Things don't look too good to me
I feel I'm out of luck (stop it!)
And all because of swollen glands
And just one stupid fuck
This wacko came from Alabama and
That's not where it's at
And now your jock's been chasing me round
With a great big baseball bat

Don't beat my ass, don't beat my ass
Don't beat my ass with a baseball bat no!
Don't beat my ass, don't beat my ass
Don't beat my ass with a baseball bat no!

Well, I was in the mood for some love in bulk
Not a wrestling match with a some big hulk
And this here dude he was an uncool cat
And he beat me bout' my head with a baseball bat
(Ouch... shit! one, two, three, four)

Don't beat my ass, don't beat my ass
Don't beat my ass with a baseball bat no!
Don't beat my ass, don't beat my ass
Don't beat my ass with a baseball bat no!

Don't beat my ass, don't beat my ass
Don't beat my ass with a baseball bat no!
Don't beat my ass, don't beat my ass
Don't beat my ass with a baseball bat no!

When I got up from being beat to the ground
I started itchin' around like a blue-tick hound
And I was aghast at what I found
The latest social disease that's been going around
(Oh, no... fuck! one, two, three, four)

I'll kick your ass (I'll kick your ass)
I'll kick your ass (I'll kick your ass)
I'll kick your ass with a baseball bat bitch

I'll kick your ass (I'll kick your ass)
I'll kick your ass (I'll kick your ass)
I'll kick your ass with a baseball bat bitch

I'll kick your ass (I'll kick your ass)
I'll kick your ass (I'll kick your ass)
I'll kick your ass with a baseball bat bitch

I'll kick your ass (I'll kick your ass)
I'll kick your ass (I'll kick your ass)
I'll kick your ass with a baseball bat bitch!

(Ah, it's over!)