Hello sir remember me?
I'm the man you thought I'd never be
The boy who you reduced to tears
The lad called thingy for six whole years

Yeah that's right
My names bob
The one who landed the pop stars job
The one who you told look don't touch
The kid who wouldn't amount to much

Well I'm here and your still there
With your fake sports car and receding hair
Dodgy Farah trousers that you think are smart
Married to the woman who teaches art

Married to the life married to the school
I wanna sing and dance Sir now who's the fool?
Sing and dance you thought I was barmy
Settle down thingy join the army

And who are you to tell me this
The dream I want I'll have to miss
Sir is god he's been given the right
To structure lives overnight

Now I know life's true path
Tanks and guns that will be a laugh
No not me I'm a mega civilian
I won't lead my life riding pillion

But thanks for your advice and I'm sure it will do
For the negative dickheads just like you
As for now I've a different weapon
Stage and screen are about to beckon

And here I sit in first class
Bollocks sir
Kiss my ass