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// THE DATE
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SPEAK:SHARK
EMOTE:NORMAL
So as I was saying, I used to be a human girl.
In fact... I was a Fish Scientist! A graduate of the University of Fish Studies!

SPEAK:YOU
Oh, no shit.
My boss is one of those too.
She's the one who sent me down here to work out what was going on.

SPEAK:SHARK
What's she like?

SPEAK:YOU
Big hooters and a crappy attitude.

SPEAK:SHARK
Oh yes, she sounds very typical.
All the Fish Scientist girls have big hooters. You won't get anywhere in Fish Science if you don't.
Although... there was this one girl...
Well, laying down you could have used her for a spirit level.
Anyway, point is after I graduated I became convinced that human and fish DNA were more closely linked than we thought.
I got a job aboard a research vessel called "The Golden Fin".
And aboard that ship, I started my life's work - a potion that could turn humans...
into FISH!
And FISH into HUMANS!!
EMOTE:HAPPY
I bet you never heard of anything like THAT before, right Senpai?

SPEAK:YOU
Er...
I think I once rented this movie with Aaron Paul in it...

SPEAK:SHARK
EMOTE:NORMAL
Anyway, it was a highly volatile and concentrated mixture!
But it wasn't quite perfected.
EMOTE:UPSET
But then - disaster!

SPEAK:YOU
Disaster?

SPEAK:SHARK
Disaster!
The Golden Fin sank!

SPEAK:YOU
Why? What happened?

SPEAK:SHARK
I don't know.
Legend says that the Captain just didn't like it very much.
But I was trapped aboard!
EMOTE:SHOCK
The water was rising... I thought it was the end!
But my solution tank was breeched!
I got such a high concentration of the formula, I was turned into the fish that most closely matched my DNA - a Great White Shark!
When the formula got out into the ocean, it was weaker - but still able to convert simple fish brains into partly human ones.
So now they can all talk.

SPEAK:YOU
Yeah, that makes sense.

SPEAK:SHARK
EMOTE:NORMAL
Since that day, I have been working to re-create my formula.
It's been really hard, just having fins and junk.
But I think it's ready. And you have come!
You can help me turn back into a real girl!

SPEAK:YOU
Me?

SPEAK:SHARK
Please help me, Senpai!
EMOTE:SEXY
I was a hot babe.
I will make it TOTALLY worth your while...

SPEAK:YOU
Ooh.
You got it!

SPEAK:SHARK
EMOTE:HAPPY
Yippee!
Come on! Let's ditch the bill and get back to the Golden Fin!
I'll race you!

SPEAK:YOU
You got it!

EOF