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Journal Entry 324
I returned from Alev today. It
seems to be more beautiful every time I visit.
Sailing across its blue waters, the sunlight dancing
off the waves is an
experience never forgotten.
Still, all good things
must come to an end. I
was looking forward to seeing Agmis again, but when I
returned I couldn't find
him. My friends in Gaelin village told me that
he had linked to D'ni. Linking there, I found the white linking book sitting on
the table inside his
father's library. As I was anxious to see him again
I ventured into K'aastor's
Ice Age, Taiga, and found his room while I was searching.
Within I found his
journal, unable to resist the temptation, I read it and learnt of his infatuation with
me! I don't know what event led him to the conclusion that I ever had feelings for
him more than gratitude
for enabling us to return to D'ni! Surely it is
obvious even to him that my
heart lies with Agmis and there it stays. He must
realise that his feelings are
not reciprocated.
But worse than the realization
of his true feelings for me, I
have learnt of his plans to get rid of Agmis to pave
the way for my future with
him! A life without Agmis is not worth contemplating
but a future with K'aastor
is worse a fate! I was just putting the journal
away when K'aastor arrived.
Luckily he didn't see anything and doesn't realise that
I know of his true
feelings for me despite his attempts to disguise them.
He is a good liar and if
I didn't already know his true feelings for me, his performance
today wouldn't
have led me to believe we were anymore than just good
friends. Fearing what he
may do to Agmis if I left him alone, I stayed to keep
him occupied which meant
listening to him ramble on about his past and his plans
for the future.
Journal Entry 325
I went with K'aastor to search the D'ni libraries for
ages during which he told
me his life story. My mind was a million miles
away though, buried in thoughts
about how to rid K'aastor from Agmis' life and my own.
I thought the most
obvious solution at first would be to trap him in Taiga
by destroying the
linking book back to D'ni. He has several blank
books there which he could've
used to expand his worlds if he needed. At least
that way he wouldn't be
trapped alone forever.
This would've taken some
careful planning, I was
prepared to do that, until K'aastor told me to my face
of his feelings for me.
They are a lot stronger than I first thought. So
strong that he will resort to
killing my love, Agmis by trapping him in a dying age, Amerak! Where he
gets the idea that I am in love with him from is beyond
me. It is impossible to
comprehend the confused chains of thoughts that pass
through his evil mind! He
infuriates me so much that I can barely continue to keep
up this charade.
Then I think of Agmis and the thought of being safe in
his arms again is all the
persuasion I need to continue with my plan.
The
more K'aastor tells me of
himself, the more I hate him and I fear he may be dangerous
to others as well.
Journal Entry 326
I have written the letter to Agmis telling him to meet
me in Amerak tomorrow and
delivered it to the study in Gaelin, just as K'aastor
asked me to do. Still
caught up in his own world, he didn't think to check
the letter before I
delivered it. It still amazes me that he has placed
complete trust in me after
only such a short period.
He doesn't doubt my 'love' for
him at all, which I suppose is what I wanted, or rather
what I needed for my plan
to work.
I was able to reveal K'aastor's plan to my love in the
letter that was supposed
to trick him into Amerak. Whilst letting K'aastor
think I was going
along with his plan.
In the letter I explained
K'aastor's plan to link to Amerak with our own linking
book and start a fire. K'aastor and I are meant to wait for his arrival,
then drop the linking
book into the fire as we touch the panel, leaving him
trapped to die on the already dead age. And if he brings
a linking book of his own to Amerak, K'aastor will advance with a weapon-staff, and force
the book from him.
Even though he has no need for me to tell him, I wrote that know that above all I still love him and only
play along with K'aastor
for his safety. K'aastor has almost thought of
every eventuality. It's as if
he has forgotten, or never even realised how deep my
feelings are for Agmis. He
is obviously inexperienced and doesn't understand rational
emotions, but how can I
expect him to when his feelings are barely rational?
Cold hatred strong enough to
want to murder someone is not a natural emotion.
I feel bad that it has
to end like this, in a way I'm just as bad as he is, but
it's the only way I can
save my love. K'aastor has caused enough damage
already... Amerak used to be so
beautiful, I only wish I'd found out about K'aastor's
feelings for me earlier
and told him I don't feel the same way, maybe then he
wouldn't have tried to fix
Amerak. Then Agmis' family age, that has been passed
down through
generations, would not have been ruined. But it's useless
going over it now, no one
can change the past, I shouldn't blame myself, I should
focus on the present and
what I can do now, the details of my plan aren't yet
finalised so I must hurry,
it has to be ready for tomorrow, it has to work for both
our sakes. I don't
think I could face losing him...
By the end of two day's time, Agmis will not be the man stranded on Amerak.
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