Journal Entry  324

    I returned from Alev today.  It seems to be more beautiful every time I visit. Sailing across its blue waters, the sunlight dancing off the waves is an experience never forgotten. Still, all good things must come to an end.
    I
was looking forward to seeing Agmis again, but when I returned I couldn't find him. My friends in Gaelin village told me that he had linked to D'ni.  Linking there, I found the white linking book sitting on the table inside his father's library.  As I was anxious to see him again I ventured into K'aastor's Ice Age, Taiga, and found his room while I was searching.   Within I found his journal, unable to resist the temptation, I read it and learnt of his infatuation with me!  I don't know what event led him to the conclusion that I ever had feelings for him more than gratitude for enabling us to return to D'ni!  Surely it is obvious even to him that my heart lies with Agmis and there it stays.  He must realise that his feelings are not reciprocated.
    But worse than the realization of his true feelings for me, I
have learnt of his plans to get rid of Agmis to pave the way for my future with him!  A life without Agmis is not worth contemplating but a future with K'aastor is worse a fate!   I was just putting the journal away when K'aastor arrived. Luckily he didn't see anything and doesn't realise that I know of his true feelings for me despite his attempts to disguise them.  He is a good liar and if I didn't already know his true feelings for me, his performance today wouldn't have led me to believe we were anymore than just good friends.  Fearing what he may do to Agmis if I left him alone, I stayed to keep him occupied which meant listening to him ramble on about his past and his plans for the future.



Journal Entry 325

    I went with K'aastor to search the D'ni libraries for ages during which he told me his life story.  My mind was a million miles away though, buried in thoughts about how to rid K'aastor from Agmis' life and my own.  I thought the most obvious solution at first would be to trap him in Taiga by destroying the linking book back to D'ni.  He has several blank books there which he could've used to expand his worlds if he needed.  At least that way he wouldn't be trapped alone forever.
     This would've taken some careful planning, I was
prepared to do that, until K'aastor told me to my face of his feelings for me. They are a lot stronger than I first thought.  So strong that he will resort to killing my love, Agmis by trapping him in a dying age, Amerak!  Where he gets the idea that I am in love with him from is beyond me.  It is impossible to comprehend the confused chains of thoughts that pass through his evil mind!  He infuriates me so much that I can barely continue to keep up this charade.
    Then I think of Agmis and the thought of being safe in his arms again is all the
persuasion I need to continue with my plan.
     The more K'aastor tells me of
himself, the more I hate him and I fear he may be dangerous to others as well.
 
 

Journal Entry 326

    I have written the letter to Agmis telling him to meet me in Amerak tomorrow and delivered it to the study in Gaelin, just as K'aastor asked me to do. Still caught up in his own world, he didn't think to check the letter before I delivered it.  It still amazes me that he has placed complete trust in me after only such a short period.  He doesn't doubt my 'love' for him at all, which I suppose is what I wanted, or rather what I needed for my plan to work.
     I was able to reveal K'aastor's plan to my love in the letter that was supposed
to trick him into Amerak. Whilst letting K'aastor think I was going along with his plan.  In the letter I explained K'aastor's plan to link to Amerak with our own linking book and start a fire.  K'aastor and I are meant to wait for his arrival, then drop the linking book into the fire as we touch the panel, leaving him trapped to die on the already dead age.  And if he brings a linking book of his own to Amerak, K'aastor will advance with a weapon-staff, and force the book from him.
     Even though he has no need for me to tell him, I wrote that know that above all I still love him and only play along with K'aastor
for his safety.  K'aastor has almost thought of every eventuality.  It's as if he has forgotten, or never even realised how deep my feelings are for Agmis.  He is obviously inexperienced and doesn't understand rational emotions, but how can I expect him to when his feelings are barely rational?  Cold hatred strong enough to want to murder someone is not a natural emotion.  I feel bad that it has to end like this, in a way I'm just as bad as he is, but it's the only way I can save my love.  K'aastor has caused enough damage already... Amerak used to be so beautiful, I only wish I'd found out about K'aastor's feelings for me earlier and told him I don't feel the same way, maybe then he wouldn't have tried to fix Amerak. Then Agmis' family age, that has been passed down through generations, would not have been ruined.  But it's useless going over it now, no one can change the past, I shouldn't blame myself, I should focus on the present and what I can do now, the details of my plan aren't yet finalised so I must hurry, it has to be ready for tomorrow, it has to work for both our sakes.  I don't think I could face losing him...
    By the end of two day's time, Agmis will not be the man stranded on Amerak.

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