<span class="title">Dear J</span>
[By the time you read this]<crossout1|
(click: ?next1)[Every day I think about how lucky I am to have you]<crossout2|
(click: ?next2)[I have found a way to fix everything]<crossout3|
(click: ?next3)[
This isn't working.
You crumple the page in frustration and throw it into the [fire]<fire|.]
(click: ?fire)[It pops and crackles at you. Your company looks up at you from across it. His eyes glint in it's light.
"Take your time, friend," The man says "I've got all night."
You need to write (cycling-link: bind $Jpronoun, "him", "her", "them") a letter to explain yourself.
[[You don't want to do this.->Don't want]]
[[You wish you didn't have to do this.->Wish you didn't have to]]
]
(mouseover-replace: ?crossout1)[$strike["By the time you read this"]<next1|]
(mouseover-replace: ?crossout2)[$strike["Every day I think about how lucky I am to have you"]<next2|]
(mouseover-replace: ?crossout3)[$strike["I have found a way to fix everything"]<next3|]
(set: $strike to(text-style:"strike")) (enchant: "him",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF))) (enchant: "her",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF))) (enchant: "them",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(set: $pages to 1)(set: $letter to (font: 'Caveat'))What you want doesn't matter.
(set: $pcfeeling to 'dont want')
This is about your (cycling-link: bind $Jrelationship, "lover", "best friend", "partner"), J.
You get ready *another* sheet of paper.
You pick up the charcoal stick.
(click: "You pick up the charcoal stick.")
["Why don't you start at the [[beginning->The First Time]]?" the stranger offers.
"Or you could start with how you [[feel about 'em?->The Things You Love]]? I bet they'd appreciate that."
]
(enchant: "lover",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "best friend",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "partner",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))It doesn't matter what you want.
(set: $pcfeeling to 'wish you didnt have to')
This is about your (cycling-link: bind $Jrelationship, "lover", "best friend", "partner"),J.
You get ready *another* sheet of paper.
You pick up the charcoal stick.
(click: "You pick up the charcoal stick.")
["Why don't you start at the [[beginning->The First Time]]?" the stranger offers.
"Or you could start with how you [[feel about 'em?->The Things You Love]]? I bet they'd appreciate that."
]
(enchant: "lover",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "best friend",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "partner",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))The first time you saw J was (cycling-link: bind $mem1where, "in town", "on that ranch").
You start to put the words down on the page. It's hard, but you manage.
(click: "manage")[You had just arrived there. You had no idea you would meet your $Jrelationship that day.
It was dawn. The sun had just risen over the horizon. The shadows were long, and your night had been even longer. You had ridden non-stop that night to get to your destination.
You met the love of your life when you (cycling-link: bind $mem1meet, "nearly ran them over", "fell off your horse", "introduced yourself"). How could you forget that day?]
(click:"that day?")[[[You write down what you remember.->The Stranger]]]
(set: $mem1 to 1)
(if: $thirdpage is 1)[(set: $mem1 to 3)]
(enchant: "in town",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "on that ranch",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "nearly ran them over",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "fell off your horse",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "introduced yourself",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))You think about J,
(click: "think about J")[
What you love the most about $Jpronoun is $Jpronoun2 <span class="golden">(cycling-link: bind $Jabout, "no nonsense attitude", "warmth and kindness", "mischievious nature")</span>.
You write about it.]
(set: $Jpersonality to 2)
(click: "You write about it.")[
The camp fire is getting low. The Stranger shuffles his feet, and looks at you. He looks away when you notice. (if: $known is '$devil')[He's beginning to get impatient.]
[[You need to finish this letter.->The Stranger]]
]
(set: $Jpersonality to 1)(if: $known is '$devil')[(click-replace:"Stranger")[Devil]](set: $pages to it + 1)(if: $thirdpage is 1)[(set: $Jpersonality to 3)] (enchant: "no nonsense attitude",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "warmth and kindness",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "mischievious nature",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF))){(if: $mem1 is 1)[(display: "mem1sample")](if: $Jabout is 1)[(display: "Jpersonalitysample")]}
You glance up at the Stranger sitting across from you at the fire.
You think for a moment, and then:
[[Consider why you're out here]]
[[Ask About the Stranger]]
{(if: $Jpronoun is "him")[(set: $Jpronoun2 to "his")](else-if: $Jpronoun is "her")[(set: $Jpronoun2 to "her")](else-if: $Jpronoun is "them")[(set: $Jpronoun2 to "their")]}{(if: $Jpronoun is "him")[(set: $Jpronoun3 to "man")](else-if: $Jpronoun is "her")[(set: $Jpronoun3 to "woman")](else-if: $Jpronoun is "them")[(set: $Jpronoun3 to "person")]}{(if: $Jpronoun is "him")[(set: $Jpronoun4 to "He")](else-if: $Jpronoun is "her")[(set: $Jpronoun4 to "She")](else-if: $Jpronoun is "them")[(set: $Jpronoun4 to "They")]}
(if: $pages is 3)[(go-to: "Third Page Sample")]
(set: $gold to (text-color: 'goldenrod'))You rode out here, to the outskirts of town, at sunset because
(cycling-link: "Today, you killed a man.", "Today, you killed a man.")
You'd never done that before.
(click: "You'd never done that before.")[
That fatcat at the bank had promised, *promised* you that he would wipe away $Jpronoun's debt. All you had to do was take care of a "nuisance".
J would get the farm, and everything would be alright.]
(click: "alright.")[
He |gold>[lied].
(click-append: "lied.")[Of course he did. You were a fool to trust him.]
You started a fire and looked at the sunset... until you heard the sound of hooves. When you looked down, the Stranger was there.
]
(click: "stranger")[
Dressed in a snappy get up, with a black hat to complete the look.
He made you an offer. And you took it. Even though you had just been betrayed by one deal, you're taking this one. Because you're (cycling-link: "a fool", "desperate", "a desperate fool").
You look down at the [[barely started letter->The Next Part]].]
(set: $known to $today)(enchant: ?gold, (text-color:'goldenrod'))(enchant: "Today, you killed a man.",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))"Are you the Devil?" You ask the Stranger.
(click:"ask the Stranger")["Yes," he says.
(live: 2s)[Oh.]] (click: "Oh.")[
That settles that, then.]
(click: "That settles that, then.")[(t8n: "dissolve")[
"When you take my memories of J...]](click: "take my memories of J")[...you'll be good for the money?"]
(click: "the money?")[The Stranger reaches into his pocket and pulls out a huge wad of cash, and he fans through it. You can see from where you're sitting that those are 20 dollar bills.
"Good... Good." You look back down at the [[barely started letter->The Next Part]].]
(set: $known to "$devil")(if: $known is '$devil')[The letter has room for two more passages. What do you
Hold on.]
(click: "Hold on.")[Did he just say he was the Devil? As in, Satan? You're really making a deal with the Devil?
This is a |gold>[terrible] idea!]
(click: "terrible")[
You knew that already.
The fact of it is, you need the money and you need it now.
''J needs it now.''
You steel yourself and raise your pencil.
What will the second page be about?
[[The time you spent with J->The Time You Spent]]
[[Why you're doing this->The Why]]
]
(else:)[The letter has room for two more passages. What do you feel should be the next part?
[[The time you spent with J->The Time You Spent]]
[[Why you're doing this->The Why]]]
(enchant: ?gold, (text-color:'goldenrod'))You remember how you would meet with J (cycling-link: bind $mem2when, "under the stars", "during the day").
You write about it.
(click: "You write about it.")[
There was never a lot of time to meet-the two of you were always so busy. But you both did the best you could. The (cycling-link: bind $mem2where, "stables", "rooftops", "fields") was where you saw $Jpronoun the most.
You smile at the memories.]
(click: "smile")[
The camp fire is getting low.
You look at [[the last page you have left.->The Last Part]]]
(set: $mem2 to 2)(if: $known is '$devil')[(click-replace:"Stranger")[Devil]](set: $pages to it + 1)(if: $thirdpage is 1)[(set: $mem2 to 3)](enchant: "under the stars",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "during the day",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "stables",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "rooftops",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "fields",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))Why are you doing this?
(click: "Why are you doing this?")[It's not too late to stop. To turn back. Right?]
(click: "Right?")[But...]
(click: "But...")[What about $Jpronoun?
Your pencil hovers over the page. You think for a moment, then slowly start to write]
(click:"write")["I'm doing this because...(cycling-link: bind $pcreason, "I couldn't live with myself if I didn't","I want your dreams to come true","I don't want to remember what I did")."
[[You lift your pencil.->The Last Part]]
]
(set: $why to 2)(if: $thirdpage is 1)[(set: $why to 3)](enchant: "I couldn't live with myself if I didn't",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "I want your dreams to come true",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "I don't want to remember what I did",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF))){(if: $mem2 is 2)[(display: "mem2sample")](if: $why is 2)[(display: "whysample")]}
What is there left for you to say?
(if: $pages is 3)[(go-to: "Third Page Sample")]
You've written about {(if: $mem1 is 1)[how you met J](else-if: $Jpersonality is 1)[what you love about J]}.
And you've written about {(if: $mem2 is 2)[spending time with J](else-if: $why is 2)[why you're doing this]}.
You have one page left.
Fill that last page with...
[[Your hope for the future->The Future]]
(if: $Jpersonality is not 1)[(link-reveal-goto: "What you love about J", "The Third Page")[(set: $thirdpage to 1)(set: $Jpersonality to 3)]]
(if: $why is not 2)[(link-reveal-goto: "Why you're doing this", "The Third Page")[(set: $thirdpage to 1)(set: $why to 3)]]
(if: $mem1 is not 1)[(link-reveal-goto: "Meeting J for the first time","The Third Page")[(set: $thirdpage to 1)(set: $mem1 to 3)]]
(if: $mem2 is not 2)[(link-reveal-goto: "Spending time with J","The Third Page")[(set: $thirdpage to 1)(set: $mem2 to 3)]]You write to J about what you hope will happen once you deliver $Jpronoun this letter to $Jpronoun.
There *will* be a happy ending to this story. For (cycling-link: "J and you", "for the both of you", "the two of you", "your $Jrelationship and you", "J. And for you").
You write the last page.
(click: "write")[
(display: "hopesample")
[[Read the entire letter->The Letter For J]] ]
(set: $hope to 3)(enchant: "J and you",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "for the both of you",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "the two of you",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "your $Jrelationship and you",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "J. And for you",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(if: $mem1 is 3)[(display: "The First Time")]
(if: $mem2 is 3)[(display: "The Time You Spent")]
(if: $why is 3)[(display: "The Why")]
(if: $Jpersonality is 3)[(display: "The Things You Love")]
(set: $pages to 3)$letter["(cycling-link: bind $sig, "From", "Sincerely", "Love", "All the Best", "Your Dear Friend", "Your Partner", "Please Forgive Me", "See You Soon"), $name"]
[[Fold up the completed letter->The Stranger Again]]
(enchant: "From",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "Sincerely",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "Love",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "All the Best",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "Your Dear Friend",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "Your Partner",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "Please Forgive Me",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(enchant: "See You Soon",(text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: #00BFFF)))(set: $name to (prompt: "Your name is:", ""))
(go-to: "Dear J")
(css: "background-color:indigo")You fold the letter. Carefully you write J's full name on the front.
"All finished?" The Stranger asks you.
Are you?
No, you should start over
Yes
(click: "No, you should start over")[You can't. You're out of paper, and you're out of time.]
(click: "Yes")[
What you have now will have to suffice.
You carefully put the letter in your saddle bag. Meredith, your horse, stirrs. You give her a few pats.
The Stranger holds out his hand.
(click: "his hand.")[
In the dying light of the fire, you shake the Stranger's hand.
He gives you an envelope of dollar bills. You check to make sure there's enough to cover the debt.]
(click: "check to make sure there's enough")[
There is.
The Stranger gets on his horse.
"That's it?" you ask.]
(click: "you ask.")[
"That's it," he says. He leaves you behind.
[[You sit in the dimming glow of a dying fire.->Alone]]]][(t8n: "dissolve")+(t8n-time: 3s)[The sun comes up.
You have a letter to [[deliver->...]].]]You're dead tired. You didn't sleep at all last night. But a job's a job, and you ride Meredith down the path and through town to a farm nearby. The sunrise is bathing the field in gold.
(click: "gold")[
{(if: $mem1meet is "nearly ran them over")[
You shake your head, trying to wake yourself up. When that doesn't work, you spur Meredith into a sprint, and then a gallop. The wind hitting your wakes you up better than-
There's a $Jpronoun3 on the path!
You pull on Meredith's reigns. She comes to a stop just before she runs into $Jpronoun.]
(if: $mem1meet is "fell off your horse")[
As Meredith trods along the path down to the big house, you begin to nod off. Before you know it, you've slid off your saddle and hit the dirt. You push yourself up, cursing.
A $Jpronoun3 comes from the side and grabs Meredith's reigns. $Jpronoun4 leads her over to you as you pick yourself up.]
(if: $mem1meet is "introduced yourself")[
You keep yourself awake and have Meredith stop in front of the big house. You dismount and approach the door. Just as you raise your fist to knock, the door opens inward.
A $Jpronoun3 is standing behind the door. Before your tired brain can catch up to your body, you take $Jpronoun2 hand and shake. As you realize what it is you're doing, your face flushes, and you take your hand back.]
(else:)[You ride up to the big house and dismount. A $Jpronoun3 is sitting on the front step. $Jpronoun4 {(if: $Jpronoun is 'them')[stand](else:)[stands]} up and moves over to you.]}
The $Jpronoun3 looks at you. $Jpronoun2 eyes are tired, but $Jpronoun4 {(if: $Jpronoun is 'them')[seem](else:)[seems]} pleased to see you.]
(click: "pleased to see you")[
"Where have you been?" $Jpronoun4 asks you "I was starting to worry."
This $Jpronoun3 must really want $Jpronoun2 mail.]
(click: "mail.")[
"Are you J?" You ask, handing $Jpronoun1 the envelope and letter.
{(if: $Jabout is 'no nonsense attitude')[$Jpronoun4 frowns as $Jpronoun4 {(if: $Jpronoun is 'them')[take](else:)[takes]} the items from you.]
(if: $Jabout is 'warmth and kindness')[$Jpronoun4 looks at you, concerned as $Jpronoun4 {(if: $Jpronoun is 'them')[take](else:)[takes]} the items from you.]
(if: $Jabout is 'mischievious nature')[$Jpronoun4 raises $Jpronoun2 eyebrow as $Jpronoun4 {(if: $Jpronoun is 'them')[take](else:)[takes]} the items from you.]
(else:)[$Jpronoun4 {(if: $Jpronoun is 'them')[stare](else:)[stares]} at you for a moment. $Jpronoun slowly {(if: $Jpronoun is 'them')[take](else:)[takes]} the items from you.] }
"$Jpronoun4 must be J." You think to yourself.
You still need to get paid. [[You wait for J to read the letter.->The End]]]That's it. It's done.
In the dim light of the fire, you read over what you've written for J. You put your heart into this letter. You hope that's enough.
(link-reveal: "The First Page")
[$letter[
<span class="title">Dear J,</span>
I've made a deal with {(if: $known is '$devil')[the devil](else:)[a Stranger]} for money. You won't have to worry about paying off that debt for the farm.
The catch is that I sold my memories of you. If I'm acting weird when I give you this letter, it isn't a cruel trick. I didn't get hit in the head, or fall off my horse. When I give you this letter, I won't remember you. I'm so sorry, J.
(display: "feeling")
(if: $mem1 is 1)[(display: "mem1")](if: $Jpersonality is 1)[(display: "Jpersonality")]]]
(link-reveal: "The Second Page")[$letter[
(if: $mem2 is 2)[(display: "mem2")](if: $why is 2)[(display: "why")]
]]
(link-reveal: "The Third Page")[$letter[
(if: $mem1 is 3)[(display: "mem1")](if: $why is 3)[(display: "why")](if: $mem2 is 3)[(display: "mem2")](if: $Jpersonality is 3)[(display: "Jpersonality")](if: $hope is 3)[(display: "hope")]]]
All that's left is to [[Sign it->The Signature]].{(if: $pcfeeling is "dont want")[
I don't want to be doing this. I don't want to say goodbye. But I know that this goodbye won't be forever.
I want to fix this mess we've made, and this is the only way I can think to do that. I want you to be happy, and if I pass this up I don't think I could live with myself.
]
(else-if: $pcfeeling is "wish you didnt have to")[Please, please believe me that I wish I didn't have to do this. But I want you to be happy, and I want to be able to fix this mess we've made. No matter what happens, don't blame yourself. This was my decision.]}{(if: $mem1where is 'in town')[(display: "wherea")]
(else-if: $mem1where is 'on that ranch')[(display: "whereb")]}
{(if: $mem1meet is 'nearly ran them over')[(display: "meeta")]
(else-if: $mem1meet is 'fell off your horse')[(display: "meetb")]
(else-if: $mem1meet is 'introduced yourself')[(display: "meetc")]}(if: $pcreason is "I couldn't live with myself if I didn't")[(display: "whya")](else-if: $pcreason is "I want your dreams to come true")[(display: "whyb")](else-if: $pcreason is "I don't want to remember what I did")[(display: "whyc")]
{(if: $mem2when is 'under the stars')[(display: "mem2whena")]
(else-if: $mem2when is 'during the day')[(display: "mem2whenb")]}
{(if: $mem2where is 'stables')[(display: "mem2wherea")]
(else-if: $mem2where is 'rooftops')[(display: "mem2whereb")]
(else-if: $mem2where is 'fields')[(display: "mem2wherec")]}You wait for $Jpronoun to read the letter.
(click: "read the letter")[
J sits down on the steps of the house.
You stand there awkwardly.]
(click: "You stand there awkwardly.")[
J lets the letter slide from $Jpronoun hands. $Jpronoun3 {(if: $Jpronoun is 'them')[check](else:)[checks]} the envelope. J, looking stunned, puts it back down and picks up the letter again.
$Jpronoun4 {(if: $Jpronoun is 'them')[read](else:)[reads]} it again.
J looks at you again, and then buries $Jpronoun2 face in $Jpronoun2 hands.
{(if: $Jabout is 'mischevious nature')[J begins to giggle. Then $Jpronoun3 {(if: $Jpronoun is 'them')[start](else:)[starts]} to laugh.]} J uncovers $Jpronoun2 face, and you see the tears falling from $Jpronoun2 eyes.]
(click: "tears falling")[
"I can... come back later, if now's a bad time." You offer.]
(click: "You offer.")[
"No!" J leaps up and wraps $Jpronoun2 arms around you.]
(click: "arms around you.")[
You're confused...](click: "confused...")[(t8n: "dissolve")[ but this isn't unwelcome.]]
(click: "unwelcome")[(t8n: "dissolve")[
"You should read it." J whispers to you.
"Alright...?" You say back.]]
(click: "Alright...?")[(t8n: "dissolve")[
"Yeah," J says. $Jpronoun2 {(if: $Jpronoun is 'them')[look](else:)[looks]} you in the eye. "It will be."
*The End*]](if: $Jabout is "no nonsense attitude")[(display: "Jpersonalitya")](else-if: $Jabout is "warmth and kindness")[(display: "Jpersonalityb")](else-if: $Jabout is "mischievious nature")[(display: "Jpersonalityc")]J, the first time I saw you was in town. It was morning, and I had just rode in. I'd been riding all night. I was sore and tired. I couldn't think straight.J, the first time I saw you was on your Pa's ranch. It was morning, the crack of dawn. The sun was coming up over the horizon and the field was lit up all gold. I would have appreciated it more if I wasn't so sore and tired from riding all night.(if: $mem1where is 'in town')[I was falling asleep on my saddle. I was almost at the rest stop, and I figured what the hell. I went as fast as I could down that street. There was no one out that early and I could have sworn you just popped out of the ground.
It was a close call. I can't imagine what I would have done if if I had hit you. I still feel bad about it, no matter how many times you tell me we're square.
I suppose this will be the last time I apologize for it. If this works, I imagine I'll have something else to apologize for instead.]
(else-if: $mem1where is 'on that ranch')[I was falling asleep on my saddle, but I had almost made it to the ranch. I went as fast as I could down the trail, the farm house was in sight. I remember seeing the sun come up over it's roof, and feeling the wind in my face.
I didn't see that gate until I almost had Meredith run right into it. And I didn't see you standing on that gate until we stopped. I'm sorry that I scared you like that. I know you've told me to stop apologizing, but I still wince thinking about it.
I suppose this will be the last time I apologize for it. If this works, I imagine I'll have something else to apologize for instead.]
(if: $mem1where is 'in town')[Last thing I remember was seeing the town from a distance, all lit up from the rising sun. I nodded off, and Meredith just kept on going till we reached it. Next thing I knew I was in the middle of the street, covered in dirt. I woke up alright.
I picked myself up as fast as I could so I could get Meredith, but there was no need. You walked over and grabbed her reigns for me. I remember how you were trying real hard not to laugh.
Maybe the silver lining in me doing this is that I'll get another shot at introducing myself. Hopefully I won't make such a fool out of myself the second time around.]
(else-if: $mem1where is 'on that ranch')[I remember seeing the farmhouse in the distance. I nodded off, and Meredith just kept on going till we reached the gate. Next thing I knew, I was face down in the dirt. If the fall didn't wake me up, seeing you standing by the fence trying not to laugh did.
Maybe the silver lining in me doing this is that I'll get another shot at introducing myself. Hopefully I won't make such a fool out of myself the second time around.](if: $mem1where is 'in town')[I rode in to town, and there you were, walking down the street at the break of dawn. I saw you in silouette against the sunlight, lit up in reds and golds. I had to rub my eyes because there was no way it was real. But there you were.
I got off Meredith and went to shake your hand before I had even said hello! Me being a total stranger, shaking your hand like that- I wouldn't have blamed you if you had struck me across the cheek. Once my brain caught up with my hand, my tounge started tripping over my own name! I still flush when I think about how that went down.
Maybe the silver lining in me doing this is that I'll get another shot at introducing myself. Hopefully I won't make such a fool out of myself the second time around.]
(else-if: $mem1where is 'on that ranch')[I rode up to that ranch and went up to the big house. And I saw you, silouette against the sunlight, lit up in reds and golds. I had to rub my eyes because there was no way it was real, but there you were.
I nearly tripped over my own feet making my way over to you. I hoped that you didn't see that. But after I shook your hand and we traded names, you must have seen me fall into the dirt!
Maybe the silver lining in me doing this is that I'll get another shot at introducing myself. Hopefully I won't make such a fool out of myself the second time around.]You always talked about taking over the farm- how you would do things different. How you had learned everything you needed to know to do it all your life. You always have your eye on the prize. But me? I've always run from my problems.
Maybe this is just another way to do that. I hope not. I want to believe that I'm doing this for you. It's okay if you hate me for it. The truth is that I would hate me if I didn't do it.
I couldn't live with myself if I didn't give everything I had to help you.You always talked about taking over the farm- how you would do things different. How you had learned everything you needed to know to do it all your life. You always have your eyes on the prize.
I've always drifted from one job to the next, trying to make ends meet. It would take ten of me to live up to one of you, J.
I want your dreams to come true.J, I made a mistake today. I thought I could get the debt collector off your back. I offered him my services, told him I'd do anything to take care of the problem. He wanted me to take care of a nuisance for him. Someone hadn't paid up on their debt.
I killed a man today, J. I was taken for a fool. The bastard didn't square your debt. A man died for nothing, by my hands.
If you hate me for that, I don't blame you. But at least take the money. Have this be for something. I'm so sorry. I don't want to remember what I did. I hope that by doing this, I can make up for it and balance the scales.We didn't have a lot of time to see each other during the day, so we met under the stars. J, those moments were the best times of my life.We stole what time we could during the day. A few minutes in between chores, talking about nonsense. J, those minutes were some of the best times of my life.(if: $mem2when is "under the stars")[I didn't mind the smell of the stables. Talking with you there made me feel alive, like I belonged somewhere. For a long time now, Meredith has been my only companion. She's a great gal, but horses aren't the same as people.
I didn't know what I was missing until I started to spend time with you.]
(if: $mem2when is "during the day")[We would run into each other during chores at the stables. You taught me the names of every horse there. Cleaning them, feeding them, replacing their shoes- those didn't feel like chores when we did them together.](if: $mem2when is "under the stars")[I remember when we started going to the roof of the barn and staring up at the sky. You taught me the names of the constellations, and then we started making up our own.Being there with you made me feel like I truly belonged somewhere. Like maybe me being alive means something.
I hope that if you'll still have me after this, you'll teach me those constellations that we made together.]
(if: $mem2when is "during the day")[One of my chores on the farm was fixing up the roof of that old barn. I appreciated your help, and after a while I came to appreciate your company too.(if: $Jpersonality is "mischievious nature")[It's funny how it took so long to fix. Like someone was undoing some of the work after we had done it.]
While we were up there, looking down on the farm, I felt like I finally had somewhere I belonged.](if: $mem2when is "under the stars")[We would meet on that hill in the fields and stare up at the stars. I brought beer and we would talk about all sorts of nonsense. You taught me the names of the constellations, and then we started making up our own. When I was there with you J, staring up at sky, I felt like I belonged somewhere. Being there with you made me feel like my life meant something.
I hope, if you still have me after this, that you'll teach me the ones we made up together, because I wont remember them.]
(if: $mem2when is "during the day")[When the sun started to come down, and we were done with chores, we would meet on that hill in the field and talk about nonsense. It felt like we could see the whole world from there.
Being there with you made me feel like I belonged somewhere. It made me feel like I meant something.]J, you've always been honest with me. You didn't have time for fooling around, or excuses, or any kind of malarkey. I confess, I was a little intimidated when we first got to talking. You could be down right mean with the truth sometimes.
But whenever you had something nice to say, you didn't hold back. If you thought I was doing a good job, you clapped me on the shoulder and told me so. If you were thankful, you outright said it. Same if you were sorry, or angry. But the best is when I got to see you happy.
I love that about you.
By the way, I don't know if you know this, but you hum a little tune when you're pleased with something and you think no one can hear you. I know you have an image to keep up, so I never told anyone.The thing I love the most about you, J, is that you're always a ray of sunshine. You're always trying to look on the bright side of things, even if it's hidden behind a thunderstorm. You were patient with me when I was learning my way around the farm those first weeks.
You were easy for me to talk to, never judging me too harshly for anything I might have done. I felt I could open up to you about where I've been, and how I feel about things.J, ever since we first met, you've been a scamp. You were always cracking jokes. It got you into trouble sometimes, like when you caused such a ruckes in town that the sheriff brought you back to the ranch.
You were never cruel though. You knew when a joke was just mean-spirited. When someone was acting out, you remembered it, and you made sure to pay them back. Whether it was stealing their socks or scheduling them so they had to be in two places at once.
You always knew a way to put a smile on my face, J. It broke my heart seeing you so sad when you heard about your Pa's debt. I hope that when this is all over you'll be able to laugh again, J.I don't know what's going to happen next. You've got every right to be furious with me. I hope that when I give you this letter, you'll understand and forgive me. I can't say for sure though. What I do know is that no matter what happens, you'll be alright. You're a strong $Jpronoun3, with a strong heart.
More than anything, J, I'm hoping that you feel the same way about me as I do about you. And that if you do, I hope you'll let me {(if: $Jrelationship is 'best friend')[get to know you](else:)[fall in love with you] all over again.I am a (cycling-link: "cycling-link", "link that cycles", "pain in the ass")
[[I'm a normal link]]
TEMPLATE
(enchant: "cycling-link", (text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: "gold"))) (enchant: "link that cycles", (text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: "gold"))) (enchant: "pain in the ass", (text-color: #DAA520) + (hover-style: (color: "gold")))
(set: $letter1 to (font: 'Caveat'))
(set: $letter2 to (font: 'Montserrat'))cycling-link
Normal font!
$letter1[I'm for testing fonts!]
$letter2[I'm for testing fonts!]$letter[{(if: $mem1where is 'in town')[...I'd been riding all night. I was sore and tired. I couldn't think straight...](if: $mem1where is 'on that ranch')[J, the first time I saw you was on your Pa's ranch...]}]
$letter[{
(if: $mem1meet is 'nearly ran them over')[I suppose this will be the last time I apologize for it. If this works, I imagine I'll have something else to apologize for instead.]
(if: $mem1meet is 'fell off your horse')[(if: $mem1where is 'in town')[I picked myself up as fast as I could so I could get Meredith, but there was no need. You walked over and grabbed her reigns for me. I remember how you were trying real hard not to laugh.](if: $mem1where is 'on that ranch')[I remember seeing the farmhouse in the distance. I nodded off, and Meredith just kept on going till we reached the gate. Next thing I knew, I was face down in the dirt. If the fall didn't wake me up, seeing you standing by the fence trying not to laugh did.]]
(if: $mem1meet is 'introduced yourself')[...Maybe the silver lining in me doing this is that I'll get another shot at introducing myself. Hopefully I won't make such a fool out of myself the second time around.]
}][[mem1sample]]
(set: $letter to (font: 'Caveat'))
(set: $mem1where to 'on that ranch')
(set: $mem1meet to 'fell off your horse')$letter[(if: $Jabout is "no nonsense attitude")[But whenever you had something nice to say, you didn't hold back. If you thought I was doing a good job, you clapped me on the shoulder and told me so. If you were thankful, you outright said it. Same if you were sorry, or angry. But the best is when I got to see you happy.]
(else-if: $Jabout is "warmth and kindness")[The thing I love the most about you, J, is that you're always a ray of sunshine. You're always trying to look on the bright side of things, even if it's hidden behind a thunderstorm. You were patient with me when I was learning my way around the farm those first weeks.
](else-if: $Jabout is "mischievious nature")[You were never cruel though. You knew when a joke was just mean-spirited. When someone was acting out, you remembered it, and you made sure to pay them back. Whether it was stealing their socks or scheduling them so they had to be in two places at once.]]{(if: $mem1 is 3)[(display: "mem1sample")]
(if: $mem2 is 3)[(display: "mem2sample")]
(if: $why is 3)[(display: "whysample")]
(if: $Jpersonality is 3)[(display: "Jpersonalitysample")]
(if: $hope is 3)[(display: "hopesample")]}
There.
(click: "There.")[ [[You lift your pencil->The Letter For J]] ]$letter[{(if: $mem2when is 'under the stars')[...we met under the stars...](if: $mem2when is 'during the day')[We stole what time we could during the day...]}]
$letter[
(if: $mem2where is 'stables')[(if: $mem2when is 'under the stars')[I didn't mind the smell of the stables. Talking with you there made me feel alive, like I belonged somewhere. For a long time now, Meredith has been my only companion. She's a great gal, but horses aren't the same as people.]
(if: $mem2when is 'during the day')[We would run into each other during chores at the stables. You taught me the names of every horse there. Cleaning them, feeding them, replacing their shoes- those didn't feel like chores when we did them together.]]
(if: $mem2where is 'rooftops')[
(if: $mem2when is 'under the stars')[I remember when we started going to the roof of the barn and staring up at the sky. You taught me the names of the constellations, and then we started making up our own.Being there with you made me feel like I truely belonged somewhere. Like maybe me being alive means something.]
(if: $mem2when is 'during the day')[One of my chores on the farm was fixing up the roof of that old barn. I appreciated your help, and after a while I came to appreciate your company too.(if: $Jpersonality is "mischievious nature")[It's funny how it took so long to fix. Like someone was undoing some of the work after we had done it.]]
(if: $mem2where is 'fields')[
(if: $mem2when is 'under the stars')[We would meet on that hill in the fields and stare up at the stars. I brought beer and we would talk about all sorts of nonsense. You taught me the names of the constellations, and then we started making up our own. When I was there with you J, staring up at sky, I felt like I belonged somewhere. Being there with you made me feel like my life meant something.]
(if: $mem2when is 'during the day')[When the sun started to come down, and we were done with chores, we would meet on that hill in the field and talk about nonsense. It felt like we could see the whole world from there.]]]]$letter[{(if: $pcreason is "I couldn't live with myself if I didn't")[Maybe this is just another way to do that. I hope not. I want to believe that I'm doing this for you. It's okay if you hate me for it. The truth is that I would hate me if I didn't do it.
]
(else-if: $pcreason is "I want your dreams to come true")[I've always drifted from one job to the next, trying to make ends meet. It would take ten of me to live up to one of you, J.]
(else-if: $pcreason is "I don't want to remember what I did")[If you hate me for that, I don't blame you. But at least take the money. Have this be for something. I'm so sorry. I don't want to remember what I did. I hope that by doing this, I can make up for it and balance the scales.]}]$letter[(if: $hope is 3)[...I hope you'll let me (if: $Jrelationship is 'best friend')[get to know you](else:)[fall in love with you] all over again...]]