Consolation Prize by Linda Kage

Don’t you just hate it when someone destroys all your carefully made plans?

I mean, I had goals: college to graduate in one semester, a future I was working hard to reach, and an image of myself I wanted the world to see. My life was stacked into these precisely placed blocks. But then Colton Gamble came along and knocked them all askew.

I hated how he messed everything up, how he could hog all my attention whenever he was around, how he made my pulse quicken—but only because he ticked me off...not because I was attracted to him. Oh! And I hated how he knew how attractive he was too, the shallow, full of himself, doesn’t take no for an answer, too flirty, too cocky, extremely irritating jerk.

The boy had all the qualities that turned me off. Or so I thought.

One night he wasn’t quite the brainless, overconfident jerk I assumed he always was.

One night, he took care of me when I was at my lowest. He opened up to me and made me open up to him.

Now I’m learning maybe he’s not what I first thought he was. And maybe I’M not what I first thought I was. Maybe it’s okay to rearrange a couple of my perfectly set blocks. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll stop worrying about what I’m afraid everyone else will think and finally reach for something I really want. It’s possible some of my plans need to be destroyed, and Colton Gamble is exactly the kind of mess I need in my life.

What do you think? Should I give him a try?

Desperately seeking your advice,

Julianna Radcliffe

DEDICATION

One true friend adds more to our happiness than a thousand enemies add to our unhappiness.

~Marie Dubsky

This one’s for

Lindsay Brooks

&

Lauren Sweeney

Thank you for wiping away two thousand unhappies!

AUTHOR’S NOTE

Once again, I’m writing a story to honor the request of a reader!

A little over a year ago, Ms. Ciara Townsend wrote to me: “My best friend and I are avid readers, and my favorite books usually have white lead characters and black minor characters, and they’re usually quite ghetto. It’s a little discouraging when all of the couples are with people of the same race when there are so many mixed people in the world. I would love an interracial romance, especially when there are so many people that don’t believe in it.”

I always crave a good writing challenge, and this one is another for me because like Ciara, I haven’t run across a lot of interracial stories myself. I have no idea what kind of elements are usually in them or not in them. So hopefully I do this one some justice! Fingers crossed!

Here is a little bit of forbidden interracial romance just for you, Ciara.

COLTON’S CHAPTER | 1

Damn, I loved wedding receptions.

Parties must’ve been in my blood because I seemed to flourish at them. There was just something about the noise and energy and hint of wild abandon that got my engines revving. And no better place could I make a spectacle of myself, projecting the image I wanted everyone to see, than in a busy, crowded room like this.

Oh, the things you could hide behind a loud, boisterous personality at a loud, boisterous party were truly amazing.

“I know what you’re all thinking,” I drawled into the microphone I carried as I meandered back and forth behind the wedding party’s table to address the crowd. “Why the hell did a specimen as lovely as Sarah Arnosta settle for my loser of a big brother when she could’ve had all this, right?”

As I splayed a hand down the side of my tux jacket, motioning to myself, my brother Brandt twisted in his seat to punch at me, muttering curses as he swung. But I only chuckled and ruffled his hair before dodging out of his reach. “Well, all I can say to that, my friends, is love must be blind.”

My answer drew a laugh from the crowd. I grinned and waited for the sound to die down before I got serious. “Or maybe Aristotle said it best when he wrote, ‘love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies,’ because despite the fact I am obviously the far more handsome and charming brother, Sarah made the right decision.” Setting a hand on the bride’s shoulder, I grinned at her affectionately. “She recognized the missing part of herself nine years ago when she met Brandt, and there was no separating either of them from that point on.”

When she reached up to squeeze my fingers, I leaned down to kiss her cheek. “For all of us who watched your romance bloom into what it is today, it felt as if it took you guys forever to realize you were meant to be more than just friends. But patience truly must be a virtue richly rewarded because you two have hit the jackpot. This right here, what you have between you, is a love-till-death-do-us-part if I ever saw one. I’m so happy you guys finally figured it out. And I’d say good luck to you, but I know you don’t need it. You already have what you need to make a great life together. You’ll be just fine. I love you both. You’re my inspiration.”

Lifting my fluted glass full of champagne, I called to everyone, “Here’s to fifty years of wedded bliss for Brandt and Sarah, and fifty more after that.”

Everyone drank with me, cheers and applause ringing through the hall behind my toast. My brother rose from his seat to give me a quick, hard man-hug as he said into my ear, “Thanks, bro. You weren’t even as annoying as I thought you’d be.”

“That was for Sarah’s benefit, not yours.” I teasingly jabbed a fist toward his gut and laughed when he flinched away from me.

“Whatever. You’re such a pipsqueak.” He jostled my arm and grinned as he stepped back because his wife had swiveled her wheelchair around to face me.

When Sarah held up her arms for her own hug, I knelt down to give her a warm embrace.

“Thank you, Colton. That was lovely.”

“Anything for you, beautiful. You make him happier than you can imagine.” I kissed her cheek one more time and then handed the mic over to Reese, the matron of honor who wanted to give her own toast.

As she spoke, I plopped into my seat next to Brandt, relaxing enough to sling an arm over the back of my chair so I could twist my torso and survey the people sitting nearby on my right. They were all family, even the ones who weren’t blood relatives. They’d helped raise me into the guy I was, and I loved each and every one of them.

A part of me recognized how much I didn’t deserve their affection and support, and that part appreciated every little piece of love they’d ever tossed my way. Yet another part of me was scared shitless, afraid of losing them and eternally certain they’d realize someday they could do so much better, and they’d cut me loose. That part remained an asshat, determined not to show how much he cared about them because everyone knew the moment you let people see what you cared for most, it became your biggest weakness and you were bound to lose it.

When cheers rose and everyone drank, I realized I’d spaced out through Reese’s entire toast. Whoops.

I drank with them anyway and kept guzzling until I drained my glass. Noel had said this one glass was the only alcohol I was allowed tonight, but...yeah right.

Glancing around to make sure no one saw I was empty, I rose to my feet and started toward the waiter nearest me who still had a tray full of untouched champagne. Chin-bobbing and calling out a greeting to people I passed to blend in, I reached the guy in seconds and exchanged my glass for a new one smoothly, without anyone noticing.

Just as I took my first sip of the new bubbly, Remy—one of my non-related family members—passed with another chick.

“Loved your toast,” the chick said with a provocative grin as she trailed her hand up the center of my chest, with the longest, reddest fingernails I’d ever seen. “Damn, you’re a cutie.” Then she winked and kept walking past, her short, tight sparkly gold dress shifting snugly over lush hips and a tiny waist with every step she took.

Without taking my gaze off her, I grabbed Remy’s arm, stalling her at my side. “Who was that?”

“That was Carmen. She’s my cousin.” When my eyebrows lifted with interest, Remy patted my cheek and cooed, “Oh, honey. Don’t even bother. She’s twenty-six.”

An eight-year difference. Meh, that wasn’t a deal breaker for me. Tipping my head to the side to check out the lovely curved backside of twenty-six-year-old Carmen, I said, “I have no issues with experience because she seemed into me. Didn’t she seem into me?”

Oh yeah, she had definitely seemed into me.

Remy’s voice was dry when she answered, “Carmen’s into anything with a penis.”

Grinning, I finally turned my attention to her. “Well, what do you know, I happen to have one of those.”

“Eww.” She wrinkled her nose and immediately backed away from me. “I don’t want to hear about your icky boy parts.” Then she patted my arm with a maternal sigh. “Just...don’t say I didn’t warn you because she can be a man-eater.”

As she started away to catch up with her cousin, I called after her, “Screw careful. She can snack on me anytime she likes.”

She pointed back at me. “Behave, young man.”

Ha! As if. This was a wedding, the prime opportunity to hook up with lonely women seeking a little TLC. And I was just the type of guy to help them realize it was perfectly okay to be single and unattached.

Behaving was the last thought on my mind. In fact, I needed a little misbehavior tonight to help take the edge off more than I wanted to admit. Things at home had been getting a little too intense lately. Temporary escape was crucial.

“Hey, that’s not a new glass of champagne, is it?”

I paused from the sip I was about to take to send Brandt an innocent glance as he strolled toward me, one hand in his pocket, the other holding his own glass. “Of course not.”

He didn’t even pretend to believe me. “Just don’t let Noel catch you. You know what a tight ass he’s been lately.”

I nodded and took another drink. Yeah, did I know. Our oldest brother had plenty of reasons to be losing his shit, but damn, I was beyond ready for his asshole to loosen again so that stick could fall out of it.

“I live with him,” I said dryly. “You don’t have to remind me.”

Brandt shifted closer, his gaze clouding with worry. “Aspen’s still not getting any better, is she?”

Bothering him with doom and gloom on his wedding day wasn’t what I wanted, but there was really no way to sugarcoat it. So I shook my head miserably, finished my glass, and then stole his, switching him out with my empty.

He didn’t seem to mind. If anything, he only looked more concerned as he watched me gulp from his champagne. “Has he taken her back to the doctor?”

Opening my mouth, I planned to tell him I didn’t want to talk about it. Tonight was for celebrating and merrymaking. We could go back to worrying about our sister-in-law in the morning. For one evening, I just wanted to forget about that shit. Aspen’s problems weren’t going anywhere; they’d still be there tomorrow.

But before I could try to distract him, Asher—Remy’s husband—joined us. “Man.” He bumped his elbow into Brandt’s. “Juli can’t stop staring at you tonight.”

“Juli?” That name perked me to immediate attention. “Julianna’s here?”

I followed Asher’s gaze to a dimly lit table in the back corner that bordered the dance floor. It was empty save for one individual, one of the loveliest individuals to grace the planet.

I have no clue how she did it, but Julianna Radcliffe always managed to look equal parts disdainfully untouchable and wet-dream sexy.

Tonight, her dress was pure sin. She wore a long, strapless light gray number that had a front slit, exposing a perfectly toned leg most the way up her thigh and a bustier top that hugged proud, ample breasts. The paleness of her dress made the tone of her skin appear even darker than usual, which made my stomach knot with tension because I yearned to investigate all that dark, dark skin, see how it felt under my hands, how it tasted against my tongue, how it trembled when I stroked it.

Yet I knew without a shadow of a doubt there was no way that would ever happen because that lady right there was a ball-breaker. You could tell it by the straight-backed, poised way she held herself as if she might as well be behind a boardroom table, doling out punishments to her inferior subordinates, and by the way she had no tolerance for stupidity or players. I swear, her stare alone could shrivel a guy’s family jewels to impotent nothingness. I usually had the itching urge to cover my junk whenever I talked to her.

And yet she was an irresistible challenge to idiots like me. Not just because she was model-worthy stunning, which she was. Nothing on her was ever out of place. But because her flawlessness always struck me with the urge to mess her up…in the best ways possible. I felt the need to be the exception to the rule, the one who got past her defenses and scaled that impossible mountain of poise and perfection.

“Fuck,” Brandt groaned.

I glanced at him, forcing my brain back to the problem at hand, that being Julianna and her inability to take her eyes off my newly married brother.

“Hasn’t it been months since you and she were over?” I asked, confused.

He sent me a sharp glance. “Over? We never started. There’s nothing to be over. Juli and I didn’t even finish the one date we went on.”

Asher sniffed. “Well, it looks as if she’s still willing to finish it.”

“Dammit.” Brandt glanced toward his wife. “I hope Sarah doesn’t see her watching me. I don’t want anything upsetting her on our wedding day.”

Asher shook his head. “So, why’d you even invite Juli?”

“I work with her.” Brandt moodily tugged at the collar of his tux.

It seemed odd to me that someone so classically beautiful worked in a nightclub as a bartender. To me, Julianna clearly belonged on a runway, displaying the latest fashion, or—

“It would’ve been strange to invite everyone else from the club and leave her out. Besides, we’re still friends. She’s probably my favorite coworker.”

“Hey,” Asher muttered, offended since he occasionally bartended at the Forbidden Nightclub with Brandt too.

Brandt rolled his eyes. “You don’t count.”

But that only seemed to confuse Asher more. “Why don’t I count?”

Ignoring him, Brandt brought his hand up to his mouth so he could chew on his thumbnail. “We need to distract her somehow. Someone needs to...” Trailing off, he turned slowly toward me, and the intent in his gaze was pretty damn clear.

I paused mid-sip. “Wait, what? You can’t possibly want me to distract her?”

“You’re the one who’s always flirting with her,” he hissed.

“Because she hates it,” I muttered right back. “It’s fun to piss her off and watch her blood pressure boil.” And seriously, it was. Knowing I could make such a flawlessly controlled woman like her come unhinged was an adrenaline rush every time.

On any other night, I would’ve loved nothing better than to go bug her and watch her lose her shit. I always felt the need to flirt and smile at her every chance I got. But the truth was I don’t think anyone had ever hated my personable, charming personality or adorable grin as much as she did. And tonight was not a good night for me to take on that kind of abuse. I needed a pick-me-up, so I had other plans, like hot wedding hookups and complete, drunken misbehavior.

Babysitting my brother’s not-even-ex was not on the agenda.

Brandt didn’t seem to care. “Then go piss her off like you do. Just...anything to keep her attention away from me. Shit, I thought she was over me. She said that ship had sailed. Doesn’t that mean the woman’s lost interest?”

I rolled my eyes. “No, you moron. It means she’s trying to save face and make you think she’s lost interest because she knows you already have. Jesus, it’s like you don’t understand women at all.”

“Shut up, asshole.” He smacked me on the back of the head. “I understand Sarah, and that’s all I need to understand. Now go over there and make Juli forget I even exist.”

I glanced longingly at the opposite side of the room. “But I was going to try to hook up with Remy’s cousin Carmen tonight.”

“What the fuck ever. You don’t stand a chance with Carmen. Go talk to Juli.”

“And you think I have a chance with Juli?” I snorted.

When pigs flew. If she were a five-star restaurant, then I would’ve been that questionable hot dog stand out back, manned by the greasy dude with sweaty armpits.

“Dude.” Asher shook his head. “You don’t have a chance with either.”

This time it was my turn to say the affronted, “Hey.”

Yes, I was offended, even if it was true.

Brandt sighed. “You’re not trying to score with Juli, dipshit. You’re just keeping her company so she’ll stop staring at me.” When I wrinkled my nose at such a task, my brother grabbed me by the lapels of my jacket and jerked me right up into his face. “Do you want your new sister-in-law starting her marriage with any kind of self-doubt, especially when there is no reason for her to have any?”

Groaning at his over-dramatization, I rolled my eyes. “Sarah knows better.”

“Yes, she does. But I still don’t want to take a chance of anything upsetting her. Anything, got it? Now get your ass over there.” He let me go hard enough that I tripped away from him in Julianna’s direction. I had been going to go, anyway, but then he added, “You owe me.”

Well, shit.

I gulped and nodded before lowering my gaze.

“Fine. All right, I’m going.” I backed away from him, my hands held up in surrender.

I owed Brandt a hell of a lot more than distracting a pretty girl for him. But when I turned away to stalk toward Juli, I paused, nauseous from the whole you-owe-me thing.

I thought he was over that. He’d said he was over it. He’d even asked me to be his best man to prove it was water under the bridge. It still haunted me, yeah, but at least I’d been comforted by the knowledge he was past it.

Except how could he be past it if he was bringing it up now?

Damn, he wasn’t over shit.

Gulping, I glanced blindly around the reception hall at all the family and friends I knew so well. Since moving to this town when I was eight, I’d made a home here. It was my place of comfort and support, my safe haven. Yet as my gaze shifted over the familiar faces, I couldn’t help but wonder what they really thought of me now that they knew, which I’m sure most of them did. Nothing stayed secret long in our group.

I wanted to slink away somewhere quiet and lick my wounds, but a dance song thing started, and the crowd cheered when Brandt led Sarah to the edge of the dance floor so he could dance for her. Watching him, I remembered my mission and reluctantly returned my attention to Julianna.

I could hide my own misery behind my flirty smile and carefree attitude. It was what I did, what I excelled at. So it was what I’d do now too. Brandt needed me here, with her, so this was where I’d stay.

Julianna was watching him again, smiling in the saddest way as if she loved what she saw and yet it hurt her to keep looking at it. Misery etched every inch of her features. The rigid set of her shoulders didn’t even appear as poised and polished as they usually did. It was as if she was trying too hard, straining at the seams and about to burst any second.

With a sigh, I shook my head. Poor girl. I actually felt bad for her. She was a hot mess, and she didn’t even know it.

She really did need me to save her.

This was just too painful to even allow to continue. She should escape this reception before her bruised and tender feelings started bleeding out her pores. And since I didn’t know anyone else who could annoy her and send her running off in a huff faster than I could, I was just the guy for her.

It’d be like a mercy killing, really.

Okay, so wedding hookups and misbehaving was clearly off the schedule for tonight. It was time to be charming for an entirely different reason.

Cracking my neck one way, then the other, I rolled my shoulders in preparation as I strolled Julianna’s way. “You better be ready for me, baby doll,” I murmured because I was about to give her a big ol’ dose of Colton Gamble to the extreme.

JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 2

I shouldn’t be here.

I had been telling myself variations of that very sentiment all day, starting with I shouldn’t go as I’d dressed for the wedding all the way to What the hell am I doing? as I’d entered the church. And here I was now, still filled with a torturous regret as I sat alone at a round table during the reception and watched a bunch of white people trying to dance to the “Cha Cha Slide.”

That was just plain painful all by itself.

Except for the groom. He looked adorable attempting to perfect the Charlie Brown. I could tell he was only on the dance floor to entertain his bride, who sat in her wheelchair a few feet in front of him and covered her mouth with her hands as tears streamed down her cheeks from laughing so hard.

A reluctant smile tugged at my own lips. Yeah, he was pretty damn cute with the way he so enthusiastically got into the song, shaking his ass at her. And that tux fit him like sin on an ice cream cone. Made a girl just want to lick—

Not that I’d ever licked that.

I was probably the only woman in attendance—aside from the bride herself—who’d gone on a date with him, though. Well, half a date. It had been kind of interrupted by, what do you know, the bride herself, and we’d never gotten a redo before he realized where his heart truly lay.

I didn’t blame the new Mrs. Gamble for ruining my date and crushing what might’ve been a grand, passionate romance. Not really.

But being passed over for someone else had been a bitter pill to swallow because I had liked Brandt Gamble. I’d liked him a lot, like enough to maybe even break my five-date rule of going all the way if that first one had ever made it to completion. Yet I’d never even gotten a kiss from him. I bet he was a good kisser too. His lips looked like the soft kind that made your toes curl as soon as they were within a foot of you.

He was damn-near perfect all the way around. Gorgeous, good humored, kind, compassionate, easy to talk to, and just rough enough around the edges to be a wholly and appealingly, hard-working guy.

Glancing away as the song ended and he swept forward to press his soft-looking lips against his wife’s, I cleared my throat, feeling vile for even thinking what I was thinking.

Who in their right mind attended a wedding to watch their old crush marry someone else?

Me, apparently.

I was such an idiot. I should just grab my purse, get up and leave already. I was better than this. If I put my heart into it, I could probably get any man I wanted. I didn’t need to mope over some unavailable—

Across the table from me, a guy in a tux slumped into a seat in a sloppy, drunken manner, saying, “Hey, sexy.”

I jerked my gaze up to the man’s face only to groan.

Not a man. Just a boy. Just a cocky, way-too-attractive for his mere eighteen years, boy.

The best man, aka Brandt’s annoying little brother, wiggled his eyebrows amorously. “You look good enough to have for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And that slit in your skirt, running halfway up your thigh...mmm, baby doll, that’s been driving me crazy all night.”

God, strike me dead now. If there was anything worse than watching the guy you were pining after marry another woman, it had to be spending any time in the company of Colton Gamble.

“Why...?” I demanded, glaring enough that hopefully he’d get the hint and behave for once in his life. “Couldn’t you have just been decent for once in your life, dropped all that annoying shit, and merely said I looked nice?”

“Nice?” He snorted, his brown eyes sparkling with delight. “The bride looks nice. My sisters and little nieces look nice. You...no, you don’t look nice. You look fucking delicious.”

Against my will, heat coiled in my stomach. That’s what I hated most about Colton. His pesky annoyances I could handle and swat aside without another thought. It was the way his stare could make my thighs quiver and breasts go all heavy that made me boil and stew.

He was the complete antithesis of his brother. Where Brandt was humble about his appearance, Colton knew how hot he was and liked to play it up. Brandt seemed to work for everything he had while Colton had a laziness about him as if he just sat back and let the world come to him. His personality was so loud and domineering, I wasn’t sure what was important to him, except maybe himself, while Brandt wore his feelings for others right there on his sleeve for the world to see. Brandt’s presence was soothing and put me at ease. He was a nice, safe guy to crush on. Being near Colton always made everything inside me twist and tighten with...I don’t even know. Annoyance? Dread? Awareness? Excitement?

Whatever it was, I hated it. And worse yet, I swear, he knew how much he affected me. His grin always bore that smug, arrogant smirk, as if he could read every dirty thought in my head. I hated that too...almost as much as I hated him.

Okay, maybe I didn’t hate him per se—I didn’t even really know him—but I could definitely do without all that freaking mess he caused inside me. Messes were just...messy. And I did hate messes. I was the kind of girl who thrived off order and control. It only took one glance at Colton to know those things did not exist in his wheelhouse.

Propping his elbows onto the table, he rested his chin in one hand as he regarded me thoughtfully. “You looked lonely sitting over here all by your sexy self. I decided I just couldn’t allow that.”

I ignored how sweet it was that he’d been concerned about my well-being at all, and I sent him a dismissive glance. “I’m fine.”

He lifted an eyebrow, spearing me with an intense stare that made me squirm inside as if I could feel him poking through all my innermost thoughts. “Are you?”

Drawing in a breath, I tore my gaze from him and scanned the room, needing something else to focus on. When I spotted Brandt leading his bride toward the cake and punch, I blinked rapidly.

No. No, I wasn’t fine. Not at all. I was a freaking lonely mess inside, and I hated that too.

Messy, messy Juli. We couldn’t have that.

Across the table, Colton leaned toward me. “Tell me something, Julianna. What’re you doing here?”

His question made me squint. Veering my attention back to him, I shook my head, confused. “What do you mean? This is where my place card was.” I lifted my card to show him the name Julianna Radcliffe printed neatly on the folded piece of cardstock. “Where else would I sit?”

But he shook his head. “No. Not at this table, here. What are you doing at this wedding, here?”

My lips parted. Feeling suddenly unwelcome and small, I narrowed my eyes at the source of this crappy feeling. “I was invited,” I bit back.

Colton sighed and glanced momentarily toward the ceiling before meeting my gaze and murmuring, “Didn’t mean you had to come.”

“What?” Back straightening and chin lifting, I said, “Do you have some kind of problem with me, Little Gamble?”

He laughed. The bastard was half a second from making me cry and slink away from this stupid reception with my tail tucked between my legs, and he had the audacity to laugh in my face. Jerk. I should claw his motherfucking eyes out. And all this time, I’d thought he liked me when he flirted mercilessly. Every time he saw me, in fact, he made some comment about wanting to get into my pants.

Knowing he didn’t want me here made me feel betrayed by all his previous false acts of seduction. It made me feel as if no one wanted me, anywhere.

As if no one would ever want me.

But then he said, “Hell no, I don’t have a problem with you.”

Confused, I frowned.

Colton only smiled and tipped his head to the side. “What? Have I not made that clear enough every single second I’ve ever spent in your company? Because, you know, I could try harder.”

“Dear God, no!” Against my will, my body settled with relief to learn he didn’t dislike me after all, except the relief pissed me off, because I didn’t want to care what he thought of me. “Then what the fuck is your deal?” I demanded, cursing myself because I cared a hell of a lot more than I wanted to.

I didn’t want to like him; it drove me crazy that once I realized he was in a room he was the only thing I could focus on or think about. It’s like the bastard stole my attention against my will, and I hated that. But I couldn’t seem to stop it.

“I don’t have a deal,” he answered flippantly, making me rumble out my aggravation. “I’m just curious why you decided to torture yourself and attend this wedding only to watch the guy you’re crazy about marry someone else.”

I froze.

Praying he hadn’t just said what I knew he’d just said, I slid my gaze toward Brandt, only to guiltily slice it right back to Colton, who lifted his eyebrows and waited for my answer like a smug know-it-all.

So I took a long, slow drink from my champagne glass, nearly draining it, and then I set it back on the table before returning my attention to him.

Affecting an amused laugh, I asked, “What makes you think I’m crazy about Brandt?”

Colton laughed too, like threw back his head and bellowed the sound, making people at other tables glance our way. I ground my teeth, trying not to sink through the floor from mortification as he slowly settled down enough to say, “Not have feelings for Brandt? Good one.” Wiping a tear from his eye, he flicked it from his fingers. “Damn, that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all night. But seriously, you don’t have to play dumb with me. I know you like him. I watched you stare at him for a good ten minutes straight before I came over here to rescue you.”

“I was not—” Oh, shit. I had been staring, hadn’t I? “He’s one of the only people here I know,” I bit out defensively. “And he’s the groom. Who was I supposed to watch?”

Colton grinned. “You could watch me.”

“Oh, Jesus. Really?” I rolled my eyes and reached for my purse from the middle of the table to leave. It was humiliating enough to get caught staring, but Colton’s pathetic flirting on top of that made my night complete. This evening was just too sucky to continue.

“Hey, wait.” Colton flashed forward, snatching my purse before I could get my hand on it.

I glowered. “Dammit, Colton. Give me my purse back.”

He didn’t. Grinning, he clutched it to his chest before holding up a finger. “Just give me a second here. I have an idea. What if I knew how to help you get over him?”

His words caused half a second of pause because of the enchanting temptation they roused. I would love nothing else in the world than to stop wondering what-if every time I was around Brandt.

Sitting back, I crossed my arms over my chest, acting as if I didn’t care and was just playing along to recover my possessions. “Oh, really? And how do you suggest I do that?”

With a shrug, he said, “Same way any woman gets over a guy she likes. By settling for some other lucky schmuck to get your mind off him, of course.” Grinning, he lifted his hand. “In fact, I volunteer as consolation prize.”

JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 3

I couldn’t help myself. My mind went there. It took a good three-second vacation to envision what being with Colton Gamble might be like—which, embarrassingly, wasn’t the first time I’d wondered it either. And I had to admit, there was no way tangling with him could ever be boring or staid. The guy had a way of making me catch my breath just by looking at me as if he knew things… hot, kinky, exciting things, scrumptious things I hadn’t experienced in a long time, or maybe even ever.

He had never laid a hand on me, but I already knew if I let him, those hands would be everywhere. They looked like naughty, mischievous hands, all long and slim-fingered, or like a magician’s hands that did all kinds of flashy, interesting things right before your eyes and then snuck up and surprised you with the real trick without you even being aware of it, until bam, orgasm central.

My body kind of suddenly wanted those hands to pull a rabbit out of my hat.

Which made me blink with guilt and squeeze my thighs together inconspicuously as I glared at him. But seriously, why would he do this to me? He probably hadn’t even been seriously propositioning me, and here I was, tingling and throbbing over the mere suggestions he’d put into my head.

The jerk.

I’m not sure why I’d actually thought he might’ve had some kind of legitimate plan to help me get over my silly crush on his brother, either. I should’ve known he’d only been trying to segue into another one of his stupid, empty pickup lines.

“Give me back my purse, you idiot.”

When I held out my hand, he sighed and surprisingly handed it over without any resistance, which disappointed me as much as it shocked me. Wait, I hadn’t said disappointed, had I? I didn’t mean disappointed.

And yet, I kind of did.

“Is it the forbidden thing?” he asked as I clutched my purse to my chest, singularly aware of the warmth secreting from it where his hand had been holding it.

I’d planned on storming away and leaving for good, but his question made me waver. “Excuse me?”

“The fact that he’s unavailable.” Colton rolled his hand to explain himself. “You’re not one of those women who only wants a guy once he’s already taken, are you?”

“What?” My mouth fell open, unable to believe he’d ask me that. It stung that he’d even think of me that way. “Good God, no.”

“Because, you know,” he went on conversationally as if I hadn’t spoken. “It would make sense why you’ve never wanted me. Maybe I made myself too available.”

Never wanted him? Humph. I almost laughed in his face over that one.

But hell, if he wasn’t aware I’d had all kinds of dirty thoughts about him, then…yeah, I was going to keep it that way. Who knew how big his head would grow if he suspected what kind of sexy, forbidden daydreams I’d really had.

Thinking of him that way had always made me feel like a guilty piece of slime, though, as if I was cheating on my old feelings for his brother when I’d had those thoughts, which had to be really fucking messed up.

But in all seriousness, if a person were to put Colton’s sex appeal into Brandt’s personality, my ovaries probably would’ve exploded months ago.

When I noticed Colton was watching me as if waiting for a response, I realized, shit, my mind had just wandered to places it should never go.

I cleared my throat. “Uh…no. Sorry to burst your bubble, but I’m not like that. And honestly, if anything, you’re probably five times more forbidden than your brother, anyway.”

“Really?” Eyes sparking with interest, he leaned closer. “That sounds exciting. Why am I forbidden?”

Damn, why had I told him that? And why did I feel the urge to explain it? I knew I was going to regret getting into this discussion, but I just couldn’t help myself. The boy dragged out the arguer in me. It was as if he knew I loved a good debate.

“Well, first of all, you’re underage.”

“Wrong.” He made a game-show buzzer sound before grinning. “But you already know I’m legal now.”

“The hell if you are. You can’t drink alcohol until you’re twenty-one, buddy.”

“But I’m adult enough to vote, go to war, and have all the consensual sex I want, which is what really counts.”

Yes, I definitely knew he was eighteen. He’d given me a countdown every time he’d visited the bar where I worked. And then, on the very day he turned, he’d invited me to his big birthday bash, assuring me he’d make it “worth my while” if I showed up, which I didn’t do.

“You’re still four years younger than me, honey.” Or nearly four years, which was just too young for me. He was just beginning the crazy, drunken college era; I was ready to be over it and settle down. Our maturity levels had to be polar opposites.

“Damn.” He shivered and set his hand over his heart. “I like it when you call me honey. Makes all the short hairs in my undies tingle.”

See, right there. Point taken. That was exactly the kind of sophomoric comment to turn me off. Usually. Except, dammit, when he said it, it roused an internal shiver through me.

To his face, however, I frowned. “If you really think such disgusting comments impress me, you’re wrong.”

He shrugged. “Or maybe you really like my disgusting comments but don’t want to admit how much, so you say it’s lame to camouflage your true appreciation…for my comments.”

Damn, he was good.

But I shook my head anyway. “You are so delusional.”

“Definitely.” He winked. “What else you got?”

“What do you mean, what else do I got?” Did he actually want me to call him more nasty names?

“My forbidden status.” He snapped his fingers, encouraging me back on track. “You said first of all with the age thing, leading me to believe there was more than one aspect making me so illicit and exciting. So what else you got, baby doll? Lay it on me, thick and heavy, or you know, just lay yourself on me.”

I sent him a dry stare, even though inside, I shivered, feeling the word baby doll make parts of my own anatomy tingle, which totally unnerved me. Coming from any other jackass’s mouth, baby doll would piss me off. I mean, what a stupid nickname, right? But coming so playfully from Colton, it sounded, I don’t know, scintillating.

And lay yourself on me? Really? That should be a weak, pathetic, laughable come-on. But all I could imagine was crawling on top of him, buck-ass naked and laying it on him…thick and heavy.

And that felt wrong. So, so wrong.

So I glanced away and bit my lip, unable to tell him to stop misbehaving, because I knew he’d just keep going, probably stronger than ever, if he knew how much it got to me.

Except I couldn’t tell him the biggest reason why I found him forbidden, either.

I knew interracial couples weren’t such a big deal in the grand scheme of things anymore, but where I’d grown up, each group had basically stuck with its own kind. My friends would tease me mercilessly; I’d probably be too embarrassed to ever introduce him to them. And besides, with the dad I had, well...let’s just say I wasn’t sure how he’d take it if I ever brought home a white boy.

Then there was the fact I’d straight up been told once, “I don’t date black girls,” by a guy I hadn’t even thought I’d been flirting with, which had made me feel about as worthless as pond scum. But it had also gotten me curious to know what had made that prick so damn special that I wasn’t good enough for him or his kind. It also made me want to show him, to find some white guy who thought I was all that and shove him in that dick’s face, prove I was worthy of anyone I wanted.

Crazily enough, I had never actively pursued a white guy, though, not until I’d met Brandt, but that’d had nothing to do with kinds or colors and everything to do with how utterly perfect he’d been. Besides, somewhere deep inside, I think I’d always known he and I would never really go anywhere. He’d been more of a pipe dream because he pretty much possessed every quality of my ideal dream man: handsome, kind, likable, not full of himself, hard-working, and honest. So I’d had to try for him, of course, but I’d also been aware from the very beginning he was too good to be true.

Thinking about Brandt, though, I glanced at Colton. “I’ve dated your brother. You and I hooking up after that would just be...weird...all the way around.”

“Half a date,” Colton tossed back with a swish of his hand. “Doesn’t count.”

“Whatever,” I argued. I had been the one to ask Brandt out, to start the flirting, to visualize a relationship and daydream about doing dirty, naughty things with him. Turning to his brother after that would be beyond strange, and really awkwardly depraved.

Wouldn’t it?

I already felt guilty enough for even thinking about Colton the way I did, so yes…yes, it would be wrong.

“Did you fuck him?” Colton asked.

I choked on air before gasping, “After half a date? Yeah, I don’t think so.” What the hell kind of girl did he think I was?

Colton kept going. “Swap spit with him?”

I blinked. “Swap what?”

“Kiss? Did your mouth or tongue go anywhere near his mouth or tongue?”

Sighing heavily, I answered, “Of course not.”

Colton’s shoulders relaxed. Made me wonder if he was actually relieved by my answers. But then his smarmy little care-about-nothing-but-himself grin returned. “Well, then...we’re good. Next forbidden issue?”

Crossing my arms over my chest, I wasn’t exactly ready to put this issue to bed yet. “What about the fact you’re so sure I’m in love with him? That doesn’t bother you at all? You wouldn’t worry I was thinking about him while I was with you?”

“Oh, baby doll,” he murmured, his eyes glazing with sudden heat. “All you’d need is one taste of me and you’d forget about big brother completely.”

I drew in a sharp breath, determined to mask how hot his self-assurance made my hormones.

With a disbelieving snort, I pointed. “See, that right there. That cocksure attitude is reason number one why you turn me off. I don’t appreciate it.” Or more accurately, I didn’t appreciate how much I did appreciate it or how scattered and messy it made my emotions.

He lifted an eyebrow. “You don’t like confidence in a guy? Odd, because Brandt’s not exactly insecure, yet you like him.”

I ground my teeth. “Well, Brandt doesn’t act like he’s God’s gift to women. Nor does he strut around, preening as if the entire universe owes him something and should idolize him. He doesn’t try to act like anyone but himself, and that’s why he’s so amazing.”

When I realized I’d once again admitted my feelings for Brandt aloud, I snapped my mouth shut and glared at Colton. But the contemplative way he watched me caught me off guard.

Tipping his head to the side, he asked, “Is that how you see me? As some kind of annoying peacock with an overinflated ego and no depth?”

The question seemed so sincere and solemn as if my response actually meant something to him.

My mouth opened, but no words came. I could only blink, worried I’d hurt his feelings.

That was the thing about Colton; I hadn’t thought he could be hurt or that he’d care what anyone thought. I had just assumed he’d be so full of himself he wouldn’t believe or take to heart any insult slung his way. But the fact that he’d listened to every word I’d said and seemed to mull my thoughts over made me suddenly very uneasy. I wasn’t the type to go around intentionally and unnecessarily hurting people’s feelings. They had to deserve it first.

“I...I...” Reaching for one of my earrings and tugging self-consciously, I tried to come up with something nice to dull the insult I’d just spewed, but my mind went totally blank.

I felt like crap.

“And as for the God’s gift to women part,” Colton said before I could fumble out anymore inarticulate sounds. “I wasn’t shooting quite that high. I just wanted to be God’s gift to you.”

“Oh, Jesus.” My shoulders fell. Had he merely been playing me this whole time, trying to make me feel bad for making him feel bad? Now I wanted to strangle him all over again. “You are so freaking annoying.”

He only shrugged, his eyes glittering mischievously as his grin grew slowly. “God must’ve thought annoying was what you needed most.”

“I don’t think God would wish your kind of annoying on anyone.”

“Hmm. Maybe. I bet he knew you’d get just as big a thrill out of disagreeing with me as I do from disagreeing with you, though.”

I sucked in a breath and my skin crackled with awareness. I didn’t want to know he got a thrill out of bantering with me. And I certainly didn’t want him knowing I liked it too, or that everything inside me felt so very alive right now.

Scowling as hard as I could to hide the rush flowing through my veins, I muttered, “I do not like disagreeing with you.”

“She says as her skin flushes and eyes sparkle with vitality as she…disagrees with me yet again,” he murmured theatrically.

I huffed and scowled for real this time. “Well…try to say something decent and maybe I’ll agree with it.”

“Okay, fine. I like your earrings.”

“Oh…shut up.” Realizing I was still playing with them, I dropped my hand.

But seriously, why the hell had he mentioned my earrings of all things? I’d worn them because they were my very own mini security blankets in disguise. I hadn’t meant to bring attention to them. Wishing he’d have commented on any other piece of jewelry I wore—pearl hair clip, butterfly necklace, bangle bracelets, anklet, toe ring, thumb ring, anything—I cleared my throat and finished my glass of champagne, only to become a little panicked because I’d run out.

“Here, take mine.” Colton extended a fluted glass across the table, nearly full of the bubbly stuff.

I stared at it a moment before taking it hesitantly—hey, he was underage, it wasn’t as if he needed it—and then I gulped down his glass too.

He watched me with a pleased glint in his gaze before murmuring, “So, about those earrings...?”

I cleared my throat and glanced away. I didn’t realize I’d started to play with them again until I said, “What about them?” and quickly dropped my hand.

“They’re dream catchers.”

I arched him a dry glance. “Wow, you’re quick.”

Grinning, he said, “I am. Do you have some Native American ancestry in you?”

“Nope,” I answered in a bored voice, keeping my attention on the dance floor.

“Then why dream catchers?”

I veered my gaze back to him. “Because they’re my thing. Is that all right with you?”

He grinned. “Perfectly all right. Did you used to have bad dreams?”

I blinked, not expecting him to ask me that. People usually just assumed I thought they were neat and left it at that. But the way he was looking at me, as if he really wanted to know, made me mumble, “Yeah, when I was little.”

I clamped my lips shut and swallowed.

Why had I just told him that?

He kept watching me, his gaze doing that intense crawling-into-my-head thing again. “What did you dream about?”

The hushed, intense question made me shiver.

I began to play with my dream catcher earring again. “Nothing.”

“Oh, come on, baby doll.” He leaned in across the table and flashed his cajoling grin that had probably won him whatever he wanted in the past. “You can tell me.”

As my mouth opened to confess all, I realized something. Colton Gamble was nothing but a facade. He wasn’t the lazy, brainless flirt who cared about no one but himself that he appeared to be. The boy was deceptive, calculating and canny, hiding under a layer of shallow whimsy to learn about his prey. He craftily used his intel to build his web without anyone even being aware of it, and then bam, he pounced.

Almost feeling the silken, deadly strands of his trap tightening around me, I tried desperately to think up a way to escape. After clearing my throat, I evasively answered, “It doesn’t matter.”

“Which means it matters a lot,” Colton murmured intuitively.

I gulped, afraid he’d pick at it more. But he appeared to be lost in his own head a moment before he opened his mouth and took a breath as if he had something deep to say. When no words came, I tilted my head to let him know I was ready to hear it.

Except he closed his mouth, took another breath—through his nose this time because his nostrils flared—and then he asked, “Do you want to dance?”

I pulled back in surprise, totally unprepared for such a turn in the conversation. My gaze strayed to the right where other people were laughing and lumbering around on the dance floor.

The emcee was playing “The Cupid Shuffle,” and if I knew more than a handful of people in attendance, I probably would’ve been out there with my girls, getting down to the beat that very second. But my friends weren’t here, and I didn’t feel nearly comfortable enough to go anywhere near the dance floor.

So I said, “No.”

“What? You don’t like to dance?”

“I just don’t want to dance with you.” There. Nothing made a person back off quicker than a little bit of rude. And I could wield rude as if it were a deadly weapon if I did say so myself. I found it was the most direct, effective defense when someone threatened to get too close, exactly like the way he was nudging his business right into my emotional space.

But apparently, Colton Gamble was rude-retardant.

“Well, technically, being that this song is one of those group dance things, you’d be dancing beside me, not with me.”

“I don’t want to fucking dance,” I bit out. I needed him to go away so I could regain control over my heartbeat, settle my nerves back to normal, and kill the sudden spike in my hormones. I couldn’t remember feeling this messy inside in a good, long while. If I didn’t watch it, my composure would slip. And for me, that was the end of civilization as I knew it.

Colton, however, either didn’t understand the word no or he just wasn’t capable of giving up. He grinned. “I am so getting you on this dance floor.”

I sniffed. “Yeah, good luck with that.”

“Oh, ye of little faith.” Chuckling, he glanced away and scanned the entire reception hall, and then the dance floor before cupping his hands to his mouth and calling, “Hey, Bo Bo! Come here.”

I glanced in the direction he’d bellowed, bewildered to see a small boy lift his face and race toward us. I frowned, confused, and glanced at Colton, wondering what he was up to.

Once the kid was close enough, Colton snagged him around the waist and in one swoop, picked him up and plopped him onto his lap, making the boy screech with laughter. The way “Bo Bo” grinned and leaned into Colton’s chest let me know the two knew each other well, which made sense since I recognized the boy as the ring bearer from the wedding. I’d read from the wedding pamphlet that his name was Beau Gamble, nephew of the groom, meaning he must be Colton’s nephew too.

Beau was adorable, with Brandt’s hair and blue eyes but Colton’s impish grin.

“Whatcha doing, kiddo?” Colton asked him.

“I’m dancing. Come dance with me, Colt.” He had the most adorable lisp ever. His Colt sounded like Coat.

“Ah, bud, I wish I could.” Colton made a regretful tsking sound as he shook his head. Then he glanced my way, and his eyes glittered with mischief. “But I’ve got to keep this pretty lady here company, unless...you can talk Juli into dancing with us too.”

My eyes bugged with shock, unprepared for just how devious he was.

What was worse, the freaking Chicken Dance started next.

The Chicken Dance.

The whitest freaking dance of all white dances.

“Boy, you must be up out of your mind,” I blurted, beginning to panic.

“But, Juli,” Colton begged. “Don’t you want to dance with us?”

“Yeah, Juli,” an adorable, begging little voice echoed, making me jump because I’d been too busy sending Colton the glare of death. I’d totally missed Beau hopping off his uncle’s lap until he took my hand and stared up at me with the most solemnly begging blue eyes ever. “Please dance with us.”

Oh my God.

How did you say no to a cute kid? No way was I dancing to the freaking Chicken Dance, but Beau Gamble had such big blue eyes, and when they focused on me the way his were focusing on me, no way could I say no.

Shit.

Shit, shit, shitty, shit.

“Uh...s-sure, little man.”

Cheering, Beau tightened his grip on my hand and dragged me from my seat, straight toward the crowd of pathetically awful dancers. Glancing back at his uncle, I hissed, “You are so dead.”

“What?” Colton flashed a fakely innocent grin and then started to flap his arms chicken-style, already dancing with the others. He winked at me before wiggling his hips and bending his knees.

I couldn’t help it; I burst out laughing. He was just so ridiculously cute when he chicken danced. No way could you hate on a person when they were imitating a chicken. Just try it, I dare you, and then you’ll know what I mean.

But dammit, my laugh made his smile stretch wider, encouraging him. A tugging on my hand had me turning back to Beau just as the chorus started. Since Beau was determined to dance with both Colton and me at the same time, he wanted the three of us to hold hands and sway in a circle through the chorus together. I jumped when Colton took my free hand, immediately playing along.

His grip was warm, and male, and oddly comfortable, but it still made my body throb with complete awareness, because I couldn’t stop thinking about all the different things I’d imagined him doing with these very hands. On the other side of me, his nephew’s fingers were small and hot and sticky, yet even that couldn’t detract from all the yummy sensations springing to life inside me.

The three of us twirled to the tune until we had to separate. Beau was having so much fun his enthusiasm was contagious. I could almost forget about how absurd I felt when I watched him clap his thumbs against the rest of his fingers like a chicken beak and then flap his wings. Laughing again, I found myself glancing Colton’s way, only to giggle even harder over how much he was getting into the song too.

“Juli, no. Here, it’s like this,” Beau encouraged when I didn’t dance along. I bit my lip, thinking up every excuse I could to get out of it, but I couldn’t disappoint him, not when he was glowing over how much fun he was having, so...

I chicken danced.

I’m not proud.

But it happened.

And we’ll never speak of it again.

We went through the chorus a second time, and I tried to ignore the way Colton’s hand in mine kept sending shivers up to my elbow. But then I glanced at him and he was watching me with the most amused, affectionate grin. I couldn’t look away. From that point on, the whole thing became a competition between us: who could wiggle lower, flap faster, snap harder.

He definitely knew how to challenge a girl.

I was laughing so hard I didn’t notice Beau had completely deserted us to run off and play with the flower girl until the song ended.

Beyond embarrassed to realize I’d been dancing alone with Colton for a good thirty seconds or more, I started to slink off the floor, cupping my hands to my mouth. But a new song started, making Colton catch my elbow.

“Hey! The Macarena.”

“Oh, hell no!” I laughed and pulled back, except the crazy man wouldn’t let go. “Colton!” I shrieked.

The Macarena was already starting, so I just dragged him away with me, laughing as I went.

“Boy, you’re lucky you got the last song out of me. Besides, after the Chicken Dance, I need alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol. And something a hell of a lot stronger than champagne.”

He grinned and tugged on my fingers, changing directions. “I can help you with that. This way, my lady.”

JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 4

After dancing, my heart was beating a little faster and my skin felt flushed. And I really did need that drink because my mouth was bone dry.

I was relieved that Colton was a resourceful kind of guy. He knew exactly where the open bar was located, and bless him, he took me straight there. Once we each had a plastic cup in hand, he set his free palm on the small of my spine to escort me back to my table, which felt…nice, actually.

But a guy waiting in the back of the line for the bar pointed at us. “Yo, Colton. That’s just pop, right?”

I recognized the man as being a groomsman. There’d been two—the wedding pamphlet had named them Noel Gamble and Oren Tenning. Since this guy looked Brandt-ish, I figured he was Noel, which would make him Colton’s big brother.

Lifting his cup as if in cheers, Colton answered, “Of course.”

I glanced at him, frowning slightly and trying to remember what he’d ordered for himself. Had it only been cola? I wasn’t sure.

“You were drinking champagne earlier,” I suddenly remembered.

He shrugged as he took a sip from his cup. “They let me since I had to make the toast.”

“Oh.” I nodded in understanding. That made sense. As we approached my table, I drank from my own Crown and Coke. “You know, that toast you gave actually didn’t suck.”

With a gasp, he clutched his chest. “Holy shit, is that a compliment? From the Julianna Radcliffe?”

“What?” I sniffed, a little hurt. “I can give a compliment.”

“Yeah. Just not to me.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but damn...was he right? I tried but couldn’t think of a single time I’d complimented him or even said a polite thing in his direction. Damn, how utterly bitchy of me. Feeling crappy about that, I blurted, “Well...the way you tricked me onto the dance floor was evilly genius. Well done there.”

He snickered. “Damn, girl. Slow down. Too much more praise from you and you’ll convince me you’re in love with me or something. I mean, not that I’d blame you, but—”

“Oh, shut up...jerk.” I shoved at his arm only to chase it with a laugh.

When I rolled my eyes, he chuckled too and fell into the chair he’d been sitting in earlier across from me. No one else who’d been assigned to sit at my table was there. In fact, they’d never shown up at all. The only items that had been used at their seats were their champagne glasses, which I’d drank from, one after another, when the server had come around to fill them for the toast: the witty, clever, sweet, endearing toast Colton had given.

When I sat in the seat next to him and not the one I’d been sitting in earlier all the way across the table, he glanced at me pointedly with lifted eyebrows.

I ignored his surprise and watched the dancers as a slow tune started. It wasn’t as if I actually wanted Colton’s company, I tried to convince myself. But he wasn’t acting as if he was going to go away anytime soon, and…well, having someone to talk to—even him—made things suck a little less.

Okay, fine...he was amazing to talk to—entertaining, perceptive, and fuck...that little leap in my pulse every time he looked at me with those hooded, brown bedroom eyes was becoming addictive.

I’m not sure why I didn’t consider leaving. I’d been ready to walk out the door not too long ago. My tush had been out of my seat, my gaze had been locked on the exit, and my purse would’ve been in hand...if he hadn’t stolen it. But here I was now, purse returned, and I was voluntarily sitting by Colton Gamble of all people.

Just how many glasses of champagne had I stolen from my absent table companions?

“So what else do you like about me?” he prompted before taking a long draw from his cup and eyeing me speculatively over the rim.

I watched his throat work as he swallowed, wondering how that strong column of skin would taste if I licked it. Then I jerked my gaze away. “Nothing. You know how to manipulate people into getting what you want, and you give non-sucky speeches. That’s...that’s about it.”

No way would I admit how my thighs had trembled, or my breathing caught, or my mind raced with the most inappropriate thoughts every time he’d ever come into the bar.

“Nah, that can’t be all.” He shook his head before looking me straight in the eye. “What about my big brown eyes? A girl once told me I had penetrating eyes, like I could see straight inside her.”

I ground my teeth, mad at myself for just admiring his eyes. Then I grew mad at that girl for being stupid enough to inflate his ego even more by telling him how awesome they were. And then...then my anger rose toward him for talking to another girl at all, or getting close enough to her that she could see his eyes and compliment them. But at the end of it all, I was only mad at myself for the stupid knee-jerk sensation of jealousy I felt.

I mean, why the hell would I be jealous of another girl for merely talking to him? That was just stupid.

“No,” I said, glancing away from those all-seeing eyes. “I don’t think you have penetrating eyes.”

“Good.” He swiped the back of his hand over his brow in relief. “Because honestly, I’d rather penetrate you with far different parts of my body.” When his tongue came out to wet his bottom lip and he lifted his eyebrows in proposition, I realized that was one of the body parts he was talking about. Suddenly, I could only imagine all the places he’d like to penetrate me with his tongue.

My stomach clenched as if I could already feel the wet glide from his mouth working between my legs.

“Seventeen-year-old boys shouldn’t talk that way,” I said and knew it was a mistake as soon as the words passed my lips. I’d only called him seventeen to remind him how much younger than me he was. But we’d already had this discussion, and he’d already made it clear he didn’t care.

His brown eyes gleamed with awareness, dammit, penetrating my psyche as if he knew my saying that to ward him off meant I was down to my last bag of resistance…which I think I was.

“Thank God I’m not seventeen, then.” His voice was so low and sensual a full-body shiver seized me.

Not sure how to respond without popping out of my chair and racing out the door to escape the capsizing way he affected me, I clutched my cup and accidentally drained the contents in one guzzle.

“Shit,” I croaked when I realized it was empty. Now what was I going to do? I needed something to drink, something to hold in my hand and sip from to help distract myself from thinking things I knew I shouldn’t think.

“I can get you more.” Colton snagged the cup from my hand as he stood. With a wink, he said, “Be right back.”

With a crazy, stirring hitch bubbling in my stomach, I watched him walk away, my gaze unable to tear itself from the back of his slacks and the way they molded oh so perfectly to his ass. When he disappeared out of sight, I kept sitting there, waiting for him to return.

I should’ve left, escaped while I had the chance. But the second he swept back into view, carrying two refilled cups, my blood raced, my breasts tingled, and my breathing went shallow.

This time, I didn’t hate the messy effect his presence had on me. I embraced the awareness and excitement, eager to see where it’d lead. I actually anticipated the next suggestive comment he made. Maybe I wouldn’t act so offended this time. Maybe I’d just be real and appreciate it for once, like I wanted to.

“Here you go, baby doll.” He sat and extended my cup toward me.

“Thank you.” I reached for it just as he pulled it right back out of my reach.

I frowned.

He grinned. “First you have to tell me what you used to have nightmares about.”

I folded my arms over my chest. “Really?” He was going to play it that way, huh? Well, I didn’t have to play at all. “I could go get my own drink, you know.”

“You could,” he allowed with a nod. Then he shrugged. “Okay, we’ll take baby steps. How old were you when your night terrors began?”

I blinked, startled to hear him call them that specific term. It was as if he knew what I’d experienced had been far more traumatic than a couple harmless nightmares as if he understood personally. Which made no sense.

Or did it?

Had he experienced night terrors too?

My mind caught on that little idea, I ended up saying, “Six,” without meaning to.

Colton nodded, taking my answer seriously, which I appreciated. He hadn’t shrugged off my bad dreams as merely a silly little girl frightened of harmless shadows on the wall.

“How old were you when they stopped?”

I tipped my head curiously to the side. “What makes you think they ever stopped?”

With a secretive smile, he reached out and brushed the backs of his fingers over one of my dream catcher earrings. He barely grazed the lobe of my ear in the process, which made my breasts tingle. “These wouldn’t be so important to you if they hadn’t been effective, now would they?”

Damn, he was an insightful shit.

I felt as if he deserved an answer for paying such close attention to me as to pick up on that. “I was nine when they stopped.”

He smiled as if relieved to hear it. “And what were they about again?”

He asked it slyly as if trying to trick the answer out of me without me being aware of what I was revealing.

It made me grin and shake my head. I’d never be able to say Colton Gamble wasn’t wily. “Why is it so important for you to know?”

“Because I have to,” he said as if it was really some kind of necessity, like food or air.

“But why?” I persisted, growing more curious by the second.

“Because...” He shook his head, looking a little lost before his gaze focused on mine, and those brown eyes went über intense. “What if you had night terrors about the same thing I did?”

Well, shit. I caught my breath.

I guess he did understand.

I guess he had suffered from his own nightmares.

I guess... God, I don’t even know what I guessed anymore. I felt kind of shaky to learn I shared such a connection with him. My brain went all jumbled and woozy.

“So?” Colton asked, leaning in as his stare took in every feature of my face. “Were we haunted by the same kind of dreams?”

“I...” I opened my mouth, but only a dry croak emerged. After clearing my throat and licking my parched lips, I managed to say, “I guess that depends. Did your mom die when you were six too?”

He shook his head, and I swear his shoulders fell as if he were relieved. Then he said, “If she had, I doubt I ever would’ve had a problem with nightmares in the first place.”

“That’s terrible,” I blurted, my mind already racing with curiosity, wondering what his mom had done to haunt his dreams.

He shrugged as if it were no big deal. “Yeah, well…so was she.” His gaze focused on my earrings, and his eyes softened with sympathy. “Was your mom a good mom?”

I pulled back, a little shocked he would even ask such a question. “Of course.”

Seriously, what the hell had his mother done to build that kind of distrust for all mothers?

With a nod, he murmured, “Then I’m sorry for your loss. Life can be seriously fucked up and unfair, can’t it? The good mom died, and the awful mom lived. How’s that for ironic injustice?”

“Geez,” I blurted. “You really don’t like your mother at all, do you? Which one is she?” I began to scan the room, focusing my attention on the wedding party’s table where his family had been seated.

But Colton only smiled as if amused. “Oh, she wasn’t invited.”

My eyebrows spiked. Wow, even Brandt wasn’t a fan of her. She must really be a piece of work. “What the hell did she do?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“Nothing good,” he answered. “How did your mom die?”

“Cancer,” I spit out, thinking he’d be more willing to answer my questions if I opened up a little more about my own answers. “When was the last time you saw your mom?”

“About seven months ago. Before that, I was…” He paused to think before answering, “Eight. Did you get to tell your mom goodbye before she died?”

“No, I didn’t. She went crazy delirious at the end. Hallucinated I was the devil come to take her soul to hell. She screamed and threw a vase of flowers at me.” I still had a scar on my forearm where I’d lifted my hands to shield my face. “So I wasn’t allowed in her room the last few days.”

“Holy shit,” Colton wheezed, his eyes growing large. “That had to suck.”

“If your mom left when you were eight,” I started before he could ask me anything else, “who raised you after that? Your dad?”

“Nah.” He shook his head. “No idea who that loser was. Our big brother Noel took guardianship over me and Brandt, and our sister, Caroline.”

“I…I never knew that,” I murmured, blinking wildly as my mind raced. “Wow.”

Brandt had never mentioned how he’d been raised all those times we’d worked together. And here, I thought he and I had been through a couple in-depth conversations. He’d opened up to me about his feelings for Sarah in a way that no guy had ever opened up to me. That was one reason why my crush on him had lingered all these months. I thought I’d seen an integral, intimate part of him.

But he hadn’t really shared himself with me at all, had he?

That was a sobering wake-up call.

“Who raised you?” Colton asked, making me veer my attention back to him and blink myself to the present.

“Oh, uh...” I shook my head. “My dad did.”

“He a good dad?”

Again, it was startling to even be asked such a question. I nodded slowly. “Yes.”

So he nodded too. “Good.”

I wanted to change the subject. I wasn’t sure why. But talking about this made me feel vulnerable. Or something. And it definitely made me feel softer toward Colton, which seemed as if it should be wrong in itself, though it didn’t feel wrong at all. It felt nice and warm and…that should be wrong. Right? I wasn’t supposed to feel good things for Colton Gamble, though for the life of me I couldn’t remember why.

I just knew I needed to stop this.

Change the subject.

Change it to anything.

The first thing that came to mind.

“I have to pee,” I blurted.

Crap, had I announced that out loud?

Colton’s laugh answered my question. “Thanks for telling me.”

Scowling at him, I bolted to my feet, only to sway once I was upright. I reached for my chair to catch my balance. “Stop laughing, jerk, and just tell me where the damn bathroom is.”

“Sure, baby doll. Anything for you. It’s uh...down that hall there, and one of those doors to the right. Or is it the left?” He frowned thoughtfully. “Shit, I can’t remember. I’ll just show you.” He pushed to his feet and took my hand.

His grip was warm and protective, and I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. But I wasn’t about to let go.

Because I liked it.

“Are you sure you know where the bathroom is?” I asked once he led me from the main reception room and into a long quiet corridor.

“Of course. It’s right....” We passed another three doorways before the sign popped up. “Here.” With a flourish of his hand toward the sign, he grinned at me. “Here you go, my lady.”

“Thanks.” I gazed up at him—really, really loving his engaging, cheerful smile—as I backed toward the bathroom door and pushed my way inside with my shoulder.

Once inside the bathroom alone, I pressed my hand to my abdomen and blew out a long breath. Then I hurried into a stall.

After I did my business, I stumbled toward the mirrors and clutched the sides of the sink for balance before I met my own reflection in the glass. I was flushed, my gaze glazed, but most alarming of all, I couldn’t seem to stop smiling. When I realized the source of my uncommonly good mood, I sobered immediately.

Colton.

Brandt’s little brother.

I’d been so absorbed in Colton, pretty much no one else in the entire building had existed for a moment there. But it all came flooding back to me now. Brandt: the reason I was here, the reason Colton should be the last person I was grinning over, and the very reason I needed to leave the entire reception right this second.

But then Colton’s grin floated through my head, and temptation flooded me.

I felt like a giant, indecisive Ping-Pong ball. Thinking about Colton made me feel high, floating above everything wrong between us, where life was great and his smile and laugh were helium, keeping me suspended, until bam, the Ping-Pong ball smacked into the table of reality, reminding me of every reason why grinning over him was bad. Only for, yeah, the stupid ball inside me to float right back up with memories of flirty things he said and the heated way he looked at me, the way he had gotten me to talk about my mom.

Then, crack, my thoughts once again slammed back into the hard facts.

Until Colton had sat at my table tonight, my thoughts had only been about Brandt. And then they’d become only about Colton. It didn’t seem fair to him or right of me to switch my thoughts between brothers like that.

God, I could become one of those girls, one of those stupid, fickle, indecisive bitches who ended up going after two different brothers because she couldn’t seem to decide which one she wanted. And that would be bad. That would be so incredibly bad.

I was not one of those girls.

So I needed to go.

I needed to go right freaking now before I did something emphatically stupid.

Rushing for the door, I pushed my way out of the bathroom, ready to flee down the hall in the opposite direction of the reception, but as soon as I opened the door, I saw him.

He sat on the floor with his back to the wall and his feet spread out in front of him.

His eyes were closed.

Dread clutched my throat.

“Colton?” Rushing forward, I fell to my knees by his side and clutched his arm. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Colton, dammit, answer me!”

COLTON’S CHAPTER | 5

I came awake to the sleeve of my tux jacket trying to shake its way off my arm.

“Colton!” that cool, low yet sophisticated voice I was beginning to really dig said, except the tone was higher than usual, and sounded a little alarmed. It was still an awesome voice, though, and came from one of the sexiest women alive, a woman I decided wasn’t so bad after all.

“Colton, dammit, answer me.”

Actually, I think I liked her.

Grinning lazily over that thought, I opened my eyes slowly only to grin wider when my gaze landed on her.

There she was. Sexy as fuck.

“Hmm?” I asked.

“Oh, thank God, you’re alive,” she breathed, sounding relieved…for half a second. Then she scowled and smacked my arm. “Thanks for scaring the shit out of me, asshole.”

“Ouch.” My grin fell. I rubbed my arm.

Sexy but brutal.

“Why are you sitting on the floor outside the bathroom?” she demanded. “I could find my own way back, you know.”

I glanced around, taking stock of our surroundings. I sat slumped on the corridor floor right outside the bathroom in the reception hall where my brother was having his wedding celebration. Huh. How about that? I must’ve only been out a few minutes.

Meeting Julianna’s gaze, I waved a hand. “Oh, sure. I know.” Then I reclosed my eyes. For some reason, a nap sounded divine.

But Julianna obviously wasn’t feeling the divinity of the moment. “Colton?” She shook my arm again.

I blinked my eyes open, rolled my head to look at her fully. Damn, she was as stunning as usual. But that gray dress, with the slit, and those long, lethal legs that ended in sexy-ass high heels...it was not good for my pure, innocent thoughts I was supposed to be having around her. I suddenly wanted to see her in nothing but those heels.

I frowned at them for turning my thoughts dirty. I was supposed to be helping her, not licking her calves like my stupid brain was encouraging me to do. But my mouth opened of its own accord and asked, “Why are high heels so fucking hot on women?”

I bet she looked spectacular in nothing but them as she wound them around my waist.

“No idea.” She pressed her hand to my forehead as if testing my temperature. Her palm was cool against my heated skin. It felt good. So good. I wanted her to run those cool hands all over my body. “Baby, why are you sitting on the floor?”

Baby. Shit. I liked how she called me baby. And honey, too. She should always call me baby or honey. We should make it an edict. “I fell. This is where I landed.”

“You fell?”

I nodded. I’d fallen. Hadn’t I? Or maybe I’d sat down. Whatever. I was down here now, and it was kind of nice, so I didn’t want to leave.

I’d happily stay here on the floor, chilling, with her…in nothing but high heels.

Julianna gasped as if having a revelation. “Oh my God! You’re drunk!”

Flopping my head up and down with another sloppy nod, I slurred, “Yeah, think so. Aspen’d be pissed if she knew I was this bad off at Brandt’s wedding.”

“Who’s Aspen? Oh God, do you have a girlfriend?”

“What? No.” I tried to shake my head, but wasn’t sure if the coordination matched the command my brain gave it. “Sister. Mom,” I explained. “Noel’s wife. Bo Bo....”

“Huh?” She shook her head and sighed. “I thought you said there was only cola in your cup.”

“Yeah, about that...might’ve lied a little.” After a hiccup, I snickered. “Or a lot.”

“Oh, holy…hell.” She pressed a hand to her forehead. “I got a minor drunk.”

“No, no.” I lifted a finger to reassure her since she looked a bit too panicked for comfort. Then I grinned. “The minor got himself drunk.”

If anything, my reassurance only seemed to make her look more worried.

“We need to move you before someone catches you like this, and I get into trouble.” She rose to her feet and held down a hand to me. “Come on.”

I had no qualms about getting a little more touchy-feely with the lovely Julianna Radcliffe, so I immediately took her fingers and let her help tug me to my feet, even as I asked, “Why should we move me?”

Were we going to find someplace quiet where she would strip down to nothing but her high heels? I liked the sound of that.

She made an irritated growly sound. “I got you drunk. I don’t want to get in trouble for getting a minor drunk.”

“You didn’t get me drunk. I got myself...wait, didn’t we already discuss this?”

“Oh, Jesus.” With a groan, she tugged on my hand, starting for the closed door closest to us. “I feel like we’re making a cheesy rendition of The Three Stooges.”

My eyebrows perked as she tried the door handle. “You like the Stooges too? Sweet.”

Sexy and good taste in comedy; I really liked this girl.

As the door opened under her command, she glanced back at me. “What?”

Then she tripped over her sexy high heels.

I shot out a hand and caught her around the waist. But she’d already been overcorrecting herself and came stumbling back my way. So when she careened into me, we both fell backward until my spine smacked into the opened door, and she piled into me, pretty much plastering every lovely curve she owned into the front of my tux.

“Oh God. I’m sorry. I’m so—” She looked up mid-apology, and the words died on her tongue as her gaze delved into mine. “Whoa.”

The intrigued shock on her face compelled me to reach up to sift the backs of my fingers gently across her cheek. “No need to apologize for making a guy’s day complete.”

Damn, she was flawless close up, too. I wanted to lean in and taste her dewy red lips, cup her dark cheek, absorb the warmth from her skin.

But I dropped my hand, worried I’d gone too far. I already had an arm around her waist, holding her up securely, and her breasts were gouging a lovely little nest right into my ribcage. Add that to the flirting and intimate glances, and I wasn’t sure which boundaries I’d crossed.

Up until this point, all the outrageous things I’d said to her had been harmless because I’d never laid a hand on her, and I hadn’t seriously thought us together would ever be a possibility. So the flirting had been more of a joke, even though it had all been true. But honestly, I’d only said most of that shit to get a reaction out of Brandt, and then out of her because later on, after my brother had decided not to go there, I’d gotten too much of a thrill from pissing her off.

But now, after chicken dancing, and talking nightmares, and seeing her smile—at me—I kind of did mean it, like seriously this-could-happen mean it.

It wasn’t just harmless teasing anymore.

Shit had gotten real.

So I held my breath, waiting for her reaction, any kind of green light to let me know whether I could proceed. Because I suddenly wanted to proceed, very, very much.

But she only closed her eyes and shook her head, wavering as if unsteady. “God, what is happening?”

I tightened my grip on her waist, worried she was going to tip over. Then my forehead crinkled into a grimace. Shit. “You’re plastered too, aren’t you?”

Hooking up with drunk chicks was majorly taboo in my book.

That sobered me right up.

I walked us both the rest of the way into the room and shut the door behind us by kicking back my foot, so we could have a private place to cool down before rejoining the wedding reception. Then I glanced around. She’d found us some kind of snug meeting room with an empty conference table in the center surrounded by plush rolling armchairs. A whiteboard wallpapered one wall, while a television screen hung from the other.

A sudden vision flooded my head of laying her out on the glossy, polished tabletop and slipping my hand up the slit in her dress until I found out what kind of panties she was wearing…or if she was wearing panties.

Shit, this was not good. Why did there have to be such a nice, available horizontal space, perfect for hooking up on, so close by?

Julianna blinked her eyes open and tried to focus on me, but her gaze was glassy and dazed. “It didn’t really hit me until I stood up to go to the bathroom. But yeah, I’m more wasted than I thought.”

“Yeah,” I mumbled, blowing out a breath of agreement, because the alcohol had crept up on me too, but mostly because I knew this meant no fun for us.

Damn....it....

I let my hand fall from the curve of her waist, letting her go.

But Julianna didn’t step away from me. If anything she pressed closer and released a breath as if giving in to temptation. Then she lifted up onto her toes so that her breasts slid up my chest.

I inhaled sharply.

“God, you smell good,” she murmured into my ear.

And yep, instant erection. I mean, it was almost painful because of how fast I got hard.

“Julianna,” I tried to caution her, though it sounded more like a breathless plea than a warning.

The tips of my fingers found the bottom edge of her bustier in the back of her dress and bit in at the top swell of her ass. Then I dipped my face next to hers, making our cheeks brush enough that I’m sure she felt the sandpapery texture of my jaw.

She whimpered and shuddered, then ground her pelvis against my hard, aching cock, clutching my shoulders. I gripped her ass harder, unable to stop myself, grinding her slowly into me.

“Careful, baby doll. I kind of want to do really obscene things to you right now.”

“Yes,” she sighed the word, tipping her head back and closing her eyes. “That sounds wonderful.”

It really did. So I leaned in and ran my tongue up the side of the neck she’d so willingly exposed to me before I gently nipped her earlobe with my teeth, tasting her silver dream catcher earring.

She gripped my shoulders, whimpering for more. “I want you. I want you so bad.” Her voice was high and desperate, and I swear she sounded astonished to be wanting such a thing.

It turned me on as much as it worried me. “Shit.” I leaned my face down enough to press my forehead to hers so I could keep myself from going in for a kiss. Trying to collect myself, I moved my hands to a more respectable place, running them up and down the sides of her arms before tugging her back and putting a good two feet between us.

“Colton?” Her tone was angry and begging and exasperated all at the same time.

I pressed a couple fingers to her lips. “Wait. What about tomorrow?”

She grabbed my hand and gently removed my fingers as she frowned in confusion and shook her head. “Tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I...” I swallowed, knowing I was cock-blocking myself by doing this but also knowing it needed to be done anyway. “I don’t want you to wake up tomorrow morning with a hangover and bloodshot eyes, mortified by what you did with me. I’m not going to be anyone’s fucking drunk regret.”

Been there and done that. Hated it and wasn’t looking for a repeat. Especially with this girl.

Julianna blinked. Then her gaze softened. The sympathy and understanding on her face nearly slew me before she cupped my cheek in her hand. “Oh, honey, I wouldn’t regret you.”

In that second, I actually believed her.

“Swear it,” I whispered. Grasping her wrist, I held her fingers against her own heart as if making her take a solemn vow, then I held up my other hand, palm facing her, and told her to set hers against mine. When she actually did, I softly ordered, “Now repeat after me.”

She nodded, smiling softly as if intrigued by my gravity.

“I, Julianna Elizabeth Radcliffe...” I started, only for her to giggle that cute-ass giggle of hers.

“My middle name isn’t Elizabeth.”

“Margaret?” When she shook her head, I tried again. “Harriet?”

“Dacia,” she relented.

“Dacia,” I murmured, feeling the word ripple through me from the inside out. I liked the name Dacia. “That’s beautiful,” I told her. Then I delved my gaze deep into hers as I started over.

“I, Julianna Dacia Radcliffe, being of sound mind and...” my stare roved down her dress before I hummed deep in my throat, “very sound body, do solemnly swear that I want nothing more on this earth than to press my mouth against the mouth of Colton David Gamble, and maybe even spike my tongue deep into his—”

She interrupted me by huffing out an impatient breath and removing her hand from mine. Then she curled her fingers around my neck and jerked me forward, smashing our mouths together.

Okay…

So I guess Julianna liked to seal her promises with a kiss. She still hadn’t said the actual words, though, which worried me.

Ergo, I resisted her…for all of half a second.

But then her lips softened against mine, and her body went warm and liquid, and fit perfectly against me. I groaned as I gave into defeat, opening up and touching my tongue to hers.

She tasted like champagne, cola, and whiskey. The mix was addictive. I needed more. I backed her toward the conference table before picking her up by the hips and sitting her back down on the hard, glossy surface.

Julianna gripped my shoulder, her nails biting through two layers of cloth. She tried to part her legs to let me fit my hips between them, but her dress would only let them go so wide. Eager to help her out, I set my hand on her knee and slid my fingers up the outside of her thigh, directly toward that cock-teasing slit in her dress.

She was soft and warm. I wanted to concentrate on that and nothing else, so I tore my mouth from hers and pressed our brows together, so I could watch my hand move. The contrast of my skin against hers made the moment even more intense. I held my breath as my fingers disappeared under the dress’s slit and gathered up the material as I headed toward her waist.

I kept expecting her to slap me and shove me away, but she only caught her breath as if she liked watching my touch.

The instant my palm met her hip, she banded her legs around my waist and used them to tug me in close. My cock slammed into the crotch of her soaked hot pink panties, straining against the zipper of my dress pants.

“Damn,” I grunted, dazed by how good it felt and how fast this was happening.

She whimpered something desperate and incoherent before gripping my hair and dragging my face down to her level. And then our mouths were attacking each other again.

“This is wrong, this is so wrong,” she chanted every few seconds between biting my lip and sucking my tongue deep into her mouth.

“That’s probably why it feels so good.” I popped a breast free from the top of her bustier and palmed it hard enough to make her moan and press into my fingers for more. Rolling the nipple under my thumb, I leaned down to draw the other breast into my mouth.

Holy shit, she tasted good.

She gasped and clutched my arm. “Oh God, it really does feel good. Don’t stop.”

I chuckled. “You like it wrong, don’t you, baby doll?”

Instead of answering, she found the front of my chest, smoothed her hands inside my tux jacket and jerked it roughly over my shoulders, then down my arms. Once she tugged that off me, she tried to unbutton my white dress shirt but grew impatient and finally just tugged it apart, popping buttons as she went.

Fuck, that was hot.

I straightened from her breast so she could run her lips over my chest. Her hot wet mouth opened over my flat brown nipple, and I gasped, not realizing I was quite that sensitive there. My cock throbbed so hard I’m surprised it didn’t poke a hole through my slacks to get to her.

I thrust between her legs with a mad, savage grinding that had her biting my nipple before looking up at me with pleading eyes.

“I want to come so bad, it aches. Oh my God, I’ve never felt like this before.”

She sounded almost scared of the sensation. With the instinctive need to ease her, I ran my hand over her cheek and kissed the tip of her nose. “I can help you with that.”

She nodded wordlessly, her big brown eyes trusting as she looked up at me. That was all the green light I needed. I reached down and backed my hips away so I could slip my fingers inside her soaked pristine pink, good-girl panties. But what I found inside was anything but good-girl. Slippery and bare, her naughty wet pussy made me groan. Hers was shaved to perfection, which drove me insane with want.

“Holy fuck,” I groaned as my thumb found the slick little muscle of her clit and made it quiver under my touch.

She jumped as if electrocuted. Then she buried her face in my chest and branded my arm with her long-ass nails as she sobbed, “Right there, right there, oh God, right there.”

I stroked her without mercy, massaging a circle around the area until hitting it directly and then repeating. She bowed up tight against me, right on the edge of ecstasy. Then I thrust two fingers into her while my thumb continued to strum her, and she cried out her shock.

Grinding her pussy into my hand, she clutched my sleeve and buried her face against my heartbeat as her first spasm hit hard and fast.

It was inspiring to watch her come. She fought it the entire time, tensing up, hiding her face, gripping my arm. If I’d been able to see her face, I bet she would’ve been biting her lip too, gritting the moans back deep down into her throat.

But her body wanted what it wanted, and her legs tightened around my hips, keeping me close as she ground her pussy into my hand, riding every last pulse in her orgasm from my fingers.

Nearly a minute later, a small whimpered croak escaped, and her hand loosened its death grip on my arm. Limp and finished, she pulled her face away from my shirt.

Overwhelmed by what had just happened and feeling as if I’d experienced exactly what she had, I slid my fingers free from inside her and gently extracted them from her panties.

She looked up at me, her liquid brown eyes speaking volumes with a dazed satisfaction and maybe a little underlying worry beneath that. “Holy shit.”

I smiled. “I know, right.” Then I popped my wet digits into my mouth to taste her juices.

Her eyes flared with heat. “Are you going to fuck me now?”

I drew my fingers from between my lips, licking off the last remaining flavor of her tangy essence before nodding. “Oh yeah.”

She nodded too, quite solemnly. “Good.”

I went in for a kiss and she met me without hesitation. Our tongues thrust urgently, a nearly identical imitation of what my fingers had just done to her pussy.

Julianna gripped my hair and threaded her fingers through it repeatedly. I swear, the slight occasional tug she gave my locks could be felt all the way from the roots of my hair straight down to the base of my cock.

“I love this hair,” she mumbled. “It’s so fucking soft yet thick. It’s beautiful. I want to grip it with both hands when you first thrust deep, deep inside me.”

“I can help you with that,” I rasped and went back to humping her through our clothes.

She wound her legs back around my waist, thrilling me with the sharp poke of her heels in the top of my ass. Burying my face into the crook of her neck while she molested my hair, I closed my eyes and breathed in her heady scent.

“Seriously,” she slurred, barely able to twine the length of my hair around her finger. “Do you get blond highlights?”

“Hmm?” My lashes fluttered open as I lifted my face.

Why the fuck were we still talking about hair?

Julianna examined my hair, almost obsessively. “I swear you have streaks of blond in here.”

I shrugged, amused by her total concentration but also a little irritated. My hair wasn’t exactly the most crucial thing needing her attention at the moment. “It’s possible, I guess. I was a towhead before I hit puberty.”

Her eyebrows rose. “Really? So all this gorgeous lovely shit is natural?”

“One hundred percent.” I sent her a lazy grin before nudging against her a little more lewdly to get her attention where I really wanted it. “You want to check and make sure? See if the drapes match the carpet?”

And finally, yes, her gaze left my hair to meet my stare.

“Fuck, yeah,” she murmured and slipped open the top button of my pants before zipping them down.

I gripped the table on either side of her hips as I watched her slip her fingers inside my Jockey shorts.

“Oh, damn. That’s what I’m talking about,” Julianna cooed as she pulled me free. She gripped me tight before sweeping her thumb over the weeping slit at the top, and then she jacked me off slowly, sensually, appearing awed by how each stroke seemed to make me bigger.

“Julianna,” I rasped, my voice hoarse because I’d let her have more fun than I could really tolerate.

She looked up, her eyes full of understanding. “Do you have anything?”

I gulped and nodded, the blood rushing from my head and making me slightly dizzy from the reality of what was happening.

When she let go of my cock, I reached down to my pants that hadn’t sagged very far down my legs yet and found my wallet in my back pocket. Meanwhile, she removed her panties.

“Holy…” Feeling it bare was one thing, but seeing it slick and swollen and shaved… “Jesus, baby doll. You should’ve left those on five seconds longer. I don’t know how I’m going to get this condom on now when all I can think about is how it’d feel bare against bare.”

And I wasn’t lying. My hands were literally shaking as I pulled the foil square from my wallet.

“I’ll put it on for you.” When she held out her hand, I nearly came undone. After an unsteady nod, I handed the condom over only to see she was still holding those virginal cotton panties in her free hand.

I couldn’t resist. “I’ll make you a deal. You take this, and I’ll take these.” Snagging her underwear from her hand, I shoved them into my side pocket with my keys.

She merely arched an eyebrow. “You’ll be giving those back afterward.”

With a chuckle, I shook my head. “Yeah, we’ll see about that.”

Poor girl really thought I was going to give them back because she murmured, “Yes, we will,” as she smiled with an assurance that turned me on more.

Then she tucked the condom package into her mouth and tore it open neatly with her teeth. I shuddered, imagining other things clutched delicately between those pearly whites.

Her gaze lifted, and I stepped closer so she could reach me. With her breasts spilling out the top of her dress, her skirt rucked up around her waist and her high heels perched on the table to either side of her so she could spread her legs open wide for me and show me her wet, bare pussy, she looked like a fucking dream come true.

It didn’t seem real.

As she drew the condom toward me, I shook my head. “We’re not dreaming, are we?”

“No.” Her lips tipped up at the corners. “I can’t believe we’re doing this either.” Then she began to slide the latex on. “It’s just…so unreal. I’m about to have sex with the little brother of the guy I’m in love with.”

COLTON’S CHAPTER | 6

Ah, fuck, she didn’t.

Except, yes. Yes, she did.

She’d just said the only thing on the planet to turn me off.

I froze just as she covered me completely. Half a second later, she froze too, her hand still wrapped around my cock.

Then she lifted her face to gauge my reaction, her eyes huge and lips parted in shock.

We just stared at each for, like, the longest second in eternity. And then she finally began to shake her head rapidly back and forth, denying what she’d just said.

“No,” she breathed, her chest heaving with panic. “I…I…I didn’t mean it. I didn’t—”

I jerked back, dislodging her grip from me. Her eyes only grew wider and more worried.

“Yeah, you did,” I said before whirling away to yank off the condom and throw it across the room. I jerked my pants up, wincing because for some reason hearing the girl with her hand around my junk say she loved my brother still hadn’t killed my erection. It hurt like hell to shove it back into my underwear and zip it up, nice and snug and blue-balled.

When I fumbled to close my shirt, I remembered the buttons for it were scattered across the floor.

Shit.

I thrust both hands through my hair, still feeling the imprint of her fingers there.

Double shit.

“Colton?” Her timid, uncertain voice made me wince.

I turned back slowly.

She’d shoved her skirt down, pulled the bustier back over her breasts and hopped off the table so she was standing before me as if I hadn’t been about to fuck her silly.

When she saw my expression, her eyes watered and she brought her hand to her mouth before muffling out, “I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. You have to know I never meant—”

Shaking my head, I whipped my tux jacket off the table and started for the door, unable to listen to anymore.

I’d totally intended to be a bigger man than this and somehow help her smooth it all out, tell her it wasn’t a big deal. It wasn’t like she’d said something I hadn’t already known, and it was probably best we stopped anyway because seriously…drunk hookup at a wedding? Not the best idea. At least not for us two.

Things had morphed into hyperspeed at the drop of a hat. Her ugly, cold-water splash of the facts in our faces had actually been a good thing. We’d almost made a major mistake.

But I just…couldn’t. I couldn’t say I was grateful for what she’d said. I couldn’t stay in that room with her where I could still smell her release on my fingers and taste it on my tongue. I couldn’t…I just couldn’t even look at her.

It felt too much as if I’d just been stabbed in the heart with a really dull, really painful spoon, and I was simply unable to stick around a moment longer.

Suddenly, I hated my brother. Not because Julianna wanted him and not me, but because he’d forced me to go over to her in the first place.

If I’d just fucking stayed away, I wouldn’t have learned what her goddamn earrings meant, I never would’ve suspected she had the cutest, catchiest laugh, I never would’ve buried my fingers inside her or tasted champagne straight from her tongue. I never would’ve thought I might actually stand a chance. But now I knew all of that, and it made the realization that I still didn’t stand a chance all that much harder to swallow.

Stumbling from the room, I hit the still-quiet corridor and kept walking until I reached the door to a rear service exit of the building. Cold January air immediately filled my lungs, and I sucked it in hard, grateful for the sting it brought to my senses. A trio of waitstaff paused their smoke break to glance curiously at me. I nodded before turning in the opposite direction and pacing away for my own privacy.

Then I set my hands on my hips and bent at the waist, blowing out a long deep breath and causing a little vapor cloud to float up around me.

My arousal finally began to subside; the freezing air slapping against my bare chest helped. I straightened and shrugged on my jacket, wondering where my bow tie had gone. Thank God Brandt had forgone vests or cummerbunds when he’d rented our outfits; he was already going to kill me for losing my bow tie and the buttons off my shirt. He’d threatened me within an inch of my life not to spill anything on my tux when he’d handed it over to me earlier to wear. I couldn’t imagine how he was going to react to this.

And why the fuck was I worrying about his reaction to a ruined rented suit?

It was his fault I’d just experienced one of the worst moments of my life.

I felt like a fucking idiot. In the space of an hour—two, tops—I’d developed an extreme fixation on the girl who was hot for my big brother.

Who the fuck did that?

“Hey, man,” a voice called, dragging me from my whirling thoughts. I glanced over to find the reception workers now huddled at the back door. “This door locks from the outside,” the only guy in the group called. “And our break’s up, so if you want back in…”

I waved them off. “Thanks. I’ll just walk around to the front when I’m ready to go back.”

I certainly wasn’t ready to go anywhere at the moment.

They shrugged and disappeared into the building.

Jamming my hands into my pockets, I glanced up at a nearby streetlight, wondering how I was supposed to return to the reception anyway, with my shirt hanging open like this. But before my fingers slid too deep, I encountered damp cloth.

Shit. Her panties.

I pulled them out of my pocket and gaped at them in horror. I couldn’t keep them now, not when they only brought a pain-filled regretful memory. But when I glanced toward the dumpster only a few feet away, my fingers tightened around them protectively, unable to give them up.

An ironic snort left me.

I guess they were my consolation prize.

A consolation prize for the consolation prize.

Jesus, this was pathetic.

I didn’t want to hurt like this, didn’t want to keep replaying it over and over in my head, didn’t want to stick around out here, stuck in my own pity party.

So I liked a girl more than she liked me. Wasn’t the first time, probably wouldn’t be the last. I could deal with this. I’d only gotten to know her for a little while, anyway. We were still basically strangers. I didn’t need to mope around because I’d lost something I’d never even had.

But there was no way I was going back inside to that reception, especially when I knew she’d be there, all slick and bare under that dress…as she gazed longingly at my brother.

Yeah, fuck that.

With a new purpose, I started around the back of the building to the side where I remembered parking my truck. Just as my ride came into view and I slipped my keys from my pocket, my phone buzzed inside my jacket.

Gritting my teeth, I groaned as I pulled it free to check the text I’d just been sent. If Brandt or someone else was beckoning me back inside, I wouldn’t be able to go.

But it was from Noel, thank God.

With a sigh, I pressed the phone to my forehead and closed my eyes. While I was delighted for a legitimate reason to leave, going home to deal with that didn’t sound very appealing either.

But family needed me, and I couldn’t ignore the summons.

I fumbled with my keys to find the right fob, only for my vision to blur and everything to duplicate before my eyes. Damn, I wasn’t as sober as I needed to be.

In no condition to drive, I glanced around the parking lot and tried to calculate how long it’d take me to walk home when I caught sight of a couple exiting the building. The man carried a baby carrier down at his side while the woman next to him held a sleeping boy propped on her hip, his head resting on her shoulder.

I watched them until she caught sight of me. Her welcoming smile glinted from the streetlamps overhead and immediately made me feel comforted. But then, Felicity Parker always had that effect on me; it’s probably why I’d been in love with her since I was ten.

“Colton! What’re you doing out here?” Smile dying, she furrowed her brow as she took in my tattered state of dress. “Is everything okay?”

I ignored the unspoken question of why my shirt was gaping open and my bare chest was on display for all the world to see. I merely said, “Noel needs me home, but…” I glanced at my truck, not really wanting to admit how much I’d had to drink.

Felicity’s face softened with sympathy. “Too much champagne?”

I nodded regretfully.

She sighed. “I saw them leave earlier. Aspen looked pretty pale.”

Glancing up, I felt the instinctive need to defend my sister-in-law and report that Aspen was doing fine. Just fine. But Felicity was her best friend. She knew the truth. All of us closest to her knew.

Shaking her head, Felicity looked up to her husband with pleading eyes. He let out a breath before saying, “Yeah, yeah. I’ll get these two home. You take care of the Gambles.”

Face brightening with pleasure, she pushed up onto her toes to kiss his cheek. “Thank you. You’re the best husband ever.” Then she glanced my way. “Give me a second to help Knox get our crew loaded in the car, and then I’ll drive you home in your truck, okay?”

I had no reason to argue with that, so I nodded. “Okay.”

They had parked only a few spaces down from me, and went off to situate their ankle-biters. While they were doing their thing, I unlocked my truck and slipped into the passenger seat. A minute later, Felicity opened the driver’s side door and climbed behind the wheel. I held up my keys for her without a word and continued to stare out the front windshield.

“Thank you,” she murmured as she tugged them from my hand. After she started the engine, she glanced over at me, and I could feel her gaze examining me up and down.

Finally, she asked, “Do I even want to know what happened to your clothes?”

“Nope,” I answered, still staring out the window.

With a sigh, she backed out of the parking spot. “Oh, Colton. How do you manage to get into these pickles?”

I shook my head, clueless. “Just lucky, I guess.”

She made a sound in her throat, and from the contemplative tone of it, I was probably doubly lucky she didn’t say what she was thinking. A dozen years my senior, Felicity was like a second mother to me, or maybe a third mother, since Aspen was technically my second mother, though I thought of her as more of a first mother. Whatever the ranking, I was sure anything Felicity had to say at this moment would not sit well with me.

Because I already felt like shit.

I glanced at her from the corner of my eye to make sure she was going to keep her thoughts to herself and caught sight of the earrings dangling from her ears. They weren’t dream catchers, but I was suddenly thinking about dangly dream catcher earrings.

I have no idea why learning Julianna had suffered from childhood nightmares too had endeared me to her. Hitler had lost four of his five siblings, both his parents, given all their pensioned money to his little sister Paula, and then been forced to live in homeless shelters because of it all by the time he was eighteen, and I didn’t feel much sympathy for him. But I’d felt a definite connection with Julianna.

Maybe it was because she still carried around a reminder of her night terrors, or rather the cure that had helped her get over them.

Just like I did.

Without meaning to, I reached out and flicked my finger against the rabbit’s foot and breath spray hanging from the keys in the ignition.

“Oh my goodness,” Felicity murmured, glancing at what I was doing. “Please tell me that’s not the original can of monster repellant I gave you years ago.”

I grinned at her fondly. “And if it is?”

“Colton,” she murmured, shaking her head and grinning wildly. “You sentimental sweetheart. What’re we going to do with you? I can’t believe you kept those silly ol’ things.”

She was probably one of the only two people I’d let call me a sweetheart, or sentimental. Then again, she was probably one of the only two people who’d think that way of me. But then, she and Aspen would probably always see me as their little sweetheart.

“How could they be silly if they worked?” I asked.

She smiled and grasped my wrist before I could retract my hand from the rabbit fur. Squeezing, she murmured, “I’m glad they worked.”

“Me too.” I drew her knuckles to my mouth and kissed them tenderly. “Did I ever thank you for chasing my nightmares away?”

Flushing, she shook her head. “There’s no need for that. I barely did anything.”

Barely anything my ass. She’d taken the time to talk me through my night terrors, then she’d helped me brainstorm ways to combat them, and to top it off, she’d given me these two keychains with a story about how they could protect me. And the nightmares had gone away completely.

I wouldn’t call that nothing. To me, she was a hero.

“You did a hell of a lot more than you know,” I argued as she turned down my street.

She glanced at me and patted my thigh. When she turned into the driveway, she said, “Now, tell me straight before I go in there with you. How bad off is she? Really.”

My chest tightened, and I shook my head adamantly. “You don’t have to come in. It’s fine. Just take my truck home. I’ll pick it up some time tomorrow.”

Felicity killed the engine and I knew she was coming inside. Fuck.

Yeah, she was Aspen’s best friend and all, but it devastated Aspen every time someone outside the family—or anyone inside the family, for that matter—saw her in her current state. And we Gamble men hated seeing anything devastate our Aspen.

She’d weathered the wedding a hell of a lot better than I’d thought she would—than I’m sure we’d all feared she would—but she was probably paying for it now.

My mind raced with some way to talk Felicity out of coming inside. Aspen would probably cry and apologize and feel really shitty, and Noel would kill me for being the cause of it.

Next to me, Felicity sighed throughout the quiet interior of the cab. “I know she’s suffering from more than just a simple case of the baby blues, Colton. She has some major postnatal depression going on, and I’m not sure why you Gamble boys seem so determined to keep it hidden from me, but I am her best friend, you know? So just what are you so afraid I’m going to do to her?”

Glancing at her, I answered honestly. “Make her talk about it. She only gets worse if you make her talk about it. And we’re already getting her help, I promise you. So there’s no need to go pushing any triggers, especially after she’s already spent a full day out of the house and around so many people. She’s got to be extra vulnerable right now.”

“Well.” Felicity blew out a breath. “I can assure you I will not make Aspen talk about it if that’s what you’re so worried about. But the way I see it, there are three people in that house right now who need assistance, so it only makes sense to me that it’ll take three of us to give each of them the attention they need.”

My shoulders slumped as I shook my head, giving in. “Okay. Fine. But Noel won’t like it.”

“Let me handle Noel.”

We climbed out of the truck together and started up the front walk. The moment we hit the porch, the front door came open. Noel bounced a fussing baby on his shoulder as he scowled out at me. “What the hell took you so…” His words died as soon as he saw Felicity, and his gaze went wary before he shifted an accusing glare to me.

“Hey, Noel,” she murmured, taking over before he could say anything. “Reinforcements have arrived. I’ll take the baby.”

Before Noel could really react, she was easing the infant from his shoulder and cradling her in her arms, cooing, “Hey there, little Lucy Olivia. Have you been giving your daddy grief? Yes, it sounds like you have. Aww…aren’t you just precious?”

As Lucy Olivia settled down to gaze up at the woman talking to her, Felicity snagged the burp rag still hanging from Noel’s shoulder and jiggled the baby in a happy manner, still talking to her, as they left the room together and disappeared down the hall in the direction of the nursery.

Noel sighed and rubbed his face. He was still wearing his tux from the wedding, with only the jacket removed and the bow tie undone at his neck.

“Beau’s still awake if you want to—”

“Yeah,” I murmured, waving him off. “I got the kid. Go take care of your wife now.”

Noel nodded gratefully and started to turn away, only to do a double take when he finally focused on me.

Question filled his face as he took in my gaping shirt, but I shook my head. “Long story.”

He looked too weary to pursue it, so he turned away to find Aspen. She was probably curled up in their bed, staring at the wall. She did that a lot these days. It was traumatizing for all of us to see her decline the way she had since Lucy Olivia had arrived, but it had hit Noel the hardest.

It felt as if I aged ten years as I trudged back to my room that I was currently sharing with my nephew. After Brandt had moved out to live with Sarah, the Beau-meister and I had gotten separate rooms. But then Lucy Olivia had come along a few months later. The plan had been for her to stay in a crib with Noel and Aspen in their room, but Aspen hadn’t been able to handle her crying, so Beau and I ended up together in order to make a nursery where baby sounds could be muffled.

When I opened the door to my room, toys lay scattered across the floor, and my three-year-old nephew sat happily in the middle of them, still wearing his slacks, button-up shirt, tie and black dress socks.

“Colt!” he cried eagerly when he saw me. Abandoning his toys, he raced over and jumped so that I had to catch him in midair.

“Hey, Bo Bo. You being good in here?”

He nodded seriously. “I haven’t left once, just like Daddy said not to.”

“Good job, kiddo.” My smile was painful. Beau understood the least why things had changed and he needed to give his mother more time to rest. We’d tried to explain she was sick, but then, of course, he’d had to ask her about her illness, which had, of course, resulted in her having a breakdown and fearing she was failing her son completely.

To say the least, Beau and I had been hanging out a lot more these days.

“Let’s say we get you cleaned up and into some pajamas, huh, big guy?”

Beau wrinkled his nose. “Daddy said I didn’t have to take a bath tonight.”

I totally didn’t get his aversion to baths. The kid loved water—he usually begged to go swimming every day during the summer. And once you wrangled him into the tub, he played with his toys until you had to drag him out with all his fingers and toes pruned and wrinkled. But he fought it every night anyway, without fail.

“Oh, did he?” I murmured, arching a censorious eyebrow. “Let me smell your hair.”

Beau eagerly tilted his head down for me to bring my nose close, and when I actually got a whiff of clean soap, I shrugged. “All right then, bud. But we still gotta brush your teeth.”

He groaned and complained, but I set him on the floor and swatted him lightly on the back to urge him along. “Get going, Captain Underpants.”

He laughed, loving the title, and raced from the room. I followed a little more leisurely and paused just outside the bathroom to let him do his thing on his own. Every wall of the hallway was plastered with hundreds—maybe thousands—of little slips of paper with a quote either handwritten or printed on each one.

When my gaze caught on one near the bathroom entrance, I snorted derisively. It said something about regrets only coming from things you never tried.

“Bull…shit,” I muttered, thinking immediately of bright pink cotton panties and the prettiest pussy I’d ever seen. I definitely regretted trying that, regretted learning more about her and kissing her and watching her come apart in my arms. And most of all, I regretted getting close enough to her that she could hurt me.

Down the hall, in the opposite direction as the nursery, I heard hushed, muffled voices. Needing to know how Aspen was doing, I inched that way and barely peered around the corner into Noel’s bedroom, hoping they didn’t spot me eavesdropping.

The two lay on the bed together, curled around each other, with both of them still wearing the clothes they’d gone to the wedding in.

Aspen sniffed and burrowed her face against Noel. “I didn’t do too bad today, did I? Do you think anyone knew?”

“No, not at all. You did great.” He smoothed her hair behind her ear before kissing her brow. “You did amazing.”

“No,” Aspen murmured, closing her eyes. “I didn’t.” A single tear trailed down her cheek.

Noel quickly wiped it away. “No one suspected a thing. You did just fine.”

She sighed and closed her eyes, and he hugged her close. “I’m tired of being this way, Noel. I’m so tired.”

“I know, sweetheart.” He rested his cheek on the top of her head and smoothed her hair. “It’ll be over soon, and you’ll feel better again. I swear.”

“How do you know?”

“I just do.”

I turned away from the doorway and headed toward the bathroom to check on Beau, believing my brother. His sheer force of will would heal Aspen if nothing else did. I swear, he wanted it to happen so bad, it almost had to. She would get better, eventually. There was no maybe about it.

Noel loved his wife with an intensity I saw in few couples, three of those few being all of my siblings.

It was strange. Noel, Brandt, and Caroline had each found someone to fit them perfectly. In this day and age, that was unheard of, and yet…it left me with this hope, this determination that someday I’d find the same thing too. So I was always on the lookout, testing the waters to find that perfect fit for myself.

I mean, I didn’t turn down casual hookups along the way. Hello, I was an eighteen-year-old dude. But in the back of my mind, the ultimate goal had always been to find her, that girl who filled the gaps in me the same way all my siblings’ spouses had filled the gaps in them.

As my thoughts wandered back to Julianna, I decided something. Maybe I didn’t regret what had happened between us after all. I had tried something, tested the waters, and it hadn’t worked, but at least I’d tried, and now I knew without a doubt, the two of us were definitely not meant to be.

JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 7

My eyes felt crusted over and dried up when I tried to open them. The sunlight was obnoxious and way too damn cheerful as it streamed through the blinds of my window and prodded me out of my sleep.

Grumbling, I slapped my pillow over my face to muffle the stupid light, only to wince when all that soft cloth jostled my tender, aching temples. Fuck, I’d drank way too much last night, and ended up being way too stupid.

I wasn’t sure what I regretted more: starting something with Colton, or stopping it—more aptly, stopping it the way I had.

I wanted to say starting anything with him at all had to be worse, but no…no. Those asinine words that had tumbled out of my mouth had to take that prize. All I could remember was that lost, devastated expression on his face as he’d jerked his cock from my hand and backed away from me. So, yeah, that had to be the very worst moment of all.

The kicker of it, though, was I had no idea why I’d even said it. I hadn’t even been thinking about Brandt. And why had I used the l-word? I’d had a crush but was pretty sure I hadn’t ever felt love for him because no way could my attention have been so utterly captivated by Colton that quickly if I’d been in love with someone else.

Which had to mean I was the stupidest girl ever for saying the most untrue thing at the worst moment possible.

But the weird thing was, I wasn’t that girl. I wouldn’t do that, wouldn’t say that, wouldn’t drink that. Some idiot must’ve taken control of my body, messed up my entire evening, and then returned me back to myself this morning. That’s all there was to it. Because I certainly had never gone to a wedding I didn’t even want to attend before, gotten drunk there, or made out with the best man who just so happened to be the brother of the very guy I’d kind of wanted to have a chance with.

Nope. Not me.

Denial set clearly in place, I pushed the pillow off my face and winced as the blinding sunlight burned my hangover.

“Not cool, not cool,” I chanted to the sun as I slid out of bed and tiptoed to my closet.

After gathering the first set of clothes to reach my fingers, I tiptoed to the door—no idea why I was tiptoeing—then I eased open the handle and peered cautiously into the hall. I so wasn’t ready to share any of my evening with either of my roommates.

When I saw the coast was clear, and I didn’t hear any stirring, I darted into the hall and hauled ass to the bathroom.

Once I was locked inside, I pressed my back against the wall, closed my eyes and blew out a breath.

Then I muttered, “I am so freaking weird,” to myself as I ripped my night scarf off my head.

Resigned to that fact, I took a bath.

It was actually my scheduled day to wash my hair, but I didn’t feel like going through the whole lengthy process, so I skipped that part and climbed back out of the tub a couple minutes later to towel myself dry and scurry into the clothes I’d grabbed, which happened to be a pair of shorts with the word Angel on the butt and a thin, gray ESU T-shirt. I wanted to bypass makeup altogether, but that was unheard of for me, so I dabbed it on quickly and pulled open the door with nothing but coffee on my mind.

It was easier to think about what I needed to do next, instead of last night.

Use bathroom.

Clean myself

Dress myself.

Find coffee.

See: Simple. Easy. Guilt-free.

I was already trying to decide what to force myself to do after getting the coffee when I entered the kitchen.

“Damn, girl,” a male voice immediately said, making me jump and skid to a stop. “You look rode hard and put away wet.”

I paused to glare over at my roommate Tyla’s boyfriend at the table and muttered, “Fuck off.”

Hey, some days you had to get out the broom, hat, and big black cat and remind everyone who they were dealing with. This was one of those days.

Theo lifted his hands, letting me know he was backing off. Ignoring him and the other three occupants of the table who were scolding him for his jackass comment, I went straight to the coffeepot and poured myself a cup.

A throat cleared and my second roommate, Sasha, hesitantly asked, “So…how’d the wedding go?”

Beside her, her man, Chad, snickered and I heard flesh slap against flesh as she whacked his leg under the table.

After focusing all my attention on the stream of coffee trickling into my mug, I finally glanced over to send my two roommates and their boyfriends a tight smile. “It went fine.”

“He married her then?” Tyla pressed, sending me the most sympathetic puppy dog eyes ever.

I ground my teeth, wishing I’d never told Sasha and Tyla about that stupid crush I’d formed on Brandt, or that I’d be attending his wedding. Another stupid thing the stupid person who liked to invade my body must’ve done while I was out of commission.

“Of course he married her,” I said, frowning as if she were crazy. “Why wouldn’t he marry her?”

“Well, shit.” Chad snorted. “I thought you were going to stand up in the middle of the ceremony the moment the priest said ‘if anyone here knows why these two should not be married—’”

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. That didn’t happen. He married her, and honestly, I wish them both all the happiness in the world.”

I didn’t even feel a smidgeon of bitterness when I said that either. Hmm, strange. I really did hope Brandt was happy with Sarah, which was another telling sign that I hadn’t been as far gone for him as I’d always suspected. I mean, seriously, wouldn’t it hurt more to know he was on his honeymoon this very second, doing—

Well, I didn’t even care what he was doing. So, there.

Truth be told, I was more concerned with what Colton was doing right now. How much did he hate me? And how the hell was I going to avoid him from here on out whenever he showed up at the bar to visit his brother? Because there was no way I’d ever be able to face him again. The humiliation would kill me.

I’d quit.

Yes!

The idea came in a flash, and for a moment, I was tempted to do just that. I was honestly that afraid of facing Colton again. But then…that was a ridiculous reason to quit a job. And bartending at Forbidden was the most lucrative employment I’d ever had with the best boss I’d ever worked for. I couldn’t quit my job.

I only had one semester left of college, then I could move away—far, far away—find my dream job in business finance, and live happily ever after, taking care of no one but myself. That was the plan, and I was sticking to it.

So, I’d just have to be a big girl and suck it up if I ever stumbled across Colton’s path again. And if he happened to demand an apology from me, well…then, I guess I’d just give him one. He deserved that, at the very least.

But he really hadn’t seemed like he’d wanted an apology last night before he’d stormed from that room, so maybe…maybe we’d never have to talk again.

One could always hope.

Except the idea of never talking to him again kind of made me feel sick and shaky and restless.

“I still can’t believe he got married in the beginning of January,” Sasha was saying, jerking me from my straying thoughts. “I mean, really. Who gets married then?”

I sighed and shrugged. This was about the fifth time she’d voiced her opinions about the date Brandt and Sarah had picked for their ceremony.

“I mean, New Year’s Day, okay, I can see the point there. But the eighth? Why?”

I didn’t have an answer, and honestly, I didn’t care. I was just happy this meant Brandt would now be gone from work on his honeymoon and away from the bar for the next week. I think he’d mentioned they would return a day or two before college classes resumed for the new semester, where he was going to begin his graduate program in physical therapy. To me, though, what it really meant was a weeklong reprieve where Colton would have no reason whatsoever to stop by the club.

Thank God.

Five hours later, my jaw dropped and I whispered, “What the fuck?” as Colton stepped inside the Forbidden Nightclub.

Behind the bar where I’d been in the middle of mixing a Tom Collins, I immediately dropped down onto my haunches so I could hide behind the counter. But I realized what a cowardly idiot I must look like right about the time Bob, my coworker, arched me a questioning glance.

“I…I spilled some, er, ice,” I fumbled out lamely, my face heating with shame.

What the hell was I doing? I couldn’t hide down here. Besides, I was a bold, confident woman—or, you know, at least that was the goal—I could fucking face the guy I had totally wronged.

Pushing to my feet, I brushed my bangs out of my eyes, straightened my shoulders and cleared my throat before daring to move my gaze his way. But as soon as I took him in, everything inside me started clanging wildly out of control. As nervous as I was about his reaction to last night’s…uh, events between us, I couldn’t seem to stop the memories from tumbling through my brain. They heated my insides and made me feel flushed and breathless.

He approached the bar with a lazy kind of grace, and my stomach flipped madly while my toes began to curl. He walked with the same slow, talented swagger as he had when he’d backed me up onto the table and slid his hand inside my dress.

“Hey, Colton,” Bob greeted him with a head nod. “Awesome wedding last night.”

I swerved my coworker a startled glance. I hadn’t known Bob had been there. His name card had been at my table, yet I hadn’t even spotted him.

Nice of him to leave me stranded by myself at our table.

Asshole.

“Yep,” Colton answered, his voice sending this buzz of complete awareness through me. Compelled to turn back his way, I watched him point toward the opening of the hall that led into the back. “Pick around tonight?”

“Sure is,” Bob answered. “Go on back.”

“Thanks,” Colton murmured and headed that way.

We all knew Brandt and his family were in tight with the club’s big bossman, so it wasn’t surprising at all that Colton would want to see Pick. But as soon as he disappeared out of sight, one glaring fact struck me like a stinging slap right across the face.

He had completely ignored me.

Colton Gamble had never once in the nine months we’d known each other ignored me. He’d always taken the time to pay me special attention, flash me a flirty grin, try to charm some piece of clothing off me, ask me out, name our future children. And I’d always shrugged him off as annoying, too cocky for his own good, and over-the-top ridiculous.

But to be denied his attention so abruptly made the lack of it feel very dark, and very cold, and utterly lonely.

Hell, I would’ve preferred it if he’d glared at me and called me a worthless bitch to my face. Anything had to be better than a direct cut because this freaking hurt. I felt hollowed out and empty, which made another startling fact occur to me.

I could no longer deny it; I had secretly liked his cheesy flirting the entire time. And I mean liked it, liked it.

I think I might’ve even liked him.

Here I’d always thought it was anger and annoyance and distaste that roiled through me whenever I’d been forced to talk to Brandt’s little brother. But maybe that super-alive feeling he roused in me that made me want to claw at his face before climbing his body, pulling his hair and forcing him to kiss me was some kind of fucked-up foreplay I was experiencing.

One thing was for sure: I’d never been able to focus on anyone but him when he’d been around.

Realizing I was attracted to him—and had always been attracted to him—in a super intense way kind of intimidated me. I didn’t want to like Colton like that. He wasn’t easy like Brandt. There was nothing calm or secure or careful about the way he affected me.

And those were not the kinds of feelings I’d constructed my entire life around.

So it should be a good thing he no longer wanted anything to do with me.

Except when the door to Pick’s office opened down the hall and voices emerged, I didn’t care about any of that. I held my breath, anxious to see him enter the bar again, needing him to acknowledge me.

“Thanks again,” Colton was saying, his voice sending delicious chills down my back.

“No problem,” Pick answered him. “Like I said, as long as it’s after hours and you put everything back where you found it, you can have free reign over the place.”

They exited the hall together, Pick setting his hand on Colton’s shoulder in a fatherly manner.

Colton glanced at him with a grateful smile. “We can do that, no problem. And we’ll make sure to get the Forbidden logo in every scene, too.”

“I appreciate it.” Pick patted Colton’s shoulder before dropping his hand. “See you around, kid.”

“Later.” Colton waved a hand over his shoulder and kept walking toward the door as Pick stopped to watch him go.

I watched him too.

I’d cried myself to sleep last night after I’d gotten home from the wedding, leaving straight from the conference room where Colton and I had made out. I’d thought I had bawled enough to last me a year or two. But as Colton strolled toward the exit without even once glancing my way, the urge to weep mounted with a force that cramped my stomach and dried my throat. I tried to swallow down the pain, but it just got stuck in all the dry rawness, and my eyes began to water.

“You okay, Julianna?”

I jumped and slapped my hand to my chest as I spun toward my boss, who was now standing at the bar, one hand on the countertop, as he eyed me with worry.

“What?” I gasped, then shook my head, offered him an apologetic smile and repeated, “I’m sorry, what?”

He studied me a second longer, his gaze reminding me of the way Colton could see right into my head and read everything I was thinking. Then he glanced toward the exit where Colton had just disappeared and swung his gaze back to me. “Just making sure you’re doing okay?”

I bobbed my head up and down, swallowing the dread and hoping he didn’t catch on that anything had happened between Colton and me. “Yes,” I nearly gasped. “I’m fine. Just fine.”

He lifted his hand and gave me a thumbs-up. “Cool. I was just checking in, making sure everything’s going okay here tonight?”

Oh.

Damn, I thought he’d been asking about me personally. Now I felt as if I’d just given something away by answering about myself. Did he think I’d given anything away?

I glanced toward Bob, but he was busy making a drink for a customer, so I swung my attention back to Pick. “Yep. It’s all good. Kind of slow, but…” I shrugged. “That’s a typical Sunday for you.”

He nodded, agreeing, but continued to watch me, making me squirm inside. “Did you make it to the wedding last night?”

I opened my mouth, but no words came. Realizing both he and Bob hadn’t seen me there, I blurted, “No, I didn’t,” wondering the entire time why I was lying to my boss. There was no reason to lie, and yet I kept going. “I bet it was nice, though.”

Again, his head moved up and down with a polite nod. “Yes, it was. You missed seeing my kiddos trying the chicken dance at the reception.”

I froze, gaping at him while he continued to stare at me as if he wasn’t searching for information at all.

But maybe he was. Maybe he was trying to tell me he’d seen me dance with Colton. Had he seen us sitting at the table after that, talking and drinking? Had he seen us leave together? I had no freaking clue. Pick Ryan was one of the hardest people on the planet to read.

So I just said, “I bet they were adorable,” all the while hoping he’d stop fishing for more information if that was what he was even doing.

He smiled. “They were. It’s always fun to watch the young ones dance.” Then he knocked his knuckles against the countertop and pointed toward me. “Let me know if you need anything. I’ll probably hang around for another hour or so before I head home.” And he started back toward his office without another word.

I stared after him, pressing a hand to my stomach and wondering what the heck had just happened. Had that been his way of telling me what he suspected about Colton and me? Or was he just making idle chatter? Maybe he’d been so busy watching his children he hadn’t seen me on the dance floor with Colton and Colton’s nephew. But something told me he knew.

My heart raced and stomach churned as I returned my attention to work. I felt guiltier and worse than ever for what I’d done to Colton.

I couldn’t believe he’d completely ignored me, and yet I really could. It was what I deserved. But that didn’t make me feel any better. One thing was brutally clear, though. This was going to be one very long semester before I could escape Ellamore, Illinois.

And it hadn’t even started yet.

JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 8

A week and a half later on a Wednesday, the first day of my last semester of college began, and it did not start well. Both Sasha’s and Tyla’s boyfriends had stayed the night, meaning that left one bathroom to share between the five of us this morning, and who do you think got last dibs on it? Yep. This girl.

Then, those bastards had finished off all the coffee by the time I had showered and dressed and was ready for the day. There was no time to make another batch or even to stop by a Starbucks on the way to campus. I rolled into my first class nearly ten minutes late as it was. What was worse, I forgot my pen and my laptop, so I had no way to take notes. I sat there all hour, stewing and frustrated, wishing I had my shit together.

That other stupid person must’ve invaded my body again and fucked me all up because this was not me. I was never late, I never forgot my things, and I never let myself get distracted in class.

But I couldn’t concentrate on a single word the professor said. The fact that Colton had to be somewhere on campus right now kept pestering me. What if I passed him on the lawn or ran into him in the cafeteria?

Would he still ignore me?

He was a freshman now; this would be his second semester. I wondered what his field of study was and how he paid attention in class. I couldn’t picture him as the type who diligently took notes all hour. So not his style. No, he was the slacker in the back who sat slouched in his seat with his feet propped up on the chair in front of his as he doodled the entire time, or slept…take your pick.

I knew he’d been the salutatorian of his high school class, so he had to be pretty damn smart, but the idea of him being a model student didn’t even seem possible.

And why was I sitting here pondering what kind of fucking student Colton Gamble was?

I definitely had issues.

Steeling my resolve, I refocused my energies on the professor and was able to listen and soak in a couple sentences before I began to wonder if Colton had met some other girl since the wedding. He hadn’t come back to the bar in the eight days since he’d last ignored me.

Eight days. A guy like him—cocky, suave, and too gorgeous for his own good—he could’ve landed a couple women in that time.

It made me feel suddenly very nauseous.

By the time we were let out of class five minutes early, I was a sweaty, worried mess. Deciding lack of coffee had demented my brain, I stopped by the campus coffee shop on the way to my second class of the day. The line was short, thank goodness, so I had a steaming cup in my hand within minutes.

Sipping and reenergized, I started toward the history building where I had a Philosophy 101 class. It was a general ed credit I should’ve taken my freshman year. But I’d kept pushing it off. If I could’ve gotten out of it completely, I would have, except my advisor had finally noticed I needed to take something and said I couldn’t graduate until I did, so…here I was.

Since it had such a large enrollment, it was held in the history building’s lecture hall where the seats went up a step the further back they went. Just as I entered the domed room, I felt my phone buzz from my bag. I slipped it from the front pocket of my backpack only to find a group message from Tyla, sent to me and Sasha.

Along with her message, she’d attached a picture of a guy she’d dated her sophomore year. He was asleep, obviously in class, slumped over his desk with his face mashed to his textbook. And someone—I’m guessing Tyla—had stuck a sign to his forehead that read, I have crabs.

It was so Tyla that I laughed and turned to head up the steps without really watching where I was going, navigating completely from the corner of my eye.

But then suddenly, someone was right there, also trying to go up the steps to find a seat. I skidded to a stop to avoid running into her…or him.

“Shit, sorry.” I looked up, cringing as I apologized. “I didn’t see—” The words died on my tongue when I looked up into his face. “Oh, God.”

Colton’s smile was tight and his eyes narrowed. “Hey,” he greeted, bobbing his chin. “Long time no making out.” Slipping sideways so I could pass, he splayed out a hand, telling me to go ahead. “Ladies first.”

But I couldn’t move. I gaped at him another second before shaking my head. “Wha-wha-what are you doing here?”

His jaw shifted impatiently. Lifting his gaze above my head, he answered, “Attending class. Same as you, I’m guessing.”

I glanced around the room. Yes, it was a freshman class, and yes, I’d put off taking it until my last semester but, no...no way could it be the same freshman class this freshman was taking. Realizing it was—we honest-to-God shared a class together—I whipped my gaze back to his stony face.

“No,” I uttered. “No, no, no. This can’t happen.”

His glare shot fire before he bit out, “Glad you approve. Now, do you need to get by to find a seat or not? I’d prefer not to stand here all day waiting for you to pass.”

My mouth fell open. “I…I’m sorry,” I mumbled, all the while wondering why I was apologizing to him when he was the one being the asshole. It was just so bizarre to see him this way.

The only Colton I’d ever known was smiling, charming, happy Colton. I didn’t like nasty, bitchy, frowning Colton. But the reason nasty Colton was even a thing was because I’d made him that way, which sucked. I so totally sucked. I’d ruined a perfectly good hot boy.

People had been beaten to death for less.

I nodded mutely and hurried up the steps until I found a spot. As I slid into the first available end chair, Colton brushed past to find something further back. I glanced up at him over my shoulder as he slumped deep into a seat and immediately propped his feet on the chair in front of him.

I couldn’t even feel smug that I’d guessed him correctly—he was a total slouch sitter—it was too surreal to learn I shared a class with him.

And too painful to witness how much he hated me now.

He ignored me completely as I stole another second to stare at him, the curl of attraction mixing bitterly with my regret. I turned back to my desk, but I swore I could feel his heated stare burning the back of my neck.

It didn’t dissipate when class started either. No, it caused me to suffer through yet another hour of paying no attention to my lecture.

As soon as the professor released us, I raced out of there before Colton and I could collide on the stairs again. I had just pushed my way out of the building when it struck me I was running scared. I was not the type of person who ran away from problems.

Just what the hell was Colton Gamble turning me into?

Pissed at myself, tired of acting like someone else, and ready to just be done with all this guilt and crappiness, I muttered to myself as I turned right back around and stormed into the history building. How dare he do this to me?

Okay, fine, I was doing it to myself. But it made me feel better to blame him, so yeah, damn Colton. He was not going to get away with ignoring me or being cold and indifferent. That was my role! We were not allowed to switch places.

Since over a hundred other people were trying to exit the building while I was darting back inside, it took me a while to work against the flow of traffic and make my way toward the lecture hall. I scanned faces and popped up onto my tippy toes, even though I was already wearing some decent-sized heels to spot him in case we passed each other. But he hadn’t passed this way yet, so that meant he’d either gone to another classroom in the building, hadn’t left the lecture hall yet, or crap…maybe he’d gone out a different exit.

Hoping it wasn’t the last option, I turned a corner, only to skid to a halt when I spotted him waylaid by a petite little brunette in the shortest skirt and skimpiest top. She stood close enough to him, doing all the talking and motioning with her hands, that he had to crane his face down to even meet her gaze. But he nodded, letting her know he was listening.

Their conversation looked intimate.

Something vile and painful passed through my stomach. An unnatural chill rushed up my arms and I either wanted to scream and charge, pulling her hair, or scream and run away crying and pulling my own hair. The two urges were so swift and strong they caused me to press a hand to my chest and suck in a hard breath.

I didn’t like this. I didn’t like how seeing them together made me feel, what it made me want to do. What’s worse, there was no reason for it. I was being utterly absurd. Unnerved by how I was feeling, I whirled away just as Colton lifted his face and turned his attention to me.

He had to have seen me, but hopefully he wouldn’t know I’d been trying to hunt him down and…I don’t even know what I would’ve said to him if I’d gotten hold of him: that I wanted to go back to being the way we were before we’d made out, where he flirted and smiled, and I acted like I didn’t like him?

Yeah, I couldn’t tell him that.

I was hustling down the hall as fast as my heels could carry me when I heard a call. “Hey!” It sounded like Colton, so I didn’t stop or even glance back. I might’ve even hurried my pace a bit, until the voice added, “Radcliffe.”

Dammit. Gritting my teeth and unable to ignore my name, especially since I realized I was running away again, I slowed to a stop and inched around, lifting my eyebrows with question.

When all he did was lift his hands as if silently asking, “What’s the deal?” I glanced behind him for her, but the girl he’d been talking to was nowhere in sight.

“Where’d your friend go?” I blurted out without thinking.

He had the gall to look confused. “What friend?”

“The girl,” I bit out. “The one you were talking to just now.”

“Oh.” He glanced behind him too, as if expecting her to pop out from behind a bench or something. Then he came back around and shrugged. “I didn’t even know her. She approached me after class to ask me about study groups or something. I don’t know.” He hooked a thumb over his shoulder. “Was she the one you needed to talk to?”

“What? No.” I shook my head. “Why did you follow me?”

“It looked like you wanted to talk to me? Why the hell did you take off? You looked upset. Kind of sad, and maybe pissed, but mostly just upset.”

Narrowing my eyes and stepping closer, I poked a finger toward his chest. “Well, you’re insane if you think I’m going to admit I was jealous of her.”

“Whoa!” Lifting his hands, he took a step away. But then he paused and hummed deep in his throat. “Jealous, huh? I didn’t even mention the word jealous. Didn’t even think it, actually. Why would you bring up the word jealous?”

I froze, internally cursing myself. Now he was going to think—

Gasping when he stepped right up into my personal space and set a hand against the wall near my head, half caging me in, I looked up into his intense brown eyes and lost myself. Everything about him was just so loud. It blared through me, taking control of my heartbeat, of my breathing, of my hormones.

“Or maybe I should ask why you’d be jealous of some girl talking to me.” His voice was low and reverberated through my ovaries, making them tingle and contract with lust. But then he added, “I’m not Brandt.”

My mouth fell open. I was half tempted to punch him in the gut and half tempted to burst into tears. After a hard, painful swallow, I lifted my chin and sucked it up. “I suppose I deserve that.”

“I suppose you do,” he murmured. The words were biting but the tone was not. He spoke too softly to be condemning and besides, the way his gaze traveled over my face was in no way bitter. He looked at me as if he wanted me for dinner.

My body heated in the most inappropriate, but pleasant places.

I wondered what he’d do if I lifted up onto my toes and kissed him.

“So why did you want to talk to me?” he asked, returning his gaze to my face after he did a slow, thorough body check of the rest of me.

I held my breath for half a second, commanding myself not to reach for him because he was so close and his stare was so hot, pressing against him was the only thing on my mind.

But we were having a serious, very un-sexy conversation. My body needed to chill the fuck out.

“Okay, fine, I did want to talk to you,” I admitted, lifting my chin.

He nodded, encouraging me to continue. “About…?”

I exhaled a long breath. “We’re going to share this class for the rest of the semester, right, and I’m sure we’ll cross paths again at the bar. So I just thought it would be in both of our best interests if…if…if I apologized for…you know, and cleared all this contention between us.”

“Contention?” He cocked his head curiously to the side. “Is there contention between us?”

With a huff of disbelief, I hissed, “Yes! You completely ignored me at the bar the day after the wedding, and then today, when you finally decided I was at least decent enough to talk to, you treated me like I was trash.”

“How did I treat you like trash?” he demanded, finally looking a little perturbed. “By calling you an idiot, an asshole, a jerk, annoying? Oh wait, no.” He snapped his fingers. “Those are things you’ve called me. My bad.”

I opened my mouth as words failed me. But wow, I really had been awful to him, hadn’t I? And he was very, very upset with me.

This was not good.

I had to fix this.

“That’s just how I am,” I blurted. “I’m bitchy. You are not. You’re charming and flirty and…and you let insults bounce right off you. You just…” I spread my fingers before him. “You don’t act like this.”

Okay, so that was probably the worst argument I’d ever given anyone, but it was pretty much the truth, so…I went with it.

“Oh don’t I?” he asked softly. “Because you know me so well then?”

Unable to answer him because he was right, I didn’t really know him, I just stared, helpless, not even sure what to say.

He shook his head and glanced away before returning his gaze to me, his eyes swirling with turbulence. “Maybe I just don’t feel like being my usual self right now,” he said quietly. “Okay?”

My heart ached. Feeling like shit, I reached up and cupped his cheek gently in my palm. “I really broke you, didn’t I?”

His eyelashes flickered, dragging the lids over his eyes as if he had no control over it. When he leaned slightly into my hand, his scent floated over me. I wanted to press my lips to his. Then I wanted to hug him and feel his heat wrap around me, maybe let it soak into my bones and fix all this misery I was putting him through.

Watching his face, I said, “I’ll admit there’s something very...chemical between us.”

His eyes sprang open. He stared at me for a moment before pulling his face from my hand. Scowling, he said, “It’s called a chemical imbalance. And those cause mental illnesses, like schizophrenia, so...” He wrinkled his nose as if smelling something foul. “I’ll pass.”

Ouch.

Spinning away, he started down the hall away from me.

My stomach gripped with unease. “Colton...”

He only waved a hand over his shoulder. “I’ll work on the contention thing,” he growled. And that was that.

I didn’t feel better about facing my guilt head-on at all. And Colton still seemed to hate me.

Fuck.

JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 9

By the time my day ended, I was frazzled and drained. I didn’t see Colton anymore, though I kept expecting to bump into him again throughout the rest of my classes.

When I slumped into my apartment, I collapsed on the couch and let my book bag thump to the floor beside me. After a second of gazing dazedly across the room, I decided I could move again after all and dug into my backpack to pull out my Kindle.

Nothing tore me away from distressing thoughts like a good book.

But every time the hero and heroine shared a heated glance, I kept thinking back to Colton, and the way he’d looked up at me when I put the condom on him or when I’d cupped his cheek after class today, or the first moment we’d met when he’d told me I looked like Rihanna.

This wasn’t working.

I swapped that book for a grisly murder mystery Chad had insisted I read.

It was bloody and gory and would probably give me nightmares if not for the fact I had about twenty different dream catchers hanging from various places around my room. But the story successfully nabbed my attention. I barely even noticed my two roommates returning to the apartment after they finished their classes.

I think Tyla might’ve even asked me how my day went. I hoped I told her it was fine, but I’m not certain.

I was hiding, couldn’t they tell?

With no idea how much time had passed, though I was certain I was about to find out who the killer was, a figure stomped up to the couch and stopped right in front of me.

I glanced up at Tyla as she set her hands on her hips.

“That’s it!” she told me in no uncertain terms. “I can’t handle watching you mope around the apartment a fucking second longer. We’re going out. Tonight.”

I blinked and brushed my bangs out of my face. Since I hadn’t been moping at all, but sitting here calmly reading a book, I guessed, “Theo’s hanging out with his basketball friends again, huh?”

She scowled, probably because I’d just hit the nail on the head. “That is totally beside the point. This is about you, JuJu. You need to stop pining over some unavailable, married man, who is probably cuddling with his wife this very—”

“I am not moping over him,” I muttered, grinding my teeth to keep from announcing I was moping over his brother.

God, I was a mess, such a mess, in fact, that I was too humiliated to confess to my roommates that I no longer even thought about Brandt; I was too busy stressing over Gamble Number Two now.

“Well, whatever you’re doing is depressing as hell. And it’s going to stop. Right now. Sasha!” She clapped her hands before cupping them to her mouth and bellowing, “Girls’ night out. Go find me something to wear.”

“Girl, what’re you yelling about?” Sasha asked, strolling into the living room. “Chad and I have plans to…” Her words trailed off when she entered the living room and took stock of me moping on the couch and Tyla hovering over me in mama bear mode. A second later, she nodded. “Yeah, okay. I can cancel with Chad. Are you in the mood for sexy or comfy?”

“Ooh, let’s go comfy. I already got my man; who do I need to impress?” Tyla hurried after her as Sasha disappeared back down the hall. Their voices floated back as they debated over what the other should wear, and then Tyla yelled, “Be ready within the hour, JuJu! Or your ass is going as is.”

I groaned and set down my Kindle. She wasn’t kidding around when she used that tone of voice. I’d probably best get my ass ready then, though the last thing I wanted to do was mingle with a bunch of immature, drunk college kids. I’d listened to a pair of girls talk before my last class today and damn, I felt so freaking old, too old to attend one of their parties, and I already knew that’s exactly where Tyla and Sasha would want to go.

I guess I could’ve just refused, but yeah… Maybe I really should stop moping and get out of the apartment. If nothing else, it’d help me stop thinking about him for a couple hours.

Still…

“It’s a Wednesday night,” I called. “We all have classes in the morning.”

“Like we’ve never gone to class hungover with two hours of sleep before,” Tyla’s answer echoed down the hall.

“But today was the first day of class,” I whined.

“Especially after a first day frat party under our belt,” Sasha added.

“But it’s our senior year?” Shouldn’t we be more mature than this by now?

Except they both yelled, “Exactly!”

Ugh. I wasn’t going to get out of this unless I pissed them off beyond all prissiness. And I didn’t want to do that.

So I trudged to my room and raided my closet. On the other side of the wall, Sasha and Tyla burst out laughing, the muffled sound cheerful and upbeat. I eyed the wall, longingly, wondering what they were talking about.

I had met Sasha first. We’d worked together at a restaurant across town our sophomore year. When we’d both found ourselves needing a place to live, we’d decided to rent this place together. Later, when I’d met Tyla in a class we shared, I’d invited her to live with us too because she’d broken up with her cheating, asshole boyfriend at that time and needed a room. And less than a month after she’d moved in with us, she and Sasha had bonded like soul mates.

I knew it was petty of me to feel left out and wish they wanted to share clothes and secrets and makeup advice with me the way they did each other, but most of the time, I couldn’t help it; I envied their close relationship pitifully.

Dressing by myself, I debated between a couple of romper jumpsuits before deciding on a pair of dark hip-hugging jeans with a black turtleneck top that cropped short at the waist and had a heart-shaped hole at the throat large enough to show off some decent cleavage. And then, since it was winter, I pulled on some furred boots with spiky heels. I checked out my hair, swishing the long bangs in the front to the side before checking out the short crop in the back; I’d fixed it this morning. Just a little fluff and spritz here, and I moved onto my face. After a couple minutes of touching up my makeup, I went to check on my girls.

Pausing in the doorway to Sasha’s room, I found them both half-ready.

Tyla noticed me first. With a scowl, she demanded, “How the fuck do you always look so flawless after five minutes of prepping?”

With a confused frown, I checked my Fitbit. “It’s been fifteen minutes.”

“Whatever.” She swished out a hand and turned back to the mirror where Sasha was fluffing at her hair. “You’re a bitch.”

“Such a bitch you guys don’t want me going with you tonight?” I asked hopefully.

“Ha. Don’t even try to get out of it. You’re going.”

With a sigh, I sat on the end of Sasha’s bed and examined my nails for imperfections. I touched up my polish every night after tying up my hair for bedtime. Lots of people thought my nails had to be fake press-ons or extensions because they were so long, but nope, they were the real deal. One hundred percent Julianna Radcliffe claws.

For some reason, that made me think about Colton’s hair and how that had been real. I swear, it’d been as soft as rabbit hair, but thick and lush and beautiful. It was kind of depressing to know I’d never get to touch it again. If I could manage to get a seat behind him some day in class, I’d probably stare at his hair the whole damn hour.

I seriously loved his hair.

“Oh my God, honey, you need to stop thinking about that man already.”

Feeling guilty, I jerked my gaze up to find both my roommates watching me as they each held up some form of makeup to apply the finishing touches to their faces.

“He’s married.”

I opened my mouth to tell them I wasn’t thinking about Brandt. But it was useless. I wasn’t ready to confess the truth, so I took a deep breath and commanded, “Then distract me. What happened to you guys today? Did Jeff ever find out you put that note on him while he was sleeping during class?”

Tyla laughed and turned back to the mirror. “Oh, hell yeah, he knew. He tried to follow me after class and get all up in my grill about it, but Theo was waiting for me and chased him off.” With a dreamy sigh, she tossed down her lipstick and patted a wayward piece of hair into place. “Damn, I love my man. He’s so much better than Jeff ever was…and I ain’t just talking about in the looks department neither, if you know what I mean.”

When she winked and bumped her hip against Sasha’s, Sasha hummed in her throat. “Mmm, you do have a good one. He’s almost as good as my Chad.”

“Oh, honey, I don’t think so. Did you see the necklace Theo gave me for my birthday? My boy is ballin’.”

“Well, do you see the messages Chad leaves me every morning on my phone telling me how beautiful I am and how much he loves me? Theo don’t do that, does he?”

Tyla opened her mouth to retaliate, but I cleared my throat. “I think you both have amazing boyfriends.” Though truth be told, I liked Chad tons better than Theo.

They glanced at me simultaneously, and I could tell exactly what they were thinking from their expressions. Remembering their single, loner roommate didn’t have a man, they winced in sympathy. But a second later, their gazes filled with determination.

“You know, I can always get Theo to set you up with someone on the basketball team. There’s this tall, gorgeous transfer student from Jamaica who looks like he could make a girl’s toes curl all night long.”

“Or Chad’s friend Reggie always asks about you,” Sasha added helpfully.

I sighed and offered them a sad smile. “Thank you, guys. Really. But…” I shook my head. “With work and the class load I have this semester I really don’t have time for a boyfriend.”

“You said that last semester,” Sasha reminded me.

“And the semester before that,” Tyla felt the need to input.

“In fact, the only guy you’ve seemed even remotely interested in since Shaun is this Brandt Gamble stranger you work with.”

“That neither of us has ever even met.”

“Or seen a picture of.”

“Well, he’s married now,” I broke in before they could bombard me any further. “So, that’s a dead end and should stay dead…please.” When they merely set their hands on their hips as they gave me the look, I sighed. “I really just want to focus on me right now, okay? I’ll think about dating again after I graduate and find a job. I swear.”

“We’re not saying you have to find Mr. Perfect or anything, sweetie. We just think it’d do you a world of good to relax every now and then and have a little fun.”

I arched an eyebrow. “I have a vibrator.” But even as I said that, guilt tickled my conscience because I didn’t mention the fun I’d had a week earlier. “Any fun a man could provide I can take care of myself.”

Except, no way could a vibrator accomplish what Colton had. I’d been so starved for him I’d been willing to be with him in the middle of a reception hall where anyone could’ve walked in on us. The way he’d kissed and touched me, yeah… no pulsating stick of plastic could ever replicate that.

“Mmm, honey.” Tyla shook her head and waggled a finger. “You obviously haven’t been with the right guys if you think that way.”

“A vibrator can’t kiss you as if you’re the air they breathe,” Sasha added dreamily.

True that. Colton’s mouth had been pretty damn magical. And so had his hands.

“A vibrator can’t pick you up and push you against a wall before—”

“Okay, okay, okay!” I yelped, lifting my hands because I couldn’t stop thinking about how Colton had picked me up and thrust me onto that table. But then I had to add, “But truthfully, a vibrator won’t lie or cheat or ruin my faith in men completely.”

“Damn,” Tyla murmured, shaking her head. “If Shaun were here right now, I would kick that little shit straight in the nuts. He really destroyed you.”

I sighed. “No. Yes. I don’t know. All I know is I’m not in a hurry to hop back into a bed with just anyone.” Not the way I’d been in a rush to hop onto that table with Colton at the wedding reception.

Dammit, that had nothing to do with this discussion. This was about boyfriends and commitments. That had been nothing but drunken revelry. A mistake. A really amazing, breathtaking mistake, but still clearly a mistake of drunken proportions.

“And all I know is that time’s wasting, my ladies.” Sasha clapped her hands. “If you don’t want a man, JuJu, that’s fine. But you still need to make time for us between all your schooling and working, and right now, we have a par-tay to get to.”

“Yeah,” Tyla cheered. “Dancing and drinks. Who needs men when you can have a girls’ night out?”

I stood up, glad we’d veered away from talking about me. “Then let’s get our drink on.”

After making a few calls, Sasha discovered the biggest party going on around campus was being hosted by the Kappa Sigma fraternity. She’d heard there were four kegs and a band playing on the back deck. I believed it. In the fall, when it’d been warm, they’d had this huge waterslide and tiki torches everywhere. Those Kappa Sigma boys knew how to throw a party.

Which made me less enthusiastic to attend. I could handle myself in a crowd, but I wasn’t in the mood for one tonight.

And boy was it crowded. We had to park about three blocks away because the place was already so congested by the time we arrived.

“This is going to be so much fun,” Tyla screeched as she hooked her arm through Sasha’s and swept her ahead.

Left behind, I shivered into my coat and rubbed my arms as I trailed them. Feeling lame and wishing I really had talked my way out of attending, I followed them into the yard where the crowd thickened almost instantly. People were freaking everywhere, laughing, dancing, talking, drinking.

I drew in a deep breath, ready to find my own drink when I passed a row of guys sitting on this short concrete wall-divider thing. Whatever it was, it rose just enough above the ground that their feet had to hang down and couldn’t touch as they sat on it. I really didn’t notice them, was more just aware of them there out of the corner of my eye as I began to pass and tried not to lose sight of Tyla and Sasha in front of me. That was, I didn’t pay them much mind until one of the guys stuck out his leg, barring my path.

I jerked to a halt and stared at the jean-clad leg with arched-brow annoyance before slowly swerving my attention to the asshole’s face. The expression I sent him clearly told him he needed to let me pass immediately if he wanted to survive the night with his junk intact. But my ire quickly morphed into shock when I met a set of familiar brown eyes.

He smirked. “I figured I’d get bitched out again if I didn’t at least say hello this time.”

My heart skipped a beat, and my breathing hitched into high gear.

Colton was here.

COLTON’S CHAPTER | 10

Dammit. I couldn’t escape Julianna anywhere, could I?

Sarah had shown up at our place earlier, announcing she was going to help Noel watch the kids tonight, ergo I needed to get out for the evening and go do “college-guy stuff,” as she’d called it.

“It’s the first day of the semester,” she’d told me as she’d shooed me toward the door. “Go. Celebrate.”

So I’d left, though I felt guilty all the way to my truck. Aspen hadn’t come out of her room once today, and Lucy Olivia had been fussy, or at least she had been when I’d been home from school. It didn’t seem like a good time to go out and celebrate anything.

I would’ve gone to Forbidden and bothered Brandt at work. Since I was eighteen now, I was at least allowed through the doors while they were open. But I hadn’t really talked to him since he’d returned from his honeymoon. I was still sore about the whole “you owe me” thing, not to mention the fact that he’d unknowingly cock-blocked me in the worst way possible. Plus, I didn’t want to risk seeing Julianna there in case she was also working. And I really didn’t want to see the two of them together.

They played this cutesy game whenever they worked together. Julianna was determined to create her very own alcoholic mixed drink, and she and Brandt often collaborated on mixing different concoctions and taste testing them. They smiled and laughed a lot when they did it too, and I didn’t want to see that tonight because right now I kind of hated that special thing she shared only with him.

So I called Caroline.

“Ass muncher!” her husband answered the phone, seemingly glad to hear from me by the tone of his voice. An instant later, he demanded, “Why’re you bothering me?”

I snorted. “Like I called to talk to a scroatbag like you. Get my sister on the line.”

“She’s got more important things to do than talk to a shit stain like you. She’s busy wiping my kid’s ass.”

My two-and-a-half-year-old niece Teagan was in the midst of potty training, and she was being a resistant little turd—much like her father—so I asked, “Diaper or toilet?”

Ten sighed. “Still diaper. I swear, that kid’s going to shit her pants until she’s thirty.”

With a laugh, I taunted, “And you’ll have to change every single one of them.”

“Hey, fuck you. Oh wait. Here’s Caroline. Later, goat breath.”

“Possum fucker,” I returned in farewell, only to shake my head as a two-second pause ensued until my sister took control of the phone.

People told me I acted a lot like my brother-in-law, Ten, but I didn’t see it. He was lame; I was awesome. Enough said.

“Bubba!” Caroline greeted. “What’s going on? Everything okay?”

I had no idea how she could sound both happy to hear from me and worried for me all in the same breath, but she managed it nicely.

“Yep, it’s all good. Sarah came over to help with things only to kick me out of the house for a couple hours, so…wanna make a couple Vines?”

“Oh, man, I wish I could, but Oren picked up a new client today, so he and Teagan and I were going to go out for dinner to celebrate. But you can come with us.”

She was the only person I knew who called her husband by his real first name. It made me wonder if his clients called him Oren or Ten.

Yeah, he was probably Mr. Tenning to them, which made me smirk. Mr. Tenning? How professional. He probably wore a suit and tie when he met with them too, like some kind of skilled architect or something, which I guess he was, but still…weird.

“Colton?” Caroline asked.

“Hmm? Oh, right. Sorry. No. You guys go ahead.” I wasn’t going to crash their family night out. “I’m not hungry.” I was fucking starving, especially since she had mentioned food. But with the mood I was in, I already knew I’d feel like a fifth wheel if I tagged along. “Maybe some other night.”

“Yeah, sure. Anytime. I had this idea about a Vine where someone tells you to log online to some website, and in the next scene you’re cutting a literal log off a tree with a chainsaw, asking, ‘is this big enough,’ or something like that.”

“Sweet. I like it.” I nodded, already thinking through the details to accomplish it. “Do you have a chainsaw?”

“Why would we have a chainsaw?” Caroline sounded perplexed. “There are no trees in our yard.”

“So we have to get our hands on a chainsaw and a tree someone is willing to let us maim?”

Caroline sniffed as if irritated. “Well, I didn’t say it was going to be easy.”

“I suppose you want me to come up with both the tree and chainsaw too, huh?”

“Yeah, would you? You’re such a doll, thank you!” In the background, I heard a male shout and then a toddler’s shrieking back talk. “Oh, geesh. I gotta go. Love you. Bye.”

She hung up on me before I could say anything back, and I mumbled a delayed farewell as I stared at the dead phone. Typical of her to race off in the middle of a conversation. I always felt a little abandoned when she did that to me. But glad I had a mission now, I called Asher, hoping he had a chainsaw and a bushy tree he wanted trimmed.

He had no chainsaw and wasn’t willing to let me touch one of his trees either. “You’re not cutting up my trees, kid. My squirrels need those.”

And that was that. End of discussion.

I knew Pick had trees in his backyard, but I’d already begged enough from him lately. Caroline and I had about a dozen awesome bar skit ideas we wanted to post on Vine, so we were probably lucky enough Pick had given us some time in Forbidden after hours. We shouldn’t push our luck by begging for more shit from him.

I knew Felicity and Knox didn’t have a tree in their backyard.

I was about to call Sarah’s brother, Mason, because they had trees—not sure about a chainsaw—but an incoming call from one of my buddies I’d known since high school waylaid me.

“Dude, are you coming to the Kappa Sigma tonight? You are so missing out right now. There are chicks everywhere. Hot chicks. Hot half-dressed chicks.” And alcohol too, apparently, since he sounded about as toasted as I’d ever heard him.

“I, uh…” When I realized I was trying to think up an excuse why I couldn’t make it, I paused.

What the hell was I doing? I had no reason in the world not to go, except I hadn’t been in the mood to do much of anything outside family shit since…well, Julianna.

I didn’t like realizing that. I didn’t like how I’d given her that much power over me. She’d been on my mind every day since that night. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her, I hadn’t been able to throw her underwear away, and I hadn’t been able to look at her after she’d tried to hide from me the day after Brandt’s wedding when I’d gone to the bar to see her.

I’d been ready to move past her drunken slip and actually apologize to her for the way I’d taken off, but then she’d ducked behind the counter when she’d seen me walk in. I don’t know why that made me so irate, maybe because she’d promised she wouldn’t regret anything we did, when clearly she regretted the fuck out of it. But I lost it. I breezed past her and ended up making my cover reason to be there—to talk to Pick—the only reason I was there.

I’d been ready to forget about her completely after that—or, you know, at least try to—but then I’d bumped into her in philosophy class and then she’d bitched me out afterward for ignoring her at Forbidden, when actually, I had kind of thought that’s what she’d wanted me to do since she was the one who’d hidden from me in the first place. But now I had no idea what she wanted. I just knew that whatever I did around her was going to be wrong…which irritated me even more.

Dropping the philosophy class we shared had been tempting, but ridiculous, so I’d stayed on, thinking it was such a large class we’d probably rarely cross paths anyway. Hell, we’d probably run into each other at a party more than we’d be forced to interact in that class.

But I should’ve never had that thought because shit, here we were, running into each other at a party.

Jinxed myself.

I should’ve let her walk on by, but the words of her scolding me earlier after class, telling me I needed to be less contentious, echoed through my head. And before I knew it, I was lifting up my foot to stop her and smarting off some stupid comment about how I was only talking to her because she’d pretty much demanded it and I didn’t want her to bitch me out again.

Except that wasn’t the reason at all. What was worse, I didn’t even know why I felt the pressing need to make her see me and acknowledge me and talk to me. I just knew blood surged through my veins when she turned her glare my way, only for her expression to freeze with shock when she realized who she was looking at.

My heart began to pound and my breathing stalled as if I was actually worried about what I was going to say to her next and how it needed to be exactly the right words. But that wasn’t something I ever worried about, which pissed me off too, so I blurted out the first angry thing that popped into my head.

“You do realize how much you put every guy here in danger by sashaying around dressed like that, don’t you?”

Her wide, surprised eyes squinted, then her eyebrows crinkled with confusion. “Excuse me?”

I swept my gaze over her, every single spectacular inch of her. “You’re lethal, baby doll, and way too gorgeous for your own good. All the guys are going to want to hit on you, and they’re all going to limp away after you reject them and stomp on their testicles with those pointy heels of your boots. It just doesn’t seem fair to them.”

She blinked once before her lips smirked as if I’d complimented her and she was proud to be labeled such a way.

But then she chased it with a scowl.

Focusing on the red Solo cup I held, she swiped it from my grip. “What the fuck are you drinking?” After taking a sip and tasting it, she sighed and shook her head like she was disappointed. “Alcohol? Really?”

I shrugged. “What?”

“Honey, I’ve seen what alcohol makes you do.” My stomach hitched the moment her dark, intense gaze met mine. I knew she was going to do something bold a split second before she tipped the cup down and let the rest of the contents splash out onto the ground. “So no alcohol for you.”

I shook my head and sniffed. Typical. But also kind of hot. The way her brown eyes met mine was full of daring challenge. Red hot, savage challenge. It made my dick hard as a rock.

“I paid three bucks for that,” I said, making sure my expression didn’t alter and give away how much she turned me on.

Keeping eye contact with me, she dug her hand into her pocket and pulled up a roll of cash. After peeling off three ones, she stepped closer, making my body tense with craving. Then she came in closer still, nearly stepping between my parted legs where I sat, and she continued to look me straight in the eye as she slowly tucked the cash into the front pocket of my T-shirt.

I released a breath. My cock throbbed and my skin buzzed with the need to be touched. “You know, you could’ve paid me back another way,” I murmured, lifting my eyebrows in invitation.

I didn’t even think about what I was saying or how I’d labeled her a no-go zone in my mind. I just knew she turned me on like nothing else, and I wanted to taste her again.

God damn. I swear her mouth was like five inches away.

When her lips pursed into a smile, I almost groaned. “Sorry, that would’ve been worth a hell of a lot more than three dollars.”

Shit. The need to tug her in and grind her into my lap was almost painful. “Then you definitely should’ve paid me back another way.”

Her smile only grew, letting me know my words amused her. Then she reached out and traced the longest, blue-painted fingernail I’d ever seen gently along my cheek. I gave a full-body shudder as she murmured, “Be good tonight, Little Gamble.”

“Good?” My lashes wavered as I met her gaze. “What’s the fun in that?”

She shook her head and drew her finger slowly from my face. “Behaving has its rewards too.”

Eyebrows perching with curiosity, I didn’t say anything. But what the hell? Was she flirting with me now?

I was so confused, and yet completely entranced.

“Excuse me,” she cooed. “I have some balls to go break now.” The wicked delight in her gaze almost made me need to shift where I sat because my jeans had grown way too tight.

Her shoulders were rigidly proud as she strolled off in the direction her two friends had gone.

I gazed after her until an elbow jabbed me in the side. “Dude. Who was that? She was hot. I didn’t know you were into black chicks.”

Ignoring him, I jumped off the wall and wandered in the direction she had gone, unable to stay away. It took me nearly five minutes to find her in the crush, but that was okay. I needed that long to settle my racing blood enough to concentrate on anything else but what had just happened.

Julianna had flirted with me, and smiled at me, and touched me. What the hell did that mean?

I wasn’t sure but I needed to find out.

When I finally spotted her, she’d rejoined her two friends and was in front of the band, dancing for them with about fifty other people, though dancing was such a lame word for the amazing way she was fucking dirty grinding. One of her girls had spooned up behind Julianna, clutching her hip and gyrating right up against her ass while the other friend spooned against the friend in the middle.

Juli’s arms were above her head, her fingers were snapping and her eyes were closed as she tilted her face up and smiled through the music.

I stopped dead in my tracks and stared openly as she seemed to float off into the music and let it carry her mind away. Wishing I were the chick pressing her lap into Julianna’s ass, I watched her perfect body shimmy and writhe, and one fact became perfectly clear to me.

I didn’t care that she wasn’t my soul mate. I didn’t care how much she’d hurt me and pissed me off. I didn’t even care that it was Brandt she really wanted. I just knew I wanted to fuck her. I wanted to fuck her very, very badly.

COLTON’S CHAPTER | 11

By the time the song ended, I’d found myself a new drink and was sipping from it as I stood on the sidelines to watch Julianna rub and grind against her girlfriends.

The way they skimmed their hands up the other’s thighs and then laughed and leaned into each other as if they might kiss took sensual to a whole new level.

I realized I wasn’t the only one gawking when some guy paused beside me and let out a loud wolf whistle. I tensed, hoping he was watching one of the other two and not Julianna, but damn, she was by far the most gorgeous of the trio. The one in the middle was tall, maybe even taller than me and wore her hair in box braids. And the chick on the opposite side of the sandwich was the shortest. She had a nearly shaved head, the biggest loop earrings I’d ever seen, and was packing some serious curves. They were all beautiful, but Julianna remained my favorite.

There was just something about her style and grace and the way she laughed with her friends when she busted a bold move that kept my attention glued to her. As the song ended, I prayed she would keep dancing, but the dude who’d been hanging out next to me flashed forward, interrupting them. I stepped after him to pull him off Julianna, but he wrapped his arm around the shortest chick. She screamed out her surprise and jumped, whirling toward him as if to wallop him, but when she saw his face she screamed again, in excitement this time, before she leaped up and gave him a full body hug, wrapping her legs around his waist and kissing him full on the mouth.

I eased back and glanced around, hoping no one had caught me starting to act on the instinctive need to keep him away from Julianna. It was a stupid instinct, and I didn’t like that I’d been following it.

Rubbing the back of my neck in humiliation, I started to turn away. Except another dude popped forward and caught hold of the tall friend. Seeing Juli’s two friends greet their boyfriends, I paused, curious if Julianna’s significant other was going to appear and surprise her too. But she only smiled tightly at the two couples and took a tiny step away from them. I knew then no one was coming for her. She looked too uncomfortable, too much like the fifth wheel, too much like the very reason why I’d declined to go to supper with Caroline and her family earlier. She didn’t feel as if she fit in.

Hating that she felt left out, I moved toward her without thinking. She didn’t see me coming; she was too busy watching her friends and their boyfriends talk animatedly amid the four of them.

So I leaned in and said, “You told me you didn’t dance.”

She gasped and spun toward me.

Pressing her hand to her chest, she sucked in more air, her chest heaving with surprise. After taking a moment to collect herself, she shook her head. “I told you I didn’t want to dance that night.”

“Right.” I nodded. “You just hadn’t wanted to dance with me. I remember now.”

She scowled. “No. That wasn’t it at all. I was just too uncomfortable to dance at all. It had nothing to do with you.”

“Sure,” I murmured in a tone that let her know I didn’t believe her.

With a sniff, she said, “We ended up dancing, didn’t we?”

“We did,” I allowed. “After I forced you into it.”

Huffing some more, she set her hands on her hips as if she were about to give me a piece of her mind. I lifted my eyebrows and took a drink, letting her know I was all ears and ready to hear what spiteful words she had to deliver this time.

But her gaze focused on my cup and she instantly narrowed her eyes. “I thought I told you no more alcohol tonight.”

When she reached for it, I pulled the drink away. “Relax, there isn’t any this time.”

After sending me a telling look, she reached for my cup again, less forcefully this time. I let her take it, and instead of dumping it out on the ground, she took a sip. My body tensed as I watched her lick an excess droplet of pop off her top lip. She swallowed some more, and I couldn’t recall if I had ever seen anything look so freaking sexy before.

Something about watching her drink after me made me want to go into caveman mode, just pick her up, haul her over my shoulder and carry her back to my lair so I could turn into a primal beast that rutted until dawn.

My stomach clenched as I physically restrained myself from reaching for her. “You know,” I murmured, masking all outward signs of arousal. “If you think going protective big sister on me and keeping me sober is going to win you brownie points with Brandt, I should probably just clue you in now…he doesn’t give a shit if I sneak a drink every now and then.”

Her mouth opened, but no words came. I could tell I’d caught her off guard, and I wasn’t sure if I felt smug or shitty about that. I probably shouldn’t have even mentioned Brandt, but hell…he was the only thing between us.

Clearing her throat, she straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin before saying, “I thought you promised to stop all that contention you keep slinging my way.”

I took my cup out of her hand. “It’s a work in progress.”

But I didn’t get a chance to take a drink. She once again swiped my cup from my clutches. She didn’t dump any liquid on the ground, though. No, she threw the whole damn thing down, cup and all.

A split second later, her finger began to wave madly in my face. “Let’s get one thing straight, Little Gamble.”

“Yes, let’s,” I growled right back, pulling out my own pointer finger and aiming it at her nose so that we could damn near start dueling with them. “Stop calling me Little Gamble. You compare me to him every time you say it, and I don’t like that. I’m not Brandt. I could never be Brandt, even if I tried. So this is who you got, baby doll. Colton David Gamble, and no one else.”

Again, I managed to stun her speechless. “That’s not what I…I mean, I didn’t intend to—shit!” Her eyes grew big as she caught something behind me when she glanced over my shoulder.

I started to turn to see what had stolen her attention, but she grasped my arm to keep me facing her. “We should probably talk about this somewhere else. Yeah, let’s talk about this somewhere else.” Then, tightening her grip on me, she yanked me forward, hurrying through the crowd away from whoever she’d spotted.

I glanced over my shoulder but didn’t see anyone I knew, or anyone chasing after us for that matter.

“Who the fuck are we running from?”

“What?” Julianna glanced back at me, her eyes frantic and whole demeanor filled with disorder. Then she shook her head, trying to play it off, but totally failing. “No one.”

I snorted. “Right. Because I run from no one all the time.”

“We’re not running.”

“Uh huh,” I murmured. We were totally running as we wound around a group of loud, drunk guys talking in a cluster so she could use them to provide a shield for us. “And now we’re not hiding, right?”

With an irritated glance, she waved a hand. “It’s just…some guy.”

I nodded, suddenly understanding. “Ex idiot who can’t accept no, or straight-up stalker?”

She sighed. “Ex.”

“Ah.” I nodded once before frowning and glancing sharply at her. “Wait, how recently of an ex are we talking, here? You weren’t dating him when you and I—”

“What? No! Good God, no. He and I have been through for way over a year. Almost two years. Before you and I ever met. Before I even met your brother.”

“Wow.” My eyebrows spiked, impressed. “And he’s still having a hard time getting over you?” She must be pure magic in the sheets. I mean, the sample I’d tasted had been nice, and I’d been messed up since then, craving her, but to pine after her for damn near two years after having her… Maybe it’d been a good thing we’d never gone all the way. I wouldn’t want to miss her that much.

On the other hand, now I was really curious to know what it was like to get inside her if she left that kind of effect on a guy.

“I know. Thank you.” She sent me a grateful glance, and it took me a second to realize she was thanking me for being incredulous over her stalker ex’s persistence and not over the fact that I wanted to fuck her really bad. “And we were only married five months too, so why, why, why hasn’t he gotten a clue and moved on yet?”

“Whoa! Married?” I slowed to a stop, gaping at her. “Did you—hold up a second there. You just said married. You were married? He’s an ex-husband?”

When she tried to tug me back into gear but met with resistance, she sighed and sent me a harassed scowl. “Unfortunately, yes. I was married when I was twenty. It was a big, stupid mistake, but it happened, and I can’t erase it…as much as I’d like to.”

“Twenty,” I repeated blankly. Then I shook my head, too discombobulated by this entire information bomb to think straight. “You realize I’m still a year and a half away from twenty, and you’re throwing the number around like it was eons ago. Holy shit, how old are you?”

She scowled. “Not that it’s any of your business because it’s totally rude to ask a woman her age, but I’m almost twenty-two.”

I calculated in my head. “So you must’ve started working at Forbidden as soon as you hit twenty-one. Because your one year there is coming up in, what...March?”

“That’s right.” She blinked at me strangely. “How do you remember that?”

“Hmm?” I glanced at her before shrugging. “I’m a genius. So why, again, are you having me run away from your ex with you? I seriously doubt he gives a fuck about me.”

“Oh.” Startled by my question, she let go of my arm. “You’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking. You can totally go.”

“What the fuck ever.” I grabbed her hand. “I’m not abandoning you when you’re acting like this.”

“Like what?” She paused to scan the crowd. “I’m not acting unusual.” Then she must’ve spotted him, I guess, because her entire body gave a little twitch and her eyes filled with…what was that emotion? Fear? Tightening her fingers around me, she set off again, tugging me along with her.

“You’re acting completely unusual,” I argued, frowning as I glanced back. When I caught some dude scanning the crowd, I figured that was probably him.

The ex-husband.

He started to look our way, so I moved to block her. And he kept scanning his gaze past. Blowing out a relieved breath, I returned my attention to the woman weaving us through people.

“You’re the Julianna Radcliffe,” I said. “You make grown men cry at your feet when all they want to do is worship your beauty.”

“I do not!”

“You totally do. You’re a ball breaker to the extreme. Cool and unaffected by pretty much everything, except really annoying pests like me. But I bring out the scrapper in you and make you want to fight. I do not send you running and hiding, so…what the fuck did this guy do to you? Jesus, baby doll, did he hurt you?”

We reached the edge of the crowd, so she came to a halt as if afraid to step into the open night air and expose herself.

Spinning to me, she stared wildly into my eyes and shook her head. “I can’t talk about this here.”

I nodded and set my hand against the side of her throat, where I could feel her pulse beating violently against my hand. I didn’t like seeing her scared.

“I’ll get you to your car.”

She began to nod, only to wince and shake her head, gulping. “No, I didn’t drive. I rode with Tyla and Sasha. Shit, they’re still here somewhere.” She began to look around for them, but I squeezed her fingers, regaining her attention.

“Let them know you’ve got another ride home. My truck is this way.”

“Okay. Okay, thank you.” She nodded without a fight, which told me exactly how rattled she was. She’d never not-argued with me. And the fact that she actually accepted a ride from me…yeah, she was wigging out big time.

As she pulled a cell phone from the pocket of her tight jeans, I slipped off my jacket. “Here, put this on.”

Julianna glanced up from the screen where she was typing frantically and immediately shook her head. “You’ll get cold.”

“I still have two layers on.” I tugged up the hem of the hoodie I was wearing, so she could see the T-shirt under it. “I’ll be fine.” When she just stared at me stubbornly, I sighed. “Do you want him to catch sight of you, or not?”

She put the jacket on.

After bunching the long sleeves enough to poke her hands through the ends, she flipped the hood up and shifted closer to me, right up against my side, like right against my side. I looped an arm around her shoulders, glanced back for the ex, and when I didn’t spot him, I started us toward my truck.

We didn’t speak all the way there. For some reason, I knew anything I said would ruin the intimacy of the moment, so I just enjoyed the feel of her heat and soft body plastered against mine. When I pointed out my baby, Julianna slowed to a stop, her eyes widening with horror.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“What?” I asked, confused, glancing down at her.

She pointed. “I can’t ride in that. That has got to be the whitest, white-boy truck I’ve ever seen!”

I owned a red, 1980 lifted Chevy 4x4 Silverado short bed with a roll bar and flood lights. Shrugging, I silently admitted, okay, it looked like something the ultimate redneck might drive. I didn’t care; I still liked it.

“Trust me, if you were fully prepared to ride me, I think you can ride in my truck just fine.”

She sent me a scowl. “Don’t be crude.”

“Don’t knock my baby,” I flipped back. Opening the passenger’s side door, I motioned her forward. “Do you want in, or not?”

Heaving out a huge sigh, she stepped forward, muttering, “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” only to pause when she saw how high up she had to climb to get inside. “Running boards would be nice here.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “But it looks cooler without them.”

“Cool or not, I don’t know how the hell you expect me to get up there.” She grabbed the door frame and lifted one foot into the cab.

“Why, with a little help from your friendly chauffeur, of course.” Before she realized what I had planned, I set my hands on her ass and heaved her up.

She screeched out her surprise and went stumbling forward, tumbling into the floorboard of the truck. Once she was inside and whirled around, settling into the seat, she glared outside at me, where I was grinning back.

“Was that absolutely necessary?”

“Oh, yeah,” I answered. “Think of it as my consolation prize for rescuing you from your ex and driving you home without getting any action from it.”

She huffed out her aggravation, but then I swore I saw a smile of amusement seep through. “Well, I guess it was better than you trying to cop a feel of my breasts,” she finally allowed.

“Don’t worry, I felt those too, when you put on my jacket and snuggled up against my side.”

When her mouth fell open, I chuckled and shut the door. Then I hurried around to the driver’s side, only to pause with my fingers wrapped around the door handle.

I was pretty sure spending more time with her would only lead to more heartache. But honestly, nothing was going to keep me away right now, especially when she was scared.

Heaving out a bolstering breath, I opened the door and climbed in. The interior held a bench seat, so she could’ve slid all the way over to sit right next to me if she felt so inclined.

She did not.

She hugged the passenger side door and clutched my jacket to her as she gazed out the side window.

I watched her huddle into my coat a moment, wondering if it’d smell like her when I got it back. Then I shook my head and started the engine.

“So this guy’s pretty bad news, huh?” I asked as I set my hand on the gear shift and pressed the clutch before turning the ignition. “I mean, I didn’t think anyone gave you the creeps as much as I did, but if you turned to me for help, he must be pretty damn creepy.”

She turned from the window to face me, blinking as if confused. “You don’t give me the creeps.”

“Right,” I said slowly. “So, how many times did he hit you?”

“You don’t creep me out,” she argued a little more forcefully. “You… You just…”

When words failed her, I waved a hand before pulling out of my parking spot. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to explain it. I already got you all figured, baby doll.”

Her eyebrows lifted. “Oh, do you?”

“I do.”

She let out an incredulous laugh. “Then please…tell me everything about me. I’m dying to know.”

I shrugged. “Okay. Since you asked for it. You’re a fighter. You fight the things you like but don’t think you should like. You have some preconceived notion set up in that brain of yours, telling you what you think is good for you and what you want, but when something comes along that doesn’t fit into those boxes, you try to reject it. You do it every time you look at me, even though I know you like what you see, and you did it when I made you come. You fought it the entire way through.”

I could feel her tense up from all the way across the cab of the truck. “I did not,” she muttered, clearly unwilling to accept such a thing. But then, who would like hearing that, I guess.

“You did,” I murmured gently, “which you shouldn’t do, you know. Orgasms are meant to be accepted openly and appreciated through the full extent of the ride. Resisting them only hurts yourself.”

“Well, I am so sorry I didn’t even come right for you.”

“Don’t be.” I shrugged. “I liked the challenge it posed. It made me want to be the one who finally set you free, who made you come so hard there was no way to resist it, so you had to experience all of it to its complete capacity.”

Hell, I’d wanted to break through her barriers so she would accept me to my complete capacity.

“But…” I shrugged regretfully. “I guess we’ll never know what I could’ve accomplished, will we? Since I’m never going to fuck you.”

JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 12

My insides shuddered madly when Colton glanced across the interior of his truck at me. Verbally, he’d just told me he would never have sex with me, but the look he blasted my way murmured, unless you want me to.

I was tempted. Oh my God, was I tempted. But Colton really did have me figured out, the cocky jerk bastard.

If I didn’t think something should fit into my life, I did try to resist it, no matter how much I liked it or not. Liking Brandt had fit. It’d made sense, so I’d been determined to make it happen. But then Colton had come along, and he’d been wrong…all wrong except for the little fact that he’d ignited things inside me his brother hadn’t even been able to touch.

The more I fought my feelings for him and tried to convince myself he wasn’t the one I wanted, the more bottled up and miserable I felt. This wasn’t working. I wanted so badly to blurt out that I did want him, I wanted him so much it ached. But yeah, that rev limiter inside me kept me quiet.

When I saw the intersection we were approaching, I said, “Turn left here,” instead of demanding he pull over so we could get it on right inside the cab of his pickup.

I could feel the disappointment ooze off him as he turned without a word. Or maybe, the disappointment was all inside me and I was projecting it onto him, but whatever the case, it just made me feel more miserable.

I opened my mouth to apologize again for ruining the one chance we’d had to be together, but he said, “So about this abusive ex-husband of yours.”

I ground my teeth, wishing he’d forgotten about that. “He wasn’t abusive,” I muttered, fiddling with the hem of his jacket sleeve. I’d never worn sleeves this long before, and it was probably best I didn’t because I’m sure I would’ve started the nasty nervous habit of worrying the cloth between my fingers if I had. Playing with it was addictive.

“Right here,” I added. Damn, every time I shifted in my seat, this smell would waft up from the inside of his jacket and surround me. The hint of winter was masked by something that was pure Colton. It reminded me of the scent that had burned its way into my nostrils on the night of the wedding when I’d been ripping his shirt open. He’d smelled the exact same way then, too.

Colton turned where I instructed and said, “I don’t believe you. You’re not this scared of him for no reason.”

“He wasn’t abusive,” I insisted and then muttered, “because I never gave him the chance to be.”

A moment of silence followed before Colton asked, “What does that mean exactly?”

I sighed. He always had a way of making me spill everything to him, didn’t he? That was so not fair.

“One night,” I started reluctantly. “We had a fight. Our first real fight. Jesus.” I laughed and shook my head. “I can’t even remember what we were arguing about now, it was that stupid. But he got mad and swung out his arm just when I moved into striking distance.”

“Shit,” Colton whispered, shaking his head.

“He swore it was an accident and said I’d just gotten too close when he was moving his arm. Hell, it could’ve been an accident.”

“It wasn’t an accident,” Colton said.

I nodded. “Yeah, probably not.”

“It wasn’t,” he insisted. “I’ve seen plenty of people lose their shit without harming a single person around them, accidently or not.”

“I told him it didn’t matter if it had been an accident,” I admitted quietly. “I’d gotten hurt when he’d been mad, and that was enough for me. He told me I was being completely unreasonable and not even giving him a chance, and maybe he was right, but he fucking bruised me. My jaw was sore for over a week.”

With a nod, Colton murmured, “You did the right thing.”

“Hell yes, I did. After it was over, I found out he’d cheated on me anyway.”

“Well, shit.” He shook his head. “Why is he so determined to win you back, then? Or do you think he wants to exact some kind of revenge on you for leaving him?”

“Oh, he wants me back. My dad works for this huge equal rights organization. He’s kind of a bigwig there, and Shaun would love nothing better than to work there too. He thinks my dad could be his in. That’s my building on the left.”

Colton slowed the truck and pulled to the curb before killing the engine. The quiet that followed kind of freaked me out, especially after I’d been talking about Shaun.

I hadn’t lied, but I hadn’t been completely honest either. He’d only hurt me once while we’d been married. It was after the divorce that he’d gotten more physical. I’d refused to talk to him, to listen to his side of things again, and it had pissed him off. Usually, I was adept at avoiding him, but he’d managed to corner me a couple of times. Once he had pushed me down, and another time he’d grabbed my arm and tried to drag me off before Chad had caught him in the act. He’d stopped immediately and run off.

I had changed my number twice in the past two years, and we’d had to get new locks installed in the apartment once. Other than that, I’d been pretty lucky. He’d cut down his encounters to about once or twice a month these days. But I certainly didn’t want him to catch me hanging out with another man. I wasn’t completely sure how he’d react, but I didn’t want to learn either.

Wondering if he was out there right now, and loathing to step outside the security of Colton’s truck to find out, I gulped and began to shrug off his coat. “I guess I’d better give you this back now.”

But Colton was already opening the driver’s side door. “You can wait until we reach your door.”

I zipped my gaze to him. “You…no, you don’t have to walk me in.”

Except he was already outside and shutting his door. I ground my teeth and clambered after him. If Shaun had followed me home, I didn’t want Colton facing him alone.

As soon as he reached the sidewalk, I snagged his arm and yanked him to my side, not even caring if he could feel my breasts against him or not. Glancing up and down the dark street, I hustled us toward the front door.

Tripping after me to keep up, he gripped my waist to steady himself. “Shit. What the hell? You think he followed us or something?”

When I didn’t answer but dragged him into the building, he tightened his grip on my hip. “Baby doll?”

I growled when he forced us to a stop. “I don’t know, but I don’t want to risk it. I’m not sure how he’d react to me tonight.” Sometimes he smooth-talked and tried to charm his way back into my good graces. Sometimes he was more aggressive. “But I do know how he’d react to you. And it wouldn’t be good.”

Colton’s eyebrows arched. “Well, that’s unsettling.”

He started for the stairwell, only for me to pull on his arm. “I’m on the first floor,” I told him, pointing down the hall. We walked toward the third door on the right and I paused to unlock it before I faced him and blew out a breath.

“Thank you. I know I don’t deserve your help, but—”

“Save it,” he said, stepping past me and opening the door to my apartment before disappearing inside.

“Wha—hey! What do you think you’re doing?” I hurried in after him.

“If you even suspect he might’ve followed you home, I’m checking out the place to make sure he didn’t get in somehow.”

“Really, you don’t need to bother.” I trailed him past the couch in the front room and toward the opening of the kitchen. “We’ve already changed all the locks.”

That caused him to swerve an incredulous glance my way. “Which means he’s gotten in before. So yeah, I’m definitely checking the place now.”

He paused at the table and stole an apple Sasha had sitting in a basket in the middle. As his teeth sank into the red pulp, he moseyed back out of the kitchen.

“Help yourself,” I said dryly, only to hurry after him because I knew he’d start down the hall to the bedrooms next.

My mind spun, wondering if I’d made my bed or left worn underwear on the floor. Oh Jesus, I wasn’t sure what I thought about him entering my room. But my stomach swirled with an unnatural excitement, which kept me from stopping him in the living room.

“Hey, you owe me.” He waved the already half-eaten apple over his shoulder. “You kept throwing my supper out on the ground.”

He entered the bathroom first and flipped on a light, only to stop dead in the doorway. I was about to lecture him on how unhealthy it was to drink his supper, but he held up a finger and announced, “You have roommates.”

Wondering how he’d come up with that assumption, I glanced past him into the bathroom, but it looked the same as always to me, makeup and bathroom products everywhere.

“Yeah,” I said slowly. “Sasha and Tyla.”

“The tall one and the short one who were at the party tonight, booty grinding you?”

“Yes, why?” I shook my head, confused.

He shrugged. “I just figured you’d never leave a bathroom this messy. A bedroom, maybe. A bathroom, no.”

I scowled and almost told him he did not know me that well, but damn, it was kind of the truth. How the fuck did he know me that well?

“Bet I can figure out which room is yours.” He stepped past me and entered the next doorway down the line. “Oh. Well, that was easy.”

He’d already flipped on the light when I entered after him. He stood only a few feet inside my room and gazed around at all my walls, or rather at the multitude of dream catchers I had hanging everywhere. After wandering to the closest one, he flicked a hanging feather with his finger and glanced back at me. “Which one was the first your dad bought you?”

I kept eye contact with him as I moved toward the bed and pointed out the only one hanging directly above my headboard. “This one.”

He nodded, smiling affectionately as he stared at it. “That one’s your favorite.”

Of course, he’d figured that out. I watched his face as he studied every little detail of that dream catcher, and I quietly murmured, “Yeah. It is.”

He slipped his attention to me. His chocolate brown eyes held so much sadness and longing that I was a split second from going to him when he turned away suddenly and exited the room.

I drew in a deep breath and pressed my hand to my diaphragm before stepping into the hallway too. I didn’t follow him into Sasha’s or Tyla’s quarters and he didn’t stay in them long, just checked for intruders, but I did wait just outside the door to meet him when he was done being a nice, thoughtful guy and making sure I was safe.

“See,” I told him, holding up both hands. “No ex-husband lurking about.”

He shook his head. “Nope. No ex-husbands.”

“Yeah, so…I guess you need this back now.” I reluctantly began to remove his jacket.

“Sure,” he said, “unless you wanted to keep it a while and sleep with it until you’ve worn my smell out of it.”

My mouth snapped open as I gasped. “Ugh. You…jerk. I was not sniffing your damn jacket.” I slapped it against his chest, which only made him chuckle.

“I didn’t suggest that you had already. Why? Had you?”

“No,” I snapped, only to scowl and mutter, “shut up.”

The bastard only laughed harder before he brought it to his own nose. “Damn,” he murmured, lowering it again. “I actually hoped it’d smell more like you when I got it back.”

I had this sudden acute vision of him leaning over me while I was stretched out and naked on a bed, while he sniffed every inch of my body. And my hormones flipped to arousal so fast I was tempted to squeeze my thighs together.

“You like my scent.” I’d started it out as a question, but it ended up sounding more like a statement of awe. But holy shit, knowing he liked my scent as much as I liked his was fucking intoxicating.

“Why wouldn’t I?” he asked, glancing down at me because I was suddenly close enough that he had to look down, which made me realize I’d just drifted right up into his personal space. And I wanted to drift even closer. “I like everything about you, baby doll.”

Yeah, I was going to drift even closer.

When his breathing changed and his chest moved as he sucked in oxygen, I knew he was as far gone as I was. I stared up at him, my skin practically buzzing with the need to feel him against me. My gaze coasted to his hair, which I wanted to clutch so bad, then to his lips that had parted and looked dewy moist as if he’d just licked them.

When I sank near, he mirrored me, shifting in as well. My eyelashes fluttered.

He drew in an audible breath, then said, “If you’re going to kiss me again, try not to mention my brother this time, okay?”

And bam. I was done.

Jerking backward, I gaped at him in horror. “You asshole.”

He shrugged as he slipped on his coat. “Hey, I was just setting ground rules. That was kind of a mood breaker for me the first time.”

I hugged myself, feeling humiliated and small. Unable to look him in the eye, I muttered, “Maybe you should just go.”

He nodded. “Yeah, maybe I should.”

But as soon as he turned away, a pounding came from the front of the apartment. When I heard the familiar muted shout of my ex, I grabbed Colton’s arm tight.

“Shit.”

He glanced at me, his eyes squinted as he listened to Shaun holler my name and claim he knew I was here. “Is that him?”

I nodded silently, my heart thumping a million miles per minute.

Colton turned as if to go confront him, but I latched on to his arm harder. “What’re you doing? Don’t go out there.”

“I’m going to tell him to leave you the hell alone.”

“No.” I wound my whole arm around his when he tried to break free. “It won’t work. I promise you. Seeing you will only piss him off more, and then it’ll be worse for me in the future. Please don’t make this worse for me.”

When he gaped at me as if I’d asked him to cut off his manhood, right at the penis, I begged more. “Colton, please. Think about this. What do you think confronting him will accomplish?”

“I think it’ll scare him off for good so you’d finally be free of him.”

“Armed with nothing but an apple core.” I sighed. “Yeah, I don’t think so, honey.”

“Hey, I could fling the apple in his face. It’d be super gross. He might just run off, screaming like a little bitch because I gave him my cooties. You never know.”

“You won’t scare him off,” I said dryly. “He’s bigger than you.”

He snorted as if that didn’t matter, but a second later, he paused and eyed me suspiciously. “How much bigger?”

“Like twice as big. And I can tell he’s been drinking. He’s not a pleasant drunk. If you do anything right now, this is just going to come back on me twice as hard later, so please—”

“Okay, fine!” he snapped, glowering. “I won’t do anything, but Jesus, I don’t like this. He shouldn’t be bothering you after two goddamn years. Hell, he should’ve stopped bothering you as soon as you divorced him.”

“It won’t last long, I swear. He barely sticks around five minutes these days.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have to deal with this. Not even five minutes of it.” His jaw popped as he glared down the hall. “I can’t believe you won’t let me take care of it.”

I began to stroke his arm. “Trust me, anything you did wouldn’t take care of it.”

“So you think,” he muttered, only to lift his attention when the hammering on my front door stopped abruptly.

“See,” I said with a sudden smile, waving out my hand. “He’s done already. Harassment over.”

“This is such bullshit,” he rumbled.

“It is,” I agreed, allowing him that. “But ignoring it works a hell of a lot better than feeding him attention whenever he comes knocking. Now that we’ve learned not to respond, he’s stopped bothering me almost completely now.”

The lifting of Colton’s eyebrow told me he was not impressed.

I kind of suddenly wanted to hug him. He had every reason to hate me right now. I’d treated him like crap the first nine months I’d known him, and the night I had finally begun to thaw, I’d mentioned his brother while his dick was literally in my hand. But despite the bitterness that was still evident in his treatment of me, he’d been protective from the very moment he’d figured out I was in distress. I couldn’t imagine a lot of guys would do that.

“So, anyway,” I murmured, clearing my throat and feeling my cheeks heat. I brushed my long bangs out of my eyes. “I won’t keep you any longer. Thanks for…well, everything.”

He just continued to stare at me as if he thought I was insane. “Right…” he said slowly. “Like I’m leaving you here alone after that just went down.”

His protectiveness made me want to just jump him with all kinds of melty, gooey nice emotions he’d instilled in me. But my independent nature rebelled and won out. “He’s gone now.” I pointed toward the exit, letting him know he should head that way, too. “There’s no reason for you to stay.”

“And you don’t think he’s loitering outside the building?”

I gulped. That would be bad. I didn’t want Shaun messing with Colton.

Seeing my hesitation, he nodded, coming to his own conclusion. “I’m staying.”

When I opened my mouth to argue, he held up a hand. “Relax. I’m not asking to share a pillow. I’ll camp out here on the couch until your roommates make it home.”

JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 13

The next morning, I woke up fifteen minutes before my alarm sounded. Sitting upright, I immediately checked my head scarf to make sure it hadn’t come off in the night, then I snapped my attention to the closed door of my room.

I knew he still couldn’t be out there. He’d said he would leave when my roommates came home, which made me bite my lip, wondering what Sasha and Tyla and possibly even their men had thought of that. I was already aware I would have a million questions to answer.

But I’d just be honest. I’d run into a classmate, and when I’d spotted Shaun in the crowd, I’d asked him to bring me home. Enough said. They’d totally understand.

Sure.

Things had been stilted and moody when I’d fetched him a blanket and pillow to sleep on. After he’d used the bathroom, I hadn’t checked on him again or even told him goodnight, which felt weird, but…I don’t know. The whole thing had been weird. Colton Gamble had crashed on my couch. I had no clue what to think of that.

The idea that he could even still be there—unlikely as it was—had me jittery and nervous, mostly because I didn’t know where I stood with him. I didn’t think he hated me completely. There’d been moments, some really strong, intense, amazing moments of non-hate. But I didn’t think he liked me either. His strife with me still made a very robust appearance. Frequently.

Most confusing of all, I wasn’t sure where he stood with me. I knew I didn’t hate him, yet liking him felt taboo. I just wanted all this friction to end, except I wasn’t sure if I wanted it to end in friendship (though I totally couldn’t picture myself being his friend) or with mutual dislike (which was an idea that only gave me an ulcer).

Too afraid to check the living room to see if he was still around, I hurried to the bathroom and rushed through my toiletries. After that, I returned to my room to finish dressing and fix my hair and face. When there was nothing left to do but see to my breakfast, I eyed the door of my room with distress.

I probably would’ve chickened out and stayed here all day, but something Colton had said to me last night echoed through my head. I was a fighter. I didn’t run and hide, especially from him.

Dammit, I could do this!

Squaring my shoulders, I left my room. But once in the hall, I tiptoed toward the opening of the living room, holding my breath the entire way. I wasn’t sure why—if he was here, I certainly didn’t want him to catch me lurking. And if he wasn’t...then this entire covert act was moot.

Realizing how weird I was being, I exhaled and straightened my spine, entering the living room at a normal pace, only to fall to a stop with my mouth hanging open.

Oh, yeah. He was most definitely still here, passed out on my couch like some kind of sun god. The jerk. And yes, I really had to call him a jerk right now. Anyone who looked that good while they were sleeping shouldn’t be allowed to be anything but a jerk. There had to be some kind of balance in the universe.

He wore nothing but blue jeans. His bare feet were draped over the end of one armrest while he nestled his cheek on the other end. I unwillingly felt a moment of kinship with him for taking off his socks—I hated wearing socks to bed—only to scowl that thought away when my gaze made it to his chest.

But really? A guy as slim as him should not have that defined of a chest, especially when he was sleeping and could in no way be flexing his muscles.

Jerk.

Easing closer, I saw he was clutching his hand to his heart, but upon close inspection, I realized he was actually holding something. His keys? Well, maybe not a key, exactly, but something dangling from his keychain. Squinting, I shifted even closer still to see. It was some kind of tube thing; his fingers covered most of the can until I realized it was breath spray.

Rolling my eyes, I groaned. Dear Lord, he must really worry about bad morning breath if he slept clutching a bottle of breath spray.

Big ego much?

But then I noticed the other item hanging from his keychain and resting against the backs of his knuckles. He had an old, tattered and really cheesy rabbit’s foot.

It reminded me of my grandma Cicely. She followed all kinds of hoodoo traditions like whipping up homemade powders for healing and luck, and using animals’ body parts to attain success and power. She still hung blue bottles from trees outside her house to trap evil spirits in. And she hadn’t let me go off to college without a Bible and protective amulet.

Thinking of her while looking at him made all kinds of soft feelings bud inside me. But I nodded to combat those. We weren’t friends. He wasn’t here because he liked me; he was here to fulfill some civic duty toward all women.

Bolstered with that thought, I nudged one of his jean-clad shins with my bare toe. “Hey.”

The guy didn’t even stir.

So I repeated the action, speaking a little louder and nudging a little harder. “Hey!”

He jerked. “What! Fuck!” Eyes springing open, he panted out his shock until he could focus on me. Then he moaned out a sound of supreme disappointment and scowled before reclosing his eyes. “Jesus Christ, scare the shit out of me, why don’t you. What time is it?”

“Morning,” I said, having no clue. For once in my life, I hadn’t been checking the time every two minutes as I’d gotten ready for classes. I’d been too concerned to know if he was still here. “Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?”

I could see why he’d kept off the jacket and even removed the hoodie, but to strip all the layers? If he was just playing with me, I was going to be…

Well, honestly, I was pretty grateful. But I’d have to act pissed.

One of his eyes reopened to glare at me. I had to admit, it was impressive. I’d always thought glaring was exclusively a two-eyed thing, but he managed it perfectly with just that one.

“Hate sleeping in shirts,” he mumbled before grumbling out another sound and reluctantly sitting up to run his hand through his hair.

Damn, his hair looked fetching when it was messy first thing in the morning.

The jerk.

“Hate sleeping in pants too,” he added with a two-eyed scowl this time. “But I kept them on. For you. You’re welcome.”

I didn’t respond, crossing my arms over my chest as I stared down at him. “I can’t believe you really slept here the entire night.”

“Yeah.” He smacked his lips. “While your gush of appreciation over the fact that I put myself out there to make sure you stayed safe is endearing, do you have some orange juice or something? My mouth tastes like ass.”

I eyed his hand. “Says the guy who sleeps with a bottle of breath spray against his heart.”

He glanced down in surprise and opened his palm to look at the tiny bottle as if he hadn’t known it’d been there. Then he shrugged. “It’s empty.”

My eyebrows lifted. “Have you considered throwing it away and buying a new one?”

Colton’s gaze sprang to me before he blinked as if I’d suggested he throw out a lung instead. “It was a gift,” he finally answered, still staring with that insulted, scandalized gawk.

I wasn’t sure what to say to that. Who kept around an empty bottle of breath spray because it’d been a gift?

Probably someone really sentimental.

Realizing he was sentimental only chipped away at that wall I was trying to keep up between us. Dammit, I should not like this guy.

But then he went and stood up—the jerk—and holy God on Sunday. I swear, angels started singing and playing trumpets and harps and shit. I mean, fuck. His hair was perfectly messy. His chest was perfectly bare and gleaming. And his jeans, they slid down dangerously, riding perfectly low on his hips so that the waistband of his Jockey shorts showed.

I couldn’t help but remember what his cock had looked like when I’d ripped down his tuxedo pants and pulled his hard, throbbing member into my hand. I think my pussy freaking wept with joy, thinking she’d get to feel that inside her.

And then I’d ruined everything.

Clearing my throat, I folded my arms over my chest to hide my hard nipples. “Yeah, I think we can get you something to drink.”

Turning on my heel, I scurried toward the kitchen only to hear him fall into step behind me. The hairs on the back of my neck rose, knowing he was following me. Was he watching me walk, focusing on my ass, remembering what it had felt like in his hands when he’d picked me up and set me on that table?

“Ooh, coffee.” Surging past me, he darted straight to the pot that had been set to automatically start brewing five minutes earlier.

Right. So he had not been checking out my ass. I was fine with that.

With maybe a side of completely devastated.

I mean, seriously, coffee was not supposed to trump my ass. What the hell was wrong with my ass that he didn’t even rate it a single glance?

Moaning dramatically, Colton paused next to the brewing pot and closed his eyes as he inhaled.

My girly parts liked the way he appreciated coffee. And yet my emotions were still crushed over the way he hadn’t checked me out. So I had to scowl to counterbalance. Tightening my arms over my chest, I sniffed. “I thought you said you wanted OJ.”

“That was before I knew there was coffee.” He opened a cabinet, frowning, and shut it, only to open another.

“What the hell are you looking for?” I demanded. I wasn’t sure how I felt about him going through my cabinets. It seemed so personal as if he were browsing through my underwear drawer. Actually, I was probably just upset because he didn’t seem to want anything to do with my underwear drawer. The jerk.

“A mug. To hold my coffee.” He arched me a dry glance. “Unless you don’t mind me drinking straight from the pot.”

I ground my teeth. “Try the doors directly above the coffee machine.”

He did. “Ah. Practical.” Taking down my favorite to-go mug, he poured himself a liberal amount, making me worry there might not be any left for me once he was done. Then he glanced around before spotting the sugar bowl. He helped himself to two cubes before blowing on the surface and taking a tentative sip.

I might possibly have focused a bit too intently on his mouth while he did all that. But damn, the boy knew how to make drinking coffee look completely fucking sensual.

Then he had to go and close his eyes and hum out his delight as he tipped his head back to show off the way his throat worked through that first swallow.

And I suddenly needed to go change my panties.

I opened my mouth to say…I don’t even know. But I wanted to say something—anything—so he’d transfer all that delight my way.

Tyla, however, interrupted the moment, bouncing into the kitchen and looking eager and curious.

“Hey, who was the half-naked white guy passed out on our couch last night?” she blurted, only to slam to a halt, her eyes widening to the size of saucers when she saw Colton leaning against the kitchen cabinets and sipping his coffee.

He waved congenially. “Same half-naked white guy stealing your coffee this morning.” His gaze skimmed over her, and I wasn’t sure if I liked watching him check out another woman, especially one of my roommates. “Nice PJs,” he murmured appreciatively.

Tyla slapped her hands over the Marvel boy shorts she was wearing. They were really only her underwear and not actual shorts, so I guessed the warning glare she shot in my direction was for me to keep my mouth shut and not broadcast that to him. At least she was wearing a white camisole with them, which was more than she sometimes wore around the apartment in the mornings.

“Colton Gamble,” he said, introducing himself as he pushed away from the counter to step forward and lift his hand for a shake. “And you are…?”

“Colton Gamble?” she repeated dumbly, turning her attention sharply to me.

“Hey.” He grinned out his surprise. “We have the same name. Cool.”

She blinked, discombobulated by his strange wit first thing in the morning. Gaping at him another second, she returned her attention to me. “Who the fuck is Colton Gamble?”

“Ah,” he murmured with a knowing nod, not letting me answer. “I see you must’ve heard about the great and mighty Brandt Gamble. He would be my older brother.”

When Tyla whipped her attention to him and could only stare, he winked and trailed a hand down his body. “I’m the new, improved edition. Obviously.”

“Holy shit,” she whispered.

The bastard preened. “I know, right? And I don’t even work out that much.”

“O…kay,” I strained out, stepping forward and lifting my hands. I could only take him flirting with my roommate so far. “Colton was just leaving,” I informed Tyla as I propelled him back toward the living room. And oh my God, I was pushing against his chest, his very naked, warm, amazing chest.

As little electrical currents zapped up my arms from touching him, Colton sent me an irritated scowl, but I kept forcing him to reverse from the kitchen.

“I was?” he asked curiously. “But I didn’t get to meet your other roommate. I was kind of hoping she’d come strutting out in Superman or Batman panties. Hey, why didn’t you stroll in, wearing pajamas like that?”

“Because I’ve already showered and dressed for the day, which is what you should go home and do.” I picked up his T-shirt and hoodie off the floor and thrust them at him.

He gave them a disappointed glance before setting down his mug of coffee on a side table and pulling on the shirt first. Then the hoodie.

I had thought it would be a sad moment to see the last of his bare chest, but wowza, watching his arms lift before he shimmied into his clothes…art. It was pure art.

My mouth went dry. By the time he was shrugging on his jacket and pushing his feet into his shoes, I wanted him to take them all off again, just to watch him redress one more time.

“So…yeah. Catch you later.” He picked up his coffee and headed for the door.

Things inside me rebelled at his leaving, so I was trying to keep myself from saying anything—in fear I’d blurt out crazy shit, like I wanted him to stay—until I noticed what he was smuggling from my apartment as he opened the door.

“Hey, where do you think you’re going with my coffee mug?”

He paused and glanced back, lifting one eyebrow. “There were like a hundred coffee mugs in the cupboard.”

“Not insulated to-go mugs like that one.”

His eyes narrowed. Then he pointed at me. “If last night had gone the way I’d wanted it to, I’d be stealing more of your panties out of here instead of a fucking mug. Be grateful.”

Then he turned his back to me and walked off, drinking from my goddamn mug as the door fell shut behind him.

My mouth dropped open as I squeaked out my shock. The bastard had just stolen my favorite mug. And he’d insinuated that he’d wanted to fuck me last night.

Thank God I hadn’t known that then.

“Okay. What the hell?” Tyla demanded, making me jump and whirl around to find her gaping from the entrance of the kitchen.

I sighed and rubbed at a spot on the center of my forehead.

“He’s white?” she exploded. “Oh my God, why did you never say he was white?”

“Shh!” My eyes grew wide as I lifted my hands to hush her, positive Colton had to have heard her from outside the apartment, hell, probably from outside the building.

“What the fuck are you screaming about?” Sasha croaked as she stumbled into the living room, rubbing her eyes.

I blinked at her, stunned that she was wearing a Wonder Woman nightshirt. Colton had been so close on his guess that I briefly wondered if he’d peeked in on all of us sleeping this morning. But, no, he wouldn’t do that.

Would he?

The thought caused me enough pause that Tyla had time to blurt out, “Brandt Gamble is white!”

I winced. Right. We were still talking about that.

Sasha paused from scratching her shoulder. “Wait. What? You mean… Holy shit, that was Brandt Gamble on our couch all night?”

I groaned and closed my eyes. “No. Of course not.”

“That was his younger brother,” Tyla eagerly reported. “Colton Gamble.”

“Colton Gamble?” Sasha shook her head a second before her eyes grew big. “Holy shit.” She turned to me. “Wait. So…they’re only like half siblings, right? And Brandt’s much, much darker than him. Right?”

I opened my eyes and could only stare at my two friends before wincing out a helpless little shrug.

“Holy shit,” Sasha gasped. “You’ve had a thing for a white guy for almost a year, and you never told us?”

I opened my mouth. “I…I didn’t think it’d matter.”

Okay, that was a lie. I knew it would matter to these two, a lot—they’d grown up much the same way I had—which was why I hadn’t mentioned anything. That way, if things hadn’t worked out between me and Brandt—which they hadn’t—I’d probably never have to reveal one tiny little fact about him.

“Feed that bullshit to someone else,” Sasha demanded, “and tell us everything.”

Tyla and Sasha moved in, suddenly more curious than I’d ever seen them.

“Are they really smaller, you know, down there?”

“Do they kiss okay? I always thought they’d be really slobbery. They look like, you know, they produce a lot of saliva when kissing.”

I rolled my eyes and nearly confessed that white guys were totally not more slobbery than black men, but then I realized I’d have to reveal making out with Colton. And they didn’t know about him yet…well, not really.

I lifted my hands to quiet them. “Will you two calm down? I never slept with or even kissed Brandt. Our date bombed five minutes in, remember?”

Both of their shoulders slumped. “Oh, yeah. That’s right.”

They looked so crestfallen, I frowned. “Are you two really that curious about white guys?”

“Yes!” they cried together.

“Well,” Sasha hesitated. “Curious, yes. Just not curious enough to ever ask one out…like you did. I mean, seriously, girl. Are you crazy? What would you have told your dad if you and Brandt Gamble had actually started something?”

I blew out a long breath. “I don’t know,” I confessed in a hushed voice. “I guess it’s just as well we didn’t.”

“Yeah,” Tyla agreed with a serious nod. But then she focused on my face again, “But if you ever do, you know…with a white guy, you are spilling every single detail, do you understand me, young lady?”

“And who the hell is this Colton guy?” Sasha added. “How did he end up on our couch?”

“Before you answer, let me just put this out there…” Tyla lifted a serious finger. “That white boy was fine.”

“Mmm hmm,” Sasha agreed with a nod. “Even passed out on the couch, I could tell he was gorgeous last night.”

“Hell, you should’ve seen him awake and upright this morning.” Tyla growled appreciatively deep in her throat, before glancing at me. “If he looks anything like his brother, I can see why you decided to taste test a little white meat.”

“Which brings us back to the question of why Brandt Gamble’s brother stayed the night on our couch,” Sasha demanded, forcing the conversation back on track.

When both friends quieted down enough for me to answer, I shrank lower under their expectant stares. “He, uh…” I cleared my throat and winced because I knew I was going to be forced to tell them more than I wanted to. “He drove me home from the party last night.”

“Okay,” Tyla said slowly. “Why? Did you get bored with us or something?”

“Oh, shit. We didn’t make you feel left out when our guys arrived, did we?”

Actually, for a second there, I had felt pretty bummed and resentful that Chad and Theo had crashed our girls’ night out. But then Colton had shown up, and I’d forgotten all about being a lame fifth wheel.

But to my friends, I shook my head. “No. Of course not. I just…well…”

“Yeah…?” Sasha encouraged. “We know you didn’t hook up with him, otherwise he would’ve been in your room and not on the couch.”

“Unless he was really bad in bed. Oh my God!” Tyla set her hand on her heart. “They really do have mini peckers, don’t they?”

“No!” I gasped. But then my face flamed hot. “I mean…” Shit. I didn’t want them to know I’d seen Colton’s junk. Except to let them label him a mini-anything down there seemed unpardonable. “No, we didn’t sleep together. I…” Dammit, here went what I hadn’t wanted them to know. “Shaun was at the party.”

Sasha slapped her hands over her mouth. “Oh, shit.”

“Are you okay? Did he do anything?” Tyla grasped my hands and pulled my arms wide so she could get a look at me.

Uncomfortable about their worry, I pulled free of her and hugged myself. “No, he…” With a sigh, I started from the beginning. “Actually, it was fine. I didn’t even talk to him. I ran into Colton while you were greeting your guys. I know him through Brandt when he’s come into the bar before. And when I spotted Shaun, I might’ve had a small freak-out, so…Colton offered to drive me home. Then he decided to stick around and stay on the couch so I wouldn’t be alone.”

“Aww, that was sweet.” Sasha clasped her hands to her chest while Tyla nodded.

“Hell yeah, it was. Hot and nice? I’d go for that Gamble boy if I were you.”

“I second that.”

“You guys!” I squawked, gaping at them. I couldn’t believe they’d just given me their approval. That was a very dangerous thing where Colton was concerned because I might just take them up on it. Still, I had to at least try to resist. “He’s Brandt’s brother.”

“So?” Tyla snorted. “That one married someone else. He lost his chance.”

“Totally.” Sasha nodded her agreement. “Besides, Colton is hot.”

“Yeah, but…” I shook my head. “Don’t you think it’s weird? Hopping from one sibling to the next.”

“It’s not like you literally jumped from one of their beds to the next. You never even went on a full date with the first one. And it’s been almost a year since then, so, honey, you’re fine.”

“But he’s a freshman,” I felt compelled to explain. “He won’t even be nineteen until June. I’ll be twenty-two before then. That’s—”

“Four years?” Sasha laughed and waved a hand. “That’s nothing. My mom’s nine years older than my dad. And that’s never been an issue for them. It’s only an issue if you let it be one.”

True, I decided. But it wasn’t the only thing I was making an issue of. “And my dad?” I asked quietly. “Not three minutes ago, you were freaked out about him learning I was interested in Brandt. But now you’re suggesting I go after his younger brother…who’s the same color as him?”

Tyla lifted her hands. “We’re not saying you should marry the boy.”

“Yeah. Just have a little harmless, temporary fun.”

“And he looks like he’d be good for a lot of fun.”

Yes. Yes, he was.

Feeling defeated, I glanced back and forth between my friends and realized with dread, I wanted to do exactly what they suggested.

I bit my lip. “You guys are going to get me into so much trouble, aren’t you?”

They both grinned. “Only the best kind.”

COLTON’S CHAPTER | 14

“Where the hell were you last night?”

I paused, half inside the back door where I was entering my house. From the other side of the kitchen, Noel arched an eyebrow as if he were pissed.

I frowned, confused. “I texted and told you. Didn’t you get my message?” He’d been uptight lately, yeah, but he’d never cared if I’d stayed out all night before, not as long as I always checked in.

“All you said was that you were helping a friend and might not make it home until morning.”

“Yeah, well…that’s all I did,” I answered slowly. “And I didn’t make it home until morning, so…” About as soon as I spoke, though, I noticed the strain around his mouth and eyes. He looked beat, physically and emotionally. “Did you need me?” I hedged.

“No,” he answered too quickly and glanced away, retreating a step before placing a protective hand on the counter next to a bedside tray that was filled with eggs and toast, orange juice and a single daisy that looked as if it’d been plucked from the backyard.

I slid my gaze back to him. “What happened?”

“Nothing.” He looked at the prepared breakfast and gulped. “Hey, can you take this back to Aspen? I gotta…I need to get the kids ready for the sitter, then get to work a little early today.”

“Sure,” I said, but fuck. Whenever there were multiple people around to help take care of things, he always picked caring for Aspen and doled out kid duties to everyone else. Why did he want to avoid her today? I drew in a slow, worried breath. “You’re not…giving up, are you? On Aspen?”

“What?” He sliced me a shocked glance. “No! God, no. I just…” He blew out a breath and seemed to age about ten years in that one exhale. “I think maybe she needs a break,” he quietly admitted, and he looked as if he might burst into tears, “from me.”

I had no idea what to say to that. Noel and Aspen had always been so sure and steady together. Nothing rocked their relationship. And I’d built my foundation off them, so when they had turbulence, I felt it deep in my own bones.

Dazed, I just nodded, and said, “Okay.” Apprehensive about what had happened to cause Noel to take a step back, I shuffled to the tray and gingerly picked it up, wondering if I was somehow causing more problems by doing this for him.

“Wait.” He shot forward to stop me. “Here. I forgot to put this on the tray.”

I paused and watched my brother drop a folded piece of paper by the juice cup. When I lifted my eyebrows, he shrugged without explaining.

So I shrugged too. But as soon as I left the kitchen, turned a corner and hit the hallway, I snooped, glancing over my shoulder to make sure he hadn’t followed me before I unfolded the note and read what it had to say.

Okay, whew, so at least he hadn’t been lying about not giving up. But damn, he must be getting desperate if he was collecting quotes for her. Aspen had told me once that he used to send her quotes every day for her collection when he was wooing her.

He must’ve reverted back to the courtship phase, the poor bastard.

After knocking on the doorjamb to their room with my foot to get Aspen’s attention, I strolled in, only to pause when I saw all the little folded notes, similar to the one on her tray, littering her nightstand. And suddenly my chest went tight.

I had no idea how many quotes he’d collected for her, but it looked like dozens, maybe hundreds.

My brother was trying to win his wife back, and he thought he was failing.

What was worse, when Aspen looked up and saw me—not him—I swear she was a split second from bursting into tears.

“Hey, um…where’s…” She glanced behind me, looking for him before shaking her head and forcing a pathetic smile to me. “I mean, good morning. You didn’t have to bring me anything, Colton. That’s so sweet.”

“It’s my pleasure.” I carried the tray to her, but when she looked past me toward the doorway again, I decided to be frank as I settled everything over her lap. “I hope you don’t mind that I’m being your delivery boy this morning. I mean, I know I’m the best-looking Gamble and all, but I’m more of a little brother-slash-son to you, so yeah…this handsome mug probably doesn’t carry the same impact for you as, say, another Gamble.”

“What?” She transferred her gaze to my face before shaking her head. “No. Oh…no, of course I don’t mind you being here, Colton. Don’t be silly. But, uh, is everything okay…with…?”

She couldn’t even say his name, poor woman. When worry and fear crossed her features, I smiled and nodded. “Yep, Noel’s just fine. He’s getting the kiddos ready for the babysitter.”

“Oh.” Relief crossed her face before her features fell. “They shouldn’t need a babysitter. I should be watching them.”

For a split second, I panicked, hoping I hadn’t started another episode. So I straightened the tray more squarely over her lap and said, “He got you a little something to eat if you’re hungry.”

Perking to attention, she sat up and eyed her breakfast with new interest. “Noel made this?”

I snorted. “Of course. You think I could create this kind of fancy setup?” I flicked my finger against the flower. “And look, he left you another note.”

“Did he?” Her relief was palpable. After she snagged it and opened it to read, her shoulders fell and face relaxed.

“Need anything else?” I asked.

She looked up, happy tears sparkling in her eyes. At first, she shook her head no. But a second later, she said, “Oh! Wait, could you take this to him?” She snagged a pen and piece of notebook paper from her nightstand and scribbled something down before folding it a few times and extending it to me.

I almost cracked a joke about this being like grade school, and I was the messenger delivering notes back and forth between two people with crushes on each other. Was there a check yes or no box on her note?

But yeah…with the sensitive state Aspen was in these days, I wasn’t sure if she’d take it as a joke. So I took the paper without cracking a Colton, and hell yes, I opened it as soon as I hit the hallway.

Hers said:

Seriously, these two were so weird. And yet, kind of sweet.

Noel was in the living room, changed into his “Economics Teacher” clothes as he settled Lucy Olivia into a car seat carrier and instructed Beau to put his shoes on.

When he looked up and saw me, anxiety crossed his face. But he quickly cleared it and asked, “Everything go okay?’

“Yep.” I waited until he was finished with strapping in Lucy O and was sliding the diaper bag over his shoulder before I held out his note between two fingers. “For you.”

He paused when he saw it. Then his gaze sought mine. “She sent it back?” The dude seriously thought she’d rejected his love note.

I rolled my eyes. “She sent a response.”

That surprised him. He tore the paper from my fingers and whipped it open. The relief that swept off him mirrored the same relief I’d seen on his wife moments earlier. When he looked up, the grin on his face was the biggest I’d seen in months. “Thanks.” He tucked the note into his front jeans pocket and called to Beau, telling the runt it was time to head out.

When the door shut behind them, I blew out a breath and waited a beat, letting the entire morning soak in. Waking up to Julianna and experiencing a whole load of I-don’t-knows concerning her, then coming home to this had left me strangely morose.

But life was going to carry on without me if I just kept standing there like a contemplative dumbass, so I turned away and headed down the hall toward my room so I could get ready for classes, which started in under an hour.

Once I was under the full spray of the shower, I finally allowed my mind to return to Julianna again. I knew I was sending her mixed signals. But then, I was experiencing mixed emotions. Half of me still wanted to flirt with her. Half of me wanted to argue with her, half wanted me to stay bitter and rude, and half…shit. Four halves didn’t make a whole.

I was so screwed.

I kind of wanted to stay mad at her, and yet I kind of also wanted to not care at all because she’d made me care too much, but then I also kind of wanted to totally forgive her. All those wants and halves and thoughts went haywire in my head. But then, whenever she was right there in front of me, she was just so sassy and challenging, I started to act like I instinctively wanted to act before my brain commanded me to act another way. It was all just fucking confusing, and I was pretty much ready for it to end.

But the more I told my brain to forget about her, the more it thought about her.

She was a tough nut to crack. Some people might refer to her as bitchy, I guess, but I knew she wasn’t. Something Sarah had said once really cemented that fact for me. When Sarah had crashed Brandt and Julianna’s one date, she’d told me Julianna had been really cool about it. She’d been kind and understanding to Sarah while Sarah had been in crisis mode and had needed Brandt more than anyone. Julianna had even hopped into the back seat of his truck to give Sarah the front without complaint. Then she’d gone and introduced herself, very pleasantly. A bitch wouldn’t have done that, which had started my in-depth curiosity about her.

Honestly, I think she purposely put up walls to appear tough and independent, but also to hide her true self, meaning, of course, I had to breach all these walls and find out what she was so desperately trying to guard. I bet once she let a person in—

But then, yeah, everything between us was just wrong, so I should really stop wondering about all that. Brandt would always be right there between us, and she still fucking regretted what we had done together at the wedding, so…

That killed it for me. At least it should have.

And speaking of Brandt, he texted me on the way to class. Just a simple big-brother check in that said:

I think it was our first form of communication since he’d returned from his honeymoon. I didn’t want to feel any resentment that he was the main reason I was stupidly achy-breaky hearting it these days. He didn’t have a clue what was going on. But I still wanted to get through a conversation with him as quickly as possible.

When he sent me the middle finger emoji for my smart-ass crack, I grinned, feeling a little more settled with things between us.

But I didn’t feel so settled where she was concerned.

What’s worse, I took her to-go mug of coffee with me to school. And then I carried it around all day like some kind of lovesick sack. And the next morning…yeah, I washed it out, refilled it and carried it to class again.

We shared philosophy at ten. I still had a gulp of coffee left in the mug when I strolled into the lecture hall a couple minutes early. I set it on the corner of my desk, then kicked back, propped my feet up, and closed my eyes, waiting.

I hadn’t realized I’d been waiting for her until I smelled her perfume when she approached. The chair next to mine shuffled as she sat next to me.

Suddenly, my entire body came to life, nostrils flaring to inhale her scent, ears twitching for every little movement she made, nerves crackling with some strange kind of adrenaline rush.

Before she could speak, I said, “You’re not getting your mug back,” without even opening my eyes.

“How did you—” Her surprised voice sizzled through me.

“You have a very distinct smell,” I answered after she cut herself off. “And what other reason would you sit by me?”

I opened my eyes and turned her way. She was flawless as usual, so I should’ve expected the punch of awareness I felt. I should’ve been braced for it. But nope, it had only gotten stronger since I’d seen her naked—well, mostly naked—and tasted her and touched her and seen where she slept.

I wanted her even more than ever.

God, I was so fucked.

“Well…” Her brown eyes were wide with surprise as she shook her head and finally stuttered, “It is my mug.”

I snickered and purposely picked it up to take a drink, taunting her. “Not anymore.”

Her eyes flared with challenge as she watched me, and dammit, dammit, dammit, why did that turn me on so much? But instead of telling me off, which was what I expected, and kind of craved—wasn’t I just a diabolical, masochistic son of a bitch—she drew in a deep calming breath, and steadily responded with, “You really need to stop stealing things from me, you know.”

“Things?” I arched my eyebrows, wondering why she’d phrased it as if I’d taken more than a cup from her.

“Yes!” she snapped. “Things, plural. My mug. My underwear.” Her voice went hushed and she moved in closer as her teeth clenched in ire, and damn…that so did it for me. I wanted to sink my fingers into her hair, yank her forward and kiss her hard and savagely.

“Oh yeah. Your panties.” I shrugged all nonchalant-like as I took another sip, even though I’d run out of coffee with the last one. “I threw those away, sorry.”

I regretted the words as soon as I said them, especially when her mouth opened as if I’d just stabbed her in the stomach.

Shit, I was such a bastard. I started to confess I still had them. I probably would’ve even offered to wash them and fold them and return them to her completely unharmed, along with her mug. But she narrowed her eyes and reached for her mug. “Give me my goddamn mug back!”

Being that it was still in my hand, I merely tightened my grip and refused to let go. No matter what thought had just crossed my mind a split second ago, I couldn’t give it up. Not while she was arguing with me. Besides, I needed this mug. It was hers. Which was probably why I really needed to loosen my hold and just let it go, but that stubborn gene in me refused. I was keeping as many pieces of her as I could possibly handle.

“No,” I muttered when she really started to yank on it and it slipped a couple inches between my fingers. Thinking quick, I leaned forward and licked the silver side. “There. I licked it. It’s mine.”

“Oh, well, if that’s all it takes to own something…”

Then she did the craziest thing in the entire world. She leaned in too, much like I had done, but her tongue didn’t go anywhere near the mug. It lapped its way up the back of my hand that was holding the cup.

My mouth fell open as she jerked upright and gaped right back at me, her eyes wide with shock as if she couldn’t believe she’d just done that either.

But holy shit, had she just claimed ownership of me?

What was even crazier, I think it had worked. Because in that moment, she did own me. She owned me completely.

“I…” She shook her head as if she were about to deny it, retract what she’d just done and take it all back. And I swear, if she had, I would’ve gotten up and left.

Except she wasn’t given a chance. The professor started class and we both straightened upright in our chairs and turned to face the front of the room, moving stiffly like robots. I honestly don’t think I was the only one who sat there like a frozen statue through the whole hour. I could practically smell the tension oozing off Julianna as she experienced the same dazed reality I did.

My heart pounded hard in my chest, and my muscles kept twitching with anxiety.

I wasn’t sure what this meant. I wasn’t sure what to do about it.

I just knew I liked her, despite everything. I was attracted as hell to her. But it seemed as if I shouldn’t be. I mean, what about Brandt? What about everything?

I was already dealing with enough shit. College, all the drama at home, my Vine business. I didn’t have the time or energy to be this mixed up over any girl. The back-and-forth with her was driving me crazy. I just…I needed a break. I needed to clear my head.

As soon as Dr. Taris called class, I shot from my chair, grabbing my books and mug, and I rushed from the room. Julianna gasped my name as if she wanted to talk to me, but I just couldn’t. I needed to process this.

JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 15

I was still in a daze as I watched Colton race from the lecture hall.

I couldn’t believe what I’d done, but I didn’t regret it. The moment our shocked gazes had clashed after my tongue had claimed his skin, I’d been zapped with this surge of energy. He’d stared back almost as if he’d been afraid as if his entire future had just been laid out for him, whether he liked it or not, as if he realized he was mine now.

It was a powerful, almost overwhelming sensation. I sat, shell-shocked for the first half of the hour. Then I’d finally dared a sidelong glance his way only to find that he was still frozen with his own shock. For some reason, that made me feel better. I wasn’t the only one who knew something momentous had just happened. But apparently, I did seem to be the only one who needed to know what the momentous thing was.

I don’t think I’d ever seen a guy run away from me like that before. It probably should’ve worried me that he was resistant to the whole idea, but I don’t know. I just wasn’t. All it really filled me with was this determination to confront him. Right then.

So I gathered my things as quickly as possible. He’d gotten a good start, and all the people I had to dodge around were a nuisance. I panicked when I reached the entrance of the building and pushed outside, unable to immediately spot him. I turned in a circle, searching the stream of students coming in and going out.

Dammit. I’d lost him. I kept walking, not even sure which path he’d taken. Fate was on my side when I caught sight of him up ahead, standing at the end of the main courtyard in the center of the campus with his back to me.

As soon as I was within hearing distance, I called, “Colton!”

He ignored me, though I was sure he heard me. Instead of suffering through the humiliation of calling his name again and having him ignore me—again—I stormed closer and jammed my hands on my hips.

“Colton, dammit. I’m trying to talk to you.”

Admittedly, not the best communication opener of all time, but I was anxious to get to the meat of this. I needed a freaking clear understanding because the runaround between us was wearing me out.

Without turning his attention to me, he continued to watch something across the quad as he answered, “If you fucking apologize to me, I’ll never forgive you.”

My relief was instant. If he didn’t want me to apologize that had to mean he didn’t hate what I’d done. If he didn’t hate what I’d done, I could deal with the rest.

Cocking up a sassy eyebrow, I said, “Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it. You’ve never forgiven me for any apology I’ve given you.” My words faded as I realized how true that sentiment was. Struck straight in the chest with dread, I blurted. “Holy shit, you don’t forgive me, do you? For what I said that night at the wedding?”

He finally glanced at me, and his eyes swirled with emotion. I couldn’t tell if that was a yes or a no.

Instead of answering, he pointed in the direction he’d been staring. “You see that girl over there?”

“What?” I blinked and glanced out into the quad.

“The redhead sitting on the bench by herself, close to the big evergreen tree, doing homework.”

“Yeah…” I said slowly, crinkling my brow with confusion as I turned my gaze back to him. “What about her?”

“First month of college last semester, back in August,” he murmured, sliding his gaze contemplatively back to the redhead. “We met at a party. Started talking, had a couple drinks.”

I swallowed, really not liking where this was headed.

“I was into her,” he went on. “I mean, of course I was into her. She was fun and smart, pretty, easy to talk to. So we ended up in the back room and, you know…” He gave an uneasy shrug. “We hooked up.”

I swerved back to the redhead and gaped at her with new insight. “You had sex with her? With that girl?”

My stomach immediately cramped, and my vision wavered. I had to blink a few times to clear my eyes, suddenly hating the oblivious redhead who was tucking a long strand of bright red hair behind her ear as she flipped a page on her book. I didn’t care that it had happened months ago, back when Colton and I had barely even known each other and he’d probably only flirted with me at the bar to tick me off, back when I never would’ve even entertained the idea of starting something with him. I hated her anyway because she’d had him and I hadn’t.

So why the hell was he telling me about her? Did he want to make me jealous?

“Yeah,” he mumbled, as if reluctant to admit his escapades. Then he added, “We must’ve passed out or something afterward because the next morning I woke up to her sobbing hysterically. She was stumbling around, yanking her clothes back on, and mumbling about how our night together had been the worst mistake she’d ever made.”

I turned to him and frowned when I noticed he looked extremely regretful.

“I…” He shook his head and had to start over before meeting my eyes. “I never had a girl regret being with me before. It sucked. I mean, it really, really sucked. She was so upset, and nothing I said would make her feel better. It wasn’t like I’d forgotten her name or was looking for a one-night stand, either. I would’ve been perfectly willing to see her again and maybe start something if she’d been interested. But she ran off without even talking to me or giving me her number, or an explanation, or anything. And every time I’ve crossed paths with her since then, she’s turned around and fled in the opposite direction, like, I don’t know, I’m some kind of awful piece of shit or something for taking advantage of her because she’d been drunk or whatever, which I didn’t think I had done. I hadn’t exactly been sober myself. But then…then…” He jabbed his hand back toward the redhead. “Then I saw her hanging around that guy.”

I glanced over just in time to see a guy approach and sit next to the redhead. When she looked up and saw him, she smiled and kissed him on the lips.

“And then I had to wonder,” Colton continued, “did she have a boyfriend then? She never mentioned a boyfriend to me, and she was the one who suggested the back room. She knew exactly where to take me to find us a spot. She even kissed me first. So is she just a cheater? Did she turn me into a fucking cheater?”

“No,” I said sternly, shaking my head. “If she came on to you and never once told you about another guy in her life, then that’s all on her. Not you.”

He shook his head. “And yet that doesn’t make me feel better at all. All I know is that that girl right there is so torn up about what we did that she purposely avoids going anywhere near me. And it’s my fault, dammit.” He shook his head. “I hate this feeling. I told myself I was never ever fucking around with any other wasted chick again. I was never going to be anyone else’s drunk regret.” He suddenly glanced my way. “But then you came along.”

My lips parted with shock. “What?”

“You fucking lied to me,” he accused. “You said you wouldn’t regret it. You said you wanted me. You even swore on your heart. But what was the first thing you did when I stepped inside Forbidden the next night to see you? You fucking hid behind the counter to avoid me.”

Holy shit. All this time, I thought he’d been upset because I’d said what I’d said to chase him off that night. But no. That didn’t seem to be the reason at all.

I’d had no idea he’d been feeling bad about us because of my reaction.

“Oh my God, Colton. No.” I began to shake my head because that wasn’t why I’d hidden. That wasn’t right at all. But he only arched an eyebrow.

I licked my lips and took a deep breath, glancing around for something to help me explain myself, but I found nothing. Just a bunch of people passing us on the sidewalk, and some of them glancing curiously our way as we had this very private conversation.

“Come with me,” I demanded. Taking his hand, I started toward the student union, thinking there had to be a place there he and I could talk without a million other people witnessing what we were saying.

Surprised when he actually came with me without any kind of resistance, I glanced at him, but I couldn’t tell what was going through his head. When his solemn brown gaze met mine, an off-the-wall thought struck me.

“Where’s my mug?” His hands had been free of stuff since I’d caught up with him at the quad.

For a moment, I thought he’d tossed it in the first trash can he’d passed because he’d been so mad at me, but he said, “My mug. And I put it in the side pocket of my backpack. Why?”

I couldn’t admit that I kind of wanted him to keep it now. So I focused my attention on opening the glassed doors of the student union and dragging him inside.

The walls were glass too. The stairs that led up to a second level were a polished chrome, but I ignored those and started around them, heading toward a commons area where I knew a lot of couches were.

But he yanked on my hand, stopping me. We were still terribly exposed, the glassed walls showed how many people were passing by on the outside of the building. But it was more secluded than before. Besides, I was pretty sure I wasn’t getting him to budge a step further. So I guessed this would do.

He lifted his eyebrows, plainly telling me without saying a word that it was time for me to stop stalling and start talking.

I pulled him under the staircase, which was just one step more private, and then I took a deep breath.

“Okay, I was embarrassed,” I finally admitted, meeting his skeptical brown gaze. “I was so mortified by what had happened—what I blurted out—at the wedding that I was too scared to apologize to you when I saw you come into the bar the very next night.”

“Embarrassed,” he murmured, repeating the word I’d just used. “Mortified.” Then he shook his head. “Yeah, those sound like words of regret to me.”

“No,” I growled, lifting my voice and stomping my foot. “I don’t regret what I did with you, you idiot. I regret what I said that made you stop. I regret those stupid, awful, untrue words that sent you running out of there the way you did.”

“Untrue?” he said quietly as he stepped closer to me.

My lips parted as that realization pierced through me like a wake-up call. Wow. I really didn’t regret making out with Colton, did I? And I didn’t think I would’ve even regretted it if we’d gone the whole way. The only thing I regretted was dragging his brother in between us, especially since I was absolutely, one hundred percent sure I was over Brandt.

But Colton didn’t possess such assurances. He gave a small, bitter laugh and shook his head. “Untrue my ass.”

He turned away to leave, but I couldn’t let him go. I grabbed his arm. “Colton—”

“What? What?” He spun back to me so fast I lurched away and let go of my grip on him. He clutched his head and clenched his teeth. “What the fuck do you want from me? From the moment I met you, I worshiped the ground you walked on, but all you ever did was shove my attention back in my face and treat me like an annoying, snot-nosed little brat. So I give you space, and now you’re suddenly all up in my grill like you actually do want me. I don’t get you. I don’t get what I’m supposed to do here or what you really want from me. I don’t—”

“Shh, shh.” I pressed my fingers to his lips, unable to bear listening to him because it hurt to hear how much turmoil I’d put him through. So I ended up admitting, “I don’t know...I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what I want.”

Okay, that was a lie.

I wanted him. I just couldn’t admit it.

Humiliated beyond reason, I let go of his mouth and pressed my hands to my cheeks. “Oh, God. I’m so sorry for dragging you into my messed-up head. Honestly, I don’t have a single fucking clue what I’m doing. I just know I never did anyone wrong the way I did you wrong, and I’m...I’m ashamed and guilty and embarrassed. But every time I see you, I just…I get all hot and bothered and want to attack you instead of apologize, like total animal-sex style attack you. Which has to be wrong because I’m supposed to be regretful and feel bad for what I did. And I do. Except I just...you make me…I keep having these visions of pushing you down onto some flat surface and grinding my pussy in your face and riding your tongue so fucking hard the ends of my fingers and toes blow off from the intensity of the pleasure it’d bring. But then I always want to fight with you too, like maybe even fight with you while I’m fucking you.”

I backed away from him, still clutching my face and staring with wide, frightened eyes. “And why the hell am I telling you all this? Please, God, say you’ve been zoning out for the last thirty seconds of my rant and haven’t heard a word I said.”

He caught my shoulders and stopped me from backing away from him another step. “Oh, I caught every word.”

“Shit.” I closed my eyes and prayed to sink through the ground and escape this humiliating moment. “Shit, shit, sh—”

He cut me off by pressing his mouth gently against mine.

My brain short-circuited and by the time it took me to realize we were kissing, he was already pulling away.

My lips parted as I exhaled. Slowly, my eyes came open. Colton watched me with a pensive expression. Then he licked his lips. “Okay, so...yeah. I want to fuck you too. And fight with you as well. Like...bad. Like, it doesn’t matter what you say or do to me, how much you hurt me or piss me off; I get this raging hard-on every time you’re around. Every time you disagree with me, I just want to piss you off until you kiss me and rip at my clothes. And then I want to bury my cock so deep inside you I forget my own fucking name. And then I want to make you forget yours.”

I gulped and went back to clutching my face in shame. “So I did hurt you?”

He caught my wrists and pulled my hands away from my cheeks. “Forget about that and listen to what I’m saying here. If either of us has any hope of escaping this chemical imbalance shit stirring between us before we both go schizo, we need to have sex. I’m talking no-holds-barred, hanging from the ceiling, tearing each other’s clothes off, animal-fucking sex.”

His delicious description swept through me like a hurricane. My hormones stirred to life and licked their lips, ready to climb him right there.

But…

“I don’t know. Doesn’t that sound...wrong to you?” my stupid conscience prompted me to say as I pressed my hand to my forehead.

Colton grinned one of his panty-dropping grins. “Oh, baby doll. Wrong’s just the way I like it.”

“See...” I pointed at him, frowning. “You say shit like that, and I know I should get annoyed and offended by it and want to smack your arrogant face, but no…no. Stupid me, I just want to climb you like a freaking stripper pole, shedding clothes as I go.”

“It’s because of the chemical—”

“Imbalance,” I snapped, tossing him a sharp glare. “Yeah, I got it.”

“Which is why I suggest we get it the fuck out of our systems so we can move past it.” He sounded snippety right back at me, which almost made me turn the ire on him, but then his words struck me. He’d worded his suggestion differently this time around.

Tipping my head to the side, I echoed the phrase, “Out of our system?” as I studied him. Then he’d said move past it as if he wasn’t planning on some kind of relationship or typical dating...procedure. Hell, he made it sound like—

“Are you suggesting you just want to do it one time, like you think that’ll clear all this up and we never have to...again? You think just one time would get it out of our systems?”

He shrugged. “I don’t see why it wouldn’t. Most of this whole attraction bullshit between us is probably just curiosity. Wipe that out of the equation, and boom. No more erections in class while I’m trying to listen to the lecture.”

“I am not a one-and-done kind of girl,” I said primly, only to chase it with, “but…”

He grinned, the jerk. “But…?”

Tempted, I shook my head. I had never had a one-night stand before. I turned my nose up at them. But…

“One time is basically like it never even happened,” I tried to convince myself.

“Basically,” he agreed, shifting closer, looking eager and excited. “Just a couple minutes out of one day of your entire life. Not even a blip on the radar, really. It’ll be completely forgettable, and we can move on with our lives without ever wanting to jump each other’s bones again.”

Yes.

Yes, that sounded perfect. This agonizing whatever-it-was-we-were-currently-doing was making me insane. I needed it out of me.

Besides, hadn’t my very own friends even encouraged me to have fun with no real commitment? This really could be perfect.

Except for the minutes part.

Arching an eyebrow, I said, “You mean a couple hours out of one day, right? I don’t want no sloppy, half-assed five-minute bang from you, boy. I want the full-service deal: foreplay, oral, deep penetration, and then maybe even a back rub afterward.” Yeah, a back rub sounded good so I could have a reason to maybe get my hands in his hair one last time before I never spoke to him again.

He smirked. “Trust me, I don’t do anything half-assed. Especially that.”

“Well, if you’re so sure you could keep up, then fine.”

“Fine,” he spat right back. “I will.”

And then we just stared at each other, realizing what we’d agreed to do.

Holy shit.

Colton shook his head as if to clear it. Then he squinted his eyes and hesitantly asked, “So…we’re going to have sex then? We’re really going to have sex?”

I blew out a breath, feeling dazed. “Yeah,” I said slowly. Ohmigod, what had I just said? And why did I add, “I guess so.”

“Okay, then.” His chest heaved and he once again shook his head as if he was trying to wrap his brain about this new development. “We, uh, well, we probably need to work out the when and where, huh?”

I nodded, still too shocked to think properly. “Yeah. Probably.”

This was so bizarre. We were discussing a hookup as if scheduling a boring study group. And yet when I looked up at him, I almost came. I was so turned on and ready for him now, my body was buzzing and super sensitive. But what made me really ache was seeing how hungry and ready he looked.

“I don’t work tonight,” I blurted.

He nodded. “Tonight’s fine with me.”

“Unless—” I started only to stop and bite my lip for being so impatient and wanting him sooner.

“Unless what?” he pressed, looking about as impatient and turned on as I felt for him.

I shook my head. “Nothing. I have class in five minutes. I shouldn’t skip.”

“Yeah.” He ran his hand through his hair, and oh shit…I was even more turned on now. I was so going to get my hands in that hair again when we got together. “I have class too. I shouldn’t skip mine either.”

But his jaw tensed as he watched me molest his hair with my eyes. A second later, he grabbed my hand and started striding deeper into the student union. “Dammit. We’re skipping class.”

JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 16

He only dragged me a few steps before reality struck home. “Wait, Colton. Wait!” I dug my feet in, stopping us.

He jerked to a halt and turned to me, looking distinctly in pain. I knew exactly how he felt, but one of us needed to be practical here.

“This is crazy,” I said, the God’s honest truth. Besides… “A quickie on campus is not going to cut it.”

“Fuck,” he whispered and blew out a harried breath. “You’re right.” Chewing on his bottom lip, he glanced around us. I could practically see his mind spinning as he tried to think up a way around our dilemma.

But all I could do was watch his teeth sink repeatedly into the fleshy fullness of his lip.

“Stop,” I croaked, holding up a hand. “Stop chewing on your lip like that.”

“What?”

When he paused mid-chew, his eyebrows crinkled in confusion, I confessed, “It’s sexy as hell and not helping the situation at all.”

His bottom lip popped free of his teeth as he gaped openmouthed at me. Then he shook his head. “Yeah, there’s no fucking way I’m going to be able to wait until tonight to get inside you.”

He ran his hand through his hair again and blew out a breath. I pressed my legs together, trapping the ache as tightly as possible between my thighs.

“What about an appetizer?” He snapped his fingers and grinned with accomplishment.

I frowned, confused. “Appetizer?” I wasn’t hungry. I was horny.

He nodded eagerly. “Yeah. Quick meaningless consumption to help quell the craving until you’re served the full course. And it’s all part of one eating experience, right, so technically we could still do something now, then the real deal later, and just group it all under one event. One and done.”

Ooh, an appetizer.

That was actually a genius idea.

I nodded, agreeing. I’m sure we both knew a freaking appetizer was utter bullshit. If we had a quickie here and now and then met again this evening for more, it would most definitely be two separate sexual encounters entirely.

But I found myself saying, “I love appetizers.”

“Me too.” He squeezed my hand briefly before glancing around. “So…where do we go?”

“No fucking clue.” I gulped, a bit panicky because if we didn’t find somewhere soon, I might just combust right here in the middle of everything. I was already embarrassingly wet. We needed some damn privacy. Soon.

“Dammit,” he hissed. “Come on. We’ll just…something available has to pop up if we keep looking.”

I nodded, not because I thought that was a good idea, but because any idea to find a place to get him naked seemed brilliant right about now.

So he commenced to tug me down the corridor of the student union. When we passed a closed door with an electronic sign next to it stating its next use wouldn’t be until Friday, I tightened my grip on his hand to get his attention.

Colton glanced back and then followed my gaze to the door when I gave a silent tip of my head toward it. His gaze lit with interest before he reached out to jiggle the handle.

And holy fuck, it actually opened.

He glanced at me, his eyebrows raised in question. I gulped and nodded, and he led me inside. Two slim tall windows hugged either side of the entrance, but a person wouldn’t be able to see the entire room from the outside if they were trying to peek in.

After Colton eased the door shut, he whispered, “There’s a lock,” and flipped it.

He squeezed his grip supportively around my hand and led me to the one corner where absolutely no one could see in. All it contained was a sturdy wall and a red carpeted floor. I slapped my hand over my mouth, trying not to laugh because my nerves were going wild. Giggling was a super bad habit of mine when I was this wound up with excitement and apprehension.

“Colton,” I whispered, touching my hand tentatively to his back, the warmth of his flesh immediately soaking through the cloth to greet my fingers. I wasn’t really trying to get his attention, I just felt the need to say his name.

But he turned to me, his grin radiating so much happiness his entire face freaking glowed. A part of me was actually too intimidated to touch all that beauty while the rest of me wanted to overindulge.

He reached for my cheek, and I panicked.

“Wait, uh…!” I gulped and shook my head. Ohmigod, this was really happening.

“What’s wrong?” He dropped his hand, and his brow crinkled with worry.

“Nothing.” I sucked in more air and smoothed my bangs out of my eyes. “I just…we need to set some conditions first.”

Yeah, that sounded good.

“Conditions?” He narrowed his eyes. “What kind of conditions?”

“Like...” I bit my lip and winced. “I’m not sure how to word this.” Mostly because I wasn’t even sure what to say. I was stalling because I was suddenly scared.

“It’s okay. Just say it. What am I not allowed to do?” His shoulders slumped as if he thought I was reneging on the deal already.

Unable to disappoint him, especially when I knew I didn’t want out—at all—I was only freaking a bit, I clutched his arm. “No, nothing like that. Just…actually it’s the opposite,” I added when I realized there was a condition I would like added to our deal. “I want...I want...”

His eyebrows lifted. “You want...?”

“No, I guess it’s something I don’t want. I don’t want either of us,” meaning him, “to turn down any new ideas offhand, like...I don’t know. I’m just asking you to be open-minded to suggestions that might not be your norm, and maybe testing them out first before vetoing something offhand.”

“Oh, I’m definitely open to suggestions.” He wiggled his eyebrows mischievously. “But now I gotta know what kind of kinky ideas you have stirring around in that amazing brain of yours.”

I frowned at the salacious grin he had going on. “I didn’t say I had kinky ideas, necessarily.”

He immediately stopped grinning.

I huffed out a frustrated breath. “I just don’t want to build this up in my head only for you to be a three-pump, missionary-position-only kind of guy.”

He tipped his head thoughtfully. “You don’t like missionary?”

I flushed. “No. I mean, I don’t have anything against it. I just—”

Grinning, he set two fingers against my lips. “Baby doll, do I really seem like I’m only into vanilla sex to you?”

“No,” I admitted, feeling foolish for even bringing the issue up. My shoulders relaxed.

His smile spread so wide and beautifully I felt blinded and consumed by it. “Trust me,” he assured me. “As long as my dick ends up inside you, you can Kama Sutra me any way you like.”

I nodded and blew out a breath. “Good.”

He stepped in closer, making me catch my breath. Why did his nearness always make my heart beat faster and my breathing go crazy?

“My turn. Condition number one—”

“Wait. What?” I flashed my gaze to his face. “You have conditions?”

He shrugged. “Why not? You did.”

“But I...okay…I guess.” Inside, I tensed, worried what kind of regulation he was going to put on me.

“You can’t bite your lip when you come this time.”

I blinked. “Excuse me?”

“At the wedding, when you came…” I flushed because I’d never discussed sex so openly with a guy before. But then… most of the stuff I’d discussed with Colton was confidential. I rarely—if ever—shared that kind of shit with anyone, so I guess it made sense to open up more with him about this too. “…You fought it the entire way through.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did. You locked your muscles, hid your face, and I know you bit this lip.” He reached out and softly slid his finger over my bottom lip as if to ease it from the bite I’d given it nearly two weeks before. Without telling myself to, I swiped out my tongue to taste the salty flavor of his finger.

He smiled at me and ran the back of that very same digit up my cheek. “Just promise to try to let yourself feel the whole thing, okay?”

“Okay, fine.” I rolled my eyes, still convinced I hadn’t held anything back. I mean, it’d been a pretty powerful orgasm. I remember being almost scared of it because it’d started off stronger than I was used to. And then…shit, I had tried to shut it down because it’d been overwhelming.

But I couldn’t tell Colton he was right, so I sighed and tried to make myself sound impatient. “Assuming you can make me come again, I promise I won’t try to hold it all in this time.”

With a chuckle, he kissed the end of my nose. “Oh, I’ll make you come. I plan to make you come a lot.” His chin dipped as if he were easing in for a kiss on the lips. But the moment I lifted my mouth to meet his, he murmured, “Condition number two.”

“Two?” I squawked! “You can’t have two. I didn’t have two.”

“Well, I have two. And I don’t want Brandt to know about this.” He suddenly wasn’t teasing or grinning anymore. I fact, he looked ready to walk out the door if I didn’t comply.

I gulped. “That’s fine.” I didn’t particularly want Brandt to know about it either. I mean, awkward much? But still…why was Colton so against it?

He didn’t explain. He just added, “Actually, I don’t even want his name brought up between the two of us. Ever.”

Unease slithered through me. I wanted to apologize to him once again for what I’d said that night. I must’ve hurt him a hell of a lot more than I’d initially realized.

Suddenly, this whole one-time-deal-just-to-get-it-out-of-our-systems agreement sounded like a really bad idea.

“Just curious, but...why...” I licked my dry lips. “Why don’t you want him to know?”

“Because he wouldn’t like it,” he said. “He knows you still have a thing for him, and he’d think the worst. I don’t want him thinking—”

“Wait!” I held up my hands, completely not expecting that last part. “What do you mean, he knows I have a thing for him?”

Colton closed his eyes. After a moment of deep breathing, he opened them again and said, “Who do you think sent me over to distract you at his wedding? He didn’t want his wife to worry about anything if she caught on to how persistently you were watching him.”

“Oh my God,” I whispered. I covered my mouth before slapping my arms over my chest to hug myself. “You were sent to me?”

He seemed to realize telling me that little detail was something he never should’ve done when his face froze as if he’d just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “I…”

“So, what…?” I demanded, feeling just…really, really shitty. “He tossed me a pity bone? Like I don’t want you, but here’s my little brother. Enjoy? You really were my consolation prize? Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“No, it wasn’t like that at all.” He grasped my shoulders gently and looked into my eyes beseechingly. “Jesus, baby doll. That is not what happened. He actually told me not to touch you. No, actually, that wasn’t how he put it. What did he say?” He winced, trying to recall the exact wording before he refocused on me to relay, “He said I didn’t stand a chance with you.”

“Oh.” I shoved his hands off me so I could back up enough to glare at all of him. “So you decided to prove him wrong, huh?”

“No.” He didn’t sound so insistent this time. He was almost defeated as he explained, “I didn’t think I stood a chance either. But you looked so miserable, I wanted to help you. I thought I could annoy you away with my flirting like I usually did, and it would chase you off so you’d stop torturing yourself. But then…then I learned what your fucking earrings meant, and…Jesus, Juli. You were there. You know what happened just happened. I didn’t plan that.”

I believed him. I don’t think I would’ve believed anyone else who’d fed me an excuse in that moment, but I believed Colton. Because I had been there. There’d been nothing planned or diabolical behind our encounter in that room.

But still, everything felt…wrong again.

“Maybe we shouldn’t do this,” I whispered, shaking my head and almost about to cry because that wasn’t what I really wanted to say. “This is getting complicated.”

He shook his head. “It’s not complicated at all, baby doll. Do you want me or not?”

Everything inside me screamed yes, but I gulped. “But what about…he who shall not be named?”

“That’s why I made that condition because this right here is between you and me, not him. He doesn’t belong here, and I don’t want him involved. And if he knew about it, he’d make himself involved.”

I nodded. “Okay, but just for the record, I don’t still have a thing for him.”

“Whatever.” He stepped in closer to me and ran a single fingertip up the side of my throat. It felt...wow, really good, but I think he was trying to distract me because he didn’t believe me and he didn’t want to hear what he thought was a lie.

I grabbed his wrist, making him look into my eyes.

“I’m serious, Colton. I was over him that night. I just didn’t realize it yet. You were right. One taste of you and I forgot all about big brother.”

He cupped my cheek and whispered, “Okay.” This time, I think the words actually sank in. He believed.

Releasing a breath of relief, I smiled. Then he smiled. And we leaned toward each other to kiss. At first, it was just lips pressing against lips. I had to close my eyes against the utter sweetness of it. But soon enough his mouth opened and tongue came out, so my tongue came out.

Before I knew it, we were stepping closer, then right up against each other. I gripped his shirt with two fistfuls as he slid the straps of my book bag off my shoulders. So I did the same for him. Once both packs dropped to the floor at our feet, he smoothed his palms along my back until he gripped my ass and picked me up. I hooked his waist with my legs, and he spun to press my spine against the wall.

When the hard ridge of his erection slammed against my clit, I sucked in a breath and clutched him, gripping and releasing, almost like a cat kneading a lap before sitting on it. I think I even purred when his lips found the base of my throat.

“Yes.”

He angled my hips using his grip on my ass and hit another sensitive spot. “Dammit, Colton. You’re going to make me come before we even get to the good stuff. Please tell me you have something.”

When he froze against me, his face still buried against my neck, I almost wept. “Oh my God, you’ve got to be kidding me.”

He finally looked up and met my gaze, his eyes wide. “I forgot to refill my wallet after the wedding.”

The wedding…where he’d heaved his unused condom across the room.

Shit.

I guess that meant he hadn’t been getting frisky with any other woman since then, which was good to know, but fuuuuck…a condom sounded like air right about now, I needed one to keep breathing.

“We, uh…we can just go back to my place then. My roommates have tons of condoms in our bathroom for their boyfriends. You can follow my car, and—”

“Sounds good,” he said, cutting me off as he set my feet back on the floor. “Except we’re not leaving this room until one of us comes. And I choose you.”

He slipped his fingers into the waistband of my yoga pants and whipped them along with my panties down my legs, making me screech in surprise, then slap my hands over my mouth, hoping no one had heard me through the walls. An instant later, Colton was kneeling in front of me and cupping the outsides of my thighs with warm fingers.

“Holy shit,” I gulped as my frantic gaze veered toward the doorway, hoping no one with a key tried to enter.

When his tongue touched me, I sank deep into the corner of the wall. My hands slapped out for any kind of support but grasped at nothing.

“Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmi…god.” My head fell back, and my eyes rolled up. The muscles in my legs loosened, and Colton took that opportunity to open them wider so he could discover more of me.

My lashes fluttered and I finally looked down. There was a swirl of dark hair around the crown of his head, like a cowlick. I became obsessed with watching it as his tongue kept swirling and working at me without ceasing. Unable to help myself, I continued to splay out one arm against the wall but dropped the other so I could grip a handful of that soft, silky hair.

He made a hungry, aggressive sound in his throat, letting me know he liked the hold. So I used the grip I had on him to force his mouth harder against my pussy.

“Fuck,” he hissed, and his fingers pushed inside me while his tongue flicked faster. A few more mumbled words tumbled from him—about the only one I understood, or thought I understood, was “shaved”—and then he began to thrust two fingers into me with more fervor as if he himself were getting close.

His tongue paused, pressing hard against my button, and then bam, he flicked it again, and that was it.

“Oh my God.” A current shimmered through me, almost hovering over my skin as if warning me I was about to be invaded completely, before holy fuck, I was.

I let go of the wall to shove my hand against my mouth to muffle the sound, and my gaze shifted to the door, hoping to God no one entered, while the rest of my body tried to transform into something else entirely. It was so fucking big, I fought it. I didn’t mean to, but shit…this could not be natural. Orgasms weren’t supposed to be earthquakes or hurricanes. Right? They were just little speed bumps of pleasure.

But whatever ripped through me was no speed bump, so I tensed and braced against it, biting deep into my knuckles until, sigh…it began to subside. Waves, like a tide sweeping back out into the ocean, lapped over me as the tsunami quelled.

I looked down just as Colton sat back on his heels and looked up. “You fought it again.”

I swallowed. “I couldn’t help it. That was just…it was too big. I don’t think anyone could survive the full intensity of an orgasm from you.”

A grin overtook his face as he pushed to his feet and gazed down into my eyes. “Challenge accepted. Let’s go back to your place now. I’m going to teach you the proper way to take on an orgasm.”

JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 17

I swear, little aftershocks kept afflicting my pussy after Colton had walked me to my car. If I could’ve driven to my apartment with crossed legs, I would have. It was all just so bizarre. I felt completely sated and pretty much ready to nap a month away, and yet I was wired and giddy for more, knowing we were going to continue this in minutes.

Minutes!

I’d get to feel him inside me and finally wrap my legs around his hips as he spiked himself deep.

With another shudder, I pulled into the parking lot outside my building and jammed my fist against my stomach when his souped-up red pickup pulled in and stopped beside my Camry.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

I closed my eyes and jumped when I heard his truck door slam. Then his footsteps echoed throughout the interior of my car as he walked around to my driver’s side. The door opened.

“Second thoughts?”

Opening my lashes, I glanced over and got a face full of the fly of his jeans. My first impulse was to undo the buckle of his belt, undo him and draw his cock into my mouth so…no. No second thoughts. I just couldn’t remember being this nervous or excited about sex in a long, long time. Maybe ever.

After snagging my purse and backpack, I climbed out and straightened before him, meeting his seeking gaze directly. Neither of us spoke, we just stared at each other as if we were waiting for the other to get cold feet.

Then I took his hand and said, “Come on.”

He followed me inside the building and down the hall. When we had to pause so I could dig my keys from my purse, he shifted in close behind me and kissed the back of my neck. I sighed and let my head fall forward, enjoying his lips. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pressed his hips against my butt so I could cradle the hardness of his erection between my cheeks.

His hand climbed up and claimed one of my breasts through my shirt, and I jerked, my fingers fumbling to fit the key into the lock of my door.

But when I finally got it slotted in, I realized it was already unlocked. “Huh.” I straightened, on alert. “That’s weird.”

“What?” Colton must’ve noticed the change in me because he dropped his hand from my chest.

“The door wasn’t locked.” I turned the handle and swung it open.

Behind me, Colton freaked. “Julianna, wait!” He gripped my waist to keep me from entering, but the sight on my couch was already making me gasp and stumble backward into him. “Holy shit!”

I lifted my hands to my eyes, immediately shading them and wishing I had some bleach to kill them.

Because someone’s bare ass had just fucking mooned me from my couch.

A scream followed, and then Sasha yelped, “Oh my God, Juli! What’re you doing home?”

Chad. I’d just seen Chad’s ass. Lovely. I was never going to be able to look him in the eyes again.

“What’re you doing home?” I demanded right back, peeking through my fingers enough to see that the couple had yanked a throw blanket over them and covered all the naked parts.

“We were skipping class so we could get nasty on the couch,” Chad answered bluntly, only for Sasha to slap his naked arm with a loud whack.

“What a coincidence,” Colton spoke up congenially from behind me. “That’s what we were doing. Please say you have some extra condoms? We got nothing.”

“Colton!” I hissed, whirling around to gape at him.

But from behind me, Sasha screeched, “Colton? Did you say Colton?”

“She did.” He shimmied past me into the apartment to smile and wave at her. “Hi, you’re the roommate I didn’t meet the other morning, but you know my name. That must mean you guys talked about me after I left.” Lifting his eyebrows, he glanced meaningfully at me before turning back to Sasha. He seemed totally comfortable about the fact that we’d just walked in on her having sex. “Please tell me you were pro-Colton and encouraged her to try me out.”

While Chad burst out laughing, Sasha’s mouth dropped open. It took her a few tries, but she finally answered, “Actually, yeah we did encourage her, even though she insisted there was absolutely nothing there.”

“Oh really?” He glanced at me with a contemplative arch of the eyebrows before he turned back to Sasha and nodded. “Well, thank you for your support…”

When he drew out the ending as if asking her to supply him with a name, she blushed and said, “Sasha.”

He flashed his panty-dropping grin and then freaking winked at her. “Thank you, Sasha. I owe you big time.”

Chad burst out laughing, slapping his knee and leaning into Sasha because he was so overcome. After wiping a few laughter tears from the corners of his eyes, he asked me, “Who the fuck is this guy?”

“A dead man,” I ground out, punching Colton in the shoulder. “What the hell? How could you tell them what we were going to do?”

His eyebrows lifted in question. “What? Were we supposed to keep that a secret? Because I think they’re going to figure it out in about ten minutes anyway when I start making you scream.” Then with a conspiratorial grin toward Chad, he added, “Though my goal is really five minutes.”

This time, Sasha and Chad both hollered with surprised laughter.

Steamed beyond all anger because oh my God, this entire moment was so utterly embarrassing and he was just being so blasé about it, I fisted my hands at my sides and growled, “The only thing you’re going to make me do—in about five seconds—is kick your ass right back out this door.”

The bastard didn’t even look concerned. In fact, I swear his gaze heated with hungry primal intent. His nostrils flared and eyes twinkled naughtily as he stepped toward me. “Is that so?”

‘That is so fucking so,” I assured him, my jaw clenched tight.

He grinned. “Game on, baby doll.” And he picked me up, freaking picked me up, and tossed me over his shoulder in the fireman’s carry.

“Colton!” I screamed, too afraid to kick or slap him in fear he’d drop me. I mean, I was staring at the floor!

He gave an affable wave to Sasha and Chad and started for the hallway. “Carry on,” he told them. “We’re getting out of your hair now.”

“Thanks,” Chad called, only to add, “oh, hey, man. Here you go.” He tossed something our way, and Colton let go of one of his hands holding my leg to catch it one-handed, which made me shriek and clutch his torso for dear life.

By the time I could focus on what Chad had thrown at us, Colton was grinning and holding up a strip of condoms, saying, “Awesome. Thank you.”

And down the hall we went.

“So why were you so against the idea of your roommate knowing about us?” he asked as he entered the room and toed the door shut. “Because, you know…a girl doesn’t tell her friends about something for only two reasons: because she doesn’t deem it important enough or because she’s ashamed of it.” He bent down and helped me back onto the floor, then he helped me straighten until I was facing him. “Where does that leave me?”

The blood was still rushing from my head from hanging upside down. It was hard to concentrate. I wanted to be all upset that he’d just picked me up and entered my room without my permission, but I was still rocking some crazy attraction for him, and yet my skin felt all flushed and tight from the embarrassment I’d gone through in the front room. I wasn’t sure how to feel or react.

But when I focused on his face and saw the tinge of worry, I just couldn’t make him think I was ever ashamed of him.

“I just… You can’t… Damn you,” I muttered, scowling. It wasn’t right how he’d so easily flipped this around on me. Flustered and tongue-tied, I glared at him a moment before very slowly and succinctly saying, “I thought we agreed we weren’t going to tell certain people about our arrangement.”

“Certain people,” he repeated slowly. “Yeah, like my brother, because he’d give us both fucking grief about it. You think your roommate Sasha would give us grief? She seemed pretty cool about it to me.”

“No, I don’t think she’d…” Still too agitated to talk right, I took a moment to draw in a deep breath, then I more calmly explained, “It’s not her exactly that I’m worried about. I just…dammit, I don’t want my dad finding out, okay? And she might accidentally slip and let the cat out the bag if he called, or something.”

Colton blinked, stunned silent. Then he shook his head. “Your dad?”

With a nod, I sighed and scrubbed my face.

“Why don’t you think your dad would like me? Everyone loves me.” He looked genuinely confused.

I dropped my hands and stared at him a moment, feeling defeated before finally admitting, “He’s an investigator for this equal rights group where he works. All he sees day in and day out are his people getting treated unfairly, and it’s given him a certain perspective on life.”

“Okay,” Colton answered slowly, still not catching on. I frowned at him a moment, wondering if he was being purposely obtuse or if he really just didn’t get it.

Grinding my teeth, I shook my head and whispered, “I’ve never dated a white guy before. I’m not exactly sure how he’d handle it.”

“Oh.” This time it sank in clear as day. He glanced down at his forearm, the light skin peppered with some freckles and short, dark hairs, and he frowned. “Yeah, that’s not something I can change.”

I felt suddenly shitty as if I’d just told him he wasn’t good enough or something. Unable to help myself, I stepped forward and cupped his face in my hands. He finally moved his gaze from his skin to my face. Worry laced his stare. “You’re, like, not going to get in trouble or anything for being with me, are you?”

He seemed so concerned about my safety, I shook my head even as I gulped unsteadily. The truth was I had no idea how my dad would react. I mean, he’d never hurt me. But disown me… I wasn’t sure.

What I said, however, was, “Of course not. I’m just a daddy’s girl. Determined to seek his approval, no matter what. I just don’t want to unnecessarily disappoint him, especially since there’s nothing here…” I motioned between the two of us, “for him to even worry about because we’re not attempting anything serious or anything like that. We’re just…”

When words failed me, he said, “Fucking.”

I swallowed hard. “Right,” I agreed in a small voice, even though it felt all kinds of wrong to call it that.

Colton nodded as if understanding. Then he threw me for a loop when he asked, “What about Brandt?”

I blinked, not expecting that name to come up at all since we had just agreed it never would. “What about him?”

“You wanted something with him, and he’s white.”

Not sure what point he was trying to make, I shook my head. “What?”

“Didn’t you worry about what your dad would think about him?”

“No,” I answered before I could even censor myself. “I mean…” Huh, I really hadn’t worried about that with Brandt. Strange. I wondered why that was even as I tried to explain why to Colton. “Brandt and I didn’t even make it through a single date. Why the hell would I start worrying about my father’s opinion unless I actually thought something might come from—why the hell are you grinning like that?”

It felt as if I was slamming him and his entire race, and this goofy grin just kept spreading across his face as if he’d won the lottery. It kind of freaked me out.

“You’re worried about your dad’s opinion of me, yet you’d never even considered what he’d think of Brandt. That means I’m already further along than he got. Boo-yah!”

“Oh my God, really?” Of course he’d gotten further than Brandt. The moment my lips had touched his at the wedding reception, he’d been further along than Brandt had ever gotten. Setting my hands on my hips, I glared. “This is not a fucking competition between brothers.”

“Oh, I know,” he said seriously enough, right before he broke out in another grin and winked. “It’s still nice to know I’m in the lead, though.”

“Oh my God, you are so annoying.”

“And you’re an anal, perfectionist control freak,” he countered, still grinning right before he charged me and picked me up off my feet, making me yelp in surprise before he dropped me on my bed. I bounced twice on my back before catching myself, and he laughed as he climbed on top of me. “But you’re sexy as hell when you’re exasperated. And that gets me hard, so I’m okay with it.”

I sniffed and tried to buck him off me when he bracketed his knees around my thighs, pinning me to the bed and hovering over me with his vexingly cocky grin. “Don’t you dare try to sex talk me and think it’s going to get me to forgive you, buddy,” I demanded, scowling because his sex talk was actually working. My lady parts were getting frisky.

He only laughed and captured my hands, holding them over my head against the mattress. “And what exactly am I trying to get forgiveness for? I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Did so,” I muttered, then blinked because I had no idea what I really thought he should be begging forgiveness for. But the fact that he may be right only infuriated me more. Glaring, I bucked up against him. “You irritated the piss out of me.”

The bastard laughed. Then he leaned down and rubbed his nose against mine. His breath washed over my lips before he murmured, “The first time I thrust inside you, I want you to tell me again how much I irritate you. Then I want you to fuck my brains out, claw my back, pull my hair, and grab my ass, forcing me inside you as deep as I can go. God…” He shuddered and gasped for breath, his eyes going unfocused as his nostrils flared with arousal. “Why does just thinking about that already have me right on the edge, ready to explode?”

“Because, clearly, you have issues,” I answered, tightening my leg muscles around him before I sprang up, forcing him up too and over until I was rolling him across the bed and had him on his back and under me. Triumphant, I straddled his waist the way he’d just been straddling mine, and I then grabbed his wrists to trap his hands over his head.

God, what a rush.

With a challenging arch of my eyebrows, I gazed down at him, eager and ready for him to counteract.

Grinning, he lifted his hips so he could rub his erection against my pussy. “Oh, did you want to be on top? Why didn’t you just say so?”

I was a soaked mess; I was surprised he didn’t feel how wet I was through all the layers of clothing between us. It felt so good to alleviate some of the ache, I ground back down on him, forcing his hips back to the mattress. “You just called me a damn control freak,” I volleyed back. “Why didn’t you already know?”

He loved my answer. I could see it in the brightening of his eyes and in the flash of his teeth as he smiled. “Touché.”

The poor thing was panting and his face was slick with a sheen of sweat. He really was close to blowing. But then, so was I. I felt this primal urge to claw and bite and attack with every molecule in me, so he’d be forced to get rough right back and pound into me without any finesse.

It was the oddest thing ever; I was usually so subdued and held back as much as I could from the guy I was with. But I felt this connection to Colton that made it seem as if I could do anything I wanted with him and he’d be right there with me, which made me actually want to try everything. It was liberating and exciting and gave me an adrenaline rush that flooded my veins with a consuming vivacity.

“Get this goddamn shirt off,” I demanded, already grabbing the hem and peeling it up his washboard abs and then over his impressive pecs.

Since I’d let go of his wrists to remove his clothing, he was able to sit up under me and peel his top the rest of the way off. And then he was panting, “You too,” as he reached for my blouse. It was up and over my head a moment later.

He went straight for my breasts, cupping his hands around my bra before releasing a nipple from the top and capturing it between his teeth.

I groaned and ground down on him harder. “I need you inside me,” I gasped, slapping at his shoulder so we could return to the undressing part.

Whimpering as if he didn’t want to stop feasting on me, he finally let my aching nipple pop free of his mouth. Then he smoothed his hands down my sides as if heading for my bottoms. But he paused at my side, his fingers drifting over my tattoo he’d just then discovered.

“A dream catcher,” he murmured in awe, twisting around so he could see the rest of the tattoo that started on my back. Only a single feather from the dream catcher could be seen on the front. “Amazing.”

He lifted his face and glanced toward my window, taking in the half a dozen dream catchers I had hanging there. When his lips parted with amazement, I touched his face until he turned his attention back to me.

“I want it hard and fast and delicious. You think you can handle that?”

Instead of answering, he kissed me. His lips slammed into mine. Our mouths opened and tongues tangled as if wrestling for control. The next thing I knew, his hands were gripping my hips and he was lifting me off him before swinging me around and tossing me back onto the bed. My spine barely hit the mattress before he ripped my pants down my legs.

Staring at my panties, he groaned and shook his head. “These panties you wear are going to kill me, I fucking swear.”

I blinked, confused. “What’s wrong with my panties?” I wore the most boring, plain cotton underwear that provided nothing but comfort. How the hell did he find that exciting?

“Not a damn thing. They’re perfect.” And then he peeled them down my legs and tossed them over his shoulder. “Fuck me,” he breathed, shaking his head. “You’re even flawless stripped naked and bare. How are you fucking real?”

His hungry gaze made me feel powerful. Usually, I was self-conscious at this stage, ready to cover parts I wasn’t so proud of, but Colton had me actually pleased to show him everything and more. Lifting my arms over my head and spreading my legs wide in a way that exposed me to a man as I’d never exposed myself before, I stared him in the eye and said, “Why don’t you touch me and learn how real I am?”

He swallowed, his throat working through the difficult gulp. Then he choked out, “Holy damn,” before leaning down and licking me from asshole to clit.

The sensation electrocuted me and had me crying out my surprise. Two fingers impaled me as his mouth sucked around the spot just above that. I jerked, my limbs unable to stop themselves from bolting at the stimulation.

“Oh my God. Ohmigod, ohmigod,” I groaned, my orgasm chant making an appearance already. “Colton, I can’t—”

I choked on my shock as my inner muscles clamped around his fingers and began to contract with the most pleasant pain ever. Then I cried through the rest of it, afraid of how hard I was coming and yet yearning to come even harder. And then I did. I came with an intensity that forced me to let go and stop trying to hold it all in. I ground my pussy up into his face and grabbed my nipples, squeezing them through the release.

When I came down, I wilted, drained and sated beyond anything I’d ever experienced before.

Between my legs, Colton looked up. When our gazes met, he eased his fingers out of me and sat up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Then he swallowed, drew in a deep, fortifying breath, and announced, “That was the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.”

My return grin was lazy and content. “Yeah, I’m totally done, that’s for sure. So you…” I lifted a limp hand and swirled my finger in a circle, giving him permission as I finished, “go ahead and do whatever. I’m good with it.”

He lifted an eyebrow. “Good with it?”

I rolled my head. “Great with it. Whatever,” I corrected. Damn picky man. He should know how amazing he was just by my total inability to move right now. “I don’t want to be on top anymore, either. Too tired to move.”

When I yawned, he sniffed and shook his head. “So, now that you’re done, I’m just supposed to use your body however I like to get myself off?”

I frowned. Yeah, that didn’t sound so cool. When I realized that’s what I’d basically meant, I frowned even harder. Why the hell had I even suggested such a thing?

“Oh, baby doll,” he murmured as the back of one of his fingers stroked gently down my cheek. “You’re not even close to being done yet.”

And just like that, I sparked back to life. He must’ve known because the fucker grinned. Which only made me scowl. “And what makes you so special to go deciding reactions in my body?”

Chuckling, he climbed off the bed. “Because you’re not the type to go down after one punch. You always pop right back up, swinging and snarling.” He seemed to love that detail about me, too, as he stripped his jeans down his thighs and then tugged off his Jockey shorts.

My gaze followed every move until he was standing before me buck-ass naked. My attention zeroed in on his cock jutting out proud and erect. The droplet of precum made me lick my lips and squeeze my thighs together, wanting him to rub it against me, mixing our juices together before he pounded into me hard and fast.

Colton covered it with a condom and I almost whimpered out a protest at the loss of seeing all of it. Then he wrapped his hand around the whole thing and stroked it once as if to make sure everything was securely in place.

He glanced up. When our gazes clashed, I knew he knew I wanted him again. But he was right. I couldn’t stop fighting.

I opened my legs to him and taunted, “Well, if you really think that little thing can spark me back to life, you’re welcome to try.”

He laughed and grasped my ankles before dragging me to the edge of the bed. Then he hooked each of his arms under my knees and lifted my hips off the mattress so my pussy could line up with his cock while he remained standing on the floor.

Grinning, he lifted an eyebrow and said, “Little, huh?”

Then he thrust inside me. All the way to the hilt with no resistance whatsoever from my body.

I gasped and bowed up, absorbing the encompassing invasion. “Holy…fuck,” I choked out. “Fuck.” He felt huge inside me from this angle, stretching and pressing at things I’d never felt stretched before.

“Still feel little?” he asked, mocking.

“Damn you,” I moaned, unable to thrust back against him because he was holding my legs hostage and controlling every little movement.

“Oh, sorry,” he murmured. “You wanted it hard and fast, right?”

I gave another sound of protest, almost fearing what would happen if he gave me what I actually wanted.

Then he retracted his hips and slammed back into me. It felt so good, I cried out, physically sobbing as he fucked me without mercy, repeatedly pounding in and pulling out.

I stretched out my arms and gripped the sheets under me, absorbing every blow right where I felt it the most.

“Colton…Colton,” I begged, already ready to come again.

“Shit,” he muttered, looking frantic. He began to fuck me across the mattress, thrusting me further up the bed so he could climb onto the sheets with me. Without losing his rhythm, he lowered himself on top of me until we lay flush together, chest to chest. Then he looked me directly in the eye and admitted, “I can’t last much longer.”

I kissed him and forked my fingers through his hair, gripping two handfuls as I merged my mouth with his. It was the last little impetus I needed to send me over the edge. Hooking my legs around his waist, I screamed out another orgasm.

He jerked unsteadily, then thrust deep before holding himself tight inside me as he came too. We clutched each other. I buried my face in his neck and he buried his in mine. My fingers clutched his hair while his arms wrapped around me and tethered us together.

We settled at the same time, breathing hard and still holding the other for dear life. Finally, he blew out a breath and lifted his face from my neck to press his forehead to mine. Then the cocky bastard said, “Okay, now you’re done.”

I slugged the side of his arm without any heat. He grinned, kissed my cheek, and rolled off me so that we were lying side by side and staring up at the ceiling together, with most likely matching expressions of dazed shock.

But seriously, that had been…I don’t even know. Just unreal. Unheard of. And totally unforeseen.

I’d been hoping for a nice satisfying screw. But this…this had blown everything I thought I’d ever known about sex completely out of the water.

The worst part: I still wanted him, maybe even more now than ever.

JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 18

After he cleaned himself up and returned to the bed, we lay prone on our backs, side by side and stared up at the ceiling together for I don’t know how long, but it felt like eons that I just gaped at nothing and thought holy shit, what just happened?

I mean, my body still hummed from how hard and long I’d come, and I was sure I should be over the afterglow by now. But I was ready for more, eager for more, craving it like some kind of drug addict.

I blew out a breath and muttered, “Well, that didn’t get shit out of my system.”

Next to me, Colton grumbled his agreement. “Nope,” he muttered before he cursed and scrubbed his face. “Dammit. I guess this means once won’t be enough for us.”

Rolling onto my side, I gaped at him. “What do you mean once won’t be enough?” I shoved his arm, more scared he was right than actually angry about it. “You fucking asshole. You promised me once would do the trick.”

“No.” He turned to his side as well to face me, shaking his finger. “No, I never promised shit. I said I didn’t see why once wouldn’t do the trick. How the hell was I supposed to know you’d have a golden pussy that felt like...shit...nirvana!” He ran his hands through his hair, looking harassed and as unsettled as I felt. Then he sat up. “I built it up in my head so much I was sure it’d be a serious letdown by the time I finally got inside you.” He whirled around to stare down accusatively at me. “Why the fuck did you have to feel so good?”

“Me?” I pressed my hand to my chest. “You’re the one who went down on me with that perfect freaking tongue of yours and licked me like you were worshiping at some kind of sex altar. What was that about?”

“You said you wanted full service,” he boomed, throwing up his hands in disgust.

“That was before I knew you could get me off with your cock alone!” I shrieked right back at him. “God!” Needing to vent, I picked up the first thing I could throw and hurled it at him. Too bad it only ended up being my wadded-up pair of panties.

Colton flinched, slinging up his arm to dodge the blow before the soft cotton bounced off his forearm, leaving it completely unharmed. Lifting a single eyebrow, he glanced down at them as they landed on his thigh. Then he snorted out an amused sound. “Panties? Really? Ooh, I’m so scared. Please don’t hurt me with your soft, harmless underwear.”

“Oh, you bastard,” I fumed. “I’ll find something harmless to heave at your big, stupid head.” Whirling toward my nightstand, I spotted my Kindle and leaped for it. That would leave a dent.

“Oh, shit.” Colton scrambled for me, wrapping his arms around my arms and pinning them to my sides. “Maybe we should both just calm down,” he panted from behind me, struggling to keep me from flailing just as much as I was struggling to break loose.

“No!” I bucked against him. “No, no, no. This fucking sucks. No one’s ever made me come before from just their stupid dick alone. Why you? Why?” Exhausted from my tantrum, I settled into his arms and rested my cheek against my pillow, drained yet mortified.

Being with him wasn’t supposed to feel as good as it had. I mean, I’d wanted good. But I’d wanted good and over. This had been the kind of good I wanted to keep. Why had it been that kind of good? “I just don’t get it.”

His hold on me morphed from containment to comfort as he kissed my shoulder blade and began to rub my arm. “I guess I’m just that awesome,” he lamented.

I sniffed. “Well, what the hell are we supposed to do about it?”

With a shrug, he mumbled, “I don’t know. Fuck some more, I guess.”

I lifted my face and tried to glare at him over my shoulder. “How many times?”

He shook his head. “Like I have any idea. This is unchartered territory.”

I ground my teeth. “That’s so not reassuring at all.”

“Well, I don’t know!” he snapped, climbing off me and backing away so I could sit upright and whirl around to face him head-on. “I just know I’ve never been with a girl I haven’t gotten tired of. So, it’s gotta happen sooner or later between us, right? Meaning...we just keep getting it on until we finally get over it.”

I didn’t like thinking I’d be just like the others or someone he’d grow tired of after a while. As much as I’d only wanted a one-time deal, the idea of him not being as addicted to me as I apparently was to him was just not acceptable. It made me panic.

What if I kept wanting him, and he stopped wanting me?

“I don’t like that deal,” I blurted. “I mean, what if you get over it sooner than I do? I don’t want to be left hanging just because…just because...”

“Oh, Jesus. Fine.” He rolled his eyes. “If I get it out of my system sooner than you do, then I’ll just...I promise you I’ll keep on until you get tired of it too.”

“Right…you’d just fake it and force yourself to fuck me, huh? No matter how sick of me you were? You do realize how ridiculous that sounds, don’t you?”

“Well, then you come up with the suggestions,” he muttered. “Damn. I told you what I thought would work. Why don’t you tell me what you want to do?”

I bit my lip before admitting, “I want to fuck you some more.” That was pretty much the only thing I knew.

“Good. Great!” He lifted his hands as if it were settled. “Then let’s freaking fuck some more.”

I arched my eyebrows and crossed my arms over my chest. “Just like that?”

With a shrug, he asked, “Why not? What else is there to decide?”

Oh, everything, probably. But yeah, I didn’t care about that right now either. I had Colton here, naked and still willing in my bed, so I was taking advantage of him…er, of the situation.

Okay, of him too!

“Fine,” I answered, uncrossing my arm and motioning with my finger. “Lie on your back and put a new condom on.”

“What?” He straightened with surprise. “Like right now? I thought we were done for the day?”

“Oh, baby doll,” I told him in a low voice, repeating his words right back to him. “You’re not even close to being done yet.” Then I set my hand on his chest and pushed him back until he was lying just how I wanted him.

His eyes lit with pleasure and awe as I climbed onto his lap and straddled his thighs, hovering my pussy over his cock, which jerked with the knowledge that another round of sex was imminent. Since he hadn’t reached for protection yet, I grabbed the string of unused packages and tore one open.

Colton watched me the entire time, saying nothing, his gaze heated and alert. When I had him fully sheathed and my fingers were wrapped around the base of him where hot flesh pulsed within my grasp, he lifted his attention from his dick to my face.

“I’m the luckiest dumb shit on the planet right now, aren’t I?”

I sank down on him, and he gasped as his back bowed up and mouth gaped open. Once he was seated deep and I’d taken him all the way inside me, he swallowed and rasped. “Yes, yes I am.”

When I began to move, he gripped my waist and clenched his teeth. “Damn, you are so fucking spectacular. Tight, wet, beautiful. Christ…” His gaze swept over me, pausing on my bouncing breasts before falling to his lap, where he became fixated on the area where we were joined. I glanced down, and it was like a sensory overload. Watching his cock, slick with my juices, disappear repeatedly inside me was just…mmm.

A sharp quiver went up the insides of my thighs and I clenched my inner muscles around his length. He choked out his surprise and gripped my waist tighter.

“You did that on purpose.” He sounded so accusatory I shot my gaze to him only to realize he was barely holding himself together and about to lose complete control. His face was flushed, eyes dilated, and a trail of sweat was dripping down his temple.

I grinned, loving how I could get him so worked up. “What? This?”

I squeezed around him again, and his lips curled back as he gritted his teeth. “Yes, dammit. Stop. I can’t hold back…oh, fuck it. If I’m coming, then so are you.” And he reached down between us to press his thumb to my clit, nudging it so I could feel the friction of his cock against it from the inside along with the movement of his finger on the outside. The double assault shot off a stream of electrical impulses that arced through me, shooting out the ends of my fingers and toes, my nipples, and all through my pussy.

I whimpered and clutched my breasts, gripping them to abate the searing sensation, while Colton heaved his hips up under me, thrusting his cock deep.

“Juli,” he gasped, and it was like some kind of desperate plea, begging me to come with him. The combination of my name on his tongue, the look in his eyes, and his dick and fingers massaging me set me off.

I let out a breath and came hard. And I swear the only thing that got me through it was staring into his eyes the entire time, watching him go off with me.

As soon as the most intense part had passed, he reached up, clutched the back of my neck and pulled me down until we were kissing. His mouth was warm and soft, and I sucked in his tongue as soon as he offered it.

It all felt so different. I was used to kissing beforehand to ramp up the arousal and lead into sex. But kissing afterward was…I don’t know, so much more personal. We shared breaths and touches, and it was all so strangely intimate. I felt more connected to him than I could remember being to anyone.

He eased me onto my side so I didn’t have to keep hovering over him, and he rolled onto his side so he could keep facing me and kissing me. Our mouths didn’t lose contact, but he came out of me, down there. And still, I continued to experience that same intense link.

Slipping his fingers over my cheekbone, he finally broke his lips away from me so he could run them along my jaw and down my neck.

“Thank you,” he murmured as he continued to worship my collarbone. “Thank you for not holding your orgasm back.”

I kind of felt like I should be the one thanking him for that. I was the one who’d benefited the most from it. But he pulled back to grin into my eyes. “So, same time tomorrow night, right?”

The question bothered me. It wasn’t because he assumed I’d want him again, or that he wanted me again. I liked that part and I did want more. But he made it seem as if he were done with me for the day, and I had wanted to keep doing exactly what we were doing. So I guess the question almost felt like a rejection or dismissal or something.

“I have to work tomorrow,” I said. When he opened his mouth, I added, “And the next night too.”

Unease filled his face as if he wasn’t sure if he should ask for more, so I said, “But I have Monday off.”

His lips quirked into a smile. “Monday then.”

“Monday,” I repeated with a little dread and a little excitement. I wasn’t completely on board with the idea of continuing something with him—I mean, where would it lead? Where could it lead?—but ooh, my body sure wanted more. And he’d been right; arguing with him really did make my blood rush with enthusiasm. “Until then.” I yawned as I added, “So…I’m done with you for today.”

There. I’d beat him to the awkward good-bye.

But he arched an eyebrow. “Done with me?” he sniffed. “But earlier you mentioned something about back rubs afterward, so...” He rolled around, exposing his spine to me. “I’m ready for mine now.”

I barked out an incredulous laugh. “As if. Get your pasty pale ass off my bed.” I planted my feet against his warm, taut buttocks and shoved him forward. “I said I was done with you.”

He cursed as he scrambled to catch his footing, but couldn’t in time, and fell off the mattress, crashing to the floor on his hands and knees.

“What the hell?” he cried, popping to his feet so he could gape down at me.

The big grin I’d been giving him wavered and my pulse thundered through my neck. I’d just been teasing, but I knew I’d gone over the line as outrage washed across his face. For a split second, fear raced through me. I realized I wasn’t entirely sure how he’d react to this. Shaun probably would’ve given me a fat lip if I’d ever treated him that way.

But all Colton did was lift an eyebrow and say, “Pasty? Pasty? Oh, baby doll…” He shook his head as he removed his condom and tossed it in the trash. Then he smiled menacingly as he climbed slowly back onto the bed. “Just for that, I’m going to make you cuddle.”

“Cuddle?” My eyes bulged as he crawled closer.

For some reason, cuddling struck more fear inside me than getting slapped or punched. I knew exactly how to respond to those—kick his ass out of my apartment. But with cuddling, I was lost.

I edged away from him, shaking my head, only to yelp out a surprised scream when he snaked out a hand and caught hold of my leg, stilling me.

“Yes, cuddle,” he said. “I like to cuddle.”

My muscles clenched and limbs went tense as he climbed up right into my personal space and wrapped himself around me like a second skin.

“I…I’m not big on cuddling,” I finally admitted, my body board-stiff against him.

“Really?” He sounded surprised by that. “Well, don’t worry, by the time I’m through with you, you’ll love it. Here, maybe you should, yeah, just relax your muscles a little, and breathing is also good. Breathe.” His palm splayed warm and flat against my abdomen, and I purposely inhaled, then a few seconds later, I exhaled.

“Good,” he murmured. “Now roll facing away from me.”

After encouraging me onto my side, he curled up behind me, spooning, his knees fitting up into the backs of mine and his lap holding my bottom snuggly as his chest pressed to my spine. Then his arm looped around and banded me to him at the middle.

“There.” He exhaled and relaxed behind me.

I practiced a few more deep breaths before I realized I was relaxing too, and it felt nice, like two puzzle pieces interlocking. Which only made me more uneasy. Getting this close to Colton when sex wasn’t involved seemed scary.

“Your heart’s racing,” he whispered into my ear, his breath stirring my hair and making me shiver while my nipples hardened.

“But I’m relaxed,” I whispered back. “Isn’t that a start?”

“You’re right. It is. You’re doing great.” His hand squeezed encouragingly around my hip. “Want to know a secret?”

When I hummed out my assent, letting him know I did, he said, “I really like your dream catchers.” His fingers drifted over my tattoo with the softest caress. “When I was little, I had someone try to help me get over my nightmares too. But she didn’t give me a dream catcher.”

I sighed, content, as one of his fingers traced the feather that came around my ribcage toward my front. “What’d she give you?”

He chuckled softly. “A rabbit’s foot and a little bottle of breath spray.”

My eyebrows perked. “The rabbit’s foot and breath spray you have on your keychain?” The very pair he’d held in his sleep all night on my couch?

“Yeah. Those.” His fingers paused at the very tip of my feather before moving on toward the underside of my breasts.

Closing my eyes as he circled my chest with a lazy, swooping fingertip, I said, “I understand the rabbit’s foot, to give you luck, but...breath spray?”

He chuckled again, a little more ruefully this time. “She called it monster repellent, and said if I ever got scared, I could spray it on the monster to scare it away.”

I laughed, a languid, happy giggle. “That’s priceless. I love it. It’s a perfect story for a little boy too. And I guess you used it if you’ve run out.”

“Well, I used it as breath spray too. And I’ve had it nearly ten years so...of course I’ve used it all by now.”

“Makes sense.” A couple of quiet moments passed before I skimmed my hand up the arm that was wrapped around my waist and squeezed his bicep warmly. “Want to know a secret from me?”

Even as I asked, my stomach muscles clenched, making me wonder why I was opening up to him.

But then he said, “Of course,” and I had to admit the truth.

“I’m really not a cuddler, but this...this I like.”

“Hell yes, you do,” he agreed with a hungry kind of growl as he tugged me tighter against him. “Because you’re cuddling with me.”

“Oh, Jesus.” I rolled my eyes but grinned as I did. “We really need to work on your ego, you know that?”

“Nah, I actually don’t think all that highly of myself. I’m pretty realistic about who and what I am. All the hoopla I put on is mostly a ruse, just to have some fun. The truth is, I’m not all that. I’ve let down some of the people closest to me in the worst ways possible.”

He sounded so sad about that. Sad and Colton should never be used in the same sentence. I rubbed his arm, trying to think up something wise and comforting to say.

But then he sighed.

“It really eats at you, you know,” he admitted quietly, “when someone you love suffers because of you. But fuck, what’re you supposed to do when they recover and forgive you? Get all depressed and turn emo because of it? Or pick your damn self back up, laugh it off, and try to make their sacrifice worth something?”

I shook my head, surprised he was spilling all this to me, but kind of really touched by it too. “Okay, you can’t just vague bomb me like that and not expect me not to want to know what you’re talking about.”

“Fine, here’s one example. When I was nine, my family went to this park to have a picnic. My sister, Caroline, and her husband, Ten, took me down this condemned walking trail to see a waterfall. But the place was condemned because of really bad ground erosion around the river. Well...I got too close to the side and began to fall in, but Ten jumped forward and pulled me back, only to fall in himself.”

I sucked in a breath. “Did he…?”

“He lived,” Colton reassured me. “But he got a pretty good bash on his head that put him in a coma for a while. Then when he woke, he’d lost his memory. It took Caroline to help him get that back. Today, he’s fine except for a nasty scar on his face, which reminds me every time I see it that I’m responsible for it.”

I turned around to face him and cupped his beautiful flawless face in my hands. I knew as I stared into his eyes that he wished he could’ve taken on the coma, memory loss and scarring his brother-in-law had suffered himself.

“Maybe you should see it as a reminder of how much you’re loved,” I said.

He studied my face right back, and I could tell he wanted to disagree. But he murmured, “Yeah, maybe you’re right.” Then he grinned. “All the same, it’s just as well you and I are only fucking here. I mean, if we’d actually attempted some kind of relationship or something, I’d probably just end up failing you too.”

He closed his eyes as if he were going to fall asleep on me but it was only late afternoon, so he had to be faking it to avoid more conversation.

But I leaned toward him anyway and murmured, “Somehow, I kind of doubt that.” Then I placed a light kiss to the middle of his forehead.

His lips quirked in a pleased grin, and his arms tightened securely around me as he made a comforted sound from his throat.

A long breath eased from his lungs and his body relaxed against mine. When I realized he really was falling asleep, I decided a little nap might not be so bad. This cuddling business really was awesome. Anything to prolong it sounded good. So I settled my cheek against his chest, wrapped my arm around his waist and closed my eyes.

When I woke again over an hour later, he was gone.

My heart short-circuited with disappointment until I noticed the note by my pillow.

I creased the letter how he’d had it folded in the first place and pressed it to my chest before grinning madly.

Monday couldn’t come soon enough.

COLTON’S CHAPTER | 19

I felt weird the next day. I wanted to text Julianna, call her, go see her, spend the entire day inside her. I knew she said she had to work today, but that wouldn’t be until this evening. She probably had all morning and early afternoon free. If I’d played my cards right, I could’ve spent that entire time in her bed.

But, no. It kind of freaked me out how badly I wanted to be with her. So I refrained from all contact.

Okay, mostly all contact. I’d had to send her one message first thing this morning.

You know, just so she wouldn’t forget she’d made an arrangement with me and wouldn’t try to schedule something else Monday night. It was just a reminder, not any kind of hi-how-are-you-I-miss-you-I-want-back-inside-you bullshit. No. Definitely not.

But my heart still skipped into overdrive when I saw that she’d read the message and was typing out a reply.

When only two numbers popped onto my screen, I laughed out loud.

Across the room, the sheets on Beau’s bed rustled as he came awake. Shit. I’d woken the kid.

Oh well. It was worth it. Julianna had responded and made me smile.

Grinning madly, I typed:

She sent back the middle finger emoji, so I sent back the face blowing a kiss.

And my day was made.

It being Saturday, I had no classes, nor did Noel have to teach or get the kiddos to their sitter. This either meant Aspen was going to be overwhelmed and grow irritated with us all for being home together all day, or she’d be happier because she wasn’t stuck alone yet again while we were gone.

Preparing for the worst but hoping for the best, I walked Beau from our room and down the hall toward the kitchen. We both fell to a surprised halt when we reached the doorway to find Aspen out of her room and pacing the floor with Lucy Olivia in her arms.

“Mama!” Beau cried ecstatically and surged forward. I reached forward to stop him, but he slipped right through my fingers. “Do you feel better? You’re not sick anymore?” He threw his arms around her legs and hugged her tight.

From the counter where he was preparing a bottle, Noel whirled around to gape in horror at his son. “Whoa, buddy. Let’s give Mom a little space while she’s holding the baby, okay? Help me make this bottle, will you?”

Lucy O made a whiny grumble, and I’m sure Noel froze and held his breath just as much as I did while we waited for Aspen’s reaction. But she merely started jiggling the infant soothingly and making shh sounds. I exhaled, and Noel encouraged his son to help him with the bottle.

My brother and I were both overly tense at breakfast. I helped get food on the table without talking much, afraid anything I said would upset the moment. But Aspen joining us in the kitchen was just…this was new. I don’t think either Noel or I could trust it as a good thing, though. I kept worrying that Beau bringing up her “sickness” would set her off again, or Lucy O would cry and she’d lose it. But none of that happened.

Noel trying to be too helpful was what actually pissed her off.

“Want me to hold her while you eat?” he offered, already reaching out his arms to take the baby.

Aspen scowled and snapped, “Will you just relax already? I think I can hold my own baby.” And she stood up from her chair and stormed from the room with Lucy O in her arms.

Noel’s shoulders sank. Beau darted glances between me and his dad, and I just sighed.

“What do you need me to do?” I asked quietly.

He glanced meaningfully at his son. I nodded.

We both loved that Aspen was out of her room, but neither of us wanted to overwhelm her with too much at once. And when it came to Beau, he was an all or nothing kind of kid. He’d want to climb all over her, and talk to her, and probably scare her right back into hiding.

So as soon as breakfast was over and the place was cleaned up, I texted my sister.

Sweet. That was just what I wanted to hear, so the kid and I knocked on her front door within the hour.

Ten opened it with an overeager Teagan wiggling in his arms. That split second of seeing the scars on his face hit me with the usual regret before Julianna’s words rang through my head.

Maybe you should see it as a reminder of how much you’re loved.

And that actually helped. Instead of more guilt and shame for causing it, I let the idea that he’d gone through all that because he liked me seep into my bones.

“Bo Bo,” Teagan screamed, jerking me back to the present, right before she launched herself at her cousin as soon as Ten set her on the ground. “Come play with me.”

She grabbed Beau’s hand, and the two scampered off down the hall, almost trampling Caroline who was entering the front room.

“Watch out,” she laughed, darting out of the way so the two ankle-biters could dash by her to their destination. Then she turned to her husband. “I’m going to grab my camera and laptop, and give you a moment to let loose and curse with Colton like I know you really want to, before I snag him away for Vine duty, okay?”

Ten snorted, pretending innocence. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, baby. I don’t feel the need to curse.”

She’d put up a rule that he had to watch his language around Teagan after the two-and-a-half-year-old ripped out an expletive in the middle of the grocery store about a month back. And since potty-mouth was Ten’s native language, he was probably itching to drop a couple f-bombs right about now.

Caroline smiled knowingly. “Yeah right. I’ll let you two to it now.” She lifted up onto her toes to press her lips briefly to his. They both ignored me when I pretended to gag. Ten went as far as to growl hungrily in his throat and wrap an arm around her waist, pulling her closer.

“I know what I do feel the need to do,” he answered against her mouth when she started to pull away and then reached for her when she stepped back.

Laughing, she danced out of his hold and sent him a suggestive smile, mouthing the word later before disappearing from the room.

He watched her go hungrily.

So I jabbed him in the gut. “Stop staring at my sister’s ass, you fucking perv.”

He continued to stare long after she was gone and slapped back at me blindly. “Stop touching me, fuck face. You make my dick limp like no one else.”

I cringed. “That’s sick. You’re such a sick motherfucker. I don’t know what person in their right mind ever thought it was okay to let a sick psycho fucker like you around me when I was little.”

He finally grinned my way. “Someone who thought you needed to grow up awesome, I’d say. Too bad it didn’t stick. You turned out to be a fucking little fucker, for fuck’s sake.”

I rolled my eyes. “What the fuck ever. You wouldn’t recognize awesome if it came up and licked you in the asshole.”

Ten snickered. “You really need to stop this obsession you have with my asshole, asshole. That belongs to your sister. And speaking of licking, who’s been licking yours? You’re fucking glowing like you just got your cherry popped.”

When my mouth fell open and I could only gape at him, he lifted his eyebrows in surprise. “Really?” he said, sounding shocked. “Well, congratulations, buddy.” He slapped me companionably on the back. “I mean, it’s a little late for you to be losing your v-card because what are you, now, thirty-eight? But it was sweet of some chick to throw you a pity fuck. She must’ve been a real trooper.”

“I wasn’t a virgin, you dick. And that was yesterday. How...?” I shook my head, completely flabbergasted over how he’d been able to figure out so much from just looking at me.

His brow quirked again with another bout of shock. “No shit? All this is from way back to yesterday, huh?” He circled his hand around my face. “And it wasn’t even your first time? Fuck, she must be the one.”

I blinked. “The what?”

“The one,” he repeated, stressing the word this time as if that explained everything. When I only shook my head, clueless, he sighed and rolled his eyes. “You know, the one. The fucking one. Like Caroline is my one. Shakespeare is Gam’s one. Hot Wheels is Butthead’s one.”

I stared at him a moment before bursting out with, “You’re out of your fucking mind.” While inside, something jumped, something a little panicked but also a little excited.

“And you’re fucking sweating, kid, because you know I’m right.”

“Whatever. You can’t tell that kind of shit after one round of sex.” Okay, technically two rounds...or about six if you wanted to count how many orgasms I’d given her. Because, holy shit, those totally counted in my book.

Ten snorted. “The fuck you can’t tell. Haven’t you heard those songs about it being in his kiss? That’s how you can tell if you love him, or whatever. Well, that’s the chick’s version. The dude’s version would be more like, it’s in her pussy. That’s how you tell.”

“You’re fucking whack,” I told him with all seriousness. “I can’t believe someone actually let you have a kid.” Okay, I wasn’t so serious about that—he was a decent dad—but everything he was saying about sex...totally whack.

It had to be.

Ten only shrugged with a look that told me to go ahead and believe what I wanted; he was still right. “I’m just telling you, you can tell.” Caroline walked into the room and his gaze immediately found her. “Yeah, you can definitely fucking tell,” he murmured appreciatively. “You’re just too chicken shit to admit it to yourself.”

“So...?” Caroline grinned, rubbing her hands together as she approached us. She had two bags—a camera bag and laptop satchel—looped over her shoulder. “Did you get it all out of your system yet?” she asked her husband.

He shook his head, staring at her. “I’ll never get you out of my system.”

Her face bloomed with pleasure, her cheeks brightening with a healthy glow as she grinned. Then she shook her head and laughed. “I meant did you get your incessant need to cuss out of your system, you crazy man.”

“Oh.” He winked at her. “Yeah, that neither.”

He kissed her again, and I groaned.

“God, you guys really make me puke in my mouth sometimes, you know that?”

Caroline laughed and finally turned her attention to me. “You’ll understand someday, bubba.” Then she leaned up to kiss my cheek only to pause and blink as she studied my face. “You look different today, like you’re extra happy or content, or I don’t know. But it’s like you’re glowing or something.”

When Ten burst out laughing, I glared and flipped him off. “Shut it, fucker.”

Caroline glanced between us, clearly confused. “What did I miss?”

Ten leaned in to kiss the side of her neck. “Just boy talk, baby.”

“That means sex stuff.” She immediately shifted away from me and wrinkled her nose. “Eww, I don’t want to hear anymore, especially if it has to do with my baby brother.”

“It does,” I said, immediately shutting down her curiosity because if she thought I was serious about some girl, she’d spread the rumor through the family in a heartbeat, and it’d reach Brandt within the hour. “On another note, I have a cooking Vine idea,” I added, and bam, she was successfully diverted.

Eyes lighting with excitement, she cheered, “Yay. I love the kitchen skits. What’s your idea?”

“Well…”

We worked on making a six-second video in the kitchen. It took us four tries to get the first scene right; Caroline was a stickler for good lighting. Any glare or shadow bugged the crap out of her. But about ten minutes later, she was finally satisfied with the two-second clip where she handed me a casserole dish and told me, “Keep this warm in the oven at 120 degrees.”

In the second part, I knelt down in front of the opened door of the oven with the casserole and used a protractor trying to angle it a literal 120 degrees. At first we tried to find physical things to prop it up, but in the end, we decided it’d be funnier if we edited it to make it look as if the casserole was floating at that angle.

“Perfect.” Caroline grinned as she played back the final cut on the screen of her laptop. We watched it a few rounds before she asked, “Any luck on the tree and chainsaw?”

“Hmm? No, not yet.” I pointed toward the screen. “I like that one. Post it.”

“Done,” she singsonged after a few clicks of the keypad. “What next?”

“Get off my back.”

“Well, geez.” She widened her eyes and sent me a look that called me prickly. “I just thought you’d have another idea.”

“No, I meant ‘get off my back’ is my next idea.”

She blinked at me a moment before it sunk in. Then she snorted out a laugh. “Oh…I get it. I’ll tell you something, and you’ll say hey, get off my back, and then we’ll pan out to show that I’m literally riding on your back. Awesome. Let’s do it.”

Most of the day continued that way. We paused for lunch and took a few minutes to check in on Ten and the kids.

I held the camera and pressed record just as Caroline asked how everything was going. Beau and Teagan totally ignored us, but Ten scowled at the camera and flipped us off.

That was his signature Vine move. All our followers loved him. The only thing he ever did was flip the camera off, and I swear our fans went wild every time. It was crazy, but we liked to make them happy too, so we threw in a “Ten bird” pretty frequently. One time, he kissed his middle finger and then blew it at the camera, and some crazed chick fan loved it so much she mailed us her underwear to give him.

Caroline had not been amused, even though Ten and I hadn’t been able to stop laughing.

By the time evening wore down to night and both Caroline’s and my brain felt fried and drained of all humorous video ideas, we decided to call it a day.

We checked in on Beau and Teagan to find that both kids were passed out asleep together on top of the blankets and pillows piled on the floor in front of the television. Caroline went to her daughter, stepping over the legs of her husband, who was passed out in the easy chair and scooped Teagan into her arms.

“You guys can hang out as long as you need to,” she whispered to me as she passed.

I nodded and tugged my phone from my pocket.

I asked Noel and pressed send.

If everyone was asleep at home or even awake but in good spirits, he would tell me it was okay to proceed home. If there were any problems, he’d give me a time I should delay before venturing back.

But tonight, the only reply I received was:

I stared at the word, not sure what to make of it. I started to ask what was wrong, but I was kind of afraid of the answer.

My fingers were still twitching to type and my eyes were glued to that one word when Caroline reentered the room empty-armed.

“What’s wrong?” she immediately asked, taking in my face.

I showed her the screen of my phone. She sucked in a breath and gripped my arm. “Get over there. Now. Beau can stay here tonight.”

I nodded and slapped a kiss to her cheek before dashing toward the door.

My hands were still shaking when I pulled into my driveway fifteen minutes later. All the lights in the house were blaring brightly from every window, so everyone must still be awake.

Not sure if Aspen or Lucy O was the problem tonight, I parked and killed the engine before jogging to the back door and pulling it open.

The first thing I heard was yelling—Aspen’s yelling—then from the other direction of the house came Lucy Olivia’s wailing.

“I can’t take this anymore. I just can’t take it!” Aspen screamed.

“Well, what the fuck do you want me to do?” Noel boomed back, just as loud, which startled the shit out of me.

Since Aspen’s postnatal depression had begun and she’d started having screaming episodes, Noel had become the soul of patience. Before, he’d been the first to lose his temper and raise his voice. But when his wife had gotten sick, nothing. He’d remained even-tempered and calm, only worried about soothing her.

Until tonight.

“What?” he was shouting with a rasp in his voice as if he might’ve been shouting for a while. “I’ve been working my ass off to do right by you, and it all seems to be fucking wrong. So what am I supposed to do, huh? You tell me.”

After rushing to their room, I skidded through the doorway before Aspen could yell some answer that would probably do no one any good. “No,” I said, lifting both hands and spreading them between the couple where they stood on opposite sides of the room from each other, facing off. “No more. You.” I pointed at Noel. “Take a walk. Right now.”

He glared and even took a step toward me. He looked so hopped up on anger I was sure he would’ve hit me just to release some of the testosterone rushing through him. But very sternly and very succinctly, I ordered, “Go cool off.”

Stopping in his tracks, he took another moment to inhale, and then he nodded and strode from the bedroom.

Aspen immediately burst into tears and collapsed onto the bed, burying her face in her hands. Lucy O continued to scream from down the hall in her nursery, but I walked to my sister-in-law and sat by her, placing my palm on the back of her head.

“I love you,” I said. “We all love you.” I hoped I stressed that enough so she’d understand I meant Noel loved her too. “No matter what.”

A shudder wracked her frame when she sobbed.

I wanted to say more. We were all freaked out about how bad some of her episodes would go. Could she actually become suicidal? The very thought made my stomach lurch with fear. But the baby kept crying. Making her quiet would have to help alleviate some of the tension around here. So I kissed Aspen’s hair and said, “I’m going to go check on Lucy O.”

She nodded, letting me know she’d heard, and I touched her hair again, hoping to God she’d be okay. Then I hurried from the room and down the hall.

“Hey, little girl,” I said in a soft soothing voice as I neared the crib. She quieted just hearing me but still continued to sniff and whimper when I held her against my chest and patted her back. “It’s okay now. Mom and Dad stopped yelling. No reason to get so upset. It’s over, baby girl.”

I paced the room with her until she calmed down completely. Then I checked her diaper, which was full, and I changed that. Afterward, we got a bottle, and I rocked her in the glider, feeding her until she fell asleep in my arms.

Probably about half an hour had passed since I’d come in to check on her before I was laying her limp sleeping body back into her bed. Then I stood there a moment, watching over her before I heaved out a breath, shook my head, and left the room.

I checked on Aspen next. She was passed out in basically the same pose I’d left her, but her face was turned my way with her eyes closed. Her shoulders lifted every few seconds with every breath she took, telling me she was alive, but I still stole silently to her side and gently placed my hand on her cheek a second before I left again.

Not sure what condition I’d find my brother in, I stepped outside into the darkness of the backyard and stopped in my tracks when I heard sniffling from the picnic table.

Fuck. He was crying.

I think I would’ve rather tried to handle a pissed-off Noel.

With no idea what I was going to say to him, I shoved my hands into my pockets and shuffled down the ramp, then to the table and sat on the bench across from him. My eyes began to adjust to the dark just enough to make out him resting his elbows on the tabletop with his head in his hands.

“Both ladies are finally asleep,” I said quietly.

“Good.” He sat upright and wiped his face with both hands. “Thank you. Where’s Beau?”

“He fell asleep watching movies with Teagan so Caroline said he could stay the night.”

“Probably for the best.” His voice sounded hoarse, which killed me.

“Man, what happened tonight?”

He immediately hung his head. “I don’t know. I just…I lost it. I swore to myself when this started that I would never lose my shit. I wouldn’t lose my temper, I wouldn’t yell, I wouldn’t…fuck, but I totally lost it.” He wiped his face again and sniffed. “I can’t believe I yelled at her. I know she can’t help it. I know it only makes things worse. Why couldn’t I just keep it to-fucking-gether?”

I shrugged. “Because you’re human.”

A bitter laugh spilled from him. “A little too human tonight. I can usually read her better. I can tell when she wants space or when she needs me around. I guess she wanted space tonight, except I tried to be there. Big mistake.”

“But a fixable one,” I reasoned. “From what I heard, neither of you said anything that couldn’t be taken back. You’re still… tonight was a hiccup. That’s all.”

“Yeah, but how much longer is this shit going to last? The therapy sessions haven’t worked. The medicine hasn’t worked. Nothing I do works. I just want my wife back. My children want their mother. I want…Jesus fucking Christ, I hate this. I hate being so fucking worthless and helpless to her. I hate not being able to fix anything. Why does nothing I do help her?”

When he couldn’t speak anymore, emotion clogged my veins before I cleared my throat and shook my head. “I don’t think what you’re doing is worthless. I think maybe it is working. You are helping her. But maybe all the stuff that’s been fixed on the inside just hasn’t started showing results on the outside yet.”

Noel didn’t immediately answer. He waited a quiet, contemplative moment before saying, “Maybe. I hope so.” Then he lifted his gaze to me. “Thank you, Colton. For everything. I don’t know what we would’ve done without you tonight. You saved the day.”

JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 20

I only received those three text messages from Colton on Saturday morning. I don’t know how, but they kept me full of hope and promise and excitement throughout the entire day, and yet they didn’t…because I wanted more from him.

It was like reading a really good book. I wanted to rush through it because I wanted it all now, and yet I wanted to draw it out and make it last for as long as possible because I didn’t want it to end.

The damn boy was conflicting my heart.

I ignored the little warning bells clanging in the back of my mind, telling me how bad it was to count on and look forward to my next encounter with him because it wasn’t serious between us, we weren’t starting anything long-term. But I didn’t want to think about that. So I didn’t.

I was still rocking my afterglow all through Saturday. I even smiled during karaoke night at the bar. And I smiled as I fell asleep that night when I got home from work.

The next morning, I woke with a grin because my phone was chiming with a new message. Not sure how I knew it was him, but I did. I was even sure I knew what it’d say.

And I was right.

I replied:

And then ran my fingers over the screen where his name was displayed at the top.

He quipped back:

And that was our communication for the day.

I didn’t realize I had the phone pressed to my heart until I was leaving the bedroom with it. Blushing hard, I hurried it back to my nightstand to set it down, cleared my throat, and made my way to the kitchen.

Theo was the only one stirring. He grumbled a halfhearted greeting from where he stood leaning against the counter and hovered over the coffeepot that was still brewing as he bit into a piece of toast.

“Morning,” I chirped, unable to stop smiling until I opened the cabinet to pull down my special loaf of wheat bread so I could make myself some toast too. The bag was still there, but it was empty save for a few crumbs.

Mouth falling open, I turned to gape at Theo as he swallowed the last piece of my bread. He’d never eaten my bread before. I don’t think he even liked wheat bread. “What…?” I started, completely confounded.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said with his mouth still full as he lifted his hand to his bulging cheeks. “Was that your bread?”

I blinked, still confused. “You know it was my bread,” I said slowly. He’d seen me eat that bread every morning he’d ever stayed overnight with Tyla.

“My bad.” He shrugged and dropped his hand, smirking. “I could’ve sworn you only took it white these days.”

I gasped and slapped his arm. “You fucking son of a bitch. How dare you?”

He laughed and dodged away from me, only to grow serious a few seconds later. “For real, Juli? What the fuck? If you were that hard up, you should’ve just said something. I know plenty of black guys who would’ve agreed to hook up with you.”

“Oh, well thank you so much,” I sneered sarcastically. “I didn’t realize I was so freaking lame that you were willing to set me up with just any benevolent guy handing out pity fucks.”

“Hey, anything would’ve been better than you picking up some white jackass. I mean, seriously. It’s fucking embarrassing. What am I supposed to tell my crew when they ask about how one of my girl’s roommates is fucking a—”

“Yo, man, leave her be,” Chad chastised as he came shuffling into the kitchen, bare-chested with his track pants hanging low on his waist. “The guy can’t help what color he is.” He went straight to the coffeepot where it had just finished brewing and poured himself a cup. “My momma’s half white and dad’s a quarter Filipino. I have relatives all over the color spectrum, and honestly, we’re basically all the same. We smile when we’re happy, cry when we’re sad, eat when we’re hungry, and sleep when we’re tired. Juli did nothing wrong, so stop hating.”

When he took a sip and arched his eyebrows warningly at Theo, Theo sniffed. “But everyone’s going to assume she thinks she’s too good for us now. You know they are.” Then he glanced at me with a look that told me that’s exactly what he thought of me.

“Then that’s their problem,” Chad answered, throwing a supportive arm around my shoulders and tugging me close. “Not ours.”

I lowered my face and hugged myself, feeling suddenly vulnerable. I hadn’t thought about how my decisions with Colton would impact my roommates or their boyfriends. Back at home, it’d been easy to stay within the limits of my own kind. There had been a lot more noticeable division in groups there. But when I’d come here to college, everyone seemed lumped together and a lot more diversely interspersed. Over the past couple years, it’d been easier to see exactly what Chad had just said; we were all basically the same, so much so I didn’t even see a white guy when I was with Colton. I just saw him.

“Just ignore him, Juli,” Chad told me, jostling my shoulder to get a response from me. Except Sasha chose that moment to enter the kitchen and discover her boyfriend cuddled up with me as I looked all morose and contemplative.

She slowed to a stop, glancing between us before slowly asking, “What’d I miss?”

“Asshole over there’s giving our girl shit because of her new man,” Chad explained.

“I wasn’t giving her shit,” Theo immediately defended himself. “I was just saying…people are going to talk.”

“Do you have a problem with it?” I asked Sasha, my gaze seeking and scared. “With me and Colton being together?”

Her mouth fell open, and for a moment she looked cornered, but then she glanced at her boyfriend before turning back to me and shaking her head. “No, of course not. I just want you to be happy.”

“And Tyla?” I pressed. I hadn’t talked to either roommate since Friday. They’d gone out with their men that night and stayed over at their places, then hadn’t come home before I’d left for work yesterday. My gaze veered meaningfully toward Theo before I returned to Sasha. “Does Tyla have a problem with it?”

She had to have been the one to tell Theo about Colton, and if he was making an issue out of it, then maybe it was because she’d made one to him.

“Do I have a problem with what?” Tyla asked as she walked in.

“Apparently you need to have some words with your man,” Sasha immediately charged. “He’s giving Juli shit because of her choice of flings.”

“I was not!” Theo cried, lifting his hands innocently. “I just said—”

He was going to lie again and try to play it off like he was simply concerned about me, while honestly, I just wanted to be over this conversation. So I cut him off, blurting, “He ate all my bread.”

Tyla blinked at me a moment before lifting her eyebrows his way. “Why would you do that? You know that’s JuJu’s special bread.”

“I was hungry,” he protested. “I wasn’t paying attention to whose bread it was, baby. I just…”

I didn’t listen to the rest of his excuse. I had already eased out from under Chad’s arm and was escaping the kitchen. I returned to my room without coffee or breakfast. When I slumped onto my bed, I grabbed my pillow and rested my cheek against it, closing my eyes.

Whenever I was around Colton, everything seemed to live in this amazing technicolor moment. It was all so vivacious and alive. But then it was like I returned to reality whenever he was gone and, bam, the black and white facts had a way of slapping me right across the face sometimes.

I’d talked to him in public before, but I suddenly wasn’t sure how I would handle it if we held hands or—holy shit—what if he came into philosophy Monday morning and kissed me in front of everyone? It would be so bold. Bolder than I was. People would stare, some of them would whisper, and not always nice things. I wasn’t the type of person who made those kinds of waves. I wore bland colors—blacks and whites and grays and tans—and I took care to make sure I was one hundred percent presentable with no reasons for other people to gossip about me whenever I left home. I didn’t like sticking out from the crowd.

Being in an interracial relationship would cause more notice than I wanted.

And what if Theo had been right, and people said I thought I was too good for the black guys now? I didn’t want anyone thinking I wasn’t proud of my heritage because I was, from my hoodoo grandma, to my strong equal-rights-advocate father, and all the way back to my enslaved ancestors. They had gone through hell and came out on the other side survivors. Of course I was honored to come from that kind of strength and endurance. I already had hours and hours of stories prepared to tell my children and grandchildren someday about our amazing roots.

It all made me experience a niggle of shame as if I’d betrayed my people or something.

But then…then Colton’s face flashed through my head. An image of his ornery grin and glittering brown eyes trickled in, followed by the look on his face the last time he’d come inside me, and the feel of his hands as he held me so tenderly afterward, his voice in my ear as he told me his secrets. And then I felt as if I’d betrayed him for even having one iota of doubt about us.

Chad had been right; when it came down to it, there was no difference between us. We were all human. And besides, I’d just proclaimed my proud, sturdy stock. I could weather a little nasty talk. I wasn’t going to let any barbed words or censorious glares buckle me under. Nothing was going to take away the joy I experienced whenever I was with Colton.

That was until I walked into the Forbidden Nightclub later that afternoon and saw his brother behind the counter, setting up for our shift.

His head was bent as he rested one hand on the bar’s countertop and checked the CO2 tanks connected to the tap under the counter.

I slowed to a stop, not sure how to act around him now that I was sleeping with his brother behind his back…per his brother’s request.

When I’d first met him, I had decided I liked Brandt for practical reasons. He was handsome. He was helpful with training me when I’d started working here. And he’d been so congenial and easy to talk to. All that had made me think he’d make perfect boyfriend material. And being close to him, like when he’d leaned past me to grab a glass, I would feel delicious chills.

But I’d never felt a dramatic spike in my blood pressure at his mere approach, not like I did every time Colton had come around. So that told me right there that I’d just wanted to like him more than I really had. Still…it felt weird that I’d switched my interest between brothers like this.

Blowing out a breath, I approached the bar. As I drew closer, I realized he’d known I’d still been thinking of him at his wedding. He’d purposely tossed Colton at me, which still irked my conscience, but it also meant he probably right at this moment thought I was carrying a torch for him.

When he glanced up and his gaze instantly went cautious, I ground the back of my teeth, not sure how to handle this.

“Hey,” I greeted with a friendly smile. “I don’t think we’ve worked together since you tied the knot.”

“Yeah, I know. I asked to have my hours cut damn near in half.” He sighed wearily and rubbed a hand over his face.

I gulped, suddenly guilty because he’d backed off from making a living just to avoid me. But shit, he didn’t have to quit his job because of me. What the hell was I going to do to fix this?

But then he added, “This doctorate program is kicking my ass, and clinicals…fuck. I don’t know how I have time for anything. Then Sarah’s trying to convince me it’s okay to stop working altogether until I’m done with school. She got a decent job this summer, working from home. But seriously, what the hell kind of lame-ass man would I be if I put all the monetary responsibilities squarely on her shoulders?”

“Probably one who’d make your wife deliriously happy,” I answered without thinking.

Brandt blinked and shook his head. “Excuse me?”

My face heated, and I took a moment to hurry behind the counter with him to stow my purse and coat away before turning back and answering as politically correctly as I could. “I’m just saying…I find Sarah to be a very proud woman. She likes it when she goes above and beyond her disability to accomplish something. So I just thought, you know…if she had the chance to support you, heck, support the both of you with her income alone while you finished school, she’d just…I could just see her loving that.”

Brandt stared at me a second, his mouth falling open before he said, “Huh. You may be right. In fact, I think you’re pretty spot on with that idea.”

“Of course I am.” I sent him a little grin over my shoulder before I turned away to prepare the cash register. “I know how my fellow woman thinks. And this kind of opportunity would tickle her like you wouldn’t believe. Trust me. Plus, it would take some stress off your shoulders, and…well, I’m sure Pick would give you your job back if it didn’t work out.”

Brandt rested his back against the counter next to me and fiddled with his bottom lip as he contemplated my words. “You make a good argument.”

I laughed and patted his arm. “I have my moments.”

As I dropped my fingers, I realized something. I still liked Brandt—he was a likable guy. But I think I’d come to like him now mostly because he was related to Colton. It was like brotherly affection.

“Hey,” Pick said, popping out from the back hall. “How’s opening going? You guys need anything?”

I jumped, not expecting him, as Brandt turned to answer him. “All good here, boss.”

Pick rolled his eyes at the term and glanced toward the exit. “Some of the guys are coming by for a drink tonight. Let me know when they get here, okay?”

His attention veered back to Brandt, the question obviously addressing him and not me, since I had no clue who “the guys” were.

Brandt seemed to know who Pick meant. He groaned and winced. “Jesus, you all are pathetic. You know this place is a college scene, right? If you old geriatric fogies crowd in here for your milk and Metamucil you’re going to scare off the real customers.”

“Hey, fuck you, kid.” Pick—who had to be in his early thirties—pointed threateningly even as he laughed over Brandt’s summation. “Back in our day, we made this joint. Don’t bash the legends.” He glanced at me and started back toward his office again. “Keep this jackass in line, Juli.”

After he was gone, I shook my head and sent Brandt an amazed glance. “Then again, maybe Pick wouldn’t give you your job back if you left.”

He laughed and shook his head. “Eh, Pick’s like family. I don’t have anything to worry about from him.” Then he opened the cooler and frowned inside. “We don’t have much Angry Orchard. If Asher shows up, that’s what he’ll want. I’m going to go check the back for more.”

“Okay,” I answered and picked up a rag to wipe away a couple drops of water that had splattered onto the countertop after he’d fished around in the cooler.

From the front of the bar, the head waitress, Mandy, called that she was unlocking the doors and opening us for business.

Since it was a Sunday, I didn’t foresee a rush. So I tugged my cell phone from my pocket and checked the screen for a new message. There weren’t any—I know, sadness—so I opened the old ones and reread the last note Colton had sent me, calling my ass sexy.

I smiled affectionately and ran my thumb over his words, calculating how many hours it was now before I’d get to see him again. Right around twenty-four, I guessed.

Hearing a customer approach, I quickly slipped the phone in my pocket and looked up. “Hey!” I greeted warmly. “Need a drink?”

The guy who’d paused in front of the counter turned, and I blinked when I saw half his face was covered in little spiraling scars, but you had to be standing as close as I was to him to really see them. What was even weirder, something about him looked familiar. I knew I’d seen him somewhere.

He seemed similarly shocked to see me. “Holy fuck!” he gasped. “I’d heard Pick had finally hired the first chick bartender for this place, but no one had ever mentioned you were drop-fucking-dead gorgeous. The man’s a genius. A fucking genius. How long have you worked here?”

“Um…” I blinked over his bluntness but answered anyway. “It’ll be a year in March.”

“Really?” His eyebrows shot up. “Damn, I need to get out more. Has anyone ever told you you look like Rihanna?”

I sucked in a breath, not expecting anyone to say that about me ever again. No one had since the first night I’d met Colton, and no one had before that either.

Behind me, someone groaned. “Oh, Jesus. Not you too. That’s who Colton said she looked like.” I whirled around to find that Brandt had rejoined me behind the bar and was stuffing some bottles into the cooler. But then…realizing this guy must know Colton since Brandt had mentioned him, I turned back to the customer and studied him with a little more interest.

Finally, it struck me where I’d seen him before. At Brandt’s wedding. He’d been one of the groomsmen. One groomsman had been Brandt’s brother while the other had been labeled a brother-in-law.

Holy shit. Scarred face. Brother-in-law. This must be Ten, the one who’d fallen off a cliff embankment to save Colton’s life.

“Did he really?” Ten asked Brandt, grinning and straightening as if proud to hear he and Colton had said the same thing about me. “I knew I raised that kid right.”

I didn’t know him from Adam, but I kind of suddenly wanted to crawl over the counter and just hug this guy. Colton would be dead right now if it weren’t for him.

After digging into his back pocket, Ten pulled out a wallet, thumbed it open and extracted a crisp five-dollar bill. “Here you go, beautiful,” he said, extending it to me.

I took it slowly, confused. “What’s this for?”

Figuring he’d finally give me an order for whatever drink he wanted, he surprised me when he said, “That’s your tip.”

What? I shook my head. “But I haven’t served you anything yet.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that.” He plopped onto the stool in front of me and pointed toward Brandt. “Butthead there can get me my beer. So…” He clapped his hands. “Fetch, Fido.”

“Wait. You want me to serve you but you’re going to give my tip to Juli?” Brandt demanded.

“Uh…yeah.” Ten made a face as if that should be obvious. “She’s got much more curb appeal than you. Besides, I don’t tip dudes.”

“What the hell kind of brother-in-law are you?” Brandt grumped as he turned away to pull a bottle of Blue Moon from the cooler.

“The best kind. Now earn you pay, princess.” Glancing at me, he winked and quietly said, “Don’t you dare give that tip to him, either, Rihanna. I’ll make sure he gets something by the end of the night.”

I nodded just as Brandt stopped next to me and moodily plopped the bottle in front of his brother-in-law, then jerked the cap off with a bottle opener before turning away to toss the lid.

“Hey, where’s my orange slice?” Ten called.

Brandt glared back at him, muttering, “Really?”

I scooped one up with a toothpick from the condiment tray and held it out. “Here you go.”

“Why, thank you.” A blinding grin swung my way and then another five flashed in front of me. “Another tip for you.”

“You’re such a prick.” Brandt sighed and shook his head. “I assume you want me to start a tab for you?”

Ten had just plopped his orange into the bottle and was about to take a swig when he pulled back dramatically. “What? I actually have to pay for this shit? Pick!” he roared, making me realize my boss had strolled out from the hallway to his office and was joining us at the bar, where he was pulling up a stool next to Ten. “You invited us to your bar for drinks, and now you’re fucking charging us? What the hell, man?”

“Hello to you too.” Pick sat as he transferred his attention to Brandt. “And yeah…Ten’s drinks are on me tonight. As everyone else’s will be. Mason and Quinn should join us soon.”

“What? No Gam tonight?” Ten asked.

“No. I called, but Noel said it was a bad night. Both he and Colton were staying home with Aspen and the kids.”

I perked to attention at Colton’s name. And had they said Aspen? I was still curious who she was. He’d mentioned her before but had been too drunk to explain the relation.

Ten winced. “She had a bad day, huh?”

Pick sighed and nodded sadly. “And night last night, too, the way I hear it.”

“Colton said when he got home from your place last night,” Brandt told Ten, joining the conversation as he set an opened beer in front of Pick, “Lucy Olivia was hollering from her crib, and Aspen and Noel were in their room, hollering at each other.”

“Wait, what?” Ten shook his head as if to clear it. “Did you just say Gam was hollering at his wife? No fucking way.”

“I know.” Brandt shook his head, looking a little rattled himself. “But after Colton split them apart and got their baby settled, he went outside to talk to Noel, where he was cooling off, and…” He shook his head. “Man, I don’t know. He said Noel was all out of sorts, shaken and crying and pissed at himself for losing his temper. Colton still doesn’t know what they fought about, but whatever it was, it made Noel lose his steel patience and just…snap.”

“Jesus.” Ten shook his head as if he were shell-shocked. “That postnatal depression shit really is a nasty bitch, isn’t it? If it were a dude, I’d punch it straight in the nuts for them.”

I gulped as a mournful silence fell over the three men. I knew I probably wasn’t supposed to be listening in on their private conversation about Colton’s brother and his sister-in-law. But I’d had no idea what he’d gone through last night. The cutesie text he’d sent me this morning mentioned nothing of his family drama, which was kind of a slap in the face, reminding me that sharing family problems wasn’t really what our relationship was about.

No matter what kind of thoughts I’d been having about him all day, our terms had been sex and sex only.

But it sounded as if he’d had a really rough night, a night he’d had to fix even though he hadn’t been the one to mangle it.

I kind of wanted to comfort him now.

“Speaking of Colton,” Ten broke in, making me jump when his name came up yet again. “Who’s this new chick he’s fucking?”

Say what?

I froze, before slowly sliding my gaze his way. He was addressing Brandt, who was shaking his head in confusion. “Not sure what you mean,” he answered slowly. “He doesn’t have a girlfriend.”

“Well, he got laid,” Ten announced. “And he got laid good. I mean, I guess it happened the night before he came over to our place, and he was still rocking the happy juice then. I’m telling you, the kid looked as if he’d just been kissed by the goddess of all postcoital excellence. Some woman rocked his world right off its fucking axis.”

Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod! He was talking about me.

My face flamed hot, and I pressed my lips together, starting to turn away only to catch Pick watching me speculatively.

“No,” Brandt was saying with authority. “If Colton was seeing someone, I’d know about it.”

“Well, if he is,” Pick murmured, still watching me, “I’m sure he’ll talk about it when he’s ready.”

I blew out a breath and turned away, pressing my hand to my abdomen. He was going to keep our secret. I wasn’t sure I liked him knowing it in the first place, but I was glad he wasn’t going to tattle on us.

“Evening, guys. We’re not late, are we?” a new voice asked from behind me, making me turn back to take in the new arrivals.

Two more joined the group, taking stools on either side of Pick and Ten. Both of them I’d seen at the bar before and knew their names.

Dr. Hamilton was tall and hulky and about the most gorgeous young surgeon on the face of the planet. And what was even more amazing about him, he was also the nicest, sweetest and shiest man I’d ever encountered.

On the other side of him, equal parts as hot and nice as Dr. Hamilton, but maybe not quite so shy, was Mason Lowe. He was related to Pick, or their wives were related to each other, or something. I wasn’t quite sure. He stopped by a lot and went straight to Pick’s office. It was kind of strange to see him stop at the bar for a drink, though.

Oddly enough, I’d come to learn he was also the brother to Brandt’s wife, Sarah.

So, while Brandt headed straight to greet him, I turned my grin to Dr. Melt Me.

“Hi, Dr. Hamilton,” I greeted, my voice maybe, possibly a tad bit breathless. “What can I get you?”

His smile made my insides melt a little (yeah, I’d definitely nicknamed him aptly) before he said, “I’ll take a—”

“No, hey…” Ten lifted a hand across Dr. Hamilton’s chest. “We are not overworking the lovely Rihanna tonight and making her serve us. Butthead can fetch your drink.”

“Rihanna?” Dr. Hamilton frowned in confusion. “I thought her name was Julianna.”

“No shit? Is it really?” Ten swung his gaze to me with surprise. “So the name I assigned you actually rhymes with your real name? That’s so awesome!” He held out his hand to fist bump with me.

I couldn’t help it, I laughed and fist bumped him back.

“Here you go,” he added, handing me another five dollars. “This one’s for having an awesome name.” Then he clapped his hands to get Brandt’s attention so he could serve Dr. Hamilton.

And thus the night continued. No one mentioned Colton again—much to my disappointment—or tried again to theorize who his new fuck buddy was—much to my relief—but I kind of stuck near the group anyway. It wasn’t busy in the place and there was just something very drawing about them. I liked them, but more…I liked knowing about their ties to my man.

I knew I probably shouldn’t be labeling Colton as mine. But he was. After hearing how our night together had affected him, he was most definitely mine. I just wasn’t sure yet how long I would get to keep him.

One thing was certain, I wasn’t ready to give him up anytime soon.

JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 21

I was jumpy and nervous as I walked into philosophy the next morning. I still wasn’t sure what Colton was going to do.

I’d woken up to a text from him.

I hadn’t responded. I was too on edge, stressing about class. Would he sit by me, flirt with me, kiss me?

Of course he’d sit by me. Aside from that little glitch after the wedding where he’d been upset, he’d always come to me and flirted and talked whenever we were in the same room. But the kissing…I didn’t know. Did he do public displays of affection with the women he saw? Not that we were technically seeing each other, as in relationship-wise, but yeah, would he even touch me?

A part of me craved just that. After hearing last night how I’d rocked his world enough to make his brother-in-law notice the change, I was ready to grab his shirt, yank him close and molest his mouth senseless, while another part of me kind of dreaded it.

Was I really ready for this big of an announcement to the world yet? I was involved with a guy not of my own race. I had no idea why I didn’t stress about that issue as much when I’d been wanting to date Brandt. But now that something was actually happening between me and Colton, it was just…I didn’t even know. I was beginning to worry what everyone else would think, which I knew I shouldn’t, even as I did anyway.

My breath caught when he walked into the room, sipping from my mug, and suddenly I knew. Hell yes, I was ready to be seen in public with him.

My stomach fluttered as I straightened in my chair and glanced at the empty seat beside me. Thank God no one had sat there yet. I might’ve been forced to kick them out in order to make room for my man. But when I glanced toward Colton again, he was no longer in the doorway. Frowning, I searched the aisles until I spotted him falling into a seat clear on the other side of the room and behind me. My mouth fell open. He didn’t glance my way or even seem to notice I was present.

What the hell?

Wait, maybe he hadn’t seen me. I dug my phone from my backpack to text him when the professor arrived and immediately started class. Biting my lip, I set the phone down by my notepad and sighed. Too late.

I tried to take notes of the lecture—I really did—but I kept glancing over my shoulder toward Colton, who never once glanced back. I plopped my face into my hand as I rested my elbow on my desk and brushed my long bangs to the side out of my eyes just as my phone buzzed.

When I glanced down and saw Colton’s name, my stomach hitched with excitement. But then I read his message.

Excuse me?

I glanced back at him, frowning, and not at all sure what he was telling me to stop. Was he annoyed because I kept looking at him? Was this his way of telling me he was tired of me and ready to move on to a different woman now?

Clenching my teeth, I typed back:

I rolled my eyes and started typing.

He replied seconds later.

Grinning because he’d mentioned the top I had specially picked out to wear today just to drive him crazy, I set my phone down and purposely stretched as if yawning, lifting my arms over my head and arching back my shoulders, which pushed my chest forward.

An immediate text came through.

I pressed my hand to my mouth because it felt as if I probably shouldn’t be grinning quite this wide in the middle of philosophy class.

And then Colton wrote:

From that point on, I couldn’t control myself; I burst out laughing.

All my fellow students turned to gape at me, and even Dr. Taris stopped talking to arch an eyebrow in my direction.

“Though I’m sure the fact that Socrates was attracted to teenage boys might be amusing to some of you,” the professor intoned, staring down his nose disdainfully at me, “if you could contain your mirth for the duration of the lecture, that’d be great.”

I slapped my hand over my mouth and slumped low in my chair before mumbling, “Sorry.”

I’d had no idea we’d been discussing a philosopher’s freaking sexual proclivities in the middle of class. With my cheeks scorching with embarrassment, I risked a glance toward Colton.

He wasn’t looking at me, but there was a grin stretched across his face from ear to ear.

The bastard.

He added a winkie face, and that was the end of our foreplay in philosophy class. When we were finally dismissed a few minutes later, Colton left without approaching me or talking to me. But I received one more message that said:

And that was it.

Honestly, it was probably for the best that we didn’t get too close to each other right now. We really would’ve skipped class again and ended up at my place. But the sneaky devious devil, he must’ve known that he could wind me up without even speaking to me. I think I was more anxious to see him now than if he’d come straight up to me and started making out with me in the middle of class.

By the time five o’clock rolled around and he knocked on my door, I flung it open, beyond eager for round two of our sex-only agreement.

“Hey,” he started to greet me, only to be cut short by me grabbing a handful of his shirt. Then I jerked him into my apartment and kissed him. Hard. Before he could really orient himself, I dragged him back to my room, pushed him onto my mattress and crawled onto his lap, flashing him a glimpse of my pussy when my skirt came up enough to reveal I’d already taken my panties off.

“You have thirty seconds to get inside me, or I’m kicking you right back out of my bed,” I ordered as I ripped open his fly. “Is that perfectly clear?”

He was already hard when I pulled him into my hand.

Purring appreciatively, I wrapped my fingers around the base and stroked up until a bead of precum appeared from the tip.

“Christ, baby doll.” He grunted and dropped the condom he was trying to open.

“I’ll take care of that.” Snagging the package off his abs where he’d dropped it, I ripped it open with my teeth and rolled it on.

Colton had been half sitting up on his elbows, watching me. But then he fell back onto the pillows and gaped up at the ceiling with his lips parted and eyes dazed. When I sank down on him, he gasped and his incredulous gaze went to my face. “What the…uhhh.”

His eyes rolled back in his head as I moved, taking him deep and then pulling almost all the way off before lowering myself back onto him.

“Holy shit,” he rasped before tumbling us across the bed until he was on top. Then he sat up and began to thrust fast and hard, his gaze glued to my face the entire time. “You started this,” he warned breathlessly, telling me he’d reached a point beyond his control and was feverish to finish.

I just laughed and arched up my hips to meet each plunge, taking all of it in. Reaching around, I sank my nails into his bare ass and pulled him even more flush against me. Bracing his hands on either side of my face, he stared down at me and pierced my pussy hard with each word he gritted out. “Best…fuck…ever.”

When my cervix contracted and an orgasm started, I spread my arms wide and split my legs apart, letting it devour me. It flowed through every nerve ending in my body and felt like some kind of divine consumption. I relished every second.

God, I loved sex with Colton.

Panting above me as he spent himself, he hung his head and gasped for a breath, before exhaling and meeting my gaze. “Okay, these clothes need to come off.”

He sat back on his haunches so he could yank my skirt down my legs and then had me sit up so he could remove my top and bra.

I sent him an odd look but complied without protest. “But we’re already finished.”

He snorted. “With round one, yeah. Next time I plan to enjoy a couple more body parts along the way.” Then he hopped off the bed to remove his clothes as well as dispose of his condom. When he returned, he collapsed next to me on his side and grinned.

“So, hi,” he said, still a bit out of breath. “How was your day?”

“Fine,” I answered, rolling toward him and running my hand up his chest, then grinning over the skin I’d caused to get all flushed and moist. “How was yours?”

“It’s looking up.” He gripped my shoulder when I pushed him onto his back and then leaned over him so I could trail kisses up his torso.

“Yeah,” I had to agree. “Things are definitely improving as the day progresses.” Moving my attention up until I was hovering over his face and grinning down at him, I spiked my fingers into his hair and kissed him flush on the mouth.

“Mmmph.” His surprise muffled through his throat until he kissed me back.

Our tongues tangled and fingers gripped. Flesh slipped against flesh until he rolled me onto my back and he was on top again. He caged my face in his hands and kissed me a moment longer before pulling back and pressing his lips briefly to my forehead. Then he gazed into my eyes as if seeing me for the first time.

“Um…not that I’m complaining, but Jesus Christ, baby doll. What the hell’s gotten into you tonight? I could’ve sworn there for a minute that you were actually glad to see me.”

I wrinkled my nose, dismissing that idea. “Of course not. I think you just made me momentarily soft with that stupid cuddling bullshit you forced me to take part in last time. I’m sure I’ll get it out of my system soon.”

His grin flashed. “In that case.” He hopped off me and turned me onto my side so we were spooning. “We need to restock more cuddling powers into you so you’ll stay like this longer.” Then he sighed and relaxed into me, caressing his leg up the back of mine and fitting his resting junk right up against my ass crack as his chest pressed into my back. “Yeah, that hits the spot, doesn’t it?”

Yes, it did.

“Hmm, it’s not awful,” I allowed as I clutched his arm and held him right where he was. “I may even allow cuddling into our arrangement if you don’t fuck anything up in the next few minutes. But I still fully plan to pay you back for making me laugh in class at the worst moment ever.” Except even as I warned that, I closed my eyes and tipped my head back to rest it against his shoulder, totally unable to be mad at him for anything.

“And I’m still looking forward to it,” he answered, his fingers trailing up from my waist until he was cupping my breasts. Then he was rolling the ends of my nipple under his thumb. Arousal pierced me. I pressed my butt more firmly against his lap and shifted my legs restlessly alongside his. His other hand snuck down and found my clit.

“Damn you,” I said with a gasp, unable to keep from arching my hips into his hand. “How do you always make me like whatever you do?”

“I think it’s because you like me.”

I shook my head, totally denying that notion. “Impossible.”

He chuckled. “I am so going to make you admit it,” he warned, rolling us until he was on his back and I was on my back too, but on top of him. We both faced the ceiling as he toyed with my breasts and pussy simultaneously. “But until then, I’m going to fuck you, just like this.”

I blinked, not sure how he was going to accomplish that. But he showed me by grabbing another condom and then tilting my hips after he was suited up and pushing into me from behind. I arched up my back, surprised by the entrance. He couldn’t go very deep from this angle, but with his fingers on my clit and nipples, it only felt like that much more of a tease.

The tension in me built quickly, needing more and not quite getting it. I arched on top of him, trying to contort my body so that he could go deeper, but it wasn’t enough.

“Dammit,” he finally exploded before he rolled us across the mattress. As soon as I found myself on my stomach with him behind me, Colton came up onto his knees and started to pound, deep and fast.

I cried out, grateful to finally be getting what I needed. Gripping the sheets, I pressed my face into the bed and ground my ass back, forcing him to the hilt, and then I was finally able to come like I’d been aching to.

His fingers bit into my hips as he slammed forward. With a roar of release, he followed me into oblivion.

Once his passion sated, he collapsed on top of me, smooshing me into my mattress, though surprisingly, it was comfortable.

“Admit it,” he whispered pleadingly, pressing his face against the back of my shoulder.

“Okay, maybe I like you,” I whispered back.

I felt him smile in return.

“Are you staying the night?”

Colton glanced up from his textbook where he lay stretched out on the other side of my bed. “I don’t know. Am I?”

He’d stuck around after our two-timer, and somehow we’d ended up doing homework, of all things, on my bed together. For some reason, I hadn’t asked him to leave and he hadn’t suggested it. So for the longest time, we sat side by side, quietly studying with the occasional footsie game, until we both grew hungry. Then and only then did we leave the room—him to use the bathroom, me to make a plate full of cheese, crackers, and apple slices…oh, and Doritos along with a couple cans of pop. You know, survival food.

Both Tyla and Sasha were gone somewhere with their significant others, so I hurried back to my room where he was already once against stretched out on the bed and frowning at the worksheet he was supposed to fill out.

As I entered, he looked up and broke out grinning. “You rock. This looks perfect.”

We ate sitting with our legs crossed on the bed, facing each other and unable to stop swapping smiles as we polished off all the chips and a good portion of the goodies on the plate.

After that, we returned to studying until I grew tired. And since I wasn’t in any hurry for him to leave, I’d blurted out the question before I really thought through the implications. But when he gave me an out in case I changed my mind, it only made me want him to stay even more.

So I found myself saying, “Yeah. You’re staying.”

His smile was immediate. “Cool. I just need to check in with Aspen and Noel, let them know I won’t be home tonight.” He grabbed his cell phone and began to type out a text.

The name Noel made me remember the conversation I’d heard the night before at Forbidden, how his sister-in-law Aspen was suffering from postnatal depression and he’d had to help her and his brother end a fight.

Kind of wanting him to tell me about it, I blurted, “Who’s Aspen?” even though I’d discovered that answer already.

Colton looked up as he tossed his phone onto the nightstand next to mine. “What?”

“Aspen,” I said. “You mentioned her name the night of the wedding, but you were too drunk to really explain who she was.”

“Oh. She’s my sister-in-law, Noel’s wife, but kind of my mom too. She’s Beau and Lucy Olivia’s biological mom. They’re Noel’s kids. You remember Beau from our Chicken Dance, right?” When I nodded, he fell back against the pillows of my bed and tucked his arm under his head. “Aspen and Noel have been my legal guardians since I was eight. So most of the time, I think of them more as parents than siblings.”

His gaze swept down with a mournful kind of air, so I said, “You seem kind of sad about that.”

Eyes flashing up, he immediately answered, “No! Oh, shit, no. I love them. They were great. They are great. It’s just…”

“It’s just what?” I asked softly, easing down next to him.

He took my hand and interlaced our fingers before pressing his palm against mine and studying the different colors of our skin mixing. “Aspen got pregnant this last year, but she didn’t realize it until she was, like, four months along or something. The thing was, she was on birth control, so she immediately stopped, but she and Noel were freaked out for a while, worried there may be problems with the baby. Except every checkup came back normal, and Lucy Olivia was born right on time at the end of November, healthy as could be. The problem came when Aspen turned really unresponsive. They diagnosed her with postnatal depression. Most days she can’t even get out of bed. And when she does, she usually ends up crying or getting so upset she yells at people.” He shook his head and leaned against me. “It’s really traumatizing for all of us because Aspen is not like that. She’s sweet and kind and giving and selfless. This is just…it’s not her at all.”

I turned my face and kissed his shoulder. “Have you gotten her any help?”

“Sure. We’ve been to the doctor and set her up with a therapist, and he’s prescribed her some pills.” He shrugged. “Some days, it works. In fact, her good days are starting to outweigh the bad, but damn, those rare bad days are getting worse than ever. I don’t know if it’s her depression desperately trying to cling on or what, but those days really suck.”

I held my breath, bracing for him to tell me about the argument he’d had to settle Saturday night, but when he didn’t, I realized that was okay. I almost respected him more for preserving Noel and Aspen’s privacy.

“I bet that makes it hard for you to live there,” I murmured, playing with his hair.

He turned his face and studied me as I sifted my fingers through his silky locks. “They pulled me out of hell,” he said simply. “Then they raised me as one of their own in a new world full of amazing shit I never thought I’d possibly have. I owe my entire life to those two. So trust me, I’m more than happy to help them any way I can.”

Holy shit.

I stared at him, almost seeing a new person and yet the same one I’d known for almost a year. He was most definitely still flirty, carefree Colton, and yet he was more. So much more.

It was like he didn’t want anyone to know he was more, though. He hid his depths from people, like a magician. Sleight of hand, trick of the eye, smoke and mirrors. He stood in front of the crowd, making a big production with colorful scarves and wands, and big black hats—or in his case, flirting egotistical smiles and inappropriate advances—while all the while he took your attention off what was really going on, right in front of your eyes, and concealed the very best parts of himself.

Eyebrows crinkling, he self-consciously demanded, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

I shook my head, not about to tell him what I’d just discovered. “No reason,” I murmured. I still wasn’t all that sure what to do with this newfound information anyway. It only made me like him more, made me want him more, made me want…just more. And that wasn’t what we’d agreed on.

If I didn’t watch myself, I was going to take all this “mine” business I kept saying whenever I thought of him, and I was going to get myself hurt.

“I’m just pleasantly surprised by your family devotion,” I said. Then I patted his chest as a way to help me not fall too deeply into the moment. With a sigh, I started to climb off the bed. “I’m going to go change into my pajamas. Be right back.”

I fled the room, needing a moment to adjust to what had just happened, or what I’d just realized about myself, which was that it was already too late to back off; I’d fallen for Colton Gamble completely.

JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 22

My hands shook as I conditioned my hair and tied it up, and they continued to shake as I cleaned my face and changed into the sexiest pair of pajamas I owned.

Why were they shaking? I wasn’t sure. I mean, this wasn’t the first time I thought I was in love with a guy. I’d been positive Shaun had been the one, but look how that had ended. He’d been a slime ball. So honestly, I shouldn’t trust my emotions at all.

Things with Colton felt so different, though. I’d wanted to fall for Shaun; I’d fought it the entire time with Colton. Opening my heart to him seemed scary and bold and dangerous. I knew he could hurt me like no one else because I’d given him more weapons to do so…I’d freaking confided things to him. And if he wasn’t the one to hurt me, what would everyone else think about us being together? What if their scorn broke me?

Maybe Theo had been right. They were all looking down on me now. I mean, even my two best friends had been giving me a wide berth since Colton and I had started our affair. They might’ve acted supportive and curious before anything had ever happened, but now that it had, neither of them had demanded a single detail from me like they said they would. That worried me; just not enough to give up on what I had with Colton.

He was worth it. He was worth the objections we’d probably receive from both our families and possibly even our friends. He was worth the heartbreak I was almost certain would come. He was worth all of it.

I just wasn’t sure if he felt that way too, or if he was still just having fun with me.

One thing was certain, I couldn’t ask him. I was too scared to learn whether all this was unrequited or not.

Deciding I’d just wing it and continue having fun like we were, see where things went from here, I returned to the bedroom, a little giddy when I saw his shoes on the floor as I opened the door.

He hadn’t left yet. That thrilled me to no end.

He snickered from my bed as I shut the door behind me.

“What’s so funny?” I asked before I realized he was lying on his stomach but had the upper half of his torso propped up on his forearms as he read from my Kindle. I pulled in a sharp, embarrassed gasp. No! “Are you reading my book?”

He motioned toward my nightstand, letting me know that’s where he’d found it, as if anything laying there was community property or something. Then he laughed again. “I can’t believe you actually read this shit. It’s fucking hilarious. This dude just came like five times inside this chick, like right in a row. In what universe is that even believable?”

Oh my God, of course he’d found a sex scene of all things. “It’s fiction,” I argued defensively as I yanked my Kindle from his hand. “I like it a little bit unbelievable. That’s why I read it, you moron. To escape the real world. If I wanted believable, I’d just stop reading and return to my life.”

“Yeah, but she called his dick a meat shaft.”

“Oh my God.” I scowled. “You’re one of those annoying people who quibble over every little detail in a book, aren’t you?”

He lifted his eyebrows. “I can’t believe you’re not. Did you read what he said to her when she opened her legs—”

“No,” I warned him when he reached for my Kindle to find the cheesy line he wanted to quote. “Don’t you dare ruin this story for me with logical bullshit. I like the emotions it brings out. That’s why I’m reading it.”

He blinked at me a moment before shaking his head and murmuring, “I find this so interesting to learn about you. I mean, really, how can you be so...you, and then read something that’s just so...not you?”

“I told you.” Gritting my teeth, I sent him a glare, trying to get him to leave it alone. “It’s an escape.”

His gaze softened before he quietly asked, “Are you not happy with your life?”

“I...” I fumbled a moment before giving a nervous laugh. “I don’t know what you mean. Of course I’m happy with my life.”

“Then what’re you trying to escape?”

“I don’t...” I shrugged, suddenly exposed and not sure how to answer. “I don’t know. I just get exhausted with always having to perform a certain way and dress a certain way and—”

Colton squinted his eyes. “What do mean a certain way? Don’t you just wear whatever you feel like wearing?”

“Umm...no.” I looked at him as if he were crazy. “No way could I leave my apartment without looking one hundred percent presentable.” When he just stared at me with utter confusion, I sighed. “Never mind. You wouldn’t understand.”

He covered my hands with his. “Then make me understand.”

When I realized he wasn’t going to drop the issue, I growled, “You’re a white male.”

“Okay,” he said slowly. “I knew that one. I just don’t get what the fuck it has to do with anything.”

Oh geez, I guessed I was going to have to be really blunt here. “Well, I’m not a white male. So I have to work twice as hard to get half of what you have. Society looks at me and sees a black woman. I don’t have the luxury of giving them another reason to look down on me and think even less of me. So I do not leave my home with a single hair out of place, without my clothes immaculately put together, without my makeup—”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Colton shook his hands to stop me. “So you...this whole perfection regimen you put yourself through every day is just…it’s all for the haters?”

I frowned at that. When he said it that way, it sounded bad. “No,” I started. But I didn’t know how else to explain it. I blinked and shook my head, confused.

“Oh, baby doll,” he murmured sympathetically. “It’s not going to matter what you do or wear or say. We all get judged. Before I moved to Ellamore, I lived with my drunk, druggie whore of a mother. We Gamble kids ran wild with no parental guidance or discipline, no hygiene, or fucking new clothes, or good example to teach us right from wrong. I remember my kindergarten teacher calling me trailer park trash. And if we’d stayed in that town, that’s probably exactly what I would’ve ended up becoming. Because they made me believe that’s all I could ever be.”

“Oh, Colton.” I covered my mouth with my hands. That was awful. I just wanted to go into the past and slap his kindergarten teacher, and then maybe his mother too, right in the tits. Then I wanted to find kindergarten him and give him a huge hug and tell him he was special and wonderful and should never stray from being himself.

“But it wouldn’t have mattered if I’d been raised differently,” he went on. “If I’d been a wealthy boy with parents who spoiled me rotten and provided the world for me, someone would’ve called me an arrogant rich prick who thought he was better than everyone else. So you see, some idiot out there who knows shit about you is always going to judge you no matter how flawlessly you present yourself because that’s what they do. They judge. You shouldn’t live your life according to them. It won’t change them or their point of view. It’s just going to make you miserable and never feeling like you measure up, when really, the whole problem is them, not you.” Pulling me into his arms, he kissed my hair. “If you really want to stick it to them, dress and say and act the way you want and be content with yourself no matter what they think.”

I blinked rapidly, feeling utterly schooled and kind of small for having lived so much of my life according to complete strangers who knew nothing about me but hated me anyway.

“Holy shit,” I whispered, pulling back so I could look up into his face. “Where the hell have you been all my life?” And why had no one helped me really see this before?

He grinned and leaned in to kiss me. “I’ve been looking for you, baby doll.”

This feeling of contentment expanded inside my chest until it felt so big and full I thought it might burst right out of me. I stared up at Colton, not sure if he had any idea what he was doing to me right now. I kind of hoped not because I wasn’t too sure if I wanted him knowing quite that much.

When his smile turned from affectionate to amused, he leaned up to flick his finger at the top knot of my head scarf. “Okay, I gotta know. What is this thing?”

I scowled and patted my head to make sure he hadn’t dislodged anything. “It’s my hair wrap. Duh.”

“Hair wrap,” he repeated curiously. “Do you wear it every night?”

“Of course.” I stared at him as if he were insane. But how the hell did he not know about hair wraps? “What’s wrong with it?”

When I arched my eyebrow challengingly, he lifted both hands in surrender. “Not a damn thing. I think it’s fucking adorable. But doesn’t it bother you? I think it’d bother the shit out of me to sleep with something on my head.”

“I’ve slept with something on my head for as long as I can remember, so…no. Doesn’t bother me.”

“Cool,” he murmured in awe, still gazing at my wrap and reaching up to tweak the top knot again.

I slapped his hand away but then ruined the stern reprimand with a giggle. “Will you stop?”

“I can’t help it. It’s so cute.”

“Oh my God, you’re impossible. It’s not meant to be cute. It’s to keep my hair on my head.”

He snickered. “Where exactly do you think it’s going to run off to?”

“Lord have mercy.” I rolled my eyes, realizing he needed some educating. “I have extremely dry hair. In fact, I can only wash it once a week or it’ll break off until there were only about four frazzled strands left. Plus, I iron it, which dries it out even more. So I have to condition and wrap it—in silk, mind you because cotton draws out the moisture which would dry it even more—every night to keep it as healthy as possible.”

“Really? Huh, I had no idea. I have to wash my hair every morning or it’s a fucking grease pit.” His gaze wandered over my scarf again. “You know, I could just rub my head against yours and give you some of my—”

When he tipped his head to the side and tried to buff his hair against my shoulder, I screeched out a laugh and shoved him away. “Eww. No!” Even though I knew his hair was nowhere near the eww stage yet, it was fun to pretend disgust.

He laughed and tried to share his hair oils with me again. “Hold still. I think I almost got enough for you.”

“Oh, that’s sick. You are so sick.” I planted my hand on his face to keep him from getting closer just as his phone dinged with an incoming message.

We both froze, our grins dropping.

“That might be Noel,” he said, straightening as he reached for his phone.

If his brother needed him, I knew he’d have to go. I swallowed, greedily hoping his brother didn’t need him.

A second after he read the message, his shoulders relaxed. “It was just my sister, Caroline,” he reported. “She went over tonight and helped with the kids.” He turned the screen to me so I could read what his sister had typed.

I began to smile, glad his sister-in-law had experienced a good night. A second later, Caroline messaged him with another text that popped up while he was still letting me read the first.

I blinked. “A chainsaw?”

“What?” He turned the screen to himself, only to grin. “Oh, sweet. I was having no luck.” As he typed out a reply, I stared at him.

“Do I even want to know why you and your sister talk about chainsaws?”

“Hmm?” He glanced up, only to say, “Oh,” and shrug. “We’re Viners.”

To me, that explained nothing. So I stared at him longer. “You’re…what-ers?”

“I’m a Viner.” He set the phone down and gave me an odd look. “Don’t you have the Vine app?”

“No. Sorry. What’s the Vine app?”

His mouth fell open. “You don’t…wait, you don’t even know what Vine is? How is that possible?”

“Hey,” I muttered, “you didn’t know what a hair wrap was.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ll explain. Vine is just another social media sharing service, this one for short three-to-seven second videos. People use it to post pranks, music, journalism crap, comedy, political stuff and shit like that. My profile is strictly comedy skits. Actually, it’s not just my page. My sister, Caroline, and I share it. She learned a bunch of neat editing tricks in college and taught me some, so a year ago when I got started in it, I asked her for a little help, and…” He rolled his eyes. “You know sisters. She butted her way in until we were splitting the page, fifty-fifty.”

“Wow, you sound…really serious about it.”

“Yeah, well…when we hit two million followers, we picked up a couple sponsors and started making some cash from it.”

“Wait, what?” I lifted my hand to stop him so I could catch up. “Did you say two million followers? How the hell do you have that many followers in something I’ve never even heard of?”

“I don’t know. I’m just that awesome, I guess.” When I only gaped at him, he winked. “Do you want to see some of our Vines?”

“Hell yes.”

As he flipped through his phone and opened an app, I shook my head. “Wait. You’re logging on to YouTube. I thought you said it was on its own Vine site, or whatever.”

“Yeah, but we put compilations of our best Vines on YouTube so you can see more than one together. Here. Just watch.”

He typed in a few search words, then scrolled through a screen until he came to something called No-Colton-No. “That’s our screen name for our profile. Caroline used to read me this book called No, David! when I was little, and it was my favorite because my middle name’s David. Plus, I misunderstand things in a literal way a lot in our Vines, so it just seemed to fit all the way around.”

I nodded, loving the explanation of how he’d come up with their screen name, as he pushed play. What popped up was the strangest mix of mini videos I’d ever seen. Some were just odd, but then others made me crack up until we hit one where his sister told him to grow a pair, and a literal pear started to sprout from his forehead from a branch, and I lost it. I started laughing until tears fell.

Each skit was pure silliness, clean enough for kids to watch, and totally not something I would’ve expected the suave flirt I’d met almost a year ago to take part in. He basically made fun of himself in each Vine. I loved it; I loved learning about this new dimension of my man.

“And you make money from this?” I asked, glancing at him before I settled close enough to rest my chin on his shoulder and continue to watch him do the most bizarre things on the tiny screen of his phone.

“Yep,” he answered, sounding proud of himself.

“How much money?” I hedged.

“Enough to put me through college and let Caroline stay home with her daughter.”

Shit. That was impressive. I grew proud of him. But I murmured, “Weird,” and shook my head as I enjoyed watching his Vine compilation.

JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 23

I woke the next morning to Colton kissing his way up my shoulder.

Mumbling incoherently over the fact I was now awake and didn’t yet want to be, I rolled toward him and reached blindly until I found his chest, which was covered by the cotton material of his shirt.

Yes, that made waking up better. Except, wait.

My eyes came open. He hadn’t worn a shirt to bed.

Finding him fully dressed, I immediately pouted. “You have clothes on.”

“I know, I know.” He expelled a dramatic sigh. “You want some really fun morning nookie, I get that. I mean, hello.” He waved a hand over his chest. “Why wouldn’t you? But I’m sorry, baby doll. I’m already running late. I need to get home and shower and change. My first class starts in half an hour.”

He pressed his lips to the base of my neck, kissing me noisily before he pulled away to hop off my bed. “When’s your next night off?” he asked as he tugged on his shoes.

I groaned because I had a pretty full schedule this week. “Thursday.” That was ladies’ night at Forbidden, and only guys worked on ladies’ night.

“So the countdown begins anew.” Pausing to check his phone and type something quickly, he grinned and winked at me before slipping it into his pocket.

My cell chimed a second later as he started for the door.

Frowning, I checked it to see that he’d texted me, saying:

My insides warmed, and my face split with a grin. But just to be contrary, I lifted up and called, “Fifty-eight.”

He laughed and volleyed back, “Fifty-seven and a half.”

And then he was gone, his footsteps echoing down the hall before I heard the front door open and close.

I lay there, depressed a moment, before I checked the time. Eyes shooting wide, I leaped up off my bed, screeching, “Holy shit.” I’d forgot to set my alarm. Like him, I also had half an hour to get up and around before class.

I yanked open my closet and automatically began to reach for something typical and appropriate, but then paused when Colton’s words from the night before echoed through me. Shoving the beige sweater back inside, I reached for the boisterous turquoise top with a huge dream catcher printed across it so that it appeared to be draped over my shoulder. And when I did my hair, I poufed it a little spikier in the back so it looked a bit more like a spirited mess. Then I put a little more color into my makeup, and when I was done, I stepped back and looked at the overall picture.

I liked it, I thought I looked cute, and that was all that mattered.

Unable to stop grinning, I began to leave the apartment until a phone call stopped me.

“Oh my God,” Sasha screeched into my ear. “I left my book bag at home and I have a paper in there to turn in to my English professor in an hour and twenty minutes. Please tell me you haven’t left the apartment yet.”

“You are so lucky,” I told her. “I was just about to walk out the door. Is it in your room?”

“Yes, right on my bed. Thank you, Juli. I owe you so big.”

“No problem,” I answered, backtracking to her room. I was actually honored to get her things for her. She’d called me for help, not Tyla. I was pathetically pleased by that until it struck me, she might’ve called Tyla first only to discover Ty wasn’t home.

My eagerness to please her deflated a little at realizing I was probably second choice, but I was still happy to help.

“Where do you want to meet?” I asked as I scooped her bag off her unmade bed and hurried from the apartment with both our things.

“How about by the Viking statue in the quad right before my eleven o’clock class.”

“Okay.” That meant I had to carry around both her and my things through first hour. “I’ll see you then.”

My nine thirty class lasted only an hour when it was supposed to run closer to an hour and a half, so I made it to the quad almost half an hour early. I sat on the bench next to the statue of Victor, ESU’s school mascot, and I tried to read a little from my Kindle, but Colton had ruined the story for me. When I got to the part where the hero said he could see heaven when he looked at her pussy, I snorted and put the book away. I was tempted to text him and call him a reading ruiner, but Sasha showed up, gushing her gratitude as she swiped up her bag and unzipped it to make sure she had her paper inside.

Then she hugged me, and we talked a few minutes until she decided she needed to go.

We’d just parted ways, Sasha heading one direction and me starting the other.

When I caught sight of Colton up ahead, I slowed to a stop.

He stood just off the sidewalk in the grass with one foot propped up against the seat of a nearby bench, while some tiny blonde bimbo preened in front of him, twining a piece of hair around her finger as she freaking flirted with him.

Flirted with my man.

Shading the sunlight with his hand, he nodded at something she said and then laughed.

The bastard laughed.

He hadn’t laughed or smiled on the first day of class when that other floozy had flirted with him. But here he was now, laughing with the blonde, while he had something going on with me on the side.

That just wasn’t acceptable. Bitch better keep her hands off.

Before I could rationally think past anything but claiming him so she would disappear, I stormed into action, marching forward, straight up to him so that I had to brush past her to get right into his face. And then I kept going, grabbing the front of his shirt and fisting it into my hand as I stepped up onto my toes and jerked his face down to my level.

“Wha...?” His gaze registered shock that whole split second before my mouth collided with his. And then he kind of tightened against me before he seemed to realize who was kissing him.

At first, I was hard and demanding, my mouth punishing him for even looking at another woman. But then he relaxed against me. His fingers grazed the side of my neck. And his lips softened against mine before parting and sweeping his tongue into me.

When a strangled, hungry groan rose from his throat, I felt settled and infinitely calmer.

I broke away, gently and slowly, backing off just enough to look into his heavy-lidded, aroused gaze. Then I let go of my grip on his shirt and smoothed my fingers down his chest.

“You’re still planning on coming over Thursday, right?”

He blinked once before breaking into a sly grin. “Nowhere else I’d rather come.”

“Good.” Unable to help myself, I glanced at the bimbo, the meaning in my gaze absolutely clear.

This territory was mine, honey. The flag had just been planted.

Receiving the message, she was already backing away, her shiny golden hair no longer in her hand. “Well, I...I’ll talk to you about the assignment later. Bye, Colton.”

He waved. “See you, Jess.”

I watched her hurry away, clutching a pile of books to her chest before I turned back to him and lifted an eyebrow. “Jess, huh?”

“Hmm?” He’d been checking out my cleavage before lifting his face. “Yeah. Jessica. She’s in my history class. I like your top. Very colorful, and tight in the most perfect places ever.”

I ignored the compliment. “You have history with her, huh?”

He stared at me a moment before a smile spread across his face. “You’re jealous.”

I sniffed because I had to hide the fact I was suddenly embarrassed to realize that yes, I was jealous. Extremely, blindly, irrationally jealous.

“Of Jessica the tiny blonde bimbo?” I said, though. “Honey, I don’t think so.”

With a chuckle, he slid his hands around my waist until he was sinking them into the back pockets of my jeans and tugging me forward against him. “She’s not a bimbo,” he murmured, his grin way too freaking smug for my liking. “She’s actually really smart. We’re on the dean’s list together.”

“Oh? So you’re in history and on the dean’s list with her?” Mad he was changing his story about just how well he knew Jessica, I tried to shove at his chest to make space between us, but the bastard only snickered and tugged me closer until my hips crashed flush against his, and shit, I felt the stirrings of a hard-on coming from him.

God! He was getting aroused about pissing me off. Not cool.

“Yep, we’re on the dean’s list together, plus we share a history class and English 101.” Lifting his brow, he widened his eyes and whispered, “Scandalous, isn’t it?”

“You are such a jerk.” I shoved at him again to no avail. “Why don’t you and your perfect, blonde genius just—”

“Do nothing together,” he finished for me, leaning in until our noses touched. “We do nothing together but talk about school. Like just now, we were talking about the history term paper the professor went over today. But, wow, I kind of like this hot, angry jealousy thing you have going on. Are you going to spank me for talking to another girl?” When he wiggled his eyebrows and added, “Please,” I slapped his chest.

“Shut up.”

He caught my hand and kissed the knuckles. “I actually meant a smack on the ass, not the chest, but...if this makes you hot, baby...”

I growled, upset because I wanted to swing at him again, except now I couldn’t after that comment.

“On a scale of the Sahara Desert to Niagara Falls,” he asked, his voice changing timbre. “How wet are you right now?”

“God, you never give up, do you?” A reluctant grin broke across my face, glad he was flirting with me despite my awful jealous outburst. But a second later, my smile fell and I looked deep into his brown eyes. “Be honest, though. You never fucked her?”

He choked on the question, sputtering out a surprised laugh. “What? No! Hell no.”

“But you want to?” I pressed, knowing my worry was showing in my eyes.

Gaze sparking with challenge, he tapped his chin thoughtfully before answering, “You know, now that you mention it, I guess I was debating whether to bend her over this bench here and take her from behind or back her into that tree and shag her rotten against the bark. Jesus, Juli. Get your head out of the gutter. We share a couple classes together. That’s all.”

“Whatever,” I muttered, scowling. “I know how the male mind works.”

His eyebrows rose, and I could tell I’d offended him. But a second later, he let go of me and took a step back.

“This may sound hard to believe, but I don’t fuck every woman I talk to. I mean, what exactly do you think happens? I get within five feet of a chick, smell pussy, and my cock just takes over my brain until I’m forced to chase her down the sidewalk, tackle her into the grass and mount her right there, pounding into her until the testosterone settles down and I can think like a rational human being again?” He winced before adding, “Yeah… I have a tad bit more self-control than that.”

I folded my arms before glancing away. “Well, some guys don’t.”

His mouth fell open before realization sparked his gaze. “Ah hell, baby doll,” he said softly, pressing his nose against my temple. “I’m not your ex-husband.”

My stomach pitched sickeningly, and I shifted my attention away.

He shook his head and pulled me closer so that he was hugging me and kissing my brow. “It’s crazy to know some dumb bastard actually cheated on you. I mean, what the hell kind of idiot would cheat on you? You have a fucking golden pussy. I swear to God, you’re the best I’ve ever had.”

When I sent him a stern glance for being crude, his shoulders sagged and he must’ve realized he hadn’t cheered me up with that line.

With a sigh, he grasped my elbow and gently tugged me toward the bench. “Come here. Apparently we need to have that talk.”

My brain seized as I glanced up at his face. “What talk?” Oh God, my jealousy had pissed him off and he was going to end this, wasn’t he? Shit. I wasn’t ready to end it.

A big ball of dread lodged itself in my throat as he encouraged me to sit and then he sat next to me, his knees angled toward mine until our legs brushed against each other.

“I thought this understanding between us was implied, but I’m thinking we need to state the should-be-obvious ground rules aloud so we’re both on the same page.”

Oh God, he didn’t want to be exclusive, did he? And oh hell, had he already been non-exclusive with some other girl since we’d started sleeping together? How many had there been? Did I need to get myself tested?

Taking my hands, Colton looked me in the eyes and dropped the bomb. “I don’t care if it’s casual or serious, when I’m ...involved with someone, that’s it. There’s no one else.”

My lips parted, and I had to blink before crinkling my eyebrows and croaking, “What?”

He grinned. “I just said I only sleep with one woman at a time. Why are you staring at me like I’ve grown a second head?”

“I...I...I don’t know.” I shook my head, still stunned. “I just...you...we never discussed it, so I thought—”

“That I fuck every woman who crosses my path?” he guessed. “Yeah, sorry, I don’t work that way. I just don’t see the point. To me, it’s more fun to focus all my attention on one at a time, instead of trying to juggle and keep track of who likes what and where and how hard, and—”

I cut him off by leaping at him and kissing him hard.

He laughed against my lips before kissing me back. Our mouths opened and tongues touched. In that moment, I wanted to kiss him for the rest of my life. “I guess this means you’re cool with being exclusive,” he muffled against my lips.

“Yes. Hell yes.”

He pulled back and declared, “You know, we should end all our discussions this way.”

With a nod, I agreed. “I could handle that.”

One second, he was grinning at me in the middle of the university’s courtyard. The next, his eyes flared as he glanced over my shoulder, and he was hissing, “Shit,” as he jerked to his feet away from me.

“Wha…” I started, standing as well so I could whirl around and face what he’d just seen, only to gasp when I realized Brandt was right there. Like right there.

He hadn’t seen us yet; he was too busy reading something on his phone as he approached. There was no hiding, though. As soon as he looked up he’d see us because he was seriously right freaking there.

“Yo, the nursing building’s that way,” Colton said, making Brandt pop his face up and break out into a grin.

“Hey, punk.” He slapped his brother companionably in the arm. “I wondered if I’d ever bump into you on campus. I was headed to get some coffee. Come with me.”

Colton glanced at me before he could answer, which caused Brandt to finally notice me as well.

“Juli!” he greeted in surprise. “What a coincidence.” Then he glanced between the two of us and winced toward me as if in apology. “He’s not annoying you again, is he?”

I opened my mouth, wondering how I should answer. He’d think it was weird if I suddenly got along with his little brother who typically irritated me on every level ever invented. Except I couldn’t even pretend to act as if every breath Colton took still pissed me off.

So I sent big brother a tight smile and murmured, “Surprisingly, no. He hasn’t annoyed me at all today.”

Colton flashed me a million-watt grin while Brandt gave a low, impressed whistle. “Really?” Messing with Colton’s hair to purposefully jumble it out of place, he said, “That’s surprising.” But then his eyes flashed eagerly as he returned his attention to me. “Guess what? I did it.”

I stared stupidly a moment before it struck me what he was talking about. Then I blurted, “Oh my God, really?” I pressed my hand to my heart. “That’s uh…” I wasn’t sure what it was, so following his expectant smile, I lamely finished with, “Congratulations.”

“Thanks, I—”

“You did what?” Colton asked, darting a confused scowl between us.

When Brandt frowned at him as if reprimanding him for butting into our conversation, I cleared my throat. “So how did Sarah take it?”

“You totally called it,” he gushed, turning back to me. “She was ecstatic and wouldn’t stop smiling all night.”

“Hey?” Colton burst out, obviously tired of being left out of the conversation as he waved his hand between us. “What the fuck did you do?”

I froze at his pissy demand while Brandt stared at him as if he’d lost his mind.

“He quit his job,” I finally explained, feeling the need to soothe him.

It took Colton a second for the words to sink in. He was too busy switching his gaze between me and his brother, his expression revealing every suspicious thought zinging through him. Then he kind of paused before veering his attention to Brandt. “Wait. What? You quit your job at Forbidden? Why?”

“I’ll tell you all about it over coffee.” Brandt hitched his chin toward the nearest coffee shop located inside the student union.

But Colton took a step back. “No. I gotta get to class. I’ll see you later.”

When he abruptly swung away and strode off, my stomach hitched. I knew he was experiencing some of the same bitter jealousy I’d just suffered through minutes earlier. But I couldn’t give him the same reassurances he’d just given me, not with Brandt standing right there.

What was worse, Brandt noticed something off. He harshly yelled, “Hey,” at Colton’s back, trying to call him back, but Colton kept going. “Huh.” He scratched his head. “I wonder what’s gotten into him.” Then he seemed to notice I was still there. “Do you want some coffee?” he asked as if it would be rude not to invite me.

“Oh!” Not expecting the offer, I blurted, “No—I mean, no, thanks. I have class too, sorry. I should…I should get going too.”

“No problem.” He waved as I began to back away from him. “I’ll see you at work some night, then.”

“Or not,” I reminded, sending him a sad smile.

“Holy shit,” he burst out. “That’s right. We don’t work together anymore, do we? Whoa.” The realization seemed to hit him hard before he shook his head. “No, wait. I promised Pick I’d stay on until he found a replacement, so we may have one or two more shifts together before…”

Before we never had a reason to see each other again.

He didn’t say that, though I knew it was what he meant. I was going to hate losing him as a coworker, but losing him as a friend…that might not be so bad. Being his friend Sunday night might have given him helpful advice, but it had ended up hurting Colton. I didn’t like that.

Not sure what else to say to Brandt because this conversation had just gotten awkward real fast, I smiled and nodded. “Cool.”

“I’ll see you at work then.” When I turned away, I tugged my phone from my bag, needing to explain everything to Colton.

Then I waited…and I waited. Ten of the longest, most excruciating seconds followed before he responded with:

It’s fine? It’s fine? It was never fine when someone said it was fine!

Or was that just for women? Maybe guys really thought it was fine when they said that, but it didn’t feel as if anything was fine.

Scowling, I started to type again, determined to make him understand he didn’t need to be jealous. But when I realized what I was doing, I grew a little upset.

I didn’t need to explain myself. I hadn’t done anything wrong. And Colton had said it was fine, so…why was I still worried?

I put my phone away and started toward my next class.

The next morning, Colton didn’t text me with a countdown of how many hours it was until our next encounter. And then he didn’t show up at all to philosophy. My worry grew, yet I was too scared to message him and ask if everything was okay. When I got nothing from him on Thursday morning either, I decided it was over. He was done with me and moving on.

To add to my misery, cramps began to assail me along with that icky bloated feeling of an approaching nasty period before that started a few hours later.

JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 24

I was curled up on my couch on Thursday evening, home alone because my roommates were once again away with their boyfriends, and unable to do much past hold a warm cup of hot tea between my hands and stare at the clock ticking at a sloth’s pace over the quiet television when a knock came at my door.

My pulse raced. Was it Colton? I hadn’t been sure if he’d show up. We’d made plans for tonight and he’d never canceled, but we hadn’t talked since Tuesday either. And after he’d strode off in his jealous huff, I had no idea where that left us, if his fine was really fine or not.

If only I weren’t so freaking stubborn and hard-headed, I could’ve pushed until everything felt fine to me, and then I’d know exactly what was going on in his head right now. I wouldn’t be so self-conscious and confused and scared that I’d just ruined everything between us.

God, these stupid period hormones were making me batty.

Hey, yeah, this could all be my hormones’ fault.

A little mollified that I had a scapegoat to blame instead of my own stupid self, I set my tea on the coffee table and wrapped the blanket draped over my shoulders more snuggly around me. Then I shuffled my Angry Birds slippers to the door. I didn’t check the peephole because I didn’t want to be disappointed.

So I opened the door blind, only for instant relief to pour through me when I revealed a grinning Colton on the other side, resting his hands on either side of the doorframe as if he were happy and eager to see me in return.

Except the smile died instantly when he took in my blanket, slippers, pajama pants, and even the head scarf I’d already wound around my hair for the night. “What’s wrong? Are you sick?”

He started to step forward, concern etched in his features. But I held up a hand, stopping him in his tracks. “I didn’t think you were coming by tonight.”

Freezing, he arched a confused eyebrow before slowly saying, “But you said Thursday…right?”

I nodded, only to add, “And then you didn’t text yesterday or the day before that, and you weren’t in philosophy class yesterday.”

His mouth fell open as that oh-so-male shit, I fucked up expression crossed his face.

“My nephew, Beau, was sick yesterday,” he started. “Noel had important stuff going on at the high school where he works, so I skipped class to stay home with the kiddo. And he was really whiny and clingy and shit. I was busy running ragged trying to keep him happy so it didn’t upset Aspen all day yesterday and most of today. I just…it’s been a fucking blur. I totally forgot about our countdown texts. I’m sorry.”

Feeling instantly shitty because that was not the reason I thought he’d been avoiding me at all, I waved a hand, immediately forgiving him. “It’s fine. Don’t apologize. It’s not like the text messages were mandatory or anything.”

“But I like them too,” he argued, trying to step forward once more.

Huffing out a breath, I held up my hand, barring his way. “Look, it’s not going to happen tonight.”

When his mouth fell open and worry filled his eyes, I blurted, “It’s that time of the month, okay? This...” I circled my hand over my lap area. “Is closed for business until further notice.”

Then I slammed the door in his face and promptly burst into tears.

I’d really wanted to see him tonight too. I’d wanted to cuddle with him and rest my head on his shoulder while the pain pills did their thing and he rocked me to sleep. I wanted my man.

But we were only supposed to be about sex.

I hated myself even more because the last time we’d talked he’d had to watch me have a moment with Brandt, and now I was turning him down. What if he decided there was too much drama and messiness here and dropped me because of that?

I slumped back to the couch where I cried for a good ten minutes longer.

My hot tea wasn’t even doing it for me when a knock came at the door while I was still sniffling and miserable. Not wanting to talk to anyone, I didn’t move, ignoring the knock. But it kept coming until a muffled voice yelled, “Baby doll! It’s Colton,” to which I bolted upright and gaped at the entrance before I tripped in my haste to return to the door and yank it open.

“Wha…?” I started as he stepped inside, sweeping past me before I could bar him from entering.

He turned back to me, grinning, as he held up a grocery sack. “I come bearing gifts this time.”

“Why did you come back?” I uttered. This made no sense. “If you think anything in that sack is going to make me change my mind—”

“Oh, no. No! Hell no.” He lifted his hand and shook it before backing away from me. “Trust me, I want no part of that. Jesus.” He shuddered for emphasis before pulling a handful of chocolate bars from his grocery sack. “I brought pick-me-ups.” When I only frowned at him, more confused than ever, he caught my gaze and asked, “What?”

I shook my head so he sighed and dropped the chocolate back into the bag. “Okay, fine. I know it’s only supposed to be sex between us, and there’s not going to be any nookie tonight.” He rolled his eyes before adding, “But look at it this way. I’m tending to my investment.”

That only confused me more. I squinted. “Huh?”

“Just because there are no flowers blooming in the garden this week, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t still water the soil, you know, so I’ll have a better chance of seeing a nice pretty posey next week.”

“So…you think I’ll forget about you and drop you flat if I don’t see you for a few days?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Maybe. Let’s not test it. So…what’s your poison? The Notebook, Hitch, Dirty Dancing, or Waiting to Exhale?” He pulled each movie from the bag, one after another before he was holding them up in a fan of chick flicks.

I wrinkled my nose. “Eww. None of those. Are you crazy? I’m already a hormonal, emotional wreck and you want to add to that with some romance movie that’s going to make me worse?”

“Umm....” He shoved the movies back into the sack before slowly guessing, “No?”

I shook my head. “No,” I agreed.

His shoulders deflated and the expression on his face reminded me of an abused puppy who’d been kicked too much and had just been tossed out into a miserable, cold rain. Something uncomfortable slithered through me. I couldn’t treat Colton this way.

Letting out a breath, I tipped my head toward the hallway that led to my room. “I have Coming to America on Amazon Prime if you want to watch that on my laptop in my room with me.”

“Coming to America? With Eddie Murphy?” His eyebrows lifted with interest. When I nodded, his lips twitched into a smile. “God, yes, I would love to watch a comedy with you.”

Lunging toward me with a grin, he swept me off my feet, one arm under my knees, the other around my back. I shrieked in surprise and clutched his shoulders. “Colton!”

He froze in the entrance of the hallway, his eyes widening. “Oh, shit. Sorry. Did that jostle your ovaries too much or something? Are you okay?” He promptly set me back down on my feet, as gently as possible.

I stared at him a moment before bursting out laughing. “Jostle my ovaries?” I wheezed between giggles. “Oh my fucking God, what?”

Sniffing, he picked me back up and started toward my room once again. “Well, I don’t know. Maybe shaking a woman too much during that time of the month hurts stuff, you know, down there.”

I cracked off another laugh, tears streaming down my cheeks, and had to hide my face in his shirt to muffle how loud I was giggling. But shaking a woman? “Oh God, you’re too funny. Where the hell did you come up with that idea? And exactly what do you think happens to us during our periods?”

“I think the lining of your uterus peels off because the egg you dropped earlier in the month wasn’t fertilized, and since there’s no baby to nurture, it all flushes out of you in a painful, bloody mess, fucking with all your hormones and emotions along the way. Why would I not think shaking that shit up might make it worse?”

I pressed my lips together to keep from blurting out another laugh because his thought process actually kind of made sense. “Well, shaking us doesn’t hurt us at any time of the month.”

“Good to know.” He nodded seriously as he entered my room.

I couldn’t help but study his face as he set me gently on my bed. Shaking my head, I mused, “I can’t believe you’re so blasé about this. Every guy I’ve ever known has freaked out when the menstrual subject is even mentioned.”

“It’s just biology.” He shrugged while busying himself with pulling back the covers on my mattress before draping them over me and tucking me in nice and snug. “Every woman deals with it. Both my sisters, every girlfriend I ever had, even female teachers. Not sure what all those other idiot guys find so freaky about it?”

“Oh, maybe the fact that a woman can get downright homicidal during this time of the month.”

“Only if the dude handles the situation all wrong.” After fluffing my pillows and stacking them so I could sit upright against them, he helped me lean back before he turned away and spotted my laptop.

I watched him fetch it and carry it back to the bed, then open it and set it on my lap. He seemed to pause and run through a mental checklist through his head, then he asked, “Which candy do you want me to bring back? I brought chocolate of just about every variety, Skittles, Starbursts, Atomic Fireballs, Sour Patch Kids…”

Something warm and soft bloomed in my belly. Still unable to stop staring at his face, I asked, “Who are you?”

“Huh?” He’d been examining my blankets as if to make sure I was covered well enough. But his gaze snapped to my face. “What do you mean?”

“Why’re you being so nice to me?” I didn’t deserve it.

“I don’t know.” And he honestly looked stumped about his answer. Then he added, “It’s that time of the month. You’re miserable.”

I gulped and couldn’t help but say, “I’m not miserable right now.”

He made me feel very not miserable.

Grinning his dazzling amazing smile, he murmured. “Good.” Then he leaned in and pressed his lips to the center of my forehead. “I’ll be right back.”

As he left the room, I pressed my hand to my chest and tried to figure out what was going on here. I’d already admitted to myself that I loved him, and yet what I was experiencing was so much more powerful than what I’d felt before.

This was plum crazy. How many freaking times could you fall for a single guy?

“I forgot, I also got Twizzlers and some iced coffees.” He pulled the bottle from his bag—it dripped with condensation because it must still be cold—and arched his brows as if asking me what my preference was.

Still too overwhelmed by everything, I looked up at him and said, “I just want you.”

He bloomed with pleasure, eyes sparkling and smile stretching, before he said, “Done,” and climbed onto the mattress beside me, scooting close enough that our shoulders mashed together and he could see the laptop screen as well.

Fishing through the bag as I logged into the movie, he came up with a Twix and broke it open. After popping one stick into his mouth, he silently offered me the other. I took it with a grin just as the movie started.

He kept sorting through the candy and sharing each piece with me all through the opening credits. I accepted whatever he handed over but didn’t eat any of it. I was too busy watching this new species my Colton had turned into.

“The royal penis is clean, Your Highness,” an actress on screen announced as she splashed her head up from under the water in front of Eddie Murphy’s character where he sat in an enormous bathtub.

Colton burst out laughing as he popped a handful of Sour Patch Kids into his mouth. When he glanced at me to share the amusement, he finally noticed I wasn’t paying any attention to the movie.

“Seriously, why do you keep looking at me like that?”

I shook my head, not really sure myself. “I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on with you? You’re acting...sweet.”

Huffing as if offended, he said, “I am sweet.”

“I guess,” I murmured, though he was taking sweet to a whole new level.

Not that I was going to complain. I wrapped my arms around his bicep, rested my chin on his shoulder and commenced to watch the movie with him. By the time the closing credits rolled, I’d fallen asleep.

I woke to Colton shutting my computer and easing it off my lap.

“Mmm,” I stirred, burrowing closer to his warmth and amazing Colton smell.

He chuckled and kissed my hair. “I think I’m going to take off and let you get some sleep.”

I clutched him tighter and mumbled my resistance.

“You want me to stay?” he asked, tracing his fingertips along my cheek. I nodded, and he said, “Okay.”

He climbed off the bed to strip down to his boxer shorts, then he climbed back in with me and curled under the blankets around me.

Humming my appreciation, I turned to him fully and ran my hands up his smooth, warm chest. He’d been absolutely perfect tonight: patient, caring, sweet, charming. And nothing he’d done had been because he thought it would help him score. He’d done it just because, which made me want to repay him just because.

Pressing my mouth to the side of his neck, I ran my hand down his sculpted pecs and over his six-pack. Then my fingers burrowed inside the band of his shorts until I had a handful of hot, quickly growing flesh.

“Holy shit,” he gasped, tensing under me.

I kissed his bare shoulder. “I want to do something for you.” Then I started to lower my face toward his lap.

“No, it’s okay.” He caught my shoulder to stop me, then drew my hand out from his underwear and brought it to his lips to kiss my knuckles. “You don’t have to do that.”

“What? Don’t you like blow jobs?” I teased, grinning mischievously.

Every guy liked blow jobs.

“Yeah, uh…actually…” He gave an uneasy laugh. “I don’t know. I’ve never had one.”

My mouth dropped open. “What? Really?”

“Hey, I’ve only been sexually active for two years. I haven’t quite tried every position yet.”

My return grin was immediate. “Well, trust me, honey. You’re going to like this.” I went for his dick again but he caught my shoulder.

“No,” he urged softly, stopping me again. “I don’t…I really don’t think I will.”

I stared at his face and took in the worry in his features before sitting upright and crossing my legs.

He shook his head and looked away. “Don’t. Stop looking at me with fucking concern.”

Shit, this was bad.

“Colton,” I said very slowly. “Why don’t you even want to try a blow job? Every guy wants to experience a blow job.”

He just kept shaking his head, not looking at me. So I touched his cheek, and he melted, closing his eyes and sighing his defeat.

“Fine. Here’s the deal. I saw something once, and it put me off wanting to try them ever. It’s not a big deal. I just…I don’t want one. Okay?”

Yeah right. Now I knew it was a huge deal. And he still wouldn’t look at me. I started to freak out a little.

“What did you see that put you off blow jobs?”

He speared me with a quick irritated glance before looking away again and admitting, “A boy. He was just a kid.”

I nodded. That was a start; it didn’t tell me much and didn’t seem so bad, but I knew it had to be worse, so I asked, “How old was he?”

“Thirteen,” he whispered. “I was eight. But he was thirteen.”

“Okay,” I said slowly. “So…what? You saw this thirteen-year-old boy get a blow job when you were eight?”

“No.” He shook his head and closed his eyes. “I mean, yes, but he didn’t want it. She was forcing him. He was crying and she—his mom—had him backed against this wall and—”

“Holy shit!” I screeched. “His mom? You saw a boy get molested by his mother when you were eight? What did you do?”

He pressed his hands to his temples. “Nothing. I…I didn’t do anything. I ran to my room and hid under the blankets in my bed. I didn’t tell anyone, I didn’t try to get help, I didn’t try to stop her. I just ran away and hid while he was just down the hall, getting—”

“Hey, hey, hey,” I soothed, grabbing his hands and kissing the palms. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

“No. That’s the thing. It’s not fucking okay. I didn’t help him. I never helped him, and that fucker said he forgave me, like…like I actually deserved forgiveness, which I don’t. How could he possibly forgive me?”

“Maybe because you were only eight years old,” I suggested. “And you’re not the one who actually molested him.”

He looked up. His eyes were rimmed in red but he wasn’t crying. “Served me right that I’m the one who ended up with the nightmares. Not him.”

I smiled as I stroked his face, picking up pieces of his bangs and smoothing them where I wanted them to go. “But if you’d never had nightmares then you and I wouldn’t have had a reason to connect in the first place.”

His brown eyes shifted to me. “You’re right,” he admitted quietly. Then his hand found its way under my nightshirt and blindly smoothed its way up to where a major portion of my dream catcher was embedded. “I should get a tat of a rabbit’s foot and breath spray.”

I laughed. “A dream catcher would be prettier.”

“Yeah,” he murmured. “Probably.”

He looked so morose; I sifted my fingers through his hair again and kissed his ear before making up my mind. I was fixing my wounded man. Tonight.

“Can you do me a favor?” I asked.

He glanced up. “Anything.”

I bit my lip, hesitant, before I took the leap. Then I said, “Would you at least try to let me give you a blow job?”

When his features immediately withdrew, rejecting that idea, I held up a finger. “Just hear me out. I’m really fucking pissed right now that some child-molesting whore traumatized you and gave you nightmares. And I would like nothing more than to give her the metaphorical finger, proving that she didn’t get the best of you, that you were strong enough to move past her filthy influence, and you can have a completely healthy sex life with blow jobs and any fucking thing you want despite what she did. I want it so bad, I can taste it. So will you please just…”

I begged him with my eyes, and I swear a tinge of green flushed his skin. But after a moment, he nodded. “Okay.” He grabbed my wrist. “But you’ll stop if—”

“Of course,” I reassured him, cupping his face in my hands. “Baby, I just want to make you feel good and show you that she didn’t limit you in any way. If at any time, you don’t like a single thing I do, that’s it; it’ll be over. No questions asked or pushing to get you to try for more.”

His gaze swirled with unease, and he didn’t look excited at all about the prospect of getting his junk sucked, but he nodded, allowing me to continue.

Determined to rock his world, I grinned my thanks and crawled into his lap, grinding down on his cock with my core. He groaned as I peppered kisses along his jaw and neck. Clutching my hip, he announced, “I’m on board so far.”

I laughed and lavished his chest with kisses and licks and little nibbles. As I worked my way down, he gripped the sheets at his side. “Still liking what I’m feeling.”

When I reached his shorts, there was a nice bulge growing under the cloth. I traced it with my fingers, making him arch his hips up toward my touch before I grasped the hem of his underwear and peeled the cloth down slowly.

The man was ready for me. His cock was as big as I’d ever seen it and dripping out the end. I picked him up and wrapped my fingers around his warmth before licking his balls.

“Holy fuck,” he gasped, arching under me. “That was…shit. You can keep doing that. I like that.”

Grinning, I licked him again. Then I went lower, swiping my tongue over the taint area. He groaned, tensing and shifting under me. “Jesus Christ, Juli. What’re you—”

The question broke off when I sucked his dick into my mouth and deep throated him.

He didn’t speak again after that, aside from some frantic pants and moans. I glanced up and was more than pleased to see he was staring down at me with awe as I licked and sucked and wrapped my lips around my teeth, careful not to scrape him. Wanting to give him the best blow job I’d ever given anyone, I fluttered my fingers over his nutsack before pressing my thumb back to his taint and then working him fast and deep.

His head fell back and chest bowed up as he chanted, “Shit, shit, shit, I’m going to…baby doll, I’m gonna cooooome.”

He tapped my shoulder in warning before groaning and flooding my mouth. I swallowed everything he had to give, and I swear he whimpered his gratitude as he grew limp and sated under me.

Smoothing my hand along his thigh, I pulled free of his dick and then kissed the side of it before crawling up his body and curling against him.

“Well?”

He nodded dumbly and stared with a dazed expression up at the ceiling. “Hi, I’m Colton David Gamble,” he uttered a second later. “And I like blow jobs.”

Glowing with triumph, I patted his chest. “Good.”

He turned his face my way. “Wow,” he said. “Just…wow. You, like...I mean, you’re willing to do that again, right?”

With a laugh, I kissed his cheek. “Any time you want, baby doll.”

His smile was pleased and smug, and yet also humbled. A flush spread across his cheeks. “I think you’re the most awesome person I’ve met in the history of ever.”

“Geesh, if I knew you’d turn this complimentary after a blow job, I would’ve forced one on you weeks ago.”

“Yeah, why didn’t you?” he asked, crinkling his brow.

I poked him in the side. “Hush. Don’t ruin the moment.”

He grinned before offering, “Sorry.”

“Forgiven,” I answered, resting my head on his shoulder. “Thank you for letting me try that.”

“Welcome,” he whispered and ran his hand over my hair wrap. “Thank you for trying.”

With nothing more to say between us, we lay there, quiet, relaxing in the aftermath of what I thought was a very pivotal moment in our relationship.

Colton had just trusted me enough to take him where he’d allowed no one to go. This couldn’t just be sex for him then, either. It just couldn’t be.

But I stayed awake, stressing about it, wondering, worrying if I was setting myself up for some epic heartbreak. He hadn’t mentioned anything about letting his brother in on the fact we were together now, but then I guessed I hadn’t brought up my dad either.

Maybe I should be the first to broach the subject. Maybe it’d prompt him to say he didn’t want to keep us a secret either, that he wanted more than just sex.

I didn’t know. Maybe I was just overthinking it because what was going to happen was going to happen no matter how much I worried.

Colton shifted against me, and I noticed his breathing had changed. I wasn’t sure when he’d fallen asleep, but it only made me feel more protective of him. My hand smoothed over his hair. I’d do anything to keep him happy.

I couldn’t believe some wicked bitch had traumatized him like that and given him nightmares. I wanted to find her and—

Wait…

The night of Brandt’s wedding, he’d told me his mother had caused his nightmares, not…

I shook my head as the pieces from all the things he’d ever told me began to fall into place.

And then it struck me.

I sat straight up in the dark and gasped. “Holy shit.”

It had been his mother who’d molested the other boy, not some other boy’s mother, unless...

Oh my God, what if both him and the other boy had the same mother? Like they’d been brothers.

And if that boy had been thirteen when Colton had been eight, then that made a five-year age difference between them.

Brandt was five years older than Colton.

I glanced over at the man sleeping soundly next to me and whispered, “Oh my fucking God.”

COLTON’S CHAPTER | 25

“Let’s go out,” I suggested the next night as I patted Julianna’s thigh in encouragement.

It was night two of Aunt Flow’s visit and since there was no action going to go on in the apartment—except for that one little blow job I’d begged from her about two seconds after I’d arrived, but that had been nearly two hours ago—I was getting cabin fever.

Even Juli’s roommates were gone. She told me they often disappeared whenever she had her period because it made her so cantankerous, though I’d yet to see her even mildly moody.

Glancing up from the really boring show on the television we’d been watching about how cement was made, she blinked at me from big brown eyes.

“And do what?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Let’s get something to eat.” We hadn’t had supper, and I was always ready to eat.

She blinked as if startled. “You want to go out to dinner with me?”

“Sure.” Why was she staring at me as if I’d just said something amazing? “I’ve been eyeing that place a few blocks down from here. Gusano’s, or whatever it’s called.”

“Gusano’s?” she said slowly and I could see the hesitation in her eyes.

I cocked an eyebrow. “What? Do you not like pizza? We can try somewhere else.”

“No, it’s not that,” she quickly reassured, only to laugh at herself. “I mean, I do like pizza. We usually order it delivered from the convenience store on the corner, though. I just…I really don’t go down that way often. Toward Gusano’s.”

“You don’t?” I frowned because it seemed like a nice enough neighborhood to me. “Why not?”

“No reason,” she said quickly. “You’re right, let’s do this. I’ll just change into something presentable and—”

When she stood from the couch and started to move away toward the hallway, I caught her hand. “There’s no need. You look great.” And she did. A snug cotton top with an ESU Viking on it and black yoga pants that never looked so good on anyone else before.

“Colton…” she whined, tugging on her hand to break free.

“Julianna,” I returned, arching my eyebrows. “Remember that little problem you have of worrying so much about what everyone else thinks of you? Well, I think you look sexy as hell, and you and I are the only ones who matter tonight. So if you’re comfortable, then don’t change.”

She growled out her resistance before tipping back her head and sighing. “Okay, fine. I’ll put on my shoes and that’s it.”

“Don’t even touch your hair,” I warned as I loosened my grip on her hand just enough for her to pull free.

With a roll of her eyes, she turned away and sashayed off, calling over her shoulder, “Honey, you don’t ever tell a woman what she can and cannot do with her hair.”

I laughed, glad her sassy spark had returned. By the time she reentered the living room, I had my own shoes on and wallet, phone, and keys back in my pockets. When she smirked at me, her mouth looked extra shiny.

I shook my head. “Lip gloss, you little rebel?” Then I wiggled my eyebrows. “I think someone’s begging for a spanking from Colton tonight.”

With a laugh, she smacked my arm. “Baby doll, you only wish you had the privilege of placing your palm anywhere near my hind end.”

Wondering if it was wrong that I liked it when she stole my pet name for her and used it against me, I made a hungry sound in my throat and tugged her close, wrapping a hand around her waist before saying into her ear, “Challenge accepted.”

When my fingers snuck down her back and squeezed her ass, she set her hand on my chest and looked up at me, her face absolutely glowing with pleasure. “I really do have my hands full with you, don’t I, young man?”

“You really do,” I agreed. “So do you want to walk or drive?”

“Let’s walk,” she said. “I kind of like being out in the cool air sometimes with the breeze on my face, and I feel like being active tonight.”

“All right then. Walking it is.” I took her hand, and we left her apartment together, walking the seven blocks to Gusano’s. We laughed and chatted the whole way, and the late January air really did feel good against our faces.

Once we were seated in a dark intimate booth in the back corner with only the soft glow of a paper lantern over us, I reached across the table and took her fingers, rubbing my thumbs over hers because she said her hands were freezing.

“Tell me something good you remember about your mom,” I said.

She blinked, shaking her head in surprise. “My mom?”

“Yeah,” I encouraged, squeezing her fingers. “All I know is that she was a good mom, but I want details.”

“I…” Julianna laughed and her cheeks brightened. “I don’t know. I was so young; I just remember silly, simple things really. Like when we watched TV together, I’d sit on her lap in the big rocking chair in the front room while she’d wrap her arms around me and rest her chin on my shoulder.”

“That sounds nice.” I smiled. “What was your favorite show to watch together?”

“No way!” She giggled and ducked her face. “You’ll laugh.”

“I won’t. I swear.” I tugged on her fingers to get her to look up again.

Finally, she lifted her gaze, still looking rueful before she mumbled, “SpongeBob.”

“Shut the front door!” I widened my eyes. “I watched that too.”

Covering her mouth, she laughed before sighing out her pleasure. “Of course you did.”

“No, I did. Seriously. Caroline helped me be Patrick for Halloween one year.”

“Oh my God!” She pointed, her eyes going wide. “I was Sandy.”

I suddenly loved this girl. “Spacesuit Sandy or Bikini Sandy?”

She set her hands over her eyes as she admitted, “Bikini Sandy. I had the ruffled purple skirt and everything.”

Sweet. “What did you use for the tail?”

“My dad borrowed a real fox tail from my grandma.” When my mouth opened, she pointed. “Don’t ask. Please don’t ask.”

I lifted my hands in surrender, but still had to say, “So you used a real fox tail for a fake squirrel costume tail?”

Tears streamed down her cheeks she started to laugh so hard. “Yes. Grandma Cicely is kind of into hoodoo stuff.” She wiped at her cheeks before narrowing her eyes. “Don’t ever tell anyone I told you this, but I loved my tail. I wished it had been real.”

Imagining my Julianna as a little girl with a fox tail made me grin.

I winked. “Don’t worry, Sandy. Your secret tail is safe with me.” Then setting my hand over my gut, I rose from my seat. “I gotta hit the john real quick. I’ll be right back.”

After she nodded at me, I kissed her temple and went in search of the bathroom.

I was in there two minutes max before I returned to our table. But the laughing-so-hard-she-was-crying Juli I’d left only seconds before was long gone. She’d pulled her arms to her chest protectively and had scooted back to the darkest back corner of the booth.

As I sat across from her, she shot a glare toward another table.

“Everything okay?” I asked, glancing that way to find two girls at another table eating their own supper. When they smirked back, I blinked. “Do you know them?”

“Hmm?” She tore her attention from them and finally focused on me. “No, why?”

I shook my head confused. “I don’t know. Maybe because you guys keep sending each other killer glares.”

She sighed. But all she said was, “They started it.”

“Started what?” I glanced between her and the girls again. “The glaring contest?”

“Yes.”

Still totally lost on what I was missing, I arched my eyebrows. “Why would they glare at you if they don’t even know you?”

She pierced me with an incredulous stare. “Why would I start a glaring contest with them?”

“Good point.” I glanced at them—yep, they were still sneaking sneers our way—and then I scanned Juli from head to…well, wherever the table hid her from view. “I wonder what their issue is. It’s not like your clothes don’t match. You look hot and sporty. So it can’t be some fashion faux pas that’s offended their trendy little senses.”

Julianna rolled her eyes. “It’s because I’m black,” she told me dryly.

I lifted my eyebrows. “Huh?”

“They don’t think I belong here with you.”

I stared at her a moment without speaking, then turned to study the gossiping women openly. “You think?”

“Yes,” she hissed, reaching out to grab my hand in order to get my attention. “I knew it’d be a bad idea to come here. I’ve never seen any black people in this neighborhood when I’ve driven by before. I don’t belong here. Dammit, Colton, please stop looking at them.”

I turned back to her, not letting go of her fingers when she tried to pull away. “Okay, first of all, that’s just bullshit. You belong everywhere, baby doll. And secondly, are you sure it’s a race thing? Maybe they’re just jealous because you’re so beautiful.”

With a roll of her eyes, she sighed. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s the problem.”

“No, seriously,” I urged. “I know you go to great lengths to make sure everything on you is perfectly in place and flawless every day. To you, nothing would be worse than being criticized for your appearance. But I think all that perfection actually brings you more judgment.”

She pulled back, lifting her eyebrows. “Excuse me?”

“You’re almost inhuman because of how gorgeous you are,” I explained. “That’ll make all the mortal, average women out there jealous and more critical. They’ll watch you closer, look for any small, insignificant thing wrong with you to prove you’re not so perfect after all just to make themselves feel better.”

“Is that how you think I feel?” she demanded. “That how a person looks is what’s most important to me?”

“No…” I said slowly, knowing I’d just put myself on some slippery ground here, but I couldn’t seem to shut myself up. “I don’t think you judge other people for how they look. And I don’t think you’re trying to make yourself out to look better than anyone else either. You’re not that arrogant. You’re…fuck, what’s the word.” I snapped my fingers when it came to me. “You’re defensive. I think your motto is that the best defense is a good offense.”

She shook her head slowly. “I’m not following.”

“You don’t judge, but you feel as if you’re always being judged, so you go on the offensive before anyone can attack you. Every time you dress, you make a statement. You’re trying to prove to the world that you are not lower than anyone else. You’re not going to go down without a fight.” I shrugged. “Which I find really admirable and awesome, though sometimes it works against you.”

“How does that work against me?” She leaned toward me, seeming intrigued, but not pissed, which was a huge relief to me, since pissing her off was the very last thing I wanted to do.

“To stupid, simple-minded people just glancing by, all that pride in yourself sometimes makes you appear…” I winced, knowing the next word I said wouldn’t be pretty.

She sent me a dry glance. “Just say it.”

So I blurted, “Stuck-up.”

Her eyebrows lifted. “Oh really? Stuck-up, huh?” She shook her head, grinning as if amused. “But you say you know better than that, huh?”

“Of course, I know better.” I winked and whispered, “I’ve seen your underwear, remember?”

She threw her head back and laughed. “My underwear? How the hell does my underwear have anything to do with anything?”

“They’re my favorite thing you wear,” I swore solemnly.

Shaking her head, she continued to chuckle. “How? They’re boring as hell.”

“No,” I insisted. “They’re honest as hell. They’re one of the only things you put on your body that no one else sees. So they tell me exactly how you’d dress if it didn’t matter to you what anyone thought about you. They tell me you value comfort and practicality while you also like flashy colors over dull boring ones. And you keep all this tucked privately away where very few privileged people get a glimpse of them.”

Her lips parted as she studied my face. After a second of just soaking in my words, she murmured, “It’s scary how fucking perceptive you are.”

With a chuckle, I reached out to trace my finger over her cheekbone. “And yet I think you like it.”

“Yeah, well…” She grinned and rolled her eyes, appearing rueful. “Except for the fact that now I sound boring, since I represent my plain, practical underwear, yeah, your talent of reading me’s not so bad.”

“Practical but colorful,” I reminded her as I leaned across the table toward her. “Truth be told, I like it. I like you just the way you are.”

When I pressed my mouth to hers, she pressed back, humming in her throat and coasting her fingers over my hair. “I like you too,” she admitted.

“Good.” I kissed her again.

Not far away, the sound of laughter made me pull back and glance over at the girls who’d been bothering her before. They were watching us openly and whispering back and forth.

Obviously, our kiss had sent them over the edge.

I scowled. “Huh. Maybe the interracial thing does bother them.” I rolled out my middle finger and flipped the girls off.

“Colton!” Julianna grabbed my finger and covered it with her hand, while the other table gasped and quickly looked away.

“What?” I shook my head, confused. I’d gotten them to mind their own damn business, hadn’t I?

Juli gritted her teeth. “You’re the one who told me to forget what other people thought of us.”

“They were upsetting you,” I argued moodily. That pissed me off.

She sighed. “Well, two wrongs do not make a right.”

“Yeah, but are we absolutely certain my flipping them off was really wrong?” I asked. “I mean, I was just calling them out on their assholery. You do that to me all the time.”

Her eyes narrowed. “I call you out because I know you’re better than that.”

My chest swelled. “You do? Just how good do you think I am, baby doll?”

Lifting her chin, she scowled. “Stop being arrogant.”

I laughed just as our waiter came around to discreetly set our receipt on the table next to me. He didn’t ask if we needed anything else, but sent me a tight smile and said, “Have a good night,” before darting a glance toward Juli and taking off.

I gazed after him, beginning to feel the same paranoia Julianna was; that people were judging us. Lifting my eyebrows her way, I said, “I guess that was our cue to leave.”

“Message received.” She grabbed her purse, suddenly eager to go.

I tossed down enough cash to cover the dinner and took her hand. As we walked out of the restaurant, I glanced around. A couple people watched us covertly, but most of them glanced past, thinking nothing of our relationship. It felt like I was conducting some kind of experiment; studying the social behaviors of the average Homo sapiens in their natural habitat. And I had to conclude, a majority of the population had evolved nicely, which was why the minority stood out so starkly, starkly enough to make Julianna feel uncomfortable.

I kissed her temple, and she pressed tighter against my side, holding my arm.

“I’m sorry,” I said as soon as we were on the sidewalk and starting back toward her building. “I didn’t understand how out of place this restaurant would make you feel.”

She shook her head. “Don’t worry about it.”

But I did anyway. “Did this bother you when you went on your date with Brandt?”

Briefly burying her face in my shoulder and inhaling me as if she needed my scent to soothe herself, she finally looked up. “Strangely, no.”

I frowned, tipping my face to the side as I studied her. “Why not? He’s just as white as I am.”

She shrugged, not meeting my gaze. “I don’t know.”

Unease pierced my stomach with a gnawing burn I didn’t like. “So…you just liked him so much you didn’t care what people thought?” Which meant, she didn’t like me that much.

But she looked up at me and gripped my arm, saying, “No. I think it was just the opposite actually. When he picked me up that night, it just…it felt more like two coworkers hanging out than an actual date. Friendly but not that personal. I knew we wouldn’t touch or hold hands or, you know, any of that, so I guess I just assumed other people would see coworkers together when they saw us. In fact, I never worried about the interracial aspect with him at all, and I think that was because somewhere in me I always knew it wouldn’t go there.”

And just like that, the burn in my gut dissipated. “Then you think it will go there with me?” I had to ask, and my heart started to pound hard, anxious for her answer yet scared what she’d say.

“We do sleep together,” she said, but that was a fucking cop-out answer if I ever heard one.

She wouldn’t look at me either, so I pressed. “Come on, baby doll, you know what I’m really asking. Where do you think this is going with us?”

Her eyes looked so big and brown when she looked up, I could see the same worry and anxiety in my gut stirring around on her face.

“Where do you think it’s going?” she countered.

I grinned and shook my head. “I asked first.”

“Then you should answer first,” she smarted back.

I threw back my head and laughed. One thing was certain; I loved verbally sparring with her more than anyone else on the planet.

But the fucking hell I was going to answer first.

As we neared a pub with muffled music pouring from the building and floodlights shining down on a couple of outdoor tables, a rowdy group of guys noticed our approach.

One stumbling drunk tripped from his tall-seated chair and leered. “Mudsharking it, huh?” He sent me a sloppy sneer. “You must like it dirty.”

I jerked to a stop and swerved my attention to him. “What did you just say?” My tone was not polite and in no way invited him to continue with that line of disgust.

But the idiot kept grinning and jerked his elbow at me as if we were buddies. He turned his face enough for the light to brighten a teardrop tattoo at the corner of his eye. I stared at it, trying to remember if those things meant you’d killed someone and gone to jail for it or if you’d just been close to someone who’d died.

“Seriously,” Teardrop slurred. “Do her tits taste like chocolate?”

“Hey, come on, man,” one of his friends encouraged, taking his arm and trying to pull him back. To us, he said, “He’s drunk.”

“Huh,” I answered dryly. “I’ve gotten drunk a lot without fucking insulting people.”

“Colton, let’s go,” Julianna spoke quietly into my ear as she tugged me away.

I was about to follow her lead when the dumb drunk broke away from his restraining friend and made a beeline for her.

“I wanna taste her chocolate titties.”

When Teardrop reached out as if to grope her chest, Julianna screeched and hopped away from him.

“Hey!’ I shoved his arm down. “Fucker, keep your hands to yourself.”

The drunk glared at me. “Why don’t you keep your hands to your own kind? You’re muddying up the water, asshole.”

And then he had the foolishness to swing at me.

Me!

I know, what a dipshit.

From that point forward, it was on.

Julianna pressed a cold pack to my eye. I hissed out a breath and tipped my face away because it was freezing as fuck. But she scowled at me, tsked, and pressed it more firmly to my rapidly bruising skin.

“Stop being such a pansy.”

“Pansy?” I scowled at her out of my one good eye. Leaning against the trunk of a patrol car as we waited for an officer to give our statement to because I’d just gotten into my first fistfight, I thought I’d been coming across as pretty badass myself. And might I add, the other dude was currently being carted into the back of an ambulance. But apparently, all it took was one really fucking cold piece of plastic to the face to yank me down to pansy status.

Damn.

“So what happened here tonight?” one of the police officers asked as he approached, flipping open a little notebook.

I snorted and lifted my hand toward Teardrop, who was resisting other officers and even EMT as they attempted to get him inside the ambulance. I think he was still too drunk to realize he’d broken his arm when we’d fallen to the ground.

“That fucker started it. We…” I paused to motion between Julianna and myself, “were walking down the street minding our own damn business, when he left his table and stumbled toward us, calling me a freaking mudshark.”

The cop stopped taking notes and glanced up, blinking in confusion. “A mudshark? Isn’t that supposed to be a white woman with a black guy?”

“I know!” I lifted a hand to compliment him. “Thank you! That’s what I thought. The stupid shithead couldn’t even criticize us right. I mean, really? What a dumbass.” Pausing in sudden thought, I glanced toward Julianna. “What is it called when a white guy hooks up with a black girl?”

She blinked, letting me know she couldn’t believe I was even asking her that. But then she shook her head. “I have no idea.”

Oh well. It didn’t matter. I waved a hand and turned back to the cop. “Anyway, then that fucker reached for her breasts, saying he wanted to taste them, and—”

“He, wait. He reached for your—” When the officer spun toward Julianna, his gaze immediately dipped to her chest, since they were the topic of conversation, and he flushed bright red because she did happen to have some lovely cleavage going on under her ESU shirt. “Uh…” After blinking, he lifted his gaze. “Did he assault you, ma’am?”

“No.” Juli shook her head immediately. “He—”

“As if I’d let that piece of shit touch her,” I boomed, scowling at the officer for even suggesting such a thing. “I shoved his arm away before he could, and then it was on. He swung at me. I ducked. He swung again. I didn’t duck so well. I shoved him by the chest backward away from us. He swung again. I didn’t get to duck at all. Then Julianna tried to pull his arm away, so he whirled on her like he was going to hit her. But I jumped on his back, and that’s when we went to the ground. He landed first, which is probably why his arm is hanging all wrong like it is. And after that, it was just kind of a free-for-all. We both went after each other, punching and cursing.”

I shrugged, wondering if I should’ve mentioned every detail about what had just gone down, but whatever. I wasn’t going to lie. If it landed me in jail…fuck it. I would’ve done everything the same exact way if I’d had a second chance.

Then again, jail would mean I’d have to call Noel. And having Noel learn about this… Fuck.

That wouldn’t be so cool.

Since the cop was still busy scribbling down my account, I leaned in toward Julianna. “Do you think they’re going to call Noel?”

“I doubt it,” she whispered back. “You’re eighteen, remember?”

“Oh, right.” I blew out a relieved breath. “Sweet.”

Her eyes widened as she glanced at me. “How is that sweet? Being an adult means you could very likely go to jail right now.”

I still wasn’t too concerned about that. I mean, really, how long could a person spend behind bars for a freaking fistfight? Brandt had gotten into fights all the time back in his day, and he’d never gone to jail.

Okay, maybe I was being a bit delusional there. Oh well. Jail would be an experience.

“So…he swung first?” the officer asked, glancing up as he came to the end of his notetaking.

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“And you acted in self-defense the entire time?”

When I nodded, he turned his attention to Julianna. “And you corroborate his story, ma’am? Anything to add or change?”

“Yes.” She nodded immediately. “I mean, no, I don’t have anything to add or change. He said it all exactly how it happened.” With a hard glance to me, she muttered, “Probably even shared more details than I would’ve. So, yes, I support his story all the way.”

“Okay then, folks.” He nodded and flipped his notebook closed. “Thank you for your time. I’m going to go check to make sure none of the other officers have any more questions and then we’ll let you be on your way, all right?”

Both Julianna and I blinked at him in surprise. I don’t think either of us expected him to let me go just like that.

A second later, I gushed out a grateful nod. “Yeah, okay. Thanks, man.”

He nodded and turned away. Julianna let out a squeak of excitement before squeezing her arm around mine and kissing my shoulder. “Oh, thank God. I was so sure you were going to get arrested.”

I kissed her temple. “Have a little more faith in me than that, baby doll. I can talk my way out of anything.” Then with a wink, I sent her a salacious once-over. “Or into anything.”

JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 26

“I think I’m done with this pansy-maker,” Colton announced, pulling the ice pack away from his eye. The paramedics had given it to us when they’d first arrived and checked him out. It was beginning to drip with condensation as he held it out away from him.

“I’ll go return it to them,” I offered, taking it from his hand.

“Thanks, baby doll.” He kissed me in gratitude.

Red and blue lights flashed over me as I approached the ambulance where they’d just restrained the drunk who’d fought with Colton enough to successfully get him inside. I could see two paramedics in the vehicle with him as they wrapped his arm with a temporary sling, while a third stood just outside the opened doors, talking to a pair of cops.

One of the officers noticed me and nodded respectfully. “We’ll take him to jail once they get him checked out at the hospital, okay, ma’am?”

I smiled gratefully and turned my attention to the EMT. “He says he doesn’t need this anymore, thanks.”

The guy took back the cold pack and glanced at the two departing officers before returning his attention to me. “They said all this was over a racial thing.”

I nodded and sighed, rubbing a spot on the center of my forehead where a headache was starting. “Yeah. It was.”

He shifted confidentially closer. Since he was the only other black person on the scene, I thought he was going to offer up some words of encouragement. But he said, “You know this wouldn’t have happened if you’d just stayed with your own kind, right?”

My mouth fell open. “Excuse me?”

He would’ve said more—his lips were parting to say more—but he darted a look over my shoulder and immediately shut down. I glanced around to find Colton joining us.

My poor boy was utterly spent of all energy. I was afraid he’d pass out any second as he closed his eyes and leaned into me to rest his forehead on my shoulder. “The cop just released us,” he reported. “I want to go home now.”

He was so drained, he slurred his words. I pulled back, instantly worried. “Are you sure you’re okay? You weren’t this tired a few minutes ago.”

Opening half-lidded eyes, he mumbled, “I’m fine. I just want to go home.”

The asshole paramedic who was still standing there holding Colton’s ice pack had been the one to initially check him. I narrowed my eyes on him now. “Are you sure he doesn’t have a concussion? I mean, you checked, right?”

Or maybe he just hadn’t been all that concerned about the white guy who was dating the black girl.

When I gave him a death glare, letting him know he’d better double check my man or he was going to suffer, he sighed and pulled a pen flashlight from his front pocket.

But Colton winced and held up a hand, shaking his head. “I’m fine. Really. Just crashing after the adrenaline rush.”

His gaze turned beseechingly to me, so I nodded.

“Okay, we’ll go,” I said softly. Wrapping my arm around his waist, I sent the paramedic one last defiant glare and then led Colton away.

Once we were away from the hoopla of emergency vehicles with their flashing lights, he sighed and leaned more heavily against me. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to take you out to eat.”

“Oh, stop,” I chided. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You defended me and that kind of makes you my hero right now.”

“I don’t think he broke my nose.” He reached up to dab tenderly at the side of it. “But it hurts like a motherfucker. I’m going to down about half a bottle of painkillers when I get home.”

I looked up at him, worried anew. “Are you sure you don’t have a concussion?”

“I’m fine, baby doll.” He kissed my temple. “Just ready to go home.” Pausing, he sent me an uneasy glance. “Would I be a total dick if I went home now?”

My apartment building had just come into view and I could see where he’d parked his truck from here. My instinctive answer was to clutch him tighter and beg him to stay. I didn’t want him to leave…ever. Plus, I wanted to keep watch over him in case he really did have a concussion.

But I nodded and said, “Go home, baby. Get some sleep.”

He nodded, looking like he might fall asleep before he made it there. “I’ll see you to your door.”

But I resisted. “No. Your truck is right here. You don’t have to walk me all the way back inside and out again.”

“But—”

“Colton.” My voice was stern. “You’re in pain. Go home.”

After a reluctant sigh, he nodded and closed his eyes briefly. “I’ll text when I get home to make sure you made it safely inside.”

I smiled and rolled my eyes, but said, “Okay, thank you,” because I wanted to make sure he made it home all right, too.

We paused at his driver’s side door and he hugged me, resting his cheek on the top of my head. “I know this probably won’t make you feel any better, but I don’t think everyone is like that drunk douche or those gossipy bitches at the restaurant. Most people weren’t bothered at all by us being together.”

I sighed and stroked his arm. “I know,” I answered, but yeah, it didn’t really make me feel any better. Not tonight anyway.

“I think putting up with a couple assholes is worth it, though,” he said quietly enough that I could barely hear him. “Because this is going somewhere,” he added before pulling away and opening his door.

I lifted my head and gaped at him as he climbed into his truck and started the engine. He finally glanced at me through the window and blew me a kiss. Then he backed out of his parking spot and drove off.

Still in a daze over his admission, I walked blindly to my apartment. After I unlocked my door and went inside, I touched my lips as if he’d physically kissed me goodbye with those words and I could still feel the impact of them on my mouth.

It was more than just sex for him too.

Oh my God, it was more than just sex for him too!

Even after the crappiness we’d experienced tonight, I wanted to laugh and dance and share my news with the world. Colton liked me for more than just sex.

Muffled voices came from the kitchen, so I started that way without thought. I wanted to celebrate with my besties.

Tyla was asking, “Where’s JuJu?” when I reached the opening.

“Probably with Colton again,” Sasha answered, just as Theo snorted.

“Are you fucking kidding me? She’s still seeing that white douchebag?”

I had opened my mouth to call a greeting, but closed it at his question, not wanting to deal with any more of that tonight. The two couples were gathered around the counter where three boxes of pizza from the corner store lay spread open as they hovered and ate.

Feeling extra and unneeded and not wanting to listen to Theo make any more cracks about Colton, I began to back away.

But Theo snorted. “Guess this proves white guys are resistant to the cold.”

I paused, frowning. Huh?

“Why’s that?” Chad asked, his mouth full of pepperoni and cheese.

Theo shrugged. “I mean, he’s gotta be. That or he’s fine with freezing his nuts off every time he sticks his dick in her ice cold, igloo pussy.”

As a part of me shut down to avoid feeling any kind of pain, Tyla gasped and walloped him on the arm. “Theodore Jamal Richmond! What the fucking hell?”

“Well, it’s true!” Theo cried, ducking and lifting his arm when Tyla went for his face next.

“That is not true at all.”

“Oh, shit.” Chad had finally noticed me in the doorway, his next bite of pizza frozen halfway to his mouth.

Sasha glanced over and gasped, slapping her hands over her mouth.

When Tyla saw me, she immediately began to shake her head. “No.” She stepped toward me. “JuJu—”

But I retreated a foot, and she slowed to a stop.

“I was just letting you guys know I was home,” I said quietly. When I swung my gaze toward Theo, he actually had the decency to look contrite. “And I’d appreciate it if you would stop calling him that white douchebag. His name is Colton.”

Then I turned away and walked stiffly to my room. When I reached it, I closed the door without any fuss and moved immediately to my closet to pull out a suitcase. I had no idea where I was going as I filled it. I just didn’t want to be here.

Outside Sasha and Ty, I wasn’t really friends with anyone else in town, not friendly enough to ask to stay with them, anyway. And bothering Colton was out of the question. His family didn’t know about us for a completely different reason. Besides, he was miserable and in pain right now. He needed a break.

Maybe Pick could help me out. I’d heard of some pretty awesome things he’d done for a couple of my coworkers, even though bothering my boss when he was probably at home with his family right now seemed all kinds of wrong.

I’d just stuffed a handful of underwear, all plain cotton but with vibrant colors, into the suitcase when a soft knock came at my door.

Tyla pushed it open, hesitantly peeking inside. Sasha crept in right behind her.

“He’s gone,” Ty told me, her eyes full of apology. “I kicked him out.”

“Chad left too,” Sasha reported.

I sighed and dropped my armful of socks onto my mattress. “You guys, you didn’t have to do that. I can go.”

“What? You’re not going anywhere,” Sasha stated firmly. “This is your home. And why is there blood smeared on your shirt?”

I glanced down and blinked at the rusty smear covering my right breast. Colton had broken open his knuckles and scraped his arm in the fight. That must’ve been where this had come from.

I didn’t know why, but seeing his blood on me broke me. I sat down on top of the sock pile, buried my face in my hands and proceeded to cry.

“Oh, honey.” Sasha sat next to me, and Tyla took my other side. Their arms wrapped around me and held me close as they rocked me back and forth.

“What did that bastard do to you?” Tyla demanded.

I shook my head and wiped at my tears. “No. Colton didn’t do anything wrong. He’s perfect. He’s so fucking amazing; he’s the best man I’ve ever known. And I’m just so scared because it wasn’t supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be fun and done, get it out of our system and never talk to each other again. But he was just so amazing. And then he brought me candy when I was on my period and told me his secrets and listened to mine and got into a fight with some jackass who tried to grab my breasts, and I just…I don’t know. I’ve never felt anything this big for a guy before, except I’m not supposed to. He didn’t want his brother to know, I didn’t want my dad to find out. But then he made it sound like he wanted more tonight, and I want more too. I kind of want everyone to know he’s mine, and if they have a problem with it, they can just go fuck themselves.”

I exhaled a big long breath after unloading all that, my chest heaving and eyes still sprouting tears. I was pretty much a disaster, and both my roommates were staring at me as if I’d lost my mind, which I think I had.

Finally, Sasha lifted her eyebrows and blew out a breath. “Okay, maybe you should start from the beginning. Whose blood is on you?”

My shoulders fell. “I think I need to start a lot further back than that.”

“That’s fine.” Tyla nodded encouragingly. “How far back are we talking?”

“About a year,” I confessed. “Pretty much a week or two after I started working at the bar. Brandt was my trainer, and I thought he was cool.” I shrugged. “He is cool. The guy has every quality a girl would want in a man, so I thought, why not. He fit the mold I had set in my brain for the perfect guy. But the very night I was going to ask him out, his brother stopped by.”

“And it was like destiny,” Sasha tried to fill in for me, as she pressed her hands to her chest dramatically.

I blinked at her before saying, “No. He annoyed the hell out of me. He was loud and obnoxious and so arrogantly inappropriate, I pretty much wanted to smack him. But then he left, and I found myself sending glances toward the door as if I was looking for him to return or something. It was freaky, so freaky that I went ahead and asked Brandt out because, I don’t know...nothing was freaky or scarily intense with Brandt. But then that bombed, and I have to say, I wasn’t really that disappointed. I was just sad, sad because he’d finally settled with his soul mate, and you’d started seeing Theo.”

I pointed to Tyla before glancing at Sasha. “And you’ve always had Chad. I just felt so alone. The only time I ever felt truly alive was when Colton stopped by to see Brandt at the bar. I think he got a kick out of pissing me off because the more I reacted the more he flirted. After a while, I realized I was getting a kick out of his visits too. We had this bizarre game of him pursuing me relentlessly while I told him to fuck off. But nothing ever came of it. Not until the night of Brandt’s wedding.”

Tyla gasped and waved her hands excitedly. “What, girl, what? You’ve been holding out on us. I knew it! What happened at that wedding? This is going to be juicy, isn’t it? Ooh, this better be fucking juicy as hell.”

Oh, it was juicy all right.

“I was extra depressed,” I admitted. “And bitter because I felt so alone. I was reflecting on how things could’ve ended up if Brandt and I had actually worked out when the best man sat down at my table.”

“Colton was the best man?” Sasha guessed, grinning wide. “Mmm, are you telling us you made it with the best man at your crush’s wedding, and he also happened to be the groom’s brother? Holy shit, you naughty woman. I am so impressed.”

When she hugged me, I burst out laughing. “It felt really, really wrong. We were this close to having sex.” I put a centimeter of space between my thumb and index finger. “And I mean this close. But then I blurted out something about loving Brandt, and he took off and—”

“You did what?” Tyla exploded. “Why would you do that?”

“I don’t know!” I wailed. “I was drunk and still moody and depressed from not having anyone. I think I’d been trying to convince myself all day that I still liked him. So when I hooked up with Colton, it just came out. It felt like he was pissed at me forever over that, too.”

I continued to tell them about everything that had happened since then.

Meanwhile, Tyla found the stash of candy Colton had bought me the night before—dear Jesus, had that only been the night before?—and the three of us tore into it while I spilled everything, and I mean everything.

When I got to the part about the bitchy gossipy girls at the restaurant, the drunk asshole who’d harassed us, and the condescending paramedic, Tyla clutched her face in her hands and moaned, “Then you came home to Theo and his big, stupid fat mouth. JuJu, I am so sorry. Will you please forgive me?”

I shook my head. “There’s nothing to forgive. You weren’t the one who said anything.”

“I know, but…he’s my boyfriend. My responsibility. I should’ve…I…” Her eyes filled with tears. “I don’t think he and I are going to make it.”

“What?” Sasha screeched. She seemed more startled to hear this than I did.

“He always flirts with other girls,” Tyla said. “Like right in front of me, usually when I’m trying to tell him about my day. He never pays attention when I talk to him, and some of the cracks he’s said about my friends or things I like are really starting to bother me.”

“What’s he said about me?” Sasha had to know.

Tyla seemed to wilt under our gazes. “You don’t even want to know.”

Sasha’s mouth dropped open with a gasp. A second later, she said, “Okay, you can dump his worthless ass.”

Tyla laughed, only to sob out a hiccup and wipe her wet face. “I just don’t know if I can. I’m afraid to be alone.” Her gaze shifted to me. “You were so brave when you dropped Shaun flat after he slapped you. You weren’t afraid to be alone, or stand up to him, or…any of that. And I just know I never would’ve been able to do that. I would’ve given him another chance and another and another. I’m just…I’m not that strong.”

“This is so insane,” Sasha uttered, shaking her head. “I thought you and Theo were happy together.”

“Well, I had to make you think that. You and Chad are the perfect couple. It’s sickening. And I wanted to be like that.”

“Oh my God.” Sasha snorted out a laugh. “And here, I’d been depressed because it felt as if he and I were the boring old practically married couple that never did anything new.”

“Hey, you guys skipped class and had sex all afternoon last week,” I offered helpfully. “That’s not so boring.”

Sasha and Tyla burst out laughing until tears ran down their cheeks.

“We need to do this more often,” Tyla announced as she popped a Starburst into her mouth. “This is nice.”

“I know,” Sasha said, reaching out to squeeze both our thighs. “I miss just talking to you guys.”

Feeling a little too chatty, I blurted, “I sometimes don’t feel like I can talk to you because you two are, you know, so close, and I know I’m the pathetic third wheel.”

They blinked and stared at me before saying, “Really?” as if that idea had never occurred to them.

A moment later, Sasha reached for my hand. “Oh, honey. I never meant to make you feel that way. You two are equally important to me, I swear.” Then she blushed ruefully and ducked her head. “Though I guess I should confess, you kind of intimidate the hell out of me sometimes.”

“I do? What? Why?”

“Well.” She shrugged and shared a glance with Tyla, who nodded in agreement. “It’s just…you’re so perfect. I mean…” She waved a hand over me. “Nothing is ever out of place—aside from the blood tonight, which just looks so strange on you, by the way—and you’re always…you just have everything under control. So I guess I do defer to telling my problems to Tyla more because she’s just so…”

“Messy,” Tyla supplied cheerfully. “I’m a fucking mess, and she can relate.”

“I’m a mess too,” I cried, pressing my hands to my chest. “I’m always doubting myself and worrying about shit and feeling out of control.”

Holy hell, I’d thought the guise I put on to appear as perfect as possible always failed, sure everyone could see straight through me. And yet…it’d faked out my two best friends, of all people.

“You sure know how to cover it up well, then, honey,” Sasha said kindly. “Because, damn…”

“Yeah, you need to work on that,” Tyla told me. “It makes us mortals feel better when we see you at your low point too…kind of like tonight. In fact, you get an A for unloading all that on us tonight.”

I smiled and nodded. “Okay, I’ll work on that.”

I guess maybe I had been the one pushing them away then, not the other way around. Realizing what kind of mess I really was, I started to apologize to them for not sharing any of my issues when my phone rang.

Seeing Colton’s name, I gasped. “Oh, shit. He’s probably been texting me all night. He said he was going to text when he got home to make sure I made it inside okay. I bet he’s worried as hell.” Holding up a finger to my girls, I answered with a breathless, “Hey, sorry. I had my text messages on vibrate only.”

“Holy shit,” he exploded into my ear. “I put my shoes back on and had my wallet in hand, ready to go back over there and check on you when I realized I hadn’t actually tried calling yet. You gave me fucking heart failure, baby doll. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” I assured him. I glanced at Sasha and Tyla. “I’m actually doing great. I had a little best friend therapy and got carried away girl-talking. I totally forgot you were going to text. So, yeah, everything is fine. I didn’t mean to worry you. I guess you got home okay, too?”

“Yeah, it’s all good here. I’m not so tired anymore, especially not after worrying about you. Did you say girl-talk?” he asked, sounding suddenly interested. “Oh, Jesus. You three are hanging out on your bed in your underwear, having a pillow fight, aren’t you?”

I rolled my eyes, and Sasha snickered because she’d heard his question. A devilish gleam entered Tyla’s eyes right before she loudly proclaimed, “Let’s practice kissing again.”

“Wait, what did she say?” Colton demanded, making my roommates roll with laughter. “Maybe I should come over and check on you anyway,” he suggested.

“Goodnight, Colton,” I told him firmly, rolling my eyes. “I love you.”

I hung up on him and sent my friends an exasperated glance. “He’s such a guy.”

They were both too busy gaping at me with their mouths open to answer.

I blinked, confused. “What’s wrong?”

“Honey,” Tyla said slowly. “Do you realize you just told that boy you loved him?”

“No, I didn’t,” I said slowly, running the conversation back through my head until I got to the farewell, and then all warmth drained from my face. “Oh my God, what have I done?” I turned my beseeching gaze to them and flapped my hands restlessly. “What do I do, what do I do, what do I do?”

Before they could answer, my phone vibrated. “Oh, God,” I uttered. “He just texted me, didn’t he?”

Tyla and Sasha dove for my phone while I remained frozen. As they greedily read the screen, I finally found the courage to ask, “What’d he say?”

Neither answered for a moment, and then Sasha read the message aloud. “He said, Ha, I knew you’d say it first.”

I blinked and snagged the phone from their hands. “That’s all?”

That bastard. Was he not going to say it back, or at least tell me he didn’t feel the same? How dare he leave me hanging?

Two seconds later, another message popped up.

I released a breath, and my shoulders sagged, beyond comforted. “That fucking jerk,” I said, grinning and shaking my head as I showed my friends the new message. “He made me sweat through another two seconds on purpose.”

And I kind of loved him even more for it because it was just so him.

JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 27

The next day was a Saturday, no college classes, so I didn’t have to worry about how I was going to act around Colton in philosophy. I’d never told a guy I loved him over the phone before. Actually, the only other person I’d said it to had been Shaun, and he’d proposed directly after that and we’d spent the rest of the day in bed together.

I shuddered with revulsion, just thinking about him and that day, while a nasty taste filled my tongue. Remembering other guys felt wrong now. I kind of wished everything had started with Colton because he was the only thing that felt right.

And yet I was sitting here stressing about how I was going to behave around him the next time I saw him.

We both knew we loved each other now.

What would I say to him about it? Just blurt it out again first thing? What if he retracted his part of it because he really had gotten a concussion the night before, and he’d been deliriously half out of his mind when he’d texted those three words?

I kind of wanted to puke from stressing myself out so bad.

Sasha was working all day, and Tyla was at Theo’s—I was afraid she wasn’t breaking up with him but making up, ugh—so I couldn’t bother my friends with my worries.

When a text came in from Colton mid-morning, I attacked my phone, eager to read it.

I stared at his words and exhaled a breath, relieved beyond anything I could explain. He hadn’t used the L-word, but what he’d said was just so…us, it settled everything inside me.

I told him:

To which the smart-ass immediately replied:

Yep, everything was as it should be.

When I strolled into work that night, I was actually humming contentedly to myself.

Behind the counter, Brandt was stacking glasses.

“Hey,” I called, smiling in greeting. “Pick still hasn’t found a replacement for you yet, huh?”

“No, the fucker,” he muttered with a scowl toward the back hallway. “I think he’s stalling on purpose.”

I laughed as I stowed my purse away and went to assist him. “That’s what you get for being an awesome employee.”

He sniffed moodily and rolled his eyes, then paused working when his phone rang. As he answered, I finished his task for him and moved on to fill some bowls with pub mix.

“No, I haven’t seen it yet,” Brandt told whoever he was talking to on the phone. “Noel called this morning, all freaked out about it, though, demanding to know what happened, but I had no clue Colton had even been in a fight.”

I paused filling bowls and glanced over at him.

“Hold on a sec. I’m at work; I’m gonna put you on speaker phone.” He pushed a button and set his phone one the counter. “Still there?” he asked, as he checked the cash register.

I stopped what I was doing to stare at his phone.

“You should see this fucking shiner, man,” the voice through the phone cried. “It’s fucking impressive. I’m telling you what, my protégé has done me proud, whipping up a black and blue eye like that. Hell, it’s bigger than the one Blondie gave me.”

Brandt snorted. “Are you still claiming she gave you your biggest black eye yet? Shit, the one I gave you was easily twice as big as hers.”

“Was not,” the caller argued. “Your weenie little bitch slap barely left a mark. But whoever got our boy last night got him good. I’m telling you, someone knocked the shit out of him.”

Shaking his head, Brandt frowned thoughtfully. “And he’s still not saying how he got it?”

I swallowed uneasily and took a step backward from Brandt and his conversation with who I decided sounded like his brother-in-law, Ten.

“Nope,” Ten answered. “Just that he got into it with some stupid drunk.”

Turning away, I dug my own phone from my purse and sent off a text.

He answered seconds later.

My heart did a little happy dance. From listening in on Brandt and Ten’s conversation, I’d been so sure Colton still wanted to keep us a secret from his family. After last night, exchanging love-words, keeping secrets from his family didn’t sit so well with me. So learning he and I were actually on the same page was pretty awesome.

I wrote back:

Then I bit my lip and added:

Trying not to jump up and down with excitement, I answered:

This was really happening between us. He was ready to tell his family. I should totally tell my dad. We were going to start a real relationship. It was as thrilling as it was scary.

A new message pinged:

At the other end of the counter, Brandt was finishing his call with Ten so I put my phone away, and we got busy with work.

The doors opened minutes later, and our Saturday evening shift began.

Karaoke night was always a busy one. Pick usually had three bartenders on staff, but we were down on numbers so badly that it was just Brandt and me.

Our customers kept us busy ordering all sorts of drinks.

About halfway through the night, I received a visitor I wasn’t expecting. I’d just handed over a pair of strawberry daiquiris to two girls and was shifting my greeting to the next guy in line, when I looked straight into Shaun’s eyes.

He’d never visited me at work before.

I jerked back, not expecting him.

On stage, someone was wailing out a really awful rendition of “Me Too” by Meghan Trainor. Stepping toward him so he could hear me over the music, I called, “What’re you doing here?”

He leaned over the counter, shifting us even closer. “We need to talk.”

I shook my head. “I’m working. There’s nothing to talk about anyway.”

His eyes narrowed. “I saw who you’re trying to replace me with. A white boy, Julia? Really?”

He’d been the only person to ever call me Julia. It was a pretty name, sure, but not my name, so it’d always annoyed me. A lot of things he did had annoyed me, and I hadn’t realized until later that he’d been trying to reinvent me as someone else the whole time we’d been together—changing my name, telling me how to wear my hair, what clothes he liked me in, all sorts of stupid controlling crap.

Sending him a look full of get the fuck away from me, I repeated, “Like I said, there’s nothing to talk about. Who I date now is none of your fucking business.” I turned away from him, but he growled and lunged forward over the counter to grab my arm, yanking me hard back to him.

“Don’t you fucking turn away from me, bitch.”

“Hey!” Brandt yelled, finally noticing us from his end of the bar. “Hands off, buddy.” He pointed at Shaun as he strode forward, and Shaun immediately let go of me, lifting his hands and straightening away from the bar.

“Out.” Brandt motioned toward the exit, staring Shaun down with a glare. “Get the fuck out and don’t come back.”

After sending me a look that promised retribution, Shaun turned away. I immediately rubbed my wrist, trying to dispel the pain he’d left behind.

Brandt touched my elbow. “Are you okay? What happened? Who was that?”

“I’m fine,” I mumbled, shaking my head and hoping he would drop it. Motioning toward where Shaun was now stalking out the front door, I said, “He’s an ex.”

“Pleasant one,” Brandt answered sarcastically, only for concern to enter his gaze when a freaking tear slipped down my cheek. “Why don’t you take a break?”

I shook my head. It was busy as hell. I wasn’t abandoning him. But when I tried to turn to the next customer awaiting an order, he growled, “Julianna. I’m serious. Go pull yourself back together. You’re shaking. I got this.”

Dammit. I looked down at my hands and they were shaking.

Feeling a little too exposed, I nodded and hurried off. I only spent a couple minutes by myself in the break room, pacing the floor and blowing out calming breaths before I returned to the bar, but it was enough time to straighten my shit out.

Brandt eyed me with concern. “Better?”

I nodded and sent him a bolstered smile. “Yep. Thanks.”

He kept a sharp eagle eye on me for the rest of the night, though. I wanted to snap and tell him to cut it out—it freaking unnerved me. But he was just concerned, and he was my friend—plus Colton’s brother—so I just gritted my teeth and put up with it.

When he walked me to my car after our shift because we were required by Pick to always walk to our cars in the dark with buddies, he said, “I’m going to follow you home.”

I sighed. “You don’t have to do that.” But the look he sent me told me he was going to follow me home anyway. And okay, I kind of appreciated it. I wasn’t too sure whether Shaun would be waiting at my apartment or not. He’d looked pretty pissed earlier.

“Okay, thank you,” I relented.

It was weird having his headlights in my rearview mirror the entire way home, but also comforting. I planned to wave him off as soon as I parked. But he surprised me when he pulled into the spot next to mine.

“What’re you doing?” I asked in alarm when he stepped out of his truck after turning off the engine.

“I’m making sure you get to your door okay.”

“Brandt, seriously.” I let out a small laugh as I glanced around the deadly quiet area between here and my front door. “There’s no need. He’s not here. I’m fine.” Besides, what he was doing reminded me too much of the night Colton had brought me home after I’d seen Shaun at the frat party. It kind of felt like he was ruining my Colton moment by replaying it now with his own.

“Juli, I am making sure you get to your door okay,” he repeated. “End of discussion.”

I sent him an irritated scowl and tried a new route. “What would your wife think?”

The dry look he returned told me just how unimpressed he was by the question. “My wife would kick my ass if I didn’t make sure you got home completely safe and sound.” He pulled his cell phone from his pocket. “You want me to wake her up and prove it to you?”

I groaned and rolled my eyes. “No, don’t bother Sarah. Just… Fine. Whatever. Follow me to my door if it’s that important to you.”

“Good. I will.”

It was an awkward, quiet walk up to my apartment. Brandt stayed a step behind and to my right. Kind of like a bodyguard.

For some reason, I suddenly remembered what Colton had told me about the boy who’d been molested by his mother. It was strange to think of something like that happening to Brandt. And I knew I shouldn’t, but I was suddenly happy it hadn’t been Colton who’d gone through what Brandt had. Colton still carried the guilt of running away that night, but he had a strong constitution. He’d get through it. I was just beyond relieved he hadn’t had to experience it firsthand.

At my door, I paused and glanced back at Brandt, sending him a genuine smile. “Thank you. Even though it was completely unnecessary. I appreciate your concern.”

He looked hesitant to leave as he eyed my door uncertainly. I’ll admit, the entrance to my apartment had seen better days. It could probably be broken through easily.

“Do you want me to look around inside before I go?” he asked.

“No.” Oh, hell no! “I have two roommates who often have their boyfriends over. Don’t worry, there would be too many people inside for him to break in unnoticed.”

Brandt nodded, seemingly relieved, and took a step back. “Well, then…I have a wife to get home to. Goodnight, Juli.”

“Night.”

I stood at the partially opened door and watched him go. He really was a nice guy, but I realized then it never would’ve worked between us.

Back when I’d been Team Brandt, I had thought about him when he wasn’t around, but I hadn’t really obsessed about him in his absence, and most of all, there was no way I’d ever feel comfortable enough to bicker and hiss and be rude to him. I suddenly realized I appreciated that very much about Colton. Not only did I love to express myself openly with my man, but he seemed to relish it, too.

It just worked for us.

Wishing he were here now, asleep in my bed so I could just climb in and curl up with him, I stepped inside and shut and locked the door behind me. When I reached up to hang my keys from the hook, I noticed a note from both of my roommates on the small whiteboard above the key rack. Both of them had decided to stay the night at their boyfriends’ places. Which left me all alone in the apartment.

The hair on my arms instantly lifted in dread, and my neck prickled with unease.

I was alone in my apartment, right?

Dammit, I hated getting the creepy crawlies.

Remembering the anger and retribution that had glowed in Shaun’s gaze when he’d glared at me in the nightclub, I flipped on the big overhead light, no longer worried about waking roommates. Then I grabbed my keys again, clutching them in stabber-position, as I walked through each room, lighting them up as I went.

Shaun was not in my apartment.

Certain I was alone, I backtracked to my room and plopped down on my bed, exhausted yet wired from the adrenaline rush.

Lying on my back, I stared up at my ceiling a few seconds and craned my head just enough to see my favorite dream catcher dangling from the wall directly above me.

When I’d been little, my father had told me it would keep the bad dreams away. But for me, it had also seemed to help nurture the good dreams. All of them had inspired a kind of hope inside me, goals for the future, something to look forward to and wish upon. For the longest time, those dreams had been pride-driven. I’d wanted to aspire to something to be proud of like a successful businesswoman. I’d wanted a life I could look back upon when I was old and gray and know I had worked hard for and deserved what I had. Even when I’d met and married Shaun once upon a time, my dreams had been about what kind of image I wanted to project with him.

I think that was why it hadn’t worked with us—well, aside from his temper and unfaithfulness—but from my part, I hadn’t thought of him and me as a team working together. We’d been two people with totally separate lives and agendas apart from each other. It was like he’d been someone to help me fill the image I’d wanted.

Looking back now, I realized that was all it had been: an image, not some real-life corporeal bond. There’d been no substance, nothing to really grab on to and dig my fingers into in order to keep us together. Maybe it had all been my fault then that we hadn’t lasted because I had viewed our relationship wrong. Then again, it was probably best I hadn’t because the guy was an ass, and spending the rest of my life with him would’ve made me miserable.

Besides, there was Colton now.

Colton.

My stomach swirled with excitement just thinking about him.

I hadn’t been with him long, but I already knew him better than I’d ever known Shaun. And it felt as if he’d already become a part of me, like... I don’t even know. I had no idea how to explain it. I just…my entire way of thinking had changed since meeting him. He made me view life and myself in an entirely new way.

Heck, I’d caught myself earlier deliberating what I was going to do when I graduated, and it no longer involved immediately leaving Ellamore to find a job, make a success of myself and show the world I was worth something. Now I kind of wanted to hang around and see if I could find something nearby because this was where Colton was. I was happy and content with him and didn’t care so much if I showed the world anything spectacular. I liked being happy and content better.

It kind of scared me how quickly all this had come about, and yet it also settled something in me. It felt as if I’d finally found my home.

Missing him, I grabbed my phone and scrolled up through our text message history, grinning fondly over his wit and playfulness. When I came to the line that said, “I love you too,” I paused, my chest full and heavy with joy.

I hadn’t seen him yet since we’d exchanged those words, and suddenly that seemed wrong.

Before I even realized what I was doing, I typed:

And then I pressed send before rethinking my decision, though I immediately bit my lip afterward, feeling awful for bothering him at nearly three in the morning. Maybe it wouldn’t wake him, and he wouldn’t see it until sometime midmorning tomorrow. That would be fine.

But then my phone buzzed back and his reply lit up my screen.

And my heart leaped with a little thrill of excitement. He was coming over! I flew out of bed and hurried around the apartment, turning off most of the lights so it wouldn’t look as if I’d been scared out of my mind only minutes earlier.

When the knock came at my door, I yanked it open without even checking the peephole. I had a split-second pause, hoping it wasn’t Shaun before I opened it further and saw Colton yawning and scratching the side of his hair. The bruise around his eye from the night before looked bright purple and only added to his exhausted appearance.

“Colton,” I scolded. “You look beat, dammit. You didn’t have to get out of bed and come all the way over here. Why didn’t you just tell me no?”

“Because you’ve never asked me to come over in the middle of the night before.” He stepped inside, pulling me into a hug, before tugging me back and examining my face. “What’s going on?”

“I…” I opened my mouth to tell him everything, but then I paused. I didn’t want to worry him over Shaun, so I said, “I just wanted to be with you.” Which was also the truth.

His face relaxed with pleasure. “Then that’s what I’m here for.”

I took his hand and led him toward the hall. “So what did you do tonight? Work on more Vines?”

“Nah.” He rested his head on my shoulder as we approached my room. “Aspen had a good night, so I babysat while she and Noel went out for the evening. You smell really good. Like my Julianna.”

I smiled and ruffled his hair. He didn’t smell so bad himself. He smelled like my Colton. I tugged him into my room. “Thank goodness it was a good night for her. Do you think it’ll stick?”

“I do. When she got back, she spent time with both Beau and Lucy Olivia. Noel wouldn’t stop grinning. It was nice. And she and Caroline are going shopping in the morning with the kids.” He let go of my hand and went straight to my bed, flopping down face-first before he groaned in ecstasy. “Oh my God, has your bed always been this soft and comfortable?”

I grinned and sat next to his hip so I could smooth my hand up his leg. “Nope. I softened the mattress earlier today, just for you.”

Colton rolled onto his side to send me a haughty glance. “You’re being a smart-ass...at three in the morning.” He took my hand as his lips tipped into a grin. “That settles it; you’re definitely my soul mate.”

I glowed—freaking glowed—with giddiness. “You said it first,” I taunted.

He lifted a finger. “Uh…no. I believe that was you. You’re the one who gushed on and on over the phone about how much you loved me.”

I arched an eyebrow, ready to argue that one careless little declaration wasn’t even close to a gush. But then I came up with a totally different track that would catch him completely off guard. I tapped my chin thoughtfully. “Hmm, that’s true. I did say it first. That must mean I’m the smarter of us then for figuring it out before you did.”

His mouth opened and eyes flared, but he couldn’t seem to come up with a good argument for that. Finally, he sat up and retorted, “Well, I love you more.”

“Nope.” I shook my head, eager to win this argument. “Not even possible.”

Arching an eyebrow, Colton said, “Oh really? I bet you don’t love me this much.” Taking my hand, he placed it over the ESU sweatpants he was wearing, right between the legs. The length and hardness of his cock made a distinct ridge under the soft cloth.

Wow, he loved me quite a bit, definitely over eight inches worth.

Humming, I stroked him through his pants for a couple seconds, making him sigh out a breath and tip his head back as he closed his eyes.

Then I answered, “I may not love you that much. But I definitely love you this much.” Returning the favor, I grasped his wrist and urged it up my skirt so he could cup my panties and feel how soaked they were.

I may have had painful periods, but they never lasted long. So tonight, I was open for business.

“Damn, baby doll.” He groaned and massaged me before sweeping the crotch of my underwear aside and plunging two fingers inside me. I gripped his shoulders and rode his hand, greedily taking everything he had to give.

A second later, he mumbled, “Fuck, I need to taste this. Right now.”

He tumbled me onto my back and rucked my skirt up to my waist before he ripped off my panties and spiked his tongue into my pussy.

I arched under him, feeling that instant electrocution of pleasure. Gripping his hair, I held on to my man for dear life as he feasted, licking his way up to my clit and flicking it like the teasing bastard he was. As the pleasure mounted, I tensed, not ready for how powerfully or quickly I knew I was going to come.

“Don’t fight it,” Colton warned.

His tongue stopped teasing and went straight for the most sensitive nub of flesh.

I started to scowl, and would’ve argued that I wasn’t, but then I realized he could feel my muscles locking. Panting in an effort to just let it come, I purposely relaxed every limb, letting my knees fall open and spreading the backs of my arms across my sheets.

Colton chose that moment to spear me with two fingers and clamp his lips around my clit. I jolted and came, the rush of energy flowing through me like a freight train. I absorbed most of it but then had to grip my fingers around the sheets as the rest of it attacked.

Once the orgasm had consumed its fill, I slumped limply into my mattress, drained. Someone draw a chalk line around me, I was done.

But Colton sat up, grinning and suddenly very, very awake. Digging a condom from his wallet, he said, “I love it when you come. I don’t know why, but it feels like I win a victory every single time.”

I lifted an exhausted brow, trying to appear stern but probably failing, especially with my skirt around my waist and all my goods on display. “Have you been waging war on my pussy, young man?”

He laughed as he climbed off the bed and began to strip for me, revealing his perfect male form one piece of clothing at a time. “Not war, baby doll. It’s more like a peace treaty.”

Shaking my head, I argued, “What you just did didn’t feel very peaceful.” It’d felt out-of-this-world amazing, but not peaceful.

Grinning, he rolled the latex on and then crawled over me. “Oh, that was just the treaty’s after-party between new allies.” He sat upright on his knees over me, straddling my hips as he urged me to lift my arms so he could tug my top over my head. “You like being my ally, right, baby doll?”

I had no idea where he was going with this, and I kind of wondered if he did either, so I just smiled and nodded. “Sure.”

“That’s my lady,” he murmured approvingly as he finished stripping me bare, while I just lay there and watched him in total fascination. “We make a good team.”

He interlaced our fingers as he repositioned himself above me. “Just you and me against the world.” Pressing his forehead to mine, he pushed inside me, keeping eye contact the entire time. My inner muscles gripped him tight, receiving him eagerly, and we both spent a moment panting through the pleasure before he kissed me and began to move slowly, deeply, and so damn beautifully.

Our lips caressed and tongues stroked. His fingers played with mine while mine tangled with his. Our bare legs shifted past each other and abdomens pressed together. If I had a single body part that wasn’t intimately involved with some part of him, I wasn’t aware of it. I only knew that he was everywhere and it felt so completely right because this was where he belonged, where I belonged, where we belonged.

“I like being on your team,” I confessed, letting go of his hands so I could sink my fingers into his lush hair.

He kissed his way along my jaw and down my neck, then ran his palm from the base of my throat to between my breasts as if needing to stroke and touch every inch. “Best team ever,” he announced, lifting his gaze to look into my eyes. His jaw tensed and a trail of sweat slipped down his temple. Eyes clouded and teeth clenched, he was close.

I wanted him closer than close. I wanted him there, all the way over the edge. So I reached down and cupped his tight balls before running an index finger along his sensitive taint. Muttering his surprise, he surged tighter inside me, tipping his head down toward my shoulder and groaning as he tumbled into oblivion. The power of knowing I could bring him to this place was my own aphrodisiac. My pussy clenched around his cock, and I tumbled off into my own climax.

When we finished, Colton tried to climb off me but only got about halfway there before collapsing partly on top of me and face-first into my pillow.

“Mmph,” he muffled into the pillow while his heat and sweat clung to mine.

Feeling overly affectionate toward him, I stroked his back with my long nails, which only made him purr out another groan.

Minutes passed, and we lay there against each other, soaking in the quiet aftermath of our peace treaty party. Finally, Colton turned his face to the side, until he was facing my neck and his cheek was propped onto my shoulder.

“I’ve been thinking,” he announced, his voice clogged with sleep, “and I don’t believe your dad will freak out about me.”

Surprised he’d been thinking about that at all, I kissed his forehead and gave his arm a supportive stroke. “Why’s that?”

“Because…” He set his elbow on the mattress and lifted his face so he could prop his chin in his hand and study me. “You’re not like that, and he raised you, right? So he can’t be too bad. I think you’re worrying about nothing.”

He made a point. My father had raised me to be fair and tolerant. It would make sense that he shouldn’t have a huge problem with Colton. But I’d also heard him make some comments that still made me wonder, not entirely certain.

I paused my hand on his arm, studying the two shades of our skin against each other. I thought it looked beautiful, and when it came down to it, it wouldn’t matter what Dad thought. I’d deal with whatever reaction he had because I wasn’t going to stop seeing Colton no matter what.

“I have something for you,” I announced, suddenly remembering the present I’d made for him and not really wanting to think about all that other junk.

Colton lifted his eyebrows, curious. “What’s that?”

“Here.” I squirmed out from under him. “It’s on my dresser.” When he scooted back enough to let me crawl over him and reach for it, I flushed, suddenly wishing I’d wrapped it or something. It felt lame to give him a present without any kind of garnish.

“It’s just…” Strangely shy, I thrust it at him. “Sorry, it’s not much. Just…silly.”

He took the small silver dream catcher keychain along with a new bottle of breath spray and held it up to watch the tiny feathers dangle from the loom with what looked like awe on his face.

“And look.” I twisted the bottle so he could read the new label I’d printed out and stuck to it.

“Colton’s monster repellent,” he read before throwing back his head and laughing. “Holy shit.” Curling his fingers around the tiny bottle, he held it to his chest. “I love this. Thank you.”

He found his keys and made a production of removing his old, empty bottle of breath spray so he could attach the new one along with the dream catcher so they dangled with his rabbit’s foot. “Perfect,” he announced.

When he looked at me, I flushed, feeling strange. “I got me one too,” I blurted, even more embarrassed.

Cocking his head, he asked, “A dream catcher keychain?”

I nodded. “And breath spray and a rabbit’s foot.” I crawled off my bed. “Wait right here.” I raced naked from my room and hurried to the front door to snatch my keys from the key rack. When I hurried back in, Colton chuckled at me and reached out to help me back onto the bed, calling me a streaker.

Ignoring his tease, I held up my keys to show him the matching dream catcher and bottle of breath spray along with my very own rabbit’s foot. “See.”

“Holy shit,” he murmured, slowly reaching out so he could examine everything better. Then he lifted his gaze and announced, “We’re a matching set.”

COLTON’S CHAPTER | 28

The ringing of a cell phone on the nightstand about a foot from my head woke me from a pleasant dream. Needing to shut it up as soon as possible, I blindly swiped out my hand and captured the bleating device. Somehow I was able to slide my thumb across the front and answer it without cracking open a single eye.

“’‘Lo,” I croaked.

A beat of silence followed before a hesitant voice asked, “Colton?”

Brandt.

“Yeah. What d’you want?” I mumbled, yawning as I tried to get my brain to function.

“I, uh.” He emitted an uneasy laugh that had me finally opening my eyes. Then he said, “Nothing. I mean, I wasn’t trying to call you. Sorry, I must’ve misdialed.”

With a grateful groan, I slurred, “Good.” Now I didn’t have to think and come up with a rational response to whatever he wanted. “I’m going back to bed.”

Clicking off the call, I started to put the phone back on the nightstand when I realized it had a completely different cover than my phone. I blinked at it a moment before determining it was a different size than my phone too.

Finally, I said, “This isn’t my phone.”

“What?”

I jumped. Next to me, the sheets rustled and I lifted my face to spot a dark arm creeping out from under white blankets. Those were not my blankets, and this was not my bed.

A second later, Julianna’s face appeared above the sheets, her head covered with that scarf thing and its adorable top knot. She blinked bleary eyes and yawned. “What’s wrong? Who was on the phone?”

I stared at her a moment before saying, “It was Brandt.”

She didn’t seem surprised or particularly guilty about that fact. After another hearty yawn, she wiped a hand over her face and said, “Okay. What’d he want?”

“I don’t know,” I told her. “He didn’t call me.”

“Huh?” She dropped her hand, blinking at me as if I made no sense.

I waved the phone I was still holding. “He didn’t call me,” I repeated. “He called this phone. This isn’t my phone.” Her gaze dropped to the phone in my hand, and her mouth promptly fell open as shock filled her face.

So I slowly asked, “Why was my brother calling your phone?”

“I…” She shook her head immediately as her gaze darted beseechingly to me. “I have no idea. It has to be something work related.” When I just stared at her without responding, she insisted, “It has to be.”

The phone in my hand started to ring again. We both gazed at it as if it had grown ears and a tail. I didn’t have to look at the screen to see Brandt’s name. Setting my jaw, I extended Julianna’s phone to her. She reared back, gaping at me as if I were handing her a poisonous snake.

“Your phone,” I offered in a dry voice.

She sighed and took it from my hand, wincing when she saw the name on the screen. “He probably just wants me to take on a shift or something for him,” she explained as she crawled off the bed and turned her back to me so she could answer the call.

“Hello?”

I crossed my arms over my chest and watched her as she paced a few steps away and listened a moment before answering, “Yeah, it’s fine. No problems at all. Really, you don’t have to worry. It’s all good.” She glanced over her shoulder at me before turning away again and more quietly saying yes and no answers before blurting, “Look, I gotta go. I swear, everything is fine. We’ll talk later.” And then she hung up on him.

It took her a few seconds, but when she turned back to me, she was already wincing.

Seeing my expression, she let out a breath and said, “Don’t look at me like that, please don’t look at me like that. It’s not like that. I swear to you, whatever you’re thinking, it’s not like that.”

I shrugged. “What am I thinking?”

I wasn’t so sure myself. My chest felt oddly hollow and my heartbeat felt hard and slow, but other than that, I just…I wasn’t sure. I just knew my girlfriend had gotten a call from my brother, my brother she used to have a major crush on, my brother whose call had just prompted her to leave the bed with me and turn her back for privacy.

Striding toward me, she crawled onto the mattress and right into my lap until she was cupping my face in her hands. “Stop thinking something is there that isn’t,” she demanded softly. “You know better. I’m with you, and I want to be with you. And you should know him better too. He’s crazy about Sarah. I’m crazy about you. There is nothing to worry about.”

I heard her words and they made sense, but a part of me still fucking worried. “So he was just calling about work?” I had to ask…because I was being a stupid, insecure fucker and I couldn’t help myself.

Julianna paused dramatically as if she’d already been caught in a lie before she’d even answered me. Then slowly, she said, “No. Not really. I mean, something happened at work last night, and he wanted to talk about that, so technically—”

She was totally fucking keeping something from me. “What happened at work?”

With a groan, her shoulders collapsed. Then she sent me a small rebellious scowl before reluctantly mumbling, “Shaun showed up.”

“Shaun?” My eyebrows lifted. I wasn’t expecting that answer. “Ex-husband, Shaun, with the violent temper?”

Julianna nodded. “Yes. He...” She glanced away, clearly uncomfortable. “Well, I guess he knows about us…” Her eyes slashed to me. “You and me. And he wasn’t very happy about it.”

There was more. I could tell from the look on her face. “What did he do?”

“Nothing,” she immediately answered. When I narrowed my eyes, she lifted her hands. “I swear. He grabbed my wrist and—”

“He grabbed your wrist?” I caught her arm and immediately slid her wrist into my palm so I could examine it.

“See,” she offered, holding out both of them and turning them for my full examination. “He didn’t even leave a mark. Brandt caught him getting handsy and ran him off. The whole thing lasted ten, fifteen seconds, tops. No big deal.”

“No big deal?” I demanded, my mouth falling open. “The guy is stalking you enough to know who you’re seeing. We haven’t exactly made a big production of our relationship, you know. He’s got to be keeping close tabs on you.”

She rolled her eyes. “Or he heard about it from Theo, Tyla’s boyfriend. I think they’re friends.”

“I don’t care how he learned. He had no right to approach you about it and put his hands on you. You two are fucking over, and he’s not letting it go. He’s going to be a problem.”

When she started to sigh, I narrowed my eyes. “He’s going to be a serious problem, Julianna. Don’t brush this off as nothing. What he’s doing are beginning signs. It only gets worse from here. You need to report this.”

She squirmed on my lap, clearly uncomfortable. “Really, I don’t think it’s that bad. He wants us to get back together, not kill me. And he’s not too energetic about reconnecting with me either because he only comes around when he’s between women. I seriously think his attention will peter out completely over time.”

I only shook my head. “I don’t. He hasn’t stopped yet, so I doubt he’s going to. I’ve had you, I know how addictive you are.” Growling out my frustration, I gripped my hair. “Thank God you called me over. I don’t want you being home alone while he’s fucking stalking you.”

“Oh my God, Colton. It’s not that bad. I swear to you.” But I remembered her face the first night I’d stayed on her couch and he’d come knocking. A strong independent woman like her who’d hated me at the time had allowed me to sleep over. She knew just as much as I did that Shaun’s behavior was wrong.

“You should’ve called me from work,” I told her, “I would’ve come and followed you home.” When she cringed over that, I studied her more intently. “What?”

She let out a breath before glancing away and mumbling, “Brandt followed me home.”

I couldn’t control the instinctive jealousy that ripped through me. My brother had been there for her when I hadn’t.

I hated that.

But I nodded like the big, mature boy I was supposed to be. “Well…good. He better have walked you to your door and checked out your apartment too.”

“He walked me to my door,” she confessed, “but I wouldn’t let him inside.” Her brown eyes were worried and watchful as she studied my face.

I nodded again and repeated, “Good.” Feeling distinctly uncomfortable, I glanced around the room and cleared my throat. “We should probably put some clothes on. I’m sure the police department frowns upon naked people showing up and trying to file reports with them.”

Her lips parted before she shook her head. “Wait. What? Why would we go to the police department? We’re not going to the police department.”

“Yes, we are.” I stood and reached for my pants. “We’re getting a restraining order against your fucking ex.”

“What? No. No, we’re not. Why would we do that?”

I glanced at her before yanking up my sweats. “This is going to stop, baby doll. It’s going to stop today.”

She just stared at me. “Don’t you think that’s kind of drastic? And what would we even tell them? That he came and glared at me and told me he was very upset with my decisions lately? The police would laugh me out of their precinct.”

“He grabbed your arm,” I reminded her.

She was already shaking her head. “And it didn’t even leave a bruise. I don’t want to go to the police, Colton. Seriously. It seems so unnecessary.”

I paused after tugging on my shirt. Then I stepped to the edge of the bed and took her hands until she looked up into my eyes. “Your safety is more than necessary to me. Don’t ever say it’s not. Now, tell me why you really don’t want to do this. Are you afraid it’ll piss him off and he’ll come at you harder?”

“No.” Her eyes grew big with disbelief. “I think it’d freak him out and scare him off for good.”

I smiled. “Good. That’s exactly what we want. So let’s do it.” But the uncertainty in her eyes made me frown. “That is what we want, right?” I said slowly. “I mean, you want him to stop harassing you, don’t you? Don’t tell me you secretly like it and want to get back together with him.”

Shit. Maybe I’d been reading everything wrong, and Shaun’s stalking was some kind of kinky sex game to them, kind of like the way she and I got off on bickering.

She sent me an irritated frown. “Of course I want him to stop.”

“Are you sure?” I said slowly.

She slapped my arm. “Yes! I just…dammit.” She scowled at me harder before mumbling under her breath and admitting, “It’s fucking embarrassing. I don’t want to tell my personal business to a bunch of complete strangers only for them to look at me as if I’m some kind of drama queen making a big deal out of nothing.”

Oh Jesus. My girl and her issues with keeping up appearances. It irritated the hell out of me, and yet made me love her even more.

I sat next to her on the mattress and pulled her into a hug. “He’s been hounding you for almost two years, baby doll. Do you want him to stop or not?”

“Yes,” she admitted against my chest. “But—”

“There’s no buts about it. What everyone else thinks is their problem. The police will do their job regardless. I just want you to be happy and not worry about some dumbass and his inability to let go.”

She blew out a long breath and waited a second before finally looking up to catch my gaze. Then she murmured, “Okay.”

“Okay?” I repeated in surprise, straightening. “Really? You’ll actually go with me?”

Damn, that had been easier than I’d thought.

She rolled her eyes and shoved lightly at my arm. “I’m stubborn, not completely impossible.”

“You’re completely beautiful,” I corrected, then made her laugh when I tackled her onto the bed and began kissing her neck in an exaggerated manner.

She squirmed under me and screamed out a laugh before attacking me back, racing her hands up my arms and clutching my hair before kissing me full on the mouth and spiking her tongue deep between my teeth.

My hand was clutching her full, lush breast, my tongue tangling with hers before I realized what I was doing, but I managed to tear myself away and pant a few times before muttering, “Dammit, stop trying to seduce me out of my idea. We’re going to the police station. Right now.”

Her eyes twinkled as she grinned up at me. “You’re the one who kissed me first.”

“Well, if you hadn’t been sitting there looking all hot and delectable, I would’ve been able to resist you.” I gave her breast one last affectionate squeeze, then licked the nipple before climbing off her. “Now get dressed before I can’t help myself again.”

She lifted her eyebrows, looking amused and yet very unamused. “Did you just give me an order, boy?”

I could play this two different ways. I could smart mouth her some more, going way overboard with it on purpose. But I already knew how that would end. She’d take up my frisky challenge and order me around right back until we were arguing hot and heavy into sex again.

Okay, so I liked that option. I liked it a lot. In fact—

Wait, no. Her safety was top priority. No sex until after we’d been to the police.

So I went with option two and demurely fluttered my lashes, begging, “Pretty please, baby doll, will you get dressed now?”

She snorted, not buying that act either. But at least she climbed off the bed. My pecker took note of how nice she looked naked, and he got pretty pissed at me for not choosing option one, but I promised him later, and he calmed down some.

It took her nearly fifteen minutes to primp. I knew she was still worried what they were going to think of her report because of how much attention she put into how she looked, and then she went for a gray, white, and black ensemble. But I didn’t say anything about it. She was actually going to do this, so I was going to be satisfied with what I got.

I took her hand and squeezed her fingers encouragingly when she announced she was finally ready. We walked from her room side-by-side and down the hall through the front room to her door. I waited as she pulled her purse and coat from their hooks. Then I retook her hand and opened the door, only to find myself face-to-face with my brother.

COLTON’S CHAPTER | 29

Brandt dropped his hand where he’d had it raised to knock. His gaze settled on me before he said, “I knew I hadn’t called the wrong number.”

I shrugged. “You know, you could’ve just checked the call history on your phone instead of coming all the way over here to figure that out, right?”

He narrowed his eyes at my smart-ass reply. “What the fuck are you doing here, Colton?” Then he dropped his gaze to where my hand was linked with Julianna’s, and his eyes bulged with disbelief.

She tightened her grip on me. I wasn’t sure if she was nervous or trying to be supportive. But I did know she wasn’t ashamed of being caught by him with me, which was all I needed to know.

So I blinked at my brother and shot back just as accusingly, “What the fuck are you doing here? You’re the married one of us two.”

He shot me a grow-up look and muttered, “I’m trying to figure out why you were answering Juli’s phone first thing in the morning.”

“Well, I was asleep,” I replied in the most logical way I could. “And this annoying ring kept pestering me, so I answered it because I was closest to it. I didn’t even realize it wasn’t my phone until after we hung up.”

He blinked at me blankly for a moment before he blew. “What the fuck, Colton? You and Julianna?”

When a door across the hall from us creaked open, Julianna waved Brandt forward. “Maybe we should talk about this inside,” she said in a hushed voice.

When Brandt merely transferred his stunned gaze to her, I sighed and grabbed his arm, yanking him into the apartment.

Juli quickly shut the door behind him.

In a daze, Brandt gaped between us before sputtering, “Since when?”

“Uh…” I glanced Juli’s way, not sure how to calculate that. I’d wanted her since the moment I’d met her, damn near a year ago. Or maybe we should go from the night of his wedding when we’d nearly hooked up. Probably shouldn’t measure from the night I’d slept on her couch; we hadn’t exactly been the best of friends then. I guessed we could start counting from the first time we’d had sex, but that didn’t seem like the starting place at all.

But when Juli quietly answered, “A couple weeks,” I nodded in support. Sounded good enough to me.

“You...” He pointed a finger threateningly at me. “You lied to me, you little asshole.”

“Me?” I pressed a hand to my chest, my eyebrows rising. “I never lied to you. When did I lie to you?”

“Last week or so,” he explained. “I texted you after hearing a rumor from Ten and specifically asked you if you were seeing a new girl.”

“Mmhmm.” I nodded, remembering that text. “And how did I answer?”

Brandt sighed and rolled his eyes. “Something stupid like you sit next to them all the time in your home economics class.”

I grinned, still loving that line. “I was quoting Forrest Gump.”

Brandt’s scowl turned dry as he set his hands on his hips. “And then you said the only thing you hadn’t been seeing were ghosts.”

My grin widened, and I had to glance at Julianna before adding, “A Sixth Sense reference.”

She groaned. “Dear God, you’re an annoying pest to everyone, aren’t you?” But there was a smile playing around her lips and amusement in her eyes.

“Everyone,” I murmured before returning my attention to my brother. “And my texts answering that question were clearly a diversionary tactic if I ever heard one. You’re the dumbass for not catching on.”

Eyes narrowing, Brandt grit out, “Thanks, little brother. You’re the one who lied to me, and I’m the dumbass?” Then he pierced a probing, stern glance toward Juli. “And you.”

I swear she sank closer to me. Then her throat worked as she swallowed her dread. “Me?” she whispered.

“I thought we were friends,” he charged softly, hurt and betrayal coating his expression and making her grip on my hand tighten. Then he tightened the screw on the guilt trip he was winding into her by adding, “Confidantes.”

But instead of making her blurt out an aggrieved apology, she narrowed her eyes. “Confidantes?” she repeated in a low, hard voice. “Confidantes? If I was such a confidante to you, why didn’t you come to me with your worries when you thought I was still into you? I would’ve been open and honest and told you that wasn’t the case. But no…you sent your little brother over to distract me at your own wedding? That doesn’t seem very confidante-like to me.”

Brandt’s mouth fell open before he sniffed. “I’m sorry, but the way you were staring at me that night said you weren’t over shit. So excuse me for loving my wife and wanting to be faithful to her. I—wait.” He shifted his gaze suspiciously between us before he whirled to me. “You told her about that?”

I winced, unable to answer. But my non-answer made Brandt’s face clear as if he’d just figured something out. Pointing between us, he asked, “So…curious question. Did you tell her about that before or after she first slept with you?”

My mouth opened, but it took me a second to remember the answer.

Brandt started nodding as if he already knew, though. “Uh huh,” he murmured. “I’m guessing you told right before the first time. I bet learning I pushed you at her pissed her off so much she thought she’d get her revenge against me by fucking my susceptible little brother.”

I blinked, never having even thought up that notion before.

Next to me, Julianna huffed out a sound of outrage. “Wow,” she muttered. “That’s quite an insulting theory.”

My brain kicked back into gear, and I nodded. “Hell yes, it is,” I agreed, as I took a step closer to Brandt. “To both of us. Do you think I’m so stupid I would really fall for such an awful scheme, or do you really think she couldn’t possibly like me for me?”

Brandt straightened and sent me a look as if he couldn’t believe I’d apply either label to his thought process. “I think you need to find someone who does like you for you,” he murmured, “someone who loves you without a doubt. That’s what I think.”

“I don’t have any doubts,” I told him, staring him straight in the eye, when okay, sometimes I did, like twenty seconds ago when he’d come up with that idea, or twenty minutes earlier when he’d called her phone, or that day on campus, when I learned they talked—like talked—at work together.

But she’d told me she loved me, dammit.

Then again, she’d also told me she loved Brandt the night of his wedding.

Jesus, I hated doubts.

My brother quirked a brow as if he knew I was lying. But I continued to stare at him steadily.

So he whirled toward Julianna, pointing threateningly. “Stay the fuck away from my brother.”

Her lips parted in shock. I stepped in front of her, glaring him down. “Don’t fucking talk to her like that.”

“And you.” He pointed a finger at my nose next. “You’re done with this. With her. With this whole…whatever you two are doing. You’re done. No more.”

I laughed in his face. “Yeah, you don’t tell me who I can and cannot date. Sorry, bro.”

“When it’s my leftovers you’re sniffing around, I sure the fuck can.”

“Leftovers?” Juli and I cried in unison.

“As if,” I added. “You didn’t even finish a single date with her.”

“Yeah. Are you sure that’s all that ever happened between us?” he asked in the most taunting voice I’d ever heard him use.

“Hey!” Juli nudged me aside so she could get into Brandt’s face and glare. “Stop putting ideas in his head.” Turning to me, she stared beseechingly into my eyes. “Yes, half a date is all that ever happened between us. He’s being an ass.”

I swiveled my gaze to my brother. He stared at me a quarter of a second before folding.

“Okay, fine, dammit,” he admitted. “That half a date was it. But I still considered it. You cannot date someone I considered. It’s weird, so…you two…done.”

“No.” I shook my head. “No, we’re not.”

“Colton,” he muttered, gritting his teeth. “Stop being such a stubborn little shit. You owe me.”

As my face drained of color, Julianna gasped. “You fucking prick,” she started in a low, calm rage. I glanced at her, worried she was pissed at me. But her glare was solely for Brandt. She shoved him hard in the chest.

He stumbled a step away from her, his mouth falling open with obvious shock.

“He doesn’t owe you shit,” she growled, making him blink and shake his head. But she kept advancing, getting right in his face. “He was eight fucking years old. You can’t hold him accountable for that. If you want to blame someone, go talk to your goddamn mother. Not Colton.”

My mouth fell open. But seriously, what the hell?

Brandt gaped at her too before looking at me and saying, “What the fuck is she talking about?”

“I…I don’t…” I turned my gaze to Julianna, right about the time her eyes grew wide and she slapped her hands over her mouth.

“Oh my God, I’m sorry.” The muffled words came through her fingers as she begged me with big brown eyes to forgive her.

Finally, Brandt rasped, “Did you tell her?”

“What? No!” I stared at him earnestly, hoping he believed me, before turning back to Julianna, and trying to figure out how she knew.

“I guessed,” she admitted, creeping her hands away from her mouth long enough to confess.

I shook my head, unable to believe it. But how…? “Holy shit,” I whispered. Brandt was never going to forgive me for this. “I didn’t…” I started insistently, turning back to him, but he just held up his hands before turning away and leaving the apartment.

I stepped after him to chase him down and convince him I hadn’t been telling anyone what had happened to him, but Julianna grabbed my arm.

“Colton, oh my God. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t…I didn’t mean to—”

“How did you know?”

“I…” She shook her head. “I figured it out.”

I shook my head. “How?”

“Because you said the night of his wedding that your mom had caused your nightmares, but then the night you told me about the boy you saw molested, you said that had caused them, so I just put the pieces together. And Brandt is five years older than you, which made sense—”

“Holy shit,” I uttered, slapping my hands to my face. “Holy shit. I didn’t realize I’d told you so much. Oh, fuck. He’s never going to forgive me. I need to…dammit, I need to talk to him.”

I started for the door again, but Julianna’s small voice stopped me. “Colton?” was all she said.

When I glanced back, the worry on her face had me turning to her fully. “Jesus, baby doll. Don’t worry. It’ll be okay.”

She gripped my wrists when I cupped her cheeks in my hands. “You didn’t believe him, did you? That I’m only with you because of him?”

“Of course I know that.” I pressed our foreheads together. “I didn’t believe him.” I sent her a smile, hoping she’d smile back. But she still looked worried. So I sighed and lamented, “I guess your crush on him is really over.”

Her lips trembled into a smile. “Baby, I’ve been over him since the moment you walked into the Forbidden Nightclub and flirted with me. I just didn’t realize it until you offered to be my consolation prize.”

“Damn.” My chest heaved with emotion. Hoping for something to be true was a hell of a lot different than hearing it said aloud straight from the source. I decided I liked hearing it straight from the source so much better.

My relief made Julianna squint. “You weren’t really worried about that, were you?”

I shrugged, not really able to lie. “There might have been some occasions where I thought I was the only one feeling it. I gotta admit, it’s not cool wondering if you’re falling hopelessly for a woman who might still be hung up on your brother.”

“Colton David Gamble.” She tsked and shook her head with reproach. “How in God’s name could you ever think I could ever focus on anyone else whenever you’re in the room?”

“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “I’m used to coming in second place.”

“Not with me you don’t,” she said seriously.

“God, I love you,” I admitted just before my mouth sank against hers.

She clutched two fistfuls of my hair and kissed me back. But I think she could taste the desperation and worry on my lips because she pulled away to say, “Okay, I know you want to chase after him. Go ahead. And tell him I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have shoved his traumatic experience in his face like that.”

“Okay,” I answered breathlessly. “Will do. And thank you for defending me, by the way. Hottest thing ever.” I touched her cheek one last time before flying out the door.

Brandt was long gone by the time I reached the parking lot. So I hurried to my truck and climbed behind the wheel. I drove to his place first. But Sarah, who answered the door, reported he wasn’t home. Curious as to what was going on because he’d blown out of there without telling her anything, she made me stick around long enough to explain what had happened.

“He went to your house,” she decided, knowing her husband’s mind better than anyone. “Probably trying to convince Noel to side with him.”

I rolled my eyes. That did sound about right. “Thanks, Sarah,” I started, only to pause and cock her a glance. “What’re your thoughts about the whole thing? Do you not like me being with Juli?”

“Oh, I think it’s great,” she exploded with a big grin. “I’ve always liked her. I just didn’t like her with Brandt. But if you and she click, then I’m more than happy for you.”

I kissed her on the forehead. “We click,” I said. We clicked perfectly if I did say so myself.

She swatted at my hip. “Then go convince my husband of that.”

I nodded and raced out the door.

Brandt’s truck sat at the curb when I reached home. The Tennings’ SUV sat right behind it. Great. Caroline’s crew was still here.

I rolled my eyes. Let the family drama begin.

Brandt was railing at Noel as soon as I stepped through the back door.

“I’m telling you, you need to put a stop to this. Those two don’t belong together.”

Noel gave an uneasy laugh and lifted his hands. “What exactly do you expect me to do? Ground him? He’s a legal adult now. Besides, why can’t he see whoever the fuck he wants?”

Brandt gurgled out an incredulous sound. “You sure as fuck didn’t feel that way when you found out Caroline and Ten were hooking up when she was eighteen.”

“He has a point,” Ten said, surprising me because I hadn’t seen him sitting on the kitchen counter with his feet swinging as he ate…what the fuck was he eating? String cheese?

Neither of my sisters or their children were present. At least it was just us guys I had to deal with.

Noel was slicing Ten a dry glance before he turned back to Brandt. “Well, I’d like to think I learned a lesson from that, just like you should have. If Colton and this girl are happy together and she treats him right, I don’t see a problem with it.”

“Thank you,” I told my older brother, which made Brandt spin around and nail me with a glare.

I eyed him levelly, not sure how to approach this. I wanted to apologize for unintentionally letting the cat out of the bag to Julianna about his past, but I wasn’t fucking backing down about seeing her. It was too late for that shit, even if I was desperate to do anything to get him to forgive me.

“I’m sorry you don’t approve of me being with Julianna,” I said slowly. “But I’m not going to stop. Not even for you.”

He opened his mouth to probably argue, but Ten lifted his string cheese.

“Wait. Did you say Julianna? Holy shit, you scored the hot bartender, Rihanna? Dude! Nice work. How the fuck did a pathetic fuck stick like you catch something that classy?”

“He didn’t,” Brandt muttered dryly. “She fucking settled for him or is using him or something to get close to me. I’m the one she wants.”

That declaration kind of set me off. “Will you stop?” I charged at him and I pushed him full in the chest with both hands, making him stumble backward. “She doesn’t want revenge against you. And she did not settle for me because I’m the one she really wants.”

“I don’t know what she did to make you believe that, but—”

“She made me fall in love with her,” I roared. “And she fell in love with me. Now back the fuck down before I put you down.”

“Hey,” Noel boomed, lifting an arm between us to keep us from coming to blows.

But Brandt pushed his arm down and stepped toward me, eyes narrowed. “What is wrong with you? You don’t love her. She doesn’t love you. You were at my wedding reception, weren’t you? You saw the way she stared at me.”

Yeah, and I’d seen the way she’d looked at me an hour later with my dick in her hand right after I’d made her come. But we weren’t going there right now.

“Oh, Jesus,” I told my brother instead, as I rolled my eyes. “You really need to get off your high horse. I don’t think there’s room for anyone else in here with your ego that damn big.”

Brandt poked me, he fucking poked me right in the nipple. Fucker. “I’m telling you, she’s using you.”

“You say that again,” I warned from between clenched teeth, getting in his face. “And I’ll punch your fucking lights out.”

He snorted. “I’d like to see you try.”

So I did. I’d never hit him before. But we were brothers, so I guess it was about time.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” both Ten and Noel cried as they surged between us. Ten skidded in front of me just as I swung. And yep, I hit the wrong person. It hurt my hand like a son of a bitch, too. My knuckles were already tender from fighting with the drunk douche a couple nights before, but shit, Ten had one boney fucking cheek.

“Mother…fucker!” he bellowed, clutching his face, as he paced away and bent at the waist. “I dropped my damn cheese.”

Noel sighed as he opened the freezer and dragged out a bag of frozen peas before flinging it at Ten. Catching the bag against his chest, Ten lifted the pouch to his eye, hissed a curse, and whined, “Get me some more cheese too.”

Noel got him another stick of string cheese. When Ten was satisfied, he turned to Brandt and me. “Okay. Continue.”

But the urge to keep fighting had dissipated.

Noel shook his head and set his hands on his hips before eyeing Brandt. “I don’t understand why you’re so upset about this.”

“Because...” Brandt grumbled, shooting me a glare. “She’s going to hurt him when he finally stops being a dumbass and realizes her true agenda, and it’s going to be my fault because I brought her into our lives.”

“Oh, that’s bullshit,” I sneered. “This doesn’t have anything to do with Juli, so why don’t you admit what’s really going on?”

Brandt paused, looking confused. Then he scratched his head and said, “That is what I thought was really going in. What the hell do you think’s going on?”

“You don’t want me to be happy because you’re still upset about the...about what happened...with Mom. Because I didn’t help you.”

His mouth opened. But no words came. Finally, he shook his head and sputtered, “What? That’s not...Jesus, Colton, I told you I didn’t blame you for anything. I never blamed you or resented you or whatever you think I’m doing. Why would I? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Because...” I stared at him, confused. He honestly seemed perplexed over why I’d feel that way. I shook my head too. “You said I owed you.”

“Huh?” He gaped at me as if I were insane.

“At the wedding reception,” I hissed. “To get me to go talk to Julianna, you said I owed you one. And then you said it again not half an hour ago at her place.”

He barked out an incredulous sound. “I was talking about the alcohol, you dumbass. You owed me because I wasn’t going to tell Noel you’d drunk more than your one-glass limit he’d said you could have at my wedding.”

“You drank over your one-glass limit?” Noel broke in.

I ignored him and stared at Brandt. “So, you weren’t talking about—”

“No.” Brandt sighed and scrubbed his face. “Fuck, no, you little idiot.”

“Oh,” I said lamely.

He shook his head and sighed. “I haven’t even thought about that shit since the big reveal that won me Sarah. Well, aside from half an hour ago when Juli brought it up. I can’t believe you fucking told her.”

“I didn’t tell her,” I insisted, glancing toward Noel and Ten, who were watching us avidly. “I mean, I told her some things here and there. I had no idea I’d told her enough that she’d figure it out. I would never do that to you.”

“Jesus, you really are a dumbass.” Reaching out, Brandt clasped his hand around the back of my neck before tugging me forward until our foreheads pressed together. “I’m going to say this once, and one time only. Stop worrying about that. It’s over. I’m over it. The family’s over it. You should be over it. You were eight fucking years old. If I’d known you had seen what you saw, I wouldn’t have blamed you then, and I don’t blame you now. The only thing that pissed me off was when you finally did spill the beans to everyone, but that ended up better for me anyway because it landed me Sarah, so I’m over that too. You’re not the one who did anything wrong. She is. So get over it. Right now.”

I nodded but dropped my gaze, still feeling guilty.

A second later, I looked up. “Then why are you this bent out of shape about Juli?” I had thought he’d turn his nose up at our relationship and wonder what her ulterior motives were, then try to convince me of what they were, but I hadn’t imagined he’d be quite this gung ho against it. “You don’t still want her for yourself, do you?”

“What? No!” He smacked me on the side of my head. “Get that shit out of your head right now.”

I dodged my face away from him in case he swung again. “Then what’s your deal?” I demanded.

“I told you, you idiot. It’s suspicious. I don’t trust how she switched her attention from me to you like she did. I can’t trust it. And any time I think some woman might be screwing over my little brother, I’m going to try to stop it. Besides…” He shuddered. “I imagined what it’d be like to fuck her. Now, to learn that you have…it’s fucking strange.”

“Well,” I said slowly. “If you ever had any kind of faith in me, believe me now when I say I know she’s over you. She isn’t using me. I swear it on everything I’ve ever believed. She loves me.”

Brandt frowned at me a moment before giving me a reluctant nod and mumbling, “If you say so.”

I grinned and slapped his arm. “And hell…if it makes you feel any better, I’ve imagined what it’d be like to sex up Sarah.”

Brandt narrowed his eyes. “Don’t be an ass.”

“What?” I cried, shrugging. “It’s true.”

“I’ve always wondered about Shakespeare myself,” Ten announced, making Noel nail him with a sharp glare.

“What have you wondered about me?” Aspen said as she opened the back door. She entered the kitchen, lugging a baby carrier with Lucy Olivia nestled inside. And behind her filed Beau, Teagan and then Caroline.

Ten’s eyes flared wide as she sent him a pleasantly innocent yet curious glance. Together, he and Noel answered, “Nothing.”

“Must be about sex, then,” Caroline decided as she tossed an armful of shopping bags onto the table. Then she set her hands on her hips as she eyed her husband and three brothers. “Your eye is red,” she decided, focusing on Ten before she scrutinized the rest of us. “You got punched again. What happened?”

Noel, Ten, Brandt, and I exchanged a silent glance, not sure what to share with them.

Finally, Brandt sighed and announced, “Colton has a new girlfriend.”

And I knew he’d accept it despite whether he was okay with it or not.

JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 30

I was pacing my living room and waiting for word back from Colton about how things had gone with his brother—who was not my favorite person at the moment—when Tyla blew into the apartment, crying hysterically.

She slammed the door behind her and started to storm toward the hallway but shrieked when she saw me lurking nearby.

“Oh my God, JuJu.” She pressed her hand to her heart. “You scared the shit out of me. What’re you doing here?”

“I live here,” I said slowly before reaching out to catch her arm. “Are you okay?”

“No,” she wailed, burying the heels of her palms into her eye sockets. “I did it. I broke up with him. I told him to go shove it where the sun didn’t shine. Oh my God, JuJu. What am I going to do?”

“Well, first you’re going to sit down,” I told her gently as I took her arm and led her toward the couch. “Then you’re going to drink the cup of hot tea I make you and you’ll tell me all about it.”

“Okay.” She bobbed her head and mopped at her eyes as she plopped onto the couch. “Okay.”

I petted her shoulder once and then hurried into the kitchen, texting Sasha as I went.

She wrote back moments later with:

My hands shook as I rushed through heating water and yanking a mug from the cupboards before fetching a tea bag. When I reentered the living room, carrying a steaming cup, Tyla was lying stretched out on the couch with her cheek smashed to the cushions as she stared blankly across the room.

“Hey, honey,” I cooed sympathetically. “I have your tea.”

I sat by her hip, and she sniffed, wiped her face, and scooted upright, drawing her knees up toward her chest before she croaked, “Thank you.” She reached for the mug with both hands.

I brushed a stray tear from her cheek and smiled sadly as she sipped.

After her first long gulp, she closed her eyes and exhaled, seemingly comforted. “Damn, that really does hit the spot. I always thought you were whack every time you drank this stuff when you were stressed.”

I arched an eyebrow. “Well, now you know.”

“Mmm.” She took another drink, and I watched her silently, not pressing for information, just making sure she remained calm. I wasn’t going to tell her I’d never been a fan of Theo’s, especially lately, or that I truly thought she was better off without him. She’d figure all that out later. I just wanted to get her as comfortable as possible.

But I did have to know… “You didn’t dump him because of what he said about me, did you?” While that would warm my heart, I could deal with his nastiness if she was truly happy with him.

“No. He was cheating on me,” she admitted before she took another fortifying drink. “I finally grew the balls to ask him about it, and…oh my God, JuJu, he actually admitted it. He said he loved me and wanted me to stay his girl, but every once in a while he just needed a little bit of strange to spice things up.”

My mouth dropped open. “He said that?”

“Yes.” She rolled her eyes and mumbled, “Word for word.”

“And he still has a penis?” I had to know, lifting my eyebrows incredulously.

She snorted and cracked a smile. “A bruised one, but yeah. Barely.”

“Oh my God!” My mouth dropped open. “Did you really rack him?”

Her smile grew a little more, even as she ducked her face. “I did.”

I hooted. “Yes! Girl, you are my hero. Way to go, Ty.” I pulled her into a big, encompassing hug, and she ended up resting her head on my shoulder.

“But what am I going to do now? I can’t be alone.”

She said alone as if it were a dirty, nasty thing. “Honey,” I scolded, pulling back. “You’re not alone. You always have us. And there isn’t anything wrong with being without a man. You don’t need some dick to define you. You are spectacular in your own right. Men are only good for…”

My rant trailed off as I thought of Colton. A few months earlier, I would’ve said something about guys only being good for sex and eye candy, but what I’d started with him was so much more than any of that.

Tyla cocked her head, waiting for my answer, so I smiled and patted her bent knee. “They’re good for making a team, but you have to be strong and individual in your own right so you can carry your weight of the partnership too. And he has to be working toward the same goal as you, with you. There’s nothing wrong with going it on your own, but there is something wrong with partnering up with someone who has their own agenda.”

Tyla sniffed and shook her head. “That wasn’t what I thought you were going to say at all.”

“I know,” I answered. “Me neither.”

“Right,” she said slowly. “So can we start man-bashing now?”

I chuckled. “Sure.”

Just then, the door burst open, and Sasha rushed inside, followed by Chad.

Tyla glanced past Sasha and instantly narrowed her eyes. “No dicks allowed. Motherfucking cheating asshole sons of bitches.”

Chad froze in the doorway, his eyes going wide. Pointing toward the hallway, he said to his girlfriend, “Yeah…I’ll just be in your room,” and he darted as fast as he could go past the couch.

We watched him disappear before Sasha turned back to Tyla and promptly pulled her into a hug. “Baby, I am so sorry. Tell Sash all about it.”

So Tyla proceeded to detail everything again, tears sprouting from her eyes. Sasha and I listened and answered when we needed to, and she seemed to have calmed significantly when a knock came on our door.

“Oh, God,” Tyla groaned, burying her face in Sasha’s shoulder. “If that’s him, I don’t want to talk to him.”

“I’ve got this,” I announced, pushing to my feet and straightening my shoulders. “Let’s see how bruised Igloo Pussy can make his balls.”

“Kick him once for me too,” Sasha commanded.

I nodded and didn’t even check the peephole before jerking the door open and setting my facial features to fuck-off. I totally wasn’t expecting it to be Colton.

He started with a cringe. “Sorry, I took off on you, but if you’re still ready to go to the…” His words trailed off as he took in my expression. “What’s wrong?”

I stepped into the hall with him and pulled the door mostly closed behind me as I said, “Right now isn’t a good time. Tyla just broke up with her boyfriend. He cheated on her. She’s a freaking mess.”

“She broke up with him? Just now?” he asked, pointing his finger down between us as his eyebrows arched with concern. When I nodded, he asked, “Is she here?”

After my second nod, he murmured, “Poor thing,” and brushed past me to enter the apartment.

It took him a split second to take in the sight of Sasha and Tyla on the couch before he tsked sympathetically. “That fucking dick,” he announced. “Why would anyone cheat on you?”

He strode to Tyla and stole my spot on the couch next to her so he could pull her into a hug.

At first, she seemed to tense against him, staring at him as if he were insane. But then he said, “Men can be such assholes,” and she nodded in agreement.

“They really can,” she sniffed before cuddling closer to him and closing her eyes.

Colton met my gaze over her shoulder as he began to rub her back. “Where’s the rest of that chocolate I got you?”

My cheeks heated as I pinched my lips together. “Um…Sasha, Tyla, and I ate it all the other night.”

“You…” His eyes widened. “All of it?”

I cleared my throat and shifted uncomfortably. There’d been three women gossiping. Of course we’d devoured it all. Geesh.

“Doesn’t matter.” He waved an unconcerned hand. “Alcohol’s probably better right now anyway.” With another significant glance my way, he added, “And isn’t it just lucky we have a bartender in our company.”

When Sasha and Tyla glanced my way as well, I realized they all really did want me to whip them up some drinks. “Oh!” I said, still stunned Colton had metaphorically just rolled up his sleeves and dived into the mess of a freshly single woman. “Right. I’ll get on that.”

I hurried into the kitchen, shaking my head, and wondering if I’d ever get used to all the sides of Colton Gamble. He really was an enigma. Just when you thought the guy was an open book and you had him figured out, he turned the page.

Without thinking what I was doing, I started in on my drink-making experiment. It was almost habit these days; I wanted to come up with my own alcoholic drink so bad I’d been determined to concoct the perfect brew.

When Colton came up behind me, I’d just finished my first try.

I glanced over my shoulder. “How’s she doing?”

He shrugged. “Shitty.” Then he wrapped his arms around my waist before setting his chin on my shoulder to watch as I took a sip of the first batch.

Only to gag and spit half of it back into my glass. “Oh God, that’s disgusting.”

“What’re you making?” he asked curiously.

“Nothing. I don’t know. I’ve been trying to come up with some new, awesome drink mix that’s all my own, and they always—and I mean always—suck.”

“I thought that was something you only did with Brandt when you guys were working together.”

I glanced back at him, my eyebrows raised in surprise. “No. I mean, sure, he’s helped me try to come up with something. But I honestly do it all the time, with or without him.”

“So it wasn’t something special between you two? Good to know.” Colton slipped the cup from my hand, gingerly took a sip, and winced. “God…damn,” he uttered, scraping his tongue against the top of his teeth as if desperate to get the taste off. Then he snagged a napkin and literally tried wiping the flavor away. “What the hell was in that shit?”

I pouted, a little hurt he couldn’t even pretend to like my creation. But then my shoulders sagged. “Honestly, I don’t even remember. But I’ve tried every mix imaginable, and they either end up already existing, or they suck…bad.”

“Oh, baby doll,” he murmured sympathetically. “No, no, no. You’re going about this all wrong. Here.” He turned me around, gripped my hips and propped me up on the kitchen counter facing him.

I liked where this was going.

“First of all, we’re dumping this.” He overturned my glass, letting the rest of the contents spill out into the sink. I sent up a quick prayer that it didn’t cause any kind of toxic, glowy green gas in the sewers and morph baby turtles into human-sized ninjas or anything.

No, wait. That would be cool. But, damn, that had already been done too. Pooh.

“Now…” Colton set his hands on my thighs, the heat from his palms feeling delicious as it soaked through my yoga pants. “Close your eyes.”

Really, really liking where this was going, I did, tipping my face up, you know, just in case he wanted to do something to that area with, say, his lips, maybe.

His breath wafted across my cheek, and my body stirred.

“Drain your mind,” he instructed, his voice husky and low.

Instead of draining, my mind filled…every sense overflowing with nothing but him.

Preferring this to a drained mind, I tightened my lips and said, “Okay.”

He chuckled as if he knew exactly what I wanted him to do but wanted to tease me first. “Think of every favorite flavor you have. Food, drink, whatever. Then mix them together and imagine them combined in a single beverage.”

I opened my eyes and met his curious brown gaze. “So you’re saying I should chop you up into pieces and put you in a drink? That’s kind of sadistic, don’t you think?”

“Ah, baby doll.” Sweeping in, he kissed me, his hands confident and warm as they ran down my back and clutched my ass. “You sure know how to make me feel loved.”

“You are,” I assured him. “Completely.” Wanting to thank him for the kindness he’d just paid my friend, I buried my fingers in his hair and tugged him forward, nipping at his mouth, then kissing him deeply.

“Oh, hell no!” Sasha squawked, screeching to a stop as she entered the kitchen. “Jesus, Juli. No sex on the kitchen counters, ’kay?”

Mortified, I buried my face in Colton’s shirt and muffled out a wincing, “Sorry.”

“I was just inspiring her to create a really awesome drink,” Colton answered, making Sasha snicker and back out of the kitchen.

“Well, then. I’ll leave you to it. Just hurry it up. Ty’s getting restless.”

I pushed Colton back so I could slide off the counters. He backed away, taking my hands as I landed on my feet. “I need to get back to this alcohol-making duty someone assigned me to.”

He winked and kissed my forehead. “I’ll stop inspiring you, then.”

And he strolled back out of the kitchen. I watched his ass in his jeans until he disappeared, soaking up the last bit of inspiration I could before, wham, an idea really did hit me.

Chocolate-covered strawberries were my favorite thing on earth. I hurried to pull a carton of strawberries from the refrigerator, then chocolate syrup, and some whipped topping. Raiding the cabinets, I found some rum and Kahlua and put my mixer to work.

A minute later, I was carrying a tray full of three drinks into the living room, where Chad had crept out of hiding and was sitting in the chair farthest away from the couch where Tyla was. She remained curled up between Sasha and Colton, who had an arm draped around her shoulders.

“The alcohol is here!” I announced, grinning brightly.

Sasha and Tyla immediately took their glasses, and when Colton reached for the third, I sent him an arch look and half pulled away. “That one’s mine. You’re not twenty-one, remember?”

He glanced at me and then winked. “I just want a taste.”

I sighed but stopped pulling back to allow him to claim the glass. As he took his first sip, I held my breath and bit my lip. He looked up at me and lifted his eyebrows. “Mmm. This shit is good.” His next drink was more of a gulp.

“It really is, JuJu,” Tyla announced while a busy-drinking Sasha could only nod and hold out a thumbs-up.

Curious because I’d been too afraid to try it, I reached for Colton’s glass. “I want to try it.”

But he held up an arm to block me. “Hell no. This one’s mine now. Go make your own.”

I paused to raise my eyebrows. “What did you just say to me?”

Eyes sparkling with mischief, he stuck out his tongue and slowly lapped his way up the outside of the glass. “I licked it. It’s mine.”

When Sasha and Chad and Tyla all burst out laughing, I gasped. “Why you…” I dove at him, making him shout out his surprise and quickly set the drink on an end table before either of us spilled it.

I pounced onto his lap and tried to reach past him, but he cried, “No!” and laughed, slinging an arm around my waist to hold me back.

“Give me my goddamn drink, you jerk,” I muttered, struggling against him and yet unable to stop laughing either.

“Jerk, huh?” He lifted his eyebrows through his grin. “That’s definitely not going to get you your drink back. Actually, I think that’s grounds for this.”

And the bastard proceeded to tickle me.

“Oh my God, no!” I squealed, struggling against him and giggling uncontrollably. “No! Stop. Stop! Oh my God, wait. You’re going to jostle my ovaries.”

He immediately stopped before he realized I was making fun of him by repeating his own words back to him from when I’d had my period.

A second later, he narrowed his eyes. “Ooh, you smart-ass. I’m going to get you even more for that.” And he advanced slowly, his fingers spread and curled into mock claws.

“Girl, please do not tell me you have a bun in the oven,” Tyla demanded. “Are you fucking pregnant?”

JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 31

Colton straightened with surprise. “Wait, what?” His eyes went wide and scared as they darted between me and Tyla. “Pregnant?”

I blinked at my roommate, utterly confused. “Yeah…what?” I asked Tyla.

“Well…” She blinked at me, clearly confused. “You said something about jostling your ovaries.”

I glanced toward Colton. He glanced back at me. And we both burst out laughing.

Tears were streaming down my face and Colton still couldn’t calm down enough to help me explain our inside joke when Tyla finally lifted her hands, and said, “Never mind. I don’t want to know. You and your happy new relationship is making me ill.”

“No, wait.” I dove at her, grabbing her arm. “I’m sorry. We’ll stop. I’ll behave, I swear.”

“Yeah, I won’t touch her for the rest of the night,” Colton promised, right before sending me a big wink and then scooting me off his lap. Then he turned all his attention to Tyla. “This is your night. We’ll do whatever you want to do.”

“Whatever I want?” she asked, her gaze lighting with appreciation as she looked at my man. I began to narrow my eyes, wondering what the heck she was going to suggest he do with her, when she said, “Theo never let me play Super Mario with him.”

Colton’s eyebrows lifted with surprise. “You want to play Super Mario? Hell, I would love to play Super Mario with you. Anyone else in?”

“Ooh, me!” Chad said, immediately rising from his seat and coming closer so he could squeeze onto the couch at the end, next to Sasha. “I’ll play.”

I smiled at them as they began to set up that game.

“I guess I’ll go make another drink for myself,” I announced.

Chad, who’d been sipping from Sasha’s glass, lifted his hand. “Make me one too. This shit rocks, Juli.”

I beamed, proud of my concoction. “You got it.”

“I’ll help you,” Sasha announced as she popped to her feet and followed me into the kitchen, only to yank on my arm as soon as we were alone. “Oh my God, I could just kiss your Colton right now. Did you see the way he totally cheered her up?” She sighed and pressed her hand to her heart. “Girl, if you don’t end up married to that one, I might.”

I snickered and bumped my shoulder against hers, knowing she was joking. “Back off, bitch. He’s mine.”

With a laugh, she helped recreate my masterpiece, but a knock on the front door interrupted us.

“Babe, can you get that?” Chad called. “We just started.”

Sasha’s hands were covered in strawberry guts where she was busy cutting off stems, so I set my hand on her shoulder. “I’ve got it.”

Cracking my neck and once again preparing for a confrontation with Theo, I hurried back into the front room and made sure to cross behind the television so I didn’t block the screen from the three playing Super Mario so intensely on the couch.

When I pulled the door open again, however, I was once again surprised.

The man on the other side of the door spread his arms open wide with a big grin. “Surprise!”

My jaw sagged. “Dad? What…what’re you doing here?”

“What? Like I need a reason to visit my Juli Bug?” He walked past me into the apartment before I could invite him inside, shedding his gloves and trench coat as he went.

I opened my mouth to say something along the lines of not having any warning, but he stopped dead, staring at the sofa where Tyla, Colton, and Chad sat in a line, each of them frantically operating the Nintendo controls in their hands with their gazes fixed on the television. A second later, Colton shouted his triumph as he sprang to his feet, while Chad and Tyla on either side of him cried out their dismay and flung down their controls, disgusted.

Colton was still grinning over his win—or whatever he’d done to best the other two—when he caught sight of me standing slightly behind my father as Dad stood stonily staring at him with his coat folded over one arm.

I could tell the moment Colton realized who he was. His grin faltered and he darted a quick glance at me before pushing another smile onto his face, this one a little bit leery.

“Hey,” he said, sounding completely polite and welcoming.

Dad’s glower intensified before he glanced at me. “Is he the one Shaun told me about, then? The boy you’ve been seeing behind my back?”

“Oh…shit,” I heard Chad’s quiet curse. A second later, he and Tyla scrambled past Colton to escape the room and hustle into the kitchen, making excuses about things they had to do.

Five seconds later, only Colton, my dad and I remained.

Colton made the first move. “Hey, um, hi.” When my father veered his hard stare back to Colton, Colton winced but cleared his throat and kept striding forward. His black and blue eye suddenly stood out horribly. “You must be Juli’s dad. I’m Colton. It’s nice to meet you.” He respectfully held out his hand, but of course, my dad only narrowed his eyes.

Colton slowed to a stop and shifted his attention to me, his gaze clearly asking me what I wanted him to do.

Unable to leave him hanging like that, I moved to his side and took his hand—the same one my father had refused to shake—and squeezed his fingers as we faced my dad together. “I don’t know what Shaun told you, or thinks he knows about me, but yes, this is my boyfriend, Colton. I wasn’t hiding him or doing anything behind your back.”

He arched an eyebrow. “Oh, weren’t you?”

I lifted my chin. “No. I wasn’t.” Okay, maybe just a little, but I wasn’t going to tell him that.

“Well…I forbid it.”

“Wait, what?” Colton shook his head. “Just like that? Don’t you even want to quiz me first, find out how totally awesome I am, check out my teeth? Something?”

My dad sent me a dry glance. “I don’t like him. He’s disrespectful.”

Colton gulped audibly and sank closer to me. I lifted our entwined hands to my chest and scowled stubbornly at my father.

“Is this the only reason you came all the way up here? Because you heard I was dating a white boy?”

Dad’s jaw tensed at that. “This relationship, or whatever it is you two have going on, is over. The color of his skin has nothing to do with it.”

Yeah, right. I snorted. “How can you say that? You don’t even know him.”

“Little girl,” he boomed. “Do you really think I came all this way without checking him out first? The kid came from the poorest neighborhood in Pennsylvania. He’s trash who grew up in a trailer house with his three siblings, who all had different fathers, by the way. And his mother was a drunk, drug-addicted crack whore, who had sex with men for her next hit.”

When Colton flinched, I stepped closer to him. “He can’t help who his parents were, Dad. That was a low blow. Did your research lead you to the fact he hasn’t lived with his mom since he was eight and he went on to graduate as the second smartest student in his high school class?”

“Sure, but he enrolled into college with his degree as undecided. He has no plans whatsoever for the future. Hell no one’s ever even turned in a W2 for him, meaning he doesn’t have a job either.”

I was about to argue that he made a very lucrative career out of making Vines—where I’m guessing his sister took care of the money matters—but my father would probably turn his nose up at that too and call it frivolous and irrelevant or something.

“You’re not being fair,” I muttered. “He’s only eighteen. What do you expect, he’ll have a complete resume on hand, with a detailed blueprint planned for the rest of his life?”

“And he’s only eighteen years old!” My father jabbed out his arm as if making a point. “Which is four years too young for you. Child, what are you thinking?”

“Actually, uh, it’s three years and four months,” Colton said. All this time, he hadn’t said one word in defense of himself. But he spoke up now? For that?

My father and I both turned to look at him as if he were insane. He just shrugged. “Well, it sounds better than straight-up four.”

Dad shook his head and focused on me. “He’s not one of us. He will never respect you.”

“Respect me?” I barked out a laugh and set my hand against my throat. “Colton has done nothing but respect me, something I can’t say for Shaun.” That tattletaling sack of shit. “And he’s always made me feel like I fit into his life. It breaks my heart that you don’t even want to give him a chance. And I hate not having your approval, but honestly, Dad, this isn’t your decision to make. I am with Colton now, whether you like it or not.”

Clearly, the man did not. He narrowed his eyes and pointed at my nose.

“You are to stop this nonsense right now, young lady, or I will take you back home with me tonight. Is that clear?”

I stared at him a moment before sighing. “No.” I shook my head. “That is not clear at all. I’m twenty-one years old. You can’t order me to do anything.”

“Is that so?” He glanced around the living room of my apartment before declaring, “I pay for this apartment, Julianna. I pay for your college. Your car. Your phone. Do you want me to keep providing for you or not?”

My mouth fell open and the air whooshed from my lungs. “Are you giving me an ultimatum?”

My father and I had a brief stare off before he slowly began to nod. “Yes, I guess that’s what I’m doing.”

I swallowed, feeling as if he’d just pummeled me in the chest because the breath left my body.

Colton was the first to react, even though he’d experienced a moment of frozen shock too. “Dude, what?” he exploded. “You would cut off her money for college? Why would you do that? I mean, I could totally see it if she was like some wealthy heiress or something and you said you’d cut off her trust fund as a way to drive me away, like testing to see if I was a fortune hunter or something. But messing with her education doesn’t affect me at all. It only hurts her.” He spun to me, incredulous. “What the fuck? I thought you said he was a good dad.”

Before I could answer, Dad grabbed Colton’s arm and spun him around so they were face-to-face.

“Look here, boy. You have no right to stand there and question my parenting skills. Until you have raised a little girl all by yourself since she was six years old with no one in the world but you responsible for her, you have no right to tell me how to do my job. I know my Julianna. And I know how to protect her.”

“Yeah, no. No, you don’t,” Colton said, shaking his head. “I think you forgot one little detail when you were raising her up right to be a strong, independent, intelligent woman. She actually became a fucking strong, independent, intelligent woman. She doesn’t need you to support her. If she wanted to, she could still do everything she’s doing now without you. It may take her longer and put more stress on her, but she’d get that shit done. So all you’re really doing right now is cutting yourself out of her life because of your own issues. You’re hurting her by making it damn clear you don’t trust or support the decisions she’s made. You’re…you’re just being a fucking prick right now.”

“Colton,” I said softly and touched his arm to calm him down.

He huffed out a breath and tore his glare from my father. When his gaze met mine, his shoulders slumped. “Well, he is,” he muttered.

“My ultimatum stands,” Dad stated, gazing between us. “I’ll give you twenty-four hours to make your final decision.” Then he strode out of the apartment, leaving a wake of silent shock behind him.

I looked at Colton.

He blew out a breath, fell onto the couch and finally lifted his gaze to me. Something punched me hard in the center of the chest, and I realized it was doom. What was worse, I could see the same doom reflected on his face.

“Wow,” he rasped. I swear his voice was shaking with nerves. It scared me.

It scared me because it meant he was as rattled by all this as I was.

Shoving his hand through his hair, he gave a quiet, non-amused laugh and shook his head. “He really doesn’t want us to be together, does he?”

Fear trickled through my arms, chilling them. I hugged myself, seeking warmth. Seeking comfort. “No,” I murmured. “It doesn’t seem that way.”

I’d never seen Colton’s brown eyes look so sad before. “Baby doll, I don’t want your dad to punish you and threaten your education because of me.”

“Well, I don’t want members of your family to hate you because of me,” I countered.

He rolled his eyes. “They don’t hate me. Brandt and I talked. He’s going to be cool, I swear.”

When I widened my gaze pointedly, he sighed. “Okay, he’s not thrilled, but he’ll get over it. He’s my brother. At the end of the day, he loves me. Always.”

“Well, he doesn’t love me,” I groused. “And I have to say, it’s not awesome that he disapproved of us the way he did.”

Colton’s jaw ticked, but he didn’t refute my claim. “Yeah,” he muttered right before he lifted his hands. “You know, this is stupid.” He surged to his feet but didn’t really go anywhere. “It’s just fucking stupid. We might be young, but we’re still both adults. Why does everyone think they can tell us what we can and cannot do together?”

“I don’t know.” I moved toward him and grasped two handfuls of the front of his shirt. When I looked up into his eyes, he sighed and cupped my cheek in his hand.

“The only thing that matters is what we want. And I want you. So it comes down to what you want, baby doll.” He arched a single eyebrow. “Do you want to drop me like a dirty rag or not?”

“No,” I whispered, leaning forward to press my face to his collarbone. “Never.”

“Good.” He wrapped his hand around the back of my neck and held me against him. After resting his cheek against mine, he straightened and cleared his throat. “You know, I could afford both your and my college tuition.”

I jerked back to gape up at him, my mouth falling open. I’d had no idea he made that much from his Vines. But then I shook my head, getting past that and focusing on his suggestion. “Colton, don’t be ridiculous. You’re not paying for my college.”

“Why not? You’re giving up that money and more for me; it’s the least I can do.”

“Just…” I patted his chest and then touched his cheek, honored he even offered. “I’ll figure something out.”

“Yeah, I didn’t figure you’d accept.” He blew out a long breath. “I guess that means there’s just one thing for me to do.”

“What do you mean?” I looked up into his face, almost dreading the answer even as I asked for it. “What are you going to do, Colton?”

He shrugged. “I’m going to talk to your dad and convince him to approve of our relationship so you can keep going to college with his help.”

I stepped back. “No. What? No, that’s an awful idea.”

“No, it isn’t. Why is it a bad idea?” He looked kind of insulted by my insistence.

I pointed toward the door where my dad had just left. “You just tried to talk to him, and it only made things worse.”

“Hey.” He grasped my shoulders. “Will you trust me? I’m the king of bullshit, remember?”

“Except my father sees right through bullshit,” I growled.

“So do you, but I won you over, didn’t I?” Pressing a kiss to my forehead, he murmured, “I can win him over too.”

“How?” I asked incredulously.

He shrugged. “Easy. The most important thing in his life is you, right? I just have to make him see you’re the most important thing in my life too. I can do that.”

I blew out a breath. Yes, he could. Colton had turned out to be the best person I knew. “Okay, you’re right,” I murmured, hugging him hard. “You can do anything you set your mind to. I trust you.”

He blinked at me suspiciously. “You do? Well, of course you do. I’m awesome. But, wait. You agreed with me too easily. What’s the catch?”

I smiled and kissed his cheek. “No catch. I love you and trust you. That’s all.” But inside, I had already started to think up a way to convince my dad to give Colton a chance too. And that’s what I really trusted. Us working together through teamwork.

COLTON’S CHAPTER | 32

I stayed with Julianna until morning, and I swear we held each other a little tighter all night long as if we both feared someone was going to barge into her room and physically tear us apart, namely her dad.

After her alarm went off, we knew we needed to get up and prepare for a day full of classes, but we didn’t want to move just yet. We lay there, staring up at her ceiling as we remained wrapped around each other in our safe little cocoon.

“Is it bad that I want to hunt down your ex and kick the shit out of him for telling your dad?” I asked.

She huffed out a laugh. “Honey, get in line. I would love nothing more than to punch him in the throat right about now.”

“I can’t believe he and your dad still talk. I mean, your dad knows why you divorced him, right?”

When Julianna swallowed audibly, I looked at her. “Julianna?”

With a sigh, she closed her eyes. “I just told him I felt like I was too young to be married at that time, which was also true. So, he still kind of thinks Shaun and I will get back together again someday.”

“What?” I sat up, outraged. “Why didn’t you tell him everything?”

“Because…” She cringed and then glared at me for pressing the issue. “Shaun insisted it was an accident, and it very well could have been. I didn’t want to falsely accuse him of anything.”

“That’s bullshit. You know it wasn’t an accident just as much as I do. He’s still keeping tabs on you, and he grabbed your arm, baby doll. Your instincts are not off. He’s violent. And what the hell, anyway? Why didn’t you tell your dad about the infidelity? Surely that would’ve made him never want to talk to his precious Shaun again.”

“I don’t know.” She shook her head, looking weary. “I was too embarrassed. I thought I should’ve done something better to keep his interest only on me.”

I took her chin and looked her straight in the eye. “You can’t get better than perfection. He fucked up, it’s that simple.”

She gave a flustered smile and rolled her eyes before kissing my lips and patting my chest. “Thank you, but…it still knocked down my confidence a couple sizes. And besides, he really wants that job with my dad after he graduates. I didn’t want him to lose his chance at his dream future just because I didn’t like him anymore. That seemed…awful of me.”

I blinked at her. “Jesus, you really are a bleeding heart softie under that tough shell, aren’t you?”

She rolled her eyes. “Am not.”

She was. And I loved that about her too. Grinning, I said, “Too bad your dad doesn’t have the same soft spot.”

As my smile dropped to worry, Julianna pressed her forehead to mine. “Baby, look at me.”

When I did, she smiled. “Don’t worry so much about him, okay? You and I are a team, remember. We can get through this together.”

I paused. She was absolutely right. So why was I worrying? We had this in the bag.

Relaxing, I laced our fingers together and squeezed her hand warmly. “I love you,” I said, not sure what I’d do without her.

Her grin turned playful. “Not as much as I love you.”

I laughed and kissed her full on the mouth before saying, “Not even possible.”

Her free hand crept between us and headed down. I liked where this was going and quirked an interested eyebrow, just as someone knocked on her bedroom door.

“JuJu?” Tyla called. “Can I borrow your black ankle boots?”

I met Julianna’s gaze and her shoulders fell as she removed her hand from my pants. “Yes,” she called back, quietly groaning and dropping her face to my shoulder. “Just a second.”

Dammit. With a sigh, I rolled my eyes toward the ceiling to control my hormones. “Rain check?” I guessed.

Juli stroked a couple fingers down my cheek. “Yes, I’m sorry. Tyla deserves some extra attention this morning. We kind of crashed her break-up party last night when my dad showed up.”

“Right.” I exhaled a bolstering breath. “To be continued, then.” I needed to get going to shower and change at home, anyway.

“Don’t worry, baby, I’ll see you soon enough again in philosophy class.” And then she proceeded to give me a very nice kiss goodbye.

When I made it home and slipped inside the back door, the smell of bacon greeted me. Instantly alert, I lifted my nose toward the source only to find Aspen at the stove, flipping fried eggs.

I stopped and stared at her, unable to move in fear she’d stop cooking if I did something wrong. I hadn’t seen her cook anything in nearly three months.

She grinned at me. “Good morning. Have you eaten breakfast yet? I can put some more bacon and eggs on for you.”

Oh, hell yes, please.

“Okay,” I said. “That’d be great. Thank you.”

Beau sat at the table, happily swinging his feet as he drank from a glass of orange juice. “Mama’s cooking breakfast,” he announced.

“So I see.” Pointing toward the opening of the hall, I said, “I’m just going to jump into the shower real quick. Be right back.”

“Okay,” Aspen answered, smiling congenially over her shoulder at me.

I touched her back as I passed, thanking her for…well, everything. Then I ruffled Beau’s hair and hurried from the room until I reached the nursery where I found Noel changing Lucy O’s diaper.

“Aspen’s making breakfast,” I told him, curious if he was aware of this phenomenon. She’d gone shopping yesterday with Caroline and the kids, and today she was cooking. It was almost like she was the Aspen of before.

“Shh,” he hissed meaningfully at me. “Don’t jinx it.”

I grinned as I crossed my arms over my chest before resting my back against the doorframe. “She’s really been improving lately, huh?”

My brother lifted his daughter into his arms and held her against his chest as he turned to me, his eyes full of hope and joy. “Yeah, she has. She’s been amazing. She actually asked to keep the kiddos home from the sitter today so she could watch them but…”

When he hesitated uncertainly, I nodded. “Yeah, a couple more days to let her adjust without them will be good for her.”

His shoulders relaxed as if he’d needed to hear my support to know he’d made the right decision. “I just…I’m almost afraid to believe it, but I think our Aspen might really be coming back to us.”

“About damn time,” I murmured approvingly.

He nodded. “Hell yeah.”

When Aspen called that breakfast was ready, Noel and I separated so he could go eat and I could take my shower.

Within the hour, I was clean and changed and fed and ready to start the day, feeling upbeat and positive about everything ahead of me.

With Aspen getting better, it seemed like anything was possible, like maybe I could even convince Julianna’s dad to not just approve of me being with her, but maybe even like me too.

I sped through my first class, sipping from my favorite nicked-from-Julianna to-go mug, and grew eager as I walked to philosophy the next hour, ready to see her.

Reaching the lecture hall before she did, I found a seat with plenty of open spots around it to save one for her, but she still hadn’t arrived by the time Dr. Taris showed up and began to drone on about how the thoughts of some dead guy from over a thousand years ago were relevant in today’s culture.

I glanced at the time. Geesh, Tyla must’ve been particularly needy this morning. Poor woman. By the time fifteen minutes had passed and Julianna still hadn’t arrived to class, I decided that she’d taken off for a friend-pampering day.

So I shot her a text, simply typing:

I hoped she’d at least message something back because even a few words on a screen from her were better than nothing.

Yeah, I was that far gone. Pull out the switch; I was whipped.

Once class let out, I tried to call her but the call rang through until her voice mail picked up. Frowning, I shoved my phone back into my pocket just as it rang.

“About time,” I announced, relieved she was calling back, only to realize it wasn’t Julianna. It was from home.

Instantly worried about Aspen, I answered immediately.

“Um…Colton,” she said, her voice hesitant and confused. “There are two police officers here who want to talk to you.”

“What?” I slowed to a stop in the middle of the sidewalk just outside my history building. “Why?”

“I don’t…” I could almost hear Aspen shaking her head with her own confusion. “They said it had to do with Julianna, but that was all they’d disclose.”

Julianna? I shook my head too, utterly bewildered. What the hell was going on?

“Umm…do you have a class right now, or could you meet them at the police station for some questions?”

Questions?

Now I was really fucking lost.

Unless this was about something her father was trying to accuse me of, but I couldn’t think of a single reason he’d have to sic the police on me.

“I’ll meet them at the station,” I said. I did have a class, but it didn’t seem as important as this. If this was about Julianna, I was finding out what was going on, right now.

“I’ll meet you there,” Aspen answered.

“You don’t—” I started, automatically wanting to protect her after how delicate she’d been lately. But then I realized she sounded alert and like her usual self, and I had no idea what I was walking into. I could do with a family member at my side. So I finished with, “Thank you.”

As soon as I hung up, I tried to call Juli again. “Baby doll,” I said into her voice mail. “What the fuck is going on? I’m being called to the police station, and all I know is that it has something to do with you. Please call me back as abso-fucking-lutely soon as you can so I know you’re all right. Okay? Okay, thanks. Love you. Bye.”

But when I hung up, my stomach knotted with tension. Why wasn’t she answering her phone? Maybe this didn’t have anything to do with her dad trying to frame some crime on me. Maybe something was wrong.

Shit, something suddenly felt really, really wrong.

My truck was parked nearly on the other side of campus. I was out of breath from jogging by the time I reached it. I didn’t pause to catch more air, though, just jumped in and revved the engine. I knew where the police station was located, but I’d never been inside before. I didn’t even know where I was supposed to park. So I pulled to a stop in the first available spot that didn’t have any kind of reserved marking on it, and I strode toward the front door.

Aspen was waiting just outside for me in a skirt suit, her purse strapped over her shoulder as she nervously played with her wedding ring. When she saw me, she darted forward and took both my hands.

“The officers we need to talk to are Detective Hall and Wilson.”

I nodded. “Did they tell you anything else about what this is about? Is Juli okay?”

“I don’t…” She shook her head and winced. “I don’t know, and they didn’t say.”

“Okay.” I blew out a breath and clamped my fingers around hers before we entered the building together.

Spread out in front of us was an open floor plan, full of desks and people mingling around, printers printing reports, men and women talking. It wasn’t quite what I’d always expected. It seemed like a normal office workspace with the occasional person wearing a uniform. To the right in an almost alcove kind of corner was a waiting-reception area where I saw Tyla, Sasha, and Chad sitting.

Tyla wept into her hands, her chest heaving from the force of her sobs, and Sasha was draped across her boyfriend with her face buried in his chest as he stroked her back soothingly.

Ice-cold fear shot through my veins. “What…?” was all I managed to say before my voice went hoarse.

“Colton!” Tyla surged to her feet, rushing to me and clutching my arm. “Oh my God. We wanted to call you but didn’t know your number. Please say you know where she is.”

I shook my head. “What?” My attention went to Chad and Sasha. “What the hell is going on? Where’s Juli?”

Tyla merely stared at me as if I’d just broken her heart, and Sasha began to weep harder into her boyfriend’s chest.

“Where’s Julianna?” I repeated with more force. “What the fuck happened? Is she okay?”

“Colton Gamble?” a voice asked from behind me.

I whirled around to find two officers approaching along with Juli’s dad, who looked pissed, pissed at me.

“Yes,” I said, stepping forward. “Where’s Juli? What’s going on? Is she okay?”

The officers didn’t answer but exchanged meaningful glances. I had no idea what that meant, but it pissed me off that no one was answering. “Hello?” I reminded them I was there. “Will someone tell me Julianna’s okay?”

No one did.

My stomach filled with dread. The worst, painful, most frightening dread ever.

“If you’d just step into an interview room with us, Mr. Gamble. We’d like to ask you a few questions.”

My gaze went to Juli’s father, who wouldn’t stop staring at me as if he wanted to rip out my spine with his bare hands. I returned my attention to the officers.

“Yeah, okay,” I said. “Whatever.” If this got me answers, of course I’d go with them.

I started to follow them, Aspen tight at my side.

But they paused when they realized she was tagging along.

“Ma’am,” they told her as if ordering her to let me go. I tightened my grip on her fingers.

She tightened hers on mine right back. “I’m his legal guardian,” she said, letting them known she wasn’t about to leave my side without a fight.

Surprise filled Detective Wilson’s face. “You’re under eighteen?”

I shook my head. “I am eighteen.”

“Oh.” He sent my sister-in-law a regretful wince. “You’ll have to wait out here, ma’am.”

She looked up at me, and I knew she didn’t want to leave me alone with them. I kind of wanted her by my side too, but if doing this alone got me answers sooner as to where Julianna was, I’d do whatever I had to.

“It’s okay,” I told her, leaning over to kiss her hair. “Thank you for being here for me.”

She nodded and regretfully let go of my hand.

I followed the two detectives back to a soundproof-looking room with nothing on the walls. It was only large enough to hold a folding table and three chairs, one in the corner with the back against the wall, the other two nearest the door. When I glanced up at the camera in the top corner, I started to get a little uneasy.

“Take a seat,” Detective Wilson offered, motioning me to the side where my back would literally be against the wall. Then he sat off to the side instead of taking the chair directly across from me, letting me know the other guy, Hall, was going to be in charge of “questioning” me.

We waited there for nearly half a minute in silence, enough time for me to rest my forearms against the corner of the table and clasp my hands tightly while my knee began to jiggle erratically.

The door opened again, and Detective Hall entered, carrying a clipboard with a clear bag that said Evidence at the top with a form looking thing below it. As he sat and placed the clipboard on the table in front of him, my gaze strayed to the bag. Through the plastic, I noticed a set of keys and cell phone. From the key ring hung a small silver dream catcher, a brown rabbit’s foot and a small bottle of breath spray.

“Those are Juli’s,” I said, sitting up in alarm. My gaze went to the phone. That was her phone case. And the screen was broken.

I guess now I knew why she hadn’t returned any of my calls.

Doom settled hard in my gut. I blinked at the evidence bag one more time before lifting my gaze to the detective. “What…?” I tried to ask but the words stuck in my throat. I honestly couldn’t remember being this afraid in my entire life.

“When was the last time you saw Julianna Radcliffe?”

My hands immediately went to my mouth as I tried to keep myself together. Mind racing with what could’ve possibly happened, I shook my head and blinked rapidly. “This morning,” I was finally able to choke out. “Just…just a few hours ago. I needed to go home and shower and change before class. We were supposed to have philosophy together at ten. She didn’t show. I thought…” I wasn’t sure what else I wanted to say. I wanted to demand answers, but I was also too afraid to hear them.

“So you stayed the night with her?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“And what did you do all night?”

“Uh…” I shook my head. “Slept mostly. Are you asking if we had sex?”

The detective sent me a dry glance before saying, “Did you and Miss Radcliffe have an argument?”

“What? No! Not at all. We parted on good terms, great terms. She smiled and kissed me and told me she’d see me in philosophy class. What the hell happened? Is she okay or not? Can you at least tell me if she’s…” I had to pause a moment and blink rapidly before rasping, “Is she still alive?”

The detectives shared a glance. What the hell did that mean? Did that mean no? Did it mean yes?

Oh my God, was she alive or not?

My breathing went all kinds of crazy. My hands shook and I started to rock back and forth in my chair while my eyes got a little wet.

“Ms. Radcliffe’s father said you guys had an argument last night,” Detective Hall pressed.

I gulped and tried to swallow down my fear before answering, but my throat was so dry only a croak emerged.

“Do you need a drink, Colton?” Detective Wilson asked.

When I squeezed my eyes and nodded, I heard a chair scrape when one of the men stood to leave the room. I opened my lashes and leveled a look at Detective Hall.

“Why can’t you just tell me what happened?” I asked from a crackling, dry throat.

The other man let out a breath before picking up the evidence bag and setting it to the side so he could reach for an eight-by-ten photo underneath. Turning it around so I could see it, he said, “Miss Radcliffe’s roommate left her apartment this morning to find this outside in the parking lot.”

“Holy shit,” I whispered.

It was a picture of Juli’s car, mostly just the driver’s side door, which stood wide open. Juli’s keys and broken cell phone lay on the ground just outside the opened door. Julianna, however, was nowhere in the shot.

“No one’s been able to locate her since,” Hall explained.

“So, what? She just…vanished?”

Hall lifted his gaze, which I took for a yes.

I shook my head. This…it didn’t make any sense. Someone had taken Julianna?

Where?

Why?

“Was there any sign of a struggle? Blood?” I demanded.

“There was a trace amount of blood,” he admitted.

“Oh, shit.” I gulped, trying not to throw up. “And you have no idea where she is?”

His eyes narrowed. “That’s what we’re trying to figure out right now, Mr. Gamble.”

Oh. Right. The questioning. I suddenly needed to get this out of the way so I could go look for her. “We didn’t fight,” I repeated. “We argued with her dad, but Julianna and I didn’t argue with each other. Not at all. We were a united front.”

Detective Hall nodded. “What did you argue about with her dad then?”

I shifted impatiently and glanced toward the door. “Didn’t he tell you?”

“I’d like to hear it from your point of view.”

Detective Wilson returned with the water, and I took a gulp because it felt as if I’d been swallowing shards of glass. As I sat the Styrofoam cup down, I said, “He doesn’t like me. Well, that can’t be true. He doesn’t even know me. We just met last night. I should’ve said he doesn’t approve of me. He basically told Juli he’d cut her off if she stayed with me.”

Detective Hall glanced at my black eye. “Why doesn’t he approve of you?”

I shrugged. “As far as I can tell he doesn’t want a white boy dating his daughter.”

That answer seemed to surprise the two, but they didn’t comment. Instead, Hall looked at my eye again. “Where’d you get the shiner?”

I shook my head, growing irritated because that was so not important and explaining it was a huge waste of time. “Just some altercation with a drunk guy on the sidewalk over in Aggie Ville. That has nothing to do with this at all.”

“Miss Radcliffe wasn’t involved?”

“Well…” I scratched my ear. “Yeah, but…that dude was a complete stranger. He—”

“What happened?”

I ran through the events of that night, giving them Cliff Notes. “We both gave a statement to the officer that night. And that guy didn’t know us from Adam. He was just some idiot drunk stranger bugging people walking by, and he went to jail for it.”

“We’ll look into it,” Detective Hall murmured as he jotted down some notes. “So…you last saw Miss Radcliffe in her apartment at approximately eight this morning. You two parted on good terms and hadn’t argued recently. Do you know anyone who might want to do her any harm?”

I began to shake my head before I remembered, “Yes! Her ex, Shaun.”

I explained to him Julianna’s short marriage and why she told me she’d divorced him, then went on about how he’d been bothering her and how I had almost talked her into coming here to file a restraining order against him.

“But you never came in?” Detective Hall wondered.

“No.” And I was probably going to hate myself for that for a very long time, too. I told them about how our families had waylaid us and then how Tyla had needed moral support. “I probably would’ve made her come in today after classes, though.”

Would’ve.

I hated saying that.

I still would. Just as soon as I found her.

The detectives asked me a handful more questions. By the time they walked me out of the interview room, Noel, Brandt, and Caroline had shown up to wait on me with Aspen.

My two sisters immediately converged to yank me into a hug. I hugged them back, needing their support.

“She’s missing,” I told them in a hollow voice, glancing with worry toward my two brothers. “They found her keys and broken phone laying on the ground outside her car with her driver’s side door hanging all the way open, and she’s just… She’s gone. She didn’t make it to class. No one knows where she is. They…” I shook my head, trying to wrap my head around all this. “I think they thought I took her.”

“Of course you didn’t take her,” Caroline said, rolling her eyes.

“But they had to ask,” Aspen returned logically.

“They don’t have any leads at all?” Brandt wanted to know.

Noel just studied me with watchful eyes.

From behind us, a throat cleared. “I find it very interesting,” Juli’s father started, his voice dripping with disapproval, “that this happened to my daughter on the very night after I learned she was dating you.”

I spun to him and narrowed my eyes. “And I find it very interesting that she disappeared the very morning after you showed up in town, issuing threats to her.”

“Excuse me?” He straightened with offense. “Why would I abduct my own daughter?”

“To keep her away from me,” I shot back before countering, “Why would I take my own girlfriend? If we were trying to run away together, wouldn’t I be with her right now?”

“I couldn’t even pretend to know what kind of schemes you’d carry out to hide your nefarious plans.”

I took a step toward him, growing fed up with this shit. “You want to talk nefarious plans, why don’t you look at your little pet project, Shaun. He’s been harassing her for almost two years now. Just the other night, he confronted her at work and grabbed her arm.”

“That’s true,” Brandt confirmed. “I work with her, and some guy showed up, grabbing her and yanking on her wrist. She was so shaken up afterward, I followed her home to make sure she made it there okay.”

Julianna’s father sniffed before shaking his head. “Shaun’s not like that. He’s a good kid. He—”

“He slapped her,” Sasha said, speaking up and surprising me because I hadn’t known she and Tyla and Chad had joined our conversation. “That’s why she really divorced him. Because he slapped her. And he cheated on her, too.”

Brandt eased in closer to me, asking from the side of his mouth, “Did she just say divorced?” When I nodded, he turned to me fully, his mouth falling open. “When the hell was she married?”

“Don’t worry. That was way before you,” I answered, gaining the curious attention of both Sasha and Tyla as they took in the very Brandt Gamble they’d heard so much about before I’d come along.

As I wiped my face, Juli’s father thundered, “Shaun slapped my little girl? Why the hell am I just now hearing about this?”

No one had an answer. Fed up with this entire conversation, I said, “I’m going to go find Juli,” just as Sasha gasped and grabbed Chad’s arm.

“There’s Shaun.”

We all looked over at the same moment to see two uniformed officers escorting Julianna’s ex into the police station. I started for him, my jaw set, only for my two brothers to grab me back.

“Easy,” Noel said into my ear.

“I just want to find out where Juli is,” I demanded.

But I needn’t have bothered, I guess. Her father stormed toward him, grabbing him by the front of his shirt.

“Did you take my little girl?” he boomed.

The pansy-ass shrank away from him, shaking his head and looking completely lost. “W-what?” There was no way he was acting; the dude seriously had no idea what was going on.

“Fuck,” I uttered, my stomach pitching with utter fear. “He doesn’t know where she is either.”

I’d kind of been counting on him having her, so we could beat her whereabouts out of him. But her ex didn’t know where she was either. And if he didn’t have her, then who did?

I glanced around me blindly, suddenly very helpless and vulnerable.

Two days later, I’d probably gotten a total of four hours of sleep altogether. And Julianna was still gone. That was the point when I finally broke down and cried.

JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 33

Sitting on the damp floor with my back to a crumbling wall, I tugged off one of my gloves with my teeth, then picked open a scab on the tip of my finger. I’d spent all day yesterday trying to claw my way out of this concrete tomb that seemed to be some kind of small underground storm shelter. The only thing I’d managed to accomplish, though, was to give myself two hands full of broken fingernails, ground down to tattered bloody stubs.

When fresh blood welled through the dirty flesh, I stuck my thumb into my mouth, sucking greedily so I could at least wet my tongue.

There’d been a small puddle in the corner just under the air vent in the ceiling where water had probably leaked in when it had rained. But I’d already drank that dry, knowing it’d probably make me sick but needing it anyway.

I almost wished for an insect to crawl by so I could eat it. I was literally starving to death down here. I’d screamed myself hoarse on day one, but even if I hadn’t, my throat had dried up too much to make much sound by now, anyway.

So I sat here in my ten-by-ten-foot prison, drinking blood from my own fingertips to hydrate myself and trying not to freeze to death in the process. I guess the only consolation was that I’d been taken while wearing my winter coat, where by some quirk of fate I’d had some gloves and a knit cap stuffed in my pockets. But no matter how much I bundled up, the cold crept in and settled straight against my bones.

Weak, tired, cold, starving, stiff and sore, I bent my knees up to my chest and hugged as much body heat back into myself as I could.

I didn’t know who’d taken me. One moment, I’d been trudging to my car through the crisp morning air, eager to get to campus so I could see Colton again; the next, a splitting pain seared through the back of my head as someone hit me with something. And after that, nothing. I’d woken up here, freaking the fuck out.

What’s worse, no one had come to visit once. I had no idea who had taken me, or why.

There was a door on the slanting roof above me and even a latch to open it, but someone had removed the steps that should’ve led up to that door, and no matter how much I jumped or tried to climb, crawl, or claw my way up to it, I couldn’t reach it. I’d cried so many frustrated, mad, frightened tears in the past few days, I probably could’ve drunk my dehydration away with them.

Closing my eyes as the metallic flavor trickled across my tongue, I rested my cheek on the wall and went to my happy place. It was with Colton, always Colton, with him either grinning at me from the other side of the bar at Forbidden as he commenced to flirt his way into my pants, or smiling with sated satisfaction in my bed with his bare chest still gleaming with sweat, or watching me with that knowing twinkle in his eyes from across the classroom in philosophy. It didn’t matter where we were, he was always there, watching me, wanting me, loving me.

I choked out a sob and wondered if I’d ever see him again. But those thoughts led to the worst panic. The thought of never getting out of here alive, never seeing Colton or my dad or best friends again, it all made my chest heave and body shake. So I shut those thoughts down and returned to just images of Colton’s face and the way he never failed to look at me with an impatient hunger.

I love you, I whispered inside my head, wondering if maybe he might hear it in his head if I thought it loud and hard enough. I love you, and I’m right here. Please find me.

A tear trickled down my cheek, making me grit my teeth. Dammit, no more tears. I couldn’t waste anymore moisture coming out of me. I needed to survive, prove my hearty ancestors proud, and make it through this.

I would overcome.

I just didn’t know how. And I felt so lost and alone and hopeless, another tear tracked down my cheek.

“Someone,” I croaked the word aloud, though my rasping voice barely lifted above a whisper. “Help me.”

As if answering a prayer, footsteps approached outside, making a crunching sound, like maybe boots plodding over gravel. Then metal scraped against metal. It was dark in my pit, but the air vent allowed just enough daylight in that I could see the inside of the door latch turning until it began to swing open. But the amount of brightness that flooded the cellar caused me to shrink back in my corner and hold up my hand to shade my eyes instead of scampering forward for help.

It was probably just as well I didn’t surge forward, anyway, because I soon discovered my captor—not a savior—had arrived.

“Hey,” a male voice said. “You still alive down there?”

I didn’t answer, wondering what would happen if he thought I was dead. Would he come down personally to check on me? Maybe I could overpower him and get out. He’d hit me from behind to capture me, he hadn’t tried to physically manhandle me; it was possible he wasn’t that big of a guy. Or would he shut the door, never to return, so that I really did die down here?

I was too afraid to move, yet too afraid not too. My breaths started to heave, so I slammed my hand to my mouth and bit my knuckles, hoping to keep quiet. A second later, the beam of a flashlight invaded my dark corner and hit me right in the eyes, causing me to clench them shut and cower my face into my knees.

“There she is,” he cooed approvingly. “Time to wake up now, Chocolate Tits. We got some justice to serve.”

Chocolate Tits?

I lifted my face, squinting until the flashlight moved away from my face, and I could make out the man’s silhouette. He crouched down onto his haunches, and the shadows shifted just enough to reveal the side of his face, along with a teardrop tattoo dripping down from the corner of his eye.

I gasped, my mouth falling open.

But what the hell? I thought he was in jail. The officers had said he was being arrested after he’d gotten into that fight with Colton. How had he gotten out? How had he found me? And why in God’s name had he kidnapped me?

“Remember me, do you?” he asked, resting his forearms on his knees so that his wrists dangled between them, one of his hands holding what looked like a knife.

My gaze shifted back and forth between his face where a cynical sneer contorted his features and that knife swaying lazily from his fingers.

He smirked when I didn’t answer him. “Yeah, you remember me.” Tilting his head to the side as he continued to watch me, he added, “Bet you’re wondering why I took you, huh? Probably think it’s payback for the way you and your boyfriend got me arrested. But no. That’s not it. That’s not it at all.” Then he chuckled. “Okay, maybe it is a little.”

He stood up again and spread his arms wide. “You probably can’t see it from down there, but all this land around me here is my family homestead. We owned the biggest damn orchard in the entire state. My parents, and brother, and I. It was…” His voice went breathless with awe as he gazed around him. “It was amazing.”

But as soon as the word hit his tongue, his shoulders fell.

“Until one of your fucking black brothers raped and murdered my mother when she went to Chicago for a business trip.” His entire body shook and his lips peeled back away from his teeth as he gritted them. “My father ended up killing himself because of the grief. All the workers ran off, then my brother left. Now it’s just me. Me and my nightmares. I can’t sleep for the fucking nightmares,” he screamed, pointing his knife at me as if it were all my fault.

Chest heaving and eyes filled with an unnatural glow, he glared at me, saying, “I’ve tried drugs and alcohol and sex and violence. None of it fucking works. I still have the nightmares.”

Another tear trickled down my cheek. Maybe he should try dream catchers or rabbit’s feet. Not that I was going to suggest that, but it had to beat kidnapping.

“So you know what I finally figured out I was doing wrong?” he asked me. I didn’t answer and didn’t really think I had to. The guy seemed to be monologuing just fine without me. “I haven’t gotten my revenge yet. My justice. That’s what I’ve been doing wrong.” His arms went up as if in victory for coming up with his idea. “If I just rape and murder one of his women, all will be right in the world again. Justice will be served. And wasn’t it just handy you were the bitch who got me arrested on the very night I came up with the idea? And that I got a brief glimpse of your name and address on one of the witness reports in the file they had open when I signed my bond paperwork to get out of jail. It was as if destiny was telling me what to do, demanding what I do.”

I whimpered and my bottom lip trembled.

There was so much I wanted to say to him: Two wrongs didn’t make a right. I hadn’t been the one to kill his mother, so revenge really wouldn’t be served if he hurt me. There would be no justice in this.

Besides, making this about race was just plain stupid. Adolf Hitler had been white. Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy, Jr., the Green River Killer. All white and all brutal murderers. But I didn’t think white people were evil. Well, aside from this creep, and even then, I was smart enough to see he might’ve started off as a normal, average guy without any kind of hatred in him; his grief had fucked him over majorly.

I bet the man who’d murdered his mother had been mistreated by white people before he’d gone evil too. It was a vicious ugly cycle that needed to stop. I wanted to tell this guy he needed to let the pain and hatred go or he was going to end up somewhere he couldn’t return from, except…I think he’d just arrived there.

I almost felt bad for him. He could no longer understand logical reason or right from wrong. The man he might’ve once been was long gone. His demons had consumed him completely. But then, yeah, the fucker had just kidnapped me and said he was going to rape and kill me, so…my sympathy never quite made it to the surface.

Full of anger and fear, I didn’t waste my breath. I just tried to keep myself from having a panic attack and stared mutinously at him as he closed his knife and tucked it into his pocket before grabbing something and dropping it down into the cellar with me.

It clanged loudly, echoing around my concrete prison, making me wince and cover my ears before I realized he’d just gifted me a metal ladder.

I blinked at it, my chest growing tight with anticipation and my head spinning with the hope of freedom. When my muscles tightened, not sure if I could trust this olive branch or not, he said, “So here’s how this is going to go. You can either climb up out here and die in the sunlight, or I can crawl down there and kill you in the dark. Make your choice.”

My vision grayed and pulse quickened. Fear raced through my bloodstream. My hands and knees and probably even my hair trembled out of control.

I wanted to choose C, none of the above. But Psycho Kidnapper was already tugging his knife from his pocket again and looked like he was going to start climbing down, so I clambered for the ladder, my bloody hands gripping the rungs and knees knocking together so hard I could barely move.

I was so weak; it was a miracle I could pull myself up one step after another. My body was stiff from hovering in the fetal position for days, my blood sugar felt incredibly low and my eyes couldn’t seem to adjust to the brightness outside, though the more I climbed the more I realized it was later in the day than I had initially thought. It was probably about time I should be heading into work. I tried to remember if I’d been scheduled today or not, but my brain wouldn’t function right.

Why the hell was I even worrying about missing work while I was climbing out of a concrete pit to meet my death?

I think I was going into shock.

I looked up, my hopes sinking. My kidnapper wasn’t small, dammit. He probably stood over six feet and weighed over two hundred pounds. There was no way I was in any kind of position to enter hand-to-hand combat right now, especially with someone this big. I’d taken a total of one self-defense class in my entire life and at the moment, I couldn’t remember a single technique I’d learned. The chances of me coming out the victor were pretty much zero-point-five.

But as I gingerly pulled myself up from the hole in the ground, Colton’s voice echoed through my head.

You’re not the type to go down after one punch. You always pop right back up, swinging and snarling.

You’re a fighter

And I was.

I was a fighter, so I was going to fight.

BRANDT’S CHAPTER | 34

I wiped down the counter of the bar and glanced at the time. Twenty minutes until opening. I’m not sure why I was so obsessed with checking the time these past few days, but I did it constantly.

Obsessively.

It’d just passed the fifty-seven-hour mark since Julianna had gone missing. Twelve minutes since I’d called in to check on my brother. And about twenty-five seconds since I’d fought the urge to ditch work and drive the streets again, searching for my lost coworker.

Colton was a fucking mess. I’d never seen him this out of sorts before. He’d wept this morning, losing his shit all over Aspen, and none of us had known what to do to help him.

I didn’t like this powerless feeling. I had no idea what to do to ease my brother. None of us did.

They said he wasn’t eating or sleeping. When he wasn’t out looking for Juli, or hanging around her apartment in the hopes she’d show up, he was agitated and short-tempered. Not that I could blame him. If Sarah had disappeared into thin air, I’d freak the fuck out too. It was just so strange to see Colton like this and realize he really had gotten that close to Juli.

It had been so weird for me to think of them together. But in the last fifty-seven hours, my coworker had swiftly moved from one of my what-ifs and strictly to Colton’s one-and-only, which was bizarre in its own right. But whatever.

I was scared as hell for him. He was running himself into the ground and was going to be no good to anyone soon. I wanted to smack some sense into him and hug him all at the same time.

Pick exited from the back hall, talking on a cell phone. “Thanks for the info,” he was saying, “I owe you one.” When he hung up, he set his arms on the countertop and sighed heavily.

“Anything?” I asked hopefully.

He was doing everything he could to find Julianna too, pulling strings and digging up information behind the scenes, even hiring a private investigator. One of his bartenders had been abducted; he took that personally.

“My guy has a lead on the guy Colton got into a fistfight with.”

I frowned and shook my head, confused. “The racist drunk?”

Pick nodded and pinched a spot on the bridge of his nose. “His name’s Fulton Seymour. He’s been arrested a few times in the last couple years for some minor hate crimes, mostly drunken arguments, vandalism, petty theft. But it started about four years ago after his mom was murdered…” He looked at me meaningfully before adding, “By a black guy.”

I sighed heavily, not liking where this was headed.

“He bonded out of jail about an hour before Julianna disappeared.”

“Fuck,” I murmured, shaking my head. “Has anyone questioned him yet?”

“No one’s been able to locate him. He’s no longer living at his last known address. None of his friends know where he’s been staying and the orchard his family owned, about twenty miles outside town, was foreclosed about two years ago and is currently property of the bank.”

I ran my hands through my hair, relieved there was finally some kind of lead, and yet more frustrated and scared by what we’d learned. “Does Colton know any of this?”

Pick shook his head. “I don’t know what the point of telling him would be. If we can’t even find this Seymour guy, how could it help anything? I think it could only upset Colton more. Besides, who knows if he’s the one who took her or not.”

I nodded, even though I wasn’t sure if I agreed. If there’d been any kind of news about Sarah’s disappearance, I’d want to know every detail. It all just made me feel shittier.

Colton snapped at me more than he did anyone else, and he couldn’t look my way without glaring. He was pissed about the way I’d initially reacted to his relationship with Juli, and at the moment, I couldn’t blame him. But it all made me antsy and distressed. I wanted to do something for him—like find his Julianna—so he’d finally forgive me.

“I keep expecting her to walk through the doors for her shift,” Pick murmured, watching the waitresses set up tables for opening.

I nodded sadly. She’d been scheduled to work tonight, but I was filling in for her. For some reason, I thought it’d earn me a couple brownie points with Colton, but I don’t think he’d even noticed. I opened my mouth to ask what the chances were that she was still alive when the nightclub’s landline phone rang. We weren’t open yet and normally I’d let it ring through to voice mail, but I’d been answering every call coming in from every phone around me these last few days.

“Forbidden Nightclub. This is Brandt.”

At first, there was nothing, just some static, and then I thought I heard a faint sound.

“Hello?” I asked, my heart rate jerking with hope. Pick straightened, alerted to my reaction. His gaze pinned me with question. “Hello?” I said again.

The scratchy noise came again, but this time I swear it said my name.

It didn’t sound like her at all, but I still had to ask. “Julianna?”

Pick leaped over the counter to stand anxiously next to me.

Straining to hear, I pressed the phone harder against my ear. There was a hiccupping kind of sob, and then the person on the other end of the line began to cry.

“Julianna?” I said a little more urgently. “Is that you?”

“I…this was the only number I could remember,” the hoarse, faltering voice told me. “Should’ve called 911. Why didn’t I call 911? I can’t think. I should call nine…”

“Julianna.” Affecting my voice with a calm clarity I didn’t feel, I asked, “Where are you?”

“I don’t know.” The voice broke with either a bad connection, her inability to talk, or both. “Orchard,” I finally heard. “Country.”

“Okay.” I nodded, eager hope blooming inside me as I nodded. “That’s good. You’re at an orchard in the country.” I met Pick’s gaze meaningfully. “I think I know exactly where you are. We can find you. Are you okay?”

When she said, “No,” I shuddered, worried how Colton was going to deal with this.

“Just hang tight,” I told her, not sure what else to say. “I’m going to come get you.”

She began to cry again, and the only word I understood after that was, “Colton…”

“Yes, we’ll get Colton. You’ll see him soon. I swear. I’ll be right there.” Not wanting to hang up with her but ready to get where I needed to go, I tossed the phone to Pick.

He caught it easily and pressed it to his ear while I jumped over the bar and ran for the exit. I logged on to my phone as I jogged, typing Seymour, orchard, and Illinois into my map search as I went. Though it’d been closed for two years, I found that a Seymour Valley Apple Farm, located exactly eighteen miles outside Ellamore, was still registered as a place of business. I plugged in the driving directions and hopped into my truck.

Since my phone was busy with helping me find Juli, I didn’t call my brother. I trusted that Pick would contact everyone who needed to know, and besides, I kind of wanted to be the first one who found her so Colton would stop hating me, and of course because I wanted to help my favorite coworker, but the Colton aspect made it even more urgent.

It should’ve been a half-hour drive, but I made it in twenty minutes. I pulled into the weed-covered driveway that didn’t look as if it’d been maintained in two years and drove to the end of the lane until I was in front of the house and a couple outbuildings. One of them hosted a whole side of the building with the words Seymour Valley Apple Farm painted on the side in chipping red block letters.

I killed the engine and climbed out.

The place seemed deserted and rundown, except for a single older model truck parked in front of my ride. Evening had fallen and I squinted through the dusk, not sure where to even begin looking. So I cupped my hand around my mouth and yelled, “Juli!”

No one answered.

I began to panic, thinking I’d come to the wrong place. Maybe she was at a different orchard. But the name fit and the place looked as if it’d been foreclosed for a good two years. I jogged toward the abandoned two-story farmhouse with no curtains or shades in the windows, revealing the interior was bare of everything. But when I tried the front door, it was locked. I went around to the back and tried the back door next. Also locked.

I rubbed my face, thinking.

Julianna had called me from somewhere. There had to be a phone inside. Trying not to think about the fact I was breaking and entering, I backed up a few steps and then rammed my shoulder into the back door. Hurt like a motherfucker. I might’ve dislocated it. What was worse, the door didn’t even budge. Wincing, I eased off my jacket and wrapped it around my fist before going with option two and breaking out the glass.

Once I was inside, I searched the empty house from top to bottom for a phone, but there wasn’t one. And there was no Juli. So I tried the building I guessed had probably once been the storefront for the orchard. After breaking in there and finding no phone, I spun in a circle, stabbing my fingers through my hair.

“Julianna!” I yelled, walking aimlessly around the building. Where the fuck was she?

I was about to give up all hope when I spotted the storm shelter sticking about a foot above the ground on the side of the house I hadn’t used to get to the back door. And huddled on the ground beside it was a figure. No, wait. Two figures. One was kneeling with its head lowered, the other was lying on the ground next to the first.

“Juli!” I raced forward, skidding to a stop when I was close enough to take in the scene before me.

She sat on her knees, covered in blood, with her head bowed and scarlet-stained hands holding a cell phone to her chest next to some guy sprawled on his back like Da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man. The dude looked dead, and like maybe he’d been stabbed, especially with that knife sticking out of his throat.

“Juli?” I said hesitantly, easing a few steps forward until I could creep out my hand and touch her shoulder. She jumped as if scalded and began to scream, and yet not scream. I think she was trying to scream but didn’t exactly have a voice left to do so. What came out was just a hoarse release of air.

And then she began to whisper, “No, no, no, no, no,” as she shook her head and clutched the phone in her hands.

I drew my fingers back and skipped away, holding up both hands to let her know I wouldn’t touch her again. Not that she even noticed or acknowledged me.

Beginning to shake out of control, I tugged up my phone and called Pick. “I found her.”

“Oh, thank God,” he breathed. “Is she okay?”

I shook my head. “Man, I don’t even know. There’s blood everywhere, I can’t tell if it’s hers or not. She flipped out when I touched her. She doesn’t act like I’m even here, but she’s sitting upright and rocking herself. I think…I think she killed the guy who took her. He’s lying here dead beside her with a knife sticking from his throat.”

“Holy fuck.”

I nodded. Yeah. That about summed it up. “Who have you called?”

“Everyone,” he confirmed. “Actually, I wouldn’t think they’d be too far behind you.” And even as he said that I heard a car in the drive, pulling to a stop behind my truck.

“Someone just showed up,” I affirmed. “Talk later.”

I disconnected with him to greet whoever had shown. Surprised to see Julianna’s father jogging toward me, I waved him forward even as I gritted my teeth.

He wasn’t exactly my favorite person at the moment. He’d treated Colton like a criminal since Monday, certain my brother was the reason behind all this. They had clashed tempers so often now, I think we’d had to stop them from coming to physical blows about a dozen times.

“She’s here,” I said, watching his face as he drew close enough to see what had happened for himself.

“Mother of God.” He gulped as if he were going to be sick, then he veered around the dead guy to get to his daughter. “Juli Bug. Baby girl. It’s okay. Daddy’s here.”

But he got the same result I had when he tried to touch her. He jerked away as she started to hyperventilate and scream in the same hoarse cry that tore something up inside me.

While her dad was forced to back away as well, I clutched my head, wishing there was some way to at least calm her down.

The police showed up next. They radioed for an ambulance, assuring us someone would probably give her a tranquilizer to put her to sleep so they could get her help. Then they forced us back, away from the crime scene and affirmed that her kidnapper was most definitely dead.

Colton and Noel arrived just before the paramedics did.

As my brother raced forward, I turned to intercept him. “Hey, don’t—” I tried to hold him back so he couldn’t see the gruesome sight, but he pushed me out of the way and plowed past.

“Is she okay?” he demanded, hurrying a few steps forward before slowing to a stop and gaping in horror. “Oh, Jesus. Baby doll?”

Julianna lifted her face, ignoring the two officers who were flanking her and had been trying to get her to respond to them. “Colton?”

He rushed the last few feet to her and fell to his knees, where she launched herself into his arms and clung to him as if he were the only thing left on the planet to hold on to.

COLTON’S CHAPTER | 35

Sometimes it was better not to think. As a frozen, blood-covered Julianna shivered and whimpered in my arms, smelling of piss, mildew, and all manner of gross, I watched the police cover the dead body lying five feet away with a tarp, and I tried to process what I was seeing. But I’m pretty sure my brain wouldn’t let my thoughts travel far or I would’ve had a meltdown right then and there.

I was shaking as much as Julianna was. Or maybe she was trembling so much for both of us it just felt like I was too. She was like hugging an ice cube.

“Blanket,” I said, lifting my face to address anyone from the horde of people gathered around us, standing there and gawking like dumbasses.

Juli’s dad immediately began to shed his coat. Somewhere in my head, I wondered why I hadn’t had the forethought to take off my own coat for her, but then, I wasn’t all that sure I was able to stop holding her long enough to do so. I snatched the coat as soon as it was held down to me, and after I fumbled to wrap it around her shoulders and tugged her back against me, she tucked her face just under my chin, croaking a barely discernable word that sounded like water.

“Water,” I ordered, glancing up again. This request wasn’t so readily available. There was a mad scramble before a clear half-empty bottle was shoved in front of me. In the wait, I tucked my face close to her cheek and asked, “Where does it hurt most?”

Though her coat and clothes were freezing cold, her cheek was burning hot.

A shudder wracked her body. “E-everywhere.”

I closed my eyes and kissed her hair. We clutched each other for a while, blocking out the rest of the world. I was only vaguely aware of family and emergency workers milling around us, talking and trying to figure out what had happened. At the moment, I didn’t care about any of that. Julianna was alive and in my arms, and that was all that mattered.

When the ambulance finally arrived and they started to wheel a stretcher toward us, I returned to reality and began to pull away from her, knowing she needed to be checked out.

“I think she has a fever,” I told them. But as soon as I stepped away and two paramedics crouched in front of her, she freaked.

“No… Colton.” She reached for me, her breathing immediately picking up, eyes huge with fear, and tears gushing, so I stepped toward her, except the paramedic waved me back.

“Sir, we have this.”

I gritted my teeth and shot the woman a look from hell. Julianna needed me. I wasn’t going to leave her if she wanted me close.

I didn’t have to say a word, though. Julianna’s dad’s voice spoke up, commanding, “Let him stay with her. She gets hysterical otherwise. He’s the only one who’s been able to keep her calm.”

I kind of loved him in that moment.

He had such a powerful presence, the woman nodded reluctantly and waved me forward. “You’re going to have to stay out of our way though so we can take care of her.”

“I understand.” Taking Juli’s hand, I kneeled by her again, moving in close so I could kiss her temple. “Baby doll, these people need to check you over and make sure you don’t have any wounds that need to be immediately taken care of.”

She nodded as she pressed her cheek against my chest. “Okay.”

As long as she could touch me, she let them do their thing, flashing lights in her eyes and taking her blood pressure, temperature, and such. She even answered their questions, though she gripped my shirt in one hand hard as she did so.

“There’s a lot of blood on you, Juli,” the female paramedic said kindly. “Do you know if any of it’s yours?”

“Maybe,” Julianna croaked. “I think so. Stabbed.”

“You were stabbed?”

When she nodded, I breathed, “Jesus,” and closed my eyes.

They asked her where, and Juli lifted her shirt enough to show them her abdomen, where two nasty slashes were still oozing blood.

I whimpered.

The EMT examined it before nodding. “Good news is it looks like you were slashed and not penetrated. Probably just surface damage, but we need to get you into the ambulance so we can clean and patch you up, okay?”

“Okay.”

About three of us helped her to her feet. Her legs were unsteady, but she finally gained her equilibrium enough to hold on to me tight as she took her first wobbly step forward. But as soon as they started to help her onto the stretcher, she freaked, diving back to me and clutching me hard, hiding her face in my coat.

“It’s okay, baby doll,” I assured her, picking her up and simply carrying her to the ambulance, despite the protest of the emergency workers.

Again, they didn’t want me in the ambulance with them, something about policies and liabilities, but Julianna’s dad once more talked them into letting me stay.

We finally got her to sit, but she wouldn’t let go of my hand all the way to the hospital, and I had to say, I didn’t mind. It was nice to feel her alive under my fingers. I didn’t want to be apart from her, no matter how hard it was to witness her agony and only imagine what she’d gone through these past few days.

At the hospital, she was still resistant to being rolled in on her back. She wanted to walk, except she was like a new colt, her steps stuttering and uncertain. So we got her to compromise with a wheelchair.

I think we broke a ton of hospital rules. She didn’t want anyone cutting her clothes off her, she begged for a shower, she refused to take a rape kit, saying there was no need (thank God), and she wanted no one but me to assist her through all this. Considering what she’d been through, they pretty much let her have her way.

So after I helped her strip down and turned on the shower water for her, she took one look at the tiny cubicle and turned away, burrowing into me as a fresh sob wracked her body.

“Shh… it’s okay,” I murmured into her hair. “You don’t have to go in if you don’t want to.”

If I were her, I doubt I’d ever want to step foot into a small space again either.

But she shook her head. “No, I want…” Her voice broke, going hoarse. She looked up, her eyes begging. “Come with me?” she whispered, pleadingly.

I nodded immediately. “Of course.”

The nurse standing by, waiting to assist, said, “I’ll find you something to change into, sir. You have blood all over your clothes, anyway.”

As she took off, I stripped down as well and took Julianna’s hand before helping her into the shower. She grabbed my wrist when I went to close the curtain, but when I looked at her, she eased her grip and nodded.

My heart broke. She was scared but still trying to be brave. My brave fighter.

I helped her rinse off and soap up and rinse again. Once the water was off, I found a towel to wrap around my waist before scrubbing her dry with another. She just stood there, shivering. The nurse and I dressed her in warm socks and a hospital gown as quickly as possible before leading her to the bed, where they had to redress her wounds that had gotten wet. Her fever had spiked to a hundred and six, so they set her up with an IV full of medicine and fluids.

She had scrapes and abrasions and bruises all over, but the knife slashes on her stomach were the worst of it. I was grateful for that, and yet still worried out of my mind, because I knew her true injuries were ones that couldn’t be bandaged.

While the nurse fussed over her, getting her more water, I stepped back into the bathroom to pull on the scrubs they’d found for me to wear. After I was clothed again, I paused a moment to look at my face in the mirror.

It felt strange to look at my reflection and see the same face I’d always seen. Everything felt different now. I should’ve looked into the mirror and seen a stranger. But it was still me, which was so freaking bizarre.

When my hands began to shake because the reality of what had just happened to her started to set in, I quickly left the bathroom, unable to deal with that just yet.

Julianna’s father had arrived while I’d been changing. He and I shared a brief glance and respectful nod before I turned my attention to my girl.

“You look like a doctor,” she said, blinking at me. Her voice was getting stronger, less rough. I swear she’d been drinking water by the gallon since we’d found her, so maybe that was helping.

I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively as I approached to sit in the chair across the bed from where her father stood with his arms crossed over his chest.

“A sexy doctor?” I asked, taking her fingers when she held out her hand to me. The ends of them were bandaged in white gauze.

The corners of her lips tipped up in a smile, the first hint of a smile I’d seen from her in three days. “Of course,” she answered, her bruised eyes sparkling with mischief right before she added, “almost as sexy as Dr. Hamilton.”

Gasping as if hurt, I pressed my hand to my chest. “Oh, baby doll, you wound me.” But honestly, I was grateful she was able to tease.

Closing her eyes, she kept smiling as she gripped my fingers. “As if.”

I kissed her scraped knuckles and blew out a shuddered yet relieved breath just as a tap came to the door.

“Sorry for the intrusion.” The two detectives—Wilson and Hall—stepped into the room, nodding respectfully to Julianna. “But we were wondering if Miss Radcliffe was able to make a statement now.”

Julianna’s father and I immediately protested, but Juli waved her hand. “I want to get it over with.” But she tightened her grip on my fingers, letting me know she wanted me to stay.

So I sat there and listened to her entire account.

And while the officers began their questions, I fought the urge to tell them to fuck off every time she had to pause because her voice went too hoarse. She winced while she swallowed and had to take another drink, continuing. They didn’t have many questions because she was pretty detailed and chronological about the series of events, a fact that made me increasingly sick to my stomach and equal parts awed.

I had one badass girlfriend.

After her abductor had waited for her to crawl fully out of the storm shelter where he’d kept her with no food or water for nearly three days, she’d fought him with nothing but her willpower. She’d been feverish, half frozen and nearly starved to death, shaky from fatigue and exposure, and he’d been twice her size, brandishing a knife. She explained how she’d had to let him get in close first and then preoccupied him with removing her coat before she’d fought back. I don’t think she was even sure how she’d accomplished it, but as I took a moment to try to imagine what it’d had to feel like for her attacker’s breath to waft across her face while his lifeblood poured through her fingers, I shuddered, not sure if I would’ve been able to do what she’d had to do to survive.

I glanced to the side because the haunted look in her eyes as she spoke made it twice as hard to listen to.

Once she’d realized he was dead, she’d had to search his pockets for his cell phone and call for help. When they asked her why she hadn’t called 911 first thing, she shook her head.

“I don’t know. I just…I wasn’t thinking. I only wanted Colton, except I couldn’t remember his number. I couldn’t remember any number except my work number. So I called there, knowing they could get him. I…I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“You did just fine, baby doll,” I murmured, kissing her knuckles. “You did perfect.” She’d gotten help and that was all that mattered.

The detectives didn’t stay too long after that. They could see on Juli’s face how exhausted she was. But they did stay long enough to tell her the name of her attacker and confirm that the story he’d told her about his mother’s death matched what they knew about him.

Once just the three of us were left in the room again, Julianna looked up at me. Her eyes were wide with fear as they sought reassurance.

“It’s okay,” I told her, kissing her forehead. “All that’s over now. You can sleep.”

“You’ll stay?” she asked.

I nodded. “Of course.”

Finally, feeling safe enough to close her eyes, she curled onto her side and tucked her hand up by her face. I swear she passed out a second later; she was that exhausted.

I sat there, still holding her hand and watched her sleep peacefully.

Then I stroked her hair, only for a chunk to come off in my hand. I gaped at the dark dried strands in horror before turning my attention back to the bald patch I’d just made.

“No.”

Someone had kidnapped her, imprisoned her, left her there to starve and freeze, then tried to rape and kill her, and she was fucking going to lose her hair on top of that? The fingernails she took such meticulous care of were already destroyed. Wasn’t that enough torture? Not her hair too.

That was a tipping point for me. I got pissed. More than pissed.

“Motherfucker,” I hissed.

That shit stain had taken three days of her life, filled her with a whole new batch of night terrors, and now he was making her hair fall out? I wanted to find his corpse and kill him all over again. I wanted to yell and break something. I wanted to cry and drink myself into oblivion.

Her entire life had just completely changed. That was all there was to it. She could never really be the same again.

Swiftly following my rage, the guilt came.

I didn’t think I’d ever hated myself as much as I did in that moment. Because this was all my fault. He never would’ve even met her if I hadn’t insisted we go out to eat that night. He never would’ve targeted her if I hadn’t gotten into that fight with him.

Why was I the only one she wanted near her now?

I didn’t deserve it.

This wasn’t the first time someone I cared for deeply had gotten hurt because of me, and it wasn’t the first time I’d been forgiven immediately as if I’d done nothing wrong.

It made me want to scream because I wanted to pay for my sins more than this. I was a fucking cancer. Loving me ended up hurting people. I should just—

A hand touched my shoulder, making me jump.

“I think you need to take a walk, kid.”

Looking up at Juli’s dad, I shook my head. “She asked me to stay.” Everything else I’d done had been wrong, the least I could do right was the one thing she’d asked of me: to stay with her.

But he didn’t look angry or irritated with me. He looked sympathetic.

“And you’re about to lose it,” he said softly. “So go take a break before she wakes up to you going hysterical.”

I really was on the brink of totally losing my shit. Her dad was right. No way could I have a breakdown in front of her. Curling my hands into fists, I stood. “I’ll be right back.” Then I left the room.

When I exited, however, I slowed to a stop when I saw so many familiar faces hanging out in the hallway, waiting for news.

Turning to Juli’s two roommates who approached first, I sent them a tired smile “The last few days have been a nightmare for her, but she’s going to be okay. She’s resting right now. Before she wakes up, do you think you could get a couple things from her apartment for me?”

They nodded. “Of course. Anything.”

I listed off the items I wanted them to bring back. The things I mentioned made them misty-eyed and earned me a hug before they took off.

Next came my family, who’d been anxiously hovering and waiting for their chance to check on me. They surged forward all at the same time.

“Are you okay?” Aspen asked, drawing me into a hug.

I hugged her back and admitted, “No. I don’t…I can’t stop thinking about what she told the police. I honestly don’t know how she survived.”

Her eyes filled with worry before she kissed my cheek and stood back to let Caroline hug me next. “Bubba. You got her back, just keep focusing on that.”

I nodded. “I’m trying.” But fuck, after hearing what I’d just heard…I really wanted to hit something.

“Colton,” Brandt started, his gaze full of apology.

I lifted my hand. “Not now.”

“Give him some space,” Noel told Brandt as he patted my shoulder and nudged me to walk it off by myself down the hall.

Grateful for the moment alone, I began to walk, not paying attention to where I was going or even really caring. I just needed to move, to keep from thinking about—

Dammit. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

When I passed the hospital’s chapel and saw that it looked empty through the window, I ducked inside before slumping into a pew in the back and cradling my face in my hands as I rested my elbows on my knees.

It really didn’t help to clear my head. In fact, I think my brain only filled with more and more shit to bother me. My hands were shaking and my breathing was labored when the door behind me opened.

Julianna’s father took a pew seat in front of me, watching me closely.

I sent him a dark look, braced and almost eager for him to sling more shit my way. I deserved it. Craved it.

“Go ahead and say it,” I ordered.

But he only gave a heavy sigh before answering, “I don’t have anything to say. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Okay?” I snorted. “How the fuck could I be okay? You heard her story. You heard who took her. You know why.”

He should hate me right now. This was all my fault.

“Yes,” he answered, calmly. “I heard her story and I know why she was taken.”

Then he’d better hate me.

But when he didn’t say any such thing, I grew irritable.

“You were right, you know,” I said. “I shouldn’t have ever been with her. Look what happened. He targeted her because of me because I was with her. I almost got her killed. She’s been traumatized. This is going to haunt her for the rest of her life. And that’s on me. If I’d just left her alone... Jesus,” I whispered, burying my face back into my hands, trying to hide from my shame.

I had ruined the most important person in my life.

Her father sat quietly until he was sure I was done talking. Then he heaved out another sigh and asked, “You about done being a drama queen yet?”

I lifted my face, frowning. “What?”

His brow went up. “Son, do you really know why I didn’t approve of you being with her?”

I blinked, confused. “Because I’m white,” I said slowly.

Except looking at his expression now, I suddenly wasn’t so sure.

He rolled his eyes. “Not even close. I’ve been around enough people, of all shapes and sizes and races to know better than that. At the end of the day, none of that matters. We’re all just people. We love. We hope. We fear. We hurt. The packaging on the outside is just that, pretty packaging to decorate the world and make it a beautiful, colorful, assorted place. It’s the gift inside that counts. And some people are going to misuse their gift, while some are going to enrich the lives of others and themselves with it. It didn’t matter to me how you were packaged, Colton.”

“Then...” I shook my head, unable to believe what I was hearing. “Why didn’t you like me?”

“I didn’t like you because my Juli Bug felt the need to hide her relationship with you from me. That told me there had to be something about you she thought I should condemn.”

“But she was only worried about the white thing,” I started, making him lift his hand and shake his head.

“I know, I know. I realize that now. And I’m sure that’s my fault. I took my work home with me too often. She no doubt heard me make some comments in the past that sounded pretty bad. My job is to hunt down instances where a minority has been mistreated. But I’ve also seen it happen the other way around. I’ve seen some awful things come from all kinds of people. It never fails to shock me how cruel the world can be.”

I glanced toward the direction of Julianna’s hospital room, where she currently slept, battered and bruised. “Yeah,” I said, feeling that kind of shock myself.

He smiled sadly and patted my shoulder. “But I’ve also seen some amazing things, some heart-touching things where two completely diverse groups have come together and made miracles happen. That’s what impresses me most, you know, when two complete opposites mix and create something grand together, using both of their unique backgrounds to accomplish one goal. And yet...”

He shook his head as if ashamed of himself. “That’s exactly what made me wary about you. You were too flashy. Everything I learned about you from watching your Vine channel and the salutatorian address that was posted on YouTube at your high school graduation, it all told me you didn’t mind being the center of attention.” Then he shrugged. “My Julianna dreads attention.”

I nodded, knowing this. “Yeah,” I said. “Her biggest fear is having someone look her way and see anything less than perfect.”

“Exactly,” her father agreed. “I was so sure that her being with you would drag her into some spotlight she despised, and then you’d leave her floundering there because you came across as the kind of person who cared more for yourself than anyone else. You’d just flitter off, abandoning her, as soon as something else caught your attention. I couldn’t see how you could be any good for her.”

“And now?” I had to ask, holding my breath as I waited for his answer.

“And now,” he said with a weary sigh. “I’ve watched you put her needs before anything else. I’ve seen you take care of her like a man tending to his wounded mate. And I’ve finally come to realize you two have formed one of those unique, diverse alliances that impress me most. I think your flamboyance is just the thing to offset her structured ways. You’re exactly what she needs in her life.”

I shook my head, unable to accept his acceptance of me. “But he never would’ve gone after her if I hadn’t gotten into that fight with him.”

“Son,” he said in that strong, powerful voice of his. “You were defending my little girl. Don’t ever stop doing that. And excuse my language, but bullshit he chose her because of you. He chose her because he was full of hate. If he hadn’t taken her, he’d have taken some other black girl he came across, and she might not have been able to handle herself as well as my Juli Bug did. You did well. Believe that. Always.”

JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 36

Chad’s words were flowing through my head as I came awake.

We’re all basically the same. We smile when we’re happy, cry when we’re sad, eat when we’re hungry, sleep when we’re tired.

Then I pictured Colton weaving his fingers through mine and examining the contrast we made together, like piano keys.

And then the strange dream was gone. I was suddenly awake, afraid and frozen before I realized I wasn’t in my concrete cave anymore. And I wasn’t even cold. I was in a bed with lights and warmth and soft blankets and pillows.

A rustling sound made me tip my face that way and open my eyes to watch Colton hang a dream catcher in the window. His back was to me, so he didn’t know I was awake yet. It gave me a moment to glance around the room and take in the fact I was still at the hospital. An IV was hooked to my arm and something seemed to be wrapped around my head. I lifted my sore arm and bandaged fingers slowly to feel silk with a top knot plastered to my forehead.

He’d gotten my head scarf and my favorite dream catcher from home.

It made me smile and love him even more.

“Looks good,” I tried to tell him as he fiddled with the dream catcher, spinning it to make it hang so I would see it from the front view and not the side it kept trying to twist and hang from.

He immediately whirled around, dropping his arms.

“Hey, you’re awake.” His smile, the very smile I’d wanted to see most when I’d been held prisoner, spread. He hopped down from the chair he’d been standing on and grabbed my cup from the tray to hand it to me.

I took it and began to gulp, before I sighed, refreshed, and asked, “How did you know I needed a drink?”

His eyes crinkled with amusement. “You were licking your lips. I figured you were either thirsty or you’d gotten too much of a thrill from checking out my ass while I was hanging your dream catcher.”

I swallowed a more healthy-sized gulp before saying, “Now that you mention it, I did enjoy watching your ass.”

He winked and his lips twitched into a grin. “Of course you did, baby doll. Who wouldn’t?”

“Conceited much?” I murmured, though I didn’t think I’d ever loved him as much as I did in that moment. I’d just survived the worst three days of my life and there he sat, making me smile, genuinely smile.

Tears filled my eyes, and they weren’t distressed tears...or at least, they weren’t all distressed tears. I was just so happy and grateful to be alive, out of that hole, and with him again.

More tears flooded my cheeks. My chin quivered because I tried so hard to stop them but couldn’t. “I love you so much,” I sobbed.

His expression broke. “Jesus, baby doll,” he rasped before his features contorted with pain and his eyes went wet. He pressed his forehead to mine and seemed to breathe warmth into me. “I love you too. So fucking much.”

I cupped his cheek but was startled by the prickle of stubble. When I pulled my hand back, I studied this new look on him, blinking. “You haven’t shaved.”

He gave a watery laugh and wiped at his face. “Shaving was kind of the last thing on my mind after you went missing.”

I brought my fingers back to his cheek. “I kind of like it.”

Closing his eyes, he pressed his cheek deeper into my palm. “Then I’ll keep it this way.”

Studying his eyes further when he reopened them, I frowned. They were bloodshot and the bags under them seemed to be growing bags of their own. “When was the last time you slept?”

He shook his head. “I don’t think you understand, baby doll. You went missing. Totally fucking missing. No one knew where you were, who had taken you, if you were okay, or...” His voice cracked. “Or if you were even alive. It scared the shit out of me. I didn’t do much of anything but freak the fuck out while you were gone.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, wishing I could take away his anguish.

He blinked at me as if he couldn’t believe I would ever say that to him. “You’re sorry?” he spat incredulously. “You don’t have a single thing to be sorry for. I’m the one who’s sorry. I’ve been sitting here, whining about how scared I’ve been when you’re the one who just went through hell and back, and it was my fault he chose you. He—”

“How was that your fault?” I shook my head, confused.

“You told me to walk away that night.” Grief filled his face. “When I got into the fight with him.” He motioned to his black eye to remind me. “You told me to let it go. But I didn’t. And he ended up going to jail because I wouldn’t leave when you suggested it. And when he got out, he went after you because of me.”

“Colton, baby.” I stroked his newly roughened cheek gently. “Stop being a dumbass. He chose me because he was a racist son of a bitch who let his misery morph into hatred. He was just looking for a reason to snap. It was going to happen whether he ever met us or not. He was going to take some girl no matter what.”

He shook his head and huffed out a quiet sound of disagreement. “That’s what your dad said. But I still can’t help wishing he had taken someone else.”

My smile was full of agony. “Me too.”

As I watched him wipe his eyes, the last few days hit me all over again like a lead anvil.

“I can’t believe I...” A numb kind of shock filled me and I looked up at the ceiling, not sure what to feel. “I killed someone,” I stated aloud as if I needed to hear the words to really experience them. Never in my life had I thought I’d ever have the need or ability to murder. And yet I had.

It felt so unreal. When it finally hit me—I mean, really sank in—that I’d taken someone’s life, I was probably going to need a lot of therapy.

Colton began to stroke my arm. “I hate, absolutely hate, that you had to do that, but I’m glad you did. I’m glad you did whatever you had to do to stay alive, so you could make it back to me again, because the truth is, I’m not even remotely equipped to live without you right now.”

“But—” I started.

“No buts.” He set his fingers to my lips. “You did your part to make it back to me, now it’s my turn to step up to the plate and keep you here. I’m going to help you deal with this and get past it. We’re a team, remember. We’ll figure everything out together.”

“Okay,” I whispered. And for me, that was enough. It was everything I needed. “Thank you.”

Three Weeks Later

I woke with my nose pressed against Colton’s neck and my legs entwined with his. I’d been sleeping on top of him like this every night for the last week. Since I was a stomach sleeper and he was a back sleeper, it actually worked out better than you’d think. And believe it or not, he was way more comfortable than my mattress.

He’d stayed with me since I’d been discharged from the hospital. I’d had a couple nightmares but nothing as bad as what I’d had as a kid. My dream catcher, rabbit’s foot, monster repellent, and Colton himself had helped keep most of them at bay.

Today was a big day. I planned to return to college classes for the first time since the incident.

I liked thinking of it as the incident. It sounded a lot better than it really had been.

Glancing at the time, I realized I was up five minutes before my alarm was supposed to go off. I think my body was trying to tell me it was ready to return to some normal activities again.

I’d tried to convince Pick I was ready to get back to work too, but he told me he wouldn’t even consider it until the six-week mark. I was on paid leave until then, he insisted. Secretly, I had to admit, it was nice not to have to deal with bartending quite yet. It left me more time to spend with Colton.

Speaking of my aggravating boyfriend…

He’d tried to enact a break from sex too. He thought I needed a month at least for all my wounds to heal. But all my bruises had faded, my cuts and abrasions had scabbed closed, and my temperature was back to normal. I was one hundred percent healthy. Physically anyway. Mentally, I was still somewhat of a head case. I hated how clingy I’d become, not that Colton seemed to mind. I swear, the jerk actually ate up how close to him I had to be every time we left the apartment. He’d smile at me with that smug satisfaction of a man who knew he had his woman wrapped completely around his finger.

Really, it was too much.

Just not enough for me to stop relying on him so much just yet.

But today…today was a new day, and I was going to work on being a new, confident, self-sufficient woman. And I knew exactly how I was going to start.

This was how Julianna got her groove back.

Humming in my throat over how good my man smelled, I ran my nose up his throat and bent my knee, making sure my leg slid right over his cock as I did. And just as I planned, I felt him grow hard through his Jockey shorts. He groaned, stirring awake as I nipped his jaw with my teeth.

“Happy birthday, baby doll,” he murmured, still half out of it as his hand smoothed down my back to shape its way over my butt.

Oh, yeah. And today was my twenty-second birthday. Yet another reason I felt determined to make a new start.

“Thank you,” I told him, grinning as I sat up and shoved aside all the sheets tangled around us. “I’m ready for my first present.”

Straddling his hips, I pressed my core to him, grinding his blessedly warm hardness between our underwear.

He hissed appreciatively and arched up under me before realizing what he was doing. A second later, his eyes flared wide and he caught my hip as if to stop me. “Juli, wait. You—”

“No,” I said, touching a finger to his lips. My nails had grown back to a respectable length and I had to admit, I enjoyed seeing their purple-painted tips pressing against his pink mouth. “It’s my birthday, and I get what I want.” Then I leaned down to replace my finger with my lips, so I could say, “Right?” against his mouth.

Groaning again, with temptation this time, he tensed under me, his body straining not to react to me on top of him. Then his gaze met mine, and I could see the moment he folded. “Are you sure? If it’s too soon—”

“It’s not,” I assured him. “In fact…” As I sat back to peel his Jockey shorts down his legs and then remove my own underwear, I went on, “It’s actually a perfect time to try it bare. I’ve been on birth control long enough to forgo condoms if you want.” When his eyelids went droopy with desire, I grinned and traced my finger down the center of his chest until I was wrapping my fingers around the base of his erection. “So, what do you say, big guy?”

“I say…” He paused to blow out a long breath. “Damn, you make one compelling argument, that’s what I say.”

I laughed. “Good.” I sank down onto him slowly, letting him feel every centimeter of me as I enveloped him completely inside me. He made me feel so full and warm and delicious, I took a moment to close my eyes appreciatively and just enjoy the sensation.

When I opened them, he was watching me with awe.

“That’s what I’m talking about,” I told him.

When I began to move, swiveling my hips in a slow, lazy rhythm, Colton sat up, his eyes hungry, so he could kiss me and stroke his hands down my back. Caressing his way back up, he found my head scarf and knocked it off so my new hair weave could come free and spill down my back.

He’d been fascinated with my extensions since I’d gotten them to hide the bald patches, telling me it felt like he was with a whole new woman, and yet, he also eyed my new hair with a measure of worry, as if afraid I hated it, when honestly I kind of loved it. For me, it was a new start. I wasn’t the same person I’d been the morning I’d been stolen. Things in me had changed, and yet…some things would always be the same.

My affection for the man inside me was one thing that had morphed and grown, gaining a power and confidence that had helped me heal in ways I’d never guessed it could.

I moved on him a little faster, relishing the feel of him deep, rubbing against my core with pleasure.

“Fuck, baby doll.” He gripped my hips as his face went red from gritting his teeth and straining. “I think it’s been too long. I’m not going to last long.”

With a grin, I bounced faster and sank my fingers into his hair, gripping the strands hard. “You’ll last as long as I tell you to,” I said with a mischievous twinkle in my eyes, knowing my teasing words would bring out the challenge in him.

His gaze filled with surprise before he laughed and spun me around until I was on my back against the mattress and he was leaning over me. “Is that right?” he asked in a low, taunting voice.

“That’s right,” I dared. “Now give me all you got.”

So he did, heaving inside me, and staring into my eyes as he brought us both to the peak and then crested over the edge, dissolving into euphoria together.

“Dammit,” he muttered, collapsing on top of me, where I stroked his back and hair. “I was going to wait at least another week before whining and begging for this from you.”

“I know,” I said, kissing his hair. “But I was ready now.”

“Yeah.” He pulled up onto his elbows so he could grin down at me. “I could tell.” But then the light in his eyes faded a bit. “Are you sure you’re ready for everything today? If you need more time—”

“I don’t,” I assured him, kissing the tip of his nose. “I’m ready.”

He stared into my eyes a moment longer before nodding. “Then let’s do this. But first…here’s your real birthday present.”

With a boyish grin, he sat up and then draped his torso over the side of the bed so he could fish his arm under it. When he came up with a wrapped box, my mouth fell open.

“Sorry about the wrapping,” he offered ruefully, extending it my way. “Aspen made me do it myself.”

I shook my head, not expecting this. “You…Colton, you didn’t have to get me anything.” Seriously, just having him here with me every day was a present all on its own.

“Pfft.” He waved aside my rebuttal. “Just open it.” I swear, he was vibrating with excitement, anxious to see my reaction.

So I tore into the paper, telling him, “I love the wrapping paper. You actually did a good job.”

Once that was gone, I opened the lid of the white box that remained and blinked down at a pair of hot pink panties.

“Aren’t these my underwear?” I asked, confused.

He nodded, biting his lip. “I took them off you that first night we hooked up at the wedding.”

I gasped, my gaze flying to him. “But you said you threw them away.”

“Hmm…did I say that?’

“Oh! You…” I smacked his arm and laughed. “You lied to me.”

He chuckled and took them from my hand. “So, will you do me a favor and wear them for me today, and remember that no matter what kind of things have torn us apart, we’ve always found our way back together again. We’ll always find each other, no matter what.”

Tears of love sparkled in my eyes. “It would be my pleasure,” I told him, leaning in to kiss his mouth.

He kissed me back, but only just barely before he pulled away and demanded, “Okay, now open your real gift.”

When he motioned back to the white box on my lap, I looked down to realize there was something else underneath the next layer of tissue paper. So I folded it back to reveal a new dream catcher.

“Oh…holy wow,” I said, gaping at it. It was nicer than any other dream catcher I already owned.

“One more for your collection,” Colton said, watching me trace my fingers over the feathers and leather loom.

“I love it.” Looking up, I stared into his eyes and knew I was blessed. “Almost as much as I love you.”

We walked through campus hand-in-hand, each of us taking turns sipping from our favorite to-go mug. Colton had walked me to my first class and left me at the door with a kiss, only to be there waiting for me when it was over.

Someday, when I felt stronger and less apprehensive, I wouldn’t need that much support, but today I appreciated him being there, always where I needed him most.

I’d had no idea he would turn out to be such a rock when I’d first met him. But something told me he hadn’t known that either. I wasn’t the only one who’d gone through changes in the past few weeks. Something in Colton had matured. He didn’t seem to be all talk anymore. Now you could tell there was something there to back it up. And it only made him that much more appealing.

We didn’t say much as we started toward the history building together for our philosophy class. Up ahead, I spotted a familiar face and began to stop because I didn’t want to deal with Shaun. But as soon as he saw me, he stopped in his tracks as well and took off in the opposite direction.

“Huh,” I said gazing after him, pleasantly surprised but confused as to why he wanted to avoid me.

Colton chuckled. “Yeah, I’d run too if I were him.”

I turned to him, lifting my eyebrows.

“Your dad about ripped him a new asshole after you went missing, because someone…” he coughed into his hand and said Sasha’s name at the same time, “told him what Shaun had done to you while you were married. So yeah…after Shaun pissed himself, I think we all knew he’d never bother you again.”

“Wait.” I held up a hand. “When you say pissed himself…?”

Colton grinned. “I mean, a big wet spot appeared in his pants and ran down his leg before puddling around his shoe.”

My mouth fell open. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah. It was pretty epic. The only bright spot of that whole day. And I mean, big wet, bright spot.”

When he fell serious and somber, I said, “Well, it’s nice to know one good thing came from all this. Can’t say I’m going to miss Shauny boy.”

“Amen.” He silently handed me the cup, and I took a sip before giving it back. Then I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes, content, cuddling my cheek to the cloth of his coat and happier than I could possibly express, glad I was here with him and nowhere else.

This was the kind of relationship I’d always wanted and I hadn’t even known it.

Something about the word relationship popped open a memory into my head, though. And I found myself saying, “You didn’t fail me.”

Colton jolted and looked down at me. “What?”

I smiled up into his eyes. “Once upon a time you told me it was just as well we weren’t in a relationship, otherwise you would fail me.”

Unease darkened his eyes. “But it’s my fault—”

“No.” I tightened my fingers around his. “It’s the monster’s fault I was taken. It’s your fault I’ve been able to recover from that. I wouldn’t have been able to do all this today if it weren’t for you. Your steady, unfailing presence at my side, your patience and understanding, your wit and smile. You’ve healed me more than anyone else. So, no, you’ve never failed me. You saved me. Thank you for that.”

Face filling with emotion, he shook his head trying to deny it, but then he swallowed and leaned in to kiss me. Our lips touched and I smiled against his mouth until someone spoke his name.

Colton tensed against me and muttered, “Dammit.”

“Wha…?” I lifted my head, wondering what was wrong, only to spot his brother with a book bag slung over his shoulder heading our way to intercept us.

“Hey,” Brandt said in guarded greeting, smiling and yet hesitant as if he wasn’t sure if he was welcome among us or not.

Though I was the one he looked at, Colton answered for us. “Hey,” he said stiffly. “How’s the big bad graduate student today?”

Brandt flicked him a grateful glance. “Barely keeping my head above water.” And then he settled his gaze on me again. “How’re you doing?”

I sank closer to Colton, hating that question. But when he squeezed my fingers supportively, I nodded. “Better.”

“Good.” Brandt ran his hand through his hair as if still distressed, though. “Look, I owe you a huge apology, Juli. I was a complete ass when I found out about you and Colton.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “You were.”

He winced. “I’m sorry. I have no excuse for the way I behaved. It just caught me off guard and seemed so suspect because you two had purposely kept it from me. But still, I don’t know why I ever thought you might have settled for him for even a minute. Hell, he’s my brother; I know as well as anyone it’s impossible not to love the little shit.”

“Gee, thanks,” Colton said dryly.

Brandt and I shared our first grin in weeks.

Still smiling, I looked up at my boyfriend and squeezed his arm. “He’s right, though. You are impossible not to love.”

Much more pleased by my answer, Colton leaned down to press his lips to mine. “I know,” he murmured into my ear, forcing me to grin and punch his shoulder lightly to help him tame his ego. Except I kind of liked his ego, and I think he knew that.

Shaking his head at us, Brandt merely let out an amused chuckle before lifting his hand to wave. “You two have definitely proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that what’s between you is real and has nothing to do with me. So I’m glad you’re happy.”

When Colton and I glanced at each other, Brandt added, “Let me know if you guys ever need anything.”

He took off, patting Colton’s arm companionably as he passed. I glanced after him, trying to remember the crush I’d had on him but not really able to stir up the emotions. Then I looked up at Colton, and a rush of feelings flooded me. Yeah, what I felt for him had nothing at all to do with his brother.

This man right here had saved me in all kinds of ways. He’d taught me to be happy with myself and not care so much about other opinions, to give first impressions—especially the cocky egomaniac ones—a second chance, and to recognize a true relationship when I entered one. They weren’t just two people who looked good together but two people who worked well together.

He lifted his eyebrows, waiting for my reaction to the encounter we’d just had. I shrugged, not able to hate Brandt since he was Colton’s brother, but definitely not loving him either. “Meh,” I said. “I guess he can be your best man if you insist.”

Surprise filled Colton’s face and his mouth even parted in shock before I realized what I’d just said.

Hell, I think I’d pretty much just proposed to him.

I opened my mouth to somehow talk my way out of my inference, but he only smirked and pressed his finger to my lips before grinning. “Deal.”

COLTON’S EPILOGUE

Two & a Half Years Later

My wedding day started just shy of seven o’clock on a warm June morning, about two weeks after my twentieth birthday. It was the summer break before my senior year of college. My soon-to-be wife had graduated two years earlier and was actually working for Ten’s architectural firm, in the accounting department. And we’d been living in our own place—no other roommates—for about eighteen months now.

I liked to tease her about becoming my nerdy, numbers-crunching accountant wife while I peeled off her conservative cotton panties and stripped her bare. She’d just blink at me dryly and then demand I go down on her in reconciliation. I didn’t exactly mind: eating my favorite pussy wasn’t the hardship for me she seemed to think it was.

But this morning, there was no stripping or pussy. I woke on Noel and Aspen’s lumpy, too-short couch to two-year-old Lucy Olivia and five-year-old Beau watching me curiously. I swear, their faces were like two inches from mine. It freaked me out so bad I nearly pissed myself.

“Holy shit!” I yelped, jerking upright and slamming my hand to my chest. “What the hell?”

Little kids should never be allowed to do that to people.

“It’s your wedding day,” Beau announced, popping around the room while his sister crawled into my lap and demanded I snuggle with her.

Yawning, I cuddled her close and then breathed in the smell of breakfast cooking from the kitchen. “Yeah,” I said, my brain not quite able to function further than that. “My wedding day.”

I’d much rather have woken up in Juli’s arms, much the same way I had for the past two and a half years with her lovely figure draped across me, but Sasha and Tyla would’ve had my balls on a platter if I’d dared to sneak a visit to my bride before I saw her in the church today. So yeah…getting the shit scared out of me on my wedding day worked too. It definitely woke me up, anyway.

Lucy Olivia could only snuggle a few seconds before both she and Beau were tugging on my hands, urging me to follow them into the kitchen, where Noel and Aspen were at the stove together, talking quietly to themselves as they fried my favorite, French toast.

“There’s the groom!” Aspen cheered when she saw me. “Are you ready for today?”

She’d healed completely from her postnatal depression, and actually, she and Juli had attended group therapy together for a while. They’d gotten close over the past few years, but not quite as close and Julianna and Sarah had gotten. That friendship was what surprised me the most. Julianna and Sarah had grown as thick as thieves. Sarah was actually going to be a bridesmaid today.

“Sure,” I answered, sitting at the table and yawning some more. It already felt as if Julianna were my wife. To me, this whole wedding business was just a formality. But I knew the women were making a big deal about it, so…okay. I’d be excited or whatever.

Mostly I just wanted people to stop telling me I couldn’t see Juli until such-and-such a time, like when she was walking down the aisle. Fuckers. Life was better when I got to see her whenever I wanted. So I was just ready to get to that point again.

My niece and nephew flanked me on either side, chattering animatedly, while Noel and Aspen served us breakfast. I smiled, thinking back fondly to when I’d lived here with them as their legal ward.

I didn’t want to return to those days; I liked where I was now, and who I was with, who I’d become. But I still felt a bit sentimental, realizing this probably was the last time I’d ever eat breakfast with them as one of their immediate family. I’d been raised with them since I was eight, they were my secondary parents. I’d always remember the amazing foundation they’d provided for me. But after today, all that changed. I was no longer their responsibility. I’d just be their younger brother and uncle to their kids.

It was about time things returned to how they were always meant to be.

After breakfast, I showered and changed into my tux. I was standing in front of the mirror tacked to the closet door of Beau’s room cursing over my bow tie, when a voice asked, “Need some help?”

I dropped my hands gratefully from my throat and spun toward Aspen. “God, yes, please.”

With a smile and eyes sparkling as if she was actually honored to assist me, she stepped into the room and lifted her hands to my throat. I lifted my chin and bent slightly at the knees to make it easier for her.

As she began to twist the material expertly, she said, “I feel as if I should say something important right now.”

I chuckled. “Like what? That you can’t believe your little boy’s all grown up and about to get married?”

She huffed out an amused sound and straightened the bow tie. “Well, you are. And I’m so very proud and pleased by the man you’ve become.”

When she blinked rapidly, I had to clear my throat. Stupid dust in my windpipe.

“Want to know something crazy?” I asked as she dropped her hands, finished with her task.

“What’s that?” Her eyebrows arched as if she thought I was going to say something flirty and funny like I’d always wanted to marry her when I was eight or something.

But what I said was, “I’m kind of glad my real mom sucked ass because it brought me here to you. I liked having you for a mom so much better.”

“Oh… Dammit, Colton,” she muttered, waving a hand in front of her face before she burst into tears. “I promised myself I wasn’t going to get all nostalgic and cry today, but you’ve already ruined that. Come here.”

As soon as she opened her arms for me, I stepped forward and folded her into a huge, encompassing hug. The top of her head fit perfectly under my chin.

Sniffing, she pulled away to look up at me with a sad, but proud smile. “I know I wasn’t always there for you like I wanted to be—”

Stopping her right there, I put my hands over hers and said, “Yes, you were. Even when you were sick”—and thank God she was finally and completely over that phase— “you were always still there, and you were always the best mother I’ve ever had.”

“I love you,” she sobbed, tears spilling down her cheek as she reached up to cup my cheek. “You’ll always be my Colton.”

I smiled back, really feeling the dust clog my throat now. “And you’ll always be my Aspen. I love you too.”

“Hey, what’s all this?” Noel’s voice came from the doorway. “You moving in on my wife, little brother? I thought you were about to get your own today?”

Ignoring his joke, I turned Aspen so that we were both facing him while one of my arms went around her shoulders. “Did I ever thank you for finding this woman right here and roping her into our lives?”

“No,” he murmured thoughtfully. Then he winked at Aspen. “But I know I did good, anyway.”

“Oh,” she muttered, blushing madly as she waved a bashful hand to stop us. “You two.” Easing out from under my arm, she went to Noel to hug him. “I think I’m the lucky one who found you guys.”

I drove to the church not long after that without Noel’s family.

Brandt, my best man, was already there, waiting outside for me.

“About time,” he called as I strolled up the walk to the front doors. “Sarah’s been in there with the rest of them trying to doll your wife up for the past twenty minutes.”

“Hey, I needed to make an entrance,” I told him with a wink, frowning when I spotted the boutonniere pinned to his lapel already. It just didn’t seem right that he got his flower before I did. I hated being second. “Where’d you get that?”

He rolled his eyes but took my arm, leading me inside. “This way.”

Inside, we found the wedding coordinator, and she got me all flowered up only for Julianna’s father to come storming my way.

“Where the hell have you been, kid? We thought you were going to be a no-show.”

I blinked at him, confused, before glancing at my watch. “I’m not even late. Why is everyone else so freaking early?”

“Because we’re antsy and nervous. My baby girl doesn’t get married every day, you know.” He scowled even harder as he examined me from head to toe. “Why the hell are you so calm and collected? You’re about to commit yourself completely to someone else for the rest of your life. Are you sure you realize what all you’re signing up for?”

“Of course I do,” I said, frowning at him. “But I committed myself to her completely a long time ago. Today is just a show for everyone else.”

Juli and I had survived some big shit together, and we’d come out the other end stronger as a couple. I would never tell her this—since she’d spent the last year planning today—but this wedding just wasn’t as big a deal to me as continuing the rest of my life with her was.

Mr. Radcliffe gazed at me a moment before shaking his head and slapping me companionably on the back. “Good answer, son. Good answer.”

And so time progressed. Guests arrived, family and friends filing into the church. My two groomsmen, Ten and Noel, joined me and Brandt, and we were forced to pose for a crap load of pictures in between my big brothers teasing me about becoming an old married man.

When it was time to line up at the front of the church, I finally started to feel my first stirring of nerves. My entire extended family sat on the groom’s side: Pick Ryan, his wife, Eva, and their four children, Brandt’s brother-in-law, Mason, his Reese, and their twins, Knox and Felicity and their two, Asher and Remy and their little tomboy, Quinn (or as Juli still called him: Dr. Melt Me), his wife, Zoey, and their two boys. Then Caroline and Aspen who stood at the back, waiting to help their kiddos Teagan and Beau walk up the aisle as flower girl and ring bearer, while Lucy O loudly begged to go with them.

I grinned and winked at Julianna’s grandma Cicely, who’d insisted we add broom-jumping to the ceremony. She winked back, and I knew if she’d been close enough, she would’ve pinched my ass like she did every time I got too close to her.

Sarah was the first bridesmaid to wheel down the aisle. I glanced at Brandt and had to roll my eyes at the lovesick grin on his face. Pathetic. No way did I look that dorky when I saw Juli. No way.

Then Tyla and Sasha made their trip, followed by Beau and Teagan, who had a little too much fun throwing her petals straight up above her and Beau’s heads so they kept raining down on the two of them and causing him to scowl and snap at her to stop.

Then everyone pushed to their feet in respect, the music changed, and the two ushers opened the back doors.

Julianna stood in the entrance, holding on to her father’s arm in a glittering white dress that made her look like a Disney princess. Her gaze shifted to mine, and that’s when it all hit me full force in the chest.

Suddenly, I understood.

This was big. This was forever. This was…it was the most powerful moment of my life.

I was marrying my best friend.

I was honored. I was blessed. I was happy.

THE END

THANK YOU

The Bestest Friends Ever

Lindsay

Lauren

Ada

I’m pretty sure you’ll never realize how much you mean to me. No matter where you go or what you do in your lives, a little piece of you will always be protected safely in my heart and cherished forever. I’m always happy to hear from you. Thank you for being you.

My Family

Kurt, Lydia, Sadie, and all the others!

You guys are my home and my foundation. I couldn’t do anything or be anything without you. You keep me going and make me feel loved. Thank you.

My Beta Beauties

Lauren, Lindsay, Sasha, Ashley, Ciara, Tyla, Amisha (the blurb queen!), Amanda, Alaina, Shi Ann, and Ana.

You took the time to read my story in its worst possible shape and give me your honest feedback. I can’t even properly express my appreciation for that! Thank you.

Julianna Ratcliffe

Thank you for letting me borrow your name for my heroine just because I liked it! And then thanks for not getting upset at all when I changed the spelling of Ratcliffe to Radcliffe in my book because I’m such a Harry Potter fan!

The Editor

Stephanie Parent

Best editor ever. Enough said!

Proofreaders

Judy’s Proofreading

Shelley at 2 Booklovers Reviews

Melinda Lazar

I’m so jealous of your eagle eyes. Thank you for catching what no one else did.

Viner Inspirations

Danny Gonzales

(And Alaina for clueing me into the Vine Universe…because I was clueless before she told me about it)

Bloggers

Thank you to Lisa Filipe at Tasty Book Tours for always making time for me in the promotional department, and for putting together the most kickass release day blitz. And thank you to all the wonderful bloggers and reviewers who signed up and supported this story! Linda Kage would be completely unknown without you guys.

And God.

Thank you. You rule!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Linda grew up on a dairy farm in the Midwest as the youngest of eight children. Now she lives in Kansas with her husband, two daughters, their nine cuckoo clocks, and a cat named Holly. Her life’s been blessed with lots of people to learn from and love. Writing’s always been a major part of her world, and she’s so happy to finally share some of her stories with other romance lovers.

For more information, please visit her at her website:

www.LindaKage.com

Consolation Prize

Copyright © 2016 by Linda Kage

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, businesses or establishments, events, or locales, is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved. No part of this book—except in the case of brief quotations in reviews—may be used, reproduced, or TRANSLATED without written permission of the author.

Contact Information: linda@lindakage.com

Publishing History

Linda Kage, November 2016

Credits

Cover Artist: Kage Covers

Editor: Stephanie Parent

Proofreader: Judy and Shelley

Published in the United States of America

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Title Page

Blurb

Dedication

Author’s Note

Colton’s Chapter 1

Julianna’s Chapter 2

Julianna’s Chapter 3

Julianna’s Chapter 4

Colton’s Chapter 5

Colton’s Chapter 6

Julianna’s Chapter 7

Julianna’s Chapter 8

Julianna’s Chapter 9

Colton’s Chapter 10

Colton’s Chapter 11

Julianna’s Chapter 12

Julianna’s Chapter 13

Colton’s Chapter 14

Julianna’s Chapter 15

Julianna’s Chapter 16

Julianna’s Chapter 17

Julianna’s Chapter 18

Colton’s Chapter 19

Julianna’s Chapter 20

Julianna’s Chapter 21

Julianna’s Chapter 22

Julianna’s Chapter 23

Julianna’s Chapter 24

Colton’s Chapter 25

Julianna’s Chapter 26

Julianna’s Chapter 27

Colton’s Chapter 28

Colton’s Chapter 29

Julianna’s Chapter 30

Julianna’s Chapter 31

Colton’s Chapter 32

Julianna’s Chapter 33

Brandt’s Chapter 34

Colton’s Chapter 35

Julianna’s Chapter 36

Colton’s Epilogue

Thank You

About the Author

Copyright