The Price of Mason

Forbidden Men Finale

Linda Kage

The Price of Mason

Copyright © 2018 by Linda Kage

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses or establishments, events, or locales, is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved. No part of this book—except in the case of brief quotations in reviews—may be used, reproduced, or translated without written permission of the author.

Contact Information: linda@lindakage.com

Publishing History

Linda Kage, November 2018

ISBN-13: 978-0463731031

Smashwords Edition

Credits

Cover & Formatting: Kage Covers

Editor: Summer @ Red Pen Revolution

Proofreader: Shelley @ 2 Book Lovers Reviews

Proofreader: Judy @ Judy’s Proofreading

Created with Vellum Created with Vellum

Dedicated to every person

who asked for Mason’s point of view,

like my Italian fan, Claudia Mosconi.

I’m so sorry it took this long to finish,

but here it is at last, just for you.

I absolutely adore you guys for wanting more.

Thank you and big hugs, from Linda.

Part One

The Price of Mason

Teresa

Ellamore, Illinois

Teresa Nolan clutched a plain manila folder to her chest as if it were some kind of life preserver. In a way, she guessed it was. The contents consisted of a petition for a name change, an order to show cause for the change, her social security card, birth certificate, and driver’s license. All things to help her become someone new.

Someone safe.

Next to her, her mom shifted uncomfortably in the hard plastic chair just outside the county clerk’s office. “How long have we been waiting?”

Teresa consulted her phone as a new text popped up. “Seven minutes,” she answered, checking the time before opening the message.

E: Is it done yet?

Sighing over the persistent nagging from her cousin, she wrote back.

Teresa: Soon. We’re at the courthouse now. Waiting.

To which she received an immediate response.

E: So there’s still time to change your mind?

Teresa turned the phone off and stuffed it back into her purse. She wasn’t going to change her mind, no matter how much E insisted this was a bad idea. Rubbing the back of her neck, she trailed her fingers over the scar where Jeremy had cut her. If she hadn’t turned at the last second, that scar would’ve ended up on the front of her throat, and she probably wouldn’t be alive right now.

Staying alive seemed more important than keeping her name. Even her parents agreed. So, no, her mind was not going to change. She was doing the right thing.

She hoped.

Okay, maybe she had no idea what the right thing really was. But she was still doing this. She had to do something to protect herself. And every few seconds when the doubts rose, she just swallowed them determinedly back down.

Her mother leaned toward her. “You saw the packet in the mail this morning from that college, right?”

That college.

Teresa nodded, her indecision bubbling up her throat again, tasting bitterly like panic. The package hadn’t been from the university she’d always planned on going to in her hometown but from some no-name community college halfway across the country, near her aunt. After she and her mom were done here at the courthouse, Teresa planned to head home and start packing so she could move hundreds of miles away and into the loft above her aunt’s garage, where she would attend classes at that college, using her new identity to remain far-far away from her psycho ex-boyfriend, Jeremy, who’d tried to kill her.

Her knee began to bounce as she remembered the look in Jeremy's eyes when he’d told her no one would ever love her the way he did. She’d never forget the light that had glinted off his knife or how terrified she’d been when he’d slashed his blade toward her.

Her mom set a reassuring hand on Teresa’s thigh, making her jump and then stop bouncing her knee. “It’s okay, sweetie. We’re doing the right thing.”

Teresa nodded again, the action more certain than her resolve.

“We’re going to send you somewhere he won’t find you. And then, as soon as the trial’s over and he’s locked away for good, we’ll change all this back and you can come home again. Okay?”

Teresa gave a third nod, this one less enthusiastic. She didn’t have quite as much faith in the “temporary” part of the plan as her parents did. Jeremy’s father was a powerful attorney. The odds of putting him away forever didn’t feel as if they were in her favor.

And what if Jeremy did go free? What if this moving away, hiding, and changing her identity business ended up not being temporary? What if he just found her, and she had to run again, or he actually succeeded in killing her the next time? What if she was never Teresa Nolan again?

That was what scared her most: losing her identity forever. That bastard had already taken her security, now he was stealing her name too? It wasn’t fair.

She rubbed the prickled skin rising on her arms. Maybe her cousin had been right; this plan was stupid. Life could be dangerous, no matter where she went or what she called herself. Why was she running anyway? She wasn’t the running type; she didn’t own a single pair of jogging shoes. And if she did die, at least she’d have her own name on her headstone.

Before she could stress further and back out of this crazy idea completely, the door to the clerk’s office opened and a middle-aged man peered into the hall. “Miss Nolan?”

Teresa’s heart leaped. That could’ve very well been the last time anyone ever addressed her as Miss Nolan again.

Her mom took her hand and stood, urging Teresa along. Teresa gulped. This was really happening. Her life was changing irrevocably. She wasn’t even going to be Teresa anymore. A month from now, she’d be…she’d be…

Well, who knew what she’d be?

Mason

Waterford, Florida

One Month Later

Typically, I didn’t mind dogs. They were cool little creatures who just wanted to be loved and fed. No beef with that.

But I couldn’t say I was extremely fond of the miniature brown fluff ball with a pink bow in its fur as it pranced around my knees and yipped at me with an incessantly high-pitched bark. Then it snapped at the leash that hung from my neck, gagging me.

To be fair, the leash probably belonged to the mongrel, as I’m sure did the bejeweled collar that at present hugged my own throat.

Honestly, I guess I couldn’t blame the mutt at all. It would confuse me too if some strange dude in nothing but a red Speedo was wearing my things as he knelt between the open thighs of my naked owner and licked her pussy. I got you, pooch. I really, truly understood; this was some weird shit. There was no denying that. But, gah, give a guy a break. I was trying to get a job done.

The owner finally—thank God—grew tired of her pet’s commotion, and called, “Here, Gidget! Up here, girl.”

Complying, Gidget hopped onto the deck chair and danced in a circle on the woman’s bare thigh until she found the perfect spot to plant her butt. Tongue lolling in exhausted contentment, Gidget continued watching me go down on her owner from an entirely new angle, which was eyeball to eyeball with me. I blinked, unable to tear my gaze from the dog’s, and wondered if I was stuck in the twilight zone.

Around us, the sun blazed against my naked back from a bright azure sky as the water from the in-ground pool three feet away lapped lazily against its sidewalls. Grit from the stone patio under us bit into my knees while my tongue started to cramp and my jaw began to lock.

If my client could just come sometime this century, that’d be great.

I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep this up, especially when Gidget leaned forward and tried to imitate me by licking the side of my face and right into my ear, giving me a wet willy.

Oh, God. Really, dog, really?

It was a good thing I was only here for oral and not penetration; I’m pretty damn certain I wouldn’t have been able to get it up at this point if I tried.

When a nearby phone rang—the client’s, not mine—I lifted my head, beyond ready for a break, and wiped the back of my hand across my mouth.

But my client pursed her lips with disapproval and lifted her eyebrows over the top of her sunglasses. “I didn’t say you could stop.” She gave a tug on the leash, jerking my face back between her legs.

Jesus.

I caught my hand on the ground, scraping my palm against the abrasive stone to brace myself and keep from impaling her clit with my nose.

Okay, then. I guess I was supposed to keep going while she talked on the phone. Message received.

She answered her call, and I went back to licking, slipping my tongue between fleshy folds and massaging the little muscle inside. Her musky scent clogged my nostrils while her flavor filled my mouth. She was definitely turned on, even though that confounded me. I couldn’t find anything erotic about any of this.

It must’ve been a friend on the other end of the line. They talked about setting up a lunch date to go shopping together. My client mentioned her husband wouldn’t be home until Tuesday, and then she let out a throaty laugh as she ran her fingers through Gidget’s fur before bumping her hips sharply against my mouth, nearly cutting the inside of my lip open with my teeth, as she reminded me not to stop my services.

I have no idea how, but I think talking on the phone while I ate her out turned her on more. Maybe she had some kind of voyeuristic fetish and this felt like her friend was somehow watching her get off. I don’t know. But she grew wetter and her body began to strain against me, the muscles in her thighs squeezing around my face while her grip on my leash pulled the collar tighter around my throat.

Strangely enough, the inflection in her voice remained the same. I’m sure her friend on the other end of the line had no idea what was happening to her.

This was definitely one controlled woman.

Then again, that shouldn’t surprise me. Most of my clients were controlled, or rather, maybe I should say controlling. Controlling, cold, calculating, and powerful ice queens.

This particular client didn’t like things in her vagina—toys, fingers, tongues, dicks. She was all about the clitoris. But she was close, so freaking close, and I was desperate here, beyond ready to be done with this session. Very aware of just how many nerve-endings lined the entrance of the vagina, I swiped my knuckle around the rim, toying with her but not entering. And in response, her bent legs shot out straight on either side of me.

“Oh!” she gasped. “I, uh, I gotta call you back, Deb. I gotta…gotta message coming in on the other line.” Then, tossing the phone down, she grabbed my hair roughly. “Oh, shit,” she muttered, slamming my face against her hard. The collar tightened even more as she panted. “God…dammit. Fucking Christ. Get it, boy. Right there. Right…there!”

I kept licking, swirling my tongue and teasing her vagina with my finger, even as my air supply ran thin and my head went woozy. Black spots danced in my vision, and my jaw muscles burned like a bastard.

We were on the home stretch now. No stopping until we crossed the finish line.

Push through the pain, Lowe. Almost there, I chanted in my head. Just a little more.

When a gasp and a grunt signaled her release, I licked her through the lack of oxygen, urging her on, probably with more gusto than I normally would’ve in the hopes she’d finish quicker and finally let up some slack on the collar.

And finally, thank God, she settled. I pulled away, gulping in huge drags of wonderful, life-giving August air.

Holy shit, breathing was awesome. My chest heaved from the relief.

On the woman’s lap, Gidget grew confused and started to dance around, yapping again.

Meanwhile, I ripped the collar from my throat and ran my hand over the base of my neck, trying to rub away the impression of being strangled.

Oblivious to my distress, my client gave a satisfied moan from where she lay slumped, limp and boneless, in her deck chair. “Well, hell, child. I heard you were good, but that… That was fucking fantastic.”

It better well have been; it’d almost killed me.

I dropped my hand so she wouldn’t notice how much I’d hated the collar, and I flashed her a megawatt smile when she lifted her face my way. Couldn’t let her see any discomfort; had to keep up good PR if I wanted to land myself another gig with her or maybe even induce referrals.

“You’re the one who made it good,” I lied.

She laughed huskily as if she realized I was feeding her a line but enjoyed the flattery anyway. “Now I know why they call you the best.”

Damn straight.

When she ran her bare foot up my knee and along my thigh until her toes were tickling my abs, the muscles in my stomach tightened against the touch. It was overly familiar as if she owned me, which for the next five minutes, I guess she did. But I wasn’t a fan of the reminder.

“Is there anything else I can do for you?” I asked, rising up a little higher onto my knees so I could shift my face closer to hers, and in the process, gently dislodge her foot from me. “Because I’m here to please.”

“Yes, you certainly are.” She reached out and cupped my jaw. “Jesus, you really are a pretty thing, aren’t you? And young. So young.” She nearly drooled and licked her lips over the young part.

I didn’t answer, just let her look her fill. She was paying me enough to stare at anything she liked, so I remained patient as the tilt of her head let me know she was examining my face, then down my chest. When her chin lowered as if she’d paused her attention on the Speedo, I held my breath, hoping she didn’t realize it wasn’t as full as it probably should’ve been. I mean, what was the possibility she wouldn’t get offended over the fact that I had most definitely not become aroused after licking her out? And would it bother her if she did realize how limp I was?

A bead of sweat ran down the side of my face. Desperate to divert her attention, I set my hand on her knee.

She jumped, surprised by the contact I’d initiated without her instruction.

“Are you sure I can’t do anything else for you?” My fingers slowly coasted up her thigh, teasing. “Like reapply your lotion? I’d hate for all this perfect skin to burn.”

“No. No, that’s not necessary.” She caught my hand, stopping me to let me know playtime was over. She didn’t approve of me making a move she hadn’t orchestrated. I wasn’t sure if she’d noticed my deflated package or not, but she didn’t mention it, so I guessed it didn’t matter, especially when she patted my cheek and turned all business. “I have another engagement to get to, precious. But you definitely earned this.” Producing a roll of bills from who knew where, she tucked the cash behind my ear as someone might hold a pencil there. “I look forward to our next rendezvous.”

“Definitely.” I rose to my feet because payment always meant dismissal. Lifting the cash to show my gratitude, I added, “Thank you.”

“No. Thank you.” She remained sprawled in the Adirondack chair, naked with her legs draped open and her shaved pussy still gleaming wet from my tongue. “Just leave the Speedo on the sink when you change, darling. It’s my husband’s.”

I nodded, feeling sympathy for the cuckolded man. I bet he would just love to learn a male prostitute had been wearing his swimming suit, which is probably exactly why my client had instructed me to put it on in the first place. It hadn’t taken long to learn that the women who employed me tended to have quite a malicious streak. Yet another reason why I made sure never to piss any of them off.

“Yes, ma’am.” Saluting her, I turned toward the pool house to retrieve my own clothes. Gidget scampered after me, following me inside.

“Hey, pooch,” I murmured as soon as we were alone. I knelt and scratched her behind the ears because suddenly she seemed like a fellow war survivor and maybe even my new best friend. “You as traumatized by all that as I am?” I asked quietly.

Gidget yapped. I took it as a yes.

“Yeah.” I huffed out a breath and straightened to tug my clothes back on as fast as I could. “I don’t blame you. I wanted to run as soon as I saw that leash. No wonder why you guys struggle so much when humans put collars on you.”

Once dressed in my own clothes, I flung the used Speedo onto the lip of the sink and toed on my flip-flops, only to give the dog one last scratch goodbye. “I have a feeling we’ll meet again, but if we don’t,” I blew out a breath and whispered, “then thank God.”

I never purposely sabotaged myself. I gave every client a hundred and ten percent and I was always careful to execute my services exactly how they specified. Call it having a little pride in my work or whatever you like, but I busted my ass to be good at what I did. I had repeat clientele going on ninety-five percent (one had died and three had moved out of the area). And I got paid well for it. So living up to my own reputation was important to me.

But that didn’t mean I loved my duties. I didn’t like being treated like a possession, like something that could be put on a leash and fondled whenever and wherever they liked as if they had every right. I didn’t like being the toy they played with while their husbands were away, the puppet they commanded to perform, the object they tossed aside when they were done with me. I didn’t like being the dirty little secret they kept from spouses and children. I didn’t like not being able to be my own damn person.

The lack of freedom bothered me the most, and that collar had felt like a great big bitch slap, reminding me I was nothing. A filthy, worthless man-whore, bound by the cash of the rich and depraved.

I wanted out. I wanted out of this life so bad.

And trust me, I knew what kind of fucked-up, ironic mess that made me. I strove to do my best at something I hated and craved to stop. It made no sense. I could easily end all this by messing up one session with one client badly enough that none of the others would even want to call for me again. But whenever the idea tempted me, the next thought I had of losing all that extra income would send me into a panic, and I found myself continuing to be the best I could so they’d keep asking for me.

This was my life in a nutshell. I constantly felt pulled in two directions—feeling the need to do it and do it well in order to protect the ones I loved most, all the while, just wanting to escape so I could save my own soul—always wondering when the entire situation would just tear me in half, leaving me broken beyond repair.

I drove myself crazy with never being able to commit to a single decision and just stick with it, needing this and yet needing that too. But I was always so torn between what I wanted, what I thought was right, and what I felt was best for my loved ones. The three lines would cross and tangle so much that I got confused about which one was which until I grew petrified and believed that no matter what I did it would be the wrong choice. It seemed like I could only get everyone important to me hurt.

What was worse, the back-and-forth indecision in me was draining and frustrating and it usually led me into messing everything up anyway. That’s why this isn’t just my story about what happened.

These are my confessions.

Confession #1: I was a sucky son.

Once I pulled into my own driveway, I killed the engine of my Jeep and sat in silence, scrutinizing my house. Home sweet home. It was only a rental but this place was the longest I’d ever lived anywhere, plus it was my escape from reality.

I should probably think about painting it. And I needed to mow the lawn again. More importantly, I needed to water the lawn. It looked brown and pathetic sandwiched between the other immaculate green yards in the neighborhood. Plus the cracks in the concrete front walk were horrendous.

I knew I couldn’t count on my landlady to take care of anything. She’d ignored all requests for repairs since I’d told her I wasn’t going to have sex with her again.

Like I’d said, my clients tended to be cold, calculating ice queens: piss them off, and they made sure you felt the repercussions. On top of refusing repairs, Patricia had raised the rent twice in the past year. Not enough to entice us to move—not that we could with my mom’s dismal credit rating—or for me to fuck her again, but enough to make me hate her more with each passing breath.

Nausea rose as I barely glanced toward the right, at her mansion. The things I’d done in her house… The things she’d made me do…

Shuddering over the memories, I opened the door of my Jeep and lugged myself out into the warm afternoon. I entered through the kitchen and immediately veered toward the back bathroom. The door never latched properly, so I didn’t even bother trying to shut it.

One more repair I needed to add to my ever-growing to-do list.

Emptying half a tube of toothpaste onto my toothbrush, I jammed the goopy bristles into my mouth and scrubbed with a vengeance, paying particular attention to my tongue. Yet even as my mouth filled with minty freshness, I couldn’t remove everything I’d just done. There was no paste strong enough to eradicate shame and self-disgust.

I spit, then scrubbed some more. After rinsing with a cup of water and gargling with mouthwash, I layered more toothpaste onto my brush and started the process all over again. I could no longer taste her, but I swear I could still feel her in my mouth, flooding my veins and invading my soul, infiltrating everything I was and defiling me.

“Mason?” a voice asked from the opening of the bathroom.

Startled, I spun around and straightened, lifting my eyebrows questionably at my mother who stood in the doorway. “Mmm?”

When our eyes met, her cheeks went pink as if she knew exactly why I was so vigorously brushing my teeth. She shifted her gaze away and self-consciously played with a piece of dark hair at the back of her neck that had come loose from her ponytail.

“I was going to go get some groceries. Do you… Do you happen to have some extra cash?”

Turning back to the sink, I spat out the last of the toothpaste and remained hovered over the vanity a second longer, closing my eyes until I straightened again. “Yeah, just a second.”

I dug my hand into my pocket and, while my fingers were still obscured from view, I managed to peel three bills away from the rest of the roll my client had given me so Mom couldn’t see exactly how much I had on me. She eyed the Benjamins hungrily as soon as they came into view, making me wonder if she was really going grocery shopping or not.

“You taking Sarah with you?” I asked.

If she said yes, I knew there was no way she’d stray from the plan. With Sarah in tow, she’d definitely only go straight to the grocery store and straight home. She didn’t like to lug the wheelchair a ton of places. But if she said no—

She glanced at me as if I’d just asked the most ridiculous question. “No.”

Well then, there was no telling where she was really going or what she was really buying with my money. She’d had a drug problem a couple years back but she’d sworn to me she was clean now. I had no proof otherwise, but sometimes I couldn’t help but wonder: where did all the money I gave her truly go? I’d taken over most of the utility payments and covered Sarah’s medical expenses, school, and clothing. But Mom had two jobs and she still never had enough. I couldn’t outright accuse her of anything but I could never really trust her, either.

“Just be back before five, okay? I can’t watch Sarah any later than that. I gotta work tonight.”

Mom paused. “At the Country Club?”

The fact that she even asked me that set my teeth on edge. I was a valet at the Country Club’s golf course, restaurant, casino, and hotel. That was technically my only job. But every time she made a reference to my other source of income, I swear something in me died. She’d never come right out and addressed the subject, never tried to stop me from what I did, never mentioned a single censorious, motherly thing about it. All she did was ask me for more money.

I didn’t hate my mother. I couldn’t hate her if I tried. She was my freaking mom. She’d stuck around when everyone else in our lives had split. She was by no means perfect but she did try. A single mother, she held two jobs and made sure my sister was fed and clean. Sarah and I knew she loved us—in her own way—so it seemed selfish to wish for some kind of June Cleaver. But the mere fact that she obviously knew about my side profession and had never once tried to save me from it kind of stung. Made me think the money was more important to her than my damned, filthy soul.

The money was important, though, so important I probably wouldn’t have stopped if she had begged me to, but I would’ve at least appreciated her efforts. More than she ever knew.

“Yeah. The Country Club,” I answered, then rinsed out my toothbrush and put it away. “Where’s Sarah?”

“Watching TV in the living room.” Her feet shifted as if she were antsy to escape.

We didn’t have an easy, comfortable relationship. We hadn’t for two years now, when I’d started taking money from women in exchange for sex.

I blamed myself, always wondering if we would be closer today if I’d never started what I had. So I’d begun this strange habit of prolonging each of our encounters as long as I could, gauging her level of happiness and hoping someday we’d find some kind of mother-son connection.

“Could you get me some more soap at the store?” I asked because I wanted to ensure she actually went grocery shopping, and also because I was honestly running low.

When you had to wash off various women, you tended to go through a lot of soap.

Mom paused as if she knew exactly why I needed more soap before she gave a jerky nod. “S-sure. No problem.”

“Thanks. And you remember I start classes in the morning, right?”

She blinked as if she had forgotten, but her answer was, “Of course. Did you need me to pick up some school supplies, too?”

I shook my head. “Nah, I’ve already got that taken care of, but thanks. I was just reminding you I’d be gone more and won’t be able to help so much with Sarah.”

“That’s right.” She pressed her palm to her forehead and winced as if the stress of that was too much to bear. “I’m going to have to find another evening sitter for her soon. Dammit.”

“Want me to find one?” I offered.

She glanced at me but then shook her head. “No. It’s fine. I’ve already started working on it. I got an ad posted in the college classifieds. I just forgot to put one in the city newspaper, too.”

When I nodded, neither of us had anything else to mention, but I refused to be the one to say goodbye first.

Mom shifted her weight again, brushed some hair out of her eyes, and glanced everywhere but at me. “So, are you nervous?” she asked. “About returning to school again?”

I was, but not in the way she probably thought. She most likely assumed I was worried I’d be out of practice since I hadn’t done the school scene for a while. I’d graduated high school two years earlier. At the time, there’d been no money or prospect for college. But now, not only did I have the cash to afford any class I wanted from the local community college, but I also had the renewed determination to make something more of my life.

This creeping sensation had been assailing me lately. I kept worrying that if I stayed on the path I was following, I’d end up self-destructing. I needed a change, a future to look forward to, something to make me feel worthy of myself.

So I’d enrolled this semester, hoping maybe, if luck looked my way, I’d get myself a real job someday, something that paid enough that I could leave the prostitution business behind with no worries, no panic, just peace of mind. For good, this time.

Shrugging at my mother, I mumbled, “A little, I guess.” I was ready and anxious to get started on this next phase, but I kept fearing something would go terribly wrong and I’d have to drop out and kill my dream of escape. I was nervous I’d end up stuck being a paid whore forever.

But who told their mother that?

“I’m sure you’ll do fine.”

Though the words were right, Mom glanced toward the exit as she said them, as if she wanted to leave but didn’t want to be rude while I was talking to her.

“Yeah, I hope so.” Having pity on her, I gave a single nod and lifted my hand to wave her off. “Sorry, I’ll let you get to your errand.” Whatever it may be.

She released an audible breath. “Bye, Mason.” Already backing away from me, she turned to flee. “I’ll be back by five, I swear.”

“Okay.” I watched her go. When she didn’t even pause to call out a farewell to her daughter before she hurried out the back door, I shook my head, biting back the disappointment. Sarah probably didn’t even know Mom was leaving.

Eager to see my sister, I started through the house toward the living room. When I stopped in the opening, I found her sitting on one end of the couch with her wheelchair on the other side of the room next to the front door.

I silently cursed my mom for basically trapping Sarah on the couch. If she’d wanted to go to the bathroom or get a snack or whatever, it would’ve been difficult for her to make it to her chair first.

Noticing my presence, she peeled her attention from the television and grinned at me, lifting both hands to wave. “Bubba!”

My insides melted. I had no idea how one delicate twelve-year-old goofball managed it, but a single smile from her could make an entire shitty day feel worth living. She was the reason I kept going.

“Hey, kiddo.” Grinning, I entered the living room so I could plop down onto the rest of the couch and kick my feet onto the coffee table before leaning my head toward her shoulder and lightly resting against her. “Whatcha watching?”

“Danno.”

That was what she called Hawaii Five-0. I nodded, watching it with her for barely a second before asking, “Have they figured out who the bad guy is yet?”

“Not yet.”

“I bet it’s him.” I pointed at the face of the next guy who popped onto the screen.

“No,” Sarah screeched, completely aghast. “He’s good.”

“Oh.” Turning playful, I motioned again. “What about her?”

This time Sarah laughed and nudged my shoulder, scolding me. “She’s good too.”

Making a sound of exasperation, I asked, “If there are so many good guys on the show, then what’s taking them so long to catch the bad guy?”

“Shh,” she hissed before ruffling my hair, letting me know she wasn’t mad but she really did want me to shut up so she could concentrate on the unfolding storyline.

I gave a silent laugh and scooted closer to her so I could wrap my arm around her waist and snuggle my face against her shoulder. “Sorry,” I whispered. “I’ll stop talking now. I swear.”

As if she knew what I needed most, she hugged my head and kissed my hair. “Love you, Bubba.”

I squeezed my eyes closed, soaking those words in. “Love you, too,” I managed to reply, swallowing repeatedly in an effort not to get choked up, because this girl right here was my entire world.

I would fuck my way through every rich person in a fifty-mile radius if it meant keeping Sarah happy and healthy. She was why I was so nervous about college. What if I was making the wrong decision by going back to school? What if my sister had some medical emergency and Mom wasn’t there for her, so it all landed on my shoulders to take care of everything?

I couldn’t imagine making the same cash I did from selling myself as I would any other occupation I attempted, so why was I even bothering to try college to find something else? The idea of losing my security scared me.

But continuing my life this way tore a piece away from my soul, bit by bit, with every new client I took on.

I needed out. For my own sanity, my own future, I needed to stop.

And yet I couldn’t let my family down, which meant starting college felt like the most selfish thing I’d ever done.

The war inside me raged as my sister’s smell filled my senses. I wanted to provide a sturdy foundation for her so she never had to worry about anything. All the while, I wondered how I could do that if I went crazy, because the wad of bills in my pocket currently digging into my hip was a fresh reminder of how desperately I was suffering, slowly and bitterly, dying from the inside out.

With all that cash, I knew I could buy my sister another month of medicine and doctors’ appointments and pay off hospital bills. I could provide for my family. So I couldn’t regret what I’d done. It had been worth it. But how long did I have to keep doing it? And more importantly, how much could I take before I broke completely? I needed out, or maybe I needed someone to tell me I’d done enough and could stop now. I needed something new and different that gave me peace.

Fuck, I needed a miracle.

Confession #2: I was by no means a psychologist.

Mom came through and made it back three hours after she’d left the house, hauling a single sack of groceries inside with her.

Yeah, one fucking bag of groceries after a three-hour shopping trip with the store six blocks away. You do the math.

I had to be at work in five minutes, so I met her at the door and jogged to my Jeep in order to arrive at my valet station in the nick of time. Breathing hard, I smoothed my hands over the front of my light blue polo shirt to hand-iron any wrinkles and checked the schedule for any special events. Nothing for this evening, thank goodness. The place shouldn’t be a madhouse with activity, then.

A low whistle came from my right, interrupting my scan. “Today’s woman must’ve had some real stamina, huh, Lowe? You’re cutting it close again.”

Landon. He was technically my coworker, but he liked to think he was my supervisor because he’d worked here four months longer than I had. It would’ve made his entire day if I showed up even thirty seconds late. Just once.

I cast him a dry glance. “I’m still on time.”

“And yet I once again made it to work before you did.” He smirked and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “So, who was she today? Doctor? Lawyer? Congressman’s wife?”

Everyone knew what I was, even though they didn’t technically know. So far, it was only an unproven rumor that I was a male prostitute, and I’d yet to confirm it with anyone, especially Landon, who hounded me for details every time we worked together. He was one of those idiots who seemed to think such a profession was badass.

If only he knew the truth.

Actually, maybe it would’ve been cool if I had gotten into the business because this was my dream job. And while there'd been a short stint in there where it had been okay, that time hadn't lasted long, so these days, it just plain sucked.

Shaking my head, I said, “Man, you never give up, do you?”

“When it’s about sex? Never.” He sidled up beside me before adding, “So when are you going to make me your partner? Or hell, I’ll even settle for understudy. Surely there’s enough business to bring me on board. I mean, seriously, man, be a pal; throw a couple of those horny pussies my way every once in a while.”

Sending him a dry side-glance, I murmured, “I’m still not convinced you know how to properly work one.”

“Oh, snap,” he cried on a surprised laugh as he clutched his chest. “That hurts, man. That really hurts. I promise I can slaughter a pussy in five seconds flat.”

My lips quirked into a grimace. “See. That right there is why you can’t land a girl and have become a born-again virgin, bud. Finishing in five seconds is not something to brag about.”

“Wait! That’s not what I meant. I can last longer than that. I swear. I was just saying… I mean…”

I began to roll my eyes just as a silver four-door Bentley pulled into the valet station.

Smacking Landon in the stomach with the back of my hand to shut him up, I straightened from the podium I’d been leaning against and stepped toward the driver’s side door, only for Landon—the bastard—to flash in front of me. I scowled at his back for stealing what should’ve been my tip and probably would’ve kicked him in the back of the knee if no one had been watching. But seeing that there were multiple people in the car, I booked it around to the other side and opened the front passenger door.

Blue high heels and then tanned, toned legs exited first. Her skirt was knee length and black. I didn’t get much more than an eyeful of that before she stood and took her first step, only for the heel of her pump to get caught in the crack of cobblestone. A gasp escaped as she tripped and tumbled face forward.

“Whoa, there.” I reached out to catch her, and she smacked into my chest, hard. Blonde hair tickled my chin as her purse fell from her shoulder and all the contents spilled around our feet.

“Oh, no,” she groaned. “I’m sorry. I’m so clums—” She looked up, her face full of apology until her gaze met mine. Then she gasped. “Mason!”

Shit.

The most emotionally unstable client I had, she made me call her Amanda when we were alone. I hated it when she employed my services. The woman needed a psychiatrist or possibly a divorce lawyer, not a prostitute. And besides, she reminded me too much of my own mother: a little lost, a little sad, a lot broken. I could never stay completely disconnected and immune whenever she contacted me. I wanted to help her as much as I never wanted to see her again.

See what I mean about the irony and always feeling pulled in two directions? The woman scared me shitless and broke my heart all in the same breath.

I cleared my throat, instantly tense. “Mrs. Riker,” I greeted, setting her away from me, while on the other side of the Bentley, her husband handed his car keys and what looked like a freaking fifty-dollar bill to Landon.

Amanda’s gaze swerved toward him and then back to me. Pain and loneliness contorted her features, and her big brown eyes blinked, filling with moisture as she stared up at me as if she needed me to save her.

So, Landon got a fifty; I got a guilty reminder of why I hated what I did.

“You okay?” I asked, my voice hushed.

She nodded, her lashes still rapidly fluttering. “I… Yes. Yes, I’m…” Shifting her gaze away, her attention fell to her purse on the ground, and her shoulders slumped. “God, I’m such a mess.”

“No, you’re okay. Stupid cobblestone trips up everyone. Here.” I hurried into action, kneeling in front of her. “I’ve got this.”

After using my palm to scoop most of the contents back into the depths of her bag, I reached for a pill bottle that had rolled the farthest away. Surprised by how light it was when I picked it up, I realized it was empty. And I didn’t mean to but I checked the name of the contents plus the expiration date as I returned it to her.

“Thank you,” she mumbled gratefully, gathering her things back to her chest in an embarrassed rush. “I can’t believe I’m such a klutz.”

My gaze rose to her face, worry lining my gut. She should’ve refilled that bottle a month ago. And if the strain creasing those lines around her eyes was any indication, she really needed her anxiety medicine.

I touched her elbow and opened my mouth to say, hell, I don’t know. This woman wasn’t my problem, her issues should mean nothing to me, but she was sweet and timid, and vulnerable, and I hated seeing her miserable.

“Jesus, Mom,” a voice to my left broke in. “What’d you trip over this time? Thin air?”

Not having realized the backseat rider of the Bentley had gotten out on the passenger side, I swerved my attention toward the voice just as its owner shut the back door and scowled at me.

Amanda’s son, Ethan, had been a year behind me in school. With light, shaggy hair and thick black-rimmed glasses, he looked like one of those new-age, cool nerds that spent all day figuring out what to wear so it would look as if he didn’t care how he looked. And he hated me, probably because he suspected his mother was a client of mine and he’d heard the rumors about what I was.

When his gaze narrowed on my hand at her elbow, I reluctantly let go, scowling right back. I wanted to tell him so bad that if he’d just pay her a little bit of attention or even tossed her a kind word every once in a while, she’d probably never come near me again.

Ungrateful-ass son.

Another reason why I tried to talk to my own mom more.

“What’s the holdup over there?” Mr. Riker called from the other side of the car, making Mrs. Riker startle as if she’d been slapped. “Our reservation’s for five. We’re going to be late.”

Pasting a smile onto her face, she called, “Nothing, dear. Sorry! We’re coming.” As she swept past me, I gazed after her, wondering about the facade she put on for her family. It was completely different from the face she used with me. It made me worry I might be the only person who truly knew how unhappy she was or how much help she needed. If she were suicidal and actually hurt herself, it’d be on my shoulders.

When I realized Ethan had remained next to me, I glanced over to find him, yep, still glaring. Sighing, I took a step back and swept out a hand to let him pass. The distaste in his features heightened before he strolled after his parents.

Landon climbed into their car and pulled it toward the parking garage, and I stood there watching the back of the Riker family as they entered the Country Club. They looked like the model image of the perfect American family.

But then Mrs. Riker glanced back, her gaze full of agony and longing, and I knew how fake the whole scene was.

I turned away, clenching my teeth. I didn’t like the guilt she stirred in me, making me feel as if I should do something for her. I didn’t like this responsibility she heaved on me with every pain-filled glance she sent my way. I couldn’t deal with her problems too.

And yet I continued to feel shitty, helping her in the only way I knew how whenever she called me.

It was a good thing the dinner rush started and distracted my attention with a steady, monotonous stream of cars because worrying about Amanda Riker never solved anything. She had a perfectly capable son and husband who could and should be helping her through whatever depressed, anxious, or bipolar shit she was experiencing. It wasn’t like I was the best son anyway. My mom typically wanted to escape whenever I was in the room. I couldn’t be the fill-in child Amanda sought for comfort.

Someone forgot to tell her that, though.

A little after nine thirty, traffic slowed enough for me to take a break. I was heading down a back employees-only hall toward the staff lounge when I heard, “Psst. Mason.”

I glanced back to find Amanda poking her head from a door that led into someone’s office, and dread coiled in my stomach.

She waved me to her, so I ground my teeth hard and backtracked, hissing, “Do you know whose office this is?”

Because I had no clue, and yet I was still certain that whoever it belonged to did not want her trespassing, especially after hours on a Sunday night.

“I don’t care.” She rushed the words as she reached for me, her grip on my wrist tight and frantic. “I need you.”

Dammit.

I let her yank me into the office because that had to be better than remaining out here with her where just anyone could walk by and catch us together. But if we were caught in here, that’d be my job for sure.

And while yes, I could afford to lose the cash that valet parking brought in, I still needed this job. It was my only source of normal. Like air for my soul, working here fed me a security that had kept my sanity in place for this long. I could not lose my job at the Country Club.

“Amanda,” I started, only to close my eyes and throw my head back, torn and not sure what to do when she immediately wound her arms around my waist, clasping her fingers together at the base of my spine and burrowed her cheek against my chest.

I swear, no one hugged this woman, like ever. And that’s all she ever fucking wanted because she’d never come to me for sex. Just a little human contact.

My heart went out to her. Unable to ignore such a simple request, I hugged her back. She sighed, content, and the tension immediately drained from her muscles. So I cupped the back of her head, keeping her cheek pressed to my chest. If only it were this easy to satisfy every client who sought me. Hell, if only it were this easy to connect with my own mother.

“Oh, Mason,” she sighed. “No one gets me like you do.”

Don’t ask how she came to the conclusion that I actually got anything about her, because I couldn’t tell you. All I ever did was let her hug me. And if she wanted to talk, I stayed quiet while she drained everything off her chest. To me, it seemed that if someone actually got her, that person would say shit in return to help her through whatever she was experiencing. Because the woman had some dark, lonely, depressed thoughts sometimes, let me tell you. She was drowning in her own melancholy.

“When Mitchell said he wanted to eat here tonight for dinner, I was so happy. I prayed you would be working. And here you are. You’re my little angel, I swear.”

My gut tensed, wishing she’d transfer her obsession to someone else, wishing she’d get help so I could stop worrying about her, wishing I’d never gotten sucked into her issues in the first place.

She slowly stroked her hand up my back and down again. I’m not sure she even knew she was doing it, but it felt more like a child stroking their favorite blanket for comfort than anything in any way sexual.

“I wanted to call for you yesterday, but Mitchell invited his boss over for dinner, so I had to spend most of the day cleaning house and cooking lamb chops. I guess his boss is a fan of lamb. Sounds disgusting, doesn’t it? Like a meal for Hannibal Lecter.”

She shuddered in disgust.

“But I must’ve done a decent job. Everyone complimented the food. Not that I tasted any of it. And do you know who noticed I didn’t eat a single bite? No one. And do you know who helped me clean the dishes after everyone had left? No one. Though Ethan did pop into the kitchen once to ask me to wash his favorite pair of jeans before his first day of school. Except instead of helping out, he chastised me for having an after-dinner glass of wine. I guess he can’t have everyone thinking his mother is an alcoholic, even though I’m not.”

I had no idea if she was an alcoholic. She never drank around me but she did smell like wine now. Not that it mattered. I was beginning to dislike her dear ol’ son more and more every time she talked about him. How blind did some people have to be to not realize the people closest to them were slipping further and further away?

Which made me antsier for my own mother’s sake. Was she okay? Was she slipping into drugs again? Did I need to help her out of anything? Did I need to pay more attention to her?

Amanda kept talking and rubbing my back, while I kept listening and worrying about my own mom, until a muffled male voice in the hallway, called, “Mother?”

The woman in my arms went stiff, her head jerking up so she could gape at me from wide, frightened eyes. “It’s Ethan,” she hissed.

I nodded and pressed a finger to my lips. I didn’t want to be caught alone with her while working any more than she wanted her son to find us together. She nodded, trusting me to take care of it, and I reached out, carefully locking the door to the office so no one could hear a click.

Barely a second later, the handle jiggled.

Amanda jumped and leaped against me. I hugged her, trying to calm her until footsteps faded down the hall. Another minute later, she lifted her face. Her eyes still reflected fear. “I better get back to our table.”

I nodded, agreeing completely. When she slipped something into my pocket, I clenched my teeth. I hated it when she paid me. It felt all kinds of wrong to take money from anyone for merely hugging them and listening to them talk, but I never refused her cash either because I wanted it to be a constant reminder for her that this was just business. I knew damn well she still thought it was more, but I could only imagine what thoughts would spin through her head if I ever refused her payment.

Smiling up at me with affection, she cupped my cheek for a moment, then disappeared from the office. Amanda had never kissed me, never asked to be kissed, or fucked, or touched in any way that was even remotely sexual. All her needs seemed to be emotional. I wasn’t sure if I actually met those needs or not, though, so I always shipped the money back to her, anonymously, once a month. She thought it came from her estranged mother who hadn’t talked to her in twenty years, and that offered her a measure of comfort, so I kept returning her cash that way.

After waiting until I was sure she was gone, I finally left the office as well, turning the light out as I went. I only had two minutes left on my break, not enough time to eat anything as I’d planned to, so I turned in the direction of the valet station to get back to work, only to slow to a stop when I came face-to-face with Ethan Riker, standing there, barring my path, his expression hard and savage, hands on his hips.

“Lowe,” he growled. “What are you doing back here?”

I glanced around with raised eyebrows, shocked by the question. “This is an employees-only area. I think the better question would be, what’re you doing back here?”

“Have you seen my mother?” he demanded.

I laughed, surprised—and a little impressed—that he was so upfront with the question. “Your mother? Now, why would she be back here? You do understand what the phrase employees only means, right?”

He scowled harder and eyed the door I had just closed behind me. “I just tried that door. It was locked. Why were you in a locked room?”

Oh, Jesus. He was such a douche. But he was a dangerous douche. If he opened the door and looked inside, seeing nothing but an office, he could report it to my supervisor—and I’m not talking about the moron Landon, but Tyler, my real supervisor. That would not go over well.

Thinking quick, I bit out, “It’s a bathroom. Is it okay with you if I lock the door while I take a piss?”

He didn’t look inside for himself to check and see if it was really a bathroom, thank God. Instead, he stepped toward me as if he were going to shove me against the wall.

“Listen, asshole.”

I lifted my hands and backed away, refusing to let him make contact and not about to get into it with him, either. If anyone caught me having words with a guest of the Country Club, I’d be fired so fast my ass would smoke.

Riker pointed a threatening index finger at my nose. “Don’t fuck with my mother. I know what kind of women you associate with. And she’s not one of them.”

Well, that was for damn sure. Amanda could never reach the evil depravity of, say, someone like Patricia Garrison. Not in a million years.

I nodded respectfully because, honestly, I couldn’t blame him for his anger and suspicion. If I were Riker and had heard the rumors about me, as he’d no doubt heard, I’d worry my mom was fucking me for money too.

“Understood,” I said.

He narrowed his gaze as if he were sure I was feeding him an act. I almost sighed and rolled my eyes but held the reaction in until he turned away.

He was ten feet down the hall before I couldn’t contain myself any longer. I’m not sure what prompted me to say anything, I already knew I shouldn’t, even as I called, “Hey, Riker.”

Pausing, he glanced back, squinting in mistrust.

I cleared my throat. “Earlier, when y'all were getting out of your car and your mom spilled her purse…”

He pulled himself up even tighter. “Yeah?”

I hesitated, knowing I should shut up while I was ahead, but since I was worried about Amanda, I ended up blurting, “An empty pill bottle fell out, like maybe it needed to be refilled. You… I mean, someone should maybe check into that.”

And yep, there went the shit.

All over the proverbial fan.

Riker really did shove me this time. He stormed back to me and pummeled two palms straight to my chest hard. I stumbled backward as he snarled, “Stay the fuck out of my family affairs, Lowe.”

When he spun away and marched down the hall, away from me, I watched him go and disappear around a corner before murmuring, “Right.”

There was nothing I’d love more than to keep my nose out of his fucked-up family.

Confession #3: I lusted after a girl I shouldn’t.

The next morning, my hands shook as I tugged a ratty old messenger bag down from the top shelf in my closet. I’d rented all the books and bought all the school supplies I needed, even got myself a new laptop, yet I’d completely forgotten to purchase a new bag to carry everything in. So the one I’d used during high school would have to do.

Today was my first day of college, and I had been so sure I’d be fine and ready for this, but the tremor in my hands as I loaded the messenger bag with notebooks and pens and folders belied all that. I was flipping the fuck out inside, not sure if I should even attempt the first class or not.

I mean, what was the point? Was I really going to find something better inside a classroom? Could a degree honestly help me escape the life I’d sunk myself into?

I wasn’t even sure how to act around people my own age anymore. Felt like I’d been out of the social scene far too long, which okay, I had. And after the turn my life had taken, it was anyone’s guess how my peers would receive me. The few I had contact with at the Country Club when they came by with their families either avoided me with distaste, spread outright hate my way—as Ethan Riker had—or thought they deserved every right to my services, just like their rich mommas, but without actually paying for it.

Waterford Community College was kind of reputed for taking in all the wealthy kids who weren’t quite ready to go off to a four-year university yet, so the Country Club scene pretty much did resemble who I’d be dealing with.

Ah, hell. I was screwed, wasn’t I?

But if I wanted out of the sex business, this was the best, most honest path I could think to take. So I was going to at least try it. Trying and failing was better than just plain giving up and failing, right?

Strapping my messenger bag over my shoulder like a piece of armor, I tightened it across my chest and marched off to war, aka, the kitchen, because clearly, I needed some sustenance before tackling the trust-fund babies of Waterford.

When I entered, I found Sarah sitting in her chair, facing the closed refrigerator, just staring at it.

“Morning, kiddo,” I greeted as I passed, ruffling her hair along the way. “Practicing your psychokinesis again? Except if you’re trying to open the door with your mind, I don’t think it’s working.”

She growled out a sound of annoyance and swatted out her arm, actually whacking me in the thigh.

“Hey, hey.” I dodged away on a laugh. “Abuse.”

In all honesty, I was impressed she’d been able to tag me. With her cerebral palsy, her motor function was all fucked up. It took her more effort than most people to even get her arm to move the way she wanted it to. So I wanted to compliment her for making full contact, but I knew she liked it better when I didn’t focus on her CP at all.

When she sent me a look that I knew she wanted to be a scowl, I sighed. “Seriously, was there something you wanted from here? We’ve got…” Opening the door, I leaned down and started to browse.

Wow, Mom had really stocked up yesterday. There was a total of one-tenth of an outdated carton of milk, a bottle of ketchup and mustard, then something in a Tupperware container with mold growing inside it, mayo, salad dressing, grape jelly, a tub of sour cream I knew better than to check for freshness, and a bottle of wine.

Okay, so I guessed I’d be making my own grocery run soon.

I shut the door and glanced over at my sister. The dry look on her face seemed to say, told you so, even though she hadn’t said a single word.

“You already checked the fridge,” I guessed.

“Yep,” she answered.

“Figured.” Moving to the cupboards, I made a humming sound deep in my throat. “Well, let’s see what’s up here, shall we?” She wasn’t able to reach the top cabinets, so I knew she hadn’t looked in them yet.

Inside the first door I opened, I found a shelf full of protein shake powders. Mom liked to mix up something for Sarah to drink through a straw because it was less messy since she sometimes had trouble swallowing and holding things steady.

I rolled my eyes and shut the door. “Pass.”

Behind me, Sarah made some kind of snorting, laugh-like cough. I think she was entertained by my disgust and supported my decision to bypass the shakes. In the next cupboard, I found half a loaf of bread, full of more mold, some peanut butter, a box of old-lady Raisin Bran cereal, and a package of open crackers, probably meaning they’d long ago gone stale.

Grabbing the peanut butter and cereal, I turned to my sister, holding up both. “PB and J on crackers or dry cereal?”

She pointed to the peanut butter. I nodded, grinning over her choice, even though I wanted to curse over the fact that this was all I had to offer.

“So, this is your first day of school, too,” I started conversationally after grabbing all the supplies and spreading massive globs of peanut butter and jelly over each cracker. “You as nervous as I am about it all?”

When she didn’t answer, I glanced over. Her non-response alarmed me more than anything, so I turned fully, facing her with jelly dripping from the end of my knife. “What’s wrong?”

She didn’t get a chance to answer. Mom swept into the room, Sarah’s book bag and her own purse hooked over her shoulder with Sarah’s shoes in one hand as she held her phone to her ear with the other. She was dressed for work at the Glass Factory and seemed to be in a rush as she strode to the refrigerator and yanked it open, only to scowl inside and shut it again.

“Okay, good,” she said to whomever she was speaking. “And that pays for an ad for how long?” After listening to the answer, she winced. “One day only? Okay, fine.” She ran a hand through her bangs and caught my gaze as I finished stacking Sarah’s cracker sandwich. “Thanks, anyway.”

She hung up the phone and tossed it into her purse. “You’re not feeding that to Sarah, are you?”

“Don’t worry,” I said, even as I handed my sister her breakfast. “I was going to stick around until she finished.” To clean up any mess that was made or sweep her airway if she gagged. I passed the box of cereal to my mother, knowing she’d probably prefer that for her own breakfast. “Were you placing an ad for Sarah’s evening sitter?”

Nodding, she dug her fingers into the cereal box and came up with a handful. “Yep. I told you I’d take care of finding one.”

“Did you list all the…details?” I asked, casting Sarah a quick glance. Mom didn’t always mention Sarah’s CP when interviewing babysitters.

Instead of answering, she scowled at me for even inquiring. “I told you I’d take care of it.”

I blew out a breath through my nostrils and decided not to reply. Instead, I rested by butt against the counter and watched both ladies eat. When a blob of jelly fell out the backside of Sarah’s sandwich, Mom uttered a grumble and reached for a napkin on the table to clean her up, only to spot the open envelope lying next to the napkin holder.

“What’s this?” She extracted the letter and flipped it open. A second later, her eyes flared wide. “Holy shit! Six thousand dollars? For medicine?” She glanced at me and held it up. “This says it’s the second notice.”

“It’s fine,” I told her before taking a bite from my own cracker sandwich. “I sent off the payment the day before that notice even arrived. No worries.”

“What about rent and the electric bill? Aren’t both of those due this week?”

Holding up a finger, I waited until I swallowed before answering. “Rent’s paid for the next three months, and I got enough to cover the rest of the utilities.”

Her shoulders relaxed. “Oh. Okay. Well…” She glanced at Sarah, only to make a sound of remembrance and then hurried to wipe the peanut butter off her chin before cleaning the jelly spill next. “I need to get her to school and head to work.”

She tossed the napkin in the trash and grabbed the handgrips to Sarah’s chair. As she towed my sister toward the exit, I waved. “Bye, guys. Knock ’em dead at school today, kiddo.”

Mom didn’t answer—her attention seemed elsewhere—but Sarah glanced miserably my way and waved goodbye.

Once they were gone, I sighed and scrubbed a hand over my face. Then I put away the cereal Mom had left out and cleaned up the rest of the kitchen before leaving the house as well. The campus was only five minutes away, so I was pulling my Jeep into a parking spot and killing the engine before I knew it.

Showtime.

I blew out a breath and stared out the front windshield, watching kids fresh out of high school either strolling toward the main building or gathering outside in groups.

“Dammit,” I muttered, not ready for this. Then I grabbed my shit and opened the door, anyway.

I slipped my bag’s strap over my head as soon as my shoes landed on asphalt and glanced around some more, not sure which way to go. I’d toured the building and knew where my first class was located, but I had a good fifteen minutes before it started. I didn’t want to get there too early, so I just started wandering.

As luck would have it, I noticed a group of guys I’d gone to high school with—all of them younger than me—loitering around what everyone called the statue garden. So I swerved in that direction.

When they hollered a good-natured greeting, I joined them and found a free bronze statue to lean against before trying to mold myself into the discussion they were having over what the most kick-ass bumper sticker was. I was nodding in support of the awesomeness of all Jeep stickers when I heard it.

A laugh.

Just a single, simple laugh.

Except my response was anything but simple, because it was unlike any laugh I’d ever heard before, all loud and animated yet enjoyable with a layer of intriguing female on top. I was used to tittering girls who covered their mouths when they let out an embarrassed giggle or husky, do-you-want-to-be-my-secret snickers from all the cougars I didn’t want to think about. The closest that could compare to this laugh was my sister’s screams of delight when I tickled her, except this wasn’t a scream. It was a full, out-and-out laugh.

I glanced over, needing to see what kind of person would make such a lively, open sound—and here, of all places—when it happened.

I’m not even sure how to properly describe the experience that followed.

You know when you’re sick and your internal thermometer has one of those fucked-up, what-is-wrong-with-me moments where your body is chilled, then goes suddenly hot all over, only to return you to feeling cold again a moment later?

Yeah, well, staring at a complete stranger did that to me.

I couldn’t tell you if she’d just been laughing in my direction or if she’d already been focused on me, but when I looked over, our gazes caught and did the whole meet-and-greet routine, locking together until there was just me and her left in the universe.

That musical sound that seemed to come straight from her soul died abruptly, and I instantly missed it. I mean, not enough to look away in the hopes she would return to laughing again because I liked looking at her, but still in an achy, please-laugh-again-because-my-life-felt-as-if-it-depended-on-it kind of way.

Honestly, looking away seemed impossible, and I had no idea why that was. She wasn’t super gorgeous. I mean, from here, she looked pretty and sweet, in a girl-next-door sort of way, wearing skinny jeans with fraying holes in the knees and a dark form-fitting V-neck jersey shirt with white stripes around the short sleeves. But her lines ran a little on the leaner side, whereas I typically preferred more curve. However, the way the sun hit her long, dark hair put a glossy sheen on it that was breathtaking.

I think the energy around her was what captured me the most, though. Vibrant and colorful, she fucking shimmered. It was probably just the way the daylight hit her, but I swear she glowed, and the glow seemed to come from within, not from the sun. It made me want her to laugh again, more than ever. I bet her glow went neon when she laughed.

An invigorated, jazzed feeling of hope bloated inside me, something that resembled…peace. Maybe the glowing girl was an angel or something. Maybe she could deliver me from—

Hell, what was I thinking?

I had no idea where my brain had been heading, but it seemed like a direction it shouldn’t go. Her laugh had totally discombobulated me; that was all.

Putting the brakes on my thought process, I tore my gaze away, only to become aware of the friend she was occupying her bench seat with.

And like taking a needle to a balloon, all the giddy hope crammed in my chest deflated. Whoever the glowing girl was, she kept some seriously shitty company.

Eva Mercer wasn’t my least favorite person on earth but she did rank in the top ten, possibly even the top five.

Spoiled little rich girl, Mercer had visited the Country Club with her family more than I liked. She ran hot and cold to the extreme, trying to get into my pants one minute and then treating me like a pus pocket that grew on a diseased toad the next. I could only imagine what kind of horrors she was telling Glowing Girl about me that very moment, the worst of them no doubt being true.

My eyes narrowed as anger and frustration filled me. Damn Eva. Next to her sat the one girl who’d made me think maybe women weren’t the bane of my existence after all, and she was probably ruining her for me even as I stood there.

Though honestly, if the brunette was a friend of Eva’s, then she must be like Eva, and in that case… Never mind. Not interested.

Not that I wanted to be interested in any girl, anyway, even if she’d ended up being amazing. But now I didn’t even want to think about wanting to hear her laugh again.

I turned away.

The group around me began to disperse, startling me. Worried about how long I’d been thinking about the girl, I glanced around to make sure no one was giving me any strange looks. Then I checked the time, and shit, I needed to get to my first class.

I started toward the main building, tempted to walk the long way around and find a side entrance because I knew—I just knew—I’d be tempted to cop another peek at Glowing Girl when I passed by her.

There was just something…I don’t know, interesting about her that made me curious.

Dammit, temptation got the best of me.

I needed one more look, just to convince myself she wasn’t all that, so I kept with my path. I was in the middle of an internal debate with myself, trying to decide when the most opportune moment to nonchalantly glance over would be when Eva’s voice rang out. “Good morning, Mason.”

It took everything I had to appear completely unaffected when I lifted my face her way, and in effect, that girl’s way. I set my gaze on Eva, still avoiding her friend, and tipped my chin in the most lackluster greeting I could manage. “Sup?”

“Looking good today,” she told me, tossing her blonde hair as she posed. “What do you say we skip class this morning and do something…fun instead?”

I snorted and shook my head. So she was running hot today with the flirting and come-hither glances. It figured. The last time she’d talked to me, she’d called me a bastard and probably would’ve slapped me if I’d been within smacking distance. She was one girl I planned to stay as far away from as possible.

But the most incredible thing happened next.

Glowing Girl gasped. And not in pleasure. It was clearly an outraged sound.

“E!” she growled at Eva in a reprimanding voice, telling me a couple things.

A) She was not a blind Eva follower; she had her own mind, thank God.

B) She must not have heard the dirty rumors about me yet or she just didn’t believe them, because who would defend a male prostitute like she was defending me?

And C) Not only was she not an Eva follower, but she also didn’t seem to be like Mercer. At all. She had at least some decency and kindness in her if she was willing to call Eva out on my behalf.

This new insight had me glancing at her before I could stop myself. She met my gaze, cringing as if apologizing for Eva’s behavior.

And fuck, it happened all over again. Our eye contact locked and held.

The sudden rush of heat washed over me once more, only to flee just as soon as it came. And an intense buzzing desire flooded my skin, soaking into every pore before surging through all my internal organs.

Up close, she was even better looking. There seemed to be a little more meat on her than I’d originally guessed, and the fluid way she moved was like poetry. Then there was her face. Jesus Christ, plush kissable lips, big blue eyes, and an expression of innocence mixed with curiosity and verve.

She was like no female I’d had contact with in the past two years. Void of any and all controlling, cold, calculating, and powerful ice queen vibes, she exuded pureness. Kindness. Compassion. Maybe a bit of naivety, but a whole lot of playful fun to make up for it.

I wanted that. I wanted to own it and possess every fiber of it. And quite suddenly, I wanted her. As in, I wanted to fuck her. I hadn’t wanted to fuck a specific person in a long time, certainly not since Patricia Garrison had pranced into my backyard and ripped away all intense desires for human contact from my soul that I’d ever had.

It scared the ever-loving shit out of me. And gave me instant wood all at the same time.

Horrified by both my physical and emotional reaction, I forced my gaze away and picked up my speed, rushing into the school. I stopped by the bathroom to duck into a stall and cool off.

But what the fuck had just happened?

Merely looking at a girl should not do that to a guy, especially a guy like me who was as jaded as they came. At least I felt jaded, anyway. Except right now, I felt hot. Needy. Uncertain, and kind of naïve myself.

And as I stared at my own haunted reflection in the bathroom mirror, my life mission became: Fuck making her laugh, whoever she was. I needed to stay away from that girl at all cost. She was straight-up frightening as hell.

She made me feel shit.

Confession #4: Karma loved to fuck with me, or maybe I just brought it all on myself.

So, you know when you convince yourself it’s best to stay away from something for your own safety, and then, bam, karma’s like, Ha! Yeah, right?

Well, that’s what happened to me.

I saw Glowing Girl every time I turned around that day. I kid you not. It was aggravating as hell.

As soon as I exited the bathroom, there she was, walking down the hall with Eva and studying a sheet of paper in her hand as Mercer rattled on about something next to her. I jarred to a stop so fast the closing bathroom door swatted me in the ass.

But neither girl noticed, especially when Glowing Girl ran smack into a carpet-covered support beam in the middle of the hall.

“Oww,” she muttered dryly and clutched her nose as she dropped the page she’d been holding. Then she threw back her head and laughed over her clumsiness. “Oh, God. That was classic,” she announced even as she patted the column in front of her and apologized to it. “Sorry about that, buddy. Didn’t see you there.”

Mercer groaned and shook her head. “Seriously. It’s like I can’t take you anywhere.”

“Whatever. You love me.” Glowing Girl bent down to retrieve her page, and I did not check out her backside as she did so.

Lie, total lie. She had the sweetest ass.

When she straightened, Eva hooked her arm through the brunette’s and sighed dramatically. “It seems I’m going to have to hold your hand all the way to your first class, otherwise you’ll probably trip and fall down some rabbit hole and disappear into an alternate dimension forever.”

Tugging Mercer closer, Glowing Girl only grinned contentedly and rested her cheek on Eva’s shoulder. “See. You do love me.”

I shook my head over her good-natured responses and watched as the two girls moved out of sight. She seemed cute, apologizing to inanimate objects, laughing over her own inelegance, and not growing the least bit offended when her friend mocked her. It was a refreshing change of pace from the type of woman I was used to.

And I was not going to let it charm me. Nope. Not charmed. Not even when her laugh floated down the hall again.

Gah, that laugh was awesome.

Blowing out a breath, I shook my head to reinforce my resolve against her and hurried to my first class. My body had calmed down but the rest of me remained wired. I slid into the first chair I came across and plopped my bag onto my desktop before removing the essentials.

I had my laptop open and booted up just in time for my sociology professor to walk into the room.

As he went over the syllabus, my mind wandered, and sadly it took me the entire hour to convince myself I was being an idiot.

After looking at some stranger one time and listening to her laugh, I had applied a completely fictional personality to someone I didn’t know a thing about. I’d probably done it because there was so much about my life I hated and I’d taken up daydreaming a lot lately to get through. My mind could check out and go somewhere pleasant while my body was occupied elsewhere, doing not-so-pleasant things.

I have no idea why my mind had gone so many places with that one girl, though. I doubt there was anything special about her, I mean, aside from the fact she had a cool-ass laugh, a good sense of humor about running into things, and she tended to defend complete strangers. Maybe I was so desperate for some kind of deliverance that I’d just latched onto the first thing remotely different, thinking it could save me.

But the only thing that was going to save me from my own life was to keep doing what I was doing until I’d earned enough money to get my family set up in a better place.

So, back to my real life I forced my thoughts to go.

After sociology, I had a pretty full schedule with U.S. Politics, speech, calculus, and then economics before I could break for lunch. Since I’d basically only had two crackers, some jelly, and peanut butter for breakfast, I knew I was not going to last that long. I planned on stopping by the food court for a drink on my way to the next class, except yep… There she was, waiting in line at the coffee station.

I kept walking by to avoid another staring encounter with her and went straight to politics. Another long, boring hour passed, but at least it was safe in there with no Glowing Girl sightings. I was hesitant to head to my speech class after that. But when I stepped into the hall, she was nowhere to be seen. Thank God.

Fortunately, speech class was able to pull a little more attention from me, and by the time it let out, I was sure I was past all the daydreaming bullshit for the rest of the morning… Until I found my fourth class and walked inside the calculus room, where my daydream—who was leaving—plowed right into me.

Literally.

I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going, too busy looking for the perfect place to sit and mentally erase the rumors I’d just heard in the hall.

Isn’t that Mason Lowe? You know what he is, don’t you?

I ground my teeth, wondering how many times I was going to overhear that line in the coming months. And that’s when it happened. The impact knocked the breath out of me and yanked me to the present, only to find a girl sprawled out on the floor in front of me in the aisle between desks. Her long, dark silky hair told me who she was immediately. Since our collision had caused her to spill her bag to the floor, she started grabbing things up even as she began to apologize.

“Oh my God. Sorry. I didn’t see you. I’m so sor—” She looked up, and the words died on her tongue.

It didn’t escape my notice that she was damn near kneeling right in front of me. And yep, my mind went there. But come on, all she’d have to do was reach out, unzip me, and open her mouth, and we’d be in business.

God, I was a sick, sick bastard. But I’m sure every other straight guy on the planet would’ve been thinking the same thing if he were in my position and she was in that one.

I commanded my anatomy not to react, even as I imagined myself tangling my fingers in her hair and guiding her face forward. Every muscle in my body grew so taut I’m surprised I didn’t combust on the spot. A ringing started in my ears, and she began to jabber something to me at top speed, but I didn’t hear a word she said. It took everything I had to keep absolutely still so I wouldn’t reach for her. But then she lurched even closer to grab a few more spilled items, and if she had looked, I know she would’ve seen just how friendly I was currently feeling toward her.

I jumped back to keep my own decency intact, and she looked up, her eyes startled and hurt. A sharp pain stabbed me in the chest because I knew I’d caused that miserable look. She thought I was offended by her; I could see it all over her face.

She asked me if I was okay, and I wanted to tell her that I was so far from okay it wasn’t even funny. But I mumbled something about being fine. Not sure exactly what I said, except it didn’t seem to reassure her. Obviously, conversational skills weren’t my strong suit just then. Her presence was throwing me all out of whack. No one had ever alarmed me the way she did.

Realizing just how much of an ass I was being, I reached down and grabbed the last of her books from the floor and handed them over to redeem myself a little, but also to speed this uncomfortable encounter along and stop the torture of wanting something I knew I could never have. Then I slid into a chair to let her pass and leave the room. When she did, this sweet flowering scent drifted by, and I had to grab the edge of my desk to keep from going insane.

Stay away from that girl, I chanted over and over again in my head. That way was full of problems. I was trying to untangle my life from problems. So stay away from that girl.

I couldn’t tell you a damn thing I learned in calculus that hour.

By four in the afternoon, my brain hurt. Thinking about her was honestly that exhausting. Or maybe I’d signed myself up for too much by taking on six classes in one day. My professor in each one seemed to think their course should be the center of my universe for the rest of the semester, and there was no way that was happening.

It was a good thing I’d talked Landon into switching me out of my shift tonight, not only because Mom was working and I needed to watch Sarah, but I probably would’ve been worthless at the Country Club parking cars with my head as fucked up as it was.

When I walked in the back door, Mom seemed antsy and eager to go. She had her purse over her shoulder and was checking something on her phone as if waiting for me.

“Hey,” I said, blinking at her. “Leaving already? I thought you didn’t need to be at the diner until five.”

“I don’t but I want to run an errand first.” She hurried out the door before explaining what her errand was.

“Okay, then,” I said to the empty kitchen. “Bye.” A second later, my phone beeped.

Everything inside me tensed, hoping it wasn’t a client. The last thing I wanted to do tonight was some demanding woman who wanted me to act as if she were the center of my universe too.

But it wasn’t a client, thank God. It was my mother.

Mom: Forgot to tell you. New sitter starts Wednesday.

I scowled, hoping she’d told whoever had taken the job about Sarah’s special needs. Hell, I hoped she’d even screened the applicant at all. We’d been lucky with the last evening sitter Mom had hired, but I didn’t trust just anyone with my sister.

Speaking of which, I wondered how her first day of school had gone.

When I entered the living room, Mom had put on Hawaii Five-0 for her to watch again. “That show’s going to rot your brain,” I told her as I plopped down next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders so I could tug her right up against my side. Her body twitched and shuddered under my touch, but she was still able to rest her cheek against my shoulder.

“Don’t care,” she mumbled. “I love it.”

Smiling, I kissed her hair. “Then brain rot is worth it, I guess. Hey, how was your first day? Mine sucked ass. I already have freaking homework to do in three classes. Can you believe that?”

She looked up at me, and the seriousness in her gaze freaked me out. “What?” I asked, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “What’s wrong? Did you and Mom—”

“No,” she said, “Mom’s fine.” Then she looked down, and I knew it was school-related, but not a problem with actual classwork. Sarah never had a problem with grades. She was as smart as they came. But she always had a problem with other students.

Dammit, was she already getting picked on? On the first fucking day of school?

I was about to kick some twelve-year-old ass.

When she finally relented and told me about a slumber party Bridget—this girl in her class—was having on Wednesday to celebrate the beginning of the year, she looked as if her dog had just died when she admitted, “I don’t think I’ll be invited.”

“Of course you’ll be invited,” I started, even though I knew I shouldn’t push false hope on her because odds were, she wouldn’t be invited. She never was.

When she just gave me the look, I sighed. “I’ll tell you what. Let’s go grocery shopping, and I’ll buy you ice cream on the way home. Sound good to you? Then you’ll be so happy and stuffed you won’t even care who Bridget does or doesn’t invite to her stupid party.”

Glancing away, she shrugged, mumbling, “Okay. I guess.”

“Hey, listen.” Pulling her even closer, I pressed my forehead to hers. “I love you, kiddo. I love you more than anyone else on the entire planet. And that’s not just because you’re related and I have to. There’s no rule that says you have to love your annoying little sister. I love you because you’re the most wonderful, caring, sweetest girl I’ve ever met. And when someone else is finally willing to get to know the real you, they won’t be able to help but love you as much as I do, too. It’s not going to be easy to find that person, but when you do, it’s going to be worth the wait. So don’t worry about wasting your time with popularity contests and the shallow Bridgets of the world when you have something deeper and more meaningful headed your way. It’s coming. I know it is. Just be patient. Okay? It’ll be worth it in the end.”

Tears filled her lashes as she stared up at me and bobbed her head. “Okay,” she said.

I smiled tenderly and kissed her hair one more time. “That’s the spirit. Now let’s go grocery shopping. I’m starving.”

This time, she actually laughed. “You’re always starving.”

“I know,” I lamented, picking her up from the sofa as I rose so I could settle her in her chair. “You think something’s wrong with me, like I have a hole in my stomach or something?”

She sniffed. “No. I think you’re just a boy.”

I gasped in mock defense. “Just a dirty, gross boy, huh? How should that make me constantly hungry?”

“I don’t know. It just does.”

“Does that mean you girls always feel full, then?”

With a laugh, she bumped her body into mine. “Don’t be silly.”

“Hey, if I were being silly, I’d do this.” And I tickled her, drawing out her scream-laughter that I loved so much.

We continued to tease each other all the way to the grocery store and home again. I might’ve gone slightly overboard and bought nearly five hundred dollars’ worth of food, but I was tired of always being hungry, so hopefully, the overstock would last a while. By the time Sarah and I had everything put away, Bridget and her slumber party were all but forgotten, and I’d accomplished my duty as an awesome big brother.

Night faded into morning, where the next evening, Mom didn’t have to work at the diner, but I had to work at the Country Club for a while. My last class dismissed at three thirty, and I was supposed to be at work by four, so I didn’t get much time to talk to either Mom about the new sitter she’d hired or to Sarah about whether Bridget had invited her to the slumber party or not when I blew through the door at three forty-five and hurried to my room to change.

I was out of there minutes later and didn’t make it home until after they were both in bed asleep.

Wednesday night followed almost the same pattern. I had class until three and I had to be at the Country Club by four. I don’t know why I’d allowed for such a tight schedule for myself, but it kind of sucked.

I knew I was cutting it close but I refused to leave the house until I at least met this new person Mom had hired to take care of Sarah. I was dressed and ready for work, flipping my Jeep keys in my hand as I opened the refrigerator to fetch a bottle of water, when I noticed Mom had actually used a lot of the new groceries in the house and premixed about half a dozen shakes for Sarah. Bottles full of them sat in a neat row on the top shelf. It looked as if she’d used more than just the nasty protein powder and put shit like fruit and chocolate and peanut butter in some of them too.

Way to go, Mom.

This was one of those moments when I was glad I hadn’t given up total hope on her yet. I was about to go seek her out and thank her when I heard her voice in the front of the house, and it wasn’t the voice she usually used when addressing Sarah.

Great. The new evening sitter must be here. Suddenly, Sarah came rolling into the kitchen as if her tail were on fire.

“Whoa, what’s the rush?” I asked, catching the armrest to stop her in her tracks.

Her eyes were wide and bright with anxiety when she said, “She’s here.”

“The new sitter?”

She bobbed her head emphatically.

Shit, she was as nervous as I was. Not all of Sarah’s evening sitters had been as kind to her as the last one had been. Wanting to distract her, I blurted the first question in my head. “Any news from Bridget yet?”

But, yeah, that was basically the worst form of distraction ever. Sarah’s expression plummeted straight into despair. “No.”

Damn you, Bridget.

Kneeling in front of Sarah, I took her hand and squeezed. “Hey, I know you wanted to go to that slumber party your classmates didn’t invite you to tonight, but don’t sweat it, okay. I bet you’re not missing anything fun at all. I mean, what kind of—”

“Mason!” Mom interrupted, sounding surprised as she entered the kitchen. “There you are. I didn’t realize you were still home.” The look in her eyes told me she’d been hoping I would already be gone… Probably so I couldn’t judge her choice of new sitters and scare the person away if need be. “But since you’re here,” she went on with a tense smile, “the new evening sitter just arrived, and I’d like you to meet her.”

I frowned when no one immediately exited the hall behind her. Then a thump echoed into the kitchen.

What the—

I peered around Mom’s shoulder into the darkened hallway, barely making out the silhouette of a girl trying to steady a swaying picture frame on the wall that she’d obviously just walked into.

I blinked, suddenly remembering Glowing Girl and how she’d not only walked into a column at school but also how she’d walked into me.

Wow, I hadn’t thought about her all day, which was strange since she’d captured so much of my attention on Monday.

Just as I wondered why I hadn’t seen her since Monday—when she’d been everywhere that first day—Mom asked, “Reese? Are you okay?”

The sitter whirled guiltily our way, shifting so that the light in the kitchen was finally able to splash over her face, and… Oh my God, holy shit, no.

“I’m fine,” Glowing Girl said, waving her hand in apology and laughing nervously as she popped awkwardly into the kitchen with us. “Sorry about that. I’m just the queen of clumsy.”

That’s when another dose of hot and then cold rushed over me, because Glowing Girl was standing in my kitchen. Three feet away.

How was this possible?

Except I already knew.

Karma, you son of a bitch.

Confession #5: So I wasn’t the best at introductions.

“Reese,” Mom said, causing a wave of shock to ricochet through me.

Reese.

Glowing Girl had a name, a real, legitimate name.

I didn’t want to know her name. I didn’t want to learn another single detail about her. This was so not going to help me stay away from her and never think about her again.

“This is my son, Mason,” Mom went on. “He works most evenings at the Country Club, so you may or may not see him coming and going whenever you’re here. Mason, this is Reese Randall.”

God…damn.

I got the last name too? No! Why did I have to learn her fucking name? Now it was going to repeat through my head like a skipping record. Reese Randall, Reese Randall, Reese—there it went already.

When I felt Sarah nudge me in the leg, reminding me I was staring badly and hadn’t said a single word in greeting, because my brain was already whirling her name through the fourth cycle, I shook my head and cleared my throat before glancing away and mumbling, “Hey.”

“H-hi,” she croaked just as nervously, which pretty much told me she remembered me.

Shit. Had I affected her the same way she’d affected me? Or…no. What was I thinking? She probably only remembered me from whatever gossip Eva had told her, except she didn’t seem horrified to learn she was going to be babysitting for the infamous gigolo’s little sister. She just seemed rattled and dazed, which made me wonder if—huh—maybe I’d left a good impression on her, one as big as the impression she’d left on me. But that didn’t make sense either, because I’d pretty much only been a moody, silent jerk to her so far.

It must be a bad impression, then.

Except, her curious blue gaze drifted over my work uniform and her face seemed to go flushed as if embarrassed about so openly checking me out—because she liked what she saw—which made me feel all hot and needy for things I should not want. I squinted, trying to abate the rush of blood that flowed south, but it didn’t help.

“Mason just started taking classes at the community college this semester too,” Mom told Reese. “Maybe you two will see each other there.”

“Yeah,” Reese murmured vaguely, smiling tightly at Mom before turning back to me. “I…I think I might’ve seen you around campus already.”

I don’t know what made me say it. She clearly didn’t want to let on that she remembered me as much as I knew she did. Maybe I wanted to be vindictive and pay her back for making me feel shit around her when I most certainly did not want to. So I dryly reminded her, “You dumped a bag full of books on my feet before my calculus class on Monday.”

Her eyes narrowed slightly as if she were mentally flipping me off for calling her out. Then she feigned surprise and said, “Right,” before she blurted out a nervous laugh. “That was you, wasn’t it? Yeah, sorry about that…again.”

That’s when I knew for certain. She’d heard the rumors. She knew the truth.

I hated how much that bothered me. I didn’t want to care what she thought of me. I’d never cared before, otherwise I certainly wouldn’t have started selling my body for money. All that mattered was providing for my family and making sure they had everything they needed. So what if this cute, clumsy bundle of pep thought I was trash? Wasn’t any skin off my back. Except, it really freaking bothered me to think about her knowing what I was.

“Oh, so you two have already met, then.” Mom brightened. “That’s great.”

Yeah. Great. About as lovely as a bullet to the brain.

This entire situation had trouble written all over it. I could just feel it.

“I guess that leaves one introduction left. Reese, this is Sarah.” Mom grabbed my arm and nearly yanked it out of its socket in order to drag me out from in front of Sarah so Reese could finally meet her.

My stomach swished painfully with anxiety. I knew—deep in my bones—that Mom hadn’t mentioned a single word about her CP. Reese was about to get a shock, and I should’ve felt some pity for her; she was about to get thrown into a situation she was not prepared for.

But if she did one fucking thing to upset my sister, I swear to God...

I had no idea what I’d do, but I’m sure it wouldn’t be pretty.

Please don’t be a bitch, please don’t be a bitch, please...

Even as I prayed, I narrowed my eyes, watching every move she made as her gaze fell on Sarah. At first, her expression froze. Then she clasped slightly trembling hands together and forced a huge, fake smile.

“Hi, Sarah,” she said in that voice you used to talk to babies. “I’m so happy to meet you.”

If it were anyone else but Sarah, I’m sure I wouldn’t have judged her so harshly; she technically wasn’t rude, but still… Her initial reaction did not pass my test.

As Sarah waved unenthusiastically and said, “Hello,” I watched a myriad of panic flash over Reese’s face.

But she didn’t run off; she just stood there, her chest heaving with fear, while Mom knelt next to Sarah.

“Sarah, this is Reese. She’s going to stay with you in the evenings now that Ashley’s gone.”

Reese nodded and smiled encouragingly, even though her eyes were bright with fear.

Dammit, if she treated Sarah badly because of her ignorance, I was going to make her life a living hell.

“Sarah has CP,” Mom was saying, addressing Reese.

“Oh.” Reese nodded and sent me a questioning glance, clearly not understanding.

Damn you, Mom, I wanted to mutter. The girl didn’t even know what CP was.

“That’s short for cerebral palsy,” I explained harshly, displeased with the entire situation.

She nodded again as if she understood, but I could tell she had no clue.

“It’s a muscle disorder,” Mom explained. “Sarah was born premature, and it injured the motor part of her brain, affecting the muscles in her entire body, from her limbs to trunk to even her tongue and eye muscles. It takes an extreme effort for her just to talk, or chew, or even blink.”

Reese’s eyebrows lifted and she nodded as if she were finally catching on, though I’m sure she hadn’t.

I decided I couldn’t watch any more of this. I was already too close to being late to work, and if I stayed, I’d probably do something I would regret like send Reese, the glowing girl, as far away from my sister as possible.

“I need to get going.” Bending, I kissed Sarah’s cheek and said, “Take care, kiddo,” before I added a whisper. “Call if you need me.”

I waved a mute goodbye to Mom, sure I’d say something cutting if I actually spoke to her. Then I turned Reese’s way. I wanted to say something, something like, Don’t hurt her. Her CP isn’t scary at all, I swear. She’s really the sweetest kid. Don’t treat her like she’s a freak, because she’s not.

But she merely stepped to the side as if she thought she was in my way and I needed by her to leave. Honestly, I usually left through the back door, but since I was a chicken shit and couldn’t beg her to be good to my sister, I passed by her, gritting my teeth when that smell I remembered from Monday swirled up my nostrils.

This was going to be a long night; I could already tell.

Confession #6: I hated having sex with strangers.

Some old guy was having a birthday party in the Country Club’s banquet hall when I arrived at work, so I was swamped with parking cars from the moment I clocked in until way past time for my first break.

Just as the rush started to abate, a black Maserati with shaded windows zipped into the valet station and screeched to a halt. The driver’s side door flew open and Alec Worthington slid out.

Like Ethan Riker, he’d been a year younger than me in school. But unlike Riker, he had an easygoing personality and no problem shooting the shit with lower lifeforms. Like me. Not that he and I were friends in any universe. Worthington was a rich kid to the extreme: pampered, entitled, selfish. If he didn’t get his way, he’d lie, cheat, or stab you in the back until he did. I wouldn’t trust the douche with my least favorite pair of shoes, but he tipped well when he was in the mood, so I stepped forward eagerly to take his keys.

Maybe if I raked in enough tip money, I wouldn’t have to accept any clients from my other line of work for another couple weeks.

A guy could always hope.

“Lowe!” Alec greeted with a wide, friendly grin as he spread his arms wide in welcome as if he might hug me. But then he came in to slap a bill into my palm and shake with me instead. “My man. How’s it hanging? Bang anyone hot lately?”

I chuckled at his question, masking my disappointment when I realized he’d only handed me a single crumpled dollar bill. Feeling spiteful, I teased back, “Just your girlfriend.”

Though he laughed as I knew he would, on the other side of his car, the passenger door slammed shut, cluing me into the fact he had a passenger with him.

“Oh, really?” a cold, condescending voice asked. “When was this? I don’t recall being banged by you.”

Trying not to swallow my tongue for getting caught talking smack, I peered over the low roof of the Maserati and immediately winced. Eva Mercer folded her arms over her chest and glared back.

“Ah, hell,” I muttered, flashing Alec a cringe. “You’re dating that now? My condolences, man.”

Instead of defending his girlfriend’s honor, Alec merely laughed and slapped the back of my shoulder as if congratulating me for my zinger. “I take it my granddad’s birthday party has already started?”

I nodded. “Only about an hour and a half ago.”

“Perfect.” Grinning, Alec nodded his approval and slipped off his sunglasses to hang them from the front of his shirt. “Come on, muffin.” He held his hand back behind him, waiting for Eva to prance around in front of the headlights to his side of the car in her stiletto heels to take his hand. “Let’s give the old man a heart attack with that dress you’re wearing.”

The short, tight red contraption that was wrapped around Eva made each step come slowly, so it felt as if we had to wait forever for her to reach us.

“Prick,” she said coolly to me as she passed by and took Alec’s hand.

I smirked back, greeting her with, “Muffin.”

Jerking her attention to me, she narrowed her eyes and hissed. For some reason, the pure blueness of her eyes reminded me of her friend.

Reese.

Dammit, I hated knowing that name. I hated being reminded of her. I’d been halfway successful about ignoring the fact most of the evening that she was currently in my house, watching my little sister. But looking at her friend brought it all back.

A wave of strange heat passed over my body. To mask its effects, I turned bluntly away from Eva and slid into the driver’s side of her boyfriend’s ride. By the time I returned from parking it, she and Alec were gone, but thoughts of Reese remained.

I was tempted to call and check in, make sure Sarah was doing okay. She’d looked freaked out of her mind when I had left. I didn’t think Reese could do anything too damaging in one night—Sarah would probably be okay by herself for a few hours if Reese abandoned her—but that didn’t account for any mental harm Glowing Girl could wreak on my sister if she were cruel.

Then again, everything I knew about her so far led me to believe she wasn’t the bullying type. She had defended me from Eva, she apologized to things she ran into, whether they were human or not, and she laughed all too freely to be the snide, bitter, hurt-others-to-make-herself-feel-bigger type.

But thinking positive things about her made my skin crackle with awareness.

“Hey, man. You taken a break yet?” Tex, one of my coworkers, asked, drawing me from my zone.

I shook my head as I hung up the keys to the Maserati. “No. Not yet.”

“I didn’t think so. Why don’t you go snag one? Everyone else has already had theirs, and it’s pretty slow right now.”

“Yeah, okay. Thanks.”

I grabbed a drink and mini bag of chips I’d stashed in the valet podium and headed to the break room, where I played a game on my phone and polished off my snack. I wasn’t even gone fifteen minutes, but Eva and Alec had already returned when I strolled up, turning in their ticket to Tex to retrieve their car.

As my coworker took off, leaving the couple standing there, waiting on him, I paused and remained hidden from view, not wanting to engage with Eva again.

“Well, that was some kind of record,” Mercer announced after a long sigh. “Definitely the fastest your mother’s ever kicked me out of one of your family functions before.”

Worthington chuckled and began to play with a piece of her light hair. “You do have a talent for pissing her off. Reason number one why I keep you around.”

“Hmm,” she murmured, turning her face away from him as if checking on Tex’s progress.

Meanwhile, I tried to meld into the shadows against the side of the building so they wouldn’t notice me.

“Why didn’t you invite your little cousin along?” Alec asked after a moment of silence. “I told you you should.”

Mercer lifted her face to look at him before she narrowed her eyes. “What? You think she’s pretty or something?”

Worthington’s grin was slow. Then he shrugged. “She’s not bad. I wouldn’t turn down a threesome, if you two offered.”

“Pig,” Eve muttered, jabbing him in the stomach with her long fingernail. Then she pointed it at his face. “That’s a hard no, by the way. She’s off-limits.”

Worthington just laughed and lifted his hands. “What? Hey, you know I’m just teasing. I wouldn’t touch your cousin. I mean, not as long as you give me another one of your amazing blowjobs on the way home, anyway.”

I pulled my face into a grimace. God, why was I stuck here listening to this shit?

Expecting Eva to call him to task for such a sentiment, I was surprised when she merely turned her face away from him again and stared up at the few stars that could be seen in the sky from here. I swear, something almost sad crossed her expression. I didn’t want to feel any kind of sympathy for her, so I looked away as well, wishing Tex would hurry his ass up so they could go already.

“Where’d she come from, anyway?” Alec asked. “How long’s she going to be staying with you guys?”

At first, Eva was quiet. I didn’t think she was going to answer, until she said, “Illinois. She’s from a place called Ellamore, Illinois.”

“No shit?” Alec answered, pulling back, his face full of surprise. “My dad’s family is from Ellamore.”

Eva turned to him, blinking as if confused. “What? Really?”

“Yeah. My dad’s two sisters, Cynthia and Marilyn, still live there, plus three of my cousins. Max is okay, I guess, but the other two are worthless. They left home a couple years back, and who knows what happened to them. Garrett turned out gay, probably has some STD, and Felicity got caught fucking some lowlife who ended up in jail for rape. I bet she’s a crack whore and living on the streets by now, if she hasn’t already overdosed.”

Ignoring his disrespectful estimations, Eva shook her head slowly. “You really have relatives living in Ellamore? Ellamore, Illinois?”

He laughed. “Yeah. Strange, huh?” He bumped his shoulder playfully into hers. “And you say we have nothing in common.”

She turned away again and sounded almost wistful when she said, “We don’t.”

Again, I thought I saw a flicker of something different from Eva. Something more. It was almost as if she’d just let her guard down, but then my phone beeped from my pocket with an incoming message and she jolted, her attention veering straight to where I was waiting in the shadows.

“Eww, are you spying on us?” she charged with a repulsed grimace as she stiffened her spine and squared her shoulders defensively. “God, you sicko. Can you get any creepier?”

I opened my mouth to tell her this was where I was supposed to be, where I worked.

But her boyfriend merely burst out laughing, thinking it was funny. “Wow, Lowe,” he teased, cracking a grin. “If I knew you liked to watch, I would’ve put on a better show.” He reached for the backside of Eva’s little red dress and grabbed a handful of her ass.

She gave him no response whatsoever, except to step away from him, moving toward his car when Tex pulled it under the overhang.

A good employee would’ve hurried out there to open her passenger side door for her. I remained leaning against the brick wall of the club and pulled my phone from my pocket. After Eva let herself into the car, we shared a glare through the front windshield of the Maserati before I lowered my attention to the message I’d just received.

Unknown: 318 Willowbrook Terrace. 11:30. NW Back Entrance.

My stomach instantly burned with dread. But goddammit. A new client request. I wanted to ignore the message. Hell, I wanted to decline it in the nastiest way possible.

You want to be fucked? Well, go fuck yourself.

But I’d made shit for tips tonight, and with school started, we would need extra lunch money for Sarah, and then more cash for the new evening sitter—for Reese—plus Sarah’s medicine had to be refilled in the next week or so. And I refused to dip into the stash I had tucked away unless absolutely necessary. I called that my fantasy escape money, because one day in my dream world, I was going to grab my mom and sister and escape this life with that money. Turning down easy cash would just be plain stupid.

Swallowing the acid that rose up my throat, I typed my reply.

Mason: Code?

Despite how desperate I was, I’d cracked down a lot on security lately and accepted new clients on a referral basis only, meaning they needed to know the secret password to get an audience with me.

When the reply came back, I closed my eyes and cursed under my breath.

Unknown: Firecracker.

Damn. Someone had given her the right code. I was dealing with a legit customer. After replying with a thumbs-up emoji, letting the client know I’d be at the back door of 318 Willowbrook Terrace tonight at 11:30 p.m., I shoved the phone into my pocket.

I was so not in the mindset to play adventurous pool boy, or pizza delivery guy, or whatever the fuck this woman wanted from me. But it was barely nine now. I had two hours left at the Country Club, then half an hour to prepare and get to Willowbrook Terrace. I’d have to figure out a way to get my head in the game by then.

For some reason, my mind strayed to Reese. I wondered what she and Sarah were doing. If all the stars aligned perfectly, they’d be curled up on the sofa, watching Hawaii Five-0 together and eating popcorn right about now. A longing ache tore through my chest, wishing I could be there with them, instead of preparing to meet a complete stranger for sex.

At 11:25 p.m., I killed the engine to my Jeep at the curb of the five-hundred block of Willowbrook Terrace. The streetlamps were the typical, fancy neighborhood style that provided more decoration than actual illumination, so it really felt like I was slinking through the dark for my illegal rendezvous with whoever might live at three-eighteen.

No one else was out and about, and I could only imagine what anyone in the neighborhood would think if they glanced through their windows and saw me walking by on the sidewalk at almost midnight. So far, I’d never had the cops called on me for loitering where I obviously didn’t belong. But maybe I looked clean-cut enough in my valet uniform that I didn’t arouse suspicion.

I knew I tempted fate every time I responded to a call. But my family owed no debt, so I’d probably keep on doing this until my good luck ran out. Because I still wasn’t convinced I’d ever reach a point where I’d feel safe enough to stop completely.

Reaching the yard of 318 Willowbrook Terrace at almost exactly 11:30, I took in the immaculately trimmed yard with roses growing in the front flower bed and I did a quick compass calculation in my head before moving stealthily along a fence line to get to the northwest corner of the house. There didn’t seem to be any guard dogs or booby traps about, so I made it to my destination without any issues. But I still paused when I reached the door I’d been told to go to.

Did I really want to do this? Fuck, no. But was I going to, anyway? Yeah, I guess I was.

Closing my eyes, I drew in a deep breath. You got this, Lowe. You fucking got this. You’ve done it a hundred times before. You can do it again.

I don’t know why I always had to give myself that same mental pep talk, but this shit never got any easier. My heart pounded as I slowly reached out a fisted hand and knocked quietly.

I had no idea who would answer. Had the police discovered my activities and set up a sting operation to trap me? Had the client’s spouse figured out I was coming and was actually the one waiting on the other side of the door with a loaded gun? Or would the person who’d sought my services be just another Patricia? I honestly didn’t know which one of those scenarios would be the most horrific to live through.

But then the door began to open, and I held my breath, my anxiety nearly smothering me as light spilled out onto the dark yard.

When no one appeared to invite me inside and the door remained open, I exhaled steadily through my nose and stepped forward, ignoring the slight trembling in my extremities.

Inside, a single woman stood in the center of a mudroom—a sterile, white clean laundry room with a washer, dryer and not a single speck of dust anywhere—wearing a rose-colored silky nightgown that fell to her knees. She seemed to be in her mid to late forties with dark hair she had combed down to her shoulders and probably dyed so no gray showed. She didn’t have a bra on under the V-necked gown and her nipples poked through the silk as if she were freezing cold in this Florida August heat, or maybe she was just that happy to see me.

What surprised me the most was how beautiful she was. But I’m not sure why that still managed to shock me. Most of the people who employed me were attractive, at the height of fashion, and kept themselves bright, and shiny, and polished.

When I had begun this job, I had stupidly thought I’d get more clients who weren’t so visually appealing, that had a harder time attracting someone to their bed; they were just so desperate they had to pay for it. And honestly, I think I would’ve respected them more and been more willing to do business with them if that had been the case. But more often than not, my customers took care of their appearance. They were tidy, rich, and stylish. There was no way they had any trouble getting sex for free and no godly reason they’d ever have to pay for it.

Made me think sex had nothing to do with this; it was more of an ego trip for them. Buy a few hours with the young, handsome toy to play with and control, then go brag to your equally rich and vain cohorts about what you’d done. Companionship and filling a physical void played no part into the equation. I swear I was just a notch to punch into their social-status Prada belts.

When the woman sent me a calculating smile, I knew this stranger was just like the majority of my clientele, and I instantly resented her.

“You must be Mason,” she said, drawing in a deep, appreciative breath as she took me in from head to toe.

Showtime.

I quirked her a glance that I’d practiced a lot, a glance that made it appear as if I were equally as interested in her as she seemed to be in me: a lie to put food on my mom’s table.

In the huskiest voice I could manage, I said, “If I wasn’t before, then I definitely will be now.”

Confession #7: One name. That’s all it took to ruin everything.

My client shivered as if pleased by my answer. Then she crooked her finger, beckoning me forward as she turned away and started out of the mudroom and into a hallway. “Follow me.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I murmured quietly, moving in close so she’d be sure to feel me right behind her.

This was my first test. Initial meetings were always tricky. I had to decipher immediately whether a client preferred bold behavior or coy. And the way she responded to me breaching her personal space would be her tell.

When she glanced over her shoulder at me, I made sure to make eye contact, reading her expression and body language. There were zero fuck-off-and-give-me-room vibes, no I-didn’t-say-you-could-do-that arch of the eyebrows. In fact, she smiled encouragingly as if she liked having me there.

She didn’t mind me making a move, so I immediately scratched dominatrix off the list. She wasn’t going to tie me up and do all the work herself. She at least wanted some participation. But how much, I still had to discover. Did she want me to tie her up and do everything, or was she into equal parts labor between us? This was something I was going to have to learn before we started. And I had to figure it out without asking.

A hundred percent of the time, I knew the client had an idea in her head of how she wanted this to go down. But asking directly never worked out well. I’d learned early on not to come right out and say, “So, how do you want it?”

Maybe that way lacked subtlety and sounded too crass to their ears. Or maybe asking made me come off as if I didn’t really care, didn’t want to be there, and just wanted to get this over and done with so I could collect my money and go home. And as true as that might be, it wasn’t a good way to run a business. Not this kind of business, anyway.

So I never asked.

On the other hand, not asking was a total no-no as well. In the beginning, I’d bungled my way through, trying what I wanted, always to be slapped down and reprimanded for doing it wrong. It didn’t take long to realize what I wanted had nothing to do with the transaction at all. The meeting was all about fulfilling the client’s wishes. I was just a tool to accomplish that.

So, over the last year, I’d learned a fail-safe trick that never steered me wrong.

As soon as she led me up a set of back stairs and through a hallway into a dimly lit bedroom, I stepped up right behind her, set a hand on her waist, and moved my mouth next to her ear, where I paused dramatically before whispering, “So…what’s your fantasy?”

That had become my signature phrase. Every other question seemed to spill out wrong. But inquiring about a “fantasy” seemed to put the client at ease. It made the moment more personal for her, gave her options, put her in control, and it relaxed her enough to tell me the truth, because after all, fantasies weren’t real. She could convince herself she was just confessing a hypothetical daydream to a stranger…until I actually started to act the daydream out for her.

No matter how many times I asked it, the client always responded like a cat who’d gotten the cream, smiling decadently, damn near arching her back and stretching in pleasure, ready to be petted. Didn’t matter if it was the first time I asked them the question or the tenth, they always loved it.

On cue, tonight’s client watched me from hungry, glittering eyes. I knew it wouldn’t be our last encounter. She liked me already.

“They told me you’d say that,” she said, running her gaze down my body. “And yet it still managed to send a shiver straight through me. Very well done, Mason.”

The condescending tone she used rubbed me all wrong, as did the way she said my first name. I hated it when they used my name.

Patricia had a tendency to give women my full name. She must’ve been the one to refer this client to me, which made me even more leery of the stranger in front of me. Any friend of Patricia’s was not someone I wanted to spend any amount of time with.

But I was here for a job. My second semester of college wasn’t going to pay for itself. Neither were Sarah’s medical expenses or utilities on the house.

I stepped toward the woman, managing to keep good eye contact. The right amount of eye contact was key.

“So you’ve already had time to think about your answer.” Reaching out slowly, I touched her wrist, then slid my thumb along the side of her hand and across her pinkie.

She gave a visible shudder. “Damn,” she murmured, licking her lips. “You’re good at that.”

I stepped closer still, my gaze on nothing but her as my smile turned playful and mischievous. “At what?”

She set her hands on my chest and smoothed them down, over the slopes and dips that made up my pecs and abs, so she could feel each muscle through my Country Club polo.

This is where a part of me checked out. Touching them had never been a problem. Like a dentist or doctor, I could treat touching like some kind of clinical chore. Call me a gynecological masseur, if you will. But it was when they started touching me back when things turned tricky.

I don’t think I was a typical guy. I didn’t like being touched.

No, revise that. I just didn’t like being touched by them.

I could snuggle with Sarah twenty-four hours a day, and if my mother ever gave me a hug, I’d probably drop dead from the euphoria. I had a feeling I’d make a touchy-feely—probably even a constantly horny—kind of boyfriend too, if, you know, dating actually ever happened to me.

But I swear Patricia had broken something inside me when she’d started me down this path. Because anytime anyone who was paying me for the opportunity to put their hands on me actually touched me, their touch just felt…vile. This creepy shiver would pass over my skin, and my stomach would revolt.

Every time.

Made me feel like a swimmer afraid of water or a firefighter scared of fire.

To overcome, I had to trick my mind and think about other shit before my body could respond in a way that actually pleased the client.

Fighting back the instinctive urge to curl away as her fingers made it to the waistline of my pants and she dipped a few inside before gripping denim and tugging me closer, I chuckled to make her think I liked the move.

Then I traced the back of my knuckles down the side of her neck and along her collarbone. “You ever going to tell me about that fantasy?”

“Mmm.” She closed her eyes and let her head fall back, a small smile playing across her lips. “Yes. I want compassion.”

I paused at her shoulder.

Compassion?

What the fuck did that mean?

Usually, women told me they wanted to be on top or liked it from behind or wanted to be spanked. Shit like that. Compassionate sex was not an answer I’d ever gotten before.

Since I hadn’t exactly been planning on being cold and callous, I pulled back to look at her, no clue how to respond.

She smiled at me like an adult amused by a child’s ignorance. Then she reached up and stroked my cheek.

“I didn’t marry my husband for love,” she explained. “I married him for the money. Unfortunately, he’s a very selfish lover who’s never once considered what I needed. So I want someone to give instead of take. I want to know what it would feel like if someone who actually loved me and cared about my pleasure were fucking me.”

O…kay.

Personally, I thought she’d have better luck going off and actually falling in love with someone to experience that from him instead of relying on me to fake it. But hey, it wasn’t my place to judge. I just had to give the lady what she asked for.

“Don’t worry,” I assured her as I leaned in to set my mouth against hers, because people in love kissed on the mouth, right? “I’ll make sure you come harder than you’ve ever come before.”

Grimacing, she pulled her face back and lifted her finger to set it against my mouth, stalling me.

“No,” she said, shaking her head and straightening again when I pulled away from her. “I don’t want you to just be nice and make sure I come. I said I wanted you to act as if you fucking love me.”

Huh?

I shook my head, clueless. “I’m sorry, but I’m not sure—”

She sighed and waved her hand, shutting me up. “How about this?” After studying my face a moment, she stroked a finger down my jaw. “Is there a special lady in your life?”

Reese’s face flashed into my head before I could stop it.

Stupid brain.

She wasn’t special. I didn’t even know her. Why did I immediately think about her? Probably because she’d been the only person to actually stir something in me in quite a while. Plus I’d just seen her tonight, so she was fresh in my mind.

Yeah, that was probably it.

No other reason.

But a smile flickered across my client’s mouth as she pointed at me. “There,” she murmured. “I saw that look. There is someone. What’s her name?”

I shook my head. No way in fucking hell was I giving this woman—this friend of Patricia’s—anyone’s name. Certainly not Reese’s.

“No,” I said, laughing uneasily. “There’s not. I don’t have a girlfriend.” Did she honestly think a gigolo could maintain a relationship with anyone?

I guess maybe some guys could, I don’t know, but I wasn’t one of them.

“She doesn’t have to be a girlfriend. Maybe just someone you crave.”

I continued to shake my head in denial, but the client patted my cheek as if she already knew she was right. “Whoever’s in your mind, making you deny it so forcefully…use her.” Moving closer, she whispered into my ear, “And while your hands are on me, touch her.”

An unwanted ripple of desire flowed over me. My gut clenched and cock hardened. Touch Reese, an eager, greedy part of my psyche whispered.

Outwardly, though, I shook my head, resisting temptation. “But, uh…” With an uneasy smile, I furrowed my brow. “That doesn’t exactly seem fair to you.”

The woman in front of me only smiled as if she knew something I didn’t. “Trust me,” she said. “And close your eyes.”

Since my clients always got their way, I mentally shrugged before closing my eyes.

I could feel her step closer, and my muscles tensed in apprehension. Yet all she did was murmur, “Now… Don’t think of these as my hands on you, but hers.”

When she touched me this time, it didn’t feel quite so vile. It didn’t creep me out.

Telling myself this was Glowing Girl with her silky straight, dark hair, bright blue, curious eyes, and exuberant, lively laugh, a thrill of need raced through me. Her fingers moved under my shirt and up my chest. Her thumbs rasped over my flat nipples, making them harden. Nails bit into the flesh at the tops of my shoulders. Her breath fell on my throat, just under my ear.

I released a breathless groan.

“You like her touching you, don’t you?”

I swayed toward Reese, wanting more. “Yes.”

“Good.”

Reese kept touching me, the occasional scrape of her nails causing my blood to heat.

“Is she making your mouth water, your heart race? What about your pecker?” A hand moved between my legs and clutched me through my khakis, making me hiss. “Just how much do you want to pound this huge, hungry cock inside her? Bury it as deep as it will go? Are you desperate for it? Mindless? Wild with the need to show her how much you want to fuck her?”

God, yes.

I surged forward without knowing I was even going to. Reese gasped in surprise—but a delighted kind of surprise. I gripped her waist and picked her up, carrying her to the bed where I tossed her down.

Before I could crawl on top of her though, I focused on her face, and my client—not Reese—blinked up at me in shock.

Oh, damn. What was wrong with me? I didn’t treat clients like this, not unless I was sure that was what they wanted.

But she’d had me so far gone into this little role-play that I hadn’t even seen a client for a moment there. She had been Glowing Girl and she’d unleashed a fervor in me that had derailed out of control.

“Eyes. Closed,” the client commanded.

I obeyed, but she had to start over again, telling me to imagine that the hands coasting up the front of my thighs were Reese’s. It began to work. When she unzipped me and bare fingers wrapped around my length, I was sucked back into the game.

I crawled on top of her and pretty much attacked her, kissing, biting, licking, and repeating all the things that made her gasp and moan with pleasure.

When she clutched my hair and arched under me, pressing up against me, I growled and peeled off her nightgown, frantic to get my hands on all of her. With her nipple in my mouth and my hands gripping her ass, this was no longer a business transaction. It had become my fantasy.

This was Reese, and she wanted me just as much as I wanted her.

In a rush to consume her before I lost my chance, I shimmied the rest of the way out of my own clothes and was sitting up on my knees between her thighs, rolling on a condom, before reality intruded once more.

Just as I secured the latex into place, I looked down at the woman spread open on the bed before me, wetness glistening from between her legs and her breasts heaving from how much the foreplay had worked her up.

But she wasn’t Reese.

Fuck! What the hell was I doing?

I’d actually been eager to get inside her. A sudden chill of self-revulsion passed through me. I didn’t really want this woman. I didn’t even know her. It felt wrong to use her and think of someone else as I took her.

Besides, she’d requested compassion and wanted to know what it felt like to be loved and cherished. Shouldn’t that involve slow touches, long, drawn-out licks, the savoring of each stage? Not frantic, mindless rutting like I’d been doing?

I shook my head, failing as I tried to get myself back in the game.

She caught onto my attempts. Her eyes flared with panic as she reached for me. “No. Don’t stop. Keep going, baby. You were doing perfectly.”

Except I couldn’t keep going as I had been. She wasn’t Reese, and I didn’t want her like that, couldn’t fake it anymore. The frenzy inside me had cooled.

“Dammit,” she muttered, sitting up. “You’re backsliding.”

I shook my head to deny it, even as I said, “I’m sorry. But I can’t—”

“Yes, you can,” she encouraged harshly. “You did it twice already, you can do it again.”

No, I fucking couldn’t. I couldn’t pretend emotions. And besides, she wasn’t Reese. End of story.

“Close your eyes,” she told me, cupping my face in her hands.

The glance I sent her was probably more irritated than I meant it to be. But I complied and pressed my lashes together, bowing my head when she began to stroke my hair.

“Picture her in your head,” a voice murmured in my ear. A voice that was most definitely not Reese’s.

But I tried what she commanded. I brought up an image of Reese in my mind’s eyes, of her bumping into the wall of my hallway and unsettling a picture frame. My lips twitched with amusement. Her clumsiness was cute.

“There,” my client cooed, slipping her fingers down my cheek, then the side of my neck, and along my chest until she made it between my legs where she gripped my condom-wrapped dick and stroked me.

“She’s ready for you. Just like you’re ready for her. Now show her how much you care.”

Beguiled into her spell, I leaned in, and she met my seeking mouth. Our tongues merged and breathing spiked. Not daring to open my eyes, I coaxed her back on the bed and moved over her, finding all the places I had just learned she liked by feel.

The pace slowed, but the intensity returned. Each stroke felt magnified. I gripped flesh and pressed in with as much passion as before, but it all happened with longer draws as if someone had pressed the slow button.

When she said, “please,” in an achingly breathless voice that begged for more, I was all on board. I lined us up, ready for that first intoxicating thrust.

Gripping her hips, I bowed my face down, clenched my teeth, and plunged.

Oh, God. Reese.

She cried out from the shock of impact, clutching me and straining against me, bucking wildly, just as ravenous for it as I was. We devoured each other, unable to stop kissing and touching, heaving forward, desperate for each time we came back together.

Her muscles tensed and fingernails scored my back as I drove her to the peak.

“Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God,” she cried, loving it as much as I did.

When she started to come, writhing hard against me, I held my breath, holding off as long as I could, waiting for her to finish before, shit, yes…

I climaxed inside Reese, and it was honestly the best sex of my life.

But holy fuck. No wonder why I hated it when this was a business transaction. It was so much better when I actually wanted to be with the girl.

Burying my face in the crook of her neck, I grinned, enlightened by this amazing sensation I’d never experienced before.

Except it didn’t last. Hands shoved at my chest, propelling me backward.

“Get…off!” she screeched.

What? I reared back away from her, startled and confused, only to blink my outraged client into focus.

Oh, God.

Not Reese.

What the hell had I just done?

Ready for her to lay into me for being too enthusiastic, for taking more control than she’d wanted me to, for…hell, actually liking it, or for any number of other reasons, I stared at her aghast, my mouth opening and closing, knowing I needed to apologize or…something to make this right. But I had no idea what to say. I’d never lost it like that before. I’d never wanted it like that before. I’d never…

Christ, it almost felt as if she’d raped my mind and tricked me into doing something I had not planned on doing.

On the other side of the mattress, she looked pissed.

“What the fuck?” she charged, sitting upright and grabbing her nightgown to hold it over her beard-burned skin. “I said to pretend I was her, not cry out her fucking name in the middle of coming inside me?”

Say what?

My mouth fell open. Oh, shit.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

Please, someone, tell me I had not said Reese’s name out loud. I wouldn’t be that stupid. That would be catastrophically disastrous. Like the absolute worst thing I could do with a client.

Arching her eyebrows, my client sniffed in one of those derogatory, I’m-so-superior ways, and cattily said, “So, her name’s Reese, huh?”

I closed my eyes and bowed my head. Dammit.

I was screwed.

Confession #8: Sometimes, I actually stood up for myself…kind of.

I scrambled off the bed so fast I made myself dizzy. Clambering through the black spots that blurred my vision, I discarded the condom in record time and searched the floor for my jockey shorts, horrified when I found them halfway across the room.

I never scattered my shit around like that, was always careful to leave every article of clothing I removed in a neat, quickly accessible pile. But I’d been so overcome…

Jesus, could this moment get any more mortifying?

The woman on the bed was not getting dressed. No way could I look at her, but neither could I ignore what I noticed from my peripheral vision. And she was not moving, ergo she was most likely sitting there, bare-assed naked, watching my fingers fumble as I rushed to snap the waistband of my underwear into place. My skin crawled, knowing she was staring. Could I not even get a speck of privacy in my dress of shame?

Khakis jerked up, polo shirt yanked down, feet in shoes, and I was patting my hip pockets, making sure my keys and wallet were there, even as I scanned the floor to ensure I wasn’t leaving anything behind.

“I’m going to go,” I said, still not looking her way. I never did that; I always lingered in case they wanted something else or to set up another round. The client decided when I was done with my services, not me. But I couldn’t do that this time.

I turned toward the door without another word, beyond ready to escape. But behind me, a very amused voice sang, “Oh, Mason.”

Dammit. So close. I slowed to a stop and waited until I was sure I was done grimacing and mouthing a few select curse words before I glanced back. My heart pounded the entire time. For some reason, I feared she was going to psychoanalyze me, get into my head again and tear out parts of me that seemed vital to my survival.

I swear, she’d already made a good start of doing just that, making me actually enjoy what I’d done with her, to fucking feel like I’d wanted to be there, even though it was all a lie. After accomplishing all that, it would be nothing for her to finish the job, and destroy me completely.

I tried to mask my wariness as I met her gaze and lifted a single, bored eyebrow.

When she held out a roll of cash and sent me a mocking smile, I nearly closed my eyes and shook my head over my own stupidity, because what the hell. I’d never totally forgotten to collect my money before. Just when I thought things couldn’t get worse, either.

Fuck.

“Oops,” I murmured as playfully as I could, moving back toward her. “Looks like someone was so good she made me forget my payment.”

The words tasted like ash in my mouth because of the true parts of my statement, but I said it anyway, using it as a diversion, playing on all that arrogance I could sense in her. And it worked.

Lips smirking into a cocky grin, she chuckled. “Aww. What a sweet, sweet boy you are.”

When I reached for the money, however, she laughed again and pulled it back, just out of my reach. Whatever pleasant expression I’d been able to fake dropped flat. I was not in the mood for this kind of game.

But the client must’ve thought she was so clever. She laughed at her tactics and reached for the belt loop of my khakis. After hooking a finger through, she jerked me closer.

I sniffed out an amused smile, though I’m sure if she really looked into my eyes, she would’ve seen the unease and irritation. But she was too busy tucking the money into my pocket to care how I really felt.

“God, you are so young,” she said in awe, running her hand up my hip bone and then over the firmness of my abs.

I’m not sure why so many loved to comment about that fact. Because my body was so much more fit than what they usually got? Because it made them feel powerful to land a younger man? Or maybe it made them feel old.

Whatever the case, I resented it every time. It felt as if they were pointing out my own personal flaw, and that bugged me. Because I was young, just a dumbass kid and not mature enough to know how to really handle the situations they put me in. It was still ingrained in my system to respect my elders and do what I was told. But if I could just grow the fuck up already, I had this feeling I’d know how to get out of this, that I wouldn’t feel stuck, that I could take care of my family without so much fear and uncertainty, and I wouldn’t need my clients any longer.

But, no. They just had to keep reminding me how young and clueless I was and how I couldn’t seem to just learn my lesson already.

“Despite your little name fuckup,” my client said as her fingers coasted up my rib cage and smoothed over my pecs, “your performance was still quite impressive. You gave me exactly what I wanted. And mmm, God. This body. It’s been a long time since I got to clutch flesh this firm and supple. My husband’s fifteen years older than me.”

I didn’t answer. I didn’t want to invite her to continue. I just stood there, antsy as hell, waiting for her to finish, even as I glanced longingly toward the door.

“So, next Thursday,” she went on, drawing her hands lower until she’d curled all ten fingers around the waistband of my khakis. I looked down just as she looked up. “My husband’s out of town again. Why don’t you come back, then? We could try this one more time, without you calling out someone else’s name.”

Since she was watching me as she asked, I wasn’t able to mask my initial response. But seriously? She wanted a repeat? After I’d just botched this job worse than I’d ever botched any job before? After I’d groaned another name while my cock was jetting inside her? Really?

Wow, some people I would never understand.

Reading my incredulous expression, she only chuckled. “What? I believe in second chances.” She let go of my waistband to run her index finger through the grooves in my abdomen. “Besides, that might’ve been the best I ever came… Before you said her name, anyway.”

God, could she please stop mentioning that part?

One thing was certain, I never wanted inside this woman again. She’d messed with my head enough already to last me a lifetime.

“Sorry,” I murmured on a regretful wince. “But I don’t have an opening next Thursday.”

The disbelief on her face was classic. A rush of adrenaline—fear mixed with liberation—roared through me. Aside from Patricia, I hadn’t dared to turn anyone down for a year now.

Thrilling power flooded my veins. But it was chased by worry, because who knew what she might do in retaliation. If she went after Sarah or my mom, I’d regret saying no, big-time.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” she demanded, balling a fistful of my shirt into her fingers as if that would actually keep me where she wanted me.

“I really am sorry,” I said, gently taking her hand and removing it from my person, only to kiss her knuckles to soften the blow and then let go of her before backing out of her reach. Then I mumbled, “I’ll see you around,” as I turned away.

“Hey,” she growled. I kept walking, so she said my name. “Mason.” I cleared the doorway and entered the hallway. “I’m not done with you yet.”

But I was more than done with her.

As I jogged down the steps, I could see the shadow of her silhouette loom over me on the wall above the stairwell as she came to the opening of her bedroom door and stopped. “You’ll regret walking away from me like this.”

I already did. My mind was spinning with the worst repercussions possible. So I stopped at the foot of the steps and looked up.

“What do you want from me?” I asked.

Since she was nothing but a dark, naked outline at the top of the stairwell, I couldn’t see her expression, but I could fucking well feel it. She smiled as if she’d already won.

“I want more,” she said simply.

But that wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted to fucking control me. To dehumanize me. To break me.

I shook my head. “No,” I said, and I turned to leave.

My hands were shaking by the time I reached my Jeep. Sweat coated my brow. If I’d just put a target on my family’s back because of this, I was screwed. What the hell would it have hurt to walk back up those stairs and screw her again like she wanted? It wasn’t as if I had any self-respect left. Any pride. Anything of any kind of worth.

But I guess something was still rattling around inside me, because I’d been more afraid of her taking whatever remained in me than I had been of my own family’s safety.

Ashamed of myself, I drove home slowly. I remained rattled as I pulled into my driveway, my mind racing with worst-case scenarios. And to top it off, I could see the glowing orange cherry of a lit cigarette, coming from the edge of my neighbor’s yard to the right.

God dammit, not this too.

I killed the engine and debated on whether I should just sit here and wait until she was gone or start the Jeep up again and back out of my driveway, fleeing for my sanity. One thing was sure, I couldn’t handle a confrontation with Patricia right now. But my hesitation was only showing her how much of a coward I was.

Cursing under my breath, I pushed open my door and stepped into the warm, stifling night.

“Good evening, Mason,” her voice came through the dark from the direction of that glowing cigarette. “Coming in kind of late, aren’t you? The Country Club closed nearly two hours ago.”

There was a teasing quality in her voice.

“Fuck you,” I said mildly, keeping a steady pace toward my back door and not even bothering to glance her way. Nothing she said could rattle me anymore.

That was, until she laughed and said, “What? Are you still upset over crying out the wrong name when you were with Monica tonight?”

I didn’t mean to miss a step but I totally stumbled over my own fucking clumsy feet.

And Patricia saw it all.

Dammit, I should’ve known the client tonight—Monica, or whatever her name was—would’ve already contacted Patricia and told her everything… Petty, vindictive Patricia who liked to gather information about me like weapons so she could find some way to hurt me with them.

Knowing I was already fucked and that she’d already seen my stumbling reaction and knew how bothered I was, I straightened myself and kept walking as if she hadn’t just shoved my entire world on its axis.

Patricia’s laugh followed me through the dark. “You know I’m going to find out who Reese is, don’t you, baby? You can’t hide a girlfriend from me forever.”

I was tempted to hiss, “Good luck with that,” but responding to her could only make things worse. It would probably present her with a challenge, feed her power trip, make her think Reese was important to me, and most likely land Reese in hot water right alongside me. So I kept my trap shut and continued inside at a normal pace so she couldn’t perceive any other reaction from me. But fuck, fuck, fuck. I had a bad feeling I’d already buried my sister’s new babysitter in a whole world of problems anyway.

I wished I had never learned her name. If I hadn’t learned it, I wouldn’t have been able to say it at the worst possible moment ever, and she never would’ve been placed on Patricia Garrison’s radar. This was my fault.

I went straight to the back bathroom and stripped, needing these clothes off me as soon as possible. Stepping into the shower, I turned the water to scorching hot and scalded my guilt and shame off my flesh with as much heat and soap as I could stand.

By the time I shut off the water, there was a good chance I had first-degree burns, but my nerves had calmed enough that I could convince myself I was probably just being paranoid and overreacting. Just because I’d said one single name and turned down one single client didn’t mean it was the end of the world. My family was still safe. Hell, the babysitter was probably still safe. It would take the two rich, powerful, vindictive hags I’d crossed tonight too much energy to mess with them. This would blow over. Everything would be okay. I was worrying for nothing.

Except, as I opened the shower door and reached for a towel to wrap around my waist, I still felt jittery. Tonight had sucked in more ways than one. I wanted to know how Monica—or whatever her name was—had so easily drawn me into her play world. Why had I let the offer to pretend she was Reese tempt me so thoroughly? So instantly?

I’d had exactly four encounters with Glowing Girl—three that she even knew of—and all of them probably lasted less than five minutes put together. I knew nothing about her, except that she apologized to inanimate objects, defended strangers when they were teased, and ran into a shit load of things. That might tell me a couple things, but it certainly shouldn’t have pulled me into the role-play it had tonight.

God. Was I just that desperate for something different and fresh and new that I’d thrown all caution to the wind and attached my interest to some girl I knew shit about?

That was just pathetic.

I was pathetic.

I looked at myself, and all my pathetic-ness gazed back, trying to apologize to me with a sorry, regretful gaze. No longer able to face myself, I bowed my head, gripped the edges of the sink, and squeezed my eyes shut, hoping to God I hadn’t fucked up some poor, completely innocent girl’s life as much as I’d already fucked up my own by merely saying her name.

When a gasp came from behind me, I jerked my head up, not expecting anyone to be awake. For some reason, the only person I thought it could be was my mom. Sarah usually had too much trouble transferring herself from her bed to her chair by herself to get up in the middle of the night and wander around, so I naturally assumed Mom. But when I met neither the gaze of my sister nor my mother in the mirror’s reflection, I yelped, “Shit!” and whirled around.

Reese, the glowing girl babysitter, leaped a step back, gaping at me from huge blue eyes as her gaze darted and skipped, taking in everything she saw…which was me wearing nothing but a towel around my waist. And most bizarre of all, she was holding a freaking doll.

Why the hell was she holding a limp doll?

She looked so young and innocent and shocked. It was the opposite of what I’d come to know and loathe from my clients. So it appealed to me on every level. My body instantly reacted, heating and hardening.

In an attempt to hide my reaction and the possibility of anything poking from the front of my towel, I grabbed the waistline and bunched the terry cloth within my fist, so the rest would ripple and help conceal any other possible lumps that might want to protrude.

Then I instinctively grabbed the door that was hanging half open, cursing myself for never having fixed the damn latch.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I demanded before I even knew what I was going to say.

She wasn’t supposed to be here. Mom should’ve gotten home hours ago. Plus, I already felt shitty enough about possibly dragging her into my problems with my landlady; seeing her only ratcheted the guilt up more.

Being half naked in front of her didn’t exactly make me all that comfortable either. I was used to playing a role when my clothes were off, acting out the part. I had no clue how to be real—how to be me—at a time like this.

“I…I’m babysitting,” she answered in a small voice as if she were afraid I was going to cuss her out, making me realize I hadn’t been very gentle with my question. Shit, I was really raking in the mistakes tonight, wasn’t I?

Suddenly, she straightened her shoulders and set her hands on her hips before scowling. “What the hell are you doing, taking a shower with the door wide open while I’m babysitting?”

I don’t know why that irritated me. I should’ve just fucking apologized. But I was in a crappy mood so I spit back, “I didn’t know you were here. And the latch doesn’t work. I shut it as best as I could, but it still floats open when the exhaust fan is on.”

Her shoulders instantly fell and the defiant narrowing of her eyes softened, making my crappy mood worsen and the guilt thicken.

I cleared my throat, disgusted with myself. “Isn’t my mom home yet?”

She sniffed and rolled her eyes. “Apparently not.” She motioned behind her. “I fell asleep on the couch after putting Sarah to bed, and no one woke me. Wouldn’t she have woken me if she’d come home?”

Dammit. Mom better be behaving. “She must be working overtime for someone, then.” Closing my eyes, I hissed a curse in my head, realizing my first thought was not for her safety but to worry that she was getting into something she shouldn’t be. I ran a hand through my hair. “Well, I didn’t know you were here, okay.” God, I sounded like a douche. Why couldn’t I stop sounding like a douche?

“And I didn’t know you were here either,” she snipped back. “You scared the crap out of me. When I woke up and heard something back here, I thought a burglar had broken in.”

I lifted my eyebrows. “You thought someone broke in…to use the shower?”

Huffing out a sound, she scowled at me. “I didn’t hear the water running. Jeez. I only heard doors, or drawers, or something opening and shutting. I didn’t know what was going on.” She moved her hands again, bringing my attention back to the doll she was holding.

Realizing she hadn’t been holding it like a comfort blanket but more like someone about to swing a baseball bat, I bit the inside of my lip to hide my amusement.

“Well, swell,” I said, nodding. “I suppose I should feel so much better now, knowing Sarah is safe in your hands. If someone breaks in, you can just wield your doll there and play tea party with them to death.”

She gasped in outrage. “Hey! I’ll have you know the plastic head on this doll is pretty hard. Trust me. Your sister caught me in the noggin with it earlier.” Wincing, she rubbed her head.

Remembering she’d been babysitting my sister all night and this had been her first encounter with anyone with CP, and also remembering how freaked out she’d looked when I’d left the house earlier, I stepped forward, worry lacing my veins. “She hit you?”

That didn’t sound like Sarah. My sister would never intentionally hurt someone. A person would really have to be going after her for her to even try to defend herself.

But Reese shook her head. “Oh, not on purpose, no. It’s nothing. No big whoop. We were having a good time. She was excited. Arms started flailing a little too wildly. I mean, how could they not when I’d been wailing, ‘Give me back my golden arm’? But it’s all good. Don’t worry about it.”

I blinked at her.

Because had she just said she and Sarah had had a good time? After seeing her expression when I’d left earlier in the evening, I never in a million years would’ve thought she’d ever say, We were having a good time.

The glowing girl who’d put hope in my heart had given my sister a good time?

Oh, Jesus. An ache bloomed in my chest. My throat went dry. My eyes started to fucking burn. But if she’d really showed Sarah a good time, this innocent blue-eyed girl would be my new hero.

I stared at her, and suddenly, all I could think was I fucked you tonight. While my eyes were closed and I was inside another woman, I imagined it was you, and it was the best sex of my life.

My next thought was: God, she’s so young.

It didn’t matter that we were basically the same age. She just seemed so innocent and untouched by the evils of the world.

And suddenly I understood why my clients always said that about me. Reese possessed this aura around her, this glow. To me, it was fresh and pure and beautiful. I wanted to experience it with her. So maybe to all those calculating, deceitful cougars who employed me, I seemed pure and fresh and appealing.

Realizing I was just staring at her, I shook my head, forcing myself back to the present. “I guess I should pay you. My mom said eight dollars an hour, right?”

Twisting around, I bent to fetch my pants so I could search my pockets for money. It felt weird giving her the very money I’d gotten while pretending I’d been with her, but then again, it only seemed fair too. I’d earned it because of her.

“Umm…” she said. “D-don’t worry about it. I’ll just square it up with Dawn later.”

I glanced at her just as I got a handful of the cash and pulled it free. “Trust me,” I said, showing her the money. “You’re going to get paid from these exact bills right here. Does it really matter whether I give them to you now or if I pass them along to my mother, who probably won’t remember to give them to you until next week…if not later?”

Her face went a little green and her throat worked as she swallowed. There was no doubt in my mind she knew exactly how I had procured the money. Shame blanketed me; I damn near tucked the wad behind my back out of sight.

But then I thought, fuck it. I needed to stop thinking so highly of this girl. I didn’t know her. She didn’t know me. And the quickest way to scare her off would be to go ahead and let her see what I really was. As soon as her face filled with horror and disgust, boom, I’d get disappointed and lose my little fascination, and whatever it was I was feeling for her would finally vanish. Problem solved.

So I watched her carefully as I separated four twenties from the lump and held them out her way. “Keep the change.”

“Well…” She stared at my dirty money as if it were a contagious disease. But then she cleared her throat and straightened her back. “When you put it that way… Thanks.”

She snagged the cash and started to pull her hand back only to wrinkle her nose and sniff the air before holding the money to her nose. When she caught me watching, she flushed and pulled the cash away. “Sorry. I just… They smell like… Is that…Chanel No. 5?”

God. Is that what the name of the perfume was? Now I knew what to stay away from forever. Most of my clients wore that very same scent, which was basically the only reason I despised it. It brought on too many bad memories and added another reason to why I liked Reese’s fresher, happier, more innocent scent.

“I wouldn’t know,” I said as stoically as I could manage. “I don’t ask.”

Confession #9: I lied a lot. But that night, with Reese, I didn’t.

My answer shocked her.

Hell, it shocked me. I knew I had wanted to scare her off and somehow nip this…whatever it was…in the bud. But I never actually came right out and admitted what I was to people. That was like jail time just waiting to happen.

What the hell was it about this girl that made all my actions and thoughts the very opposite of what they usually were? It was freaking bizarre.

She shook her head as if confused. “What do you ask, then?”

Okay, weird. Was she really going to just roll with the fact that I’d pretty much admitted what I was? Alright then.

I shrugged, watching her with a slight squint. I had thought she’d be more horrified and disgusted. But she merely seemed curious.

“Not much,” I heard myself answer. “My clients aren’t exactly the shy type. They tell me what they want and typically don’t leave a lot of room for questions.”

Her lips gaped apart. “Oh, wow. So you’re actually admitting you’re a…a…”

Wait. Hadn’t we just established that? Oh, damn. I thought I’d already admitted it. But I guess I really was now.

“What?” I asked, shifting uncomfortably, trying to downplay the awkwardness by acting as if it were no big deal. “Haven’t you heard the rumors? As tight as you appeared to be with Eva Mercer on campus the other day, I would’ve assumed she’d told you every dirty detail about me by now.”

A blush bloomed across her cheeks as if she felt guilty. “I…Yeah… I mean, she told me some crazy gossip, but I’m not sure if I believed any of it.”

She sounded almost apologetic, maybe because she’d just admitted to talking about me. I don’t know. But Reese was definitely the complete reverse of everything I was used to.

“Does your mom know?” she asked in a somewhat hushed voice, almost as if she were excited about getting all the juicy details to a huge state secret.

But thinking about the answer to her question caused me to glance away. I didn’t want to make my mom look bad and let anyone know she willfully allowed her son to fuck women in order to get her bills paid. But I kind of dug this honesty thing I’d started. I always had to lie and cover shit up. It was a little relieving to just be open and honest. So I went with, “I have a feeling she suspects.”

Reese’s eyes bugged, and she shook her head. “This is just… Yeah.” She turned an almost accusative stare on me. “Doesn’t it bother you that she knows?”

Guilt flooded my veins and almost suffocated me. I’d been so worried about trying to protect my mom’s image that I’d made myself look like…well, like a filthy gigolo who probably broke his mother’s heart on the daily with his dirty, notorious deeds. Ashamed that she knew me for exactly what I was, all the regret came out defensively.

“No,” I muttered. “It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Jesus. How do you think I feel about her knowing?”

Reese pulled back, obviously startled by my response, and shit… Here came more remorse. Unable to deal with my own guilt, I held up a hand. “No. No more. The question and answer portion of this evening is over. You have your babysitting money, and I’m home to stay with Sarah. You can go.”

“I…” She looked at me as if I’d just beaten her. Shit, why was I treating her this way? I totally hadn’t meant to be mean and hurt her feelings.

With a nod, she squared her shoulders. “Okay,” she said and then turned away before darting off.

I opened my mouth to call after her and apologize for being an ass. I even lifted my hand, but then I dropped it.

“Fuck.”

When I heard the front door open and close at her departure, I closed my eyes and ran my hand through my still damp hair to curse at the ceiling, only to realize I was still only wearing a towel. I muttered a couple more obscenities and dropped the terry cloth to the floor so I could pull on a pair of boxer shorts for bed.

It was after one in the morning. My first class tomorrow started in less than seven hours. But when I flopped down on my bed in the dark and set the back of my wrist against my forehead as I stared up at my darkened ceiling, sleep grew elusive. In my head, I ran through the events of the night along with my conversation with Reese, and I concluded that I needed a do-over. I had handled everything wrong and just needed to manage it all differently. I should’ve refused to think about Reese when Monica had prompted me to. That way I never would’ve called out her name and then gotten myself in trouble and freaked myself out, then turned down a client for business and pissed her off.

And I never would’ve been so rude or honest to Reese either.

When I finally drifted off, my dreams were a confusing chaotic mix. First, I was back in the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel and bitching out Reese. Except, in the dream, she didn’t run off like a kicked puppy. She strode up to me, her eyes blazing with anger and life, and she poked her finger into my chest before telling me I was only treating her so badly because I was trying to hide how much I wanted to fuck her.

I stared into her blue eyes for a moment before nodding and agreeing, “Yeah. You’re right.”

Making an aggravated sound, she jerked her hands into the air and sputtered, “Then just get it over with and fuck me already.”

So I did. It all happened the same exact way I took Monica, except when I opened my eyes, I saw Reese’s face. I groaned from the bliss as I pumped into her.

But then this cackle, like the wicked witch’s from The Wizard of Oz, filled my room and I looked up to find both Patricia and Monica standing over us, their faces painted green and noses long as they wore black robes and pointed hats.

Reese screamed and ran off, so Patricia and Monica jumped onto these vacuum cleaners and flew after her, yelling about how they were going to make her pay for going anywhere near me. As they sped through the clouds, they had to dodge these paper airplanes and flying candy bars that Reese kept chucking at them to impede their progress.

And that’s when I woke with a gasp to a hand bumping against my bare shoulder.

“What?” Blurry-eyed and half out of it, I lifted my head from the pillow where I had it buried and blinked my sister into focus.

Dude, what had I eaten last night to dream that kind of shit up?

When she asked if I was going to get up or sleep the day away, I checked the time and cursed fluidly. “Dammit, I forgot to set my alarm clock. Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?”

I flew out of bed and grabbed the first pair of jeans I saw, yanking them on over my boxers, grateful I’d taken a shower before going to bed last night.

“I tried.” Sarah moodily scowled at me. “You were totally out of it.”

Made sense. I’d been dreaming pretty hard. “Do you need a ride to school?” I asked as I scoured my drawers for a comfortable T-shirt to wear. “Or is Mom taking you again?”

“Mom,” Sarah said, watching me dress. “Ask me about last night,” she finally ordered.

I paused in the middle of pulling my shirt on and glanced her way.

Last night?

At first, my mind was blank. What the hell had happened last night? But then, ahh, it all came back in screaming, awful detail: stuck spying on Eva Mercer, botched appointments with clients, and encounters with innocent girls while I wore nothing but a towel.

Sarah knew nothing about the gory, awful parts of last night, though.

“The babysitter,” I realized, snapping my fingers. “Right. How’d she do?”

My guts tightened instantly, worried my sister hated Reese.

If she did, I’d get the glowing girl fired before her next night to babysit. But a part of me dreaded that possibility, even though it’d probably be safer for her to be far away from me and my home, where Patricia might accidentally discover her name and start connecting dots. Yet another part of me really wanted her and Sarah to, I don’t know…connect. Sarah needed someone to talk to and bond with, but still… It’d probably be best for Reese if I got her away from us.

Holding my breath, I waited nervously for the feedback. I would know for sure whether or not Reese had been worth spending even a second fantasizing over if Sarah told me she’d been treated awful last night.

But my sister’s face lit up with the biggest, brightest smile I think I’ve ever seen her make.

“I love her,” she gushed. “She is so cool. She put makeup on me and made a camp for me…in the middle of the living room. And she read me stories, and, and… And she acted like she might really like me. We ate cookies and s’mores. It was so awesome. Do you think she might really like me?”

“Hell, yes,” I answered immediately. “Why wouldn’t she? I mean, you’re okay, for a twelve-year-old.”

All the while, I mentally shook my head, amazed, because I’d never heard Sarah talk this much at one time before. Usually, she avoided long sentences because her speech patterns weren’t the best and she accidentally drooled more when she talked. The whole process made her seriously self-conscious, so she tended to not even try.

But she was so excited to tell me about her night, she didn’t even care about any of that as she gushed on, telling me everything. Her CP kicked in more when she was animated like this, too, making her body waver and jerk. But this morning, that couldn’t even bother her. She was just a girl, eager to tell her brother about the amazing time she’d had with her new babysitter.

I almost burst into fucking tears to see her so happy and carefree. In the middle of telling me about the junk food she and Reese had snacked on, she paused to frown. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

I shook my head, too overcome to speak just yet. Then I cleared my throat. “I just…” I flailed out a hand. “I don’t know.”

Would it be weird if I pulled her into my arms and bawled into her hair right now because I was so happy?

Yeah, probably.

So, I managed to refrain.

Sarah stared at me, her eyebrows furrowing. “You don’t think she likes me, do you?”

“What?” I cried, immediately waving my hands. “No, no, no. That’s not what I was thinking at all. Of course, she likes you. Who wouldn’t like you? You’re the sweetest little goober there is.”

She frowned. “I’m not a goober.”

Chuckling, I ruffled her hair. “Of course you are. And I was just happy that you liked her.”

Sarah let out this sound. I swear, it was like a dreamy sigh. “I love her,” she swore with an adoration that made me shake my head slowly.

So the glowing girl had somehow managed to enthrall my sister too. Maybe there’d been a reason why I’d been instantly drawn to her after all.

As I dug up some socks from my drawer and pulled on a pair of Vans over them, Sarah continued to tell me about her evening until Mom popped her head into the room and jiggled her keys at us impatiently, announcing it was time for her and Sarah to go.

I hugged my sister goodbye and kissed the top of her head before murmuring in her ear, “I’m glad you had fun last night.”

She looked up at me, grinning. “I can’t wait until she comes back again tomorrow.”

I smiled into her gray-blue eyes and touched her hair before she wheeled herself away and rolled her chair from my room.

Damn. That girl. Seeing her smile was my kryptonite, I swear. I’d probably lay my soul at the feet of the devil just to make Sarah happy. So keeping the babysitter around was a must. I’d just have to figure out how to conceal her identity from a couple manipulative, conniving clients of mine in the process.

I was so busy trying to figure out how I was supposed to accomplish such a feat that I hurried off toward college without eating breakfast or thinking about what I might need to finish—homework-wise—before my first class.

I didn’t remember until I made it to campus that I was supposed to read the first chapter of my ethics textbook because we were going to discuss it today, and I just knew that if I didn’t even glance over it, I would be the first person the professor called on for input. It was Murphy’s Law.

So I found a free bench outside and plopped myself down. I’d just started Chapter One on why it was so important to even study ethics and was jotting down notes when it struck me how much I probably should’ve taken this damn class two fucking years ago. Because now my public image was mangled all to hell. There was no way to recover from what I’d become. Unless maybe I went somewhere new where no one knew what I was. But I couldn’t abandon Mom and Sarah, so that idea was out.

With each note I wrote, my spirits sank. I’d fucked my identity all to hell, all because I’d never seriously considered the ethical side of my actions. I mean, I knew I wasn’t being moral or virtuous, but it’d been for a good cause. For my family. So I did it anyway, except, now everything in me had suffered because of it.

I was about to slam the book closed because I wasn’t sure if I could take much more of this torturous guilt when a small, to-go cup appeared in front of me with a brown paper sack dangling beside it.

“Here,” a familiar voice said.

Like a shot of adrenaline straight to the bloodstream, my body reacted. I looked up and brushed my bangs out of my eyes with the end of my pen so I could clearly see the girl holding out the cup and bag. She was glowing again; the sun was shining in around her, making her silky dark hair sparkle to an almost blue hue.

“This is my apology,” she said, looking as serious as I’ve ever seen her, “for being such a rude, nosey bitch to you last night. I’m really sorry. I mean, what you do in your personal life is totally none of my business, and I shouldn’t have been meddlesome. Please believe me when I say I never meant to offend you.”

Confession #10: So maybe I needed to work on my small talk.

I was so startled I didn’t even know how to begin to react. I hadn’t been expecting any kind of apology, mostly because I didn’t need one. She hadn’t done anything wrong last night. It wasn’t a crime to ask questions. And her questions had seemed so innocent in their curiosity, lacking any kind of judgment to them, I wouldn’t have even called them rude questions. It was my own fault I’d managed to make myself feel guilty about a lot of points she’d brought up. That was on me. Not her.

She leaned in, filling my head with that scent that I was quickly coming to associate with her alone, and everything in me went tense with alert desire.

What the hell was she doing?

All I could think was kiss. She was going to kiss me. On the cheek? The forehead? Mouth? I had no clue, but I craved any of those possibilities so much that I just sat there in eager, frozen anticipation.

But then, all she did was set the cup and bag on the bench next to me before pulling away as soon as she was done.

“It’s a bear claw in the bag and a white chocolate mocha espresso in the cup,” she told me. “I don’t… I wasn’t sure what you’d like, so I hope it’ll do.”

Disappointment filled me. I have no idea why I’d been thinking she was going to kiss me. I was an idiot, I guess.

Her smile was so big and tense, I knew I should say something, but… Nothing came to mind. My thoughts raced. I should thank her; it was the most suitable reply. But I wanted to reassure her most of all that she had nothing to apologize for.

Damn, life was so much easier when people just told you what to do and say. Except that was the very life I wanted to break away from. So I should be able to handle this.

Which I totally didn’t do.

Unease filled the cracks of tension in the smile she flashed me. “Okay, then,” she said with forced cheer, before clearing her throat and taking a step back. “Have a good day.”

With that, she turned away and left.

And I had said absolutely nothing the entire time she’d stood there.

My heart began to pound with these big, walloping thumps, as if trying to beat me up from the inside for my lame, awkward reaction. Not being prepared for her abrupt appearance was no excuse. I was a dumbass, plain and simple. I was tempted to stand up and race after her, apologize, or…I don’t know. Do something to feel better about how I hadn’t even spoken.

But seriously, she’d be better off if I stayed out of her life. I’d already put a target on her back. Except, dammit, she’d made my sister happy. The very least I could do was thank her for that.

Then again, I was a little too tuned in to everything she did. It could grow into an unhealthy obsession if I didn’t watch myself. And this was so not the time for me to spend my energy thinking about a girl that was so obviously off-limits.

I glanced after her, watching her become smaller as she moved farther away, and some strange knot of tension loosened inside me, even as other things perked up, growing a little too excited for my comfort.

It was the strangest experience. How could one person relax you even as they made you tenser?

Yeah, I should probably just stay away from that. I was grateful for everything she’d done for Sarah, but honestly, the best thing I could do for her was back off.

Yet even as I made my decision, I glanced down at her apology gift.

As unnecessary as it was, it was still sweet of her. Curiosity got the best of me; I picked up the cup, studying the logo on the side. I’d never ordered anything there, unable to convince the cheapskate side of myself that spending that much for a simple drink was worth it.

I took my first, hesitant sip, only to rear back when I burned my tongue.

Shit.

Hot.

But, hmm, not bad.

Prepared for the heat this time, but unable to stay away because it was all just too tempting, I drank again.

It reminded me of her: sweet and bold, yet innocent with a hint of sass. An exciting yet soothing flavor.

I finished it before I meant to, kind of wishing I’d drawn out the experience a little longer to truly savor each swallow. But I wanted to see what was in the bag before my first class started. So I opened it and pulled out the pastry that Reese had called a bear claw. The smell got to me, reminding me I’d skipped breakfast, so I bit in enthusiastically and even moaned at the flavor.

I looked down at the book that was still open in my lap and realized it was probably time for me to get to class. After I gathered my things and stood, I glanced toward the nearest trash can to toss the empty cup and bag, only to notice the side of the cup read Reese written sloppily in black marker on the side.

For some reason, that clued me into the fact that she hadn’t been carrying two cups when she’d given me her apology. And if she’d ordered two drinks, would they write her name on both? I had no idea; I’d never bought anything there before. But it all made me wonder… Why would she go to the coffee shop and get me something, yet nothing for herself? Unless she’d gotten it for herself and only planned on giving it to me at the last moment in a split-second decision when she saw me sitting here.

Don’t ask why my mind went there. It made no difference either way and yet… It kind of did. A pre-planned purchase would mean it had been bothering her all night. But a spur-of-the-moment, hey-there-he-is, I-should-give-him-something kind of situation would put me a little more at ease, and I don’t think I could then feel so bad for my crappy response to it.

In any case, it was a sweet gesture, and I couldn’t stop thinking about the girl behind it throughout my morning classes. She seemed like the simple, open, cheerfully bright sort, and yet that made her so puzzling to me. Did women like that really exist? Or was I just so jaded by my latest encounters with them to know any better?

By the time lunch rolled around, the bear claw had worn off. I headed to the cafeteria, but as I approached from a side hall, Reese strolled out, not far behind a group of other girls, though it was obvious she wasn’t with them. Carrying a salad and drink with her book bag strapped over her back, she hurried ahead to catch the door to outside with her hip as it began to fall closed from the other departing ladies.

Wedging her way out with both hands full, she kept walking with a confidently perky stride, her silky straight hair swishing from one side to the other over the lump of her backpack.

Through the windows, I watched her sit, and though she was alone, she didn’t look lonely. She just looked so perfectly content to be exactly where she was and doing exactly what she was doing that it drew me in like a moth to a flame.

My own lunch forgotten, I followed her outside. Also exiting my memory banks was my decision to stay away from her. Nothing good could come from getting anywhere near this girl, and yet before I knew it, before I even knew what I would say to her, I was at her table.

My shadow fell over her lunch, making her jerk in surprise. Gasping, she looked up as if she expected to see a serial killer.

I almost took a step back and lifted my hands to show her that I came in peace. But could there ever be any peace in her life if I was hanging around it? The best thing I could do here was apologize and get the hell lost.

But I remained.

Shaking her head, she blinked a haunted look from her eyes before wrinkling her nose in confusion when she realized it was me. She made a sound as if the beginning of a question, but she never asked anything.

So I said, “What’d you say that drink you gave me this morning was called again?”

No idea why I asked that. I didn’t give a fuck what the drink was called. But it was something to say and kept me from blurting out other things that were really on my mind, namely an apology of my own.

“Umm…” She shook her head slightly, probably wondering why I was finally talking to her. That made two of us. “Uh, it was a…a white chocolate mocha espresso. Why?”

Why? Why did she have to say why? I had no idea why I’d asked, other than to say something.

Panicking, I just nodded and made a humming sound in the back of my throat, trying to play it off. “It wasn’t bad,” I said. “Thanks.”

Thanks?

Wow, I was a moron.

“Well…” She kept staring at me as if I’d lost my mind. “Yeah. And…and thank you for, you know, forgiving me for the way I acted last night.”

I squinted at her, trying to remember when I’d forgiven her for anything. This would probably be a good time to tell her she hadn’t even needed to apologize.

But she blew out a pleased breath and swiped at her brow, looking relieved. “I thought you totally hated me.”

For real? Yikes, I guess I needed to work on my expressions if she’d ever thought that. Or maybe I should congratulate myself for being so awesome at concealing what I was really feeling.

Since I didn’t like knowing I’d worried her, I admitted, “No. I don’t… I don’t hate you.” But I had to look away as I said it because it felt a little too intimate of a thing to admit out loud.

This was so fucking awkward. You’d think I’d know how to talk to a girl. But since the conversation didn’t revolve around how and where she wanted it, I was just…lost.

Okay, I told myself. Just… Just pretend she’s Sarah. I could talk to Sarah. No problem.

Then again, most of my Sarah interactions involved brotherly teasing. Was it okay to tease a girl you wanted, even though you shouldn’t want her?

No clue. But thinking about my sister did cause me to remember.

“So I talked to Sarah this morning,” I blurted, grabbing the straps of my messenger bag for moral support.

“Oh, God,” Reese moaned, closing her eyes and slapping a hand to her forehead. “She told you about the makeup, didn’t she? Oh…fudge. Is Dawn pissed? Is she going to fire me? I swear, I removed every inch of it before she went to bed. We even—”

“No!” I cried, waving a hand to reassure her. Then I realized. Okay. “Yes,” I amended, since Sarah had told me something about makeup. Then I muttered a curse under my breath, mortified by how badly I was flubbing this up.

To calm myself, I blew out a long breath. Then I started over.

“Yes,” I said slowly. “Sarah told me about the makeup. She told me about everything you two did last night. And no, Mom is not going to fire you.” I grinned in amusement over the very idea. “She’s probably going to give you a bear hug the next time she sees you.”

Okay, so Mom probably wouldn’t do that either, but it was what I wanted to do for the way she’d delighted my sister, so I felt the need to mention it, even if it were in correlation with my mother and not me.

“Sarah was absolutely glowing this morning,” I explained. “I’ve… I’ve honestly never seen her so happy. So whatever you think you did to annoy me last night after my shower has been erased tenfold by everything you did for my sister.”

Her mouth fell open. She looked affected—in a good way—so I began to think, yes, I wasn’t botching this conversation up after all.

But then a moment later, her nose wrinkled with irritation. “And you couldn’t have said anything like this to me earlier this morning, because… Why?” she demanded, flinging out a hand as if waiting for me to explain myself.

It was so freaking cute, I couldn’t help myself. I smiled.

Sugar and spice and everything nice, that’s what this girl was made of.

Her scowl deepened, and yet I knew she wasn’t pissed-pissed at me. Not sure how I knew that, but I could just feel it. It was like an already forgiven kind of irritation on her face.

So, I shrugged. “You were giving me food…and apologizing. If I had said anything then, you might’ve taken that bear claw back.”

She snorted and rolled her eyes. “You are such a guy.”

My grin grew. She sounded like Sarah.

Sighing at me again, Reese motioned beside her to the rest of the bench seat. “So, are you going to sit down or not?”

Wait. What?

My smile fell flat. Because…sit down? Next to her?

Strolling over here like a mindless dumbass and merely talking to her had already been more than I should’ve done. But…actually sitting next to her…

I shouldn’t.

And yet…

“You don’t mind?” I asked warily. The mere rumors about me were usually enough to make every other female keep their distance altogether or only seek me out in private to get something they wanted. But she knew what I was. Why would she want me to stick around for any longer than necessary?

With a wince, she rubbed the back of her neck. “I mind this crick in my neck you’re giving me by making me look up at you,” she said before dropping her hand. “Sit down already.”

She was serious. She actually wanted me to sit at the same table as her and keep talking openly with her.

Holding my breath and waiting for her to come to her senses, I slowly slipped the strap of my bag off my shoulder and sat.

Confession #11: But I enjoyed talking to her, anyway.

“Comfy?”

I glanced at Reese blankly.

I’d just set my bag on the bench between us so no one could even suggest anything inappropriate might be going on here. But I must’ve made too big of a production of making us look non-romantic, because she sounded beyond amused.

When I met her gaze, blue-blue eyes crinkled with a smile. That little obsessed part inside me sighed in contentment.

Turning her attention back to her food as she stabbed a crouton as if she hadn’t just made my heart go ka-thump, she said, “I feel like your mom totally played me, by the way.”

At the mention of my mom, I cringed. “I know. I’m sorry about that. I told her she needs to tell people about Sarah’s condition whenever she interviews them. But she insists it takes her five times longer to find a willing sitter when she does.”

Nodding, Reese picked out another crouton and chewed. “I don’t see how I’m allowed to watch Sarah at all,” she went on. “Not that I’m complaining, because your sister is absolutely the sweetest thing ever, but… Doesn’t she need, like, a trained medical professional watching her or something?”

I shrugged. “No. I watch her all the time, and I have no medical training. It’s not like you have to give her any of her prescriptions or treatments when you watch her either. That all lands on the day sitter, who, okay, is a retired nurse, but government programs pay her wages, whereas your job is off the records since you only work part-time every couple of evenings. Mom and I pay you cash out of pocket.”

“Oh.” She paused eating to frown thoughtfully. When she glanced my way, I caught sight of some crouton crumbs at the corner of her mouth. The urge to wipe them away for her—or, hell, to lick them away—was strong. I could so easily just picture myself leaning in and lapping everything up, then grinning into her eyes as she laughed over it all. It was such a warm, comfortable vision I felt a little sad that it couldn’t come true.

But then she unconsciously licked at the crumbs, cleaning them before I could even tell her they were there, and she pushed a strand of hair out of her face that the breeze had fluttered into her eyes. “You know,” she went on with no clue how much she affected me. “I kind of freaked out when I saw her picture board. I thought she couldn’t talk at all.”

I laughed. “The picture board?” No. “Mom didn’t really show you that, did she? God, Sarah hasn’t used that stupid thing in over a year, and she only needed it in extreme situations when she was too excited or distressed to talk properly.” I growled in aggravation. “I swear, I love my mother to death, but sometimes the woman is way too overprotective.” And at other times, she was way too under protective. “She can treat Sarah as if she’s still two.”

Reese nodded. “Yeah, I figured the board was unnecessary about one-point-eight seconds after your mom left when I touched a picture of the TV and Sarah rolled her eyes at me.”

I had to laugh. “Sounds like Sarah.”

“And the whole blended supper thing…” Reese went on.

“Also unnecessary,” I admitted, growing a little embarrassed about how useless Mom had made poor Sarah look.

Reese only snorted. “Well, I should hope so. When she took a cookie off the table, I almost had a heart attack, trying to remember the steps to CPR in case she choked.” She leaned toward me, making my breath stall as her scent filled my nostrils. “Actually, after seeing that, I made us some s’mores for our campfire later on.”

I leaned in too, because how could I not? I think I could sit here and just smell her for the rest of my life. “I know,” I murmured, grinning. “She told me.”

She shivered as if my nearness affected her the same way it affected me. My mind spun with possibilities. I considered nothing but the fact that she might like me the same way I liked her. And fuck, what an addictive thought that was. I started to lean just a little closer, test the waters, when she suddenly pulled away and returned to her meal as if nothing had happened.

“She’s a sweet girl.”

Christ. What the hell had I been thinking? I could have nothing with this girl. Just sitting here talking to her was probably more forbidden than I should’ve dared. Why had my mind been going there?

Forcing myself to remain chill, I answered, “She is.”

Reese opened a packet of ranch dressing and poured it over her salad. “It’s a shame she wasn’t invited to that slumber party.”

Gritting my teeth over the reminder, I muttered, “Oh, you don’t have to convince me. I know.” Watching her stab a piece of lettuce, I had to ask, “Do you always eat rabbit food?”

“Hmm?” She looked at her salad as if just then realizing what she was eating. Then she rolled her eyes my way. “Uh, you ate what I was going to have for breakfast. What do you think?”

“Aha!” I cried, pointing. “I knew that was your breakfast you gave me.”

Her mouth opened as if she wanted to deny it, but then her shoulders slumped as she stabbed more lettuce. “Whatever,” she mumbled. “I bet you didn’t.”

“Oh, I knew,” I insisted, smug about the fact I’d been able to read her so well and had actually pegged the situation right. “You think a drink bought for a guy would be a white chocolate mocha espresso? Really?”

She frowned. “Hey, I thought you said you liked it.”

“I did,” I assured her. “It was way too sweet though. Like girly sweet.” I grinned and lowered my voice. “Must be your lucky day. I just so happen to like it extra sweet.”

Instead of looking amused, her scowl only grew. “You are so…”

Falling prey to the playfulness of the moment, I teased, “Charming? Handsome? Intriguing?”

She sent me a dry glance. “I was going to say confusing.” But something in her eyes glittered with agreement over the other terms.

Pleased with myself, I nodded. “We’ll slot that under intriguing.”

With a sniff, she rolled her eyes. “Actually, I think it really deserves its own classification.”

“Fine. Whatever you like.” I shrugged, letting her have her way.

“I do like,” she sassed back, removing the tomatoes from her salad and piling them onto a nearby napkin.

“Aren’t you going to eat those?” I asked, not sure why I was so interested in her food. I wanted to learn more about her. But I couldn’t just come right out and ask those kinds of questions, so I guessed I was trying the old “what’s your fantasy?” tactic, asking about food instead, so I could glean her personality from whatever response she gave.

And she was simply adorable when she wrinkled her nose. “What? My tomatoes? Eww.”

“How can you not like tomatoes?” I demanded, blinking.

She shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s nothing personal against them. I’m sure they’re very pleasant in a social setting, and they’re fine in, like, ketchup and spaghetti and stuff. I just don’t want them on my salad.”

I loved that answer. It was cute and fun and original. I stared at her tomatoes, trying not to think about how much more this made me like her, when she said, “Do…you want them?”

I wasn’t going to turn down anything she offered me, be it cast-off tomato chunks or sex right here on this bench in front of everyone. This girl had me that fascinated.

So I took the tomatoes and plunked one into my mouth, because I really was hungry.

“Thanks,” I said, appreciating the gift. “Mmm. These are perfect. Nice and juicy. Do you have any salt?”

She looked dazed as she watched me eat. It took her a moment to blink herself back to reality, glance around, and say, “Uh… You’re in luck. I do.”

She tossed a miniature packet of salt at me, and I caught it with a smile. “Thanks. Again.”

Catching her watching me as I sprinkled my tomatoes, I said, “What? Don’t you put salt on your tomatoes?”

I swear, this was the strangest conversation I’d ever had with anyone. I was talking about tomatoes, for crying out loud. But it was also the most fun I’d had chatting with anyone in quite a while, so I didn’t even care what we were discussing. Just as long as she kept talking to me, I was ready to discuss freaking salted tomatoes.

Reese sent me a get-real glance. “Seeing as I don’t even eat tomatoes, no. I was just…sorry.” She blushed suddenly and glanced away. “I seem to have a slight staring problem today.”

My guts twisted with need when I realized she hadn’t been staring at me because she thought my salted tomatoes were strange; she’d just liked looking at me. I ordered myself to calm the fuck down, and I pretended to act as if I’d known this all along.

“I noticed,” I said before popping a tomato chunk into my mouth.

She wrinkled her nose as if annoyed by my answer, which strangely only made me happier.

“Not only do you eat rabbit food,” I said, pointing at her, “but I swear you must be one.”

“Huh?” She tipped her head to the side and frowned.

“That’s the second time you’ve wrinkled your nose at me,” I explained. “Total bunny move.”

She looked momentarily caught off guard, as if looking like a rabbit was something to be guilty about, but then something caught her eye over my shoulder and her expression brightened.

“Oh! Hey, Dr. Janison,” she called, waving. “Good morning. Those are some kick-ass shoes.”

I glanced over, my gaze down, since Reese had mentioned shoes. And wow, they were definitely some shoes.

Four-inch heels, easily a fancy name brand, I’m sure, and way too ostentatious for a mere community college setting.

I was mentally rolling my eyes at them when the woman Reese had just called Dr. Janison spoke. “Good morning,” she said in a voice that was way too familiar. “And thank you.”

I looked up, already knowing what I would see, and dreading it just as much.

Dr. Janison looked only vaguely the same as she had last night when she’d been naked on her bed, glaring at me for saying the name Reese while I’d been inside her. Now, she was decked out in a form-fitting dress, makeup on thick, and hair styled to the nines.

Reese might know her as Dr. Janison, and Patricia had called her Monica. But to me, she was 318 Willowbrook Terrace.

Fuck, I’d been hoping to God I would never see her again.

Then I realized I was not only seeing her again, but I was seeing her with Reese next to me.

Oh, shit. Reese.

“I’m Ree—” Reese was beginning to say, introducing herself and causing my heart to plummet as everything hit the fan.

But then Monica finally glanced my way, and the shock in her expression caused Reese to fall mute. The teacher physically jerked backward away from me before gasping a hoarse, “Mr. Lowe.”

Reese whipped her attention to me, but I’d already glanced away from Monica. “Dr. Janison,” I returned, since that’s what Reese had called her.

I wasn’t sure what to do. If she found out this was Reese, the very Reese I’d shouted about last night, she’d no doubt run and tell Patricia before I could stop her.

I had to protect Reese and keep her identity a secret.

Before I could come up with a plan, however, Reese did the most insane thing ever. She reached out and set her hand on my forearm that I had resting on the table. Her fingers were soft and warm and felt really good, but holy shit! What was she doing?

I glanced at her face, only to see her scowling slightly at Monica.

Holy fuck. I think she was trying to protect me, like she thought the professor was being all censorious because of my reputation, and she was either trying to reassure me that not everyone thought I was a shit stain piece of trash, or she wanted to show Dr. Janison that I wasn’t. Either way, it was sweet. Totally misguided, but so damn sweet.

And it ruined everything. Monica zeroed in on Reese’s hand and immediately glanced between us, connecting dots I never wanted her to know even existed.

“I found a pair of knock-off Jimmy Choos similar to that style online one time,” Reese went on, patting my arm in reassurance. “In a silver pump, and I wanted them so bad. But even the replicas were more than I could afford.”

Monica smirked, her expression so superior and smug I wanted to shove her away from us for even polluting the same air as Reese. “I do have expensive taste,” she said, glancing knowingly at me.

Jesus. Could this moment get any worse?

Yes, apparently, it could.

“Is our meeting to discuss your class schedule still on for next Thursday, Mr. Lowe?” Monica glanced toward Reese as she asked, with a glint in her eyes that chilled my skin.

That’s when I knew. She’d figured out this was the girl whose name I had cried out the night before. And she would use it to extort me into doing whatever she wanted.

If anything bad happened to Reese because of this, it would be my fault.

She was innocent, completely unaware of the danger I’d gotten her into. She didn’t deserve to be put into this situation.

I had to fix it.

So, I muttered, “Of course,” as I sent Monica a hard stare, unable to believe she was threatening an innocent girl just to get her selfish needs met.

“Good,” she said, beginning to smile. She flickered another glance at Reese. I wanted to snarl at her for looking anywhere near my friend. “I look forward to seeing you then.”

With that, she turned away and strutted off, making me loathe her with almost as much intensity as I hated her friend, Patricia.

Confession #12: Reese could distract me from pretty much everything.

Reese immediately turned to me, clearly not an idiot. “You don’t have any classes with her, do you?”

I gnashed my teeth, thinking up every curse word known to man. “No,” I admitted.

She suddenly moved her hand off my arm. “Oh.”

I felt rejected, exposed, and ashamed all in the same breath.

But what did I really expect? It wasn’t as if I’d taken the morally upright path in life. And that scared off certain kinds of people. Reese’s kind of people. I should’ve known better.

Damn, I had known better. I just… I hadn’t been able to help myself. I’d had to talk to her today as much as I’d needed air in my lungs.

Snagging my bag, I started to stand, calling myself an idiot. “This was a mistake,” I bit out. “I never should’ve sat beside you.”

Now Monica knew who she was, and I’d put Reese in danger. Plus, I’d probably just killed her reputation, too.

As I stood, Reese muttered, “Well, thanks a lot. I had a sucktacular time talking to you too.”

Dammit.

“I didn’t…” I’d hurt her feelings. I hadn’t meant to hurt her feelings. Closing my eyes, I fisted my hands and sat back down next to her. “Reese, I didn’t mean it that way. I swear.”

“Then how exactly did you mean it?” she said. “Because it sounded pretty rude from every angle I heard it.”

I looked at her before motioning vaguely around the quad. “Don’t you get it? I just doomed you. By talking to you in public, by sitting with you at this table…” Unable to tell her everything but hoping just this much would be enough, I waved my hand. “Everyone here thinks we’ve had sex.”

And sex with the likes of me would slaughter her image.

She laughed as if I were being ridiculous. “Oh, whatever. I seriously doubt that. I barely even touched your arm. People do not…” She glanced around and blinked at how many people were actually paying attention to us. “Or maybe they do.”

As her shoulders sank bashfully, her eyes wide with alarm, I felt the humbling need to apologize.

But she nodded and gulped audibly as if accepting her new reputation with grace. “So…uh, Dr. Janison is really one of your, umm, clients then?” She groaned suddenly and let her shoulders sag. “Wow. This is going to make my next Early British Literature class way awkward.”

“Wait.” I grabbed her arm, trying not to panic. “Are you saying you have a class with her? With Dr. Janison?” When she nodded, my hopes sank. “Shit.”

“What?” Reese asked, her voice alarmed. “What does that mean?”

“Look.” I sighed, knowing I’d do anything to fix this, to keep her grade from suffering, because I was the dumbass who’d approached her in public and freaking sat beside her the night after calling her name inside another woman. “If she starts giving you a tough time, or failing you or…anything, let me know. I’ll talk to her.”

Except I planned to talk to her, anyway.

Reese’s eyes grew wide. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why… Why would she fail me just for sitting next to you on a public bench?” Then her face paled as if she were already getting a clue.

I’d already told her too much so I sat there miserably as she shook her head.

“But that makes no sense. Even if we had…you know, had sex or whatever, she has no reason to get jealous. Doesn’t she know she can’t possibly be your only…customer?”

“Of course she knows,” I muttered, not about to tell her exactly what kind of bone Monica had to pick with Reese specifically. So I said, “But you’re obviously not a customer. She might feel slighted if she thinks I gave you a…” I waved a hand, thinking quick before blurting, “You know, a freebie.”

“Wow.” Pulling back in obvious insult, Reese lifted her hand. “Okay. But wow. Not only is this the strangest conversation ever but, wow. A freebie?”

“You know what I mean,” I mumbled.

But Reese only laughed. “Just convince her I paid for it then, that I’m, you know, a client too, just like her.”

Huh? “What?” I asked. “You don’t want me to tell her we’re not fooling around at all?”

With an immediate blush, Reese averted her gaze and waved a hand. “Or that. That…I mean, sure, the truth would probably be best. Yeah. Let’s stick with the truth.”

God, she was cute. How the fuck could she make the worst thing feel fun? “Except she won’t buy it,” I said, forcing myself to remember the gravity of the situation here. “And she knows you can’t be a client.”

“Hey. Why couldn’t I be a client?”

Damn, she was perfect. I loved the young, innocent naïve parts of her just as much as I loved her spunk and verve. “Reese, you just admitted you couldn’t afford the same kind of shoes as her. There’s no way you could afford me.”

“Oh, really?” She arched an eyebrow and set her hands on her hips. “Just how much do you cost, Mr. Ego?”

Going for shock value so she would stop making such light of this, I leaned in and whispered, “Three grand,” into her ear.

Her mouth gaped open before she squeaked, “Okay, yeah. I couldn’t afford that. But… Wow, I don’t know.” She waved a hand. “Don’t you have a payment plan or something? Reduced prices for the lower income?”

I laughed. How was this girl even possible? She was about as intuitive as she was clueless. The mix charmed me as much as it worried me. She seriously needed protection from every Monica and Patricia of the world. They’d eat her alive. And that would probably destroy me.

“No,” I said. “I do not offer payment plans. Are you for real? I play the expensive way or I don’t play at all. I don’t do this for my health, you know.”

“Then why—”

“Because being a decent, moral upstanding citizen didn’t keep the eviction notices away,” I exploded. “It didn’t get my sister a new wheelchair. It didn’t put food on my mother’s table. It didn’t keep the electric company from turning off our power in the middle of the hottest day of the year. And it sure as hell didn’t get me enrolled in college this semester. This is all about the money. Only about the money. Got it?”

When she shied back, I realized I’d gone too far. Felt like I’d just slapped a damn kitten.

“Got it,” she said, trying yet failing to smile. She waved a hand. “Actually, that explanation makes you sound kind of noble, you know, with you falling on the sword of absolute depravity to save your family. You’d probably make a good Saturday afternoon movie.”

I’d been trying to warn her here—she could get into all kinds of different trouble from hanging around me—and yet she was trying to make me look like some kind of selfless, noble martyr. Had she missed the part where I got paid to fuck people?

When the hell had I slipped in a rabbit hole where everything I thought to be true was backward?

“You’re…insane,” I murmured, not sure what else to say. Because it was either that, or I’d gone insane. But in a good way. I may not ever want my lucidity back if crazy was always like this.

Reese flashed me another one of her adorable nose-wrinkles. “Only on Thursdays.”

Okay, that was it. One genuine conversation with this girl and I think she owned me. I was hooked. I liked her crazy, her sass, her sweet, her perception, and even her ignorance. She was strange, and interesting, and fun, the perfect bit of escape from my morally depraved, life-sucking existence.

Momentarily forgetting all my worries, I ate another tomato, feeling lighter and brighter, just from being in her company. Everything that had been weighing me down just kind of took a back seat.

“So, you don’t give out freebies?” she asked in a conversational tone, as one might use if she wanted to borrow a pen. “Like ever?”

I stopped chewing, my mind going places I’m sure it shouldn’t, but there it went anyway. “Are you…asking for one?”

The scary part of that question was, I’d give her one. If she said yes, she wanted me, I would drop every bit of ethical beliefs I had left and I’d—

“What?” Her eyes went huge as she cried, “No! God, no.”

Well, okay then.

Ouch.

Her rejection was definitely for the best, but still. A simple no would have sufficed. She was the only girl I would’ve done this for, after all.

But then she glanced away, blushing, making me wonder if she was lying. Hope flared back to life inside me. Not that I actually wanted her to say yes, but it would’ve been nice if she secretly wanted me as much as I wanted her.

“I’m not—” She broke off abruptly, making me wonder what she’d almost said, before she forcefully repeated, “No! I’m not like that. I need to be in, you know, a committed, monogamous relationship, and…in love, and stuff, before I…I sleep with someone.”

In love.

Hearing her say those words made me jealous of anyone she’d ever slept with. I wondered what it would feel like for this girl to love me.

My curiosity—and, okay, some jealousy too—got the best of me. I eased closer. “Have you ever been in love?” I had to know.

She gaped at me. “Are you asking if I’m a virgin? Because I’m not—”

Whoa! What? I lifted my hands, instantly retracting. “That’s not what I’m asking.”

“Oh.” She relaxed, then cleared her throat and glanced away. “Well… I don’t… I’m not sure what I was, if it was stupid, too-young-to-know-better infatuation or what, but it definitely wasn’t love. And I’m not about to make the mistake of not knowing the difference ever again.”

That answer shouldn’t please me. She’d pretty much just confessed that some guy had hurt her, but all my stupid brain could compute was that she’d never given anyone else her heart. And so I heard myself saying, “Good,” before I could properly think my words through.

Reese gave me an odd look before blatantly changing the subject. “So, if it’s common knowledge around here that you’re really, you know, what you are, then how have you never been arrested before?”

“It’s not common knowledge. It’s a common rumor,” I corrected her, hating that she only wanted to talk about that, even as I felt a certain relief that—finally—I had someone I didn’t have to be so deceptive around. Plus, talking about it made it a blaring reminder that I could never have her. It was a good thing to keep out there in front of both of us, so I wouldn’t cross any lines.

Still. It bothered me how filthy and depraved she must think I was. Because I had done some pretty kinky shit I wasn’t exactly proud of, shit I wouldn’t have done unless someone was paying me a lot of money. Which… Probably only made me an even lower life form than before. Jesus.

“You’re not going to leave this alone, are you?” I asked, ready to move past the memories of every despicable thing I’d done in the name of paid bills.

And yet, Reese merely grinned as if this was all just entertainment to her. “Hey, it’s not every day I meet a gigolo.”

I choked on the tomato chunk I’d just taken a bite of, my eyes growing wide over how loudly she’d announced that.

With an apologetic wince, she hunched her shoulders and nearly whispered, “Can you blame me for being curious? I have, like, a million questions. But… Only if you’re cool with answering them.”

I stared at her, not sure what to say. She was so blasé about the whole thing. It was relieving not to be judged, just as much as it was maddening, because I kind of wanted her to care. I wanted her to be as interested in me as I was in her, therefore she should be resentful of my secret life. It was a strange, contradictory wish, I know, but so was everything else in my life these days. I always felt pulled in two polar opposite directions.

Deciding to be amused, I sniffed out a laugh and shook my head. “You read a lot of Nancy Drew mysteries when you were a kid, didn’t you?”

She wrinkled her nose. “No. I’ve never even read one. Harry Potter is more my style, and yeah, his curiosity got him into trouble a lot too. As you well know.”

But, “No,” I countered, shaking my head. “I’ve never read Harry Potter.”

Gasping, she pressed a hand to her heart. “Are you kidding me? But… Everyone’s read Harry Potter.”

“Not me.”

“But…but…they’re so…amazing. Don’t worry.” She patted my arm and nodded in reassurance. “I have all the books in the series sitting in my apartment. Next time I babysit Sarah, I’ll bring the first one over for you to see what you think.”

God, I liked it when she touched me. And what was worse, she didn’t remove her fingers after the friendly pat. Her flesh began to burn against mine with the most delicious kind of heat. And all I could seem to think about was how good it’d feel if we were touching everywhere with no clothes between us.

I wanted to find out what that would be like with her.

Which was weird. These days, I never had sexual fantasies about women. I mostly just wanted to avoid them. But this girl with her eclectic moods and quirky way made me want.

“I don’t do freebies,” I reminded myself—unfortunately aloud—slowly pulling my arm out from under her hand. “Ever.”

Meaning, I couldn’t do her. And hell, I shouldn’t even talk to her.

“But I wasn’t…” she started, only to roll her eyes and pick up her fork to stab at her salad savagely. When she petulantly muttered, “Whatever,” I realized how she’d probably interpreted my words.

I hadn’t assumed she’d been coming onto me when she’d touched me. I should probably tell her that. But if I let her think I was an ass, maybe she’d keep her distance, because that was safer for both of us.

“What about your personal life, though?” She went on a second later as if I hadn’t just hurt her feelings. “What about dating and—”

When I laughed and shook my head, she scowled at me. “What’s so funny?”

I lifted my eyebrows. She really didn’t get it, did she? “Dating? Personal life? Are you serious? The only girls who sniff around me are willing to pay or they’re looking for free services rendered, which only pisses me off.”

“But—”

“And all you monogamous, relationship-conscious ladies stay as far away from me as possible for obvious reasons.”

She wrinkled her nose. “That can’t be true. I’m sure plenty of—”

“Reese.” I lifted my eyebrows. “Honestly, would you date a…person of my occupation?”

With an apologetic cringe, she mumbled, “Good point.”

“Yeah,” I sighed. “Exactly.”

“Well, that’s just sad.” She looked at me as if she wanted to touch me again and comfort me. “You can’t date or have recreational…fun or even fall in love just because you went to drastic measures to save your family?”

“I was eighteen when I fell into this,” I tried to explain. “At the time, I was too young and stupid to think about how it would impact my future…so...” I shrugged. “There you have it. Now I’m stuck.”

“No.” She must be an eternal optimist because she sent me an encouraging smile. “You can’t be stuck. Surely there’s something else you could do to make money. Something legal and…and…”

“Moral?” I suggested dryly.

She pointed, nodding encouragingly, like some kind of life coach. “Yes, and moral. And...”

I laughed and then did the forbidden. I reached out and briefly let my fingers barely drift across the surface of her cheek. “You’re cute, Reese,” I said, mentally making this my farewell speech. “Cheerful. Optimistic. Funny. But completely deluded.” I stood up, forcing myself to finally go. “Thanks for making my sister smile. And thanks for the tomatoes. I’ll see you around.” And I took off before I could mess anything else up.

Confession #13: I usually messed shit up worse when I tried to fix my mistakes.

I didn’t look back as I walked away, and it felt really shitty and lonely. She was such an unusual girl, a breath of fresh air; I wanted to turn around and go back to sit in her company longer.

But I remembered I needed to see a teacher about a girl.

I wandered the halls for about fifteen minutes before finally winding my way down a back corridor and glancing inside an open doorway before I found her.

Dr. Janison sat at a desk in an office that was roughly the size of a cardboard box and didn’t even have windows. Watching her studiously read the screen of the computer in front of her, I shook my head. How could a woman from Willowbrook Terrace be a teacher at a community college? Granted, Waterford was well funded and probably one of the nicest schools in the area, but still… The two didn’t add up.

She had said she’d married her husband for the money. Then again, in that case, there was no reason for her to work at all. Unless she just liked her job. I scratched my head. Community college English professor didn’t exactly scream dream job to me. But what did I know? To each their own. I didn’t care about her whys; I just wanted her out of my life and out of Reese’s firing range.

“I told you I wasn’t available next Thursday,” I said, making her jump and snap her attention up.

She blinked at me a moment before running her gaze down my jeans and shirt and smiling in pleasure.

“Mason,” she finally said, her voice full of ownership.

I narrowed my eyes.

Letting out an amused chuckle, she waved me forward. “Come in. Shut the door.” She sounded like a freaking professor who actually wanted to talk to a student about their homework.

I glanced down the hall both ways, unease creeping up the back of my neck. Maybe I shouldn’t have confronted her here. But I hadn’t wanted to wait too long or she might contact Patricia. And I’d already wasted precious minutes talking outside with Reese.

It was time I did some damage control.

Feeling like every other clueless idiot out there who’d made a deal with the devil, I stepped into her den and sat stiffly in the chair on the other side of the desk. Then I forced myself to slump back so I wouldn’t look as uneasy as I felt.

With a low laugh, she watched me, shifting her gaze around my face before letting it travel south and land on my jean-clad knee that was slowly swaying back and forth. “You look like every other student who comes in here to be advised.”

“I am a student,” I said.

She shook her head. “I don’t see why. You’re already quite prolific at the trade you’re in. Why change?”

Like I was going to open up to this woman?

When hell froze over.

“Look.” I sat forward, resting my elbows on my knees and meeting her gaze. “I told you I couldn’t do next Thursday, and yet you asked me again outside just now like you thought you suddenly had something on me that would force me to change my mind. But you don’t, okay? So… We don’t have any kind of deal.”

I started to stand, ready to leave it at that. But I should’ve known better. There was no way she was going to let her opportunity to get what she wanted slip by.

And she didn’t.

Typical.

“Then why did you tell me yes?” she challenged.

I glared. “You know why.”

It irritated the hell out of me how smugly she smiled. “Because you didn’t want your little Reese to realize we were talking about sex?”

My molars ground together so hard I’m surprised they didn’t fuse.

She met my glower with a smile. “Sit back down, Mason.”

I sat.

Why the fuck did I sit? I could’ve just called her bluff and walked. But dammit, I was too afraid of what she might do to Reese. Reese didn’t deserve any repercussions because of my stupidity.

It felt as if I suddenly had Gidget’s dog collar back around my neck, tightening snugly.

Clasping her hands together on the top of her desk in an eerily professional way, Monica sat forward, watching me. “She’s not what I expected. I pictured you going for something more…polished. You know, sophisticated and worldly. Not so immature.”

She was probably trying to describe herself. In which case, that was the very opposite of what I wanted.

I said nothing, refusing to give anything away.

I could tell it bugged her. Her smile faded. “I mean, she’s cute enough, I guess, if you prefer the girl-next-door type. But she’s just so…gauche. I remember her in class. Her laugh is freakishly loud and ostentatious.”

Oh no, she didn’t. She dared to attack the laugh? The very laugh I loved? Those were fighting words right there.

The urge to defend Reese rose, but I managed to remain stonily silent.

“Patricia would chew her up and spit her out without breaking a sweat.”

“Patricia doesn’t need to know anything about it,” I ground out.

Dammit. I broke.

I had given my feelings away. Defeat spiked through me as victory shimmered in Monica’s eyes.

“She’s no one,” I said desperately, forcing out a confused laugh and lifting my hands as if I had no idea why we were even having this conversation. “I don’t know why you think this is newsworthy or something to gossip to your friend about, but it’s not. I barely even know that girl.”

But the woman already had my number. “Then why did you even come here, intent to protect her? Why did you say her name when you were inside me? Why did she have her hand on you like you meant something to her? And why did you just sit there and let her touch you?”

“Are you shitting me?” I blurted out incredulously. “I let a lot of people touch me.” My fingers shook with worry even as I attempted to remain as calm and cool as possible. “She’s just a girl I’ve talked to a few times. She’s no one. I don’t know why I used her last night with you. You told me to picture someone else, and I didn’t have anyone, so hers was the first face to pop into my head because she’d been the last girl I talked to before visiting you. That’s all. She’s not anything to me, she’s a complete innocent, a stranger, and not even worth mentioning to Patricia.”

“My, my.” Monica sat back in her chair and smiled. “I think the boy dost protest too much.”

“Fuck yes,” I told her. “Because I know Patricia. And you obviously do too. She likes to fuck with people just for the fun of it. And I pissed her off, so she’d go after me in a heartbeat if she ever learned of something she thought she could use to actually hurt me. If she believed I liked some girl, it’d be a bloodbath. For the girl. But I don’t. So some completely innocent person getting targeted would be even worse. I don’t want shit like that on my conscience. So why don’t you just keep your mouth shut, and we both forget I ever said one stupid name at the worst moment ever. Okay?”

Monica just watched me. Finally, she tsked and shook her head slowly. “Poor boy,” she murmured. “Don’t you know you’re in the wrong business to have something as useless as a conscience?”

She was telling me.

With a sigh, she sat forward. “I’m not stupid, Mason. You would say exactly what you’re saying now if you did really like this girl.”

I thought it through and shrugged. “Yeah,” I admitted, “I probably would. But I don’t.”

She lifted her hands. “Then you know what you have to do to ensure my silence?”

Fed up with this bullshit, I growled, “You want Thursday? Fine. You can have fucking Thursday.”

But she cringed at that suggestion. “Except, no, I think I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want to wait all the way until Thursday anymore.”

Strangling her would be the easiest solution. It’d solve my problem, protect Reese, and I wouldn’t have to play her little blackmail game or fuck her ever again.

It was really too bad I was completely against murder or even violence.

“Then when?” I asked, sighing out my impatience and rubbing at the center of my forehead irritably.

She just smiled at me and glanced around the small, closed-in office.

I lifted my eyebrows, my stomach churning with unease. No, I wanted to deny, even though I knew where this was going. Not here. Not right now.

But I went ahead and guessed, “Right here? Right now?”

The witch didn’t even nod. She just smiled at me with this gloating kind of triumph that made me want to rebel and tell her to fuck off so badly my gut burned with acid.

Except Reese needed to stay untouched by the likes of Patricia Garrison.

So, I sighed again, in the most lackluster way I could manage. “Whatever,” I mumbled.

Monica snickered. “You know what you have to say.”

Fuck you, was what I wanted to growl. But after rolling my jaw and swallowing my pride, I glanced away and unsteadily rasped, “What’s your fantasy today, professor?”

“Ooh.” She shivered in delight. “I like the way you call me professor.” Opening the top drawer of her desk, she reached inside and pulled out a wad of cloth before flinging it across the desk.

I caught it in one hand, then held it up, letting it fall open until a pair of silver thong underwear hung from my index finger.

“I took them off about five minutes before you showed up in my doorway,” Monica announced, pushing back her chair and crossing her legs to draw attention to the hem of her skirt. “I had a feeling you’d find your way to me.”

Because I was a moron, I decided.

I’d played this all wrong—right into her hands—and given myself away. Now I was fucked. What the hell had I been thinking?

When she stood and set her hands on the desktop, posing at a side angle to best show off her curves, I think she assumed I’d be tantalized by the whole panty-less, older woman, student-teacher thing, but meh. That just wasn’t me.

I had a bad feeling some of the disinterest in me somehow always managed to show through though, because it only made my clients more determined to try to make me want it.

She bent over, sliding her palms flat across the surface of her desk and flashing me her deep cleavage even as she poked her ass out behind her.

“I don’t want compassion this time,” she said, anticipation and excitement glimmering in her gaze. “Let’s get a little rowdier and play naughty professor instead.” She winked at me, already in position for how she wanted me to take her. “How about I be Dr. Janison, the lonely middle-aged English professor in need of a little physical contact?”

Dammit, I groaned internally, even as I met her gaze and slowly stood from my chair. Time to get my head in the game. “Then I’ll be some random college student, just desperate to not fail your class.” Rounding the table, I reached for her hip even as I swallowed down the revulsion rising in my throat. “Whatever could I do to earn a little extra credit, professor?”

Confession #14: Sometimes, I really didn’t like myself.

I missed my afternoon class. But to ensure Reese’s safety, it was worth it.

Monica seemed pleased, anyway.

“Wow,” she panted from the top of her desk where she’d collapsed after coming…for a second time. Sweat matted her hair to her face, and a satisfied laugh tumbled from her lips as she rolled onto her back to gaze up at me, watching me zip my jeans back into place. “I mean…just… Wow. Excellent performance, Mr. Lowe. You were so good, in fact, I’ll make sure your little girlfriend gets an A after all.”

I glanced at her as I fastened the top button of my fly. We hadn’t once discussed Reese’s grade. Why the fuck was she bringing up Reese’s grade?

Shaking my head, I frowned suspiciously. “Why don’t you just give her whatever grade she actually deserves?”

“Hmm?” After lifting her eyebrows, she shrugged and glanced at her fingernails only to frown when she found a small chip that she’d probably gotten from grabbing onto the edge of her desk as hard as she had. “Well, okay then. But I figured you wanted to receive something extra in return for all your hard work.”

“I am,” I said slowly, my eyes narrowing as I stepped closer. “I’m ensuring your silence with Patricia.”

She cringed. “Yes, but the thing is…I already told Patty everything.”

I paused, then very slowly said, “Say what now?”

After tossing out another careless shrug, she added, “Before you even came into my office.”

I took a breath to clear my head because this shit was not funny. I stared at her intently, waiting for her to laugh and tell me she was joking. Because she better be fucking joking.

But she offered no such relief, and my heart skipped a beat.

Oh shit. Mother fucking son of a bitch. She wasn’t joking.

The urge to curse fluidly and grab my hair with two fists as I kicked her desk and maybe even knocked papers off it, scattering them everywhere, filled me until I actually wanted to physically hurt her. Yet despite how much I might scream and rage and blame her for tricking me, sadly, I was mostly just pissed at myself for falling for it.

Because, fuck… Why hadn’t I known better? I’d walked right into that like a damn dumbass. And now… Now Reese had been made.

I shook my head, my skin going cold as I tried not to think about worst-case scenarios, even as fifty of them flooded my head.

“You did what?” I said slowly, just to make sure I hadn’t heard her wrong. “Because you said before we started that—”

Monica’s laugh cut me off. “I said?” she repeated in amusement, pressing a hand to her chest like some kind of innocent angel. “Baby, I said whatever I needed to say to get what I wanted. I mean, isn’t that what you do?”

To clients, maybe. I said what they wanted to hear to get my paycheck. That never hurt anyone, though; it usually left them smiling and feeling better about themselves.

But this… This could hurt Reese. It directly involved risking her safety. Because Patricia was a fucking viper, and if she thought some girl had become special to me, I knew without a doubt she’d find some way to spread her poison all over Reese.

Acid burned and gurgled in my stomach just thinking about the bright and bubbly Reese being hurt.

“Honestly, Mason,” Monica went on, “Patricia’s my best friend. I tell her everything.” A ding from her computer made her perk to attention. “Oh! There.” She reached for her mouse to wake the screen. “That’s her reply now. I was sending her a copy of Miss Randall’s school records when you appeared in my doorway.”

“Wow, because that’s fucking legal,” I snarled.

She snickered, “Said the male prostitute.”

Shit, I couldn’t turn her in for her breach of ethics or she’d turn me in for my own illegal activities.

I glanced away. God, I was such a fool. A stupid naïve fool that hadn’t learned a single thing since Patricia had walked into my backyard two years ago and tricked me into following her home.

“You lied to me,” I charged quietly.

“Aww,” Monica said, reaching out to cup my chin. “Did I hurt your feelings?”

When I jerked out of her grip to glare at her, she chuckled. “Well, it’s time to grow up, sweetheart, and face the facts. You’re a worthless little whore who wasn’t giving me what I wanted. Why did you even think I owed you any kind of honesty or decency?”

The rush of hate and anger that filled my veins momentarily blurred my vision. This instinctive need to grab her neck and start strangling her until her face turned blue and she realized how despicable and amoral she was flashed so strongly inside me I had to ball my hands into fists to physically restrain myself from lifting my arms.

But just under the rage, I felt as low and worthless as she’d just told me I was. Tapping my foot, I managed to relieve enough shame and hopelessness and rage to respond.

“Thank goodness you don’t teach ethics,” I managed to say as calmly as possible, somehow keeping my chin up and back straight. She’d never see how much she slayed me.

With a laugh, she nodded. “God, yes, you’re telling me. Literature is much more my speed. Now about next Thursday. My husband’s out of town again, and I want—”

When she reached for my arm, I snapped it out of her reach, saying, “No. Never again.”

She paused, not quite able to mask the initial rejection she felt before she laughed as if amused. “Oh, yes. Again,” she countered, growing deadly serious. “Whenever I want it, in fact. I’d say your little Reese’s grade depends on it.”

“Fuck you,” I growled, stepping closer. “I said never again, and I meant it. I will turn myself over to the authorities, the dean of the English department, and whoever else I have to, and expose us both before I let you mess with her grade. Do I make myself clear?”

Worry lined her eyes even as she tossed me a gloating smirk. “Cute bluff, darling. But I’m not buying it.”

I reached for her so suddenly she gasped and reared back. But all I grabbed was a piece of her hair. “Go ahead,” I challenged softly. “Call my bluff. You’re the one who has so far to fall. I’m just the worthless whore who doesn’t deserve anything, remember?” Shrugging, I stepped back. “What do I have to lose?”

She definitely wasn’t Patricia. Patricia would’ve swung back, hit me where it hurt most, threatened Sarah and my mom, probably even Reese again. But Monica wasn’t nearly as ballsy.

Visibly shaken, she took a step back and pointed toward the door, before growling, “Get out.”

I sneered out a dark smile. “Gladly.”

With my head held high, I walked from her office, only to curse under my breath once I was halfway down the hall. I think she bought my bluff, but now I had a whole new—worse—horror to face.

Patricia Garrison.

Learning a bit of my lesson with Monica, I knew I couldn’t just outright confront Patricia to settle this. She’d immediately assume Reese was important to me, and she’d sniff around the poor girl more ardently than ever.

I had to play this cool. Smart. Low-key.

Approaching Reese in public was probably what had gotten me into all this trouble in the first place. But I figured if I shied away from her now and kept my distance that would raise a bigger flag to Patricia, making her think I was trying to protect Reese. But if I continued to hang out with her as if I wasn’t worried about her safety, it would send Patricia the message that I didn’t care as much as Monica might’ve made her think I did.

At least, I hoped that was how it would play out. No matter what I did, it was a risk either way, one that made me break out in a cold sweat whenever I thought about it. I didn’t want Reese falling victim to anything Patricia-related.

But Patricia knew me; she knew the lengths I would go to for the people important to me. And whenever Monica told her what I’d done just now in that office, because of Reese, she would know my first instinct now would be to stay as far away from Reese as possible in an attempt to show that I wasn’t into her. Meaning, I had to do the exact opposite of my instincts.

It felt all kinds of wrong, but it also felt like the safest bet. Besides, if I stayed closer to her, maybe I could divert Patricia’s punches before she threw them.

So…

The next day at lunch between classes, I approached Reese again, my palms sweating the entire time, hoping this plan didn’t backfire like the last one had.

Eva Mercer sat next to her, which normally would’ve kept me away, but I had to make this look real—casual—and not like I wanted to flirt. A friendly encounter. Ergo, Mercer’s presence might actually help. Nothing about Mercer being around would put me in a flirty mood.

I blew out a long breath as I moved close enough to hear their conversation. They were talking about a party when I sat on the empty bench seat at the table across from them, surprising them both. When I stole one of Reese’s chili cheese fries, because that seemed like something a friend might do and because I just liked to tease her, she rewarded me by sassing back about my thievery.

Instant warmth filled my chest, and I realized the true reason why I was here.

I could tell myself all I liked that I only wanted to protect her and keep her out of a bad situation that I might’ve put her in, but the fact of the matter remained: I just wanted to be around her, to learn more about her, to simply be able to look at her up close and see the details of her smile, hear all the different inflections in her laugh, experience the warmth of her joy.

I was freaking hooked.

When Eva rudely tried to shoo me away, it didn’t take Reese long to realize her friend and I had some serious beef with each other.

“Okay, okay, okay,” she broke in, waving a hand to interrupt. “I’m sensing a disturbance in the Force between you two. Is there some kind of history here I’m not aware of?” Then she gasped. “Oh my God. You two have slept together, haven’t you?”

Impressed she could sense a personal difference between us so quickly, I shook my head even as I internally frowned over the very idea of me and Mercer ever hooking up. “Wow,” I told her. “Your curiosity has no filter whatsoever, does it?”

I guess I didn’t answer her question sufficiently enough because she scowled at me before turning to Eva. “E?”

“It’s nothing,” Eva muttered, growing engrossed in a planner she was flipping through.

Reese sighed and lifted her eyebrows expectantly at me.

“What?” I asked, pulling back, not liking her probing stare. It made me want to confess all my sins. Except none of them had anything to do with Eva Mercer. “She said it was nothing.”

To which Eva sniffed and slapped her planner shut. “Nothing?” she screeched incredulously before whirling to Reese. “Okay, fine. One night at a party about, oh, a year ago, I’d had a little too much to drink and I ended up throwing myself at him.” Her gaze pierced me with a hateful squint. “And he turned me down. Flat.”

Her glare seemed to say, how dare the worthless hooker think he was too good to be with me?

I narrowed my gaze right back, because to me, it had been a kind, chivalrous gesture, not something to hate me over. “And she proceeded to call me a pretentious bastard for it,” I told Reese.

“Well, you are,” Eva muttered.

“…who had no right to act so self-righteously because I’m nothing but a high-priced whore with a pretty face, who’ll end up an overweight, broke, balding no one by the time I’m forty.” I lifted my eyebrows Eva’s way. “Isn’t that how you worded it?”

With a gasp, Reese pressed her hand to her chest. “You called him a whore?”

I grinned, always pleased when she defended me.

Eva merely shrugged, unrepentant. “He is a whore.”

I flashed out my hand in a see-what-I-mean gesture for Reese. “So that’s what I get for trying to be a gentleman and not take advantage of the stumbling, slurring drunk girl.” I picked up the cup Reese had been drinking from and took a big sip through the straw, only to pull back and wince. “What is this?”

Reese wrinkled her nose at me. “It’s a diet cola.”

This girl. I swear. She could eat salad one day and chili cheese fries the next. Then she went from a calorie-loaded latte to a diet cola. She was the ultimate conundrum.

And every time I discovered more pieces of her puzzle, I realized I liked her even more than the day before.

Which was dangerous.

So, I made an exit not long after that, knowing I was tempting fate. It was one thing to hang around her in order to ensure Patricia wasn’t picking on her and try to make it look as if I didn’t care all the much about her while I got to learn more in the process. But it was another to flat-out fall for her. So yeah, I fled.

Only to find myself buying her a latte and sitting with her in the grass before classes the following Tuesday morning, where we talked about my sister’s upcoming birthday and the horrors of face acne, of all things.

On Wednesday, our topic of conversation veered toward the Dewey decimal system and how wonky it was, because another one of Reese’s part-time jobs was at the college’s library. That day, she had a bag of honey mustard and onion pretzel pieces, which I had to taste. They weren’t half bad, so I helped myself to the rest of the bag.

Thursday, we partook in a serious, in-depth debate over television shows. I maintained that The Walking Dead was ten times better than Breaking Bad, but I could never quite get her to agree. So, I made her share her orange with me for being so stubborn.

By Friday, she’d convinced me she ruled at math, plus she packed two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that day, already aware I would thieve food from her. After polishing our lunches off, we started our calculus homework together, and somewhere between question one and twelve, we began opening up on a more personal level.

It started by Reese accrediting her father for her math skills since he taught the subject, and before I knew it, she was asking me about my dad.

“I don’t remember much about him,” I admitted, shifting uneasily next to her on the bench seat. “I just know he was in the Army.”

She immediately set her hand over her heart, her mouth forming a worried O. “I’m so sorry. Was he killed in the Middle East?”

I sighed, not wanting to confess, but then I confessed anyway. “No. He never went to combat. He got tanked one night and killed a family of four, plus himself, in a drunk driving accident.”

“Oh my God. Mason.” She grasped my arm. “That sucks.”

I don’t think she even realized what she did; she let go of me before I could really enjoy the touch, so I drew in a bracing breath, forced the brief delight of flesh against flesh from my mind, and nodded.

“Yeah, pretty much. And in this small town of a community, everyone knows how he died, so I can’t even fabricate some hero’s death for him.”

She looked uncertain a moment before saying, “So… Can I ask about Sarah’s dad?”

I wasn’t sure how she knew my sister and I had different fathers, probably because Mom and Sarah had a different last name than me, but I didn’t particularly want to talk about him either.

“Butch Arnosta,” I admitted reluctantly. “That loser ran off after we learned about Sarah’s condition. Mom met him when I was seven. They had a quickie romance, she got knocked up, they got married, and then he was gone again as quickly as the doctor said the words ‘cerebral palsy.’ After that, I think Mom gave up on men completely. She never really dated again.”

And thank God for that. I already had enough to worry about from her. Having to wonder which lowlife she was hanging around next would’ve stressed me into an early grave for sure.

Reese nodded sympathetically. “Well, I don’t blame her any. Sounds like she has as bad a track record with men as I do.”

I shook my head. “How can you have a bad track record? You’re only, what, eighteen?”

She sniffed, lifting her chin. “Eighteen and a half.”

I laughed. “I beg your pardon, old woman.” Then I held out my hand to her. “Let me see your palm, Miss Eighteen and a Half. I’ll take a look at your love line and tell you just how bad your track record really is.”

And that’s when the whole palm reading bit had started, which had allowed me to experience a little more flesh-on-flesh action with her—innocent action, of course—but I was also able to discover a crook in one of her fingers, where she told me she’d broken it playing ball in high school.

I never would’ve guessed she’d been a basketball player, but she assured me she had been during her freshman through junior years but not her senior because I guess she’d broken her arm then. She paused in a strange way when she admitted that, but then she moved on again so quickly I forgot all about it moments later, mostly because we veered into old boyfriend territory next, which really caught my attention. When I learned she’d only had one past boyfriend, it struck me that she’d said she had a bad track record with guys.

At first, I was sure she was referring to me, because how could befriending a twenty-year-old gigolo be considered a good record?

But when I questioned her about him, her face paled and her eyes filled with wary unease. “Sometimes it’s more about the quality than the quantity that counts,” she murmured quietly enough to put me on instant alert.

“That bad, huh?” I asked, all the while pushing down the urge to gather her into my arms and just protect her from the entire world. She was becoming the bright spot of my day. I didn’t want anything clouding that. “What did he do?” I asked as nonchalantly as possible, needing to know why I already hated the bastard who’d hurt her. “Cheat on you?”

“Among other things,” she mumbled, looking away and trying to pull her hand from mine, because, for some reason, I’d never quite let her go after my faux palm reading.

And I couldn’t let her go now, either. Not until I learned everything. “What other things?”

She never got to answer, though. Three girls walking by interrupted with their noisy conversation.

“See, they are dating,” one said, staring right at us. “He’s holding her hand. I told you he couldn’t be a gigolo.”

Dammit.

What the hell was I doing?

I was supposed to make it look like we were strictly in the friend zone.

I jerked my hand from Reese’s and shifted backward on the bench to put some space between us.

Reese scowled at the passing girls. “We can hear you, you know.”

All three of them snapped their gazes our way and just as quickly looked away again. Then they scurried off, laughing among themselves.

Turning to me, Reese motioned vaguely after them. “Don’t listen to them. They’re…ignorant.”

“Doesn’t matter,” I said, slamming my calculus book shut and shoving it into my bag. I sent her a tight smile, hoping to God I hadn’t made things worse instead of better by sitting by her every day. “Have a good Labor Day weekend, okay?”

But really, I was telling her to have a good life, because I knew I’d been going too far. It was time to stop this little obsession I was growing. It was time to stay away permanently.

Confession #15: And sometimes, I actually did the right thing.

I was seriously a backward kind of guy. I swear. It seemed as if the nobler or grander my intentions were, the worse I fucked a situation up.

Two years ago, I’d agreed to sleep with my landlady one time in order to pay off all my mom’s back rent. And here, I’d ended up becoming a male escort because of it.

Then Reese had come along, and I’d known from the first moment I heard her laugh that she’d be better off if I kept my distance. So what had ended up happening there? Yep, I’d tangled myself up in her until I was talking to her every day, eating lunch with her, and even touching her.

But this time… This time, I swore I was going to stay away.

Yet even as I made that oh-so-noble promise to myself, another darker part of me laughed at my stupidity. I suspected I was far from over messing up her life. I wouldn’t intentionally get her hurt, of course, but that part of me that knew better recognized she was doomed, anyway.

My grand plans to disappear started okay, though.

I managed to avoid her that evening, leaving for work before she showed up to babysit Sarah.

A few hours later, I even succeeded in not thinking about her for about five minutes straight.

Progress.

When a black Acura with the windows tinted—which usually meant politician—pulled into the valet station, I was eager for something to do, so I hurried forward and opened the driver’s side door. Except a client of mine emerged, beginning that awkward moment of recognition.

Despite how it might appear, I really didn’t run across clients at the Country Club all that often. But yeah, it happened maybe once or twice—sometimes three times—a month, so I was also used to it.

He was not.

Or maybe I should say they were not, since my coworker opened the passenger door to help the second rider out...who was also a client. The couple was married to each other: the husband a senator and his wife from old money. They had paid me twice what anyone else ever had in order to keep my time with them discreet. I’d even signed a waiver for my silence. Both were actually nice people, but okay, if anyone learned about even a little of their bedroom kink, their political careers would probably perish…or maybe not, what with the way things worked these days. But I had a feeling they didn’t want to take that chance, so I was no doubt one of their biggest cover-ups.

I could practically taste the shock on the husband’s face when he looked up at the kid who’d helped him tie his wife up a couple months back and given her the birthday present she’d always wanted. He immediately paused, his face paling and his eyes widening.

“Good God. What’re you doing here?” He glanced across the top of his car toward his wife, who was looking down, checking something in her purse as she moved around toward us. Then he turned back to me, his eyes flashing with heat. “Did Farah set up a surprise for me?”

I glanced down to clear my throat, hoping he wouldn’t catch my expression in case any of my emotions leaked through, because it felt really weird for him to look at me the sensual way he was looking at me. “No, sir,” I said to the ground. “I actually work here.”

“O…oh.” He sounded distinctly disappointed. And confused. I caught sight of his shoes shifting as if he might be as suddenly uncomfortable as I was. I glanced up. He offered me a tense smile but politely asked, “How long have you worked here?”

When he glanced around as if worried about getting caught talking to me, I took a slight step back, feeling like a lower life form. “For about a year and a half now.”

“Hmm.” He didn’t seem to know what to do with that, so he just stood there, gaping badly. I handed him his valet ticket, which finally jolted him back to the present. He gave me his keys and looked blindly for his wife as she finished rounding the front of the car to join us.

“Honey,” he said as if trying to warn her but not getting any further than that.

“Well, don’t forget to tip the boy, Stuart,” she scolded, finally glancing up and rolling her eyes with a teasing grin. “You act as if you’ve never dealt with valet service before.” Transferring her smile my way, she gushed, “Sorry. He usually—oh!” Jerking to a halt, she blinked. “Oh my God.”

A moment later, her eyes lit up and she glanced at her husband, looking hopeful. “Did you set this up?”

He grimaced. “Actually, no. He… He says he works here. As the valet.”

She skimmed her gaze over my uniform. “Oh.” Her expression heated as it traveled down my chest, but then her husband elbowed her, which made her clear her throat and check the area, blushing.

And even though they were super nice people, and I knew they meant no offense, they managed to make me feel shittier than any of my cold, selfish, and calculating clients ever had, because as soon as they realized I wasn’t there to please them, they grew worried about being seen with me.

I was just the dirty in their little secret.

Since one of my coworkers, Mac, was watching the entire encounter, I offered the couple a small wave and tight smile and brushed past them to slide into the opened door of their car. “Have a good evening.”

When I glanced back into the rearview mirror at them, they were staring after me as if they feared I was going to steal their ride or something. Maybe they thought that’s what prostitutes did. I don’t know. But I felt shitty for the rest of my shift, especially after the husband approached me when they returned from the casino with their valet ticket.

Mac actually accepted the ticket from them and took off to fetch their car. I hadn’t even noticed them because I’d been writing in stats we were supposed to turn in when I heard a voice say, “Here.”

I glanced up, and there he was, in front of me, holding out a folded bill. I frowned at him, confused, then peered past his shoulder to his wife who was waiting at the curb for their car but was watching us hopefully.

“I forgot to give this to you earlier.” He nudged the money closer.

“It’s fine,” I started, but he wouldn’t let up, so I just took the tip so he’d leave already. But as soon as it was in my hand, I realized a note was folded inside.

The husband stared at me meaningfully, so I unfolded it, only to read what looked like a hotel room number.

“We’re staying at the Hilton on Thirty-fourth for a conference this weekend,” he explained, his gaze traveling down my body before he met my eyes again. “If you want to stop by after you get off work tonight…”

When he trailed off with a telling question in his voice, I took a moment to breathe before I shook my head and blurted, “I’m sorry, I’m booked tonight.”

I was not booked.

Holy shit. What was I doing? Going to their hotel room after work would bring in good money, and this couple was probably easier to work with than anyone else who employed my services. They were straightforward, no games, no contention. It would’ve been a dream gig for a guy like me.

Stuart narrowed his eyes slightly, obviously not expecting a rejection. But then he smiled his politician’s smile and nodded. “No worries. We’ll be here until Tuesday morning if you have an opening before then.”

“I don’t,” I said, shocking myself even more as I repeated, “I’m booked. Indefinitely.”

Seriously, what the hell was I doing? Had I just retired? Again?

I’d tried this once last year, but then Sarah had ended up in the hospital with pneumonia, Mom got into a fender bender that required thousands of dollars’ worth of repairs on her car, and one of my clients grew so desperate for an appointment she offered to pay me twice her usual. So I was sucked back in.

I almost expected the man before me to start negotiating and raising his offer too, but all he said was, “I see.” He looked confused for a moment, not sure what to do or how to react to my refusal to join him and his wife for another threesome. He honestly hadn’t thought I’d turn him down, I guess. He started to swivel away, only to pause and grab my arm.

“Don’t forget,” he murmured discreetly, stepping closer as Mac pulled the couple’s car up to the curb. “Just because you left the business doesn’t mean the NDA you signed has become void. What happened between the three of us remains confidential. Forever.”

I looked down at his hand. The last time I’d looked at his fingers, he’d been jacking off to the view of me screwing his wife from behind. I tore my gaze from his grip and looked into his eyes. “I know.”

His smile was tense and forced, but he nodded at me politely. “Good. Well. Good luck with...with whatever path you take next.” He brushed past me, skimming his hand along my arm as if he couldn’t leave without one last caress, and he hurried to meet his wife, who was waiting eagerly and expectantly at the car.

After he thrust more money distractedly at Mac, he took his wife’s shoulders and said something in her ear.

I don’t think she took the news well.

“Indefinitely?” she cried, glancing at me over his shoulder. “What the hell does that mean?”

She tried to approach me, determination clear in her eyes, but her husband grabbed her arm and manually tugged her around to the passenger side, opening her door for her and depositing her inside. His gaze turned my way as he shut the door. The longing I saw made me turn away.

“What was that about?” Mac asked as they drove off.

I let my gaze wander after the departing Acura and shrugged. “They wanted me to chauffeur them around town this weekend, I think.”

Mac snorted out a derisive laugh and shook his head. “Rich people are so weird.”

I nodded, even though I kind of wanted to say everyone was weird. But a group exited the restaurant then, wanting to pick up their vehicles, so both Mac and I were pulled back into work.

When I returned home an hour later, Reese’s car was still parked out front. My heart started to thump hard in my chest.

Dammit, Mom. Why weren’t you home yet? I was supposed to avoid this girl for her own good. I was nothing but bad for her. The only thing I excelled at was being people’s dirty little secret.

I eased in the back door, hoping maybe she was asleep in the front room and I could slip into my bedroom without her realizing I was there. But as soon as I shut the door behind me, her laugh drifted down the hall, followed by Sarah’s.

God. My two favorite sounds in the world.

Unable to help myself, I followed the laughter until I stopped just outside Sarah’s room, where I pressed my hand to the wall next to the open door and bowed my head, simply listening. Reese was reading Harry Potter. My lips twitched up into a smile as she put an inflection in her voice, trying to capture the mood of the scene.

“‘…Things I want to know the truth about,’” she read, only to change her voice for a new character. “‘The truth.’ Dumbledore sighed. ‘It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should, therefore, be treated with great caution.’”

They’d nearly reached the end of the story, I realized. I’d been reading it to Sarah on the nights when Reese didn’t babysit and I didn’t have to work. And last night, I’d read ahead and finished the entire book after Sarah had fallen asleep on me. But the white queen had just knocked Ron out flat during the live chess match. I wasn’t sure how the heck Sarah had been able to fall asleep during a tense moment like that; I’d been hooked and ended up reaching the end less than an hour later.

“What does that mean?” Sarah interrupted Reese’s reading to ask.

Reese paused. “What? That the truth is both beautiful and terrible and should be treated with caution?”

Curious how she would answer, I cocked my head to the side to hear her response.

“Well,” she started, pausing only to let out a long, thoughtful sigh. “I guess the truth is beautiful because it’s pure and undiluted. There’s no lie or deception in it. It’s full of enlightenment, telling you everything you didn’t know before. And knowledge is pretty spectacular, right?”

When she paused, I had to guess she was waiting to receive a sign of understanding from my sister. Then she went on.

“But… The truth doesn’t sugarcoat anything. It won’t only show you the good stuff. Truth is everything, good and bad. And sometimes learning those bad parts can shake you…right down to your core. It can leave you forever changed, not always in a good way. So instead of springing the whole truth on a person all at once—bad parts and all—you’ll sometimes either conceal it, waiting until you think they can handle it, or you reveal it in a gentle way that doesn’t hurt them. Does that make sense?”

Hell, yes. It made more sense than I wanted it to. There’s no way I could ever tell her anything like my appointment I’d had months ago with the couple I’d run into tonight. There was no way she’d ever be able to handle an undiluted truth like that. She’d never look at me the same again.

But it also made me realize Reese was honestly the only person I’d ever given even some of my truths to. I’d never actually talked about my secret occupation with anyone before her. My clients knew, of course. But I’d never opened up with any of them and actually discussed my side of the job or mentioned why I did what I did.

Suddenly the line in that kid’s book meant even more to me. You couldn’t trust just anyone with your truth. They would see all of you, the good and the bad. It was scary as shit to show someone important to you all your flaws. What if seeing your imperfections scared them off? Or what if they stuck around, only to use your confessions as a weapon against you. They could slaughter you with your own truth.

Patricia had done that to me. She’d found out what was most important to me, she’d found out my weaknesses, and she had attacked repeatedly until I felt like the stunted shell I was now.

So yeah, you definitely had to be careful with who you trusted.

But for some reason, I had trusted Reese with bits of my truth. After surviving Patricia’s numerous manipulations, why the hell had I risked that? How had I known Reese wouldn’t abuse my confidence? What the hell had I been thinking? I could’ve repulsed her and chased her off. She could’ve turned on me and exposed me to the world. She could’ve pointed and called me the sick, repulsive bastard I felt like I was. She could’ve slaughtered me.

Except she’d done none of that. She’d taken it all in, absorbed it, and still accepted me for a mess of a soul that I was.

“That’s deep,” Sarah said from inside her room.

Reese laughed with that laugh I loved, jarring me back to the present where she now inhabited my world and made me feel more alive than I had in years. It might be dangerous for her to associate with me, but hell, I couldn’t regret meeting her or spending the time with her that I’d gotten.

“Oh, my precious Sarah,” she sighed in delight, “I cannot wait until you finish the entire series. Dumbledore is chock-full of one-liners that are so deep you could spend years just thinking about each one and all the different meanings they have. One of my favorites is from the third book. He said, ‘Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.’ Whenever I’m feeling down, I just remember that line, and I think of something bright and happy that lightens the pain until it doesn’t hurt quite so much anymore. You see, the light is inside you, not anywhere else. No one else can really make you happy but you. You just have to remember to turn on that place inside you that makes you glow and you’ll make it through any hard time that comes at you.”

Damn. I might love this girl.

Because the light inside her had to be so fucking bright it had helped me see through my darkness too. This past week, I hadn’t felt as miserable and downtrodden as I usually did. I had just been…happy. Because of her.

Soaking in her words, the sound of her voice, the very essence of her spirit that floated into the hall and cloaked me like a warm blanket, I sank to the floor and sat with my back to the wall. Then I rested my forearms on my bent knees and tipped my head up toward the ceiling so I could close my eyes and just listen to her.

“But…” she told Sarah, “if we sit here and keep thinking about all the beautiful hidden meanings in Harry Potter, we’d probably end up like someone in front of the Mirror of Erised and waste away, entranced by the wisdom of Dumbledore, so… Let’s get this story read, shall we?”

Her voice changed as she started in again, quoting the text. I listened for a few minutes before slipping away, silently escaping into my room so neither of them would realize I was home. I didn’t want to interrupt their special time together and, besides, I still felt kind of raw after what Reese had done to me with her few simple words to my sister.

Actually, I was pretty sure I would never be the same again.

Because if my light was inside me, and Reese knew how to trigger it into turning on, then she must be pretty damn integral to me. I wasn’t sure what the fuck to do about that.

Confession #16: But I usually followed a smart decision

with a really stupid one.

The next day, I had to work an afternoon shift at the Country Club. Since it was Labor Day weekend, the place was pretty dead. Waterford sat less than an hour from the ocean, meaning that’s where most people went on holidays or long weekends, which was fine by me. I didn’t mind the break.

The only people who showed up at the Country Club were some regular locals who pretty much came every Saturday for the seafood lunch special or a game of golf. Oh, and Alec Worthington pulled his Maserati up just before I finished my shift. When I noticed a brunette was sitting in the passenger seat—not a blonde like his girlfriend, Eva, was—my gut knotted with instant tension.

If Worthington had moved from blonde Eva to brunette Reese, I’d… Hell, I wasn’t sure what I’d do, but it’d probably be ugly. I hadn’t been busting my balls to keep her from being hurt by Patricia only for her to go off and get mixed up with an ass like Alec.

Before I thought it through, I’d bypassed the driver’s door so I could pop around to the passenger’s side and open it, holding my breath as I looked down at who was inside.

And I immediately felt like an idiot. But seriously, what had I been thinking? Reese was way too smart to fall for such an obvious player like Worthington.

When a complete stranger blinked up at me, looking slightly startled by how quickly I’d opened the door for her, I felt even more foolish. Offering her a nod and tight smile, I held the door open until she slid from the car, sending me an interested once-over before she sashayed around to meet Alec.

Patting her on the ass, he sent her inside ahead of him and smirked at me as he waited for me to close the door and make my way back to him so we could exchange keys and valet tickets. When he handed me a tip, he kept hold of it a second longer so I’d look up at him.

“A little extra there,” he said discreetly as he glanced down at the cash he hadn’t quite let me take yet, “so you won’t mention to Eva who I came here with today.”

Ah, so he was still dating Mercer, then. I held in a grimace. Cheaters always turned my stomach sour, and I never got why they openly flaunted their side pieces in public places where they brought their main girlfriends. Or was Eva supposed to be the secret side piece in this situation? I had no idea and I really didn’t care. Either way, it made Worthington a scumbag in my book.

“Of course,” I lied, although it wasn’t like Mercer and I really talked, so I doubted I’d have the occasion to tell her the truth, anyway.

Worthington finally let me have the tip. He smiled, nodding his approval. “Oh, and feel free to stop by her party tonight at her place.” He handed me a flyer with all the details on it. “Her parents are out of town, so we’ll have the works. It’ll be fun.”

“Yeah? Thanks,” I said, taking the sheet, with no plans whatsoever to socialize with this creep or his pretentious girlfriend.

But then the more I thought about it, the more I wondered if Reese would be there. She and Mercer were friends, so it made sense that she might. And the more I thought about her showing up to Eva’s party, the more I worried.

The place would be packed with Worthingtons. Not like literal members of the Worthington family, but carbon copies of Alec. All rich, self-inflated pricks with pretty faces and fake smiles who’d only cheat on her like it was his God-given right to do so the moment she started dating one of them. My gut churned. I had a feeling she probably wouldn’t go for one of those douches, but they’d definitely go for her. She’d have all kinds of wealthy assholes sniffing around her all night long.

By the time my shift at the Country Club was over, I’d convinced myself I had to go to that party. I swore it had nothing to do with the fact that I ached to see Reese again; I had to go because she needed a…hmm, not a savior—as I’m sure she could take care of herself—but maybe a companion to run interference and help stave off the flood of jerks who’d want to approach with the sole purpose of getting into her pants.

So, I’d be like the opposite of a wingman. I’d be a…a cockblocker. Yes, and she’d thank me for showing up. Civil service Mason to the rescue.

But even as I showered and dressed for the party after I got off work, I knew I couldn’t just show up. I totally wouldn’t fit in. Not only was this not my crowd, but I typically didn’t attend any party. I was usually working or watching Sarah. My social life in the past few years did not involve partying. I’d stick out like a sore thumb. So I grabbed Reese’s Harry Potter book as I headed out the door, since Sarah told me she’d finished it herself that afternoon while I’d been at work. It only seemed right to return it to Reese now.

And that had to be the lamest reason to attend a party in all the reasons to do anything. It ranked up there with women telling men they had to wash their hair as an excuse why they couldn’t go on a date. But I’d already come this far; I wasn’t backing out now. I had to see Reese.

The place was already packed by the time I arrived; I had to park two blocks away. My heart kicked into overdrive. What if I was too late? What if some guy had hit on her, and she actually liked him, and I walked in the door to find her making out with him in some dark, intimate corner?

I nearly restarted my Jeep and kept driving.

But a small group of guys passing in front of my ride glanced curiously through the front windshield at me, and they all looked like total assholes who would hit on Reese relentlessly, so I took a deep breath and exited the vehicle.

My gaze went straight to the corner of the room as soon as I crossed the threshold of the Mercer house. No one was making out there, so my heart rate settled a smidgeon, only to lurch again when I noticed that everyone was staring and leaning in to talk in hushed tones, probably about me. Even Alec Worthington seemed shocked that I’d just walked through the doorway. He said something to his pals as he watched me, making them laugh.

Great. I was the laughing stock. Always nice to be.

I didn’t spot Reese or even Eva so I dodged toward the first entrance I saw that led me into another room. When the same thing happened there, I just kept wandering, trying to act as if I knew what I was doing and where I was going. My hopes fell every time I didn’t find Reese anywhere. What if she hadn’t even come, and I’d attended this stupid, rich-kid party for nothing?

That’s it. As soon as I found an exit, I was out of here.

Entering a quieter back hall, I breathed a sigh of relief, glad to be free of all the gawkers and whisperers. I’d just spotted a door that looked as if it led outside when I heard her voice.

“Why is he at one of your parties then?” Reese was asking as I turned to see her huddling near the other end of the corridor with Eva.

I was so glad to see her I could’ve hugged her.

But instead of hurrying forward, I slowed to a stop and lifted my eyebrows with interest. She wore a dark blue romper thing, with her waist cinched with a wide sparkly silver belt and the shorts on the bottom part extra short, making her legs look incredibly long and incredibly tan. My mouth went dry, and my heart thudded hard against the inside of my chest. Damn, she looked good.

As I approached from behind, Eva answered, “Because anyone who’s anyone comes to my parties. They are the bomb, baby.”

“Unfortunately, she’s right,” I said by way of announcing my presence. “Mercer does know how to throw a hell of a party.”

This might’ve been the first one I’d actually attended, but I’d heard the rumors after working at the Country Club. And from the sound of it, they were pretty wild.

Both ladies jumped before looking up at me, and then I was the one who got the surprise when I saw they each bore nose rings. Neither of them had worn nose rings the last time I’d seen them.

It was dangerous how sexy and sassy Reese looked with one.

“Mason,” Eva hissed, her eyes narrowing. “What a surprise. I rarely see you at these. And I don’t recall inviting you to this one, either.”

“No,” I agreed, smirking at her cheekily. “But your boyfriend did.”

“Hmm,” Eva muttered bitterly, “I’ll be having a few words with him about that. Trust me.”

“Okay, hold up,” Reese broke in, lifting a hand. “I don’t get this. Mason didn’t take advantage of you when you were drunk, and you don’t want him here. Yet that Ty guy I just met cheated on you twice, and you hugged him in welcome. That makes no sense.”

Seemingly confused by the question, Mercer shook her head slightly. “ReeRee,” she said in a placating tone, “Ty is the son of a judge. This…person…”—she motioned to me with a disregarding sniff—“is nothing but a holier-than-thou male prostitute.”

The insult hit home hard, so I chased it with a sneer. “A prostitute who turned you down,” I mocked. “Pride stung much?”

She glared at me. “You are such a smug—”

“Bastard,” I finished for her, my voice pleasant. “Yeah, I remember.”

“You don’t belong here.” She balled her hands into fists, damn near vibrating with fury. “How dare you crash my party? You’re a nobody from nowhere who—”

“Hey!” Reese stepped in front of me and faced off with her friend. “Back off. You invited everyone and their dog tonight. Stop being such a stuck-up snob. I want Mason to stay. He’s fun to talk to.”

My little defender.

This was one of the reasons why I always wanted to be around her, even though I knew I’d never be good enough for someone as pure, and sweet, and innocent as her.

Eva scrutinized her a moment. The two girls were such opposites with their personalities, it made me wonder why they were even friends. Taking hold of Reese’s arm, Eva leaned in and said, “Remember what I told you, ReeRee,” even as her gaze rose to me, “don’t do it.”

The challenge in her gaze told me that line was definitely in reference to me. I watched her as she pulled back and turned away, strolling down the hall in order to leave me alone with Reese.

“Don’t do what?” I had to ask.

Reese whirled to me, her eyes wide with guilt. Then she cleared her throat quietly and mellowed her expression before saying, “I think she’s worried I’ll follow in her footsteps and try to throw myself at you like she did.” She added a shrug as if it were no big deal, which made me think there was a lot more to the story than that.

Instead of letting her see how appealing the idea of her throwing herself at me sounded, I teased her, trying to convince her that she was a lot like Eva so she just might do what her friend suggested. But my teasing appalled her.

When I tapped her nose and mentioned the ring there and how I knew the two of them must’ve gotten them together, she covered the diamond stud with her hand and frowned at me. “Okay, fine. But I don’t follow her over the cliff every time.”

“No,” I finally had to agree. “But I’m glad you did this time. That ring makes you look incredibly hot.”

Which was true. She’d always been girl-next-door cute, but this put a sexier edge on her. One that made my blood quicken.

Except, holy shit, why had I admitted that out loud? Why did I always reveal more than I knew I should around this girl?

I had teasingly flirted with her before, but nothing quite as overt as this.

Holding my breath for Reese’s reaction, I watched her cheeks flush before she cleared her throat and glanced away, but then a pleased grin lit her face, and I knew she liked what I’d said.

Things inside me grew warm. Anticipatory tension tightened my muscles.

Blowing out a breath, I quietly admitted, “I knew you’d be here tonight.”

Reese jerked her face up. “You… You’re here because of me?”

She looked so delighted that I had to check myself to keep from reaching for her. Blowing out a bracing breath, I held in the things I really wanted to say.

Like:

Of course, you’re the reason I’m here. I like you.

I can’t take on clients anymore because I like you so much.

I want to be with you.

But I can’t be with you because I’ve already put you in more danger than I can even tell you you’re probably in.

With that mental splash of cold water on my face, I suddenly waved the book I’d forgotten I was holding.

“Here,” I mumbled. “I wanted to return this.”

She looked down at the Harry Potter book before slowly taking it back. She seemed somewhat disappointed and a bit confused before her eyes widened. “You mean, you finished it? Already?”

I nodded, suddenly feeling like a nerd. “Sarah… She kept pestering me and wanted us to read as much as we could together. I think I missed a couple of homework assignments because we had to read it every free chance I had.” I breathed in a deep breath, lifting my shoulders. “So… What’s the name of the second one? The Secret Chamber, or something like that?”

She stuttered a moment before saying, “It’s The Chamber of Secrets.” Then she squinted suspiciously. “Did you really, really finish this already?”

“Yes!” I lifted my hands and let out a harassed yet amused laugh. “Do you want to quiz me about it or do you want to give me the next book already?”

Her mouth popped open. “You want to read the next one?” Then, she brightened, straightening her back with a smug kind of glee. “You liked it, didn’t you?”

I shook my head, trying to deny it. “Sarah wants to know what happens next.”

“But you do too,” she insisted, stepping closer and making my breath catch when that familiar scent of hers wafted up. “Admit it. You liked it.”

I held myself stiff, afraid to like how close she’d gotten. “Don’t even think about saying I told you so.”

“Ha!” she cried, spiking up her hands in victory. “I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I so told you so.”

God, she was cute like this. Torn between rolling my eyes and laughing, I muttered, “I see you’re one of those gracious, humble types of winners.”

“This is so awesome,” she crowed. “I created a Harry Potter fan. You know, if this keeps up, J.K. is going to have to give me a cut of her royalties. Don’t you think?”

“I think you’re pushing it, Randall.” God, I wanted to kiss her when she was happy and vivacious and acting like a total goofball.

Not Patricia, or Monica, or anyone from their class would be caught dead acting so ridiculous and silly just for the fun of it. And that right there was one of the biggest reasons why I couldn’t get enough of Reese.

She wasn’t them.

She was so not them, in fact, that I was beginning to fear I needed her in my life if I ever truly wanted to recover from them.

Completely oblivious to the terrifying revelation I was having, Reese rolled her eyes. “Whatever. This is still awesome. I can go get you book two right now, if you really want it.”

I blinked, confused. “You carry Harry Potter books around with you to college keggers?”

With a snicker, she held up the book I’d just handed her. “What? You do too.”

Okay, she got me there. I laughed. “Wow, you really are aiming to be the top recruiter of the year.”

“You know it.” With a quirky grin, she used the corner of the book she was holding and tapped my chin dimple with it. “But seriously, my apartment is right above the garage, which is, like, twenty feet away from that back door there, so I can get it for you in two minutes tops.”

Wait. What?

I glanced at the door as that little piece of information knocked me for a loop. It was one thing for her to associate with Eva Mercer, talk to her before classes, eat lunch with her, and attend one of her parties. But living above her garage…?

I’d been so sure she wasn’t like Eva at all but now I was thrown. How could they be this close and some of Mercer’s pretentious, egotistical personality not rub off onto Reese, even a little? My worry grew as I turned back to her. I’d really come to like Reese; there’d been moments when the emotion had even felt stronger than “like.” I didn’t want to learn she was different than the girl I’d eaten lunch with, that she might be a lot more like them than I had realized.

“You’re staying above the Mercers’ garage?” I asked slowly.

“Yep,” she answered cheerfully, only to pause and roll her eyes. “And I know what you’re thinking, but trust me, the place is super cool. It’s honestly like a mini apartment up there with a kitchenette, bedroom, bathroom, and living room. And the privacy is awesome. Eva is so jealous. She had no idea what kind of gem was on her property until I moved into it. I swear, she’d probably kick me out and move in herself if her closet wasn’t twice the size of my entire bedroom.”

“Hmm,” I said, not really listening to her rambling explanation. “Wow. I could tell you and Eva were close, but I had no idea her parents would let you move in.”

“Oh!” Her eyes flared with surprise before she grinned and nudged my arm. “I’m sorry, I guess you didn’t realize—Eva’s my cousin. Her mom, Aunt Mads, is my mom’s little sister.”

Oh.

Wow.

Well, hell. That changed everything, reassuring me about her personality again. Their blood ties, and not the fact that they actually liked each other because they were alike, could be the reason they hung out so much. She could still be just the way she’d come across to me this past week, after all.

But on that same note, their blood ties could make her more blindly loyal to Eva, and if not blindly loyal, maybe just reluctantly loyal.

At the end of the day, she would no doubt side with Mercer over me.

Not sure why she’d ever need to pick a side between us, but the mere idea concerned me.

“Yeah,” I drew out slowly, “I didn’t know that.”

“Okay, seriously,” she said, staring me straight in the eye. “Is there more to this thing between you and E than you two are letting on?”

“No.” I shook my head. “No, I just…no. Not at all. I was only worried the contention between her and me would bother you. I mean, you’re not going to stop talking to me now in loyalty to your cousin, are you?”

She arched a single eyebrow as if my concern was ridiculous. “If I haven’t stopped by now because of her, then I’m probably not going to stop later on either because of her.”

My shoulders relaxed. “Okay, good. It’s just… I know she doesn’t consider me to be from her class. It’d be a shame if you jumped over that cliff with her.”

Reese merely sighed as if tired of this line of conversation. “I may love my cousin to pieces and go all fashion crazy with her on occasion but trust me, I do know how to be my own person. If I ever become as condescending as Eva Mercer, please shoot me, okay?”

I wouldn’t shoot her; I’d probably just give up on life completely if she became like them. But I nodded. “Okay.”

She sent me an exaggerated goofy grin, probably to get me to smile, which worked. “Great. Now that we have that settled, wait right here. I’ll be back in a jiffy with your next book.”

Confession #17: I had a bad habit of setting myself up for temptation.

When Reese left through the back door, I followed. I didn’t want to be anywhere else but with her, and besides, a trio of girls who’d gathered at the other end of the hall were eyeing me as they sipped their drinks, and from the expressions on their faces, they thought they owned me. Made me think they were little Patricias in training.

So I fled from them and stuck with Reese.

She looked at me lustfully sometimes, too, but I liked the way she watched me, like I was something awe-inspiring and important, not like something she wanted to train and bend to her will. The way her eyes heated made me feel special. Essential.

When she glanced back at me now, however, her gaze seemed wary and instantly on guard.

“Or…you could just, you know, come with me,” she said slowly, making it clear that my following her made her uncomfortable.

I didn’t want to make her uneasy. That was the very last thing on my agenda. But I also refused to be left alone at this party.

So I made a joke of it. “Hey, you’re not leaving me in there by myself with fifty other Eva Mercers lurking about. I might be molested before you returned.”

“Oh my God,” she groaned, rolling me a dry look over her shoulder. “Drama much?”

I shrugged, letting her decide for herself how accurate I was being.

She sniffed and started up a darkened staircase. “Well, just don’t expect me to jump in front of you like some kind of human shield if any frisky females come flying out of the shadows to ambush you for a freebie.”

With a laugh, I followed her up. “I’ll be sure to toss you in front of me against your will, then.”

“Ha, real funny, smart-ass.” At the landing, we stopped, and I listened to her in front of me, her keys jingling.

I frowned, wondering if she did this every night she babysat: stood out here in the pitch-dark night, fumbling with keys.

I was about to ask if there was a light around when she said, “Here we go,” and unlocked the door.

Suddenly realizing I was following her alone, inside the place where she lived, my libido sprang to life. As I stepped into the front room behind her, all I could think about was all the places I could take her in here.

I pictured myself shoving that textbook she had lying open on the coffee table aside so she could sit there, facing me, as I unzipped my jeans. Or I could clearly see us curled up in the blanket that lay wadded on the couch, both of us naked underneath. Or I could heft her up onto the kitchen cabinets among the dirty dishes and step between her spread thighs so I could give her a long, drawn-out kiss as I pushed inside her.

Before I knew it, I was actually walking around the apartment, fantasy after fantasy springing to life inside me. The place was small, quaint, and perfect. Like a love nest.

Nodding, I glanced at her. “Yeah,” I said, “I have to say, you were right. This is pretty awesome. I could live here with no problem.” When I caught sight of an apple sitting in a fruit basket on the table, I grinned. Since me taking her food was our thing, I snagged it and buffed it against the shoulder of my shirt.

Reese sighed and shook her head. “You just couldn’t resist, could you?”

I met her gaze as I took that first slow bite. “What? Resist your forbidden fruit? Hell no.” Then I winked and chewed. “What do you think of them apples?”

She snorted. “I think your pun is corny and pathetic.”

Except she really didn’t at all, and we both knew it.

I laughed and kept eating, trying to temper the desire that was roaring through me. “So, where’s this book?”

“In my room.”

Of course, it was.

She hurried through a side doorway, and because I was a glutton for punishment, I wandered to the entrance.

I knew I shouldn’t go in. I was already knocking at temptation’s door; I was being a complete idiot for even coming here tonight. But hell, I’d already gone this far, and I ached to see her room, the bed she slept on each night, the sheets that touched her skin when she dreamed.

The need was more addictive than I could resist.

I stepped inside.

The space was snug, real snug, which was probably why it smelled so strongly of her. Her scent was literally trapped in this place. Not much more than a small bed, dresser, and miniature bookshelf adorned it. We’d have to get close in here. We’d have to stay close.

I went rock-solid hard.

No one knew I was here. Not Monica, not Patricia. No one would make a case of it. No one would know anything we did.

Watching Reese’s lines bloom into delicious curves as she bent down to fetch the second Harry Potter book for me, I played with the idea in my head.

Just one night. What could it hurt? One night to live out my ultimate fantasy of being with Reese.

It would be wrong. So fucking wrong.

But it’d be worth it to finally taste her. To take her.

She straightened and turned back to me, not expecting me to be there.

“Oh!” she gasped, skidding to a halt before bumping into me. “There you are.”

She looked scared and intimidated, but also about as turned on as I felt.

“Do you… I mean…” Her hands began to shake around the book she clutched. Her timid gaze lifted to me. In them, I saw question, hesitation, but also yearning. “You can take the entire series now if you’d like. That way you won’t have to wait between each book until I can get the next one to you.”

“I don’t mind waiting,” I said, staring straight into her eyes. “In fact, I like building up the anticipation.”

She caught her breath and shuddered. When her gaze moved to my mouth, my cock pulsed greedily.

I studied her, debating my next move.

Could I really do this? Throw caution to the wind and have her? Right here? Right now?

Oh, hell, yes. Of course, I could. But should I?

Absolutely not.

So… Would I?

God, I didn’t know. I guess it would be up to her. If she gave me the slightest signal to proceed, I’d crumble like a stack of cards and be on her so fast both our heads would spin. But what would she do if I pressed the situation?

I shouldn’t find out. I really, really shouldn’t. I was the kind of person that should go nowhere near a sweet, innocent girl like Reese Randall.

Feeling like the dirty, predatory wolf I knew I was, I turned away, trying to cool myself down, and in doing so, I focused on all the lotion bottles and other cosmetics she kept scattered on her dresser top.

Idly, I opened one and sniffed, mostly for something to do to distract myself from how much I wanted her, but as soon as I did, I almost groaned and my eyes nearly crossed from the pleasure, because damn… The origin of Reese’s scent was sitting in my hand.

“You wore this Friday,” I said, glancing at her… And Thursday, and Wednesday, and Tuesday, as well as right now.

She nodded silently, just watching me.

I read the label. “Sweet pea.” An affectionate grin lit my face. “So fitting.”

As if watching me hold her lotion was more than she could take, she slipped the container from my hand and returned it to its place. “I was thinking of getting a bottle for Sarah. Do you think she’d like this fragrance?”

“Don’t you dare,” I said before I could check myself. When she frowned slightly, I explained, “This is your scent. It would be too weird to smell on my little sister.” Especially since it gave me a hard-on every time I got a whiff of it. Smelling it meant Reese was near.

“I guess I could get her some cucumber melon then. Or warm vanil—”

When she began to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear, I caught her hand, startling her quiet. “If your hair getting in your face bothers you that much, why don’t you ever tie it back?”

She blinked at me repeatedly before shaking her head slightly. “You know I never tie my hair back?”

I shifted closer. I don’t know why I was doing this. It was wrong to mess around with her—it could only hurt her—but I couldn’t seem to stop. “I know you’re always pushing it out of your eyes,” I said.

Her gaze glazed and lips parted. A part of me knew exactly what was happening to her under those clothes she wore. Her nipples were puckering tight, aching to be sucked as moisture gathered at the seam of her sex, readying her body for me.

“I don’t know,” she said with a loose shrug even as color heightened the tops of her cheeks and her breathing shuddered unsteadily. “Don’t… Don’t you guys prefer long, flowing hair?”

I caught a strand of her dark locks and ran it through my fingers. “I can’t speak for other guys but, yeah, I guess I do like it long and flowing.” Because that’s how she had her hair. Finally focusing on what we were actually talking about, I sent her a disappointed glance. “So this is just to attract a guy then?” I didn’t like thinking of her as man-hunting. “Anyone specific?”

She cleared her throat and looked down. “No. Not necessarily. I just… I personally think I look best this way.”

Relieved by that answer, I lifted another piece of hair on the other side of her cheek until I was nearly cupping her face. She slowly lifted her gaze.

“Does this mean you’ll have caught your guy whenever you show up on campus someday with your hair in a ponytail?”

She blinked, probably not prepared for me to keep on with this conversation…when I could so easily just lean in and kiss her. “Well, then I’ll have to keep his attention, so probably not.”

I combed my finger through the dark strands until I’d gathered it all into a ponytail with my hand. “I don’t think you ever have to worry about what your hair looks like in order to attract a guy.” She could be bald or have a frizzed-out mess, and I was sure I’d still want her right now, more than I ever wanted anyone. “You have too many other intriguing attributes to keep them interested.”

My thumb barely grazed the front of her throat.

Realization flooded her eyes. “Mason,” she damn near whispered, her body going taut and still. “What’re you doing?”

I moved in closer, pressing my forehead to hers. “Something I probably shouldn’t.”

But if she gave me the go-ahead, I’d keep doing it no matter how wrong it was. Because God, I wanted this. I wanted it so fucking much.

Her breath trembled from parted lips and her eyes went leery and tempted even as she said, “If… If you shouldn’t, then…don’t.”

Dammit.

I might have whimpered. But God, the rejection…

It hurt.

“Easier said than done,” I answered on a shaky voice, even as I combed my fingers through her hair again, one last time. But she didn’t stop me. In fact, she reached up and gripped my arm as if to keep me there, so my final caress lingered and just...kept going. I cupped the back of her neck and tipped her face up.

Nothing else mattered but learning what that mouth tasted like.

She leaned in as if to receive me. I whispered her name, my body igniting with the knowledge that I was actually with the girl whose name I said this time, the girl I wanted to be with.

How the hell was I lucky enough to be allowed here in this moment with her?

But then, it was all just stolen time, wasn’t it, because Reese seemed to come to her senses as she lowered her gaze and said, “I think… I think it’d be best if you stopped.”

Right.

Fuck. She’d already told me no. Why the hell hadn’t I stopped yet?

“Okay,” I said, except I wasn’t moving back. Shit. She needed to push me away or something, because I literally could not move back. My mouth was inches from hers, my forehead remained pressed against hers, and I swear our hearts were thumping in the same exact rhythm.

I eased my lips closer and shifted my hand along the back of her neck, trying to stimulate her into being the one to initiate the kiss. But my fingers suddenly seemed to realize the back of her neck felt different. The skin was marred, as if it held a scar.

When Reese went taut and her expression filled with apprehension, I frowned, wondering why she looked so worried.

Clutching her shoulders in my hands, I gently turned her around and lifted her hair out of my way, only to find a nasty scar that made me suck in a heavy breath.

“So you see,” she said, “that’s why I don’t pull my hair up anymore.”

“This looks deep.” I gently prodded the wound. “What happened?”

She paused, then said, “I was cut.”

“I see that.” But… “What cut you?”

“A knife.”

“A knife,” I repeated. Things inside me went tense and alarmed. A knife had cut her…on the back of the neck? “Did it cut you on purpose?”

“Maybe,” she hedged, which totally meant yes.

Holy shit. Someone had gone after her with a knife. Why? Why would someone want to hurt Reese?

Protective rage roared through me. I wanted to damage whoever had hurt her, and I wanted to hit myself for not being there to shield her from this, all the while realizing I was the one exposing her to more danger right this very moment by merely being here in her presence.

When she shuddered against me, I pressed a kiss to the scar.

She murmured a regretful sound as I pulled away.

“If you don’t give away freebies,” she said, looking up at me, “then are you going to charge me for that?”

A spark of enraged pain roared through me at the reminder of what I was and why I shouldn’t even be here. But then… Shame flooded my bones, because I actually needed the prompt.

God, I was an ass. I was such an inconsiderate, idiot ass. I never should’ve even come here tonight to see her.

“No.” I kissed her scar yet again. “It wasn’t mouth to mouth, so no charge.”

She turned to me, her eyes full of agony and censure. “So if you kissed me, say, on the breasts, that would be free since it’s not mouth to mouth?”

Irritated that she was pressing this, I muttered, “No. That’s part of foreplay; it’s off-limits.”

Her gaze hardened. “And what you just did isn’t foreplay?”

No.

Maybe.

Yes.

Definitely.

“That was a friend comforting another friend,” I said, clenching my teeth because I knew I was lying to both of us. And it was obvious she knew it too.

“I see.” With a disappointed nod, she continued, “So, you weren’t about to kiss me—mouth to mouth—just before you discovered my scar?”

“Jesus.” I stepped away from her and ran a harassed hand through my hair. “Yes, okay. I almost kissed you. But I didn’t. Mistake averted. No harm done. We’re good.”

Except she said, “Are we?”

My mouth fell open. Why the hell was she so mad at me right now? Because I had almost kissed her? Or because I hadn’t? “What’re you saying, Reese?”

With a whimper, she closed her eyes and pressed a fist to her forehead. “I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. We can’t ever kiss or anything else, because you sleep with women for money. End of story.”

“Why do you always have to remind me of that?” I growled. “Trust me, I haven’t forgotten.”

Except for one brief, stupid moment, I kind of had.

“I’m not reminding you,” she snapped, opening her eyes and dropping her hands. “I’m reminding me.”

Oh.

Oh, holy shit, she was just as tempted and conflicted by this as I was.

Joy sprang to life inside me. I took a step toward her before I even realized what I was doing, just so relieved that she understood, that she knew what I was going through, because she was too. Thank God I wasn’t the only one experiencing this.

But she pulled away from me. “We’re just friends, Mason.”

Dammit. Right. What the fuck was I doing?

“Right,” I repeated aloud. Knowing I needed to go—now—I took the book from her hands that she was still holding and I waved it once. “Thanks for loaning this to me…friend.”

Then I kissed the scar on the back of her neck one last time and left.

I don’t think I dared to even draw another breath until I slid inside my Jeep almost two blocks later. And when I finally exhaled, a stream of curses fled with it.

That had been close. Too close.

If we had actually done something, it would’ve only been one night for me—a dream come true—but still only one night out of my entire life. But for her, it would’ve been something else entirely.

I needed to stop being so selfish. I needed to think about what was best for Reese.

And that was not me.

Confession #18: Thank God I answered that call.

Two weeks of hell followed that night.

Why? Because I actually did the right thing. I stayed away from Reese. And it was more miserable than I thought it would be.

I missed her. I missed sitting next to her at lunch and talking to her and teasing her and stealing her food. I even missed her when I did my damn calculus homework, sure she’d give me a hard time for every equation I calculated wrong. I missed her sweet pea scent and her full, open laugh. And I missed that feeling of peace she brought me. I just missed her.

I knew I should follow her advice and look for my own light inside myself to escape the misery, but damn, it was really fucking dark in there. Without her glow nearby, it was hard to see anything but the black I’d stupidly covered myself with these past two years.

It didn’t help that Sarah kept me updated every time Reese babysat her, either telling me something funny Reese had said or something crazy and creative they’d done together. It only made the ache grow deeper. My little sister had a serious case of hero worship, and I loved that as much as I hated it, because it just made things more miserable for me.

Then Patricia and Monica completed the wretchedness by showing up at the Country Club one evening, which happened to be a Friday the thirteenth—coincidence?—with a third woman in tow that I’d never met before.

“Oh, is this him, then?” the stranger cooed as soon as she slid out of the driver’s seat when I opened her door for her. “Nice. Very nice.” Smirking up at me, she flashed a twenty-dollar bill before deliberately slipping it into the front pocket of my slacks. Then she winked and snagged her valet ticket from my unsuspecting hand. “I approve.”

“Not yet, Deborah,” a woman called from the other side of her car.

My skin chilled ice-cold just hearing that dreaded familiar voice.

Glancing past the woman in front of me, I made eye contact with Satan herself as Patricia stood from the open passenger door. Then her sidekick, Monica, exited the back passenger seat, and I took an instinctive step back.

“Oh no,” the woman next to me said. “The poor thing’s gone all gun-shy.” She made a tsking sound and sent a reprimanding glance toward her friends as they came around the car to join us. “You two didn’t break him, did you?” Turning back to me, she patted my cheek. “And here I was so looking forward to my turn.”

“Pass,” I snarled, tilting my face out of her reach.

Surprise splashed across her features. Pressing a hand to her chest as if offended and completely innocent of any wrongdoing, she said, “Excuse me?”

I glanced meaningfully at her two companions. “If you actually like to keep such shitty company, then I don’t want anything to do with you.”

Patricia paused her step and lifted a reprimanding eyebrow as if to say, Watch yourself, boy, as Monica tossed her hair with an amused laugh. “Said the little whore.”

In return, I sniffed out my boredom because I swear she’d used that line on me already and I snipped back, “Who all three of you want but can’t have.”

“Well, well, well,” Patricia murmured, strolling forward. “Look who’s grown a backbone. How cute.” But her smile turned dark when she stopped in front of me and flicked me under the chin with a sharp-tipped fingernail, feeling as if she sliced skin open. “Remind me to punish you extra-long for that quip the next time I have you on my bed and you’re asking me what my fantasy is.”

As I scowled and swiped the back of my hand across my chin before checking myself for blood, her two minions laughed.

“Come along, my darlings,” Patricia told her posse, hooking her arms through theirs. “Mason’s too moody to play tonight.”

Deborah lifted her chin. “Apparently.”

Monica batted her lashes. “He must not have recovered from our last round in my office. Have you, sweetness?”

I narrowed my eyes at her, silently warning her not to fuck with me, even as my stomach churned with unease because I realized she really had been the last person I’d been with. It made me want to go home and take another twenty showers, scrubbing myself with bleach and a wire brush.

Surprisingly, the glare I sent her worked. Monica paled and shrank back, only for Patricia to step forward, blocking her, as if to protect the weak link of her little threesome.

“Keep up the disrespectful act, boy, and I’ll be forced to report your behavior to your supervisor.” She arched an eyebrow. “His name’s Tyler, isn’t it?”

Shit, she was right. I had to behave at the Country Club and be pleasant to customers. Glancing away, I blatantly ignored her.

She and Deborah laughed as if amused by my surrender, and Deborah brushed her hand along my arm before the three of them went inside. Once they were gone, I finally grimaced after them, wishing I could do something to truly convince them how much they disgusted me.

“Hey,” Landon called, walking up from the parking garage. “You going to park that thing or not?”

I glanced at Deborah’s car still idling beside me. Loath to go near it, I pulled the keys along with the twenty she’d given me from my pocket and held it out to him.

“They actually requested you as their valet.”

“Really?” Landon’s eyebrows popped up with interest as he eyed the money. “Sweet.”

He took the keys and cash and hopped into the Lexus. I blew out a breath of relief, glad I didn’t have to get into that vehicle as Landon pulled it away from the valet station. About the time he returned, Mac—the third valet working tonight—had returned from his supper break, and the three of us shot the shit a few minutes, waiting for someone to pull up when my cell phone rang.

I grimaced, figuring it was probably Patricia. But when I checked my screen, I didn’t recognize the number.

She must’ve borrowed her friend Deborah’s phone. I rolled my eyes and considered ignoring it. But then the front doors of the club opened, and Patricia reappeared arm in arm with Deborah and Monica, and none of them had a phone out.

Curious who was calling me, I frowned and pulled the phone from my pocket again. Clients never called—they texted—so that eliminated just about any foreign number that showed up.

“Hello?” I asked cautiously, preparing to hear a telemarketer.

“Mason!” the caller blurted, her voice high-pitched and frantic, in full-on panic mode. “I need you; I don’t know what to do. Sarah’s having a seizure, and I don’t know what to do. She won’t stop shaking, and Dawn’s not answering her phone. I’m so freaked out right now. I don’t know what to do.”

At first, it was hard for me to understand what she had even said. Each word ran into the next, making a huge, long, run-on sentence with no pause for air.

A second later, I was able to at least recognize her voice. “Reese?” I blurted in utter shock. I glanced up and made eye contact with Patricia, who’d obviously heard me, so I turned my back to her and walked a ways away, letting Mac or Landon deal with them.

“Yes!” Reese screeched. “Who the hell do you think it is? Did you hear me? I said your sister’s having a SEIZURE.”

Oh, shit. “Yeah, okay. I heard. I think. Just… First of all, calm down.”

I glanced back and waved at Mac before pointing at my phone and mouthing a quick explanation, letting him know I had a family emergency before I raced off in the direction of my parked Jeep.

Meanwhile, Reese was yelling, “Calm down? Calm down?”

I nodded, smiling a little over her hysteria. “You can’t help her if you’re flipping out. Did you get her out of her wheelchair? Is she lying down?”

“Yes,” she babbled, tears in her voice. “We’re on the floor in the hall. I was giving her a bath when—”

“Good,” I said. “Keep her there and just stay with her. Talk to her. Let her know she’s not alone. I’ll be home in a minute.”

“Do I call for an ambulance?”

“Is she turning blue or changing any colors?”

“No.”

I blew out a relieved breath, my worry easing even more. “Not yet, then. This is fairly typical, but I’ll know more when I get there.”

“Okay. Okay.” Reese hiccupped a sob. “Hurry.”

“I will.”

I hung up, and once I reached my Jeep, I leapt behind the wheel. I had a feeling Sarah would be okay. My heart always stuttered a little with fear whenever she had a seizure, but she’d ended up fine after them every single time so far, so I had that reassurance.

I think Reese was the one I was more worried about. She sounded as if she were on the verge of having a panic attack. So I floored it all the way home, running a red light when I didn’t see anyone else at the intersection.

I didn’t bother pulling into the drive, just stopped at the curb and killed the engine. When I flew through the front door, the living room was quiet and dark, which made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Mom usually left the television on as background noise. It felt weird for it to be turned off.

“Reese?” I called, fearing the worst.

“We’re here,” a trembling voice answered from the hall.

I held my breath and hurried there, only to find my sister lying on her back on the floor with Reese kneeling next to her, gently smoothing Sarah’s pajama shirt over her torso.

“I was just getting her night clothes on,” she explained, wiping the back of her hand over her nose. “She passed out after the seizure stopped. I didn’t know if that was normal.”

I bent down beside her and checked Sarah’s pulse. “Sometimes. How long has she been like this?”

“Umm.” Reese shook her head and then kept shaking it as if she couldn’t seem to stop. “A few minutes. Three. Four.” She looked up at me, her face pale but nose bright red, which made her eyes look extra blue. “You got here fast.”

I wanted to touch her, just to soothe her. “You sounded pretty shaken.”

The movement of her head morphed from side to side to up and down. “How… How long will she be like this?”

“Not much longer. So you need to keep it together, okay. If she sees you upset, she’s going to get upset too. We don’t need anything triggering another episode.” But mostly I couldn’t handle seeing her so shaken. “Think you can do that?”

For a moment, her eyes looked wild, as if she were going to lose it all over again, but then she drew in a deep breath, her chest heaving, and she nodded again before wiping at her still damp cheeks.

“Good,” I said, shifting closer to her. “She’ll probably need a drink when she wakes up.”

“Okay.” She popped to her feet as if relieved to have something to do. “I’ll get her some water.”

I grasped her wrist, and she immediately froze, zipping a worried look to me as if she’d done something wrong. Her pulse jumped under my fingers, worrying me more.

“I’ll get it,” I said, pushing to my feet and encouraging her to sit with Sarah.

When I returned, Reese’s face was brightening with relief, and Sarah’s lashes were fluttering open.

“Hey,” I told her as I crouched beside Reese. “Welcome back, kiddo. You had a little spell there, but you’re okay now.”

Setting the water aside, I took my sister’s shoulders and propped her up so she could sit with her back against my chest. Then I grabbed the cup and tipped it up to her mouth, letting her drink her fill. Once she finished, she glanced around as if looking for something specific, stopping only when she found Reese.

Reese sniffed and forced a big smile, crawling forward until her knees bumped into mine. “I guess my knock-knock jokes were just too funny, huh?”

Sarah giggled. “Knock-knock.”

“Who’s there?” Reese asked.

“Boo,” Sarah answered.

Together, Reese and I quipped, “Boo who?”

Sarah cracked up even more. Reese’s eyes turned huge as if she worried her little buddy was going to fall into another seizure, but I laughed with my sister and lifted her up into my arms as I stood.

“Let’s get you into bed, kiddo. We’re missing out on some valuable Harry Potter story time.”

“Well, we can’t have that,” Reese added, trailing us into the bedroom and even pulling the blankets back for me to set Sarah on the bed. Then she settled in beside my sister, so I took the other side, and the three of us read chapter seven of The Chamber of Secrets together.

Seizures usually wore her out, so Sarah fell asleep before I even finished the scene.

Realizing she was starting to snore, I quieted my voice and glanced across her sleeping form to check on Reese.

As soon as her gaze met mine, her chin trembled and tears flooded her eyes. I closed the book and placed it on the nightstand. After setting my mouth against Sarah’s forehead, I crawled off the bed and moved to the doorway of the room, pausing to watch Reese fuss over Sarah a moment longer, smoothing her blankets around her and then kissing her cheek.

“’Night, little buddy. I love you so much,” I heard her say.

When she stepped into the hall and shut the door behind her, I finally asked, “Are you okay?”

She sniffed and rolled her red-rimmed eyes before hugging herself. “I’m not the one who just had a seizure.”

I shook my head. “Don’t worry about her. She’s going to be fine.” Then, because I couldn’t handle not touching her a second longer, I took her hand and tried to tug her down the hall. “Come on. Let’s get you a drink.”

Reese shook her head and resisted. “I need to clean up the bathroom. I think there’s still water in the tub, and the towels are everywhere, and—”

“Don’t worry about that either. I’ll clean the bathroom later. Just…come and sit down for a second. You look like you need to get off your feet.”

She looked at me again, more tears trembling in her eyes, so I dragged her to the kitchen and poured her a glass of water.

When I held it out, she merely looked at it as if drinking anything would cause the waterworks to gush harder.

She looked up at me, her eyes pleading. “Are you sure she’s going to be okay?”

I shook my head, smiling softly, loving how much she cared about Sarah. “You know, your eyes look really big and blue when you’ve been crying,” I heard myself say.

Incredulous shock filled her expression. She plopped into a chair, staring at me as if I’d lost my mind. “Wha… How can you possibly think about eyes at a time like this? Your sister just—”

“Shh.” I got rid of the cup and took her hands, tugging her right back up from the chair. “Come here.”

Confession #19: I really wasn’t a great friend, was I?

I finally hugged her as I’d been aching to do since I flew through the front door. She sank gratefully against me, latching onto the back of my shirt as if it were a lifeline. When she buried her face in my shoulder, I swept my hand along her spine and pressed my cheek to her temple, wishing I could always be this close to her.

“She’s going to be fine,” I murmured. “She is fine.”

She looked up at me as if I were actually someone to trust. “How do you know?”

I smiled and brushed the backs of my knuckles across her cheek. “Well, I have this theory. If you love someone enough, you can make them invincible. Like your feelings for them are so strong, they work as a magical shield, protecting them from all harm and pain.”

She sniffed, her lips trembling into a half smile. “Like the protective spell Harry’s mom used to save his life from Voldemort? Her love protected him.”

I kissed her nose. “Yeah. Kind of exactly like that.”

“I like that theory.” She placed her cheek back on my shoulder. “I wish it were really true.”

I brushed her temple with my lips and exhaled sadly. “Yeah. So do I.”

I’d protect her from Patricia and strangers who took knives to her. Nothing would ever hurt her again if it were true.

We continued to stand there and hug, quietly soaking in comfort from each other until she stirred as if waking from a lovely dream.

“Thank you so much for coming home.”

I brushed my fingers through her glossy dark hair. It was so silky soft. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know,” she answered. “I was… I was worried you were busy. With a woman.”

Ah, fuck.

For a moment there, I’d forgotten about that. Forgotten what I was. I’d been so focused on her and this moment, real life seemed like a distant nightmare.

Returning to reality, I untangled my fingers from her hair. “No,” I muttered reluctantly. “I don’t get off work at the club until after eleven. I was still there.”

“Oh.” As I looked away, she continued, “Well, thank you anyway. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t calmed me down.”

I shifted backward, out of her arms, and into the cold loneliness where I belonged. “You handled it just fine.” Gruffly trying to get my head back in the game, where we could never be together, I added, “You found a safe place for her and got help. There’s not much else to do when she’s having an episode.”

I felt her watching me but I couldn’t meet her gaze. Not until she said, “I’ve missed you.”

I swerved her a shocked glance, trying to ignore the sudden accelerated beating of my heart. Mocking confusion, I shook my head slightly. “I haven’t gone anywhere.”

She wasn’t swayed. “You know what I mean,” she accused, crossing her arms over her chest and not letting me off the hook. “I thought we were friends.”

What? I shook my head. That accusation really did confuse me. “We are.”

“Oh, really?” She lifted an eyebrow. “Well, friends don’t avoid friends. You’ve been avoiding me. On purpose. I still sit at the exact same table every day for lunch. And we still keep getting calculus assignments to work on.”

“I know.” Dammit, now I felt like a heel. I’d been so determined to do what was right for her that I hadn’t even considered what she’d think about it all. “I know. I just…” Gritting my teeth, I squeezed the bridge of my nose and met her gaze. “We got a little too close that night. I still want to be your friend, Reese. I will be your friend. I just… I need some time and space to…” God, how did I explain this? How did I make it okay. “To control my…my horny guy urges,” I blurted.

Except I think I made it too okay with that explanation, because her face lit up, and she rushed toward me, so close that I stumbled backward away from her until my back hit the wall. But she didn’t stop there, she continued to lean in.

I drew in a sharp breath, not sure how to react. I wanted this. Fuck, yes, I wanted it. But I knew I should behave.

If she initiated it, though, that seemed like a whole different story; it felt as if it’d be okay to kiss her back if she kissed me first, or touch her back if she touched me first.

“Jesus,” I whispered when she stopped only an inch from my mouth, neither kissing nor touching me.

“So you thought we got too close, huh?” she asked, her eyes sparkling with interest, physically demonstrating just how much closer we could get.

I looked at her mouth, wanting it against mine. “Yes,” I breathed.

“I see. And you haven’t had enough time or space to control those pesky urges yet?”

I swallowed noisily. “Not…quite…yet.”

Damn, was she going to kiss me or not?

She cooed sympathetically. “Gee, I’m sorry to hear that.” She tapped my chin dimple. “Make sure to let me know when they’re gone, okay? I’m ready to have my friend back.”

I reached out—almost grabbed her by the hair and yanked her against me—only to clutch the edge of the kitchen counter for dear life. “You are so evil. If I didn’t like you so much, I’d take you right now.”

Oh, God. What had I just said? I hadn’t planned on saying that.

Holding my breath, I waited for her to slap me and call me an ass.

But the only response I got was the lifting of her eyebrows, as if she were curious. “Really?” she said, interested. “How?”

Heat covered me from head to toe, the hottest part settling in my shorts. “Probably hard and fast against this wall.”

“Hmm.” She bit her lip, pleasure sparking in her gaze while she studied the wall I was leaning against as if picturing the whole thing in her mind. “That sounds…fun.”

Fuck, yes, it would be.

Just when I started to wonder if maybe she’d give in and take me up on the suggestion, she broke into a grin as if she’d been teasing me the entire time. “I guess since we’re friends and you’re not going to take me, I’ll give you that time and space you need then.”

I wanted to cry. I seriously wanted to sink to the floor and bawl.

Time and space was the last thing I craved. So when she took a big, deliberate step backward, away from me, I sighed in extreme disappointment but played along, tsking and shaking my head. “Evil, evil, evil.”

She shrugged, grinning mischievously. “Would you really have given me a freebie just now?”

“Just say the word,” I answered, meaning it with every fiber of my being.

Except she didn’t say the word. All she did was smile as if pleased with herself, and she nodded. “Cool.” Then she abandoned me there in the kitchen so she could fetch her purse from the table and disappear into the hallway, only to return with her phone she’d left on the floor when she’d called me during Sarah’s seizure.

I fell into a chair to sit with my elbows resting on the tabletop, my face in my hands.

“I guess I’ll see you around,” she said softly.

I glanced up to watch her slip the phone into her purse. “Are you seriously going to walk out of here right now after I just confessed my soul to you, cool as a cucumber, without reciprocating at all?”

She blinked once, only to roll her eyes. “Mason Lowe,” she teased, ruffling my hair affectionately, “if you don’t know by now that I’m attracted as hell to you, you’re freaking blind.”

I shouldn’t have been relieved by that. It shouldn’t have made everything better. But it did.

“There,” I muttered. “Was that so hard to admit?”

The brat stuck her tongue out at me. “Good night, Hotness.”

Hotness? Was that her name for me? Her version of my Glowing Girl? I grinned and shook my head. Reese was definitely something else.

She started for the exit, and I watched her go. “’Night, Reese,” I whispered.

As soon as the door closed behind her, I rested my face back in my hands and blew out a long breath. But, fuck, this sucked. How could one quirky, carefree, childlike, express-every-emotion-she-felt-all-across-her-face girl get me so twisted up inside?

When I heard the back door squeak open, I surged to my feet, my breath catching. She had come back. She—

“So, Reese is the babysitter, huh?” Patricia said, slinking inside and leaning against the very bit of wall Reese had just backed me into.

I narrowed my eyes and pointed. “Get the fuck out of my house.”

“My house,” she said sweetly. “My name’s on the title, darling, not yours.”

With a snort, I glanced around the dilapidated kitchen. “Oh, you want to play the landlady card, huh? Then I have a whole list of repairs we need done around here.”

“Mason, Mason, Mason,” she sighed and slipped her hand up and down the wall behind her, right where I’d pressed my back only minutes ago, tainting the special memory I’d just made there with Reese. “We’ve already been over this. You know what you need to do in order to get those repairs done.”

“And you know that’s not ever happening again, not even if hell freezes over.”

Her pleasant expression dissolved, and she stepped away from the wall, narrowing her eyes. “What is your problem lately? Why are you resisting this so hard?”

“Why do you want it so bad?” I countered. “If you’re that damn horny, I can find you some willing schmuck who’d happily—”

“This has nothing to do with sex,” she cried passionately, which made me lift an eyebrow, because sex was the only thing she ever tried to get from me. Then she flushed slightly before frowning. “I tried others, but they’re just not you. They’re not as obedient, or respectful, or willing to learn.”

“I wouldn’t say I was ever willing,” I muttered, hating all her descriptions because I could honestly only argue the one. Sadly, the rest were true.

“You’re mine,” she argued. “That’s what you are.”

“What?” I blinked once and then sputtered, “The fuck if I am. You’re the one who sent me off to other women in the first place.”

Rolling her eyes and fluttering a hand as if that were not the issue at all, she said, “I was just borrowing you out, like loaning a scarf to a friend in need.”

“I’m not a fucking scarf,” I growled, baring my teeth at her. “And I’m not yours. I never was; I never will be. And all that shit you said just now to describe me… Well, it’s not true anymore either. You’ve fucked me over enough times, manipulating me into getting what you wanted, that I could no longer be a compliant little toy, even if I tried. You successfully killed that kid. Now get the fuck out of my house before I physically make you.”

I stepped toward her, rage seeping from my pores. I must’ve looked pissed off enough because her eyes widened as she skidded a step back toward the exit. But then her face darkened, and she suddenly stood her ground.

“No,” she snarled. “I made you, little boy. You are my creation. And we’re not done until I say we’re done. No one, especially that bright-eyed, bushy-tailed little cheerleader you’re drooling over, is going to get her hands on my property, without my permission. Now… Unless you want me to ruin your precious Reese—”

“Wow,” I interrupted dryly, rolling my eyes. “Threatening someone you think is close to me, just like you did with my mom. And my sister. And that coworker of mine from the Country Club you got fired because I hung out at his house one afternoon instead of answering your summons? Call me shocked. It’s as if you have no other weapon in your arsenal of evil except to threaten my friends. So, trust me, I know the drill well. You’ll ruin her and make her wish she were never born unless I do whatever you say. Sound about right? And not that it’s any of your damn business, but Reese and I are only friends. So you’re wasting your breath on her, anyway.”

When she opened her mouth, probably to refute my claim, I pounced. “Now get the fuck out of my house.”

Grabbing her arm tightly, I dragged her, stumbling and cursing, toward the door where I opened it with my free hand and shoved her out into the dark night. Then I shut and locked her out before turning away and re-entering the kitchen.

But holy fuck; that had felt good. That had felt freeing, and just…amazing. I’d always wanted to bitch her out just like that but I’d always been too cowed by everything she was threatening me with.

I guess I’d just met my limit of threats from her. Except, shit… Maybe I hadn’t. Because, suddenly, the doubt rolled in.

I thought about my friend, Thad, who really had gotten fired because of her. He’d never talked to me again after that. And I knew it was Patricia who’d called social services on Mom, telling them she was an unfit mother, which had caused all kinds of people to invade our house, investigating her, until they’d finally cleared her.

And I swore Patricia had intercepted some of our mail before, confiscating bills so that we’d been turned into a collection agency, which had trashed my mom’s credit score—making it basically impossible for us to try to move away and rent or buy elsewhere. I knew I was old enough now that we could rent under my name, but I didn’t want to go that route yet, not unless we had to or until I felt we were safe enough. And right now, I didn’t feel safe at all.

Because my bitch of a landlady was a nasty, spiteful woman, who kept me perpetually afraid. And I’d pretty much just unleashed her on Reese.

God, I sucked.

No longer feeling good or free about everything I’d just said to Patricia, I sank back against the kitchen table and buried my face in shaking hands.

Reese, I silently begged, please forgive me for whatever I just did to you.

Confession #20: I had a hard time listening to good advice, even when it threatened me.

Five days passed. I kept my distance from Reese, even though it probably didn’t matter what I did at this point. Patricia knew exactly who she was and how important she was to me.

But even if the wicked witch wasn’t part of the equation, I was not the kind of person Reese needed in her life.

Not that it mattered how far away I stayed, because the physical distance had become only a technicality. Now that I had her number in my phone, we started texting. Daily. And through those messages, I think we ended up actually growing closer than ever.

I knew I should’ve stopped. But I couldn’t seem to help myself. No one could make me smile like Reese did whenever she went and called me nonsensical names like goober or buzzkill.

So I found myself skimming back through and rereading our playful banter during a lull at the Country Club one night when a ball of brown fur darted toward me, yapping out a happy greeting.

I blinked dumbly at it before saying, “Gidget?” It had to be; she even had that same pink bow attached to her fur.

Holy shit, where had she come from?

I knelt beside the pooch, and she licked my hand, panting up at me in adoration.

“What’re you doing here?” I asked in wonder as if I actually expected an answer, just as some guy came jogging up.

“I am so sorry,” he gushed. “She got away from her leash. Damn thing is way too big for her neck, but the wife adores it, so…”

I looked from the man’s brown loafers to his face just in time to catch a chagrined shrug. Transferring my gaze to a familiar bejeweled collar in his hand, I gave a painful swallow, remembering the thing squeezing my throat all too well not too long ago.

Yeah, it probably would be too big for a tiny little dog like Gidget if it had fit me just right.

“No problem,” I said, lifting Gidget in order to hand her over to her owner. “Here you go.”

“Thanks.” The man smiled gratefully as he took his pet back, only to crinkle his eyebrows and ask, “Hey, how did you know her name?”

I froze, no lie readily coming to mind. “I… I’m sorry, what?”

The man tipped his head to the dog as he slipped the collar back around her neck. “You called her Gidget. How’d you know that?”

“Oh.” Mind still blank, I just stared at him. “I…”

Don’t ask me that, I wanted to say. And don’t wear your red Speedo again until you wash it first.

“Oh, I told him,” a new voice said, causing both me and Gidget’s owner to glance over in surprise.

When I found Eva Mercer strolling toward us, I gaped at her badly. There was no earthly reason why she would come to my rescue, unless there was some kind of ulterior motive behind it.

Shit. I immediately wondered what her motive was. It couldn’t be good, that was for sure.

The man smiled. “Well, hey there, Eva. I didn’t know you were here.” He glanced past her. “Are you parents around too?”

She smiled and waved an unconcerned hand toward the front entrance of the club. “They’re inside, eating.” Then she touched my arm, making me jump as she drew me into the conversation. “Mason and I are old classmates. We were talking when you pulled up with Gidget, and I told him her name then.”

“Ah.” The man looked at me with a new expression as if he accepted me now as one of them since Eva had vouched for me. “That makes sense.”

Eva glanced at me with a small smirk. “Yes, we think it’s just adorable how you treat her like one of the family.”

Grinning with affection, the man lifted Gidget to his face and she happily licked his cheek. I winced, remembering when her dog tongue had been in my ear. Seriously, how could he stand her slimy, wet dog breath?

Grinning at Eva, he answered, “Yeah, she keeps me company on those nights when Greta’s working late at the hospital.”

I could only guess that Greta was his wife, the client I had served.

With a teasing grin, Eva set her hands on her hips. “Dr. Masterson,” she scolded. “You two are leading surgeons in that hospital. Can’t you guys even schedule yourselves so you get the same days off?”

Dr. Masterson merely laughed. “I’m not sure we’d know what to do with each other if we ever had free time together.” Snuggling his face into Gidget’s fur, he grinned at the dog before nodding to Eva. “I’m going to head in and say hi to your folks.” Then he sent me a head bob. “Thanks for catching my girl here.”

“Anytime,” I said, watching him walk away and feeling like the ultimate slime ball for smiling at him as if we were pals after everything I’d ever done with his wife. What a fucking joke I was.

Eva sighed from beside me. “He seems like such a good, stand-up, respectable doctor, doesn’t he?” she said as she also watched him enter the building, her expression turning sour. “You’d never guess he gets off on kiddie porn and watching fathers molest their daughters. Fucking prick bastard.”

I glanced at her, my eyes wide. “What?”

She turned abruptly to face me. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

My brow pinched into a frown. “For what?”

“For saving your bacon just now.” She lifted her eyebrows meaningfully. “I could tell you were floundering for an answer as to how you knew Gidget’s name. So I had to guess you’d learned it when you were at Dr. Masterson’s house…with his wife, who’s also Dr. Masterson, by the way. Dr. Greta Masterson… In case you never learned her name while you were screwing her.”

I said nothing, just watched her, wondering what she wanted from me.

“So, yeah,” she went on, snickering bitterly. “I know you’re probably wondering how you could ever repay me, right? Well, never fear, because I have just the solution.” Shifting her expression into a bright smile, she said, “Stay the fuck away from my cousin, and we’ll call it even. Okay?”

I pulled back and lifted my eyebrows. “Excuse me?”

Eva stepped close. “Stay…away…from Reese.” She lifted her eyebrows right back at me. “Was that clear enough for you?”

“No,” I said, growing pissed on Reese’s behalf as I backed away from Eva. “You don’t control her and decide who she can and can’t befriend.”

“Befriend?” she repeated as if amused by the word. “Is that how you convince yourself it’s okay to keep sniffing around her? Because you two are just friends?”

“We are just friends,” I spat, scowling hard, even as guilt nipped at me because she was right. I had pretty much convinced myself it was okay to merely talk to Reese, to just be her friend. We weren’t doing anything wrong.

But inside, I knew better.

“Right.” Eva laughed harshly and shook her head. “And controlling her is the last thing I have on my mind, you idiot. She’s the best person I know. I don’t want to ruin that; I want to preserve it. She’s better than you. She’s better than me. She’s better than everyone in this god-forsaken town, and the sooner she gets the fuck out of here, the better. But until then, I’m not letting you or any other lowlife taint the purity that is my amazing cousin. You got that, asshole?”

My mouth fell open. For a moment, I just stared at her, shocked by how much she actually cared about Reese, shocked that she cared about anything.

I had planned on being nothing but snide and hostile to her, but her genuine concern for Reese shocked me into a sincere response. “I don’t want to taint her, either,” I admitted.

Eva threw her hands in the air. “Then you know what you have to do, don’t you? You have to stay away from her.”

“Yeah,” I said slowly, shaking my head. “Except I don’t think I can.”

“Well, you better.” She pointed threateningly. “Or I’m going to make your life a living hell. Do you hear me?”

I heard her. I even respected what she had to say and knew she was right.

I just…

I couldn’t stay completely away from Reese, no matter how hard I tried.

She was my light.

“Eva,” a sharp voice snapped from behind us. Mercer jumped and whirled toward the woman, who approached and frowned at me before narrowing Eva with a scowl.

“Yes, Mother?” Eva said, making me focus more intently on the woman’s face. She must be Reese’s aunt, Mads, her mom’s younger sister.

Eva’s mother glanced at me once more, with eyes that were the same shade as Reese’s. “Come away now,” she said, taking her daughter’s arm forcefully. “We don’t associate with people like him.”

“Oh, trust me,” Eva said dryly. “I wasn’t associating with him.”

“Good. Keep it that way. Your father and I have a reputation to uphold. I won’t have you tarnishing it by getting caught anywhere near such gutter trash.”

“Of course, Mother. He’s gutter trash,” Eva repeated, staring straight at me. “I got it. I just hope he does.” Then she let her mother whisk her back inside the Country Club.

I watched them go, feeling hollow inside as Eva’s words resounded through me like an echo chasing itself.

You’re gutter trash…gutter trash. Gutter trash. She’s better than you…don’t want you to taint her…stay away. Stay away…stay away.

If she hadn’t repeated the very words I’d thought to myself over and over again these past few weeks, I probably would’ve been able to blow her off entirely. But I’d already considered everything, and she was right. Glancing down at my phone, I reread Reese’s cheerful words, and an ache lacerated my chest.

Why couldn’t life be simple, and I could just be with the person who made me happy?

With a groan, I shoved my phone into my pocket and tried not to think about the Reese dilemma. But then my phone dinged, and my heart gave a little leap of anticipation, hoping it was her.

When I checked the screen, however, the message was from Amanda Riker.

Amanda: I need you.

Grinding my teeth, I ignored the text and shoved my phone back into my pocket.

She messaged again an hour later, then an hour after that. The more she tried to get a hold of me, the more determined I became to ignore her, and the more the bitterness grew in me, resenting every client who’d ever contacted me. I kind of wanted to flip the entire world the bird. If I couldn’t have the one I wanted, then none of them could have me. That’s how I felt.

When I woke the next morning to my phone lighting up again with another message, I sighed and tugged my pillow over my head, wondering why I hadn’t just turned the damn thing off. In fact… I reached for it to turn it off now, but then I noticed the message wasn’t from Amanda, thank God.

Reese: Ready for the calculus test tomorrow? Wanna bet over which one of us makes a higher score?

And just like that, brightness lit up inside me. Smiling, I rolled my eyes and responded.

Mason: Why do I feel as if I’m being hustled right now?

When those three little dots popped onto the screen almost as soon as the message flipped to Read, my heart started to beat a little faster. I loved it when she immediately responded.

Reese: You know, if you had studied your ass off, you might actually have a chance of beating me. A small, insignificant chance, but a chance nonetheless.

Forgetting everything but bantering with her, I shot back my own instant reply.

Mason: Sadly, I still have my ass, so that should make my chances of beating you, what…in the negative percentile range? (Is negative percent even a thing?)

Reese: Clearly, you’ve already lost, because you would know the answer about negative percentiles if you’d actually done your homework. Loser. You should just give me my winnings now. PS-I wouldn’t say it’s sad at all that you still have your ass. I’m quite fond of it as it is. ;)

I threw back my head and laughed. This was what I loved most about Reese. She could flirt, ridicule, and trash talk all in the same breath and make it fun and enticing while she was at it.

Mason: I don’t recall actually taking you up on the bet, cheater. But regardless, isn’t retaining my ass prize enough for your pervy eyes?

Reese: Good point. I therefore retract my demand for a different prize. But now I’m wondering when I’ll actually get to see said ass again. Are you still determined to stay away until all horny guy urges are gone, or can I finally have my friend back now?

Biting my lip, I typed my response.

Mason: Not yet.

Her typing bubble popped up, and I could only imagine what she had to say about that, so I beat her to the punch, adding more.

Mason: But soon.

Reese: HOW soon?

A brief thought fluttered through my head about Eva warning me away with her genuine reasons of keeping Reese safe, and then I recalled Patricia’s threatening words, but I still couldn’t seem to tell Reese I should never see her again.

Mason: A few days maybe.

Reese: I’m holding you to that, Hotness. Been missing my study partner something fierce.

I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. Because I was positive I missed her more.

I could’ve sat here all day just talking to her, but I needed to get ready and off to school. Maybe I’d spot her around campus.

As corny as it sounded, there was an extra bounce in my step by the time I entered the kitchen where Mom and Sarah were eating breakfast.

“Morning,” I said brightly, whistling softly under my breath as I ruffled Sarah’s hair when I passed her chair to snag a banana from a basket on the counter.

“Good morning,” Mom answered, watching me curiously over the top of her coffee cup. Her brows lifted. “You seem to be full of smiles this morning. And did I hear you laughing in your room a minute ago?”

“Oh.” Surprised she’d even noticed, I flushed and cleared my throat. “I read something funny on my phone.”

Sarah snickered over my reaction, making me wrinkle my nose at her.

“Well, it was nice to hear.” Mom rose to her feet and moved to the sink to rinse out her empty cup. “I can’t remember the last time I heard you laugh.” After setting her mug on the counter, she turned my way. “You’ve been all-around happier since school started. I think college has been good for you.”

And then she did the craziest thing ever. She touched my arm—like honest-to-God touched me with a motherly kind of encouraging pat at the end of the contact—as she passed by.

“I’m going to get my purse and I’ll be ready to go. Okay, Sarah?” she said before disappearing down the hall.

I gaped after her before turning to my sister. “Did you see that? She just touched me.”

My sister only giggled. “You’re weird.”

“Weird?” I gasped in feigned outrage. “If I’m weird, it’s only because you like me best that way.” Then I commenced to tickle her until she was laugh-screaming for me to stop.

Chuckling, I had mercy on her and kissed her forehead before telling her goodbye and slipping out the back door.

My mother had been right though, I was happier these days. Even when I was miserable over missing Reese, things had been better than they’d been before.

Needing a fix from my source of happiness, I visited the library that afternoon. I’d spotted Reese on the other side of the quad earlier in the day, but that just wasn’t enough for me. I needed more.

Since I knew she worked part-time at the college library on days she didn’t babysit Sarah, I went there, hoping she might be on duty.

I struck pay dirt a few minutes later when I caught sight of her organizing books on a shelf up on a small, second-floor browsing area. My first instinct was to bounce right up there and say hi. But this joyous bubbling sensation in my chest had me freaked out, wondering if I’d just make a huge fool of myself if I approached her right now in the overly eager mood I was in.

So I found a butt-ugly green couch to crash on, not far from where she was working, and I pulled her copy of The Chamber of Secrets from my messenger bag, deciding to read until she noticed me and she did the approaching.

But that plan backfired when Monica, of all people, appeared in front of me, trying to get lucky. I had thought I had her convinced to stay away from me, but Patricia must’ve gotten into her head and bolstered her ego or something. She was more persistent than ever. And sadly, I couldn’t bitch her out like I had last time—not with Reese being so close and within hearing distance. I tried to keep it low-key and reject Monica as subtly as possible. But she ended up leaving me her business card before strolling off, and I could only imagine how awful the whole encounter looked to Reese… If she’d even noticed at all.

I risked a glance her way, but she seemed intent on her work, so I couldn’t tell if she’d detected her English professor’s brief presence or not.

I was about to just stand up and go talk to her already when a smirking Eva strolled up, her arms crossed over her chest and expression full of evil mischief.

Ah, hell. This could not be good.

“Well, look who’s hanging out in a library, actually reading,” she greeted. “Or is that just a front to meet some horny skank?”

I could barely blink at her before she slapped Reese’s book from my hands, sending it crashing to the floor, and she sat on my lap in its place.

“What the hell?” I hissed, leaning backward away from her.

She looped her arms around my neck and loudly claimed, “I just saw Dr. Janison up here. Isn’t she one of your regulars?” Then she leaned in and more quietly whispered, “I told you to stay away from her or I’d make you pay. Well, rent’s due, buddy.”

“Eva,” I growled. “Get off me.” I tried to tug her off by grabbing her wrist and pulling, but she didn’t budge.

“So, did you two actually do it up here,” she went on conversationally, lifting her voice again because I’m sure she knew Reese was close and could hear us, “or were you only setting up your next appointment? Personally, I think it’d be hot to do it in some place public. Like a library. Except we’d have to be too quiet.”

Shifting my face to the side, I gnashed my teeth and lifted my hands, not sure what else to do. “Seriously, you need to get off me. Now.”

“Seriously,” she repeated smugly. “You need to loosen up.”

She started touching me the way I hated it most when clients touched me, and a sick, cold dread consumed me, because I knew Reese could see.

She could see exactly what I was.

A part of me died, knowing another one of my dirty truths was being revealed to her. Because this was me; this was what people did to me, and I let them.

“So, I’m not drunk now,” Eva went on, killing all sense of hope and light inside me. “You don’t have to be a gentleman any longer. Still want to turn me down?”

“Yes,” I seethed, restraining myself as best as I could to keep from bodily harming Reese’s cousin. “I’m not going to sleep with you, Mercer. Ever.”

“Why?” she growled, losing her evil, playful edge and growing just plain pissed. “Because I’m not one of your professors? Because I can’t give you an automatic A for every orgasm well received?”

I shook my head, just wanting this over. She’d already accomplished her mission and allowed Reese to see me as the filthy whore. Why was she drawing the torture out? Could I not just crawl off and waste away in peace now?

“Actually, there are several reasons,” I said. “And none of them have to do with that. First of which, you have a boyfriend. Not to mention, I don’t want to have sex with you, plus your cousin is—”

“Don’t you dare mention Reese,” she hissed. “She’s been through enough and doesn’t need another loser asshole hurting her. So just stay away. Got it?”

Not expecting her to say something like that, I focused on her intently to see if I could spot a lie. When I saw nothing but truth, an angry shock consumed me.

I remembered that scar on the back of Reese’s neck and her determination to hide it. Eva’s words swirled back through my head—another loser asshole hurting her—and it replayed there until I realized someone Reese had dated must’ve gone after her with that knife. She’d come right out and told me she had a bad history with just one guy. She had thought she’d fallen for some fucker, and in return, the bastard had cut her.

Son of a bitch. I’d kill him.

“Who hurt her?” I demanded. “Hurt her how?” Except I’d already guessed everything.

I clenched my teeth while a cold fury spread through my limbs.

Eva only smiled. “She’s not to be played with. If you want to play, you’ll have to settle for me.”

I snorted. “Pass.”

“Oh, I’m sure I could change your mind.”

When she grabbed my package through my jeans, I was done.

I surged to my feet and dumped her off my lap, right onto the floor in an angry heave. “Don’t ever touch me again.”

I started to storm off, but then Reese appeared in front of me. Drawing in a sharp breath, I braced for her to either wallop me or read me the riot act for shoving her cousin to the floor, but instead, her accusing finger didn’t even shake in my direction.

“Eva!” she hissed harshly. “What the hell are you doing? That’s sexual assault.”

Eva merely sniffed as she picked herself up and dusted off her backside. “Whatever. He’s a prostitute, ReeRee. He’s nothing.”

I sucked in a breath. It was one thing to be called that and to believe it because I lived it, but letting Reese hear it sprayed around so casually stung. I didn’t like her thinking I was shit.

But I guess she didn’t buy into Eva’s accusations. She retorted, “He’s a human being! He has just as many rights not to be harassed every time he turns around as you or I do. And how dare you do this to Alec? Were you seriously just going to cheat on him?”

Lifting her nose with a sniff, Eva muttered, “You’re blind if you can’t see I just did this for you.”

“Me?” Reese gaped in disbelief. “I guess I’m totally blind then. How did you do this for me?”

“He’s not good for you. I was trying to keep him away from you.”

Sighing, Reese rubbed at a spot on the center of her forehead. “Believe it or not, E, you don’t have to bother. Mason and I are just friends.”

Eva shook her head sadly. “Yeah, right. Keep telling yourself that, sweetie. Maybe someday our dead Grandma Dixon will actually believe it.” Searing me with a glare, she hissed, “You know better than to pant after her.”

Then she sniffed and stormed off.

Reese remained next to me. Afraid to even look at her, I closed my eyes briefly before sucking up the fear and just turning her way to blurt, “I’m sorry.”

Her face crinkled with confusion before she said, “For what?”

I lifted my hands only to let them fall hopelessly at my sides. “I just knocked your cousin to the floor.”

“You don’t have to apologize for that,” she told me. “I’m surprised you didn’t dump her off your lap sooner.”

And now I felt like an idiot for not shoving Eva away sooner, because I’d certainly wanted to, I just hadn’t thought I should. It still felt weird knowing I’d hurt her, even in a minor way. And last night, I’d grabbed Patricia’s wrist as roughly as I could.

A fear unfurled inside me, making me wonder if I was coming apart at the seams. It didn’t matter if they’d deserved my treatment, I couldn’t believe I’d hurt two women in less than a single twenty-four-hour period.

As if reading all the guilt spiraling through me, Reese gripped my arm and then hugged me. “I never meant to bring the wrath of Eva down on you.” She winced apologetically.

Not expecting the contact, my muscles contracted in confused surprise. “You didn’t,” I insisted, afraid to hug her back because I might not ever let her go. “I brought it on myself.”

So she ended up pulling back all on her own to scowl at me. “Just because you had some misguided notion when you were eighteen, thinking you had to do something drastic and unnecessary to save your family, doesn’t mean you deserve to be treated with such constant degradation by every woman who crosses your path.”

Her defense caused a longing ache to tear through me. I had a bad feeling this girl already owned my soul. Spotting a stray piece of silken dark hair that had fallen into her face during her impassioned speech, I reached for it and tucked it safely behind her ear.

“You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met before,” I admitted without meaning to. “Where did you come from, Reese Randall?”

She blinked at me once, obviously not expecting my reaction, then she said, “Ellamore, Illinois.”

I grinned, my chest filling with both joy and pain because I knew this moment couldn’t last. Deciding to make the best of it before it was over, I hauled her back into my arms and hugged her back to me.

I buried my nose in her hair, inhaling her sweet pea scent, even as my fingers wandered, finding the scar on the back of her neck. Then I leaned around to kiss the spot.

“Thank you for being my friend. But Mercer was right. I do know better than to pant after you. You should never have to deal with any of my shit.” I stepped back before picking up the Harry Potter book Eva had tossed to the floor. After grabbing my bag as well, I sent her one last farewell glance. “I’ll see you around.”

Except we both knew I wouldn’t. I was really going to stay away this time.

At least, I hoped I could, even as another part of me cheered for me to fail…again.

Confession #21: So, yeah, I’m never drinking again.

Patricia waited a week after her threat to ruin Reese before she struck again.

It was the Saturday evening after my encounters in the library with Reese, Eva, and Monica. For once, neither Mom nor I had to work, so she, Sarah, and I had landed in the living room after we actually ate a meal together at the dinner table, and we were watching old episodes of Hawaii Five-O, all shows Sarah had already seen and kept trying to give us spoilers to, when my phone sounded from my pocket, alerting me to a new text message.

These days, I didn’t dread the sound as much as I once used to. Before Reese, it usually only meant a client wanted service. But now… Now, sometimes it was Reese sending me a cheerful little note, letting me know we were still friends, even though she blatantly told me I was being an idiot for staying away.

Sarah has been nestled in my arms where we both sat lounging on the couch with our legs stretched out and bare feet resting on the cushions. When she glanced up at me with worry, as if she sensed snuggle time was over, I sent her a reassuring grin and kissed the end of her nose. No client could drag me away from quality time with my mom and sister tonight, and Reese only ever talked, so I didn’t plan on moving a muscle.

Until I read the message.

Landlady: I just learned something very interesting about your little REESE. If you don’t want it exposed to the world, you’ll come over tonight and ask me what my fantasy is.

I snorted and deleted the message. When I tucked the phone back into my pocket, I sent Sarah another reassuring grin and ruffled her hair, letting her know I wasn’t leaving. Her expression relaxed, the worry draining from her eyes, and she settled back against me, just as Mom asked something about the show from her chair across the room.

As Sarah answered, however, my mind shifted back to the message. My initial instinct had been to blow the whole thing off and ignore it. But then I started to worry. I had no idea what Patricia thought she had on Reese. Not a molecule inside me believed it could be that bad, but still… What if it was private to Reese? What if it hurt her if it was exposed? And why had Patricia typed her name in all caps as if that were some kind of clue?

I didn’t know, but my anxiety grew. Patricia sometimes made empty threats. But not always. If she actually knew something that Reese didn’t want publicized, she would share it with the world without a single qualm.

My apprehensions won, and I shifted under Sarah, clutching her waist to lift her off me. “Actually,” I said, wincing in apology, “maybe I do need to go after all.”

“But what about the show?” Sarah said, her eyes begging me to stay.

“I’ll finish it tomorrow, I promise.”

Her gaze filled with disappointed censure. “Before or after my party?”

Shit. That was right. Her big thirteenth birthday party was tomorrow. “Either,” I said. “Both.”

Mom finally glanced over, frowning in confusion. “What’s going on?”

I set my sister back on the couch, trying to arrange her so she’d be just as comfortable as she’d been on me. Glancing distractedly at Mom, I explained, “I got called into work.” When she lifted her eyebrows, I added, “At the Country Club,” so she wouldn’t think I was going to a client.

But she didn’t seem to believe me anyway. Her expression flooded with judgment before she went back to watching the show. “Okay. See you later.”

Sarah focused on the television, moodily refusing to look at me again.

I kissed the top of her head, anyway, promising her again that we’d finish the show tomorrow, then I dashed away. When I pushed through the back door, I glanced toward Patricia’s house. She had the porch light on for me to see my way to her place. Rolling my eyes, I walked right past the gate that led from my backyard to hers. Then I hopped into my Jeep and started the engine, speeding to the apartment Reese was staying in above the Mercer’s garage.

I had to check on her, make sure she was okay. Patricia was malicious enough that she would exact the bad terms in her ultimatum before she even issued them, so she could have her cake and eat it too, just as Monica had done when she’d tricked me into sleeping with her after she’d already told Patricia about Reese’s identity.

But I wasn’t falling for it this time. If she was going to attack Reese, I was going to be with Reese to help her deal with any problems that might arise.

I bounded up the outside steps that led to her door and knocked before I even thought a plan through. A few seconds later, a hesitant voice called through the closed partition.

“Who is it?”

Oh, right. She totally wasn’t expecting me to just show up at her place on a Saturday night. Feeling chagrined, I answered, “It’s Mason.”

I don’t think she actually believed me. A second later, a crack of light appeared in the window blinds, and I saw two familiar blue eyes peer out.

When I waved, the blinds snapped shut, and I heard about three different locking mechanisms grind open.

The door swung in, revealing a backlit silhouette of my Reese, and then her voice followed. “Mason?”

And holy shit, that’s all it took. After trying to keep my distance for so long, seeing her now was like releasing a pressure cooker too fast. All these emotions poured out of me, and I just needed…her. For my own peace of mind.

God, this girl was important to me. How the hell had she managed to get so important to me?

“Can we talk?” I asked, not planning to say that. “I just… I need to talk…to someone.”

Not just someone; I only needed to talk to her. I didn’t even care what we talked about. I just needed to be here, with her, listening to her voice and her laugh and soaking in all the brightness that she shed just by being her.

“Um…” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, only to find a piece of popcorn stuck in the tresses. When she batted it free, I could only smile, because it was such a Reese thing for her to do. “Okay,” she said as if she wasn’t sure if it was really okay or not, even as she stepped back and opened the door wider. “Come on in.”

She might’ve been physically letting me in, but I could tell in her voice she hadn’t wanted to say yes. Feeling like an idiot for only thinking of myself and what I wanted, I stepped back. Lifting a hand, I said, “If this is a bad time, I can leave.”

She rolled her eyes. “Mason, seriously. Get inside now.”

Okay, this time she didn’t sound quite so reluctant. She grabbed my arm and tugged me into the apartment.

And inside I went.

“Rise and shine, sleeping beauty.”

The greeting woke me completely. For a moment, I couldn’t remember falling asleep, what time or day it was, or even where I was. I could tell I was lying sprawled out on my stomach on a bed, my cheek mashed into a pillow that smelled surprising familiar, but it definitely wasn’t my pillow. Light flooded my closed eyelids, telling me it was daytime, or at least well into the morning.

“What the hell?” I croaked, lifting my face to gaze around the minuscule bedroom I was in. I looked in the direction the voice had come from, only to find Reese standing there, holding two to-go cups of her favorite breakfast drink.

“Reese?” I said, growing more confused than ever.

What in God’s name was going on?

“Morning,” she greeted perkily, taking a sip from one of the cups. “So, I went out and bought us some breakfast. There are doughnuts in the front room.” Then she rolled her eyes. “I know, I know. ‘Reese, you’re so amazing and wonderful. Thanks for thinking of me. You shouldn’t have.’ But, really, it’s no problem. Anything for my buddy. So… De nada.”

I blinked, digesting what she said, though it told me nothing of where I was or how I’d gotten here. Glancing around, however, it didn’t take me long to realize I was in her room, in her bed, and that familiar smell surrounding me… That was her scent. The morning light from the window made me wince, my head pounding from… What the hell? Did I have a hangover?

I hadn’t actually drunk alcohol last night, had I? That made no sense. I rarely drank.

But my mouth was dry and nasty enough to think maybe I had. It would certainly explain the memory loss.

“This is your room,” I finally mumbled, my mind moving slowly as if it were trying to work through spun sugar.

“Yep,” she answered.

I nodded and glanced her way. “What am I doing in your bed?”

“You said the couch was too short.”

I frowned, not remembering that at all. I didn’t remember…

Okay, I remembered coming to her apartment last night to check on her after Patricia’s threatening text and Reese letting me inside. Then I think we drank…gin. Yes, gin. And then we ate popcorn as we watched a movie, maybe. Or maybe not. After that…nothing.

I remembered absolutely nothing else.

Oh, God. What was I not remembering? How had I gotten in her bed? What had I done in her bed?

Holding my breath, I dared to ask, “So, did we…?”

Her mouth fell open as if outraged. “Seriously, Mason,” she accused. “How could you forget the magical night we shared together?” She held her cup up to her heart as if clutching the wounded organ. “It was…beautiful.”

Wait. What?

We hadn’t really…?

No. We couldn’t have. We couldn’t do that and I not remember a single moment of it. Karma wouldn’t be that cruel. Except… Yes, yes, it really would.

“Oh, God. We didn’t,” I uttered, devastated that I could remember nothing of our first time together.

“Hey!” Scowling, she flipped me the bird. “You could at least pretend as if the idea of sleeping with me doesn’t completely repulse you. Gah. I thought you were into me at least a little. I mean, what about your stupid horny guy urges and that freebie you said I could have if I just said the word?”

Horror flooded me. “I… God, Reese. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. I just…shit. This was not something I’d want to forget.” Swallowing unsteadily, I ran a hand through my hair, feeling sick. I couldn’t believe we’d actually been together and I didn’t even remember it. Why couldn’t I forget every other woman I’d ever been with and remember only Reese? This was no fucking fair.

“Umm… Was it at least good for you?” I tried, flashing her a guilty, wincing kind of smile.

In answer, she threw back her head and laughed, coughing a little when she choked on her drink. “Wow. Oh my God, wow. You don’t remember anything, do you?”

“No,” I admitted glumly. “Nothing.”

“Well, relax, Casanova,” she reassured me. “Nothing happened.”

But…what? “It didn’t?” So I’d spent the entire night in her bed and nothing happened? Well, that sucked too.

She shook her head. “Nope.”

My brow furrowed because that didn’t make any sense either. “You’re saying I came in here, crawled into bed with you, and I didn’t come onto you at all? Why do I find that impossible to believe?”

She merely shrugged. “You were tanked. You just stumbled into my room, burrowed in beside me, and passed out cold. Oh! And then you hogged three-fourths of the mattress and all the sheets. Which is something you really need to work on, buster, because if you ever plan on getting married one day, no wife is going to appreciate that.”

Leave it to Reese to turn everything into a funny. “I’ll keep that in mind,” I said on a small smile. I watched her standing there, holding two drinks, and I wanted to tell her I wished we had done something together and that I could remember every detail. But that probably wasn’t something I should admit.

My bladder chose that moment to wake up, though, and I decided I should probably get up out of her bed because it smelled too much like her.

“Bathroom?” I asked, feeling awkward about having more questions than answers. Like why the hell I’d drank in the first place.

She pointed. “Right there.”

“Thanks.” I popped up and streaked across the room, surprised to learn I wore nothing but a pair of jockey shorts.

Why had I stripped down to my underwear?

I had a feeling Reese wasn’t telling me quite everything that had happened last night.

I remembered rushing over to check on her after getting that worrisome text from Patricia. But Reese seemed fine this morning, not like any of her dark secrets had been exposed to the world. So why had I stayed?

Probably because I could never resist any chance I got to remain in Reese’s company. It didn’t seem to matter what my intentions were to protect her; I had absolutely no willpower where she was concerned. I had a bad feeling it was probably going to be both our downfalls.

I took my time in the bathroom, washing my face and cupping water in my hands to get a drink. Then I stole some of her ibuprofen and opened the door to find my clothes in a pile on her bed. Then I returned to the bathroom and hastily jerked them on. Except it sucked in there with no space to dress. After banging my knee against the sink and my elbow on a towel rack, I exited to put my shirt on in the bedroom, only to hear Reese talking in the front room. Assuming she was on the phone and worried her call might have something to do with Patricia’s threats, I rushed from her bedroom, still tugging on my shirt, only to find she wasn’t on the phone. She had company.

Shit.

Eva’s mouth dropped open as we made eye contact. Reese tried to act as if nothing were awkward about the moment, but I made it worse when I asked if she knew where my shoes were, because I had no clue. We both tried to ignore Eva glaring at me and crossing her arms over her chest. I asked Reese if she was still coming to my sister’s birthday party later that day, and she reassured me she was. Then she gave me my drink she’d bought me along with my doughnut. I kissed her on the cheek in gratitude.

We successfully ignored her cousin until I tried to leave.

That’s when Eva blocked the doorway with her body and started to bitch me out, telling me how I’d just shattered Reese’s reputation because Alec had seen my Jeep sitting outside Reese’s apartment.

So, yep, everything I’d worried about happening to Reese by simply befriending her was coming true. Patricia was going after her, and people were talking shit about her. Why the hell hadn’t I just listened to myself and stayed away from the beginning? I’d known better. All along, I knew she’d be the one to pay for any kind of relationship we had, no matter how innocent or pure the relationship was. And I’d just… I had risked too much.

As I stood there, feeling like shit with the guilt festering, Reese and Eva started to argue, Reese defending me, and Eva trying to get her to realize she’d be better off far away from me.

Finally giving up on making Reese see sense, Eva whirled to me, snarling, “You. You stay away from Reese. She’s so far out of your league you aren’t fit to lick her shoes. In fact, if you go anywhere near her again, I’m heading straight to the police station and telling them what you are.”

And then Reese’s name would get dragged through the mud, right along with my mom’s and Sarah’s. Paling, I stared at Eva, wondering how serious she was.

“That’s enough,” Reese broke in, nudging Eva out of my way so I’d at least have a clear shot to the exit. Then she touched my arm. “Don’t listen to her. She will not be telling the police anything.”

“I wasn’t—” I started, but she talked over me as she opened the door. “You and I are friends, and we’re going to stay friends.” Then she motioned for me to go, adding, “I’ll see you at two o’clock.”

I stared back, wanting to hug her for sticking with me and believing in me, no matter how foolish it was. All the while, I wondered why she had so much faith in me to begin with. I could only bring her pain. So why did she always defend me? Why in the hell did she even like me?

I wasn’t worthy of this girl.

She devastated me even more by lifting up onto her tiptoes and pressing a quick kiss to my cheek. I turned my face in just enough to make our skin brush for a second longer than necessary, making my heart thump in triple time.

As I left the apartment, I felt different, as if I wasn’t myself any longer but hers, and whatever I did from here on out would be for her.

I was still dazed by that realization when I got home a few minutes later, entering through the back door, only to find my mother in a flurry of activity, already setting up for Sarah’s birthday party that wouldn’t even take place for another five hours.

“I can’t find the paper plates and napkins we bought for today,” she said, sounding harassed. Mentioning nothing about the fact that I’d stayed out all night, she demanded, “Where are the plates and napkins?”

“I put them up in this cabinet,” I answered, moving past her and opening a door to pull down the two grocery bags full of serving-ware we’d bought specifically for Sarah’s party.

When I held them out to my mom, she sniffed at me as if she could smell Reese’s sweet pea scent but she said nothing, only took the bags and inventoried the contents.

“Good, good,” she murmured, nodding and beginning to relax. “I think we have everything. Can you get the punch bowl down, too?”

“Sure.”

I found the bowl and was in the middle of reaching up for it in the highest cabinet when Mom distractedly added, “Oh, and I ran into Mrs. Garrison outside this morning, so I invited her to the party too.”

Forgetting about the bowl, I whirled to my mom. “You did what?”

At my tone, she glanced up, giving me half her attention as she huffed out an exasperated breath. “She’s the landlady, Mason. She caught me when I returned from picking up Sarah’s cake and commented on it, so I had to invite her. I couldn’t be rude.”

“Yes, you could,” I shot back. “I hate that woman. I don’t want her at Sarah’s party. And I’m sure Sarah doesn’t either. She always calls her the cripple.”

I didn’t want her near my sister at all. Or around my mom. Or Reese. Or—

Oh… Shit.

Reese.

Patricia and Reese were going to meet. Today.

Black spots dotted my vision, and a full-body cold panic stole up my legs as I tried to picture the horror of those two meeting, face-to-face. The juices in my gut stirred with unease, and my breathing went all wrong.

Today meant a lot to Sarah. We’d actually invited girls from her class, and she’d been looking forward to it for weeks. Nothing could ruin her special day. But I swear to God, if Patricia Garrison did one thing to hurt Reese or even make her feel remotely uncomfortable, I’d cause a scene in a heartbeat.

Across the table, Mom was going on about how we had to be nice to her because she practically owned us, and we owed a lot to her for letting us stay here a couple years back when we’d been so far behind on our rent.

I just stared at her stonily before finally breaking in with, “Well, she doesn’t own me, and I owe her nothing. I don’t want her here and I guarantee you that Sarah would be perfectly happy, too, if she didn’t show up, so don’t expect me to be hospitable if she actually comes.”

“Mason,” Mom gasped in a horrified, I-can’t-believe-my-kid-is-misbehaving-in-public kind of voice. “That is not the way to—”

“You don’t know her like I do, Mom,” I cut in harshly. “So just trust me when I say we don’t owe her any kindness.”

Whatever she had been planning to tell me froze on her tongue. The look she sent me seemed almost guilty for a second before she cleared her throat and glanced away. That’s when I realized she knew about me and Patricia. A regretful ache tore through me, making me wish I could go back in time and undo so many things I’d done so my own mother wouldn’t have to look away from me in shame. But there was no going back now; my bed was made. I had to figure out a way to get comfortable in it, snuggling with all my demons and regrets.

Lifting her hands, Mom backed away from the table and said, “Okay, fine. Maybe I misspoke, but I can’t retract the invitation now. We’ll just have to figure out how to get through this the best we can.” And she walked out of the room, abandoning me there, just as it felt she’d done for the past two years.

Confession #22: My biggest nightmare was for Reese to meet Patricia.

I think I grew an ulcer in the hours that followed.

I had ignored Patricia’s threat, calling her bluff, and now she was going to be in the same house as Reese. If she really had anything to hurt my girl with, today would be a prime opportunity for her to unleash it. I wanted to warn Reese but I wasn’t sure how. And I didn’t have much time to do it, anyway.

As soon as the birthday girl realized I was home, I became her personal source of entertainment. First, she wanted to watch Hawaii Five-O with me, then read a chapter of the current Harry Potter book we were on, and I couldn’t tell her no; it was her birthday.

After that, it was time to set out last-minute preparations for the party.

Half an hour before go-time, Sarah sat in her chair by the door, eagerly awaiting her first guest. When twenty-five minutes passed with no one ringing the doorbell, her hopeful expression slipped with each click of the minute hand of the clock on the wall, and my helpless frustration morphed more fervently into self-righteous anger.

And then, finally, the first guest arrived at four minutes before two. The next two after that showed up together another minute later, and that was it. Three classmates were all that showed. And they looked like reluctant shows because not a single one of them even bothered to speak to Sarah as their mothers ushered them forcefully through the doorway. One even asked her mom aloud how long they had to wait before they could go.

The good news was that Patricia didn’t show, but then… She was never on time for anything so she probably still had her grand entrance coming.

The bad news was that Reese was absent too. That’s what worried me most. The last thing I thought she’d ever do was let Sarah down on her big day. But when ten minutes after two passed and she still wasn’t here, I started to grow downright pissed at the entire world. Sure, I hadn’t wanted her to meet my landlady but I didn’t want Sarah to suffer either. And not having her favorite babysitter here on her special day would sting…big-time.

Where the hell was she?

Was she okay?

Fuck, was she okay? Had Patricia finally struck? Or did her absence revolve around me? She had seemed sincere when she told me that we were still friends before I’d left her apartment this morning, but what if that had just been a ruse to get me out of there without a fight?

Oh, God, what if I’d done something last night that I couldn’t remember that had actually hurt her?

I was tugging my phone from my pocket to call her when the front door swept open, and there she was. My relief was so visceral that I swear I could suddenly breathe easier.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” she gushed, hurrying inside. “I lost track of time while I was writing a paper for school. I know”—she gave a dramatic bow—“I’m a total geek that way.”

Noticing Sarah’s three classmates who’d been forced to come, she hurried to them, introducing herself. “Hi, I’m Reese. I’m Sarah’s evening sitter.”

And just like that, my relief clicked back into anger. All that worry and fear I’d felt for her, and she’d merely lost track of time? My irritation mounted, and this time it lashed out at her. I knew it was misplaced even as I scowled, watching her make friends with the little brats ignoring my sister, but I couldn’t help it. I just felt helpless and pissed and I needed to direct it somewhere.

She must’ve realized it, though, because as soon as she finally greeted Sarah, she thought up a smooth way to escort me from the room, announcing that we should help my mom set up food in the kitchen before she hooked her arm through mine and physically dragged me up off the loveseat I’d been sitting on.

As soon as we were alone in the hallway, she hissed, “What the hell did I miss?”

“Brilliant idea to invite the classmates,” I growled at her since she’d been the one to suggest it. “They’ve been ignoring her the whole time and won’t even stand on the same side of the room as her.”

Reese merely rolled her eyes. “Well, what did you expect, with you hovering over her like a pissed-off guard dog? I swear, you were foaming at the mouth as you stared at those poor little girls. I’m surprised they haven’t run screaming from the house yet.”

“Poor little girls, my ass,” I snapped. “We invited every brat in her class, and only three of them showed up, the three who openly confessed they were only here because their parents forced them to come. Sarah is crushed.”

Reese opened her mouth to respond, but we’d just reached the kitchen where my mom was rushing around like a frantic, blind chicken. And once again, Reese worked her smooth-magic and got rid of Mom, shooing her from the room with the promise that she and I would finish getting everything ready.

And what did my mother do in reply? She actually thanked her.

“Oh, Reese, you’re a saint. Thank you.”

I rolled my eyes and muttered as soon as she was gone, “Thanks for volunteering me.”

“What?” she gasped before demanding, “What did I do?”

“Where were you?” I finally asked, unable to hold the question in a second longer.

“I told you,” she bit out. “I was at home, writing a paper.” Opening the refrigerator, she found the punch mix and brought it out so she could fill the bowl. “It’s actually a pretty interesting subject for my Brit Lit class. We had to read Chaucer in Middle English, which totally sucked monkey butt, and then translate it into today’s English. But let me tell you, The Canterbury Tales is not just some sweet, innocent fairy tale. I mean, I’m still pissed the rapist ended up in a happily ever after romance, but—”

“I don’t care about your paper, okay,” I exploded. “My sister is about to cry in there. I wanted this to be the best birthday ever, but she hates it.” Plus, Patricia was probably going to burst through the door any moment now.

Reese blinked at me dumbly. “Oh my God, Mason. Breathe. It will be the best birthday party ever. I swear. We just need to get past that first stage of awkwardness and everything will be fine. Trust me.”

I gripped my hair, actually feeling myself lose my cool as she calmly moved from the punch to the cake, cutting it in choppy, uneven rows.

For some reason, watching her horrid cutting skills centered me. It showed me her flaws, her truth. So if she also said to trust her and things would be okay, then that had to be the truth too.

Right?

It was all kinds of wonky reasoning but it worked for me. Letting go of my hair, I clutched the back of a chair, bending slightly at the waist to blow out a long breath. And I relaxed.

“I’m sorry,” I told her. “It’s just… After that thing with Eva this morning, I wasn’t sure if you were going to come at all. Then you were late, and I thought—”

“Hey.” She immediately stopped what she was doing and took my hand, causing me to lift my face and meet her blue, blue eyes. “Don’t worry about Eva, okay? We talked. She isn’t going to go to the police. I swear to you, you don’t have to worry about her.”

“That wasn’t the part I was worried about.” I squeezed her fingers and wished she could just see everything inside me so I wouldn’t have to explain.

She seemed confused a moment before she let out a harassed breath. Rolling her eyes, she promptly smacked me in the side of the arm. “Oh, whatever,” she muttered. “You know you can’t get rid of me that easily. I’m going to be that annoying friend who never leaves you alone.”

“Promise?” I asked, watching her closely.

She winked. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”

I sniffed out my amusement, and the tension in me drained some more. Until I remembered the last reason I was so disjointed. “That’s not all,” I added on a wince. “Mom went and invited our landlady to the party. And she said yes.”

Reese immediately smiled. “Oh, that’s nice,” she started, flopping the first piece of cake ungracefully onto a plate and getting frosting all over her index finger in the process. But a second later, she froze, then looked up at me. “Wait. Is this the same landlady who was your first—?”

Christ, why had I ever told her about that?

Because I was an idiot, that’s why.

When my silent gaze answered her, she winced. “Right.” She drew out the word miserably before lifting her eyebrows. “Well… This should be fun.”

Fun.

Like a proctologist exam, maybe.

“I hate it when she comes over,” I muttered, beginning to pace the kitchen. “She always manages to find a way to corner me somewhere and talk. It makes my skin crawl.”

Reese grabbed my arm, stopping me in my tracks. When I looked into her face though, she was busy frowning at my hair. Reaching up, she smoothed out a piece that must’ve gone wild while I was losing it.

Liking her hands on me, I stood there, letting her do whatever she wanted.

When she was finished, she finally met my gaze. “Do you want me to protect you from the mean old cougar?” she asked a little too seriously.

With a grin, I lowered my face and rested my forehead on her shoulder. “Yes.”

“Done.”

I looked up, only to smile when I caught her licking frosting off the knife. She smiled at me, accidentally smearing a little at the corner of her lip. I couldn’t resist. I reached out, murmuring, “You got a little something.”

I took my time brushing the frosting away and watching her gaze go unfocused before I pulled back and popped the dab of pink buttercream into my mouth. Then she focused on my lips, her attention growing so intense I found myself leaning in until we were only inches apart.

Her eyes lifted to mine, and her throat worked as she swallowed. The temptation was clear on her face, and it ran so thick through my blood, I was a little surprised we weren’t attacking each other already.

Suddenly, she turned away to open the can of mixed nuts. “You know, I might’ve been saving that frosting for later.”

I tried to laugh at her joke, but it didn’t flow out so well. “But you know me,” I retorted. “If you have food on you, I’m bound to steal it.”

“True.” With that, she held out the can, letting me steal my fill.

“See, you do know me.”

“Don’t take them all,” she scolded when my handful grew heaping. “The guests might want some.”

Remembering there were other people in the house—people who were upsetting Sarah, I said, “Those guests better start treating my sister right or they can kiss my ass.”

“Don’t worry,” she assured me once more. “I have a plan for the little children. They’ll be eating out of Sarah’s hand before the end of the day.”

I lifted a suspicious eyebrow. “You’re smiling a bit too evilly right now. I don’t know whether to be awed or scared.”

“Awed,” she said, quickly running her fingers across the stubble of hair on my jaw. “Always be awed by me.”

“I usually am,” I admitted.

My answer seemed to please her; she beamed out a grin that lit up the entire room. Then she sprinkled nuts onto plates with cake on them and added ice cream before piling them in my arms until I held more than I thought I could possibly handle in one trip. But she loaded just as many plates into her own arms, and then sent me a wink. “Let’s go save this birthday party, shall we?”

For the next twenty minutes, that’s exactly what Reese did. She pretty much single-handedly saved Sarah’s party.

She made sure everyone was fed well and she led us in singing the birthday song. Then she sort of steered the conversation and suggested when it was a good time to open presents.

She and I somehow ended up sitting on the loveseat next to each other as Mom helped Sarah open her gifts. Reese and I had coordinated our present buying to go together. I had gotten a charm bracelet, and Reese had gotten a charm to go on it.

But when Sarah got to Reese’s present and unwrapped it, there were actually two more boxes to unwrap inside that.

I leaned close, scowling. “You got her two things?”

Grinning smugly, Reese swept her hair over her shoulder. “Of course.”

I sniffed. “Suck-up.”

“You know it.” She knocked her knee against mine, proud of herself.

I just shook my head. And then I nearly laughed when Mom saw the makeup kit Reese had gotten my sister. I doubt Mom had ever even considered her baby girl growing up enough to wear makeup. The dread in her expression was priceless.

Reese didn’t seem to mind my mom’s reaction though; she just grinned at me as Mom helped Sarah attach her new charm to her bracelet, and she said, “Do we make a good present-giving team or what?”

She offered me a fist bump, which I couldn’t turn down. We’d just knocked our knuckles together when the door flew open and Satan entered…carrying a huge birthday present wrapped in Mickey Mouse paper.

I stopped breathing, not sure what to do. I wanted to stand up, grab Reese, and haul her out of the house. But then, I didn’t want to leave Sarah and Mom behind with Patricia either. The landlady could be perfectly pleasant whenever she was in the mood, but I had no idea if this was going to be one of those days or not.

I found myself watching Reese’s expression as she studied Patricia from head to toe. She probably wasn’t expecting someone who looked so well put together, but Patricia had style, and it seemed to intimidate Reese.

I pressed my knee to hers, trying to get her to look away or at least look at me. I could almost see every thought in her head as she tried to picture me and Patricia together. It made my stomach churn with unease.

I was about to lean in and beg her to stop thinking about it when she actually swayed my way and whispered, “Who’s he?”

Huh? He? With no idea what she was talking about, I turned toward the doorway only to find some guy entering the house behind Patricia as if he were here with her.

“No clue,” I whispered back, furrowing my brow, because seriously, who was this guy?

“Everyone,” Patricia announced. “I’d like you to meet my fiancé, Ted. Ted, this is Dawn. She’s been my tenant for what feels like forever.”

I have no clue what they said after that, my brain was too busy buzzing over the word fiancé.

But fiancé?

No.

No way.

She hadn’t mentioned anything about a fiancé a few days ago when she’d tried to get me to come over. I was so confused. But also relieved. Mostly relieved. If she had that guy to keep her occupied, she wouldn’t have any time to bother me.

I suddenly didn’t care who he was, I didn’t care if the fiancé claim was a complete lie; I just hoped it helped get her off my back.

I turned blindly to Reese, needing to share my relief with someone. “Thank God,” I mouthed.

She snickered and squeezed my knee, only to whisper, “Guess you won’t be needing my protective services today after all.”

“And Reese,” Patricia broke in, dragging her poor fiancé behind her. “I had no idea you’d be here today. Hello, again.”

Wait. What?

Hello again?

Again?

When had they met before? Why did I not know about this?

Reese merely sent her a chipper smile and greeted, “Hey, Mrs. Garrison.”

Patricia didn’t get a chance to introduce me to her fiancé because Mom and Sarah stole her attention by opening the gift Patricia had brought. So I took that moment to lean and whisper to Reese, “You guys have met?”

Reese merely rolled her eyes. “She was outside smoking one night when I got off work… The night Sarah had her seizure, in fact.”

Figured.

She must’ve seen me and Reese in the kitchen together through the back window. No wonder why she’d come in after Reese had left and touched the wall right where we’d been standing. She’d purposely wanted to ruin my special spot.

Just then, Sarah thanked Patricia for the large stuffed bear she’d given her, and Patricia winced, pulling her face away before glancing around at everyone and asking, “What did she say?”

Sarah’s face drained of color, and I wanted to strangle the bitch for humiliating her like that. Yes, my sister might have difficulty talking because of her CP but she was perfectly understandable.

Reese saved the day by dryly answering, “She said thank you,” as if that should’ve been obvious…because it was.

After that, Reese suggested that Sarah and her three classmates put Sarah’s new makeup on each other, so she popped up from the loveseat next to me and went to my sister, taking charge of that activity.

And about as soon as she left, Patricia blew out a breath. “Wow, my feet are just killing me. Do you mind if I sit here?”

And she sank down next to me without waiting for a response.

I sent her a scowl before I commenced to ignore her completely.

Her fiancé or whatever he was, stood awkwardly beside her, because he couldn’t fit on the cushions with us, until Mom seemed to take pity on him and asked him what he did, which left no one paying attention to either Patricia or me, and in turn let her think we should actually talk to each other.

“So… I tried to contact you last night,” she murmured discreetly.

I watched Reese spread a deep purple over Sarah’s eyelids.

“I know you saw the message,” Patricia added.

Blush was dabbled to my sister’s cheeks.

“You can’t ignore me forever.”

Oh, yes, I could.

“Do you even care what your sweet, innocent babysitter is hiding?”

Honestly, I didn’t care what Reese might or might not be hiding. Nothing could make her worse than the woman sitting next to me now. She was bright color in my black and white world, and I’d most likely defend her and stand beside her no matter what she’d done or hadn’t done. She could end up being just as big a prostitute as I was, and I just wouldn’t give a fuck. Reese was still Reese, no matter how her past had played out, and I loved her no matter what.

Shit…

Wait, what had I just said up there in my head?

Patricia sniffed next to me, her gaze on Reese. “She’s quite the attention seeker, isn’t she? Stealing the limelight away from your sister on her birthday.”

This time, I turned to glower at her.

She didn’t have a clue, not a single fucking clue how awesome Reese was for my sister.

Before I could tell her to go to hell and never come back, Sarah and her friends started screaming, hopping up on the cushions as not to touch the floor. Then Reese yelped my name in a panic.

As she cried out for someone to save Sarah, I lurched to my feet, trying to figure out what was causing the uproar, because I couldn’t spot the source of their terror at all.

“What the hell?” I said. “What’s wrong?”

Five females started in at once, telling me something I couldn’t understand but their frantic gestures toward the floor at least directed me where to look.

“Oh,” I said, blowing out a relieved breath when I spotted it. “It’s just a wolf spider.”

Reese gaped at me as if I’d lost my mind. “I wasn’t asking what kind it was,” she screeched in outrage. “Just kill it!”

Wow, she was insistent. And ruthless. But this bloodthirsty, kill-it side was cute. I cracked up. “It’s harmless. Jeez, Reese. I thought you would be more of a humanitarian than this.”

“Not when it comes to gross, hairy, eight-legged freaks. That thing is bigger than me.”

I rolled my eyes. “It is not.”

She drew in a long breath as if she was about to bitch me out for laughing at her fear, which only made her even more adorable, when suddenly she screamed and clutched one of Sarah’s classmates.

“Oh my God! It moved. Kill it, kill it, kill it.”

When Sarah and her friends started shrieking along with her, I finally had mercy—on them, not the spider—and I stomped my foot down, only to lift my shoe, exposing squished arachnid guts.

“Handled,” I reported.

Reese yelled, “Oh my God, thank you.” Then she jumped off the couch and straight into my arms. I wasn’t expecting her to do that, so I had to grapple to catch her before we both crashed to the floor.

Her breasts smashed into my chest and her face was inches from mine when she gave an overly exaggerated sigh and announced, “Mason Lowe,” in a dramatic, falsetto voice, “you’re my hero.”

I chuckled and rolled my eyes, setting her back on the floor before I did something stupid, like kiss her in front of everyone. “You’re such a dork,” I said, loving that feature most about her.

Shaking my head, I smiled, because she was honestly the best thing that had ever happened to me.

Confession #23: I could make myself feel guilty over pretty much anything.

So Reese kept her word and saved the birthday party. Apparently, a little makeup and spider-murder were all thirteen-year-old girls needed to bond. Before the afternoon was over, Sarah’s three classmates seemed to adore her. Reese transformed the kitchen into a dance floor and turned up the music so they could all spin her chair around the linoleum floor.

Reese even managed to get rid of Patricia early. I have no idea what the two said to each other, but Patricia approached Reese in the kitchen, and after they shared a few words, Patricia took off. That was unlike her. I’d never seen anyone make her retreat before.

So, that’s when Reese became my hero.

The only problem with the rest of the party was that Reese took off early too when I wasn’t looking. I was hoping she’d stick around. She was the type to help with cleanup. I thought I’d get to talk to her then and make up for all those weeks I’d stayed away. But she disappeared, and then Mom took off to who-knew-where, so it ended up being just me and Sarah left to pick up the mess.

The next day was Monday. I’d planned to invade Reese’s table at lunch and eat with her, but my U.S. Politics professor had assigned us to fill out some online quiz and turn in our results the next time class met, so I spent my lunch break in the computer lab, figuring out if I leaned more toward imperialism or isolationism, populism or elitism, globalism or nationalism. By the time I finished that, I had to hurry to my last class of the day, then get ready for work at the Country Club right after that.

Tuesday through Thursday pretty much followed the same pattern, which frustrated me to no end. I don’t know what was up with these needy professors, suddenly wanting shit done from us, but I couldn’t wait to spend some time with Reese already. We texted, but it wasn’t the same. I wanted to be able to see her infectious grin and hear her laugh when she said something that amused her.

On Thursday night at the Country Club, I’d just parked a car in the garage and was returning to the valet station to hang up the customer’s keys when someone accosted me from the dark, popping out from the side of the building where he’d been waiting in the shadows for me to exit the garage.

“You lousy son of a bitch,” he growled, surging forward to shove me, making me stumble off-balance and trip away from him.

“What the hell?” I hissed catching myself and straightening into a defensive stance, ready to swing back if the shadow came at me again.

“What the fuck did you do to my mother?”

Wincing through the dark until I figured out who was even talking to me, I groaned when I realized it was only Ethan Riker.

“Jesus Christ, you moron.” I clutched my chest and blew out a relieved breath, straightening and no longer intimidated. “You gave me a heart attack.” Then I realized what he’d just said.

“Wait. I didn’t do anything to your mom. Why?”

I held my breath, worry mounting before he snarled, “Because she tried to kill herself and we had to check her into a mental health unit.”

“Oh, shit,” I breathed, running my hand through my hair and trying not to freak out. “When? Is she okay?”

What day had it been that she’d so insistently tried to get a hold of me?

I’d ignored her, just as her family had always done. Was I to blame for this? Why hadn’t I just answered one stupid text? Amanda was never any problem. It would’ve been nothing to just give her the hug she wanted and listen to her talk.

God dammit.

I’d messed up bad.

In front of me, Ethan ignited. “You have no fucking right to ask me that question.”

I scowled, really disliking this prick. “Believe it or not, your mom is my friend. I can worry about her if I want to. How bad did she hurt herself? Is it life-threatening?”

I couldn’t even imagine what route she’d tried to take. Probably pills. She would’ve been too scared of guns or hangings, and all the blood involved in wrist cutting would turn her stomach. Christ, Amanda, why’d you do it?

Her son rasped out a bitter laugh. “Friends?” he repeated. “You and my mom? Why the hell would my mother befriend someone like you?”

I shrugged. The fuck if I knew.

Ethan snorted. “Then how do you expect me to believe that shit?”

“I don’t know,” I snapped. “The world is full of weird anomalies. I’d never believe someone as nice and sweet and kind as your mother could possibly have such a dick for a son, but here you are, anyway.”

“I broke into her phone,” he growled, stepping close and lowering his voice. “And she left you nineteen messages the night before she overdosed.”

“Fuck,” I said quietly, closing my eyes as regret washed over me. I rubbed my face with my hands, trying to remove the burn of guilt. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I should’ve just answered her.”

“No.” Ethan shoved me hard. “You should’ve never gotten involved with her in the first place. You caused this, you sick prick. She is twice your age.”

“Look, you have this all wrong,” I started.

“I don’t know what kind of lovers’ quarrel you two had—”

“Whoa! No.” I shook my hands insistently. “There was no quarrel. And there certainly wasn’t any lovers’ anything. That is so not what we—”

“You should’ve just kept it in your goddamn pants and never fucked her to begin with,” Ethan went on savagely.

“Well, I didn’t fuck her,” I growled. “So…”

This was irony, right here. There must be dozens of guys out there who could probably legitimately go after me for shit I had done with their mothers, or sisters, or wives, yet the only person who decided to confront me was freaking wrong. How whack was that?

“You…” His voice broke. “You hurt my mom.”

Shame pierced me because he was right about that. I had been one of the only people who’d ever listened to Amanda, and I had let her down. I did feel as if I’d caused this. His mom was hurt because of me.

“I’m sorry,” was all I could think to say, shaking my head as my gut burned. “But maybe she’s in the best place she should be right now. They can help her there. You can’t deny she needed something.”

“Well, she never would’ve needed anything if you’d just fucking stayed away from her.” He shoved me a third time. “I’m going to make you pay for this. I’m going to—”

“Lowe!” the voice of one of my coworker’s called from around the side of the building, “Yo, Lowe, you out here, man?”

Ethan and I both looked toward the direction of the call.

“This isn’t over,” Ethan hissed, backing away. “You’ll pay for this. I’ll hit you where it hurts the most. Mark my words.”

He took off and was jogging away, disappearing into the dark just as Mac rounded the corner. “What…?” He paused in confusion when he found me just standing there.

“Dropped my keys,” I said, thinking quick as I lifted the set in my hand to jingle them. “Just found them.”

“Ah.” He cleared his throat and began to back away. “Well, good. Now, come relieve me. I need to take a piss something fierce.”

I laughed. “No problem.” Slapping him on the side of the arm, I followed him back to the valet station.

I couldn’t help but glance off into the direction that Ethan had run, though. I wasn’t worried about his threats. I think I’d gotten so many threats and blackmail issues lately I was becoming immune to them.

But I was worried about his mom.

I never thought I’d helped her that much by simply spending a few minutes letting her unload her worries and frustrations onto me. It made me wish…

I don’t even know.

It made me realize how powerful a simple kindness like listening to someone could be, though. It also made me want to call Reese and tell her about what had just happened, get her opinion on it. For some reason, I thought she’d know how to handle Riker. Aside from being a dick and clueless about how to deal with his mother, he wasn’t that bad of a guy. He just needed a little guidance.

While Mac was taking his break, I tried Amanda’s phone first. She didn’t answer and I didn’t leave a message. I tried Mental Health next, but, of course, there was no way they would give out any kind of information about their patients. I was just finishing that call when Mac returned from his break, so I couldn’t call Reese after that.

It was late by the time I got off work, so I decided to hold off until the next morning. Except, I slept in, so I decided to just find her on my lunch break and get some feedback then.

By the time I finally approached Reese, however, I was just so happy to see her and get a chance to talk to her again that I’d forgotten everything I’d wanted to discuss the night before.

“Hey.” I plopped my bag onto the bench seat across from her and drew in a deep, giddy breath when I smelled her familiar scent. God, yes. “Sweet pea,” I nearly groaned.

Reese looked up and blinked before smacking a hand to her chest and gasping out fake shock. “What is this?” she said. “You’re sitting with me…in public? Have the horny guy urges subsided then? Have I lost my seductive appeal completely? Say it ain’t so.”

I laughed, missing her sense of humor. “No,” I answered as I sat. “They have not subsided. I’ve simply come to the conclusion we’re going to have to accept that the urges will probably be a permanent facet of our relationship from here on out. And if you say you can control yours, then I’ll try to control mine.”

She sniffed, unimpressed. “Big of you.”

Shaking my head, I continued to chuckle. “That and I can’t see your nose wrinkling from all the way across the courtyard. You have no idea how much I’ve missed that.”

“Yeah, yeah.” She fluttered out an unimpressed hand. “I bet you’re just falling behind in calculus and need my help.”

“Well… Since you mentioned it…” With a shrug, I pulled my calculus book from my bag and flipped it open. Searching for a pencil, I asked, “What’re you feeding me today?”

In answer, she tossed a small bag of chips to me. Sweet.

“Nacho cheese.” I approved. Getting myself a handful, I asked, “Turn in your English paper yet?”

Her eyebrows shot up. “Oh, so you care about my English paper today, huh?”

Oh, damn, I’d forgotten I had snapped at her about that on Sarah’s birthday. “Reese. Come on,” I begged. “I’m sorry I said that to you at the party. I was in a mood.” Setting my hand over my heart, I swore, “I care about everything you do.” And that was the honest-to-God truth.

Reese groaned, probably over the cheesiness of my answer. “Okay, enough already. The bullshit around here is getting too deep to wade through.”

“What?” I yelped. “I’m serious.”

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever. So let me guess. Your landlady thinks you and I are riding the baby-making train together, doesn’t she?”

I sighed, not wanting to discuss Patricia, but when I tried to evade and then downplay the topic, Reese kept at it, guessing and asking what Patricia had said to me when she had sat next to me on the loveseat during the birthday party. I groaned in agony over the whole inquisition.

“Oh my God.” Reese’s eyes widened with worry. “How bad was it?”

“It wasn’t even true,” I argued, “so… Just drop it. Please.”

Yeah, I should’ve known better than to even suggest that. “If it wasn’t true,” she started, “then why can’t you tell—”

“Fine.” Damn. I always gave into her way too easily. “She said you were an attention seeker. Okay? She said you were stealing the limelight away from Sarah on her own birthday, which wasn’t…”

I swear, Reese’s face drained of even more color. She pressed her hand to her chest and asked if she really had stolen all the attention from Sarah.

“No!” I told her unequivocally. “I told you, what she said wasn’t true.”

“But—”

“Listen to me.” I stood and leaned over the table toward her so she would look at nothing but my face and she could see I meant nothing but the truth. “Before you showed up on Sunday, my sister was absolutely miserable. The next morning, she said it was the best birthday she’d ever had. And that was because of you, got it? You made those other girls interact with her. And now, that tall one, Sorcha, she’s even coming back on Saturday afternoon to spend the day with Sarah.”

“Really?” Her face lighting with cheer, Reese bounced on her bench seat. “That’s great. Oh! I liked Sorcha.”

I shook my head and gave her a slight grin. “You are the least selfish person I know.”

“Well…” She cringed guilty. “I can be a little selfish.”

“I don’t see it,” I insisted, shaking my head. “That day in the library, with Dr. Janison and Eva… Every woman treats me that way, Reese. I’m not a person to them. I’m just a good time or something vile to be avoided at all costs. And then you came along and you…you hugged me. You are the first person who sees me, Mason, not sex for sale. And that kind of compassion is not the sign of a selfish person. At all.”

“I…” She seemed to have trouble swallowing. And blinking. “Well, thank you,” she rasped out, meaningfully. “But you are a person, and—”

I lifted my hand to stop her. “We’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you. And you are…you’re…” I paused to shake my head because I wasn’t sure if an amazing enough word had been invented to describe Reese Randall properly.

“I’m…?” she said, looking a little alarmed, as if she thought I might possibly have a single negative thing to say about her.

As if.

“You’re quirky,” I started, loving that most about her. “And yet conventional. Innocent but worldly. Reserved yet outgoing. Candid yet guarded. Trendy but also practical. And childlike while still managing to be mature. It’s like you’re the perfect contradiction.”

With all that said, she just stared at me, like I was some kind of hero, or…or worthy guy, or something. Which I wasn’t.

Feeling suddenly awkward, I thrust a book her way. “Anyway...here. I think I can officially say I’m addicted to Harry Potter. Sarah and I couldn’t wait to borrow The Goblet of Fire. We bought our own copy and started it yesterday.”

Reese’s gaze fell to the book, then back up to me. Suddenly, she cleared her throat. “Wow,” she said, her voice cracking slightly. She swiped at her cheeks as if to dispel tears and then took The Prisoner of Azkaban back. “You and Sarah are just cruising through the series. I’m impressed.”

“That going-back-in-time scene was really cool,” I tried, hoping to bring back her smile somehow. “I couldn’t put it down.”

And there, yes, she smiled and hugged the book to her chest. “It was always one of my favorites too. Especially when they saved Buckbeak.”

“I ended up reading it twice,” I admitted. “Once when I read ahead, and then again when Sarah wanted me to read it with her. Which reminds me…”

I stood and retrieved the trinket I’d been carrying around all week to give to her.

Reese frowned in curiosity and straightened, trying to see what I was holding. “What do you have there?”

I just smiled. “Something for you. I had it made. This guy I know takes an advanced metal crafting class and put it together.”

She sat back, her eyes wide with shock. “You did what?”

I handed it over, feeling suddenly bashful. “I know it’s pretty crude, but I thought it might fit on your charm bracelet.”

She focused on the silver charm in my palm and gasped. It was a small lightning bolt with Harry Potter’s HP logo on it.

“Oh my God.” She accepted it slowly, worshipfully. “This is amazing, Mason.”

“I had one made for Sarah too,” I told her. “Yours was actually the prototype. So I think it might contain a few more mistakes.”

“What mistakes?” she demanded, hooking it to her charm bracelet. “It’s flawless.” Then she held up her arm to show it off. A swell of pride filled me. I liked seeing her wear something I’d given her. “Thank you.”

I opened my mouth to say… Hell, I don’t even know. I just knew this was a big moment and I didn’t want to screw it up. I needed to say something awesome and important.

Except I didn’t get the chance. I was interrupted by a shadow that fell over our table and a voice that said, “Hey.”

Reese and I looked up at the same time, and I was completely boggled to find Ethan Riker standing there, smiling.

Yes, I said he was smiling as if he hadn’t accosted me in the dark last night, pushed me three times, accused me of his mom’s near-death, and then threatened revenge against me.

The worst part was that he wasn’t even smiling at me. His grin was all for Reese.

As she met his gaze, she immediately started to stutter. “Umm. Hi…Ethan. I…I’m not used to seeing you on a Friday.”

Holy shit. Was she blushing?

Why the hell was she blushing?

At Riker?

And how the hell did they even know each other?

In return, he let out a small, perceptive laugh as if he knew the power of his appeal. “I know,” he said conversationally. “But I saw you over here and thought I’d say hi.” Then he finally glanced my way. “Hey, Mason.” Giving a friendly wave, he seemed nothing but congenial and courteous.

What…the…fuck?

“Riker,” I damn near growled, trying to figure out why he was standing there, smiling as if the night before had never happened? And why the hell was he talking to Reese? Like he knew her?

“Oh!” Reese blurted out her surprise. “You two know already each other? Great.” Only she didn’t sound as if she thought it was great. She sounded more like she’d just gotten caught doing something wrong. “That saves me from making introductions because obviously… I forgot to make introductions.”

A nervous laugh bubbled from her, and Riker smiled as if amused. I just gaped at her, wondering, seriously, what the fuck was happening?

She caught my stony stare and instantly sobered.

Then Riker went and dropped the big bomb when he told Reese he couldn’t wait until tomorrow night, right before he asked her where she wanted to go.

I frowned in confusion, glancing back and forth between them, because it sounded a hell of a lot like they were making plans for a date…together.

With me sitting right there between them.

When Reese glanced guiltily my way before answering that she had no idea where she wanted to go, since she wasn’t familiar with the area, my suspicions were confirmed.

She was going out with this dipshit. On a fucking date.

Not sure how to process that, I just watched them as they finished making arrangements. Riker told her he’d see her tomorrow, and then he leaned down to stamp a kiss to her cheek.

She pulled back immediately, obviously surprised by the move, because she murmured, “Whoa,” which told me he’d never done that to her before. The only relish I found from the last thirty seconds was when Riker blushed, embarrassed about getting such a rejection. Then he glanced my way and hurried off.

That’s when his words from the night before echoed through my head.

You’ll pay for this. I’ll hit you where it hurts the most.

I focused on Reese’s flushed face and realized he really had hit me where it would hurt the most. He’d done what I couldn’t do; he’d asked Reese for a date.

And she’d fucking said yes.

Son of a bitch. Was Riker feigning interest in Reese in an attempt to get at me?

I’d kill him.

Confession #24: I might’ve possibly flipped my shit when Reese made her own confession.

“You’re going out with him?” was all I could think to explode. “Tomorrow?”

“Umm…” Reese cringed and guiltily met my gaze. “Yes?”

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

I suddenly couldn’t breathe so well.

If Riker hurt Reese because of me…

Oh, fuck. I’d been so worried about Patricia and watching for an attack from that direction, I hadn’t even thought of Ethan Riker angling to use her.

I was such a fucking idiot.

Reese looked so worried, so guilty, and I wasn’t sure how to handle that. I wanted to reassure her that I wasn’t mad at her—even though, dammit, I was kind of hurt and pissed after watching her make plans with another guy, right fucking in front of me. But I knew she and I couldn’t be together—I was a prostitute—so I fully supported the theory that she should live her life however she wanted, dating whomever she wanted. Except theory and reality were suddenly polar opposites, and this shit just sucked.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked.

“I…” She didn’t know how to answer. That hurt too. She’d purposely been hiding this from me. “Well, for one, I haven’t seen you since Sunday. Then I… I completely forgot about it until he showed up just now, and…” She shrugged. “By then, you already knew.”

“When?” I demanded.

She looked totally confused. “When what?”

“When did he ask you out?”

“Oh. Um…” She spent a moment thinking it through before saying, “Tuesday night. Why?”

Okay, maybe this date thing really didn’t have anything to do with me. Riker had threatened me last night and he’d asked Reese out two days before that. Unless, he’d decided to strike back before even bothering to threaten me. Dammit. I wasn’t sure what his ulterior motive was here. Did he just like her—which wouldn’t be hard to believe since she was amazing—or was he using her to hurt me?

Suddenly, another thought struck me. “I thought you had study group on Tuesday nights.”

She’d purposely not told me about setting up a date with another guy, what else had she kept from me…or straight-up lied about?

Dammit, Riker was already coming between us, making me doubt and question everything.

“I do,” she blurted. “I mean, I did. He’s in my study group.”

I don’t know why that made me flinch, but it did. It just hurt knowing piss-ant Riker shared a class in common with her. And her Tuesday night study groups were for her virology course, which was her major. She and Riker both wanted to go into the medical field together. They already seemed to mesh more than she and I did.

Not that I should even think about a me-and-her scenario because that could never happen. But shit…it was all I ever thought about.

“When the library closed,” Reese went on, explaining everything to me in hyper speed.

“We weren’t finished with our assignment, so he came back to my apartment and we worked on it—”

“He did what?”

Oh, Jesus, he’d been to that cozy little apartment of hers above the garage, the one I’d fantasized about living in with her? The same place where I’d envisioned breaking in every surface and piece of furniture with her? Fuck, what if Riker took her out and it went so well that they had sex on that couch under the blanket she had draped over the backrest? Or in the bed of that little room that smelled so strongly of sweet pea? Or against the kitchen cabinets next to the fruit basket where I’d stolen an apple?

The haunting images struck so fast I felt physically ill.

And why in God’s name had he asked Reese out less than a week after his mother’s suicide attempt? Jesus, what a stellar son he was.

“Hey, what is wrong with you?” Reese asked, looking pissed.

“Oh, I don’t know,” I snarled, unable to stop myself. “Maybe it’s this irresistible urge I have to break Ethan Riker’s face.”

The bastard wanted to steal my happy place from me. He wanted to take away my Reese.

Reese’s mouth gaped open incredulously before she hissed, “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” I shot back, wanting to go find Riker right that moment and do him some serious lasting harm.

I got that his mom was hurt and he was upset, but that did not justify messing with Reese.

“Mason,” she muttered, lowering her voice conspiratorially, “what the hell? It’s not like I have to babysit Sarah that night.”

“This isn’t about Sarah. And you know it.”

Even though most of my anger was directed at Riker, I was still hurt that she’d omitted the details of her date from me.

Tears swam in her eyes before she hoarsely rasped, “You said we were just friends. I thought—”

Oh, God. Now she looked as miserable as I felt. Shit!

“We are.” I had to close my eyes and turn my face away against that depressing reality. “Damn it. We are, but the only reason we’re just friends is because there’s no way we could possibly ever be anything more.”

“You want…” Her eyes went wide, and her voice went hushed before she whispered, “Do you really want more?”

I stared at her, not quite able to believe she’d just asked me that.

The truth was so obvious to me, I figured anyone who’d ever looked at me already knew. Patricia certainly did. Monica knew. Eva knew. Even that fucking prick Riker knew.

“Don’t you?” I whispered back. Then I realized what I’d just asked, and I shook my head, laughing bitterly. “Or is this only sexual attraction for you?”

That would be my luck. I’d been falling for this girl—falling hard and fast—and she just liked my smile or some shit.

But she looked sad when she confessed, “You know it’s not.”

God. Oh, God.

Hearing that was as relieving as it was painful.

“Then why the hell are you so confused about why I’m flying off the handle?” I had to know.

“I don’t know.” She winced. “Because it’s easier to play dumb.”

“Well, you’re not dumb. Don’t play dumb.” Realizing I was only making things worse instead of better, I shoved my calculus book back into my bag to leave.

But that only seemed to panic her. “Mason? What’re you doing? Where are you going?”

“I’m leaving.” Like I should’ve done five minutes ago, as soon as I’d realized she was dating other people. “What does it look like I’m doing?”

I shoved things so haphazardly into my bag that a paper fluttered free and started to blow off across the surface of the table between us. Reese smacked her hand down on top of it, saving it, only to hold it ransom when I went to reach for it.

I sent her an impatient glance, to which she glared right back at me, refusing to give me the page back.

“So if you can’t have me, then I’m not allowed to date anyone? Is that what you’re saying? My God, Mason. Do you realize how much of a douchebag you sound like right now?”

“Yes, damn it!” I exploded. I knew just how wrong I was about everything.

The admission threw her off-balance, and she didn’t have a ready answer.

“I realize exactly what I sound like,” I said. “And I’m trying to stop, Reese. I’m trying here. Jesus, why do you think I’m taking off right now? If I stay, I’m only going to say something worse.”

One of the tears that had been swimming in her eyes finally fell.

It broke me.

“Christ, don’t cry.”

“What do you want me to do?” she sobbed, wiping the tear away. “Do you want me to call it off? Tell him no?”

Surprised I had that kind of power over her, I glanced away, shame covering me like a rash. I didn’t want to ruin her big date. Riker had asked her out before last night; he probably hadn’t even known she and I were friends until today… Even though he hadn’t seemed very surprised or even upset that I’d been sitting at the same table with her, talking to her. So, he had to have known.

Still…

I didn’t want to ruin anything for Reese until I gathered all the facts. Even if the idea of her with anyone else killed me, I would step back and not interfere. Much.

So I shook my head and said, “No. Don’t call it off. I want you to be happy. I’m sorry for being a drama queen. Okay? I want you to have fun with…whomever. Just have fun and be happy. Keep being you.”

That only made her cry more.

I was bombing this. I was bombing it so hard. Needing to flee before I started crying right along with her, I snatched my homework from her hand. “I have to go.” Wiping at my own eyes, I hurried off, running blind.

Reese wanted to date. I could deal with that. She was one of my favorite people on the planet. I wanted her to be happy. I did.

It was just…

I was a selfish bastard.

I wanted her to be happy with me. Not with the moron Riker.

Even though he wasn’t a gigolo and didn’t have a bad reputation.

Plus, the guy loved his mother, even if he sucked at showing her so. And I mean, he sucked bad at it. But he’d warned me away from her twice now because he was worried about her. That had to mean something.

If he hadn’t used Reese to get at me, she would probably be okay with him, better off than she’d ever be with me, anyway.

Damn it.

I entered the main building and veered right, no idea where I was going. I just needed to move, to escape this pressure that was building in my chest. It’d be nice if I could escape who I was altogether, or at least un-make all the mistakes I’d made, but I couldn’t, so I just kept striding along.

Just as I was approaching a T-intersection in the hall and I was trying to decide which way to go from there, left or right—God, I hated being forced to make one drastic decision after another—I heard her voice.

“Mason!”

I slowed on instinct, unable to ignore her, but then I realized… What purpose would another conversation right now serve except to make things worse, to make me want her more and then to just hurt her even harder? The result between us was always going to be the same. We could never happen.

“I can’t believe you just walked away from me like that,” she raged. “We are so not done talking about this.”

Not done?

Not done!

What the fuck was she talking about? We hadn’t even started. We could never start. And that’s what killed me most.

Swallowed up by the agony of it, I snapped, letting it consume me whole.

When I spun to face her, she gasped from the unexpectedness of it. I caught her arm just above the elbow and tugged her through the open doorway of a nearby empty classroom. Once I shut us inside alone, I pressed her back to the door and came in close, snarling in her face.

But the anger died on impact because…holy hell. Being this close flipped my world on its axis. Air hissed from my lungs as we nearly touched chest to chest. I felt her immediate arousal from the primal depths of me, and I knew she’d let me do anything I wanted.

And I did want. I wanted every little piece of her, and every part of me screamed for me to just take it.

That’s why I held back. Her trust scared me senseless, made me feel responsible, like I needed to do the right thing. And fucking her against this door was probably not the right thing, no matter how amazing it might feel.

My body was tense and heavy with need as I groaned out my misery and levered my face over her shoulder so I could thump my forehead to the door. Our cheeks brushed past each other in the process, and she shuddered.

Setting my chin on her shoulder, I spilled out my biggest fears, posing them as accusations.

“Was he in your apartment all night? Did he sleep on your couch? Did he touch you? Did he kiss you?” A harsh breath scraped from me as I reached up to touch the scar on the back of her neck. “Did you tell him the secret behind this?”

She touched my cheek and sobbed out a choked breath. “No. Mason. Stop.”

Lifting my face to meet her gaze, I sucked in a painful breath when I saw how red-rimmed her eyes were.

I’d made her cry. What kind of monster would make such a sweet, quirky, cheerful, optimistic girl like this cry?

“God. Reese, I’m trying to be cool about this. I’m trying not to blow off the handle. And I know I’m failing. But damn…”

I wiped away some wetness from under her eye with my thumb.

“This sucks,” I muttered from clenched teeth. “He can ask you out, and take you to dinner, and try to steal a goodnight kiss. He can go as far into it as you’ll let him take you. And I can’t even compete.”

Her eyes misted even more. When she lifted her hand to touch my cheek, I caught her fingers, stopping her.

“You know, I think I fell for you the moment I heard you laugh across the campus courtyard,” I admitted. “When I looked over and saw you, I knew. You were something different. Something incredible. I knew from that first glance that nothing was ever going to be the same again. You were a complete game changer. Even when I realized you were sitting with Eva and might be like her, I didn’t care. I wanted to know everything about you.”

She gave a tear-filled smile. “And here I thought you hated me from that first glance.”

“I never hated you,” I promised. “You just scared the shit out of me, so I tried to stay away. I was afraid to get to know you because I wanted to so badly. I thought surely you couldn’t be as good as I’d already built you up to be in my head. Except every time I turned around, there you were, and you ended up being better than I ever imagined.”

I have no idea why I was admitting all this. But it just kept bleeding out, like a wound that couldn’t heal. “The more I got to know you, the more I knew I should stay away. I could only hurt you. But I could never quite stay far enough away.”

I sank closer to her until I felt her breath against my mouth, stealing a phantom kiss. I closed my eyes, imagining what it would be like for real, what it’d be like if she were mine.

“Are you still a gigolo?” she asked.

And there it was. Reality.

I pulled back, sucking in a tortured breath. “I’ll always be a gigolo, Reese.”

Her features crumpled. “No.” She shook her head adamantly. “No, I don’t believe that. You can stop. You can—”

“Don’t you get it yet?” I moved back, hating the sudden absence of her body heat even as I craved more space to breathe again. “It doesn’t matter if I stop or not. This stigma, this curse, will never go away. Eighty years from now, people will read my obituary and say, ‘Mason Lowe? Wasn’t he that gigolo?’ God!” I closed my eyes and clutched my hair with both hands. “That even rhymes. They’ll probably make a damn limerick out of me and I’ll become an immortal prostitute.”

Needing to move again, give myself the illusion that I could escape, I started to pace the room.

But Reese caught my arm. “Mason, I don’t care about your reputation. I don’t like your past but I don’t care about that either. All I want to know about is right now. So right now… Are you still having sex with other women?”

I looked at her, debating.

Should I tell her the truth?

If I laid it all out there, told her I couldn’t be with anyone else because all I wanted was her, she might… Fuck, she might accept me as I was and fulfill all my fantasies. We might actually end up together. The mere idea made me lightheaded with a want so strong it scared the fucking shit out of me, which immediately made me want to back away, untrusting it, because the vision was too good, too tempting. It could never happen.

Because in reality, we couldn’t be together. She’d just end up hurt.

She let go of my arm as if she knew she wasn’t going to like my answer right before I said, “Well, I think you do care about my reputation. Ethan Riker is pristine white and you agreed to go on a date with him, didn’t you?”

Frustrated annoyance flared in her eyes as she clenched her teeth. “Mason.”

She tried to reach for me again, but I evaded her. “Don’t. It’s fine, okay. I’m not the type to bring home to your parents. I get it.”

“No, you don’t get it! Just shut up for a second.”

When I did, she took a moment to visibly calm herself before meeting my gaze.

“In the library that day,” she said, “you told Dr. Janison you weren’t scheduling any more clients.”

“Jesus,” I groaned. “Do you have elephant ears? You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

“Well, I did. And it made me think… I thought you were retiring. But then… Then you came to my apartment and started in about almost getting caught by a husband, and I wasn’t sure anymore.”

I’d said what at her apartment? That must’ve been on the night I’d drank too much. Didn’t matter. The important thing here was that my past fibs were finally catching up with me. I closed my eyes and bowed my head. “I lied about the husband. I haven’t… I haven’t taken a client since…”

“Since when?” she prodded.

“It doesn’t matter,” I said, refusing to think about her English professor and the role-play she’d had me act out in that office.

“Yes!” Reese cried. “It does.” When I remained stubbornly quiet, she demanded, “So why did you lie about the husband thing then? What really happened there?”

I cringed, unable to tell her I’d raced over to her place that night because I’d been worried what Patricia might do to her. I didn’t want her worrying in case the landlady was full of hot air.

So I lied again. “Nothing,” I said, glancing away. “I turned down a persistent woman wanting services, and she got nasty, that’s all. She called me… She called me some names. Nothing I hadn’t heard before, but it left me stewing afterward, and I wanted to… I had to… I just needed to see you. I needed to be around someone who didn’t think of me that way.”

When tears filled her eyes, I felt like a cad. “Oh, Mason,” she whispered. “Why didn’t you just tell me the truth?”

Because then you’d know how wrong I really was for you.

I took a step back, guilt nearly suffocating me.

Needing to redeem myself, I gave her one truth. “Because if I’d told you the truth and you knew I’d stopped whoring myself out for money, I was scared you’d let me do things to you that I was dying to do.”

Blinking at me, Reese gripped her head in her hands as if trying to process what I’d said. “Okay, let me get this straight. You stopped your practice because you wanted me, and then you turned around and lied about it, making me think you were still doing it in order to keep me away.”

Yeah, sounded crazy, didn’t it? But that fit, because I’d lost my mind a while ago. “Maybe,” I said.

She scowled at me. “That makes no sense. If you stopped so you could have me, then why did you lie to keep me away?”

“I didn’t stop so I could have you. I know I can never have you.”

“What? Why can’t you ever have me?”

“Because,” I sputtered. “We just went over this. I could never deserve you. You’re too good for me. You’re out of my reach. You’re… You’re Reese Randall.”

“You’re wrong.” She shook her head adamantly. “I’m not. All you have to do is stretch out your hand, Mason.” She patted the center of her chest. “I’m right here.”

Oh, God. I wanted to. I wanted to so bad. But… “I can’t. I’m tainted.”

“No.” She stepped toward me.

Knowing that if she caught me, if she touched me, I’d give in, I darted past her and opened the door of the classroom before glancing back to take in her shocked expression.

“I thought we could just be friends,” I said. “But we can’t. I won’t be sitting with you at lunch anymore. I won’t be doing anything with you anymore. I hope you enjoy your date.”

I left the room, already regretting my decision.

But thinking about everything I’d done to her already, forcing her through my back-and-forth indecision, I knew it was better this way. She’d be much better off with—

Thinking his name seemed to produce Ethan Riker in front of me. He must’ve seen Reese follow me inside the building and then watched us enter the empty classroom together. He leaned against a wall at the other end of the hall, just waiting for us to emerge. When my gaze caught his, he sent me a dirty glare, then pushed away from the wall and stalked off.

I stared after him, wondering what his agenda was. Had he asked Reese out to get at me, or did he genuinely like her and want to date her? It seemed like a strange coincidence that we’d be into the same girl. But then again, this was Reese. Who wouldn’t fall for her?

One thing was for certain. I wasn’t going to let him take out my favorite girl without discovering the truth first.

I hurried after him.

Confession #25: Hey, I had to make sure he wasn’t going to hurt Reese!

Riker didn’t realize I was following him until it was too late. Glancing around when he heard me approaching fast, his eyes went wide a split second before I grabbed a handful of the back of his shirt and propelled him forward—a lot more roughly than I had Reese—into the men’s bathroom.

“What the fuck?” he started, scowling and shoving away from me as soon as I let go of him.

I glanced around to make sure we were alone before I shoved him into the wall. I had let him shove me around plenty when we’d been at the Country Club and I couldn’t shove back without risking my job. So I figured I owed him a couple.

“Just so we’re clear,” I growled into his face, “I never fucked your mother. Ever.”

“Get off me,” he spat, trying to push free, but I was having none of it.

“Not until you listen to me, asshole. She calls me, yes. She asks me to meet her places.”

When his face went pale and he turned away to block me out, I shoved him again, just to get his attention. As soon as he snapped a glare back to me, I added, “And then all she does is talk. Just…talk. Nothing else.” I paused before shrugging. “Well, sometimes she wants a hug.”

He opened his mouth, his face flooding with color, so I pointed at him, quickly explaining, “And when I say hug, I don’t mean some dirty euphemism. I mean a simple, plain, old-fashioned hug.”

Riker scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Whatever. You expect me to believe that bullshit? I know what you are.”

My eyebrows lifted. “Oh, do you? Do you really? Because you obviously don’t even know your own mother. Think about it, brainiac. Do you honestly believe she’s the type of woman to pay some kid her son’s age to have sex with her?”

His face went even redder than it already was. Gritting his teeth, he muttered, “Why would she pick you, though, if talking and hugging was all she was doing? If she wanted to just talk to someone, she has a million friends she could—”

“Oh, you mean, like Darlene?” I cut in, scoffing. “The one who went to your dad and told him everything your mom used to confide to her? Yeah, great friend that one was. Or Georgina, who your dad told your mom she shouldn’t be friends with anymore? Or Paula, who fucked your dad behind your mom’s back?”

Ethan’s mouth fell open. “Paula didn’t…wait! How do you even know those names?”

“Because Amanda told me. She tells me all kinds of shit I never want to hear. But apparently I’m the only person she feels she can confide in, so…” I spread my arms and sniffed bitterly. “Lucky me.”

“Wha…?” Ethan shook his head, at a loss for words. Then he frowned. “But… Why you?” he repeated, beginning to believe me about my relationship with his mom, yet still stumped about the rest.

But I was just as baffled as he was.

With a shrug, I answered as best I could. “I’m not exactly sure. I think she contacted me the first time because… You know… She’d heard the same rumors about me that you had.”

Snorting, Ethan rolled his eyes.

I kept talking. “But then once we actually met, she started talking, like that really fast monologue she gets when she’s nervous.”

He narrowed his eyes and flashed his teeth at me. “It’s not even right that you know about her nervous chatter.”

“And when I actually listened,” I went on, ignoring him, “I guess she…I don’t know…thought I was a good person to talk to from that point on. Fuck, I’m not sure. I just know I wouldn’t have to do any of that if you did it instead.”

Riker’s frown deepened. “Excuse me?”

“I’m not her son. You are. So step up and do your job already, so I don’t have to.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“It means, you idiot, that she’d rather do all this shit with you. Not me. She doesn’t really want to hug me. But she settles for me, because when was the last time you hugged her?” When he just frowned, I shook my head. “When was the last time you had a true legitimate conversation with your mother and listened to her instead of talked at her?”

“I talk to her every damn day,” he cried.

“Talking that didn’t involve you asking her to wash your pants or lecturing her about how much wine she drinks.”

He opened his mouth, only to close it and glare at me.

“That’s what I thought. Start treating her like someone you actually care about, and she’ll forget I even exist. Hell, she’d probably never hurt herself again. She just wants attention. Your attention.”

“But I don’t—” He cut himself off abruptly before flushing and sending me a dirty look as if I’d caused his problems. Then he mumbled, “I don’t know what to say to her.”

Oh, Jesus.

“You don’t have to say anything. Honestly, she likes it better when I just shut up and listen. The woman wants to be understood and accepted for what she is. It’s honestly as simple as that.”

He seemed to contemplate my suggestion, his gaze distant but pensive.

“Now, are you at least starting to believe I’ve never had sex with her?” I asked.

He lifted one shoulder, not meeting my gaze. “I guess.”

“Good.” I shoved him right back into the wall. “Now about Reese.”

His eyes widened as they flew up to meet mine. “What about her?”

“Are you sniffing around her just because of me?”

His expression filled with shocked disgust before he screeched, “What? No! I don’t even know what the fuck that means?”

I narrowed my eyes. “You threatened me last night. You told me you were going to hit me where it hurt the most.”

“Yeah, but that would only work if you…” He started to snort and look away only to pause and swerve his gaze back to me, his eyes widening with realization. “Holy shit, you’re into Reese.”

Wow. I honestly thought he would be brighter than this. The good news, though, was that he hadn’t targeted her to hurt me; he just genuinely liked her.

“Of course I’m into Reese,” I snapped. “You knew I was into Reese. You didn’t seem surprised at all when you moseyed up to our lunch table and gave us both a cheerful little hello.”

“But I thought you two were just friends. She said you were only friends.”

“Hell, yes, we’re friends. That’s all we can be.”

He studied me for a moment, and I must’ve given way too much away in my expression because I could tell he saw more than he should’ve. “You really do like her,” he murmured as if fascinated by that fact. “And yet I’m the one she agreed to go out with.”

Bitterness swelled in my stomach like acid.

“Just don’t treat her like you do your mother,” I warned, pointing a finger at his nose. “Actually listen to her when she talks. It shouldn’t be hard; she’s pretty damn amusing.”

Riker nodded vaguely as if still trying to process everything. Then he lifted his gaze, his expression seeking and earnest. “Okay,” he said. “Anything else?”

Yeah, I wanted to answer, don’t kiss her. Don’t touch her. Don’t even get too close to smell her. And whatever you do, don’t listen to her laugh. Her laughter was mine.

But what I said was, “Don’t hurt her, or I’ll fuck you up.”

Confession #26: Even I was a sucker for those three little words.

I skipped my last class of the day. There was no way I would’ve been able to concentrate through a lecture with thoughts of Reese and Riker floating through my head.

I wondered how much she liked him. Did she really go for the new-age geek type? What did he have that I didn’t? Did it matter? Because the real question was… Could I honestly just stand aside and let some clueless dick take the girl I was crazy about?

Fuck, I was going to have to. She’d made her choice, and it wasn’t me.

I went home and watched Hawaii Five-O with Sarah until I needed to get ready for work. I didn’t want to go to the Country Club either. I just wanted to zone out in front of the television with my sister and pretend the rest of the world didn’t exist, forget I was the kind of person who could never ask Reese out, forget everything I’d ever done, forget what I could never be.

Once I had my brown shoes on and my pale blue collared shirt tucked into my pleated khakis, I sat on the edge of my bed and began to scroll through old messages between Reese and me. I was playing a video she’d sent me of herself on repeat and loving that mischievous twinkle in her eye and quirk in her lips when I felt a presence at the open doorway of my bedroom.

I glanced up, and my breath caught when I saw her there, leaning her cheek against the doorjamb as she watched me watch her on the screen of my phone.

I jumped to my feet. “Reese! What’re you doing here?”

“It’s Friday,” she answered, squinting at me as if confused why I would even ask such a thing. “I always babysit on Friday.”

“Yeah, but...” I usually left before she showed up. Glancing down at my watch, I realized I’d totally lost track of time. “Shit. I’m running late.”

Scrambling to collect my wallet and keys, I put off meeting her gaze until I turned toward the doorway where she blocked the exit.

God, she looked sad. And beautiful.

A glorious kind of maudlin.

“I thought you might like to know,” she said softly, “I canceled my date.”

Oh, fuck. Oh, shit. About a million emotions roared through me. She’d picked me after all. Didn’t mean we could be together, but still… She’d thrown him over for me.

Yet, even as a part of me cheered, thrilled by this news, another part of me grew cold with dread.

I clutched her elbow. “What? I told you that you didn’t have to do that. Why did you cancel? Did he do something to you? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” She blinked at me as if I were crazy for even asking. “I just… I can’t go out with him.”

“You…” Damn, I wanted to kiss her. Or hug her. I wanted to claim her as mine. Unable to help myself, I stepped close. “Why?”

“Now who’s playing dumb?” Averting her gaze, she pulled her elbow free from me.

“Jesus.” Realizing this was not a good thing after all, and she was pissed and blamed me for manipulating her, I spun away and ran my hands through my hair. “I knew I shouldn’t have said anything to you. I swear to God, I’m sorry. I was a jealous tool, and you deserve to date and be happy and…and live your life however you want.”

Or maybe she wasn’t that mad at me, because an instant later, her expression softened and she actually smiled at me as if pleased by my rant.

“Well, thank you, Mason,” she said. “I’m so glad I have your approval to live my life however I want, because I plan to do just that.”

Ah, shit, nope. She was still pissed. I just got hit with the ultimate punch of sarcasm.

When she tried to walk away, I caught her arm.

“Why do I have a bad feeling there’s a hidden agenda behind that statement?” Like she was going to go off and do something just to spite me.

“I don’t know.” Her voice was saccharine sweet and oh-so fake. “Maybe you’re paranoid.”

Worried she might call Riker and set up another date with him after all, I opened my mouth to apologize for being an ass, but she cut in, asking, “Where’s Sarah?”

“Right here.” Sarah rolled her chair into the open doorway of my room, letting me know she’d probably been listening in on our entire conversation. I narrowed my eyes at her, but Reese swept toward her as if the kid were her lifesaver. Neither girl glanced my way as they disappeared down the hall, chatting together.

I guess I’d just been dismissed. I didn’t bother to tell either of them goodbye as I left for work; I just fled out the back door and moodily made my way to my Jeep.

The Country Club was slammed with business the first half of the evening. They hosted a wedding rehearsal dinner that kept me busy with parking cars until about nine, when most of the people cleared out to get an early evening in before their big nuptials the next day.

Three of us valets had been on duty, so we took turns on our supper breaks. I went last. Just as I stepped inside to start my break and head toward the back hall to the employee’s lounge, a voice called, “Mason?”

I glanced over, frowning because it sounded a lot like my boss, Tyler, who should not be here on a Friday night. When I saw that it was him, after all, he beckoned me his way with a flick of his hand. “Would you come to my office, please?”

“Sure.” Not sure what was going on, I followed him down another hall that led to more offices. He seemed grim, which wasn’t like him. Dread cramped my stomach as we reached the door to his domain, and he opened it, ushering me in before him.

The first thing I saw when I entered was Ethan Riker standing next to his father. I pulled up short, wondering what the hell was going on, all the while knowing this would not end well.

“Is this the one?” Mr. Riker asked, glancing meaningfully at his son.

Dropping his face so he wouldn’t meet my gaze, Ethan nodded silently.

“Mason.” Tyler shut the door and sent me a disappointed sigh. “Did you park a car for this young man earlier tonight?”

I blinked at him. Out of all the things I thought they might possibly say, this was not even on the list. “No,” I said, frowning toward Ethan and wondering what the fuck was going on.

He still wouldn’t meet my gaze.

“He was a guest here this evening,” Tyler insisted. “He even has a receipt for the meal he bought.”

“Okay,” I said slowly, wondering why it was important if the dick had eaten here or not. “He didn’t use the valet service then, because I haven’t seen him at all.”

“He says you parked his car for him. At around seven.”

I glanced at Ethan, wondering if maybe he needed me to lie and say I had, to cover for him. I would, if that was what he needed; I felt like I owed the guy one for his mom, and Reese, and everything. But he still wouldn’t look at me, so I couldn’t tell what he was trying to get at here. Since he already had proof that he’d been here, I decided he didn’t need me as an alibi, so I just stuck with the truth, shaking my head. “No,” I said slowly. “I didn’t park anything for him tonight.”

“Oh, so I guess you’re going to claim you didn’t do this to the side of his Range Rover, either?” his dad blustered, shoving his phone in my face to show me the picture of a tan Range Rover with a deep-ass gash running the entire length of the driver’s side.

“Oh, shit.” I winced in sympathy. That was going to cost a pretty penny to repaint.

Suddenly, it struck me what Mr. Riker had just said. My gaze flashed to him. “Wait. Why would I key his car?”

The older man narrowed his eyes, clearly not liking my incredulous tone. “He said you two are fighting over a girl.”

My mouth fell open as I spun toward Ethan. But the cowardly little prick refused to meet my gaze.

I guess he hadn’t been happy when Reese had canceled their date.

Unbelievable. I couldn’t believe I’d actually been willing to stand aside so Reese and this butt licker could be together. And I’d tried to help him deal with his mom too. What a lousy, deceptive motherfucker.

“We’re not fighting over her.”

He finally looked up, and I smirked, letting him know I was fully aware what Reese had done—which to him must’ve meant I’d won.

His eyes widened with crazed vengeance right before he snarled, “Then why did you key my car?”

“I didn’t even know what the fuck you drove until I just saw a picture of your ride, asshole.”

“Hey! Watch how you talk to him.” His dad pointed at me, his gaze stern with warning. He glanced at Tyler. “Look at how disrespectful this piece of shit is to his betters. Are you honestly going to allow this kind of uncouth behavior?”

My eyebrows rose at the word betters. I turned to Tyler as well, curious how he was going to respond.

Wincing, he scratched the back of his neck, clearly not wanting to get involved. But then he sent me a regretful look. “I can’t say I’m happy to hear this, Mason.”

“Neither am I,” I growled, narrowing my eyes on my accusers. “Since it’s a lie.”

“Who do you think you’re calling a liar?” Mr. Riker stepped toward me, his face flaming an angry red. “I ought to teach you a lesson on how to treat your—”

“Whoa, whoa.” Tyler lifted his hands and stepped between us. “It’s okay, sir. I’ll take care of my employee.”

“I want him fired,” Riker demanded even as Tyler shooed him and Ethan both out of the office.

“I know, I know,” Tyler murmured obligingly as he ushered them into the hall. “And I promise to take the appropriate action.” Then he glanced at me and shut the door, muttering, “Dammit.”

I narrowed my eyes as dread pooled in my gut. But what the hell did he mean by appropriate action? He wouldn’t really fire me, would he?

“Ty?” I asked.

He squeezed the bridge of his nose and muttered, “Christ, kid. What am I supposed to do? You’re a good employee: hardworking, prompt, and dependable. You rarely call in sick and you’re always willing to work late. The customers like you, your coworkers like you, I like you. You’re the model valet, and I’d hate to lose you, but dammit…” He hissed out a harassed sigh and ran a hand through his hair. “I can’t let this go unpunished.”

“Yes, you can,” I spat. “Because I didn’t do it. You at least believe me, don’t you? I didn’t see him come through the valet at all. Ask Landon or Marley. And besides, I don’t do underhanded shit like that.”

Tyler sighed again. “Yeah, yeah. You’re not the type to do this. But what’s the story with the girl?”

“She’s my friend,” I admitted. “He asked her out, she said okay, but then today she reneged. He probably thought I’d influenced her into backing out, and he wanted revenge on me. I don’t know. That’s all I can think this must be about. He probably keyed his own car, knowing he could afford to fix it, just to get back at me.”

“Hmm. Maybe,” he allowed with a knowing nod. “The kid did seem like the type to do just that.” He rolled his eyes before slicing a glance my way. “Did you influence her, though?”

“No,” I started adamantly, only to pause and lift one shoulder. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

Tyler smirked. “Good.” He glanced toward the door as if worried the Rikers were listening in on us before he more quietly added, “That douche seems like a total pansy. He needs to hear no every once in a while. Spoiled rich prick.”

I grinned suddenly. “True that.”

We shared a smile, until he cursed and ran his hand through his hair yet again, sending one more scowl toward the closed door. “This doesn’t mean I can let you off the hook though. I’m sorry, kid, but we have a customer’s always right policy. I know you don’t deserve it, but I’m going to have to reprimand you to make them happy.”

Gulping, I met his solemn stare. Dammit. “Are you firing me right now?”

What the hell was I going to do if I was fired? This was currently my only source of income. And I refused to return to the other source. I had some money saved, but I was afraid to dip into it, even though I’d probably have to until I found more work somewhere else. Sarah’s medical bills alone were in the three to four digits every month.

My skin went cold and my palms began to sweat.

“What? No!” Tyler answered, making me blow out a huge breath. No firing. Thank God. “Hell, no,” he added. “But I’m going to have to at least suspend you for a week with no pay and send you home for the rest of the evening.”

Shit.

But I nodded respectfully, knowing I’d only make things worse if I argued with him. I’d seen other employee argue and try to talk their way out of being reprimanded, only to piss him off more and get a harsher punishment. I knew when to keep my mouth shut.

It was nearly impossible to remain quiet though, so I left his office without waiting to be excused.

The Rikers were nowhere to be seen when I opened the door, which was for the best, because I had a bad feeling I would’ve kicked Ethan’s scrawny ass right there in the hall. I escaped out a side door so I wouldn’t have to run into any of my coworkers and explain what had happened.

When I reached my Jeep, I crawled behind the wheel, defeated, and rested my forehead on the steering wheel after I started the engine.

What the fuck was I supposed to do now? Reese was no doubt still at my place with Sarah, where I’d told her I was going to stay away from her. And while it shouldn’t matter that she’d called things off with Riker—because of me—it actually did. A lot.

Since I’d promised myself to keep my distance, I, of course, drove straight to her. The girl just had some kind of crazy power over me. I couldn’t stay away no matter what happened.

I made it home in a strange daze, trying to decide what to say when she asked why I’d come home early. No good excuse came to mind, so by the time I pulled into my driveway, I merely sighed and slumped myself from my Jeep. When I entered the back door, I could hear her melodious voice floating down the hall. I couldn’t make out distinctive words, but from the sound of it, she was reading to my sister again.

I sat at the table and closed my eyes, just listening to her, comforted by the stability her voice brought me. It didn’t seem to matter what I went through, how bizarre or awful my day was, she always seemed to bring me back to an okay place with her laugh and optimism. With her light.

When muffled footsteps echoed down the hall, telling me Sarah was asleep and Reese was approaching, I tensed, needing to see her like I needed my next breath. I bowed my head, trying to put the moment off because I also felt I didn’t deserve any more time with her.

She entered the kitchen and immediately gasped, jerking to a halt and backing into a wall.

“Oh my God. Mason,” she scolded as soon as she was able to talk. “What’re you doing home so early?”

I glanced up from the chair where I sat slouched and sent her a look of utter defeat.

I still had no idea what to say. I couldn’t tell her Riker had tried to get me fired. She’d blame herself. So, I blew out a breath and went for dramatic. “Fate hates me.”

Her brow wrinkled. “Huh?”

I laughed bitterly and shook my head. “I was sent home early and suspended for a week.”

There. At least that was the truth.

Her eyes widened. Pushing away from the wall, she approached me hesitantly, her face plastered with concern. “What happened?”

I snorted and rolled my eyes. “I was freaking distracted and backed into a valet car when I was parking another one. Dinged both of them.” Because I couldn’t look her in the eye as I lied, I dropped my forehead onto the table in front of me and groaned. “I think the only reason my boss didn’t fire me on the spot was because I’m usually a good employee.”

Add a tally to the truth column.

Her expression filled with sad compassion. Hugging her own waist, she said, “I’m so sorry.”

Huh? “For what?” I hadn’t lied to her so she’d end up feeling responsible, anyway. She wasn’t allowed to put this on herself.

She waved her hand. “You know, for causing your distraction.”

“You didn’t. I…” I stood up, determined to put her at ease. “My suspension had nothing to do with you.” Another lie. Total lie. “It was all me. You…you’re not to blame for anything. You’re the good part in all of this.”

Truth. The truths were at least outnumbering the lies, thank God.

I stepped closer, watching her earnestly, needing her to know that she was the best part of everything.

“You’re the warm sun that shines when everything else is dark.” Truth, truth, truth. “A smile and a hug in a roomful of disapproval. You’re…” I cringed knowing I shouldn’t touch her even as I pressed my brow to hers. “You’re everything.”

A tear slipped down her cheek. Then she blurted out a nervous laugh. “I love you, too.”

Confession #26: Did I mention I could make some terrible decisions?

I love you was the very last thing I expected to hear…but maybe the very first I wanted to hear.

Choking on air and trying not to focus on how good those words sounded in my ear, I lifted my face, already shaking my head adamantly. “You… No. You shouldn’t.”

I wasn’t good for her, not the way she was for me.

Hell, I had no idea what she saw in me enough to even want to continue being my friend.

She touched the side of my face, gazing at me with adoration. “But I do.”

I swallowed and closed my eyes.

Don’t do it, don’t do it, I silently commanded, right before I leaned in and pressed my mouth to hers.

An electric current of pure excitement zapped through me as soon as I felt the softness of her lips. Intimidated by the all-consuming experience, I pulled back to check on her and make sure she was okay. Her lashes fluttered open, exposing dazed eyes, clouded with desire, and I lost all my willpower to resist her.

“Sorry, I can’t stop,” I rasped before sealing our mouths together once more.

This was my fantasy, coming true, right here: being with Reese, kissing Reese, listening to Reese tell me she loved me. It had to be a dream.

I deepened the contact, needing more. She wrapped her arms around my waist, pressing her chest against mine, and I stroked my tongue against the roof of her mouth, making her moan.

I think her knees gave out then because she started to sink lower. But I wasn’t finished—not by a long shot. I hoisted her up, and her legs hooked around my hips. When I tried to hold her up against me by catching her tight ass, I lost my balance, and we both tilted sideways until I staggered into the kitchen cabinets and set her on the counter, where I remained slotted between her thighs and could nudge my aching cock more firmly against her warm core.

She gasped into my mouth, and I ran my hands down the back of her neck, over her scar, and along her spine.

Then I cupped her soft breasts as my tongue stroked hers, imagining what it’d be like if all our clothes were gone and I was thrusting deep inside her. I mimicked the action I wanted to perform, and she choked out a surprised sound of need before throwing her head back and cracking it on the cabinets behind us.

Which somehow jarred me back to reality.

I was kissing Reese and dry humping her on my mom’s kitchen counters. What the hell was I doing?

“Shit,” I gasped, breaking away and touching the back of her head where she’d just bumped it, even as I rasped, “We can’t do this.”

Then I rested my face against her shoulder and panted, trying to regain full control of myself.

She merely hugged me as if I hadn’t just totally rejected her. Rubbing my back with soothing circles, she said, “If this is going to be the only time I get to touch you, then can you wait at least a minute longer before coming to your senses?”

I released a shaky laugh. “Okay.”

For her: anything. I looked into her eyes, and they were so freaking blue and so freaking big. They were too tempting.

I attacked, surging in for another kiss. Her sweet mouth molded against mine as she cupped my face. Except she hadn’t told me she wanted this, wanted me: a gigolo.

So for her, I pulled out every ounce of restraint I had left and paused the kiss long enough to mumble, “Okay, we should stop now.” Except my lips brushed past hers again. I ran my fingers up the center of her spine, waiting for her to say yes or no, one way or another. When she didn’t and just let me keep touching her, I groaned. “Reese, we should stop. I need to stop before it’s too late.”

In answer, she placed kiss after kiss along the length of my throat and murmured, “Why?”

Fuck, was that her way of saying yes? I wanted it to be, more than anything. But then I remembered what would be best for her.

With a regretful moan, I cupped her waist one last time and started to tug her off the counter, except her warmth brushed against the front of my jeans, right over my straining zipper, and suddenly my mouth was on her neck, and I was trying to figure out how to get her out of her jeans without pulling away.

She sucked in a harsh breath, and it broke the spell.

“Dammit.” I tore myself away, backing off to put about ten feet of space between us.

Then I turned away to lean my forearms against a wall as I bowed my head.

“Do you realize what you’re doing to me, Reese?” I rasped, thunking my forehead forward against the wall. “Making me choose like this?” I knew it was better if I stayed away but I just couldn’t seem to manage it. She needed to be the one to decide.

“I haven’t made you choose anything,” she cried in exasperation, making me glance over to realize she might’ve interpreted my words completely not the way I’d meant them. “Have you ever once heard me ask you to make any kind of decision?” she growled, narrowing her eyes. “I understand completely why you do this. You don’t have to choose.”

Wait. Did she think I was trying to choose between her and prostitution? That was just crazy.

“Except I already have,” I tried to explain. “I have declined every offer I’ve gotten lately because the only person I want is you.”

Her eyes went hopeful and her throat worked as she swallowed. “S-since when?”

Shit. I couldn’t remember when I’d been in that office with her English professor. But it’d definitely been, “Since the night before we almost kissed in your apartment during Eva’s party,” I said, even though I’m sure it had been longer than that.

Joy lit up her expression. When she stepped toward me, I knew she was going to kiss me. I freaked, wanting her to be sure, because once she decided to be with me, I wasn’t letting her back out. I was keeping her.

“It might not last,” I blurted.

Frowning, she stopped in her tracks. “What do you mean?”

God, why was I trying to talk her out of it? I didn’t want her to reject me. But I did need her to be certain without a single doubt.

“I tried getting out a year ago,” I started. “I refused everyone for four months straight. But it didn’t change how people treated me. Then the bills started piling up. Not as bad as they had been before. But it worried me, made me fear that our lives would plummet again. Then one day, this client got so desperate, she offered me double my price to keep me from refusing. So I agreed. And everyone else began to pay that price. Before I knew it, I was all the way back in again.” I shook my head, revealing an ugly truth I didn’t really want her to see, but knowing she needed to anyway. “I want to say I’ll never go back to it, but… I did before.”

She shook her head as if to reassure me that I wouldn’t do any such thing. But her eyes filled with fear and doubt, the very doubt I needed her not to have.

“I never should’ve told you how I felt,” I rasped, regretfully. “When I learned he was going to take you out, I should’ve just gritted my teeth and kept my mouth shut. At least we’d still be friends.”

She glanced away sadly and shrugged. “But then we never would’ve kissed.”

When she turned back, I smiled softly. “Yeah,” I had to agree. At least I had a memory of how her mouth tasted.

And now, she’d successfully managed to ruin me for every other woman out there.

With a sigh, she came to me and wrapped her arms around my waist, resting her cheek on my shoulder. I exhaled and hugged her back, burying my face in her hair. “You are the most amazing person I’ve ever known,” I confessed. “I love your spunk, your crazy thoughts on life, your caring soul.”

“And I love you…period.”

Warmth filled me. This time, she kissed me, and I was done with resisting.

I kissed her back longingly, claiming what she’d just given me. Sinking my hands into her hair, I tilted her chin up how I needed her for the best access, and we both moaned our pleasure when we hit that sweet spot of perfection.

I couldn’t stop kissing her, she couldn’t seem to stop kissing me. We stroked each other, exploring. Her hair was so silken soft against my fingers, her flesh warm and supple. I could’ve held her all night.

After she slid her hands up under my shirt and palmed my back muscles, she caught the hem of it so she could tug it off completely. I lifted my arms to assist.

Once she had me bare-chested, she sucked in a breath, just staring. “You are so…beautiful.”

I snagged her around the waist, tugging her back to me. “Not nearly as beautiful as you.”

She sighed and closed her eyes, smoothing her fingers up my sides to investigate the dips between my ribs. It felt heavenly.

Finally, someone I wanted to touch me was touching me.

I kissed her closed eyelids, then her cheeks, forehead, and finally her chin, cherishing every sweet inch. As I started down her throat, she skimmed her hands around to the base of my back before slipping her fingers into the waistband of my jeans.

I cupped her face with one hand as she touched me, my other moving up inside her shirt to her bra. When she arched against me, my phone began to ring from my pocket, making me realize where we were and what time it was.

My mom could come home at any moment.

Reese released my ass and guiltily jerked her hands from my pants.

“Shit,” I hissed, closing my eyes briefly as I slid my fingers out from under her shirt and away from her breasts. I watched her face as the backs of my fingers flitted over her abdomen. When she shuddered, letting me know she enjoyed the sensation, I felt settled enough to see who was calling me.

When I looked at the screen, however, all warmth drained from me.

I should’ve ignored it. To this day, I’ll regret taking that call. But I had a bad feeling I needed to know what she had to say, so I turned away from Reese so she couldn’t see my regret as I pressed the phone to my ear and answered without a single greeting.

Patricia’s command was brief but brutal. “Stop fucking her on your mother’s kitchen cabinets and get over here now, or I will destroy her. That’s a promise, Mason. Her very life could be in danger. Hell, you’re putting your sister’s and your mother’s lives in danger by letting this girl into your home.”

Hating that she’d been able to see everything that had just happened between Reese and me, I spun to the kitchen window and jerked the blinds down, making them bounce in righteous indignation from how roughly I’d closed them.

“Whatever,” I growled into the phone before disconnecting and tossing the whole vile piece of plastic onto the counter for daring to deliver such a message to me.

“Dammit.” After kicking the wall, I ran my hand through my hair. Why couldn’t that fucking woman just go away?

Though Patricia’s dramatics were worthy of a big eye-roll, a fissure of fear still cracked open inside me. She definitely knew how to pull out the scare tactics, because nothing alarmed me as much as thinking that Reese was actually in some kind of danger. And what the hell did she mean about Reese risking Mom and Sarah’s lives too?

Reese said nothing, just watched me from knowing eyes.

“We had an audience,” I finally admitted.

“Mrs. Garrison?” she guessed.

I nodded, feeling sick inside. Sick, worthless, and lacking all hope for escape from the things I’d done these last two years. “Apparently, she didn’t like seeing us kiss.”

Fisting her hands at her sides, Reese narrowed her eyes. “Then maybe she shouldn’t have watched.”

I grabbed my shirt from the floor where it had fallen. “I have to go,” I explained, hating that she was seeing this, seeing me being controlled by Patricia. “I got the royal summons from the wicked bitch herself.”

She watched me pull the shirt on and finger-comb my hair before she shook her head and frowned.

“You’re not really going over there, are you?”

“I have to,” I growled. Patricia was going to hurt Reese if I didn’t. And she hadn’t been bluffing this time. I could tell by the tone of her voice. But to the girl in front of me, I said, “She owns this house. She owns my mother, and Sarah, and me. I have to see what she wants.”

What she knew.

I’d been fooling myself these past few weeks, thinking I could be my own person, that I could talk back to her and deny any power she held over me. That woman had my number; when it came down to it, I would still do anything to protect my loved ones.

Besides, Riker had just followed through on his threat to me, and he’d nearly gotten me fired from the Country Club. I’d be stupid to ignore this threat from Patricia right after that.

“She may own this house,” Reese started reasonably, “but she doesn’t own you or your family. You do not have to go over there.”

“I’m just going to see what she wants. That’s all.” I wanted to wince as I uncertainly asked, “Will you be here when I get back?”

She snorted. “Are you on crack? Hell, no, I won’t be here! You know what she wants, Mason. She wants you naked in her bed. If she’d wanted anything else, she would’ve told you over the phone, or better yet, she wouldn’t have interrupted our kiss at all.”

Yeah, well that was the very last thing Patricia would be getting. “I’ll only be gone a few minutes,” I promised. “I won’t even go inside her house.”

Shaking her head, obviously not believing a word I said, Reese turned away. “Fine. Whatever. Go over there. Fuck her. I don’t care. I’m out of here.”

Grabbing her purse off the table, she said nothing else as she stormed toward the back door.

I panicked. “Reese!” Lunging after her, I wrapped my arms around her from behind, knowing without a doubt that she had nothing to worry about. I’d rather be burned alive than touch Patricia Garrison again.

“Don’t leave like this,” I choked out. “Please don’t leave like this. I promise you, I will not sleep with her. I don’t care what she tries to hang over my head. I just want to tell her to leave me alone.”

And figure out a way to protect Reese from whatever Patricia had on her.

But Reese shook her head. “And you could have told her to leave you alone over the phone too.”

My arms tightened around her, unable to let go. “Reese. Please.”

Tipping her head forward as if torn, she said, “You might not have charged me a fee, but kissing you is too big of a price for me. I didn’t sign up for this. Now let me go.”

Fuck. I choked out my denial and then loosened my hold enough that she could push free with ease. Which she did.

And then she was gone.

Yeah, I don't think I want to confess anymore. You can see for yourself what happened next.

Shaky and uncertain that I was really doing the right thing, I blew out a breath and then inhaled slowly, trying to clear my head. Everything inside me wanted me to chase after Reese. Forget Patricia; I wanted to be with Reese.

But I had to make sure Reese was safe first.

I’m not sure how long I took to bolster myself into walking next door, but I finally shook the hesitation and regret from my limbs, left my house, and kept my promise to Reese by remaining outside, just barely easing through the gate that separated my yard from the landlady’s.

Patricia stood at the back door, waiting on me. When she saw me, she held it open, but I shook my head, refusing to move closer.

“Can you make this little talk quick?” I growled. “My sister is home alone.”

Patricia made my skin crawl with the pleasure in her voice as she said, “Well, it looks like you’re already worked up and ready to go, so don’t worry. I doubt it’ll take us long at all.”

“It’s not going to happen,” I promised. “And do you mind never spying on me again? Your rude, creepy vibe just went through the roof.”

She fluttered out a non-concerned shrug, her silhouette showing me that she was wearing a silk robe and little else. “I thought you said the little babysitter was just your friend.”

“And I thought I said it was none of your damn business,” I bit back. “That part’s still true.”

“Tsk, tsk. There’s no reason to be insolent, Mason.”

“Jesus, why do you care if I get a girlfriend or not? What do you care if I have sex with every female in Florida? You’re the one who sent me to other women in the first place.”

“But, darling, sex is not the problem. Everything would’ve been perfectly fine if you’d only screwed her and moved on. It’s you falling in love with her that’s the problem. Because once you fall in love, you’ll want to be all monogamous or some such horseshit. I know you, you will. And judging by the way you look at her, you already have. But I can’t allow it. I can’t allow some silly little twit cheerleader of a girl to play havoc on my extracurricular activities. I’m not finished with you yet.”

“Well, I assumed you were. You brought your fiancé over to Sarah’s party and paraded him around in front of my mother like you were taunting her for not having her own man. You don’t need me anymore.”

“Mason, Mason, Mason, you poor deluded boy. You couldn’t be further from the truth. Ted is a dear, sweet man. Rich, charming, handsome. In fact, I will love being married to him.”

“Then you probably shouldn’t cheat on him,” I snarled, tempted to turn away and leave this stupid conversation where it was; we were repeating old arguments and getting nowhere, and it was aggravating as hell. But I knew she hadn’t played her ace yet. I had to learn what she had against Reese.

“But, sweetie. I won’t be able to help it. He just doesn’t do it for me in the bedroom. Not the way I’ve trained you to. I need you more than you realize.”

“Well, that’s too bad, because I’m never touching you again. We haven’t been behind on our rent in over a year.”

She hummed out a sympathetic sound as if she felt concerned for me. “Well… With inflation and the economy the way it is, I’m afraid I might have to raise your rent.”

“I don’t care,” I hissed. “We’ll pay it. Whatever it is. And if it gets too ridiculous, we’ll just move. You have no hold over me whatsoever.”

Patricia chuckled softly.

“Is that so?” she murmured. “And what if I called a certain police officer I know to tell him about an illegal prostitution scandal going on over at the Country Club?”

“Go ahead,” I challenged, beginning to wonder if she had any troublesome information about Reese at all. Had she just played me? Again? “I don’t give a damn. I’ve already stopped taking clients anyway. No one is going to arrest me for speculation and since I’m finished, no one can catch me in the act.”

“Wow, you think you have it all figured out, don’t you?” She shook her head slowly.

“Yeah, for once, I do. Now when are you going to get it through your thick head that it’s over? I will never have sex with you again. There’s nothing you can say or do to get me to walk back into your house.”

I knew that would get her to reveal anything she had if she did in fact have something.

And here it came.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she said, sounding way too pleased with herself. “Really. Because I was just about to tell you I know your girlfriend’s little secret.”

I shook my head, unable to believe Reese could have that bad of a secret.

“What the hell are you talking about?” I said, encouraging Patricia to just spill it already.

“Nothing, really,” she murmured, still stalling. “I mean, I’m sure she’s told you all about Teresa Margaret Nolan. Hasn’t she?”

I tilted my head, never having heard the name before. “Who?”

“Oh, Mason.” Patricia tsked, sounding wickedly delighted to reveal, “Didn’t she ever tell you her real name? That concerns me. It doesn’t sound as if there’s enough trust and honesty in your sweet little monogamous relationship if the girl hasn’t even told you she legally changed her name to Reese Alison Randall just a few short months ago. I mean, not that I blame her. If my ex-boyfriend tried to kill me and promised he’d finish the job the next time he saw me, well, I’d probably run halfway across the country and change my name too.”

Oh, shit.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

I’d known Reese’d had a bad past because of some guy; she’d admitted as much, but it all started to make sense. The scar on the back of her neck, the way she’d jump at shadows sometimes, the reason she came all the way here from Illinois in the first place. Waterford wasn’t exactly a reputable Ivy League university. It wasn’t on the coast. There was nothing spectacular about it at all.

“No,” I whispered, anyway, not wanting to learn what kind of horrors my girl had survived. I shook my head, my limbs going cold with dread.

“You think I’m making this up?” Patricia taunted. “He cut her. With a knife. It was actually life threatening; she was in the hospital for over a week. I’m sure you’ve seen the scar. It’s somewhere on her neck, I believe.”

“Oh, God,” I uttered, hating how much she knew, even as I asked, “What happened?”

Patricia simpered, sympathetically. “Your girl has quite the taste in boys, let me tell you. It was nasty. Nasty business indeed. I guess they were high school sweethearts, and all was well with that until he started to get a little too controlling for her taste. The first time she tried to break up with him, her sophomore year, he dislocated her jaw. The second time, during her senior year, he broke her arm…after pushing her down a flight of stairs.”

Shit. Reese had said she hadn’t played basketball her senior year because of a broken arm. I clutched the gate to support myself, picturing Reese unconscious and mangled at the bottom of a stairwell.

“That’s when she finally decided enough was enough,” Patricia went on. “But he still refused to take no for an answer. He stalked her and harassed her for months after she dumped him until he broke into her parents’ house to kill her. And he nearly succeeded.”

“Jesus,” I rasped.

Not Reese, I wanted to say. Not my sweet, cheerful, amazing Reese. What kind of monster would do that to her?

“Miss Teresa missed her high school graduation because she was in the hospital. And her naughty boyfriend got out on bail almost immediately. So she skipped town with a new name. And since the case against him was dropped, Mr. Jeremy Walden has been completely pardoned. Ergo, he started looking for her. Her parents’ home was broken into last week. I’ll give you three guesses who I think did it.”

“Did he find anything?” I asked, unable to help myself.

Patricia shrugged. “It’s hard to say, though I will tell you, that boy will do anything, anything, to get his Reese’s Pieces back. Just think, Mason. If he almost killed her when he was in love with her and wanted to rekindle their relationship, what will he do this time, now that he wants revenge? Wouldn’t it be awful—simply horrible—if someone accidently leaked her whereabouts?”

Next to me, the gate waved as if it had gone unsteady with fear as well.

“You wouldn’t,” I said, putting a load of warning in my tone.

“Of course I wouldn’t, sweetheart,” Patricia agreed fakely. “I would never do anything to upset you. Not when you’re going to give me what I want.” Her tone changed from cajoling to severe. “Right?”

“No!” a voice cried from the other side of the gate right before Reese shoved it open and came tumbling into Patricia’s backyard.

Shit. Oh, shit. Why was she here?

“Reese?” I caught her elbow and pulled her close, wrapping my arms around her, grateful she’d survived the monster who’d hurt her, glad she was alive and okay, and yet devastated she was here, hearing all this. “Christ. What’re you doing here?”

Latching onto me, she cried into my chest. “You said it yourself, my curiosity has no filter. I had to know if you were really going to go to her.”

“Dammit.” I squeezed my eyes shut and stroked her silken hair. “How much did you hear?”

“All of it.” She looked up at me, the tears on her cheeks glistening in the moonlight. “You can’t sleep with her.” Her fingers curled around my shirt. “You told her no. That should be enough. She’s blackmailing you. What she’s doing is…it’s demented. It’s a violation of you in the most personal, private, vile way imaginable. I refuse to just stand here and let you fall for this, especially because of me.”

I just held her, saying nothing. When she trembled in my arms, I knew what I had to do. I pictured her trembling exactly like this, scared and fearing for her life because of that monster who’d tried to kill her. No way was I going to let her go through that again, not if I could help it. I’d do anything for Reese.

She wasn’t going to like this—hell, I wasn’t going to like it—but I cupped her face and eased back enough to read her expression.

“Is it true?” I asked, even though I already knew it was.

She sniffed and her tears thickened. “Yes. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I should’ve told you sooner, but—”

“Shh. It’s okay. It’s all right.” I pressed my mouth to her brow and wiped at her wet cheeks with my thumbs. Then I found her scar to remind myself why I was doing this. She sobbed out a dry heave and clutched me tighter.

“I swear, Reese,” I told her. “I’ll never let him find you. He won’t ever hurt you again.”

Then I dropped my hand from her and took a significant step back.

“Mason.” She reached out, but I spun away, evading her grasp.

Patricia waited in the doorway, the sight of her robe sliding off one shoulder making me feel sick to my stomach. She looked so smug as I stepped up onto the back porch that I took the perverse and trite pleasure of purposely knocking my shoulder against her and unbalancing her as I stepped past her, entering the house.

From that point on, my brain went blank. On autopilot, I crossed through her laundry room and then strode into her kitchen. Limbs numb, heart pounding, throat constricting, I couldn’t believe I was doing this. The one thing I swore I’d never do, yet here I was in the devil’s den, about to do it.

Just as I swore to myself I’d stay away from Reese, I couldn’t keep my word on this promise either, and I felt like shit.

I kept repeating in my head that it would keep Reese safe, but that didn’t help. Nothing helped.

Patricia had always been my most dreaded client. She and I had totally different taste when it came to sex.

She liked restraints and control games, calculating wordplay, and merciless punishments, not to mention her fixation of sticking unnatural objects in orifices they didn’t belong. I didn’t care what kinds of kink people got into in the privacy of their own home, but that didn’t necessarily mean they were things I liked doing too.

I think that’s why she was so fond of forcing me to do them, because she knew I never had fun, and that control of getting me where she wanted me was like a high to her.

God only knew what she wanted me to do tonight.

I went straight to her bedroom, rolling my eyes when I found it lit with candles, and the sheets on the bed pulled back neatly. None of her toys were out, however, so that was a good sign.

I fisted my hands at my sides and tried to control my heart rate as I remembered all the times I’d told myself I would never step foot into this room again. All my nightmares had originated in this place. Why was I back here? How had she maneuvered me right where she wanted me?

A cold sweat trailed down my spine. My vision went blurry, the edges fading to black until I blinked repeatedly, trying to see better. My heart wouldn’t stop beating out of rhythm, letting me know my body was going into distress, believing I was being threatened and endangered. I wasn’t sure if I was about to have a panic attack or a straight-up heart attack. I kept battling the flight-or-fight instinct to either run out of there or start swinging, punching walls, mirrors, or even Patricia herself as she stepped into the room, smiling victoriously at me.

Fuck, I couldn’t believe I was doing this.

My equilibrium went wonky. Vaguely, I knew I’d just lost Reese; half my soul felt ripped out of my chest from that realization alone, but I swear the other half was going to wither and die the moment this woman touched me.

“Damn, I’ve missed seeing you standing in my room just like this.”

I rolled my eyes, not moving a muscle except to bunch my jaw and brace against her touch when she started toward me.

“So, now would be my turn to say I told you so,” she sang softly, crowing over her win as she trailed her fingers across my shoulders when she walked a slow circle around me. I gagged and swallowed down the taste of bile. Stopping directly behind me, she stretched up on her toes and whispered into my ear, “I told you that you’d see the inside of this room again.”

I shuddered in disgust, my stomach revolting at her words.

She chuckled and stopped once she was standing in front of me again.

“The shirt.” She made a motion with her index finger. “Take it off.”

I shot her a look to kill, my hands fisting at my sides. She arched her brows meaningfully. “Unless you’ve changed your mind. I’m sure Teresa’s boyfriend would just love to get a call from me.”

I wanted to snarl at her and command her not to call Reese that. Teresa. It was still unreal to learn she had a completely different name.

“Let’s just get this over with,” I muttered, eyeing the door with a longing glance.

“Oh, I don’t think so.” She caught my chin and yanked my face around, forcing me to look her in the eye and take in her narrowed glare and pinched lips. “I have you right where I want you; we’re taking our time and lasting the entire night.” Her lips spread with pleasure. “Remember that time I kept you tied to my bed until dawn so I could climb on and ride you whenever I wanted?”

Dread curled down my spine.

No. Not again.

Swallowing a hard knot in my throat, I ripped off my shirt. In the past, she’d only used her restraint system as a form of punishment. If I complied and did everything she wanted, I’d get out of here faster.

She laughed smugly at my sudden obedience. Not moving an inch as she stepped close to trace the slopes and dips of my pecs and abs, I closed my eyes as she bragged, “I was the first to ever touch these.” Her expression momentarily screwed into a grimace when she focused on my tattoo that said, Make Me. But just as quickly, she ignored it and carried on. “You’ll never be able to escape the fact that I came first. I own you like no one else does.”

Fuck you, I screamed silently inside my head, just barely keeping myself from saying it out loud. She couldn’t own me. She didn’t even know me.

Feeling as if I were being smeared with depravity every place she got me, I glanced up at the ceiling and gritted my teeth when she leaned forward and pressed her mouth to my chest. When I didn’t react enough for her pleasure, she bit me, making me flinch. Then she sucked at my flesh, marking me, marring me with her filth, and crumbling my soul to ash within her wicked grip.

This was what I was, a dirty toy for dirty women to play with.

I’d tried to escape it, but it was a futile effort. I’d always be a second-rate human, good for nothing but rich bitches to control. I’d gained nothing. I hadn’t grown up at all or learned any lessons. I was just the stupid, naïve kid whose yard she’d walked into two years ago before she’d convinced me to fuck her.

I felt sick to my stomach. A cold sweat covered my skin. Why the hell was I doing this again? To help Reese? Except doing this exact same thing with Monica hadn’t helped Reese at all, had it? Would it really protect her this time either?

I didn’t know, but I was too scared to take the chance.

Closing my eyes, I tried to go to my happy place, to block out what was happening when Patricia reached between my legs and grabbed me roughly through my jeans. But all I saw in my happy place was Reese, and pain squeezed tightly around my chest.

Her voice echoed through my head. The light is inside you, she’d told Sarah, not anywhere else. No one else can really make you happy but you. You just have to remember to turn on that place inside you that makes you glow, and you’ll make it through any hard time that comes at you.

Come on, come on, come on, I begged my inner light. Turn the fuck on already so I can see what to do. Sleeping with this woman didn’t feel right. But leaving Reese vulnerable felt worse. No matter what I did, it’d be wrong. Why wasn’t there a right side to any of this?

Then do what you WANT to do, a little voice inside me said. If you’re fucked either way and no way feels right, why be fucked and miserable?

Jesus. That realization felt so logical and right that I opened my eyes, feeling my inner light finally click on. I looked down at the woman in front of me who was unzipping my pants.

And I caught her wrist, stopping her.

She looked up at me, her robe falling open to reveal the pure white teddy she wore. “Ask me,” she commanded, her voice filled with triumph.

This was where I was supposed to ask her what her fantasy was.

But the only thing I said was, “Fuck you.”

Then I spit in her face, making her screech out a strangled gasp of surprise, before I snatched up my shirt and walked out of her bedroom, leaving her sputtering behind me.

“Mason!” Patricia finally managed to screech by the time I was halfway down the hall.

“I changed my mind,” I called over my shoulder, tugging the shirt on and not stopping, not even slowing down. “I love Reese, and she is the only person allowed to do that to me.”

I felt free as I yelled it, relieved I was finally breaking loose from this cage.

“But…” She raced after me. “I’ll call him. I swear to God, I’ll call him right now. Do you want your Reese to die? Is that it?”

“If anyone touches her, I’ll kill him. Then I’ll come back and I’ll kill you.” I’d just reached the back door when I paused and glanced back. Making sure she knew I meant every word, I said, “Is that what you want, Patricia? Because that’s what I’d rather do than play your trite little games again. And I will. I’ll kill you first. I know just the place to hide your body where no one will ever find it.”

For my first death threat, I gotta say, it came out pretty damn badass. That might’ve been because I felt the words from the depths of my bones. In that moment, I’d rather strangle her to death than feel her creepy hands on my skin again. That was the kind of person she’d turned me into.

Her mouth fell open; I’d finally managed to shock her.

Good.

We were done here.

I left her house at a jog, hurrying to my own back door through the warm, muggy night.

That’s when reality took root. And shit, shit, shit. My knees began to tremble with the realization of what I’d just done. I’d just stood up to Patricia and spat in her face. “Holy shit,” I uttered in a shaky voice. Fear welled—what would I do if she went after Reese for this?

But how could I fuck her if I went back over there? I couldn’t, that’s just all there was to it. So, fuck no. I wasn’t going back over there. What was done was done, and I had to deal with the repercussions.

First order of business was a shower to remove the vile impression her touch had left on me. Then I had to get my mother home as soon as possible so she could stay with Sarah and I could track Reese down to make sure she wasn’t left alone, in case her ex showed up.

Reese.

God, what was I going to tell Reese? Or Teresa, or whoever she was. Maybe she’d be happy that I hadn’t slept with Patricia. She definitely hadn’t wanted me to. Or maybe she’d be pissed. What if she thought I didn’t care enough about her safety since I’d just left her exposed and in danger? What if she hated me? Or what if she forgave me yet was still scared out of her mind that he’d find her now? She’d gone to all the trouble of changing her name and moving halfway across the country to escape him. Of course she’d be freaked about the possibility that he might now find her…because of me.

What the fuck was I supposed to tell her…if she even opened her door to me in the first place?

I didn’t know. I honestly had no clue.

But then I realized I had to decide pretty damn quickly because as soon as I entered my own kitchen, there she was, sitting at the table, weeping openly.

I jerked to a halt, gaping at her. She looked crushed, and I’d caused that.

She stood up, holding herself, appearing nothing like the bright, confident, perky woman I’d come to know these past few months. “Are you… Is it done?” she asked hesitantly, blinking through her tears.

“Reese?” was all I could manage to say. “What’re you doing here?” I’d planned to track her down anyway, but I hadn’t practiced what to say yet.

“S-Sarah…” She hiccupped a sob, making me wince. “Sarah was home alone.”

I shook my head and realized I couldn’t tell her the truth. She was already upset, I didn’t want to pile more on her; I didn’t want her afraid and constantly worried about him showing up. And besides, it was best that she saw me like this, thinking I’d gone through with it, because this was my ultimate truth.

I was that guy, the one who’d taken money for sex. I could never change that. And she needed to see it, experience it fully. If we ever had a future together, she’d have to accept the fact of what I’d been. And this was the quickest, most brutal way to accomplish that.

“Christ.” I covered my face with both hands, a hoarse moan of agony bleeding from my lungs. This was the moment of truth. She’d leave me or accept it. It was the most frightening moment of my life, because I was certain I’d never see her again.

But instead of running off, what she did was trip forward as if seeking me for comfort.

She thought I’d just fucked another woman and she was still coming to me. Patricia had just touched me with her vile hands and now Reese wanted to touch me. I couldn’t handle that. I didn’t deserve it.

I jerked back, glancing away guiltily. “Don’t. I’m not clean.”

She shuddered and sniffed, brokenhearted but tried to hug me again. I loved that as much as I wanted her to stop. She needed a good, clean boy who was worthy of her. Not me.

Holding up both hands, I hissed, “Stop! Jesus, Reese. This is why we’re supposed to be just friends. This is why…God damn it!” I cupped her cheek in one hand, taking in her swollen, tear-stained eyes and red nose. I had destroyed her. “Look what I did to you. This is exactly what I wanted to avoid. I never wanted to hurt you. I would give anything to keep this from you.”

She clutched the front of my shirt frantically. “Then let me help you.”

“How?” I shook my head unable to see how we could ever fix any of this.

At first, she looked lost, as if our problems were too big to conquer, but then a mien of pure stubborn determination and steely resolve filled her expression.

“Do you want to be clean?” she asked, wiping her wet eyes and metaphorically pulling on her get-to-work panties to fix what was broken.

I loved her tenacity, but honestly I saw no way to get around what I’d done; I had become a male escort long before I’d met her, and that’s what had destroyed any future we could ever have.

But I said, “Yes,” anyway, because I still had some hope inside me, praying that she might want to stay with my after all this.

“Then I’ll clean you,” she answered on a smart nod as if it were as simple as that.

She took my hand and led me to the back bathroom, the one where the doorknob was still broken because I’d never gotten around to fixing it.

But that didn’t deter her either. She merely shut the door, closing us into the snug bathroom alone together, and then she picked up the wire toilet paper bin only to plunk it in front of the door, just under the knob to keep it shut.

I blinked, stunned by her ingenuity. “What a good idea,” I murmured in a daze. “Why hadn’t I ever thought to do that?”

She looked up and actually smiled. “Because you need me around to show you the right way.”

A truer sentence had never been spoken. I’d needed her around in order to get a different perspective on things, a fresh outlook. She probably could’ve gotten me out of all kinds of shit I’d gotten myself tangled in, come up with escape plans that had never even occurred to me.

Wincing, I wished I’d gone to her with more problems instead of trying to fix them all in my own stupid, bumbling way.

“I should’ve listened to you,” I croaked. “I shouldn’t have gone over there. I shouldn’t have—”

“Shh.” Nodding to me as if asking me to trust her, she reached for my shirt and slowly began to draw it up. “No more regrets. What’s done is done, and we’re not going to think about it again.”

I lifted my arms for her, trusting her implicitly, even as I asked, “What’re you doing?”

“I’m giving you a shower. I told you I was going to clean you, and—”

She cut off abruptly, staring at my chest as she exposed it, her gaze wide with horror.

“What?” Frowning, I looked down to see the hickey Patricia had given me, the red spot still bright and swollen on my upper right pec. Gagging at the sight, I slapped my hand over it to hide it as I looked up at Reese.

I wanted to tell her it was okay, nothing more than this had happened, but by this point, would she even believe me? She’d just stared at a very real piece of evidence that said something most definitely had happened.

God, had I just lost my chance to tell her the truth?

Panic overwhelmed me. I turned away and dropped to my knees, emptying my stomach into the toilet. As my guts heaved, Reese filled a cup of water for me and she silently handed it over as soon as I sat back on my haunches, finished. In her other hand, she held a toothbrush with toothpaste on it.

She was seriously a goddess.

“Thank you,” I mumbled humbly.

As I rinsed and brushed my teeth, holding my arm over the hickey the entire time to hide it, Reese murmured, “I’ll get your shower water warm.”

I glanced at her as she opened the shower stall door.

“Are you really going to stay in here while I shower?” I asked, blinking at her.

She started the water. “I said I was going to clean you.”

Water splattered her arms as she adjusted the temperature.

Not wanting her to leave, anyway, I shrugged and dropped my pants. Then I stepped out of my jockey shorts.

Once she was satisfied with her shower preparations, she met my gaze, looking straight into my eyes. Her gaze never once strayed down. “I suppose I can let you do this part by yourself.”

I studied her eyes, not sure what was happening here, what she was thinking, what she needed from me. She was being nice—too nice. I didn’t deserve it. But I found that it was the only thing I needed right now. Maybe, for her own reasons, she needed it too.

I nodded my thanks and stepped into the shower, shutting the door and immediately setting to work scrubbing my right pec clean.

I cleaned everything Patricia had touched about five times, and everything else twice. By the time I finished and turned the water off, opening the door, Reese was sitting on the closed toilet seat, waiting with a change of clean clothes for me.

I blinked at her as she handed me a towel.

Maybe she was in shock. I don’t know, but this oddly sweet, and almost subservient, behavior was beginning to concern me. Just how much had I broken her?

“Thank you,” I murmured again, taking the towel and briskly drying myself. Then I wrapped the terry cloth around my waist. Meanwhile, Reese sat back down and lifted her feet up onto the seat with her so she could hug her knees to her chest and gently rock herself back and forth.

“I feel like I’m the one who had to do that with her,” she said, biting her lip as she looked up at me with big, worried eyes. “Like she tore down the most basic part of me and left the rest abused and cast off. I feel worthless and cheap, and…and used.”

Pulling my boxer briefs on under the towel, I nodded. “Yeah, that pretty much covers what it does to you.”

She shuddered and began to cry again. “And you’re okay with that?”

God, why was I doing this to her? I just wanted it to stop. Covering my face with my hand, I rasped, “Reese. I’m sor—”

“Don’t you dare apologize,” she scolded, tears streaming down her face. “I’m the one who did this to you. It’s my fault you went through this.”

What?!

“No. God, no. You didn’t. Nothing was your fault.”

Maybe I should just tell her.

I should definitely tell her.

Kneeling in front of her, I got down on her level to confess everything, but when she looked at me, the first thing she focused on was that damn hickey, reminding me there was no reason for her to actually believe me if I tried to say nothing had happened. Fuck.

“I’m sorry.” Snatching the shirt she’d picked out for me, I jerked it on, and she immediately reached for me, clutched the cloth as if it were her lifeline.

I yanked her off the toilet and sat there myself so I could tug her back down onto my lap where I wrapped my arms around her.

“It’s okay,” I assured her. “I swear to you, Reese. It wasn’t that bad. I didn’t even finish. As soon as she was done, I—”

“I don’t want details,” she screeched, horrified.

Okay. Good; I didn’t want to lie anymore, anyway. I had stupidly thought making it merely sound like a quickie round would soften the horror for her, but I had a feeling we’d reached a point where nothing I had to say about it now would help her. Not even the truth.

“I’m sorry,” I repeated. I tried to move back, give her space, but she only sobbed more and jerked me right back against her.

“It’s going to be okay.” I kissed her hair and stroked the damp strands that were currently not their usual silken-soft straightness but tangled and mussed.

She barked out an incredulous laugh. “Okay? I am so far from okay right now, I don’t even remember what okay feels like.”

Dammit. I buried my face against her neck and inhaled her sweet pea scent. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I can’t… I can’t…Why the hell did you stay? You shouldn’t have stayed to see this.”

“I don’t know. I couldn’t leave.” She burrowed closer. “Don’t make me leave.”

“Never.” I caressed her cheek with the backs of my fingers. “Tell me what to do. I’ll do it. I swear. Just tell me how to make this better.”

“It’s already done.” She fell lax against me as if drained. “The only thing left to do now is to adjust and accept. Either that or lose you forever, and that’s not even an option.”

“Are you sure?” I asked softly. “It’d probably be a lot less of a headache for you.”

She just looked at me. “I don’t care. Losing you would feel like losing a limb. You’ve become, like, a part of me.”

God, how had I gotten lucky enough to meet this girl? She was my entire world.

I tucked my face into her hair, inhaling more sweet pea to convince myself this was real, it was really happening, and Reese was mine. She thought I’d done the worst thing possible, and she had still stayed.

“I thought I loved you enough that my feelings could protect you,” I confessed. “I thought I could keep you from being hurt. Damn it, I was so sure I could spit in her face and end it for good.” But spitting on Patricia hadn’t ended shit. Our misery was still going, never ending. “I was so stupid and cocky. And you got hurt because of it.”

“No.” She stroked my arm soothingly, way more understanding than she should be. “You did protect me. You kept her from contacting Jeremy. You saved me.”

Except I hadn’t done that either. Sniffing out my guilt and promising to do anything I had to in order to keep her safe, I kissed her hair.

“Come on.” Keeping her tucked snug in my arms, I stood and carried her out of the bathroom, down the hall, and to my room. After setting her down on my mattress, I pulled the sheets up over her and then kissed her forehead platonically before crawling in beside her.

We lay face-to-face, just watching each other. The dark room was backlit from the hall light that spilled in over her face. She was pale and wilted, her eyes huge and glassy, like a trauma survivor who needed to get her bearings straight before she could even process what had happened.

I started talking, hoping to distract her. I’m not even sure what I said, but I know I told her about how I’d gotten into the business and what it had done to me. It felt as if she just needed something simple to bring her back to the present, even if it was merely hearing the sound of my voice to ground her.

She blinked occasionally, watching me and listening. I have no idea if my words penetrated her brain, but they seemed to do the trick of calming her because she sniffed out a sad smile and wiped the tears off her face for the first time since lying down when I said, “I can’t regret it, though. If I’d never accepted her offer that afternoon, I wouldn’t have started my clientele at the Country Club. I never would’ve made enough money to feel like I could go to college. And I never would’ve met you.”

“I don’t think I’m worth it,” she admitted in a hollow voice.

I could only chuckle, knowing the exact opposite was true: I was the one who wasn’t worth it. “Trust me. You’re more than worth it.” I kissed her nose and sighed. “Okay, so I spilled my soul to you. Your turn.” I traced the scar on the back of her neck. “Will you tell me about this?”

“She pretty much covered it all,” Reese admitted, closing her eyes. “There’s not much left to tell.”

“I want to hear it anyway,” I encouraged softly. “I want to hear it from you.”

So she told me her story, which really was pretty much exactly as Patricia had described it—making me upset that Patricia had been so intrusive into Reese’s life to learn so much—and I pulled her close, kissing her hair.

“I’ll do whatever I can to keep him from hurting you again.”

“I know,” she said with so much certainty that the guilt for not sleeping with Patricia to protect her mounted.

She was so damn trusting as she rested her cheek on my chest and stroked my arm. I kept my arms wrapped securely around her, not about to let go. Ever.

We lay there like that, unspeaking, just holding each other. Eventually, her breathing evened out and her limbs went lax against me. I kissed her hair, squeezing my eyes closed.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, and I continued to hold her until I fell asleep too.

“Mason?”

I was dreaming about taking Sarah and Reese to a carnival. Reese was joking with the ride operator for the Ferris wheel, and I was picking my sister up from her chair to load her into our pod when my mother’s voice snapped, “Mason!”

I woke with a start, jerking upright in bed, only to bump into Reese who’d been passed out next to me.

She and I shared a wide-eyed glance before I glanced up at my mother, who stood hovering over my bed with her hands on her hips and a scowl on her face.

“Mom,” I gasped, thumping my hand to my heart before falling backward onto my bed. “Jesus, you gave me a heart attack.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she muttered, scowling Reese’s way. “But I wasn’t expecting to check on you and find you in bed with Reese.”

I blinked. “You still check on me at night?” I hadn’t thought she’d cared that much. The woman barely touched me.

“Yes!” she exclaimed in outrage, tossing up her hands incredulously. “I’m your mother, aren’t I? Now, are you going to explain what you’re doing in bed with the babysitter or not?”

I finally glanced over at Reese, who looked pale and wide-eyed. Grabbing her hand to reassure her, I turned back to Mom. “Jeez, Mom, nothing happened. Look. We still have our clothes on.”

Mom lifted her eyebrows as if pissed, which was sort of charming. Maybe she did care about my damned soul after all. But Reese continued trembling with worry next to me, so I set to work smoothing out the tension.

“Sarah…she had a seizure,” I lied. “And Reese flipped out. She tried calling you first, but I don’t know, maybe she dialed the wrong number. Anyway, she couldn’t reach you, so she called me next. After we put the munchkin to sleep, Reese sort of lost it and started crying. I wasn’t sure what to do to help her. So I made her lie down and talk things through. Then we both fell asleep, and you came home, and that’s where we are now.”

Reese squeezed my hand under the blanket. I’m not sure if she was congratulating me for my quick thinking or reprimanding me for lying so thoroughly to my mom, but she didn’t correct me, so I guess she couldn’t be too upset.

Mom glanced between us before her brow wrinkled with concern. “Sarah had a seizure? Is she okay?”

“She’s fine,” I rushed to reassure her. “She seemed lucid and alert after it was over. We read some Harry Potter together before she went to bed.”

“Good.” With a tired sigh, Mom rubbed her forehead. “Thanks for being here, Reese.” She sent Reese a sympathetic wince. “Poor dear, you still look shaken. Your eyes are red and swollen.”

When Reese glanced down shyly, I slid an arm around her and pulled her close. “I’m going to drive her home. Her friend called and needed to borrow her car, so she needs a ride.”

Reese’s face popped up and she ogled me as if I’d lost my mind, but she still didn’t contradict me, so I kept on with the path I wanted to take, which was to never leave her side again.

I returned my attention to my mom. “Thanks for checking on me, though.”

Mom seemed rattled by that. “Uh…” Not sure how to respond and always uncomfortable when it came to too much mother-son bonding, she nodded and immediately started backing toward the doorway. “Yeah. Sure.” And…she was gone, leaving Reese and me time to crawl out of bed so I could find some damn pants.

“I can’t believe you just totally lied to her,” she hissed, keeping her voice low as she watched me tug on a pair of jeans.

“I didn’t lie,” I hissed back. “Sarah really did have an attack, and I really did calm you down afterward. Just…not tonight.”

With a snort, she rolled her eyes, only to end it with a grin. “It’s scary how smooth you can lie.”

God, I loved that smile. She always managed to help me find joy, no matter what was happening.

I smiled back and grabbed her hand so I could kiss her knuckles. “Only on Fridays.”

Pushing my feet into some shoes, I kept hold of her fingers and laced them through mine before leading her from the room and down the hall toward the kitchen, where Mom was getting some tea to drink.

Mom raised her eyebrows as if she thought we wanted to say something more than a farewell.

Reese surprised me by letting go of my hand and stepping toward her only to throw her arms around my mother in a big hug. “I just want you to know you have some amazing children.”

Mom and I exchanged a wide-eyed glance over Reese’s shoulder before she seemed to hug Reese back and patted her arm. “I do, don’t I?”

After the night we’d just had, the fact that Reese wanted to call me amazing made me love her even more, all the while my guilt soared.

If only she knew everything I’d ever lied about, would she still think I was so awesome? Would she understand why I’d altered the truth all those times, or would she finally hate me as I probably deserved?

“And I know they’re both very fond of you too,” Mom murmured as she pulled away.

Fond was such a mild word for all the things Sarah and I felt for Reese. But for now, it worked.

I recaptured Reese’s hand and told my mom, “I’ll be back in the morning.”

Reese gaped up at me, tripping when I started us out the back door, tugging her along without warning. “Mason!” she gasped as soon as we were outside. “Oh my God. I can’t believe you just told her that.”

“What?” I sent her a smirk. “I thought you didn’t want me to lie to her.”

“But now she’s going to think we’ll be having sex all night.”

I shrugged, picturing it, even though I knew it wouldn’t happen. “Well… A guy can dream, can’t he?”

She backhanded my shoulder, but then her gaze drifted toward the landlady’s house. I hurried her more quickly toward my Jeep. She was still staring fixedly at Patricia’s place by the time I climbed into the driver’s seat next to her.

When I murmured her name, she finally looked over. “I hate her,” she said. “I really, really hate her.”

I sniffed out a sad smile and kissed her forehead. “That makes two of us.”

I wondered if it would be more merciful to tell her the truth, or if it even mattered at this point. Not wanting to load a new worry—like her ex-boyfriend—on her tonight, I started the engine and backed us from the driveway.

We didn’t say anything else about Patricia. Then again, neither of us talked at all. Worried that silence meant something bad, I blurted the first thing that came to my mind.

“So, I got a B on my last calculus test. Did I win our bet?”

She hugged herself. “We never actually bet anything.” Then she glanced over and a spark of her usual self illuminated through the pain. “But yeah, I totally kicked your ass with a ninety-eight percent.”

My lips quirked up with a grin. “Show-off,” I murmured.

Her toe slowly swung over across the seats to bump into my leg. “You know it.”

Relief shuddered through me. We were going to make it, I realized then. Somehow, we’d eventually be okay again.

Maybe not tonight. Maybe not even soon. But someday.

“And I’ve been taste testing different flavors of those fancy drinks you like,” I went on.

Reese snorted. “I don’t know why you would bother. You’re never going to find anything better than my white chocolate mocha espresso.”

“My favorite so far is the Triple Mocha Frappuccino.”

She huffed out a sound of disgust before muttering, “No taste. You have absolutely no taste at all. I don’t know why I put up with you.”

I clucked my tongue and nodded in fake mourning. “That is a mystery. On the other hand, I think I figured out who put Harry’s name into the goblet.”

“Oh?” She perked to attention, twisting in her seat to face me. She even tucked her foot under her and bounced her knee in excitement. “What’s your theory?”

I pulled into the Mercers’ driveway and parked in front of a closed garage door. “Well, it has to be a death eater, or someone working for Voldemort, because Dumbledore is completely not happy about him being in the games.”

Reese snickered as she pushed open her door and came around to meet me at the driver’s side so we could walk up the steps in the dark together. “Not even close,” she told me, taking my hand.

I gripped her fingers firmly and glanced around, on the lookout for anything out of place or suspicious. There was no logical way her ex could make it here from Illinois that fast, even if Patricia had called him as soon as I’d walked out the door. But I felt on edge anyway. I hurried us toward the steps and stayed by her side the entire way. “Really?” I answered as we moved, frowning over how wrong my guess was. “And here I was sure it had to be—”

“I’m just kidding,” she butted in cheerfully, popping forward in front of me to unlock the door. “You’re totally right. It is a death eater.”

She swung the door open and entered the apartment before I could grab her waist and stall her. I’d kind of wanted to enter before she did so I could check the place out. But my fingers only caught air as she disappeared inside.

Darkness engulfed her, and for a split second I panicked, thinking he already had her and it was all my fault. But then she turned on a light, and I huffed out a breath, quickly stepping inside and closing the door at my back so she wouldn’t notice anything wrong with me.

“How’d you figure it out?” she asked, pocketing her keys back into her purse and hanging the whole bundle on a nearby wall hook.

I watched her, glad she didn’t seem worried or nervous. I doubt she’d be this undaunted right now if I’d told her the truth. Comforted by that thought. I followed her to her bedroom.

“Well, Snape just noticed ingredients for polyjuice missing, which makes me think someone bad is pretending to be someone good. You know, like someone close to Harry.”

“Wow, you are good.” Reese sent me an approving nod before opening a dresser drawer and pulling out a wad of clothing. “I’m going to go change into some PJs in the bathroom, okay?”

Nodding, I watched her disappear into the small bathroom, though I didn’t envy her for her choice of changing spots. How many times had I bumped into a wall in there myself?

As if on cue, I heard a thud on the other side of the door preceding Reese’s outburst of, “Ouch! Son of a bitch.”

I grinned and shook my head. “You okay?”

“Fine! Just fine,” her muffled voice returned before scuffling and more muttered curses followed.

Not about to change in that deathtrap of a cubicle myself, I stripped down to my boxer briefs right where I stood, figuring it would be okay to wear just that since she’d already seen me in them at my place.

I was bending over to take off my socks just as I saw a spider scurry across the floor. Knowing Reese would not like knowing it was squatting in her bedroom. I grabbed my shoe that was lying abandoned on its side not far away and I quickly slapped it down over the arachnid, hissing, “Yes!” when I caught it on the first try.

“What was that?” a worried voice asked from the direction of Reese’s bathroom.

I winced up at her, only for my breath to stall in my chest. Standing in the open doorway of her bathroom, she wore a worn oversized T-shirt-looking thing where one sleeve was threatening to slip off her right shoulder. It fell to mid-thigh and made her legs look incredibly long. My brain momentarily stalled out, imagining those legs wrapped around me as I tugged up the hem of that shirt and pushed inside her.

God…damn.

I shook my head and managed to meet her eyes. Then, with an innocent wince, I answered, “Nothing.”

She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “It was a spider, wasn’t it?”

“No,” I started, shaking my head.

With a sniff, she glanced at my shoe. “Just tell me it didn’t look like a mama spider that probably had a million other baby spiders that are probably hiding out in here somewhere, too.”

Obliging, I nodded. “It totally looked like a single man spider, one of those playboy bachelors afraid of commitment and children and all that shit.”

She finally cracked a smile. “You are so full of it. But thank you.”

When she started forward as if to hug me for getting rid of the spider, I rose to my full height to receive it, but she jarred to a halt and gaped down the length of my body. “Oh,” she said breathlessly. “You’re…”

“Was this okay?” I asked, spreading my arms and looking down at my jockey shorts. “You said you were changing into your pajamas, so I thought—”

“No, no. This is fine.” She waved a hand and smiled at me, only to glance uncertainly toward the bed and then back to my chest. A huge breath heaved from her. “So…” She licked her lips like it was a nervous gesture. “How are we going to do this?”

I’d never seen her look so uncertain before. It was cute.

Taking over, I said, “Like this.”

I grasped her hand to lead her to the bed, where I lifted the blankets for her to slide under. Then I flipped off the lights and used the streetlamps flooding into the room to guide me back to her. Once I burrowed in beside her, I pulled her close and kissed her hair.

She melted against me and slid her hand across the surface of my chest before kissing my shoulder. “Tonight’s been…weird,” she said in the dark of the room.

I kissed her hair and took her hand, drawing the picture of a spider on her palm with my index finger. Blowing out a breath, I agreed, “It’s definitely been something.”

“We kissed,” she reminded me. “Our first kiss.”

I smiled and pulled her closer. “Yeah.”

“You’re not a bad kisser.”

“Thanks.” Beaming, I nudged my hip against hers and teased, “You could use some work.”

She gasped. “Excuse me?”

My body shook with all the silent laughter I was trying to contain as I added, “But I’m sure with sufficient practice, we’ll get it right.”

“You are such a liar.” She poked me in the side, only to pause. “Wait. Are you drawing a freaking spider on my hand? Mason!”

When she jerked her fingers away in righteous indignation, I cracked up laughing out loud.

“Oh my God, I love you,” I hooted. “I can’t believe you were more offended by that than me calling you a bad kisser.”

She sniffed mutinously. “Yeah, well… There’s no way I’m actually a bad kisser. I’m awesome at everything.”

“Truth,” I murmured, still grinning.

She still sounded petulant when she muttered, “And I love you, too,” before she settled back against me and softened into my arms. “Now give me your hand so I can draw a creepy, scary picture on you.”

I willingly handed my fingers over, and she set to work on me.

“A flower?” I guessed two seconds later.

“Nope.”

“Duck?”

“Not even close. And how are ducks and flowers even remotely creepy or scary?”

I shrugged. “A duck chased me at the park once when I was five. I cried.”

“Aww, you poor thing. That does sound traumatic.”

“My mom laughed.”

After a pause, she answered, “Yeah, I probably would have too. Keep guessing.”

“A whale on drugs?”

With a snort, she intoned, “Wow. You are genuinely bad at this.”

I shrugged. “At least I’m still a good kisser.” Giving into temptation, I slid my bare leg against hers under the covers, delighting in her warm, smooth skin.

“Yeah,” she murmured, agreeing as she moved with me as if she wanted to feel more of me against her too. “I guess we can’t all be good at everything, though, like I am.”

“Truth,” I repeated, moving my face closer to hers.

Her toes found mine, and she nudged my big toe with hers, making me nudge back, until it was a full-out war and we were laughing and rolling across the bed.

Just when Reese came too close to the edge of the mattress and started to go over the side, I grabbed her hip and yanked her back from falling.

We were still breathing hard from our match as she leaned her face against my neck and touched my cheek, as if trying to mourn over the bad parts of the night with me.

I turned my face in to kiss her palm, right where I’d drawn my spider. “It’s going to be okay,” I murmured.

“I know,” she said, but she still sounded sad.

So I reiterated, “We’re going to be okay. If you can forgive me for all my fuckups, then I can forgive you for being perfect at everything.”

She hummed out a sound of amusement before letting out a long breath. “If I were really perfect, then I would’ve known what the right thing to do tonight was, and I would’ve done it. I would’ve saved you from going over there and—”

“You did save me,” I told her. “In more ways than you’ll ever understand. You’re my hero, Reese. Before you came along, everything inside me felt so dark and miserable. But now…it’s not.”

After a long pause, she said, “Thank you,” and squeezed my wrist.

I caught her hand and linked our fingers together. “You want to know the crazy thing? All your flaws and quirks are probably the parts I love most about you.”

“Really?”

I kissed her cheek. “Really.”

“Want to know what I love most about you?” she asked.

“Of course.” I was dying to know. It mystified me why she even bothered to give me the time of day.

“I mean, aside from your butt,” she started. “It’s that you seem to like me just the way I am, flaws and all. Jeremy always made me feel ashamed for saying or doing certain things. You know, those crazy, weird quirky things I say and do. Even my friends and family have tried to temper some of my more outgoing oddities, but not you. You’ve just accepted me for what I am, and it’s so nice and refreshing, and I think it made me open up to you probably more than I ever have to anyone else, so…thank you. Thank you for making me feel secure and comfortable enough to just be me.”

I really didn’t feel as if I should be thanked for anything tonight, not while I had another woman’s hickey on my chest or while I was purposely not telling her that her life might now be in danger. But I was happy to hear her say what she did and learn I actually did do something positive and good for her. My eyes went damp as I kissed her hair and then pressed my cheek against it.

“You did it now,” I warned on a sympathetic sigh. “You just went and got yourself stuck with one Mason Lowe for the rest of your life. Way to go, lady.”

It did my heart good when she said, “Good,” as if she were genuinely pleased to have me.

I think we both knew nothing could top this moment, so we didn’t even try. We just lay there in the quiet darkness and held each other. I listened as her breathing slowed and she fell asleep in my arms. Then I finally gave into sleep myself, and the rest of the night passed without incident.

I woke to the sensation of someone watching me.

Letting out a small moan of denial, I tried to recapture my sleep, but it was too late. I was definitely unable to go back to sleep now, mainly because I already knew who was staring.

I turned my head her way and opened my eyes to smile.

“Hey, Sweet Pea,” I said, my voice full of morning dust.

Her expression bloomed into the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen. “Hey, Hotness.” Then her gaze shifted across my chest and down my torso, until the smile was replaced with something even better. The heat in her gaze made my skin crackle with desire, and when she met my gaze again, it nearly drowned me in lust.

“Can I touch you?” she asked.

Grinning, I closed my eyes and tipped my face toward the ceiling in an effort to contain my joy, because it felt too big, like I didn’t deserve to be this happy. “You don’t have to ask.” Everything on me belonged to her.

When nothing happened, I opened my eyes to find her face full of worry and hesitation.

Dread bloomed. “What’s wrong?”

She shook her head, looking dazed. “I just… I don’t know where to start.”

Oh, damn. How was it possible that I could love this girl any more than I already did?

Taking her hand, I pressed her palm flush against my heartbeat. “Start here. No one’s ever touched me here before.”

Her fingers flexed against my skin and she smiled into my eyes and she began to rub a gentle circle around the area. Then she leaned down and kissed my chest, right over my heart.

Suddenly she looked up and bit her lip before blurting, “Word.”

Totally confused, I furrowed my brow and tried to figure out what the hell that meant. “What?”

She laughed at my expression, her face brightening pink with embarrassment. “I thought you told me to just say the word when I was ready. So…word. Or should I say ‘the word’?”

Oooooh.

Oh, God.

So she wanted to…?

I sucked in a sharp breath, not really expecting this and thinking it was way too good to be true. I almost couldn’t trust such good fortune. “Reese—” I started, trying to sit up and make sure she knew exactly what she was getting herself into.

But she merely nudged me back down, her hand pressing firmly against my heart.

“It’s okay, Mason,” she said with a confidence and seriousness not even I could deny. “I love you, and I want to show you how much. I want you to have that recreational fun you’ve never had. I want to pamper and spoil you as no one ever has before. And I want to wash away all their rules and restrictions until you feel free to do whatever you like with me.”

Dammit. Emotions swamped me as I cupped her cheek in my hand and tried to show her with my eyes how much she meant to me. “God, I don’t deserve you.”

She preened happily. “And yet you have me anyway.”

And with that, she began to touch me. For real.

Her hands moved with sensual intent, and I went hard so fast it left me lightheaded.

“So, you’re about to give your first freebie, Mr. Lowe, the amazing gigolo.” She smiled at me, a teasing glint lightening her eyes just before she leaned in and used the end of her nose to caress the side of my throat. “Would you like to pause and say a little something to mark the occasion?”

I shuddered and sucked in an unsteady breath.

When she pulled back to get my answer, I murmured, “Oh, but this isn’t going to be my first freebie.”

“What?” Her eyes filled with immediate hurt. “But you said—”

“Shh.” When she started to pull away, I set my finger over her mouth and then I pulled her face down in order to kiss her forehead. Next, my lips grazed her cheek. And after that, her jaw. Down her neck. God, she was soft and sweet all over. “It’s not going to be a freebie at all,” I assured her. “Because I plan to make you pay. Big-time.”

Her body lost all tension, her eyes softened with relief, and just like that the glimmer of mischievousness returned to her eyes.

“Oh, I’m going to pay, am I?” When she arched her eyebrows as if displeased with this news, even though we both knew it was merely a game, I kissed her collarbone, causing a tremor to seize her. She sounded breathless when she licked her lips. “But I’m getting the girlfriend discount, right?”

I laughed and shook my head, loving her playfulness. “Nope. You’re going to owe me more than anyone ever has before.”

“Really? Hmm.” She seemed thoughtful before wondering, “What do you plan to charge?”

“Just your body,” I replied. “Your heart.” I drew in a breath and took in all her loveliness, from her sexily rumpled bedhead and oversized T-shirt to her radiant grin. “And all of your soul.”

Sighing as if pleased, she buried her hands in my hair and gripped my head, making sure I was looking at nothing but her when she replied, “But I’ve already given you those.”

“Well, there’s my first then.” Humming out my pleasure, I dipped my face into the nook of her neck. “A woman who prepays.”

With a heady laugh, she rolled me onto my back and crawled on top of me. “In that case, sonny, lie back. I’m not done investigating my purchase.”

I flashed my canines at her. “Need to check my teeth?”

She arched an eyebrow. “Not quite the spot I had in mind.”

“My armpit?” When I pulled up my elbow, she cracked out a full laugh, that same laugh I’d heard across the quad on the first day of school, the very laugh I’d fallen for.

“Put your arm down, you dork.” Once she pushed my arm back into place, she turned serious. “Maybe I was talking about your tattoo, huh.”

Her fingers found the words Make Me, and I let her investigate it, still a little mystified with wonder that Reese was sitting on top of me touching me…all over.

I told her all the defiant reasons why I’d gotten the mark and she leaned down to kiss it. With her mouth so close to the area that was straining the most for her attention, I groaned and gripped her hair. Her lips moved to my belly button.

Shit.

Was she…?

No. I mean, probably not.

But maybe…

I held my breath as she kept kissing my stomach, only to move down, down…all the way to my feet, skipping right over the tented section of underwear. Hey, what…?

I lifted my torso and rested my elbows against the mattress to watch her. “You missed a spot.”

She lifted a finger as if to shush me. “Don’t worry. I’ll get to your ears, I swear.”

I shook my head. God, she was such a goof.

I loved her goofiness.

“That’s not what I was talking about.”

She finally glanced at my junk, and wow, just her looking at it made it swell even more. A wet spot of precum soaked through the cloth.

Reese sucked in a dazed breath, and her throat worked as she swallowed. Then she licked her lips hungrily before meeting my gaze as if she were sorry. “I just… I thought maybe your… I was worried a couple of overeager clients might’ve touched it more than you wanted, so I didn’t want to intrude. I didn’t want to—”

I cut her off with a roar of laughter.

“Reese. Jesus, you are too cute. I don’t care about them. I just know I want you to touch it. I want your hands on me. Right here.”

I cupped myself, letting her know it was totally okay for her to do so as well.

Her eyes went wide as she watched me, and in their depth, I saw the gleam of temptation.

“My goodness, Mr. Lowe,” she murmured, fanning herself. “I think that’s just about the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Then you haven’t seen nothing yet.” Wanting to put on a show to really please her, I fisted the entire length through my boxer briefs and began to stroke, up, then down. “I ache so badly for you right now, Reese, just thinking about sliding into you has me...”

With a groan, I closed my eyes and let my head fall back, shuddering with need.

“Well, we can’t have that.” Fingers gripped the hem of my underwear before she tugged them down, making me lose my grip on myself.

I opened my eyes to watch as she unveiled me. And I have to admit, the shock on her face when she stripped me bare was worth it.

“Holy Mary, Mother of God. That’s definitely the biggest I’ve ever seen.”

Yes, and that is what every guy wants to hear, no doubt about it.

But I was still curious. “Just how many have you seen?”

She glanced up. “Including you? Two.” Then she crouched close to my straining cock and cooed in a high voice as if she were addressing an infant. “Hey there, big fellow. You don’t bite, do you?”

This girl. I swear. She was going to kill me with her quirky ways. I laughed, only to groan in frustration a second later. “Damn it, Reese. Your sense of humor is going to drive me crazy before this day is over.”

“What?” She looked honestly confused.

“Just touch it already,” I pleaded from between clenched teeth.

She did, but only to gently pet her way down the length with two tentative fingers as if trying to go easy and tame a wild animal.

Sweat beaded on my brow. “You are such a comedian. You know that’s not what I meant by touch it. It’s not a freaking dog.”

“Um, no. I’d say this thing is more the size of a bull.”

I gave a choked laugh. Only Reese could make sexual torture so fun.

Suddenly she sat back, scowling at me and pressing her hands to her hips as if ready to deliver the scolding of a lifetime. “Now, why am I doing all the touching here? You haven’t inspected one inch of me yet. Don’t you like what you see?”

I groaned, wishing she wouldn’t make me go there yet. It’d be over in a minute if we started down that road. “I love everything I see,” I admitted, clutching the sheets under me in order to keep from reaching for her already. “But if I touch you right now, that’s it. I won’t be able to stop. I wanted to make sure you have all your playtime in before I got started.”

And just like that, she smiled, pleased. “Aww.” Stroking my belly and coming teasingly close to my cock, she murmured, “Thinking of me first. That’s so sweet. Thank you.”

“Yeah, I’m a frigging saint. Now will you please touch my dick like you mean it before the damn thing explodes?”

She tsked and shook her head. “Oh, all right.”

Then she leaned down and licked me, from base to tip.

And to steal Reese’s phrase: Holy Mary, Mother of God, I’d never experienced anything like it.

I shouted her name, my hips jerking up to seek more.

Reese scowled, lifting up to arch me an annoyed glance. “What did I do wrong this time?”

Fuck, I couldn’t even talk for a good five seconds. Then I shook my head, dazed and panting. “N…nothing. That was…that was…perfect.”

She blinked before tipping her head to the side and studying my expression with a suspicious curiosity. “Haven’t you ever been licked there before?”

“No,” I rasped.

When I tried to explain to her that clients never cared about my pleasure during our transactions, a thoughtful expression crossed her face.

The next thing I knew, my entire dick was in her mouth, and she was sucking.

Fuck me sideways, but Reese knew how to suck like a pro.

My back bowed off the bed once more, and she took me even deeper. I think my eyes went crossed when her tongue flicked over the tip.

“Reese! Oh my God. Oh…shit.”

This was too good. Her lips felt too amazing wrapped around me. Her tongue—God, her tongue—drove me insane with the way it moved. I was going to come. Any second now, I was going to come right in her mouth.

But, no!

I sat up, wanting all of it. “I can’t wait any longer. I need…I need to touch you. Now.”

Tugging her off my dick, I flipped her onto her back, and crawled over her like a man possessed. Then my mouth was on her, consuming.

I took everything, greedily gobbling up what I wanted.

There would be no what’s your fantasy questions from me, because I was living my fantasy. This was my first time. I’d never been with someone of my choice before. So suddenly, it was all about me.

Me and Reese.

As my mouth clung to hers, I skimmed my palms up her thighs and under her shirt before finding her panties and peeling them off. A part of me wanted to linger and savor every moment, but the majority of me just needed to feast savagely.

After I removed her shirt, I stared down at my prize, overwhelmed with gratitude. She really was perfect everywhere. And she was all mine.

“Be right back,” I panted before scurrying off the bed and finding my pants on the floor, only to scour the pockets for my wallet and tear a condom free.

From the bed, Reese watched me roll it on, her gaze intrigued by the action. When I returned to her, I remained standing as I rested my knees against the edge of the mattress and reached for her legs, dragging her close and placing them around me, just as I’d always imagined them. She hooked her feet together at the base of my spine, holding on as I skimmed my hands up the outsides of her thighs until I cupped her ass and lifted her to align our bodies.

Her nipples tightened under my gaze, and when she arched her back to display them more sensuously, I smiled my approval.

Testing her, I dipped a finger in, and shit, she was warm and wet and definitely ready. We both moaned out a strangled sigh when I stroked my digit deeper. Assessing how much she could take, I added another and eased back in. When I pushed in three, her breathing picked up and she rolled her hips hypnotically, eagerly rising up to meet each thrust. I leaned down and sucked one of those tempting nipples into my mouth.

“God, oh, God, oh, God,” she chanted, clutching my hair.

Unable to hold back a second longer, I pulled my fingers free and I wrapped my hand around the base of my cock, setting it in place. My vision blurred and I gulped unsteadily, realizing how big and powerful of a moment this was, just as I pressed forward.

She drew in a sharp breath, and her eyes went wide as she met my gaze and clutched the sheets under her.

I eased deeper, finally taking my time so I could remember every single moment of this, every inch as she took me in, every gasp as her muscles squeezed tighter. My cock pulsed, growing larger as her body molded around it.

And suddenly, her eyes filled with panic.

Just like that, I paused. “Reese? Are you sure?”

The question seemed to reassure her, because her expression relaxed and she smiled gratefully, nodding big. “Yes. Yes. Please.”

That’s all I needed to hear. I pressed my forehead to hers and slammed the rest of the way home.

And, yes, home was the perfect word for it. I’d just come home.

“Stop!” Reese shrieked suddenly. “Wait, wait, wait.”

I froze, looking into her eyes for signs of pain or distress. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you? Are you okay? I thought you said—”

When I began to pull out, however, she only locked her thighs harder around me, keeping me right where I was.

“No, shh, I’m fine. I’m fine,” she panted, though she looked scared shitless. “I just…I need a moment. I wasn’t expecting it to be so… You’re so big. Bigger than…” She met my gaze and blinked. Then she blinked again. Something in my expression must’ve reassured her once more because just like that, her inner muscles that had been locked hard against my intrusion seemed to shift, relaxing enough as if willing to accept more. Then her thighs opened and her chest arched as her hips undulated against me, drawing me in deeper, moving to gain more friction. “Mmm.”

And holy shit, it took everything I had not to dive, and pump, and fuck the shit out of her. But I somehow managed to keep absolutely still until she physically slapped my shoulder, yelling, “Move, move, move.”

That was exactly what I wanted to do. “But you just told me to stop.”

Eyes widening with outrage, she grabbed my hair and pulled as if trying to yank me into motion. “Well, now I need you to move. Oh, God. Please hurry. I feel so… I’m so… Jesus, what are you doing to me?”

Though my body strained for fast and hard, no way was I going to scare her again. I watched her closely as I pulled out and just barely rocked in again.

She pulled my hair some more, arching and moaning. “More.”

I grinned. This was definitely my Reese, there was no mistaking that. She put every emotion right out there for the world to see, hiding nothing. And I loved it. Taking my feet off the floor, I crawled the rest of the way onto the bed with her because I wasn’t messing around any longer. Then I gripped the pillow by her face and moved how I wanted to, slamming into her with the full force of my hips.

“You confuse the hell out of me, Teresa, Reese, or whoever the hell you are,” I panted out and shook my head as I continued to pound. “But I still can’t get enough of you.”

She grinned and threw her head back, meeting my thrusts just as hard as I was giving them. So I picked up the pace, slapping even more roughly into her. Then I shifted her so I could go deeper. When I saw her jerk in surprise as I hit a new spot, I knew I’d found my pot of gold. I attacked it, making sure I hit it again. And again. And again. God, yes, I had her number now.

She thrashed her head from side to side, and her thighs went taut around me.

“You feel so good, so good,” she gasped. “So good.”

She was there, right on the edge of euphoria. And it was magnificent. It made me just as close to coming.

“Christ,” I groaned. “Don’t say shit like that to me when I’m already on the edge. You feel good too, Reese. So…goddamn…good. But I don’t want it to end yet.”

She nodded as if to agree, only to mutter, “Oh, screw it,” right before she clutched my ass and pulled me in to the hilt and kept me there, deep inside her, grinding. “We can have long, drawn-out slow sex later.”

“Promise?”

She nodded. “Yes. Yes. Right now, just light me up. Please.”

That, I could do. “On it,” I said, driving her to the peak. Then I sank my fingers into her hair and held my cheek next to hers as I rasped into her ear, “I love this. I love you. You are so beautiful.”

“I love you, too.”

Just when I was about to press my thumb to her clit, she came.

“Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.”

“Jesus, Reese.” I followed her off the cliff, pulsing inside her with an orgasm that would’ve blown the top off my head had I been a cartoon character.

“Oh…my…God,” she breathed one last time before we both finished.

I collapsed on top of her.

For some reason, I felt so good and sated, with not even a bit of filth or self-disgust I’d always felt before at moments like this, that I started laughing.

Because this was…

Amazing.

Reese was amazing.

“Thank you,” I told her, more grateful than I could ever remember feeling before. “I’ve always wondered what it felt like to make love.”

Reese shifted her face to the side to look at me. She cupped my cheek. “It is a million times better than that icky ol’ straight sex with no feelings involved, isn’t it?”

“Fifty million times better.”

“A trillion times,” Reese retaliated, always needing to mathematically best me.

“Infinity,” I countered.

She merely burrowed her face into my neck, wrapped her legs around my waist, and won with, “Infinity times two.”

The rest of the day was a blur of sex, food, sleep, and Reese. And maybe a little homework thrown in.

I’d been totally right about myself; I was the touchy-feely, constantly horny kind of boyfriend. Thank God Reese didn’t seem to mind. She let me experiment with pretty much anything I wanted to try. Even things I didn’t know I wanted to try until she was on top of me, riding me, and I suddenly wanted to see her ass while she bounced on my dick. So I spun her around, gripped her hips between my hands, and pumped her up and down until she panted out a breathless, “Yeehaw,” and claimed she needed a cowgirl hat.

I was too fascinated with running my thumbs over her cheeks while they swallowed my cock one thrust at a time to agree, though I’m sure she would’ve looked hot in one.

“God damn,” I groaned. “This is so awesome. I wish you could see it.” A thought struck me as I wished I could immortalize the moment forever. “Hey, can I take a picture?”

“What?” Her hair whipped into her face as she twisted to gape at me over her shoulder. “Don’t you freaking dare.”

“But, Reese,” I begged, layering on the whine as thick as I could. “It’s your cute perfect ass taking my cock. It’s beautiful, baby.” To sweeten the pot and tempt her even more, I smoothed one hand under her until it was between our bodies, so that when she came down on me, my fingers pressed up against her clit, rubbing against the sensitive muscle. “Like art.”

“Oh, God.” She threw her head back and ground down on me, her body tightening around me as she worked herself against my fingers, seeking relief. “Oh, God,” she panted.

I tried to stretch to the side and reach for my cell phone that was sitting on the nightstand next to us, but she caught the move and slapped my hand away. “Mason!” she shrieked.

I laughed, knowing she’d do that all along—which was exactly why I’d reached out in the first place. I loved predicting her next move. But then she surprised me by gripping my thigh and sinking her nails in deep just as she cried out and started to come hard, milking me to the point that I pretty much choked on my laugh because it felt so good. Without warning, my own orgasm ignited.

“Holy shit, woman,” I gasped up at the ceiling as soon as we finished and she’d collapsed with her cheek on my shin. “How did you do that? I wasn’t that close yet, but suddenly you were squeezing around me and I was going off like a premature firework.”

Reese sat up, whipped her hair over her shoulder like some kind of badass sex fiend, and then she looked back at me with a smoky wink before saying, “A magician never reveals her secrets.”

I grinned and smoothed my hand over her ass, which seemed to remind her of how I’d wanted to capture the view forever.

Her eyes instantly narrowed. “You weren’t really going to take a picture, were you?”

I laughed. “Of course not. But your reaction was priceless.”

She smacked me in the leg. “So, you did that just to freak me out? You ass! I almost had a heart attack.”

I grabbed her around the waist. “Hey, no slapping the guy who’s still inside you.”

She arched an eyebrow. “Or what?”

I grinned and slid my hands up her stomach to cup her breasts. They must’ve still been sensitive, because she gasped and arched into my touch like a cat being stroked. “Or I’m going to think your abuse is foreplay, and I’ll grow an S and M fetish and get hard every time you hit me. Just picture it,” I said, sitting upright so she was still on my lap facing away from me but my chest was flush against her spine. Then I rolled her hardening nipples between my fingers until she was arching her neck up and resting the back of her head on my shoulder. “You’ll be legit pissed at me one of these days,” I said in her ear, nipping lightly at the lobe, “throwing shoes and shit, and I’ll just want to bend you over the nearest piece of furniture and fuck you like an animal. I’ll start picking fights with you for any excuse, just so I can do you dirty like that. Now tell me, do you really want that? ’Cause I’m starting to think maybe I could be down with it after all.”

“Oh, God,” she moaned, shuddering when one of my hands slid between her legs and fondled her gently.

“I love it when you say that.” Tonguing her earlobe, I chuckled huskily when she shuddered in my arms. “It always tells me just how close you are to coming.”

She undulated her hips, encouraging me to stroke more, even as she shook her head. “But, we can’t again. At least not that soon.” Then she paused and hesitantly asked, “Can we?”

Which meant she wanted to. “Oh, sweetheart,” I hummed in pleasure, “I might not be able to regroup quite that fast, but you certainly can.”

Then I rocked forward, unseating her from my lap and pulling free of her body so that she tumbled face-first onto the bed, landing on all fours. Right where I wanted her.

Crawling on top of her from behind, I returned to what I’d just been doing, working her breasts with one hand and playing with her pussy with the other, all the while nibbling at her ear with my teeth.

“I could give you one orgasm after another all day long if you let me.”

“Oh, God.” She bowed her face down, trembling on her knees and elbows as I stroked her closer to her next release. “You’re just… This is…”

“Widen your legs for me just a little more, would you, baby.” I nudged her knees a little further apart, knowing that would heighten the sensation for her. And, oh hell, did it ever.

“Oh…my…God,” she screamed under me, bucking up as if trying to throw me off, all the while jerking her hips into my hand as if demanding more. I held on tight and stroked her through the climax that seemed to rock through her hard. “Mason!” she cried as if I was torturing her.

And I guess I was. In the best way possible.

Once she was done, she collapsed onto her stomach, panting and repeating, “Oh my God. What the hell? Oh my God.” I tumbled onto my back beside her and smiled smugly up at the ceiling. This having a girlfriend thing and actually liking and trusting the woman I was with totally rocked. I was never giving this up.

“Next time you come,” I announced, “I want to taste your orgasm in my mouth and feel your sweet little pussy quiver against my tongue.

Reese just whimpered as if defeated.

I laughed and rolled onto my side so I could stroke my hand up her bare, sweaty back. “Hey, this is all your fault. Before you came along, I loathed sex and having to perform. But now… Now, I must say, it’s the best thing I ever tried. This is basically all I ever want to do for the rest of my life. You’ve created a nympho. I think I like sex more than stealing your food from you.”

She turned her head to the side, facing me. With her cheek still pressed into the bed, she smiled lovingly.

I stroked her exposed cheek with the backs of my fingers. “Thank you,” I whispered in all seriousness. “Thank you for showing me it can be fun, and beautiful, and amazing. It’s not just some dirty, depraved power play.”

She reached out and touched my cheek in return. “It hurts my heart to know you never got to see the good side of it until now. I was even able to have okay sex with Jeremy a few times before everything went south.”

I narrowed my eyes, not liking his name in our bed while we were naked and recovering from orgasms together. “Remind me to kill that guy if I ever meet him.”

Her eyes sparkled with amusement. “Why, Mason Lowe,” she murmured, “you actually look jealous.”

“It’s the caveman in me.” I rolled her onto her back so she was facing upward. “I can’t seem…to keep it…contained.” Straining out the words as if I were physically struggling with some inner beast trying to break free, I sat up and gazed down her naked body, where her skin was still flushed and pink from traces of beard burn. “I think I’m going to have to turn all possessive and claim you again just so the world will know you’re mine. Mine! Not his!”

She rolled her eyes and muttered, “Oh brother.”

I shrugged. “I just can’t help it, Reese. It’s that base male part of me. I must plant my flag.” Flicking my tongue at her, I winked. “Right in your pole holder.”

Throwing back her head, she laughed so loud I’m surprised it didn’t shake the entire building. “No,” she cried through the giggles and tears of pure amusement trailing down her cheeks. “Please tell me you did not just call it a—”

Hell, yes, I’d called it that…just to make her laugh. Because I wanted to know what she tasted like when she was laughing.

I opened her legs and licked her clit, flattening my tongue as wide as I could to cover the entire area.

She interrupted her own laugh with a gasp and an, “Oh, God.”

Smirking, I glanced up at her with raised eyebrows.

She panted and her chest heaved from the desire but she still managed to frown at me. “Nope,” she said, shaking her head. “I didn’t say Oh, God. Nuh-uh. I would never get so turned on right after you would use such a corny word for—”

I licked her again.

“Oh, God,” she shouted. “Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh…oh…”

I pushed a finger into her and then another as I sucked hard on the nub at the top of her sex. She came so fast even I was impressed with myself.

Her limbs were literally trembling when she finished, making me worry I might’ve possibly overdosed her with too many orgasms right in a row.

“Reese?” I said, stroking her damp hair out of her face.

She turned to look at me. “Not frigging fair,” she rasped unsteadily before she rolled onto her side, facing me, tucked up her knees toward her chest and then pillowed her hands under her cheek, where she basically passed out cold.

I winced. Whoops. Maybe even Reese needed to recharge every once in a while. Lying down next to her, I studied her face as she slept and I stroked her hair between my fingers. Grinning, I leaned in to kiss the center of her forehead. She was so damn special; my chest ached from how full she made me feel. Relaxing back beside her, I returned to my own pillow and continued watching her. Eventually, I fell asleep and napped with her, but not before realizing I was the luckiest damn bastard on the planet.

It was late morning, edging into afternoon when we woke again. My limbs were actually trembling I was so hungry, and Reese said she was starving as well. But when we made it into the kitchen, I barely took a sip of the orange juice she made me before I got distracted watching her walk around the kitchen in nothing but my shirt. Before I knew it, I had her stretched out on the table and was eating my breakfast straight from between her legs.

I was like a man possessed. But there was just no getting enough of Reese.

I called my mom to let her know I wouldn’t be coming home any time soon, and Reese let me borrow her calculus book so I could get a little homework done. But it was hard to do homework when your girl was sitting on the other end of the couch, naked, because we’d made a pact that I would keep my clothes off as long as she did too. And by hard, I mean, her foot kept grazing my cock, keeping it in a constant state of arousal.

When I couldn’t handle it any more, I caught her ankle, making her gasp from the sudden move, and I sent her a warning glance. “You’re asking for it, little girl.”

“Oooh,” she chanted, like a kid in school whose friend had just been called to the principal’s office. “What’re you gonna do about it? Tickle me back?”

“Oh, I’m going to tickle you all right,” I promised, grinning darkly as I pulled her along the couch toward me, making her slide onto her back so I could crawl over. Once I had her right where I wanted her and was hovering over her on my hands and knees with my fingers latched around her wrists, pinning her in place, I leaned down as if I might kiss her, only to pause and murmur, “Or maybe I won’t touch you at all.”

“Oh, God, no,” she groaned, heaving up her hips, trying to reach me. “That would be the ultimate torture.”

I smiled at her, feeling mischievous. “Well, now you have me curious. I wonder how far I can take you without laying a single finger on you.”

“What?” she shrieked, gaping up at me as if I’d lost my mind. “No. That sounds like a terrible idea. Let’s go back to that tickling suggestion you made? Yeah, maybe with your tongue…between my legs. Now that sounds like the perfect kind of retaliation.”

But my mind was made up. “Don’t move,” I said. “I gotta try this.”

Letting go of her wrists, I sat up and backed off until I’d returned to my side of the couch, not touching her at all but able to see everything. “Yes,” I said, grinning. “Perfect.”

She narrowed her eyes at me. “I don’t think it’s working.”

“Really?” I asked, gripping the base of my cock and stroking it slowly from base to tip, making precum well from the top. “It’s not working even a little, huh?”

Reese’s gaze dropped, and her eyes glazed as she licked her lips. “Not fair,” she uttered. “That’s cheating. You are too touching.”

“I said I wouldn’t touch you,” I argued, continuing to slowly pump myself.

“So does that mean I can touch myself too?”

Hmm. I thought about it, only to answer, “Maybe. But only when and where I tell you. And not yet.”

“Oh.” From her tone, that idea seemed to appeal. “Okay,” she agreed. “I’ll play along, because now you have me super intrigued.”

I nodded, completely agreeing. “Open your legs,” I started, tipping my chin toward her bent knees. “Show me what you’re hiding in there.”

“Okay.” Sounding suddenly shy, Reese bit her lip and slowly spread her knees farther apart.

“God, yes,” I groaned, stroking myself a little harder. “You are so gorgeous. I can’t decide what I want to do first to that pretty little pussy once I touch you. Lick it, stroke it, fuck it. I want all of it.”

Moaning, she arched her chest up and gripped the couch cushions under her. “Can I touch something yet?” she asked.

“No. I’m not done looking.”

“Mason.” Her voice was full of exasperation and need. It was fucking hot.

“I think I’ll lick it first,” I decided, making her whimper. “Then when you’re just about to start coming, I’m going to stop.”

“Bastard,” she rasped, scowling at me, even as her hips shifted wantonly, demanding I continue with my erotic word play.

“Then I’m going to lick my way up to your tits. Have I told you how much I love sucking on them? They always get so hard against my tongue. I think they like my attention.”

“Because they’re betraying little bitches,” Reese muttered as she pulled back her shoulder showing them off to me proudly.

I chuckled. “And then I’m going to move up to that mouth. God, that mouth.” I shuddered. “You remember that first day we met on campus, when we ran into each other in calculus class and you dropped all your things on the floor at my feet?”

Groaning in embarrassment, Reese shut her eyes and shook her head. “No. Don’t remind me of that.”

“You knelt down in front of me to gather everything, and when you looked up, your lips were moist and slightly parted. I could only think of one thing I wanted to do to them. I’d never had a blowjob before but I’d never wanted one like I did in that moment.”

“Why don’t you crawl up here, and I’ll give you one now,” she promised with an encouraging nod of the head.

It was tempting, so tempting, but, “Not yet,” I rasped. “Soon, though. Very soon.”

I slowed the pace on my dick because I was beginning to work myself up a little too far. Returning my attention to between her legs, I grinned. “Why, Reese, baby,” I cooed. “You’re beginning to look a little damp down there. Are you sure my experiment isn’t working?”

She made a face and muttered, “Shut up. You know it’s working. So you can touch me now.”

“Not yet,” I repeated, though I did ease closer to her until I was almost kneeling between her spread legs. “Set your hands on your thighs. Like this.” I touched my own where I wanted her to touch hers.” When she did, I nodded. “Good. Now slide them down slowly toward your pussy.”

She whimpered and her breathing picked up. When she was just inches away from making contact with herself, I commanded, “Stop.”

Huffing out a breath, she moodily followed the instructions.

“Now spread yourself open for me.”

“What?!” she cried, aghast.

I arched a single eyebrow. “Are you forfeiting the game?”

She looked confused. “What happens if I forfeit?”

“Nothing,” I said and then scooted an inch away. “Absolutely nothing.”

“Wait, no! Stop. Don’t go away. I’m not forfeiting.”

Then she whimpered out her defeat and squeezed her eyes shut as she spread herself open. “Oh, God. This feels so unnatural.”

But it looked spectacular to me. I almost swallowed my tongue at the sight of her wet exposed flesh. I was so hard, my cock literally throbbed for release. “It’s not supposed to feel natural. It’s supposed to feel amazing and so fucking wrong that you’ll never want to be right again. Now open your eyes and watch me.”

Her eyes sprang open, and she met my gaze, looking dazed.

“Don’t take those eyes off me,” I ordered, watching her face as I leaned in and blew on her.

“Oh!” she gasped in surprise. “Oh, wow.” Her eyes widened as I stuck out my tongue and mimicked licking her, still not touching, but coming within inches of my mark.

“Oh my God,” she cried, arching up her hips and throwing back her head over the phantom lick. “Holy shit. How did you do that? I swear I felt it all the way to my toes.”

“Reese,” I warned, darkly. “Eyes.”

Blue eyes immediately snapped to me. “I had no idea you were so deliciously dirty.”

“Me neither,” I admitted. “But I think I like it.”

She nodded dumbly. “Yeah. Me too.”

That’s when I couldn’t take it any longer. “Okay, I think I have to fuck you now.”

“Oh, thank God,” she cried. “Yes. Finally.”

Except I paused, wincing as I remembered, “I’m out of condoms.”

“What?” Horror filled her face.

“But I have more in the glove compartment of my Jeep.”

We both glanced across the room toward the door of the apartment.

“That’s all the way outside,” Reese bemoaned.

We turned back to each other, knowing we’d never last until one of us put clothes back on to run out and fetch more. “I’ll finish you,” I promised, my cock screaming at me the entire time. “Then I’ll go get them.”

But she shook her head. “What about you?”

Yeah, what about me, my cock agreed.

“It’s okay,” I said. But, no, my cock argued, shaking its angry swollen head. It’s not okay at all.

Reese grabbed my wrist, staying me. “No, wait. How about we just take care of each other? You’d never had a blowjob before me, right? So, you’ve probably never sixty-nined, either.”

Oh, damn. I had the best girlfriend in the history of ever.

So that’s when Mason Lowe, the experienced gigolo, underwent his first sixty-nine.

Saturday faded into Sunday, and with the new dawn, a dose of reality began to intrude into our perfect weekend escape. I’d eventually made my way down to my Jeep, but all the spare condoms I’d had in my glove compartment ran out that morning after I woke Reese to a full-body massage.

Panting and sweating, I rolled off her and stared dazedly up at the ceiling, trying to get my pulse to settle.

Next to me, Reese blew out a breath and wiped her hair out of her face. “Wow. That just never gets old.”

I lolled my head to the side so I could look at her. Still naked with her breasts flushed once again from my beard burn, I realized… We were going to need more condoms. Possibly more food.

Staples for the survival of a weekend of marathon sex: condoms and food.

“I’ll make you a deal,” I said, enjoying the view of her just like that. “If you promise not to move from this spot and stay exactly as you are until I get back, I’ll run out and find us some lattes.”

She closed her eyes and moaned. “Sold.”

So I popped from the bed and searched the floor for my clothes. When I pulled them on, they felt a little funny because it’d almost been a full twenty-four hours since I’d actually worn anything—excerpt for that brief thirty seconds it’d taken me to run out to my Jeep for condoms.

Checking on my girl before I left, I was pleased to find her still sprawled in the tangle of sheets, exhausted and satisfied from my attention.

I grinned over my accomplishments and bent down to give her a goodbye peck, but my insatiable lady wrapped her arms around me, sinking her fingers into my hair and deepened the contact, nipping at my bottom lip as if to entice me back to bed.

Groaning, I crawled back on top of her, still fully clothed, with my shoes on and everything. “So you want to tease, eh?”

“Mmm,” she answered, smiling smugly as if she’d just gotten her way.

My hand wandered down her side as my tongue stroked hers. When I pushed two digits in, her eyes flared and breath puffed from between her damp, swollen lips.

Eyes turning smoky with need, she shook her head. “How the heck do you do that? You can wear me out and wring me dry until I feel like I never want to move again, only to, wham, make one little—Oh, God—okay, make that, one deep stroke, and you light me back up again. How?”

I shrugged, watching her face as my fingers went deeper yet. “Just natural talent, I guess.” Grinning, I asked, “Hey, how fast do you think I can make you come with just three fingers?”

Before she could answer, I used my thumb to massage her clit while the two fingers inside her flexed against her happy spot.

“Mason…Mason,” she chanted. “Oh my God. I can’t…” Her head thrashed, her fingers bit into the sheets, and sweat beaded on her brow.

I showed no mercy, driving her hard and then teasing her soft. The juxtaposition of fast followed by slow, rough then gentle drove her crazy.

“Oh…my…God…”

“Thirty-nine seconds!” I cheered as soon as she was finished coming.

She rolled her face my way to scowl but didn’t yet have the capability to reply.

Feeling as if I’d done my job well, I grinned and leaned in to kiss her sweat-dampened brow. “Don’t move.”

I rushed from the apartment, hurrying so I could already return to her. It wasn’t until I’d slid behind the wheel of my Jeep, however, and started the engine, then glanced up at her door that I remembered reality. Patricia’s threats. Reese’s psycho ex. The fact that Reese still thought I’d slept with another woman a day and a half ago.

I panicked for a couple moments, worried about leaving her alone, trying to remember if I’d locked the door behind me. I had… I think. God, I hoped so.

Unable to help myself, I hopped out of the idling Jeep and dashed up the steps to her door, just to be sure.

Yep, locked.

It still took me another few seconds to leave, though. I didn’t want to scare her and tell her the truth but I also wanted her to be vigilant. Deciding to just hurry and get my trip over with as quickly as possible, I rushed to the nearest convenience store and damn-near sprinted down the aisles on the search for condoms. They only sold mini packs, so I grabbed three.

When I started toward the checkout counter, a mother with two boys and a little girl was there, buying candy bars. I faltered, feeling weird about standing behind kids in line with nothing but condoms on me, so I snagged a big pack of gum I was passing and piled it on top to mask what else I was holding.

The cashier took forever doling out change. I tapped my pile of gum and condoms against my thigh impatiently and glanced out the window to check on my Jeep. No idea why I did that, but I blinked when I found some random guy, about my age, standing next to it, peering in through the driver’s side window.

Wondering if he was trying to rob me, I kept an eye on him as the family in front of me finished their transaction and started for the door. I stepped forward, not even saying hi to the cashier as I tossed my shit on the counter and then reached for my back pocket to pay. The snoop must’ve decided I didn’t have anything valuable enough to steal, because he backed away from my Jeep and glanced toward the front windows of the store, only to pause when he made eye contact with me.

I narrowed my gaze, feeling specifically singled out by him. He was a total stranger to me with smoothed-back super-blond hair that almost looked white out in the sunlight. For some reason, it reminded me of Draco Malfoy’s hair from Harry Potter.

“That’ll be nineteen fifty-three, sir,” the cashier said, jostling me from my stare.

Pulling a twenty from my wallet, I tossed it onto the counter and grabbed my things. “Keep the change.” Starting outside, I watched the Malfoy wannabe turn away and walk off.

What the hell?

That was just plain weird. I watched him disappear around the other side of the building and shook my head. I would’ve called Reese then, just to check on her, but when I went to reach for my phone, that’s when I realized I’d forgotten it at her apartment.

“Shit.”

I would’ve driven straight back to her, but then she would wonder why I hadn’t gotten our lattes. So, I once again rushed as I made my way to the coffee shop next. The drive-through line was insane. I figured it’d be faster to park and go inside, and I was right.

I’d just gotten Reese’s white chocolate mocha and my triple mocha Frappuccino and was turning toward the exit when I saw him again. He sat at a small table just inside the entrance, with a ball cap on this time, but the douche wasn’t fooling anyone. He was wearing the same damn T-shirt and jeans he’d had on at the convenience store when he’d been sniffing around my Jeep.

Why was he following me? I was certain I’d never seen him before. Was he another Ethan Riker whose mom had been one of my clients?

He had a very distinctive, narrow face with an overly pointed chin. When I passed, he glanced up slightly.

I nodded, and said, “Hey, man,” so he’d be certain I knew he was there.

Saying nothing in return, he just dropped his gaze to the cups I held and narrowed his eyes.

Once I returned to my Jeep, I glanced around the interior to make sure nothing was disturbed. Everything looked the same as ever, so I shrugged, deciding I was being paranoid. It wasn’t until I was fitting the lattes down into the cup holders that I realized he’d looked upset to see I had two drinks, and one of them had Reese’s name on the cup. My gaze shot to the coffee shop.

“Son of a bitch.”

I pushed out of the Jeep and hurried back to the shop, but once I yanked the door open, Malfoy was gone.

I spun in a circle, trying to find him, but he’d completely disappeared. Blowing out a rattled breath, I ran a hand through my hair and returned to the Jeep. I was just being paranoid, I repeated to myself. It hadn’t been Reese’s ex stalking me. He’d just been a random weirdo who’d followed me from one place to the next.

When I pulled out of the coffee shop, though, I was extra aware of everything and everyone around me. I wanted to go straight back to Reese and check on her, but I also didn’t want to lead some stalker straight to her, either, so I ended up driving in circles until I was absolutely certain no one was following me.

Sighing in relief when I pulled into the driveway of Reese’s garage apartment, I was happy to find that nothing had changed since I’d left.

My pockets bulged as I stuffed them full of condoms and gum before I grabbed the drinks and crawled out of the Jeep.

There was one lady across the street walking a dog, and a man in his yard, watering flowers, but those were the only people around. No pale-blond freaks loitering anywhere.

I jogged up the steps and tapped on the door with the toe of my shoe. When Reese opened it immediately, my heart skipped in my chest, wondering why she’d been waiting so close to the door and was no longer in bed, where she’d promised she would stay.

Damn, had something spooked her?

I only had to look into her eyes to know something was wrong.

“What happened?” I demanded, scared shitless.

She wrung her hands together and winced before plopping down on her couch and blurting, “One of your clients sent you a text message. I read it. Then deleted it.”

I blinked, not expecting to hear that. I’d been ready to hear about a strange noise startling her or a face in the window—though the likelihood of a face appearing in her second-story window was pretty much nil. Hey, I wasn’t exactly thinking logically at the moment.

I stepped into the apartment, kicked the door shut behind me, and sat beside her. “Good,” I said, placing the lattes on the coffee table so I could take both her hands. “I’m glad you deleted it. But I don’t like this look on your face, Reese. Talk to me.”

She shook her head and stared blankly at our connected hands. Fear welled in my gut.

Maybe I should’ve told her I hadn’t slept with Patricia after all. But would that even make a difference? I had a feeling it was the overall fact that I’d been a prostitute that was freaking her out at the moment, not what I had or hadn’t done with my landlady. Besides, I was worried at this point that I’d waited too long to tell her at all; the likelihood of her believing me now if I tried to confess the truth was alarmingly low.

Licking her lips, she looked up into my face. “H-how often do you get a text like that?”

I cringed. Yep, it was my overall past beginning to haunt her. “It’ll take a while for the word to get out that I’m done.”

She bobbed her head up and down as if she agreed before asking, “And how much longer after that will it take to convince all your clients that you’re really serious this time? How long will they continue to slip you their business cards and tell you to call as soon as things between you and me get a little rough? I mean, how closely am I going to have to watch what I say? Because the first time I piss you off, you could just go running back to—”

“Stop,” I rasped unsteadily, tugging her against my chest because each word cut into me like a knife. It literally hurt to hear her worry about such a thing. “I’m not going to cheat on you, Reese,” I promised. “I will never do that. I tried the other way. For two years. And I didn’t like it. I’m not going back. I just want you.” I hugged her tighter when dread shuddered through me. “Don’t break up with me already. It’s only been one day. That’s not enough, not nearly enough. Please don’t give up on us yet.”

“I won’t.” Then she looked up at me and burst into tears. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I keep saying this stuff.” She crawled into my lap and tucked her face shamefully into the crook of my shoulder. “I just want you too, Mason. I don’t want to break up with you. I don’t want to lose you at all.”

“Shh.” Kissing her hair, I rocked us gently. “You’re not going to lose me. It’s okay.”

She nodded and spent another few seconds crying before she trailed off with the occasional sniff. I just kept swaying with her and stroking her hair until she finally drew in a breath and lifted her face.

A few stray tears still clung to her cheek, so I wiped them away before kissing her nose. “I know it has to be damn near impossible for any woman to deal with a boyfriend who has a history like mine, especially being that it’s a very recent history. And it isn’t fair to ask you to. But I need you to. If anyone can get over what I was, you can. You are so strong. You are so amazing. You are…everything.”

She nodded and swallowed noisily. “I’ll get over it,” she said.

I nodded my thanks and kissed her gently on the lips. After the amount of times I’d spent inside her yesterday, the kiss could’ve turned passionate in a heartbeat, except it didn’t.

Something had changed between us. I could feel a distance that hadn’t been there at all the day before. Reality was definitely returning, and it was nudging a wedge between us as it did.

We sat cuddled together on the couch so long that Reese suggested we finish watching the Harry Potter movies.

I arched my eyebrows. “Finish?” I asked, wondering when we’d started them.

Grinning, she rolled her eyes. “Wow, you really don’t remember anything we did that night you got drunk here, do you?”

I blinked. “We watched Harry Potter together?”

She laughed, but it wasn’t quite the big open sound she usually shouted out. “We watched the first two and a half.”

Wow. I didn’t remember watching nearly three movies at all with her that night. Maybe one, but I couldn’t have told you which one.

So we restarted on the third movie, even though I didn’t remember a thing about the first two. Between the sixth and part one of the seventh, we took a break for food. While Reese was scouring the kitchen for a quick meal, I emptied the condoms from my pockets, having a feeling we wouldn’t be using them any time soon. I dropped them on the magazine table by the door and wandering over to the kitchen area where she was fixing us peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

“Can I help?” I asked, coming up behind her so close my chest rubbed her back and I could reach under her arm to dip out a scoop of peanut butter with my finger.

She jumped, not expecting the move. I knew I’d just startled her, but to me, it felt almost like a rejection. She sent me a tense smile over her shoulder and said, “Thanks, but it’s okay. I’m almost done.”

Which felt like more of a rejection.

I stepped back, giving her space and then hopped up to sit on the counter a few feet away so I could watch her work. “I never asked you what you wanted to be called.”

Glancing up as she slapped the first sandwich together, she wrinkled her nose in confusion. “What do you mean?”

I shrugged. “It’s weird to me that your name really isn’t Reese. But then I got to thinking, maybe it’s weird for you when I call you that, since you’re…you know, Teresa.”

Yeah, even saying Teresa felt funny. She wasn’t Teresa to me. She’d always be my Reese. But for her, I’d learn to call her whatever she wanted.

She just smiled. “Don’t worry. I’m more used to Reese than Teresa too since that’s what I’ve been called for as long as I can remember. I could never pronounce Teresa right when I was learning to talk, I guess, so it sounded like I always said Reesa when anyone asked me my name. Then Reesa eventually became Reese, and now here I am. One hundred percent a Reese. Although, I have to admit, I am used to signing Teresa. So it is a little awkward to write Reese on official documents, not to mention the Randall part.”

“Teresa…Nolan, right?”

She nodded. “I have no idea why I chose Randall for the new last name. I think it just sounded good with Reese so I went with it. And you know…” She paused thoughtfully, tipping her face to the side as she bit her lip. “If…when…all this with Jeremy is over, I think I’ll just keep Randall for a while. It’s grown on me.”

When she smiled, I smiled back softly, only to grow serious when she handed me my PB and J.

Watching her take her first bite, I asked, “Do you ever get scared, you know, worrying about him coming for you?”

With a roll of her eyes, she continued to chew until she swallowed and finally answered, “Only all the time.”

I lifted my eyebrows. “Really. Wow. I could never tell. I mean, there might’ve been small instances once or twice where you looked briefly haunted, but the moments would vanish so quickly they never put up any serious red flags for me. You usually act so unconcerned about everything.”

“Trust me. I’m way more on guard these days than I ever was before. I keep everything locked and secured whether I’m home or not. I never had mace or whistles or flashlights hanging from my keychain until him. And I even took a self-defense class this summer. I’ve definitely changed how I do a lot of things now.”

“That’s good.” I nodded, glad to know she still kept vigilant and on guard, no matter what.

She sent me a strange look, so I flushed and kept talking. “I mean, it’s always good to be safe and prepared, not just for that guy, but anything that might happen.”

She studied me a moment before smiling and nodding. “Too true.”

Then she took my hand and tugged me off the counter. “Now let’s get back to our marathon.”

After we finished the last movie in the series, Reese decided we should start with the first one since I didn’t remember anything from it.

We watched half of it together before my butt began to grow numb from sitting in front of the television for so long. Catching my wince, Reese stood and stretched, yawning and reaching for her remote to turn the movie off.

As she arched her back and strained her hands above her head, the front of her shirt pulled taut over her breasts, causing the hem to lift and reveal a line of flesh at her abdomen. My dick twitched as I watched the mesmerizing sight, and I wondered if she’d jump again like a startled doe if I grasped her waist and pulled her down onto my lap.

Before I could attempt it, though, she glanced at me, and said, “Your family’s going to forget who you are. You better get home soon.”

I blinked. What? Was she kicking me out? It felt a hell of a lot like she was kicking me out.

“O…kay,” I said slowly, even though the guy in me wanted to whine and stamp my feet and complain that we hadn’t even used any of the condoms I’d gotten earlier. They were still sitting by the front door, neglected. My poor cock felt neglected. And now she was kicking me out.

Dread and panic swelled in my throat. She must still be upset about whoever had texted my phone when I’d been out this morning. Or maybe she was feeling some of the guilt oozing off me because not telling her about Jeremy was definitely eating at me. It’d be a miracle if she didn’t sense some kind of tension from me.

I was so torn up with it that I couldn’t even argue when she found my shoes on the floor and tossed them to me.

Yep, that was definitely a dismissal.

I looked down at them a moment, hoping this wasn’t the end of us forever, and that maybe she just needed one night to deal with the fact that she was now dating an ex-gigolo. Drawing in a deep breath, I reached down and slid my shoes on.

When I stood, she was back to wringing her hands uneasily, and I suddenly felt just as unsure as she looked. Was it okay to kiss her goodnight?

Fucking hell. What in God’s name had happened in the past few hours to bring us to this? I didn’t like the distance. So I stepped forward, erasing it, and I wrapped my arms around her before I kissed her hair. Besides, at least this way I would know for sure that she was done with me if she stiffened in my arms and pushed me away.

But all she did was melt against my chest and gather fistfuls of the back of my shirt in her hands as she released a long breath of relief and hugged me hard.

“It’s going to be okay,” I told her.

She pulled back and smiled up at me as if thanking me for the reassurance. “I’ll see you tomorrow for lunch?” she asked. “At our table.”

“Definitely.” When I leaned down to press my lips to hers, she kissed me back heartily, even though she didn’t open her mouth for me. So I took that to mean she needed a night—just one night—off, but we weren’t over with forever.

I pulled back, smoothed my hand over her hair as I gazed into her eyes, grateful for everything I’d gotten from her, and then I turned toward the door.

But no sooner did I pull into my own drive when images of that Malfoy wannabe began to haunt me. What if the guy had been Jeremy, and he’d followed me from her place, where he’d been stalking us, watching me buy condoms and lattes, only to follow me back there? Fuck, why hadn’t I asked Reese if I could see a picture of her ex?

The sun had set and the evening was still warm when I made my way from my Jeep to the back door. I refused to glance toward the neighbor’s house, to check whether my own psycho was watching me or not. I refused to give her the satisfaction of knowing I was even thinking about her.

Sarah and Mom were at the kitchen table, eating a late supper. My sister smiled and waved, while Mom lifted her eyebrows as if surprised to see me. I grabbed a plate and joined them, because food. I never turned down food.

“So, you and Reese, huh?” Mom asked as she watched me construct a pile of salad fixings.

I shot her a quick glance. “You okay with that?”

“I…” Her gaze slid to Sarah before she turned back to me. “I mean, yeah. Yes, of course. I adore her. I’m just surprised. In a good way,” she rushed to add before a relieved kind of smile lit her face. “I’m just so happy to see you settling down.”

A.K.A. she was happy to hear I’d given up my side work, which meant she hadn’t been happy with me selling myself in the first place. That actually cheered me up. She’d never lectured me or demanded that I stop or even asked me to, but at least now I knew she’d cared enough to dislike it. Maybe the woman didn’t hate me after all.

I smiled back at her. “Yeah,” I agreed. “Me too.”

Sarah started teasing me then, begging me to marry Reese so she could have her as a sister. I tried to convince her that I was so awesome I was the only sibling she’d ever need. And she finally relented enough to agree that I was okay, for being a gross boy, but she’d liked to have Reese around forever too…for girl things.

Our bantering kept me busy through the rest of supper and into cleaning the dishes. After that, the kid talked me into reading some Harry Potter with her. Since I’d watched the movies all day and knew what was going to happen, I kept pausing to drop hints, which seriously ticked her off. When she slugged me and hissed, “Shh,” as soon as I would stop reading, I knew I’d done my big-brother job well and successfully aggravated her enough to cool it with the teasing for now. So I chuckled, giving in, and continued with the story without any spoiler alerts.

After she fell asleep, however, my worry about Reese mounted. I really didn’t like leaving her alone, even though she’d assured me earlier that she was being cautious. I decided to pop her a quick text.

Mason: Night, Sweet Pea. Sleep well all alone in that big empty bed without me.

Certain that would prompt some kind of response, either about the actual size of her minuscule bed or the chauvinist suggestion that she needed me around in order to sleep well, I frowned, a little concerned when it didn’t show that the message had even been read within five minutes. Maybe she was showering.

Or studying.

Or lying dead and broken in the middle of her living room floor.

Fuck.

I called her.

It went straight to voicemail.

That’s when I decided to head over and merely drive by her house, check to make sure everything looked okay. But once I got to her place, her car wasn’t around, which momentarily freaked me out, until I remembered, oh yeah, I’d never taken her back to pick it up after I’d driven her home Friday night.

Shit, I was going to have to get her back to her car eventually. Maybe I could pick her up for school in the morning and we could reunite her and her wheels after class.

When I realized I’d been idling in my Jeep, staring at her apartment like a total creeper, I went ahead and put it in park at the curb. I mean, I might as well figure out the car situation with her now. Since she wasn’t answering her phone, it seemed safe enough to come over personally and straighten everything out. She wouldn’t get pissed about me showing up again after she’d just kicked me out because of that logical reason, right?

I decided to take my chances, anyway. Better safe than sorry. Killing the engine, I opened my door and popped out to cross the street before jogging up her steps and knocking loudly so she’d hear me. A minute later, I drew my hands from my back pockets where I’d been resting them and knocked again.

Another minute after that, I told myself not to panic. Except it was obvious there was no life inside her apartment, and she couldn’t have gone far without her car. It was possible she was at her aunt’s visiting, but I couldn’t go there and find out; her aunt hated me.

“Reese?” I called, knocking a little—okay, a lot—louder this time.

“Trouble in paradise already?” a snarky voice asked from the base of the stairwell.

I whirled around to find Eva smirking up at me.

“Is Reese with you?” I blurted, forgetting Eva’s and my mutual dislike for each other. Worry overrode everything else.

She lifted her hands as if displaying her own body. “Do you see her with me?”

I rolled my eyes. “I mean, is she in the main house or anything?”

“I doubt I’d come all the way out here to visit her if she was in the house.”

It took everything I had not to growl at Reese’s aggravating cousin. Jogging down the steps to meet her, I said, “She’s not answering her door. Do you have a key?”

“Wow.” Eva pulled back as if flabbergasted by my demand. “You don’t really think I’d just let you break into her place while she was gone, now do you?” She splayed her hand out toward the driveway in front of the garage. “Her car’s missing; she’s obviously not home.”

I drew out a long, calming sigh before shaking my head. “No. She left her car at my place on Friday. She either has to be here or within walking distance of here.”

“Then, I guess she’s somewhere within walking distance of here,” Eva answered in exasperation.

“Or Jeremy has her up in that fucking apartment, tied to a chair, taking his knife to her again,” I exploded. “She’s not answering her phone, she’s not answering her door, and she’s not with her car. And no,” I added before Eva could ask, “we’re not fighting. At all. Everything between us is amazing, but my wicked bitch of a landlady threatened to call Reese’s ex and tell him where Reese was if I didn’t do what she wanted, so excuse the hell out of me for freaking the fuck out, but I just need to know that she’s okay. Alright?”

Eva blinked at me once before turning away and saying, “I’ll go get the extra key.”

My shoulders sagged with relief. Thank God.

She returned within the minute, jogging toward me where I paced at the bottom of the steps. “What the hell do you know about Jeremy, anyway?” she muttered as she passed me and hurried up the steps.

I followed directly on her heels. “I know everything.”

“And who’s this landlady bitch threatening to hurt my cousin?”

“Evil incarnate,” I muttered, only to pull up short when Eva whirled around after opening the door and pointed her keys at me.

“You stay out here,” she commanded. “If you’re lying, and the two of you really are fighting, then no way am I going to let you use me as a means to get to her.”

I lifted my hands and shifted a step back. “Fine. Just get in there and check on her.”

She rolled her eyes but turned away and disappeared inside. I bit my thumbnail and tapped my toe impatiently. When Eva appeared a minute later, shrugging, my shoulders sagged.

“Where the hell could she be?”

“I’ll call her,” Eva announced, pulling her phone from her back pocket.

It was my turn to roll my eyes. “I told you; Reese and I aren’t fighting.”

“Right,” she said dryly, clearly not believing me, only to frown and pull her phone from her ear. “Straight to voicemail.”

Told you, I wanted to mutter.

“I’m going to drive around, maybe head over by the campus or coffee shop and look for her,” I announced.

Eva nodded, her face paling, and her biting sarcasm vanished. “Me too. Give me your number; whoever finds her first lets the other one know.”

“Okay. Good idea.” The bizarreness of cooperating with Eva so cordially didn’t even faze me as I took her phone when she handed it over so I could call myself. Once numbers were exchanged, we nodded to each other silently and headed our separate ways.

Twenty minutes later, it was nearly ten thirty at night, and there was no sign of Reese anywhere. I returned to her apartment, my stomach cramping with fear. Hoping she’d come home while I was gone, I knocked on her door again, but no one answered.

Sitting on the top step, I gripped my hands together and forced myself not to panic. But where the hell could she be? And why had she turned her phone off?

I’d just pulled my phone from my pocket and was beginning to text Eva to see if she’d had any luck when a car on the street slowed and pulled into the drive, parking in front of the garage doors.

Realizing it was Reese’s car, I switched my message to say:

Mason: All’s good. She’s home.

Then I pocketed the phone and took a deep breath, forcing myself to remain calm and stay sitting there instead of jumping up and racing to her like I wanted to. If I overreacted, she’d sense how panicked and scared I’d been, and I didn’t want to alarm her.

“Mason!” Popping from her car, she waved big before flying up the stairs toward me. “What’re you doing here? Oh my God. You have no idea how happy I am to see you.”

Not as happy as I was to see her, I bet.

As soon as she plopped herself onto my lap, we came together, kissing greedily as if it had been years instead of hours since we’d last been together. I clutched her face in my hands and licked into her mouth, then stood up, carrying her with me.

“I couldn’t stay away,” I said, against her mouth as I turned us toward the door where she rushed to unlock it while I continued to hold her. “I couldn’t leave things like they were. Jesus, where the hell have you been?”

“I’ll explain later,” she said tossing down her keys and purse to wrap her arms fully around my neck. Then she kissed me some more.

After kicking the door shut, I leaned her against it and pinned her up off her feet with my hips as I ground against her core and ripped her shirt over her head. She wrapped her legs around my waist while I stripped away her bra.

“Oh, wow, you’re really good at this,” she panted, helping me with my shirt next.

“I need inside you. Now,” I growled, not really wanting to stop pressing my dick up against her through our jeans, yet knowing it was the only logical next step if I wanted to actually get inside her.

We both released a moan of complaint when I set her feet down and stepped back. Then we each rushed, Reese shedding her jeans completely and me only shoving mine down until my cock sprang free, which I promptly covered with a handy condom from the box that was still sitting nearby on the key table.

A second later, I picked her back up and pressed her spine to the door. Then I pushed my hips forward just as I let her slide down enough to impale herself.

“Oh, God,” she groaned, tossing her head back and panting as I worked steadily in and out of her, giving her no time to adjust to the change, just mercilessly fucking her full force straight out of the gate.

She came all over my cock in record time, crying out from the force of her orgasm and biting my shoulder to abate the intensity. The pressure of her sweet inner muscles squeezing around me made me clench my teeth and fight my own climax, because I wasn’t ready yet. I wanted this to last.

“What have you done to me?” I asked, staring dazedly into her eyes as I kept thrusting, unable to stop. “Why can’t I never get enough of you? Why do I always want more?”

Cradling my face in her hands, Reese smiled softly. “Because we’re soulmates, baby. Half of you is inside me, and you’re always going to want to be close to me so you can reunite with the other half of yourself and feel whole again. It’s the same way with me. I can’t get enough of you, either.”

My body tensed and strained, fighting off the orgasm that was on the brink of coming. Cradling her face the same way she was mine, I gasped, “God, I love you,” just before clashing our mouths together and coming so hard I saw stars.

We held each other a good five minutes into the aftermath, clinging together with an earth-shattering awareness that this thing between us went way beyond anything either of us had ever experienced before.

“Wow,” Reese rasped as soon as I pulled free of her. She slid down to sit on the welcome mat, her back still flush against the door. “I had no idea breaking the law could make a girl so crazy horny.”

I collapsed next to her, running my hands through my damp, sweaty hair and trying to make sense of her words. “Do I even want to know what you mean by that?”

Grinning at me, she announced, “I totally lied to you this morning.”

Blinking once, then twice, I cocked my head to the side. “Say what?”

“I mean…” Flushing, she laughed at herself. “Not an out-and-out lie, but a lie of omission to lead you astray. But not like, a terrible, earth-shattering—”

“Okay.” I lifted a hand to interrupt and get her back on track. “What exactly did you lie about?”

“Oh. Right.” Rolling her eyes at herself, she explained, “It wasn’t just any client that messaged you this morning. It was Mrs. Garrison.”

My face drained of color as I gaped at her.

“She wanted you to come back.” Reese rolled her eyes dramatically. “Said she had her finger on Jeremy’s number and was going to call him if you didn’t go over there tonight at ten.”

I glanced at my watch. Ten forty-five. Shit, what if she’d—Wait.

I snapped my attention back to Reese. She’d walked far enough to go somewhere close to my house in order to retrieve her car…and in turn, close to Patricia’s house.

“What did you do?” I gasped in horror.

Her smile bloomed proudly as her chin went up. “I answered the text for you, telling her I’d be there. Except, she thought it would be you who showed up. Not me.”

“You went to her house? You actually…holy shit, babe. What did you think to accomplish there? What did she do to you? Are you okay? Did she—”

Pressing her hand to my mouth, Reese cut me off with a scowl. “I just love your faith in my ability to take care of myself,” she muttered. “Really.”

I shook my head, my eyes wide with worry.

Wrinkling her nose, she turned her frown into a grin. “Though, I must say, your concern is seriously adorable.” Then she let go of my mouth so she could lean in and stamp a quick kiss to it.

“So, anyway. She was all, ‘what’re you doing here? Get out of my house.’ And I was like, ‘no way, bitch. Not until you agree to stay away from my man, foreva.’ And, well, you can probably guess how that went down. Like a turd in a punch bowl, that’s how. You’re just too irresistible to quit, even for a deranged, psycho cougar witch like her. So I broke into her laptop—well, I’d actually broken into it before she realized I was in her house, but you get the gist, right—and I sent an email to Jeremy, right in front of her, giving him my address, with a how-you-like-me-now smirk. God.” She clutched her stomach and blew out an amazed breath. “I wish you could’ve seen the look on her face when I took away her ability to blackmail you anymore. It was so classic. I might come again just thinking about it.”

I stared at her, not sure what to say.

No, wait. Yes, I did.

“You did what?” I cried. “But you…she…how could you send him your new identity? Are you insane?”

She scowled at me, only to pause and gasp as if remembering something. “Oh, that reminds me. I’d better check my inbox of that new,” she paused to wink, “email account I set up this morning.”

She lunged for her purse she’d dropped nearby and pulled out her cell phone. “I created it under the name Jeremy Walden. Need to check if I have any incoming messages.” After opening the app, she gave a gasp of mock surprise. “And what do you know, I do.”

When she showed me the new message from one Patricia Garrison, my mouth fell open. “You faked her out.”

Reese tossed her hair and lifted her face. “Yep. Now, how would Jeremy respond to this letter?” She drummed her chin and hummed to herself. “If you were a psycho stalker ex-boyfriend, what would you say?”

“Thanks?” was all I could guess.

She smiled at me and kissed my cheek. “Perfect.” After typing out her response, she pushed send and announced, “There. That sounds like something he’d say.”

I shook my head and shuddered out a breath, afraid to let myself believe my problems with Patricia might actually be over.

“This was dangerous, Reese,” I admitted. “I can’t believe you risked so much just to free me from her.”

“Hey.” Cupping my face in her hands, she smiled reassuringly. “I would risk it a thousand times over to help you any way I could.”

I leaned in and rested my forehead against hers. “I still don’t deserve you.”

“But I’m here anyway.” Fluttering her eyelashes against my cheek, she murmured, “Whatever will you do with me now?”

Drawing her in until she was as close as I could get her, I decided, “I guess I’ll just have to cherish you with every breath I have.”

I had an appointment with my advisor Monday morning before class. If I hadn’t set it up the week before and it was basically the only free hour we had open at the same time, I would’ve blown it off and stayed wrapped in Reese’s arms. As it was, I groaned in rebellion when I had to untangle my limbs from hers.

“I have a meeting with my advisor.” I nuzzled my nose into the back of her hair before reluctantly letting go and sitting up. “I’m tossing around the idea of changing my major to psychology.”

“Nooo,” Reese moaned, reaching for me, only to pause and open her eyes. “Wait. Really? Psychology?”

“Yeah.” I shrugged, feeling bashful. “A client gave me the idea, actually. I mean, not a real client. We never had sex, but she’d call me anyway because she was lonely and depressed and just wanted someone to talk to, and—oh! I forgot I was going to tell you about her. It’s Ethan Riker’s mom.”

“What?” Her eyes widened, and she sat up. “Ethan’s mom was a client of yours? Wait. You have clients who don’t actually want sex?”

I shrugged. “Had. And yeah, a couple. Amanda was definitely a different sort of case.”

“Amanda? That’s Ethan’s mom’s name?”

With a nod, I told her about how Amanda had tried to commit suicide, and how Ethan had blamed me, and how I’d been worried that Riker might’ve only asked her out as some sort of revenge against me.

“I called and checked in to see how she was doing. She finally answered her phone yesterday evening after I got home from your place. She’d already checked out of the facility she’d been in by then, and honestly, she sounded better than she’d ever sounded before. She seemed embarrassed about calling me that first time to even start our acquaintance, and she promised she’d never bother me again, even though I assured her I would answer if she did. But I guess the scare really brought her son and husband around. She said they’d actually talked to her, like genuinely listened and tried to understand her, so I hope this is the beginning of a better relationship for all of them. Anyway”—I blew out a breath—“the good news is she’s getting help now, plus I’m pretty sure Riker genuinely did like you. He didn’t just ask you out to try to piss me off.”

Throughout my story, Reese’s jaw just kept sagging lower and lower. “Oh my God,” she uttered once I was finished. “I can’t believe his mom was going through all that and he never mentioned a word of it. Wait, I can’t believe he asked me out while he was in the middle of a family crisis.”

Even though I agreed with her, I shrugged. “Some people deal in different ways, I guess. Anyway, the whole thing left me thinking… I don’t know. Maybe I want to help people with problems like that.”

“Aww.” She reached up and cupped my cheek. “You are just the sweetest. I think you’ll make the best, sexiest psychologist ever.”

I chuckled, kissing her nose. “And you’re not being biased at all.” My mouth caught hers, gentling and then lingering before I finally pulled away. “But I really have to go if I want to make that meeting.”

“And I really want you to become a psychologist so I guess I better let you.”

The meeting lasted all of five minutes. I told my advisor my idea, and he said, “Sounds good. Next semester, we’ll start gearing you toward classes to fit that plan.”

And that was that.

I left his office, thinking I’d text Reese and convince her to meet me here on campus for a morning of lattes together. But as I was walking down the hall, I caught a flash of pale blond Malfoy hair. Doing a double take, I met the guy’s gaze, only for his eyes to widen in surprise as if he hadn’t planned on being spotted.

Turning away, he turned down a different hall, trying to evade me. But I wasn’t having it today. Reese might’ve thought she’d stopped Patricia from contacting Jeremy, but if Patricia had gotten a hold of him before Reese had gone over to her house last night, then this still very well could be her psycho ex.

I hurried after him in hot pursuit. What I wasn’t expecting was for him to be waiting on me when I rounded the corner.

“Whoa,” I blurted, lifting my hands and skidding to a halt in order to avoid plowing him over. “What the hell?”

When he just stared at me with wide, worried eyes, I furrowed my brow, slightly confused.

“Have you been following me?” I finally demanded.

“Shh,” he hissed, glancing behind me and then grabbing my arm to drag me further down the hall. Then he whispered, “I need your help. You’re Mason Lowe, right?”

“Umm…yeah.”

Maybe this wasn’t Reese’s psycho stalker ex, after all.

Once he was satisfied we were alone and he had the right guy, he turned to me and said, “I messed up and slept with Patricia Garrison.”

This time, it was my turn to glance around suspiciously, but I was looking for some kind of hidden camera because I had to be getting spoofed right now.

“You… Why in God’s name would you think I’d want to know about that? Or care? I don’t even know you, man.”

“I know you don’t know me but I know who you are, and you and her… I mean, you got free of her, right? She said her last toy was broken and she needed a new one. That would be you, correct?”

I narrowed my eyes. “I’m not her fucking toy.”

“Well, you were something, and now you’re not. So how the hell did you escape? Because she’s threatening to tell my brother if I don’t sleep with her again, except I’d rather pull out all my teeth than go back into that bedroom because, holy shit, man… Do you know what she made me do?”

I winced, not wanting to know even a little of what they’d done. Lifting my hand to stop him when he opened his mouth as if he wanted to actually tell me, I said, “Look. I’m sorry you got yourself into this situation, but—”

“Ted would disown me if he found out I fucked her. He and Patricia are supposed to get married next week.”

“Holy shit,” I blurted. “That’s who your brother is. Wow.” I started to tell him how douchey he was for doing such a thing to his own blood, but then a question I’d been dying to get answered since I had learned she was engaged spilled out of me with, “Why in God’s name would anyone want to marry her, though?”

“Because she owns all the best development land in the county,” Ted’s brother said. “Now can you give me some pointers of how to shake loose of her or not?”

I merely shook my head. “I can’t believe you slept with your brother’s fiancée. Dude, that’s hard core.”

He scowled. “She got me drunk; I had no idea what I was doing.”

“Look,” I said. “Just come clean to your brother. Trust me, that’s the absolute best path you could take.”

Ted’s brother chewed on his lip thoughtfully. “But he’ll never talk to me again if I do.”

I made a face. “The guy’s your brother. He’ll get over it and forgive you…eventually, and hey, he might even thank you if he ends up not marrying her because of it, because he’ll have dodged a major bullet. You both should get as far away from her as possible. The woman is a viper, a bloodthirsty, blackmailing viper.”

Gripping his blond hair, the guy made an uncertain face. “Man, I don’t know. It’s such a risk.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “It is. But that’s how I did it. She kept holding things over my head and forcing me to do what she wanted, month after month, until finally I just couldn’t take it anymore. I had to risk everything. It was scary as shit, but…” I lifted my hands. “I made it through to the other side, didn’t I?” When I saw a woman walk past the hall we were talking in, only to pause and back up to glance at us, I sighed. “And…you just got made.”

The Malfoy wannabe glanced at me confused. I pointed toward Dr. Janison just as she disappeared again. “That was Monica, Patricia’s sidekick, right there. And she just saw you talking to me. They’re going to know something’s up.”

“Shit,” he hissed. “Maybe I can talk to her, ask her not to tell Patricia that she saw me anywhere around you?”

As he started away from me, in full pursuit of the English professor, I just shook my head. “Yeah, good luck with that,” I called, hoping he didn’t turn out to be quite as stupid as I’d been.

It had taken me way too damn long to learn my lesson.

Suddenly, I brightened, because hey, I really must’ve learned my lesson, and I was free of Patricia now, wasn’t I? Ted’s brother seemed to think I was, and she’d told him her last toy was broken. Did that mean she was done messing with me? God, the mere idea left me lightheaded with hope. And double perk: he hadn’t been Reese’s psycho ex, either, which gave me even more faith that maybe things were going to be okay.

Reese and I could be together with no more worries haunting us from either of our pasts.

Malfoy had taken up most of the time I would’ve used to meet with Reese before class, so I went ahead and headed to sociology without seeking her out. The hour dragged by; I swear I glanced at the time once every thirty seconds. And politics seemed to go even slower than sociology. Speech wasn’t so bad, but that was only because the shyest girl to ever walk the planet was scheduled to give her talk in front of the class. The poor thing had been able to fumble out maybe five stuttering words, sweat pouring down her bright red face, before she passed out cold on the floor. I felt awful for her, but at least she’d kept my attention.

After that was calculus, and I hurried that way, hoping to bump into Reese as she was leaving. Felt like I had a million and one things to tell her, from fainting shy girls to guys sleeping with their older brother’s fiancées.

So when I actually caught sight of her up ahead, I shifted my messenger bag on my shoulder, excitement leaping in my stomach. I winked at her when her gaze caught mine.

Her eyes widened as if she’d never seen me before. Then she threw herself forward, stumbling to a stop in front of me. At the same moment I noticed she was as white as a ghost and shaking like crazy, she wheezed, “Professor McGonagall! Thank God I ran into you.”

Uh…okay.

If this was some kind of kinky foreplay, I was so down.

She slipped her backpack off her shoulder and fumbled to unzip it, needing about four tries to get it open.

“I know it was due last Friday,” she told me, “but I finished my paper and I would really appreciate it if you’d reconsider accepting it late.”

She thrust forward an already graded essay with a bright red A at the top and notes in the margins, then bit her lip expectantly when she met my gaze.

Not really sure what I was supposed to say, I played along as best I could, narrowing my eyes like the stern teacher I was supposed to be. I mean, I guess stern was my role, right? I wouldn’t get to bend her over her desk like the naughty student she was being and punish her with a good paddling unless I was the stern type. A guy had to stay in character, after all.

“I told you no late assignments, Miss Randall.”

She got a little too deep into her own role when tears glistened in her eyes. “But I worked on it all weekend.” Damn, she even managed to put a worried tremor in her voice. How did she get that to sound so real?

Not wanting her to surpass me, I lifted an unimpressed eyebrow. “All weekend, hmm?” Oh, yeah, she’d definitely worked hard all weekend long. “On a paper you were supposed to be working on all semester?”

For a moment, she looked like she might strangle me, making me think that wasn’t the line I was supposed to deliver.

“Please,” she said with so much desperation I wondered if something else was going on here entirely. “Could you just give it a look?”

I nodded. “Okay, fine. But this is the last time I’ll make allowances for you.”

I reached for the essay, only for her to pull it back to her chest. “Wait. I… I need to sign my name.”

Her name was already there; I’d seen it clearly next to the A. When I watched her hands shake as she searched her bag, I swallowed, because something was wrong about this. Then she wiped at a tear, and I grew downright terrified.

“Here,” I said, giving her one of my own pens.

I tried to meet her gaze, ask her with my eyes what was going on, but she didn’t look up as she took the pen, rasping, “Thanks,” before she lifted her knee and scribbled Jer is here right below her name.

She handed the paper to me, but I’d already seen what she’d written.

“I see,” I said, trying to remain calm, even though I was freaking the fuck out. Because, what the hell? When had Patricia contacted him? Was this all my fault? And where exactly was here? In Waterford, or in this very hallway?

Then I realized he had to be pretty fucking close if she was talking in code?

Dammit. I couldn’t believe he’d found her. As soon as she pointed him out, the guy was dead. But first, I had to get her somewhere safe.

“You know,” I said, dropping the essay to my side and looking her straight in the eye. “Maybe we should go to my office and discuss this in more detail. I have an idea how you can make up some extra credit points.”

“No.” She shook her head adamantly, fear making her eyes big and her lips press flat. She took a step back, probably thinking to protect me, the silly girl. “No, I need to get to my next class.”

“Reese.” I caught her arm, not about to let her deal with this by herself. “Where?” I murmured.

And that’s when some dude I’d never met before in my life came up behind her and wrapped an arm around her waist as if he owned her. For a moment, I could only gape at him, dumbfounded to see someone else touching my Reese.

“There’s my Reese’s Pieces,” he cooed, making her jump and flinch, another tear trailing down her face. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you, baby.”

I lifted an eyebrow at him, taking a moment to figure out the most painful way to break his face.

The dickhead touching her lifted his chin my way as if we were pals. “So, you’re one of Reese’s professors, huh? You look kind of young to be a teacher.”

“That’s because I’m not,” I said dryly.

“Huh?” he said, tilting his face in confusion.

Seeing red, I whipped the strap of my bag up over my hand and threw it to the ground.

Jeremy was so busy blinking down at where it landed with a thud on the floor that he didn’t see my arm wind back before I swung it forward, punching him full in the jaw.

My hands wouldn’t stop shaking. As the sterilized scent of the hospital clogged my nostrils, I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against the wall, wishing this was all a bad dream.

When I heard footsteps approaching behind me, I looked up, thinking it was someone with news, but it was just a nurse walking by. She sent me an encouraging nod I wasn’t able to return. I was still trying to process what had happened in the last few hours.

After I had punched Reese’s ex in the jaw, scoring a direct hit, he’d lost his grip on her and went stumbling back in a daze until he fell flat on his ass on the floor.

Reese had been stunned. “You hit him,” she gasped. “I can’t believe you just hit him.”

“He tried to kill you,” I cried. “Hell, yes, I hit him.”

“But...” She shook her head before exploding, “That was just so cool.”

I grinned, glad I’d impressed her. But when I reached out to gather her into my arms, I caught sight of Jeremy over her shoulder, stirring on the floor. He lifted his shirt, and reached into the waistband of his pants to pull out—holy shit!

The fucker had a gun.

Terror gripped me. Reese was between me and a guy with a gun who wanted to kill her. I was so sure I wouldn’t move fast enough to save her; it was the most frightening moment of my life. Time went into slow motion as I grabbed her shoulders and shoved, probably dumping her right on the floor too. But her psycho stalker was pulling the weapon out and starting to take aim; I hadn’t exactly had the time to push her out of the way gently.

Worried he would still go after her, I leapt, widening my arms and trying to make a shield out of my body so no bullet could reach her as I tackled him.

I hit him hard before he could pull the trigger. My nose smacked into something, I think his temple, leaving me dazed. Before I could get my equilibrium back, I gripped his arm, reaching for the gun to get control of it.

Around us, people screamed and scattered.

I kicked Jeremy in the knee; he elbowed me in the jaw. The next thing I knew there was a deafening explosion next to my ear that probably permanently damaged my eardrums, leaving nothing but buzzing numbness in my head. I barely heard the second shot, but I swear, I felt the breeze of it caress my cheek because it came so close to getting me.

Acting out of desperation and the need to survive, I swung out my elbow, catching him in the face, and I startled him enough that I could rip the pistol from his hands. It was a good thing the police showed up then, I wasn’t sure I had enough energy left to hold him off if he’d tried to get it back.

And now, here I was, at the hospital two hours later, praying for good news. My jaw ached and would probably bruise, my ear still felt funny after the gun had gone off only inches from my face, and I had a bitch of a headache. Not to mention how sick to my stomach I was from the guilt.

Jeremy had come to town and found Reese. It had to be because I’d refused to sleep with Patricia. The bitch had called him after all, and now…

Shit, now someone could die. Because of me.

The two rounds Jeremy had released at the college had actually ended up going through the ceiling of the building. No one there had been harmed. But he’d hit his mark earlier, at Reese’s apartment, where he’d run into Eva before he’d gone to the college looking for Reese.

And now Eva was in surgery. She’d been conscious enough to call for help, but we had no idea how she was now.

Reese was a mess. When the officers had told her how they’d known to go to the college to find Jeremy—because Eva had told them—she’d burst into tears and then babbled out how Eva was pregnant.

I swallowed, trying to beat down the panic. Now, not only did I have Reese’s cousin to worry about, but her baby too. If anything happened to either of them, Reese would never forgive me. I didn’t know how to tell her the truth, but there was no way I could keep this to myself much longer. She needed to know this was all because of me.

When she’d gotten on her phone to contact both her parents and then Eva’s to tell them what had happened, I’d taken a quick walk down the hall, trying to figure out how I was going to confess what I’d done—or rather who I hadn’t done.

Shit, Reese was going to flip out when she learned today was my fault.

Thinking I’d been gone too long and should get back, I stopped by the cafeteria and bought her favorite drink, then hurried that way.

When I returned, she was off the phone and sitting on a bench with her eyes closed and back pressed to the wall, looking small and alone.

“I got you a white chocolate mocha espresso,” I said softly, sitting beside her.

Without opening her eyes, she shook her head, and her face crumbled into her despair. “I don’t think I could drink anything right now. But thank you.”

She held her hand my way, so I took her fingers and squeezed supportively. “Come here,” I said, tugging her into my lap so she could burrow her face into my chest.

As the dampness of her tears soaked through my shirt, I kissed her hair. “Eva’s going to be okay. I know it.”

“I still can’t believe he shot her,” she choked out. “He shot my cousin.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, my gut churning even more. “I know,” I rasped. “But she’s related to you; she’s tough. She’ll pull through.”

Reese held me tighter.

“Did you finally get a hold of her parents?” I asked, hoping to keep her distracted from her worries.

“Yes. They’re on their way now. They had just gotten off the plane in Phoenix when I reached them.”

“And what about Alec?” I said, wondering if she would even consider telling him about Eva. “If she’s really carrying his baby, don’t you think he’d want to know about this?”

Reese sniffed, lifting her face to scowl. “It is his baby, and, no. He broke up with her after finding out about it. I’m not calling that dick unless E asks me to.”

“Okay, okay.” I grinned slightly over her passionately defensive reaction. “I’m sorry. I just—”

“It’s fine.” She sank against me. “I just hope they’re both okay.”

“They will be. The cop said she was shot in the shoulder. That’s nowhere near the fetus.”

“But—”

“Shh.” I stroked a hand down her spine.

She fell quiet, petting my arm in return.

The squeak of rubber heels on the floor had both Reese and me lifting our faces.

“Shit,” I muttered just as Reese breathed, “Oh, thank God.”

“Wait.” Reese swiveled her face toward me, frowning in confusion over my obvious distress. “What’s wrong?”

I opened my mouth, not sure how to answer, so I just shook my head as Gidget-the-dog’s owner, wearing blue scrubs, paused in the entrance of the waiting room and looked around as she said, “Mercer family?”

“Here,” Reese called eagerly, forgetting about me as she hopped off my lap and hurried to the doctor, taking my hand and dragging me along with her.

The doctor turned our way, only to see me first and go sheet-white as she jerked to an immediate stop. “M-Mason?”

My fingers contracted around Reese’s, who whirled to me and slugged me full on the arm. “You have got to be kidding me,” she growled, scowling. “A doctor? A frigging medical doctor?”

Shit. “I…I’m sorry.”

My old client turned to leave.

But Reese snapped her attention to the fleeing woman, glaring fiercely. “Hey! Aren’t you going to tell us how Eva is?”

“Uh.” The doctor visibly pulled herself together and cleared her throat. “Of course. Sorry. I’m Dr. Masterson. I was the one who operated on Miss Mercer, and I’m happy to report she’s stable. Her vitals are strong, and she’s awake and lucid.”

“And the baby?” Reese asked.

“Still has a heartbeat.”

Reese leaned against me. I wrapped my arms around her, kissing her forehead.

Dr. Masterson watched me oddly, as if the idea of me actually having a girlfriend was impossible. “You can see her in a couple minutes,” she said a moment later, shaking her head and returning to business. “Once they get her to a private room, I’ll have a nurse come take you to her.”

“Thank you,” I answered, hoping she received that as a dismissal.

She did, nodding and backing away. “At least now I know why my call was never returned.” Then she glanced curiously Reese’s way. “Nice nose ring.”

Reese’s answer was to turn and scowl at me. “Why do all your ex-clients remark on my nose ring?”

I touched the tip of her nose. “Because it reminds them how young they no longer are.”

She blinked, seemingly baffled by my answer. “Younger people do not have a monopoly on nose rings, you know. I’ve seen plenty of them on women—and men—of all ages.”

“Ah, but it looks hot on you,” I argued before tipping my head in Dr. Masterson’s wake. “It makes them look grasping and old.”

She nodded right before hitting me in the arm again. “And I thought you said all your clients were bored, rich housewives. Successful doctors, college professors, and landladies don’t exactly fit into that category.”

With a blush, I muttered, “I said most of them were, not all.”

“Humph.” She crossed her arms over her chest and turned away slightly, only to reach back behind her a moment later and take my hand. I squeezed her fingers and ran my thumb over her knuckles until a nurse arrived to lead us to Eva’s room.

Mercer was her usual, annoying self, which told me she was going to be just fine. But it was still hard to look at her and not think about the fact that she was lying in that bed, looking pale and wounded, because of me.

Then she went and damn-near gave Reese her support of her relationship with me, which only made me feel crappier. When her parents rushed into the room, I faded out through the doorway before her mom noticed me.

Reese seemed to think that was her cue to leave too, because she followed me out and hooked her arm through mine as she glanced back worriedly toward the door. “They better not take the baby news as bad as I fear they’re going to.”

I nodded, hoping they reacted decently too. Eva was by no means my favorite person, but right now, she could do with a little kindness.

And it was so weird to think something remotely decent about her. But she was hurt because of me, so I couldn’t help it.

As Reese and I exited the hospital, she looked up at me and purposely bumped her shoulder against mine.

I met her gaze, and she lifted a hand, silently asking me what was up.

“I’m sorry,” I said, wrapping an arm around her waist.

She tipped her cheek toward my shoulder and laid her hand against my chest. “About what?”

“I had no idea Dr. Masterson was the one taking care of Eva.”

“Mason,” she cut in, looking up at me with worry. “I need to confess something.”

Not expecting that, I furrowed my brow. “Okay.”

Spotting a nearby bench, she took my hand and led me to it so we could both sit. Then she petted my fingers nervously.

This seemed serious. I started to worry. Was she going to break up with me?

Finally, she blew out a deep breath and gripped both my hands. “When you tackled Jeremy today,” she started, “and that gun went off, my heart stopped. I swear, it literally stopped in my chest. I thought… I thought he’d shot you, and I was ready to die right along with you.” She wiped at her face with a shaking hand. “Then it went off again, and I was certain you were dead.”

I tightened my hold on her.

“You cannot believe how relieved I was to see you roll off of him and take control of his weapon. I couldn’t believe you were actually alive, that I was so lucky. Even after I found out about Eva and I paced the halls of the hospital, wondering if she was going to make it or not, I still felt…lucky. I was just so glad it wasn’t you.”

Wow. I released a breath I’d been holding, overwhelmed with love and the power her words had on me. I was her person. That was huge. Humbling. Amazing.

“Do you understand what I’m saying?” she asked. “It doesn’t matter how many women paid you for sex, I won’t leave you because of them. I don’t think I could ever leave you for any reason.”

God. I smashed my mouth to hers, wanting to taste her truth because it was so delicious.

But she pulled away to wrinkle her nose at me. “But running into your old—and I mean, like, five years younger than God, old—clients is beginning to get annoying. We might have to move away from Waterford, where no one knows how much you used to charge.”

Amused by such an absurd announcement, I played along. “Where exactly did you have in mind?”

“Well.” She bit her lip and started to look nervous. And serious. Wait, was she actually serious? About moving? “I’ve been missing Ellamore. A lot,” she answered, meeting my gaze with a probing blue stare. “They have a great medical program at their university, and I’m sure their engineering and psychology departments rock too. Besides, it didn’t matter how far away I ran; Jeremy still found me. So I’m done running. I want to go home.”

Holy wow. She really was asking me to leave Waterford forever. My first response was, hell yes. I would love to get as far away from this pit of hell as feasibly possible.

“But Illinois?” I said. “What about Sarah and my mom?” I didn’t think I could ever move that far from my sister.

Reese chewed on her lip before she snapped her fingers. “I got it. We could bring them with us. My mom manages a hotel. She’s always looking for good, dependable employees. She could get Dawn a job, no problem.”

Damn, if she could actually accomplish that, this might actually work. Trying not to start hoping too much, I shook my head. “You have a solution for everything, don’t you?”

She merely sent me an expectant stare. “So what do you say? If we can get your mom on board, do you want to look into enrolling at Ellamore in the spring?”

I kissed her hard. “Yes,” I said, moving my mouth down her neck and delighting in her familiar sweet pea scent. “Yes. If it makes you happy and keeps us together, my answer will always be yes.”

This was exactly the kind of saving I’d always wanted but never thought was possible. Of course, I was all for it.

A week passed.

Eva began to heal, and Reese said she would probably be released from the hospital any day now, even though they had no idea where to take her once she left. Her parents had basically disowned her as soon as they found out about the baby.

I guess they demanded she get rid of it, but Eva adamantly insisted she wanted to keep it, which had surprised the hell out of me.

When Reese had told me that bit of information, I had shaken my head, unable to picture the pampered, selfish socialite I’d always seen in Eva as becoming the motherly type. “You mean, she actually wants the baby?”

“Yep, I guess.” Then Reese narrowed her eyes and pointed at me sternly before I could say anything else. “And yes, I know; stop looking at me like that. But I’ve heard of stranger things happening. Maybe she’ll be a kick-ass mom. Who knows? I mean, just her determination to keep it gives me hope that she’ll be okay. Maybe being shot, disowned, and knocked up is forcing her to change. Maybe for the better.”

Maybe. Hopefully. Because hearing the list of Eva’s woes made my gut tighten with dread. A third of those woes were my fault. I hated knowing that my decision to not sleep with Patricia had ended with Eva getting hurt. Almost as much as I hated being too afraid to tell Reese how I’d been involved in her cousin’s hospital stay.

“I asked her to move into my garage apartment with me,” Reese was saying, totally oblivious to my swirling remorse. “But since the place is owned by her parents, she wants nothing to do with that idea, and actually…” She winced and glanced at me. “I don’t really like the idea of staying there myself after what happened. I mean, how could they just wipe their hands of her, just like that? It feels wrong living in a piece of their property.”

I glanced at her knowingly. “Trust me. I get it.” I had sent Patricia our notice, letting her know we’d be leaving before the end of the year and would want our deposit back, though I wasn’t holding my breath on ever seeing that money again. But it couldn’t hurt to try.

I hadn’t even discussed the idea of moving out with Mom yet, but that just showed how determined I was to get away from our landlady. Even if Mom refused to come with me—an idea which sent panic through my extremities—I was leaving this town. Since Reese had entered my life, all my priorities and fears and dreams had changed.

Two months couldn’t come fast enough. Reese and I were escaping this place.

Reese squeezed my hand. “We just need to hang on a little longer, baby. And then we’ll both be free. Your mom and sister, too. I just know it.”

I loved her hope. But when I kissed her hair, in the back of my mind I wondered how I could ever really feel free from anything with all this guilt hanging over my head.

Except, I couldn’t see how Reese would forgive me for what I hadn’t done, either. I knew I needed to tell her it was my fault but I was still trying to figure out how.

The next day, I was still playing my hypothetical confession over and over through my head, debating the best way to tell her and maybe not lose her in the process, when my phone rang.

I was currently home alone while Mom and Sarah were gone to a doctor’s appointment. It was strange, being here by myself. I used to be gone a lot, working at the Country Club or taking on a client, and then more recently, I’d been at college most of my time. But since being suspended from the Country Club, I’d been home a lot more. I even watched Sarah for Reese quite a bit since Reese spent most of her time at the hospital with Eva.

The entire house felt eerily quiet. I grabbed my phone, glad for the distraction from my thoughts, hoping it was Reese.

But the number was unfamiliar. I considered ignoring it, thinking it was probably just another persistent client, except I worried it might be Reese or Mom needing to call from a different phone.

“Hello?” I answered warily.

There was a pause, then a relieved sigh before a man’s voice said, “Mason.”

He sounded vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t place how before he added, “This is Stuart Scharper. My wife, Farah, and I heard about all the excitement you had at the community college last week with the crazed gunman, and we just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Hey, Mason,” the senator’s wife piped in quietly. “That was really heroic of you, the way you tackled him and saved lives.”

I didn’t feel very heroic since it was my fault the guy had showed up in the first place. But I was even more confused about getting this call. “Uh…hey,” I said uncertainly. “Thank you.” I’d never expected to hear from them because of this. It was plain bizarre to learn any of my clients would actually worry about me.

“You’re a good kid, Mason,” the senator said, shocking me even more. “We really appreciate everything you ever did for us. So, if you need anything... I mean, we probably can’t help you publicly because of your, you know, your past. But if you ever need anything privately...” His words trailed off as if he expected me to start listing off a page full of requests.

“Thanks,” I said again, shaking my head over such a puzzling conversation. “But, uh, I’m good, I think. Thank you anyway.”

“Oh.” The senator sounded almost disappointed. “Well...”

He hesitated, so his wife took that opportunity to cut in with, “Can we ask you something?”

“Sure,” I said hesitantly, wondering why she felt the need to ask me if she could ask a question. It must be something really—

“Did you ever like it?” she asked. “The things you did with us?”

“Um...” I paused, not wanting to hurt her feelings.

Her husband sighed. “That’s what we feared. Make us a promise then, will you, Mason?”

“Okay,” I uttered, wincing over what they might want me to do. Just try it one more time; you might like it if we did this or that instead. That was not a promise I would keep.

“Never do anything like that again unless it’s what you actually want to do, okay?” Mrs. Scharper insisted, sounding like a scolding mother.

Oh, thank God. A promise I could keep…and wanted to keep.

I nodded, a relieved smile wavering on my lips. “Yes, ma’am. I won’t.” For some reason, I blurted, “I have a girlfriend now. That’s why I stopped. I...she… Everything’s changed.”

Mr. Scharper sounded amused when he murmured, “Things usually do whenever you find the right woman.”

“She is,” I said, smiling with pride.

“Good, good.” Then his wife asked, “Does she know? About what you were?”

“Yeah,” I admitted. “I mean, she knows a lot. Not...everything.” Hopefully, they didn’t think I’d broken my confidentiality agreement I’d signed with them. But then I went on, needing to talk about it, I guess. I don’t know why I spilled so much to two people who were basically strangers, but they’d called, concerned, so it just came out. “I feel guilty about not telling her some things, but then... I don’t know. I worry about how much she can handle hearing.”

“You should tell her,” Mrs. Scharper said decisively. “If this is going to be your life partner and you want her to trust you with everything, you need to trust her with everything in return, the good and the bad. If you know you can trust her, then it’ll be okay, and you’ll end up feeling better afterward. I have a feeling you’ll be surprised with how much she can actually take hearing. Open, honest communication is the key to any relationship.”

“Okay.” I nodded. “Thank you.”

Their phone call actually left me feeling a little more hopeful. After I hung up, I blew out a long, decided breath.

It didn’t matter how I told Reese the truth, I was just going to do it. I did trust her. I might not relish the idea of her knowing just how weak and stupid I’d been so many times, but she needed to know. And I knew she’d be upset, but something intrinsic and deep inside me also told me she would forgive me. I just had to man up, trust that part of myself, and tell her already.

Sighing, I scrubbed my hands over my face, not looking forward to the talk we needed to have when the back door opened.

I lifted my face, expecting Mom and Sarah to be home, or maybe—hopefully—Reese here to visit, but when Patricia strolled through my back door, I jerked to my feet, enraged.

“What the actual fuck?!” I roared. “How many times do we have to have this conversation? Get out!”

“Oh, Mason,” she murmured, shaking her head sadly. “How many times do I have to tell you…?” she countered. “Whenever you leave your door unlocked, I take it as an invitation to come right in.”

“Well, seeing as you’ve never actually fucking told me that before, I guess just this once will do. I’ll make sure to triple-bolt and bar the doors from here on out, whether I’m home or not.”

“Cute,” she murmured cattily before walking further into my kitchen and hopping onto the counter, making sure to sit exactly where I’d set Reese the first night I’d kissed her in this kitchen.

I sighed and rubbed my face, restraining myself from strangling the landlady. I really didn’t want to deal with this right now. And I really didn’t want to go to jail for losing my temper.

“So I just received your two-month notice,” she murmured, tilting her head as she watched me. “I can’t believe you think moving out is going to change anything. It’s not going to be that easy to escape me—”

“Will you just shut the fuck up,” I growled, pointing toward the door. “And get out already? This is getting old and annoying. Go learn some new tricks. Like kindness and decency maybe.”

“I’ve figured something out,” she announced, ignoring my demand as she began to swing her legs merrily, like a little kid, or like she thought it was something Reese might do, because it totally was.

God, she was such a bitch, trying to imitate my girl. She failed at it, big-time.

I ignored her, turning away to leave, because if she wouldn’t go, then I’d freaking go.

“Reese doesn’t know,” she cut in curiously. “Does she?”

Shit, I think the keys to my Jeep were sitting on the counter next to her. Whatever. I’d just walk somewhere, then. I only knew I wasn’t staying here with her.

“She still thinks you and I fucked that night, doesn’t she? She thinks you were some kind of noble hero and saved her from getting me to tell her little ex where she was.”

I was stupid, and I let that get to me.

Pausing before I hit the hallway to escape out the front of the house, I glanced at her, scowling. “I’m still not convinced you were the one who told him. I mean, you were still trying to get me into your bed the night before he showed up. I don’t think even you’re senseless enough to play your one trump card before you’ve gotten what you want.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Oh, so you don’t think I’m the one who contacted him, huh? You sure about that, big boy?”

I ground my teeth, fisting my hands at my sides. “Why are you still here?”

Patricia just grinned smugly, examining her nails. “Oh, I just wanted you to know how cute I thought it was that you keep so many things from Reese. You know, since you love her so much. But it’s probably best if she didn’t find out about us. I mean, her poor cousin was shot—and almost died—over the whole ordeal. We wouldn’t want her to know it was your fault, now would we?”

“So, let me guess,” I bit out. “You’re going to try to blackmail me into doing something else so I’ll ensure your silence? Except I don’t give a fuck about your threats anymore. I’m going to tell Reese the truth myself.”

Patricia laughed smugly. “Yeah, sure you will. She’ll never forgive you, but that’s okay. I still have a spot saved for you in my bed.” Her eyes narrowed. “Since you made me lose my fiancé, I have plenty of aggression to take out on you.”

I grinned for the first time since she’d walked in. “Oh, did you and Ted not make it? I’m sorry to hear there.”

“Fucker,” she snarled, hopping off the counter and storming toward me. “I don’t know what you said to his brother, but rest assured, I will make you pay for that.”

I backed away from her, glaring. “Don’t touch me, or I’ll break your hand,” I warned, even as I kept backing away from her, reversing so much that I reached the opening of the hall that led toward the front of the house.

Movement from the corner of my eye caused me to turn that way and make eye contact with Reese, who stood frozen at the other end of the hall, where she stood listening to everything Patricia and I had said.

Stopping short, I stared at her as she stared back.

Patricia faltered too, as if she knew from my expression that someone else was there. She must’ve thought it was either my mom or sister, though, because she instantly started to retreat. “Well, I just stopped by to say goodbye and wish you all the luck with wherever you’re moving to next.” Then she winked, whispering, “And good luck confessing everything to Reese. I’m sure she’ll love learning about all the lies between you two.”

When the door shut behind her, Reese waggled a couple fingers, waving her farewell. “Bye, Felicia,” she said.

I sighed and slumped against the frame of the hall opening. “How much did you hear?” I asked. “Or do I need to catch you up on most of it?”

“Well,” Reese murmured, strolling toward me, “I heard the part where Mrs. Garrison announced you two didn’t have sex that night, after all. After that, this loud buzzing in my ears blocked most of your conversation.”

My bottom lip trembled. “Fuck,” I rasped, bowing my head and closing my eyes. “I’m sorry. God, Sweet Pea. I’m so fucking sorry. I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t have sex with her.”

“Mason.” Warm fingers cupped my cheeks gently. When I risked lifting my face just enough to meet her gaze, she grinned and rolled her eyes. “I’m confused here. Please try to help me understand why in the world you’re apologizing for not having sex with another woman. Because I can guarantee you I’m okay with that. Like always.”

“But…” I sighed, still disappointed with myself. “She obviously followed through on her threat and called Jeremy. He showed up in town right after I didn’t—”

“Wait,” she cut in, holding up a hand and frowning with obvious confusion. “Were you not there when the officer told me how Jeremy really found out where I was?”

“What?” I blinked, shaking my head. “No. How did he find out?”

“He confessed everything to the police when he was arrested, I guess. At the hospital, they told me he broke into my parents’ house a few weeks back and went through some papers until he deduced my location. It had nothing to do with you or Mrs. Garrison at all. He’d been in town, staying at a hotel even before the night the landlady propositioned you.”

My mouth fell open. “But…” My head wobbled back and forth in disbelief. “Are you sure?”

She blurted out a surprised laugh. “Yes. My God, baby. Have you been worried all this time that Eva’s injuries and Jeremy’s arrival were your fault?”

“Well…” I winced, and my shoulders slumped. “Yeah, pretty much. I kept telling myself that if I’d only gone through with it and slept with her, you and your cousin would be—”

“Never, never, never feel as if you have to sleep with any woman for me? Okay?”

“But at the time, I thought it would save you. I wanted to save you. So bad. Yet, instead I-I…I chose me.”

“Mason,” Reese said very carefully, gazing into my eyes with nothing but love and acceptance. “It’s alright. You can’t save anyone else until you save yourself. You can’t love anyone else until your love yourself. Walking away from her was what you needed to do. For both of us. You did the right thing.”

Leaning in, she kissed my forehead and more forcefully repeated, “Okay?”

Gulping down the pressure that kept rising up my chest and into my throat, I nodded.

I loved this woman. I didn’t think I could ever love anyone the way I loved Reese. She made everything better. She made me better.

“Okay,” I murmured, still a little bowled over that this conversation had gone so much smoother than I’d feared it would. Until I remembered that I had actually slept with someone for her.

Sucking in a cringe, I said, “I need to tell you about your English professor.”

A sickened expression filled her face. Her complexion actually turned a grayish green. “Oh, God,” she uttered. “What?”

Closing my eyes, I told her everything that had transpired between me and Monica.

“Wait, wait, wait,” she cut in at about the time I got to the part where I’d stupidly given into Monica’s terms. “So… This all started because you cried out my name in the middle of—”

“Yes,” I muttered, pressing a palm to my forehead before gripping a handful of my bangs. “I know. I was an idiot who—”

“So you were pretty much mine all the way back before we’d barely even spoken to each other?”

“Reese,” I said dryly, “I told you, you had me the moment I heard your laugh across the college courtyard that very first day.”

“I know, I know.” She waved a distracted hand. “But this, like, proves it without a shadow of a doubt. Holy wow.” She let out a little squeal of joy. “You have no idea how happy I am to learn you didn’t touch the landlady that night. And you were already that fixated on me so early in our acquaintance! This is so awesome.” She jumped at me and hugged me hard.

I hugged her back, even as I sighed. “You are honestly the most unique person I’ve ever met. I just confessed to you that I did sleep with another woman, and you’re…excited?”

“Oh, I’m not excited about that. Pfft. Of course not. But I’m choosing to forget that part because it was before we ever got close and decided we were really together, and I’m focusing on the fact that you did abstain when it mattered the most to me. I’m so freaking happy you didn’t touch Mrs. Garrison that night.”

“So am I.” I hugged her back and closed my eyes against the relief. “And I really didn’t touch her, if you were wondering how far things went. Except to grab her wrist to stop her. We got to her bedroom, and she had me take my shirt off, then she put that hickey on my chest. But when she tried to open my pants, I freaked. I just…I couldn’t do it. So I grabbed her wrist, spit in her face, and walked out.”

Reese’s jaw dropped. “You spit in her face? For real?”

I nodded. My girl grinned and offered me a congratulatory fist bump. “You rock.” Then she sprinkled kisses all over my cheeks. “I’m so happy to hear all this. You can’t believe how much I love hearing this. I would get sick to my stomach every time I even thought about you and her together, but knowing it didn’t happen… Oh, God. This is great. This is just…it’s…”

Her brow furrowed before she stepped back and winced at me. “Except, do you think it’d be okay if we went ahead and let Eva think you really did sleep with her?”

“Um…” I squinted before saying, “I wasn’t aware Eva knew anything about it.”

“Oh, right. That.” Reese blew out a harassed breath and ran her hands through her hair.

“So, she told me about some conversation you and she had the night before she was shot, you know, while I was out confronting Mrs. Garrison. She knew something had gone down there, and I felt I needed to tell her everything because, you know, she’s already going through so much. But then she tried to get all upset and judge-y on my behalf, mad at you for sleeping with someone else. So I went off on her a little and made this huge production about how honorable and protective I thought it made you, because you did it for me, when in reality, it just made me clammy and ill to think about. But I didn’t want E thinking anything bad about you, so I defended you big-time, and now she thinks this is what I really did want, which is a total lie, because I’d rather face Jeremy down a hundred times over than have you near that woman. But now that, whew, I know you didn’t sleep with her, I can’t eat my own words and tell Eva never mind, it’s all good now after I made such a big stink of supporting what you’d done, and—”

“Reese.” I covered her hand to stop her from rattling on further. “It’s okay. We don’t have to tell Eva the truth if you don’t want to.”

“Really? Okay, whew. Thank you. Not that I advocate lying, or anything like that. I am so much happier that you told me the truth, but—”

I kissed her to shut her up.

“I have no problems lying to Eva,” I confessed against her mouth. “The only person I can’t seem to handle lying to anymore is you.”

“Oh. Good. I love that answer.”

She kissed me back.

I started to return the kiss, only to pull away and lift a finger. “Which reminds me, I should probably tell you everything about Ethan Riker, too, and his getting me suspended from work at the Country Club.”

Reese blinked once before her face flooded red with rage. “He did what?”

I’d like to say that once Reese and I decided to leave Waterford forever, the rest of it was smooth sailing, but wow, there was so much we didn’t consider, so many problems to wade through. I think we were both equally determined to make it work, though. Nothing that got in our way was going to stop us at that point. Not money, not past lies, not terrible landladies, not anything.

We did try to figure out all the details before presenting the idea to our parents, though. Cuddled together on her couch in her apartment above the garage with my laptop settled in my lap, we made a list of everything to consider. Across town, her cousin was recuperating in a hotel room, but we had no idea how long that would last.

“I have a feeling we might have to bring her back to Illinois with us.” Reese bit her lip as she looked up at me, as if she expected me to reject the idea immediately.

I could only shrug. Even though I now knew it wasn’t my fault Eva had been shot, I still somehow felt responsible for the poor little rich girl who’d fallen so hard on her luck. And I ended up saying, “Yeah, whatever she needs. I mean, she’s your cousin. We can’t just let her and her baby go destitute.”

“My God,” Reese murmured, gazing at me in awe as she shook her head. “I’m not sure how I could love you any more than I do right now.”

I grinned as she came in for a kiss. Her mouth was so sweet and giving, I groaned and pushed my computer out of the way so I could tug her into my lap. I could never get enough of this girl. Never.

But thinking of Eva, and Reese’s family, and me moving to Illinois with them, I lifted my face, even as I licked Reese’s delectable taste from my mouth.

“What are your parents going to think of me?” I asked. “Eva’s mom knows what I am—er, what I was. You think she’s not going to tell her sister about my sordid past? I mean, we don’t want them knowing about that, right? And technically, we’ve barely been dating a week. They’re going to think—”

Reese stopped my worried flood with a gentle kiss to my lips.

“It’s going to be okay, baby,” she murmured, her smile soft and tender. “Not only am I an adult who’s going to do what I want concerning you whether they approve or not, but Mom and Aunt Mads aren’t even speaking to each other anymore because of the mess with E. They had a huge, blow-out fight, Mom saying Eva should keep the baby if she wants it, and Aunt Mads not about to accept such a scandal from any daughter of hers.” Reese rolled her eyes and sighed. “I’m not very happy about how E’s parents so scornfully turned their back on her either.”

“Don’t worry,” I assured, squeezing her fingers. “We’ll make sure Eva makes it through okay.”

Reese nodded and smiled appreciatively. “Thank you.”

I winked at her and returned my attention to the screen of my laptop, pulling it on top of both of us. “So, do you think we can fit all our shit into one big moving van?”

“I hope so,” Reese answered, her mouth falling open when she read the price for van rentals over my shoulder. “Because, holy shit, I wouldn’t want to pay that for more than one of them.”

I nodded, clicking out of the site. “We’ll make everything fit then or leave shit behind.”

Hugging my arm as I logged into my checking account to see how much money we had to work with, Reese rested her chin on my shoulder and said, “So how are we going to do this? Are you going to live with Sarah and your mom, and I move back in with my parents, until…until…”

“Until when?” I asked, lifting my face and blinking.

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Until we get to know each other better and date a while first?” She winced. “Though the idea of moving back in with my parents after living here on my own does not appeal at all. Besides…” She bit her lip. “I’m kind of really looking forward to living with you.”

“So am I,” I admitted, touching her hair reverently. I definitely wasn’t planning to move halfway across the country to live away from her, anyway.

She beamed, grinning with pleasure and surprise. “Really? You are? That’s so awesome. We’re actually going to live together. Soon. Oh my God, this is so exciting. But…should I move in with you, your mom, and Sarah, or should you and I find our own…?”

When I sent her an odd look, she laughed, the question trailing off, unasked. “Yeah,” she admitted on a cringe. “I don’t want to live with your mom and Sarah either. That would get kind of embarrassing for those nights when I make you come so hard that you scream and carry on like you do.”

“Oh, I’m the one who screams and carries on, huh?” I asked with raised eyebrows.

She nodded astutely. “You do. It’s super loud and obnoxious. But I love you, so…” She drew out an exhausted sigh. “I deal.”

“The trials you go through to put up with me,” I agreed dryly.

She grinned. “For real.”

I chuckled and pulled up my savings account information.

“So, I think we can afford moving across country, then put down deposits for two rentals, and hopefully most of Sarah’s medical expenses and food and utilities, and everything else for about…oh, six months maybe, without any of us making any extra income. If it comes down to that, anyway.”

“Wow, that’s…” She finally focused on the total I had pulled up on my savings account, and her words choked off as her mouth dropped open. “Oh my God, Mason. That’s a lot of zeroes.” She turned to meet my gaze with a dazed expression. “Why have you been so worried about money?”

I shook my head and glanced at the sum as well, a little proud of what I’d been able to squirrel away. “You’ve obviously never been so broke that you got insomnia at fifteen because you were worried your sister might die because you couldn’t afford her medicine that month.”

“Oh, Mason.” Reese’s eyes filled with sympathy as she covered my hand with her own.

“I’m sorry, I—”

But I wasn’t done yet. I wanted her to truly understand, to know it had always been about the money, only the money. “We were so broke I wasn’t sure where we’d be living from one month to the next because we were evicted so often for being constantly behind on rent.”

She looked pained to hear this. “Please, you don’t have to convince me—”

“We were so broke,” I went on forcefully, “I remember feeling guilty for buying rice, and cereal and milk for a week’s worth of groceries.”

“Dear God.” Reese hugged me hard. “I had no idea.”

I stroked her hair. “After that, I could never make enough or save back enough to feel completely secure. I think I’ll always carry around an innate fear of being that poor again.” I met her gaze. “That’s also why we never moved after I started…you know, after what I became. Even though she owned our place, it’s the most permanent home Sarah and I have ever known.”

Reese’s shoulders sank. “And here I am, forcing you guys to move again.”

I covered her hand with mine. “Trust me. This move will be okay. It’s entirely different now. When you don’t have to move out of necessity and you’re moving because you just want to, it’s actually kind of exciting. I am honestly so ready to get away from that witch, I swear I’m vibrating with impatience.”

Reese made a big show of touching my arm before she nodded. “Yep. I think I do feel a subtle tremor in there.”

I winked. “Well, that’s just because you touched me.”

Reese smiled and kissed my cheek, sliding her hand up and down my arm hypnotically. “Have you thought about how we’re going to convince your mom to move halfway across the country with Sarah?”

I shrugged. “If we do all the muscle work of finding her a job and a place to stay before we even present the idea to her, I think she’ll be fine. I honestly believe she’s as miserable here as I was before you arrived. Nothing’s tying her to Waterford. If we offer her a new life with a neat little bow tied on top, I think she’ll jump at the opportunity.”

Reese nodded. “And, hey, last time I talked to my mom, she was actually complaining about needing some reliable people to work for her. I didn’t even bring it up, so I bet we’ll get lucky there. We just have to find her an apartment, and—oh! Wait…” She looked up, her eyes extra blue in this light. “Does you mom prefer renting a full house, or would an apartment be okay too?”

My lips twitched in amusement. “After the shitholes we’ve lived in, she’d be happy with four standing walls, electricity, and water.”

Reese pointed her pen at me. “Heat and air too,” she said. “Remember, you’ve moving to Illinois.”

“Holy shit,” I murmured, faking shock. “I’m going to have to buy, like, a coat or something, aren’t I?”

Reese snorted. “God, you’re so cute. You’re going to have to get an entire winter wardrobe, Florida boy. Not just a coat. Probably some gloves, scarves, boots, and stocking caps. Ooh, I bet you’ll look really hot in lumberjack-type boots.”

“Jesus,” I sighed, thinking about the headache buying a new wardrobe for not just me but Sarah and Mom too was going to be. “Clothes,” I said as I typed that onto my list I was creating in a word document.

“And maybe some chains for your Jeep’s tires,” Reese added helpfully. “For when it snows fifteen inches at a time.”

I glanced up. “Snow?” Knitting my brow, I asked, “That’s the cold, white, wet stuff, right?”

Reese rolled her eyes. “Go ahead. Be funny. You think I’m joking about the culture shock you’re going to experience, but don’t say I didn’t warn you when you’re freezing your balls off come December.”

Wrapping my arms around her waist, I burrowed my face into her neck. “I was kind of hoping I’d have you around to keep those warm.”

“Always,” she murmured, cupping my cheeks in her hands. Then she blew out a breath and shook her head. “I still can’t believe we’re actually doing this. I’m going home, and you’re coming with me! It’s just… It’s so crazy awesome.”

I nuzzled my nose into the hair at her temple. “Having second thoughts yet?”

She shook her head. “No way. It just feels too good to be true.”

“Every moment with you feels that way for me, so this isn’t much different.”

Sighing out her pleasure, she kissed my cheek and hummed when she must’ve felt some hardness growing under her ass. Then she ground against my erection and gently bit my earlobe. “Just promise me something,” she murmured in my ear as I began to unbutton her shirt.

“Anything,” I said, kissing the swells of flesh above her bra as soon as I exposed them.

“Never stop loving me.”

“Done.” I lifted her up, so I could work on opening her jeans.

“I’m serious, Mason.” Stroking my hair so I’d look up at her, she met my gaze with solemn blue eyes. “This thing between us is bigger than anything I’ve ever experienced before. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Teresa,” I murmured, saying her real name so she’d know I meant every word I said. “You’re in my blood. I’d have to bleed out completely and die before I could give you up. I’m not going to stop loving you.”

Her chest heaved as she drew in the impact of my words. And even though her eyes smiled with love, she managed a cringe. “That’s a little morbid, Hotness, but I’ll take it.”

“You better,” I growled, shedding her jeans down her thighs, “because I’m giving you all that I am.”

She opened my jeans in return and started to sink down on top of me. I loved taking her bare. And since she’d gone on birth control and I’d gotten thoroughly checked out, that’s all we did now. My mouth literally watered in anticipation of that first thrust.

“I guess that makes us even then,” she answered before impaling herself, making me groan through the overwhelming pleasure.

Six Months Later

Ellamore, Illinois

“Is it just me, or is it really fucking weird that those two are hooking up?”

Pausing my search under the counter of the bar where I now worked, I glanced up at one of my new coworkers who’d come over to lean on the bar directly beside me so he could ask me that very question.

I wrinkled my brow, utterly confused. “What two?”

Bartending was the first job I’d found since moving to Ellamore with Reese. And it was just in the nick of time too. I’d been right about my mother; she’d been more than ready to leave Waterford and start over in Illinois. And Reese had been right about her mom finding mine a position at the hotel she managed. But I’d also been right about the money situation.

After moving across the country, getting Mom and Sarah set up in a cozy bungalow-style house, finding an apartment for me and Reese, and then taking in her pregnant cousin, who had shown up on our doorstep a few months back with no place else to go, most of my reserve had run dry.

I tried not to panic about that, but Reese had to calm me down more often than she probably should’ve because we were still making it through okay. And she’d even done some research to find us some government-aided assistance for Sarah’s expenses, so that was helpful. The tips here weren’t bad, either—not quite as lush as hush money from senators and their kinky wives—but we were getting by. That was, we’d get by as long as I wasn’t fired for being unable to mix a good, stiff drink because I seriously sucked at bartending.

My new coworkers ragged on me constantly because of my sorry skills, but for some reason, that only made me feel more included than excluded from their group.

They were an interesting mix of guys—most of them football jocks of all things—but they meshed more like family than colleagues. I had a good feeling about them, especially after last week when they’d had my back when the dreaded event had happened.

Ten—whose real name was Oren, but his last name was Tenning, so he’d been dubbed Ten—snagged a toothpick and plucked a cherry from the garnish tray before popping it into his mouth. Nodding his head toward a table in the back, he answered with, “Those two.”

I lifted up just enough to peer over the counter, where I spotted another coworker of ours: Noel. From what I’d gathered, he and Ten were roommates. Since Noel wasn’t scheduled to work tonight, he was here as a customer, enjoying his evening with a lovely lady companion. The weird part in all of that was that Noel was a student at the university where Reese and I had enrolled this semester, and the lady with him was his, mine, Reese’s, and even Ten’s English professor.

Their whole taboo relationship would’ve made me shudder in horror and remember my own experiences with Reese’s professor back at Waterford, except this professor seemed like she was the very opposite of Monica Janison. Something about Dr. Kavanagh reminded me of Reese. She had a certain youth, and purity—or maybe it was innocence—I couldn’t quite describe. She just wasn’t as jaded and evil as Dr. Janison. Whatever it was about her, it was a quality I liked, so I was actually rooting for Noel and Kavanagh to last…somehow.

“You think he calls her Dr. Kavanagh while he’s doing her?” Ten wondered, appearing perplexed by the scene before him. Squinting, he tilted his head to the side as if he were trying to picture them in different positions.

Noel laughed at something Dr. Kavanagh said before he reached out to lovingly tuck a piece of her hair behind her ear as if he needed an excuse to touch her. Ten blinked and shook his head, looking dazed.

“I seriously doubt it,” I answered, ducking my head back under the counter and shoving aside a bottle of Jack to see if my wallet had fallen behind it.

“It’s just so weird,” Ten repeated, unable to stop staring. “He seems to really like her.”

“Yeah,” I agreed dryly. “Weird. A man and a woman like each other. Whoever would’ve guessed such a crazy phenomenon was actually possible?”

Dammit. Where had I left my wallet? I hadn’t been able to find it anywhere at home. I was so sure I’d left it here somewhere.

Ten scowled at me and kicked my leg with his foot. “I’m just saying, it’s Gamble. You didn’t know him before he went all relationship committed like this. This is just so unlike him to focus on one, single chick. And she’s our fucking teacher, man. That’s got ‘doomed’ written all over it. If they get caught, he’ll get kicked off the team and lose his scholarship, and his entire future will be fucked, right along with his little brothers’ and sister’s futures too. You know he sends money home to them, right? He’s the only thing helping them get by.”

“Really?” I looked up in surprise, not aware Noel had younger siblings he took care of. It made me think of Sarah and all the shit I’d gone through to help take care of her. Feeling a sudden kinship with my new coworker, I glanced over the counter toward Noel again. He was holding Dr. Kavanagh’s hand now, saying something that made her smile and duck her head bashfully.

“Huh,” I murmured softly. “I didn’t know that.”

“Well, it’s true,” Ten spat. “And on top of all that, he’s going to get his fucking heart broken. Why would he risk so much? Because how the fuck are they really going to work?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know,” I said seriously. “Some women are just worth risking everything for.”

Ten snorted. “Bull…shit. There are too many chicks in this world, so many of them soft and curvy and amazing, that you can just interchange one for another whenever things get complicated. None of them are worth risking that kind of clusterfuck for.”

I smiled, amused by his complete naiveté. The guy definitely hadn’t met his Reese yet. “I’m going to enjoy the day you meet your soulmate, and you have to eat all the crap you just spewed.”

With a dry glower, Ten muttered, “Never gonna happen.”

I chuckled and shook my head before I went back to searching.

“Lowe!” a new voice said in surprise as a third man joined us behind the counter. I looked up to find my coworker that everyone called Pick—no idea why—as he carried a crate full of bottles to the cooler before opening the door and stocking it. “What’re you doing here on your day off?”

“I’m looking for my wallet,” I grumbled, feeling lame for misplacing it in the first place. “I can’t find it anywhere at home so I was hoping I’d left it here.”

“Oh. It’s right there,” Ten said, pointing toward the other end of the counter.

“What?” I whipped my head that way and nearly smacked my palm to my forehead, groaning over my own ineptness. Why hadn’t I seen that before? And, “Why didn’t you tell me where it was when I first got here?” I scowled at Ten, nudging his shoulder as I passed.

“Huh?” His attention had already moved back to Noel. “I didn’t know what you were looking for.”

“I told you I’d lost my wallet as soon as I walked in.”

“Did you?” His voice was distracted. “Oh. Sorry, man. My bad.”

I rolled my eyes. I’d been bad off lately, but maybe not as bad off and unfocused as he currently was. The dude was seriously worried about his roommate.

“Will you stop staring at them,” Pick hissed, smacking Ten on the back of the head.

Ten obediently turned away, even as he whined, “But it’s so fucking weird. How could one woman just completely change him like that?”

“I guess you’ll understand when you meet the one woman you’re willing to change for,” Pick murmured, finishing up his task and stowing the empty crate on a free shelf under the counter.

Ten narrowed his eyes. “Why does everyone keep saying that shit to me?”

Pick glanced my way, and we shared a smile. “Speaking of special ladies,” he said. “How’s that lovely cousin of yours? Still pregnant?”

Jesus, Pick had been obsessed with Eva since she’d stopped by the bar last week with Reese. But I was studiously trying to forget that night had ever happened, so it irritated me to be reminded of it.

“She’s Reese’s cousin,” I bit out. “And yep, still pregnant.”

I had no idea why Pick was so interested in her, although even I had to admit Eva had mellowed a lot and become considerably less obnoxious since her parents had kicked her out and disowned her, leaving her pregnant, broke, and homeless. It still bewildered me why Pick seemed to like her. Then again, to me, no one could show Reese up, so… To each their own, I guess. But he was kind of strange about his curiosity; he alternated between not remembering who she was if I mentioned her to being the one to bring her up. I think he was trying to hide just how much he thought about her.

Pick nodded and opened his mouth as if he wanted to ask more but held himself back for reasons unknown. Then he turned away, and I swear he said, “Just take care of her for me.”

I exchanged a glance with Ten, who lifted an eyebrow as if he also thought that was a freaky strange sentiment.

So I turned back to Pick. “What?”

He shifted his attention to me. “I said, take care, man.” Then he waved, smiling tightly. “Have a good night.”

“Yeah.” I blinked and scratched my head. “Okay.”

That hadn’t been what he’d said at all, but I waved him goodbye, anyway, and then nodded to Ten, who just shrugged, mumbling, “I swear, the whole fucking world’s gone weird,” as he went back to watching his roommate as if he were ready to jump over the bar and smack Dr. Kavanagh’s hand if she dared to touch his roommate the wrong way.

Glancing toward the lovebirds, I felt the need to see my own soulmate, so I hightailed it out of there. I’d been bad about that these past few days, constantly checking on Reese to reassure myself she hadn’t left me. I’d become increasingly clingy and yet distant all at the same time. I know, being torn in two polar opposite directions should be familiar for me, but this felt extreme. I was just so ashamed about the event that happened last week that I wanted to burrow away in humiliation and hide from Reese, all the while this need to linger near her warred within me.

But honestly, ever since Patricia had come to Ellamore and walked into the bar last Thursday, trying to proclaim to the entire world that I’d gotten her pregnant, I couldn’t control myself. I’d been freaking the fuck out.

I had been so certain we’d left her behind for good when we’d moved away from Waterford. She’d ruined everything when I’d looked up and seen her standing inside the nightclub just on the other side of the counter. These last few months here had been nice; I hadn’t even cared about how quickly I’d gone broke again.

Reese made it all okay.

Except how could things really be okay when my past was still trying to haunt us?

And that made me not okay. Not at all.

The apartment was quiet when I walked in. Instant fear covered me. Shit. Had Reese left and taken her annoying cousin with her?

I hurried down the hall to our room and nearly sagged against the doorframe in relief when I found her sitting cross-legged on our bed, her laptop on the mattress in front of her as she rested her elbows on the covers and typed away, probably working on that paper she kept stressing over.

When she noticed me, she glanced up and started to brighten, until I detected a hesitation in her expression. “Hey. Did you find it?”

“Yep.” I held up the wallet to show it off. “Under the counter at work, right where I thought I left it.”

She smiled sadly, watching me toss the billfold on top of our dresser next to her nearly empty bottle of sweet pea body spray. “Thank goodness. It would’ve been a pain in the ass to have to replace everything in there.”

I nodded, and an awkward silence followed. Before last Thursday, I would’ve gone to her and stretched out on the bed beside her, hoping she’d give me a back rub…or a front rub. Or I’d at least have gone to her to kiss her hair before letting her get back to her homework. But today, I shifted uncomfortably, not feeling as if I had the right and yet itching to just touch her for my own sanity.

Ever since Patricia had shown up, her clothes stuffed full of padding to make her look pregnant as she claimed the baby was mine, I’d been seriously fucked up in the head. She must’ve assumed I hadn’t told Reese the truth by now and that Reese still believed I really had slept with her back in September. And that freaked me out, because... What if it made Reese question everything she thought she knew? What if she wondered whether I really had done shit with Patricia after all? I didn’t want her to ever question that, and it killed me to even think she might. There was no way I could actually talk about it with her either: I was too afraid to see doubt and loss of faith in her eyes.

The whole thing messed with everything we’d worked so hard to build together, and I didn’t know how to dig myself out of this rut I was creating between us.

Scratching the back of my neck and not sure what to say, I glanced down the hall and frowned. “Eva around?” She was being unusually quiet if she was.

“Yeah, I think she’s in the kitchen making a snack.”

My eyebrows shot up. “Really? I wonder if she’s fixing anything good.”

Reese grinned affectionately. “Good luck getting her to share any of her food with you. I swear, preggo E is like a starving dog at its food bowl. She’ll likely snarl and bite your fingers off if you go anywhere near the kitchen right now.”

I pressed a hand to my heart. “Ah, but you know me, Sweet Pea.” With a wink, I backed out of the doorway. “If there’s food around, I must try to steal it.”

She rolled her eyes. “Well, good luck with that. Feel free to come to me to kiss your boo-boos all better when she smacks your hand black and blue.”

“Count on it.” I blew her a kiss and left the doorway, feeling guilty about leaving her even as I wanted to escape. I just couldn’t stop feeling slightly off around her, even though there was nowhere else in the world I’d rather be.

“What’re you making?” I asked as soon as I stepped into the kitchen and found Eva studiously smothering carrots, apples, and celery with peanut butter.

And seriously, what was wrong with me? Why was I opting to be around Eva right now, instead of Reese?

Eva glanced up and narrowed her eyes, pointing the butter knife in my direction. “You,” she hissed.

Then she grabbed my arm and tugged me close, way closer than I was comfortable being to her.

“Hey.” I tried to pull free, but she was having none of it.

“This has to stop,” she growled, glancing warily toward the opening of the kitchen as if making sure Reese wasn’t behind me.

“What?” I cried innocently. “I just walked into the kitchen, for God’s sake.”

Finally pulling loose, I scowled and made a production of dusting myself free of all things Eva.

She sniffed. “As if. Your nonstop moping is sucking the life out of Reese. I hope you realize that.”

Ah, shit. Even Mercer could see what was going on. That couldn’t be good. But, “What the hell am I supposed to do about it?” I snapped right back. “I can’t stop what happened. It already happened.”

“Yes, it did,” she agreed calmly. “But it’s over and done with. All you can control now is how you react to it. And you’re having a really bad reaction. It’s dragging Reese down with you.”

Dammit, that was the very last thing I wanted. Reese should always be happy. Life wasn’t right unless she was happy.

I hated that it was my fault that she wasn’t happy.

I hated all of this. And I hated getting a lecture from Eva for it, too.

“Don’t you think I know that?” I snarled. “It’s killing me to see her every day with all that pain in her eyes. But I don’t know how to stop it. There aren’t enough apologies on earth to make up for what happened. And there’s no way to fix it. No way to—”

“Just stop right there.” Rolling her eyes, Eva shut me up by slapping her hand over my mouth. “You’re thinking about this all wrong. Looking for forgiveness from her is not what you need, because newsflash, numbnuts: she’s already forgiven you. That’s the amazing thing about Reese. She forgives. And an even more amazing thing about her is that she moves on. Just think about it. Could you guess that her ex-boyfriend had tried to kill her and nearly succeeded just four months before you met her? No, because she has this superpower of being able to get past awful, disturbing, traumatic events. It’s all part of the beauty of who she is. She would’ve gotten past this last episode with Mrs. Garrison too, but you’re not letting her. Every time you pull away, or refuse to meet her eyes, or dodge a conversation, it kills her.”

I closed my eyes, feeling shitty. Eva was right. I was only making things worse. Covering my face with both hands, I swallowed down the panic and then blew out a breath, trying to calm myself.

“I swear to God, Eva,” I choked out miserably. “The last thing I want to do is hurt her, but I just can’t help it. God! I don’t know how to get past this. I don’t deserve her forgiveness. I don’t… How the hell do I touch something so pure and amazing when I’m so fucking filthy?”

Eva’s lashes fluttered, and I swear I saw tears of sympathy in her eyes, but no way would she ever cry for me. Then she turned away nonchalantly and picked up an apple slice, taking a bite and swallowing before wiping her mouth and clearing her throat.

“So, I’ve been reading all these new-mommy, expecting-your-first-baby articles online lately,” she started conversationally, “and they’re really cool. They go week by week through your pregnancy, telling you how big your baby is compared to a piece of fruit.” Rubbing her hand over her swollen stomach, she smiled affectionately. “Baby Girl’s about the size of a pineapple right now, by the way.”

Okay. I had no idea what to say to that, so I just waited as she went on, hoping she had a point to this.

“The advice that helped me stop freaking out the most was about dealing with all the mistakes I’m going to make as a mother… They say it’s inevitable, you know… No matter how great I want to be, I’m going to mess shit up. And I’m going to worry that I’m destroying my child’s life. But I read this thing that said as long as I love her and try to make her happy, the rest will fall into place. Discipline, temper tantrums, all of it. Instead of drowning in my mistakes, I’ll learn from them. And the more joy I bring to her life, the more I’ll bring to my own.”

Reaching out, she took my hand and squeezed.

“Are you listening to me, Mason Lowe? Just love Reese and make her happy. And when you bring joy to her life, it’ll bring joy to your life. Instead of wallowing over everything you did wrong, you’ll forgive yourself and move on from this, because making her happy is the ultimate priority. Everything else is just bullshit.”

I gripped her fingers back, appreciating everything she’d just said, even as I shook my head. “I want to do that,” I promised her. “I do. I just want to show her how much I love her and bring a smile to her face, but I…” God, this was hard to admit. “Right now, I can’t even imagine what I could do to accomplish that.”

Instead of sympathizing, Eva smiled wide. “I’ll tell you what you’re going to do. You’re going to dig out that engagement ring you have hiding in the bottom of your shirt drawer, and you’re going to propose to her. Tonight.”

“Wha…?” My mouth fell open. I sputtered a moment longer before glancing behind me to make sure Reese wasn’t listening in on us. Then I turned back to Eva and hissed, “How the hell do you know what’s in my shirt drawer?”

Eva laughed and waved an unconcerned hand. “Oh, please. If you want to hide something from your girlfriend, next time put it in a better place than you did. Reese loves wearing your shirts when you’re not here.”

She did? Shit, that was an awesome thing to learn.

“She found the ring months ago.”

Wait. What?

“She…” I shook my head, trying to process. I’d really wanted to surprise her with the ring. But now I couldn’t.

“You should’ve heard her,” Eva went on. “I’d just fallen asleep when this scream ripped through the entire apartment. I thought someone was killing her. By the time I scrambled into her room, she was dancing around and trying to put it on, but her fingers were shaking so badly she kept missing. She was so happy she was crying. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen her that ecstatic before in my life.”

My breath caught and tears filled my eyes. “She liked it?”

“Liked it? Hell, no, she didn’t like it. She freaking loved it. And FYI, Lowe, you have immaculate taste in jewelry. I mean, holy God, who knew you’d pick out such a beautiful ring? I’m seriously impressed.”

A grin exploded across my face. “Really?”

Coming from Eva Mercer, that was a true compliment right there. I remembered her back when she’d been a spoiled little rich girl, and she had liked the bling. Big-time.

“Yes,” she said, punching me merrily in the shoulder. “So dig that bad boy out and make it official already, will you? That, I know for certain, will make my ReeRee happy.”

I nodded. “Okay.” Turning away as if to go fetch the ring that instant, I faltered when reality intruded. “Wait.” I spun back to Eva. “I can’t. I still haven’t planned the perfect proposal yet. I keep thinking I need to take her to a fancy restaurant and somehow have the waiter bring it out with her food, or—”

“Don’t you dare be so cliché. This is Reese we’re talking about. She’d prefer something simple, yet private, just between the two of you. Maybe a picnic—oh, hey. She loves that park across the street as much as I do. There’s this big-ass tree by the lake. You could spread a blanket out under it, feed a couple of the ducks, eat a romantic little snack, and then, you know…do your thing.”

From that point on, our conversation became a blur. I freaked out, excited yet nervous, wondering if this would really work, if this could actually fix the distance I’d pushed between Reese and me. But Eva just coached me through my nerves.

And she freaking talked me into going through with my proposal, tonight. Just as I agreed with her and actually meant it, Reese walked into the kitchen, asking what we had to eat. I jumped out of my skin and spun toward her guiltily.

Pausing, she glanced curiously between me and Eva, the suspicion and hurt in her eyes absolutely slaughtering me. I wanted to blurt that nothing bad had happened, but it seemed as if that would make it look as if something really tawdry had just transpired between me and her cousin.

Thank God Eva took over and told Reese that Reese and I were going to go off somewhere by ourselves for a while, because I had a feeling I would’ve butchered anything I’d said in that moment.

Reese remained on guard, but when I finally managed to speak, Eva and I were able to convince her in no time that it would be a good idea.

“Great,” I said, relieved beyond measure when she finally agreed. This might just work after all. I hoped so, because I wanted my Reese back. And I wanted the awkwardness between us gone. “I’m just going to grab my…” ring. “My hat from the bedroom. Be right back.”

Smacking a quick kiss to her forehead, I took off down the hall and nearly ripped my entire shirt drawer from the dresser in my rush to open it. The box was exactly where I’d hidden it. Opening it to make sure the diamond and band were still inside, I snapped it shut again and slid it into my pocket.

It was go-time.

Nerves raced through my system, but at least they were excited and hopeful. And okay, maybe a little sick with worry.

Reese was still in the kitchen, talking to Eva when I returned. “About ready?” I asked, hope blooming across my face and into a smile.

“Yep,” Eva answered for her cousin as she slipped a bottle of wine into a large canvas lunch bag and closed it before thrusting the entire picnic she’d just packed at me. “I think you guys are good to go. Have fun. Don’t come back until it’s late, and feed the ducks for me while you’re there.”

I nodded and grabbed Reese’s hand. But as soon as I managed to get her out of the apartment, she immediately pulled us to a stop, frowning at me. “Okay, what’s going on?”

I cocked her a curious, petrified glance. “What do you mean?”

She sniffed out a hard, bitter laugh. “Mason, you’re not wearing a hat.”

“Huh?”

“Inside, you said you were going back to the bedroom to get your hat.”

“Oh.” Oh, shit. I’d completely forgotten to grab a hat. Patting my hair, I cringed, caught in my lie.

“Oh, baby.” She sighed and shook her head. “You’ve been a mess lately. Ever since that bitch showed up at the bar—” She broke off when I flinched, and her eyes filled with misery and empathy. “You’ve just been so quiet, preoccupied, withdrawn and…and scatterbrained.”

“I know.” Squeezing my eyes shut, I pressed a fist to my forehead and clenched my teeth. “I’ve been an ass. I’m sorry.”

“You haven’t been an ass,” she argued loyally, stepping forward to wrap her arms around me. “And stop being sorry. It wasn’t your fault she showed up.”

I sank against her gratefully. “But it was,” I said softly. “I let her control me for so long she’s still convinced she can. And I have been an ass. But I want to make things right with you. Tonight.”

“You’re finally going to talk about it?” she guessed, her eyes widening with hope.

I flinched but admitted, “If that’s what it takes, then yeah. I’ll tell you every messed-up thought in my head if that helps me get out of this funk so we can both move forward.”

She nodded as if proud. “Good. Let’s get to the park and start this picnic, then. I’m curious to see what kind of food E put in here because those peanut butter apple slices she was eating looked seriously tempting.”

I smiled and took her hand. We were fairly quiet the rest of the way to the park; I think both of us were too anxious to reach our destination to attempt conversation. We didn’t have a blanket to spread on the ground so we found an empty picnic table and sat on the same bench seat next to each other, hip to hip, as Reese unpacked the lunch bag.

“Yes!” she cheered, holding up a plastic container full of apples before opening the package and popping one into her mouth.

When she held up a second slice for me to take a bite straight from her fingers, my heart thumped hard in my chest.

“Mmm,” I moaned, closing my eyes slightly as I chewed. “I don’t know what it is about you, baby, but food always tastes better when you feed it to me.”

She smiled, only for the grin to fade as she watched me.

Worry knotted my stomach. “What?” I asked.

With a sad sigh, she asked, “Are you upset that I let all your new friends at the bar think you’d really slept with Mrs. Garrison?”

“What?” I repeated, totally confused.

“When she showed up last week, I made it sound like you had had sex with her in September. And you played along with it.”

“Yeah,” I said slowly, “because you still don’t want Eva to know the truth.”

“That’s right.” She pointed at me, grinning. “That’s exactly why I did it, but then later…” Her smile fell. “I realized—or rather wondered—if maybe I’d embarrassed you in front of all your new coworkers. I know you like those guys, and it had to be pretty awful for you to let them think you were a cheater or something. I feel so crappy for doing that to you for my own selfish reasons. I’m sorry; I didn’t even stop to think at the time what I was doing to you. You must be so mad at me for—”

“Reese.” I took her hand to stop her flow of apology, and then I leaned in to gently press my lips to hers. “That didn’t even occur to me. Don’t worry about it. Okay?”

She nodded but still looked concerned as she bit her lip. “And then I wondered if you thought I was beginning to question the truth myself. Maybe you thought that since Mrs. Garrison showed up, trying to play off a pregnancy scare, that I was beginning to wonder if maybe you had slept with her after all.”

I sighed and focused my attention on our clasped hands. “So you didn’t waver?” I asked. “Even a little? You didn’t think maybe it might be true after all?”

“Oh, Mason.” Cupping my face in her hands, she smiled at me tenderly. “You stupid idiot. Of course I didn’t waver. I trust you. And besides, let’s not forget it wasn’t even you I heard the truth from in the first place. It was from Mrs. Garrison herself. So it wasn’t even you I had to question. Please stop being so paranoid. I love you. I haven’t stopped loving you. You are the most important person in my world. It hurts to see you doubt that.”

“Oh, God, Sweet Pea, I’m sorry,” I gushed, realizing I’d let her down in more ways than I’d originally thought. Pulling her into my lap, I buried my face in the nook of her shoulder. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to doubt you. I just… You’re my world too. And she threatened my world. I couldn’t seem to see past that enough to remember you do love me, and no matter what she tries to do to tear us apart, you’re not going to stop. Not because of her. We’re stuck together now, until death do us part.”

“Damn straight,” she murmured, kissing my chin. “So please stop apologizing. I knew you were rattled. It rattled me too. You just needed a little time to get your bearings back. I knew that.” Smiling, she traced her fingers along my jaw. “And it seems you’ve gotten them back now.”

“I have,” I assured her. “Thank you for waiting for me. I love you for it.”

“You’re welcome.” With a grin, she added, “And thank you for finally pulling your head out of your ass. It’s about freaking time.”

I laughed and tickled her. Screaming out a giggle, she squirmed on my lap before growing suddenly still. “Mason!” With an indignant gasp, she glanced around the park before sending me a stern, wide-eyed glance, silently scolding me.

“What?” I asked, honestly confused.

“We’re in public,” she hissed, beginning to blush, just before she shifted, rubbing her ass over my thigh, right where she was sitting on… Oh shit, the ring box.

“Wait! Don’t.” I tried to lift her off it, but she seemed to realize the hardness under her wasn’t what she’d originally thought it was.

“What is that?”

She popped up off me to investigate.

“Nothing,” I started, grinding my teeth. “Don’t!” I cried, panicked when she reached for the lump. “I haven’t figured out how to ask yet.”

“How to ask what?” she demanded, batting my fingers out of her way so she could plunge her hand into my pocket. “What the hell are you hiding in there?”

“Will you just—Argh!” I scowled at her and threw my hands in the air the moment she pulled the ring box free and was gaping at it in her palm. “Great,” I muttered. “Now what’re we going to tell our grandkids? No, Grandpa never even proposed. Grandma just jerked the ring straight from his pocket, and that was that. What the hell kind of interesting proposal story is that?”

“The best kind ever!” Reese screeched before shrieking in joy and throwing her arms around my neck to kiss me all over the face. “Oh my God. I love you, I love you, I love you. It’s about damn time you gave this to me. I was beginning to think you’d changed your mind.”

“About wanting to spend forever with you?” I asked incredulously. “Never.”

“Thank goodness.” Shoving the box at me, she demanded, “Put it on, put it on.”

“But, uh…” I lifted my eyebrows innocently. “I don’t think it’ll fit me.”

“Mason,” she growled, no longer playing around.

I laughed, moisture gathering in my eyes. “Okay. Fine,” I murmured, opening the box. “I’ll put it on you.” I think my hands shook as much as hers did because we were equally excited as I slipped the ring over her fingernail and slid it down toward her knuckle. “God, I can’t believe this is really happening.”

“I know,” she murmured, smiling lovingly as she pulled her newly ringed finger against her chest, holding it to her heart. “It’s too good to be true. Oh! Wait. I have just the thing to tell the grandkids. Grandpa didn’t even have to ask.” Whipping her hair over her shoulder dramatically, she sent me a smoldering look before adding, “He just looked at her, and she said yes.”

Laughing, I shook my head. God, I loved how she could make me laugh, almost as much as I loved her.

“That is so corny,” I answered before tweaking her nose and admitting, “It’s perfect.”

The End

But wait!

There’s more

Thank you so much for reading Mason’s point of view. Even though it was probably the hardest book I ever wrote, I’m pleased I was able to finish it and share it with you.

This officially concludes the Forbidden Men series, but I’m excited to give you a few novellas right now, showing you what became of some children from the Forbidden gang.

But first, here’s a list of descendants so you’ll know who belongs to whom.

And if you’d like to see a timeline or family tree for more clarity, here are two links you can check out as well!

Forbidden Family Tree: http://lindakage.com/fmtree.jpg

Forbidden Timeline: http://lindakage.com/fmtimeline.pdf

Hugs, Linda

Descendants of the Forbidden Men

BOOK 1 and 10

Price of a Kiss / The Price of Mason

Mason and Reese

Gracen Lowe – (twin to)

Isabella Lowe, aka Bella

BOOK 2

To Professor, with Love

Noel and Aspen

Beau Gamble

Lucy Olivia Gamble

BOOK 3

Be My Hero

Pick and Eva

Julian Ryan (featured in Off Balance)

Skylar Ryan

Chloe Ryan

Patrick Mason Ryan, aka Trick

BOOK 4

With Every Heartbeat

Quinn and Zoey

JB Hamilton (featured in Once Upon a Canoe Trip)

Lucian Hamilton, aka Luke

BOOK 5

A Perfect Ten

Ten and Caroline

Teagan Tenning (featured in Once Upon a Canoe Trip)

BOOK 6

Worth It

Knox and Felicity

Cynthia Bentley Parker, aka Bentley

Fox Arrow Parker

BOOK 7

The Girl’s Got Secrets

Asher and Remy

Aurora Jane Hart, aka Rory (featured in Playing to Win)

Riley Ann Hart

Ayden Elisa Hart

BOOK 8

Priceless

Sarah and Brandt

Haven Dawn Gamble (featured in The Revenge Plan)

BOOK 9

Consolation Prize

Colton and Julianna

Colton Cress Gamble, Jr., aka Cress

And now for a few short stories about

the Forbidden Men descendants!

Part Two

Off Balance

For Harper,

the beautiful dancing boy from the Philippines,

whose mama got her wings about the same time mine did.

Here’s the story you wanted me to write.

Chapter One

Julian

As soon as the shrill hiss of a whistle split the air, I knew I was in trouble.

“Ryan!” Coach’s voice made me wince from the grass, where I lay on my back, half-dazed from the fall I’d taken. I winced up at a bright blue sky, complete with cheerful puffy clouds, and knew this was it. I wasn’t making the team. “Get your ass over here now.”

You know, the clouds really should be a lot more downcast and dreary gray to go with the chewing out I was about to receive. Getting cut from the team on such a nice, bright, perfect day didn’t seem very fitting.

Sitting upright, I groaned in pain and swayed unsteadily before pushing the rest of the way to my feet. My helmet had slammed pretty hard into the ground that time, leaving my ears ringing and the world looking slightly out of focus. Hope I didn’t have a concussion.

A few players snickered as I hobbled past. “Dude, thanks for falling down before I could even tackle you,” a defensive linebacker called. “Makes my job a hell of a lot easier.”

Ignoring them, I picked up my pace and jogged to the coach, releasing my chinstrap and taking off the helmet that hadn’t felt as if it had protected shit.

When I reached him, he stepped in close and lowered his voice. Since he was friends with my family, that was probably his way of having mercy and trying to be discreet so the others couldn’t hear how badly he was about to rip into me.

Then he asked for my ears alone, “You okay?”

His uncle-like concern made me wince. I bet any other coach would’ve gone straight into the yelling and lecturing part.

“I’m fine,” I mumbled, kicking moodily at a clump of turf. Sure, I was fine; fine for anyone who was so lousy at something they loved as much as I loved football.

“Good, good.” Nodding, Coach pointed toward the rest of the team as his assistants lined them up for another play. “Then would you like to tell me just what the fuck that was?”

“Uh…” Cringing, I rubbed the back of my neck as it heated with humiliation. “I tripped.”

He blinked once, twice. Then his eyebrows shot up. “You tripped? Over what?”

My wince turned into a gulp before I mumbled, “My feet.”

“Christ, kid.” Sighing, he stepped back and ran a harassed hand through his hair.

On the field, the quarterback who’d replaced me hiked the ball, and the center snapped it to him, causing the offensive and defensive lines to rush at each other, helmets clashing, bodies impacting, grunts cursing. The new quarterback, blessed with a grace and agility that made me sniff with bitterness, reversed smoothly before planting his feet and winding back his arm to launch the ball to a receiver. Too bad he hadn’t lost his balance and gone tumbling onto his ass the same way I had when I’d tried that same exact maneuver. Though I did get a small jolt of satisfaction when he couldn’t quite connect with the receiver, and a safety intercepted the ball instead. If I hadn’t fallen on my ass, I would’ve made that pass. No problem.

“What the hell are we going to do about you, Julian?” Coach said in exasperation, shaking his head over the pick on the field as he turned back to me. “You’re the fastest kid on the team, you have the most accurate throwing arm, and you might be more dedicated and determined than any player I’ve ever coached before. But you have absolutely no coordination or balance in your damn feet. It’s like something is blocking the path from your brain to your toes. You fall down more than you can stay upright.”

“I know.” Heaving out a depressed breath, I bowed my head as I shook it shamefully. “I’m sorry.”

“Camp ends at the end of this week. Try-outs are in a month. And you are nowhere near good enough to make the cut. I know how much you want this, Julian, and how hard you’ve been working for it. Pick is literally going to kill me if you don’t make the team.”

At the mention of my dad, I glanced up. My father was basically the coolest, most chill guy on the planet. Nothing pissed him off, unless you wronged one of his kids. But this was not one of those situations.

“He won’t,” I assured, knowing my dad. He wouldn’t blame the coach at all. And honestly, he wouldn’t blame me either. Hell, he probably wouldn’t even be disappointed. He wasn’t one of those sports-fanatic or even pushy dads. Honestly, he probably only got into football these days because I was obsessed with it.

“Well, it’ll break my heart if you don’t make the team,” Coach muttered moodily. “So I’ve come up with a plan that might just work.” Then he winced and added, “If you’re willing to try it.”

I perked to attention, only to frown over that last part, because…willing to try it? What the hell did that mean?

“What’s your plan?” I hedged suspiciously.

He sighed, obviously nervous about telling me, which only put me more on edge. Jesus, what did he want to do with me, perform a lobotomy?

“Look, I’ve been doing some research, and I think I’ve come up with an idea to help with the balance and coordination thing.”

“Okay,” I said slowly, rolling my hand to convince him to spill it already. “What?”

He winced and rubbed the back of his neck before mumbling, “Dancing.”

My eyebrows lifted and my head cocked to the side, because I swear I’d just heard him say dancing.

“Come again?” I murmured. Damn, how hard had I cracked my head on that last play? Did I have a concussion? Why was I suddenly hearing the word dance come from my football coach’s mouth?

He lifted a hand as if I were going to argue with him, which I hadn’t planned on doing, because I was still waiting for him to tell me what his real plan to fix me was. “Just hear me out. The article I read says it can help football players in a lot of ways. It’ll boost your core strength, leg strength, foot strength, and most importantly...your coordination.”

My mouth fell open. Well, hell. He was serious. He was really fucking serious. He expected me to take a dance class. I mean, I had no issue with dancing, personally. It was perfectly fine for anyone else to take one or twelve of them. I even enjoyed watching my sister’s recitals. But it was most certainly not my thing.

Because I couldn’t dance. Like at all. It was beyond pathetic, I was quite aware. I blamed my birth mother entirely, as I always liked to do when I wasn’t good at something.

So, of course, I said, “No fucking way.”

Coach was quiet a moment, studying me with his arms crossed over his chest. Then he dropped the bomb, announcing, “I already enrolled you in your sister’s class.”

“What? You can’t do that.” Could he?

“I did,” he assured, nodding. “Pick even paid for it.”

Fuck! Dad was in on this too? That traitor! He knew I had absolutely no rhythm. He’d seen me turn Mom and both of my sisters down numerous times over the years when they’d tried to get me to even play around and dance in the living room with them. I was seriously that afraid to even attempt it.

“Noel,” I whined. “Seriously, man, please don’t make me do this. I’m just going to humiliate myself.”

With a sympathetic cringe, he slapped a hand onto my shoulder. “You know I can’t make you do anything, but I really think you should. So it is my strong recommendation that you at least try it.”

Fuck. I was going to try it. I’d never been good at letting people down, and not even trying would totally let Coach down. Must be some inherent need to please people I’d developed back from when I was three months old and my birth mom had decided I wasn’t good enough for her, so she’d fucking abandoned me with Pick—who’d only been my stepdad at the time—because I guess running off, overdosing on drugs, and dying alone in a dirty, dark alley had sounded so much better to her than sticking around to take care of me.

Thanks, birth mom. Appreciate the abandonment issues. Now I was going to have to take fucking dance classes because of it and end up looking like even more of a loser than I already did.

“Okay, fine,” I muttered, already regretting it. “But Skylar’s class?” I cringed. “She’s been in some dance class or another since she was four years old. There’s no way I could keep up with an advanced group like that.”

And besides, she danced with a ton of hot girls. I absolutely could not make a fool of myself in front of multiple hot girls.

Noel snickered. “No, kid,” he said, his shoulders shaking with silent amusement. “Not the class she’s in. The class she teaches, where she’s been volunteer-helping this summer.”

My mouth fell open, because my sister helped at the dance academy, teaching beginners, like four- and five-year-old beginners.

I was going to be the only teenager in the group, and probably ten years older and three feet taller than everyone else there.

Trying to dance in front of a bunch of hot girls my age would’ve been bad enough, but if I’d put everything I had into it, at least the nice ones probably would’ve had pity on me and admired me for having the courage to try. If I’d been lucky, maybe I could’ve even secured a sympathy date or two from the whole adventure. But this… This was so much worse.

My embarrassment was never going to end, was it?

Screwing up my mouth into a snarl, I scowled at my coach, hissing, “You bastard.”

Chapter Two

Nia

I’d just sat on the rubber floor of the dance studio to start my warm-up exercises when sexy incarnate walked in. Tall and lean, he wore a black tank top and loose running shorts over neon green tights. Dumping the strap of an enormous sports bag off his shoulder, he let it drop carelessly to the floor next to him with a thud, letting the world know he was not pleased to be present.

I liked his hairstyle: twisted curls with the blowout fade.

Lately, my mom had been letting me take on a couple simple haircuts like straight buzz jobs at her shop. But I hadn’t been allowed to try a blowout yet, even though it was one of my favorites. And the way this handsome thing wore it, it was definitely going to remain one of my favorites, too.

He skimmed his gaze distastefully over the row of girls at the front who ranged between four and seven years old and shook his head with a dismal kind of depression before he caught sight of me sprawled out in the back trying to touch my toes without bending my knees. Doing a double take, he furrowed his brows and cocked his head curiously before pointing to the room at large and asking me, “Hey, is this Sky’s class?”

It took everything I had not to snort bitterly and roll my eyes. But I should’ve known he was here looking for her. Of course he went for the stick-slim, perfectly flawless, beautiful type. Typical guy.

Realizing he belonged to someone else and was therefore a lost cause for me, I focused my attention back on my toes I was grabbing as I attempted to touch my nose to my knees. “It sure is.”

“Great,” he said dryly, his voice lacking all hint of pleasure. “I guess I actually found the right place, then.”

When he plopped down about ten feet away, I jerked my head up in surprise.

“Uh…?” Why was he sitting by me? A little flutter stirred in my belly from his closeness, even though, okay, he wasn’t that close. He just had such a big presence it felt close.

He tipped his chin my way. “Are you, like, her assistant or something?”

“Whose assistant?” I asked, all the while wondering why he was mimicking me and trying to perform a toe touch. Poor guy could barely even reach his ankles.

He seemed confused when he answered, “Skylar’s.” Motioning toward the little girls talking and stretching at the front of the room, he added, “Or are you a second teacher for the class?”

“Second…? Oh. Oh. No. Good God, not at all!” I cried, my eyes widening in horror. “Someone would have to be insane to put me in charge of a dance class. I…” Realizing I was about to mention to the hottest boy I’d ever talked to that I sucked at dancing, I drew in a breath before motioning vaguely toward the front of the room. “I’m, you know, just waiting for my little sister.”

“Ah.” He seemed disappointed by that. Why, I have no idea.

I grew even more confused when he changed his stretch to follow mine as I fell back onto my spine and pulled my knee up toward my chest.

“So, where is Sky?” he asked conversationally.

I shrugged. “Don’t know. She doesn’t usually show up until two or three minutes after start time.”

He snorted cynically. “Sounds like her.”

I eyed him curiously. He didn’t exactly sound loyal and loving there, so I bluntly asked, “Are you her boyfriend?”

“What?” he cried, his aghast expression telling me that wasn’t even a slight possibility, which cheered me up because it put him back in the running for me. “Hell, no. She’s my sister.”

“Oh,” I said, beginning to nod, before it struck me that he and Skylar weren’t exactly the same color. “Wait.”

He let out a sigh as if he were well accustomed to reactions just like mine. “I’m adopted,” he explained.

“Oh,” I repeated before sending him a sheepish grin. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude.”

“You weren’t. It’s fine.” He shrugged. “I get it. It’d probably make me pause too. I mean, we’re nothing alike. She’s the overly cheerful, bubbly type. And I’m, you know, awesome.” When he flashed me a heart-stopping grin, all my girl organs melted. It took everything I had not to sigh over his absolute dreaminess.

“So, uh…” What the heck did I want to say? Some words, I’m sure, but I suddenly couldn’t recall what those words were. He was just so nice to look at I really didn’t want to think about anything else.

I swear, his brown eyes were peering straight inside me. I hoped he liked what he saw.

“Are you Skylar’s ride home today or something?” I had the presence of mind to finally ask. “Have to wait around here until she’s finished with her class?”

Lord, I hoped not. I didn’t want him to stick around long enough to realize I was actually a student.

His expression froze before he started to nod. “Yeah, yeah,” he answered, twirling his finger my way as if to congratulate me for guessing it right. “That’s exactly what I’m doing.”

Great. Kill me now. He was going to see me dance and learn just how much rhythm I lacked, then he was going to laugh his butt off and probably never give me the time of day again.

Shriveling up inside, I started to nod knowingly, when suddenly his shoulders fell. “No, okay, I lied. I’m actually a…” The rest of his sentence trailed off into a mumble I couldn’t understand.

Leaning in, I wrinkled my brow as I asked, “You’re a what?”

Sending me a chagrined glance, he sighed and admitted, “I’m actually a student. In Skylar’s class. But I am her brother; that part’s still true.”

I blinked. He must’ve taken that to mean I thought he was lame or something because he rushed to explain, “My football coach forced me into the class because I have absolutely no coordination. I think he assumed putting me in my sister’s class would make it less humiliating or something, but it doesn’t. Not at all. Anyway, I have a month to learn some balance or I’m probably not going to make the team.”

He looked so miserable, I sighed. “I guess I should confess I don’t have a little sister here. Or anywhere. I’m an only child. And… I’m also a student in the class.”

He pulled back in surprise. “Wait. What?”

“I tried to join a group in my own age range but they were all so advanced, I got shuffled around until I ended up here. And I’m still the worst in the class.”

He watched me a moment before saying, “For real?”

I nodded glumly. “Yep. My dad left my mom this last year, and what was supposed to be their twentieth anniversary is coming up in about a month. Before he left, the only thing Mom ever talked about was how she wanted to dance to their wedding song with him on their big day. So, now that he’s gone, I’m trying to learn how to dance so I can dance with her on their big day. Except.” I shrugged and sent him a rueful cringe. “I have two left feet. I mean, I’m so bad Skylar was literally the only person willing to let me into her class.”

He considered that a moment before scooting across the floor toward me and holding out a fist. “Well, never fear, my lady. I am here to suck with you. We can be bad together.”

That had to be about the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me. Charmed, I bumped my knuckles against his and we shared a smile. At that moment, I’d never been so happy to be truly bad at something.

“Hello, my lovelies!” Skylar called, interrupting my beautiful moment with her brother as she breezed into the room, her perky brunette ponytail bobbing merrily behind her.

Next to me, the boy groaned under his breath. “And so it begins.” His lack of enthusiasm was actually a relief.

God, he better be as bad as he said he was, or I was going to be pissed.

The kids in the front cheered, and the touchy-feely ones had to rush Skylar for a round of hugs. As she accepted them all at the same time, she glanced toward the boy and lifted her eyebrows, showing surprise to see he’d actually shown up.

He rolled his eyes back at her and drew his knees up to rest his elbows on them.

“Looks like everyone started some warm-up stretches,” Skylar noticed, nodding her approval. “Good. I’ll let you guys finish that up while I take roll call.”

She started down the list of names. When she got to, “Nia,” and looked my way, I smiled and waved. “Here,” she answered for me, gaining the attention of her brother as he sent me a considering glance. A warm tingle spread through my belly as I wondered if that look meant he was maybe, possibly just as interested in me as I was in him.

“Julia?” Skylar called, making me frown and scan the row of girls in front of me, because there wasn’t a student named Julia, and none of them looked new.

“Julia?” she repeated quizzically, finally turning her attention to her brother. “Julia Ryan?”

He merely narrowed his eyes.

Skylar snickered. “Oh, sorry,” she said, over emphasizing her fake apology as she looked back down at the sheet of paper in her hand. “I didn’t see the N there. I guess it says Julian.”

Hmm. So the hot-brother-of-Skylar was named Julian, huh? I liked that.

As all the five-year-olds giggled over Skylar’s deliberate mistake, Julian muttered, “Funny,” and he flipped her off.

“Ummm…” one of the girls sang, pointing his way. “That’s a bad sign. My mom told me so. It means I hate you and never want to see you again.”

Julian arched a brow at Sky. “D’you hear what that means, sis? Don’t make it true.”

She rolled her eyes and blew him a kiss before returning her attention to her younger students. “Okay, what I need you guys here in these first two rows to do is buddy up and practice your positions together, alright? I’m just going to hop over and talk to these two real quick.”

These two?

Why was she glancing toward her brother and me as she said that? Julian and I shared a suspicious glance before we simultaneously turned back to Skylar as she jogged our way.

“Hey,” she greeted us, her grin overly bright. “So, okay, I was thinking, since you two are my only nontraditional students with pretty specific goals to reach, you guys could practice together but separately from the rest of the class, not the ballet technique everyone else is working on today but the steps to the dance Nia wants to have with her mom. That will help her with that, and Julian with his balance. You guys are about at the same level with each other, meaning you can work at your pace this way.” Grinning, she clasped her hands together. “I think it’s a brilliant idea.”

Julian and I shared another uncertain glance. Then he turned to his sister and muttered, “Yeah, until I step on her feet so much she loses all sensation in them and ends up being unable to ever walk again.”

Skylar rolled her eyes and backhanded his arm. “Don’t be dramatic,” she charged. “That’s my job.”

“Look, Sky.” He stepped in toward his sister and lowered his voice, even though I could still hear him clearly. “This is ridiculous. Why can’t you just show me all this bullshit at home? In private. Why do I have to come all the way out here and take a damn class?”

“Because having witnesses around will force you to take it seriously and actually try.”

I winced when she repeated the very thing I’d said to her when she’d offered to teach me privately a few weeks ago.

Sky glanced my way and winked. “Besides, Nia needs a partner to practice with. This will work perfectly for both of you.”

Julian glanced warily my way. “You really, truly suck at dancing?” he asked, measuring me up and down. “You’re not just pulling my leg? I don’t want to start this and end up looking like a damn fool because you’re talented after all, and I still can’t keep a simple rhythm.”

“Trust me,” Skylar said, patting his arm in reassurance. “She’s honestly as bad at this as you are.” When Julian sliced her an incredulous glance, her face turned bright red. She whirled to me, her eyes wide as she slapped her hands over her mouth. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean… I was just trying to—”

I lifted a hand, forgiving her. “It’s fine.”

She nodded but still cringed as she lowered her hands. Glancing worriedly between me and her brother, she asked, “So… What do you guys think?”

My gaze slid toward Julian’s just as his moved my way. After a moment, he shrugged. “I’m game if you are.”

On any other day, I’d never agree to humiliate myself in front of such a beautiful boy. But after his sister reassured us we were equally bad, I found myself shrugging too. “Looks like you just got yourself a new suck buddy.”

As Skylar blurted out a laugh, Julian lifted an eyebrow, and it suddenly occurred to me just how suggestive and close to another term that had sounded.

“Oh, Lord,” I moaned, closing my eyes and slapping a hand to my forehead. “You know what I meant.”

Chapter Three

Julian

So I guess I had myself a suck buddy. Still grinning over the term Nia had created, I glanced at my curvy petite new dance partner. She was a cute thing with massive breasts and braided extensions that were twisted up in a big bun on the top of her head. One strand that had beads woven in it had fallen loose and dangled hypnotically by her ear that hosted about half a dozen rings. My favorite was actually the silver hook in her nose, though.

She definitely had a style I liked.

“So, I’m not going to teach you two ballet like the rest,” Sky was saying, all of it background noise as I checked out the girl on the other side of her. “Here’s what I’d like you to do.”

My sister bent down to my sports bag and unzipped it, digging a moment until she pulled up my phone. As she unlocked the screen and pulled up the YouTube app, explaining how she wanted us to try following the steps in the dance she was going to play, I frowned, finally realizing what she’d just done.

“Hey, how did you know the code to my phone?”

Sky just snorted and waved an unconcerned hand. “Please,” she said, before turning toward Nia and bringing the screen of the phone up so they could watch the couple in the video explain the sequence of a specific dance. “So just follow these guys, pause and rewind however much you need to so you can go at your pace. I’ll check in periodically to see how you’re doing and toss out suggestions.” Then she grinned at Nia, patted her arm and took off to return to her younger students, clapping her hands cheerfully to get their attention.

I frowned after her. “Seriously, how did she know my passcode?”

Nia was too busy squinting at the screen of my phone to answer. She shook her head slowly. “This doesn’t look so bad. I might actually be able to do this dance.”

I glanced over her shoulder just as the guy in the video placed his hand on the female dancer’s hip and then spun her away from him, where she twirled on her tiptoes before stopping in a swooping pose.

Nia’s eyes went wide. “Or maybe not.”

I motioned my finger at the phone. “We can just skip that part.”

Nodding, my suck buddy glanced at me. “Agreed.”

Wow, she was short. Now that we were standing side by side, I could tell she dwarfed my six-two frame by a good eight to ten inches.

She seemed to realize the height difference too because she blinked a moment at my chest before drawing in a breath and shaking her head. “So, um…” Her dark brown eyes lifted to mine. “You want to get started?”

Yes. Because that meant I’d get to put my hands on her. For some reason, I totally forgot that I was actually supposed to dance, and that I sucked at dancing, and the most humiliating thing I could do was dance in front of someone else. I was too focused on the fact that I’d get to touch this cute, little thing.

Trying not to sound too eager about it, I answered, “Sure,” and then tossed in a loose shrug for effect. “That’s why we’re here, right?”

“Right.” Her cheeks darkened into the cutest blush, and she tucked that single beaded weave of hair behind one ear. “So, uh, I guess we need to start by facing each other.”

“Okay.” As she looked down at my phone and went back to the beginning of the video, I stepped in close. “Like this?”

Nia looked up. “Oh,” she breathed out in surprise. “I…” She quickly lowered her face and studied my phone before saying, “Yeah. Uh, this seems right.”

Then she held up the screen so we could both watch. After the first five steps into the dance, she pushed pause and glanced at me. “That’s probably enough to start with.”

I nodded and started to reach for her hip, only to pause, not sure if I was supposed to touch her yet. Total awkwardness ensued as I glanced at her, not sure if I needed to ask first, or if I was supposed to just start grabbing.

God, I felt like a dork.

“So, yeah.” She cleared her throat before she latched a hand around my wrists and drew both my hands to her waist. “It looked like your hands go here.”

“Okay.” Suppressing the need to shudder in delight, I watched my own fingers rest on the top-most swell of her lush hips. Damn, she had one sweet body.

“I’ll start the count,” she added, glancing up at me questionably. I nodded, letting her know that was fine. She nodded back. “Alright, so our first step will be on the beginning number one of the second set. Sound good to you?”

I shrugged. “Sure.”

She smiled big and started to count. “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. One…”

We both stepped forward…right onto the other’s feet.

“Oh, God! Sorry,” she cried, hopping back, just as I jerked away, muttering, “Shit. My bad.”

“I think one of us was supposed to step backward while the other stepped forward.” She went back to the phone and started over.

I glanced over her shoulder and pointed. “Looks like the guy was supposed to step forward.” I was smugly happy to notice the first mistake hadn’t been mine after all. Thank God.

“Yeah, about that…” Nia winced up at me before asking, “Do you mind if I lead?”

I lifted a brow, not saying anything. And she kept talking.

“The thing is, I’m learning this dance for my mom, so I should rightly be filling in my dad’s place, meaning…” She let the words die off before she continued, “And since all you need to learn is how to keep your balance and coordination, it doesn’t matter so much whose role you fill, so… This would be a win-win for both of us. Right?”

I nodded once, but all I could seem to say was, “You want me to be the girl?”

On a regretful cringe, she bobbed her head enthusiastically. “Yes. Would you? Please.”

Why not? I wanted to mutter while throwing my hands up in defeat. I was already being subjected to dance, which was not my thing because I was so bad at it. We might as well make my humiliation complete by taking away my guy part, too. Sure.

Nia just kept waiting for me to give in, so I mumbled, “I guess. That’s fine.”

“Great!” A smile bloomed across her face. “Thank you so much for agreeing to this. You have no idea how much it means to me.”

I nodded, unable to say anything because I was still a little put out, even though I liked her smile, and I really liked being the one to put it on her face. Then she moved closer as she started the video again, and that was even nicer. She smelled good, like warm honey and vanilla, which made me more agreeable when she suggested we try again after watching the first five steps about three more times.

“Yeah. I think I got it this time.”

Reaching for her hip, I sucked in air, letting my chest swell as I nodded to let her know I was ready.

On our second attempt, we made it through the first step, her shifting forward as I moved back. And then we followed it smoothly with the second step. Then I fucked it up on the third, and she followed me by going in the wrong direction on the fourth.

We laughed together and started over.

The third try didn’t go any easier than the second. But we made it through the first eight steps without a problem on the fourth attempt.

High-fiving, we cheered and congratulated each other, only to mess up on the first step of our fifth try.

“Why do I have a feeling this is going to be a long hour?” Nia asked, setting her hands on her thighs and bending at the waist to blow out a breath when we parted for a quick break.

“I’m just glad you really do suck as much as I do.” This would’ve been so much more painful otherwise.

Realizing that could be taken wrong, my eyes widened as I lifted a hand. “No offense.”

Laughing, she waved my concerns aside. “None taken. Trust me.”

She watched as I ran through the steps by myself. “Are you supposed to watch your feet when you do that?”

I shrugged. “Probably not.” So I tried to grin up at her as I zipped through them again, only to trip myself up, stumble to the side, and nearly fall on my ass.

Nia burst out laughing. Clutching her stomach, she shook her head. “Oh my God, that was classic.”

“And that’s what I do every day in practice too.”

Before she could answer, Skylar rushed forward, interrupting us. “I know what you need,” she announced as if having just figured out the biggest secret in the universe. “Some footwork drills.”

“Gee, you think,” I muttered dryly. “But every time we do ladders in football practice, I just trip and mess everyone else up.”

“That’s because you’re rushing to keep up with them,” my sister said, rolling her eyes as she spread a jump rope she’d grabbed from somewhere out on the floor. “You need to go at your own pace until you’re ready to pick things up a little. It’s not that you can’t do it or that it’s impossible to catch up with the others; it’s just that you’re trying to start out way too advanced than you should. Here. We’ll turn them into dance drills. Face each other.”

She nudged Nia and me over to stand next to one side of the rope, and then she manually put my hands back on Nia’s hips. “Now, you’ll jump from one side of the rope to the other with Nia jumping forward and Julian going backward. Go as slowly as you need to at first. And the more secure you feel with that speed, then pick it up and go a little faster the next time.”

And then she was gone again, returning to the world of jetés and pliés.

Nia and I looked at each other. “She’s kind of like a whirlwind, isn’t she?”

I could only shake my head. “You have no idea. She doesn’t even stop moving in her sleep. I get exhausted just watching her.”

Nia laughed, and I decided I liked making her laugh. She had a good laugh.

Once we got started jumping over the line of the rope, we thought we’d set a nice easy speed, until she tripped and fell into me, her face landing in the center of my chest.

“Whoa there.” Laughing, I caught her against me. “You okay?”

“Yep. Just peachy,” came the muffled answer. I swear she took extra-long to look up at me because she was sniffing my shirt. When she finally did, she cringed. “Should we slow it down even more?”

“Sure.” Skylar had said to go as slow as we needed to. And since I got to be this close to my suck buddy, I didn’t care how fast we moved.

After we started over, we made it through the length of the rope without either of us tripping once. We might’ve gone at a snails speed but, by God, we made it. So we tried it again, going a little faster, only to have to slow it back down once more.

Meanwhile, we cracked jokes about getting passed by turtles and growing grass. Nia had just laughed about something I’d said and was leaning against my chest, giggling, when she pulled back, squinting at something behind me.

“Um… Do you know those women? I think they’re watching you.”

“What?” I jerked around, only to groan, “Oh, hell, no,” and spin back to her, pressing my hand to my forehead as I closed my eyes.

“I take that to mean you do know them?” Nia sounded amused.

“Nope,” I said. “Never seen them before. They’re definitely not my mom and Aunt Reese, that’s for damn sure.”

Nia laughed. “Really? Which one’s your mom?”

“The blonde one,” I muttered on a resigned sigh before glancing back to see if they were still there.

When they grinned and waved, I lifted my hands in a “what the hell are you doing?” gesture, and they took that as an invitation to hurry over and give me a hug.

“Sorry,” my mom gushed, wrapping her arms around me and smooshing her lips against my cheek. “We were just dropping Chloe and Bella off for their tap dance class and wanted to peek in to see how you were doing.” She pinched my cheek. “I can’t believe my baby boy’s taking his first dance class. This is so exciting.”

“Seriously,” I said, lifting my hand and backing away. “Don’t ever do that again.” I was not a cheek-pinching kind of guy. At all.

Mom merely laughed and turned to Nia. “Hi, I’m Eva. This is my cousin, Reese. You guys look so cute together. What’s your name?”

Strangely, Nia seemed charmed by my adoptive mother. She introduced herself and even patiently answered a rush of intrusive questions about herself that I hadn’t even thought to inquire about yet; although I gotta admit having a snoopy mom had its perks. In thirty seconds, I learned Nia was the same age as me, had just moved to a new neighborhood with her mom and would be attending the same school with me as soon as summer break was over, and her biggest wish after high school was to open a new hair salon with her mother.

When Skylar noticed Mom and Aunt Reese loitering, she chased them off and forced me and Nia to continue with our footwork drills.

By the time our hour was over, Nia and I were adept at jumping over a rope, two feet at a time, at the speed of a super-fast sloth.

“So…” Biting her lip, Nia sent me a coy smile. “Think you’ll come back for the next class?”

If it gave me the chance to touch her again, hell yes, I’d be back. Unlike Coach, I wasn’t so certain dance class was going to make me a better football player, but if it made him happy and gave me more time with my suck buddy, I could keep doing this, no problem.

Chapter Four

Nia

Four weeks passed. Julian and I practiced three evenings a week, an hour each session. Some days we made some actual progress, and some days it felt as if we were worse than when we’d started this impossible mission. But one thing never wavered: the chemistry that steadily grew between us.

I started wearing tighter, skimpier workout clothes. He put on a little cologne before class. My eyes lingered on him; his hands lingered on me. And we talked nonstop whenever we were together. We’d laugh, we’d argue, we’d flirt. And yet, when the hour was over, we’d go our separate ways and have no other contact with each other whatsoever until the next class.

Because of that, I didn’t want to put too much hope into whatever I felt like was growing between us, but the hope kind of blossomed anyway. I just couldn’t help it. I liked Julian. I liked him a lot.

So when I walked into class for what was supposed to be our last practice together, since he’d be trying out for the team the next day and I’d be surprising my mom with her special anniversary dance the day after that, I was equal parts excited to see him and equal parts sad. I didn’t want this to be our last day together.

I mean, I knew we would be going to the same school this next year—which was a relief to realize I’d actually know someone there—but I still wanted to keep spending time with him like we did in class. You know, close-contact kind of time. I was trying to boost myself into asking him if he’d want to go on an actual date with me, practicing the words in my head, when I glanced up and saw him talking to another girl.

Leticia Marsh was one of Skylar’s friends and another fabulous dancer who volunteered at the academy, teaching a class to younger kids as well. She was also tall and slim like Skylar, which made me wrinkle my nose bitterly as she laughed at something Julian said, leaning in toward him intimately as she touched his arm.

“You’re so funny,” she told him, her voice carrying across the room and making me roll my eyes.

Ha ha, you’re so lame, I muttered in my head, projecting my sour thoughts her way, wishing diarrhea or something on her. Even though I felt like the lame one because I was growing jealous of some girl for merely talking to the guy I liked. Insecure much, I asked myself.

Turning away, I plopped onto the floor and started my stretching exercises while Julian and Leticia talked on, oblivious to my presence. They didn’t stop until a couple of six-year-olds entered, talking loudly enough to interrupt them.

“Well, I guess I better let you start your warm-ups,” Leticia told Julian with a regretful smile as she touched his arm yet again before slowly backing away. “And let me know if you ever change your mind about getting together and doing something some time.”

“Will do,” Julian answered pleasantly, waving her away and watching her until she disappeared from the room.

When he finally turned my way, his face registered surprise before it broke into a smile. “Hey!” He jogged over. “I didn’t see you come in.”

“Hmm,” I answered bitterly, focusing on stretching my arm across my chest and holding my elbow in place. “Yeah, you looked pretty occupied.”

“Oh.” He seemed a little taken aback by the ice in my voice before he pointed toward the doorway. “Yeah, that was one of my sister’s friends. We’ve known her since forever.”

I nodded. “She’s pretty.”

He shrugged. “I guess.”

Silence flowered between us, and it was an awkward uncomfortable silence at that, one we hadn’t experienced since the first few days of class. Julian sat next to me, but instead of starting his own warm-up stretches, he scratched the back of his neck. “So, this is the last day of class for both of us.”

“Yep,” I answered emotionlessly.

He nodded. “It’s strange. It was the very last thing I wanted to do, and yet…now I’m going to miss it.” His gaze shifted my way, and it seemed to say, I’m going to miss you. But that was probably just a stupid, hopeful wish on my part.

Sighing, I glanced his way and murmured a quiet, “Yeah.” I was going to miss it too.

When he opened his mouth, I held my breath, wishing he’d ask to see me again, but his sister breezed into the room, a flurry of excitement, clapping her hands and bubbling with praise as she thanked all the students for being in her class throughout the summer. As she talked on about how much she was going to miss everyone and how proud she was of us, Julian scooted across the floor closer to me, hissing, “Hey.”

I glanced over and caught his concerned look as he mouthed the words, “You okay?”

No, I wanted to weep. I was so far and gone away from okay it was pathetic. I didn’t want to say goodbye to him, and I wanted to keep seeing him outside class, but now I was too insecure and afraid to ask after seeing Leticia—the beautiful, fabulous dancer—basically just ask him out.

Shrugging, I said, “I’m fine.”

His brows furrowed, letting me know he was confused by my response, probably because my body language said one thing while my mouth said another.

“Julian,” his sister called, breaking into our moment. “Nia. I think I left my box of awards in the supply closet. Do you think you two could go fetch it for me? I’m not sure exactly where I left it so you might have to search a while.”

When her brother zipped her a short frown, she sent him a meaningful look before darting her gaze my way. They seemed to have a silent sibling-type argument to which Julian must’ve lost because he huffed out an aggravated breath and jerked to his feet, muttering, “Fine.”

He stormed toward the closed door of the supply closet, only to pause when he reached it so he could wait on me to enter first. As soon as I stepped inside, I spotted the box full of certificates and little presents wrapped in neat bows sitting on a cart in the center of the room.

“Uh… Aren’t these the awards right here?”

I turned back, jumping when Julian closed the door behind himself, closing us alone inside the closet.

He shook his head slowly, beginning to smile. “You know, I don’t think my sister’s ever played wing woman for me before but I gotta admit, I like it.”

I blinked at him, utterly confused. “What?”

He took his hand off the doorknob and stepped toward me. “She knows I like you, so she just gave us an excuse to have a moment alone together so I could tell you that.”

“She…” I swallowed, pretty sure I was hearing things. Shaking my head, I gulped. “But… You can’t.”

His lips quirked with amusement. “I can’t what? Can’t steal a moment alone with you, tell you I like you, or I can’t like you, period?”

“What about Leticia?” I blurted, feeling like a moron as soon as I spoke the words. Because, honestly, I didn’t care a lick about Leticia. If Julian wanted to tell me he liked me, I was all for it.

Julian paused and cocked his head to the side. “What about her?”

“Well, I just sat out there and watched as she basically asked you out.”

“Then, you must’ve also been sitting there and watching when I basically turned her down,” Julian countered, arching an eyebrow and grinning mischievously. Then he stepped toward me again. “Turns out, I have my eye on someone else. Someone shorter, and curvier, and pretty much the only girl I can actually dance with.”

My breath caught, and the hope inside me exploded into a shower of euphoria. “Really?” I asked, still not daring to believe what I was hearing.

“Really,” he murmured, slipping his finger under my chin so I’d lift my face for him. Then he pressed his mouth to mine, and life suddenly became amazing. I clutched the front of his shirt as he cupped my face and deepened the contact.

Chapter Five

Julian

So, I made the football team.

It was the most embarrassing tryouts of my life, but also the most awesome. Even though no other player’s family showed up to watch, my entire family did, and when I say entire, I mean even extended members, like my mom’s cousin’s sister-in-law’s six-year-old daughter, Haven, along with her parents, Sarah and Brandt, and Aunt Reese herself, sitting next to Uncle Mason and their twins, and just everyone. Yeah, little Haven might also be the coach’s niece, but still… They all sat with my family in the bleachers and clapped, hollering encouragingly whenever it was my turn to run the fifty-yard dash or throw the ball. Skylar had made signs that said shit like “You can do it, Julian,” and all my siblings and cousins held them up to cheer me on.

It kind of made me a little emotional. I’d come a long way from being that abandoned baby, left with a stepdad who didn’t know shit about kids. Made me love my crazy, huge concoction of relatives all the more. I glanced up at everyone, focusing on my parents as Dad slung his arm around Mom’s shoulders and rested his temple against hers in a prideful way only parents did when watching their kid succeed at something. And I spotted my nine-year-old brother, Trick, as he flirted with Nia, and—wait!

Even Nia was here?

I faltered, blinking at her. When she caught my gaze, she shrugged ruefully and waved back before pointing at Skylar as if to tell me my sister had been the one to orchestrate her presence. I chuckled, deciding I owed Sky big-time as I blew a kiss Nia’s way and jogged over to get into line for the tire run.

The tire run was going to be the biggest test for me, since it involved more foot-eye coordination than anything else we’d be evaluated on. I knew I could run, and I knew I could throw. But I could only cross my fingers and hope that I’d gotten good enough with all the drills and dance steps I’d practiced with Nia that I could tire run too. If I could make it through this obstacle course in a decent time and without falling on my face, I knew I’d be in.

And it’d all be because of my wonderful suck buddy.

Once it was my turn, I met Coach’s gaze at the other end of the row of tires. He held a stopwatch as he scrutinized me intently, nodding to let me know he had faith in me. Then he blew his whistle and I took off, my feet dancing through the hole of each tire, so rapidly and gracefully it was like someone else had taken control of my body and was moving for me. Once I was finished, I couldn’t help it, I threw my head back and shot my fists into the air, shouting out my joy. I’d done it. I’d fucking done it. And I hadn’t fallen once.

Noel gave me my time, and holy God, it was good. It wasn’t just good for me alone, either, it was good enough to get me on the team.

Afterward, the family took me out to eat in celebration, and Nia came along. She got a pretty big dose of my world, but she handled it perfectly as if she came from a big family herself, even though for her, it was basically just her and her mom now.

And speaking of her mom, today was Nia’s big day to surprise her mother with the anniversary dance she’d been practicing all summer.

I texted her, anxious and nervous and excited for her. She’d really wanted to make this special for her mom; it made me wish I could’ve sat up in some stands and watched the way she’d watched me the day before to cheer me on.

When she finally responded, her message confused the hell out of me.

Nia: She’s on a date.

Julian: She’s what?

Nia: Um, yeah. I was all ready to surprise her after she got off work. But she just called to tell me some guy whose hair she cut asked her out for drinks after hours, and she said yes, so… She’s not coming home any time soon.

My mouth fell open. I almost got ticked at her mom for doing this to Nia after she’d worked and slaved and really put herself out there to do something special to cheer the woman up, but then, if she was moving on from her ex-husband and accepting a date from some other guy, I guess she wouldn’t even need to be cheered up on what Nia had worried would be a sad day for her.

But how had this affected Nia?

Julian: For real?

Nia: Yeah. I know. This was the last thing I was expecting. But it’s good. It’s great. I just wanted her to be happy today, and she sounded happy.

Julian: But what about all that hard work you put into learning how to dance to that song for her?

Nia: It’s okay. Really. I mean, I kind of feel silly now for putting so much importance on something that ended up being not a big deal, but I’m glad things worked out this way even more.

Julian: It wasn’t silly at all. You worked your ass off.

Nia: I know, but hey, it wasn’t a complete waste of time. It brought me to you, it helped you make the team, and now we’re both okayish dancers. I mean, at least we don’t suck anymore.

Julian: Does this mean I have to stop calling you my suck buddy?

Nia: Oh, God. YES! I wish you would forget that term for like ever.

Julian: Not a chance. I love that term.

Nia: But it’s AWFUL!

Julian: Is not. Hey, do me a favor, will you?

Nia: Anything.

Julian: Open your front door so at least SOMEONE can dance with you on this special occasion you've been preparing for all summer long.

A few seconds later, the door to Nia’s apartment flew open and she shrieked out her surprise when she saw me standing there, cell phone in hand.

“Oh my God. Julian! What’re you doing?”

Pocketing my phone, I grinned at her. “I hopped in my car and started over as soon as I heard you didn’t get to dance with your mom.”

Tears filled her eyes and a huge smile overtook her face. “But I told you it was okay. I didn’t need to—”

“Shh.” Stepping into her apartment, I drew my arms around her and kissed her long and gently. When I pulled back, her eyelashes fluttered open. “Sometime during this last month, that dance stopped being about you and your mom, and it became ours. So I’m actually kind of excited that she doesn’t get to have it with you, because I’ve been jealous all day that someone else was taking my dance partner away from me.”

Shaking with laughter and tears and smiles, Nia just shook her head and grabbed me in for a hard hug. “Well, we can’t have that.”

“Good,” I said drawing back, so I could pull my cell phone from my pocket and bring up the song that went with the dance we’d been practicing. “In that case…” As the first strains began, I held out my hand to her. “May I have this dance?”

The End

Part Three

Once Upon a Canoe Trip

For Lindsay B.

Who decided to email me

one day in twenty-one-three.

Thank you eternally

for the friendship and tea.

1

JB

I don’t know why I always ended up agreeing to camp overnight with my family following a day of canoeing with them. Even if I weren’t ready to escape their annoying drunk asses after being stuck on a river with them for ten hours straight, I was usually so dehydrated, sunburned, exhausted, and hungover to properly socialize that I crashed by seven or eight o’clock that night, anyway.

It would’ve been so much nicer to just drive the two hours home, take a shower, and pass out in my own, comfortable, mosquito-free bed.

But nope. Mom had looked at me with that look of hers, the one I could never turn down, and said, “You’re staying, right? We barely see you anymore since…since you started med school.”

So here I was, waking up in the dark of night to people laughing and talking a foot from my head as they passed my tent, only a thin layer of canvas separating my skull from getting pancaked by some dude’s flip-flop.

“What...?” I mumbled, disorientation clouding my thoughts until I remembered exactly where I was and what I was doing here.

Groaning, I shifted on the hard ground because my brother had forgotten to load the inflatable mattresses—even though I’d asked him twice if he’d grabbed them when we’d packed for the trip this morning—and I gasped in pain when my sunburned shoulder scraped raw against the zippered inseam of my sleeping bag.

Oh, God, that hurt. That really, really hurt.

Waves from the river surged nearby, sounding close, so close that even though I knew better, it momentarily made me wonder if the water level had risen so much since I’d gone to bed that I was about to be swept downstream and lost forever.

My semi-awake status morphed into way more awake than I wanted to be, and I shivered, burrowing deeper into my coverings. Damn, but I swear the temperature had dropped about thirty degrees since the ninety-degree weather we’d floated in all day. The damp, outdoor mustiness in my sleeping bag made me even more irritable, while my mouth was so dry it felt like a desert up in there.

What the hell time was it? I was beyond ready to go home now. We’d finished our canoe trip at six this evening. Then a crazy, death-defying bus driver had shuttled us back to our campsite, where all the moms had roasted hot dogs, s’mores, and tin foil-wrapped corn on the cob over the fire pit.

I hadn’t lasted much after that, stumbling my way to my tent and passing out within minutes. The last thing I remember was my brother’s chuckle as he called me a lightweight and then reassuringly patted my shoulder, telling me it was okay, we could switch, before everything went blank. Switch what; I had no idea. I’d find out in the morning, I guess.

Which hopefully had to be soon. Right? Please almost be here, morning.

Patting my hand around my head in the dark until I found my cell phone, I winced against the sudden flare of light and checked the time only to groan when I learned in was merely eleven—probably too late to pack up and head home yet way too early for my peace of mind to stick around here for another seven hours until sunrise.

God, this sucked.

I turned my phone off, pitching the tent into darkness once again, and I rolled onto my back, trying to go easy on my sunburn, only to whimper when a load of sore muscles screamed in agony.

Maybe if Luke, my canoe partner, hadn’t been so busy flirting with every unattached-looking female we passed on the water, he might’ve actually helped me with some of the rowing and I wouldn’t hurt so much right now. But nope, he’d been his typical turd brother self, and here I was, suffering for it.

Man, I was really thirsty. I wondered if I’d brought a bottle of water into the tent with me earlier. That would be my saving grace, because I was too tired to crawl out and go searching through all the coolers for a drink. From the sounds of it, everyone else in my camp party had settled in for the night, too, so I couldn’t be lazy and just call for someone to fetch me a bottle, either. Damn. I guess I’d just have to hope to fall back to sleep sometime soon.

If I were really lucky, maybe I’d never wake up. The way my life had been going lately, that’d probably be for the best.

I shifted back onto my side and punched at the lump of clothes under my head that was doubling as my pillow, trying to mold it into a more comfortable shape but failing.

Just as I closed my eyes, a zipping sound startled me alert. Not daring to breathe, I focused on the front of my tent where I swear I heard it being opened.

Yep, it was definitely my tent. I could make out a distinct human-shaped form just outside, attempting to breach the entrance.

It was most likely someone from my group. Every person I’d canoed with today was either family or they might as well be because I’d known them my entire life. None of them would have any qualms about barging in to borrow something or play a dirty trick on me.

But there was still that slim possibility it was a stranger, intent to rob, maim, or kill.

Every muscle in my body tensed when a head-shaped blob poked through the opening. If Luke was trying to prank me, I’d kill him. That’s all there was to it. I was not in the mood for fun and games at my expense tonight.

“Psst,” the intruder whispered. “Luke. Hey, Luke? You awake?”

I let out a silent breath. While I was grateful it wasn’t a stranger, I rolled my eyes dramatically because I knew that whisper. Oh, how I knew that whisper.

Teagan Tenning wasn’t my sister—she wasn’t even related—but she might as well be from the way we’d been raised together. She was younger, yet I couldn’t recall a memory growing up when she hadn’t been right there, tagging along behind Luke and me, always trying to catch up so she could play with us. I think we spent more time trying to invent creative ways to avoid her than we did actually playing.

Since it’d been Luke’s name she’d called, not mine, I resorted to one of my childhood tactics and pretended to be asleep so she’d go away. But I should’ve known better; that had never worked then, and it didn’t seem to work now.

The brat came right on in.

Damn, even if I were Luke, couldn’t she see I was asleep and wanted to be left alone?

Apparently not.

No one left me alone anymore. It was annoying as hell. Ever since my failed engagement, family and friends had been all up in my business, constantly bothering me and trying to drag me back into the herd to heal me or some such shit. But couldn’t they see it was too late for that? I was broken. Dead inside. And everything sucked. Even the fact that Teagan was here to see Luke, not me. Not that I wanted her to bother me. I just wanted to be left alone. But still… It sucked to be thrown over for my own brother.

Once she made it inside, getting her foot caught in the opening and nearly tripping and falling on me, she rustled around, making enough noise that she would’ve definitely woken me by now if I’d really been asleep in the first place.

What the hell was she doing? I couldn’t crank my head and look—not that I’d see much in the dark—because the movement would alert her to the fact I was awake, but whatever it was seemed to take a lot of squirming and cursing under her breath.

Typical. Teagan had never been able to stay still. Or quiet.

But couldn’t she go make a commotion in someone else’s tent? Say Luke’s? Since that’s who she’d been seeking in the first place. My tent was blue. His was red. They were impossible to mistake.

She lost her footing, then cursed again, and stumbled around to right herself, only to step on my ankle.

“Ouch,” I bellowed, jerking my foot away and making her yelp in surprise. “What the fuck, T?”

“Oh my God! I am so sorry.” She patted around my leg as if trying to find my ankle and assess the damage. “Are you okay? I totally didn’t mean to do that.”

“I’ll live,” I grumbled, tugging my foot out of her grip when she actually found it and latched on so hard it made the pain in my ankle spike instead of abate.

“Oh. Good.” She blew out an audible breath and stroked my knee through the covers in reassurance. “In that case, let me in your sleeping bag, will you? It’s fucking freezing out here.”

“What? Why? There’s no room. Why don’t you go find your own sleeping bag in your own tent?”

She let out an aggravated sigh. “Because I’m conducting an experiment. Now would you please just let me in already before I get hypothermia?”

I rolled my eyes over her typical dramatics but fumbled for the zipper of my sleeping bag even as I grumbled, “What the hell kind of experiment involves you climbing into my sleeping bag with me?”

“I’ll show you,” she assured. “Just hurry before I freeze my nips off.”

“It’s not that cold,” I argued, irritated she had to go and bring up her nipples, because now I was thinking about them, along with the breasts they dwelled upon.

It really pissed me off that she’d gone and developed tits. And really nice tits at that.

The worst thing about Teagan was that when she’d grown up, she’d grown up hot, like fucking hot, like “bite your knuckles while you groan and stare lustfully” hot. It wasn’t right at all. When I’d been twelve, she’d been six. When I’d been eighteen, she’d been twelve. And when she’d been fifteen, popping feminine curves like some kind of sex goddess, I’d been way too old to be looking. I had no idea how Luke had managed to tease her about it, snapping the back of her bra and laughing like a dork when she’d started wearing one, because I’d only been able to blush and clear my throat uncomfortably, looking away because I felt like some kind of lecher.

But what the hell, nature? Seriously. Teagan was supposed to remain that annoying little tagalong who could in no way, shape, or form turn me on.

The weirdest part about her grown-up status was that she was no longer too young. She was twenty now, and her cousin Beau had set me up on a blind date with a twenty-year-old just last month—his way of helping me get over Sonya. It hadn’t worked. But nothing did these days. I was firmly stuck in my funk.

Not that I could focus on funks or failed relationships right now. Right now, all my brain could seem to register was: she’s twenty now.

She’s twenty.

Holy shit, Teagan was twenty.

Don’t ask me why I kept thinking about her finally being in my dating range; I’d never once thought about dating her before, but she was currently crawling into my sleeping bag with me for reasons unknown and talking about her hard nipples, so it was kind of impossible for my brain to not go there.

So…

Yeah.

There went my brain, along with a couple other body parts, going places they most definitely should not.

“It’s not that warm either,” Teagan muttered as she crawled over me, nearly kneeing me in the junk as she opened the unzipped part of my bag—proving to me that it really was fucking freezing outside—and she started to shimmy in, her bare legs brushing against mine, which made even more unwanted things in me stir to life.

“Careful,” I strained, sensing nothing but disaster in our future.

“I’m being careful,” she hissed, clearly annoyed, a second before she got caught up in something and fell flat on top of me with a painful thud.

I grunted through a wince. “Ouch.”

“Oh my God,” she immediately gushed. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

I muttered a no, I was not okay—I was annoyed to hell and back—a split second before I realized, wow, she wasn’t lying about her nipples. They were really hard and cold enough to break right off her.

Now ask me how I knew that?

Well, I’m going to tell you.

I knew because her fucking nipples were gouging holes into my fucking chest, flesh against flesh, as in…I wasn’t wearing a shirt any more than she was wearing a shirt. Or a bra.

“What the hell?” I yelped, jumping so hard I jostled her into sliding off me.

I wasn’t sure why I tried to catch her; it wasn’t as if she would’ve fallen far—maybe six inches. But instinct had me clutching her hip to steady her, only to get a palm full of bare ass in the process.

And... Now would be a good time to pause in order to mention one other thing.

Teagan Tenning’s ass.

If anything was hotter than T’s breasts, it was her world-class ass. And her world-class ass was currently curved flush against my entire hand.

“What the fuck!” I cried a little louder this time. “Are you naked? Why in the holy hell are you—”

“Shh.” She slapped a hand against my mouth and moved her own next to my ear, so she could whisper, “My dad is only three tents away, dumbass.”

On any other occasion, being reminded of Oren Tenning’s proximity while his daughter was naked on top of me would’ve cooled and killed any erection I might’ve even considered sprouting. But fuck, his daughter was naked on top of me. Her breasts were pressing into my chest, her ass was hugging my hand, and her breath was tickling my neck as she whispered into my ear. With all that going on, my dick didn’t give a shit where her dad was. It thickened and swelled and… Oh, God… There was no way she was going to miss it digging into her thigh.

Shoving her hand off my mouth as I discreetly shifted my hips in a way that eased some space between her leg and my groin, I hissed, “Then why the hell are you naked in my sleeping bag?”

“I told you,” she hissed right back. “I’m conducting an experiment.”

“What the fuck kind of ex—”

“Shh.” She pressed her hand back to my mouth, muffling me. “Will you please just let me try something?”

She sounded about as irritated as I felt. She was probably giving me the same squinty-eyed glare I was giving her. Not that I could tell in the dark; I could barely make out the shape of her head.

I grabbed her wrist to remove her hand again, but then she did the craziest thing I swear Teagan had ever done. She used the fingers of her free hand to coast them down the side of my rib cage. The caress was so light and sensual, with the barest hint of fingernails, that I shuddered, squeezing the wrist of her hand on my mouth without remembering to remove it.

“I just want to know if touching you like this would be weird,” she murmured, her breath stirring tendrils of hair on the side of my neck. “Or would it be...something else.”

She reached the waistband of my boxer shorts, which was the only piece of clothing separating us, and I froze, waiting for her next move, a bead of anticipatory sweat slipping down my brow.

When she started back up, coasting her fingers over my side once again, I couldn’t swallow down the groan that followed. But this wasn’t fair. Her touch felt too good, her naked body was too soft and curvy, her scent too sweet. Hell, she didn’t even smell like dried, fishy river water, like she should, but something tart, and flowery, and nice. I let her skim her hand along my torso, slowly, dragging me under and into her seduction without a single rebuke.

My head fell back, exposing my throat, and I panted as our shared body heat had me straining for more.

The hand over my mouth moved, cupping my jaw before traveling down the side of my throat.

“Yes,” she cooed triumphantly. “You like that, don’t you?”

Mother fucking Christ, I did. A lot.

Then, all ten of her fingers moved over me, stroking up my chest and curling over my shoulders. For some reason, I’d never quite let go of her ass, so when I arched my hips up, fitting us together without meaning to, my betraying hand helped my equally traitorous hips along, urging her up from behind, until fuck, that hot paradise between her legs settled right against my erection.

We sucked in a simultaneous breath of surprise.

“Oh,” she said.

Yeah. Oh. I felt exactly the same, except my oh was more of an oh damn, why had I done that? I hadn’t meant to do that. Whereas hers seemed like an oh, that was a delightful surprise.

Which made me unable to regret the move, especially when she bit out a small moan and ground back against me, riding me with the sweetest dry hump I’d ever experienced.

Jesus, oh Jesus, what was happening?

“Oh my God, wow,” she whispered, moving her mouth until her breath fell against my lips. “What do you think would happen if I kissed you? Like right now?”

I didn’t answer.

But I couldn’t.

Because it was a trick question.

I couldn’t say yes, you see. Then I’d be admitting I was cognizant enough to realize this was Teagan naked on top of me, touching me and talking about kissing. Teagan, the little girl I’d grown up with and spent most of my childhood trying to avoid. No way in a rational, thinking moment would I agree to kiss Teagan. At least, I didn’t think I would. But, fuck, I wanted to taste her right now. I didn’t care if she was most likely off-limits or not.

I wanted her.

I needed her.

She was Teagan. She had a way a breathing life into everyone around her. And I needed that after feeling broken and lifeless for so long.

“You gotta answer me, baby,” she coaxed, cupping my cheeks in her hands, making my entire body strain for more of that contact everywhere. “I’m not doing anything until I have your full permission.”

Damn, her mouth was like right there. Erase two inches and we’d already be kissing the fuck out of each other.

“Yes or no?” she murmured, running her fingers up from my cheeks and into my hair, which made me catch my breath and want to start spouting yes in every language I knew.

Until suddenly, she paused when her fingers encountered the scar hidden at the edge of my hairline. I could damn near feel her confused frown as she investigated the puckered surface.

I knew she knew what the two-inch wound was. At least, she should be familiar with the mark, since she’d been the one to give it to me when she was seven.

The girl hated being taunted, a lesson I’d learned at thirteen when she’d hit me with a gardening spade after I’d made fun of her hair when she’d cut it herself, butchering the blonde locks all to hell. I knew she hadn’t meant to hurt me as badly as she had when she’d cried harder than I did afterward. Then she’d held my hand all the way to the hospital and even into the ER room, where I’d gotten six stitches.

She continued dabbing at the scar another second before she gasped and went strangely still on top of me. Then she whispered, “JB?”

That’s when I remembered it hadn’t been my name she’d said when she’d first crawled into my tent.

2

JB

Ah, shit.

She’d come here to seduce Luke. Not me.

While I’d been grinding against her, wanting her, she’d been touching him, wanting him. I was such an idiot.

Mortification cloaked me like a rash. I refused to admit I felt rejected, or hurt, or upset about this, or even mildly jealous of my own brother, because then I’d have to admit I’d liked what she’d been doing, that I’d wanted her to keep doing it. But I hadn’t.

Had I?

God, yes. Yes, I had.

“Get off,” I rasped, needing her to stop sitting on my hard-on more than I needed my next breath, because no matter what I was feeling, it wasn’t a positive emotion, and I wasn’t going to stop feeling it until she was far, far away.

She must’ve agreed because she immediately scrambled off, cursing and kneeing me all over the place to escape.

Once she was out of my sleeping bag and on the opposite side of the tent, I sat up, listening to the rustle of clothing that she was no doubt putting back on, and I allowed the gravity of the situation to descend fully.

One, which was the worst if you asked me, Teagan now knew she could turn me on in zero seconds flat. I would probably never live that fact down in her book.

Two, I now knew she had a thing for Luke, which at any other time would’ve given me a one-up on her, to heckle her mercilessly…if it weren’t for number one.

And three... “What the fuck were you thinking?” I hissed. “Your parents are three tents away! Hell, my parents, everyone and their goddamn parents are all around us, and you decided that, what...this would be the ideal time to get kinky with my brother?”

She huffed out an annoyed breath. “Oh, will you stop? You make it sound like I ran off all willy-nilly and did a stupid thing without even thinking it through.”

“Well, didn’t you?” I demanded. “Because, really, what the hell did you think to accomplish here?”

“I told you,” she muttered petulantly. “I was just trying something.” With another sniff, she mumbled the next part so lowly I couldn’t quite hear her and probably didn’t want to, because the part I could understand after that was damaging enough. “This is why I chose Luke. Not you. At least he wouldn’t give me a goddamn lecture afterward like some eighty-year-old grandpa who’s too old and wise and responsible to even attempt trying something that might end up being remotely fun.”

Her words cut straight into me, because they sounded too similar to some of the things Sonya had rambled before she’d given me my ring back and taken off for good. I drew in a deep breath, trying not to think about that, even as it replayed in vivid Technicolor through my head. “You have no passion. No soul. All you ever worry about is doing what’s responsible and right. You’re like a robot. Well, I want a flesh and blood man.”

Memories wrapped around my chest like vines, tangling and tightening until it felt as if I was suffocating, while next to me, Teagan raged on.

“What the hell are you doing in Luke’s tent, anyway?”

This, I could at least respond to. “I’m not in Luke’s tent. Luke’s tent is red.”

“I know. That’s why I crawled into this tent. Because it’s fucking red, dumbass.”

“Stop calling me a dumbass. I know what tent I’m in. I’m in mine, and it’s goddamn blue. Now leave me alone and go rub your tits on Luke… Since that’s who you wanted all along.”

Except that wasn’t what I wanted her to do, not at all, because the idea of her doing to Luke what she’d just done to me made my heart pound, my equilibrium go wonky, and my amygdala trigger like crazy until I experienced vivid visions of doing my own brother bodily harm. And oh hell, I think I sounded as jealous and petulant in my head as I suddenly felt.

What in God’s name was happening to me?

This was Teagan. Teagan!

“Maybe you need to go back to kindergarten and relearn your colors, bud, because the tent we’re in doesn’t get any redder than this.”

Before I knew what she was about, she flashed her phone on and held it next to the canvas wall to prove to me that the color of the tent was a bright, startling crimson that in no way could ever be mistaken for blue.

My mouth fell open. I shook my head in denial. “What the hell?” Grasping Teagan’s wrist, I forced her to move the phone around so I could determine it was also Luke’s sleeping bag, and duffle, and unopened, party-size bag of peanut M&M’s surrounding me. “Why am I in Luke’s tent?”

“Good question, dumbass.”

I shot Teagan a scowl, only to gulp when I realized this was the first time I’d seen her face since I’d felt up her ass and breasts and ground my dick between her legs. For some reason, she looked different. Her lips were plusher and her eyes a little darker and bigger—the pupils still dilated with arousal. Her hair wasn’t fixed at all but still stringy and crunchy as if all she’d done since getting it wet in the river was maybe run her fingers through it a few times and let it air dry. She looked hot as hell with no makeup on, just the tops of her cheeks a little sunburned. Made a guy want to grab handfuls of that tangled blonde mess and haul her plush mouth in for the kiss of a lifetime.

And here came the wood again, growing hard and ready. Stupid pecker. Didn’t it realize this was Teagan I was looking at, the aggravating little brat who’d just called me a dumbass three times in the past five minutes? The hot-as-hell woman who wanted my brother, not me?

Apparently not, because it just kept growing and aching until my idiot heart joined in, thumping out a hard tattoo on the inside of my rib cage.

Sympathy flashed in Teagan’s eyes as she met my gaze before she flicked her phone off, plunging us back into darkness. “You were pretty tanked when you stood up from supper and announced you were going to bed. You probably just crawled into the wrong tent.”

“I wasn’t that far gone,” I argued, mostly just for the sake of not agreeing with her, because yeah, I’d been pretty far gone.

But I’d just needed something a little extra to get me through the day. The family had wanted me to be happy, so I’d downed some liquid giddy to help with that, except it’d only left me feeling more depressed, not happier.

“Yeah,” Teagan murmured softly, sympathetically. “You really were. I honestly don’t know if I’ve ever seen you that drunk before. Poor Zoey worried all afternoon about you falling out of your canoe and drowning.”

Well shit, no wonder why Mom had asked me to stay the night. I hadn’t meant to worry her. Or anyone.

Warm fingers grazed my arm. “You’re still not over the breakup with Sonya, are you?”

The fact that I wanted to punch something every time someone asked me that probably meant, no, I wasn’t over the breakup.

But I was over Sonya. I hadn’t cried or even been devastated when she’d left, which spooked me the most and had me thinking maybe she’d been right; I had no humanity, no passion. I’d been willing to marry her; shouldn’t I have felt something at her departure? Had I always been this broken inside?

I didn’t want her to be right, I didn’t want to face the fact that I was a human robot. I didn’t want to think about her or my goddamn, hopeless soul at all, so my anger immediately shot through the roof the moment anyone even dared to mention the entire dreaded subject.

Growling, “I’m just fine, thank you very much,” I jerked my arm free from Teagan and sniffed moodily. “I went on a date just a few weeks ago, in fact. So—”

“Really? Wow, it must not have been a very remarkable date then, because I never heard about it.”

That only made me scowl harder. “Well maybe you’re not privy to everything that happens in my life.”

She snorted. “Yeah, right. As close as our families are, I doubt there’s anything we don’t know about each other.”

Wrong. I hadn’t known how awesome her tits could feel against my chest until tonight or how tight, and warm, and smooth her ass would be in my hands.

But thinking of that brought up the whole mistaken identity thing and the fact that I’d only gotten to learn those things because I’d been too drunk to crawl into my own damn tent.

“Why don’t you go bother Luke already,” I mumbled. He was the one she wanted anyway. Not me. No one wanted a heartless robot like me.

“Wow,” she murmured in quiet rebuke. “Okay, then. Fine. You’re in a crap mood. I get that. And I take full responsibility for it, since I’m the one who woke you in the first place from your drunken coma and riled the beast. So I’ll just leave you alone now to stew in your own pity party. Hope you don’t choke on all that misery you’re gulping.”

She moved to the tent opening and unzipped it, provoking me further. “I’m sure I’ll find Luke in your blue tent since you stole his. I mean, wasn’t that just so sweet and considerate of him not to wake you and kick you out of his sleeping bag? Just like Luke, always rolling with change, adjusting accordingly without complaint or—”

“Good night, T.”

I didn’t mean to interrupt her so harshly, but she’d succeeded in nailing me with a direct hit, because Luke was the funny, charming, easygoing one. He’d ended up with all the vivacity and spirit I lacked. He was a fucking paragon of passion. And apparently he was the one she wanted.

“Yeah,” she murmured awkwardly as if she were beginning to realize she’d gone too far. “Night, J.” The brief impression of fingers fluttered over my sleeping bag, barely grazing my knee as she added, “Sorry I woke you,” although I knew she really meant she was sorry for upsetting me.

Fucking Teagan. She’d always been such a feisty fighter, giving just as hard as she got. But the moment she realized she’d actually hurt someone, she turned into a freaking marshmallow. She could beat herself up for her mistakes like no one I knew. It hurt more to watch her go into self-blame mode than whatever she’d done to hurt me in the first place, which was one reason why I’d always ended up forcing Luke to let her play with us, after all, when we were kids. Life was better when Teagan was sassy and happy.

So my first instinct was to stop her and fix this, coax her back into being the only girl who had no qualms about calling me a dumbass, and the only girl who probably never actually meant it.

But that broken, hopeless part of me that had taken control lately kept me mute. And so, I let her go. She zipped the tent closed behind her with a finality that caused a lump to form in my throat.

Her absence immediately consumed the space around me with a heaviness that told me there was no way I’d be falling back to sleep any time soon. I’d spend the rest of the night wondering what was happening over in my blue tent.

Oh, God.

I recalled her tumbling on top of me, her breasts bouncing against my chest, her ass slipping into my hands, her scent in my nose. The sorrow and compassion in her tone when she’d tried to get me to open up. The way every molecule in my body had focused on her every moment we’d been together.

Damn, what was wrong with me? She was Teagan.

And I’d just sent her to my brother.

With a groan, I flopped back down onto my—er, Luke’s—sleeping bag, cursing when my sunburn scraped against abrasive cloth. My head pounded from the hangover I had, and my mouth was still dry as fuck.

This sucked.

I wanted Teagan back, even if it was for her to merely sit next to me, calling me a dumbass, because that’s exactly how I was behaving.

Moodily, I slapped out my hand toward the spot where she’d been sitting only a moment ago, trying to dispel her memory…or maybe I was trying to capture any leftover warmth she might’ve left behind. I don’t know. My head was in such a fucked-up place. Maybe if Sonya hadn’t screwed me over so bad and made me believe I was a lost cause, I wouldn’t be having these thoughts about a girl who was supposed to be like a sister to me. I wouldn’t be wanting her like—

My fingers encountered something foreign, something full of silk, and lace, and feminine slink. I cursed fluidly. These were definitely not Luke’s underwear.

But seriously, how in God’s name had Teagan not realized she’d left her panties behind? Seemed like something a person would notice missing.

Unless she already knew she would just be taking them off again in a few moments, once she reached Luke.

Fuck.

I clenched my fingers around silk and lace, and sat up, crawling toward the opening of the tent, where I fumbled in the dark for the zipper before I finally managed to tear it down. In a small, cornered part of my brain, I knew I was only following her because I didn’t want her to make it to Luke, because I wanted her to come back to me, but the rest of my brain convinced myself this was merely for propriety’s sake. Because I should not be in possession of any part of Teagan’s lingerie.

“Hey!” I hissed, poking my head into the cool night.

Shit, Teagan hadn’t lied. I think my own nips wanted to freeze off my chest. “Psst. Teagan Marie Tenning,” I growled a little louder, and started to shiver. “You left your panties behind. Teagan!”

“I’ll take those,” a male voice answered a split second before the bit of cloth was ripped from my clutches.

Nearly swallowing my tongue, I looked up slowly at the silhouette towering over me. He stood just outside my tent like a menacing shadow of doom. I couldn’t see his face in the dark, but I knew his voice as well as I did my own father’s.

Ah, hell. This was probably going to hurt. A lot.

A second later, he said, “Now, would you like to tell me why my daughter just crawled out of your tent, leaving her underwear behind?”

3

Teagan

I’d just reached my own tent and was about to crawl inside like the embarrassed, humiliated mess I was when I heard the shout.

“HAM!” my father’s distinctive bellow rang out through the quiet night. “Quinn fucking Hamilton, get your fucking ass out here right fucking now before I kill your fucking kid!”

Ah, shit.

Dad knew.

How the hell did Dad already know what had happened? I swear, that man had a nanny cam planted up my ass. It was freaky weird how fast he learned shit about anything I ever did.

Then again, Mr. Goody-two-shoes JB had probably run straight to him and confessed all as soon as I had left. I could picture it now. I just thought you should know, sir. I’m so sorry, but I just felt up your daughter’s ass and tits, sir. They were so nice and warm and round they gave me wood, so you probably need to cut my hands off now, sir. And maybe my dick too. Ugh. He was nauseatingly respectful and noble like that. Honestly the best person I knew.

And now I was going to have to stop my dad from killing the dumbass Boy Scout.

“Frigging idiot,” I muttered, shimmying backward out of the tent.

Once I was upright, I raced toward Luke’s red tent, only to skid to a confused halt when I found my dad yelling obscenities at…a tree.

Around me, everyone else was appearing, flashlights popping on as Quinn scrambled from his portable shelter, followed by his wife, Zoey, and my mom climbing from her and Dad’s tent, rubbing her eyes and yawning. Then Uncle Noel, Uncle Colton, aunts, cousins, Luke. They all came flooding to the scene, demanding to know what was going on.

“What the hell?” my cousin Beau asked, poking his head from the opening of his own cubby hole, right by where I had jarred myself to a halt. “Why is your dad screaming at a tree?” he asked me moodily. “Seriously. My pregnant wife is growing a human being in here; she needs her beauty sleep.”

I rolled my eyes. Bentley was like five minutes pregnant, and Beau had to go and mention that fact in every sentence he spoke. It would’ve been incredibly sweet if it weren’t so damn annoying.

“Shh,” I hissed, waving him quiet, just as my mom demanded, “Baby, what are you shouting about?” as she pushed tangled blonde hair out of her face and yawned. “Did you have another one of your weird dreams?”

“I did not have a goddamn dream,” Dad growled. “I woke up to Teagan’s voice only to glance out of my tent and find her slinking from this tent where his asshole son”—he jabbed his finger forcefully toward Quinn—“followed her out, waving her panties around like they were some kind of victory banner.”

Everyone glanced my way, and it felt suspiciously as if they were trying to determine whether I was wearing underwear or not, so I crossed my legs, then my arms over my chest for good measure, because I’d left my bra in that red tent too. Then I scowled back at everyone for looking at me.

Zoey shook her head. “But Luke’s standing right there,” she told my dad, sounding confused as she motioned toward him.

“Not that son.” Dad grabbed Quinn’s flashlight and aimed it up into the tree where JB was spotlighted, clinging to the branches. “This one.”

JB hissed out a breath and lifted his hand to shade his eyes from the direct beam.

How he’d gotten all the way up there, I’ll never know. Although it was tall enough, the tree seriously didn’t seem big enough around to hold him. It was long and skinny and looked as if a mild breeze could knock it over.

“Wow, Mom,” Luke told Zoey dryly. “Thanks for automatically assuming people are talking about me whenever they call your son an asshole.”

No one laughed. Utter silence followed as everyone gaped up at JB in stunned shock.

Then my mom let out a gasp and hopped repeatedly on her bare toes, clapping excitedly. “JB and Teagan? Together? Oh my God, I love it. We should have a Christmas wedding.”

“What?” I roared, gaping at my crazy mother just as JB cried, “No!”

“Yeah, JB’s always preferred the fall,” Zoey announced as if the date were the only problem she had with anything my mother had just suggested.

“We are not getting married,” I announced.

“Uh, maybe you should’ve thought of that before you two hooked up,” Fox snickered, making his pregnant sister hiss at him to shut up from inside her and Beau’s tent.

“We did not hook up,” JB growled. “Teagan, for the love of God, tell them we didn’t hook up.”

When everyone looked my way, I went strangely mute, remembering how close I’d come to kissing him, how nice it’d felt to sit on the hard ridge of his erection as it ground up between my legs. My body was still coming down from the buzz he’d left me with. I wasn’t sure if any guy had ever worked me up quite as much as JB had, and all he’d done was lift his hips a little and touch my butt.

My mind suddenly spun, wondering what he might’ve accomplished if he’d actually put some effort into it. And hell, arousal flushed through me all over again.

“That’s it,” my dad announced, scowling at my dazed expression before I could clear my brain enough to come up with something appropriate to say. “I’m killing him.”

“No,” Quinn said mildly as he grabbed the back of Dad’s shirt, stopping him when he tried to move toward the tree. “You’re not. Stay away from the tree.”

“Why are you in a tree, anyway?” my aunt Julianna asked, blinking up at JB.

“Oh, you know,” JB answered, conversationally, waving his hand and revealing the fact he was wearing nothing but boxer shorts. “It was such a nice night, I thought this would be the best place to avoid being murdered.”

“Well, you can come down,” Uncle Noel assured. “Ten’s not really going to kill you.”

“Yes, I am,” my dad insisted, struggling against JB’s dad.

“Maybe we should hear what Teagan and JB really have to say before we start assuming anything,” Aunt Felicity—who wasn’t really an aunt but might as well be—said.

“Didn’t sound like T had much to say,” Uncle Colton put in, stirring up some knowing chuckles among the group.

“Yes, I do,” I cried, setting my hands on my hips. “You guys didn’t even give me a chance to talk.”

“Then please start talking,” my mother suggested impatiently, “before your dad really does kill your future husband.”

“He’s not my—” I started, only to cut myself off and lift a hand. “Okay, here’s what happened. I crawled into the wrong tent, and by the time I realized JB was in there, I might’ve already removed some clothing, and I was so embarrassed and in a rush to leave, I might’ve accidentally left my underwear behind. That’s all.”

A moment of silence followed my explanation, before Luke huffed out a disappointed breath. “Well, that was boring. I’m going back to bed.” And he turned around, stalking off into the night.

My dad however didn’t seem bored in the least. He moved to me, squinting his eyes as he took in my face. Then he said, “Bullshit. You’re lying.”

“What?” I cried in outrage. “No, I’m not. I really did crawl into the wrong tent, and I really did leave my undies behind.”

He shook his head slowly. “That’s not the part you’re lying about.”

“Then what the hell do you think I’m lying about?” I demanded, scowling.

“I’m not sure yet,” he murmured, scratching his chin thoughtfully. “But there was definitely a lie somewhere in there.”

“Dammit,” I admitted, stamping my feet. “How do you always know that?”

“Oh, please,” JB reported dryly from the tree. “You give yourself away every time you lie because you have the most obvious tell on the planet. You always—”

“Don’t you dare tell her what she does to give herself away, you little fucker,” my dad warned, pointing threateningly. “How do you know what her tell is, anyway? You’re not supposed to know anything intimate about my daughter at all.”

He stormed to the tree and started to shake the trunk forcefully. “Now get your ass down here so I can kick the fuck out of it already.”

“Shit,” JB muttered as he lost his grip on the branches and was literally shaken from them. As he went tumbling out, spiraling toward the earth, I gasped and raced forward, right along with about a dozen other people.

It was Dad who actually caught him. Not intentionally, of course. He’d still been shaking the trunk when JB landed on him, and they both crumbled to the ground in a heap.

“Oh my God!” I cried. “Are you okay?”

“No.” I’d been asking JB, but it was my dad who answered on a pathetic groan. “I think he took out my fucking eye with his goddam elbow. Jesus!”

“Let me see,” Quinn instructed, pulling his son off my dad and then tugging Dad to his feet.

“God...damn, that hurt,” Dad whined, clutching his eye.

I moved to JB just as his mom reached him and started to look him over. “I’m fine,” he insisted, lifting his hands to ward us off, only to reveal bloody scratches marring his arms and torso.

“I think your eye will be okay,” Quinn announced, patting Dad on the side of the arm companionably as if my father hadn’t just been trying to murder his son. “You’ll probably end up with a bruise though.”

“Are you fucking serious?” Dad cried. “Unbelievable. I haven’t had a black eye in nearly twenty years.”

Uncle Noel chuckled. “Must mean JB really is your future son-in-law then if he’s the one who was able to give you a shiner.”

“Shut your fucking mouth,” Dad warned, glaring at my uncle before he transferred his scowl to JB. “I don’t care if he is my favorite non-nephew. This is just too…”

“What’s the main concern here?” Felicity’s husband, Knox, asked. “Even if they had done something together tonight, JB’s a good kid. And Teagan’s an adult now; she not going to become a nun, either. Wouldn’t you rather be secure in the fact she’s with someone you know and trust? One of us. Or would you rather she end up with some asshole stranger? You didn’t see me flying off the handle when my daughter ended up with Noel’s weird kid, now did you?”

“Dad,” Bentley scolded from her tent. “Beau is not weird.”

“Knox has a point,” my mom told Dad, hooking her arm through his and kissing his cheek. “If you turn into an ass about this, you’re going to act just like Noel did when you and I started dating.”

“You mean, when you ran off with my best friend and married him behind my back?” Uncle Noel asked his sister.

Dad scowled at Uncle Noel before turning to his wife and whining, “But she’s my baby girl.”

“And I’m not actually dating JB,” I put in. “Plus, we did not hook up…at all.”

When I glanced JB’s way to make sure I hadn’t given off any tells with that statement, he winced and shook his head.

Shit. Just what the hell did I do when I lied?

“Oh, Jesus,” Dad moaned, clutching his head and turning in a circle as if disoriented. “They really did do something in that tent. With all of us sleeping around them mere feet away, too. I think I’m going to be sick. What if she’s pregnant? I’m too young to be a grandpa.”

“Hey,” Uncle Noel muttered in insult. “There’s nothing wrong with becoming a grandparent at our age. Knox and I are about to be grandparents.”

“Oh, shit.” Dad turned to Mom in a panic. “I don’t look as old as those two geezers, do I?”

“But we didn’t—” JB started innocently, only for Quinn to shake his head and silently warn him to shut up.

“Maybe we should all just calm down and discuss this rationally,” Aunt Aspen suggested evenly.

“I mean, sure,” Mom agreed, nodding brightly. “I’m totally open to compromise and having a fall wedding.”

“Oh my God,” I moaned, closing my eyes and pressing my palm to my forehead, worried someone was going to plunk me into a white dress and shove me down an aisle before the night was over.

“Why don’t you two kids just sit tight?” Uncle Noel motioned toward a tree stump we’d used as a chair all evening as if he expected us to wait there like good, obedient little children until they decided our fate for us. “We adults will get this all sorted out in no time.”

“Get what sorted out?” I asked.

“You do realize we’re no longer kids, right?” JB asked, even as he dutifully moved toward the tree stump and plopped down, sitting with a petulant slouch.

“And if there’s anything to be sorted, we should be involved in the decision, anyway,” I added, folding my arms over my chest and refusing to budge. “Since it’s about us.”

Uncle Noel sent me a scowl, only to point at his son. “Beau, keep an eye on them until we get back.”

“What? I don’t want to play babysitter,” Beau said. “I’m crawling back into the warmth of my sleeping bag with Bentley. Who’s pregnant. With my baby. She needs me with her.” And his head disappeared into his tent.

“I’ll watch them,” Luke announced, eagerly popping forward and lifting his hand to volunteer.

JB glanced up in surprise. “I thought you’d gone back to bed.”

Luke shrugged, grinning jovially. “Sounded like things were getting exciting again.”

With a disgruntled huff, JB went back to resting his elbows on his knees while the beams from the adults’ flashlights bobbed away through the trees as they went off to sort things out.

I rolled my eyes with no idea what they possibly had to discuss away from us.

As they left, everyone else wandered off to bed as well, until only me, Luke, and JB remained in the clearing.

Great, this was going to be so uncomfortably awkward; I was stuck alone with the guy I’d nearly made out with and the guy I thought I was making out with.

4

Teagan

“So…” Luke said conversationally, setting his lantern on the picnic table before hopping up next to it and parking his ass. “What exactly did you two do in my tent tonight? You know, I don’t call it the love shack for nothing. I mean, did you see those stains on the ceiling? Impressive, right?”

“Eww,” I said as JB snarled at him with a deadly glower and muttered, “It’s none of your fucking business what we did.”

Luke’s eyebrows popped up, and his mouth formed an O before he turned my way, silently asking me what that was about.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, refusing to get into it, then I glanced away guiltily. But my gaze ended up settling on JB, and God, he looked good stewing there in nothing but boxer shorts, his shoulders still as gorgeous as ever, even as sunburned and bowed in as they were while he huddled into himself trying to keep warm. Even his freaking bare feet were pretty as he curled his toes under them, something he often did when he was distressed.

Wow, why had I never realized how much the toe-curling thing charmed me before?

“Well, something happened,” Luke decided, smirking knowingly as he glanced between us. “Because T is definitely not wearing a bra either.”

As I gasped and crossed my arms back over my breasts where the cool night was making me nip like crazy, JB rose to his feet, snarling threateningly at his brother. “Stop staring at her chest.”

This time, my mouth dropped open right along with Luke’s, because JB hadn’t sounded merely moody there; he sounded like an overprotective, jealous boyfriend.

Oh Lord. What the hell was happening here?

Luke pulled back and lifted his hands, conceding his defeat. “Sure,” he replied before wincing at me, and not in an apologetic way, like, “sorry for looking at your tits,” but in a commiserating, “you see what a dick he’s being too, right?” kind of way.

I ignored him and hugged myself, burrowing deeper into my shirt. When I glanced toward JB, I noticed he was striking a similar pose, rubbing his hands up and down the sides of his arms as he sat back down on the tree stump. Poor thing, he didn’t even have a shirt to contain any of his body heat.

“Hey,” I called to Luke, gaining his attention. When he lifted his gaze, I tipped my head toward his brother. “Go get him a shirt, or blanket, or something, will you?”

JB glanced at me, his surprise evident.

Luke snorted. “I’m supposed to be your warden, not your damn errand boy.”

Fed up with this entire night, I picked up a nearby rock I saw sitting on the ground. It was more like a pebble, actually, so I knew it wouldn’t do any real damage when I chucked it at Luke as hard as I could. And besides, he easily batted it away as he cried his outrage over such abuse.

“Lucian Michael,” I growled through clenched teeth. “I said go get him something warm. He’s fucking cold.” For some reason, it didn’t seem to matter or even phase me that Luke was just as shirtless as JB was.

“I’m fine,” JB cut in quietly.

Ignoring him, I sent Luke my crazy-eyed glare, my eyes threatening all sorts of bodily harm if he didn’t comply.

“Okay, okay,” he muttered, hopping off the picnic table. “Jesus. I’ll be right back.” Then he pointed at his brother and snickered. “Try to keep it in your pants while I’m gone, bro, or Ten will kill me for leaving you two alone.” Then he wandered off, laughing over his own lame joke.

Glad I finally had a moment alone with JB, I glanced his way, but he was studiously attempting to ignore me. So I went over and sat next to him on the tree stump, trying to force his attention.

Why I wanted to force it, I have no idea. But after what had just happened between us in that tent, I needed him to look at me. I needed to know...fuck, I needed to know what this meant between us now.

He glanced at me, scowling. But as soon as his gaze met mine, air hissed from between his teeth, and his eyes filled with something hot and seeking, something I felt deep in my womb. It was more intense than sex—or at least any sex I’d ever had—and a shudder of attraction consumed me. Oh, God, what did this mean?

“We should probably clean those scratches,” I said quietly.

JB glanced away. “I’m fine.”

Wow, was the guy stuck on repeat? All his self-denial made me want to pick and dig at him until he had to say something other than I’m fine.

But then, I was also kind of afraid to listen to him go off and tell me how he really felt if I did break him open enough to get him to reveal his true thoughts. I’m not so certain I could handle hearing him admit he was still heartbroken over and longing for Sonya. I’d felt all weird and unexplainably lonely since those two had gotten engaged. Then things had felt even weirder inside me when their engagement had dissolved. I wasn’t sure what that meant either.

So I settled for rolling my eyes and muttering, “Clearly, you’re not. But whatever.”

He said nothing. So I said nothing.

I scooted closer, trying to soak up any stray body heat he might be dispelling. Plus, I just liked being close to him. JB had always made me feel…safe. He’d forever been the one I’d run to when I was distressed. He just knew how to help me look at my problems so they didn’t seem so insurmountable. And for some reason, something inside me was beginning to feel big and complicated, and so naturally, I shifted closer until my thigh was pressed right up against his.

He glanced at me sharply but didn’t pull away, so I took that as a good enough sign.

“You know,” I started. “If you’re pissed at me, you can just say so.”

“I’m pissed at you,” he said, and it was obvious he meant it.

“What?” I cried, gaping at him. “Why? What did I do wrong?”

He sent me an incredulous glance. “Are you kidding me right now? Your dad tried to kill me a few minutes ago because of what you did.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, whatever. He ended up getting more hurt than you did.”

He sniffed and glanced away, only to spin back and scowl. “Are you ever going to tell me what experiment you were conducting since it ended up with your dad shaking me out of a fucking tree?”

I opened my mouth, but no words came. JB watched me so closely my cheeks began to burn, because my idea that had felt like a damn good one when I’d crawled into that tent suddenly seemed really stupid.

Out of nowhere, one half of a sleeping bag dropped onto my shoulders, the other half draping over JB’s. Not expecting it, I yelped and looked up to find Luke there, scowling at us.

“There,” he said. “I did my duty. Now I’m going to bed.”

“Hey,” I muttered, suddenly afraid to be left alone with JB, because he’d probably make me confess some really embarrassing shit. “What about guarding us, and defending my honor, and all that?”

Luke merely waved over his shoulder. “I did my duty,” he repeated. “And you guys are being boring again, so… I’m out. Take his virginity if you want, T. It’s fine by me. Maybe it’ll even pull that stick out of his ass.”

Once he was gone, JB mumbled, “I do not have a stick stuck up my ass.” Glancing at me, worry lined his gaze even as he asked, “Am I seriously that uptight?”

I cracked a grin. “Really? That was the part you took umbrage at? You don’t care that he just called you a virgin?”

JB shrugged. “Maybe I am a virgin.” Then his lips twitched with amusement.

I snorted. “You’re such a dork.” I began to pull my half of the sleeping bag off me so he could have it all, but he wrapped a hand around my upper leg, stopping me dead in my tracks when his warm fingers brushed over the inside of my thigh.

“You’re cold too,” he said quietly.

My breath caught in my chest, but I tried not to let that show. Nodding, I snuggled back into his warmth, shifting even closer to him as I did so. We sat flush against each other, hip to hip. And he never moved his hand off my leg, the impression of his fingers beginning to burn into my flesh with a pleasant heat as his thumb started to move in slow, intoxicating circles.

“You didn’t go off to find Luke after leaving my tent,” he announced as if just then realizing that.

“No,” I said, before sniffing. “After messing up so badly with you, I wasn’t about to try that again.”

“And what were you trying?” He seemed to genuinely want to know what I’d been attempting that I sighed because I knew I needed to tell him.

“Please… Just don’t laugh when I tell you, okay?”

“Tell me what? That you have a thing for Luke?”

“No.” I shook my head, frowning over the very idea. “It’s actually not that at all.”

“So… You don’t have a thing for Luke, and that’s why you crawled on top of him naked—or on top of who you thought was him. Damn, T. You know that makes no sense at all, right?”

“I know, just… Give me a moment to try to explain this, will you?”

“Okay.” When he nodded and actually stayed quiet, waiting for me to talk, I sighed.

“Lately, I’ve been having really bad experiences with dating.”

Instantly alert, he asked, “Bad, how?”

“I mean…” Rolling my hand, I said, “Not like any of them have hit me or anything like that, but they’ve just been so… Every single one of them has been an inconsiderate asshole, and there seems to be this level of misunderstanding or…I don’t know. It’s always like me and the guy I’m with are from two different universes.”

“Like men are from Mars, and women are from Venus?”

Because I knew he was mocking me, I sent him a dry scowl. “It’s like none of them have the same morals, and values, and ideas I do. Our family group is so close and tight-knit, I swear I’ve grown up in this bubble, and everyone outside it are Martians to me. And it’s finally starting to bother me. It’s like I just expect them to be like…like you guys, or think like you guys, or react like I’m used to someone in our family circle reacting. None of them measure up. And when they don’t, it’s almost disappointing. Then, when Beau and Bentley got together last year, they just seemed to mesh so well.”

“Because they fell in love,” JB answered.

“I know, but then you and Sonya broke up, and it felt like it was because she wasn’t one of us. She just didn’t belong in our group.”

“It was because she cheated on me.”

“Yes, I know. But it got me to thinking… What if I tried for something like what Beau and Bentley have? Something with someone familiar, someone from our group? And if maybe I just, you know, forced it along a little, something with that person might hopefully bloom into...more.”

“So, you picked…Luke?”

“I don’t know. Yeah. I guess.” I shrugged, growing even more embarrassed. “I mean, sure. He seemed like the most logical choice to test first, to see if it would feel like kissing my brother or if…if we could actually create chemistry or something together.”

“So, he’s the one in our group you’re the most attracted to?”

“No…” I said slowly, furrowing my brow over that suggestion. Did I find Luke more attractive than, say, JB? I glanced at JB, and my body thrummed with desire.

Nope. No, I didn’t. Not at all.

But then something in JB’s expression had me studying him until I realized…holy shit. He was hurt.

He was hurt I’d chosen Luke and not him.

But why would JB care who I’d chosen, unless…wait. No. JB couldn’t like me.

Could he?

Oh, wow. My mind spun with such a notion as I covered his hand on my leg with my own fingers and squeezed in apology. “It wasn’t because I preferred him over you, or…or anyone else, or because I even like him better. I don’t. Not at all. He’s just the closest to me in age and… Well, you know, our personalities are somewhat similar. We’re not as serious and intense as…as you are.”

“You meaning as boring and responsible as I am,” JB said bitterly.

“Hey, responsibility is a good thing,” I argued, frowning over how little he seemed to think of his own qualities.

He snorted. “Then why did Sonya lash that very word at me when she left me, like it was awful, right along with telling me I was a robot with no passion?”

“She said what?” I growled. “God, what a bitch. Of course she spewed something she thought would hurt you. You’d just caught her cheating. Caught people always try to turn it around and pin you with something wrong so they don’t look so bad. But she has no clue. She doesn’t know you at all if she said you lack passion. Clearly, she was never around you whenever a season finale for The Walking Dead aired.”

JB sent me an unimpressed glance. I cracked a grin and bumped my shoulder into his, still trying to lighten the mood. Then I sighed, falling serious again. “I’m telling you, she wasn’t one of us. That was her real problem. And if that was really why she left you, then it was her loss—Hey! Wait a second.” Shaking my head as something occurred to me, I frowned at him. “Backup a tick. I just realized you said she dumped you.”

He sighed and glanced up at the sky miserably. “Yeah, pretty pathetic, huh?”

“But she’s the one who cheated,” I said, not getting it.

“I know. And stupid, idiot me, I forgave her for it. I was willing to give her a second chance, except that didn’t work for her. She thought I should’ve been more upset and held a grudge longer or something before I took her back. She said my lack of outrage showed that I just didn’t love her enough because I didn’t seem to care who she slept with.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I exploded. “That’s why she dumped you? What a crazy whack job.”

He shrugged and glanced down at where my hand was covering his. I squeezed his fingers. He squeezed back, lacing his through mine. A heavy ache filled my chest.

Frowning at the misery in his expression, I bumped my shoulder into his again. “Hey, you didn’t actually…I mean, you didn’t take her words to heart, did you?”

Glancing up, he smiled sadly. “She did have a point. Besides, it’s kind of hard not to believe someone you were planning to marry when they tell you you have no soul.”

“Yes it is,” I growled, “because she obviously has no brain. You are an amazing man, JB Hamilton. And you should believe me more than her, because I’ve known you longer. She’s the one who lost out when she walked away.”

“This coming from the girl who wanted my brother. Not me.”

“JB,” I said softly, squeezing his fingers when he tried to pull his hand away. “Don’t do that. Please. I didn’t even know you were interested.”

“I wasn’t.” Cracking off a bitter laugh, he tipped his head back to consider the stars above us. “Shit, I’m not. I don’t think.” Then he shook his head as if he were confused. “That’s the crazy part. I never thought of you that way before tonight. I mean, I always thought you were gorgeous. But—”

“You did?” I bit my lip, strangely pleased.

He frowned at me. “But I always thought of you as family. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. It’s familiar and comfortable, and I just naturally assumed it’d feel like I was kissing my sister if we ever…you know.” He waved a hand. Then he sniffed bitterly and shook his head. “Guess I learned how wrong I was about that tonight, because I don’t think I’ll ever look at you in a brotherly way again.”

“That’s why I wanted to try my experiment,” I said softly. “I wanted to actually know what it’d be like, not just assume.”

“But you wanted to know what Luke would be like,” he muttered, pulling away to fist his hand and press it against his forehead. “I felt like such a fool when I tumbled right into your experiment and got turned on, only to realize you’d been seducing him all along, not me.”

“JB,” I rasped, aching inside as I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him hard and wanting to apologize but suspecting he wouldn’t appreciate that. “I only chose Luke because he seemed…easy. There’s nothing easy about you. You’re so intense, and complicated, and…and…”

“Boring?” he guessed with a moody sniff. “Responsible? Always striving to do the right thing?”

“Intimidating,” I growled, starting to grow pissed off with all the negativity he kept heaping on himself. Because nothing about Jameson Blakeland Hamilton was negative. The man was fucking perfect, which was, yes, intimidating.

But his eyebrows crinkled with utter confusion. “Intimidating?” he repeated incredulously, obviously not seeing himself that way.

“Fuck, yes, intimidating,” I insisted, nodding vigorously. “There is so much about you that just…overwhelms me. You’re way too smart, way too gorgeous, way too…too good. You are my rock. I could trust you with any secret I ever had, rely on you to help me through any problem. And I know without a doubt you would fucking die for me if it came to that. There is absolutely nothing you’re bad at. And it’s… It’s frankly intimidating as hell. I’m such a mess. I lose my temper too easily and make stupid, impulsive decisions. I could never in a million years keep up with someone as steady, and dependable, and amazing as you. So yes, sue me. I went for Luke instead.”

His mouth fell open as he gaped at me. “T,” he said softly, his fingers covering mine again. “But I’m not—dammit, you know I’m not perfect. God, you probably know my flaws better than anyone else.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, you mean those interesting little quirks about you that drive me crazy? Yeah, those are my favorite parts, actually; they’re what make you you.”

“Fucking hell, Teagan,” he whispered, looking dazed. “What’re you saying here?”

I tried to pull my hand away, except he wouldn’t let me go. Gulping down my emotions, I frowned at him and admitted, “I’ve always been in awe of you. In my eyes, you are so far above everyone I’ve ever known.” Huffing out a self-deprecating laugh when tears filled my eyes, I shook my head. “Why do you think I’ve always been so quick to argue with you and call you a dumbass?”

He shook his head slowly, his eyes wide with shock. “I just realized I have no clue,” he admitted.

“Well, it’s because I at least try to make myself feel as if we’re on some kind of even playing field, even though I know that’s not possible. You’re way up in status awesome, and I’m down in—”

Sliding his hand into my hair, he cupped the back of my head and angled my face up to meet his mouth when he swooped in for a kiss. Our lips crashed into each other, and heat ignited inside me.

I opened for him, needing more, and his tongue slid against mine, strongly enough that I swore I could feel him licking between my legs.

It was so wonderful, in fact, that it scared the shit out of me. It just figured he’d excel at kissing, too, just like he did everything else.

I pushed him back. He let me go without resistance, his gaze hooded with desire and his dark hair mussed sexily. Damn, he was beautiful.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, trying to blink the lust from his eyes so he could examine me with concern.

I shook my head, my body going into distress because this felt big and way more overwhelming than I could handle. “You… But you’re still in love with Sonya,” I blurted, since it was the first thing to come to my mind.

He snorted. “The fuck if I am. She was right when she said I didn’t love her enough in the first place. Because I didn’t fly off the handle when she cheated on me. Why didn’t I do that? Any guy who really loved his woman should’ve been more enraged than I was. Hell, I got more upset tonight when I thought you wanted Luke. I wanted to hurt him; I wanted to really fucking hurt my own brother. Which means…” His eyes softened as they looked into mine. Then he lifted his hand to trace his fingers over my face. “It’s you,” he murmured as if in awe. “It’s always been you. Why did I never see that before?”

My mouth fell open. I had no idea what to say in response, wasn’t even sure I knew what was happening here. The night had taken a turn I’d never expected, but…but it was a turn I liked.

“JB?” I whispered in uncertainty.

With a tender smile, he pressed his forward to mine. “You are on my level, Teagan Marie. And I’m going to prove it to you.”

He kissed me again, his lips claiming and showing me what we already had together. Groaning, I crawled up into his lap and he wrapped the sleeping bag more firmly around us until we were cocooned inside it.

“So, just to make sure…” He broke away long enough to ask, his voice rasping against my skin as he ran his nose up my throat. “You’re not still planning on experimenting like this with Luke, right?”

I punched him lightly in the shoulder blade. “Don’t be a dumbass.”

“Damn.” His lips twitched up into a grin. “Why does it suddenly sound incredibly hot when you call me that?”

I smiled and skimmed my fingers up his bare chest. “Because you know it means you’re going to have your hands full with me.”

“Am I?” Physically cupping my hips in his hands, he positioned me until I was straddling his erection. We both sighed in unison, and I began to ride him through our clothes, undulating my hips into a sweet, seductive rhythm. Then, he groaned and added, “Good. I don’t think I’d like them full with anyone else.”

My head fell back, my hair spilling down my spine when he slid both his hands under my shirt and up until he was cupping my braless breasts.

“Oh, God, I want to feel you inside me,” I rasped.

“Teagan,” he groaned, pressing his forehead to mine. “What the hell is happening here?” Unceasing as he massaged my breasts and skimmed his mouth down my cheek, he shifted up his hips to grind against my core harder. Then he looked into my eyes. “What does this mean?”

I could only grin. “I think it means our moms are going to keep debating about a fall or Christmas wedding for quite a while to come.”

He chuckled. “What the fuck do they have against spring weddings?”

“I do like the flowers in spring,” I admitted.

He smiled at me before capturing my mouth once again in a kiss I felt all the way to my toes.

God, I loved his mouth. I wrapped my legs around his waist and buried my fingers in his hair, giving him everything I had. With a growl, he accepted it, giving back just as heartily as he took.

“Okay, we’ve come to a decision,” my dad announced, striding back into the clearing. “You two can date as long as you—what the fuck?!”

He jerked to a halt when JB and I didn’t immediately leap apart, only stopped kissing to glance his way. All bundled into the sleeping bag as we were, he could basically only see our heads, but it was pretty obviously we were wrapped up in each other’s arms and I was on JB’s lap facing him.

When the other parents appeared behind Dad, falling to their own surprised halts, JB merely tugged me closer. So I set my cheek on his shoulder and grinned ruefully at everyone else.

“As long as you guys can accept the fact that we’re going to start dating no matter what,” JB announced. “Then you all can come to any conclusion you like.”

And with that, he kissed me some more.

The End

Part Four

Playing to Win

For Everly Lucas

I love your words.

Every single one of them.

Please don’t ever stop with the words.

One

Rory

About fifty different strains of music floated into the hallway behind the stage of the Albright Auditorium. Some tunes were pretty decent. Some downright sucked. Only a few actually kicked ass.

All the seats out in the performance hall were filled, and the emcee for the night was cracking corny jokes, trying to keep the crowd entertained before the talent show contest began. In my changing room, I stroked my fingers over the cords of my guitar, warming up.

Tonight was a big night for me, and not because the venue was huge, because it really wasn’t. No VIP I needed to impress was out there watching, either. But I wanted to win this competition anyway. So bad.

Because no one here knew who I really was.

I wasn’t going to just be Aurora Hart, daughter to Asher and Remy Hart from the world-famous band Non-Castrato. I finally had a chance to make my own name and see if I had what it took to go anywhere without their influence.

After being bullied at my old high school because my parents were rock stars—even though they’d actually moved on to producing music these days instead of singing, and their band hadn’t played together in almost ten years—I’d moved in with my aunt and uncle for a semester to finish high school in their neighborhood, under the name Rory Hartley.

Here, I could be anonymous and start over fresh, become anything I wanted to. But at the end of the day, I’d still just wanted to be me. I loved music, and I loved creating it, just like my parents did. Running through the strains of Heart’s “Barracuda,” I closed my eyes and began to murmur the lyrics just as a knock came at my door.

“Hey,” my cousin Trick greeted as he popped inside. “I just wanted to wish you good luck and see if you needed anything.”

At twenty, he was the only child of Aunt Eva’s and Uncle Pick’s still living at home. It had been strange to go from living with two younger sisters in thirteen-year-old Riley and eleven-year-old Ayden to having only an older brother-type figure to fight with for bathroom time. But no matter how much I’d wanted to strangle him for forgetting to put the toilet seat down, Trick and I had actually grown pretty close these last few months, even if I suspected it only stemmed from sympathy on his part because some evil mean girls had pinned me down in the bathroom of my last school and whacked all my hair off when I’d confronted them for posting signs of me all over the school, calling me a bitch and whore and all sorts of other lovely, untrue names.

The whole thing had left me traumatized, so that must be why he’d been taking it easy on me.

“Hey,” I greeted right back, setting my guitar aside so I could give him a big hug. “Thanks for stopping by, and nope, I think I’m good. Just waiting for my turn to play. Have they started yet?”

“Nah.” He waved a hand. “The lame host is still cracking unbelievably bad dad jokes.” He shuddered. “I had to get out of there for a minute, especially when my parents started laughing.”

I rolled my eyes. “I wish he’d hurry up. I’m ready to get this show on the road.”

“I don’t know why you’re acting so nervous,” he said, walking around my room to investigate, though there wasn’t much to snoop through, just a folding table, a couple chairs, a mirror, some inspirational posters on the wall, and a complimentary bottle of water. “You’ve got this contest in the bag.” Picking up the water, he twisted it open and took a swig.

I made a face, even though I hoped he was right. “You don’t know that for sure.”

He sent me a look, eyebrows lifted and expression dry. “Yeah…I do. You’ve been playing since you were, what, four? Or maybe I should say, you’ve been playing well since you were four. The only thing to concern yourself with right now is what you’re going to do with all that prize money?” He wiggled his eyebrows. “Twenty-five hundred would make a sweet shopping spree.”

I shrugged dismissively and picked my guitar back up. “I’d probably just put it away in savings.”

Chuckling, Trick shook his head. “Wow, you are such a spoiled little rich girl. Here’s over two grand, and you’re just like…meh. Whatever. God, I wish I could be so blasé.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, because you’re so destitute yourself, boy-whose-parents-own-the-most-famous-nightclub-in-the-state.”

“First world problems, kid. First world problems.” Grinning, he ruffled my hair and started to reverse from the room. “Hey, I’m going to head back out to Mom and Dad. See you after, okay?”

“Wait!” My suspicions rose. When he paused, lifting his eyebrows questionably, I hesitantly asked, “Who else showed up?”

Because if either of my parents or sisters were here, I was probably already made. Mass hysteria would ensue. Oh my God, it’s those singers from that one band; let’s everyone scream and rush them and ask for their autographs like hysterical idiots.

Trick winked at me. “That’s it. Sorry, your fan club’s small tonight.”

My shoulders relaxed, glad no one else had come. “No, that’s fine,” I assured him. It was exactly what I wanted. This was like my first test. Could I do this on my own? Could I control a crowd? Rile them? Excite them? Transfix them? Before, I’d only been able to gain cheers because they’d known who my parents were. But tonight…tonight was my time.

“Knock ’em dead,” Trick called, already in the hall with the door shutting behind him.

“Thanks,” I answered, turning to examine myself in the mirror, making sure I looked okay.

My hair was still shorter than I’d ever worn it in my life. A moment of mourning passed, missing all the silken dark locks I’d inherited from my mom. But it’d grown out enough that I’d been able to spike it up and out, dying strands here and there with different colors. My cropped black leather jacket, the leather strip with silver spikes wrapped around my throat, and tall black platform boots over fishnet pantyhose completed the look. The only thing I was wearing that wasn’t black or silver was my hair, the hot pink tank top I had on under the jacket with a unicorn outlined in glitter on my chest, and the pink and silver glitter eyeshadow I wore. Even the bangle bracelets piled up both my arms were black.

I was tickled with how well I’d captured the eighties punk rocker look I’d been going for. I was so ready to shake this joint up. I spun, feeling the excitement spike through my system, until—ouch! Oh crap. I moved past the edge of the folding table too close, where a plastic piece of the lining had worn away and peeled off, making it poke out from the corner like a sharp, plastic dagger. It sliced into my upper thigh, hurting like a bitch and making an instant run in my hose.

“Dammit. Shit.” My perfect look was ruined.

Immediately thinking of damage control, I hurried to the door and yanked it open, hoping to catch Trick, so he could find his mom and see if she had some clear nail polish on her to paint over the area and stop the run from growing bigger. Aunt Eva was the super girly type and always carried the most surprisingly unusual things in her huge name-brand purse. It was possible she had a quick fix for me.

“Hey, Trick!” I called, rushing from the room, and turning to see if I could spot him in the hall. But I must’ve hurried out right in front of someone.

Because whoever it was bumped into me from behind.

“Oh, God. I’m sorry,” I gushed, whirling around to apologize.

“It’s fine,” a familiar voice with a familiar twang answered on a familiar husky laugh. “Are you okay?”

I faced him at the same moment he finally looked up. He’d been busy adjusting the strap of his guitar he had hanging off his back before finally checking on me.

Figured, I almost snorted. Check over his own things before making sure the girl he’d just plowed over was all right.

“Oh,” he added, his amazing grin dying flat before his blue eyes narrowed with disdain. “It’s you.”

Two

Rory

If I could be described as the stereotypical rocker chick, then Tucker Holt was all things country, from the cowboy boots, hat, Wrangler jeans, big belt buckle and the plaid shirt with pearl snap buttons. Even his freaking name went with the whole Nashville theme. Together, we were like George Strait meets Gene Simmons in Kiss gear.

We shared a class in school, and the first day I’d transferred there, the teacher had assigned us to pair up on a project together.

Tucker had been so sweet, and welcoming, and cute. Oh my God, the boy had it in spades in the looks department. Mischievous twinkle in his blue eyes, dimple in his cheeks, impressive height, dreamy wide shoulders, lean narrow hips, and his butt…wow. Even I couldn’t knock the jeans he wore because they hugged his ass to perfection.

Chemistry had sparked between us at first sight. And I had flirted, big-time. My hair had been nearly buzzed off at that point and I still had a few bruises and scratches on my face from fighting off the girls who’d shaved me, but he’d looked at me as if I were pretty. It was the perfect welcome to a new place. We’d had fun working on the project together too, even though it was a boring history lesson, mostly looking up dates and places. He’d cracked jokes and made it exciting and unusual.

At the end of class, we stayed together, gathering our things at the same pace and walking into the hallway side by side as he asked get-to-know-you questions and followed me to my locker, so I could gather my things for my next class.

But as soon as I’d worked open the combination on my locker and swung open the door, he’d clutched his heart and winced as he took in the picture I had pasted on the inside of the door.

“No,” he’d groaned, angling his torso away from it in mock horror. “Say it ain’t so. You like Non-Castrato?”

Okay, so I know…I’d come here under a fake name so no one would know I was the product of two members from the Non-Castrato band, because I’d been hoping to avoid unwelcome negative attention from fellow classmates. My parents had gone through a lot to protect my identity. They’d offered private schools, personal tutors, all sorts of shit to keep me safe. But I thrived on people and crowds, and I’d wanted to finish my senior year in a public school. So they’d reluctantly agreed to let me move off and live with my dad’s brother, so I could attend Albright High until graduation, which would only last a few months.

All that should mean I probably shouldn’t have posted a huge sticker in my locker, blasting my allegiance to my parents’ band, if I’d wanted to stay anonymous and disconnected from them. But I loved their music, and come on… They were my parents. I had to show my support in some way. I mean, I didn’t even have their faces in the picture, just the group’s main logo.

And Tucker had gaped at it in horror as if it were the most offensive thing he’d ever seen.

I had paused and blinked at him in stunned shock. No one had ever bashed my parents’ band to my face like that before. I mean, they’d bashed me for being related to them but never them for just being them. I’d always been super proud of Mom and Dad for their talents, a fact that had probably come across as bragging every time I’d been excited to share their newest accomplishments, like making it into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, which had led to snooty, jealous bitches bullying me in an attempt to knock some of that happy pride from my system.

“You don’t like Non-Castrato?” I’d asked Tucker, sure I’d misunderstood him, because how could anyone not like them? Even if someone didn’t prefer most of their songs, their music was so diverse, people usually liked something they created.

But Tucker had shaken his head insistently, still wincing at the logo in my locker. “Hell, no. I’m pure country, through and through. Luke Bryan, Kenny Chesney, Florida Georgia Line, Jason Aldean. Now those are my people.”

I had continued to stare at him as if he’d lost his mind. I had nothing against any of the artists he named, but my true love was that hard rock beat, loud drums, fast tempo, screaming your emotions in angst and righteousness. I bled rock and roll.

And besides, no one knocked my family. Ever.

“Then I guess we’re done here,” I had announced before slapping my locker closed and turning my back to him. “Later, Nashville.”

“Wait!” He’d hurried after me, laughing as if it were all a joke to him. “That’s it. Just because we like different music?”

“That’s it,” I returned, waving over my shoulder at him and striding away.

To this day, I pretty much still regretted doing that to him. But I was full of all that stupid pride stuff, and I couldn’t back down to take it back.

So, sadly, we’d become mortal enemies instead of, you know, what I’d hoped we might become.

And I’d never connected with anyone else at Albright the way I’d connected with Tucker that first day.

Narrowing my eyes at him, I sniffed. “Of course. I should’ve guessed you’d be slinking outside my door, trying to get a jump on the competition.”

One thing I’d come to learn since meeting Tucker: he was as passionate about music as I was…just a completely different genre of it.

He sang at school assemblies, played for people at lunch, wooed girls with his songs. And he wasn’t half bad. If I wanted to be perfectly honest, all egos aside, I was probably better. But I’d grown up in the business around professionals, taught techniques by some of the best trainers there were. Music was the only thing I knew. From what I’d discerned about Tucker, he was basically self-taught. So his raw talent was pretty damn impressive.

But that didn’t mean I was happy about seeing him here. He was the only person who might give me any kind of competition tonight.

“You wish, sweetheart,” he smarted back as his gaze slid over my outfit where he paused at my knee and sniffed derisively. “Nice hole in the pantyhose, though. Going for the hobo look?”

Embarrassed heat stained my cheeks, but I’d die before I let him see my mortification. Slapping my hands to my waist, I scowled back. “Nope. I was trying to match the gaping hole in your brain.”

“Ah, baby,” he murmured, snickering. “If you keep thinking about me so much and trying to match me, people are going to assume you’re obsessed and secretly in love with me.”

“As if.” I rolled my eyes and cocked my hip as I crossed my arms over my chest. “Your delusions are frankly concerning, Holt.”

He shrugged and stepped past me. “Keep living in denial if you like. It’s no skin off my nose.” And he started down the hall away from me, calling, “Hey, but good luck tonight.”

I made a face at his back, calling, “You too. You definitely need it.” Then my gaze dropped to check out his butt, because come on, even jerks could have really nice butts that needed to be ogled.

Except Tucker glanced back and caught me in the act. He said nothing, simply lifted an eyebrow as if to say, see what I mean; you can’t even take your eyes off me.

I huffed bitterly and spun in the opposite direction to…hell, I’d forgotten why I’d even come into the hall. I just wanted to storm away in anger, so that’s what I did, marching down the hall until I remembered…oh yeah. The run in my hose. Shoot.

Trick was long gone by this point. I glanced down at my fishnet to discover the hole had already grown so big there was no way to hide it now. I was going to have to take them off completely, or make more holes so it’d look like they were there on purpose.

Because I didn’t want to take the time to unlace my boots and shimmy them off, I went with option two, poking sporadic holes here and there until I was satisfied with how I looked.

Checking the hall, I tipped my head toward the stage, realizing the contest had started. Some girl was currently butchering the Alicia Keys song, “Fallin’.”

Hoping I had a minute to pop to the bathroom, I dashed down the hall away from my room and hurried to take care of my business. My name was halfway through the lineup on the roster tonight, so I was pretty sure I still had a while before it was my turn. But I hurried through the break anyway, smiling vaguely at a girl and her mom who were fussing over the sequins on her dance costume.

It made me wish my own mom were here, but then everything would’ve been different if she’d shown up or even known about my big night. Suddenly, I wouldn’t be me anymore; I’d be her daughter.

I knew she never meant for that to happen. She and Dad had always supported me and my sisters, making sure we had enough love and attention despite how busy they were with their careers. But that’s what came with fame. And tonight, I wanted to be selfish and earn my own spotlight under my own steam.

After finishing my business and washing my hands, I hurried back toward my room, only to spot a woman wandering around as if lost. When our gazes caught, she smiled and stepped forward. “Hey there, darling. Do you think you could help me? I’m looking for Tucker Holt’s room.”

As soon as she said his name, I noticed the resemblance. Same eyes, same color of light hair, same dimples. She had to be his mom.

I smiled at her, feeling an instant affection, even though that made no sense. Tucker and I were by no means friends. Meeting his mom should have no effect on me whatsoever. But I said, “Sure,” and changed my course completely to lead her in the direction of where I knew his changing room was supposed to be. “He’s this way.”

No idea why I’d committed his room assignment to memory; I certainly didn’t know where anyone else in the competition was waiting for their turn.

Tucker might’ve gotten a little too close to the truth when he’d accused me of being obsessed with him. But I’d never let him know that.

“I just wanted to tell him how proud I am of him,” his mom told me as she pulled a coin from her pocket and showed it off. “And maybe let him borrow my lucky penny.”

I smiled warmly. “Aww, that’s so sweet. But I doubt he’ll even need it. He’s really talented.”

She flashed me a grin that was pure Tucker. “He is, isn’t he? I don’t know where he got it; I can’t carry a tune to save my soul. But Tucker…” She shook her head, smiling tenderly, her eyes twinkling with love. “He’s loved to sing since he was just a little tot.”

I nodded and pointed at her. “You know, they say kids who are raised happy and secure enough to feel comfortable singing at a young age can attribute it back to awesome parenting.”

Actually, I had no idea who said that because I’d never really heard the sentiment before, but I thought it sounded good and would make her smile. Which it totally did.

Her dimples flashed as she cupped my face and murmured, “Well, aren’t you just the sweetest thing? Thank you, baby.”

Glowing a little under her praise, I nodded and motioned to the door I’d paused us in front of. “Here’s his room.”

Turning to blink at his name written on a sheet of paper that was taped to the door, she jumped before laughing at herself. “Oh! Wow. Thanks again, sweetheart.”

She turned back to me, studying my outfit before asking, “Are you singing tonight, too?”

Without speaking, I nodded.

She patted my arm. “Well, good luck to you. I’ll be looking forward to your performance.” Then she turned away and tapped on Tucker’s door, opening it when he called a greeting from inside.

I started to turn back for my own room, but his mom didn’t quite get the door shut behind her, leaving it cracked open.

It was totally wrong and intrusive, but I crept back to the crack and peeked in, unable to stop spying when I saw a portion of Tucker’s face when he spotted his mom. He lit up like a Christmas tree and opened his arms, calling her mama.

Oh, Lord. How could he make himself look even hotter by merely saying mama? It was no fair.

And so freaking adorable that my hormones melted into a puddle.

She hugged him and then pulled back to cradle his face in her hands just like she’d done to me moments ago.

“Yep,” she announced, looking him over. “You definitely look like a winner to me.”

He smiled big before his expression fell and sadness entered his gaze.

“I don’t know,” he said, pulling away from her to tug off his hat and run his hand through his pale hair. “There’s this girl. And she’s really good. I don’t think…” He sent his mom a rueful glance before admitting, “I don’t think I can beat her.”

My heart stalled in my chest as I wondered…was he talking about me?

It was one thing to have confidence in my own abilities and be satisfied enough with what I could do; but to hear Tucker praise me was a whole new sense of wonder. My skin buzzed with awareness, pleased more than I could admit that he recognized my talent.

“Pshaw,” his mom scolded softly. “What is this I’m hearing? You’re good enough for me, and that’s all that matters. I just love listening to you play and sing. Everyone else will too, whether you win or not.”

“I know,” he muttered moodily, turning away to pluck at a few stings on his guitar. “But…” His voice went low and muffled as he admitted, “We could really use that prize money.”

Three

Rory

My mouth fell open and I pressed my hand to my chest as Tucker’s mom did something freakily similar inside his waiting room.

Then she shook her head sadly and said, “Tucker Rawlings Holt, is that what this is about? The money?”

Cringing, he turned back to face her. “Even you have to admit it’d be useful. I saw the notices in the mail, Mama, I’m not stupid. Just how far behind are we on the bills?”

Refusing to answer, his mom shook her head and lifted a hand. “That is not your concern, baby. I will take care of any money issues in our house. You are not to worry yourself with—”

“Not my concern?” Tucker cut in incredulously. “How can you say that to me? Ever since Dad left, abandoning us, you’ve said it was just the two of us, you and me in this together against the rest of the world. That sounds a lot like it should be my concern.”

“Yes, but I meant it’d be just the two of us emotionally, not—”

“Well, now I have a chance to maybe help out financially, so I’m going to…if I can.”

“But you should use that money to save for college or—”

“I’m already planning on taking out student loans for college, Mama.” Grasping her shoulders, he smiled at her before pressing a kiss to her forehead. “But we need this money now, so I’m going to win it. For you.”

Tears filled her eyes as she shook her head and covered her mouth. “I don’t know what I did to ever deserve a boy as amazing as you, but God blessed me when he sent you to me. He sure did. Here, baby. I want you to take my lucky penny.”

As she held it out to him, I turned away and retreated to my own room, feeling… I’m not even sure what I felt. But it was strange and foreign and big. At least the sensation filled my chest as if it were something major.

I sat in the chair in my room numbly, saying nothing, doing nothing, just…thinking.

I had something to prove tonight. I wanted to show the world I could do this without the Asher and Remy Hart or Non-Castrato name. This was supposed to be my origin story, dammit. How dare Tucker Holt come along with a nobler, less selfish motive than mine?

Gah, he ruined everything.

When someone tapped on my door, letting me know I was up next, I grabbed my guitar silently and followed the organizer backstage where, big surprise, Tucker was in the middle of playing, taking his turn right before me.

I peeked at him from the side of the stage, and my heart skipped a beat when I saw him sitting on a single stool under the spotlight, his cowboy hat tipped down as he focused on his fingers that strummed the guitar. He played Garth Brooks’ “The Dance,” and he did it beautifully. Pride swelled in my chest. He didn’t make a single mistake. There were a couple points in the chorus where he could’ve been stronger, but for all accounts and purposes, he nailed it.

When he finished, the crowd cheered, and his smile looked a little dazed and overwhelmed as he waved and bowed for them.

Then he swiveled in my direction where I was waiting just offstage to take my turn. He started to exit, only to slow when his gaze met mine. Then his jaw tensed, he picked up his pace again, and nodded solemnly as he passed by.

Drawing in a breath when the coordinator waved me forward, I glanced back at Tucker’s retreating back before I spun around and strode before the crowd.

This was my night, dammit.

I greeted everyone pleasantly and took a few moments to get my gear into position before moving to the mike and hovering my fingers over the strings.

Then I exhaled and dove in, playing hard and confident from the get-go. Everything felt right; I had this competition in the bag. My voice was in perfect shape, and the notes flowed from my fingers like art.

I was nearing the first chorus when I glanced over toward the sidelines and saw him in the shadows, watching me, devastation lining his features.

He knew he couldn’t beat me.

Heart rate kicking up, I faced the crowd again and missed a note, my voice going flat and then hoarse.

I swallowed and returned to the song, only to botch another note a few lines later. But I kept on. Another mistake later, I could even see from the faces in the crowd that I was done and out of the running for first place. So I finished just as strongly and confidently as I’d started, smiling at everyone and nodding my thanks when they applauded, not as heartily as they had for Tucker, but still with impressive excitement.

When I turned to exit the stage, Tucker was gone, thank God, because I wasn’t sure if I could face him right then or not.

Returning to my room, I sat in silence, at peace with what I’d done. I could always make my start some other day. This definitely wasn’t the end for me.

Once the competition was over and all the contestants were brought onto the stage to announce the finalists, I was actually surprised when I made it into the top five, along with Tucker and the dancer I’d seen getting ready with her mom in the bathroom. But it wasn’t until they called his name as the winner that I finally released a relieved breath.

He’d actually done it. Thank God.

Overwhelmed, he gazed around at the cheering crowd with wonder before his gaze sought mine. I lifted my eyebrows and tipped my head, silently commanding him to step up and accept his prize already. He lurched forward, and I smiled to myself as I watched his hand tremble when he reached out to accept the envelope and trophy being extended to him.

From that point on, the rest of the contest was a blur. The host wrapped it up, and thanked everyone for coming, and the contestants scattered around me, hurrying off to find their families.

I glanced back to spot Tucker between people as his mom found him, laughing and crying as she gave him the biggest hug ever.

Nodding to myself, I started down the steps, only to nearly bump into my aunt and uncle along with Trick, who were waiting to congratulate me on placing in the top five.

“Not too bad,” Trick told me, chucking me fondly in the shoulder. “I mean, I’d never seen you mess up so bad like you did on the—” He stopped talking and ducked when Aunt Eva slugged him in the arm.

“You did great,” she insisted, turning to me and giving me a warm hug.

“Thanks,” I said, accepting a hug from Uncle Pick next. “I’m just going to grab my things from the changing room, and I’ll meet you guys at the house, okay?”

“Or we could take you out to eat,” Uncle Pick offered. “Celebrate your top five.”

I shrugged before shaking my head. “No, that’s okay. I just…I don’t think I want to go out tonight.”

“That’s completely fine,” Aunt Eva reassured me, squeezing both my hands before glancing at her husband and then telling me, “Well, you did awesome. Better than I could ever do.” As if realizing she was only making things worse, she cringed and hugged me again. “We’ll see you at home, Rory.”

“Yeah. Bye.”

I slumped back to my room and packed away my guitar. Then I sat there in silence a while before deciding I didn’t want to be here any longer. When I opened the door, the place seemed to have cleared out quite a bit. Good. That would make my walk of shame much more comfortable.

I’d just cleared the back hall, and the exit came into sight when a shadowed form stepped into my path.

“Excuse me,” I mumbled, starting to move around him distractedly until he blocked my way again.

“Rory,” he said, tipping his face up just enough to let me see his face under the ball cap he wore.

I met his green eyes and sighed out a breath before saying, “Dad.”

Four

Rory

Dad’s lips twitched into a grin. “Hey, you. Where’s my hello hug?”

Tears wavered in my eyes as I threw my arms around him and hugged him hard, breathing in his familiar scent. It’d been two months since I’d seen him in person. I hadn’t realized how much I missed him until he tucked me into his arms and kissed my hair.

“Who told you?” I asked. “Uncle Pick?”

He chuckled and ran his hand over my short, spiky hair, his gaze going regretful as he probably thought back to why it was so short now. “Who else?”

I nodded, swallowing. “Anyone else with you? Mom? Ayden? Riley?”

“Nah, it’s just me tonight. Mom had a thing with a new client at the studio. Ayden had voice practice, and Riley’s grounded for playing a prank at school.”

I sighed and shook my head. “Do I even want to know what she did?”

He shook his head. “Probably not. I’m more concerned with wanting to know why you couldn’t even bother to tell us you were going to play in a competition.”

I rolled my eyes and groaned. “Because then you guys would want to be here, and—”

“Yeah, yeah,” he murmured, nodding his understanding. “Then we’d blow your cover and ruin the entire reason you’re here in the first place. I get it.”

“I’m happy to see you, though,” I said, squeezing his arm. And I was. Happier than I could express.

He hugged me again, only to pull away and arch an eyebrow. “So…you thought the cowboy should win, huh? You got a crush on him or something? Your mom would call him a cutie.”

Blushing, I ducked my face and went to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear, only to remember I didn’t have hair long enough to tuck, anymore. “Well…” I admitted. “He needed the prize money more than I did.”

Dad nodded, his eyes watching me steadily. “You scared me there for a minute. I knew you never choked. I’ve seen you run on stage with your mother and me when you were only five and belt out a perfectly flawless performance. I was beginning to think you were sick or something until I saw the look you two gave each other at the end, and then it finally clicked into place.”

“Dad,” I groaned, wincing. “We did not give each other a look.”

“You totally did,” he argued on a laugh. “That boy likes you. And I think you like him back.”

Rolling my eyes, I bumped my arm into his before saying, “He hates Non-Castrato.”

As easygoing as my father was, he merely shrugged and kept smiling. “Hey, we’re not for everyone. He clearly prefers a different genre, which is fine. He was good, though. And I could tell he really loves what he does. You think he’d be interested in making a record? If we clean up his sound a little, I think Hart Productions might just have our next top country singer.”

“Really?” I asked, my eyebrows perking. “You think he has that much promise?”

“Hell, yeah,” Dad answered. He started to say more, only to shift his gaze over my shoulder. Something glinted in his gaze before he murmured, “Well…speak of the devil.”

I turned, only to back into my dad when I saw Tucker hesitantly approaching us. Tearing his gaze from mine, Tucker eyed my dad, as if not sure what to say to him.

So Dad reached past me, sticking out his hand. “Hey there. I’m Rory’s father. Congratulations on your win tonight, son. You did awesome.”

Tucker nodded respectfully and shook with Dad. “Thank you, sir.” His gaze moved to me, and his voice softened as he said, “Hey, can I talk to you for a second?”

My brow furrowed with question as I gave an uncertain, “Uh...”

I glanced up at my dad.

“Oh!” he said as if catching on. “Okay. I, uh…I’ll just be over here.” Dad pointed to the side and moved away to give me and Tucker a bit of privacy. We watched him find a chair about thirty feet away, where he sat and pulled his phone from his pocket to occupy himself.

Not sure what Tucker wanted to say, I turned back to him nervously. He wasn’t throwing out any insults, so it made me think he had something serious on his mind.

“So, what’s up?” I asked before motioning vaguely toward his guitar. “Oh, and hey, congratulations.”

My compliment threw him. He glanced suspiciously at his guitar before returning his attention to me and blurted, “Did you throw the competition on purpose?”

“What?” I backed away from him, my heart pounding over the question because I definitely didn’t want him to learn the truth. “Why in the world would I throw the competition? I wanted that win. More than you’ll ever know.”

“Then what the hell happened out there?” he demanded, frowning as if irritated that I hadn’t performed better. “That was the absolute worst I’ve ever seen you play.”

My mouth dropped open at the bald statement. “Wow, thanks. And it’s called stage fright, asshole. Sometimes people lock up in front of crowds, and that’s what happened. But you know, your sensitivity warms my heart. I so appreciate it.”

“Yeah, but…” He shook a finger at me, his head moving back and forth as his eyes seemed to look straight inside me. “I know you, Hartley. You don’t choke under pressure. In fact, I’d say pressure spurs you on. Every time you’ve ever gotten up in front during class, you dominate the room. You don’t get stage fright.”

I opened my mouth to argue that point, but he lifted a finger to stop me.

“And it was like every wrong chord you played, every off note you sang was on purpose. You never once lost your place. And whenever you were done botching things up, you just returned right back to where you were in the song, never disoriented or flustered. Every mistake you made was fucking calculated.”

My eyebrows lifted and a feeling of disoriented fluster filled me as I realized how closely he’d watched me, how well he knew me. My mouth opened once but words didn’t take on the first try. So I blinked and shook my head before licking my lips and murmuring, “Am I supposed to be insulted by such a ridiculous accusation or feel flattered that you’re obviously so obsessed with me you watch me enough to think you know me that well?”

Without giving him a chance to answer, I turned and started to walk off, but he caught my arm.

Ticked off that he dared to touch me—especially when his touch made me feel tingles of excitement—I whirled to him scowling, ready to read him the riot act for getting so handsy.

But the jerk leaned down and kissed me. He freaking kissed me. And it was...everything.

It was so not what I was expecting, though, that I just stood there in stunned shock as his soft lips caressed mine. He did it with such intensity and purpose it seemed like it should’ve been hard and brutal, but the gentleness and utter sweetness of it caught me totally off guard until I leaned into him and kissed him back.

When he finally stepped away, his gaze locked on mine, gauging my reaction. I blinked at him before swerving my attention toward my dad, who was completely ignoring the screen of his phone and was watching us, his eyebrows raised in questioning surprise.

Tucker glanced over as well. “Is he going to kill me for that?”

I turned to look up at him, blinked once, then scowled harshly. “I think you should be more concerned if I’m going to kill you for that.”

His expression bloomed into an immediate smile—a stunning, breath-stealing masterpiece that had me gaping at it in awe—before he reached out and caught a long feather earring dangling from my ear. “Nah,” he murmured. “You won’t.”

Gah, I really wasn’t comfortable with how well he knew me. Me. Not my mom or dad or my overall family. This guy’s central focus was me.

“But if you were going to hurt me,” he added, his grin turning playful, “you probably shouldn’t have kissed me back.”

I blinked at him, completely unsure how to react. I kind of wanted to lift up on my toes and kiss him again. But he irritated the hell out of me.

Didn’t he?

This was so confusing. Why was he changing the game like this? I wasn’t sure if I could keep up. And I’d always been able to keep up with everything. Heck, I was used to running things. But I definitely wasn’t running this show.

“You threw that contest on purpose,” he said softly, not asking this time but stating, as he let my earring fall from his fingers where it drifted back down to tickle the tops of my shoulders.

“You sound pretty confident about that,” I returned, talking just as quietly as he was.

His smile was slow and cocky. “Oh, I am.”

“Then why even bother confronting me with it?” I charged, shaking my head. “You got what you wanted. What’s the purpose of—”

“Because I can’t figure out why. You’re incredibly competitive. You don’t just concede defeat. And there was no way I would’ve beaten you out there if we’d both played our best. So, why did you let me win?”

With a nervous laugh, I started to back away from him. “Well,” I said, shaking my head, “as nice as it is to hear you confess I’m better than you, this conversation feels like it’s going nowhere real quick, so I’m just going to…”

He stepped toward me, his gaze intent. “Rory?” he said softly, his eyes full of confusion and question. “Just tell me why. Please.”

“Look,” I started, shuffling uncomfortably. Then I glanced away. “It was just your night, okay. You needed the money. I didn’t, so…”

His mouth fell open. Then he shook his head slightly. “How did you know about the money?”

I lifted one shoulder before mumbling, “I might’ve, I don’t know, overheard you and your mom talking in your changing room earlier.”

“Dammit, Rory,” he swore under his breath before ripping off his hat, running his hand through his hair, and then stuffing the Stetson back onto his head. “I didn’t want you to do that. I didn’t…”

His eyes went a little moist, and he stopped talking, too choked up to continue. Wiping his hand slowly over his mouth, he watched me as I silently watched him. Then he shook his head. “That still doesn't answer why. So what if I needed something more than you did? You hate me. Why should you care what I do or don’t get?”

“I don’t hate you,” I blurted, glaring at him for even suggesting that. No one put words into my mouth, especially untrue words.

He stepped close, towering over me, making me gulp because of his overwhelming presence. “Then what do you think of me?”

His voice was so quiet and compelling, I floundered. “I…” Choking in the spotlight—for real this time—I didn’t know what to say. The sarcastic instinct in me wanted to lash out with something scathing and mean, and yet, I kind of wanted to tell him the truth more.

“Don’t be a coward,” he coaxed softly, his eyes begging for honesty. “You’re the bravest spitfire I know. Just say it.”

Dammit, he’d turned this into a dare. I could never resist a dare.

So I growled, “I like you. A lot. Okay?”

His chest heaved as he drew in a long breath. Then he exhaled before admitting, “Well, I like you a lot too.” Eyebrows furrowing in question he asked, “So then, why are we mortal enemies?”

I sent him a small smile. “Because I’m rock and roll and you’re country.”

His lips twitched into its own smile. “I still think that’s the stupidest reason for us to fight. Because I can’t stop thinking about you. Seriously, it’s driving me crazy.”

With a sigh, I shook my head. “Then I guess there’s only one way to take care of this problem.”

And I curled my fingers around the back of his neck before drawing him down to my mouth, where I kissed him this time. His lips moved against mine. We shifted closer, our hands gripping each other. His tongue had just touched mine when a commotion began over where my dad was sitting.

Tucker and I broke apart to glance that way as two people walking by finally recognized him.

“Oh my God. You’re Asher Hart. Oh my God, I love you. Look! It’s Asher Hart.”

Within moments, he was surrounded.

My dad rose to graciously take autographs and greet people, his gaze moving my way so he could cringe out his apology.

I shook my head and waved, letting him know I was fine.

In front of me, Tucker was still holding both my hands as he frowned in confusion at the crowd. Then he turned slowly to blink at me as he pointed toward the horde. “Your dad…” he started slowly.

I sighed. “Maybe this would be a good time to tell you my last name’s not really Hartley. It’s just Hart. And I’m Aurora Jane Hart. But everyone calls me Rory.”

His mouth fell open. “Hart? As in Asher and Remy Hart, lead singer and drummer for the band Non-Castrato? Oh, holy shit.” He slapped his palm to his forehead. “No wonder why you were so pissed at me that first day when I made fun of your Non-Castrato poster. I wasn’t just disagreeing with your taste in music; I was bashing your parents.”

“Yeah, well…” I shrugged and smiled. “I’ve gotten over it.”

“Holy shit,” he uttered, glancing toward my dad and then back to me. “I can’t…this is…whoa.”

I cringed. “Does this change your mind about me, now?”

“What?” His eyebrows furrowed immediately. “Of course not. I still think you’re amazing, but—”

“Good,” I said, grabbing a fistful of the front of his shirt. “That’s all I need to hear. The rest, we’ll work out as we go.”

Then I pulled him in for yet another kiss.

The End

Part Five

The Revenge Plan

And here is a first chapter sneak peek

of the upcoming standalone novel about

Haven Gamble, daughter to Sarah and Brandt.

1

Haven

My eyes!

Oh, God, my eyes had lost their ability to see correctly, because I had to be seeing things. A mirage, or hallucination…or something. That’s all there was to it.

Because I absolutely refused to believe what my brain was trying to tell me that my eyes seriously thought they saw.

No other way could my boyfriend of three years be inside my dorm, naked, with my roommate—also naked—as he gripped her hair hard enough from behind to cant her head back at an awkward angle while he pounded into her ass on, yes, my fucking couch that he’d helped me pick out this summer and haul up two flights of stairs to move into this very apartment.

But why would my eyes play those kinds of evil tricks on me? That was just cruel and unusual punishment. Did they hate me for some reason? Had I pissed them off for staying up late one night too many, straining them to exhaustion as I’d squinted at my laptop and furiously tried to finish papers I had due the next day? They thought they’d get their revenge on me and play this kind of horrible game, telling me I was seeing things that in no way could actually be real.

The couple on the couch startled in surprise when I accidentally alerted them to my presence by losing my grip on the two grocery sacks I was holding, as they loudly crashed to the floor by my feet.

Annabeth glanced over her shoulder and screamed when she saw my silhouette in the doorway. Grabbing a throw pillow—also mine—she desperately tried to cover her bouncing breasts, while Topher yanked himself from her body to spin my way and flash me with a disturbing view of his dick that was still hard and wet from dipping itself inside Annabeth.

“Oh, fuck! Haven!” he cried in guilty despair, covering his junk with both hands as if to prove no misdeeds had been going on here. Nothing to see, just two people hanging out on a couch, all chill and relaxed. It was just total happenstance they both happened to be naked and their privates had been connecting…repeatedly. No biggie.

“Baby, I can explain.”

Well, hell. Now my ears were in on the conspiracy, because that sure sounded like my boyfriend’s voice as he flew off the couch, away from Annabeth.

But what had I done to piss off my ears into making me hear things that weren’t real? I didn’t play music too loudly or attend eardrum-bursting concerts. I swear I even kept the volume in my earbuds at a nice, moderate level. Why would my ears betray me like this, too?

It must be my eyes, going behind my back and tempting my ears over to the dark side. Yeah. Let’s fuck up Haven’s life and make her see and hear things that aren’t real. It’ll be fun.

Bastards.

Topher stepped toward me, stretching out a hand, his eyes filled with concern and apology. I jerked a step back, freaking out, because what if he touched me and I actually felt him? Two senses turning on me and playing tricks on my mind I could buy, but if a third joined the game…? I don’t know. That would make this feel a little too real. And if this was real, then…then my boyfriend of three fucking years was cheating on me. In my apartment. With my roommate. On my goddamn couch!

That’s when it happened. Sensory receptor number three kicked in, and my nose perked to attention, sniffing out the scent of sex.

“Oh, God,” I uttered, backing away and shaking my head in denial.

I saw it, I heard it, I smelled it. That was empirical evidence right there; this was very much happening.

I’d just become a miserable cliché, one of those poor girls who’d just walked in on her boyfriend in the actual act of having sex with someone close to her.

So not cool.

“Haven, just…wait!”

Of course, I didn’t wait. Like I’d do anything that cheating bastard ordered me to do. Yeah, think again, pal.

Spinning away, I took off in a blind panic. I swear, my brain literally shut down on me and I reacted on pure instinct. Flight-or-fight time, baby, and I was flying from this joint because the idea of fighting didn’t appeal. I mean, what if I tried to kick him in the nads and accidentally experienced some skin-on-skin contact and felt squishy, dangling body parts, or parts he’d just been putting inside someone else? Nope, couldn’t do that. So, running was in and fighting, out.

Just until I regrouped, processed, and figured out what I was going to do about this, though. Because, holy shit, what the hell was I going to do about this? My entire life had just altered in the space of two seconds. Like flipped onto its freaking axis, a one-hundred-eighty-degree polar altercation of everything I knew, and everything I was.

Topher hadn’t just been my boyfriend; he’d been my future. I’d been making plans to move in with him after graduation, pay all my bills with him, eat all my meals with him, eventually marry and start a family with him, share my entire freaking life with him. And he’d just ruined that.

All of it.

Blindsided by the betrayal and mortified for being a sucker who’d actually trusted such a liar, I shook my head as my breathing went scattered and chest heaved, feeling as if it’d just been hit by a Mack truck.

But seriously, how could he do this to me? Oh my God, it hurt. I’d put all my confidences, and faith, and loyalties into this guy. I knew he wasn’t perfect, but I had still loved him for everything he tried to be. Except this…this…

Black dots danced in my vision and vertigo assailed me as I shoved open the door to the stairwell and the steps going down seemed to sway unsteadily. I had bypassed the elevator because elevators meant standing and waiting, and who the fuck could stand there and just wait in the midst of a full-on, panic-mode crisis?

Yes, running was really the thing to do right now. No idea where I was running to, but I was trying to get there as fast as was humanly possible. Clutching the railing for dear life, I managed to drunkenly wobble my way down the stairs at warp speed. It’d be a miracle if I made it out of the building alive. There was another flight of steps after this one.

Above me, Topher crashed through the doorway, yelling my name. I glanced back, my hair flying into my face. Between brown tangled strands, I noticed he’d put on pants and was in the process of tugging a shirt over his head. Dammit. In the state I was in, he’d catch me soon.

Being caught would be bad. I’d probably claw his face off. And, while there was some appeal to that idea—and I mean a lot of appeal—something in me said it was still probably a bad plan, something to do with legalities and jail time. Though, if he caught me and it came to that, I’d gladly spend the night behind bars because the claws would come out. And it’d be so worth it to sink them into his stupid, lying face.

But then, I also worried I’d start crying if he caught me, and there was just no way I was going to let that cheater see one drop of my precious heartbreak. It was hard for me to share my tears with anyone. So he definitely wouldn’t be getting them.

Changing tactics, because I really didn’t want to trip and fall headlong down the steps, and the flip-flops I wore were hampering my flight considerably, I pushed through the doorway that led to the second floor dorms—full of freshmen and sophomores who had to share a single room, unlike the nicer apartments we seniors had up on the third floor.

Once I entered the hall, it was about an eighty-foot race to the other end where I could hopefully escape through another door into the stairwell on the opposite side of the building and hurry down before Topher caught up. That was the wish and the hope flooding my veins, and I ran for all I was worth toward the door in front of me to attain that very goal. I was about halfway there when one of the dorm room doors opened, and some guy stepped into the hall, directly into my path.

I didn’t have time to slow down or even warn him I was there before I struck, pounding into him with a force that would’ve knocked pretty much anyone off their feet and sent us both crashing to the floor. But not this guy.

Felt like I collided into a steel wall.

Dazed by the impact, I started to crumble.

“Shit.” In the middle of stumbling backward, he caught me with one arm and steadied us both by reaching out to brace himself against the wall with his other. “Sorry about that. I didn’t see you there. Are you okay?”

“No!” I hollered ungracefully, glancing behind me in a panic, even though I hadn’t regained my balance yet. The handle to the door I’d just escaped through started to turn. Topher would enter this very hall in a matter of moments.

Desperate to avoid even eye contact with him, I screeched, “Go, go, go!” and shoved the guy back through the opening of the room he’d been exiting because our little collision had happened so quickly that the door hadn’t even had time to close yet.

“What…?” Caught off guard, he tumbled backward into the room with me, and this time we did crash to the floor, a tangle of arms and legs. But at least we landed all the way inside the room, enough so that I could kick my foot out and slam the door behind us. Then I scrambled to my feet, pretty sure I kneed the guy I’d landed on in a couple different places in my hurry to get off him so I could return to the door and flip the lock.

Throughout everything, I heard a girl shriek in surprise, crying, “Wick? What the hell?”

Now that I had a locked portal separating me from Topher, I was able to focus enough to become aware of my surroundings. And the word Wick was the first thing to catch my attention.

I knew of a guy named Wick. He was on the team with Topher. I’d never actually spoken to him before, because he and Topher were mortal enemies, and also because Topher had told me Wick had called me a horse-faced troll once.

I don’t know why. He might’ve only been talking shit about me because I’d been dating his nemesis, or maybe he really did think I was butt ugly, but at the moment I didn’t give a shit what he thought of my appearance. He hated Topher, so he might’ve just become my new best friend.

Whirling around, I latched my gaze onto the guy who was still on the floor, just now sitting up and dusting his hands off on the thighs of his jeans. And yep, he was definitely the Wick I’d pictured.

Topher’s archrival: Wick Webster.

In looks, the guy ranked up there with the four Chrises. He was Pratt, Pine, Evans, and Hemsworth hot. Being one of the team’s safeties, I’d heard he led the entire league with having more interceptions than any other player in the division. This made him stupid hot because his body was in prime physical condition. His pecs and biceps were basically suffocating in the plain black t-shirt he wore.

I wanted to snicker and roll my eyes, tell the douche he needed to lay off the tight shirts, but holy damn, the only reason I could think he had those muscles was because God was apologizing to the rest of us for Webster’s shitty attitude—and I’m guessing he must have a shitty attitude if he could so easily call a complete stranger like me a horse-faced troll—therefore, his torso really should be displayed as fabulously as it was.

But he wasn’t just fit, he had a pretty face to go with the body. Full, plush lips, deep penetrating blue eyes, an angular jaw, and not-super-defined, but pleasantly shaped cheekbones. Then there was his hair. God, his hair was gorgeous. Dark with a dash of lighter streaks, it looked silky and soft enough that I’d admired it from afar more than once. It was just long enough for a girl to grip while he was—

Well…let’s just say it was really, really too bad he was most likely a complete jerk. And besides, no girl would be doing anything with him, anyway; Topher had told me he was gay, so I guess it’d have to be some guy—not a girl—who’d get to discover just how graspable his hair was.

When his gaze connected with mine, recognition flared in his eyes, and we both kind of just froze, as if neither of us was sure what to do next. The girl whose room I assumed this belonged to—since this was a girls-only building—surged up from the bed where she’d been studying.

Pointing at me, she gaped. “You’re Haven Gamble.” She turned to Wick. “Oh my God. She’s Haven Gamble. Why did you just drag Haven Gamble into my room?”

Still on the floor, he looked at her, seemingly a little dazed himself. Then he shook his head. “I didn’t. She dragged me in here.”

The girl shook her head, obviously confused. “But—”

She and I both shrieked when a fist suddenly pounded on the door, and Topher’s muffled voice hollered, “Haven! Dammit, get out here right now.”

I backed away from the portal, shaking my head adamantly, as he jingled the handle.

“Haven!”

I sent the door a mean mug, only to yelp when I backed into the girl. She clutched my arm, and I wasn’t sure if she was seeking safety or trying to give it.

“Who’s that?” she whispered fearfully, gripping me hard.

“My boyfriend,” I uttered, beginning to tremble. Then I shook my head because boyfriend sounded all wrong now. “Ex-boyfriend,” I revised.

The entire door shuddered as Topher manually tried to break it down.

“Son of a bitch,” Wick growled, finally getting to his feet.

“Don’t open the door,” I begged him at the same time the girl clinging to me ordered, “Wick, do something!”

He glanced at us, blinking away the two polar opposite commands we’d given him. I shook my head, silently warning him not to oust me. Don’t even try it, buddy, my eyes threatened. You’ll THINK horse-faced troll once I’m done with you if you go anywhere near that door.

That’s when he shattered me with a single question.

“Did he hurt you?”

My lips parted in surprise. It was such a simple, short inquiry. There didn’t even seem to be much emotion behind it. But the way his gaze pierced into me with intensity, gauging my reaction, had me shuddering out a breath, dumbfounded by the fact that he even cared enough to ask.

“Physically, no.” I shook my head, hoping that would be that.

But Wick Webster wasn’t done rattling me to my core. “What about every other way?”

My chin wobbled and tears filled my eyes as my throat went dry with pain. Reality slammed into me, reminding me of everything that had just transpired in the past two minutes: the loss, the agony, the humiliation, the betrayal. I totally didn’t mean to and I certainly didn’t want to, but I began full-on crying.

In front of Wick Webster.

“Oh, God,” I croaked when a sob caught in my chest and caused my entire body to heave. Pressing my hands to my heart, I folded in around myself and began to disintegrate into nothing. I couldn’t deal any longer. Going down with the ship. Sinking.

Soft, supporting hands caught me, and the girl whose room I had invaded helped me lower myself until I was sitting on the edge of her bed.

“Motherfucker,” Wick snarled from across the room. Spinning away, he stormed toward the door.

“No,” I rasped, my voice breaking and barely making a sound as I tried to stand again.

I had to stop him.

But the girl grabbed me, pulling me back down. “No, it’s okay,” she murmured, petting my arm in reassurance. “Wick’s got this. It’ll be okay.”

I turned to look incredulously at her, and she smiled brightly. “I’m Izzy, by the way. It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

What? Why did she say finally? I blinked, only to whirl my attention back to the door as Wick jerked it open enough to fill the entrance with the entire width of his body. Then he growled, “Stop pounding on this door before I break your fucking throwing arm, asshole.”

My eyebrows shot up, only for me to gasp and jerk backward when Topher’s voice tore into the room. “Get out of my way, Webster. I need to talk to my girlfriend.”

“I don’t think so, fuck face. It’ll be a cold day in hell before I ever let you into this room, and besides, your girlfriend’s not here.”

I kind of liked how he emphasized girlfriend, because Topher’s girlfriend really wasn’t in here. That dick didn’t have a girlfriend any longer.

Smooth wording, Webster, I wanted to cheer, because he’d almost just made up for the fact that he’d called me a troll once, except, yeah…no, he didn’t at all.

“Bullshit,” Topher argued.

Wick lurched an inch back as if my ex had just tried to plow through him but hadn’t gotten very far.

“I saw the door slam shut as soon as I stepped into the hall, and besides, she dropped her fucking sandal right outside this room.”

Izzy and I both looked down at my feet. I was indeed only wearing one flip-flop. Damn, I hadn’t even noticed.

“That’s mine,” Wick answered, snagging the sandal from Topher and tossing it blindly into the room over his shoulder so that it landed with a thud in the center of the floor.

“You son of a bitch,” Topher exploded. “I know she’s in there. Haven!” he called frantically over Wick’s shoulder, struggling to get in, but having no luck whatsoever. “I know what you saw. But it was all a big mistake. I can explain. Please, baby, just talk to me.”

I flinched at the word baby and turned my head aside. Izzy quickly hugged me and patted my back.

At the doorway, Wick boomed, “Enough!” as his back muscles tensed and elbows jutted toward us before he shoved forward, his voice going slightly muffled as he followed Topher into the hall. “I said she’s not in there, and even if she were, I still wouldn’t let you in. Now step away from my sister’s dorm before I rearrange your face. And if I ever see you back here again, you’ll wish I’d only fucked up that pretty mug. Go look somewhere else for your girlfriend. She’s not here.”

Topher had always been bigger talk than action. I could tell Wick’s threats had gotten him to back down when he hissed, “I swear to God, Webster. If I find out she was in there after all, I’ll make you pay.”

I heard footsteps stomp away, and my shoulders slumped with relief. It had worked. Whatever Wick had done out there, it had worked, and Topher was leaving. Thank God. I was suddenly buzzing with so much gratefulness from the reprieve that I barely missed Wick’s parting words to Topher who’d already left.

“You already made me pay,” he quietly told the empty hallway. “Since the moment you fucked me over freshman year, I’ve been paying.”

I glanced toward Izzy, realizing Wick had called her his sister. Furrowing my brow, I asked, “What’d he mean by that?”

Her eyes were wide as she bit her lip and shook her head slowly back and forth. “I don’t think we were supposed to hear that part.”

Yeah, but we had heard it, so now I wanted my curiosity appeased.

I opened my mouth to ask if she at least knew what he’d meant, but Wick strode back into the room and shut the door behind him, his jaw tight and eyes narrowed with distaste.

When he glanced my way, his shoulders flinched before he slowly started to relax. He blinked the anger from his eyes until he looked almost regretful, as if he’d somehow let me down.

“I don’t know if he’ll stay away, but he’s gone for now.”

I gulped and wiped the wetness off my cheeks. My knees felt weak and wobbly but I pushed upright, anyway, so I could cross the room to the boy who’d just helped me. All differences we might have aside, he’d gotten me out of a difficult situation. I wouldn’t forget this.

Opening my arms, I hugged him, letting him know just how grateful I was for what he’d done. “Thank you,” I said into a hard, pleasant-smelling chest.

Then I burst into tears again, sobbing all over him.

To be continued…

Acknowledgments

It takes a village to publish a book, that’s for sure! So here is a big thank-you to all the lovely people in my tribe who made The Price of Mason possible for the world to see.

The biggest thanks goes to Kurt, Lydia, and Sadie, who had to put up with me while I wrote, especially this story. After the turn this year took, I didn’t think I’d ever finish it. And I’m sure they celebrated the day I completed the rough draft only because I was done writing and sitting at a computer, ignoring them, and not at all because they were actually happy that I’d accomplished my goal!

Another huge, squishy-hug thanks goes to the rest of my family. You guys keep me sane.

I’m so grateful for the people who were willing to put first eyes on the manuscript. So thank you to Amanda, Ashley, Ana, Alaina, Cindy, Jamie, Kayla, Leslie, Nancy, Sandra, and Shi, and an extra thanks to the four of you who actually gave me some feedback!

And thank you to Summer Warren with the Red Pen Revolution for her amazing editing skills. Then to Judy at Judy’s Proofreading and Shelley at 2 Book Lovers Reviews for putting final eyes on it.

Thank you to the members of my ARC Team and my core group. And finally, thanks to Ashley Gibbons and Diane Plourde for helping me spread the word. The Lord be with you all.

About the Author

Linda writes romance fiction from YA to adult, contemporary to fantasy. Most Kage stories lean more toward the lighter, sillier side with a couple meaningful moments thrown in. Focuses more on entertainment value and emotional impact.

Published since 2010. Went through a 2-year writing correspondence class in children’s literature from The Institute of Children’s Literature. Then graduated with a Bachelor of Arts, English with an emphasis in creative fiction writing from Pittsburg State University.

Now she lives with her hubby, two daughters, cat Holly, and nine cuckoo clocks in southeast Kansas, USA. Farm girl. Parents were dairy farmers. Was youngest of eight. Big family. Day job as a cataloging library assistant.

Harry Potter House Gryffindor, Patronus White Stallion, character match Hagrid. Supernatural Team Dean. Game of Thrones Team Jon Snow and Tyrion Lannister. The Walking Dead Team Daryl. Outlander Team Jamie Fraser. Teen Wolf Team Stiles. Avenger Team Thor...or Hulk (can’t decide). Justice League Team Flash. Arrow Team Stephen Amell. Stranger Things obsessed. Heard Laurel, not Yanny.

Started out reading with the Baby-Sitters Club. Then moved to Sandra Brown, Linda Howard, Julie Garwood, and LaVyrle Spencer in high school. Now all over the place with her romance reading tastes.

Find her online at www.LindaKage.com

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