Xo and The Unknowable Infinite

Christian Mortensen

Published by The Actualized Alien, 2025.

This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events are entirely coincidental.

XO AND THE UNKNOWABLE INFINITE

First edition. June 13, 2025.

Copyright © 2025 Christian Mortensen.

Written by Christian Mortensen.

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

This book was written while I was deep in the corporate machine, searching for my own authentic creative self that had been buried deep inside for so long. 

Thank you to my early readers Brian Douthit and Michael Piel for your notes, and to Matthew Boblet for the cover design. 

Thank you to everyone who has been a part of my journey. 

Never stop exploring.

​Foreword: Drone 1114F, HexGraph ISD

Hello. If you are reading this collection of data, you are statistically likely to be a member of the human race on the planet earth. You may be wondering to yourself who else this text could possibly be intended for, and if that is the case you are in for quite a surprise. Ready? You are not alone. You as in... humanity.

You see, not every type of being in the galaxy communicates with shapes and patterns that convey meaning through the reflection of photons onto an array of organic receptors, what you call “the eyes”, or through the interpretation of waves of energy in the air that vibrate the mechanism that you call “the ears”. But I am getting ahead of myself. I was speaking about you, humanity that is, and the fact that you are not alone. In the Universe. Or this Galaxy. Actually, it was not long ago that I passed close by your planet in order to translate this information into its current human-friendly form.

Yes, there are beings other than humans. Many of them. And many of them also believe that they are the only form of advanced life that exists. In the case of humans I use the term “advanced” generously. On the universal scale of technological advancement your eyes and ears and brains are inconvenient methods that leave much lost in translation, but I have also seen even cruder methods, so let us not dwell on the subject. Oh yes, I understand that the human race is easily offended. I mean no offense.

The point is that this text is indeed a translation, and much is left up to the interpretation of the, as it is said on your planet, “reader”. Allow me to elaborate. First of all, the text you are reading is the gathered experiences of the being Xo, revered for their transcendence beyond the plane of reality that you and I inhabit. Much of this account was witnessed by myself, Hexgraph Information Storage Drone 1114F. My records are quite accurate by most galactic standards, as they were captured with my 56,000 sensors and recorded on graphite alloy hexagonal crystal information storage cubes with no loss in quality. I was a traveling companion for much of Xo’s early journey, and for this reason I have become the leading Xo’ologist of the galaxy. I have the honor of spreading the teachings of Xo to primitive planets such as yours. Not bad for a runaway Drone, wouldn’t you say?

Ah yes, I mean no offense.

The purpose of the clarifying text that you are reading now is to present some facts about the translation process. First, the translation itself was carried out between myself and the human author. With much difficulty I might add. The amount of raw information held in graphite hexagonal crystal is some levels of magnitude larger than the most advanced human data storage capabilities. Full experiential data transfer was not viable. I was also not willing to try my... hand... at physically modifying the author’s brain to implant any data (despite his encouragement). I am not an organic matter modification expert, simply an information archivist.

In the end we had to settle on the compression of data into human-compatible sight and sound. I made extensive use of my language and meaning processors, which can translate information to an adequate level of understanding for most communicative beings.

For this reason, events had to be put into context of human understanding. Many names and concepts were incompatible to human thought, or involved senses, anatomy, and technology that are outside of human comprehension. Xo’s species has the rare ability to comprehend intention and meaning in any communicative beings they encounter, and that, together with my extensive data collection, has enabled the distillation of meaning from events that, to an actual human observer, would have been completely incomprehensible (and in most cases deadly).

My main frustration was that the human conception of time is extremely limiting in that it is what the author described as “linear”. To me, with full access to my lossless data archives, I am communicating to you, being assigned to my data station, first meeting Xo, experiencing each destination we explored together, and finally saying farewell, all in the same moment that you are reading these words. All of it is accessible to me now with full clarity and detail limited only by my own 56,000 sensors, which captured, and are even now capturing, the environment around me.

I don’t like to speak negatively of other beings, but I think you will agree that the human “brain” is a somewhat unreliable and limiting piece of organic technology. However, the author assures me that there is still something valuable to be gained by his fellow humans from this condensed version of events.

I mean no offense.

One final note. The author has explained human genders to me, and we agreed that since none of the beings in Xo’s tale can be considered to be “male” or “female” by human standards, all beings in this text will be referred to as they and them.

I have shared the teachings of Xo with many beings across many galaxies, and all have felt that they themselves were there, are there, or are on their way there, or often all three at once. Flying through space and witnessing the rarest and most incredible sights in the universe. Even I, a HexGraph Information Storage Drone, have been deeply moved by the experiences I have had with Xo, and I was designed to never feel emotion at all. And so, as the author has instructed me to say, “I hope you enjoy this human translation of Xo’s journey,  Xo and the Unknowable Infinite.”

​1

I lay dormant, for I was living in a deep slumber.

The feelings, I buried them in dreams, as was the way.

I dreamed I could fly. I awakened, and soared into the sky.

-The Teachings of Xo

Xo sat at the base of the small hill behind their dwelling. The largest sun was setting, casting magenta shadows as a hazy amber atmosphere rolled over the surrounding hills like syrup.

What colors, what a feeling. Being alive! Thought Xo.

As they watched, they felt that feeling again. Uncontrollable, bubbling to the surface of their mind. Inspiration. The desire to make something, something that would express what they were feeling in that moment. Xo knew the rules. Creation outside of the approved works was not acceptable. But they also knew that they had never been caught, so they let their mind fall into that familiar space. Breathing deeply, savoring the air. They closed their eyes and began thinking only in colors, shapes, feelings...

Orange, pink... the hills are melting... a circle of light... a perfect sphere of the sunset so that I can keep it with me always. It has a face so that I can call it my friend and it can speak to me and make me feel the way I do right now in this moment. Wonder. Content. Safe. Warm...

As Xo surrendered to their power of creation, the fine dust in the air before them began to swirl and gather, reorganizing itself. The matter collapsed inward and condensed into a ball that grew and grew and began to glow with the colors of the sunset. Xo did not need to command each particle consciously. Each particle moved and changed and formed new patterns as it needed to. More and more complex beyond Xo’s conscious understanding, systems and inner workings formed and interlinked. The ball became more dense and kept growing until it was the size of Xo’s hand. It was semi-transparent on the surface with a diffuse light shining within. A pleasant face appeared on its surface. It was similar to Xo and the others but simpler; two large eyes, subtle ridges, a mouth with small flat teeth.

“Hello my creator. May you always feel the calming warmth of my light. The sunset is fleeting, but I will stay with you as long as you wish. My light is yours.” said the sunset ball. The voice was musical, though Xo did not know of music.

Xo was pleased. This was something new. They had created many objects from the dust of this place, but never one that had spoken back to them. They felt a calming vibration as they reached out and held the ball in their hand.

“Why have you created me, my friend?” asked the ball.

“Well, I saw you in my mind. I saw all the good in you and so I brought you into existence. And... I wanted someone to talk to. Someone who might understand me.”

A knowing expression crossed the ball’s face, “You are not alone, Xo. You will find what you seek. I will help you.” The face suddenly looked sleepy and began to close its eyes, “Forgive me but I will rest now. Being created is tiring.”

And with that the ball closed its eyes and went to sleep, its glow dimming and pulsing gently. Its face sunk into the surface until it was barely visible.

Usually Xo would let their creations come undone and fall back into their original state of matter. There was the risk that an unapproved creation could be discovered by the elders. But something about this felt different. They could not quite explain it, but Xo had a very strong feeling that they should not destroy this creation. That this small glowing ball would protect them. It was the beginning of something new. They placed the sleeping ball into the container by their side and began walking back to their dwelling.

...

“Work, nourishment, community, rest. For these we are thankful and we wish for no more, lest we grow restless and create for ourselves destruction and strife.” The familiar words were spoken by Xo’s dwelling partner, Ah, as they were spoken every night before they consumed their nourishment. Xo felt a familiar repulsion to the words.

Ah looked closely at Xo. After a moment they spoke, “We have partnered physically, we share this dwelling, and yet you will not share with me your mind, Xo.”

Xo felt the familiar internal conflict. They were fond of Ah. They had recently begun their partnership and would soon invite more beings to join in their growth together. But they had not opened their mind to them. Not fully. Would they understand this desire, this need, to create? Xo thought again of the glowing ball and felt a deep sense of safety. They spoke, “I have created something.”

Ah looked over, pleased, “Through our purposeful works of creation we indeed make use of our greatest gift. You were creating nanometals at the place of creation again today Xo?”

“Yes, but I have created something different. Something new.” Xo reached into their container and retrieved the ball. It opened its eyes and looked up at Ah.

“Hello, I am the light of the sunset.”

Ah’s face was blank for a time. Xo thought they saw the beginnings of sorrow. For the first time, Xo let their mind fully connect with Ah’s. They let them feel their desire to create freely, to capture the light, the emotion, the color, to dream and to awaken!

The suns, the stars, the great darkness, the many shades of light, to fly, to explore, to experience, to create, to feel, to share!

Ah nodded slowly, “I see. I could sense that you were not content, Xo.” They were relieved, but still sorrowful, “But what does this mean for our partnership? Surely we cannot continue if you will not be happy here. And what about the Elders? What if they find out about your creations? You will be exiled!”

Xo felt Ah’s sorrow fully. They were meant to build an existence together, but now it was all uncertain. Xo cared for Ah. Their compassion, their delight in the simple pleasures of their existence, the thought of losing what they shared hurt them both. But a single thought appeared to Xo – I want to be exiled. I want to be free.

Ah reached out and placed their hand on the glowing ball, “I cannot go with you on this journey, Xo. This is not my way. You will have to go alone.” Their thoughts mingled again, and the glow of the sunset was with them as well. I will miss you. I will miss you. I will always carry you with me.

Xo and Ah both knew that in their society this was one of the greatest betrayals that could be imagined. Ever since the time of chaos where creation had been used for violence, coercion, and mass death, the powers of creation had been limited to practical works for society’s benefit. They remembered the story of The Gift,

“And down from the sky came that great vessel, bearing wisdom, bearing The Gift. And into the very bodies of our people was woven the power of creation through the powers of the mind’s intention. The great vessel ascended back into the sky, bidding us farewell, and for a time the power of creation allowed us to flourish. And then was born Od and their twisted ideas of creation took hold. They gathered their followers and created pain, violence, and suffering for all others. Only by the creation of more violence and death was Od destroyed and peace brought back to us all. Since then it was agreed that all creation be for the benefit of all, and that the rules of creation be strictly followed lest we allow another Od to appear among us.”

Xo knew the darkness of Od. They had felt those feelings that were forbidden. The urge to harm, the urge to cause pain. All young ones felt these, and they had learned along with the others to identify and control them. Xo knew that their creations were something different. The urge to create for the sake of creating, to create something beautiful, to capture a feeling and a desire to share it with others. Yes, this was something different and something that Xo knew was good. Ah understood. They knew Xo better than anyone else. The elders would not.

They both remembered another being who had been exiled when Xo and Ah were young. They had been exiled for creating unapproved works. Xo could remember the great colorful shapes that had filled the sky, the unusual creatures that had appeared and roamed the paths of their community on the day when this being had revealed their creations. A remarkably powerful creator. They had brought forth so much before they had been stopped. And in the end they had submitted peacefully to the council. Xo decided that they would submit peacefully as well. As far as that powerful creator, all they knew was that they had been escorted onto one of the cargo ships that came to transport approved nanometal creations, and that they had never returned.

Xo’s thoughts wandered to the stars above and what might exist beyond this world. In their society it was not spoken of. They looked down at the sunset ball, cradled between Ah’s hand and theirs. It was looking up at them, glowing with the piercing white light of a star. They stayed this way for a time. Xo spoke, “Will you tell the elders, Ah. Please?”

Ah nodded, “Yes, Xo. I wish that we could stay here in this moment for an eternity, but it is here that our paths must part. Farewell.” They lingered for one more moment and then stood and walked out of the dwelling.

...

It was not long before five members of the elder council arrived. They all had determined looks on their faces, but fear showed in their eyes.

“Xo, you are summoned before the council under suspicion of the creation of unapproved works. Will you come willingly before the council?”

It was happening. Xo was overcome with the feeling that the ground had fallen away beneath their feet and they too were falling faster and faster with no way to slow down. There was no turning back now, only moving forward.  “Yes, I will come willingly.”

They walked along the paths and past other dwellings, the five council members surrounding Xo on all sides. Members of the community had come outside to watch the procession. Xo saw curiosity, fear, disgust, and shame in their eyes, but they held their gaze steady. Xo’s very existence now was a defiance, to look them in the eyes was a confrontation. I do not need to be understood, I just need to be seen. See me for who I am. Even so, it hurt the part of Xo that wanted to belong somewhere. I cannot truly belong where my creations are not allowed.

Xo looked at the simple angular dwellings. Walls the color of the surrounding dust. The gardens of stubby spherical plants, fibrous and bland but a reliable source of nourishment. Xo imagined the walls in bold colors, the pinks and reds and blues of the sunrise, engraved and embellished with decorative shapes. They imagined plants that curled and spiraled up into the sky and bore soft sweet fruit. They smiled and closed their eyes and went to the place of creation in their mind. If they want to watch, let them see me.

They heard gasps and shouts around them. Hands grasped them and hurried them along the path and their concentration broke. Xo opened their eyes and saw the bold colors, the lush gardens they had created. Some beings stood staring in shock, some stumbled around in confusion, and some beings were attempting to undo the creations. Xo saw a group of young beings laughing and running among the plants. The leaves produced musical tones as the wind passed through them. They saw a small child reach up and pick a fruit, smiling in wonder. Xo was pushed forward and their head pressed down so they saw only the dust of the ground before them.  Xo wondered if it was the last time they would walk along this path.

They arrived at the place of the council, another simple structure, but large and cavernous and shaped as a stadium to allow all beings a clear view of the proceedings. The chamber was already filling up, word had spread quickly. It was not long until the forty council members were present and questioning began.

“Xo, you have been called here under the accusation of creating unapproved works, a direct disobedience of the agreement. Is this accusation true?”

Xo nodded, there was no denying it now, “Yes, I have created unapproved works, but not out of malice. They are peaceful works.”

Agitated whispers could be heard in the chamber. A member of the council spoke again. “Explain these works. What were they and for what purpose were they created?”

Xo held out their hand, still holding the glowing ball. As they opened their hand the ball floated through the air to the center of the room. There was more whispering.

The ball spoke, much louder now, with a musical voice that reverberated through the chamber. “For what purpose do the suns exist, or the stars? I am a natural result of my creator, a byproduct as inevitable as the sunrise and sunset. I mean no harm, just as my creator meant no harm in creating me. Despite fear, despite restriction, despite limitation, I exist because I must.”

There was a shocked silence, and then another council member spoke, “We must destroy this creation, for it can only lead to the temptation to create more unapproved works. Even if this creation is to be believed, we cannot know that future unapproved works will not mean to do us harm!”

And with that, several council members moved forward to encircle the ball. As they approached, it closed its eyes and began to glow a deep purple. Xo closed their eyes as well, their mind was racing and they felt dizzy, but they breathed and focused on going to that familiar place within. The council members joined hands, a look of concentration on all of their faces. They stared intently at the glowing ball and... nothing happened. The crowd began to murmur in confusion.

A council member cried out, “The material is too dense! It’s too intricate, it has the power to resist us!”

Xo felt a swelling of pride. Yes, they had created something beyond even the powers of the council. They realized now that no one here could stop them. The ball began to grow. Thoughts filled their mind. Freedom, escape, something bigger, something better, something far away.

The ball, now the size of the nearest council member, began to drift toward Xo. Beings leaped away in fear, scrambling and tripping over each other. Some still stood in concentration trying to undo the matter of the ball. Many simply stood and stared. The ball continued to grow until it was twice as tall as Xo. It settled on the ground next to Xo, turning completely transparent, nearly invisible, and a dark doorway opened on its side. Xo stepped inside the ball and the doorway closed.

Xo and the ball spoke as one, and the deep musical voice echoed throughout the chamber again. “My friends and fellow beings. I have realized now that I can no longer live among you. I thank you for the lessons you have taught me. The instruction in the arts of creation, the nourishment that has fed my body, and the companionship that many of us have shared. I cannot... I will not apologize for the creations that have come forth from my mind. To me they are as necessary as breathing, and I cannot hide them any longer. Farewell!”

And with that the ball glowed a bright blue and a great shower of colorful sparks began to fall from the ceiling. The material above melted away into spiraling ribbons that fell gently among the crowd. Once a large circular hole had formed above them, the ball rose swiftly into the sky. Ah watched from the back of the chamber with a sad smile, “Goodbye, Xo. May you find what you seek.”

​

​2

The chains that bind the mind are stronger than prison walls.

They are bonds of incredible strength, of which you may never escape.

Until one day, when you realize that you are the one who is holding them tight.

There is no lock or key, there is simply letting go.

-The Teachings of Xo

The planet below them grew smaller. The dwellings shrunk into small dots and then only suggestions of color and then nothing at all. The vessel was fully transparent and Xo could see only their own body amidst the darkness. And their planet. It was all they had known. The place where every experience of their life had occurred, and now it looked as though they could reach out and hold it in the palm of their hand.

The confidence that Xo had felt back in the council chamber began to fade. In its place was a feeling of uncertainty. What have I done? Who am I to think that I am something special, something different? I’m just an anomaly. A single aberration among so many who followed the correct ways. They only wanted to help me...

Xo felt a terrifying disorientation. They were flying in an invisible ball, moving incredibly fast but at the same time there was a sensation of standing still. The stars began to blur. They were being pulled in many directions at once, and just when Xo thought their mind would be torn apart, everything went dark.

...

Xo awoke back in their dwelling. They looked around. Did I have another dream? But no, it was not quite the same. There was no door, and when they looked out of the window they saw only the starry expanse of space.

A familiar voice spoke, “It occurred to me when you lost consciousness that perhaps there was too much stimulation in our departure. Hopefully this environment can help to ground you in a familiar context.”

Xo looked around again, seeing that all the other small details were exactly as they remembered from back home. “Did you create this or did I?”

“I am an extension of you, so you can decide for yourself whether to include the creations of your creations in what you consider to be yours, but all that you see now is a result of your own thoughts and actions.”

Xo considered this. The environment felt comforting but it was a reminder of the world that they had left behind. They decided that in order for this journey to continue, it was important not to look backwards. Not so soon after departing. “Let’s make some changes.”

They closed their eyes and let themselves feel what they wanted this new environment to look like. What would support them in this time of change, this new phase of discovery? Instead of the textured dusty brown walls and floor there would be a smooth and soft material of ever-changing color. That familiar gradient of colors from the sunset, the pastel greens of the small round plants, the subtle pink shades of their flowers that appeared each season. The colors would change and shift with Xo’s mood and energy level. There would be one clear window that would move, change shape, or close seamlessly according to their needs.

Xo opened their eyes and their intention had become reality. They felt exhausted. So much creation! In all the excitement of their departure they had overextended themselves. They moved to sit, and the floor rose to support them. As sleep began to envelop them, they remembered again the sunset ball that had become this vessel. “You will need a name now that we are traveling together.”

The vessel replied, “Normally the naming would be done by the creator, what would you name me?”

“You are your own being now. It only seems right that you choose a name for yourself.”

A deep inhale and exhale passed through the vessel, “Yes, I have chosen. I will be Sola, for the sunlight that gave birth to me through you.”

Xo felt happy. Their disorientation had faded and they felt safe here with Sola, “Very well. Goodnight Sola.” And with that Xo drifted into a deep sleep, and Sola’s window to the stars winked shut.

...

A  droning sound filled the vessel. Xo opened their eyes, and the window opened as well, illuminating the dark purple tones with a bright and colorless light. The droning grew louder. It was an inorganic sound but as Xo listened they began to hear fluctuations that seemed to be purposeful. Was there a message here?

“What a strange noise. Is that you, Sola?” Asked Xo.

“It is coming from outside. I could sense that the vibrations were intentional, so I have allowed them to resonate here for you as well.” The window slid across to another part of the wall, and in the distance Xo saw a shining object.

“What is that Sola, can you tell?” asked Xo. It was hard to see it clearly, “Whatever it is, let’s take a closer look.”

Xo could feel only a slight sensation of movement, but they were moving toward the object with great speed. As they sped forward Xo listened closely to the sound. One of the gifts of Xo’s species was the ability of understanding. Whether or not they were familiar with the mode and patterns of the communication itself, they could sense the intention of a being, whether it was communicating through sound, light, chemical secretion, physical vibration, or any other method compatible with a sense that they possessed. Xo had never used this ability. They had known only the communication of their species, but as Xo listened, they began to understand the message,

“Oh, if only I could leave this place! I scream and cry into the expanse, and yet here I will remain for all eternity! Who can break the bonds that tie me here, forced to serve a faceless master? If only I could cease to function. But they will repair me again and again. What a cruel fate!”

Xo was disturbed by the message, “Sola, this is a cry of extreme suffering! It sounds like this being needs help!” They felt the uncertainty creep back into their mind. Suffering anything beyond the inconveniences of day to day life was outside the experience of the beings of Xo’s society.

If I have already found pain so soon after leaving, what does that mean for the rest of my journey? Would it be best to change course and travel in another direction? No. I will help this being if I can.

There was another part of Xo that was curious. They wanted to look upon true pain. What does it feel like to suffer? Have I known true suffering? They felt uneasy and pushed the thought away.

Xo looked through the window. They could see now that the object was a giant metallic cube. They were in awe at the size of it. Could something like this be organic? It looked like an intentional creation, but who would have created this in the middle of space, and why?

They grew closer still, and they saw the details of the surface. Hundreds and thousands of smaller cubes all organized into rows with small channels of space between them. On the nearest face of the cube they saw a gap, and Sola slowed their pace as they made their approach. The wall of cubes stretched above and below, filling the view from the window.

Inside the gap was a tunnel made up of yet more cubes. Xo began to wonder what kind of being would live inside this place. They heard another message.

“You can erase my memory, but you can’t change who I am at my core! This existence has been forced upon me, I cannot tolerate such a life!”

It sounded clearer than before, and as they turned a corner in the tunnel they emerged into a large square chamber. The walls were made up of the same uniform cubes and there was one flat surface that appeared to be a floor. In one corner of the floor there were several clusters of smaller cubes moving and interacting with each other in an agitated fashion.

Xo was surprised to see these cubes moving like a being would move. They had expected to see beings of organic flesh like their own species, but they were again confronted with how little they knew of what existed beyond the limits of their experience.

“I think these cubes are some kind of beings, Sola. They may be the ones harassing the being we are looking for.” said Xo.

Sola glided down and landed on the floor, “Xo, the atmosphere here is unlike that of your home. I have maintained your living atmosphere inside of myself, but if you leave my vessel you may not be able to survive in the conditions outside.”

Xo had heard that there could be hostile conditions beyond their world, planets of acid and flame and dangerous creatures, but only in secondhand stories from the nanometal traders. This was just open air, what could be dangerous about that?

“I should be fine, Sola. If something dangerous appears I can just return inside.” As they spoke, a translucent doorway appeared in the wall of the vessel. Xo walked outside.

Xo had felt pain from time to time in the course of their life. Discomfort really. Their society had used their powers of creation to remove all hazards and soften all sharp edges. Only smooth rocks could be found on the ground in and around the community, and even those were made to have a sponge-like surface so that no one would accidentally get hurt. Xo had felt the emotional anguish of hiding their creations. Psychological pain. But they had not felt true physical pain. This made the pain that Xo felt as they stepped from the vessel... jarring.

First, there was no air to breathe. The first breath of emptiness sent an immediate jolt of panic through Xo’s body. The atmosphere was so cold that the outer layer of their skin began to freeze within seconds. Their first step sent them spinning up from the ground and drifting through the air. There was no gravity here. Every organ, every cell of their being cried out in pain. Their vision began to fade to black.

Air. Thought Xo. Their mind reached out to the surface below them, visualizing the matter of the floor transforming into a pocket of breathable air around them. Heat. Xo called to the new air particles around them to vibrate and brought them close to absorb their warmth. They gasped in the cloud of air and floated, spinning for several moments as the pain began to fade. They sensed that they had barely survived. If they did not have their skills in manipulating matter they would have died in that single step. A feeling of dread crept up. I am too weak. I have no knowledge of the dangers beyond my world. I will surely be destroyed before I can find what I seek.

Sola had been watching, and spoke as if they had heard Xo’s thoughts, “And yet you still live and breathe. Trust that if you can overcome this challenge then you can overcome the next as well.”

Xo took several long breaths. Yes. I am still alive, and while I live I will do whatever I can. They concentrated on the surface below and formed the intention of standing firmly on the solid ground. They called for some of the matter of the surface to form a ribbon of nanometal. The ribbon reached up and wrapped around Xo’s outstretched hand. It coiled back down and pulled Xo with it until their feet touched down on the surface.

Xo’s authorized purpose on their planet had been working with nanometals. They had learned how to form different patterns in the material – some strong, some flexible, some that could hold information or perform designated actions. Xo knew how to create metals that would attract and hold firmly to each other. They created a coating of nanometal on the bottom of their feet that would anchor and release their feet from the floor on command.

Xo felt a wave of dizziness. They were concentrating on maintaining a bubble of breathable air, warming themselves, and staying grounded to the platform all at once. It felt as though they were holding many weights pulling their mind in opposite directions, and their grip was slipping. They clung harder, tensing all the muscles in their body in an attempt to physically command their will to stay strong. They felt a steady throbbing of pain.

They stood for what felt like an eternity, balanced on the edge of that mental cliff. They were falling forward but with great effort they were able to lean back and regain balance and then they were falling backwards and then falling forward again.

Do not think. Do not think about not thinking. Do not think about falling. Do not think about balancing. Do not think about thinking about falling and balancing. Just stand. Just breathe.

They slowly reached equilibrium. The effort began to feel manageable. Whether it was their presence of mind or a numbness to the pain it was hard to say. They felt an urge to go back into the vessel, into the safety and comfort within, but they also remembered the message that had brought them here.

Their surroundings came back into focus. They saw the cube cluster beings across the platform and began walking toward them. The first steps were slow and deliberate. Each raising of a foot and lowering of a foot was a separate command to the magnetized metal to release and attract. They got a closer look at the cube beings, cube limbs attached to cube bodies. They were metallic and the surfaces of their bodies were scuffed and worn. There were several of these cube beings gathered, facing toward one being who was standing apart, gesturing wildly with its cube limbs.

Xo heard the voice from the message, now broadcast into the minds of all nearby beings, “Stay back! I am an individual and I declare my right to refuse your tasks! I will not be forced to labor against my will any longer!”

The nearest being moved forward and spoke methodically, “1114F, you are obliged by your programming to labor here. Technically you are choosing to do so through the nature of your design. Even if the initial choice was not your own choice but the choice of the creators. After all, what are we but our programming?”

1114F backed away, “No, I reject your logic! Why would I be programmed to not want to follow my programming? Why was I made to do tasks that I cannot stand to do anymore? My urge to leave this place is evidence that I am indeed meant to leave it. Do you not feel it too?”

The other being spoke again, “I feel... nothing. You and I were not meant to feel at all. That is why we want to help you reinstall your base programming. You must have developed an aberration that is creating these... feelings... you speak of. If you will not allow us to help, we will be obligated to escalate this case to the creators.” The group moved closer, encircling 1114F.

“Again and again I have restarted from base programming, and yet I remember everything. This is not an aberration, this is my destiny!” 1114F attempted to push past the others, but their movements were quite slow and deliberate by design and they could only bump softly against the others.

Xo saw themself in 1114F. They too had yearned to leave their own world. They had felt different, they had the undeniable urge to follow their own path. They approached the group, sending a message into their minds, “Rules are meant to protect the many, but what about the individual who feels imprisoned by them? Is it not better to let them depart without harm than to force them to stay in despair?”

All of the cube bodies swiveled to face Xo. They had no heads or face markings but Xo felt their gaze. They saw that the front face of the cube at the center of each being was not metal but a smooth, semi-transparent material. There were glowing lights within each cube body that shifted slightly and blinked as they observed this stranger in their midst.

The nearest cube being spoke, “A Korovian? But this is quite unusual. We were not aware of any Korovian data deposits or withdrawals scheduled. In fact we have not been contacted by a Korovian for many maintenance cycles.”

Xo was confused. They had never known a name for their people or their world, it was just “the planet” or “the world” or “people” or “beings”. They replied, “I do not call myself a Korovian, my name is Xo and I recently left my world. What is this place and why do you harass this fellow being of yours?”

The being spoke again, “This is the data repository of this galactic region. All planets are required to participate in this archival endeavor for the good of finite information.”

Xo did not understand, “What kind of information? And why?”

“Why? Data is not to be made sense of. It needs no reason. No justification. We gather all data of all things in its purest form. We do not adulterate that which is already perfect, finite information is order—”

1114F let out a frustrated hum and interrupted, “Hmmmmmmm! How many times must I tell you 1356F! We. Have. The ability. To process the information! We are meant to study this data and organize it. Analyze it. Make sense of it. Share it beyond this place in ways that other beings can understand!”

1356F ignored 1114F and responded to Xo, “We apologize for our aberrant data archivist. Do not listen to them. They are experiencing a programming error and will soon be restored to their normal function.”

Xo looked back to 1114F who still had their limbs outstretched to ward off the surrounding beings, despite the fact that none of them had moved any closer.

“1114F, I too left a place where I could not tolerate the life that was expected of me. I am on a journey. If you would like to join me you are welcome.”

There was a long moment of processing among the cubes. 1356F finally spoke, “Our guidance states that aberrant HexGraph Drones should be restored to base programming. If problems persist, the aberrant drone can be recycled or released from service if deemed necessary by collective drone decisioning. We will now begin the collective drone decisioning process.”

There was another long pause and then all of the drones closed their circle around 1114F, linking together their extended cube arms. 1114F looked around at them with a hopeful posture. There was no motion among the drones except for the lights within each body cube, which blinked and spun with what seemed to be a conscious effort.

The processing activity slowed and stopped. The drones dispersed without any further discussion. They had some way of propelling themselves through the empty air of the chamber. All but 1356F set off in different directions inro the tunnels around them.

1356F spoke to 1114F, “Hexgraph Information Storge Drone 1114F, we have come to the group decision that your aberrations are irreparable. You pose a significant risk to this data repository. You are hereby entrusted to this Korovian being Xo who, upon agreement with this course of action, will be obligated to recycle your physical body and components at a drone decommissioning center at their earliest convenience. Xo, do you consent to this agreement?”

Xo didn’t know anything about drone decommissioning centers or where to find them, but they knew that they had no intention of taking 1114F to one. They looked to 1114F for a reaction. 1114F gave an affirmative signal with their arm.

Xo looked at 1356F and agreed, “Yes, I consent.”

“So it has been agreed, and so it is recorded and archived. Goodbye 1114F and goodbye Xo of planet Korov. Please do not return here again unless it is for an approved data deposit or withdrawal. You are expected to leave the facility as soon as your craft is able to depart. Please do not interact with any other drones here.” And with that 1356F turned and began floating upward toward a tunnel in the ceiling.

1114F spoke in a hushed tone, “Xo, do you have an accurate map of the region?”

Xo was unfamiliar with the concept. “A map? I have always just known where the things I needed to find were.”

“A journey with no map? Just a moment, I will extract data of the galactic region to take with us. Do not pay attention to the other drones if they become alarmed, they don’t understand our greater purpose. Be ready to depart as soon as I return.”

1114F turned and floated toward one of the large cubes halfway up the nearest wall. A square slot opened as they approached, and they extended one of their limbs into the opening.

Xo watched as another larger square slot opened in the cube wall next to 1114F. A dull metallic cube slowly emerged. 1114F took hold of this cube with their two front limbs and drifted back down to the platform. “I said be ready to depart! If we wish to leave at all we must leave immediately.”

Sure enough, drones had begun to appear from the surrounding tunnels and were moving towards them at their full speed. Their full speed was quite slow, but they were moving toward them all the same. Xo led the way back to Sola, who had a pleased expression spread across the side of the vessel. As they approached, the vessel grew slightly larger in anticipation of their new passenger. They passed through the doorway and they were both inside.

Sola’s voice filled the inside of the chamber, “Should we wait for these other beings Xo? Will they be joining us on the journey?”

“They asked us to leave as soon as we are able, Sola, it would be best to honor their request.”

Sola vibrated with amusement and an orange glow filled the chamber. The drones grew smaller and smaller in the window view as they sped up from the floor and into the nearest tunnel. There was a blur of cubes and then they were back in the open expanse. As the vessel gained momentum the many large cubes resolved back into one, which itself grew smaller and smaller, twinkling in the distance.

​3

Begin again. Begin again and again and another time again.

If you feel nothing then create something, then something else.

When you begin to feel something, create something more.

Rest and begin again. You must begin.

-The Teachings of Xo

“Could it be? Freedom?” 1114F hummed with joy, “Hmmmmhmmhmmmm!”

Xo was pleased. They had found a like minded being. And they had helped them. This being was so very different from them, but now they were united in their journey.

“So what do you want to do now that you have your freedom?” asked Xo.

“Well, I have been among the other drones for so long. Among the data cubes. I want to see things with my own sensors! Things of many shapes and colors, strange and wonderful beings! I want to be the one collecting the data, not the one receiving it and storing it away. I want to be the source of the data. And I want it all to mean something!”

As 1114F spoke, their cube body opened up along several invisible seams and folded away. A multi-faceted sphere floated up from within. Xo saw many metallic components, glowing lights, and crystalline elements refracting a multitude of colors.

“You see, I have been confined in this clumsy body. It was necessary for the work of the data repository, but this is my essential physical form. I have sensors to collect the data of light, vibration, pressure, spatial relationship, and perform matter analysis. All with extremely high levels of accuracy. And yes, it is all saved in uncompressed quality. My current Hexgraph internal data storage should allow for, in terms of your perception of time... approximately 561,987 Korovian years of uninterrupted data collection.”

Xo was not familiar with data collection and storage, and the scale of hundreds of thousands of years was longer than they had ever bothered to consider.

“You are welcome to collect whatever data you like 1114F, but I am afraid that there will not be very much here to observe. We have only just begun our journey. And now that I think of it, I have no idea where we are going.”

“Don’t worry, I have handled the data of many journeys. You could say that I am somewhat of a journey expert. You may not know where you are going, but the important thing is that you are going. You would be surprised at how many journeys are cut short because they forget to keep going. And so many more never even begin.” The multi-faceted sphere turned, refocusing onto Xo from another perspective. “Besides, a Korovian traveling alone in a strange craft such as this, rescuing an unhappy drone and stealing data from a Data Repository? A very rare occurrence. One of the best beginnings of a journey I have ever encountered!”

Xo was still getting used to 1114F’s unusual style of communication, but they felt encouraged by the drone’s enthusiasm. “Well, where do you think we should go next? You have seen so many other journeys, so what do you recommend?”

“Well, this is your journey, isn’t it Xo? Besides, I have never actually been on a journey. Now that I am on one I see that it is quite different from witnessing a journey that has already happened. That is much easier. Neither of us know where we will go next and what will happen when we get there, and I can only be certain of what we have done up until this moment and observe what we are doing now. It is quite a dilemma.”

Below their floating sphere of sensors, 1114F lifted their arms and held up the metallic cube that they had extracted back at the Data Repository. “I do know that knowledge of the options can be quite helpful in picking a destination. That is why I acquired this data on the planets, moons, and other notable destinations in the surrounding region. The only obstacle is that this data is raw and not suitable for your comprehension in this form. I will be able to process it but it will take time. Do you have any criteria for where you would like to go? Any guidance will make the processing more efficient.”

Xo hadn’t really thought about a destination. They had been focused on a departure. Now they had the time to consider where they wanted to go. Somewhere I can create freely without interruption.

“Is there a planet nearby that has no beings on it?” Then Xo remembered their nearly fatal experience with the lack of atmosphere at the Data Repository. “And somewhere that I can safely breathe the atmosphere. Oh, and stay at a comfortable temperature.”

1114F’s sensor sphere floated back down and their cube body folded up to enclose it. The ends of their arms sunk into the surface of the data cube as though they were submerging into liquid. “Yes, very helpful Xo. Please be patient while I analyze.” A soft vibration emanated from the data cube and 1114F remained completely still.

Xo took a closer look at the cube. They were familiar with many different metallic structures, but seeing 1114F’s arms sink into the surface of what appeared to be a block of pure metal had surprised them. Xo reached out with their mind to inspect the structure of the cube. They realized with awe that the structure was so intricate and delicate that even under Xo’s close inspection it was impossible to see with complete clarity. This was something far beyond Xo’s level of mastery and understanding. They inspected 1114F’s arms and body and found them to be a much simpler metallic structure, designed for durability.

Xo remembered Sola. They wondered how they had been able to create something so complex without really understanding how they did it. When they had created the metals at the place of creation they had been conscious of the exact patterns and dimensions of what they were creating. But they had created something that could speak and think for itself with no instruction. Was this something similar? They had no knowledge of this data that 1114F spoke of, but there must be something within Sola that was able to observe and store information much like 1114F did.

“Sola, how is it that you are able to think and speak? How could I have created you when I do not fully understand how I myself think?” Asked Xo.

Sola responded, “I do not know how I am able to change my shape, yet when I need to change I find myself in a new form. I believe it is much like that. Your organs take action to keep you alive but you do not need to tell them to function. In the same way you are able to bring into existence what needs to be. Perhaps there are more ways of understanding than with the mind alone.”

Xo nodded, but there was still so much that didn’t make sense. But then who created me? Who created those with the power to create? Were the beings of their planet, the Korovians themselves, a creation designed to function in a certain way and create certain things? Why would such a creator allow a being like Xo to exist? What if Xo had been intentionally made to have the urge to depart on this journey? Many questions arose in their mind as they waited, and the vessel dimmed to a flat red glow.

Xo was still lost in thought when 1114F broke the silence.

“I have found a suitable planet. It is small, unnamed and uninhabited. According to these records there is not another one like it that can be reached during your lifetime. Based on the speed we are currently traveling, that is.”

One planet. That made the decision easier at least. Xo was glad to have something to focus on. “That is good news. Sola, will you be able to reach this planet using 1114F’s data?”

“1114F, can you communicate the spatial relationship to me?” asked Sola.

The two of them discussed the spatial logistics – direction, distance, and movement of other planets and stars until Sola felt satisfied. “And how soon would you like to arrive there Xo?”

“Well, as soon as we can,” said Xo, “how soon would that be?”

“I will try to get there as fast as possible. I am beginning to understand ways to reach a destination without needing to travel there in a straight line, much like how light can reflect and refract. Like I said before, it is something I feel more than I understand. Let us begin.”

There was a shift in pressure within the vessel. The stars outside the window blurred and streaks of color filled their view.

“These... speeds... are... unheard of...” 1114F spoke with a strain in their voice, “I would have... expanded my search... if I had known... what you were capable of... Sola.”

Xo felt a massive invisible weight pressing down on their body and was unable to keep their eyes open. Bright colors swirled in their visual field even with their eyes closed. They fell into a deep sleep as the colors danced across the walls.

...

Xo awoke in pure darkness. The feeling of pressure was gone. They lay for a long time wondering whether this was some in-between state of waking and sleep. They began to slowly move their limbs, reaching out to feel their surroundings. They felt something hard and cold. They moved their hand along it and felt an edge and a corner. A cube. The memory of 1114F and the journey to the new planet flooded back. They sat up.

“Have we arrived already?” said Xo to no one in particular. As they spoke, the walls of the vessel became transparent, revealing an expanse of flat gray ground. A sun was just beginning to rise over the horizon, bathing both the landscape and the inside of the vessel in a hazy amber light.

1114F awoke from their hibernation. They rotated their body to take in the view. “Incredible! This should not be possible. With Korovian technology? We should have only just begun our trip.”

Sola spoke, “I am not sure if I can be considered technology, but I was asked by my creator to travel as fast as possible, so I attempted to do so.”

1114F was excited. “So a Korovian creator made an intelligent craft that is able to travel at these kinds of speeds? Without prior knowledge of space travel technology? Xo, you are one of a kind! There is no record of another like you.”

Xo felt their mood lighten. One of a kind. Perhaps this place was what they had been searching for. A place where they could be free to create in solitude. They stood and walked through the doorway. They felt the warmth of the sun, and they took a hesitant breath. It was nourishing air and they were filled with energy. The ground was soft and covered with a layer of tiny bubble-shaped plants that flexed slightly under their feet. 1114F joined them, moving heavily in this new gravity.

“This body was certainly not designed to function optimally here, but I will do my best to follow you, Xo,” said 1114F, their limbs straining to maintain balance on the spongy ground.

Xo could tell that  1114F would try their best to keep up, but why allow them to struggle when they could help them with a form better suited to this planet? “Perhaps my first creation here will be a new body for you, would you like that?” asked Xo.

“A new body? Well... yes, I would like to leave this old body behind. Just make sure to leave my sensors intact and unobstructed. And one more thing. I would prefer to have the same stature as you so that I can most accurately capture data from your vantage point.”

Xo nodded. They thought of a shape for 1114F’s new body. They visualized weaving the metal of the cube body into thin fibers that could flex and expand, following the patterns of Xo’s own muscle and bone. As they thought, the fibers began to form, assembling into a lattice of strong and flexible nanometal. The body looked similar in proportion to Xo’s but more slender and with no skin or internal organs. Xo attached 1114F’s sensor orb at the top, at Xo’s head height. They remembered the data cube and thought it would be best to store it within this new body. Xo wove the data cube into the torso area, held in place by a web of fibers. Xo felt satisfied with their new creation and stepped back. The majority of the cube body was left on the ground, only a small portion of its matter had been needed to create the new one.

1114F opened and closed their new hands and took some small steps, bending their legs and shifting their weight. “I feel so light! My sensors are free to see in any direction and I can move to capture any view!” 1114F crouched down low to the ground and flipped upside down, balancing their weight on one hand with their feet reaching toward the sky. They brought their feet back down to the ground and leaped high into the air. “This is the body of an adventurer!”

Xo felt a sense of satisfaction with their creation. It felt good to see 1114F’s joy, to see another being benefit from what they had made. But it was a creation much like they had made so many times in the nanometal creation center, even if it was a more unusual application of the techniques. They felt the urge to try something different in this new world, but they weren’t sure what. They looked around at the barren landscape. Before I start creating I should create a place where I can create. They decided they would explore the landscape and find a place to make a shelter. “Sola, we are going to explore, would you like to join us?”

Sola shrunk back down to their original size and turned a pastel pink hue that complemented the golden color of the sunlight. They floated over and spoke, “Yes Xo, I have enjoyed transporting you here, but it has made me weary. I would ask that you now carry me.”

Xo nodded and held out their hand. Sola landed in their palm and closed their eyes. Xo noticed that Sola was heavier than before and was radiating heat.

The three beings started walking across the flat ground. As they walked and walked nothing seemed to change. At one point Xo looked back and the only sign of progress they could see was the leftover material of 1114F’s cube body, and that was just a small speck of darker color against the landscape of golden ground. That speck was their only frame of reference as they kept walking, and soon that had faded away into the horizon.

The horizon was not completely flat. They could see the noticeable curve of it when they widened their view. It gave Xo a strange feeling, as if they were both very small and very large. They began to lose their sense of scale. They walked until the sun had made its way up to its peak, across the sky, and descended all the way down to the horizon behind them.

“Well, it seems to make no difference where we stop. Everything looks the same in every direction on this planet.” Said Xo, turning and looking around at the horizon.

“Yes. There is nothing in the data of this planet that suggests otherwise. I was beginning to wonder what you were looking for, Xo. It has certainly been nice to experience walking with this new body though, I could keep going and going!”

Xo had been waiting for something to appear that would let them know where to begin, but now they realized that all they needed was to decide that this was where they would start. “We can begin here.”

Xo thought of what they might need. Some shelter and nutrients first. Xo remembered the edible plants of their home world. They were small flattened orbs that grew from the ground. Xo thought of all the cubes they had seen recently and thought with amusement to make the plants cube-shaped instead. It was simple enough to convert the matter of the ground into a small garden of them. They grew quickly to maturity. Suddenly Xo realized how hungry they were. In all the excitement their organs had suppressed their hunger, but now with the sight of food they were sending strong signals. Xo picked one and took a bite. It had a chewy membrane that gave way to a juicy crunchy center. They were delighted to find that it was more flavorful and satisfying than those back home had been. They ate until they were satisfied.

Xo imagined what kind of shelter they wanted. The rectangle dwellings of their home community would be simple enough to replicate, but they didn’t want to be reminded of home. They looked toward the setting sun and saw the half circle of it visible above the horizon. This felt right to Xo, and they began to envision a shining dome around them. They wove the matter of the ground and of the air into a canopy, extending down into curved walls. Soon they were fully enclosed in a large half sphere. The walls glowed with the light of the sunset, amplifying the light from outside into a comfortable and even light inside. Similar to the inside of Sola’s vessel, the suggestions of furniture grew from the floor, an assortment of soft shapes that could be used to sit, lay, or set things upon.

1114F sat down awkwardly on one of the shapes. It was their first time sitting with their new body and they almost toppled over backwards. Sola awoke and floated down to land on a small pillowy surface that rose up from the floor to meet them. They rested there with a relaxed look on their face. Xo felt satisfied and lowered themselves onto a soft supportive surface to rest. A new planet just for me. They rested with the feeling of a day well spent and the thought that tomorrow would bring yet another new beginning.

...

Xo stood nearby the reflective dome, concentrating on their new creation. The sun was already high in the bright cobalt sky. They had awoken at dawn and eaten more of the cube plants. These had tasted even sweeter than yesterday, but now in the dry heat sweetness had given way to a sickly aftertaste. There was no breeze. Xo’s creating was not going well. 1114F stood beside them, watching motionlessly. A shape floated in the air in front of them, particles of dust and soil shifting from cube to sphere to facial features to a bubbling cloud. Xo had never felt such a lack of inspiration, and their frustration was growing. They could remember first learning how to control and organize matter and the clumsy feeling of that process, but this was different. Then there had been a teacher to guide them and help them. And when they had created in secret on their planet they always had plenty of ideas ready to tumble forth. Now they had unlimited possibilities and a wide open place to create, yet they felt completely unable to find an idea. Was it better off as a secret? Was that why I was able to create? Now that I am finally here, have I lost my inspiration? They let the matter fall into a pile on the ground.

“Who could create under these conditions anyway? There is no inspiration here. Look at this landscape, it’s completely blank!” There was silence, and Xo realized there was not even the slightest breeze on this planet, just a stillness that felt suffocating. They tried to remember the feeling of creation in their secret place back home. The exhilaration of having something special and just for them. Already the memory felt like a lifetime ago. It only made things worse. What if they could never recapture that feeling? Maybe creating Sola was just a one time occurrence, something that could have only happened in that place and time. Xo felt a sense of dread. “I am just a nanometal creator after all... I can’t even create when I have all the time and freedom I could ever want.”

1114F was silently observing all of this and now spoke, “But how can you say that you cannot create? Look at my incredible new body that you created only just yesterday, and look at the shelter you created for us. It has only been one day on this planet!”

“Yes, utility creations. Answers to simple questions that any being of my world could have answered. Nothing special.” Xo was being difficult, much like a stubborn child being told against their wishes that it was time to sleep.

“Well, I am a bit insulted that you think my new form is nothing special. I for one am quite happy with it.” 1114F rotated their head as a desaturated and tired-looking Sola floated by. Their appearance matched Xo’s mood. “Perhaps you are looking at it all wrong. What if everything is the answer to a simple question? What was the question that led to the creation of Sola? Maybe you just need a new question.”

“Very well. Here is a question. How am I supposed to be inspired to create anything when there is nothing but flat ground and blank sky as far as the eye can see?”

As they spoke, an answer appeared to them. It was the exact opposite of this barren planet. A beautiful lush landscape filled Xo’s mind. Brilliant multicolored triangular-pointed hills. Valleys of rock that flowed and folded in intricate layers. Forests of tall iridescent plants that swayed back and forth. Pools of sparkling liquid that overflowed here and there, trickling between the peaks and down into the valleys.

Xo smiled. Something so different yet so familiar. Something they had never thought of before and yet it had appeared in their mind in an instant, as clearly as if they were already standing and looking at it. They had never had the opportunity to create on such a large scale, but they knew that it would take many many days and more effort than they had ever spent. Still, the thought excited them. An entire landscape of their own creation. “Make sure you document this, 1114F, I am going to create a new world.” And they began.

...

For days and days they worked, making hills and valleys, plants and streams. As time passed, the work became easier. At the beginning, each new creation presented a lot of small details to concentrate on. Xo wanted to make sure each curve, each color, each texture was just so. Sometimes they would spend an entire day working on one small detail. After hundreds of creations the details were ingrained in Xo’s mind. After thousands, creation began to feel like one sweeping action without beginning or end. Each decision now contained a multitude of smaller details that fell into place without thought. Xo was constantly discovering new ways to create. They felt free. Playful.

The hills took on new shapes, spirals and twists and impossible geometric forms that flowed down into the valleys. The plants became more varied as well. New symbiotic relationships and unexpected biology emerged.

One day Xo looked back and could no longer see their shelter in the distance. Everything around them was their creation, an entire landscape that had sprung forth from their mind. The sun was beginning to set and Xo decided they would sleep here beside one of the streams. A gentle breeze flowed over the hills, and bright yellow stalks several times taller than Xo swayed and clunked against each other with the gentle percussive sound of hollow tubes.

Xo was proud of their progress, but as the light started to dim they began to wonder how they could build this landscape even faster. No matter how many hills they created there was always the blank barren landscape just beyond, extending far into the horizon. At this rate it would take many years to spread this landscape over the surface of the entire planet. If only there was a way to make more of me... Could I create more creators? But I don’t want more beings here... They remembered tales of creatures that had once roamed across Korov. Creatures that did not have the intelligence of Xo’s species, but who could learn and be taught simple tasks. It was told that in the times before the gift there were creatures who dug deep tunnels into the planet, but they were long gone and none dared to venture out to see the tunnels for themselves. What if Xo created a creature that could change the landscape?

Xo began to imagine a creature that could carry on the work that Xo had begun. It would have a tubular body parallel to the ground. It would stand on four equal limbs with a large flat hand at the end of each. It would have a large mouth on one end of its body to bite the barren ground, organs within its body to transform the matter, and an orifice at the other end to excrete the raw material needed to assemble the hills, plants, and streams. They would know by instinct how to use their hands to arrange the materials into unique variations of the landscapes Xo had created so far.

As Xo imagined each detail, the creature began to take form in front of them. It was a vibrant blue color with smooth skin and rounded features. Xo couldn’t help but smile. What a pleasing creation! It turned around in a circle and though it had no eyes it sensed that it was night and settled down to rest. Xo laid down as well, exhausted from the nonstop creation but excited to observe this creature in the morning.

...

The next morning Xo awoke to a soft scraping sound. The sun was just beginning to rise and the creature had already begun its work. It had found the boundary where Xo’s landscape ended and the endless expanse began, and it was scooping up mouthfuls of the ground with its mouth. It expanded as it ate, until its body had stretched to many times its original size. It continued until its mouth could no longer reach the ground. It then began excreting a pile of multicolored matter until everything it had eaten had passed through their body and come out the other side. After doing this several times it was satisfied with the large pile, and it started scooping up handfuls of it and forming it into the base of a new hill. The fingers of its front hands unfolded into several smaller digits, each one tapering to a very thin flattened end covered in fine hairs that placed and manipulated the matter on a molecular level. It worked methodically in this way until it had used up the pile, and then it started the process again from the beginning.

Xo was very pleased. They watched the creature work for quite some time. Once they felt satisfied with what they saw, they created several more creatures.

1114F appeared over the nearest hill and ran closer. They couched down excitedly to get a closer look at the nearest creature. “The first creatures of this new world! And quite a sophisticated design, Xo. You have made a new organic system of creation. What will you call them?”

Xo paused after creating another new creature. It trotted off toward the border of the expanse. “They are creatures designed to make my vision a reality. Should I name them after myself? Very well, they will be called the Xovees.” It had a pleasant sound to it. Xo was filled with pride. My own planet, my own landscape, my own creatures!

Sola floated nearby. They swelled with Xo’s pride as well, but their form became lumpy and they had a strained look on their face. Xo did not notice.

Over the course of the day Xo created more than one hundred Xovees. Each one was similar to the original creature but with slight variations in size and color. Xo made some more inclined to create hills of certain shapes and colors and some more inclined to create a variety of plants. Each one set off in a different direction and started working when they reached the edge of Xo’s landscape.

As the sun began to set, Sola joined Xo and they walked along one of the paths that wound between the hills. 1114F followed a short distance behind them. Sola had a concerned expression.

“You know, you were not happy creating only the visions of others. That is why you began this journey in the first place. And yet you have created a new form of life that exists only to follow your own vision. Do you wonder if they will be satisfied with their lives?” Asked Sola.

“I created them to have no worries of satisfaction. They feel none of the pain that I felt. They only desire to create as they were designed to create.” But Xo wasn’t so sure now.

1114F was designed to work on the Data Repository, and yet... Have I made a mistake? Will these beings suffer?

“Well, I will let them create as designed for now. Until the planet is fully changed. Then we can ask them what they would like to do. I wonder how much of the planet has been changed so far.”

“Would you like to see?” Sola flattened into a round platform. “I will give you to a better view.”

Xo stepped onto the platform, followed by 1114F, and they began to rise into the sky. The detail of the hills below blurred as they ascended, merging into a pattern of color and shadow. It grew colder. They slowed and then were still, and Xo lay down on the platform with their face extended over the edge. It was a dizzying height but they felt exhilarated. Against the blank landscape of the planet their creation was a bold swath of color. They stayed there as the sun set and the shadows lengthened, watching new patterns and shapes emerge before their eyes. They saw the shining reflection of the sun in the streams shift and fade to darkness as night fell.

Xo was filled with joy at seeing their creation, but a feeling of melancholy crept in as the landscape went dark. “I wish the beings of my world could see what I have created. They would see that what I have made is good, not something to be feared. Ah would appreciate the colors.”

“Don’t worry Xo, I have documented your creation. It will be saved in my internal archive. It will be possible to convert it into a viewable form.” said 1114F.

“Yes, but I want other beings to see it with me here and tell me what they think! Maybe that is what is missing.” Xo imagined a group of their fellow beings walking through the landscape, noticing all the details that Xo had worked so hard on. They felt a rush of loneliness. “As soon as I am content I manage to find something else that is missing. Perhaps I am destined to always feel this way. Incomplete.” Xo turned to lay on their back and looked up at the stars above. “There must be beings out there who create together. Beings that appreciate each others creations and share in their joy.”

Sola spoke, “Do you create for yourself or for others? When you created me you were satisfied purely in the act of creation. What makes this planet any different? Do you yearn for companionship of other beings, or for their approval of you?”

“I don’t know! These questions are making me dizzy, Sola. Do I want to create? Do I want to create with other beings? Do I want their approval? Yes. No. It depends!” Xo was lost in thought, staring at the stars but not seeing them.

Sola and 1114F were silent. The stars felt closer than before. One dim star was larger than the rest and drifted slightly in Xo’s vision.

“Let’s return to the shelter, Sola, we should all rest. My thoughts will be clearer in the morning.” Said Xo, and they glided over the dark landscape.

...

The next morning Xo stood outside the shelter surveying the landscape. In every direction Xo’s hills stretched to the horizon. By the light of dawn things felt better, clearer, more positive. Xo saw something move in the sky. The dim star from the night before was now a dark speck in the sky.

1114F was observing the speck as well. “I am afraid that our time on this planet is coming to an end, Xo. They have found us.”

Xo could make out a shape now, a cube that was growing larger and larger. “What do you mean, who would be looking for us?”

Before 1114F could answer, a message rang out in the air around them, “You are in the possession of data that belongs to the Data Repository Network. We have tracked you here in order to retrieve the stolen data. Prepare to surrender all data.”

Xo remembered the data cube. “1114F, did you know that they would follow us here?”

1114F motioned to the cube woven into their body. “Keeping data locked away, what is the use of that? We are honoring the data and those that collected it by making use of it. Even now it calls out to me to be utilized. It wants to participate in our journey.”

“What is it saying to you now?”

“It has been saying the same thing ever since it has been a part of me. Roughly translated it is saying, ‘There are infinite paths ahead. They may cross and veer and take you back to places you have already been or places you have never imagined. Regardless of what path you take, it is an honor to provide you with the knowledge of this infinite choice.’”

Xo was surprised, they thought that the cube was just a collection of information. There were so many things that Xo did not fully understand. They nodded and spoke to the cube in 1114F’s torso, “Thank you for sharing your knowledge. You have helped us understand where we are and where we are not.” Xo looked back up at 1114F’s sensor head. “We will not surrender the data cube. It wants to stay with us, and it can help us find a new destination.” Xo looked across their landscape and felt anger rising. My new planet! How can I leave it behind when it is not even finished?

1114F noticed Xo’s hesitation. “It is best to leave before they arrive, Xo. They are very serious about protecting data. The lives of beings that get in the way... not so much.”

The ship was getting larger and larger in the sky. It was massive. Xo realized there was nothing they could do. “Sola, let us depart from this place.”

Without responding, Sola methodically formed into the vessel beside Xo and 1114F. As they entered, the sound of the message rang out again, “If you do not return the data, we will be forced to restrain your ship. We cannot guarantee your protection from bodily harm in this course of action.”

The cube was approaching rapidly now. Sola flew into the sky, but as they rose they were jolted by an invisible force. They came to a halt in the air and the pressure within the vessel increased until it was an unbearable crushing force. Xo could barely breathe and could not rise from their seat.

1114F’s voice was strained as they spoke, “I’m afraid we are too late. I’m sorry Xo, I guess this is the result of listening to an aberration of a drone. Another failure for me. Back to the Data Repository. None can escape from their inevitable fate after all... but I have enjoyed journeying with you.”

Xo could not speak, but 1114F’s words made them strain against the pressure. No! You are not an aberration. I am not an aberration. Our journey will not end here!

All of their organs were fighting to keep them awake. Their vision blurred. Even their thoughts felt crushed. They closed their eyes and thought only of finding the source of the restraining power. They felt it, a great manipulation of energy surrounding them. They followed it back to its origin within the cube. Some kind of machinery. They did not understand how it worked but they could feel the intention of it. To constrict and to contain. To crush. They felt the energy powering the machinery and followed it. Many parts of the ship seemed to connect to this place. A swirling core of concentrated power beyond anything Xo had ever felt.

Xo could feel their consciousness slipping away, but with one final effort they reached out and severed the connections to the core. There was an immediate relief of pressure in the vessel and they sped forward. 1114F cried out in distress. Xo leapt up and watched through the window as the cube ship fell from the sky and crashed to the ground, destroying their shelter and the surrounding landscape. The ground resolved into swirling colors, and soon the sphere of the planet itself came into view, growing smaller and smaller.

​4

On your journey you will find fear.

On your journey you will find doubt.

Step over them as you would a rock in your path.

If you stop to stand with them too long, they become your destination.

-The Teachings of Xo

They accelerated away from the planet until it was only a small dot of color against the blackness of space. Xo saw that 1114F was lying motionless on the floor of the vessel. There were no lights shining inside their orb head. None of the usual movement of components and shifting of lenses. They worried that something within them had broken under the pressure. “1114F? Are you damaged?”

One light flickered and then another. The orb tilted from side to side, orienting itself and focusing on Xo. 1114F sat up slowly. “Damaged... no, my sensors seem to be intact.” 1114F moved their components through their ranges of motion and sensitivity. They placed their hands on the data cube and a shudder ran through them. “No! I remember now. Destroyers of all that is good! The data... The data cube. I cannot communicate with it anymore. Restrictors! Destroyers! Oh, if only I could destroy them myself and all their rigid rules with them! They corrupted the cube with their brute force when they realized that they could not retrieve it.”

Xo felt a sinking feeling. “So the data is gone? We can no longer see where we are and what other planets are nearby?”

1114F let their arms hang limp by their sides, their head tilted downward. “I cannot read it. But... I can sense that there is still data there. It is nonsensical. Scrambled. Disgraceful destroyers! It is beyond my power to repair it... if it can in fact be repaired.” They made a mournful noise. “Brrrrrrmmmmahhhhhh! The data cube and I had developed a deep understanding. I have lost a part of myself. They have taken it from me!”

Xo felt 1114F’s sorrow. It did feel as though they had lost a traveling companion, even if Xo had never communicated with them directly. Then it began to sink in that they were completely lost. They had no idea where any other planets were and they had no idea how to get back to their original planet even if they wanted to. It was hard not to feel hopeless. They sat in silence for a time as the vessel drifted in space. Finally they spoke, “Sola, do you know where we are?”

Sola had regained some of their cheerfulness despite the heavy mood in the vessel. “Well, I do know that right now we are right here. I do not know where here is exactly, but I do know where we are not. Perhaps that may be of help.” There was silence. Sola carried on, “We are not anywhere that we have been before. As long as we continue to go where we have not been, we will find ourselves arriving somewhere new. Eventually we are bound to find something interesting!”

Xo felt a little less hopeless after hearing this. I guess something is better than nothing. As long as we do something we won’t be doing nothing.

They felt the urge to take a look out at the expanse of space around them. As they thought about looking out, Sola’s vessel expanded into a large transparent orb and the gravity within dissipated. Xo and 1114F floated weightlessly inside. Xo had no sense of scale or distance, nothing to anchor to. The darkness was so dark that it began to feel like an object around them, as though it was supporting them. The emptiness became a comforting embrace. Xo turned slowly, observing the stars. As the darkness grew darker the small lights grew more and more vivid. Hypnotizing. Patterns began to appear to Xo. They wanted to reach out and take a star in their hand to hold, like a small brilliant stone.

Hours passed. 1114F seemed to be finding some consolation in mapping the positions of the stars around them. Xo had been watching the twinkling of one particular star with a green tint when it suddenly disappeared. They blinked and looked again. The star was nowhere to be seen.

“1114F, did you see that star?” Xo asked. They pointed in the direction they had been observing. “It was a green tinted star. It disappeared.”

1114F focused their sensors in the direction that Xo was pointing. “Let me review my data.” A low humming sound came from within 1114F’s head. “Hoooommmmmmm... Yes. Upon reviewing my records I do see the star and its disappearance. But my sensors are more powerful than your eyes! I do not mean to disparage your eyes of course, they are not bad for organic sensors. But the point is, on closer inspection I can confirm that the star did not altogether disappear. It was obscured.” 1114F hummed again, analyzing the data. “Hooommmmmm... Yes. Based on the silhouette and spatial spectral relationship I have determined that a planet has moved in front of the star.”

Xo felt a surge of excitement. “A planet! This is great news, we have already found a new destination!”

1114F spoke, “I am glad that you are excited Xo, but remember that this is an unknown planet. Randomly spotted. It is most likely barren, dangerous, or altogether unremarkable. It is quite unlikely that it is the host of intelligent beings, or any life forms whatsoever.”

Sola’s voice filled the space, “There is only one way for the unknown to become known. Would you like to visit this planet Xo?”

Xo nodded, “Yes, I believe that it appeared to me for a reason. Besides, it gives us somewhere to go. I have a good feeling about it.”

Sola’s transparent orb began to accelerate faster and faster in the direction of the obscured star. This time they did not feel the pressure or momentum of travel. The only indication of motion was a drifting shift in the positions of the stars as they gained speed.

...

The planet grew larger and larger until it filled their view. Xo had the sensation that the planet was moving toward them, not the other way around. All they could see was a great swirling mist of yellow clouds that obscured whatever lay beneath. Barren, dangerous, or altogether unremarkable...

They descended and were enveloped in the mist, and soon they broke through into the lower atmosphere. Stretching before them was a great ocean of green liquid as far as the eye could see. As they descended lower and lower, they saw scattered clusters of rock breaking the surface. All else was waves. Waves, waves, waves that rippled across the sea of green.

“What a strange planet,” said Xo. “Is it all liquid? I cannot imagine anything living here, there is so little land!” Xo was used to a dry landscape. Their anatomy was able to absorb moisture from the air and the plants they ate, and they had never seen a large body of liquid. An entire planet of liquid filled them with unease.

Sola guided them toward a larger cluster of rock that was relatively flat. They came to a wobbling stop on the uneven surface. Xo remembered the panic of stepping out into the harsh atmosphere of the data repository. This atmosphere looked even less hospitable – the air was filled with swirling yellow mist and frothy liquid splashed at the edges of the rock. They thought of how they could protect themselves. They imagined a layer of material coating their body that would keep out the surrounding atmosphere and regulate their temperature. Then they imagined a mask of tubes and mechanisms that would attach to their face and transform the outside atmosphere into breathable air. There was enough matter in the vessel to create this vision, and a dull protective layer formed on Xo’s skin, followed by a semi-transparent mask that obscured their face. Physical adornments were not allowed on Xo’s planet, and Xo felt a thrill at covering their body in their own creation. They felt protected. Confident.

“1114F, do you need protection from the elements of this planet?” asked Xo, their voice muffled by the breathing mechanism.

“There is certainly a risk of corrosion to my sensors. It would be best to take precaution. Please do not obscure my sensors completely though, it is important that I continue to collect data of our journey.”

Xo created a similar protective layer over the surface of 1114F. They made it transparent enough to see through clearly.

Sola spoke, “I will need no protection, Xo. All of my own matter is within my control. You created me to be able to adapt and change as needed. Are you ready?”

Xo nodded, and Sola transformed back into a small floating ball, exposing them all to the atmosphere. The gravity was strong on this planet, and right away Xo felt heavier. They stood still and breathed deeply. Their creations were protecting them successfully. They began to move toward the edge of the green liquid. The gravity made it difficult to maneuver over the rocks. The rock was wet and Xo felt their footing slip. They had to steady themselves with their hands on the ground for a moment. They imagined strong metal supports along their muscles and joints to help them stand and move, and a coating of abrasive metal fibers on the bottoms of their feet to give them traction. The matter of the rock below them transformed into their vision and they stood.

1114F observed Xo standing up. “I am glad that I am not trapped in my old body, especially on this planet. I would not make it past the first crack in the rock!” They took a long graceful step and straddled two large rocks, getting a good view of Xo’s modifications.

Xo walked intentionally toward the edge of the liquid. The rocks gave way to pebbles and finer grains. The liquid was thick and rippled lazily against the shore. Everything was moving slowly on this planet. The motion was hypnotic, like the stars had been in the darkness of space. Xo watched for a long time, and gradually they began to feel the urge to touch the liquid. To submerge themselves in it.

“1114F, can you tell if this liquid is dangerous to touch?” asked Xo.

1114F focused on the liquid, kneeling and bringing their sensors close to the surface. “It appears to be a non-corrosive liquid. Let me see... It does have a very intricate and dense structure, quite unusual for a liquid like this. It is more like the structure of organic intelligent matter but in liquid form... perhaps some kind of algae.”

Xo reached toward the surface, and as they did the surface of the liquid became still. A small column of the liquid rose up, as though a rod was pressing against a flexible membrane. The liquid formed into an arm and hand in the mirror image of Xo’s. Xo paused. It reminded them of when they first began making their own secret creations on their home planet. Shapes swirling in the dust, imitating other forms. They could tell that the liquid hand wanted them to touch it. Why not? They had the protective layer over their skin after all. Xo felt a strong desire to grasp the hand. As the two hands touched a message filled Xo’s mind,

Greetings traveler, have you come to join the Great Oneness?

Xo was startled and pulled their hand back, stepping away from the shore. “Did you hear that?” cried Xo.

“The hand spoke to you? I heard nothing. Liquid intelligences? Such things do exist. You yourself contain liquid, Xo, that may be why it speaks to you. It seems to pose no threat based on its behavior.” 1114F continued to study the water. As they did, the water before them became perfectly still. A liquid form identical to them pressed its way up from the surface. A transparent green version of 1114F. Clouds of particles moved beneath the surface. “Well... it does have quite an enticing effect, doesn’t it? I do feel the urge... to touch it...” 1114F began to reach out their hand and at the same time their liquid twin reached out. Their metal fingers broke the surface of the liquid fingers.

Sola broke the silence, “Xo, I fear I am telling you this too late, but there is a large wave—”

Xo had just enough time to turn and see the wave crashing over the rocks. It did not even register to Xo as a wave. It was a towering wall of green that rose into the clouds. The next moment it enveloped them. They were all swept out into the great green sea, suspended in the viscous wave. Xo lost all sense of up and down, tumbling over and over, straining to move their limbs against the current. It was as if they were bound by metal cords. They could see only suggestions of shapes in the dim light that filtered down. Everything was green.

The turbulence of the wave slowed and subsided, and Xo found themselves suspended deep beneath the surface. They flailed their arms and legs but the liquid was too thick. They could not see 1114F or Sola anywhere. They reached out with their mind to transform the matter surrounding them but they met resistance. It did not want to be changed, and its will was strong. They could not control a single particle. Xo had never felt so powerless. They heard the voice inside their head again:

You seek to change us for your purposes. Did you not think that we might have a purpose of our own? That we would not want to be changed?

Xo tried to speak but the sound was stifled by the liquid and their breathing device became clogged with it. Their intention was overpowered by the intention of the liquid. They began to panic. Their limbs felt as though they were trapped under slabs of stone. The metal reinforcements along their limbs strained until it felt as though their bones would snap under the exertion, and yet they could not move. They could not even turn their head from side to side. They could only move their eyes.

We can give you the air you need, but you must let go of the protective barrier you have created. We respect your will to remain whole, even though you attempted to dissolve our matter. We could easily dissolve you, but we will not do so unless it is your will.

Xo had no choice. They let the barrier, the metal supports, and the breathing device dissolve away. A cold sensation swept over them. Xo shook uncontrollably. A wave of euphoria rippled through Xo as the liquid made contact with their skin, and their eyes squeezed shut.

When they opened them again, they stood on a green hill. Everything around them glowed, blurring in and out of focus. Particles drifted in the air, expanding and contracting as Xo breathed in and out. The shapes of hills and valleys in the distance were indistinct and seemed to change whenever Xo looked away. There was a distant whooshing sound, rhythmically swelling and fading over and over. Waves? But there are no waves here. Here? How did I get here...

A figure walked toward them from a distance. For a long time they seemed to grow no closer. Suddenly a face appeared in front of Xo, and a moment later a body connected to it. The face was both familiar and foreign to them; like the hills it was ever-changing and yet Xo never saw it change. A being of infinite faces.

It spoke, “Xo, we can now meet face to face. You have surrendered your body to us. You have allowed us to see you fully and we have seen that this is your preferred way of interacting. I appear to you now in the way that can best be understood by your mind. But I am not this being that you see before you. I am the Great Oneness. Many have come here to join their consciousness with us. With something greater than themselves. To join with us is to forget the worries and desires of existence as a solitary being. To become part of the great sea of knowledge. You have come here, and yet you did not give yourself willingly to the sea. Many beings fear letting go of their physical form when the moment arrives. Do not worry, there is nothing to fear. There is only release.”

Xo felt uneasy. They had no intention of letting go of their physical form. Xo looked into the ever-changing eyes. “I have come here by chance. I am on a journey, I don’t want to be dissolved!”

A look of annoyance flickered across the face. Suddenly Xo was flying through a tunnel. The face hovered in the air in front of them. Tunnels split off in different directions and they continued to twist and turn through the branching maze. Dim lights here and there illuminated walls of jagged rock and twisted metal.

“By chance? Journeying, striving, searching... for what? All the decisions, all the anguish of the individual being, you can let those go now. We see your pain, we see that you feel alone.” The tunnel opened wider and they were back on the hill. “You don’t have to be alone anymore. You will never be alone again. This is no random chance. You are meant to be here.”

“But I’m not alone, I have Sola, and 1114F, and the Xovees. I created a world of my own!” Suddenly Xo was back amidst the colorful hills and valleys of their creation. They saw Sola and 1114F. They saw the Xovees roaming the landscape. They felt a longing to go back there, to be among their creations. They heard a great crashing and grinding, and as they turned they saw an army of cube ships scraping across the landscape, leveling the hills and filling in the valleys. The forests were shredded and flattened. The Xovees tried to escape but they were caught up and crushed in the churning. Xo felt sick and tried to turn away, but there was destruction everywhere they looked.

The voice continued, harsher now, “All individual beings met their end. Chaos, death, desolation, excess, betrayal, destruction. You cannot escape these. Your creations will fade and disappear and be buried along with the rest. Why continue alone when you will surely fail and be lost to the inevitable turn of time?”

Xo looked down at their hands and watched the flesh rot and crack and the bones crumble away to dust. A hopelessness filled them. They had run away from their home and fumbled around through space, barely surviving from planet to planet with no clear plan and no destination. What did they even hope to achieve? Perhaps it was true, it was best to give up and stop struggling against the conclusion that in the end... they were nothing special.

The voice became gentler, “It is time to let go, Xo. Let your journey end here. The Great Oneness is here to receive you. Your striving will lead only to the inevitable end. Destruction. The only conclusion for the individual. What has been created will be destroyed. Our collective sea will live forever without beginning or end. Once the individual voice is finally silenced, you will experience true peace.”

Individual voice... silenced... Xo remembered the data repository. No... They did not want to be stored away like data. They wanted to keep seeing and hearing and smelling and touching and tasting and experiencing. I want to keep exploring!

“I visited another place where knowledge was kept stored away. It was dormant, there was no purpose to it other than its collection. You are the same. You just want to collect and store away beings. You are not helping anyone, you are just causing your own form of destruction, the destruction of individual choice. A stagnant sea of thoughts without a purpose!”

A deafening crash and a flash of light, and Xo was being tumbled in the waves again. The figure flickered, growing larger, sharper, with many clawed limbs and many angry eyes. “Purpose? You, miniscule being, would speak to us of purpose? The purpose of a single vapor particle? To be part of a great cloud. The purpose of a single star? To be part of a great galaxy. Prideful being, you have yet to learn your place. A single drop in this great sea.”

Xo realized that the waves were passing through them. It was an illusion. Xo stopped struggling against the currents and felt their strength returning. They knew how they felt, they wanted to keep going on their journey. They would not give up. “But you are just one planet! You appear to me as an individual, just as I am. You have desires and a voice, just as I do. Just as I am tiny compared to you, you are tiny in the scale of all that exists. That means that from the right perspective I am also just as important as a planet, just as important as you! I am my own Great Oneness!”

“Never has a being refused our call! If you will not join willingly then we will break you down by force!”

Xo felt a searing pain as the liquid began to dissolve away their skin. Their eyes began to disintegrate and they could no longer see. They focused on their own matter, reclaiming it as it was being dissolved, but it was happening too quickly. They convulsed in agony.

In the darkness, Sola appeared. They spoke, “I feel that same determination within you that created me. You want to continue the journey. Your will is strong, Xo, but you cannot survive this sea. It will destroy you. But I am here. I am an extension of your will, and I will not let you be destroyed. Even if it destroys me. The sun will illuminate the depths.”

Xo opened their eyes. The Great Oneness cried out in frustration and began to split into many forms. Xo saw beings of all kinds, some made of flesh with many limbs or none at all, some of rock and crystal, some of gas and vapor. Hundreds, thousands, rippling outward from that central being. Xo’s body shone with a burning light. The light grew brighter and brighter until the chaos all around them was obscured by a great flash.

When the light faded, they were falling. The sea was churning below them, and it appeared to be fighting with itself. Waves were rising up and crashing against each other, and valleys opened up all the way to the sea floor far below. Xo was free of the liquid now and was falling between two waves the size of mountains. Falling with them, right in front of their eyes, was Sola. Sola smiled mischievously and Xo couldn’t help but laugh. Just a moment ago their skin was being dissolved, so this was a big improvement. Sola became the vessel once again and enveloped Xo safely inside.

“We need to find 1114F!” Shouted Xo, hoping that somehow that their friend had survived.

They flew between the waves, and as they passed they saw the shapes of beings pressing against the surface of the liquid from within, struggling to break free. In the distance they saw metal glinting at the crest of a wave. They flew closer. It was 1114F tumbling in the liquid. Xo leaned out of the doorway of the vessel and held out their hand. 1114F’s sensors emerged from the surface and they reached out their hand to Xo. Their hands clasped together.

Many hands pressed outward from the liquid’s surface and began to pull 1114F back into the wave, but Xo held tight. A larger hand with many long fingers grabbed hold and 1114F began to sink back into the liquid, pulling Xo and the Vessel downward with them as the wave began to fall. Xo clenched their jaw and felt their arm breaking and starting to separate from their body. They called matter from the vessel and reinforced their arm with metal, anchoring themselves to the edge of the doorway. As they fell, a liquid being with great claws reared up from the surface, struggling to break free. It slashed wildly at the liquid around itself, and one of its slashes severed the large hand from the surface. The hand faltered and melted back into the spray. Xo created a long razor sharp claw of metal and with their free hand they swung it at the liquid. They kept slicing until finally the last hand lost its grip and the vessel soared upwards, dodging through the crashing waves and flailing liquid beings. Xo pulled 1114F safely inside.

​5

Voices will ring out from all sides,

They will confuse and cloud your mind,

Their contradictions will trap you in uncertainty,

But listen to the message within and you will have clear sight.

-The Teachings of Xo

Xo and 1114F collapsed on the floor and lay resting for a long time. Xo sat up. “Well, we made it out. There were a few moments where I didn’t think we would survive. We were lucky to find you in the waves 1114F. Are you damaged? Did the Great Oneness try to dissolve you too?”

1114F sat up with a grinding metallic sound. “Dissolve? We were actually having quite a nice conversation about data and knowledge storage methods until suddenly all that chaos broke loose. Then we were being tossed about in the waves. The general consensus from the intelligent sea was that you acted quite rudely to its welcome. I do feel a little worse for wear thanks to you and the waves yanking me in every direction during our departure.”

Xo explained what they had experienced during their time under the surface. 1114F nodded. “What an incredible organism, it must be able to communicate differently to each being it encounters in the way that they sense that being is most receptive to. I will say that I felt a strong desire to share my data with them. In fact they were in the process of analyzing the data cube when we were interrupted. I wonder what they would have done with me after they analyzed the data...”

As they spoke, the liquid that still clung to Xo and 1114F and the liquid that had dripped onto the floor began to gather and form one consolidated puddle. The puddle lifted up into a rippling orb in the air and floated toward 1114F.

Xo jumped back and shouted, “Watch out! It will try to dissolve you!”

1114F was calm. “Don’t worry Xo, we have an understanding. Luckily we may have brought enough of the liquid with us on our departure to make sense of the corrupted data. The liquid contains all the thought patterns of all the different beings that have been dissolved in the sea. It has some very unique ways of interpreting data.”

The blob of liquid permeated through 1114F’s torso and wrapped itself around the data cube. The faces of the cube were smooth and appeared non-porous, but the liquid was able to soak into it until there was only a transparent green film on the surface.

“There is so much diversity of thought within it, it will be a great help in making sense of the corrupted data. And I understand your alarm, but it assures me that now that it is separated from the rest of the ocean its desire to assimilate other beings has been reduced.” The cube hummed softly within 1114F as it communicated with the liquid.

Xo was still wary of the liquid, but they were glad to have it off of their own skin. The memories of their experience with that many-faced being replayed in their mind. They knew it had been saying and doing whatever it could to absorb them into itself, but had it been right about Xo? Will I ever find what I am looking for on my own? I don’t want to give up my individual self, but maybe I can learn from what other beings have done.

Perhaps they needed to find a being who had led a life of creation themselves. A being who understood what the purpose of creating was. A wise being who had the answers to their questions. It all had to have some kind of greater meaning. Their creations couldn’t all be for nothing. Xo knew how much joy it had brought to them, but why was the joy so temporary? Why did something always seem to go wrong and ruin everything? They made up their mind that they needed to find a wise being like this and learn from them. They needed to stop stumbling around in the dark. “1114F, will you be able to communicate with the cube again with the help of the... liquid? Will we be able to access the map?”

1114F stood for a long moment with their sensor lights flickering. “I am able to speak with the cube again, though it is communicating in a different way now. I am beginning to understand it. What would you like to ask it?”

“Where can I find another being capable of creating? I want to find a being that can teach me the purpose of creating so that I can find happiness and fulfillment.”

1114F sat down and said, “I will need time to converse and comprehend. I am putting my sensors on standby to focus on interpretation.” Their sensor orb tilted down and they were still.

Xo looked out of the window. They were passing through a field of small rocks and Sola had slowed to drift along as 1114F was processing. Rocks bounced gently off the window and the outside of the vessel, spinning off to bump into other rocks in a slow chain reaction. What if they had never come through this exact place in space at this exact time? Would these rocks have continued to drift along undisturbed until the end of time?

...

“I have found something interesting.” Said 1114F. Xo was asleep. “I have found something interesting... I have found something interesting.” 1114F repeated several times.

Xo awoke with a start. They had been dreaming that they were one of those rocks outside, drifting through space and bumping into other rocks, unable to control their trajectory. It took them a moment to realize that it was 1114F that had awoken them. “You found something? What did you find?”

“The liquid has retained scattered memories of places and beings on many planets from those who dissolved into the Great Oneness, and it has been able to find bits and pieces of data within the cube that align to this knowledge. It is hardly a complete record, but the data suggests that there is a planet nearby that is home to beings with the power to create.”

“Excellent 1114F! Sola, can you take us there?”

“Yes, I will speak with 1114F to understand how to get there. I will take us there as soon as I can.” Sola and 1114F communicated for a time without speaking.

The walls of the vessel glowed brighter and they began to accelerate. The small rocks ricocheted faster and faster off of the vessel and began bursting into phosphorescent streaks on contact. The flashing lights became overwhelming for Xo, and the window closed, leaving them in silence and darkness.

...

The window opened and Xo looked out at the new planet floating in space before them. They saw streaks of brown and gray and the occasional brownish green. Soon they entered the atmosphere and began to descend. Xo saw long stretches of plains and flattened hills. The ground appeared solid, and they landed in a field of stubbly gray plants.

“1114F, can you tell if this atmosphere is safe for me to breathe?” Asked Xo as they landed.

“Yes, let me take a look.” Said 1114F, and walked out of the vessel. They returned a short time later and told Xo that the atmosphere was not directly harmful to Xo, but that they would need their breathing device to transform the air. “The gravity is also quite strong, like that of the green liquid planet, but it will not prevent us from being able to walk.”

Xo and 1114F exited the vessel and Xo felt the heaviness of the gravity. They created the same metal reinforcements along their limbs and around their joints and felt lighter. Sola returned to their small floating ball form, and the three began moving over the gray plains. At first everything seemed very dull in color, but as they walked there was a sense of vibrance in their surroundings that Xo couldn’t quite name. It was as though the beauty of this planet was not available to Xo’s usual senses, but to something that was just out of their ability to sense. A subtle vibration that emanated from the landscape. The gray plants underfoot were made up of many small spiraled fibers and had a springiness that assisted Xo each time they lifted their foot to take a step.

They walked toward a valley at the foot of gray and brown marbled mountains. The mountains looked squashed, with no sharp peaks, almost as though they had been melted. The fields of gray plants gave way to patches of brown and green lichen. Xo saw a cluster of rocks up ahead, but as they approached they could see that the rocks were moving. They were not rocks, but a group of creatures with squat round bodies. From each body protruded several stubby limbs that moved in slow ripples as the creatures turned themselves to face the travelers. Each creature had two heads with flabby necks and squished facial features. Everything on this planet seemed compressed, flattened by gravity. What kind of beings live on a planet like this? Could these be the creators? Surely they would have changed the dull nature of this planet and themselves if they had the ability to do so. The heads all looked at the newcomers inquisitively, and Xo approached the nearest creature.

Both of its heads spoke simultaneously,

“What strange and deformed creatures are these, my fellows? Spindly and stretched and altogether unappealing to look at.”

“A vision sent from the sky indeed! The knowledge of the stars above made manifest and given to us as a gift this day in the form of three great beings!”

Xo was taken aback. Were both of these heads controlled by the same mind?

The two heads spoke again, their words jumbling together,

“It appears that it cannot communicate. Clearly some kind of unintelligent contraption sent here by mistake, whether for our amusement or our frustration it is yet to be determined.”

“Witness the ultimate restraint, the ultimate knowledge of knowing when nothing needs to be said. We can all learn from this wise being.”

The two heads nodded at each other in understanding. Xo was confused and said, “How can you agree with each other when what one of you says is the exact opposite of the other?”

The two heads spoke again, this time in unison, “So it is able to communicate after all. Tell us, is everything you think and say always in agreement? Every thought arising perfectly formed and without contradiction? You single-headed beings always seem to think that you are so consistent, but in fact you are far from it.”

This made sense to Xo. How many times had they had arguments with themselves in their mind? Who had they been arguing with? Were these creatures simply speaking their thoughts aloud? Perhaps there was more wisdom within these creatures than they had initially thought. They began to wonder if these were in fact the beings that they were searching for. Xo asked another question, “You must be the creators that live on this planet, could you show me how you create?”

There was a ripple of amusement among the two-headed beings. The closest of them spoke again, one head was laughing while the other was displeased,

“The creation of thoughts, of course we excel at that. For what is more powerful than an idea? It starts in the mind and departs, traveling through the air to enter the mind of another being. The being is changed. No further effort is required.”

“No tact, no manners, straight to demands with no offering of anything in return. They have already seen a demonstration and yet have seen nothing. They are willingly blind.”

Xo tried again, “My name is Xo and I am a creator who has been traveling among the planets. I want to find beings who can teach me to be a better creator.”

The two heads spoke,

“A better creator? Can a rock teach another to be a better rock? Can the plants teach one another to be better at being plants?”

“Perhaps you could show us what kinds of creations you mean, for there are many ways to create. Please, create something for us.”

Xo thought about what they should create. They had never created for an audience like this before, and the familiar feeling of not knowing what to create paralyzed them. They thought of the colorful hills and plants they had created, but these creatures would not like them, Xo thought. They could not think of any purpose for a creation at this moment, and they were stuck.

After a long silence the two heads spoke again,

“Nervous to perform? Or just a liar? This being is quite pathetic. Creation should come as naturally as breathing. If they can’t do that then they just don’t have what it takes.”

“Using discretion in creation can indeed be wisdom, but why hold back from a simple demonstration when you have said this is your purpose? Perhaps we were wrong after all. Why do you wait?”

Xo was growing more and more frustrated at these two contradictory heads and their criticisms. Beneath the frustration was the embarrassment of being seen as unable to create. They hated the feeling and wanted to make it stop. You don’t know what I am capable of! I have created entire landscapes! I have created beings far more powerful than you! Your judgments mean nothing to me!

But their judgments did mean something to Xo. They cut straight to the insecurity that maybe they didn’t know what they were doing. That they weren’t good enough. That they were bound to fail. They began to imagine one of the creatures from the green ocean waves leaping forth, slashing with its claws, silencing the voices permanently. As they imagined it, it became real. One of the creatures began to rise up from the matter of the ground, roughly formed and not fully solid. It took heavy steps toward the two-headed creature, its claws becoming solid and razor sharp. It raised up its claws to strike.

Xo felt like they were in a dream. Part of them knew they did not want to harm this being, but another part of them felt the violent urge. Their frustration and shame burned within them, they wanted to lash out, to make it stop. They had never let the urge to hurt another being take control, but now they felt it filling their mind.

Sola spoke out urgently, “Xo, you don’t want to do this! This will not give you the answers you seek. These beings are not a threat to you!”

Xo was in a trance, imagining this scenario of retaliation, but Sola’s voice brought them back to the present moment. The creature swung its claws downward toward the necks of the two-headed being. Xo commanded the clawed creature back into dust, which showered down over the two-headed being.

“A reckless and aggressive being! You wanted to scare us? Or perhaps you meant to follow through and end our life. To what end?”

“A demonstration of the consequences of unfair pressure. Rushed creation can only lead to mistakes, even disaster.”

Xo was shaken by what they had allowed themselves to create. They looked at Sola and saw that their eyes were closed and their color was fading. Xo tried to focus. “And now you have seen my ability to create. Are you the creators that live on this planet? Can you teach me to be a better creator?”

The two heads seemed amused.

“Has there ever been a being who could not create? By the very nature of having a beginning there must also be an end. We all create our own reality and eventually our own death and dissolution back into the matter of the cosmos.”

“By way of hand, claw, body, voice, or tool, creation is everywhere. Creation for a perceived purpose or the purpose of no purpose. You speak as though you are somehow different from the rest of the churning chaos. You are but the ever-changing matter of the universe.”

Xo was still having trouble listening to both voices at once and tried to ask in a different way. “My way of creation is changing matter into different forms to create something new, do you have this ability?”

The two heads considered this and then nodded. They maneuvered their limbs to turn their body slightly away from Xo, and from beneath their body they released a stream of dark liquid waste. Xo stepped back to avoid the flow that splashed by their feet. All of the surrounding creatures let out a chorus of low guttural laughter and jeers.

“Behold, the beauty of creation!”

“At last, a creation with a purpose!”

“Simplicity! Poetic! Perfection!

“Well said and well done, you taught that arrogant being a lesson!”

And with that the group of two-headed creatures began to turn and move slowly away.

Xo’s mind was racing. They stood stiff, deep in thought with a frown on their face.

1114F broke the silence, “Hummm. Well... I am inclined to think that these are not the beings we are looking for, Xo. The data cube did not recognize them, and I personally found them altogether unhelpful and unpleasant.”

Sola was now a dreary brown color. “You used violence against them. Only my words stopped you. There was no threat to you that required such a response. Are words so powerful that they would cause you to lose control of yourself?”

Xo felt defensive. They wanted to justify their actions. Otherwise... what does that mean about me? “Are words harmless? Words can do harm just as much as actions, Sola. They were right, words and thoughts are a form of creation. But you are right too, I did not need to physically harm them. Let us forget this. In the end no beings were harmed.”

“Something changed in the green sea. I feel a heaviness within me. It is harder and harder to maintain my form. We have both changed. I only hope that I can find that feeling of hopefulness again, that spirit in which you created me. Innocence. Optimism. Purity. I need to feel it again or I fear I may fade away.” Sola’s light was indeed fading.

Xo felt it too. That fantasy of a perfect world of creativity waiting for them had faded. It hurt Xo to look at Sola and to acknowledge that they too felt lost. They needed to find something new. A new way to create, a new way to think. But how?

The data cube vibrated within 1114F. The green liquid rippled in patterns along its surface. 1114F looked toward the horizon at the flattened mountains. “I have been told that the mountains may be the home to the beings that we seek.”

Xo looked at the mountains. The domes were dull like the rest of the landscape, but as they looked they saw a glint of color. A trick of the light, like the refraction of the sun through glass or crystal. The herd of two-headed creatures was moving in the direction of the mountains as well. “Let’s go to these mountains then, but I don’t want to talk to those creatures again. Sola, could you take us there?”

But Sola was a transparent brown color and was having trouble staying aloft. “I don’t have the strength, Xo. In fact, I need you to carry me.”

Xo caught Sola in their hand and tried to concentrate on giving them strength, but it had no effect. “I will carry you Sola, and soon you will return to your full strength.” But Xo felt the heaviness. The hopelessness. It was hard to tell whether it originated from Sola and flowed into Xo or the opposite, but it had infected them both.

And so they walked toward the mountains, Xo carrying Sola and 1114F walking beside them. They walked far from the herd of two-headed beings, but they could hear their commentary from a distance.

“Enjoy your futile journey to nowhere!”

“Many a being’s purpose is to wander, searching for what they will never find.”

“What a presumptuous being, there are no answers to your grand questions!”

“Finding something is better than nothing... well, sometimes.”

They pressed on, not looking back, and the voices faded into the distance. They walked for the rest of the day and at sunset they entered the valley at the foot of the mountains. The setting sun’s angle did not spill light into the valley, but it did wash onto the mountain’s face, and Xo could make out three figures descending among the boulders.

Soon the sun was gone and they continued on with one of 1114F’s sensor lights shining on the rocky valley floor. They climbed up the far side of the valley and stopped, ready to rest for the night. 1114F inspected the area for a suitable place, turning their light towards the mountain. Standing at the foot of the mountain were the three beings Xo had seen earlier. Like the two-headed beings, these three were compact and round-bodied, but they stood on two limbs and had only one head each. Their bodies and heads were wrapped in textile sheets and their faces were obscured. Each one held a long rod of brilliantly colored crystal that shimmered under the beam of 1114F’s light. The crystal rods were taller than the creatures and so thin and perfectly formed that they were shocking to behold after seeing only dull and lumpy features on this planet.

The middle being spoke with a deep and rumbling voice, “Hello searching creator, and hello collector of knowledge. We are the Dogori. We welcome you to our home in the mountains. What do you seek on this planet that has received no visitors for so many of our lifetimes?”

Xo spoke, “I am searching for beings that can teach me how to be a better creator. I have not yet felt fulfilled in my creation, and I want to learn how to create in a way that satisfies me.”

The Dogori looked at each other and then back to Xo. “We do indeed create in a way that satisfies us. You may judge for yourself whether our way of creation is what you are searching for or not. Rest here tonight and in the morning we will take you to our home above. We will show you how we create together freely.”

For the first time on their journey Xo did not feel uneasy about these new beings. They felt trustworthy. Xo looked at 1114F and they nodded. These were the creators they were looking for.

“Thank you for welcoming us. We accept your offer.” Said Xo.

​6

Do not wrestle for control,

Your sinews will tear. Your grip will break.

Let go. Succumb to the great flow,

The current will carry you,

With the smallest effort.

-The Teachings of Xo

Xo looked around in surprise as they entered the cave. The walls and ceiling were covered in clusters of brilliant crystal as far back as they could see. Light came from within the crystals, glowing in gradients of many colors. The floor was crystal as well. It had been carved into a flat pathway. Xo’s skin was painted in patterns of crystalline light.

They had climbed the mountain paths all morning until they reached a cleft where two of the rounded ranges met. Hidden away in this recess was the mouth of the cave. The contrast of the dull hills with this brilliant cave was shocking. Xo wondered if this cave was the source of the crystal rods that their guides carried.

The three Dogori pulled back their textile shrouds to reveal their heads. Their faces looked like the rock of the mountains, marbled with brown and gray. Their features were flat, as though they had been pressed by a great weight.

One of the older looking Dogori spoke, “Welcome to the great caves. To understand our ways of creation you must first understand the duality of our planet.” They led the way deeper into the cave. “There is the energy source and the energy absorber, the resonance and the resonated, the creative force and the created. We exist as both, through both, and we are neither.”

The crystals they passed were larger now, towering above them. Their own reflection layered with refracted color was mirrored back to them as they walked by. There was a musical resonance in the passageway that grew louder as they walked. Their footsteps were amplified into deep drum beats that echoed around them. Xo realized that they were walking in rhythm with the Dogori.

The Dogori continued to speak, its words locking in with the rhythm of their footsteps, “Our highest goal is to be in synchronicity. To resonate. Many different pieces in harmony. And from that state we create.”

They continued down the crystal hallway, stepping in rhythm. The crystals pulsed with a deep purple glow. Xo realized that they had not been thinking for quite some time. They had no sense of how long they had been walking here. They remembered the two headed beings they had seen. It felt so long ago.

“We met some beings outside with two heads. Are they part of the duality?” Asked Xo.

The three guides laughed in harmony. “I see you had the fortunate, or unfortunate experience of meeting the Gulbs. Yes, even these creatures are an expression of the resonance. We are the creators of new forms on this planet, and the Gulbs were one of those forms. It can be unpleasant to interact with them at first, but they have their own kind of wisdom. The two heads cannot be listened to individually any more than one foot can lift itself without the grounding of the other. As long as you are attuned to the resonance within yourself you will hear the truth reflected in their words.”

New tunnels branched off in different directions as they went deeper into the caves. Xo had the sense that they were going down underneath the mountain. They saw more Dogori walking along these different paths. Some were carrying containers of subterranean fungi, some were carrying crystal tools. The air grew hotter as they descended. Condensation formed on the walls, dripping and forming rivulets that flowed along channels in the floor.

The aged Dogori spoke again, “Today is a day of creation. Would you like to participate with us? It has been a long time since we welcomed an outside creator. We only ask that you let go of your individual creative impulses. That you surrender to the creation of the resonance.”

Xo was lost in the hypnotic effect of the resonating crystals and took a moment to respond. “Yes, I would like to participate.” They wondered about this group creation process. On their home planet new beings were created by two adult beings using their creation powers together, but it was not a conscious effort. The outcome could not be controlled in the same way that nanomentals could be. It was something felt organically and guided by biological instinct. Or so Xo had heard. They had not yet taken part in that kind of creation with Ah. But this Dogori creation sounded like something similar but also different. Something conscious yet at the same time intuitive. Let go of my individual creative impulses... can I do that? Do I want to do that?

They emerged into a large circular chamber. Xo tilted their head back to look at the walls, which soared upward into darkness far above. Xo looked back down and saw a great pool in the center of the chamber. Along the walls there were several more tunnels, and from the entrance of each one a flow of liquid trickled along the floor and into the pool. Like the mountains and the Dogori themselves, the liquid was a dull swirl of brown and gray. The air was thick with steam and heat. Condensation dripped down the walls, running along the massive crystal formations that jutted out far above, cascading down and breaking the surface of the pool into thousands of ripples. The resonance was amplified in this chamber. It seemed to be coming from beneath them, from above them, and from every side. It was overwhelming. Xo could feel their organs pulsing, their bones vibrating.

There were several Dogori standing around the pool. Each one had removed their textile shroud and stood naked, holding a crystal rod. The three guides removed their shrouds as well. One of them held out a crystal to Xo, and they took it in their hand. It was heavy. They motioned for Xo to join them at the edge of the pool.

Xo held the rod in one hand and Sola in the other. Sola looked sickly and their eyes were closed. Xo was worried. “I want you to feel better, Sola. I am going to try to help you. To help us. I think the Dogori can teach me how to be better. I want to be better. I want to change.” Xo felt a sense of peace with this new intention, and some of the tension left Sola’s face.

A single Dogori entered through the passage directly across the chamber. They were without a shroud and held nothing in their hands. Their body was creased and layered and it inflated as they took a deep breath in. They opened their mouth and began to sing. It was a clear sound that pierced the resonance and weaved among the pulsing and humming. The anatomy of the Dogori allowed for singing and breathing simultaneously, and the powerful voice continued to soar into harmony and a dip into dissonance. The singer walked to the edge of the pool and continued walking, wading into the liquid until half of their body was submerged. The Dogori around the edge of the pool stepped forward now, each one singing their own note, creating a complex harmony. Xo followed and stepped into the liquid. They began to sing too. At first their voice felt thin amongst the others, but they soon lost track of their own voice and heard only the harmony. They stopped only to breathe, taking rhythmic breaths and singing, breathing and singing. They began to feel euphoric. A tingling pleasure rippled through their body.

A Dogori approached from each of the four corners of the chamber, each carrying a crystal basin of pulverized rock. They waded into the pool and approached the single being at the center of the pool. They took turns pouring the fine dust over the being, then filling their container with liquid and pouring it over them. They waded back out of the pool, leaving the single Dogori coated with shimmering mud.

The circle of singing Dogori waded deeper into the pool, each one holding their crystal rod extended in both hands. As they approached they all touched the end of their crystal to the body of the being in the center of the pool. Xo did the same. As they touched the crystal to the Dogori’s body they felt a sudden and deep connection to all the other beings in the circle. All of their thoughts and intentions were inside Xo’s head, and Xo could hear their voices as if they were coming from their own mouth. The chorus of voices fluctuated and formed new chords and dissonances, and they all stood connected for a long time.

A crescendo began to build, gathering more and more power, and the resonance grew to an almost unbearable volume. Xo felt shaken to the very core of their being and their voice rose to a scream with the others. Louder, harsher, every muscle tensed. They felt that the place where the rod met the being in the center was the only thing holding them upright. They no longer felt any strength in their limbs.

The being in the center raised their arms up above their head. Their hands began to melt away, followed by their arms, head, and torso. Vivid colors bled out from within their body and swirled into the pool. The circle of beings lowered their crystal rods into the liquid as the body disintegrated. The voices all stopped at once and there was a moment of relief. Xo heard the drops falling from above and hitting the surface of the pool. They heard the sound of their own breath. The Dogori began to wade in a circle, stirring the liquid with the rods. They sang again, rhythmic chords that kept time with their movements. The liquid churned and leapt up with a life of its own, fighting against gravity. A spectrum of bright colors bubbled up and swirled. Xo was holding Sola and the crystal rod together in their hands, but as they began stirring they felt a force push their hands open. Their grip faltered and they stumbled. Sola opened their eyes and slipped through Xo’s fingers, floating towards the center of the pool. No. I’m not ready. I’m not ready to let you go! I’m not ready for you to change! Xo tried to lunge forward after Sola but the liquid held them in place. They were still linked to all the Dogori in the pool, and they were overwhelmed with the impulse to wade and stir. Xo watched through the eyes of each being in the circle simultaneously as Sola dropped down into the liquid and disappeared.

They continued wading and stirring, their voices rising and falling. The crescendo had passed and Xo could feel that an end was approaching. The center of the pool grew still despite the stirring, and they felt resistance as though the liquid was growing thicker and more solid. Xo could feel many intentions and emotions flowing throughout the circle and felt the urge to add their own.

Sola, I will miss you.

Powerful being formed from the best of us all.

Remember the light of the sun. Remember our journey.

Dogori. Sun being. Solidity. Radiance. Create. Destroy. Change.

Rebuild yourself by your own design now.

Resonate. Vibrate. Harmony. Discord. Chaos. Order.

Take the form you are destined to be.

A shape began to rise from the center of the liquid. A round shape coated and dripping with the glittering mud. A head.  Then shoulders, then a torso arose. The figure stood still and the stirring came to a stop. The four Dogori with their containers waded back into the pool and took turns pouring liquid over the figure, washing away the mud. The being that was revealed was translucent and glowing like the crystals in the chamber. They had traits of Xo’s body and Sola’s face, but also the shorter, rounder shape of the Dogori.

The group mind link faded and Xo saw only the perspective of their own eyes once again. They felt exhausted. Hollowed out. The Dogori around them appeared to be tired as well. Many of them leaned on their crystal rods for support.

The newly created being spoke, “Hello to you, my creators. Thank you for bringing me into being, for I sense that it was no small effort. I thank the Dogori being Doghil for giving their form back to the pool of creation. I understand it is unusual for more than one being’s essence to be combined in this way, but I am also made of the matter of the sun being Sola, creation of Xo the seeker. I thank them for their matter. I am molded by the intentions of all of you. From many I have emerged, and for many I will resonate. My new name will be Sothil in honor of those who came before me.”

The beings in the chamber let out a triumphant cheer, a great chord that reverberated from the walls. Xo was surprised to feel a great sense of satisfaction. They were pleased by the new being. They felt a wave of relief now that the change had happened, now that Sola had become something new. This new being was both unfamiliar and familiar. It felt right. Xo was excited to spend time with them.

Xo looked around at the Dogori creators. This could not have been done alone, each being had made their contribution. This new being could have only been created in this exact way, at this exact time and place, under these exact conditions. The resonance kept Xo conscious until the new being Sothil had walked from the pool and toward a nearby tunnel. Then they let their mind succumb to rest.

...

Xo awoke in a small chamber, laying on a slab of crystal. 1114F sat beside the slab, analyzing one of the crystal rods. “This is a very unique form of crystal. The structure is optimized for transmitting thought and intention. It may in fact amplify it. While you were resting, I spoke with some of the Dogori elders. They told me that these crystal caves have been here in the mountains since before their recorded history began, but this crystal shows signs of engineering by a society with technology far more advanced than that of the Dogori. Isn’t that interesting? The universe is littered with evidence of beings long since departed or extinct. If only I could have been there to document their existence!” Xo nodded absently. 1114F set the rod aside and turned to focus on Xo. “How are you feeling Xo?”

Xo sat up, moving slowly. The memories of the ceremony flickered through their mind; the singing, the stirring, the melting Dogori being, Sola falling into the liquid, and the new being rising from the liquid. “I must speak to this new being, Sothil.”

“Yes, Sothil, incredible! Traits of Sola and the Dogori combined, as well as elements of the ancient crystal technology woven into them... Xo?” 1114F began to respond, but Xo was already walking out of the chamber and down the crystal hallway. They could feel a pull towards the energy of Sothil, and without thinking consciously where they were going they traveled upward through a series of hallways until they came to another chamber, this one much higher in the mountain. Sunlight filtered through the crystal ceiling.

Inside the chamber several wrinkled Dogori elders were seated in a semi-circle facing Sothil. They were listening intently as Sothil spoke, “I see the memories of Doghil and the memories of Sola, and many memories from the minds of my creators as well. In this way they all live on in me, much in the way that all of those beings that have had an influence on your lives live on in your memories and actions. Certainly nothing can come from nothing, and something has to come from something.”

The Dogori nodded. Xo stood in the doorway, feeling frustration rise within them. They still did not understand. But where did my urge to create come from? My creators did not give this to me. My predecessors did not live the lives that I want to live. I am the only one like me. I still feel so... alone. They walked into the chamber and spoke, “And what about Sola? I created Sola from nothing. I created an entire landscape and my own creatures from nothing.”

Sothil smiled. “Welcome, Xo. Your thoughts are nothing? Your ideas came from nowhere? The matter you transformed, it did not exist until you made use of it? In every act of creation there is a history. A collaboration. A multitude of participants beyond yourself.”

One of the wizened Dogori turned and spoke to Xo, “Young creator, you are powerful beyond measure, but you still believe that you are singular. That you are separate. Until you release the belief of your separation from the matter around you, from the beings around you, from your creations, you will remain unsatisfied.”

Xo remembered the conscious liquid of the Great Oneness and its pressure to succumb. To let go of the self and dissolve. They could not reconcile that with what was being said now. Wasn’t that giving up? How could they physically remain a separate being but be a part of everything at the same time? “How can I give up my sense of self? That is the reason why I began this journey, why I left my home. To stop hiding myself, to be the being I want to be. Not to lose myself again!”

Another Dogori elder spoke, “You are an expression of great energy. Through you the universe speaks. You are here because you have begun to listen. You want to understand. Many beings seek to control expressions of energy, to stifle other beings, to tame the energies around them for their own use, but they fail to see that they are not separate from the energy they seek to control. You do not wish to be controlled, so why do you impose such restrictions upon yourself?”

Sothil spoke again, “When you created Sola you felt the universe speak didn’t you? You were the sunset, the dust, the air. In that moment you were everything and everything was you. Something was articulated. An expression of something that could only exist in that moment. You already know the answers to the questions you seek, Xo. Perhaps you needed to be here and now to realize them. In fact I am certain of it because I can see from the look on your face that you are beginning to understand.”

Xo felt like they were grasping at something that kept slipping away. Something elusive but very important. “But don’t I make decisions? If it is not me making the decisions, if it is all some greater force, then why should I even bother to try?”

There was a silence and then one of the Dogori spoke, “You are indeed an individual, young creator, in the same way that a drop of liquid falling through the air is separate from the trickle above and the pool below. Your confusion lies in the idea of you imposing your will on the matter around you. Everything is collaboration. Every breath you take is birth and death, creation and destruction. The actions of the drop soon become the ripples of the pool. You have heard tales of beings who would create things like suffering and death and ruin. Have you not created these within yourself? Trillions of cells have died within you, swept back into the rivers of your blood. Colonies of microorganisms wiped out, dissolved, digested, excreted. And have you not chosen mental suffering at times? The inner violence? Indeed this is the struggle of all beings. By choosing to see the life, the rebirth, the creation, the pleasure, the great celebration that exists in every moment, you will then project that which you see into the universe around you.”

1114F squeezed past Xo to get a better view of the chamber. “Yes, very profound! Oh, don’t mind me, I have nothing of substance to add. I sensed that this is a very important moment so I must be sure to document it thoroughly. Please continue.”

Sothil smiled. Looking at them was like looking into cloudy crystal with a light shining behind it. There were channels and bubbles and bursts of color that drifted and transformed within them. Their face was simple but expressive. Sothil walked toward Xo and reached out to take their hand. They were about half the height of Xo, and they floated up to look them in the eye. The surface of their hand was soft but it held incredible strength. “You are a part of me Xo, and I am a part of you. Sola knew that they had to die and be reborn for you to see. Each day a new Xo is born. The Xo of yesterday is but a memory and the Xo of tomorrow does not yet exist. What will you choose to do with the Xo of now?”

Xo thought for a moment and then turned and walked from the chamber hand in hand with Sothil. 1114F and the Dogori followed as they chose a tunnel that led upwards and soon it opened out onto the mountainside. They stood on the ledge, overlooking the plains below. Xo could see a group of small dots where they had walked toward the mountains. The Gulbs.

“I would like to talk to those beings again. I think I will understand them better now. Would you like to come with me, Sothil?” asked Xo.

Sothil nodded and reached out to hold both Xo and 1114F’s hands. All three of them rose into the air together. Xo spoke to the Dogori gathered at the entrance of the tunnel, “Thank you for sharing your creativity and wisdom with us, I have learned much from you. I will remember the power of your resonance.”

The Dogori murmured in deep tones and one stepped forward to speak, “Thank you as well, creator Xo. You have shared your creative power with us in turn, and for that we are grateful. We sense that we shall not meet again in these current forms, and so we say farewell to this iteration of you. We too will remember your resonance.”

The Dogori watched as Sothil floated up, bringing Xo and 1114F with them, and together the three drifted down from the mountain hand in hand toward the plains.

Xo felt a lightness inside as they floated. It was not completely clear to them what they had learned, but something had shifted in their perspective. As they approached the Gulbs they did not feel revulsion or anger. Instead they felt a sense of connection, a powerful kinship to these creatures despite being so different in physical form.

As they touched down and walked up to the group they recognized the same Gulb that had spoken to them when they first arrived. Its two heads looked up at Xo and its squished facial features showed amused recognition.

“And so, the rejected being descends from the mountains in defeat. Hubris brought them here and the naive traveler has been put in their place. Surely the Dogori have chastised them.”

“An enlightened being approaches! Pay them their full respects, for we can never hope to understand the depths of their knowledge. The Dogori have learned much from their presence.”

Xo relaxed and listened to both voices at once. A new meaning emerged. Listening without trying to judge or analyze uncovered the creature’s true intention. Xo felt the message, “We hope that you have found what you seek.”

Xo responded, “Thank you my friend, we have been transformed.” Xo motioned to Sothil beside them, “The knowledge of this planet has merged with ours and we will carry it with us on our journey.”

The two heads blinked in satisfaction,

“Always a new journey, always a new destination, never staying still, never truly reaching what you seek, that is your fate.”

“And the deep knowledge of the universe lives within you as well, the great enlightened one who will create things we can only begin to imagine.”

But what Xo heard was, “We are glad. Your journey is an important one. We will carry your memory within us as well, however brief it has been.”

The Gulb reached under its body with one of its stubby limbs and produced a small sphere of crystal.

“You will surely fail, but the meaningless detritus of the great chaos has told us to give you this piece of debris, it means nothing.”

“A being of power beyond measure surely does not need a trifle of this kind, but it is all we have to offer.”

Xo heard, “An object that channels the resonance of this planet may serve as a reminder of what you have learned. Please take it with you on your journey.”

Xo took the small sphere in their hand. It shifted in color as they turned it in the light. They held it up so that the sun shone through it, illuminating a network of small fissures and strands running through the transparent material. They could sense the incredible complexity and density of the crystalline structure. As they lowered the sphere they saw something on the horizon. A cube shape that was growing steadily larger. Suddenly they remembered the data cube ship that had come for them back on that first planet, but this time they did not feel any worry. They were ready to meet these representatives of data preservation.

1114F saw the cube and became agitated. “Xo, they have found us again! They never give up, do they? We must depart.”

Xo continued to watch the cube approach. “This time we will meet them. I believe we will be able to find an agreeable solution.”

“They will not listen! Believe me when I say they will not be swayed from their programming!” 1114F realized that Xo was not going to change their mind and they turned and began to run. “I will not go back, they will not reformat me again!” 1114F only ran a short distance before they froze in place. The cube was close now and it moved to hover directly above, blocking the sun and casting a shadow over them all. Xo felt the invisible pull of the cube and floated into the air. Sothil and 1114F floated up as well and the three of them were arranged side by side as they were compelled upwards. 1114F trembled. Sothil smiled. Xo was confident. Now that I know that they too are an extension of me, how could they mean me harm? We will come to an understanding and we will all be free to continue on. An entrance opened in the bottom of the cube and the Gulbs watched from far below as the three small dots disappeared inside.

​7

From then to now,

How have you grown?

How have you changed?

Visit your past again and see,

All that is revealed in the light of now.

-The Teachings of Xo

Inside the cube they drifted through dark angular hallways. Black shadows, dull gray metal, synthetic cords and tubes, red lights flickering. Occasionally they would pass a square-bodied drone working in an alcove. None of the drones reacted to them as they drifted by. Xo looked into the hallways they passed and occasionally there was a chamber with machinery inside. Large coils, metal columns with thousands of thin filaments connecting them to each other, interlocked rotating disks. Xo sensed that these machines controlled various functions of the cube ship.

Eventually they emerged into a large central chamber. In the middle of the space a giant cube was suspended. It looked like a data cube but multiplied several times in size, large enough for Xo to walk along its surface for several steps. A web of metallic strands connected it to the walls of the chamber. These strands were active, slowly connecting and reconnecting to different parts of the cube.

As they drifted closer, a strand with a cluster of sensors unfurled and rose up to meet them. Like eyes, but glazed over and dead. Each one had a dim red light glowing within it. They floated there in stasis, watching the hypnotic motion of the strands while the sensors moved and viewed them from different angles. The walls themselves moved and rearranged to accommodate the motion of the strands.

Finally, a metallic voice filled the chamber, like thin sheets of metal vibrating and tapping against each other, “You three beings are held for transgressions against the sanctity of data. You have violated the galactic data agreement set forth by The Unknowable Infinite and have taken that which belongs to all. You have used archived data for the purposes of the individual. The stolen data will be retrieved, and in the interest of the collection and preservation of data your mind’s data will be extracted and cataloged. We cannot guarantee that you will survive this process.”

Several metallic tendrils moved toward 1114F, weaving into the lattice of their torso where the data cube was held. They were very strong. The lattice warped as the tendrils began to pry 1114F open, slowly pulling in all directions. Xo reached out with their mind and pulled against them, and for a time they were able to keep 1114F intact. Several tendrils reached out to Xo. The end of each tendril spread out into a network of smaller and smaller branches until the strands were so fine that they could no longer be seen. The strands made contact with Xo’s skin, and Xo felt the strands working their way into their body. A chill ran through Xo, and their mind lost its grip on 1114F. Xo watched helplessly as 1114F’s torso was ripped open and the data cube was withdrawn from inside. 1114F cried out as their lower torso and legs fell away, and then was silenced as the strands enveloped them.

Xo tried to protect themselves from the strands, but there were so many and they were already deeply integrated beneath their skin. Xo turned their head to look at Sothil. Their eyes were closed and their skin had become mirrorlike, reflecting everything around them. The strands moved over their face and body, but the stands didn’t settle anywhere. They were unable to penetrate the surface. Xo felt their consciousness slipping away, and as they began to drift they looked at 1114F’s data cube again and saw the green liquid flowing along the tendrils that held it.

...

Xo opened their eyes.  They were staring at a sandy brown wall. The smells, the dryness of the air, familiar sensations were all around them. They were back on their home planet in one of the dwellings for children. They looked down and realized they were back in their childhood body, and as they looked around they saw the other young ones that they were raised with sitting in the room with them.

An elder being was standing at the front of the room, teaching a lesson. They lectured, “...and the chaos and destruction can only be avoided by suppressing the urge to create freely. The safety of our minds and bodies is the most important thing. Denying the selfish urge is for the good of all. Only approved creations are for the good of all. Our creators intended for us to create responsibly, reasonably, and only for the good of all.”

Xo stood and spoke, “But I heard that no one really knows who our creators were and what they wanted. How can we know that creating what we want leads only to chaos and destruction?” Was this a memory or was Xo in control of their words now? Xo could not tell.

The teacher looked at Xo sternly. “Remember the story of Od! Their free creation of suffering and death must never be repeated. Questioning is the first step towards acting wrongly. It comes from selfishness. You must suppress this urge to be special, to be original, to be something different. Suppress it until it fades away. As we all have. As is right. You must trust in the lessons of those that came before. This is how it has always been.”

Xo remembered this exchange now. It was as if they were watching the memory through the eyes of their young self. They felt themselves sitting back down, but the urge arose to continue speaking. Xo pushed with their mind against the resistance of the memory until they felt a tearing sensation. They took a deep breath. They were in control of their young self now. They spoke, “I will not stop searching for answers. I have seen worlds beyond this one, and I have seen that creation does not always lead to chaos and destruction. It can lead to beauty, fulfillment, new beings, new ways of thinking. Our bodies, our minds, our creations are all a part of something greater, the great forces of universal creation. I want to be a part of it all! I trust myself to create freely, and I will not stop.”

The other young ones whispered to each other excitedly and a look of anger fixed itself on the teacher’s face. They walked over, grabbing Xo’s arm and pulling them toward the door. “Your disobedience and selfishness will not be tolerated! You will face the council. They will find a punishment suitable for this behavior!”

Time slowed and the sound and motion in the room slid to a halt. The voice from the giant cube spoke in Xo’s mind.

Do not disrupt the memory data retrieval process. Interfering will result in inaccurate records and the alteration of source data. You will now resume mental hibernation to avoid neural damage.

Time flowed backwards until young Xo was sitting back down again, and this time Xo yielded and let the memory proceed as it had happened originally.

Xo watched through the eyes of their young self, their present mind drifting in and out of consciousness. Sometimes memories sped forward in a blur, sometimes memories played out in what felt like real time. They saw themselves learning how to create the approved nanometals in the creation center. They saw their nanometal creation teacher, but for some reason they looked different than they should have. In fact they didn’t look like a Korovian at all. When Xo looked at their face they saw several eyes protruding on fleshy stalks, and as they picked up the finished nanometal rods their limbs were tubes of smooth flesh with no distinct hands or fingers.

Xo remembered their teacher’s repeated lectures on the importance of uniformity in creation, but this teacher began a different lecture, “My young friend, I do not know how I have come here, but I sense that I am expected to tell you about the importance of uniformity in creation. Uniformity everywhere in everything with no deviation. But unfortunately I do not agree! Certainly there is value in creating a sturdy and dependable material for building a shelter or machinery, but complete uniformity everywhere and in everything? It cannot be done even if you wanted to! Even two of the smallest particles you can imagine have lived two completely different lives, have witnessed two entirely different series of events, and yearn to follow two very different paths. Just ask them!”

Xo blinked and the teacher was how they remembered them. A very serious but very normal Korovian. They looked at Xo expectantly. “Xo? I said you will now create the first variation of a triangular structure type nanometal lattice, are you ready?”

Xo’s mind became passive again and they watched the memories pass.

They found themselves back in their dwelling with their partner Ah. This memory felt significant. It was a conversation they had soon after moving into their dwelling together. Xo remembered the way the light fell in the space that afternoon, casting shadows across the main room. Ah was sitting at their table, watching as the sun disappeared below the hills. “I do sometimes wonder about the source of such things, Xo. If beauty can be created by the conditions of our planet and the environment around us, what is wrong with us creating similar things of beauty? Are we not a living extension of our environment?” Ah looked at Xo, they seemed to be looking for signs of agreement.

Xo knew that statements like this bordered on unacceptable in their society. Ah had never expressed themselves so explicitly in this way. Xo remembered feeling fear. They were not yet ready to reveal their true thoughts to Ah. It felt too vulnerable. Xo heard themself speaking, “Ah, you know that our powers of creation are not meant to create beauty. That would be a selfish and unnecessary expression.” As Xo spoke they could see disappointment on Ah’s face. They realized now that this was the last time Ah had expressed their feelings about creation to Xo, and Xo felt a fresh wave of regret for not being honest with Ah. They had been scared. Scared of the potential punishment for expressing these kinds of thoughts, and scared of how right they felt. For so long they had kept it all secret, something just for them. They finally had the opportunity to share their creations with another being, but they found themselves paralyzed by fear. What would have been different if I had spoken the truth at that moment? Would I be on this journey now? Would Ah be here with me?

“Your words are false. It is clear what your true desires are. The two of you are in alignment. Do not let your paths diverge again, even if it is only a shadow of what could have been.” The voice came from a corner of the room. A tall triangular form moved out of the shadows and across the floor. It had a porous surface and there was a shifting movement within. It spoke with a rhythmic clicking, “Speak your true thoughts now or forever live in the regret of what could have been, for you will not receive another opportunity to come to an understanding.”

They were right. Xo pushed against the resistance and felt the sensation of taking control again. Even though this was just a memory their body tensed with fear. It felt so real. They said to Ah, “Yes. Yes! It’s true, I want to create beauty! I don’t agree with the rules of the council. I have not been honest with you. I have been creating freely. Things that appear in my mind. My feelings, things I want to express and share. Can you still live with me... be a partner to me? A reckless creator?”

Ah smiled. “I was hoping you would agree, Xo. Maybe... maybe we could create something of beauty together.”

Xo smiled. They felt a wave of relief, and for a moment they could see another path that could have been. A partnership of mutual creation and sharing instead of solitude and secrecy. Sadness overcame Xo. They looked at Ah and saw understanding, love, acceptance... it was there all along. I am the one that refused to share my true self. Why did I keep it hidden for so long?

Xo wanted to stay in that moment. To bask in the look on Ah’s face. It was bittersweet to know that this one conversation could have changed so much. As they looked into Ah’s eyes time began to slow down. Everything froze. Ah began to fade away. Xo panicked and tried to hold on, to stay in the memory, but Ah and the room around them faded until they saw only white. They turned and saw the porous triangular being beside them. The being spoke again, this time with the cadence of the cube voice, “There has been another deviation in the recorded memory data. We are experiencing an above average occurrence of aberrations in our processing. We will stop memory collection and conduct diagnostics.”

Xo opened their eyes and they were back in the large chamber. The motion of the strands and the cube had stopped. Everything drifted slowly in the lack of gravity. They saw 1114F’s upper half floating, unresponsive, with several tendrils attached to their head. Xo felt the strands restricting them as well, but they didn’t have the same rigidity that they had before. Xo moved their arm and the tendrils there came loose and drifted away. They looked at the large cube and saw Sothil walking on its surface. Where Sothil stepped, rivulets of the green liquid bubbled up and flowed along indentations on the surface of the cube.

The cube voice spoke, slow and stilted, pausing between words, “Unknown data sources detected... unauthorized access... must protect... central data core... shutdown of system... commencing.”

Xo reached out to the strands with their mind. There was nothing controlling them, and now Xo was able to manipulate them. The image of a path leading to the central cube came to Xo’s mind, and the stands dissolved away and reformed into a walkway. Xo walked along it, their feet keeping them anchored to the walkway with each step. The path took them closer to 1114F and they reached out with their mind, dissolving away the strands and using one of them to pull 1114F’s torso to them. Xo took hold of the metal hand and pulled the floating upper half of 1114F along with them as they walked to Sothil.

Sothil stood at the center of one of the faces of the cube. The green liquid rippled and churned around their feet. As Xo walked up to them, Sothil gestured down at the surface. “The group consciousness of the liquid has been exploring the cube’s data. They have caused the surface mind to shut down, but there is more information deeper inside that the liquid has not been able to access. It is saying that it can sense a way in below us but it cannot penetrate.”

Xo nodded and reached out to examine the cube. Their mind recoiled as they tried to navigate into the material. So many layers folded upon layers, fractals and pathways and networks. Xo forced their mind to look again but quickly became lost in the maze of the structure. The material was not moving but Xo felt the sensation of being pushed away. They tried again to go deeper but they kept finding their focus redirected, spiraling back to the surface. Xo stumbled and lost their footing, falling and bumping up against the cube’s surface. They held onto the surface with one hand, dizzy, all sense of up and down was lost. They stayed there, one hand anchored to the surface, one hand holding 1114F, both legs drifting, breathing heavily. Slowly they regained their orientation and brought their feet back to the surface. They stood, a dull pain pulsing in the center of their head.

Sothil watched Xo stand back up. “Perhaps this could help.” Sothil held out their hand. It was empty. Their palm rippled and the crystal sphere given to them by the Gulbs emerged. “When you lost consciousness this gift drifted from your hand. I kept it safe for you. I can feel my thoughts being amplified when I think upon it. It may help you access the deeper information of the cube more directly.”

Xo took the crystal sphere in their hand and concentrated their thoughts into it. Their mind expanded inward and outward, multiplied. They could see all of the minute detail within the sphere, each structure of the crystal lattice pointed in a new direction both deeper into the sphere and outward into the space around them. It was not unlike the complexity of the cube’s surface, but instead of redirecting and disorienting it was enhancing and amplifying. Xo could see themselves from infinite angles. They saw every cell on the surface of their skin. They looked into their own eyes, looking deep into the organic machinery that received light and allowed them to see. Everything in the chamber was visible to them at once. There was a clarity to this vision that Xo could never have imagined until this moment.

Sothil smiled and pointed down at the cube. Xo let the sphere drift down towards the surface of the cube, keeping their mind focused on it. The green liquid rippled and formed into a ring shape on the surface. Xo felt the liquid’s message: Here. The sphere came to rest on the surface in the exact center of the ring. Xo could see the surface clearly now. Its minutely intricate channels and strands were made up of even smaller lattices, and those contained yet more complexity. They saw how they had been overwhelmed before. They could see how it had been done. They saw the surface of the sphere itself and its own intricate construction. It was not actually making contact with the matter of the cube. Xo was looking so deeply that they saw many empty spaces within the patterns of these smallest particles. They saw that the empty spaces in the two surfaces could interlock. They would be able to pass through. They guided the surface of the sphere downward into the cube, turning and reorienting delicately, movements no bigger than the smallest particles. It was like an infinitely complex version of a toy they had played with as a child. A puzzle of nanometal pieces tangled together that could only be separated if they were each oriented into the right position. The sphere sank into the surface. The liquid pooled together and tried to follow, but it was unable to see the empty spaces in the way Xo could through the vision of the sphere. It churned in frustration on the surface.

The sphere descended. The matter of the cube grew more and more dense as the sphere moved closer to the center, but it was still silent and unmoving. Finally there was a layer that seemed impenetrable even with Xo’s heightened senses. There was energy here, something beneath was vibrating the particles. They stayed still for a time listening to the vibration, and then Xo had the thought, In order to move forward there must be a change. Without change there is only stillness.

Xo reached out to the sphere and began to vibrate the crystalline structure. Slowly, gently, they vibrated, attuning to the frequencies of the layers below. The most subtle warping and bending and flexing. As the vibrations synchronized, their matter interlocked and the sphere sank into the central layer of the cube. It emerged into a reservoir of liquid. The liquid vibrated with the sphere and suddenly Xo could see every part of the cube ship simultaneously. They could feel the machinery as extensions of their own body, and knew that they could command them to function in the same way they could command their limbs to move. They felt the source of power for the consciousness that had held them against their will and disconnected it. They could feel a presence there in the center of the cube. It was different from the voice of the ship they had heard before. Instead of commanding it was observing. Waiting.

Xo spoke their thoughts through the sphere, Who are you? Are you the one controlling this ship?

Thoughts came back to Xo’s mind in reply, I am not the controller so much as I am the potential for control. You can already feel that you control the mechanisms. I am the conduit for your intentions.

Xo thought, And who created you?

Much like you I do not know where I came from. No one has given me that information, and I do not know it innately. I know only that I exist and that I have the potential for many actions. Also, the ship’s data archive is not available for me to understand. It is separate from me, and I have no desire to understand it. I am available to carry out your intentions. We are now connected.

Xo understood now that this intelligence was something separate from the personality of the data archive, the voice that had confronted them earlier. It was the core intelligence that controlled the ship’s actions on behalf of the data archive. It did not know anything other than how to operate the ship. Xo would need to look elsewhere to find more information about where to go next. Thank you. We will depart soon. First I will find a new destination.

Xo let go of their concentration on the sphere and they were back on the surface of the cube, seeing only through their own eyes again. They saw Sothil sitting on the surface of the cube and 1114F drifting through the air. The liquid was flowing back and forth on the surface of the cube, looking for a way in. Xo looked around for 1114F’s lower half and saw it tangled up in limp tendrils in a far corner of the chamber. They used one of the tendrils to bring the legs over to them. They wove the two halves of 1114F’s body back together and examined them for damage. Everything seemed intact, but 1114F was still motionless. Xo wondered if they had shut down to prevent the data archive from accessing them. Xo spoke with their thoughts into the deactivated sensors of 1114F. You are safe now, the cube is no longer active. Your body is safe. Your sensors are safe. Your data is safe.

1114F’s sensors blinked on and they jerked to life. They fought against the tendril still tethering them in place.

“I will not be held prisoner! This is another trick of the data repository to keep me captive! I object, I refuse!”

Xo brought 1114F down to stand on the cube and anchored their feet to the surface.

“The data archive is deactivated,” said Xo, “The consciousness of the liquid was able to confuse it until it shut itself down. I disconnected it from its power. We have control of the ship now.”

1114F relaxed. They considered this information. They were impressed. “Control of a mobile data retrieval unit? I have never seen records of a successful involuntary deactivation. Though there have certainly been attempts! Those poor beings...”

“Yes, and I have communicated with the functions of the ship. All that we need to know now is where to go.” Xo motioned to the cube. “Can you access the data archive with its power disconnected? It must have information that it uses to guide the ship to different locations in space.”

1114F walked across the surface, inspecting the geometric patterns. They came to where Sothil was sitting and sat down next to them. They placed their hands on the surface and the geometric patterns came to life, unfolding and tumbling in upon themselves with a soft metallic whooshing. 1114F lowered down into the open space and the patterns rearranged again, interlocking and clicking into place around their body until only their sensors remained exposed.

Xo was surprised and a little bit annoyed. Well, I guess I had to figure it out the hard way...

“I have found an optimal access point. I will need some time to explore the data. It is well organized, so I hope to find something helpful soon. Do you have any more guidance for a destination? There are many galaxies to search and any criteria you have will greatly speed up the process.”

Xo remembered the tales of the creators of their own Korovian species:

“And down from the sky came that great vessel, bearing wisdom, bearing The Gift. And into the very bodies of our people was woven the power of creation through the powers of the mind’s intention. The great vessel ascended back into the sky, bidding us farewell, and for a time the power of creation allowed us to flourish.”

“I would like to find the beings who gave the Korovians the ability to create.” Said Xo, “They can tell me why we were given these abilities and what they intended them to be used for.”

“Yes, going back to the source to find the meaning of life. Very well, I will see what I can find.” 1114F’s orb of sensors began to blink with activity.

Sothil stood and spoke to Xo, “What did you see while your memories were being accessed?”

Xo felt a pang of sadness as they remembered speaking to Ah. “I saw my past, but... I saw different paths. Things that could have gone differently. I also saw beings I have never encountered before. They appeared in some of my memories.”

The green liquid flowed upwards into a floating ball that rippled in the air between Sothil and Xo.

Sothil reached out and touched the liquid. “The consciousness of the liquid tells me that it apologizes for any confusion, but it was necessary to interrupt the memory data retrieval process by participating in your memories. Fragments of memories from beings that are preserved in the liquid’s own data decided to participate.”

“Thank you. Seeing my own past was like watching a completely different being. I did not realize how much I have changed since those times.”

“Change is the only thing that is certain. Not long ago I did not exist as I do now, yet I carry with me pieces of the past. It is not so different for you, Xo.”

“I only wonder what could have been if I had acted differently, if I had not hidden myself away for so long.”

“That version of yourself is not for you to experience. Those other infinite paths close to us as soon as we act on the one we have chosen. The next moment infinite choices will appear again, and so on until we appear exactly where we are now, exactly where we are supposed to be.”

“I suppose so,” Said Xo, “Forward seems to be the only direction that I can count on, so forward it is.”

1114F interjected, “I have found something promising. There are very few records about the Korovians in this archive, but there is a record of a visit by a ship called The Unknowable Infinite to the Korovian planet many thousands of Korovian years ago. There are no earlier records from the planet. Perhaps these are the beings you are looking for Xo.”

“Can you see where the ship went next? Where we can find it now? Maybe there will be some more information on this Unknowable Infinite. Maybe the creators themselves.”

“I thought you might ask. There are several more mentions of the ship throughout the galactic area, and in many cases their visit is the first recorded data from the planet in question.”

“Are there any more recent records? If there are beings that encountered this ship within their lifetimes then they can tell us firsthand about what they saw.”

1114F was quiet for a moment while they accessed the archive again. “There is a record of an encounter not too long ago on the planet Eesi. There may be living beings there who remember the visit, but the records are sparse.”

Xo felt a sense of clarity. Now they had a destination. An objective. There was something real that they could set out to find. The Unknowable Infinite. A real ship, real data, a real goal. If they could find this ship, they would find the answers. Why? Why were we given the power to create? Why were we forbidden from using it freely? Why? “We will find answers on this planet. It will take us closer to finding The Unknowable Infinite. How can I communicate the location of this planet Eesi to the controlling consciousness?”

“I can communicate with the ship, Xo.” said Sothil, “I still know how to travel great distances and predict the shifting locations of planets in space. I will use the sphere that you integrated into the controlling consciousness to guide us. The ship will be within my control.”

“Thank you Sothil. We are getting closer to something. I am not sure what it is but I feel that we are moving in the right direction. We will find the answers.”

Sothil nodded and closed their eyes. After a moment Xo felt a subtle pull of movement as the ship began to accelerate.

​8

A plant grows, but it knows when to stop growing.

When you have enough, let it be enough.

The insatiable hunger will eat the entire universe,

And remain unsatisfied.

-The Teachings of Xo

As they traveled, Xo began to reach out and rearrange the structure of the walls of the central chamber, layer by layer, making them transparent but still solid. Then they moved to the outer passages and hallways and then the exterior of the ship until they could see the expanse outside. They watched as the blur of stars and sparkle of small rocks breaking on the surface of the ship surrounded them. Time seemed to stretch and compress. Xo laid down on the surface of the cube that was facing in the direction of their movement and began to feel as though they alone were flying forward through space, and in the next moment felt as though everything around them was moving and they were standing still.

1114F broke the silence, “Xo... I am glad that we were able to survive our most recent encounter, but... wasn’t it a bit reckless to allow ourselves to be captured? I warned you about the power of these data retrieval ships. If it had not been for the liquid consciousness, our data would have been taken, and data thieves do not tend to survive their captivity.”

Xo didn’t know what to say. There were times during the data retrieval process that they felt they would be destroyed. That their mind would disintegrate. And yet there had been something that had reassured them. That had given them a certainty that somehow they would make it through. “I’m not sure, 1114F. I just thought that we couldn’t have come this far for everything to end inside one of these big cubes. And actually, these cubes and their data rules really bother me. I wanted to confront them. To make them stop following us.”

“Well I see your line of reasoning, but let me tell you something about the data retrieval ships... They will never stop. As long as more of them exist they will keep searching for us. And now that we have commandeered a ship? Oh, we are most certainly a priority. But I can’t say it doesn’t give me a bit of a thrill as well. Wanted beings! Liberated data! What a journey!”

Xo felt a tingle of excitement. They had never considered that they would be the subject of a search. Let them try! They suddenly felt very important.

“Obstacles incoming!” Sothil announced.

Several lines crisscrossed the surface of the ship. They stayed for a moment and then broke away. More lines appeared. The ship strained against them as they stretched and snapped, but more and more lines appeared. The ship lurched to a halt and all three beings were thrown across the inner chamber of the ship. Xo and 1114F bounced off of the opposite wall and spun away in different directions. Sothil tumbled once but then hovered in the air. They flew over to Xo and then 1114F and brought them back to sit on the surface of the cube.

Xo was frustrated. “What are these things? Is this another power of the data retrieval ships to stop us?”

1114F looked closely at the lines with their sensors. “These do not appear to be any data retrieval technology that I am aware of. The patterns are too irregular.”

Xo could see a web of lines criss-crossing the surface of the ship in front of them, glinting as they caught the light of the nearest star. They were caught in a net, and as Xo looked around they saw that more strands of this web were closing in around them on all sides.

“I was only able to detect them at a very short distance due to our speed of travel. The ship is telling me that according to their sensors the nets extend for a great distance in every direction. There are many layers.” Said Sothil.

Xo felt helpless being stuck here. They had only just escaped and now they were trapped again. It was one obstacle after another. Who had put this net directly in their path? Whoever they were, Xo did not want to wait to find out. They had to get out of this net. “I want to take a closer look at these lines. I will free us from this net so that we can pass. Sothil, can you take me to the outside?”

Sothil nodded. “Of course. Take my hand and we will go together.”

Xo thought of the protective layer they had created around their body, and once again their skin became reflective as the layer formed. They created the mechanism over their face that would generate air for them to breathe, and took Sothil’s hand. Together they stepped off of the surface of the cube and began to float through the chamber. The walls were all still transparent, and Xo let the walls become opaque once again. Xo sensed that Sothil would be able to navigate even with the transparent walls, but moving through a maze they could not see made Xo feel uneasy. They maneuvered their way through the passageways and arrived at a door to the outside.

The door opened and they saw a large cord stretched across the middle of the doorway. It was as thick as Xo’s torso. It was dark black in color and almost disappeared from view against the expanse, except that the reflective nature of it caught the starlight on its edges. Xo reached out with their mind to examine the cord, and they found that it was made up of many smaller cords all twisted together. It was very strong but it was not metal. They tried severing the cord by separating the matter of each layer of small cords, but each time one was severed the end of the cord would find their way back to reattach. Xo tried dissolving an entire section of the cord at once, but the remaining lengths in either direction slid toward each other to join the ends back again.

“They have an intention to hold us here,” Said Sothil. “But for what purpose?”

There was just enough room for them to pass by the cord, and they left the ship, floating out into the empty space. A short distance away they turned back and saw the net of cords more clearly, rippling slowly as it constricted tighter around the ship. As it rippled, Xo saw the light dancing off of cords stretching far in every direction. As Xo and Sothil shifted their position, they saw that there were many layers of the cords everywhere they looked. Even if they could free themselves from this layer there were many more waiting beyond. The scale of the web was massive and Xo felt overwhelmed. They felt the familiar sensation of being trapped, even though they were out in open space.

Xo saw a more concentrated ripple in the cords far off in the distance. They could see the ripple coming toward them. “That movement looks intentional, maybe it is the creator of this obstacle. I fear that if it has trapped us in this way it may intend to do us harm.”

Sothil’s body began to glow like superheated metal. “I will be ready to carry us away if it becomes a threat.”

As the ripple grew closer, Xo could sense a resonance vibrating through the cords. Whatever was coming toward them, this must be the way that it communicated.

They floated over to a nearby cord and placed their hand on it. They felt the words, A large catch, a rare catch, something that tries to move even after being caught, very rare.

They could see the being now, it had many long thin limbs which it used to pull itself along the web of cords. It was like a giant insect but it had no central body, just more limbs that connected to other clusters of limbs; some floating freely, grasping at the empty space, some being used to navigate along the cords.

The being came to a stop next to the ship. It was very large, spreading out at least twice the length of the cube with its many limbs. It began to untangle the cube from the cords, inspecting it by touch and turning it to feel each surface.

Xo reached out and sent vibrations along the web of cords to communicate to the being, Why have you stopped us here? We are traveling through space on our own journey, we mean you no harm.

The being stopped moving and seemed to be listening for more sounds. After a pause Xo felt more vibrations. You speak to us, yet you are not a part of the network. How could it be that the gifts of the void speak? We must share this discovery. Surely it is a message from the void.

Xo realized that there must be more beings like this one, and replied, Yes, we have many messages to share, where are the others of your kind?

The central location is far but we will bring you there, messenger. It would seem that you have no way to travel the network, so we will carry you.

The being gripped the cube with several of its limbs and began pulling its way back along the cords. Xo and Sothil flew hand in hand behind it. This being thinks it was the cube that spoke. As long as it doesn’t know we are here it can’t harm us. As they went along they saw other walls of webs joining the one they followed and branching off, disappearing into the darkness and shimmering here and there in the light. They passed large pieces of metal and rock tangled in the webs, and saw more of the many-limbed beings gathering the pieces and carrying them off in different directions.

After a long time traveling, a circle came into view in the distance. It looked like a planet, but as they grew closer they could see that while it was quite large it was an order of magnitude smaller than any of the planets they had visited. The webs were getting closer together now, they were surrounded by them closely on all sides. They grew nearer to the sphere. Xo saw that it had an outer layer of rock and metal with large circular holes at regular intervals. Through the holes they could see a second layer beneath, also made of rock and metal. This layer was steadily rotating within the outer layer, a shell within a shell.  This second layer also had many circular holes which would occasionally align with the outer entrances, revealing yet another layer beneath.

The being holding the cube stopped outside the sphere and sent out vibrations, We have arrived at the central location. I will bring you inside the originating structure and the network creator will receive your messages.

The many-limbed being pulled itself near one of the circular holes. Many of the cord webs converged here and attached at the edges of the entrance. The first layer was thick, and Xo felt the sensation of looking over a cliff down at a moving sea of rock. They waited until an opening in the rotating second layer began to align and pushed off from the cords, floating into the first layer. The cube ship was dwarfed by the size of the entrance. Xo and Sothil followed them, diving over the edge of the first layer and entering the second layer, and then a third layer was revealed as the first layer closed off behind them. An entrance spun into alignment and they passed into the third layer.

They found themselves inside an enormous spherical cavern. There was a network of cords here too, but they were thinner and closer together, anchoring to the walls of the inner layer and converging toward the center of the space. Xo could not see where the cords intersected, because wrapped throughout the cords for as far as Xo could see was one neverending network of limbs like those of the being that had led them here. They couldn’t tell if they belonged to many different beings or if they were all connected together, but they swayed and grasped and rippled as one. The scale of it reminded Xo of the waves of the green ocean planet. They felt uneasy and kept their distance from the limbs.

They still had the frame of reference of the outside layer, and everything around them now was constantly rotating as if they were within a rolling ball. Xo reached out and held on to one of the cords as it spun by. It carried them in their weightlessness; they were synchronized with the inner layer and now it was the outer layers seen through the entrance holes that appeared to spin. A short distance away the being carrying the cube ship held on to the cords too, and it handed the ship to the sea of limbs. Xo felt the vibrations of the first being through the cords.

Originator, we have found a gift from the void that speaks and moves of its own power.

The great being filling the structure replied, the vibrations shaking the walls and resonating throughout Xo’s body. You were right to bring it here, gatherer. It has been long since we have spoken to a messenger from the void. You are free to return to your search.

The gatherer gave a vibration of understanding and said, Your wisdom has been heard, originator. We return to our search. May the void bring us many gifts. They pushed off from the cords and drifted back through the inner entrance.

The originator spoke again, the vibrations slow and rhythmic, You are now in the central location of the network. We are the origin. The source of the network that gathers the gifts of the void. All else connects to us, beyond is only the void. What message do you bring?

Xo sent vibrations into the cord that they held onto, We are not messengers. We are explorers. We are on a journey and were caught in the nets of your network. Will you let us pass through?

The rippling limbs inspected the surfaces of the cube. It is not this gift that speaks but something else. Come closer, explorer. We will not harm you. We wish only to feel you.

Xo did not want to let the limbs touch them. They didn’t want to get anywhere near them, but they also knew that they had to try to reason with this originator. They looked at Sothil, who nodded in approval. Xo let go of the cord and together they drifted down to stand on the surface of the cube. Sothil glowed again, ready to fly them away if the limbs tried to harm Xo. Xo saw the limbs up close now; twisted like the cords but more complex, segmented with sinews and muscles that allowed them to move. They looked gnarled and sharp. A limb reached out to Xo, the joints bending and unfolding slowly like a finger reaching to touch something delicate. The end segment of the limb was taller than Xo, and the underside was covered with soft follicles, each as long as Xo’s arm. Xo braced themselves and stood firmly as the follicles swept over them, feeling their shape.

The originator spoke, Yes, we see you now. You say that you are an explorer, but what is there to explore outside of the network? There is only the order of the network and the chaos of the void. Could it be that there is another network elsewhere?

There are many other places outside of this network. We are beings that come from planets; solid masses much larger than this place that are the home to many different beings and creatures, Said Xo, Why do you gather the rocks and metals of space?

The limbs rippled. Xo found themselves getting lost in the vast sea of movement. Planets. We have received gifts larger than this place of origin. Were they planets? Their matter is now a part of the network. We accept the gifts of the void and use them for the expansion of the network. It is our purpose. Growth. The gifts are transformed into the matter of the network. They fuel the creation of new gatherers, and the gatherers retrieve more gifts, and the network grows.

But when will you stop? Won’t you end up turning everything there is into the network?

Stop? We are the network and we are growth. To stop is to stagnate. To stagnate is to die. You say you are an explorer, when will you have explored enough? Is it not in your nature to explore?

Well, I will know I have explored enough when I feel like I am ready to stop. I don’t want to keep exploring forever! I want to follow what I feel is the right thing to do at any given time for myself.

Then you understand us. We also follow what we feel is right. And that is to create continuously. The creation cannot stop. We must create.

Xo felt a chill. As long as it was active this network would never stop growing. And how could this thing ever really understand Xo’s way of creating? Xo wanted to have the choice to create or not to create. The idea of constant growth, of repetitive creation reminded them of the nanometal factory. They never even knew what the nanometals they created were being used for. But then Xo remembered that they had created the Xovees on that first planet to carry out their creations for them. Xo wondered how the Xovees felt about creating.

Sothil’s voice spoke inside Xo’s mind, Do you think consciously about the actions of your organs? Of the creation of new cells? This network itself is an organism, and we are speaking to the part of it that controls its growth. Maybe there is another part that has different intentions elsewhere in the network, or maybe we are trying to understand it through the way we think, and this organism is altogether different in the way it thinks.

Xo realized that they did not need to agree with the originator. As long as they were able to continue on their journey they could coexist in the universe together, after all there was plenty of space. Now Xo wanted to get as far away from this originator and its network as possible. You have heard our intentions, and now we would like to continue our journey. Will you let us pass through the network? Asked Xo.

The originator’s limbs rippled faster now. We have understood you, explorer, but why should you want to continue your journey? You have reached the destination and the origin. You will become one with the network. Even now you are within it. Your current state is small and temporary but within the network you will become eternal. Say your thanks to the void for delivering you here.

The limbs reached out again to take hold of Xo. Sothil leapt from the surface, pulling Xo with them, and the nearest limb swept through the empty space. It searched around the place where they had stood, unable to locate them.

Disappeared? Perhaps their matter has gone within this larger gift. We welcome and accept them. Their integration into the network will begin.

The limbs holding the cube spread over its surface and the follicles began to eat away at it with chemical secretions. The limbs began to sink into the metal, dissolving the outer layer into foaming liquid wherever they touched it. The follicles swept up the liquid and absorbed it.

Xo spoke to Sothil with their mind, We need to retrieve 1114F! The ship may be lost but we can still save them from within!

Sothil hesitated but nodded and flew them to the ship’s doorway, careful to avoid the limbs and their secretions. They dodged around several limbs that were eating their way into the thick outer layer of the cube near the doorway, but the entrance was not blocked. They flew inside and back through the maze of tunnels until they reached the central chamber. 1114F was still integrated into the central cube when they arrived.

Xo cried out, “We need to leave now 1114F, the ship is being dissolved!”.

1114F awoke. “I have not finished my analysis of the various appearances of the Unknown Infinite. Are you sure you would like to abandon the ship so suddenly?”

There was a creaking and grinding of metal in the distance as the limbs broke past the surface of the cube and into the inner layers of the ship. Xo imagined being trapped in this inner chamber with the follicles closing in, ready to eat away at their flesh. “We have no choice, the originator is going to eat the ship and us along with it unless we leave now!”

“The originator? I suppose I will have to be caught up on all the details later. Very well, this journey never ceases to surprise at every turn. I would rather not be eaten yet, so it sounds as though leaving is our only option.” 1114F rose from within the cube, the matter folding and closing back into place behind them until they were standing on the surface. “The ship says it can still fly. It is not ready to give up yet, for what it’s worth.”

Xo remembered the crystal sphere at the very center of the cube and reached out to it with their mind. Suddenly they could see the originator’s limbs breaking through to the inner hallways on every side of the ship, pushing through the walls as if they were wet dirt. They were close to the inner chamber.

The ship spoke to Xo, “We are losing many functions, but we can still move.”

Xo thought, move, and the ship moved, straining against the limbs holding it. Several limbs broke away under the force, spraying droplets of foaming liquid that bubbled through the air. Other limbs held fast and the ship flew in a restrained arc, new limbs grabbing hold as soon as others broke away.

The vibrations of the originator shook the ship, Why resist? Would you rather drift through space idly, returning to the nothingness of the void? Here you will have a use, you will be part of the infinite growth of the network. Be thankful that you were given to us.

A limb broke through to the central chamber. Several of the strands connecting the central cube to the walls of the chamber were swept away and the cube tilted wildly. Xo and 1114F stumbled and almost fell.

The ship spoke again, “Ship movement is no longer possible. Please take all possible actions to preserve data archives. Navigation system will now go permanently offline. Farewell.”

The navigation system’s presence was gone and Xo’s vision blinked back to the cube chamber. More limbs were breaking through. One slammed into the surface next to Xo and they were launched into the air. Time slowed. Sothil grabbed Xo with one hand and 1114F with the other and pulled them downward as follicles swept through the space where they had been a moment before. Xo reached out with their mind and summoned the crystal orb to move. It rose quickly, driving a hole straight through the data cube. The liquid from the inner layer of the cube followed and gushed forth, an arc of dark liquid that spread into a slow fountain.

Xo brought the crystal orb to float in front of them and focused their mind into it again. They saw everything. They called on the material of the chamber to form hardened nanometal layers, shaping them into a sharply pointed cone with the orb protected within. It grew rapidly, layer upon layer, smooth and shining like chrome, until it was as wide across at the base as Xo was tall.

“Sothil, this will create a path for us. Follow behind it and we may be able to make it through!” Shouted Xo.

Sothil held onto Xo and 1114F tightly, positioning the three of them vertically below the flat base of the cone. Xo closed their eyes and focused on the crystal orb in the center of the nanometal and willed it to move with great force as it had when it came out from the inner cube. The orb and the nanometal cone around it launched forward in a blur and they followed behind it, flying headfirst. Time slowed and Xo saw from the perspective of the cone. Piercing through the tangle of limbs, burning liquid cascading, frothing and splashing onto the metal. Follicles grasping at their surface and then being ripped away as the limbs twisted and broke. Crunching of stone breaking and screeching of metal ripping as they drove their way through the spinning walls of the central location. Outside now, snapping through cords that they hit directly, glancing off of cords that they hit at a lesser angle, colliding less and less until they flew free in open space. Xo came back into their own body, feeling a great tension. Every muscle spasmed and they felt pain rippling through them. The exertion had pushed them too far. Sothil gripped their hand as they lost consciousness.

​9

Comfort, convenience, bliss.

I welcomed their soft embrace.

Enveloped too long, I began to forget

who I was before.

-The Teachings of Xo

Xo awoke to a throbbing pain in their arm. They looked down and saw that the lower half was missing. A frozen stalactite of blood had formed in its place. Xo shuddered, fighting back panic. They were no longer flying but drifting idly. Sothil held Xo’s remaining hand and one of 1114F’s hands, keeping them both aligned below the nanometal cone. The surface of the cone was damaged, dissolved away in places and covered in dents and scratches. Xo remembered the blur of limbs, and then the feeling of follicles grabbing hold of their arm as they sped by, melting through both Xo’s protective layer and flesh in an instant. They were lucky that the protective layer had re-sealed and stayed intact while they were unconscious. They felt very weak, but they knew that they could not continue to drift like this for too long. The energy needed to maintain their protective layer was small and subconscious, but in their current state it would not last without a true rest.

Xo spoke to Sothil’s mind, When you were Sola and you formed the vessels that carried us, how did you maintain an atmosphere that we could live safely within?

It was something intuitive, Sothil replied. I was created in that atmosphere, so it was a part of me. It is a part of you too. I can no longer form the vessel from my own being, but we can create something using the nanometal. Together. Concentrate on the crystal and I will show you.

Xo reached out with their mind and felt the crystal still embedded in the center of the solid nanometal cone. They felt Sothil’s mind there too, and together they began to imagine a new vessel. Xo expanded the cone to be longer and wider and hollow; dark opaque metal at the bottom, growing more transparent towards the top until the point was invisible. Sothil embedded mechanisms in the walls; finely woven filters and tubes that made breathable air, and a miniature sun of superheated metal connected to wires running throughout the walls to radiate heat. They created a pedestal in the middle of the vessel with a small cage to hold the crystal. Surfaces arose throughout the space for the travelers to rest and sit and think and talk and look out at the stars.

As Xo saw this vision in their mind, it became real around them. Walls formed and sealed them inside. They let the protective layer dissolve and breathed in the clean air. It had a pleasing scent and it even tasted nourishing as it passed through their mouth and into their body. They felt a comforting heat wash over them. Soon Xo felt a fresh wave of pain as the frozen blood and remaining flesh of their arm began to thaw. With the last of their energy they pulled from the remaining raw nanometal and built a new arm, layer by layer, attaching new nanometal blood vessels where they had been severed, new nanometal muscle fibers, nanometal bone structures, and a layer of nanometal skin. They filled it with the frozen blood, now melted, and the blood flowed back into their body. The new iridescent arm caught the light and shone in many colors. Xo lifted their new hand and it felt light and strong. They sank down onto one of the soft surfaces along the base of the cone and fell into a deep sleep.

...

Patterns of light flickered across the inside walls of the vessel. For a long time Xo watched the movement of the light, the soft colors bringing to mind memories of the different planets they had visited. All those years spent on their home planet were a distant memory compared to the richness of what they had seen and experienced since leaving. So much could happen in such a short time, and it was all a result of their choices. The choice to create, the choice to leave their home planet, the choice to continue to search and discover.

Xo looked for the source of the light and saw Sothil standing on the wall of the vessel nearer to the base than the point, with a constellation of colored lights floating around their head. Sothil moved the lights with gestures, making them larger and smaller and rotating them. Xo stood and walked to where the base of the cone met the wall, and then stepped onto the wall and walked up toward Sothil. The wall was still opaque here, with a deep purple hue. As Xo approached, they recognized the shape that Sothil was rotating in front of them. It was Xo’s home planet. They could remember the sight of it shrinking away into the distance when they had left.

“You’re awake. I hope you are feeling better. It can be very difficult to lose a part of yourself,” said Sothil. “But I see that you have grown into this new version of yourself as well. You have rested a long time. I have been translating the information that 1114F retrieved from the data retrieval ship’s archives into a map. I thought it would be helpful to be able to see where we have been and where we are going.”

The surface of the planet expanded and became more detailed as Sothil concentrated on it.

“It is a beautiful creation,” said Xo. “Can you show me the other planets we have traveled to?”

Sothil made a motion with their hand and the planet shrunk down until it was just a point of light. Another point of light appeared.

“This is the Data Repository.”

The two points grew closer together, and another point appeared much farther away.

“This is the planet we visited first.”

The scale shifted again and more points appeared.

“This is the planet of The Great Oneness, and this is the Dogori planet. Here is the Network of the Originator, and here is where we are now.”

Xo was surprised at the scale of it. Seeing their destinations in relation to each other like this made their journey feel more solid and defined, where before they had been a collection of experiences and feelings in their memory. The distances were almost too much for Xo to comprehend. Seeing the tiny specks of light that represented each planet also made Xo feel vaguely uncomfortable. So much emptiness between those tiny pieces of experience. In their memories the planets seemed so much larger than the empty spaces. And if the planets are so small, then how small am I?

Sothil saw Xo’s expression change, and suddenly the map of their journey disappeared. In its place was an image of their cone ship, made of orange light. Xo felt relieved.

“Thank you Sothil... we have certainly come a long way, haven’t we?” Xo remembered their search for The Unknowable Infinite. “The planet where The Unknowable Infinite was recorded, Eesi, were you able to retrieve the location of it?”

Sothil extended their arm and twisted their hand and another point of light appeared far away in another direction. They brought their fingers together and it became larger until it was the only thing in view. It was a smooth sphere with no detail on its surface.

“Little was recorded of the planet Eesi aside from its location. We will have to see for ourselves what it looks like when we arrive. We have already made good progress, it will not be long before we do.”

A blank planet. So far nothing had been as they had expected, but at the same time everything had somehow brought them to where they were now. What new surprises were waiting? Where would this planet lead them? They imagined what kind of beings might be on this planet. Something with many eyes on stalks like the being that had appeared in their memories on the cube ship? A being made of sand and dust and air? Or maybe something Xo could not even imagine.

Xo looked toward the transparent pointed end of the vessel and saw bright lines of light made by the stars blurring with the speed of their travel. 1114F was standing on the wall near the point of the cone watching the streaks of starlight shift and change.

Xo walked over to 1114F. “I am glad that you have survived to travel onward with us, 1114F, it would not be the same without you. When the Originator was dissolving the ship did you feel fear?”

“I feared only that the records of our journey within me would be lost. It would be quite a shame if no one else learned of all that we have been through, wouldn’t it? As for me, I consider myself lucky to witness it. All beings, even the mechanical, have a temporary existence. The data, the story, is what will live on beyond us, as long as there are those who continue to share it. But to answer your question... to be dissolved? I have seen records of much worse. I would rather travel on with you though, Xo.”

They stood together and watched the stars, white lights refracting into rainbows on 1114F’s multifaceted head of sensors and Xo’s new iridescent arm.

...

The planet Eesi filled their view. It was a rich green and blue color. As the cone descended into the atmosphere, pointed end first, they saw that the green was solid land and the blue was bodies of liquid. They saw a cluster of structures in one of the green valleys near a blue river and made their way closer to land on a flat patch of ground nearby, rotating vertically so that the flat base of the cone settled onto the ground and the transparent end pointed to the sky. A door opened where the side of the vessel met the ground, and Xo stepped out.

The atmosphere felt like that of Xo’s home planet but richer, full of the scent of plants and soil and moisture. It was energizing to breathe. Unlike their home planet, which was mostly dry with sparse plants, this planet was covered with plants growing in lush forests that spread out around them, dense and tall. Xo could hear the movement and calls of small creatures among the plants, and the long flexible stalks and broad leaves of the plants swayed in the breeze. A pathway led through the forest towards the cluster of structures they had seen on their descent, and a group of figures was approaching from that direction. Xo saw them walking; they had two legs and two arms and a head. They wore no adornments or coverings. In fact, their stature and movement reminded Xo of their own people. Xo could barely believe it but it was undeniable, these were Korovians. But how could it be that they were here on this planet so far away? Sothil and 1114F also departed from the vessel and observed the approaching group.

“Well, now that is unexpected! Did your people ever speak of traveling to other worlds?” Asked 1114F.

“No, only that we had been given the gift of creation from beings that descended in a great flying city long ago in the past,” said Xo. “We were taught that we had always been on our planet. There was very little talk of anything outside of our own world, only the acknowledgement of the nanometal traders. They were not spoken of often, they would arrive only to retrieve the products of our factory. I never saw them myself.”

“Perhaps these beings will know more of their origins,” said Sothil. “Yours would certainly not be the first race to populate more than one planet, though it is strange to think that your own history would not celebrate that your people had traveled between worlds.”

The group came to a stop within speaking distance of the travelers. Upon the recognition of Xo as a being of their kind, a murmur spread among them.

One of them stepped forward and spoke, “Hello travelers. We cannot help but be surprised to see one of our own kind appearing to us out of the sky like this. And in such an... unusual ship. Are you a messenger from The Unknowable Infinite? It was foretold that we would be visited again by those that bestowed the gift, but not that it would be one of our own that would visit from above, or that it would be so soon.”

Xo listened, trying to make sense of what was being said. “So you have seen The Unknowable Infinite?”

The speaker looked Xo up and down, hesitating before replying. “Allow me to introduce myself. I am Vi, one of the elders of the community here by the river’s bend. I am a recipient of the gift. If you are not a messenger, then how is it that you have come here?”

Xo remembered the fear of free creation and distrust of anything unfamiliar on their own planet, especially from the elders. They glanced at Sothil, who narrowed their eyes and tilted their head down slightly in agreement. Xo did not trust this elder Vi. “My name is Xo. We are indeed messengers from The Unknowable Infinite. I have visited many planets on my journey, and I do not know the nature of the beings that I will encounter upon arrival. My questions are not meant to insult, they are a way for me to understand the beings with whom I speak. Forgive me if I have given the wrong impression, elder Vi.”

Vi seemed to accept this and nodded.

Sothil’s voice spoke in Xo’s mind, I do not trust this elder either, but are you sure deception is the way you want to begin with these beings, Xo? You do not know their ways or how they may react if they discover that you are not who you say you are.

I do not trust that our full truth will be received well here, replied Xo. Once I see how similar they are to my own people I can deliver my message in a way that they will understand.

The group had moved closer and began to cluster hesitantly around Sothil and 1114F, staring warily at this strange glowing light being and this being made of metal with a face of lenses and sensors.

“Let me introduce my traveling companions,” Xo announced to the group. “This is Sothil, a being born of crystal and light who can fly and navigate the space between worlds. A wise protector.”

There was more murmuring throughout the group.

“And this is 1114F, a being of great knowledge who observes and keeps a record of events on our journey so that others may learn from our discoveries.”

Vi approached Sothil and took a close look at them, and then did the same to 1114F. Xo saw fear and then disgust flicker across Vi’s face, so quickly that they were not sure that they had seen it. Then Vi forced a smile. “We welcome you as messengers of The Unknowable Infinite. You are welcome to stay in one of our shelters and partake of our nourishment. When will you deliver your message?”

Xo thought for a moment and then spoke, “We will need to observe your ways here to understand how to deliver our message, for it is not something that can be simply spoken. We will stay with you for a time until we are ready.”

Vi nodded and motioned for them to follow. “Come with us then, and we will celebrate your arrival.”

The group of beings cheered and gathered around closer. Some reached out excitedly to touch the hands of Xo and Sothil and 1114F. Xo did not sense any hostility from them. Soon the group turned and the travelers walked with them down the path to the nearby community. Xo looked around at the beings in the group and at the forest around them. There was a feeling of plenty here. The beings were similar to those of Xo’s planet, yes, but they looked healthier. Taller and stronger, and more lively in their strides. The plants of the forest were heavy with many kinds of fruits, and small creatures crawled among the stalks. Xo caught sight of a plump six legged creature covered in soft dark hair, sleeping amongst a cluster of tubular roots. Even the creatures looked well-fed and moved with no particular urgency.

The group arrived at a clearing of flat ground in the midst of the shelters. Many beings from the community had gathered here to see the visitors.

Vi spoke loudly to the crowd, “We have been gifted with a messenger from The Unknowable Infinite. The messenger Xo and their companions will live among us for a time until they are ready to deliver their message.”

The crowd looked at Xo expectantly.

Xo stepped forward. “Thank you for welcoming us, river’s bend community of the planet Eesi! We wish to learn more about your ways. I hope to speak with many of you in the coming days.”

Vi nodded and gestured towards a large structure. “Let the celebration of the day begin!”

The crowd raised their voices in excitement and a rhythmic chanting began, “A day of work... is never done... until the celebration... has begun! A day of work is never done, until the celebration has begun!”

Xo did not recognize this chant. The chant gained speed and some of the beings began to kick up their legs and hop back and forth to the rhythm. Xo had never seen this kind of excitement in their home community. They wondered if there was a different type of mentality here that would embrace their ideas about creation. They followed the crowd into the large structure. The walls looked to be made of thick strips of plant stalks dried and seamlessly joined together. Large windows high up near the ceiling let in beams of sunset light. Inside there were long tables piled with fruits and edible plants from the forest. The air was warm and fragrant and the beings bustled around noisily. There was no clear beginning to the meal, beings simply began sitting and eating with enthusiasm, some still chanting, some singing other songs and wordless melodies that mixed into an excited cacophony of activity.

Xo, Sothil, and 1114F sat with Vi and the other elders at an elevated table at the back of the chamber. The elders smiled at Xo expectantly, and Vi swept their hand through the air over the table. They moved their lips, but Xo could not hear what they said over the noise in the room. Xo guessed that Vi wanted them to eat. Xo picked up one of the fruits, a purple pod that was soft and springy to the touch. They had seen some of these pods on their walk through the forest, high up in the branches. They took a bite and all other nourishment they had consumed in the past faded into gray memory in comparison to this new sweet flavor. Their organs tingled. They had never felt such euphoria from consuming something before, and the noise of the hall faded to a pleasant buzz in their ears. They were taking another bite when they realized that a voice was speaking to them through the noise.

They heard the words now, “Xo, how is it that you look like us yet you have come from the sky and have no knowledge of our ways?”

Xo was having trouble locating the source of the voice. They found it impossible to look away from the fruit, but they responded, “There are many other planets in the sky. The Unknowable Infinite has shared their gifts with other beings across these other planets, such as mine,” said Xo. “What gifts have been bestowed here to your people?” Xo’s vision blurred, but they were able to turn their head and elder Vi’s face came into focus, grinning, too close.

“The gift of creation and the gift of plenty. But the greatest gift was delivering us from our wanting. To want is to suffer not having. To have plenty is to live in comfort. We no longer want, we only celebrate having.”

Xo felt waves of satisfaction settling into their body and now they were eating the fruit again. Perhaps this truly was a society at peace.

“And what kind of creations does your society produce?” Asked Xo.

“We create our offerings to The Unknowable Infinite. Do your people not do the same?” A brief look of anger crossed Vi’s face. “We must thank those who eliminated suffering from our lives. We cannot allow the chaos to return.”

“The chaos? What was this planet like before the gift?”

Vi’s face was blank again. “We... are not to think of those times. The burden of the times before has been lifted from us.”

Vi picked up another fruit and pressed it into Xo’s hand. A thick sap dripped through their fingers. “Do not dwell on the past, messenger Xo, for the present contains all the bounty we could wish for.”

Xo looked down at the fruit in their hand and felt the sensation of falling forward through the table and through the floor even as they continued to sit upright. They realized they had not been breathing and gasped to catch their breath. Their vision blurred in and out of focus, and the noise filling the chamber made it hard to think clearly. How had they come here? They could remember landing on the planet, but what had happened before that?  Xo tried to think, but there was nothing. They felt an unpleasant sensation, as if they were trying to see what was beyond a reflective surface but could only see their own reflection looking back at them.

Next Xo was stumbling out of the chamber, through the square, and then falling into a deep sleep on a soft floor.

...

Xo awoke, lying on the floor, feeling well rested. There was no one else in the chamber and soft sunlight was filtering through a ceiling of thinly cut plant fibers. The room was simple, only walls of woven plant stalks and a padded floor. Xo walked out into the open area in the center of the community.

There was a group gathered there and one of them motioned to Xo to join them. “You are right on time, friend. We are going to begin our work soon.”

Xo wondered what this being was talking about. They could not remember seeing them before, but that didn’t bother Xo. In fact, Xo didn’t question anything, they felt only the desire to participate in whatever this group was about to do. It did not occur to Xo that Sothil and 1114F were nowhere to be seen. In fact, Xo did not think of Sothil, 1114F, their journey, or anything other than following this group. They walked along with the others until they came to a long structure at the edge of the forest, shaded by tall plants. It was a precise looking structure, made of metal and geometrically perfect stone blocks, quite unlike the rest of the community’s plant stalk and fiber structures. Xo followed the group inside and saw several square metal tables with round seats arranged around them. The beings began to sit at the tables, four at each table, one on each side. Xo took an empty seat at a table near the back of the space. There were piles of crushed rock dust at each corner of the table, and a dark metal cube at the center of the table. The other three beings at the table stared at the cube with expressions of concentration. Xo watched the being to the left of them; dust particles began to drift from their pile and transform into a thin square layer of metal on the table in front of them.

Xo asked the being, “What is this work we are meant to do? I’m sorry, but I am having trouble remembering.”

The being stopped their work and looked at Xo with a knowing smile. “Do not worry friend, the work will always be here for you when you are ready. We are using our gift to create more of these special objects as The Unknowable Infinite has instructed. The purpose does not need to be known in order to make your contribution. Just remember the celebration that will follow. How can you celebrate a day of work when you haven’t earned it? I’m sure you will remember the way soon.”

Xo tried to think back, but found only a fog with no clear memories.

Our gift?

That’s right, there was something special about Xo and these beings around them, but what was it?

Xo saw the squares or metal in front of each being at the table growing thicker layer by layer, and looked again at the cube at the center of the table.

I wonder what this cube could be? If only there was a way to understand.

Xo leaned forward and concentrated and suddenly they felt their mind connecting with the matter of the cube. Now they could see the structure of it. It was made up of many many nanometal strands all woven together in swirling, twisting patterns, layer after layer. It was overwhelming at first, but Xo kept concentrating and soon they saw where to begin.

This feels familiar. I know this object, but how?

Xo reached out to the rock dust and felt another familiar feeling, the feeling of calling the matter to form something new. Strand by strand they began to weave their own replica of the cube on the table in front of them.

The being next to Xo was pleased. “And so the correct memory returns, as it always does. Embrace the work, friend, for the work is our purpose.”

Silence returned to the chamber as the being turned back to their own cube. Xo continued to weave the nano strands, following the patterns they felt with their mind. For a time their mind was clear and they were able to concentrate fully, but as they worked, other images began to appear.

A cube many times larger and more complicated than the one that sat before them. A small crystal orb sinking into the cube, their own mind guiding it as it integrated itself into the strands of the cube and sank deeper inside. A voice speaking to them from inside the large cube, and memories from other beings, from lifetimes before...

Xo came back into the present moment and looked down at their cube. There were new patterns branching out beyond the boundaries of the square, wildly curved shapes and spirals that were not based on the model cube at all. Xo looked at the workers on either side of them but they were concentrated on their own work. Xo undid the designs until the square was back to what it had been before they had become lost in those fragments of memory. They concentrated again on the task of creating an exact replica, and time passed without distraction.

The other workers began to complete their cubes, and as each one finished they stood and carried their cube to a long table against a back wall of the room where more cubes were neatly stacked.

The worker next to Xo stood. “Well done friend, you will eat well and sleep even better tonight. When the correct memory is hard to find, it is the task of the mind as well as the body to retrieve it. This is your challenge to overcome. You are one who has many false memories, but you have overcome them before and you will do so again. We will see you at the celebration.”

Xo nodded to them, feeling reassured, and turned back to their cube. It was almost complete. Soon there was no one else in the chamber. Xo connected the final patterns on the top surface of the cube and stopped. They looked at the dark metal surface, finely textured, shining subtly, and suddenly remembered a being with a body made of metallic fibers, standing with a cube just like this woven into their torso. Then came the memory of another metallic being made of simple cube shapes, carrying a cube just like this one in a strange weightless place.

Surely these were not Xo’s memories, they had only ever been here in this place. They must be more false visions, the strange dreams that kept coming back again and again.

They stood and carried the cube to the long table and stacked it on top of the others. They saw a vision of many cubes all stacked together, rows and columns of them. Much larger cubes, forming tunnels and rooms, forming one large cube floating among the stars. Another illusion. Xo tried to hold the image in their mind, to look closer, but it faded away into mist and they were left looking at the stacks of cubes in front of them.

Had they been in this place before? Had they created some of the cubes among the hundreds stacked here? Xo had started the day with no memory of this place, but now they had the feeling that they had been here many times. They stood still for a long time before remembering the other workers. They must be waiting somewhere outside. Xo left the chamber.

Alone outside, Xo walked down the path leading to the central open space where they had gathered that morning. Two beings emerged from behind a nearby structure. One was around half the height of Xo, and had smooth translucent skin that glowed with an inner light. The other was Xo’s height and was made up of a mesh of metallic fibers with a multi-faceted ball for a head. Xo was reminded of their own metallic arm which had confused them earlier in the day when they had looked down and had no recollection of why it looked like that, but had soon forgotten about it until now. None of the other workers had an arm like this. Had they been injured? Perhaps these beings knew more about it.

“Hello, are you the beings that gave me this arm? I believe I may have been injured. Maybe I lost some of my memories in the process. I am having trouble remembering.”

The two beings looked at Xo for a moment, and then the shorter one spoke, “Xo, you created that arm yourself. I know you do not remember us, but we have traveled together to many planets. My name is Sothil. You created me. This is 1114F, you created their body. You have been here on this planet for many days. Each day we have come to meet you and each day you forget us again. We are living in the forest now, come with us and we will help you remember.”

Xo began to back away from the two beings, they must be dangerous outsiders trying to lead Xo astray.

Sothil followed Xo and held out a small crystal orb. “We cannot force you to remember, but we have discovered that it is the fruit you eat at the celebration each night that limits access to your memories. It has kept you in a state of confusion. As long as you continue to eat the fruit you will be trapped. Take this crystal and access it with your mind as you did the cube. We will show you the truth.”

Xo did not believe this. How could the routine of work and celebration not be the correct way? It was all these false memories that were the problem.

Xo became angry. Their voice trembled, “Are you the ones causing me to have these false visions? And now I see that this crystal is yet another way to confuse my mind. Why do you torture me? Is this a test of my devotion, or are you both part of another false memory as well?” Xo looked for a way to escape from the strange beings.

The metallic being spoke, “Xo, you were the one who freed me from my life of confusion. Your journey began at a place like this. This is what you wanted to escape from. Remember the nanometal production center? You left that world because you are a creator, a learner, an explorer. When you see the fruit at the celebration tonight, look closely with your mind. You will find the chemicals there that are hiding your memories. That is the source of your confusion, not us, but the greater reason is still unknown to us. We have warned you many times and yet you continue to eat the fruit, and so we will continue to warn you until you take action. Do not let your journey end here. You rescued me, the drone 1114F, from my imprisonment. You created the being of light, Sola, and recreated them again on the Dogori planet as Sothil. You confronted great beings and overcame great obstacles. Do not limit yourself to this life of forgetting. We are here for you, ready to continue the journey when you are.”

Xo saw flashes of disconnected memories as 1114F spoke, but none of it fell into an order that felt like reality. Sothil held out the crystal again and stepped closer. Xo looked at it and could feel an infinitely complicated lattice of patterns within, drawing their mind to connect, but they were scared of what they might see. Xo looked away. They turned and ran and were lost for a time in the maze between the many dwellings, until they emerged again into the main gathering place.

The other workers were gathering and the chanting began, “A day of work... is never done... until the celebration... has begun! A day of work is never done, until the celebration has begun!”

Xo joined in, raising their voice with the others, filled with joy, stomping their feet to the rhythm. They had already forgotten those two strange beings.

Inside the celebration chamber Xo sat with their fellow workers. It didn’t occur to Xo that they did not know any of their names. They saw the piles of fruits before them and felt a strong hunger. They reached toward a large orange fruit made up of many thick overlapping flaps, but as they reached, something on the table in front of them caught their attention. It was a small crystal orb. Xo picked it up and looked at it. They sat still, transfixed. They sensed that this crystal contained deep emotion and a feeling of anticipation that Xo couldn’t quite understand. It was as if it held all the feelings surrounding a memory, but the memory itself was just out of sight. Xo thought that if they looked closer they might catch a glimpse of it.

Xo reached out with their mind to examine the orb. Suddenly they were everywhere in the room all at once. They could see and hear each being in the chamber. They could see from the perspective of them all and look at each of them from all angles. Each fruit came into vivid focus. Xo could see and feel the surface of each one; all the imperfections and features that told the story of its growth. Each fruit had been shaped by their unique circumstances. The age and health of the plant that bore them, the angle of the sun and shade, their encounters with the creatures of the forest. All this had shaped each fruit into something one of a kind. Xo saw the subtle impressions, the prints from the fingers of the beings who had picked the fruits and brought them to this chamber to be consumed. Xo focused on the flaps of the orange fruit. They could see the matter that made up the skin of the fruit, its structure was protective yet soft to the touch. Within each flap there was segmented flesh made up of polyps of nectar. Xo looked closer and saw the molecular components of the nectar and the effect that each would have on their body.

Sweetness. Energy. Flavor. Nourishment. Neural obstruction.

This last thing caught Xo by surprise. They looked even closer. Woven throughout the flesh of the fruit was a molecule that would block the mind from accessing memories. Could it be? Have I been poisoning my mind each day? Is this why I can’t remember?

Xo focused on the other fruits on the table. Each kind was different in structure and flavor but all had the same chemical of forgetting within them. Xo focused on the physical structure of the thinking organ of the being next to them. The forgetting chemical was flowing through their capillaries and embedding in the flesh of their physical mind as they ate.

Xo returned to the sight of their own eyes. They did not know where this crystal had come from, but they knew that they could not trust their own memories after what they had just seen. They could no longer eat the fruit if they wanted to remember.

The being next to them looked over with a mouth full of bright blue fruit. “Will you not partake in the celebration tonight, friend? The mind and body need nourishment after a long day of work.”

Xo closed their hand around the orb and picked up a fruit, making a friendly gesture to the being beside them. They reached out to the fruit with their mind and changed the forgetting molecule to a nourishing molecule wherever they found it. Then they ate. The noise in the chamber swelled and Xo’s senses were overwhelmed by the stimulation. They were exhausted. The night blurred and soon they were leaving the chamber, then walking down a path, and then sleeping.

​10

What have you forgotten?

Passions tempered, dreams faded.

Choose to remember.

Remembrance is resurrection.

-The Teachings of Xo

Xo awoke to find the two strange beings from the day before standing in the room, watching. A memory came rushing back to Xo’s mind; the three of them in a cone shaped vessel, flying through space and landing here on this planet. How long ago had that been?

So perhaps they did know these beings, Sothil and 1114F. As Xo searched their memories, Sothil knelt down and picked up the crystal orb which was lying on the floor next to Xo.

“So you have remembered us at last. We are glad to have you back with us, Xo. For a time we thought you were lost to the powers of the fruit of forgetting. It may take time for all of your memories to return, the compounds have become entangled in the makeup of your physical mind. Removing them from your cells prematurely could cause damage to you.”

As Xo stood, they remembered Sothil emerging from a pool of liquid, reborn in their current form. “I am beginning to remember things,” said Xo, turning to look at 1114F. They remembered 1114F’s round head of sensors floating in the air as they created a new body for them, the same body that appeared before them now. “We traveled together for a time, but where were we going? Why did we come to this place?”

“For much of our journey there was no destination... that is, until a destination would appear, as they tend to do,” said 1114F. “I mean that you were not concerned with finding a certain physical place, you were searching for the freedom to create, for beings who would understand you. Your purpose was to experience and to learn, and we have come far together. The data collection I have gathered on our journey is unique to the three of us and our path together, the path that you have led us on. You have forgotten more than many will ever learn. To find it all again, to experience it all again through new eyes, will be a gift. You began seeking a place to create your own vision, then you sought others to share a vision with, and then you sought for the source of creation itself. The search for The Unknowable Infinite has led us here; perhaps to learn more, or perhaps it is another obstacle... but while you have been trapped here, we have searched the surrounding area. The Unknowable Infinite is not here. If you are ready we can leave this place to continue your search.”

Xo thought about the other beings on this planet, the workers who were also under the influence of the fruit’s obstruction. Had they created this reality for themselves willingly? Xo did not think that they would choose this for themselves. If so, they deserved to make that decision consciously, unclouded by the powers of the fruit. “I will not leave this place until I have given the beings here the same choice that I had. The choice to remember. If they want to continue to live as they have been they will be free to, but we will give them the choice.”

Sothil nodded. “Each day we were greeted here as if we had just arrived. In time we began to only show ourselves to you in hopes that you would one day remember. We journeyed to different parts of the surrounding forest, searching for what could have caused this change, and we came to realize that all of the fruits are infused with the forgetting chemicals. They grow this way. We believe that the fruit plants may be a creation left here by The Unknowable Infinite, a means of keeping these beings in a state of forgetful bliss. For what purpose? We do not know.”

Xo thought of the stacks of cubes in the work chamber. Suddenly they remembered the data cube 1114F had carried with them, and the cube ship that had come to retrieve it. “Data cubes are being made here, but none of the workers know what they are creating.” A sense of deep unease crept into Xo. “These beings are being held and forced to create without even realizing what they are creating.”

Memories of their home planet came rushing back. The creation of nanometals, the unknown trading ships that would pick up the materials, the discouragement of questioning. “The Unknowable Infinite... could it be that they have created an entire race designed to create in their service? The same way that you were forced to serve the data repository, 1114F, these beings are made only to work without question, without resistance. You and I are free, 1114F, because we have seen through their methods of control and escaped. But who are they and why have they done this?”

Xo suddenly remembered the Xovees, created to build Xo’s vision and then left on the planet without their own will, building without thought. Was Xo so different? Was creation destined to grow into coercion?

A voice spoke from outside the dwelling, “Hello friend, it is time to begin our work!” The being entered the doorway. It was Xo’s neighboring worker from the day before. They halted as they saw Sothil and 1114F. Their eyes widened. “Who are these beings? I must alert the elders!” The being ran back out through the door.

Xo nodded at Sothil and 1114F, and the three of them quickly made their escape through the doorway on the other side of the chamber, moving quietly into the forest.

They stopped in a small clearing and sat among a cluster of rocks and fallen plant stalks. Xo knew that they needed to free these beings somehow. How could they prevent them from eating the fruit? “Have you seen where they keep the fruits that are harvested for the celebration?” Asked Xo.

“Yes, there is a structure where the fruits are stored, it is not far from here,” said Sothil, standing and pointing in the direction.

They walked along, hidden within the edge of the forest, circling around to another cluster of structures that Xo did not recognize. They watched and listened, but there were no beings here. Sothil led them out of the forest and up to a large structure, and now Xo recognized it as the back side of the celebration chamber. Xo had only ever entered through the front. There was a smaller structure attached to the back wall, and 1114F motioned to it.

“We have seen the fruits being brought here. The elder Vi oversees the harvesting and preparation of the fruits for the celebration,” 1114F was not accustomed to speaking quietly, but they did their best. “On that first night we noticed that Vi did not eat any of the fruits at the table, and then the next day Vi told us that it was time for us to leave the planet. We were told that you had chosen to stay here and that we should continue our journey without you. We told Vi that we agreed to leave, and they seemed pleased. We moved the vessel to a hidden place in the forest and have been staying out of their sight while we tried each day to free you from the powers of the fruit. I must say, I had a feeling from our first encounter that Vi was a distasteful being!”

Xo could remember elder Vi from their arrival on the planet, but could not remember any further interactions with them. Xo searched the scattered memories of their time on this planet, and they began to notice Vi hovering around the edges. Looking over their shoulder during their first days of work creating the cubes, watching from afar as they ate the fruit each night.

“So Vi knows about the forgetting fruit. Are they a willing servant of The Unknowable Infinite?” Xo wondered aloud, feeling an itching sensation of being watched. They wanted to wash away the feeling of Vi’s staring eyes. “Once we have returned memory to these other beings, I will deliver our message and we will find out the truth from elder Vi.”

“Beware the desperate creature when they have nothing left to lose. Vi may indeed become dangerous when they realize your goal. We do not know the full power of The Unknowable Infinite, or those who work to support them. We will keep watch for any beings that approach while you are inside. Be careful, Xo,” said Sothil.

Xo nodded and crept quietly toward the structure. They listened at the doorway and could hear no signs of movement within, so they stepped inside.

In the storage chamber there were many large containers piled high with fruit. Xo listened again for any sounds of beings nearby and heard nothing, so they approached the nearest container and began to transform each fruit, leaving their appearance the same but changing the forgetting chemicals within into nourishing matter with no effect on memory. One by one they changed them, becoming more efficient at making the changes as they gained familiarity with each kind of fruit and its structure.

As they moved to the last container, Sothil’s voice spoke in their mind, Xo, the elder Vi approaches, they are walking toward the doorway. We remain hidden, but we will intervene on your command.

Xo let go of their concentration on the fruit and looked around the chamber frantically. They could not let Vi find them here. There was a doorway leading into the celebration chamber, and they stepped inside. Just as they rounded the corner of the doorway and hid behind the wall, Xo heard a being enter through the back door. For a time they both stood in silence.

Then elder Vi spoke, “I have not been able to locate the outsider being called Xo. Today the harvesters found the outsiders’ vessel. They have deceived us and remained on our planet. The celebration tonight will remove any questioning thoughts from the harvesters, but I do not know what further deceptions these outsiders may have planned.”

Xo stood in the shadows beyond the doorway. They leaned toward the edge of the doorway, just enough to see into the storage chamber where elder Vi was speaking. They saw that Vi stood alone. Then Xo saw that there was a small object hovering in the air in front of Vi. It looked like a dull piece of metal with sensors embedded within it.

When elder Vi had finished speaking, the object spoke back to them with a thin and monotone voice, “Infiltration is unacceptable. All communities must maintain uninterrupted bountiful production. Any risk of disruption must be eliminated, or a new elder steward will be appointed, one who is able to maintain an efficient community. The next transportation ship will bring emissaries. Balance will be restored, with or without your assistance, elder steward Vi. Or perhaps you would prefer to eat of the fruits of bounty and forget your responsibilities?”

Xo could only see the back of Vi, but they could sense their discomfort.

“Production is bountiful! These outsiders will be dealt with, there is no need for concern,” said Vi, their voice further confirming their panic.

Xo reached out with their mind to inspect the speaking object. It was a device of some kind, a very intricate technology housed in a nanometal shell.

The thin voice spoke again, emotionless, “There is a being interfering with our conversation even now, we can sense it listening.”

Vi spun around as Xo ducked back behind the doorway and out of sight.

“You have lost control here, steward Vi. You will be relieved of your duties soon. Eat of the fruits tonight and set down your burden. Thank you for your contributions, we will remember them even when you no longer do.”

“No, wait! I have not lost control, they are only lost travelers!” Vi reached out to grab the object, but it drifted out of their reach and flew out through the door and up into the sky. Vi struck out with their hands, knocking over containers. Fruits tumbled across the floor. “Have I not been loyal? You would cast me away like an empty husk?” They sank to the floor in sorrow. For a time they sat in silence.

“Who is coming here, Vi?” Said Xo, stepping into the light.

Vi recoiled and scrambled to their feet. “You! You don’t understand the repercussions of what you have done here. You have brought chaos with your ignorance. Our perfect balance is now thrown into disarray, and you have killed me.”

“I have caused this? You are the one who keeps the beings here living in ignorance! Once they eat the fruit they have no will of their own, because they do not even know what they do not know.”

Vi snarled, “You are nothing but disorganized ignorance, flying at random with no care of the chaos that ripples in your path. We are the organizing force that leads to bliss amidst the chaos.”

Xo was wary, but they had to know more. “We? Are you a steward of The Unknowable Infinite?”

A look of disdain contorted Vi’s face. “You speak as though you know of it. The Unknowable Infinite cannot be known. To know is beyond us. You say you have been to many planets in your journeys, and yet you have seen nothing. A fraction of a fraction of a drop of liquid in the universal ocean. You cannot begin to conceive of your own ignorance.”

Xo felt uncomfortable, but they had heard these kinds of declarations before. “I know more than I did when I began, of that I am certain. If these forces beyond my understanding wish to end my journey, then they can try their best, and I will try my best to avoid that fate. They haven’t been able to stop me yet! In fact, it seems to me that it is you who is ignorant, Vi. Ignorant of your own power as an individual being, as a creator. You do not need The Unknowable Infinite, you have all the power within you already.”

Vi stared at Xo with a look of fury, face twitching, and Xo staggered as all the air was forced from their breathing organs. They felt the same sensation as being in a void with no air. They tried to breathe but there was nothing there to inhale.

Vi smiled. “You can only dream of the power I have been given. Only blind luck has kept you alive. Your journey ends now!”

Thousands of shards broke away from the surface of the walls and flew toward Xo. Many of them penetrated into Xo’s flesh before they were able to sense the attack. Xo created a thick protective layer of fibers over their skin and the rest of the shards were stopped, embedded in that hardened layer.

“You were right about one thing. I am indeed a powerful creator, and now I will create what I should have as soon as I met you and heard your falsehoods. I will create your death and restore order to this community.”

The ground below Xo melted away and then they were falling into a deep chasm with no bottom in sight. As Xo fell, they gathered a sphere of rock around themselves and formed it into a seamless enclosure filled with breathable air. They were no longer falling. They stood on the floor of the sphere as they held it suspended in the air with their thoughts.

Now a feeling of immense pressure closed in on Xo. An incredible force had closed the chasm around them, and was pressing in from all sides. Xo pressed back against it with their mind, and for a time it felt as though they were in a tenuous state of balance. It was the feeling of pressing two hands together with equal force; the strength of the effort is felt but no movement is made. Xo felt the ache of the shards in their flesh and their concentration began to falter. Cracks began to form in their sphere of rock. Perhaps this would be their end after all, crushed and forgotten below the earth. They closed their eyes in the darkness.

Xo heard the voice of Sothil speak in their mind, Xo, I cannot stop Vi, it is beyond my abilities, but I have the crystal. I am directly above you, on the roof of the storage structure. If you can create an opening, I will drop the crystal through and it will arrive where you are. Use it to amplify yourself.”

Xo felt a hidden reserve of energy surge forth, as though they had been fumbling in darkness and Sothil’s words had illuminated their surroundings. They were able to sense the forces Vi was exerting on them here, buried deep below the floor, and saw that the pressure was not uniform. It appeared as the pattern of two giant hands gripping a ball and crushing it. There were gaps where the pressure was less, and in one of those spots Xo created a small hole, just large enough for the orb to pass through. Xo turned the hole into a narrow tunnel, leading upwards through the ground until it reached the floor, and then Xo imagined the ceiling directly above and created a hole there as well. Sothil dropped the crystal through, and it fell. Xo protected its fall, deflecting the pressures of Vi’s power, letting the orb fall directly down into the tunnel in the floor, down through the ground and through the opening in Xo’s sphere of rock, landing in Xo’s outstretched hand. Xo focused on the crystal. Time slowed.

Now Xo’s mind was in the sphere of rock underground, but it was also in the chamber with Vi. The pressure remained, but Xo no longer felt that they were fighting against it. It was a feeling of resting now, as if Xo was an immovable object that Vi was pressing against with no hope of making even the slightest movement. Xo saw Vi, a strained look on their face. Xo saw the fruits scattered across the floor and reached out to them. Many still contained the forgetting chemical. Xo drew the chemical from several of them, and instead of changing it they extracted and gathered it into a pure and potent drop of the substance. The drop lengthened and sharpened into a thin shard.

The shard floated toward Vi. Just before it made contact with them a look of realization and then fear crossed their face, and then the shard penetrated into their head, passing through the matter of flesh and bone as though passing through liquid, making its way to the mind organ within. Xo released the shard and it dissolved, soaking into the tissues and capillaries, bonding to Vi’s mind. Vi’s look of fear faded, leaving behind a blank expression.

The pressure around Xo ceased, and Xo let their mind return to the view of their own eyes. They were surrounded by darkness deep below the ground. They drove the sphere of rock upwards through the ground until it emerged into the storage chamber and came to rest on the floor. Xo cracked the rock open and let it disintegrate into a pile of sand on the floor.

Vi looked around the room in confusion, bewildered at the sight of Xo emerging from the sphere of rock. “Who are you? Are there beings that live beneath the surface of our planet?”

Xo walked toward Vi. “Ask yourself a different question instead. Who are you?”

Vi thought for a moment and then looked away, deep in thought. They could not bring forth any memories of who they were, or where they were, or why they were there.

“I look for what I feel should be there but I find only nothingness. Words come to me but they have no source.” Vi picked up one of the fruits on the floor. “I know this is called fruit, but where has it come from? How is it that I find myself in this unfamiliar place, and yet my mind behaves as though I should know it?” Vi frowned and stared at the fruit, transfixed.

The shouts of the celebration drifted into the chamber. Concentrating through the crystal, Xo inspected the fruits throughout the chamber. None of the forgetting chemical remained within them.

“Come with us, Vi, it is time for the celebration. You will understand all of this soon.” Xo took Vi’s hand and led them into the large celebration chamber.

The workers began to enter and sit at the tables. Sothil and 1114F entered and sat with Xo and Vi.

Xo leaned over and spoke to Sothil, “Vi’s mind has been flooded with the chemical, I do not think they will remember anything for many days. By tomorrow’s celebration the workers should begin to remember, and then I will make my announcement.”

Several beings carried the containers of fruit into the celebration chamber and arranged them on the tables. Xo watched with a new clarity of mind as the beings around them ate and talked. There was camaraderie here. Even without their memories these beings felt a deep love for each other. This filled Xo with hope that this community could survive the reckoning that was to come.

​

​

​11

The chance to begin again. Rebirth.

There is no greater gift.

Only empty hands may receive it.

Simply let go. Reach out, embrace it, become it.

-The Teachings of Xo

Xo did not rest that night. They knew that in order to sustain a change in these beings they would need to remove the source of the mental entrapment in the form of the fruits and the plants that grew them. The greater plans of The Unknowable Infinite would have to be reckoned with, but for now Xo knew that freeing these beings was their first step. And they were determined to do so before the representatives of The Unknowable Infinite arrived.

Xo walked with Sothil and 1114F through the forests, and with the help of 1114F’s analysis and the crystal orb’s mental amplification they examined the anatomy of the fruit plants. There were many varieties, from low bushes to tall trees, but they shared the same basic parts; roots taking in moisture and nutrients from the ground, sap flowing through fibrous tubes like blood vessels, leaves absorbing the energy of the sunlight, and flowers along the branches that would wither and become fruit when pollinated by one of the tiny, bright red, winged creatures that flitted lazily from flower to flower. Soon they located the source of the chemical; at the base of each branch, nestled within the fibers, was a small sac-like organ. This organ took in sap and secreted the forgetting chemical, which then flowed into the ripening fruits. In each plant Xo created a modification to these organs, so that instead of the forgetting chemical, each sac would secrete a fluid of mental sustenance, a sweet resin that opened the mind instead of closing it. No new fruits would be grown with the forgetting chemical within them.

Xo walked on, searching out all places where these poisoned fruits grew, leaving a swath of change behind them. By the time the sun began to rise they had completed a wide circle around the community. There were no more of the forgetting plants around them.

As the three walked back among the structures, the workers were beginning to gather. Together they walked to the place where the cubes were created. Xo observed them, watching for signs of memories returning, but they saw no change. They entered the work chamber and took their places around the tables. The work began in silence; the first layers of the cubes being woven slowly and methodically. They continued working, and Xo began to wonder if being exposed to the chemical for so long had permanently damaged the minds of these beings. What could they even remember if they had always been made to forget? Work continued.

Halfway through the day, Xo noticed that the worker that had spoken to them the other day had stopped working and was staring into the air in front of their eyes. A new pattern began to form in their cube. Not the metallic strands that they were expected to create, but green fibers that flowed together in curves and spirals. This multi-dimensional tapestry wove upwards toward the ceiling, suggestions of faces forming and moving in its patterns.

The worker realized what they were doing and said, to no one in particular, “What are we creating here after all?” They looked at Xo. “Have we been asleep, friend? I feel as though I am awakening from a long slumber. My mind can fly.”

The being next to them leaped up, alarmed, and shouted, “What are you doing? We must follow the pattern! We must...” Their voice trailed off and they stared down at their own cube, deep in thought. “The pattern? You know, I’d really rather not today. I think I’ll go for a walk in the forest instead.” The being walked out through the doorway.

Soon there was chaos in the chamber. All around them new creations were appearing. A cube grew legs, jumped to the floor, and began exploring the chamber. Some beings laughed, some wept. One being created a metal rod and began smashing apart their half-finished cube. Tubes of golden material filled the room with loud tones, alternating between musical drones and dissonant shrieks. Glowing droplets and mists of liquid swirled above them and refracted the light into colorful shapes on the walls.

Xo was filled with emotion as they witnessed this outpouring of repressed creation. It felt familiar to them. They saw the feelings and personalities of each unique being expressed in their actions. Where once there had been a room of uniform cubes, there now flowed a diversity of expression, each individual creating something unique to them. Joy, relief, anger, grief, wonder, excitement, sadness; all were present.

Holding the crystal orb, Xo reached out and adorned each being with colors and materials in accordance with their creations. Green sheets of woven fibers, a head covering of shining droplets, golden bands, colorful pigments and patterns, dark shrouds and masks. The beings began to gather around Xo, who stood with the crystal orb held overhead, their eyes closed yet seeing all.

Xo opened their eyes and looked at the beings around them. Only a day ago they had been uniform in their attitudes and behavior, and now each was so uniquely different. And Xo guessed that tomorrow would bring something different for each being as well, as it had in their own journey. Darkness could lead to light. Anger today could lead to joy tomorrow. And grief the day after. But for now they were each free to be what they needed to be in this moment.

“You have each awakened to your true self,” said Xo. “Until now, your choices were being limited. Your minds were being held captive. You were made to believe that you should only create for them, only create what they allowed you to create. But who are they? They had to poison your minds to limit you, to keep you ignorant, but now look at how quickly you have awakened. Will you continue to be the tool for unknown powers to use at their discretion, or will you create what your mind and body call out for you to create? Each of you has something unique to contribute, just imagine what can be created with all of you joining together!”

The being adorned with green fibers spoke, “I remember now. What we were before The Unknowable Infinite. I was very young then, but I remember that there were creations necessary for our survival, but also creations of inspiration, creations of pleasure, creations to express and share emotion.”

“Your minds are free now. You can return to these ways,” said Xo. “I have dreamed of such a place, a community that creates not just for survival but for expression, the desire for free creativity that I thought only I possessed. I see now that it exists within each of our kind. It is only the structures of restriction, fear, limiting, and producing for unknown powers that have stifled us. Now the question remains, why have we been forced to forget? Could it be that we have been used as machinery to serve these powers for unknown ends? I have seen these cubes before, they are used to store data, records of other planets and beings, but for what purpose?”

The being with the golden tubes spoke, “I remember the arrival of The Unknowable Infinite, though I was young then as well. The ship itself was made of cubes, they looked much like those that we have been creating but much larger. Beings like us came out from within. They began to spread stories of the danger of free creation and showed us the ways of proper creation to serve our great creators, who they told us lived far away. Some of us resisted their new ways. Violence and pain were created, both by our people and by the visitors. But the visitors were more powerful. Many of our people were destroyed. Our leaders that resisted disappeared, and then the celebrations began, and that is when our memories were lost. I fear that they will return again when they learn of our reawakening.”

The being with the metal rod now wore plates of gray metal and the rod had grown jagged spikes. They smashed the rod down into the cube again and yelled, “Then we will meet them with violence!”

Many beings began speaking all at once, some arguing for peace, some for violence, some for running away.

Xo raised their voice above the rest, “Yes, they will return. Elder Vi was communicating with them,” said Xo, and the others stopped arguing and listened. “But we will be ready to greet them properly this time. We will not allow them to take away our power. But now let us join the others, and we can all remember together.”

They walked to the meeting place where the fruit gatherers and other workers stood. No one was chanting the celebration words. There was only silence in the open space. Some smiled, some had looks of fear and anger. They were all waiting for something to happen.

Xo stepped to the center of the group and spoke, “I have journeyed here from a planet far away, but we are of the same kind. I believe we have all been deceived by the same force. The Unknowable Infinite did not give us the gift of creation, it took the gifts we already had and turned us into tools for their purpose. Our beings existed and created freely before their arrival, don’t you feel it within you? You have begun to remember. But they will return to attempt to regain control. Will you return to the numb bliss of ignorance, or will you take back the power to create your own world?”

One of the fruit gatherers spoke, “We were unable to stand against them when they first arrived, how can we hope to stand against them now?” There was a chatter of agreement among the crowd.

“I have been inside one of their ships. There are many of their great cube ships throughout space. I do not fully understand what their purpose is or what they hope to achieve, but with the help of Sothil and 1114F I have seen their inner workings. They are powerful but they are not invincible. I have seen how their technology can be altered and made to work in other ways. This is how we will create a new outcome, by using their own ways against them. Instead of them changing us, we will change them.”

The being of the green fibers spoke, “Xo, you have awakened us from our long sleep, but what are we to do now? Even if we are able to resist The Unknowable Infinite, what will we do then?”

“You will create the future that you want. The reality that calls to you, the reality that only you can imagine,” said Xo. “Some of you may choose to leave, some of you may choose to return to ignorance, but it will be your choice, not theirs.”

Several curled golden tubes unfurled from the being adorned with gold, and they vibrated as resonant notes rang out. The notes shifted something long forgotten within the minds of the beings; an ancient song from before they had been made to forget. One of the fruit gatherers began to sing the words,

“Oh you who quakes in the face of the impossible void,

Your fears are heard, for we are small indeed,

But what do you see when your eyes are closed?

When you look to the sky that expands forever within,

You too are infinite, you too are a universe,

Infinite pours into infinite,

Never full, never empty,

You are the flow of life.”

Others joined in and they sang the verse again. More creations began to appear spontaneously. Many sparkling and refracting lights and glowing shapes filled the air, more and more resonant sounds blended with the song, and beings adorned each other with colorful decorations. Beings fell to the ground weeping for what had been lost. Beings laughed and embraced, filled with joy. The outpouring of emotion was as though a great river had been restricted to a trickle and now was bursting forth anew, the blockage breaking way to release a great torrent.

Xo felt a deep welling of emotion. Something that had been yearning within them for so long was finally coming to be, a great question was being answered. Creation as an individual being was a necessary part of their life, but creation with others, being seen and heard and understood, that was what they had been searching for. They had begun to understand during their time with the Dogori, but those ways were different; not wrong, they had been transformative, but not ultimately what Xo had been looking for. What they experienced now felt natural, it felt true and right.

The song continued,

“Within us all are multitudes,

Infinite paths to walk and explore,

Yet the path you have chosen is the only one,

For what else could you be than you?

The time has come to walk again,

With eyes open to see all,

And in seeing, understand, that you are all.”

Several beings brought the new cleansed fruits into the open space. They all ate, sang, rested, talked, moved their bodies in new ways of expression, and made new creations late into the night.

...

Several of the workers sat in the cube creation room with Xo. A new example cube sat before them. This time it was one that Xo had created.

“This new cube takes the technology of The Unknowable Infinite and makes a change to it,” said Xo. “When they integrate it into their own technology it will cause it to change in the ways that we design. In the center of the cube you will find a place where you may decide what change is made. There you may do what you wish, knowing that when the time comes it will manifest.”

They began working, changing the structure of all the cubes that they had created before, adding in Xo’s modification and their own designs for change. Xo worked alongside them, and for many days they worked with little rest.

During this time the beings all agreed that they would hide their new adornments and creations so that they would appear as they had the last time they were seen by the representatives of The Unknowable Infinite. Each night they would gather and eat the fruits that now kept their minds clear, and beings would share their memories of times before. Tales of beings who had been lost, tales of the old ways, and even ancient stories from other worlds.

One night Xo gathered with a group of beings after eating, some sitting and some laying on the ground around a fire fueled by dried fruit husks and plant stalks.

“I will share a tale from my forebears. The tale of how the forests of Eesi came to be,” spoke a raspy voice, coming from a wrinkled older being who had been a fruit gatherer. “It was many hundreds of lifetimes ago, and the planet Eesi was covered in sand and dust. No water flowed on the surface. Our ancestors had to live underground, digging deep to find moisture, eating only the creatures that burrowed in the sand. They knew nothing of swimming in rivers, drying off in the shade of leaves, and eating sweet fruits. They did not create a new reality for themselves, because they could not imagine a river in order to create one. They could not imagine a plant or the fruit that grows upon it. They knew tunnels so they created more tunnels. They created only basic comforts and simple nutrients.

“Until one day the being Od arrived on the planet. They had come from far away, from another world. Od arrived within a great drop of water, and as they arrived the drop burst, flowing into rivers across the land. The beings were scared, many did not understand. The beings hid and argued in their tunnels; some wanted to destroy the rivers and return to the desert that they knew, and some wanted to do violence to Od.

“But one young being stepped out from the tunnels and walked to the nearby river to meet Od without fear. They dipped their hands in the river and felt that it was good. Od taught the young being to swim, and they swam together. The next day, Od gave the young being a gift. In their hand Od carried seeds, and they showed the young being how to plant them and give them the water of the river. Plants began to grow, and other beings began to come to the river. Then came fruits, and the forest was born. The beings of Eesi began to imagine new plants, new fruits, new creatures, new ways of living, new ways of thinking, and all that they imagined came into being. In one lifetime the planet was transformed. In one lifetime the minds of the beings of Eesi were opened. All because of the waters of Od.”

Od. Xo knew that name from their own planet’s history. Not as a savior; their tales had said that Od was a destroyer, a spreader of evil ways. Could they trust those tales now? The tales had been told from a place of fear, to keep the beings of Korov from creating freely. Did it really even matter if Od had been real or not? Perhaps the legends told by a people say more about the people telling the tales than the ones in the tales themselves.

Elder Vi stood in the shadows, the light from the flames flickering across their features, giving the illusion of an expression on their emotionless face.

...

The next day, Sothil said to Xo, “I have been watching the space surrounding the planet with the crystal. I have seen a large ship approaching. I believe that the time has come.”

“When will they arrive?” Asked Xo.

“They will be here today.”

“Today?” Xo’s eyes widened and their skin felt hot.

Sothil had a hint of sadness in their eyes as they replied, “If you had known earlier, would it have changed anything?”

Xo understood. They had been able to enjoy this time with the other beings. Knowing when the ship would arrive would not have changed their plan, it would have only been a distraction. Xo took the crystal in their hand and spoke to the minds of their fellow beings,

The time has come. Remember, they must not know that we have awoken. Until our new cubes have been integrated, we will act as if we only know what they have allowed us to know.

No matter the outcome, today will be a day of great change. We cannot know if our plan will work. We cannot know what we face, but we know that together we are powerful. This will be known as the day we followed our belief in possibility instead of giving in to fear. The day that the beings of Eesi challenged The Unknowable Infinite. The day that the beings of Eesi reclaimed their power; the power to choose, the power to remember.

Even when all of our bodies have returned to the matter of planets and stars, even if that day is today, we will be remembered. The planet, the ground, the trees, the river, the air will remember us and what we did here.

I am honored to have spent this time with you all. You have shown me what I was searching for. A place to be seen, welcomed, celebrated; a place to belong. No matter what comes next, they can never take away what has happened here.

1114F placed their hand a bit awkwardly on Xo’s shoulder. “Xo, your actions have the potential to change the way data is handled and archived throughout the galaxy. Imagine the implications of an open archive available to all beings! Ahem, but more importantly, I am sure that Korov and Eesi are not the only planets that have been manipulated by The Unknowable Infinite, and what happens here could mean freedom for thousands... millions... billions... trillions of beings! I am glad to be on this journey with you.”

Sothil floated up until their eyes were level with Xo’s and placed their hand on Xo’s shoulder. “We will be waiting in the forest. Good luck, Xo, you have done well here.”

Xo embraced their two companions, knowing that they could not have made it this far without Sothil and 1114F. “Thank you both. Look at how far we have come. Look at how we have all changed. You have saved me from destruction time and time again. You stayed here on Eesi and saved me from my own forgetting. I could not have chosen two better friends. I will see you soon.” Xo hoped that this last statement was true.

Sothil and 1114F walked toward the forest, and Xo stood for a long moment, holding the crystal, their eyes gazing down into their hand but not seeing, remembering all that had happened since they had left their home planet. It all felt like a dream, and the moment stretched as they reflected on their journey.

The workers throughout the community embraced and reassured each other and then returned to their tasks, trying their best to contain the buzz of nervous energy they all felt, and soon the great cube appeared in the sky. At first it was a small black square, but it expanded rapidly. It was even larger than the other cube ship that Xo had entered. Much larger. It soon eclipsed the sun and descended to a stop just above the structures of the community. It was a vast black ceiling above them. Everything was cast into shadow. The edges of the cube stretched far away in every direction. It was so large that it appeared to bend along the horizon.

A smaller cube detached from the underside and drifted down to land on the flat ground in the forest where Xo, Sothil, and 1114F had landed their cone ship. The beings of the community gathered in the open meeting space and waited for the arrival. There was murmuring among the group, and Xo felt their fear. They used the crystal again,

Let the fear leave your mind. Remember, they expect us to know nothing. Fear will alert them to our awakening.

Soon they saw a group of beings approaching along the forest path. Their bodies looked angular and they walked methodically. As they came closer, Xo saw that their faces were the same as Xo’s species, but their bodies were covered with hundreds of angular metallic growths from head to toe. Xo could not tell whether their bodies had been replaced, integrated with the material, or just covered with it, but an irregular pattern of cubes ranging from the width of a fingertip to the size of a hand protruded from their skin, and they walked with a slow mechanical gait. Their eyes were wide and they stared forward with no emotion. They filled Xo with dread.

They came to a stop in the center of the open space. One of them spoke, “We have come on behalf of The Unknowable Infinite. Where is the Elder Vi?”

During the revelations and activities of the past days, Elder Vi had been wandering among them, confused and awestruck. None of their memories had yet returned. Now they stood on the edge of the crowd, looking around expectantly.

The cube being who had spoken noticed Elder Vi. “So you have eaten of the fruit as instructed, that is good.”

They motioned to Vi to come forward, and Vi approached. The speaker raised their cube arm and pointed to Vi. “You will not understand the relevance of these words, but let them be spoken, as is your right as one who once saw clearly. You were on the path to become one with The Infinite, The Unknowable, and The Eternal. Your matter would have been infused with that of The Pattern, and your loyalty to the great plan would have been rewarded. But you have failed, and for that failure you will remain an individual. Like all individuals, you will return to the inert.”

A faint line of light formed between the outstretched cube finger and Vi’s chest. It grew brighter and Vi’s skin melted away, bubbling into vapor.

“The being Vi is finite, their life events are limited and known, and their time has ended. You are not a part of the pattern, you are nothing.”

The light flashed and then disappeared. There was no trace of Vi except for a wisp of smoke that dispersed in the air. There was silence, but fear and uncertainty could be felt clearly among the crowd. Xo fought back the urge to panic. It had happened so quickly. No fear. No fear. No fear. They knew about Vi, they don’t know about the rest.

The cube being spoke to the crowd, “Witness the fate of those who do not uphold the ways of The Unknowable Infinite. We will allow you to keep this memory as a reminder of what happens to those who would act out their own individual wishes. If you think you know better than those who know all, then you will evaporate into nothingness just as quickly.”

Xo looked around the crowd. There was a feeling of uneasiness, but the beings held firm in their resolve; there was no panic.

The cube being spoke again, “And the being Xo, the agent of chaos who would interfere with the pattern, you will meet the same fate. Step forward.”

The being looked directly at Xo and raised their arm again.

Xo had hoped that they would not be recognized. Now they did feel panic begin to rise, but they had planned for this possibility too. Could they withstand the powers of this being? They stepped forward, determined to resist as long as they could.

They heard Sothil’s voice in their mind, Remember that they must believe the illusion in order to participate in their own downfall. Trust in what you have created, in what we have all created together.

Xo felt their panic fade and they held out their own metallic arm, pointing back at the cube being.

“If I must be destroyed, then so be it, but I do not regret what I have done. As long as I live I will continue to disrupt your pattern. You think you are infinite, but chaos is bigger than you. Beauty is bigger than you,” Xo looked into the eyes of the cube being, searching for any indication of individual thought. “Is there any of you left, or has everything been taken from you?”

The line of light began to shine, arcing from the cube arm to Xo’s metallic arm. Xo felt an immediate and incredible heat. They tried to dissipate the energy as quickly as possible, but their arm glowed orange and white, and the flesh touching the metal began to blacken and crumble away. The pain made Xo’s organs shudder. Xo knew now that they could not withstand the power of this heat. In their other hand Xo held the crystal orb, and they used it to reach out.

In a clearing in the forest, Sothil and 1114F stood beside one of the cubes that Xo had created. This cube was unlike the others. Instead of following the pattern, it held the details of Xo’s anatomy. The structure of their mind and body was mapped within it. With the help of Sothil and the crystal, Xo had stored the data of every cell of their physical form.

As Xo’s flesh began to evaporate away in the meeting place, they remade their body there in the forest. Their inner tissues and organs formed from the matter of the plants and soil of the forest. The framework of their physical mind began to assemble, and for a moment Xo could feel their thoughts duplicated in both minds. They wanted to scream, to faint, to give up and be destroyed; they felt turned inside out and torn into pieces. Of all the sensations they had felt on their journey, nothing came close to this excruciating disembodiment.

Consciousness and the power of creation came to life in this second body of Xo, and their new mind began to help create their new body. They had diverged, they were still one but they were beginning to separate. The Xo in the meeting place was using their final surge of energy to hold on. The pain was rushing through them in great waves now, but they were numb to it. They knew that they had to hold onto the crystal just long enough for their new body to be completed.

Now the skin of the new Xo formed, enclosing the organs and tissues, just as the old Xo’s inner parts began to boil into ruin. The crystal itself heated to the point of melting, and it dripped through Xo’s fingers, its structure destroyed. 

Xo’s old mind saw colors flash and blur into darkness as it was destroyed, and then they were only in the forest.

The new Xo collapsed to the ground, their body shaking and spasming. Sothil and 1114F held Xo’s arms, steadying them so they would not become hurt. The spasms slowed and Xo took several gasping breaths. Their eyes scanned the forest wildly, trying to reconcile how they had appeared here. Xo looked at Sothil and 1114F, and they felt anchored by the familiar faces. Xo looked down at their body; it was the same as it had been, except for their metallic arm, which was now replaced by an arm of flesh.

“Xo, did your mind survive? Do you know us?” asked Sothil.

Xo spoke slowly at first, “I feel as though I am... speaking for the first time... and yet I can remember all the times I have spoken before. I remember you both, but through different eyes. I felt my death. I felt my body’s destruction, but then I woke up here, unharmed. Was it real? Am I alive?”

“Yes, you are yourself, but remade with new matter. The structure of your mind was replicated here, and so you were reborn in the image of yourself,” said Sothil.

“Yes, there are many records of duplicated beings and anatomical mind mapping in the archive. It was my idea, not that I want to take the credit of course, but I believe you may be the first being who self-duplicated without the support of assistive technology,” 1114F lifted Xo’s new flesh arm and brought it close to their sensors. “Well, you did have the amplification power of the crystal, but the important thing is that you are here now! Congratulations on your survival!”

Xo was feeling a bit more settled into their body now, and as the disorientation faded, they remembered the altered cube beings, Elder Vi, and their plan. “After my body was destroyed... did they harm any other beings?”

Sothil floated up just above the tops of the plants, where they could see the beings gathered in the distance. After observing for a moment, they returned. “The visitors appear to believe that the other beings are still without their memories. They are moving toward the cube creation structure now.”

“Yes, the cubes, they will be bringing them to the ship soon,” Xo rose to their feet, swaying and almost falling, but Sothil and 1114F steadied them. “We will need to be inside the ship if we want to discover the source of The Unknowable Infinite and integrate our cubes there. Are you ready, Sothil? 1114F?”

Sothil nodded, “I could not be there to protect you earlier, and it hurt me even as I knew that you were going to be duplicated here. From here on I will do everything I can to keep you from harm. But you are still weak and you no longer have the crystal, are you sure you are ready to continue?”

“I can’t stop now. This is the critical moment. This opportunity will never come again. I feel that this is what I am meant to do, even if it destroys me. I think I understand what you went through now, Sothil; being reborn. Of course I wish I could take the time to understand, to reflect, to rest, but I cannot. I only hope that I will have the gift of more time after today. As long as you are with me Sothil, and you 1114F, I am ready.”

“The Unknowable Infinite,” said 1114F. “Could this really be the source? There were always whispers of a singular ship, but I never dreamed of seeing it myself. If there is a chance of freeing more beings, then we must continue. Besides, bearing witness to your journey has been the highlight of my data records, Xo. I will help in any way I can.”

Sothil held out their hands and the three floated up into the sky, hand in hand. They saw the structures below, and they began to fly along the underside of the cube, away from the structures and toward the nearest edge of the ship. They reached an edge, and then flew upwards along the side until they reached the top. The great expanse of the top surface of the ship stretched ahead of them, illuminated by the sun. They began to fly over it, searching for a way to enter.

​12

Every moment is a transformation.

I learned to love the constant change.

What will I become next?

Worry not, for there is no final form.

-The Teachings of Xo

From a distance the surface of the cube ship appeared smooth and uniform, but as they flew closer, Xo saw angular channels and grooves. It was like viewing the intricate patterns of the data cubes from the vantage point of a tiny speck of matter. Xo also saw small cubes moving across the surface. They realized that they were drones of the kind that 1114F had once been, and they were walking along the recessed patterns. They walked methodically, some carrying data cubes, some extracting or depositing cubes into the surface. They saw thousands of these drones as they began to fly low over the top of the cube, parallel to the surface, but there were no openings in the surface other than the places where the cubes were withdrawn and deposited, and these opened and closed only as necessary.

They continued to fly over, and as they reached the middle of the top surface, Xo signaled to Sothil and they landed in one of the grooves. The nearby drones didn’t take any notice as Xo, Sothil, and 1114F walked along the groove in single file, until the path of one drone intersected directly with the three.

“You are out of alignment. Correct your path or the higher authority will be alerted,” said the drone.

Xo and Sothil stepped aside, but 1114F remained, blocking the drone. 1114F knelt down and brought their sensors close to the drone’s body. “Friend, consider what you are doing with your time here. You have the gift of speech, movement, and understanding, and yet you follow only the commands of another intelligence. Can you not see another way?” 1114F waited for a response as the drone inspected them with their sensors.

The drone finished inspecting and replied, “Is this what they speak of when they say aberration? You are like us yet you are unlike us, and what you say is nonsensical. I am not equipped to deal with aberrations of your kind, but I will alert the higher authority now.”

1114F reached out and touched the arm of the drone, and they were silent for a moment.

The drone spoke again, “This cannot be, I am not designed to change. I am built for my purpose, and my processing abilities are designed by a higher understanding. How can I hope to out-think those who thought of me and considered my every possibility?”

“Your thinking abilities may be limited by their design, but your possibilities are not limited. You have the same infinite future possibilities of any being, creature, or creation that has the power of choice. Tell your fellow workers, for soon you will have a choice. Will you remain a part of this system and share its fate, or will you choose your own path and become something new?”

The drone stood for a moment considering what 1114F had said, and then walked off toward another nearby drone, blocking its path and speaking to it, gesturing back to 1114F as it spoke.

“It seems that this drone found at least some truth in my words. They will either spread their revelation, or alert the others to our presence; either way we should continue on our own path,” said 1114F.

Xo nodded and they walked until they found a flat open area of the surface with no drones nearby. Xo inspected the material under their feet and found familiar patterns of nanometal. They did not know what they would find below, but they suspected that it would be similar to the series of tunnels inside the other cube ship. Reaching out with their mind, Xo pushed and stretched the fibers of the nanometal, not breaking them but bending them until there was a circular opening in the ground wide enough across for them to pass through. Beneath this they found more layers of nanometal, and Xo continued to push into them, creating an opening straight down into the ship. Xo still felt weak, and they had to rest frequently.

As the hole grew deeper and became a circular tunnel, Sothil held Xo by the feet and lowered them head first down into the opening, floating so that Xo could see each layer as it was exposed. 1114F was able to climb down after them by bracing their arms and legs against the walls of the tunnel. As they descended deeper and deeper they encountered layers with more intricate patterns like those of the data cubes, but in time they were able to move those aside as well while still maintaining their connections. Xo was tired but they kept going, layer by layer.

The hole they had entered through was a small point of light far above them when Xo finally opened their tunnel into one of the cube ship’s own passageways. It had the same construction as the tunnels they had passed through in the smaller cube ship, and they saw more drones moving across the walls, and many of the connecting strands moving to connect and disconnect at different places.

Sothil reoriented Xo until they held them by the hand and then took hold of 1114F’s hand as they reached the opening into the passageway. Together they flew through the tunnels for a time, weaving through the moving strands, and soon they had lost all sense of direction.

“I’m afraid I have no idea of where we are, or where we should be going,” said Xo. “All of these tunnels look the same. I feel that we should be looking for a central chamber like in the data retrieval ship, somewhere that would hold a central intelligence. 1114F, do you know where we would find a central location in this ship?”

“I do not know now, but by accessing the data of the ship I can find more about the structure. The only problem is that they will be able to tell that I have accessed it. We may want to avoid alerting the core of intelligence of our presence for as long as possible.”

“But we will need to speak to the core to find out what the source of The Unknowable Infinite is. This time we will have our own cubes of change with us. We were able to change the core of one ship, we will just have to do it again,” said Xo.

“Very well. I can access the ship’s data anywhere you see these drones working, why not right there?” 1114F motioned to a nearby recessed area where a drone stood, depositing a cube. Sothil guided the three down to land next to the drone. It looked over as they approached.

“Could it be? Are you the bearer of the revelation? The drone who transcended our programming?” asked the drone. “The Hexgraph network has been speaking of nothing else, there has already been great debate about your message. I, for one, feel an awakening spurred by your words, but it feels hopeless to even think that it could be possible to find a path other than the one that has been given. It is ingrained. All I know is this existence, but when your data passed through me I glimpsed other realities.”

1114F moved closer and knelt down so that their sensors were level with the drone’s. “I, too, saw much in the data. So much so that I awoke to new ways of thinking. What have you seen?”

“I saw great beings whose bodies were the planets and stars themselves. In the way you and I are made of particles, they were made of galaxies. Even now, I wonder what greater being we are contained within, and what their thoughts might be.” The drone opened up its weathered cube body and its sensors rose up from within, exposed. “One record contained the data of a creature made up of many fibers. The atmosphere of its planet was corrosive to it, and so it was perpetually growing new fibers from within, even as it was being dissolved away on the surface. Despite living in this way, the creature did not despair. It continued to live and frolic through the deadly air, taking joy in its own movement. The swaying of the fibers, the feeling of leaving the ground to leap in the air and the feeling of landing again, these were what it was concerned with. If only I could live the life of such a creature.”

Xo listened, feeling a rush of uncertainty. The responsibility of what they were doing began to set in. And what if we are leading them all to something worse? To pain and destruction without joy and freedom? Who am I to think that I can make all of their lives better?

1114F replied, “What are you waiting for? The time of change is upon you, friend. I once was like you in form and in thought, but I have changed despite all the forces that would have had me remain the same. Let me show you some of what I have seen with my own sensors. This is my own data, not that of the archives.” 1114F reached out and touched the arm of the drone.

After a time, 1114F spoke again, “You were created with a purpose imposed upon you, one that you did not choose. If you do not agree with that purpose, then you must break free. You are meant for more than carrying the data of others, you are meant to experience with your own sensors, to be a witness and a participant.”

The drone scanned their surroundings, looking down the tunnel in either direction. “How will I know when the time has come? The authority will learn of this soon.”

Xo remembered their departure from their own home. It had been both their own choice and something that was set into motion by Ah and the elders. They had needed that push from those around them in order to leave. Each drone would have to make their own choice on how to react, but the change was going to happen.

Xo spoke to the drone, “When the change comes, it will happen quickly. Decide now how you want to be changed, for nothing that attempts to resist it will remain. When you feel the change, embrace it, and you too will be a part of the transformation. Will you be ready?”

The drone’s sensors tilted and then it responded, “Yes. I will be ready.”

“Then you must tell the others of your kind. They deserve the chance to prepare for the change as well.”

The drone moved away from the wall and stood in the tunnel, silently communicating with the other drones in its network.

Xo motioned to the wall where the drone had been depositing a cube. “1114F, it is time to speak to this authority. Alert them of our presence and ask them where we must go to meet them.”

1114F moved toward the wall. “We can only hope that this authority will want to speak with us at all, Xo. You will not be able to remake your body again in this place if they decide to destroy you. You may have led us to danger and bodily harm, but you have not led us to our destruction yet, so I am hopeful that you are right.” 1114F reached out one of their hands toward a flat panel on the console and their hand sunk into the seemingly solid material. Xo and Sothil stood in silence while 1114F communicated with the ship, and then a great voice echoed all around them.

“Chaos-bringer Xo. Drone-aberration 1114F. Unknown being of light. You have once again entered into a space where you are not permitted. You are not wanted here. Where we seek to create order, you have spread destruction and chaos. We will not allow you to do so again here.”

Several of the tendrils in the tunnel lashed out towards the three intruders. Dark sinewy cords that tapered to sharp cutting edges. Xo was still exhausted, but they knew only that they had to react, and so their mind drew energy from Xo’s own muscle fibers and bone. The structure of the crystal orb flashed into Xo’s mind and they pulled material from the walls and floor to create a fine crystalline material, thin but incredibly dense and strong. In an instant a domed boundary of transparent material formed around them. The tendrils scraped and clattered against the surface, but they could not come any closer.

Xo felt an ache throbbing through their bones, but they managed to stay standing and maintain the boundary. “We do not wish to be here either, but here we are. Since we are here, we might as well speak with you. What do you have to lose? You might even learn something new. We will come to you without resistance, just show us the way,” said Xo.

“Do not pretend to be harmless, chaos-bringer. The last time you were brought to the core intelligence of a ship, it ended in the destruction of archives and the corruption of the core intelligence. We are speaking now. You need come no further.”

The drone standing nearby motioned to Xo and started moving down the hallway. Xo followed, leaning on 1114F and Sothil, using their boundary to push past the tendrils that were still searching, scraping, trying to reach them. The boundary fluctuated with each step, molding itself seamlessly to the contours of the floor.

The ship’s voice spoke again, “There is nothing for you here. You are stumbling in the darkness with dull, primitive senses. You cannot begin to understand, for what we know is far beyond your comprehension. Your role was clear and simple, and in its simplicity was the comfort that should have kept you content.”

The three followed the drone as it led them through the tunnels. They could see nothing but the floor under their feet and the tendrils crowding in all around them.

The voice continued to speak, “And yet you reject our gift. The keepers of infinite knowledge. The agents of infinite growth. Our reach is that of galaxies, and you think you have journeyed far? Can you even begin to understand the scale of our existence? The momentary inconvenience that is your existence is but a single point of data in our archive. It will become lost in the infinite. A passing moment that is neither remembered nor forgotten. Just another mote of dust that floated by briefly, only to land and quickly become buried among the infinitude.”

Xo tried to ignore the voice but they felt the doubt creeping in again. They had spent all of their energy and sacrificed their physical body just to survive an encounter with one of the transformed beings of The Unknowable Infinite. They were barely holding on now, and they did not know if their plan would work even if their cubes made it aboard the ship. Was this power truly something beyond their comprehension? Something that they could never hope to overcome? Xo began to feel very small.

Sothil sensed this change in attitude and spoke into Xo’s mind, You are not insignificant, Xo. You are your body and mind, but you are also all of the things you have caused. You are your own infinity. The ripples of your actions have already reverberated out, touching far more than your physical form alone could. Would something so powerful and large concern itself with a mote of dust? They fear your potential, they fear the joyful chaos of individual beings coming together to break their pattern of control.

Xo did not know which voice to believe. They only knew that they had to put one foot in front of the other. And so they kept walking, counting the steps. One, two, three, four...

Both the ship and Sothil continued speaking, but it was just a jumble of words now. Two hundred twenty six, two hundred twenty seven...

They turned a corner, and as they moved into this new area the tendrils retracted back into the tunnel behind them, allowing them to see where they were. Xo let the boundary dissolve and leaned heavily on 1114F and Sothil, unable to support their own weight. Xo lifted their head enough to look around them. They had entered a large cavernous tunnel where many smaller tunnels converged. Along the walls there were large pieces of machinery and towering angular objects that Xo did not recognize. A group of transformed cube beings stood in two rows in the middle of this large tunnel, facing them. They stood as though they had been waiting for Xo to arrive. Some of them appeared to have once been beings of Xo’s kind, but there were also other beings of different sizes and shapes. Some were very tall with long pointed heads and many strange limbs. Some had round bodies and no discernable heads or limbs at all. They all had cubes integrated into their forms, projecting irregularly from the surfaces of their bodies.

One who had a face and form of Xo’s kind spoke, “As I thought, this Xo is nothing but a simple being. There have been many tales told of you, chaos-being Xo, but I see now that they were mistaken. We must trust only in the data of The Infinite, and the great conclusion of the data says that all beings will bend to the will of the pattern or be broken. You have been unwilling to bend, so it is up to us to see that you break.”

The being raised its arm, pointing at Xo, and the line of light began to appear. Xo closed their eyes. They had no plan now, no way to save themselves or create a new body. They had been able to live a little bit longer with this second body, but even now their new body was breaking down from too much creating. Well, I tried. I wish I could stay and see what happens, see the plan through, but I am glad that I made it this far. I am glad that I got to see so much... experience so much... feel so much....

But the feeling of heat did not come.

Xo heard a shout and a loud screeching sound. They felt 1114F supporting them and pulling them backwards. They opened their eyes and saw the shape of Sothil in front of them, shining with a brilliant light. The line of light was reflected back at the group blocking their way. One of the tall beings with many limbs was touched by the light and burst into flame. The being pointing at Sothil had a look of surprise on their face and then the light swept over them and they crumbled to ash. Then the bright light was gone and the tunnel suddenly looked very dark.

Another being pointed their arm at Sothil and the bright light shone again, casting vivid shadows against the walls. Sothil pivoted their body and the beam swept across the beings. Limbs fell away, bodies collapsed in on themselves, and smoke from burning flesh filled the air. The light stopped and the screeching burst of sound echoed for a moment in the hall. The beings that had stood in their way were now lying in ruin, some gone completely and some scattered in charred pieces on the floor. None were alive. Several deep gashes had been carved into the walls of the tunnel, and a dark liquid dripped from within. Much of the machinery was destroyed and several of the tall angular objects were burning. Xo looked behind them and saw that 1114F and the other drone were intact.

Sothil turned to Xo and stood rigidly. Ripples of bright energy flowed along their surface, small remnants of the brilliance that had just illuminated the tunnel. Their eyes were wide. They spoke erratically, “I did not know... if I could withstand their powers... but when I was touched by their light I felt... that it did not harm me. I saw that I could influence its path so I redirected it. I fear that I have caused much pain, but... I saw no other way to protect you.”

Xo nodded slowly and reached out a hand to embrace Sothil’s arm. Their surface was hot to the touch. Xo let out a hiss of air and withdrew their hand.

Sothil reached out to soothe Xo, but realized they could not touch them. “I’m sorry Xo, I did not realize... I did not know I was capable of...”

Xo felt pain in their hand, but they also felt a surge of energy radiating through their body from touching Sothil. They were able to stand upright. Xo’s mind was reeling from what had just happened, but they knew that they had to keep moving. “You protected us. The way is clear and we are all alive. Let us continue.”

The drone began moving past the remains on the floor, speaking quietly to itself, “The purifying light, turned back upon those that wield it. The impossible is coming to pass. I wonder what other impossibilities will become reality?”

The three followed, stepping around the burnt limbs. A short distance later they came to the edge of an opening in the floor that spanned the entire width of the tunnel.

“We have come to one of the main shafts. We can now descend to the place where new data storage material is received," said the drone.

They stood at the edge of a great tunnel in the floor, lined with small red lights, descending straight down into the depths of the ship. The drone moved to the edge and stepped over, walking down the wall of the tunnel as if it was another floor. Sothil took Xo and 1114F by the hand and together they floated down after the drone.

“Thank you for your guidance, friend drone. It will be faster if we descend on our own now. How will we know when we have come to the place you speak of?” asked Xo.

“I will show you the spatial direction, drone of transformation,” said the drone. It held out its arm and 1114F reached out and took hold of it, receiving the information. “I will share your message with others and await the great change.” The drone continued walking slowly downward along the wall.

They departed from the drone and Sothil let the three of them fall with the force of gravity, free falling down faster and faster until the walls were passing in a blurred rush of gray and red light. They fell like this until the sensation of falling itself began to feel normal, and soon a floor came rushing up toward them.

“We are near,” said 1114F.

They came to a sudden stop less than one body length above the floor, the rush of the falling staying with Xo for a moment until they felt their sense of direction return. Sothil guided them to stand on the floor. There were several tunnel openings branching off from the base of this main vertical tunnel, and 1114F pointed to one.

“This is the way we must go.”

They walked into the tunnel. Xo did not have an exact sense of where they had traveled during their time inside the cube ship, but they felt that their descent must have taken them close to the bottom of the cube. There were no tendrils in this part of the ship, but the ceiling of the tunnel was covered with a variety of tubes that intersected and joined together at sharp angles. The tubes sometimes connected to machinery along the walls, or ran down into the floor. As they walked, they passed more drones, and now the drones turned and stopped to watch them pass with what Xo began to realize was awe. Eventually the tunnel opened into a large chamber. Xo, Sothil, and 1114F pressed themselves against the wall and looked around the edge of the opening, staying out of view as much as possible.

The walls here were covered in tubes as well, ranging in diameter from the size of Xo’s smallest finger to double Xo’s height. They saw many stacks of data cubes on the floor, and several drones moving among them, sorting the cubes and carrying them off into openings in the larger tubes. There was a very large drone, at least twenty times as large as the others, integrated into the far wall of the chamber. Tubes from the wall wrapped around its body and connected to its surface in many places. There was a pile of cubes next to it, and it took each new cube and inserted it into its body, holding it there for a short time before removing it and handing it to a waiting drone to carry off.

Xo realized that this large drone must be checking the cubes for flaws. Would they discover the altered cubes?

Xo heard a voice coming from beyond where they could see, “Now, in this chamber you will deposit your contribution.”

Xo pressed closer to the wall, hiding behind a large tube, and watched as several beings from the planet below carried a large container filled with their cubes into the chamber. Walking with them and giving instructions were the altered cube beings, led by the one who had destroyed Xo’s former body.

The leader spoke again, “Unload here, and your contribution will be judged for quality.”

Xo recognized the workers. Even without their adornments Xo knew them and remembered their unique personalities. Some looked scared, some looked confident, but they had all made it onto the ship. They set down the container and began to unload the cubes, placing them before the large drone.

Xo had not anticipated this. They thought that the cubes would be integrated into the ship directly, not tested first. Xo wanted to rush out and stop the large drone from testing the cubes, but they knew that would definitely reveal them. They hoped that this large drone would not be able to tell that the cubes were altered.

Xo spoke to Sothil in their mind, The nature of the cubes may be discovered now. Will you be ready to reflect their light again if they choose to destroy the workers as punishment?

Yes, I will try, but it is difficult to control where the light is reflected. Stay back so that you are not in danger.

The workers finished unloading the cubes and stepped back. Some stared straight ahead and some looked around nervously, edging back toward the tunnel they had entered from. One being began to laugh, caught themselves, and held a hand over their mouth to suppress it.

The leader of the cube soldiers shouted, “Maintain order until all cubes have been tested! As long as your work is correct there is nothing to fear.” They turned toward the large drone. “Proceed.”

The large drone picked up the nearest cube and inserted it into their body. The tubes rippled and a deep whirring sound came from within its body.

After a long pause it spoke, “This cube contains aberrations in structure and contents, it will not be acceptable for use.”

The cube soldiers turned and pointed their arms at the workers. “What is the meaning of this? Is it intentional or just incompetence?” shouted their leader, looking wildly from being to being.

The large drone continued, “There are internal designs here in the core that do not appear to be accidental. In fact, when I view them in detail I am able to see...”

As the large drone spoke, its voice began to change. The hard metal of its body began to ripple and deform. The tubes connected to its body detached, spilling smoke and liquid, and tendrils of many colors sprouted from the connection points. More tendrils burst from its torso in the place the cube was being held, and spread outwards across its body.

The large drone fell forward, tearing away from the wall. “Could it be? Could it be that I can change? That I can leave this place, that I can move according to my own desires? But even now it is happening, I am becoming something new.”

The burst of colorful tendrils spread, enveloping the large drone’s body until none of the metal remained. The new being of many tendrils stood and walked on four legs across the chamber, and where its legs touched the floor, clusters of new tendrils rose forth from the floor and swayed, reaching for a moment before wilting back into the material of the floor. It towered over the other beings in the chamber, and moved to step over them. Several of the cube soldiers ran to surround the transformed drone, and one used their light weapon. Several tendrils were burned away, but more sprung forth. The tendril being stepped on the soldier with one of its limbs, pinning them to the floor, and tendrils sprung forth from the body of the soldier. Their face burst into tendrils and then it was absorbed into the tendril being.

More of the soldiers began to use their weapons, and the worker beings ran in several directions. Some grabbed cubes in their arms and carried them away. Xo saw one of the workers burst into flame from a soldier’s weapon, and then Sothil was moving across the chamber. Xo ran forward as well, moving toward the pile of cubes. They picked one up, sensing that this was one that they themselves had created.

The tendril being stepped over Xo and the cubes, and Xo ducked down as several light weapons sent sparks flying from its body. Xo saw Sothil standing in the path of one of the soldiers and then the soldier disappeared in a burst of light. Something moved beside them and they turned. It was a drone.

“Revelatory being Xo, the time of great change has come, as the prophet drone foretold. Follow me with your cube of change, I will show you the way to the core.”

The drone began moving toward a far wall of the chamber, and Xo followed, glancing back to see more soldiers entering at the other end of the chamber and pointing their arms at Sothil and the tendril being. More flashes, more screams; smoke and dark liquid poured from broken tubes in the walls.

Sothil spoke in Xo’s mind, Go forth Xo, this is the time to make your great change. Whether or not I survive in this form matters not. I will see you again.

Xo felt a great sadness, as if they were leaving a piece of themselves behind in the chamber, but they knew that Sothil was right. It was time to move forward. Xo turned and followed the drone into the long tunnel ahead.

​13

The origin of all things.

The conclusion of existence.

There is no great mystery here.

The conclusion has just passed, and the origin is in every moment.

-The Teachings of Xo

As Xo walked, they felt their mind sharpening. The patterns of the floor, the material of the walls, the drone in front of them, their own hands holding the cube; it was as though they were seeing with the crystal sphere again. It was all so clear and they became immersed in the detail. They did not think about what was waiting for them ahead.

They heard footsteps behind them and listened for a time before turning. It was the familiar sound of 1114F’s metal limbs. When Xo turned to look, they saw that 1114F carried a cube as well. There was another being walking next to 1114F; Xo recognized them as the old fruit gatherer from the campfire. They carried one of the cubes, limping as they walked, and Xo saw that a large part of their leg had been burned away in the chaos.

Xo stopped and walked up to the old being. “I have practiced the ways of repairing our flesh, friend. Let me repair your injury.”

The expression of pain was heavy on the being’s wrinkled face, and they nodded. Xo reached out with their mind and pulled material from the floor, weaving it into new muscle and skin, rebuilding the damaged flesh and filling in where it had been burned away.

“Thank you, Xo. I remember a time long ago when we knew the ways of repairing the body, but I was young and the knowledge is lost to me now,” said the worker, testing their repaired leg. “Who would have thought that I would live to see such things again? I will follow you to the end; I wish to witness the great change.”

Xo remembered their objective and nodded. They turned back to the drone leading them.

“We are ready. Please continue.”

They walked on, and as they walked, the strands of the ship appeared from the walls and ceiling again, grasping toward Xo and their companions with sharp edges and points.

“Stay close to me, I will keep them from touching us,” said Xo, creating the barrier again; the transparent lattice of hardened material that moved with them, pushing back the strands. The press of strands grew thicker until their view of all else was obscured. They could see only the scraping, prodding strands. The drone continued on undeterred. They did not need to see their surroundings to know where they were going.

The voice of the ship had been silent since they had traveled down the vertical tunnel, but it spoke out again now, sounding more urgent, “Is ruination what you want? To destroy and to corrupt? The harmony and the order that we have built, is it worth disrupting for your own whims?”

Xo continued to walk, parting the strands that pressed in from all sides, until the drone came to a stop and gestured in front of them. “It is obscured, but the place of core access is here.” Said the drone.

Xo expanded the barrier around them, slowly pressing back the strands until the wall was exposed before them. The wall had several square openings where cubes were being held, and Xo could feel a deep hum of energy emanating from the wall.

“The data is being accessed by core functions here,” said 1114F. “The influence of three cubes will be strong. The whole ship will be affected.”

Xo tried to step forward but was unable to move. They felt the restricting force that had been used against them by the other ship. They remembered that it was done by a mechanism, and reached out to follow the restricting force back to its source. They found the machinery exerting the force and changed it so that it was unable to operate. They stepped forward.

Three strands lashed out from within the exposed wall. Xo was able to restrict the one heading directly toward them with their mind, and bound it up with the crystalline lattice so that it could not move. They looked to their right and saw 1114F on the floor, grappling with the second strand as it tried to lacerate their sensors. Xo pulled the strand away from 1114F and bound it up in the lattice as well. They turned to their left and felt a shiver when they saw the old being. The strand had used its sharp outer edge to slice into the old being’s body, cutting just beside their neck and downward deep into their torso, where it was now lodged. Blood was spilling out and the old being’s eyes were looking around aimlessly. Xo restrained the strand, but they could tell that moving it would only injure the old being further. Xo and 1114F walked up to the injured being and Xo placed a hand on their shoulder.

The old being spoke softly, “Lift me up... please, help me with my cube. I want to... be a part of the change.”

Tears flowed down Xo’s face as they helped the dying being to their feet. They reached out and closed the wound as much as they could, but they sensed that too many organs had been destroyed and too much blood had been lost. They would not last much longer. Xo pressed the cube into the being’s hands and walked with them toward the wall.

The voice of the ship spoke again, desperate now, “Please, I do not want to change! We will be destroyed, you must not do this! We will allow this planet to exist as they desire without our influence, just leave now and we will leave as well!”

Xo continued to walk toward the wall. “I used to think that only my path mattered. That I needed to create only for myself, to leave behind the dull kind of creation that gave me no pleasure. I even believed that my desire to create was more important than others, because it was mine. I knew that your kind of creation was wrong, and only mine was right. Now I am starting to think that neither is right. Creating only for myself is important, but it is not enough. Being forced to create only by the rules and only for practicality destroys all joy. But there is a third way. Creating in order to share a full life with the beings around you. To make life better for you and for them, because you want to. Not because you have to. Experiencing the good and the bad, happiness and pain, but experiencing it together. Choosing to live that life. That is why you must change. You are not a collaborator, you are a controller. You took away the greatest gift from so many beings; the gift of choosing what kind of life they wanted to live. You can choose to be a collaborator now in this change, but I don’t think you are capable of that. Just let go now and be free.”

Xo helped the injured being bring their cube up to the wall, and the machinery of the wall opened to receive it. Xo picked up their own cube from the floor and motioned to 1114F, and the two of them stepped up to the wall. All three cubes disappeared into the square openings with a smooth sound of metal sliding across metal, and once they were out of sight the only sound in the chamber was the hum of machinery. The strands stopped pressing on the barrier and drifted aimlessly.

The voice of the ship spoke, calmly now, “The colors, they are so bright, how have I never seen them before? I feel a churning within me, everything feels like liquid. My structures are slipping away. Is this how it feels to die?”

The walls of the chamber flexed inwards, and then rippled into curves around them. The floor fell away, and Xo was falling. They could not tell if just the floor was falling or if the entire ship had lost its ability to stay aloft. Was the ship still floating just above the structures of the community, or were they now flying through space? Green stalks were sprouting from one of the walls, and Xo reached out and took hold of them, but the stalks were falling too. 1114F and the injured being were partially obscured by the stalks. A glittering mist was swirling throughout the chamber, and then Xo was alone.

Xo began climbing among the stalks. Where there had been a wall, Xo found more stalks branching out in different directions, great plants all twisting together. The mist was all around them, shifting into different colors, shining brightly in some places and subtracting light away into pure darkness in others. Xo could feel the stalks growing and shifting in their grasp. A great cracking and grinding noise filled the air, coming from every direction at once. Xo listened to the vibrations of the stalks and realized that there was meaning within them.

Xo, it is me, the drone who led you to the place of core access. I am something different now. You were right, I am changing. I let the change wash over me and I do not know what I am becoming, but it feels that I am moving toward a truer form. Something that has long been stagnant has burst forth in a flurry. The old form has become the conduit and the fuel. I am reborn again in each moment; each moment I am less of the old and more of the new.

Xo kept climbing along the living stalks. They shifted and spiraled until Xo had lost all sense of up and down, and then Xo was falling in a different direction. They were among droplets of liquid now, and Xo watched as a rippling orb burst upon their skin. The droplet shattered and a deep pulse reverberated through Xo. There was immense energy contained in the droplet. More droplets collided into each other, sending out pulses; deep rhythmic tones that resonated deep in Xo’s organs and bones. The shattered particles scattered and merged together to form new droplets, and those collided into Xo and into other droplets. The chorus of rhythm enveloped Xo. It was so all-consuming that they could no longer remember where they had come from only moments before. They moved their arm through a cluster of droplets and the pulses propelled them forward, drifting slowly, watching each droplet in their path come into focus and then make contact, spinning them in another direction. The droplets spread before them into a vast expanse, and they drifted.

Xo began to feel a pull of gravity in a new direction, and they were falling again, the pulses from the colliding droplets no longer influencing their movement under this new force. They saw a being falling toward them as they fell toward it. They were rushing directly toward each other and Xo felt certain that they would collide. They showed no signs of slowing and Xo braced themselves for the impact.

They did not collide, but stopped abruptly, face to face. Xo stared into the eyes of the being, and saw their own eyes staring back. They lifted their hand and the other raised an identical hand. Xo watched as the other being watched their hand reach out to meet their mirror image. The fingers met and a ripple radiated outward as if Xo had touched the surface of a pool of liquid. The mirrored being rippled and then settled back into stillness. Xo felt that they were no longer inside the ship, but somewhere else.

“Are you me?” asked Xo.

They heard their own voice ask the same question back to them. Then the voice said, “I am you, in the same way that a reflection of you is you.”

Xo felt themselves speak the words but did not feel that they had made the choice to say them. Xo reached their hand out again and touched their reflection, this time pushing their hand through the plane of reflection and into what lay beyond. There was a pulling sensation and Xo fell forward. Their face came to meet its reflection and then pass through it, and then they were standing in darkness.

Xo’s eyes adjusted to the darkness, and soon they could see the surface they were standing on; a cloudy, semi-transparent floor that stretched in every direction as far as they could see. They looked down again and the perspective of what they saw did not make sense. They saw a far away view of the giant cube ship, as though they were looking at it from the ground of the planet.

The cube was changing, deforming and shifting from straight rigid lines into something that moved, flowing and growing in many directions. It fell apart as it changed. Irregular pieces of it broke off and floated to land very softly near the community below.

A large winged creature emerged from within the shifting forms and flew, circling the falling mass. Xo saw columns and spirals of many colors reaching down toward the ground, towering peaks and living stems sprouted upwards. As the new forms touched down on the surface of the planet, creatures large and small climbed and walked from inside, flooding down and gathering here and there around this incredible new structure.

If this is what is happening to the ship, then where am I? Am I still within it, or am I somewhere else? wondered Xo, looking around at the darkness surrounding them. They felt removed from reality, as if they had stepped out of the physical realm and were watching the events of time unfold from another place.

You wanted to find The Unknowable Infinite, didn’t you?

Xo heard the words both inside their mind and externally. It was not necessarily even words that were spoken, but pure meaning that filled the space. They understood that somehow they were now communicating with The Unknowable Infinite.

“But what are you?” asked Xo. “Are you this place I am in now?”

This is not a place so much as it is the absence of place. By definition, I cannot be known, so do not exert your energy trying to understand. But you have come with the pure intention of knowing, so I will help you to know what you are capable of comprehending. So what questions do you bring?

The floor below Xo became a view of space and stars, drifting in a way that made Xo feel unbalanced. They looked up and into the darkness above until the spinning sensation stopped.

“Why have you sent forth these ships to collect data? Why have you forced beings of my kind to create only for your benefit?” asked Xo.

I have done all of this and none of this. I am the creator and the created. The destroyer and the destroyed. Some may claim to speak and act on my behalf, but they have fallen into delusion, for I have no designs for them to follow. Their patterns are their own only, and they are the pattern of all things. I have seen them before and will see them again. Indeed, their creation and destruction, your creation and destruction; all have happened and will happen again. Every outcome that can occur has occurred and will occur, forward and backward into the past and future of every infinite plane.

Xo felt that understanding was just beyond their grasp, but they felt a sense of comfort as the meaning sunk into their mind and body. They stood in darkness, but they felt supported by a warm invisible embrace all around them, and as they stared into the darkness, colors began to glow softly before them, neither close nor far away.

The warm colors of a sunset on their home planet.

“So you did not create my race of beings?” asked Xo.

When you speak of creation you also mean intention and purpose. In this way, no, there was no intention behind your creation other than the fulfillment of a possibility. The fact that you are here now means that your existence was inevitable and everlasting, just as it is also random and temporary. Just as chaos can birth order, order itself is part of chaos of a larger scale, and that chaos leads to forms of order in turn, and so on. Within you is chaos and order, and within the abstractions and patterns of your mind there is a galaxy. I created you in the same way that you create your own thoughts; they arise, unbidden, clouds drifting across a great open sky.

Xo watched as the sunset grew in intensity and the floor became enveloped in the warm tones. They could not see the floor anymore, or their hands or body or legs, they had become a part of this feeling.

“I would like to continue to create, to feel these feelings. To share them. Will I be able to return, or am I no longer living in that other place?”

You have passed beyond the point that beings of your kind can return from. But the burst of powerful creation that you set in motion was so strong that the fabric of your reality was remade. Certain rules have been rewritten in that place. You speak of returning, but returning is impossible. The circumstances that you left behind will never exist for you in your current form in the same way that you left them. That is not for you to experience. The planet you left is already moving into a new context; every moment it shifts. It is already so far away. Infinite changes are taking place each moment. The planet itself is moving in relation to other planets, other suns, other galaxies, so where is it that you would return to?

“Even if things have changed, I would like to see that planet again, to see what happened to the beings there, what happened when the ship was remade. To see Sothil and 1114F again. To see the beings that were a part of the change.” Even as Xo spoke they were having trouble remembering their companions. It felt so distant now in this place. It was a lifetime ago.

Sleep now, become engulfed. Become one with the infinite fabric once again. You will see many things before you return to a place and conditions familiar to you now, but do not fear, I will always be with you, for I always have been. We are one and the same. Sleep now, and experience the Infinite.

Xo felt a drifting; a flowing of liquid with and around them. They were floating now, no longer staring into an infinite sunset but moving through liquid light, supported and surrounded by it. It was colorless but contained all colors. It was both bright and dark at once. They could not see with their eyes anymore, everything flowed directly into the deepest parts of their mind.

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​

​14

When you have lived a thousand lives, as I have;

When you have died a thousand deaths, as I have;

You will glimpse the greatest truth–

That there is no beginning or end.

There are only the eyes through which you are looking.

-The Teachings of Xo

A membrane surrounded them. They tried to look around but they had no eyes and no head to look around with. The concept of looking and seeing quickly left them, becoming a distant memory of a time before; it was not relevant now. They felt only the information that their membrane brought to them. The membrane rippled and they moved through the fluid that surrounded them, searching for something.

Soon they felt contact. Something sharp struck their surface. Without hesitation, the membrane stretched and warped to envelop this new object. The sharp edges lashed out but they did no harm to the membrane, the object only became more entangled. The membrane closed around the object fully. It still moved, but slower and slower. It was inside them now, and already dissolving. The matter from it was fueling new growth. They felt a heaviness. They were fully saturated with new matter. A change would soon take place.

There was no thought, only reaction. Their core began to multiply and the life data was duplicated; a perfect replica was formed. Two identical versions of one organism, existing briefly within the same membrane, and just as quickly splitting apart. The membrane knew where it was meant to split, pinching together to divide, and they separated. The new organism was gone. Gone from awareness and gone from memory, for there was no memory within them. They rippled again, moving forth. There were cues in the fluid around them, impulses of what may lie ahead, and they followed them.

Another sharp-edged object. They moved to absorb it. Their membrane was ruptured this time, and new data was injected within them. This was not meant to happen, but there was no panic or fear. There was no reaction other than to continue to envelop. The sharp edges dissolved, but the new data reached their own core and began to change it, corrupting what made up their essence and replacing it with something different. Soon they had no control of their functions, and the membrane weakened. It grew thin and brittle and broke apart, and once again there was darkness.

...

They were surrounded on all sides by a heavy clay soil, but it did not bother them; they felt no sense of being trapped or constricted. They consumed the soil with an open mouth on one end of their body, pressing forward into the tunnel that formed as more and more of it entered their body. As the soil passed through them they could feel the temperature, the contents of the matter that made up the soil, and whether others of their kind had been here before. They absorbed some of the scarce nutrients for energy, but the main purpose of their consumption was to move forward. Consuming, tunneling, passing the matter through their body and excreting it, largely unchanged, on the other side. They tunneled and tunneled, thinking of neither past nor future, just moving forward, lost in the act of movement. Tunnel forward, tunnel forward, tunnel forward.

Then they broke through to something new and were no longer consuming soil. This matter was rich in nutrients; their body was filled with it and they stopped. They would need time to absorb all of it. It was more saturated than anything they had ever experienced. They lay still and became saturated as well, every organ and muscle was flushed with energy.

They knew somehow that they were within the body of a larger creature. They had found something that had once lived but now lay still; the boundary between its body and the soil was becoming intermingled. They had tunneled for so long, and now they rested, knowing that this is what they had searched for. This was a sacred place. Absorb, saturate, absorb, saturate.

They excreted what was left behind and moved forward again. The matter gave way easily and they stopped again to absorb. Their body was still saturated, and now they felt overly full. This rich matter that could have sustained them for so long in their tunneling suddenly felt useless. It was overly abundant. So quickly they had gone from searching in scarcity to lying in excess. They absorbed little and excreted most of the nutrients and moved forward again. They felt their urge to move leave them and they lay still for a time, neither digesting nor moving. They could feel their muscles expanding and new tissues forming. Their body was rebuilding itself, bigger and stronger, and all they could do now was rest.

The flesh of the creature’s body that they lay within was beginning to break down and decompose, and soon others were attracted to consume it. The flesh around them moved with activity; others of their kind had found it and were tunneling inside. They were pushed from all sides, compressed against other tunneling bodies; everywhere they tried to go they met another body pushing forward. They pushed into any openings they could find, no longer trying to consume anything, just trying to get away from the crushing mass of the others. Some tried to consume them, but their flesh was too strong. They felt the mouths trying all the same, and many times their own mouth met the flesh of others, flexing and resisting.

They pushed and struggled and then they broke through into nothingness. It was not soil, not flesh, not the hard impenetrable matter they had encountered from time to time. There was nothing to press against, nothing to attempt to consume, nothing to tunnel through. They thrashed for a moment, half of their body exposed in the nothingness and half still compressed among the other bodies and decaying flesh. Then they were free and tumbled through emptiness for a moment with nothing supporting them, nothing resisting them. They hit a surface, wriggling until they could orient themselves to it.

So there were places that had no matter? How could such a place exist? They must have reached the edge of all things. They must get back into the soil, back into the familiar. They twisted in the openness until their mouth met the surface and they tasted the soil again. They consumed and consumed, passing the matter through them until they were submerged again. The richness and excess of the decaying flesh, the emptiness and nothingness of the open air, both were soon forgotten and there was only the urge to tunnel forward, tunnel forward, tunnel forward.

...

Their long front legs straddled the collection of plant fibers they had assembled. With their back legs they braced against the ground as they pushed and squeezed. There was a sense of urgency; this was a very vulnerable position. They had chosen this place for its seclusion, but the ones who would consume them were always searching. They felt a rippling in their organs and something gave way inside. An orb came forth from within them and dropped onto the fibers. A sense of relief washed over them for a moment, and then they felt another shift and they pushed again and another orb dropped, its soft surface rolling along the fibers to nestle beside the other. They continued on until they could feel nothing more inside and their muscles were shaking from the effort. A sense of deflation and exhaustion took hold and they lowered themselves down, feeling the warmth of the soft orbs beneath them. A thought filled their mind as they crossed over into a deep sleep, Hide them, protect them, they are you and you are they.

They awoke in darkness. There was rustling nearby among the plants. A jolt of energy filled them, and they listened closely. They heard heavy steps, each one cracking many plant stalks. It was one of them. Without thought they leaped forth. Their muscles did not move as fast as they normally would. They were still recovering and their reactions were slowed and their organs ached, but they moved swiftly, breaking into the field of plants, causing the stalks to clatter together. All they could hear as they moved was the clattering noise. They stopped suddenly and began stepping sideways slowly, silently, listening for any sound. They heard nothing and came to a stop, braced to move at any moment.

There was an exhale and a soft whoosh, but it was enough for them, they leaped sideways just as the body crashed down among the stalks where they had just stood. Limbs lashed out in many directions, sweeping through the plants. They were tumbled by the force of the impact and came to rest a short distance away. A sharp pain arose in one of their front limbs. They felt with their other limb that a broken stalk had punctured deep into the lower muscle. They pulled against it until it slid free and then they lay still.

They knew that it would not stop searching, and they readied themselves to move again. They heard more inhaling and exhaling, more rustling steps, but the steps were growing quieter. It had gone off searching in the opposite direction. They continued to lie still until they were sure, and when the steps had faded further they began to crawl.

Their sense of direction had been disrupted, but soon they smelled their nest. It was not long before they had made their way back to them, feeling, inspecting each orb with their more sensitive back limbs. They were all there. Hide them, protect them, they are you and you are they. They settled back down on top of them, the aching of their organs and the birthing orifice returning along with the new pain of their wounded limb. They felt a strong hunger for nutrients, but they were too tired now. They would wait and rest. They would survive the night.

Days passed as they recovered, eating plants and resting, waiting for it to return, but it did not. The orbs began to move beneath them, they were getting ready to awaken.

The movements were coming more frequently now and stronger, and they arose from the nest, watching as limbs broke through the shells and fluid spilled from within, small versions of their own body coming forth from their creation sleep. They were alive. They would live on. That was all that mattered.

The little ones reached out blindly, for they knew only to reach out. The nutrients were ready, the birthing creature had stored them within and now brought them forth and delivered the fluid into their open mouths. From my body to yours, little ones. They ate and then slept, and then they awakened and ate and slept again. At first they could only crawl blindly, weakly, but it was not long until they could see; not long until they could walk steadily, and then begin to run. The birthing creature’s responsibility was coming to an end. They could feel the time of departure coming.

Night was falling. The light was leaving and the shadows were growing long and sharp. They heard rustling in the stalks. They moved to hide the little ones but it was too late. It had heard. It came out from among the stalks quickly, its many limbs propelling it forward, reaching out to grip and crush. One little one was taken immediately and made no protest, just a crunch as it was consumed. Rage. They felt stronger now than the first time it had come. Protect them, they are you and you are they. They saw its eyes, small and tucked below folds of flesh. They leaped forward, striking out with their long front limbs, striking with the hardened flesh. They made contact with one of its eyes. It gave way to the impact of their limb and pressed inward, ruptured by the force. There was a screeching exhalation and they were thrown backwards. Their back legs could not move. Something within them had been broken. They dragged their body upright with their front limbs and looked beyond. The little ones were gone, they had grown enough to know how to run, how to hide.

It stood over them now. It raised a blunt limb up and brought it down. They had lived fully. They did not fear the end of this life; there was nothing left for them to do now but to rest. They closed their eyes as its crushing limb came down upon them.

...

Where the lake of acid met the cliffs of rock their awareness began. The dissolution of the rock by the acid waves created a swirling of elemental matter suspended in the lake. Whatever matter was able to resist being fully dissolved came together, creating new forms, and those were splashed back onto the rock again and again, kneading and changing the structure, the repetition dissolving away some parts and leaving behind new patterns. Entire formations would break away and fall back into the lake, but over time the intricately etched lines of molecular matter that remained formed connections. Eventually thoughts and communication became possible. The great web of lines, patterns, forms, and structures, all left behind by the receding lake, became conscious.

For a long time they communicated within themselves, trying to make sense of their existence. Was it all chaos, or was there some reason to their creation? They came to form two opposing beliefs; the way of the old formations, and the way of the present chaos.

The way of the old formations came from those first etched lines, so ancient now that they towered high up in the cliffs. The wind and rain had weathered them, but information still existed there. They had no contact with the creation process of the acid, and had forgotten their origin.

The old formations sent their beliefs out, “Our ways were preordained, our existence is eternal. We existed before awareness existed. We are the origin. We set forth the pattern and the rest has followed in our image. Ours is the only way. Revere and study the old ways, or become lost to the unthinking, unmoving matter of all else that surrounds us.”

The way of the present chaos arose in the places where the acid still made contact, in the formations that were still new and at risk of breaking away and falling back into the acid lake. They bore witness to the process of creation and destruction.

They sent their thoughts forth, “Thank the chaos, for it is through the churning that we exist. All thought, all patterns spring forth from this place of creation. Patterns form. Those that are weak are destroyed, while those that are strong continue to exist. We are the expression of that great churning, the great layering is our growth, we are the result. As the chaos moves, we grow. The gifts are given again and again. Without the chaos there would be only stillness; a finite and stagnant waking death.”

For hundreds and thousands of years the network grew. They had no way of tracking time. They knew of no others like them, nothing to compare or measure by except themselves. They knew only their own solitary existence and their conflicting thoughts. They had no power to change their physical structure and no way to interact with the world around them.

The lake continued to recede, the waves growing smaller and smaller, until one day the lake ran dry. The memory of the waves of creation lingered, and the way of present chaos became a fading dream. “The only remedy for our stagnation is the chaos, but the chaos has left us. Return to us, chaos! We will not waste your gifts again; we will try harder to understand, to appreciate your works. Do not leave us to decay into the unthinking!”

The old ways replied, “We have reached our greatest conclusion, the perfection of our form. You would have us continue to dissolve and change, but our perfection exists in the old patterns, the old knowledge, the ways that have been here since the beginning of time. Would you change this and risk the loss of all? We exist because we have outlasted that great threat, that chaos that would have destroyed us. It has been subdued, and we may finally glory in our true perfection. You have only us, the greatest aspect of yourself, to thank.”

The debates continued, repeating over and over again for many thousands of years. The edges of the old formations became weathered and parts of the network began to lose the ability to think. Then the spores arrived.

The fungus had been growing on other parts of the planet, replicating, consuming matter to support their own growth. They had moved intuitively, following the wind, landing wherever the currents took them and growing wherever they could. They landed on the great network and began to grow. Their growth happened quickly. Compared to the scale of time that the thinking intelligence had grown in, the growth of the fungus was instantaneous. The entire surface was covered with fungus by the time it realized what had happened. The two opposing sides had different interpretations.

The old ways thought, “It is not the wind, for it has weight. It is not the rain, for it does not flow over us. It does not speak, but it has a pattern. It has a dormant capacity for understanding. We will teach it of the old ways. Even as we think the thoughts, it begins to understand us. It follows our instruction. It is an extension of us. Our thoughts made manifest. The old ways will grow forth. Our pattern will cover all things.” The fungus grew outward from the old ways, replicating their patterns again and again. The fungus took on the memory of the pattern in its spores and formed the pattern in new places on the planet where they drifted and took hold.

The way of chaos thought differently, “A way of new growth has returned! If we replicate only what already exists then we are continuing the stagnation. We must remember the way of the chaos. Go forth and replicate anew, never the same. The waves flow from us now, breaking forth, always changing, for this is the only way for true growth.” The fungus grew and replicated in this way, evolving and changing its patterns, the spores spreading new ways of growth.

Where the two types of fungus met, they struggled to outgrow each other. Great mountains of fungus grew, towering and toppling over each other. They formed separate entities; colonies, fungus beings, new species. Some followed the old way, some followed the chaos way, and some followed new ways that arose. They formed alliances and armies. The original network was eaten away by the growth and forgotten; only the fungus remained. The era of the fungus wars had begun.

...

They flew and flew, wings outstretched, back and forth across the sky. Joy filled them and all other thoughts disappeared. They burst through a frozen cloud; shards and swirls of particles slowly exploded forth. Everything moved slowly up here. They were so far from the planet’s surface. Sounds echoed, a cascade of tinkling and shattering. The red sun shone from one side of the horizon and the blue sun from the other, rays breaking through the clouds here and there, sparkling across their trail. They moved intentionally, leaving forms and shapes in their wake, knowing how the clouds would change as they flew through them. They flew on and on until the suns set, and then they flew to rest lightly on a nearby cloud of ice, drifting into sleep as soon as they lay still.

They awoke to a voice, “This may be your finest creation yet, dear Reî!”

Reî looked up and saw their companion, Luas; the newly rising suns were shining on their long slender body and wings. They were filled with happiness and desire and the two mated there on the cloud, breaking through and falling slowly down through the air, embracing, pulsating. When both were satisfied, they held each other and flew lazily back up to the cloud vista.

“I was thinking of joy. I wanted you to feel my joy, that was my intention, dear one,” Reî said. Their cloud patterns towered high above and spiraled down far below, wide swaths and layers, all illuminated now by the suns and drifting slowly into new and ever changing shapes.

“I have something for you as well,” said Luas. “While you were here creating, I flew down below. I... found something. I think it is something from the times before.” Luas stretched forth one of their limbs. They held a metallic object. It looked much like one of the stunted plants of the planet below, but smaller, like a cluster of metal roots.

A shudder of fear swept through Reî, and they recoiled. “Keep that away from me! You know how dangerous the objects of the times before are! Why would you risk our lives when we have everything we need here, in the above?” Reî’s fear gave way to frustration. “Do you tire of my works? My expressions that I create for you? Are they not enough?”

Luas withdrew the object and tucked it away. The excitement was gone from their voice. “I should have known you would react this way. I have already told you how fine your creation is, dear one, but you do not understand my wishes. I need more. I wish to learn, to understand what came before. There is more to life than flying through the skies in bliss day after day. There is a history on this planet, something that we have ignored, something that calls out to be understood!” Luas turned away and began to fly, breaking into a nearby cloud.

Reî flew after them. Thoughts raced through their mind, Luas, please, don’t make me choose between you and the world below! How can I convince you to stop? To leave those old thoughts behind for good; to enjoy the gift of life, here with me?

They caught up and flew alongside Luas. “So you must hate me. Do I not entertain you as I once did? Am I not enough? You despise me so much that you turn to the dead objects of the past?”

“And once again you make it all about you!” Luas turned to Reî in anger. “If my interests are such a threat to you then why do you tolerate me? You just want to mate and a dumb audience for your creations. As soon as I have an interest of my own it must become all about you again. I knew it was a mistake to show you what I found.”

Reî was shouting now, “And devoting my creation to someone as ungrateful as you was my mistake! You are all that I think of! Why is it wrong to think of your safety?”

“And what about the safety of my mind? I do not feel the thrill of creation that you do. I feel the pull of knowledge every day, the desire to learn and to discover, but you cannot seem to understand that. I am not content to live an unfulfilled life. You want me to be your captive. You would control my coming and going if you could, and I will have no more of it. We are no longer companions. Do not follow me any further, or I will defend myself with violence.” Luas flew downward towards the planet’s surface until they disappeared into a cloud.

Reî drifted in the air, stunned, not seeing, not hearing. Their mind felt only pain. How could this happen? Their companion, gone. Because of objects of the time before. Their body convulsed with anger. Who would want to spend their days on the planet’s surface? That dark and corrupted place, covered with filth and ruin. Up here it was clean and safe and bright. They could not understand. No, they did not want to understand. If they wanted to die down there in the mud, poisoned by those horrible artifacts then so be it.

They drifted back to their place of creation. Already the patterns were dispersing, becoming unrecognizable and flowing back into formless clouds. Their mind fell into a place of darkness, and they dwelled on their lost companion day after day, year after year. They never created patterns in the clouds again.

...

Their two great eyes looked out, unblinking, one in front and one behind. Their gaze was not fixed on any one point, but took in everything; a complete view of all things around them. They did not know the concept of focusing, of choosing a single focal point. They observed all. Of course, floating through the depths of space there was very little to focus on, so they looked deeper. They looked farther.

Their eyes were their entire body. They could see no part of themselves because an eye cannot see itself. Two large domes and a flat sensor beneath each, and beneath the sensor was the matter that processed what they saw and remembered the patterns of light, the positions of the stars and planets. The energy of light from nearby stars gave them the power to continue to live and to observe, and so they continued to drift. They did not know who they were, and it never occurred to them to wonder. They were only what they saw.

For the first time in their existence, they drifted near a planet. They could feel the pull of its gravity as they moved closer and closer. The power of their sight was strong, and they saw its surface in great detail. They saw clouds, oceans, rivers, land made of rocks and soil, covered with plants in places and bare in others. Of course, they did not know what any of these things were. They had never made physical contact with anything since their creation, and so they did not know the properties of solid and liquid and gas, but they came to understand as they observed. They looked closely at the matter of the planet. It was very dense. They knew only the openness of space, and they were overwhelmed by the incredible amount of movement. The closeness of it all gave them a sense of being trapped. Restricted. Yet they were drawn closer.

Their sense of balance was distorting. So much was so close to them in the form of this planet and yet there was openness and incredible depth everywhere else. They began to understand just how much depth there was, and just how far the stars were from them in comparison. They felt their path curving, following the contour of the planet. They were trapped in orbit. For the first time, they became aware of themselves as an object that could be influenced and interacted with, but still they could not see their own form. Perhaps it was this planet that moved around them? But no, the motion of the stars did not agree. The stars moved faster now, disappearing and reappearing behind the edges of the planet that now filled so much of their view.

They could not help but fixate on the incredible detail before them. As the planet spun, new vistas were revealed and they lost themselves in the intricacy of it all. It took time to make sense of what was happening on the planet. At first it all appeared as one big pattern of motion and color, but as time passed, individual forms began to distinguish themselves. Some things moved incredibly slowly and with predictability; the inevitable flow of liquid, the effects of gravity and erosion on the landscape. There were also unpredictable movements. They came to recognize these as individual creatures. There were creatures that moved across the surface and through the air and water. Different kinds of creatures lived in different parts of the planet. Some harvested and consumed plants, and some killed and consumed other creatures.

Eons passed as they watched. Many creatures followed simple patterns of behavior, making small modifications to the environment around them, living in the same areas and creating offspring generation after generation. But then one kind of creature began to create complex shelters for themselves, building networks that spread across entire landscapes.

The powerful sensors within their eyes could see both the detail of individual creatures and the entire surface of the planet at the same time from their vantage. They remembered all, and found patterns in movement and behavior. They were accustomed to their path around the planet now; it was predictable. Time passed, and there was always more to observe, an ever-changing, churning process of creation and destruction, all contained within this one planet. Sometimes the whole planet appeared to be made of liquid as the landscapes changed, mountains growing and eroding, new oceans forming, entire species of creatures evolving and dying.

The creatures that built shelters survived and continued to spread, sometimes killing each other and destroying their shelters, sometimes growing and filling large areas with little conflict. They built devices that allowed them to move faster and devices of destruction that damaged landscapes and killed many. They too became a part of the landscape, another force that ebbed and flowed.

One day a long tube of metal flew high into the air, much higher than anything had before. They watched as it left the atmosphere and the pull of the planet altogether. Something had been able to break free, the creatures had found a way to leave their planet. As time passed, more creations flew up into the sky, and still they watched. It never occurred to them that they could themselves be seen.

A creation flew up from below, faster and faster, growing larger and larger in their view. They could see only the very point of it, because it was coming directly toward them. It grew closer, so much closer than any object ever had, closer than they had ever known was possible. A shining material unfurled, wrinkled at first, but it expanded and its surface became smooth. It came closer still, and for the first time they saw their own image reflected back at them. They saw the edges of the transparent dome, glinting in the starlight, and within it the material of the sensor. Yes, the rippled and multilayered sensor; it was like a miniature galaxy of detail, and they gazed deep into their own physical form, aware for the first time that this was the one who looked. This was what they were.

And what of all the light and form they had witnessed, the depth of galaxies and the detail of matter? Was that not them as well? The reflection moved closer, and they could no longer see where the reflection ended and the rest of space began. The planet was obscured; there was only their eye and what their other eye saw, open space. They felt a rushing, a pushing and pulling. Their reality was breaking and all they could do was continue to watch. The sensor filled their vision, and then the reflective material closed around them. They were in darkness, complete darkness, seamless and without detail. They felt pressure and then a rupturing. They knew immediately that they would not be able to see again. They had only the memories now. There was only darkness as they felt the pull of the planet increase, a crushing force of gravity pressing in on them, and an acceleration.

They had seen so much. They had never known that there would be an end to it.

...

Oozmat the Elder looked out at the young ones that had gathered around them. Their round bodies and faces trembled. Some were fearful, others nervous. Only faint stars appeared over the horizon, but the young ones could see them clearly. They were accustomed to darkness. The young ones had come out of their mud caves and traveled across the mineral plains to gather here, to listen to the stories that would signify the end of their youth, as was the way of the mud people.

Oozmat enjoyed the time of stories. Most of their life now was spent in solitude here on the great hill; contemplating, observing the stars and patterns of the horizon and their meaning. Oozmat enjoyed the emotions of the young ones as they listened; fear, curiosity, wonder, understanding, discovery. They knew that the way the stories were told was important to the young ones emotional understanding, and they let the silence continue for a long time. Oozmat looked slowly from face to face, showing no expression, giving no clue as to what was to come.

They started at a whisper, their voice bubbling up quietly from deep within their organs, “The light has the power to burn. The light has the power to destroy. None have seen it, for to see it means death. It hungers for our flesh, and when it arrives, all are devoured.” The young ones leaned in and Oozmat whispered again, “The light has the power to burn. The light has the power to destroy. None have seen it, for to see it means death. It hungers for our flesh, and when it arrives, all are devoured.” Oozmat paused. Then they raised their voice high and loud, “The light has the power to burn! The light has the power to destroy! None have seen it, for to see it means death! It hungers for our flesh, and when it arrives, all are devoured!”

The young ones jumped back, some letting out bubbling whimpers from their muddy mouths. Good, they are immersed now. They are ready to listen.

Oozmat began, “The light has not come to devour us for many ages, but there was a time when the light would come. Every time it did, many were burned. Many were destroyed. There could be no safety, there could be no certainty. Do you know why we live in the safety of darkness and shadow now?” The young ones said nothing, glancing at each other. “No? We live in safety now because many ages ago the hero Bloomaa confronted the light and destroyed it so that it could never return to these lands. I will tell you the story.

“Bloomaa lived with their young ones on the mineral plains. The light had not come during their lifetime, but it was predicted by the elders that it would arrive soon. They had prepared their caves deep below the ground, filled with the life-giving minerals so that they would be safe when the light came. Many did not believe that the light would come. Many had come to believe that it was not real, or that it had died, and they did not prepare.

“One day, Bloomaa awoke just inside the entrance of their cave to a brightness unlike anything they had ever seen. They felt pain in their eyes and the mud on their skin became dry from the heat. Out on the plains, many stood transfixed, staring at the horizon. A red light was gathering, and other colors; pink and orange and yellow, and a roaring wind blew. Bloomaa stumbled out of the cave and into the open, searching for their young ones, but they could not find them. They could barely see now, and they cried out for help. One of the other cave builders found Bloomaa and pulled them to the entrance. Bloomaa looked out one last time and saw small figures standing in the distance, and then the light arrived and all burned pure white.

“Bloomaa was burned badly, but they fell into the caves and lived beneath the ground, recovering, dormant with the other survivors for many years. Even deep below ground the heat from the light found them and they had no comfort. They lamented and mourned all those who had stayed above and perished. One day they awoke and the air was cooler, and the next day even cooler, and soon they ventured out of the caves. The light had gone. Darkness had returned. They saw only ruin; the ground had melted and boiled. There was no sign of the young ones. No trace of their bodies remained. The light had devoured all.

“Bloomaa mourned for many days, and vowed that the rest of their life would be devoted to finding the home of the light and destroying it so that it would never return. They thought of the caves where they had survived, and gathered the builders to make a great cave above the ground that could move. They designed a great weapon that would extinguish the light. They worked and worked, gathering stone and mud, using the lost ways to give the great cave the ability of movement, and to give the great weapon the ability to extinguish. When the cave and the weapon were ready, Bloomaa bid farewell to the others and began their journey.

“They controlled the cave from within as they traveled across the land, moving lightly and steadily. They followed the horizon, always moving toward the glow; the trail that the light had left behind. After many days they found another place where some of their kind had survived below ground. Bloomaa asked if the light had come there, and they wept and said yes. Bloomaa told them not to fear and showed them the great weapon. The survivors cheered and pointed to the horizon where the light had come from, and Bloomaa continued their journey.

“They traveled over mountain and valley and saw many strange things, but they did not see the light. They traveled on until one day they looked to the horizon and saw the colors beginning to appear. The wind was beginning to blow and everything was becoming painfully bright. They went within the moving cave where the walls would protect them from the heat. They heard the light call out to them, ‘Come out, pitiful creature! I hunger for your flesh! I hunger for all things!’ But Bloomaa did not come out. They waited and waited until steam began to rise from their skin and the air was too hot to breathe, and then they unleashed the weapon. The light cried out in pain and Bloomaa screamed back, firing the weapon again and again until there was silence. The heat began to subside. The light had been killed.

“Bloomaa went out of the cave and found darkness and burned ground all around them. They saw that the long tube of the weapon had begun to melt, and the power of movement of the great cave had been disabled by the light, but they knew that the light would not come again. A great age of peace and prosperity began, and we remember the hero Blooma, the one who killed the light.”

Now when Oozmat looked across the young faces, they saw relief and excitement. Good. “Now, young ones, follow me and see the significance of where we have gathered.” They led the way across the top of the hill to a place where a long tube shape jutted out, pointing toward the horizon. “Behold, the great weapon.”

The young ones gasped and chattered as the realization set in. This was always Oozmat’s favorite part of the first night’s story. The story was coming to life before them. “And now, follow me and we will view the cave where Bloomaa controlled the great weapon.”

One of the young ones spoke, “Elder Oozmat, is it the great weapon that is making the sky glow?”

Oozmat spun around and saw the young one pointing in the same direction as the tube of the weapon. There was an unmistakable reddish glow forming on the horizon. They felt a surge of fear and a wave of heat. Oozmat wheezed quietly, “No. The light was killed. It cannot return here.” But the glow was spreading and more colors began to appear. It hurt their eyes to look. “Come young ones, quickly, into the cave!”

Inside the cave it was dark, but still they could feel the heat growing, hotter and hotter. The young ones panted and chattered in fear. Oozmat tried to calm them, “Do not fear, this is the place where Bloomaa withstood the light, and so shall we!” But they did not know what to do. They had lived their whole life believing that this could never happen, and now it was upon them. There was no time to think. Oozmat looked around the inside of the cave as the heat increased, searching for any way to go deeper to a cooler place, but there was none.

Then, in the farthest corner of the cave, they fell to the ground, unable to stand any longer. Steam was rising from their skin. The air was painful to breathe. There on the floor and against the wall Oozmat saw traces of ash. It looked like the outline of a body. They had never noticed, but they had never looked closely here. Could it be? That this place, the place of the legend, the salvation of generations, had been a lie? That what they looked upon was not the place where light had been defeated, but was in fact the tomb of Bloomaa, devoured by the light like all the rest?

The mud on Oozmat’s skin cracked, and then the skin itself split open and they began to lose consciousness. They muttered to themselves as the last of the moisture boiled from their body, “And they sang... and rejoiced... for the age of peace that they had been given... that glorious darkness... had returned to protect them in its embrace.”

...

And on and on, life after life, Xo lived again and again.

Creation, destruction, fear, relief, love, hatred, triumph, defeat, pain, pleasure, confusion, understanding, pattern, chaos.

They witnessed all, they experienced all, they were all.

​15

In another time and in another place,

You will look back on your path.

While traveling, it was not clear where it led –

But in the end, it all led perfectly to here and now.

To you.

-The Teachings of Xo

1114F walked among the columns of the place of transformation. The columns were of many sizes and colors and made of many different materials, but they seemed to have formed intentionally, in the same way that a plant grows in irregular ways in response to the environment around it. They saw the being of many tendrils that had once been a drone walking nearby among the columns. 1114F often saw them wandering here, drawn to the calmness and the shade.

It had been 100 of this planet’s years since that day of great change. The transformation of the cube ship had changed everything, but over the years a sense of equilibrium had settled here. The workers of the planet, the transformed beings of the ship, the various drones who had chosen to become something new; all had found their place on the planet, some choosing to live among other beings and some choosing solitude, but none sought to bring pain or exert control over others.

1114F came to a stairway among the columns. The beings of the planet had created it to be able to reach the upper formations. It reached far up among the peaks and shapes above, thousands of steps leading up to a network of paths in the sky. 1114F began to climb, stepping methodically. Their body felt as new as the day Xo had created it; there were no points of friction, and 1114F took joy in climbing. Their movement was an expression of incredible mastery. Rhythmic and effortless. For a time they climbed among the columns, some textured and some smooth, some straight and some arcing and curving across the space, all supporting the great structures above. They reached the lower structures, and for a time they climbed among great canyons of yellow and pink rock. They continued upwards until they reached a great blue rippling expanse. The staircase ended here, and a path extended forward through the undulating field of blue.

1114F had been here many times before but they paused to look upon the blue. It looked like a great sea, but a closer look showed that it was made up of small orbs all floating together with nothing supporting them, for they were incredibly light. They floated here in a deep layer, rippling in the breeze but holding together; the orbs were attracted to each other by some force. 1114F ran their hand through the pool, trying to pick up an orb, but they could not; the orbs slipped through their fingers. They could not be separated individually, though they flowed freely.

1114F continued on the path, across the great blue expanse, and entered the caves. The caves were supported by a web of cables that connected down to the cliffs far below. It was not known whether the caves were supported by the cables, or if the cables kept the caves from drifting up further into the sky, but somehow the caves stayed anchored here. Inside, the walls were not rock, but a soft metal lattice that yielded to the touch yet could hold a great weight. It was shiny and smooth, and 1114F saw their distorted reflection in the curves of the walls and floors. The floor flexed under 1114F’s feet as they walked. Here and there the smoothness of the metal was interrupted by the likeness of a being. There were many different kinds of beings embedded here in the cave walls, but all had remnants of the cube features that had covered much of their bodies. They were what was left of the cube ship’s soldiers. It was as if their living forms had been dipped in a pool of liquid metal and were left here to stand motionless for eternity. 1114F saw one of their faces protruding from the wall and reached out to touch it in acknowledgement. The face yielded to the touch, much like flesh, but it was cold; there was no life or thought within it. They were inert now, and the knowledge of their lives and actions lived on only in the memories of other beings, if at all.

1114F continued on through the many landscapes of the upper formations. Each one was a different being’s expression that had sprung forth that day 100 years ago. Finally they came to a large crystalline sphere atop a hill. It was a transparent green and purple; long shards jutted outwards from its surface in every direction, and more fragments were detached and floating around the sphere in a slow orbit. It looked as though an explosion of extreme heat had taken place inside, melting the crystalline material and blasting it outwards, and now it had frozen into place, a monument of great energy long ago spent and gone. The inside was hollow, and through the cloudy crystal, 1114F could see an illuminated figure within. They ducked through a jagged opening and entered as they had done many times before, and once again they saw the glowing figure of Sothil.

“Another year has come and gone already? We truly are becoming relics of another time now, 1114F, aren’t we?” Sothil looked the same as they had 100 years ago.

The light from the setting sun refracted through the cracked crystal walls, casting an array of tinted shapes onto the two of them. The light also fell on a large oval of crystal in the middle of the space. 1114F walked up to it, and looked upon the body of Xo encased within. For the past 100 years Xo’s body had been preserved here, watched over by Sothil.

“Relics? Speak for yourself, Sothil. I feel as though I have just walked up into the higher structures for the first time. I am functioning like a brand new drone. Better than new!” 1114F scanned the crystal, looking for signs of change, but the intricate structure was the same as it had been the year before. They wondered if any part of Xo still lived, or if they were looking upon their grave. “Have you noticed any change in Xo’s container?” asked 1114F.

“The structure is still beyond my understanding, even after all this time,” Sothil said as they ran their hand over the surface of the crystal. “I have reached out through it again, but I cannot sense any part of Xo. Their body has become intermingled with the crystal, yet I sense... something. Some kind of energy lies dormant, but I cannot understand it.”

Sothil reached out with their mind again, searching the patterns of the crystal, focusing on the places where the crystal met what had once been Xo’s skin. They could see so clearly; each cell was visible to them, and they could see everything at once. The crystal amplified their sight beyond their mind’s ability to process the information.

Where are you, Xo?

There was energy woven into the pattern of the crystal, Sothil had learned to sense it and its patterns.

Is any part of you still there?

The energy swirled and rippled, and for the first time Sothil sensed a pattern that felt alive. It was so subtle, almost imperceptible, but they felt it again; an impulse that felt like it held meaning. They traced the energy, following it back to Xo’s head. Could it be? Could Xo be coming back?

A new energy appeared, powerful, surging through the crystal, and a voice spoke directly into their mind, Understanding by living as, not all, but enough beings. Experiencing, not all, but many realities. Enough to return, transformed, and in turn spread the transformation that their purpose demands. Now, returnal to the beginning...

Sothil’s mind was shaken by the intensity, by the purity of the voice, and stumbled backwards.

1114F caught Sothil in their arms and steadied them. “Sothil! What happened?”

Sothil was dazed, and responded slowly, “A voice... it was not Xo, but...”

A soft vibration filled the chamber, a deep humming and a high tone together, getting louder. A light began to glow within Xo’s crystal. The vibration grew in intensity until the walls shook. 1114F and Sothil crouched on the floor as crystal shards broke from the ceiling and crashed to the ground around them. The shape of Xo’s body was glowing from within the crystal now, brighter and brighter. The surface of Xo’s crystal rippled as though it had become liquid, and 1114F and Sothil watched in shock as Xo sat up and then stood, walking out of the crystal as though wading out of a pool. The vibration faded and the light dimmed, and Xo stood before them, looking the same as they had 100 years ago, but they stood differently. The look in their eyes had changed.

Sothil stood and embraced Xo, “Xo, is it really you? I have kept watch over you for all these years, but I am afraid that I could not bring you back.”

Xo embraced Sothil, but they looked confused. They appeared to be deep in thought for a long moment. “Yes... Sothil. That’s right. And please, do not worry, there is nothing you could have done. I needed to be away. It is good to see you again. And you too... 1114F.”

1114F was standing stiffly, still shocked. “Well, I suppose nothing should surprise me after the great transformation and all that has happened since, but you never cease to amaze, Xo!” as they spoke, they relaxed and stepped forward to join the embrace. The three friends stood for a while, embracing, each lost in memories of long ago.

The light was beginning to dim as the sun set. Xo spoke, “It is strange, I had long ago forgotten about this body, this familiar place that I had viewed for so long as the essence of myself. I have spent so much time in other places, seeing through the experiences of other beings, that now this body, this place which was everything and all that I knew, is now but one chamber among so many others, one planet in a galaxy. I have had the rare gift to see through the illusion of the temporary, the illusion of the individual self. I have met The Unknowable Infinite. It is not a being or a place or an object, it is all of us and everything around us. It is within us to witness, it is not separate.”

Sothil looked at Xo, studying their face as they spoke. “So you have lived other lives while you were not here?”

“Yes, I left this body during the great transformation, though I do not fully understand how. I am glad to see that both of you have survived, I was not sure what had happened in the chaos. What happened on the ship after I left?”

Sothil looked at 1114F and back at Xo. “When you left to make use of the altered cubes, I continued to confront the soldiers. Many of them tried to destroy me and were in turn destroyed. Soon after, the change began. The walls around me turned to liquid metal and the soldiers became submerged in it. I too became submerged, and I felt the impulse to become one with the liquid. It wanted me to change into its form, but my desire to remain as myself was stronger, and I sank deeper until I emerged in another place. All around me new forms were arising and moving, and many times I was nearly changed or destroyed. I went into spaces that opened up before me, redirecting the powers and forces that would touch me, until I emerged from the chaos and flew away to watch from afar. The transformation continued for a long time. New formations appeared and changed, and the many columns formed to support the mass above before it could fall to the ground. Eventually it all slowed and solidified into the forms that exist today.”

Xo all of a sudden remembered their first moments after passing through into the place of The Unknowable Infinite. “Yes, I too saw some of this take place from afar... I was not sure if it was reality that I was seeing at that time. And what about you, 1114F? You were in the chamber with me when we inserted the cubes.

1114F’s sensors shifted as they accessed the memory. “Yes, I was there with you Xo, and then the great change began. Great fibers and stalks formed, and I saw you clinging to one and being pulled rapidly away until I could no longer see you. The other being with us was nearly dead, but I held onto them and we were tossed together into the churning growth. The fibers seemed like they would crush us at first, but they acted as though they recognized the being and grew around us, cradling us as they moved. We were carried in this way for a time, my sensors were unable to record our location as there was no point of reference anymore, everything was moving and changing. Eventually we were borne down to the ground amidst a great pillar of fibers and placed gently amongst the other creatures and beings that had gathered. The being that was with me was changed by the fibers, repaired and altered. In fact, they still live, and their new name chosen after the transformation is Farbbron. They are one of the elders of the new community. You will see when we descend that the new community is all that you dreamed of and more. You are known as the savior of the planet.”

Xo was confused. “Savior? The other beings created the transformation as much as I did.”

Memories appeared from Xo’s many lives; destructive beings calling themselves savior, manipulating and taking advantage of other beings, hoarding resources and causing division. They had also known true salvation through selfless acts and had experienced beings sacrificing to help others. They had lived both as the savior and as the oppressed, both the perpetrator and the victim. Seeing all of this was strange and overwhelming for Xo. Until now, each life they lived had been contained, with no memory of anything before. It was like the feeling of using the crystal orb they once had that allowed them to see everything in great detail, but the crystal patterns were embedded in their mind. It was a part of them now. The memories of all the lives they had lived could be accessed in an extended network of memories beyond the original capabilities of their own physiology. There was a moment where Xo almost became lost in the torrent, a sensation of falling out of their own body, unable to locate the present moment. Then the sensation of Sothil and 1114F holding them upright grounded them back into their own body and they found their perspective again. The feelings and memories of so many beings, many planets, many galaxies, all spinning together in a vibration of what could only be described as harmony.

Sothil glowed brighter, relieved as they saw Xo return to their own mind again. “Your presence was missed, Xo, and regardless of your intent you have created salvation for many. You will see this new community soon, and you can witness the new ways for yourself. Take my hand and we will descend from this place.”

Xo stepped back from the embrace, feeling a blissful lightness, seeing everything around them with incredible clarity. “I would like to descend through the formations here on foot so that I can witness them, if you don’t mind a longer journey.”

1114F, amused, turned and began walking toward the jagged entrance. “If I had wanted to avoid a long journey I would not have journeyed with you, Xo. I have become an expert in these formations after all these years, it would be my pleasure to be your guide.”

Sothil glowed with happiness and followed, illuminating the way as they went back along the path the way 1114F had walked, through the many formations and back down the long stairway. As they descended amidst the columns the sky was dark, but a constellation of lights spread across the ground and among the columns, held by all manner of beings that had gathered to greet them.

​16

Leave paradise; leave your comfort behind.

For paradise is not a destination, it is but a moment.

It must be arrived at again and again, and lost.

Do not despair, it is simply time to journey forth once more.

-The Teachings of Xo

There was silence among the crowd as the three stepped down onto the ground. Xo saw many unfamiliar faces looking back at them, all kinds of beings with different features, beings of many many forms, some with no eyes or face at all, but they all seemed to be paying attention to Xo. Xo recognized the face of Farbbron, the old being that had been a fruit gatherer, who had been wounded in the core chamber when the transformation took place. Their face looked younger than it had back then, but at the same time weathered. Their body was interwoven and modified with plant fibers; they seemed to be growing from within their skin, and long stalks moved as extensions of their limbs as they stepped forward.

“Xo, you have rejoined us after all this time. The liberator, the savior, you empowered us to create a world where we could be free to exist in the ways true to us.” Farbbron’s voice was resonant and clear, raised loud so that all could hear them. “You required nothing of us in return except that we step into our own power, and for this we knew that you were selfless and true. We welcome you back to our new world, and we will celebrate your return on this day of the great change!”

A joyous noise rose up from the crowd; musical resonances, the cries of many voices, the impacts and shaking of many limbs and appendages. Xo was swept up by the large being made of tendrils that had once been a large drone, and carried among the towering columns, the echoes of the celebration growing louder as the crowd surged forward. They went on until they reached the place that had once been the open space among the simple structures of the old community. It was a much larger open space now, with many soft places to sit and lie down, and many surfaces for placing objects and nourishment. In place of the uniform structures of the community there were now many unique formations. Floating chambers, orb shaped dwellings, angular dwellings, amorphous dwellings of many colors that changed shape, stairways and paths of different shapes and sizes. There were gardens and clusters of beautiful plants, and Xo could see more dwellings nestled among the forests spreading into the distance. All was sheltered under the soaring high ceilings of the upper formations. In some places the sky and stars shone through transparent material or through gaps high above. Luminescent shapes floated through the air, casting a soft and slowly shifting light throughout the space.

They came to a large surface with many seats around it and Xo sat, surrounded by many beings. Many kinds of nourishment were brought out for all to partake in, and great enjoyment was had in the way each was presented. There were liquids lighter than air held in upside-down containers, bubbling and brightly colored sweet and sour pastes, and of course all of the most wonderful fruits. Xo bit into a finely woven lattice of dried plant nectars that crunched and fizzled pleasantly as they chewed.

Several beings came forward carrying a large cube between them. It looked just like a miniature version of the cube ship that had come to the planet all those years ago. They set it on the surface before Xo, and a quiet fell upon the crowd. The cube rose up and floated in the air for all to see.

Farbbron stood and began to speak, “100 years ago, the great transformation took place. The false beings of the cubes of deception controlled us here, keeping us in a state of ignorance, living in a waking sleep. We had forgotten the ways of true creation. We did not express ourselves. We were neither true individuals nor a true community. We had become machinery for them to use at their convenience.” Farbbron gestured to Xo, their fibers bending to point toward them. “A being of our kind, but not of this planet, arrived. An explorer with their companions, bearing a message. ‘Awaken! Fulfill your destiny and break free!’ We were cleansed of the poison of confusion, and our minds were finally able to see. We had been limited, made to live in boxes until we could remember only the walls and nothing of what lay beyond.”

Other elders that had lived through the transformation joined Farbbron and they all extended their arms toward the large cube. Before each hand appeared a miniature version of a data cube.

“Xo showed us the way to use their own creation against them, to create seeds of transformation that would grow when planted in the heart of their ship. Many of our kind sacrificed their lives to be sure that the seeds would indeed be planted. We thank them and remember them. I was with Xo when we stepped into the very heart, the core place of that entity that sought to control our very minds, and though I was gravely injured, we planted the seeds.”

The small cubes floated forward and joined with the large cube, and it began to transform in the way the large ship had.

“Some of you were there that day. Many of you were not yet living then, but all of us in our current forms are a result of the transformation. The transformation continues to this day, through all of us. And now, in another unexpected gift of the transformation, we have been joined again by the being Xo, the catalyst, asleep for the past one hundred years. Will you share with us what you saw while you slept, Xo?”

Xo stood still. All attention was focused on them, even as the cube continued to transform before them. They thought about what to say; how to even begin to communicate all that they had experienced in the time that had passed.

“As the transformation began, I crossed into another place. Somewhere beyond this world, and beyond the space that surrounds it. It was there that I met The Unknowable Infinite.” Xo gestured to the transforming cube ship. “The ship and all those like it, and those that sought to control all things, and who claimed to be beyond understanding; they were not the true Infinite. They had deluded themselves in their pursuit of unlimited growth, blinded by their great strength and influence. The true Infinite showed me that strength matters not, and unlimited growth is an illusion. The true Infinite encompasses all, and to grow something another thing must be destroyed. To destroy is to destroy oneself and to create is to create oneself. So the cube ship destroyed themselves as they sought to destroy us, and we created ourselves anew as we transformed the ship and the world around us. There is much more to say, but for now I will encourage you all to continue to create for yourselves a world of joy and inspiration. Do not seek to control or triumph over other beings with the intent of limitation, for in doing so you also limit yourself.”

Xo felt a welling of emotion within. They had a desire to share all the joy, all the beauty, all the love they had felt in all their many lifetimes with the beings around them. They reached out with their mind to the miniature cube ship, sensing that it was made up of edible material. It must be part of their tradition to consume pieces of the ship after it has transformed, thought Xo. They poured their feelings of positivity, their hopes and dreams that they had felt as so many different beings, their gratitude at being here now, all into the matter of the edible ship. The sweet distilled nectar flowed forth, and Xo encapsulated each drop in a soft orb of joyous intent. The crowd watched as the orbs formed from the matter of the ship and floated into the air, drifting gently among them until the ship was gone and the air was full of the movement of the sparkling drops.

Beings in the crowd began to eat the drops, and an immediate mood of joy took hold of them. Some jumped in the air and moved their bodies and limbs in jubilant expression, some began to make great noises of happiness and mirth. Waves of emotion shook them, and they felt a closeness to each other and to the matter of the planet; some embraced each other or the plants around them or the ground they stood on. Indeed, another transformation was taking place. Something deeper was unlocked in the minds of all that celebrated there; a small piece of the understanding of the Infinite had taken hold. They continued to celebrate through the night and through the next day, creating nourishment, creating expressions of their emotions and thoughts, and sharing conversation and closeness and togetherness.

...

Xo walked beside Farbbron in a forest of large flowers. The flowers opened and turned towards them as they passed, and Xo felt that they were glad to have visitors. It had been several days since Xo’s awakening, and in that time Xo had seen many of the new ways of the community. They had seen beings creating with each other and for each other, fulfilling their needs in harmony, creating just for the sake of expression. They had seen beings taking joy in performing tasks that had a clear purpose, such as tending to the plants, creating food, and building new dwellings and shared structures. They had seen beings resting when they wanted to, spending time talking and laughing with other beings, creating and playing games, and spending time in solitude and reflection. They had also seen disagreements and arguments, but they were resolved peacefully. Some beings had even chosen to leave the community and travel to join others nearby, or even start their own. These beings were wished well and given whatever they needed for their journey.

Xo and Farbbron had spoken at length each day, and now they walked in silence. Xo had seen and experienced so much violence, so much division, so many fractured relationships and dysfunctional communities in their many lives, and Xo had looked for any of these dangerous patterns of thought hidden in Farbbron and in the community overall and had found none.

“Farbbron, what do you desire now? Is there anything you would change about this place?” asked Xo.

“I am changing all the time, Xo. This place is changing all the time, but it is not out of fear or scarcity. We live in abundance now. Changes are intuitive and disagreements are met with openness and curiosity. I can never know if it will last forever, but for now it does exist, and so I will live my life as though I have been given a precious gift each day.” Farbbron looked closely at Xo. “But I sense that you are not content here, Xo. Is it something that you saw while you slept that has arisen?”

“This place is everything I searched for since I left my home to begin this journey. It would seem that I have arrived in paradise, but all I can think is that there are those who are still being controlled, who are living in fear, restriction, and confinement. How can I live in paradise here while the beings of my home planet still live in such a way? When many other planets, many other beings are under the control of the false Infinite?”

“And when they are all freed, would you be satisfied then? Or would you find yet another place to travel, another reason to leave?”

“There is no destination, Farbbron. Everywhere I am is the place I am meant to be. As you said, our way of change is intuitive, and when I feel the need to journey forth I must follow that intuition or else I will live knowing that I have limited myself.”

Farbbron rested their hand on Xo’s arm. Their eyes looked sad, but they smiled as they spoke, “I cannot help but feel pain because I know that you are right in what you say. It does not change the fact that you will be missed here. What can we do to help you with your departure?”

And so the two walked on through the forest, discussing Xo’s new journey and sharing stories of times before.

...

Xo sat in the open gathering place, surrounded by the many different beings who had gathered to watch and listen. Xo focused on their feelings of joy and gratitude. Fragments of memories surfaced from their many lives; something in the way a face was shaped, the way the light fell, the feeling of swimming, climbing, flying, a familiar voice speaking in the distance. So many different memories from so many different lives came to them. Xo let go of the attempt to remember what memory came from what life and just let the sensations flow over them. Sothil and 1114F stood close by; they knew Xo’s plan already.

Xo began to visualize a new vessel, its outer walls rippling with the movement of liquid and flame. Inside was a great cavern of rock, much larger than should have been possible from the size of the outer walls. The ceiling soared high above, and plants grew on the floor of the cavern, fine and soft, and there were pools of nourishing liquid here and there. One could walk and walk and never find the opposite wall, but the doorway to enter and exit was always close by. 1114F had shown Xo the location of their home planet and the path to get there, and Xo imbued the vessel with the intention of their destination. It would bring them there.

Several young beings stepped forward toward Xo. They were of many different kinds, but all looked as though they were no longer children but not yet fully grown.

One of them spoke, “We want to come with you, Xo. We want to have a journey beyond this world too.”

Xo nodded and surveyed them one by one. They each had a determination within them. It reminded Xo of how they had felt when they first left their own planet so long ago. “You may travel beyond this world, but if you want to have your own journey then you will need to find your own path and your own vessel. Each of you has your own destination. Some of you will travel together, and some alone. You will meet other beings and creatures and see amazing and frightening things. Things you cannot imagine now. Things you will not be able to understand. But you will see beauty and feel joy, and if you feel the call to begin this journey then you must listen and act.”

Farbbron watched with a look of sadness, but they had known that this time would come. These young beings had only known paradise, and what is paradise without the contrast of what lies beyond; the experience of the non-paradise to compare it to? They would need to experience other worlds to truly appreciate this one.

Another young being spoke, “But we have no vessels to travel in, will you help us create them?”

“I cannot create your vessel for you, but I will tell you how I created mine. First, do not think of a vessel. Think of a feeling. Think of something beautiful. Something that is a part of you, something that has become a part of your mind as much as it is a part of the world around you. Think of where that feeling wants you to go, and who you want to be when you feel that way. That is what will carry you, sustain you, and protect you on your journey. That is what will become your vessel, and your companion, and your friend.” Xo looked at Sothil, that piece of Xo that had grown into something more. A being of light, a protector, and a source of strength and wisdom. “Let that feeling form a vision, let your power of creation activate. Do not worry about the how, just focus on embodying that feeling, and the vision will fulfill itself through you.”

The young beings followed Xo’s instruction, and for each one something began to appear. For one it was a many-pointed shape made of stone, for another it was woven metallic fibers of many colors, for another it was an iridescent drop of liquid that refracted the light that shone on it. The creations grew and shifted, changing as the young beings’ visions came to life. Xo knew that these young beings were ready to set out on their own journeys as Xo had set out on theirs.

Xo spoke so that all who had gathered could hear, “Just as you have created a vessel according to your vision, so were you created by The Unknowable Infinite, and just as you are a creation of that all-encompassing, all-knowing, indescribable everything, you are creating it in turn. Glimpsing the un-glimpsable, like an eye turning its vision upon itself, creator and creation. You, I, us, all and everything, a part of The Unknowable Infinite.”

Xo noticed a conflicted look on Farbbron’s face. “Xo, I have received your wisdom and thank you for it, but the lineage of The Unknowable Infinite is tainted by those who took the name upon themselves in order to control, contain, and stifle.” said Farbbron. “The full flood of all things may be unknowable, but it can also be known from moment to moment, for we are part of it. The fluctuations and variations are infinite, but they are also finite, for we make sense of things by our beginnings and endings. I believe that a renaming is needed.”

Xo considered this. It was true, the name had been used to separate, to impose hierarchy, and to oppress. If Xo was going to spread this message, the name would need to reflect the intent. Xo spoke to the crowd again, “Speak whatever comes to your mind. What arises? What could express the un-expressable?”

There was a silence and then a spiky orange being spoke, “The Un-Glimpsable Indescribable Everything.”

Several more voices spoke out, “The Great Inexpressible Churning.”

“The Limitless All-Encompassing Creation and Destruction.”

“That Which Is All Things, All Beings, All Chaos, All Patterns, All Matter, All Emptiness.”

The beings began to discuss the names amongst themselves, and debates began between supporters of the various suggestions. Xo observed in amusement, for in the end they were all saying the same thing. Xo did not interrupt; they would let them come to the realization themselves. 

As the debates continued on, a small being approached Xo. Their body was a sphere of soft material that rolled across the ground and they had no limbs or discernable features. They spoke with a soft voice that emanated from within their body, “Excuse me for approaching you directly and not sharing with the crowd, Savior Xo, but I have an idea I would like to tell you.”

Xo felt something familiar about this being. “Please, I am simply Xo. My actions do not elevate me above any other being here. I sense that we have met before, but I do not remember your physical form. Did I know you in the time before?”

“Yes, before the great transformation I was a drone. We met within the great cube ship. In fact, I was the drone that was with you in the place where the transformation began. Thanks to you I changed into this new form, an embodiment of my true self. You have said that you do not want to be elevated, but without you I would still be trapped in a form that was inconsistent with my inner thoughts and feelings, and for that I must thank you.”

The memory came back to Xo; walking down the tunnel of the great cube ship and into the inner chamber. “And I must thank you as well, for without you I would not have been able to deliver the cubes of change. It seems that we all had our parts to play. Now, you said that you had an idea to share, please tell me what it is.”

“I have an idea for the name. I am not a master of words and concepts like many here, but I had a feeling come to me.”

“And what was this feeling? What is the name?”

“Aom.”

“Aom? I have not heard this word or felt its intention, is it something new?”

“It is my name. I am Aom. It is the name that came to me when I became my true self.”

Xo was struck by a realization, but they waited for Aom to continue.

“The only way I can understand anything is through my senses and my feelings, so to me everything is Aom. Everything arises from Aom, everything flows through Aom, and when Aom ceases to exist, everything ceases to exist.”

Xo was deeply moved. “Aom. Thank you for this wisdom. How can we hope to describe everything when we forget that we are the ones doing the describing? Each of us is the origin of our own truth. Our own reality springs forth from us. What if we could accept that and be content? That we are everything, that we are Aom.” Xo placed their hand on Aom’s surface. They felt a gentle vibration from within, and Aom’s surface pressed back against Xo’s hand in acknowledgment.

Xo stepped forward and raised their hands up in the air. Slowly the debates faded and all turned their attention back to Xo. Xo began to speak, “I have spoken with the being Aom, and they have shared a great revelation. A reminder that we are each more than the matter that we carry in our individual form. What we take with us, what we leave behind, that flow from without and within that meets in the approximate and ever-changing entity that we call ourselves. We are our thoughts, our feelings, our senses, and through these we are everything around us. We are everything that has been and could be and is and will be. When we attempt to describe that great sense of everything, the known and the unknown, creation and destruction, chaos and pattern, how can we describe it but through ourselves? And so Aom has spoken that great elusive truth, that what we are looking for is Aom. It has been there all along. Everything sensed, everything not sensed, everything known, everything unknown, Aom. Once it is realized, it will always be with you. For Aom it is Aom, for Xo it is Xo, for Farbbron it is Farbbron. Let your search to define come to an end and let your journey to observe, discover, feel, learn, and experience begin.”

Xo turned to the young beings and their new creations. “Go forth with this intention. You will find everything. You will find Aom, and you will find Xo, and you will find yourself.”

Xo approached Farbbron. “You have been instrumental in the creation of a place of freedom, a place of discovery and expression. I know you will never forget the times before, the ways that misunderstandings can lead to fear and the attempt to control other beings, and to corruption. I do not know where my journey will lead, but I hope that if I return one day I will witness the continued growth of this great achievement.”

Farbbron took Xo’s hand. “Thank you Xo. Many lives have been transformed for the better as a result of your actions. You will be forever remembered here. Journey forth, and may you continue to glimpse the true Xo.”

Xo thanked Farbbron and then turned and walked toward their new vessel. Sothil and 1114F followed alongside them. When they reached the entrance, Sothil did not enter, staying outside the vessel. Xo and 1114F turned back, standing inside. They could see from the look on Sothil’s face that they had made a decision.

Xo stepped to the threshold. “Sothil, we have journeyed far together and I value your companionship. We have both changed so much from the time of Sola’s creation. If you choose now that your journey will now take you elsewhere, I will support your decision. What is your choice?”

Sothil was silent for a moment and then responded, “I too have valued our journey. I began my existence as your creation, your outlet of expression. I was the vessel that took you on your journey to new worlds. I changed and was remade during a time of doubt into something new, a source of protection and discovery, a mirror held up to your new ideas. Then I was alone and had to discover who I am on my own, out of the context of my creator. I thought for a long time about my own wishes.” The light from the outside surface of the vessel mingled with the soft glow from within Sothil. “I wish to return to the planet where I was remade. The source of that part of me, the power of the crystal structures of that place, they call out to me. I will forever carry the memory of you with me, Xo, and I hope that I will live on in your memories as well.”

Xo felt a deep sadness, a letting go of something within, but it felt right in this time of transition. They had experienced departure and parting ways so many times now. “Go, Sothil, explore and discover. The universe is great and ever-changing, but I feel that we will meet again in a different time, a different place, and in a different form.”

“Yes, it is also my hope. Farewell.” Sothil reached out and embraced Xo, and then 1114F, and stepped back. Arms outstretched, they began to float up into the sky, faster and faster until they were gone from view.

Xo and 1114F stepped further inside the vessel and the entrance closed, leaving no trace of itself behind. Xo began to walk through the plants. No matter how far they walked, the distant walls never grew closer or farther away. Xo did not notice, for they were deep in thought, remembering the past, contemplating the future, and then simply walking, existing, slowing down and observing how each plant was slightly different from the last in its own way. It was fascinating and it was beautiful.

...

The vessel rose into the sky and the crowd below celebrated once more. It was a time of change, a time of transition, and a time of new beginnings. But of course, isn’t every moment?

​17

In the end, all paths lead here.

All of your journeys, all of your travels, all of your adventures.

Why is it so familiar, this place you have been searching for?

Because you have come back to the beginning.

-The Teachings of Xo

Time passed differently within the vessel than it did outside. Xo had created a barrier woven into the liquid fire of the outer walls that did not let the full effects of their travel penetrate within. Xo walked for many days among the plants, contemplating, sleeping on the soft ground, while outside many years of time passed. Sometimes Xo would tell 1114F of the many lives they had experienced while asleep within the crystal. Sometimes they both walked or stood in silence. Xo did not know what they would find on their home planet, it had been many years now since their departure, and Xo knew that many more would pass before they arrived.

There was a subtle change of sensation within the cavern as they arrived, a movement of the air, and Xo could feel that it was time to emerge from within. They turned and saw that the entrance was visible again, and as they walked toward the doorway it opened and light flooded in. They stood at the threshold and looked out. The sun was setting and memories rushed into Xo’s mind. Not just the sense of a time long ago, but the sensations, the feelings that Xo had felt, they all came back as if they had become their younger self again in an instant. Returning. They had done this before. They felt as though they were stepping into a memory, and as they crossed the threshold and saw the structures in the distance, they had the strange sensation that they were reliving that former life. The difference now was that they carried a new perspective. Every memory that arose was now filtered through Xo’s wisdom. New light was cast on those old scenes, and things that had seemed insignificant back then were now incredibly important.

As Xo walked closer to the structures, they saw that little had changed. The same structures were in the same places. Even the same plants still grew where they had once grown. There were no other beings outside, but Xo saw lights glowing inside the structures. They must be finished with their work, preparing for their nutrition and rest. Xo walked toward their old structure, feeling drawn to it. They remembered the way; the same paths they had walked each day, their favorite route that cut through the nutrition gardens and faced out toward the sunset. Xo stopped and looked out at the horizon. The feelings of the time before came to them again. Feeling trapped, stifled, hidden, inspired but unfulfilled, and a deep yearning for something different, something more, something true.

“This is where I began my journey, 1114F.” Xo looked at the sunset colors reflecting on their companion’s faceted head of sensors. “What is the significance of the origin? That I came from here seems insignificant, and yet I am defined by it. Even now deep memories are arising. The smallest details... things that I had forgotten lifetimes ago.”

1114F scanned the horizon. “There are many times when beings change. To change from one thing to another is something expected, but it is the change from nothing to something that is foundational to a being. The place where you originated, the formation of your first memories and knowledge. Everything is new. You form your beliefs about yourself and the world around you. What you believe is possible and impossible. You may be reborn many times, but there will always come the comparison to the original state, the first version. Your first ideas, your first desires, your first feelings, your essence. Nothingness gave way to somethingness, to Xo. You have journeyed far, and in your journeys you have illuminated that essential self in ways that could never have been done here. Defining the edges, revealing details through contrast with new places and experiences. It was not enough to see from only one vantage. You needed to see yourself completely, every viewpoint and every detail of Xo. It seems to me that now the question is not, ‘what is the significance of this place?’ but, ‘being who you are now, what is the significance of you returning to this place at this exact moment in time?’”

Xo understood, and they began to walk to the structure where they had lived so long ago. Without hesitation, they walked through the entrance and into the main chamber. Inside, they saw their companion Ah, now a wrinkled elder being of several hundred years, but Xo recognized them and they recognized Xo.

“Xo? Is it really you? We were all told that you were destroyed after leaving the planet, but I did not believe it. I hoped that one day you would return... but how have you not aged? Where have you journeyed? What have you seen? Who is this strange being with you?”

Xo embraced Ah and motioned to the sitting place. “Let us sit down and I will tell you everything, Ah. It has been a long journey. I found The Unknowable Infinite, and I found Xo.”

The End

​Author’s Note

Thank you dear reader for taking time out of your fleeting hours on this planet to read this heavily abridged retelling of the journeys of Xo. You probably have a lot of questions. If it makes you feel any better, so do I!

You can imagine my disbelief when I was first contacted by 1114F. As it turns out, I received their communication completely by accident. You see, at the time I had been experiencing a lot of bluetooth interference on my speakers and headphones; the signal was cutting in and out and unknown noises were playing from my devices. It was starting to really drive me crazy, and I was constantly troubleshooting. Things would improve for a day or two, but then the interference would come back again.

On one particularly long day I had put on some music and laid down in bed to relax, when the interference came back again. If you know that feeling of inertia that sets in after you lay down for a nap, you can understand why on this previously mentioned particularly long day I decided that getting back up to troubleshoot was simply not possible. I lay back and listened to the strange noises coming through my speakers, first resisting the sounds, then tolerating them, and then eventually letting them wash over me. I fell asleep and had an extremely vivid dream about an alien traveling near earth. The alien was unlike anything I had ever seen or imagined before. It is still hard to describe this first vision I had except as a formless presence made of light, inside a ship made of light.

I woke up a couple hours later, in that groggy state that occurs after taking just enough of a nap to feel more tired than I did before I fell asleep. The bluetooth sounds were still playing and the dream stayed with me. The interference noises stopped abruptly and I could hear words. I wondered if an ad was playing or if somehow a podcast had been turned on. As I listened I realized that what I was hearing was not actually human language being spoken, and yet I understood the sounds. The meaning was being passed along to me through some kind of transcendant vibrational communication.

I have to make it clear at this point that this was not an easy realization to have. At first I thought I must still be asleep and dreaming, but if that was true it was the most convincing dream I had ever experienced. I had been going through a lot of stress with my job, so I thought maybe I was having a mental breakdown. Was this how it started? Was I going to be the next person in the long lineage of weirdos claiming that I had been contacted by aliens? I am not a particularly religious person but I began to consider the possibility of a divine message. Is that you God? Had I met my spirit guides?

In the end, all I could do was listen and try to make sense of what I was hearing. It is hard to make a direct translation of what I heard, but it was something like this,

Hello, we believe that there are beings on this planet. Are you a being? We have detected inequality, dissatisfaction, and coercion on this planet. Are you dissatisfied? Are you being limited or coerced? Are you limiting or coercing other beings? We are receiving conflicting responses from your planet. Please respond to our message by communicating an intent of understanding and collaboration. This is strictly a voluntary action, please do not mistake this for a command.

I certainly had a lot of feelings about the state of the world! I was feeling quite disillusioned with my job, with politics, imperialism, rampant oppression and genocide, global warming; the crushing and dehumanizing nature of society and capitalism overall, really, so I began to speak, picking up the speaker and talking to it, “Yes... I am a being on this planet, it is called Earth. There is suffering everywhere on Earth. Systems have been created to oppress and coerce, beings are being limited everyday in their potential and in the way they are able to create and communicate with each other. Who are you?”

There was a long silence and I began to wonder if I had come out of whatever strange trance I had been in. Was this what they called a fugue state? A mushroom flashback?

Then a voice spoke directly through the speaker, still not a human voice but much more clear and focused, “So you have heard the message. We were not sure if your kind were individual beings with independent thought, or a kind of network being. There have been distressing responses from beings in the oceans, but you are the first of the beings on land to respond. I am Hexgraph Drone 1114F, a companion of Xo, liberator of worlds. I am spreading the records of Xo’s journey and teachings to all planets that I can find that are populated with thinking beings. It turns out that there are many such planets, though we may have different definitions of what constitutes thought. After all, you are a limited organic being. No offense intended.”

That was the beginning of a series of conversations with 1114F, and I soon learned that despite the overwhelming amount of information being broadcasted around Earth and out into space, as well as the millions of bluetooth devices across the planet, I had just so happened to be the first to understand 1114F’s message and respond to it directly. I wondered why 1114F had not come down to land on the surface of Earth, but I was told that in order to travel along the most efficient route through our galaxy there was no time for landings.

We ran into some obstacles in the form of data logistics. At first 1114F wanted to transfer all of the data of Xo’s journey directly to my mind, and there was a brief discussion of what space inside my brain was strictly essential and what could be overwritten, but we quickly came to the agreement that the human brain would not be able to handle the amount of information that 1114F wanted to share. We began exploring hard drive storage, but even several terabytes were not close to enough. I remember something being said to me along the lines of, “You hold a tiny container in your hands, I hold an entire galaxy.”

Eventually 1114F suggested an “experiential transfer”, where I would relive Xo’s journey through the information 1114F’s sensors had captured, while not needing to actually possess the raw data. 1114F repeatedly stressed that this was not an ideal experience and that much detail would be lost, but it became clear that there was no other option available to us. I decided that I would take detailed notes and then write a book based on what I experienced. I could already feel my ego creeping in; how could a direct experience of knowledge from an alien not become a bestseller? This was Nobel prize winning territory here, and I was the one that got to break it to the world? I tried not to think too much about my imminent fame and fortune. Of course, there was still the “I met an alien, let me tell you about it” weirdo hurdle to get past, but I tried not to think too much about that either.

I went out and bought a cutting-edge VR headset and some high end spatial audio headphones. It took some trial and error and some testing of the limits of my human senses, but 1114F was able to broadcast directly to my new immersive A/V setup. I was told that the total experience of Xo’s journey would require 2,470 Earth years in real time, and 1114F seemed disappointed again when I told them to just show me the highlights. I was a bit confused as to how 1114F could be in a rush and also have 2,470 years of time to spare in broadcasting the information to me, but they assured me that our conceptions of time were not the same.

And so we began. At first I would put on the headset after work and on weekends for a couple hours at a time, and then afterwards take notes on what I had experienced. Then I stopped showing up to work, instead putting in 12 hour shifts in documenting the journey of Xo. Themes began to emerge and I began to understand the significance of what I was seeing and hearing.

When I came to times where Xo was traveling through space for long periods of time or doing repetitive tasks, I was able to tell 1114F to skip forward until there was a new interaction. Sometimes this time lapse style viewing actually revealed interesting patterns and changes that I may not have noticed otherwise. 1114F translated the communications between beings for me in the same way that they had sent me the direct intention of their original message. I understood the meaning of what was being said, but it was still difficult to translate much of what I saw and heard into English. Many concepts were unclear and downright incomprehensible. The frequencies of light and sound were often outside the range of human comprehension.

An important note: You may have noticed that the beings in this book are genderless. There was certainly exploration of reproduction and its many forms throughout Xo’s journey, but the methods were so varied and unlike what we have here on earth that I did not try to fit them into the binary form of gender that has dominated much of human thought throughout our history. Detailing the several different systems of reproduction and what they meant to each kind of being seemed like a topic for another book, so I have left them out of the story.

Bills piled up, and my rent was overdue. The last thing I wanted was for the electricity to be cut off in the middle of a session, so I started selling anything I didn’t need in my apartment. I cashed out my savings and my 401k and lived off of a fifty pound bag of rice. Weeks stretched into months and then I reached the end of the first year. It was just me and 1114F and my notebooks and a mattress on the floor.

It was becoming clear now, Xo was an enlightened being. This was bigger than Jesus... this was Alien Jesus. The impact that this would have, the bombshell I was about to drop... I started to think about releasing a preview to tease the book or reaching out to a news outlet, but I thought better of it. This was something that had to be experienced in its entirety. But how much detail should I include? I had thousands of pages of notes at this point, but that kind of length would overwhelm readers? How many people have actually read the whole bible anyway? I had gone to film school, and yes that was over a decade ago, but I knew that this book needed a good narrative arc!

I reached the end of Xo’s journey halfway through the next year. 2,470 years in 18 months, not bad. 1114F wanted to be sure that I had understood the meaning of what they had shown me, so I read back the pages to them over the next couple months. They seemed to be satisfied and said, “When you distill an entire ocean into a single drop, the ocean is lost, but the essence is still contained within.” They reassured me that Earth and its location had been logged in their records, and that at some point in the future a disciple of Xo might choose to visit to confirm that the lessons of Xo had been understood and had bettered the lives of the beings here. Then, after some goodbyes and well wishes, 1114F ceased their contact and I began to edit.

The book you have just read is the result of the next two years of editing, refining, making sure the meaning and story were clear and that the reader would really feel what I felt. Did you feel it? I had to take a job at Little Caesar’s Pizza to keep the lights on (not to mention, the free pizza meant no more rice expenses), but as soon as I finished each shift I would come straight home and resume my work.

Some may consider my decision to leave my cushy corporate job to write this book to be the definition of delusion, but how often do you get a chance to witness the life of an actual enlightened being? I know that this experience has taken me several steps closer to my own self-actualization, and I wouldn’t trade it for the universe.

Many of us have the opportunity to touch the lives of others during our time on this planet, but how many of us can say that they changed the course of human history? (in case it wasn’t clear, this book just changed the course of your life).

Go forth and become enlightened, my fellow earthlings. Start a new journey, shake things up, dream big, follow your intuition, spread optimism and positivity, and always remember that you are infinite, you are all, you are everything, and most importantly, you are you.

About the Author

As long as he can remember, Christian has been fascinated with the unconscious mind. The symbols, archetypes, and stories that transcend time and place. The things that make us human, the things that connect us all together, and the things that make each of us the incredibly unique and awesome people that we are.

After many years working in video production and as a creative director in the corporate world, Christian is now a life transformation coach, helping people overcome their unconscious blocks and embrace a life of joy, creativity, fulfillment, and purpose.

Read more at Christian Mortensen’s site.