The French Connection Series

A Dance Towards Forever

Diving Into Her

Always Emilie

Alyson Root

J&M Books

©2025 Alyson Root

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Published by J&M Books

Lytchett House, 13 Freeland Park, Wareham Road, Poole, Dorset, BH16 6FA

Print ISBN: 978-1-917785-43-3

Ebook ISBN: 978-1-917785-44-0

Cover Design design by:

Cath Grace @cathgracedesigns

Line & Copy Edit by:

Linda Slate

Proofread by:

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Contents

A Dance Towards Forever

Diving Into Her

Always Emilie

A Dance Towards Forever

Alyson Root

J&M Books

Contents

Dedication

Introduction

1. Prologue

2. One

3. Two

4. Three

5. Four

6. Five

7. Six

8. Seven

9. Eight

10. Nine

11. Ten

12. Eleven

13. Twelve

14. Thirteen

15. Fourteen

16. Fifteen

17. Sixteen

18. Seventeen

19. Eighteen

20. Nineteen

21. Twenty

22. Twenty-One

23. Twenty-Two

24. Twenty-Three

25. Twenty-Four

26. Twenty-Five

Epilogue

For my wife, without whom the book would never have happened.

A Dance Towards Forever is written in British English.

Prologue

Twelve years earlier

“S amantha!” Charlie shouted. “Please tell me you’re doing what I think you’re doing!”

Sam couldn’t stop the wide smile forming on her face if she tried. “I am indeed, my friend.” She winked, turning her face back to the bare torso laid on the table in front of her.

With one big gulp, Sam swallowed the strawberry-flavoured shot which balanced on the young woman’s body. The room erupted with shouts and screams of encouragement.

“Well, that was delicious,” Sam whispered into the ear of the girl still lying in front of her.

Giving her a quick peck on the cheek, Sam winked again before turning back to Charlie with a shit-eating grin. Oh, and an undeniable buzz from the half dozen strawberry shots coursing through her body.

God, life was good at nineteen!

Moving her body to the music, Sam danced her way over to her best friend, ready to party the night away.

Sam and Charlie met on the first day of Freshers Week. They’d got on so well, that by the end of the week, Charlie offered Sam the spare room in her flat.

For Sam, it was a no-brainer. She could move out of her mum’s house, for one. Secondly, Charlie’s parents—who were ultra-rich—were paying for everything. No rent, no bills, and one hell of a new friend. Sam was living the dream.

“You are like my gay hero,” Charlie gushed at Sam as they settled against the kitchen worktop, pouring copious amounts of an unknown brown liquid into two plastic cups.

“Oh, I want a superhero name.”

“Lady Leztacular!” Charlie cried as she jumped into the air, thrusting her fist skywards like a toddler on a sugar rush. Charlie was clearly feeling the effects of the alcohol she’d consumed.

“Keep that one on the back burner,” Sam laughed, watching her friend attempt to do a superhero pose, but failing.

Charlie was about to respond, but got cut off by a very attractive young woman who stepped into the space between her and Sam.

“Hi,” the woman purred, speaking only to Sam.

“Hi,” Sam replied with a brief grin.

“Want to have a drink with me?” She was looking straight into Sam’s eyes with a stare that conveyed pure lust.

Sam reached around the woman to grab Charlie, hugging her tightly to her side. “That sounds great, but I can’t right now. I’m here with my friend, but thanks for asking.”

“Well, that’s a shame,” the woman said, pouting her lips. Sam had never found pouting attractive.

“Maybe another time?” Sam winked and shot her a killer grin. Charlie could practically see the woman swoon on the spot.

Grabbing Charlie tighter, Sam moved them through the kitchen door and into the garden.

Charlie chuckled. “You are going to have a string of broken-hearted girls pining after you when you leave uni.”

The air was crisp and cold as they stepped outside, a welcome break from the heat of the house. Sam enjoyed the party atmosphere immensely, but there was only so much she could endure, given the number of bodies that were crammed into such a small space.

Sam took in a big lungful of air before slowly letting it back out. A sense of calm washed over her. Charlie had found a garden chair and slung herself into it so her legs were dangling over one arm and her back rested against the other.

“Nice garden,” Charlie continued.

Sam followed Charlie’s gaze. “Yeah, not bad.”

Her ears were ringing from the blaring music. They sat in silence for a few minutes, taking in their surroundings.

“Did I upset you?” Charlie whispered, more than a little tipsy now.

“What? No, of course not… It’s just I don’t want people to think I’m stringing women along. I certainly don’t want any broken hearts when I graduate,” Sam mumbled.

Sam was a confident woman. She never worried about putting herself out there. She loved talking and flirting with women, but she never led them on. She was always upfront and honest about her intentions. The very last thing she wanted was for anyone to get hurt.

Along with her outgoing personality, Sam also had the looks. Standing just over 5’6”, she had shoulder-length sandy-coloured hair, which contrasted wonderfully with her bright blue eyes. Her toned, athletic body was a real selling point too. Oh, and don’t forget the dimples.

“S, I was only kidding. You’re the most respectful person in the world. I know you wouldn’t hurt anyone. Sorry, I love winding you up a bit, that’s all.” Charlie spun herself off the chair with as much dignity as she could muster. It wasn’t very much by the look of her, scrambling off the floor, trying to kneel next to Sam.

“Ten points for the landing on that one, mate,” Sam laughed loudly. “You tit! Get up here.” She scooped Charlie up while still on her knees, which wasn’t particularly easy—Sam wasn’t exactly sober herself.

“Listen, S,” Charlie slurred, “you’ve got the gift with the girls. It’s just how it is. You clearly can’t help the fact they become a puddle of goo when you flash your big blues.”

Sam chuckled. The sight of drunk Charlie was becoming the highlight of her evening.

Sam knew only too well how this night would end, and it would not be with a woman in her bed, no matter how many times she flashed her “big blues.”

Nope, it would be with her slinging Charlie over a shoulder and carrying her back to their flat, probably holding her hair back as she upchucked later.

The great thing about Charlie, no matter how drunk, was she never quit. There would still be plenty of dancing and drinking ahead of them.

“C’mon, lightweight,” Sam grinned, propping Charlie up. “Time to get your groove on.” They headed back inside, Charlie swaying against Sam’s side.

The party was in full swing, and each room of the house was completely packed. They shuffled through the masses into the makeshift dance room, bright lights pulsing courtesy of a disco ball and several strobe machines.

The floor was vibrating from the bass music. Sam watched Charlie perk up immediately. Her bestie was about to let loose. Sam laughed loudly as Charlie threw herself into the fold, hopping and thrashing her hands about, having the time of her life.

Every person in that room was dancing as if it would be the last thing they ever did. It was intoxicating, and Sam loved every second. Song after song after song, they danced. It was fantastic.

What seemed like hours passed and Sam’s feet were on fire. She’d be lucky if she could walk in the morning. She grabbed Charlie, who was trying to perform some sort of robot dance—unsuccessfully—and headed for one of the dingy sofas in the living room.

The crowd had thinned considerably. Around thirty people remained in the dance room, and someone had lowered the music so people could hear each other talk.

Sam and Charlie were still camped out on the beat-up sofa when, twenty minutes later, a friendly face appeared in front of them.

“Sammy and Char, where the fuck have you been hiding?” It was Danny, one of their classmates they’d befriended early on. He was as tall as a lamppost and built like a house. Most people who met him presumed he was on some sort of sports course, but in fact, he was a talented video and photo editor.

“We needed to take ten,” Sam replied loudly, the music suddenly becoming louder.

“Right, well, your ten is up. We’re starting a new game and you have to play.”

Sam enjoyed drinking games, but she wasn’t sure Charlie was in the best shape to take part in the night’s activities.

“Can we give it a miss?” she pleaded.

“Not a chance. Charlie can coz, well, she’s hammered,” Danny chuckled. They both turned in Charlie’s direction, who, true to form, was passed out, dribbling down herself.

Awesome , Sam thought to herself before shifting Charlie into a more comfortable position. Charlie was going to have the mother of all hangovers, and Sam didn’t think adding a crick in the neck would help the situation much.

Seconds after tending to her best friend, Danny hauled Sam’s ass up from the low-set couch. “Put this on,” he shouted, thrusting a blindfold over her head, covering her eyes. She could only see a small sliver of light below the fabric.

“What kind of game are we playing?” Sam laughed, stumbling as someone clumsily guided her to the group on the dance floor.

Danny cleared his throat and commanded the room with his booming voice. “Okay everyone, thanks to Sexy Sammy here, we have the right numbers. There are twelve people, so we will have six people with blindfolds on and six without. People without blindfolds must pick one person to be on their team. Remember, this is a drinking-slash-dancing game, so make sure whoever you pick has got the stomach and the moves.”

After some shuffling movements, Sam was shoved forward, bumping into someone and only recognising them by their voice as they loudly declared, “I’m having Sexy Sam.”

Patrick, the man who had entirely deafened her by shouting right next to her ear, was one of Danny’s best mates and a nice guy; quiet usually, but not the case after a few shots.

“Listen here, sexy Sam.”

“Can you just call me Sam?” she laughed.

“No, I cannot. It’s your new title. You are now, and shall forever be “Sexy Sam” who will win this game, and therefore, the bottle of Jack that is up for grabs,” he said drunkenly. “You are going to slam those three shots like a boss and, after that’s done, dance as if your life depended on it and you’re going to look hot doing it.”

“Why am I blindfolded for that?” Sam immediately questioned. It seemed highly unnecessary.

“It makes it more fun for the people watching,” he cackled.

“Sweet Jesus,” she moaned. “Should I dance alone or with someone?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

“Why not?” she questioned again, louder this time.

“I don’t know. It isn’t my game. I have no fucking clue what the rules are, so just shut up and win.”

“This is the stupidest game I have ever played,” she shouted.

“Are you shitting on my awesome dance-slash-drinking game?” Danny shouted back, laughing. “It took me two whole minutes to come up with it and I think it’s brilliant!”

The others in the room seemed to agree and started chanting, “Dance and drink,” over and over.

“Okay, get your blindfolded dance monkeys in front of their shots. After the countdown, you must down three shots as fast as you can—no spilling—and then head towards the music,” Danny screamed in pure excitement. “One… Two… Three… GO!” The game was on.

Sam had no time to think; she shoved her hands out and grabbed whatever was in front of her. She found the shot glasses easily and sank them quickly. Twisting her body around, she followed the cheers and calls toward the music.

All evening, the music had been an eclectic mix and now was no different. They danced to pop, rock, reggae, and trance. Sam had zero idea who was dancing around her. Bodies collided as blindfolded drunkards navigated the tiny dance floor. Sam couldn’t help but laugh along with everyone. The small group of dancers must have looked ridiculous to anyone watching.

Danny shouted to the crowd as the last beats of Oasis’s “Wonderwall” finished. “Okay, party people, last dance to prove yourselves and to prove the Jack belongs to you! Make it a good one.”

“Nail it, Sammy!” She heard from somewhere behind her. Sam geared herself up for the last song, which she was convinced would be an energetic one for the grand finale. The song started, but it was far from energetic; it was a slow number. Sam listened to the first few bars before she recognised it: “I Will Always Love You” blared out from the speakers.

A warm rush of joy pounded through Sam’s body because the version playing was not Whitney Houston. No, it was the Queen of Country Music herself, Dolly Parton.

Yes! Now, this was Sam’s kind of song, but she wouldn’t win that bottle of Jack by swaying softly by herself. Oh, no—she needed a partner. Reaching out, she grabbed the closest person to her and pulled them in, ready to make a show of it for the crowd.

As they came into each other, Sam’s senses were overloaded. The scent of almonds and cherries, with a hint of vanilla, infiltrated her nose; it was delicious and unlike anything she had smelled before. The body she was holding was soft; a woman for sure.

Without realising it, Sam had shifted herself even closer. Her body’s instincts were taking over. She wanted—no, needed —to be as close to this woman as possible. She could feel soft hair against her cheek.

Trying her best, Sam looked through the small crack at the bottom of her blindfold. She could see the curves of a long, soft neck and just the strap of a top. The woman she held didn’t back out of the embrace but gripped her hands to Sam’s lower back. The move rendered Sam breathless.

The surrounding room fell quiet as they danced. The music played on, but Sam shut it out as she felt the warm breath of her partner gently caress her ear. Energy simmered between them. Sam felt it in her very cells. This was the most sensual thing she had ever experienced.

Sam became conscious her hands were gently rubbing up and down the woman’s back. Feeling her body was a delight to the senses. The stranger was soft and slender. Her curves were a treat to the touch.

The woman must have been experiencing similar feelings because she explored Sam in the same manner, her hands gripping gently on Sam’s hips and then sliding up towards her ribs. They were in a world of their own.

Their breaths became shallow. Their hips pressed firmly together, ebbing and flowing in unison. The woman leant her head into Sam, gently brushing her nose just below Sam’s ear. Sam was on fire.

Sam turned her head, wanting nothing more than to capture the mystery woman’s lips, but before she could register another thought, music flooded her senses, and she was bombarded with shouts and wolf whistles.

The music had changed to a completely different song. Sam felt the woman back away, whilst softly whispering, “Mon Dieu ,” and then she was gone. Sam felt the loss immediately.

It took Sam a beat to get her bearings. She felt her arm being pulled, and she followed Danny’s voice, “Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winner!” He catapulted her arm into the air and whipped off the blindfold. The lights momentarily blinded her, but she quickly focused on the room. Her view was obscured, though, by the crown of partygoers who surrounded her.

“Who was that?” she spluttered to Danny.

“Sorry, kid, no idea. She just ran off, but you two nearly set the fucking house on fire with that dance.”

He had the biggest smile on his face that Sam had ever seen. “I thought you were going to drop down and get freaky in the middle of the dance floor,” he laughed.

Sam smiled weakly as she continued to search the room for her dance partner. That had been one hell of a dance.

With no clue of the mystery woman’s whereabouts, Sam made a beeline for Charlie. She needed to get her friend home, and then she needed to process that experience.

One

Present Day

T he sound of rain beating down on Sam’s loft window tore her from another restless night’s sleep. Lying there with her eyes still closed, she listened to the rhythm of the droplets hitting the windowpane. It didn’t take long before her head filled with thoughts, none of which gave her any inkling to leave her warm and comfortable bed.

As she continued to listen, she desperately tried to empty her mind of any negative emotions and land in a place of calm and tranquillity. Her efforts were rudely interrupted by the bane of her life: that goddamn alarm on her phone—a shitty reminder of the day that lay ahead.

Reaching over to the empty side of her double bed, she fumbled for her phone lying on the pillow. Still refusing to open her eyes, she jabbed at the area until the noise stopped. After a few more minutes of stubbornness, Sam gave into the irritatingly responsible voice that told her she had to get up.

Sam stretched and rubbed her eyes. The room she now called home slowly came into view. It was a small, yet spacious area. The walls were cream with no pictures. The floor was covered with cheap carpet, but it was sufficient.

The furniture was a mismatch of vintage and modern. Her grandmother had passed the dressers down to her before she died.

There was a small chest of drawers that had seen better days. Two of the drawer fronts were loose and wouldn’t shut properly. There was only one item in the room that Sam had picked out herself—the only thing in her room that made her slightly happy—the bed she was currently refusing to leave.

Sam had moved back into her mother’s house twelve months ago after a brutal breakup with Jo, the woman with whom she thought she would spend the rest of her life.

January 15th would forever be known as one of the worst nights of her life. After finishing an extensive project that had meant long hours at work and no sleep, she and her small team had finally completed it, with a couple of days to spare, no less. She remembered feeling the relief she wouldn’t have to look at that damn project ever again.

Sam had joined her colleagues at the pub for a well-deserved drink. It was a ritual: Nobody drank until the project was finished, and then all hell would break loose.

Sam knew it would be an enormous blowout, so she’d called Jo to let her know she would be home late and to expect her to be a mess.

After an hour, Sam had felt the lack of sleep catching up with her. She’d apologised to her colleagues—who gave her as much stick as possible—before heading home. Thankfully, her apartment was a five-minute walk from the pub.

A sharp pain stabbed Sam in the chest as she forced herself to think of anything else but the next part of that memory.

Dragging her body into a sitting position, she leaned against the headboard and picked up her phone to perform her usual morning routine of checking her Facebook account.

Sam scrolled through the posts, skimming stories from her friends of their wild nights out or their child’s first gargling noise, which they swore were actual words, because their six-month-old was a genius. It was a routine that only made her miserable.

Sam had no social life to speak of, and this was a great way for her to be reminded of that every morning. She threw her phone down again, slowly sliding out of bed, scouring the floor for clothes that would be acceptable to wear in public.

The clock read 7:30 a.m., which meant her mum would have already been awake for a couple of hours and would be in her studio painting.

Taking her crumpled pile of clothes, she headed for the bathroom. The hot water from the shower soothed her, relaxing her tired body, giving her a few minutes of pleasure before the day began. Her few moments didn’t last long; there came a loud thudding on the bathroom door.

“Sam, are you in there?” came a gruff voice Sam recognised as Andrew, a recent graduate who was renting her mother’s loft room.

Sam rolled her eyes before answering, “Andy, sod off! I will be ten minutes, max!”

“C’mon, Sam, I need to take a piss.”

Sam reached through the shower curtain and unlocked the door. Andrew barged in with such force Sam thought the door would come off its hinges. “Jesus, Andy, be careful. I’m not forking out any money to repair shit you break.”

“Sorry, mate,” Andrew replied as he stood at the toilet, letting out a sigh of relief.

Sam remembered their first meeting. She had turned up at her mum’s front door in tears, mascara running down her face as she ugly cried in front of a tall, slim, and untidy-looking man, instead of her mother.

Sam recalled Andy’s reaction to her and the state she was in. He looked alarmed at first but then simply called to the other occupant of the house, “Sandy, are you expecting a crying woman at the door today?”

Sam was still looking bewildered when her mum finally came to the door, and the unknown hipster slid away into the living room. Her mum explained she had met Andrew at a still life class—he was the model. Sam had instantly berated her mother for shacking up with someone younger than her daughter, to which her mum had burst out laughing, explaining he was the new lodger.

That was the day after the worst night of her life, and she always recalled with great affection how gentle Andrew had been with her. He’d sat talking to her as if he’d known her for years. They quickly became good friends, and she liked the fact her mum had someone else around the house apart from her.

With a quick goodbye, Andrew left just as fast as he had barged in. Sam stood under the burning water for a few more seconds before concluding she would have to get a move on, herself.

With the coffee pot heating, Sam slumped at the breakfast bar, checking through her bag to make sure she had everything she needed for the day.

Pouring the black liquid into her Wonder Woman mug, she inhaled the steam, the smell instantly making her feel more alert. As she sipped, she felt the caffeine run through her body, jolting her to life.

The soft morning sun was pouring through the window. The rain that had woken her so abruptly had cleared, leaving a bright and clear morning in its wake.

Sam spent a few minutes looking into the back garden through the double French doors, watching the trees sway gently in the early morning breeze, her mum’s wind chimes playing their sweet tunes. She hadn’t noticed her mum emerging from her studio.

“Samantha, my little ray of sunshine,” she gushed, squeezing Sam’s face like a child, “your aura is looking lighter today.”

Sam loved her mum more than anyone else in the world. She had raised Sam alone after her dad had passed away when she was still a toddler. Sandra was the most laid-back person Sam had ever met. She insisted everyone call her Sandy, even Sam, to which Sam, point blank, refused.

Sandy Chambers was a small woman, at only five foot two. She barely reached Sam’s shoulders. Her hair was always tied up in a twist, with either a pencil or an old paintbrush sticking out the side.

“Morning, Mum, how’s the painting going?”

“It is going somewhere, my dear. I’m letting the paintbrush decide every stroke, so I’m not sure what I will have in the end,” she said with a wistful smile.

Sandy was approaching sixty but had the mental age of a twenty-year-old. Sam had never seen her mum in any type of formal dress. She had wardrobes full of “floaty dresses,” as Sam liked to call them. Most of her mother’s clothes were decades old, bought in some small backstreet market in Budapest or Thailand when she’d travelled as a young artist.

She watched her mother float around the kitchen, watering the plants that littered every surface, and putting down cat food for the strays. Nothing calmed Sam like her mum. She loved just watching her; always happy and relaxed. She enjoyed life. It was that simple.

“Do you want a chai tea, button?” Sandy chirped. It wasn’t a nickname Sam relished, especially at thirty-two years of age, but her mum loved the pet name and refused to stop using it no matter how many times Sam begged her.

“No thanks, Mum, I have my coffee,” Sam smiled.

“Coffee isn’t good for you. It won’t help detox your body and mind, honey.” Sam rolled her eyes. They had the same conversation every morning. Sam had never seen her mum drink anything but weird herbal teas with things floating in them that looked like twigs.

“Okay, we know this conversation isn’t going anywhere, and you know I’m never going to drink that stuff,” she said, pointing at her mum’s mug. “Anyway, I’m going to be late. I’ll call you later from work. Have a creative day.” She walked over and kissed her mum, grabbed her keys and coat, and set out to face the day.

As she walked her daily route to work, her mind wandered back to the days that had offered her the promise of a beautiful future. There was a time when it felt like she had everything going for her. She’d done well at school and then at the university where she’d studied art, earning a BA (Hons) in Photography. Sam met Jo in her third year, and they’d been inseparable. They were in love—or so Sam thought.

After over a decade together, Sam was certain they would stay together forever. She’d truly believed they were a perfect match. That was until that dreaded evening when she’d returned to their beautiful two-bedroomed flat to find clothes scattered about on the floor; items she recognised but were not hers, and noises coming from their bedroom. She couldn’t bear to relive those feelings again, yet every time her mind wandered back to that day, she felt the pain all over again.

Her memories were so vivid. She could still hear her footsteps echoing down the hall as she approached the room, her heart racing as she opened the door to their bedroom. She stood there looking at Jo between her boss’s legs…in their bed. Every detail, every moment of those few seconds, was ingrained in her mind.

As Sam gasped for breath, trying desperately to rid herself of that terrible memory, she realised she’d stopped walking and was standing in the middle of the street. A sudden pressure on her shoulder made her turn. It was Charlie, her best friend, looking at her with an odd expression on her face.

Charlie stood an inch smaller than Sam. Her hip-length hair sat haphazardly on her head in a messy bun. Sam had always been a little jealous of Charlie’s hair. It was jet black and perfectly straight, unlike her wavy mop.

As usual, Charlie was dressed in her cherry red Doc Martens, skintight black jeans, and a slim-fit band T-shirt. Sam loved Charlie’s dress sense. Charlie had found her style as a teenager and stuck with it. Sam could see Charlie in her seventies still rocking that look.

“What have I told you about standing in the middle of the street, staring into space? You’re scaring people! C’mon, I need coffee before we start.”

She scooped Sam by the arm and steered her into the nearest coffee shop. “So, tell me what the hell that was all about,” Charlie grunted, hooking her thumb over her shoulder in the direction of the street they had just left.

“I was daydreaming,” Sam quickly replied, knowing full well she wasn’t going to get away with such a lame excuse. Charlie gave her a look that made Sam want to curl up into a ball and disappear.

“Don’t pull that bullshit with me! You were all dark and miserable about that waste of space again, weren’t you? How many times, Sam, do we have to have this conversation? How many more minutes of your life will you spend thinking about that useless, cheating piece of—”

“Leave it, Char. Not now.” Sam wasn’t in the mood for this conversation. Her sharp tone made Charlie hesitate and then finally give up on the conversation. Sam sighed, feeling desperately guilty for snapping at her best friend, who had been the one person, other than her mother and Andrew, who had supported her through the awful times following her breakup with Jo.

After a few minutes of awkward silence, Charlie spoke. “So, we meet the new boss today. I bet he’s a moron.”

Sam was thankful that they could move on to a subject that wasn’t about her. “I don’t know. His credentials are beyond impressive, and he is bringing some major clients with him,” Sam responded with a smile.

Charlie didn’t look convinced. “Hmmm, well, as long as he doesn’t mess with my flow,” Charlie muttered into her coffee.

Twenty minutes had passed since they’d sat down in the coffee shop and began talking about the new boss. Sam was feeling lighter, her brain no longer consumed with Jo. Instead, she was feeling a rush of excitement for the upcoming meeting with John, their new boss and the new owner of Bright Lights Photography .

“Right then, time to get going, woman,” Charlie barked. If anyone else had addressed her as “woman” Sam would have been offended, but she was so used to Charlie, it didn’t faze her at all.

The walk from the coffee shop to work was short. Bright Lights Photography resided in a beautifully remodelled Victorian house. Well, the term “house” undersold it. The space was immense. The previous owner—and founder—had refitted the space into editing suites and offices. They had also purchased the building next door. The rooms in that building were converted into photography studios.

As they rounded the corner into the office car park, they both noticed the large and expensive-looking car parked across the two bays.

“Shit, he’s already here!” Charlie snarled.

They both picked up the pace, which was difficult so early in the morning. The three flights of steep stairs—which on an average day they would have taken at a snail’s pace—tested their fitness as they took them two at a time.

Sam reached the office before Charlie. She was in reasonably good shape, whereas her best friend arrived a minute later, breathing heavily. “You need to stop smoking, woman.”

“Oh, shut up and get inside,” Charlie spluttered, barging past Sam through the tall oak door that led to their office.

The small space was packed with people. Sam and Charlie tried in vain to sneak in without being noticed.

“Ah, ladies, I’m so pleased you could join us.”

They both froze in place and looked over at the tall, good-looking man who was in the centre of the office. He had to be John Spencer, the new boss and owner.

Sam quickly fumbled for some words, “Sorry, Mr. Spencer, we—”

“First thing you ladies missed; I do not want to be addressed as Mr. Spencer! John will do just fine. And who might you be?” he interrupted.

“Sam Chambers, and this is Charlie Baxter.” Sam hoped she sounded more confident than she felt.

“Ah, Sam and Charlie. I’ve heard good things about you two.”

Sam felt heat crawling up her neck. She knew her cheeks would turn a delightful shade of red now that all eyes were on her.

John surged forward with his speech, which Sam was eternally grateful for, as every head now snapped back in his direction. She let her shoulders slump and tried to calm her nerves.

“I know it surprised many of you to hear I would take over Bright Lights. Even though it is a smaller company than I am used to running, I truly believe it is well worth my time and money. I have been tracking work coming out of Bright Lights for the past eighteen months, and I see nothing but potential.”

Sam felt a wave of pride. The Bright Lights team were some of the best people she’d ever worked with.

“Now, all I ask of you is to continue showing the world how talented you all are. I will try to speak to you all individually, but as you know, I have many other companies to oversee, so all I can say is that I will do my best.” With that, John smiled and exited the room.

“You had to go for sodding coffee!” Sam jabbed at Charlie.

“Keep your knickers on. He was okay about it,” Charlie quickly replied. She was right, but Sam hated being late, and especially hated being the centre of attention, which, unfortunately, had just happened. She could still feel her face burning.

“Sam, for God’s sake, relax. We need to get the Bella Magazine project started today, so can you stop worrying about people noticing you and crack on with organising the shoot?” Charlie huffed.

The next hour went by like any other. The office was buzzing with people discussing projects and going in and out, presumably to and from the studios next door. This was something Sam enjoyed. Watching people getting excited about photography gave her a sense of belonging.

“Sam, Charlie, can I grab you both for a second?” Neither of them knew the woman who had spoken. She must be part of John’s team.

They shot a quick glance at each other before dropping everything and following the young woman who had spoken to them. They trailed behind her, almost colliding with each other, when she abruptly stopped outside the executive suite on the top floor.

“John would like a word. Go straight in.”

They hesitated, but with a brief nod from Cory—Sam spotted her name on her desk plate—they opened the door to John’s office and stepped inside.

The room was light and modern. The new owner was putting his own touches on it, as there were dozens of framed photographs strewn across the floor and on the desk.

“Thank you for coming to talk to me. I apologise for the mess, but I like my offices to inspire me, so I need to choose just the right photographs.”

Both women were silent. It was an odd feeling to be in the presence of one of the world’s greatest entrepreneurs, oh, and not forgetting, one of the richest people on the planet.

John Spencer was a self-made man. He became successful by turning small businesses—media-based mainly—into empires. He was named the youngest and wealthiest entrepreneur, twice in three years, and he had only been in his early twenties at the time.

John Spencer was the man every business owner wanted to know, and often wanted to be. He was known for his ruthless honesty and radical reconstructions. Sam could see why he had become so successful, so quickly. He had an air of dominance, power, and confidence.

Sam had done her research. She knew John had been married to his college girlfriend, and she knew he was now a widower. The papers reported on his wife’s illness for months before her passing almost two years ago.

John was smartly dressed in a suit that probably cost more than Sam’s annual salary. His hair was well groomed, and he looked just as fresh as he did all those years ago when he had first made a name for himself.

“Okay, let’s get down to business. I’m going to be travelling for most of the year, which isn’t ideal when you have just bought a company; therefore, I need to make some changes in staff positions quickly.” John could tell he had made both women very nervous.

“Now, don’t panic. The changes are for the best, I assure you!” John pressed on, “Charlie, you have done some fantastic work. I have been watching you closely for a while now. Your reputation precedes you and I think your achievements should be recognised and rewarded.” Charlie looked utterly stunned. “I’m making you the new lead photographer,” he finished.

Charlie stood there for what seemed an eternity, staring at her new boss until she finally snapped out of it and gave a smile of disbelief.

“Excellent, I’ll take that as an acceptance smile,” John laughed. He turned his attention to Sam, looking a little less jovial. “Now, Sam, I have studied your work closely. You are very talented. However, over the past twelve months, your work has taken a turn—and not for the better.”

Sam should have put money on being the one to get shafted. It seemed to be the theme of her life recently. Before she could comment, John continued, “I think it’s important for you to tell me what you need to get you back to where you were a year ago.” He looked directly into Sam’s eyes, which made her feel uneasy, but she held his gaze.

“Uh, right,” she muttered, not sure what she was supposed to say.

“So?” John questioned.

How the hell was she supposed to give him an answer? Could he turn back the last twelve months and stop her from getting her heart ripped out? Because that was the only thing that she could think of.

He was right. She knew her work had suffered, because how could it not have? Sam was a passionate person—well, she had been until her passion had been brutally stripped from her. She had no idea how to get it back. She was barely existing as a semi-functioning person; nowhere near the level she needed to produce art as she’d done before Jo had destroyed everything.

She was taking too long to answer. She looked at Charlie for help, but it was too late. John had lost his patience. “I’m flying you out to Paris. Your flight leaves at five. Hélène will meet you at the airport and fill you in on the job.”

Sam looked frantically at Charlie. Her brain couldn’t process what he had just said. “Paris? How long will I be going for?” she shrieked.

John could see the panic on Sam’s face. “Sam,” he barked, pulling her out of her downward spiral, “I’m sending you because I think you are right for this project. Hélène has all the details. I know you are just the person for the job. Grab your gear and get ready.”

“Sorry, John, of course. I’ll happily go. I’ll begin prepping now.” She turned and left the office with Charlie close behind.

Charlie and Sam sat at their desks, trying to take in the news. Charlie finally broke the silence, “Holy shit, this is huge!”

“Yes, it is,” Sam replied, still shocked.

“Well, damn, I mean lead photographer.” Charlie had delight etched across her face. “And you, flying out to Paris.”

“I know. I mean, shit like this doesn’t happen to me,” Sam muttered.

“Oh, for Christ’s sake, Sam, stop being so down on yourself. It’s grating on me. Get your shit together, and do it with a smile,” Charlie snapped.

Charlie was right to call her out. She was feeling sorry for herself. She was thankful her best friend was blunt enough to pull her out of her own self-pity.

After two short hours, Sam had her gear ready to go. She’d checked her bag a dozen times and was sure she had packed far too much, although she didn’t know what the project was or what equipment would be available to her, so it was better to be safe than sorry. She waited for Cory to bring her the details of her flight and then she would head off to the airport.

Just as she glanced at the clock, she saw Cory coming over to her desk. “Change of plan. Sam, you will take the Eurostar. Here is your ticket and itinerary. Your train leaves at six-fifteen. A car will pick you up at five.” Cory dropped the paperwork on her desk and bustled off.

Sam packed her documents along with her equipment, shooting Charlie a look that conveyed her panic. Charlie, in return, gave her a warm and reassuring smile back.

The rest of the day went by quickly. Sam had taken most of the afternoon to go over her open projects with Charlie, who would most likely complete them. She handed over a few of her smaller jobs to a couple of other photographers she trusted.

With a few minutes to spare before the car arrived, Sam grabbed her things and headed over to Charlie. “Okay, I’m going. Wish me luck.”

Charlie set down her pen, stood up, and pulled Sam into a hug that made her feel instantly better. “You got this,” she whispered into Sam’s ear.

Sam headed for the door with renewed confidence. Maybe, just maybe, her life was going to turn around for the better.

Two

I t was unusually warm for the time of year in Paris. Anna rolled over again, trying to get comfortable and hoping that she would slip into a deep sleep soon. The day ahead would be so busy and she needed to be rested.

Listening to the noise coming from the street and the fan humming in the corner of her room, she finally felt herself drifting into darkness.

Anna recognised the room she was in. It was her childhood room at her parents’ house, although it looked different. The walls were a different colour, and her single bed was now a double. She could hear music playing. It wasn’t a song she instantly recognised, but it was familiar.

There was a bright light shining through the shutters. She moved closer to the window to open them. The handle on the door turned. Anna swung around to see who it was, but she didn’t recognise the woman standing in front of her. She was a little shorter than Anna, with sandy-coloured hair brushing her shoulders. She was dressed in formal attire: navy blue trousers and a jacket, with a white shirt underneath. Anna noticed the shirt was unbuttoned just enough she could see the curved shape of her breasts.

Without words, the woman took off her jacket and threw it onto a chair Anna knew didn’t belong in her room. The woman walked slowly toward her. As Anna looked into her eyes, she felt her hands unbutton her own shirt. Anna couldn’t take her eyes off this woman. She felt a rush of exhilaration surge through her body. She wanted nothing more than to have the stranger touch her.

The scene changed. Anna was no longer in her familiar bedroom, but outside in the soaring heat. Clear blue sky stretched above her, yet the woman Anna had seen in her room was there again, still walking toward her.

She no longer looked like she worked in an office. She was clad in a forest-green bikini. Her skin shone in the light, her half-naked body glimmering under the sun. The stranger stood in front of Anna, looking into her eyes as if searching her very soul.

The stranger was stunning . Anna had never seen a woman who exemplified beauty like this. She felt a warm hand reach under her shirt, feeling every inch of her torso. She felt the hand move up, and she gave a long and sensual moan, her body longing to be devoured by this woman.

Anna took off her shirt. The woman smiled, then leaned in and kissed her neck. Anna’s bra fell to the ground and the same warm hand caressed her breast.

Anna felt an unfamiliar sensation between her legs. She was excited; more excited than she had ever been before.

The stranger had worked her way down her torso, kissing her skin until she reached Anna’s trousers. Anna looked down. The stranger continued to look into her eyes as her hands unfastened her trouser clasp.

Anna looked into the ocean blue sky, knowing any moment her wait would be over. She would feel unforgiving pleasure; a sensation so intense she wouldn’t be able to stay silent.

The stranger’s warm, sensuous tongue intensified the wetness between her thighs as she explored Anna’s folds. Inhaling deeply, and with every nerve in her body singing, she let herself scream in sheer delight.

She jolted as she heard a voice talking to her, “Anna, wake up! Jesus Christ.”

Anna lay there, her head spinning, panting as if she’d just run a marathon. “Sorry, go back to sleep,” she whispered.

“We’ve a long day tomorrow. Keep it down.”

The man lying next to her rolled over, muttering, but she didn’t care. Anna stared at the ceiling, trying to catch her breath and trying to remember the face of the woman who had explored her in a way that no other person ever had. A few minutes passed. She was still panting, and in fear of waking him up again, she slid out of bed and went to the kitchen.

Standing in the darkness, she tried to clear her head. She opened the fridge to get some water. The light illuminated her naked body, beads of sweat glistened on her chest. The cold air escaping the open fridge felt heavenly on her burning skin. “Jesus Christ,” she muttered to herself. Her body felt different, as if it was not her own. She could still feel a tightening between her legs.

“Shake it off. It was a dream.” She tried to convince herself, in the small hope, she could brush it off, but there was no denying the power of what she had just experienced.

She placed her cup quietly in the sink and walked back to her room. She lay down with her back to the man in her bed and closed her eyes, hoping that she would find herself under that blue sky again with her perfect stranger.

Anna sat in her favourite café, watching the crowds of people pass by. Lighting her fifth cigarette of the morning, she watched a homeless man searching the bins across the street. It was hard to see poverty in such a wealthy city.

A few minutes passed as she continued to observe the world around her. A glance at her watch confirmed her coffee companion was late. She knew Frédéric wouldn’t be on time. He never was.

Looking in the direction she knew he would come from, she rolled her eyes when she saw Frédéric running across the busy street waving, his scarf half around his neck, the other half dragging behind him, his coat buttoned up incorrectly, and his shoelaces catching under his feet.

“Bonjour , Anna.”

“You should say ‘Bonsoir’ , Frédéric! Why is it so difficult for you to arrive on time?”

Anna and Frédéric were both born in Paris to English parents who had moved to France a few years before Anna was born. Although she and her brother were fluent in French, they spent most of their time conversing in English, as neither of their parents had done well at picking up the language.

It irritated Anna. Her parents had been living in the country for over thirty years and had made little effort to learn. Now, it was normal for Anna and Frédéric to talk in English whenever they spoke; however, they enjoyed breaking out into French when they were growing up, especially when it was to curse their parents.

Every Wednesday, Anna and Frédéric would meet at the same café to catch up. Once they had both finished university, their lives had started to grow apart. Frédéric began his job as a junior architect, and Anna worked tirelessly for a small publishing company.

With only fourteen months between them, they were close throughout their childhood, and when it became apparent their lives were heading in separate directions, they made a point of meeting every week without fail.

“So,” chirped Frédéric, “I have some news.”

“Go on then. What’s the big news this week?” Anna replied sarcastically.

Anna’s idea of big news, and Frédéric’s, was vastly different. She’d lost count of the number of times Frédéric had a “big announcement”, only to find out it was something as ridiculous as him finding a new fabric softener.

“Don’t say it like that,” Frédéric replied, a little hurt. “Anyway, it’s not what you think!” he added, going red in the face. He had Anna’s full attention now. Frédéric rarely blushed.

“I’ve met someone, and I want you to meet her.” This was the first time Frédéric had asked Anna to meet a woman he was dating. She knew it must be serious. Growing up so tightly together, they had promised each other they would only meet partners if it were love, which as adults seemed a tad childish, but they’d kept their word…sort of.

Frédéric had met James a handful of times, but Anna couldn’t say it was because she was in love with him. It had just been the natural progression of their relationship.

“Wow, this is huge, Freddy.”

“Please don’t call me that.”

“Sorry, I’m just a little shocked.”

“She’s great. I know you will adore her.”

“Do you love her?”

“I do. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he smiled.

“Well, then, I can’t wait to meet her.” She was so happy to see her little brother light up the way he did. “So, tell me all about her,” Anna whispered with excitement.

Just as Frédéric was about to answer, his phone rang. Anna cringed. For some unknown reason, Frédéric insisted on having the loudest ringtone possible, which meant everybody in a five-kilometre radius stopped to stare as it bellowed.

“Sorry, I need to get this,” Frédéric apologised. He stood up and took the call a few feet away from the table. Anna took another sip of her coffee and began putting her belongings that lay on the small table into her bag. Frédéric wouldn’t be staying for coffee. A few minutes passed before Frédéric returned to the table with an apologetic smile.

“It’s okay, I know you have to go.”

“I’m so sorry. There has been a major mistake on a set of blueprints, and if it’s not sorted out this morning, I won’t have a job this afternoon,” Frédéric ranted. Anna kissed her brother and watched him leave. The alarm on her phone chimed. It was Anna’s signal to begin her journey to work.

Lighting another cigarette, she walked down the street to the Métro station. Anna enjoyed the routine. She had always liked to plan and keep to schedules. It was comforting knowing where she would be and at what time she would do things. It helped her to stay calm.

For nine years, Anna had worked at Tower Publishing , first as a junior editor, and now as the editor-in-chief. Most of the day was spent organising and liaising with the other editors. It was a tiring job, but the money was good, and she got to spend her time surrounded by books, which she adored.

Her apartment was crammed with books, most of which she had read several times. Her partner, James, did not enjoy reading. In fact, she wondered if they had any similar interests at all.

After a quick ride on the Métro, she exited the platform and began the climb up to the street. The sun was shining as she exited the station. Unlike most, Anna enjoyed the walk from the station to work. She would sometimes get off the Métro a couple of stops before hers, just to enjoy the fresh air.

Today, however, she was keen to get to work. She had a long list of jobs to get done by the end of the day, which would mean another late night.

As she walked along the cobbled streets, she noticed the people rushing by, most of whom had headphones in, listening to music and avoiding eye contact with anyone else. Anna was no different. As part of her daily commute routine, she would also have music playing, often something soft to ease her into the day.

Her office was set in a beautiful part of the city, with every building showing off its glorious architecture. Frédéric loved to visit Anna at work just to look at the surrounding offices.

Nine-fifteen; she had made it in good time. Stepping through the door, she was greeted by Kim, her personal assistant, who had been working for her for the past two years.

Kim had moved from England three years ago after finishing university. She was a short girl with long platinum-blonde hair. She was gifted with a body that would rival any 1950s’ pin-up model.

Anna had hired her on the spot after an hour-long interview, which was surprising because Kim’s major at university was science—biology, to be precise—and she had no experience as a PA, but something about Kim had made Anna feel good.

Maybe it was her sense of humour, or it could’ve been her unrelenting positive attitude and bubbly energy. Either way, Anna had made the right call hiring her. They were a perfect team.

“Here is your coffee. You have three meetings scheduled for this afternoon, but don’t worry, I’ve kept them short! You have a reservation at two with Daniel, and James has called three times already, but he thinks you are out of the office until midday, so won’t call again until then.”

“Why does he think I’m out of the office until noon? He knows I plan to be here this morning.”

“That would be because I told him you were so you could get some work done.”

“Ah, I knew I hired you for a reason,” Anna chuckled.

Anna sipped at her coffee and took in her surroundings. It was a morning ritual. She started it because of Kim.

Every morning Anna would come to work, throw her things down, and start working immediately, until one day she saw Kim standing by her own desk, looking around serenely. Anna had noticed her do it every morning for a week before she’d asked what she was doing.

“Why are you standing there like that?”

“I’m looking at everything,” Kim replied with a smile.

“Well, yes, I can see that, but why are you doing that?”

“Because I work in a stunning city, in a beautiful office, with a great boss! I take five minutes every morning to remember how lucky I am! Oh, and how grateful I am that everyone speaks English,” she giggled.

Kim reminded Anna of her parents. She was useless at French, but she tried to learn, which was pleasing. From that day on, Anna would stand with Kim for five minutes, taking it all in.

“Right, work time,” Kim interrupted.

“Yes, you’re right.” Anna let out a huff before settling down to work.

The morning progressed as predicted, which Anna liked. She found it unnerving when her plans weren’t followed. A couple of hours had passed, and Anna had consumed a large amount of coffee. Normally, she restricted herself to three cups a day, but she had already gulped four.

Something was niggling at her. She couldn’t help but feel she’d forgotten something important. It was unlike her to forget. She was far too organised for silly mistakes. Her head hurt.

Must be the caffeine.

“Bonjour, Anna .” Marcus had walked in. He was the co-owner of the business. Up until two years ago, Marcus had shared ownership of the company with John Spencer and his wife, who was also Marcus’s best friend, Claire. Sadly, Claire had passed away after a brutal battle with cancer, leaving Marcus alone in the office. John still owned half the company, but was now a silent partner.

Marcus was in his late fifties, slim, and balding. He was always dressed in the same brown cord trousers and jacket with a light blue shirt underneath, a multi-coloured scarf, and matching gloves. It didn’t matter what time of year it was; he always wore the same outfit at the office.

Many of their clients thought he was a little strange—maybe eccentric—but it didn’t matter. Anna admired him, and he had given her a chance to show him what she was made of.

“Bonjour Marcus, ça va? ” (Hello Marcus, how is it going?)

“Très bien, merci. Tu es prête pour ton voyage? ” (It’s going well. Are you ready for your trip?)

“Pardon? ” Anna replied, looking very confused.

“Tu vas à Londres aujourd’hui, non? Pour un mariage il me semble? Tu as changé ton programme? ” (You are travelling to London today, no? For a wedding, I thought? Have you changed your plans?)

Anna sat looking up at Marcus. She now understood the strange feeling she had and now knew the important thing she had forgotten.

“Oh, putain !” she gasped. Within seconds, Kim was standing beside her.

“What’s happened? Anna, are you okay?”

“Kim, my trip to London, it’s today,” Anna replied with panic in her eyes. This never happened to her. She was always so organised. “How did I forget?”

“Trip, what trip?” Kim flicked manically through her diary. Frantically searching for a note or scribble suggesting that Anna would travel that day. “I’ve got nothing down, Anna. Are you sure it’s today? You would have told me.”

Anna lowered her head into her hands. She remembered she was supposed to tell Kim about it three weeks ago, but something had distracted her before she had got round to it. Marcus looked at Kim and then back to Anna, shrugged, tilted his head, then continued on with his day as if nothing had happened.

“Jesus, okay, it’s okay!” Anna was half talking to herself and half to Kim, trying to mentally check off everything she would need to do and everything she would need Kim to do, before leaving.

“Kim, cancel my meetings. Make something up and then call Daniel, send my deepest apologies, and call James and ask him to throw some things into a bag for me. If he gives you any trouble, tell him I have been bogged down and need him to help me out with this one thing.”

Anna’s tone had become severe. Kim burst into action. Thankfully, she’d got a significant amount done on her list, which meant there was little for her to worry about and nothing that couldn’t wait until next week.

“Oh, Christ,” Anna blurted out.

“What? Have you forgotten something else?” Kim was ready with her notepad and pen.

“I just remembered the trip is a week long.” Anna put her head back into her hands, letting out a groan of misery.

The thought of a full week with James’s family made her stomach churn. She had only met them once, and that was by accident. Anna had just started dating James. They’d known each other for a little while, having met through mutual friends. James had moved to Paris from New York. He was born in Cheshire, England but studied in America, where he stayed until the pharmaceutical company he worked for offered him the opportunity to work in Paris.

Back then, Anna’s mother had been grilling about her love life every time she called—or more like—lack of love life. Anna was all right on her own. She didn’t have time for a relationship. She’d been that way since she could remember, having no desire to date.

After yet another interrogation from her mother, Anna had tried to appease the situation by telling her mum she was dating James, which wasn’t entirely true, but he was the first guy she could think of. Knowing her mum would expect frequent updates on their budding relationship, Anna agreed to have a few drinks with him to keep up the charade.

After a couple of months and many drinks, they’d almost automatically become a couple. There was no awkward conversation about where their relationship was going or where they saw themselves in five years’ time. They got on well. The sex wasn’t great, but then again, Anna hadn’t experienced the mind-blowing sex all her friends had, with anyone.

They’d moved in with each other after a year of dating, more for the financial benefits than any romantic notion. A week after they’d started cohabiting—that’s how James explained their situation—his parents took a trip to Paris for their wedding anniversary.

Anna had made it clear she didn’t want to meet them. She was awkward with parents and didn’t need the stress of it. James understood and didn’t force the issue. He’d arranged to meet his parents for lunch, far away from their apartment. He’d explained Anna was very busy and wouldn’t be able to make it.

Perfect plan, right? Wrong! His parents turned up at their apartment two hours earlier than the expected meeting time. Anna couldn’t escape. She had no excuse. His parents stood at the door, looking at her dressed in pyjamas, ready to have a relaxing afternoon reading on the sofa with a bottle of red.

The meeting did not go well. Anna could feel the judgement oozing from every inch of his mother, and nothing but chest stares from his father. Thankfully, that had only been a few hours of misery, but not this time! This time she had to endure a week, because James’s sister was getting married, and he was the best man.

Kim stood looking at Anna with sincere sympathy. “Can I get you anything? Maybe another coffee or a large whisky?” she grinned. There was nothing for it. Anna had no choice but to shut up and deal with the situation.

In what felt like the blink of an eye, the clock above her desk read 1:00 p.m. Anna had to be at Gare du Nord at half past. Kim had done a fantastic job as per usual. She had arranged everything, from getting Anna’s bags packed, to a car that would take her to the station.

Time for one last cigarette.

There wouldn’t be another chance for a few hours as James didn’t like her smoking, so she avoided it when he was around.

Anna left the office and perched herself against a nearby lamppost. The sun shone brightly on her face. She lit the cigarette and took a deep breath. It felt good—relaxing. For a moment, the impending doom she felt was forgotten. She closed her eyes and listened to the city.

The warm breeze licked her skin, and in that instant, she remembered something, or should she say, someone else, who had licked her skin with the same warm, delicious feeling.

With her eyes still closed, she could see a blurred vision of the stranger she had dreamt about. Her heart raced, and she could no longer hear the cars or people walking by, only the sound of her own breath.

“Anna?” Kim shouted from inside. Anna almost fell sideways from her perch. She gathered herself together and stubbed out her cigarette. “Sorry, didn’t mean to make you jump. The car is ready for you,” Kim chirped.

At 1:25, Anna arrived at the station. She saw James waiting for her, and he did not look happy. “Before you say anything,” she began, “yes, I forgot, yes, I am sorry, and no, I do not want a conversation to take place.”

James released an aggravated huff but didn’t pursue it any further.

The check-in and security clearance were quick, and the train left on time. The journey was nothing to write home about. James sat on his phone, scrolling, and Anna looked out of the window for the better part of the train ride.

“At least something’s going right today,” James snapped as the train slowed in its approach to St. Pancras. They were ahead of schedule. It was the first time he had spoken since entering the station in Paris over three hours ago.

They gathered their things and shuffled along the aisle. It was the first time Anna had paid attention to James’s luggage. He had his laptop case with him and his work phone.

“James, you told me not to bring work with me. Why the hell are they in your luggage?”

“I have no choice. We have a big meeting when I get back and I have to be prepared,” he said, blushing, knowing he’d been caught out. Just as they left the train and began walking towards the exit of the station, James’s work phone rang. Anna shot him a look, which clearly communicated he was not to answer it. He rolled his eyes and answered, regardless.

As they rounded the corner, Anna almost tripped over her own feet. The woman she could see walking towards her with all sorts of paperwork and equipment looked exactly like the woman in her dream…the beautiful stranger.

Her breath caught and she was momentarily stunned. Anna diverted her gaze, not wanting to be caught staring. As she looked away, she could have sworn the woman stared back at her. James, however, hadn’t seen her at all. He went barrelling into her, causing her to drop everything she was holding. Without bothering to check if she was okay, James continued as if nothing had happened.

Anna couldn’t quite believe what she was seeing. The woman who was now scrambling around on the floor, trying to pick up her belongings, was stunning, just as Anna had remembered her. But how was that even possible?

Anna stopped, with the intention of going back to help, but she found herself staring at the goddess again, unable to move. James, however, wasn’t messing around. He grabbed Anna by the arm and marched her out of the station. Her perfect stranger was now lost in the crowd.

Three

T he journey to St. Pancras was uneventful, which was pleasing, because Sam couldn’t deal with any more drama. When the car pulled up to the station, she took a deep, calming breath and got out. Excitement filled her from head to toe.

Paying no attention to the people around her, Sam stared down at her tickets, all the time talking to herself in her head, checking off all the things she needed and reassuring herself she had it all with her. She turned the corner and in a split second, noticed a woman looking at her, but before Sam could hold eye contact, she ploughed straight into a man talking on his very expensive-looking business phone. The collision sent Sam’s gear and paperwork flying across the floor. The man in question continued to his destination without looking back.

Arsehole.

Sam scrambled to the ground, scooping everything up. Great, now she would have to go through everything again to make sure she hadn’t lost anything important. Her irritation at the man was palpable. Why couldn’t people be a little nicer? Would it have killed him to stop and help her?

As quick as her ire had risen, it faded as the face of the woman she had caught looking at her flashed across her mind. Phew, those were some gorgeous eyes. Damn it, now wasn’t the time to be fantasising about sexy brunettes. She had a train to catch.

Once she’d collected herself, she proceeded to the security gate. Her ticket indicated she had priority boarding because she was travelling First Class which allowed her to skip the long lines. Oh, how the other half live.

Sam had never travelled in First Class. She’d never even travelled in business class before—economy all the way. Not today, though. Today, Sam was on her way to Paris in style, which made her overly excited and almost childlike.

She tried to hide her excitement—although she probably didn’t do a good job of it—because, after all, she was an adult.

The security had still been a little unnerving. She always felt as if she were doing something wrong, especially when the security officer eyed her up suspiciously. Her bags and equipment had gone through the x-ray with no issues, and the passport control had only taken a few minutes.

Sam had nearly half an hour before the train was due to depart, allowing her another opportunity to recheck all of her things, grumbling as she did. Although, if she had forgotten or lost anything, it would be too late now.

When she was satisfied everything was accounted for, she checked her watch. Her excitement was getting the better of her as the time ticked away.

Ten minutes passed before the announcer’s voice crackled through the loudspeakers. The train was now boarding. Sam approached the train and began counting the carriages to see which one she would be in. As far as she could see, she would only have to walk a short distance, which was a relief. The heavy equipment was starting to hurt her shoulder.

First Class was everything Sam hoped it would be. Large leather chairs lined the carriage. Businessmen and women unloaded their laptops and organised their paperwork. It only took them a few minutes before they were busy working, as though they’d never left the office. Sam found her seat and settled down. She also unloaded her laptop and plugged it in.

Might as well do something productive.

Trying hard to concentrate, she looked through the latest images that had been shot a couple of days ago. Sam enjoyed having time to critique her own work. She wasn’t the type of person to pick apart her work to be self-deprecating. She did it to improve her style and technique. It was imperative to continue learning. Each job she completed presented a learning opportunity in some way or another.

An hour passed, and the initial excitement still bubbled beneath the surface. She had to physically stop herself from grinning like an idiot when the steward approached her about the lunch menu.

After a very satisfying plate of gourmet cheese, red wine, and pudding, Sam surveyed her surroundings again. Everyone in her line of sight was still beavering away, some on their mobile phones, others operating tablets and laptops at the same time. Sam had done enough work for one day. She wanted to enjoy the experience of travelling.

Having not gone very far for a long time, she now welcomed the adventure with open arms. A split second later, her excitement was replaced with dread. She hadn’t told her mother that she was leaving the country.

“Shit, shit, shit,” she muttered to herself as she began dialling the house number from her mobile.

Recapping the events of the day to her mum had helped rid Sam of the nerves that had been plaguing her since she’d accepted the assignment. Sandy had been over the moon that Sam was travelling. It didn’t faze her in the least Sam had forgotten to tell her before departing.

Hearing her mum’s surprise and delight after being told about John and the changes he’d put into place left her feeling much better than when John had implemented the changes earlier in the day. That was Sandy Chambers for you: supportive, calm and full of positivity. By the end of the call, Sam felt giddy. She was going to Paris.

The light was fading as the train surged on. Sam had immersed herself once again in her work. She felt guilty watching everyone else working so hard. After a while, Sam checked her watch.

“Surely we should be in France by now?” she grumbled, craning her neck towards the window, trying to catch any sign indicating they had left England.

“The electricity pylons,” she blurted out. A couple of people looked up from their machines inquisitively. Sam didn’t care. Even though the landscape was very similar to England, the electricity pylons were very different. They looked like characters from the Space Invaders game. Sam had to stop herself from squealing.

As she watched the world rush by, she concentrated on the bright lights of the small villages flashing past. Her bum was getting numb, and all she wanted to do was find the nearest attendant and ask if they were nearly there yet. She chuckled at her own thoughts.

Fifteen minutes later, the announcer’s voice crackled over the intercom. Sam had to strain her ears to understand what was being said. From what she could make out from the tinny voice, they would arrive at Paris Gare du Nord shortly.

Not knowing what to expect, Sam packed her things away, put on her coat, and sat, straining her eyes, trying to look for any signs that they were entering the city.

A few more minutes passed, and Sam felt the train slow. Within a couple of moments, it was at crawling speed. All the other passengers started packing their belongings away. By that time, Sam had already left her seat and was waiting nervously by the door. She was one of the first passengers off the train, although it took her a little while to figure out which direction to go. She presumed Hélène would have a sign or something to identify herself.

Following the other passengers along the platform, she turned into the main hall where a small crowd of people were standing, waiting for their respective friends, family, and clients. To the left of the group stood a very elegant woman holding a sign that read “Samantha Chambers” in big, bold letters. Instinctively, and out of nerves, Sam waved frantically until she realised how absurd she looked.

“Hélène, I presume?” Excitedly, she thrust her hand forward for a traditional handshake. Hélène looked amused.

“Samantha, it’s good to meet you,” Hélène replied smoothly with a gorgeous French accent. She clutched Sam’s hand and then gently pulled her closer, giving Sam a kiss on each cheek. “That’s how we say hello here.”

Hélène’s voice was all silky and French. Queue the swooning. Blimey, that accent did things to Sam.

Sam was happy and relieved Hélène seemed friendly. It made the whole situation a little less daunting, knowing she had someone she felt comfortable around to call on.

Sam followed Hélène through the crowds of people and out of the station. Waiting for them was a private car, ready to take them to their destination, wherever that was.

Apart from the train times, Sam knew a grand total of zero about the project or client she was supposed to be working with.

“So, er, what exactly will I be doing here?” She was trying not to sound how she felt, which was nervous and nauseous.

“Ah, yes, I should probably brief you!” Hélène chuckled, rooting through her very expensive-looking handbag. She pulled out a black folder and handed it to Sam. Her hand brushed against Sam’s fingers and lingered for a few seconds.

The exchange sent a wave of electricity up Sam’s arm. Sam looked from her hand to Hélène, who was smiling sweetly at her. Shaking herself internally, Sam tried to focus as Hélène explained her assignment.

“Rupert Downes, CEO of a leading pharmaceutical company in the US, is very rich, powerful, and loves Paris. He’s commissioned us, or I should say, you, to be his personal photographer,” she continued as Sam flicked through the folder. “He wants you to capture the city—the good, the bad, everything!”

“That’s a very vague and long list! How long has he commissioned me for?”

“As far as I am aware, there isn’t a time limit. Oh, and the best part? There is no budget! You have free rein.” Hélène’s smile grew exponentially when she saw Sam’s eyes light up. It was every photographer’s dream to have an unlimited budget.

“Wow, that’s certainly exciting,” Sam replied. “The only issue I can see is I haven’t packed to be here long-term. To be honest, I grabbed my overnight bag I keep at the office. I have maybe three days’ worth of clothes.”

It had only just occurred to her that at no point had she asked how long she would be away. She hadn’t planned for this. She’d been swept up in the moment and had forgotten to do anything practical.

“No need to worry. As I said, no expense spared!” Hélène began rooting around in her handbag again, pulling out a set of keys and handing them to Sam, who looked thoroughly confused.

Hélène explained the keys were for an apartment. “The apartment is yours for the duration of the job, along with a company credit card, so I suggest you do some shopping.” This was too much to deal with.

Surely there must be a catch?

“I will show you the apartment, then I’ll leave you to get settled in before we begin working tomorrow. I’ll have you collected at 9 a.m. Henry, your driver, will take you to our version of Bright Lights .”

Moments later, the car pulled up to a beautiful building Sam thought looked typically French. In reality, she knew very little about French architecture.

A very polite young man, who held the door for Sam and Hélène, manned the lobby. Henry followed close behind with all of Sam’s luggage and equipment. Thank God. Sam couldn’t imagine having to pick all that lot up again. Her back and shoulders were knackered.

At the end of the lobby, rows of gold-plated letter boxes reflected on the polished marble floor. Everything about the place screamed money. There was a slight rumbling and a ping that made Sam turn to look. The doors to a small elevator slid open, and a young couple stepped out, casually talking to each other. As they approached, Sam and Hélène were greeted with a polite “Bonsoir .”

Sam smiled and went red. Another glaring issue Sam hadn’t thought through was the fact that she couldn’t speak French—not in the slightest. She had always found languages hard.

During her French exam at school, she’d sat and stared at the teacher with a blank face, her mind devoid of anything remotely French. She recalled how the teacher had waited patiently for her to say something—anything—before realising Sam would not be wowing her with any impressive language skills. She was, therefore, dismissed a mere five minutes into the exam. Needless to say, Sam got a big fat “U”.

“Hélène, will I be working with many French-speaking subjects?” Sam enquired, hoping the panic she felt didn’t resonate in her voice.

“That’s entirely up to you. It depends on what you want to do, although I’m sure Rupert will want models used in some shots,” Hélène replied as she headed for the little elevator.

“Right, yes, of course.” Sam felt a knot in her stomach.

Hélène turned to Sam just as the elevator door slid open. She could obviously see Sam had clenched her eyebrows with stress. “Don’t panic. We have many people that can help with any language difficulties. You are cute when you do the eyebrow thing.”

Feeling reassured, and a little confused at Hélène’s behaviour, Sam followed her into the small elevator. There was not a lot of room and Sam felt Hélène’s front pressed against her back.

Jesus, are those her nipples?

They reached the fourth floor, exited, and walked down a softly lit corridor. Only two apartment doors were visible. They reached the door furthest from the lift. Hélène looked expectantly at Sam. It took her a few seconds to twig that she had the keys. With a grin and a little blush, Sam retrieved said keys and unlocked the door.

The apartment was breathtaking. No other word could describe it better. Each room was a well-planned mixture of modern and traditional design. The dark wooden floors shone under the expertly placed spotlights dotted all over the apartment. As they moved through the space, Sam’s jaw dropped. Each room seemed more decadent than the last.

“La pièce de résistance ” was her new bedroom. The room was enormous. A giant bed sat centre-stage with two ornate bedside tables flanking either side. There were floor-to-ceiling windows that were sure to flood the room with tons of natural light in the daytime. A double set of doors led to a walk-in wardrobe almost the size of Sam’s bedroom back in England.

For a split second, Sam caught herself thinking of Jo. It was instinctive to want to call her and tell her everything that was happening. It was like a hot knife stabbing her in the gut. The only thing that she could do was sit down.

“Are you okay?” Hélène questioned, looking concerned.

“Yes, I’m fine, just a little overwhelmed,” Sam lied. “It’s a beautiful place,” she added quietly, her eyes roaming, trying to take it all in. Her thoughts were racing through the events of that horrid night again. She had to get control of her mind.

Forcing herself, she stood up and went over to the window. The Eiffel Tower stood in the distance, with its mesmerising light show in full swing.

“Oh wow,” Sam gasped.

“Welcome to Paris,” Hélène whispered in her ear. Sam shivered, her body responding to Hélène’s closeness, which was closer than someone should be in a strictly professional situation. Sam turned her head slightly. She could smell Hélène’s perfume. Hélène was looking straight into Sam’s eyes. “Have you eaten?” The question took Sam by surprise.

“I had a quick bite on the train but nothing since,” Sam replied, realising she was starving.

“Dinner? I know a few decent places,” Hélène chimed as she moved away from Sam and towards the door.

“Yeah, sounds great.” Did she say that with a bit too much enthusiasm? Truthfully, she was confused. Had she imagined Hélène had been flirting since the station? Was she that desperate for attention she was inventing a beautiful woman coming on to her?

They walked for a few minutes, Sam following Hélène, trying not to look like a complete tourist. Although it was unlikely she’d succeeded, especially when she made little noises of surprise and excitement every ten feet.

They stopped at a small restaurant that doubled as a café in the daytime. Music played in the background. Each table was lit with small candles. Their table was tucked away in the back corner. It seemed intimate, and once again, Sam puzzled over Hélène’s behaviour since they’d met.

She’s definitely flirting.

Sam picked up the menu and pretended to read it even though every word was in French, and she had no clue what she was looking at. Hélène smiled and giggled a little before reaching over and explaining each meal. As the evening progressed, Sam began to relax.

Everything had been delicious. The duck she’d picked was amazing and the wine that accompanied it had been divine. Sam couldn’t remember the last time she’d eaten at a restaurant, let alone tasted such delicacies.

The conversation had been light and interesting. Hélène was really fun to talk to. She put Sam at ease with her warmth and charm.

“I have seen some of your work. It’s very good.” Hélène gave Sam a brief nod of praise.

“Thanks. I wasn’t aware anyone had really seen it.”

“Oh, yes, John likes to get to know the people he will work with, and so do I.”

“And how is it you came to work for John?” Sam enquired, fiddling unconsciously with the napkin on the table.

“John owns the company I work for, just like you,” she said as she sipped her wine. Sam couldn’t help but stare at Hélène as she drank, the candlelight reflecting in her eyes, making them dance.

Hélène was a little shorter than Sam. Her hair was dirty blonde and fell down her back and her eyes were a deep blue and a little mesmerising in the dim light.

She wore a form-fitting skirt that accentuated her legs and a matching blazer that tapered into her waist. She looked very smart and very sexy. The silk shirt underneath shimmered as she moved. Sam had to stop herself from looking at that shirt. It was very distracting.

“You’re staring,” Hélène whispered.

“Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to.” She could feel herself going red.

“It’s okay, I don’t mind,” Hélène whispered softly.

Sam wasn’t sure if it was the wine giving her some courage, and frankly, she didn’t care, because she knew she had to say something.

“Forgive me if I am completely wrong, but is it my imagination or are you flirting with me?” She sounded confident in her delivery. Fake it ‘till you make it, right?

“Yes, I’m flirting,” Hélène replied with ease. “I have been flirting since the station. I wondered if you were picking up on it.”

Sam sat there, looking stunned. “I thought I was imagining it.”

“Are you okay with it?” Hélène poured herself and Sam another glass of wine.

“Of course I’m okay with it. Maybe a little surprised, but definitely okay with it.” Sam smiled widely and then reached for her wine. Before she could wrap her fingers around the stem, Hélène had taken her hand. Sam looked at her, trying to read the situation.

Keep cool.

“I don’t want to seem too forward, well, no more than I already do,” Hélène grinned, “but how about I grab the check, and we go back to the apartment?” A jolt of excitement shot through Sam. She couldn’t believe this was all happening.

“That sounds like a good idea.” She was trying to sound seductive, although she wasn’t certain she’d stuck the landing. Hélène left the table to pay for their meal. Sam could feel her heart pounding. She hadn’t had sex in a very long time, presuming that’s where the night was heading.

Sam’s mind raced. Her internal voice pointed out that she had not prepared her body for this. In other words, she was not properly groomed. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d shaved her legs, let alone anywhere else.

This is going to be a disaster.

Before she could have any more time to spiral, her phone rang. It was Charlie. Sam had forgotten to call her when she arrived.

Looking up to see if she could get Hélène’s attention, Sam began collecting her things. Hélène looked over and saw Sam gesturing to her phone. Grabbing her coat, Sam headed outside.

“I am so sorry, Char.”

“Oh, no, don’t worry, it’s not as if I have been wondering if you’re alive or anything,” Charlie tutted.

“I am here and safe. It’s been crazy. I completely forgot to call you! Oh shit, I forgot to call Mum again as well.”

“I’ve spoken to your mum, and she is far less worried than me. She told me you were on an adventure to soothe your soul,’” Charlie chuckled.

Sam was relieved and amused. She could hear her mum saying those very words in her cheery and wistful voice.

“I really am sorry. Honestly, you won’t believe what is happening.”

“I’m listening.” Charlie’s interest was clearly peaked.

Sam recounted the entire day, starting from the train journey until the exact moment she picked up the phone. Charlie remained silent for a few seconds after Sam had finished telling her story. Suddenly, a burst of laughter rang out from the phone.

“What are you laughing at?” From where she was standing, there was nothing funny about the situation at all. Terrifying, yes; funny, no.

“This is exactly what you need!” Charlie exclaimed. “Someone to clear away the cobwebs.” She continued to laugh.

“Char, that’s disgusting.”

“Oh, come off it, you sound a thousand times better just with a little flirting. Imagine what you will be like with a bit of the other.” Charlie was so enthusiastic Sam couldn’t help but giggle.

Sam looked into the restaurant window. She could see Hélène collecting her things and heading towards the door. “Shit, she’s coming,” Sam barked.

“Blimey, that was fast,” Charlie howled.

“Be serious! What am I doing? This is insane. I’ve only known her for a few hours.”

“Alright, calm down. You clearly want this, but it’s new and you’re scared. Don’t spoil it for yourself. Take life by the ovaries and go for it,” Charlie pleaded.

“I gotta go. I will call you tomorrow.”

“Everything okay?” Hélène stood close to Sam. Her body heat was delicious.

“Completely fine, just my friend. Shall we go?”

“Absolutely,” Hélène smiled.

They walked in silence. Sam was too busy worrying to think of anything to say. They approached the apartment building, which made Sam panic more. Was she supposed to take the lead, considering it was her place they were going to?

Hélène didn’t hesitate for a second. Clearly, she wasn’t feeling nervous. She walked straight in, greeted the doorman, and got into the elevator.

The apartment was warm and welcoming when they entered. Sam was feeling the effects of the wine. She steadied herself against the wall before dropping her coat onto the hook by the door.

“Would you like a drink?” Sam called, noticing Hélène had disappeared from view.

“No, thanks.”

Sam hesitated for a minute. She wasn’t sure what to do next. She followed Hélène’s voice into the living room, where she found her perched on the arm of the sofa waiting, with a look of concern or maybe worry in her eyes as she regarded Sam.

“Are you okay? You seem nervous.”

Sam cleared her throat. “I’m good. It’s just that it has been some time since I—”

“We don’t have to do anything, Sam,” Hélène interjected.

“I want to,” Sam replied quickly. She needed to feel the warmth of another body touching hers.

Without another word, Hélène walked over to Sam, took her by the hand, and led her to the bedroom. Hélène dropped her hand when they stepped through the door. Walking a little further away, she turned around and began undressing. Never shifting her gaze from Sam.

Hélène was graceful in her movements. Her long hair danced against her skin as she removed her shirt. Sam stood watching, taking her in. She was beautiful. She was also standing half-naked in a black lace bra.

Holy fucking shit.

The time for watching was over. Sam needed to touch, be touched. She bridged the gap between them in two long strides. She reached out, allowing her fingers to glide over Hélène’s bare shoulders.

The subtle perfume Sam had noticed earlier engulfed her now. It filled her with excitement. She could feel her body responding to the woman in front of her. Sam’s fingers continued to caress.

Making her way around to Hélène’s back, she leaned in and brushed her lips against the side of her neck. Hélène’s reaction was instant. She turned and reached for Sam’s shirt, ripping it open, causing several buttons to ping on to the floor. The delicacy Hélène had shown a few seconds earlier had been replaced with an urgent hunger.

Following Hélène’s lead, Sam removed her own bra and threw it to the floor. Hélène studied her body, and then within seconds, Sam felt lips wrap around her breast. Hélène’s tongue circled her nipple, and an all too familiar but forgotten sensation travelled to her sex. The urge to be touched was overwhelming. A fire had been lit, and it was spreading rapidly.

“I want you inside me,” Sam gasped. This was not a romantic act. It was primal. Sam didn’t want to wait; she didn’t want to be teased.

Hélène continued to kiss Sam’s chest. Without halting her ministrations, she guided Sam’s body to the bed, pushing her down so she was lying on her back, her legs hanging off the end. They parted briefly only so Sam could remove her trousers and underwear.

Hélène continued to explore with her mouth. It was pure ecstasy. Sam could feel her mind becoming clearer. No painful memories, no fear, just two bodies enjoying each other.

It was as if every one of Sam’s nerves had electricity coursing through them. How could it possibly get any better than this? That question was answered when Sam felt Hélène’s fingers slide inside her. The sensation was overwhelming.

Hélène pumped her fingers hard, causing Sam to moan loudly. Her hips moved in time with Hélène’s hand. Sam knew she wouldn’t be able to last very long. She could feel her body building up.

Gripping the bed covers, Sam felt herself tighten. The orgasm took control of her entire body. She closed her eyes, letting it wash over every inch of her. At the precise moment that it was at its most intense, a face flashed across her mind. But it wasn’t Hélène or Jo. Who was the person invading this most intimate and vulnerable moment?

Who was the woman from the station?

Four

T he drive from the station was longer than Anna thought it would be and she was feeling irritated. James had been deep in thought for quite a while. He looked over at her with a reserved and worried expression etched across his face.

A second passed before he spoke. “What is the status of our relationship?” he blurted at her. Anna blinked rapidly, not sure how to answer. “It’s been a while now. Should we think about moving forward?” James remarked. “Anna, are you listening?”

“I don’t understand why you want to talk about this now.”

“Now is as good a time as any,” he shot back.

“Things are fine how they are, aren’t they?” she snapped.

James looked both angry and a little hurt. Anna felt guilty. He was a kind man and didn’t deserve the way she spoke to him sometimes, but she wasn’t ready for this conversation. In fact, she wasn’t certain if she would ever be ready for it.

“Sorry, I’m not trying to be difficult.” She just wanted to calm the situation and make James feel better. “I don’t think this is the moment, that’s all. I’m nervous about meeting your sister, and let’s be honest, I’m not the flavour of the month with your mum.”

“It’s not like I want to have specifics now. I just want to know that we can talk about our options.”

“Options? James, we aren’t organising a loan. We are talking about our future. I think we need to discuss it later when we can both give the subject our full attention.”

“Fine,” he snapped back, his jaw muscles clenched tight.

They spent the rest of the journey in silence. Anna didn’t enjoy arguing with him, but she preferred this current ceasefire to talking about their feelings. Life was simple with James. He wanted little from her, and vice versa. Well, that was until he started asking about their “options.”

A few miles later, James broke the silence again. “We’ve nearly arrived. I suggest the fact you forgot about the wedding should remain between us.”

Anna said nothing, but nodded her head in acknowledgement of his comment and continued to stare out of the window.

The countryside where James’s parents lived was beautiful. Frost was visible on the trees; the temperature had dropped below freezing now the sun had set. If it hadn’t been for the family visit, Anna thought she would enjoy visiting this part of England very much.

“We’re here,” James mumbled.

As they approached the largest house Anna had ever seen outside of a movie, she experienced crushing nerves. Anna’s upbringing couldn’t have been more different from this. Her parents owned a small cottage in the middle of France. It barely fit all four of them when they were growing up.

James had seen her reaction, and for the first time in a long time, smiled warmly at her. “Don’t panic. You will be fine,” he said calmly before exiting the car and heading to the boot. For a few seconds, Anna felt frozen in place. When James shut the back of the car, Anna was jolted into action.

Climbing out slowly, she reached for James’s hand. She needed some reassurance. James seemed surprised but didn’t pull back. They gripped each other’s hands tightly as they headed for the front door. Ringing the doorbell, which produced an extremely obnoxious chime, they stood and waited.

Moments later, Anna saw a silhouette approach—Jillian. James’s mum greeted them with a pursed mouth and the same judgemental look Anna had received the first time they’d met.

Great, let the fun times begin.

Just as Anna remembered her, Jillian stood around 5’5” wearing an immaculately pressed skirt and blouse, her hair tied neatly into a bun on the back of her head. Anna wondered if she had a wardrobe full of identical outfits.

They greeted each other politely; however, that was the extent of the pleasantries. Anna knew Jillian didn’t like her very much—that was no secret at all.

James was warmly embraced and quickly whisked away. Without hesitation, Anna followed. She was determined not to give Jillian any more excuses to dislike her.

Entering the living room, James’s father, Derek, greeted them. He, unlike his wife, looked quite different from the last time Anna had seen him. Standing at a good six feet, Derek now looked a lot portlier than before. His grey hair was combed to the side and his face had a permanent red glow.

Even though he was dressed in golf attire, Anna knew it was for show. James hadn’t spoken a lot about his family, but he had mentioned his father’s love of watching golf but his hatred of trying to play the game itself. Derek gave Anna an uncomfortably long hug before finally letting her go once his wife had glared at him.

The other person in there was a young-looking woman Anna presumed was Jenny, the bride-to-be. Jenny was a petite girl with mousy brown hair, shaved at the side, which was a surprise. The impression she had of the Dunton family certainly didn’t involve shaved heads.

James and Jenny were similar looking, however, Jenny shared her mother’s thin frame and jawline. Wearing ripped jeans and a baggy T-shirt, Jenny looked out of place against her brother and parents.

“I’ll introduce myself then, shall I?” she quipped at her brother. “Anna, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m so happy you could come with James.”

“My pleasure,” Anna lied with a smile a little too wide to be real.

“C’mon, I’ll show you around the place,” Jenny chirped, before she took Anna by the arm and led her out of the room. “Don’t worry about Mum. She is a snob, especially when it comes to the golden boy!” Jenny scoffed. “I heard about your meeting in Paris.”

Anna gave a sheepish grin as Jenny laughed.

Sparing no detail, Jenny guided Anna around the house, explaining the history and sharing childhood stories. It was surprising just how different she was from James.

They entered the living room where the rest of the Duntons were sitting. “So, what do you think?” Jenny asked.

“It’s a beautiful building,” Anna replied. “My brother would love it here. He is an architect in Paris.”

James gave her a smile as she sat beside him. Jillian continued previous discussion as if she hadn’t noticed Anna speaking.

“Anna was just telling me about her brother. He’s an architect,” Jenny interrupted, her intention to force her mother to be polite and acknowledge Anna.

“That’s a fine career,” Derek replied.

“He is a brilliant young man.”

“Yes, sounds like a respectable job,” Jillian said stiffly. “We were very proud of James when he went into the pharmaceutical business. They highly respect him in the company,” she added, looking at James with pride.

Anna easily discerned James really was the centre of his parents’ attention. She felt bad for Jenny until she looked over at her and had to stifle a laugh. Jenny had seen the adoring look her mother was giving James, but instead of looking hurt, she was making a gagging face, sticking her fingers into her mouth.

They spent the rest of the evening listening to James recall the past few months since he had seen his parents, meaning they had to listen to work-related stories, all of which Anna had heard several times before.

Anna learned about Jenny’s fiancé, Jack. He was the manager of the local animal shelter. That’s where they’d met. Jenny had worked in the shelter since she had left university, where she had studied politics; something she found she’d hated but still finished just to please her parents.

“So, you understand why I’m not as celebrated as my dear brother,” Jenny joked as they sipped on brandy in the parlour.

“I can’t imagine your parents were too pleased,” Anna remarked, making a point of whispering.

“Upset is an understatement. I thought Mum was going to have a heart attack.” Jenny giggled. “We exchanged a few choice words when I explained I would work with dogs and cats for minimum wage.”

“What made you choose animals?”

“I love them more than people. It was always my dream job. In my final year of uni, I realised I couldn’t choose a career based on my parents’ approval,” Jenny said a little louder than expected. Anna could see Jillian turn red, but continue to look as if she were in deep conversation with Derek and James.

“So why Jack?” Anna challenged playfully. She couldn’t help thinking back to the conversation in the car with James. She needed to understand how to know if the person could be “the one”.

“There was never any question. We fit. He is my other half. You will meet him tomorrow, before the rehearsal banquet.”

“I very much look forward to it.” If Jack was anything like Jenny, they’d get on wonderfully.

The evening drew to a close at ten p.m. sharp. Jillian demanded everyone retire to bed, as they had a busy next day ahead of them. No one argued, especially not Anna. She desperately needed to sleep.

James’s room had been kept exactly the same as when he’d lived at home. Certificates and diplomas were displayed proudly on the walls, along with a vast number of trophies and medals.

James threw their luggage on the floor and jumped onto the bed. It was clear to see he was happy to be at home. Anna got the feeling it was more because of the unrelenting attention he received from his parents rather than he missed being back in the UK.

“So, did you enjoy dinner?”

“It was delicious,” Anna replied, sitting on the edge of the bed. She wished she could share a room with Jenny. She would have had more to say.

“Mum was telling me about the rehearsal banquet. You will sit at a different table to me, I’m afraid,” he said as he undressed.

“Who will I be sitting with?” She wasn’t in the least bit surprised she wouldn’t be allowed near the family table.

“Not sure. The extended cousins, I think.”

“Cousins, wow, I’m surprised. I would have thought your mother would have seated me at the ‘friends of friends’ table,” Anna shot at him.

“Don’t be like that!”

Anna couldn’t bear to get into another fight, especially one she knew she wouldn’t win. She undressed and got into bed. A few minutes later, she felt James climb under the covers. They mumbled a halfhearted “night” before rolling away from each other.

Anna woke early. She hadn’t slept well. Although the bed was comfy, she’d struggled to settle down. With a heavy head, she sat up and switched on the lamp, waking James. “Shit, sorry.” She quickly flipped the light off before James could moan at her.

The smell of coffee was extremely pleasurable as she made her way downstairs. Her body craved it; that, and a cigarette. The last time she’d smoked was outside her office. When she entered the kitchen, she was relieved to see Jenny sitting at the table, reading a magazine.

“You look rough,” Jenny mocked.

“Bad night,” Anna yawned. “Is there anywhere I can smoke?”

“Stand at the back door,” Jenny said, without looking up from the magazine.

“Are you confident that’s allowed?” Anna replied sarcastically. She felt as if she could be herself with Jenny, although she still scanned the area to make sure Jillian or Derek weren’t in earshot.

“It’s fine. That’s where Jack stands,” she smiled.

Anna headed for the door. The sun was still low. The light shone over the large grounds, highlighting all the little spider webs covered in morning dew that hung from tree branches and bushes. Anna took a deep breath in, welcoming the cold air.

Standing with her hot coffee in one hand, she lit her cigarette with the other. The satisfaction was instantaneous. After she had inhaled for the third time in quick succession, she felt her head buzz. It didn’t take her long to finish smoking the cigarette. She was sad it had ended, but her toes were becoming numb from the cold, and she needed to get back inside.

Anna sat at the table quietly, trying to wake herself up and knowing she would need to be in top form to put up with another day of Jillian. James joined them in the kitchen, still wearing his pyjamas. He settled for a cup of tea and sat down next to Anna. “Where’s Mum and Dad?”

“They went out. They shouldn’t be too long,” Jenny responded casually as she prepared breakfast for them all.

“When can we expect Jack?” he quizzed.

“Around half eleven. We’re going to the shelter to check on Sid.”

“I take it Sid is an animal and not an employee,” James snorted.

Jenny rolled her eyes at her brother. “Yes, of course, he’s an animal. You know, because I have told you about him, but I suppose, unless the conversation is about you, you’re not interested,” she shot back without hesitation.

James looked wounded but kept his composure as he grabbed a newspaper that lay closed on the table. Jenny looked at Anna with a big smile and a wink. Anna returned the smile after making sure James wouldn’t see.

Midday arrived with the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. Anna was having a pleasant morning with Jenny and James in the kitchen. It had been very relaxed, and the breakfast Jenny had made was delicious. Anna couldn’t remember the last time she had eaten a full English.

Knowing the day was about to go downhill rapidly, Anna steeled herself for the inevitable rudeness Jillian was going to show her. She was pleasantly surprised, however, when a young man entered the kitchen instead. Jenny got to her feet and embraced him, kissing him repeatedly. Anna presumed he must be Jack.

Jack was only a little taller than Jenny. Similar to his bride-to-be, he wore ripped jeans and a T-shirt. His hair was longer than Jenny’s, tied into a scruffy bun on the top of his head. He looked as though he had just crawled out of bed. The image suited him, and he looked stylish in his messiness. Jenny turned to Anna, glowing with adoration.

Witnessing Jenny’s reaction to the man she loved gave Anna mixed feelings. She felt a sense of hope and also sadness. Anna couldn’t think of any time in her relationship with James when she’d ever looked at him the way Jenny was looking at Jack right then. She felt hopeful that one day she would have that look on her face, but would it be with James?

I doubt it!

“Jack, this is Anna, James’s girlfriend and my new bestie.”

Jack marched over and hugged Anna with so much enthusiasm it made Anna giggle. She laughed when he went straight over to James and did the same. “How ya doing, buddy?” He clapped James hard on the back, making him drop the newspaper.

James looked a little disgruntled. “Good, thanks. You?”

“Ah, all good! Marrying this one, so I’m on top of the world,” he said, squeezing Jenny’s bum and winking at her. Jenny returned to her seat as Jack made himself a drink. All ears turned to the kitchen door as they heard voices in the hallway. Jillian and Derek had returned.

Anna watched Jack put his cup down, look at Jenny, and wink again. No sooner had Jillian stepped into the kitchen than Jack shouted excitedly, “Jillian!” and with a huge smile and wide-open arms, he scooped her up into a behemoth hug. Jillian was taken completely by surprise. Her eyes went wide—almost comically wide—with shock. Jenny started laughing, with Anna and James following suit.

After a lengthy hug, Jack released Jillian and gave Derek a hearty handshake. He then returned to his drink as if nothing had happened. Jillian straightened her top, shot a glance at Derek, and then went into the pantry with the bags she was holding. Derek seemed less affronted than his wife. He settled down at the table, picking at the scraps from breakfast. “Are you ready for the rehearsal dinner, Jack?” Derek mumbled through a bit of toast.

“Banquet,” Jillian corrected from inside the pantry.

Jenny rolled her eyes.

“Of course, I have my bagpipes ready. I have been practising day and night,” he said with a very serious look on his face.

Jillian shot out of the pantry. “I hope you’re joking,” she snapped.

“Yes, I am,” Jack said bluntly. “It’s actually a trumpet.”

Jenny started laughing again. Anna was enjoying herself. After thinking all of James’s family would be like his mother, she was thrilled to know they weren’t all bad.

They spent most of the day talking about the rehearsal dinner—sorry—“banquet”. Anna couldn’t see the point of it all. Why they needed to rehearse eating and drinking was beyond her. One thing was for certain: if she ever got married, there would be none of this.

As the afternoon rolled into evening, the wedding conversations wore thin. Even Jenny was getting frustrated with her mum’s constant pestering and questioning. Both women were relieved when Jillian insisted they leave to get ready for the evening’s event.

Anna searched through her clothes, not knowing what had been packed for her. After a few minutes of rummaging through her suitcase, she was almost certain James had left it to Kim to pack her belongings because she had some very well-thought-out outfits. She knew James didn’t have the fashion sense to have picked them out so carefully.

Eventually, after several minutes of going back and forth between two dresses, she picked her favourite black backless. The dress made her feel good. It hugged her in all the right places and accentuated her breasts. She always felt better about her body when wearing it.

Half an hour later, she was ready. Looking at herself in the mirror, she saw James enter the room. “Wow, you look great,” he exclaimed.

“Don’t seem so surprised,” Anna replied, feeling a little embarrassed.

“I meant nothing by it. I just think you look good,” James said, a little stung as he went to open his own luggage. Anna felt bad again. She wondered why she couldn’t accept a compliment from him. The atmosphere had become tense. Not knowing how to make it better, Anna left James to get dressed alone.

Finally, everyone was ready to go. James, Derek, and Jack had enjoyed a small glass of whisky before Jillian practically threw them out of the house and into the waiting cars.

The country hall where the “banquet” was taking place was a short car journey away. They pulled into the large gravel carpark. The valet service was under a large archway lit by impressive, ornate wall lamps. Small lanterns lit the pathways that led around the building and into the lush grounds. It was beautiful.

The inside was just as exquisite. A dozen tables were decorated with white satin cloth, sparkling crystal glasses, and gold cutlery. Candles positioned on each table gave the room a romantic glow. It didn’t take long for Jillian to jump into action, ordering everyone to their seats as other guests began to arrive.

Anna was not the least bit surprised to see she was sitting far from the head table. She continued to look around the room, admiring the architecture and the decoration. The other members of her table seemed pleasant. They reintroduced themselves to each other with hearty handshakes and short stories of childhood mishaps they’d shared.

Anna sat quietly, waiting for her chance to introduce herself. A short, stout man was the first to talk to her. He introduced himself as Timothy Smith, a cousin from “up north”. Anna spent a few minutes explaining her connection to the family.

“Blimey, I haven’t seen little James for a long time,” Timothy declared. “Paris, eh? He has done well for himself, and with you, too. Very good.” Anna smiled politely. Timothy was a character, and another member of the family that also seemed the opposite of James’s parents.

With the table guests chatting away, Anna was quite content observing and listening as they made their way through the three-course meal. The lamb was heavenly, and even though it was hard to admit, Anna knew Jillian had good taste in food because the menu she’d designed was sublime.

Anna was happy at her table of castaway family members. She had a very pleasant conversation with Cousin Rebecca who had spent some time travelling. Rebecca had visited Paris three times in two years. She seemed particularly taken with it. “It must be amazing to live there,” she gushed.

“I’m very fortunate,” Anna replied. “When will you visit again?” She would happily meet up with Rebecca the next time she was in town.

“Maybe next year. I have my heart set on Indonesia next.”

Before Anna could ask any more questions, Jillian stood up, tapping her glass, getting everyone’s attention. The speeches were about to begin. Anna’s mind wandered. She scouted the room and saw James deep in conversation with a very attractive blonde woman. They obviously knew each other well. James seemed very relaxed. Anna noticed they touched each other on the arm or the shoulder when they spoke.

“That’s Amy,” Rebecca whispered. “I think they dated at one point.”

Anna didn’t know how to respond. Should she feel jealous? She knew she didn’t. She was happy to see James enjoying himself, even if it was with someone else.

Finally, after an achingly long time, the speeches ended, and after several minutes of applause, Jenny spoke, “Thank you all for coming. We can’t wait to see you again for the actual event.” Her happiness was paramount as she smiled down at Jack. “Now that the formalities are over with, we would like to ask you to move to the next room for the disco.” Jenny almost squealed in delight. Jillian didn’t look half as impressed.

For a few minutes, there was an eruption of noise from chairs scraping along the floor as the guests made their way to the room located just behind Anna’s table. Through the double doors, Anna could see lights shining as the music started up.

Everyone seemed in good spirits. Most of the guests headed for the bar first. Anna stayed in her seat, waiting for James. She looked around at the emptying room, but he was nowhere to be seen.

Realising he must have already gone through to the party, she promptly left her chair and headed for the disco. James was already at the bar, and he wasn’t alone. Amy stood close, chatting away with him.

Anna walked over and propped herself next to him. “There you are.”

“Anna!” he replied, almost surprised to see her standing there. “I thought you had already come through,” he lied.

Anna looked from James to Amy and back to James. James seemed to struggle with what to say, so she put out her hand and introduced herself, “Hi, I’m Anna.”

“Right, yeah, sorry, this is Amy,” James spluttered.

“It’s a pleasure, Amy,” Anna smiled.

“Nice to meet you too,” Amy replied with a sweet smile. James stuttered his way through an explanation of how he knew Amy. Anna had the impression he thought she would be angry with him, as though she had caught him doing something wrong.

“I hope James has bought you a drink?”

“Oh, yes, thanks, he just ordered.”

“Did you want one?” It seemed he had forgotten to order one for his girlfriend.

“No, I had enough wine at dinner, thank you. I’m going to look for Jenny to give my congratulations one more time,” Anna replied, leaving James looking a little ashamed of himself.

For the rest of the evening, Anna wandered around, looking at everyone enjoying themselves. She especially enjoyed watching Cousin Timothy demonstrate his dancing capabilities—or lack thereof.

Every so often, Anna would glimpse James and Amy talking. She could see how happy he was with her. As far as Anna could recall, he had never mentioned Amy, but as she watched them, it was clear they had history. They’d definitely dated, and Anna surmised it hadn’t been casual either. That much was obvious as she watched them from afar.

When the last song ended, many of the guests had already left. Anna was bone tired. It had been an exhausting few days. James had joined her in the carpark a few minutes later. Amy had left shortly before, and Anna noticed their hug had lasted a little longer than most friendly goodbyes.

The night had been a success. Even Jillian seemed a little more relaxed. The car journey back was quiet as tiredness had taken hold of everyone. After a brief goodnight, everyone retired to their rooms. Anna threw her dress to the floor, pulled on her pyjamas and climbed into bed. It felt so good to be lying down.

James slipped under the duvet, but instead of turning in the opposite direction as usual, Anna felt him pull closer to her. Leaning in, he kissed her neck. His hand reached under her top and cupped her breast. He pressed himself against her. She could feel he was hard.

Taking his hand away from her breast, he pulled Anna’s pyjama trousers down. Anna rolled over onto her back. James shifted slightly to position himself on top as he guided himself into her. He took his time building the rhythm.

James looked straight into Anna’s eyes, but she felt as if he was looking straight through her. His eyes were vacant. He was disconnected. She could see his mind was somewhere else. Anna could hear his breathing getting heavier, a slight moan in each breath. Screwing his eyes shut, he thrust harder.

Anna visualised her dream from two nights ago. She could see her stranger again. Closing her eyes, she focused on that face looking at her so intensely. She felt a tightening. James felt it too. He moaned harder, grabbing her backside as he thrust deeper inside. Anna was lost in her own head. It wasn’t James fucking her; it was the woman from the train station.

James’s body tensed. He was ready to come. Anna gripped the sheets as her own body prepared for the orgasm stirring low inside her body. In unison, they let out a final groan of pleasure. James waited a few seconds to catch his breath before he pulled himself away and rolled over onto his back.

Anna lay there breathing heavily, staring at the ceiling. James left the bed, entered the ensuite, and shut the door. Hearing the shower turn on, Anna replaced her pyjama trousers, rolled over and turned out the light. Before she could stop herself, she sobbed, tears streaking down her face.

Five

T he noise from the street woke Sam early. Her head felt fuzzy. She couldn’t remember how much wine she had drunk in the restaurant, but she was sure it was too much.

It took her a few minutes to orientate herself to her new surroundings. Putting her feet on the warm floor, she yawned and stretched her body.

The floorboards gave a little creak as she tiptoed down the hallway to her enormous kitchen. After opening nearly every cupboard door, she finally found a glass. The only thing she could think of was how dry her throat had become. The water soothed her, but it hadn’t quenched her thirst. Another glass did the trick.

When the memories from the night before came flooding back, she suddenly felt very awake. Sam crept back down the hall and poked her head around the door, looking at her new bed and the person occupying it.

Now that the alcohol had worn off, Sam was feeling less confident. Her brain went into overdrive trying to process what had happened. She didn’t want to be caught staring, so tiptoed back to the bed and slid under the duvet, feigning sleep, hoping when Hélène woke up she would take control of the situation and Sam could follow her lead.

Two hours passed as Sam lay there trying to think of every potential outcome she may face once Hélène had risen from what seemed to be a deep slumber. As she checked the time on the clock above the bed, she felt Hélène stir. Sam tried to stay as still as possible.

Hélène sat upright, stretched, and rubbed her temples. After a minute, Hélène copied Sam’s earlier movements, shuffling into the kitchen to pour herself a drink. Listening intently, Sam heard the tap shut off and the unmistakable creaking of the floorboard.

“Morning,” Hélène yawned.

“Morning,” Sam imitated, feeling her face redden.

“I think I’m a little hungover,” Hélène remarked as she lay back down, clutching her head.

“Me too. My head is pounding a little.” Sam tried to sound as normal as possible, even though her insides were squirming. They both lay silent for a few minutes before Hélène rolled over and draped her arm around Sam.

A sudden loud ringing noise gave both of them a fright.

Who the hell is ringing the sodding bell?

Hélène reached over to her purse and retrieved her phone. “That will be Henry, your driver. He will be here to take you to the office.”

“Shit, what do we say?” Sam panicked.

“Why would we say anything?” Hélène replied, looking a little confused.

“Of course, sorry, we need to keep it between us.” They had just had a one-night stand. Of course, they wouldn’t tell anyone. They had to work together.

“No, I didn’t say that,” Hélène smiled. “I simply meant we haven’t got to explain ourselves to anyone. We are adults,” she added before kissing Sam on the cheek.

“Oh, right, yeah,” Sam blushed. She sat for a few minutes watching Hélène gather herself before heading out of the bedroom towards the apartment door.

“Bonjour , Henry.”

“Bonjour, Madame ,” a low voice replied.

Sam tuned out the conversation between Henry and Hélène after the initial greeting. She moved over to the window and looked outside. Staring out at the city, Sam didn’t notice when Hélène returned. It was only when she felt lips on her neck that she pulled her gaze away from the wonders that lay beyond her window.

“I think you need to get ready,” Hélène whispered.

Sam’s body ignited again as she felt Hélène’s breath in her ear. “Of course, time to work,” Sam smiled, looking into Hélène’s eyes, still unable to fully grasp how she’d ended up in her current situation.

Thirty minutes later, they were both dressed and ready to go. Henry had waited patiently by the car. Sam could smell fresh cigarettes as he brushed past her to open the door.

Sam continued to act like a tourist, staring out of the tinted car window whilst Hélène began working from her phone, answering emails, now and then cursing in French at something on her screen.

The car pulled onto a small, cobbled road. The buildings on either side towered over them. Each had a dozen arched windows and exquisitely sculptured facades. “Which one is the office?” Sam inquired.

“Both.”

“What? Both buildings?”

“Yes, both buildings,” Hélène said with a smile, seeing Sam’s reaction. “That one,” pointing to the building on the right, “is where we have our studios and this one,” diverting her gaze to the building to the left, “is for our office and editing suites,” she finished.

“Impressive.”

The inside was as spectacular as the exterior. The décor was similar to Sam’s new apartment: classically elegant, with a modern twist. Two receptionists busily answered the phones as they walked past. Hélène gave a little wave, which was returned by both women simultaneously.

“Clara and Bette,” Hélène remarked without looking back. Sam gave them a little smile.

Hélène gave Sam a brief tour of their workplace before ushering her into a room Sam surmised was Hélène’s office. “Sit down.” Hélène hung her coat on the back of her door before rounding her desk to take a seat. “So, how are you finding it so far?”

“So far, so good,” Sam grinned. She was in her element.

“Sam, I think there is something I should tell you. I should have said it last night before, well, before we went to bed.”

Sam’s heart felt as if it were in her throat. She stared at Hélène, hoping she looked calm. “You’re married.”

“No, it’s nothing like that,” Hélène laughed. “I’m technically your boss while you are working here.”

“Oh!”

“It’s not an issue for me. I just wanted to know how you feel about it?”

“I’m okay with it. We’re professionals, and I don’t think it would have changed anything if you had told me last night,” Sam admitted truthfully.

“I’m happy to hear that.” Hélène smiled, and for the first time, Sam saw vulnerability. “In the office, we are professionals. Work is work,” she added.

“Not a problem.” They looked at each other silently for a few seconds.

“Okay, let’s get down to it then. You have the equipment. What else will you need?”

“A guide. I want to capture the entire city, not just the usual places tourists see, so I need someone with intimate knowledge of Paris.”

“You need Sébastien. He knows Paris like the back of his hand.” Hélène reached for her office phone that lay under a pile of paperwork. “Seb, can you spare a few minutes?” Moments later, the door opened. A tall, thin, and kind-looking man stood in the doorway; his brown curly hair draped in front of his round glasses.

“Salut ,” he said happily, strolling over to Hélène and kissing her on each cheek.

“Seb, this is Sam,” Hélène gestured.

“Very pleased to meet you,” he said, holding Sam’s hand to his lips.

“Pleased to meet you too.” She had never had someone kiss her hand before.

“Now, can you spare some time, Seb? Sam would like to begin her project by exploring the city. We both know that you are the man for the job.”

“Of course. I cleared my calendar yesterday. I can read you like a book, Hélène,” he said, winking at Sam. “Everyone in the office is excited to meet you, Sam. We are all intrigued to meet the photographer that landed the Downes project.”

“I didn’t exactly land it. It came as a complete surprise, if I’m honest.”

Sébastien smiled sweetly. “Of course you landed it. Nobody gets anything for free in this business—you know that!” he exclaimed.

“Very true.” Hélène looked pointedly at Sam.

Usually, or more like “post-Jo”, Sam would have felt uneasy receiving a compliment. She found it difficult to believe what was said to be the truth, especially when it came to her work or her abilities as a photographer. But not today. Since arriving in Paris, she felt lighter…more positive. Bright Lights Photography seemed a lifetime away, and so did the memories.

Quickly putting any thought of the past to the back of her mind, Sam sat straighter and focused on the job at hand. “When can we get started, Sébastien?”

“Right now. Let me grab my coat and we can get going. I saw Henry put your equipment next to your desk,” Sébastien said, walking towards the door, looking expectantly at Sam to follow. Sam stood up, ready to leave.

“I just need Sam for a couple more minutes.” Hélène smiled at Sébastien as he left the room, nodding politely in acknowledgement of his dismissal.

“Here is your work phone. I have saved the essential numbers for you.” She handed Sam the mobile in her hand. “Sébastien is great. He will look after you.”

Getting up from behind the desk, she walked over to Sam. “If you need me, just call.” She leaned a little closer. “Before you go, I realised I forgot to say…I really enjoyed last night. I hope it wasn’t a one-off.” She pressed her lips softly on Sam’s.

Without hesitation, Sam rose to her feet. She pulled Hélène close, holding her by the waist as she returned the kiss with force.

For a moment, Sam had the urge to reach down and tug up Hélène’s skirt, which had been teasing her all morning. She wanted nothing more than to repeat last night’s events, but a voice in her head reminded her she was at work, meaning she could not rip Hélène’s clothes off. Hélène looked surprised when Sam stepped away.

“What’s wrong?” she gasped.

“We’re at work,” Sam replied, catching her breath.

“Right, of course.” Hélène cleared her throat and straightened her clothes.

“You know I want nothing more than to touch you.” She didn’t want Hélène to feel rejected, but she knew she couldn’t afford to mess this up by being unprofessional for her sake and Hélène’s.

“I know. You are right. We need to be sensible.” She walked back to her seat, taking her place behind her desk.

“Can I see you later?”

“I think I can fit you in.” Hélène smiled before turning to the paperwork in front of her.

Smiling to herself, Sam left the office with a swagger in her step. She looked for Sébastien, who was waiting by the door, holding Sam’s camera bag and tripod.

“Ready to go?”

“Absolutely.”

They left the office and walked along the cobbled street. There was no sign of Henry or the car. Clearly, they would see the sights by walking or public transport.

“If you want to feel Paris, no more cars!” Sébastien exclaimed as though he had read Sam’s thoughts. “If you must use a vehicle, it is the Métro or the bus from now on,” he added, crossing the street and turning the corner.

Sam was more than happy to stretch her legs. She remembered her first project for Bright Lights , which had also involved walking around a city, but the city she’d photographed then, was nothing compared to Paris.

Restaurants and cafés, filled with people talking intensely with each other, sipping on coffee, and smoking cigarettes, lined each street. It was everything Sam had hoped it would be.

They weren’t heading in any specific direction. Sébastien was giving her the uncut tour, taking her to places that saw few tourists but held breathtaking sights.

It didn’t take long for Sam to take numerous photographs. Buildings, streets, graffiti, the river—everything became her subject, and she revelled in it. No feeling on earth compared to this. It was the feeling of complete freedom, she thought, as she focused on an old woman drinking an espresso, with her dog sitting on the chair next to her, basking in the sun.

Hours passed as they walked or travelled on the bus to different locations. Sam wasn’t sure how many pictures she had taken, but she knew it was going to take her a long time to edit them all. As the sun set, they headed back to the office.

Sébastien was a great guy and a fantastic guide. Sam felt she had got to know him rather well over the course of the day. She’d listened to him talk about the city for hours and heard stories of his time in Paris. He was fascinating. They had spoken about her job at Bright Lights , Charlie, his wife, and their unborn baby, who was only a few weeks away from making an appearance. It really had been the perfect first day.

“Hélène is still here,” Sébastien remarked as they dumped their gear on the closest desk. All the walking had taken its toll on them both. Sam looked toward Hélène’s office and saw a dim light shining through the partly open door.

“Thanks for today, Sébastien. I have had a great time, and I know I’ve got some great material to work with.”

“My pleasure, and please call me Seb.” He smiled, patting her on the shoulder. “I need to go. Anita will expect me home any second.”

With a wave and a smile, Seb left, leaving Sam alone. The only thing on Sam’s mind now was Hélène and continuing where they’d left off earlier in the day.

As Sam approached the door, she realised Hélène wasn’t alone. Another voice, a familiar voice, came from the office. Sam knocked gently on the door.

Hélène opened it with a beaming smile. “Good, you’re back.” She reached for Sam’s hand. “I have a surprise for you. There is someone you know who works here. I didn’t tell you before because I didn’t want to spoil it. She said you worked together in the past,” Hélène finished, before pulling Sam into the room.

Confused, Sam looked towards the person in the seat she had been sitting in a few hours earlier. The woman stood and turned to look at Sam. It was her: it was The Traitorous Bitch, or Lauren, as everyone else that didn’t despise her knew her as. Sam’s world felt like it was crashing down around her. She couldn’t move. She could only look at the woman who had ripped her life apart.

Sam slowly turned to Hélène, who had clearly seen Sam’s face drain of colour. “This is cruel.” Sam was desperately trying to stay in control of herself. She could feel tears welling up, but she was determined not to break down in front of them.

“What do you mean?” Hélène replied, looking genuinely confused and concerned.

“Why on earth would I want to see her?” Sam spat at Hélène, anger saturating every word.

“Sam, please,” Lauren spoke, walking a little closer.

Immediately reacting to Lauren’s advance, Sam took a step back, her heart racing as she tore her hand from Hélène’s grasp.

“What is going on?” Hélène barked at Lauren.

Before Lauren could answer, Sam ripped open the door and ran out. She couldn’t hold the tears back any longer. She needed to be as far away from that room as possible.

The cold air hit her lungs as she crashed out of the main doors. She couldn’t catch her breath. She felt hands grasp her arms gently. Pulling away, she fell to the ground. She was going to pass out.

“Madame Chambers,” a familiar voice said. Sam looked up. Through tears, she could see Henry, her car driver, bent down beside her.

“I…need…to…go,” Sam sobbed.

Without another word, Henry scooped Sam from the ground and gently helped her into the back of the car. Slowly, Sam calmed down. She took deep breaths, thinking of Charlie and what she would say to her if she were there.

By the time they had reached the apartment building, Sam was back in control. She wiped her tears and thanked Henry for his help. Sam could see he wanted to enquire further, but he resisted and bid her a good night with concern stamped across his gentle face.

Sam headed for her apartment building. She had to use every ounce of strength within her to hold herself together and smile when she saw the doorman. Thankfully, there was no one else in the lobby or elevator. As the door to her apartment closed softly behind her, she clutched her stomach, trying with all her might not to vomit.

The phone Hélène had given her buzzed in her coat pocket. It stopped for a few seconds and began again. Throwing her coat to the floor, Sam entered the kitchen. She needed water. She could feel herself shaking. As she concentrated on drinking, her hand became steadier, her abdomen unclenched, and she was able to stand a little straighter whilst leaning against the kitchen counter.

The doorbell startled her. She closed her eyes, willing the person on the other side of the door to go away. Repeatedly, it rang. “Sam, let me in!” Hélène shouted through the door. “Please, let me explain,” she pleaded.

“Please leave,” Sam called, her voice trembling.

“I’m not leaving until you listen to me,” Hélène replied forcefully.

“Please, Hélène, not now,” Sam replied weakly.

“I didn’t want to do this, but clearly you leave me no choice,” Hélène shouted. The sound of the lock being opened made Sam move quickly to the hallway. Hélène stood in the door, looking at Sam. A set of keys dangled from her finger. They stood for a few seconds looking at each other, this time though it was not with passion or lust but with panic, worry and pleading.

“What happened between you?” Hélène was rooted to the spot. She could see the anguish on Sam’s face.

“What, she didn’t tell you?” Sam snapped.

“No, she didn’t! She told me you worked together—that’s it,” Hélène pressed. “I thought it would be a comfort to see someone you knew,” she continued, wanting to get everything out before Sam barked at her again.

“Comfort?” Sam screamed. “That woman ruined my life.”

“Tell me,” Hélène said gently. “Please,” she added as she walked over to Sam, pulling her into her arms.

“I’m not sure if I can,” Sam cried, her body going limp against Hélène’s.

“Please,” Hélène repeated.

Sam pulled herself away from Hélène’s embrace. She walked through to the lounge and sank into the sofa.

Hélène appeared a few minutes later, carrying an open bottle of wine and two glasses. “I think you need this.”

Sam drained her glass and poured herself another. She could see Hélène watching her patiently. “Did she ever mention someone named Jo?” Sam was unable to look Hélène in the face.

“Yeah, Jo broke her heart.”

Sam laughed. She couldn’t stop herself. “Lauren had an affair with my girlfriend of ten years—Jo!” Sam choked, unable to believe what she had just heard.

“Oh,” Hélène replied quietly, “I had no idea.” She placed her hand over Sam’s.

“Lauren was my boss at Bright Lights . Jo was a freelance editor and would work for the company now and then.”

“When did you find out about the affair?” Hélène pressed lightly.

“My team had landed a big client. We had been working on the project for months. I came home early from celebrating its completion and I found them in our bed.”

There was no use trying to hold back the memories anymore. They flooded into her mind and her body felt numb.

“They humiliated me. Everyone in the company knew. After I found out, they paraded themselves in front of me. They were so cruel.”

“I’m so sorry.” Hélène held Sam close to her chest.

“How did you meet her?” A sinking feeling had replaced the hurt she had felt. She could sense something else was wrong.

“During a project in the south of France six years ago, before she secured a permanent position at Bright Lights ,” Hélène replied vaguely.

“And she began working for you when?” Sam pressed, the bad feeling growing ever more intense as she looked at Hélène, who had now turned pale and could no longer look Sam in the eyes.

“She doesn’t work for me, Sam. She is my boss,” Hélène replied, her fingers fiddling with her top.

Sam felt her body slump, all her energy was gone, all her fight. “So that means she’s my boss again?”

“There is more.” Hélène shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

“How could there possibly be more?”

“We had a relationship for six months.”

Sam took a second to process what Hélène had said. Suddenly, and without warning or understanding of her actions, she laughed uncontrollably. Of course this was how it was going to go. Her life had been one shitshow after the next for the past year. Why did she think travelling to Paris would change a damn thing?

After a few minutes, she was able to gain some control of herself. She took a few deep breaths before letting her head sag. “Well, it was good, while it lasted.”

Six

T he morning after the banquet was tense. Anna and James had exchanged only a handful of words. It was clear something had changed between them. Anna was thankful to Jenny for keeping her busy with wedding preparations. Every time Anna was alone, she thought of James, their relationship, and how lonely she felt.

“Is everything alright?” Jenny looked at Anna apprehensively.

“Oh, yes,” Anna lied.

“You’re a terrible liar, Anna,” Jenny replied. “I don’t know what’s going on between you and James, but I think you should talk to someone. You look so sad,” she added, gently pressing Anna on her shoulder.

Jenny was right. Anna felt as if she would explode if she had to keep these feelings inside any longer. Before she could stop herself, all the things she had been desperate to say for so long came spilling out. Jenny stood there, looking a little shocked by the sudden outburst, but she remained her usual smiling self, taking in every word that poured out of Anna.

When all her thoughts and feelings had finished tumbling out, Anna deflated and became silent. She wasn’t sure if she had made any sense. She’d spoken with such speed that Jenny might not have understood at all.

As soon as she’d gathered herself together, Anna looked at Jenny and let out a deep breath. She felt better, but that didn’t stop her from worrying about Jenny’s reaction. She had just told her boyfriend’s sister she didn’t think they belonged together after all.

“How long have you felt this way?”

“I think we have both felt lost for some time. We’ve just existed together for so long that it has become normal. Something has changed between us since we have been here. I can’t keep living like this,” Anna sobbed.

Jenny embraced Anna, holding her tightly, gently stroking her hair. “Anna, speak to him now. Don’t wait any longer,” Jenny whispered as she comforted her.

“But the wedding is tomorrow. I don’t want to ruin it for him, or more importantly, you,” Anna replied weakly.

“Speak to him. Don’t let this go on any longer. It isn’t fair to either of you.”

Giving her one last look and a kiss on the head, Jenny left Anna alone with her thoughts. She knew what she had to do, and she knew she had to do it immediately, before any courage she had mustered, vanished.

James was sitting in the kitchen reading the morning paper. He peered over the top of the page as Anna entered the room. He continued to look at her as she sat in the chair closest to him. “We need to talk.”

“Can it wait?” he replied coldly, his eyes returning to the sports section.

“No, it can’t.”

Sighing, he folded the paper and looked at Anna. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Us!” Her voice was steady, and she felt ready to say what needed to be said; what should have been said months ago. “Do you love me?”

James’s face turned the same shade of red as his mother’s did when she was uncomfortable. “What sort of question is that?” he snapped.

“It’s one that you need to answer honestly, James,” Anna replied calmly. “I’m not in love with you.”

The conversation wasn’t about hurting him, but she knew they had been lying to each other for so long, anything she said that resembled her true feelings would seem heartless.

“I’m sorry if that is painful to hear,” Anna pressed on. “I’m not trying to hurt you, but I need us to be honest with each other.” She just needed him to understand. “It wasn’t me you were fucking last night. We both know it. I’m not mad, which is a problem, because if we were in love, James, that should have been a big problem.”

James took a second to collect his thoughts, letting out another sigh. “No, I don’t think we are in love, Anna.” He thumbed the piece of bread left on his plate. “I’m sorry about last night.”

“I am too. You are a good man, James. You deserve more and so do I.”

A few moments of silence passed. “What do we do now?” He looked up from the table to meet Anna’s eyes.

“I think it would be best if I went home.”

He blew out a breath. “Maybe that would be the best option. I’ll handle Mum.”

Yeah, I’m positive she’s going to be over the moon!

“Can you explain to Jenny as well? She has been so kind, and I feel terrible about leaving the day before her wedding.”

“Of course, don’t worry. We should talk again when I get back. Sort through everything.” Anna nodded in agreement.

A few more moments passed as they looked at each other. Maybe they were actually seeing each other clearly for the first time. Anna stood and went over to James. She wrapped him in a hug she hoped conveyed her feelings for him. Even though they weren’t in love, she appreciated him and the time they’d shared.

James held her tightly before letting go. He stood and left her at the table. Anna saw a tear fall down his cheek before he disappeared. She watched him leave, not sure if she should have stopped him or tried to comfort him more. There was little point, though. They had said everything that needed to be said for now.

Anna sat looking at the door for a few minutes. It finally dawned on her she had just changed the course of her life forever, and without a single idea of what to do next. The banging of a door upstairs brought her back to reality. Even though she didn’t have a plan, she knew she needed to get out of the house, away from James and his family, and away from everybody for a while.

Less than an hour later, Anna had packed. She still felt awful for the timing of her personal breakdown, but Jenny was very kind and wished her well. The taxi pulled up twenty minutes later, which had felt like an eternity, as she stood outside the front door with her bags by her side. She felt eyes on her back from the top window. She was certain James’s mother was making sure she actually left.

The taxi driver tried to strike up a conversation several times, but Anna’s mind just couldn’t focus. She was polite, but evidently not in the mood for chitchat. The driver turned up the radio and fell silent for the rest of the journey.

Anna let her mind drift, listening to the music as the world passed by. She hadn’t noticed the car had stopped until the driver cleared his throat. He helped her with her bags and then left her at the entrance to the train station.

Anna felt a sudden rush of relief. She wanted to hug the taxi driver, for no other reason than because he had literally taken her from a place of sadness and confusion to a place of possibility and adventure. At least, that’s how she saw it.

The next two trains were fully booked, leaving her no choice but to kill a few hours in the shops that were dotted around the station. Even though she had no life plan, she knew going home was the first step. It was the only thing that made sense to her. If she were going to sort herself out, she needed to be in a place that comforted her. Paris was that place.

The time to get through security was short. Anna had hoped it would take a little longer. She wasn’t sure she wanted to sit with her own thoughts for too long.

After collecting her belongings, she headed for the seating area. The Eurostar waiting area was mercifully quiet, allowing her to choose a seat farthest away from the other waiting passengers. She dumped her bags down and sighed, her body relaxing for the first time all day.

Once her belongings were shuffled under her seat, she glanced around. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw WHSmith because where there was a WHSmith, there were books to read and a chance for her to escape for a while.

The world around her fell silent as she browsed the shelves, reading each title and occasionally picking a book up to read the blurb. Twenty blissful browsing minutes later, Anna had picked two books, both of which she’d already read, but both she knew she could get lost in.

Anna immersed herself in fiction and the hours flew by. Now and then, she drew her eyes to the departure board, checking on the status of her train. Halfway through the second book, Anna checked the board again. She gave a little start this time because the train was now on its last boarding call. Quickly throwing the book into her bag, Anna raced to the platform. The stewards hurried her onto the train and to her seat.

A few frustrated faces greeted her as she sat down. Feeling her face burn, Anna smiled politely and sank into her chair, turning her face from the crowd of irritated passengers.

The train moved out of the station, quickly gathering speed. Anna pulled out her book and began reading again. She felt herself unwind. She didn’t have to think about anything or anyone, at least for the time being.

Unsure of how much time had passed, Anna was startled from her imaginary world by the steward, who placed her onboard meal onto the tray in front of her.

Smelling the assortment of cheeses made Anna’s stomach ache. She was suddenly ravenous. Pouring a little bottle of red wine into her plastic cup, Anna took several sips. The wine was full-bodied, and not bad quality considering it was train wine. She let the liquid roll around her mouth, relishing every drop. The food tasted delicious, and she savoured every morsel of cheese.

Feeling very relaxed and full, Anna put down her book and looked out the window, noticing they had entered France. It didn’t take long before Anna began running through the past twenty-four hours and everything that had transpired. Her eyes filled with tears, but they weren’t tears of sadness; they were tears of relief and joy.

With a newfound freedom coursing enthusiastically through her veins, she quickly grabbed her phone and began searching for hotels. Anna was happy to be returning to Paris, but she wasn’t ready to return to her apartment or to her everyday life just yet. She needed to take some time to figure out the next stage of her journey.

After twenty minutes of scrolling through the many rental listings in Paris, Anna found what she was looking for: an apartment in the elegant 16th arrondissement. It was a little above her usual price range for a holiday rental, but she wanted to treat herself. Lord knows she’d been through enough recently to warrant a little extravagance.

The apartment was available immediately, and for the foreseeable future. She contacted the landlord directly and was delighted to book it for the next week with the option of extending her stay.

She sent a quick email, briefly explaining her change of plans to Kim. Her PA was certain to find it strange that Anna had decided to take a holiday instead of returning to work, which she would most definitely have done under different circumstances; however, Anna was sure a period of peace and quiet was the right thing for her. She would explain everything to Kim in her own good time.

The sun had long set when the train finally arrived in Paris Gare du Nord. Anna was a little more organised this time. She had already packed away her book and phone and was waiting in line to disembark.

Once she had finally exited the train, Anna headed for the Métro. Without even thinking, she headed for the Number 4 Line. It was only after standing on the platform waiting for several minutes that she suddenly realised she was in completely the wrong place. Exasperated with her carelessness, she quickly changed direction and headed to the correct platform.

The day was slowly creeping up on her. Fatigue was setting in and all Anna could think about was laying her head on a comfy pillow.

“Only two more stops,” Anna murmured to herself as she leaned against the Métro doors. Her section of the train was relatively quiet. A few people sat listening to music over their headphones. Anna grinned. It felt like a lifetime ago she, herself, travelled the underground listening to music, blocking out the surrounding noise. Tonight, though, all she wanted to do was to hear the city. It comforted her.

The walk from the Métro to Anna’s new—albeit temporary—residence was short. She was unfamiliar with this area, but a quick look on her phone pointed her in the right direction.

The street was brightly lit with tall, ornate streetlamps. The pathway was almost as bumpy as the cobbled road, which made wheeling her suitcase unnecessarily difficult, especially after a day of travelling.

Anna checked each building for the correct number. She didn’t want to make a mistake and end up walking for any longer than was necessary. Her body was aching.

A friendly doorman greeted her with a very warm smile and pointed Anna to the concierge. They completed the paperwork for the short let quickly, which was a relief. Anna could barely keep her eyes open. Sleep was calling.

Once Anna had the key and door code, she set off towards the little elevator without hesitation. The bellboy had taken her bags, leaving Anna with just her shoulder bag. She slumped against the back of the elevator after she’d punched the button for the fourth floor. After the short ride up, she shuffled down the corridor and punched in the six-digit code to the apartment. She found her bags set neatly inside the door and the lights turned on.

Desperate to sleep, Anna searched for the bedroom, barely taking in her surroundings. There was only one door left after Anna had found the kitchen and bathroom. The bed was enormous, far too large for just one person, but she didn’t care. She threw herself face down and buried her head in the pillow, exhaled, and quickly fell asleep.

Feeling the light pierce through her closed eyes, Anna raised her hand to shield her face. In the race to sleep, she hadn’t checked if the shutters had been closed. The sun glared through the window, lighting up the room and Anna.

Propping herself up with the many pillows on the bed, she looked around, adjusting to her new surroundings. The bedroom was magnificent, big, and bright. The décor was minimalist; a few carefully chosen ornaments dressed the oak furniture. The air smelled sweet and perfumed, but not chemical.

Glancing around, Anna saw a large vase of fresh flowers sitting on a beautiful dining room table just outside the bedroom door. Smiling widely, she pulled herself up from the bed and headed to the bathroom. She could just remember where it was from her brief exploration of the apartment the night before.

After wearing her clothes for the better part of thirty-six hours, Anna needed to clean herself up. She needed to wash away the past.

Just like the bedroom, the bathroom was exquisite. Marble covered every inch of the walls and floor. The chrome fixtures gleamed brilliantly under the spotlights.

Throwing all of her clothes to the floor, Anna climbed into the shower. The hot water caressed her body, soothing her tired muscles. Feeling relaxed, she closed her eyes, hoping for a familiar dream to invade her mind. The fantasy she had found shocking to begin with, but the fantasy she now longed for: the stranger—the woman from the train station.

Before she could immerse herself any deeper, Anna was interrupted by the doorbell. Grabbing the bathrobe hanging at the end of the shower, Anna stumbled to the door.

A young man was waiting patiently with a tray of pastries and coffee. Seeing the confused look on Anna’s face, he quickly explained the breakfast had been sent on behalf of the owner as a welcome gift. So far, her day was off to an excellent start.

The pastries were divine. Anna felt sad the moment she’d finished them. She wished the young man would return with more. Knowing that scenario was unlikely, Anna took the pot of coffee to a small table and chairs. The setup stood before one of the large windows that faced the street Anna had walked down the previous evening.

She opened the window and breathed deeply. Paris wasn’t known for its clean air, but Anna didn’t care. She loved it—all of it. The coffee seemed to breathe some life back into her; caffeine had always been a close friend.

Sipping slowly from her cup, Anna surveyed the surrounding buildings. They all seemed very similar to each other except the one directly opposite her, which was a beautiful building with stunning architecture.

Peering out of the window, Anna looked down at the building’s entrance. It shared similarities to the lobby Anna had walked through last night, although it seemed even grander. The floor was marble, and she could just make out the rows of golden mailboxes that lined the walls. The doorman was also dressed a little better, wearing an expensive-looking uniform.

Letting her eyes wander up and across the different windows, Anna’s attention was drawn to the window opposite. It was open, revealing a small insight into the room behind it and to the occupant.

Some sort of equipment was leaning against the farthest wall. The furniture was the same as the apartment she was in, which got her wondering. Maybe her landlord owned several properties on the street?

As she pondered, a figure whipped across the window, startling her. Anna was sure the figure that had just darted by was a woman—a very naked woman. Anna felt her heartbeat quicken. A now familiar feeling crept into her stomach and her excitement built at the thought of seeing the figure again.

With bated breath, Anna sunk a little lower into her chair, hoping she wouldn’t be caught spying. A few minutes passed with no sign of anyone in the apartment. Just as Anna was about to leave her position at the table, the woman came back into view. Disappointingly, she was fully dressed in business attire and facing away from the window, therefore halting Anna’s attempt at putting a face to the beautiful body.

Suddenly, Anna’s phone vibrated loudly. The buzz echoed through the room. She’d forgotten it was on silent and the unexpected noise made her jump. Fumbling with the phone, her face rapidly heated. Glancing over at the apartment, she felt sure her sudden movement would have caught the attention of the woman in the suit, until she remembered she’d been facing away from the open window.

Breathing a sigh of relief and trying to steady her heart rate, Anna answered the phone. “Kim, is there a problem?” Her voice was a little shakier than usual.

“I’m so sorry to disturb you. I just need to know if you will be back by the twentieth?”

“Erm, yes, that shouldn’t be a problem.” She had no idea if it would be a problem or not. She hadn’t looked at her calendar in a few days and so much had happened since she was last at work.

“Okay great, I’ll write it in your diary—”

“I’ll text the exact date I will be in the office,” Anna interjected before Kim could say another word. “Speak soon.” She felt mean for being so short with Kim. It wasn’t fair and she would apologise—later.

For now, though, Anna needed to be alone. She needed time to sort through her complicated feelings. She also needed to recover from the very nice and very naked torso that had just sent her libido into hyperdrive.

Seven

H ow is it possible for my dream job to turn into such a nightmare?

After a few stunned moments, Sam looked at Hélène, who hadn’t taken her eye off Sam since dropping the bombshell she had been in a relationship with Lauren.

“I…” Sam stuttered, words failing her. Hélène continued to look at her intensely. “I’m sorry, I just can’t,” Sam whispered.

“Sam…” Hélène began, understanding it wasn’t their professional relationship that Sam was referring to.

“No, I’m sorry, Hélène. I can’t spend another moment near that woman. I can’t have her in my life again,” Sam croaked. There was no situation Sam could see where she could deal with Lauren all over again.

Hélène lowered her head. Sam recognised the defeated look on her face. After a few seconds, Hélène sat up straight, her head held high. “I understand. Please know I am very sorry for causing you pain. That was never my intention.”

Sam reached for her hand. “I know.”

“I don’t want this to ruin your time here, Sam. You have exciting work to do.”

“I won’t work with her.”

“Of course not,” Hélène replied without hesitation. “I will make sure Lauren doesn’t come anywhere near you whilst you are in Paris.” Hélène’s anger at Lauren was clear in her voice.

“Thank you.” Sam felt the weight of the evening’s events settle on her like a lead balloon. She was exhausted. “I need some sleep,” she continued, not able to look at Hélène any longer.

“Of course,” Hélène nodded, excusing herself, leaving Sam alone. It was clear to Sam her friendship with Hélène had to remain just that: a friendship and nothing more. She had no desire to be mixed up with anyone who had a link to Lauren or Jo.

With a deep sigh, she headed to the bedroom, noting the bed remained in a mess from the night before. “How the hell did this turn to shit within forty-eight hours?” It felt good voicing her despair out loud.

Slumped on the end of the bed, she knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep until she had spoken to Charlie. She needed her best friend to tell her what to do next.

“Sam, you sly dog, tell me how it went with your French lover.”

Silence.

“Helloooo, Sam, have you butt-dialled me? Heeeelloooo,” Charlie chimed.

“I’m here.” That’s all that Sam could manage before a waterfall of tears came cascading down her face.

“Sam, sweetie, what’s happened?” Charlie blurted, shocked by the outburst of tears over the phone. Sam let the tears fall. She couldn’t find the words. Charlie remained silent, waiting until she could speak.

“Lauren is here.” It was all she could manage. There was more silence.

“Honey, tell me what has happened.”

Sam took a deep breath and explained what had happened when she returned to the office that evening. She continued to explain how she ran away and about the conversation that followed with Hélène at the apartment.

“Okay, Sam, I know all you want to do now is break down, but you will not do that. You’re going to go take a shower, climb into bed, and sleep. Tomorrow will be better, I promise.”

Sam sat and listened. She knew Charlie was right. She couldn’t let the life she had been gradually building up be pulled down to a pile of rubble. Not again, and especially not by Lauren.

That was easier said than done, though. Her mind was desperately trying to get her to toughen up, but her heart felt as if it were breaking all over again.

“Sam, honey, are you still there?”

“I’m here. Just taking a minute.” Sam sighed deeply, her exhaustion overwhelming her. “I’m going to take a shower and go to bed.”

“Good, I’ll speak to you tomorrow,” Charlie replied. “I love you, Sam.”

“Love you too, Charlie,” Sam sniffled. She felt a little comfort knowing Charlie loved her and no matter what happened in her romantic life, that would never change.

After sliding her phone onto the table, Sam had to muster all her remaining energy just to lift herself to her feet. She headed to the bathroom and turned on the shower. She stood under the hot water, dropping her head down and allowing herself one last cry.

A few minutes later, she held her head back up, telling herself she was okay, she was strong, and she would deal with this. Her internal pep talk worked a little. Climbing into bed, she let the darkness take her into a dream-filled sleep.

She was in her old apartment. She could see Jo at the end of the corridor, beckoning Sam to follow. Sam glided towards Jo, unable to stop herself from moving. She entered the room where Jo had disappeared. She looked around. Jo was sitting on the bed, Lauren on her right and Hélène on her left.

Sam stood rooted to the floor as she watched Jo take Lauren by the throat and roughly kiss her, Jo never taking her eyes off Sam. Jo turned to Hélène and took her by the throat, as she had done with Lauren. Sam couldn’t move. She couldn’t speak, but she could feel tears running down her face.

Jo looked Sam dead in the eye. A wicked smile spread across her face as she stood and walked towards Sam, her hand extended towards Sam’s throat. Sam struggled as she tried desperately to move away. The thought of Jo touching her repulsed Sam to the very core of her being, but it didn’t matter what she did: Sam couldn’t move.

Sam held her breath, waiting to be taken by Jo. She waited with her eyes squeezed shut, and waited and waited. The touch never came. With her eyes still closed, Sam could tell the scene had changed. Her senses were engaged by a wonderful smell of almonds and cherries.

Sam opened her eyes. She was still in the room. Jo was in front of her with her outstretched arm, but she was frozen, no longer advancing. Sam felt hands on her shoulders. They dropped down and wrapped around her torso. She was being held.

She could feel lips brush by her left ear and heard a voice so soft it was like a melody—a tonic for her fear and anxiety. Sam waited, her breath stolen by this strange presence behind her, holding her and making her feel so safe.

“I have you, Sam,” the voice whispered. “I have you.”

Sam felt all the stress, and all the fear, melt away. She saw Jo dissolve. The room washed away until the only thing left was Sam and her protector.

Sam’s eyes fluttered open. Her dream had hit her like a train. It had felt so real. After the breakup with Jo, she was no stranger to nightmares, but this time was so different. She felt no anxiety, no pain; only the echo of the voice that had wrapped her up and protected her from the torture she was going through.

Sam breathed out heavily, trying to get a sense of how she felt. Everything that had happened the night before flooded back, but she didn’t feel overwhelmed with emotion. She felt calm and in control.

Well, that’s a first.

Shoving a couple of pillows behind her, she propped herself up against the headboard, trying to make sense of her thoughts and the feelings swirling round her head; however, before she had any chance to analyse anything, she was disturbed by the abrupt cry of the doorbell.

Wanting nothing more than to be left alone, Sam slipped back down into the bed and covered her head with the duvet. Her foolproof plan was thwarted by the person who was leaning on the bell. The relentless noise was excruciating, leaving Sam no choice but to climb out of bed and murder whoever it was on the other side of the door.

“Christ almighty,” Sam shouted, “I’m coming!” Who the hell was here at 6:15 a.m.?

Sam stopped before she reached for the handle. What if it’s Lauren? No, Hélène wouldn’t have given her my address.

A sliver of anxiety crept its way into Sam’s mind, flashing back to the first half of her nightmare where she was helpless against Jo.

A voice came from the other side of the door—a voice that was muffled, but one Sam was so happy to hear. “Sam, it’s me. Open up,” Charlie called.

Sam wrenched the door open to see Charlie leaning against the frame, looking tired and anxious. “What are you doing here?” Sam almost yelled.

“What do you think I’m doing here, dumbass?” Charlie rolled her eyes before walking into the apartment.

“But…” Sam was lost for words.

“Listen, I spoke to John last night. I don’t care if you disagree because what Lauren did was beyond unprofessional. She got away with it last time and I won’t let it happen again,” Charlie rambled, not allowing Sam to get a word in. “I filled him in on the entire story, every detail, so he could grasp the sheer audacity of the bitch,” Charlie continued as she dropped her suitcase and heaved off her coat, letting it drop to the floor. Sam stood there, dumbstruck.

“John didn’t muck about. I’ll tell you that much. He was straight on to the office in Paris and before I knew it, he’d summoned Lauren back to London. I wouldn’t want to be her right now!” Charlie mused. “Are you going to give me some lovin’ or what?” she shot at Sam, a grin on her face as she watched Sam try to make sense of the last five minutes. Sam took a breath and flung herself at Charlie, wrapping her up in a bone-crushing hug. “Jesus wept,” Charlie spluttered, strangled by Sam’s body.

“I’m just so happy you are here,” Sam cried.

“Alright, alright, I need to breathe, woman,” Charlie grumbled.

Sam let her go and stood there with a huge smile plastered on her face.

“Well, I have to admit I’m a tad surprised to see you in such good shape after the way you sounded last night,” Charlie chuckled, surveying Sam warily.

“Yeah, I’m surprised at myself, to be honest.”

“So why aren’t you a sad, crying bag of shit, wallowing in bed right now?” Charlie enquired with a raised eyebrow.

“I had a weird dream,” Sam answered. “C’mon, I’ll make us some breakfast and tell you about it.” Sam led Charlie through to the kitchen. It was evident Charlie was shocked by how wonderful the apartment was because her eyes feverishly scanned the area in wonder. “Nice, right?”

“Too bloody right it is,” Charlie agreed.

Sam let Charlie wander and peruse as she laid out breakfast. Croissant and Pain au Chocolat followed by toast and coffee.

“Holy shit, that looks good.” Charlie was almost dribbling at the sight of the food. “I’m starving.” She scooped up a croissant, shoving it in her mouth.

Sam chuckled, then did exactly the same thing.

“So, tell me about this dream,” Charlie said while chewing.

Sam obliged, recounting the dream in as much detail as she could.

“You know what that means, don’t you?”

“Nope, no idea,” Sam replied truthfully. The dream had made her feel different, but it confused the hell out of her.

“It was your mind showing you how much stronger you have become since the whole Jo incident happened,” Charlie stated, as if it were fact and not just her opinion. “Remember when you first had nightmares?” She didn’t wait for a response. “You had no control—no power or strength. You were heartbroken, but not anymore. Last night you took control,” Charlie finished, beaming a smile at Sam.

“Do you really think so?” Sam wasn’t feeling as confident as her best friend.

“I’m positive. I’m so proud of you.” Charlie reached over and squeezed Sam’s hand.

Sam sat at the table, staring out of the long window. “I recognised the voice, the one that helped me,” she mumbled mainly to herself.

“Who was it?”

“I’m not sure, but I know I’ve heard it before. I couldn’t forget a voice like that.” Sam let her eyes close as she remembered the soft, angelic tone that had whispered in her ear. A small shiver ran down her back.

“Well, whoever it was, I’m super happy they helped you. Maybe this is the turning point you’ve been waiting for.”

“Maybe,” Sam smiled. “How can I continue working with Hélène, though?”

“Listen, you had a one-night fling with her. That’s it. I presume you clarified the situation with her before all this happened?”

“Yeah, we said we would be professional. We had planned to see each other again, but not now—not after last night.” Sam sighed.

“Maybe that’s all it was ever meant to be; a quickie to set you straight, so to speak,” Charlie chuckled. “You needed someone to push you forward, but I don’t think that means it has to be something serious. You have some stuff to work out before you’re ready for that, I think.”

Charlie was spot on. Sam wasn’t looking for something serious, not just yet. Hélène wasn’t “The One”, but she had been someone who had helped Sam look to the future instead of the past. She’d also been an amazing friend.

“It’s astounding what a good shag can do, isn’t it?” Charlie grinned.

“You were doing so well, Char! Really doing a grand job at being a serious adult for all of ten minutes,” Sam laughed, rolling her eyes as Charlie chuckled. “You didn’t tell me how you ended up here, though.”

“Right, yeah, so, it turns out that John is a really cool guy. He was more than happy to let me come over to make sure you were okay. He seems to actually give a shit about his employees! Who knew?” Charlie smiled.

“So, how long are you over for?”

“Well, I didn’t get a deadline, but I think you need me to stay in this glorious city for a few days, right?” Charlie smirked.

“Oh, God, absolutely. I really need your support for at least four days, maybe five,” Sam sighed dramatically, as though she might crumble without Charlie by her side. Sam couldn’t wait to hang out with her bestie for a few days.

They polished off the rest of the pastries and refilled their coffee cups, both women taking in the grandeur of their surroundings. “Who would have guessed we would be sitting here right now?” Sam mused.

“Who would have thought it would take a trip to France and a good bonk to get you over the mountain of despair you’ve been stuck on for a year?” Charlie shot back comically.

“True,” Sam laughed.

The sun had risen considerably since Charlie had arrived. A beam shone through the open window onto Sam’s face. The blinding light made Sam wince and then made her jolt into action. “Shit, what time is it?” she barked.

“7:45, why?”

“I have to get ready for work. I wanted to be in by eight, but that’s not going to happen now,” Sam huffed.

“Chill out, go get ready whilst I clean up the breakfast stuff and then we can head out. I don’t get why you get so strung out about the time.” Charlie rolled her eyes.

“You know I don’t enjoy being late.”

“Who said you had to be in at 8a.m.?” Charlie mocked because she knew full well that Sam had made that timeline up all by herself.

“Well, nobody, but that’s not the point.” Huffing again, Sam got to her feet and headed to the bathroom, grumbling along the way.

Charlie just smiled as she watched Sam leave the room. Pulling herself up from the chair, Charlie began removing the debris of their breakfast from the table. After she was satisfied that the place looked tidy, she hauled her suitcase to the bedroom. “I’m sleeping with you, by the way,” she shouted, hoping that Sam could hear her.

“Well, obviously,” Sam called back.

Several minutes later, Charlie heard the shower shut off and the bathroom door open. Sam sauntered into the room, naked. “Hey, sexy.”

“Oh, shut up, I forgot my towel in the bedroom.”

Towelling her hair dry, Sam was distracted by the buzzing of her phone that sat on the table in the living room.

Without thinking, she ran to where her phone sat and straight past her open window with not a stitch of clothing on her.

As she picked up her phone, she thought she glimpsed somebody looking at her from across the street. Not wanting to stick around, she ran back to the bedroom.

“Have you lost your mind?” Charlie barked. “Sam, it’s one thing for me to see you in the buff. I’m used to it. Flashing half of Paris is a bit much, though.”

“Why are you shouting at me?” Sam laughed. Charlie was looking at her as if she’d just committed a crime. “I did not just flash all of Paris. That’s a tad dramatic, don’t you think?”

“You’ve got your windows open, Sam. Any old perv could look in.”

Sam flashed to the person she thought she had seen looking into her apartment. “Alright, I may have just given some unfortunate soul an eyeful across the street.” She tried not to blush at the thought of a stranger seeing her bits.

“See, now you’re going to have some creep leering through your window every five minutes to see if he can get a repeat performance. Honestly, Sam, I can’t leave you for a second.”

“She.”

“She?”

“Yes, I think whoever got a look was a woman.”

Funnily, that bit of information gave Charlie pause. “Okay, that’s a little better than a pervy bloke looking at you, but you might not be so lucky next time. Her husband or boyfriend could be there.”

“Char, that is the first time I have walked through this apartment naked.” Not the complete truth. She had strolled to the kitchen naked after her night with Hélène, but Charlie didn’t need to know that; otherwise, she’d never let the subject drop. “I was distracted by my phone and forgot I was naked. That’s all.” Sam had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing.

“Are you laughing right now?” Charlie shot.

“Well, I’m trying not to, Char, but you’re being ridiculous.”

“You won’t be saying that when you’ve got a hoard of skeevy men with binoculars, angling for a look,” Charlie griped.

That was enough to make Sam crack. She couldn’t stop her laughter from bursting out. “Oh, Charlie, you really are the best. I promise I will stop giving strip shows to my neighbours, okay?” Sam wiped a tear away from her eyes.

“Okay…good. I just want you to be careful. I’m not here to back you up if you get into trouble.”

Sam’s laughter died down. Yes, Charlie was being over the top, but she knew it came from a place of love and she now understood Charlie was probably missing her as much as she missed Charlie. Being away from each other wasn’t easy. Sam pulled on her robe and went over to her friend. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

“Yes, I do, and I will,” Charlie sighed. “Did you get a good look?”

“At what?”

“The woman in the window.”

“Not at all, just a quick glimpse, but…” Sam paused, gazing into thin air, lost in thought.

It couldn’t have been her. Could it?

“But…” Charlie stared at Sam, waiting for her to finish her sentence.

“No, never mind,” Sam finished, taking a second to look down at her phone, forgetting the naked dash into the living room was to answer the text she’d received.

Eight

A week had passed since Anna had taken up residence in her rented apartment. Seven days of lying around trying to untangle her thoughts and feelings. One hundred and sixty-eight hours of getting absolutely nowhere.

So far, Anna had read through a dozen books, eaten takeout, and watched some daytime TV. This mini holiday had not done what she’d hoped. She’d thought some quality alone time was all she’d need to get some answers for herself. She’d been wrong.

Blowing out a breath of irritation, she picked up her phone and scrolled to Frédéric’s name. Her fingers hovered over the call button. Usually, her brother would be the first port of call for any problem or crisis, no matter how small, but this time was different.

Frédéric was her person and her closest confident, but after so many years of keeping these particular feelings at bay, she couldn’t be sure how her little brother would react. Steeling herself, she finally hit the call button. After a few seconds, the call connected.

“Anna,” Frédéric sang.

“Freddy, can you meet me? I need to talk.” She’d forgone her usual greeting. She needed him now.

Frédéric picked up on her urgency without pause. “Tell me where you are. I am on my way.”

“I’ve sent you the address. Merci , Freddy.”

“Okay, j’arrive!”

Now she had to work out how she was going to explain everything to Frédéric. She presumed it would come as a shock to him and she could only pray that he would understand.

Anna sat at the little table by the window, unconsciously fiddling with her dainty wristwatch. The clock on the wall seemed to go at a snail’s pace. Anna peered out of the window now and then, to see if she could see her brother. Not knowing which part of Paris Frédéric would come from, there was no way to know how long she would have to wait.

Fifty minutes passed, and Anna could feel beads of sweat forming between her shoulder blades. The waiting had allowed her anxiety to skyrocket. “Maybe this is a terrible idea,” she voiced out loud as she paced around the living room, unable to sit still any longer.

Just as she was about to send a text to her brother, cancelling, the bell rang to signal Frédéric’s arrival. Anna stilled herself against the arm of the sofa. She took in a long, deep breath before moving to the door.

Frédéric was red-faced and windswept. He had a look of great concern carved across his face. His soft features pulled together as he studied her, searching for any signs of visible injury or pain. Anna stood stock-still, staring at him. She couldn’t get the words to surface.

A tear streaked down her face. Frédéric bolted towards her, pulling her into a tight bear hug. He kicked the door shut behind them.

“Anna, what the hell is going on?” he mumbled with his face buried into her shoulder. Anna continued to cry. The floodgates hadn’t just been opened, but had been ripped off their hinges entirely.

Minutes passed as Anna let the tears flow. Frédéric hadn’t moved a muscle. He simply held her until she finally felt herself breathing normally. Everything seemed a little easier now.

“I’m sorry, Freddy, I didn’t mean to drag you away from work.”

“You didn’t pull me from anything that is as important as you,” Frédéric replied, squeezing her a little tighter.

Anna pulled herself free and smoothed down her T-shirt. She needed to regain some composure if she were going to get through this conversation.

“Come and sit.” She gestured for him to follow her to the little table by the window. Frédéric complied without a word. He just watched and waited for Anna to speak.

“I broke up with James,” Anna began. Her breath steadied, and she felt a little more confident. “It hadn’t been working between us for a long time—maybe ever,” she continued, determined to say what she needed to before Frédéric could reply. “I came back from England early. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Freddy, but I thought I needed some time to figure it out by myself.”

“And did you figure it out?”

Anna let out a long breath, her shoulders slumping. “No, well, maybe… I’m not sure. I need to talk it all through with you, I think. I can’t get out of my own head.”

“Okay, but what is it exactly you need to figure out? Do you regret leaving James?”

“No! God no. That’s the one thing I am certain I did right.”

“Okay,” Freddy said slowly, waiting for Anna to fill in the gaps.

Anna cleared her throat. She was ready. “James and I weren’t compatible, that’s clear, but I think that… It’s not just James that isn’t compatible… I think it’s me and all men,” she stuttered.

Looking Frédéric square in the eyes, she waited patiently for his response. She watched as Frédéric realised what she was getting at. His face relaxed, and a smile crept onto his face. “I think I understand,” he said, reaching over and taking Anna’s hand.

“You do?”

“Have you said it out loud yet?”

Anna looked a little puzzled before it clicked. “No, no, I haven’t, because it’s only at this moment that I think I’m brave enough to say it,” she choked, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks.

Frédéric squeezed her hand lovingly. “Do you want to say it?” he probed, being careful not to push too hard.

Anna took a deep breath in and nodded. Slowly letting her lungs deflate, she smiled. “Frédéric, I’m gay.”

As if a plug had been pulled, all Anna’s feelings of dread, confusion, and apprehension drained away. Just saying the words aloud had freed her. She smiled and let out a nervous laugh.

Frédéric pulled her from the chair and wrapped his arms around her. “Now you have said it, do you think you could tell me the complete story? Because I don’t think this is something that has just been on your mind since last week.”

Anna nodded before she raised her index finger, signalling him to wait as she went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine. This conversation needed alcohol.

With a full bottle of red and two glasses in hand, Anna returned to the living room. Frédéric had shed his coat and scarf and moved to the sofa. Anna poured them both a generous glass and settled the bottle on the table.

After taking a big gulp of her wine, Anna relaxed into the sofa next to him. She wasn’t sure where to start.

How long have I had these feelings?

“I don’t know where to start. If I’m completely honest with myself, I knew I felt something different when I was at university.” Anna gathered her next words as Frédéric sat quietly, listening intensely.

“The thing is, I never thought too much about it back then. I was too busy with my education. I just wanted you guys to be proud of me, so I worked hard.”

“You did, Anna. You know we are all proud of you,” Frédéric said honestly.

“I have never been with a woman. I haven’t even kissed one, but I had a dance.” Anna felt a little heat rise up her neck at the memory.

“It must have been one hell of a dance.” Frédéric chuckled as he watched Anna stare out of the window, clearly reliving it all over again.

“Hmmm, it was.”

“So, who was the lucky lady?”

“I don’t know. We were blindfolded.”

Frédéric blushed at the new information, obviously unsure where this story was going. Anna saw his face and quickly interjected, “Nothing like that!” She chuckled nervously. This was a tough conversation to have with anyone, let alone her little brother.

“When I studied for a year in the UK, I must admit I noticed several women; however, there was one I don’t think I will ever forget.” Anna’s heart had picked up speed. She hadn’t thought about that night in a long time, but she would never forget it.

“I was invited to several parties. Most of them ended in ridiculous drinking games. You know how the English are!” she mused. Frédéric gave a brief nod of agreement.

“Well, at one of those parties, there was this game where we had to drink shots, then dance, blindfolded, to several songs. The best dancer won,” Anna explained briefly, realising how juvenile it sounded.

“It was the silliest game I have ever played, but actually quite fun. Everyone enjoyed it. However, the last dance was a slow song. Before I knew what was happening, someone had pulled me close. It was a woman.” Anna felt herself blush. She could almost feel the woman against her skin again. “I can’t describe it, Frédéric. It was the most sensual dance I have ever had. I felt this connection that was so strong it took my breath away!”

“So you didn’t find out who it was after the dance had finished?”

“No, I ran out as soon as the song finished. Freddy, it was one thing noticing a few women, but feeling what I did that night took me completely by surprise. It scared the living daylights out of me.”

Frédéric nodded his head. He was the most understanding man Anna knew. “So…after that night, you didn’t think any more about your feelings?”

“Of course I did, but I wasn’t ready to fully embrace it. I was too frightened.”

Frédéric scooted himself on the sofa so he was sitting by Anna’s side. “Oh, Anna, I’m so sorry you carried this alone. You were always looking after me, making sure I was doing well. I never stopped to notice if you were struggling with something.”

“Freddy, there wasn’t anything to notice. Once I buried the feelings away, I submerged myself in my studies and then my work. By the time I met James, I’d got comfortable with my life as it was. James was easy. He was comfortable. I now know I shouldn’t have settled,” Anna sighed. Guilt washed over her as she spoke. James had deserved better. Hell, she had deserved better, too.

“I hope you know now that I’m here for you. Every step of the way.” Frédéric smiled, pulling Anna into another gargantuan hug.

“I can’t believe I was ever worried about talking to you,” Anna chuckled.

“I can understand, Anna. There are too many instances of people coming out to their families, believing they knew how they were going to react, only to have their lives smashed to pieces.”

“How did you become so wise?” Anna squeezed his face with her hands.

“I have some experience in the matter,” he replied with sadness in his eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“Lucie’s cousin came out a few months ago. His parents did not react well. It has been a sobering time.”

“Lucie?” She wasn’t familiar with the name.

“Oh . Mon . Dieu ! I never got round to telling you about her the last time we met,” he laughed.

“Ooh, ton amoureuse ,” Anna declared, remembering their conversation that was cut short last week.

“Oui, mon amoureuse ,” he gushed, smiling from ear to ear about his girlfriend. “But now isn’t the time either, Anna. Today is about you. It isn’t often you need me and I will not let you down now.”

“Freddy, you have never let me down,” she stated.

“So, will you tell Mum and Dad?”

Anna sucked in a breath. In all the excitement of telling Frédéric, she had quite forgotten about her parents. Frédéric saw her panic. “You don’t have to tell them anything, Anna. Only do it when you feel ready. There is no rush, okay?”

Anna nodded. Today had taken a lot out of her, and the thought of doing it all over again was daunting. “I will tell them. I think I just need a couple of days to prepare myself. I’ll go back to work on Monday, so maybe I could visit them this weekend. Would you come with me?”

“Absolutely, Anna.” Frédéric nodded with such enthusiasm, he looked like a bobble head.

Two days after she had spoken to Frédéric, Anna packed her weekend bag, ready to visit her parents. She’d spent the rest of the afternoon with her brother, talking about her feelings, talking about Lucie, and pretty much anything and everything they could think of. Having such an intense and in-depth catch-up with Frédéric had proven to be both taxing and enlightening.

After Frédéric had left Anna alone, she began planning how she would approach such an important subject with her parents. Anna was extremely close with Frédéric, and she liked to think they were close as a family unit, but she couldn’t be confident her parents would be okay with her sexual orientation, especially after being with James and never giving away any clue she may indeed be attracted to women.

Anna disliked talking to her parents about her love life and now, thinking about it, she could understand why. Her mum always pushed her on matters of the heart, but how could Anna speak of such things? Especially when she wasn’t able to be honest about what her heart had really wanted in the first place.

A little guilt crept over her as she remembered all the times she had snapped at her mum for asking about James or how their relationship was going.

For two days, Anna had become more and more anxious. She tried to write her feelings down on paper. She even tried to plan a speech for her parents, but no matter how much she tried, the words failed her. Frustrated, she’d messaged Frédéric many times over the past forty-eight hours. He’d tried his best to calm her, but nothing really worked.

Standing on the platform, waiting for her brother to show up, Anna fiddled with her wristwatch again. She desperately tried to focus on her breathing and heart rate, pleading with her body to calm down.

Staying calm was proving to be near impossible, though, because in just under an hour she would be in front of her mum and dad, opening herself up to them like never before.

Frédéric was late. Again. No surprise, really. Over the years, Anna had suggested plenty of ways he could better organise himself so he could arrive on time. He had taken none of her thoughts on board at all.

Anna was used to his tardiness, but today she felt her patience slip. This was too important and she needed her brother by her side.

Just as she let out an agitated breath, she spotted him jogging through the crowd, his scarf dragging behind as usual. “I’m sorry, really, I am. I had an alarm set and everything, but somehow, I muted it.” He looked flustered and genuinely sorry.

Anna couldn’t stay mad at him. After all, he was doing her a huge service by going to their parents’ with her. He had also been the best brother she could have wished for over the past couple of days, so she let it go. In fact, she would never complain about his tardiness again.

She grabbed his hand and gave it a loving squeeze. “It’s fine. I’m just so nervous.” The announcement for boarding crackled overhead. With a deep breath and a look of encouragement from Frédéric, she grabbed her bag and headed for their carriage.

The journey was only forty-five minutes; just long enough to get settled and order a quick drink from the onboard drinks service. She downed her tiny bottle of gin in one gulp, forgoing the plastic cup and ice she had been given.

“Are you okay?” Frédéric looked at her with worry in his eyes.

“No, but I will be. No matter how this plays out, I know it’s the right time, and the right thing for me.” Anna’s breathing normalised. Her words were true; she would be okay.

They sat in companionable silence for the rest of the journey. Anna felt the train slow. She squeezed her eyes shut, readying herself. They both looked out of the window as the small village station came into view and the platform slid next to their train.

Anna spotted her dad instantly. He was a tall man, with shocking red hair and a prominent belly. Anna had inherited her father’s height but her mother’s colouring. She was also thin like her mother, which had always been a blessing. She could eat what she liked without having to exercise daily.

Frédéric was very similar to their father. His hair was more blond than red, but anytime he tried to grow out a beard, it was beautifully laced with rich orange hair. The only problem was his beard never quite filled out and was always too patchy to look good.

The train pulled to a stop and neither of them moved for a few minutes. Anna needed a bit more time to find her feet. Once most of the passengers had disembarked, they rallied their possessions. They stepped off the train and were greeted by a wonderfully warm breeze. The air was so much clearer than in Paris and Anna always appreciated it.

Before she could take another step, her dad’s impressive form was in front of her, leading her into a tight hug. After several minutes of hugs and kisses, they piled into her father’s Renault and set off on their twenty-minute drive to her parents’ cottage.

Anna sat in the back of the car, grateful that Frédéric was chatting away to her dad about his newest project. She had to concentrate on keeping herself from vomiting or possibly passing out, watching as the familiar country lanes whizzed by.

Straightening herself up in the back seat, Anna squared her shoulders as they drove up the gravel driveway. Her mum was waiting by the open cottage door, wearing her trusty apron which was covered in flour. No doubt there was a pie baking in the oven.

As soon as Anna had exited the car, her mother took her by the shoulders and gave her kisses on each cheek. She returned her mother’s kisses and greeted her with, “Coucou, Maman .”

“Darling, how are you? It feels like forever since you were here.” Before Anna could come up with an excuse as to her absence, she saw her mum searching over her shoulder as if looking for someone. “No James?”

“No, let’s go in,” Anna snapped, not wanting her mum to push the subject. She could see the hurt flash across her mother’s face as she registered Anna’s sharp tone. Anna dropped her head as she followed her mum into the kitchen. She knew she should apologise. It wasn’t right to talk to her mum like that.

They spent a few minutes catching up with light conversation before Anna excused herself to the room she would stay in. The bed was made to hotel standards, each corner pristine. Anna smirked. Her mum had probably been up early, cleaning and preparing for their arrival.

She threw her bag on the bed, followed by herself. Lying on her back, she turned her head to the window. The photo frame hanging on the wall caught her eye. It was a picture of her and James. Anna heaved herself off the bed and stood in front of the picture, analysing the image. They were both smiling, but she could see neither smile reached their eyes.

I’ve wasted so much time!

That realisation was why Anna decided she needed to talk to her parents immediately. Her original plan had been to wait until Sunday lunch, knowing she would hop on a train back to Paris soon after. It was her escape plan if her parents reacted badly.

Now, after seeing all the wasted time framed and hanging on the wall, she couldn’t wait a moment longer. She had to start living her life—the one she had forsaken when she’d settled for easy instead of true—regardless of the consequences she may face.

Anna entered the kitchen. Her dad was sitting in his usual seat, trying to complete a crossword. Frédéric sat on his left, skimming through the week’s TV Guide. As usual, Anna’s mother was busy cooking. It looked as if she had planned to feed the French Army with the amount of food piled around on the kitchen surfaces.

Anna’s stomach rolled. Her nerves were completely fried. She stopped at the cupboard that was packed with wine glasses, picked out four, and set them on the table.

“It’s a bit early for wine, dear,” her mother commented.

“Maman , can you sit for a minute? I have something I need to talk to you about.” Anna’s mum stopped chopping the carrots that were spread over the large chopping board. She threw a surprised glance over at her husband, and then back at Anna before settling in the last seat at the kitchen table.

“Oh, you’re doing this now?” Frédéric whispered, sitting up straight, waiting for Anna to continue.

“Is everything okay, dear?” her mum quizzed, concern flashing in her eyes.

“Yes…uh, well, no… I mean, yes, I’m fine. I’m not ill or anything.” Anna stumbled over every word. She noticed a slight pressure on her arm. She looked down to find Frédéric’s hand holding her forearm. He was reassuring her. “Okay, first thing. I want to say sorry, Maman , I shouldn’t have snapped at you when we arrived.” Anna saw her mum’s eyebrows rise in surprise at her apology.

“No need to say sorry, love. It’s already forgotten,” she smiled.

“No, I was wrong to talk to you like that. The fact is…is that James and I have parted ways.”

Her mum looked at her and then at her father, with what could have only been described as relief. “Oh, well…” Her voice was far too light for such a serious thing. “He wasn’t the one for you, dear.”

Anna had to take a second to process what her mum had just said. “You’re not upset? But I thought you really liked him?”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, James is a lovely man. He just wasn’t the one for you, Anna.”

“Riiight…” Anna elongated the word, giving her a few extra milliseconds to get herself back on track. The hardest part was still to come, although she was happy she didn’t have to waste her time arguing over James. “Anyway, it’s not just about James. I have something else to tell you.” Anna’s breath hitched. It was now or never. Her parents were waiting patiently for her to continue. Anna cleared her throat and rolled her neck. “Maman , Papa … I’m gay.” She had done it. The words had made it past her lips. Heat was rising up her neck. She stared at her parents, holding her breath.

“Right… Well, I wasn’t expecting that, love,” her father chuckled nervously. Anna studied him, checking for any signs of anger or hurt, but she couldn’t see any. Her gaze shot to her mother, who let out a tremendous sigh.

Oh no!

Her mum dropped her shoulders. “Oh, Anna, what am I supposed to do? I don’t know any lesbians, love. How am I supposed to set you up now?”

Anna’s laugh was completely involuntary. She was in shock.

Before she knew what was happening, her mother had risen from her seat, rounded the table, and was holding Anna like she had when Anna was a child.

Anna’s laughter quickly turned into sobs as she let her mum envelop her. Seconds later, Frédéric and her father had joined the hug. In all her life, she had never been as happy as she was at that very moment.

Nine

S am lounged on the large, comfy sofa, blissfully content. Her week hadn’t started out as planned, given all the drama that had occurred with Lauren and Hélène. Her saving grace had been Charlie’s unexpected arrival. The world didn’t seem such a scary place now. Charlie had eked out a full week in Paris, and even though she would leave the next day, Sam couldn’t help but smile.

Showing Charlie the Paris offices had been exciting and a little nerve-wracking. It had taken a few awkward conversations between Sam and Hélène before they were able to move past the whole “Lauren” debacle. Charlie had absolutely loved talking to Sébastien, and he’d even offered a second tour of Paris, sans tourists, so she could enjoy it just like Sam had on her first day.

Exploring Paris with Charlie allowed Sam to get hundreds of new shots. They seemed to walk for days. Charlie had spent a considerable amount of that time moaning about walking, especially when they’d visited Montmartre Basilique, which consisted of an endless flow of concrete staircases that led to the summit.

In Sam’s opinion, the hike had been more than worth it. The view of Paris from the Basilique was breathtaking. Charlie had not been as enthusiastic and spent the entire trip grumbling. Charlie’s mood—and occasional grumpy outbursts—only made Sam laugh at her dramatic friend.

They spent their evenings visiting different cafés and restaurants. Sam was sure she had never eaten so much food in her life, but as Charlie kept reminding her, they were, quote, “Living their best life”.

On several occasions, Charlie had tried to convince Sam to seek out the nearest lesbian bar, which was easier said than done. Considering the size of Paris, it was woefully lacking in the gay scene.

It didn’t matter because Sam wasn’t ready to date. Her little dalliance with Hélène, and its complete failure, only made Sam feel the need to keep her distance from women and dating for a while longer.

Sam definitely felt stronger within herself now. The whole “Jo saga” had stopped being so painful. She’d stopped feeling the loss so strongly. Charlie put that down to “the damn good shag” she’d had with Hélène, which Sam couldn’t deny.

Maybe that’s what she’d needed to move forward, but it didn’t mean she was ready to date. A fact which Charlie strongly disagreed with, but had eventually respected when Sam got a little firm with her.

Stretching herself off the couch, Sam plodded over to her little table by the window. The weather had been superb, and she had even caught a little colour. For Sam and her pale ass skin, that was a miracle in itself. For most of the week, she’d left the windows open to let the gentle breeze waft through the apartment. Charlie was in the bedroom packing, playing her favourite tunes on her phone and singing along.

Sam had taken the afternoon off, or to be honest, she was skiving from the office. She knew Hélène wouldn’t say anything and she would probably let Sam get away with worse, considering how things had turned out between them.

Flicking through her phone, Sam mindlessly scrolled through her social media accounts. Normally she didn’t post, but she had uploaded a couple of selfies she’d snapped with Charlie in front of the Eiffel Tower and other monuments.

She was so unaware of her surroundings she didn’t see or hear Charlie standing right next to her. With a prod in the shoulder, she almost flew out of the seat in surprise. “Jesus Christ!” she yelled.

“Whoa there, Lassie,” Charlie laughed. “Are you alright?” she continued, now bent over, laughing at Sam, who was clutching her chest as if her heart might jump out of it.

Breathing heavily, Sam sat back at the table, eyeballing Charlie. “Why did you sneak up on me? You know I hate it when you do that.”

“Keep your knickers on, woman. It’s me who should be pissed. I’ve been calling you for five minutes and you’ve been ignoring me.”

“I didn’t hear you,” Sam replied, her anger dissipating, now feeling embarrassed about her overreaction.

“Well, no shit, Sherlock,” Charlie grinned. She pulled out the chair next to Sam and sat down, her features changing from amused to borderline serious. Sam noticed and squirmed in her seat. She knew this look, and she didn’t like where it was going to lead.

Sure enough, before she could say anything, Charlie spoke, her tone serious, “Before I go, I need to talk to you.” She paused, gauging Sam’s reaction. Sam just sat and stared. Once Charlie realised Sam wasn’t about to hightail it out of the room, she continued, “First, let me say how proud of you I am. I know having Paris sprung on you was difficult, taking you out of your comfort zone. But you came, and you conquered.” She let out a bark of laughter and Sam looked confused.

“What do you mean ‘came and conquered’? I’m no way near the conquering stage yet,” Sam quizzed.

“I mean, you came out here and promptly humped a local,” she grinned.

Sam felt her face go beetroot. “I’m not sure that’s something to be proud of,” Sam murmured, looking down at her lap. Charlie’s stare was making her uncomfortable.

“Oh, but it is, my dear friend. It is, because even though I joke, you sleeping with Hélène meant so much more than a one-night stand, considering everything you’ve gone through over the past year.”

“If you say so.” It was the only thing Sam could think to say.

“I know talking about this sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, mate.” Charlie leaned over to squeeze Sam’s arm. “Which is why I wrote you a letter.”

“A letter?”

“Yes, a letter. You know, it’s a bit of paper with writing on it,” Charlie shot back, rolling her eyes.

Sam sat for a second, gathering her thoughts. “You have never once written a letter to me or any other person in the world.”

“Well, no, but it’s the only way I can get you to hear me without feeling like I’m lecturing you,” Charlie replied, frustrated.

“I always listen to you,” Sam argued.

“No, Sam, you don’t, you listen but you don’t hear me. So, I have written you a letter and I left it by the bed. I won’t force you to read it, but I hope you do.”

“Well, what’s it about?” Sam grumbled. She didn’t like this conversation at all.

“Read it and find out. That’s all I am going to say about it.” She gave a nod of finality before getting up and heading to the kitchen.

Sam sat, a little shell-shocked. She had thought Charlie was going to give her another one of her lectures about getting back out into the dating world, but obviously not.

Charlie returned with a pizza takeout menu as if she’d said nothing out of the ordinary at all. “Pepperoni sound good?”

“Um, yeah…fine…whatever you want,” Sam replied quietly.

They ate their food in silence. Sam couldn’t quite muster up the enthusiasm to play hostess. Charlie seemed happy enough to let Sam wallow a little. She didn’t push, but she didn’t shrink away either.

They shared a few drinks and a large pizza. Finally, after the third beer, their conversation started to flow. They began sharing their favourite memories of the past week and discussed which restaurant was their favourite. By the end of the evening, the earlier conversation had been forgotten.

The morning sun shone through the apartment. Charlie had been up since six, making sure she had all her belongings ready to go. The car Hélène had sent was due to arrive at eight sharp.

Sam stood by the window, looking out onto the street and the building opposite. She already missed her best friend. She wasn’t sure when she would see her again.

“I’m not dying, Sam,” Charlie chortled when she saw Sam’s bereft look.

“It’s been awesome having you here Char. I’m gonna miss you.” She pulled Charlie into a deep hug.

“My job is done, mate. You’re good to go. No holding you back, Sammy.” Charlie smiled, her cheek wedged against Sam’s. “You are gonna rock this project.” She squeezed Sam as tight as she could.

“Thanks, Char.” Sam squeezed her back. The sound of the doorbell broke them apart. Sam wasn’t sure why she felt so emotional about Charlie leaving. It wasn’t the first time they’d been apart.

Charlie collected her bags and headed to the door. She turned to Sam and gave her a wink. “See you around, woman.” And then she was gone. Sam headed to the window to watch her leave. The way Charlie had said goodbye felt a little too final.

Sam let out a deep breath. She stood with her back to the window and cast her gaze around the apartment. Without Charlie by her side, everything felt “too much”. Paris felt like “too much”.

Sam saw the letter as soon as she entered the bedroom. Without hesitation, she swooped down and grabbed it, tearing it open. Curiosity had got the better of her. What could Charlie possibly have to say that she hadn’t heard before?

Sam,

I know this is lame, but I don’t know how else to get you to listen. You know how much I love and support you and I hope you know I have tried my hardest to give you love and support whilst you went through the breakup with Jo.

Now it’s time for me to say some things I should have said years ago. The last thing I want is for you to be pissed at me. I know I can get under your skin when I push you about dating again. I’m sorry about that. I just want to see you happy again. No, fuck that. I mean, I want to see you happy again, obviously, but what I really want is my best friend back. I haven’t seen her in a decade!!!

Jo cheating on you was not the worst period in your life! You didn’t see it, but I did. Jo began changing you from the very start. You think she was the love of your life, but you are dead wrong—on that I am certain.

The Sam I met all those years ago was so sure of herself, but not in an arsehole kinda way. That Sam was never scared to take chances, to love and live life to the max. That Sam knew she was a friggin’ rock star behind a camera and was not shy about putting herself out there. That Sam disappeared the night she met Jo!!!

That woman systematically tore you down. She took your confidence and your spirit and manipulated them over the entirety of your relationship. There were several occasions that I tried to talk to you about the way she was treating you, but she’d done such a good job of screwing you up, you just couldn’t see anything but her. Once I realised I could lose you as a friend if I pushed you too hard or Jo realised I was onto her, I did the only thing I could think of and stepped back.

I watched for years as my best buddy, my gay hero, wilted away, losing everything that made her so wonderful.

I doubt very much that Lauren was Jo’s first indiscretion. I think once she had finally tamed you, she got bored and moved on to others. I understand you will probably hate me for saying all this, but what have I got to lose? I had hoped that once she was out of your life, you would eventually get over her and I would get my mate back. Now I understand Jo did a better job of breaking you than I realised.

I’m so sorry I couldn’t keep you away from her! I’m so sorry she preyed on you and I couldn’t stop it. Please, Sam, please understand your worth. You are a ray of light in this world—a ray of light that had a huge shadow cast over it for far too long.

You are ready to shine again, honey. Please take this letter in the way I intended it, with only love and support for you! Start loving yourself. Start healing properly.

Jo leaving was the best day of your life and I pray to all things good in the universe that you will come to see it as the best day of your life, too. Start healing by finding your way back to the real you! Become the best version of yourself, my gay hero! I love you, Sammy. You are my family. I’m always here. ALWAYS.

Charlie xx

Sam must have read the letter five times. She just couldn’t process what Charlie had said. She read the words wilted away… such a good job of screwing you up… and Jo began changing you from the very start , over and over, until they seemed to be seared into her brain.

Sam hadn’t known Charlie had felt this way. She tried her hardest to recall a time when Charlie had tried to warn her away from Jo. The truth of the matter was, Charlie was right. When Sam met Jo, she had been swept off her feet. Jo made her feel like the most special woman in the world, and Sam knew she had fallen for Jo right off the bat. She wouldn’t have heard a bad word said against her, not even from Charlie.

Sam slowly lowered the letter to her side, letting it slip from her fingers. She felt numb. Was Charlie right? Had she been manipulated, as Charlie had written?

A heavy weight settled on her chest. Trying to push past her misery, Sam headed to the bathroom. She needed a damn hot shower to burn and wash the words away.

Flipping on the light, she leaned against the worktop, staring into the mirror above the sink.

Have I really been changed that much?

Sam let her mind wander back to a time before Jo. She remembered how much fun she’d had, how carefree she always felt, and how sure she had been in her ability to make art with her camera. Sam pictured herself getting ready for parties with Charlie, always knowing she would capture the attention of women easily with her confidence and charm. Could she say the same now?

Sam ran a hand through her hair; sandy-coloured hair that once shined and bounced, now fell limp and lifeless, scraped back into a tame ponytail. Her blue eyes, that had once sparkled with joy, now stared dully back at her.

The sight in front of her was too much. Sam dropped her eyes from the mirror as a tear fell down her face, hitting the worktop. “What happened to me?” she whispered out loud. Shaking her head in disbelief, she stripped and stepped under the water.

After a very long and soothing shower, Sam lay on the sofa, wrapped in her fluffy dressing gown. Her mind was going a hundred miles a minute. The reality that Charlie could be right about the last ten years of her life was unbelievable. She couldn’t wrap her head around it. There was only one person who she needed to call; one person who would get her through this.

The call connected after the third ring. “My darling, how are you? Are you taking Paris by storm already?” Sandy chimed, ecstatic to hear from her daughter. The silence lasted for several seconds. Sam did not know how to begin. “Sam, love, are you alright?” Sandy enquired; the cheer stripped from her voice.

“Mum, I need to ask you something and I need you to be honest.”

“Well, of course, love.”

“Did I change when I was with Jo? I mean, did I…did I stop being me?” Sam stuttered, the emotion overwhelming her again. Sam heard her mum take a sharp breath.

That can’t be good!

A beat or two went by before Sandy answered, “Yes, my darling, you changed.” Sam’s breath hitched; tears swam in her eyes. “I must admit I didn’t see it straight away, but over time, you shied away. You stopped going out with friends—stopped doing anything that Jo disapproved of, which, my darling, seemed to be everything.” Sandy sighed as she continued, “I spoke to Charlie on a couple of occasions…times when I was worried. Charlie told me she’d tried to talk to you, but it was no good.”

Silence.

“Sam, are you still there?”

“I…I’m still here.”

“I just wanted you to be happy, Sam. You were a grown adult making your own choices, and I wanted to support you, love.”

“I know,” Sam whispered. “Charlie wrote me a letter. Can I read it to you?”

“Of course.”

Sam cleared her throat and began reading. Hearing the words aloud seemed to cause her more pain than when she’d read them silently to herself. The words were painful because they were true.

“How do you feel about what Charlie said?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know how to feel,” Sam answered honestly. “I’ve read it so many times, and after reading it to you out loud, I think Charlie’s right. I think I am lost, Mum.” Sandy remained silent. “I was so devastated because I thought Jo was the love of my life. But even I thought I would start to feel better about it after all this time, but I just haven’t been able to move on.”

The words were pouring from her and she couldn’t stop, even if she wanted to.

“I’m so ashamed that I let this happen. I lost ten years of my life, Mum.” Her tears of sadness were being replaced with tears of anger. “All of my twenties—gone!” She was almost shouting now. “All the goals and dreams I had in uni—gone! Gone because I let myself get sucked into something that wasn’t even real. She never loved me. She just used me for her own sick games, and I fell for it. I feel like such an idiot.” She was panting hard down the phone, waiting for her mum to speak.

“Do you feel better now, love?”

Sam controlled her breathing and checked in with herself—a trick Sandy had taught her when she was younger. On reflection, she was feeling better. She’d needed to vent. The weight on her chest eased. “Yeah…yes, I feel better.”

“Good…now, my girl, tell me what you are going to do? You may have lost time to that woman, but you still have the rest of your life to live. As far as I see it, you have two choices: either you stay angry at the situation—at the past—or you let it go and stop spending your precious time thinking about what could have been. So, I’ll ask you again: What are you going to do?” Sandy quizzed.

“I’m going to look forward… I…I’m going to work on loving myself again, I…I’m going to remember who I am and what I’m capable of. I’m going to know my worth and… I’m going to make art in Paris,” Sam declared, her voice strong and her resolve steadfast.

“You are going to shine, my darling.”

Sam stood with the phone to her ear, looking out of the window. It had become her favourite place to be. As she watched the world go by, a reassuring feeling settled over her. Paris was going to help her heal; help her move forward to become the person and photographer she always wanted to be.

Ten

A nna blinked rapidly. Her neck felt sore from spending hours in an awkward position. She had fallen asleep on the couch again. It wasn’t the first time since she’d begun renting the swanky apartment and she was sure it wouldn’t be the last. She’d arrived home late from her weekend with her family and simply couldn’t make it to the bedroom.

It was past 10:00 a.m. when she finally woke. She couldn’t remember a time when she had stayed in bed that long. Other than when she was ill, Anna always rose early, which was strange because she was a terrible morning person.

Usually, the slightest sound would wake her, but not last night. Last night she’d fallen into the deepest sleep she’d ever had. There could have been a pneumatic drill going off next to her head and she wouldn’t have stirred.

She’d spent a wonderful Sunday with her family, eating and drinking in the luscious garden at the back of the cottage. The weather had suited her mood, being bright and warm all day. They’d all had such a good time, Anna and Frédéric had taken the last train home to Paris, instead of the one they’d originally planned to take just after lunch.

Anna pulled herself up to a sitting position, stretching out her long limbs. Her phone pinged and an email notification popped up on the screen. As much as she had tried to disconnect herself, she knew it was time to get back to her life. She reached for the phone, presuming the email would be work-related. It wasn’t. It was from James.

Hi Anna, just wanted to make sure you are okay. I came back a little earlier than planned and noticed you haven’t been home. I think it’s best that I move out as soon as possible, so I’ve collected some of my things. I’m going to stay with a friend until I decide on my next move.

Please keep the apartment. You always liked the place more than me. I’ll message you once I’m settled. I’ll organise some movers to get my bigger items in a few days.

I hope that in the future we could be friends. No reason to part on bad terms. I don’t think either of us is to blame. Just the way life is, I suppose.

Anyway, hope you’re doing okay.

Speak Soon,

James

Anna let out a sigh. She didn’t want any animosity between them. Friends could be an option, but she wasn’t sure he would want that after she had told him she was gay. As much as James was a nice guy, she wondered if her sexual orientation would hurt his ego. Do I have to tell him?

They weren’t a couple anymore. Did he really need to know? She tabled the idea for now. There was only one person left she felt needed to know, and that was Kim.

Anna had been a little curt with her PA the last time they’d spoken, and Kim hadn’t deserved it. Kim was so much more than an assistant; she was a friend. It seemed Anna was doing a lot of apologising lately. Living in the closet had made her a bit of a bitch.

Throwing her phone down, she prepared herself to go to work. She hadn’t told Kim when she would be back. She still had plenty of holiday days saved up from years of overworking, but the need to stay hidden away had vanished the moment she had spoken the three terrifying words to her parents.

Anna wanted her routine back, although she would still stay in her fancy rental for another few weeks. She’d extended her lease a few days prior to visiting her parents. That extension gave her time to decide what she wanted regarding the apartment she’d shared with James. She wasn’t sure if it suited her anymore.

Showered and dressed, Anna looked at herself in the mirror. It was the first time she had ever dressed down for work. Her black jeans were fitted and clung to her toned legs and the white V-neck T-shirt was form-fitting, accentuating her subtle curves. Her hair had grown out a little and was hanging below her shoulders in soft waves.

Pleased with how she looked, she threw her phone in her bag and headed out the door. Putting her sunglasses on and her earphones in, she selected an upbeat playlist and started walking. There was no way she was riding the stuffy Métro today. The route to her office would be long, but she didn’t care. She wanted to feel the sun on her face. She wanted to look around the city as she walked—something she hadn’t done in a long time. There was no rush; not today.

Thirty minutes of walking in the sweltering heat forced Anna to stop at a small bar. She needed a drink and some shade. The bar had a terrace situated out back with six little tables covered by umbrellas. The cold metal of the chair felt delicious on her skin as she leaned back.

A few minutes passed before a waitress stepped under Anna’s umbrella. She was cute. Anna couldn’t help noticing her blonde hair, whipped into a messy bun, and the subtle eye makeup framing her deep blue eyes.

Anna could feel herself staring. She cleared her throat and ordered a glass of sparkling water. Stabbing Anna’s order into the small handheld computer she was carrying, the waitress left, giving Anna a marvellous view of her tight arse.

“Putain ,” Anna muttered to herself. “Get a grip on yourself,” she exclaimed, a little louder than she expected. Was this how it was going to be from now on? Every time she saw a beautiful woman, she would become an ogling mess? Her body seemed to have a mind of its own. Her clit certainly did.

Squeezing her thighs shut, she accepted the water from the waitress, who had returned with a warm smile, quicker than Anna expected. Anna downed the water as quickly as she could and left. Earbuds back in, Anna lengthened her stride to get her heartbeat going. She had to work off her sudden burst of sexual frustration somehow.

She rounded the corner of the street where Tower Publishing was located. A little smile crossed her face. She was happy to be back. Swinging the door open, she headed to her office. Anna saw the instant Kim clocked her presence and noted the flash of surprise and concern on her face.

Kim was on her feet in seconds, clutching her notepad and making a beeline for Anna. “Anna, what are you doing here?” Kim stuttered.

“It’s nice to see you too,” Anna joked.

“No… I… Obviously it’s great to see you, but I wasn’t expecting you in.”

“That’s because I didn’t tell you when I would be back, Kim.” She began fingering the papers strewn on her desk, trying to see if anything was of great importance.

Kim opened and closed her mouth several times, not sure how to proceed. “I should have tidied your desk,” Kim suddenly blurted, her face still marred with concern.

Anna couldn’t let Kim suffer anymore. It wasn’t fair. “Relax, Kim, please, it’s my fault. I should have messaged you.”

Kim’s shoulders seemed to drop and relax a little. “Is everything okay?”

“Can you set up a dinner for this evening, you pick the restaurant? Make it for two.”

“Oh. Yes, of course,” Kim spluttered, scribbling down Anna’s request on her notepad, which was unnecessary, as Kim had a memory like an elephant. She was clearly nervous about Anna’s sudden reappearance. “Um, I don’t have you booked to meet anyone.”

“No, I don’t have a meeting. I’m hoping you will join me for dinner. Pick anywhere you like—my treat.”

“Right… Okay.” Kim looked utterly bewildered. In all the time they had worked together, they had never gone out to dinner. The odd lunch now and then, but nothing outside of office hours.

“I’ll set it up and email you the details, then.” Kim gave Anna a sharp nod before retreating to her desk. Anna hoped Kim wasn’t going to sit and worry about her sudden dinner invitation, but Anna certainly didn’t want to discuss her private business in the office.

Sure enough, five minutes later, Anna received an email giving her the time and place for their meal. Anna’s office walls were made of glass so she could see out onto the main floor. Kim’s desk was just outside to her right. She looked up, catching Kim’s attention. She gave an enthusiastic thumbs up acknowledging her email, and Kim gave her a nervous smile in return.

The day seemed to fly by. Everyone went about his or her business as usual. Kim was the only one acting a little strange; she kept shooting Anna nervous looks. Anna smiled back, trying to convey everything was okay.

The sky outside was still bright when her colleagues began filtering out of the building, heading home to their loved ones. Anna hoped that would be her one day. A light tap on her door snapped her out of her thoughts. “Are you ready? Our reservation is in fifteen minutes.”

“Yes, let’s go,” Anna replied, putting her bag over her shoulder, gesturing for Kim to lead the way out.

Ten minutes later, they were seated by the window of Kim’s favourite pizzeria. Anna knew it was her favourite because it was the only place Kim would order from if they worked late, and because Kim never stopped raving about the place to anyone who would listen.

After a few minutes of awkward silence, Kim looked like she was fit to burst. “Are you firing me?” she almost squealed.

Anna’s eyes became the size of saucers as she watched Kim become overwhelmed with panic. “Of course not! Why on earth would I fire you?” Kim was looking at her with wild eyes. Anna felt terrible. “I promise you, Kim, you will always have a job with me,” she added, hoping to ease Kim’s anxiety.

It seemed to work. Kim visibly relaxed. “Okay, so what’s wrong?”

“Well, nothing is wrong, per se. I would like to talk to you about something…personal.”

Kim looked at her with quizzical eyes. “You can talk to me about anything, Anna. We are friends after all.” Kim smiled brightly, her demeanour back to her bouncy self, which was a relief.

“Yes…yes, of course we are. It’s just… I find it difficult to talk about private matters.” A blush had started to creep up her neck. “So, I ended things with James,” she continued, hoping Kim wouldn’t interrupt. She didn’t. “It wasn’t right for either of us, and in the end, it just wasn’t fair to continue on the way we were.” Kim sat patiently, giving a little nod of her head in understanding. “Well, that’s not really what I wanted to talk to you about… I…I was able to take a little time for myself after London and well, there is no other way to say it, so here goes… I’m gay, Kim.”

God, was she going to spend the rest of her life outing herself? She really didn’t like the thought of it—far too stressful.

Kim’s expression gave nothing away. After a few moments, she reached over and squeezed Anna’s arm. “Thank you for sharing that with me, Anna. I’m really honoured you felt comfortable enough with me to do so.” Kim smiled, her eyes full of love for her friend.

Anna blew out a breath. “Shall we order and get a drink?”

“Absolutely.” Kim turned to signal the waiter they were ready to order. Two bottles of beer were put on the table. Kim insisted you could only drink beer with pizza. They lifted their bottles and clinked. Anna drank half the bottle in one go. She needed it.

“So, what’s next?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, when are you going to look for a lady?” Kim waggled her eyebrows.

“Oh, well, not sure I’m quite ready for that.”

“Nonsense, of course you’re ready. You’ve just done the hard part. Now you get to enjoy yourself,” Kim continued, a cheeky grin plastered on her face.

Anna rolled her eyes. “I’ve only just come out, Kim. Maybe I need a little more than ten minutes processing time before I look for a partner,” she chuckled.

“A partner? So you want to settle down?”

Anna hadn’t really thought about it, but yes, that’s exactly what she wanted. “Yes, eventually. I don’t have the time or the interest to play around.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure, that in order for you to find a partner and settle down, you actually have to go looking for someone. They won’t just fall in your lap,” Kim quipped. “I can be your wing woman,” she added, clearly over the moon with her own idea. Kim was practically vibrating in her seat at the thought of it.

Anna held up her hand. “Slow down.”

It did little to calm Kim. “Oh, come on. We could have a girls’ night on the town. We’ve never done that!” Kim pleaded.

Was Anna really considering it? Could she put herself out there so quickly? Kim’s excitement was infectious. After all, this was the reason she had braved coming out to her family and friends.

Anna chewed on her bottom lip. “Okay… I’ll go out with you.”

Kim started bouncing in her seat, clapping her hands in excitement.

“But only if you calm down,” Anna quickly added.

Kim giggled and stopped bouncing. “This weekend, I can come over to yours beforehand and we can have a few cheeky drinks, if you like?”

“Yes, okay. I’d like to show off the apartment I’ve been renting, anyway. It’s very swanky,” Anna grinned. She was actually looking forward to it, even if she felt the weight of anxiety settle in her stomach. Kim gave a squeal of excitement before swallowing the rest of her beer.

The rest of the evening was delightful, full of laughter and playful banter, and by the end of the meal, they had planned for their night out. Kim would come by Anna’s at eight on Saturday to get ready, and then they would head out into the city. Kim had been more than happy to take the reins organising the bars they would visit, which suited Anna just fine; she didn’t want to overthink it all. Best to let Kim handle that.

The rest of the work week flew by. Kim and Anna had eaten lunch together nearly every day. By the time Friday rolled around, Anna was feeling nervous about the weekend plan, but it was a good nervous.

Her anxiety and dread had been left behind days ago. Now she could almost taste the possibilities that lay ahead. The possibility of meeting a woman—even just the possibility of sharing a drink with an amiable lady—was good enough for now.

The day before, Anna had nipped back to her old apartment to grab some much-needed clothes. It hadn’t been an easy trip. There was so much history between her and James. No matter how it had ended, they’d shared a life together, and the apartment was an uncomfortable reminder.

Anna had quickly decided she wouldn’t return there to live. She needed a fresh start. All those decisions could wait for now, though, because in a few hours she was going to her first gay bar.

The buzzer sounded at eight o’clock sharp. Kim was nothing but punctual. Anna threw open the door with a wicked grin. She may or may not have started a bottle of wine in anticipation.

Kim looked great; dressy…but still casual. Her platinum-blonde hair cascaded down her back in ringlets. Her short body looked fabulous in the form-fitting polka-dot knee-length dress she wore. Even with her stilettos—which were ridiculously high—she was still much smaller than Anna.

“You look wonderful!” Anna cheered, leaning in to give her a two-cheek kiss.

“Why, thank you,” Kim replied, giving a mock courtesy. “You, on the other hand, are in a dressing gown,” she giggled. It seemed Kim had also partaken in a little pre-gay bar drinking herself.

“I know, I’m sorry.” Anna walked from the entrance door to her bedroom. “Grab a drink and I’ll be with you in five minutes.”

Anna heard Kim clinking glasses and pouring the wine she had started earlier in the evening. Kim slinked into Anna’s room, almost giddy with excitement. She handed Anna her wine. “Tchin, Tchin .” They gently knocked glasses.

“Okay, two minutes and I’m ready.”

Kim had parked herself on the bed, taking in the beauty of Anna’s apartment. “This place is wonderful,” she exclaimed, already slurring her words a little.

“It’s a dream,” Anna shouted through the bathroom door.

Before Kim could reply, Anna walked into the bedroom. Kim stared at her with wide eyes, causing Anna to stop mid-step.

“Do I look okay? You’re staring at me funny.” She could feel her cheeks growing warm under Kim’s stare.

“Holy shit, Anna. You. Are. A. Fox!” Kim squealed, jumping from the bed and grabbing Anna’s arms, forcing her into a twirl. “I mean, wow!”

Anna’s face was burning. She rarely got complimented on her attire. She pulled herself from Kim’s grip, a nervous smile on her face. The only thing she needed was her earrings.

Kim beckoned her over to the mirror. “Anna, look at yourself—seriously. Looking like this, you should have no doubts, at all, you are going to get some serious attention tonight.”

Anna took a minute to look. She’d decided on three-inch heels, tight, straight-cut dark navy jeans that hugged her arse perfectly, and a black satin strappy tank. Her hair brushed against her skin in subtle curls, and after several YouTube videos, she’d also mastered smoky eye makeup. Kim was right. She looked good. She gave herself a little smile and turned away from her reflection.

“Drink time!” She wiggled her eyebrows devilishly.

The taxi arrived just before nine to whisk them away. Kim explained she had found a couple of bars to try out. The car journey was quick, the first bar being only a five-minute drive. Kim noticed Anna was becoming quite nervous. She was entangling her fingers over and over. “Anna, calm down, love.”

Anna stilled her hands and looked at her friend. “I’m nervous,” she murmured.

“Listen, you have nothing to be worried about. Tonight is just a little exploration. You do not have to do anything but have a drink with me. There is no expectation of anything else, okay?”

Anna saw the sincerity in Kim’s eyes. She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled as the car pulled up to the first bar. “You ready?” Kim held onto Anna’s hand. Anna gave a quick nod before walking to the bar entrance.

The outside had neon signs lighting up the street. Anna could hear the music pumping loudly, the glass in the door vibrating from the bass. Kim took the lead and headed to the bar. Anna kept her eyes firmly on her friend.

The space was far from packed, but there was a nice-sized crowd. The place wasn’t huge, but allowed for a few small tables to litter the edges of the room and a small dance floor at the back by the DJ stand. Kim collected their drinks and ushered Anna to one of the little tables.

“Doing okay?”

“Yes, fine. I think I need a couple more drinks, though,” she chuckled.

“Good job I ordered a few shots then, isn’t it?” Kim grinned, arching her eyebrow. Sure enough, the bar woman approached with a tray of six shots. “Down the hatch.” Kim threw the first shot down her throat, followed by a second in quick succession. Anna followed suit. The alcohol burned all the way down, but it felt good.

They quickly chased off the rest of the tray and let the buzz of the alcohol settle in. Anna was relaxed; the beat of the music was making her body move by itself. They chatted amongst themselves for a good half hour until the DJ turned the music up even higher. “Ready to dance?” Kim shouted.

“Why not?” They made their way to the dance floor, not too far from the table, so they could keep an eye on their belongings. Anna let the music flow through her. She felt absolutely free.

Anna perused the room as they danced. There was a complete mix of people. Some seemed coupled up, and many were in friendship groups. There was the odd person on their own, but either way, everyone was having fun.

It was after the fourth song that Anna noticed Kim’s eyes widen slightly. Something had caught her attention over Anna’s shoulder. Just as Anna was about to follow her gaze, she felt a body press ever so softly up against hers. The unknown person began moving in time to Anna’s rhythm. Anna shot a look at Kim, who raised her eyebrows, questioning if Anna felt comfortable. Anna gave a subtle nod.

What could it hurt?

This was the reason she had come out: to experience women.

She danced with her back to the person for a few beats before turning around to fully connect with her dance partner. The woman was tall with short brown hair swept back neatly. She wore black jeans and a white tank top. The music was so loud that any attempt at conversation was futile, so they danced silently, smiling at each other.

The music changed, and the woman came in closer. She wrapped her long arms around Anna’s waist, grinding into her. As much as she was having fun, Anna was no way near ready to go any further.

Kim must have sensed Anna’s body language change because, in an instant, Kim danced herself into Anna’s personal space, giving the other woman a little wink as she shimmied herself between them and began dancing with Anna back towards their table. The woman didn’t seem very upset and, within a couple of seconds, was pressed up against another patron.

“Thanks,” Anna shouted, giving Kim a little shoulder bump.

“Wing Woman Kim at your service,” she laughed. “You ready to go to the next bar?”

“Let’s do it.”

The night air was chilly when they exited the bar. Anna focused solely on Kim as she pushed her way through the small crowd gathered by the door.

Rushing towards a cab that had just been vacated, Anna accidentally brushed the shoulder of a woman who was talking on her phone. She smelled delicious.

Unfortunately, Anna only had a split second to gaze back at the woman who had her back to them, because Kim was hurrying her along.

Shame I didn’t get to dance with you!

Eleven

“S ixteen…Seventeen…Eighteen…Nineteen…Twenty, oof.” Sam exhaled as she face-planted the ground, her entire body falling limp. She tried to suck in as much air as possible. How had she become so out of shape? During high school and college, Sam had been an avid sports player. She was at home on a football field and tennis court.

Her mum loathed fitness of any kind, so Sam presumed she must have inherited her love of it from her dad. She often felt sad she had never got to share her passion with the person who made up one half of who she was.

By the time she’d got into uni, Sam had dropped her commitments regarding football and tennis because she knew it would be too much to juggle whilst studying. She simply couldn’t find the time. Sam did, however, fit in her workout routines, and even though she thought it a little self-braggy, she was in damn fine shape back then.

Things changed when Jo happened. As with everything else she enjoyed, Sam had given up that part of her life when Jo complained it took up too much of her time. Of course, Sam hadn’t realised what was happening back then, but after the past few days, she quickly realised it was just another part of herself she had given up at Jo’s behest.

Not anymore, though. Sam couldn’t get back the time she had lost, but she could damn well start again, and that was why she was now hyperventilating on the solid oak floor of her Paris apartment.

The day after she had spoken to her mum, she’d woken up with purpose. The purpose was to get back to her former self—better, if she could manage it. Exercise had also been the best way for Sam to work through her feelings. It always helped clear her mind, reset her emotions, and think things through and find answers.

Sam had an excellent memory of her former workout schedule, which she had been trying to replicate, but it had been so much harder than she realised. Instead of breezing through her fifty squats, fifty crunches, and fifty press-ups, she had managed to only complete half of that. With her lungs burning, she could already feel her muscles protesting. She was going to be in a world of pain tomorrow.

Undeterred, she scraped herself off the floor and grabbed the bottle of water that stood by the couch. Her mouth felt as if she had been stuck in the Sahara for a week. Half a litre later, she felt a little more human.

“Okay, need to adjust the routine,” she panted. Nothing was going to ruin her newfound determination. She spent the next half an hour rewriting her schedule, picking exercises that helped build muscle, but incorporated cardio, too.

The results were very pleasing. She had a full week’s schedule planned. She smiled at her work. Speaking of work, she needed to get a move on if she was going to make it into the editing suites before it got busy. She threw off her workout gear and headed for the shower. Her muscles needed some TLC.

The shower took longer than she had planned. The hot water soothed her body and she was loath to get out. Her phone buzzed, leaving Sam no choice but to step out of the comforting embrace of the hot water.

Charlie’s face was lighting up her screen. It would be the first time they had spoken since Charlie left Paris. She gave a little smile at her best friend’s goofy face; a picture Charlie had taken of herself without telling Sam she’d saved it as her profile picture. She was pulling a ridiculous face.

“Hey, Char.”

“Hey Sammy, you okay?”

Sam knew Charlie had intentionally given her some space over the past few days. Sam also knew from Charlie’s voice she was worried Sam was angry with her about the letter.

“I’m better than I’ve been in a long time, mate. Thank you for helping me get there.” Sam did not intend to let her best friend suffer through the conversation. Yes, she’d been surprised, or more like shocked, when she had first read Charlie’s brutally truthful letter regarding Jo and everything that had happened, but she had never been angry at her. Charlie only ever did things out of love. Sam always trusted that.

“You’re not mad?”

“Not at you, Char, never at you. At myself, definitely, but I’m working to change that.”

“I’m so proud of you, Sam. You’re a legend,” Charlie laughed.

“Thanks, couldn’t do it without you and Mum. I called her after I read your letter. I was just as surprised to learn she felt the same way as you did about it all. Was a shock to the system, but a shock I needed.”

“Sorry, Sammy. I hope you don’t feel like we were ganging up on you. That was never the intention.”

“Not at all. I just needed to hear it straight,” Sam sighed. After a beat of silence, she shifted the conversation. She was done with misery and sadness. “Guess what I did this morning?”

“Umm, do I really want to know?” Charlie chuckled. “You didn’t bang another local, did you?” she barked.

“No, I did not! God, you always go straight to sex, don’t you?” Sam laughed.

“Well, yeah, sex is amazing. Nothing wrong with that.” Sam could hear Charlie’s smile.

“Anyway, no, it wasn’t anything sexy, but it left me panting and gasping for air,” Sam teased.

“Oh, Christ, you haven’t got yourself into some weird fetish, have you?”

“Ha! No such luck. I did a workout session and I think I turned all my muscles to spaghetti. I’m not sure I can lift my camera bag.”

“Hell, yeah, Sammy, get on it,” Charlie cheered, making Sam laugh. “God, do you remember all the ladies you pulled just by wearing a tank top that showed off your physique?”

“I’m not doing it to pull women, Char, and what are we, eighteen again? My days of ‘pulling’ are done. I want to meet someone nice—looking a little more long-term nowadays.”

“Are you ready to date?” Charlie gasped. She had been trying for so long to get Sam out and about, but with no success.

“I’ve got a lot of work to do on myself, but I’m not counting it out any longer. I always wanted to settle down, even in uni. It was you and the others who made me out to be some sort of lesbian Casanova,” she laughed.

“Oh, mate, you earned that name. The funniest thing about it was you didn’t even know how bloody charming you were. You could get the ladies to drop their knickers with just a smile,” Charlie chuckled. “The fact that you weren’t trying to be a Casanova was the reason you were so successful at it. It was epic to watch. I was so jealous of your confidence, mate!”

“You had zero reasons to be jealous. If memory serves, you did okay for yourself, too.”

“Yeah…I suppose… Still, I was never as good as you.”

Sam hated hearing Charlie self-deprecate. Since the whole shitshow with Jo, Charlie had stepped up. She had grown in confidence to help Sam in the wake of her broken relationship.

Charlie had struggled with her self-confidence when they had first met. Her parents had taken a hands-off approach where raising their daughter was concerned and it had affected her self-esteem and self-worth because she’d never got any reassurances from her parents throughout her childhood.

“Stop it. Uni was years ago. You are the strongest and most confident woman I know. You have nobody to be jealous of, do you hear?”

Charlie sucked in a breath. “Sorry mate, not sure why I went down that rabbit hole.”

“Any chance you had a call from your parents?”

“How’d you guess?” Her voice was laced with sadness.

“Because that’s the only time you feel shitty towards yourself.”

Charlie had been her rock for the past ten years. It was time Sam pulled her head out of her own arse and became the best friend Charlie needed. She hated the thought that Charlie had shelved her own issues and she really hated the thought Charlie had felt she couldn’t confide in Sam because she didn’t want to cause her any more upset.

“They said nothing out of the ordinary. They never do. I just don’t understand why they had me. Why bring me into the world and then ignore me for thirty years?”

“I, for one, am thrilled they brought you into this world. They might be a ten on the shittiest parent scale, but you have me and Mum, always!” Sam hoped Charlie could hear how sincere she was.

“I know, Sammy. I don’t know why I still let them get to me like this.”

“Because you’re their kid, Char. It’s only natural you want them to take an interest in your life.”

Charlie let out a deep sigh before sucking in a deep breath. “Fuck ’em—that’s enough of that. Christ, the convo’s turned a little too deep for a Wednesday morning,” Charlie chuckled, sounding a little more like her cheerful self.

“You ain’t wrong, mate. Feel like I need a stiff drink now.”

“Well, it must be five somewhere in the world.”

“I wish… I gotta be an adult and go to work,” Sam whined for effect.

“Yeah, adulting is bollocks,” Charlie whined back. “What’s on the books today?”

“Editing, editing, and more editing. I have so many photos I need to have a clear out. Start doing some weeding.” Her mind wandered to the two SD cards full of photos. She was going to have a long couple of weeks. She loved it.

“Sounds like you’re gonna have a blast. I’ll let you get off. I need to head out soon, too. Will you text me later?” Her voice more timid than normal. She was obviously still feeling a little vulnerable.

“Absolutely. Catch you later,” Sam chirped before cutting the call.

The screen was blurring in front of Sam’s eyes. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been staring at the image in front of her. The editing suite had been busy for most of the day, but now she was the only one left burning the midnight oil.

She hadn’t been wrong when she thought the next few weeks were going to keep her busy. How she’d taken so many photos was beyond her. She sifted through them slowly because she wanted to look at each photo carefully to see if it hit the mark, fit into the project, and aligned with her vision.

Sam always made multiple backups of all the photos she took. Sometimes, she liked to look back at her work—not the work that was perfect, but the missteps—the imperfect shots. She could always learn from her mistakes.

As she was organising the pictures, she made a separate file for the photos of her and Charlie they’d taken. They were mostly silly, but some of them would be great on Sam’s wall at home.

Pushing her chair away from the desk, she rolled her head, trying to ease some discomfort she had from staying in one place too long. She swivelled around to take in some scenery. The streetlamps were glowing, highlighting the street below and the offices opposite.

As she scanned the building in front of her, she noticed one light remained. Sam knew it would be Hélène’s office lamp. Before she could second guess herself, she saved her work, shut down the computer, and headed out of the building.

Usually, she would text Henry to pick her up straight away and take her back to the apartment, but not tonight. Tonight, she needed to make amends.

Crossing the street, she entered the empty offices. She needed to clear the air properly with Hélène. “Knock knock.” She gently tapped on the closed door that led to Hélène’s office. She rolled her eyes at herself for actually saying, “Knock knock.”

What a twat!

“Come in,” Hélène called quietly.

“Hi,” Sam smiled.

“Sam, everything okay?”

“Yeah, fine, no problem. Wondered if I could have a word?”

“Of course.” Hélène gestured for Sam to sit.

“So… There’s been a lot going on in the short time that I have been here.”

Hélène straightened her back, giving Sam her undivided attention.

Sam pressed on, “First, I want to apologise. I kind of binned you off after the whole Lauren saga.”

“Binned me off? I don’t understand that phrase.” Hélène looked confused.

“Right…sorry. I mean, I reacted badly to the situation and then disappeared on you. I know you didn’t know who Lauren was to me. In the short time I’ve known you, I understand you wouldn’t have done something like that on purpose. You’ve been nothing but kind and professional.”

“Not completely professional, Sam. I slept with you on the same day you arrived.” Hélène blushed, diverting her eyes from Sam.

“That was consensual. It was nothing to do with work,” Sam replied. “I don’t want to get into all the details, but let’s just say I’ve had a few home truths told to me recently and it’s helped me a lot. I can’t be in a romantic relationship with you. That hasn’t changed, but I really want us to be friends, Hélène. I think we really get on and my past with Lauren shouldn’t stop us from building a friendship.” Sam shifted in her chair. Deep conversations made her uncomfortable. “So… Do you think we could start again, as friends?”

“I would like that a lot, Sam.” Hélène smiled brightly, her shoulders relaxing as she leaned back in her chair.

Sam beamed at her. “Great, phew, that got a little tense,” she laughed.

Hélène chuckled alongside her, happy the tension had dissipated. “How’s the project?”

Sam was glad to move on to a lighter topic. “It’s going really well. I didn’t realise how many pictures I’d taken over the last week. I’m spending some time picking out the best ones. It’s going to take some time before I can whittle them down to the ones I want to use.”

“What have you shot so far?”

“Mostly landscape and architecture. I think…” Sam hesitated, not sure if she should say what was on her mind.

“Think what?”

“I think I’m going to scrap the whole model idea,” Sam replied, trying to sound confident in her decision.

“Oh? Why is that?”

“The project is to capture Paris—the truest version of Paris I can find. Using staged models doesn’t fit. Capturing people in their natural state is the way to proceed. No staging, no lies.”

“It’s your project, Sam. I trust your creative decisions. Do what you feel is best.”

“Thanks.” Sam beamed again. “I’m going to head home. Sleep is required.”

“Good idea. I’ll follow you out. It’s been a long day.” Hélène rolled her chair back and collected her things. They left the offices together and waited for their drivers.

“Do you want to go for a drink this weekend? I think we could both do with blowing off a little steam.” Sam hoped Hélène would grab at the chance to hang out as friends.

“You know what? That would be great. How about we go out on Saturday night? There is a bar I quite like, and it’s full of card-carrying members.” Hélène winked.

This was the first time in ages Sam considered going to a gay bar. The idea was a welcome one. She missed being around her people.

“Deal. Text me the address and I’ll meet you there.”

“Done. See you tomorrow, Sam.”

“Night, Hélène.”

Today had been a good day.

Thursday and Friday whizzed by in a blur of coffee and editing. Sam had made a slight dent in her mountain of photos, but there was still a long way to go. She was happy she’d had lunch with Hélène on both days. They slipped into easy conversation, and it felt comfortable between them again, which was a relief.

Sam spent most of Saturday scouring her clothes, hoping to find something wearable for her debut out onto the Paris gay scene. No such luck. All her clothes were only suitable for work.

Rolling her eyes, she faced the fact she would have to go shopping.

“Bollocks!” she shouted. Sam had never been the type of person who enjoyed milling around shops.

Sam

Hélène SOS!!!!

Hélène

What’s wrong?

Sam

I have nothing for tonight.

Hélène

For God’s sake, I thought you had a genuine emergency!

Sam

It is, you don’t want to be seen with me looking like a tit.

Hélène

I am strongly rolling my eyes at you right now. I can have something sent over if that would help.

Sam

You would be my hero. I hate shopping. Do you need my sizes? I don’t do dresses.

Hélène

Trust me. See you later.

Sam thrust her hand in the air in triumph. Thank God for Hélène.

A couple of hours later, her clothes arrived by messenger. Sam unzipped the garment bag and got ready, giving herself a quick once-over in the mirror when she was finished.

Hélène had done a grand job. She wore tight black jeans and a white slim-fit shirt, which had a few buttons open, allowing some cleavage to show.

The shirt was paired with a form-fitting waistcoat that shimmered in the light. Sam had made an effort with her hair for a change, deciding against her usual ponytail. After an hour of preening, she finally looked good enough to go out.

The taxi pulled up to the bar. It was covered with enough neon lights to be seen from space. Her phone pinged as she got out of the car. It was a message from Charlie…well, actually, it was a rude meme, because Charlie had the humour of a horny teenage boy.

Sam stepped onto the kerb as she replied. She felt someone brush past her to grab the taxi she had just exited. Sam’s eyes drifted back over to the cab just in time to witness the nicest bum she had ever seen climbing into the back seat. Not wanting to be caught staring, she headed into the club. Sam was ready to let her hair down.

Sunday was spent cursing the world. Sam had really let her hair down—like way down. Vodka seemed to ooze out of her pores. Gross. After a long shower and several cups of coffee, Sam was able to function at a reasonable level.

Hélène

How are you feeling?

Sam

Like death.

Hélène

Me too. Why did we drink so much?

Sam

I don’t know, ugh, kill me now.

Hélène

Listen, you need to go to a meeting at Tower Publishing in the morning before heading into the office.

Sam

Why?

Hélène

Rupert wants the prints made into a book. Not sure why, but that’s what he has requested.

Sam

Send me the address.

Hélène

See you tomorrow. I’m going to vomit now.

Sam chuckled. She was happy she wasn’t the only one suffering.

The trip to Tower Publishing was enjoyable. The area was pleasant and the architecture was wonderful. Sam couldn’t resist whipping out her camera for some shots. The commute had been an easy one, with little traffic so early in the morning.

The appointment was set for 8:45 a.m., but she’d arrived ten minutes early. A short woman dashed over within seconds of Sam entering.

“Ms. Chambers?” Wow, she was far too enthusiastic for the time of day.

“Erm, yeah.”

“Great, wow, nice and early. Anna will love that.”

“Right…so, er, who is Anna?” Sam’s brain was not firing on all cylinders.

“You’ll work with her on the book. Has no one filled you in?”

“Well, not really. I was only told yesterday about the meeting.” Sam hoped she didn’t come across as unprofessional.

“Oh…never mind. Anna will fill you in on all the details. I’m Kim. I’m Anna’s assistant. Would you like a coffee?”

“Thanks, black, no sugar, please.”

“Take a seat there, and I’ll let Anna know you’re here.”

Before Sam could reply, the woman had dashed off at an alarming speed. Sam took a few deep breaths. No worries, she could rock this meeting, even though she was completely flummoxed by what it was going to involve. As far as she was concerned, she just took the pictures. Job done. Rupert and John obviously had different ideas.

The assistant—Kim, that’s her name, right?—came whizzing back over. “Anna is ready for you now. Follow me.”

Sam did as she was told and was ushered into an office. There was a tall, dark-haired woman perusing shelves that were at the back of her desk. Sam cleared her throat and then nearly choked on her own spit when the woman turned round.

Sam definitely knew that face.

Holy shit!

Twelve

“ Merde !” That’s how Anna reacted when she received an email from Marcus on Sunday. She was hungover, and the last thing she wanted to think about was work.

No choice now. The email detailed a meeting that had been wedged in, early the following morning. Anna already had plenty to do, and she knew that there were other people in the office that could take it for her, but Marcus had insisted it be Anna.

Anna

Kim, did you see the email from Marcus?

Kim

No, I can’t open my eyes yet. Everything hurts.

Anna

No choice. It’s been set for tomorrow morning.

Kim

Ugh, give me five to have a look.

Anna leaned her head back against the headboard of the bed. Why, why, why did I drink so much?

Anna was never any good the morning after drinking. Her hangovers were atrocious, which is why she rarely drank more than a glass of wine on the weekend. The night had been a lot of fun though, which almost made the pain worth it—almost.

Her phone dinged.

Kim

It shouldn’t be a long meeting. I have rearranged a couple of things. Did you read the details of the email?

Anna

Not really.

Kim

Didn’t think so. You will meet a photographer. Rupert Downes is commissioning a book of photography. The subject will be Paris. It’s an initial meeting to start the process, nothing too major.

Anna

Wonderful, just what I need on a Monday morning. A Parisian photographer.

Kim

They’re not all bad.

Anna

Really?

Kim

Okay, fine, probably another pretentious artiste, but it will be short.

Anna

I have very little choice in the matter. See you tomorrow and thank you for last night.

Kim

See you tomorrow and it was my pleasure.

Anna arrived at the office early. If she were going to have to suffer through this meeting, she needed to get some work done first. She hated starting her day disorganised, especially when she had done such a good job of preparing herself for the week ahead.

It was also an irritation when Marcus allowed his silent partner to push his agenda. John Spencer calling in a favour would be the only reason Marcus would be so insistent on a last-minute meeting and that Anna had to be the one to take it.

Kim arrived only fifteen minutes after Anna. “Morning,” she chirped as she leant on Anna’s door frame.

“It is indeed,” Anna replied moodily.

“Oh, you’re not still sulking, are you?” Kim tutted.

“Yes, I am,” Anna stated. She had every right to sulk.

“You have half an hour until the photographer arrives and I bet you have already crossed a lot off your to-do list.”

“That’s not the point,” Anna grumbled.

Kim gave a little chuckle. “Alright, I’ll let you sulk for another five minutes and then we power stand, okay?” It wasn’t really a question, but more of a soft order. Anna could agree with those terms.

Five minutes later, Kim slid into the room and cleared her throat. “Ready?” Anna nodded before standing. She brought her hands to her hips and stood tall like a superhero. Kim mirrored her actions. Kim had told Anna it was a proven way to make you feel in control and powerful, hence the reason it was called “The Superhero” pose.

The first time they had done it, Anna had felt ridiculous, but she had to admit it worked. Now, anytime Anna was sulking or felt as if she had no say in a matter, Kim would do the pose with her for five minutes. She really was the best assistant.

“And…time,” Kim called, smiling. Anna smiled back. The pose had worked its magic again, and she felt much better.

Kim gave her a knowing wink and headed to her desk. Anna stretched her body. She needed to loosen up. Not ready to settle behind her desk again, she turned and scanned through her books. It was soothing.

Kim popped her head in the door. “The photographer is early. Her name is Sam Chambers. Are you ready to see her?”

“Yes, let’s get it over with,” Anna replied, not even turning around to answer.

Sam Chambers doesn’t sound very French.

A few moments later, she heard someone clear their throat. Anna spun round to greet her guest and nearly fell over when she saw who was standing in front of her. Her perfect stranger—the woman from the station—wide-eyed and staring back at her.

Anna felt as though all the air in the room had been sucked out. She stood frozen to the spot as she tried to process what was happening.

This isn’t possible.

It had only been a couple of seconds at most, but Anna was becoming acutely aware she hadn’t said a word. She just stared. It was her perfect stranger—or as she now knew—Sam Chambers, who shattered the awkward silence first.

“I know you!” she blurted.

Anna sucked in some much-needed air before she passed out. “The station.” They were the only words she could form.

“The station,” Sam mirrored. “You were with that arsehole who pulled a hit-and-run on me.”

Anna could feel her face becoming red. She had completely forgotten about the incident. All she could recall was Sam’s beautiful face and that delicious dream.

“Oh my God, I am so sorry for that. James, my boyfriend…sorry, ex-boyfriend, was in a hideous mood that day. I am truly sorry you got the brunt of it, literally.” Anna hoped Sam could hear how horrid she felt about it.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Sam muttered, looking sheepish. Was Sam blushing?

It took a second to compose herself. She needed to get it together. She was a professional, after all.

“Sorry, I haven’t even introduced myself.” Taking a step towards Sam, she held out her hand for a shake.

“Right, yeah, sorry, I didn’t introduce myself either. I’m Sam Chambers.”

“Anna Holland.”

“That doesn’t sound like a very French name.”

Anna chuckled. “That’s because it isn’t. My parents are English, but I was born in France.”

“Sorry, that was rude, wasn’t it?”

“Not at all. I always get asked. Shall we take a seat so we can begin?” Her usual confidence had returned. “You want to create a book, so I am led to believe?”

“I don’t want to create a book. My employer does. Honestly, I didn’t know about it until yesterday.”

“Okay…your employer wants to create a book of your photographs. Is that correct?”

“Yes, I was commissioned a few weeks ago to capture the ‘true’ Paris for Rupert Downes. I’d never heard of him, but he’s some big shot, apparently.”

Anna had to smother a little laugh as she watched Sam’s face fall in horror at being a little too candid about her boss.

Anna hoped she could save Sam from feeling embarrassed by pushing forward with the conversation. “I will need to see all the photographs you want to put into the book. I think it’s a good idea if I contact Mr. Downes to find out what exactly he wants. Is that okay with you?”

“Absolutely. I’m still in the process of picking them out. It’s going to take me a while to edit them all.”

“That’s fine. I would like to see any photos you have already, though. It doesn’t matter if they aren’t edited. I just need to get a feel for your work so we can get a better idea of the style of book we want to create, and I want to make sure they are in line with what Mr. Downes wants.”

“Sure. I can do that. How do you want to view them? I don’t feel comfortable sending them. I would prefer to either come here with the originals or for you to come to me.”

God, I would love to come for you!

Anna mentally slapped herself. This wasn’t the time for her horny adolescent alter ego to pay a visit.

“Kim will give you my details. We can arrange something when you are ready.”

“Sure, I’ll call you.” Sam stood to leave.

“Anytime,” Anna called after her with a raised eyebrow. Anna was flirting—well, trying to at least. She hoped Sam had caught on to it. She saw a grin form on Sam’s face before she left.

“Bon sang ,” Anna muttered. She let out a steady breath. A nervous energy was dancing on her skin.

“What are you smiling about?” Kim pulled Anna’s attention back to her office.

“Nothing…it was a good meeting, that’s all. Nice and short.”

Kim took a step into the room, closing the door behind her, gracefully sitting in the chair Sam had used, and resting her diary on her lap. She looked at Anna and waited. “Really? That’s all you’re going to say?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know I can see into your office, right?” Kim grinned.

“And?”

“So you know I saw your face when you turned around to greet Ms. Chambers.”

“There was nothing wrong with my face.”

Kim scoffed. “Anna?”

No more hiding; Anna had promised herself. “Fine… I sort of already met her…well, not met her, but saw her at the train station in London.”

“That doesn’t explain why you went ghostly white and then blushed furiously. I don’t react like that when I’ve seen someone before in a public space,” Kim smirked.

Anna chewed her lip for a minute. Could she really tell Kim about the dream? Wouldn’t she seem completely crazy?

“Okay, but it’s not going to make any sense.”

“Try me.”

“The night before I went to England with James, I had a dream. I had…I had a sex dream and Sam was the woman in it.”

Kim looked confused. “So you have met her before then, I mean, before the day in the station?”

“No, not at all.”

“You must have. I read an article once that said our brains can’t create faces in dreams if we have never seen them before. So, at some point, you must have come across her.”

Anna was the one looking confused now. She racked her brain, thinking of any instance when she may have encountered Sam.

“Are you sure that’s accurate?” She couldn’t for the life of her think where she had met Sam anywhere before, prior to the station.

“Google it.”

Anna did just that; she googled and read. Kim was right. It wasn’t possible for her to have created Sam in her dream. What did that mean? Surely it meant only one thing: Sam Chambers had been in Anna’s life at some point, and Anna was determined to find out when.

Anna found no evidence she knew Sam previously. She’d spent most of her day searching through her personal stash of records she kept for most of her past projects. She also scoured through her extensive list of contacts, hoping someone would jog her memory. No luck. Sam Chambers was a mystery—a sexy, beautiful mystery.

Anna’s mood soured over the course of the next few days. Work was piling up, but she couldn’t seem to focus on it. She’d also got snappy with people, and it was not something she was proud of. After years of bottling up her emotions, snapping had become her go-to method of venting her frustration.

After Anna had taken a verbal swipe at Kim for not bringing her a client file quick enough, she knew she had pushed it too far. Kim stood in her office, arms folded and anger searing across her face.

“That’s enough, Anna,” she barked. “What is the matter? I know it’s not me. Your mood is atrocious.”

Anna momentarily thought about reprimanding her assistant until she checked herself. Kim was not the problem; it was Anna who had been the worst recently. She dropped her head in defeat. “I’m so sorry, Kim. You certainly didn’t deserve the way I spoke to you,” she sighed.

“No, I did not, and neither has anyone else in the office.” Kim took a seat opposite her forlorn boss.

“I can’t concentrate on anything. It’s ridiculous. Every time I try to work, my brain focuses entirely on Sam Chambers.”

Kim studied Anna’s face for a few seconds. “It’s been a couple of days since the meeting. Why don’t you call her and set up an appointment to look at some photos? Then maybe, oh, I don’t know, talk to her—ask her if she remembers you.”

“She’s going to think I’m a raving lunatic if I tell her about the dream,” Anna blurted.

“I didn’t say you had to tell her about the bloody sex dream, doll. I said talk to her…get to know her. Maybe she will be able to fill in the blanks?” Anna didn’t look convinced. “Can I ask why this is such a big deal? Why do you need to know?”

“I’m not sure. I just need to know. I find it incredible how I had this dream, then saw her at the station, and now I’m working with her. What would you think if you were in my position?”

“Honestly…no idea. I must admit, the situation is intriguing.”

“And entirely frustrating.” Kim looked about to ask something, but obviously thought better of it. “What?”

Kim hesitated. “Well, is it at all possible you are just super attracted to her, which is why you’re being a tad obsessive over the details of where you know her from?”

“Well, of course I’m attracted to her. I had a sex dream about her, for Christ’s sake.” Anna had blurted that a little louder than expected. Her face started burning as she noticed a few colleagues peer over in her direction. They had obviously heard her outburst.

Kim bit down on her lip, trying to suppress a laugh. “Anna, relax, no one cares. Call her, set up a meeting, and take it from there. Okay?”

Anna pinched the bridge of her nose before giving Kim a quick nod. “Can you get me her contact info?”

“Right away, boss,” Kim winked before heading to her desk.

Kim was back in a flash with a sticky note containing Sam’s number. Anna cleared her throat, pulled back her shoulders, and rolled her neck; anyone would have thought she was preparing for a fight, not a simple phone call to arrange a meeting. It felt bigger than that, though. Anna was wildly attracted to this woman, and she desperately wanted to unravel the mystery of Sam Chambers.

The phone rang for several seconds before the recognisable blip of the call connecting.

“Hello?” came Sam’s delicious voice. Anna internally rolled her eyes at herself.

“Ms Chambers, it’s Anna Holland from Tower Publishing .”

“Oh, hi.”

“Thank you for taking my call. I was hoping we could set up a meeting to look at some of your work?” Anna used her best “look how professional I am” voice.

“Sure, although, as I said, I’m a long way from being done.”

“No problem. A few pictures would really help me understand the direction I need to take.”

“Great, okay… Where do you want me—my place or yours?”

Anna audibly took in a sharp breath; her mind had steamrolled into a vision of Sam in her bedroom.

“Sorry, that sounded… Never mind. Anyway, what I meant was your office or mine?”

Anna could feel Sam blush over the phone. Maybe it matched her own.

“I can come to you. Would this evening work? What is the latest time to arrive? I don’t want to keep you at work longer than necessary.”

“Tonight’s great. Honestly, anytime that suits you, I’m here late every evening. If you send me a message when you arrive, I’ll meet you out front.”

“Wonderful…let’s say seven o’clock, then?”

“Great, see you later.”

“Bye,” Anna said softly, as if she were talking to a lover. She pressed the end button before banging the phone against her head. Why in God’s name did she say “Bye” like that? All soft and breathy… Sam was going to think she was unhinged at this rate.

Anna set off towards the Métro, her route planned. It would take her a good half hour to get to the address listed on her phone. The time would give Anna a chance to calm herself down.

After the relatively quick chat with Sam and her embarrassing “Bye” when they had finished, Anna knew she had to get into the right frame of mind to work on the book.

Regardless of the mystery that was Sam—or Anna’s attraction to her—she had to do her job. Somehow, Anna needed to separate the book from the mystery.

Tonight’s meeting was about the book—all business. Anna decided she would “feel out” the situation before she made a move to get to know Sam on a personal level.

Whilst these thoughts were ruminating, Anna had chuckled at the absurdity of it all. It had only been a few weeks ago she had been in a relationship with James, travelled to England, broken it off with James, moved herself to a posh apartment, and then come out to her entire family. Anna clearly didn’t do things by half.

A quick glance at her phone signalled it was already seven. She was going to be late. Anna picked up her pace. She was only a few hundred metres away, but she detested being tardy.

In the distance, she could see Sam leant up against the railings just outside the building. Sam had a smile stretched across her face. It seemed to go from ear to ear and Anna couldn’t help but mirror it.

“Glad you made it.” Sam wore a lazy grin. Merde , this was going to be a difficult meeting. All Anna could think about was grabbing Sam by her white button-down shirt and kissing her into oblivion.

“I’m very sorry I’m late.”

“You’re bang on time.”

“I usually like to get to meetings a little earlier,” Anna explained.

“Oh, well, no need to do that on my account.” Sam grinned again.

Did Sam have any idea what that grin was doing to her? Anna could stand there all evening looking at this woman. She was charming without realising it and just downright gorgeous.

Hoping Sam hadn’t caught on that she’d been staring for one too many seconds, Anna gestured to the building they were in front of. “Shall we?”

“Yeah… Let’s do it.” Sam pushed herself off the rail and headed to the main entrance.

Anna followed Sam inside, which turned out to be a very impressive space. Everything seemed new and top-of-the-line. They climbed some stairs and headed to the end of the corridor. Sam pushed on a large wooden door to reveal the most sophisticated editing suite Anna had ever seen.

“Impressive, right?” Sam shoved her hands in her pockets and slowly circled the room, allowing Anna time to take it in.

“Very!” Anna nodded.

“I was pretty blown away the first time I saw it, too. The suites at Bright Lights —that’s the company I work for in England—are good, but not at this level.”

Anna watched Sam tuck herself behind a desk farthest away from the door. It had long windows behind it and Anna could envision Sam editing away before swivelling round to take in the city. “Excellent view,” Anna commented, looking out onto the street.

“Exactly why I grabbed this desk,” Sam chuckled. “So, I have a few shots for you, but keep in mind they are the raw file, so no editing.”

Anna nodded and gestured to the chair next to Sam, silently asking if she could sit.

“Get comfy.” Sam clicked away on the computer, loading up her pictures. Anna slid into the chair, subtly trying to roll it away from Sam. She didn’t need to be sitting on her knee. It was already hard enough to concentrate.

Sam pulled up the photos and leaned back. They were beautiful. Sam had captured something so raw; so unapologetically truthful. “These are wonderful,” Anna whispered as she continued to be transfixed by the images.

“Oh…uh…thanks,” Sam mumbled.

“I can already see the book in my mind. I know exactly how to proceed. Your photos are exactly what Mr. Downes was looking for. We had a brief phone conversation after our meeting. He wants a book that isn’t just the usual book for tourists.” Anna was confident Sam’s work would speak for itself. She wouldn’t need to fluff it out or use the design to strengthen it. The photographs were going to be more than enough.

Anna sat back. She looked at Sam and saw she had blushed. “You are very talented.” Sam’s blush deepened.

“Thanks,” Sam replied with a weak smile.

Anna could see Sam wasn’t used to her work being complimented—or, more likely, Sam felt uncomfortable receiving compliments in general—which seemed utterly absurd. Not wanting to make Sam feel uncomfortable, she changed the subject.

“How did you end up working here?” Okay, not strictly within her guidelines of a business-only meeting, but she genuinely wanted to learn more.

Anna watched as Sam straightened herself, as though a wave of confidence had suddenly rolled over her. She swivelled slightly so she was fully facing Anna. Her eyes had a twinkle in them that almost took Anna’s breath away. “How about I take you out for a drink, and I’ll answer all of your questions?”

Anna’s heartbeat picked up; she could feel it in her ears. Sam was flirting, no doubt about it. Business meeting or not, Anna’s body had decided for her. She rolled back her chair and stood up. “Let’s go!” She turned on her heel and headed to the door. She hoped Sam would see it as a sexy power move, but in reality, Anna just needed to hide her Cheshire Cat smile.

Anna was going for a drink with her perfect stranger.

Thirteen

W ell, this was an interesting turn of events. Sam never would have thought she’d have the ovaries to invite Anna for a drink. Not after their first meeting. Sam thought she’d handled the meeting pretty well, considering the shock of seeing Anna standing in front of her.

She wasn’t entirely sure why it had affected her so much. Sure, she’d noticed Anna at St. Pancras, but it had only been a passing glance and nothing more. She had noticed in those few seconds that Anna was a beautiful woman, of course, but just that didn’t explain why she felt so shocked to be seeing her again.

There was the instance when she thought she had also seen Anna looking through her window when Charlie had visited, but Sam had quickly written that off because she hadn’t got a clear look at the figure across the street at all. She’d put it down to wishful thinking.

After the meeting, Sam had left Tower Publishing with her heart racing. Having the chance to spend more time with Anna was exciting. Sam could feel a pull toward the beautiful woman and she wanted to learn more, especially since she’d discovered rather quickly the asshat she had been with at the station was now her ex.

It had been a while since Sam tapped into her gaydar. Back in the good old days of her youth, she was known for having an incredibly accurate gaydar. So much so, her uni mates often put wagers on Sam guessing correctly. Sam wasn’t happy they’d made a game out of people’s identities; she didn’t feel comfortable sticking labels on anyone.

Sam had thought about Anna’s possible sexual orientation as she’d travelled back to work. There were definite vibes between them, although it’d been a while since Sam had any serious game, so she could be way off base. Her gut feeling said Anna was interested.

Normally, Sam’s immediate response after an unexpected meeting like that would be to call Charlie and ask her what to do. This time, though, she felt like it was her chance to take the reins back, be an adult, especially now she was feeling some of her old self again. She would wait until she’d met with Anna again before spilling all the details to Charlie.

Sam checked her phone several times after she’d left the meeting, hoping Anna would call to set up another time to see each other. She had to be patient and not get ahead of herself. She had a job to do, and that had to take priority. She couldn’t afford to let another woman side-track her. Sam swore she would never lose herself to another person ever again.

The next few days were spent with her nose to the grindstone, making some real headway by the time she’d received the call from Anna to ask if they could meet.

After they’d disconnected, Sam had a flutter in her stomach—the telltale sign of her romantic feelings pushing through her resolve to focus solely on her work. She’d clock-watched the entire afternoon, counting down the minutes until she could meet her special guest.

Anna had been bang on time, even though she thought she was rude for not arriving early. Sam found that amusing and made a little mental note: Anna was a time-sensitive person. It was good to remember the little details when getting to know someone, especially if you wanted to see more of them. It became clear to Sam after a few minutes of talking to Anna, she definitely wanted to spend more time with her, and that was why she’d asked Anna for a drink.

Sam watched as Anna strode towards the door after accepting her invitation. She couldn’t help it. The pencil skirt Anna was wearing hugged her deliciously and her legs were indescribably sexy, long, and toned. Sam checked to make sure she wasn’t dribbling before snapping herself out of her fantasy-filled head and pursuing Anna out the door.

“Anywhere, in particular, you want to go?”

“Honestly, no. I don’t know the area. I only see the offices most days.”

“Well, let’s just walk and see what we find. This is Paris, after all. There is a café or restaurant every twenty metres.” Anna smiled sweetly, and all Sam could do was stare at those perfect lips.

“Great idea,” Sam grinned once she’d managed to tear her eyes away from Anna’s face.

Anna strolled down the street with Sam trailing half a step behind. They remained silent for a little while. Sam didn’t feel it was awkward. She understood they were both just getting their footing.

Anna eventually broke the silence. “How are you finding Paris?”

“So far, so good. Thankfully, Seb, a guy I work with, took me under his wing early on. He is an incredible tour guide. He’s the reason I could crack on with the project so quickly. I did a bit of sightseeing for myself last week when my friend visited, but apart from that, it’s been a routine of travelling from my apartment to work and vice versa.”

“How long have you been here?”

“A couple of weeks. In fact, the day we saw each other in the station was the day I was coming here to start work.” Sam eyed Anna as she spoke. “Where were you going, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Oh, I was there to attend James’s sister’s wedding.”

“Was it nice?” Sam was trying to keep the conversation flowing, hoping she could get Anna to spill some details about herself without thinking she was trying too hard.

“I hope it was. I never got as far as the ceremony. James and I broke up just before.”

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“I didn’t have to answer, so it’s not your fault. I didn’t think you were being nosy.”

“Okay…good. And I am sorry about your breakup. That can’t have been fun.”

“No, but it was necessary. It should have happened a while ago,” Anna sighed.

A few more moments of silence passed between them again. Sam hoped she hadn’t made Anna feel sad. She didn’t want that to be the tone of the evening. Sam pointed across the road. “There’s a bar over there.” It wasn’t big, but it seemed to attract plenty of people.

“Excellent. I knew we wouldn’t struggle to find somewhere,” Anna smiled.

They crossed the street and sat at one of the vacant tables outside. Sam picked up the menu, pretending to be in deep thought about her choice of drink. She needed a second to steady herself. The fluttering feeling had returned with a vengeance. Anna sat close to her and Sam could practically breathe her in. Almonds and cherries.

Interesting.

The waiter zipped over, ready to take their order. Anna took a Mojito from the cocktail list. Sam usually drank lager, but tonight she wanted to try something a little different. Her go-to drink in uni had been rum and coke. It had been years since she’d drank it, so she opted for a spiced variety and ordered a double Captain Morgan with Diet Coke.

“Do you have cocktails often?” It was a good talking point. Maybe Sam could find out a few likes and dislikes.

“Actually, no. Normally I stick with wine, but I fancied a change.”

“Me too. I’m usually a beer drinker, but I used to love a good rum and coke.”

“If you loved it, then why did you stop drinking it?”

She was forward—straight to the point. Sam liked that in a woman. “Not sure, really,” Sam lied.

She had stopped drinking it because Jo had complained every time she’d ordered it. Jo had said she was ordering something complicated, and it always took longer for them to receive their drinks. It was a crock of shit, but after a while, Sam had started ordering a bottle of lager just to keep the peace.

“Well, I’m happy you are having a drink you enjoy now.” Anna smiled again and Sam could get used to seeing that smile.

The waiter delivered their drinks after a couple of minutes. “Will you ladies be eating tonight?”

Sam and Anna shared a look, both of them unsure what the other was thinking. Sam hadn’t planned to ask Anna for a drink, let alone a meal, but the chance was being presented to her on a silver platter.

“I haven’t eaten yet, have you?” Sam asked.

“No, I haven’t.”

“Want to have dinner with me then?”

“I’d love to,” Anna beamed.

Sam watched Anna as she conversed in rapid French with the waiter. She presumed Anna had confirmed they were staying for food. After a few seconds, Anna drew her attention back to Sam. “We need to follow him inside to a table.”

Sam nodded and followed close behind Anna into the restaurant. Inside, there were a few small tables, all softly lit by dainty candles. It reminded Sam of the restaurant she’d been to with Hélène—meaning it looked super romantic. Sam swallowed hard. If Anna was having the same thoughts as Sam, she wasn’t showing it. Maybe Sam was just being oversensitive. Maybe all French restaurants were like this?

They were seated at the back of the restaurant. “This is nice.”

Jeez, Sam, you’re really killing it with your conversational skills, aren’t you?

“It’s quite romantic.” Anna was looking around the room. Sam felt a slight panic. She didn’t want Anna to think she had an agenda for the evening.

“We can go somewhere else if you’d like?”

Anna’s eyes shot to hers with what could only be described as glaring disappointment. “Do you want to go?”

“No! I just didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

“Why would I be uncomfortable?”

“Well… You thought it was too romantic.”

“I didn’t say too romantic. I just said romantic,” Anna blushed.

“Oh…right, so you’re okay with it being romantic, then?” Sam queried. She internally gut-punched herself for sounding like a love-sick teenager.

“I don’t mind at all.” Anna dropped her eyes to the menu on the table. Sam felt the smile on her face grow wide.

Sam looked directly at Anna. “That makes two of us, then.”

Anna lifted her gaze back to Sam, her eyes darker. That was all the confirmation Sam needed. There was no way on earth Anna didn’t know what was happening between them. They each took several sips of their drinks, all the time keeping eye contact.

They were interrupted by the waiter, who asked if they were ready to order. They weren’t. They’d been too busy sussing each other out, neither of them had paid attention to the food on offer. Anna spoke rapidly to the waiter again. He smiled and left.

“I asked him to give us a few minutes.”

“Great.” Sam perused the menu—which had been translated to English on the back, thank Christ.

“Any idea what you are going to have?” The burger options looked pretty good. Sam wondered what Anna would go for. Was she a salad kind of woman? It was more than possible with her figure.

“I’m having the Burger Royale,” Anna added before Sam could answer.

Not a salad girl, then.

“I’m going to have the Chicken Supreme.”

“I hesitated between that and the Royale,” Anna commented as she continued to look at all the different options.

“I’ll tell you what. You get the Royale, I’ll get the Supreme, and we can share.”

“Sharing food, that’s interesting.”

“Interesting, how?”

“Few people like to share food in my experience.”

“Well, I think it depends on the person you’re sharing with.”

Their eyes were locked on each other again. Sam saw Anna briefly drop her gaze to Sam’s lips before speaking. “Indeed,” Anna whispered.

Christ on a bike… Sam was in trouble.

They ordered their burgers and made easy small talk. Anna politely excused herself to the bathroom, giving Sam a little time to check-in with herself.

The evening was shaping up to being a very similar situation to the one she found herself in with Hélène on her first evening in Paris. Sam already knew she didn’t want this night to be like that. She didn’t want it to be a one-night stand where they barely knew each other.

Sam didn’t regret her short fling with Hélène. Their night together had given her a confidence boost, taking her out of her comfort zone in which she had hidden for far too long. It was different with Anna, though. Sam felt drawn to her, but not just physically. It felt like there was something much stronger pulling her towards Anna; something she couldn’t explain.

That thought gave Sam pause. It had only been a few days since she’d promised herself she wouldn’t get lost in another person. She hadn’t completely found her way back from the last time.

Being around Anna didn’t feel like it had when she was with Jo, but in reality, Sam had known Anna for a few days. She had spent a handful of hours in her company. Sam couldn’t be one-hundred percent sure Anna was safe for her—not yet.

So, Sam had no choice but to slow things down. It was better for everyone if they took their time. She had to stop getting ahead of herself. There had been some minor flirting, but Sam couldn’t let it escalate, not just yet. Hopefully, Anna would want to have a few more dinners or drinks with her. They could do the old-fashioned thing of actually dating.

Sam needed to find out where Anna stood in all this. It was all well and good, Sam coming up with a list of dos and don’ts, but she couldn’t make that decision for Anna too. Sam thought of how she was going to handle the situation. She had always prided herself on open honesty with people. That was how Sandy had raised her.

Sam watched Anna return to the table. My God, she’s stunning . She quickly drew her lips to her glass to stop her mouth from falling to the floor. It was time to take the bull by the horns.

“So, how bizarre is it we saw each other in St. Pancras?” Sam chuckled. She was going for light-hearted.

“Very. It certainly took me by surprise when you walked into my office.” Anna nibbled her lip as if she wanted to say something more.

“Something on your mind?”

“Well…it’s a little stranger for me than you think,” Anna began, “I think if I say what is actually on my mind, you will think I’m slightly bizarre.”

“Oh, well, now you have to tell me,” Sam chuckled, again trying to keep it light.

“I’m not sure I’m ready to tell you. Maybe the next time.”

“You want there to be a next time?”

“Of course… I mean, we have to have several more meetings for the book.”

Okay, this was the part where Sam needed some clarification because she hadn’t been hallucinating. Anna had been flirting, but if that was all it was and she wanted to keep it strictly about the book, Sam needed to know.

“Can I ask you something? It might make you uncomfortable if I’ve read the situation wrong.”

“Of course.”

“Is this strictly business for you?”

“What do you mean?”

“I can only speak for myself, but this evening has felt more like a date than a meeting.” Sam paused, trying to read Anna’s body language. The good thing was she hadn’t stood up and slung her drink in Sam’s face, so that was a bonus. Sam ploughed through, “I, personally, would like it to be a date. I’m attracted to you and would like to get to know you better outside of a business capacity.”

Anna shifted in her seat slightly. “That’s quite forward of you.”

“I hope you’re not upset. I prefer to be honest about things. I don’t like miscommunications,” Sam replied earnestly.

Anna gave her a small smile. “Yes, I would like this to be a date, too. However, in the name of honesty, you should know I only came out a couple of weeks ago. This is very new to me.”

Sam leaned over and rested her hand on Anna’s, which was sitting on the table. “Congratulations. There’s no pressure. I thought we could talk some more and get to know each other, that’s all.”

Anna released a breath she had been clearly holding since she’d made her confession. “That sounds perfect,” she beamed.

“Maybe I can get you to tell me what you were going to say earlier?” Sam retracted her hand. No need to make it awkward.

“Oh, no, that’s going to have to be for another time,” Anna winked.

“Okay, I can wait.”

The food had been delicious, and the company had been even better. Once they had finished their meal, they took themselves back to the little table outside to have their espresso. The night was clear and the stars were peeking through.

They’d spent several hours chatting about everything—well, almost everything. Sam had kept the whole Jo situation under wraps for now. Delving into past partners wasn’t a first-date topic. She’d done a decent job of deflecting questions about her previous relationship, giving only the bare minimum amount of information.

They’d chatted about their jobs and their families. Sam told Anna all about Charlie and her surprise promotion from John. Anna already knew John and explained the relationship between their two companies. It came as a shock there was another thing that linked them together.

They had flirted, but mildly. Sam didn’t want to come across as a smooth talker. She didn’t want Anna to get the wrong impression of her. To this day, it still made Sam uncomfortable to be referred to as a “Ladies’ Woman” or “Heartbreaker” or “Smooth Talker” or “Casanova.” It made her feel gross.

Once they finished their coffee, Sam proposed they walk a little. Paris was beautiful at night. They walked side by side, bumping shoulders now and then. Sam enjoyed the brief contact and the warmth Anna radiated. As time wore on, Sam realised Anna had a slight shiver running over her body. “You’re cold.” It wasn’t a question.

“A little.”

“I’ll call my driver.” Sam pulled out her phone and sent a message to Henry.

“A driver, wow, that’s impressive,” Anna smirked.

Sam grinned back. “That’s Rupert chucking his money away.”

“I can’t complain.” Anna bumped Sam’s shoulder again.

“He will be here in a few minutes.”

“Wonderful. It’s nice not to have to use the Métro at this time of night.” Anna toed the floor. Sam thought she seemed suddenly shy.

It was coming to the end of their first date. Usually, Sam would swoop in for a kiss, but not tonight. She wanted Anna to be fully in control of their physical closeness. However, she didn’t want Anna to have any misconception that she hadn’t enjoyed herself.

That being said, Sam leant in and gave her a light kiss on the cheek. “I’ve had a really lovely night, Anna.”

Anna leaned in, turning her head slightly. “Me too.”

Sam would have given her left kidney to plant one on those delicious lips right then, but she resisted. Instead, she smiled and retreated to a safe distance. Before they could say any more, their car pulled up. “It is an efficient service,” Anna chuckled.

“The best,” Sam laughed. She opened the door and waited for Anna to climb in the back.

Although Sam was reining it in tonight, she wasn’t a nun, so she didn’t feel too bad about following Anna’s backside with her eyes as she got into the car. Sam rolled her eyes at the sky.

Universe, give me strength .

Fourteen

A nna settled back in the car seat. It was a far cry from her usual mode of transport. Thank God for Sam and her very rich boss.

After securing her seat belt, she reeled off her apartment address. For some strange reason, the driver asked if she was sure that was the correct address. Sam was also giving her an indecipherable look.

Anna flicked her gaze from Sam to the driver a few times. “Is everything okay?”

After a beat, Sam looked at her driver and told him to drive to the address Anna had given him. “How long have you lived there?”

“I rented it when I returned from England. After James and I went our separate ways, I thought it better to have a break. I’ve extended my stay for a while because it’s wonderful. A big step up from the little apartment I shared with James.” She couldn’t shake the feeling something had changed between her and Sam since getting in the car.

Sam nodded and then turned to look out of her window. She was deep in thought. The silence made Anna uncomfortable. She just hoped Sam would tell her if she had done something wrong.

Following Sam’s lead, Anna turned to gaze at the scenery whipping past. It wasn’t too late in the evening, so there were still plenty of people sitting at outside cafés and restaurants, chatting with friends and loved ones.

Anna wished she could turn back time to when she had been sitting with Sam, laughing and chatting, getting to know each other. They were getting on so well. Anna had especially enjoyed the mild flirting and meaningful looks. That seemed to be a distant memory now as they sat in awkward silence.

The car pulled up to the kerb opposite her building. Anna turned to Sam, ready to say goodnight, but Sam had thanked her driver and was exiting the car. What the hell was going on? Surely, Sam didn’t think she was being invited up to her place—not after one date and not after Sam had assured her they would take it slow.

Puzzled, Anna climbed out of the car and shut the door. She stared at Sam, hoping to get an explanation as to what was happening.

Sam shoved her hands in her pockets and studied her feet. “Tonight was fun.”

“Yes, it was…but… I’m sorry if you misunderstood something. It’s just I’m not ready to invite you in.” Anna hoped Sam wouldn’t feel rejected.

“I wasn’t expecting an invitation. I’m going back to my place.”

“Right…okay then… I’ll call you soon.” Anna began walking backwards toward her building, her eyes still firmly on Sam.

“Yeah, I look forward to it.” Sam turned round to the building behind her. Anna stopped in the middle of the road.

What the hell is she doing?

“Night,” Sam called before yanking the door open and disappearing inside.

Anna stood rooted to the spot for several seconds. What is happening right now?

Finally regaining control of her body, she forced herself into her apartment building. Her mind was going a thousand miles a second. Just as she cracked open her door, she felt her phone buzz.

Sam

So, we’re neighbours as well;)

Anna regarded the text, her brow pinched tight as she finally understood Sam’s odd behaviour. Was it possible? Were they really neighbours? She closed the door softly behind her, still staring at her phone. She didn’t really know how to respond.

Sam seemed to be everywhere in her life. She was in her past and present. The big question was: Would Sam be a part of her future too?

Anna’s fingers hovered over the keyboard of her phone. She wanted to say something meaningful or even flirty, but words were failing her. A second buzz showed Sam had messaged again.

Sam

Go to your window.

Anna dropped her coat to the floor, along with her bag. Her pulse spiked. She was nervous all over again, and this time she knew why. If Sam lived in the apartment Anna thought she did, she knew she had already seen more of Sam than Sam realised.

The thought made her feel uneasy. It had been okay when she’d caught an eyeful of the naked torso across the street when the naked torso was just an anonymous woman, but if it turned out to be Sam, well, that was a different matter.

Anna drew herself to her full height before rounding the corner and heading to her window. Long opaque voile curtains hung down the full length of each windowpane and obscured the view. Anna could only see a dim light of the apartment directly across from her, but in that moment, she now knew who she would encounter when she opened the window and looked across the street.

She opened the window and stared at the person opposite her: Sam. They both stood silently for several seconds, simply looking at each other. Sam deposited her mobile into her back pocket before shoving her hands into her front pockets. Anna recognised it as one of Sam’s “tells” when she was nervous.

“Hi,” Sam breathed.

“Hello again.”

Sam shifted gently. “Neighbours, eh?”

Anna gave a little giggle. Sam was adorable when she was nervous. “It seems so.”

The sight of Sam was doing things to Anna—decadent things. Her breathing became faster as she raked her eyes over Sam’s gorgeous body. The air between them was charged. It wouldn’t surprise Anna if she saw sparks flying between them. That’s how electrified the moment felt. For whatever reason, she and Sam were being thrown together once again.

The last few weeks had been the biggest of Anna’s existence. She had taken charge of her life, no longer satisfied with settling. All she’d wanted was to live as her authentic self. It had been a long journey to get to where she was—a journey she thought she had done alone, but the realisation Sam had been there in some way or another, for each step, made Anna pause.

Why was she holding back? Why was she taking things slowly with a woman that was beautiful, interesting, and a constant presence in her life?

Goddamn it, she’d wanted Sam from the moment she’d seen her in that station. No, since she’d had that magnificent dream. If life was determined to throw Sam in her path, then why shouldn’t she embrace it—embrace Sam?

Her mind was made up. Sam would be hers tonight. Forget slow. Forget everything. Anna knew in her heart Sam was meant to be the one to show her the way. Anna fixed her gaze on Sam’s eyes—she wanted to make sure she had her full attention. Slowly, she brought her hands to her shirt. She slipped the first button free, followed by the second. Anna saw Sam’s eyes widen and her posture grow taller. She definitely had the Englishwoman’s attention now.

Her fingers worked swiftly until she reached the last button. Anna could feel Sam’s anticipation pulsing off her in waves. Gently, she pulled the shirt from her skirt and let it fall from her shoulders.

The cold air felt good on her skin. Anna was more than pleased she had worn her matching white lace lingerie set. Her nipples grew hard under the fabric. She took a beat before she turned her back to Sam. Drawing her hands up behind her; she unclasped her bra. Sam let out a gasp as her bra fell to the floor.

Anna turned her attention to the small zip at the back of her pencil skirt. Slowly, she lowered it. Before she got to the bottom, she turned her head and looked at Sam over her shoulder. Sam had stepped forward, right to the edge of her window. Anna could see her nostrils had flared and that Sam was beyond aroused. Anna was ready.

“I’m going to bed. Are you joining me?” Her pencil skirt fell to the floor, revealing her matching white lace thong.

Anna hadn’t even finished her sentence before she saw Sam make a beeline for the door. Smiling widely, she strolled over to her door and peered through the little spy hole. Sam must have sprinted the entire distance because Anna had only stood there a few moments before the door down the corridor that led to the building’s stairs was ripped open.

Taking a deep breath, Anna opened her door. It was a risk. A neighbour could walk out at any moment and see her in nothing but a lace thong; however, it was worth it when she saw Sam falter in her step. Anna’s heart felt like it would beat out of her chest. The pure desire coursing through her body stopped any doubt or anxiety from surfacing.

Sam barrelled towards her like a woman possessed. It made Anna feel proud she could elicit such a reaction in another person. She had never felt so powerful, or so sexy.

Anna braced herself for Sam’s body to collide with hers. She instinctively took a step back as Sam stepped over the threshold. Sam’s pupils were completely blown open. Only deep pools of black stared back at her.

Sam snaked her hand around Anna’s neck before pulling her close and crushing their lips together. Anna closed her eyes. It was ecstasy. She heard the door slam shut. Presumably, Sam had kicked it with her foot because the rest of her was firmly pressed against Anna.

She felt herself being guided backwards. Her back hit the wall with a soft thud. Electricity shot through every nerve in her body. Sam was warm, commanding, and strong.

Anna grazed her tongue along the bottom of Sam’s lip. She wasn’t asking permission, she just needed to taste. Sam welcomed Anna deep into her mouth. Sam’s hand gripped the back of Anna’s head firmly, their bodies moving in unison.

Suddenly, she felt Sam retreat. She opened her eyes and saw Sam panting, searching for breath. She was analysing Anna’s face. “Are you sure?” Her ragged breath proof of her want. Anna didn’t reply. She couldn’t form words. She didn’t want to talk, to think, to pick apart this moment. This moment was for them—for action, for want and desire, only.

Anna seized Sam’s face with her palms, nodded her consent, and drew in her lover. Sam needed no more convincing. She kissed her without hesitation. Anna moved them down the hall. They stopped and started as they made their way to the bedroom. Every second their lips were apart felt like a lifetime.

Anna wanted Sam all over her, caressing her very soul. She pushed Sam away slightly as her legs bumped the back of the bed. “You are wearing too much,” she gasped. She wanted—needed—to see Sam’s body; to see all of her.

Anna watched as Sam stripped off her clothes, letting each article fall to the floor without care. The sight almost took Anna’s breath clean away. Sam was beautiful. Her skin was creamy white with freckles dotted all over her body. Anna saw Sam’s muscles tensing as she tried to keep control of herself.

Even though she had an idea what Sam would look like under her clothes—from her dream and from the quick glance she’d had when Sam had nakedly dashed across her window—the reality of Sam was incomparable to her fantasy; she was sex…she was power…she was all woman.

Anna hooked her thumbs under the sides of her thong and gently slid it down until it pooled on the floor. She took a graceful step to the side, leaving her underwear next to her. She heard Sam take a breath and knew Sam couldn’t wait to touch her. “Take me,” Anna whispered.

Sam closed the gap between them. This time when their lips met, it wasn’t chaotic, it was slower; more controlled. Anna understood Sam wanted to take her time showing her all the wonders of sleeping with a woman.

Anna let Sam guide her down onto her bed. She watched as Sam took one last, long gaze over her body, then slowly lowered herself on top of her. The feeling of Sam’s skin on hers was astounding, and her body was practically humming with anticipation.

Sam was looking at her—looking deep within her—as she brought her thigh to rest in between Anna’s. “What do you want, Anna?” Sam’s lips hovered a few centimetres from her own.

“I want everything,” she breathed. No truer words had ever been said. Anna wanted everything Sam had to give. Her clit tightened as Sam rocked against her. Anna’s hips danced to the same tune as they found their rhythm. Anna couldn’t take her eyes off Sam. She saw every feeling that mirrored her own, play across Sam’s face.

Their breathing was laboured. Anna felt herself slipping into oblivion. Sam dropped her head to Anna’s shoulders, unable to focus as her own orgasm built, whilst Anna grabbed Sam’s hips and ground them down harder against her. She could feel Sam’s wetness coat her thigh.

“Oh… Oh, God, Anna,” Sam panted into her shoulder, her teeth grazing Anna’s skin.

Anna was ready to climax. She couldn’t hold on much longer. “Sam…I—” Anna was lost. Waves of pleasure overtook her. Her body tightened; her vision blurred. All she could do was hold on tightly to Sam as she rode out the orgasm that threatened to undo her completely.

Anna felt Sam shake, her body tensing. She felt the muscles of Sam’s body go rigid. Sam moaned into her hair as she came, long and hard. Their bodies fell limp, Sam lying half on Anna, their breathing erratic.

As cliché as it was to say, Anna had experienced nothing like it in her life. She felt as though she were floating outside her own body. The only thing reminding her she was, indeed, still on earth was the delicious weight of Sam draped over her.

Sam moved slightly. Anna shifted her head so she could look at her. It was difficult to decipher the look on Sam’s face. Anna hoped she wasn’t overthinking it, or worse…regretting it. Because, in Anna’s eyes, they had just shared something deep and emotional, far beyond sex.

She leaned in and claimed Sam’s lips. They weren’t finished; it was just the beginning for them both. Without hesitation, Anna took the lead this time, with Sam relinquishing control without question.

Anna often thought of what her first time with a woman might be like. Would she be good enough? Would she even know where to begin? All those questions vanished in an instant, because as she held Sam, as she kissed her and inhaled her, she couldn’t think of anything more natural. She knew what she wanted to do and how she wanted to do it.

Anna pushed herself up and over so she was lying on top. She broke away from Sam’s lips and travelled to her neck, kissing and tasting. Sam writhed beneath her, sounds of pleasure emanating from her mouth, her head pressed back into the bed. Anna slowly began her descent down Sam’s body. She took Sam’s nipple into her mouth, whilst her hand caressed the other, pinching and rolling until it was rock hard. Sam moved her hips, rocking and searching for purchase.

As she flicked her tongue back and forth, she felt her own nipples tighten. Everything she was doing to Sam was mirrored in her own body. She spent a few more moments worshipping Sam’s breasts until she couldn’t stand to wait any longer. She needed to taste Sam. She lowered herself further until her lips brushed the coarse hair at the V of Sam’s thighs. Anna gently ushered her legs open wide so she could see all Sam had to offer.

Anna took a second to take in Sam’s exquisite form. Sam was laid bare—vulnerable and wanting. Anna dipped her head in between Sam’s legs and kissed her gently on her clit. Sam jerked. She was sensitive to Anna’s touch. Slowly and lightly, Anna ran her tongue over the length of Sam’s wet folds. Anna could have come on the spot.

“Fuck!” Sam gasped.

Anna hummed in agreement. She swiped her tongue several more times before she took Sam completely into her mouth. Gently, she sucked on Sam’s clit. Sam was rocking harder and harder. Anna knew she’d found the spot Sam responded to the most. She continued to lick and suck, orbiting Sam’s clit with the tip of her tongue. Sam was becoming untethered as her hips writhed and lifted in pleasure.

“Please don’t stop,” Sam panted as she ran her fingers through Anna’s hair. “Oh…oh…oh, yes…yes, Anna… I’m coming.”

Anna planted her hands on Sam’s hips to keep her rooted down. Sam bucked and strained as another orgasm claimed her. She screamed, calling out Anna’s name. Her body shook like before, her muscles tensing. Anna watched in awe. This was all so unbelievably gorgeous. Sam was a goddess.

Anna looked up. Sam had her arm over her head, breathing rapidly. Her chest was red and a slight sheen of sweat covered her skin. Anna gave Sam’s pussy a quick kiss before she crawled up the bed to lie next to her lover.

Sam uncovered her eyes and turned to Anna. “I…I don’t have any words.” A laugh of disbelief escaped her as she spoke.

“That was magnificent,” Anna breathed. She felt as though she were coming down off the biggest high of her life.

“Are you okay?”

Anna couldn’t believe what had just happened but her face conveyed utter bliss. “I am more than okay,” she answered, kissing Sam once again. Sam responded by pulling Anna close to her body. They lay silently in each other’s arms, both processing what they’d just experienced.

“Would you like a drink?”

“Water, please.”

Anna untangled herself from Sam. She missed her warmth immediately. Her legs felt unsteady beneath her and she used the walls to help guide her to her kitchen. Taking two glasses, her hands trembled as she filled them with water. Leaning against the kitchen worktop, she chuckled to herself as she thought of everything that had transpired. She couldn’t be happier if she tried. Wow!

Anna took in a deep breath, allowing herself to check in with her body. Her thighs shook slightly, her skin tingled, and her clit felt wonderfully sated, although she could already feel herself aching to be touched again.

Pushing herself off the counter, she walked back to the bedroom. She stopped and leaned against the doorframe. Sam had crawled into the bed. She’d lifted one side of the quilt for Anna and was propped up on her elbow, waiting. Anna strode over and placed Sam’s water on the bedside table before rounding the bed and slipping under the covers. She propped herself up to mirror Sam.

“Can I stay?”

“I hoped you would.”

Sam beamed at her before leaning in and kissing her delicately. The feeling of Sam’s warm body pressed into hers was heavenly.

Anna had never been the type of person to cuddle—well, not until now. Sam nuzzled her nose into Anna’s neck, her arm pulling her in close as they settled.

For now, Anna was perfectly happy to just be held. It was the perfect way to end their night. Although Anna was sure that they would come together again before the sun came up.

Fifteen

T he soft glow of sunrise stirred Sam from her sleep. She shifted, feeling Anna’s soft skin on her lips. They had fallen asleep holding each other in the early hours of the morning. Sam couldn’t—and didn’t want to—repress the smile that formed on her face as she recalled the events of the evening before.

Sam had been taken aback when Anna had given the driver her address. She couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing. In fact, she thought maybe Anna was joking, being a little suggestive, but she realised that wasn’t the case. Not when Sam hadn’t mentioned where she lived, and also because the look on Anna’s face at the reactions of the driver and Sam, had been confusion and concern.

Sam hadn’t known what to say, and she realised Anna may have taken her quiet demeanour as a bad thing. She’d been in a state of shock, pure and simple. How could it be that one particular woman was all around her, all the time? The train station, work, and now was possibly her neighbour? Surely not.

As they had driven onto the street where it seemed both of their apartments were located, Sam wondered how she should approach the situation. Should she tell Anna they lived across from each other? No, Sam wanted to see Anna’s face when she figured out what was happening.

Sam had chuckled internally to herself when she saw the look on Anna’s face as they’d both exited the car. It was fun playing with her a little, which is why she’d said good night without providing Anna with an explanation and entered her building, leaving Anna looking even more bewildered.

Sam grinned like an idiot when she thought of the next part of her memory. Anna undressing at the window—undressing for her. They’d set boundaries earlier in the evening, both of them happy to take it slow. Anna had clearly changed her mind and Sam couldn’t have stopped herself even if she’d tried. Why would she try? They were adults and Sam was already aware Anna was the type of person who knew her own mind.

Sam had literally sprinted over to Anna’s apartment. She’d nearly tripped over her own feet when Anna swung the door open wearing only a lace thong, waiting for Sam to take her. In Sam’s head, Anna could have been wearing a bin bag and she would still have been the sexiest woman to walk the Earth.

They’d made love. There was no doubt about it because just saying they’d had sex in no way did the act justice. Sam remembered the feeling of Anna’s body the first time she held her close after she’d slammed the door and kissed her. Sam had felt a strange sensation wash over her. She’d remembered Anna’s body pulled into hers was a familiar sensation, as if she’d held her once before.

Sam took in a deep breath. She breathed in Anna, who still slept soundly next to her, and she felt completely at peace. They’d made love several times, falling asleep and then finding each other again in the night.

Sam had worried about asking to sleep over. She didn’t want to overstay her welcome, especially because it was Anna’s first time with a woman and it probably felt a little overwhelming. Anna may have needed some space, but Sam couldn’t help herself. She needed to stay as close to Anna for as long as she was allowed.

Sam lay still, holding Anna as she slept. Nothing could disturb them.

Bzzzzz Bzzzzz Bzzzzz

Sam lifted her head. Her phone sounded like a demented wasp buzzing around on the floor. Anna stirred and rolled over to the other side of the bed, in no rush to wake up. Sam smiled. She liked the fact she was learning new things about Anna; one being she obviously wasn’t a morning person…not if her grumbling at the noise being made was anything to go by.

Sam slipped out of bed and frantically searched the bedroom floor. Her clothes were everywhere. Finally, after a few moments, she located the source of the incessant buzzing and switched it off.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t the weekend, and Sam couldn’t cry off sick. She had too much work to do, and she didn’t want to take advantage of Hélène’s good nature. She had to go into the office.

Sam puffed out an irritated breath. The only thing she wanted to do today was make love to Anna. She would be quite happy if they never left the bed, ever again. She stood for a second, looking at Anna’s body splayed out across the bed like a starfish. Sam chuckled again.

So Anna’s a bed hog too.

Pulling on her rumpled clothes, she headed to the kitchen. The layout of the apartment was nearly identical to her own. She found the coffee and set the machine whirring. The smell was intoxicating. Her body felt tired and sore, but in the best way possible.

After a quick scout through the cupboards, Sam found what she was looking for: a brioche loaf, fresh from the day before. She set about cutting it up and toasting it. That was her favourite way to eat it, especially with jam smothered on top. A little more searching yielded a jar of strawberry jam and some butter. Perfect.

Sam carried the plate of brioche and a cup of fresh coffee into the bedroom. She rounded the bed to where Anna was and set everything on the bedside table. Sam hated having to wake her when she looked so peaceful, but she thought it best to avoid Anna oversleeping.

She gently shifted a mass of brown curls from Anna’s face, leaned down, and placed a kiss on her temple. Anna didn’t move a muscle, which made Sam smile. She could do this all day if needed. Another kiss, then another, until finally, she caught Anna smiling too.

“Bonjour .” Anna’s voice was husky from sleep.

“Hello, Sleeping Beauty.” Sam planted another kiss on her head.

“This is a wonderful way to be woken,” Anna smiled, rolling over and shifting herself into a sitting position. The sheet she was wrapped in fell to her waist. Sam sucked in a breath. She wasn’t sure how she was going to function properly, especially when all she wanted to do was reach out and take Anna’s breasts in her mouth again. Work be damned!

Sam reached for a T-shirt that was at the bottom of the bed and passed it to Anna. “Please cover up, I have to go to work, and if I look at those any longer, my boss is going to have to pry me out of here with a crowbar.”

Anna giggled. “Are you sure you don’t want a little longer with them?” Anna playfully lifted an eyebrow. “It seems my breasts are rather partial to you,” she grinned.

Sam moaned loudly before turning her back to Anna. “Dear Lord, give me strength.”

Anna laughed out loud, “Okay, okay… I’m decent.” Sam turned back to face her, visibly disappointed Anna had, indeed, covered up. “You can’t look at me with sad eyes now. You wanted this,” Anna smirked.

Sam enjoyed the back-and-forth playfulness. She sat herself down on the edge of the bed and passed Anna the plate of brioche. “I didn’t know how you like it. I hope this is okay?” She suddenly felt nervous. She wanted everything to be perfect.

Anna cupped her face and pulled her in for a kiss. It was supposed to be a “thank you” kiss, but quickly deepened. Sam could feel herself pushing Anna backwards to a lying down position. “I thought you had work,” Anna whispered against her lips.

“Christ. You’re dangerous to be close to.” Leaning in, she nipped Anna’s lip.

Anna smiled, her eyes sparkling. “You are just as dangerous for me.”

Sam was sure she was about to combust. “Eat your breakfast. I need to nip back to mine and shower. I’ll call you later… That’s if you want me to, of course.”

“I would be upset if you didn’t.” Anna bit into the brioche. A glob of jam dripped on her lip. Sam watched as Anna slowly licked it away. Sam looked from her lips to her eyes, noting Anna had mischief written all over her face.

“No…nope, you’re not getting me like that,” Sam laughed, tearing herself from the bed.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Anna replied innocently.

“Oh, yes, you do…being all seductive with your tongue.”

“Sam, I simply rid myself of some jam,” Anna teased.

Sam shook her head. “Uh-uh…nope, not falling for it,” Sam laughed. She needed to leave, but her body wasn’t cooperating. She stood rooted in the middle of the room.

Anna placed the plate back on the nightstand, shifted herself to her knees, and removed her T-shirt. Sam thought her heart might stop. “Are you sure you haven’t got five minutes to say a proper goodbye?”

Well, fuck my life. Sam pulled off her clothes and went to Anna. She was going to be a little late, after all.

Sam gave herself a pat on the back for arriving at work only ten minutes late. After she had given Anna a proper goodbye—twice —she’d moved like a bat out of hell to shower, change, and get to the office.

The editing suite was quiet, which Sam was grateful for. She needed to concentrate, although she wasn’t entirely sure concentrating was going to be possible after the past twenty-four hours. Her mind constantly strayed to Anna.

At one point, she had to physically shake herself as she tried desperately to shift her focus into work mode. Nothing worked. She was consumed with thoughts of Anna, thoughts of her body, and thoughts about everything she wanted to do to it.

Sam felt her underwear grow damp and her face flush. She hoped to God no one would come into the editing suite. She wasn’t sure she could explain why she was looking so flustered.

It seemed the universe heard her plea and laughed in her face, because thirty seconds later, Seb walked in and plonked himself down in the chair next to her. He wasn’t in there for social reasons because he quickly logged onto the computer and began editing.

A few moments later, he turned to Sam. “Are you okay? You are very red.”

“Yeah…yeah, totally fine, just running a little late.”

“Okay, good, take a breath. You are a little sweaty.”

Sam gave a weak smile. Of course she was sweaty. She was thinking of Anna, naked and writhing underneath her. Just for good measure, her clit chimed in on the action. Sam slammed her thighs together and clenched. She tried to conjure any image that would help calm her down. She could not —repeat, not —get herself off in the middle of the friggin’ office, especially not with Seb right there.

Finally, the universe cut her a break. Sam’s phone rang and she snatched it off the desk and quickly excused herself from the room. “Charlie,” she exclaimed, a little louder than needed.

“Sam!” Charlie belted back. “Why are you shouting my name?” she laughed. “You know I don’t see you in that way, although it’s been a while since anyone shouted my name so enthusiastically, so I’ll take it.”

“Gross,” Sam chuckled. “What’s up?”

“Nothing, just checking in. I’m allowed to do that, right?”

“Sorry, it’s been a little while, hasn’t it? I’ve been neck-deep in editing.”

“Glad to hear it. You feeling good about everything?”

Sam sighed. She had to talk to Charlie about Anna. She couldn’t hold it in. “I met someone,” she blurted.

“What do you mean…like you met someone, or you met someone?”

“I definitely met someone.”

“Who?” Charlie screamed in excitement before checking herself, “Sorry… I mean, who have you met, Samantha?”

Sam snorted, “Nice save.”

“I’m just so excited for you, mate.”

“Her name is Anna. She works at the publishing company that will create Rupert’s book.”

“Well, fuck a duck…you don’t mess around, do you?” Charlie laughed.

“It’s not as simple as that, though.”

“I’m intrigued,” Charlie replied in a quizzical tone. “Tell me more.”

“Do you remember me telling you about the woman I saw in St. Pancras?”

“Vaguely.”

“Well, it was Anna.”

“Anna?”

“Yes. The woman in the station turned out to be Anna. The person I saw in the window across from me when I was buck naked also turned out to be Anna. She’s my neighbour.” Sam waited for Charlie to realise how absurd it all sounded.

“Are you taking the piss?”

“No, I am not,” Sam replied seriously. “I walked into the meeting at the publishing house only to be met by Anna. We stood there dumbstruck because we recognised each other from the station. We had a meeting, and then a couple of days later we met here to look over a couple of photos because she needed to get a feel for the book. I then asked her out.

“This was yesterday, by the way. Anyway, we had dinner and it was great. We both decided we enjoyed each other’s company and would like to get to know each other better. Being the lady that I am, I gave her a ride back to her apartment. Low-and-be-fucking-hold, she lives in the apartment building opposite me.” Sam took a breath. She had reeled off all the information in one lungful of air.

“Char?”

“It’s fucking fate,” Charlie whispered. “Oh my God, Sammy, this is awesome. I have to tell Sandy; she’s going to freak.”

“Whoa, chill your beans, buddy. No one is telling my mother anything. I cannot handle an hour on the phone listening to her go on about fate and destiny. She will try to do a reading over the phone. You know she will.”

“But, Sam, this is insane… I mean, what are the odds of you guys meeting like this, having randomly seen each other from afar previously?”

“It’s mental, I get that, but please don’t tell Mum. Not until I know it’s going somewhere.”

“Right, yeah, of course. So, are you seeing her again? Do you want to jump her bones?” Charlie chuckled. Sam fell silent. The memory of Anna undressing filled her mind. “Oh. My. God!” Charlie bellowed. “You fucked her!”

“Stop shouting for Christ’s sake. I did not fuck her.”

“Oh, sorry, mate. You went silent, and I just assumed.”

“We made love.”

It was Charlie’s turn to fall quiet. Sam waited with bated breath. “Wow, that’s big news, Sammy. You doing okay?”

Sam smiled. She knew Charlie would understand the magnitude of what she had just said. Sam hadn’t made love to someone for a very long time. Charlie knew what it meant for Sam to give that part of herself to someone. “I’m doing great. She is wonderful, Charlie.”

“Did you know it was going to happen?”

“Not at all. We had discussed the idea of taking it slow. Anna has only recently come out and I didn’t want her to feel any pressure. We chatted for hours. It was great. When we got back to our apartments, we said goodnight and left each other.”

“So, how did you end up in bed after that?”

“I won’t go into details, Char, that’s for me to know. Let’s just say Anna changed her mind about the whole ‘taking it slow’ part and I was happy to go along for the ride.”

“Jesus.”

“I know. I ended up staying the night in her bed,” Sam sighed in contentment.

“You sound good, Sam.”

“I feel good. It’s really early days and I have a lot of work still to do on myself, but I can’t help feeling that Anna is important.” Sam heard Charlie sniff. “Char, are you crying?”

“No!”

“Charlie?”

“Okay, maybe a little. It’s just been so long since I heard you talk like this. You sound hopeful. I’m just happy for you.”

Sam smiled. “Thanks, Char.”

Charlie cleared her throat. “Right, enough of my blubbering. When are you seeing her again? Actually, the more important question is: When will I meet her?”

“We’ve only had one date. Calm down.”

“Don’t you tell me to calm down, missy! I want to meet the woman who’s swept my best mate off her feet.”

“I didn’t say she swept me off my feet.”

“You didn’t have to. I can read you like a book.” Sam rolled her eyes. “Don’t roll your eyes at me either,” Charlie added.

Sam bolted upright. “How did you know I rolled my eyes?”

“As I said—I know you.”

“Yeah, you do,” Sam admitted. “I’ll speak to her later, I hope.” Sam more than hoped. She hated the idea of not speaking to Anna soon.

“Keep me posted. Now, how’s work?”

They stayed on the line for a few more minutes whilst Sam filled her in on the project. They also chatted about Charlie’s work and how her new promotion was going. Before calling off, Sam promised to update Charlie on all things Anna-related.

Sam looked at her watch and realised how much time she’d spent talking to Charlie. She was seriously behind and had to knuckle down and get moving. The only thing keeping her in Paris, and close to Anna, was this project. The thought crashed down on her like a ton of bricks. What happened when the project was done and Sam had to head back to England?

Sam pushed the feeling down deep. This wasn’t the time for worrying. They would take it one step at a time.

Sam felt like her eyeballs were melting. She couldn’t look at her screen for a moment longer. She was happy, though. After she’d given herself a talking to, she had pushed through the day without a break in order to catch up. In fact, she’d done a lot more than she realised.

A few clicks on the computer confirmed she only had one folder left to sift through. She was more than happy with the photos she had chosen and was really excited to share them with Anna. Ah, Anna . Sam let her mind drift for a moment. Shit, she hadn’t called or texted Anna all day.

“Well done, dip shit,” she blurted.

Sam had been so determined to work, she had forgotten about the world around her, including Anna. She felt awful. Hopefully, Anna wouldn’t feel like Sam had ghosted her. She ground her teeth in frustration. There was nothing for it. She’d have to grovel. There was no way she was letting someone as wonderful as Anna feel used or forgotten. Sam whipped out her phone.

Sam

I’m so sorry I haven’t spoken to you today.

Sam sent the message and hoped Anna would reply quickly. Her heart soared as she saw the three little dots bouncing on her screen. Anna was replying.

Anna

I guessed you were busy. It’s okay. I know you have a lot of work to do.

Sam

Is it really cheesy to tell you I missed you?

Anna

Did you?

Sam

I really did.

Anna

Then it’s not cheesy ;)

Sam breathed a sigh of relief. She realised she’d been holding her breath in anticipation.

Sam

Can I see you tonight?

Anna

I have a guest over for dinner. Tomorrow evening?

Sam’s heart sank. She had to wait another 24 to see Anna.

Does she really have a guest or is she upset because I didn’t call or message all day?

Sam

Yeah, no problem. Let me know if you’re free :)

Anna

I just told you I’m free tomorrow.

Sam swallowed hard. She was trying to come across as ambivalent. “Idiot, she’s not Jo!” The words were out of her mouth before she knew it.

That’s why Sam was feeling anxious about Anna’s reply. It was an automatic response after being with someone like Jo for ten years. There was no way Jo would have reacted so well if Sam had forgotten to contact her all day. She would’ve been made to feel guilty, as if she were the worst partner in the world.

Sam took a breath. This was one area of her life that was going to be difficult to correct. Years of manipulation were hard to unpick. She had to remember Anna was not Jo. She was nothing like her.

Sam

Tomorrow would be great, 8 p.m. good?

Anna

I can’t wait.

Satisfied with how her day had begun and ended, Sam closed down her workstation. Maybe if she were lucky, she could sneak a peek at Anna from her apartment. They were neighbours, after all.

Sixteen

T here was nothing on the planet that was going to drag Anna away from her apartment. The most beautiful woman—who had given her several mind-blowing orgasms—had woken her up in the most beautiful way. She needed the day to process.

Anna

Bonjour, I am working from the apartment today. Could you come over when possible?

Kim

Yes, of course, I will be with you at lunch. Do you need anything?

Anna

No, I have my laptop.

Kim

I’ll grab us a sandwich and maybe a couple of chocolate eclairs ;)

Anna

A Bientôt.

When she’d finally let Sam go to work, after another two rounds of earth-shattering sex—no, not sex—something better, she’d finally dragged her tired body into the shower. She felt deliciously worn out. Her body was protesting with every movement, but Anna didn’t care. She revelled in it. Her aching was a reminder of the night she’d just spent with Sam. It had been everything she had hoped for.

Anna waited anxiously for Kim to show up. She was almost bursting out of her skin to spill the beans to her friend. The morning had dragged by. Trying to work had proven impossible, because the only goal she’d accomplished was tidying up her email inbox.

Not the most efficient way to pass the time, but her mind refused to entertain any thoughts at all, unless they were about Sam, Sam’s body, or Sam doing mouth-watering things to Anna. Several times, she had to physically shake her head to snap herself out of her fantasies.

Anna breathed a sigh of relief when the doorbell rang. She almost tripped over herself to answer it. Kim looked a little startled when the door flung open. Her eyes grew a little wider when Anna beamed at her wildly. “Thank god you’re here!” She pulled Kim through the door.

“Has something happened?”

Anna laughed manically. “Oh, Kim, you have no idea,” she grinned. “I will tell you everything, but first you need to know that from the moment you stepped in the door, you stopped being my assistant and I stopped being your boss. This is strictly friendship territory.”

“Excellent, I love it. Skiving off work to have a natter sounds delightful. Can we drink?”

“I opened a bottle of red earlier. It’s been breathing for long enough. Let’s drink and talk.”

“Eekkkee,” Kim squealed, clapping her hands in excitement. She almost skipped to the kitchen to retrieve the wine. In no time at all, Kim had returned to the living room with two full glasses. She put them on the coffee table and jumped onto the sofa, tucking her legs under her bum. Anyone would have thought she was settling down to watch a movie.

Anna took in a deep breath and prepared herself. “I had a meeting with Sam yesterday evening.”

Kim’s excitement dulled a little. “Yes, I know. You told me yesterday. That’s not new or exciting. I hope there is more to come?”

“There is,” Anna nodded reassuringly. She was enjoying the build-up. Kim looked like she was ready to explode.

“Well?” Kim was getting impatient.

“We had dinner afterwards.”

Kim had shifted forward in anticipation. “Aaannnnd?”

“I found out where she lives,” Anna grinned. Kim’s eyes grew wide with excitement, but she kept quiet, knowing Anna still had more to say. “Look out the window.” Kim frowned. Clearly that wasn’t where she thought the conversation was going, but she complied and looked out the window and across to the apartment building opposite.

Not entirely sure what she was looking for, she turned back to Anna, raising her eyebrows questioningly. “She lives there.” Anna pointed at Sam’s apartment, giggling as she watched Kim swivel her head from Anna over to Sam’s and back again, several times.

“She lives there? As in right there ?” Kim pointed.

“Yes, right there.”

Kim left the sofa and went to the window. Anna wondered if she were trying to spot Sam or any evidence of her through the window.

“She’s at work,” Anna chuckled.

Kim turned around with a raised eyebrow. “So, did you get to see inside?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Well, that’s a shame.”

“She got to see inside mine, though,” Anna smirked.

“Okay, before I get excited, is this story going to end the way I’m praying it ends?” Kim clasped her hands together excitedly.

Anna kept her face neutral. “What do you mean?”

“Anna,” Kim squealed, “did something happen between you, sexy-wise?”

Anna couldn’t keep her composure any longer. She smiled from ear to ear as she nodded. “It most certainly did.”

Kim exploded in cheers. “Tell me everything!”

Anna was laughing hard at her friend’s reaction. It made the whole thing so much better. She loved having a friend to share this monumental news with. Kim scrambled back to the sofa and took a healthy glug of her wine. Anna followed suit.

“How did it happen? How did she end up here? Did she ask to come up? Did she kiss you before coming up or when she was up here?”

“Kim, slow down,” Anna laughed. “Stop asking questions and I’ll tell you.”

“Right, sorry, you go.”

Anna adjusted herself in her seat. Kim waited like an excitable puppy. After another slug of wine, Anna launched into the story. She told Kim about their meal, the car ride back, the confusion of it all, and then the seduction.

“So, let me get this straight…so to speak. You stripped and bared all at that window whilst Sam watched?” Anna nodded. “Then she raced over here and you did the nasty all night?” More nodding. “And again this morning?”

“Twice,” Anna clarified.

Kim was subconsciously nodding her head with Anna as her mind worked through all the information. Suddenly, she burst from the sofa and launched herself at Anna. “Oh my God!” she screamed, hugging Anna within an inch of her life.

Anna laughed loudly. She returned the hug with as much force as she could.

Kim broke away. She took Anna by the shoulders and looked her in the eye, her face turning serious. “Are you okay? Did it go well?”

“Oh, Kim, it was… It was wonderful. We fit together completely…perfectly. Sam was everything I imagined she would be.”

Kim was smiling again. “And did she…you know…visit the South of France?”

It took Anna a second to catch on to Kim’s meaning. “Kim!” she barked playfully. “What kind of question is that?” she laughed.

“Well?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, she did visit the region.”

“And how was it?”

Anna puffed out a breath and fanned her face. “Oh, Mon Dieu , Kim, she is talented.”

“Put it there.” Kim thrust her hand in the air triumphantly, holding it up, waiting for Anna to give her a high five. Anna happily complied, with an added chuckle. She felt like a teenager experiencing her first crush.

“So you felt comfortable through it all?”

“Completely. There was no expectation. We just went with the flow and I have to say, the moment we touched, all the anxieties I had about…you know…about what to do, vanished. I may have visited the South of England a few times, too.”

Kim grabbed her shoulders again. She was visibly shaking with happiness for her friend. “Oh, Anna, I’m so happy for you.”

“I’m happy for me, too.”

“So I take it you’re seeing her again?”

“Considering she lives just there, yes, I’m sure I will.”

Kim rolled her eyes. “You know what I meant.”

“Yes, I do, sorry, it’s quite fun winding you up. I really want to see her again. I want to date her. She made me breakfast in bed, Kim.”

Their boozy lunch quickly turned into a boozy afternoon. It was the first time in her working life Anna had taken time off, without permission, to spend a personal afternoon with a friend. Kim didn’t worry too much about the fact she was skiving, considering she was doing it with “the boss”.

Now and then, Anna picked up her phone, hoping to see a message from Sam. It was becoming a bit of an obsession. A few times she checked, she caught Kim’s eye, making her blush. Anna had never been the type of person to become overbearing with a partner. Most of the time, it was her partner that vied for her attention and it had always been a source of irritation.

James had been the same in the beginning. Their relationship had started through friendship, but Anna remembered James was always the instigator. He had called Anna to arrange their first date and had been the one to follow up the next day.

James had been keen at the beginning, which made Anna feel bad now because she’d never shared his enthusiasm. She felt even worse, because now, she was getting a taste of her own medicine. It had been less than twenty-four hours and she was champing at the bit to talk to Sam again, hoping to arrange another date, or, even better, repeat the performance of the night before.

Talking to Kim was a temporary balm, but their conversation couldn’t keep Sam from flooding Anna’s mind, especially as she was well on her way to being drunk. They needed food to soak up some wine. The last thing Anna wanted was for Sam to call and she be inebriated.

Anna looked at the time and realised—disappointingly—Sam was probably going to be home late. She knew how much editing work Sam still had to do.

It had been difficult waiting all day to hear from her, but Anna knew she just had to be patient. She couldn’t expect Sam to drop everything for her, not after just one night, despite how gorgeously sexy and steamy that one night had been. They hadn’t even decided what was going to happen between them. Anna already knew she wanted more, but would Sam feel the same?

Her stomach knotted with worry. It was a natural reaction for her, but one that was desperately unwelcome. Just as she was feeling the panic rise in her chest, her phone chimed. It was Sam. Relief washed over her instantly, and Anna internally berated herself for getting worked up.

“I take it by your face Sam’s finally messaged?” Kim slurred.

“Yes, she wanted to know if I would see her tonight.”

“And will you?”

“I told her we are having dinner together and that I’m free tomorrow.”

“Why on earth did you do that?”

“I panicked,” Anna blurted. She had indeed panicked. She wanted nothing more than to see Sam. She’d been waiting all day just for a call or message, but for some reason Anna couldn’t fathom, her first instinct when Sam asked if they could meet was to back away.

“Panicked? What’s there to panic about? The woman had her head between your legs not too long ago. The time to be shy or panicked has well passed,” Kim laughed.

“I know… It’s silly. Before she messaged, I was getting myself into a bit of a state about what was happening between us. We hardly know each other and I’m sitting here pining. Maybe I should slow it down—really think about what it all means?” Anna was talking to herself more than Kim.

“Whoa… Chill out, doll. Honestly, I think this is the wine talking. Let’s have a coffee and some food and talk about it, okay?”

Anna nodded, “Good idea.”

They ordered pizza and drank copious amounts of water and coffee. It angered Anna how she’d been in a state of bliss since yesterday, yet now she was feeling anxious, letting her old insecurities get in her way.

“You feeling better?” Kim mumbled through a mouth full of pizza.

“Much, but could you save any more questions until you have stopped chewing your food?”

Kim laughed. “Sorry, boss.”

Anna took a few calming breaths. “I panicked because I like her. I like her a lot and I’m scared she won’t want the same.”

“Have you asked her?”

“Well, no, we did a negligible amount of talking last night…and this morning, as you know.”

“Yes, yes, you were too busy being taken to heaven repeatedly to stop and have a chat,” Kim chuckled. “You just have to talk to her. Maybe she doesn’t want the same as you, but then again, maybe she does. From what you have told me, she seems to appreciate honesty.”

“She is straightforward and she hates miscommunications. She told me that over dinner.”

“Well, then, that settles it. I’m going home. You’re going to message her and get her to come over and then you are going to talk. You will have your answer either way. Don’t let your insecurities ruin something before it’s even started, love.”

“When did you become so wise?” Anna grinned.

“I’ve always been wise. I’m amazing.”

Kim had hit the nail on the head. Anna just had to communicate. Granted, she and Sam didn’t know each other well, but they’d spent hours over dinner talking about their work and families. Anna knew there was a lot more to learn, but Sam wasn’t exactly a stranger. They had clicked. That was why Anna had felt confident enough to sleep with her.

This wasn’t the time for Anna to back off. It was her chance to seize something good. Her gut was telling her Sam was that something and now she had to bite the bullet and talk to her.

Anna grabbed her phone and typed. She felt Kim gently touch her arm. “I don’t think you need that,” Kim grinned, looking over Anna’s shoulder. She turned, following Kim’s gaze. Sam was home, standing by her window with a shy smile on her face. “Go get her, tiger,” Kim whispered before giving her a kiss on the cheek. Anna went to her window and gave Sam a little wave. “Hi.”

“Do you want to come over?”

“You have company.”

Anna looked towards where Kim had been sitting moments ago. She’d only just realised Kim had already bolted out the door, leaving her free to talk to Sam.

“Kim has gone home. I’m all alone.”

Sam smiled widely before turning and heading out of her apartment. Anna took a deep breath; it was going to take all her willpower not to pounce on Sam the minute she was in reach.

“Just talk to her,” Anna muttered, gearing herself up for whatever Sam had to say.

She heard a light tapping on the door. Sam must have sprinted again, which caused Anna to chuckle. It felt good to know Sam seemed just as eager as she was.

“Hi, come in.” Anna stepped aside to let Sam pass. She almost wished Sam would take her like she had done last night, but it wasn’t to be. Sam passed by and headed to the living room, her hands in her back pockets.

So, she’s nervous too.

“How was your day?” Sam hovered next to the sofa.

“It was good. I worked from the apartment.” Anna left out the part where she couldn’t work because all she’d done was fantasise about Sam. She also omitted the fact she had spent the afternoon gossiping like a schoolgirl to her friend, about their night of lovemaking.

Sam was looking everywhere but at Anna, her face flushed. “How was your day?” Anna hoped Sam wasn’t about to freak out or tell her last night had been a mistake.

“Honestly…I had to give myself a verbal smack down to get anything done. All I could think about was you.”

Anna felt a gasp escape her lips. “Really?”

Sam nodded. “Really.”

In an instant, Sam was upon Anna, thrusting her hands into her hair, pulling her into a scorching kiss. Anna thought her legs were going to give way. Talking could wait.

Wrapping her arms around Sam’s neck, she clung to her. She wanted to be as close as humanly possible to this woman.

Sam let her arms travel down Anna’s back, grabbing her arse. In one fluid motion, Sam scooped Anna’s legs up, wrapping them around her waist. They kissed deeply as Sam carried her over to the table by the window.

Anna was gently lowered down. She was aching for Sam. Her clit throbbed, as she waited to be touched. She felt Sam slide her hands from her bum to the front of her jeans, quickly releasing the button and lowering the zip. They hadn’t said a word, being completely lost in each other.

Their lips had parted briefly, only to suck in some well-needed air. Anna braced her legs around Sam’s waist and let her hands drop to the table so she could lift herself, which let Sam slide her jeans and underwear off. Anna couldn’t wait any longer. “I need your fingers…now,” Anna panted.

She felt Sam’s hand tracing along her inner thigh. She was being teased. Sam ripped her mouth away from Anna’s lips and hungrily kissed her neck as she brought her hand to Anna’s centre, slicking her fingers. Anna felt herself being filled with Sam’s fingers. She threw her head back, allowing herself to feel everything: every sensation, every thrust of Sam’s hand. Anna moved her hips in time with Sam’s fingers. She wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer. “I’m going to come,” she gasped.

“Come for me, baby,” Sam whispered in her ear.

Anna felt herself tighten. Her orgasm began ripping through her body. “Oh God…oh God, Sam,” she moaned.

“That’s it, let go.”

“Sam… Oh God, oh God, yes. Yeeesssss,” Anna screamed before her body went limp, falling forward into Sam.

They stayed clamped together as Anna came down. It took several minutes for her breathing to stabilise. “Are you okay?” Anna nodded her head, which rested on Sam’s shoulder. She couldn’t form words. “Are you sure?”

Anna finally pulled herself up and looked into Sam’s eyes. There were no words—nothing could describe what she had just felt. Anna continued to look into Sam’s eyes, hoping she could convey everything in one look.

Slowly, Anna pushed herself off the table so she stood in front of Sam, who said nothing. Anna effortlessly turned them so Sam was pressed up against the edge of the table. Swiftly, she unfastened Sam’s trousers and slid them down her legs along with her underwear, never once breaking eye contact.

Dropping to her knees, Anna reached for Sam’s right leg, gently lifting it so her knee draped over her left shoulder. She placed both hands on Sam’s arse and pulled her fully into her mouth. Anna was ravenous, and she was going to feast on Sam.

Bracing herself, Sam grabbed the edge of the table, her eyes boring into Anna as she was devoured repeatedly. She felt Sam’s body tremble and convulse as her inevitable climax built deep within. “Oh fuck,” Sam growled. Anna pulled her in tighter, her tongue dancing over her clit as she sucked harder and faster. “Don’t stop, right there…right there.” Anna had no intention of stopping. She was going to send Sam into the stratosphere if it was the last thing she ever did.

Needing more, Anna pushed two fingers into Sam, thrusting as she licked and sucked. Sam was dripping. Anna’s hand was soaked with Sam’s pleasure.

“Oh, Christ… Oh, fuck… Anna.” Sam came, gripping the back of Anna’s head. Anna clutched Sam as she fell apart, her body shaking into oblivion. Anna withdrew her mouth slowly, all the time watching Sam while she came back down to earth with ragged breaths.

“Are you okay?”

Sam laughed, “You astound me.” Her voice was shaky.

“I know the feeling.”

Anna held Sam’s hips and lifted herself up. She ran her hand through Sam’s hair, knowing full well she had to tell Sam how she was feeling. Anna was falling and there was no way back. Sam was taking possession of her heart.

Seventeen

L ying in bed with Anna wrapped in her arms, Sam stared at the ceiling, her mind drifting back to the night before. They’d shared another wonderful night together, exploring each other’s bodies, driving each other into blissful euphoria.

Unfortunately, Sam was finding it hard to hang on to the memories. The talk Anna had started several hours into their lovemaking was at the forefront of her mind.

Sam remembered the very moment she saw Anna’s face turn from hunger and desire to concern and fear. Sam felt her stomach tighten as she replayed their conversation.

“What’s wrong?” Sam felt Anna’s body stiffen in her embrace.

“I think we need to talk.” Anna pulled away from Sam. “What is this? What are we?”

Sam sat for a moment, looking at Anna. She wasn’t expecting to have this conversation, especially at this moment. She desperately tried to sift through her jumbled thoughts. Of course, she had asked herself the same questions. How could she not?

The circumstances in which they had met were extraordinary. Sam didn’t really believe in fate and destiny, but she couldn’t help feeling she and Anna had been put on the same path for a reason; a reason she didn’t understand yet. Sam also knew they had become close quickly. She felt good with Anna—safe to let down some of her protective walls, but not completely—not all the way.

The fact of the matter was they had only spent a few days with each other and surely, that wasn’t enough time to really know someone, was it? Even if her heart was telling her, she already knew enough about Anna to know she was someone truly special. How was she supposed to answer such a loaded question when she hadn’t had the time to process her own complicated feelings?

The last thing she wanted was to upset Anna or make her pull away from what they had. Yes, making love to Anna was beyond anything Sam had experienced before, but it wasn’t just the physical. Anna was smart, funny, caring, and honest. She was beautiful, inside and out.

“We’re two people getting to know each other.”

Anna nodded as she contemplated Sam’s answer. “I suppose I wanted to know if this is more than just sex for you?” Sam hated seeing her looking so vulnerable and scared.

“It is more than sex for me, Anna.”

“I don’t want to push you. I just want to make sure we are on the same page.”

“I think we are.” Sam cupped Anna’s chin, pulling her softly towards her. “Anna, I had a bad breakup with someone I was with for a really long time. It’s only recently I’ve come to understand how much that relationship took from me. Being here in Paris—being with you—is like a fresh start for me, but I have some work to do on myself before I can be fully into something and committed.

“You are fresh out of the closet and that’s so wonderful. You can finally figure out who you really are. Both of us are going to need time if we want this,” she pointed back and forth between them, “to be something special. And trust me when I tell you, I think we are supposed to be special.”

Anna took a deep breath. “Where do we go from here?”

“Tell me what you want.”

“I want us to keep seeing each other. I still want you in my bed.” Anna brushed her fingers across Sam’s cheek.

“So, let’s keep doing what we’re doing, with no pressure on either of us. How does that sound?”

“I can do that. I need you to know I like you a lot, Sam, and I think we could be special, as well.”

“We have to communicate. If you have something on your mind, tell me. You can talk to me about anything. No matter what, we are friends first, and I want you to trust me.” They kissed slowly, sealing their new understanding.

Even though they’d come to an agreement of sorts, Sam felt nervous. She’d had a fitful night, unable to settle into a deep sleep. Staring at the ceiling hadn’t provided her with the answers she was seeking.

Anna shifted in her sleep but didn’t stir. Sam wasn’t sure how much longer she could stay there. She needed to move, to do something that would shift her addled brain into a more positive space.

As gently as she could, she slipped out of the bed and got dressed, ready to go home. She was going to exercise and sweat away her confusion. After a quick search, she found a pen and paper and wrote a quick note to Anna. Maybe she should wake her and explain how she was feeling, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Anna looked far too peaceful. Sam put the note next to Anna’s phone, bent over, and kissed her temple before leaving.

“Come on… Come on, Sam,” she shouted at herself as she pushed to finish what had been a gruelling workout session. Her hair was soaked in sweat, as well as her back and practically every other part of her body. She’d pushed herself hard and enjoyed every painful minute of it.

Two weeks had passed since Anna and Sam had had their talk. They’d both felt a little awkward the following evening when they’d met for dinner, but Sam was pleased they’d manage to slip back into their usual relaxed conversation and playful banter after a couple of drinks. It was safe to say both of them were consciously keeping topics of discussion light. There had been no mention of their feelings or of the future.

Sam checked in with herself as much as possible. She was feeling good, and she wanted to make sure she was putting her best foot forward. That meant she had to ask herself some hard questions. Was she willing to go the distance with Anna? If so, what did that look like to her? If not, could she let Anna go but remain friends? All these hard questions were still without solid answers.

She was proud she’d so far stopped herself from dwelling and overthinking. She could accept she wasn’t in a place yet where she could answer those harder questions, and that was okay. She would take as much time as needed, as long as Anna was willing to wait, and vice versa.

Sam was also proud of the progress of her assignment. She was in her stride and she had made some bold choices with a few of her photos; choices she knew a few weeks ago she wouldn’t have made. It was amazing what a little self-assurance and support did to a woman’s confidence.

Finding herself alone that evening, Sam mulled over her options. Anna had a dinner date with Kim, and Sam didn’t want to impose on their time together. Anna had told Sam her friendship with Kim had evolved since she had come out.

Sam had met Kim a few times since her first meeting with Anna. She could see why Anna liked the feisty blonde so much. Her bubbly personality and wit were contagious. It was impossible to feel down with Kim around. Sam was happy to see Anna come out of herself a little more each day, and she knew Kim had a big part to play in that.

So, what was a girl to do on a random Wednesday evening all by her lonesome? She’d tried to call Charlie, but she hadn’t answered. The idea of going out didn’t really appeal, as she’d worked so much lately, she simply didn’t have the energy. Pizza and beer it was, then!

Sam was just about to shove a fourth slice into her mouth when she heard her phone blaring out the Skype theme tune. A picture of her mum flashed on her screen. Sam smiled widely. She hadn’t spoken to her mum in a few days, and she was eager to find out how her new painting was coming along. She pressed the screen to answer, but what she saw definitely wasn’t her mum’s sweet face.

“What is that?” she blurted. Her screen was filled with a multicoloured vagina.

“It’s a vagina, dear,” Sandy said matter-of-factly from behind the aforementioned vagina.

“I can see that, mother. Why are you showing it to me, for Christ’s sake?”

Sam should have been used to this type of behaviour from her mum by now. Sandy had never had a problem sharing some of her most provocative art with Sam, even when Sam was a kid. Sandy could never understand why parents were so guarded with their children about the human body; she thought every aspect of the body was beautiful and captivating. Sam, on the other hand, had wished many a time her mum would conform to the social norm where this subject was concerned.

“It’s a part of my new series. I haven’t got a name for it yet but I am so excited to paint more. You are my inspiration, darling.”

“Well, that’s disturbing,” Sam deadpanned.

“It’s not yours, love,” Sandy chuckled.

“I know it’s not bloody mine,” Sam barked.

Sandy lowered the painting. She was laughing hard. “I didn’t mean that yours inspired this particular vagina, you prat.” More laughing.

Sam scowled, but she couldn’t stay serious for long. Her mum’s laugh was one that made everyone that heard it giggle along, regardless of the hilarity of the joke.

“So how in God’s name am I your inspiration?”

“Strength, my love. You are a strong and beautiful woman. I wanted to celebrate all that you are.”

“And a massive vagina is what you came up with?”

“You know, for a lesbian, you have always been averse to looking at vaginas, dear.”

“No, Mum, I have been averse to you showing me vaginas.”

“Sammy, I just don’t understand why you find it so upsetting. It’s a beautiful and natural thing.”

“I couldn’t agree more, but that doesn’t mean I should be okay with my mum randomly showing them to me.”

Sandy rolled her eyes. Sam would never convince her mum she should at least try to have some boundaries with her daughter. “You should be thankful I didn’t share the male version,” Sandy chuckled.

“Er…okay… Thanks for not showing me a multicoloured penis, Mum.”

“You’re welcome, love. Anyway, the reason I called was to see if you’re going to be home for Charlie’s birthday next month?”

“Maybe you could have led with that and then eased me into the whole vagina painting thing next.”

Sandy tutted and rolled her eyes again, choosing to ignore Sam’s comment. “So, will you be home?”

Sam felt surprised by the weight she felt in her stomach. Her mum had asked her an innocent question; one that should be easy to answer, but wasn’t.

In normal circumstances, Sam would be ecstatic thinking about the time she would get to spend with Charlie on her birthday, but now Sam felt sick—not at the thought of seeing Charlie, but at the thought of being back in England. By the time Charlie’s birthday rolled around, Sam would likely have finished her project, meaning she no longer needed to stay in Paris with Anna.

“Sam?”

Sam pulled herself from her thoughts. “Sorry, Mum, er, I hadn’t thought about it.”

“Will you still have a lot of work to do? Are you worried you can’t get the time off?”

Sam shook her head. “No, no, actually, I’ll probably be finished before then, so I’ll be coming home, I guess.”

“You don’t seem thrilled about that, love.”

Sam looked away from her mum, deciding if she should tell her about Anna. Of course she should. Not talking about her feelings in the past had led her down the garden path; she didn’t have time for that again.

“I’ve met someone.”

“A woman?” Sandy’s face softened into a smile.

“Yeah, a woman. It’s a bit of a crazy story—right up your street,” Sam chuckled.

“Ooh, do tell,” Sandy said, far too enthusiastically.

Sam launched into the story without hesitation. She gave her mum every detail, bar the amazing sexy ones. Her mum did not need those. Once she finished, she sat back and waited for her mum’s reaction.

“Well… Slap my ass and call me Mildred.”

Sam laughed loudly. Her mum never failed to surprise her. “Well, that’s a truly horrifying thing to hear. Please don’t use that saying again, Mum.”

“Sorry, love, I’m just a little shocked. I mean, you have found your cosmic soulmate, my love. Do you know how lucky you are? Oh, Sam, I’m over the moon, darling.”

Sam rolled her eyes. She knew her mum would latch onto the whole “soulmate”, “fated”, “destiny” bollocks.

“Whoa, chill your beans, Mum. You can stop with the ‘cosmic’ mumbo jumbo right now. Anna is great. and yes, the circumstances of our meeting are questionably odd, but that does not mean we are soulmates.”

“Say what you will, Sam! You will see,” Sandy chirped. “Just promise me you won’t dismiss what you have because you live in different countries. Stay open-minded.”

“I will, and I will be at home for Charlie’s birthday. You know I would never miss it. What are you getting her?” Sam needed to change the subject from Anna.

“You’ve seen what I’m gifting her.”

“You’re giving her the vagina, aren’t you?” Sam sighed.

“Of course. She’ll love it.”

“Yeah… She really will,” Sam chortled.

The video call with her mum had been unsettling. She was worried about how quickly her project was nearing its end. Anna and Sam had continued dating, but now Sam could see the flaw in their plan.

The longer they carried on seeing each other, the closer they became, which was all fine and dandy if their end goal was friendship, but Sam knew they were more. They’d slept with each other nearly every night, sharing food, laughs, and intimacy.

Sam felt she was at a crossroads. She could either stay the course, continue to spend time with Anna, growing closer in every way, or she had to pull the plug. The biggest question was: Could she walk away?

The past few weeks had been wonderful in so many ways. From the day Sam had read Charlie’s letter, she had promised herself to work towards something instead of living with the past.

Sam was dedicated to her health and well-being now, something that had been neglected for over a decade. Her work was a big part of that, which is why she had steamrolled this assignment. She was focused and determined, and for once, she had pride in her art. Anna was also a big part of her positive outlook. Sam had been able to open up to Anna in a way she had feared doing for so long.

Still, she had that niggling voice in the back of her head, warning her not to dive in headfirst. Sam knew that was why she couldn’t take their relationship further right now. She was still dealing with scars. Maybe she would never be rid of them completely, which terrified her because she hated to think she wouldn’t be able to give herself to someone fully, ever again.

Sam had compiled all the photographs she wanted to present to Hélène for final approval. Hélène had made it clear all along that Sam was solely in charge of any decisions, but Sam really wanted Hélène’s opinion. This was a career-changing opportunity, and she wanted to make sure she was on the right path, even if her gut already told her she had smashed it.

Sam knocked lightly on Hélène’s door. She hadn’t set an appointment because she knew she would only get herself worked up if she had to wait. Spontaneity was the best course of action.

“Oui ,” Hélène called.

“Hi, have you got a sec?” Sam couldn’t hide the slight quiver in her voice. Her nerves were at an all-time high. This project had become something really important to her, as had Hélène’s friendship.

As well as the deadline for her relationship with Anna, Sam realised she was also going to be saying goodbye to her new friends when she left to go back to England. After the rocky start with Hélène, they’d pushed past any awkwardness and become good friends.

Hélène was funny, smart, and kind. They’d spent time working together. Hélène was always keen to get Sam’s opinion and vice versa. They’d gone out a few times, Sam acting as a wingwoman for Hélène as she prowled for a woman to take home. Sadness filled her up. In a short time, she had made these offices and these people, her family, and now she was going to leave.

“Of course.” Hélène gestured to the chair in front of her desk.

“I’ve got ninety percent of my photographs edited and ready to go. I wanted you to take a look at them and give me some feedback.” Sam’s leg was bobbing up and down with nervous energy.

“Give me the thumb drive and I’ll look now. I have half an hour to spare for my favourite photographer,” she winked.

Sam passed her the drive and sat back, waiting as patiently as possible whilst Hélène loaded the work. Hélène’s face was unreadable as she clicked through the photos. Finally, after what seemed an eternity, Hélène looked from the screen to Sam, who’d been holding her breath in anticipation. “Well?”

“I don’t know what to say.”

Fear gripped Sam’s chest. Had she been wrong about her competence? Had she screwed the pooch so badly Hélène was lost for words?

“That bad huh?” Sam chucked, trying to break her crippling anxiety with humour.

“Sam, your work…it…it’s breathtaking.” Sam stared at Hélène like she’d just grown a third boob. “Sam, you are so talented. Rupert is going to be ecstatic, and so is John. You should be so proud. I certainly am.” Hélène rounded her desk and pulled Sam into a bear hug. Sam let out a nervous chuckle. She was still processing Hélène’s praise. After Hélène let her go, she sat back at her desk, ejecting Sam’s USB drive and handing it back. “How much more have you left to do?”

“Not much at all, just a few final touches before I send them for printing. I have the photos selected for the book, ready to be sent to Anna.”

Hélène regarded her friend for a moment. “How are you and Anna?” She was looking at Sam as though she thought Sam was about to break down. Maybe her worries were easier to read than she thought.

“We’re good. I mean, we are still seeing each other.”

“And with your project coming to a close? How is that sitting with the two of you?”

“We haven’t talked about it. I think we are both too scared to face up to it.”

“Understandable. Remember, it doesn’t have to be the end. You could look at long distance if you think she’s worth it.”

“It’s not a question of her being worth it. It’s more to do with it being fair to us both. Anna has so much to discover about herself and I want her to do that, so I’m not sure keeping her tethered to me when I’m not even in the same fucking country is a wise choice, no matter how I’m feeling.” It felt good to express what had been rattling around in her brain for weeks.

“You may have a point there. Talk to her and get some clarity for the both of you.” Hélène smiled warmly, giving Sam’s shoulder a little squeeze of support.

Sam left the office. She needed some fresh air and some time alone to think. She knew it wasn’t fair to keep them both in limbo any longer. The hardest part was knowing, no matter what she did, she was going to get hurt, and so was Anna.

Eighteen

A nna sat at her desk. She was in complete shock. The meeting she’d had with Marcus first thing that morning had knocked her sideways. She hadn’t been prepared for what he’d had to say, at all. She registered the sound of her office door closing and Kim sitting down, looking concerned. “Everything alright, doll?”

“I…I…” Anna couldn’t articulate what had happened.

“Anna, talk to me…you’re scaring me.”

Anna was sat staring at her friend, her face pale. “Marcus.”

“Marcus? Okay, what about him?” Kim pressed.

“He’s leaving,” Anna spluttered. “He’s retiring.”

“Right, so what does that mean for everyone? Are we all out of jobs?”

“No, no one is losing their job, nothing like that.”

Kim let out a long breath, letting her fear go with it. “Okay, so why does your face look like that, then?”

“He’s given it to me,” Anna choked. “He’s signed over his half of the business to me.”

“What!” Kim bellowed, causing every member of the office to look.

Anna took a second before answering. “He called me last night and set up a meeting for this morning. Nothing out of the ordinary.” Kim nodded. “So I attended the meeting thinking it was going to be about a deadline or something like that, but the moment I saw his face, I knew something was going on.”

“What did his face look like?”

“Peaceful,” Anna replied. It was the only word that described his look perfectly. For the first time in years, Marcus looked at peace.

“Right…okay, then what?”

“He just came out with it, said he was retiring at the end of the month, said he’d been planning it for a while, and the only thing that was stopping him was finding the right person to take over and—”

“There’s taking over the job and then there is being given half a company,” Kim interjected.

“I fully agree, which is exactly what I said to him the moment it was out of his mouth. He said he didn’t want to keep his part of the company—it held too many memories of Claire. He then said he’d already spoken to John about handing over his half to me and they were in complete agreement.”

“Apparently, John doesn’t want to take over fully. He wants to remain a silent partner, and he wants to collaborate with someone who is passionate about the job. Apparently, that’s me. Marcus was adamant.”

“Bloody hell, what did you say to him?”

“I said I was very grateful for the offer, but I felt he was giving me something I didn’t deserve.”

“What did he say?”

“He said he knew exactly what he was doing and he wouldn’t take no for an answer. And that he knew I was the right person for the job years ago, he just wanted me to learn more and get comfortable in a managerial role. He told me he has been moulding me to take over. He also said owning Tower Publishing had been a dream, but it was time to move on. Apparently, he owns several other companies, which is why he doesn’t want me to buy him out. He wants to gift it to me because he thinks that’s what Claire would have wanted. Did you know he owned other companies?”

“Nope, not at all.”

Replaying the conversation with Kim was helping it all sink in. Anna hadn’t thought about the possibility of taking her career any further, in years. She certainly hadn’t entertained the idea she was passionate about what she did—yes, she loved it, but passionate? Now, though, the more she thought about Marcus’s words, the more she realised he was right.

Anna had attributed her despondency about her job as a lack of interest—or more that she’d become too comfortable—but that wasn’t true at all. Anna had been despondent about her whole life and that was because she had been living as someone else: a stranger she no longer recognised.

She hadn’t realised at the time, that being closeted had affected every aspect of her life, including her job. At university, Anna had dreamed of working in publishing. She had been so excited, but at some point, her excitement and dreams had been tossed to one side, settling instead for mediocrity.

“What do you think?”

“Well, I think you would be bloody brilliant, quite frankly,” Kim chimed.

“Really?”

“Really. Anna, you have changed so much in such a short amount of time. Everyone here can see how much happier you are and that is definitely showing in your work and your love for what you do.”

Anna took a few deep breaths. “This is a big step, Kim. Would you be ready for it too? I presume you wouldn’t mind being my personal assistant still?”

“Will I get a raise?” Kim joked.

“Of course.”

“Oh…well, I was only joking, but I won’t turn it down. The more important question to ask is: Are you ready?”

“I think I am, yes. I need to have another conversation with Marcus.”

“Congratulations, my sweet, we need to celebrate. How about a drink this evening, or have you got plans with Sam?”

Sam. Shit. Anna hadn’t even considered what this would mean for them. Taking over from Marcus meant she was cementing herself permanently in the company. Hell, it would be her company, meaning any options for her and Sam would be severely limited outside of Paris.

Kim must have read her thoughts. “You need to talk to her, Anna, sooner rather than later.”

“Yes, you’re right.” Anna dropped her head to the desk with an audible thud. For a few minutes, she had been on cloud nine, the future looking so bright until she thought of Sam, which made her come crashing back down to Earth like a sack of shit.

As if she had summoned her with the power of thought alone, Anna looked up to see Sam walking towards her office. Kim looked over her shoulder, noticing Sam approaching. She turned to Anna with love in her eyes. “You got this,” she winked.

Sam knocked on the door and waited for Kim to answer. “Hi, Kim.”

“Hey, doll. Anna’s free. Go right in.” She squeezed Sam’s shoulder. Anna shuffled in her seat, preparing herself for what was to come.

“Hi.”

“Hey you.”

“I brought over the finished photos for the book.”

“Excellent.” Anna was kicking herself over her lack of vocabulary.

“Everything okay?”

“Yes, I just had some interesting and exciting news. Take a seat.” Anna stood and went to her windows. She pulled the privacy blinds down, which she had never done before. She didn’t want them to be disturbed. She caught Kim’s eye, who gave her a little nod of encouragement.

“I didn’t know you had blinds.”

“I have never used them. I never saw the point of them, to be honest.”

“But now you do?”

Anna pulled her chair so she could sit next to Sam. She took her hand and began explaining about her meeting with Marcus, detailing everything that had been discussed and her decision to take over the company. Sam sat silently, listening until she finished.

“Wow. That’s huge, Anna. I’m so happy for you.” She pulled Anna into a heartfelt hug. Anna sank into it, breathing in Sam’s wonderful and calming aroma. Once they released each other, Anna sat back in her chair. She began entwining her fingers as she became more nervous.

“What? Talk to me, Anna.”

“Taking this job is an enormous step for me. It’s such a positive step, but I fear for what it means for us.”

“I know. I came here to talk to you, too.” Sam looked equally uneasy. “I’m really close to wrapping up my project. Once that’s done, I’ll be going home.”

“How long?”

“A couple of weeks at most.”

Anna’s heart plunged. She knew Sam would leave eventually, but it didn’t stop her from feeling utterly broken. There was no use. She had to lay it all out there. She couldn’t think of a world where she wasn’t with Sam. She went to open her mouth, but Sam beat her to the punch.

“I think we should concentrate on staying friends.” Those words were like a sledgehammer to the heart. Anna wanted the ground to open up and swallow her. She didn’t want to be just friends, but it wasn’t only up to her. “Long distance would be brutal on both of us. You mean so much to me, Anna, and I want you to be happy.”

Anna was in an emotional free fall. Sam would make her happy. She’d been making her happy since they’d met. How could she say that, though? She knew Sam wasn’t ready to commit to something more, and she respected her enough not to push her.

“I don’t want to lose you out of my life,” Anna choked, tears filling her eyes.

“Oh, Anna, that’s never going to happen. We’re in each other’s lives forever. There’s no doubt in my mind about that.” Sam cupped Anna’s cheek tenderly.

Anna was overwhelmed with emotion. The feel of Sam’s hand on her face warmed her and made her feel safe. She leaned in and kissed Sam with as much passion as she could muster. Sam reciprocated with an equal amount of pressure and want. They pulled away, their lips hovering a centimetre apart; their breaths coming short and fast.

“How private are these blinds?” Sam panted.

“Very.” Anna pulled Sam back into another searing kiss. She felt Sam pulling her up and walking her towards the bookcases that lined the walls behind her desk. Her back hit the shelves with a thud. Sam pressed against her body. Anna felt her underwear become soaked.

“I’ve wanted to take you up against these bookshelves since the moment I saw you standing by them, looking sexy as hell in that first meeting,” Sam whispered into her ear.

Anna thought she was going to come on the spot. “Sam,” she gasped.

“What do you want, Anna? Tell me.”

“Anything, any way you want, Sam.”

She heard Sam groan in anticipation and desire. Sam began kissing her neck, her hands exploring Anna’s body. “Turn around,” Sam demanded. Anna turned to face her books. She felt Sam’s hand tracing up the back of her thigh, lifting her skirt. She felt the cold air caress her ass as Sam hooked her thumbs under her thong and slid them down to her knees. “Spread for me,” Sam panted. Her excitement was palpable.

Anna opened her legs, waiting for the inevitable euphoria she was about to experience. She gasped as Sam brushed a hand over her pussy. “You’re so wet, baby.”

“Now, Sam,” Anna demanded. She couldn’t wait any longer. She felt two fingers slide inside of her, picking up rhythm. Anna clutched the bookshelves for support. She wasn’t sure she could stay upright for much longer.

“Oh, God,” she whispered.

“Tell me what you need.”

“Harder.”

“Like this?”

Anna clung to the shelves for dear life. Sam was taking her with masterful precision. Just as she thought it couldn’t get any better, she felt Sam bring her other hand around to her front. Sam’s nimble fingers began circling her clit. “Mon Dieu ,” she exhaled as the pleasure built to an almost unbearable level.

Anna couldn’t be sure, but she thought for a brief second that Sam momentarily paused. Her thoughts were quickly pushed to one side as she felt herself tighten, the orgasm tearing through her like a raging fire. Anna did her very best to stay quiet as she came, but she wasn’t confident she had pulled it off.

She released her hands, allowing the blood to return to them. She hadn’t realised how hard she’d been holding on to the shelves. Anna let her body go slack, the weight of Sam against her as they tried to slow their breathing.

“That was amazing,” Sam whispered.

“I agree,” Anna chuckled.

“You might have been a little loud.” Sam gently bit Anna’s earlobe, which sent a shot of desire straight to her clit.

“Let’s see if you can do any better. Sit on the desk.” Anna felt Sam’s body move away from her. She turned to watch Sam casually lean against her desk, waiting. Anna pulled up her underwear slowly. She took her time straightening out her clothes. “Take off your trousers and underwear.”

Sam was breathing hard. Anna knew it wouldn’t take her long to tip Sam over the edge. Once Sam had removed the necessary clothing, she looked at Anna for her next command. “Put your right foot on my chair.”

Anna watched Sam get into position. She was completely open, ready and waiting for Anna’s mouth. Slowly, Anna walked over and sank to her knees. She sent a gentle breath over Sam’s exposed clit. Sam groaned quietly. “Hold on,” Anna whispered. Anna grabbed Sam’s backside with her hands and plunged into her.

After sleeping together every night, Anna knew Sam loved to come in her mouth. She knew the exact spot that would drive Sam wild. She felt Sam thrust her hips, grabbing the back of Anna’s head, gently tugging at her hair. Anna could see she was struggling to stay silent.

Anna was relentless. She sucked Sam’s clit over and over before releasing it. She tongued Sam’s entrance, which caused her to moan. Sam was losing the battle to be quiet. She felt Sam tense and it was time to unravel her.

Flattening her tongue, she ran it up the length of Sam’s sex. Sam threw her head back as her body quivered. Her release was strong, and Anna adored every second. She stayed in place until Sam had stopped shaking. Satisfied with her work, she gave Sam’s clit one last kiss before standing up and wrapping her arms around her lover’s neck.

They seemed to both understand this could be the last time they made love. Anna placed her hands on either side of Sam’s head and kissed her, slow and deep. They pulled apart and looked into each other’s eyes.

Anna wanted to stay like this forever, but it wasn’t to be. They were pulled out of their post-sex haze when she heard knocking on her door. Anna stepped away and adjusted her hair and clothes whilst Sam redressed. Once Anna was sure they were both decent, she opened the door.

Kim grinned. “I hope I’m not interrupting?”

Anna cleared her throat. She could feel her face flush crimson. “No, of course not. We had just finished…the meeting…just finished the meeting.”

Kim snorted and entered the office. She looked several times from Anna to Sam, who was trying her damndest to look casual.

Anna closed the door behind her and turned to Kim. “Everything alright?”

“Oh, yes, fine. You have a meeting with the team in ten minutes,” Kim smiled.

“Of course, thank you for reminding me.” Anna tried desperately to sound as normal as possible.

Kim cleared her throat before gesturing to Sam, “Er, you’re flying low, pal.” Anna looked from Kim to Sam, who was as confused as her. Anna looked back to Kim, who was giggling and looking pointedly at Sam’s crotch. Anna shot her gaze back to Sam, who’d also clicked on to Kim’s meaning.

“Shit,” Sam barked, twisting around so her back was facing them. Anna watched Sam fumble with the zip on her trousers. A fresh wave of heat crashed over her. They had clearly failed at being discreet.

Kim saw Anna’s look of mortification. “Relax, guys. Funnily enough, I felt it was time the team took a well-earned break. They headed out to the café when you began your ‘meeting’,” she laughed. Neither Anna nor Sam said anything until they caught each other’s eye. Anna burst out laughing, followed quickly by Sam.

“I’ll get going. Text you later?”

“Please do,” Anna smiled.

Sam placed a soft kiss on her cheek before leaving. “See you soon, Kim.”

“See ya,” Kim chimed.

Once Anna was sure Sam was out of range, she dropped her head into her hands. “Mon Dieu , I am so embarrassed.”

“Stop. No one else twigged you were getting randy in your office,” Kim chuckled. “You might want to straighten those books, though,” she added, pointing to the spot where Anna had been pressed.

“Merde .” Anna scrambled to the case to tidy up the mess.

She felt Kim place a hand softly on her shoulder. “Anna, seriously, calm down. No harm done. Did you talk at all?”

Anna nodded slowly. The effects of their office rendezvous had worn off. The stark reality of their situation hung over her like a dark cloud. She had to let Sam go. She wasn’t ready, but she couldn’t torture herself by continuing to make love to Sam, knowing it couldn’t go any further. She had to accept Sam would be her friend and nothing more.

“We’re going to stay friends. She will probably leave for the UK soon and she wasn’t willing to try long distance.”

“I’m sorry, doll.” Kim wrapped Anna in a hug.

“So am I,” Anna sighed.

Anna sat at the table by the window of her rental. It was time to decide. Her lease was ending and she hadn’t found an apartment. Her new position at Tower Publishing afforded her the ability to think bigger when it came to the square footage of her next place, but the thought of leaving her current lodgings didn’t sit well.

It had been almost three weeks since she and Sam had been together physically. They had both pulled back, trying to make it easier on each other. They still spoke over the phone and sent texts several times a day, usually discussing the progression of the nearly finished book, and Sam’s photos.

Anna had made a point of only accepting lunch invitations in public places. She still couldn’t trust herself when she was near Sam. It was going to be difficult, but Anna wasn’t prepared to say goodbye completely. She would be friends with Sam, no matter how badly her heart ached.

She sighed deeply, which seemed to become something of a regular thing now. Fingering through her rental contract, she noticed in the small print, the owner would consider a longer rental agreement if the right occupant came along. Anna was on good terms with him and didn’t think he would have an issue with her staying on a long-term basis.

The apartment was in a great location for work. She’d explored the area and already had a favourite bakery and café. The place was a little above her budget, but she wasn’t planning on any large outgoings any time soon. Maybe this could be a celebratory gift to herself? The downside would be, when Sam left, she feared the apartment would only remind her of her loss.

Her phone buzzed on the table. Frédéric’s name flashed on her screen. “Coucou ,” she chirped, trying to sound upbeat.

“Hey, are you in?”

“Yes, here all day.”

“I’m just round the corner. Be there in a minute,” he said before cutting the call. Sure enough, the doorbell rang a few minutes later. Anna let her brother in and sank back onto the chair at the table. Frédéric sat opposite, looking at the rental paperwork. “You thinking of staying?”

“I can’t decide. It’s a great place. A little pricey, but I’ve really grown to love it.”

“What’s the problem, then? You look like someone’s pissed in your cereal.”

Anna grimaced. “I wish you wouldn’t blindly repeat what Dad says.”

Frédéric laughed. “I was trying to cheer you up. Come on, tell me what’s wrong?”

“Honestly…I’m worried once Sam’s gone, it will spoil the place for me.”

“Ah, the mysterious Sam. I’m surprised you haven’t asked me to meet her.”

“We have an agreement about that,” she reminded him. They wouldn’t meet partners unless it was love. Anna was still to meet Frédéric’s girlfriend, Lucie.

“Yeah, I know what our agreement is, and I also know you are completely in love with that woman,” he said plainly.

Anna went to protest, but she couldn’t muster the energy to do it. He was right. She had fallen for Sam, hopelessly, but she wasn’t sure she was ready to call it love just yet.

“It doesn’t matter. We are staying friends, and that’s all.”

Frédéric shrugged, “If you say so, sis.”

“Can we get back to the apartment hunting?” Talking about Sam was just too much right now.

“Sure. Look, if you like the place and you can afford it, then go for it. The building and area are exquisite. I would kill to live around here. It’s going to feel crap when Sam leaves, but you can’t run away from every place that reminds you of her.”

He was right. Again. Anna internally rolled her eyes; it seemed Frédéric was doing a better job at being the older sibling than she was, at the minute.

“You’re right, I’ll call the owner.”

“Great, you should have a housewarming party. I can bring Lucie,” he smiled.

“If the owner agrees, then I’ll have a little get-together. I would love you to bring Lucie.”

“Bon . Lunch?”

“Absolutely. Let me call the owner first and then we’ll go.”

Ten minutes later, she put the phone down. “I’ve got a new apartment,” she beamed. Frédéric picked her up and twirled her around, laughing. Anna broke out into giggles as she spun.

Yes, her heart might be breaking for what she couldn’t have with Sam, but she couldn’t ignore the things she had: close friends, new apartment, better job, and most importantly, a new sense of self.

Nineteen

S am had prolonged the project as much as possible. She’d stretched out the final edits until she couldn’t, in good conscience, continue to waste her time any longer. She’d been chosen for this project to prove herself, which in her opinion, she’d done magnificently.

Dawdling now was unprofessional, and she didn’t want to take anything away from her pristine work or her reputation. That being said, her heart was aching because she had just sent off the last photographs to be printed. She had officially finished.

All that was left to do was send an email to Hélène, formally closing the project. She’d written the email half an hour ago but couldn’t find it in herself to click send.

Just send it!

Her body wasn’t cooperating. She squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself to take the plunge. No matter how long she waited, the outcome wouldn’t change. Sam was finished with the project, finished with Paris, and heartbreakingly, finished with Anna.

Sam swivelled her chair to face the window. The sunlight filtered through gaps in the blinds she’d pulled closed to keep the editing suite dark. Considering she was the only one in the room, she didn’t see a problem with opening them now.

The street below was busier than usual, with plenty of people flitting between the buildings, going about their daily lives, unaware Sam felt as if her newly built world was crashing down around her.

Nobody could understand the feeling of dread that had settled within her since she last saw Anna and had let her go romantically, friendship being the only possibility Sam could see, even if it was going to crush them both in the beginning.

Twenty-three days had passed since they had taken each other in Anna’s office. They both knew it was the last time they would be together like that.

Sam tried to distance herself as much as possible without causing Anna to feel rejected. They’d spoken a few times, but nowhere near the amount they had when they’d been dating. Sam berated herself for dating Anna in the first place. She was furious with herself for letting them get to a point where all they’d be left with was pain. Sam had known from the beginning she still had too much baggage to sort through to give Anna what she deserved.

God, she just wanted the dull ache in her chest to go away. She took a few deep breaths, not wanting to let herself overthink and overanalyse. It was part of the “new her”. She was adamant she was going to go forward—well, back—to England, with all the positivity she could summon.

She was done living in the past, with regrets and insecurities, yet she couldn’t bring herself to apply the same focus and determination with Anna. It was like a part of her had been broken and she couldn’t figure out how to mend it.

After a few more minutes of looking out over Paris, Sam turned back to the computer and to the email that seemed to torment her. With a resigned sigh, she clicked the send button. Now it was official.

Sam spent the next two days organising herself and saying goodbye to her new colleagues and friends. Hélène had planned a night out to say farewell; something Sam was not looking forward to.

There were two more days to go before her leaving party and she knew she had to spend her time wisely, meaning she needed to concentrate on packing and getting ready to leave. But no matter how much she tried to focus on the job at hand, she couldn’t stop herself gravitating towards the window, hoping to see Anna.

Sam wanted nothing more than to run over and take her in her arms, but she wouldn’t let herself do it. She wouldn’t reopen those wounds. After the fifth time of wandering over to the window, Sam caught sight of her. She was setting lunch out for herself on her little table. The sight of her made Sam melt. Her presence, even from afar, was mesmerising and calming.

A pang of guilt washed over her. Sam had promised Anna she wouldn’t disappear from her life. They would be friends no matter what, and yet, Sam had not been a good friend at all lately. She had distanced herself so much she hadn’t even invited Anna to her leaving party. Shit! She was ghosting Anna. She had to rectify her mistake immediately.

Sam

Bonjour :)

Sam looked from her phone over to Anna’s apartment. She saw Anna pick up her phone and type. Sam smiled from ear to ear.

Anna

Who is this?

Sam’s smile fell from her face. Anna was upset.

Anna

I wonder if it’s a friend I used to know? Sandy hair. Enjoys taking pictures.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

Sam

I’m so sorry, Anna, I’ve been a right melt! You deserve better.

Anna

Yes, I do!

Sam

Will you forgive me?

Anna

Depends. Are you going to disappear on me again? You said we would always be friends?

Sam

You’re right. I have been a shitty friend. I’ve just been struggling with leaving and I pushed you away.

Anna

Why?

Sam

Because leaving you is proving harder than I thought.

Anna

It’s hard on me too.

Sam sighed heavily. She looked over at Anna, who was looking straight back at her. Sam called Anna’s number and pressed the phone to her ear. She saw Anna do the same as the call was connected.

“I miss you,” Sam whispered.

“I miss you, too, but you can’t just disappear like that.” Anna’s reply was cool, her tone a little stiff.

“I know. I really am sorry. You mean the world to me. Can you give me another chance?”

“Of course. You pissed me off, but friends always forgive each other.”

Sam felt the tension fall away. Yes, the situation sucked major balls, but at least Anna would still be in her life.

“Do you want to come to my leaving party on Friday? Kim too?”

“I’ll be there.”

“I’ll send you the details.”

“Great.”

There was a beat of silence. Sam wanted them to go back to normal. She didn’t want her last moments with Anna to be strained. “How was your week?” She saw a smile unfold on Anna’s face before she delved into the details of her week.

They chatted as if nothing had changed between them. Sam sank into the chair at her table by the window, looking over at Anna as she listened to everything she had to say.

The packing could wait a little longer.

Friday rolled around quickly. Sam had packed all of her things without too much trouble. She had texted Anna every day without fail. Sometimes they spoke about random things and other times they hit on Sam’s departure.

Their most recent text chain was about clothing for the party. Anna wasn’t sure how “dressed up” she should be. Sam was in the same boat. Hélène hadn’t given her any details regarding a dress code. Thankfully, her question was answered when Hélène arrived at the apartment with a clothes bag slung over her shoulder.

“Coucou ,” she chirped before giving Sam a two-cheek kiss.

Sam pointed at the bag. “What’s that?”

“It’s your outfit for tonight.”

“Thank God. I didn’t know what to wear. Anna, too.”

“I messaged Kim earlier. Don’t worry.”

“Great,” Sam exhaled. That was one less thing to worry about. “So, what did you bring me?”

Hélène laid the bag on the sofa before opening it. Sam peered in to see skintight green chino trousers and a form-fitting tank top. Sam knew she was going to look good, especially seeing as her workouts had given her muscle definition on her arms and torso.

“So, I take it we’re not going to a fancy-ass restaurant, then?” she chuckled.

“No way. Tonight, we are dancing and drinking.”

“Fantastique ,” Sam shouted in the world’s worst French accent.

Hélène almost snorted with laughter. “Please stick to English.”

“Hey, I thought that was pretty good!”

“Oh, Sam, I am going to miss you.” They both fell silent. It was a heavy moment. Sam knew this evening was going to be difficult.

“I’ll miss you, too, but you have to visit and call.”

“Of course.” Hélène threw her arms around Sam.

Wow, this is going to be hard.

“Okay, give me ten minutes to dress and grab my wallet.” Sam needed a few moments to compose herself. With a few calming breaths, Sam put on a brave face. She was determined that her last night out was going to be unforgettable.

They were going to drink and dance and focus on everything that had made her trip to Paris so wonderful.

Anna.

Anna had made her trip unforgettable. Sam couldn’t focus on her, though. That would be a mistake. They had formed a close, but tentative friendship, and one slip tonight could ruin it all. No, Sam had to stay vigilant.

“Ready?” Hélène called. Sam had taken longer than necessary to prepare.

“Let’s do it.” Her feelings didn’t match the tone in her voice.

The car was waiting out on the street. Henry smiled softly as they climbed in. Sam was feeling a mixture of things, with excitement and nerves being at the top of the list. After tonight, she knew her life was going to change again.

When she had first arrived in Paris, she would never have pictured herself sitting in this car with a wonderful friend like Hélène, feeling so confident in herself and craving the next adventure.

Sam had been a shell of a person for so long. She had been lost and confused, focusing on all the wrong things and asking all the wrong questions; questions that only led her to feel worse about herself. Her heart clenched as she looked over at Hélène, who had produced a bottle of Champagne from the centre console of the car. She had a wide and infectious smile which made Sam’s chest tighten.

Sitting in the car, looking over at her friend, Sam finally felt as if she had shed the weight and misery of her past. She had people around her who lifted her up and cheered her on. No matter where she was in the world, that loving support could never be taken from her, and yes, Sam now believed she could go and do anything she wanted. Her ambition was limitless, and she had Paris and her friends to thank for it. She was so full of love she almost broke down.

“Drink!” Hélène cheered.

They happily drank and talked as Henry drove them through the streets of Paris. Sam didn’t know where they were going and she didn’t care. She was too busy soaking up the city one last time.

The car finally pulled up to the kerb. Sam peeked out the window and recognised the area immediately. “This is the bar we went to weeks ago,” she stated as she followed Hélène out of the car.

“It is, but this time it is ours for the night.” Hélène was almost bouncing in excitement.

“What do you mean, ‘it’s ours’?”

“I hired the entire bar, courtesy of Rupert,” she squealed.

“Fuck me,” Sam bellowed.

Hélène threw her head back and laughed. “I knew you would say that. You English and your cursing.” Shaking her head, she tutted in mock disapproval. Hélène slung her arm around Sam and walked her to the door. “Everyone is here. The entire office showed up. You made a big impression on everyone, Ms Chambers.”

Sam could feel her face burning. She still wasn’t great at taking compliments. “That’s…that’s incredible,” she whispered as she was ushered through the door.

They were greeted by a large crowd of people who cheered as soon as they stepped inside. There was no use even trying to stop the tears. The love and support on show completely overwhelmed her.

Taking a step towards the crowd, she allowed herself to be pulled into hugs and kisses by people she knew well and some she had only met in passing. All of them were there to wish her the best.

After what seemed an age, Sam finally sat at the bar where there was already a line of drinks waiting for her. “Let’s get this party started,” Hélène shouted.

The music grew steadily louder, as did everyone in the bar. “I may have mentioned to the DJ that you love ‘90s songs, so I think that will be the theme of the night,” Hélène giggled. She was already on her way to being tipsy.

Sam chuckled along with her, the beat of the music flowing through her body as well as the alcohol she had downed. Sitting at the bar, she began scanning the room. Everyone was having a whale of a time. Her breath caught as she locked eyes with Anna. There, in the centre of the dance floor, stood the woman that had turned her world upside down, and sure enough, she looked out-of-this-world stunning.

Sam felt her blood rush south. Anna wore black pinstriped trousers that seemed to have been perfectly tailored to her body, a black ribbed tank top that clung to every delicious curve, and to finish, white suspenders. Her hair was loose and wild around her shoulders and it swayed with every beat of the music.

Fuck me sideways!

How the hell was she supposed to get through the evening without getting close to her, especially with her in those three-inch heels?

Realising she was ogling, she gave Anna a little wave.

Lame.

Anna smiled before turning back to the crowd, dancing.

Do not dance with her!

Sam knew her aim tonight had to be staying away from Anna. There was no way she could keep it “just friendly” if she got too close.

On that decision, she grabbed a drink and started making the rounds, chatting and laughing with her guests. Good idea—stick to the crowd . Half an hour had passed and Sam was feeling her throat getting sore from all the talking and shouting—the music was really loud. She searched the dance floor to see if Anna was still there, but she was gone. Sam did, however, see Hélène and Seb ripping up the dance floor with very questionable moves.

“What are you doing? This can’t be classed as dancing,” she laughed as she joined them.

“It’s interpretive,” Seb bellowed.

Sam clutched her sides, laughing as she continued to watch Hélène and Seb dance.

Well, if you can’t beat ’em… Sam threw herself into the music.

Several songs later, she cast her eyes around the room. There was no denying she was looking for one particular guest. She found her sitting at one of the small tables, talking to Kim.

Breaking away from her dance companions, she headed to their table. Sam couldn’t dance with Anna, but they were still friends, after all, and not saying hello would be wrong.

“Hey guys.” She casually plonked herself down into the free chair next to Kim.

“Hey yourself,” Kim winked.

“You enjoying yourselves?” Sam looked from Kim to Anna.

“It’s wonderful,” Anna replied with a soft smile.

God, could she be any more beautiful?

Sam returned the smile but didn’t know what to say because the things that were running through her mind were far from appropriate. Kim sensed the tension and dived into conversation, effectively saving them all from any more polite awkwardness.

Kim was fantastic at filling the silence; she spoke of her boyfriend, work, the weather, and anything else she could think of. Sam could have kissed her. She was a great friend to them both.

They sat chatting for a good twenty minutes before they were interrupted by a tall blonde woman in a black miniskirt. Lena? Yes, that was her name. Sam couldn’t, for the life of her, remember where they had met. Her legs seemed to go on for days and her hair cascaded down her back in soft layers. The halter-neck top she was wearing strained against her ample chest. Lena was hot.

Everyone stopped and stared as the woman bent down and whispered into Anna’s ear. Sam saw her blush. Whatever Lena had said, clearly had the desired effect. A pang of jealousy ripped through Sam. She waited to see what Anna would do next. Anna looked from Lena, to Kim, and then to Sam. Sam could see the pain on her face as she decided what to do. It seemed Anna was waiting for Sam to say something, which she didn’t.

No matter how she felt about this woman clearly hitting on Anna, it wasn’t Sam’s place to stand in the way. She lost that right when she drew a line under their relationship and marked it “friends only”.

Anna seemed to understand Sam without a word passing their lips. She saw Anna sigh with disappointment before turning back to Lena. Smiling widely, Anna stood and took Lena’s hand, who led her to the dance floor. Lena rested her hands on Anna’s hips, drawing her in closer. Sam was transfixed. She couldn’t look away, even though the sight was torturing her.

“If you want her, go and get her.” Sam jumped at the sound of Kim’s voice.

“It’s not that easy. I’m leaving on Sunday.”

“So what? Why are you torturing yourself? Have one last night together. You both clearly want it.”

Could they do that? Have one last night? Hadn’t the office been the end? Sam watched as Anna and Lena ground their bodies together in time with the music. Sam couldn’t give a flying fuck about Lena anymore. Her eyes were on Anna and Anna alone.

The second she had spotted her on the dance floor, Sam had wanted nothing more than to whisk her away to bed and make love to her one last time.

From Sunday, they would be apart. They’d have no more nights together—no more chances. Who was Sam kidding? She didn’t want to be friends with Anna. She wanted her for so much more and maybe just for tonight, she could.

The music changed, and Lena leaned in to talk to Anna. Sam watched vigilantly. Anna gave a little nod, and Lena disappeared to the bar. Anna stood to the side of the dance floor, waiting for her to return with another drink. That’s what Sam surmised from their interaction. The time was now or never.

“Kim, tell Hélène I left.” Without waiting for a reply, she walked with purpose to where Anna was waiting. She approached her from behind, slowly drawing herself into Anna’s back. Anna gave a small gasp as they touched. “One last night. Let me have you for one last night,” Sam whispered.

Anna turned her head slightly so she could glance over her shoulder at Sam. “Take me to bed.” Her voice was soaked in lust. Sam didn’t need to hear anything else. She stepped around Anna and took her hand, leading her to the door. Sam was going to make this a night to remember.

The car ride back to Anna’s apartment had been fraught with sexual tension. Sam had struggled to keep her hands from Anna’s body. It seemed Anna was struggling with the same problem because her hand had crept several times to the inside of Sam’s thigh. Each time, Sam had given a small groan in anticipation and each time Anna had squeezed her thigh in response before withdrawing her hand.

Even though the air was thick between them, they hadn’t uttered a single word since leaving the bar. Words weren’t necessary. They both understood what was happening and they didn’t need to discuss it. No more speeches, no more goodbyes.

Entering Anna’s apartment, they walked to the bedroom, hand in hand. Anna turned to Sam, placing her hands on Sam’s chest. Sam cupped Anna’s cheek, tracing it with her thumb. She brought her free hand around Anna’s waist, pulling her in. The kiss was slow and deep, their tongues met but didn’t do battle. Each caress danced in sync. They sank into each other, neither leading, but working as one.

They kissed until they ran out of air. Pulling back, their eyes locked. They undressed each other slowly; there was no rush. Tonight was about delicacy and passion. Their clothes were left scattered around their feet. Anna stepped backwards, lowering herself onto the bed. Sam watched, her gaze scanning along Anna’s body, memorising every beauty mark and every curve.

When she couldn’t wait any longer, Sam lowered herself on top of Anna, her thigh pressing into Anna’s centre. The move was met with a wanting gasp from Anna. Sam’s mouth hovered mere millimetres from Anna’s soft lips. She wanted to breathe her in entirely. Anna’s eyes sparkled; her pupils dilated. Sam wanted to give Anna everything she desired.

Their bodies moved in perfect rhythm, their eyes never breaking contact. As if they could read each other’s minds, they reached down and placed their hands between each other’s thighs, increasing the friction. Their breaths became staggered, sweat coating their bodies as they picked up the pace. Sam felt Anna tense and she knew she was close to coming.

“Oh, God,” Anna gasped. “Sam, I’m coming.”

“Come with me, honey,” Sam gasped.

“Oh…oh, yes…yes,” Anna moaned loudly. Her entire body shook. Sam pressed herself even closer, finally allowing her own climax to take over. They crashed over the edge together, holding each other, riding out their passion as one.

Their bodies stilled as they came down. Sam moved to the side and sank into the bed, her leg still draped across Anna, her head resting on her shoulder. They lay silent, steadying their breaths. “Will you stay tonight?” Anna whispered.

“Yes.”

Anna rolled onto Sam, straddling her hips. She lowered herself so her breasts rubbed against Sam’s as she rocked her pelvis. Sam could feel Anna’s wetness paint her stomach. She cupped Anna’s arse with both hands. Anna sat upright, her back arching as she rocked.

Sam wanted, no, needed , to taste her. In one smooth motion, Sam momentarily stilled Anna’s hips, slid herself down and took Anna into her mouth.

Anna’s moan was almost Sam’s undoing. She could feel a second orgasm beginning to build, and she wasn’t even being touched. She clutched Anna’s arse cheeks firmly, thrusting her deeper into her mouth. She ate her entirely.

Anna’s movements became wild. She grabbed the headboard with one hand whilst the other massaged and played with her own breasts.

Sam was like a woman possessed. The sight of Anna writhing and moaning only spurred her on. She was going to make Anna come, over and over again. It was her mission. Anna was trembling; her muscles taught. Sam pressed a little more until Anna dropped forward, screaming in sheer pleasure.

The room was dark. Only the light from the street illuminated their bodies, which were wrapped around each other. They’d made love to each other for hours, consuming each other repeatedly.

Sam lay awake, staring at the ceiling, with Anna sleeping soundly on her chest. It had been the perfect night. Sam felt a pang of guilt for abandoning her leaving party without saying goodbye; however, the feeling was fleeting as she noticed Anna hold her a little tighter as she slept.

The time had finally come. Sam had to go. They’d said all they’d needed to say and shared the perfect goodbye. Sam wanted to preserve this night in her memory for eternity. No matter how much she hurt, she couldn’t have asked for a better way for them to part.

Sam kissed the top of Anna’s head, breathing in her scent one last time before slipping out of bed and gathering her clothes.

Once dressed, she let herself look for a little longer at Anna lying so beautifully in her bed. “Goodbye, Anna,” she whispered, and with that, Sam was gone.

Twenty

A nna knew she was alone in bed before she even opened her eyes. Last night had been perfect, maybe too perfect. Now she was left with the stark reality Sam was gone. They’d decided not to pursue each other, but still they ended up in each other’s arms and bed.

Last night felt different, though. They both knew it was their last goodbye, so Anna understood why Sam had left before she had woken. Pulling the pillow from the other side of the bed, Anna took a deep breath and let Sam’s lingering scent fill her senses. She had a decision to make; either she could wallow in sadness at the loss of what could have been, or she could hold on to the precious gift they had given each other.

Releasing the pillow—and therefore Sam—Anna pulled herself into a sitting position, allowing a few more seconds to wallow in her feelings. Sam wasn’t supposed to leave Paris until tomorrow, but Anna wouldn’t be surprised to find she had taken an earlier train. Anna was under no illusion she was the only one that felt this pain deeply. Sam would be in the same boat, even if she didn’t feel as strongly for Anna as she did for Sam.

With one last sigh, Anna voiced the one thing she wished she could’ve said to Sam before she had left, “I’m going to miss you.”

Anna searched for her phone. She needed sustenance, and she needed a friend.

Anna

Morning! Any chance you want to swing by for a coffee?

Kim

Great idea, I need some fresh air. I’m not feeling wonderful right now :(

Anna chuckled to herself. She wondered how late the party had run after she and Sam had disappeared.

Anna

Any chance you want to grab the coffee on the way over, croissants too :)

Kim

I suppose I could, just for you. See you in 20.

Time to get up and ready for the day. Standing in the bedroom, Anna surveyed her kingdom. The thought hit her square in the chest. This apartment was hers for the foreseeable future. For once, she felt she was exactly where she wanted to be.

Kim strolled into the apartment twenty-five minutes later, armed to the teeth with caffeine and baked goods. Anna had given Kim a spare key as soon as she had signed the contract to the apartment. She smiled to herself as she watched Kim saunter about, preparing the little table with plates and cutlery.

The feeling she got watching her best friend warmed her body. It was only a few weeks ago that she would have been locked away in her old apartment, alone, possibly reading, with little chance of venturing out and even less chance of having a friend over. Wow, how things had changed.

“So, do we need to talk about it?” Kim slunk into one of the chairs at the table. Anna noted for the first time in their professional and personal relationship, Kim was not dolled up. She was wearing snug yoga pants, a long, oversized sweater, her hair was in a messy topknot, and she was wearing no makeup.

“No, we don’t.” Anna was more than grateful for Kim’s unwavering support. She’d never passed judgement, she’d never questioned Anna and Sam’s decision to just remain friends, and she’d never made Anna feel ashamed of her inability to stay out of bed with Sam, either.

“Sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. We said goodbye, she’s gone, and now we both move on. I just hope she doesn’t disappear completely.” Truthfully, that was the one thing still clawing at her. She hoped beyond anything that Sam would keep her word and be her friend. They were too important to each other. What they’d shared was too special to just forget.

“She won’t. I’m sure after a day or so, she’ll message you.” Kim squeezed Anna’s forearm gently.

“Yeah, I hope so. Thanks for the coffee, by the way. Can I just say that you look like balls this morning?” Anna laughed. Although Kim looked comfortable, she also looked like a woman who’d drunk far too much the night before.

“I look like balls? Well, that’s charming and not a very ladylike thing to say,” Kim huffed with fake outrage.

“My father’s sayings are sometimes appropriate,” Anna grinned.

“Well…I feel like balls if that helps. Why…why…why did I do shots?” Kim grimaced and dropped her head with a bang on the table. “Ow,” she mumbled.

Kim’s antics made Anna laugh. She was so happy to have avoided a hangover. “Drink your coffee and eat your croissant. You’ll feel better soon.”

They spent a pleasant morning by the window, chatting and drinking copious amounts of coffee. Kim eventually resembled a healthy-looking human being after an hour or so. “How are you feeling about Monday?” Monday was Anna’s first official day as “The Big Boss.”

“I’m confident. Marcus has spent a lot of time helping me with the transition. I think everyone in the office is happy and on board. Honestly, I’m looking forward to the challenge.”

“You’re going to be wonderful. Have you any plans, you know, to change things up?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you’re taking over from Marcus, who has been at the helm for a long time. Nothing has really changed for years. I just wondered if you had any plans to shake things up a little…you know, stamp your mark?”

Anna took a second to think about what Kim had just asked. Maybe she was on to something. This was a new beginning for Tower Publishing and she could think of a few things she had floated by Marcus over the years he had gracefully refused to look into. He was so set in his ways.

This was her chance to change things up—rock the boat a little. There had been an idea percolating in Anna’s mind for a couple of weeks now, and she knew it was the right thing to do. “I want to sign queer writers.”

“Wow, yeah, that’s awesome,” Kim chirped. “We have stayed with the status quo for too long,” she added seriously.

“I agree. Would you help me?”

“As if you need to ask,” Kim smirked. “Actually, I have a couple of manuscripts waiting for your perusal. I know it’s not right, but I put them to one side when they were sent in. I knew Marcus would dismiss them outright, and I knew you wouldn’t be able to change his mind. I read a few and there are some outstanding books in the making.”

“I’m just happy you had the foresight to keep hold of them. Let’s go over them tomorrow afternoon. I’ve planned a meeting first thing with everyone, just to get a feel for it all.”

“Brilliant, but I’m the one who plans the meetings, Anna. It’s kind of my job,” Kim chuckled. “I hope you’re not trying to make me redundant?”

Anna rolled her eyes. “Kim, I couldn’t function in my job or my life without you!”

Kim blushed at the compliment. “Well, good.”

Anna held up her coffee. “Here’s to our new adventures.” They gently knocked cups.

Anna’s first week had gone better than she could have ever hoped for. The entire team seemed overjoyed she was now in charge. They seemed to draw energy from it and had been more motivated than Anna had seen them in a long time, especially after she announced she was making it a mission of Tower Publishing to be at the forefront of queer publications. Anna hadn’t realised Marcus’s refusal to sign writers he considered “risky” had severely impacted the team.

“It’s not that we didn’t love working for Marcus,” Rachel said in the first meeting Anna had held. “It’s just that we were passing on some wonderful manuscripts. We lost some excellent authors to competitors,” she sighed.

It was true and a little unconventional how Marcus had insisted he had the final say on any manuscripts. That was Anna’s job and the job of her team. For whatever reason, though, Marcus wouldn’t relinquish control. His unwillingness to occasionally take chances on “risky” manuscripts had led Tower Publishing to become stuck. Why Marcus only accepted certain manuscripts, Anna could only guess.

Anna nodded along. She wanted her team to feel they could talk to her. It was the only way Tower Publishing would progress and become more successful.

“Rachel is correct. I had a wonderful manuscript. It was practically ready to go, but it barely crossed my desk before it was rejected,” Emanuel added.

“Okay, I hear you and I want you to know from the beginning that I trust all of your judgements. If you have something you think we should publish, but are unsure, bring it to my attention. We’re a small company and we have to work together to make it successful,” Anna stated. Every person in the room seemed to sit a little straighter and their smiles grow a bit wider.

Anna had every reason to be on a high. She was over the moon her employees were so responsive to her, and the bonus of her week was Sam had sent her a message.

Kim had been right. Sam had waited a couple of days before making contact. Anna didn’t realise how much she’d been worrying about Sam disappearing until she got the notification on her phone. She’d let out the biggest breath when she’d seen it was from Sam. The message hadn’t been long, but it was enough for now.

Another achievement in her week had been finally clearing all her belongings from her old place and moving them to her new apartment. Her nights had been spent unpacking and organising. She’d thrown away a lot of things she’d kept over the years, primarily having kept them out of laziness rather than for any sentimental reason. They didn’t bring her joy anymore, and she didn’t want her new digs to feel cluttered with things from the past.

The transition hadn’t been completely stress-free. James had turned up at the old apartment as she’d been removing the last of her boxes. Apparently, he still had a few belongings knocking around, which had surprised Anna. She thought he would have been long gone by the time she was ready to return to the apartment.

Their conversation had been awkward, to say the least. James had looked rough—unkempt, even. His hair was longer and he had a scraggy beard growing. He was the opposite of how Anna had seen him last.

“James, what are you doing here?” Anna couldn’t hide her surprise at his appearance.

“Just collecting the last of my bits,” he mumbled.

“Right, okay, well, I’ll be done soon and then I can leave you to it.”

James just nodded before packing some of his things into a box. Anna could see there was something wrong, but she wasn’t sure if it was her place to ask anymore. He just looked so dejected she couldn’t help herself. “Is something wrong?”

“I miss you,” he almost whispered.

The statement was so out of left field, Anna actually looked over her shoulder to see if he was talking to someone else. “Where’s this coming from?” It was difficult to understand what the hell was going on. They had both walked away feeling better after the split.

“I just think we may have been a bit too quick to end things. We were okay together…comfortable. I think we should give it another go.” The shock of what he was saying must have been clear on Anna’s face, because he quickly spoke again, apparently on a roll, “Just think about it, Anna. Our life was good. We had some fun times. I can work more on the romantic side if that’s what you need!”

“What I need is some clarification of where this is coming from, James. We both agreed, many times over, splitting up was the best thing for both of us. Honestly, I thought you would be in England by now with your friend Amy. You were clearly attracted to her.”

Anna saw tears pool in his eyes. That was when she understood. James was heartbroken, but not over her. It was over the woman in England. “You have been to England, haven’t you?” James nodded sadly. “I take it that things didn’t work out?”

James shrugged. “It is what it is. But maybe it’s for the best. Maybe it meant I was supposed to be here…with you.”

“No, James, it means you’re upset and you need to grieve the loss of your new relationship, not try to get back into one that was wrong from the beginning. And before you try to talk me into anything you should know that… I’m gay.”

James’s eyes had snapped up to Anna’s. “Gay?”

“Yes, gay. I’ve come out to my friends and family. I’m sorry if this upsets you, but you need to understand we will never be a couple again. I would still like us to be friends in the future, if that’s possible. I’ll let you think about it, but now I need to get on. I am sorry, James. I hope you can get yourself to a better place. I’ll see you around.” Anna left the apartment and never looked back. She felt for James, but she wasn’t about to get sucked into his drama. He had to sort his own life out.

So, with that minor exchange being the only downer of her week, Anna was overjoyed her first week was drawing to a close on such a positive note. A timid knock on her office door drew Anna away from her computer. It was almost time for her to leave for the evening. She had a hot date with Kim and a bottle of wine.

Anna looked up to see Rachel waiting and looking a little nervous. “Everything okay, Rachel?”

“Oh, yes, everything is great. I…I just have something I think we should consider, but I can see you’re busy, so I can speak to you on Monday.”

“No need. I’d be happy to look.” It wasn’t a lie. Anna was thrilled Rachel had brought her something new. “I told you to come to me if you had something. Stop looking so worried,” Anna chuckled, and with that, Rachel visibly relaxed.

“I sent it to you. The author is Camille Richards. She writes lesbian romance. She sent me her first draft last week. I know her through a friend of a friend. She lives in Paris and England. Not sure of her situation completely. Anyway, the book is raw and beautiful. It really is something special.”

“Well then, I’ll read it this weekend and get back to you. How does that sound?”

“Wow, that’s great. Thanks, Anna,” Rachel beamed. “I’ll see you Monday,” she called as she left.

Anna couldn’t contain her smile. She picked up her phone. There was only one person she wanted to talk to and share her week with: Sam.

The weekend had flown by in a blur. Anna spent the entire time wrapped up in Camille Richards’s manuscript. To say it had promise didn’t do it justice. Camille had written a beautiful, raw lesbian love story, not to mention she had written some of the steamiest sex scenes Anna had ever read. In fact, Anna had had to indulge in some self-service to relieve some of the excitement Camille had stirred with her words.

Anna sat behind her desk, waiting for Rachel to arrive. Three cups of coffee later, she was almost shaking with excitement. She hadn’t felt this good about her job…well, ever.

“Rachel!” Anna shrieked as soon as she saw Rachel sit at her desk. “Can I grab you for a few minutes?”

Rachel dropped everything and rushed to Anna’s office. She seemed just as excited as Anna. “Did you read it?” Rachel blurted, which made Anna chuckle. It was wonderful to see the energy radiating off of her. “Sorry, Anna, I mean, good morning,” she grinned shyly.

“Morning, Rachel, and to answer your question—yes, I read it, and your hunch was spot on. It’s an excellent manuscript. I want you to set up a meeting with Ms Richards as soon as possible, please.”

“Right away.” Rachel rushed out of the office, already dialling on her mobile. Anna watched Rachel speak. She was becoming more and more animated as the conversation progressed. After a couple of minutes, she returned to Anna’s desk with a triumphant smile stretched across her face. “Done. Camille will be with you this afternoon.”

“Excellent. I will take the initial meeting and then fill you in once I know if we can proceed.”

Rachel seemed more than happy with that idea. “Thank you, Anna. I’m so happy you have taken over and I’m so grateful you took the time to listen to my recommendation.”

“No, thank you , Rachel. Keep them coming. I trust your instincts completely.”

Anna’s Monday was off to a flying start. The morning rushed by as Anna prepared for her afternoon meeting. She was a little nervous, which was ridiculous. She took these meetings all the time.

Anna was engrossed in paperwork when she was interrupted by Kim, “Ms. Richards is here for you.”

“Thank you, Kim. Send her in.” Anna watched Camille as she approached the door. She was probably the same height as Anna. Her hair was almost white-blonde and in a very cute pixie cut. She wore fitted jeans and a figure-hugging T-shirt. Anna noted how Camille fiddled with the strap of her messenger bag as she walked into the office. She was clearly just as nervous as Anna.

“Ms Richards, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Anna Holland.”

Camille reached and shook her hand. She had a firm and steady grip. “Please call me Camille, and the pleasure is mine. I’m very grateful for your time.”

Anna gestured for her to sit. Her brief bout of nerves was replaced with her usual confidence.

“Let’s get straight to it, shall we? Rachel forwarded me your manuscript, and frankly, Camille, it’s brilliant.” Anna watched as Camille’s face blushed. Had she never received a compliment about her work before, or was she just not good at receiving them at all?

“Thank you… That’s very kind of you to say, Anna.”

“I’m not being kind. I’m giving you my honest opinion. Have you sent it to any other publishing houses?”

Camille shifted in her seat. “No, I have only shown it to a couple of friends. Rachel didn’t tell me until this morning that you’d read it and were interested.”

“Any reason you haven’t sent it to anyone?” Anna couldn’t for the life of her understand why Camille hadn’t sent it to every publishing house from Paris to Edinburgh.

“I just never considered it going anywhere, if I’m being honest. I’m a little self-conscious about my work.”

“Would you consider allowing us to publish it? We will work out a contract. You should have a lawyer look it over and then decide if you want to move forward.”

“Wow, that’s…well, wonderful. I would love to sign with you.”

Anna matched the radiant smile Camille wore. “That’s fantastic news. I won’t be personally handling you as a client. I think Rachel has earned that right. She will set up a meeting with you in the coming days to go over everything and explain what happens next. She will also be your first port of call if you have any worries or questions. How does that all sound?”

“Sounds great to me.” Anna noticed a subtle change in her demeanour. Camille’s nerves seemed to be replaced with something else. Anna couldn’t put her finger on it. Camille cleared her throat, “So, if you’re not handling my book…does that mean I’m free to ask you out?”

Anna was not expecting that. She stared at Camille in utter shock. Had she missed something? Where was the timid woman that had walked into her office just a few minutes ago? Camille now looked like the most confident woman in the world. “Umm…” was the only sound Anna could make.

“Sorry, unless you’re spoken for?”

“No, no, I’m single.” A flash of guilt and pain coursed through Anna’s chest as she thought of Sam. She had to wipe those thoughts out of her mind. Sam didn’t factor into her love life anymore. Anna couldn’t keep hurting herself repeatedly, hoping that Sam would magically appear and whisk her off her feet.

Sam was gone, and they were friends. Anna needed to move forward, and maybe moving forward with Camille was the perfect solution. She was good-looking, and even though Anna knew nothing about her personally, going on a date with her couldn’t hurt, right?

“I’d like to have a drink with you.” Anna felt a little heat licking at her neck.

“Wow, I am having a good day,” Camille grinned. “How about Friday evening?”

“Friday is good. Shall we say, eight? You choose the place and let me know. Here’s my card.” Anna produced her business card and handed it over.

“I’ll be in touch.” Camille stood and offered Anna another handshake. This time Camille held Anna’s hand for a beat longer than normal.

After Camille left, Anna sank into her chair, a little confused how the meeting had turned from Tower Publishing signing a new author, to Anna getting asked on a date. She could still feel the heat from Camille’s hand on her palm. Heat also pooled in her lower abdomen.

“How did it go?” Kim sat in the seat Camille had vacated a few minutes earlier.

“Really well. She wants to sign with us.”

“That’s great. We should celebrate this weekend,” Kim chirped. “How about we head to a bar after work on Friday? We can kick the weekend off with a bang?”

Anna blushed. “I can’t Friday. I have a date.”

Kim sat up ramrod straight. “Date? Since when?”

“Well, since about six minutes ago because Camille asked me out,” Anna giggled nervously.

“Bloody hell, that’s…that’s good, right?” Kim was obviously trying to gauge how Anna was feeling about it being someone other than Sam.

“I think it will be good for me. I need to try, Kim.” Anna was trying to convince herself more than anyone it was the right thing to do.

“Hey, you don’t have to persuade me, sugar. You do what feels right for you. I know how you feel about the Sam situation, so you do whatever it is you need to do to move on. I can’t wait to hear all the juicy details,” she laughed.

Anna smiled. “Thanks, Kim.” She hesitated. “Do you think I should tell Sam? She only left a week ago.”

“You’re trying to be friends, right? You would normally tell your friends about being asked out, so I would be honest with her. Look, it’s one night out. You’re not riding off into the sunset with Camille, and in all honesty, Anna, you and Sam decided a while ago you wouldn’t be more than friends. Sam left. You still have a life to live, and if someone as cute as Camille wants to woo you, then I don’t see why you should feel anything but happy.”

Anna nodded. She knew what Kim said made sense, but she still had a knot in her stomach. It would not be that easy to get over someone like Sam, but damn it, she had to try.

“I’ll give her a call this week,” she sighed.

“You’re not doing anything wrong, Anna.”

“I know that in my head, but my heart is telling me something different.”

Kim walked around the desk and wrapped Anna in a hug. “What’s meant to be, will be. I don’t know what’s in your future, love. Maybe you’re supposed to be with Sam, but you can’t wait around, hoping for it. You have to keep going and see what happens. Have a drink with Camille and see how you feel after—no pressure.”

Anna nodded. She had to see what her life looked like now, without Sam.

Twenty-One

“T here she is!” Charlie practically screamed the first morning Sam was back at Bright Lights . “Fuck me. You’re a sight for sore eyes.” Sam laughed at her best friend. She really had missed Charlie. “Give me a hug, you gorgeous lez.” Charlie didn’t wait for a response. She flung herself at Sam and gave her a bone-crushing squeeze.

“Bloody hell, Char, let me breathe.”

“Shut it, I need to love you,” Charlie quipped. “Why didn’t you let me know you got back on Saturday evening? I would have met you at the station.”

Sam hadn’t told anyone she had come back a day early. She didn’t know she would, herself, until she had left Anna’s apartment. The thought of being in such close proximity to Anna was too much. She’d had to get out of there as fast as she possibly could. She briefly saw Hélène before leaving. It was only fair, and thankfully, Hélène had been more than understanding. They’d promised to call and message, which Sam had every intention of doing.

“I just didn’t want to wait around—didn’t see much point, and it allowed me a day of sleep yesterday before starting back up again,” Sam lied.

“If you say so.” Charlie clearly did not believe a word of Sam’s bullshit. “Well, you’re here now. You ready to get back on it?”

“Ready and raring, I just have to check-in with John.” Sam dumped her stuff at her usual desk and headed to his office. Nothing seemed to have changed at all since Sam had left for Paris. Everything looked the same…felt the same. Actually, that was wrong; Sam definitely didn’t feel the same.

“Knock knock.” Cue an internal eye roll . She had to stop verbalising, knocking on doors.

John was expecting her, so she didn’t feel bad about walking in and interrupting him.

“Sam, what an absolute pleasure to see you again,” John beamed.

“Good to be home.” Was it?

“Sit down. Coffee?”

“That sounds great, thanks.”

John walked over to the coffee machine at the back of his office—although, “machine” was an understatement. The thing had to be industry grade, easily able to rival anything you would find at Starbucks or Costa. Sam wondered how much a thing like that must have cost; more than her monthly pay, she would bet.

“I know it looks ridiculous to have this monstrosity in an office, but the one thing I cannot forgo in life is a decent cup of coffee,” he chuckled.

“After drinking French coffee, I completely understand the need to stay away from normal office sludge,” she laughed.

John smiled as he made their drinks. After a few minutes of gargling and spluttering, the coffees were done, and by God, did they smell good.

“I have to say, Sam, you seem completely different from the woman who left her all those weeks ago. You sound different, too.”

“Honestly, I am. Paris…the project…was just what I needed. I loved every second, so thank you, John, for having faith I could pull it off.” He would never understand just how grateful she was.

“You did more than pull it off, Sam. You really blew my expectations out of the water. I couldn’t believe it when I saw your pieces. Rupert was overjoyed. He wants to schedule a call with you sometime over the next few weeks. Not sure when, though, he’s busy taking over the world right now,” John laughed.

“I look forward to talking to him. Now I’m back, what do you have for me?”

“Right, ready to get down to business. Excellent. Go and have a chat with Charlie. She has the details for all the upcoming projects. After Paris, you have earned the right to pick what you want.”

What I want… Isn’t that a loaded question?

“That’s great. Thanks again, John.” Sam chugged the rest of her coffee. She needed to get on with work. She couldn’t let her mind slow down—that was dangerous. That led to thinking about the one person she couldn’t think about.

“How’d it go?”

“Great. He’s happy, so that’s good.”

“And you? You’re happy to be home?” Concern clouded Charlie’s eyes.

“Yeah, of course I am.” Sam’s reply wasn’t very convincing, but Charlie knew Sam better than anyone, so she understood whatever Sam was feeling, she wasn’t ready to talk about it just yet.

“Cool. You wanna go for lunch and chat about your next project?”

“It’s not even ten o’clock, Char—a tad early for lunch,” Sam chuckled.

“Brunch then! C’mon, I can’t be arsed to sit around the office all day. God, if I have to listen to Sally harp on about her chuffin’ cactus obsession for one more minute, I’m gonna snap…like, legit snap.”

Sam laughed out loud. She loved Charlie’s dramatic nature. “Yeah, alright, let’s go. We can head into town.” They grabbed a cab into town and walked around, neither of them attempting to talk about work. They had too much to catch up on. Sam left out the parts about Anna. It was still too soon.

The rest of the week seemed to pass by quickly. Sam had spent some time going over some proposed projects, but there was nothing that really stood out. She’d had a taste of something wonderful in Paris and she wanted more. But as she perused through her options, she realised there was nothing on offer that even came close. A food shoot and a model shoot; nothing out of the ordinary, at all. Was this what she was going to have to contend with from now on? She felt irritated at the thought, but what could she do about it?

Really, what can I do?

Sam was more and more in her own head. She couldn’t get the idea out of her mind how she wanted to change things up, create something unique; something she could be proud of, something that was hers and hers alone. The question was: How was she going to do it and could she do it at Bright Lights ?

“You look serious,” Sandy said.

Sam was just staring into her morning coffee. She’d been back a week and she wasn’t settling in. “Just got some stuff on my mind,” she mumbled.

“Care to share, love?”

Sam let out a sigh. She needed to talk. Maybe getting her thoughts out of her head would help her decide what she wanted to do. “I just can’t seem to settle back into work, Mum. It’s not that I don’t want to work, it’s just there isn’t anything that inspires me. It’s all the same shit—nothing new or original, and nothing I want to put my name to.”

“So make a change. You’re not bound to the company forever, and honestly, Sammy, I thought you would have moved on long ago.”

Sam looked at her mum with surprise. “Really? Why did you think that?”

“All you went on about at uni was being a freelance photographer. You said you could take on the odd job here and there whilst working on your own projects. Did I get that wrong?”

Had she said that? Sam sat and delved into her memories. She remembered saying something along those lines, but it flabbergasted her that her mum had taken her so seriously.

“I’m really surprised you remembered that, Mum.”

“Why? You were so passionate when you said it. I was sure you would make it a reality and then…well, you didn’t.”

Christ, her mum was right. Well, when wasn’t she? Sam had planned to go freelance. She’d wanted the opportunity to work on her own projects, and hopefully get her work into galleries.

Well, that hadn’t happened and she knew why: Jo—that’s what had happened. Sam rolled her eyes at herself. “Is there anything I didn’t mess up when I met Jo?”

“Hey, enough of that, you’re past it. Look at yourself. Look how much you’ve changed since being away. It’s admirable and I’m so proud of you. Don’t give that woman another second of your time or energy. If you want to do something different, love, do it!”

Maybe her mum was right. Sam had gained confidence in her work again. She knew she could create something wonderful if she had the chance, but could she risk her steady income? Could she leave a company she had been with for years without knowing for certain she could make it on her own?

As if Sandy could ready her mind, she held Sam’s hand and said, “Love, don’t worry about money. I’ve got plenty and you can stay here or I can help you rent a place if need be. Don’t let fear stop you.”

“I can’t rely on you, Mum, it’s not right. I’m an adult. I need to take care of myself.”

“Normally, I would agree, but this time you’re wrong. It’s not a case of you mooching off me, Sam. I wouldn’t be giving you a handout. I would be investing in you because you have what it takes to succeed in anything you put your mind to. Think about it, seriously. If you’re ready to step it up, I’m right behind you every step of the way and I know Charlie will be there with bells on, too.”

Sandy gave Sam’s hand one last squeeze before leaving her in the kitchen, still nursing her coffee cup. Now, however, Sam didn’t feel dejected. Instead, she felt the stirring of something exciting. Could this be the opportunity to make her dreams come true?

Sam sat in the editing suite, skimming through her latest images. They weren’t anything to write home about, just another model in another fashion shoot.

God, this has to change.

It had been a few days since she’d spoken to Anna. She was so pleased Anna had understood her reason for leaving early. They were able to talk and message now, like they had when they were living opposite each other—without the flirting, of course.

Sam rolled her neck from side to side, glancing at the time. Lunchtime in Paris. She could see Anna sitting in her favourite café, sipping her coffee, chatting with Kim. A smile crept onto her face. God, she missed her. Without thinking too much about it, she pulled up Anna’s number on WhatsApp and called.

“Well, if it isn’t my favourite photographer,” Anna chimed.

Sam’s heart did a little skip. She couldn’t help how her body reacted to Anna’s voice. “Well, if it isn’t my favourite publisher,” Sam laughed.

“How are you? It’s been a while. Are you settling in okay?”

That was the question, wasn’t it? “Not really. I’m going out of my mind with the banality of the work. I think I want to do something different, but it could be risky.”

“Tell me.”

God, this woman was perfect. She always listened and took in everything Sam was thinking and feeling, making her feel supported and heard. “In uni, I wanted to do freelance work so I could have time to work on my own projects, you know…try to get my work into galleries. Obviously, I didn’t do that and now I’m regretting it. Do you think I could try now? Do you think it’s a good idea?”

Anna was silent for a few beats, and Sam knew she was mulling over her ideas. “Forget about before. You aren’t that person anymore. What do you want to do now?”

“I want to challenge myself—push myself creatively. I really want to make something I can be proud of.”

“Can you do that in your current position?”

“No, not without serious limits being put on me.”

“Then there’s your answer, Sam. If it’s something you’re passionate about, don’t hold back out of fear.”

“Mum pretty much said the same thing.”

“She sounds like a clever woman.”

Sam laughed, “Yeah, she is. You both are.” Sam fell silent for a few moments. Her mind was made up. “Fuck it, I have to do it. I have to go for it.”

“I’m happy for you. Let me know if I can do anything to help.”

“You’ve helped more than you could ever realise, Anna.”

Sam heard Anna sigh. It was a sigh she had heard time and time again after they’d resigned themselves to being friends instead of lovers. It was a sigh that signified Anna’s disappointment and frustration at their situation.

Sam was painfully aware Anna only agreed to stay friends so she didn’t lose their connection completely. Sam wondered if she were being unfair to Anna, keeping her close but not giving her what she really wanted—what they both really wanted.

“How’s your week going?” Sam wanted to break the awkward tension hanging between them.

“Great, actually. I signed my first queer author…well, the account is Rachel’s. She was the one who brought the manuscript to my attention. I met with the author on Monday afternoon. It went well, I mean, really well.” Anna was babbling. Sam knew she did that when she was nervous.

“Wow, congratulations. God, I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks.” Silence. “She asked me out…the author. She asked me out on a date,” Anna stuttered.

So this is what being stabbed in the chest feels like.

“Oh, right, wow.” Sam’s voice was shaky. “So when’s the big night?”

“Friday. It’s just drinks.”

“That’s so exciting for you. Let me know how it goes.” Sam did her best to sound supportive, even though she felt her heart being crushed to a pulp.

“Umm, okay… I have to go, Kim is giving me side eye. I promised to take her to lunch and I think she’s getting a little hangry,” Anna chuckled, although Sam knew it wasn’t her genuine chuckle, it was forced.

“Yeah, of course, no worries. Message me when you can. It was great speaking to you, Anna.”

“You too, Sam. Bye.”

Sam wanted to crawl under her table and assume the foetal position. She had no right to feel anything but happy for Anna. No right at all. She’d been the one who had walked away. Of course some gorgeous lesbian was going to come along and whisk Anna up. She was amazing and beautiful. Sam knew she had no right, but it didn’t stop her from feeling like she had lost Anna all over again, though, this time it felt more permanent because Sam had lost Anna to someone else.

Perhaps Anna had the right idea. Perhaps Sam needed to put herself out there, look for someone she could have a fling with. Nothing serious, just someone to help her along.

Shit, that sounded shallow. Was that who she was now? A woman who could only think about getting into someone’s knickers and then walking away?

Whatever. She had to do something. If she sat around, thinking about Anna and her upcoming date, she was going to going to go insane.

“Like, I’m super happy we’re going clubbing, Sam, er…just a little confused why, especially on a work night?”

“I fancied a night out, that’s all,” Sam lied. She hadn’t told Charlie about Anna’s date.

“Okay, fair enough. So, are we on the pull?”

“I’m not closed to the idea.”

Charlie looked at Sam with a mix of concern and confusion, but she didn’t question her motives—well, not to her face. “Alright, let’s do this.”

They opted to go to their favourite gay club. It was run down and in desperate need of a good clean. The floors had been sticky for as long as Sam could remember. The bar area was crowded, and the music pumped through the sound system at an obnoxious level, but it was just what Sam needed, something to drown out the noise of her own thoughts.

They threw back several shots in quick succession. The buzz of the atmosphere, and the alcohol, quickly seeped into every one of Sam’s cells. They danced their hearts out and drank without care.

Sam watched Charlie chat up a woman who was dancing with her friends. Charlie had definitely grown in confidence since their student days. She was smooth and charming, and she was clearly onto a winner with the pretty redhead.

Sam smiled at her friend, and then she smiled at the friend of the redhead. She was cute, with long brown hair, skinny jeans, and a top that emphasised her boobs.

Fuck it!

Sam danced her way over. The brunette was more than receptive. The dance quickly turned into grinding. Before she knew it, Sam had her hands all over the brunette’s body. She felt nice, but nothing compared to Anna’s delicious curves.

Stop it!

“I’m Lisa,” the brunette shouted.

“Sam.”

That’s all the conversation they needed. Sam wasn’t sure who made the first move, but in a flash, they were kissing furiously. Their mouths smashed together, their tongues fought, and their hands grabbed. Lisa took Sam’s hand and tugged her towards the toilets, crashing through the door and into one of the stalls.

Sam had Lisa pinned up against the door, her hand cupping one of Lisa’s breasts as the other snapped open her jeans. Sam thrust her hand into Lisa’s knickers, not giving herself any time to think. She stroked up and down whilst Lisa bucked into her, moaning into her ear. It didn’t take long until Lisa came, her body going slack in Sam’s arms.

They breathed heavily, holding onto each other. Lisa unzipped Sam’s trousers. She obviously wasn’t done with their toilet encounter, but Sam was. She felt sick. She couldn’t imagine anyone touching her the way Anna had. She didn’t want anyone touching her that way, either.

Before she could do anything, tears sprang from her eyes. What did I just do?

Lisa stopped and cupped Sam’s face. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I…I can’t. I’m sorry, we shouldn’t have done that,” Sam spluttered.

“Oh, shit, have you got a girlfriend?”

“No, no, nothing like that.”

“So, what’s the problem? You looked like you were enjoying it. I know I did.”

Sam couldn’t speak. She wanted to run…hide away until the shame of what she had done ceased to exist.

“I get it,” Lisa said. “This was an attempt to get over someone, right?”

Sam looked into Lisa’s eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, don’t apologise to me. I’ve been there. But take it from me: You can’t fuck yourself out of love.” They stared at each other for a beat before Lisa shifted toward the cubical door. “I’m gonna go. Will you be okay?”

“Yeah, fine. Sorry, again.”

Lisa left the stall, closing the door behind her. Sam leaned against the wall, willing herself to leave, but all she could do was let her tears fall. Minutes passed, but Sam still couldn’t move. The outside door opened. “Sam?” Charlie called.

“Yeah.” Sam’s voice broke as she spoke.

“Let me in.”

Sam flipped the lock and opened the door. Charlie leant against the opposite side of the loo and waited. “Anna has a date tomorrow.”

“So that’s what inspired our night out.”

Sam nodded. “I feel like an arsehole. I just screwed a random woman in a toilet of all places because I was so gutted the woman I walked away from is going on a date. She’s moving on.”

“Well, since you brought it up, why did you walk away?”

“What do you mean? I live in a different fucking country!”

“And? You never heard of long distance?”

“That’s bullshit and you know it. Long distance doesn’t work.”

“Whatever you have to tell yourself. There’s more to it than that, though. Am I right?”

Sam shifted her weight from side to side. “I can’t be in a relationship again, Char, not after last time. I’m only just getting myself into a good headspace. I can’t afford to lose myself to someone again. I couldn’t survive it.”

Charlie pulled Sam into a hug. “Anna isn’t Jo. Yes, you could get hurt, but that’s how it is, mate. If you’re not ready for a relationship, that’s okay, but just make sure that you aren’t denying yourself something that could make you happy, out of fear. Not all relationships will end as it did with Jo.”

Sam breathed in slowly. “Thanks, Char, I just need some time.”

“That’s fine. Take as much time as you need…but you can’t expect Anna to hang around without the promise of you guys moving forward at some stage. It’s not fair.”

“I never asked her to wait around.”

“Okay, but look how you’ve reacted to her going on a date. I think you have to decide if you can be friends. I mean, really think, Sam. You might not be together, but you could still hurt her. You’re not great at hiding your emotions. It’s only gonna take Anna to realising you’re jealous or unhappy once she meets someone, and then your ‘friendship’ will be ruined and you really will lose her from your life.”

Sam didn’t know what to say to that. She couldn’t think clearly anymore. “Can we go?”

Charlie nodded. “Yeah, let’s get out of here.”

What a mess. How the hell had she ended up like this? How could she be so clear about what she wanted professionally, but be so lost when it came to her personal life? The idea of committing herself to a risky future career-wise, invoked joy and excitement…but the idea of risking her heart and letting herself be with someone? That completely terrified her.

How long could she keep doing this to herself, and how, in God’s name, was she going to sort it out? One thing was for sure: she would never again try to shag Anna out of her system.

Twenty-Two

T ap tap tap tap tap tap… Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.

“Good Lord, will you please stop tapping?” Kim shouted.

“Hmm?”

“The bloody tapping, Anna, you’re driving me bonkers,” Kim shot back. Anna looked at Kim and then at the metal straw she was holding. She’d been in a world of her own and hadn’t realised she was banging the straw on the table. “We’ve been here for twenty minutes and so far, we haven’t had a single conversation. You keep drifting off and banging that bloody straw.”

“Sorry…sorry. I’m freaking out.”

“The date?”

Anna had been absent-minded every day since Camille had asked her out, and even more so since she’d spoken to Sam. “I’m just nervous.”

“Why, though? I mean, it’s not like this is your first ever date or your first date with a woman,” Kim smiled. Her irritation at the straw banging had slipped away. “Is there more to it than that? Maybe something to do with a hot Englishwoman?”

“She wasn’t happy. She didn’t say anything, but I know her and I could hear it in her voice.” Anna replayed the phone conversation with Sam in her head.

“Oh, doll,” Kim sighed, “I hate seeing you like this. I wish I could make it all better for you, I really do.”

“Me too,” Anna chuckled.

“Saying that, though, I still stick to what I have said one-hundred times already: Sam left. You’re still here and you need to live your life. Camille seems interesting. She’s hot, for one. Having a drink with her isn’t going to hurt. If you aren’t into her, then that’s the end of it, but don’t dismiss her without giving her a fair shot.”

“I know.” And in her head, she did know what Kim said was right. She completely agreed with Kim’s assessment of the situation, but she still couldn’t get her heart to jump on the “moving on” bandwagon.

“Figured out what you’re going to wear?” Anna groaned and let her head slump onto the table. “Stop. No need to get dramatic,” Kim chimed.

God dammit, why couldn’t she just be happy? Happy that a gorgeous woman had asked her out? She wasn’t being fair to Camille or herself. Tonight was something she should be looking forward to. She had the chance to meet and talk to someone new; a woman who was genuinely interested in getting to know Anna as a person, and maybe even wanting more than just a quick fling.

Enough was enough. Anna was going to put everything into this date and not think about anything else.

Hopefully .

Anna listened to the music she’d put on as it piped through her Bose speaker. It was filtering throughout the apartment. Her hips swayed to the rhythm. The random playlist offered her a mixed bag of songs to help her get ready for her date with Camille. Everything was going pretty well until she tried to decide what underwear to put on.

Time was ticking by, but Anna couldn’t commit. Too sexy felt like she was promising herself to Camille, even though Camille would have absolutely no idea what was beneath her clothes. But then again, too casual made her feel she wasn’t giving the date a real chance.

Anna wasn’t the type of person who had to have a set number of dates before taking things further. That was something she had discovered about herself since coming out. If she felt comfortable, she was open to exploring things sexually, no matter how many times she’d been out with the person.

Case in point: Sam and that wonderful first date. A shiver ran down her naked body as she fingered the lingerie she’d been wearing that night.

No, can’t wear those .

Snapping herself out of her memories, she grabbed a matching set with lace trim, but not too sexy.

Yes, they’ll do.

Earlier in the day, Camille had sent Anna the address of the bar where they’d meet. It’d given Anna a chance to google it and decide what clothes were in line with the vars dress code. Thankfully, Camille had chosen a laid-back place Anna had been to several times before. The atmosphere was light and often frequented by students. At least she could pop on some jeans and a T-shirt without feeling underdressed.

Anna gave herself a once-over in the mirror. Her black skinny jeans looked good, and the red V-neck T-shirt gave a little peek of cleavage without being too obvious. She’d pulled her soft curls into a ponytail.

Her hair was longer than she’d ever had it before. She’d often shied away from having it long because of the time it took to keep it well groomed, but now, with a bit of hair milk—which helped to tame the frizz—and a lot of conditioner, she was able to keep it looking sleek and soft with little effort.

Placing silver hoops in her ears and a couple of bangles on each wrist finished off her look. Her makeup was flawless. The dark, smoky-eye look was a definite win. She looked good.

Yes—casual and a little sexy.

The night air was warm, so a light jacket was all she needed. The bar was a ten-minute walk, which Anna appreciated. It gave her just enough time to walk off some of her nervous energy, but not enough to allow herself to overthink and panic.

The bar came into view as she rounded the corner. All the tables on the pavement were full, but none of the patrons were Camille. Anna took one last deep breath before pushing through the door. Camille was propped at the end of the bar, facing the door. Her face brightened as soon as Anna stepped in from outside.

“Hey,” she called, waving. Anna made the quick trip over and gave her the obligatory two-cheek kiss.

“Good evening, you look lovely.” Anna wasn’t lying. Camille wore a long summer dress and tennis shoes. She’d only used a little makeup to highlight her sharp features, and it made an impact. There was no denying Camille was a very good-looking woman.

“What can I get you?” Camille flagged the bartender.

“Rosé, please.” Anna smiled, but her nerves were bubbling close to the edge.

Camille was obviously good at reading body language because she placed her hand gently on Anna’s forearm. “Don’t be nervous. Let’s just have a good time tonight and see what happens.” Anna blushed at her obvious state of distress.

Good first impression, Anna.

“Shall we go out to the terrace? It’s not as crowded as in here or out front.” Anna nodded and followed close behind until they reached a table set back from the main terrace. Vining leaves hung from beams that covered the entire outside area. It was beautiful.

“So, thanks for coming out with me,” Camille said.

“Thank you for asking me,” Anna chuckled.

“Can I ask why you’re so nervous?”

Anna cleared her throat. “Honestly, you’re only the second woman I have been out with. I came out a few weeks ago, so it’s all still a little nerve-wracking.”

“Wow, congratulations. How are you feeling about it all?”

“I feel great. I can’t remember ever feeling so…me, I suppose.”

“Oh, I completely understand. When I came out, it felt like I’d literally shaken loose all this weight I’d been carrying around with me.”

Anna nodded emphatically. “Liberating, that’s the word. I feel liberated.”

“C’mon then, spill. Tell me all about it…that’s if you want to. No pressure.”

Anna grinned. Camille made her feel comfortable, which was a major tick in the “Pro’s for Dating Camille” column. She began her story, only covering the Sam part of the tale lightly, because, as happy as she was talking about her journey out of the closet, her and Sam’s story wasn’t for sharing.

“I’m so happy your friends and family were okay with it. I wasn’t as lucky. My dad threw a fit and didn’t speak to me for two years. Although, it didn’t really have anything to do with me liking women, but more the fact I’d messed up his plans for me. He’s a control freak, which is why I spend so much time in Paris.

“My parents divorced when I was sixteen. Mum is French, so as soon as they split, she came home. Thankfully, Dad is so wrapped up in himself he didn’t bat an eye when I decided to live with Mum for the majority of the time.”

“I’m really sorry to hear that, Camille. I can’t imagine what it must have been like having to deal with that.”

Camille shrugged. “No need to be sorry. Honestly, Dad is the worst; we always butted heads, so it didn’t come as much of a surprise he flipped his lid when I came out.”

“What about your Mum?”

“Different story entirely. She was thrilled—couldn’t wait to set me up,” Camille giggled.

Anna laughed. “Just like mine, then.”

It was surprising how much they had in common. After just an hour of conversation, they’d covered all the usual topics: books, music, art, and family. It was nice to know they had similar taste and interests.

They’d also had some playful banter and a little flirting. The only problem was Anna kept comparing Camille to Sam. She compared their looks, their humour, how they drank, walked, talked. Anna wanted to mentally slap herself.

“I just need to use the bathroom,” Camille said as she popped out of her chair and headed inside. Anna’s phone vibrated in her pocket and her heart skipped when she saw a message from Sam.

Sam

Have a great night, enjoy yourself. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do ;) Thinking of you xx

Anna frowned. What the hell? She could’ve sworn Sam had been upset when they’d spoken on the phone. Had Anna read the situation wrong? Did Sam really not care anymore?

Deciding entering into a text chat with her… What? Ex? No, they’d never put a label on it. Past lover? Better description than “ex”, she supposed. Well, no matter what they were—past tense—it didn’t seem like a good idea to start a text thread whilst she was in the middle of a date with another woman. She pushed the phone back into her pocket and tried her best to put all things Sam-related out of her mind.

“Fancy a walk?” Anna asked Camille as soon as she returned.

“Yes, that sounds great.” Camille smiled at her enthusiastically.

“Great.” Anna tried to match Camille’s enthusiasm. It wasn’t easy, not after Sam’s message. The truth was, the text had severely pissed her off. The fact Sam had sent a message in the middle of her date made Anna think she’d done it to screw up her night. She must have known what a message from her would do, right?

Anna watched as Camille walked toward the bar to settle their bill. There was a decision to be made; Anna could continue to explore things with Camille and go home with her—which she was almost certain Camille wanted, and maybe she did too—or she could say goodnight to her date and go home.

The problem was she still felt some residual anger towards Sam and she was sure if she went home, she would ruminate on Sam’s message for the rest of the night. Hell, she was already ruminating, if she were being honest. Why did Sam want to ruin her date? She had to have known it would unbalance her.

“Ready to go?” Camille gently guided Anna away from their table and towards the door. Anna didn’t reply. She only nodded as she walked. The air had turned chilly when they exited the bar. The long summer days were drawing in and Anna could feel autumn sweeping through the city. She took a big lungful of air. Decision time.

“So, tonight was nice.” Not a lie. They really had spent a lovely evening together.

“Could I interest you in a drink at my place?” And there it was! The question Anna had been waiting for. She just didn’t know how to answer it. Her brain was trying to untie all her feelings with little success. “Anna, I had a great night and I think you did, too. No pressure. Maybe I could just give you a kiss goodnight?”

Anna didn’t move. She just looked into Camille’s eyes. They were shining with want. Taking Anna’s non-answer as a bad sign, Camille stepped back. The movement shook Anna out of her head and back to reality.

“Kiss me.” There, decision made.

Camille leaned in and captured her lips. Anna closed her eyes, trying to be present in the moment…feel everything that was happening. The kiss was pleasant—soft and sensual—but it didn’t make her heart skip, as her many kisses with Sam had done.

Stop it. Sam’s gone.

Anna placed her hands on Camille’s hips and drew her closer. She was well and truly done thinking about Sam. Camille seemed more than pleased with Anna’s response and deepened the kiss by brushing her tongue against Anna’s lips. Anna opened her mouth and let Camille in.

For all she knew, the reason she was so hung up on Sam was because she was the first woman she’d dated and slept with. Maybe that’s all it was—an infatuation, because Sam was her first. If Anna had a chance to move on, perhaps Camille could give her a hand, so to speak.

Anna pulled back slightly so she could look into Camille’s eyes again. “Let’s go back to your place.” Camille grinned and turned to hail a taxi.

They rode in silence all the way to Camille’s apartment, which turned out to be in one of the most expensive hotels in Paris. Anna looked out of the window before turning to Camille with a confused look on her face.

Camille smiled. “My family owns the hotel… Well, the brand, actually. I have the penthouse on the top floor.”

“Wow, that’s…well, that’s a surprise. Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Anna was a little concerned why Camille had kept something so big from her.

“Honestly, I hate having to tell people. Too many unpleasant experiences with people who only want me for the family name and the money that comes with it. Not that I’m implying you would be like that. In fact, I wouldn’t have invited you here if that were the case. Sorry, I hope I haven’t ruined our date.”

“No, you haven’t ruined anything. Let’s go.”

Camille was a warm, kind woman. The thought of someone trying to take advantage of her was unpleasant. Anna could fully understand why she’d kept that information to herself until she was sure she could trust Anna.

Anna didn’t get to see much of the hotel. Camille was in too much of a hurry to get her upstairs. They moved through the lobby and past the bank of elevators. To the left of the lobby was a small corridor with a gold elevator at the end. Anna surmised it was a private lift for the penthouse.

The ride up to the top floor only took a few moments. When the doors slid open, one of the most beautiful sights of Paris Anna had ever seen, unfolded before her.

Camille’s penthouse boasted floor-to-ceiling windows that surrounded three-quarters of the building. Anna couldn’t help staring in wonder. She was still staring when she felt Camille wrap her arms around her waist, her mouth brushing against her neck. “You feel so good,” Camille whispered in her ear.

Anna closed her eyes. The feeling of Camille wrapped around her was nice. She enjoyed feeling wanted. Camille continued to kiss her neck, whilst her hand wandered up from her torso. Camille gently caressed Anna’s breast. Before Anna could register another thought, Camille slipped her hand under Anna’s top, lifting it up and off her body. Anna’s bra was quickly discarded next.

“Hmmm,” Anna moaned slightly. Camille’s hand felt good, especially when she felt her nipple being pinched.

“You like that?”

Anna nodded, not wanting to break the moment. Camille used her other hand to unbutton Anna’s trousers, slipping into Anna’s underwear.

Anna gave a small moan. “Oh…” That felt good.

Camille worked on her clit, slowly drawing circles. Anna closed her eyes and dropped her head back to Camille’s shoulder. Her heart raced as she tried to let herself be taken. The rhythm was nice, but not enough. She just couldn’t let herself go. Camille was doing everything right, but Anna couldn’t open herself up. It didn’t feel right.

Sam’s face swam in front of her closed eyes. Anna hitched her breath. She could feel Sam’s hands where Camille’s were touching her. She could feel Sam’s breath where Camille’s breath danced on her skin. Anna snapped her eyes open and jerked away from Camille, who quickly withdrew her hands.

“Are you okay?” she said with ragged breaths. “Did I hurt you?”

“No, God no, I’m sorry.” Anna was breathing heavily, but it wasn’t from excitement. It was from the shock of feeling Sam on her body when it was Camille that was touching her. “Oh God, Camille, I’m sorry, it’s not you…really it’s not.” How the hell had the night gone so wrong?

Camille stood for a second, assessing Anna as she fumbled with her bra and T-shirt, trying to redress as quickly as possible. “Tell me what’s happening.” Anna looked at her, unsure if she could articulate what was going on in her head. “Please.” Camille took a step towards her, her hand gently gripping Anna’s. “God, you’re shaking… Anna, did I go too far? Crap, did I pressure you into something you didn’t want?”

“No, Camille, I promise that’s not it at all. You did nothing I didn’t want you to do, but it’s complicated and I don’t know what I’m doing,” she sobbed.

Camille stepped into Anna’s space and hugged her. “Talk to me, please.”

Anna took a few seconds to steady herself. She owed Camille an explanation. “I told you briefly about Sam, my first.” Camille nodded and waited for Anna to continue. “It was more than just a few dates. We got serious, but she had to leave and I don’t think I’m really over it.” Anna was still shaking.

“I see.” Camille turned her head away from Anna.

“I thought I would move on once she’d left, but I’m really struggling. The way we met isn’t your usual story. It was intense from the beginning,” Anna blurted.

“Okay…tell me everything.” Anna did as Camille asked. She explained her history with Sam. Camille didn’t move the entire time Anna talked. She just listened silently.

Anna stared at Camille, waiting for her to say something. It had been a couple of minutes since Anna had finished talking. “Thank you for telling me and thank you for stopping before we went any further this evening.”

Anna sucked in a breath. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting Camille to say, but that sure as hell wasn’t it. “Um, okay,” Anna mumbled. What more could she say?

“I like you, Anna, but I won’t be your compromise. I deserve better than that.”

“Of course you do. I’m so, so sorry, Camille.”

“Don’t apologise for being in love with someone else.”

They stood for a second, looking at each other. “I really enjoyed your company tonight. I’d like to try for friendship if you think that’s still possible?” Camille really was a great person. Anna would be lucky to have a friend like her.

“I’d like that, too. Maybe just give me a bit of time to get over tonight.” Camille smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Of course.” The night hadn’t ended how Anna thought it would, but at least she hadn’t completely buggered everything up.

On the way home, her anger resurfaced. Fuck you, Sam. Fuck you for making me feel this way and fuck you for leaving!

By the time Anna stepped through her apartment door, her hands were shaking with rage. She snatched her phone from her pocket and dialled Sam’s number. It rang and rang until she reached her voicemail.

“You’ve ruined me, Samantha Chambers. Ruined me for anyone else. I hope you’re fucking happy,” she bellowed into the phone, before cutting the call and throwing it across the living room.

“Fuck you, Sam,” she shouted into the room before dropping to the floor in tears.

Twenty-Three

S am couldn’t ignore the incessant banging on her door any longer. She’d tried for the past ten minutes to block it out, but whoever was doing it was in no hurry to give up.

“For fuck’s sake,” she grumbled as she heaved herself out of bed. She stomped towards her bedroom door, only pausing for a second to unlock it before returning to her safe haven.

“What in Christ’s name is going on?” Charlie shouted as she barrelled into the room. “You’ve been AWOL all weekend. I thought you were just working Friday when you stood me up, but then you go off the grid completely and now I find you hiding in your hovel. Jesus, Sam, crack a window and then talk to me. Please.”

Sam didn’t move. Her bed covers had kept her hidden for the past forty-eight hours, and she wasn’t ready to leave. Charlie had other ideas, though, because the quilt—or “cone of safety” as Sam thought of it—was abruptly ripped off of her and flung on the floor. Sam lay there, looking into the concerned eyes of her best friend.

“Well?” Charlie pushed. Sam couldn’t take it. Her well-constructed walls took all of two seconds to crumble under Charlie’s stare. Tears rolled down her face and her body shook.

“Bloody hell, Sam. What happened?” Charlie climbed onto the bed to comfort Sam.

“I fucked up, Char, I really fucked up,” Sam sobbed.

“Okay, you’re gonna have to narrow it down, mate. There are plenty of things you could fuck up, but surely it can’t be that bad. You didn’t kill anyone, right? It’s okay if you did, I’ll help hide the body.” She squeezed Sam as she spoke, offering comfort with her comedy.

Sam chuckled, but it came out as a weird hiccup. “I know you would,” she sniffled, pretty sure she was getting tears and snot all over the place.

“What did you do that’s so bad?” Charlie pressed.

“I fucked everything up with Anna,” she cried. “I’m the world’s biggest arsehole. I should have listened to you.”

“Well, you should always listen to me, but remind me which piece of magnificent advice I gave you that you ignored.”

“You told me I could still hurt her, and you were right. I did. I’m a selfish twat.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, alright, enough of the self-hate. Fill me in on what happened.”

Sam stilled her sobbing. “I sent her a message in the middle of her date. I told her to have a good time, and that I was thinking about her. I even threw in a ‘don’t do anything I wouldn’t do’ with a fucking winky face. I knew she would be out already, but I sent it anyway because I was stupid and jealous and I didn’t want her to forget about me. I knew once I’d sent it, it was a dick move. I practically forced myself into her night and it got ruined and now she is so angry at me.”

“Oh, mate,” Charlie sighed.

“I know. I wasn’t thinking clearly. I just couldn’t stop the thought of her with another woman from running through my mind.”

“You chose to leave, Sam. You can’t stop her from seeing other women.”

“I know!” Sam screamed, pushing away from Charlie. “I know what I did. I know it was my choice to leave her.”

“So make it right, then.”

“How? She left me a message on my phone. I saw her calling that night and I was a complete chicken shit. I let it go to voicemail. It took me two hours before I could listen to it,” Sam cried again. Her tears were falling rapidly. “She told me I had ruined her… Ruined her for anyone else.”

“Did you call her back?”

“I tried, but she sent me a message telling me to leave her alone.” Sam fell to her knees and sobbed.

“I think you have to leave her alone then, mate. It’s clear you can’t be just friends. There’s too much emotion. You’re just gonna hurt each other over and over.” Charlie moved to Sam’s side and stroked her back tenderly.

Sam nodded. Charlie was right. If she couldn’t give Anna what she needed, she had no right to interfere any longer. The idea they could be friends was laughable now. They’d shared too much. Their connection was too strong to just be friends.

Sam’s heart ached. Why, oh why, couldn’t she move past her issues? Anna was perfect. She understood Sam like nobody else, except Charlie, maybe.

No matter what she did, though, Sam just couldn’t push past her fear and panic. She’d been hurt by Jo, but she knew if she gave herself to Anna completely, Anna had the power to obliterate her heart if it went wrong. No, she wasn’t prepared to risk it.

“I’ll leave her alone,” Sam whispered to herself more than Charlie. It was the right thing to do. Wasn’t it?

“Mum… Mum… Mother!” Sam shouted as she flung herself down the stairs from her bedroom.

It had been two weeks since Sam’s meltdown over Anna’s date, and in that time, she’d had no communication from her. It had taken Sam another twenty-four hours following the initial forty-eight hours of hiding away after the disastrous evening before she’d felt strong enough to leave her room. She’d stick to her word and leave Anna be. She wouldn’t inflict any more pain.

“What’s with the screaming? It’s eight in the morning, Sam, Jesus,” Andy groaned. Sam’s bellowing could have woken the neighbours two streets down.

“Have you seen her?” Sam snapped.

“No, I was peacefully sleeping until you started screaming like a bloody banshee!”

Sam ignored him and pushed past into the kitchen. Her mother was nowhere to be seen.

She must be in her studio.

The morning was chilly. A slight frost had set on the ground, but Sam didn’t care. She didn’t even stop to put shoes on. The wet grass tickled her feet and soaked the bottom of her trousers as she marched towards her mum’s art studio. None of that mattered, though. She needed to speak to her mum, pronto.

Sandy was in her studio, sitting in front of a blank canvas, when Sam stormed in. “What’s this?” Sam demanded, pointing at her smartphone.

Sandy turned slowly. “It’s your phone, love.”

“Yes, I know that. What is this ?” Sam thrust the phone toward her mother, pointing at the screen.

Sandy squinted and leaned towards the phone. “It’s your banking app.”

“Jesus fu… Yes, it is, but what is that ?” she demanded as she pointed at the enormous balance showing on her screen. She’d thought it was an obvious banking error at first, but then she saw who had made the transfer.

“That is your bank balance, love. Bloody hell, Sam, should I be worried my daughter, who is in her thirties, doesn’t know how to use her banking app?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Mum. Why in God’s name have you transferred that amount of money into my account?” Sam was losing patience, something that was already in short supply nowadays.

Sandy blew out a breath. “First, calm down, love, you’re gonna give yourself an ulcer. Second, the money is yours. I’ve been saving for the last twenty-odd years, and now it’s time for you to make use of it.”

“No, you’re going to need to do better than that, Mum. This amount of money doesn’t just accumulate from you sticking a few quid away each month. This is more than I will probably ever make in my lifetime.”

“Fine,” Sandy said, rolling her eyes. “I made that tidy sum selling my paintings.”

“Okaaaaay.” Sam waited, hoping Sandy would elaborate a little more.

“You have your dad to thank, really.” Hearing about her dad always brought a sense of deep loss to her, even though she had been too young to know him. “When I met your dad, I was a struggling artist, like most artists, I suppose. We were so in love and he was so supportive of me. He worked like a dog, earning as much money as possible, so I could paint without having to get a second job. He was a wonderful man,” Sandy choked. Sam hadn’t seen her mum upset about her dad in a long time, or maybe she was just a selfish shit and hadn’t been paying attention, too wrapped up in her own life.

Sam sat next to her mum and slung her arm around her shoulders. “Mum, you okay?”

“Yes, love, don’t worry. It’s just nice to talk about him. It reminds me of how wonderful he was…it makes it feel like he’s still here.” Sam nodded as she held her mum. “Anyway, once I had the time to commit to my art, things really took off. I sold several pieces. Your dad was over the moon. In fact, you were conceived after my fifth sale.”

“Eww, Mum, gross,” Sam shuddered, and Sandy chuckled.

“The only part I didn’t like was the publicity. It took me away from the simplicity of painting. I hated having to kiss the arses of gallery owners and stuck-up art critics, so I began selling my work under a different name. I stopped doing public functions and large galleries. Your dad thought I was making a mistake. He worried people would lose interest if they didn’t see me or get to engage with me. He was wrong, bless his heart. For whatever reason, the mystery just poured fuel on the fire and my sales exploded.

“I only need to sell one painting a year now and that’s only for my pocket money, really. The house is paid for, and the rest has been put in savings for you. Your dad had done everything he could to support me, so after he died, I knew in my bones he would have wanted you to have the same support. But he couldn’t be here to do it, so I did it for him. That money, Sam, is for you to live your dream, just like I did. Take it and open your own business. Do what you dreamt of doing all those years ago.”

Sam sat silently. She was in shock. Her mum had never, not once, divulged the fact she was loaded. “I don’t know what to say,” she stuttered.

“You don’t need to say anything, my love. Just take it and make your dreams come true. Your dad would be so proud of you, button.” Sandy turned and kissed Sam’s head.

“Thanks, Mum, I…I can’t thank you enough for everything. I don’t mean the money. I mean everything. You’re the best mum in the world and I love you.”

Sandy pulled Sam into a tight squeeze. “Love you too, darling. Now, are you ready to take the leap—take your future into your own hands?”

“Yeah, I’m ready.” And she was. Her love life might be a complete shitshow, but she knew her professional life was going to be just fine. She was a rock star behind a lens.

“I’m heading into the office. I think I need to have a chat with John.”

Sandy nodded. “Go get ’em, kid.”

Sam walked into the office with a purpose. Her one goal for the day was to hand in her notice. “Cory, is John around?”

“You’ve got five minutes,” she chirped as she typed maniacally on her computer, never once looking up. Well, that was easier than she thought it would be. Sam gave the door a confident knock.

“Yes,” John shouted. Sam pushed through the door and approached John’s desk. “Sam, how are you, everything alright?” He briefly looked up from the paperwork scattered across his desk.

“Absolutely fine, John. I wanted to tell you I intend to hand in my notice by the end of the day.”

She watched John’s face drop along with the paperwork he was holding. “Your notice? Why? What’s happened?”

“Nothing’s happened. The trip to Paris reminded me how all I ever wanted was to be independent. I’ve been in a rut for so long, John, but I finally feel like I can do it. I can go out on my own. I can’t thank you enough for the kick up the arse you gave me. You’ll never know how grateful I am. I’m sure it doesn’t feel like that right now, with me buggering off and all, but I am…grateful, I mean. I need to do this, John, for me. I could, and most likely will, cock it all up, but I need to try.”

John sat for a few moments, processing what Sam had just said. She watched as he tilted his head from one side to the other, mulling over how he was going to respond. “Well, I can’t say it’s a total shock. After I saw your work from Paris, I knew you weren’t going to be satisfied here for much longer. I thought we had a bit more time, but I understand. You’re a gifted photographer, Sam. I have no doubt you are going to succeed.”

Sam swallowed hard. “Wow, thanks John.”

“Don’t thank me, just go out there and show everyone what you’re capable of. That’s all I want from you.”

“You’re, like, the coolest boss ever. Anyone ever tell you that?” she chuckled.

John laughed along with her and then sighed. “It puts me in a bit of a shitty position losing you and Charlie, though.”

Sam looked at him, not understanding his sentence at all.

He grinned. “She didn’t tell you, huh?”

“Tell me what?”

“A few weeks ago, she popped in to tell me, that when you came in here to hand in your notice, I was to accept hers as well. She said she had no idea when you would do it, but she was more than confident you would.”

“Sorry, I’m a little confused. She told you I would hand in my notice a few weeks ago?”

“Yep, waltzed right in to let me know when you go, she goes.”

“Can you excuse me?” Sam was already walking towards the door. “I think I need to clarify what the hell she’s playing at.”

“Do that and then come back. Rupert wants to chat.”

“Yeah, right, okay.” Sam was only half listening. Her mind was firmly on her best friend.

What is Charlie thinking?

Sam found Charlie lounging at her desk, her headphones blaring as she stared into space.

“Oi.” Sam jabbed Charlie in her shoulder.

“Hey, what was that for?” Charlie grumbled, yanking her earphones out.

“I could ask you the same question.”

“What’s got your knickers in a twist?” Charlie shot back, rubbing her shoulder.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe finding out you told John you would be leaving.”

“I only said that when you handed your notice in, I would too.”

“Why would you say that? You love it here. You’ve just been promoted, for Christ’s sake.”

“Yeah, I’ve loved it here—past tense. I’m ready for the next challenge as well, Sam. You’re not the only one with bigger dreams. You’re my best friend. I want to be with you for the next adventure. What’s wrong with that?”

Sam couldn’t find a single reason why Charlie shouldn’t do exactly what she wanted. Who was she to dictate what her friend could do?

“You really want to come with me?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely, I do. I think we can do anything we want when we put our minds together, Sam, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do!” Sam laughed. “Come here.” She grabbed Charlie off her chair, yanking her up into a mammoth hug. “Are we really doing this? Me and you—our own company?”

“Yeah, we are, but it’s your company, Sam. I just want to be able to do my thing, no pressure. You cool with that?”

“I’m cool with that, Char.”

“Glad we sorted that part out, then. We should probably make some time to sit down and come up with a proper business plan. I’ve got some savings I can put forward, but we might need to look at loans to really get us started.”

“Yes, we need to chat, but no, we don’t need to worry about money. I’ll explain later. I have to go back to John’s office. Rupert wants a chat. Pizza and beer tonight, okay?”

“Cool, check ya later, woman.”

Sam rolled her eyes and left Charlie to lounge at her desk again. The morning was turning out to be better than she could’ve hoped for. At least one thing was going well… In this part of her life, anyway.

The call connected after the second ring. Rupert’s voice boomed out into John’s office, “Samantha Chambers.”

Sam hesitated a moment, unsure if Rupert had finished talking, “Hi Rupert, good to finally put a voice to the money.”

Shit, did I really just say that?

Rupert’s deep laugh echoed in the room. “You’re a firecracker, but I wouldn’t expect anything less. Your work blew my damn mind!”

Sam chuckled. It was difficult not to laugh listening to Rupert talk. He sounded like the poster boy of a stereotypical Texan. He must be at home on his ranch right now in a Stetson and cowboy boots, chewing on a strand of hay or something.

“Thanks, I appreciate the compliment.” She grinned at John, who wore a brilliant smile on his face, something akin to pride glinting in his eye.

“I want you to showcase the work before it’s shipped over,” he bellowed. The man didn’t seem to have a volume setting below shouting level.

“Showcase it?” Sam questioned, looking quizzically at John.

“John, you didn’t tell her?” Rupert blustered.

“No, Rupert, I thought it should come from you, my friend.” John winked at Sam.

“Good thinkin’! So, Sam, I want to throw a party—a party that shows off those remarkable prints and lets the world see what you’re capable of. You worked hard and I want to show my appreciation. I want a real soiree: invites, Champagne, tiny sandwiches you English like, oh, and a gallery worthy of showing your work.”

Sam was speechless. Her work had never been shown in a gallery. It was her dream, but she didn’t think it would come true like this. “Are you serious?” she spluttered.

“As a damn heart attack. John, set it up and put it on my account. You got it?”

“I got it, Rupert.” John laughed at Sam, who looked like a goldfish with her mouth gaped open.

“Next item of business. Sam, I’ve got another project for you. I’ll need to fly over there. I’m thinking next summer. You good with that?”

A sudden feeling of unease crept over her. She wouldn’t be here next summer. She cleared her throat, ready to decline. She didn’t think that many people said no to Rupert often. “I’m sorry, Rupert, I won’t be here at the end of the year. I gave my notice today. I’m starting out on my own.”

“Well, shit!” he exclaimed loudly. “Sorry, John, you know I don’t like to take my business away from you, man, but Sam’s the photographer I need.”

Sam snatched her gaze from the phone to John, searching his face for a reaction.

“That’s okay, Rupert. I can still count on your commercial business, right?” he replied. Sam couldn’t believe what was happening.

“John, you know my commercial business is always gonna be yours.”

John nodded, seemingly satisfied with Rupert’s answer. “Then I couldn’t be happier you will be Sam’s first client. Congratulations to both of you.” Sam felt the smile spread across her face. She had a goddamn client!

“Great, let me know about the party. I’ll be there. Speak soon, guys.” And with that, Rupert hung up. Sam sat staring at the phone.

“You okay, Sam?” John chuckled.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good. That was just a lot.”

“Sometimes things happen for a reason, you know. Take the opportunities given and make the most of them.”

“I’ll try. Thanks, John, really, thanks so much for your support.”

“Anytime, Sam, now bugger off back to work.”

Sam left John’s office, her mind buzzing. Today had been an almost perfect day.

Almost.

I miss you, Anna.

Twenty-Four

A nna ran her fingers over the gold-embossed writing for what seemed like the hundredth time. For a while now, she had kept herself in a routine. She would arrive early, grab a coffee, open her laptop, and pray she could concentrate, which had been proving almost impossible since the disastrous date night with Camille.

Today hadn’t started out any differently—until Anna had walked to her desk to set up her laptop. Her attention had been caught by a glossy black piece of cardstock that lay on her desk. She was sure it hadn’t been there the night before.

Curious, she’d abandoned her laptop to inspect the card. As she scanned the fine gold lettering, Anna’s heart dropped to her stomach. The card was an invitation addressed to Tower Publishing . It was also an invitation to celebrate Samantha Chambers and her project, simply named “Paris”. There was going to be a formal soirée in London at one of the city’s most prestigious galleries.

The invitation shouldn’t have come as a shock. She’d been in talks with Rupert and John about the book and they’d wanted copies sent over for the party.

Anna hadn’t spoken to Sam for almost a month now; not since she’d sent a message asking Sam to leave her alone. The text she’d received from Sam on her date with Camille had been the final straw. Anna now knew she’d been kidding herself in believing they could remain friends. The way they’d left each other in Paris may have been amicable, but it had been far from resolved.

After a few bottles of wine with Kim on the night after the date, Anna had worked through several things. The most important being she and Sam hadn’t said goodbye to each other because they were incompatible or lacked feelings—in fact, that couldn’t have been farther from the truth—they’d stopped their budding romance because Sam had needed to return to the UK and wasn’t in the right headspace to make a relationship work.

So, with that being the cause of their separation, how could they ever possibly be friends when they still had so much emotion and chemistry coursing between them? The short answer: They couldn’t.

It was now clear to Anna, if they continued down this road, they would never be happy. Their unresolved emotions and feelings towards each other would be a constant source of jealousy. How could either of them watch the other start a relationship with someone else? It wasn’t possible, nor was it healthy.

So here she was, sitting at her desk, running her hands back and forth over the invitation. It was a professional invite, that was all, but it didn’t make Anna feel any better about accepting. Maybe she could get away with sending someone else in her place. That would be okay, right? No, of course it wouldn’t. Anna knew it wouldn’t before she’d even asked the question. She was the co-owner of Tower Publishing and she’d been the one to work alongside Sam on the book. It would be highly unprofessional to snub the party.

One thing was for sure, though, Anna would need reinforcement—also known as Kim. If she were going to get through the party in one piece, she needed her support. She looked at the date—still two weeks away—leaving her plenty of time to prepare herself, both mentally and emotionally.

“Kim,” Anna shouted as soon as she saw her walk in the door. “Can I borrow you for a sec?”

Kim dropped her bag and skipped into Anna’s office. “Alright, doll, you have a good evening?”

“TV and wine. That counts as a good evening, right?” Another depressing routine she’d formed: arriving home from the office late, showering, dressing in her baggiest and comfiest clothes before sitting in front of her TV with a bottle of wine and takeout.

“Nothing wrong with a bit of self-indulgence, if that’s all it is.” Kim raised her eyebrow, her tone laced with concern. Anna didn’t answer. She slid the invitation across the desk to Kim and waited. Kim scanned the card, letting out a little sigh before looking at her friend. “You okay?”

“Fine… I’m fine. Can you put the date in the diary and arrange the transport and hotel for us both? I’d like you to come along if that’s okay with you?” It was taking all of her resolve to not let her voice crack, revealing the fact she was far from “fine”.

“Of course, I’ll do it this morning.” Kim paused. Anna could see Kim wanted to say something else but was conflicted about whether to say it.

“Just say it,” Anna sighed.

Kim nodded resolutely. “Fine, I’ll say it, but I’m not sure you’re going to like it.” She took a quick breath before continuing. “You’re not okay, Anna. You haven’t been for a long time. Not since Sam left. I can’t speak on Sam’s behalf. She had her reasons for leaving, but I can speak on behalf of what I’ve observed with you.”

Anna swallowed hard.

“You’ve had a tremendous year so far. So much has changed for you and you have done yourself proud with how you’ve handled it. Coming out must have been so daunting, and changing your life just as scary, but, Anna…you did it! I have watched you embrace everything except for this thing with Sam.”

Anna was shocked. What did Kim mean she hadn’t embraced her relationship…fling…or whatever the hell it had been, with Sam?

“How can you say that? You’ve seen what a mess I am.”

“Yes, I’ve watched you cry and mope, but what I haven’t seen is you fighting—fighting for her or for your relationship.”

“There’s nothing to fight for! Sam made that painfully clear when she left.”

“Oh, bollocks did she! If Sam or you didn’t want this, you would have said goodbye and left it at that, but no, the both of you have been hanging on to something, pretending it’s friendship. As I said, I don’t know Sam well enough to understand why she ran away, when clearly, she wants nothing more than to be with you.

“Everyone who saw the two of you could see that you were both in lo… Both wanted to be together. You wouldn’t have been so conflicted about Camille, and Sam wouldn’t have been jealous enough to interrupt your date, if there was nothing serious between you.” Kim took a breath. Anna was not feeling very friendly towards her best friend right now, but she said nothing. She waited to see what else Kim had to say, no matter how wrong she was.

“Stop kidding yourself this was just Sam’s decision. You didn’t fight her on it, you let her leave without being honest about how strongly you felt—feel. Why are you so scared to go after what you want? You’ve done it in every other aspect of your life, Anna. Why not with Sam?” Anna was speechless. “Truth time,” Kim added.

“Truth…you want the truth! I don’t know what the truth is,” Anna shouted, her emotions no longer bubbling at the surface. They had burst free and were on the warpath. “What do you want me to say? We had a wonderful time together. I’ve never felt a connection like that with anyone. She swept me off my feet and took my breath away, and then she left and ran away without looking back.”

“She looked back every time she contacted you, but why did you let her go if you feel like this? Why didn’t you fight for her?”

“Because, what if all I’m feeling is infatuation? What if I only feel like this because she was my first?”

“I call bollocks again, Anna…your connection with Sam came well before you fell into bed. You connected with her on a level I can’t even understand. You dreamt about her before you met in person, for heaven’s sake.”

“That’s all well and good, but it makes no difference how I feel if she doesn’t want the same thing.”

“Well, did you ever ask her why she didn’t want to commit? Or did you let her give you a half-arsed excuse and let it go?”

Anna felt her face turn red. She knew she hadn’t pushed for the reason Sam couldn’t be with her. She hadn’t questioned her reasoning at all. She’d just accepted it.

“I’m guessing by that look on your face, I hit the nail on the head.” Kim stated.

“Yes, you’re right, I didn’t push, but so what? Even if I knew the reason it wouldn’t mean anything. I can’t force her to be with me. I deserve better than that, Kim.”

“Of course you do, but you’re assuming she doesn’t want to be with you because she doesn’t feel as strongly for you as you do for her. Her reason could be something you guys could work through together.”

Anna puffed out a breath. She was done with this conversation. “Have I got anything going on that can’t be rescheduled until Monday?”

Kim was taken aback by the abrupt change of subject. “Er…no, I can rearrange your schedule.”

Anna couldn’t look Kim in the eye any longer. Her friend had thrown her into a tailspin and she need to get away. “Do it. I’m leaving for the weekend. I need some space.” She gave a curt nod, signalling her friend’s dismissal.

Kim nodded and left the office. It was the first time they had come close to an argument, and it felt awful.

Anna would deal with that later. Right now, she needed to get out of Paris, out of her head, and she knew exactly where to go. For the first time in years, Anna couldn’t wait to go home to her parents.

Anna called her mum when she was already halfway into her journey. To say her mum sounded surprised at her impromptu visit, would be an understatement. She wasn’t looking forward to explaining her reason for visiting. She wasn’t sure she had the energy to go through it all again.

Thankfully, her mum had left her to her own thoughts as they travelled to the house from the station. They’d shared a quick hug, and Anna noted the worry on her mum’s face when they greeted each other.

Her emotions stirred up even more as they drove up to the house. She wasn’t sure why the sight of her childhood home made her feel like crying.

“So?” her mum said as they sat on the terrace, looking out onto the farmers’ fields that surrounded them. Anna sat silently, unsure where to even begin. She felt her mum’s hand gently squeeze her knee. “You don’t seem like yourself, love.”

“I don’t feel like myself.” It was true. She hadn’t felt like herself for a while now, even if she’d tried to convince herself otherwise. “I met someone, but it didn’t work out how I thought it would. Now I’m confused and hurt.”

“Tell me all about it, darling. Let your old mum help.” Anna gave a little chuckle. Maybe if she’d let her mum help her in the past, she wouldn’t be struggling now.

The situation felt like déjà vu, having to recount everything that happened with Sam, just like she’d had to do with Camille on that disastrous date night.

Steeling herself, she forced her way through another explanation of her and Sam’s time together. Once she’d finished, she glanced towards her mum, waiting for her to comment. She didn’t know what to expect. This was the first time in her adult life she’d confided in her mum and asked for advice.

“First, darling, I’m sorry you have been going through this, but I’m so happy you told me. I know it’s difficult for you to share with me.” God, did Anna feel like an asshole of a daughter!

“Second, I have to say I’m over the moon that you’re going through this, too.”

Anna whipped her head round to stare at her mum. “What do you mean?”

Her mum laughed. “Oh, love, don’t you see? You’re finally feeling what it is to be head over heels in love with someone and sometimes, honey, love hurts.”

Anna shook her head wordlessly. What on earth was her mother talking about? She felt her hands being clamped between those of her mother’s.

“My sweet girl, I’m going to tell you something and believe it or not, it’s really very simple. You’re struggling because you’re scared. Falling in love for the first time is terrifying. You have no control, and for you, Anna, that’s the scariest thing of all.”

“I don’t think it’s that easy, Mum,” Anna mumbled.

“Yes, it is. You shared something real with Sam and that scared the living daylights out of you. Loving Sam and having her love you back is everything you’d want, but you’ve self-sabotaged. You let it slip away because the thought of having everything means you have to think about the possibility of losing it, too. I would put money on it being a similar reason for Sam running away, just like you’re doing.”

“But I already lost it, so that makes little sense.”

“No, you didn’t lose it, you let it go. You let her go on your terms before you got any deeper. The pair of you buggered it up for no other reason than fear. Can I also mention how you didn’t dispute the fact that you love her?” Yes, she’d tripped Anna up on that one.

Sidestepping the comment, Anna straightened her shoulders. “What do I do?”

“You decide whether you are brave enough to put yourself out there. Talk to Sam honestly, without holding back. I’m not saying it’s going to magically fix everything. You could end up hurt, but to be fair, love, that’s already happened. My advice, honey, is go to London—first to celebrate Sam’s achievement, because aside from all this, she still deserves that from you. Second, to talk to her and see where that goes. Just communicate, flower.”

Was it really that easy?

Her mum was right about one thing: Anna hated feeling out of control. That’s why she’d stayed with James for so long. There were no surprises; no actual risk of her heart being permanently hurt with him. Was her mum right about being in love? Anna had thought so, but then, after Sam left, she’d convinced herself it was just infatuation.

Mon Dieu. Yes, I love her, of course I do. I knew from the moment I saw her.

Now, it all came down to whether or not Anna was willing to put it all on the line? Could she risk her heart for everything she ever wanted?

What felt like the biggest decision of her life still rattled around Anna’s head almost two weeks later and she was still no closer to knowing if she could do what her heart wanted her to.

Things with Kim had been awkward. They hadn’t spoken about their last conversation since Anna returned from her weekend away at her parents’ house. They’d just carried on as if nothing had happened. “Kim,” Anna shouted.

“Yes,” Kim replied politely. God, this was awful.

“Close the door, please, and take a seat.” Kim did as she was asked, sitting with her pen and paper ready to do whatever it was Anna wanted her to do. Anna knew Kim would always be professional in the office, no matter how pissed she was. She loved that about her. “I’m sorry.” Kim waited for her to continue. “You were right.”

“Right about what?”

“About all of it.”

“Hmmm.”

“What does ‘Hmmm’ mean?”

“Want to tell me where you ran off to after you left?”

“I went to my parents. I spoke to my mum about it all.”

“Good. Did she get through to you?”

Anna nodded. “I really am sorry, Kim. You’re my best friend and you’ve only ever been supportive. I didn’t handle the conversation well. I shouldn’t have left and I shouldn’t have waited this long to talk to you. Please forgive me.”

“Of course I forgive you.”

Anna smiled from ear to ear. “Really?”

“Yes. Listen, I know I could have been a little more sensitive when we spoke—”

“No,” Anna interrupted. “You were right. I needed to hear it, just like I needed to hear it from my mum. This thing with Sam scares me. It scares me because of how much I feel for her. I’ve never felt like that; never felt so out of control and surprised by my own emotions. I feel like my heart doesn’t belong to me. It’s as if she took it with her when she left. I am in love with her and the thought of her not returning that love is overwhelming.”

“Oh, Anna, come here.” Anna rounded her desk and fell into Kim’s embrace. “So, what’s your plan of action?”

Anna thought for a second. There was only one plan of action: Talk to Sam. “I’ll find some time after the party to talk to her and see how she feels. It’s going to be difficult after I told her to leave me alone.”

“Difficult, but not impossible.”

Anna tightened the embrace before releasing. Having Kim back in her corner certainly gave her the boost of confidence she so badly needed if she planned to face her fears and fight for Sam.

Anna sat stock-still in one of the cushioned chairs that lined the hall of the Eurostar waiting area. With her eyes closed, she took in a breath to the count of five and slowly let it out to the count of eight.

Forcing herself to concentrate on her breathing, she listened to her heartbeat slowly mellow. She was so different to the woman who had roamed these halls months ago after breaking up with James. Everything had changed. She had changed.

The next twenty-four hours were going to either make her or break her. That was the only way she could describe it. In twenty-four hours, she would see Sam again after weeks apart. She would breathe the same air as the woman she had fallen so hopelessly in love with. She could only hope and dream that Sam would reciprocate her feelings, even if they weren’t as strong as hers.

If Sam didn’t feel the same way, Anna would be heartbroken. Never in all of her thirty-three years had she connected with someone like she had with Sam. It was far more than a sexual connection; it felt almost spiritual. She only hoped turning up and declaring her love would not turn out to be the biggest mistake of her life.

The truth was, she was miserable without Sam. She’d let her go without putting up any fight because she knew settling for something easy was her go-to method of coping, and her way of safeguarding her heart. If she stayed in control, she was okay. But now, as she thought of her future, she couldn’t bear to picture it without Sam by her side. She’d been a coward, letting their relationship break so easily.

She opened her eyes, blinking rapidly as she adjusted to the neon lights hanging above her. The area wasn’t very busy. Their departure time was set for the middle of the afternoon. Most passengers had taken early trains by the looks of it. Kim sat next to her, reading. Anna was appreciative Kim had given her some space, knowing she needed a bit of quiet to sort herself out.

Kim’s phone buzzed a few minutes later. She saw out of the corner of her eye, Kim’s reaction to whatever she had just read had surprised her. She was about to ask if everything was okay when Kim shot to her feet; her phone clutched to her chest.

“Toilet.” That was all she said before rushing off toward the restrooms.

Odd.

Dismissing Kim’s strange behaviour, Anna gathered her things and headed to WHSmith. She needed a book; something to take her out of her own head for a few hours. She browsed and selected a couple that piqued her interest.

The voice over the speaker interrupted her browsing. Boarding had begun. Anna quickly paid for her books and headed toward the toilets. Kim still hadn’t returned. Just as she was about to turn the corner to the ladies’ room, Kim appeared, looking flustered.

“You okay?” Anna was starting to get a little worried.

“Absolutely fine. Did I hear we can board the train?”

“Yes, I was just coming to get you. Let’s go.”

Okay, Kim was definitely acting strange, but if she didn’t want to talk about it, Anna wasn’t going to push.

They boarded the train and slipped into their seats, happy they’d reserved a table so they could spread out. The train pulled away from the station. There was no turning back now.

One way or the other, in a few short hours, she would have her answer.

Twenty-Five

T he countdown to the biggest night of Sam’s life was on: T-minus twenty-four hours. So much had happened in the last two weeks that Sam was happy to have a morning to herself.

In reality, that meant she was not by herself at all. No, she had Charlie and her mum hounding her every five minutes with questions relating to her new business, S. C. Photography. Not a very creative name, but she liked it. Seeing her initials printed on business cards gave Sam a warm feeling.

In twenty-four hours, most of the people she’d ever worked with would gather in one of the most prestigious galleries in London to celebrate her work. The invitations had gone out a couple of weeks ago and Sam had been surprised to see that so many of the guests had RSVP’d so quickly.

Amongst the names listed were some photographers Sam had been following since university. It felt a little unreal to know these people. These distinguished artists and photographers were going to be commending Sam on her own work.

The evening would be the biggest of Sam’s life, not because of the aforementioned artists that would attend, but because Sam had seen Tower Publishing had confirmed their attendance and that meant she would finally see Anna after weeks of silence.

Sam’s mind had been a hive of confusion and excitement since she’d seen the acceptance list for the party. She knew she’d fucked up royally. She’d thrown away her friendship with Anna over jealousy, a feeling she wasn’t all too familiar with. Sam had never been the type of person to let the green-eyed monster overtake her, but she had no control when it came to Anna.

Charlie and Sandy had done everything they could to help her over the last couple of weeks, but she was pretty sure—no, she was one-hundred percent certain—they were tiring of her moping. She wished they could understand the battle that was raging in her mind.

Her heart was telling her to jump in feetfirst, beg Anna for another chance—not at friendship—but an actual relationship. It had felt like they were in one when they were together in Paris, no matter how much Sam told herself they’d kept it casual.

Her brain, on the other hand, was screaming at her to let it all go, to stay away from the danger of losing herself to another woman, inevitably getting her heart crushed when Anna let her down. The battles were unrelenting.

Sam had thrown herself into her work. She’d finished her last day at Bright Lights Photography two days ago. It had been an overwhelming feeling leaving the office she’d known for so long. Charlie had managed it a lot better than she had. As soon as five p.m. had rolled around, Charlie had thrown her bag over her shoulder and declared herself a free woman, shouting, “Later, bitches” as she left, laughing. Thankfully, the office found her funny and not insulting.

After arriving home from her last day at the office, she found her mum waiting in the kitchen with a magnum of Champagne. Andy stood beside her in a party hat that read “Happy 60th”. Jeez, she felt so honoured he’d put in so much effort. She’d given him the biggest eye roll she could muster before she’d laughed and thrown her arms around him for a hug.

Charlie joined them and they’d spent the night drinking and laughing about all the different things they’d been through since they’d left uni, and chatting about all the things they wanted to do in the future.

Regrettably, they’d got carried away with their celebrations and had overindulged. A full magnum of Champagne and a bottle of rum left them worse for wear. The next day had been super unproductive. No shock there, really. Sam certainly wasn’t able to bounce back after a night on the piss anymore, so she’d stayed in bed the entire day until she’d felt a little more human. That had finally occurred around 10:00 in the evening when she’d been able to take a shower and eat some dry toast.

This morning, though, was the proper start of it all. Her first day as a self-employed woman. “Sammy, baby, I’ve got some fantastic news,” Charlie shouted from the front door. She never knocked. The house was as much a home to her as it was to Sam.

“Lay it on me.”

“Well, my useless fuckwit parents have actually done me a solid,” she chirped.

Sam was used to hearing Charlie speak about her parents in a less-than-generous way. They’d practically left Charlie to raise herself, too busy with their own lives to bother about their daughter. The only thing they ever contributed was money. They had the idea that throwing wads of cash at Charlie could make up for the fact they’d been really shitty parents.

“Okay, sounds interesting.”

“They’ve agreed to rent us Bowman Manor.”

Sam just stared. Bowman Manor was a house, no, more like a mansion, that had been in Charlie’s family for generations. It had sat empty for years after Charlie’s parents had moved away in search of warmer weather.

Sam had visited it once before. It wasn’t a very homey place. Sam struggled to see Charlie living there happily. The place was so vast. She thought it must have been a very lonely place for a child.

“How the hell did that happen?”

“Well, I just asked, to be honest. I remembered you telling me how good it would be for offices. Plus, they’ve missed every birthday and Christmas since I was twelve, which I reminded them on the phone and wouldn’t ya know, they were happy to lease it to us at a stupid rate.” She laughed, her face lighting up like a Christmas tree.

“Char, that’s perfect!”

“Right!” Sam pulled her in for a hug and a few sloppy kisses on her face. “Get. Off. Me!” Charlie yelled, laughing. “We just need to go over and start shifting some old crap down to the cellar. Wanna go now?”

“Does a bear shit in the woods?”

“I’ll take that as a yes, then,” Charlie grinned. “Get your coat.”

The house was only a five-minute walk away, which was ideal. The behemoth building was hidden from the street behind massive conifers. The driveway was long and winding. It led to a set of grand oak doors. There were more windows than Sam could count. She didn’t want to think about the amount of money it took to keep it clean, let alone the repairs. Thank God they were only renting.

They let themselves in and stood in the lobby. Charlie looked as if she was filtering some good and probably painful memories. Sam knew this hadn’t been a happy home for her best friend. “You alright?”

Charlie nodded, silently walking to the first room on their right. “Thought we could start in here. This would be the best room for our office.” Her voice was quiet and timid.

“Yeah, I was thinking the same.” She walked over and squeezed Charlie’s shoulder before ducking into the room. It looked as though it had previously functioned as an office, given the furniture that was left behind. Boxes were piled in every corner.

“Any idea what all this is?”

“Crap from my old room. They wanted a second gym so obviously my childhood bedroom had to go,” Charlie mumbled, her face creased with sadness from decades of feeling unwanted.

“C’mon, let’s get started.” She hated she couldn’t do anything to take away Charlie’s pain.

They spent a good two hours lugging boxes down to the cellar. Sam was more than happy she’d resumed her daily workouts, especially when she saw how red and sweaty Charlie was.

They only had a couple left, but the boxes were heavy and in awful shape. Sam had just reached the door to the cellar when she heard the box rip, the entire contents falling to her feet. “Bollocks!” she shouted.

Throwing the broken box to one side, she bent down to retrieve the items, pausing when she saw they were photo albums. Picking one up, she flipped through the pages. She cracked the biggest smile when she saw the pictures were of her and Charlie at university.

“Charlie, come and look at these,” she shouted down the stairs. She heard Charlie panting as she hobble-walked up the stairs.

“Oh my God, are those what I think they are?” she laughed.

“Too right, our golden days, lady.” Every picture was of Sam and Charlie, either drunk or well on their way.

“I don’t know how we actually graduated. We were hammered ninety percent of the time,” Charlie mused.

They continued flipping the pages, laughing now and then. Just as Sam went to turn to the last page, Charlie slammed her hand on the album. “Holy fucking shit,” Charlie gasped.

Sam looked from Charlie to the page. She saw the two of them with their hands on each other’s shoulders, smiling at the camera. Charlie was a few drinks in by the looks of it. Sam knew instantly which party they’d been at. She would never forget it.

The dance.

Sam scrunched her eyebrows, bringing the picture closer to her face. It wasn’t the image of Sam and Charlie that had caught her interest. It was the young woman at the back of the crowd that she couldn’t take her eyes off.

“It’s not possible,” she whispered. Her head whipped up to look at Charlie, who looked equally stunned. Sam gently withdrew the photo from its protective sleeve, running her finger over the image in utter shock. “It’s her,” she stuttered. “My God, it’s her.”

Charlie relieved Sam of the album, putting it back on the pile that had fallen to the floor. “Think we should have a drink, mate.” Charlie led Sam back to the office and plonked her down into the closest chair. Sam sat, stunned. She couldn’t take her eyes off of the picture.

A short while later, Charlie emerged with two glasses of rum. “Drink up,” she said, shooting her own glass, coughing a little as the rum hit the back of her throat. Sam tore her eyes away from the picture. She looked into Charlie’s eyes before gulping down her own drink.

“I need some air.” The room felt like it was drawing in on her.

Stumbling out of the manor door, Sam numbly began to walk. A few minutes in and she realised she’d automatically walked home with no recollection of the journey.

Once home, Sam locked herself in her room. The outside world would have to wait. She had far too much to process. That image changed everything. It put all of Sam’s fears into perspective. She finally had the answers she’d been searching for.

Sam knew what she had to do. She just needed to find a way to do it. Time for reinforcements. After sending the message, Sam sat and waited. She could only hope she would get a reply quickly. The sound of her ringtone jolted her into action. “Kim, thank God. Look, I need your help.”

Anna’s knee was bouncing at an incredibly fast rate. In less than ten minutes, she would arrive at the party. She’d taken nearly four hours to dress herself in preparation, and now, as she sat in the back of the taxi, she was second-guessing how she looked.

“Doll, will you relax! You look gorgeous. I mean, really stunning.” Kim squeezed her knee, halting its movement.

Anna took in a few big breaths, trying to keep her nerves from spilling out. “You really think so?”

Anna had brought three different outfits with her. She’d tried them all on several times, but finally settled on a midnight-blue floor-length strapless dress. She’d complimented the outfit with a simple white gold teardrop necklace and matching earrings. “I promise, you’re a knockout,” Kim reassured her. Anna unconsciously fiddled with the hair she’d left down, straightened and hanging over her left shoulder.

She gave Kim a nod. “Thanks, Kim, you look wonderful too.”

Kim sported one of her pin-up-style dresses. It was black with white trim, and the neckline dipped to show off her ample cleavage. She was also in the biggest heels Anna had ever seen. It was a wonder she could walk, but honestly, Kim made it look so easy. You would think she was strutting round in trainers.

“Thanks, doll,” Kim winked.

Anna chuckled. Trust Kim to help dispel some of the tension that was radiating off her in waves.

The black cab finally pulled up outside the gallery. Kim grabbed Anna’s hand as they stepped out of the taxi and on to the red carpet. They didn’t make an immediate move to enter. Kim was allowing Anna to collect herself first. Anna adored this woman.

After a few moments, Anna signalled to Kim she was ready—well, ready as she would ever be. The gallery was in a large industrial-looking building. There were metal rails along the foyer ceiling, the walls were bare brick, and the floor was a smooth concrete. It was modern and beautifully maintained.

Posters of the soirée had been mounted at the front of the gallery entrance. Anna could see through the door that the room was lit by a blanket of LED lights, making it feel as if they were walking under the stars.

“Ready?” Kim held her hand.

“Yes.” It was now or never.

They stepped through, into the gallery. Anna almost stumbled. Her chest swelled with pride as she took in the scene in front of her. Sam’s photographs were mounted on the walls and on metal partitions expertly placed throughout the room. Dozens of people dressed in gowns and black tie milled about, taking in Sam’s breathtaking work. A few had already picked up a copy of the book.

Waiters and waitresses picked their way skilfully through the crowd, offering wine and Champagne. Liquid courage—just what the doctor ordered. Anna grabbed a couple of glasses, swallowing the first one in two gulps. She brought the second up to her lips, only then noticing Kim’s grin.

“Thanks for the drink, doll,” she said sarcastically.

“Sorry,” Anna mumbled, her lips still on the glass. Kim rolled her eyes and chuckled. After a quick sweep of the room, Anna was sure Sam wasn’t there. It’s her party.

Where could she be?

“Let’s have a mooch around.” Kim threaded her arm through Anna’s. They followed the general direction of people walking around the gallery, stopping at every piece, marvelling at Sam’s talent for capturing Paris in a way they’d never seen before.

They’d just completed a full lap of the work when the sound of a knife clinking on a glass caught their attention. A tall man in a brown suit, cowboy hat, and boots stood on a little platform. This had to be Rupert Downes, billionaire, and the man responsible for commissioning Sam.

“Howdy,” he bellowed. Anna almost winced at the volume of his voice. “Y’all won’t have a clue who I am and that’s fine, because tonight I’m not very important. Tonight, we’re here to celebrate a wonderful and talented young photographer who I commissioned for this project.” There was a smattering of applause before he continued to shout-talk.

“I gave Sam the enormous task of capturing one of my favourite cities, and as you can see by the quality of her work, she blew the project out the water,” he laughed. The crowd was enjoying Rupert’s energy and positivity. He had them all captivated. “I’m not gonna jabber on all night. I just want y’all to welcome to the stage the woman of the hour… Ms Samantha Chambers.”

Anna felt her breath catch in her throat as she watched Sam weave through the crowd to join Rupert on the stage.

My God, she’s beautiful.

“Now, I promised Sam she wouldn’t have to make a speech, so let’s just raise our glasses and toast.” Rupert raised his glass towards Sam, who bowed her head graciously. Anna couldn’t take her eyes off Sam, who had yet to see her. She knew it was now or never. Pushing herself towards the stage, her heart thudded wildly. She hoped she could get to Sam before she lost her nerve.

The crowd had swallowed Sam up by the time Anna had fought her way through. Sam was gone.

Did she see me and leave?

The possibility of that sat on Anna’s chest like a lead weight. Fighting back tears, Anna retreated to the side of the room. She needed a minute to compose herself. She was still at an important function and she was still representing her company.

Kim made her way over. “Let’s take a walk.” Placing her hand on the small of Anna’s back, she guided her to a door at the back of the room. They stepped through into a smaller gallery area. This room had been lit by candles of all shapes and sizes; hundreds of them.

Anna came to a stop in the centre of the room, her eyes drawn to the photographs displayed on the walls: black and white portraits of her. They were the photos Sam had taken: pictures of their adventures in Paris. Anna brought her hand up to her mouth. She was speechless. Movement from the door caught her eye. She slowly turned around. Sam stood leant up against the door frame.

“What’s going on?” Anna whispered.

“You look beautiful, Anna,” Sam breathed. Anna couldn’t move; couldn’t form words. Sam walked slowly, stopping a couple of metres away. “Can I talk, and will you listen until I’m finished? No interrupting?” Her eyes revealed a mix of emotions Anna couldn’t decipher.

“Okay.” What else could she say? Anna watched Sam shuffle from one foot to the other, squaring her shoulders, readying herself for whatever she was going to say.

“Leaving Paris—leaving you—was the single hardest thing I have ever done,” she began. Anna raised her eyebrows at her opening statement. She didn’t feel Sam had found it that hard to leave. “You probably don’t believe me, considering I snuck out of your bed and vanished without saying goodbye, plus all the times I told you I couldn’t be in a relationship. It was all bollocks, Anna. I lied to myself just as much as I did to you.” Sam cleared her throat. Anna wanted to go to her, to reassure her, but she needed to hear the rest of what Sam had to say.

“We briefly brushed over my ex, Jo. I didn’t want to taint our time together with all the baggage from my past, but now I think I should’ve spoken more openly about it.” Sam paused, taking in a deep breath. “Jo didn’t just cheat on me. She spent years gradually tearing me down, stripping me of my confidence and self-esteem.”

Anna wanted to find Jo and rip into her.

“So much so, that when I found her cheating, I spent so long blaming myself, thinking it was something I had done which drove her into the arms of someone else. It took me so long to believe I was worthy of something more, that I deserved to have happiness. I only started thinking that way when I arrived in Paris… when I met you.”

Anna watched as Sam inhaled sharply.

“I started to get myself together again. Charlie and my mum certainly helped, but it was you who made me realise I could have a future again. When we met, the feelings between us became strong so fast, it scared me to death.”

Anna took a small step towards Sam. God, she wanted to touch her; make her feel safe.

“I could handle the changes to my career and I felt good about all the positive things that were happening to me. I loved feeling my confidence return, but with you—Christ, Anna, I was terrified. It felt like Jo had permanently scarred me, broken the something inside me that allowed me to give myself to someone again.” Sam took another sharp breath. “But I was so wrong, Anna, and the worst part is, it took me so long to realise, that after all these years, I’d already given myself to you completely.”

Anna felt herself frown. What did Sam mean “after all these years”?

“I don’t understand.”

Sam smiled. “I need you to trust me for a few minutes. Can you do that?”

Anna trusted Sam. She might have been upset with her, but she’d always trusted her. She gave a little nod and watched as Sam turned her head to signal someone in the corner of the room. Anna looked over, too. Kim was walking towards them, holding two satin ties. What the hell was going on?

Kim quietly manoeuvred herself behind Anna. “Trust her,” she whispered, before wrapping the blindfold snugly around Anna’s eyes. Everything was dark. A little sliver of panic crept its way up Anna’s neck.

Before it could take root, Anna heard the soft melody and opening line of a song she would never forget: “If I should stay… I would only be in your way.” She felt a body push gently into hers. The memories of that night—that dance—came flooding back.

It wasn’t possible, but Anna knew the truth. She felt Sam’s breath next to her ear as the song continued. She felt her own arms take hold of Sam’s waist, slowly drifting up and around Sam’s back as they swayed so seamlessly with each other.

Anna gasped, “Mon Dieu .”

“You said that the last time we danced, too,” Sam whispered.

Anna stilled. She had to see Sam’s face. She felt Sam take a small step back, giving her the opportunity to take her blindfold off. She opened her eyes and basked in the beauty that was Sam standing before her.

Sam stood with her hands clasped in front of her. She looked radiant in wide-leg pinstriped trousers. Tucked into them was a simple white tank. Her sandy-coloured hair was scooped up into a messy bun with a few strands left to frame her face. It seemed to shimmer in the candlelight. Anna had to look up to see Sam’s eyes. She was an inch taller than Anna and the pair of black high heels accounted for her added height. She took Anna’s breath away.

“How is this possible?”

“I’ve asked that question a million times since I found out it was you who stole my heart at that party all those years ago,” Sam stated simply.

“When did you find out?” She needed to understand.

“Yesterday. Look.” Sam handed Anna a photograph from her back pocket. The photo was of a younger Sam and Charlie in a one-armed hug. People were crowded around at a party. Anna looked from the picture to Sam, confused. Sam stepped forward and pointed to a young woman in the background. Anna’s eyes opened wide. Good God, it was her.

“I came here to fight for you,” Anna whispered as she caressed the picture in her hand. She felt Sam move quickly into her space.

“You should never have had to fight for me. I’m so sorry, Anna. I’m so sorry for letting you think you were the only one who felt so strongly. I’m sorry for not being brave enough. I want to be, though. You’ve been with me every day: in my thoughts, in my heart. Seeing this picture, and seeing you in it, finally made everything fall into place.

Tears welled in Anna’s eyes.

“I realised Jo could never break my heart, not really, because you’ve been carrying it with you for over a decade, keeping it safe for when I found you again. I fell in love with you that night. I just didn’t know it was you, but now…after everything, it makes perfect sense,” she chuckled.

“I was angry at you. You left me.” Sam dropped her head to her chest. “But it wasn’t entirely your fault. I let you go without telling you how I felt. I didn’t fight for you because I was scared, too.”

“We’re a right pair,” Sam smiled.

Anna beamed back at her. “I’m in love with you, Sam. I don’t care how hard it is. I want to be by your side.”

Sam slipped her arms around Anna’s waist and pulled her in. The moment their lips met, Anna felt at home. There was nothing in this world to fear when she had Sam next to her.

“You know, Dolly is right,” Sam grinned against her lips. Anna cocked her eyebrow. Sam brushed her lips over Anna’s again. “I will always love you, Anna. I have no doubt in my mind.”

Well, who in their right mind could argue with Dolly Parton?

Epilogue

One Year Later

I t wasn’t the sound of rain hammering on Sam’s bedroom window that made her stir from her deep, dreamless sleep; it was the warm sensation of lips kissing her leg. She kept her eyes closed, enjoying the delicious caress of Anna’s mouth—soft yet strong. Her body betrayed her as her hips automatically rolled when Anna placed an open-mouth kiss on her inner thigh. “Morning,” she rasped as Anna travelled higher.

“Shh, I’m not done waking you up,” Anna replied, her voice muffled under the duvet.

“But I’m awake,” Sam giggled.

“Mmm, no, I don’t think you’re fully awake yet. Hang on.”

Sam gasped as Anna spread her legs apart, sinking her mouth into Sam’s need. “Oh, fuck.”

“Mmm, now I think we’re getting somewhere,” Anna mumbled. She wrapped her forearms around Sam’s hips, anchoring her to the bed.

“Oh, God, Anna,” Sam panted. There was nothing in the world as exquisite as Anna’s mouth.

“Come for me, mon amour .”

“Oh…oh, yes…yeeesss!” Sam screamed.

Anna held her close until her body stopped shaking and her breath steadied. She crawled up Sam’s body and popped her head out from under the cover. “Mmm, I think that’s my favourite way to wake you up,” she sighed dreamily.

“I wholeheartedly agree,” Sam laughed. “I think you still look a little sleepy, though.”

“You know, come to think of it, I am a little sleepy. What could we do to remedy that, do you think?”

“I’ve got an idea,” Sam chuckled, before swiftly manoeuvring Anna so she was flat on her back, her legs instinctively wrapping themselves around Sam’s hips. They kissed each other deeply, their breaths becoming ragged. Sam pulled herself away to look down at Anna. Their eyes held equal amounts of lust and love.

“I bought us a little present.” Sam had bought them a strap-on. They’d talked about buying one for a few months without following through. Sam had seen this one and couldn’t help herself. Anna was a rocket in the bedroom and always up for trying new things, which made Sam insanely happy.

“Is it a strap-on by any chance?” Anna smiled, her cheeks flushed from their heavy kissing.

“How’d you know?”

“Darling, you left the packaging in the bin,” she chuckled.

Sam felt her face burn. So much for the surprise. “Are you okay with it?”

“Absolutely,” Anna blurted.

Sam smiled. God, she loved this woman. “Don’t laugh when I put it on!” She slipped out of bed and began digging through her suitcase.

“Out of the two of us, Sam, it’s not me who will laugh, is it?” Sam grinned. She was definitely the one who would laugh out of nerves. She couldn’t help it. It was how she coped with awkward or embarrassing situations.

Anna watched as Sam slipped on the harness and turned around. “Oh wow,” she gasped. Sam stood in the Superhero pose, deliciously naked, with a rainbow dildo hanging between her legs. “Get over here,” Anna ordered. Sam raced back to the bed, ripping back the covers. She slid on top, and with no time to waste, they began kissing, their hands roaming, searching for each other’s pleasure points. “I’m so wet,” Anna gasped.

“You ready?” Sam watched Anna, her eyes searching.

“Yes.”

Sam reached between them and rubbed the dildo through Anna’s folds, coating it in her essence. After several moans of pleasure from Anna, Sam guided the tip to Anna’s entrance, slowly pushing herself forward.

“Are you okay?”

Anna nodded furiously.

Sam needed no more confirmation than that. She slid herself in and out, picking up a steady rhythm. Anna’s hips worked alongside hers. The base of the dildo was doing magical things to Sam’s throbbing clit.

“I’m close,” Anna panted.

“Touch yourself,” Sam ordered. The sight of Anna adding to her own pleasure was almost enough to make Sam come. She had to fight to keep control of herself. Anna’s fingers sped up. Sam matched her speed, thrusting faster. She could feel Anna begin to shake. Her head snapped back before her whole body shook, and her orgasm ripped through them both. Sam allowed herself to tip over the edge, and they cried out in unison.

“Oh,” Anna stuttered between gasps of air, “that was amazing.”

“Yeah, it was,” Sam giggled.

“Although…”

“Although?” Sam repeated, her eyes darting to Anna’s. “Did I hurt you?”

“No, not at all, mon amour . It’s just that as good as it was, nothing beats your hands and tongue.” Anna wiggled her eyebrows.

Sam chuckled. “Don’t worry, honey, there is no toy on this planet that will ever replace my hands and mouth. I love touching you too much.”

“Excellent. Maybe you could remind me how good it feels, then?”

Two hours and two showers later, they finally emerged from Sam’s old bedroom. Andy had gone to stay with his family for a few days, so it was just Sam, Anna, and Sandy. Sam was grateful Andy had given them some time alone. When Sam moved to Paris six months ago, she hadn’t realised how much she would miss her mum and their time together.

They slowly descended the stairs, stealing kisses and touches as they went. Sam could hear her mum in the kitchen. It sounded like she was having a throw down with the pans—and losing.

“Morning, Mum.” Sam kissed her on the cheek with Anna following suit. Sam couldn’t have been happier with the way Anna and her mum interacted. Sandy had embraced Anna instantly, welcoming her into their little family.

“Morning, my loves, have a seat. I made breakfast,” Sandy chirped.

“You made breakfast? Really?” Sam could count on one hand the number of times Sandy had cooked breakfast for her.

“Don’t sound so surprised. I love cooking. It’s not my fault you only ever wanted to eat toast in the mornings, growing up.”

“Fair point,” Sam chuckled. They sat at the breakfast bar, nursing their coffee. They all turned to the door as they heard Charlie enter through the back.

“Morning, beautiful people,” Charlie exclaimed loudly. They returned the greeting in unison.

“So, last day, huh?” Charlie directed her comment at Sam.

“Yeah, last day. I’m excited but sad at the same time.”

“It’s going to be fantastic,” Sandy said as she pushed a plate of pancakes into the middle of the worktop.

“I know,” Sam sighed. She really was happy to be leaving for the US. Rupert had followed through on his offer to employ Sam’s services again. It was a wonderful opportunity, allowing Sam to have free reign in Texas for three months. The obvious downside was leaving Anna again.

They’d spent less than a few hours apart for the past six months. Sam’s stomach dropped at the thought of not seeing her, not touching her, for twelve weeks. Anna had constantly reassured her it was too big of an experience to pass up.

“Hey, stop that.” Anna lifted Sam’s chin so she had to turn her head to face her. “It’s going to be amazing. I’m not going anywhere.” She placed a soft kiss on Sam’s lips.

“Samantha,” her mum barked, jolting Sam’s attention away from Anna’s loving eyes.

“Why are you shouting?”

“I’ve said your name three times.”

“Oh, sorry.” It wasn’t the first time she’d lost herself in Anna’s kiss and it wouldn’t be the last.

“It’s fine, love. You have done so well for yourself this last year. I’m very proud of you.”

“Thanks, Mum.”

“Anyway, you’ve got to be off your rocker if you think Anna’s going anywhere. From the sounds you’ve been extracting from her this past week, I doubt you ever have to worry about her straying too far.”

Sam looked at her mum, confused. Anna had gone bright red, and Charlie was trying desperately to suppress her laughter. It finally dawned on Sam what sounds her mum was referring to.

“Mother, for Christ’s sakes,” she yelled.

“I don’t know why you get to do the shouting. It’s me that hasn’t had a good night’s sleep for a week. I mean, really, Samantha, you’re going to wear the poor girl out,” Sandy retorted with a wicked grin.

“Oh, right, I’m the insatiable one.”

“Hey!” Anna shot.

“Sorry,” she grumbled.

“Well, either way, the trip to the US will at least give you both time to rest your vaginas. I imagine they need a bit of rest and relaxation after the way you’ve been at it.”

“Oh, my God!” Sam shouted.

Charlie couldn’t hold her laughter in any longer. She doubled over with tears in her eyes. “That’s fucking fantastic,” she cried, thrusting her hand to get a high-five from Sandy, who was now laughing equally hard.

“Calm down, I’m only teasing,” Sandy wheezed through her laughter. “You’re just too easy to wind up, love.”

Sam instinctively looked at Anna, who was hiding her face behind her coffee cup, laughing.

“You’re the worst.” Sam fanned her face, hoping it would go back to a colour lighter than beetroot.

“You packed?” Charlie asked once she’d composed herself.

“All done. Just need to close the case. You still okay to take me to the station?”

“Yeah, no worries, mate. What you love birds got planned for your last night?”

“I think we’re all fully aware of what they have planned, Charlie,” Sandy piped up.

“Yes, you’re right, mother, that’s exactly what we have planned.” God, she wished she didn’t let her mum’s teasing get under her skin so much.

“Excellent, but before you retire for long hours of debauchery, do you think you could take an hour to have dinner with your old mum?”

“Of course, Sandy, I’m sure I can tear myself away from Sam for a little while.” Anna grinned wolfishly. It still took Anna a bit of time to feel comfortable with Sam and her mother’s back-and-forth teasing. She was getting better at joining in, though. It helped that Sandy and Charlie welcomed her into the fold like she’d known them forever.

“Wonderful. Paddy’s at seven, then.”

“Paddy’s? That’s where you want to spend an evening with your only daughter before she goes travelling to the other side of the world for months? Paddy’s shitty pub?”

“Yes, Paddy’s, that’s where I took you for your first pint the night before you left for uni. I thought it would be appropriate.” Oh, God, Sam could really be an insensitive tosser sometimes.

“Oh, balls. Sorry, Mum, of course, Paddy’s would be great.” Sam looked frantically from her mum to Anna. Upsetting her mum was the last thing she ever wanted to do.

“Oh, for God’s sake, Sam, you really are too gullible. As if I’d take you to that shithole again. The last time you went there, you got the shits from their dodgy burgers,” Sandy laughed. “I thought a pizza and a beer would be better. Nice night in with my girls.”

Sam let out a long breath. “That wasn’t teasing, Mum, I thought I’d really upset you.”

“A night in sounds lovely.” Anna squeezed Sam’s knee.

“What time do we need to ship out for you, Anna?” Charlie was taking her role as the designated driver seriously.

“I’m on the last train tomorrow evening, so we have a few hours between dropping Sam off and taking me.”

“Okay, great. I’ll check the traffic tomorrow.”

“Come on, girls, let’s get on with the day,” Sandy clapped, ushering them all to move.

Sam’s last night with her family had been better than expected. They’d shared two large pizzas and watched a couple of trashy films. Sam was over the moon when Andy stopped in to wish her well on her travels. He ended up staying for the night along with Charlie.

But that was then. Now, as she loaded her suitcase into the back of Charlie’s car, the only thing rattling around in Sam’s mind was the fact she was willingly leaving her girlfriend, the woman she loved.

The past year couldn’t have gone any better for Sam and Charlie. S. C. Photography had taken off quickly, and Sam had gained a lot of recognition from her “Paris” project. Both Sam and Charlie were so much happier in their professional lives, and even though Charlie had originally said she only wanted to be an employee of Sam’s, it hadn’t taken her long to come round to the idea of becoming a full partner. Sam was delighted. She trusted Charlie with her life and she knew the business was in safe hands whilst she was away.

The trip to the US was going to be the first project since Paris that Sam could really sink her teeth into. To get S. C. Photography off the ground, she’d had to take on whatever work she could, which had paid off in the end because now she could step back and focus on personal projects that challenged her creativity.

The “Texas” project was perfect. She’d enjoyed working for Rupert, and thankfully, he trusted her to work her magic behind the lens, which meant she would have complete freedom again. She should be on cloud nine, but she wasn’t. So what was the problem? The problem was leaving Anna. It just didn’t sit right in her stomach.

Anna had had just as much of a busy year as Sam. She’d made some major changes at Tower Publishing , which had allowed them to branch out. Sam couldn’t have been prouder. Anna was born to run that business.

That had been the deciding factor when it came to their living arrangements. For six months, they’d gone back and forth, visiting each other as much as possible. It had been great in the beginning, but the distance soon took its toll.

Sam had decided to relocate to Paris. The offices in England were in safe hands, and Sam was excited to branch out. She didn’t need a second office in Paris because she could easily work from home. She’d moved in with Anna and it had been a perfect six months.

Sandy had visited on several occasions. They’d even taken her to meet Anna’s parents and brother, which had been an interesting experience. Sam was pretty sure Anna’s parents hadn’t known what hit them when Hurricane Sandy blew through.

Thankfully, by the end of the stay, they’d all got on so well that now, Sandy regularly Skyped with Anna’s mum, eliminating Sam and Anna from the equation, which thrilled them both. Everything in their lives was settled: their businesses, their parents and their friends.

“Ready?” Charlie called from the driver’s seat of her VW Bug. She’d already settled herself in the car, allowing Sam and Anna time to say goodbye.

“Yeah, let’s go before I change my mind.” Sam kissed Anna before turning away. God, this felt awful. “I love you,” she called over her shoulder.

“I love you, too.” Anna smiled and waved. Sam was a little taken aback; Anna didn’t seem anywhere near as disturbed as Sam did about her leaving. Maybe she was just being super sensitive?

The car journey took forever. Sam was thankful they’d left a large amount of time to get to St. Pancras because it seemed Charlie had lost the ability to find the accelerator. “Bloody hell, Char, I could walk faster than this,” she grumbled.

“Hey, I’m not getting a ticket just because you’re impatient,” she snapped. Charlie seemed on edge.

“Alright, keep your knickers on.” God knows what was wrong with her. Maybe she was just upset Sam was leaving. She certainly seemed more nervous than Anna had been. “You know, you could have taken me to the airport instead of making me drag my ass there by train.” She hadn’t understood why Charlie was adamant she couldn’t take her to Heathrow directly.

“I told you I haven’t got time, and your mum is busy with some art thing. Jeez, Sam, when did you get so precious? We’re not here to cart your arse around, you know,” Charlie grinned.

Sam mumbled something under her breath. It was going to be a royal pain in the arse dragging her luggage and equipment through St. Pancras and then the airport. Fuck, it was going to be a long day.

“We’re here,” Charlie announced. Sam was too lost in her souring mood to realise they had finally arrived. Charlie jumped out of the car and unloaded her bags. “Giz a smooch, then.” Charlie dragged Sam into a hug, kissing her face until Sam squirmed to be released.

“Get off me, you tool,” Sam laughed. “I’m gonna miss you, mate.”

“Me too, but you’re gonna rock this. Enjoy it, okay? Embrace it all.” With that, Charlie stepped back. “Go, you don’t want to miss your train.”

Sam inhaled deeply. She was really doing this.

The double doors to the station swished open. It took her several minutes to locate the board that told her where she needed to be. Shit. She was going to be late if she didn’t get a move on. Well, okay, not super late. She still had thirty-five minutes, but Sam’s nerves were getting frayed and the thought of missing her train was overwhelming.

She grabbed her suitcase, adjusted the equipment that rested on her shoulder, and began the trek to her platform. She was completely lost in thought as she rushed past throngs of people until something stopped her in her tracks. Almonds and cherries . She’d know that smell anywhere.

Stopping dead in the middle of St. Pancras, Sam slowly turned around. Standing there, leaning against a pillar, was Anna, with a smile that could have lit up the entire station. Sam froze. She wasn’t sure she could trust what she was seeing. “Anna?”

She watched her girlfriend stroll over, her suitcase trailing behind. “Hey, baby.”

“What’s happening? Your train isn’t until this evening. What are you doing here?”

“I’m not going back to Paris, Sam. I’m coming with you.”

Sam felt her knees go weak. “You are?” This was too good to be true.

“Sam, your adventures are my adventures. I couldn’t be away from you even if I tried. I could have told you, but I thought it would be a pleasant surprise and fitting to meet you here. After all, it was the first time I bumped into you… Well, the first time after a decade and without a blindfold,” she chuckled. “Do you mind?”

“Do I mind? Are you joking? This is the best thing ever and you’re right—meeting you here is perfect. Jesus, if I’d have known then, that the beautiful woman I briefly saw after her douchebag boyfriend smashed into me, was the love of my life, I would have chased after you that very day and done what I’m about to do.”

Anna smiled, but then a crease formed on her forehead. “What do you mean? What are you about to do?”

Sam reached into her jacket pocket—something she’d been doing a lot recently, ever since she’d bought the ring, in fact. She’d kept it on her at all times, terrified she would lose it. She’d planned to wait until she returned from the US, but this was the perfect time. She felt it in every fibre of her being. Sam dropped to one knee, not caring one bit about the people who were having to divert themselves around the pair as they held up the flow of foot traffic.

“Mon Dieu ,” Anna whispered.

“Anna, you’re my person. I knew from the second my body felt yours as we danced. I knew it the moment I heard your voice. It took me too long to find you again, but I know I’m meant to be yours, now and forever. Please do me the biggest honour and be my wife.” Sam held her breath as she waited for Anna’s answer. She saw the tears pool in her lover’s eyes, pure emotion washing down her face.

“Yes…yes…yes, of course, yes!” Anna cried.

Sam jumped up and embraced Anna, lifting her off the ground. She hadn’t noticed the cheering that surrounded them as they hugged and kissed. It seemed they’d attracted quite the audience.

Sam kissed Anna with everything she had. Without a doubt, Sam had given herself to Anna wholeheartedly. There was nothing holding her back. The fear of losing herself had vanished and she wanted Anna to have all of her. She knew Anna would hold her heart forever, keeping it safe along with her own.

“I love you,” Sam gasped in between kisses.

“Mon amour , I love you too. I’ll always love you.”

They were home, safe in each other’s arms, even in the middle of a crowded train station. The sound of music drifted over from the piano that stood in the middle of the hall. Sam kissed Anna softly. “Dance with me?”

“Always.”

The dance was a promise between them both, a promise of forever.

Diving Into Her

Alyson Root

J&M Books

Contents

Dedication

Introduction

1. One

2. Two

3. Three

4. Four

5. Five

6. Six

7. Seven

8. Eight

9. Nine

10. Ten

11. Eleven

12. Twelve

13. Thirteen

14. Fourteen

15. Fifteen

16. Sixteen

17. Seventeen

18. Eighteen

19. Nineteen

20. Twenty

21. Twenty-One

22. Twenty-Two

23. Twenty-Three

24. Twenty-Four

25. Twenty-Five

26. Twenty-Six

Epilogue

For all the divers in the world.

Diving Into Her is written in British English.

One

K im pinched the bridge of her nose. The headache she’d been battling since yesterday was wearing her down. Even with copious amounts of pain relief tablets, the pounding continued. It wasn’t much of a surprise, though, because Kim always developed headaches when she was overly stressed, and the past forty-eight hours had been one of the most stressful times of her life.

“Greg, if you’d just shut up for five minutes, maybe I could explain why I’m so upset,” Kim barked. The day before last, Kim’s long-term boyfriend had yet again cancelled their plans to have a weekend outside of Paris. So far, he’d cancelled five times and Kim was done with his excuses.

“Five times, Greg. That’s how many times I have had to cancel this reservation. The woman from the Airbnb must think I’m a right mug.”

Kim could feel the fight in her wane. What was the point? She knew he wouldn’t change his plans for her.

“Kim, I told you this meeting was more important than a bloody weekend in some shitty backwater town. I can’t let the boss down,” he argued.

In a flash, Kim’s anger erupted. “No, but you have zero problem letting me down. You don’t even consider my feelings at all anymore.”

She was breathing hard. She couldn’t believe she’d let Greg treat her like this for so long.

Where the hell was the little firecracker she once prided herself on being? Why had she let this man disregard her thoughts and feelings all for the sake of a bloody job title? She was worth more than that.

“We need to take a break, Greg.”

“I agree. Let’s chat tonight. I’ll probably be home a little late, but I’ll try to get away before eight,” Greg chirped.

“No, you misunderstand. I want a break from us . I need some time to figure out what I want because I can’t keep living like this. I won’t be cast aside for a job. Not by anyone. I’ll stay with Anna for a while.” She rang off before Greg could even take a breath to reply.

Well, that was that, then. Now she just had to hope Anna didn’t mind her crashing at her apartment. Kim couldn’t see a reason her best friend would have a problem with it. She wasn’t even in the country at the minute, so her very nice and very big apartment in the 16th arrondissement was standing empty. It would be just the right place for her to take a breather and do some reassessing.

She took a couple of deep breaths. The pounding in her temples had lessened since she’d verbalised her wish to get some distance from her boyfriend, proving just how much stress he had been putting her through.

Kim

Hello my lovely, hope you and Sam are good. Any chance I could crash at yours for a while?

Kim didn’t know if Anna would be awake yet. It was just after two in the afternoon in Paris, which would make it around seven in the morning in Texas. Kim tapped her finger on her desk in anticipation. She really hoped Anna wouldn’t take too long to reply. As if she’d willed it, her phone buzzed. Anna was calling.

“Did I wake you?” Kim asked.

“No, no, it’s fine. Sam was up early anyway, and she’s like an elephant stomping round, so she woke me,” Anna said sleepily.

Kim smiled. Sam was going to be in trouble later. Anna was not a morning person, and she hated being woken earlier than her alarm.

“I’m sure she’ll make it up to you.” Kim giggled, knowing full well Anna and Sam were insatiable and found any excuse to ravish each other. Kim was envious of their relationship. She couldn’t remember a time she’d ever been ravished by Greg.

Their sex life had been a lot more active in their earlier years, but as of late, it had stalled to nothing. Kim spent plenty of time self-servicing, which was fine, but sometimes she just wanted someone to take her and worship her, just like Sam did with Anna.

“Oh, she’ll make it up to me alright,” Anna replied. Kim could hear the smile through the phone. “Anyway, enough of that. Why do you need to use the apartment? I mean, of course you can use it for as long as you like, but why do you need to? Are you okay?”

“I told Greg I need a break,” Kim said plainly. She’d already told Anna she was sick of coming second in his life.

“What happened?”

“He cancelled again. Something to do with a meeting that was ‘more important than a weekend in some shitty backwater town’. His words, exactly,” Kim growled. She could feel herself getting angry again.

“He really said that?” Anna gasped.

“Oh, yes, he really said that. I’ve had enough, Anna. I need to do a little soul searching.”

“In that case, stay in my apartment as long as you like, and I think you should take our reservation in Saint-Tropez next week.”

“I can’t do that. Anyway, why won’t you be going? I thought it was going to round off your travelling before coming back to work?”

“Sam got an offer to go to California to work with a big-shot photographer. I could see how excited she was, so I told her we would go there instead of Saint-Tropez. I haven’t got round to cancelling everything yet. If you go, I won’t have to call them. Please say you’ll save me from having to spend my day on the phone,” Anna whined.

It would be a wonderful way to de-stress. August was always slow in the office and Kim was due to take a few weeks off after Anna returned.

“Who is going to take over for me in the office? We’ve never been away at the same time?”

“Please…we have plenty of people to take over. I’m working from my laptop, so it’s not a major issue. Rachel and Emmanuelle are more than capable of running the place for a while. Say yes, Kim. You deserve it.”

Well, how could she say no to that? A few weeks away in the south of France sounded delightful, and she knew all too well the place Anna had booked would be far nicer than anything she could afford.

“Okay, yeah, why the hell not. Thanks, Anna, you’re a doll.” A smile blossomed across her face for the first time in two days. She was feeling better already.

“Bien . I’ll call the hotel and let them know there is a change of name. Call me anytime you want, Kim. You were the best friend I could have asked for when I was working through my stuff. I want you to know I’m here for you.”

Anna had leaned on Kim when she’d finally left her boyfriend and came out. Kim was so proud of her, especially when she met Sam. They were made for each other, even if it had taken them both a little time to accept it. Kim and Anna became close friends during that time, and she knew without a shadow of a doubt, Anna would be there for her in a flash if she needed it.

“Thanks, love. Don’t worry, though, I’m okay. A little time away will clear my head and help me decide what I want.”

“Still, I’m only a phone call away.”

“I know. Now try to get back to sleep. I’m sure Sam has plans to exhaust you later,” Kim laughed.

“You know us too well. I probably need to stop telling you so much about our sex life,” Anna giggled.

“Don’t you dare. I live vicariously through you.”

“Take care, Kim. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Bye, doll. Give Sam a kiss from me.”

Kim rolled her shoulders. She felt the tension radiate in her neck. It was no wonder her head had been giving her trouble. Looking at the clock on her computer, she realised she’d worked through her lunch hour again; something she’d done all week.

Instead of continuing with work, Kim took the afternoon off. Her apartment was only twenty minutes away, leaving enough time to pack a few items and head over to Anna’s. Waiting around for Greg to get home was pointless.

The August heat in Paris was stifling. There was no chance Kim was going to subject herself to the heat and smell of the Métro. Walking meant her twenty-minute commute time would double, but it was necessary.

There wasn’t a cloud in the sky as Kim walked the streets to her apartment. The café terraces were full. People of all ages crammed under little umbrellas, sheltering from the sun’s relentless heat. Kim felt beads of sweat roll down her back. How anyone could wear suit trousers in this weather was beyond her.

Kim was a dress gal. She owned a lot of them. Her love of vintage dresses was well known. Her friends and family were all taken aback at the sheer number of pin-up-style dresses she owned. Today was one of many days she was thankful she had plenty of dress options at her disposal. She might sweat, but at least the bit of breeze that was blowing cooled her legs and arse. There was nothing worse than having an overheated crotch!

Finally, her street came into view. The walk had taken longer than expected, and she was positive she’d caught the sun on her face and neck. The last obstacle she faced was the three flights of stairs in her black patent heels. For most women it would have proven to be too much, but not for Kim. She was like a ninja in high heels. She’d learnt to walk in them from an early age.

Kim was small, and she’d been teased relentlessly as a child. As she got older, she’d silenced the bullies by strutting around masterfully in heels that were not for the fainthearted. Kim drew confidence through wearing high-heeled shoes. They made her feel invincible, and they made her legs look fabulous. No one could bring her down when she had her trusty heels on.

Kim cracked open the door to the apartment. A bit of her hoped Greg would prove her wrong and she would find him waiting for her. Her heart sank a little when she realised she was alone in the apartment. She let herself have a moment before straightening her shoulders. She was here for a reason, and she needed to get on with it.

Pulling her suitcase from under the bed, she began picking out her clothes. Swimwear was a definite must for her trip to Saint Tropez. She picked out a range of dresses that made her feel confident and carefully packed them away. Kim was naturally organised, so packing took her less than half an hour.

The thought of lugging her suitcase to Anna’s in the heat filled her with dread. A taxi was the sensible option, so she ordered one from her phone. Slowly, she descended the stairs. As good as she was at navigating stairs in heels, doing that with a suitcase in tow was a different matter entirely. The last thing she wanted was to fall, or worse, break a heel.

After what seemed a lifetime, she finally reached the ground floor. Parts of her hair had come out of her signature high ponytail and were sticking to the sides of her face. God, she couldn’t wait to get to Anna’s and freshen up.

The taxi was idling outside her apartment building. Kim had never been so happy to see a Parisian taxi driver in all her life. She noticed him look her up and down, clearly appreciating what he saw.

Being noticed wasn’t something new. Kim seemed to draw attention from both men and women, which suited her just fine. It was nice to be seen and nice to have someone look at her and make her feel good about the way she looked. Greg used to do that, but not anymore. She was lucky if he even noticed her at all lately.

Forcing a smile on her face, she greeted the driver. He’d raced out of the car to take her suitcase. The car was wonderfully cool, and the A/C soothed her overheated skin deliciously. The driver hadn’t said very much apart from a quick “Bonjour .” He was, however, throwing her glances in the rear-view mirror, his eyes travelling to her cleavage. She wondered if he would drum up the courage to ask her for her number before the journey was over.

Kim paid the driver using the contactless card machine. It was so much easier than carrying cash. As soon as the payment cleared, the driver scrambled out to open her door. He looked as if he were going to ask her something, but was interrupted by the doorman, who offered to take Kim’s luggage. Anna had probably called ahead to let him know she would be arriving.

The taxi driver left, looking a little crestfallen, but he wasn’t to know that even if he’d found the courage to ask for her number, he would’ve been shot down. As much as she enjoyed a bit of attention now and then, she certainly wasn’t the type of person to lead someone on. Even if things with Greg were rocky, she wasn’t in the right headspace for anyone right now.

Kim loved Anna’s apartment. It was luxurious, yet homey. Originally, Anna had temporarily rented the apartment when she was taking some time for herself a couple of years ago. It was in this apartment where she met Sam, who turned out to be renting the apartment across the street. Sam and Anna’s story was complex, but utterly adorable. They’d been thrown together by chance, only to find out they knew each other at university.

Kim’s story with Greg was far from adorable. She’d met him in school, they’d dated, and that was that. No big romance, no fairytale. Maybe that’s what was wrong: Maybe their relationship should have been a high school romance and nothing more. Kim sighed.

It can’t have all been a mistake, surely?

After throwing her suitcase in the bedroom, Kim ordered a pizza from her favourite restaurant. Nothing made her feel better than a tomato and pesto pizza. There was no need for her to unpack. She knew which dresses she would wear for the rest of the week, and all her other clothes could stay in the case, ready for her holiday.

The thought of Saint-Tropez filled her with excitement. It had been years since she’d been able to go on a proper holiday where she could completely relax. Holidays with Greg usually ended in bickering. They wanted to do different things. Greg wanted to find a sports bar and sit there all day, drinking and watching football. It was Kim’s worst nightmare.

For her, a holiday should be filled with culture and adventure. A few days of sitting by a pool to relax was also necessary, along with cocktails with little umbrellas, of course. Yes, this was just what she needed; no stress, and time for herself to unwind and figure some stuff out.

The strain of the day was weighing heavily. Her body ached, and after inhaling an entire pizza, she was suffering from a case of “food coma fatigue”. Her eyes felt like lead weights. Anna’s enormous bed was calling. Her head barely touched the pillow before she was unconscious.

Saint-Tropez was an undiscovered land, and Kim was more than excited to spend her holiday exploring every nook and cranny.

The week in Anna’s apartment had been fabulous. She’d worked a couple of days remotely, taking full advantage of the little table that sat by the full-length French windows. Her days had been spent tapping away on her laptop, stopping now and then to peer down at the street below, people watching as the sun shone down, kissing her face.

Greg had called twice and left a few messages on her phone. From what Kim heard, he wasn’t taking their separation seriously. He’d asked her to pick up his dry-cleaning next week and told her his friends were visiting in ten days, therefore, he expected her to plan a dinner party. Kim had simply shaken her head after listening to his voicemails.

The flight to Nice had been easy. Thankfully, the flight had only lasted an hour and a half and there’d been no turbulence to deal with. If flying was that easy all the time, she’d travel more. Kim loved the idea of jetting around the world, if only her bank balance allowed her to do more than dream about it.

The car Anna rented for her was parked waiting outside the airport. It was a beautiful and expensive convertible, perfect for the drive along the coast to Saint-Tropez. So far, her holiday was off to a wonderful start.

Kim pulled into the assigned parking space, which was listed on the confirmation email Anna had forwarded to her. A young bellboy in a very smart uniform opened her door, gesturing for her to exit the vehicle.

“Welcome to The Sapphire Hotel and Spa,” he said in perfect English.

“Oh, thank you,” Kim replied, feeling a little out of her depth.

“Please head inside and register at the front desk. Thomas is currently on duty and will take care of all the paperwork. I’ll have your luggage waiting for you.”

“Right, thank you again.” Her voice shook slightly out of nerves.

The lobby boasted clean, sleek lines. It was everything Kim imagined a modern luxury hotel and spa would look like. If the rooms and spa area were anything near as nice as the lobby, Kim was going to be one lucky woman.

“Hello, I’d like to check in, please,” Kim said sweetly to the man behind the desk she presumed was Thomas.

“Of course. Can I take your name, please?”

“Kim Richmond.”

Thomas set about clacking on the keyboard in front of him, his brow furrowed in confusion. “I’m sorry, but I don’t have a reservation in that name,” he said after a few more seconds of clicking his mouse.

“Really, that’s strange. My friends booked the master suite. They couldn’t make it, so she called to change the reservation to my name.” Shifting from foot to foot, Kim was getting the feeling her holiday was about to become less than perfect.

“Can I have the original name?” Thomas asked.

“Anna and Sam Chambers.” Thomas clicked and clacked for a little while longer, his face still a picture of confusion.

“I’m very sorry, but that reservation was cancelled. The suite has since been booked. We don’t have any vacancies until the beginning of September.”

“That can’t be right. Look, I have the confirmation here,” she said, showing Thomas the email Anna had sent her.

“That’s the original reservation, but since then, Ms Chambers has cancelled the room. We received the call last week,” he said calmly.

Kim was feeling anything but calm. “No, she called to amend the booking, not cancel,” Kim shot.

“One minute, please.” Thomas picked up the phone that sat next to his computer. Kim listened as he conversed quickly in French. She saw his face drop and a blush form around his neck.

“I can only apologise, Ms Richmond. The call to amend the booking was taken by a summer intern, and instead of changing the name, she cancelled it by mistake.”

Kim stood stock-still, glaring at Thomas. She was willing herself to keep her temper in check. “So, what now?” she demanded.

“There isn’t anything I can do. All the rooms are booked. I’m so sorry. Ms Chambers will receive a full refund.”

“What good is a refund when I’m on holiday without a room?” Kim barked.

“I’m so sorry.” Thomas twiddled his thumbs together nervously.

Kim needed to calm down. It wasn’t his fault a mistake had been made. “Sorry, Thomas, forgive me for getting upset. It’s not your fault. I just don’t know what to do now.”

“Let me make some calls. Maybe another hotel will have some availability.” His face was sincere with regret.

“No, it’s okay. This was a treat from my friend. I couldn’t afford a hotel like this. Do you mind if I sit for a few minutes to organise myself?” she asked, pointing to one of the large white sofas that lined the lobby.

“Of course. Take as long as you want.”

Kim felt the sting of tears in her eyes. Her perfect holiday was over before it even started. What was she going to do? She couldn’t face the idea of returning to Paris. She desperately needed space from Greg and her life.

In reality, though, what choice did she have but to jump on the next flight home? She couldn’t afford anything in Saint-Tropez, not even a cheap room. Her budget only covered a bit of spending money for the duration of her trip.

She felt the tears spill from her eyes. Her shoulders shook as she fought to keep control of her emotions. Just as she was about to lose all hope and control, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Kim looked up and saw a familiar face laced with concern.

“Kim?”

Two

H élène smoothed down the front of her dress. She was nervous. Today would be her fourth date with Jenny, an Australian reporter who’d moved from Sydney to work in Paris for eighteen months. The time limit wasn’t ideal, but Hélène tried to remain hopeful. No reason to sabotage a new relationship, all because the other person might leave for the other side of the world in a year’s time. Right?

They’d hit it off from the moment they’d met. Hélène had literally bumped into Jenny as she was exiting her local café. After a few apologies on both sides, they’d grabbed a coffee together, which led to their first date that same night.

Jenny was fun and adventurous, with a zest for life and travel. It surprised Hélène to learn how many countries Jenny had lived in. In normal circumstances, that would’ve been a red flag. Clearly, Jenny wasn’t someone who stuck around. Hélène buried that little red flag all the way in the back of her mind, though, because beggars couldn’t be choosers.

Okay, so Jenny wasn’t the ideal candidate at first glance, but Hélène chose to remain positive, testing the waters by going on a second date, which had been a success. On the third date they’d slept together, and it had been great. Not just because it ended a rather long dry spell on Hélène’s part, but because they seemed compatible between the sheets.

Fourth date territory was promising. Surely Jenny wouldn’t be investing her time if she were just going to up sticks and leave. No, tonight’s date was going to be a step in the right direction. Hélène could feel it in her bones.

She gave herself another look over in the mirror. The dress looked like it’d been tailored to her body, which it actually had been. She ran her hand through her long ash-blonde hair, giving it a little ruffle. Yes, now she was ready.

Henry opened the car door. “Bonsoir , Hélène,” he said with a brief nod. Hélène was very fond of Henry. He’d been her driver for years.

“Bonsoir , Henry,” she replied before slipping into the back seat.

The ride to the restaurant would have been achievable by foot if Hélène wasn’t wearing ridiculous heels. Hélène was much happier in trainers or flip-flops; however, because of her job, she was used to wearing uncomfortable footwear. She was the office manager for one of Paris’s top photography houses, therefore, not a place for comfortable shoes, more’s the pity.

The car pulled up, and Henry was out of his seat in a flash. Another reason Hélène loved Henry as her driver: He was efficient.

“Thank you, Henry,” Hélène said sweetly.

“Have a good evening, Hélène,” he replied, before closing her door and getting back in the driver’s seat. She knew he would only drive around the corner and wait for her to call him when she was ready to leave.

Hélène squared her shoulders and headed into the restaurant. She was getting excited at the prospect of sex again. It really had been too long. Her excitement crashed and burned as she spotted Jenny, who was sitting at the bar. Jenny was not dressed for a date. In fact, it didn’t appear to Hélène that Jenny planned to stick around for any length of time, if her packed bag was anything to go by.

“Hey, you,” Jenny chirped.

“Um, hi.” She couldn’t match Jenny’s enthusiasm.

“So…this sucks, but I have to leave. Work stuff.” Jenny didn’t elaborate.

“Oh, okay. When will you be back?”

“Probably won’t be, in all honesty. Listen, it was awesome meeting you. Maybe in another life, eh?” Jenny chuckled. What could she possibly find amusing?

“Right, in another life,” Hélène parroted. What else could she say? Jenny swooped down and hauled her bag over her shoulder. She leant in and gave Hélène a chaste kiss on the lips.

“See ya,” Jenny winked, before leaving Hélène standing by herself at the bar, feeling like a fool. She was in shock. How had a promising night of drinks and sex, turned into such utter garbage?

Feeling the sting of tears in her eyes, she knew she had to get out of that goddamn restaurant. It was one thing having people witness her being broken up with. It would be another thing entirely, for them to see her break down.

Turning on the spot, she marched out with her head held high. Thankfully, she’d been right about Henry sticking close, because within a minute, he pulled up and opened her door. He said nothing, and Hélène was grateful. She wasn’t sure she could hold herself together if he asked if she were okay.

The brutal truth was she was far from okay. Hélène’s luck in love was non-existent. In fact, she often thought she was cursed. Every woman she connected with left. As her mood grew more morose, Hélène knew she couldn’t be alone right now. The thought of going back to her empty apartment was too much.

I don’t need a relationship. I just need a good fuck.

Hélène was so sick and tired of feeling like this—feeling unlovable. It was time for her to make a change. If she couldn’t get a woman to stick around for the long haul, she’d change her way of thinking. If a quick fling or one-night stand was all she could manage, then fine, fuck settling down, fuck a quiet domesticated life, she’d play the field.

Honestly, Hélène had always found it easy to get a woman into bed. Maybe that’s what she should stick to. She asked Henry to drop her off at her old haunt, a pub for queer women. It was years since she’d last visited. Maybe it had changed, but she doubted it.

The pub hadn’t changed in the slightest. The decor was exactly the same. It was supposed to mirror a traditional English pub, but Hélène wasn’t convinced English country pubs had statues and posters of naked women all over the place.

“Martini, please,” she half shouted at the barwoman. The music was a little loud.

God, I’m getting old .

Sitting there nursing her drink, her resolve to become a carefree womaniser was quickly disappearing as she looked around the pub full of baby dykes. This wasn’t what she’d envisioned for herself at thirty-four. She’d left her party days behind at the end of her twenties.

Where was she going wrong?

All her dates started off well. Some even made it to the relationship stage, but then they all crashed and burned. Every single woman left her. The hard part was none of them left because of her . Each one had a personal reason to go. Hélène started mentally checking off her list of exes.

Amelie : Left to care for her dad after he suffered a stroke.

Lucie : Won a grant to work in Antarctica.

Clara : Went into business with her brother in Italy.

Lauren : Took a job in the UK.

Sam : Only wanted to be friends once she realised Hélène had ties to her ex.

Ella : Moved to the US to complete her PhD after taking a year sabbatical from studies (something Hélène wished Ella had mentioned before they’d started dating) and finally…

Jenny : Work stuff!

Hélène rolled her eyes at the last name on the list. Jesus, surely she was worth more than a two-word explanation.

The music was getting louder and Hélène’s mood was not improving, especially after she’d been hit on several times by women who were at least ten years younger than her, and drunk.

Swallowing the rest of her drink in one, she stood up to leave. She had no desire to take anyone to bed tonight. Maybe she needed a break from dating and women. Maybe she should use up her many holiday days to get away and regroup.

Yes, that’s what she needed: sun, sea, and absolutely no lesbians!

Hélène’s bathroom came into focus as she woke. Her cheek was stuck to the toilet seat. Never in all her thirty-four years had she regretted drinking wine like she did at that very moment. Two bottles—that’s the amount of wine she’d consumed after arriving back home from the pub.

Oh dear God, I’m dying .

Hélène wasn’t usually the type of person to drink her feelings away, but last night had really taken the biscuit. Gingerly, she lifted her head, testing her capability of movement. Unsurprisingly, she felt like she was being fucked in the skull by a sledgehammer.

Staying propped against the loo wasn’t an option. Deciding to brave the pain, she crawled over to her walk-in luxury shower. Her bathroom wasn’t huge, but she was lucky enough to have both a shower and a separate bath, something uncommon for small Parisian apartments.

God knows what kind of tragic mess she looked right now. That was something to worry about later, though, because now she needed to shower, brush her teeth, and consume her body’s weight in water and grease.

Showered and smelling less like a pub carpet, Hélène walked slowly into her kitchen. Although the last thing her stomach wanted was food, she knew she needed her miracle hangover cure: eggs, bacon, and cheese in a toasted roll. A combination which had never failed her.

A little slower than usual, Hélène cooked her saviour sandwich. It took her around half an hour to eat it. Her stomach protested with every bite, but she finally ate it all. Now she had to wait. The longest it had ever taken her to feel better after said sandwich was two hours.

Three hours and forty minutes later, Hélène could finally feel her hangover subside. Now she was just left with the memories of her less than stellar night. Jenny. Being alone. The pub. And last but not least, sadness.

Wow, she really was a ray of sunshine. Although she also remembered the idea of getting away for a while. That thought was what she needed to cling to. In fact, she needed to get organised. Hélène knew herself too well. The longer she thought about it, the less likely she would do it. Spontaneity was key.

“No time like the present,” she said to absolutely no one, because that was her life—alone and talking to herself. Pulling herself out of her momentary dark cloud, she grabbed her phone and hit speed dial. The phone rang for what seemed a lifetime. It was a long shot trying to get JJ on the phone, but she had to try. He was the one that could grant her the wish of a luxury holiday. Just as she was about to hang up, the call connected.

“Hélène, how are you, squirt?” JJ chuckled. Hélène knew full well he loved winding her up using a nickname he had given her as a child.

“Oh, I’m peachy,” she said dryly.

“Uh-oh, what’s up?” JJ, or John Spencer Junior, was Hélène’s half-brother. The world, however, knew him as one of the most successful entrepreneurs to have ever walked the earth. Hélène just saw him as her irritating older brother.

They shared a father—if you could really class him as a father, he was more like a sperm donor to both her and JJ. Phillipe DuBois was a wealthy businessman, known for his cutthroat business practices and womanising. Hélène never really understood what her mother had seen in him. Hélène realised he was a waste of space early on. God knows why her mother kept his surname after the divorce.

The one positive relationship she’d got out of her father was JJ. They’d always been close. She’d never seen JJ as a half-brother. He was her brother in every way. Hélène was a little ashamed she’d asked JJ to keep her name separate from his own. If the public knew she was related to him—well, let’s just say trusting new relationships and friendships would be impossible. She couldn’t stand the thought of people trying to build friendships with her just to get close to the wonder that was John Spencer.

It was a jaded way to look at it, but she’d seen it happen enough times with her mum and JJ’s late wife, Claire, to know people rarely had the best intentions when they knew you were related to John Spencer. So, as far as the world was concerned, Hélène DuBois was just another employee in one of his many businesses.

Obviously, as she got to know someone, whether that be someone she was dating or just making new friends, she eventually introduced them to JJ. But nine times out of ten, that never worked out either.

“Oh, you know, another woman bites the dust. This time, though, I thought drowning my liver was a good idea.” Hélène grimaced when her stomach rolled at the thought of alcohol.

“Ah, right, how did that work out for you?” he chuckled. At least someone found her situation funny.

“Wonderful, I feel like a million euros. The highlight of it all was waking up glued to the toilet seat,” she huffed.

“Oh, Christ, squirt,” he laughed. “What can I do to help?”

“Actually, I was hoping I could borrow Connie ?”

“Sure, I’m not using her. She’s free all summer.” To anyone listening in, their conversation could be taken the wrong way. Hélène was definitely not asking to borrow a woman. Connie was JJ’s superyacht moored in Saint-Tropez.

“I’ll call Bobby and get him to set her up. How does next weekend sound?”

“That’s fantastic. Thanks, JJ, I owe you one.”

“No, you don’t. Just go and chill. Maybe I can fly down for a weekend—spend some quality time with my sister?” For the first time in twenty-four hours, Hélène smiled. She might not be able to get a woman to love her, but at least she had her brother. JJ was the type of guy who had no problems showing his feelings.

“That would be the best thing ever!” she bellowed. “You know, I might spend the week at The Sapphire. It’s been ages since I’ve had a good spa treatment.”

“Brilliant idea. The penthouse will be reserved already. I like to have it booked just in case I need to have a weekend of calm.”

“You sure you don’t mind me using it?”

“Not a bit. I can’t get down there for a few weeks, lots to do here in London, but I promise to find time when you’re aboard Connie . Probably in three or four weeks.”

“I wasn’t planning to be away that long, JJ. I’ve got a business to oversee.”

“Oh, bollocks. Listen, squirt, this is the first time in years you’ve asked for a holiday. I’m insisting you take the next five weeks off. The office will be fine. No arguments.” His tone was final.

“Well, if you insist.” She couldn’t help but chuckle. JJ, getting all bossy on her, was hilarious. Most people quaked in their boots when John Spencer got stern. Hélène was not most people. She knew the teddy bear behind the “big boss” persona.

Once they’d rounded up the conversation with a quick catch up, Hélène called and arranged for JJ’s jet to take her to Saint-Tropez. She’d need a day to organise and pack, and then she was free to start her holiday. Letting out a long breath, she could already feel the tight knots in her back ease. Sun, sea, and NO lesbians—just what she needed.

There were some definite perks to being related to JJ. The company’s private jet was just one of them. Normally, Hélène had no problem taking a commercial flight, but this time she wanted to indulge a little. The flight to Nice had been smooth flying all the way. The Champagne and cheese had been a bonus mid-flight.

Organising cover for the office had been a cinch. JJ was right, as usual. The Paris office had always run like a well-oiled machine. Hélène had plenty of support. Sébastien agreed to fill her position whilst she was away. There was no one more suited than Seb. She trusted him completely, often wondering if he should really hold her position full-time.

Managing the office was okay. It filled her days, but it wasn’t her passion. The formidable Veronique DuBois—Hélène’s overbearing and critical mother—would have preferred her daughter follow her into the fashion business, but to her immense disappointment, Hélène had never wanted that life.

The drive to Saint-Tropez was just as easy as the flight. Henry had agreed to fly down with her and drive her around as needed. Hélène sometimes worried she was asking too much of her loyal driver. When she’d voiced her concerns to him one evening, he’d told her in no uncertain terms that his job meant the world to him and that it gave him a sense of purpose.

Henry was a widower with no children. Driving Hélène around was what kept him sane. How could she argue with that? Anyway, the perks of being her driver were pretty damn good. Henry travelled the world with Hélène, benefitting from fancy hotels and upscale restaurants.

Hélène rolled her neck as the car swung into the hotel’s parking area. As usual, Henry was out of the car like a shot, holding the door open for her. The bell boy had already begun unloading her luggage.

Hélène had stayed at The Sapphire Hotel and Spa several times. Once with Claire, JJ’s late wife, twice with her mother—those had not been the most relaxing days—and once more on her own. It was the ultimate experience of luxury and indulgence, and Hélène couldn’t wait to bask in it once again.

Hélène strode into the lobby. Thomas was at the desk as usual, but this time he looked a little ashen faced. It was only when she heard someone sniffing behind her she understood something was wrong. It was the kind of sniffing someone did when they were trying to keep themselves from crying.

Following Thomas’s gaze over to the white couches, Hélène saw a familiar face. It was a face that was pretty unforgettable. Hélène’s brow creased as she looked at Kim, attempting to keep herself together.

Something was seriously wrong. There was no way she could walk away and start her holiday when someone she knew was in distress. Hélène gave Thomas a little smile and walked over to Kim. She didn’t want to frighten her, so she gently lay her hand on Kim’s shoulder. “Kim?”

Hélène’s breath hitched when Kim looked up into her eyes. Kim was a blonde bombshell. Her eyes were the colour of the Mediterranean Sea, crystal clear and shining, but they were shining with unshed tears. Whatever was happening, Hélène knew her holiday was about to change drastically.

“Hélène, what are you doing here?” Kim spluttered.

“I’m staying here for a week on holiday. I presume you’re doing the same?”

“I was,” Kim cried, tears falling down her face.

“Hey, no crying. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I was supposed to be staying in Anna’s room. She and Sam are still in the US, so they gave me the reservation. I got here and the intern who was supposed to amend the booking cancelled it instead of changing it,” Kim hiccupped.

Hélène began rubbing soothing circles on Kim’s back, desperately trying to get her to calm down.

“All the other rooms are booked and I can’t afford any other hotel in the area,” Kim stuttered. “I’ve got nowhere to go and I can’t go home yet. I needed this holiday so much.”

Hélène could certainly understand that. What could she do, though? It seemed her mouth had the answer, because before she registered what was happening, she’d invited Kim to stay in the suite with her.

“I can’t do that,” Kim protested.

“Why not? I’ve got a penthouse suite with three bedrooms and it’s only me in it. You need a room, so stay in one of the spares. No big deal.”

Clearly, it was a big deal, because Kim started crying even harder. Hélène didn’t know what to do. She was usually excellent in a crisis and at comforting people, but she was really struggling with Kim.

“Thank you, Hélène. Thank you so much. You don’t know what this means.”

Hélène was almost knocked off the sofa when Kim launched herself into her body, hugging her hard. Hélène relaxed a little and hugged Kim back. It seemed she was finally calming down.

“I’ll just let Thomas know you will stay with me.”

Kim sat back and gave a brief nod. Hélène could see she was trying to compose herself. Thomas appreciated Hélène’s offer and was very apologetic. He gave Kim free treatments for the entire week as an apology, something that went a long way to cheering Kim up.

Warning bells sounded loudly in Hélène’s head as she felt a warm sensation spread over her body at the sight of Kim smiling, until she reminded herself Kim had a longtime boyfriend, that was. Her rules of sun, sea, and no lesbians were still intact. She had no reason to panic. In fact, having a little eye candy to look at was a bonus to her trip—not that she objectified women, but who was she kidding? Kim was beautiful.

I wonder what she looks like in a bathing suit?

Three

A three-headed Martian could’ve turned up and Kim still wouldn’t have been as shocked and surprised as she was when she looked up to see Hélène standing in front of her as she had a complete and utter fucking meltdown.

Hélène offering Kim a room in the penthouse suite was such a kind offer, it left her feeling all kinds of things. Kim and Hélène had only met a handful of times outside of their friendship group. Hélène had slept with Sam once, but for a reason Kim wasn’t completely clear on, they’d decided to be friends and nothing more, which turned out to be the right call. Sam and Anna belonged together.

Aside from those meetings, Kim and Hélène had exchanged a few emails and messages when organising things between their friends; Sam’s leaving party, for example. That was before Sam and Anna got their shit together. Kim still rolled her eyes to this day at the stupidity of them both.

After Hélène arranged everything with Thomas at the front desk, she motioned for Kim to follow her over to the lifts. Kim was still in a bit of a weird headspace, considering the day she was having. To her relief, Hélène didn’t fill the silence with chatter. She was quite happy to let the quiet surround them as they entered the lift and ascended to the penthouse suite.

If Kim thought the lobby was special, she was gobsmacked when Hélène keyed them into the penthouse. She’d never seen anything so luxurious in her life. The suite was bigger than any apartment she’d ever lived in.

Everything was a crisp white, with hints of colour woven throughout the room in the canvases and ornaments expertly placed on the walls and furniture. The large corner sofa was sunk into the floor, facing a wall of glass windows. The view itself was breathtaking. Kim was struggling to take it all in. She was sure the suite Anna booked would’ve been nice, but not this kind of nice.

“Pick a room. I usually take the one on the left,” Hélène said, pointing down the corridor. Kim had almost forgotten she was there.

“Oh, sure. I’ll take the one on the right then.” Why was she nervous? Kim was an upbeat, confident woman. This was ridiculous.

“You look like you’ve had one hell of a day. Care to talk about it over a cocktail?” Hélène was already dialling the phone on the table by the door for room service.

“Oh God, I’d kill for a drink.” Kim was feeling infinitely better already.

“Great. What’s your poison?”

“Will you judge me if I say a piña colada?” Kim grinned. Hélène laughed and Kim’s stomach clenched. She’d never noticed Hélène’s low and velvety laugh before.

“I promise not to judge. In fact, I’ll join you,” she said, before putting in their order along with some appetisers. “They’ll be up in a few minutes. Why don’t we drop our cases in the rooms and get comfortable? After all, we have to get ready for some serious rest and relaxation,” she added with a wink.

Kim grinned again, like an idiot. She couldn’t wait to shed her dress, put on a ridiculously comfy bathrobe, and pig out on food and cocktails. The fact Hélène was here with her was icing on the cake.

Why is having her here icing on the cake?

Kim’s bedroom—or should she say the massive fucking room that was, once again, bigger than her own apartment—was stunning! Just like the rest of the suite, the colours were bright, crisp, and clean. The bed was enormous and Kim could not wait to starfish the hell out of it.

The door had barely clicked shut before she stripped off her dress, followed by her underwear. She hated feeling claggy after a day of travelling, so she needed to freshen up pronto! Heaving her case onto the bed, she unzipped it, looking for her thinnest pyjamas. The heat wasn’t suffocating because they had air conditioning, but it was still warm.

Kim laughed out loud and shook her head as she entered her private bathroom. The room was covered from floor to ceiling in marble. The shower was a large walk-in that could easily accommodate five people…or two very horny and adventurous people.

Kim shook her head again. Jesus, she needed a shag, or at least give herself some self-love. The thought of sex excited and confused her, though, because when she looked at the shower and envisioned all the naughty things she could get up to in it, it wasn’t Greg she saw in there with her.

Even though she’d made it clear to Greg they were taking time apart, she wasn’t ready to think about jumping into the sack—or shower—with anyone else yet. Not until they’d had time to really talk and explore where they were in their relationship. That would be if Greg could get his head out of his arse and take Kim seriously.

Feeling her mood sour at the thought of Greg and their questionable relationship status, Kim snapped on the shower and dived under the rainfall of water. Instantly, her worries washed away along with the grime of the day.

With no idea how long she’d been under the water because she’d been in a trancelike state, she jumped when she heard Hélène call her from the living room. The food and alcohol had arrived.

Quickly drying herself off, she removed her contact lenses. How did she always forget to take them out before showering? Slipping on her silk camisole and matching shorts, she wrapped herself up in the plush robe that hung on the back of the bathroom door.

Another thing she frequently forgot to do was put her glasses in reaching distance for when she’d removed the aforementioned contacts. She let out a huff of irritation at her mistake and slowly felt her way to the bed and suitcase. Thankfully, she’d put her glasses in an easy access part of her luggage. It seemed her brain knew she would need to find them through the sense of touch alone.

After a couple of seconds of rummaging and opening her glasses case, she could see clearly again. Suddenly, a knot tightened in her stomach. No one ever saw Kim in her glasses. Greg obviously had, but even Anna had only seen her in them once, and that was by mistake.

Kim felt uncomfortable with people seeing her in her specs. She’d been the same from a young child. Her mum had always told her she looked “super cute”, which didn’t make her feel any better. Kim didn’t want to be cute; she wanted to be fierce and commanding.

That feeling came from the fact her height had always been a subject of ridicule. She’d mainly dealt with that through impressive heel skills, but the glasses were a different matter. Kids were cruel, and their words had left a lasting impression on her. Nothing made her more self-conscious than her glasses.

It’d taken years for her mum to agree to contact lenses. After Joy finally relented, Kim swore she’d never let anyone see her in her glasses, which made her feel less than her confident self. But now, in this gorgeous suite, she was going to have to let one more person see.

Breaking open a new set of lenses had floated through her mind, but her eyes were sore and dry from all the crying she’d done in the lobby. No, she just had to suck it up and let Hélène see. First, she needed her trusty high heel slippers. Glasses were one thing. No heels as well? Out of the question.

Hélène had her back to Kim as she entered the open-plan living room. She was clearly enjoying the view of the sea. Kim gave a nervous cough to signal her arrival. Hélène turned slowly. Kim held her breath, hoping Hélène wouldn’t make a comment. She watched Hélène’s eyes grow a little wider, but she said nothing. After a beat, Hélène gestured to the food and cocktails that had been laid out on the coffee table.

“Feel better now?” Hélène’s voice sounded a little husky.

“Oh, Jesus, much better. I could spend the week standing in that shower,” Kim smiled, remembering how wonderful the cascading water felt on her skin.

“Tell me about it. The first time I came here, my friend had to drag me out of mine.” She laughed. Kim saw a shadow of a memory pass over Hélène’s face.

What is she remembering?

They both sat down on the sofa, clearly a little uncomfortable with each other. Kim made the first move and grabbed her drink. “Bottoms up,” she cheered, before gulping down two-thirds in one go. Hélène laughed, reached for her drink, and followed Kim’s lead. At this rate, they were going to be half-cut within an hour.

“I’ll call down and order a steady stream of these bad boys.” Kim announced, her confidence was back with a vengeance. Hélène simply giggled as she watched Kim strut over to the phone to call in their order.

“I’m not sure The Sapphire is ready for the likes of me,” Kim giggled, half joking. Kim liked a good time, although it’d been a while since she’d felt so carefree.

“Should I be worried?” Hélène replied with an affable grin. Kim’s stomach did a little flip. She’d always found Hélène stunning, but let’s face it, in Paris there were stunning women around every corner.

“Depends.”

“On?” Hélène asked, a little quieter. Her voice was even huskier than before.

“Do you intend to let your hair down and have some fun?”

“Oh, that’s a given. I desperately need some fun.”

“Stick with me, doll. I’ll get you there,” Kim winked, amused at the red tinge that appeared on Hélène’s cheeks. Hélène cleared her throat before finishing her drink and nibbling on some appetisers.

“So, do you want to talk about today?” Hélène asked through a mouthful of mini quiche. Kim weighed her options. Yes, today had been a rollercoaster of emotions, and it would probably do her good to vent a little, but she was more interested in having fun with Hélène. Maybe they could become proper friends outside of the group dynamic?

“Maybe later. Right now, I want to devour some pastries and cocktails. It’s been far too long since I’ve had a proper holiday, and I can honestly say I’ve never had one this luxurious.”

“Yes, it’s definitely a good way to spend your time.” Hélène was looking directly at her, and although Kim’s gaze had been surveying the suite in more detail, she didn’t miss the fact that Hélène was staring intensely. Interesting.

Kim was several piña coladas in and was thoroughly enjoying the buzz. From the looks of Hélène, who was now sprawled on the other end of the sofa, she was enjoying herself, too. More time must have passed than Kim was aware of. She felt like they’d only been chatting for an hour or so, but when she glanced at her phone, she saw they’d been eating and drinking for nearly four hours.

The sun had started to set, and they were in for one hell of a view from where they sat.

“Have you seen the time?” Kim slurred. Clearly, she was a little more than buzzed.

Hélène giggled. “What does time matter when you’re having fun?”

“You speak wisely.” Kim tried to keep her features serious. She lost the battle and laughed. God, they were having a blast. “I’m so glad you rescued me today, H.”

“Well, I couldn’t exactly leave you in the lobby, could I? I am a gentlewoman.”

“Gentlewoman?” Kim giggled.

“What, too butch?” Hélène smirked.

“Not at all. I think more women should be called gentlewomen. I was just thinking how right you are to call yourself one. There aren’t many people who would offer a room on their vacation to an acquaintance,” Kim stated matter-of-factly.

“Can I let you in on a little secret?” Hélène whispered, raising her index finger to her mouth, making a little “shh” sound. Kim leaned forward, which was harder than it sounded, considering the room felt as if it were spinning.

“I’m a vault. Lay it on me, H, baby.”

Hélène laughed harder, which made Kim smile. She couldn’t get enough of that low, sexy laugh.

“It was a little selfish on my part. I came on holiday because I was feeling super sorry for myself, and a little lonely, if I’m honest. Meeting you here and offering you a room was just what I needed. You’re fun.” Hélène smiled widely.

Kim knew she meant every word, and it was a lovely thing to hear, but she was also concerned that Hélène had come here feeling lonely.

“Why were you feeling sorry for yourself? Do you want to talk about it?”

“How about we take a raincheck on it for tonight? We’re having too much fun to get mopey again.” Hélène shuffled herself off the couch to her knees. “Wow, I’m getting old. Who knew getting off a couch at thirty-four would be a problem?” she chuckled.

“Getting off a couch with a litre of rum inside you would be an issue for anyone,” Kim added before gracefully standing up. The look on Hélène’s face was highly amusing. She looked at Kim’s face, then down at Kim’s high-heeled slippers, and back again, several times.

“How can you say that when you have just risen off the couch like a Norse goddess in heels?” Hélène shot, her tone laced with surprise and admiration. “I’d have rolled both my ankles by now.”

“I can do anything wearing heels.” Fact.

“Anything?” Hélène said, raising her eyebrows.

“Yes, anything,” Kim shot back with a knowing smirk. Kim knew Hélène was gay, but she was sure Hélène didn’t know she was bisexual. Everyone assumed she was straight for a couple of reasons—the first being Greg. They’d been together for years. Second—how she presented herself with the heels and dresses, and third, because Kim didn’t discuss her sexual orientation. Not because she found it difficult, or she was hiding; it was more because she didn’t feel the need to explain herself to anyone. She was bisexual, she knew it, and she was the only person it concerned.

Kim was thoroughly enjoying this playfulness between them. She assumed Hélène was usually the confident, go get ’em kind of woman. Kim wanted to see how she fared when she was up against someone just as confident and playful. Judging by the look on Hélène’s face, she was confusing the fuck out of her. Kim smiled internally. This was going to be a lot of fun.

“Want to see something amazing?” Hélène asked. She hadn’t broken eye contact with Kim since their last exchange.

“Always,” Kim replied, not missing a beat.

Hélène rose from the floor and turned towards the large sliding doors that gave them that incredible view. “Follow me.”

Kim had no idea what Hélène was going to show her. A small part of her, well, okay, a large part of her was hoping their playfulness was going to take a turn towards something more. That thought was unsettling. She was still technically in a relationship. But for how long, she couldn’t say.

Kim stepped through the double doors and onto the terrace that wrapped around two-thirds of the penthouse suite. There was an area for grilling, two sun loungers, and a beautiful dining table. The view was outstanding. Scanning her surroundings, she noticed Hélène had walked out of sight. Kim followed the sound of Hélène’s flip-flops around to the left of the suite. To her surprise, Hélène was ascending a set of terracotta stairs.

“Keep up, you’re going to love this,” Hélène called over her shoulder.

When Kim reached the top step, she froze in place as she took in what lay before her. The stairs led up to the roof, which had been transformed into a tropical getaway consisting of a fully stocked bar, a large Jacuzzi, and a large swimming pool. Oh, and if that weren’t enough, the space was filled with beautiful plants and trees, making it into a true secret garden.

“Oh, my days,” Kim gasped. “This is just beyond stunning!”

“I knew you’d like it,” Hélène beamed.

“Like it? I want to marry it and have its babies. Jesus, I thought the suite and view were decadent. This takes the biscuit and the barrel.”

“Drink?” Hélène called. Kim hadn’t noticed her slip behind the bar. “I make a fabulous spiced rum and coke,” she said jovially.

“Hell, yes!” Kim shouted. “I’m not leaving this roof, ever.”

“Get comfy.” Hélène pointed to one of the wooden sun loungers.

Kim wasn’t one to argue with a beautiful woman who was mixing her a drink in paradise. She lay down, crossing her legs. The air on the roof was significantly warmer than in the suite and she was feeling sweaty with her fluffy robe still wrapped around her.

Tugging on the loose knot, she let the robe fall away. It took her a millisecond to shrug it from her shoulders. Although the sun was setting, she still saw a shadow cross her closed eyes. When she opened them, she saw Hélène standing over her, clearly checking out her best assets.

Kim grinned. “Is that for me?” she asked, pulling Hélène out of her ogling. Hélène at least had the decency to look mortified she’d been caught staring, which made Kim want to laugh out loud.

“Yep, for you. One rum and coke,” Hélène choked, her voice raspy.

“It’s okay to look, you know. I flaunt what I’ve got. I’m body positive,” Kim said playfully.

“Well, I’d be body positive, too, if I looked like you.”

“Doll, you’ve got plenty to flaunt,” Kim replied honestly.

“If that were the case, maybe I’d be able to keep hold of a woman.” Hélène blushed. She’d clearly said more than she’d meant to. Kim had a decision to make. She could try to push Hélène into talking or keep things light. Considering the amount of alcohol they’d both consumed, maybe it wasn’t the best time to be delving into deep feelings.

“Is there music up here?” Kim asked, hoping Hélène would go with the flow. She didn’t want the night to end with Hélène feeling low. Her plan worked. Hélène threw her a heart-stopping grin before heading back to the bar. A few moments later, soft music played through two small speakers attached to the roof of the bar. God, Kim was in heaven.

“Challenge time,” Hélène said as she walked back over to Kim.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I want you to prove you really can do anything in those heels.” Hélène was grinning widely.

“I wouldn’t even class these as heels, to be honest,” Kim smirked.

“Fancy putting your money where your mouth is?” Hélène shot back quickly.

“What are the terms of the challenge?” Kim replied just as quickly.

“You have to get through a song of my choice in the highest heels you have here. You dance without stumbling, and I will be your personal bartender on this very roof terrace for twenty-four hours straight. I win and you have to be my personal chef for twenty-four hours straight. How does that sound?”

“Honestly, not worth the challenge. If you want to make it so I can’t say no, then you need to up the reward, H.” Kim was teasing. Hélène didn’t know Kim never shied away from a challenge or dare, and she certainly didn’t turn down a way to prove how much of a boss bitch she was in heels.

“Alright, I’ll bite. What are you proposing?” Hélène was clearly intrigued.

“You win, and I’ll answer every room service request in my underwear. I win, and you streak through the lobby.”

“Naked?” Hélène squeaked with alarm.

“Not naked—in your underwear,” Kim replied calmly. She could see Hélène regretting the whole challenge idea.

“We can’t do that!”

“I thought you wanted a bit of fun and adventure?”

“Yes, but I know these people. What will they think?” Hélène replied, panicked.

“Hey, this was your challenge, not mine. I’m just trying to make it worth my while. I could slip and break something,” Kim said seriously, even though the chance of that happening was infinitesimal. She watched Hélène mulling it over.

“Okay, you’re on!”

“Wow, you’re confident,” Kim chuckled.

“I am. I can see you’re well skilled in heels, but I don’t believe for one second you can ‘do anything’ in them, especially dance to the song I have in mind.”

“Bring it on. I’ll go get my winning pair.”

Four

H élène repeatedly chastised herself as she watched Kim scurry back to her bedroom to collect her heels. What the hell had come over her? Challenging Kim to prove her heel skills was the adult equivalent of pulling her pigtails in the playground because she secretly liked her. Hélène was way beyond that type of infantile behaviour. Well, so she thought.

Everything was going swimmingly when they’d arrived in the suite. The place was just as wonderful as Hélène remembered, and she really was happy to have Kim there as company. In fact, she was really looking forward to becoming Kim’s friend.

That notion had come crashing down with a bang when Kim had come out of her room wearing the sexiest fucking glasses Hélène had ever seen. Well, maybe it wasn’t the glasses themselves, but the person wearing them. Kim was Hélène’s complete fantasy, rolled up in a fluffy robe: a sexy blonde bombshell in heeled slippers and wingtip glasses.

Hélène had wanted to make a comment, but she got the distinct impression it would’ve been a fatal error. So instead, she’d tried to swallow down her lust—because, let’s be honest, that’s exactly what it was—and hoped they could have a lovely evening in each other’s company.

Mostly, they’d had a really enjoyable night together. It had been a while since Hélène felt so comfortable around a woman. The problem was, Hélène could’ve sworn their interactions so far had been laced with flirtation, which was confusing as fuck.

Kim had a boyfriend, so even if she did slide over to Hélène’s side of the rainbow scale, it was a no-go. So why was Kim flirting? Or was she? Was Hélène seeing things that weren’t there? Possibly—actually, it was more than likely.

Hélène couldn’t spend any more time overanalysing because the sound of Kim’s heels tapping on the floor was getting closer by the second. It didn’t matter now. She’d offered up the challenge and Kim had accepted it. It was going to happen no matter what. But why, oh why, had she agreed to Kim’s terms? Hélène’s confidence she would win had taken a severe nosedive.

“Right, I’m ready,” Kim chimed, pulling Hélène out of her head. Hélène swallowed hard. Kim had replaced her slippers with the tallest heels she had ever seen. There was no way in hell Kim was going to dance along to Hélène’s chosen song in them.

“Jesus, they’re not shoes, they’re stilts,” Hélène blurted. She was getting a little worried Kim could legitimately hurt herself. “Listen, it was a stupid challenge. I don’t want you getting hurt and ruining your holiday. Seriously, let’s just forget it and have another drink.”

“Ah, I see. You’re scared,” Kim grinned.

“Not scared, just wanting to stay out of the emergency department.”

“I don’t buy it. You’re chicken. Scared you might have to give Thomas a glimpse of the goods, eh?”

Hélène’s concern was ebbing. She did not like to be called a chicken. Fine, Kim wanted to dance in her death shoes, then that’s exactly what would happen. Hélène was looking forward to Kim’s smug smile being wiped off her face.

“Okay, let’s do it, but the song I picked will not be an easy one to dance to,” Hélène warned.

“I’d be disappointed in you if it was.” Kim walked to the centre of the terrace and stood with her hands on her hips, waiting. Hélène pulled out her phone, ready to play the song.

“Ready?” Helen’s thumb hovered over the play button.

“Always,” Kim replied confidently. Hélène pressed play. The opening bars to a Disturbed song rang out through the speakers. She studied Kim’s face, gauging her reaction. To Hélène’s horror, she saw a smile cross Kim’s face in recognition.

“I love this song,” she shouted.

Hélène could not believe what she was witnessing. Kim was full-out moshing. She was holding nothing back, and to Hélène’s disbelief, it looked as if Kim wasn’t wearing shoes at all with the way she was jumping around, clearly having the best goddamn time of her life.

Hélène couldn’t move; she couldn’t speak. The sight of Kim in her silk camisole and shorts, paired with the red patent heels, was doing things to her in a very sensitive area. She could have come on the spot when Kim reached up and released her platinum blonde hair, which was now swishing around her face as she gyrated. Holy Mother of God.

The song finally ended. Kim did one last jump before taking a bow. “I believe I won,” she said triumphantly.

“I don’t believe it,” Hélène blurted. “That was the best thing I think I’ve ever seen.” Hélène wasn’t lying. That had been a stunning display of grace and style, even if Kim had been rocking out.

“Why thanks, doll!” Kim was beaming. “So, about the terms of our deal…” Hélène’s stomach dropped. Oh shit, she’d completely forgotten about that. Oh God , did Kim really expect her to streak through the lobby in her underwear?

“How about I take you out for a super delightful meal instead?” Hélène asked hopefully.

“Oh, no, no way, you agreed,” Kim said seriously.

“Kim, I wouldn’t be able to show my face here again.” Hélène was almost pleading.

“You knew the risks. Now it’s time to pay up. Come on, H…live a little.”

Live a little? Really? Hélène was no stranger to fun. She’d done a few questionable things in her youth, but she was an adult now. She needed to act like one.

“We’re too old to be doing silly things like that.”

“It was your bloody idea, and I’ll tell you something: If you’d have won, I would have taken my punishment without question.”

“Really? You’re telling me you would have honestly answered the door in your knickers and bra without questioning it?” Hélène replied, her tone a little on the mocking side.

“Absolutely. No problem,” Kim said firmly. “Tell you what, follow me.” Kim turned on her heel and walked off towards the suite downstairs.

For the second time tonight, Hélène was watching Kim walk away, leaving her feeling out of her depth. She shook herself out of her stupor and followed Kim into the suite.

Kim stood by the small table by the door. Putting the room service phone back in its cradle, Kim stood and stared at Hélène, which felt a little uncomfortable. She wasn’t sure what the hell was happening. Just as she was about to break the silence, there was a knock on the door. Kim stared directly at Hélène. She didn’t once break eye contact as she shimmied the camisole over her head to reveal a matching bra underneath. Hélène couldn’t breathe. Kim dropped the camisole, turned around in her silk shorts and bra, and opened the door wide.

“Oh, thank you so much. I just really fancied a hot chocolate.” Kim spoke sweetly to the poor young man who was beetroot red, trying desperately not to look at Kim’s boobs. Hélène felt for the guy. She was having difficulty herself.

“Hélène will tip you.” Kim took the hot chocolate, turned back around and strolled straight past Hélène, looking very smug. Hélène rushed forward, shoving a fifty euro note in the boy’s hand before shutting the door.

“Are you insane?” she cried, turning to face Kim, who was now perched on the sofa, sipping her hot chocolate.

“Nope, just not a chicken.”

What was Hélène supposed to say to that?

“This is insanity,” Hélène grumbled as she checked herself over in the mirror. How had she got herself in this mess? After Kim called her out as a coward, Hélène didn’t have much of a choice but to go through with the dare.

So here she stood, a thirty-four-year-old woman, looking up and down at herself in a mirror, deciding if the underwear she was currently wearing was suitable for a quick streak across the posh hotel lobby.

“You ready?” Kim called through her bathroom door.

“No,” she said emphatically.

“Fine, don’t do it then,” Kim said calmly.

“Oh, and have you lord it over me for all eternity? I don’t think so.”

“Stop stalling then, and let’s go.” Kim sounded far too smug for Hélène’s liking.

A myriad of curse words streamed through her mind. She couldn’t exactly stay mad at Kim for asking her to go through with something that had been entirely her idea in the first place.

Hélène looked herself dead in the eye, summoning all the courage she could find. “You are Hélène DuBois. You can do this,” she said to her reflection. Reaching for her robe, she opened the bathroom door.

“Hey, no robe, remember,” Kim shot.

“No robe in the lobby. You didn’t specify that I couldn’t wear it until I get down there.”

“Fair enough. So, ground rules: First, no robe. Second, you have to do a full circuit of the entire lobby, and third, no running.”

“No running? How’s that fair?”

“Fine, speed walking only,” Kim smirked. She was enjoying this far too much.

“Fine,” Hélène grumbled.

Hélène’s heartbeat picked up several notches as she followed Kim out of the suite. It wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for them to be seen walking around the hotel in plush robes. After all, it was also a world-class spa. What would be, and what was going to be, out of the ordinary, was a mid-thirties French woman power walking around the lobby in nothing but her delicates.

Hélène wasn’t a complete stranger to dares and challenges. She’d taken part in many skirmishes as a teenager. Few people in her adult life knew she was the daughter of the very impressive Veronique DuBois, a name that commanded respect in the world of fashion.

The downside to Hélène’s parentage was she’d grown up with a mother who demanded perfection from everyone around her, including her daughter. Hélène responded to those demands in a typical teenage way and rebelled.

From the age of sixteen, through to her late twenties, Hélène enjoyed pushing her mother’s buttons by partying and generally misbehaving. She’d never pushed it so far she truly embarrassed her. She wasn’t cruel, but she wanted her mum to understand she wasn’t one of her mother’s sheep. Hélène was her own woman.

For the most part, Veronique let Hélène get away with her roguish behaviour. That was, until she turned twenty-eight. Hélène recalled her mother swooping into Paris after being in the US for a year. Hélène had been spending a large amount of time in the company of lovely ladies, enjoying everything the DuBois name afforded her. It was after a particularly heavy weekend, Hélène had been subjected to her mother ripping off her bed covers, demanding an audience.

Veronique spent hours dressing Hélène down, pointing out Hélène was no longer a child. She was a grown woman, wasting herself on childish pursuits and loose women.

Over the years, Hélène’s rebellion had become less and less about proving she was her own woman and more about feeling lost. Hélène’s career was non-existent. She only had a job because of her brother. The women she bedded only wanted a taste of her privileged life. They wanted nothing substantial from her.

That weekend was when Hélène let go of her inner rebel and child, deciding she wanted more out of her life: a partner, a home, and a career.

The idea of embracing that side of herself again was unnerving. She’d worked hard to change. Her managerial job wasn’t her dream career, but she was happy enough. As for a partner and a home, she hadn’t been able to check those off her list just yet. God knows she’d tried, though. Could she let herself go a little without coming completely undone? Would word of her behaviour get back to her mother?

The elevator started its descent before Hélène even registered she was in it. She’d been in a world of her own. The bell signalled their arrival.

“Okay, it’s all on you now, H.” Kim’s eyes twinkled with excitement.

“I don’t think I can do this,” Hélène whispered. She felt the blood drain from her face as she pictured her mother being informed how her irresponsible daughter had been caught half naked, running around the family’s favourite hotel.

Kim must have seen Hélène’s colour fade. Wrapping a hand around Hélène’s bicep, Kim gently squeezed. “Hey, it’s okay. You really don’t have to do it, Hélène. I’m truly sorry if I’ve made you feel bad.”

“It’s not you,” Hélène whispered again. Her voice had lost all its strength.

“What is it then?”

Hélène pulled Kim to a sofa that sat next to the elevators.

“Have you heard of Veronique DuBois?” Hélène asked, averting her eyes to the floor.

“Of course, who hasn’t?” Kim replied, looking confused.

Hélène took a deep breath. “She’s my mother.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yes, okay. What about her?”

Hélène sat silent for a minute, looking at Kim. She couldn’t recall the last time a person had been so unaffected by her mother’s name. Clearing her throat, she told Kim all about their relationship and how Hélène had behaved. She explained about her mother’s harsh words and how she’d been trying to change herself to become more responsible…more of an adult. When she finished, she looked into Kim’s eyes, waiting for her reaction.

“I can understand your reticence to let yourself go,” Kim eventually said. “The thing is, Hélène, you haven’t come here to cause trouble. You’re not partying and womanising. You came to relax and enjoy yourself. Having some silly fun is all a part of that. It doesn’t mean you’re irresponsible. It means you can find a balance. Being an adult is hard. The preconception that you have to lose your childish side is bullshit.” Kim squeezed Hélène’s hand, which was pulling at a thread on her robe. “We spend our days stressed and anxious, juggling everything life throws at us. It’s not possible to take all that on and not let off a little steam. I would think you speed walking around here in your pants, is the tamest of ways to let it all go.”

Hélène felt her anxiety drain away. With just a few words, Kim calmed her. She had a way of making everything feel manageable and lighter. Hélène loved that Kim embraced her silly, fun side, even if it meant she could be a little pushy when excited about something.

“Thanks,” she said after a moment of silence. “You’re right, I know that. It’s just a difficult thing to let go of.”

Kim ducked her head to look into Hélène’s eyes. “I know, doll. Really, I get it. Look, you’re under no pressure. It really was just a silly bet.”

Hélène was momentarily transfixed. Kim’s eyes were mesmerising. With Kim’s words echoing in her head, Hélène felt a jolt of something she couldn’t name. It was a feeling that made her want to let it all go, consequences be damned.

“Fuck it. You’re buying shots after this.” In a flash, Hélène was on her feet, disrobing. Without looking back, she dropped the robe to her feet, squared her shoulders, and strode off.

The moment she stepped away from Kim, time seemed to slow down. She saw Thomas casually look up from his computer. His features turned to surprise, and maybe embarrassment, as he scanned her scantily-clad body up and down when she walked past his desk.

With a straight face, as if it were any other day, Hélène slightly turned her head and greeted him. “Good evening, Thomas.”

She continued to walk to the plush sofas at the other end of the lobby. She heard Thomas stutter a reply, which made her grin.

Now that she’d committed, she might as well do it right. She arrived at the sofa, bent down to the coffee table and picked up a magazine, flipping a few pages, feigning interest, before replacing it in its original place. All she had to do now was make her way back over to the elevators and she’d completed her dare.

On her return journey, she heard the distinct sound of the double doors swish open. Other guests had arrived. Hélène looked over and gave the couple that entered a swift nod. “Lovely evening, isn’t it?”

The couple faltered in their steps. The man, who was probably in his late fifties, blushed. His wife, or companion, did a double take before planting an elbow into the man’s ribs.

Hélène continued on her journey, stopping only once more at a floor-length mirror halfway between the entrance and the elevators. She looked herself up and down once more, before running her hands through her hair and adjusting her bust. She’d definitely chosen the right underwear. It was sexy as hell and she felt confident, beautiful, and free.

When she was satisfied she’d given enough of a show, she sauntered over to the elevators to press the call button. As the doors opened, she looked over at a stunned Kim, gave a teasing smile, and said, “You coming?” before walking into the car and leaning casually against the back wall.

“Sweet Jesus, that was incredible,” Kim blurted when she crashed into the elevator after Hélène. “You boss-bitched the hell out of that.”

“I did, didn’t I?” Hélène burst into laughter. “Did you see the look on Thomas’s face? I’m going to have to tip big after that.”

“I think what you just did was the biggest tip he’ll receive all year.” Kim laughed just as hard as Hélène.

“Oh, I hope I haven’t scarred the poor man.”

“Scarred him? You’ve got the body of a goddess. He’ll feel like the luckiest fella alive right now. He’ll probably need to take his break soon just to relieve himself.”

“That is a hideous thought.” Hélène shivered. Gross.

“Well, I certainly have a lady boner for you, so I fully understand his predicament,” Kim said seriously.

“Oh my God, who says that?”

“I only tell the truth,” Kim said, leaving Hélène to roll her eyes. “Here, put this back on before I combust.” Kim draped Hélène’s robe over her arm. Hélène felt herself blush. She knew Kim was just being playful and wasn’t being serious, but the thought she could make someone as gorgeous as Kim hot under the collar turned her on massively.

As soon as they entered the suite, Hélène headed for the bar. She wasn’t joking when she said she’d need shots.

“Tequila?” she asked Kim, who was draped over the sofa looking all kinds of sexy.

“Tequila goes straight to my knickers,” Kim said seriously.

“I beg your pardon?”

“You’ve never heard that expression before?”

“Nope. I presume it’s an English thing?”

“Probably, but it basically means that tequila leaves me horny.”

Hélène nearly choked on the shot she’d just knocked back. Kim flung her head back, laughing. “Everyone has a drink that leaves them like that. What’s yours?”

“I don’t know.” Hélène was still choking on her shot.

“Rubbish, of course you do.”

“Okay, fine, it’s rum.” Hélène poured out another shot for herself.

“We were drinking rum earlier. Does that mean you’ve had a fire raging in those delicious panties all evening?”

“Oh my God, Kim, do you not have any boundaries at all?” Hélène laughed.

“Not with my friends,” she giggled. “Sorry, am I being too much? Greg says I’m too much sometimes.”

Hélène saw Kim shrink back. She saw her bubbly, outgoing friend become smaller, her eyes dimming. Hélène’s heart clenched. Who the hell felt they could tell this vibrant woman she was “too much”? Hélène put the shot glass down and went over to Kim. She didn’t know what she was going to do, but she desperately wanted to comfort her somehow.

“You are not too much. Never think that, Kim.” Her tone was firm.

Kim gave her a half-hearted smile. “Thanks.”

“No, you listen to me.” Hélène pulled Kim so she sat flush against Hélène’s side. Hélène turned her body so she could look Kim straight in the eye. “Kim, you are a rare woman. You are smart, funny, and confident. You have the ability to make people feel included and seen. Never let anyone tell you you’re too much. It’s them that aren’t enough. Do you understand?”

Kim nodded, her smile a little brighter. “Thanks, H,” she breathed. “Do you mind me calling you that?”

“What, H?”

“Yeah.”

“Not at all. You’ll be the only one who does, though. Everyone calls me Hélène or Hels.”

“I like I get to call you by a nickname only I will use.”

“Me, too. Now, are you ready for a shot? I think we both earned one tonight,” Hélène chuckled.

“Oh, yes, make mine a double. I’m just going to grab my phone. I haven’t looked at it since we arrived.”

“That’s how it’s supposed to be on holiday, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but…” Kim started, before drifting off. Hélène then understood she was probably thinking about her boyfriend.

“Of course, you probably need to check in with your partner.” She moved, creating a bit of room between them. As much as Kim made Hélène feel all kinds of things, she couldn’t forget Kim was with someone else, although it struck her as odd that Kim had come away on her own. If Hélène were Kim’s partner, there would be no way in hell she would miss out on a week of private time with her.

Kim gave her a tight smile. “Yeah, right, need to check-in.”

Hélène watched Kim walk away, for the third time.

Five

N eeding a few minutes to herself, Kim closed the door quietly behind her. The evening had not turned out how she thought it would. Sharing laughs and drinks had been wonderful, but at some point, it’d turned into something else. She’d found the challenge funny at first. She was guaranteed to win. There’d never been a doubt. Why had she insisted the consequence for the loser required them to be in underwear? What was that about?

Walking over to the bed, she knew she had no intention of looking at her phone. She’d just said that to give herself a plausible reason to take some space. Dancing in front of Hélène had felt sensual. The music might have been a heavy rock song, but it didn’t change the fact she’d felt Hélène’s gaze on her the whole time, and she’d liked it a lot.

Dropping her head in her hands, she blew out a frustrated breath. The purpose of this vacation was not supposed to be getting all hot and bothered over a friend. She was supposed to be taking the time to decide if she wanted to stay with Greg.

Maybe her behaviour around Hélène was telling her a lot about her state of mind regarding her relationship with her boyfriend. Surely, if she were still committed to Greg, she wouldn’t be entertaining the idea of jumping Hélène. Because, in truth, that’s exactly what she wanted to do.

Certainly, the alcohol she’d consumed played a big part in her feeling this way. Plus, Hélène saving her from a ruined holiday was also a factor. Nevertheless, it didn’t change the fact she wanted to see more of Hélène, with even less clothing, than she already had.

The ping of her phone drew her attention. Her screen showed multiple notifications.

God, can’t I just have some fucking peace?

Ten messages and fifteen calls, all from Greg, made her anger sizzle. He was unbelievable. How many goddamn times did she need to tell him she needed space? The phone rang twice before Greg answered.

“Kim, where the hell are you?” he demanded. Kim’s anger almost erupted, but she quashed it before she said something she’d regret.

“I’m on holiday,” she replied calmly.

“What the fuck does that mean?” he barked.

“It’s not rocket science, Greg, I’m. On. Holiday.”

“Where?”

“Saint-Tropez?” No reason to lie to him.

“Saint-Tropez? How the hell have you afforded that?”

“If you must know, Anna couldn’t go on her holiday, so she gave it to me.”

“Oh, right, fine.” His voice came down a few notches.

“What do you want, Greg?” Kim sighed.

“I want you to come home. I understand I upset you, and I understand it’s hard for you when I can’t be around, but I think this is a bit drastic.”

Kim shook her head in defeat. He just wasn’t getting it at all.

“Greg, listen and listen carefully. I’m not some bored little housewife who sits around pining for my man. I have my own life away from you, as you do from me, and that’s great. It’s healthy. What’s not healthy is that you’ve checked out on being an equal partner in this relationship.”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Yes, Greg, you have. You treat me like your little woman.”

“Hey, that’s not fair,” he shot.

“Isn’t it? You’ve started questioning why I haven’t got your dinner on the table for when you get home, for Christ’s sake.”

“I’d do it for you!”

“That’s bullshit. As soon as you know I’ll be home late, you schedule drinks with your bloody boss.”

“I don’t see why I should wait around. Not when I have meetings I can attend. I’m a busy man.”

“Even on my birthday?” she snapped. The line went silent. He couldn’t talk his way out of that. “You’ve also started volunteering me to organise dinner parties for your work. Since when have I ever wanted to do that? Never, Greg. You’ve been trying to anchor me to the goddamn kitchen for months…and I don’t get it?”

“Forgive me for thinking you might enjoy being a lady of leisure. Plenty of other wives do that. All my colleagues’ wives are stay-at-home mothers.”

Kim shook her head furiously. “First, I am not your wife. Second, who the hell do you think you are making that kind of decision for me? You know me much better than that. You’re trying to railroad me into something you know I fucking detest. Don’t let my dresses and heels fool you, Greg. I am one hundred percent my own woman and will never be anyone’s property. Regardless of what I look like, I’m not a ’50s housewife. I never will be,” she hissed.

“Alright, so I went a little overboard. I just wanted to provide for you.”

“NO! You wanted to match up to your slimy colleagues and bosses. I never thought you’d become that guy, Greg. Never.”

“I’m sorry, Kim. Please come home. Let’s work it out,” he pleaded.

“No, I’m on a well-deserved holiday. One which I intend to enjoy.”

“Maybe I could come down to you then for a weekend? That would be nice, right?”

“Oh, now you want to join me?” she shouted.

“Yes, I do, really. I was wrong to cancel on you. I want to make time for you and us. Come on, Kim, we’ve been together for ages. Surely, that deserves a second chance?”

“Let me think about it,” she sighed. Yes, she was furious with him, but he had a point. They’d been a couple for years and it had been a good relationship on the whole. Maybe they could work on it.

“Great, just let me know and I’ll be there,” he said enthusiastically.

“Fine, I’m going now. Good night.”

“Night, Kim. I love you.”

“Yeah, me too.” Her voice lacked conviction.

The phone line went dead and Kim felt numb. All the pleasant feelings she’d felt mere minutes ago had evaporated. She felt stuck. If she were being honest, she didn’t want Greg in Saint-Tropez, but that could change after a few more days, once she’d calmed down.

Feeling the weight of the day, Kim dropped her phone on the bedside table and crawled onto the bed. The only thing she needed now was sleep. Maybe tomorrow would come with some much-needed answers.

The sound of the ceiling fan brought Kim out of a fitful night’s sleep. Her eyes fluttered open slowly. She was momentarily confused by her surroundings. Sitting up, she propped herself against the headboard, her head pounding. She couldn’t be sure if it was the alcohol, conversation with Greg, or her overwhelming feelings of attraction towards Hélène that made her feel as if she were having a hole bored into her skull.

Hélène. Jesus, she’d just left her sitting in the living room last night, probably expecting Kim to return for another drink. “I’m the worst.”

The first thing she had to do was drink a pint or two of water along with swallowing some painkillers. The second, and the most important, was to apologise to Hélène. Kim had to get a grip on herself. It wasn’t fair to mistreat Hélène because she was going through some personal crap.

After a quick shower to freshen up, she dressed in one of her bathing suits that paired with a sheer wraparound. Oh, she also couldn’t forget her trusty heeled sandals. No need to look bad whilst grovelling.

Heading into the living room, she saw no sign of Hélène; however, the smell of coffee permeated the air. Maybe she was in the kitchen? Nope, not there. Kim wondered if Hélène had already gone out. After all, they hadn’t said they would spend any time together, just that Kim could stay in a spare room. The thought made Kim’s stomach tighten and not in a good way. Had she already ruined a chance at friendship with Hélène?

After pouring herself a large cup of coffee, she headed to the balcony, the doors already open. The bright blue of the Mediterranean engulfed Kim’s vision. Wow, it was breathtaking.

“Gorgeous, isn’t it?”

Kim almost launched her coffee mug over the balcony railing. “Jesus Christ,” she blurted. She’d not seen Hélène lounging on one of the many chairs on the terrace. “You almost gave me a heart attack,” she gasped, clutching her chest.

“Sorry,” Hélène chuckled, not looking in the least bit sorry at all.

“No, it’s fine.” After a few moments of deep breathing, she looked down at Hélène. Her breath hitched. Hélène was in the smallest bikini Kim had ever seen. Her toned body was already turning a delicious tanned brown. Her skin looked so soft, Kim had to mentally slap herself to stop from reaching out and caressing the beautiful body laid out so tantalisingly close.

“Listen, I owe you a huge apology,” Kim said after clearing her throat, which had suddenly dried up like the Sahara.

“Apology? What for?” Hélène looked genuinely confused.

“Well, for a start, buggering off and leaving you sitting in the living room last night.”

“I figured you just crashed out. It was a long day and we drank a lot,” she grinned.

“True, but no, I mean, yes, I crashed out, but it wasn’t that. I had a phone call with Greg and it drained me.” Kim wasn’t able to look at Hélène.

“Oh, is everything okay?”

“Honestly, no,” Kim sighed. “The reason I came on holiday is because I needed a break from him. From us.”

“I’m sorry. Do you want to talk about it?” Hélène sat up, sliding her sunglasses into her beautiful, shiny, soft hair.

Get a grip .

“You didn’t come on holiday to listen to my personal issues.”

“How about you let me decide what I came on holiday for? I wouldn’t have offered to listen if I didn’t want to,” Hélène said gently. “Tell you what, I’ll make you a deal.”

“Ha, you sure that’s a good idea?” Kim remarked.

“Yes, indeed,” Hélène laughed. “The deal is, you use me as a sounding board, and in return, I’ll use you. I came here after some messy personal stuff, too.”

Kim mulled it over. “Yeah, okay, that sounds fair.”

Hélène nodded and patted the seat next to her. Kim sat down, nursing her coffee. She wasn’t sure where to start. Well, from the beginning would be the best place, but when was that? When had she first noticed a change in Greg?

After a breath, Kim launched into her personal misery. Hélène sat, listening closely.

“So now he wants to come down here for the weekend and sort it all out,” Kim finished.

“How do you feel about that?”

“Right now, it’s the last thing I want. I was really serious about needing some time and space. I think I’ve lost a part of myself and I want to get it back.”

“So tell him.”

“I have, several times, but he just isn’t hearing me.”

“So tell him again until it sinks in.”

Kim sighed. “You’re right. Surely, he should understand it’s better for me to take some time to myself now. It’s better in the long run, right?”

“I can’t answer that for you, Kim, but if that’s how you’re feeling, then you should run with it.”

“Thanks, H.” Kim’s head and heart felt better unloading her thoughts and feelings that had been percolating inside for far too long. “Now, your turn.” Adding a little levity, she shoulder bumped Hélène.

“Right, I don’t think it’s as much as you’re going through. It’s just me feeling sorry for myself, really.”

“Don’t dismiss your problems, doll.”

“I just got sick and tired of failing with women,” Hélène said shyly.

“What do you mean?” There was no way someone as great as Hélène couldn’t get a woman. No way.

“I mean, I’m cursed,” Hélène said plainly. Kim didn’t know what to say to that, so instead, she stayed silent, waiting for her to continue. “Everyone I meet leaves me. Not because of me. But for one reason or another, they leave. I’d just been left again before I decided I needed to get away.”

“Were any of them serious?”

“No, not really. We never seem to get far enough into a relationship before they leave,” Hélène sighed.

Kim scooched a little closer until she was shoulder-to-shoulder with Hélène.

“You know what that tells me?” Kim gently bumped Hélène again, who shook her head. “That tells me you just haven’t met ‘the one’. Because you, Hélène,” Kim said, pointing at her, “are one hell of a catch, and I’m positive the universe will send you that one woman who sees how fantastic you are and will not leave. She’ll be your happily ever after.”

“Maybe, but for now, I just want to focus on this wonderful holiday,” Hélène replied truthfully. She’d had enough of overthinking and moping. “How about we spend today on the terrace by the pool, sipping cocktails, and tomorrow we take advantage of those free spa treatments you were given? Perhaps tomorrow evening we could go for a nice meal in Saint-Tropez. There are some wonderful places I know you’ll love.”

How could anyone say no to an offer like that? The past twenty-four hours had been pretty manic, and even though they’d indulged in a few drinks last night, neither of them had had the time to really relax and enjoy their time at The Sapphire.

“That is exactly what we should do.” After all, they were in no hurry. They could get to their personal baggage later on.

Kim couldn’t remember having a more relaxing day. True to Hélène’s word, they’d spent the day lazing by the pool, sipping delicious cocktails Hélène had cooked up. Kim was certain Hélène must have had training as a mixologist. So far, her favourite had been Hélène’s piña colada. But that was probably because she would always be biased towards the coconut-y goodness.

“Shit,” Kim mumbled. She could feel a patch on her shoulder burn. Kim wasn’t someone who could indulge in the sun for too long. Her naturally pale skin burnt quickly. Anyone would think she would’ve learnt how to properly cover herself in sunscreen, but alas, she’d once again missed a spot and was going to pay for it if she didn’t get under some shade.

“You okay?” Hélène replied lazily. She’d obviously been dozing.

“Yeah, just missed my bloody shoulder and now I can feel it burning,” Kim said, pissed at herself.

“Let me see.” Hélène sat up, beckoning Kim to show her. Kim turned her shoulder. She could see by Hélène’s reaction that she had definitely burned.

“Oui , you got caught. Hang on, I have some magic cream that will sort you out.” Hélène skipped off towards the stairs, leaving Kim to watch her very firm arse in those tiny bikini bottoms.

Christ, I think she just gave me sunstroke, too.

Moments later, Hélène came bounding up the stairs, taking them two at a time, something Kim appreciated, especially when the momentum made Hélène’s breasts bounce.

My God, I’m such a creep!

“Here, let me put this on you. I promise you’ll feel better in no time.” Hélène was completely unaware of Kim’s less-than-friendly thoughts running through her mind.

“Thanks.” Kim cleared her throat. Hélène must have been a miracle worker because the moment the cream soaked into her skin, Kim felt the sore tightness disappear.

“What the hell is that stuff? And where has it been all my life?” Kim chuckled.

“It’s wonderful, isn’t it? I often burn myself in the kitchen, so I carry some around with me everywhere. Just let me know if you need it again.”

“It sounds like you spend a lot of time cooking?” Kim wanted to know everything about her new friend.

“Oh, yes, I adore cooking. It’s soothing.” Hélène’s passion for it was visibly shining through her eyes as she spoke. “I love trying to put my spin on traditional recipes.”

“I’d love to try something sometime. I’m okay at cooking, but it’s not something that comes naturally.” Kim hoped she wasn’t coming across as pushy again.

“I will cook for you anytime.” They sat looking into each other’s eyes, something stirring in the air between them.

“Awesome. I can be your guinea pig.”

“Deal.” Hélène held out her hand to shake on it. Kim looked from Hélène’s face to her extended hand. She couldn’t help but laugh.

“We seem to make a lot of deals,” she said, grinning.

“You’re fun to deal with.” Hélène wore an equally brilliant grin. Kim sucked in a quiet breath. Was Hélène flirting again?

“Right back at ya, doll,” Kim winked, hoping to inject some levity into the conversation. It worked. Hélène threw her head back and laughed before sliding back down on the sun lounger.

Dusk fell. The colours from the disappearing sun were phenomenal. Kim had never seen anything like them. After they were both showered, they sat at the large table overlooking the sea. The food they ordered from room service was delicious, and the wine Hélène chose paired wonderfully.

“You’ve had some training, I think,” Kim said after she’d taken a sip of her red wine.

“What do you mean?” Hélène replied between bites of the lamb tagine they’d ordered.

“I mean, you can mix a cocktail like a pro, you have excellent taste in food, and you know how to pair it with the perfect wine. That makes me think you’ve had some training or experience in the culinary world.”

“Ah, you caught me,” Hélène laughed. She put her cutlery down and gently dabbed her mouth with her napkin. “I spent a lot of my childhood touring with my mother. It wasn’t something I enjoyed, and most of the time I got in the way. After a while, my mother would send me away to entertain myself and I would always end up in the kitchens of any hotel or resort we were staying at. I got to know a lot of chefs—some famous, some not. I spent my time shadowing them and learning.”

“She sent you away?” Kim couldn’t imagine ever wanting to offload her child to a stranger. “How old were you?” She didn’t know why, but she felt anger bubbling up.

“Too young, but that’s the way it was. Can’t change it now and besides, I really enjoyed my time learning how to cook.”

“Well, now I really can’t wait to try your food.”

“What about you? Where did you learn to cook?” Hélène asked, tucking back into her food.

“Not sure, really. My mum is an excellent cook, but I didn’t spend any time in the kitchen with her. I think I just picked things up as I went.”

“Are you close to your parents?”

“Absolutely! They still live in the UK. My mum, Joy, is a Doctor of Applied Physics. She works at the University of London. Although, she’s pretty much retired now and only takes on a few classes. My dad, Peter, is a Doctor of Engineering. He stopped working about five years ago after he had a minor heart attack. They both seem happy now they’ve got more time together.”

“Putain , Kim, they sound impressive.”

“Oh, they are, but you’d never guess it if you looked at them. Picture me, but twenty years older, and that’s my mum. You can imagine her students’ faces when they meet her for the first time.” Kim laughed.

“I bet her classroom is full to burst. If I’d had a teacher that looked like you, I would’ve turned up every damn time for class,” Hélène laughed.

Kim felt her cheeks colour. Did Hélène just imply she was hot?

“Well, thanks, I’ll let my mum know you think she’s a hottie.”

“Please do,” Hélène winked. “So, I take it you didn’t want to go down the academic route?”

“What makes you think I didn’t?” Kim was used to people thinking she wasn’t academically minded. Unfortunately, people still judged on looks, and hers didn’t scream “academia”.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to presume, it’s just that with you working with Anna…”

“I get it. I have an MSc in Biology. I considered going for my PhD, but life just took a different turn.”

“In what way?”

“Greg, to be blunt. He’d waited around whilst I finished my degree, working for a bank in central London. He got offered an excellent position in Paris, which was too good to turn down, and to be honest, I was excited at the idea of living abroad. I always thought I could go back to uni at some point.”

“Do you still want to?”

“Honestly, I haven’t thought about it for a long time. We came to Paris, and I started working for Anna. I love my job and I love living in Paris.”

“It is a wonderful city,” Hélène nodded.

“What about you? Did you always want to work at JHS Photography ?”

“God, no, but right now it will do.”

“What do you want to do, then?”

“Do you really want to know?” Hélène almost looked shy, which Kim found intriguing.

“Of course I do.”

“I want to open up my own diving centre somewhere tropical.”

“Diving, as in scuba diving, as in underwater?” Kim spluttered.

“Oui absolument .”

“Wow, that’s…that’s amazing, Hélène. What an adventure that would be.”

“You really think so?”

“Oh, God yes. I’d love to learn. I always wanted to, but as I said, life took me in a different direction.”

“I could teach you!”

Kim studied her face for a second. Was she being serious? Kim had always wanted to scuba dive, especially after she’d taken some extra classes in Marine Biology at university.

“Really?”

“Yes, really. I’m actually diving after I leave here.” Hélène shuffled in her seat. “You could join me if you wanted. I know you were supposed to be here for a couple of weeks, which got ruined. You could come with me and continue your holiday. I have a boat for a few weeks.”

“Oh, wow. That’s really generous, Hélène. Can I think about it?”

“Of course, no pressure.”

The idea of spending extra time with Hélène was enticing, especially if it was on a boat, far away from everyone. They could really get to know each other that way… Just as friends, obviously.

Six

“W as I ever dropped on my head as a child?” Hélène barked down the phone.

“Erm…what?” A groggy voice on the other end of the line spluttered.

“You know, dropped, leading to some sort of brain damage.”

“It’s four in the morning, Hélène, are you having a genuine emergency, like have you actually hurt your head?”

“No, I’m not hurt. I think I’m just suffering the aftereffects of a childhood trauma because that’s the only logical reason to explain my behaviour right now.”

“Okay, back up. Try to catch me up because I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about, and you have never called me this early to have a meltdown.”

“JJ, I think I’m in trouble, as in ‘woman’ trouble,” she exhaled harshly.

There was zero point in Hélène denying she was smitten with Kim, a woman she’d known only “casually” as of three days ago. Three days was all it had taken, though. Hélène had come away to find herself and regroup, but instead, she’d smacked straight into a woman that was now invading her thoughts and dreams entirely.

“I didn’t know you went away with someone?” JJ replied, still sounding utterly confused and half asleep.

“I didn’t. I turned up at the hotel to find a woman I know through a friend, sat crying on the sofa. Long story short, her booking got screwed up, so I offered her a bedroom and now I have invited her to spend time on Connie with me.”

“You invited a woman to sail around the Mediterranean on Connie and you barely know her? Am I getting this right?”

“In a nutshell, yes. We have been spending a lot of time together and she is wonderful, fun, adventurous, oh, and straight, with a long-term boyfriend,” Hélène quipped. She was staggered by her own stupidity.

“I thought you’d already gone through the ‘fall in love with a straight woman’ phase. Isn’t that like the first thing lesbians do, sort of like an initiation?” JJ chuckled at his own joke.

“Yes, I have already done that. Thanks for reminding me, but I just get this feeling with her. I think she’s been flirting, but I also think I could be so desperate my brain is making it up.”

“Just ask her,” JJ said, as if it were the simplest thing on the planet.

“Have you lost your mind?” Hélène barked, jumping at the level her own voice had reached. She quickly shot a look at her bedroom door, listening to see if she’d disturbed Kim, who was sleeping across the hall.

“You’re the one who thinks you’ve lost your mind, Hélène. It’s only difficult if you make it that way. Just be honest with her and see where she’s at. If you’ve got it wrong, apologise and move on. You’re both adults; it’s not high school. Talk to her, and then you can stop freaking out and enjoy your holiday.”

Hélène didn’t know quite what to say. She wasn’t by any means lacking in experience with women, but lately, her confidence had taken a bit of a battering. This was probably the first time in a decade she’d rung her big brother for advice. Normally, she was more than capable of sorting out her love life. Well, maybe not, if recent events were anything to go by.

“I don’t know, JJ. I think we could become really good friends, and I do not want to ruin that by saying something. I think my last breakup has affected me more than I realised—the final straw, almost. I just want to settle down with a woman who loves me and who I love in return. Is that so much to ask?”

“You will, Hélène, but maybe you need to stop looking so hard. The right one will come along and be everything you want and more, I’m sure of it.” Hélène felt a pang of guilt course through her. Here she was, moaning about a lack of love life, when John had lost the love of his life forever.

“Merde , désolée, JJ, I’m an insensitive ass.”

“No, you’re not, and Claire would be furious to hear you speaking of yourself like that. I had a wonderful marriage to the love of my life. It’s painful she’s gone, but, my God, I wouldn’t change a second of it. You have every right to want that too, so don’t apologise. I’m your big brother. I want you to come to me when you need a shoulder, compris ?”

“Oui, merci grand frère.”

“So, what you gonna do?”

“Nothing. Just take some time to sort my head out and enjoy my time away with my friend.”

“And that’s all you want to do?”

“Yeah, it’s not right for me to say anything. Kim’s going through a rough patch with her boyfriend, and I would be out of line to add any more drama to her life.” She would do the right thing and support her friend, talk, and comfort, nothing more. They both had a lot going on in their lives, and Hélène knew she’d rather have Kim as a friend than not at all. “Sorry for waking you.”

“No worries, I was going to have an early start, anyway. I’ll let you know when I can join you on Connie . I could do with a break, too,” JJ sighed.

“You work too hard, JJ. Claire wouldn’t want you to burn out. You never stop.”

John Spencer was a hard worker. She knew that, and she knew that he loved what he did, but it didn’t stop her worrying about her brother, the man who had lost so much and had never really stopped to grieve.

“You’re right. I’ve been thinking lately I need to slow down a little. There will always be more work, but I feel like I’m missing out on life.”

“Are you okay?” Hélène wasn’t used to hearing JJ talk like this. He was always so focused on work; always ready to move on to bigger and better opportunities.

“Yeah, I’m okay. The anniversary is coming up in a couple of weeks and I guess it’s got me thinking.”

“Thinking what?” She wanted to be there for him as much as she could. He was her rock, and she knew she could be that for him, too.

“Thinking Claire would be angry with me for throwing everything I have into work. She constantly told me she wanted me to move on, find someone else, start a family. I promised I would, but after she’d died, the thought made me sick. How could I let anyone in after her? She was perfect.”

“And now?”

“Now, I think I’m letting her down,” he croaked.

“You could never let her down, John, but I think if you’re ready for something new, then you should go for it. You have more money than God. There is no reason you can’t step back and evaluate your life. Find out what comes next.” She hoped she was saying the right things.

“You’re a wise woman, sis,” JJ chuckled.

“Hmmm, try telling that to the ladies,” she laughed. There was a moment of silence.

“Did you know Claire froze her eggs?”

“You British are so odd. Why would you put eggs in the freezer?” she quipped.

“You’re hilarious,” he deadpanned. “Seriously, she froze them. They’re still in cold storage.”

“Okay?” Hélène was unsure of where this was going.

“Would you think I’m insane if I told you I wanted to have a baby?” His voice was laced with nerves. Hélène had to take a moment to process what he’d just said.

“You want to use Claire’s eggs and make a baby?”

“Erm…yeah. We always wanted kids, and it was me that put it off. Too fucking busy building The Spencer Empire. By the time we were in a position I thought we could try, Claire got sick.”

“Do you want to be a dad? I mean really want it? Having Claire’s baby won’t bring her back.”

She didn’t want to piss on his cornflakes, but she wanted to make sure her brother wasn’t just reacting out of sadness, especially with the anniversary of Claire’s passing just round the corner.

“Yeah, I do. For the longest time, I couldn’t imagine living in a world without her. It took me a long time and a lot of therapy to deal with everything. I’m finally in a position where I want to move on. Claire will be with me forever and I want nothing more than to fulfil our dream of having a baby together. That doesn’t mean that I’m stuck in the past. I know she’s gone, but I also know the world would be so much better with some of Claire still in it. I can do that. I can offer the world that gift, and I think I could be a wonderful dad.”

Hélène had to suck in a breath to stop her emotions from spilling out. “You would be the best dad and I would be a fucking fantastic aunt,” she laughed.

“No doubt about that,” JJ chuckled.

“Will you tell Dad?” John’s relationship with their father was as tense and distant as her own.

“No need. It has nothing to do with him.” John’s tone was sharp, and Hélène knew that was the end of that conversation.

“So, when will you do it?”

“I’ve already set up an appointment with my lawyers and a fertility agency, just to get the ball rolling.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah,” he sighed.

“This has been a really intense discussion,” Hélène snickered.

“What do you mean? It’s completely normal to delve into super personal and painful shit at 4 a.m.,” he laughed.

“I’m proud of you, J, so very proud.”

“Right back at you, Hélène. Keep your chin up, okay? You will find your person. I’m positive of it.”

“Funny, that’s what Kim said.”

“Sounds like a wise woman, too.”

“Yeah, I think she is,” Hélène sighed.

By the time Kim ventured into the suite’s living room at half nine, Hélène had already swum fifty lengths, showered, and eaten a healthy breakfast. The phone call with JJ had helped her clarify some things.

First, she was so proud of her brother after everything he had gone through. She was so proud of the man he’d become despite his poor parental role model. She knew he was going to be the best dad any child could have. Second, she was going to cool her jets with Kim.

After hours of thinking and dissecting her feelings, she was sure the only thing that would come of it would be pain and heartache. Hélène’s inability to keep a woman was depressing, and she certainly didn’t feel like adding another name to her growing list of rejections.

Kim was a wonderful person. Anyone with eyes and a brain could garner that from just a few minutes with the firecracker. So, to that end, Hélène was going to be happy with the fact they would be friends.

Hélène still hoped Kim would take her up on her offer to teach her how to scuba dive. No need for Kim to miss out on the chance to fulfil one of her dreams. Maybe after their day in Saint-Tropez, Hélène would broach the subject again.

They only had another three days until their holiday together would end and she wanted to get an answer sooner rather than later because arrangements would need to be made.

Pulling out a pad, she started jotting down a list of people she would need to talk to, mainly the boat crew, who would need to prepare another suite. The chef too, just in case Kim had any food allergies or requirements.

“Are you working?” Kim asked as she waltzed into the living room.

Today’s outfit was in the form of short dungarees made of light linen. She sported a tight, ribbed tank top underneath and high wedge sandals. As usual, her hair was in a tight ponytail, but today, she had a bandana wrapped around it. She reminded Kim of the “We Can Do It” Rosie the Riveter poster

“Not working, just noting some things down so I don’t forget.” No point telling Kim what she was actually writing until she knew Kim would come along for the ride.

“Okay,” Kim chirped. “I’m going to have a coffee. Is that okay? Do we have time? You haven’t actually given me any details of our day.”

Hélène’s heart momentarily betrayed her as she looked into Kim’s delicious eyes. “Take all the time you need. I thought we could skip the spa and just head into town. I think you will enjoy it far more than a mud mask,” Hélène chuckled.

“You would be right about that,” Kim nodded in agreement. “Is it sad that I’m really quite excited?” She looked a little embarrassed at her confession, which Hélène found curious.

“Not at all. That’s what exploring is all about!” Hélène said quickly. “I want you to enjoy everything.”

“You’re too good to me.” Kim winked, and Hélène’s heart skipped a beat. “Do you want a cup?” Kim held up the coffeepot questioningly.

“No, I’m already on my fourth.” She was certain if she had any more caffeine, she would start vibrating.

“Fourth?” Kim barked. “What the hell time did you get up?”

“Oh, er, around four,” Hélène mumbled.

“Four? Really?”

“Yes, I couldn’t sleep, so I called my brother.”

“I bet he really appreciated that.”

“Not at first,” Hélène grinned, “but actually we ended up having a great chat.”

“Ooooh, do tell.” Kim slid onto the sofa next to Hélène. “Shit, sorry, that was really rude. You don’t have to tell me at all!” Kim quickly interjected before Hélène could speak.

“No, it’s fine. He’s going to be a dad.” Hearing it out loud sent a rush of affection through her body.

“Congratulations,” Kim squealed in delight, before putting her mug down carelessly on the coffee table and then pulling Hélène into a tight hug. “I bet he and his partner are so happy,” she said into Hélène’s hair. Hélène now had the arduous task of explaining JJ’s loss.

“Actually, he is a widower.” Kim slowly retracted herself from the hug and looked at Hélène quizzically.

“Erm, okay, so…” Kim trailed off, waiting for Hélène to fill in the blanks.

“JJ, that’s my brother, lost his wife a few years ago. They’d had Claire’s eggs frozen. It seems he’s now at a point where he wants to make their dream a reality.”

“Wow, that’s beautiful and heartbreaking all at the same time,” Kim breathed.

“It is, but I’m just so happy he’s ready to move forward. Claire’s death shocked us all, but for JJ, it was like having half of his heart carved out. They were soulmates.”

“Oh, Hélène.” Kim shuffled forward to take Hélène in her arms again. Hélène relished the embrace. The feel of Kim holding her was like nothing she’d ever felt before.

“You must be excited to be an aunt?” Kim sat back, picking up her coffee cup again. Hélène missed the contact immediately.

“Oh, God, I’m going to spoil that kid rotten,” she laughed.

“I can well imagine it. Do you want kids?” Kim’s eyes widened. “Oh, shit, I did it again, didn’t I? I don’t know what’s wrong with me, asking you all these personal questions.”

“Relax, it’s fine. If I didn’t want to answer, I wouldn’t. And yes, I would like a child. I wouldn’t want to do it alone, though. But as I told you before, I have serious problems in the romance department, so I can’t see children happening anytime soon.”

“Oh, stop.” Kim playfully swatted Hélène’s arm. “You will be with the woman of your dreams and have beautiful babies.”

“What about you?” Two can play this game.

“Oh, yes, I would love children—two, max, I think. I would love to travel with my kids—show them the world.” Kim peered off into the distance, a dreamy look in her eye.

“Does Greg want kids?” Hélène knew that was a risky question, but she just couldn’t help herself.

“He was always on the fence. He never committed one way or the other, which I saw as a bad sign. I mean, to bring a life into this world needs to be a decision that you’re one thousand percent sure on. There can’t be any half-measures, right?”

“I’m in complete agreement.” Hélène couldn’t help relating the conversation back to her own parents. Phillipe and Veronique were not good paternal and maternal role models. They definitely should have had a conversation about kids before jumping in the sack.

“You okay?” Kim’s voice was low and soft.

“Better than okay,” Hélène chirped. She wouldn’t let her time with Kim be spoilt, not after the rocky start they’d already had. “Are you ready to do some exploring?”

Kim’s face erupted in childish joy at the mention of their outing. “Yes, totally, am I dressed okay?”

“You look wonderful.”

“Great.” Kim was beaming.

“I’ll call Henry and have him pull the car round.” Hélène got up and walked to the phone by the door. She stopped when she heard Kim giggling to herself. “What are you laughing at?” Kim had an adorable giggle.

“I just remembered it’s going to be the first time since you took a stroll around the lobby in your undies that we will see Thomas.”

Hélène felt the heat climbing up her neck. God, she’d completely forgotten about that. How the hell was she supposed to face him now?

“Stop panicking, I can see your brain melting from here,” Kim laughed.

“Easy for you to say. Thomas didn’t see you in sexy lingerie, did he?” she shot back playfully.

“True, but let’s be honest, you looked so hot, you have zero things to be embarrassed about. If anything, Thomas will be the embarrassed one. I think he had to remain seated for a while after he saw you, if you catch my drift.”

Hélène didn’t understand what Kim was saying. Her face must have given her away, because Kim sauntered over and whispered in her ear.

“I think he was standing at attention for a long time.”

Hélène suddenly registered what Kim meant, and the heat she had felt before came rushing over her like molten lava. “Oh, merde , that’s a horrible image you’ve just put in my head.” Hélène shivered, which made Kim throw her head back in laughter.

“You’re too easy to wind up. Stop fretting, doll. He won’t make a big deal out of it, so just go on as normal.” Kim patted Hélène’s arm.

“Fine,” Hélène grumbled.

“Let’s go,” Kim laughed, grabbing Hélène by the wrist and heading out the door, giving Hélène only a split second to grab her purse and shades.

After a day crammed with exploring, Hélène and Kim finally sat down to have dinner. The restaurant Hélène picked was one of her favourites. She often came here with JJ when they had the chance.

“This is wonderful.” Kim gazed around the space, her eyes alight with wonder. Hélène looked at their surroundings and tried to see it from Kim’s point of view.

They were seated in the patio area. A beautiful wooden gazebo covered the entire space, with vines creeping up the posts. There was a wonderful stone water fountain that bubbled quietly in the corner. The tables were donned with white cloth and bright silver cutlery. There was no mistaking it was a high-end eatery.

The best part—in Hélène’s opinion—was the lighting. Along the gazebo, hidden beneath the vines, were soft, glowing lights. Candles shone delicately from every table. Even the perfectly pruned trees had soft lights hanging from their boughs.

“It’s my favourite place to eat in all of Saint-Tropez.” Hélène cast her eyes back to Kim.

“I feel underdressed,” Kim muttered. Hélène could understand Kim’s worry. The restaurant wasn’t exactly casual.

“You look wonderful, don’t worry.” Just as Kim was about to respond, a man stopped at the table.

“Hélène, my darling, how the hell are you?” he barked, making Kim jump. Hélène gave a little laugh at the jolly man she loved and knew so well.

“Christophe,” she said, rising to give him a hug and kiss. “I’m very well.”

“And who is this?” He’d turned his attention to Kim. Hélène saw the sparkle in his eye. Not surprising, considering how beautiful Kim was.

“This is Kim.”

“Enchanté .” He pulled Kim’s hand close to his lips.

“Nice to meet you, too.” Kim smiled, but it wasn’t one of her genuine smiles. Christophe was laying it on a bit thick, in Hélène’s opinion. Hopefully, Kim wasn’t feeling too uncomfortable.

“You are a rare beauty, my dear.”

Hélène could feel her eyes roll. Christophe was the owner of the restaurant.

“Thank you, that’s very kind,” Kim said graciously. Christophe dropped her hand and turned back to Hélène.

“Everything is on the house, darling.”

“That’s unnecessary, Christophe,” Hélène objected.

“Hush, it’s done.” He turned back to Kim. “After your dinner, I would love to buy you a drink, Kim.”

Hélène watched in anticipation. It wasn’t the first time Christophe had asked out one of Hélène’s companions. She saw Kim’s perfectly sculpted eyebrow rise and a smirk form on her beautiful red lips.

“Sorry, Chris, old chap, you’re barking up the wrong tree,” Kim said sweetly. Hélène couldn’t stop herself from sniggering. Christophe’s face was a picture worth savouring. He wasn’t used to being rejected in such an obvious way. After a beat, she saw him square his shoulders.

“Are you sure, my dear? I have a wonderful bottle of Champagne chilling behind the bar.”

Hélène had to give him kudos for trying again after that spectacular brush-off. She looked over at Kim, who rose from her seat. Oh, God, was she going to throw water in his face?

“I’m sure it’s a delightful bottle. Maybe we could buy it off you?” Kim rounded the little table and stood next to Hélène. Before Hélène could register what was happening, she felt Kim’s arm snake around her waist.

“What do you think, lover? A bottle of Champagne in the hot tub tonight?” she cooed in Hélène’s ear, pinching her arse for the full effect. Hélène felt Kim’s touch in every fibre of her being. Her voice had left her and all she could do was stare at Christophe, who looked just as equally stunned. He was the first one to pull himself together.

“I apologise, Kim, and of course, you may have the Champagne. I can’t think of anyone better to have it than Hélène and yourself.”

“Appreciated,” Kim replied, landing a kiss on Hélène’s cheek, which jolted her out of her shock.

“Erm…yes, thank you, Christophe,” Hélène stuttered.

“I shall bid you farewell, Hélène. I hope to see you again soon. You too, Kim. You are an adorable couple.” He bowed his head and left. Hélène felt Kim’s arm leave her body.

“Sorry about the groping. I just couldn’t think of a way to get him to back off. He seems like the type of man that doesn’t give up.”

“Yes… Indeed.” Hélène’s mind was still scrambled.

“Sorry, I made you uncomfortable, didn’t I?” Kim said with a frown.

Truthfully, Hélène was far from uncomfortable. Her body was still revelling in Kim’s touch. She was on fire, and it was taking all her strength not to admit everything to Kim; her feelings, her thoughts—all of it. Friends be damned at this point.

“No, don’t be silly. Christophe is a nice man, but he really shouldn’t be hitting on you, or anyone, in his restaurant. You did the right thing.”

“Are you sure?” Kim looked unsure whether she should believe Hélène.

“Of course. You can grab my ass anytime you need saving.” Hélène grinned, hoping Kim would laugh it all away. Hélène internally gave herself a high-five when Kim gave her a killer smile.

“Good to know.”

They fell silent as they looked at each other. The air felt charged again. Kim’s phone chimed. Hélène saw Kim’s disappointment as she looked away and to the screen.

“Sorry, one minute.” Kim read the text. Her brow creased in anger. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

The other patrons in the restaurant all stopped and looked over at her outburst.

“What’s wrong?” Hélène asked urgently.

“Greg is here!”

Seven

“W hat the hell are you doing here, Greg?” Kim raged as she stomped towards the door of the suite. “I specifically told you not to come. I specifically told you I needed time.”

Kim had called Greg after her chat with Hélène. She realised Greg coming to Saint-Tropez for the weekend would be a band-aid on a gaping wound. She knew he would arrive and say all the right things, as usual, but she also knew, once the weekend was done, he would go back to work and nothing would change. Kim wanted—no, needed—time to be on her own to figure out if their relationship was worth the work.

“You can’t expect me to just do nothing, not after I’ve made the effort to take time away and come here to be with you,” he shouted.

“I expect you to fucking listen to me!” she screamed. She could feel the blood pumping in her ears. She watched Greg shuffle from side to side, peering over her shoulder.

“Do you think we could discuss this in private? We don’t need a fucking audience,” he griped.

It was only then that Kim remembered Hélène had followed her back to the suite, looking very concerned. She spun around to look at her friend. Hélène had hung back. She was looking more than concerned now.

“I’ll let you in so you can talk,” Hélène said quietly. Kim closed her eyes and took in a large breath. She needed to calm down. It mortified her Hélène was witnessing this.

“Thank you,” she whispered as Hélène passed her to open the door. They walked in silently. Hélène dropped her purse on the table and headed to the balcony.

“I’ll be by the pool. Call if you need anything.”

Kim simply nodded and waited for her to disappear. Once Hélène was out of sight she whirled round and glared at Greg. “What the hell are you doing? Why can’t you respect my wishes?” she asked as calmly as she could. Shouting wouldn’t help.

“I’m trying to fucking understand, Kim. One minute you’re happy I’m coming for the weekend, and the next, you’re telling me to leave you alone. I’m a part of this relationship, too.” He was obviously trying to keep calm, as well.

“You took me by surprise when you offered to come down, and I didn’t actually agree to it. I said I would think about it and I did. I thought about it and decided that I need time on my own. That’s what I told you when I called you back, and instead of listening to me, you once again ignored me and turned up anyway.” She was seething.

“So, what? You get to swan off to Saint-Tropez, living it up whilst I sit at home?”

“I deserve a fucking holiday, Greg. I’ve been begging you for years to spend time away with me. I am sick of waiting around for you. I’m sick of taking a back seat to you.”

“God, you’re ungrateful,” he spat. “I’ve worked my fingers to the bone to provide for you. I waited around like a fucking idiot in London whilst you went to school, and now I need the same support, you’re getting bitchy about it.”

“I can’t believe you just said that.” Kim felt as if he’d just slapped her across the face. “I asked you repeatedly if you were okay with waiting for me to finish school. You promised me I never had to worry about it and now you’re throwing it in my face like I forced you to wait around against your will.”

“I’m not throwing it in your face, just stating facts.”

“Stating facts? I’ll give you fucking facts,” she bellowed, unable to hold in her anger. “You have turned into a horrible misogynist. I don’t recognise the man standing in front of me. You are so far from the sweet man I loved all those years ago. I’m not doing this anymore, Greg. I want you to leave. I’m not in this. I’m not fighting for us anymore.”

“You can’t leave me,” he roared. Kim looked on, shocked, as she saw his face turn red in anger. He lunged towards her, grabbing her arm painfully. “You are coming home now,” he screamed. He looked almost unhinged. The veins in his head were bulging.

Kim froze, Greg’s hand clamped down on her hard. For the first time in their lives together, she feared him. She had never seen Greg act like this. He had never scared her, never laid a finger on her that wasn’t gentle. Her mind went blank and she couldn’t move. She was paralysed.

Without warning, she felt his arm being ripped off her. The tug jolted her back to reality. She watched as Hélène manoeuvred Greg’s wrist in such a way that he crumpled to the floor as she pulled his arm behind his back.

“You will never lay a hand on her again,” Hélène hissed. Her eyes shone with utter rage. Greg whimpered as Hélène forced his arm higher.

“Fuck…stop, okay…stop, you’re going to break my arm,” he cried.

“Say it. Say you will never touch her again.” Hélène’s voice was almost at a whisper. It dripped with disdain for the man.

“I won’t, I swear. I’m sorry, Kim, please.”

Kim shook her head, clearing the fog that had descended on her mind. She looked at the man she used to love, his face writhing in pain. What happened to him?

“Hélène, can you let him go?” she asked quietly, laying her hand on Hélène’s arm. Hélène looked into her eyes, looking for assurance that she was okay. “Please.”

She nodded and dropped Greg’s arm. He rubbed it, trying to ease the pain.

“Greg, I want you to leave. I will have my things collected when I return. If you ever touch me like that again, I will have you arrested,” she stated calmly.

Her previous fear had melted away in Hélène’s presence. She knew she was safe. Greg looked up at her from the floor, tears stung his eyes.

“Kim, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. Please forgive me. I love you,” he begged.

“No, leave now.”

Greg slumped, his shoulders shaking as his tears fell. Kim stood tall and waited until he’d collected himself. She walked confidently to the door and held it open. Greg glanced at her and then at Hélène, his face resigned to his dismissal. Trying to reclaim some of his dignity and pride, he brushed down his trousers and shirt and walked out the door. Just as he was about to turn around to say something more, Kim gently closed the door on him and their relationship.

Kim let her hand rest on the door handle. She needed to steady her breathing before she could face Hélène. She didn’t know what felt worse—Greg’s sudden and frightening behaviour, or the fact she had subjected Hélène to her drama.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her forehead almost resting against the door. “I’m so sorry, Hélène.” She felt Hélène’s body gently press into her back.

“What on earth are you apologising for?” Hélène’s disbelief was clear in every word. Kim dropped the handle and turned around. Hélène was well within her personal space, with a look of sympathy and worry etched on her face.

“You did not sign up for this. You didn’t even sign up to take me in. You should be enjoying your break. All I’ve done is bring you trouble.” Kim’s voice cracked, the weight of the situation finally catching up.

Just as she felt as if she would to crumble to the ground, she felt Hélène’s arms hold her up. The dam broke. All Kim’s emotions she’d been trying so desperately to hold in came flooding out.

“Shhh, it’s okay. I’ve got you,” Hélène whispered in her ear. Minutes later, Kim finally pulled herself together enough to take a step back from Hélène’s embrace.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated.

“No more apologising. You have nothing to say sorry for. You are not responsible for that man’s actions.” Hélène’s face betrayed how angry she was towards Greg. “What he did was inexcusable and he must face the consequences now. My only concern here is you, Kim. Do you understand?”

Kim watched Hélène’s hand gently caress Kim’s arm where Greg had grabbed her. Kim was sure Hélène wasn’t aware of what she was doing.

“Thank you.” Kim gazed into Hélène’s eyes, hoping that she could convey how grateful she was in one look.

“What do you want to do now? Are you tired? It’s been a long day.”

Kim didn’t know what she wanted, but she was sure that sleep would elude her.

Hélène must have seen her indecision. “Why don’t we go up to the roof and do some stargazing?”

“Yes, I think I’d like that.” Kim needed some quiet time to reflect, but she didn’t want to be alone. Hélène made her feel safe. They slowly made their way to the roof. Kim followed Hélène’s lead and lowered herself onto one of the loungers. Hélène picked up a little remote control that lay on the table next to her and hit a button. All the lights went out and Kim gasped at the sea of stars covering the night sky. “Oh, wow.”

“Beautiful,” Hélène whispered. Kim saw Hélène wasn’t looking up at the sky, but at her. A flutter of something swam through Kim’s body. Even though the events of the past half hour had been shocking, Kim’s body couldn’t help its reaction to Hélène’s attention.

“I’ll come with you,” Kim said, turning her face towards Hélène.

“Hmm?” Hélène’s mind was obviously elsewhere.

“I’ll come away with you. That’s if the offer still stands?” Her heart jolted as she watched Hélène’s face transform into something so wonderful she couldn’t possibly put it into words.

“You’ll stay on the boat with me?”

“Yes, if you still want me to?”

“Absolutely!” Hélène beamed. They looked at each other for a few moments. Their smiles matched in size before turning their attention skywards. Kim felt Hélène’s hand slide into hers, their fingers entwining. No words were spoken. Something was changing between them, but no explanations were necessary, not yet.

Some time needed to pass. Wounds needed to heal before either of them was ready for that conversation, but Kim already knew what was transpiring between them was something worth waiting for.

Kim had no idea how much time had passed. They’d laid down, watching the night sky for what seemed like hours, their hands remaining intertwined.

“Do you want a drink?” Hélène asked.

“No alcohol, please. I don’t think that would be a good idea tonight.” The last thing she needed was an anxiety attack. Hélène gracefully lifted off the sunbed and headed to the little bar. Kim continued to look up. Millions upon millions of stars twinkled. She even saw several shooting stars, which made the experience that much better. A calm settled over her. Hélène had given her exactly what she needed.

“Here.” Hélène passed Kim what looked like a piña colada. “It’s virgin.”

“Thanks.”

“Well, we are still on holiday, after all,” Hélène grinned.

Kim appreciated the gesture. She was sure it couldn’t be easy for Hélène to navigate such turbulent waters. Kim took a long sip of her cocktail. It was just as good as its alcohol-infused twin. “Mmmm,” she moaned, “delicious.”

Hélène gave her a smile and settled back down into her seat.

“He wasn’t always like that,” Kim sighed. She was completely perplexed by Greg’s behaviour. In all their years together, Greg had never shown a hint of aggression the way he had tonight.

“I just don’t understand.” Kim shuddered, her lower lip trembling.

What had happened to the sweet man she fell for all those years ago?

“Tell me about him.” Hélène reached for Kim’s hand once again. Kim took in a big breath, wondering where to begin.

“We went to school together. In fact, we only lived a street away from each other. He’s my oldest friend.” Kim shifted herself into a sitting position, letting go of Hélène’s hand and pulling her legs into her chest with her arms wrapped around them. “We did everything together. His parents were quite old when they had him, so he would always hang with me and my parents, who could do a lot more than his own. We got together at the end of high school, shortly after his parents died. He was seventeen. But even after that happened, he never lashed out. He had a moment where he hung around the wrong crowd, but that didn’t last long.”

Kim revelled in Hélène’s closeness.

“We ended up at the same university together. I wanted to complete my Master’s and he said he was happy to wait around until I finished. We had all these plans to travel together after uni but my decision to stay on changed that. Towards the end of my Master’s, Greg was offered a really great opportunity in Paris. I was more than happy to move to France with him. It was the beginning of our adventure. Well, that’s how I saw it.”

How had it gone so wrong?

“As the years went on, I think he got frustrated. I don’t think he was moving up the ladder as easily as he thought he would. I think that’s when I really saw a change in him. He got close to his boss, Hervé, who is a complete and utter arsehole—no other way to describe him. The man hit on me so many times in front of Greg, it was embarrassing. Greg said nothing.”

“Do you think he was worried about upsetting his boss?” Hélène asked.

“He must have been. It hurt, though, because in the past, he would never have stood by whilst someone disrespected me or him that way. He started working all the time, and instead of talking things through with me, he started freezing me out, letting me down. This last year has been miserable. The only thing I had was Anna and my work.”

“Does Anna know about all this?”

“Not all of it. I didn’t want to burden her with it,” Kim sighed.

“I think you need to stop believing your problems and experiences will be a burden to those who care for you, Kim.”

“Maybe…oh, God,” she whined. “What am I going to tell my parents? Greg is like a son to them.”

“You tell them the truth.”

Kim stared up silently, contemplating what Hélène had said. The last thing she wanted was to lump her parents with her mess, especially the part about Greg getting aggressive. What choice did she have, though? She was close to her parents and they would sniff out a lie all the way from England. She’d tell them when she was back in Paris. The thought sent a wave of nausea through her. Paris was her home now, but where would she go? The apartment she shared with Greg was in his name only.

“Hey, what are you thinking?” Hélène asked, interrupting her melancholic thoughts.

“I just realised I’m probably homeless now, too.” Her emotions were overwhelming her again.

“Hey, don’t even worry about things like that. You have people around you who won’t let anything happen to you, okay?” Hélène said with a confidence that lifted Kim out of her misery.

“Thank you, Hélène. You’ve been such a good friend, even though you don’t really know me that well.”

“You’re a good person, Kim. I’m honoured I get to be your friend and get to learn about you. I know it sucks right now, but you will get through it and I will be here for as long as you need me.”

Kim swallowed hard. She was overcome with a feeling she couldn’t quite name, but it was akin to adoration. Maybe something more.

Hélène smiled. “Let’s enjoy our cocktail and then get some sleep. Things will be clearer in the morning, I promise.”

The sound of music woke Kim with a start. She’d been in a deep and dreamless sleep. She’d slept well, considering everything that had transpired the night before. Unsurprisingly, her mind still buzzed with unanswered questions. Pushing her thoughts aside, she headed for the shower.

Kim relaxed as the water massaged her aching muscles. She looked down and saw the bruises forming where Greg had grabbed her. A shudder took over her body, and the fear she felt yesterday crept back into her mind.

“No,” she said forcefully out loud. “No, you don’t get to have that power,” she said louder. She closed her eyes and willed herself to think of happier things. Yesterday’s excursion swam into her memory. Hélène had been just as excited as Kim to explore Saint-Tropez.

First, they’d gone to the Citadel Saint-Tropez, which overlooked the bay. They’d both wandered around the structure in awe. They’d read every word in the brochure, learned everything they could, and then discussed it in depth.

Kim had thoroughly enjoyed talking to Hélène. She was sharp and witty. She knew her own mind, but was more than happy to open herself up to something that challenged her preconceived ideas.

After they’d spent a couple of hours walking around the Citadel, they’d visited the Annonciade Museum, which Kim had enjoyed but not as much as Hélène had. By the time they got to the market, it was very busy, but they persisted and battled through the crowds.

Hélène introduced Kim to all kinds of different foods, which had been the highlight of the day for her. Kim couldn’t remember the last time she’d been challenged and educated as much as she had been yesterday.

Feeling refreshed, Kim followed the sound of the music to the kitchen. Her step faltered when she took in the sight in front of her. Hélène was dancing along to the music, swaying her hips as she cooked, her body moving effortlessly to the rhythm.

She was wearing a white and gold bikini with a sheer robe wrapped around her body. Her hair swayed back and forth over her back as she moved. Kim was frozen to the spot. She knew she should let Hélène know she was there, but she didn’t want the dancing to stop. She was mesmerised.

“Oh, hey,” Hélène called, finally noticing Kim standing by the breakfast bar. “Hungry? I went a little crazy with the pancake batter,” she chuckled. Sure enough, Hélène had made enough pancakes to feed a small army.

“Starving,” Kim replied truthfully. The smell was making her mouth water.

“Sit down and let’s tuck in. We have a long day ahead.”

“Really?” They hadn’t discussed doing anything today.

“Of course, but that’s only if you want to. You can do whatever you want. I thought it would be a good idea to do some shopping for the next leg of our travels.”

Kim smiled broadly. She was happy beyond measure she’d bit the bullet and taken Hélène up on her offer to join her on Connie .

In truth, it hadn’t been a tough decision. From the moment Hélène had comforted Kim in the lobby on the first day there, she’d felt safe and welcome. She still harboured some residual guilty feelings about airing her dirty laundry in front of Hélène, but she was trying to take on board what her friend had said last night and not feel like a burden. Surely, Hélène was upfront enough to say something if she felt uncomfortable helping Kim out.

“What do we need to buy?” she asked enthusiastically.

“Oh, wow, where to start?” Hélène laughed. “I’m going to take you to my favourite dive shop.”

Kim balked at the idea of spending money. Scuba gear wasn’t cheap. Everyone knew that.

“And before you panic, we’re going to rent most of it. I’ve already called Ivan and put the charges on my account.”

“But…”

“No buts. Let me do this for you, Kim. It really would be my pleasure. After all, you’re doing me the favour of spending your time with me. I can’t wait to teach you how to dive, so it’s purely selfish.” Hélène nodded resolutely.

“That’s very kind, thank you. I will find a way to pay you back, though, even if that means serving you drinks for the rest of our holiday.”

“I’m sure we can come up with a much better way than that,” Hélène winked.

Kim felt that wink through to her core. Holy shit, she was in trouble.

Eight

T he last two days at The Sapphire had flown by, and Hélène had enjoyed them immensely. It had been a bit touch-and-go to begin with. Kim had suffered quite a shock with Greg, a thought that made Hélène’s blood boil with rage, just as it had on the night it all happened.

Watching Kim’s reaction when she’d received the text informing her Greg was waiting outside their suite had been difficult. She wanted Kim to figure out her relationship with Greg, but she was also feeling something akin to jealousy at the connection Kim had with this man. She was also pretty pissed he had interrupted their day.

The day spent in Saint-Tropez had been wonderful. Hélène didn’t think it was possible to connect with someone so quickly and on so many levels, but with Kim, it was effortless. The restaurant had been the perfect choice, even if Christophe had tried to hijack her date. Okay, not a date date, but still he was out of order. The memory made Hélène chuckle. Kim putting him in his place was highly entertaining and satisfying. Then came the downfall of the evening: The text.

They hadn’t really spoken on the way back to the hotel. Hélène knew Kim was struggling and trying to make idle chitchat wouldn’t have helped. They’d ridden the elevator in silence. Hélène’s heart rate had kicked up a notch at the thought of the showdown she knew was going to happen.

The man standing at the door to their suite had been exactly the type of man Hélène would have expected to work in a bank. His suit probably cost a few thousand euros, along with his designer Italian shoes and silk tie. He looked around six feet, and his belly was overhanging his trousers slightly. His hair was slicked back, and he wore a huge dose of some repugnant aftershave.

Then the show began. Kim and Greg began to converse, well, more like seethe at each other. Hélène had felt more than awkward, which is why she’d jumped at the chance to let them into the suite as soon as she was given the opportunity.

Kim seemed to have had everything under control and they’d needed privacy, which is why Hélène had made herself scarce and ducked out of the room to the balcony—a decision she now regretted. She should have stayed by Kim’s side, protecting her more.

She’d heard their voices raise, but something else had had her hackles up. It was something in Greg’s voice—a warning of something worse to come. That was when she’d returned to the room. She felt Kim needed her there.

When she’d stepped through the door and seen Greg lunge for Kim, grabbing her arm forcefully, Hélène had seen red, she’d gotten tunnel vision, and the only thing she could think of was getting that asshole’s hands off Kim.

Before she’d known what she was doing, she’d marched over to Greg in three large strides—put to use her many years of martial arts training—and rendered the man incapacitated. Truthfully, if Kim hadn’t stopped her, she would probably have snapped his arm.

It had taken Hélène several deep breaths to calm herself down enough to comfort Kim. She’d been glad that after the initial shock, Kim had wanted to talk it through with her.

That night had turned out to be one of the best in Hélène’s life. Yes, she’d had to watch Kim get hurt, which hurt her just as much, but in the end, Kim had taken Hélène up on her offer to board Connie .

The feeling Hélène had when Kim uttered those words was indescribable. She’d wanted to jump off the sun lounger and take Kim into her arms. She’d refrained, though. It certainly hadn’t been the right time to be doing a happy dance, not when the trauma Greg had inflicted was so raw.

Hélène understood Kim would need space and time. She wanted to do whatever she could to make Kim feel better. That was when the idea of shopping had occurred to her. She thought maybe a distraction would do Kim good, and she’d been right.

The morning after “The Event”—that’s what Hélène had decided to call it—Kim had looked a little flushed when she’d first walked into the kitchen. Hélène thought she must have still felt embarrassed about Hélène witnessing the altercation with Greg. Hélène had been a little embarrassed herself. She hadn’t realised Kim was standing there when she was dancing about the kitchen, making them breakfast.

The trip to the diving shop had been a lot of fun. Kim seemed to be a little overwhelmed at first, but soon got into the spirit of it. Hélène smirked at the memory.

“Jesus, how much bloody gear do you need to buy?” Kim chuckled as she perused the shelves in the shop, which were stuffed with everything a person could ever need for diving.

“It’s great, isn’t it?” Hélène beamed. Hélène had already purchased most of the things in the place, but she always found one more thing she “needed” to buy when visiting. The second bedroom in her apartment had been transformed into her very own diving boutique.

“You’re telling me I need all this?” Kim’s eyes went wide at the very thought.

“Of course not,” Hélène laughed. “You’ll need the basics. A lot of this stuff is for serious divers and those who like gadgets, like me,” she grinned.

“Okay, Jacques,” Kim smirked, “lead the way.”

“Did you just refer to a diving legend, Ms Richmond?”

“Why yes, I did. I’m more than a pretty face, you know.”

“Oh, I know that,” Hélène said, unable to help herself. “So, first things first, let’s get you a mask.”

“Mask, yep, great idea,” Kim nodded, following behind Hélène as she wound through the shop to the section that displayed every type of diving mask you could think of.

“Right, so where do we start?” Kim bounced on her heels.

“Well, is there one that grabs your attention?” Hélène watched Kim as she inspected the shelves.

“That one.” Kim pointed to a bright yellow one.

“Good choice, Ms Richmond. That’s a great mask to start with. It’s a Beuchat, made in France.” She took the mask down to give Kim a closer look. “It’s seamless; the glass is moulded directly into the silicone. The other good thing is that it’s a nice, bright colour. No way I can miss you in this.”

“Are you telling me there’s a chance you could lose me underwater?” Kim almost shouted, making Hélène laugh.

“Calm down, I will not lose you,” Hélène replied. “We will be in shallow clear water. I’ll have you in my sight at all times, okay?”

“Okay.” Kim was a little subdued. Hélène was going to have to work on her confidence and make sure Kim trusted her completely.

“Next item…” She tossed the mask in the basket she’d picked up at the front of the shop. “Flippers!” she said excitedly, unable to contain her enthusiasm. Hélène saw Kim smirk at her as they headed to the wall covered in paired flippers.

“Now, you need to choose a pair that aren’t too rigid, otherwise, you will expel a lot of energy unnecessarily.” She perused the options, wondering which ones Kim would choose.

“What about these?” Kim motioned to a pair just above them.

“Great choice. I have those, just in a different colour.” Hélène was impressed Kim seemed to have a good eye for quality equipment. “Plus, they match your mask.”

“Really?” Kim said, feigning ignorance, making Hélène chuckle.

“You chose them so your outfit would match, didn’t you?” Hélène laughed.

“No idea what you’re talking about. What’s next?” Kim smiled.

“Hmmm, I’m sure,” Hélène muttered, still smiling like an idiot. “I have a tank and breathing equipment for you already on the boat, so we just need a wetsuit and vest.”

“Vest? What kind of vest?”

“In French it’s called Gilet Stabilisateur . It’s what holds your tank and what helps you to stabilise underwater. Don’t worry, I’ll explain it all properly when we get on Connie .”

“Alright, lead the way.” Kim’s earlier anxiety seemed to be gone.

“There are several Gilet Stabilisateur or Stab for short. A dorsal-style Stab is a good idea. I think you will feel more comfortable, and it will help you stay horizontal easier.”

“I have no idea what those words mean, but I trust you. Maybe you should pick the Stab.”

Hélène nodded and took one off the rack. “Try this on.” She beckoned Kim forwards. The Stab fit Kim well. Hélène always did have a knack for sizing up a woman.

“What do ya think?” Kim gave a little twirl.

“Perfect.” Hélène’s comment was more about the woman in front of her than the Stab. “Okay, last but not least, a wetsuit. This isn’t going to be very fun. Putting on a dry wetsuit is easier than when it’s wet, but it’s still going to be a pain to do, so prepare yourself.”

“Oh, blimey,” Kim mumbled.

“There are different thicknesses of wetsuit. Where you dive decides the thickness you need. So, for example, if you were to dive in the North of France you would opt for a 7mm suit—something thick to combat the cold. Thankfully, we will dive in water that will feel like a warm bath, so no need to get a super thick one. I usually dive in a 5mm wetsuit around Corsica.”

“5mm it is then.”

“All these suits are of good quality. Just pick a few you like and you can try them on.” Hélène rifled through the suits hanging up.

Kim took her time. Hélène enjoyed watching her as she weighed up the options. That behaviour seemed to be Kim all over.

When they had first met, Hélène thought Kim was a little rash and pushy, but over the week she realised Kim thought over everything before acting. She considered her actions using the information she was given. Hélène understood now why Kim was so good at science. Her brain was wired that way.

“Here, I’ve picked three. What do you think?” Kim seemed a little nervous, which Hélène found adorable.

“Great choices. Now try them on.”

Whilst Kim changed, Hélène continued to shop. There was a new diving computer she’d seen when they’d first entered. It was expensive, and she didn’t need it at all, but it was also full of cool new features, so that trumped everything.

“Erm, H?” Kim shouted.

“Yeah? You okay?” Hélène called back.

“Erm, no, not really, I’m stuck,” Kim groaned. “Can you help me?”

“Okay, I’m coming,” Hélène laughed. She’d had her fair share of situations with wetsuits, so she knew how Kim was feeling.

“Can I come in?” she asked through the changing room doors.

“Well, unless you’re able to get me out of this thing through a solid piece of wood, I would say that it’s essential you do come in.”

“Alright, snarky.” Hélène chuckled as she pushed open the door. “Oh, dear.” She laughed as she caught sight of Kim, who was red-faced and flustered.

“I got the thing to my thighs and then it became like glue. It won’t budge.”

“You just have to put a little effort behind it. Do you mind?” Hélène pointed to the suit, hoping Kim understood she wanted to help pull the thing up.

“Go for it.” Kim straightened up. Hélène approached carefully. She needed to keep her wits about her because being this close to Kim was dangerous.

“Okay, I’m going to pull it up. I’m sorry if I pinch your skin. It’s sometimes unavoidable.”

Kim nodded and braced herself. With years of practice, Hélène quickly got the wetsuit in place.

“There, all done. How do you feel?”

“Like a piece of shrink-wrapped meat,” Kim groaned playfully.

“You get used to it. The good thing is that, because of your heel obsession, you have excellent posture, which always makes wearing the suit easier and more comfortable.”

“I do not have a high heel obsession.”

Hélène raised her eyebrow in mock objection. “Really?”

“Fine, but it’s only because I can rock the shit out of any heel,” Kim shot back with a smirk.

Hélène was instantly transported back to the night Kim danced in her heels. The memory sent all of Hélène’s blood rushing south. “Do you like it?”

Yes, stick to the wetsuit.

“I do,” Kim nodded, satisfied.

“Excellent, I think we’re done.” Hélène smiled. “I’ll get it all packed and sent to the boat.”

That had been the end of their shopping trip. They spent the rest of their time exploring and stopping for food. Hélène spent the last day in the hotel packing and coordinating their schedule with the captain of the boat. She left Kim to soak up the sun whilst she was busy. Now and then she noticed Kim look at her mobile. A shadow would cross her face for a second, but it never seemed to last long.

Finally, the day had come for them to board Connie . Hélène was ridiculously excited. She could only imagine how Kim was feeling. Hélène hadn’t said much about the boat. She knew Kim was going to be blown away when she saw her moored a kilometre outside of Saint-Tropez.

“Ready?” she called to Kim, who was still in the suite.

“Aye, Aye, Captain,” Kim called back, making Hélène roll her eyes.

“Are you going to be making these kinds of jokes for the entire time?”

“Probably,” Kim laughed, as she wheeled her bag out of the suite.

“The car’s waiting. Let’s go. We have an adventure to begin.”

The car was idling outside the main entrance as they approached the doors. Hélène quickly looked over at the reception area and gave a polite nod to Thomas. She had to stop herself from blushing and laughing at the same time. She’d made sure the staff had got a hefty tip.

The drive to the port was short. It was a perfect day to be heading out to sea. The sun was blazing down, but the heat was offset by a wonderful breeze. Hélène made her way to a small boat that was docked at the closest gangway. She heard Kim’s heels clicking close behind.

“Erm, H?” Kim sounded nervous. “Please tell me that’s not Connie ?” She was pointing to the little boat Hélène had stopped at.

“Don’t you like her?” Hélène enjoyed teasing Kim.

“Oh, er…no, she’s lovely,” Kim spluttered.

Hélène tried her hardest to keep her face as serious as possible, but she failed miserably. Her laughter echoed across the marina. “Kim, of course this isn’t Connie . It’s our boat to get to Connie .”

“Phew, Jesus, I was having palpitations,” Kim chuckled. “So, which one is she?” Kim scanned the marina, looking at all the boats.

“None of these,” Hélène chirped. “Connie is too big to moor here. We need to travel about a kilometre to meet up with her.”

“Too big? Really? There are some beasty boats here. How bloody big is Connie ?”

“You’ll see, come on.” Hélène hefted her bag on board and then Kim’s. She jumped on deck, turning to offer her hand to Kim, who rolled her eyes before skilfully hopping on board. Hélène still couldn’t believe such things were possible in the shoes Kim was wearing.

The boat rumbled to life. The smell of the sea permeated Hélène’s senses. It was like coming home for her. She was never as happy as she was when she was on or in the water.

The little boat zipped out of the harbour, breaking through the water with ease. Hélène and Kim sat back and relaxed, taking in the sights. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky and the sun reflected off the water, making it look like there were thousands of diamonds on the surface. It was peaceful and exhilarating at the same time.

Hélène spotted Connie ’s gargantuan body. She looked over at Kim, who in turn followed Hélène’s gaze back to the horizon. Hélène remained silent. She wanted to watch Kim as they approached the boat. Kim’s eyes got wide. She looked back and forth between Hélène and the boat.

“Are you kidding me?” Kim gasped, standing to get a better look at Connie . “That’s not a boat, Hélène. That’s a sodding cruise liner.”

Hélène let out a laugh. “She’s not a cruise liner. She’s a three-hundred-foot yacht, to be precise.”

“Oh well, only three hundred feet, my mistake,” Kim replied sarcastically.

“Elle est belle ,” Hélène whispered.

Kim nodded in agreement.

Connie was one of the biggest superyachts in the world. Hélène had been lost for words when JJ had first flown her out to board Connie . She boasted a helipad, swimming pool, and Jacuzzi. She could hold over a hundred guests and the suites were nicer than most five-star hotels.

Hélène thought JJ had gone a tad overboard with his purchase at first, but she’d quickly changed her mind when she’d spent two weeks cruising around the Mediterranean, diving with her brother and hosting parties.

That summer had been one of the best in her life. Unfortunately, over the years, they’d only been able to stay on Connie a handful of times together. Hopefully, JJ could fly out in a week or so. She really wanted him to meet Kim.

“I’m lost for words,” Kim gasped as she surveyed the yacht. The little boat slowed to dock with Connie . “I mean, I figured your family was well off, but this is another level, Hélène.”

“It’s solely owned by my brother.” Hélène wondered whether she should come clean about her relationship to one of the world’s richest men.

“What the hell does he do?” Kim was still gawping at Connie .

“Erm, well, you sort of already know, actually.” Hélène’s old anxieties were surfacing. What if Kim acted differently? What if this perfect woman turned out to be not so perfect when the subject of money came up?

“How is that even possible?” Kim enquired, her brow arched.

“He owns your publishing house…well, half, actually.” Kim looked at her in a way that made her nerves tremble.

“Are you talking about John Spencer?”

Hélène remained silent. Instead of answering, she gave Kim a quick nod of her head.

“Well, that would explain Connie then,” she laughed.

Hélène waited for the other questions that usually followed when she revealed she was related to the great John Spencer, but Kim never asked them. Unsure of what to do, Hélène collected their bags and passed them to the waiting crew members.

“Hi, everyone,” she chirped after she asked for and was given permission to step aboard. “I hope you’re ready for some fun.”

The crew on Connie were some of the nicest people in the world. They were passionate about their careers and put one hundred percent into their jobs. Hélène had quickly formed friendships with them all. She loved how they were laid back but always professional; she and Kim were guaranteed to have a wonderful time.

“Come on, I’ll show you to your suite,” she said over her shoulder to Kim, who was still ascending the steps.

“I have a suite?” Kim almost shouted.

“Yes, Kim, you have a suite,” Hélène replied, smiling.

“Jesus.”

Hélène had asked the crew to set up the suite next to hers. There had been several other options, but Hélène wanted Kim to be close. Her resolve to remain friends had been slowly ebbing away as the days had gone by.

Her heart and brain were at constant odds, which was proving to be utterly exhausting. Hélène was sure she’d received some signals from Kim. At least, she thought she’d had. Surely she wasn’t making them up? They had flirted several times in the past forty-eight hours, but Hélène had to be mindful. It was possible Kim was simply reacting to everything that had happened recently.

This is so confusing!

Nine

K im was a bright woman. No, actually, she was more than bright. She was very intelligent; she was gifted with her understanding of biology and yet here she sat, confused beyond measure with her body and mind. She simply didn’t understand her body’s reaction to Hélène.

After the hideous incident with Greg, surely, she should feel sad, upset at the end of their long relationship. However, even after all that, the things she felt were warmth and comfort, because the only thing or only person who was on Kim’s mind was Hélène.

Talking to Hélène calmed her. She felt supported when she’d told Hélène about her past with Greg. Hélène had taken it all in stride, offering words of comfort where needed, just being there to help Kim get through it all.

Sleep hadn’t come easy the night of the incident, especially after receiving a barrage of messages from Greg, begging for forgiveness. She’d replied calmly, asking him to give her space. Kim knew in her heart their romantic relationship was done; however, they shared so much more than that. They’d been best friends for decades, and that wasn’t something she was willing to let go of just yet.

She’d meant what she’d said, though. If they were to ever move past what had happened, he needed to back off. The back and forth of text messages had drained her, but she finally felt Greg had understood and accepted what she was asking of him.

The next morning, Kim had had every intention of telling Hélène about the messages until she’d walked in on Hélène dancing in the kitchen. From that point on, it seemed all the drama became irrelevant. The only thing that mattered, was right then and there. They’d been flirting all holiday, even if neither of them admitted it. Kim knew what was happening.

It had been a long time since Kim had felt a fire like this inside her. She felt alive and wanted. Hélène had no idea Kim was bisexual, so she knew it was unlikely Hélène would make any kind of move. Kim had to decide if she was ready to make it for them both.

Would all the drama in Kim’s life be too much for Hélène? Who in their right mind would get caught up in all that? But something kept niggling in the back of Kim’s mind. It was a feeling that something special was between them, something that could change their lives if they were brave enough to explore it.

The shopping trip to the diving store had been fun. Kim was in awe of Hélène, who radiated passion when explaining all the different types of equipment and their uses. Kim longed to see that passion again.

After the shopping trip, Hélène had busied herself organising and packing. Kim had chuckled several times as she’d watched Hélène buzz around the suite with a look of pure excitement spread across her face.

Kim had given herself the last day to take stock of how she was feeling. More than just being hurt, she was feeling confusion towards Greg. His behaviour was so out of character. Eventually, she decided she would call her parents when she was settled on Connie . They knew Greg just as well as she did, and maybe they could offer her some insight as to what to do next.

Once she’d squared that decision away, her mind focused solely on Hélène and their upcoming trip. She would have weeks alone with her on a boat, sunbathing and diving. Kim was excited she would have quality time with Hélène to help strengthen their bond. She wanted Hélène to know everything about her and vice versa. Kim also wanted time to be sure she wasn’t just having some sort of reaction to the past week, which had been chaotic, to say the least.

So here she sat, in the most luxurious suite she had ever seen, on the biggest privately owned boat she had ever seen, trying to decide what to do next. Hélène had shown her to her suite and told her to get comfortable.

Kim had been quiet since boarding Connie . Her shock and awe had proven too much for her to hold a full conversation. She shook her head, trying to engage her brain. Fumbling in her pocket, she retrieved her phone. Hopefully, Anna would be free to talk. It was so much easier now she and Sam were back in Paris.

“Anna, you will never guess where I am right now!” she said louder than she meant to. The pent-up excitement had become too much.

“Whoa, Jesus, Kim, why are you shouting?” Anna grumbled. Kim thought she sounded as if she’d been asleep. She looked at the time. It was 11 a.m., far too late for Anna to be still in bed.

“Did I wake you?” she replied, much quieter than before.

“Oh, er…yes… I was just taking a nap.”

Kim giggled. Taking a nap my arse . Kim rolled her eyes, laughing. “You just had morning sex, didn’t you?”

The line went silent before Anna pushed out a breath of air, laughing along with her friend. “Yes, okay, I’ve just had morning sex and was drifting off into a sated sleep.”

“Good for you, doll. Say hi to Sam for me.”

“Will do, but she’s out for the count right now,” Anna sighed happily.

Kim could imagine the loving look Anna was giving Sam. “You pair are like rabbits,” Kim laughed.

“Did you call for any other reason than to chat about my amazing sex life?”

“Actually, yes. As I said, you will never guess where I am.”

“Aren’t you at The Sapphire?”

“No, I’m not at the hotel. Some shit has gone down, Anna, like some major, life-altering things.”

Kim heard Anna shuffling about. She presumed she was taking herself into another room.

“Okay, go.” Anna had an edge of concern in her voice. Kim took a deep breath before spilling everything that had happened with Greg and Hélène over the past week. Just the act of talking to Anna had a therapeutic effect. It made her feel like she could see things a little clearer now. Kim also wanted Anna’s opinion on it all.

“That is a lot,” Anna breathed. “Okay, first, I’m so sorry the hotel screwed up like that. I will have words,” she said sternly, making Kim smile. “Second, Greg has a lot to answer for. No matter what the circumstances, laying a hand on you is inexcusable and you did the right thing asking him to leave. As far as the breakup, only you know if that’s what you want. The big thing in this is the Hélène situation. I didn’t know you’re bi. You never said a word when I came out to you.”

“I didn’t purposely hide it from you, doll. It’s just something I don’t feel the need to bring up.”

“Okay, fair enough. So, what do you want to happen with Hélène?”

“Something more than friendship. I know that much. Anna, she’s the most caring person I’ve ever met. She’s beautiful on the inside and out.”

“Well, it seems clear to me you know what you want.”

“That’s the thing, though. It’s what I want. I don’t know if that’s what she wants.”

“But you said there has been definite flirting.”

“Yes, pretty much from the moment she rescued me in the hotel lobby.”

“So I think it’s safe to say she’s interested. You just have to talk to her. Don’t do what I did and keep your feelings to yourself. The worst outcome would be she just wants to be friends. The best outcome is, well…”

“You’re wiggling your eyebrows right now, aren’t you? Do you just think of sex all the time now?” Kim laughed.

“I said nothing about sex,” Anna protested playfully.

“You implied it,” Kim shot back.

“No, I didn’t. You’re just horny.”

“Doll, you have no idea,” Kim chuckled.

“Joking aside, you guys could have something wonderful, but you’ll never know until you talk.”

“You’re right, I know you are. I suppose I’m just nervous. I’ve only been with Greg, so this is new to me.”

“Relax, you’re in no rush. I think you’ll know when it feels right. In the meantime, enjoy this break—laugh, swim, and drink. It’s the first holiday you’ve had in a long time. Take advantage of it and relax,” Anna said warmly.

“You’re the best, do you know that?” Kim chirped back. She was very fortunate to have a friend like Anna.

“I am, it’s true,” Anna laughed. “Now, if you don’t mind, I think I just heard Sam, so I need to get back to bed.”

“Enjoy yourself,” Kim chimed.

“No doubt about that. Speak soon.”

“Speak soon.”

The line cut off, leaving Kim to mull over her conversation with Anna and all its implications.

Kim allowed herself a few minutes to think, to decide how she was going to proceed with Hélène. First and most importantly, she needed to be sure Hélène felt the same. There wasn’t an easy way to do that. Well, there was, but that meant Kim had to put her big girl pants on and have a frank discussion with the French beauty.

Could she be that bold? She’d let that idea percolate for a while. In the meantime, she had to process her surroundings because frankly, Connie was stunning. The name of the boat made her laugh. Who the hell called a luxury yacht Connie ?

Kim slowly walked around the suite. It was on the left side of the boat. Was that port side? Kim needed to brush up on her nautical terminology. The large, queen bed faced a wall of windows that allowed her to gaze out into the blue paradise surrounding them. Kim couldn’t wait to see the sunrise in the morning.

Everything in the suite screamed money and wealth. The carpet was so thick Kim considered just taking a nap on it. The furniture matched the boat’s trim, which was a rich mahogany. It was a wonderful contrast of clean white against dark wood. The spotlights made the suite sparkle. Kim could easily spend the rest of the trip in her room without getting sick of it.

When they’d first come aboard, she’d followed Hélène through the boat in a daze. Now she couldn’t for the life of her remember anything she had seen. Maybe it was time to explore? Hélène had said she was going to change and then catch up with the crew.

After throwing on her bikini and a wraparound robe, Kim set off to find Hélène. She noted Hélène’s door a little farther down the corridor. Should she knock—see if she was still in there? No, Kim was sure Hélène was already on one of the four decks.

Kim looked at a floor plan that was attached to the wall. The deck she was on now was where the suites were located. There was a deck with a dining area, another with the lounge and pool out back, or at the stern . Kim praised herself for remembering the correct term. The top deck seemed to be where the captain would be, also hosting an observation area with sun loungers by the look of the map.

Kim walked towards the stairs that led to the other decks. Of course, they weren’t any old stairs. No, they were constructed of spiralling solid mahogany. Kim was almost certain the staircase alone cost more than the entire building she lived in.

Throughout the boat, the light was a mix of natural sunlight, let in by the tinted windows that spanned the entire length of each side of the boat, and brighter, more crisp light from spotlights which had been strategically placed to enhance the high-end features in each room.

Eager to find Hélène, Kim rushed through each area, trying to get her bearings. After a few minutes, she could hear Hélène’s distinct laughter filtering through from the outside where the pool was located.

“Hey, there you are,” Hélène said, smiling as Kim joined her and a woman who she didn’t know, sitting with their feet dangling in the water.

“Sorry, took me a while to navigate my way here,” Kim replied sweetly. She didn’t like how close the unknown woman was sitting next to Hélène.

“Navigate? Are you really going to be throwing in as many nautical terms as you can on this trip?” Hélène chuckled.

“Well, when in Rome and all that?” Kim replied nonchalantly.

“Here, here,” the unknown woman chimed.

Hélène chuckled, then squeezed the woman’s arm, making Kim’s insides squirm uncomfortably.

“Sorry, this is Holly. She’s part of the kitchen crew and one of my best friends. We’ve been diving together on Connie for years.” Hélène was smiling fondly at Holly.

“It’s a pleasure,” Holly chirped, holding out her hand to Kim.

“Right back at you.” Kim smiled, shaking her hand. So, one of Hélène’s best friends was a gorgeous Ozzy. Kim didn’t like it one bit. Jealousy really was an ugly bitch.

“So,” Hélène began, “I think we will have a couple of chill days relaxing by the pool before we arrive in Corsica. How does that sound?” She directed the question to Kim.

“Fantastic, I’ll do whatever you want,” Kim replied, her voice a little lower—almost sultry—than she meant it to be, causing Hélène to raise an eyebrow.

“Really, anything I want, hmm?” she replied playfully.

“Anything.” Kim was done playing games. She wanted Hélène to understand she was interested, especially now Holly had turned up. Her flirting was obviously having an effect as Hélène swallowed deeply before clearing her throat, suddenly unable to look Kim in the eye.

“Wow, it just got real hot out here,” Holly announced, her eyes darting between Kim and Hélène.

Not wanting to make Hélène too uncomfortable, Kim extricated herself from the situation. “I’m going for a swim if that’s okay? Holly’s right; it is a touch warm out here.” Kim headed to the pool’s steps before anyone had time to reply.

The water was refreshing. It was a wonderful contrast to the heat that was beating down from the cloudless sky. Kim swam the length of the pool slowly, watching Hélène and Holly from the corner of her eye. They seemed to whisper, which made Kim’s green-eyed monster rear its ugly head again.

Had she been fooling herself this whole time? Had she imagined Hélène flirting? One thing was for sure, Holly and Hélène looked comfortable together. It was definitely possible they were more than just friends.

Kim continued to swim even when she saw Holly get up and leave. She wondered what Hélène would do. Would she follow Holly? Her question was quickly answered when Hélène stood and stripped off her T-shirt and shorts, revealing a very sexy black bikini. It took all of Kim’s concentration to carry on swimming and not drown.

Hélène slid her golden body into the water and made her way over to Kim. “How are you finding everything so far?” she asked Kim as they swam next to each other.

“H, this is paradise. I don’t know how you stay away for months on end?” It was the absolute truth. She’d live on Connie if she had the opportunity.

Hélène laughed. “I know what you mean. If I were the type of person to live off family money, I would probably spend all my time here, but, alas, I’m not. I enjoy making my own money which means, like you, I have to work a lot and take vacations when I can.”

Kim didn’t really have a response to that. She felt as if anything she said would take them into a conversation that was a little too deep. That was always the case where money and family were concerned.

“So, Holly seems nice.” It wasn’t the most subtle of conversation changes, but Kim just couldn’t shake the feeling that was growing in her stomach. She needed to know if Hélène and Holly were more than just best friends.

“Holly is great. We’ve had some amazing times on this boat.” Hélène smiled, clearly reliving some of those memories.

Well, that kind of said it all, didn’t it? Kim’s heart felt as if it had just been punched. From the look in Hélène’s eyes when she spoke of Holly, Kim was convinced they were more than friends.

“Right,” Kim said curtly, her jealousy seeping out. “Well, if you both need some time together, just let me know and I’ll busy myself elsewhere.”

“That’s unnecessary, but thanks?” Hélène looked a little confused. “She’ll be joining us for dinner later, along with a couple of other crew members, if that’s okay with you?”

“More than okay,” Kim lied. “I think I’ll go freshen up before dinner. What time should I be ready?” She wanted nothing more than to escape to her suite.

“Oh, okay.” Hélène’s eyes dropped from Kim’s in disappointment. “Dinner will be at seven, so you have plenty of time. How about a cocktail?”

“Thanks, but I think I’ll take a nap. Long day.” Kim swam to the steps. She was struggling to keep her emotions in check. Typical! Just as she’d decided to go after what she wanted, it was too late. Hélène was clearly taken with Holly, and Kim was not about to be a third wheel.

Thankfully, Kim had an easy time finding her way back to her room. Throwing her wraparound on the bed, she hit the shower. Maybe a nap was what she needed. They’d had a long day, and Kim had dealt with a lot of emotional baggage recently. Perhaps that was why she was feeling so eaten up at the idea of Hélène and Holly.

A light knocking drew Kim out of her sleep. After taking a couple of seconds to adjust to her surroundings, she padded over to her door. Hélène stood outside looking like a fucking model. She wore a dress that looked as if it should be worn on a red carpet. Her hair was swept over one shoulder, revealing her long and slender neck. Kim had to check she wasn’t dribbling.

“Sorry to wake you,” Hélène said, her voice as soft as velvet. Kim almost wondered if she were dreaming.

“No, it’s fine. What time is it?” she replied sleepily. The nap had turned into a full slumber. Kim had clearly needed to rest.

“It’s seven-fifteen. I was beginning to think you’d jumped ship when you didn’t come to the dining area.”

“Shit,” Kim barked. She’d overslept and kept everyone waiting. “Give me like twenty minutes and I’ll be there,” she yelled over her shoulder as she ran back to the bedroom to dress.

“Take your time. I’ll meet you there.”

“Okay,” Kim shouted through the dress she was pulling over her head. She heard her door close and sank onto the bed. Fuck . Now she had to pull herself together enough to spend the evening with Hélène, who looked like a fucking goddess, and her probable girlfriend.

Shaking her head, Kim grew frustrated with herself. Why the hell was she giving up so easily? She’d made a snap decision about Hélène and Holly, and she’d all but walked away without knowing any facts. It was not like her at all.

Hélène may or may not be involved with Holly, but until Hélène told Kim specifically either way, she wasn’t going to back down. It had only been a few hours since she’d decided to see if there was something more between them, and she was damned if she was going to turn and run now.

Drawing herself up, she flattened down her dress, which looked as if she’d been sewn into it and picked out her favourite heels; the ones Hélène had salivated over when Kim had danced in them. It took her a few minutes to do her hair and makeup before she surveyed herself in the mirror. God damn, her mum would be proud. Kim looked like a fucking bombshell, and it was all for Hélène.

I’m coming for you, doll!

Ten

S omething was off with Kim. Hélène knew that much. As to the reason, that was a complete mystery. Everything had been fine when they’d left the hotel and headed to Connie . They’d both been in high spirits, excited for the next leg of the trip.

It was clear Kim had found the boat a little overwhelming, but Hélène didn’t think that was the reason Kim had acted strangely by the pool. Maybe it was because Hélène had left her alone in her room? At the time, she’d thought it a good idea to give Kim a bit of space to acclimatise herself to her new surroundings, but maybe that had been a mistake.

Hélène had been riding a high since she boarded Connie . Seeing her friends, especially Holly, was just what she needed. Hélène had met Holly the first time she’d boarded Connie . Holly was new to the kitchen crew and they’d hit it off immediately. To begin with, they’d seen each other as a potential love interest, but they soon realised they were better suited as friends.

“So, where is your friend ?” Holly smirked as they sat at the dining table, waiting for Kim to appear. The fact Kim hadn’t turned up for dinner was another reason Hélène was convinced there was something wrong.

“I’m not sure why you said friend like that?” Hélène was used to Holly baiting her, especially when there was a beautiful woman around.

“I said it like that because I don’t believe for one second you just want to be friends,” Holly answered smugly.

“We are just friends.” Hélène was not having this discussion with Holly. It was already a complicated mess. She didn’t need her friend’s input, which she knew would likely suggest she bed Kim and move on.

“Just friends, really?”

“Yes,” Hélène said emphatically.

“Excellent, you won’t mind if I have a crack at her, then?” Holly gave Hélène a smirk, causing heat to rise in her chest. Sometimes Holly really tested her patience.

“She’s just broken up with her long-term boyfriend, Hols. She needs support and relaxation, not a horny lesbian coming on to her.” Hélène’s tone was a little harder than necessary.

“You never know, Hélène. A roll in the sack with a gifted lesbian may be just what the doctor ordered.” Holly wiggled her eyebrows. Hélène looked at her friend, stunned. Had she always been this egotistical?

“Did you miss the ‘boyfriend’ part of my sentence?”

“No, but I’m not gonna assume she’s straight. I’d like to hear that from her,” Holly said matter-of-factly.

“Holly, seriously, she’s vulnerable right now. Please leave her be.”

“Fine, but just for now, Hélène. The moment I think she’s into me, I’m taking my shot,” Holly said confidently. “Anyway, are you gonna have the same chat with that pair?” Holly directed her eyes to Leo and David, the two other members of the crew that often went diving with Hélène and Holly.

They always got together for meals on their trips, and Hélène had thought it a good idea to introduce Kim to them. Thinking about it now, though, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea. They were two good-looking fellas, both single and very good with women. How had Hélène surrounded herself with people that were definitely going to hit on Kim? People who probably had more chance of succeeding than she did.

“Yes, I will be,” Hélène said as she moved toward the men talking at the other end of the room. Her progress was halted, though, as she watched Leo and David both stare wide-eyed at the door to their left. Hélène followed their line of sight and walked straight into the corner of the table. Kim had just entered the dining room and turned every single head. Hélène thought she was going to hyperventilate.

Kim was wearing one of her signature dresses that moulded itself to every inch of her sumptuous body, and dear God, those heels—the same heels that had set Hélène on fire when watching Kim dance in them.

Hélène was dumbstruck. Her voice had abandoned ship completely, and her mind could only process Kim’s movements, which were confident and seductive. Kim strode into the room as if she fucking owned it, her hips swaying and head held high.

“Evening all, I’m so sorry I’m late,” she purred. No one moved. Every eye was fixed on Kim, who clearly knew the effect she was having, considering the small grin that was etched on her face. Holly was the first to move. She shot out of her chair to greet Kim.

“No apologies necessary,” she said smoothly.

So much for waiting, Holly!

“I’m David,” David said, hurrying over to take Kim’s hand.

Seconds later, Leo was by her side. “Leonardo, enchanté ,” he said, grasping Kim’s other hand and kissing her knuckles.

“You look stunning,” Hélène said, almost in a whisper. She’d meant to say it in her head, but her voice had returned at that very moment and embarrassed the shit out of her.

Kim’s eyes snapped to Hélène’s.

“So do you,” Kim replied.

They all stood in silence for a few seconds. Holly, David, and Leo looking between the two women who had yet to break eye contact. Hélène felt the tension rising. She had to break it for her own sanity.

“Shall we eat?” Prying her gaze away from Kim, she moved to stand behind her seat.

Without a word, everyone headed to the table. It was a large solid wood table that could easily seat twenty. It wasn’t often Hélène used the room. She much preferred less formal meals by the pool, but she was determined to give Kim the full luxury yacht experience.

“This is breathtaking,” Kim said, her gaze scanning the room as she sat in the chair next to Hélène. Unsurprisingly, the other guests fought to get to the chair that was on the other side of Kim. Leo won out through sheer force.

“It is beautiful,” Hélène replied, sinking into her seat, Holly taking the one to her left, followed by a pissed off David.

“Is this your first time on a luxury yacht?” Leo asked. His Italian accent had suddenly become 100% stronger.

Hélène internally rolled her eyes at him.

“It is,” Kim replied sweetly.

“And what do you think so far?” Leo pressed, his body getting ever closer to Kim.

“No complaints from me,” Kim chuckled, causing everyone to smile because even Kim’s chuckle was fucking gorgeous.

The door hidden at the back of the room swung open. Sal, the chef, came bustling over to Hélène, kissing her on each cheek. “Salut , ma cherie .”

“Salut, Sal,” Hélène beamed. “Sal, this is Kim. She’s my guest.”

“Welcome, Madame,” he said with a little bow towards Kim, which made her blush. “I hope you will enjoy the meal I have prepared.”

“Oh, I have no doubt,” she said and then paused, her face paled a little. “Erm, that is, unless you have done a lot of seafood…I…I don’t eat fish.”

“No fish, Madame. Hélène already filled me in on your aversion to Fruit de Mer .” He smiled. Kim’s face filled with colour again.

“I can’t believe you remembered. I only mentioned that once, and it was an off-the-cuff comment, if I recall.” Kim looked at Hélène, who blushed.

Hélène remembered everything Kim had told her over the course of their time together. She’d tried to soak in every bit of information Kim had been willing to give during their talks.

“I have an excellent memory.” Hélène smiled back.

“So, are you all ready?” Sal interjected. Everyone nodded in agreement.

The food was excellent, as usual. The conversation flowed between the group; however, Hélène wanted to reach over and pour some cold water over Leo’s head. He had spent the entire meal fixated on Kim, his body inching closer every time he spoke.

“Cocktails by the pool?” Hélène asked the group.

“Crackin’ idea, darl,” Holly said excitedly. Hélène had seen her friend drink twice the amount of alcohol as everyone else during dinner, which meant she was in the party zone. If they weren’t careful, Holly would turn their little soirée into a full blowout.

“May I escort you out?” Leo asked Kim, holding out his arm for her to take. With a polite smile, Kim took Leo up on his offer.

“He’s going to get in her knickers,” David grumbled.

“No, he is not. Kim has standards,” Hélène laughed. Her true feelings about David’s statement were far from funny. Her gut was twisting at the thought of Kim going to bed with Leo. What could she do, though? If Kim wanted to blow off some steam with a hunky Italian, there was nothing Hélène could do about it.

All the levity of the evening drained from her body. She was suddenly tired and regretted the cocktail suggestion. She had to be a suitable host, though, so she squared her shoulders and followed David down the stairs to the pool.

Leo had already taken care of the cocktails. He stood by the railing, close to Kim, chatting away. Hélène watched them momentarily. By the fake smile on Kim’s face, Hélène knew she didn’t have to worry about Leo’s advances.

“Hey, do you want to take a walk around the boat?” Hélène asked Kim as she drew up next to her. She tried to ignore Leo, shooting daggers her way.

“We were just in the middle of a conversation,” Leo interjected, his voice strained.

“A walk would be lovely,” Kim replied, giving Leo a sweet smile before wrapping her hand around Hélène’s offered arm.

“We can walk all the way around if you like. It’s a beautiful evening and the sun will set soon.”

“Perfect.” Kim tightened her grip ever so slightly on Hélène’s arm.

They walked slowly and in comfortable silence for a while. The view from the ship was astonishing, especially as the setting sun was casting radiant colours across the sky.

Hélène heard Kim let out a sigh. “Are you okay?”

“I’m…” Kim began, but trailed off.

Hélène could see she was struggling with something. “Hey, you can tell me,” she whispered, bringing them to a stop so they could lean against the railings. A splash caught Hélène’s attention. She whipped her head towards the sound and smiled brightly. “Look.”

Kim looked out and gasped.

Hélène’s heart soared at Kim’s sheer delight as they watched a small pod of dolphins play.

“Oh my God,” Kim cried, her whole body coming alive.

Hélène sent a little thank you into the universe. This couldn’t have happened at a better time. “Beautiful,” Hélène remarked. She was in awe herself, as she watched the playful creatures twist and turn underwater before leaping into the air. Seeing such things reminded her how fortunate she was to be able to have these types of experiences.

She cast her eyes towards Kim, who was no longer looking out to sea. She was regarding Hélène with a look that could only be described as determined. The tension between them was charged. Hélène wasn’t sure what had happened in those few seconds to have changed the atmosphere so much, but she was scared that if she didn’t diffuse it soon, she would do something stupid.

“We’re really lucky to see dolphins. I’ve only ever seen them twice in this area, so it’s…” Her voice was muted when she felt Kim’s lips on her own. Those soft, warm lips sought permission to delve deeper. It took Hélène’s brain a millisecond to decide she absolutely wanted the kiss to evolve.

Hélène’s hands automatically went to Kim’s waist, pulling her in closer. She felt Kim’s hands travel to the back of her neck, massaging and pulling her in. She felt Kim’s tongue brush against her lips, causing her to groan.

Hélène was having an out-of-body experience, but there was something nagging in her mind, something telling her to pull back. She gripped Kim’s hips once more before withdrawing her hands and her lips. Her breath was coming fast, and the blood in her body seemed to pool between her thighs, leaving her head dizzy.

“Kim…” she panted. She watched Kim’s eyes open slowly.

“That was…”

“Remarkable.”

“Yes.”

They stood silently, looking at each other. Hélène’s mind was running a million miles an hour. She was struggling to understand what the hell had just happened. She needed answers, however, Kim had other ideas. Before Hélène could open her mouth, Kim leaned in, kissed her cheek, and bid her good night.

Hélène stood rooted to the spot, unable to move. Had that really just happened? Had Kim, the woman she’d been dreaming of, just kissed her? Hélène sucked in a big breath. She had to figure out what it meant. They were going to be living in the same space for a couple of weeks with no means of escape.

It wouldn’t be a problem for her, but it was more than possible Kim would instantly regret her actions and want off the boat.

After several hours of staring at the bedroom ceiling, Hélène eventually made her way to the pool. The stars were shining in their infinite glory. The Milky Way stretched out above her as she lay on a lounger. Nothing Hélène did stopped her mind from buzzing. Kim’s actions had really thrown her.

Throughout the entire trip, Hélène had concentrated on making sure Kim was okay, and that she felt comfortable and safe. Now, lying under the starry sky, Hélène had to make sure all those things were true for herself.

The strength of her feelings made no sense. She’d known Kim for just over a week—discounting the handful of times they’d interacted with each other through Anna and Sam. How could she be so far gone already? What happened when Kim left? Hélène’s breakups in the past had been difficult. It was always hard to watch someone she liked walk away for whatever reason. With Kim, though? She wasn’t sure she could come back from that kind of heartache.

As a young girl, Hélène had always believed she could fall in love at first sight but that had just been the fantasy and hopes of a girl. She was now a woman—a woman who had learned true love and love at first sight were rare and unlikely to happen to her.

JJ and Claire had had that kind of love, which made Hélène’s heart sing and cry at the same time. She was so happy her brother, whom she loved more than anyone, had been given that gift, and so angry he’d had it so cruelly ripped away.

“Are you going to make a habit of waking me up in the middle of the night?” JJ grumbled sleepily. Hélène smiled. She felt bad for calling him, but she needed some guidance.

“Sorry J, I just needed to hear your voice.” She was aware of how silent the boat was. Her voice echoed as she spoke.

“What’s up, kid?”

That was the question, wasn’t it? What was wrong? Nothing and everything. The woman she craved had kissed her. She should be on cloud nine right now, but she felt hollow.

“Kim kissed me.” Just hearing the words out loud made her stomach flip excitedly.

“Wow,” he replied with a chuckle. “I take it you weren’t expecting it?”

“Not at all. She kissed me and then said good night.”

“Maybe it was just as much of a shock to her as it was to you?”

“Yeah, maybe,” she muttered.

“What’s wrong?”

“It was the best kiss I have ever had, JJ. She literally took my breath away, but then she left—just walked away. She’s had so much going on lately I can’t help wondering if it really meant something or just that she’s struggling with her life right now and needed an outlet.”

“You could be right. The only way you’ll know is by talking to her or letting her come to you. You’re the one that knows her. Judge your reaction on the way she acts with you when you see her. Let her know you’re willing to let her set the pace.”

“What if it was just a mistake to her, though? I’m not sure how I would handle it.”

“Are you falling for her?”

“I think I am, which is stupid. I’m setting myself up for heartache. There’s no way she’s in the right headspace. I’m not even sure she really likes women, for Christ’s sake.”

“You’re making a lot of assumptions right now without knowing all the facts. Like I said, let her come to you and then talk to her—honestly.”

“I don’t know, JJ,” she huffed.

“Yes, you do, otherwise you wouldn’t have called me. I’m only telling you what you already know.”

“Hmm.” Real mature Hélène .

“Go get some sleep. Tomorrow, or I should say this morning, continue as you were. Let her know you’re not freaking out. Get on with your day and be patient. Okay?”

“Okay, thanks, JJ, sorry for waking you. Again.”

“No worries, kid.”

“Okay, night.” She could do that, right? Just get up and carry on like nothing had happened without making Kim think she was dismissing the kiss. Yeah, simple. It was decided, then. She’d carry on with the trip and wait to see if Kim wanted to talk.

Even though the talk with her brother had helped, her mind was still whirring. It seemed sleep was not in the cards. Picking herself up from the lounger, she trudged back to her suite.

Eleven

K im stretched out her legs until they rested on the balcony rail. The low morning sun warmed her as she settled back into her chair, hot cup of coffee in hand. After kissing Hélène the night before, Kim hadn’t expected to sleep, but she had. In fact, she’d slept so soundly, that when she woke at 7 a.m., she felt wonderfully rested.

Her spur-of-the-moment decision to kiss Hélène hadn’t caused the expected reaction she thought would follow. Instead of anxiety or panic, Kim felt oddly calm. It was as if Hélène’s lips had given her all the answers to the questions she’d been asking herself over the past week.

Hélène was something special. That kiss had been something special. The timing had been perfect with the sun setting across the sea. The dolphins had added magic to the air, and in that moment, Kim couldn’t think of a more perfect time to let Hélène know how she felt.

The melodious sound of a Skype call filtered through Kim’s suite. The picture identified the caller as Kim’s mum.

Strange, it’s only about 6 a.m. in England .

“Hi,” Kim chirped as her mum came into focus on her screen.

“Darling, how are you, love?” Kim’s mum, Joy, bellowed down the phone.

“Mother, you do not need to shout.” Sometimes, Joy Richmond forgot she wasn’t addressing a large lecture hall full of adoring students.

“Sorry, doll,” she chuckled. “You okay? It’s been a while since we heard from you.”

“Is that why you’re calling so early?”

“Well, yes, and the fact we’ve both been up since five prepping for next week’s trip.”

Kim had forgotten her parents were due to travel to the States to be guest speakers at two Ivy League schools. They seemed to work more now, when they were supposed to be retired, than they did when they were in full-time employment. Kim couldn’t fault them, though. They were doing something they loved, together.

“I completely forgot. Are you both ready?”

“Ready as we’ll ever be,” a faceless voice chimed in from somewhere behind Joy.

“Peter, would you come and sit down? We are not having a three-way conversation with you in another room,” Joy huffed, rolling her eyes, causing Kim to laugh.

“What is he doing?” Kim chuckled, her dad finally making an appearance, his arms full of files.

“He’s over-preparing as usual.”

“I am not,” Peter scowled.

“Yes, you are. Don’t argue,” Joy said without looking at her husband.

“Dad, do you really need all those?”

“No, he does not. Now, will you come and sit your cute bum down?”

“Mum, don’t call his bum cute when I’m on the phone.”

“Why? It’s true. You should thank him for it, considering you inherited it,” Joy laughed.

“Don’t worry, honey, you inherited all of your mum’s delicious curves, too.” Peter smiled lovingly at his wife as he scooted to sit next to her.

“Geez, give it a rest, you two,” Kim laughed. Her parents had always been openly loving with each other. It had set a high standard for Kim as far as her love life was concerned. Then it dawned on her. That’s what had been missing between her and Greg. Kim wanted the kind of love her parents had and she hadn’t had it with him.

“Is that a new dress?” Kim asked, pulling herself away from her straying thoughts.

“Do you like?” Joy asked, running her hands down it. Kim had the exact same taste as her mother. Even though Joy had never tried to influence her style one way or the other, Kim had followed in her footsteps.

“I love it,” Kim beamed. It really was a sublime dress; forest green with thin white embroidery around the seams of the arms and collar. Kim could see the bodice was tapered to fit snugly around her mum’s waist. The skirt section flared out. It was gorgeous.

“She doesn’t need any more dresses,” Peter interjected.

“A woman can have as many dresses as she damn well pleases! Cardigans, on the other hand, should be limited to two, not two wardrobes full, so you’re not one to speak,” her mum huffed playfully.

Where her mum had fabulous fashion sense, her dad did not. He really was the stereotypical professor, cardigans and all.

“Dad, you do need to cut down on the wool,” Kim giggled.

“Never!” he declared loudly, making them all laugh.

“Anyway, love, are you having fun?” Joy asked once they’d all calmed down.

Was she having fun? The events of the past week flashed in front of her eyes. Kim had had every intention of calling her parents and filling them in on everything, but she’d wanted a few days out at sea to fully relax before tackling what she knew was going to be a tough conversation.

“Yes, I’m having fun. I’m currently on a superyacht in the Mediterranean.”

“I thought you were in a hotel?” her dad piped up.

“I was, but…well, the holiday didn’t start off great. There was a mix-up with the room and I ended up staying with a friend that happened to be there.”

“Which friend?” Joy asked casually.

“Hélène DuBois. She’s actually more of a friend to Sam, but we’ve seen each other around. She was so kind and let me crash in her suite.”

“That was very kind of her,” Peter said. Joy nodded in agreement.

“It was…” Kim’s voice trailed off.

“What’s going on, Kim?” her mum asked, leaning towards the screen. She had to talk to them. It was no good putting it off, especially if she wanted to enjoy the rest of her time on Connie .

“So, look, the reason I went on holiday was because I needed a break from Greg. He’d cancelled our plans again, and I’d had enough. Things between us have changed, so I thought getting away would be beneficial to us both.”

“Okay,” her parents said simultaneously.

“During the week, Greg showed up, unannounced.” The hard part was coming up. “We got into a fight and he…”

“He what?” Peter asked, his brow creasing, as if he knew what she was about to say.

“He got a little physical.”

“He what?” Peter bellowed.

“Calm down, Dad. Hélène handled it and then I threw him out. Needless to say, our relationship is over.”

“Are you okay, love?” her mum asked softly. Joy was always the one to calm a fraught situation.

“I’m okay. I was shocked at the time, but Hélène has been a wonderful friend and has helped me.”

“Well, I’m really starting to like Hélène,” her dad quipped.

“You will love her,” Kim shot. Her mum arched an eyebrow at her enthusiastic outburst. “I decided to tag along with her on the next part of her holiday, hence why I’m now on a yacht.”

“Good, you deserve it, love, but I need to just go back to the whole Greg thing for a minute, if you don’t mind.” Joy’s tone was insistent.

“Okay.”

“We’ve known that boy for a long time. It’s worrying we never saw that he could get physical.”

“I never saw it, Mum, and that’s because he never would have. Whatever is going on with him is really out of character. Now, because you’re both super pissed at him right now, my next request is going to be difficult.”

“And what request is that?” Peter barked.

“I need you to get hold of him and help him. I can’t right now. We need space. I need space, but that doesn’t mean I’m not worried about my best friend. He is my best friend, and even though we’ll need time to heal before we can get back to that, I still need to know he is okay. He doesn’t have anyone apart from us, Dad.”

“I’ll call him,” Joy nodded.

“He put his hands on our little girl, Joy,” Peter said irately.

“He did, and I will address that with him; however, Kim is right. We’ve been like parents to him since he was a young lad, and to hear he acted in such a way is very worrying,” Joy insisted.

“Please, Dad,” Kim pleaded. “Call him and talk to him. Something isn’t right.”

“Fine, but he will answer for his actions,” Peter barked.

“Yes, he will,” Joy placated.

“Thank you,” Kim sighed. Knowing Greg had someone on his side made her feel better. The three of them sat silent for a minute.

“There is something else,” Kim mumbled. She hadn’t planned on telling her parents about Hélène yet, but it just felt great getting it all off her chest.

“Bloody hell, what else? You’re not pregnant, are you?” Peter moaned.

“No, not preggers, Dad,” Kim laughed. “Erm…well, something might have happened between me and Hélène,” she said shyly. Her parents knew she liked both men and women.

“Something like what?” her mum asked.

“Er, well, I kind of kissed her last night.” She couldn’t look at them.

“Christ, almighty, Kim, you’ve only just dumped Greg,” her dad snapped.

“Hey, watch your tone, mister,” Joy shot at her husband. “Kim has every right to kiss whomever she likes, whenever she likes. She’s the one who knows her own feelings. Who are you to judge?” God, Kim loved her feisty-as-fuck mum.

“Well…I mean.”

“Well, nothing. Hush your mouth until you’re ready to support your daughter.” Kim had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing. Her dad looked like a scolded child.

“Sorry, love,” he mumbled.

“It’s okay, Dad, I get your worry. The thing is, she’s just a wonderful person, and she makes me feel really good. We hit it off last week, and whether or not you think it’s too soon, I know I’m attracted to her. Things between me and Greg have been broken for a long time, something I probably should have told you before, so for that, I’m sorry. Things with Hélène are new, and I’m not even sure how she feels yet. It could be just a flash in the pan.”

“But you don’t want it to be just a flash in the pan, right?” Joy asked, even though it wasn’t really a question.

“Yes, I can feel it’s something more than that and I want to explore it.”

“Then go for it, honey. If it’s going to make you happy, dive right in. All this stuff with Greg will work out. I don’t think you should wait around if you’ve found something worth pursuing—something your father should know all about.”

“Alright, love, I get it. Sorry, I shouldn’t have reacted that way. I think it was just a lot to process in one sitting.”

“I’m just glad I got to tell you. I’ve been a little confused by it all.”

“That’s what we’re here for, doll,” Joy winked. “When do we get to meet her?”

“When I know what the bloody hell is going on between us,” Kim chuckled.

“Well, keep us updated, alright?”

“I will, and you guys call me and let me know when you’ve arrived in the States, okay?”

“We will,” Peter nodded.

“Alright guys, I love you both. I’m going to go grab some breakfast.”

“Bye, love,” they said together.

Kim dropped her phone on the bed and sighed. She’d done it. It was out in the open, and now she could focus on how she was going to face Hélène. She wanted Hélène to know she didn’t regret what she did, and that she was hoping they could do it again.

Kim had to be careful, though. Their week had been full of ups and downs. A lot of emotions had been shared, and Hélène might need convincing Kim wasn’t just going through some sort of post-breakup breakdown.

Kim stopped just inside the door that led to the pool. She rolled her shoulders and moved her head back and forth. Anyone would think she was a prize fighter waiting to enter the ring.

Hélène was sitting at a small table near the back of the deck furthest away from the door and the pool. Kim stood, silently watching as she lifted her coffee cup to her lips—those same lips that had sent fireworks through Kim’s body. She continued to watch as Hélène looked out to sea now and then before dropping her gaze back to the book she was holding with her free hand.

The day was already shaping up to be hot. Hélène had a vest top on over her bikini and a sarong wrapped around her bottom half. One of her legs was perched on the seat opposite her. Kim had an overwhelming urge to walk over, drop to her knees and lick every inch of that golden leg, all the way up to…

“Morning,” a voice boomed, thoroughly ejecting her from the fantasy she was arse deep in. Kim turned her head to see Holly leaning against the stair banister.

“Morning,” Kim parroted back.

“Sleep well?” Holly asked as she pushed herself off the banister towards Kim.

“Like a baby,” Kim answered sweetly. She wasn’t sure why, but there was something about Holly that made her feel uncomfortable. Maybe it was just some residual jealousy from seeing how close she was to Hélène. “You?” she countered.

“Always sleep well when I’m at sea.” Jesus, how long was she going to have to keep up the small talk? “You want some brekky?”

Kim nodded and followed Holly outside. She held her breath slightly, waiting for Hélène to see her. Hélène shifted her head when she heard them walk out. Her eyes flicked to Kim.

“Morning, H,” Kim called.

“Morning, Kim.”

Kim studied her for a second before taking the seat next to her. The table had a plate of croissants and pain au chocolate, plus freshly cut fruit and orange juice.

“God, this looks delish,” Kim chirped. Her stomach rumbled loudly, making her giggle. She glanced at Hélène, who was smiling affectionately at her.

Okay, that’s a good sign .

“What’s on the agenda today, boss?” Holly mumbled through a mouth full of croissant.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, Holly, putain, c’est pas possible ,” Hélène grumbled, her face contorted in disgust. “We have today and tomorrow to relax and then we will moor up to dive. I’ve got this for you.” Hélène looked at Kim, pointing to a book that rested on the table. Kim picked it up. It was a guide to diving.

“It’s full of all the information you will need. It explains the equipment, the terminology, hand signs…” Kim looked from the book to Hélène. Her excitement was endearing. “I mean, you don’t have to read it. I will guide you through your baptême . That is your first dive. In English you call it a baptism. Just a little dunk in the water. I will tell you everything you will need to know. I just thought maybe you would enjoy a bit of extra reading,” she finished eagerly.

“Who the hell likes extra reading?” Holly scoffed, sending a flare of irritation through Kim.

“I do,” she snapped. “Thank you, H, that’s very thoughtful. I’ll demolish this bad boy today so I’ll be ready for you come dive time,” Kim replied with a wink.

“I can help explain anything you don’t understand if you like. There are some maths and physics involved,” Holly blurted, clearly unfazed by Kim’s earlier snap.

Holly looked at Hélène, who had laughed.

“Thanks, Holly, but I think I’ll be okay,” Kim said, gently slapping Hélène’s shoulder to get her to stop laughing.

“Am I missing something?” Holly asked, looking between the two women.

“No, sorry, it’s just the idea of Kim needing any help.”

“Why’s that funny?”

“Because she is ridiculously smart. There is nothing in that book that will remotely test her wonderful brain.”

“You think my brain is wonderful?”

“Yes.”

“I wouldn’t have pegged you for a bookworm.” Holly grinned, looking Kim up and down, her eyes lingering uncomfortably on Kim’s chest.

“And why’s that?” Kim fumed.

“Well, it’s not like you look like one.”

“And what does a ‘bookworm’ look like?”

“You know…geeky glasses, no friends, fugly. Oh God, was that you?” Holly chortled.

Kim stilled. A flashback to her childhood loomed in the front of her mind. People like Holly were the reason she often felt uncomfortable with herself. She was about to open her mouth when she saw Hélène lean forward.

“Holly, I’m not sure what has got into you recently, but your attitude sucks right now. In the space of five minutes, you’ve insulted Kim’s intelligence whilst making yourself look like an ignorant fool. You, yourself, were a ‘bookworm’ when you were younger, glasses included.”

“I was just joking around,” Holly retorted.

“No, you weren’t. You were being purposefully combatant, which is unlike you.”

“Whatever, darl, I’m going to see if Sal needs a hand.”

Kim watched Holly retreat inside. Their interaction had been odd, and Kim was certain there was more behind it than Holly just being playful.

“Sorry about Holly, I really don’t know what has got into her.”

“It’s fine.” For the first time since their kiss, they found themselves alone. Kim studied Hélène’s face, trying to work out how to approach the conversation they most definitely needed to have.

“H, last night I kissed you.”

“Yes, you did.” Hélène shifted in her seat, looking just as surprised as Kim was at herself for being so blunt.

“I want you to know I don’t regret doing it and I’m not having some sort of breakdown. I’m attracted to you, because, well, for one, you look like that.” Kim wagged her finger at Hélène’s body. “And, well, I hoped maybe you had similar feelings. There, I’ve said what I needed to, so you just take your time, mull it over, and get back to me.”

Take your time, mull it over and get back to me?

What the hell was she blabbing on about? She was trying to woo the woman, not sell her fucking car insurance.

“Right,” Hélène muttered.

Jesus, Kim needed to extract herself from this blatant cluster fuck.

“Oh, darn, I…er, forgot my sunglasses,” she both blurted and stuttered as she desperately hauled herself away from the table, knocking her half glass of orange juice all over the fruit. “Bollocks.”

“It’s fine,” Hélène said, scrambling to move things out of the puddle of juice now seeping over the edges of the table. “Kim, really, it’s fine.”

“Sorry,” Kim mumbled, fleeing the scene.

Alright then, that could have gone a tad better.

Kim reached her suite in record time. Her face was the colour of a tomato and her nerves were fried. Everything had been going great apart from Holly’s odd behaviour. She’d been upfront about her desires and had got straight to the heart of the matter. That was, until she panicked midway through her confession, which for some bizarre reason had turned into more of a sales pitch than a confession of the heart.

Oh, let’s not forget the ridiculous attempt to leave, citing “forgotten sunglasses”. Those were the same sunglasses that were on her face the entire time. Last but not least, drowning the table in orange juice.

Smooth, Kim, real smooth .

Well, there was nothing for it. She was just going to hide away in her suite until either she could live down her embarrassment or—the more likely scenario—the world ended.

A knock on her door interrupted her pacing. She could ignore it, right? Apparently not, because whoever was doing the knocking was getting louder by the second. Huffing out a breath, she stomped over to the door. Better to get it over with, she supposed.

She slowly cracked open the door. Hélène stood there with her hands clasped in front of her. She was clearly trying to stop herself from laughing. “Can I come in?”

“Fine.” Kim huffed again, opening the door wider to let Hélène pass. Kim took a deep breath and closed the door. There was no time for embarrassment because as soon as she turned to face Hélène, she was pushed up against the door, Hélène’s face an inch from her own.

“I’m not sorry either,” Hélène whispered, her mouth crashing into Kim’s.

Twelve

T here were probably a hundred reasons this wasn’t a good idea, but Hélène wasn’t willing to listen to any of them, not when her mouth was attached to the most sensual person she had ever met.

Kim was sexy, intelligent, and charismatic. She exuded warmth and joy, and was everything Hélène wanted in a partner. Granted, they were in no way near partner status. In fact, they were in no way near any kind of status, but that didn’t matter. Kissing Kim with her body pinned up against her suite door mattered.

Hélène had taken Kim by surprise. She just couldn’t hold back any longer. The moment she’d seen Kim looking sheepish and adorable as she opened the door, Hélène knew she was going to make a move. How could she not?

Kim had been beyond cute at the breakfast table. Hélène had had to stifle a laugh as she’d watched Kim try to convey her feelings, getting flustered and then making a real cockup of her exit. Even though it had been an amusing sight to see, the only thing Hélène could focus on was Kim had said she was attracted to her and that she had feelings.

That was more than Hélène could ever have hoped for. Considering how brave Kim had been to open herself up like that, Hélène felt it was only fair to talk to Kim and let her know she did, indeed, feel the same.

When Hélène had arrived at Kim’s door, she’d had every intention of doing just that—having a conversation that would hopefully lead to something else at a later date. She did not think she would be pressed up against Kim and her magnificent cleavage.

“Kim?” Hélène panted into her mouth.

“Hmm?” Kim mumbled as she captured Hélène’s mouth again. Kim’s tongue slipped over Hélène’s top lip, extracting a low moan.

“God, you feel good.” Hélène pulled herself back, their lips popping as they parted. “Do you want to talk?” she asked, because as great as their make-out session was, Hélène needed to know Kim was in the right headspace for what they were doing.

Kim brought her hands, which had been pressed against the door to steady herself as they kissed, up to Hélène’s shoulders. She pushed Hélène back a little further, creating a foot of space between them. Hélène held her breath. She was certain she’d just broken the spell and Kim was about to throw her out of the room. Hélène could not have been more wrong, or more taken aback by Kim’s next move.

Without a word, Kim reached up to take out her hair tie. Her platinum locks cascaded down around her shoulders. She mussed her hair with both of her hands, leaving Hélène speechless. The vision of Kim running her hands through her hair whilst holding eye contact with her was almost too much.

Hélène continued to observe Kim without uttering a word or sound. She was completely captivated by this woman. She saw Kim steady herself, parting her legs slightly, resting her back against the door. Hélène ran her gaze down the length of Kim’s scantily clad body.

Thank Christ for bikinis .

Hélène’s attention was brought back to Kim’s face as she felt a hand cup under her chin, forcing her head up. Still, Kim remained silent. Her eyes were almost entirely black, her pupils blown open with want. Hélène took some quick breaths, wondering what the hell was going to happen next.

What did happen next was beyond her imagination or any fantasy she could concoct. Kim trailed her hand down herself, starting from her clavicle, brushing her fingers lightly against her skin, lingering momentarily over her left breast, never breaking eye contact. Kim’s hand continued its downward trajectory until she reached the hem of her bikini bottoms, her fingers skimming just underneath, causing Hélène’s breath to hitch.

Hélène couldn’t keep her eyes from following those fingers all the way to her left hip, where Kim plucked at the string that was knotted to keep the garment on her body. She watched as Kim repeated the same action on her right side. Then she watched as it fell from her body, leaving Hélène with a view that could only be described as heaven on earth.

Sun-kissed and smooth, Kim stood tall and proud as she confidently exhibited her toned and curved body. Hélène hadn’t taken her eyes from the almost white hair that nestled between Kim’s legs. She felt her mouth water and was only partially aware of Kim reaching up to discard her bikini top.

Hélène felt the familiar touch of Kim’s hand under her chin, pulling her gaze back to those mesmerising blue eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but was silenced by a single finger pressed to her lips. Hélène snapped her mouth shut and waited.

Kim brushed her finger across Hélène’s lip, down her neck and across her shoulder. That’s when Hélène understood what was about to happen and she was almost positive Kim was the woman of her dreams.

Hélène felt pressure on her shoulder, pushing her down. Hélène complied, dropping to her knees in front of Kim. She looked up, waiting for her next instructions. Kim snaked her hand around Hélène’s neck, gently squeezing, divulging exactly what she wanted.

Hélène looked up into those captivating eyes one last time before she dropped her gaze to the object of her want. Kim shifted, draping her left leg over Hélène’s shoulder. Hélène leaned forward and gently rested her face against Kim’s mound. Her breath skimmed over Kim’s clit; her nose buried in Kim’s curls. She saw Kim clench as Hélène’s breath sent shock waves of pleasure through her pussy.

“I’m going to worship you,” she whispered, before taking Kim fully into her mouth.

Hélène wrapped her hands around Kim’s thighs to bring her closer so she could drive her tongue deeper. She felt possessed. Every lick and suck delicious, but not enough to satisfy her greed. Hélène felt every pulse of Kim’s pleasure, every twinge of desire as she ran her tongue from Kim’s entrance to her swollen clit.

“Yes,” Kim gasped as Hélène sucked her clit again and again. “Right there.” Hélène needed more. She needed to be inside her. She needed to feel Kim envelop her fingers as her walls clamped down with pure pleasure.

Hélène released one of Kim’s thighs, bringing her fingers to Kim’s pussy, drenching them in the liquid that covered her mouth and chin. She slid two fingers in with ease. Kim bucked her hips as she adjusted to the fresh sensation.

After several moments, Hélène thrust harder and deeper. The pressure from Kim’s hand on the back of her head intensified, telling her she was doing exactly what Kim needed her to do.

Kim’s hips had taken on a life of their own as her orgasm built rapidly. Hélène was no longer in charge of the pace. She let Kim fuck her face and ride her fingers until she heard Kim’s breath falter as a scream of sheer elation consumed the room.

“Jesus Christ.” Kim steadied herself against the door, letting her leg drop from Hélène’s shoulder. Hélène remained kneeling. Her mouth rested on Kim’s mound again. She needed a few seconds to soak in everything that had just happened. She wanted to etch every moment of that experience into her memory.

Time passed in silence, neither of them wanting to break the moment. Hélène could feel her own need pulse between her legs. She couldn’t recall ever being so turned on. It would have to wait, though. She needed to have Kim again. Hélène grasped Kim’s hips and looked up. Kim leaned her head back against the door.

Hélène watched, fixated on Kim’s chest, which was still rising rapidly. The beauty of Kim’s breasts almost made her groan out loud. She rose swiftly from her knees up Kim’s torso, her mouth capturing one of Kim’s nipples whilst her hand caressed the other. Hélène felt Kim’s stance change. She felt hands clutch her hips, pulling her closer.

“Bed,” Hélène growled. Kim pushed herself off the door and walked Hélène backwards toward the bed. Her legs hit the edge, forcing her to sit down.

“My turn,” Kim whispered into her ear, causing her to clench her thighs. After the last few minutes, Hélène was sure she wouldn’t take long to reach orgasm. “Tell me what you want.” Kim leaned into Hélène, ushering her back so she was lying down.

“I want you between my legs,” Hélène replied as she pulled herself further up the bed until her head rested on the pillows at the top. Kim crawled her way up the bed, her eyes fixed on Hélène’s.

“You have too many clothes on.” Kim reached for Hélène’s bikini bottoms and tugged them down, throwing them unceremoniously to the floor. Hélène watched as Kim surveyed her pussy, instinctively licking her lips. Kim obviously wanted to taste her, but Hélène wanted something else.

“Take my top off,” she ordered. Kim’s gaze flicked up to Hélène. She looked as if she was deciding whether she wanted to protest Hélène’s command.

Hélène was far from dominant in bed. For most of her dalliances she would go along with whatever her partner wanted, but with Kim she had the overwhelming need to have Kim’s clit pressed against her own.

She briefly worried Kim wouldn’t enjoy Hélène’s demanding tone. The last thing she wanted was for Kim to feel uncomfortable. Hélène could have kicked herself as it occurred to her that Kim had just broken up with someone because they’d tried to control her. Fuck . Hélène desperately tried to read Kim’s facial expressions. She almost cried out in happiness when she saw a wide smile radiate from Kim’s face.

Kim leaned in, whipping off Hélène’s tank top before reaching around her neck to untie her bikini top. The garment was quickly discarded. Kim then leaned back on her knees between Hélène’s legs, her eyes roaming over Hélène’s naked body.

“You’re beautiful.”

Hélène blushed. She wasn’t someone who handled compliments well under normal circumstances. A compliment coming from someone as breathtaking as Kim felt unbelievable. Her face must have conveyed her feelings, because a slight frown graced Kim’s perfect face. “Hey,” she squeezed Hélène’s thighs to get her full attention, “you are beautiful.”

“Come here.” Hélène reached for Kim, spreading her legs wide, allowing Kim to slip between them so she was lying over her completely.

A low groan escaped Kim. “Fuck, you feel good.” Kim licked down Hélène’s throat.

“Spread me.” For the first time since they had started, Kim looked unsure of herself. Hélène reached down between them, spreading open her lips. Kim followed her every move.

“Now you,” Hélène whispered.

Kim’s nimble fingers moved gently. She lifted herself a little to allow her hand to stroke down her slit, spreading herself open as she went.

Hélène’s free hand gently grasped Kim’s arse, wasting no time pulling her back down so their clits were touching. Kim let out an audible gasp. Hélène drew in a sharp breath.

“I’ve never done this before.” Kim spoke so softly, Hélène had almost missed what she had said.

“Are you uncomfortable?”

“No, not at all, it just feels…I just feel—”

Hélène cut her off by drawing Kim’s head down into a scorching kiss. Kim’s hips immediately started rocking into Hélène’s. The feeling was deliciously intense. Hélène already knew she would come quickly. She’d been so turned on it was unlikely she would last even a couple of minutes.

“Oh, my—” Kim gasped.

Hélène took Kim’s head into her hands. “Look at me,” she said with ragged breaths. “Look at me while we come together.”

Kim didn’t reply. She simply nodded as she struggled to keep her eyes open.

“Hélène.”

“Yes…yes, Kim, keep going.”

“I can’t hold on,” Kim cried. Her hips were rocking furiously, her arms shaking as her body relented to her orgasm.

Hélène’s own pleasure was building so strongly she thought she would pass out. In a moment of pure ecstasy, Hélène felt a clarity of mind like never before. She felt as if she were floating above herself. Her brain and body felt nothing but absolute rapture as she came loudly and with abandon. Blood pulsed through her ears as she regained her senses. She looked at Kim, who had collapsed to her chest, her breathing heavy and deep.

“Are you okay?” she asked, lifting Kim’s head with her hands that were still clutching the side of Kim’s face.

“That…” Kim panted.

“Was divine,” Hélène finished.

Kim nodded her head in agreement. “I’ve never come so hard before or so fast,” Kim said, letting out a breathy laugh.

Hélène smiled at her. She should tell Kim she, too, had never come so hard, but she wouldn’t, in fear of everything else she was feeling tumbling out.

Hélène had felt something break open inside her as she’d climaxed, something that was terrifying because she was guaranteed to get hurt if she dared speak it out loud.

A warm breeze licked Hélène’s skin, stirring her from a most delightful sleep. She stretched her body, which ached, reminding her of what had transpired earlier. Her eyes whipped open at the memory of her and Kim together. Her head instinctively turned to look for Kim, but she was gone. Hélène’s heart rate picked up. A sense of dread seeped through her veins.

Willing herself to remain calm, she propped her body up against the headboard. She just needed a few moments to compose herself before she went looking for Kim. If Kim had decided what they’d done was a mistake, Hélène would be devastated, but she would also have to respect Kim’s wishes.

The sound of the balcony door interrupted her dark thoughts. Kim stepped through, wrapped in the sheer robe she had been wearing earlier. Hélène’s heartbeat was dangerously high as she waited to see what Kim would say.

“You sleep like the dead,” Kim chuckled. The levity in her voice washed over Hélène like a cleansing bath.

“You wore me out,” Hélène replied, allowing herself to breathe normally for the first time since she had woken to an empty bed.

“Clearly. Who knew you were such a lightweight?” Kim smirked.

Hélène saw Kim’s eyes slip down to her chest. Under Kim’s gaze, Hélène suddenly felt self-conscious. It was different when they were in the throes of passion, but now, in the cold light of day, Hélène worried Kim wouldn’t look at her with the same adoration.

Reflexively, she drew the sheet up to cover herself. After a few silent moments, Hélène cleared her throat. “Maybe we should talk about what happened?”

“Probably.” Kim walked over to the bed, where she sat looking at the floor. Hélène understood she needed a little time to arrange her thoughts. What they had done couldn’t be taken lightly. Hélène never took sex lightly. Yes, it could be fun, and a great way to blow off steam, but it still involved two people with emotions.

“Can I start?” she asked.

Kim turned her head slightly. “Yes, of course.”

“I need you to know, for me, it wasn’t a mistake. I am very attracted to you, Kim, and what we did was beyond anything I could dream.”

Kim puffed out a breath. “Wow, okay,” she stated. “I don’t regret it either, Hélène. I told you this morning that I am attracted to you.”

“Okay, so why do I feel there is more going on? You wear your emotions on your face, Kim. It’s adorable, really.”

“I wasn’t honest with you, well, I was, but I don’t think you quite understood at the time,” Kim began. Her eyes were wide, and she was looking uncomfortable.

Hélène stilled in the bed. What had she lied about? Oh fuck, was she still with Greg? Hélène was no cheat. She would never get involved with someone that was attached.

“You need to tell me, Kim, because my mind is coming up with things that are frankly terrifying.”

“Oh, no, no, don’t panic, it’s not that bad, well, I hope not.”

“Okay, can you just tell me?”

Kim straightened her shoulders, gearing herself up. “Okay, so when we were…you know…” Kim gestured with her head, her finger pointing between them.

“When we were having sex,” Hélène supplied.

“Yes…well, I told you I’d never done that before.”

“Didn’t you like it? Oh God.”

“No, I loved it, Hélène. It was like nothing I have ever experienced before. Can you stop interrupting and let me finish?”

“Sorry,” Hélène mumbled.

“What I meant was that I’d done none of that before, with a woman, I mean.”

“Okay,” Hélène breathed. If that was the only thing Kim wanted to confess, she would be over the moon.

“You’re not bothered?” Kim was clearly surprised by Hélène’s lack of reaction.

“Of course I’m bothered, but not in the way you probably think. I’m honoured to have been your first experience with a woman. I pray it lived up to your expectations. Kim, you’re a grown woman. I don’t believe you would have slept with me if you didn’t want to. I was more worried that you have only just split from Greg and now we are doing this.”

“I have a lot of feelings at the minute. A lot has happened recently. I can’t argue with that, but I don’t want you to think that you’re some kind of experiment or rebound. You’re so much more than that.”

“I must admit, it’s nice to hear you say that. Where do we go from here?”

“I honestly don’t know. I have things to work through, but I really, really enjoyed what we did earlier.”

“Me, too.”

“Could we just carry on as we have been? Enjoy spending time together, getting to know one another on this beautiful boat?”

“You didn’t answer the part about the sex living up to your expectations,” Hélène said earnestly.

Kim reached out and took her hand. “You do not know how far beyond my expectations that was, Hélène.”

Relief washed over her. She wanted Kim to revel in the experience. The first time with a woman was precious and Kim deserved to be treated like the goddess she was. Plus, Hélène was only human. Her ego needed to be placated, too.

“Okay, good. I would like to enjoy our time together, but what happens when I want to kiss you again? Because I’m going to want to kiss you again, Kim.”

“Then you kiss me. I would just like us to take our time.”

“Of course, you set the pace.”

“Thank you.” Kim shifted a little further up the bed toward Hélène. “I don’t think you really need this.” She tugged the sheet down from Hélène’s body. Hélène smiled widely. She liked this pace. She liked it a lot.

“Come here.” She gestured for Kim to lie over her. “I have a lot of things to show you,” she grinned. Oh, yes, she had plenty of things she was going to show this wonderful woman.

Thirteen

T his was the second time that Kim had woken before Hélène. The first was after Hélène had blown Kim’s mind with breathtaking sex. Her initial reaction when she’d woken the first time had been to panic as she’d looked down at Hélène sleeping soundly.

Panic because it was the first time Kim had slept with a woman, panic because she’d jumped into bed with someone just after leaving her long-term boyfriend, and panic because she had no idea how the woman sleeping next to her would react when she woke.

After watching Hélène for a few minutes longer, Kim had had to get some space so she could get some perspective. The last thing she wanted was for Hélène to think she’d done a runner, so the only safe place to go was the balcony. Far enough from Hélène to think clearly, but not so far she looked as if she were trying to escape.

The sun had been high in the sky when she’d sat down in one of the chairs just outside her suite. Hélène was obviously a deep sleeper, because Kim had made more than enough noise to wake her as she’d made coffee and grabbed a leftover pastry to nibble on. She’d worked up an appetite. The thought made her grin like the Cheshire Cat.

Kim needed to organise her thoughts. Number one on her list was to examine how she felt about sleeping with a woman for the first time. Kim had dated one other person in her life apart from Greg, a girl called Heather, but that had been when she was in high school, so other than a few pecks on the lips, her only experience had been with Greg.

Sex had never been an issue with Greg. They were compatible. It wasn’t earth-shattering, but it was good. Kim hadn’t spent any time fantasising about sleeping with a woman because she’d been happy with her boyfriend. When things between her and Greg had soured, she could admit she’d thought about women more often.

Sleeping with Hélène had been a complete surprise. Admitting her feelings had been the first big step. She’d hoped Hélène would reciprocate how she felt, but having her turn up at her suite and take her so goddamn thoroughly had been astounding.

Also, to Kim’s complete shock, she’d been the one to take the lead. Guiding Hélène down to her knees, demanding she ate her out, was very much out of character for Kim.

Greg had always initiated sex. They’d always followed the same pattern, that being Greg feeling up her boobs before entering her. Foreplay hadn’t been very important to them, but now Kim realised she’d been missing out.

After several minutes of correlating all that information, Kim concluded she was very much okay with her first experience being with Hélène. The pleasure she’d experienced was indescribable; plus, she’d felt safe and in control.

The next area of her discomfort was how she’d slept with Hélène without considering Greg. They’d been together for a long time. They’d shared all their achievements and life goals with each other. Yes, Greg had crossed a line and Kim knew she couldn’t go back to being his life partner, but that didn’t stop her from feeling she’d effectively dumped him and moved on.

How could she reconcile the fact she was so attracted to Hélène she’d been unable to stop herself from touching her and being touched, with the fact she still cared about Greg? She wasn’t in love with him, but she also didn’t want him to be hurt by her actions.

As she’d sat thinking about it on the balcony, she’d realised that issue needed time. She just hoped that Hélène would be okay with it. Speaking of, would Hélène be okay with everything they’d done?

As she’d swallowed the last dregs of her coffee, she’d noticed the time. Kim had sat on the balcony for almost an hour, thinking. The rustling of bed sheets had alerted her to Hélène waking.

Steeling herself, she’d gone back into the suite to find Hélène sat upright with the sheet barely covering her body. Kim had had to stop herself from flinging her body at the French beauty once again. Thankfully, she’d controlled herself and they’d talked.

Hélène regretted nothing and was happy to go at a pace Kim set. She hadn’t even reacted strongly to her being Kim’s first sexual experience with a woman. Once they’d finished talking, Kim’s resolve had shattered. The sight of Hélène lying there, naked and wonderfully tousled, had been too much, so Kim had started another round of life-altering sex.

So, here she was again, staring down at Hélène’s perfect body. This time, however, she felt no panic, only the remnants of the pleasure she’d experienced an hour earlier. Kim looked at the time. They’d been locked in her suite for going on six hours. They’d missed lunch completely, and it made Kim wonder if Holly and the others had noticed their absence, or worse, heard them going at it.

Slipping out of bed, Kim headed for the bathroom to clean up. It wasn’t the best idea to wake Hélène before she had the chance to shower and dress because she knew they would end up fucking in the shower and then probably again after. As much as Kim wanted to—and boy, did her body want that—she really did want them to take it slow.

Yes, they were explosive between the sheets. Their chemistry was incomparable, but they needed time to get to know each other. They’d had plenty of discussions over the past week, but Kim recognised there was still a lot more to learn.

Kim also needed to know whether Hélène was going to be okay with Greg. Whatever happened between them, he was always going to be in her life in some way or another and Hélène had to be on board with that.

The warm water of the shower caressed her skin. Her body ached, but she was sated and happy. She took her time washing and drying her hair, applying a little light makeup before donning the bikini she had stripped off hours earlier. Hélène was still out for the count, which made Kim laugh out loud. It made her wonder how much noise she could actually get away with making before Hélène would finally be disturbed.

As she pondered the idea of putting on some music to test her theory, there was a knock on her door. Kim positioned herself so that Hélène would be out of sight when she opened it up to whoever was on the other side.

“Hi, Kim.” Of course it was Holly on the other side of the door. Who else? If Kim were a petty person, she would have shut the door in her face, but alas, she was a mature adult. Holly’s behaviour toward her had been out of line this morning, especially considering they didn’t even know each other, and to Kim’s knowledge, had done nothing to warrant it.

“Hi, Holly, what’s up?”

“Have you seen Hélène?”

“She’s asleep,” Kim said curtly. Why should she pander to a bully? She also wouldn’t hide the fact she and Hélène were more than just friends now, either.

“Oh, okay, could you get her to go to the bridge when she’s awake? We’re going to be docking off Corsica soon and she wanted to talk to the captain before they dropped anchor.”

“I’ll tell her, thanks.” Kim gave a tight smile as she softly closed the door.

Putting her ill feelings towards Holly aside, Kim made her way over to the bed. Hélène was lying on her front with her head buried between the pillows. Kim found it miraculous the woman could still breathe.

“H,” she cooed gently as she rubbed Hélène’s back. She repeated her ministrations with no success. Kim laughed again. Hélène was too fucking adorable. “Hélène,” she called louder. “Doll, you’ve got to wake up.” Kim shook Hélène’s shoulder repeatedly until she finally got a response.

“Mmmmm,” Hélène groaned sleepily, causing another chuckle to escape Kim.

“Come on, sleepyhead, you have to see the captain. We’ve arrived in Corsica.”

“Two more minutes,” Hélène grumbled, pushing her head further into the pillows. Kim took an exasperated breath. She had to do something drastic because at this rate, she would still be trying to get Hélène out of bed at nightfall.

“H, you have ten seconds to roll over and open your eyes or there will be consequences.” Hélène grunted, leaving Kim no choice. “Okay, you asked for it,” she sang as she made her way over to the fridge to retrieve a bottle of water. It was going to soak the sheets, but Hélène was stubbornly refusing to wake up.

In point-five seconds, Hélène flew out of bed as the water Kim poured out of the bottle hit her square in the head. “Putain bordel ,” she cried, staggering to get her balance.

“I’m sorry, H, but you left me no choice.” Hélène stood naked as the day she was born, with water dripping down her neck. If Kim wasn’t slightly terrified at the look in Hélène’s eyes, she would have laughed.

“You’re going to pay for that.”

Kim did not like the gleam in Hélène’s eye. “Now hold on a minute—” Kim held her palms raised up in surrender, “you forced me to do it.” She backed away from Hélène, who had a maniacal grin etched on her face.

Kim rounded the bed as Hélène stalked her with the grace of a lioness stalking its prey. “H, I’ve just done my makeup,” Kim pleaded because she knew exactly what kind of punishment Hélène was going to deliver, and she was very turned on by it.

Her pleas fell on deaf ears as Hélène launched herself at Kim, causing them to tumble onto the bed, both of them laughing wildly. It was safe to say Hélène was late visiting the captain, and Kim had to shower and reapply her makeup.

After Hélène departed to speak to the captain, Kim took the diving book Hélène gave her to read by the pool. It didn’t take her long to be completely lost in the text. The book explained all the different aspects of diving, including the pieces of equipment Hélène had brushed over when they had shopped in Saint-Tropez.

Kim was especially taken with the theory side of it. She thoroughly enjoyed learning about dive times at different depths. Hélène had been right this morning; the physics and math involved were ridiculously easy for Kim, and, in no time, she could calculate how long they could dive on a tank of air at different depths.

She was testing her memory retention when Hélène stepped out of the sliding doors. “Hey.” Hélène had a bright smile lighting up her face.

“Hey, you, did you get everything sorted with the ol’ cap-i-tain?”

Hélène chuckled. “Yes, we are anchoring just off Corsica at a place called Calvi. Have you heard of it?”

“Sorry, no, I’m a bit shit with French geography outside of Paris,” Kim confessed.

“That’s fine. I’ll enjoy teaching you,” Hélène winked.

Kim was pleased they could carry on as normal. She’d worried having sex would change their dynamic and make things awkward, but so far, it was business as usual. Well, not quite; now they were free to ogle each other openly and steal kisses.

“Oh, yes, I am an outstanding student.”

“Lesson number one, then,” Hélène said, grabbing Kim’s hand, dragging her out of the chair and through the doors Hélène had just exited, “you need to know where we are, so let’s take a peek at a map.”

They made their way up the stairs to the top deck. A table sat in the centre of the room with several maps strewn across. The captain sat in his chair at the front, scanning the horizon. Kim was impressed with all the equipment laid out in front of him. It made her wonder how long it would take someone to learn to captain a vessel of this size.

“Here, look.” Hélène gestured to a map she had rolled out, covering the others. Kim bent over the table to look. Sure enough, it was a map of Corsica with a red cross jotted just off the north coast. “We are here.” Hélène pointed to the cross. “We will eventually traverse the entire west coast of the island, stopping to dive several times.” Kim nodded in silent understanding. “I’ve started us off in Calvi because it’s a great place for you to learn to dive. Look.” She pointed, drawing Kim’s eyes to the place Hélène’s delicious finger rested. Stop it , she chastised herself. Hélène was trying to teach her something, and all she could do was lust after the woman’s talented fingers.

“This is Calvi, and this is the Citadel. It’s beautiful at night. The entire Citadel and the surrounding cliffs are lit up with coloured lights. If you want to see it, we can have dinner tonight on the observation deck?”

“Yes, please, that sounds wonderful.” Hélène beamed at Kim’s response, eliciting a wide smile in return. Hélène cleared her throat and tore her eyes away from Kim, which left her feeling disappointed.

“So, my plan is for us to complete your baptême at the base of the Citadel. It’s a perfect place for you to learn. Once I’m confident and you’re confident, we can dive deeper. There is a sunken bomber plane that lies around twenty-seven metres down. I think that after a few dives, you could handle it.”

“You haven’t seen me dive yet. I could be terrible.” Kim’s nerves were bubbling to the surface. Learning to scuba dive was wonderful, and she was more than excited, but she was also worried about letting Hélène down if she wasn’t a natural. Hélène was clearly passionate about the sport and Kim wanted more than anything to share in that passion.

“Stop worrying. I have a gut feeling you’re going to be great,” Hélène replied reassuringly.

“Okay, well, I’ll do anything you ask.” Kim spoke before realising how that sounded. She could see that Hélène’s mind had gone to the same place because she smirked and raised one of her perfect eyebrows. “You know what I mean,” Kim whispered playfully, shoving Hélène’s shoulder.

“I know what you mean,” Hélène laughed. “I saw you were reading the book I gave you. How did you find it?”

“Oh, it was fascinating, thank you. I finished it just before you came to get me.”

“You finished the whole thing?”

“Yes, I’m a fast reader.” Kim smiled. Little did Hélène know how fast she really was. Kim devoured books. Her parents had encouraged her to read as much as possible when she was small, and when it became clear Kim was gifted, they did everything in their power to encourage Kim’s learning.

“Great, do you want to go grab a cocktail and let me test you?”

“Bring it on.” Kim wiggled her eyebrows, making Hélène laugh and roll her eyes playfully. They headed back down to the pool and sat at the table that had been set up for breakfast earlier in the day.

“Okay, let’s run through some hand signals,” Hélène began. Her posture said she was all business.

“Hit me.”

“Okay, what does this mean?” Hélène clenched her hand into a fist, leaving her thumb sticking out, pointing it down.

“That means that we are going to submerge.”

“Correct, next…” Hélène spread her hand out with her palm facing down, moving her wrist back and forth and causing her hand to look like a seesaw.

“That means that there is a problem. You would make that sign and then point to the thing that is causing an issue. So, for example, I would make the sign and then point to my head if I had a headache or to my leg if I had a cramp.”

“Perfect. You really are a fast learner,” Hélène chimed.

“It’s fun to learn,” Kim supplied.

“Okay, let’s go over some other important things you need to learn.” Kim nodded. She was having a lot of fun.

Over the space of several hours, Hélène took Kim through the book, making sure she understood everything. Kim was more than impressed with Hélène’s knowledge.

They briefly separated so they could dress for dinner. Hélène informed her it would be a casual affair, but Kim still attempted to look good. She couldn’t help wanting Hélène’s attention focused solely on her.

The view of Calvi and the Citadel was breathtaking. Multicoloured lights lit up the Citadel and the cliff it stood upon. Kim was in heaven as she sat on a comfy sofa with Hélène, gazing out over the city, piña colada in hand.

They’d continued to talk about diving, with Kim throwing questions at Hélène now and then. Kim learned Hélène had been scuba diving since she was sixteen and she was commercially licenced to teach diving, which made sense considering her dream was to open her own dive centre.

Over the course of the evening, David and Leo joined them. Kim sat back and listened to them discuss the first dive, which was scheduled for first thing in the morning. Holly waltzed over several minutes after David and Leo, looking as if she’d already had a few to drink.

“What are we talking about?” Holly questioned, slurring slightly.

“Just planning Kim’s baptême tomorrow. Will you be joining us?” Hélène was a little colder than usual.

“I’m surprised,” Holly began.

“Surprised with what?” Kim interrupted. Her gut feeling was telling her Holly was about to ruin their wonderful evening.

“Surprised Hélène can keep her head out of your pussy long enough to do some fucking diving.”

The silence that encompassed the observation deck was potent. Holly’s remark had left Kim breathless in the most horrible of ways. She chanced a look at Hélène, whose face was so severe it scared Kim a little.

“What did you just say?” Hélène seethed.

“I’m fucking about. Calm down,” Holly said, backtracking. She knew she’d just fucked up royally.

“Repeat what you just said,” Hélène barked.

“I was joking. C’mon, Hélène, you used to laugh at the stupid shit I say.” Holly squirmed in her seat.

“Répète maintenant .”

Holly’s eyes darted from one person to the next. “I said I was surprised you could keep your head out of Kim’s pussy long enough to dive.” Her delivery was flat.

“And you think that is an appropriate way to talk to me and my guest?” Hélène was almost shouting. “Get out of my sight, Holly. Go to your cabin and sober up. I will deal with you tomorrow. Comprendre ?”

“I’m sorry, Hélène, please. I was thoughtless…my stupid sense of humour, that’s all.”

“No, Holly, you don’t get to use that excuse this time. I will find you tomorrow. Now leave.” Holly cast one more gaze around the people staring at her before leaving. Kim sat silently, not knowing how to handle the situation.

“Kim,” Hélène said cautiously, “I’m so very sorry for that. I have no excuse to give for such poor behaviour.”

“It’s not your fault, H.” She hated the pained look Hélène now sported.

“You are my guest on this boat and should not have to deal with such an unsavoury character as the one Holly has displayed this evening.”

Kim looked at David and Leo, who were both looking at their feet. She needed to turn the night around. She was damned if she was going to let Holly spoil it for them all.

“Thank you for saying that. Now, I, for one, could do with a top-up. David, would you do the honours, kind sir?”

“Of course, my dear lady.” David stood and gave Kim a little bow and a wink.

“Leo, could you put a bit of music on? I feel the need to dance.”

“Sí ,” Leo shouted enthusiastically. Kim turned to Hélène, who was watching her curiously.

“Hélène, can you let go of what just happened? For me? Tomorrow, I’m putting myself in your capable hands, but I’m still a little nervous. I need to unwind tonight and have fun so I don’t take any kind of negativity with me underwater. Can you do that for me? Relax and enjoy the evening?” Kim watched as Hélène studied her silently. Kim waited patiently for Hélène to decide. After several silent moments, Hélène let her chest deflate. She reached for her drink and downed it entirely.

“Care to boogie?”

Kim’s head rocked backwards as she laughed loudly in relief. “Who the hell says ‘boogie’ nowadays?”

“I do,” Hélène replied, sticking out her tongue.

“Yes, Hélène, I would love to dance.” They made their way over to the centre of the observation deck, where Leo was already gyrating alone. They applauded his effort and danced right alongside him.

The music pumped, vibrating through Kim’s body. She watched as Hélène let herself dance without care. This woman utterly dazzled her. She had to keep her wits about her because she knew it would be far too easy to lose herself in Hélène DuBois.

Fourteen

T he sun was just making an appearance over the horizon as Hélène made her way through the boat to the wheelhouse. It was a habit she had formed over the years.

“Hélène, good morning.”

“Good morning, Bobby. How’s it looking out there today?”

“Like paradise, as usual, Hélène.”

“A good day to dive, then?” Hélène already knew the answer. She’d been awake an hour already to do her pre-dive checks, and she’d studied the weather fastidiously to make sure conditions would be perfect for Kim’s baptême . She certainly wasn’t above cancelling the dive if the weather would be anything but perfect. Thankfully, this morning’s report informed her it was going to be a calm day with little wind.

“You know it, kiddo. You champing at the bit to get in the water?” he chuckled, knowing her far too well.

“God, yes,” she laughed. “It feels like an eternity since I’ve been down there.”

“How do you think Kim will do?” Hélène loved how Bobby paid attention to the guests she brought on board. He always made sure they felt welcome. Hopefully, Hélène could spend some time with him and Kim before they departed for home.

Bobby was in his late fifties and had joined Connie as her captain when JJ had purchased her. Bobby and her father were friends from school, although Bobby was a few years younger than her dad. The great thing about him was he was nothing like Philippe DuBois in that Bobby was affectionate and kind. Philippe could barely pass as cordial most days.

“We’ll see when we’re out there, but I’m confident.” Hélène knew Kim would succeed. It was just how she was. She excelled at everything she did, in Hélène’s opinion.

“Is it the same crew diving?”

Hélène hesitated before speaking. On a normal day, Hélène would dive with Leo, David, and Holly, but after last night’s performance, Hélène didn’t think she could be within a few metres of Holly because she wanted to rip her fucking head off.

Hélène had been mortified when Holly belligerently spewed her venomous words in front of Kim last night. She had absolutely no idea what the hell had gotten into her friend. No doubt they would have words, but Hélène couldn’t focus on that right now. The most important thing for her to do was make sure Kim’s baptême went off without a hitch, and for that to happen, Hélène had to have her head firmly in the game.

The dive wasn’t due to happen for a couple of hours, but there was plenty to do before then. Leo and David had stowed the gear onto the Zodiac mounted to the back of Connie . Hélène had already checked and rechecked their breathing apparatuses, vests, and tanks. It was likely she would check them several more times before they hit the water.

Her primary goal was to make Kim feel comfortable and safe. Scuba diving was a sensational experience, and Hélène hoped Kim would get as much out of it as she had when she’d first started.

Hélène scanned the water one more time through the giant window before saying her goodbyes to Bobby and heading down to the dining room. David had already asked the kitchen staff to provide a healthy and light breakfast for them all.

Hélène had told Kim the time she needed her to be ready, which was quickly approaching. Pushing through the doors to the dining room, Hélène was surprised to see Holly sitting at the table and eating breakfast, her wetsuit hanging around her waist.

“Are you kidding me?” Hélène spat, her anger from last night returning in force.

“No, it’s no joke. I know we need to talk about my behaviour last night and we will. You can scream and shout all you want. I know I deserve it, but for now, we need to put it on the back burner. We always dive together on Connie . It’s been that way for years, and I will not tank our tradition just because I was an arsehole.”

“There is no need for you to come along.”

“No, you’re right, there isn’t a practical need, but that doesn’t matter. Our issues will be dealt with later. Please don’t freeze me out. It’s the first dive of the trip. You know how special that is.”

“Our issues?”

“My issues,” Holly conceded.

“I’m not sure Kim will want you around either, to be frank. I think she’s had quite enough of your unwarranted outbursts against her. Today is supposed to be fun and relaxing. How the hell is she supposed to do that with you there?”

“I have already been to her cabin, Hélène. I have apologised profusely and assured her I will never again speak out of turn like that.”

Hélène stood for a second, deliberating her next words. “Fine, if Kim is okay with it you can come, but you will stay on the boat. Whether or not you have apologised, Kim will still be on edge with you, and I can’t afford that when she is trying to learn.”

“Fine, no problem, and then after the dive, we’ll talk,” Holly stated, more than asked. Hélène could agree to those terms. They had been friends for a long time, and Hélène desperately wanted some answers.

With a curt nod, Hélène took the seat opposite Holly and ate her breakfast. A few minutes later, David and Leo sat down, their wetsuits also hanging around their waists. Under normal circumstances, Hélène would be happy to see her friends sitting around the table, excited about the first dive, but this morning was proving to be difficult.

Holly had really upset Hélène with her outbursts and she was struggling to find her equilibrium. That was, until Kim swayed into the room like a goddamn angel. Hélène couldn’t stop her face from lighting up, even if she tried.

Holly had put a downer on everything, but one look at Kim’s beautiful face made everything alright again. Hélène was momentarily lost in her memories of their early hour activities together—back to the hours of touching, licking, and kissing.

“Morning, all,” Kim chirped, shifting her gaze from one person to the next to make sure they knew she was talking to them all, even Holly.

“Buongiorno ,” Leo returned, raising his glass of water up to Kim.

“Morning,” David mumbled—he was worse than Hélène at waking up in the morning. His grumble didn’t seem to faze Kim as she lowered herself into the chair next to Hélène, laughing.

“Not a morning person, David?” she teased.

“Mmm,” was the only response she got, which made her laugh more.

“Morning, you,” Kim said, a little quieter to Hélène when she’d stopped laughing.

“Morning. How did you sleep?”

“Wonderfully. For some reason, I was tuckered out,” she winked. Hélène grinned and blushed. She shot a quick look at her tablemates to see if they were listening. The only person looking at her was Holly, but she quickly averted her eyes when Hélène’s gaze caught hers.

“Well, I hope you’re good and rested. You’ll be tuckered out again by the end of the day. It can be quite taxing when you first dive.”

“I’m ready and raring to go.” Kim grabbed for a banana. Her body looked as if it twitched with excitement.

The group sat for another half an hour before Leo and David excused themselves to prepare the diving boat.

“Okay, let’s go. I sat all your gear on the deck. We will get you ready and then go over some ground rules, okay?” Hélène had to put herself into work mode. She couldn’t afford to be distracted by Kim and her orgasm-inducing body, currently covered by a black one-piece suit, but still showing off all of her best assets.

Hélène helped Kim with her wetsuit. The scene was just as funny as the day she’d tried to put it on in the shop. Kim, looking all flustered, was sexy as hell.

Keep it in your pants, DuBois .

“Okay, so the wetsuit is on, finally,” Hélène teased. “How are you feeling?”

“Good, now that bit’s over with,” Kim huffed.

“Okay, next I’m going to take you over your equipment. I have already attached your vest to your tank and fitted the breathing equipment, but I would still like you to get into the habit of checking it yourself.”

“Gotcha!”

“First, check that the tank is secured to your vest.” Kim leaned down and tugged on the tank. “Seems okay?” she said unconvincingly.

“The best way to check is to grab the top of your vest and lift. If the tank is properly attached, there will be no movement. If the tank slips at all, it means the strap needs tightening.”

Kim gave a nod and lifted the vest. “Holy cow, how heavy is this thing?”

Hélène laughed. “You know how heavy it is, but I understand that knowing the weight and feeling it for yourself is quite different. Remember, it’s easier in the water.”

“It better be,” Kim grumbled playfully.

“So the tank is secure. Now, we want to make sure all the tubes to the breathing apparatus are secured. The best way to do that is to open up the tank, allowing air through. Once that’s done, we are going to inflate the vest a little, making sure the system is working whilst also checking the amount of air in your tank.”

Hélène pointed Kim to the areas she needed to check when the tank was opened. She explained as much as she could, and in as much detail as possible, knowing Kim would appreciate it. Once she was sure Kim was comfortable with their equipment, she signalled Leo to haul it on board the Zodiac.

“I can’t believe you have another boat,” Kim said, disbelievingly.

“I chose it actually, after JJ bought Connie . We knew we would want to dive a lot when we were together and it seemed silly to rent something. JJ gave me the all-clear and we bought this. Now we can dive whenever we want,” Hélène smiled.

“Sounds heavenly,” Kim sighed.

“It is, and now you get to enjoy it, too.” With one last smile and one last ogle, Hélène ushered Kim onto the Zodiac. David and Leo were occupying themselves with the boat whilst Hélène and Kim stood up front next to Holly, who was driving.

“All ready?” she called to no one in particular.

“Yup, let’s go,” David answered.

Holly nodded and threw down the throttle. Hélène was used to the sudden thrust, but Kim wasn’t. She stumbled backwards, straight into Hélène’s waiting arms. If Hélène had the choice, they would stay like that for the rest of the trip, but she didn’t want to distract either of them from the task at hand.

“You okay?” she shouted over the roar of the engine.

“Perfect.” Kim’s face beamed back. Hélène sighed in contentment. Being here with Kim gave her the exquisite feeling of unbridled happiness.

The journey to the dive spot took them five minutes. The sea was completely flat, which allowed the Zodiac to glide over the surface with ease. Hélène turned her face to the sun for the entire ride. This was her happy place where she was completely at ease. She cast her attention to Kim as the boat slowed. “Stop worrying, I can see it on your face.”

“Sorry, I’m just nervous.”

“To be expected, but I promise, as soon as you go under, your worries will evaporate, trust me.”

“I trust you.”

Hélène nodded. Their eyes were still locked onto each other’s. Hélène could feel her heart race. She wanted to lean in and kiss Kim, but she wasn’t sure if that would be okay. Kim captured her lips in a sweet and all-too-brief kiss, silencing any worries. Hélène smiled shyly, touching her fingers to her lips. God, all Hélène wanted to do with this woman was dive into her. No holding back. Give her everything—all in, all the way.

Stop it and focus .

“Are we all set?” she called to her crew.

“Set, Hélène,” Leo shouted. He and David had already put on their gear.

“Okay, Kim, let’s get your wetsuit zipped up.”

“Let’s do it,” Kim said with a confidence that had been missing before the kiss.

Hélène hoped it was the contact they’d shared that had bolstered her. “Alright, Kim, I’m going to enter the water first. Once I signal, you can drop in. Leo and I will help you put your vest on, in the water, okay?”

“Okay.”

“David, can you be our designated photographer?”

“Aye, aye, Captain.”

Hélène turned back to Kim. “Your first dive is all about fun. You just have to come along for the ride. Me and Leo will do the hard work,” she winked.

Satisfied Kim was doing well, Hélène put on her kit, double-checking everything was as it should be. Hélène took a calming breath before she tumbled backwards into the water. As usual, her world spun out of control for a second as she rolled underwater. Once she was the right way up, she inflated her vest, broke the surface, and gave the obligatory “okay” sign.

Her body hummed with delight as she adjusted herself to her watery surroundings. Hélène gave the nod to Holly, signalling she was ready for Kim to enter the water. Hélène watched and laughed out loud as Kim joyfully jumped off the side of the boat as carefree as a child.

“Okay?” she called to Kim once she had resurfaced. Kim nodded with a big smile on her face. Slowly, Hélène made her way over to Kim. They bobbed up and down, waiting for Leo to join them.

“Let’s get you dressed.” Leo inflated Kim’s vest and gestured for her to slip her arms through. The process only took a couple of minutes. Leo and Hélène were like a well-oiled machine, although trying to get Kim’s flippers on was a fun experience. They had to stop several times because Kim couldn’t control her laughter as she rolled about in the water.

“We’re going to descend now. I will regulate the air in your vest so you don’t have to worry about anything. Just enjoy yourself.”

“Okay,” Kim sang.

“Leo and David, can you go first? I’ll stick with Kim and we’ll come down together. We are stopping at five metres.”

“Roger that,” Leo supplied, emptying his vest of air, allowing him to slip beneath the surface with ease, David following close behind.

“I know there is a lot to remember, so you must tell me if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Remember the most important thing I told you about when we go down? If your ears hurt, signal, and we will stop immediately. Take your time to clear the pressure in your ears. There is no rush,” Hélène said seriously, holding onto Kim’s vest.

“I’m good. I remember what you said about pinching my nose and swallowing to clear my ears.” Kim was showing no signs of stress or anxiety, which helped Hélène relax.

“I’ll be with you every step of the way. You will never be out of my sight, and I will have a hold on you all the time.”

“Okay, then, I’m ready to scuba dive.” Kim slipped her mouthpiece in and nodded, signalling her readiness.

Hélène followed suit and lifted their inflating hoses. She gave the sign for them to dive, using the signal they had practised yesterday. Hélène kept a watchful eye on Kim as they went down. Reaching five metres wouldn’t take long, but she wanted them to take as much time as necessary. Kim was dealing with the alien notion of breathing underwater, plus the building pressure in her ears. Hélène didn’t want her to rush. Safety first was paramount.

There were no signs of distress from Kim at all. Hélène signed to her, asking if she were okay, which Kim signalled she was. They hit five metres and Hélène slowed them by pumping a little air into their vests. They levelled out and waited for Leo to join them. David swam around the trio, taking pictures.

Satisfied everyone was okay, Hélène finally took the time to scan her surroundings. The cliffs of the Citadel were just off to their right. The visibility was excellent. Hélène had been on several dives where the visibility had been so low she could barely see her hand in front of her face.

She motioned to Kim, Leo, and David she was ready to move. Hélène had explained the principles of swimming with flippers, but she was a firm believer you could only learn by doing. Kim seemed to get the hang of it quickly, which didn’t surprise her at all.

The four divers made their way slowly over to the rocks. Hélène stopped now and then, pointing at the different corals and fish that were swimming around. She watched as Kim took it all in. She could see each time Kim saw something new that excited her because her eyes went wide and then creased as she smiled.

Hélène kept track of their depth and the time they had been under. As much as she was enjoying herself, she understood Kim would tire out soon. She didn’t want to exhaust her on the first dive because they could go again later in the afternoon.

Hélène turned herself gracefully in the water to face Leo, David, and Kim. She crossed her arms in an X shape to tell them the dive was over. Ascending could be tricky for beginners, but she had no intention of letting Kim attempt it on her own. Making sure that her grip on Kim’s vest was tight, she moved them closer to the surface.

They broke the surface with no issues. Finally, Hélène felt as if she could breathe properly. It had been a textbook dive. Holly leaned over the side of the boat as they approached. Hélène was the first to get her gear off and have it hauled onto the boat. Leo and David followed next, allowing Hélène to help Kim.

Taking off the vest and flippers whilst bobbing about in the water was harder than it looked, but Kim managed it without too much trouble. Hélène grabbed hold of the handles mounted on either side of the Zodiac. With one pump of her feet, she catapulted herself out of the water and onto the deck of the boat.

Holly had already dropped the steps for Kim, who was slowly making her way up and out of the water. Hélène recognised the signs of Kim’s tired limbs, but her face registered nothing but elation.

“What do you think, then?” Hélène asked Kim when she had stepped fully onto the deck. Hélène was taken by surprise when Kim tackled her in a hug.

“Oh, Hélène, I can’t even tell you,” she panted. Hélène laughed. Kim’s joy was infectious. “It was the best thing I’ve ever experienced. I mean, did you see all the little fish and the coral? Did you feel how warm the water was? It was a little weird at first, but after I got used to the whole breathing underwater thing, it was as if we had entered another world.”

“I knew you’d like it.” Hélène tried desperately not to show how excited she was at Kim’s reaction.

“Liked it? I loved it, doll,” Kim squealed. Even Leo and David were grinning like idiots at Kim’s exuberance.

“We can go again later if you want? As long as you’re not too tired.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really,” Hélène laughed, still in Kim’s arms. It felt good…too good.

“Let’s head back, grab some food, and then reassess after.” Everyone aboard nodded in agreement. Kim nodded with a lot more enthusiasm than the rest.

She’s the perfect woman .

The journey back to Connie was quick and the time flew as the group chatted animatedly about the dive and everything they had seen. Kim was firing off questions about the different corals and fish, which seemed to please David, who was an expert in marine life.

Once they were back on board Connie, Hélène spent some time filling out the necessary paperwork. She also spent some time with Leo and David, debriefing. The morning had been so perfect. Hélène could only hope the rest of the trip would be the same.

Fifteen

K im dived a total of ten times while they were in Calvi. Her first experience underwater had been so exhilarating she was practically bouncing with excitement at the thought of doing it again.

Kim could fully understand why Hélène was so passionate about it. As soon as she descended into the depths, a calm washed over her. All the noise of the world vanished, replaced by the sounds of the ocean.

Hélène had explained the sound underwater was magnified, and it made the experience even more magical in Kim’s eyes. She loved hearing her breath and the little bubbles crackle around her ears. The little swoosh sound that came after a fish zipped off to hide was wonderful.

On their third dive, Kim had almost forgotten to breathe properly when they were ascending to the surface. The sun was sending rays of light through the water, highlighting the clouds of fish swimming around them and the vast number of bubbles the group produced.

It really was a wonderland, and Kim couldn’t wait to come back for more. She’d made Hélène laugh on several occasions with her impatience and eagerness to get back in the water. Hélène had repeated several times, they couldn’t dive continuously. Kim understood, but it didn’t make her feel any less excited for the next time.

Now that Kim had reached ten dives, Hélène suggested they move on to the next dive site. The main town there was called Galéria. Hélène seemed to be excited to dive there. There was a tunnel they could go through—if Kim felt confident—and a shipwreck. Kim was more than happy to try something a little different.

“Do you think you would be interested in taking the test today?” Hélène asked as they sat by the pool, sipping cocktails. They’d gotten into somewhat of a routine lately. They would normally dive in the morning, sometimes again in the afternoon—if Kim wasn’t feeling too tired—then they would retreat to their suites for a while to wash up or take a nap. Once they were feeling refreshed, they would sit by the pool with cocktails until the evening. Leo and David joined them now and then. Holly had kept herself busy, only stopping by to say hello and ask if Kim was enjoying herself.

“Yes, I’m ready.” Kim could have taken the test days ago if she were being honest. The questions didn’t look difficult. If she passed the written test and Hélène signed off on her proficiency, Kim would officially get her Level 1 diving title.

“Great, I’ll grab the paper and let you get to it. I don’t think it’s going to take you very long,” she scoffed playfully.

“Let me get some water down me first. I’ve had three of these bad boys already,” Kim grinned, hoisting up her piña colada.

“No rush.” Hélène winked as she made her way inside, presumably to get the test paper.

So far, they’d been on Connie for a week and a half. It was the longest time Kim had ever been away from solid ground and she was loving every minute. Maybe in another life, one where she hadn’t settled down with Greg, she could have had a job as a marine biologist living life on the sea. It was a fantasy Kim had been envisioning a lot recently. Her phone ringing brought her back to reality.

“Hey, Mum, I thought you would be in the air by now?” Kim had tried to keep track of the days which proved difficult sometimes, especially when she had purposefully limited her phone time, instead enjoying the ocean view and conversation.

“Change of plan, love,” Joy replied. Kim heard a sliver of anxiety in her mum’s voice.

“Everything okay?”

“It is with me and your dad.” Joy sighed. “Greg, not so much.”

“Greg? You’ve spoken to him?”

“Yes, after our conversation, I didn’t want to wait too long to check up on him.”

“Thanks, Mum. So what’s going on?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure, doll. He is in a real mess. I’ve convinced him to come here for a few days. Whatever he’s going through is impacting him severely. I stopped your dad from blowing off at him because, well, frankly, I don’t think he could handle it. Did you notice anything out of the ordinary before you went away?”

Kim felt an enormous amount of guilt settle on her shoulders. She’d been so upset with his lack of effort in their relationship, and how it was affecting her, she hadn’t really taken a close look at her partner. Had she missed something? Not that she could recall. Greg’s behaviour had changed gradually over months. There had been nothing to indicate something terrible had happened to him.

“No, nothing I can think of. Honestly, I thought it was just us growing apart, wanting different things, but from what you’re saying, it seems I should have picked up on something else.”

“I didn’t say that, love. Actually, I don’t think that Greg really knew he had a problem until he became aggressive with you. When I spoke to him, he just kept apologising about the way he’d treated you. He sounded so broken, Kim, it was worrying. That’s why I told him to come home. I don’t think it’s a good idea for him to be alone right now.”

“Should I come home?”

“No, don’t do that. He needs time, and I think I’ll have a better chance of getting to the bottom of things if it’s just us. Your dad will talk to him about the incident. I can’t stop him, but once that’s done, I think we need to concentrate on the root cause of his behaviour.”

“Can you let me know what happens? He’s still my best friend. I hate to think there has been something going on right under my nose and I didn’t know.”

“Kim, even though he is clearly having some troubles at the minute, that doesn’t diminish the fact your relationship changed and that he acted the way he did towards you. Please don’t think I’m calling to make you feel bad because I’m not.”

“Okay, it’s just so upsetting. I can’t help but feel guilty, Mum. Here I am, swanning about on a luxury yacht with a woman I’m attracted to when my ex-boyfriend of two weeks is having a breakdown. What kind of person does that make me?”

“Human. Kim, if you have been miserable for months, you have no reason to feel bad about getting away and taking care of your own well-being. I, for one, am thrilled you love yourself enough to do it. As for your attraction to Hélène, well, that’s not something you can control. You ended it with Greg. No one but you gets to determine how much time must pass before you are ready to move on. Did something more happen with her?”

Kim remained silent. Her feelings for Hélène had increased tenfold since they’d slept together. Hélène was an amazing woman and an incredible lover. She made Kim feel seen, and if she dared say it, loved. But, surely, it was far too early for Kim to be ready to move onto something more serious.

“Yes, something happened. It wasn’t planned.”

“It’s okay, love. As a parent, the only thing I want is your happiness. If Hélène is your happiness, then you have to take the risk.”

“It’s a tad early to know that, don’t you think?”

“No, I don’t think. I believe people can meet their soulmates and know instantly. Call it ‘love at first sight’ if you want. It doesn’t matter because only you know what you feel and how strongly. Yes, the situation at the minute is hard, but don’t let that stop you from going after the thing that will bring you joy, sweetheart.”

“I just need some time to figure it all out. One reason I finally ended it with Greg was because I felt I’d lost a part of myself. I need to spend some time on me before I can get involved with someone again. Hélène understands that. She’s been great. I told her I needed to go slow, and she seems fine with that.”

“She sounds great, Kim.”

“She is.”

Kim spent the next half an hour on the phone with her mum, recapping all the diving adventures they’d been on. She explained in detail about the sights they’d seen beneath the waves. The one great thing about having professors as parents was they were equally curious and as eager to learn as Kim.

Greg lingered at the back of her mind throughout their conversation. Kim was happy her parents were going to take care of him, but she was confused about her role in it all. Kim wanted to be there for her friend. Whatever was wrong went beyond their relationship. Greg had been suffering and she hadn’t known. Kim had been by his side every day since they were kids, and it didn’t sit well she wasn’t there with him now.

They wound down the conversation, promising to call with updates soon. Once the call ended, Kim took a few calming breaths. There was so much to unpack in her mind and she was feeling overwhelmed by it all.

“Hey, you okay?” Hélène asked.

Kim realised Hélène must have overheard some of the conversation. “I’ve been better.” No point in lying.

“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I caught some of it. Is Greg okay?”

Trust Hélène to be kind and considerate of her ex. Kim couldn’t say with all certainty she would want to sit there listening about any of Hélène’s ex-girlfriends.

“No, he isn’t. Not because I broke up with him, although that is upsetting him. I think he is more upset with himself for acting that way with me than with us actually breaking up. There is something going on with him. My parents have arranged for him to stay with them for a few days to get to the bottom of it all.”

Hélène sat quietly as Kim rambled on. It felt good to talk to someone. The thing she couldn’t express, though, was her confusion about her feelings for the woman sitting in front of her. Even after hearing about how badly Greg was doing, Kim couldn’t stop herself from wanting Hélène.

They’d had sex three times. They hadn’t done it since the day Hélène took her by surprise in her room. Kim knew Hélène was leaving it up to her to initiate all things physical, but she secretly wished Hélène would just take her.

But Kim had cooled things down between them—bedroom-wise—for a reason. Yes, they stole kisses and touched each other, but that was all. She didn’t want them to become so lost in the throes of passion she lost sight of herself again. She had to keep a sensible head on her shoulders. Assess the risks before jumping in.

“Do you want to postpone the test?” Hélène asked cautiously.

“No, I can do it. I’ll only overthink everything. I might as well do something that will focus my mind.”

Hélène nodded and pulled on her hand, ushering them inside to the table where the test paper sat. Just the touch of Hélène’s skin helped calm Kim down. Whatever was building between them, Kim knew deep down her feelings were real, which scared the living shit out of her.

The sun was setting; a multitude of colours filled the sky. The rest of her day had passed pleasantly. Once Hélène had got the okay from everyone on board, they made their way toward Galéria. The journey was quick, but Hélène had decided they would wait until the next day to dive again.

After Kim had completed the test, she took a little space. The conversation with her mum had taken a lot out of her, and the last thing she wanted was for her mood to dampen the trip for anyone else. Hélène had been as supportive as ever when Kim explained she would spend the rest of the day in her suite.

Thankfully, Kim’s phone was full of books. She could easily waste away hours just reading. Since she’d begun diving, her interest in Marine Biology had soared. Thinking back to her university days, Kim scoured the internet looking for articles and books that specialised in the subject. A tinge of regret pinched her brain. She wished she’d stayed on and completed her doctorate, but no use looking back now. She could always go back to her studies if she wanted.

Kim shook her head, trying to dislodge her thoughts. She already had too much to think about. A knock on her door disrupted her errant mental ramblings.

“Hey, you okay?” Kim asked when she opened the door to Hélène.

“Yes, sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to ask if you fancied getting off the boat for a while? We’ve been at sea for over a week and I thought a trip to the island would be a welcomed break.”

“Oh, that sounds lovely, although don’t get me wrong, H, it hasn’t exactly been a hardship being on Connie ,” she chuckled.

“I know, but Corsica is a beautiful place and I feel kind of bad not taking you into Calvi.”

“Hélène, don’t be ridiculous. You’ve given me the best holiday of my life. I loved all the diving we did in Calvi, so I’m not sorry we didn’t get to visit the town.”

“Well, if you say so. Still, a night in Galéria will be fun. Leo and David want to come. I haven’t asked Holly yet. I thought I should see how you felt about it first.”

“Have you spoken to her?”

“Not really. It’s been over a week since her outburst and she said she apologised to you.”

“She did.”

“I don’t really know what to say. I can’t imagine what came over her to act like that. She’s been avoiding me. I don’t know whether to bring it up or just let it go.”

“My advice would be to clear the air. If she really acted out of character, you should find out why. I’m happy for her to come along. I’ll leave that decision up to you. She’s your friend.”

“Okay, I’ll ask if she wants to join us. We’ll depart in an hour if that’s fine by you?”

“Yeah, that’s great. Do I need to get dressed up?”

“No, casual is fine. I thought we could find a local hotspot by the beach.”

“Perfect, I’ll get ready.”

Hélène was looking delicious. Kim couldn’t keep from staring as she walked away toward her own suite. It took all of Kim’s willpower to stay in her room. Even though her mind was buzzing with confusion and questions, Kim’s desire for Hélène was clear as day.

Now, looking at Hélène’s retreating form, Kim couldn’t remember for the life of her why she thought it was a good idea to distance herself. It had been over a week since she’d had her hands on Hélène’s body, her libido was through the roof, and the thought of not having Hélène’s hands on her was painful.

Kim’s resolve crumbled. Just having Hélène stop by her suite was enough to send her into overdrive. She needed her, and she needed her now. Without a second thought, Kim left her room and walked the short distance to Hélène’s door. She took a calming breath before knocking.

It was only a few seconds before the door opened and Hélène looked at her with a quizzical stare. The arched eyebrow was just too much for Kim. She dived forward and planted her lips on Hélène’s. Hélène was taken aback, but only for a second.

They kissed feverishly. Hélène’s hands made their way to Kim’s hair. She felt Hélène quickly remove her headscarf, which had been wrapped around her ponytail. The release of her hair was somehow very erotic. Maybe it was because Hélène was now delving her hands through her locks, her lips devouring her neck.

“Stand by the window,” Hélène demanded through her kisses.

“What?” Kim breathed. She couldn’t focus on Hélène’s words because the sensation of those lips was outstanding. Hélène didn’t repeat her demand. Instead, she broke away and led Kim to the windows that faced the bow of the ship.

Kim hadn’t been in Hélène’s suite before, and she wasn’t about to stop what they were doing to take a tour. What she noticed, though, was that Hélène’s suite faced the front of the ship. Three-quarters of the bedroom had floor-to-ceiling windows, giving them a nearly 360-degree view of the Mediterranean. Kim didn’t have the opportunity to comment, because Hélène gently pushed her body up against the window.

“Don’t worry, they’re tinted.” Hélène sucked on Kim’s earlobe. In that precise moment, Kim wouldn’t have cared if the whole of Corsica could see them.

Kim felt Hélène’s hands untie her bikini top. Kim pushed her own bottoms to the floor. Within seconds, Kim was naked and being turned so that her front pressed up against the cold glass. There was a brief pause as Hélène stripped.

“Spread,” Hélène demanded. This time, Kim could focus enough to obey. There was nothing sexier than Hélène commanding her. Not once did Kim feel out of control. She knew that if she objected, Hélène would stop in a heartbeat.

“What are you going to do to me?” she gasped. Hélène’s hands were roaming all over her body.

“I’m going to fuck you from behind whilst you look out over paradise,” Hélène replied. Honestly, Kim wasn’t sure how she was still standing. What was it about this woman that was so intoxicating? Kim braced her hands against the windowpane and spread her legs, shoving her arse out a little to give Hélène all the access she needed.

“What about you? I want you to come, too.”

“I’m going to take my pleasure. Don’t worry about that.” Kim felt Hélène press her body into her own. She felt Hélène’s wet pussy grind against the back of her arse. Hélène’s hand skirted up the back of her thigh and then delved into her folds. Kim almost head-butted the window with the jolt that coursed through her.

“Oh, God.”

“Do you like that?” Hélène asked, even though it wasn’t really a question. Hélène enjoyed talking through sex, and Kim fucking loved it. Hélène’s words could bring her to the brink of orgasm. She was sure of it.

“Harder, fuck me harder,” Kim demanded. The feel of Hélène rubbing herself against Kim was almost too much. She could feel her climax building. Hélène was thrusting hard. Their bodies were in a perfect rhythm, allowing them both to claim their pleasure.

“H, I—”

“Hold on a little more,” Hélène begged. Kim gripped the windowpane as hard as she could. Hélène wanted them to come together, but Kim was struggling to keep her orgasm at bay. She needed Hélène to catch up, and quickly. Deciding she would literally give Hélène a helping hand, she reached round and cupped Hélène’s sex. The added friction was all that was needed.

“Yes…yes…I’m coming,” Hélène cried. Kim threw her head back onto Hélène’s shoulders as she finally allowed herself to come. Her entire body shook and her legs wobbled dangerously as her orgasm took control. Miraculously, they were both able to come down from their orgasms whilst still standing.

“That—”

“Was fabulous,” Kim finished. The warmth of Hélène’s hands encircling Kim’s waist made her heart skip. Hélène’s head was resting on Kim’s shoulder as they both tried to calm their breathing.

“How long have we got until we need to leave?” Kim asked.

“About half an hour.”

“Not ideal, but it will have to do.” Kim turned herself round. “We are not done.” Kim grinned wickedly when she saw Hélène gulp in anticipation.

Sixteen

T he sand felt warm between Hélène’s toes. She dug them deeper, basking in the familiar warmth. How she wished she could wake up every day in a place like this. She looked over her shoulder at her friends who were sitting at a wooden table close to the beach.

The restaurant they had chosen was a small local place that had seen better days. The interior was faded, and the furniture mismatched, but the ambience was perfect. Instead of being surrounded by tourists, they were amongst the village locals.

Raucous laughter filtered out of the double doors which led to the main restaurant. A private party had booked out all the tables inside, but that was fine. Hélène was more than happy to sit on a rickety bench, sipping ice cold beer with Kim, Leo, David, and Holly.

It had been a tense week. Holly’s outburst had thrown Hélène for a loop. She really had no idea how to approach her friend. The answer she found was to just not . For over a week, she and Holly had been civil but cautious. They had spent no time together unless it was within the group of divers. Hélène looked forward to her diving holidays all year, and part of that excitement was seeing Holly. She hated their time away was being ruined by an underlying issue.

Diving all week had taken her out of her melancholy. Nothing could lift her mood better than sinking beneath the waves. Hélène had been over the moon with how well Kim had taken to it. She loved Kim’s enthusiasm and how she wanted to learn. Leo and David had taken Kim under their wings too, especially David, who was more than happy to teach Kim about life underwater. Leo spent more time flirting than anything, but Hélène didn’t feel the pang of jealousy like she did the first time.

Once Kim had completed her first ten dives, Hélène felt comfortable moving them on to the next dive spot. Kim had enjoyed her dives so far, but Hélène knew she would lose her mind when they dived on a wreck. She was a little disappointed they hadn’t attempted to dive over the bomber plane that lay beneath the Citadel, but she didn’t want Kim to feel rushed. It would be possible for them to make a return trip on the way home so they could all experience it together.

The best part of the week, though, had to be the time she’d got to spend alone with Kim. After their first encounter, Hélène was cautiously optimistic. She understood Kim needed time, even though she’d pounced on Hélène the second the conversation had ended.

After a few days, though, her optimism had dimmed. Kim was very flirty, and she often stole kisses and touched Hélène in a way that was more than friendly, but they hadn’t had sex again. Hélène wasn’t a complete idiot. She understood Kim was going through big changes in her life and she couldn’t expect her to suddenly fall into another relationship. Giving Kim the time she’d asked for was simple enough, even if her body cried out to touch her.

Their time together earlier in the evening had come as a complete surprise. Hélène had resigned herself to no more sex on the boat. When Kim had shown up at her door, though, with a look of unfiltered lust shining in her eyes, Hélène quickly tore up that resignation and jumped in feet first.

Taking Kim up against her bedroom windows had been a fantasy she’d had ever since their first time together. Hélène surprised herself again with how demanding she’d been with Kim. The push and pull seemed to spur them on, Hélène demanding first and then Kim taking her turn. It was exhilarating. It was also explosive.

Hélène’s clit ached after their fourth round. Her body was warring with itself. She was tired and aching, but still needing Kim to touch her and bring her to climax. It was good that they’d planned to visit the island because Hélène was sure that they would fuck each other into oblivion if left to their own devices.

The journey to the island took just over five minutes. Kim had sat herself at the back of the Zodiac, quite content holding Hélène’s hand as they sped along. The impromptu trip had been a great idea, and now, as Hélène sat nestled in the sand a little further down the beach from her friends, she could appreciate how wonderful the evening had been.

She took a big lungful of sea air as she noticed Holly break away from the group and walk over. “Hey, can I sit?” Holly asked tentatively.

“Yeah, sure.” They needed to get over whatever was happening. They’d been friends too long, but that didn’t mean Hélène was going to let Holly walk all over her. Holly had to know the way she’d behaved was well out of order.

“Look, Hélène, I am really sorry.”

“Okay, you’ve said that, but that doesn’t explain why you said what you did,” Hélène said bluntly.

“You’re right. I was jealous of Kim.”

“Why? We’re not together, Holly, we never have been.”

“I know. It’s hard to explain.”

“Try.”

“Do you remember me mentioning Rebecca?”

“Yeah, last year, wasn’t it? You dated for a bit.”

“We were together for over a year. She dumped me just before I left to come here. Anyway, I was more messed up about it than I realised and I transferred that onto you.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t deal with being dumped. I just pushed it all to one side. I latched on to the idea of us having one of our getaways. You know, just the four of us like the old days. We’d drink, dive, flirt a little, go to bars, and find women. I focused entirely on that. I didn’t actually mind when you told me Kim would join us. I thought it would be fun. Maybe, me and her could have a brief fling. That was until I saw how you looked at her and I realised you were completely smitten,” Holly sighed.

“My brain just went into meltdown. All I could see was losing you to someone else. I don’t mean that romantically. It was more about losing the time with you I felt belonged to me. You were supposed to be the one who got me through my shitty breakup. I got jealous of Kim having your attention, which I know is juvenile. It was just about my broken heart, nothing to do with you or Kim. I’d been stalking Rebecca’s Insta feed the night I had that outburst. She’s found someone new and it sent me off the deep end. So as the mature adult I am, I drank too much and took it out on Kim.”

“That’s a lot to unpack, Holly.” She felt bad for her friend. She’d never known Holly to date anyone longer than a couple of months, so this Rebecca woman must have been something.

“It really wasn’t about you or Kim. I like her. She’s good for you. It was all about me and the fact that I hadn’t processed any of my hurt. I just tried to run from it. I’m so sorry, Hélène, I hate fighting with you.”

“I hate fighting, too. It’s been horrible this past week.”

“Can we go back to normal now? I promise I will never speak to you or your ‘friend’ like that again,” she winked.

“She is my friend,” Hélène blushed.

“She’s more than that and it’s great, really, Hélène, I’m happy for you.”

“It’s a delicate situation.” Hélène was so pleased she had her best friend back. She needed to talk.

“Want to elaborate?”

Hélène spent the next few minutes telling Holly about her and Kim, and then Kim and Greg.

“Yeah, that’s complicated.” Holly puffed out her cheeks.

“Yeah, it really is.”

“My advice, Hélène, before the trip ends, and if you still feel this strongly, you have to talk to her. I understand you want to give her the space and time she needs to process everything, but that doesn’t, and shouldn’t, mean you’re left waiting for her to make the call. She can’t fuck you and then keep you hanging, it’s not right.”

“She’s not like that, Hol. I don’t feel like she’s just in it for a quick lay. When we’re together, whether that be in bed or just in each other’s company, it feels deeper than anything I’ve felt before.”

“And that’s awesome, mate, but you have to make sure she feels the same, otherwise you’re gonna be the one getting hurt. I’m not saying you need to ask for commitment, but you should know if it’s going to carry on after you go back home.”

Holly was right. Hélène had been burying her head. She was enjoying Kim so much she didn’t want to ask the hard questions.

“I’ll talk to her,” Hélène nodded.

Holly bumped her shoulder. “Let’s get back to those three. Leo looks like he’s well into his fifth cocktail. We might need to rescue poor Kim.”

Hélène laughed when she spied Leo gesticulating wildly. Kim was laughing so hard Hélène could see tears running down her beautiful face. They would need to talk, but not tonight. Tonight was about coming together as a group and enjoying life.

The five days they’d spent diving around Galéria had been fantastic. The weather and conditions couldn’t have been better, plus the atmosphere had changed considerably since Hélène and Holly had buried the hatchet.

When JJ called Hélène to tell her he’d rearranged some things so that he could join them, she was beyond happy. It felt like years since she’d got to spend time with her brother—even though, in reality, it was only a few months—and she was secretly happy he would have the chance to meet Kim.

Kim had spent every night with Hélène in her suite. They still hadn’t broached the future, which Hélène was feeling uneasy about because the longer she spent with Kim, the deeper Hélène fell.

Every night ended with sex. Some nights it was slow and passionate. Others it was as if they hadn’t touched each other for an age. Hélène loved it no matter how they did it, and that was becoming a problem. How was she going to cope if Kim only wanted this to be a holiday fling? It had moved way past that for Hélène.

Yes, the sex was outstanding, but the other facets of their relationship were just as good. Kim was fascinating. Her brain and the way her mind worked were so incredibly sexy. Hélène would lay there listening to Kim talk about biology, recounting her university days and the subjects she found fascinating.

Hélène didn’t know what Kim was talking about most of the time, but it didn’t matter. In return, Hélène had also opened up more. She’d talked in depth about the struggles she had with her parents, how close she was with JJ, and how difficult it had been when Claire had passed.

When Hélène thought back to all their conversations, she was convinced Kim had to be on the same page as her. There was no way either of them would discuss such private things with someone who was just a fling, right?

“You’re so warm,” Kim purred into Hélène’s neck. They had been holed up in Hélène’s suite for the entire morning, neither woman showing any signs of wanting to venture out.

“I’ve always been warm,” Hélène murmured. She was in that stage of being awake, but not entirely.

“I like it. I get cold easily, but now I have you to keep me warm.”

“Do you?”

“Do I what?” Kim asked as she snuggled closer to Hélène.

“Do you have me?” Hélène held her breath as Kim shifted her head onto her arm so she was looking into her eyes.

“Are we having that conversation?”

“I think we need to. I promise I’m not trying to push you. We won’t be on Connie forever, and I suppose I’d just like to know if this is going to stop as soon as we disembark?”

“I hope not.” Kim brushed the tip of her nose on Hélène’s shoulder.

“Okay, well, that was easy,” Hélène laughed.

“There will be things to talk about when we get back. I will have to sort out an apartment or at least find out if Greg wants to keep ours or move out. So much has happened that will need my attention, but I hope you realise by now that you are one of those things, too.”

Hélène felt a ball of emotion wedge itself in her throat.

This is too good to be true, surely?

“Is it safe to say we’re dating?” Hélène asked cautiously. Kim let her gorgeous chuckle vibrate against Hélène’s shoulder, sending a bolt of energy to Hélène’s centre.

“Yes, Hélène, we’re dating. Exclusively, I hope.”

Hélène felt the smile bloom on her face. “Yes, please, I mean, I’d like to be exclusive, too.”

“Well, that’s settled then, doll.” Kim winked, pecking Hélène on the cheek and sinking back down into the bed. “What time does JJ get here?”

“Later this afternoon, so at some point, we will have to get out of bed,” Hélène laughed.

“But not yet, right?” Kim grinned. Hélène knew that mischievous grin, and it thrilled her to be on the receiving end.

“No, not right now. Why? Did you have something in mind?”

“Sit on my face,” Kim blurted. Hélène slammed her thighs together because the effect of Kim saying those four words was nearly enough to get her off—no touching necessary. Kim was already getting herself into position. Hélène hadn’t said a word, and she wasn’t going to. If this vixen wanted her to ride her face, who the hell was she to question it?

“C’mon, let’s go.” Kim playfully slapped Hélène’s arse whilst she manoeuvred herself so she was hovering above Kim’s face. “You’re going to need to hold on for this, doll,” Kim said, her eyes shining.

Hélène gripped the headboard and lowered herself down. Kim grabbed her arse with both hands and sank her face into Hélène.

“Oh. Mon . Dieu ,” Hélène exclaimed loudly. She kept her focus squarely on the wall in front of her because she was sure that if she looked down and saw the ravenous look on Kim’s face, she would come instantly and she wanted to make it last.

Kim’s tongue entered her deeply, making Hélène’s vision swim. “Oh, don’t stop,” she cried. No matter how badly she wanted to hold on, her clit couldn’t take anymore. Kim’s tongue was masterful as it slid out of her entrance and caressed her so skilfully. “Right there…yes…there, Kim… Oh, God, I’m coming.”

Hélène’s fingers were hurting with how hard she was gripping the headboard. To add to what was already an earth-shattering orgasm, Kim brought her hands up to Hélène’s breasts and pinched her nipples, causing a second orgasm to strike.

Hélène was certain that the crew had just heard her because she had just screamed her head off. Normally, Hélène was relatively quiet when she came, but good God, the noises Kim could extract from her were mind-boggling.

A repetitive thud thud thud noise pierced through Hélène’s post-orgasm bliss. Snatched back to reality, Hélène adjusted her head slightly to take in the sound. Helicopter blades—the sound unmistakable. A sudden panic zipped through Hélène’s body.

“Merde , JJ is early,” she barked as she scrambled off Kim’s face and out of the bed, searching for her clothes. Her mind whirred. She’d been looking forward to JJ meeting Kim ever since he’d told her he would join them for a couple of days. In the cold light of day, though, all of Hélène’s old insecurities were rearing their ugly head.

“Hey, whoa, slow down,” Kim pleaded, reaching out to take Hélène’s arm. “You need to jump in the shower before you greet him, H.”

“I don’t have time.”

“Make time, because you smell of sex,” Kim said bluntly.

Hélène froze in place. Of course, she needed a shower. She’d been face and knuckle deep in Kim for most of the morning.

“Merde ,” she exclaimed, ripping off her clothes again and storming into the bathroom. The water was calming, but her breath was coming in fast. Why was she getting herself so worked up?

The sound of the shower door opening pulled her back to the room. Kim snuck in behind her and pulled her in close. “I’m not sure what just happened, but you kind of just abandoned me after making me come, like, four times. Not cool, H,” Kim teased.

Hélène blew out a breath. “Sorry, I don’t know why I’m freaking out.” She may as well be honest.

“Neither do I, but now you know you’re freaking out, you can get it under control, okay? You’ve been so excited to see your brother, Hélène, just enjoy that.” Hélène turned around so she was facing Kim, who, without her heels, just made it to Hélène’s shoulders.

“Thank you,” she replied, lowering her head for a kiss.

“None of that. You’re supposed to be getting clean,” Kim laughed. “We can get dirty again later,” she winked.

Fifteen minutes later, and with one aching clit, Hélène dragged herself out of the “no sex” shower she’d just shared with Kim. Her body did not appreciate the lack of stimulation it was so used to getting nowadays when in the shower.

They dressed quickly, stealing a kiss before heading to the pool deck. Hélène heard JJ before she spotted him. His laugh bellowed through the boat, causing her to smile. She loved her goofy brother.

“Coucou ,” she called as she slipped out of the sliding doors. JJ swung round in his chair. He looked like an excitable puppy.

“Hélène,” he cried joyfully, launching himself at her and cocooning her in a wraparound hug. Hélène breathed in her brother’s scent. She’d missed him so much.

“How are you?” she mumbled, her face pressed hard into JJ’s chest.

“All the happier to see you, kid,” he bellowed. They held each other for a few more seconds. She noticed JJ’s eyes flit over her shoulder. Hélène turned her head and followed his gaze. Kim stood a foot or two away from them with a smile that lit up her face.

Hélène felt the same old nerves flutter. This was usually the time she found out the person with her was more interested in meeting the infamous John Spencer than in Hélène herself. The thought of Kim being one of those people hurt more than she could say.

“Kim, I’d like to introduce you to John Spencer.” Her tone was professional, almost as if they were in a boardroom meeting instead of on the deck of a luxury yacht. Hélène noticed Kim frown slightly. “John, this is Kimberley Richmond.”

Hélène stepped slightly to the side, allowing them to greet each other and, no doubt, start a conversation about John and his success. Despite how it might look to some, Hélène was not jealous of John. He’d worked his ass off to achieve everything he had, and he really was the best brother anyone could ask for. Sometimes, though, Hélène just wished she were enough.

“Hello, Kimberley,” John said cheerfully, holding out his hand. Kim stepped forward, giving Hélène a puzzled and slightly amused look before taking his hand in a brief handshake.

“Great to meet you, John. Please call me Kim. I’m not quite sure why H introduced me as if I were applying for a job,” she chuckled. Hélène blushed a little. “So, John, tell me…”

And here they came, the inevitable questions: What’s it like to be so young and so successful? How many companies do you own now? Have you got any new businesses lined up? I would love to pitch you an idea I had if you have a few minutes?

“How many embarrassing childhood stories can you tell me about Hélène before her head explodes?” Kim asked seriously. Hélène must have misheard. She snapped her eyes to Kim, who was grinning and wiggling her eyebrows mischievously at John.

John burst out laughing, his shoulders relaxing. “Oh, boy, I have some great ones, let’s grab a drink and I’ll start with how she tried to bake cookies for a school assembly one year and they all turned out looking like penises,” he howled.

Hélène quickly came to her senses. Her feet moved rapidly to catch up to the duo who had moved to the drinks station on the far side of the deck.

“I don’t think anyone needs to hear that,” she groaned, causing John and Kim to laugh louder. Oh, man, she was in for a long night.

Seventeen

J ohn Spencer was probably one of the nicest guys Kim had ever met. It was abundantly clear he adored Hélène as he regaled the group with stories of their mishaps and adventures together as kids. Hélène had spent a lot of the evening bright red, glaring at him to stop, but he just winked and carried on.

Kim was just happy Hélène’s earlier anxieties had fallen by the wayside. She wasn’t sure why Hélène had reacted so strongly when JJ had turned up early or why she’d introduced Kim the way she had. It was a little heartbreaking for Kim to see how Hélène had taken a sidestep after the introductions, as if trying to get out of the way. Did she feel “less than” when her brother was around?

The group enjoyed a wonderful barbecue on the upper deck. Leo had anointed himself as the grill master, which, to be fair, Kim couldn’t argue with because the food had been phenomenal. She remembered him saying his family owned several restaurants in his hometown, which would explain his skill. The drinks flowed freely, leaving everyone relaxed and a little tipsy.

“So, Kim, tell me about you,” John said over the chatter.

“What do you want to know?”

“Anything you feel happy sharing, I suppose.”

“Okay, well, you know I work for Tower Publishing because you own it,” she giggled. “I have lived in France for a few years now but still suck at the language. I have an unhealthy obsession with vintage clothes—”

“And heels,” Hélène interjected.

“Erm, excuse you, that’s an appreciation of fine footwear, not an obsession,” she mock scowled. “I’m an Aries, and I’ve always wanted a pet turtle.” John raised his eyebrows, looking at Hélène, who was beaming. “What about you?”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ve read all about me,” he grinned.

Kim noticed Hélène sink back into her chair, the smile she’d sported dimming. “I have, and no offence, John, but your business doesn’t really get my juices flowing. I was more thinking about JJ, Hélène’s older brother.”

Kim felt Hélène’s hand rest on her thigh. She looked over and she could have sworn Hélène’s eyes were wet. An emotion was etched over her face that Kim couldn’t decipher. Gratitude? Happiness? Lust? Love? No! Scratch the last one!

“Oh, right, that I can talk about.”

Kim sat there and listened to John, or JJ, as she now referred to him. Kim’s heart broke for him when he spoke of Claire, his late wife. She could see the love and pain he held in his eyes. She felt fortunate he was comfortable enough to share such intimate stories. She felt honoured to be a part of Hélène’s inner circle.

“Bedtime for me,” John said through a yawn. Holly, Leo, and David had already retired. Kim looked at Hélène, wondering if she was going to leave, too.

“I’m going to have one last drink,” Hélène said. “Kim?”

“Yeah, I’ll join you.”

John smirked at them both before kissing them goodnight. He flashed a wink at Hélène, who rolled her eyes.

“What was that?” Kim laughed.

“Oh, you mean Captain Obvious wasn’t all that subtle with his wink?” Hélène said sarcastically.

Kim sniggered. She loved the dynamic between the two siblings.

Hélène was already mixing them both a drink. Kim moved over to the two-seat sofa.

“Here.” Hélène passed Kim the drink and then settled down next to her, their thighs wedged together. There was no space left between them, which made Kim happy.

“Cheers.”

“Cheers.”

“So, will you tell me why you introduced me to JJ like that?” It had continued to bug Kim all evening. She was sure there was something more behind it and she knew she was right when she saw Hélène shift in her seat, her shoulders sagging as she let out a long sigh.

“It’s going to sound pathetic,” Hélène said, unable to look Kim in the eye.

“I doubt it, H, but you don’t have to tell me if you’re uncomfortable.”

“It’s just, well, you remember me telling you I’ve had some issues with the way people behave once they find out who I’m related to?” Kim nodded. She didn’t want Hélène to stop talking. “Well, it’s just that I have got used to taking a backseat, especially around JJ. Don’t get me wrong, I adore that man, but sometimes it’s hard when I get cast aside by people who are supposed to be interested in me. As soon as JJ enters the picture, that’s all anyone can focus on. I know he doesn’t enjoy having the spotlight on him all the time. He would never want me to feel like this, but I do, and I can’t do anything about it.” Hélène took a long breath.

“Well, that sucks. I hope I never made you feel like that when—”

“No, you didn’t. In fact, you’re the first person who has ever asked about me—asked JJ to talk about our childhood. It meant more than you can imagine.”

Kim studied Hélène’s face. The raw emotion playing across her beautiful features was heartbreaking and wonderful all at the same time.

Who wouldn’t want to talk about Hélène? It baffled Kim any woman could even contemplate casting her aside just to talk to John. Yes, he was a big deal, but not compared to her.

The thought smacked Kim square in the chest. No matter how hard she tried to keep things casual with Hélène, it wasn’t possible. The connection they had was too strong.

“Do you want to take a swim with me?” Kim’s mind was spinning…she needed to break the tension before she said something she feared; something that was becoming painfully obvious the more time she spent with Hélène.

“You want to swim now?” Hélène asked incredulously. “It’s nearly midnight!” Kim stayed silent. She placed her drink on the table and made her way to the stairs. Her heart was racing. She hoped Hélène would take the bait.

The pool was lit by small lights on every side. The rest of the boat—minus the observation deck—was in complete darkness. Without having to look up, she sensed Hélène’s eyes on her as she approached the pool. Dropping her dress she’d unzipped on the stairs, Kim stood in only a black lace thong. A smile crept on her face when she heard Hélène gasp.

Keeping her back to Hélène, she slowly bent at the hips, sliding her underwear down as she went. The night air felt amazing on Kim’s fevered body. Just the thought of Hélène watching her, wanting her, was enough to have her sweating.

Walking to the edge of the pool, she gracefully slipped out of her heels and looked up toward the top deck where Hélène was leaning, watching with a look of pure need radiating off her.

“Are you coming?” Kim asked softly.

“You astound me,” Hélène whispered.

Kim gave her a playful wink before diving into the pool. She twisted her head toward the door after resurfacing and waited. Hélène exited the door, already half naked, making Kim laugh. God knows where she’d dropped her clothes.

In a flash, Hélène dived in and emerged in front of Kim, with only an inch separating them. “You take my breath away, Kim.”

Hélène was so serious. Kim’s heart fluttered and her stomach tensed. Her low timbre made Kim clench. Hélène delicately took Kim by the waist and pulled them together.

Kim’s legs instinctively wrapped around Hélène’s body. “You scare me,” Kim whispered. She hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but it was the truth.

“You never have to be scared of me or with me.”

Hélène brushed her nose against Kim’s. Her eyes were so sincere, Kim couldn’t wait any longer. Bridging the tiny gap between them, Kim took Hélène’s lips into her own, sucking gently and then nipping.

A moan from Hélène spurred her on further. Her hips surged forward, seeking friction, but the water only served to titillate her sensitive clit. Hélène slowly turned them and guided Kim so she was backed against the pool wall. Their lips never parted. They breathed each other in, consuming everything the other had to give.

“Please touch me,” Kim gasped. She couldn’t take anymore. It was the sweetest torture she’d ever experienced. Her body craved release, but her heart wanted the feeling to last a lifetime. “Hélène, please.” Kim released her legs slightly, allowing Hélène to bring her hand between them.

Even in the water, Kim knew Hélène would feel her arousal. She almost cried when she finally felt Hélène’s fingers caress her folds. Kim was all for rough and ready, but the feelings that surrounded them when they took their time were unparalleled.

Hélène’s moan brought her back to their current reality. Hélène was grinding against her own hand, the hand that was deep inside Kim. “Come with me,” Kim whimpered, her own gratification growing into a wave that was almost ready to crest.

Hélène doubled her efforts. Her hand plunged deeper and faster, her hips rocking as hard as they could in the water.

Kim’s eyes clouded over. She couldn’t focus on anything. Her mind was incapable of dealing with the feelings that were crashing through her nervous system. She held Hélène tightly. Her head slammed into Hélène’s neck, biting hard on her flesh as her orgasm rocketed through her. The scream that emanated from her throat pierced the stillness of the night; her pleasure echoed in the winds.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?”

“No, really, I could do with some down time,” Kim said honestly. The past two days had really taken it out of her. JJ was a live wire, always on the go. They’d arrived in the Golfe de Valinco early yesterday morning.

JJ had insisted they dive early, which had been a lot of fun. Hélène, as usual, stuck to Kim like glue, which she secretly loved, even though she had clarified Hélène should feel free to go off with JJ. Leo and Holly were more than qualified to handle Kim underwater, but Hélène wouldn’t budge.

They’d managed two dives, followed by another late night of drinking and other fun activities that only included Kim and Hélène. The lack of sleep and high energy output had caught up to Kim, and the thought of diving again was far too much. Her body required a sun lounger and nothing more.

“Hey, Hélène, I’ll stick around too,” JJ called. Hélène stopped in her tracks at that unexpected announcement and eyed her brother suspiciously, causing him to laugh. “Hey, I’m not as young as I was, and I haven’t scuba dived in over a year. My old bones need a break!”

“Hmmm.” Hélène huffed, “Fine, we won’t be too long anyway.” Just as she turned to leave, Kim cleared her throat.

Did Hélène actually think she was leaving this vessel without kissing her goodbye?

Hélène turned at the noise and smiled when Kim raised a questioning eyebrow. Crooking her finger, she beckoned Hélène to come back. The kiss they shared was slow and held a definite promise for more when Hélène returned. Kim’s legs almost buckled in anticipation.

JJ and Kim spent a delightful few hours drinking and chatting. The conversation spanned a myriad of topics, which Kim thoroughly enjoyed. JJ was an intelligent man. No wonder he was so successful. When the conversation hit a natural lull, Kim felt the atmosphere change.

“So…” John said, turning his head to Kim. Kim smiled internally. She now understood his reason for staying behind. He was going to do the whole big brother thing.

“So?” she replied confidently. He wouldn’t rattle her.

“You and Hélène.”

“Me and Hélène,” she repeated.

“Blimey, you’re not making this easy,” he laughed.

“Why would I? This is highly entertaining,” she grinned.

“I see why she likes you. You’re fiery, that’s for sure.”

“Is that a compliment?”

“Sure it is. Hélène needs someone with a bit of fire. She also needs someone who will use that fire to have her back,” he said pointedly.

Kim wondered how many of Hélène’s insecurities JJ was aware of.

“She does, and I will have her back, no matter what. Even if we don’t work out romantically, we’re friends.”

“Do you not think it will work out?” John asked with a frown.

“I can’t predict the future, JJ. You know I have baggage. I would be surprised if Hélène hasn’t told you about Greg.”

“She did, but I can’t see how that would be a problem. It’s over, right?”

“Yes, but I had a life with him—a life that I have to go home and deal with. It won’t be easy, and I don’t want Hélène to feel trapped. That’s a lot for a new relationship.”

“So, it’s a relationship, not just a fling?”

“Oh, no, it’s a relationship. As much as I tried to keep us casual, it’s definitely more than that.”

“Okay, that’s good to hear. Hélène deserves the best. I know she struggles with her association to me, and believe me when I say I hate it when she puts herself second. I see her do it every time she introduces someone to me. It doesn’t help her mum is who she is. Veronique was never good at boosting Hélène, so she learned to just stay quiet and out of the way.”

“That makes my blood boil,” Kim growled.

“Good, I’m glad. Like I said, Hélène needs that security with someone, and from the way you two have been behaving, I think she’s found it, just like you have found what you were looking for. Can I give you some advice?”

“Sure.” Kim didn’t know where this was going and it was certainly a heavy subject, but she was happy to hear what he had to say. JJ was the closest person to Hélène and the one who knew her the best.

“You might have baggage and things might be shitty, but what you have found with Hélène is rare. Take it from someone who had it and lost it. Life is wonderful all on its own, but living it with the person who was made just for you is priceless. No amount of uncertainty or fear is worth missing out on it. When you get home, talk to each other properly, work out how to be together. Because, Kim, from the way Hélène looks at you, you are her person.”

Kim was floored. That was one hell of a speech, and she had no idea what to do with it. The universe gave her no time to dwell, though, because the incoming call from Greg wouldn’t allow it. Kim looked from the phone to JJ, who gave her a kind smile before leaving her alone by the pool.

Taking a deep breath, she answered the phone. They hadn’t spoken since the incident at The Sapphire, and she wasn’t sure how she was supposed to feel. Relieved was one emotion because at least Greg was getting help from her parents. Anger was the other emotion, especially as she replayed the events of their last conversation.

“Hi,” she said cautiously.

“Kim, thank you for answering. I was afraid you wouldn’t.”

Kim noted he sounded much more like his old self. “Ignoring you won’t get us anywhere. How are you?”

“Desperately sorry. The way I treated you is unforgivable, and I understand completely if you never want to talk to me again.”

“I considered it. I’ll be honest, Greg, you scared me. The thing is, you’re my best friend and I want to help you, but I can’t do that as your girlfriend. I hope you can understand that.” It was important that she clarified their positions immediately.

“Honestly, I think it’s the right thing,” he sighed. “I was just hoping I hadn’t lost you completely. There are things we need to talk about—things I’d prefer to do in person. Would it be possible for you to come to your parents’ for a weekend? It’s not a good idea for me to be in Paris right now.”

Kim tilted her head to the sky. It seemed her perfect getaway was ending. Realistically, she knew she couldn’t stay away from home and everything else for much longer. The idea of leaving Connie made her heart sink. Leaving her perfect paradise with Hélène sounded like hell, but what choice did she have?

Travelling to England to hash things out with Greg sounded about as fun as contracting an STI, but she had to put that part of her life to bed. It would probably be better if she dealt with it in England. That way, Hélène wouldn’t be drawn into anything. Kim could return to Paris with a fresh start.

“Okay, I can come over, but it will have to be in a couple of weeks.”

“That’s great, really, Kim, thank you.” An uncomfortable silence filtered through the phone receiver. What was there to say? They still had a cloud of shit hanging over them.

“I’ll talk to you soon, okay,” she said lightly, not wanting Greg to feel dismissed.

“Alright, and Kim?”

“Yeah?”

“I really am sorry, and I love you.”

“I love you, too.” She pressed the end call button with a sigh and then stilled when she saw the look on Hélène’s face. Shit, she must have heard her tell Greg she loved him, and by the look of it, without knowing the context in the way it was said.

“Hélène—”

“Just wanted you to know I was back, but I obviously disturbed you, sorry. I’m going to shower for dinner.” And with that, Hélène turned and swiftly left. Kim let her head drop to her chest in defeat. So much for her having a relaxing day.

After downing the remains of her cocktail, Kim heaved her tired body up and headed for Hélène’s suite. In the space of a few hours, she’d faced her past, present, and most frighteningly, the possibility of her future, if she took what JJ said to heart.

Deep down, though, she saw how Hélène looked at her and she probably mirrored that look, too. But her past with Greg was what worried her the most at that moment. Hélène’s face had been gut-wrenching when Kim had looked up from the phone. Hélène looked stricken and Kim had been the one to cause that, which was unquestionably the worst feeling in the world.

The best thing to do, though, was to hash it out with Hélène now, not leave it to fester. Nothing good would come of that. She knocked on Hélène’s door. No reply. With the force of a rhino, Kim pounded on the door.

“Hélène, let me in,” she said forcefully.

The door opened, with Hélène looking chagrined. “Kim, I was just getting in the shower,” she said curtly.

Right, so this was how she was going to play it!

“The shower isn’t even running yet and you haven’t taken your clothes off, so my guess is you were ignoring me because you are upset you overheard me tell Greg I love him. About right?” Hélène grumbled something inaudible. “So, I’m right,” Kim continued, surging forward into the room.

“I’m not upset,” Hélène said weakly.

“Sure, you look simply chipper.” Kim rolled her eyes. “If you had heard the entire conversation, you would have heard me telling Greg we would not be getting back together.” Kim took a breath and waited for Hélène to respond. Hélène remained silent, looking at the floor. “Hélène, look at me.” Hélène pulled her focus to Kim’s eyes. “A few days ago, we decided we were giving this a try.” She pointed from Hélène to herself. “That hasn’t changed for me. Yes, I will see Greg. He is my oldest friend and we have history. I want to be there for him because he is going through something, but that does not mean that you come second. Do you hear me?” Kim desperately wanted Hélène to absorb her words and take them to heart because she meant every goddamn one of them.

“Okay,” Hélène mumbled, looking away from Kim.

Jesus, Kim couldn’t take that look anymore. It was as if someone had stomped on her dog or something. In a flash, Kim was standing in front of Hélène, holding her face in her palms. “Kiss me, please.”

Hélène’s face softened as she leaned forward and placed a delicate kiss on Kim’s lips. “Sorry,” she whispered against Kim’s mouth.

“Don’t say sorry, but next time, please don’t run away. Talk to me.”

“Okay.”

They kissed softly for a long time. Kim didn’t want to let Hélène go. Her emotions were feeling raw, and even though what she had just said to Hélène was true, the reality of having to juggle her feelings for Hélène, her past with Greg, and everything else in between weighed heavily.

Eighteen

T he last dive of their holiday was one of great excitement and sorrow. Hélène hated having to say goodbye to her friends and the crew of Connie , especially when she didn’t know when she would get to see them again.

JJ had extended his trip so Hélène and Kim could take the chopper back to Paris with him. He’d rearranged some meetings so he could spend a little more time with his sister in the city.

Hélène had a constant stream of anxiety running through her veins ever since she’d overheard Kim on the phone with Greg. Even though Kim had tried to put her mind at ease, her feelings were conflicted. She so desperately wanted to believe Kim; believe that whatever was going on between her and Greg wouldn’t come between them.

Hélène knew they had a lot of history, and it would take time for them to really work through their issues so they could get back to being best friends. That wasn’t her problem. Her problem was the goddamn universe, which always seemed to screw with her.

Kim was perfect in Hélène’s eyes and everything she could ask for, so it stood to reason Hélène would lose her eventually. Maybe it wasn’t rational thinking, but if she took her past into account, it was likely she was going to get hurt.

Instead of talking to Kim—which would have been the sensible and mature thing to do—Hélène buried her feelings deep down, deciding to put all her efforts into making the last days of their holiday the best they could be. Drinking, dancing, and laughing had been at the top of the bill every evening. It had been immensely gratifying to listen to Kim boast about her diving achievements and recount all her favourite parts.

JJ and Kim got on like a house on fire which warmed Hélène through to her bones, and the cherry on top had been Holly’s turnaround. Having her best friend back was wonderful. The back-and-forth banter between Holly and Kim was more than pleasing to witness. All in all, the choice to get away from the city and away from her lacklustre life for a while, had been a roaring success.

Connie set sail north. Hélène wanted them to stop at Calvi again to dive over the sunken bomber. The team had been more than happy to do it, especially Kim, who had kissed Hélène with such ferocity she had to stop herself from throwing Kim over her shoulder and dragging her back to her suite. Kim was an expert at riling Hélène up within seconds.

“Everyone ready?” Hélène called as they finished loading the Zodiac for the last time. The trip back up the coast had only taken a few hours and Hélène didn’t want to lose any more time, considering they would start their journey home early the next morning.

“All good, boss,” David shouted. Hélène cast an eye over the boat and the group one last time to make sure everything and everyone was where it should be. She let her eyes linger on Kim for a few seconds. What a difference a week made.

On their first dive, Kim had looked overly nervous and a little shy around the others, a stark contrast to Kim now, who lounged on the side of the boat, her wetsuit hanging by her waist, laughing at something Leo was saying.

There was no doubt Kim looked as if she had always belonged to the little diving family. As usual, Hélène’s heart gave a little flutter. It was the first time she’d ever been with someone who fit in so well with her and her friends. Shaking herself out of her thoughts, Hélène gunned the throttle, laughing when she saw JJ tumble from his perch.

“Drop anchor,” she shouted to David as they circled above the wreck. It had been years since she’d dived on the site. David threw the anchor over and began prepping for their dive. Today, they would go in two groups, which allowed everyone to dive.

“Kim, get suited, JJ too. David, Leo, and Holly, you good to go second?”

“Yeah, no probs,” Holly chimed. They worked quickly to get organised. Holly helped Kim with her vest and tank, whilst Leo helped JJ and David helped Hélène. They were ready in less than ten minutes.

“I’ll hit the water first, JJ you second, and then Kim. We’ll meet at the front of the boat. Everyone okay with that?” Two “okay” signs were given in response. Pulling her mask down and inserting her mouthpiece, Hélène rolled backwards and into the warm sea. There was no current and no wind. The surface was so still it looked like glass. Hélène made her way to the anchor point, keeping her eye on JJ and Kim as they entered the water.

“Everyone okay?” she asked as they convened.

“Good.”

“Ready,” Kim smiled. Hélène gave the sign to descend. Today would be one of Kim’s deepest dives. The wreck sat at twenty-seven metres, which was well within her capabilities. They made their way down slowly, stopping every few metres to allow their ears to adjust to the pressure.

The water was crystal clear. It was easy to see the shadow of the wreck approach as they sank further down. Hélène checked over her shoulder to make sure Kim and JJ were close by. She didn’t have to worry, though. Kim was right on her tail. JJ gently swam a little further back, taking his time to look at the wreck.

The bomber was in great shape, but it was an eerie sight to see. The history of a wreck was never lost on Hélène. It was a very sobering experience. The structure of the plane was almost intact. The propellers were still attached to the four engines.

The nose of the plane had been torn away, leaving the two pilot seats visible, which caused a chill to run through her body. Even though she’d dived on this site many times, the thought of the people who had been trapped in the plane as it went down left her horrified and solemn every time.

They circled the bomber several times, each circuit noting different things. Nature had well and truly taken over. The fish and coral flourished over nearly every inch of the metal carcass.

Noting that her air was getting low, Hélène signalled to JJ and Kim to end the dive. As usual, they ascended at a slow pace. There was no way she was letting their holiday end with one of them getting “the bends”. The sun’s heat hit Hélène’s face immediately as she broke the surface. None of them were overly chatty as they boarded the Zodiac, which wasn’t unusual after experiencing a dive like that.

“You okay?” Hélène asked Kim once they’d shed their wetsuits, flippers, and masks.

“That was…wow,” Kim replied forlornly.

“Yeah, it’s something.”

“I can’t imagine how scared those men must have been.”

“It’s unimaginable. It gets me every time I dive on it.”

“Thank you…for making sure we came back to see it.”

“You’re welcome. You know, Kim, I really hope you carry on diving after this. Not because I like it, but because you do. You’re a natural.”

“Oh, I’m definitely carrying on. I already googled diving clubs in Paris. Did you know they have them?”

“Yes, I did,” Hélène chuckled. She loved seeing Kim light up like an excitable child at Christmas. “C’mon, let’s get dry and have some rum whilst the others take their turn.”

Car horns and engines assaulted Hélène’s senses as she stepped out of the car JJ had hired to take her back to her apartment. Gone were the lazy days of Saint-Tropez and Corsica, gone were the cocktail hours looking out over the sea, and gone was her alone time with Kim. Strictly speaking, those weren’t completely gone. She hoped Kim would come over to her apartment for dinner, where they would most definitely have some quality alone time.

Holly had sent her off with the promise of a visit. Leo and David had given her and Kim a bear hug before waving them off. It was unlikely Hélène would see the boys until she was ready to set sail on Connie again. They would be off to their respective countries to work, now that the summer was done.

A message had come through halfway through their return journey from Sam, wanting Hélène to set up a drinks night. JJ had spent most of the time on the way back talking shop, which really pissed Hélène off. They hadn’t even got back to Paris and already she was feeling her stress levels rise. Thank God for Kim, who had held her hand the entire journey, shooting sympathetic looks as JJ yapped on about business.

Feeling weary from the day, Hélène climbed the stairs to her first-floor apartment slowly. She missed the sun, she missed the sea, and above all, she already missed Kim. They’d had a quick kiss goodbye after dropping her off and that was it.

For nearly three and a half weeks, they’d been inseparable. It was just the way Hélène liked it. Tomorrow, though, they would both be back at work.

Hopefully, Kim would take her up on the offer to come over this evening, but she wasn’t hopeful. Kim had looked just as tired, and Hélène also knew Kim going back to her apartment was bringing up some hard feelings for her.

Heaving her luggage up one flight of stairs had been more than enough to sap the last bit of Hélène’s energy. Normally, she would sort out her clothes as soon as she got home, but that would have to wait. The only thing Hélène wanted was a hot bath and a nice glass of wine.

Dumping her bags in her spare room, she set about checking her messages and post. One voice message snagged her attention: “Where are you? I thought you would be back from your little escapade by now. We need to talk about your behaviour at The Sapphire. I cannot begin to fathom the reason you were parading yourself around the foyer in your underwear, Hélène. I really thought we’d moved past this childishness. Why you need constant attention is beyond me. Call me back immediately.”

Hélène’s stomach clenched. Oh shit, she’d completely forgotten about the hotel stunt. It had taken a whopping thirty seconds for her mother’s message to drain away all her holiday cheer and relaxation. She could already feel her shoulders bunching as she thought of having to deal with Veronique.

There was nothing for it. She would have to call back and get it over with. If she waited any longer, she feared Veronique would turn up at her door, and that was the last thing she wanted.

“Mother,” Hélène chimed as the call connected.

“About time. Explain yourself,” Veronique spat. Hélène scrunched her eyes closed. The sound of her mother’s anger sent shivers down her spine.

“There is nothing to explain. It was a bit of fun at the beginning of my holiday. I tipped the staff well when I left. There was no damage.”

“No damage? What about the damage to my name and image? What will people think? Hélène, do you ever think of anyone else but yourself? Hmm?”

Hélène shook her head. Of course, her mother was only thinking about how it looked for her. “There was nobody of note in the foyer, only Thomas at the front desk. I was not streaking naked. It was a silly dare between friends, that’s it. You’re taking this way out of proportion.”

“When are you going to grow up?” her mother demanded.

“I have. I’ve changed a lot since you last lectured me, because you were right then, I needed to grow up. What happened at the hotel wasn’t like before. It was a silly way to de-stress.”

“I don’t know what to do with you.”

Hélène gritted her teeth. No matter what she did or said, it would never be good enough—not for Veronique Fucking DuBois. Hélène was just a constant letdown to her mother. Jesus, she was so tired of feeling like she wasn’t enough; not enough as a daughter, not enough as a partner, just not enough.

Hélène wasn’t sure what made it happen, but right then, as she listened to her mother breathing disapprovingly down the phone at her, Hélène snapped. “Stop,” she bellowed. “Stop talking right now. How dare you ask me what you’re going to do with me? You haven’t been interested in being my mother since the day I was born. I’m well aware of my failings, thanks to you. You were the first person to let me know how much of a disappointment I am,” she raged.

“I am sick of feeling less than. I have done my very best to make you notice me, and yes, that included acting out. Forgive me for wanting my mother to want to take an interest. Everything was in vain, though, wasn’t it? Unless it was to do with your fucking ‘brand’, you weren’t interested. I am worth more respect than you give. I am worth so much more than what you give me. Mother, I’m done. Until you are ready to make some changes, I don’t want to hear from you. Oh, and on one last note: There is absolutely no way my behaviour at The Sapphire will damage your precious image because not one person knows who I am to you. That’s how insignificant I am in your life.” Finished with her rant, Hélène ended the call.

Oh, shit.

She’d well and truly done it now. Hélène had never spoken to her mother that way before. But on reflection, it felt damn good. Yes, her initial reaction was to vomit, but after a few deep breaths, that feeling subsided and another emotion took over. Maybe for the first time ever, she’d shown herself some self-respect.

Her body wasn’t quite on the same page because the hand that held her mobile was trembling violently. What the hell should she do now? This was foreign territory. Hélène was used to her mum being the one to lose her shit and hang up, not the other way round.

A melodic rap on the door snapped her out of her anxiety riddled brain. Hélène whipped open the door, hoping Kim had turned up out of the blue to surprise her. It wasn’t, but it was one of Hélène’s favourite people.

“Sam, oh, it’s so good to see you.”

“Give me a squeeze. It feels like forever since we saw each other.” Hélène wasted no time pulling Sam into a hug. “You okay?” Sam must have sensed Hélène’s tense muscles. Her body felt as stiff as a plank.

“I think I just did something really stupid.”

“Haven’t you just got back? I wasn’t sure you’d be in. Sorry for just turning up. If I’m being honest, Anna sent me to get the gossip. She’s headed over to Kim’s as we speak.”

“Gossip?”

“Don’t play dumb. Did you really think Kim wouldn’t tell her best friend about you and her?”

“Er…”

“Ha! You should see your face right now. I cannot believe you didn’t call me!”

Merde! What was she supposed to do now?

Sam was staring her down, her eyebrow raised.

“I didn’t think interrupting your holiday was a good idea, that’s all.”

Sam scoffed. “Nice try. What’s the real reason?”

“Okay, fine. I thought it might be weird.”

“Why?”

“Anna is Kim’s best friend. It feels odd telling you about me and Kim, knowing she’s doing the same with Anna.”

“Ah, you’re worried we’re going to be comparing notes.”

“Yes, a little.”

“Look, you’re my friend. Whatever you tell me is between us and it stays that way unless you tell me differently. Yes, Anna told me you and Kim were becoming something more than friends, but she didn’t tell me anything else. I promise you have nothing to worry about. I just want to be there for you.”

It was a relief to have someone other than JJ to talk to. He was great, but he wasn’t a gay woman. He could only relate so much, and she certainly couldn’t share any sexy details with him.

“Oh, Sam, it’s been one hell of a holiday.”

“I gathered,” Sam laughed.

Hélène directed them to her living room. Thankfully, she’d done a deep clean a few days before going away and the place looked great. It wasn’t a large apartment. Honestly, the only big apartments available in Paris cost an arm and a leg to rent. Forget about buying, unless you were super rich.

It didn’t matter, though, Hélène loved her place. It was a two-bed, one-bath with a separate toilet. The rooms weren’t big, but they were just right for her. The second bedroom was her diving room. It was like a mini shop in there. Her wet suits hung from rails on the walls. Her flippers had their own hooks, as did her vest. The shelves that adorned every wall were stacked with all her gadgets and books. It was diving heaven.

The kitchen was miniscule, but the living room/dining room combo made up for it. It was a pretty decent size. The space easily held a full-sized family table, sofa, TV unit, and sideboard. The apartment faced a large courtyard, giving the occupant a pleasant view, especially in the summer when Hélène could leave the windows open. She’d lost count of the number of times she’d sat on her sofa, looking out over the courtyard with a nice glass of red.

Hélène sank into the couch, waiting for Sam to get comfortable at the other end. “Where should I start?” She had no idea what Anna had told Sam. It warmed her a little to think of Kim talking about her—as long as it was all good. That thought sent a little bolt of anxiety to her stomach.

“Well, the beginning is a pretty good place,” Sam smirked, causing Hélène to roll her eyes.

“Okay, so you know she got stranded at the hotel?” Sam nodded. “I offered her the spare room in my suite. No big deal. Anyway, we started talking and drinking and laughing. Kim is so much fun.”

“Oh, I know,” Sam laughed.

“Everything was just so easy with her. She listened to my problems, and I listened to hers. I couldn’t believe it was the first time we’d really spent any time together.”

“Me, too. Although looking back, you guys only really spoke through me or Anna.”

Hélène nodded in agreement.

“The first week was so much fun, I offered for her to come along on my diving trip. God, Sam, we had a blast. Kim is great in the water. She’s also ridiculously smart and she’s funny and adventurous.”

“So, when did it turn into something more?”

“On the boat. We’d been flirting since the beginning, but I wouldn’t have done anything about it. Kim’s going through some stuff and I wasn’t about to add to her troubles. But then…”

“Then…”

“She kissed me.”

“What did you do? Did you kiss her back?”

“I did, but then it was over and she went to bed. The next day she adorably tried to talk to me, but she was nervous. She knocked her orange juice everywhere and then hid in her room. I went to speak to her and…well…let’s just say things developed.”

“Developed,” Sam chuckled. “That’s how you’re going to describe banging each other?”

“Banging, really, you think that’s better?” Hélène laughed.

“Better than ‘developed’ for Christ’s sake.”

“Anyway…we ‘banged’ for the rest of the holiday.”

“Wow.”

“You can say that again.”

“So, what now? Did you talk about what would happen when you got home?”

“We said we’d give it a go. I know she has stuff to sort out and it won’t be easy…” Hélène trailed off as she remembered Kim on the phone with Greg. Her heart thumped a little harder.

“Hey, what’s that face? You just went all pale.”

Hélène shifted in her seat. Should she voice her concerns? Would it make a difference?

“Hey, c’mon, tell me what’s wrong.”

“There’s just a lot for Kim to work through, and I’m not certain that she’s in the place to start something with me. I really like her and I think I’m already further down the road as far as feelings are concerned, than she is.”

“I know about the thing with Greg. Well, I know they broke up and that his behaviour was way out of line. Anna was fuming after Kim told her.”

“Yeah, understandably, so was I. The thing is, they’re best friends, as in they have grown up together. Kim is going to want to be there for him. It’s just who she is, which is admirable. My worry is once Greg has sorted himself out, Kim will want to be with him again. They have so much history, Sam, I can’t compete.”

Sam sat silently for a minute. Hélène could see she was processing. “Have you voiced your worries to Kim?”

Nope. She had not, and she wasn’t going to. That would put pressure on Kim, which was unfair. “No, and I’m not going to yet. Like I said, she’s coping with a lot. She doesn’t need me adding on.”

“Talking about how you feel isn’t ‘adding on’. You can’t keep what you’re feeling hidden. You saw the mess I made when I did that. I almost lost Anna. Don’t make the same mistake.”

Hélène could understand where Sam was coming from. The massive difference between what had happened with Sam and Anna was that they were desperately in love but were afraid. That wasn’t the case with her and Kim, was it? No, no, Hélène wasn’t afraid—or in love—she was just cautious. The last thing she needed was to invest her heart, only to be let down again. Yes, it wasn’t fear, just regular old caution.

Nineteen

K im had been sitting on the sofa for an hour, simply staring at the room in front of her. Nothing had changed and yet everything had. The apartment felt cold and lonely without Greg there.

The warmth and light that had encompassed Kim since Saint-Tropez had vanished as she’d stepped through the door to her apartment. She’d been riding a high for weeks, only to come crashing down from the reality that lay in front of her. Greg was gone, and Kim was alone for the first time since she was a teenager.

The apartment was in disarray. Greg had left dirty dishes everywhere, cartons of half-eaten Chinese food, and several dirty glasses on the coffee table. The blinds and curtains had been drawn, making everything feel dark and dingy. The warm home that Kim had left three weeks ago now felt cold and unwelcoming.

Buzzing from her pocket finally shifted her out of her almost catatonic state. How could things have gone so wrong?

Anna

Nearly at your place. See you soon.

Kim didn’t even have the energy to panic about Anna seeing her home in such a state. What would be the point? Anna knew things had gone sideways with Greg. She knew about Hélène, so no need to hide this.

A light tapping on the door, followed by the unmistakable sound of a key entering the lock, drew Kim to her feet. Anna had been given a key months ago and Kim was more than happy for her friend to come and go as she pleased.

“Hey, you,” Anna called sweetly.

Kim stood rooted to the floor. Her voice had abandoned her and her throat felt thick with emotion. Anna rounded the corner and entered the living room.

Kim saw her misstep as she took in the state of the apartment. Anna’s eyes grew big and a wash of emotion swept across her face. That was enough for Kim to break. The weight of everything became too much as she looked into Anna’s eyes. Tears rolled down her face, her breath caught short. She braced herself as Anna marched over and took her in her arms.

“Shhhh,” she cooed. Kim struggled to take a breath. She felt like she might hyperventilate. “Slow breaths in, Kim.” Kim willed herself to calm down. Finally, she drew in some deep breaths. “Let’s get out of here. Come with me.”

They stepped into Kim’s favourite café a few minutes later. The noise was as welcome as a hot bath on a winter’s night. Kim had only been in her apartment for an hour, but the silence had been deafening.

“Drink this.” Kim looked at the tea Anna placed in front of her. When did she get that? In fact, how long had they been in the café? Anna sat silently, watching her, waiting for her to say something. So far, she’d only sobbed.

“Thank you.” Well, that was a start.

“Stupid question, but are you alright?”

“No, not really. Walking into my home, finding it like that, was devastating. Just another reminder the man I have spent most of my life with has changed, and I don’t know why. I spoke to him just before we returned home. He wants to talk to me and explain. I’ve just got back off the best holiday of my life with the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, and I’m trying to work out what that all means. The time away was supposed to help me figure everything out, but I’m more confused than ever.” Kim inhaled sharply. She’d reeled everything off in one long and frantic rant.

“That’s a lot.” Anna reached over and took her hand that was resting on the table. “How can I help?”

“I’ve no idea, doll. It’s just too much to wade through.”

“Okay, no, we can do this. Let’s break it down. One thing at a time. Starting with the Greg situation.”

“I spoke to him briefly before leaving Connie .”

“Connie ?”

“The boat is called Connie . Anyway, he asked if I could travel to my parents’ so we could talk. He sounded better than the last time we spoke. It seems he wants to stay away from Paris for a while.”

“That’s a good first step. Speak to him.”

“I’ll book something for the long weekend.”

“Okay, so that’s planned. Next is the whole Hélène situation.”

“We’ve decided to date—give the relationship a try.”

“Okay, so what’s complicated about that, then?”

“Nothing, but when you mix it with the Greg situation, everything changes. Being on a boat in the middle of the Mediterranean was wonderful, but we were in a cocoon. There were no real-life pressures to deal with.”

“Are you having second thoughts about a relationship with her?”

“No!” Kim almost shouted her response. The last thing she wanted was to stop seeing Hélène, but the fact of the matter was everything just got a lot more complicated. She wasn’t sure if Hélène was going to want to deal with it all.

“I like her, Anna, like, I really like her. But what if dealing with all my shit proves to be too much? I mean, we’ve been dating for a short amount of time, you know? Jesus, Anna, we haven’t actually been out on a proper date.”

“Alright, so go out on a date then. Yes, at some point, your worlds are going to collide. Greg and Hélène will have to coexist, but you have time. It’s what, two weeks until the long weekend, so why not take that time to be with Hélène? Feel out the situation. Date her. Talk to her. Hopefully, by the time you have to visit Greg, you will be in a clearer headspace.”

Kim nodded as she contemplated what Anna was saying. Maybe if she just broke it down, dealt with one thing at a time, everything would work out. Was she being naïve? Possibly, but what was the alternative?

“Thanks, doll. God, it’s great to see you. Sorry you’ve had to swoop in and deal with this.”

“Stop. You did more than your fair share of listening and guiding when I needed it. I’m here for you, okay?”

“Okay. Now tell me all about Texas.”

Kim’s problems were far from fixed, but she felt the tiniest bit better after talking to Anna.

After a pleasant hour spent chatting with Anna, Kim found herself on the outside of her apartment looking at her front door. The thought of staying there filled her with dread. All she wanted was to go back to those lazy days spent in bed with Hélène as they cruised along the Mediterranean. Could she call Hélène? Maybe ask to see her?

Kim

Hey, what are you up to right now?

Hélène

Sam just left, so now I am doing laundry. Living like a rock star.

Kim smiled, as a warm, comforting feeling surrounded her heart as she thought of Hélène doing her laundry. Thinking of Hélène doing anything, no matter how mundane, made her feel a thousand times better.

Kim

Would you like some company? I have mad folding skills.

Hélène

How could I possibly turn down ‘mad folding skills’? I’d love to see you. Dinner?

Kim

Great. See you soon xx.

It took Kim just over an hour to tidy up her apartment. Even though she wasn’t planning to stay, she couldn’t leave it in such a state. After a quick shower and a change of clothes, she was already feeling more like herself again.

A slight quiver of nerves rumbled through her stomach. Would they fit so seamlessly outside of their holiday bubble?

The taxi pulled up to Hélène’s apartment building half an hour later. Kim wrapped her worries into a nice little box and stored it at the very back of her mind. All she wanted was to relax and feel Hélène’s warmth.

Kim crossed the courtyard, which was brimming with flowers. Someone obviously took good care of the landscaping. Hélène had told Kim which apartment was hers, so as she crossed to the door, she looked up to see Hélène standing by her double windows, sporting a smile that made everything feel okay in the world. Kim sucked in a good lungful of air. The mere sight of Hélène sent her into a whirlwind of excitement, happiness, nerves, and longing.

The door buzzed open without Kim having to press anything. Hélène was just as keen to see Kim by the looks of things. The stairs leading to the first floor were spiral, and each step squeaked under foot. The inside was a little dated and the place could do with a touch of paint.

As she rounded that last bend of the stairs, she caught sight of Hélène in her doorway, leaning on the doorframe. She was dressed in cutoff joggers and a worn-out T-shirt. It was the first time Kim had seen her looking so ordinary. Before their holiday, Kim had met Hélène in person a handful of times, and each time, she was clad in designer skirt suits. In Saint-Tropez and Corsica, she was either in a wetsuit or a bikini.

Seeing Hélène like this, completely comfortable, was breathtaking. Kim wanted to push her inside, slam the door closed, and take her up against it immediately. She didn’t do that—she had some restraint. Kind of. Instead of fulfilling her fantasy, she stepped into Hélène’s embrace, hugged her tightly, and then kissed her deeply.

Once they had kissed themselves breathless, Hélène pulled back, guiding Kim inside. The apartment was on the small side, but it fit Hélène perfectly. Why that was Kim didn’t know, she just felt it.

Kim dropped her bag by the door. She’d put an extra pair of knickers in there, just in case. Hélène wandered off into another room, allowing Kim time to peruse her space. The walls were littered with pictures of Hélène and her friends on diving trips and nights out, and several of Hélène with John and a woman Kim presumed must have been Claire.

Slowly, she made her way through to where Hélène had disappeared. Kim giggled as she looked at Hélène perched on the sofa with a pile of washing that was almost as tall as her.

“Jeez, you weren’t kidding, doll.”

“I never joke about washing. I hope you brought those folding skills you were bragging about.”

“Like you and washing, I never joke about folding. Stand back, H, you are about to witness a master at work.” With a smirk, Kim ushered Hélène out of the way and set about folding.

“You know I was joking right? I did not expect you to come here and do my laundry.” Hélène looked taken aback that Kim was actually sitting, folding her clothes.

“The faster this is done, the faster I get to relax with you, so it’s in my interest to chip in. Why don’t you open some wine? You’ll only slow me down.” Kim shot Hélène a grin and a little wink, causing Hélène to chuckle as she left the living room in search of wine.

Clinking and thumping came from the kitchen. Kim happily sat folding away. She really was a pro. The sound of music drifted through the apartment. Hélène reappeared with two glasses of wine. The surprise on her face when she saw the neat pile of washing folded on the table made Kim chuckle.

“That would have taken me an hour.” She placed the wine on the coffee table, her eyes still trained on the clothes. Kim smiled internally. It felt good to impress her.

“Well, it’s done now, so we can relax. Sit with me, please.”

Hélène dropped into the seat, her body pressed close to Kim’s. Clearly, their chemistry transferred to dry land. “Are you alright?” Hélène asked so softly Kim almost missed it. Should she tell Hélène that she was, in fact, not okay? “Don’t hide from me, Kim. Let me in.” Well, that decided that then.

“Greg trashed the apartment. It was…it was a shock to walk into.” Kim’s shoulders sagged.

“Hey,” Hélène cooed, tipping Kim’s chin up to meet her eyes, “it’s okay to feel what you’re feeling. I know it’s complicated and you have a lot to sort out with him, but you have to let yourself feel whatever’s running through you. Yes, he’s your best friend, but he hurt you and it’s okay to feel angry. He trashed your house, which I can only imagine felt jarring. A home is your safety, your comfort. At least mine is.”

With just a few words, Hélène had pinpointed exactly what was running through Kim’s mind. She was completely conflicted. Greg was so important to her she felt bad about having less than friendly thoughts about him. But why shouldn’t she? He’d messed up, and Kim couldn’t help feeling angry.

“Listen, why don’t I order some food? Let’s just relax tonight. It’s been a really long day, and I don’t know about you, but I’m beat.”

Music to Kim’s ears. “That sounds wonderful.”

Hélène smiled, leaned down, and gently kissed her. “Wait there and drink your wine.” An order that Kim would happily obey.

Hélène skipped out of the room. The music became a little louder. Soft jazz soothed Kim’s ears. Before long, she slipped off her heels, laid back on the sofa, and watched as the sky faded through Hélène’s window.

The squeak of floorboards drew her attention back to the room. Hélène stood by the door, beckoning Kim to follow her. Maybe the food had arrived, and she’d not heard the door.

Holding Hélène’s hand, she allowed herself to be guided through to Hélène’s bedroom and then through to the bathroom. The sweet smell of coconut permeated the air. The soft flicker of tea lights that had been strategically placed around the room gave off a warm and cosy light. Hélène stood aside as she pulled Kim further into the room. The bathtub had been filled. Kim looked at Hélène. Had this woman actually run her a bubble bath?

“I thought that maybe a soak would help you relax. Here, look.” Hélène gestured to the glass of wine that sat on a small table at the head of the bath. “You could just have a bath and relax with some wine. I have books too if you’d like.”

“You ran me a bath?” Kim still couldn’t compute what she was seeing.

“Oh, yes, is that…was that a bad idea?”

A bad idea? This was the single most romantic thing Kim had ever had done for her. “This is perfect.” Her response came out as a whisper. She moved into Hélène’s space, taking her face gently in her palms. “Thank you.”

The kiss was supposed to be a “Thank you for this wonderful bath” kiss, but it quickly turned into an “I’m going to fuck you in this bath” kiss. Kim wasted no time stripping Hélène of her T-shirt. It didn’t seem Hélène minded too much, not by the way she was cupping Kim’s arse. Piece by piece, their clothing hit the floor.

“Get in,” Hélène breathed. Kim had forgotten about the bath entirely. Her mind was one hundred percent on getting her head between Hélène’s perfect thighs. “Kim?” Hélène laughed.

“Sorry, you distracted me.”

“I distracted you, huh?”

Kim lowered herself into the water. It was deliciously hot, and the smell made her head swim wonderfully. The muscles in her back seemed to melt as she lay her head back. One thing was missing, though: Hélène. “Aren’t you getting in?”

“I will in a minute, but first I want you to relax.” Kim was about to protest until she saw Hélène snake her hand into the water, caressing her inner leg.

“Why, Ms DuBois, are you trying to seduce me?”

“Is it working?”

“You know damn well it is. I hope you plan on touching me soon, doll, because I’m not sure I can wait.”

“Oh, and what exactly will you do if I make you wait?”

Kim loved this flirty back and forth. Hélène could hook and reel her in with just a few words; however, Kim was also pretty good at playing the game, too. She loved being able to take the power and watch Hélène become a puddle of want and lust.

With a wicked grin, Kim slid her hand between her own legs, cupping herself. Hélène’s eyes grew to the size of saucers. Her breathing hitched and a little growl escaped her throat. “If you make me wait, I’ll take things into my own hands.”

Kim wondered if her sexy plan had backfired when Hélène withdrew her hand from the bathwater. Undeterred, Kim slid her fingers between her folds.

Unsurprisingly, she was beyond aroused. Her fingers glided up and down effortlessly. What surprised her was Hélène scooting away until her back hit the opposite wall. Kim watched eagerly as Hélène spread her legs and brought her fingers to her clit.

Was this really fucking happening?

“How does it feel?” Kim didn’t recognise her own voice.

“Keep touching yourself.” Hélène’s eyes bored into her.

Kim picked up the pace of her fingers, all the time watching Hélène’s skilled hands draw small light circles around her own sex. Both women were breathless as they continued to watch each other get off.

“I’m gonna come, H.”

“Come now,” Hélène demanded. That authoritative voice was enough to send Kim over. Her body slid down the tub as her eyes slammed shut. Her orgasm radiated in pulses from her stimulated clit. A loud cry echoed around the bathroom. Hélène followed shortly after. She was almost lying on the bathroom floor by the time her body had come down from her climax.

“Will you get in the bath now?” Kim pulled herself back into a sitting position, her face warm and glowing. Her legs felt heavy and her body felt sated. Still, she wanted Hélène. She wanted to feel her body.

On wobbly legs, Hélène heaved herself off the floor and slid into the bath behind Kim, her arms pulling them close together. What had started as a frenzied sexcapade finished in an intimate embrace. They stayed wrapped in each other’s arms until the water became cold.

“Let’s get dressed and eat,” Hélène mumbled in her ear, nipping at her lobe.

They left the warmth of the bathroom and went into Hélène’s bedroom. Hélène produced a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt for Kim, which were ridiculously long on Kim’s short frame, but she didn’t care because they smelled of Hélène.

They sat together in the living room, snuggled on the couch until their food arrived. With the lights dimmed and the music softly playing in the background, they spent the evening in beautiful silence. Now and then, they would kiss and hold each other tighter. Hélène had refilled their wine and turned on her little gas fire to add to the ambience. This was what Kim needed. Somehow, Hélène had plucked the perfect scenario out of Kim’s mind and made it a reality.

“Shall we go to bed?” Hélène kissed Kim’s temple as she spoke. They hadn’t discussed if Kim was going to stay over.

“Okay.” Slowly, they extracted their limbs. Kim waited for Hélène to stand, before taking her hand and following her to the bedroom. As if it were the most normal thing in the world, they stood by the sink, Hélène handing Kim a spare toothbrush, Kim adding toothpaste to both brushes.

Anyone would think they’d been doing this for years. It had been the same on Connie . By the end of the trip, they’d stayed together every night, forming a routine. That routine had obviously carried over to the real world as well.

They slid beneath the covers, Kim backing herself into Hélène’s body. Their breaths evened out and became heavier as they fell asleep.

A gentle brush against her cheek roused Kim. Her body was so warm and comfy she fought to keep her eyes closed, but it was no use. Her face split into a smile as Hélène continued to caress her face.

“Morning.”

“Well, finally,” Hélène mock huffed, pushing herself into Kim a little harder. Kim laughed at Hélène’s sulky whine.

“Can I do something for you?”

“Oh, there’s a loaded question.”

“You’re doing something for me. Keep rolling your hips like that and I’m going to have a fabulous start to the day.” Kim felt Hélène’s body convulse with silent laughter. Her hips rolled a little deeper. Kim reached back and grabbed Hélène’s arse possessively. Her leg lifted, allowing Hélène to insert her own. Just as the night before in the living room, they remained silent. Their bodies were doing all the talking.

Hélène gripped Kim’s hips, rolling hard as the friction between them built. Kim knew Hélène would be sporting a soaked leg as they continued to grind. Their releases came abruptly. Hélène’s hand had found its way to Kim’s nipple. The feeling of her pinching and rolling almost sent her straight into a second orgasm.

“Mmm, now that’s a good morning.” Kim rolled over to face Hélène once their breathing had settled.

“Sorry to have woken you.”

Kim couldn’t help laughing. Hélène’s face did not agree with her statement at all. “No complaints from me, sugar.” They kissed delicately.

“I hate to say it, but I have to get ready for work.” Hélène looked genuinely gutted that she was going to have to leave the comfort of her bed. She looked downright stricken when Kim rolled on her back, the sheet dropping, leaving her breasts exposed. “Maybe I could take an extra day,” she mumbled as her face dropped to take a nipple in her mouth.

Kim laughed at Hélène’s rapidly dissolving self-restraint. Neither was going to make it into the office today.

Twenty

S wivelling in an office chair was rather relaxing. It was a little meditative. The back-and-forth motion lulled Hélène into a quiet state of calm. And, boy, did she need a state of calm. The week had turned into an emotional clusterfuck.

The delightful—and very satisfying—night she’d spent with Kim seemed like a lifetime ago, when in fact it had been six days and seven hours. But who’s counting? Hélène. Hélène was counting because she would give anything to rewind the clock so that she could still be nestled between Kim’s magnificent breasts instead of in her office, pondering the past week of shittiness.

The first point of disquiet was Kim’s announcement she was going to the UK a week earlier than expected because Greg seemed down. Kim and Greg had got back into a routine of messaging each other again and again over the week. Kim had become more and more restless, not knowing the full story of Greg’s sudden downward spiral.

She’d booked a last-minute flight to London. No problem, right? Well, only if you discount the fact Kim had failed to realise—or maybe she did and found it not important enough to consider—she’d made pretty specific plans with Hélène and hadn’t involved her in the decision to leave the country, at all.

Hélène had bitten her tongue to keep her frustration at bay. Maybe it was for the best? The sooner Kim was there, the sooner she could sort it all out and come back. That line of thinking had become Hélène’s mantra since Kim left. It was a pretty useless mantra in all fairness, though, because Hélène couldn’t stop herself from overthinking.

The thought of Kim being close to Greg sent bile shooting up her throat. Would he hurt her? Would he worm his way back? Would Kim realise she still loved him? Those questions sent terror shooting around her body like a bloody pinball machine.

Feeling in a constant state of stress was exhausting. Jesus, they’d only been together a few short weeks and already Hélène felt overwhelmed. Talking to Kim, or talking to anyone, would probably be the healthiest way to deal with her internal meltdown, but she just couldn’t do it. Putting that on anyone else was unfair.

Once she’d received Kim’s text she’d arrived at the airport safely, Hélène’s mental health took a nosedive into a rabbit hole of insecurity and anxiety. If Kim was eventually going to disappear, maybe Hélène should just cut her losses now?

Even though Kim had constantly tried to reassure her, it did little to assuage her nerves. However, the thought of willingly walking away from someone as perfect as Kim seemed utterly ridiculous. What the hell should she do?

Second point of disconcertment: JJ announcing he had found a woman to impregnate. Putting all the “Kim confusion” aside, Hélène had to face the fact her brother was going ahead with having a baby, which scared the life out of her.

Was he ready? Could he really cut back his work and look after a child? Was the baby going to be predisposed to the DuBois shitty character traits? Okay, so those weren’t reasons for her to be spinning out. It was not like she was the one having a baby, but she worried nonetheless.

Third—and possibly the most disturbing—point of perturbation was Veronique calling her up two days ago, three sheets to the wind, crying down the phone, calling herself a failure, begging Hélène to pick up the phone; which she did not do. No chance in hell she was going to try to talk down a drunk Veronique DuBois.

Hélène had never seen—or heard—her mother be so self-deprecating. Honestly, she didn’t think her mother cared enough to feel so bad. After thirty-plus years of parental neglect, how was she supposed to reconcile everything her mum had said? Could she believe Veronique wanted to do better? Was she really proud of Hélène? Who the fuck knew?

Hélène needed to double her therapy sessions after listening to Veronique describe, in detail, the reason she’d slept with Hélène’s father, therefore producing Hélène nine months later and furthermore, the reason she’d married him. Nobody needed to know Phillipe was a good lay, nobody !

Fourth point—admittedly less contentious and more exciting—was Holly calling to say she had an amazing opportunity for Hélène. Turns out, Holly had done some serious thinking after their holiday. Apparently, she’d been unhappy for a while and she wanted to settle down doing something she loved. A friend of hers was selling his diving centre in the south of Corsica. Holly had jumped at the chance to buy it off of him and hoped Hélène would join her as a partner.

Over the years, they’d spoken dozens of times about opening their own business. Diving was more than a hobby. It was their passion. As soon as Holly had laid out the plan, Hélène wanted to do it. She’d been working in an office for too long. As much as she enjoyed the people she worked with, the job was slowly killing her spirit.

John and Kim were the only things that gave her pause. John had done so much for her. She didn’t want to let him down and now with his plan for a baby. How could she ask him to search for a replacement for her and then move even farther away?

Then there was Kim. That presented a whole new set of issues she didn’t want to think about right now. Thankfully, Holly had given Hélène plenty of time to give her an answer. Either way, Holly was set to follow her dream.

All of that had happened within three days. It was a lot.

Her stomach protested at the constant movement. Halting her swing, she glanced at her watch. Kim would nearly be in the UK now. They’d promised to call and text, but already Hélène’s skin felt itchy with anxiety. Great, was she going to feel like this until Kim came back?

If she comes back .

Hélène jumped as her phone rang out. Kim’s name scrolled across her screen. “Hey, did you make it okay?” She put every effort into making her voice sound relaxed.

“Ugh, I hate budget airlines. It’s like they think the general population has no need for legs. And that’s coming from someone who is small. I practically had my knees wedged into my boobs the entire flight.”

“They’re very comfortable boobs, though.”

“Ms DuBois, really. Here I am trying to get on my high horse about air travel and all you can do is compliment my rack.”

“So sorry, please continue with your rant. I’ll just think about your boobs in my head.”

Kim’s delicious laughter filtered down the line. Hélène smiled wildly, knowing she’d caused it.

“I suppose it makes me feel better knowing my girlfriend is objectifying me from afar.”

“I think that’s the first time a woman has enjoyed me objectifying her.”

“Well, this woman will never say no to a good ego boost, so objectify away, sugar.”

It was Hélène’s turn to laugh. Just a few words from Kim and all Hélène’s insecurities and worries melted away. For now, at least.

“Is someone meeting you at the airport?”

Please not Greg, please not Greg .

“Yeah, my dad, probably Mum too.”

“Where are you now?”

“I have literally just stepped off the plane. I wanted to hear your voice.”

“That makes me happy to hear. Will you call me tonight before you go to sleep?” Hopefully, Hélène didn’t sound too needy. Oh, well.

“You better believe your tight arse I’m gonna call. I need to see that beautiful face of yours before I can sleep. Hey, maybe we could…”

“Could?”

“Give each other something to dream about?”

“Kimberley, are you suggesting phone sex?”

“Please don’t call me Kimberley. It’s like my mother just entered the room and believe me, she’s the last person I want to be thinking about right now. Not when there’s the prospect our late-night call might turn sexy.”

Hélène had never had phone sex before. The idea was titillating, but would she be able to do it? What the hell did you say to someone to get them off over the phone?

Oh Jesus, now she was overthinking it. It’s not like she didn’t know how to satisfy a woman. She’d never had a problem in that department, but doing it over the phone felt intimidating.

“You’re panicking, aren’t you?” Kim made the statement with no judgment.

“No, no, it’s just…um…well, I haven’t done that before. I know—it’s shocking, right?”

“I haven’t either.”

Kim’s confession stumped Hélène. “Really?”

“Really. Look, I don’t want to talk about our experiences with other people, but it’s safe to say, my experience isn’t vast.”

“Okay, well, let’s try it then. We can muddle through together.”

“It’s a date. A very weird date that will take place in my childhood bedroom with my parents down the hall.”

“You’ll just have to bite a pillow.” Hélène laughed at the visual. Kim was not a quiet person in bed. Not at all.

“Wow, that’s some confidence right there, Ms DuBois.”

“Unless you want me to explain right now how I’m going to get you to the point of screaming, I suggest we end this conversation.”

Amazingly, Hélène’s confidence had skyrocketed the moment Kim had started their playful banter. This phone sex thing was going to be a cinch. Kim’s heavy breathing proved her point.

“Yes, I think you’re right. Jesus, I’m turned on and now have to go hug my parents.”

“You started it,” Hélène chuckled.

“Yeah, and you better finish it this evening. I’ll call you later.”

“Okay, be safe… I… Speak soon.” Hélène almost threw the phone across the room. She’d nearly said those three words, you know, the ones that would have ruined everything because they were no way near the point in their relationship where those words were acceptable. Was she actually losing her mind?

Merde .

Budget reports were put on this earth to slowly suck the souls out of anyone who gazed upon them.

I think I would actually prefer watching paint dry .

Hours and hours of Hélène’s life had flitted away whilst she stared at her screen. The other option to pass the time until her evening rendezvous with Kim was to look at scheduling. Oh, or payroll. Fuck my life .

Hélène’s brain was saved from melting by a ping on her work phone. It was an email from Otis Perez, her mother’s assistant.

Dear Hélène,

Veronique requests your presence tonight at 8pm.

Usual restaurant.

Cordialement

Otis Perez

Hélène slowly let her head thunk on the desk. Life was really testing her right now. The last thing in the world Hélène wanted to do was sit through an excruciating dinner with her mother.

Maybe she could call JJ and ask him to fake an emergency. Even though Veronique wasn’t his mother, she was always there for him when he needed her. If only she would show Hélène the same loyalty.

There was no way out of it. If she refused, she’d risk her mother’s wrath, or worse, a visit. She quickly fired off a reply, accepting her invitation. It was going to be a long night.

The first thing Hélène noticed when she entered the very ostentatious restaurant her mother loved so much was that Veronique was not sitting at her usual table in the middle of the room where she was bound to get all the attention she craved. Because, you know, without being the centre of the universe, what was the point in life, right?

Instead, Hélène saw her mother waving from the back of the dining hall.

Well, this is new .

“Mother.” Hélène’s standard greeting was met with a look of…something. Pain, maybe?

“Hélène, dear.” Veronique stood and kissed her daughter on each cheek.

“Did your old table offend you?” Hélène wasn’t trying to be an arse, but it was difficult to rein her tone in.

“I thought we could use a little privacy.”

“Ah, I see. You don’t want everyone to watch as you scold me. Bad for the brand.” Wow, Hélène was going into full bitch mode.

“I understand why you would think that, but it’s not true, I assure you. I have no desire to scold you or fight with you.”

Hélène sat silently, eyeing her mother’s face, looking for some evidence she was lying. The one thing Hélène knew was Veronique could change her mood in a flash. She needed to keep her shield up, no matter how much she wanted to believe the honesty that radiated off her mother. “So, what do you need?”

“To talk and to apologise. I shouldn’t have called you the other night. It was—”

“Horrifying. That’s the word you are looking for.”

“Yes, I’m a little mortified, if I’m being honest. Otis enjoyed regaling me with the conversation.”

“Well, at least someone found it entertaining.”

“Hélène. What I said shouldn’t have been said when I was drunk; however, that doesn’t mean everything I said was false. Forget everything I said about your father, though.”

“I would have to bleach my brain for that to happen, but I’m making a valiant effort to believe it just never happened.”

For the first time in…forever, Veronique laughed out loud. A full bark of amusement shattered the thick air between them. Hélène couldn’t stop the smirk that formed on her lips.

“Yes, I think that’s a smart approach.”

“Okay, I’m listening, Maman .”

Using “Maman ” caused Veronique’s eyes to well up. “It’s been years since you have called me that.”

“It’s been years since I felt I could.”

Veronique nodded. “Yes, I can see why.” She cleared her throat. “I’ve had a run of poor health recently.” Hélène sat up straight. “I had to have a minor procedure to have a lump removed.”

“When?”

“Last month.”

“Why are you only telling me now?”

“Honestly, I didn’t think to tell you.”

Hearing those words hurt more than Hélène could say. She’d always known her mother was uninterested in her, but to hear that she wasn’t even a thought in her mother’s mind was heartbreaking.

“I understand your anger and hurt.”

“Who said I was either of those?” Hélène said defiantly. Like hell she was going to wilt now.

“Mon coeur , it’s all over your face. I hurt you with my words. I’m sorry, truly I am. After the procedure, I started to see things differently; my actions, the way I live my life.” Veronique shifted in her chair, her gaze drifting to the table. “The conclusion I came to was chilling. I am my mother—cold, distant, unloving to the ones that should have all my love.”

Of all the things Hélène was expecting, this heartfelt confession was not one of them. Was she being punked?

“You won’t remember your grandmother very well, and that’s by design.” Veronique had lifted her gaze back to Hélène. “She was a horrid woman with a heart of stone. Nothing I did was good enough in her eyes.”

Well, doesn’t that sound fucking familiar?

“She never wanted children. I was a mistake. She reminded me constantly my existence had ruined her life. I left when I was old enough and had enough money. It took years of hard work and dedication, but I succeeded. I built an empire worthy of her respect. Foolishly, I thought she would love me if I could just prove myself to her.”

Oui, very familiar.

“Of course, I was wrong. Even after she died, I could still hear her vicious voice in my head. I vowed to be different. I vowed to be nothing like her, but to my utter shame, I have turned out to be her replica.” She sniffed as tears threatened to fall. “I can’t give you a reason, Hélène. I can only say how very sorry I am. You were and are wanted. I loved you from the moment I knew you were growing inside me. I’m not sure where it went so wrong.”

Hélène was struggling to breathe. She’d waited for this moment for decades and now it was here she had no words. “I…”

“Please let me finish. I think I clung to my work so desperately because I was still trying to prove her wrong. In doing so, I cast you aside, just as she did to me. Getting a healthy dose of my mortality shook something loose. I pictured my funeral. I pictured all of my ‘friends’ standing by my grave, mourning.”

This was a lot .

“But the one person I couldn’t see was you. It terrified me to believe my only daughter would shun my funeral because of how I had treated her. I never went to my mother’s. I couldn’t put all the pain and hurt behind me. She didn’t deserve my presence. I would be devastated if I had the same effect on you.” Veronique reached over and took Hélène’s hand. “As part of my treatment, I was offered counselling, which I accepted. The night I called you about The Sapphire incident was the wake-up call I needed. I hadn’t even called you to reprimand you. I called to see if you wanted to meet for dinner so I could tell you about my health issues. I got the message about the hotel incident just before I called. It’s inexcusable, but the old me took what I’d learned and berated you as usual.” Veronique shook her head in shame. “I can do better, Hélène, I can. I am not ashamed to have you as my daughter. Nothing means more to me than you.”

Brain injury would explain Hélène’s current circumstances. Yeah, that made sense. She must have tripped somewhere and hit her head, because this couldn’t be real. She was hallucinating.

“Please say something.”

“I…” Ah, nice use of your vocabulary, H . She could hear Kim’s teasing tone as she sat there staring at her mother’s tear-stained face, trying to unpack everything Veronique had just verbally vomited on her. “I honestly have no words, Maman .”

“It’s a lot, I know. It’s taken a therapist to help me get to this point, so I understand you need time. I have to fly to Milan tomorrow, but maybe when I return, we can talk more?”

Hélène nodded. Time; that’s what she needed.

“Okay, I’m going to go. I know we haven’t eaten, but I doubt either of us wants to sit through a meal right now.”

More nodding.

“I love you, Hélène.” Veronique rose gracefully from the table, swiped away her tears, and kissed Hélène on the temple. Her exit was quick and quiet. The waiter stopped at the table, placing a double brandy in front of her. Without pausing, Hélène whipped up the glass and swallowed the contents in one gulp.

Not wanting to sit by herself, looking like a deer in headlights, she pulled out a few notes to leave a tip and exited the restaurant. The night air was icy and biting but it felt good. The nip of the wind helped refocus her mind.

Taking out her phone, she hit the call button. It rang…and rang…and rang. No answer. Where the hell was Kim? Tears fell down her face. She redialled. No answer. Wiping her face, she tried JJ. No answer. In a fit of confusion and frustration, she cried out a string of not-so-PG words. Where the fuck was everyone?

Her feet pounded the pavement as she walked. Her lungs burned, but she liked it. Her apartment was too far to walk the whole way, but right now, she needed to move. Her frustration grew as she tried Kim’s mobile again and again. Five minutes passed until her phone pinged with a message notification.

Kim

Sorry doll, still with Greg, I’ll call tomorrow xx

The message stopped her in her tracks. So, it was beginning already. She was being put aside again. Her fingers pressed the call button.

“Sam, what are you doing right now?”

Sam must have heard Hélène’s distress. “Nothing that can’t wait. What’s wrong?”

“I need to drink heavily. Can you meet me?”

“Yep, send me the address. I’m on my way.” Thank God for Sam. Luckily, she was only around the corner from a bar she and Sam frequented when they’d first met. She shot off a message to Sam and headed off.

The place was heaving. It looked like most of the lesbians in Paris had congregated in this one bar. Pushing her way through, she snagged a free stool. Hopefully Sam would arrive soon, because Hélène had no intention of waiting. She ordered a double brandy which she necked. The bartender shot her an understanding look before pouring her another drink. Her brain was feeling fuzzy. A warm hand on her shoulder jolted her from her alcohol-induced stupor.

“What’s going on?” Sam asked as she squeezed in next to Hélène, signalling for the bartender to pour them two more drinks.

“Do you ever think the universe hates you? Or like you’re cursed?” Yep, she was on her way to tipsy town.

Sam laughed. “No, not really. Is that what you think?”

“Yep, I think I must have really pissed someone off in a previous life, because karma is being a real bitch lately.”

“Alright, fancy telling me what’s caused this?” Sam made a swirling motion with her hand to convey “this” meant Hélène’s state of pessimism.

“Kim is going to get back with her ex and leave me, just like everyone else. My brother is having a baby on his own with a random surrogate. Holly wants me to pack up and move to Corsica, and my mother has just given me enough emotional upheaval to keep my therapist in business for decades.”

Sam stared at her wide-eyed. “Well, fuck, we’re going to need more drinks.”

Twenty-One

K im cradled the martini glass in her hand. Her gaze was transfixed by the roaring fire in her parents’ living room. What Greg had told her shook her to her bones. She’d been right coming to the UK early. How had she missed it? How had it gone on for so long without her noticing?

As soon as she’d arrived at her parents’ house yesterday, she knew something was seriously wrong. Greg was thinner, his pallor was a sickly white. Beads of sweat traced his hairline. Immediately, she’d dropped her bags and taken him in her arms.

“What’s going on? No more waiting. Please talk to me.” They stood in her parents’ hallway hugging, neither one wanting to let go.

“Let’s sit down in the living room. I’ll stick the kettle on,” Peter said. Kim’s dad was always a comfort in stressful situations. Kim, Greg, and Joy made their way to the couch.

“Greg?” Kim was losing patience.

“Okay, okay, it’s just harder than I thought it would be.” He cleared his throat. Joy placed a reassuring hand on his arm. “I’m in withdrawal.”

Withdrawal? Like drug withdrawal?

“I can’t pinpoint the exact time it got out of hand because it seemed to happen so fast.”

“What did? Greg, what do you mean you’re in withdrawal?”

“Drugs, Kim. I’ve been taking drugs for the best part of eighteen months.”

Kim looked frantically from Greg to her mum. “What, how…”

“It started as just a weekend thing when I had to go out with the guys from work. When I got put on Hervé’s team, I quickly understood they did things a little differently. Banking is all high pressure and money. I knew that, but these guys took it to a new level.”

“Hervé, as in your bloody boss?”

Greg nodded his head. “Yes. I didn’t want to be the bloke who couldn’t keep up. They were giving me the opportunity to climb the ranks quickly. All I had to do was play nice. Honestly, it felt good to be a part of the ‘in’ crowd.”

“By poisoning yourself?”

“Kim, let him finish,” Joy whispered.

“I know it was daft, but I didn’t see the harm. Really it was just a bit of weed to begin with. A way for us to de-stress and bond. Then we took out some high-profile clients—the kind that like to party. The drugs got heavier. Cocaine, pills—”

“Jesus Christ,” Kim almost yelled. This was unimaginable.

Greg waited for Peter to place the tray of teacups on the coffee table before continuing.

“Before I knew it, the drugs were being brought into work. Hervé said it was a way to keep us motivated, to crank out the work faster. Believe it or not, I refused the first few times, but then Hervé started to distance himself from me. I was being pushed out. Kim, I’d worked so hard to get where I was. Hervé was the only one who could get me to the next level, so I started partaking in their daily habit.”

“Why didn’t you come to me?”

“And say what? Oh, by the way, love, I’m high as a kite most of the time now, but don’t worry, I’m going to get a promotion out of it.”

“You wanted a promotion that bad?”

“Yes, Kim, I did! For once in my life, I wanted something I earned . Something that wasn’t given to me by you or your parents.”

“Greg, what on earth are you talking about?”

Greg’s statement was mystifying.

“Do you know how it feels to have to mooch off your girlfriend and her family? Since my parents died, you’ve had to do everything for me. Nothing was just mine.”

“That’s not true at all.”

“Really? My first car? Our first flat, clothes, pocket money? I could go on, but I think you get the point. Hervé was offering me the chance to earn a lot of money and secure myself a prominent position in the bank. We would have been set, Kim. I could finally start paying you all back.”

“There is nothing to pay back. We’re your family. That’s how it works, kiddo,” Peter said gently.

“I appreciate that, Peter, but that’s not how I feel in here.” Greg tapped his finger on his temple. “The drugs got heavier and more frequent. I couldn’t control myself. I couldn’t get through the day without a hit.”

A sob tore through Kim’s chest.

“I didn’t realise how it was affecting my behaviour. I’m so sorry, Kim. You know I would never hurt you.”

“But you did. You hurt me. Us.”

“Yes, I did, and that was my wake-up call. What happened in Saint-Tropez was unforgivable. I was high and out of control. I’m glad Hélène was there.” Greg dropped his head and sobbed. His body shuddered as he cried.

Kim was heartbroken for him—for them. Slowing his breathing, Greg pulled himself together. “I’m clean now, but I hope you understand why I needed to leave Paris.”

“You did the right thing. Are you getting help? Have you seen someone?”

“I’ve started going to meetings. Your dad has been kind enough to go with me.”

Kim hugged her dad. “Thank you.”

“It’s okay, kid. Greg knows my position on how he behaved towards you. We’ve spoken at length. I, like your mother, just want him to sort himself out.”

“I suggested he take a sabbatical from the bank, looking to transfer back to his old office as soon as possible,” Joy said.

Kim’s insides squeezed uncomfortably. Her life was in Paris now. She loved living there, but Greg was her best friend and he needed her now more than ever.

“Let’s talk some more about that later.” Kim didn’t want to talk about it at all, but she had no choice.

They spent the rest of the afternoon and well into the evening catching up. Kim had questions, and Greg answered them honestly. They hadn’t touched on the subject of their relationship yet. Kim definitely didn’t want to bring Hélène into it.

She’d felt bad when she saw Hélène had been trying to call her. They were supposed to be having a sexy phone call, but instead Kim cancelled because she was still talking things through with Greg. She felt awful, but he needed her.

Today had probably been one of the longest days of Kim’s life. There was so much emotion, the air was saturated with its unease. The martini was helping—well, the third one, mostly. Greg had retired to the spare room a couple of hours earlier. Peter had left Kim and her mum alone for a while. Joy was always the one that Kim turned to in times of crisis.

“How are you, doll?” Joy asked, sipping her own martini.

“I don’t know, Mum. This was not what I was expecting. I wish you’d told me earlier.”

“Love, it wasn’t my place, or your father’s. Anyway, it would have made no difference. When Greg came here, he needed space and time after what he did to you. If you’d have known, you would have come home and it would have made things worse.”

“I still should have known. God, Mum, I feel awful. I was having a gay old time in the bloody Mediterranean whilst my best friend, my boyfriend, was having a crisis.”

“Boyfriend? Don’t you mean ex-boyfriend? I understand you wanting to support him. Truly, I do. That’s why we stepped in, but Kim, you needed a break just as much as Greg. If he’d have told you what was going on when he visited you in Saint-Tropez, would it have made a difference? Would you still be with him?”

“I don’t know.” Would she have left with him and tried to sort out their relationship? She couldn’t answer that. Maybe, but would it have changed anything for her in the long run?

Yes, Greg’s behaviour had been the catalyst that started them down this path, but the truth of it was that Kim had been feeling lost for some time. Her own life wasn’t what she’d expected it to be, and that wasn’t all down to Greg taking drugs. That was down to her and her own decisions.

“I think you do know, love. Can I be blunt with you?”

When was Joy Richmond not blunt? Kim nodded, swallowing the last of her drink before pouring another.

“You guys are the best of friends, and I always loved that. You know each other inside and out, which is wonderful for a parent to see. When you became lovers, I was less than chuffed.”

Kim did a double take at her mother. Had she heard that correctly?

“The reason I was less than happy was because when you’re together, you , my darling, always seem to end up holding yourself back to make sure Greg gets what he needs and wants, which, as a friend, is great. You’re his support. But as his partner, not so much.”

“What do you mean?”

“If you guys had just remained friends, you would have met someone else, correct?”

“Well, possibly.”

“That other person would’ve been, I hope, the person who put you first, gave you what you needed and wanted, allowing you the energy to help Greg without it becoming all-consuming. Kim, honey, you finished your degree and then dumped your entire career out of the window because Greg wanted to go to Paris. I’m sure you have a wonderful life there, but it’s not what you dreamed of doing.”

“Mum, you have to compromise in a relationship. I couldn’t have it all my way. Greg waited for me to finish my Master’s. It was my turn to let him do the thing he wanted most.”

“Kim, you make it sound as if he were waiting around the house for you like an obedient puppy whilst you were in school. Greg lived his life. He did well in his job. He wasn’t missing out on anything, and frankly, it pisses me off he’s made you believe anything to the contrary.”

“He didn’t. That’s how I perceived it.”

“Well, you got it wrong. Kim, you were so excited at the thought of getting your PhD when you started university. You’re so bloody intelligent it’s scary, and you just let it all go. It frustrates the hell out of me.”

As much as she usually appreciated her mum’s candour, she wasn’t ready to hear it. “Okay, I get the point.”

Snapping at Joy was never a good idea. It’s not how they operated as a mother-daughter unit, but Kim couldn’t help it. Her frustration and emotional limits had been shattered.

“I’m going to bed. Thanks for the drink. We’ll talk more tomorrow.” She left no time for her mum to respond.

Getting up, she quickly gave her mum a kiss on the cheek and scooted out of the room. She desperately wanted to call Hélène, but it was late. She’d do it tomorrow.

What a shitty night’s sleep. Hours of tossing and turning. Today was going to be long and tiring. She looked at the time: 8 a.m. Hélène would be up and getting ready for work. Without thinking, she sent a message, hoping Hélène would respond quickly. Kim needed to connect with her. She needed to feel Hélène’s presence, even if it was through a text message.

Kim

Morning, how was your evening, sugar?

Bouncing dots…nothing. Kim huffed out a breath of frustration. She’d hurt Hélène last night by cancelling their call. Kim wasn’t stupid. She knew it would probably set off some alarm bells in Hélène’s mind, but Kim had had to make a choice between possibly upsetting her girlfriend and abandoning her best friend in his time of need. She just hoped Hélène would understand if Kim would be allowed to explain what happened. The bouncing dots were back.

Hélène

Still in bed, not feeling too good. Will message later.

Short and clipped, that’s how the message read.

Kim

Oh, no, what’s wrong?

Hélène

Too much to drink. Speak soon.

Why had she had too much to drink? Did Kim know Hélène was supposed to go out? No, they were supposed to have called, so that made little sense. Had something bad happened that caused her to drink herself silly?

“Kim, love, breakfast is ready.” Her dad’s low timbre vibrated through the door.

“Okay,” she called back. Her phone felt too heavy in her hands. Was that the weight of her disappointing Hélène?

Joy, Peter, and Greg were all sitting round the table when she entered the kitchen. Greg looked better than the day before. Peter pushed a plate over to the open seat where Kim plonked herself down. Oh, how she’d missed her dad’s bacon butties.

“Dad, you’re the best.”

Her dad chuckled as she sank her teeth into the breakfast delight. Ketchup squirted out the side and down her chin. Instinctively, Greg leaned over and wiped it off. The room froze. Awkward much?

“Sorry,” he mumbled, taking his hand away.

“It’s okay,” Kim replied. It didn’t feel okay. Greg’s touch, which had once comforted her, felt unfamiliar and wrong.

“What’s your plan today, love?” Her dad broke the tension. Thank God for him.

“Not sure.”

“Tash and Steph are visiting. Why don’t you call them?” Joy looked pointedly at her daughter. Kim knew why. Since moving to Paris, Kim had let her friendship with her two other best friends wane. Joy obviously wanted her to connect with them again.

“Yeah, that’s a plan. Greg, you want to come with me? It’s been ages since we were all together.”

Greg hadn’t even opened his mouth before Joy interrupted. “Greg’s shopping with me today, love, aren’t you?”

Jesus, were those actual daggers shooting out her mum’s eyes? Greg wasn’t stupid enough to argue, so he just smiled and agreed.

“Alright, then,” Kim mumbled.

Steph and Tash were delighted Kim had reached out, and to be fair, Kim felt just as good. Kim, Greg, Tash, and Steph had all grown up together. Kim and Greg were the closest as far as best friends went, but that didn’t stop them from having a great little friendship group.

They met at Beans and Buns Café—no one in their right mind would call their establishment that nowadays; the innuendo was ridiculous. But times had been different back then.

The little coffee shop had been around forever. They served killer iced buns and scones. Kim checked her phone one last time before entering the café. Still nothing from Hélène. Kim sighed.

What a fucking mess .

“There she is. Look at you, all Parisian and shit.”

Kim burst out laughing. Steph was the loudest of the group and the one who cursed like a sailor.

“Hey, Steph.” Kim walked into her friend’s outstretched arms, hugging her tightly before doing the same with Tash. Kim settled in the chair opposite her friends. She took a moment just to look at them. Had it really been almost six years since they saw each other last?

Steph was a beanpole. She hovered around 6’2, which, compared to Kim, was ridiculous. Steph could literally lean her elbow on Kim’s head. Her hair had changed since they’d last met. Kim remembered her sporting a cute pixie cut, but now it fell to her shoulders in chocolaty waves. As usual, she was in her workout gear, which was normal considering she was a personal trainer.

Tash looked almost the same as before. She still rocked a pantsuit. Tash worked in banking, like Greg. They’d actually started at the same place all those years back. After climbing the ranks, she was now paid a ridiculous salary as an executive. Tash had straight blonde hair like Kim, but it was a lot more golden than hers. Tash wore it in a tight ponytail as usual. They both looked fantastic and happy.

“God, you two look great. I’ve missed you so much.” She leant over and held both their hands. Her face lit up with a bright smile.

“Missed you too, lady,” Steph replied. Kim looked over at Tash, who seemed a little less enthusiastic about their reunion.

“Everything alright, Tash?” As a group, they’d never shied away from airing grievances, and Kim could tell that Tash had something on her mind.

“It is great to see you, but I’m just wondering why now? You dropped off the face of the earth when you moved to Paris, so I’m a little surprised, is all.”

Oof, straight to the heart with that one.

“You’re right. I’m sorry, really. I don’t know. I could come up with a bunch of excuses, but I suppose I was just so focused on where I was, I didn’t stop to look back.” It was as honest as she could be.

“We’ve been friends forever, Kim. Moving shouldn’t have been an issue. Hell, I moved a year after you but Steph still texted me every day. We still meet up a few times a year.”

What could she say? Did she know the reason she’d bagged off her friends? A memory swam through her mind. The three of them were sat eating just before Kim was due to move. Kim remembered the feeling of that lunch, and it wasn’t pleasant.

Tash and Steph had vocalised their concern about Kim giving up on her education to follow Greg. If memory served, their discussion had gotten a little heated towards the end. That’s the real reason Kim had run away and not looked back. She was angry they challenged her decision. The worst part was she felt angry because a part of her agreed with what they had said.

Whenever she spoke about her move to Paris with Greg, Kim always played it off as if it had been the easiest decision in the world and she hadn’t been too bothered about leaving her studies behind. In reality, it had been one of the hardest things she’d ever done, but in the end, guilt had won out.

Kim had felt guilty for her education monopolising her and Greg’s life. When Greg had been a little short with her towards the end of her Master’s, Kim had reasoned he was right to want more for himself and she should stop being selfish. Why should Greg stick around for another four years whilst Kim studied for her doctorate?

A mix of emotions coursed through her body: shame that she’d pushed away her closest friends, frustration her life was not where she wanted it to be, and sadness that she, along with Greg, were going through such a hard time.

“Tash, I’m sorry. I think the last conversation we had hit a sore spot. I wasn’t ready to hear what you guys had to say, and I distanced myself because of it.”

“Kim, we were just looking out for you,” Steph said.

“We didn’t think you’d drop us for it, though. I mean, bloody hell, Kim, we used to talk about all the hard stuff and nobody chucked the friendship away,” Tash shot.

“I know, I know. I think I was just in a really shitty place. I felt guilty for keeping Greg waiting whilst I was in school.”

“Guilty? What the hell for? He was doing his own thing. He had a great job, good money, and friends around him,” Steph said incredulously.

“Funny, Mum said the same thing last night.”

“Well, you can always count on Joy to say it straight,” Tash chuckled. It was the first sign her friend was thawing towards her.

“Have you heard what happened?” Kim wasn’t sure if they knew about her and Greg. How would they unless Greg was still in contact?

“With who? Your mum? Is she okay?” Tash asked quickly, her face marred with concern. Kim’s heart warmed.

“No, between me and Greg.”

“How would we?” Steph arched her eyebrow. Yeah, fair enough, Kim had been a shit friend. Message received.

Kim spent the next hour filling them in on everything. She caught them up with her life in Paris. She spoke of Anna and Sam, the change in Greg, the feeling of unfulfillment in her life, and last but not least, Hélène.

“Fucking hell, Kim, that’s a lot,” Steph laughed.

“Tell me about it,” Kim sighed.

“So what’s happening, then? Do you think Greg will actually move back? Will you?” Tash asked her with pinched eyebrows.

“I think he will. He has a lot of work to do on himself, and Paris is not the place for him to do it. He needs to remove himself from that environment. As for me? No idea. Paris is where my life is now and I love it, but Paris was supposed to be for me and Greg. He’s going to need help and I’m his best friend. I feel like I’m abandoning him if I decide to stay in France.”

“And Hélène?” Steph asked.

“God, I don’t know. We have only just started, but I like her so much. For the first time in a long time, I feel really good—hopeful, almost. She pushes me and challenges me to think bigger. But there is so much history between me and Greg. How can I just throw that away? I don’t want to be his girlfriend again. I know that much, but can I just leave him entirely?”

“This is what my problem was all those years ago, Kim,” Tash almost barked in frustration, taking Kim by surprise. Tash’s eyes were a little fierce. “I know you guys were the closest of us all. But Kim, what I don’t understand is where this need to put him above you comes from. No offence, sugar, but he didn’t do that for you. He was a sweet guy, but he never sacrificed anything to make you happy. So, where does your guilt come from?”

“I don’t know, I just think he needs looking after, and if I don’t do that, who will?”

“He should be looking after himself, Kim. He’s a grown-ass man. He’s not the poor kid that lost his parents and couldn’t fend for himself. You and your parents went above and beyond when that happened, but I think you took it a little too far in the end. You need to let him get on with it. The only person you should concentrate on is you. Be his friend, but for the love of all things sacred, do not give up your life for him,” Steph stated. Tash nodded in agreement.

Jesus Christ, I need another holiday.

Twenty-Two

P ain shot through Hélène’s head and neck. Why the hell was she upside down? Cautiously, she pried one of her eyes open. Yes, she was definitely the wrong way up. Her head had slipped off the end of the couch and was dangling.

The rest of her body had been contorted in a way that would impress a master yogi. Hélène’s muscles were not impressed. They were sore and stiff. Add to that the massive and hideous headache and she wasn’t having the best start to the day.

As gently as she could, she lifted herself into an upright position. Wrong move. Her stomach revolted violently to the motion. Reaching for the paper bin that stood by the TV unit, she unloaded her stomach.

Oh, dear God. The smell of alcohol made her retch again, but nothing came up. Memories of the previous night darted before her eyes. Tequila. So. Much. Tequila. Oh, God, had they done karaoke somewhere?

Staggering to the bathroom, she tried to search her very spotty memories to piece together the rest of her evening. Lights, music, and dancing. Had she cried? Did Sam get home alright? The soft moaning from the bedroom pulled her attention.

“Sweet fucking Jesus,” Sam groaned from the middle of Hélène’s bed. By the looks of things, she’d simply collapsed in situ because she still had her clothes on and she hadn’t even attempted to get under the covers. “I’m dying.” Another long moan escaped the mess that was Sam.

“I threw up in my paper bin,” Hélène stated, climbing on the bed. “Do you remember anything?” She sure didn’t, not really. Good God, hopefully she’d not embarrassed herself.

“Tequila…there was lots of tequila. We danced and sang. You cried several times.”

This time, it was Hélène who let out a loud groan. Her head hurt, her body hurt, and her heart hurt.

“Coffee. We need lots and lots of coffee.” Sam rolled over. She resembled something of a beached whale, the way she lolled about. Hélène listened as Sam hoisted her hungover ass out of bed and set about banging around in her little kitchen.

Several minutes later, Sam appeared with two mugs set on a large pizza box. “Apparently, drunk us is very conscientious. Look at this.” Hélène sat up from where she had been slouched. Sam handed her a scrap of paper.

Eat pizr in mrnin. Pizr gud, drunk bad. Hed will feel

ok after fud.

Not one to argue with her drunk self, she set about eating the pizza they had obviously picked up at the end of the night. Hélène’s phone pinged from the living room. Able to walk without wanting to vomit, Hélène retrieved her phone. It was a message from Kim asking how her night had been.

She was not in the right frame of mind to handle Kim right now. After a very short to-and-fro, Hélène set her phone on silent and went back to bed. Sam sat looking at her expectantly. “You ready to talk now? You drank enough tequila to down a horse, and by the look on your face, it did little to help with your problems.”

“No, it just added a hideous hangover to an already shitty situation.”

“Yeah, I gathered from your outbursts last night. Wanna get into it?”

“Was I that bad?”

“Well, it wasn’t good. The poor girl who was trying to get in your knickers all night ended up with you ugly crying on her shoulder for half an hour.”

“Please tell me you’re joking.”

“Wish I was. I had to buy her a drink as an apology. Hélène, you were really upset. This thing with Kim has hit a serious nerve, am I right?”

Hélène had been pissed for sure, but was she really that upset? Yesterday had been an emotional rollercoaster, but it hadn’t just been Kim ditching her for Greg. Holly, JJ, and her mother had played a huge part in Hélène’s night of drowning her sorrows.

“Okay, let’s start with the easiest one: JJ. I know you’re worried about him, but he knows what he’s doing, and I’m sure he’ll talk to you if he has any concerns. I reckon you just have to trust him and be the best aunt to that little kiddo when it comes along.”

“I can do that.”

“Alright, second: Holly’s offer. It’s huge, it’s life-changing, but it’s also something you’ve wanted for a long-ass time, Hélène. Forget about JJ and Kim. This one is about you. Diving is your passion. I don’t fully understand the thrill, but you do, and that’s what matters.”

“If you’d let me take you, you’d find out how amazing it is.”

“Let’s not hash this out again. I enjoy breathing on land. Anyway, back to it—Holly’s offer. If it’s serious and something that tickles your fancy, then I’m all for it. Call her. Get specifics and then make an informed decision.”

Hélène rested her chin on her legs that were pulled into her chest. Yes, she’d call Holly and ask for her business plan. Once she’d seen that, she’d take it from there. “Okay, I’ll call her.”

“Great. Now your mum. This one is a biggie. I mean, you’ve got some major issues with that lady, so it’s gonna take time and patience to work through everything she had to say.”

“You’re telling me. It still feels like a dream. I know that sounds cliché, but seriously, it does. I didn’t know about my grandmother. Had no idea about their relationship, or lack of. Veronique has never shown that side of herself to me, so our conversation yesterday was shocking.”

“Completely fucking understandable. I mean, I only met the woman once, and that was enough. She’s terrifying. But she’s your mum. I couldn’t imagine a life without mine. I hate that you never got to experience that kind of bond, so maybe it’s something to take into consideration. A fresh start, with the chance for a proper mother-daughter relationship.”

“It’s all I ever wanted, but I’m not sure I can trust it, you know?”

“Yeah, totally. What would you need to get to that point with her?”

Hélène puffed out a long breath. She’d never dared believe maybe one day she would have the kind of relationship with Veronique everyone else had with their mother. She’d seen how Sandy was with Sam, and she’d felt that yearning deep within. All she wanted was to be able to laugh and joke with her mum. She wished to see pride in her eyes instead of disappointment.

“She told me she’s been going to therapy since her health scare. Maybe going together would be a good start. There are things I need to say. Things that are going to be hard for her to hear.”

“I think that’s an excellent idea. Maybe you should arrange a dinner or something? Float the idea past her and see where it leads.”

“Yeah, okay, I can do that.”

“See, it’s not so bad. We’ve already sorted three of the four problems, well okay, not sorted, but straightened them out enough for you to deal with them without hard alcohol.”

“And for that, Sam, I’m eternally grateful. You’re a wonderful friend. Remind me to give Anna a bottle or five of red for letting me steal you last night.”

“Ha, I think she was happy to get rid of me. Who knew I’d turn into a Bridezilla? At this rate, I’ll be lucky to get her down the aisle.”

“Pfft, that woman will race you down the aisle. Nothing will stop her from marrying you, not even your overzealous approach to organising it.”

“From your lips to God’s ears.”

“It’s nice to see. I’d be so lucky to have a fraction of what you two have.”

“Wow, is that the world’s smallest violin I see? I think that little display of self-pity leads us nicely to the fourth and final problem. The reason you were snotting all over me last night.”

“I do not snot.”

Sam let out a loud guffaw. “Are you taking the piss? Hélène, you were a right bloody mess—a snotty, tearful mess. And to be honest, I didn’t really get what was going on. You just kept weeping, telling me you were ‘cursed for eternity to walk this painful life alone’. It was dramatic.”

Hélène could feel her face heating. “Merde , Sam, I’m so sorry.”

“No apologising, just tell me what’s going on.”

So that’s what she did. She told Sam about all the women that had left her for various reasons. She told her about her growing feelings for Kim and the fear of what that meant, especially because of how complicated it was between Kim and Greg. She told her about how Kim had cancelled their phone call to be with Greg and how that had played into every insecurity she had.

“I’m no stranger to letting past hurt affect a current relationship. Shit, Hélène, I almost walked away from the best thing in my life because of fear. You need to figure out if it’s something you can get past.”

“How can I live with the constant worry she’s going to leave? Hell, we’ve been together a few weeks and already her situation with Greg has become a problem. I get she wants to be there for him. I do, really. The thing is, I need a partner who is going to be there for me—put me first, just like I would them.

“I called her last night, several times actually, because I needed her. The best she could do was a message telling me she needed a raincheck on the call. What was I supposed to do? Pour everything out in a message and hope she decides I’m more important than her ex? I’m tired, Sam, tired of always coming second.” A tear fell down her cheek. Her body felt heavier than when she’d woken upside down.

The weight of those words hung around her neck like an anchor. Sam shifted so she was flush against Hélène’s side, her arm wrapped around her shoulders.

“I don’t know what to do for the best. Kim is magnificent. I like her a lot, but I can’t stand around and wait while she decides if I’m her person.”

“You have to tell her how you’re feeling. It’s not fair to her to keep all this locked up and then decide for you both without her having all the information.”

“What? Like she did when she ran off to the UK without talking to me about it? I think the timing is wrong. We both have too much going on to make this work.”

“It sounds like you’ve already made up your mind.”

Was Sam correct? Had she decided? “I don’t know. I need to think.” Hélène appreciated everything Sam had said and done to support her, but she needed some space alone. Time to process and decide what she wanted to do next.

“I’ll head out, but, Hélène…please, before you rush to a decision, think about talking to her. Openly and without fear.”

“I will.”

After a hug and a doggy bag of cold pizza, Sam left Hélène alone on her bed. Her hangover was still raging, but it was nothing compared to the queasiness that rolled around her stomach every time she thought of walking away from Kim. Even if it was for the best.

Lists were Hélène’s friends. She loved a good “Pros and Cons” list. Was there a better way to figure out a conundrum than making a list? If the pile of paper surrounding her on her bed was anything to go by, then no.

There was a list for each of her problems: JJ, her mum, Holly, and Kim. Once she was satisfied she’d got all of her thoughts down on paper, she was ready to mobilise. The first thing she would deal with was Holly. If the offer to partner up was as good as it sounded, Hélène was going to take the plunge—pun intended.

Yes, it would be a huge upheaval, but one that would be worth it in the long run. Hell, you only have a certain number of years on the planet, and by God, she wanted to make the most of them.

Doing something she loved and was passionate about, for the next fifty years, sounded like heaven. She banged out an email, requesting Holly send her a detailed business plan. The speed of Holly’s reply, along with all the excited curse words in the email, made her laugh out loud.

Drawing in a breath, she let herself bask in the excitement of her new adventure. Her heart felt as though little fireworks were going off. Smiling, she moved on to her second list: Her mum.

It was a no-brainer. She wanted to seize the opportunity to get to know her mother. If there was the slimmest chance Veronique could give Hélène what she needed, then that was good enough. Her second email of the day went to Otis, asking him to set up a lunch. Hélène was going to discuss the idea of seeing a therapist together.

Wow, she was flying through her woes. Now, time for JJ and his baby quest. The phone rang several times before he picked up.

“Hey, kid.” JJ always sounded chipper.

“Hey, JJ, have you got five to chat?”

“Yep, shoot, what’s up?”

“Nothing’s up. I just wanted you to know that I’ve been worrying about your plans. The baby plans.”

“Oh?”

“I just want to make sure, you’re sure. Is this woman really the one?”

“You don’t have to worry, Hélène, really. I’m not jumping into this blind. I’ve seen numerous doctors and psychologists. I’ve met Jane a lot and we’ve talked a lot. I feel it in my heart. She’s the right woman, and I know Claire would be happy. I’m ready to be a dad. I want more than just my businesses.”

“Okay, I just needed to hear it from you, I suppose. There is something else, too, but I need to hash some things out first before I discuss it with you.”

“Ah, Holly finally asked you to partner, eh?”

“She told you?”

“Yeah, she asked my opinion when we were on Connie . I told her to go for it. Hélène, it’s what you want. It’s what you’ve always wanted, and it’s time to put yourself first. I’m behind you on this one hundred percent.”

“Thanks, JJ. You don’t know how much I needed to hear that. Okay, look, I need to go, but thanks for indulging my silly anxieties.”

“Nothing silly in worrying about the people you love. Call anytime. Love you, kid.”

“Love you, too.”

Alright, then, this was going brilliantly. Now all she had to do was stomp on the heart of the woman she was probably falling head over heels in love with, therefore, breaking her own heart in the process. Great!

It had been roughly six hours and thirty-three minutes since Hélène had messaged Kim. In that time she’d concluded that, as much as she wanted to pursue something with Kim, the timing just wasn’t right for either of them. Hélène didn’t need a conversation with Kim to know it either. The whole reason Hélène had whisked herself away to the south of France was to catch a break, specifically from women.

Instead of doing that, she’d stormed ahead and fallen for yet another unavailable woman. In reality, that’s what Kim was: Unavailable. Until she’d really sorted things out with her ex, Kim couldn’t offer Hélène what Hélène needed, and frankly, what she deserved.

They hadn’t got too far into a relationship where it could fuck up a potential friendship. That was what Hélène hoped, anyway. Maybe in a few months they could look at dating again, if that was what they both wanted. Yes, solid plan. Better for everyone. Definitely. Right?

If she needed another sign what she planned to do was the right thing, the message from Kim that had just popped up on her phone was it. Kim was extending her stay in England. Talking over the phone wasn’t ideal, but she was damned if she would wait around until Kim came back. Gritting her teeth, she rolled her neck. This was not the type of phone call she was expecting to have with Kim.

Kim picked up almost immediately. “I know, I’m sorry, doll, I should have called. Are you feeling better? I’m sorry I need to stay here longer. It’s just that Greg has asked if I would.”

“It’s fine. You do what you need to do, but we need to talk. It’s not how I wanted this to go, but, well, I don’t have much of a choice.” Hélène’s words felt like acid as they left her mouth. Her tone was hard because that’s the only way she could do this.

“What are you talking about?” Hélène could hear the panic in Kim’s voice.

“A lot has happened since you left. I wanted to talk yesterday, but you were otherwise occupied. Anyway, that doesn’t matter now. I think I need to take a step back—”

“A step back from what?”

“From us. We’ve had a wonderful time, Kim, but I really don’t think either of us can commit to something more. You need to take your time with Greg, and I have things that need my attention, too.”

“Where is this coming from? I know I shouldn’t have cancelled our call, but this is extreme, don’t you think?”

“It’s not just about the call.”

“Then what is it?”

Hélène’s stomach dropped when she heard Kim sniff. Oh, fuck, was she crying? “Holly has offered me a fantastic opportunity, which means I will be leaving Paris. I have some stuff with my mother too, but you don’t need to worry about that. Look, let’s not make this harder than it needs to be. We were only together a few weeks.” Ice cold, that’s how she sounded, and she hated every second.

“It really meant so little to you? Really, Hélène?”

“Maybe we could revisit this in a few months or not, depending on where you are with Greg.”

“I will be friends with Greg, and that’s it. You know—”

“I don’t know, and that’s a problem. I’m sorry, Kim, but I can’t trust you won’t leave. It’s my issue, I know, but it’s enough that I don’t want to continue with us.” Boom, bomb dropped. The line went silent. Hélène’s heart rate was hammering through her chest.

“I don’t know what to say.” Kim was defeated.

“Nothing. Let’s take some time. Hopefully, we can salvage a friendship at least. Good luck, Kim.” She put the phone down without waiting for Kim to reply.

That was the worst thing she’d ever had to do. The conversation began on a loop in her head. Hélène heard her harsh tone. She’d done a fantastic job channelling Veronique. It was a shameful way to have behaved, but it had been necessary.

Hélène dropped the phone to the bed. Her hands shook uncontrollably. The tears she’d forced away came flooding back. The pain would fade eventually. It had to.

Twenty minutes of sobbing left her fatigued. The day had started out painfully and was ending the same way. Hoisting herself off the bed, she took herself to the bathroom. Maybe a scalding shower would help burn away the memory of hurting Kim? Unlikely, but she was going to try.

Her skin was bright red when she eventually turned off the water. It had made no difference at all. Nothing immediate was going to make a difference, only time. It wasn’t the first time she’d had to recover from heartache, but it was the first time she’d caused it.

Slipping under the covers of her bed, she willed her brain to shut down. Her phone pinged. Please don’t be Kim . Please don’t be Kim . Her resolve to end it with Kim was hanging by a thread. She wasn’t sure she could stay the course if Kim asked her to reconsider. She peeked at the screen.

Sam

I hope you know what you’re doing.

Kim had probably called Anna.

Me too .

Twenty-Three

S hocked, that’s the best way to describe how Kim felt as she stood in her childhood bedroom clutching the telephone she had just used to talk to Hélène. What had just happened?

Okay, so maybe telling Hélène over a text message she was staying in the UK for a little longer was probably not the best way to have communicated, especially after cancelling their call through text, as well.

Dammit. Kim had fucked up, but enough for Hélène to take their relationship out at the knees so brutally? She’d never heard Hélène sound so cold or distant. It had been like talking to someone else entirely. Should she call her back? No. With the way Hélène spoke to her, calling right now wouldn’t help. Giving her some time was probably for the best.

Kim thought back to what Hélène had said. Something big had happened with her mother, and Holly had presented her with an opportunity that would take Hélène out of Paris. Kim’s racing thoughts were interrupted by Greg, who knocked once and then entered her room.

“Tea?”

“Uh, thanks.” Kim was still reeling from her phone call.

“Everything okay?”

Kim hadn’t divulged her relationship with Hélène to her ex. Somehow it didn’t seem appropriate, but what was she supposed to say? She didn’t want to lie.

“Oh, that was Hélène. We had a minor disagreement.” Her shoulders slumped. If only it had been minor. That she could have handled.

“You seem really shaken. Did she upset you?”

“I’m not sure you’re the best person to talk to about it.”

“Oh, why’s that?”

Jesus, he was going to make her spell it out, wasn’t he?

“We started seeing each other romantically.” Could this be any more bloody awkward? She’d rather go for monthly smear tests than have this conversation right now.

Greg’s face visibly dropped. “You slept with her?”

Oh, so it could get worse. Okay, good to know.

“Do you really want to talk about this?”

“I think I have a right to know!” he snapped.

Oh, no. Hell, no, he did not get to take that tone. “You really want to start down that road? After everything, you think I’m in the wrong?”

“Jesus, Kim, you’ve just skipped right ahead. Never mind me. Yes, I hurt you, and yes, I fucked up, but we were supposed to be together forever. You didn’t even wait a week.”

“Hang on a sec. I tried for months and months to get you to open up, to talk, to work on the relationship. You made your choices, and I made mine. Honestly, I think I’d checked out of ‘us’ a while ago. Probably when I spent my birthday alone, or when I had to spend the day trying to get all my money back on the holiday you bailed on. You were going through something, but so was I. I didn’t just magically move on, Greg, I agonised for months, and then I met someone who offered me everything I needed. She didn’t push me, she didn’t seduce me, she just listened, and we got close. It had nothing to do with you. It was about me .”

“So you had no intention of coming back to me? It doesn’t matter what I do, you’re really done with us.”

“Am I missing something? You told me it was a good thing we weren’t together.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t mean forever. I have some work to do, but I’ll get better and then we can get back to how we were.”

“I don’t want to get back to how we were, Greg! I was bloody miserable. I’ve had time to think about what I want. As much as I love living in Paris, I want more.”

“More?”

“I want to go back to school. I should have gone for my doctorate when I was in university.”

“So, you regret choosing me. Is that what you’re saying?”

“Why did it have to be a choice in the first place?”

“Well, how else could it have gone? Did you want me to go to Paris whilst you stayed here?”

“Why not? Would that have been the end of the world?”

He was getting irritated. His face was flushed. “Why can’t you just be happy with our life? Fuck, Kim. I just wanted to look after you.”

“I didn’t ask for you to look after me! You made that decision for us both. God, where did we go so wrong? It’s pretty clear we want very different things.”

Greg dropped his head to his chest, blowing out a sad sigh. “We never really had those conversations, did we?” He wasn’t being accusatory, just honest.

Their friendship had seamlessly morphed into a relationship when they were teens. They hadn’t spent their time getting to know each other as separate people.

“No, we didn’t, and I think that was a big mistake on both our parts. I love you, Greg, you know that. I’m your best friend, always, but I think I have to take some time now to figure out where I go from here.”

“Why did Hélène get cross with you?”

“Because I did something I shouldn’t have. When you asked me earlier to stay longer, I didn’t take her into consideration. I did what I always do where you’re concerned. I put everything to one side, regardless of how that would make me, or in this case, Hélène, feel.”

The reality of what she’d done crashed down like a wave. Why had she done that?

“I’m sorry—” Greg began.

“No, it’s my fault. I don’t know why I keep repeating the same pattern.”

Shopping was invented for these types of shitty situations. Kim had found zero answers over the past few days. Hélène had disappeared off the face of the earth. She’d given Hélène space—three days in fact—but even then, she obviously didn’t want to talk at all. Messages were left unanswered; phone calls went to voicemail.

After the conversation with Greg, Kim called Anna. She needed to speak to someone who knew Hélène. Maybe she or Sam could shed some light on the situation, because no matter what Kim’s mistakes had been, she didn’t deserve to be dumped so brutally.

They had a connection. Okay, so they’d been together a few weeks, but what did that matter? There were people in the world who met the loves of their lives and knew it after just one look.

Anna had hinted there were some significant things going on in Hélène’s life, but she didn’t feel comfortable spilling the details. All she said was Sam had come home severely hungover and a little worried about her friend.

Everything was one big mess. In three weeks, Kim and Hélène were supposed to be a part of Anna and Sam’s wedding. A major part. Kim was going to be standing with Anna whilst Hélène performed the ceremony. They had to talk, but what could she do if Hélène refused to engage?

Her credit card was taking a good beating. Three new dresses and two pairs of heels later, her heart still felt as bruised as it had three days previously. Joy had tried to talk to her on several occasions, but Kim couldn’t open up anymore. She could feel herself folding inwards.

For months, she’d felt raw with emotion over her failing relationship with Greg. She was supposed to be healing. That’s why she’d gone away—to get some peace—but it’d backfired spectacularly, hadn’t it?

Breaking up with Greg, finding Hélène, losing Hélène, then losing herself. Hell, her mother and her friends had told her, in no uncertain terms, she’d made a huge mistake with her life when she’d followed Greg to France. That was a lot to digest, right?

Surely, anyone would be struggling. She felt untethered. Paris, for so long, had been her safe port. Anna, Sam, and Greg had been her comfort, but all that had changed in such a short space of time.

Well, she had to think of some way to cope because she couldn’t afford to keep spending money on retail therapy.

“Ms Richmond?” a low, gravelly voice called from across the store. Kim turned. Standing by the winter coats was her old professor.

“Professor Plum.” Yes, that was her real name. “What a pleasure to see you.”

“Likewise, Ms Richmond. How are you?”

Ha, good question. “Very well, thanks.” Lies. “Just getting a bit of retail therapy in before I go home.”

“I would have thought the shopping in Paris would be far superior.”

“Well, yes, but it’s also more expensive.”

“Indeed. So, tell me what you’ve been up to.”

Kim wasn’t ashamed of her job or her life, but as she stood in front of her old professor, she was suddenly less happy to be sharing her life after university.

“Oh, I’m a PA to a very good friend who owns a publishing company.”

“Excellent. Are you enjoying it?” There was no trace of judgment in Professor Plum’s voice or face.

“Very much so.” Her voice trailed off. Could she talk to Professor Plum about her future? Maybe someone impartial would be a good idea. “Actually, Professor, I’ve been thinking recently about returning to my education.”

“Oh, well, that would be fabulous, Kim.” The use of her first name made her feel better. The excitement in her professor’s face warmed her.

“The thing is, I’m not sure I want to return to the UK. Any chance you could help me look into some programmes in France, that’s if you have time?”

“Absolutely. How long are you here for?”

“As long as I need to be.”

“Come along to my office in a couple of days. That gives me a bit of time to look into it.”

“Wonderful, thank you, Professor, really.”

“Pleasure’s all mine, Kim. It was a shame when you left us, but I understand sometimes life takes us on different paths than we’d planned. I’m just thrilled you’re wanting to resume your education. You are one smart cookie, Kim.”

Okay, that was a step in the right direction. For the first time in months, Kim felt in control.

“Patricia called me today.”

No “Good morning”, just straight to the point. Joy had turned her professor’s voice on again. Kim shouldn’t have been too surprised to learn her former professor had reached out to her mother. And yes, once again, Professor Patricia Plum was her actual name.

“I’m sure that was a lovely conversation.”

You want to know something, Mum, you can just ask .

“It was enlightening. I’m just wondering why I’m finding out from Pat that you are thinking about going back to university.”

“I saw her the other day and it crossed my mind she would be a good person to talk to, casually. I haven’t decided if it’s what I want to do.”

“But you could’ve talked things through with me, doll, you usually do.”

“Honestly, Mum, I didn’t come here intending to change my life. I just wanted to support Greg, but after talking to you, Steph, and Tash, I had to admit some of what you said stuck. I just wanted to decide on my own, no outside influences.”

“Alright, love. No pressure. I am pleased you’re thinking about you for a change, though. That’s the last thing I’ll say.”

“Okay, and I promise if I make any actual decisions, I’ll come to you.”

In truth, the more Kim thought about returning to university, the more excited she became. At the end of the day, she was a scientist, and she missed being around her people and the work.

Speaking of “her people”, Kim needed to get a move on. Professor Plum had extended her an invitation to a dinner party. It was the opportunity Kim needed to reconnect with her academic roots. Professor Plum had assured her there would be plenty of people for her to mingle with, who could point her in the right direction.

Smoothing down her pencil skirt, Kim took a deep breath. It had been years since she’d spent time in this kind of social situation. The prospect was a little terrifying, if she were being honest.

The party would be packed with academics who spent their time either teaching or researching. Kim had spent her time organising Anna’s diary. No time for doubts now, though. If she planned to be serious about returning to university, she had to put her concerns to one side and jump right in.

Professor Plum’s house was beautiful. The building was a traditional three-story Victorian property and would definitely come with a hefty price tag.

Kim straightened her shoulders and knocked on the grand oak door. The wait ramped up her heart rate. A few seconds passed before the door creaked open. Professor Plum greeted her with a beaming smile.

Instead of her usual brown skirt suit, the professor wore a gorgeous black cocktail dress. Her hair, normally in a tame bun, was loose around her shoulders. Had her professor always been hot?

“Kim, welcome.”

“Professor…”

“Now, none of that, it’s Patricia. Please, I insist. You’re not my student anymore.”

Kim smiled shyly. Why the hell was she acting like a timid teenager? “Patricia, thank you so much for the invite.”

“Oh, the pleasure is mine. I have a few people I want to introduce you to. Nearly everyone is in the living room. Please go through and grab a drink.”

Kim stepped through the door and into the hall. The interior was as beautiful as the outside. Kim wasn’t sure what she’d expected to find, but a modern, sleek house wasn’t it. Patricia must have caught the surprise that flashed across her face as she took in her surroundings.

“The interior is all my wife. I have the interior design skills of a caveman, I’m afraid.”

“It’s beautiful.” No lies there.

“Well, Callie will be over the moon. Come on, just through here.”

Kim followed Patricia into the room immediately to the right of the entrance hallway. A dozen people were standing around with various drinks in their hands.

Kim recognised a couple of people who in return, recognised her. The group spent several minutes catching up, and Kim was delighted none of them made her feel bad about her choice to leave after graduating. In fact, they’d been very excited to hear about her life in Paris.

“Kim, let me introduce you to my wife, Callie.”

Holy moly. Callie was a fox. She had long, ash-blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. Kim’s heart hurt. She was looking at Hélène twenty years down the line. She’d done a valiant job putting Hélène to the back of her mind, but it was proving impossible as she stared into the eyes of Callie Plum.

Swallowing hard, she extended her hand. “It’s a genuine pleasure, Callie.”

“You, too. Pat hasn’t stopped going on about you for the past few days. She’s always been impartial with her students, but there is no doubt you are one of her favourites. Apparently, you’re one of the most gifted students she ever had the pleasure to teach.”

Well, gosh.

“That’s too kind. Patricia was my favourite professor, though. She always made the lectures fun.”

“Careful, she’ll get an enormous head.” The three women laughed.

“Have you been reacquainted with everyone?” Pat asked, scanning the room.

“I think so, although there are plenty of people I don’t know.”

“Yes, and there is one you must meet. Aurelie is a visiting professor from Nice. It’s serendipitous you both being here. Aurelie is the head of the science department. Have a chat with her. She can answer any questions you may have, and she will point you in the direction that will suit you best.”

“Wow, yes, definitely.”

“Fabulous, but first, let’s have some fun. We have all night to talk shop.”

Kim chuckled. She couldn’t recall ever seeing her professor so relaxed. The wine was divine; a delicious red from Chinon. Kim would bet money Pat and Callie spent a lot of their holidays in the French wine country.

An hour must have passed by the time Kim found herself in front of Aurelie. As with most French women—in Kim’s humble opinion—Aurelie was gorgeous. She had long, straight auburn hair. Her figure was to die for, and the long blue dress she wore was just the icing on top of a very delicious-looking cake. Okay, so she was probably fifteen to twenty years Kim’s senior, but that didn’t stop her from looking.

“Ah, the famous Kim Richmond.”

Oh boy, that accent was yummy. Not as yummy as Hélène’s. More heart pain. She had to do a better job at putting Hélène aside, for now at least.

“Aurelie, thank you for taking some time to talk to me.”

“No problem. Pat has told me you’re looking at getting back into academia.”

“I have been giving it some serious thought. I’m currently based in Paris and would prefer to stay in France if possible.”

“Well, I’m sure you know my position is in Nice. We have an excellent science programme. You have an MSc in Biology, is that correct?”

“Yes, that’s right. At the time of choosing my degree, I hesitated between Biology and Marine Biology. I feel Marine Biology would be the path I would choose now. Do you think it’s a possibility?”

“There’s no question of it being a possibility. From what Pat has told me, you are more than capable. You will, however, come back to your studies as a mature student. That can be difficult sometimes.”

“I think the added years will only help.” Sure, it could be hard fitting in if she was the only “mature” student, but she’d only been away from education for a few years. It wasn’t as if she were returning in her forties.

“How about we set up a meeting when you’re back in France? You could visit the campus. See what you think.”

“Brilliant, thank you. I’ll get your contact details from Patricia before I leave.”

“Great, now let’s drink,” Aurelie laughed heartily.

It was nearly midnight before Kim got back to her parents. Thank God she was a master in heels because she was more than a little tipsy. A lesser-skilled person would have faceplanted the floor by now.

If she only had the same skill in her love life. She was like Bambi, stumbling about, trying to navigate her way through her feelings. Her alcohol-soaked brain gave her the great idea to call Hélène. Of course, it was the perfect time to sort out their troubled situation.

Hélène had been screening her calls for days, but as luck would have it, she picked up. “Kim.” Cool and aloof, just like before.

“Kim,” she mimicked, trying to sound as cold as Hélène.

Silence.

“Hélène, you suck right now, doll; however, we have to get through our friends’ wedding in a couple of weeks, so you can’t just ignore me forever.”

“Are you drunk?” Hélène’s tone softened.

“Yes, and your voice is sexy. Your stupid face is too, but that doesn’t matter now. Are you going to stop being an ass so we can get through Anna’s nuptials?” Hélène chuckled down the line. “And what exactly are you laughing at?” Kim didn’t find any of it funny.

“Sorry, I’m not laughing. I just forgot how entertaining you are when you’re drunk.”

“Yes, well, you don’t get to be entertained anymore.”

“Yes, you’re right. I promise I won’t be anything but friendly when we see each other next.”

“Oh, wonderful, friendly, just what I wanted. You’re such a douche canoe, it’s unbelievable. Just remember it was you that walked away because I’m certain you are going to come to regret that. I’m a catch. I was your catch, but you threw me away. Remember that when you’re being so bloody friendly.”

Not waiting for a reply, Kim disconnected the call. She’d probably regret that call tomorrow, but not now. Hélène had been an arse, and it felt good for Kim to express that to her face—well, over the phone.

Hélène might not see her value, but finally, she was starting to see it.

Twenty-Four

W as there anything better in the world than listening to nature? Two buzzards circled above the expanse of green that surrounded the little cottage Hélène was staying in. Well, she was sleeping in the converted barn on a blow-up bed, but still it was pretty idyllic.

Birds chirped from the hedgerows, and small lizards scuttled around the floors. If she had to pick a favourite place to go, bar the sea, the countryside would win out every time.

Anna’s parents’ cottage was beautiful. It was clear they had invested a lot of time and money into it, and it was no surprise Anna and Sam had chosen it to host their wedding. The gardens alone could rival something you would see at the Chelsea Flower Show.

Hélène continued her walk around the property. Time was counting down to Kim’s arrival. It had been weeks since they’d last seen each other, and the last time they’d spoken was when Kim had drunk-dialled her. Kim’s words echoed through her mind. Hélène was sure she was going to regret walking away, hell, she already did, but on the flip side, it had made Hélène sit up and really take stock of her life.

For far too long, Hélène had been waiting on other people to make her happy. Sure, every time she’d had someone leave her it had hurt, but in reality, she shouldn’t have relied on them to give her what she needed.

Every one of those women had left her because they had to put themselves first. And they had been right. Hélène had always struggled to put herself above anyone else, but now she had to try.

Her career wasn’t something she’d wanted, but she’d stayed for JJ and her mum. But no more. Hélène had read Holly’s proposal and snapped up her offer because it really was her dream come true.

The relationship between herself and Veronique had always been one-sided, but that had also changed. Hélène had summoned the courage to ask her mum to attend therapy together, which, to her utter shock, Veronique had agreed to do.

They’d had three sessions so far, and although it had been difficult and emotional, they’d made some breakthroughs. Veronique was learning to open up. It had been strained a few times, with Veronique slipping back into fashion mogul, obsessed with optics rather than being a mum, but Hélène could talk to her about it now and together, they were building something.

JJ was already waiting to hear if his surrogate was pregnant. Hélène had had to let that one go. She couldn’t spend her time fretting over something that was out of her control. She had to trust JJ knew what he was doing and was ready for it.

So, leaving Kim may feel like hell, but it had needed to happen. Hélène had taken the time she should have taken weeks ago, to put herself first. Still, the thought of seeing Kim both excited her and broke her at the same time. Kim Richmond wasn’t the kind of woman you simply got over and moved on from.

Surprisingly, Kim hadn’t arrived at the cottage early. Hélène wondered if that had been intentional, so she didn’t have to see her more than absolutely necessary. But as Anna’s maid of honour, she was sure cutting it fine. The wedding was due to start in three hours. She couldn’t think about that, though. It wasn’t her business. All Hélène should focus on was her own part: conducting the ceremony.

For the past two days, she’d been studying her lines. She could do the thing in her sleep by now. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Sam pacing near the barn door. Dressed in an ivory suit, Sam looked every bit the stylish bride. The cut of the suit was perfect. It hugged all of Sam’s curves. Her sandy hair was down by her shoulders and the sun was reflecting off the golden strands wonderfully.

“Everything okay, Sam?” Hélène wandered over. Sam was looking a little manic.

“Umm, yep, totally fine.”

Wow, she was a terrible liar.

“Want to try that again, but with the truth this time?”

Stopping her pacing, Sam faced Hélène with an almost comical expression of panic on her face. “She’s going to turn up, isn’t she?”

“Kim? Of course she will.”

“What? I’m talking about Anna.”

Yes, Hélène, not everyone is bloody obsessed with Kim.

Obviously, Sam was referring to her bride-to-be. “Sam, mon amie , do you really have any doubts? For one, you’re staging this whole shindig at her parents’ place. Two, you saw her last night. Charlie and I had to drag the pair of you away from one another. I really don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

Her pep talk seemed to help a little. “But she could realise it’s not what she wants…she could see how out of my league she is…she could regret settling down with the first woman she met!” Sam was back to full-out panicking again.

“Whoa, calme toi . You are being silly and you know it. There is nothing that will stop you from becoming each other’s wives. She loves you more than anything and that’s all you need to focus on, okay?”

“Okay,” Sam nodded vigorously.

“Where is Charlie?”

Charlie Baxter was Sam’s best friend and business partner. She kept their office running in the UK. Charlie was one of the nicest people Hélène had ever met. She was also stupidly good-looking.

Charlie was tall, slender, and had the greenest eyes Hélène had ever seen. Don’t even get her started on Charlie’s hair, which was pitch black, pin-straight, and so soft it should be illegal. Hélène knew because on one of their nights out, Charlie had passed out next to Hélène in her bed. No funny business had occurred, but Hélène had woken up to Charlie’s hip-length hair sprawled all over the place.

“She’s picking Kim up from the station. Her flight was delayed and then the train had to stop for something, so it’s been frantic.”

Well, that answered the question of Kim’s absence then. Already, Hélène could feel her heart beating a little louder. Sam sensed the change in Hélène’s stature at the mention of Kim’s name.

“Hey, you two going to be okay?”

Jesus, Hélène didn’t want Sam worrying Hélène’s love life was going to interfere with her wedding day.

“Absolutely, we’ve spoken. Everything is fine.” A little white lie never hurt anyone, right? She hadn’t even really told a fib. They had spoken. The situation may be far from resolved, but for today they would be okay with one another.

The sound of gravel crunching under car tyres stole their attention. Charlie’s bright green VW bug came to a screeching stop.

“We’re here, nobody panic,” Charlie announced, bouncing out of the driver’s seat.

Hélène watched the passenger door open and Kim step out. Their eyes met briefly before Kim turned back to the car. Bending down, she unlocked the seat back, allowing access to the rear. That’s when Hélène realised there was another person in the car—a person who Hélène recognised—Greg. He was here with Kim.

So, there it was—further proof Hélène ending things between them had been the right choice because Kim had gone back to her ex, just like Hélène had predicted. Spending time in Kim’s company just got a helluva lot more uncomfortable.

“Sam, get your arse inside. You don’t want Anna seeing you, and I need to get ready so we can have a drink.” Charlie looked from Hélène to Kim. The tension was palpable. “Hell’s bells, you come with us. I need you to help keep this one from losing her shit.” She hooked her thumb toward Sam, who had resumed her pacing.

Hélène could’ve kissed Charlie for giving her an out. Happy to oblige, she scooped Sam’s elbow, ushering her inside.

“Well, that was fucking awkward.” Charlie didn’t mince words. “You two gonna be able to keep it civil?”

“Of course, we’re adults!” Hélène sounded more confident than she felt. Seeing Greg standing by Kim’s side made her rage.

Smug son of a bitch .

Needing to get her head back in the present, she set about pouring three mimosas. Sam gulped it down in one. Charlie laughed at her and then followed suit, leaving Hélène feeling a tad daft just sipping at her glass. Oh, sod it. She upended the glass and downed the lot.

Ah, that’s better .

It took Charlie ten minutes to change and she looked fabulous. Her suit was the same shape as Sam’s but in a navy blue. Instead of wearing a blazer or shirt, she only wore the vest, leaving her tattooed arms on full display. Charlie really was a sight to behold. Well, that was until she spied Kim across the garden in a knee-length navy blue strapless dress and killer heels. Hélène’s breath was taken clean away. Her beautiful platinum blonde hair was in a styled, high bun with one of her signature scarfs wrapped around it.

Seeing her exposed shoulders and back transported Hélène to the bed they’d shared and all the delicious things they’d done to each other. Hélène vividly recalled the bite mark she’d left on Kim’s left shoulder after a marathon morning of sex. Her body tingled and her clit stood to attention. Her vision was shattered when Greg sidled up to Kim, placing his hand on her lower back. A low growl erupted from her throat. Another mimosa was in order.

The time finally came for everyone to take their places. Hélène stood at the end of the makeshift aisle waiting for the brides to make their way to her. The music started, and Kim and Charlie walked arm in arm towards her. It took every ounce of her energy not to stare at Kim.

Together, Anna and Sam walked hand in hand down the aisle. Their faces radiated love and happiness. Hélène’s time practising had been worth it. She performed the ceremony sans problems. Admittedly, she’d struggled not to look at Kim as she spoke of trust, love, and soulmates. Her words may have mirrored her feelings toward the sublime blonde, but it made no difference—not now, anyway. Too much time had passed, leaving Kim to return to Greg.

The reception was held under a large marquee tent in the south garden. Anna had wanted a sit-down dinner but nothing overly fancy. They’d chosen to have a local butcher roast a pig on a spit. Hélène found it highly amusing watching the few English guests stare in wonder at the hog.

Glancing at her watch, Hélène began to mentally countdown the hours until she could make her escape. The day had been wonderful, and she was so happy to have been a part of her friends’ union, but now the only thing she was a part of was the avoidance game she and Kim were playing.

Several times she’d seen Kim walking in her direction, causing her to veer off in another, and vice versa. They should probably talk, but Hélène couldn’t do it whilst Greg hung around like a bad smell.

Inevitably, though, she found herself alone with Kim. They’d been sitting at the same table—not next to each other, thankfully—for the meal. There had been enough people around them they hadn’t needed to talk, but that soon changed when the little dance floor opened up.

Nearly everyone at their table buggered off when ABBA’s “Dancing Queen” blared from the speakers. Everyone except Hélène and Kim, that was. For an instant, they held eye contact. Who was going to break it first? Hélène, that’s who. She couldn’t look into those eyes without wanting to break down.

It was for the best. You walked away because it was for the best .

Kim cleared her throat. “So, how have you been?” Ah, the polite chitchat.

“Good, thank you.” Hélène glanced at Kim as she spoke, but quickly averted her eyes after her words. Alcohol—she needed more alcohol. Thank Christ, Anna and Sam hadn’t skimped on the booze. Taking the bottle of red that sat just in front of her, Hélène poured a very generous glass and gulped half of it down in one.

“Sam mentioned you’re moving next week.”

Cheers, Sam, remind me never to tell you anything again .

Hélène nodded. “Yes, south Corsica.”

There was a flicker of something in Kim’s eyes at the mention of Corsica. Was she remembering all the fun and adventures they’d shared?

“Wow, so you really are going into business with Holly?”

“Sam has certainly been keeping you well informed.” It came out a little snarkier than she’d meant. Eventually, she would have called Kim and told her about her plans. She really had meant it when she asked if she and Kim could be friends again, but they both needed time.

“Well, Sam wouldn’t have to keep me apprised if you hadn’t vanished from the face of the fucking planet, would she?”

God, Kim was hot when she got all fiery.

Stop it, you masochist .

“I was just giving us both space.”

“Weird. I don’t recall asking for space. Ah, then again, it turns out you’re just someone else who thought they knew what I wanted and decided without consulting me.”

What the fuck did that mean? Was she seriously comparing her to Greg?

“That’s rich considering you’re here with the very person who treated you that way.” Yeah, two can play this game, love.

“I don’t know what you think is going on, but me and Greg are—”

“Kim, let’s dance, sweets.” Greg slipped into Kim’s space, planting his hand on her shoulder. Hélène could see him gently squeezing it affectionately. Acid was threatening to burn a hole in her stomach as she watched his little display of possessiveness play out.

That was more than enough for one day. Hélène was very much over this scenario. She would not sit and watch Kim fall back into that asshole’s arms.

“Greg.” Short, but at least she acknowledged his existence. “Good catching up, Kim. You look beautiful, by the way. I’ll see you around.”

Okay, she should’ve left the “beautiful” comment out, but it was true. Kim was radiant and she deserved to be told. Rising swiftly from the chair, Hélène made a beeline for the brides. Time to say goodbye and get the hell out of there.

“You two are adorable, and I’m beyond happy for you both.” She slid her arms around Anna and Sam as they danced.

“Thank you for doing the ceremony. You were perfect. We couldn’t think of anything better than having one of our best friends marry us,” Anna beamed.

“Yes, seriously, Hélène, thank you from the bottom of our hearts.”

Well, damn, she’d kept a lid on her emotions for most of the day, but her tears sprung out like a leaky tap at their heartfelt thanks.

“Merde , you two. Have a wonderful honeymoon. I have to leave now, though. My flight is soon and I can’t afford to miss it.”

That was a barefaced lie. Her flight to Corsica wasn’t scheduled until the next day, but she hadn’t told anyone that information, just in case she needed to make a hasty getaway.

“No, no, no, no. You can’t go yet. We haven’t even done a conga line,” Sam huffed.

Hélène laughed. “Oh, no, how will I ever survive missing that delight?”

“Hey, it’s tradition,” Sam mock sulked.

“I promise, when you guys come down for the grand opening, I’ll throw a party that has the best conga line ever. How’s that?”

“You’re too good to her,” Anna smirked.

“Fine, but I still wish you were staying.” Sam hugged Hélène tightly.

“I know, I’m sorry, but we’ll have plenty of time to party soon.”

“Alright, be safe and message us when you arrive, okay?”

“Will do. I love you two.”

“We love you.” Anna and Sam wrapped her up in one last hug before letting her go. Turning towards the tent entrance, she caught a quick glimpse of Kim, still sitting at the table. Hélène was positive Kim was looking right at her, but she didn’t dare look to find out for sure. She needed to leave—now. So, with her aching heart and tail between her legs, Hélène slunk out and headed for her rental car.

The heat packed a punch, even for October. Europe was suffering through a heatwave even though summer was long gone. Hello, global warming. To be honest, though, Hélène needed the warmth of the sun, because after escaping Sam and Anna’s wedding, the only thing she’d felt was the icy embrace of sadness.

Seeing Kim at the wedding had sent her mind into overdrive. All those reasonably well-thought-out excuses she’d used to justify walking away from Kim, now seemed utterly ridiculous. Her brain was screaming at her how she’d made a colossal mistake.

Tough shit, you’re too late now .

The soft-top car she’d rented once she arrived on Corsica was supposed to make her road trip to Santa Giulia fun, but she was struggling to summon any enthusiasm whatsoever. Her new life was waiting for her. It was the life she’d wanted for so long, but without Kim, everything seemed so lacking.

What was the point of living her dream if the woman of her dreams was with someone else? That was her stream of thought as she traversed Corsica. She didn’t stop for coffee or food. She just ploughed through, letting her mind take her deeper and deeper into a pit of despair. By the time she reached Go Deep Diving Centre , she was completely despondent.

The Go Deep Diving Centre was housed in a relatively new building. It was perfectly located by the water in Santa Giulia. The previous owner had set it up as a dive centre, so everything they needed was already installed. The front of the building was made up of floor-to-ceiling windows, which were tinted so they reflected the water. They couldn’t have got any luckier, especially with the price they’d paid. It seemed Holly’s friend wanted a quick sale, citing something about a costly divorce.

“Jesus, was it that bad?” Holly opened the door to her rental once she’d come to a stop in front of their building. Apparently, that’s when you were supposed to shut off the engine and get out. Hélène had sat there with the car idling until Holly had come over with a severe look of worry on her face.

Hélène tilted her head up to Holly, her brain finally engaging. “The wedding itself was great. It was just the guest list I struggled with.”

“You saw her then?”

“Yes, I did.”

“And?”

“She was breathtakingly beautiful.” Hélène let out a deep sigh.

“Did you talk at all?”

“In a fashion. We couldn’t really get into it.”

“I get you didn’t want to cause a scene, but you guys need to hash this out.”

“Well, it wasn’t just the fact I didn’t want to screw up Sam and Anna’s wedding day. It was also because she came with Greg.”

“Oh, shit.”

“Yes, well, at least I know I got it right. She was always going to go back to him.”

Holly ran her hand up the back of her own neck. “Sorry, mate, this sucks.”

“Yep, it really does. Can we talk about something else now?”

“Yeah, let’s go in and have a drink. After all, we should be celebrating. All the paperwork came through whilst you were away. This place is officially ours.”

Hélène snapped her head up to Holly. They hadn’t had a reason to worry anything with the sale would go wrong, but you never knew for sure, right?

It was a massive relief to know her dream would not be taken away. She had Go Deep , and that’s all she needed. Eventually, her heart would heal. Maybe there would come a time when she could be in the same room as Kim and Greg and not feel violently sick. That scenario was a way off yet, but hopefully, one day.

“Okay, let’s go drink,” Hélène cheered.

“Already ahead of you. There’s a bottle of Champagne waiting.”

“Parfait .”

And it was perfect…mostly.

Twenty-Five

P issed didn’t even come remotely close to how Kim was feeling. Who the hell did Greg think he was? Yeah, sure, their transition from partners to friends was bound to be rocky, but they were supposed to be on the same page.

Kim had made it abundantly clear their romantic relationship was over. So why, for the love of all things sacred, had he acted like a dog marking his territory when Hélène had tried to talk to her? He may as well have cocked his leg on her. And now, as she sat glaring at him, he had the audacity to look innocent, like butter that wouldn’t fucking melt.

Kim had been waiting weeks for the opportunity to talk to Hélène. The only way she’d been able to keep on top of what Hélène was doing was to pester Anna and Sam. After the disaster that was her drunk phone call to Hélène, she’d gone straight to Anna—well, the day after, when she was finally sober—and begged her to get Sam to tell her what the hell had happened in Hélène’s life the night she’d tried to call Kim.

From what Sam had said, Hélène had already been on the fence about their relationship. Her fear of being left had trumped her feelings towards Kim, and by Kim running off to support Greg, she’d played right into Hélène’s anxieties.

Adding the fact Hélène’s mother had opened up a torrent of emotion between them, it was no wonder Hélène had gone off the deep end and cut Kim off. She had been protecting herself in the best way she knew how.

Instead of calling Hélène back, Kim had taken some time to think. Hélène was a beautiful and complex woman. Her issues with commitment and intimacy were all valid. Kim couldn’t imagine how she would feel having no emotional support from her parents and then continuously dealing with people who never stuck around.

The wedding was supposed to be the perfect place to start a line of communication between them. Well, so much for that bloody idea.

“Why do you look like a bulldog chewing a wasp?” Greg barked. Had he really asked her that? Was he that clueless?

“Why did you feel the need to act like a Neanderthal when Hélène was near me?”

“I did no such thing!” The red patches on his neck disagreed with that statement. Even his own body thought he was a jackass.

“Oh, yes, you bloody did. Greg, you knew I wanted to talk to Hélène. Christ, you encouraged me. I thought we were making headway in becoming friends again, but clearly, I was mistaken after that little performance.”

At least he now had the decency to look contrite. “Alright, look, I’m sorry. Seeing you with someone else was harder than I thought it would be, okay?”

“I wasn’t with someone else. I was just trying to have a conversation.”

“Fine, fine, I buggered up.”

“No, not fine. That was the one chance I had to talk to her. She’s gone now. I saw her leave.” She rubbed her hands roughly over her face. She’d made a mistake bringing him with her. Honestly, the only reason she had was because he’d travelled back to Paris to collect his belongings and arrange shipping to England.

Kim had had a flurry of panic when she thought about leaving him on his own at the apartment. Having Greg so close to the place and people that had led him astray was too much to think about, hence the invite to the wedding. She’d made it perfectly clear they were there as friends only.

Over the last few weeks, they’d talked until they were blue in the face. Kim was determined to salvage her friendship with him, and she was positive they were in a good place, but obviously they were not.

“I’m going to talk to Anna. Stay here.” He didn’t even attempt to move.

As she made her way through the marquee, she did her level best to plaster on a smile. After all, it was a wedding. “Hello, you two lovely people.” Sam and Anna turned in unison.

“Oh, Kim, thank you for making today so wonderful,” Anna cooed.

“I didn’t do anything, doll. I just stood up there with you.” Kim giggled at the love-struck puppy eyes Anna was shooting at Sam.

“And that was more than enough. You made our day,” Sam said.

“Well, I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”

They fell silent. Kim caught the look Anna shot Sam. Did they know why she’d come over? Was she that transparent? Sam answered that question.

“She left for the airport.” Kim’s heart sank. “The opening of the dive centre is coming up, so she had to get down there pronto.”

“Yeah, of course.” What else could she say?

“You know it’s not the end of the world, right?” Sam added, squeezing her shoulder. “You could just jump on a plane and go there.”

“After our very brief discussion, I don’t think I’d be welcome.”

“I think you’d be surprised. She’s running. I don’t think she’d be reacting this way if you didn’t mean that much to her. I think she needs someone to show up—prove that they’re gonna stick around.”

Kim looked at her friends again. She could show up, couldn’t she? She could prove to Hélène she was all in—because she was. They may have only been together for a short amount of time, but Kim knew her own mind and heart. Hélène was the person who complemented her.

Kim had never needed someone to complete her. She needed a partner who helped balance her out, challenge her when needed, and support her through life. Hélène made Kim’s life better just by being close. There was a lot they would have to sort through, but she was confident they could if Hélène would just give them a chance.

“What are you going to do?” Anna asked, pulling Kim out of her reverie.

“I’ll plan to fly down there in a few weeks.”

“Good choice. Whilst you’re heading south, maybe it’s time to take up the offer to tour the university you were telling me about?”

Kim had relayed Aurelie’s offer to tour the University of Nice. She was still stuck on the decision. The more she thought about it, the more she knew it was the right call. Returning to science was all she thought about nowadays—well, apart from the ash blonde woman she had fallen for.

It was tricky, though. Upending your life to pursue something that gave no guarantee of a good income or job was daunting. Paris had been a good move, even if she’d recently come to regret it. Her job with Anna was fun and uncomplicated. She had friends and a pleasant apartment. Chucking all that away seemed foolish. Even so, her heart wanted what it wanted. She just had to pull the trigger, which was proving harder than she thought it would be.

“We’ll see. I haven’t decided yet.”

“Hmm, I thought that would be the case. So, I’m going to make it a little easier for you.” Anna was giving Kim all her attention now, which made her feel a little uneasy. Gone was the love-struck bride. Anna had transformed herself into “boss mode” in the blink of an eye. “Kim, I love you, and I couldn’t have asked for a better assistant, but the time has come to let you go. You’re fired.”

Had she heard that right? “I’m sorry, what?”

“You’re fired, effective immediately. You will get a generous severance package and a glowing reference if you should ever need it.” Kim’s eyes darted from Anna to Sam, who, for some ridiculous fucking reason, was smiling like she’d won the lottery. How was this the time to be smiling?

“Firing me? You…you can’t fire me.”

“Actually, I can.” Anna was beaming. And then, it was as if a switch had been flicked. Instead of the unbridled panic that had swirled in her chest moments ago, she felt lighter. Not having to worry about her job and loyalty to Anna had just made her decision infinitely easier.

“Kim, you deserve to do the thing that brings you happiness. We’ve had so much fun working together, but your passion is in science. I don’t want you holding yourself back because of me or anyone else. I think it’s been a long time since you put your wants before anyone else’s.”

Tears pricked at the edges of her eyes. “Thank you. God, I love you.” Kim wrapped her arms around Anna’s waist. Even in her heels, she was still much shorter than her friend. “I’m a little terrified,” she laughed.

“Don’t be. You’re going to do great things, I can feel it. You’re one in a million, Kim.”

“I’ll second that,” Sam chimed.

Today marked the second week since Anna had unceremoniously fired Kim. It also marked her last day ever at Tower Publishing . Over the course of the last fourteen days, Kim had tipped from one end of the emotional scale to the other. She’d been upset Anna had fired her, then she’d felt elated, then back to annoyed. Oh, not forgetting the fear and anxiety of the unknown that plagued her nightly.

As she sat at her desk for the last time, all she could feel was gratitude. She was grateful to Anna for taking a chance on her. There weren’t many people in the world who would’ve chosen Kim for the role as their personal assistant, knowing she had no experience. Anna had, though. She’d hired Kim based on a gut feeling which turned out to be spot on, because—without tooting her own horn—Kim had made this job her bitch. She was a damn good PA.

The hardest part of the week had been helping Anna choose her replacement, although Anna had assured her there was no way she could possibly be replaced. That was sweet. After a gruelling three days of back-to-back interviews, they finally found Anna’s new PA.

Becca Simmons was, in a lot of ways, just like Kim. She’d just arrived from the UK after graduating university. Unlike Kim, though, Becca had a BA in business. Her sense of humour and positive disposition, however, was just like Kim’s.

It was important for Anna to have that kind of influence in her life. Anna was a control freak sometimes and didn’t know when to switch it off. She also took things way too seriously in Kim’s book, but she had relaxed more since meeting Sam. Anna’s job was high-pressure, so finding her the right PA was essential. Becca would need to be everything Kim had been in order for it to work.

“So, you’ll start next Monday. Is that okay?” A sadness gripped Kim’s heart as she thought about not being in the office next week and beyond.

“That’s perfect. I can’t wait to get started,” Becca beamed. Knowing Anna was in safe hands made Kim’s decision to leave even easier.

Everything was in motion now. The lease to her apartment still had another month left on it, giving her enough time to find somewhere in Nice. It felt a little like she was counting her chickens before they’d hatched because she still hadn’t taken the tour Aurelie offered, but it was scheduled for the middle of next week.

Yes, she could get there and hate it, but something in her gut said that wouldn’t be the case. Hours scouring the university’s website had assuaged her of any major concerns. The course she would study looked fabulous and something she could really sink her teeth into. It would also pave the way for her to complete her doctorate.

All that was still a week away. Right now, she had to concentrate on sifting through her belongings and packing them in boxes. In the unlikely event Nice wasn’t the place for her, Kim had decided to move out of the apartment she shared with Greg, regardless.

Greg had accompanied her back to Paris after the wedding. He’d spent several days packing up his things and having them shipped to the UK. His recovery was going well. He was taking it all day by day, and it was clear their breakup had had a positive effect on him, well, on both of them, actually.

Whatever hang-ups Greg had regarding the help Kim and her parents had given him, it was clear he wouldn’t be able to get past them if they remained a couple. He still acted like a jealous arse sometimes, but it was a process. Kim got that. Both their lives had changed so drastically over a very short stretch of time, and they both needed to work through it in their own way.

The clock on her desk read 5 p.m. She’d officially finished her last day. A sad sigh tumbled from her mouth.

“You ready?” Anna called. Her office door had been propped open. Kim watched as her boss—no, ex-boss—gathered up her bag and slipped on her coat.

“Yup, I suppose so.” Anna had convinced Kim to go to a bar for a quick farewell drink. It was the last thing she wanted to do, really, but how could she say no?

“On y va ,” Anna chirped.

The bar was one of their locals. It was only a five-minute walk from the office, which is why they frequented it so much. Kim, being a bit of a social butterfly, had befriended all the staff and bouncers. It would be nice to see them before she left, she supposed.

Anna pushed through the bar door, obscuring Kim’s view. Kim didn’t need to see anything to know there was something odd going on. The place was silent until Anna stepped out of the way and then there was an eruption of noise. Kim reflexively took a step back as a wall of sound hit her. Stood in front of her were the entire office staff, the bar staff, her parents, and Steph and Tash.

“Holy hell,” she blurted. Anna threw her hands around Kim’s neck, giving her a big kiss on the cheek.

“I can’t believe you thought we would let you go without a party.”

For the next twenty minutes, she was swept up in hugs and kisses from her friends. It was all a little overwhelming, but she was floored by the outpouring of love and support.

“What are you guys doing here?” Kim directed to her family and two friends.

“We wouldn’t miss a good knees-up, love.” Her dad smiled and winked.

“Free trip to Paris,” Steph laughed.

“French blokes,” Tash chimed, causing everyone to laugh.

“I’m so proud of you,” her mum cooed, pinching Kim’s cheeks.

“You guys,” Kim giggled.

Wine and Champagne flowed throughout the evening. It was when the second round of “YMCA” was being screamed out that Kim decided she needed water and her bed. She thanked everyone several times over for coming. She really was stunned by their support.

Admittedly, the one person who should have been there…wasn’t. No matter what had happened between them, Hélène had helped her realise she wanted more out of her life.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t to be. Sam hadn’t extended Hélène an invitation because she’d not been sure Kim wanted Hélène to know of her plans to leave Paris. Maybe it was good Hélène was in the dark. Kim wanted the chance to talk to her and, hopefully, put forward a plan to get them back on track. As vintage dresses were her witness, she would not let Hélène go so easily.

Her nerves had been playing silly buggers over the past three days leading up to the university visit. The morning after her party was when it had really hit her. She was leaving and starting a new adventure, all by herself. Well, maybe not entirely alone if everything went to plan.

The Université Côte D’Azur was beyond what Kim had expected. Aurelie had personally taken the time to show Kim around the campus. It was difficult to really concentrate when they were surrounded by such wonderful sights.

Living by the Côte D’Azur wouldn’t exactly be a hardship. She could definitely see herself parading around Nice, basking in the sun with a cocktail… after she’d studied her arse off, of course.

The landscape was so far from what she was used to. She’d experienced it a little in Saint-Tropez, but that had been a holiday. Everything looked magical on holiday.

The houses around Nice were painted in a variety of colours and had terracotta roof tiles. One could forget they were in France at all. The area could easily be mistaken for Spain or Italy.

After taking her on a tour of the university, Aurelie suggested they find somewhere in the heart of Nice for food. They meandered around the small brightly coloured streets. The buildings that towered above were covered in a variety of plants and vines. Little tables and chairs from the cafes and restaurants nestled throughout the small streets littered the pavements. They settled into a hole in the wall place to eat.

“So, what do you think?” Aurelie was perusing the menu as she spoke.

“I’m very impressed.”

“Enough to join us?”

“Yes, definitely.” She’d made up her mind the moment they’d started the tour.

“Excellent. Do you still want to begin part-time?”

“If possible. I have a lot of things to sort out which will require me to travel some; however, I would like to take on a full-time role in the next semester.”

“I can’t see a reason for it to be a problem. I’ll talk to admissions and get the ball rolling. Now, you will be a few weeks behind, but I have every confidence you will catch up quickly.”

“I’m not too worried. I haven’t been away from academia that long and I pride myself on having a strong work ethic.”

Aurelie gave her a quick tip of the head in acceptance.

The one thing Kim was good at was adapting. After seeing how diverse the group of students in her class were, she held no worries about her age being an issue or the fact she’d been away from education for a while.

With the tour wrapped up, it was time for Kim to set her sights on the next part of her plan: Hélène. They definitely had a rocky road ahead of them, but Kim firmly believed they could navigate it. It wasn’t every day two people connected the way they had. If she had to be the one to make some changes to show Hélène she was all in, then she would.

Studying part-time would help. Once the apartment in Paris was sorted and she was settled in Nice, she could look at travelling to Corsica. Aurelie had set her up with work that could be completed online, meaning she could study anywhere.

Maybe if she and Hélène had a few weeks together, she could build up the trust Hélène needed to take them seriously.

First, though, she had to see Hélène and talk to her. Hopefully, she would listen. The problem was Hélène’s protective walls were so high, Kim feared it was going to prove impossible for her to scale them.

Her flight was scheduled for later that night. It would have been a wise choice to stay over in Nice for the night and then head down to Corsica, but at the time of booking, the only thing running through her mind was getting to Hélène as soon as possible.

The plane would arrive at midnight, which was not ideal. She’d have to put up with an airport hotel for the night. If everything went to plan, she’d pick up her rental car at 8 a.m. and begin the drive to Santa Giulia.

It had crossed her mind to contact Holly and give her a heads up, but the thought of Holly warning Hélène, and Hélène bolting, put pay to that idea. Hell, turning up sans warning could also be a big mistake. Hélène could take one look at her and tell her to bugger off. Everything was up in the air, and it was awful.

The next few hours were going to be long and tiring, but what other choice did she have? For the first time in years, Kim felt good about putting her needs first, and Hélène was one of those needs. Her heart told her Hélène felt the same and they could be something wonderful together.

Twenty-Six

T he soft rocking of the boat kept Hélène from emerging from her bed. Buying a small sailing boat instead of a townhouse had been the perfect choice. She was close to work, literally. She could see the centre from her little porthole in her sleeping quarters. There was no rent as the jetty belonged to the diving centre, and she got to wake up to the sound of the sea and the gentle sway of the waves.

The smell of coffee was a pleasant, albeit surprising, delight to have waft in from her little galley. Hélène rolled her eyes. Holly had obviously made herself at home again.

Two weeks ago, when Hélène first took ownership of the vessel she’d named Blonde Bombshell , Holly had spent all her time onboard with Hélène. It had been like having an extended holiday, but now all Hélène wanted was some privacy and space.

Holly had her own apartment—a nice one in fact—but that didn’t matter, apparently. No, Holly had made a vow to someone, somewhere, she would not leave Hélène alone for more than an hour a day, it seemed.

Okay, so Hélène had been in a bit of a funk recently. And yes, maybe Holly had caught her day drinking, but that didn’t mean she needed a babysitter. She was a fully formed adult woman with her own business, for Christ’s sake.

With her irritation spiked, she rolled out of bed and stomped through to the galley. “Hols, why are you here again?”

A little curt, but she wasn’t in the mood for niceties.

“I brought you breakfast,” Holly shot back.

“I have food and I have coffee. I don’t need you smothering me.”

No more nice guy. Holly needed to get it through her head that Hélène was just fine.

“Ah, if you’re referring to the stale bread in the cupboard or the empty packet of filter coffee in the fridge, then yes, you have food…and…coffee. How silly of me to want to help my best friend when she is clearly struggling.”

“I am not struggling. Merde , Holly, I’m fine.”

“You’re fine? Really? That’s what you’re going with? How about you say that again when you’re not wearing a cheese-stained tank top and sweats that have another rather gross stain on them? Have you just started throwing things at your face, hoping they land in your mouth now?”

Hélène looked down at her dirty clothes. Alright, so maybe she wasn’t totally fine. Even so, she could deal with her emotional turmoil alone.

“I just got out of bed. I’m still in my nightwear,” she mumbled.

“That’s even more fucking disturbing, Hélène. You were wearing those clothes yesterday afternoon, which means you haven’t even bothered to wash or change.”

Hélène didn’t have a good comeback because it was true. Since Sam and Anna’s wedding, she’d found herself in a pit of misery, which pissed her off. Starting Go Deep was supposed to be the thing that got her out of her funk. She’d had every intention of cracking on with work the moment she’d arrived back from the wedding, only that hadn’t happened at all.

Once Holly had popped the Champagne and they’d begun celebrating, all of Hélène’s emotions had come spilling out. Blame the alcohol—she did. But then the next day was the same: tears and grief. Losing Kim back to Greg had torn her to shreds. Knowing it was her own fault was completely crippling.

“Look, I know you’re worried, but really, I’m as fine as I can be. I just need some time and space.”

Surely Holly would take the hint now and leave.

“And normally, mate, I would be happy to give you that time and space, but we have a business to run. So far, I’m doing all the bloody work, love. I’m run off my feet and it’s becoming too much. Thankfully, Leo just called and told me he can work with us for a while because I need the help, Hélène. You’re broken-hearted but you won’t talk about it, and that, darl, is the only way you can start healing. Hiding away on your boat is not the answer.”

Ugh, she felt even worse now. Wallowing in her self-pity had been all-consuming. She hadn’t stopped once to consider Holly and the business, which was atrocious. Why Holly would want to run a business with her was anyone’s guess.

Even so, the thought of entering the world again felt wrong. The sun was shining and there were still enough tourists to do a few dives before the end of the season. But all Hélène wanted to do was stay in the dark, away from their stupid smiling faces.

“I’m worried about you…really worried.” Holly’s voice conveyed the sincerity in her words.

“God, I’m sorry, Hol. I’m a terrible business partner.”

“No, you’re not. You are the only person who I want to be in business with, but you have to deal with your shit. Right now, you’re hurting, and that’s all you can deal with, but I need you to actually deal with it so you can be my partner again, Chuck.”

“How? I don’t even know where to start.” A sob ripped through her throat. How could she accept she would never hold Kim in her arms again?

“Come and sit down, have a bit of coffee, and calm down. Let’s talk, and I mean properly talk, about it. All you have told me is you broke it off before she could and she’s back with Greg.”

“Everyone I get involved with leaves and that was what it looked like Kim was doing.”

“But did she actually give you a genuine reason to believe she was running back to her life with the ex?”

“She ran off at the first moment he called.”

“She went to help her best friend, Hélène. If me and you had had a relationship that broke up and I called you in need, would you tell me to sod off?”

“That’s not the same thing.” Hélène’s frustration with the conversation was getting the better of her. Why didn’t Holly understand?

“It absolutely is. And, in all honesty, if you didn’t have so many hang-ups about being left, you would see it too. Don’t get me wrong, I understand why you feel the way you do. Dating is a shitty arena. Getting to know people and then them leaving is tough, but you’re letting those experiences shape your future. Hate me all you like for saying this, but you really screwed up walking away from her.”

“What’s wrong with protecting myself, huh?”

“Nothing at all, but you over-corrected. There was nothing you needed protecting from. Kim was very much all in for that relationship. That was clear as day. Okay, so everything happened quickly, and the timing wasn’t ideal, but she told you she was in, right?”

“Merde ,” Hélène growled. “It doesn’t matter now, does it? She’s gone. I blew it, end of.”

“Well, that’s the stupidest thing you’ve said recently. Call the woman, explain, open up to her, and let her decide what she wants.”

Hélène shook her head. No way. She couldn’t listen to Kim tell her she was happy with Greg. What was done was done. Now she just had to learn to live with it.

“I’m going to shower. I’ll be in the centre in half an hour, ready to work. I appreciate you, Holly. You’re my best friend, and I’m sorry I let you down recently. That’s going to stop now.”

“So, you’re not going to call her then?” Holly looked exasperated.

“I’ll see you later. Thanks for the coffee.” Leaving Holly in the galley, Hélène made her escape. There, she’d done the talking, she’d opened up, and Holly hadn’t understood. Or had she? Jesus, she was so conflicted.

It was a slog to get herself off the boat and into work mode, but right now, as her body plunged into the warm water of the Mediterranean, she could kick herself for hiding away for so long.

Diving always brought her peace. Why hadn’t she done this sooner? The sounds of her breathing crackled through the water, her heart rate slowed, and the sadness that had engulfed her for weeks eased.

Thankfully, the client she was diving with was a seasoned diver. He didn’t need her to guide him or look after him, but that was her job. He just wanted a diving centre that did all the heavy lifting, which was what they offered.

Today’s dive was round the islands located roughly five kilometres from the centre. It wasn’t a technical dive, just a calm meander. It was the first time in weeks that Hélène felt herself. The pain was still there, but it had dulled. The sea had done its job.

Happy the client was satisfied, Hélène began unloading the Zodiac. Her body was aching. Even a short time away from hauling diving gear had rendered her body fatigued beyond recognition. She should hit the weights more often.

Holly had already signed off for the day, which was great. Maybe Hélène could actually get some peace and quiet. After a quick shower in the staff quarters, she headed down the jetty. About ten metres from her boat, she stopped dead.

Sitting on the stern of her boat at her little wooden table, with arms crossed and a rather intimidating glare, was Kim. Hélène should have been terrified. Kim painted quite the picture of a woman scorned, and rightfully so. But Hélène wasn’t terrified, she was elated, and her heart beat heavily for the woman glaring at her with piercing blue eyes and ridiculously high heels.

Travelling to Santa Giulia had not gone well. The plane had sat on the runway for two hours after it had landed, and no one had any clue why. Stumbling into the airport hotel at nearly three in the morning was not fun, especially when the reception desk took another thirty minutes to check her in.

They’d struggled to find her reservation, which nearly tipped her over the edge. Flashbacks to The Sapphire didn’t help. Kim would not spend the night in the hotel lobby. So, after a heated chat with the receptionist, Francine, she was finally given a key to a bog-standard room.

Her sleep had been interrupted three times by other guests stumbling past her door, banging it with their luggage. The alarm that sounded at 7 a.m. nearly gave her a coronary. The shower got to a lukewarm temperature, and the breakfast she was offered consisted of burnt toast and orange juice. Add on to the fact her rental car was late in being returned, which set her back a whopping three hours, Kim was not feeling hopeful about her task of winning Hélène back. Was the sodding cosmos against her or something?

Mercifully, the road from Ajaccio to Santa Giulia had been a breeze. Fortunately, there had been no traffic. The mountain roads had been a little panic inducing at times. The landscape was gorgeous and the sky a light blue with no clouds in sight. The temperature for the time of year was above average and Kim was happy to roll down her windows as she cruised along. The sea air caressed her senses and left her feeling a hell of a lot calmer.

Close to three hours later, Kim pulled her rental car into the drive of the Airbnb she had rented for the week. A week may have been a little presumptive. Hélène could end up telling her to sling her hook after five minutes. She was prepared to stick it out, though.

If Hélène told her to leave, she would, but only as far as her accommodation, and then she would try again. That was the plan, anyway, but after the past twenty-four hours she wasn’t all that confident it would go the way she expected or hoped.

The small villa was perfect. It was nestled in a sweet little neighbourhood about five minutes from the town centre. When booking, Kim hadn’t spent a lot of time picking through the listings. She just needed something affordable and close to the diving centre.

Her choice had been pretty stellar, though. It was a two-bed villa with its own pool out back. The garden and surrounding space were enclosed by palm, pine, and Italian cypress trees. The house was secluded, but not to the point where it felt isolated. Kim could foresee a little skinny-dipping in her future. The bedroom she decided to call her own was on the back of the property, overlooking the luscious landscape and pool. It also had its own balcony she would definitely have her morning coffee on.

A quick glance at her watch told her it was past lunch. She hadn’t eaten since her woefully lacking breakfast this morning. To her delight, she found a small basket of local products and a bottle of wine on the counter in the kitchen. She would give these hosts a five-star rating.

Olives, charcuterie, and cheese adorned her plate as she sat outside by the pool. She’d left the wine for later. Either she’d celebrate with it or she’d use it to drown her sorrows.

With a full stomach, Kim gathered her things and headed back to the car. There was no point in waiting around. She had to get this over and done with, now.

The drive to Go Deep Diving Centre took all of five minutes. There was enough space out front for several cars; however, they were all occupied. The centre must be doing well . The cosmos seemed to have had an attitude change since yesterday, because just as she was about to pull away to find parking elsewhere, a man exited the centre and freed up a space.

Kim took a deep breath. She turned off the car and sat there for a moment. Summoning all the confidence she could, she hauled herself out of the car and went inside.

The foyer was large and open. A counter ran along the back of the room. Posters and price lists hung from the wall behind it. The floor-to-ceiling windows let the sunshine in, lighting up the blue walls. It was like being in an aquarium and Kim adored it.

So far, there had been no sign of Hélène or Holly. Maybe they were out on the water? If that were the case, though, surely they would have locked up? A noise from the back grabbed Kim’s attention. Someone was hauling gear by the sounds of it. Kim could feel her pulse spike and blood pulse in her ears. Was it Hélène?

“Kim?” A broad Australian accent shot through the silence. In her excitement, Kim hadn’t seen Holly walk through the door leading to the back rooms.

“Hi, Holly.”

“Crikey, what are you doing here?” Holly was standing stock-still with her arms full of wetsuits.

“I’m here to sell Girl Scout cookies. What the bloody hell do you think I’m doing here?” she laughed.

Holly’s face softened, and a smile spread from cheek to cheek. “You do not know how glad I am to see you.”

“Right back at ya, doll. Is she here?”

“No, she’s out with a client.” Holly checked her watch. “She should be back in an hour, though. Tops.”

“How are you?” They might as well catch up whilst they waited for Hélène to return.

“You don’t really want to know about me, do you? You want to know about Hélène.”

“Actually, I would like to know about you.” She cast her gaze around the room. “This place looks awesome. You’ve done a fab job.”

Holly beamed with pride. “Ah, thanks, love. I’m pleased as punch. It wasn’t the best time to open, with the season coming to a close so soon, but honestly, we just wanted to get some dives in, and if people want to pay to come along, then that’s bonza.”

Kim laughed. Holly’s exuberance and Australian slang were very endearing. They may have started out with issues, but now Kim considered Holly a friend.

“When do you close for dives?” Kim wanted to get a couple in, if possible.

“Probably next week. The weather’s due to turn. We’ve been super lucky the summer has held on way longer than usual.”

“Well, hopefully, if all goes well today, I can dive with you before you shut.”

Holly eyed her. “And what are you hoping will happen today?”

“I’m hoping Hélène will at least give me the time of day to talk to her. Properly talk. She bolted so bloody fast neither of us had the chance to say what needed to be said.”

“What do you need to say?”

“I think Hélène should be the first to hear it, don’t you?”

Holly studied her longer. Kim never shrunk away from anyone. She stood as tall as she could with her shoulders back as Holly looked her over. What was she thinking?

After several charged seconds, Holly let out a deep sigh. “She needs you.”

“Does she? Because that’s not the impression I get.”

“C’mon, you know why she did what she did. You haven’t come all this way just to shout at her.”

“Yes, I think I know why, but I need to hear it from her.”

“What about Greg?” That question took her by surprise.

“What about him?”

“Well, last I heard, you’d shacked up with him again.”

Kim’s blood boiled. First, because Greg had acted the way he had at the wedding, causing Hélène to make assumptions, and secondly, at Hélène for making those assumptions.

“You were misinformed.”

Holly nodded. They remained silent for a few seconds. Holly looked contemplative again. “Head down to the beach. Walk about fifty metres to the right and you’ll see where you need to wait. I think you’ll also understand why I said she needs you.”

Oh good, a riddle, just what she needed.

“I’ve got to get on. These wetsuits won’t clean themselves. I’ll see ya later.” Holly gave her a sincere smile before retreating to the back again.

Alright, she’d follow Holly’s cryptic clue and head to the beach.

The stretch of beach was huge. Kim followed the white sand as instructed. Fifty metres later, Kim stood looking at a boat that could only belong to Hélène. She now understood why Holly had sent her there. Hélène had named a boat after her.

The Blonde Bombshell was a gorgeous vessel. Spacious, but not over the top. It showed signs of use but was still in excellent shape, and she shone brightly under the Mediterranean sun. The wood trim was polished and smooth. It was perfect for Hélène.

Kim’s ire peaked again. Hélène was not over them, not by a long shot. Nobody named a boat after a woman they weren’t interested in. All this bloody buggering about. Why hadn’t Hélène just communicated—opened up? They could be sitting and sipping Champagne on the back of the Blonde Bombshell right now in their underwear. Instead, they’d spent weeks apart, hurting.

Climbing aboard, Kim headed for the little table that sat at the stern. It was tempting to go inside and have a nosey, but that didn’t feel right. She sat at the table and crossed her legs, staring in the direction of the diving centre.

The longer she waited, the more irritated at the whole situation she became. By the time she saw Hélène descend the wooden walkway, she was livid, and she was positive her face construed her emotional state, too.

Hélène had come to a standstill about ten metres away. Her face was a picture of shock and something else—happiness? “Kim?”

“Hélène.” Kim knew that being anything but kind towards Hélène wasn’t the best start, but she couldn’t help it. Well, not until she saw Hélène flinch at the coldness attached to her name.

Damn it, she just wanted to wrap Hélène up in her arms and tell her everything was going to be okay. She couldn’t do that, though. They had to talk. She needed to hear Hélène wanted to be with her.

“What…what are you doing here?”

“What do you think I’m doing here?”

Hélène opened and closed her mouth several times before clamping it shut. Kim saw her take a deep breath before closing the distance between them. Hélène threw her bag on deck and climbed aboard. Finally, after a few seconds of hesitation, she sat in the chair opposite Kim.

“I’m here because you never gave me a chance to talk. You bolted and left me in your wake, with nothing but confusion and heartache.”

Hélène dropped her gaze from Kim to the table in front of her. “I’m sorry.” Hélène shuffled in her seat before looking back at Kim. “I am sorry, Kim. I really believed it was the right thing to do, but I shouldn’t have cut and run like that.”

“And now?”

“Now?”

“Do you still think it was the right thing to do?”

Hélène shrugged, which irked Kim to no end.

“Don’t shrug, that’s not enough. Tell me if you think it was the right thing to do.”

“At the time, yes.” Well, that stung. “But now…I don’t know.”

“I’ll tell you what I know.” Kim had had enough of this prating about. It was time to get to the nitty gritty. “We had a whirlwind romance that turned out to be so much more than either of us was expecting. Both of us were in a tough place to start something, but we did, and it was glorious. You,” Kim pointed at Hélène, “kept one foot out the door from the beginning. All that bollocks about being cursed. You walked away at the first sign of trouble. I’ll hold my hands up and say the way I ran off to help Greg was insensitive. My only explanation is I was acting on instinct. Watching someone lose their parents is traumatising. Greg was in so much pain; I spent my time helping and looking after him.”

But that was the old Kim. She knew better now. Greg was a grown man, and she had a life to lead for herself.

“I concede I took it beyond what it should have been and put myself to one side in favour of his wants and needs. That has ended now. We are not, I repeat, not together in a romantic capacity, but he will always be my friend, something you’re going to have to get used to. The time we’ve been apart has given me the opportunity to make some changes—positive changes—but it’s also given me the room to assess us . You shouldn’t have walked away, and you most certainly should not have decided what was best for me. I’m the only one who gets to do that.”

Kim sent a penetrating glare at Hélène, reinforcing what she had just said. “You don’t get to tell me I can’t love you. I choose who my heart belongs to, not you.”

“You love me?”

“Yes, unequivocally. It’s quick, but I know my mind and I know my heart, which, Ms DuBois, you have broken. Saying all that, I’m still here today on the boat you clearly named after me to ask you to reconsider. I want us to be together, Hélène. I can help you with your insecurities if you let me. We can do this and we can be happy.”

Hélène regarded her for a minute, making Kim squirm. She let out a squeal of surprise when Hélène swiftly pulled her from the chair and into her arms, crushing their mouths together.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Hélène mumbled against Kim’s lips. “I love you too. Good Lord, Kim, I fell for you right from the start. I’ve been miserable and stubborn and selfish, but I need you. I need you with me.”

“Then you have me. It’s not always going to be easy, but you can’t run, understand?”

“Never again. I’ll only move towards you, never away.”

“Good, now take me below deck and show me how much you’ve missed me.”

Epilogue

“Y ou didn’t have to do this, H.”

“Yes, I did. I have a lot of ground to make up.” Hélène nuzzled Kim’s neck from behind.

It was three years to the day since Kim had turned up in Santa Giulia. Three perfect, and sometimes painful, years.

“No, you don’t. We’re way past that. It was unavoidable missing my graduation. Plus, you got to see it through the live stream, so technically, you were there,” Kim cooed as she turned in Hélène’s embrace.

Standing on her tiptoes, she kissed Hélène’s jaw. A shiver ran down Hélène’s body. Kim drew out Hélène’s primal needs every time she touched her. Hélène had to chastise herself regularly, because if she allowed it, she’d drag Kim to bed every time they were in touching distance, regardless of the situation.

“Remind me to thank Greg for setting up the live stream.” Who would have thought Hélène would be in a position where she was happy to thank Greg and actually class him as a close friend now?

It had taken several months for Hélène to open herself up to Greg. It was still difficult to reconcile the man she saw when he was acting irrationally and the man who was sober.

Kim had made it perfectly clear that Greg would be a part of her life, and Hélène certainly didn’t want her feelings to create a problem in their relationship. She’d followed Kim’s lead, and over a couple of years, they began meeting up more often.

Once Hélène got to know him, she quickly cast aside the man who had lost control. That wasn’t Greg. He’d been in a dark place, but he’d worked hard and was now three years sober. He was kind, funny, and completely supportive of Hélène and Kim.

“Look at it as my way of congratulating you,” she continued. “I’m so proud of you, my love.” They kissed again. “Plus, you’re going back to Nice in a few weeks to start your post-doc, so this little getaway gives us time together before we spend weeks apart.” Hélène had taken charge of Connie for a couple of weeks. She’d whisked Kim away for some quality time alone.

From the moment Kim arrived in Santa Giulia, she’d mucked in with the diving centre. She’d become their unofficial receptionist. Kim was wonderful with the customers and when they closed for the season, she chipped in with any manual labour that needed doing.

All that work meant Hélène and Kim hadn’t got the alone time they thought they would, which was hard, considering Kim could only visit every few weeks because of her uni schedule.

Running Go Deep was a partnership. Hélène couldn’t just take weeks off at a time to spend with Kim, so they ended up hanging out with Holly and Leo more times than not. That wasn’t conducive to quality romance time.

Holly and Kim had quickly formed a close bond. Their back-and-forth banter was hilarious. They had a wonderful group of friends, which made Hélène stupidly happy. She loved that the group was their friends, not just Kim’s, and not just Hélène’s.

The harder parts of their years together, aside from the time spent in different places, were the emotional ones. Hélène had spent so long shoving her feelings to one side, it took a lot of time and patience for Kim to coax them out. Kim pushed Hélène to open up. She pushed to make sure Hélène expressed herself, even if that meant upsetting Kim. They rode out the choppy waters together and every day led to Hélène feeling more secure in their relationship.

In the beginning, the hardest part for Hélène had been when Kim explained she would be leaving for university. The thought of Kim living elsewhere had sent slivers of panic into every one of her limbs. Her anxieties had raised their ugly heads on more than one occasion.

At one point, Hélène had almost told Holly she was leaving the centre to follow Kim to Nice. Kim had overheard Hélène talking to herself in the mirror, trying to pump herself up to break the news to Holly. Thank God Kim had overheard because it led to Hélène confessing how utterly terrified she was of Kim leaving.

Hélène’s brain had convinced her Kim would meet someone else or the work would become too much and she’d leave Hélène in pursuit of her career. Kim had treated Hélène with love and patience. She’d acknowledged Hélène’s fears and helped her talk them through. It had taken some time, but eventually, Hélène realised they didn’t need to follow each other or live in each other’s pockets to be happy.

They could do the things that made them happy separately and still be together. The distance between them geographically didn’t diminish their love for each other or their commitment.

Kim was doing something she was passionate about, and that made Hélène ecstatic. Hélène had her dream job, too. The centre had become a success in the first season. The past two years had been booked solid, and they were now scouting other locations to set up new centres.

“I had your bags put in your room,” Hélène commented. Kim raised her eyebrows questioningly.

“My room? Don’t you mean our room?”

“No, I meant your room. I thought we could get set up like the last time we were here. You know, play it coy for a while until you use your womanly charms to seduce me.” They hadn’t made it back to Connie since their first time together.

“Until I… The nerve of you, Ms DuBois.” If Kim weren’t such a remarkable scientist, she should have tried acting. The fake outrage was almost too good to be fake until she quirked her mouth up at the side. “You’re going to pay for that.”

“Oh, good.” Hélène drew Kim in for another mind-melting kiss. Connie was operating on a skeleton crew, which was good because Hélène and Kim were getting more than friendly on the observation deck. “I’m taking you to bed,” Hélène growled. Her libido was through the roof.

“Oh, are you really?” Kim asked defiantly. Hélène threw her a wicked smile before launching Kim over her shoulder, causing her to squeal in surprise. The squeal turned into laughter as Hélène jogged to their suite with Kim holding on for dear life.

The door had only just clicked shut when Hélène held Kim up against it. Kim’s legs naturally wrapped around Hélène’s waist.

“God, you’re sexy,” Hélène moaned. Kim was rolling her hips, trying to build some friction.

They were still in their travelling clothes, which, thankfully for Hélène, meant Kim wearing an easy access dress. Hélène cupped and squeezed Kim’s backside, massaging it as her hips continued to roll.

“Bed,” Kim gasped. Hélène moved them to the bed. They’d arrived later in the day and the sun was setting. The sky was a mass of golden hues. The light poured in through the windows. Hélène looked down into Kim’s eyes as she gently placed her on the bed. Kim was a vision of exquisite beauty. The golden rays made her glow, and Hélène couldn’t stop the tears from falling.

“Hey, hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Kim cupped Hélène’s face with her palm.

Hélène gently shook her head from side to side. Sometimes she would look at Kim and her breath would be stolen from her lungs. Knowing she’d almost lost this perfect woman was sometimes too much, even after all this time.

“I just love you so much.”

“Oh, Hélène, I love you too, sugar.” Kim smiled sweetly, then drew Hélène’s head down for a kiss. “Make love to me, H.”

More than happy to oblige, Hélène gently slipped the dress up and over Kim’s body. She had to bite her lip to stop a moan from escaping. That’s the reaction Kim’s lace-clad form elicited.

She let her fingers roam over Kim’s sculpted abdomen. She noted the increased speed with which Kim was breathing. Her fingers brushed delicately over her tight nipples, then down to the edge of Kim’s lace thong. Every brush of skin sent magical pulses through Hélène’s fingers and up to her chest. It would be so easy to lose herself in Kim’s creamy, soft skin.

“Hélène.” Kim’s body squirmed underneath her. She hooked her fingers underneath the waist of the lacey garment and gently pulled it away, dropping it to the floor. Kim’s sex was mouthwatering.

Extracting herself, Hélène stood and undressed. She didn’t rush. She enjoyed Kim watching her, and she loved to see the love and lust in her eyes as Hélène revealed more of her body, little by little. Kim sat up and discarded her bra. They were both naked and wanting. Lowering herself back down to Kim, she took one of her breasts into her mouth, causing Kim to shift and moan.

Their lovemaking was so different from their fucking. They enjoyed taking each other, sometime ferociously, often up against walls or other furniture. They played with toys and experimented with positions. They would whisper dirty things in each other’s ears, but not when they made love. That was silent. They let their bodies do the talking. Their movements were slow, deliberate, and all-consuming.

Instinctively, Kim parted her sex as Hélène settled between her legs. Hélène slid her pussy against her lover’s. Together, they moved. Their hips rocked as they settled into a rhythm. All the time, their eyes remained glued to each other. There was nothing quite so extraordinary as looking into her soulmate’s eyes as she gave Kim all of herself.

Kim’s chest was red and small beads of sweat had formed. Their breathing was equally ragged as they continued to move.

“Oh, baby,” Kim gasped.

Hélène pressed herself harder into Kim. Her own orgasm began to swirl and build in her core. “Come with me,” Hélène moaned. Her climax was fast approaching. Their cries of ecstasy broke the surrounding silence.

It took several minutes for their breathing to normalise. Hélène remained between Kim’s legs. She’d stay there forever if she could.

“I’m going to miss you.” Knowing Kim was leaving soon was hard to cope with, but she knew it was important for her to do it. Kim had waited and worked far too hard to do anything else.

“About that,” Kim began. Hélène looked at her with furrowed eyebrows. Kim grinned wildly. “There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

Not what Hélène was expecting. “Okay, is everything alright?”

“Oh, yes. I’ve been given the opportunity to take part in a research study. I’ll be required to travel around the world for about a year.”

Hélène was stunned into silence. Her feelings were a mess of contradictions. Proud, happy, sad, fearful—you name it, she was feeling it. Weeks apart from Kim were torture. How the hell was she going to cope with an entire year? “Wow…I…Kim, congratulations.”

She sounded sincere, right?

“Thanks, doll.” Kim was beaming. Hélène was a little upset. She seemed so happy to be going. Her face obviously gave her away. “No need to look so glum, sugar. You’re coming with me.”

Okay, now Hélène was stunned. “What?”

“So, I’ve been plotting.” She cast a devilish smile at Hélène. “You were going to be travelling to look for new locations to open more diving centres and I thought you could do that with me. I’ve squared it with Holly and with the research team I’ll be joining. We can sail ourselves around the world whilst we work. Together.” Hélène’s mouth gaped open. “What do you think?”

“What do I think? I…I think we have a lot of planning to do before we leave. You need to fill me in on all the details and then you need to agree that on one of our stop offs, preferably a tropical beachy one, you become Mrs Kimberley DuBois.”

It was Kim’s turn to gape now. No, she hadn’t got down on one knee and asked, but she’d meant it all the same. Hélène knew Kim was the only woman she wanted to experience life with. They would make new memories, experience new adventures, and they’d do it together, forever.

“Only if we can have piña coladas during the service.”

“I suppose that can be arranged,” Hélène chuckled. Trust Kim to joke right now.

“Well, in that case, yeah, a beach wedding would be good.”

“Good? Well, what would make it unforgettable?”

Kim leaned up and captured Hélène’s bottom lip between her teeth. “Every moment in time is unforgettable with you, my love.” They deepened the kiss. “Now, sugar, get strapped. We have a proposal to celebrate.” Kim grinned, slapping her arse.

Hélène laughed out loud. Their lives were going to be magnificent.

Always Emilie

Alyson Root

J&M Books

Contents

Dedication

Introduction

1. One

2. Two

3. Three

4. Four

5. Five

6. Six

7. Seven

8. Eight

9. Nine

10. Ten

11. Eleven

12. Twelve

13. Thirteen

14. Fourteen

15. Fifteen

16. Sixteen

17. Seventeen

18. Eighteen

19. Nineteen

20. Twenty

21. Twenty-One

22. Twenty-Two

23. Twenty-Three

24. Twenty-Four

25. Twenty-Five

Epilogue

Afterword

Other Titles By Alyson Root

Fullpage image

For all those who got their second chance.

Always Emilie is written in British & Canadian English.

There is a mix of spelling within each chapter. This is a stylistic choice, as I wanted each character to remain authentic to their origin.

This includes certain punctuation.

One

“H olymotherfuckingshitballs,” Charlie growled through gritted teeth. Her arm was on fire. Hours of having her skin scraped by the mechanical needle was taking its toll on her pain threshold.

“I’m adding another tenner to your bill for that one.” Max laughed as he sprayed her arm with water before wiping the excess ink off with some kitchen roll.

“Ten quid? Are you taking the piss?”

“Eleven now. You really need to get a grip on your swearing, lady.”

Charlie had a few more choice words she wanted to throw at him, but the pain on her arm stopped her from unloading.

“There, done, all finished.” Max rolled his chair back, tilting his head as he looked at his work.

Charlie let out the breath she’d been holding. Why did she do this to herself? She knew why. She’d wanted tattoos since she was a kid. It had taken her until her thirtieth birthday before she’d summoned the courage to get her first one.

“Take a look,” Max urged.

This was Charlie’s favourite part. Gripping the arm of the chair, she hoisted herself up. Her legs were dead from sitting for so long and her arse was tingling with pins and needles.

The tattoo studio was small. It only had enough space for two tattoo artists, a piercing station, and a small reception area. Across from the piercing station was a floor-to-ceiling mirror. Making her way across the room, Charlie let her gaze wander over her new ink. Tears welled in her eyes. Max had captured her vision perfectly.

“So, what d’ya think?” He knew what she thought. His wide smile said it all.

“Max, you nailed it.”

“Yeah, I did.” He laughed as he began breaking down his station. “You know the procedure by now, so I won’t go over it again. Look after those beauties. I worked hard on them.”

Max really was a master artist. He was unlike any tattooist Charlie had ever met, though. His skin was completely devoid of any ink. Max was a haemophiliac. His blood’s inability to clot prevented him from getting tattoos. Well, it was strongly discouraged by medical professionals, and Max had heeded those warnings. Thankfully, his husband Ben was more than happy to let Max use his body as a canvas for all the tattoos that Max wanted but couldn’t have.

Max also ran his tattoo studio like a high-end boutique. Gentle music played from the stereo system. The space was immaculate—as a tattoo studio should be. The reception area offered a plush sofa with a glass coffee table in front. Opposite was a coffee station with every coffee flavour known to man. The reception desk was made from solid oak and it served to separate the front of house from the tattooists, as well as welcoming clients. The walls were cream with tastefully selected photographs of Max’s work, which ran from one end of the wall to the other. The photographs were fabulous—well, they would be, Charlie had taken them, after all. At the back of the shop was a full washroom and kitchen area for Max and Ben.

Charlie had been friends with Max for twenty-five years. They’d grown up living next door to each other, but hadn’t spent all their time together as children. Max had gone to a different school and Charlie was painfully shy, so she never sought him out on her own. They had the odd afternoon playing together when Charlie’s parents needed her out of their way.

Over the years, they’d kept in touch, and it was only about eight years ago they reconnected properly. It hadn’t taken them long to form a strong friendship, and Max was the one to give Charlie the confidence to get her first tattoo. The rest is history, as they say. Charlie wouldn’t go anywhere else now.

Max’s forte was hyperrealism. It was as if the art he created came alive on the skin. Charlie could attest to it; her body was proof.

“Shall we get a video of the whole thing now it’s done?” Max enquired. They’d taken pictures throughout the entire process, but now Max wanted to do a 360° video of the finished piece.

Unlike her childhood years, Charlie was no longer shy. It had taken a lot of time and help to gain the confidence she had now, but she’d done it. Her body was beautiful. She was worth loving. How sad that she had to repeat the sentence in her head to function. Her therapist had spent hours helping her and so had her best friend, Sam. All those insecurities were because she had shitty parents who never gave a damn. Charlie rolled her eyes at herself. It did no good feeling sorry for herself, especially not today. Today she was finally at the end of her tattoo journey, and she couldn’t wait to see the complete result.

“Yeah, let’s do it. You got the camera ready, Benny Boy?”

“Yeah, all set up in the back room.”

Charlie followed Max and Ben. The back room was actually a very large storage space, which had been cleared out and had a white drop sheet installed for the photographs Charlie took of Max’s work.

“Get your kit off then,” Max shouted from behind the drop cloth.

“You’re a real charmer, Max. I see why Ben fell over backwards to be with you,” Charlie smirked. Max had spent three years trying to win Ben over, who hadn’t wanted to give attention to any of his attempts. Ben had been hurt badly in his last relationship and wanted nothing to do with men ever again. That was until Max swept in and vowed to win his love. Inevitably Ben caved, and it was a good job he did. Those two men were made for each other.

“He couldn’t resist me,” Max laughed.

“Er, I think I resisted you for quite some time there, handsome,” Ben chuckled, rolling his eyes at his husband.

“No way, you were just playing a little hard to get. You were always mine.” Max wrapped his arms around Ben and kissed his cheek.

“Oh, Jesus, you two make me sick,” Charlie mock gagged. Stripping off her top and bra, she stood in front of the camera.

“Oh, I got a new toy to play with for this,” Ben hollered, rummaging through a box that sat next to the door. He produced something that looked like a bulletproof vest. “Look at this beauty. You attach the camera to the front. Obviously, you wear it like a vest. The little thingy here stabilises the camera so I can walk around you without the video being jittery.”

“That’s awesome,” Charlie stated, because it really was. She was a massive tech nerd and could spend the day talking about it with Ben, who was equally nerdy.

“Alright you pair, before I lose you to the world of geek, can we get this video done?”

Charlie stood back in the middle of the room. Max passed her a hair tie to move her long mane out of the way.

“Okay, Char, just stand straight and look forward. I’ll do all the work,” Ben said, manoeuvering himself into position. Charlie stood tall, looking at a spot on the wall as Ben circled her. The task only took a few minutes, but the end result was phenomenal. Ben loaded the footage onto his laptop.

All of Charlie’s tattoos had been meticulously planned. Charlie wanted her ink to represent everything she held dear in her life. Max had taken those ideas and made them into reality.

Her back—well, the middle column—was adorned with a creeping rose bush. It was so realistic it felt like each flower could be plucked right off her skin. The thorny stems intertwined with each other, growing up her spine. In between the thorns and flowers, Max had filled the spaces with individual memories. From afar only the roses and thorns were visible, but up close, greyscale pictures emerged.

The roses were an homage to her grandmother. Estelle Munroe was the only woman in Charlie’s childhood who gave a damn. The problem was Estelle had been rather old when she’d had Charlie’s mum, so by the time Charlie needed her, Estelle was too fragile. Their time together had been mostly spent in Estelle’s nursing home. Charlie would take herself there as often as possible.

Charlie’s most vivid memories were of Estelle tending to her rose bushes in the communal garden. The colours of those flowers had always mesmerised Charlie. The petals were so soft and she loved running her fingers over them as she listened to her grandmother talk. Sadly, Estelle passed away the week before Charlie’s twelfth birthday. That was the start of Charlie’s most lonely period.

Tears pooled in her eyes as she watched the video. Max had got the colour of the roses spot on. The image catapulted her back to those wonderful afternoons with Estelle. That was the reason she wanted these tattoos; to remind herself of all the love she had and not the love she was denied by her parents.

The camera panned round her left arm. Roses flowed seamlessly over her shoulder and down to her elbow. The pattern mirrored on her right arm. The rose buds were smaller on her arms compared to her back. They were also a myriad of different colour shades. Estelle had always had a variety of roses she cared for.

Charlie’s left arm went from deep velvet red, which covered her back to pink and orange flowers. Her right arm had blue and lavender petals. Each colour represented something that Charlie held close to her heart. The red roses were love; the love for her grandmother. Orange was for enthusiasm and passion, which Charlie felt for her work and her business. The light blues represented sensitivity and feeling. They were for her best friend, Sam, and lastly, the lavender, which meant love at first sight. Only Charlie knew who those roses were dedicated to.

“Oh, Max.” Charlie’s voice was saturated with so much emotion she could hardly talk.

“Honey, you are a master,” Ben added.

“It’s been one of the most rewarding projects I’ve done. So thank you, Char, for trusting me with it.”

“I wouldn’t go anywhere else, you know that.”

“Do you mind if I put this on the website?” Ben asked.

“Not at all.”

“Sure? Your Tatty Bojangles are on show,” he laughed.

“Tatty Bo… Are you ten?” Charlie laughed along with them, shaking her head. “No, I don’t care. Anyway, they advertise your piercings, so that’s a bonus.” Charlie had both nipples pierced, too.

“Excellent. I’ll get editing and upload it then.” Ben clapped with enthusiasm before burying himself in the video editing software he’d already loaded.

“Let’s have a coffee, get some sugar in you, and then you can get off,” Max said, passing Charlie and heading out the door. Two sugary coffees and a digestive biscuit later, Charlie stepped out onto the street.

Oxford Street was rammed as per usual, and the thought of trying to fight her way through to the Underground sat as well as getting a tonsillectomy. The cab fare to get home was astronomical, but she could afford it. Her business with Sam was a raging success.

S. C. Photography had been their brainchild for the last four years. Charlie had originally started as an employee. She was happy doing the work without the responsibility; however, it hadn’t taken Sam long to convince her to become a full business partner. Their careers had taken them around the world, which is why a lot of Charlie’s filler tattoos were of different places around the globe.

The door to her home and the main HQ of S. C. Photography creaked open. Bowman Manor was a property that had been in her family for generations. Charlie came from old money, but she knew better than anyone that all the money in the world couldn’t guarantee happiness.

Bowman Manor had been the last place Estelle had lived. When Estelle moved into the retirement home, Charlie’s parents moved them in. It was the only home she could remember well. Although she used the term home loosely. Charlie’s parents, Kevin and Lucile Baxter, spent the bare minimum of time in the manor. Charlie was effectively raised by part-time nannies. That was until she reached an age where she could fend for herself, and then she was on her own.

The lower half of the mansion was used for Charlie and Sam’s business. The top floor was all Charlie’s. Her parents had leased the building to them to begin with. Last year, however, Charlie had been surprised to find out they’d signed Bowman Manor over to her completely. Apparently, it’s what Estelle had originally requested. Why it took them over twenty years to oblige was anyone’s guess.

As soon as the ink on the contract was dry, Charlie had used a tiny portion of her very large trust fund to completely redesign the top floor. Instead of there being several stuffy rooms, the upper floor was now one large, open plan apartment. Her trust fund had always made her feel queasy, and she’d never taken a pound out of it until the overhaul of the manor. Estelle would have wanted her to use the money for that.

Normally, the only thing she associated with the bulging bank account was disappointment and pain. Her mum had commented several times, that what she lacked in love, she made up in money. Lucile was a real piece of work.

Carol sat at her desk in the main reception area. Charlie hired her two years ago when things were really getting busy. Sam lived in France and ran the French portion of the business, which was a lot smaller. Charlie had gotten overwhelmed with the organisation side of things and eventually conceded she needed help.

Carol was sixty-five and as sharp as a knife. She never suffered fools, and she had a fierce protective streak when it came to those she loved. Sometimes Charlie didn’t know how she’d managed without the old girl for so long. “Old girl” was Charlie’s favourite nickname for Carol because it wound her up to no end. They had a wonderful working, and private, relationship.

“Hello, Stretch, tats all done?”

Stretch was Carol’s nickname for Charlie. No surprise why. Charlie stood at 5’8” whereas Carol was a petite 4’9” at best.

“Ah, there’s my favourite old girl. How’s the hip?”

“Well, I’m about to stand up and kick you up the arse, so let’s find out.”

Charlie barked out laughing. “Max has done a beautiful job. I couldn’t be any happier.”

“Well, that’s marvellous, love. I’ve been thinking of getting one, you know. My Sarah thinks I would look good with one on my foot or something.” Sarah was Carol’s youngest and wildest child.

“Deffo! Go for it. Let me know if you really want to and I’ll book it with Max.”

“You pay me well, Stretch, but not Oxford Street well,” Carol scoffed mockingly.

“One second.” Charlie held up her finger and withdrew her phone. After a few brief minutes of tapping, she put it away again. “Right, done. Max is ready when you are, and the bill is taken care of.”

“Charlie Baxter,” Carol boomed, “you can’t… I never…”

“Too late, it’s already done, and if you refuse, you’ll hurt my delicate feelings.”

Carol drew in her eyebrows and scowled, causing Charlie to laugh again. “You’re too good, young lady.”

“No, I’m lucky to have you, Carol. Now, any messages? Or have you been sitting around knitting all morning?”

“Oh, you cheeky bugger. Here, a couple of letters, but that’s all.”

Charlie took the letters and kissed Carol on her cheek. “I’ll be upstairs for a little while. I don’t have anything booked for the day, so I’m gonna chill. You get off early if you want.”

“Alright, love. Call if you need me, though. I’m going to stick around for the next hour or two. Your two minions should be back by then and I want to make sure they’ve seen their updated calendars.”

Charlie grinned. Carol called Charlie’s two apprentices, minions, because their names were Stuart and Bob—well, Bobby, but that was neither here nor there. The names stuck and they found it funny. So much so, they both came dressed as minions for Halloween.

“Okay, just ring if you need me.” With that, Charlie took the stairs up to her floor. The brick walls had been left exposed. The floor was hardwood and ran throughout the entire apartment. After the work had been completed, everyone who visited was stunned. It was a mix of old and new. Estelle would have loved it.

As she walked through the double doors at the top of the stairs, Charlie’s phone vibrated. There had to be a mistake. Why on earth was Mr Eccleton calling her?

“Hello?” This should be interesting. Mr Eccleton was her form tutor from Pickerton Academy; a private school she was shipped off to at the age of fifteen.

“Ms Munroe?” Jesus, he still had that monotone voice that put her into a coma after thirty seconds.

“It’s Ms Baxter now.” She hadn’t used her stage name in a very long time, and she wasn’t going to start now.

“My apologies, Ms Baxter. I hope you don’t mind; I got your number off of the school’s donor website. Is this a good time to talk?”

No, it wasn’t a good time. It was never a good time. She had solid plans to veg on the sofa with her PS4 for the rest of the day.

“I have a few minutes.” Way to stand your ground, Char!

“Excellent. I’m ringing to make sure you received your formal invitation to the Pickerton Annual Christmas Ball.”

Crap . Yes, she’d received it. She got the bloody thing every sodding year.

“Oh, um, I’m not sure.” Lies, lies, lies. The invitation was currently in her recycling bin.

“Well, I’ll email you another. This year is extremely important. We’re celebrating twenty years of our outreach programme Drama 4 All and we have planned a splendid event. Nearly all the alumni will attend and I’d hoped you would be included, Ms Baxter. Between you and me, we hoped you would join your old bandmates again and do a little performance for us. Show the current students the quality that Pickerton can produce.”

Oh, hell no, no fucking way, not on your nelly!

“I would be happy to donate some more money if that helps, but I don’t feel it’s possible to attend. Christmas is by far my busiest time, and my calendar is completely booked.”

“Oh, I do hope you’ll reconsider, Ms Baxter. You were one of the brightest pianists I ever had the honour of teaching. Plus, and I’m sorry that this will seem like I’m trying to manipulate you, but we have a young girl attending who, well, who has had a rather rough time of it lately. Her parents were killed in a car accident six months ago. She was due to start with us this year but had to pull out. She has to move to be with her closest kin and, well, this ball is the only bit of Pickerton she will get to experience. Grace was so looking forward to seeing our best and brightest play.”

Right. Poor unfortunate kid who’s just lost her parents. Fan-fucking-tastic. How could she say no now?

Charlie cleared her throat. “Send me the invite and I’ll add it to my calendar.”

“Oh, Ms Baxter, that’s wonderful.”

A thought struck her as she was about to hang up. If the band was coming back together, did that mean everyone ?

“Just out of interest. Who in the band has agreed?”

“Everyone. I must dash. See you in a few weeks.” The phone went dead. Shit, she didn’t get the answer she was looking for. But, surely, he couldn’t mean everyone, could he? Anyway, Emilie Martin would be far too busy to attend a school ball, right? Oh, God, what if she turned up?

On the very slim chance Emilie would be there, Charlie was not going to be alone. No, sir. Seventeen-year-old Charlie was in the past. Gone were the pimples, greasy hair and chronic shyness. If she had to see Emilie again, it would be with a beautiful woman on her arm. Emilie would see that what she’d done to Charlie back then had no effect on her whatsoever.

The phone rang and rang. Eventually, a breathless Sam picked up. “Dude, this better be important.”

“I need your wife.” Silence. Okay, she probably could have phrased that a tad better.

“Care to elaborate on that, mate?”

“Yes, I need Anna. Put her on the phone.”

There were several muffled noises before Anna spoke. “I hear you want me,” she laughed.

“I need you, desperately.”

“For?”

“A school Christmas ball.”

“A what?” Sam bellowed. Of course, Anna was on speaker.

“Look, I need to borrow Anna for the night. I need a date and I need it to be with someone I’m comfortable with.” That should be sufficient, right? No need to go into detail.

“Nice try, buddy. How about you explain fully before I lend you my wife?”

“Lend me , Sam? I’m not cattle. I’ll decide who gets me and who doesn’t, thank you very much.”

“Of course, my love. You know what I mean.”

“Good job I do.”

“I love you.”

“Hello, I’m still here, you know,” Charlie called in frustration.

“Sorry, Charlie,” Anna replied. “Listen, come over this weekend and we’ll talk. You can explain why you need an escort and we can see our very best friend. It’s been a while.”

“Alright, I’ll book a ticket. See you this weekend.”

“That’s it, we’re just leaving the conversation there?” Sam huffed.

“Yes, mon amour . It’s clear Charlie doesn’t feel comfortable telling us right now so it can be saved for the weekend. Everything is better face to face, anyway.”

Charlie smiled. She loved how understanding Anna could be. “See you both soon. Love you.”

“Love you,” they called in unison.

Okay, she had a plan. Shit, Sam was going to be pissed once Charlie explained everything. Although Sam and Charlie had been best friends since the first week of university, Charlie had omitted some things from her middle school years.

Sam was going to be hurt she’d kept such a big part of her life a secret. The moment she left for university, Charlie had put the academy and all the bullshit that went with it in her rearview mirror. Ideally, that’s where it should stay forever, but with the ball on the horizon, Charlie knew she was on borrowed time. Pickerton was calling and Charlie would have to answer.

Two

D ecades may have passed, but the same melody still ran through Emilie’s head. Her pre-show ritual was sacrosanct, and everyone in her crew knew better than to interrupt her.

Sitting cross-legged on her dressing room floor, she let the sound of her favourite musical piece play. To anyone else, the room was silent, but for Emilie, it was filled with music. The notes floated across her eyes as the music played on. No one knew what Emilie thought of or what she heard when she took time to ready herself. The ritual was hers, and hers alone. The piece ended, and with it, her prep time. Opening her eyes, she took a deep lungful of air through her nose and let it out through her mouth. She was ready.

As usual, her guitar stood next to her dressing table. Emilie smiled as she perused her new instrument. Her name was big enough that guitar makers around the globe fought to have her play one of their instruments. For Emilie, though, she always stuck to what she knew.

Her very first guitar had been a hand-me-down from her grandfather when she was six. A beat-up old Fender. That guitar had been with her for nearly thirty years. Now it sat in its custom-made case on her touring bus. She only played it privately.

For shows, she would take her newly gifted American Acoustasonic Jazzmaster on stage. It was a thing of beauty, and the sound it produced still sent shivers up her spine.

“Five minutes, Em.” Jack’s voice was muffled through the closed door.

“Got it,” she called back. In five minutes, she would stand in front of twenty thousand people screaming her name. Adrenaline pumped. This was her favourite part. Even with twenty years of performing under her belt, she always felt the rush. It wasn’t something she would ever get used to, and it was wondrous.

Her outfit had become a little disheveled. Wardrobe was going to kick her ass again. It was bound to happen, though. Emilie couldn’t just lounge around, she had to be moving or doing something to curb her excitement. Normally, she would write songs or she’d pace with her guitar, playing random music to occupy herself. All that moving around left her pants wrinkled and her shirt askew; nothing that a quick pull here and there couldn’t fix.

“Em, it’s time.” Jack again. He was a taskmaster sometimes, but as her manager and friend, she cut him some slack. He worked hard and had been loyal to her for nearly two decades. She picked up her guitar and made her way to the stage. The rest of the band would already be congregated, waiting for her. “You ready?” Jack always asked her that.

“Of course.” Never in all her years as a performer had she not been ready. It’s what she lived for. They turned the corner and headed to the small group of people waiting in the wings.

“Let’s bring it in, people.” The night might be about her, but Emilie was under no illusion: none of it would be possible without her bandmates. Jess Hill was one of her original band members. She was 5’4” with short black hair, and was one of the best drummers on the planet. They’d met at fifteen and had quickly formed a close bond.

Back then, it was difficult to know if kids wanted to be Emilie’s friend because they liked her or because they wanted to jump on the Emilie Martin bandwagon. Emilie had been in the spotlight since she was fourteen. Her voice had thrust her into the big leagues quickly. At the time it had seemed like a dream come true, but in reality, it left her unprepared to deal with what her change of status would bring: Fans, yes. Money grabbers, definitely. Brandon, her uncle, had done everything in his power to help her navigate the world of fame and fortune. For the most part he’d succeeded, but there were still a few times the wrong people had gotten close to her.

By the time she was closing in on her sixteenth birthday, she’d learned her lesson and was notoriously picky about the people she surrounded herself with. Jess had proven trustworthy and loyal, and she was one of Emilie’s oldest friends.

Lance Bishop was her bass player. He’d joined her ten years ago after Billy, her original bassist, passed away from a heart attack. Lance was a few years older than Emilie’s thirty-six years. He wore his hair long and unbrushed, which drove Emilie a little insane. Thankfully, he wasn’t allowed to wear any of his favourite Hawaiian shirts on stage. The man exuded “beach hippie”, but he was a talented bass player and that’s all that mattered.

Last but not least: Liz Roper. Liz was another can or worms entirely. Stupidly, Emilie had slept with her after a drunk night out and now things were all kinds of awkward. The world population knew Emilie was gay. That wasn’t the problem. It was because Emilie was usually so strict about crew members hooking up. Liz had been cool about it. They continued to play well together, but now there seemed to be an expectation they would sleep together again. An expectation Emilie had been shockingly bad at rebuffing. Hell, she got lonely sometimes, and if Liz could keep it casual, then maybe they could be friends with benefits. Maybe.

Liz cracked her knuckles as they gathered around in a circle. Was it healthy for a pianist to crack her hands like that?

Get your head in the game!

“Okay, gather ’round my lovelies. It’s the last show of the tour. Let’s go out there and give them everything we’ve got.” They wrapped their arms around each other, spurring each other on. The tour had been long and tiring, and even though Emilie loved what she did, she was ready for some downtime. But first, one last show.

The rest of the band took to the stage first, revving up the crowd. Emilie donned her award-winning smile and stepped out of the shadows. The noise hit her like a wall. Twenty thousand people screamed at the top of their lungs for her. The stage lights made it difficult to see out, but it didn’t matter. The sheer force of the crowd’s energy pulsed through the air.

“Well hello, everyone.” The crowd roared louder. Emilie enjoyed conversing with the audience. It made them feel like they were a part of the show, and it made Emilie feel connected to them. “Shall we get this show on the road? I think I’ll start with my favourite number.”

Emilie swung her guitar around from where it had been hanging off her back. The microphone was already adjusted perfectly. Her lips brushed the metal of the mic head. She strummed the opening chord to Losing My Head Over You , which was the first song Emilie had written at sixteen. The song had been an instant hit. The single had gone to the top of the charts worldwide.

Emilie smiled as the words poured from her soul. She tuned out the sound of the crowd. This ballad was one of the purest things she’d ever written because she felt the words in her very being. When the song came to a close, she took a beat to breathe. Singing Losing My Head Over You left her a little drained because of how much energy she put into it—not physically, but emotionally. The chanting crowd overwhelmed her as she brought herself back to the present. With another giant smile, she launched into the next song.

By the end of the show, sweat was dripping down her cheeks. The tendrils of hair she’d left down stuck to her face and neck. Thankfully, her signature messy bun was still in place.

The band had given it their all, and the crowd had been fantastic. With two encores done, Emilie headed back to her dressing room to decompress. Just like her pre-show ritual, she had an end-of-show one, too. Makeup and hair got sorted first. There was nothing like feeling her hair being literally let down. Next, she showered and changed into comfy jeans and a T-shirt, then she meditated for twenty minutes.

A show like that left everyone buzzing, and it was difficult to come down. Meditation had proved helpful over the years and allowed her to go celebrating with the crew without being ridiculous. Sure, they would dance and drink, but for Emilie, the soothing effect of meditation left her tired a lot quicker than everyone else. She felt no shame bowing out early to get some sleep.

“Ready to go?” Liz stood in the doorway to her dressing room. She looked good and Emilie wondered if she’d made a special effort just for her.

“Sure, but it won’t be a late one for me. I’m done. It’s been a long few months.” Liz looked at her curiously. “What?”

“Nothing, just wondering if you’d like some company, you know, for your early night?” Emilie studied Liz. Was she stupid to even consider sleeping with her again? Probably, but hell, a woman has needs.

“Sure, let’s get out of here.”

The sun was just beginning to peep over the horizon. Emilie sat with her legs curled into her chest. It wasn’t the first time she’d stayed at Shangri-La The Shard and it wouldn’t be the last. It was one of her favourite hotels. The views were spectacular.

Her entourage always stayed with her, so the hotel usually gave them an entire floor. There was only one requisite, and it was that Emilie got the Deluxe Suite. The plush seat by one of the many windows was her favourite spot. She loved sitting with a steaming cup of coffee, peering down over London.

That’s where she found herself this morning, although she couldn’t quite focus on the view because the other person in her room was distracting. Not in a good way distracting, more of a “Why the hell did you do that again?” kind of distracting.

As usual, all the crew had headed to a club to let off some steam. Emilie and Liz had joined them, but only for two drinks. They’d said their farewells and headed straight to Emilie’s suite, where they’d fucked for a few hours.

An unease settled over Emilie as she studied Liz’s naked form sprawled across her bed. Sure, the sex had been fun, but that was all it was. Just like every other sexual encounter Emilie experienced over the past decade: fun, light, and temporary. Always temporary.

Damn it. This thing with Liz was going to become complicated. She could feel it. Even if Liz said she was okay with it just being a bit of fun, Emilie knew better. She caught movement from the corner of her eye. Liz was stirring.

“Morning,” Liz mumbled.

“Hey.”

“You okay?” Liz shifted herself into a sitting position.

“Yeah, good. Really looking forward to some downtime.” The air was rife with tension. Emilie wanted Liz to leave but didn’t know how to say it without sounding rude, and Liz clearly wanted to have some sort of discussion—probably about their casual hookups turning into something more. Emilie could see it on Liz’s face as they looked at each other.

“Emil—”

“Last night was fun, Liz. Probably best if we leave it at that. We need to work together and neither of us can afford complicated.”

Was that too harsh?

Liz studied her face for an extra beat before nodding, “Yeah, of course. It was fun. I’m going to grab my stuff and get back to my room. Everyone is meeting for brunch. I’ll see you there.” Liz wasted no time slipping out of bed, collecting her clothes that were scattered across the suite, and leaving the room.

Emilie’s time alone was short-lived as usual. Jack sauntered in without knocking, gabbing about her itinerary for the day. Emilie suppressed her eye roll. The one major downside to her lifestyle was the lack of privacy. She loved Jack, but sometimes she just wanted some time alone.

“Okay, brunch at ten-thirty. Radio 2 interview at one.”

“Okay.”

“Oh, and here’s the guest list you requested for that godforsaken school thing you decided to do. Without my approval, I might add.”

“Watch yourself, Jack.” Jack was an excellent manager, but he sometimes forgot who signed his paychecks. “I don’t need your approval. This is something personal that I’m looking forward to. You didn’t need to be consulted.”

“You have a full calendar, Em. Dropping in unscheduled events is difficult to manage.”

“And yet you rearrange my schedule with little fuss when you see dollar signs. The event is in my downtime, which I’m going to take full advantage of. On that note, I do not want any events scheduled within that time unless I request it.”

Nearly every year, Emilie had worked over her break. Jack was a fabulous manager, but sometimes too eager and a little too greedy. He had to understand she wasn’t a money-making machine. Her breaks were essential.

“Not even the—”

“No, nothing. Not this time, Jack. Do I make myself clear?”

His face blushed red. He wasn’t embarrassed; he was pissed at being scolded. “Fine.” It came out almost as a growl. Emilie raised her eyebrows. Now he blushed with embarrassment. “I’ll meet you downstairs,” he added, scuttling out of the room.

Emilie puffed out her cheeks and sighed. Her irritation ebbed when her eye caught the guest list for the Pickerton annual event. This would be the first year she would attend. Her celebrity status meant she couldn’t turn up to things off the cuff. She was mobbed wherever she went and she had planned to turn the invitation down. That was until Mr. Eccleton had mentioned how everyone from her year was attending. Everyone!

Scanning the list, Emilie frowned. Her name was at the top—quelle surprise —but it was the lack of one name that gave her pause. The only name she wanted to see. Charlotte Munroe. There was a Charlotte Smith—no idea who that was. A Charlotte Bott—a year below Emilie, if memory served—and then there was Charlie Baxter, not a name she recognized. Shit, had old Eccleton lied to her? Maybe Charlotte Munroe just hadn’t sent her confirmation in yet.

There was only one way to find out, and that was to go. The publicity for the school would be worth it, anyway. Emilie had loved every second of her time at Pickerton until the last week. She closed her eyes and tried with everything she had to shove that memory away. For years, guilt ate away at her, and no matter what good she did to override it, that awful gnawing feeling never abated.

The BBC Radio 2 station was only a thirty-minute drive, thank God. All Emilie wanted to do was crash, but this was her last engagement before her time was truly her own.

This would be her fifth time in three years as a guest for the BBC. It was a testament to her popularity that they clamoured to get her on anytime she was in the UK.

As usual, Jack had everything scheduled down to the millisecond. The moment her car arrived, she was whisked off directly to the studio and fitted with headphones. No waiting around, which was great. She could kiss her manager for his efficiency.

“Emilie, great to see you again, it’s been a while,” Emma Jones, host of the morning show, said. Having people suck up to her was the norm now, but she genuinely liked Emma and knew she was being sincere in her greeting.

“Emma, you look wonderful. How’s little Teddy? He must be, what? Six, now?”

“Oh, it’s sweet of you to ask. He’s doing just great. He has just turned six, so he’s a handful, but an adorable one.”

Emilie had met little Teddy the last time she was at the studio. Emma’s sitter had let her down and was mortified that she’d had no choice but to bring her son to work. She was nearly catatonic when Teddy spilled juice over Emilie’s cashmere top. Emilie had found the whole thing funny. She loved kids, and Teddy really was a little sweetheart. The incident got her and Emma talking. They followed each other on social media, but today was the first time they’d seen each other in person since.

“Please give him a squeeze from me. That little tux you bought him was excellent. He looked so cute.” Emilie had done a little squeal when she’d seen the picture on Emma’s Instagram of Teddy, dressed to the nines.

“Ha, it lasted about an hour before he was pulling it off. He’s a pajamas kind of boy.” Emma’s face lit up as she spoke about her son. A light flashed in the corner of the room.

“Okay, Emilie, we’re up in thirty seconds.” Emilie gave a thumbs up and waited to be introduced. She took a long drink from the coffee that had magically appeared in front of her. Jack strikes again. There was no need to get a PA, not when Jack filled the role. Well, he was paid an exorbitant amount of money, so she wasn’t going to feel bad he took on additional jobs.

“Let’s welcome to the show, everyone’s favourite French Canadian, and singing superstar, Emilie Martin,” Emma crowed delightfully.

“Thanks, Emma. It’s great to be back.”

“So, how have you been? It’s been a few months since we last spoke and, in that time, it looks like you’ve been busy,” Emma laughed. She knew how hard Emilie worked.

“Definitely. It’s been nonstop with the world tour, but that finished last night, so I get some time off now. And, may I say, what a great way to start my holiday by visiting you lovely people here at the BBC.”

“We love having you. By all accounts, the tour has been one of your most successful. How does it make you feel after all these years to be still pulling in such high numbers?”

“Emma, honestly, it’s the dream. My fans are the reason I do what I do. There is nothing as thrilling as standing on stage in front of all those awesome people.”

“What’s been the highlight of this tour?”

“The same as every tour I’ve done: Meeting the people. Being on the road so much can be tough, but when I see the fans singing along to my songs, it makes all the hard stuff worth it.”

“There is a rumour that you’re already writing another album. Can you tell us anything about it?”

Goddamn Jack. He’d been pushing her to begin another album halfway through the tour and she’d been emphatic it wasn’t going to happen. Not until she’d taken a break. Once again, he’d undone his hard work by overstepping.

“Sorry to disappoint, but I’m not currently working on one just yet. I’ll probably start looking at it next year. The past few years have been so full-on, I’m ready to take a step back. My music is my passion, and I want it to always come from the heart. Rushing an album or forcing it isn’t how I give the fans my best. I promise you’ll be the first to know when I’m writing,” she chuckled.

That’s it. Keep it light, even though you want to strangle Jack.

“We all need a holiday,” Emma laughed in return. “So, what’s on your relaxation agenda? Spa? Skiing? Hiking? What is it that Emilie Martin does to unwind?”

“Sleep will be the first thing I do,” Emilie laughed, even though it was absolutely true. “After that, I plan to hang around the UK for a couple of weeks and then I’ll fly home. See family, hike, and play with my dog.”

“And when you say home, you mean Canada?”

“Yeah, Quebec. It seems like so long ago since I was home. I’ve had a blast on tour, but I’m ready to get back to my house.”

“Sounds wonderful, Emilie. And thank you for coming to spend some time with us today. Let’s remind everyone why you are a musical genius. You’re listening to BBC Radio 2 with Emilie Martin and her latest release, Back in Your Arms .”

Emilie waited until she was given the signal she was clear to leave. After a brief hug, she left Emma to get on with the show. Emilie had one goal, and that was to chew out Jack. By the look on his face as she approached, he had already guessed what was coming.

“Look before you get mad I—”

“In the car,” Emilie barked. They were not having this discussion in the middle of a radio station. Jack stumbled along behind her as they climbed into Emilie’s blacked-out SUV.

“Have I given you some sign that you run the show here, Jack? We work because you used to understand what I needed from you. Somewhere along the way, you seemed to have forgotten.”

“Look, Em, I’m sorry, but it’s just good business to get the next album written. You’re hot right now and people want more.”

“It doesn’t matter what you think. I have told you repeatedly that I need a break. I’ve told you I wouldn’t be starting the next album until next year. How could you put me in that position on live radio? What? Did you think I would fold and tell the nation I was writing something? What the hell were you thinking?”

“I’m just looking out for you, Em. You’ve been around a long time and it’s not guaranteed you’ll always have this level of success. You should milk it while you can.”

“Milk it? Are you for real? I do this because I love it. If the fans fall away, that will suck, but it won’t be the end of the world. I’m not burning myself out because you want to get richer than you are. Jesus, Jack, I don’t know what to say to you right now.” Where was this attitude coming from? Jack never focused on the money. He’d always understood that Emilie did her job for the love of music. “I think this break will be just as good for you as it will be for me. Get your priorities back in order or don’t bother coming back. You, more than anyone, understand my position on money grabbers. I never thought in a million years you would be in that category. Shit, Jack, I don’t speak to my own parents because of how they behaved.”

“Hey now, no need to be dramatic. You know I am not like them. Sometimes I get carried away and push you. I’ll back off. I’m still your guy.”

For the first time in their friendship, Emilie doubted him. Something more was going on, but he wasn’t going to give it up.

“Jack, take some time anyway. I don’t need you right now. Fly home and see the kids. I’ll connect when I get back.”

Clearly, everyone needed some time and space from each other. Things felt tense with Jack. He didn’t look happy about leaving Emilie to her own devices, which was bizarre. Hell, she couldn’t think about that now. The Pickerton Ball was coming up and that needed all her attention.

Three

C harlie entered the code into the automatic keypad lock. Anna and Sam’s apartment in the 16th arrondissement was equipped with all the latest security. The lock gave a little beep as she pressed enter.

Pushing the door open, she covered her eyes with her hand. “I have entered the apartment, so you have thirty seconds to get dressed and put your toys away.”

It was a running joke in their friendship group that Sam and Anna went at it like rabbits. There was never a safe time to enter a room when they were in it. A shuffling sound drew her attention. Anna walked into the hallway in comfy looking pyjamas and boot slippers.

“We were not having sex,” Anna laughed, drawing Charlie into a hug.

“I’ll put money on you pair doing it before I arrived. Sam’s got sex hair.” Charlie pointed at her best friend, who’d followed her wife into the hallway. She did, in fact, have sex hair. And the blush that crept over her pale skin was a dead giveaway, too.

“That was like an hour ago,” Sam mumbled.

Charlie burst out laughing. “Hey, I’m not criticising. I just don’t think my innocent eyes can handle catching you two in the act again. My therapist had a field day after the last time. He even threw around the term ‘PTSD’ just sayin’.”

“He did not, you drama queen. Plus, it was a lesson in knocking before entering. That was all on you.” Sam was still bright red. It was highly amusing to Charlie how easy it was to get under her skin.

“Who the hell is shagging at half two on a Tuesday afternoon, and in the office, I might add?”

“She has a point, mon amour ,” Anna stated. Sam rolled her eyes, then swept Charlie up into a bone-crushing hug.

“Hey, I missed you, lady,” Sam whispered in her ear.

“Missed you, too.”

Although Charlie flew out to visit them in Paris often, it was still difficult to be away from Sam for so long. Samantha Chambers was more than a friend to Charlie. They were like sisters. Sam and her mum, Sandy, had made Charlie a part of their family ever since they’d met at university.

When Sam packed up and moved to Paris, Charlie felt bittersweet. The year before Sam met Anna, she’d had a rough time of it, so when they got together and Sam finally found the happiness she deserved, Charlie was so thankful, but after Sam moved away, it highlighted how much Charlie relied on her friend.

There were times when Charlie felt extremely lonely. It was especially difficult when she felt that way in her own home. No matter how much she changed the interior of Bowman Manor, she could never quite escape the old feelings of being a small kid, trapped in that gargantuan place, all alone. Maybe she was a masochist. That would explain why she’d moved back into her childhood home that had always made her feel shitty.

“Hungry?” Anna asked, making her way to the kitchen. There was the most delicious smell wafting through the room. Charlie’s tummy growled loudly, causing everyone to laugh. “I made your favourite.”

“You’re too good to me. I’d marry you if you weren’t already taken.” The smell of melting cheese made her mouth water. Tartiflette was a calorific nightmare, but the tastiest thing Charlie had ever put in her mouth. Layers of potatoes, bacon and cheese mixed with a little cream. Who the hell wouldn’t love that?

Sam and Charlie made their way to the table by the window in the living room. Plates, cutlery, and glasses were already set, leaving them nothing to do but wait for Anna.

“So, you gonna explain that call?” Sam quirked her eyebrow.

“Which call?” As if she didn’t know which call Sam was talking about.

“The one where you asked to borrow my wife.”

“Oh, that one, right, yeah, later. Let me eat first.” Honestly, Charlie really wasn’t looking forward to explaining her past to Sam. There was no one in her life now who knew about Pickerton and everything that went down. It was doubtful her parents would remember the name of the school they’d shipped her off to, let alone the resulting drama that occurred in her final year.

Thankfully, Sam was cut off from whatever she was going to say by Anna entering with a bubbling pot of orgasm-inducing food. Alright, maybe that was a tad dramatic on Charlie’s end, but it really was tasty.

They sat in comfortable silence. Charlie watched Sam and Anna interact. Anna spooned out their food whilst Sam poured herself and Charlie some wine. Oddly, she poured Anna sparkling water. The fork that had been making its way to Charlie’s mouth stilled mid-way. Why was Anna not drinking? She never missed out on excellent wine. Hell, she never missed out on wine, full stop.

No way, no fucking way…

“Is there something you two would like to share?” Charlie’s eyes bored into her friends. Sam shifted and went red. She was so bad at hiding things. “Samantha?” Charlie knew using her full name would do the trick. Sam looked rapidly from Charlie to Anna. Anna squeezed Sam’s hand and smiled, her entire body lighting up.

“There is one thing we wanted to tell you. It’s the real reason we wanted you to visit.” Sam’s voice held a slight quiver.

“Say it!” Charlie almost shouted. Her heart rate was through the roof.

“Anna’s pregnant.” That did it. Charlie couldn’t hold it in any longer. She jumped from her seat and launched herself at the two of them. Anna laughed wildly as Charlie peppered her face with kisses.

“Oh, my fucking God, I’m so happy for you both. Shit, I can’t believe we’re having a baby!”

“We?” Sam laughed.

“If you think I’m not going to be a part of this every step of the way you’re in for a rude awakening, mate. I’m gonna spoil the shit out of you all. How far along are you? Do you know if it’s a boy or girl or are you gonna let the kid determine its own identity? Will you stay in the apartment? Christ, have you told Sandy?” Charlie was running out of air.

“Jesus, Char, take a breath,” Sam cackled.

“I’m four months, no idea about the sex, and we don’t want to know. We will stay in the apartment. Our parents found out an hour ago, and, of course, you will be involved. I expect you to make sure Sam doesn’t have a panic attack during the birth, because we both know she’s going to be a mess.”

“Hey,” Sam protested, and then laughed. She knew damn well Anna was right.

“I just… I mean, wow.” Charlie sat back in her seat, the food forgotten about. “I’m going to be an aunt.”

“You’re going to be the best aunt,” Anna beamed.

The rest of the evening was lost to excited conversation about the baby. Charlie couldn’t even muster any upset they hadn’t told her they had been trying for the past year. Actually, Sam keeping this from her could work in her favour! Now Sam couldn’t get pissy about Charlie leaving out certain things from her past. That would be hypocritical, right?

Ha, keep dreaming, Char, she’s going to throw a right fit.

Charlie smooshed her face further into her pillow. She needed to ask Anna where she got this bedding from because it was stupidly comfortable. Her heart felt so light as she laid sprawled out, starfish style, thinking back to the night before. Wow, a baby! Charlie couldn’t wait to be a mum. She had so much love to give a child. She just needed to find the right woman.

Her thoughts strayed to Pickerton. Nope, she had to shut that down right now. Pickerton and the girl that got away were a lifetime ago. They were firmly in the past and that was where they should stay. Attending the ball was going to stir it up again, though. Well, only if Emilie attended, which, let’s be honest, was doubtful.

“Coffee?”

Charlie lifted her head at the sleepy voice. Sam shuffled into the room and climbed into bed next to her.

“Caffeinate me, woman.”

After propping herself up against the headboard, Charlie grabbed the coffee and inhaled deeply. Her body didn’t function without at least two cups of the good stuff first thing in the morning. After a few silent minutes, Charlie studied Sam, who frankly looked harassed.

“Mate, are you okay?”

“Hmm?” Sam wasn’t even looking at Charlie. She was staring at the bedroom door.

“Now, I’ll never be one to complain about you supplying me with my drug of choice.” Charlie held up her coffee cup. “But why are you in here bringing me coffee? Where’s Anna?”

“Shh, she’s asleep.” Sam looked at her, alarmed.

“Okay, why do you look so… I don’t even know.”

“Can I tell you something, but you can’t tell Anna?” Sam’s head was pivoting from the door to Charlie.

“Obviously, you tool.”

“I’m hiding from her.” Sam was dead serious. Her eyes were the size of dinner plates. It was a very comical look.

“Right. Any reason in particular?” Charlie was worrying. Why was Sam hiding from her pregnant wife? Was she regretting the baby? No, surely not.

“She never stops, Char. I’m so tired, but she’s relentless.”

“What on earth are you talking about, Sa—”

“Sex!” Sam shouted, before panicking and lowering her voice, “Sex, Charlie. She wants it all the time. I don’t know what’s happened, but suddenly she’s become crazy about it. Every morning and then lunch. Usually in the afternoons too, and don’t even get me started on evenings. I’m so tired. She’s…she’s insatiable.”

Charlie had to take a second to suppress the laughter that was threatening to come out. “Mate—”

“Don’t ‘mate’ me! You don’t know! I’ve become a sex slave since she got pregnant.”

Okay, now Charlie couldn’t stop her laughter from bubbling up. Sam looked so serious, which made it so much funnier.

“Sam, suck it up. That woman is going to be pushing a human out of a very small hole! If the one thing you can give her is multiple orgasms to help her until then, that’s what you’re gonna do. Grab a Red Bull and get yourself together. Woman up and give your baby’s mother what she needs!”

“Charlie—”

“Nuh-uh, no excuses. She’s giving her body up to create life. Her hormones are going to be going nuts. Yeah, you might be tired for a few months, but buckle up, buttercup, ’coz that’s going to be your life for the next eighteen years. And let’s be honest here, buddy, is it really a hardship that you get to screw like bunnies? Think of all those poor bastards that have their pregnant partners rebuff them completely! Imagine Anna not wanting you anywhere near her.”

“Sam?” Anna’s voice carried through the apartment. “Babe, can you come here for a minute?”

Charlie punched Sam on the shoulder with a wide grin. “Show time. Give that woman what she needs. I’m gonna slip on my headphones and enjoy a bit of music for a while.”

Sam slipped out of the bed, rolling her shoulders in preparation. After a couple of jumps and a shake of her head, she headed to the door. “Turn the music up. She’s not quiet, and honestly, she doesn’t give a shit who hears anymore.”

“Roger that. No pun intended.” Charlie laughed harder at Sam’s expression, who looked genuinely worried for her own health. With music blaring, Charlie pulled back the blinds so she could look outside as she sipped her coffee. She couldn’t help but giggle to herself. Poor Sammy.

An hour went by before Charlie dared remove her headphones. Her ears were ringing, and a headache was surfacing behind her eyes. That was probably due to scrolling through baby wear for too long. How the hell did anyone get anything done in life when there was so much cuteness available online? She’d spent a small fortune, which she was sure Anna and Sam would baulk at, but it was too late. They were going to get a shipment of all the coolest baby stuff available.

There was no noise, so Sam must have got the job done. Leaving her room, Charlie headed for the kitchen. The radio was playing softly. Anna danced to the music as she cooked pancakes.

“Mornin’, Mama. You sleep well?” Charlie gave Anna a quick hug before refilling her coffee cup.

“Like a log. I’m not feeling uncomfortable yet and Sam is wearing me out every night like a trooper.”

Charlie barked with laughter at Anna’s cheeky smile. “Speaking of the sex machine, where is Sam?”

“Sleeping. She deserves a break.”

“Bloody hell, Anna, don’t feel too sorry for her. She’s getting laid like four times a day!”

Anna laughed, clearly not phased Sam had spoken to Charlie about their very full sex life. “Oh, I don’t feel sorry for her. I just need her rested because in about—” Anna checked her watch, “—two hours I’m going to be ready to go again. Sorry, Char, not great for you, right?”

“Hey, you do what you gotta do. Pregnant ladies should get to do anything they like, in my book.”

“I’ll tell Sam you said that.”

“I already did,” Charlie grinned.

A beat passed as they looked at each other. Anna was great at waiting things out. She seemed to have infinite patience and understanding and she could read Charlie well. Sometimes too well.

“I have some stuff to explain to Sam, and I think she’s going to be upset I kept it from her.” Charlie worried her lip.

“Sam will understand you didn’t feel ready to share it. Yes, she might be a little hot-headed sometimes, but she loves you more than anyone. Just talk to her.”

A loud yawning sound caught their attention. Sam plonked herself down heavily at the breakfast bar. “Morning,” she mumbled. Anna leaned over to give her a kiss. They were the vision of domestic bliss, and Charlie loved it.

“Okay, I need to tell you why I need to borrow Anna.” Charlie just wanted to get it over with.

“Alright, shoot.” Sam cradled her coffee like it was her lifeblood.

“Okay, no interrupting. Questions only at the end.” Anna and Sam nodded. “As you know, my parents were pretty shit. They didn’t want to give me their time, so they shipped me off to school as soon as they could. I told you that already. What I neglected to mention was that from the age of fifteen, I attended Pickerton Academy of Performance Art. I was accepted because of my talent as a pianist. In fact, I was well on my way to becoming one of the most successful pianists in the UK.” Charlie cleared her throat. “I haven’t always gone by Charlie Baxter. My name back then was Charlotte Munroe. You may or may not have heard that name. Anyway, I met and fell in love with a girl, and to cut a very long and painful story short, she left me heartbroken beyond anything I could have ever imagined. I left Pickerton and the piano behind. I changed my degree to photography and dropped my stage name.”

“You’re Charlotte Munroe?” Anna blurted. Okay, she’d clearly heard the name, then. Charlie nodded.

“Hang on, let me get this all straight in my mind. Your name isn’t really Charlie Baxter, and you’re a famous pianist?” Sam was staring at her like she’d sprouted another head.

“My legal name is Charlie Baxter. Charlotte Munroe was my stage name I went by back then and I was—past tense—a pianist. My grandmother’s last name was Munroe. After what happened in my final year, I just wanted to forget. I wanted to be rid of all those arsehole, stuck-up bitches that made my life hell. I wanted to find friends who liked me for me and I did that in uni.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? We tell each other everything.” Sam was hurt. Charlie could see it in her eyes.

“I just wanted to leave it in the past, mate. It wasn’t anything against you. I had successfully left it behind until my old teacher called and roped me into doing a bloody charity ball. He laid it on thick this year and I felt bad. Plus, it’s been nearly twenty years, so I really need to get the fuck over it.”

“So that’s what you need me for? To go to the ball?” Anna clarified.

“Precisely that,” Charlie pointed at her.

“But why? Just take a date,” Sam argued.

“No, I need someone who knows me, who I feel comfortable with, and no offence, Sammy, but we don’t come across as two people that would date, hence why I need Anna.”

“Who do you need to convince?” Sam looked completely confused.

“Okay, so it’s possible that the girl, or I should say, woman, that carved out my heart and left me to rot all alone, will be there.”

“Wow, that was really visual.” Sam chuckled nervously.

“Well, it’s true. So now you know, will you be my date, Anna?”

Anna nodded as if there had never been a question that she would do it. “Of course, no problem. Although it’s possible I’ll be showing more by then. Is that a problem?”

“Not at all. I’m not going to lie to anyone. You’ll be my date and that’s all I’ll say.”

Sam scratched her head, still in a fog of sleep deprivation. “Who was the girl?”

“Okay, I’ll tell you, but don’t be daft about it.”

Sam rolled her eyes. “Alright, Ms Dramatic. Who is it?”

“Emilie Martin.” Charlie watched as Sam and Anna’s features went from curious to utterly stunned.

“Emilie Martin, as in the Emilie Martin?” Sam shouted.

“As in the lesbian goddess of singing, Emilie Martin?” Anna blurted, just as shocked as her wife.

“Err, yeah, that would be the one.”

In unison, they started shouting questions at her. Unsurprising, really. How was anyone supposed to react when they heard their best friend had once been involved with the biggest singing sensation the world had seen in decades? Charlie sat back and let them ramble. Eventually, they came to a natural silence.

“Finished?” They nodded. “Okay, look. When we met, she was only just starting out. She was just Em to me and everyone at school. But the problem is that she may well be at this ball and I need support if I’m going to see her again.”

“Wow, she really did a number on you, hey?” Sam commented, looking worried.

“Yeah, she did, but I don’t really want to go over it if that’s okay?”

“That’s fine, sweetie,” Anna smiled. A tension settled on Charlie’s shoulders. She hated that something which happened two decades ago still affected her so much.

The call of the doorbell shattered the silence that had ascended upon the trio.

“You expecting someone, babe?” Sam asked Anna.

“No.” The bell cried again and again. Whoever was at the door was keen to be let in. Sam huffed as she left the kitchen to answer the door. Charlie looked at Anna before there came a gaggle of screams. Charlie and Anna shot out of the kitchen and ran to the door. In a mess of bodies and arms were Kim and Hélène, who were beaming with happiness.

“What are you doing here?” Anna screamed excitedly.

“We got home last night. We couldn’t wait to see you. Get your gorgeous butt over here, mum-to-be.” Kim scooped Anna up into a tight hug. Tears were raining down both their faces. Kim and Hélène had been sailing around the world for the past year. Kim was a marine biologist who was working with a foundation to research the decline in marine life around the world. Hélène, her fiancée and close friend of Sam’s, was a professional scuba diver. They travelled together, diving and working on their sailboat, the Perfect Platinum .

“Charlie,” Kim cried once she’d let go of Anna. Charlie braced herself. Kim just made it to Charlie’s shoulder, but that didn’t stop her from squeezing Charlie to within an inch of her life.

“Hey there, little one.” Charlie gave as good as she got, squeezing Kim back. After a good fifteen minutes of hugs and kisses, the group finally relaxed in the living room with coffee and pastries. Kim and Hélène filled them all in on their adventures. They’d just been stationed in Martinique, and by the way Hélène described it, they’d been in paradise.

“So, is this just a regular visit for you, Charlie?” Hélène asked. Balls! She was going to have to explain the real reason she was here. Nothing stayed hidden within the group for long. Wasting no time, Charlie filled in Kim and Hélène. She wanted to laugh at their stunned faces.

“Well, I wasn’t expecting that,” Kim laughed.

“Neither were we.” Anna smiled.

“So will Emilie definitely be there?” Kim enquired. Her excitement was palpable. It wasn’t a secret that Kim was a huge fan of Emilie’s.

“I don’t know for definite, but it’s a strong possibility.”

“In that case, I think it’s only right that all your very best friends accompany you to the ball,” Kim beamed.

Charlie laughed, shaking her head. “I only need one date.”

“No, you need support, and let’s be honest, Anna is going to be wanting to go to bed by nine so—”

“Hey,” Anna interjected.

“Am I wrong?” Kim cocked her eyebrow.

“No,” Anna mumbled.

“There, it’s settled. Charlie, you can go to the ball with the reassurance that you will have a hoard of bad-ass bitches who have your back,” Kim winked.

Maybe going with all her best friends was the best thing. If she ran into Emilie, she wouldn’t be alone, and if she didn’t, well, she could just party with her peeps.

Four

S ilence, nothing but glorious silence. No cars with their loud engines and blaring horns. No people talking her ear off, wanting her attention and time. No, finally, after months of noise, Emilie had the peace and quiet she’d so desperately craved.

Once the radio interview had finished and she’d successfully put Jack in his place, Emilie drove the two hours to Pickerton. After leaving the academy, Emilie bought a rundown cottage that had been abandoned years ago by the old school caretaker. The property was one of the first buildings she’d acquired after making her first million. Nobody in the local village knew she was the owner. Emilie preferred it that way. The cottage was on the academy grounds, but tucked away at the far edge of the school field. It was surrounded by high conifers and a ten-foot wall Emilie had installed, providing the property with all the privacy a superstar needed when taking a break.

Jess was the only person close to her who knew she’d bought the place. Emilie was sure Jack would think she was nuts buying something so close to her old school, but that didn’t matter. For Emilie, Pickerton Academy was where her life had really begun. It was where she’d met her best friends, where she’d made music, and where she’d found her heart. No matter what had happened in the end, she would always be thankful for her time there.

Renovating the place had taken several years. Emilie had paid a small fortune to have the gardens secured and landscaped. The cottage itself had needed a new roof and all new plumbing and wiring. In the end, though, the results were worth the time and money.

The front exterior of the building retained all its original design. From the driveway, it looked like a typical English cottage, but inside was a different story. Emilie had chosen an open plan layout. The kitchen, which boasted sleek lines and top-of-the-line appliances, merged seamlessly with the dining room and lounge. Each of the areas felt as if they had their own space, even though there were no walls separating them.

The south-facing back wall had been ripped out, and in its place, folding floor-to-ceiling windows had been installed. In the summer, Emilie could open the entire back of the cottage, which lead to a large patio area. Maybe her favourite part of it, though, was the heated pool.

Now, English summers aren’t exactly known for their consistency or predictability, so to ensure she could swim whatever the weather, a pergola had been built with a motorized roof and sides. With just a press of a button, the garden pool became an indoor pool in a matter of minutes.

The last time she’d visited the cottage was nearly three years ago. There was nowhere else on the planet—except her home in Quebec—that gave her the solitude and peace she needed. Sadly, her schedule didn’t allow for impromptu visits, so when Mr. Eccleton called to arrange her attendance at the ball, Emilie seized the opportunity to stay in the cottage for a couple of weeks.

Stretching her body, Emilie strained her ears to listen to the birds chirping in the cherry tree by her bedroom window. The cottage originally had the one-and-only bedroom attached to the living room. For the old caretaker, a small box room would have sufficed, but it wasn’t overly practical for a modern woman who enjoyed space and comfort. Not wanting to diminish the size of the floor plan, Emilie had opted for a mezzanine-style bedroom. From her bed, she could observe the dining area and kitchen.

There had been many times she’d fantasized about living in the cottage, with a wife and dog, for six months out of the year. How they would enjoy hours of lovemaking beneath the skylight above the bed, her wife then making them breakfast in just a T-shirt, and Emilie would watch her from their bed. Music would play through the speakers that were wired all around the house.

That was the dream anyway. The reality was very different. Pickerton allowed her the privacy she wanted, but she was still there alone. Jess would stay over, but it wasn’t the same. As the years went on, Emilie wanted a partner to share her life with. Touring was long, and even though she was surrounded by people, none of them could give her the intimacy and love she needed.

Her reverie was interrupted by the sound of car tires on the gravel drive. The only person it could be was Jess. Hefting herself out of bed, she stretched again, steadying herself against the wall as she rode out the headrush she got from standing up too fast.

Jess came through the door just as Emilie flipped the switch on the kettle. Jess was a typical Englishwoman, meaning the first thing she wanted was a steaming cup of Builder’s tea. Emilie had been mocked mercilessly by her friends at Pickerton when she first tried to make tea for her classmates. Now she could brew a pot of tea like a pro.

“Good morrow, dear friend. Sleep well?” Jess was overly chirpy in Emilie’s opinion.

“I always do here.” Emilie busied herself with the stove. A hearty breakfast of scrambled eggs and bacon would get her in the right headspace to face the day. Usually, it took her several days to recuperate from travelling before she was completely herself again.

“Did Jack get off okay? I presume he’s gone back to Quebec?” Jess took on the job of opening the folding windows. The sun was shining brightly even though the temperatures wasn’t very high, and Emilie appreciated the fresh air wafting through the house. Jess knew her too well. They’d spent so much time together on tour and in the studio over the years, Jess could read Emilie’s moods and what she needed to get over them, like no other.

“Yes, after I had words. The stunt he pulled at the radio station was way over the line.”

“He’s been doing that kind of thing a lot lately,” Jess mused, tapping her finger to her chin.

“He has, hasn’t he? Maybe it’s the pressure of the tour. We all start acting strange in the end.”

Being cooped up with the same people for months on end wasn’t the easiest way to live. Still, Jack was being pushy lately, and if Emilie thought about it, his behavior changed before the world tour. She’d assess it when they got back from their break. Right now, all she wanted to do was relax, swim, and plan for the Pickerton Ball.

“Have you heard from Eccleton?” Jess asked, sitting back at the kitchen island.

“He hasn’t called. Why, have you?”

“Yeah, he’s emailed us a schedule. We get a few hours to rehearse before the big day,” she chuckled. It wasn’t as if they needed it. “We’ve been given the last rehearsal slot. The ball is on Saturday, and we rehearse Friday evening. I think he’s trying to keep us from being harassed. He’s certainly trying to keep your appearance a secret. I spoke to Lydia, and she reckons no one who RSVP’d has the foggiest we will be playing.”

Lydia was one of Emilie and Jess’s friends from Pickerton. She was one of the few people Emilie kept in touch with. Lydia had followed Emilie on tour for a while until her attempts to seduce Emilie failed. They had been an awkward few weeks.

“When did you talk to Lydia?”

“About half an hour ago. She’s planning on arriving early Friday morning, before the main event.”

Lydia Beecham was also a part of the original Pickerton band the group started in their first year. Reforming the band had given Emilie palpitations when Mr. Eccleton first suggested it. Over the years, Emilie had missed all the academy’s Christmas events because she was either on the road or had other prior engagements. Jack never liked the idea of her going and seemed to always schedule something that made it impossible.

This year, though, was the twentieth anniversary of the academy’s charity. Drama 4 All was dear to Emilie’s heart. She’d donated tens of thousands, for over a decade, because she believed in it so deeply. Emilie was privileged—she knew that. Her start in life had been full of opportunity, which had made it easier for her to pursue her passion. It wasn’t that easy for everyone, though. Drama 4 All helped get kids involved in the arts, and even though the name suggested it was just for acting, it covered all mediums of performance art.

Mr. Eccleton had sealed the deal when he’d told her about the young girl who’d lost her parents in a car crash and was having to move away, thus losing her place at the academy. If seeing Emilie and the band perform bought that poor girl some joy, then by God, she was going to do it.

Jess cleared her throat, catching Emilie’s attention. Her mind had drifted, and she’d stopped talking.

“You okay?” Jess leaned over the counter, squinting at her with concern.

“Fine, just tired. My mind zoned out. So, anyway, how was Lydia?”

Hopefully, they could put any awkwardness behind them and move on.

“She sounds good. Apparently, she’s seeing someone and it’s pretty serious. Though, she was cagey and didn’t give details, so for all I know, she’s lying to save face with you.”

Emilie rolled her eyes. They weren’t in school anymore. Surely Lydia wouldn’t play silly games like that, especially when nothing actually happened between them.

In the last term of their senior year, Lydia had gotten up the nerve to tell Emilie she had a crush on her. As flattering as that was, Emilie was very much involved with Charlotte Munroe. There hadn’t been any drama or teenage tantrums. Lydia had understood, and they’d remained friends. Years later, Lydia had reiterated she still felt something towards Emilie. This time, however, when Emilie let her down—gently, mind you—Lydia wasn’t so understanding.

The thing that stopped Emilie from ever exploring things with Lydia after Pickerton was a gut feeling Lydia was more enamoured with the lifestyle that Emilie could provide, rather than genuine feelings. Charlotte was the only one who Emilie bared her soul to all those years ago. Lydia never came close to knowing Emilie like Charlotte had, and that didn’t change later in their lives, either.

Lydia hung around for the afterparties and the celebrities. She never took the time to get to know Emilie, even in a friendly way. So, when she started declaring deep-rooted feelings for her, Emilie couldn’t believe they were genuine.

After Emilie had stood there watching Lydia scream and shout at her in front of her crew members after being let down, Emilie politely asked Lydia to go home. Her touring days were over. That had happened four years ago. Since then, Lydia had been in contact, apologized, and hoped they could remain friends. Fine by Emilie, as long as the friendship was long distance, which it had been.

“Well, I suppose we’ll see,” Jess mused. “Hell, it could be new and she doesn’t want to jinx it.” Jess didn’t even convince herself with that statement.

“Hmmm. So, what’s your plan for the next couple of weeks?”

Jess lived half an hour away, with most of her family dotted over the county.

“Visit the folks and my siblings, I suppose. The usual. I’ll have two weeks of passive-aggressive jibes from everyone, and then I’ll attend the ball before happily buggering off home to Canada. You?”

Emilie laughed. Jess wasn’t a family-oriented person. Neither were the rest of her clan, really. They could manage a few hours together before the claws came out. Unfortunately, Jess was always the first to get picked on. Jealousy was an ugly mistress.

“You don’t actually have to see them, Jess. Hell, pop over for an hour today, get both visits out the way, then come back here. We can have two glorious weeks of calm and cocktails by the pool. The weather is supposed to be alright, so if I stick the patio heaters on, we can spend our days lazing on the couch outside.” That sounded pretty perfect, actually. Emilie would do it even if Jess turned her down.

“You know what? Sod it. I’ll nip off now, get it done, and I’ll be back for dinner. I’ll pick up Chinese.”

“Yes. Do that!” Emilie laughed, pointing at her friend. Together, they lifted their cups and clinked.

When touring, days would blur together. Most of the time Emilie had to check what day it was, and sometimes what month. It was easy to become disoriented. One venue blended into the next, one town looked like the last, and it was frustrating, to say the least. Now, though, she was able to gather herself and concentrate on making each day memorable. Over the past two weeks, that was exactly what she’d done. Okay, so her days wouldn’t usually pass as being “memorable” in the way others might expect. Reading copious amounts of lesbian romance, swimming daily, and cooking and binge watching all the shows she’d missed was what Emilie saw as “memorable” in her downtime. She’d been able to fully embrace each day, rested and relaxed.

Jess had spent her entire break at the cottage. Emilie was positive her family would be flipping out. Emilie wasn’t sure where their jealousy came from, but she knew they loved to bring Jess down a peg or two when she visited. So, the fact she’d snubbed them and was spending her time with Emilie wouldn’t have gone down well. It didn’t matter, though. Jess worked just as hard as Emilie, and it was nice that she wasn’t going to be alone for once.

Friday rolled around faster than Emilie would have liked. Although she’d relaxed, her brain had kept a little anxiety-filled thought in her mind’s eye. Friday meant rehearsals for the ball, which meant she would see Charlotte. There was no guarantee she would be in attendance, but there was a chance. After all, she was an original band member and Eccleton had said the whole band was going to be there.

Emilie had to decide how to handle it. Nearly twenty years had passed. Surely Charlotte would be over it, right? An icy wave washed over her as she recalled the last day of term. She shook her head violently, hoping to dislodge the memory and the stone of regret that had made its way to her stomach. If she still felt like this at the mere memory of what she’d done, how could she expect Charlotte to have forgotten?

“Hey, you about ready to go?” Jess threw her wallet and phone on the couch as she donned her jacket. It really wasn’t necessary for them to rehearse. Jess and Emilie were always in sync, but it had been a while since they’d played with people outside of her crew, so maybe having a few hours to play together was a good idea. She knew Lydia still played the bass with a band part-time, but what about Charlotte?

Over the years Emilie had kept an eye out for Charlotte Munroe, pianist extraordinaire, but it was like she’d vanished off the face of the earth. Had she given it up? What a shame that would be. What shame Emilie would feel if Charlotte had given it up because of her.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” The drive to the main entrance of Pickerton was two minutes at the most, but it was quite a trek on foot. Even though her cottage was on the school grounds, the land was immense. From Emilie’s house, she could just see the school building in the distance. Trudging over the field was the last thing she wanted to do.

Emilie’s Mini Cooper crawled up the long driveway that led to a building akin to Downton Abbey. Okay, maybe not so ornate as that, but it was impressive, and it was old. Pickerton was in a very affluent area, and only the brightest—and richest—students could attend. The building belonged to the Pickerton family, whose presence in the county went back centuries.

If records were correct, they were related to the Royals. After Richard Pickerton died in 1926, he left the building and all his money to his niece, Evelyn Pickerton. She was his only living relative. She was also an unmarried spinster who defied her advisors and opened the house up as an academy. If that weren’t bad enough, she dared to offer places to underprivileged children who would never otherwise have had the opportunity to better their circumstances through their education. Emilie, for one, was so thankful Evelyn had opened up her home and offered people the chance to study their craft.

Though Emilie was already on the verge of stardom at fourteen, she had always wanted to attend school like a normal kid. Pickerton was the compromise she had come to with her uncle. Unsurprisingly, he’d pushed her to seek the limelight, but understood she was still so young and needed some semblance of normalcy. The academy offered her the chance to still be a normal teenager and work on her music, too. Pickerton was the best of both worlds. Her heart always gave a little start when she saw the building, and she couldn’t help but smile.

“Right, let’s get this over with,” Jess gruffed, flinging open the passenger door. It was clear she didn’t hold the school in such high regards as Emilie did. A few cars dotted the front carpark. Emilie wondered if any of them belonged to Charlotte. Her stomach churned. She wished she’d eaten breakfast now, but the thought of eating any food this morning was too much. It was a fact that, as soon as Emilie felt stressed, her stomach was the first thing to protest.

Emilie wasn’t past sticking the car in reverse and hightailing it back to the cottage. In fact, that’s what her body was willing her to do. Jess caught on to her spinning thoughts before she completely lost her marbles.

“Hey, come on, it’s going to be fine.” Jess tugged on her elbow and led her into the school.

Nothing—absolutely nothing—had changed since Emilie had last visited, which had been several years ago. The inside was a strange mélange of old high-class gentry and modern-day practicality. Bulletin boards were mounted on elegant walls that had gold leaf crown mouldings. There were dozens of portraits dating back hundreds of years, mixed in with posters of previous galas and charity balls. The only noise they could hear was the clattering of workers setting up the auditorium.

Students had left for their Christmas break last week, and the school had an eerie silence to it, which Emilie loved. Over the course of her two years there, Emilie had spent most of the holidays at Pickerton. Not every student boarded at the school, but several international students and wealthy kids did. Emilie had been one of those students.

It wasn’t that she had nowhere else to go; it was just that she didn’t want to spend time with her money-grabbing parents, and her uncle couldn’t look after her full time. So it was within these halls that Emilie enjoyed her Christmas and Easter breaks. It was in these halls that she met and fell in love with Charlotte Munroe.

Footsteps clacking down the hall brought her back to the present. Mr. Eccleton was hurrying towards them with a smile as wide as London Bridge. Emilie smiled at him warmly. In twenty years, the only thing that looked different about him was his hair that still seemed to have a mind of its own but was now a shocking white. His nickname back then was Dr. Emmett because he resembled the character from Back to The Future so much.

“Oh, Ms Martin, what a pleasure to see you again.” He reached out and shook Emilie’s hand enthusiastically.

“Mr. Eccleton, how are you? It’s been so long.”

“I’m wonderful, thank you. Still alive and kicking. Oh, and Ms Hill, what a wonderful thing it is to see you again too.”

“Mr E,” Jess smiled. She wasn’t one for small talk, causing Emilie to roll her eyes.

“Is everything ready for tomorrow?” Emilie inquired. Obviously, she would have to be the one to make conversation.

“Yes, yes. We’ve had some students in this week rehearsing. You will be the showstopper, though. I’ve put you on last.”

“Are Lydia and Charlotte already here?” Jess cut straight to the point.

“Ms Beecham is waiting for you in the hall and, unfortunately, it’s just you three this evening. I have an alternative pianist for today.”

Disappointment weighed on Emilie’s shoulders. She’d really hoped Charlotte would be here and they could clear the air. That way, it wouldn’t be awkward in front of everyone. No such luck. Straightening her spine, she shook off her melancholic feelings and plastered a smile back on her face.

“Well, three out of four band members isn’t bad. We can rehearse, and I’m sure Charlotte will be flawless tomorrow. Should we get started?”

Mr. Eccleton clapped excitedly. Jess, on the other hand, gave Emilie side-eye, letting her know she understood Emilie wasn’t completely okay. No point wasting time, though. They had a rehearsal to do.

Five

“G oddamn it!” Charlie yelled. Her fingers just weren’t cooperating. She’d been practicing this bloody piece for three days and she still couldn’t get it down.

Well, that’s what happens when you don’t practice for twenty years .

God, her internal voice was an arsehole.

Mr Eccleton had passed along the list of music the band would be playing. None of the pieces were particularly difficult, but Charlie hadn’t touched a piano in a long time. She certainly hadn’t trained the way she used to. Her hands felt stiff, they struggled to reach, and it was pissing her off.

“Is it possible, love, that you’re not playing well because you’re so bloody stressed out?” Carol was leaning against the arm of the sofa, watching Charlie with sympathy. When Charlie returned from her weekend away in Paris, she’d sat Carol down and explained what was going on. Her actual parents couldn’t give two monkeys, so she’d turned to the only person who even slightly resembled a parental figure—except for Sandy, who was out of town.

“This is stupid. I’m calling Eccleton and telling him I can’t go. I’m a busy woman and yet here I am, spending my time fucking about on a piano. I have a million other things I could be doing and none of them make me feel like shit.”

This week, Charlie’s mood had grown dark. As time counted down to the ball, the memories of that last day in school flooded her mind. She hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in a week. Her dreams were a cinematic reel of all the shitty things that had happened.

“Calm down, Stretch. Can I suggest you go take a nap and then come back to it fresh? Nothing good is going to come out of a sleep-deprived Charlie Baxter.” Her eyebrow rose, daring Charlie to argue back. Which she didn’t. With great reluctance and irritation, she took herself to bed and collapsed. Her brain had had enough, and within minutes, she was passed out.

Thank God she hadn’t dreamt. Charlie’s subconscious had finally given her a break. The sky outside was considerably darker when she sat up in bed from her power nap. Her mood felt lighter, and she was buzzed to get practicing again. Her fists gripped the bedsheets. It had been years since she’d felt the urge, let alone the excitement, to play.

Deep down, she must have wanted to reconnect with it, though, because her grand piano had been in storage since school. She could never bring herself to sell it. Now her prized piano sat in her living room by an arched window. It was the perfect spot to sit and play whilst gazing out onto the grounds.

Sam’s voice echoing through the apartment snapped her back to reality. The ball was two days away, so her friends had travelled over to stay with her this evening before they all drove to Pickerton in the morning.

“Hey, beautiful lady,” Charlie called. Sam opened her arms to receive a hug. Charlie fucked with her a bit by walking straight past her, hugging Anna instead, who burst out laughing at Sam’s dejected face.

“Hey, Char,” Anna chuckled.

“Oh, hey, Sam.” Charlie spoke as if she’d only just noticed her best friend.

“You’re an arsehole,” Sam grumbled before smirking.

“Come here, grumpy knickers.” They held each other tightly. More noise filtered through the room. Hélène and Kim bustled in with their bags. Kim let out a low whistle. It was the first time she’d visited since the renovation.

“Wowzer, this is nice, Charlie.”

“It’s gorgeous,” Hélène added, her eyes scanning the space feverishly.

“Thanks, guys. Your bedrooms are just down the hall. Sorry you two—” she pointed at Hélène and Kim, “—your room is next door to this pair. I hope you have earplugs.” Everyone laughed. Sam went red.

“Hell, we might give them a run for their money. Do you know how hard it is to have proper sex on a boat? I mean, the Perfect Platinum is spacious, but when you want to branch out with some sexy moves, she’s not all that convenient.” Kim was so serious when she said it, Charlie burst out laughing, because now Hélène was bright red, too. Out of the group, Sam and Hélène were the ones that embarrassed easily.

“Kim, for the love of… Would you not tell everyone about our sex life?”

“Who else have I told? Anyway, it’s not like it’s a shock. You’re the loud one. Tell her, Anna.”

“No, no, no, no. Don’t bring me into this, I already get enough stick from Charlie about our sex life.”

“That’s because you all have sex lives. I’m going to die a shrivelled old lady. I can’t remember the last time someone made me scream out loud,” Charlie said wistfully. It was frightfully depressing and accurate how long it had been for Charlie. The pubs and clubs didn’t do it for her any longer. Maybe it was seeing her friends settle down? Whatever the reason, that was what her heart wanted now. She wanted to fill Bowman Manor with love and laughter.

“What are you talking about? You’re out every weekend.” Sam scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. Okay, so Charlie may have led Sam to think she was still living a full bachelorette lifestyle, which included frivolous hookups, but that wasn’t the case at all. Now, she hadn’t outright lied. She’d just stopped correcting Sam’s assumption she was clubbing every Saturday.

“Doesn’t mean I get laid every weekend, though.” Charlie could see Sam was puzzling something out. She needed to pull attention away from herself. “Come on, let’s get you all settled.”

Their evening had been a blast. Catching up, laughing, drinking, and eating were four of Charlie’s favourite things to do. It hadn’t taken Kim very long to usher her over to the piano, though. Her friends were eager to get a glimpse of Charlotte Munroe.

“Just remember I’m not the pianist I used to be, okay? I feel you’re all going to be disappointed.”

“Not a chance,” Sam said, shaking her head. “Play something you love. Come on.”

Charlie sat for a second. There were two pieces of music she loved dearly, and she had written them both. The first one that came to mind, she quickly dismissed. That one caused her too much pain, so she settled with the second. It was a piece she’d written in her first year at Pickerton.

Closing her eyes, she let her fingers brush the keys. She shuffled to get into position and then let the emotion of the music overtake her. Her hands moved automatically. They knew what to do without her having to think. The room around her fell away. There was nothing but the music.

Every emotion she’d felt when she’d written the piece flooded back. Charlie felt tears prick at the corner of her eyes. She played with everything she had until the last note. Her hands stilled. Eyes remaining shut, she took a few steadying breaths. Her heart hammered in her chest, and she felt herself smile. Never again did she think she would get to feel the pure joy that playing the piano gave her all those years ago. Slowly, she opened her eyes and looked at her friends. Their faces were a wash of surprise, happiness, and elation. Except for Sam. Sam’s face was sadness and pain.

“Oh, Charlie,” Anna breathed, her face streaked with tears.

“I can’t find the words, Char, that was…” Kim began.

“Beautiful,” Hélène supplied.

“Breathtaking,” Anna sobbed. Charlie didn’t know how to respond. Her eyes were still squarely on Sam. Her best friend tilted her head to Anna and whispered something in her ear. Anna gave a nod and ushered Kim and Hélène out of the room. Sam waited until they were alone and then sat on the bench next to her. They sat silently for a few moments. Charlie had no idea what was coming.

“How could you not tell me about this side of you, Char?” Sam’s voice was almost a whisper. “I… I just don’t understand. I’ve never seen you come so alive as I did just then. Never, and we’ve known each other for so long.”

“It was too painful, Sam. Everything about the piano reminded me of a time that I just wanted to erase from my memory.”

“What happened that made you walk away from something you clearly loved?”

Charlie rubbed her hands nervously up and down her thighs. She hadn’t spoken to anyone about her last few days at Pickerton, but Sam deserved to know. There was no other person on the planet that loved her the way Sam did.

“I was a shy kid at school. I kept to myself most of the time. If I wasn’t practising, I was in the library or in my room. That was where Emilie found me one day. She was looking for a book and I helped her. After that, she started spending more time in the library. Eventually, we became friends, which was astounding, because I’m sure you can imagine how many people wanted to be her friend, and she chose me.

“We talked like normal teens. I think she liked I wasn’t star-struck. I enjoyed talking about books. We chatted about music, but not hers. She wanted to know what I wrote. As the months went on, we started writing together. She would hang around with me more and more.” Charlie took a breath. “One night, we were sitting by the lake at the back of the school. Most other kids had gone home for the Christmas holiday, but Emilie stayed. We’d been getting close, and I already knew I was completely smitten with her. I never thought she would feel the same way. Fuck, Sam, I was this shy, gangly nerd, and she was Emilie Martin. Anyway, we sat by the lake watching the water and the next thing I know, she kissed me.”

“Wow, I bet that took you a minute to process,” Sam laughed.

“Actually, no. It felt so right. Let’s just say that night was a night of many firsts.”

“You mean, she took your—”

“Yup. First kiss, first everything, and it was wonderful. Alright, a little messy.” Charlie laughed at the memory of their fumbling hands and sloppy kisses. “But you know what they say, practice makes perfect, and boy, did we practice!” Sam let out a bark of laughter. “Then it went wrong.” Sam’s face sobered instantly. “We’d been together for nearly two years by the time we came to graduating. They had been the best two years of my life. For once I felt wanted .”

“So what happened?”

“Some really personal bits of information got leaked to the press. Things Emilie said she’d only told me. I couldn’t believe she would think that I would sell her out, not after everything we’d shared. The problem was, she had her so-called ‘friends’ whispering in her ear, convincing her I could be the only one that had sold her information.

“Before I knew it, other kids were whispering behind my back and defacing my locker with spray paint. I begged Emilie to believe me, but it was too late. She looked at me like I was dirt. Then on the last day of term, it all blew up. I tried one last time to talk to her and she humiliated me in front of everyone.” Charlie felt Sam’s arm snake around her shoulders. “She took everything precious and destroyed it, including my love for piano. I had no one to turn to, so I did what I thought was best and walked away from that life, because it was tainted and always would be.”

“You never once thought about going back?”

“Nope, not once. I loved photography, and you gave me the stability I needed so badly. You and your mum.” Charlie gave Sam a small smile.

“And now, how do you feel about it?”

“When Mr Eccleton called, I was ready to tell him to sod off. The last thing I wanted was to reunite with Emilie or her gang of bitches, but then he talked about the little girl losing her parents and I couldn’t say no. I remember being that young and loving music. I remember how therapeutic it could be, and that girl needs some music therapy after what she’s gone through, even if it is just one night.”

“That’s really nice, Char. I’m proud of you.”

Charlie shrugged. “If it helps her, then it’s worth my discomfort. I’ve been trying to practice for days, but until this evening I’ve struggled.”

“Why?”

“Because I was disconnected. Music for me is more than simply sitting down and hitting some keys. I feel it. It flows through me when I play, and I’d lost that. So, when I was practicing, I couldn’t engage. But now, after playing for you guys, I can, because, for the first time in a long time, the music spoke to me again.”

“You play beautifully, mate. That little girl is going to light up when she hears you.”

“I hope so. Now I just have to get through meeting up with Emilie and the others.” That was more nerve-wracking than playing in front of an audience by a mile.

“Hey, we will be right there with you. I don’t give a fuck who Emilie Martin is. She won’t hurt you again, ever. As for her ‘gang of bitches’, they have nothing on your boss-bitch friends. We’re family, Charlie, always.”

“Will you listen to the music I have to learn?” Having Sam, Anna, Kim, and Hélène by her side was more than enough to boost her confidence. Charlie might have been the shy, gangly outcast twenty years ago, but she wasn’t anymore, and she was going to show every single Pickerton prick exactly who Charlie Baxter was.

A car horn blaring from the driveway jolted Charlie. She’d been nursing her second cup of coffee, willing herself to stand up and move. The time had come. There was no escaping it now. Pickerton was calling.

“Char, let’s hustle, everyone is waiting,” Sam shouted from the large oak door leading outside. Grumbling, she took her cup to the sink. Today, she was supposed to arrive in Pickerton and attend rehearsals at the school with the rest of the band. Her stomach rolled every time she thought of getting close to Emilie. There was no doubt in her mind now that Emilie would be there. Mr Eccleton made too much of a fuss for her not to be. She was leaning over the kitchen sink when she felt an arm curl around her waist. Expecting it to be Sam, she was surprised to see Hélène.

“You don’t have to do this, Charlie. Not if it’s going to affect your mental health. Nothing is worth that.” Her low voice was soothing to Charlie’s raw nerves.

“I have to do it. It’s been twenty years; I need to move on from it. I’ve just found music again.”

“Okay, then let’s go. You have us—all of us—by your side.”

The drive took just over two and a half hours. It would have been less if they hadn’t needed to stop for Anna every thirty minutes. Apparently, her bladder was not coping with pregnancy. Charlie had rented a three-bed cottage for their stay. It was only for two nights, so she didn’t mind splurging. The cottage was located just outside the main village square.

They pulled up to the gate. Hélène had rented a ridiculously large Land Rover for their weekend away. Apparently, she felt they deserved to arrive in style, as though they were an entourage of celebrities. They weren’t; not next to the likes of Emilie Martin, anyway.

In front of them stood a beautiful one-story cottage. It was a relatively new listing on Airbnb. Not surprising, really. Pickerton was a picturesque village in the middle of the countryside. Walkers from all over the world would visit to traverse the different routes available. Charlie had done it herself a few times in her youth. Staying at school in the holidays left a lot to be desired. Sometimes, Charlie had needed an escape, and the surrounding area of Pickerton provided that in bucketloads.

They poured into the cottage, laden with bags. Why they’d all packed as if they were away for a month was a mystery. The floor plan was an open concept. The walls were white, with bold colours splashed about the place in the ornaments and art that hung on the walls. It was nice, but not entirely Charlie’s cup of tea. It felt a little too modern. The owner had stripped the cottage of all its originality.

“Right, everyone pick a room and get settled. I’ll go grab some food for us all.” Sam was already halfway out the door before anyone had a chance to reply. Charlie would put money on Sam going to the local fish and chip shop. It was one of her favourite meals; one she didn’t get to indulge in often.

Hélène and Kim took the room that faced the front of the cottage. Anna collapsed in the bedroom next to theirs. That left the room on the opposite side of the cottage for Charlie. She wasn’t going to complain. The last thing she wanted was to listen to those four at night. Good job she brought her headphones.

Sam was back twenty minutes later, and the smell of fresh fish and chips engulfed the cottage, making everyone salivate. They sat in the living room, scarfing down their food in relative silence. Now and then, Charlie would see her friends exchange looks. They were worried about her. It was sweet.

“Ladies, I’m fine. I’ve decided to skip rehearsals. I doubt it will harm the performance. I would feel better having you guys there when I meet everyone again.”

“Of course,” Anna smiled.

“No problems, Char,” Sam nodded.

“Have you decided what to wear?” Kim asked.

“Not really. I brought several options. What about you guys?”

“Sexy cocktail dress for me,” Kim winked.

“Same,” chorused Hélène and Anna.

“Some nice trousers and a top,” Sam commented. Her focus was still on her plate of food.

“What did you bring with you?” Kim asked.

“Jeans, T-shirts, the usual.”

“Charlie, you cannot attend a ball in jeans and a T-shirt.” Kim looked aghast she’d even uttered the words. “Please tell me you brought something you could actually wear. The entire plan is to knock those Pickerton bitches on their arses.” Charlie laughed at Kim’s serious outburst. She was really taking this whole We’ve got your back thing to heart.

“Well, I brought some fitted black trousers and a waistcoat. Similar to what I wore at your wedding,” she nodded toward Anna and Sam. Her suit for their wedding had been navy blue, but Charlie always preferred black.

“Yes,” Kim shouted, making Anna jump.

“Merde , Kim, now I have to go to the toilet again. You can’t make me jump anymore, I’ll pee myself.”

“Sorry,” Kim laughed. The group waited for Anna to return. “Charlie, you will look phenomenal in trousers and a waistcoat. Forego the shirt underneath and let the world see your beautiful tattoos. Keep your hair down, add a bit of eye shadow and, bam, Emilie Martin will cream her knickers.”

“I don’t want her creaming her knickers, Kim,” Charlie laughed.

“Yes, you do. You want all those motherfuckers to know that Charlie Baxter is a sexy-ass woman and they’re all lucky just to be in the same vicinity as you.”

“All right, babe, calm down,” Hélène said, chuckling.

“I will not calm down. Charlie has been carrying this hurt for nearly two decades. It’s time she took back her power.”

“Too fucking right,” Sam chimed.

“Here, here,” Anna called. Charlie could feel her face warming. Surely, she was blushing.

“Thanks, guys.” They clinked their glasses and settled down.

“We have to make a good entrance, too,” Kim said. “What time do you need to get there?”

“Well, the first band starts at eight. We are on around nine thirty, I think. I should be there by half eight at the latest.” If she could get away with showing up, walking on stage, playing, and then leaving, she would, but, alas, she couldn’t be that rude. Not even to Emilie.

“Eight forty-five it is then—”

Charlie laughed, “I said eight thirty, Kim.”

“Yes, and we need to be stylishly late. I want all eyes on you, sugar, when you walk in that hall.”

Charlie rolled her eyes. There was no point arguing. She would put herself in the hands of her friends, sit back, and hope everything worked out.

Six

T he rehearsals had been fine. Nothing to write home about. It was a little difficult to really get it flowing without their pianist. Deep down, Emilie had hoped Charlotte would show, but it wasn’t to be. Now she sat on her bed, dressed to the nines in a long black ball gown, swallowing hard. Her nerves were out of control. Not for the ball or for their performance, but for Charlotte. Tonight was the night she would finally come face to face with Charlotte Munroe.

“The car is here,” Jess bellowed unnecessarily. The cottage wasn’t exactly gargantuan. She could hear her friend easily from anywhere in the building.

“On my way,” Emilie replied in a normal voice.

The academy had sent her a stretch limo, which, in Emilie’s opinion, was over the top. She understood Mr. Eccleton was happy she was attending and performing but she didn’t deem it necessary to go through all the fanfare. For one night, she just wanted to be Em, not the famous Emilie Martin.

Think of the donations .

That’s what really mattered. If she could boost their annual donations and help that little girl, then it would all be worth it.

Jess looked smart in a form-fitting black suit. Lydia had told them she would also be in black, more than likely a dress. Emilie took the champagne offered by Jess as she sat herself in the back of the car. Ridiculous, really. They would arrive in two quick minutes. Oh, well, she would have to down it.

The school had been completely decked out. Huge pine trees adorned with hundreds of lights stood guard on either side of the main entrance. Emilie had to smile. It was pretty magical.

The small silver watch on Emilie’s left wrist told her it was seven. They’d arrived in time for the cocktails to be served in the auditorium. The large hall had been stripped of its usual chairs, and instead, a dozen large round tables were perfectly placed about the room. The stage was set up with all the musical instruments needed.

Before Emilie could go over and investigate, she was surrounded by people. She and Jess had literally walked in thirty seconds ago and already they’d attracted a crowd. Time to put her game face on. Playing to an adoring crowd was what Emilie was known for. If she could keep thousands of fans happy, she wasn’t going to sweat a hundred old classmates and their spouses.

“Oh, wow, Emilie, we can’t believe you’re here,” some unknown woman gushed. Shit, maybe she should have studied her old class profile because she had no idea who half these people were.

“I wouldn’t have missed it.”

Smile and everything will be ok.

That’s how the next hour and a half went. Fake smiles, pleasantries, and wondering who the hell she was talking to. The fact that some of these people talked to her as though they’d been wonderful friends back in the day, grated on Emilie. This was why she was guarded around people. Everyone wanted something from her.

At around eight forty, the attendees had calmed down a little. Emilie found it easier to stand and have a drink with Jess and a couple of women she remembered but didn’t overly like. The student bands had been playing for an hour, and Emilie was suitably impressed. Eventually, Lydia joined them.

“Hey, these kids are good,” Lydia said, pointing to the stage.

“I’ve been impressed with all of them so far,” Emilie replied.

“Did you see that pianist in the second band? I think she could give what’s her name a run for her money,” Celia, one of the women who Emilie barely liked, commented.

“What’s her name?” Jess asked.

“Yeah, your weird bandmate. Oh, what was her name?” Celia asked.

Emilie bristled. She knew damn well Celia could recall Charlotte’s name. Hell, anyone in the music industry knew Charlotte’s name.

“I wonder if she’s still a goth?” Lydia laughed. Emilie kept quiet.

“God, she was awkward,” Daniella—the other tolerated woman—added.

“Shouldn’t she be here already?” Lydia asked, noting the time. It was almost quarter to nine and, ideally, Charlotte should be here talking to her bandmates, preparing for their performance.

“She probably couldn’t decide which T-shirt to wear with her baggy trousers,” Celia laughed. It was true that back in their school days, when Charlotte wasn’t in her uniform, she rarely strayed from wearing baggy T-shirts with even baggier jeans.

Suddenly, the air changed. It felt like an electric current zapped through the room. Emilie could hear murmurs and slight gasps. Turning towards the entrance to the auditorium, she saw the crowd parting. Had Moses popped by? Why the hell was everyone gawping and moving out of the wa—

“Fuck me,” Jess said, louder than she’d probably meant to. Emilie felt all the air in her lungs vanish. Walking towards them was Charlotte, surrounded by four absolutely gorgeous women, two of whom were hanging off Charlotte’s arms.

As for Charlotte herself, Emilie was floored. Gone was any awkwardness. Striding towards her was an ethereal, dark goddess. Emilie’s eyes wandered from Charlotte’s black patent leather heels to her form-fitting black slacks up to her vest, that was so snug, Emilie was sure Charlotte wouldn’t be able to move much without her breasts spilling out.

Holy shit, she wasn’t wearing a shirt underneath. Emilie blinked several times and clenched her thighs. She stared at the most beautiful tattoos she’d ever seen, which covered Charlotte’s upper arms. Jesus Christ, her cleavage was unbelievable. Emilie’s eyes travelled further, up to Charlotte’s face. Almost twenty years may have passed, but Charlotte’s face hadn’t changed at all. Her eyes were just as piercing as they were when she was a teen. Her skin had cleared up and was radiating warmth and softness. And that hair… Wow, she still had butt-length hair that looked like black silk.

Everyone in the hall was silent. Charlotte sure knew how to make an entrance. She wasn’t hiding away, trying to slip into the background. No. This Charlotte was in your face, and she fucking owned it. Emilie was entranced as the angel that was Charlotte Munroe stopped in front of her. Celia, Danielle, Lydia, and Jess were all gaping. Jess was looking Charlotte up and down like she was a meal.

Emilie felt an elbow in her side. Jess was nudging her. She cleared her throat, willing herself to get it together. They stared at each other for a moment. Emilie didn’t know what the hell was happening when she saw Charlotte lean in. Then Charlotte’s face was next to hers. She felt the kiss on her cheek, and she almost keeled over.

Charlotte pulled back, “Hello, Em.” Lord have mercy. Charlotte’s voice was orgasm inducing; all low and husky.

“Char… Charlotte,” Emilie stuttered. She was not winning any prizes for her smoothness this evening, that was for sure. Blinking again, she straightened her shoulders and got back into entertainer mode. It was the only way she was going to function like a sane person.

“It’s Charlie now,” Charlotte commented. “Charlie Baxter.”

Well, that explained why Emilie had never been able to keep track of her. Charlotte Munroe didn’t exist anymore.

“Charlie, it’s great to see you.” Did she sound convincing? She hoped so. Everyone was still watching their interaction. Another wave of guilt rolled about in Emilie’s stomach. People were watching because they probably remembered the last time Emilie and Charlotte—sorry, Charlie—had spoken. Well, more like when Emilie had humiliated Charlie in front of everyone.

“You too. Congrats on the success. Happy to see you got everything you wanted.” That was a swipe at her if ever she heard it. “Let me introduce my companions.” Charlie leaned to her left and kissed the stunning platinum blonde on the cheek. “This is Kimberley Richmond.” She turned to the dirty blonde on her right and kissed her cheek next. “Hélène DuBois.” Letting the two women go, she turned and ushered a glowing brunette forward. “Anna Holland.” Next, she put her arm around a very fit-looking redhead. “And Samantha Chambers. Ladies, may I introduce you to Emilie Martin. Also, Jess and Lydia, who are the other members of the band.” Charlotte then turned to Celia and Danielle. “Sorry, I don’t recall you two.”

Emilie nearly choked on her tongue. Charlotte had just given them the proverbial finger. Everyone knew Celia and Danielle.

“It’s lovely to meet you all,” Emilie stuttered. Christ, she needed to do a better job than this. She was Emilie Martin, for God’s sake.

“Wow, Charlie, you look… Just wow,” Jess said, nearly drooling.

“Indeed, a lot has changed in the last two decades,” Charlie smiled. That voice, wow, it was doing very inappropriate things to Emilie.

“Charlotte,” Lydia said. Okay, she still wasn’t a fan, then.

“It’s Charlie. Sorry, didn’t you hear the first time?”

Lydia blushed. She wasn’t used to Charlie calling her out on her shit. Lydia had been a bitch to—then, Charlotte—every day. Emilie assumed it was because Charlie and she were together, and Lydia was jealous.

“Sugar, I’m going to grab a drink with the girls. Bourbon?”

“Yeah, thanks, Kim, I’ll be over shortly.” Was Charlie sleeping with all these beautiful women?

“That’s quite the entourage you have there,” Celia mocked. Pissed Off Celia was a nasty piece of work.

“Not an entourage, just close friends. Thought we might as well make a weekend of it whilst we’re here,” Charlie replied smoothly. “I apologise for being absent yesterday, but it was unavoidable. Did I miss anything important?”

“No, not at all. You got the set list?” Jess asked.

“Yeah, I can’t see any of those pieces being an issue. Although I have to confess, it’s been a while since I played.”

“Really?” Emilie was desperate to know what Charlie had been doing all these years.

“Yes, I gave up the piano in university. I’m a photographer now.”

“Hang on, you’re Charlie Baxter. The Charlie Baxter of S. C. Photography?” Danielle asked, her tone disbelieving and a little starstruck. Emilie looked at Charlie, who smirked.

“That’s me.”

“Bloody hell,” Celia choked. “Your work is… Well, it’s beautiful.”

“Thank you.”

Emilie made a note to immediately Google Charlie when she got back to the cottage.

“You stopped playing completely?” Jess asked.

“Yes, I thought it best to leave all that behind. The love was gone.” Emilie felt that statement in her very soul. “Don’t worry, though, I’m sure I’ll be fine this evening. Now, if you don’t mind, I have a bourbon on the rocks waiting for me. I’ll see you backstage later.”

Emilie watched Charlie turn and walk away. Her eyes were glued to Charlie’s ass, which looked delicious.

“Hey, Em, you good?” Jess asked. Emilie was not good; she was shaken. A light pressure on her upper arm pulled her attention from the spot where she’d lost sight of Charlie. “Em?”

“Yeah, yeah, fine. I just need a second.” The washroom Emilie crashed into was thankfully empty. She gripped the edge of the sink and took some deep breaths. That had been harder than she thought.

The third cocktail was probably a mistake, but Emilie drank it anyway. In two minutes, she was about to go onstage with Charlie again. The last time had been a couple of weeks before everything had turned to shit between them. Could Charlie still play?

Mr. Eccleton introduced them. The crowd—now well inebriated—cheered wildly. Emilie peered over her shoulder as she waited in the wings with the rest of the band. Jess looked bored. Lydia was glaring at Charlie, who was smirking back at Lydia. Jesus, it really did feel like they were back in school.

No time for all that now, though. There was a show to perform. With a bright smile, Emilie walked on to the stage. The crowd that was no more than one hundred people, bellowed and screamed. Emilie surveyed the room. Finally, she spotted the little girl who had lost her parents. She was sitting to the left of the stage on a stool. Next to her was a woman who had her hand on the girl’s shoulder. Grandmother, perhaps? Emilie caught the girl’s eye and gave her a wink.

“Good evening, everyone.” The room erupted into more screams. Emilie looked back at the others. Jess had settled behind the drums. Lydia was pulling her bass strap over her head and Charlie, well, Charlie was looking at the piano like it was going to burn her.

Please don’t freeze, Charlie .

Emilie turned back to the room. If she could entertain them for a few more minutes, maybe it would give Charlie enough time to relax and settle.

“I am absolutely honoured to be here tonight. It’s wonderful to see so many of my classmates again. And what a treat it is to re-form our band.” A couple of wolf whistles pierced the air. “Tonight, we are going to play some of our greatest hits. I hope you remember them all. We played them often enough,” she laughed. Considering their band was the only decent one in their year group, they ended up playing to the school a lot.

With a quick glance, Emilie saw Charlie had sat behind the piano, looking calmer. “Alright, ladies, let’s do this.” With that, Jess counted them in. They had five songs to play. Time flew by as they played. Emilie sang with all the love and devotion as if it were one of her own concerts.

“Okay, last song of the night, guys,” Emilie announced, garnering protests all around, which made her laugh. This song was the one she was nervous about. It was her song, the one she wrote in school, and the one that had become a hit. Usually, she played the song with her guitar, but originally it had been written so that only a piano assisted her. The truth was, Losing My Head Over You wasn’t just her song. It was hers and Charlie’s. Emilie wondered if Charlie still saw it that way. Only one way to find out.

“I think you’ll all recognize this last song. I’m sure it was on the radio at some point,” she laughed. “Tonight, though, I’d like to change it up. Charlie…” she called, looking over. She saw the look in Charlie’s eyes. Yeah, she remembered all right. “Just you and me this time,” Emilie finished.

Turning back to the crowd, she prayed Charlie would begin playing. Closing her eyes, she summoned all the energy required to sing the song. When the first note rang through the air, Emilie smiled. Charlie played the intro, and Emilie wanted to cry. She played just as beautifully as she did twenty years ago. Holding nothing back, Emilie sang. Tonight, she sang for her friend—for the girl she hurt all those years ago.

“I think that went well,” Jess said, leaning against the bar with a beer in her hand. They’d finished the set half an hour ago, but Emilie had only just finished chatting to all the people who had rushed over once the last song had ended. It was all part of it, though. She’d spent some time talking to Grace, the young girl. It broke Emilie’s heart hearing about her mom and dad. It was remarkable how strong Grace was.

“I’m pleased,” Emilie commented, her eyes scanning the room. Charlie had zipped offstage as soon as she could and then disappeared into the crowd.

“If you’re looking for Charlie, she just went to the washroom.”

Emilie wasn’t going to hide the fact that she had definitely been searching for Charlie. Jess knew their background and understood what a big deal tonight had been.

“Order me a martini. I’ll be right back.” The problem now was figuring out which washroom she would have gone to. Pickerton had a lot.

Would she have gone to our washroom?

A little ember glowed in her chest. Their washroom was on the floor by the teachers’ quarters. Students never used it because, technically, it was supposed to be for faculty. That hadn’t stopped Emilie and Charlie, though. Not when they found out the teachers usually used the washroom closer to the teachers’ lounge, leaving that one empty ninety percent of the time.

Surely Charlie wouldn’t go there, though. Would it mean something if she did? Thinking no more about it, Emilie headed to the teachers’ quarters. Every corridor reminded her of the good times she’d had here. Nearly all of them included Charlie.

Stopping briefly, she rolled her shoulders before pushing open the door. Standing at the sink with her head bent was Charlie. Emilie repressed the smile that wanted to bloom on her face. It looked as if she’d interrupted Charlie, and she wasn’t sure she was going to be welcomed. They had to talk, though—properly.

“Hi,” Emilie said quietly. This part of the school was completely empty, bar them. The silence was a little eerie, but that was how Emilie remembered it and liked it. Charlie raised her head. She gazed at Emilie through the mirror.

“Hi.” Charlie straightened up and turned around so they were facing each other. Emilie took a tentative step forward.

“You played beautifully, Charlie.” If nothing else, Emilie hoped Charlie would accept her compliment. Honestly, Charlie looked as if she wanted to sprint out of the room as fast as she could. As Charlie’s green eyes bored into hers, Emilie had to remind herself to breathe.

“Thanks, you sang wonderfully. It’s no surprise you’re a megastar, Em.”

Em. She called her Em again. Most of her friends called her that, but it never sounded so sweet as it did when Charlie said it.

“I’ve been lucky.” Emilie smiled, and Charlie nodded. Silence settled between them again. Emilie was going to have to take the plunge. “Charlie, I need to apologize—” she was interrupted when Charlie held up her hand.

“Stop, I don’t need an apology. It was twenty years ago.”

“Yes, and I’m twenty years late giving you the apology you deserved the moment I’d finished shouting at you.”

“So, it’s to assuage your own guilt?”

“No, Charlie. I’ll live with that guilt for the rest of my life. You deserve my apology for you.”

Charlie ran her hands through her long mane. God, Emilie wanted to touch her. “You know, it was never about the fact you shouted at me in front of everyone. It was the fact you believed I would have done something so terrible to you in the first place. How could you have taken the word of those manipulative bitches over me after everything we shared…after everything we talked about and planned?”

The pain in Charlie’s eyes was unbearable. It was true, though. Back then, Emilie had believed others over Charlie. And she’d done it so easily.

“Charlie, I don’t know what to say. It will just sound like an excuse, no matter what.”

“Try me, Em. Tell me why you blew up our lives.”

“I was scared, Charlie. Fuck, when the press got hold of all that information, I spun out. It was all so personal, and I’d only divulged it to you. I wasn’t thinking clearly at all. My uncle was going nuts. He was threatening to sue the academy. On top of that, I had my friends telling me it was only logical that you were the one to sell my information.”

“Did you ever stop to think that I had zero reason to do that? Well, did you? I was wealthier than you back then, for fuck’s sake. Regardless, you knew me well enough. I never wanted money. We were supposed to be in love. We’d made plans for a life together, Em.”

“But you were the only one I told—”

“So even after two decades, you still believe it was me?” Charlie bellowed. Emilie hadn’t meant for it to sound like another accusation. “Whether you like it or not, Em, we were never in private here. Christ, we shared the building with four hundred other girls. Even on holidays, it was never just you and me. And if I recall correctly, the day you told me all that stuff, we were in the locker room. Can you guarantee we were alone? Because I can’t. But that’s unreasonable, right? Much easier to think the girl who loved you more than life, was the one to betray you to the fucking press.”

Emilie had never seen Charlie so angry.

That’s what twenty years of hurt will do to a person .

“Charlie, I’m so sorry.”

“Me too, Em. I think you broke something precious. I suppose we’ll never know for sure. It’s been good seeing you again. Good luck with everything. Maybe we’ll catch up in another twenty years.” Charlie shook her head as she walked past Emilie and out of her life…again.

Seven

C harlie weaved her way through the crowd and made it to the bar where everyone was waiting. There were shots lined up for them, all of which Charlie downed in quick succession. She’d order more for the girls. Right now, though, she needed the alcohol.

From the moment she’d stepped into the room and seen Emilie surrounded by her adoring, bitchy friends, she’d kept a lid on her feelings. She’d managed it when talking to them. Hell, she’d managed it when Lydia glared at her backstage. All that time, she’d managed, until she faced Emilie in their washroom. Why had she gone there? Charlie knew she was playing with fire, visiting their old haunt.

“Hey, you good?” Sam asked.

“No.” Another shot disappeared down her throat.

“Tell us what happened,” Anna said calmly.

“I ran into Emilie in the toilets. We ended up talking and I said stuff.” That was the Cliff Notes version of the conversation. Charlie couldn’t believe she’d spewed all that out. But in the moment, listening to Emilie apologise and give weak-arse excuses for how she treated Charlie, she couldn’t keep quiet. For decades, she’d needed to know the answer to her question. Why had Emilie believed anyone over her?

Her body was enveloped. Kim, Hélène, Anna, and Sam had wrapped themselves around her. She smiled. “I’m okay. Sorry, just got emotional in there.”

“Hey, no apologising.” Kim was the shortest of them all. She was wrapped around Charlie’s waist like a koala bear.

“I suppose I should thank you all, really. I know you’re fans of Emilie’s and I’m sure you wanted to get a little star-struck, but you held out for me. I appreciate it.”

Especially you, Kim .

“Yeah, we’re fans of hers, but we’re bigger fans of you,” Sam said, kissing her temple.

“You were truly amazing up there!” Anna gushed.

“And I think we need to discuss how fabulous that entrance was. I mean, seriously, every head in this room was turned,” Hélène noted.

“Plus, I lost count of the number of women giving you come-fuck-me eyes,” Kim chuckled.

“You’re good for my ego,” Charlie laughed.

“It’s true. The woman standing by Emilie when we came in was eyeing you up like you were dessert,” Sam said.

“Who? Jess? I don’t think so.” Charlie didn’t dislike Jess. She wasn’t one of the girls that had been awful to her, but she was a bystander. She never stood up for Charlie.

“Yes, Jess. In fact, she’s still looking at you that way,” Hélène commented, raising her eyebrow and looking over Charlie’s shoulder. There wasn’t a subtle way for Charlie to turn and see, and honestly, she didn’t want to. No one from her past interested her. Well, no one but Emilie.

“How long does this shindig go on for?” Kim asked.

“Until half twelve, I think. It’s my first time here, so I’ll go by what the email said.” Hopefully, Charlie wouldn’t have to stay past the midnight mark. She’d much rather go back to the cottage and drink with the girls.

“Okay, so we have about an hour and a half left. Let’s put everything aside and enjoy ourselves. You’ve done the hard part, Char. Now you get to let loose with your besties.” Kim was already handing her another shot. The effects of the previous ones were only now kicking in. She needed to pace herself. The last thing she wanted was to make a tit of herself, not after she’d handled everything so well.

All four of them raised their shots and necked them. Anna sipped on water. The live music had been replaced with the auditorium’s sound system. There were plenty of people dancing on the makeshift dance floor. Kim grabbed Hélène and headed to the middle. Charlie loved watching Kim strut her stuff. She was phenomenal on those heels.

Charlie, Sam, and Anna followed close behind. Anna was looking fatigued, but she didn’t say anything, and Charlie didn’t want to piss off her pregnant friend by pointing out how tired she looked. Instead, she danced with them both. Eventually, all five of them ended up in a huddle in the centre of the floor.

Several times, Charlie found herself dancing with a beautiful woman. Maybe Kim was right? Maybe she had turned more heads than she thought. The music got more upbeat and the guests more inebriated. Charlie hadn’t seen Emilie since the washroom and she chided herself a few times when her eyes wandered around the room, looking.

Six songs in and Charlie saw Emilie. She was dancing with Jess and Lydia, seemingly enjoying herself. Charlie allowed herself to look. Since she’d unloaded on Emilie in the washroom, she felt mildly better. Getting it all off her chest was cathartic. Now, though, as she watched Emilie dance, the hurt she’d felt when arriving had all but vanished. What was the point of holding on to it? Who did it help? Certainly not Charlie.

The last song was announced and, surprisingly, Charlie felt herself move towards Emilie. Her friends gave her a questioning look, which she ignored. Right now, she just wanted to be close to Emilie again. She would chalk it up to nostalgia. Whatever. It didn’t matter. Emilie turned just as Charlie reached her side.

“Care to dance?” If Emilie was surprised by Charlie’s invitation, she didn’t let on.

“I’d love to.” Once again, it felt like every head turned their way and watched as they manoeuvred into position. The song was a ballad: Elton John’s Your Song . Charlie took the lead, guiding Emilie’s hand to her waist whilst grasping the other. They moved seamlessly together, just as they always had. Neither spoke. Their eye contact never faltered as they danced.

It had been a very long time since Charlie had felt…well, something she couldn’t put a name to. It was warm and safe. Looking into Emilie’s eyes was like coming home. She still had that voice in her head, reminding her of what Emilie had done, but right then, she was lost to her first love.

The song ended and the lights came up. Mr Eccleton tapped his glass, informing everyone the ball was officially over. Charlie and Emilie hadn’t shifted from their dance position, and they were still locked in a heated stare. Charlie had the overwhelming desire to kiss Emilie. Before she could do anything, Lydia sidled up to Emilie’s side, breaking their moment.

“Em, you ready to go? We’re heading back to your place, right?”

Charlie looked from Lydia to Emilie. Jealousy surged through her system, especially when Lydia gave her a knowing smirk. Bitch.

Emilie looked at Lydia. “Yeah, I’m ready.” And then she turned back to Charlie. “Do you and your friends want to come?”

Charlie answered before thinking it through. “Sure, that would be fun.” Lydia’s face, at the surprise invitation, made it worth accepting. Even if the rest of the night turned out to be a disaster, Charlie would hold on to that.

Oh, Lord, her head hurt. The afterparty must have been wild. Why couldn’t she remember… Oh, shit. Charlie had a rush of memories flicker through her mind. There had been a lot of drinking, plenty of laughing, and a ton of chemistry between her and Emilie.

Charlie rolled over and felt the other body lying next to hers. She closed her eyes again, preparing herself for the person she was about to see. Turning her head, Charlie focused on the chocolate brown hair splayed across the pillow. Emilie looked so peaceful sleeping.

Another set of memories presented themselves: Emilie beneath Charlie, writhing, her body shaking.

Oh, fuck, what have I done?

Propping herself up on her elbows, she looked around the room. They’d made it up to Emilie’s bed at least. Peeking down into the main part of the house, Charlie could’ve cried with relief when she saw no other bodies. Her friends must have gone back to their cottage.

How should she play this? Was she sorry she’d slept with Emilie? Honestly, no. They’d been dancing around each other since they’d returned to Emilie’s cottage. The more they drank, the more intense their connection felt, until finally Charlie couldn’t take it anymore. Drunk Charlie was a horny bitch at the best of times. Add a very sexy Emilie Martin to the mix, and Charlie never stood a chance.

Taking a few deep breaths, Charlie decided to treat the morning as if it were any other. Emilie was softly snoring, which made her laugh. Slipping out of bed, she made her way down to the kitchen. After the coffee machine got going, she rooted around the fridge for breakfast. Only a combination of bacon and eggs would do.

The grease from the frying bacon made Charlie’s stomach roll a little. She definitely had a hangover, but not the worst she’d ever suffered. A nice egg and bacon butty would sort her out. Placing a tray on the kitchen island, Charlie plated up Emilie’s sandwich and coffee.

Climbing the steep stairs up to the bedroom wasn’t the easiest of things. She wondered how they’d managed them last night without breaking their necks. Emilie was on her front with her head buried in her pillow. The familiarity of the sight caught Charlie by surprise.

The rooms at Pickerton were dormitory style, unless you were lucky enough to get a single. Charlie and Emilie were given their own rooms, which was fantastic. Yes, they weren’t supposed to stay with each other overnight, but that never stopped them. They were two teens who had just discovered sex. Nothing could have kept them apart. Charlie lost count of the times she woke up to see Emilie in the very position she was in now.

Setting the breakfast down, she climbed back into bed. Leaning over, she brushed Emilie’s hair away from her face, smiled, and then kissed her on the temple. A small groan was the only evidence Emilie had felt the soft kiss. Charlie chuckled to herself.

“Em, wake up. Breakfast is ready.”

Emilie’s eyes fluttered open. Charlie held her breath, waiting to see how Emilie was going to react. A broad smile crossed Emilie’s face as she registered Charlie leaning over her.

“Morning,” she said in a husky voice. It was adorable. Charlie always loved Emilie’s sleep voice.

“Bacon and egg butty. Coffee as well.”

“Oh my God, yes, that’s exactly what I need right now. Probably a thousand litres of water and painkillers, too.”

“I can help with that.” Charlie jumped out of bed and headed back downstairs. She heard Emilie shuffle about, probably sitting herself up. When she looked back up to the bedroom, she saw Emilie watching her. A tingle swept down her spine. Ignoring her building libido, Charlie filled a large jug with water, and took a glass and painkillers that had been sitting on the kitchen counter back up to Emilie.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Emilie said in a soft voice.

“It’s no biggie.” Charlie propped herself up against the headboard, close to Emilie, and took a bite of her sandwich. “Careful, the egg is soft,” she muttered as she licked yolk off her hands.

Together, they ate in silence, listening to the birds. Charlie could almost imagine herself living here with Emilie, waking up and making breakfast for her on a weekend. It was painful to know it was just a fantasy. They might have slept together, but nothing had really changed between them.

When Charlie asked Emilie to dance at the ball, she’d allowed herself to let go of a lot of the hurt she still felt. Not being weighed down by those feelings felt good. Charlie wanted to forgive Emilie. It was better for both of them. Finally, they could both move on. Having sex had not been on her agenda, but maybe it was a good way for them to close the chapter.

Emilie was going back to Canada and then back to her superstar life. Charlie would go back to work. Now they could separate with no baggage.

“When do you leave?” Charlie asked.

“I have a flight out tomorrow evening.”

“Montreal, right?”

“Closer to Quebec City, actually. I can’t wait to get home. I need to cuddle my dog,” Emilie laughed.

“What dog do you have?” This was a strange reality for Charlie, lying here in a bed with Emilie Martin, making small talk.

“A Golden Retriever called Spud.”

“Spud?” Charlie laughed.

“Yeah, it’s her spirit name. She sits on the sofa looking like a sack of potatoes. I didn’t want to call her potato, and I remembered the English slang was spud, so I called her that. Do you have any pets?”

“Nope, I’m away too much. I hope one day I will. Maybe when I’m more settled.” Charlie wanted to say more, but she didn’t. It was time to extricate herself from Emilie’s bed before things got messy. “I… I’d better get going. Sam will wonder where I am.”

“Oh, sure, okay.” Emilie put her plate down and sat up straighter.

“It was good seeing you, Em.”

“Yeah, you too. Um…could we keep in touch?”

Was that a good idea? Surely a clean break would be better. The hope in Emilie’s eyes was so clear, though, Charlie couldn’t say no.

“Sure. I’ll leave a card on the counter downstairs.” Not wanting to stretch out the situation, which was rapidly becoming awkward, Charlie got up and dressed. In her peripheral vision, she could see Emilie watching her.

Fastening her trousers, Charlie picked up her heels. “I’ll see you around, Emilie Martin.”

“Well, look who it is!” Kim shouted as Charlie tried in vain to sneak into the cottage unseen.

“Ah, the walk of shame,” Sam laughed. All four of her friends were sitting on the couch with coffee and croissants.

“No shame here,” Charlie said, dropping into the small tub chair opposite her friends. “Sorry, I kind of ditched you all.”

“No apology needed, Char. You were clearly enjoying yourself,” Anna laughed. Thinking back to last night, Charlie couldn’t remember her friends leaving. Honestly, once she’d started dancing with Emilie again in the living room, everything else sort of disappeared. It was just her and Emilie.

“When did you all leave?”

“Oh, right around the time you picked Emilie up, wrapped her legs around you, and took her up those bloody steep-as-fuck stairs,” Kim laughed.

“Oh, shit, really?” Charlie was mortified.

“Absolutely. You both kind of just went for it, regardless of the fact we were all there. I had to practically drag that Lydia woman out, kicking and screaming. Jess found it hilarious, even if she was a touch disappointed she didn’t get to have a crack at you herself,” Sam commented.

“Jesus!” Charlie groaned.

“How did you guys leave it?” Anna asked.

“Well, we didn’t have a big heart-to-heart if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“Okay, so what did you say?”

“Nothing, really. I made her breakfast—”

“Breakfast? Do you usually do that?” Sam quirked her eyebrow. She knew full well Charlie wasn’t the type to get domesticated with the women she slept with.

“Well, it didn’t feel right just leaving, and I woke up before her. Em never did well at getting up,” Charlie mused. Then she realised her mistake. Four sets of perfectly shaped eyebrows raised at her brief trip down memory lane. “Look, Em and I have history. But that’s all it is. I think we did some healing, that’s all. We were able to close that chapter in our lives. She asked to keep in contact, so I left my card, but I doubt she’ll call. We have lives to go back to. Coming back to Pickerton was a good thing for both of us, I think. It was special, but now it’s done.”

“And that’s what you want?” Sam asked.

“I think it’s the right choice.” Was there any other option, really? Surely, she would set herself up for more heartache if she entertained the idea of allowing Emilie back into her life again.

“Hmm, not sure I agree,” Sam stated, looking at Charlie with concern. Hélène, Kim, and Anna all exchanged a look. Charlie didn’t like this at all.

“I think it’s time to pack up, honey,” Kim said to Hélène. Anna followed behind, stating she needed to go to the loo again and was going to pack her and Sam’s belongings.

Sam shifted closer to Charlie. “Can we talk about this?”

“What’s there to talk about? I’ve already told you how I feel.”

“No, you haven’t. You told us what you think is best. Char, you’ve been a mess because of Emilie for two fucking decades. Now you’re suddenly okay and it’s all over?”

“I don’t want to hold on to it anymore, Sam. But I don’t want to open myself up to her again either.”

“Hey, I get that. I’m really surprised you slept with her though, Char.”

“You and me both. I forgot how magnetising she is to me. It was the same as when we first met. I couldn’t keep away from her. Especially after we had sex for the first time. Fuck, I think we hid away in her room for an entire week once.”

“That’s my point, Char. You had something really intense with Emilie. Do you really think you can just go back to the way it was before this weekend happened? Before you got to speak and touch her again?”

“Shit, Sam, I don’t know, but what’s the alternative? Become friends? I can’t see that working, can you?”

“No, I guess not. I just don’t want you to regret anything, that’s all.”

“I know, and I love you for your concern, Sammy, but I need to figure this out alone. However, right now I need to shower, pack my stuff, and get home.”

Sam nodded and squeezed her knee. Shuffling into her bedroom, Charlie sighed in frustration. Sam was right. Now she’d spoken to Emilie, felt her body; it was like she craved her all over again. The need for Emilie had never fully abated, but it had become manageable as the time passed. Now she felt as if she were back at square one.

This wasn’t the time to figure it all out, though. The weekend had been intense and stressful. The only thing Charlie knew was that she had to get home. With all her things packed, she stowed her bag in the back of the car.

“Come on, let’s go,” Hélène said quietly in her ear. With one more look around, Charlie slinked into the Land Rover.

Hélène began winding down the country roads. Charlie let her head rest on the back of her seat, her mind returning to her time with Emilie last night. She could feel Emilie’s soft skin on her fingertips. The touch of her lips as they travelled down Charlie’s torso. The euphoria she experienced when Emilie brought her to climax so skilfully.

Being completely lost in her reverie, it took her a second to register the sharp tug of her seatbelt as Hélène slammed on the car’s brakes.

“Putain. Mais c’est pas vrai! ” Hélène growled.

Charlie peered through the gap between the two front seats. Beyond the windscreen, Charlie could see a Mini Cooper blocking their way. The door to the compact car opened and out climbed Emilie.

“What the…?” Charlie mumbled. Without questioning her actions, she climbed out and went to Emilie. “Em, what the hell?”

“I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to get in the way. Well, not like that. I mean, I wanted you to stop, but not so quickly. Is everyone okay?”

Immediately, Charlie thought of Anna. “Hey, is everyone okay?” she asked through the passenger side window.

“We’re good,” Anna replied. Charlie assessed her before going back to Emilie, who was wringing her hands together nervously.

“Right, we stopped, so what’s up?” Charlie had no idea how to handle this situation at all.

“I want to hire you,” Emilie rushed out.

“Hire me?”

“Yes, I want to hire you for the next few months.”

Charlie stood looking at Emilie as if she’d lost her damn mind. “You could have just called, Em. I gave you my card.”

“Yes, but it would have been too easy for you to blow me off.”

Yeah, Charlie would definitely have done that.

“Okay, so what job do you want to hire me for?”

“First, I’ll be completely honest and tell you I’m flying by the seat of my pants here. After last night, I can’t imagine you just vanishing from my life again, Charlie. So, I thought that if I hired you, it would give us a chance to spend time together…get to know each other again.”

“Em, last night was great, but do you really want to go there again? Open up old wounds—some that still feel raw?”

“If we don’t, I think we will regret it, Charlie. Please, just think about it.”

“Well, what will I be doing, because it doesn’t seem you’ve thought this through, Emilie? I can’t just hang around for months on end.”

“You’ll be my private photographer. I’ll pay your rate. Hell, I’ll double it. Just say yes, please.”

Charlie turned to look at Sam. What the hell should she do?

Eight

E milie held her breath as Charlie made her way back to the Land Rover. What she’d asked of Charlie was a lot. Yes, she would be paying Charlie to do a job, but they both knew that wasn’t why Emilie wanted Charlie with her for the next few months.

Dancing with Charlie, inviting her back to the cottage, and sleeping with her came as a complete shock. Never in her wildest dreams did Emilie think she would have the chance to be that close to Charlie again.

When Charlie had asked her to dance at the ball, Emilie was wary. Their heated discussion in the washroom left her feeling as if there was no way back to any kind of relationship between them. First, she thought maybe Charlie was going to give her another scolding, but when she felt Charlie take her by the waist so gently, she knew it was going to be okay.

In that one moment, twenty years were erased. They were just two teenagers looking adoringly into each other’s eyes as the world fell away. The song ended far too quickly for Emilie’s liking. It was only when Lydia came over to see if she was ready to leave that the idea of inviting Charlie and her friends back to the cottage felt like the only option, because she needed the night to continue. If one night was all she could have with Charlie Baxter, then she wanted it to stretch out for as long as possible.

Lydia had thrown a shit fit in the car. Raging on about it being a friends-only gathering. Lydia was the only one who had a problem. Jess was more than happy for the group to join. Emilie wasn’t blind. She saw how Jess had looked at Charlie all night, and it sent acid shots through her stomach.

With music playing and drink aplenty, the after party had been a riot. Charlie’s friends were hilarious, even if they were reserved around her. Emilie guessed Charlie had filled them in on their past and she could understand why they were acting a little cool towards her. The short blonde woman, Kim, was a little terrifying, if she were being honest. Although after a couple of hours, everyone seemed to thaw. Everyone, bar Lydia.

The living room in Emilie’s cottage was their dance floor, and every one of them gave it their all. At some point, Charlie and Emilie gravitated to each other. Emilie shouldn’t have been surprised; it was always the case. They were naturally drawn to each other.

Whether it had been the alcohol or just their raw magnetism, Emilie found herself pressed up against Charlie as their bodies wound around each other. They moved so well with each other, even after all this time.

It was around about that time when Emilie couldn’t remember anything else about the party. She only had eyes for Charlie. The cottage could have been burning to the ground, and she wouldn’t have flinched. Emilie remembered Charlie’s eyes turning into black pools of lust. The look stole Emilie’s breath clean away.

The next thing she remembered with delicious clarity was Charlie’s lips on hers. Those soft, plump lips that knew how to extract Emilie’s desires in a second. The tongue that licked her bottom lip and then devoured her entirely. The sensation of every bit of blood rushing south. Her excitement soaking her thong. Charlie’s hands lifting her so effortlessly, her legs wrapping round Charlie’s powerful body. The motion of them ascending the stairs. Charlie lowering Emilie to her bed and taking what they both needed.

Their very first time together having sex was clumsy. They did a lot of practicing and they got better. Hell, they spent every spare second they could, locked away fucking. They were young and in love. Now, though, things were different. They’d both been with other women and it showed. Charlie used to be a quiet, almost timid, lover. Charlie twenty years later—the Charlie who ripped off her underwear with her teeth—was not timid. Older Charlie was confident. She was completely at ease with taking what she wanted, and Emilie wanted her to take it all. Yes, she’d loved having sex with timid sweetheart Charlie, but she was elated to have had ravishing, ferocious sex with this version of her first love.

The first orgasm had been quick. Emilie had been so turned on she couldn’t hold on. The second, third, and fourth were coaxed out of her by skilled hands and tongue. She was a wreck by the time she told Charlie to give her a break. Had she ever experienced anything this carnal before? Nope, never.

Finally, Emilie was given the chance to reciprocate. Charlie didn’t hesitate to tell her what she liked—another thing that differed from her younger self. Emilie was more than pleased to follow instruction. Charlie wanted Emilie to eat her out? No problem! Charlie wanted to be taken from behind? Absolutely fantastic! Charlie wanted to ride Emilie’s face? Go for it! Emilie was there for everything, and boy, did she deliver.

Waking up to Charlie gently kissing her head was surprising. The first threads of thought that danced through Emilie’s head were those of uncertainty. How was Charlie going to feel about what they’d done? Would she freak out? Would she get angry? None of those thoughts were correct. Charlie seemed calm and happy to be there. She’d made breakfast, for crying out loud.

Sleeping together had been more than a quick lay. Emilie felt she could speak for both of them when she said it had been restorative. Nothing erased the past, or her mistakes, but what they’d experienced that night paved a way for them to move on.

When Charlie had gone to fetch Emilie some painkillers, Emilie made the mistake of watching her go. It was a mistake because what she witnessed was her dream come to life. Her in bed, watching the woman of her dreams putter around downstairs. It was just how she’d envisioned it, but sadly, it wasn’t the permanent life she so desperately wanted. No matter how much they’d healed last night, Charlie would leave again.

After Charlie had left to go back to her rental place, Emilie cried. The weekend had been so far from what she thought it would be. The emotions she’d experienced were so unexpected, the only way she could process everything was to let them out in the form of tears. Emilie knew there was no way she could let Charlie disappear again. Even if they could only salvage a friendship out of it, that would be enough.

With that in mind, it had taken her a split second to decide she would offer Charlie a job. If she could just get Charlie to spend some time with her, she knew things would work out. Driving like a Formula One racer down country lanes hadn’t been the best idea, but she had been so eager to get to Charlie before she left, Emilie hadn’t taken care on the roads.

Watching the Land Rover careen towards her had been frightening. It would have totally been her fault if the cars had collided, but thank God, that hadn’t happened.

Now she was here, standing, waiting for Charlie to confer with her friends and give her an answer. Emilie sent silent prayers up to the universe that Charlie would agree. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as she watched Charlie talking to Sam. After a few minutes, Charlie straightened herself and walked back over to Emilie.

“Alright, I’ll take the job.”

“Really?”

“Yes, but hold on… I have some conditions.”

Emilie wasn’t at all surprised Charlie wanted to take control.

“First, this is business, Em. Whatever happens between us can’t get in the way. This is my job and I have a reputation to protect.”

“Of course.”

“Second… well, I haven’t really got anything after that,” Charlie mumbled. Emilie had to stifle a laugh. Charlie was very cute.

“We’ll play this any way you want, Charlie. All I want is the chance to get to know you again.”

“Okay, but I’m not ready for anything more, Em.” It was disappointing to hear and her heart ached, but she understood. They had a lot of time to catch up on, and Emilie had to find a way to make up for her mistakes.

“Will you fly home with me tomorrow? I have a jet to take me back to Quebec at eight.”

“Yes, alright. I need to go home first and collect my gear and pack.”

“Right, so, shall I meet you at the airport or…”

“Are you staying here until tomorrow?”

“That was the plan.”

“You could come to my place…if you wanted. I have a spare room, and it would be easier for us to get to the airport. We could discuss the job more. What you’re expecting, etcetera.”

Emilie’s heart did a little happy dance. Not only was Charlie coming with her to Canada, but she was also about to spend another evening with her, hopefully, alone.

“That would be great. I just need to let Jess know. She’ll be travelling with us, too.”

“Oh, she can stay at mine as well. I have the room.”

Not what Emilie wanted, but whatever.

“That’s really kind of you. I’m sure she will be happy with that.”

“Okay, give me your number and I’ll message you the address. I need to head back with these guys,” Charlie said, motioning to her friends. “You can follow when you’ve got everything squared away here.”

“Okay, great.” They stood looking at each other for a moment.

Finally, Charlie broke the stare and smiled. “I’ll see you later then.” With that, she walked back to the Land Rover.

Pleased with how everything was turning out, Emilie gave a little wave, climbed back into her Mini, and reversed out of their way.

“Where the hell have you been?” Jess asked from somewhere in the cottage. It took Emilie a second to locate her friend, who was bending down, looking under the couch.

“What are you doing down there?”

“I can’t find my sock.” Jess mumbled as she reached under the furniture, searching. “Anyway, you didn’t answer my question.”

“I…” How was she going to explain she’d made a rash decision and asked Charlie along to Canada? It’s not like she had anything to be ashamed of. She also didn’t need to explain herself to anyone. Jess wasn’t just anyone, though. She’d witnessed the relationship between Emilie and Charlie, and its subsequent breakdown. “I had to chat with Charlie.”

“Ah, did it not end well after last night?” Emilie felt her face go red. What had her friends witnessed, exactly?

“No, no, everything is fine. I offered Charlie a job.”

Well, that got Jess out from under the couch.

“What do you mean? What job?”

“I’ve hired her to be my personal photographer.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m not ready to say goodbye yet. We have a lot to catch up on.”

“Bloody hell, Em, it was only a shag. You don’t need to be dragging all this up again. Wouldn’t it be better to just leave it now?”

“Excuse me? Unless you were in bed with us last night, you have no business commenting on what it was or was not. You don’t have to like it, Jess, that’s up to you, but I’ve been carrying this with me for a long time. I’ve carried her with me. If I want a friendship with her, I’ll damn well have one.”

“Jack isn’t going to be happy about it.”

“What the fuck has Jack got to do with anything? Why are you being so negative right now?”

“I’m just looking out for you, Em. Don’t forget that I’ve been around for all this bollocks. I don’t want Charlie hurting you again.”

“I hurt her! I took what we had and threw it away because I let other people get in my head. I won’t do that again.”

“Alright, alright, don’t get your knickers in a wad. Just be careful, alright? Jack’s going to be pissed because he hates being out of the loop. You know he likes being the one to do the hiring and firing.”

“This is personal. Jack is my manager, not my guardian.”

“Sorry, Em, I’m not trying to bring you down. Honestly.” Emilie wasn’t sure she believed Jess, but what could she do? If Jess wanted to have a problem with it, then that was up to her. Emilie knew she’d done the right thing by inviting Charlie, and that was all that mattered.

“Let’s move on. If you’re agreeable, we’re going to go to Charlie’s tonight, stay over, and then go to the airport together.”

“Sure, whatever you want.” Jess resumed her search for the elusive sock. Emilie felt a pang of irritation, but she needed to let it go. Something good was about to happen and she wanted to be present for it.

The drive to Charlie’s house was done in relative silence. Emilie still couldn’t understand why Jess had acted so negatively towards the plan of hiring Charlie. Was it down to residual jealousy? Was Jess that upset she’d not had the chance to seduce Charlie herself?

Emilie shoved all thoughts aside as they drove up to Charlie’s house. No, not house…mansion. Emilie, herself, owned several large homes, but none of them had character and history like this one. Charlie had told Emilie about Bowman Manor many times over the course of their relationship. From what Emilie could remember, Charlie had never felt comfortable in the house after her grandmother had passed.

Looking up at the gargantuan building, Emilie could fully understand why little Charlie had felt so out of place. Emilie wasn’t a stranger to loneliness. Her own childhood had been plenty lonely. Charlie told Emilie many times that her parents were always gone. Imagining Charlie as a young kid, holed up in the house all alone, was heartbreaking. That was why Emilie found it strange that Charlie had stayed and made it her permanent home.

Pulling the car into a vacant space, Emilie settled her breathing before getting out. Jess, as usual, didn’t seem affected and was out of the car in a flash, grabbing their bags. The great oak doors on the front of the house opened, spilling light out into the early evening shadows. Emilie strained to see who stood waiting for them. It wasn’t Charlie, but an older woman. Emilie doubted it was Charlie’s mother.

“Evening all, come on in,” the woman called. Hauling her bag over her shoulder, Emilie proceeded into the house. “Stretch is expecting you. Go up the stairs. You’ll see where you need to be.”

“Thank you…”

“Carol.”

“Thank you, Carol. It’s lovely to meet you. I’m Emilie and this is Jess.”

“Nice to meet you too, duck. Off you go, don’t want to keep the lady of the house waiting. I think she’s cooked.”

Emilie chuckled. She could see Carol was someone fun to be around. She also gave off a warm, motherly vibe.

Taking the stairs slowly, Emilie let her gaze roam. From what she could see, the lower part of the manor had been turned into offices. It was definitely used for business. At the top of the stairs, Emilie saw that Charlie’s door had been left open for them.

The open plan apartment was stunning. Emilie loved the modern feel with all the retained characteristics of the building’s original design. It was very Charlie. Even though she didn’t know adult Charlie well, Emilie could tell the space reflected her character perfectly.

“Oh, hey, you’re here. How was the drive?”

Emilie wasn’t sure she would ever get used to the sight of Charlie again. There she was, standing in slouchy jogging pants and a white tank top that showed off all her glorious tattoos, with her hair whipped up in a messy bun. Emilie remembered tracing that ink with her tongue and her teeth.

Down, girl .

A twitchy clit was the last thing she needed right now.

“No problems at all.”

“Hey, Jess.” Charlie gave a little wave.

“Hi, Charlie, thanks for the invite.” Jess was looking Charlie up and down. She was not being subtle, and that pissed Emilie off. Sure, Em didn’t have any claim on Charlie, but she thought Jess was being a tad disrespectful. Her friend knew their history and what happened last night, yet here she was ogling Charlie, right in front of her.

“So, I have two spare rooms. Pick any one you want. I’m just making dinner. It’s got about twenty minutes left, so take your time settling in. After that, I suppose we should iron out some details.”

“Great, sounds wonderful,” Emilie said, smiling through her irritation.

With her bag placed at the end of the bed, Emilie wasted no time returning to Charlie in the kitchen. Everything in the space screamed professional, from the oven to the block of knives. Charlie obviously enjoyed cooking.

“You about ready to eat?”

“God, yes, I’m starved.” Emilie’s stomach rumbled on cue.

“Go sit at the table then, and I’ll ferry everything over.”

“I can help, Charlie.”

“Fine, grab the wine and some glasses from the rack.” It was all very domesticated. They moved effortlessly around one another, setting the table and bringing over the food. Emilie smiled widely when she realized Charlie had made Shepherd’s Pie, Emilie’s absolute favourite dish. Jess wandered out a few minutes later.

“This place is gorgeous, Charlie.” Jess said, settling down at the table.

“Thanks, it was a labour of love. Worth it, though.”

“I was surprised you stayed here,” Emilie said cautiously.

“Ah, you remember. Yeah, for a long time I left this place behind, but then my parents offered it up to me and Sam for the business, and I started to feel a connection again—not with my parents, but with my grandma. She loved this place, and I think she would be happy I’m here taking care of it. I’ve made it into my own.”

“Well, Jess is right, it’s gorgeous.”

“Thanks,” Charlie grinned.

Emilie needed Charlie to stop giving her those little smiles. The woman clearly had no clue what they were doing to Emilie’s heart and panties.

“Looking forward to spending time in Canada?” Jess asked.

“Yeah, I’ve only been a couple of times, and they were flying visits. Whereabouts will we be staying exactly?”

“My house is a few hours north of Quebec City. I hope you like forests,” Emilie laughed. Her house was on one of Canada’s many, many lakes. The cabin was surrounded by trees and there wasn’t a soul in sight for at least five kilometres.

“Forests are good. No issue here. Have you decided what I’ll be doing?” Charlie asked, her eyes fixed on her food.

“I thought it would be good to document the more personal side of my life. Not for the fans, but for me. I have a million and one photos of myself on stage or at some award ceremony, but I have hardly any of my friends and family just doing normal stuff. I was also thinking about organizing a few local gigs—”

“Since when?” Jess interrupted.

“Since now. Wouldn’t it be nice to do some smaller, more intimate shows? I was thinking we could visit some of the local towns. After all, those are the people who started my career. Not all of them can afford to travel to my concerts or afford the ticket prices. I think it’s time I showed my appreciation.”

“Jack is going to shit a brick, Em. No way he’s going to put up with that.”

“It’s not Jack’s choice,” Charlie spoke. Emilie and Jess stopped their bickering and stared at her. “Sorry, didn’t mean to overstep,” she added.

“You didn’t overstep. You’re right, it’s not his choice.”

“Hey, I’m with you, Em, but you know he’s going to fight it.”

“Why?” Charlie asked.

“He wants me to start writing another album. Even though I’ve told him, repeatedly, I need a break.”

“Well, he works for you, right?” Charlie commented.

“Yeah, but you would think it’s the other way round sometimes,” Jess replied.

“I think you gotta do you, Em. If you want to do smaller gigs to give back to the community, then do it,” Charlie shrugged.

“I’ll talk to Jack. Now, enough shop talk. That’s what the flight is for. Let’s get back to this wonderful dinner. You sure know how to cook a Shepherd’s Pie, Charlie.”

“I know my way around a kitchen, that’s for sure. Does it live up to your impossible Shepherd’s Pie standards?” Charlie grinned. Emilie couldn’t help the fact she liked a good Shepherd’s Pie.

“I’ll give you nine out of ten,” Emilie laughed.

“Why did I lose a point?” Charlie mock sulked.

“You didn’t serve it with crusty buttered bread.”

“Bollocks, I had it ready. Look, it’s on the counter,” Charlie protested, fetching the bread. “I get the point now, right?”

“Alright, you can have it. Ten out of ten for Ms. Baxter,” Emilie laughed.

Nine

H ad Charlie’s bed always been this uncomfortable? The answer had to be yes, because it must have been the millionth time she’d turned over. At this rate, she was starting to resemble a spit roast pig: Back. Side. Front. Other side. Nothing she did allowed her to settle. Okay, maybe it wasn’t so much the bed, but the woman sleeping in her spare room.

Ever since Emilie had cornered her on that country road, Charlie spent every second questioning whether she was doing the right thing. Sam certainly thought so. When Charlie had gone back to the car to tell the girls what Emilie had asked her, all four of them gave her a resounding, “Do it.”

Sam had been the one to convince her. “Charlie, this is a great opportunity. Not only will it give you time to get to know her again, but it will be great for your portfolio. Shit, after a few months tailing Emilie Martin, you’re going to have your pick of jobs.”

If she were being honest, she’d needed little encouragement. As resistant as she had seemed on the outside, her insides screamed at her to go along with it. So, she’d agreed. Why she’d invited Emilie and Jess to her place was a mystery. Her mouth just blurted the offer out. She couldn’t take it back once it was out there, though. That would have been rude.

Waiting for Emilie to arrive at her house had been anxiety inducing. It would be the first time Emilie saw Charlie’s life as a fully formed adult. Would she be impressed? It was silly to get hung up on those kinds of thoughts, but it was only natural. Charlie didn’t feel the need to impress many people, but Emilie was definitely an exception. She led such an accomplished life. How could Charlie not be a little insecure?

Their dinner together had been nice. There was no awkwardness or stiff silences. The conversation had flowed easily. Jess was cool, although Charlie noticed the appraising looks thrown her way now and then. Charlie did her best to ignore it. She didn’t want Jess or Emilie to think she was open to flirtation. This needed to be a business-only kind of arrangement.

Yes, she wanted to get to know Emilie again. They were, after all, more than just lovers back in the day. They’d been best friends, first and foremost, and it would be nice to form that kind of relationship again. But as far as romance between them was concerned, that just seemed like a recipe for disaster.

The gala had allowed them both to let go of some of the hurt, that was certain. Forgiving two decades worth of pain had needed to happen for both their sakes. Opening back up to Emilie again was something entirely different. The anguish Charlie suffered as a teen had been terrible. What would that feel like now as an adult? She wasn’t sure it was something she could come back from. No, they just had to try for friendship. That was safer for everyone.

With her brain still buzzing with thoughts and feelings, Charlie resigned herself to a sleepless night. Not one to stare at the ceiling, she peeled herself from her bed and shuffled to the kitchen. Thankfully, there were no squeaking floorboards to contend with. The last thing she wanted was for either Emilie or Jess to hear her.

Popping the light on above the oven, Charlie set about warming some milk. Alcohol wasn’t an intelligent choice; she would definitely do something stupid if she indulged in a glass of something. Instead, Charlie would be a good adult. She’d have a soothing glass of honey and milk, listen to some soft jazz on her wireless headphones, and then maybe do some yoga. Yes, centring herself was good! Thinking of Emilie wrapped up, possibly naked, in her spare room, was bad.

Bad, Charlie .

There was only one place Charlie could relax when she felt like this, and that was in the armchair by one of the large arched windows. From her trusty chair, Charlie was offered a wonderful view of the manor’s exquisite rose garden. It was here where Charlie felt closest to her grandmother.

Letting her head rest against the back of the chair, she closed her eyes. The soft melody of her favourite jazz playlist lulled her into a state of calm. The milk coated her throat and made her feel warm and safe. For a moment, her warring mind was peaceful.

The sensation of a warm hand touching Charlie’s forearm nearly gave her a coronary. “Jesus, fuck!” she squealed.

“Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” a very shocked looking Jess said. “I saw the light on when I went to the bathroom and wanted to check everything was okay.”

Her eyes were just as wide as Charlie’s. A few beats passed before they fell into laughter. Still clutching her chest, Charlie pressed pause on her playlist and patted down her lap, making sure she hadn’t catapulted warm milk all over herself.

“No worries, I was in a world of my own,” she chuckled.

“I take it you couldn’t sleep?” Jess asked, leaning against the armchair.

“Nope, my mind wouldn’t shut up. I thought a nice mug of warm milk and some music might help me relax.”

“I get it. I’m the same on tour. My sleep pattern goes right out the window, especially when we’re hopping into different time zones. Messes with everything.”

This was probably the most Charlie had spoken to Jess alone since school. Honestly, Charlie hadn’t given Emilie’s bandmates a second thought. Her focus had always been on the star.

“Hey, do you mind if I sit with you for a second?”

Charlie registered the sudden nervous energy radiating off Jess. “Yeah, sure. You want some milk? My grandma used to swear by it.”

“Thanks, that would be great.” Together, they went to the kitchen. Charlie silently went about heating more milk and grabbing a mug from the cupboard. Jess sat herself down at the breakfast bar. The atmosphere had changed slightly. Jess seemed more nervous than ever. Charlie put the steaming milk on the bar and took the seat next to Jess.

“I wanted to apologise,” Jess began, looking at the mug. “What happened all those years ago wasn’t right, and I feel like shit.”

“I don’t see why you should feel like shit,” Charlie said plainly. The problem had been entirely between her and Emilie, as far as she was concerned.

“No, I should have stood up for you. I know we didn’t exactly hang out or whatever, but you were a really important part of Emilie’s life. I should have made more of an effort to be your friend. How the others treated you was bullshit. When Em accused you of going to the press, I should have done more. I told Em I thought she was wrong, but she wouldn’t listen. I had no idea she was going to humiliate you like that. If I had, I would have warned you or tried harder to get Em to see sense.”

Well, this was a turn up for the books. Honestly, Charlie had come to terms with the fact most of the girls at the academy never gave two shits about her. The only reason she was tolerated by ninety percent of the student body was because of Emilie. Jess had never been a dick to her, but she’d certainly never tried to bring her into the fold, either. The apology was welcome. If she’d had just a shred of support back then, she may have handled everything differently, but that hadn’t happened so no point in wondering, “What if?”

“Thanks, I suppose. I don’t really know what to say to be honest, Jess.”

“You don’t have to say anything, Charlie. I needed to get that off my chest. I’ve carried the guilt around for a long time. I didn’t realise it until the gala came up. Emilie was a nervous wreck for months, understandably. I was too, if I’m telling the truth. I never wanted to be that girl in school, you know.”

“What? A raging bitch?” Charlie laughed.

“Yeah,” Jess grinned. “I think I was so focused on making sure I got through the academy unscathed, I didn’t stop to think about how my inactions were just as damaging as my actions.”

“Wow, that’s some deep shit, Jess,” Charlie chuckled. She didn’t want Jess to think she was making light of her apology. It was all just so far out of left field. Blimey, she’d only managed a small conversation with Emilie about what happened between them. Charlie certainly wasn’t prepared for an in-depth discussion with Jess.

“Hey, I’m a deep person, thanks,” Jess winked. “Seriously, though, I am sorry.”

“I appreciate it. Really.” There was a question on the tip of her tongue and Jess must have sensed it.

“Ask what you want,” Jess pushed.

“Do you know who it was that went to the press?”

“No, but I knew it couldn’t have been you. The pair of you, together, were sickly sweet and loved up. You were far too in love with Em to have betrayed her like that.”

“So why the fuck didn’t she believe me? If you could see all that, surely, she did too?” Charlie couldn’t help her ire. No matter how hard she tried to forgive and forget, the injustice wedged itself in her chest.

“I think she was just so shocked to have had all those private conversations aired in public, she lost her damn mind.”

“Yeah, but some arsehole suggested it was me.”

“I agree. Emilie never told me who it was, though.”

The righteous anger that had been coursing through Charlie mere seconds ago evaporated, leaving her fatigued. A bigger conversation had to happen with Emilie. Maybe because they were now in a position that wasn’t entirely fuelled by decades of hurt, they could wade through the shit and finally find out who had ripped their lives apart.

“Well, this has been enlightening. Thanks for saying sorry. I think I needed to hear it. I hope we can build a friendship on top of it?”

“I’d really like that, Charlie.” Before Charlie could protest, Jess flung her arms around Charlie’s neck, pulling her into a tight embrace. It was awkward, but Charlie allowed it for a few seconds. She then carefully pulled away and said good night. Sleep might not come, but she wasn’t going to spend any more time out in the open. No, she needed the sanctuary of her room.

The buzzing of her phone roused Charlie. Around five a.m., she’d finally fallen into a dream-filled sleep. Her head felt groggy, like she’d been drinking, but, in fact, it was the contents of the dream. Maybe calling it a nightmare would have been a more appropriate way to describe it. The last day of term was the sole premise of it. Christ, it had been a long time since she’d relived it in her sleep. Not wanting to give it any more focus, Charlie grabbed for her mobile.

“Hey,” she grumbled down the line. What she would give for eight more hours of sleep.

“You sound like shit, mate,” Sam laughed down the phone.

“I got bugger all sleep, that’s why,” Charlie argued.

“You didn’t sleep with her again, did you? Christ, Charlie, I thought you weren’t going to go down that road again?”

“No, I didn’t sleep with her. I just couldn’t sleep. This is all kinds of fucked up, Sam. Jesus, last week I hadn’t seen Emilie Martin for twenty years. Now she’s sleeping in my bloody house and I’m about to fly off to Canada with her. It’s a mind fuck.”

“Yeah, you’re not wrong.”

“And I ended up having a midnight heart-to-heart with Jess.”

“Really? How did that come about?”

“I was in the living room—”

“Listening to jazz and drinking warm honey milk—”

“And suddenly Jess was there. Anyway, I made her a drink and then she started spilling out an apology for everything back in school. Telling me how she should have stood up for me. That she’d tried to tell Emilie it wasn’t me who went to the press, yada, yada.”

“Wow, how do you feel about all that?”

“Well, I appreciate it. I could have used someone back then. It hurts to know Emilie didn’t believe Jess either. She was so focused on blaming me.”

“You need to hash it out with her, Char. I know you had that chat in the toilets at Pickerton, but I don’t think it was enough, do you?”

“Deffo not, buddy. The thing is, Sammy, I need to be professional. When all’s said and done, she’s hiring S.C. Photography. I can’t make it all about me and her.”

“Obviously, but you can separate the two, Charlie.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think Jess is after something?”

“What?”

“Don’t play daft, Charlie. That woman wants to bang you ten ways to Sunday. Just be careful, alright.”

“I’m not interested in Jess. I think we can be friends.” Did Charlie believe what she was saying? Jess had made it clear she wanted Charlie for more than friendship at the gala and with the way she’d looked at her through their dinner together yesterday. Surely Jess’s apology wasn’t to get in Charlie’s good graces so she could make a move?

“So, when do you fly out?”

Charlie appreciated the conversation change. “Tonight, at eight.”

“Packed?”

“Yeah, you know I travel light. How’s Anna?”

“Still horny,” Sam laughed. “I’m thinking of buying Red Bull in bulk.”

“Toy play, that’s what you need. If you haven’t got the energy to bang all the time, buy some gadgets that will get her there just as well as you can.”

“I’m not being replaced by silicone, thank you very much. No way.”

“You’re the one bitching about being tired.”

“I’m allowed to bitch. It’s your job to listen.”

“Alright, alright, keep your knickers on. Anyway, I’m going to grab some breakfast and do some exercise.”

“It still shocks the shit out of me to know you’re exercising on purpose.”

Charlie rolled her eyes. Yes, she hadn’t always liked exercise. In fact, she detested it. It was only after having an hour lecture from Sam that she’d agreed to do yoga. Turned out, she was pretty good at it and enjoyed the benefits. She would never admit that to Sam.

“Yeah, yeah. Right, mate, I’ll call you when we land. Give Anna and my nibbling a kiss from me.”

“Will do, Char. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Chatting with Sam always made Charlie feel better. At least her head felt clearer. Throwing on her yoga shorts and tank, Charlie headed to the living room. For a split second, she forgot there were other people in the house. Seeing Emilie sitting on the sofa nearly gave her a second coronary. “Jesus,” she hissed.

“Morning. Sleep well?” Emilie asked, smiling.

“Nope, but never mind. I was…well, I was going to do some yoga,” Charlie said, pointing to her TV like an idiot.

“Well, don’t let me stop you,” Emilie grinned. Good God. How the hell was she supposed to concentrate with Emilie watching her? No, scratch that, with Emilie and Jess watching her. Jess walked in and plonked herself on the sofa next to Emilie.

“Do you want to do it with me?” Charlie threw the question at both women, who simultaneously shook their heads, declining her offer. Wonderful.

Throughout the entire forty-minute class, Charlie felt two pairs of eyes on her. She could have sworn Emilie had gasped when she’d moved into downward dog.

Finally, the session ended. Charlie was a sweaty mess, but not all the heat she felt was from exercise. Knowing Emilie was watching her was a massive turn-on.

“I’m just going to shower,” she mumbled. Both Emilie and Jess nodded silently, their cheeks a little pink.

How in the hell was she going to survive this? What was she thinking? Pulling herself from her wandering mind, Charlie slipped under the shower. Without overthinking, she pleasured herself until release. If she was going to have to spend time with Emilie, she was going to make damn sure she wasn’t horny when doing it.

The shower was soothing, but only for her sore muscles. Grabbing the towel from the back of the door, Charlie was surprised to see Jess standing in the now open doorway.

“Oh, shit, sorry,” Jess mumbled, but made no attempt to leave. Charlie stood, towel in hand, stark naked.

“No worries,” Charlie replied. She wasn’t shy about her body. There was no need to overreact to another human seeing her sans clothing, but she wished Jess would sod off. “Um, Jess, could you—” Charlie pointed to the door indicating Jess should leave.

“Right, of course.”

“Jess, what are you doing?” Oh good, Emilie had joined them. Charlie watched her eyes dart from Jess to her naked body, and back again, several times.

“Jess was just leaving.”

“Total mistake on my part,” Jess mumbled as she reversed out of the bathroom. Emilie stood for a moment longer before departing, too. Letting the towel slip to the floor, Charlie massaged her temples. The conversation with Sam swam in her mind. There was no way Jess had “accidentally” entered her bathroom. It was an ensuite for fuck’s sake. Sam was right, Jess wasn’t just being friendly. Charlie felt like an idiot for believing everything Jess had said last night was because of genuine remorse. It was looking more likely she was just trying to get into Charlie’s knickers.

Why did it feel like she was still in high school? She should have left them all behind when she had the chance. No luck now, though. She was committed to work for Emilie. Distance—that’s what she needed. Taking a step back was the sensible option. She’d make sure she and Emilie would discuss the past and then she would move on. Leave it at that.

Ten

T oday had been a day and it was only eleven in the morning. Emilie had gone from elation to pure anger in the space of a few hours. Everything about yesterday evening had been perfect. Okay, not totally perfect, but as close as it could get.

Charlie seemed to loosen up as the evening progressed. The conversation had been fun and all three of them relaxed. As far as Emilie was concerned, their new relationship was off to a brilliant start. Should she call it a relationship? Maybe not. They were getting to know each other again, nothing more. Yet.

So, imagine Emilie’s shock and confusion when she entered the kitchen last night to grab some water, only to be met with Charlie and Jess in an embrace. Not wanting to get caught looking, Emilie had retreated to the guest bedroom, feeling sick to her stomach. What had she missed? Since when was Charlie interested in Jess? What was Jess playing at? She was supposed to be Emilie’s best friend. Safe to say, Emilie got hardly any rest after that. Suddenly, the bed had seemed too big. She felt as if she were drowning in her loneliness.

As dawn broke, Emilie had already taken a shower, eaten breakfast, and settled on the couch, pleased that neither Charlie nor Jess had woken up. No matter what she did, she couldn’t get the image of Jess draped over Charlie, out of her mind. Was this revenge? Was Charlie going to punish her for the past by getting with her best friend? No, surely not. The Charlie she knew would never play those games.

This wasn’t the Charlie that she knew, though, was it? No, she couldn’t bring herself to believe it. There had to be an explanation, and Emilie promised to ask Charlie before coming to the wrong conclusion. She’d done that before and ruined something wonderful.

What she needed was a distraction. Planning a few small gigs would provide that. Emilie had been telling the truth when she told Charlie and Jess she wanted to give back to her local community. Those people had nurtured her and supported her when she needed it the most. Doing something special for them was the least she could do.

Pulling out her phone, Emilie used the map app to locate her cabin. There were only a handful of local towns, all of which she had performed in when she’d started out. Five in total. Jess was right in saying Jack was going to lose his shit. He did not like it when Emilie went off script and so far, she’d done it twice. First, by inviting Charlie to stay with her, and second, by planning these gigs.

It didn’t matter. Jack could throw a tantrum all he wanted. This was something Emilie wanted to do, and by God, she’d earned the right to choose her own concerts. Shaking her head, Emilie got down to business, jotting notes on her phone. The sound of bare feet on the wooden floor pulled her attention. Emilie wanted to groan out loud when Charlie walked towards her in sexy yoga shorts, a tight tank, and her hair whipped up in a messy bun. It wasn’t fair, really. The universe shouldn’t be allowed to make someone as stunning as Charlie. Those tattoos! Fuck, Emilie would never tire of looking at them. What a shame she couldn’t see the other works of art she knew lay beneath those clothes.

The conversation between them was lost on her. They conversed, sure, but if anyone were to ask what they’d said, she wouldn’t have been able to repeat any of it. All she knew was that she wanted to watch Charlie do yoga. She wanted nothing more in this world.

The fantasy was dulled somewhat when Jess sat next to her, intending on doing the exact same thing. Forty blissful and orgasm-inducing minutes later, Emilie was about to combust. Did Charlie know what she was doing to her? She’d tried her hardest to keep her lust hidden, but when Charlie shifted into downward dog, Emilie knew she’d let out a gasp. Charlie’s ass was phenomenal! Sharp images of Emilie grasping that backside swam into view. Oh, yes, the night of the gala had been eye opening. Emilie would pay good money to get her hands on that ass again, especially if it meant Charlie was grinding on her.

“Em?”

Was someone talking to her? “Hm?”

“Charlie’s gone for a shower. I’m going to put the kettle on. You want a tea?”

Right, yes, she couldn’t just sit fantasizing all day. Had Charlie spoken to her? Damn, she needed to get a grip. “Tea, yeah, thanks.” Emilie watched Jess leave. She’d been so distracted watching Charlie, she’d forgotten that she was very pissed at Jess. They needed to talk.

Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Jess round the corner and disappear down the hall. Call it intuition or a gut feeling; either way, Emilie knew she should follow Jess and see what she was up to. There was no sign of her in the room she’d slept in last night or the one Emilie had been in. Was she in Charlie’s? Cautiously, Emilie entered Charlie’s room. Everything in her body wanted to stop and peruse, but the sight of Jess inside Charlie’s ensuite, where Charlie was standing naked, stopped that thought in its tracks.

Emilie remembered calling Jess’s name and she remembered Jess making a lame excuse before leaving. She also remembered staring for far too long at Charlie before removing herself from the situation. A red mist ascended over her mind. If she confronted Jess now, she’d likely rip her head off. Before she did or said anything she would come to regret, she needed to calm down.

Emilie prided herself on being a reasonable person. It was rare for her to lose it, and she wasn’t about to do it now. Storming through the apartment, Emilie stomped to the front door. It was too early for anyone to be at work downstairs, but she found the main doors unlocked.

Carol must be here somewhere .

The sun was bright, but the air was frigid when she stepped out of the manor. Shit, she hadn’t put on a coat. Well, she couldn’t go and get one now, not without running into someone, and that would be extremely counterproductive to her wellbeing…or theirs. If Charlie and Jess were fucking, Emilie was going to have to address it now. There was no way she was going to be a third wheel; no way she could spend time with Charlie, knowing there was no chance for them. Not in her own home.

The front of Bowman Manor was pretty, but nothing compared to the back garden. The term “garden” didn’t do it justice, though. The area was perfectly landscaped. Ornate hedges were trimmed into complex sculptures. A water fountain bubbled away in the middle, surrounded by a gavel pathway that was so discreet, it didn’t look as if it was really there. Everything had been expertly planned to look and feel like a magical secret garden. The pièce de résistance were the rose bushes. Apart from Charlie’s arms, Emilie had never seen roses so vibrant or diverse. There seemed to be every colour under the sun surrounding the back of the manor.

Does Charlie tend to them?

“They’re not my handiwork.” Charlie’s smooth voice startled Emilie. She’d been so lost in the garden’s wonder; she hadn’t heard Charlie approach. Not even the crunch of gravel had alerted her.

“Are these your grandma’s roses?” Emilie knew all about Estelle’s famous roses. Charlie had recounted many a fond memory to Emilie of her time spent in the garden with her grandmother. Although, if memory served, it was in a care home garden, not the manor’s.

“Yup. They were a little neglected until I took over ownership of the property. Unfortunately, I didn’t really inherit my grandmother’s green thumb. I mostly spent my time feeling the petals and sniffing them,” Charlie laughed. “I have a gardener now, who is as enthusiastic about roses as she was. He does a fab job. I hope wherever grandma is, she knows her roses are in safe hands.”

A lump formed in Emilie’s throat. Sometimes when Charlie spoke, she was so deep and emotional; it took a minute to digest what she said.

“They look gorgeous. Just like your tattoos.”

“Oh, yeah, Max is a genuine artist. He captured what I wanted, perfectly.”

The conversation lulled awkwardly.

Why have you followed me, Charlie?

“Are you packed?” It was the worst attempt at small talk ever. Emilie cringed inwardly. Charlie wasn’t stupid. She could always read Emilie well. Surely, she’d picked up on Emilie’s mood, especially after practically sprinting out of the manor the way she did.

“I don’t know why Jess was in my bathroom. I didn’t invite her.” At least Charlie was straight to the point. She was never one to beat around the bush. Emilie felt herself heat at her inappropriate thoughts. Charlie definitely knew how to beat around her bush!

Jesus, Em, grow up.

“I have to say it was a surprise, especially after witnessing you both last night.”

“What do you mean? Witnessing what?” Charlie scrunched her eyebrows together.

“I went to grab some water and walked in on you two in an embrace.” God, how she wished she could erase that image from her brain.

“We weren’t embracing , Em. She hugged me after she apologised for the way she acted in school. That was it. End of!”

“What did Jess have to apologise for?” Why was Jess inserting herself into their past? Emilie was the only one that needed to make amends.

“She said she should have been there for me. Apparently, she tried to convince you I hadn’t sold you out.”

Emilie’s anger boiled. Jess had said nothing of the sort. “That’s what she said, huh?” Emilie wasn’t going to expose Jess’ lie. That could wait until they were alone together.

“Is that not what happened?” Charlie was studying Emilie closely.

“Maybe I just remember things differently. It doesn’t matter now.”

“Really?” Charlie cocked her eyebrow. Why was every sexy woman on the planet able to wield their eyebrows like that?

“Really. Do you want to take a walk around your enormous garden with me?” Jess could wait. Everything could wait. Finally, Emilie had a chance to spend some alone time with Charlie and she wasn’t going to waste it.

“I’d love to, but shouldn’t you go grab a coat? It’s Baltic out here.”

Emilie rolled her eyes dramatically. “You are such a lightweight, Charlie Baxter. You do know the winters in Quebec are a little harsher than here, right? I’m talking lower than minus ten in December. Even colder in January.”

“Oh, I’m sorry I don’t have the constitution of a fucking polar bear, Em. Still, it doesn’t mean you should tempt fate by walking around in the cold without a coat. That’s just inviting trouble. I know you, Emilie Martin. You turn into a massive pain in the arse when you get sick.”

“Hey,” Emilie protested.

“Oh, please, as if you can argue!” Charlie scoffed, tilting her head to the side, waiting for Emilie to respond. Emilie wasn’t going to. Charlie had her. She was, in fact, the worst person when sick.

“Fine, I’ll admit I can be difficult.”

“Go grab your coat and we’ll take a walk.”

Emilie grinned as she passed Charlie to head back inside.

As the manor grew smaller in the rearview mirror, Emilie sighed. She was going to miss that place. It wasn’t as if she had stayed there long, but even a short time had given her a clear insight into Charlie’s life, and she liked what she saw. Charlie had grown to be a kind, funny, and interesting woman. Putting Charlie’s ridiculously good looks to one side, her character was just as stunning.

The walk in the garden had been wonderful. They hadn’t hashed out any more of their past. That was still to come. Instead, they’d asked silly questions about each other, listened to stories, and laughed at shared memories. There was hope for them. Emilie could taste it.

The car ordered to take Emilie, Jess, and Charlie to the private airport whizzed through traffic easily. Normally, Emilie would take the travel time to go through emails, check in with Jack, and do all the stuff she hated. Not this time, though. Instead, she kept up a light conversation with Charlie. Jess had been unusually quiet, which spoke volumes in Emilie’s mind.

“Jesus, is that yours?” Charlie blurted when the car pulled into a hangar that housed Emilie’s private jet.

“Yup, that’s mine. Don’t get me wrong, I have no issue travelling commercial, but sometimes I need the privacy the jet affords me.”

“Sod commercial, Em.” Charlie laughed, scrambling out of the car. “She’s a beauty.” Without waiting, Charlie skipped to the plane’s steps and rushed inside, causing Emilie to laugh. Charlie was never one to dampen her enthusiasm. Well, not around Emilie anyway. In school, Charlie would reserve this kind of excitement for Emilie’s company only. It seemed grown-up Charlie was a lot freer with herself now.

“Em, you’ve got a bedroom,” Charlie shouted from somewhere inside. Emilie laughed harder, and even Jess cracked a smile.

Emilie left her driver to collect their luggage. Charlie was nowhere in sight when she finally stepped on board. As usual, she was greeted by Inga, the flight attendant. Inga had been with Emilie for six years and she was fantastic. That woman could anticipate Emilie’s needs before she knew what she needed herself.

“Evening, Emilie. Did you have a pleasant break?” Emilie insisted everyone call her by her first name.

“Oh, yes, Inga, thank you. We had a blast.”

“Excellent. I’ve set you up on the couch. There is a bottle of Champagne open. I poured three glasses and set out snacks. You have a little time before takeoff, so relax.”

Emilie smiled warmly at Inga and squeezed her upper arm in appreciation. Jess had already flopped herself on the couch, picking up a bowl of nuts from the table.

“Charlie?” Emilie called. There was a scuffle of movement before Charlie poked her head around the toilet door.

“Your toilet is massive. Not the actual loo, but the space. I bet you’ve had some fun in here,” Charlie said, waggling her eyebrows. Emilie went scarlet. No, she had never done anything of the sort in the plane’s toilet, but now she was thinking about it.

“Stop inspecting the lavatory and come have some Champagne.”

Charlie didn’t need much arm twisting. As the attendants worked, Emilie, Jess, and Charlie settled down with their drinks.

“Cheers everyone, here’s to a fun and productive break.” Emilie held her glass up in cheers.

“Em, that was a terrible speech,” Charlie clucked. “Here’s to new adventures and getting into trouble.”

Rolling her eyes playfully, Emilie swallowed her drink.

“I’m going to stick my headphones on if that’s cool. I don’t like takeoffs,” Charlie said a few minutes after Inga informed them they would start taxiing to the runway.

“Go for it,” Emilie replied. This was the opportunity she needed to talk to Jess. Once she was sure Charlie couldn’t hear anything but her playlist, Emilie pulled on Jess’s sleeve, directing her to follow.

Emilie sat in one of the large comfy chairs behind Charlie. Jess followed and sat next to her, looking uneasy.

“What’s up?” Jess asked. It irked Emilie. She hated it when people tried to act as if they had no idea what was going on.

“Want to tell me what’s going on? First, you’re flirting with Charlie at the ball, then I find you all over her in the kitchen last night, then you’re in her bathroom while she’s naked. I mean, really, Jess, you have to ask what’s up?”

Jess shifted uncomfortably. “Okay, I’m sorry for flirting. I just couldn’t help myself. I mean, shit, Em, have you seen her? She’s not the girl I remember.”

“Of course I’ve seen her, Jess,” Emilie spat. “But this isn’t just some girl from school. This is Charlie. You know how I feel about her—how I’ve always felt—and you’re what? Hoping to get in her pants?”

“No, of course not. Look, I shouldn’t have flirted. As for the ‘finding me all over her’, it wasn’t like that at all, I swear. You’re not the only one who feels bad for how things played out back then, Emilie. Alright, the main issue was between you two, but I should have stood up for her more. She was nice enough and didn’t deserve the way you and the others treated her.”

Emilie wanted to strangle Jess. How dare she act so high and mighty? Jess had never shown the slightest interest in Charlie, even when Emilie and Charlie were a couple. So, all because Charlie had grown into a hot-as-hell woman, Jess now felt she could get on her high horse.

“Where was this attitude back then? You never said a word. And I do not appreciate you telling Charlie that you tried to talk me around. That’s horseshit and you know it.”

“No, it’s not. I told you I thought it wasn’t Charlie. You were just too blinded by rage to listen.” They were both breathing heavily. This was possibly the first time in their friendship that they were close to blowing up at each other.

“And the bathroom this morning?”

“It was a genuine mistake. I went in to ask Charlie for a towel so I could use the other shower. I really had no idea she’d be standing naked. I swear, Em. I’m not trying to be underhanded, and I am sorry for acting the way I have. Charlie is a friend. That’s it. I would never do that to you.”

Emilie studied Jess’s face. Over the years, she’d gotten pretty good at sussing out lies and deceit. Unfortunately, it came with the job. Jess had been nothing but true to their friendship. Could she still trust that now?

Eleven

T ravelling by private jet was something Charlie could definitely get used to. Seriously, it was awesome. The leather seats were like marshmallows. The carpet was so thick it was bouncy, and the toilet…probably not something Charlie should be so excited about, to tell the truth, but it was an opulent bog!

Flying was never something Charlie overly enjoyed. She didn’t hate it, but there was always that sliver of fear hanging in the background of her mind. Knowing she was so far from the ground was unnerving. Surely that was natural, though. It’s not like humans were born to fly. No wings and all that. Charlie’s mind was going off on a tangent.

Back to reality, which was funny because her current reality was so beyond her norm. Jazz belted out through her earphones. The plane had successfully taken off and she could feel her queasy tummy settle. It was weird. She never felt like that on the landing.

Inga, the very friendly attendant, stopped by to tell them that the seatbelt sign had been shut off. Snapping open the buckle, Charlie peered round to the seats behind her. Jess and Emilie were looking a little tense. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why.

The events of last night and this morning still played on Charlie’s mind. Jess had crossed a line coming into her bathroom. There wasn’t a real excuse for her to have been there. Jess had apologised and given a frankly lame excuse about towels, but not wanting to rock the boat, Charlie had accepted it and moved on. By the look on Emilie’s face, she wasn’t being so forgiving.

“The takeoff wasn’t so bad,” Charlie said, hoping to break whatever was going on between Emilie and Jess.

“Grant is an excellent pilot. Always smooth sailing,” Emilie replied a little too sweetly. Charlie recognised that as her I’m pissed but can’t show it voice.

“So, what should we do for the next seven hours?”

“Whatever you want. There’s plenty of booze. A TV with all the streaming services. If you want to sleep, you can use my bedroom.”

“I might nap later. How about we go through some of my work? Would be good to dial in on what you want from me…job-wise, I mean.” That hadn’t come out how she wanted it to at all.

“Sure, let’s move to the sofa.” Emilie unbuckled herself and scooted past Jess, who smiled tightly at Charlie.

“Jess, you want to join us?” Charlie asked. The last thing she wanted was any more hostility. Jess and Emilie had been friends forever, and Charlie hated she was coming between them.

“Nah, I’m going to get some sleep. Thanks, though.”

Taking that as her cue to leave, Charlie grabbed her iPad and sat next to Emilie. She had to address the elephant in the room. The thing was fucking huge.

“You guys okay?” Charlie mumbled.

“We will be. Now let’s take a look at your stunning work.”

They spent the best part of an hour going through Charlie’s portfolio. The work was good, Charlie knew, especially the projects she’d done with a few bands. None of them had Emilie’s status, but she’d still done a fab job. Charlie loved the atmosphere of shooting photos at gigs. The energy given out by the crowd was intoxicating.

Over her career, Charlie had lost count of the number of pictures she’d captured that reflected how the crowd affected a band or individual artist. Flipping to her favourite piece, Charlie pointed to the singer’s face. “Look at that. You can feel that she’s in the zone. God, that night was epic. The venue wasn’t huge, but it was packed. Trip, the singer, had the crowd eating out of the palm of her hand. She was so captivating. I snagged this picture as the crowd chanted her name. Look at her face. She’s basking in their adoration.”

“It’s why we do it,” Emilie said, looking closely at the picture. “There is nothing in this world like the energy of an audience. You must remember, Char, we had a few concerts that were wild.”

“Wild? Ha, I don’t think I’d say wild. We were teens. We didn’t know what being wild was! Oh, we thought we were the dog’s bollocks, but we most definitely weren’t,” she laughed. “I’ve been to gigs that were wild. This gig was wild,” Charlie replied, pointing back to the picture.

“I still think we did okay back then. We had a little fan base. You have to admit, it was addictive. That feeling we got just before going on stage.”

“Yeah, I’ll give you that. I didn’t miss it, though. When I stopped playing, I didn’t miss the shows.”

“That’s sad to hear, Charlie.”

“Not really. My love of music was always different to yours, Em. You thrived on the concerts. It was your dream to be a star. I just wanted to bash some piano keys.”

“Well, you bashed them beautifully,” Emilie laughed. “I hope you’ll play for me when we get home. I have a wonderful piano just begging to be used.”

Charlie took a moment. Her first instinct was to rebuff the offer. That had been her modus operandi for so long, it came as second nature now. But that’s not what she wanted anymore. Sitting and playing the piano was a gift, one that she desperately wanted to reclaim. Honestly, she felt foolish that she’d given up something she loved so much because her adolescent brain had linked it permanently to Emilie.

“I might have a little go,” she grinned. “I can’t wait to see your music room.”

“How do you know I have one?” Emilie smirked.

“How do I know the sun will rise in the morning or the tide will ebb and flow? It’s inevitable, Emilie. You without a music room would be like Mr Eccleton without his bushy hair.”

Emilie barked out loud at the comparison.

Seven hours can pass pretty quickly when having fun, and that was exactly what happened. Before Charlie knew it, the captain was announcing they would be landing shortly. Charlie and Emilie had spent hours chatting. It was just like in the garden, back at Bowman Manor. They were learning about each other and getting to know each other as adults who had led such different lives. They flirted mildly, but it never went beyond that.

“Shitting hell, it’s freezing!” Charlie exclaimed as she deplaned the jet. The icy wind slapped her around the face as soon as she’d stepped out of the comfort of the cabin and onto the metal stairs. Maybe she should have worn more layers.

Wrapping her coat tightly around her body, she leapt down the steps and jumped straight into the back of the waiting car. “You are here for Emilie, right?” she asked the driver. Hopefully, she hadn’t just hijacked someone’s ride.

“Yes, ma’am,” the driver replied.

“Nope, never call me that again, mate. Charlie will do, ta.” The driver grinned and nodded. Charlie willed her body to heat up.

“Doing okay, Charlie?” Jess laughed as she climbed in, taking the seat opposite.

“Oh yeah, fab. I am seriously worried about the clothes I brought. I’m going to freeze to death.”

“I told you to bring your warmest clothes,” Emilie called from the boot of the car.

“I did, but you’re seriously underestimating my wardrobe, woman. I have, like, four outfits. Black jeans, band shirts, and like, three jumpers. I packed my entire wardrobe.”

“Why the hell didn’t you say anything? We could have stopped off and bought you some appropriate attire. You look like an icicle,” Emilie groaned, climbing into the car. “Mark, put the heating up to full. We need to thaw this one out.”

“I hope your house is warm.” Charlie’s teeth chattered as she spoke. Where had all her body heat gone?

“Come here,” Emilie said, yanking Charlie into her side.

“If I die of hyperthermia, I am going to be pissed,” Charlie barked, causing Emilie and Jess to laugh.

“You are so dramatic. We’ll get you warm again. Tomorrow I’ll send out for some clothes. How do you feel about thermal underwear?” Emilie giggled.

“I feel fantastic about it. Can I have a set with the flap thing on the arse, like the ones in the movies?” Charlie was sincere in her request.

“If you want a butt flap, Char, I’ll get you a butt flap,” Emilie grinned. Jess shook her head, laughing.

Halfway through the car journey, Charlie could feel her face again. Even though she was warmer, she didn’t move away from Emilie’s body.

“Ah, thank God, I can feel my limbs again,” she sighed.

“I cannot believe you thought a few jumpers would be enough. I get you like the whole rock chic thing, but really Charlie, the weather here isn’t to be laughed at.”

“Are you scolding me right now, Em?” Charlie laughed. “I didn’t do it on purpose. The clothes you see really are all I own. I’ve been wearing the same things for twenty-five years. It’s not about style but comfort.”

“Comfort? How comfortable were you half an hour ago?” Emilie shot back. Charlie was a little confused by her attitude.

“Whoa, alright, take it down a notch. Sorry it didn’t occur to me to prepare for the fucking Arctic Circle. Why are you getting so bent out of shape?”

“Because I don’t want anything to happen to you. The cold is no joke,” Emilie shot. Charlie laid her hand on Emilie’s thigh, stroking small circles, which used to calm Emilie down. Charlie hoped it still worked.

“Sorry. I promise next time I will wear layer upon layer of thermal clothing. Please don’t be mad at me.” Charlie saw Emilie’s body relax.

“I’m not mad, Charlie. I just want you to be safe.”

“And I am. Look, you warmed me right up.” They looked at each other for a beat too long. No matter how much Charlie tried to keep that invisible barrier between them erect, Emilie had a way of toppling it with just a look.

“Two minutes out, Emilie,” Mark, the driver, announced. Charlie was grateful for the interruption. Peering out the window, Charlie did a double take when they rounded the corner and were presented with Emilie’s cabin.

“Holy shitballs, Batman, that’s your cabin?” Charlie shouted. Was there nothing in Emilie’s world that wasn’t massive and luxurious?

“Home sweet home,” Emilie sang.

Shoving her beanie over her head, Charlie grumbled as she left the warmth of the car. There was no way she would ever get used to this kind of cold. At least her trusty Doc Martens protected her feet from the freshly settled snow. If she were in a better—warmer—mood, Charlie might have stopped to take in the Christmas card-worthy scene she was currently standing in. But no, there was no time for dilly-dallying. Not when her nipples were freezing off her chest.

Rushing into the cabin, Charlie nearly dropped to her knees and thanked every goddess out there that the space was so well heated. With her body happily warmed, Charlie looked around. It was safe to say her jaw nearly hit the floor. The cabin was gorgeous. Just like Charlie’s place, the cabin had a delicate balance of old and new. It was a traditional old hunting lodge, but perfectly paired with modern twists. Thankfully, there were no dead animal heads hanging on the wall, so at least she would sleep at night. Who the hell wanted beady eyes staring at them all day and night? No, ma’am, not this chick.

“So…?” Emilie stood by the closed door. Jess was already hiking her bag up the cabin stairs.

“Wow, I mean, wow, Em. This is beautiful.” Similar to the cottage in Pickerton, the cabin was open plan. The large kitchen fed into the living room that was warmed by a huge open fire.

“Come on, I’ll show you to your room. It’s been a long day. I think we should get some sleep and start the tour tomorrow.”

Charlie followed Emilie up the stairs and into a bedroom she presumed was her new lodging for the foreseeable future. Yeah, she definitely needed some shut eye because tomorrow the adventure began.

What the fuck is that? Is it raining indoors?

Why was Charlie’s face wet? Her mind whirred as she cracked open her eyelid. Something slimy smacked her square in the face.

“Jesus,” she moaned, swiping at her face. Suddenly a warm tongue plastered her entire face. Dragging her hands down her cheeks to wipe away the offending goo, Charlie opened her eyes fully, only to be confronted with a large, and very wet, black nose.

“I take it you’re Spud,” she muttered to the dog that was staring at her with wonder. Another long swipe of a tongue caused Charlie to giggle. Dogs were the best.

“Get off, you brute,” she laughed. Instead of obeying, Spud lay prone on Charlie’s body, shoving her face in Charlie’s.

“Spud, come on girl, where are you?” Emilie called from down the hall.

“I think your mum’s looking for you,” Charlie said. Spud wagged her tail enthusiastically but didn’t move.

“Eeeem,” Charlie shouted. Spud didn’t look like she was going to move anytime soon. Side note, though, the dog was super warm. Charlie was definitely stealing her at night.

Furry water bottle sorted .

“Charlie?” A light tapping resonated through the door before it creaked open.

“Em, I think your dog has taken a liking to me,” Charlie laughed.

“Oh my God, Spud, bad girl, get down this instant!” Spud looked back at Emilie and ignored her.

“Spud, now!” Emilie growled. Charlie burst out laughing as the dog continued to ignore Emilie, focusing solely on Charlie. Her cute eyes shone with excitement. She was clearly over the moon at the prospect of having a new friend.

“Charlie, I am so sorry. She never disobeys me.” Emilie strode over and picked Spud up, setting her down next to the bed. Emilie froze, looking down at Charlie. Oh, right, she’d fallen asleep naked, and her girls were showing. A smirk etched itself on Charlie’s face. Emilie was making no bones about the fact she was looking at Charlie’s nipple bars.

Yeah, she likes those, if I remember well .

“How’s the view?” Charlie asked.

Emilie’s eyes snapped to hers. Instead of embarrassment, Charlie saw a tinge of defiance. “Well, if you’re going to parade them, I’m going to look.”

Charlie chuckled. She’d do exactly the same. “What time is it?” Charlie was completely disoriented. She certainly wasn’t used to being woken by dog kisses.

“Almost nine-thirty. You can sleep longer if you want. Jetlag is a bitch.”

“No way, I’ve got exploring to do. Although, I will need some clothes. My faithful band tees aren’t going to cut it this time.”

“Already sorted. I’ve got a bunch of clothes waiting for you. Grab a shower and I’ll leave them on the bed. Breakfast will be ready in ten and then we can start the day.”

“Why couldn’t you have been this accommodating back in the day?” Charlie laughed. “The number of times you shoved me out of bed to grab you breakfast from the cafeteria was ridiculous.”

“Hey, I made it up to you tenfold,” Emilie smiled. Yeah, she had. Every time Charlie came back with a bagel, Emilie always thanked her with oral. Ah, to be sixteen and horny.

“Are you expecting me to thank you for my breakfast in the same way, Emilie?”

Whoa stop! What are you doing? Warning, warning, danger! Stop thinking with your crotch!

“I hadn’t thought of that,” Emilie winked. “Not this time, though. Too much to do. Come on, Spud, let’s go. Ten minutes, Charlie. Don’t wash your hair, we haven’t got time.”

Charlie stuck her tongue out. A big downside of very long hair was the time it took to wash and dry.

Eleven minutes later, Charlie strolled into the kitchen. The pile of pancakes set her mouth watering. Spud sat by Emilie’s feet, watching her every move. Was she hoping for a bit of food to magically fall to the floor? Yes. Was Spud getting what she wanted? No. Smiling at the expectant pooch, Charlie hopped on to one of the many stools.

“Do you like to entertain people at breakfast, Em? This is a lot of stools!”

“Is it? There are only eight.”

“Sorry, my bad. Eight kitchen stools is a totally reasonable number to have.”

“I’ve just made you pancakes, and you’re in here busting my ass about the number of stools in my kitchen?”

“Just saying,” Charlie mumbled through a mouthful of pancake. “Oh, yeah, now these are delicious.” Fresh fluffy pancakes, the only thing that would make it better would be—

“Maple bacon. I cooked plenty, so tuck in.”

“You’re perfect,” Charlie whispered. Either Emilie hadn’t heard, or she ignored Charlie’s slip up.

“Ok, once you’re done, we’ll head out for a walk with Spud. I can’t wait for you to see…everything!” Emilie beamed.

“Me either. Is Jess joining us?” Charlie had almost forgotten Jess had stayed over last night. It was way too easy to get lost in the fantasy of her and Emilie.

“No, Jess headed out already. Her house isn’t too far. I’m sure she’ll stop by soon. Honestly, it does us good to have some time away. We already live in each other’s pockets for months on end. When I’m home, I like my privacy and space.”

“Hey, say the word, Em, and I’ll make myself scarce. I can start planning shots and stuff, now I have an idea of what you’re looking for. I don’t want to get in the way.”

“Charlie, stop. I invited you here. I want to be around you. Yes, I know you’re going to be working, but I want us to connect again. We can’t get back the time that’s passed, but we can start again. I want you with me.”

Emilie’s frank statement left Charlie spinning. Nothing she’d said was a surprise, but now she was here, in Emilie’s life. It was real. After twenty years, she would reconnect with Emilie. What that meant, she wasn’t sure.

Twelve

E milie rejoiced at the sound of snow crunching underfoot. The smell of pine in the air rid her body of months and months of stress. Finally, she was home. Finally, she could completely relax.

Walking through the forest was so calming. Spud ran around, unable to contain her joy. Squirrels beware , Emilie thought. It was laughable, because if Spud ever caught one, Emilie was certain she’d lick it to death rather than harm it. The pooch was just a barrel of love.

The sun shone through the trees; the air was chilly and there was a decent amount of snow on the ground, but it didn’t matter, Emilie loved all of it. Charlie, on the other hand? So far, Emilie had laughed more in the last forty-eight hours than she had in the past six months. Charlie was just too much. Turning round to make sure Charlie was keeping up, Emilie had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing again. Poor, frozen Charlie.

Dragging up the rear of their threesome, Charlie waddled along in the thickest coat ever made. Her pants were insulated, and she wore a scarf so long it wrapped around her a dozen times. Add the thick beanie perched on her head, and all Emilie could see was a pair of vivid green eyes.

“Alright?” Emilie called. Charlie replied, but the words were completely lost in the fabric cocooning her mouth. “Didn’t quite catch that,” Emilie giggled. Taking her gloved hands out of her pockets, Charlie set about pulling at the scarf.

“I said I’m fine,” Charlie grumbled.

“Charlie, we can go back inside if you’re miserable.”

“I’m not miserable. I’m actually quite warm now. I’m sure I resemble the Pillsbury Doughboy, but I’ll own it. I wish I was one of those women who could make winter wear sexy.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know. Cute bobble hat, nice little knitted scarf over a peacoat.”

“You look fine,” Emilie said, trying not to crack up at Charlie’s face.

“You are a shitty liar, Emilie Martin. You, on the other hand, are one of those women. Look at you.” Emilie looked herself up and down. Yeah, she had the thick peacoat, knitted scarf, and bobble hat. Her hair hung down her back.

“That’s only because I’m accustomed to the cold. As soon as your body acclimatizes, you’ll be rocking this outfit in black, I’m sure of it.”

Spud zoomed out of the trees with a stick in her mouth. She ran around Emilie and Charlie several times before running off again.

“Does she want us to throw the stick?” Charlie asked.

“Oh, no, she just likes to do that now and then. It’s her thing. If she ever drops the stick in front of you, it’s a warning there’s a bear close by.”

“I beg your pardon. Did you say bear?” Charlie hissed. Her eyes scanned the trees feverishly. Oh dear, Emilie shouldn’t have dropped that little nugget of information so casually.

“Don’t panic. It’s a rare occurrence. The bears are further north, but they do wander. They’re black bears, not grizzlies. If we see one, we just back up slowly. No drama, okay.”

“I cannot believe you didn’t tell me about bears—”

“Well, honestly, you should be more worried about moose.”

Oh, for the love of beans, Emilie, shut up!

“Moose? Why should I be worried about moose?”

“Erm, they can just be a little aggressive, is all.”

“A little aggr… Emilie, what the hell? Can we go back please? I’m too young to die by moose!”

Not wanting Charlie to freak out any more than she already was, Emilie turned them around to head home. Shame, really, she would have loved another hour in her special place. Looking at Charlie, though, she could still be with her special person, so that would do.

Charlie had practically jogged back to the house, which Spud had thoroughly enjoyed. She thought Charlie was magical, and Emilie couldn’t disagree. They entered the back door and Emilie watched Charlie shed her many, many layers. Underneath all those layers was Charlie’s signature band tee. Under her thick pants was a pair of ripped black jeans. Emilie sighed. She would never tire of Charlie looking so…well, Charlie.

Buzzzz Buzzzz Buzzzz

Yanking her phone out of her pocket, Emilie groaned out loud. The message she’d just received from Jess, warning her Jack was on the warpath, popped her magical little Charlie-filled bubble. Great, she was going to have to talk down an irate Jack. She wasn’t even supposed to be working. Well, not on anything official.

“I think we’re about to get a visitor and he’s going to be pissed. You’ll have to excuse me for a little while.”

“Is it Jack?” Charlie asked, her posture tensing as she spoke.

“Yeah, seems he’s found out I hired you. He really doesn’t like it when I go ‘rogue’.”

“Rogue? Seriously?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, he is my manager. I should take things through him.”

“He doesn’t run your life, Em. Anyway, you didn’t just hire me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you asked me here so we could get to know each other again. That’s a personal matter, Emilie. Fuck all to do with him.”

Emilie batted her toe on the floor. Charlie was right. Jesus, how long had Jack been running her entire life?

“Hey, I can stick around if you want. I bet he won’t be so much of a dick if I’m here. You don’t have to face him alone.”

Emilie wanted to scoop Charlie up into a hug. Even Jess never enjoyed sticking around when Jack went off on one of his rants.

The offer was so tempting, but she needed to sort it out with him alone. It was time she started taking back some control.

“Thanks, but I’ll handle it. Why don’t you take a tour of the house?”

Before Charlie could answer, the doorbell sounded repeatedly.

“Alright, I’ll be upstairs, but I’m a shout away. Don’t put up with his bullshit, Em. Let no one tell you what you can and can’t do.”

Emilie was transported back to their school days, when Charlie would say things like that to her daily. Being a teenager at the time meant that most of the adults in her life liked to tell her what to do, what to say, and how to think. A lot of the time it served their interests instead of Emilie’s. Charlie was the only one who told it to her straight. She encouraged Emilie to forge her own path; trust in her own instincts.

With Charlie safely upstairs, Emilie opened the door to Jack. He didn’t wait for an invitation. He barged right past her and went to the living room, where he began to pace.

“What’s this I hear about you hiring your high school fuck?”

What the hell? That was way over the line. “Would you care to rephrase that, Jack?”

“Oh, come on, Emilie. I know you were hung up on seeing her again, but bringing her back with you, really, after what she did? Surely you can spot an opportunist when you see one.”

“I invited her here as a guest, Jack. This is personal. It’s nothing to do with you, so why, may I ask, are you in my home raging about it?”

“You hired her as your personal photographer, for fuck’s sake. You have one of those already.”

“Yes, but I wanted Charlie for strictly personal photos. No events or award ceremonies. I want to make some memories over the next few months, away from the public, Jack. I asked Charlie if she’d do that. So, I’ll repeat my question: Why are you raging about this?”

“And the gigs you plan to do? Were you going to tell me about them?” Emilie didn’t miss he was dodging her question.

“How did you find out about that? And yes, I was going to tell you. I wanted you to help me. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do, not just give me shit anytime I deviate from your plan?”

“I thought you wanted a break. That’s why you keep saying no to a new album.”

“I do want a break. I want a break from the studios and the touring. I want to get back to simpler times. Me singing for fun. I want to show all those people that supported me in the beginning how much I appreciate it. I just wanted to go to a local pub and sing for them. It’s not a big deal, Jack, so why are you making it into one?”

“I just wish you’d run it by me, Emilie, it’s my job.”

“No, your job is to do what I ask of you. Again, something you keep on forgetting. I can make my own decisions, Jack. You are not my keeper. I want to work with you, but it’s clear that any time I have an original thought, you’re ready to burn it down.”

“I want what’s best for you, Emilie. You are a star, and I want that to continue.”

“For who? Me or you?”

“Hey—”

“No, I have told you for a long time that I needed to slow down for a bit, but you just keep pushing. You tell me it’s for my own good, but I highly doubt it. If you were doing things for my welfare, you would be listening to me and trusting I know myself well enough to make that call.”

Jack stopped pacing, his head dropping to his chest as he let out a giant breath. “You’re right, Em. You are, I’m sorry. I’ll do what I can to help. Tell me what you need.”

Well, this is a quick change of attitude .

“Can you discreetly enquire at the local pubs in the surrounding towns? Ask if they would like a private concert. I don’t want any press, Jack. No advertising, this is strictly personal, okay?”

“Okay, sure. I’ll get on it. Do you want to charge anything?”

“Nope, I just want people to have a good time.”

“I’ll call when I have some dates and venues. Sorry, Em.” With a quick pat on the shoulder, Jack left as quickly as he arrived. The blowup left Emilie exhausted. That was her general feeling nowadays: exhausted.

Taking a few calming breaths, Emilie headed upstairs to find Charlie. She wondered how much she’d heard of the row. After checking most of the rooms, Emilie smiled to herself. Charlie must have found the music room. Stepping quietly, she peered round the open door to find Charlie seated at the white grand piano in the middle of the room.

“Hey,” Emilie said quietly, not wanting to break the silence. Charlie looked so calm and happy.

“Hey, everything sorted?”

“Yeah, finally. I think I got through to him.” Emilie entered the room and took a seat on the piano bench next to Charlie.

“This is a magnificent piano, Em.”

“I thought you’d like it,” Emilie smiled. “Play something for me?” Emilie knew she was probably pushing it, but she couldn’t help it. Charlie was a sight to behold when she tapped those keys. There was nothing more transfixing than watching Charlie lose herself so completely to the music.

“Okay,” Charlie said softly. Emilie knew to be quiet. Charlie had a process. Well, she used to. It was like she was summoning the music and wrapping herself up in it until it consumed her. Charlie was a formidable composer. Most of her creations brought Emilie to tears.

Does she remember them?

Slowly, Charlie rested her fingers over the keys. Emilie held her breath in anticipation. And then it happened… The magic that was Charlotte Munroe. Emilie knew she should say it was the magic of Charlie Baxter, but right in that moment, she saw the genius sixteen-year-old who would blow her mind with music. Charlie was lost, and Emilie watched as she swayed, the emotion of each note playing out over her beautiful face.

Closing her own eyes, Emilie let the melody engulf her. She allowed herself to go on the journey that Charlie was taking. She felt the crushing sadness and the elation as the story unfolded. Tears pricked at her eyes as Charlie played. When the last note rang out, Emilie could have collapsed. Charlie was a master of wringing out every last feeling, stripping Emilie’s emotions bare for the world to see.

Silence descended. Emilie needed a few moments to collect herself. It was always the same after Charlie played. Emilie needed time to soothe her exposed nerves.

Opening her eyes, she looked at Charlie, who stared at the piano keys. “My God, Charlie, you’re still the best.”

Charlie turned to her with a shy smile. “It feels great to play again.” As usual, guilt gripped Emilie’s chest like a vise. Because of her actions, she’d robbed the world of Charlotte Munroe.

“I’m so sorry, Charlie,” she sobbed.

“Hey, hey, whoa, what’s happening right now?” Charlie asked, scooping Emilie into her arms. The guilt got heavier. Why did Charlie have to be so good?

“It crushes me you gave up your passion because of me. I know we’ve talked, but I can’t help feeling guilty.”

“Maybe it’s time we talked again. One argument in a school toilet isn’t really us talking, Em. I think we can do it now, though. Neither of us are as angry as we were, right?”

Emilie nodded. They knew this day would come. They couldn’t brush it under the carpet. “You go first,” Emilie whimpered. Her emotions were way too fried to talk.

“Wow, okay.” Charlie huffed. “First, I don’t want you to carry that guilt about me quitting the piano. That was on me. I was young and ruled by my emotions. I should never have given it up because you hurt me. I just ended up punishing myself.” Charlie turned her body so she was facing Emilie. “What hurt me the most and still does, if I’m honest, is you not trusting me. I could understand your anger. Shit, Em, what the papers wrote about you was terrible. Of course you were hurt, and I could understand you taking it out on me. I was your person.

“I thought, though, that when the shock wore off, you’d see how ridiculous it was to blame me for it. I couldn’t believe you truly thought I would do that to you, not after everything we went through together. I waited for you to calm down. I waited for you to see the truth, but you didn’t, and then you screamed at me in front of everyone. I could have forgiven that if you’d just believed me in the end—if you’d come back to me and talked—but you didn’t. You left and shattered everything we built.”

Charlie rubbed her head and looked down at her lap. Emilie knew everything she’d said was right. Emilie had done all those things, and she felt awful. There was nothing in this world she regretted more than walking away from Charlie.

“I can’t give you a reason, Char. I was just so upset. I felt like my safe haven had been violated. Being at Pickerton with you was my safety, my home, and when those details got printed, I went off the deep end. The days went by in a blur. I honestly couldn’t tell you what happened, only that I had friends telling me it had to have been you. They all knew you were the only one privy to my life before Pickerton. I know a few of them resented you for it. I was lost in this black hole. Everyone around the world knew intimate details about me. The more my friends told me you were to blame, the darker I felt.”

Emilie wiped her face. Tears streamed down each cheek. “I had so many people talking at me. I just lost it when you tried to talk to me and that’s when I screamed at you. I have regretted nothing more in my life than that. It took me weeks to clear myself up, and by that time, I’d ruined us. There was no way I could face you after that. I didn’t deserve your forgiveness, so I left you alone.”

“I didn’t want leaving alone, Em. I just wanted you.”

“I was a coward, Charlie, it’s as simple as that.”

“Do you believe me, that it wasn’t me who called the papers?”

“Oh, Charlie,” Emilie sobbed, “I knew you weren’t lying. I fucked up and blamed you, but I knew in my heart you would never have done it. I’m so sorry, so, so sorry.”

“Shh, shh, come on Em, it’s okay.”

“How can you be so nice?” Emilie cried.

“Because we were kids, and we made mistakes. I should have reached out. I would have if it had happened when we were older. I just didn’t have the emotional maturity back then. We lived in a vacuum, Emilie. Everything was so intense. If we’d been a regular couple, it wouldn’t have blown up like that. We just weren’t capable of fighting all the outside influences. Yes, I wish we could have communicated and worked it out, but maybe we weren’t meant to back then.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, how the hell were we meant to survive as a couple? We had fanciful dreams, but neither of us actually had a clue how we would have made them into a reality. Maybe by breaking up back then, we were given the opportunity to grow and find our own paths. We’ve come back together after twenty years and the attraction and passion are still there, but we’ve also gained experience and, dare I say, a little wisdom. If we were good before, imagine what we could be now.”

“Do you want there to be a now?” Emilie’s heart rate was through the roof. Could she be given the one thing she desired most in the world? Not fame, not fortune, but the love of Charlie Baxter. Was she lucky enough to be offered a second chance?

“Eventually,” Charlie said. Emilie felt Charlie cup her chin, lifting her head so they were face to face. No hiding. “It’s going to take time, Emilie. We have to build trust and we need to keep learning about each other. If we do that, I think we will get to where we both want to be.”

Thirteen

W hen Emilie had fallen silent after Charlie’s heartfelt speech, she was worried maybe Emilie wasn’t as invested in them working things out as Charlie had first thought. Then Emilie kissed her so passionately that all thoughts went out of the window. They sat for a good hour kissing…connecting. Just being surrounded by Emilie was enough.

They promised nothing; they made no plans. Charlie recognised she’d done a one-hundred-and-eighty-degree turnaround on her decision to keep things strictly professional, but that was okay. The great thing about being human was the ability to change one’s mind. She wasn’t going to be stubborn just for the sake of pride. Whatever was happening between her and Emilie was worth exploring.

Maybe it was a sign of their new commitment to each other that they didn’t fall into bed. It would have been so easy to have taken Emilie right there on the piano bench and show her how much Charlie had missed her, but they’d refrained.

A week had passed since that evening in the music room. Something had shifted between them; something profound. Talking openly and honestly had bridged a two-decade-old gap. The relationship was a work in progress, but it was certainly heading in the right direction. Charlie felt comfortable with herself. She reflected on the situation daily, checking in with her thoughts and feelings.

Whenever a question arose, Charlie felt no stress voicing it, and Emilie seemed to have no problem answering it honestly. That’s what had been missing all those years ago. How could two teenagers be expected to deal with such deep emotions?

Their situation at the time had been incomprehensible, and neither of them had good enough role models in their lives to help them wade through all the bullshit. Yes, Charlie was as convinced as ever, that coming back into each other’s lives now, was how it was supposed to be for them. Okay, so she could have done without the complete wreckage that had occurred back then, but, hey, time had passed and she had healed, even more so now.

As well as spending their days talking and getting to know each other, Charlie also wandered around the property—never too far though, because bears!—taking in her new normal. So far, she’d done no official work. The most important thing had been to fix things with Emilie. Now that was well and truly on the way to being completed, Charlie focused on work.

Emilie said she wanted Charlie as her personal photographer. Looking at the sparse walls and empty spaces around the cabin, she could understand why. There were plenty of pictures of Emilie with other celebrities, at award shows, and on magazine covers. There were zero pictures of Emilie with friends and family. Everything in the house celebrated the artist Emilie Martin, but nothing reflected her as a woman; just a regular person with likes and dislikes. Charlie had pictures everywhere in her house. Sure, she had framed photographs she was proud of, but mainly, she had silly pictures of her and Sam. There was a brilliant picture of the whole friendship group out celebrating Kim and Hélène’s engagement. Why didn’t Emilie have those kinds of memories displayed?

“Em, you have like, no pictures of your friends or family around here.” It was a statement; one she hoped wouldn’t upset Emilie.

“I know. Why do you think I hired you?” Emilie laughed.

“But why don’t you have those pictures?”

“Because I’m always working, Char. Everything I do usually ends up as a promotional stunt. I once had a birthday party where I only invited my closest friends. Well, that got busted up when Jack invited all these celebs. The night turned into just another promo party. That’s why I have no private memories. I’m never given the chance to experience them.”

Charlie’s heart raged and broke at the same time. Nothing had changed from when Emilie was a teen. She was still surrounded by arseholes who saw her as a money pit. It was a miracle the woman hadn’t burned out years ago.

“Well, that shit stops now! Get here, we’re having a selfie.” Charlie watched Emilie’s face transform. Her smile was as bright as the sun reflecting off the fresh snow. “And don’t give me that bloody Emilie Martin pose shite. I want fun Em to come out and play.”

Twenty minutes passed, and the poses got sillier and sillier. Poor Spud got roped in and together, the three of them had nearly an album’s worth of daft photos to laugh at.

“Oh my Lord, these are too good, Char!” Emilie giggled.

“I especially like the one with Spud sticking her tongue up your nose,” Charlie laughed.

“Eww, don’t remind me,” Emilie chuckled.

“Okay, so now we’ve made a good start on your private photos. What’s next? What do you want me to capture?”

Emilie sat pondering for a second, which Charlie didn’t mind because it meant she could sit and watch Emilie. Her hair was in its signature messy bun. Charlie loved how Emilie looked so chilled in sweatpants and a band tee, especially because it was one of Charlie’s.

“Everything, I suppose. I know that doesn’t really narrow it down,” she smirked. “I want to be reminded of all the things that bring me happiness and peace. Like the forest. Spud, obviously. You…my friends. Not too bothered about the family part,” she joked. Charlie knew Emilie’s family was a mess. “Although, I would like photos of my uncle.”

“So, these friends, who are we talking about?”

“Gosh, I suppose Jess and Lydia.”

Charlie visibly cringed when Lydia’s name came up.

“I don’t get what the problem is between you pair,” Emilie commented.

“There was never a problem from me, Em, it was all Lydia. She hated me from the very first day she met me, and I have no idea why. I wasn’t strong enough back then to stand up for myself, but now, well, now she can suck a bag of balls.”

“Gross, Char.”

“You asked,” she laughed. “I was going to suggest you have a little party. Just your friends. Have a night to just relax with them, gossip, do whatever you want to do. I know I couldn’t go without my friends for very long.”

“You and Sam are really close, eh?”

“Yeah, she’s like my sister. I was still quite shy by the time I started uni. I put on a brave face, though. Anyway, I met Sam, and she became my roommate. We just hit it off. Sam was like this lesbian superhero in my mind. She could get any woman she wanted because she was confident, but not cocky. She was just happy with herself, and it shone through.

“I think I was able to draw from her strength and I finally found my own confidence. It was liberating. Plus, her mum Sandy, who is this awesome artist, treated me like I was her own kid. Together, they gave me the family I’d been starved of. I would do anything for them.”

“That’s beautiful to hear. I love that story, and I can tell you definitely gained confidence. Jesus, Charlie, when you entered the ball, I think everyone’s jaw hit the deck! That was a power move if I ever saw one,” Emilie laughed.

“Yeah, it was. I was about to meet you again after a fuck ton of time had passed. I was a nervous bag of bones. It was Kim who told me I needed a shit-hot entrance,” Charlie chuckled.

“I can totally see Kim saying that. She’s fierce. I’m not usually intimidated by people, but hell, that woman made me nervous.”

“God, don’t be nervous, honestly. All my friends are awesome. I would love for you to get to know them, and I swear, as soon as Kim knows she doesn’t have to play the protective friend, you are going to see how much she adores you.”

Kim would definitely become Emilie’s number one fan.

“Why don’t we invite them here for a few days, then? I’ll ask Jess and Lydia and you ask your lot. We could have a repeat of the after party.”

“Are you serious?”

“Of course. I said I wanted to get to know you, Charlie. And now I know, to do that, I need to get to know your friends. What do you think? Will they come?”

“I’ll call them now and ask.” Charlie wasted no time pulling up Sam’s number. It would be early evening time in Paris so no reason Sam wouldn’t pick up unless Anna was getting frisky.

“Sammy,” Charlie shouted with excitement.

“Charlie,” Sam returned with just as much enthusiasm. “What’s cooking, mate? You having fun?”

“Yeah, it’s awesome here. I wanted to forward an invitation to you and Anna from Emilie.”

“What kind of invitation?” Charlie could hear Anna in the background questioning Sam.

“Hang on, Anna wants to know what’s going on. I’m putting you on speaker.”

“Hey, Anna, how’s the bump?”

“All good. I’ve stopped feeling nauseous, so that’s a win.”

“What’s this invitation?” Sam asked.

“You’re so impatient. Fine, Emilie wants to know if you fancy coming over here for a few days?”

“Are you being serious?” Anna squeaked, causing Charlie and Emilie to laugh.

“I am very serious, Anna. I would love to get to know you better,” Emilie chimed.

“Am I on speaker, Charlie? Merde , you could have warned me. So sorry, Emilie.”

Charlie cackled. Her friends were ridiculous. “Don’t get your knickers in a bunch. You’re not coming to meet the famous Emilie Martin, you’re coming to meet my dear friend Em, okay?”

“When?” Sam asked. Anna had fallen silent, probably too nervous to speak.

“How about next weekend?” Emilie asked. Charlie nodded. That worked for her.

“Call Kim and extend the offer to her, too. I haven’t got the energy to wrangle her enthusiasm,” Charlie grinned. Kim was going to lose her shit. “Just message and we’ll get everything set up.”

“Can’t wait,” Sam gushed.

“Love you,” Charlie called, speaking to both Sam and Anna, who parroted back the sentiment.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Em? They can get a bit wild.”

“Well, now I’m even more intrigued and excited. I can’t wait.”

With the plans for their little party arranged, Charlie was buzzing with excitement. Not only was she going to get to spend time with Emilie and her closest friends, but they were also preparing to do the first concert in the local town.

Charlie didn’t have much time for Jack, but she had to concede he was decent at his job. He’d done everything Emilie had asked of him, arranging five intimate concerts in the towns surrounding Emilie’s cabin. There had been no press and as far as Charlie knew, it was only the owners of the bars who knew what was happening.

“Okay, so the girls will be here in ten minutes. Kim just messaged me. It took me a few minutes to get past all the fangirl bollocks before I actually got the information I asked for,” Charlie laughed. Kim was definitely not keeping her cool about any of it. Thank God for Hélène and her “Kim calming” ways.

“Jess and Lydia will be over in about an hour,” Emilie called from her bedroom.

“All the food is ready and the booze. Are you sure you’re up for this?” Charlie asked. It was sure their little soiree was going to turn messy.

“Oh, yes. I think you’re more nervous than me. I just ask that no one post pictures online,” Emilie said. Charlie had already had that talk with her friends, but she wasn’t concerned.

The doorbell shrieking, jolted Charlie from her seat. Ripping open the door, she launched herself at her friends, who were just as excited to see her.

“Fuck me, doll. This is gigantic,” Kim blurted as soon as they’d stopped hugging.

“C’est très belle ,” Hélène added.

“Come in, come in. The rest is just as spectacular.” Just then, Emilie descended the steps. All eyes were on her. Charlie could understand her friends being star-struck. Even in boyfriend-cut jeans and a plain sweater, Emilie was stunning.

“Oh, I’m so pleased you’re all here. Welcome.” Emilie stepped forward and hugged each of them. Charlie laughed out loud when Hélène had to physically remove her fiancé from Emilie’s body.

“Will you calm down?” Hélène laughed. Kim didn’t seem in the least bit sorry.

“Hey, it’s not every day you get to hug Emilie Martin. I’m getting in as much hug time as possible.”

Hélène rolled her eyes playfully. Charlie turned to Sam and Anna. Anna was really glowing.

“Mama, you look radiant!”

“I feel huge,” Anna mumbled, and Sam took her wife in her arms, kissing her head.

“You’re gorgeous, honey.” They were going to be such wonderful parents.

With the greetings over with, the six women headed to the kitchen to pour drinks and start their evening. Kim was already snapping silly photos. Sam almost lost her mind when Spud waltzed in with a little party hat on and a rainbow bow tie. Safe to say, Spud had plenty of human time, filled with cuddles and ear scratches.

The atmosphere became a little tense when Jess and Lydia walked in. Charlie wasn’t thrilled that Lydia had agreed to come. Apparently she’d been planning to stop by anyway. Jess had already invited Lydia over to stay with her for a few days.

It was fine. Charlie could avoid Lydia for a couple of days. Tomorrow was the gig, and there was no way Charlie was going to let Lydia put a damper on it.

The night was full of laughter. Charlie regaled Emilie with stories of her and Sam’s time in university, which lead nicely to the story of Anna and Sam. Kim told Emilie how she and Hélène met and fell in love on holiday.

Charlie discreetly took photos of the group. The pictures got incrementally worse as the night wore on. Charlie wasn’t great at focusing with half a litre of rum coursing through her bloodstream. Soon the music got turned up and everyone was dancing on the makeshift dance floor in the middle of the living room.

The same flame of desire that had sparked at the ball came roaring back with a vengeance when Charlie watched Emilie dance. This time, though, she wasn’t going to give in to lust. They were building something special, and that took time. Charlie had to resist for a little longer. That was easier said than done, though.

“How is everyone feeling this fine morning?” Emilie shouted, which was especially mean. Six groans emanated throughout the kitchen as the group sat nursing coffees and hangovers. Why the hell wasn’t Emilie hanging out of her arse like the rest of them? Anna also sat smugly, watching the girls suffer.

“Why aren’t you dying with us?” Charlie moaned.

“Because I switched to water, like a responsible person,” Emilie laughed. “I’ll get breakfast on. You lot drink coffee. We have a big night tonight.”

“Don’t you worry, we’ll be right as rain in no time. Hélène, babe, whip up your magic hangover food. That will do the trick,” Kim said, patting Hélène on the bum. Hélène dragged herself off the kitchen stool and began raiding Emilie’s fridge. Charlie watched as Emilie stepped back, smiling. Yeah, Emilie was just as pleased as Charlie that her friends felt comfortable.

Half an hour later, the group had picked up a little. Hélène’s hangover sandwich really was magic. Already, Charlie could feel herself perk up.

“What’s the skinny for tonight, then?” Sam asked.

“So, the gig tonight is in the next town over. It’s in a lovely little pub. It’s not a massive venue, but it’s a local hotspot, so I think we’ll have a blast. The people are so nice. I think it’s going to be a fantastic night all around.”

“Is Jess up there with you, Em?” Lydia asked. Charlie grimaced. Lydia’s sweet voice rubbed her the wrong way.

“Nope, it’s not a band thing, it’s just me with my guitar.”

“Oh, wow, it’s going to be so good,” Kim crooned.

“Let’s have a chill day. We can have a wander in the woods and then we’ll get ready for tonight. Sound good?”

“Don’t wander too far, though, because there are bears!” Charlie blurted. Emilie laughed and patted her shoulder.

“Yeah, like Charlie the worry wart said, there are bears in the area, but don’t panic.”

“Still a wimp then, Charlotte?” Lydia laughed. Charlie knew she was baiting.

“It’s Charlie, and when it comes to massive fucking bears, you bet your fat ass I’m scared. Right, I’m going to shower and chill.” Charlie hopped off the seat and left before Lydia could reply. It felt good to get the last word in for a change.

The day went just as planned. Everyone seemed to relax and enjoy the cabin. Charlie was even able to relax a little on their walk. Tonight, though, chilled Charlie had to stay at the cabin and professional Charlie would take over. Even though Emilie had been strict about no social media and videos, Charlie was still going to document the evening with her camera.

Emilie had told the group the dress code was casual, and everyone looked comfortable as they entered the little bar. Charlie felt immediately welcomed. There wasn’t a sudden rush of adoring fans. The locals embraced Emilie like she was a long-lost daughter. They all knew her by her first name, and Emilie seemed relaxed around them. The pub had done a great job of keeping the gig a secret because everyone was surprised to see her. They were even more surprised when she stepped up to the little stage.

“Evening, everyone,” Emilie said, her voice like velvet. “I thought it might be nice if I sang for you lovely people tonight.” The small crown whistled and shouted their approval. “Can I ask that no one films it? I would really like to keep this between us.”

“Damn right,” a patron near the bar shouted. Charlie liked these people. They were here for Emilie, not for her fame.

Fourteen

P ete’s Pub was one of Emilie’s favourite places in Canada. The space wasn’t massive. It had a long wooden bar and several tables. The décor was very much a mix of hunting lodge and old English pub. The lights were always low, but it wasn’t a dive.

Pete had known Emilie since she was a young girl, and she’d spent many an afternoon drawing at one of the little wooden tables that littered the room. Pete and Emilie’s uncle were lifelong friends and would often meet up. This was the perfect spot to kick off her local town tour.

What more could she ask for? Nothing. This was the first time in a very, very long time that Emilie could say she was perfectly content. The rush of a twenty thousand-strong crowd was awesome. She always loved it, but there was nothing that could compare to singing the songs she loved, on a little stage, with just her old guitar. There must only be around fifty people in Pete’s, but that was more than enough. The atmosphere was fantastic. Everyone was in high spirits, and Emilie could relax—really relax, which was rare. The fact that Charlie and her friends were with her made the night perfect.

Speaking of Charlie… Emilie had nearly swallowed her tongue when Charlie had descended the stairs in the cabin earlier. Skintight leather pants, body hugging black sweater, and faux fur-lined black boots. Her hair was loose down her back and shining like the night sky in the moonlight. In all black, Charlie’s eyes shone like emeralds. Emilie had seriously considered nipping back upstairs and changing her underwear because that was the effect of Charlie Baxter: Utterly devastating.

There were several people in the bar that clearly agreed with Emilie’s observations of Charlie because they were not being subtle with their leering. The men didn’t bother her. It was the very cute bartender that gave her pause. The woman must have been around twenty-five. Did Charlie like younger women? Her hair was butter blonde, and she had perky boobs. Emilie couldn’t help but glance down to her own chest. They were good boobs—maybe not as perky as the young bartender, but not bad.

After she’d announced the set list to the waiting patrons, Emilie settled on the stool that had been placed on stage by Pete. Taking out her old guitar, she tried to put Charlie and the pretty bartender to the back of her mind. It was time to do what she did best.

Emilie was having the time of her life. The small crowd sang along, danced, and cheered throughout the night. During one of her breaks, Charlie climbed up on stage with a pint of Emilie’s favourite beer.

“You brought me Moosehead,” Emilie beamed. Her throat was dry, and she could already feel the soothing effects of the amber liquid in her mouth before she’d taken the glass.

“Thought you could do with a drink. You’re fucking killing it, Em. Seriously breathtaking, as always.” Emilie felt herself blush. Thank God the lighting was low.

Suddenly, a wolf whistle pierced the crowd. Emilie looked at Charlie, who grinned. It occurred to her that Charlie was bent over in front of Emilie, revealing her very nice derriere to the crowd, and someone had clearly appreciated the sight. Standing up straight, Charlie turned to the crowd and did a little bow, causing several shouts and whistles. Emilie caught sight of the bartender fanning herself with a beer mat.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Charlie said, climbing down off the stage. Emilie let herself watch Charlie for a second. The ethereal goddess of photography picked up her camera and slung the strap around her neck. She was all business. Not wanting the rest of the pub to notice her ogling of Charlie, Emilie cleared her throat and strummed her guitar.

The show must go on, Em .

There were several shouts for an encore when Emilie finished her set. Obliging, she sang one more song and then headed for her friends. Could she call them her friends yet? Jess and Lydia, sure, but what about the others? Hopefully, because Emilie liked them all a lot.

Kim rushed up to Emilie and koala-hugged the shit out of her. This wasn’t the first time since she’d met the blonde bombshell. The move seemed to be her signature hug. Probably because she only reached the shoulders of most of her friends.

“That… Oh. My. God, Emilie, that…”

“Take a breath, babe,” Hélène said calmly into Kim’s ear. Emilie couldn’t hide her grin. Kim was just this ball of love and fun.

“You really liked it?” Emilie asked, casting her gaze to the rest of the group. Even after decades on the stage, she still felt nervous about people’s reactions to her music.

“Stunning. You have made my life!” Kim bellowed.

“Surely, marrying Hélène will make your life,” Emilie laughed.

“No, it’s definitely this,” Hélène grinned.

“You were fabulous,” Lydia whispered, way too close to Emilie’s ear. Why did she have to make things uncomfortable?

“I’ll get you another drink,” Charlie muttered. Emilie caught the eye roll at Lydia. Charlie stalked off to the bar and immediately began talking to the sexy bartender. Great.

It took fifteen minutes for Charlie to extricate herself from the bartender. Well, maybe Charlie didn’t mind the blonde chatting her up. That would explain why she stayed at the bar for so long.

Eventually, Charlie came back to the table with a tray of drinks. “I think that wonderful performance deserves a toast,” Charlie called. Everyone raised their glasses. “To the formidable Emilie Martin. You are the queen of music and sexy to boot. Cheers.”

A chorus of “Cheers” cried out and everyone drank. Feeling a little hot under the collar, Emilie excused herself to go and meet some of the crowd. She knew most of them from her childhood, and it was nice to just chat to people like a regular human. No one asked her about future albums or tours. Actually, the most common question she got asked was how Spud was doing. That goof was loved by everyone.

Pete cleared a few tables away and hooked up his sound system. With a mix of country and pop playing, it didn’t take long for the crowd to dance. Emilie nearly peed her pants when Cotton Eye Joe came blaring through the speakers and Charlie grabbed Sam so fast it was comical. Clearly, the pair had memories attached to the song. Sure enough, Sam and Charlie were belting out the words, dancing like a pair of idiots and laughing. Emilie caught Anna’s eye, who laughed and shook her head. This was a side to Charlie that Emilie had never witnessed.

Pickerton had hosted several discos back in their school days, but Charlie never let herself relax and have fun. Emilie knew why. All the kids were assholes to her. No one wanted to make themselves the target of ridicule. Thank God Charlie had found her confidence. Clearly, she didn’t care what anyone thought now.

Looking back into the crowd, Emilie laughed harder when Pete scooped Charlie up into a dance. Charlie flung her head back, laughing. It was a sight to behold.

“Want to dance?” Lydia said. Emilie nearly jumped out of her skin.

“Jesus, Lydia, you scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry, Em, I didn’t mean to. Still, wanna dance? It’s been a while.” Emilie studied her friend. Normally Emilie would decline. Ever since Lydia’s blow up, Emilie had avoided situations like this. Now, though?

It should be okay; Lydia has a partner apparently .

“Sure, why not?”

They’d only just gotten into position to join in the fun when the song changed to a slow ballad. What were the odds? Emilie looked at Lydia, who shrugged. Taking the lead, Lydia began to slow dance, pulling Emilie into a gentle sway. The dance felt anything but innocent.

Conscious that other people could see them, Emilie leaned back as far as she could. Movement to her left snagged her attention. Charlie making her way through the crowd, away from the dance floor. She arrived at the table, picked up her drink, and downed it in one. Emilie was just about to break away from Lydia when Charlie picked up a napkin that had been under her glass. Emilie watched Charlie read it, turn her head to scan the room, and then pocket the napkin.

Right, so Charlie isn’t that bothered because she’s just kept the bartender’s number .

Emilie hadn’t seen what was on the napkin, but it didn’t take Sherlock Holmes to figure it out. Knowing Charlie had happily accepted another woman’s phone number was sobering. The elation of the night was seeping out of her, only to be replaced with a sick feeling clawing at her stomach.

They were supposed to be building something together, right? Emilie hadn’t misunderstood Charlie, surely?

Maybe she took the number so the bartender didn’t feel rejected?

That’s definitely something Charlie would do. She would never want to upset anyone. Clinging on to that hope, Emilie gave Lydia a tight smile and headed to the table. She needed a drink, and she needed to talk to Charlie.

The talk never happened. As soon as Emilie joined Charlie at the table, so did Sam, Anna, Hélène, and Kim. The only person not there was Jess, who was chatting up a woman by the stage.

“I think I’m about ready to call it a night,” Anna said, yawning.

“That’s fine by me, it’s been a wonderful evening,” Emilie said. Staying and drinking more wasn’t an option. They were having a farewell dinner party tomorrow night and there was plenty for Emilie to do in the morning. Doing it with a hangover wasn’t a wise choice.

With all the ladies in agreement, Emilie called for her car. A new batch of snow had settled while they were in Pete’s. If the weather carried on like this, they were going to get snowed in.

Anna and Sam bid everyone goodnight as soon as they got back. Kim and Hélène settled in front of the fire with Emilie and Charlie. One small glass of port couldn’t hurt. Thankfully, Lydia hadn’t pressed to come back to the cabin with them. Instead, she’d hung back, waiting for Jess to finish salivating over the woman she liked.

“What a day!” Kim sighed contently. “This trip was a fabulous idea. Thank you, Emilie, for inviting us.”

“It has been my pleasure. Anyway, it’s not over yet. Tomorrow we can build snowmen. No one sing, please,” Emilie shot a look at Charlie, who snapped her mouth shut, looking guilty. She had certainly been about to sing a rendition of Do You Want to Build a Snowman . “After that we have our dinner party, which I’m really excited about.”

“I think we should ask Anna and Sam if they want to reserve a hotel in Quebec City for a few nights,” Hélène said to Kim. “Anna isn’t going to be able to travel much longer. Would be a shame to miss out on the opportunity.”

“That’s a fab idea,” Kim replied, kissing Hélène.

“Do you want to go with your friends?” Emilie whispered to Charlie. They had the shows scheduled, but Emilie didn’t want Charlie missing out on time with her friends.

“No, I’m here with you, Em.”

“Right, we’re off to bed, ladies. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Kim winked.

“FYI, that doesn’t leave a lot,” Hélène laughed. Kim playfully slapped her ass.

“Your friends are great, Charlie. I know I’ve already said it, but they are.”

“Yeah, they’re good eggs.”

“Want another drink?” Emilie asked. She wasn’t ready for the night to be over.

“I think I’m going to go up if that’s cool. I want to get all the photos loaded onto my laptop before I sleep.”

Emilie nodded her head and smiled. “Sure, see you in the morning.”

“Em?” Charlie said, standing up. “You really were magnificent tonight. You blew me away.” Charlie leaned down and kissed Emilie on her cheek. When she knew Charlie had gone upstairs, Emilie finally let out a big breath. Her hand caressed her cheek where Charlie had kissed her.

Lord, she was in trouble. They were supposed to be going slow, building trust and forging a new relationship, but all Emilie wanted to do was have Charlie rip her clothes off and fuck her into next week.

“Have you actually given your snowman boobs?” Emilie asked, staring at Charlie’s creation. The group had been playing in the snow for the past hour. Sam had suggested they make the snowman building into a competition. The winner got bragging rights and a trophy. God only knew where they were going to source a trophy.

“Well, yeah, there isn’t a rule saying my snowman can’t have breasts.”

Emilie looked Charlie up and down. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

“Fuck yeah, I’m serious. I’m going to win this competition with originality.” Charlie stood with her hands on her hips, assessing her snowman. Emilie silently chuckled. Amazingly, Charlie had acclimatized to the cold. Sure, she still wore three times the amount of clothes as anyone else, but at least she wasn’t turning blue anymore.

“Nice baps,” Kim called over.

“Thanks,” Charlie replied.

“Baps?” Emilie questioned.

“Yeah, baps, funbags, melons, you know…tits.”

“Jesus,” Emilie mumbled.

“You know, my friend’s husband calls them Tatty Bojangles,” Charlie grinned.

“How are Max and Ben?” Sam asked.

“Really good. They said the video of my work is really boosting their appointments.”

“Is Max someone you’ve done photography for?” Emilie asked. She hated there was still so much she didn’t know about Charlie.

“I mentioned Max before. He did all my tats.”

Emilie’s mind wandered back to the garden at Bowman Manor. Charlie had mentioned Max then.

“His husband did a video of the finished product. I have taken plenty of photos of Max’s work, though. He really is a master.”

“I’ll say, your tats are phenomenal,” Emilie stated. “I always thought I might get one, but I chickened out.”

“Max will sort you out. Next time we’re in London, I’ll get you an appointment.”

That sentence almost floored Emilie. Charlie was thinking about their future. She had to be. Charlie could see them together in London.

Alright, Em, calm down, don’t jump to conclusions. Nice and slow .

“That would be great.” Emilie smiled sweetly and turned back to her own snowman. She needed a few minutes to calm her nerves.

“You have three minutes remaining,” Sam bellowed. Emilie looked at her snowman. She’d gone the more traditional route. With one minor adjustment to the snowman’s scarf, Emilie stepped back and announced she was done.

The tinkle of Sam’s alarm signalled the competition was over. Emilie slipped into the house to collect a tray of hot chocolate while Anna judged the snowmen. There had been an outcry when Anna volunteered to be judge. Those women took their competitions seriously. Anna hadn’t the energy to build, so it made sense. She also promised she wouldn’t be biased. Emilie found the whole thing highly entertaining, especially when Sam winked at Anna, blowing kisses. Anna shook her head, and Charlie made the motion of “I’m watching you” to Anna and Sam.

To Emilie, the winner was clear.

“I declare Kim the winner,” Anna announced to the boos of everyone else. It was all good-natured fun. Kim had created a Devil Wears Prada masterpiece. It looked more like an ice sculpture than a snowman.

“She’s called Sylvia,” Kim proudly announced.

“Why Sylvia?” Emilie asked.

“Why not?” Kim laughed.

“How the hell did you get her in heels?” Charlie asked disbelievingly.

“If I can do anything in heels, so can Sylvia.”

“Come on, everyone, grab a hot chocolate and warm up. Let’s toast to Kim and Sylvia.”

“Hear, hear,” Charlie shouted. The moment was shattered when a very excited Spud came bounding out of the forest with a stick. Even though every woman shouted “Stop!” at the top of their lungs, Spud ploughed through their snowmen before stopping in front of Emilie and dropping the stick.

Uh-Oh!

“Alright, everyone inside, quickly now,” Emily shouted, trying to usher the group inside.

“Move your arses,” Charlie bellowed. Emilie looked at Charlie, who kept turning her head toward the forest. Yeah, she’d definitely remembered what Spud dropping a stick meant.

“What’s happening?” Anna asked.

“Big fuck-off bear, that’s what’s happening!” Charlie practically screamed. Well, that got everyone moving, alright.

With the group and Spud safely inside, they stood by the windows, peering into the trees.

“There,” Hélène gasped, pointing to her right. Just waddling through the trees was a momma black bear and two cubs.

“Oh, wow,” Kim gulped.

“They are so cute,” Anna added.

“Yeah, until they rip your face off,” Charlie mumbled, causing Emilie to laugh. They stood and watched the creatures amble by. When they had disappeared back into the forest, the group settled down in the living room. Emilie left them to talk about the bear sighting while she prepared for the dinner party.

Everything was in place. The table was set, candles were lit, and the food was ready. Emilie had never thrown a dinner party that was just for her friends. Jess and Lydia had turned up half an hour before and were dragged into the living room so Kim could retell the bear sighting story.

“I just want to say thank you,” Emilie said, standing up with a flute of Champagne. “It’s been wonderful having you all here. I’ve loved every minute, and please know you are all welcome back any time.”

“Cheers,” the collective group sang.

“You look stunning, Em,” Charlie whispered in her ear. They hadn’t gotten dressed up, but Emilie had put a little effort in. She wore fitted jeans and a nice sweater. Emilie looked into Charlie’s eyes and was surprised to see lust staring back at her. Nothing had happened to warrant Charlie’s sudden desire, not that Emilie could remember anyway.

“You look stunning too, Char,” she replied. It was true. Charlie looked edible.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” Charlie asked.

Where the hell was this coming from?

Fifteen

T he past twenty-four hours leading up to Charlie asking Emilie to stay with her for the night had been illuminating. It all started at the pub last night. Watching Emilie perform was always thrilling, but seeing her so relaxed, truly enjoying herself, was beyond gratifying. Emilie’s soul came alive when she took to the stage. It was something that had always drawn Charlie to her, right from their very first meeting at Pickerton.

Everyone in the pub had been so wonderful and genuine. Charlie had laughed when she got wolf whistled on stage. She’d only gone to give Emilie a pint of beer. Next time, she wouldn’t parade her arse to the rest of the patrons. Next time? Yeah, she wanted there to be a next time. It was strange, but being with Emilie gave her a sense of belonging. Cheesy, right? But for Charlie, that sense of safety and belonging had always been absent.

Growing up rich was great. Charlie got she was very privileged. What people might not understand is that even though she had money, that was all she had, and really it wasn’t even hers. Her parents funded her life because they weren’t willing to give her anything else. The term “Absent Parents” didn’t come close to covering how neglectful they were. Estelle had been Charlie’s caregiver—in that she spent time with her at the nursing home—for as long as she could, but as soon as Estelle was too old, Charlie had been alone; no friends, no family.

Pickerton had been a temporary reprieve. For once, Charlie didn’t have to be completely alone. Emilie had become her family. No matter what shit was happening in her life, Charlie could rely on Emilie. When they’d parted ways, Charlie had lost so much more than a girlfriend.

Last night in the pub, it hit Charlie hard in the chest. Those familiar feelings of Emilie being her safety and her home flooded back, catching Charlie unaware. The feeling had been so potent she’d had to take herself away for a few minutes to catch her breath.

They were going slowly, and it was nice. However, taking it slow with someone so magnetising felt almost impossible. It was a daily struggle to keep her feelings at bay. Trying to be a reasonable, level-headed adult was bullshit.

As the night progressed, the crowd got louder. Charlie loved dancing with everyone, especially Sam. Cotton Eye Joe was their jam. Flinging each other around the miniscule dance floor had been hilarious, even more so when Pete joined in. Then it became less fun when Charlie spotted Lydia and Emilie dancing. White hot anger had erupted in her chest as she witnessed Lydia hold Emilie in her arms.

Acting like a jealous idiot was not Charlie’s thing. She hated that kind of shit. It didn’t take a genius to get that Lydia wanted Charlie to react. For Charlie, watching Lydia behave this way was nothing new. For as long as she could remember, Lydia had always hated her and had made it painfully clear she didn’t think Charlie was good enough for Emilie. Watching the two of them dance had raised a question that made Charlie nauseous. Had Emilie and Lydia ever been more than friends?

Not wanting to give Lydia what she so clearly wanted, Charlie had slipped off the dance floor and back to the table to grab her drink. Slamming the rest of her beer didn’t quite have the same effect as ripping Lydia off Emilie by her hair, but at least she wouldn’t get arrested. The napkin placed under her drink was a surprise. Maybe the cute bartender had written her number on it? Oh, how wrong Charlie had been.

Stay away from Emilie. I’m warning you. Don’t test me, bitch.

Charlie didn’t recognise the handwriting. Casting her gaze around the room, no one caught her eye. Who the fuck had left it? Slipping the napkin in her pocket, she grabbed for Sam’s drink, which was still half full. Should she take the threat seriously? Probably not. Honestly, there was only one person Charlie thought it could be, and if that was the case, she could handle it.

The next day had been so much fun until Spud scared the living shit out of her by dropping that bloody stick. No way was Charlie going to forget Emilie’s warning about bears. When the group scrambled inside to watch through the window, Charlie almost melted when Emilie stood nestled into her.

Charlie was taller than Emilie, so she could see over her head. Emilie had backed herself up into Charlie’s body. It felt so natural and so right. The depth of feeling that ran through her body was indescribable. It was only getting harder to resist what Charlie really wanted, and that was Emilie, in every way she could have her.

As Emilie had worked to get the dinner party ready, Charlie had taken the time to observe from a distance. Her body wanted to seek Emilie out, to go to the kitchen and help, just to be close, but she didn’t. However, that was the great thing about the cabin. The open plan meant no matter where she was or what Emilie was doing, Charlie could always see her without invading her space. Charlie conceded she might come across as a creepy stalker, but tough shit. The alternative was to drag Emilie upstairs and fuck her senseless, regardless of who was downstairs. That would have been rude. Awesome, but rude.

Emilie had grown into an incredible woman. Years of stardom hadn’t changed her. Charlie still saw the kind, warm girl she fell in love with all those years ago. Maybe it was because they were in such close quarters that everything felt more intense than if they were casually dating. Was that the reason her feelings were so strong, so fast?

Jess, turning up with Lydia in tow, threatened Charlie’s Zen more than she would’ve liked. Flashbacks of Lydia dancing with Emilie were unwelcome and impossible to stop. The napkin also came to mind. If Lydia wasn’t behind it, Charlie would have a giant dick tattooed on her forehead.

Sam, Anna, Kim, and Hélène had all told Charlie they loved Emilie. Considering her friends were the most important people in Charlie’s life, their approval was everything. And now she was here, sitting next to Emilie at the beautifully dressed dining table, whispering into Emilie’s ear she wanted to spend the night with her.

It could have been the glass of wine that finally crumbled Charlie’s defences. She didn’t know. What Charlie did know was that she needed Emilie in her bed, on her body. Charlie wanted—no, needed—to feel that closeness and security that only Emilie Martin could give her.

“You…you want me to spend the night?” Emilie whispered back. Her eyes darting around the table, making sure no one else was listening.

“Yes, Emilie, I want you with me tonight!”

“Oh…just so there’s no misunderstanding. When you say ‘spend the night’ you mean—”

“You, me, naked, doing very naughty things to each other.” Charlie wanted to laugh as Emilie’s eyes widened and her face blushed.

“Char, you can’t say things like that to me in front of everyone.” Charlie was about to respond when they were interrupted.

“What are you two whispering about?” Lydia asked, her eyes narrowed into slits. God, Charlie hated that bitch.

“I was just telling Emilie that I have a great idea for a piece of art that would fit wonderfully above the fireplace.” Charlie should get a fucking prize for pulling that bullshit out of her arse.

Way to go on the improv, Char .

“Oh, really?” Lydia drawled, arching her eyebrow. “And what art would that be?”

“A vagina painting by Sam’s mum.” It was the first thing that came to mind. Sandy had gifted a painting to Charlie a few years ago for her birthday and it was one of Charlie’s favourites. Come to think of it, even though she’d lied about mentioning it to Emilie, a Sandy Chambers piece really would look great in the living room.

“A vagina painting,” Lydia mocked.

“Yeah, a vagina painting,” Charlie repeated.

“Oh, God, do we have to bring that up again?” Sam moaned. “It was bad enough the first time around.”

“So, your mum is an artist?” Jess asked Sam.

“Oh, yeah. She did a collection a few years ago that was basically a load of multicoloured vaginas.”

“Wow,” Jess laughed.

“Yeah, wow, is one word. Mum isn’t shy about sharing her art with me, unfortunately.”

“And she gave you one of those paintings, Charlie?” Emilie asked, looking amused.

“Damn right she did. That woman is a genius. It hangs pride of place above my desk in the office.”

“About that, Char. Couldn’t you put it somewhere else? I really don’t enjoy looking at it when I visit.”

“For the last time, Sammy, it isn’t your vagina. What’s the problem? It’s a beautiful bit of art that I will not be moving. You need to build a bridge and get over it. Anyway, Anna likes it, too.”

All eyes shifted to Anna, who was silently chuckling. “Sorry, mon amour , I’m with Charlie on this one.”

“See, ha! Outvoted. I’m going to call Sandy tomorrow and ask her to paint one for Em. Would you like that?” Charlie ignored Sam’s grimace and focused on Emilie, who was a delightful shade of red.

“I’d love that, thank you.”

“Right, that’s your Christmas present sorted, then,” Charlie smiled, delighting in the smoke that was coming out of Lydia’s ears.

“So does your mum only paint erotica?” Jess asked. Charlie burst out laughing when Sam let her head drop to the table. Charlie would never tire of Sam’s embarrassment.

The conversation flowed and everyone relaxed, including Lydia, who seemed to have gotten bored with shooting hateful looks at Charlie. Charlie couldn’t have cared less because, as the night wore on, Emilie shifted closer, eventually resting her hand on Charlie’s thigh under the table. Lightning bolts were shooting to very intimate parts of Charlie’s anatomy, and she was getting jumpy.

By eleven o’clock, Charlie was getting testy. She wanted everyone gone so she could get her hands on Emilie. Anna was the first to retire, followed minutes later by Sam, Hélène, and Kim.

“Can we crash tonight, Em?” Jess asked. The snow had continued to fall, and Charlie could fully understand not wanting to drive on the roads. Unfortunately, that meant Lydia would stay, too.

“Of course. Are you two okay sharing? The other rooms are full.”

“No worries, see you in the morning.” Jess must have sensed Lydia’s hesitation to leave, because she grabbed the woman’s hand and practically dragged her up the stairs.

“Thank fuck for that,” Charlie wailed comically. “I thought they’d never bugger off.”

“Oh, and why would you want that, Charlie?” Emilie grinned, her eyes twinkling in the firelight. After the food had been consumed, the group had retired to the living room. Now it was just Charlie and Emilie on the couch next to the open fire.

“Well, Emilie, I thought we could play some cards. Oh, or we could read! How about dominos?” Charlie smiled when Emilie rolled her eyes and shifted closer. Charlie’s heartbeat thudded in her chest. She wouldn’t be surprised if Emilie could hear it.

“I think we can come up with something better than that, don’t you?” Emilie purred.

Even though everyone had gone to bed, Charlie was well aware they weren’t alone. They could be disturbed at any minute. The sensible option would be to take Emilie to bed. Her brain wasn’t operating sensibly, though, it was operating on need. Right now, Charlie needed Emilie naked in front of the roaring fire.

“Come here,” Charlie whispered. Emilie slid across the last bit of space on the couch. Although carnal need still bubbled under Charlie’s skin, she didn’t want to rush this. Yes, they could ravage each other like they had the night of the gala, but tonight needed to be more. They needed to reconnect, wholly. Body and mind.

Charlie cupped Emilie’s face and took a moment to just drink her in. Gently, Charlie pulled Emilie toward her. The mellow scent of Emilie’s perfume engulfed Charlie’s senses. Emilie softly rubbed her nose against Charlie’s. The delicate touch was so sensual, Charlie heaved in a deep breath. Closing her eyes, she sighed with joy when she felt Emilie’s lips brush her own. They were so soft, so plump and warm. They moved in synchronicity, their tongues exploring knowingly in each other’s mouths. How could they still know each other so well? Twenty years may have passed, but nothing had changed. Their kisses now held more confidence than those of teenagers. Even so, their hands and mouths danced together to their own beat, just like they always had.

Without breaking their kiss, Charlie pulled Emilie up to standing. With their bodies flush, Charlie allowed her hands to wander. Her fingertips skimmed Emilie’s breasts, lingering only for a second. The feel of soft skin made Charlie groan out loud as her hands reached under Emilie’s sweater. The possessive squeeze on Charlie’s arse signalled Emilie’s impatience and desire. Emilie had always liked Charlie’s bum.

“Take off your clothes,” Emilie said against Charlie’s lips.

“Take off yours,” Charlie replied. Emilie broke their kiss, stepped back, and began discarding her clothes. The firelight licked Emilie’s body as she revealed herself slowly. Charlie’s eyes raked up and down Emilie feverishly.

Jesus, she’s sublime .

“Now you,” Emilie purred when she was down to her underwear—very nice blue lace underwear. Charlie unbuttoned her trousers, sliding them to the floor. Emilie’s eyes bugged when she noticed Charlie had gone commando. Feeling more than satisfied with the reaction she’d just elicited, Charlie whipped her top off and discarded her bra.

“Good God, Charlie,” Emilie panted. Charlie stepped forward, running her hands over Emilie’s chest.

“Can we get rid of this?” she asked, snapping Emilie’s bra strap. Emilie reached around and unclipped the bra, letting it fall to the floor. Charlie hooked her thumbs under the waistband of Emilie’s knickers. Looking into Emilie’s eyes, she silently asked for consent. Emilie nodded.

As soon as the lace fabric hit the floor, Emilie crashed into Charlie. Hands grabbed and caressed. Tongues battled and licked. The world around them faded as they took what they needed.

“Down here,” Charlie gasped. Shifting away slightly, she tugged Emilie down so they were lying on the rug in front of the fire.

“Please touch me, Charlie. I’ve missed you so much.”

Charlie positioned herself between Emilie’s legs. The fire crackled and flared as Charlie looked down at Emilie. She could spend a lifetime expressing how much Emilie meant to her; how much she’d missed her body, her spirit. Now wasn’t the time for words, though.

“I’m going to lick every inch of you,” she growled. Charlie craved the taste of Emilie’s skin. Dipping her head, she gently sucked on Emilie’s pulse point. Emilie instantly reacted. Her hips jolted and rolled. Slowly, Charlie kissed her way down. Emilie’s nipples were hard peaks, desperate for attention. Charlie licked them once but carried on her journey. She bit, licked, and sucked Emilie’s stomach, her hips, and her thighs. When she was satisfied, she flipped Emilie over to her stomach. Emilie was putty in Charlie’s hands. The soft gasps and murmurs emanating from Emilie were further proof she was lost in Charlie’s touch.

“Oh, Charlie, please, for the love of God, fuck me,” Emilie huffed, frustrated. Charlie smiled widely against Emilie’s arse.

“Patience, Em,” Charlie chuckled. Taking Emilie’s wrists, Charlie pinned them above Emilie’s head, her body lying flush against Emilie’s back.

“I love the feel of your boobs,” Emilie muttered, her face turned to the side. “I also love the feel of your pussy on my ass,” she added. Charlie gave a slow, sensual roll. They both moaned loudly.

“If you love that, wait until I really get started on you,” Charlie said, sucking on Emilie’s earlobe. “Keep your hands up there, okay?” Emilie nodded. Charlie kissed her neck. Releasing Emilie’s wrists, she snaked her hand down Emilie’s ribs. Using her knee, she gently ushered Emilie’s legs apart. She was careful to make sure her weight was on her elbow and knees. “Are you alright?”

“I’m perfect. I love to feel you on me,” Emilie sighed. Charlie lifted her hips slightly, encouraging Emilie to do the same. Sliding her hand under Emilie’s body, she gently cupped Emilie’s mound.

“Take what you need,” she whispered in Emilie’s ear. Understanding what Charlie wanted, Emilie began to roll her hips, Charlie’s hand giving her the friction she needed. With Emilie’s arse rolling steadily against her clit, Charlie had to bite her lip to tamp down her own arousal.

God, I’m going to explode .

Emilie’s hands gripped the rug, her knuckles whitening as she picked up the tempo. Charlie was losing the battle to keep her orgasm at bay. Knowing she was almost at the tipping point, she reached up and laced her free hand with Emilie’s and gripped hard as Emilie’s body convulsed, sending waves of pleasure through her already stimulated pussy.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, Charlie,” Emilie moaned, burying her head into the floor. Charlie let herself go; her screams muffled by Emilie’s neck. Their bodies stilled. Charlie shifted and lay beside a very satisfied looking Emilie.

“Are you ready to go again?” Charlie asked. Emilie laughed into the rug, shaking her head.

“Ready when you are,” she panted. Charlie leaned in and kissed her deeply, rolling her onto her back.

Suddenly, Emilie pushed her away. “I’m no pillow princess, you know,” she smirked. Sitting up, Emilie pushed Charlie down and straddled her waist. “Do you remember the one thing I always wanted us to try, but we never did?” Emilie asked with a raised eyebrow.

“How could I forget,” Charlie replied, hauling Emilie up her chest by her arse. “Turn around,” she demanded. Emilie turned her body and looked down between her legs. Charlie’s chin was just visible. Opening her legs wider, she lowered herself to Charlie’s waiting tongue. Charlie couldn’t help but grab Emilie’s arse cheeks. Having Emilie on her face was a dream! Having Emily eat her out at the same time was just perfect.

Sixteen

E milie was in sexual heaven. Her pussy ground down on Charlie’s face. Where the hell had Charlie learned to do what she was doing? Oh, fuck . No time to get lost in thought. Emilie had her tongue buried deep in Charlie’s folds. The taste and scent of Charlie was overwhelming. She was delicious.

“Keep going, Em. Shit, I’m close,” Charlie mumbled from beneath her.

Her own orgasm was a second away from ripping her to shreds. Being eaten out was fantastic. Eating Charlie out at the same time was magnificent. Emilie was kind of glad they’d never done this when they were younger. She was sure it wouldn’t have been as good. Not with them both being so inexperienced. Now, though, holy shit, they were electric. The flames roaring in the fireplace were nothing compared to the fire that stoked between their bodies.

“Yes, yes, oh, shit,” Charlie cried. Emilie doubled down. She nuzzled her face in further, sinking her tongue into Charlie’s entrance as Charlie came. As soon as she felt Charlie’s body relax, she pulled her face away. Charlie didn’t waste a second, though. She plunged her tongue into Emilie hard. Emilie rocked back and forth, loving that her pussy slammed into Charlie’s face. Gripping the rug again, Emilie held on for dear life as Charlie brought her to climax. There was no dampening her scream, which rocketed around the cabin.

“My God, that was…”

“Yeah, it was,” Charlie finished. Emilie had crashed onto Charlie when she’d come. Her head lay on Charlie’s thigh, her legs spread-eagle on Charlie’s chest.

“Of all the views in Canada, I think this is my favourite,” Charlie said, before swiping her tongue up Emilie’s slit again, causing her to jump.

“Give me a sec and I’ll move. I’m like jelly at the moment.” In fact, Emilie could have easily fallen asleep right then and there.

“Don’t move on my account, honey,” Charlie chirped. “I can keep doing this,” she said, swiping her tongue again.

“Oh, fuck,” Emilie gasped. As spent as she was, her clit was already responding and getting ready for round three.

“I need coffee,” a distant voice grumbled.

“You need three,” another voice added.

“I’ll make it. You go and wake Charlie. She’ll oversleep otherwise,” a third voice said.

Where the hell am I?

There should be no voices in Emilie’s bedroom.

Oh, no!

“Uh, don’t think we have to worry about finding Charlie,” the first voice sang. Emilie kept her eyes tightly shut. Oh, shit, they hadn’t made it upstairs, which meant they were still very naked in front of the fireplace. Emilie could feel Charlie’s body curved around her own. At least it wasn’t her ass on show.

“What’s going on?” a fourth voice called.

“Um, you probably don’t want to know,” the first voice said.

“Oh, for the love of…” Jess said. Emilie was awake enough now to know whose voice was talking. “Jesus, I’m going to go ward off Lydia. She’ll throw a fucking fit if she walks in on this.”

“So, who’s going to wake them, then?” Hélène asked.

“Not me,” Sam blurted. “Charlie is a miserable arse in the morning.”

“You’re all ridiculous,” Kim snapped lightly. “I’ll do it. Can you grab a blanket or something?” There were a few shuffling and muttering noises.

“Charlie, you need to wake up.” Emilie felt Charlie stir. There was no way in hell she was going to move first. “Charlie,” Kim bellowed, causing Charlie to jump.

“Fuck me, why are you shouting?” Charlie grumbled; her head still buried in Emilie’s neck. This was ridiculous. Emilie was straining to keep her nervous laughter from spilling out.

“I’m shouting because you need to get up. You’re naked on the living room floor,” Kim laughed.

“Am I? Oh, shit, yeah. Hang on, pass me that blanket. The warmth of Charlie’s torso evaporated the moment she moved from Emilie. Still keeping her eyes closed, Emilie waited a few moments longer. A blanket was placed over her body.

“Jesus, Charlie, can you cover up?” Sam grumbled.

“Sam, you’ve seen me naked plenty. We’re all women, calm down.” Emilie couldn’t hold on any longer. Rolling over, she opened her eyes and looked up to see Charlie standing proud and tall in all her naked glory. Kim was laughing, as were Hélène and Anna. Sam was bright red, shaking her head.

Shifting to her elbows, Emilie hoisted the blanket around her body. “Morning,” she said shyly. This had never happened to her, and she had no way of knowing how to deal with it.

“Hey, babe,” Charlie said, smiling. Emilie laughed at Charlie’s utter disregard of her friends’ embarrassment. Standing up, Emilie moved so she was standing behind Charlie. The ethereal goddess might not be bothered about showing off her body, but Emilie wasn’t so carefree.

“Um, sorry about this,” she said, motioning to Charlie and herself. “We fell asleep,” she added.

“Well, it certainly looked like you had fun,” Kim winked. “Right, we’ll get breakfast going whilst you two get dressed. Be ready in twenty.” With that, she ushered everyone over to the kitchen island.

Charlie turned around and beamed at Emilie. “Wanna take a shower?” she asked, wiggling her eyebrows. Emilie chuckled, stood on her toes and kissed Charlie soundly. Yes, she absolutely wanted to take a shower.

With everyone fed and happy—bar Lydia, who had obviously heard about Charlie and Emilie being found in the nude—Emilie began tidying up the house. It was amazing how much crap could accumulate in just a couple of days.

Charlie was sitting on the couch with Héléne, Anna, and Kim. Emilie noticed Sam walk in with a very odd look on her face. Sam made a beeline for Charlie. Emilie couldn’t hear what was going on, but it must have been important. Emilie moved to the other side of the kitchen island when Charlie and Sam stepped away from the others. They were acting very odd. What did Sam just pass to Charlie?

Emilie placed the cleaning sponge down and walked over to where the women were huddled. Something wasn’t right.

“Hey, what’s going on?” she asked. Charlie looked from the scrap of paper in her hand to Emilie and then Sam.

“It’s nothing…it’s fine,” Charlie answered.

Sam didn’t seem to agree with her friend’s assessment of the situation. “It is not fucking fine, Charlie,” Sam growled.

“Charlie?” Emilie wasn’t stupid. She could see from Charlie’s face everything was far from okay.

“Fuck,” Charlie huffed. “Sam found this in her luggage.” Charlie handed over the piece of paper she’d been gripping.

If you know what’s good for your wife and baby, you will get Charlie to leave Emilie now. I will hurt you.

“What the hell is this?” Emilie demanded. “Who left it?”

“No idea,” Sam said. “I only just noticed it. I’ve no idea how long it’s been in the bag.”

“Why aren’t you more surprised?” Emilie asked Charlie, who in her opinion was being far too calm about it.

“I got something similar the other day,” Charlie mumbled.

“What? Why the hell didn’t you say anything?” Emilie bellowed. The one thing she took seriously was her safety and the safety of her people. Emilie never took these things lightly. She couldn’t, not in her line of work. Seven years ago, she’d had to get the authorities involved with a besotted fan. It was one of the scariest things she’d ever gone through, and she certainly didn’t want a repeat performance.

“Em, it’s nothing, just bullshit,” Charlie said, trying to soothe her, which wasn’t working in the least.

“No, Charlie, you can’t say that. You need to trust me. When it comes to threats against me, I have to take them seriously.”

“They aren’t against you, Em,” Charlie shot.

“No, but they may as well be, Charlie. I can’t risk you getting hurt.”

“No one is going to hurt me, Emilie.”

“You don’t know that, Charlie.” Their voices had risen to shouting level. Kim, Hélène, and Anna rushed over to see what the crisis was. Emilie shoved the note into Kim’s hand. Her blood was boiling.

“Shit,” Kim hissed, passing the note to Hélène.

“I’d never let anything happen to you or Anna, you know that, right?” Charlie was gripping Sam’s shoulders.

“I know, mate, but I think it’s time for us to leave. I want us home, safe.”

Without another word, Sam left the room, taking the stairs two at a time. Anna had a hold of the note. Her face visibly paled. “Charlie, come home with us,” she pleaded. “Just until Emilie can investigate this,” she said, waving the paper around.

“Not a chance. I’m staying right here,” Charlie shot defiantly.

“Char—” Emilie began.

“No, Emilie, I’m not leaving.” Charlie stormed out of the room.

“Dammit,” Emilie whispered. What the hell should she do?

“She’s stubborn. She won’t budge now,” Anna said to Emilie. “Just take care of her, okay?”

Suddenly Emilie found herself alone. With the group upstairs collecting their luggage, Emilie slid onto one of the kitchen stools, her hands in her hair.

Okay, you know what to do. Call Buddy, report the notes, and keep a close eye out.

Buddy Marsh was the detective who had dealt with Emilie’s overzealous fan. She kept in contact with him. He was a fantastic guy and an excellent detective.

“Hey, Buddy,” Emilie sang down the phone line when it connected.

“Emilie, how you doing? It’s been a while.”

“Yeah, sorry I haven’t called more.”

“You’re a busy woman, no worries. What can I do for you?” Emilie spent the next few minutes explaining the situation. “Okay, keep the notes. I’ll swing by and collect them as evidence. You know the drill. If you see anything or notice anything out of the ordinary, anything at all, you call 911. I’ll get the incident recorded, so there is an open file.”

“Thanks, Buddy,” Emilie sighed. Just having Buddy note the incident made Emilie feel better.

“You need to tell your friend the same thing, okay? Do you have any idea who it is?” he asked.

“None.”

“What about your friend?”

“I’ll ask her and let you know. We’re just about to take her friends to the airport, so we’ll have time later to talk. I’ll let you know, okay?”

“Sure thing. Try not to worry too much. We’ll figure it out. Speak soon.”

“Bye.” Okay, that’s all that she could do for now. As soon as their friends were safely on board the jet, she and Charlie would talk.

The car journey to the private airstrip was tense and almost silent. The threat against Sam, Anna, and their baby had shocked everyone. Emilie tried several times to catch Charlie’s eye. She wanted desperately to know what she was thinking. If her face reflected what was in her mind, then Emilie could see she was seething.

“We’re here,” Emilie said quietly as the car pulled up. Everyone exited the car and went about collecting their belongings.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come home?” Sam asked Charlie.

“I’m good, Sammy, please don’t worry. I’m sure it’s nothing serious.”

Sam clearly wanted to argue, but Anna squeezed her shoulder, pulling her away.

“Thank you for a wonderful time,” Anna said to Emilie, wrapping her up in a hug. One by one, they wished Emilie and Charlie farewell, giving them each a tight hug. Charlie still hadn’t said a word. Together they stood by the car and watched the plane taxi to the runway and then take off.

The car journey back to the cabin was just as silent. Emilie felt like screaming. By the time they arrived back, Emilie was ready for several glasses of wine.

“Want one?” she asked Charlie, who was perched on the couch, staring outside.

“Yeah, thanks.”

Well, at least she answered .

Emilie poured two very generous glasses of red wine and sat herself close to Charlie.

“Can we talk?” she asked tentatively. This was the first time she’d ever seen Charlie looking so furious. Charlie, by nature, was a calm, gentle person with a flair for the dramatic, but she was never angry. “I called a detective I know and reported the notes. He wanted to know if I had any idea of who it could be. I said I didn’t, but he wanted me to ask if you had a clue?”

“I think it’s pretty fucking obvious who it is,” Charlie spat, taking Emilie by surprise. The venom in Charlie’s voice was abundant.

“Who?” Emilie asked, her voice high-pitched. Did Charlie really know who had sent the threatening notes?

“Oh, come on, Em.”

“What do you mean ‘come on, Em’? Why would I know who it is?”

“There is only one person we know who has hated me so passionately, and for a very long time, that just so happened to spend the night here.”

Emilie scrunched up her eyebrows. Surely Charlie wasn’t suggesting Lydia? Sure, Lydia was intense, but she wasn’t someone who would threaten a pregnant woman for God’s sake.

“Do you mean Lydia?” Emilie asked, shock evident in her tone.

“Of course I mean fucking Lydia. That bitch has had it out for me since our first day at Pickerton. She’s never hidden the fact she didn’t think I was in your league. She’s never hidden the insults and digs. You can’t seriously be surprised.”

“Of course I’m surprised. She’s one of my oldest friends, Charlie. I think I would know if she had a screw loose, don’t you?”

“Would you? Really? That fucker has been nothing but antagonistic to me since the ball. Now, suddenly, I’m receiving threatening notes. Both of which happened to coincide with Lydia’s visits. She was at the bar and here last night.”

“Lydia was dancing when you got that note. I remember now because I thought it was the bartender giving you her number. Lydia was with me and last night she never went upstairs alone, plus she arrived after everyone. When did she get the time?”

Charlie was looking at Emilie with fire in her eyes and not the kind that had been present last night. “You don’t believe me.” she said flatly.

“It’s not that, Charlie, but come on, that’s a heavy accusation to throw at someone without proof.”

Charlie shook her head and laughed. “Yeah, you should know, being the expert at that kind of thing.” Charlie’s words pierced Emilie’s chest. “I can’t believe you’re doing it again. Twenty years later and I still can’t get you to believe me, can I, Em?”

Charlie wasn’t shouting, her voice wasn’t even above normal level. Her voice was resigned, as was her body language. Words wouldn’t come. Emilie opened her mouth to talk, but nothing materialized. Charlie stood up and placed her wine on the coffee table. “I think it’s best I go after all. I don’t want anything to happen to Sam and Anna.”

No, no, no, this couldn’t be happening. For fuck’s sake, Emilie, say something.

“Charlie.”

“No, Em, it’s fine. I get it. You know Lydia better than me. Of course you would believe her. You have decades of friendship between you. Who am I? I’m just someone you fucked for a little while twenty years ago.”

Emilie watched as a tear slid down Charlie’s cheek.

“Charlie, please, I’m sorry,” Emilie shot. She could not let history repeat itself. Charlie’s parting words burned through her brain as she watched Charlie leave. “Who am I? I’m just someone you fucked for a little while twenty years ago.” Sprinting up the stairs, Emilie burst into Charlie’s room. Charlie was stuffing her clothes into her duffel bag.

“You’re not leaving. I won’t let you.” Hell would freeze over before she let Charlie Baxter walk out of her life again.

“Em, please, let’s not do this.”

“No, we’re doing it. Talk to me, explain what I’m missing. If you really think Lydia is behind the threats, tell me. I’m sorry I didn’t listen. I’m sorry you think I don’t believe you. It just came as a shock is all. Talk to me, Char, please.” When she saw Charlie’s shoulders relax a little, Emilie knew she’d won a reprieve.

Charlie dropped her duffel on the floor and sat on the edge of the bed. “Em, I had plenty of people in school dislike me for whatever reason, but no one like Lydia. Before we became an item, she never paid me much attention, but as soon as you showed an interest in me, I became a target. You knew about the snarky comments, but what you didn’t see were the thinly veiled threats, the ‘accidental’ trip ups. You name it, that fucker did it. It was a well-known fact that Lydia had always held a torch for you. You can’t tell me you didn’t know.”

“Yeah, I knew. I told her it would never happen, though, that we would only ever be friends.”

“And how did that work out? If she didn’t try it on with you, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle,” Charlie stated.

“Okay, yeah, she did a couple of times.”

“It went beyond a crush for her, Em. There were times I’d catch her watching you—watching us. Not in the context of a group. I’m talking about Lydia following us and watching.”

“Why didn’t you ever say?”

“I didn’t want to overthink it and honestly, Em, you were so desperate to have friends, I didn’t want to take that away. I know how hard it was with your family and trusting people. I didn’t want to sow seeds of doubt. Plus, me and you were going to go away together after Pickerton, so I had no reason to worry. Lydia wouldn’t have been a part of our lives.”

“You really think she’s held this hatred for you for so long?”

“Fuck, yes. It’s like no time has passed. There is no one else that hates me the way she does. It’s possible it’s a crazed fan, but the location of the notes tells me it’s someone close and the only person in my mind it could be is Lydia.”

“I’m not saying you’re wrong, okay? I just need to sit with the idea for a while.” Emilie knew she was riding a thin line. One false move and Charlie would bolt.

Seventeen

C harlie stood by her bedroom window, looking out onto a field of white. Even the trees were covered. Last night had been a rollercoaster, one that Charlie had not enjoyed. A familiar feeling had snaked its way through her body ever since her talk with Emilie. It was a familiar feeling she never thought she would have to deal with again: Emilie disbelieving her.

Now that things had calmed down a little, she could understand why Emilie needed a minute to process what Charlie was saying. Of course, it was a serious accusation she was levying against Lydia, but Charlie knew in her heart she was right. There was no other explanation. No other person on this planet wanted Charlie away from Emilie like Lydia did.

With that said, was it wrong for Charlie to want Emilie to believe her off the bat? No questions needed? Probably, but Charlie needed that from her. There was no way she could go through the humiliation and pain of Emilie choosing to believe someone over her. Not again.

Once Charlie had agreed to let Emilie sit with what she’d said, they’d parted ways. After their delicious night together, it was certainly not what Charlie had been expecting to happen. No, they should have been holed up in a bedroom doing all kinds of naughty things to each other. Instead, they’d been in separate rooms all night and now Charlie was hiding out. She didn’t want to go downstairs and see the uncertainty in Emilie’s eyes.

Maybe she should have returned home with Sam and Anna? That way, everyone would be out of danger, and it would have given Charlie and Emilie a bit of space to figure out if they were on the same page. Charlie needed trust. There was no point in moving forward if that fundamental element was missing.

The bang of the front door drew Charlie into the hallway. Jess’s voice echoed through the house. Charlie tensed. If Lydia was here, she wouldn’t be able to hold herself back. No one threatened her family and walked away. Charlie would do anything for Sam and Anna, and that included jail time if needed. Who the fuck did Lydia think she was? Gripping the stair rail, Charlie willed herself to calm down. This wasn’t just about her. There were other people involved.

With her breathing somewhat normal, Charlie descended the stairs. A quick scan of the room told her that Lydia was not there. “Hey, Jess.”

“Hey, Charlie, you okay? You don’t look like you’ve slept at all,” she winked. Jess obviously thought that Charlie’s tired eyes were the result of hours of debauchery with Emilie. If only.

“Yeah, bad night. You look like you’re dressed to do some wood chopping,” Charlie said, hoping Jess would go along with the change of subject. To Charlie’s relief, she did.

“I’m heading into the woods, but not for wood chopping. I’d thought I’d take a hike and camp out for a couple of nights. There’s a really nice campsite about forty minutes away.”

“Camping? It’s like minus a thousand out there,” Charlie spluttered.

“Jeez. Dramatic much? The temperature has actually risen slightly since you arrived. Anyway, there is nothing like camping in the woods to clear the mind. I do it now and then when I need to reset.”

Reset? That sounded exactly like what Charlie needed. So far, Charlie hadn’t spotted Emilie. Presumably she was hiding away in her room, too.

“Can I tag along?” The words were out of her mouth before she could think her request through. This was the woman who nearly froze to death on a quick jaunt into the woods with Emilie and Spud. Why the fuck was she volunteering herself to camp out in the woods for a few nights?

“Seriously?” Jess’s face mirrored Charlie’s surprise.

“Yeah, fuck it. I could do with a change of scenery. We’ve been cooped up in the house for too long. Plus, it would be great to get some shots of the wildlife around here.”

The more Charlie tried to talk Jess into the idea, the more she realised how much she wanted to go. It was her firm belief that if she and Emilie didn’t get some adequate space between them, then nothing would be resolved. If anything, the situation would probably get worse.

“Em won’t come along. I’ll tell you that for a fact,” Jess said, looking around the house. She was probably wondering why Emilie hadn’t come out to see her.

“That’s fine. We’re not joined at the hip,” Charlie stated. At some point, she’d probably have to tell Jess the two of them were in a kind of fight.

“Well, alright then. I’ve got a bunch of extra gear. Have you got walking boots?”

“Yup, nice furry ones, so all good.”

“Okay. You go get your stuff and tell Em what’s happening. I’ll go back to mine, load up, and meet you back here. Let’s say an hour, cool?”

“Brilliant, thanks Jess. See you soon.”

Jess gave her a thumbs up and left. Now all Charlie had to do was explain to Emilie she was taking an impromptu camping trip for a few days.

Charlie took the stairs slowly. No matter what she said, Emilie would think she was running away, and she was. No, not running, just distancing. With a deep sigh, Charlie knocked on Emilie’s door. A few seconds went by with no answer. God, was she being ignored? Bracing herself, Charlie pushed open Emilie’s door. The room was empty.

Charlie shook her head. She should have known the only place Emilie would be was in her music room. Any time Emilie felt overwhelmed, or needed time to think, she would go to a music room. That had always been her go-to place in school. No reason to think that had changed now.

Following the corridor, Charlie stopped by the partially open door that led to Emilie’s music room and, sure enough, there she was perched on the window seat, pen and paper in hand, looking out into the snowy landscape. Charlie’s tummy tingled at the sight of Emilie lit up by the light reflecting off the snow.

Clearing her throat, she stepped into the room. “Hey.” Emilie slowly turned her head and offered a small smile.

Just like Charlie, Emilie had dark circles under her eyes. “Hi.”

“Um, so Jess stopped by. She’s going camping.”

“Oh, good, she always feels better after a few nights in the open.”

“Yeah, um, so I decided to go along. You know, experience the Canadian wilds for a day or two.” Charlie was desperate to make it sound like the trip was about sightseeing, rather than their obvious argument and subsequent tension.

“Oh.” Emilie’s eyes dropped to her notepad. Charlie’s heart clenched. “Yeah, cool. I’m sure you will enjoy yourself. Just wrap up warm.”

Charlie appreciated Emilie wasn’t making a big deal out of her decision to skip out for a few days.

Charlie nodded her head numbly. What else was there to say? “Right, I’ll see you soon then.”

“Will you be back before the next show?” Emilie’s voice was saturated with insecurity and vulnerability. She really wasn’t making it easy on Charlie.

“Em, of course. It’s just two nights, maybe three.” Emilie smiled, nodded, and turned back to the window.

The atmosphere between them was horrible. Charlie hated everything about it. Leaving was definitely the best option. Emilie could work through her feelings about the whole “Lydia being a psycho stalker” situation without feeling pressure from Charlie, and Charlie could work out if she could move past these feelings that had taken over.

Shoving her belongings into her duffel, Charlie paced around her room. She still had a good half an hour to wait for Jess. Only one thing for it, she needed her family.

“Sam, hey.”

“You okay, Char, has something happened?” Charlie hated her friend was panicking.

“I’m absolutely fine, honestly, nothing to panic about. I’m going camping. I thought I’d let you know. I’m not sure if I’ll get reception in the woods.”

“Camping? You? Why?” Sam asked incredulously.

“Hey, I can camp.”

“I’m not saying you can’t. I’m just surprised, is all. When was the last time you went anywhere that didn’t have a king-size bed and a double shower?”

Alright, so Sam might have a point. The last time Charlie had done anything remotely like camping was in school. It’s not her fault she preferred warm comfort over bug-infested, cold, hard floors!

“I think it’s a good idea. I can do some sightseeing!”

“Is that the only reason?” Sam knew Charlie wasn’t telling her everything.

“No, not entirely.”

“What happened?”

Charlie told Sam about her theory involving Lydia and the notes. She also told her that Emilie hadn’t believed her, and things had gotten heated.

“I think that’s a good idea, mate. No harm in taking a bit of time for yourself.”

“Do you think I’m overreacting?”

“I get why your first response would be to assume Emilie doesn’t believe you. Hell, it’s only recently you’ve been able to process and move on from what happened between you both at school. I’d just say not to make any rash decisions. If someone threw accusations against my friend, I would certainly need some time to mull it over. You guys need to work together to sort this out.”

“I just feel like I’m waiting for it all to fall apart again. It’s like, when it’s just the two of us, it’s amazing. All the feelings are there. It’s as if nothing has changed, but then other people get mixed in, and I feel like we’re not as strong as I thought. Have I rushed into this?”

“Take a breath, Char. Go camping and use the time to clear your head. Only you can decide what’s right for you.”

The drive to the campsite had been relatively silent. Jess knew something was off, but hadn’t pushed. Charlie needed to be careful. After all, Jess was Emilie’s friend, not hers.

“Wow, this place is amazing,” Charlie gushed. She wasn’t lying. The landscape they were travelling through was nothing short of magical. Snow capped the tall pine trees and covered the ground. Thankfully, the road had been gritted.

“This has got to be my favourite place in the world. Nothing beats it.”

“When did you move here?” Charlie asked. Jess had been kind enough to let Charlie come along. The least she could do was get to know the woman a bit.

“After the first tour with Em. My family is pretty shit. I only got grief whenever I went home. I started staying with Em on our breaks and I fell utterly in love with the place. It really wasn’t a hard decision.”

“Sorry about your family. I know how that goes.”

“Are you alright, Charlie? Look, tell me to sod off if I’m butting in, but I know there’s something going on. Emilie always comes to see me off before I go camping.”

Charlie chewed her lip. She wished she could pull her beanie over her head and hide away. “We had a bit of a fight last night.”

“Can I ask what about?”

“I’m not sure you’ll want to hear it.”

“Try me. I was serious when I said I wanted us to be friends.”

“Yeah, but the fight was about one of your other friends.”

“Lydia?” Jess sighed.

“Yeah.”

“Okay, come on out with it.”

“Did Emilie tell you about the notes I found?” It only occurred to Charlie in that moment that Jess may have no clue about the threats. She and Lydia had left before Sam discovered the paper in her bag.

“No, what notes?”

“I’ve had two notes threatening me. Well, actually one. The other threatened Sam, Anna, and the baby.”

“What?” Jess gasped, taking her eyes off the road to look at Charlie.

“Yeah. I found the first one under my drink glass at the pub the other night. It told me to stay away from Emilie or I’d be sorry. I dismissed it. Then Sam found a second note in her bag, threatening her family if she didn’t get me to stay away from Emilie.”

“And you think…”

“I think it’s Lydia. Emilie wasn’t inclined to agree, and we fought.”

“Fuck.” Jess remained silent after that, her face deep in concentration and contemplation.

“Do you think I’m full of shit, too?”

“Emilie said you were full of shit?” Jess asked, surprised.

“Not in those exact words.”

“Then she didn’t say it, Char. Cut Em a break. You know how she is about people betraying her.”

“Oh, yes, I’m intimately familiar.” Charlie couldn’t help the snark.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean you. Emilie is going to be gutted if what you think is true. You know that. She won’t make the same mistake as she did back then, though—of that I’m certain. If you need to hear it, I’ll say it. What she did to you is the single biggest mistake she ever made, and she’s regretted it from the moment she left Pickerton. I should know, I’ve had to deal with this for two bastard decades. Let her have a moment to accept that one of her oldest friends could have done something like this to the one person she has always loved. Can you do that?”

Charlie felt like an arsehole of the highest calibre. Instead of acting rationally, she’d let her old insecurities and anger take over, clouding her judgement and reaction.

“Well, thanks, Jess, I feel like a right dick now,” she laughed.

“I’ll always tell you how it is. That’s what friendship with me is. Listen, you came here to get to know her again and put some past shit to rest, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Then let it rest. Fuck, you’re both approaching forty. Let the schoolyard shit go.”

“Hey, we’re mid-thirties like you.”

“Stop kidding yourself. We’re closer to forty now. Own it,” Jess laughed.

“Alright, I hear you. You didn’t answer my question, though. Do you think I’m full of it with the Lydia theory?”

Jess blew out a massive breath. “Shit, I don’t want it to be true, but she’s always been crazy when it comes to Emilie.”

“Crazy enough to threaten me?”

“Maybe. I honestly don’t know. I know she wanted to leave pretty quickly the next day after the dinner party. Make of that what you will, I suppose.”

Charlie scrubbed her face with her hands, blowing out a frustrated breath. “Right. I’m not going to think about it for a bit. We’re here in this beautiful place and I want to enjoy it.”

“Great, because we have just arrived.”

Charlie cast her eyes out of the window. They pulled up to a small wooden hut.

“Give me a second to let them know we’re here and then we can go to the campsite.” Jess hopped out of the truck and headed inside. Now that Charlie had relaxed a little, she comprehended the magnitude of what she had got herself into. What was she thinking? There was nothing but trees all around them, and where there were trees there had to be bears and other animals that would most likely want to snack on Charlie’s body.

Oh, shit, Char, you really did it this time!

“Ah, I see the panic has set in,” Jess laughed as she climbed back into the truck. “Out of ten, how much are you regretting this now?”

“Twelve, that’s how much. Are there bears?”

“What is your obsession with bears? Yes, there are some around, but don’t worry. We have bear containers for our food, and we aren’t camping in tents.”

“We’re not?” Charlie squealed in delight.

“No, you fool, it’s like really fucking cold outside.” Jess laughed harder. “We have a little cabin and when I say little, I mean tiny. We will have to share a bed. You okay with that?”

“Fine, just don’t get handsy,” Charlie winked.

“God, someone thinks highly of themselves,” Jess tutted playfully.

“Well, yeah, have you seen me?” Charlie wiggled her eyebrows. Jess shook her head, laughing.

“Anyway,” Jess said, elongating the word. “We are safe from bears. So, you cool?”

“Totally, let’s do this.”

Jess manoeuvred the truck up a winding gravel path. There were several tiny cabins dotted around. After a minute of bumpy road, they finally stopped. The little wooden hut was cute. There was a picnic table and grill tucked around the side. The trees were dense, and the air smelled of pine and moss. Charlie took a second to breathe in that air, which was possibly the freshest she’d ever experienced. In the distance, Charlie could see a clearing.

“What’s through there?”

“Let’s dump all this and I’ll show you.”

A few minutes later, Charlie followed Jess through the trees to the opening. What lay before them was out of this world beautiful.

“Oh, my God,” Charlie gasped. The trees opened out, revealing an immense lake. There were snow-capped mountains in the distance. The water was so still and pure that it reflected the scenery as clear as a mirror. Above them circled what looked be to eagles. Had she stepped into a fucking movie set? “Jess, this… wow.”

“I know, right!”

Whipping her camera from her bag, Charlie set about snapping everything and anything. It had been a while since she’d felt this free with her photography. Usually, she was on such a tight schedule she rarely had time to enjoy the process at all. That had been different since being in Canada. The photos taken of Emilie and the gang had been a lot of fun, but nothing serious. Here in the woods, Charlie felt the rush of inspiration rain down on her. Taking landscape and wildlife photos was well out of her usual wheelhouse, but hell, she couldn’t wait to give it a go. Everything else could wait for a few days.

Eighteen

T he cabin was way too quiet for Emilie’s liking. Charlie had disappeared with Jess to go camping. Camping! Of all the things Emilie thought would happen, that was the last thing she would have ever guessed. Charlie couldn’t even take a stroll in the back garden without freaking herself out, for crying out loud!

The conversation—or disagreement—she’d had with Charlie was on a constant repeat in her head. Obviously, Emilie could understand why Charlie jumped to the conclusion that Lydia had left the notes. After the initial shock, it wasn’t unreasonable to think that. Lydia had done nothing but show disdain for Charlie. The thing was, Emilie just couldn’t see Lydia going that far.

Having not slept for most of the night, Emilie found herself in her music room. Being surrounded by her instruments and sheet music always comforted her. Even after Charlie left, she couldn’t find the strength to leave. In times like this, she oddly became inspired. Maybe it was the raw, unfiltered emotion? Whatever it was, Emilie had written several new songs.

Emilie also found herself looking back to their time at Pickerton. Charlie had said a few things last night about Lydia that Emilie was unaware of. Yes, she knew Lydia had never really taken to Charlie, but Emilie had never been told about the threats Lydia had supposedly doled out. Supposedly . Why had she instantly attached that word? If Charlie said it happened, there should be no “supposedly” about it. Why couldn’t Emilie ever just trust Charlie’s word? Out of every single person she knew, Charlie had never lied to or betrayed her. Was there something wrong with Emilie that she found it easier to trust untrustworthy people over her one constant source of comfort and security?

For once, Emilie had to give Charlie the benefit of the doubt. She owed her that much. Picking up her phone, Emilie dialled. “Buddy, hi, sorry to call again.”

“That’s what I’m here for, Emilie. Have you got an update?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure. I spoke to my friend and…well, she’s pretty convinced Lydia Beecham is responsible.”

“Okay, Lydia Beecham, isn’t she a friend of yours?”

“Yes, I’ve known her since school, but so has Charlie, my friend, who received the threats. It’s safe to say that Lydia has never liked Charlie.”

“Enough to send threats?” Buddy asked.

“Possibly. I really don’t know. I trust Charlie and if she’s saying it’s Lydia, I think it’s only right you should know.”

“You made the right choice. It could turn out to be nothing, but at least we will have followed the lead through. Give me a few days and I’ll dig into Lydia.”

“She was present each time a note was left.”

“Okay, that could be something, or it could be a coincidence. Leave it with me, alright? I suggest you don’t have any contact with Lydia until I’ve gotten to the bottom of it. Same for Charlie.”

Emilie laughed. “No chance of that happening.”

“Speak in a few days, Em.”

Good, okay, she’d done something positive. Her belly didn’t feel great about it, but that would pass, right? Sliding her phone across the window seat, Emilie stood up, taking her old guitar from its stand. The songs she’d written through the very lonely night were on repeat in her head, providing a strangely comforting background noise which helped dull her raging thoughts. Closing her eyes, she played. The melody was slow and painful. One song she’d written was about losing herself to insecurities.

On stage, Emilie Martin was the most confident woman on the planet. Nothing fazed her when she was standing in front of a crowd. Off stage was a different matter entirely. No doubt it all stemmed from her family. The world had some idea of the strife that had occurred between Emilie and her parents, but only her uncle, Jack, and Charlie knew the full account. For years, her parents had been stealing her money. Legally, they were supposed to have put all her earnings into a trust. Instead, they’d splashed out on houses, cars, Botox, and hookers.

Thankfully, her uncle had swooped in and saved her. He’d talked Emilie out of pressing charges because of how it would have looked. Nothing could impact Emilie’s image, not if she wanted to succeed. If faced with the same decision again, Emilie wouldn’t have listened. She would have filed charges. It had taken even more money for Emilie to separate herself from her parents. The entire experience had been traumatic, and it warped her relationships with other people.

Charlie was the only person who Emilie had been able to fully relax with after everything happened. Their friendship had started slowly, with Charlie being super shy. Emilie had been the one to push for it.

Jess came a close second, but Emilie still kept her at arm’s length even now. Lydia, well, Emilie had shared nothing very personal with her. It was all surface stuff; it always had been.

Even though Emilie was closing in on forty, the experience with her parents had left her insecure around others. That’s why she kept the same people around her, never really expanding her circle. If Lydia had sent those notes, then Emilie had once again trusted the wrong person. If that were the case, did she need to re-evaluate all her friends? Jesus, she felt like a paranoid bag of nerves.

The time passed quickly as Emilie played. By the end of the day, she’d written five new songs. No doubt Jack would cream his pants and insist she make a new album. Tucking her notes and sheet music into her diary, she slid it back into its hiding place. Emilie didn’t even fully trust Jack now. Who was to say he wouldn’t go snooping and find her recent work? There was nothing right about how she was feeling.

Three long days had passed, and Emilie had heard nothing from Charlie or Jess. Maybe that was a good thing. Hopefully Charlie was enjoying herself. Emilie had been productive and had written a handful of new songs on top of the ones she had written after the argument.

Tonight was the second small concert. It was to be held two towns over in a tiny jazz club. Emilie had been there a handful of times. It was an intimate setting, perfect for a private gig. Time was ticking by, and Emilie was getting nervous. Charlie had promised she would be back for tonight’s show, but there was no sign of her. Emilie would have to leave in an hour. Jesus, she hoped nothing bad had happened.

Visions of Charlie running through the forest, screaming as a bear chased her, sprung to mind. It shouldn’t have been funny, but it was. Poor Charlie. Hopefully, the camping experience hadn’t been too traumatizing. As her mind wandered, a set of bright car lights lit up the windows. Jack’s SUV pulled into the drive. Emilie had agreed that he could attend the show. He was her manager after all, but she’d reiterated that he wasn’t to do any promotional work.

“Hey,” he called, sliding out of his seat.

“Hey, how are you enjoying your break?”

“You were right, Em, I needed it. I’ve played some hockey with the guys. It’s been ages.”

“I’m really pleased to hear it.”

“So where is everyone?” he asked, peering around her shoulder into the house.

“Charlie and Jess went camping. They should be back any minute.” Emilie felt uneasy talking to Jack about Charlie.

“Oh, cool. They getting on well? Shit, is Jess banging your ex?” Jack looked far too pleased at the thought, causing Emilie to frown. Why has he got a problem with Charlie?

“Not that I know of. Why would you say that?”

“I heard Jess had a thing for her, that’s all. Anyway, you two are in the past, right?” He was fishing for information that Emilie was not going to give him.

“Come in, it’s cold,” Emilie replied, sidestepping his questions. The sound of tires crunching through the snow saved Emilie from any more of Jack’s probing questions. To Emilie’s utter relief, Jess’ truck came to a stop. The door flung open and a very happy-looking Charlie stepped out. Damn, what had happened to make her beam like that? Jack couldn’t be right, could he? Charlie wouldn’t sleep with Jess, not after everything.

“Charlie, hey,” Emilie said with gusto. She was not going to let on there had been an issue between them.

“Hey, honey, I’m home,” Charlie called, laughing at herself. Emilie laughed as Charlie swooped in, picked her up, and swirled her around. Wow, something good must have happened.

“Put me down, you idiot,” Emilie laughed. Releasing Emilie, Charlie stepped back, grinning. Her grin faded a tad when she spotted Jack.

“Oh, hi, Jack, sorry didn’t see you there.”

“No worries. Had a good time, you two?” Emilie wanted to boot him straight in his nuts. Not only was he smirking, he was waggling his eyebrows suggestively. God, men!

“We had a fantastic time, thanks. Why are you doing that with your eyebrows?”

Emilie wanted to kiss Charlie and laugh. Trust her to point out Jack’s not-so-subtle attempt at insinuating Charlie and Jess had been up to salacious things.

“Well…” he spluttered.

“So, Em, you had a good few days?” Charlie bypassed Jack entirely.

“Yup, but we’ll have to catch up later. You need to get ready.”

“Shit, yeah. Sorry about that. We got stuck behind a broken-down car,” Charlie said, rolling her eyes. Jess stepped up and dropped Charlie’s bags.

“Here you go, your majesty,” she mock saluted. “Next time get your own bloody gear,” she laughed.

Charlie levelled her signature grin that made Emilie instantly wet. “God, she gets grumpy when she needs food,” Charlie winked at Emilie, leaning in and kissing her on the cheek. “I’ll be ready in fifteen.” With that, she bounded up the stairs and disappeared into her room.

“Wow, she seems to have enjoyed herself,” Emilie laughed.

“She did. Once she got over her ridiculous fear of imminent death by bear, she settled. Honestly, I saw little of her. As soon as she got her camera out, she was off.” Emilie’s heart warmed at the thought of Charlie bounding around the forest, in her element, taking photos.

“Right, well, I’m grabbing a drink,” Jack muttered.

“I’m going to nip home and change. I’ll see you at the club.”

Emilie joined Jack in the kitchen. His drink turned into three as they waited for Charlie. The sound of feet jogging down the stairs pulled Emilie from any more awkward conversation. When had talking to Jack gotten so hard?

“Ready to rock and roll, or, in my case, take photos and drink,” Charlie grinned.

Jack slammed back his drink and headed for the door. Emilie rolled her eyes at Charlie’s raised eyebrows.

The club was packed by the time they arrived, which was a little surprising. The jazz club wasn’t huge, and it wasn’t in a big town. Cheers erupted when Emilie stepped onto the stage.

“Hello, everyone.” The crowd bellowed back. “Are you okay if I sing a few numbers?” Emilie asked playfully. The crowd cheered and Emilie took that as her cue to start. Throughout the show, Emilie kept her eye on Charlie, who was weaving around the crowd taking photos. Not just of Emilie, but of everything. The décor, the people, and the beer. Emilie smiled. She couldn’t wait to see what Charlie had captured.

Halfway through, Emilie announced a ten-minute break. Joining Jess at the little table they’d reserved, Emilie was more than surprised when Charlie gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and headed to the stage. What was happening?

“Evening all,” Charlie started, gaining the interest of everyone in the room. And why wouldn’t she? With tight-fitting black pants and a figure-hugging, sleeveless, high-neck top, Charlie looked stunning. Her hair was flowing freely, and her eyes glowed under the lights. Her tattoos were on full display, and she honestly looked like a piece of art. “I hope you don’t mind me gate crashing. I just thought I’d tickle some ivories for you whilst you wait for the incredible Emilie Martin to return.”

Was Charlie really going to perform? The crowd was enamoured. Just like Emilie. Charlie’s husky voice was bewitching.

Taking a seat at the bench of the piano that had been wheeled out, Charlie got herself comfortable.

She must have organized this for them to know she needed a piano.

Emilie couldn’t take her eyes off Charlie. “Okay, lovely people, here goes.” Charlie danced her fingers across the keys. “Now I’m no Emilie Martin, but I have been told I can hold a tune, so let’s see.”

Emilie couldn’t believe Charlie was going to sing. She never sang in front of people. Hell, she’d only let Emilie hear her a handful of times.

The opening bars to You and Me by Lifehouse echoed through the silent room. Tears pooled in Emilie’s eyes as Charlie sang. Her voice was low and gravelly. She sounded so sexy it hurt. Charlie poured out the lyrics with everything she had, and Emilie was gone, lost in Charlie’s voice. The minutes passed as Charlie played to the crowd. Emilie knew better, though. Charlie was playing to her. She knew it when Charlie’s eyes found hers as she sang the last few words.

And it’s you and me, and all of the people, and I don’t know why. I can’t keep my eyes off of you .

Emilie could feel people’s eyes on her as Charlie sang to her. She didn’t care, though, because Charlie had just given her the single most precious gift. Emilie would carry that song with her forever. With a quick “Thank you” down the microphone, Charlie rose from the bench. At last, the crowd seemed to break from Charlie’s spell and began whistling and cheering. Emilie didn’t know what to do. Her feet were glued to the floor.

Charlie hopped off the stage and headed straight for her. “Was that okay?” Charlie asked as she stopped a few centimetres from Emilie.

“Was that for me?” Emilie knew it was, but she needed to hear it from Charlie. After the upset of the past few days, she couldn’t afford to be wrong.

“Of course it was, Em,” Charlie murmured, her face even closer than it had been a few seconds ago. Emilie surged forward, capturing Charlie’s lips. All the passion she held for this woman poured out of her through that kiss. Charlie’s arms swept around her, and it felt so good. She was safe in Charlie’s arms. She was home.

Eventually, Jess cleared her throat. Emilie still had half a fucking show to do. How in God’s name was she supposed to concentrate now? Pulling herself away, she took a moment to look into Charlie’s eyes. What had changed in those three days?

“Em, get up there,” Jack growled. Trust him to piss all over her happy moment. Forcing her body to move, she slipped past Charlie and headed for the stage. There was no way to stop the red tinge on her cheeks as the crowd wolf whistled and cheered.

Four songs later and she was finally done. Charlie greeted her with a pint and a grin. “Let’s have this and then go home. We have some catching up to do,” Charlie whispered in her ear. Emilie’s entire body came alive at the promise of what was to come. Well, by Charlie’s intimation, it would be Emilie coming, and soon.

Never in all her years had she downed a pint faster. “Let’s go,” she called to Charlie as soon as the last drop had passed her lips. Charlie chuckled. Jack looked pissed.

“I’m not ready to go yet,” he shot, looking between Emilie and Charlie.

“That’s fine Jack, you can crash at mine. You’ve had too much to drink, anyway. I’ll drop you off in the morning to get your car,” Jess said before Emilie could murder him. She shot Jess a grateful look and practically dragged Charlie out of the club.

Charlie drove Emilie nuts the entire ride back. Her hand had gotten higher and higher up Emilie’s thigh the longer they travelled. If it weren’t for the fact her car wasn’t soundproof, she’d have ripped Charlie’s pants off and taken what she wanted. The car had barely stopped when Emilie yanked open the door, pulling a laughing Charlie along behind her.

Not even stopping to turn on the lights, Emilie continued in her quest to get Charlie upstairs and naked as quick as possible. Charlie was seemingly on the same page because Emilie suddenly found herself scooped up in Charlie’s arms.

“You weren’t going fast enough,” Charlie said, bounding up the stairs with her.

“Get naked, now,” Emilie demanded as soon as Charlie threw her on the bed. This was not going to be a night of slow and steady. Oh, no. Charlie didn’t need to be asked twice, and Emilie was in no mood to wait around. Silently and efficiently, they undressed in record time. Emily leaned over to her bedside table and took out her harness. It had been a very long time since she’d had the pleasure of wearing it.

Emilie hiked up the straps while Charlie looked on. Her eyes shone devilishly as Emilie fitted the dildo. “Get over here,” Emilie commanded. Charlie strode over in two long steps. Straddling her thighs, Charlie hovered over the toy. “Do you want lube?” Emilie asked.

“I don’t need it,” Charlie gasped as she lowered herself down. Emilie reached down and pressed the button on the base of the toy. Charlie’s eyes almost disappeared to the back of her head when it started vibrating. “Oh, yes,” Charlie panted.

“I can’t take my eyes off of you either,” Emilie whispered.

Nineteen

R aw pleasure coursed through Charlie as she lowered herself again onto the toy Emilie sported between her legs. With her hands cradling Emilie’s neck and their foreheads touching, Charlie rolled her hips, relishing in the fullness the dildo provided.

“Oh, Em,” she whispered. Not wanting to lose control too soon, Charlie continued her slow undulation.

“Wait,” Em gasped. “Charlie, stop.” Did Charlie hear that right?

“Hmm?” Charlie wasn’t in the headspace to understand anything. Her pleasure was spiking as she rode Emilie’s lap.

“Charlie, baby, wait.” Charlie felt Emilie still her movement.

“What’s wrong?” Had she missed something?

“Nothing, I want to do something.” Charlie leaned back to look in Emilie’s eyes. They were filled with lust and desire as much as her own.

“Em, you stopped me midway through fucking you because you want to do something?” Charlie was so surprised she laughed.

“Yes, now stand up.” This was interesting. At least Emilie kept Charlie on her toes. Gently extracting herself from the toy, Charlie rose and stood in front of Emilie. “Stand at the end of the bed.”

She’d stopped them so Charlie could go from the side of the bed to the end of it? Seriously?

Curiosity piqued, Charlie followed Emilie’s instructions.

“Okay, now face the mirror.” At the end of Emilie’s gigantic bed was a long floor mirror. Charlie turned to look at herself. There she stood in all her willowy nakedness, waiting to see what Emilie had planned for her. Whatever it was, she was already turned on. The fact she could see her own want glistening on her thighs proved that.

Looking at her own body didn’t phase Charlie. Over the years, she’d learned to love herself. Kim had helped her massively. The blonde bombshell was all about self-empowerment and love. Body positivity was hard to accept sometimes, but Kim often spoke to her friends about it.

Now Charlie could look at her reflection and see how good she looked. Her breasts weren’t huge but they were perky—a nice B cup. She loved her nipple bars. They added to her sensitivity. Charlie had them pierced for her own pleasure. Another thing Kim had discussed with her: doing things for oneself. Charlie loved her nipples tugging and flicking during sex. She loved doing it to herself when she masturbated, so the nipple bars were a present to herself and her future self-loving sessions.

Most people thought Charlie’s hair was her best feature. Maybe it was, but Charlie didn’t see that. Yes, she loved her hair. Of course, she knew it garnered attention, but, for Charlie, the best part of her body was her eyes. They dazzled.

In all her reverie, she hadn’t noticed Emilie shifting on the bed. Charlie felt her presence behind her. Turning her head from the mirror, she looked over her shoulder at Emilie, who was now sitting on the edge of the bed watching her.

“You are stunning, Charlie. I wanted you to see what I see. How unbelievably sexy you are—to the point it’s almost unbearable. I want you to watch as I take you, fuck you, until you are a quivering mess.”

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, where the hell had this Emilie been hiding?

“How do you want me?” Charlie would attempt anything Emilie wanted. Thankfully, she had always been adventurous in the bedroom, and she was pretty sure there wasn’t much that could shock her.

“I want you straddling my lap, but I want you facing the mirror.” Charlie could do that, no problem. Backing herself up to the edge of the bed, Charlie took Emilie’s hands and placed them on her hip.

“Keep me balanced,” she said as she stretched one leg backwards and then the other, kneeling on the bed above Emilie’s lap. Emilie held her tight as she manoeuvred herself into position. When she felt comfortable, Charlie stared back at the mirror. It was possibly one of the most erotic scenes she’d ever partaken in.

The reflection showed Emilie gripping one hip whilst the other slipped down to position the toy back at Charlie’s opening. Taking her cue, Charlie lowered herself once again. This time, though, she reached behind her to hold Emilie’s neck. The vision before her was one of pure euphoria. Legs spread wide over Emilie’s thighs, her hands thrown back, gripping Emilie, and her hips beginning their slow movements.

It took only seconds for Charlie to see stars. Emilie’s hand gripped her hip harder. The other hand lay palm down on the top of her back, anchoring her. Emilie thrust herself into Charlie. The combination of her rolling and Emilie’s thrusting almost brought her to tears of sheer joy.

“God, Charlie, do you see yourself? Do you see how fucking beautiful you are riding me?”

“Em…” Charlie panted, her breaths coming harder. She felt Emilie’s tongue trace her tattoos, felt her teeth nip at the art on her back. As the toy entered her deeper, she watched in fascination. She saw herself stretch, taking it in fully.

“I want to feel you all over me. I want you to come on my lap and then on my face. Do you want that, Charlie?” Charlie wanted nothing more. She never wanted this to end. Emilie Martin talking dirty to her was everything. Her body shook as she rode Emilie harder.

Emilie brought her hand round from Charlie’s back and began twisting and pinching Charlie’s nipple. That was it. That was all Charlie needed. The noise that escaped her throat was animalistic and powerful. Had she ever screamed in such rapture before? No, not like this. Emilie had extracted something from the very centre of her soul. She was playing Charlie like the strings of her guitar; so masterful, and with exquisite results.

Charlie’s eyes clamped shut. As much as she wanted to watch herself transform into the very notes Emilie was conducting, she couldn’t. The pressure in her body was too much, the lights dancing behind her eyes were blinding, and the music of her own orgasm deafened her to the world.

Charlie had never lost time before. Until now. She’d never been so encased in her own feelings that the minutes slipped by unnoticed. Until now. When she finally opened her eyes, she was lying on the bed, staring up into Emilie’s eyes.

“You are a goddess, Charlie Baxter,” Emilie whispered close to her lips. “I want to devour you, again and again.”

Charlie couldn’t even summon the energy to respond. It was taking everything she had to corral her brain into resembling some feeling of normalcy. Sex had never left her this scrambled. By the time she’d entered some sort of situational awareness, Charlie felt Emilie making her way down her body.

“I love your tattoos so much. I can’t get enough of them.” Emilie licked and kissed Charlie’s body art, worshipping every inch of inked skin. “Open up, baby,” Emily whispered, her face nuzzling into Charlie’s soft curls. Charlie was still addled, but instinctively, her legs opened.

“Fuck,” Charlie growled as Emilie swiped at her slit.

“You taste like honey,” Emilie cooed, lapping at Charlie softly, consuming her. Charlie shoved her head back into the bed. Emilie was torturing her, and she fucking loved it. This side of Emilie was a welcomed surprise.

“Emilie,” Charlie warned, her body feeling frenzied with need and anticipation.

“You come when I say you can come,” Emilie said sternly, causing another zip of carnal lust to shoot through Charlie’s pussy. Oh, fuck, Emilie dominating Charlie was on another level. They were usually quite equal when it came to sex, neither one commanding nor submitting, but now? Well, now Charlie was happy to submit. Emilie Martin could demand the world, and Charlie would endeavour to give it to her.

Charlie’s hips moved of their own accord. The pleasure radiating from her clit was immeasurable. Charlie willed herself to hold on, but it was becoming nigh on impossible with Emilie swirling and sucking Charlie’s clit and lips.

“Come now,” Emilie demanded, and Charlie exploded, electricity shot from her clit to every inch of her body. Her limbs shook and vibrated. Emilie slowed her ministrations as Charlie came down from the stratosphere.

Only the sound of their joined panting pierced the stillness of the room. Charlie stared at the ceiling until she could feel her body again. Blindly, she reached for Emilie, tugging at her to join Charlie in an embrace. Charlie couldn’t formulate the words needed to describe what she had just experienced. Instead, she hauled Emilie into her body and held her tightly.

Charlie blinked awake; the wet nose of Spud pressed into her cheek. Cracking open her eyelid, she looked deep into Spud’s black eyes. The rhythmic thump, thump, thump of her tail against the floor brought a chuckle to Charlie’s throat. Was there a more upbeat and happier dog in this world?

Peering over her shoulder, Charlie checked Emilie was still sleeping. Their night had stretched on until the early hours. Charlie could feel her muscles complaining as she shifted. Gently, Charlie scooted out of bed. Emilie groaned softly and turned onto her stomach; her head buried in her pillow. The light from the unobstructed window cast a ray of sunshine over Emilie’s bare back. She was a vision.

Creeping silently out of the room, Charlie rushed to get her camera. Spud could wait a few more minutes. Emilie hadn’t moved a muscle, allowing Charlie to capture her in all her beauty. The setting was perfect.

Happy with her shots, Charlie set the camera down, leaned over, and peppered Emilie’s back with soft kisses. Still, she didn’t move. A smile spread across Charlie’s face. This is what she wanted. All the other stuff didn’t matter, not if it meant Charlie couldn’t share her life with the woman that had captured and kept her heart for decades.

After letting Spud out, Charlie set about cooking breakfast. The simple task allowed her time to gather her thoughts. They needed to talk. Charlie had to tell Emilie how she was feeling. She needed to know how Emilie felt in return.

Putting the tray of scrambled eggs and pancakes on the edge of the bed, Charlie climbed back under the covers and pulled Emilie into her. Emilie sighed and gripped Charlie’s hand.

“Morning, sunshine,” Charlie said, kissing the side of Emilie’s head.

“Mmm.”

Charlie laughed, doubling her efforts to wake a very sleepy Emilie. Biting her earlobe seemed to have the desired effect.

“Hey, I was sleeping,” Emilie grumbled.

“But I made you breakfast,” Charlie pouted. Emilie’s grin told Charlie she’d won. Slowly, Emily opened her eyes.

“Ugh, fine. I suppose I’ll get up then.”

“I didn’t say get up, just sit up so you can eat. We burned a shit ton of calories last night,” Charlie smirked.

Emilie laughed and sat up. Charlie brought the tray of food over and placed it on Emilie’s lap. Nerves had started to circle Charlie’s tummy. The last thing she wanted was to burst their sex bubble, but they needed to clear the air.

“Em, can we talk?” Emilie stopped chewing and cast her gaze to Charlie.

“Sure,” she replied.

“I’m sorry I ran off into the woods after we had words. I acted impulsively. Remember when I said that we’d grown up and gained some wisdom since we were last together?” Emilie nodded. “Well, maybe not so much,” Charlie laughed. “I let my seventeen-year-old self control me that day. Of course you were right to question me. I’d just accused one of your oldest friends of something very serious. If the situation were reversed, I would have absolutely done the same thing.”

“I wasn’t calling you a liar, Charlie—”

“I know. I jumped the gun. I still think Lydia is involved. I know I don’t have proof, but I can feel it in my gut. There are too many coincidences. I won’t, however, expect you to blindly believe me. This is a delicate situation. Em, at the end of the day, I just want us to be okay.”

“Just okay?”

“No, you know I want more than that. Fuck, Em, there’s no way we will ever just be friends. We both knew that going into this right? When you asked me to come here and work for you, I knew full well the invite had bugger all to do with working. We came into each other’s lives again and we both wanted more.”

“Well, you have been working,” Emilie smiled.

Charlie rolled her eyes. “Yeah, okay, I took a few shots for you, but can you honestly tell me that’s why you had me trek across the bloody ocean?”

“No, obviously not. Charlie Baxter, you haven’t left my thoughts in all the time we’ve been apart. No matter what I did, I could never rid myself of your beautiful face.”

“Did you want to rid yourself?”

“Yes, because it was so painful to have those memories of you and know I’d fucked everything up.”

“But we’re here now, Emilie. I don’t want us to make the same mistake as before. We let other people interfere and it broke us. I won’t let that happen again. When I was in those woods—yes, shitting myself mostly at the thought of Yogi Bear coming along and eating me—I had time to stop and really look at myself. I was just as much to blame back then. I should have stuck by you. I should have realised you were taking it out on me because you were terrified. I should have fought more.”

“No, you shouldn’t have, Charlie, don’t you see? You should never have to fight to have your loved ones believe and respect you. I let you down and I swear I will never do it again. Whatever happens with the threats, whether or not we find out it’s Lydia, I’m here with you. We’ve waited too long. It’s time we both got what we want, and that’s being together, right?”

“I’ve wanted nothing more in my life.” Charlie took Emilie’s face in her hands and inhaled her. “It’s you and me, Em.” They closed the gap, their lips parting as they sealed their promise with a kiss.

“Right, now we’ve got all that out of the way, can I have some coffee? Some of us have been up for ages, slogging away in the kitchen,” Charlie huffed playfully. Emilie pinched her nipple before sliding back and shoving a fork full of eggs in her mouth.

Emilie’s phone buzzed on the bedside table. Jess’s name scrolled across the top.

“Hey,” Em called down the line. She’d put the phone on loudspeaker so she could continue eating. Charlie nabbed a piece of pancake from her plate, earning her another nipple pinch.

“Em, I think you’d better turn on your TV or look at your social accounts,” Jess said sternly.

Charlie reached for her own phone and brought up the local news.

Oh, shit .

A video of last night’s gig had gone viral. Charlie swallowed thickly. Emilie was going to hit the fucking roof. Knowing it was futile to keep the video from her, Charlie turned her phone. Emilie’s face turned from confusion to rage instantly. Someone had filmed and leaked the concert.

Clicking on the remote, Charlie pulled up the news. To her own disbelief, Charlie watched as newscasters around the country reported on Emilie Martin’s secret concerts. Footage showed journalists and fans alike descending on the local towns that surrounded Emilie’s cabin. They both watched on as a woman who looked to be a fan was interviewed live on air.

“So tell me, why have you travelled all this way?” the reporter asked the giddy woman, who was flushed in the face.

“Oh my God, as soon as we heard Emilie was doing these little concerts we had to come. I’ll pay anything to see her. I heard she’s singing new songs, maybe for her new album,” the woman squealed. Charlie muted the TV.

“Em?” she said gently. Emilie was staring at the TV with a blank look on her face.

“Em?” Jess’s voice rang out. Charlie picked up the phone and took it off speaker.

“Jess, get over here and call Jack. Do these people know where she lives? If so, get some sort of fucking security here now.” Charlie put the phone down and turned back to Emilie. “Em, honey, talk to me.” Charlie was getting worried. Emilie hadn’t uttered a word. Charlie moved the forgotten breakfast tray out of the way and positioned herself in front of Emilie. “Emilie,” Charlie barked. The sudden noise pulled Emilie out of her head.

“What the hell, Charlie?”

“I know. Look, Jess is on her way over with Jack and security. Does the press know where you live?”

“The local press for sure. I’ve never hidden away. The national press has never had much interest in camping out here, especially in the winter.”

“Well, I think that’s about to change, babe. This video is just the beginning.”

“No one in the jazz club would have done this, Char. I know these people. They were all local. None of them have an interest in attracting the press to me.”

“Well, someone did. Whoever posted that video has made it look like an advert for a new album. If not an album, they’ve definitely used it to create buzz around you.”

Suddenly Emilie’s features grew dark. A raging storm was building behind her eyes. “He wouldn’t have,” she whispered.

Charlie looked at her, confused. “Who wouldn’t have?”

“Jack,” Emilie growled.

“You think he did this? Organised it?”

“Who else? Who else benefits from this?”

Charlie almost felt sorry for Jack. If he had done this against the strict instructions of Emilie, he was in for a world of hurt. Charlie watched Emilie’s shoulders sag.

“I just wanted to do one thing for me. I just wanted to control this one thing,” she cried. “Now I’m going to have to deal with all this. The people of those towns are going to have to cope with intrusive reporters and fans.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. We’ll deal with this, Em. You have me, okay, and Jess. No matter what, remember—it’s you and me. I’ve got you.”

Twenty

E milie didn’t need to see Jack to know he was the one who had sent the footage to the press. There wasn’t anyone else who would have done it. The people of the local towns had no motive. The last thing they would want were thousands of people turning up to badger them about Emilie’s shows. The only person this situation served was Jack.

Hot raging fury burned her skin as she sat in her living room waiting for Jack to arrive. How could she have been so stupid? She’d seen the signs long ago! Every time he pushed her, did sly things behind her back, he was showing Emilie who he really was. Fuck, why hadn’t she seen this coming?

For most people, having a show leaked to the press wouldn’t be a big deal, but for Emilie, it was the epitome of her worst nightmare. Someone had lied and betrayed her yet again. Not just someone—Jack—her friend.

The front door opening with a crash startled her. Jess rushed in, looking pissed off and bedraggled. “Jesus, Em, it’s bad out there. You’ve got half the country’s bloody media trying to get to your front door.”

“Shit,” Emilie growled. Not only had Jack betrayed her trust, he’d also stripped her of her privacy. The cabin was her safe space, the place she could just be herself, not the great Emilie Martin. Being home was sacred, and Jack had sullied it with his greed.

“Don’t panic too much. Lola and the team are set up. No one will get past her, you know that.” Jess laughed.

Lola Arnold was Emilie’s head of security. Lola was simply terrifying. Being former military, she’d seen more battles than anyone ever should. Her persona screamed, “I will hurt you”, and her body was jacked. Emilie had known she was the right person for the job the second she’d laid eyes on the woman.

It was funny, though, because Lola definitely looked like she could rip someone’s head clean off; however, when Lola opened up and warmed to a person, she was delightful. Oh, she’d still fuck them up if necessary. No doubt about that, but she was a kind, gentle, and lovely woman underneath it all.

Once Lola had been hired, she banded together her own team, informing Emilie she would only work with people she knew and trusted. Emilie could definitely understand that mentality.

“Where’s Jack?” Emilie asked, only just realizing that Jess was alone.

“I rang him a dozen times, Em. He didn’t pick up.”

“I bet he didn’t,” Emilie seethed.

“It was him, right, the one who set all this shit in motion?” Jess wasn’t really asking, but Emilie nodded her confirmation anyway. “Fucking idiot.”

“I don’t understand why, though,” Charlie interjected from the couch next to Emilie. “I mean, surely he knows you’re going to figure it out, right?”

“Of course, but my guess is he’s going to stay out of the way until he thinks Emilie is calm enough to talk her round to his way of thinking,” Jess replied.

“How often does he do that?” Charlie asked, raising her eyebrows.

“Too fucking often,” Jess said.

“Can you stop talking about me like I’m not here?” Emilie shot.

“Em, come on. This is his M.O. I’d say it’s been the last year that he’s really been pushing his luck. But you have to admit, he always talks you around.”

Emilie hated that Jess was right. She had let him get away with behaving that way. Probably because she thought, underneath it all, he was still her friend and wouldn’t really hurt her. How wrong she was.

“And this time, what will you do?” Charlie asked Emilie. That was the question, wasn’t it?

“Nothing until I’ve spoken to him.” Snatching up her phone, she hit Jack’s contact. It rang several times before going to voice mail. “Jack, it’s Emilie. You have exactly one hour to get to my house. If you are not here in that time, you’re fired. I will instruct Rick to process your severance paperwork.”

Jess and Charlie watched silently. Emilie calmly pushed the red End Call button and placed her phone down next to her leg on the couch.

Fifty-two minutes later and Emilie’s door opened again. Jack walked in with the air of a man about to be hung, drawn and quartered. Charlie sat close to Emilie, Jess having already left to follow up with Lola.

“Em, darling, I got here as soon as I heard.”

“Well, that’s bullshit,” Charlie huffed.

“I don’t believe this involves you, Ms. Baxter. Would you mind leaving me with my client?” Jack shot.

Emilie looked at Charlie and nodded. She was more than capable of dealing with this. Plus, Charlie wouldn’t go far, a fact that helped Emilie keep her courage. Once Charlie had left the room, Jack snapped his attention to Emilie. “Em, I can sort all of this out. We’ll get to the bottom of it.”

“Are you telling me this wasn’t your doing, Jack?”

“Emilie, how could you think that?”

“You swear to me, Jack. On our friendship, you swear this wasn’t you.”

“Emilie—” he began.

“Before you answer, please know that I intend to throw a lot of money at this. I will hire whoever I need in order to trace the source of that video. If you tell me this wasn’t you and I find out you lied today, I will come for everything you have. Do you understand? This is your chance to tell me the truth. I will listen to you, but only if you’re honest with me.” Emilie saw Jack’s mind work. His cogs were turning, trying to figure out the best way to deal with her.

“Okay, look, I sent the video. But only because the show last night was gold, Emilie. You were so relaxed and happy. I just wanted the fans to see that. They adore you. I know you keep telling me you don’t want to start a new album, but I wish you would listen to me when I say the time is now. You are at your peak. You are more popular than ever. Every bit of attention we can get only drives up sales, sells tickets…ensures your legacy. I know you’ve been writing new songs. You are ready for a new album, Em. I know I push too much, but it’s for your own good. Don’t you see? I only ever do things to help you.”

Emilie sat in silence, allowing her brain to process. Did he do it for her own good? Could she really believe that? No, not anymore, not after she’d asked him several times not to make her little town tour public knowledge. She’d explained her reasons for wanting to keep it private and he had willingly ignored her in favour of creating lucrative opportunities—ones she didn’t ask for.

Jess was right. This was his M.O. He would do whatever suited him and then worm his way back into Emilie’s good graces. And why wouldn’t he? Emilie allowed him to do it every damn time. But could she really fire him? Jack had been her manager for…well, forever. They’d travelled this road together and at times he had been a godsend to her. He was a damn good manager, but now? Not so much. If it weren’t for the fact that Emilie and Jack were friends, she would have moved on from him a long time ago and Emilie guessed Jack knew that, too.

Fuck, why couldn’t she decide? Because she didn’t trust herself, that’s why. What would Charlie do? Yes, that’s what Emilie needed. She needed to talk to Charlie.

“Jack, can you issue a statement to the press? Reiterate that I am not producing a new album yet and there will be no more concerts. This is your mess, so clean it up.”

“On it,” Jack chirped. Emilie knew he believed she’d forgiven him as usual. Jack bounded out of the house with a skip in his step.

“Charlie?” Emilie shouted. Her body lacked the energy needed to scour the massive house looking for her. Seconds later, the rhythmic thumps of Charlie running down the stairs echoed around the silent house.

“Hey, how’d it go?” Charlie asked, parking herself next to Emilie, her arm snaking round her waist and instantly making Emilie feel better.

“He did it. He gave me the same tired reasons. It was all for me, blah, blah, blah.”

“Okay, so what did you say?”

“Nothing. I needed to talk to you.”

“Me, why?”

“Because you are my calm, Char. My head is spinning with all this. Jess is right. I would normally let him talk me around. I think I’m scared to fire him. He’s been with me forever. If he goes, what then? I have to find someone else—someone I don’t know.”

“Maybe that’s a good thing, Em,” Charlie began. “You know the one reason I hated most of the girls in school?” Emilie shook her head. “Because they only ever saw you as the rising star. Jack is the same. I’m not refuting that he has probably been a skilled manager. Together, you’ve built an empire. But now you’re not on the same page, and instead of seeing you as his friend, as just Em, he is still seeing you as the star—the one that he can profit from. It’s worse because he knows your history. He understands how hard it is for you to trust, and he plays on that.”

“What would you do?” Emilie asked, her voice smaller.

“You know what I would do. If this were someone under my employ, he would have been kicked to the curb. I’m all for second chances, but I think you’re way beyond that, Em.”

“Why do I keep surrounding myself with people like this, Charlie?” Emilie sobbed.

“You don’t. Those people ingratiate themselves into your life. I believe Jack had all the right intentions to begin with, but now, well, now he’s out for himself.”

Charlie was right; of course she was. The path ahead was finally clear enough for Emilie to decide. The sound of Jack on the phone filtered through the house. He stepped through the door, looking satisfied.

“It’s all sorted, Em, the press are clearing out. Now, what do you say to a drink?”

Standing from the couch, Emilie squared her shoulders. Charlie, standing next to her, gave Emilie that extra support she needed.

“Jack, you’re fired.” She hadn’t meant to just blurt it out, but watching the man saunter over to her drink cabinet like nothing had happened really pissed her off.

“What?” Jack looked as if he’d misheard what she’d said, even though it wasn’t possible.

“You’re fired.”

“You can’t… Em, come on.”

“No, you’re not talking me around this time. I warned you, time and time again.”

Jack’s face flushed, his eyes darting from Emilie to Charlie. “This is you, isn’t it?” he raged. Emilie flinched. She shot a look at Charlie, who hadn’t batted an eyelid. If anything, she stood taller.

“This is me what?” Charlie asked calmly.

“You! You’ve come here and wheedled your way in. Turned her against me!” he bellowed.

“Are you hearing yourself, man? Get a grip. You screwed the pooch here, fella, not me.”

“You wait until your uncle hears about this, Emilie.”

“What has he got to do with it?” Emilie shot. It had been a long, long time since her uncle played a part in her career.

“He knows I’m the best in the business. Call him. You need some sense talked into you.” Jack stood with his hands on his hips.

Alright, if that’s what he needed, Emilie would give it to him. “Fine, I’ll call him.” The line rang three times before her uncle’s voice sounded over the phone.

“Em, how are you, love? You enjoying the break? Although I see you’re in the news already.”

“Hi, Uncle Brandon, it’s good to hear your voice.” It really was. Emilie cringed at the time she’d allowed to slip by without contacting him. Maybe if she’d been better at that, she wouldn’t be where she was right now.

“Brandon, hi,” Jack shouted.

“Jack, my boy.”

“Hi, Uncle Brandon,” Charlie chirped, causing Emilie to snicker. “Sorry, I was feeling left out,” she whispered to Emilie with a wink.

“Who’s that?” Brandon laughed.

“Um, do you remember Charlotte Munroe?”

“Yeah, the name rings a bell… Pickerton, right? Oh, wow, you guys reconnected.”

“Yeah, something like that, Brandon,” Charlie chuckled. “I go by Charlie now, though. Just for the record, I did not sell your niece out to the press, just in case there was any lingering doubt.”

“Jesus, I’d forgotten all about that. Well, if Emilie is fine with you, then I have no grudge to hold. What’s the call for, Em?”

“I’ve fired Jack,” Emilie said matter-of-factly.

“Because Charlie here has been getting into her head,” Jack bellowed, his chest puffing out.

“Oh, shut up,” Charlie scoffed. “How about you let Emilie tell her uncle why she fired you?”

“Em? What’s going on, kid?” Brandon asked, his tone no longer jovial.

Emilie wasted no time telling her uncle about all the times Jack had crossed the line. She saw several times when Jack had clearly wanted to interrupt, but Charlie had held up her hand and glared at him. Finally, Emilie finished speaking.

“Brandon, you must agree that as Emilie’s manager, it’s my job to push. I have to be the proverbial bull in a china shop to get things done. Look where we are—how successful Emilie is,” Jack said.

“I agree with that, Jack,” Brandon started. Emilie’s breath hitched. Shit, had she made a mistake firing him? “But what you’ve done has gone far beyond that, boy.” The use of “boy” rang through the air like a bullet. “After twenty years, Jack, I can’t believe what I’m hearing.”

“Brandon—” Jack stuttered.

“No. Emilie is right to fire you. I just don’t understand what has taken her so long. You were an excellent manager, Jack, because you always had Emilie’s best interest at heart. When did that change, hmm?”

“That hasn’t changed, Brandon. Emilie, you’re my chief priority.”

“If that were the case, Jack, you would have done as she asked. Instead, you went behind her back. Worse, you leaked to the press. Why?” Brandon demanded.

Jack was almost purple. Emilie was a little worried that he was about to pass out. “Emilie has to create another album. I’ve already signed a deal. If she doesn’t, I’m on the hook,” he blurted. Emilie’s eyes became saucers.

“What do you mean, you’ve signed a deal? Only I can sign, Jack, you’ve never had that power.”

“I…I forged the documents, okay? You are contracted for at least one new album next year.”

“You did what?” Charlie hissed, her hands curling into fists.

“The payout is immense, Emilie, it was too good to pass up,” Jack rushed.

“Get out,” Emilie heard herself say. “Get. Out. Now!”

Jack looked at Emilie, his eyes scanning her face. “You heard her,” Charlie added. Emilie watched as her friend of twenty years slinked out of the house.

What in the world? This was unreal. Jack didn’t do these kinds of things. Charlie must have anticipated the questions that were rolling around in her head.

“People change, Em. Especially when money is involved,” Charlie said, gently kissing her head.

“Em, love, I’m going to catch the next flight out. We have things to take care of. Charlie, look after her until I arrive.”

“I’ve got her, Brandon, no worries.” And Emilie did know Charlie had her. After Jack’s revelation, Emilie should be freaking out. She should be panicking, but with Charlie’s strong arms holding her as they were now, the anxiety and panic were kept at bay.

“Here you go, my famous hot chocolate,” Charlie smiled, handing Emilie the biggest mug she’d ever seen. Was it hers? She couldn’t recall seeing that monstrosity in her cupboard. “I bought the mug the other day. Look, it’s got a moose on it.” Emilie had to laugh at Charlie’s excitement.

Not sure how she was going to tackle the behemoth mug piled high with whipped cream and chocolate chips, Emilie took her lead from Charlie, who unceremoniously shoved her face into the cream, lapping it up with her tongue. Damn, Emilie wanted to be that whipped cream.

“Stop staring. I’ll do this to you later. Drink your hot chocolate before it gets cold.”

Grinning at the promise of naughty things to come, Emilie ate as much cream as she could before sipping the drink. She spluttered as the powerful aroma of alcohol hit her nose milliseconds after she’d taken a big gulp.

“Boozy hot chocolate…proven to make everything feel better,” Charlie laughed.

“What booze is in it?”

“Spiced rum. Nice, right?” Yeah, it was nice. It was damn strong, too. “You coping with all this?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure. I’m astounded by Jack’s conduct. I hope Uncle Brandon can help me get out of the contract. He messaged me to say he was heading directly to the record label offices to straighten it all out.”

“It’s fraudulent. I can’t see how they would enforce it. Don’t fret, Brandon will get it worked out.”

“Then there’s the fact that I need to find a new manager,” Emilie added on.

“Brandon will help with that, too. I wish I could be more use, babe, but this is outside my purview. Now, if you need a picture taken of your new manager, I’m your gal,” she winked.

“Charlie, you’re helping more than you know,” Emilie said, her hand finding Charlie’s.

“I’ll do anything you need, Em. Sincerely. Just ask, okay?” Emilie nodded and had to take a moment to stop herself from tearing up. “Maybe you should wait a little before hiring a new manager?”

“Why would I wait?”

“Because I think you need some time to figure out what your future holds…musically, I mean. From what you’ve said, you’re feeling burned out.”

“It’s true. I love what I do, but I haven’t rested properly in years.”

“So take the time you need to rest and figure it out. You’re Emilie Martin. There will always be people lining up to work for you. You don’t have to rush this.”

Emily sat with Charlie’s words. Could she take a step back? Was this the time for her to focus on what she really wanted? Hell, she’d been saying it for so long, but she’d never actually gotten the chance to do it. What could the future hold for Emilie Martin, superstar?

Twenty-One

W ell, what a heap of dramatic bullshit the last few days had been. Charlie was about ready for a holiday. Emilie was holding up remarkably well, she thought. If Charlie had just had to dismiss one of her best friends like that, she’d be arse-deep in a bottle of the strong stuff. Not Emilie though, she’d kept her poise. Charlie could see she was hurting, but she was doing her very best to put on a brave face.

Four days had passed since Jack’s dismissal. The press had vacated the area pretty sharpish. At least Jack did one thing right. There was the odd fan still lingering about which Charlie expected. The sad part about it all was that she could now see how lonely this life had been for Emilie. It hurt Charlie to think of all the times Emilie had dealt with this sort of thing alone.

Charlie had done her very best to give Emilie what she needed. That had ranged from cooking her dinner to lending her a shoulder to cry on. It had also involved lots of sex. Sad Emilie was a horny Emilie. Charlie kind of understood how Sam felt when Anna became a sex machine. Charlie was knackered. Whenever Emilie seemed to have a thought or emotion she couldn’t quite process, she jumped Charlie’s bones. Evidently, she had a lot of feelings and emotions she couldn’t get to grips with.

“We’re going to need more lube,” Charlie muttered to herself as she lay in Emilie’s bed. Emilie had fallen asleep half an hour ago after a very lively session that had pushed even Charlie’s experiences. The morning was almost over, and Charlie had certainly worked up an appetite. Crawling out of bed, she headed to the kitchen to rustle up some food for them both. Emilie wouldn’t wake, Charlie knew that much. As soon as Emilie was spent, she passed out.

Spud lay half on her bed and half off, upside down, with her tongue hanging out. Charlie laughed and scratched her belly. “I’ll take you out soon, girl. I know we’ve been holed up in here for too long. How about a nice stroll in the woods? As long as you’re on bear duty. Deal?” Spud wriggled her back and thumped her tail. That was good enough for Charlie. A deal was struck.

Placing a steaming bowl of pesto pasta on the bedside table, Charlie set about trying to wake Emilie. It wasn’t a delicate process. After the third soft poke, Charlie had to get a little rougher. “Waaaakee Uuuuuup,” Charlie shouted, laughing when Emilie blinked rapidly.

“Wassup,” she mumbled into the pillow.

“Babe, food. We need to eat, and then I’m taking Spud out for a walk.”

“No need to shout,” Emilie moaned, her eyebrows creasing.

Charlie let out a bark of laughter. “Em, it’s nearly impossible to wake you up after sex. I’ve been at it for ten minutes.”

Emilie grinned, “Well, honey, you do such a good job of wearing me out.”

“Ditto. Now, enough flirting. Get that down your chops. Do you want to come for a walk after?”

“I’m going to spend some time in the music room, if you don’t mind.”

“Go forth and make beautiful music, babe,” Charlie said between forkfuls of pasta.

They ate in silence, but they always touched in one way or another. Charlie liked this routine they’d fallen into. Okay, not so much the constant acrobatic sex—honestly, she could do with a day off—but the rest of it was just what she always wanted. They had this comfortable ease about them. After their talk and the whole “Jack being a twat” debacle, they’d slipped into domestic bliss. Emilie often took herself to her music room to write. Charlie would grab her camera and snap pictures of Emilie in her element. Overall, she’d gotten a great selection of photos for Emilie to display around the house.

“Alright, I’m going to shower and take Lady Muck out. We’ll only be about half an hour.” Since Charlie’s foray into the wilds of Canada with Jess, her nervousness had reduced dramatically. She wasn’t stupid enough to discount the threat of death by bear entirely, but she wasn’t jumping out of her skin as soon as she heard a noise.

The shower helped soothe her aching body a little. Donning her warmest clothes, she prepared herself for the brisk outdoor adventure she was about to take with her special girl.

“Come on, you, let’s go chase some squirrels.” Spud shot to her feet as soon as the S -word had been spoken. Charlie giggled as Spud spun in circles, waiting for Charlie to open the door.

There was still plenty of snow on the ground. Emilie had paid to have certain trails salted. That way, Charlie could go out by herself and not get lost. It seemed a hundred years ago since Charlie was stomping around London, lost in the busy city, surrounded by thousands of strangers. When she first came to Canada, she’d missed the hustle and bustle of the city, but now she couldn’t think of anything she’d hate more. The silence here was wonderful. It wasn’t creepy. There was always some sort of noise, like a bird or a squirrel. Maybe it was the silence that accompanied vast amounts of snow. Everything felt more peaceful in the snow.

Spud zoomed around Charlie, unable to contain her delight at being unleashed in her favourite playground. Charlie pulled out her phone. She had a little signal, but it wasn’t great. It had been a few days since she’d spoken to Sam and she was eager to catch up. Charlie didn’t enjoy talking to Sam about everything that had happened when Emilie was around. She felt as if she were gossiping, but that wasn’t the case. Sam, Anna, Kim, and Hélène were all genuinely worried about both of them.

“Hey, Sam, can you hear me?” she asked through her phone.

“Just about. You okay?” Sam replied. She sounded like she was in a tunnel.

“All good, mate. Just a quick check in. I’m walking Spud.”

“No Em?”

“Nah, she’s writing. Spud and myself were going a little stir crazy so we’re just hiking one of the small trails.”

“Look at you talking about ‘hiking trails’. Where has my scared city dweller gone?” Sam laughed.

“She’s still in here, just not as loud,” Charlie grinned.

“Any updates?” Sam asked. Charlie knew that was code for “Have you had any crazy threats?” which, thankfully, was a no. Charlie guessed that once the person *cough…Lydia* realised the threats hadn’t scared Charlie away, they’d tucked tail and left.

“No, all quiet on the western front.”

“Isn’t Quebec on the east side?”

“Well, yeah, but I’m west of you!” Charlie tutted.

“Anyway, now the geography lesson is over, what’s your plan? Have you got a clue when you’ll be back?”

“Nope. I’ll talk to Em about her plans. She’s still taking time off. I thought maybe we could head back to her cottage in Pickerton. Gives me a chance to catch up on everything without us being thousands of miles apart.”

“Have you thought about that long-term, mate? Surely, at some point, Em’s going to get back out on tour or whatever.”

Charlie had considered this. They hadn’t spoken about it because Emilie was still dealing with everything else. In Charlie’s mind, there was no reason they couldn’t figure something out. Sure, Emilie could go on tour, but Charlie also travelled a fair bit for work, too. They would have to accommodate each other and compromise. They could do that, though. Hell, they’d planned to do that at seventeen. Surely, they were more than capable now in their thirties.

“We have time, Sammy. I know that whatever happens, I’m with her. We haven’t had the ‘big talk’. I don’t think we need it. She’s my Emilie and I’m her Charlie—”

“She’s my Emilie,” a voice rang out. Charlie swung round to see who had spoken, but she was met with something hard crunching into the side of her head. Her eyes clouded. Another hit to her back brought her to her knees. The edge of her vision was turning black. Everything around her tilted on its axis. It was the second blow to her head that finally took her down. Desperately, Charlie tried to move. She willed her legs to work. Why couldn’t she get up?

The weight of another body crushed her to the snowy forest floor. “She is mine .” The voice growled. Charlie wanted to move her head. She wanted to look into the eyes of that cold and vicious voice. She wanted to fight back, but it was impossible. Another blow hit her body.

Oh God, I’m going to die .

As the world faded, Charlie heard Spud in the distance. She felt the extra weight leave her broken body. And then everything went dark.

“Charlie, Charlie, can you hear me?”

Who was that? The voice sounded so far away.

“Charlie, it’s okay, paramedics are coming. Oh, baby, what happened?”

The voice faded, and Charlie again heard nothing.

What is that fucking noise? Can anyone else hear the incessant beeping?

Charlie’s head was pounding. Everything was still dark, but she could hear something. What was it? She couldn’t tell. Where was she? The potent smell of cleaning product assaulted her nose. Why couldn’t she see?

Are my eyes shut?

Beep, beep, beep, beep.

There it is again, the fucking beeping. Can someone shut it off? Hello?

Something wasn’t right. Charlie could sense something bad had happened, but what? Fuck, why couldn’t she remember?

Everything went quiet again, everything faded into nothing.

“Charlie, baby, can you open your eyes now, please? Baby, please,” the voice pleaded. Charlie heard the desperation.

I know that voice. Emilie—my Emilie. I’m alright, Em, I’m here.

“Why isn’t she waking up? It’s been two days, she should be awake,” Emilie’s voice sobbed.

“She’ll wake up,” a second voice replied confidently.

Sam. That’s Sam’s voice. What is she doing here? I am awake, guys. Aren’t I?

“Oh, God, I can’t lose her, Sam, not now. Not after just getting her back.”

“Charlie is strong. She’s a fighter, you know that. The doctor sai…”

What? The doctors said… what? Why can’t I hear? Why am I so tired?

Beep, beep, beep.

I am going to murder someone if they don’t turn that fucking beeping off!!

“Charlie, did you speak? Baby, can you open your eyes?”

“Mmm.”

That was a sentence, right? Come on, Charlie, for Christ’s sake!

“Sam… Sam , I think she’s waking up.” Charlie heard the sound of a chair scuffing the floor.

Open your goddamn eyes, Charlie!

Summoning all her energy, Charlie cracked open one eye. The light from above her instantly made her slam it shut again.

“Em, turn the light off. It’s too much. Come on, Char, open those panty-dropping eyes you’ve got.” Charlie felt herself laugh. Her body moved slightly and fuck did it hurt.

“Did she just laugh?” Emilie whispered.

“I knew we would have to resort to stroking her ego to get her to wake up. Jeez, Charlie, dramatic much?”

Charlie opened her eye again. The light was off, but it was still daytime because the sun shone through the window. Two fuzzy figures stood on either side of her.

“There she is,” Emilie sobbed. Charlie felt Emilie’s lips touch her cheek. She desperately wanted to take Emilie’s face in her hands, but she couldn’t lift her arms.

Oh, God, am I paralysed ?

“I’ll go grab the nurse,” Sam said, running out the door. Finally, Charlie could focus on the beautiful face leaning over her.

“Is… is…”

“Shhh, don’t talk just yet, love. Wait for the nurse to come, okay?”

Charlie was growing frustrated her body wouldn’t do as she wanted. A noise drew her attention to the door Sam had just left through. A short redhead bounced towards her with a huge smile.

“Ah, Ms Baxter, good to have you back. You had us worried for a second.”

Why had they been worried about her? Charlie’s confusion must have been written on her face.

“Do you know where you are, Charlie?” the nurse asked. Charlie let her eyes roam.

A hospital maybe? Is that where I am?

“Can you speak, Charlie?”

“The… hospital?” she rasped out. Bloody hell, her throat was sore.

“Good job,” the perky nurse said. “You’re in the hospital in Quebec City. Do you know what month it is?”

“December,” she said, her voice feeling stronger now.

“That’s right, perfect. Well done. I’m going to ask the doctor to come in, okay?”

“What happened?” No matter how hard she searched her mind, there was only a blank space. Something had happened, she knew that, but she just couldn’t get it to materialise in her memories.

“You were found in the woods, Charlie,” Em whispered, her voice weak and small.

“Bear? Was I attacked by a bear?” Charlie’s eyes whipped to Sam, who started chuckling.

“I told you she’d say that as soon as you mentioned the woods.” Sam winked at Charlie, and it made her feel better. Emilie was looking at her with fear pouring out of her eyes.

“Em,” Charlie rasped. Christ, what did a girl have to do to get some water around here?

“Drink this, sweetie, it’ll help.” Oh, thanks, nurse lady . “Better?”

Charlie nodded, but her attention was solely on Emilie. “Emilie, were you hurt?”

“Oh, baby, I wasn’t with you,” she cried, tears falling rapidly down her face.

“Mate, you were attacked in the woods. Do you remember? We were on the phone and then suddenly there was a bunch of noise and I heard you—”

Whatever Sam was about to say, she stopped abruptly. Her hand shot to her mouth as she gasped and started crying. Shit, everyone was crying.

“Sam, what happened?”

“You were attacked,” Emilie answered. Sam was still silently crying.

“Attacked? By who?” A voice, I heard a voice . Aargh, why couldn’t she remember?

“We don’t know, honey. Spud came running to the house acting crazy. I’ve never seen her like that. I followed her straight to you. When I saw you lying there… Oh, God, Charlie, there was so much blood, I thought you were dead.”

Charlie shouted inside her head for her hand to move. Finally, her stubborn body listened. Shakily, she moved to take Emilie’s hand that rested on the bed. “I’m okay, Em. I’m here.”

Emilie dropped to Charlie’s chest and cried harder.

“I’ll get the doctor,” the nurse repeated. Sam stopped crying and dropped a kiss on her head, which was pounding like a motherfucker.

“Where’s Anna?” Charlie asked.

“She’s with Kim and Hélène, at home. She couldn’t fly, mate, she’s been feeling bad.”

“Okay. She’s okay, right?”

“How are you asking about Anna when you’re laid up in a hospital bed?” Sam laughed. “Anna’s fine. Worried about you, but fine.”

A tall, grey-haired man swooped in like a tornado. “Charlie, good to see you awake. Let’s do some tests and make sure everything is okay with the old bean counter.” Plucking a white pen out of his jacket, Dr Lanky began shining it in her eyes, asking her to follow his finger.

“Things look good. Your CT is clear now. You had some swelling that concerned us, but I think we’re safe. You’re going to have a headache for a while and your face will be sore, but your contusions are healing nicely. They just need a bit of time. The most painful part will be your ribs. Three of them are cracked, I’m afraid. Honestly, though, Charlie, you were one lucky woman.”

“I don’t fucking feel lucky,” Charlie growled. Her head was really hurting and her face felt swollen.

“Yeah, she’s definitely okay, doctor. Her language skills are back to normal,” Sam laughed. Emilie finally grinned.

“I’ve called Buddy, my police friend. He’ll come and see you when you’re feeling a little better,” Emilie said, kissing her head.

“I can’t remember anything,” Charlie stuttered, looking at the doctor.

“It’s normal after the head injury you suffered. It will take some time, but I’m confident you’ll get your memories back. I can’t say they will return in full, but hopefully enough for you to piece together what happened. I’ll come back and check on you later. I expect you to be here for a few days, but then you can be released into the care of your friends.”

“Girlfriend,” Charlie stated, “Emilie’s my girlfriend.”

“Even better,” the doctor winked.

“I’m going to go call Anna,” Sam said, giving Charlie another kiss on the head.

“How do you feel?” Emilie asked quietly.

“My head hurts and my face feels big. Do I look bad?”

“You’re gorgeous,” Emilie said a little too fast.

Charlie grinned, but it hurt. “You’re a shitty liar, honey. Can you show me? I want to see what I look like.”

“Char, I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Emilie said, looking uncomfortable.

“Please, baby,” Charlie whined.

“Oh, for God’s sake, how can you still pull your puppy-dog eyes when you’re all beat up?”

“It’s a gift. Come on, show me.”

Emilie walked over to a door in the corner of the room. Pulling it open, she disappeared into what Charlie presumed was a bathroom. A second later Emile appeared with a square mirror. “Here,” she said, handing it over reluctantly. Slowly, Charlie placed the mirror in front of her face.

“Jesus,” she gasped, “I look like I’ve gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson.”

“It won’t take long to heal, baby.”

“Will there be scars?” Charlie added. She could see a large area above her right eye that had been stitched and bandaged. Her entire face was a mix of purple-black bruises.

“Don’t you worry about that, okay? Just concentrate on healing.”

Charlie stared at her reflection a little longer. The eyes looking back at her were the same, but the face—the face in the mirror—was a battered and bruised stranger.

Twenty-Two

E milie clenched her teeth together, determined not to let the latest wave of nausea get to her. It had been the same thing every day since she’d found Charlie lying in the woods, covered in blood. No matter what Emilie did, she couldn’t dispel the image from her mind.

Four days had passed since Spud had alerted Emilie to there being a problem. At first, she thought her dog might have just been overzealous, too excited…but then she saw something in Spud’s eyes. Emilie knew her dog and, in that moment, as Spud barked, darting back and forth, Emilie knew something was very wrong.

It only took them a few minutes to reach the spot where Charlie lay lifeless. Thinking back to it, Emilie could feel her chest tighten as if it were happening in real time.

“Hey, hey, Emilie, breathe, come on,” Sam said, kneeling in front of her. Charlie had woken up two days ago, but still Emilie couldn’t find solace in that, not when she had a permanent horror film playing on repeat in her head. As soon as Charlie fell back to sleep, Emilie would rush out of the room to cry and hyperventilate.

“I… I…” Emilie gasped.

“Emilie, you’re having a panic attack. You need to concentrate on your breathing.”

It felt like hours were passing as she struggled for breath. What would she have done if Charlie had died? How could she have ever lived with herself? It was her fault—her crazy life—that had put Charlie in the crosshairs.

“Emilie, Emilie , focus on my voice,” Sam said gently. Emilie screwed her eyes shut, trying desperately to drown out her inner voice. Focus on Sam and breathe .

“I’m… I’m okay,” she spluttered after inhaling deeply.

“I’m going to get the doctor,” Sam stated. Emilie reached out to stop her, but Sam had already gone. She didn’t need a doctor. Charlie needed the attention, not her.

“Emilie?” Dr. Acton said calmly.

“I’m okay,” she repeated.

“Let’s pop into an exam room and I’ll check you out.”

“I said I’m fine,” Emilie shot.

“I’m sure you are, but I can’t just take your word for it. Please, come with me.” Not having the energy to fight, Emilie followed the doctor into the exam room.

“Pop yourself on the bed.” Following orders, Emilie sat as Dr. Acton performed basic tests. “How are you feeling now?”

“Better, I just…” Emilie couldn’t explain the crushing sense of dread she’d felt for the past ninety-six hours.

“I think you’ve had a panic attack. Have you suffered with them before?”

“Yes, when I was younger, but it’s been years since I had one.”

“Okay, I’d like to prescribe you something to help settle your anxiety. I’m also going to recommend you talk to a psychologist. You’ve experienced some trauma and your body is reacting.”

“Charlie suffered the trauma,” Emilie barked. No way was she going to play the victim when Charlie lay battered and bruised.

“Finding Charlie in that state will have left a mark on you, Emilie. Please, just think about it.”

Emilie closed her eyes and steadied her breath. Her chest was no longer feeling tight. “When can I take her home?”

“Emilie—”

“I heard you. I’ll look into a therapist. Charlie is the important one here, Doctor. Please, when can I take her home?”

Understanding that pushing the subject further would be useless, Dr. Acton sighed but answered. “I want to do one more scan this evening. If everything is still clear, I will allow her to leave tomorrow afternoon.”

“You’re sure? She doesn’t need more time? She’s only been awake for forty-eight hours.”

“I’m sure. She’s out of immediate danger, Emilie. A second scan isn’t necessarily needed, but I’m being extra cautious. Honestly, she will probably heal better at home.”

Emilie nodded, a seed of anxiety germinating in her stomach. Home . That word should have been reassuring, but it wasn’t. It was at home where Charlie was attacked. How could they stay there? Hell, Emilie hadn’t been back there since. The thought of someone lurking in the woods was too much. Thank God Jess took Spud to her place.

“Hey, you doing better?” Sam asked when Emilie stepped back into Charlie’s room. Charlie was out for the count again. Emilie took a second to look at her girlfriend. The bruises on her face were striking. It took all Emilie’s strength not to break down again.

“I’m okay. The doctor wants me to see someone.”

“Like a therapist?”

“Yeah.”

“Will you?” Sam asked, looking at Emilie like she knew exactly what Emilie was planning, which was nothing. There was no way Emilie was going to waste time on herself when it was Charlie that needed looking after.

“Maybe,” Emilie muttered, sitting herself down in the chair next to Charlie’s bed.

“She’ll make you go, Em, you know that,” Sam stated matter-of-factly.

“Charlie doesn’t need to worry about that. She needs to concentrate on healing.”

“How do you think she’s going to do that knowing you’re suffering, too?”

“She doesn’t need to know,” Emilie snapped.

“What don’t I need to know?” Charlie said sleepily.

“Nothing, honey,” Emilie replied, smiling.

“The doc wants Emilie to see a therapist. She’s started having panic attacks,” Sam said, looking at Charlie. Balling her fist, Emilie shot Sam a death glare. “Get pissy all you want, Emilie. You’re part of this family now, and that means you get friends that overstep when needed,” Sam said, raising her eyebrow, daring Emilie to argue.

“Sam, can you give us a minute?” Charlie asked, scooting herself into a sitting position. Sam nodded, leaned over, and kissed Charlie on the forehead. She then reached over and squeezed Emilie’s shoulder.

“Babe—” Emilie began, but snapped her mouth closed when Charlie held up a hand.

“Emilie, I know you. I know what’s zipping around that beautiful brain of yours and I’m telling you right now to stop. What happened is not your fault. The person who did this is at fault. I don’t remember much, but I do remember the state you were in when I woke up. You were terrified.” Emilie couldn’t exactly argue. “If the doctor wants you to talk to someone, I want that, too. Don’t you think I’ll be chatting to someone after this? We can’t move on if you’re crippled with fear, babe.”

“I’m not hurt, though,” Emilie whined.

“Not physically. Em, if this was the other way round, what would you be telling me to do?”

“That’s not fair,” Emilie said, pouting. Why did Charlie have to be so damn reasonable?

Laughing and then wincing, Charlie grabbed Emilie’s hand, bringing it to her mouth. “Em, please listen to Dr Lanky.”

“Dr. Lanky?” Emilie laughed.

“I don’t actually know his name, just that he is freakishly tall, so yeah, Dr Lanky,” Charlie grinned. Even bashed up, that grin slayed Emilie.

“Alright, I’ll listen to Dr. Acton. He said I can take you home tomorrow if your scan is clear.”

“Oh, thank fuck for that. I need a comfy bed with a fifty-inch TV,” Charlie laughed. Emilie wished she could share Charlie’s relief. Her phone buzzed in her pocket.

“It’s Buddy. I’ve been waiting for him to call.”

“Answer it then,” Charlie said, rolling her eyes. Emilie didn’t realize she was staring at the phone, motionless. Snapping herself out of her comatose state, she slid her finger across to answer.

“Hey, Bud.”

“Hey, Em. Any chance Charlie is ready for a visit? We need to take her statement.”

“Hang on, I’ll ask.”

Charlie was already nodding her head. “I’m ready,” she said confidently.

To Emilie’s knowledge, Charlie hadn’t regained any memories yet.

“Yeah, swing by. She’s due for release tomorrow.”

“Okay, I’ll be there in twenty. Do you need anything?”

“No, I think we’re fi—”

“Decent coffee and a donut please,” Charlie shouted. Buddy laughed down the phone before ending the call.

“Okay, he’ll be here soon.”

“Em, kiss me, please. You’ve been in the room for over thirty seconds and you haven’t kissed me. I’m a little offended, if I’m being honest.”

“Well, we wouldn’t want that,” Emilie scoffed playfully. No matter how shitty Emilie felt, the moment her lips met Charlie’s, everything righted itself, even if it was temporary. Charlie soothed her raging emotions.

“Can I come back in now without Emilie throwing stuff at me?” Sam laughed, peeking her head around the door.

“Yes, come in,” Emilie smiled. It was strange having friends like Sam, Kim, Anna, and Hélène. These people really treated each other like family, and now they considered Emilie to be a part of that.

They sat chatting about everything and nothing, waiting for Buddy to arrive. Emilie sat praying for days he would catch whoever did this to Charlie quickly, but so far, they had no leads. There was a light rap on the door as Buddy stepped into the room.

Buddy was in his early fifties. He was bald and built like a house. Nobody ever suspected him of being a detective. A gym rat maybe, but not a police officer. His muscles bulged and his smile lit up any room he was in. Emilie had instantly felt safe with him when she’d gone through her crazy fan experience. Buddy looked tough, but when he spoke, he was caring, soft, and steady. He was everything a person needed when looking for comfort.

“Hey, everyone, I’m Buddy,” he said, presenting his hand to Charlie, who shook it carefully. Emilie hated seeing the pain on her face as she tried to move.

“Buddy, this is Charlie and her best friend, Sam.”

“Pleasure,” Buddy said, tipping his head to Sam. “Charlie, do you feel able to chat?”

“Sure, but I really can’t remember anything.”

“That’s okay. I just need to hear what you can remember.”

Emilie hated having to go through the story again. Charlie had told her what she remembered when she first woke up, then she retold the story to Sam and the doctors. Each time, Emilie wanted to vomit. Sucking in a deep breath, Emilie steeled herself as Charlie recounted what she could.

“Okay, thanks for that, Charlie. I’ll add your statement to the file. We recovered a bloody tree branch a few hundred metres away. We have your DNA from the clothes you were wearing. The test confirmed the blood on the branch is yours, Charlie.”

“What does that mean? I mean, how does it help?” Emilie asked.

“To me, it signifies that the assailant wasn’t planning the attack, it wasn’t premeditated.”

“Why do you say that?” Sam asked.

“I believe the attacker was watching Charlie, probably you too, Emilie. I think they overheard your conversation with Sam and snapped. I think they used what was available to them. If it was premeditated, I would have expected the weapon to have been something different. A baseball bat—gun, even.”

Emilie gasped at the thought of someone waiting for Charlie with a gun. “So now what?” Emilie cried. Tears falling down her face again.

“Babe, hey, calm down,” Charlie said soothingly.

“I’m sorry, Char. I’m so sorry,” Emilie sobbed.

“Baby, please, it’s not your fault.”

“Charlie’s right,” Buddy added. “Emilie, it’s only the fault of the person who attacked Charlie. I will find them. I can’t promise it will be tomorrow, but I will get them.”

“Where do we go from here?” Sam asked.

“We will have protection officers camped around Emilie’s property. We still have a team scouring the area where the attack happened. I’m confident the perpetrator isn’t a professional. It’s likely they left something behind and I plan to find it. We will keep you updated as much as possible.”

“What about Lydia? You looked into her, right?” Emilie asked. Her sobbing was now a small whimper.

“I did. There isn’t anything on the surface that’s pointing to her. I have someone monitoring her, though.”

“What do you mean? She’s back in the UK, isn’t she?” Emilie asked.

“No, she’s still in Canada. She was scheduled to leave the day after the dinner party, but she never made her flight. I tracked her to Quebec City.”

“Jess never said anything,” Emilie commented.

“Maybe she doesn’t know,” Charlie added.

“Either way, so far, she hasn’t left the city. She definitely wasn’t in this area at the time of the attack, so I’m ruling her out as a suspect for that. I’m not discounting the notes,” Buddy said quickly before Charlie or Emilie could interject.

“Thanks, Buddy.” Emilie gave him a sincere smile. She knew he would do everything in his power to catch the bastard who did this.

“I’ll call soon.” With that, Buddy bid them farewell and left. The room was silent for a few minutes.

“Well, that was fun,” Charlie chuckled.

“How are you laughing at any of this?” Emilie grumbled.

“What else can I do, Em? I’m not going to lie here being scared. That gives power to the person who did this. Fuck that!”

“I’ll call Anna and let her know I’m staying for a bit.”

“No, you won’t. Anna needs you home,” Charlie shot.

“I think she’ll understand,” Sam joked.

“No, Sam. Look, I’m doing fine. Em will look after me and I’ll be happier knowing you are at home looking after your wife and baby. I promise to let you know what’s going on.”

“I don’t like it,” Sam moaned.

“Tough tits, Sammy, I’m the victim. You have to do what I say,” Charlie grinned.

“You’re an arsehole,” Sam laughed.

“True, but I still want you to go home.” Sam seemed to accept Charlie’s demand, albeit reluctantly.

“I’ll go book a flight and pack. You sure, Char?”

“Positive. Please, go home and give Anna and baby Charlie a kiss from me.”

“Ha, mini-Charlie. In your dreams, mate,” Sam laughed.

“I had to try,” Charlie smirked.

“I don’t know how you two are acting so fucking normal!” Emilie shouted. What the fuck was wrong with them? Couldn’t they see how messed up the situation was?

Emilie was panting hard; her nerves were at breaking point again. She watched Charlie give Sam a subtle nod. Without a word, Sam left.

“Talk to me, Em.”

“Charlie, there is a crazy person out there who almost beat you to death, and you’re acting like it’s no big deal. It’s a big fucking deal, Charlie! How can I take you back to the place where happened? It’s not safe.”

“Then let’s go somewhere else. I don’t need any specialised treatment, just rest and relaxation. We can do that from a hotel room.”

“Hotels are too public. No, I need to get you away from everyone. Yes, I know where we can go,” Emilie rambled. She was speaking to herself more than Charlie. A plan formulated in her mind. There was one place she could go where no one would find them. “Okay, it’s okay. I have a plan. I’m going to go back to the house and pack. Lola will be outside your door the entire time.”

“Em, can you just take a beat? You’re kind of worrying me.”

“Why? I’m okay. I just need to get you safe.”

“Alright, but you’re kind of acting manic. Could you just sit and calm yourself for a second?”

That was when Emilie realized she’d left her chair at Charlie’s side and was pacing while she planned.

“When was the last time you slept?” Charlie asked.

Emilie had avoided closing her eyes as much as possible. Every time she tried to sleep, she was taken straight back to the forest and Charlie’s body. “Um, I’m fine. I had a nap not too long ago.”

“Bullshit, get in here,” Charlie said, scooting over to the side.

“I’m not getting in bed with you. You need to rest,” Emilie argued.

“Emilie Martin, so help me. Get your gorgeous arse in this bed now,” Charlie demanded. A little perturbed by Charlie’s tone and also a little turned on if she were honest, Emilie tucked herself into Charlie’s uninjured side. “Close your eyes and listen to my breathing,” Charlie cooed.

Was this woman a magician? Before Emilie could protest, her eyes shut against her will.

“Hello, sunshine,” Charlie chirped, kissing Emilie on the side of the head. Emilie’s vision was blurry with sleep. It took her a second to get her bearings. Charlie’s arm pulled her tight and that was when she remembered she’d climbed into bed with her.

“What time is it?” Emilie bolted up from where she was nestled.

“Relax, you’ve been asleep for a few hours. You needed it, Em.”

“No, I should have been organizing,” Emilie argued.

Charlie rolled her eyes. “I called Lola in and asked her to get some stuff for us. I didn’t tell her why and she didn’t ask. Apparently, the house is swarming with police. Anyway, she has our bags ready for when I’m released.”

Emilie sighed. If she were honest, she felt a thousand times better after catching up on some sleep. Safe in Charlie’s arms, she hadn’t had her usual nightmare. “Okay, how are you feeling?”

“Sore but okay. Did you see they shaved the back of my head?”

“Yeah, I was going to tell you but…”

“Ha, you were scared I was going to flip my lid. Everyone thinks I’m precious about my hair. I don’t know why,” Charlie commented.

“Because it’s like the most gorgeous hair in the world and you’ve been growing it for your whole life.”

“Well, I’m going to have to have it styled now. I can’t go having a weird shaved patch on the back of my head.”

“You need to wait until the cut is healed.”

“Ooh, I can get an undercut,” Charlie smiled.

“Yeah, that would be hot.”

“How high is the cut?” Charlie asked, sitting forward slightly so Emilie could look.

“Not too far up. You could have the rest of your neck shaved and that would work.”

“I’ll do neck and sides. I think I’ll have a few inches off the top, but not loads.”

Emilie was finding the conversation bizarre. Charlie really didn’t look upset or scared. Not for someone who’d been attacked by a raving lunatic, anyway. How was she this chill?

“You will be gorgeous.” Emilie leaned in and kissed her head. If Charlie needed her to be calm, she’d try her level best.

Twenty-Three

“F reedom!” Charlie belted out the moment Emilie wheeled her through the automatic doors leading to the hospital staff parking garage.

“Shhh, for God’s sake, we’re trying to keep a low profile, Char,” Emilie huffed. Charlie giggled because she enjoyed Emilie getting a little fiery. It was hot. Plus, nothing could dampen her good mood, not when she was finally busting out of the hospital. Okay, not “busting out”. She’d been released properly.

“Em, honey, cheer up, would you? I finally get to sleep in a comfortable bed with you beside me. No nurses waking me up at the arse crack of dawn to prod and poke me. We can have sex, baby. Sex!! I’ve missed it so much!”

“Charlie,” Emilie hissed, as they passed two nurses who grinned at Charlie’s statement.

“I’m just excited,” Charlie said, desperately trying not to laugh at Emilie’s bright red face.

“Great, now the whole hospital will know what we get up to.”

“Em, I’m sure people are aware you have sex. You’re a superstar, not a nun.”

“I don’t go around airing my laundry for all to see, Charlie,” Emilie huffed again.

“Alright, alright, don’t get your knickers in a twist. I shall refrain from discussing our excellent and adventurous sex life in front of anyone.” Charlie couldn’t hold in her laughter any longer. Emilie slapped her hand over Charlie’s mouth, trying to shut her up, but it was too late. Another hospital employee had overheard her last statement.

“Charliieee!”

“Sorry, babe.”

“Ugh, let’s get you into the car. I want to be on the road ASAP. We have a few hours to drive.”

Emilie had been secretive with Charlie regarding where they were going to stay. Once Charlie had seen how upset and frantic Emilie was at the prospect of going back to the cabin, there was no question they needed to get away for a while.

“Are you ready to tell me where we’re going yet?”

“Nope, not until we’re on the move. I’ve asked Lola to follow us for a bit, to make sure no one is pursuing us.”

“Do you really think that’s going to happen?”

“I never thought something like this would happen, but look at you. I know you think I’m being a little nuts right now, but I’d rather take precautions, Char.”

Charlie couldn’t fault her. Hell, if this had happened to Emilie, Charlie would have whisked her away to the most remote area on the planet until whoever did it was caught.

“Alright, I’ll stop asking. Just a warning, I might be a pretty shit passenger. The meds knock me right out and they gave me a dose before leaving. I’ll probably fall asleep on the journey.”

The pain medication was fantastic; much better than what was prescribed in the UK. Emilie wasn’t happy about it. She’d already started concocting a plan to wean her off of it. Something about opioids and addiction.

“That’s fine. You need to rest.”

Charlie opened her eyes sometime later. She had no clue as to the time or how long they’d been on the road. Soft music played through the car’s speakers. Charlie heard Emilie singing to herself and that pulled a smile.

“Hey, you’re awake. How’re you feeling, honey?”

“Stiff,” Charlie replied. Her head wounds were far less painful than her cracked ribs. The doctor had told her they would be the hardest part of her recovery.

“Do you want me to pull over so you can stretch it out?”

Charlie peered through the car window. There wasn’t a building in sight, only pine trees as far as the eye could see. “Where are we?”

“About half an hour away from our destination,” Emilie chirped. Getting away had done wonders for Emilie’s mood. Charlie could see the weight of her anxiety lift with every passing mile.

“Can you tell me where we’re going now?”

“Yes, I got the all clear from Lola. No one is following us. So, I have a house, and I do mean a house. It’s a regular size, nothing fancy. I inherited it from a friend when I was twenty. No one knows about it. Well, Buddy does, but that’s only because I used this place when I was having problems with that fan. Anyway, it’s completely off the radar. I kept it that way for a reason.”

“You have a secret house?”

“Yes. I don’t use it often, but when I need a place to disappear, I go there.”

“And where is there?”

“Tadoussac. It’s a famous town known for its whale watching. You’re going to love it, although we’re too late into the winter to see whales, but the town itself is awesome.”

“If it’s famous, how can we be there without you being recognised?”

“Costumes, honey. We’re going to play dress up.”

Charlie’s clit pulsed. It wasn’t the right time to be getting horny, but hell, the thought of Emilie dressed up was hot.

“Get your head out of the gutter. I can see you getting turned on from over here,” Emilie laughed.

“Hey, you mentioned dress up,” Charlie mumbled.

“I promise, the costumes are not the least bit sexy, I’m afraid. I have a couple of great wigs. I use coloured contacts and bulk out my clothing a bit.”

“Do I need to dress up?”

“No, babe, you’re fine. We’ve been pretty lucky in that the press hasn’t gotten wind of the attack, well, for now. If that happens, we may need to be a little more careful when out in public.”

“To be honest, Em, I think I could do with a few days hidden away. My face is enough to give the local kids nightmares. So, until I look semi-me again, can we just hunker down with movies?”

“You got it, honey. Whatever you need, okay? I’ve told Buddy where we will be, just in case.”

Charlie nodded. “So, who was the friend that left you a house?”

“It was actually my childhood neighbour. I was really close to her. She was like another grandma. Elsie was her name. She didn’t have her own kids. She also didn’t like the way my parents treated me. They never found out that Elsie left me everything in her will, thank God. This house was her summer vacation place.”

“Well, thank you, Elsie. I’m glad you had someone other than your uncle trying to help you.”

The house they pulled up to wasn’t what Charlie was expecting. Emilie had said it was just a regular house, but Charlie couldn’t help but think that Emilie’s idea of regular was probably far beyond other peoples’ ideas of regular. Charlie was wrong. The house was a white one-story. A small porch wrapped around the entire building. The location of the house was residential, but the building was set back from the road. It looked in good shape. The outside could have benefitted from a fresh coat of paint, though.

As they got out of the car, Charlie inhaled as deeply as her cracked ribs would allow. The fresh air filled her from head to toe. “Wow, Em, this is really cute.”

“It only has one bedroom, but I think we’ll survive,” she grinned. “It isn’t flashy. Everything inside is original. I updated the plumbing and electricity but I haven’t gotten around to doing anything else. Actually, I feel weird about changing it. Everything inside reminds me of Elsie.”

“That’s really nice, Em. Keep it as you want. You don’t have to change anything at all. As long as it has a shower and a TV, I’m happy.”

Charlie hobbled to the front door as Emilie grabbed their bags. The smell of cinnamon smacked Charlie in the face as soon as the door opened. “Why does it smell like a McDonald’s apple pie in here?” Charlie chuckled.

“Elsie had a thing for candles. Seriously, I could open a shop with the amount she had stored in her closet.”

“It’s making me hungry,” Charlie laughed. They stepped into the house, and Charlie took a second to look around. It was clear an older woman had lived there. Most of the furniture looked antique.

“So, what do you think?”

“It’s cozy. A great place to recuperate.”

“Speaking of, let’s get you settled on the couch. I’m afraid your enthusiasm over reclaiming our sex life is a little premature, Char. Those ribs are going to take time.”

“I can be on the bottom,” Charlie argued. Days without touching Emilie were proving to be more painful than her injuries.

“Settle down, tiger. All in good time. I promise we’ll have a night of passion as soon as you’re ready.”

“I am ready,” Charlie sulked.

“Charlie, stop pouting, baby. Listen, you be a good patient, do as you’re told, and I promise I will do whatever you want in bed when the time comes.”

“Okay,” Charlie shot, her face breaking out into a grin.

In reality, there was no way Charlie could partake in a night of passion. Her body ached from face to feet. Every time she moved an inch in the wrong direction, her ribs screamed at her. Would they really have to wait weeks to touch each other again? Charlie rolled her eyes at her own misery.

The next few days passed with Charlie swimming in and out of consciousness. When she woke up from her frequent naps, Emilie was always close by, either reading, writing, or listening to music through her headphones.

After nearly two weeks of them hiding in the little house, Charlie was finally feeling like herself again. She was still stiff after waking up and she had to be careful with her movements, but otherwise she could get up and walk about a lot easier.

Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, she surveyed her face. The bruising had almost disappeared. Feeling around the back of her neck, she noted the cut was scabbed over and it no longer hurt.

There had been no significant breakthroughs in the case, which wasn’t a surprise. The only thing Buddy had to go on was a blood-soaked tree branch and a set of footprints they had found close by. Buddy thought the prints were too small to be a man, which, in Charlie’s eyes, gave credibility to her theory that Lydia was behind it all.

“Hey, how about a little walk down to the bay?” Emilie asked, sitting down on the couch with a cup of tea and a biscuit. Charlie smiled. She loved that Emilie was a tea monster. Charlie also loved Emilie knew how to pair her biscuits with her tea. Not everyone understood the delicate relationship between biscuit type and tea type.

When they were in school, Charlie’d had to have a lengthy discussion with an American student who was dipping her Hob Nob into a cup of green tea. Emilie had laughed her arse off as Charlie tried to explain why pairing that biscuit with that tea was an aberration. Thankfully, Charlie had never had to have that kind of talk with Emilie. Their relationship was safe.

“Sounds like a plan. I could do with seeing the outside world again. Has anything changed? Are robots the superior race yet?”

“You dork, it’s been two weeks, and you’ve been out in the garden.”

“Wow, the garden…woohoo. I need to see other people—see the fjord or whatever it’s called. Ooh, have a beer in the local microbrewery.”

“How the hell do you know about that?” Emilie laughed.

“Well, my darling, in between naps and TV binging, I have used Mr Google to research the area. I’m a bit gutted we won’t see any whales, but I’ll get over it. The surrounding area looks awesome. When I’m one hundred percent better, we can walk the trails.”

“Colour me impressed, Charlie Baxter. You’ve gone from screaming about bears to planning hiking trips in the woods in just a few weeks.”

“What can I say? I’m an onion.”

“What?” Emilie cackled.

“I have layers—some I didn’t even realise I had, myself. But peel one away and, hey, presto, there’s something new to learn about me.”

“God, I love you,” Emilie laughed and then froze. They hadn’t said the words yet. They’d confessed their love as teenagers but not as adults, which in retrospect was stupid. After everything they had gone through together, the words should have been spoken weeks ago. Charlie bit her lip as she watched Emilie imitate a deer in headlights.

“I love you too, Em, surely you know that.”

“Well, I hoped, but I didn’t want to presume,” Emilie mumbled.

“Stop looking so worried. It’s always been you, Em. Always. Come here.” Charlie opened her arms and waited for Emilie to move into her. The kiss started out softly. As usual, Charlie lost herself in Emilie. It didn’t take long for the kiss to deepen. They still hadn’t had sex, and now, Charlie was practically crawling out of her skin with want.

Please don’t stop this, Emilie. Not again .

Charlie had tried to initiate sex on several occasions, but Emilie always pulled away when things were about to escalate. At first, Charlie understood she needed a little more time to heal, but then the last two times when Charlie had voiced out loud she was ready, Emilie had still stopped them taking it further.

“Em, I want you,” Charlie breathed against Emilie’s lips.

“Charlie, I—”

“Please, Emilie. Please, don’t shut this down.” Charlie didn’t like that she was begging, but that was the point she was at. Feeling Emilie hesitate for a second, Charlie almost cheered out loud when she felt Emilie’s tongue invade her mouth with an urgency that befitted the circumstance.

Charlie ran her hands through Emilie’s hair. Emilie moved to mirror her actions, but stopped when she felt the cut at the back of Charlie’s head. Knowing it would likely make Emilie hesitate again, Charlie pulled Emilie on to her lap so she was straddling Charlie’s thighs. Letting her hands roam, Charlie mapped Emilie’s curves with her fingers. When she reached the bottom of Emilie’s shirt, she surged on, not permitting Emilie to overthink.

Emilie lifted her arms, allowing the shirt to be tugged off. Charlie smiled when Emilie’s breasts spilled out.

No bra, thank fuck .

“I’m okay, Em. You won’t hurt me.”

“Are you sure?” Emilie panted.

“I promise,” Charlie replied. It wasn’t hard to understand why Emilie had been reticent. She knew Emilie was petrified of Charlie hurting anymore, and she also still carried unwarranted guilt over the attack. Charlie hoped their intimacy could erase those thoughts from Emilie’s head once and for all.

“Trousers off, Em, I want you to ride me.” Charlie released Emilie’s body as she hopped off the couch, pulling off her trousers. Charlie’s heart was drumming wildly. Emilie’s body was heavenly.

“What about you? You’re wearing a lot of clothes,” Emilie purred.

“I am. Why don’t you do something about that?”

Charlie sat back and waited. She wanted Emilie to be fully in the moment with her. Slowly, Emilie sank to her knees and began pulling at Charlie’s joggers.

“You’re not wearing any underwear?” Emilie sighed happily. “I love that my girlfriend has such affection for going commando.”

“I’m glad it pleases you. Now let me do something else that will please you even more. Hop on.” Charlie patted her lap. Emilie grinned and retook her position on Charlie. Kissing Emilie’s neck, Charlie palmed her breasts. They were, after all, magnificent.

She smiled when Emilie’s nipples reacted instantaneously. Rolling and pinching one nipple, Charlie bent her mouth down to the other, luxuriating in the soft skin as it touched her lips. Hungrily, she sucked in the peaked bud and lavished it with licks and bites. Emilie was gyrating on her lap, her hips pressing down, trying desperately to find some friction.

“I’m so turned on,” Emilie hissed. “Charlie, I need your fingers.” Charlie didn’t miss a beat. The hand that was pinching Emilie’s nipple slipped down between them. Coating her hand in Emilie’s excitement, Charlie slipped two fingers inside with ease.

“I love your pussy. My God!” Charlie growled. Easing a third finger in, she pumped her hand. Emilie’s gasps spurred her on. “Can you take one more?” Charlie whispered into Emilie’s neck.

“Yes,” Emilie moaned.

Charlie slid a fourth finger in. She waited a beat before moving, allowing Emilie’s body to adjust. “Ride me, honey.”

Emilie lifted herself a little before slamming down on Charlie’s hand. There was nothing soft about it. Emilie was punishing Charlie’s wrist, but she didn’t care. The sight of Emilie looking so wild and out of control was worth every cramp and strain.

Sliding her free arm around Emilie’s back, she gripped Emilie’s hip, steadying the movement. Emilie ran both hands through Charlie’s hair, forgetting about her earlier hesitation and the cut. Charlie let out a growl as Emilie pulled at her hair, her head rolling back in pleasure. The whole time, Emilie continued to pound down on Charlie’s hand. Charlie could feel Emilie’s pussy tighten. She felt the rush of liquid as Emilie screamed her pleasure into the room.

“Yes, Charlie. Yes, Jesus, don’t stop!”

Charlie doubled her efforts. Leaning her head against Emilie’s chest, she gritted her teeth as her wrist took a beating. Emilie’s whole body convulsed. Charlie bit into Emilie’s skin as she came undone. When she felt Emilie slow her undulations, Charlie leaned back and captured Emilie’s lips.

“Holy shit,” Emilie breathed into Charlie’s mouth. “I think I gushed on you,” she added.

“Yes, you did, and it was so goddamn hot,” Charlie stated proudly.

“That was so intense. The orgasm just kept going. God, Charlie, it has never been this good with anyone.”

“That’s because we are made to do this, Em. Me and you.”

“I want to make you feel just as good, Charlie. What do you want?”

“Ah, yes. I remember you saying you would do anything,” Charlie smirked.

“Baby, after that explosion, I’ll give you whatever you need.”

“Good. Go and get our little friend. I feel like being bent over a table.”

“How about I fuck you from behind on the sofa? It has a little more cushioning, babe.” Charlie rolled her eyes. Obviously, Emilie wasn’t completely over fussing.

Twenty-Four

T he pained moan coming from Charlie woke Emilie up with a start. “What’s wrong?” she asked urgently.

“Nothing, I’m just stretching.”

“Are you sure? You sound in pain,” Emilie pushed. The last thing she wanted was for Charlie to overdo it and spoil her recovery. Maybe having sex wasn’t such a good idea, in retrospect. Damn it, they should have waited. Emilie knew it had been too soon. Goddamn her libido.

“Babe, you gave me four orgasms with a strap-on. Of course I need to stretch it out,” Charlie laughed.

“We should have waited. Charlie, you weren’t ready.”

“Stop, Emilie. I know you’re worried, but you’re ruining my post-orgasm bliss. I know my body and I was ready. My muscles are tight, but nothing out of the ordinary. We didn’t get too adventurous, and let’s be honest, you did all the hard work. I just bent over and enjoyed myself.”

“What a romantic way to describe our lovemaking,” Emilie laughed, her body relaxing a little. Emilie knew she had to let go of her worries. It was proving harder than she imagined, though. Everything felt out of her control. She couldn’t do a thing about what had happened to Charlie, so she was latching on to what she could do, and that was helping her get better.

The problem was she was overthinking, overanalyzing, and over worrying. Charlie had voiced her irritation on several occasions. Two weeks had passed and Emilie could see Charlie was getting better by the second, but she couldn’t stop herself from fussing and fretting.

“As soon as I have the energy to move, I’ll jump in the shower. That will relax my aches and pains, okay?”

“Alright. Do you still want to take a walk? We have a couple of hours until sunset. We could walk slowly down to the bay. There is a wonderful little nature path that leads to the fjord.”

“Sounds perfect. Can we stop in and have a beer?”

“Sure. I’ll get my disguise on. I don’t think there will be a problem. Most of the tourists are gone and won’t be back for a few weeks, but I’d like to be cautious.”

“Sure thing, love. Right, come on, let’s hop to it.”

Emilie donned her disguise and waited for Charlie. A small smile played on her lips because she knew Charlie was going to laugh her ass off when she saw what she was wearing. Sure enough, Charlie rounded the corner, stopped, looked Emilie up and down, and then doubled over in hysterical laughter.

“E-Em, you…you can’t be serious?” she spluttered, tears rolling down her face.

“Of course I am.”

“Babe, you look like one of the identities Melissa McCarthy is given in Spy . Where the fuck did you get that wig? Oh, Jesus, is that a howling wolf fleece jacket?”

Emilie felt her laughter bubble up. Charlie’s whole body was shaking, causing Emilie to laugh along. “No one will recognize me like this. I’ll just be sweet Dory Blatch from nowhere, USA. On vacation in my Winnebago.”

“Sweet Jesus, I can’t breathe,” Charlie choked. Emilie was in full hysterics now, the pair of them crying with laughter.

“Come on, sweetie, we have a walk to take.” Emilie wiped under her eyes and straightened her clothes.

“Have you padded your clothes out?” Charlie asked, wide-eyed. Emilie had indeed padded herself out. Not dramatically, but she’d added a bit of a love pouch around her middle.

“Yup. Hey, get used to it, lady. The moment I’m not forced to look like a supermodel on the stage, I will be pigging out. Do you know how much I miss donuts?”

“Hey, baby, have at it. Eat what you want. You’re gorgeous,” Charlie stated.

Slowly, they made their way down the street towards the main part of town. They would have to take it even slower on the way back, as it was all uphill. Emilie kept a watchful eye on Charlie. So far, so good. Emilie nodded to a break in the trees that allowed them to see the bay. It was a wondrous sight. The water was completely still and the sun was starting its descent over the mountains. Emilie stood and watched Charlie as her face lit up, her eyes reflecting the winter light.

“Wow, Em, it’s beautiful.”

“Come on, it gets better from the shoreline. You okay to walk still?”

“I’m fine, honest. I think this is really doing me some good. My legs needed working more.”

Arm in arm, they continued their steady amble down to the decked promenade that overlooked the beach and water. Emilie pulled Charlie along, wanting to do the nature trail before they lost the light. It took them double the time, but Emilie was anxious that the rocky trail would prove too much for Charlie if they rushed. Finally, they stepped out of the wooded area and onto the decking that ran the length of the fjord’s peak.

“Wow,” Charlie whispered. “This is magnificent.” Emilie remained silent. They listened to the water gently lapping over the rocks and the birds sweetly singing in the pine trees. They stood gazing over to the mountains that flawlessly reflected off the water’s surface. “We have to come back here, Em. I want to see whales.”

“Definitely. Over there—” Emilie pointed inland up the fjord, “is where the Beluga whales mate. There is an outlook point in the National Forest. I’ve never been. I would love to do that with you.”

“Yes, yes, yes. Aargh, I’m frustrated I’m not up to doing the hikes around here,” Charlie growled, her eyebrows furrowing.

“Hey, come on. No grumps, okay? We will come back on holiday and do all of that. Now, shall we walk to the microbrewery?”

“Yes, beer, that’s what will make this day perfect,” Charlie grinned.

They set off at a snail’s pace towards the town. The microbrewery was on the road which ran along the bay.

“Grab a table and I’ll get us some menus,” Emilie said, ushering Charlie to sit at the table by the window. What could be better than enjoying a local beer, overlooking the bay as the sun set?

“They have a lot of choices,” Charlie said, indicating the chalkboard above the bar.

“You can order a board of five, half-pints. That way, you can taste several beers at once.”

“Now that is a grand idea, Em. I knew I loved you for a reason.”

So far, no one had batted an eye at Emilie. Either they saw through her disguise and didn’t care, or they had no clue an international superstar was sitting in their brewery, having a quiet drink with her girlfriend.

The brewery’s bar was small. A handful of tall tables littered the floor. Around half of them were occupied by locals. It was the first time in years that Emilie had been able to just sit and relax with a drink in public. Okay, so she had to dress up for it, but that didn’t matter. Actually, in the frigid temperatures, she was quite happy to have the added layers.

Well into their third drink, Emilie noticed Charlie looking out the window. Her gaze wasn’t that of awe and wonder, it was troubled. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Nothing,” Charlie replied quickly, but Emilie didn’t believe her. Charlie was still surveying something outside. Emilie turned her head to look.

“No, don’t look, Em,” Charlie said rapidly.

“What is going on?”

“I’m sure I’ve seen the same woman walk by, like four times. She keeps looking over. I caught her eye and she scurried off. Maybe it’s nothing?”

“What did she look like?”

“Well, hard to tell. She had a bobble hat on, scarf, and a big-ass coat.”

Emilie so desperately wanted to look, but she refrained. It was likely they were being a little paranoid. Nobody knew where they were. It was to be expected they both might be a little jumpy. “Shall we head back to the house? It’s dark and we have a bit of a hill to climb.”

“Yeah, come on, let’s get back. We have some cuddling to do.”

Even though Charlie was acting completely normal, Emilie saw her worry. They settled the bill and headed out. Their route home was simple. They only had to follow two roads. It was the uphill part that sucked.

The walk back was relatively silent. The panic they both suffered in the brewery may have been unwarranted, but it had left its mark. Emilie didn’t know what to say. Her nerves were on edge, but she didn’t want to make it about her. Charlie was the one that had a target on her back. She could only imagine how she must be feeling.

The loud roar of a car engine shattered the night’s peace. Whirling around, Emilie caught sight of the car’s headlights approaching them at speed. Screaming Charlie’s name, she lunged for her girlfriend, who had been walking on the path closest to the road. Grabbing hold of Charlie’s coat, Emilie tugged her hard, away from the road as the car swerved towards her. They fell into a garden. The car’s tires squealed as it raced off.

“Charlie, are you okay?” Emilie hauled Charlie to her feet, patting her body and face, checking for injuries. Charlie was pale. All the blood had left her face, leaving her looking haunted.

“Em, call Buddy. I think they found me,” she choked out. Emilie watched as Charlie doubled over and vomited.

“Are all the doors and windows locked?” Charlie called from the kitchen.

“Yes, I double-checked. Buddy just sent me a text. He’s ten minutes out. Lola is not far behind.” There was a flaw in Emilie’s brilliant plan to hide away with no one knowing where they were. She wanted to kick herself for leaving them so vulnerable. Why hadn’t she asked Lola to stay close by? How the hell had they been found?

Suddenly, the silence of the night was far too loud. Every creak of the house sent spikes of fear through Emilie’s body. Charlie wouldn’t sit still. She had been pacing through the house since they’d returned. The only visible sign of their altercation with the car was a small graze on Charlie’s palm where she’d braced after Emilie pulled her away from the curb.

“Charlie, can you sit down? You’re making me nervous.”

“Emilie, I can’t sit down. I’m freaking out a bit, to be honest. I hate that we’re trapped here.”

Emilie took some calming breaths, no matter how scared she felt. She had to be strong for Charlie. “I know you’re scared, Char, but we are okay. Everything is locked. Buddy contacted the local police to send a car over. No one is getting to us.” Emilie repeated the sentence in her head several times, hoping that she could believe her own words.

“Did you get a look at the car?” Charlie asked. Her pacing had slowed, but she was still moving about.

“No, just that it was a dark colour.”

“Damn,” Charlie whispered. “And Buddy is sure that Lydia is still in the city?”

“Yep, it’s the first thing he checked. She hasn’t left the city once. Whoever this is, it’s not her.”

“What about Jack? He’s pissed at me.”

“His footprints are too big for the ones found in the forest. Buddy checked that, too.”

“Then who the fuck is it?” Charlie screamed, her face red with anger. Emilie flinched. The stress of the situation was becoming untenable for them both. The waiting around was awful, like they were just sitting there waiting for this unhinged psycho to come and find them again.

“Charlie, honey, please,” Emilie said calmly. “Buddy will be here soon. We will get this sorted out.”

“When? We could be hiding for months if they don’t find this nut job. Emilie, I have a fucking life in England, a career.”

The words were true, but they cut deep. It was the first time Emilie saw the cracks in their relationship…a relationship that was in its infancy. Of course, Charlie would have to go home soon. Emilie was well aware they had things to sort out, but she wasn’t sure they could do that under these circumstances. Would Charlie come to resent her? It was possible. Who the hell wanted to deal with this bullshit?

“Please, Charlie, I don’t know what to say.”

“There is nothing to say, Em,” Charlie replied hotly. “I’m stuck in this nightmare and there is nothing you or I can do.”

Emilie felt the hot sting of tears welling in her eyes. Her rational brain was telling her Charlie was scared and lashing out. Her emotional side was telling her she was being selfish by wanting a life with Charlie. Even if she cut her work life back, Emilie would always be a star. She would always be in the public eye.

Until now, she never thought that would be a problem with Charlie. She thought they were too strong; they could weather any storm. Now, though, as she looked into Charlie’s scared and pained eyes, she could see it was just a dream—nothing more than a fantasy.

A loud crash echoed through the house from the bathroom. Emilie froze. Her heart rate was through the roof. Instinctively, she looked at Charlie. Instead of panicking, Charlie was snarling. Something had taken over her features.

“I will not be ruled by this motherfucker,” she growled through her teeth.

“Charlie,” Emilie whispered, but it was no use. Charlie was stalking towards the bathroom door. Emilie’s heart was in her throat. What the hell should she do? She couldn’t let Charlie face a maniac. They could be armed. If anything happened to her, Emilie knew she would never forgive herself.

Standing from her seat on the couch, Emilie tiptoed towards Charlie, who was leaning against the wall flush to the bathroom door. Charlie turned to Emilie, raising her finger to her mouth, telling her to be quiet. Emilie wanted to roll her eyes at the command. Did Charlie think she was going to start a conversation? Maybe sing a little? Of course not. She had no intention of making a sound.

Emilie listened intensely. Since the crash, there had been no other sounds from the room. Charlie turned to look at her, her mouth open as if she were about to speak. Instead, her eyes went wide, looking over Emilie’s shoulder. Whipping her head round, Emilie gasped as a masked body ran at her, knife in hand. Sheer panic overtook every muscle in her body. The world slowed down as blood pumped in her ears, deafening her. Was this how she was going to die? No, it wasn’t, because the masked assailant didn’t have their eyes on Emilie. No, they were trained on the person behind her: Charlie.

Oh, God, no!

Everything happened in an instant. The moment Emilie realized Charlie was about to be hurt again, her body took over. Launching herself as fast and as hard as she could, Emilie slammed her body into the attacker. They fell to the ground. Emilie heard Charlie scream her name, but she couldn’t focus on that. The body underneath her was stirring from the shock of being body tackled. The knife had slipped from their hand. Reaching out, Emilie tried to grab it, but she was stopped. A hand was wrapped around her wrist, pulling it away from the knife.

Without warning, Emilie felt herself being dragged backwards. The hands around her waist gripped tightly. Charlie was pulling her away from danger. What Emilie didn’t bank on was Charlie then throwing herself at the person lying on the ground, who was now scrambling to get the knife.

“Not so fast, arsehole,” Charlie shouted, pounding her knee straight into the crotch of the assailant. A shrill scream pierced the air. Emilie looked on as Charlie lost all modicum of restraint. Her fists landed blow after blow. If Charlie’s body was hurting, she wasn’t showing any signs of it.

Red and blue flashing lights lit up the hallway through the window in the front door. Throwing herself forward, Emilie pulled at the door frantically. It took her a few moments to calm herself enough to unlock and open it.

“Help! Help!” she screamed at anyone who was listening. Three officers rushed towards her. Buddy and Lola jumped out of their vehicles before they’d stopped rolling. Emilie turned to go back inside. She had to see Charlie. Strong hands grabbed her, pulling her back to the garden. Shouts came from the house.

“Charlie! Charlie!” she screamed. She didn’t care how loud she was; she had to make sure Charlie was okay.

“Em, Emilie , look at me,” Lola said. Grabbing her head, Lola tried to get Emilie to focus on her face. “Charlie will be fine.”

“There was a knife, and…and, Charlie, she pulled me away.”

“Okay, it’s okay. Come on, let the police do their work.”

Allowing Lola to drag her away, Emilie found herself sitting in the back of an ambulance. The paramedic checked her out. There was a noise from the house. Emilie strained to see. When Charlie’s eyes appeared like a beacon in the dark, nothing and no one was going to stop Emilie from getting to her. Pushing past everyone, Emilie flew across the garden and into the open arms of Charlie.

“I’m okay. I’m okay,” Charlie whispered in her ear. Emilie sobbed… Twice she’d come close to losing the most important person in her life. Never again. Emilie would give it all up. The fame, the money—all of it could go to hell if it meant she would have to live a second without Charlie Baxter.

“I love you. I love you,” she cried into Charlie’s hair. A police officer came and escorted them to the same ambulance where Emilie had been sitting moments before. Loud shouting emanated from the house. Emilie turned to look. Her breath hitched when she saw the woman who’d attacked Charlie being dragged out in handcuffs.

Twenty-Five

T he human body was a wondrous thing. Its ability to respond intuitively to its surroundings was miraculous. Watching a masked psycho running towards her had caused Charlie’s body to flood her system with adrenaline. The moment Emilie slammed the attacker to the floor, it was as if Charlie’s body became a separate entity from her mind. Her legs carried her over to the pile of limbs writhing around on the floor. Her arms had automatically wrapped themselves around Emilie, dragging her away from danger.

Once Charlie had put distance between Emilie and the nut job on the floor, she’d seen red. Charlie was a calm, peaceful person. She’d never seen the point of losing it. Of course it still happened sometimes. She was only human. But as she stood there looking down at the person on the floor, all the fear and panic the attacker had caused her moments before—plus the physical pain she’d endured—collected in a tight ball in her chest, transforming into unhinged rage.

The attacker, or Arsehole Supreme, as Charlie liked to call them, had tried to grab the knife which had fallen on the floor. Once again, Charlie’s body reacted automatically, driving her forward. Well, driving her knee straight into the Arsehole Supreme’s crotch.

There was no way she was going to let the person get up off the floor, not whilst Emilie was close by. Charlie would do anything to make sure Emilie had a chance to get out of the house. Sure, the attacker had been there for Charlie; but who was to say that Arsehole Supreme wouldn’t turn their attention to the woman they were obviously obsessed with?

The next thing she recalled was being surrounded by police officers, dragging her off the person on the floor. Charlie’s mind snapped out of her anger-induced haze and instantly focused on finding Emilie. When she’d exited the house, there were people buzzing around everywhere. The whole neighbourhood seemed to be alive with red and blue lights. A second passed before she noticed Emilie pushing through the throng of police and paramedics.

With Emilie in her arms, Charlie had let some of her adrenaline and anger drain away. Knowing Emilie was okay was all she needed. They’d been ushered to the back of a waiting ambulance. Charlie hadn’t noticed the minor cut on her arm. The paramedic made quick work of cleaning it and slapping on a plaster.

Charlie’s focus was on Emilie and the look of shock etched on her face as the person who attacked them was led out of the house in handcuffs. Emilie’s face had drained of all colour.

“Em?” Charlie called, as she watched Emilie stagger towards the police officers restraining the Arsehole Supreme. Whoever this person was, Emilie clearly knew them well.

“How? How is this possible, Buddy?”

“I don’t know, Emilie. As far as I was aware, she was locked up in California. Her release date isn’t for another eighteen months.”

Emilie could feel her body shake. Margo Pike had terrorized Emilie for months. She was the reason Emilie knew Buddy.

“Em, who is that?” Charlie asked from behind. Emilie was paralyzed. Margo was looking directly at her, a smile playing on her lips. “Em?”

“She’s…she’s—”

“Margo Pike was the crazed fan that Emilie had a problem with seven years ago. As far as we were aware, Ms. Pike was serving an eight-year sentence in California for an unrelated incident.”

“Clearly not, Buddy,” Charlie shot. “Why didn’t someone warn Emilie when this Margo bitch was released?”

“Charlie, calm down,” Emilie said softly. Charlie’s rising anger had been enough to break Emilie out of her momentary paralysis. “What happens now, Buddy?”

“Now we take you to the police station for your statements. Margo will be placed in holding until I can arrange to have her transferred to Quebec City.”

“Emilie, Charlie, come on, I’ll take you to the station,” Lola said, making Emilie jump.

Feeling Charlie’s arms around her shoulders, Emilie tried to relax. If she kept up this level of anxiety, she was going to have a heart attack or develop an ulcer.

“Come on,” Charlie whispered, moving them both towards Lola’s jacked-up SUV.

The ride to the station was short. Walking through the main doors, Emilie and Charlie were directed to Buddy, who waited for them at an empty desk. The room was small, with only four desks sitting back-to-back. Each one had piles of paperwork and files on them. So far, Emilie had only seen one other police officer.

Movement at the back of the room drew Emilie’s attention. Margo stood at the bars of the holding cell, smiling widely at her. A shiver ran the length of Emilie’s body.

“This way, Emilie,” Buddy said, leading her away. The office she was put in was just as uninspiring as the main room. “Okay, Emilie, I’m going to take your statement while Officer York takes Charlie’s in the room next door. Once I have everything from you, I’m going to interview Margo.”

“Okay,” Emilie answered automatically.

“Alright, take it from the top. When did you notice something was wrong?”

Emilie took a deep breath before recalling their evening in Tadoussac. By the time she had finished describing the attack in the house, Emilie was completely drained.

“That’s everything,” she commented, tears stinging her eyes. Reliving the attack was harrowing. Emilie held on tight to the edge of her chair, trying to ground herself. The signs of a panic attack felt dangerously close to becoming a reality. She couldn’t break down. Not now. Charlie needed her, and she wouldn’t let Margo win. Not again.

“You did great, Emilie. I’m going to interview Margo now. Once Charlie is done, you can have Lola take you back to the cabin. I asked an officer to grab your belongings from the house in Tadoussac so they should be waiting for you outside. As soon as I know more, I’ll contact you, okay?”

“Thank you, Buddy.”

Charlie paced the ten steps it took to reach the end of the shitty office she’d been dumped in.

“Where the fuck is this Officer York?” she grumbled out loud. All Charlie wanted to do was scoop Emilie up into her arms and run away from it all.

Peeking through the broken aluminium blind that hung from the office door, Charlie saw a young woman in a police officer’s uniform walk her way.

“About bloody time,” she mumbled to herself.

“Sorry for the wait, we’re not really equipped for this kind of thing,” Officer York giggled.

“What? You’re not equipped for police work?” Charlie questioned.

“Oh, no, of course we are. It’s just we don’t have big things like this happen.” Charlie refrained from making any more remarks. She wanted to get this over and done with as fast as possible. “So, let’s get to it, shall we? From the top.”

Charlie began with the brewery, telling Officer York about the woman she’d seen walking past several times.

“Can you identify the woman you saw as the suspect arrested in the house?”

“Nope, she was wearing a wool hat and a scarf that masked her face.” Officer York nodded and made a note. “After that, we got a little spooked, so decided to call it a night. As we walked back, a car swerved towards us. Emilie had to pull me out of the way.”

“Did you get a model or licence plate?”

“No, it all happened too fast.”

“What about the driver? Did you get a look?”

“Nope, didn’t have time to stop and look, you know, because we were trying to avoid getting mowed over.”

“Then what?”

“We got home. Locked all the doors and windows. Emilie called Buddy. As we waited, there was a crash in the bathroom. It sounded like the window had been caved in. I went to listen. I stood by the bathroom door.”

“Did you hear anything else?”

“No, everything went quiet. Emilie came up behind me. We waited but there was no movement. When I turned around to tell her to go back to the living room, I saw a masked person down the hall behind her, holding a knife.”

“And what did the masked assailant do?”

Charlie had to bite her lip from voicing the sarcastic comment floating around her head. “They lunged towards me but Emilie tackled them. They ended up on the ground together. The knife fell out of the attacker’s hand. I pulled Emilie away and then I wrestled the attacker on the floor. I didn’t want them getting up and hurting Emilie. Then you guys came in and took over.”

“Is there anything else you can remember?”

“Nope, that’s the top and bottom of it.”

“Have you ever met Ms. Pike? Seen her around?”

“Never. I only found out who she was when Buddy explained.”

“Great, okay then, that’s it. I’ll give this to Buddy and he will take it from there. You can go now,” Officer York smiled. Charlie returned the smile to be polite. All she wanted to do was get the hell out of there.

Emilie rushed to Charlie as soon as she saw her exit the office with a young police officer in tow. “Charlie,” she sobbed, throwing her arms around Charlie’s shoulders.

“It’s alright, Emilie, it’s done,” Charlie reassured. Emilie wasn’t convinced. Something still felt off.

“Let’s go, you two. The car’s packed and waiting. I’m driving us straight back to the cabin,” Lola interrupted.

The car journey was a silent affair. Emilie had stayed tucked into Charlie’s side the entire trip. They were about fifteen minutes from their destination when Charlie shifted in her seat. Emilie sat up. “Can you tell me what happened with this Margo woman?”

Emilie closed her eyes for a moment. She really thought she’d left all that behind her. “Margo was, or is, a superfan. Seven years ago, I started receiving fan mail from her. Nothing out of the ordinary to begin with. Then she wrote to me saying she’d had a dream—one that told her she needed to be with me. Not romantically. Her dream told her I was her sister, she had to be with me, and that it was her duty to protect me. I ignored it at first, but then weird things started happening.

“She was stalking me. Somehow, she gained access to my private rooms in the hotels I was staying at during my time on tour. She would leave me things. Then she started getting really possessive. She started sending threats. She said I was hers and that one day we would be together.

“Buddy was the officer in charge of the case. It took a few weeks, but eventually, he caught Margo. She ended up serving a few months in jail. From what Buddy told me, it wasn’t the first time she’d been in trouble. Her criminal record was quite thick. Buddy kept track of her for a while after she got out, but she was soon back inside again. She wasn’t due for release anytime soon, which is why Buddy didn’t connect her to this.”

“Jesus, Em. I can’t believe you had to go through all that.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t the best time.” Emilie fiddled with her cuff. Should she voice what was niggling at her? “I just…”

“What?”

“Something doesn’t add up.” Emilie had been churning over everything from the second she saw Margo being escorted out of the house in handcuffs. The attack in the woods, the car swerving towards Charlie, and then the subsequent attack in the house was Margo. Emilie didn’t need Buddy to confirm that for her to know it was true. What didn’t make sense were the notes. Well, the note to Sam and Anna, to be precise. It was too familiar. Charlie’s friends had only been in Canada for a couple of days. They hadn’t really been out in public a lot. Well, not enough for Margo to work out that Sam was Charlie’s best friend, or that Anna was pregnant. So, if the notes didn’t come from Margo, then who sent them?

“In what way? The woman was caught red handed, love.”

“I know that. It’s just the notes. They don’t fit.”

“What, you think there’s someone else involved?”

“Maybe, I don’t know. I’m probably just being paranoid. I’ll wait for Buddy to fill me in.”

Charlie didn’t think Emilie was being paranoid. The notes didn’t connect to Margo. Charlie was sure of it. Whoever wrote the second note knew where to strike, and that could only have happened if the person had intimate knowledge of Charlie’s friendship group.

By the time they got back to the cabin, Charlie was filled with restless energy. What were they supposed to do now? The last thing Charlie wanted was to stay in the cabin. Too much had happened there. Would Emilie go away with her if she asked? Only one way to find out, she supposed.

“Em, would you consider coming back to the UK with me?”

“When? Now?”

“Yes, if Buddy says it’s okay. I want you away from here, Em. Just for a little while. We can go back to the manor or your cottage. I really don’t care as long as we’re together and safe.”

“If that’s what you want, then of course I’ll go with you. I think we could both do with a little calm.”

Charlie breathed easily for the first time in weeks. “Call Buddy. Double-check it’s okay for us to go. I’m going to call Sam and let her know. She’s going to lose her shit when I tell her what’s happened, but I think it will help her calm down if she knows we are coming home.”

Emilie took herself to the kitchen to grab her phone, leaving Charlie with the unenviable task of calling her best friend. The last thing she wanted was to pile on any additional stress. Sam was already wound tighter than a coiled spring over Anna. The phone rang twice before it was answered.

“Hi, Charlie, Sam is just in the shower,” Anna said. She sounded tired.

“Hey, you, how are you feeling?”

“Tired. It’s ridiculous. I can’t move more than ten metres before I need to sit down,” Anna grumbled.

“You just take it easy. Jesus, Anna, you’re like growing a whole person in your body. Rest up, love.”

“I am, honestly. I wish your best friend would be as calm as you. She’s buzzing around like I’m going to drop the baby at any minute.”

Charlie laughed. She knew Sam was going to be a worrywart. “It’s only because she adores you. I’ve never seen her so excited.”

A contented sigh filtered through the phone. “I know. I just want her to enjoy this with me, though.”

“Do you want me to talk to her?”

“Yes, please, she might listen to you. Anyway, how are you? Healing okay?”

Charlie worried her bottom lip. She was expecting to speak to Sam, but maybe telling Anna first was a good thing. “So, there’s been a bit of a situation.”

“Okay, care to elaborate?”

“I will, but I need you to promise to not get worked up. I’m already expecting Sam to fly off the handle. I need you to be the calm one.”

“I’ll try.”

Sucking in a breath, Charlie launched into the story. She was selective with the details, no need to scare the crap out of everyone. “So, now we’re back at the cabin. I think it’s better if I bring Emilie over to the UK.”

“Mon Dieu ,” Anna rasped.

“Yeah, it’s been intense.”

“Just get yourselves home. I’ll talk to Sam. Don’t worry, she’ll just be happy you’re safe.”

“Thanks, Anna. Give the little peanut a kiss from their favourite aunt. I’ll call soon.”

Okay, that was the hard part done…kind of. Letting Anna break the news to Sam was a little cowardly, but after the past few days, Charlie reasoned she’d earned the right to be chickenshit this time around.

Emilie was going to have to relay what Buddy had just told her. Couldn’t she get five minutes of peace before more shit got piled on?

Charlie suggesting they head to the UK was a great idea. As much as Emilie loved her cabin, it only chilled her to the bone now. Memories of Charlie’s seemingly lifeless body just outside her door had tarnished her home. Spud would be okay with Jess for a little while. If Emilie stayed in the UK for any length of time, she would arrange for her to be sent over.

So, she needed to talk to Charlie, but she didn’t want to do it now. In fact, she’d wait until they were safely on the way to the airfield. Maybe until they were in the air.

As soon as she’d gotten the okay from Buddy, Emilie organized her private jet to be ready to go within the hour. “Okay, honey, Buddy gave us the green light. I’m going to pack. I’d like for us to be gone sooner rather than later. Can you call Jess and ask if she can keep Spud?”

“Sure thing. Everything go okay with Buddy? Any new updates?”

“He’s only just finished with Margo. He’ll call when we arrive in the UK.” Emilie hated lying. Well, lying by omission. It’s just that when Charlie learned the truth, she was going to go apoplectic.

“Sure everything is cool?” Charlie asked, squinting her eyes. Emilie was so bad at lying.

“Fine. Come on, let’s get going.” Not waiting for Charlie to respond, Emilie bounded up the stairs, grabbed her suitcase, and began packing.

Lola was humming gently to herself as she drove Emilie and Charlie to the airfield. Thankfully, Lola was more than happy to accompany them to Charlie’s house. It was at Charlie’s request that Emilie asked her bodyguard to come along. Lola was pumped. She’d never been to the UK before.

“Two minutes away, guys,” Lola called. Emilie sat holding Charlie’s hand, her thumb stroking rhythmically on her skin. The hangar came into view. Emilie was so thankful she had a private jet. The last thing they needed was to fight their way through Quebec’s major airport. The press would be everywhere. Emilie wasn’t naïve enough to think the recent attack on her and Charlie wouldn’t have leaked by now. Emilie could picture the swarm of paparazzi that was probably staking out the airport just in case Emilie showed up. They’d seen a few reporter vans in the area near the cabin as they drove away.

Lola pulled the car to a stop, got out, and opened the door for Emilie. Tires squealing in the distance gave Lola a reason to shove Emilie back inside the car.

“What the hell?” Charlie barked. Emilie had fallen on her lap, which in normal circumstances would have been great. Emilie sat herself up and peered out of the car window. To her utter horror, she saw Lydia hauling herself out of the car that had come to a stop close to the jet.

“Shit,” Emilie hissed.

“What’s going on?” Charlie asked, craning her neck to look out the window. “Emilie, why is Lydia here?”

“I was going to tell you on the plane,” Emilie said, her voice nearly at a whisper. Argh, she thought they had time to get away before Lydia caught up.

Before Emilie could register another thought, Charlie climbed into the driver’s seat and opened the door. Lola should have known a locked rear passenger door wouldn’t stop a tenacious Charlie Baxter.

“Charlie, stop!” Emilie called, climbing out after her.

“Lydia, what’s going on?” Charlie asked calmly. Emilie watched Charlie approach the woman—who looked unhinged—slowly, with her palms up.

“Charlie, get back in the car,” Lola barked.

“Nope, not this time. Lydia?”

“You!” Lydia screamed, pointing her finger at Charlie. Her face was red with anger. “You’re a fucking parasite, Charlotte! Nothing I do gets rid of you, does it?” Lydia bellowed, gesticulating wildly. All the time, Charlie stood still, never flinching. “You are not good enough for her. You never were. What do I have to do, hmm?” At this point, it looked as if Lydia was talking to herself as she paced back and forth in front of them. Her hands grabbed at her own hair. Emilie winced. Lydia was going to injure herself at this rate.

“Lydia,” Emilie said loudly. Lydia’s gaze snapped to hers. “Lydia, please calm down.”

“Why won’t you see what a fucking virus she is? Look how well you did when I got rid of her the first time. Emilie, I’m the one who looks out for you. I always have, not her. She just distracts you—takes you away from your music.”

“It was you back then,” Charlie growled. “I knew it.”

“I did what needed to be done!” Lydia screamed. “Emilie is a goddess. All you ever did was take her away from me. She was my friend, Charlotte. Mine! I was the one she was supposed to be with, not you. Why couldn’t you just stay away?”

Emilie saw Lydia reach around to her back. Did she have a weapon? Fear screamed its way through Emilie’s mind. She had to do something.

“Lydia, please. I understand why you did it. I do, really. I was just about to put Charlie on a plane to go home. I’m staying here with you.” Emilie didn’t know what else to do. Lydia was raging and Emilie could see she was walking a fine line. At any minute, Lydia could snap.

“You’re lying,” Lydia replied, but there was a sliver of hope in her voice.

“I’m not, I swear. Charlie, tell her.” Emilie prayed Charlie would play along.

“It’s true. We’re done.” Fuck, Emilie hated hearing those words come out of Charlie’s mouth.

“You’re leaving for good?” Lydia barked, her face transforming from pure rage to delight.

“Yup, you win, Lydia. She’s all yours.”

God, Emilie wanted to vomit.

Lydia slowed her pacing. She was no longer reaching for whatever she had behind her back. “I knew you’d see sense, Emilie. All she does is bring you trouble. If it wasn’t for Charlie, Margo would never have gotten involved. See? I’m saving you.” Emilie had to bite her tongue. Buddy had relayed what Margo confessed back to Emilie over the phone.

Lydia had apparently contacted Margo six months ago, writing to her in prison. The timing made sense. That was about the same time Mr. Eccleton had first approached Emilie about the Pickerton ball. Stupidly, Emilie had confided in Jess and Lydia that going to the ball could mean she would see Charlie again.

By all accounts, that had been what set Lydia off. She’d contacted Margo, forming one hell of a fucked-up alliance. According to Margo, when it became clear Emilie was bringing Charlie back to Canada, Lydia had convinced her Charlie was a threat that needed to be eliminated. Margo also denied sending the two notes.

It all sounded so far-fetched, but Buddy confirmed Margo’s story. Margo provided letters and emails sent from Lydia.

“I appreciate you looking out for me, Lyds.” Emilie smiled, which hurt her soul right now. In the corner of her eye, Emilie saw Lola move. With Lydia distracted by Emilie, Lola had time to draw and fire her stun gun and drop Lydia to the ground in a writhing mess. Her body jerked erratically from the pulses of electricity surging through her nervous system.

“Charlie,” Emilie called, rushing to her side.

“We’re good, Em,” Charlie responded, still staring at Lydia on the floor. Lola was on top of her, securing her hands.

“I’m sorry—”

“Stop,” Charlie said, finally looking away from Lydia and into Emilie’s eyes. “I think we’ve both apologised enough to last a lifetime.”

“I know but—”

“But nothing. Emilie, nothing Lydia said is a surprise. Well, maybe it is a surprise because, well, shit, she fully lost the plot. What I mean, is that me and you already forgave our past selves, right? I don’t want us constantly rehashing this,” Charlie said, waving her hand towards Lydia. “Enough is enough, Em. We have to let it go. Lydia will deal with the consequences. I hope she gets the help she needs. I really do. Buddy will sort all that. I just want us to get on that jet and fly away. We have so much to look forward to and I’m sick of looking back. It’s done. I love you, Emilie, and you love me. That’s it.”

What could she say to that? Yes, bad things had happened to them, and they would need to process it, but hell, Charlie was right. They’d waited long enough to start their lives together.

Emilie cupped Charlie’s face. “I’m so glad you’re back in my life. I love you, Charlie Baxter. I want to keep your heart safe with mine for the rest of my days. Will you let me?”

“Always, Emilie.”

Epilogue

“O h. My. God! I cannot believe I’m backstage at an Emilie Martin concert,” Kim squealed, causing everyone around her to laugh. Charlie grinned at her friend’s excitement.

“You know you’re friends with her, right?” Anna laughed from her chair. Charlie couldn’t believe how big she was now. Sam and Anna had wasted no time getting pregnant for the second time. Millie was such a good kid they’d wanted her to have a sibling ASAP.

“I know that, but this…this is different. I mean, look at her up there! She’s awesome,” Kim said, swooning. Charlie caught Hélène’s eye roll.

“You are ridiculous,” Hélène chuckled.

“Well, you married me like this,” Kim laughed, kissing Hélène soundly on the lips. “Oh, listen, Emilie’s about to sing Timeless .”

Charlie’s heart was going at the rate of a hummingbird’s wings. No one—not even Sam—knew about her plans. Scratch that, there were a couple of exceptions, and they came in the form of Jess, who Charlie had become great friends with over the last two years and had helped her set it up—and a couple of crew members who were in on it, too, and sworn to secrecy.

“I’ll be back in a minute,” Charlie shouted over the noise of the crowd. Emilie’s new release, Timeless , had topped the charts immediately and had stayed there for weeks. Sam shot Charlie a look. Her best friend could sense there was something going on.

Running as fast as she could, Charlie made it to the top of the construction platform at the back of the stage. Everything had to be timed perfectly. Slipping on to the platform that held her grand piano, Charlie let the safety guy clip her in. Listening to Emilie sing, Charlie began her countdown. She hoped Emilie wouldn’t be mad at the interruption.

The natural lull in the song appeared at the end of the first verse, and that was Charlie’s cue. Pressing her fingers over the keys, Charlie played. The piano gently lowered, and Charlie had to stop herself from laughing when she saw pure shock written across Emilie’s face.

This was the first time Charlie had ever joined Emilie on stage. They only played together at home. Charlie loved the piano, but her career and passion remained photography. Tonight, though, was about her and Emilie, and hopefully, the start of something new.

Finally, the piano reached the stage floor. Charlie was completely immersed in Emilie’s eyes, who had stopped singing and was turned in her direction, her back to the crowd, jaw on the floor. The crowd was going nuts.

It hadn’t taken long for their relationship to hit the press, not after the story broke about Lydia and Margo. It was something they’d put firmly in the past.

Charlie’d had to lie low for a while. The press hounded them both, but they took an exceptional interest in Charlie. Finding out Charlie and Emilie had been together in school, and then about the breakup, provided the tabloids with the heart-wrenching love story they craved. Not to mention the revelation Charlie was the elusive Charlotte Munroe. That had upped the interest in Charlie tenfold.

Thankfully, Emilie had helped guide Charlie through her new reality. There had been times when Charlie worried the pressure of Emilie’s stardom would cause them stress, but it actually brought them closer together.

The reaction from Emilie’s fans towards Charlie had been overwhelming. They treated her like she was a superstar in her own right, which baffled Charlie to no end. S.C. Photography had become so successful because of Charlie’s new fame, she’d had to talk to Sam about hiring a bunch of new photographers.

Charlie could now pick and choose her projects, which was a godsend, especially when Emilie decided to tour again after an extended break. Emilie had hired a new manager who was wonderful. Charlie knew Emilie was much happier now she got to do what she wanted without the pressure Jack had constantly put on her.

Tonight was Emilie’s final show and the perfect place for Charlie to surprise her. Taking a calming breath, Charlie sang the second verse. She could see tears brimming in Emilie’s eyes. In her peripheral vision, she saw Sam, Anna, Kim, and Hélène beaming, as was Jess, who stood to the right of the piano.

Charlie poured every ounce of love she had for Emilie into the song. The song they had written together six months ago. The crowd was getting louder, but Charlie easily muted them as she played and sang. The only person in the stadium she tuned into was Emilie.

Considering she’d hijacked Emilie’s concert, Charlie wasn’t worried anymore that Emilie would be upset. The final few notes of Timeless echoed through the stadium. Emilie hadn’t moved a muscle, which Charlie was thankful for because she would seriously mess with the plan if she did.

The crowd took a lifetime to settle down, but eventually an anticipatory silence fell. Charlie was breathing heavily and not just because she’d sang whilst playing. This was the moment.

“Emilie,” Charlie said, a little surprised to hear her voice ring out across the vast arena so loudly. Charlie held her breath. Saying Emilie’s name was Spud’s cue. God, she hoped their weeks of training stuck. It had been difficult to train Spud to sit at Emilie’s side without Emilie catching on.

Sure enough, from stage left, Charlie grinned to see her furry best friend—who had the cutest doggy ear defenders on—trot out with a small basket in her mouth. Like the best girl she was, Spud sat at Emilie’s side, waiting. It took Emilie a second to register something was happening. It was probably the huge gasp from the crowd that finally snatched her attention away from Charlie’s eyes.

Charlie chuckled when Emilie missed Spud sitting there. Instead, she looked over her shoulder at the crowd with confusion plastered all over her face. Finally, Emilie brought her gaze back to the stage and looked down.

“Holy shit,” could be heard through her microphone, causing the crowd to whistle.

“Emilie Martin,” Charlie began. Emilie snapped her wet eyes from Spud back to Charlie. “Will you marry me?” The crowd lost their shit completely. Charlie wished she had ear defenders. The time between Charlie asking and Emilie’s reaction felt like forever. But when she saw Emilie drop her mic and run towards her, Charlie had her answer. Quickly unhooking herself from the safety line, Charlie jumped from the piano platform and swept Emilie up into her arms.

“Yes,” Emilie whispered in her ear.

Sobs ripped through them as they embraced fiercely. It was only when the chants of “Kiss her, kiss her” got to a fever pitch that they put a bit of space between them. Charlie captured Emilie’s lips, soaking in every morsel of love radiating from her.

“I love you,” Charlie whispered against Emilie’s lips. Emilie dove back in, crushing their mouths together again. A sudden thought hit Charlie. Spud! Her canine sidekick was still sitting diligently in place, as instructed. Breaking away from Emilie, Charlie called her name. Spud sprang into action, running over with the basket still between her teeth.

“Good girl, Spud,” Charlie cooed, rubbing her head before taking the ring box off the little cushion nestled in the basket. “Off you go,” she added, which was Spud’s command to leave the stage. She’d done so well that Charlie could only laugh when Spud ignored her completely, thumping her tail on the floor before zooming off around the stage to the pure delight of the crowd and band members.

Charlie dropped to her knee and looked up into Emilie’s eyes. “It was always you, Em. Always.” Gently taking Emilie’s hand, Charlie slipped on the sapphire ring she’d spent weeks agonising over. It fit perfectly.

Emilie’s heart was still thudding like a bass drum as she pulled Charlie up after she’d slipped the most gorgeous ring on her finger. This was all so unreal. It was already an emotionally charged night. The last concert of a tour was like that. Together with the band, she’d put everything she had into the show. Timeless was the last song, and she’d been looking forward to performing it. After all, it was about her love for Charlie, and she could never get enough of that.

When the sound of a piano had begun just before the second verse, Emilie thought she was imagining it at first. They’d written the song together with Charlie playing the melody on her piano, so naturally, Emilie believed she was so lost in the music on stage that she was imagining Charlie playing.

Then it hit her that no, in fact, she wasn’t imagining anything because there was a goddamn grand piano descending from the heavens with Charlie attached to it. All cognitive functions had ceased to work after that. Emilie was just a passenger along for the ride as her body froze in place, watching the wonder that was her girlfriend, sing their song to her on stage in front of thousands.

When the song was over and Charlie spoke her name, Emilie was so stunned she still hadn’t been able to move. It was only after the crowd grew so loud that her brain kicked in again. She knew something was happening. Peering down to see Spud sitting by her side, holding a little basket with a ring box inside, had almost caused her to pass out. Then Charlie had spoken those four words.

Emilie knew they would marry. That had never been in question. She hadn’t wanted to rush Charlie, though. The change in lifestyle for Charlie was huge, and Emilie was scared that deep down she would find it all too much. Her worries were, of course, for nothing, because time and again, Charlie had shown her how devoted to them she was.

The thunderous applause from the audience brought them out of their bubble. Turning to the whistles and shouts, Emilie couldn’t stop her laugh breaking free. Grabbing Charlie’s hand, she walked them closer to the edge of the stage and took a little bow. Charlie laughed and did the same. Shrieks from the side of the stage grew louder as Kim, followed by Hélène, Sam, and a much slower Anna, crossed the stage to embrace them.

“I told her not to run out here,” Hélène laughed.

“I’m sorry,” Kim cried. “I just had to hug you both. Charlie, that was…wow.”

“I’m so happy for you both.” Sam had to shout to be heard. The group smashed together in one big family hug.

“I need to pee,” Anna moaned after a few seconds. Emilie threw her head back, laughing along with the rest of them as Anna struggled free, waddling away to find the nearest loo, waving at the crowd as she went.

“I think your fans would like to hear from you,” Charlie whispered in her ear. Emilie would never tire of the electricity that thrummed through her body when Charlie spoke.

Pulling herself away from the rest of the group, Emilie turned to the crowd. Picking up the mic she’d dropped, she steadied her breath, ready to address her fans that were still going batshit crazy.

“Well,” Emilie started and then laughed. “This was a surprise.” The crowd whistled louder. “Sorry for the interruption there, folks,” she laughed again. “How about we have one more song?” Emilie didn’t need an answer. The arena was vibrating with applause. Stepping up to Jess, Emilie gave her a quick peck on the cheek, whispering, “Thank you”, before picking up her guitar. Jess was the only one who could have helped Charlie pull off a proposal on the stage like that.

A crew member rushed on stage with a mic stand and stool. Charlie went to leave the stage with her friends, but Emilie stopped them. This was their moment, and she wanted her family to be a part of it. There was only one song she could play in that moment; the melody that had kept her mind calm before a show for twenty years. It was a song that imbued everything Emilie ever felt for Charlotte Munroe all those years ago, and the sheer elation she held in her heart now for Charlie Baxter.

“This is for you, my love,” Emilie said softly into the microphone, looking towards Charlie. She strummed the first chord to Losing My Head Over You and then she sang. No longer did she drown in the memories of losing the girl she loved. Tonight, she sang, swimming in the love and promise of their future.

Afterword

Thank you for reading The french Connection Boxset.

Please spare a few more minutes of your time by heading over to Amazon and Goodreads to leave a review.

Other Titles By Alyson Root

A Dance Towards Forever

Diving Into Her

Always Emilie

Broken Parts Included

Love & Other Wild Things

Finding Molly Parsons

Keeping Carmen Ruiz

The Wisdom of Bug

Sleigh Bells Ring

Risking Immortality

Waiting for Eternity

Fighting for Infinity

Mob's Seduction

www.alysonroot.com