#Faders

The Devil’s Artwork

Faders   The Devil's Artwork

Published by C.M. Owens at Smashwords

Text Copyright 2013 by Christie M. Owens

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only.  This eBook may not be re-sold or given to other people.  If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient.  Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

This is a work of fiction.  Characters, names, places, events, or incidents are products of the author's imagination.  Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or to places or incidents is purely coincidental.

PROLOGUE

“Daddy?”

“Yes sweetie?”

He stares down lovingly at his green-eyed, nine-year-old angel clutched in his arms as she stares up at him with heart-melting innocence.  An unbidden twang of guilt surges through him, and he holds his daughter for what might be the last time, knowing this memory will most likely be faded from her mind.

This memory is not for her though - it’s for him.  He doesn’t want to reveal his fear, so he masks his silent torture just as any good father would.

“Daddy, why did he make the viewer?  Were wars really that bad?”

He cringes after hearing her question that is laced with more angst and burden than any child should ever be conflicted by.  Finally, he lets out a loud sigh and speaks softly in an attempt to ease her troubled mind.

“Babygirl, sometimes if someone mixes fear, desperation, anxiety, and brilliance into one pot and lets it stew for too long, the result can be one such as Adler had with his creation.

“The technology they had at that time was more advanced than we can even begin to fathom.  The reason that incredible science no longer exists is because of the mistreatment of it.

“Mass weapons of destruction were conveyed on assembly lines, creating an alarming amount of chaos.  Virtually every form of technology in existence was eventually faded, along with all of the makers of such in an attempt to rid the world of threats, leaving us with the bare minimum.

“All of this is because that sort of technology in the hands of a man like Adler crossed a bridge that divided genius and insanity.  Gerard Adler was a noble man with good intentions, but as you’ve heard me say many times before – the road to hell was paved with good intentions.

“He simply wanted to view the world from an outside perspective.  He never intended for his creation to carry such power.  The reason it’s called the viewer is because it was built to view the world – past, present, and future.  It was a mere fluke he discovered its hidden power.  He never intended for the machine to go rogue and alter the world.  He was naïve to believe he could single-handedly create a world without conflict.

“There can never be such a thing as utopia.  He never meant for the viewer to fade the lives of innocent people fighting for something worth fighting for.  He even tried to destroy the machine after he realized the destruction it was causing, but the power was too immense for even the creator’s mind to comprehend.

“It ripped a hole in the fabric of space and time and learned to exist outside the parameters of the physical world.  His desire to rid the world of monsters led to the creation of the worst monster of them all.  You can’t use evil to fight evil.”

“Do you think we’ll ever find a way to destroy it?” she asks with such hope dripping from her tone.

He sighs loudly once more.  “It’s been a hundred years sweet one, and no one has been successful yet, but I think one day we’ll find a way.  If anyone is brilliant enough to do such a thing it’s my babygirl.”

Her mouth turns up in a wide, appreciative smile upon hearing her father’s admiration.  He’s secretly fighting the tears that have been trying to claw their way to the surface.  Her smile dissipates suddenly and a frown takes its place, as if something has soured her moment of joy.

“Sometimes I worry it’s going to fade me one day.”

His heart almost breaks into pieces.  Now the tears are trying even harder to breach his wavering eyelids.  He wraps her up in his strong, burly, yet gentle arms and softly coos in her ear to calm her.

“Arena, no fate could ever come to a girl as sweet and wonderful as you.  Do you think daddy would ever allow such a thing?”

She relaxes her tense body in his arms and smiles once more.

“No.  Do you promise to always be here?” she says with such anticipation.

The door swings open before he has to lie to the precious child in his arms.  A meek, frail man pokes his head in with lowered eyes.

“Chief Clash, Malfus is looking for you.  The men are ready.”

The chief stands up reluctantly and steadies his trembling hands.  What he’s about to do will forever change his daughters’ lives.  They may never forgive him.

A small, blue-eyed girl comes barreling in and embraces him in a warm hug.  His voice is kind as he strokes her cheek.

“Helena, my dear, I’m glad you came to send me off.”

He scoops up both of his girls and hugs them tighter than he ever has.  A tear finally escapes and he discreetly wipes it away, clinging desperately to the last bit of strength that remains in order to hold the flood gates shut.

He can’t fall apart in front of his girls - not right now.  He puts them down very gingerly and kneels to be eyelevel with them.

“You girls behave for your mother.  Daddy loves you both.”

His throat catches, so he doesn’t attempt to say any more out of fear it might be his undoing.

Helena speaks first to reciprocate her father’s affections.  “I love you too.”

Arena hugs her father again with arms a little stronger than she should have at such a young age.

“I love you too, Daddy.”

That phrase would forever be her worst enemy from that moment on – I love you.

CHAPTER 1

HUNGER AND RAGE

My heart is pounding so fiercely I can feel it begging to escape the confines of my chest.  I feel my body swaying from the exhausting hunt and now the life-threatening chase.

They’re gaining speed, and I’m only running slower.

It’s been days since I’ve eaten a good meal, and I can’t outrun them feeling this weak.

I look down at the long string carrying the rabbits and squirrels and sigh with irritation.  The math is simple – I can’t run fast enough while lugging an extra thirty pounds.

I reluctantly toss them into a bush and cover them with the few bits of snow that still lie on the cool March ground, complements of the shade provided by the outstretched arms of the enormous oaks.

Then I take off again, letting my heart stumble for an appropriate beat just when it thought I was going to let it rest.

My strength wavers more as the vicious barking grows louder.  Echoed voices urge the hellhounds to quicken their already impossible pace.

My legs burn with adrenaline and my already weary heart is forced to pump even harder.  Pain pierces my lungs as they desperately try to grasp a breath of air.  My body screams from the inside to protest the abuse I’m punishing it with.

I can’t take any more.  My body throws itself forward, expelling the only contents on my stomach – water.  I quickly wipe my mouth and continue my fervent pace.

I see the wide trench I’m quickly approaching, and I grit my teeth and charge even faster with my last surge of energy.  I wait until the last possible moment and leap as far as I can.  It isn’t far enough though.

Oh crap.  This is going to hurt.

I crash into the far side of the trench and bounce down the steep slide.  I scramble around in a panic to get up and pull myself out of the trench as the voices become more defined.

Out of nowhere, a figure flies over the trench.  I feel sick to my stomach when I realize I’ve just been caught.

Think, Arena.  Think!

I’m dumbfounded when the hand of my enemy pops down and suddenly becomes a rescuing hand instead.

I look up to see a guy in his mid-twenties with mystifying blue eyes, a body that should be worshipped, and black hair that sweeps his brow in the most gracious way.  He yells, urging me to snap out of my foolish trance.

“Come on!  Grab my hand!  You have to go!”

I do as he says, and he pulls me from earth with one swift, sweeping motion.  His steel blue eyes stare into mine as if he can see all of my inner thoughts.

In that moment, all the sounds around me fade - the violent, persistent snapping of the tree limbs, the howling hounds, the crunching of the dead leaves beneath the feet of my pursuers - and I feel lost.

My eyes are the only things not failing me in this moment – the rest of my senses have shut down, leaving my sight to stand alone.

I’ve always been strong, confident, and quick on my feet, but pinned beneath his gaze, I feel exposed, awkward, vulnerable, and inexplicably in awe.

His mouth is moving, but I can’t focus enough to hear the words coming out.  Finally, my sanity returns and his words are audible and loud as they crash through my ridiculously entranced barrier.

“What the hell are you doing?  Go!  You have to go now!”

The barking is too close now.  I don’t say anything, mostly because not all of my cognitive functions have returned yet, and partially because I really am clueless as to what I should say.

I turn and begin racing away once more, praying it’s the hunger that has driven me into a foolish spiral.

I quickly glance back and our eyes meet once again.  I try to shake off the ridiculous distraction as I turn back around and retreat to the sanctuary that is my village.  As I race toward my hut, I hear the dogs crossing our camp lines.  I abruptly stop running and turn to face the music.  I cringe like a scolded child as I hear the voice of Malfus.

“Bring me the one who has trespassed now!”

He’s pissed.  Really, really pissed.

Johnny whips around to find my eyes.  His sandy blond hair brushes his forehead as he does so.  As my best friend, he quickly assesses I’m the trespasser.  He rolls his eyes and puts his head in his hands to express his exasperation all the clearer.

Our clan chief, Jespin, fumbles around nervously as he addresses Malfus.

“Malfus… we haven’t had… anyone to trespass. We’ve been here all day long, working in the greenhouses, preparing the food for the banquet.”

The damn banquet that gets more food than we see in a month is what he should tack on to the end of that statement.  Sniveling coward.

Malfus makes no attempt to hide his aggravation for Jespin’s denial.  He speaks with an even more intimidating tone.

“Don’t you dare lie to me!  The dogs tracked the scent here.  I want to know the identity of the trespasser right this minute!” he blares.

I start to speak, but Helena beats me to it.  She’s barely a year older, but I swear she’s wise beyond her years.  She too has realized Malfus is looking for me.

Damn it.

It’s as if I’m wearing a sign – look at me, I’m the fucking trespasser.

She speaks in a far too humble and apologetic tone as she gently murmurs, “I’m sorry, Malfus.  It was me.  I was picking flowers for the banquet decorations tomorrow.  I didn’t mean to wander so far into the woods.  I didn’t even realize how far I had strayed.  I swear I meant no disrespect.  It won’t happen again.”

Her eyes stay locked onto his without the slightest trace of fear or hesitation.  Damn she’s good at lying.

Note to self.

Malfus seems to relax slightly.  He even lets a small smirk twitch as he replies with a much gentler tone, “See that it doesn’t.  We don’t need to be chasing you around the forest.  Though, I do commend you on your unbelievable speed.”

His eyes narrow and his brow arches at her as if now he’s questioning whether or not she’s telling the truth.  She doesn’t falter though.  Her tone remains sincere despite her dishonesty.

“Yes, I’ve always been quick.  I panicked when I heard the dogs, and my feet almost ran faster than I could keep up.  Again, I’m truly sorry.  I meant no harm.”

She bows her head slightly toward him as a sign of submission.  He relaxes again as if he does believe her.

Whew.

Then he continues with a business air to his voice.

“We’ll have some more joining you at the end of the week.  They appear to be good workers, and they’ll need places to sleep.  I’m sure you’ll have their accommodations ready.”

I scowl at his audacity to spring this on us.  We already have too many mouths to feed, and he gives us very little food to do it.  He expects us to farm the lands, and then he and his puppets come to collect the food instantly after the harvesting.

All of the meaty game is in the woods, and he claims that land to be off limits to us.  We’re supposed to all be one tribe; however, nothing could be farther from the truth.

Our tribe is the Shaylan, but we only refer to the warriors as the Shaylan - the muscled up, testosterone overloaded, dumb-as-dirt warriors.  The rest of us have contracted names for our own individual clans, and each clan has a specific task.

We’re the Tympest - the planters of the tribe.  We grow and cultivate, as well as handle the farm animals.  We just don’t get to eat the damn food we’ve procured for the rest of the tribe.

My thoughts are interrupted when I notice the guy who saved me earlier.  His tall stature seems even more pronounced now, and my mouth quivers slightly from the captivating gaze that now holds me captive once again.

He’s smiling at me, reminding me he knows my secret as Malfus continues to speak of the engagement banquet.

I feel a tug as my mouth tries to return the smile he’s so freely sharing, and it takes all my strength to subdue to stupid reaction that feels more like an involuntary reflex.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Malfus notices the obvious moment between us, and now he’s smiling too.

Damn!

“Maybe this will be the year Arena joins us,” Malfus says, though it sounds more like a command rather than the civil request he tries to pass it off as.

There’s no way in hell I’m responding to him.  It disgusts me to know how easy it is for him to speak my name considering the last time I saw my father he was going to meet with Malfus – according to my journal.

Though my father lived until I was nine, all of my memories of him were faded for almost two years when the viewer reverted back to the point of conflict and faded him when I was about to turn eight.  The only things I have to tell me about those lost two years are the journals I kept – the viewer’s blind spot.

It’s the only way any of us ever know what we’ve lost, and we cling to them like lifelines.

Malfus somehow eluded the wrath of the viewer when my father could not.  My father would have never started a war without the push of Malfus behind him.

My heart shutters bitterly, forcing the pain out of my mind, refusing to relive that torture again.  Against my best attempts to do otherwise, my eyes trail back to the flawless man staring into the depths of my soul.

I almost hate myself for staring back, but he’s so remarkably gorgeous.  Fortunately, he breaks the eye contact I can’t seem to.  His eyes are like magnets and I’m the perfect polar opposite.

Crap.

He looks down at the ground with a smile still glued to his face.  I’m still scowling over this whole charade, refusing to acknowledge Malfus.  Then my mother finally speaks in my place, breaking the silence.

“She will be there this year.  I can assure you of that.”

I jerk my head violently to glare at her, but she lets me know not to object.  Only she has a look that can stop me dead in my tracks.  I wish she’d use it on Malfus instead of me.  Life would definitely be easier if she did.

This whole thing is really pissing me off.  I just wanted to get us some food, and now I have to go to the banquet of fools.  I don’t think so.

The voice of Malfus intrudes on my thoughts once more.

“Well then, with all that settled, my men and I need to head back.  We’ll need to make sure we’re in fine shape for the women tomorrow.”

He smiles warmly at my mother and even winks.

Stupid son of a bitch.  I’ll fucking rip-

“I trust you will be attending as well, Meredith?” he asks, making my thoughts stop and my fists clench.

I can see the discomfort in my mother’s eyes as she responds with forced eloquence.

“Yes.  Of course, Malfus.”

His satisfied smirk makes me want to punch him in the throat.  A growing rage blazes inside of me with all the intensity of hell’s fire.  I’m ready to throw every knife strapped under the leg of my pants at his head.

I refrain though - partly because I don’t feel like dying today at the hands of his minions, and partly because I don’t have the strength to accomplish such a feat anyhow.

I’m weak and tired, but more importantly… I’m hungry.

Malfus has been so obviously smitten with her for years.  She has avoided these parties just as I have.  I only pray some graveling piece of trash throws herself at him and relieves my mother of her burden.

He does love for someone to sing him praises – arrogant bastard that he is – and there are plenty of foolishly desperate women to do just that.

I look up to realize they’ve started to exit.  Helena grabs me by my arm and forcefully drags me to our hut.  I look back one last time to see the mystery guy staring again before turning to leave, his smile finally infects me, and I can’t stop the corners of my mouth from turning up.

I jerk my head to the front as we disappear behind the walls of our hut.

Helena is a little pissed, to say the least.  Actually irate would be a better depiction of her current state.  It’s actually a little comical.

“Have you absolutely lost your mind?” she explodes.

I jerk free from her grip.  Now I’m pissed too as relayed by my tone.

“No.  I’m perfectly sane.  It’s all of you who have lost your minds.  We shouldn’t have to cower down to the likes of them.  They are no better than we are.  We deserve to eat better than their filthy mutts do.  They feed their dogs better us.  Do you understand that?” I scream out in my scolding, unwavering tirade.

She sighs and shakes her head, her voice now softer and more understanding.

“You went hunting?”

“Of course I went hunting.  Why else would I have crossed their lines?” I grumble with annoyance still lingering in my voice.

“I don’t know.”  Then she looks toward the door and speaks quietly.  “What did you get?”

“At least thirty pounds of rabbit and squirrel.”  My heart suddenly sinks to the pit of my stomach.  “I had to leave it behind though.  I covered it with snow, and with the temperatures still being so cool, I should be able to retrieve it at nightfall without it spoiling.”

As long as pretty boy doesn’t show up and hold me captive once again with his wildly hypnotic eyes.

I roll my eyes at my foolish thought, and Helena gasps in objection to the words I’ve almost forgotten came out of my mouth.

“Are you crazy?  You can’t go back.  If Malfus catches you this time, he’ll put you in the stockade.”

My left eyebrow arches menacingly as a mischievous smirk engages my mouth.  I can hear the brazen, daring tone in my voice.

“He could try.”

“I’m serious, Arena!”

Again, my eyebrow cocks up as I murmur dryly, “And what makes you think I’m not?”

She crosses her arms in front of her chest in protest, as her eyes scream at me.  I sigh and drop the cool, cocky act, in order to try reassuring her instead.

“I’ll be more careful this time.  I stayed out there too long.  The rabbits were so fat, and I got a little greedy.  If I had stopped sooner, I would’ve gotten away with ease.”

“You can’t go back.  It’s too dangerous.  I can’t let you.”

“You can’t stop me.  We need that food.  What Malfus lets us have is ridiculous.  We need that meat, and I’m going to get it.”

She whispers, “Then I’m going with you.”

“And do what exactly?  You might have deadly aim with a crossbow, but you’re the worst runner I’ve ever seen.  I can’t believe Malfus thought you had outrun his men.”

We both burst out in laughter as I mock her silly way of running, flailing my arms in a sissy manner to add to the comical act.  Then my mother storms in and abruptly the playful tune comes to a halt.

“Arena Clash!  I don’t know what you were thinking, but I won’t tolerate you risking the safety of our clan any longer!”

I huff as I sit down to receive my scolding.  Per the usual, I try to defend myself.

“I didn’t let them catch me.”

Even though I know they would have if Mr. Drive Me Crazy hadn’t been there to pull me from the trench.  His effect on me is really starting to boil my blood.

I almost scowl to myself for the inane emotions I’m being forced to experience.

“Time and time again I have told you not to antagonize them.  Instead, you insist on crossing the lines.  Now we all have to attend the engagement banquet.”

“I’m not going.  I never told him I would either.  You don’t have to go.  Just tell him we’re unable to attend because we’re sick from the starvation we’ve had to suffer through.”

She grips her head as if it aches.  Then she points at me as she speaks with a forceful tone.

“Oh you’re going.  You brought this down on both of us.  If you hadn’t crossed that line, Malfus would not have come here today.  Now, our presence will be expected.  You’ll go, and that’s not a request!”

I flop back down in the chair and cross my arms.  “Fine, but I’m not wearing a dress.”

She laughs, but not in a joking manner.  Her voice still carries a pronounced amount of anger – fury even.

“Oh yes you will, and it will be a very frivolous and girly dress with matching shoes as well.  You’ll also smile and dance while at the banquet.  If you don’t, I swear I will take away your journal privileges for a year.”

I leap up, now completely enraged.  “I’m twenty-two.  I should have every right to choose what functions I do or do not attend.”

She brings her face within inches of mine as she speaks even more threateningly.  “You know it doesn’t work that way.  There are consequences for every action.  Be thankful your sister lessened the consequences by taking the fall for you.  If Malfus had found out you were on his land, he wouldn’t have believed such a tale.  You’ll go, and you’ll graciously pretend to love every minute of it just in case he still has lingering suspicions.  You owe Helena that much.  Do you understand?”

I sit back down and reply in defeat with a very reluctant tone.

“Yeah… I got it.”

She storms out of the hut, grabbing her coat on the way out and swirls it into place just as the door shuts.  I shake my head in disbelief.

Helena sets in immediately trying to sound encouraging – Miss Silver Lining doing what she does best.

“It really isn’t so bad.  I think you’d like it if you’d just give it a shot.  Not to mention, they have so much food at the banquet.  It’s almost like a holiday.”

I roll my eyes at her blind foolery.  My voice is a little harsher than I actually mean for it to be as I reply with a few scoops of sarcasm sprinkled with condescension.

“Oh joy – a party full of boys.  Why would I miss such a wonderful event?”  I snarl.  “I’m sorry if I don’t find it all intriguing to be viewed as a breeding tool.  That’s all they’re looking for.  That’s all they think women are good for.  None of them care about anything but finding the perfect carrier for their unborn children.  They all want that trophy, champion son.”

“They’re not all that way,” she murmurs quietly while staring at the floor.

“You just want it to be that way because you’re so head-over-heels for Harrison.  You’re too naïve to notice he is just as contemptible as the rest of them because you hope he’s different.  You’re just as foolish as all of the other girls here begging to be breeders.”

Tears bubble up in her eyes, and I instantly feel like a big bag of crap when she whimpers, “Wow.  Thanks, Arena.  Anytime you feel like beating around on a punching bag, just call me.  Apparently I’m perfect for that.”

She wipes her tears and flees from the room, leaving me alone with my vicious guilt.

Way to be a royal ass, Arena.

I put on my jacket and attempt to go find her when Johnny most jarringly derails me.  His eyes are wide and his voice is rattled.

“Boy, am I glad Helena stepped in for you.”

Now I feel even guiltier for my harsh words toward my sister.

The guilt-ridden tone rings out clearly as I say, “Yeah.  I should have thanked her, but instead, I said something incredibly stupid and hurtful as usual.  I need to find her and apologize.”

“Apologize later.  Jespin is calling a meeting to prepare for the new arrivals.  That’s why I was coming to get you.”

He jerks my hand so hard I can feel my shoulder attempting to dislocate from its socket.  He drags me to our gathering circle that is packed out with our clan.

We’re the last to arrive.  Jespin glances at me suspiciously as we sit down.  He’s a fool if he thinks he intimidates me.

He addresses everyone with his arrogant tone – nothing new there.

“We will be accommodating some new arrivals it seems, so make sure your rations aren’t too greedy.”

Our rations?  Really?

They’re not rations; they’re barely scraps.  Johnny elbows me when a laugh escapes from my mouth.  Jespin’s pompous, greedy ass takes the biggest of the rations.

He feels as if he’s entitled to such since he’s the chief.  He’s the most pathetic excuse for a chief there’s ever been.  He bosses us around in the fields, and never once has he stood up to Malfus.  He’s a lazy, fat coward in a village full of starving people.  He’s anything but a leader.

I can’t resist.  I’m speaking before I even realize it.

“None of us can spare to lose much weight.  Perhaps you should be the one checking your rations, Chief Jespin.”

My mother’s eyes widen as she turns to look at me - horror and astonishment etched in her hazel eyes.

Jespin growls and then angrily threatens, “Watch yourself, Arena.  I think we all know who the true trespasser was today.  Don’t tempt me to tell Malfus the truth.”

I scowl as I boldly dare, “Go ahead, Jespin.  Malfus will wonder why I had no reservations about doing such.  He may wonder why your people are so rebellious, and he might question your leadership skills – especially if he learns it was me – a mere woman blatantly disobeying.  Personally I welcome the truth to come out.”

I cross my arms lazily, completely unaffected by his glare.

His lips tighten in distaste for my taunting remark.  He stammers in an attempt to recover.

“I… uh… I … I think it would be wise for all of us to keep this little incident quiet.  As for the rations, we will discuss that another time.  Only those over the age of thirty will be able to attend.”

Yeah, just try to keep me out.  I dare you.

I roll my eyes for his cowardliness.  He’s too scared to provoke me further.  He knows I’m not the least bit afraid of him.  He also knows how accurate I am with any weapon in my hand.

He wouldn’t dare risk pushing me to that point.  He knows damn well I’m too hungry to think rationally.

A devilish smirk appears as I menacingly pat my leg where everyone knows I always have a knife concealed.  I smile when I see my attempt to rattle him has been successful as more fear spreads across his face.

He stammers, “Meeting… adjourned.”

My mother joins me at my side the moment I stand, and she pulls me away by my elbow - as if I’m a child rather than a woman.

The walk to the hut is a deadly silent one, her grip never loosening.  As soon as we have the privacy of our hut, my mother releases me and throws her wool coat against the wall to emphasize her anger.

“Arena, I swear I don’t know what to do with you!  When will you learn to just keep your mouth shut?”

Johnny makes a not-so-discreet move to the far corner to stay out of the line of fire.  I scowl at him and he looks anywhere but at me.

I finally turn back to face my fuming mother.

“Sorry.  I couldn’t help it.  His fat, greedy ass has more to spare than we do.  If he was kicked out of our clan, we might be able to sustain ourselves a little better.  He breaks a sweat just standing still during the winter.  What does that tell you?”

A laugh sneaks through her lips, but she quickly recovers as she speaks to me with all seriousness.

“Listen, honey, I know you’re not crazy with the way Jespin is running things, but he’s all we have right now.  Just try not to antagonize him.  We don’t need to keep making enemies.  No one will ever be the leader your father was, and we have to accept the fact he’s gone.  Just try to refrain from making waves, please.”

I cross my arms as I pout and huff out, “If I play nice with Jespin, will you get me out of the banquet?”

She slaps her head in frustration.  “I thought we already covered this.”

“It was worth a shot.”  I shrug innocently.

“There’s nothing wrong with meeting some of the young lads.  There are some striking young men with a much better attitude than you give them credit for.  There aren’t really any available men here close to your age, and I think that has confused you a bit.  You never know what you might find if you open your eyes.”

I remain silent this time.  I’ll just let her win this argument.  I’m worried she’ll have a brain aneurism if I continue to push her.

She puts her jacket on again and pulls the door open.  She stops and turns to speak in a much calmer tone.

“I’ll be back in a while.  I have to go gather some wood for the fireplace.”

“I can do that for you, Mrs. Clash,” Johnny quickly chimes in with a little too much eagerness.

“That won’t be necessary, Johnny.  Thank you for the offer though.”

The door slowly slides back into place as she leaves the two of us alone in the hut.

Johnny crosses his arms in a pouting sort of manner.  I laugh lightly as I question it.

“What’s wrong with you?  Did you want to get the wood that badly?”

“No.  I just don’t really like the fact your mom doesn’t regard me as a man.  I was trying to remind her I was.”

“What are you talking about?”

My laughter is a little more exaggerated now as I stare at his puffed expression.

He rolls his eyes.

“She said there weren’t really any available men around here close to your age – I’m exactly your age.  I was standing less than five feet away.  That sort of thing hurts a guy, you know?”

I quickly cover my mouth to hide the grin I can’t suppress.  Since when is Johnny so sensitive?

It takes all my strength to restrain a snicker as I try to appeal encouraging to his wounded ego.

“She didn’t mean it like that.  She knows you are like a brother to me.”

I’m surprised by the grimace that spreads on his face.  I’m even more surprised by his pitiful tone.

“So you think of me as a brother?”

“Well, yeah.  Don’t you think of me as a sister?”  I shrug innocently.

His eyes start darting from side to side nervously.

“Yeah… definitely.”  His shoulders drop, and he exhales a trapped breath.  “I need to get back.  My mom needs some help picking up the remaining pecans.  It’s my turn to clean up the greenhouses as well.  I’ll see you later.”

I wave awkwardly as he walks out without another word.

I feel an eyebrow rise as I mumble aloud, “That was odd.”  I rush over to the corner and throw my boots back on.  “Time to go collect what is mine.”

I quietly creep toward the lines and disappear into the shadows of the forest.

CHAPTER 2     

TEMPTATION ON A PLATE

I move through the woods with absolute stealth.  The night’s cloak hides my rebellious intentions.  I can’t alert anyone to my presence this time.

God knows my mother would wring my neck if Malfus doesn’t do worse.

I finally make my way back to the bush where I hid my trophies.

“There you are,” I whisper to myself as I stare at the luscious mound of snow.

Panic invades me with arrogant ferocity as someone grabs me around the mouth and waist.  I bear my teeth and clamp down on the hand trying to silence me.

The hand rips free from the clutches of my teeth and a man’s voice pronounces his pain.

“Ouch!  Son of a-”

I quickly whirl around while pulling my knife out to face the night predator.  With lightening quick speed, I force the blade against the throat of my attacker who barely flinches.

My eyes widen when I recognize the face.  It’s him – the guy whose face has been forever etched in my brain and brings on so many unwanted feelings.

He puts his wounded hand to his mouth and then shakes it in what seems to be an effort to relieve his pain.

My voice is shaky, and my body is burning suddenly - as though I have a fever.

“Don’t make me hurt you.  I just came to claim what is rightfully mine.”

He doesn’t even acknowledge my threat.  In fact, he seems completely indifferent to my blade very firmly pressed against his throat as he obsesses over his bitten hand.

“Was it really necessary to bite me?”

Why in the hell do I suddenly feel bad for biting him?

I shake the lingering doubts and push the blade a little harder as I speak with much more force.

“I’ll spare your life since you helped me out earlier, if you let me walk away with my kills.”

He laughs in disbelief as he pushes the knife away from his throat slightly.  There is humor in his voice despite the circumstances.

“You’ll spare my life?  I’ve had two opportunities to take your life if I wanted to, and I could have very easily called you out on your previous trespassing excursion when your sister took the blame.  So don’t think you’re doing me any favors there, girly.”

He’s right.  No one has ever been able to get so close to me before.  He had ample opportunity in the woods earlier to hurt me, and he could have snapped my neck just then.

I warily lower my blade and narrow my eyes as my inquisitive intrigue takes over.

“Why didn’t you kill me?  Why didn’t you tell Malfus it was me?”

He stares at the deep bite marks imprinted in his hand as he answers with slight agitation.

“Because we’re not as vicious as you accuse us of being.  No one here is trying to kill anyone.  You’re being incredibly dramatic in your opinion of us.”

He turns his back on me and heads to the bushes where my meat is stashed.

He mumbles aloud while shaking his head and bending over at the bush.

“Spare my life.  Unbelievable.”

I can hear myself sounding more like a pleading child rather than a threatening force this time.

“Please let me take that back to my camp.  We’re starving.  We aren’t getting enough food to live on, and that meat could feed us for weeks if cured properly.  Please don’t take it.”

I slightly choke up at the end, forcing me to stop talking.  I can’t help it.  The point is, we do need that meat.

He pulls the fat rabbits and squirrels from the snow and tosses them to me.  Looking at the string, I notice there are also some new additions as well.

He rolls his eyes and speaks in a very smoothly confident and reassuring tone, which is also still laced with some irritation – though it’s warranted.

“Relax.  I don’t want your kills.  I’ve been stuck out here for over an hour making sure no one else found them.  I couldn’t take them back to camp - obviously - and I couldn’t show up at your door with them either.

“I told Malfus I would be hunting out here so no one would catch you.  We don’t cross the paths of each other while hunting; it’s far too dangerous.  You should be completely safe to take these back to your camp.”

He pauses to point at the newly acquired meat before continuing.  “One of the dogs found it before I did, and he took a squirrel before I could get to him.  I decided to replace it with two of my quails.  There’s more meat on them anyways.”

He resumes his hand rubbing and examination as soon as he finishes.  I’m completely baffled.

My voice finds its way to my throat again, but not without an odd sound.

“Thank you.  I wasn’t expecting that.”

He looks up long enough to catch and captivate my eyes and smiles from one corner of his mouth.

“Finally… some gratitude.”  He laughs under his breath as his eyes move back to his hand.  Very quietly, he adds, “And you’re welcome.”

Now I’m stumped.  Gravity has become my enemy as it forces me to stay with him rather than run while I have the chance.  I feel it almost necessary to assess the damage I’ve caused.

I finally cede to my demanding conscious and walk over to look at his hand, hoping my guilt will subside.  As soon as I reach him, he almost leaps backwards to abstain from my touch.

“Give me your hand.  I won’t hurt you,” I grumble.

I really have no true grounds for the agitation in my voice.

He scoffs and lets out a snort of derision.

“You can’t say you won’t bite because that obviously isn’t true.  I protect your food and keep you from being caught, and then you bite me and draw a blade.  Forgive me if I’m reluctant to let you do any further damage to me today, girly.”

My eyes narrow, but then I realize he’s right.  I change my tone to be much more sympathetic and less aggressive as I continue.

“I’m sorry.  I’m just not used to the Shaylan being givers.  Please let me see your hand.  I can help you.”

His hesitation is obvious, but he finally concedes.

His piercing blue eyes are so soft and warm.  His tall stature makes me eyelevel with his chest, forcing me to stare at his perfect physique.  And oh… my… damn, does he smell good.

Crap!

I’m so fucked right now and completely alarmed by how out of my element I feel.

Holy crap!

I’ve already forgotten what I’m supposed to be doing.  I haven’t ever been so caught off guard by someone.

Oh yeah… hand… bite… fix…

My mind finally pieces the puzzle back together, and I quickly and begin examining the damage I’ve caused.  I reach in my side pouch and pull out my medicine pack.  But just as I start to apply the ointment, he withdraws his hand timidly to question my intentions.

“What’s that?”  His eyes point to the medicine in my hands.

With soft reassurance, I murmur, “It’s aloe blended with some other potent healing herbs.  I use it all the time.  It works wonders in just minutes.”

His eyes are teeming with skepticism, but he moves his hand back into mine.  The touch of his hand almost sends me into oblivion.  Once again, I’ve forgotten what the task at hand was.

Shit!

Oh yeah… hand… bite… fix…

This is becoming a very vicious cycle – one I wouldn’t be disappointed to never repeat.

I smear on the homemade remedy very quickly before I have the chance to forget what I’m doing again.  Everything about him is so… distracting.

He instantly sighs out his relief and his gorgeous smile lights up with gratitude.

Oh, please put that weapon away.

I once thought I was immune to men’s charm.  Apparently, I’ve been very mistaken.

“That’s amazing.  How did you make it?”

Damn it.  Now I’m smiling too.

“My dad showed me how.”

The thought of my dad replaces my smile with an anguished look of despair.

He notices and quickly changes the subject back to himself to lighten the intense, heavy air that has been cast.

“My name is Kaceton Brice, by the way, but my friends call me Kace.  Thanks for asking.”

I almost laugh at his comedic remark.  The wind blows around us, pulling the corner of his shirt up to reveal the lower right half of his extremely defined stomach, and my mind almost draws a blank as to what my name is.

As if it’s not bad enough that my whole body has gone bat-shit crazy because of this guy, now even the damn wind is conspiring against me.

Finally, I attempt to respond.  “Sorry.  I’m-”

“You’re Arena Clash.  That’s not exactly a mystery,” he releases in interruption with a bit of a scoffing laugh.

I’m grateful he did because I’m still drawing a blank on something as simple as my stupid name.

“What do you mean by that?” I ask while trying to refrain from glancing back down at his glorious abs being revealed more by the wind’s menacing touch.

His laughter continues.  It amuses me and confuses me at the same time.  He speaks with the chuckle still playing in his voice.

“The rebellious second daughter of Chief Clash needs no introduction.  You have the most coveted genes in the whole clan, but you’re completely opposed to the notion of being a bride.  You never speak to the Shaylan men, and you’re never in attendance at the banquets either.”  His whole comment sounds like a rehearsed speech that has been recited to him as if in mantra numerous times, but then his eyes flicker with a touch of excitement as he continues, “Well, at least not until this year that is.”

Finally, my brain is willing to function as anger replaces my stupid girly trance.

“Not by choice.  Personally, I don’t like being viewed as a breeding instrument or a gene carrier.  I prefer to think for myself and answer for myself as well.  I find the entire notion of courtship to be completely degrading and insulting.  The man woos the woman into a courtship only he can nullify.  Forgive me for not wanting to place my life’s happiness in the hands of a complete stranger after a couple nights of wooing.”

His laughter returns with a fierce roar and condescension rattles out when he says, “There you go assuming we’re all that way.  You really need to get out more.  I think the banquet will do you some good.  You’re far too judgmental.”

I scowl at him slightly before adding, “If you don’t think like Malfus, then why do you follow him so loyally?”

His laughter finally ceases, and he tilts his head as his eyes study me more carefully.

“You really have a low opinion of him, don’t you?”

“Well, I think he’s arrogant, self-absorbed, loathsome… and that’s if I’m feeling charitable,” I say with a smirk.

“Wow.  You really don’t hold back,” he chuckles out.

“Why do you not hate him?”

He shrugs.  “Well one reason is because he recruits some of the strongest men for the challenges and tribal competitions.  He isn’t as bad as some of the other leaders.  If you had ever been to a challenge match or a competition, you would understand that.  He doesn’t even let anyone call him chief.  He just tells everyone to call him Malfus to humanize himself.  Most tribal chiefs would hang you for referring to them as anything but chief.  Malfus isn’t quite the hard-ass you all think he is.  He just has the bluff on you.”

Kace seems too mild natured, given the fact he’s a warrior.  He’s definitely not scrawny, but he isn’t big and bulky like most of the warriors.

Intrigue sinks its claws into me now.

“How many challenges do you have left?”

All warriors are required to complete ten challenges – fights to settle disputes with other tribes or within the walls of our own – before they can enter into a sanctioned courtship.

I have no idea why I give a damn about how many he has left.

“I finished my last match last year.  I can finally breathe a little easier.  Now I have a whole new bed of problems.”

Yet again, curiosity controls my mouth.  “What kind of problems do you have now?”

He laughs uncomfortably.  “Now everyone wants me to enter a courtship and start producing young warriors.”

“Oh… Yeah, I know the feeling,” I mumble awkwardly, wishing I hadn’t asked such a personal question.

Now I’m as uncomfortable as he is.

He purses his lips before speaking with more seriousness.  “I was kind of hoping I could ask for your help with that, and you kind of owe me.”

I almost stumble backwards as my eyes widen.  I almost feel excited, but fear wins out and my forced anger carries out the scolding he truly deserves.

“How dare you!  I told you I’m not some breeder fool.  If you think you can just-”

He interrupts me quickly with yet another laughing tone.  “Whoa, whoa, whoa.  Hold on a minute.  You need to deflate your ego a bit.  I wasn’t insinuating anything of the sort.  I was simply saying we could help each other out in a completely nonphysical, noncommittal sort of way.  No offense, but you’re not as great as you apparently think you are.”

My cheeks suddenly sting as all the blood rises to them and brings them to a crimson glow.  Suddenly I take note of my dirty clothes still tainted by my earlier race through the woods.  My oily hair is pinned to the top of my head with only a few, unplanned strands escaping, proving I haven’t touched it in days.

Until this moment, I’ve never given a damn about how I look.  Now I’m wishing I had bathed before traipsing through the woods.  I only pray I don’t smell bad.

I stammer around in an effort to recover.

“I don’t think I’m… You said that… What are you talking about exactly?”

He shakes his head, indulging in my embarrassment.

“You want to hunt, but you can’t cross our lines.  I need to get everyone off my back about finding a girl because I am not ready to become someone’s stud.  The obvious answer is for us to pretend we are together in order for both of us to get what we want.  The agreement can be nullified at any given moment by either party.”

I’m stumped, bewildered, dumbfounded… there are really not enough ways to explain how truly flabbergasted I am by his proposal.

I look around to make sure no one else had spotted us before continuing with a more whispered tone.

“You’re suggesting we pretend to fall for each other so I can hunt and you can keep your stag title?”

“Yes.  It seems like a very reasonable agreement for both of us.  And unlike you, I don’t bite.”

His eyes glimmer with daring glow, and his mouth is etched into the most perfectly seductive half-smile I’ve ever seen.

My cheeks feel the fever returning once more.  I try to sound logical despite the fact I’ve never faced such a tempting offer.

Say hell no!

“It seems somewhat risky.”

Good grief, girl.

“And crossing the lines to hunt without an escort isn’t risky at all,” he releases, his mocking sarcasm bearing no mask.  “Your sister won’t be able to bail you out next time.  You need to seriously consider what I’m offering.  I could meet you, and you could hunt discreetly.  As long as you kept it quiet, no one would have to know.”  He pauses, this time he’s the one lowering his voice to a whisper, and worry attacks me.  “Just think it over, and give me your answer at the banquet tomorrow.  If you decide you wish to enter into our agreement, all you have to do is let me know you want me to approach you.  We can set the stage from there.”

I glance down at the meat that seems so much heavier before responding dryly, “Okay.  I’ll think about it.”  Once again, my curiosity wanders out on its own.  “How far would we have to carry this charade?”

His smile returns to his perfect face when he tastes my wavering stance, victory edging toward him.

“I don’t know.  We’d just have to play it by ear.  For now, I need to get back.  We’re actually not supposed to be in the woods after sunset.  Not to mention, they’re going to be expecting more than the twenty quails I have, given the lump of time I’ve spent out here.”
“Okay.”

The uneasiness is hopefully the only thing he hears – not the twang of disappointment that he’s about to walk away.

I start to leave – trying to think of anything to say to draw out our time together – and finally decide to thank him in a more sincere manner, but it’s as if he’s vanished.

I never even heard the crack of a leaf, the rustle of limbs, or the sloshing of mud on the thawing, damp ground.

I shouldn’t be impressed with his silent retreat, I should be livid with his offensive proposal.  So why am I fighting every alien emotion invading my body that wants me to succumb to anything he asks?

I sneak back to the camp with the wind in my hair.

Damn wind.  Why were you so cruel?

Through the window, I can see Mom shucking the last three corncobs we have left.  A twinkle of pride glistens in my eyes as I walk in and drop the bounty of meat on the table.

Instantly her eyes widen in shock, and panic rings out.

“Arena!”  She lowers her voice quickly and rushes to close the shutters.  Her voice is almost muted her whisper is so low.  “What have you done?”

I can’t stop the proud smile.  “I just increased our rations.”

She shakes her head as she examines the meat.  Finally, her eyes find their way back to mine.

“Go fetch the salt so we can get this cured.  I’ll cook up some of the quail right now.”

She’s trying so hard to be mad at me, but she’s too hungry to scold me for finding food.

It’s about damn time she saw things my way.

She’s still concerned about the consequences, but that isn’t going to stop us from feasting tonight.  It’s the first time in weeks we’ve enough to fill our stomachs – almost overfilling them actually.

We cook with smiles, and eat in silence as we gorge ourselves.

Helena avoids my attempt at eye contact every time.  I know she’s still wounded by my ruthless criticism.

Everything in me is begging to take Kace up on his offer, but not just for the reasons he proposed.  I’m almost exhausted from fighting the foolish girly emotions I never thought could be exercised from their dormant sleep.

I’m in so much trouble.

Then it hits me – the death-stalking, heart-sinking, jaw-clenching stench of a fade.  The air is suddenly hot, too hot for March.

My heart finds itself breaking as it always does.  The silence in the room bears new meaning as our eyes connect and withdraw to stare at the table beneath us.

With a pained breath, I stand and walk over and pull out my journal to perform the ritual my father taught me.  I dedicate a complete page to logging the event, and then I write the recited the quote I know all too well.

I was born into a world forced to stray from its designed course.  I fight a war I cannot truly fight.  I desire the chance to live a life that will never be.  I will dare to remember what has escaped my mind, though those lost feel forgotten.  I will continue to hope, for it is all that gives me a reason to breathe.

CHAPTER 3

BANQUET OF FOOLS

“Hold still, Arena!”

“Holy crap!  You’re killing me here.  That’s attached to my head you know!”

“Well if you would brush your hair every once and a while, this wouldn’t be this big of an issue.  You don’t have to make it a sloppy pile pinned to your head everyday.”

She grits her teeth and very nearly rips my head off my shoulders once again.

“You’re crazy!  No one should go through this torture everyday to impress anyone,” I screech while trying to escape her vicious grasp.

“Arena, it wouldn’t be quite so absurdly painful if you did this routinely rather than… Well, when is the last time you did this?”

I shrug.  I really can’t remember.  I always pile it on my head and shove every pin in it I need to hold it tight.  She rolls her eyes, knowing my silence indicates I have no idea.

“Arena, the banquet starts in less than two hours, and we have to make you look presentable.  This is going to take at least two hours in itself.  The sun is less than an hour away from showing itself.”

I let out a scream as she jerks my hair once more.

“Here, Mom, let me take over.  You need to finish getting ready,” Helena says in a soft, still wounded tone.

My mother wipes the sweat from her brow, and her breathless, raspy voice makes her sound as though she’s run across the country.

“Thank you, Helena.  I think a break is well deserved.”

She scowls at me, and I very childishly make a face once her back is turned.

Helena points to the bathtub and I cringe as I step into the icy water.  She pulls a pot of water from the stove and pours the piping hot contents into the cold, making it more tolerable.

I smile earnestly as I try to make light of the tension radiating around us.

“Thank you, Helena.”

She deliberately doesn’t make eye contact.

She just mumbles under her breath, “That’s all I seem to be good for.  It appears I will be excellent breeding material.”

The guilt is almost tangible it pours out of me so clearly.

“Helena, you know what a fool I am with words.  I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have said all of those things.  I was just mad, and I took it out on you.  I don’t view you like I do all of the other banquet fools.  I swear I don’t think of you as an eager breeder.  You didn’t deserve the harsh words I spoke.”

She purses her lips and finally responds with a burdened mind.
“Indeed I did not.”  She pauses as she massages the soap into my hair.  She sighs loudly before continuing.  “Your hair is horrid, but this should release the tangles - painlessly.”

I feel a surge of very welcome relief.
“Thank you.”  Then I narrow my eyes at her as suspicion gathers in my brow.  “If this is painless, then why did you let Mom torture me for over twenty minutes?”

A rare and uncharacteristic menacing smirk turns up on her lips.  “Perhaps I felt like my interference would be have been an intrusion on mother-and-daughter quality time.”

I scowl at her.  “Or maybe you felt like I deserved the punishment?”

“Perhaps I did.”  Her menacing smirk deepens and a hint of satisfaction shines from her deep blue eyes.

Touché, Helena.  This round goes to you.

I don’t know whether to be proud or pissed.  She continues massaging my scalp, and I decide to try again to lighten the mood.

“I guess I missed all of the girly stuff.  I don’t know why it seemed to skip over me.”

She keeps a straight face, not even a twitch affects her lips. Apparently, not all is forgiven.

Then she reaches behind her, pulls out a large, straight, sharp blade, and hands it to me.

“Use this.”

“Where?”
Her menacing smirk returns.  Oh, I’m not going to like this.

“Everywhere there’s unnecessary hair.”

“You have got to be kidding me,” I scoff in a higher octave.

“I’m afraid I’m not, sister dear.  This is all part of the deal.  You’re pretty good with a blade, so this shouldn’t be too tough to figure out.”

Drat.

She’s enjoying seeing me squirm, knowing all the places that blade is going to have to touch my body.  I stare at it with disgust, and find myself appalled with her request.

“Why is this necessary?”

“Because no man likes seeing a woman with hair all over her body.”

“If they dislike hair that much, then why don’t they shave their own bodies?  Most of them look like they have fallen into a tar pit before wrestling with a grizzly for hours on end.”

A laugh escapes her lips, and her soft, golden curls bounce as her head bobs from it.  She quickly regains her composure as she speaks with more humor in her tone.

“Arena, what man have you seen without a shirt on?”

“A lot.  Most of the men take their shirts off in the fields, and when we lived in the Shaylan camp, they always walked around shirtless.  It’s not something one can forget.”

I shiver at the unwelcome image that was burned into my brain as it suddenly reemerges -  hairy, disgusting bodies painted in sweat and glistening under the grueling sun.

Her laugh finds its escape again.

“I swear.  Dad’s friends from years ago and the old men in the fields, that’s your reference point?  That’s not the way things are for our generation.  Most of the men are very well groomed.  I would hope Johnny isn’t brave enough to romp around without a shirt, bless his heart.  That boy has never seen a muscle in his life.  Other than that, you haven’t seen a man of our age running around without his shirt on… currently.”

“Well, currently I’m not too eager to rid myself of ninety percent of my hair so they can be attracted to me.  Why is this so important to you?”

“Because you’re my sister.  I wouldn’t be doing my job if I let you run around looking like you fell in a tar pit and wrestled with a grizzly.”  She squints like she always does when plotting against me.  “I’ll make you a deal.  If you do this without further objection, I will forgive you for the unprovoked, unnecessary, and unsavory comments you made to me yesterday.”

“So our sisterly bond hinges on my willingness to remove my unnecessary hair?  Really?”

She tips her head from side to side as if she’s weighing my comment.

“Yeah… pretty much.”

Wow, she’s good.

“And if I don’t?”

She narrows her eyes.  “Then you will be forced to endure the guilt you feel for hurting my feelings because my silent treatment will return.  We both know how much you hate me ignoring you.”

There’s that menacing smirk showing its dance of triumph.  She’s got me right where she wants me now, doing what she does best – manipulating the hell out of me.

Well, crap.  Bye-bye hair.

I begin making the sweeps with the blade, starting with my right leg.  A more defined triumphant grin now spreads over her face as she walks over to get more hot water from the stove and adds it to my bath.

My mother walks back out of her room talking wildly, almost excitedly, about the banquet.  Truth be told, I think she’s thrilled to have me going – though she’d never confess such a betrayal to me.

I find it hard to be irritated with her when she’s this excited about something.

“It’s a decadent all day event, Arena.  The men will try to impress the ladies with their skills, and then we’ll have lunch.  After lunch, there are more displays of their manhood, which involves target practice mostly.  Then we move on to the banquet hall, which is exquisite and formal, followed by wondrous melodies and dancing.  That is when someone usually talks about courtship.  Please be on your best behavior.”

I can’t deny her a gracious response because the moments of excitement are so rare for her these days.

“Okay.  I’ll be a good girl.”

She smiles very broadly, showing her satisfaction for my forced eloquence.  Helena goes to the fireplace to insert the hot curler.

Damn.  She’s going to use that on me too.

I finally finish my … de-furring fiasco with the obnoxious blade and climb out of the tub.

I’m wrapping myself up in a towel when there’s a loud knock at the door.  Before I can protest entry, the door swings open, and there stands Johnny, speaking with boyish delight as he stares at an old journal

“Arena!  I’ve found a new one.  There are so many wild things in here.  Do you know they used to have something called a supermarket with rows and rows of packaged food?  You just handed them currency and walked out with whatever you wanted.  Could you imagine handing someone some paper or little circles of metal and walking out with a feast without doing any of the work?”

I’m frozen, mortified, and desperately clinging to the small piece of fabric hiding my indecency.  He finally looks up to catch sight of me standing in front of him in my towel-wrapped state with my dripping wet hair.

His smile slowly fades, and an usual expression takes its place.  He brushes his sandy blond hair from his eyes to fully understand what is going on.

With humiliation and anger burning in my voice, I scream, “Johnny Cabot!  What are you doing barging in like this?”

Finally his look changes again, and he bursts out laughing.

“I didn’t know you had so much hair.  How have you kept it pinned up so tightly?”

I scowl fiercely and clutch the cloth tighter.  I start pushing him very violently out the door with my free hand.

“Don’t you dare come back until I’m decent!”

He continues laughing as he exits.

I roll my eyes as I mumble loudly, “I’m really going to regret this.”

My rear has actually gone numb from the hour-long placement on the wooden chair.  I hear my frustration as Helena sticks the curler back into the fire to heat it up again while she parts off a new section.

“How much longer is this going to take?” I exasperate.

“Just about finished.  It truly does look amazing too - as does your makeup.”

Oh the makeup.

My face has also been subjected to defamation.  I don’t even feel like me.

I almost growl when I say, “Well it should look stunning, considering the torture I’ve been forced to endure.”

She laughs at my petulance as though she’s amused by me.

“It’s not so easy to be a banquet fool, is it?”

Her mocking tune isn’t lost on my ears.

I roll my eyes at her sardonic smirk, and then I cross my arms in front of my chest before slouching down to give a new section of my behind a chance to suffer.

I can feel her poking pins in my hair to hold pieces back.  My mother walks in and gasps as though she has just seen something amazingly unbelievable.

Oh good grief.  It’s just hair and makeup.

Tears fill her eyes as she speaks with an extreme amount of satisfied surprise.

“Well I never thought I would see the day when Arena looked like a woman instead of a tomboy.”

Shaking my head, I cover my face with my hand with mock embarrassment – though immense anger is my true emotion.  I hate all of this… primping.

Then Helena mumbles the words I have been so impatiently awaiting.  “There.  All done.”

I almost leap from the unforgiving, rigid chair.  “Finally!”

They both laugh at my joyous outburst.  My mother smiles enthusiastically in awe as she speaks.  “I have just the dress for the occasion.”

I grimace discreetly – still trying to let her have her rare moment of excitement – at the thought of wearing a dress.

My sister is wearing a bright blue ruffled dress, delicate pearls draped around her neck, and a smile that could stop hearts.  She looks so frigging elegant.  I know what a fool’s mask I would bear if I ever tried to wear such a thing.

I sigh loudly as my mother sashays back in – her feet mimicking the motions of a dance as she holds onto a secret.

“This dress was given to me by your father years ago.  I have made some alterations so it should fit you wonderfully.  He bartered for it while on his travels when you were still a mere infant.  I’ve been hoping a day such as this would come.”

Hmm.

Sounds like she’s been plotting this for a while if she’s already altered it.

I let my eyes fall on the smooth white satin that seems to flow with simple ease.  The sleeves are long, but there are gaping slits in them from shoulder to wrist.

It has an upward dip that brings the front hem to be just above my knees, and the back is cut low - very low, almost too low.

The burden of the warm air will at least keep me from suffering a chill.  My eyes shut for a moment as I try to forget about the fade that has imposed the warm air upon us.

I try not to show my taxing thoughts as I slip into the almost sheer fabric.

Ah, crap.

This really doesn’t hide very much.  Damn.  This is going to suck in a monumental way.

Really, Dad?  This is the kind of dress you bought Mom?

I take a deep breath, my nerves trying to steel themselves.

Smile, Arena.  She’s still watching.

Mom is staring with such passionate adoration as the tears finally drop from her already wavering lids.  She clamps my arms with her hands and then pulls me into her embrace.

I let an authentic smile escape.  She’s so happy.  I can do this.  Man up, Arena.  Here goes nothing.

We finally embark on our twenty-minute hike to the Shaylan camp.  The pearl colored, flat-heeled, dressy shoes I have been forced to wear are making sure I feel every acorn, twig, and rock all along the way.

I gasp in relief as we reach the soft grass of the camp and my feet have a reprieve from their torture.

There are all kinds of crazy things set up for the men to exhibit their skills.  I try not to roll my eyes as the shirtless men make their way outside.

We’re on-the-nose punctual, but some of the other women seem to have been here for quite a while already.

Damn eager breeders.

I swear they carry no dignity, all of them proudly displaying their desperation.

Helena slowly makes her way up the hillside, holding the end of her dress to prevent stepping on it.

Harrison wastes no time.  Running toward her with a smile, he doesn’t even glance at anyone else.  She blushes and cuts her eyes down at the ground.

He has finally finished his required challenges.  No doubt his intentions are to enter into a courtship with her tonight… and she knows it.

I try not to gag at their awkward shifting and embarrassed stares.  I find myself feeling the uneasy task of worry now that he is free to ask her for courtship.

I’ll kill him if he hurts her.

Malfus approaches us with surprise in his eyes.

“Well I never would have guessed how well Arena could clean up,” he chirps.

My mother speaks with pride oozing out.  “She certainly is beautiful.”

Malfus returns words, which boil my blood he addresses my mother.  “She gets that from you, Meredith.”

It’s all I can do not to lunge at him now.  Sick bastard.

How can he possibly be so cavalier… so obtuse?

She refused to let me wear my knives under my dress.  She said it would be very improper, given the circumstances.  I’m really regretting letting her talk me out of them now though.

“Thank you Malfus.  Your kind words are always appreciated.”

Her response to his is spoken with pure sincerity, and I find myself all the more enraged.  I can’t believe her.

I have to get away from this abomination before I do something violent.  My fists are clenched at my side as I make my way on top of the hill.

Everyone stops – stunned and bewildered – as I approach.  Every guy in the camp is now suddenly gawking at me, and every girl is gasping in disbelief.

Whispers explode from all around me.  My stomach tightens from the anxiety caused from the unwanted attention.  I almost sigh in relief when everyone finally collects themselves and resumes their activities.

Well this isn’t uncomfortable at all.

You’d think I was a mythical creature resurrected from the dead.  I start to worry about looking even more like a fool than what I had credited myself.

A familiar voice finds its way to my ears, making me feel a little less out of place.

“Well I’ll be damned.  Arena Clash in a dress?  I must have drunk too much too soon.”

I roll my eyes as I turn to face Julius – my sister’s old flame.  His longer hair reaches his chin, and his strong jaw is ajar – obviously in disbelief.

“Hey, Julius.”

“I didn’t believe them when they said you were coming.  I bet my favorite whip on it.”

I shrug.  “Gambling isn’t for everyone, you know?”

He chuckles.  “Well, I have to say, I sure as hell wasn’t expecting you to look like that in a dress.”

“Seriously?” I gripe.

Stupid men.

Laughter roars from his strong body.  “Seriously.”

I almost feel like pouting.  Do I really look that bad normally?

Oh hell, why do I give a damn?  It’s because of him… Kace.  None of this would matter at all if he hadn’t come out of nowhere and derailed my whole body.

That jackass.

I’m distracted by a large amount of peacocks roaming freely across the yard.  What the hell?

“Why do you guys have peacocks running amuck?”

“I don’t know.  They just hang out and do their own thing.  Why?”

Stupid Peacocks.

They wouldn’t be brave enough to roam free in my camp.  They would be plucked, stuffed, and served for dinner.  Oh how I hate peacocks right now.

“No reason.  I just find it odd,” I lie with angry undertones.

“Are you okay, baby Clash?  You look very… thin.”

Of course I look thin!  I’ve been fucking starving to death for months, you asshole.

His eyes show concern.  He hasn’t lived among the Tympest since he was fifteen, and it’s possible he’s unaware of our living arrangements.

I don’t have the strength to blast him right now either.

“Long story… another time.”

Julius pats my shoulder.  “I’ve got to run, kid, but I’ll see you later.”

I just nod, and then I see a broad shouldered, tall, and very hairy guy walking toward me with a cocky grin plastered to his smug face.

So much for Helena’s theory about our generation being better groomed.

“So you’re Arena Clash.  I was starting to think we would never have the chance to properly meet.  And let me just say, wow!  I didn’t know there was such a magnificent creature living so close to me.  Had I known, I might have traveled to the Tympest camp quite regularly.”

He speaks to me as if I’m supposed to swoon.  He has far too much confidence, considering he looks like an ape.

I muster the strength to fight the urge to say something cruel and demeaning in an attempt to put him in his place.  The temptation to blast him is almost painful to deny.

Play nice, Arena.  You promised.

I swallow very, very hard and speak in a ladylike demeanor, just as I was instructed to do.

“Thank you.  I’m sorry, but I don’t know your name.”

Oh, Mom.  You had better be proud of me.

He leans in closer, his shirtless body exposing his bulging muscles, as he exudes his unwavering and undeserved confidence.

“I’m Garren Horton.  I was with Malfus yesterday.  I thought you were cute then, but now… I’m blown away.  You’re one fine piece of work.”

Yeah, you’re a piece of work too, but I wouldn’t describe you as fine in any sense of the word.

I don’t feel anything but disgust for him as he finishes his condescending and degrading comment I think he considered a compliment.  I narrow my eyes and swallow hard once more, forcing the eloquence my mother commanded.

“Thanks.  I was just going to go get something to drink.”

I pass him, but he runs to rejoin me at my side.

“I’ll get it for you.  That’s kind of what we’re supposed to do at these functions.  The man woos the woman.”

He winks cunningly at me.

Smug ass.

I almost bite my tongue in half trying to hold back the overwhelming urge to say something incredibly sarcastic.

Oh yes, I would fall all over you if you fetch me a drink.  Getting a drink for me this one time would most certainly make me want to fetch everything for you the rest of my life.

I once again muster up the strength and refrain.  I simply decline his offer in the most respectful way I can.

“Thanks, but I just want a minute to myself.  This is all a little overwhelming.”

Overwhelming my ass.  But at least it’s a polite way of saying disgusting, appalling, and ridiculous even.

He smiles at me with his cocky smirk still plastered on his face.

“I guess so.  I’m sure you’re really excited to come meet all of the prospects.  There’re plenty here interested in you.  Don’t worry though, it’s not too intimidating after a while.”

He strokes my cheek and jogs off before I can kick him in the groin the way I want to.

My fists have been clenched together so tightly my knuckles have turned white.  Now another guy is making his way toward me, his stride just as confident as the last goon’s.

I mumble aloud, “Really?  I can’t have two seconds before the next one comes to inspect the new cattle?”

He smiles as he runs his fingers through his longer hair that stretches just past his neck.  I feel no enticement to engage in the same meaningless conversation I just had with Mr. Confident Ape.

He’s as shirtless as the rest of the barbarians, and his pants are drooping just past his hipbones.  I massage my head that is aching from the testosterone overload encompassing the camp.

He’s expecting me to drool like all the other breeders.  He has no idea what foul things are running through my mind.

Behave, Arena.

“So, how are you enjoying your first banquet?”

Through firmly tightened lips, I respond dully, “It’s fine.”

He laughs, somewhat amused it seems.  “Fine?  I assumed you would be a little more excited considering the lap of luxury around here.  You’re a fascinating little girl.”

Little girl?  I know he didn’t just call me a little girl.  Now I’m officially pissed.

“I’m not a little girl.  I’m twenty-two, and I’m not here to enjoy the luxuries.  I simply came out of respect for my mother.  Please don’t confuse me for one of the eager breeders displaying their colors.”

My eyes cut toward the array of women flashing their bright, blindingly colorful dresses – like peacocks trying to lure in a mate.  Though, the male is usually the displayer in that sense.  Regardless, I hate peacocks and eager breeders.

My snippy response seems to catch him off guard.  I take a deep breath to calm myself before making another slip.

He laughs differently now.

“Wow.  You really don’t like the other girls around here, do you?  I love your feistiness.”

Oh, I’ll show you feisty, but you won’t love it when I do.

I shake my head to disengage from my temptation to inflict pain.

“I don’t bear any ill will against them.  I simply don’t respect the women who flock here to be preyed upon like cattle.”

He mimics my head shaking and a provocative grin spreads as he replies offensively, “I wouldn’t mind preying upon you.  You look very tasty.”

He licks his lips as he winks at me.

Oh, gross.

Now I just want to choke him.  The image of my hands around his neck, depriving him of needed oxygen, makes me smile.

I recoil slightly to refrain.  Then I almost choke on the bland words that barely escape through my gritted teeth.

“Excuse me, I need a drink.”  He starts to volunteer his services of drink pouring just as the other guy had, but I interrupt him before he can.  “I plan on getting it myself.”

I hastily make my departure before another ape finds a chance to approach me.

Mongrels!

I finally make it to the beverage table.  Bottles and bottles of wine cover the surface.

Oh, thank goodness.  I need a real drink.

Wine is not so abundant in my camp.  We rarely get the opportunity to enjoy it.  The grapes suffered the last few seasons, and it has become even scarcer.

I find myself wondering how they have acquired so much.

My thoughts are abruptly halted by an obnoxious interruption.  A guy is yelling out some random, indistinguishable word, and in response, all the men start pounding their chests while low grunts emerge from their throats.

I swear.  Did they forget to evolve?

I pour the wine into one of the chalices and guzzle it down with all the intentions of overdrinking.  My eyes are scouring the landscape in search of something.

Damn it.  I’m looking for him.

I’m not successful though.  Every broad shouldered goon is here except for him.  Reluctantly, I give up the search and a surging wave of disappointment floods me with such a breathtakingly unexpected flow.

I grab the wine and fervently pour more.

Drink, girl.  You sure as hell need it.

My eyes wander once more, but their search is interrupted by something infuriating.

The men have assembled into a line to take shots at apples swinging from side to side on a pendulum type of device.

Apples!  We’re starving and they’re shooting at food as though it’s disposable!

There are exactly twenty apples moving in different sequences.  From what I can gather, the object of the game is to strike as many apples as one can with as few arrows as possible.

The burning desire to attack them where they stand is almost too profound to deny.  They’re shooting food we could be eating – those selfish sons of bitches.

One guy celebrates as he hits all twenty with nine arrows.  The next guy steps up and pulls arrows from over his shoulder quickly to reload after every shot.  He strikes fifteen of them.

Malfus and my mother are standing too close to each other as they view the spectacle.  How does she not tear him apart?  He’s encouraging the waste of precious food.

I decide to join them, my own agenda rattling around as I approach.  I take a deep, cleansing breath and try to expel all the vicious things I truly want to say as my voice delivers a soft, almost sincere tone.

“Malfus?”

He seems startled by my speaking his name.  The last time I spoke to him was when I … well the last time I remember speaking to him was when I was seven.

His tone relays his unmasked surprise.  “Yes, Arena.”

Be sweet and innocent Arena.  Don’t lose your cool and go bitch Arena.

“Would it be rude of me to ask for a chance to engage in the apple competition?”

My mother’s eyes widen in sheer horror upon hearing my request.

Malfus seems a little stunned by the question as he replies, “It would certainly be a first, but there’s no reason for it to be considered rude.  This is a day when the women are encouraged to enjoy all the festivities.  I don’t see any reason why you can’t enroll in the contest.”

I smile as I continue, “If I win, can I take the apples home to my camp?  The food would be of incredible use to them.  I hate to see it spoil on the ground.”

Suddenly the shadow of what appears to be humanity darkens in his eyes.  He seems to be a little pained - confused even - by my request.  It’s almost as if he’s disturbed by hearing me voice our starving circumstances.

“I don’t see any reason for that to be a problem.  I tell you what, if you win, you can take home all of the food not consumed here today.”

Well, that was easy enough.  Go me!

“Deal.”

My mother relaxes slightly, but I can still see the worry dominating her eyes.

Malfus has a smirk forming now.  “I must warn you though.  These men have been training on this obstacle for years.  Though it looks simple enough, it’s not so easy to hit the swinging targets from the distance you will be placed.  Kace holds the record of hitting all twenty with two arrows.  He does it fairly regularly, and he’s already done it today.”

Butterflies crash into the walls of my stomach, and I gasp in response.  Now I’m filled with even more disappointment.

Oh, I’m going insane.

I quickly shake off – or at least attempt to shake off - the momentary distraction and continue with a cocky, arrogant demeanor.

“Well, I guess I’ll have to hit all twenty with one arrow then.”

Malfus laughs harder than I have ever seen him laugh.  “I’m impressed by your ambition.  I wish some of my men had that sort of confidence.  Good luck, Arena.”

I don’t need luck.  I just need someone to carry all the damn food back.

I nod with a forced humbleness and walk over to the obstacle.

One of the brawny, shirtless guys has humor streaming from his dark eyes as he hands me the bow and a quiver containing ten arrows, laughing as he does so.

Oh, I can’t wait to silence that fool’s laughter.

I smile as I take one arrow and hand the remaining nine back to him.  “I won’t need these.”

He laughs even harder now.  I can hear more chuckles from the assembling audience as I load my arrow.

I take aim and slow my breath.  I press the line tightly to my face to ensure accuracy.  Studying and gauging the wind, I account for speed and direction.

Very patiently, I watch the apples rise and fall in their swooping motion as I calculate the time they overlap, counting down the exact time I need to strike.  I steady my breath as all the ambient noises around me fade, and only the sound of my breath rattles in my ears.

My heart pounds lightly in my chest as I find the rhythm.  Then finally, I end the suspense and release the arrow.

It spirals through the air with lightening fast speed.  Everyone watches in silence, the anticipation that had built is finally going to be answered.

It almost seems to be happening in slow motion as the arrow hits the block of wood at the end of the course.  All twenty apples fall with a domino effect from their perch - each one split perfectly in half.

Everyone gasps in disbelief.

Ha!

I smile, very pleased with my accomplishment.  Everyone is speechless, stunned into silence – just the way I like it.

Malfus smirks as he slowly claps his hands in appreciation for my skill.  The men around me suddenly seem less eager to approach me.

That’s right boys.  Not exactly breeder material now, am I?  Now leave me the hell alone.

Malfus speaks with a hint of surprise and intrigue.  “So the daughter of Chief Clash is a better marksman than my warriors.  I shouldn’t be so surprised.  Very good, Arena.  I’ll see to it all of the uneaten food is sent to your clan as promised.”

I curtsy to him – very gracefully to my surprise – and then walk away feeling very proud of myself.  Not only have I just managed to bring home a mountain of food, I have also dissuaded the men from treating me as cattle.

They want a woman that cooks and cleans, not one who can shoot a bow better than they can.  Intimidation riddles their eyes.

Much better.  Well done, Arena.  I almost attempt to pat myself on my back, but that might be a bit much.

I walk over to hear the whispers of one of the eager breeders.  “She just shot the bow.  Can you believe that?”

Another girl responds with the same sort of disgust in her tone.  “Well at least we don’t have to view her as a threat now.”

They giggle in unison.  I just ignore their stares and pick my wine back up.  I bask in the gloriously smooth burn of the strong red wine.

It’s nice to feel like the day hasn’t been a complete waste.

I lean back beside a doorway to the banquet hall to enjoy my drink in peace when I hear a familiar voice.

“The knife throwing competition is coming up shortly if you wish to show off your skills there as well.”

My heart leaps up into my throat and my ears throb from its flustered pace.  I turn, hoping his face won’t have the same affect on me as it did the day before.

Damn it.  It does.

Kace’s voice is so incredibly seductive, forcing the dormant two-headed beast known as desire and lust to ravage my body.

He’s propped just inside the doorframe.  His eyes lock with mine with a burning intensity I didn’t know could exist.  Both of his hands are tucked gingerly in his pockets, making me want to pull them out and wrap the around me.

I have every right to feel confident, but for some reason I feel nothing but awkward and shy.  I’m starting to worry his stare has also awakened the cannibal inside of me when I feel the overwhelming desire to taste his flesh in my mouth.

I really am bat-shit crazy, and it’s entirely his fault.

He isn’t shirtless like the rest of the barbarians.  His perfect body is hidden with clothes, much to my unbidden disappointment.

He’s wearing a white, almost transparent, long-sleeved, button up shirt.  The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, and the top few buttons are undone, revealing the top of his silky smooth chest and mouthwatering neckline.

His dark pants complement the shirt in a way that makes me fight a smile.  My knees fight against my will to stand as they do their best to buckle beneath me.

I finally speak with a shaky and quiet tone.  “I wasn’t trying to show off.  I was simply trying to bring home food that would have otherwise gone to waste.  My camp will appreciate it.”

He smiles bigger, and now my heart’s wild pace quickens even more.  “I know what you were doing.  I was simply teasing you.  It does agitate me slightly that I now have to step up my game in the bow department.”

I try not to laugh – or giggle rather – like one of the fool breeders.  I compose myself enough to sound respectable.

“I think I at least dissuaded the goons from trying to treat me like an unwrapped present.  They seem to be a little more standoffish now.”

He laughs loudly as he counters, “On the contrary, you’ve captured their attention even more now.  They’re simply trying to revise their approach.  They’re used to submissive and eager women that are begging to sit in the huts and cater to them.  They view you as a woman with deadly precision and an excellent candidate to produce the perfect son.  Thanks to you, these events will start having more women shooting a bow or throwing a hatchet.

“The guys realize their usual tactics will come off as condescending, possibly offensive, and they’ll come at you with a whole new game plan soon enough.  You are more of a challenge now, and these men love a good challenge.”

I laugh this time.  “I think you’re very wrong.  They want a girl who is perfectly content cooking and cleaning.  They want a girl who is lying in wait for them to return from a hunt.  They don’t want someone who challenges them.  It’s emasculating for one, and they prefer submissive women.  They now know I’ll never be that woman who follows the order of things.”

He leans down so his face is inches from mine, and my breathing cuts off.  He smiles menacingly as he speaks with such a smolderingly smooth tone.

“We’ll see, Arena.”

Damn my name sounds so good on his lips.

He straightens up and I stare at him as he walks away.  His hands stay in his pockets as he head toward Malfus and my mother.

At last, the breath I had been desperately trying to release finally finds the courage to escape through my lips, and a new, deep breath quickly fills my starving lungs.  My temperature has raised so much it leaves me questioning the possibility of a fever.

My eyes remain on him all throughout the bow event until Helena startles me out of my foolish trance with a whisper.

“He’s a good choice I hear.”

I nearly fall from jump that followed her startling presence.  I speak in an almost breathless tone from the unexpected fright she unintentionally delivered.

“Sheesh!  You scared me to death.  Warn me before you do that.”

She laughs under her breath as she continues, “I’ve seen you staring at him for over an hour now.  You haven’t even eaten the lunch spread they provided.  Don’t tell me you’re not hungry.”

Her insinuating tone bears no subtly.

I roll my eyes, though I secretly worry my newfound fascination is too obvious.

“I’m not staring at him.  I’m just enjoying watching the men failing to match my one arrow feat.  They may never move on to the next event if they continue to be unsuccessful.  As far as the food goes, I think I’ve filled up on the wine.  It’s been a while since I’ve been able to enjoy a glass, and we get to carry home any uneaten food.”

Her laughter holds a power that implies she doesn’t believe me.  I know I sure as hell don’t believe me.

Crap.  Why is he driving me crazy?

His hair ruffles through the fingers of the wind, and his shirt turns up in the corner as the breeze catches it once more, exposing that firm, tantalizing piece of flesh hiding beneath it.

Stupid wind.  Why does it seem like everything is conspiring against me?

I peel my eyes away, exerting more effort than I thought possible to use on such a mundane task, and I turn my attention solely on her, meeting her scrutinizing gaze.

Distract her any time now, Arena.

“So how did Harrison feel about having a girl beat him and all of his boys?”

She blushes, which is not the reaction I had expected.  I only assumed he would say something crude that made her see his true colors, but she looks pleased for some bizarre reason.

“He asked me if I could shoot a bow like that.”

Definitely not the answer I was expecting.

I force a smile, and try to indulge in her desire to be giddy.

“Did you tell him you were better with a crossbow?”

She smiles sheepishly.  “I did.  I decided we need to be honest, and he seems excited about my confession of such an unladylike fancy.  He actually seems to be even more fascinated.  He asked me to enter the crossbow challenge today, and Malfus even approached me to encourage it as well.  I told them I would because I worried it would be disrespectful to decline.  What other challenges are you going to compete in?”

I shake my head, dismissing her query while still trying to wrap my head around the reaction from Harrison I wasn’t expecting.

“I don’t plan on entering any more.  I just wanted that food to go to people who needed it.  There’s no sense in it spoiling.  Plus it was nice to have the men leave me alone.”

She laughs in the same way Kace did when I said those words to him.

“Yeah, they’ll leave you alone for a while, but be warned, they are incredibly intrigued by you.  Malfus has requested your attendance in the next event.  Kace told him you were good with knives.  Malfus said he had to see for himself.  Looks like you’re entering another event after all.”

“I’m not sure how he knows I’m good with knives, but Kace doesn’t need to be speaking about me in any respect.  I can speak for myself.”

She shakes her head and a maternal condescension invades her eyes.

“There’s nothing wrong with someone appreciating your skill set.  That’s what you’ve wanted people to do.  You didn’t want to be viewed as a breeder, and now you’re certainly not.  I think it would be wise to enjoy this as a win.  Your expectations are much too high for anyone to meet.”

My head bows guiltily.  I know she’s referring to the expectations I have had for her more so than the expectations I have for others.  I’ve always been far too critical of her.

She pats my shoulder and walks toward a smiling Harrison.  Maybe I am too hard to please.

I walk toward my mother and Malfus.  Kace’s smile is almost my undoing as my knees waver under his gaze.  Malfus smiles with a satisfied sort of look, most likely brought about by my wobbly knees.

“So, are you willing to compete in the knife throwing expedition?” he chirps with an unusual air of excitement.

I accidentally glance at Kace but quickly shift my eyes back to Malfus as I respond with a cocky tone.

“What’s in it for me?”

“Arena!  Show some manners please,” my mother interjects with her blatant disapproval for my response.

Kace snickers and has to cover his mouth to hide his amusement.  Malfus just smiles as he speaks to my mother while staring at me.

“Now, Meredith, it’s perfectly acceptable for her to expect something in return.  I would be disappointed if she didn’t.”  Then he speaks to me with a hint of admiration laced in his voice.  “I will send an extra thirty pounds of meat a month along with seventeen extra bushels of vegetables for your people.  I’ll have Kace divide the rations amongst the households to ensure everyone gets a fair share.  The hefty size of Jespin makes me question his rationing capabilities.  Your clan should be getting more than enough food.  I feel Kace would be a little fairer in distributing the extra supplies.  We will cure them for you as well.  If you win that is.”

I smile victoriously.

“I’m in.  When do we start?”

He laughs at my eagerness before he answers with a little excitement.  “The event is starting now.  I made the boys stop the bow competition.  They’re apparently a little upset at their inability to duplicate your one arrow feat, but they are excited to have a chance to redeem themselves.”

My smile screams, I have a secret, as I turn my eyes toward the new assembling crowd.

They wouldn’t be so excited if they had ever seen my knife skills.

Kace’s charismatic voice interrupts my inner monologue.

“They’ll let you go first, and I’ll be following you.”

Crap.  He’ll be watching me, making me nervous this time.

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

I follow him over to the event, trying not to drool while being forced to stare at his perfectly sculpted back hiding beneath his thin shirt.

A guy steps up to explain the rules.  Not a trace of humor is on his face.  Now they’re taking me seriously.

“You have five daggers.  The one to hit the closest to the centers of all five targets in the least amount of time is the winner.  Each target is spaced exactly two yards apart in width and depth.  The final target will be twenty-five feet away.  Any questions?”

I shake my head, and he hands me the daggers with a look of amusement twinkling in his eyes.  No one is laughing this time.  No one is underestimating me or whispering about my inevitable failure.

No pressure.

I smile as they sound the bell for me to start.  I flip the daggers quickly, and they rip through the air with exact precision, each one pounding into the dead center of the targets.

Everyone gasps once again in disbelief.

“Less than three seconds,” the man timing me declares.

I smile at the announcement.  That’s better than my usual time.  I suppose I might thrive on pressure.  No one will beat that.

My breath refuses to release once more as Kace steps up for his turn.  I’m staring like a fool, lost in the captivating man who has rattled me to no end.

His smile surprises me, and a mystery lies shaded in his perfectly blue eyes.

He takes his five knives very comfortably, almost lazily, with an overflowing air of confidence.  As soon as the bell dings, he flings them through the air, matching my speed and precision.

The fire inside of me rages after witnessing his exhibition.  Damn he’s hot as hell right now.  Shit!  I’m in too deep.  I feel like I’m drowning in a sea of unexplained emotions that have never hindered me before.

Malfus smiles as he announces the time Kace has set.  “It appears we have a tie.”

Others begin stepping up, but they’re either too slow or less accurate.  I anxiously wait to learn what the tiebreaker will be.

Please don’t be crossbow.

Finally, everyone completes their rounds, but to no avail.  Most of them show their disgust for their inferior performance.

That’s right boys; I just whooped your asses in front of all the eager breeders.

Malfus speaks to Kace with amusement.  “Well how do you want to handle this?”

Kace’s spellbinding smile spreads again as his eyes trap mine.  His cool tone sends the most delicious chills throughout my body.

“I can settle for a tie.  She can still have her extra rations.  I feel like she’s earned that much.”

Malfus nods in acceptance of Kace’s terms.  “Then it is settled.  I’ll see to it you get your extra meat and vegetables.  I’ll even throw in some fruit when I can.”

I try to hide my bubbling excitement, but I know that’s almost impossible.  I nod to him as I respond very calmly, “Thank you.”

Malfus laughs as more humor enters his voice.  “I feel a little distressed now.  I’ve taken so much pride in my men’s abilities.  Perhaps my training methods are not as grand as I have credited them to be.”

My mother quickly refutes his self-deprecating remark.  I can see she’s worried my actions have offended him.

“She was always very eager to learn how to hunt.  Her father showed her and her sister how to do so.  I’m sincerely sorry if this is at all an inconvenience.  I can assure you that no insult was intended.”

He speaks very reassuringly to her – which shocks the shit out of me.  “No insult was given.  I’m just admiring her precision and speed.  It’s a rare thing to see.  Kace doesn’t usually have very much competition.  I think he’s enjoying the challenge.  I also appreciate the fact my men will be training day and night now to match her skill set.  Sometimes it’s a little hard to get them to focus.  I believe this was just the push they needed.  I doubt I will have to even ask them to train now.  They’ll beat me to the exercises every morning.  I’ve never seen them so focused or so intent on anything other than chasing the ladies.  There’s certainly no need for an apology.  I’m enjoying every bit of this.  I can’t wait to see Helena’s crossbow skills.”

My mother visibly relaxes.  I cringe as I see Malfus wrap an arm around her waist.  Why in the hell is she letting him touch her?  She can’t be that appreciative of his allowing us to compete.

My thoughts are once again halted when my hand is suddenly burning, and the fire spreads throughout my body.  I look down to see my hand has somehow found its way into Kace’s.  Instinctively I jerk it free.

He rolls his eyes at my hasty removal.  “I already told you I don’t bite.”  His eyes carry that look that makes my knees feel like they have no chance of staying in place.  His voice is tempting, tantalizing, and so damn sexy.  “I was going to take you to the crossbow event.”

Why do you need my hand?  I can just follow you there.  Why in the hell can’t I say that out loud?

My traitorous hand freely moves back to his despite my silent protest.  It’s as if my body is thinking by itself and completely ignoring the sound section of my brain.  He flashes his heart-stopping smile as I concede and he begins pulling me to another section set up for the crossbow event.

I smile when I see Helena stepping up in her elegant blue dress as she loads the first arrow.  She has the others strapped to her back.  The object of the game is apparently to hit as many of the targets as possible when they appear.  There’s a guy pulling strings that lead to numerous targets around the area.  There’s only one arrow for each target - a total of ten.

I lean over to Kace, finding myself desperate to ask him anything.  I hate this feeling of… weakness.  “When do you compete in this one?”

His hand still clings to mine for some reason.  Perhaps he’s forgotten that he’s holding it.  Disappointment now invades my body.  If he’s forgotten that he’s holding it, then he obviously isn’t struggling with the same two-headed beast that plagues me.

He whispers so as not to disrupt Helena’s concentration as she prepares herself mentally.

“I don’t.”

“Why not?”

He does well to hold his laughter as he responds with a hint of admiration lingering in the background.

“I’m not entering any type of bow competition against the Clash girls ever again if I can help it.  I will forever humbly decline any such requests to do otherwise.”

Unsuccessfully, I try to stifle a smile.  His words roll out of his mouth with such adoration instead of resentment.  It makes the cannibal in me stir again when his lips are close enough to taste.  I almost fall apart at the seams just staring into his eyes.  Such a normal task – eye contact – is feeling like torture.

His hand finally releases mine, and I’m rushed with a sense of disappointment.  Damn skin contact has to go on the list of things to never do with him again.  I can’t even begin to think clearly right now.

He studies Helena as she yells to the man holding the strings.  “Ready!”

The targets start popping out in random order.  Helena fires her arrows vigorously.  Her reload is amazingly fast – per the usual.  The last arrow finally hits the tenth target.  An accidental cocky smirk appears on her face.  She doesn’t usually show the pride she takes in her ability.

Again, Malfus seems pleased.  He claps for her, and is quickly joined by the mouth-wide-open audience that has come to see another Clash girl kicking ass.

Harrison scoops her up, and they become enthralled in a kiss that deserves privacy rather than an audience.

I really do not need to see this.

Kace turns to smile at me with intrigue sparking wildly from his eyes.  “That’s why I’m not entering.  That’s absurd.  We do well to hit eight of the targets in twice the amount of time that she just took.  I usually hit all ten, but it takes me at least a full minute longer.  How on earth were you two trained?”

Why do I feel so excited by his adoration?  “My father was very adamant in making us ready for anything -” Except for dark haired, blue-eyed, set-me-on-fire-hot-as-hell guys – “He believed that women had just as much right to wield a weapon as a man.  We had days and days of intense training.  He made us the best we could be, and then he pushed us to be better than that.  The crossbow has always been my Achilles heel-” Until I met your perfect-pain-in-the-ass- “I love the feel of the real bow.  I’ve always fancied knives as well.  I can use any weapon though.”

“Impressive.  Good luck keeping the men off of you during the dance portion of the evening.”

I roll my eyes, and try to ignore the blushing sting on my cheeks.  “I told you they would leave me alone.  No one has even tried speaking to me since the bow event.”

His eyebrows rise up and down menacingly.  “Just wait for it.”

Change the subject, girl.  Get out from under those enchanting blue eyes before you do something stupid.  I finally cut my gaze and shift the conversation.

“I wish I had my jeans and boots on.  This silly dress and these thin shoes are driving me crazy.”  But not as crazy as you’re driving me.

He brushes my hair back from my shoulder as his enticing, smoldering tone refuses to give me peace.  Chills and fire collide against each other, sending my body on a ride that makes me squirm.

“I personally find it very appealing.  You’re certainly more impressive today than you were yesterday.”

There’s no longer a piece of my body that hasn’t been subjected to the tell-all-my-secrets blushing.  The desire coils into the pit of my stomach.  I’m desperate to touch him.

I do my best to sound like anything other than one of the foolish eager breeders I have mocked relentlessly over the years.  I force myself to step away from the intimate space we're sharing, in an effort to find some clarity with a little distance.

“This really isn’t my normal look.  Don’t get any ideas.”  I’m angry that my words lack conviction.

“You really need to learn how to take a compliment.  I’m still not trying to enter into a courtship.  You know where I stand on that.”  Yes, I do know where he stands on that, so why in the hell do I feel like this is something… hot between us?  Why am I feeling disappointed he isn’t trying to seduce me?  “I was just pointing out the obvious.  The dress is very… sexy, and your hair is much nicer like this.”  His fingers twiddle one of my curls, and my knees can’t take anymore.  I prop a hand up on the wall beside us, and try to add some support to my weakened stance.  Damn he’s killing me slowly.  “Just say thank you.”

“Thanks,” I strain out with a hoarse breath.

I need someone to intervene.  Please… anyone… please save me from this incredible, mouthwatering piece of art that is making me act a fool.

His eyes show more amusement, as he moves three steps forward despite my two steps back.  This asshole knows what he’s doing to me.  He’s enjoying my discomfort.  What the fucking hell is going on?

“See.  Now was that so hard?”  His voice carries a whispered temptation that confuses me all the more.

Yeah… shit… I got nothing.  My lips have sealed themselves, resisting the urge to attack his.  My mind says, “Screw you,” and refuses to help me even try to form a thought.  My legs are almost rubber beneath me, and my heart has all but collapsed in exhaustion.

He continues smiling as the dinner bell rings, finally breaking the deafening silence between us.  “Time to feast.”

Yeah, well, that’s not going to happen.  My appetite has packed its bag and exited the camp.

CHAPTER 4

AN EVENING TO REMEMBER

His hand grazes my back as we enter the massive cabin.  Once again, the chill and fire fight against each other inside the confines of my weary, exhausted body.  It’s unnervingly confusing for me to have such feelings – feelings I never believed myself capable of having.

His hand slowly trails down my back, sending chills down each touched portion until I can no longer feel its warmth.  I look to see he has stopped to speak with a group of shirtless baboons.  My eyes try to seek the comfort of a friendly face, and I finally spot Helena.  Thank goodness.

Harrison quickly acquires the seat next to her before the other mongrels get any ideas.  I almost laugh at his haste.  I grimace as Malfus swipes the seat beside my mother.

I take the opportunity to grab the seat between my mother and Helena.  It’s comforting to know that none of the mongrels can sit by me, and that there isn’t a chance of being too close to Kace.

I feel as safe as a child does when asleep between their parents – my hormones being the monster under my bed.

The table we’re at is by far the most impressive table I’ve ever seen.  It stretches the full length of the massive cabin, allowing plenty of seating for the ridiculous amount of guests.  The surface is littered with more food than I’ve ever seen in one place at one time.

Some of the other women start giggling as the men swish into the seats beside them.  So many women from the other clans have gathered here to find the ideal mate.  Only a few from my clan were single and of age.

Kace pulls out a chair down several spaces and across the table, leaving him barely visible without me obviously leaning over the table to spy.

Just when I’m relieved by his distance from me, I see a girl sit beside him, and suddenly I’m desperate to claim a chair closer to his.  And… damn it… it’s Mary Wilson.

Of all the women here, why does it have to be her?  That bitch has tormented me since my father…  What the hell does she think she’s doing sitting next to my…  Wait… He’s not my anything, so why do I give a damn who sits by him?

I can’t help it.  Jealously isn’t an emotion I’ve ever dealt with in this sense, but I think the green bitch has reared her head against my better judgment.

I try to appear aloof and inattentive as my ears listen in.  Mary is speaking in a far too giddy and giggly tone as she scoots her chair closer to his.

“So, why are you wearing your shirt?  Are you shy this time?”

I let out an exaggerated and audible sigh of disgust.  Everyone directly by me turns to see what my problem is.

Shit!

I scramble around nervously trying to think of something to explain my accidental outburst.  “Sorry, I just bit my tongue.”

A few smirks ensue my lie, and I’m appalled by the scandalous thoughts parading themselves in these goons’ eyes.  I really should have said something else.  Too late now though.

Apparently, Kace doesn’t normally wear his shirt at these functions.  I resume my private eavesdropping affair.  I can’t help but roll my eyes when I hear his arrogant response.

“I just wanted to give the other lads a chance this time around.  It’s not fair to them when I get all the attention.”  His eyes glance in my direction, and he smiles triumphantly when he realizes I’m now obviously listening in.

Damn it.  What happened to subtlety?  I violently jerk my head to the front, and grab a piece of bread from the basket in front of me.  I pretend to focus all my attention on it, though I’m still using my peripheral vision to watch him.

As soon as his eyes are no longer trying to trap me, my eyes shift back to him.  Mary noticed the look we exchanged, and she becomes a little more aggressive in her approach.

“So have you decided who you’re going to ask to dance first?  I’ve been keeping my first dance open in case you decided to pick me.”  Oh, please don’t pick her.

He just smiles at her as he responds vaguely.  “I haven’t thought that far ahead.  I’ll keep you in mind though.”

He excuses himself and stands.  Don’t stare.  Don’t stare.  Crap, I’m hopelessly staring.  I can’t help myself.

His eyes catch my staring, and my eyes refuse to break the contact.  He continues our eye-locked state as he sits down in the unoccupied chair directly across from me.

I finally summon the courage to break free from his demanding eyes when Malfus taps his glass to propose a toast.

“Well, this has been one of the most eventful and entertaining banquets we’ve had in quite some time.  I believe most of the credit for that goes to the Clash sisters.”

My cheeks radiate the glow as my eyes dart toward the majestic stare Kace is giving me.  I almost dissolve in my seat when his smile emerges.

I can barely hear the rest of the toast, until something worth hearing commands my full attention.  I turn my eyes back to Malfus.

“As you all know, I never had a family of my own.  I’ve been trying to find a successor who could take my place once I reach a time when retirement is in the cards.  After many years of begging, Kaceton Brice has finally agreed to be that successor.  I would like to toast the man who will one day be the Tribal Chief, for I know he will be one of the best this tribe has ever seen – rivaled only by Chief Justice Clash.”

My jaw almost detaches itself in a desperate attempt to hit the floor.  Kace nods in appreciation for the noted admiration and raises his glass toward Malfus.

Crap!  Now he’s even hotter suddenly.  He is locked back onto my gaze and every hair on my body is standing at attention – which considering Helena made me shave most of them, there really isn’t too much to stand.

I don’t know whether to crawl under the table and hide for the rest of the night, or leap across it and devour the lips that have been teasing me in every way imaginable since I met him.  I’m feeling sick now.  It’s all too much to digest.

The lively dinner continues with congratulations and praises.  I desperately try to avoid his come-and-get-me eyes, but that proves to be a futile endeavor.

He makes sure to catch me every time my eyes drift to him.  Each time he smiles and I have to shake the ensuing chills.

I’m relieved when the dining portion of the evening ends.  I feel obsessed with this man I barely know.  I feel like such a… girl.

I’m incredibly annoyed when I find out the dance portion is about to commence.  The eager breeders assemble themselves in a long line and make themselves noticeable to the slew of men congregating around them.

One guy makes his way to me with far less confidence than the two that had approached me with earlier in the day.  I almost feel sorry for him when he stammers around in an attempt to speak to me.

“Would… you… like to be my first dance?  I would like … to hear of your training process.  I think I could benefit from it greatly.”

Kace is now in my line of vision, holding back a laugh that almost makes him bend forward.  His I-told-you-so smile is enough to irk me.

I sigh as I think of my mother’s orders to dance.  I politely accept his bumbling request, and let him pull me to the dance floor.

Kace had warned me they would revise their approach so it didn’t sound like they were being offensive.  I fight the urge to give the guy an eye-roll when he sings my praises.

“I found your skills to be amazing.  Where did you learn to shoot and throw like that?”

I just reply very dully.  “My father.”

The guy still sounds incredibly nervous.  “Harrison is a lucky man.  Your sister seems to be rather taken with him.  I suppose they’ll most likely embark on a courtship.”

I glance toward Kace who is drinking what appears to be wine.  His eyes catch mine, and he moves his eyebrows in an up and down motion.  I roll my eyes in response.

He tries not to laugh at my discomfort, but I can tell he’s enjoying the fact that he has proven he was right.

The guy realizes my attention has drifted and he desperately tries to reclaim it, showing a little more courage in his approach.

“So my name is Killian.  It’s nice to finally meet the second daughter of Chief Clash.  I have to say, you definitely don’t disappoint.  I haven’t ever seen anyone make a debut like the one you had today.  I was incredibly impressed with your marksmanship.”

Oh good grief.  I’m almost choking on his attempt to feed my ego.  I resist the urge to gag on the mouthful he’s given me when another guy taps Killian on the shoulder as soon as the song ends.

“I came to ask if I could have the second dance.”

I nod and Killian reluctantly relinquishes me before walking away with a scowl.  The new guy introduces himself with confidence that lacks the arrogance I encountered earlier in the day.

“I’m Graylon.  I’m so excited you finally came to a banquet.  I was rather taken by your one arrow surprise.  It was astonishing and exhilarating.  I would like to invite you up to train sometime.  I think I could learn from you.”

Damn.  I’m going to drown in a sea of compliments for my skills.  My eyes travel back to Kace who is speaking to a couple of guys, but he continues to glance at me every once and a while.   His scandalous smile almost makes me forget about my distressing situation.

They continue to dance with me one by one.  I keep telling them my reasons for competing were solely based on my intentions to win food for my camp.  I finally decide I have danced enough to appease my mother.

I excuse myself from the dance floor and join the eager breeders on the sidelines, all of them chomping at the bit to get a chance to dance.

Two guys come up, and I tell them I need a minute to rest my feet.

One of the girls leans over to speak to me with obvious envy oozing from her lips.  “So you’re the secretive second daughter of Chief Clash.  I had started not to believe you existed.  But clearly you do since here you are, and all of the boys are falling all over themselves to dance with you.”

Her shrill pitch makes me shiver.  I already have a headache from the overloaded ego swimming around.  I aim for indifference and succeed.

“Yes.  Here I am.  I didn’t intend on them trying to dance with me.”

“Who would have ever thought these boys would be so fascinated by someone shooting a bow or throwing one of these?  Certainly not me.”  She whirls a steak knife around as a prop.

Seriously?  A steak knife?  I respond with a bit of a smug tone.  “That’s a steak knife, not a throwing knife.  The two are very different.”

She scoffs with contempt for my correction.  “My apologies for the inaccuracy.  I don’t aspire to know the difference.  Personally, I don’t feel like it’s a woman’s place.  But that’s just my humble opinion.”

My eyes once again find those mesmerizing blue eyes that call to me.  I respond distractedly to her insincere remark that was obviously a poorly veiled insult.  “It’s a common misconception, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion.”  My comment was obviously sarcastic – no one confuses the two – but she doesn’t seem to catch on. 

Dumbass.

Instead, she notes the object of my staring.  “That’s Kaceton Brice.  Don’t go fishing in that pond.  He attends every function, but he never dances.  Even if he does try to dip into the market, Mary has staked her claim, and you don’t want to mess with her.  I can assure you she fights dirty.”

I just shrug, breaking off my eye contact.  “I don’t have any intentions of fishing in any pond of the metaphorical sense.  He’s just a nice guy.  Most people don’t usually surprise me.  He did.”

The girl’s face suddenly pales, and her voice carries alarm.  “Uh-oh.  It looks like it may be too late to save you from her wrath.”

I look up to see the fiery red hair of Mary bouncing from side to side as she stalks toward me with all the grace of a three-legged mule – neck outstretched, shoulders raised too high, feet clomping too quickly for her to keep her balance.  She’s normally very attractive – as much as it pains me to admit – but right now, she looks like hell as just found a new home inside her.

Fury seeps from her eyes as she bends down and speaks in a low, threatening whisper.  “Stay the fuck away from Kace, or I swear I’ll make your life a living hell!”

Whoa.  And people say I’m unladylike.  There’s absolutely nothing delicate about her vocabulary, and she didn’t even extend the courtesy of delivering a veiled threat – it was a blatant, in-your-face threat.

Stunned by her unprovoked attack, my momentary loss for words gives her an opportunity to continue her accosting.  “You’re not wanted here, and I’ll be damned if I let you go after Kace now that he’s just been announced the chief’s successor.  Keep your damned eyes and hands to yourself.  I swore I’d never let you run the show again, and now daddy’s little girl isn’t the chief’s daughter anymore.  I’m sure as hell not going to let you be the chief’s wife.  Now pick your jaw up off the floor, and get the hell out of here before I make good on my threat.  You don’t want to play with me.  I can promise you that, doll.”

Un… fucking… believable.  Doll?  I don’t want to play, bitch?  On the contrary, hell yes I do.

I slowly stand from the chair, my eyes never leaving hers.  I feel the tug of a devilishly wicked grin playing on my lips.  I can’t see the look on my face, but I can tell by the “oh fuck” look in her eyes that it’s the look I was shooting for.

I deliver a bone-chilling, ominously, low threat of my own, as equally unveiled as the one she had affronted me with, but with more conviction and intimidation than she could ever have accomplished.

“For the record, my jaw never hit the floor, doll.  As for your threat, I’ll speak to whoever I damn well please whenever I damn well want to.  You mend hems and knit sweaters.  I throw knives with deadly precision and with speed your mind can’t fathom.  I shoot a bow better than any man here, as proven today.  I don’t know whose balls you borrowed to come over here and try to tango with me, but I suggest you give them back and find a new partner, because I promise you’re not ready to dance with me, doll.”

Her face is now ghostly white, matching the faces of the rest of her entourage that joined her in her foolish quest to attack me.  Her lips are quivering, but they dare not counter anything.  I start to walk away, but I quickly turn around to deliver one last not-so-veiled threat.

“Oh, and by the way, if you ever mention my father to me in such context again, daddy’s little girl will string you up by your toes and beat the unholy hell out of you before using you for target practice.  Got it…doll?”

She swallows hard, still unable to respond to me.  I feel someone’s arm at my waist, and the sensation that floods me tells me exactly who it is.

Shit!  I hope he didn’t just hear that.

“Ladies,” Kace’s smooth voice cordially offers.

All the girls look up to meet his gaze.  I keep my back turned, not daring to look into those eyes that so easily hold me captive.  The pale in their faces turns to a bright, vibrant, blushing red.  I roll my eyes at them.

Mary fidgets with her hair, blushing ridiculously hard as if she and I have not just gone toe-to-toe.  Is this how I look when I talk to him?  Oh good grief, I hope not.

She twirls the end of her red hair between her fingers, while rocking her body from side to side.  “Hey, Kace.  Do you want to dance?”

His fingers trail my cheek until they reach my chin, making my knees do their rubbery dance.  He turns my face to meet his, and there it is… that look.  I’m screwed.  His smile is making everything in my body throb now.  I feel a desperate need to be in his arms, engulfed by his scent, and trapped by his stare.

“I was actually coming to ask Arena to join me.  I think I’ve been patient in waiting for my turn.”

Oh… my… damn.  I wasn’t expecting this.

The girls gasp in disbelief as his hand intertwines with mine.  Mary’s face is now redder than her hair, but it’s not from blushing anymore – it’s pure, unadulterated rage.

He doesn’t give me a chance to answer – which is probably good since my mouth never works right around him.  He pulls my hand and leads me onto the dance floor.

Heat swarms me as his free hand drapes my arm around his neck and then his arm slides into place around my back.  His other hand stays locked with mine, and we begin the graceful sway on the floor.

His dark hair sweeps his brow just above his eyes.  His piercing blue eyes seem to draw me in with such a haunting effect as they stare deliberately into mine.  I quickly withdraw from the captivating gaze, and I try to lessen the intensity with a comical remark.

“You know, Mary is wishing she knew how to throw a knife right now.  I guarantee you it would be planted into my back if she did.”

He laughs.  “Yes.  She’s been quite persistent.  Her intentions have always been crystal clear.  Personally, I find her to be incredibly exhausting and irritating.”

“I share the same sentiment toward her.”

He pulls his hand up to brush the hair from my face.  That contradicting sensation of fire and ice roars once more.  He moves his hand back down to resume its place on my back, pulling me a little closer as he does.

I’m finding it hard to breathe now.  Swallowing seems to be an issue as well.  Nothing on me is quite up to par it seems.  Everything in me is scrambling around in panic, trying to figure out what the hell is going on.  I’m on the verge of a meltdown because I’m overheating in his arms.

He keeps his voice light and laced with a sensual tone.  “I’m sure I’m the envy of every man in here right now.  You’re the talk of the evening.  I told you this would happen.”

Breathe girl.  Get it together. I shake my head.  “Yes you did.  I can’t believe you were right.  I really thought that I would be free from their advances after the bow competition.  After the knives, I was certain I would be able to rest in peace.  Little did I know it would just fuel their efforts.”

He laughs a little harder as he responds.  “I can’t wait to see the women competing at the next event.  It’s inevitable now.”

I roll my eyes.  “It was an honest misconception I can assure you.  I never meant to entice them even more.”

He speaks with his smoldering tone now as he pulls me even closer.

“I know.  It would have been a much less eventful evening without you though.”

The song ends, and another guy comes up and taps Kace on the shoulder.

“I was hoping to cut in.”

Kace starts to back away with reluctant arms slowly peeling themselves from me, but reflexively, I pull him back to me.  He smiles when I do.  I speak with a genuinely sweet tone.

“Sorry.  I planned to dance with him a little longer.”

Kace shrugs at the guy while speaking very insincerely.  “Sorry Frank.  The lady has chosen.”

Frank quickly huffs away.  Kace smiles deviously.  Yet again, I’m unsuccessful in hiding my smile.  I try to explain my intentions without revealing the true reason for my fingers gripping so tightly.

“I can’t deal with any more of them tonight.  My head is going to explode if I have to hear one more person raving about my skills.”

He chuckles lightly.  “That’s fine by me.  As long as I’m dancing with you, the Grafflin clan will leave me alone, hopefully.”

He motions toward Mary very obviously.  She scowls as I bump him playfully while laughing.

“She’s going to be out for my blood if you continue to provoke her.”

He pulls me closer again, his eyes smoky and begging me to press my lips to his.

“I think you can take her.  She might be able to sew a dress a little better than you, but I don’t think a needle and thread would do her much good in a fight.”

I laugh ridiculously hard at that.  Then my laughter tapers off as I worry he might have heard our conversation, considering his words almost mirrored mine.

“You didn’t hear our conversation, did you?”

He tilts his head to the side.  “No, but I could gather what it was probably about.  She usually threatens every girl at these things.  I didn’t want you having to deal with her.  What all did she say?”

Crap!  “Um… not too much.  She’s got a few problems with me on a personal level.”

“Oh?”

Shit.  Now he wants me to elaborate.  Why did I just do that?

“Yeah, she always had a chip on her shoulder when we were kids.  Some people weren’t too thrilled with the attention my sister and I received.  It’s old, immature, and I’m not sure why she brought it up.”

“Because she’s jealous.  You might need a bodyguard tending to you now that I’ve danced with you for two songs.  It’s unlikely she’s going to let that ride.”

He snickers slightly, making me want to smile as his lips form that exquisite smile he so effortlessly owns.

She will if she knows what’s best for her.  At least I know he didn’t hear us now.

His eyes shift from playful to serious instantly – like he said something that soured his moment.

I start to question it, but he speaks first.

“I’ll be escorting you and your family home tonight, along with Harrison and some of the others.  You’ll need some help carrying all that food, so we’re going to strap down the horses.  Unless you object, I’ve requested you ride with me.”

He doesn’t act like that pleases him, and I’m doing all I can not to flip backwards in delight.

“I don’t see that as a problem, but you don’t look too thrilled with having to do it.”

He smiles as his grip loosens slightly, and hesitance enters his voice.

“Malfus will be coming too.  He plans to speak to Jespin about the rations.  He says your camp shouldn’t be in so much need for food.  I plan to stay behind to make sure nothing happens to you or your family after their meeting.  Some of the others will be camped out around your hut as well.  Malfus isn’t taking any chances of Jespin retaliating.”

I almost find that humorous, as relayed by my tone.  “Jespin isn’t going to do anything.  He’s scared of his own shadow.  He’s just a lazy ass with a superiority complex.  There’s really no reason to worry.  If anything, he’ll be the one needing the protection if we find out that he’s been cheating us out of the food for some reason.  Why would he do that?”

There’s nothing playful about Kace’s tone.  “He may very well act irrationally after tonight.  I’m not supposed to tell you this, but Malfus intends on relieving Jespin of his chief duties.  At first he thought you were being overly dramatic, but the more you spoke of your camp’s hunger problems, the more he thought about it.

“He had a private conversation with your mother about the subject, and well… he’s royally pissed to say the least about finding out just how grave your crisis is and has been.  In fact, we’re all a little pissed about it.”  His jaw clenches tightly as if he’s beyond pissed.  It strikes me as odd since he really doesn’t really know any of us.  “He plans to let your mother run the camp until he finds a more permanent solution for chief.  A man who faces that sort of humiliation is likely to respond violently.  Malfus plans to have us be there in case of a problem.”

His smoldering gaze has been replaced by one full of compassion, honest concern, and even protectiveness.  Suddenly, I want him even more.  This is ridiculous.

I’m still reeling, trying to process what he’s saying.  I’m shocked and a little floored by the unexpected revelation - one thing in particular stuns me the most.

“Malfus regards women as less than animals.  Why would he entrust my mother with the camp?  And what has Jespin been doing with the food if he’s not giving it to us?”

Kace shakes his head.  “He doesn’t regard all women that way.  He just views the overly eager, submissive women that way; or as you refer to them, the eager breeders.  He has the utmost respect for your mom, your sister, and you.  He always has in the many years I’ve known him.  He doesn’t let anyone speak ill of you three.  I know you hold him responsible for the fading of your father, but it isn’t quite that simple.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Your father rallied the men with Malfus at his side.  Together, they embarked on a mission to start a war with a far more violent clan.  The Mostiles were kidnapping and brutalizing women from other clans.  I’ll spare you the worst of the details, but I suppose you can imagine what else they wanted them for.”

I swallow hard, trying to keep up, and then he continues after giving me a moment’s digestion.

“Malfus was going to take lead and offer himself as sacrifice to the viewer.  The initiator is most always the one to be faded.  He suspected their men would suffer the worst of the consequences since their actions had been the key element for the war.  Everything was going according to plan, until your father charged in ahead of Malfus.  I’ve read all the logs of the account.  Malfus did all he could to get ahead of your father, but it was too late.  Your father was faded and all the memories people had of him for two years.”

I interrupt with a hollow tone.  “One year, eleven months, twenty-three days, and five hours.”

His eyes soften even more at my wounded exaction of his timeline.  I look away, but he tilts my chin up so my eyes are back on his and continues his story.

“The Mostiles that had been party to the reason for war were also faded, more so than anyone could have ever imagined.  There were more Mostiles faded that day than any fading ever recorded before.  The memories of the damage they had caused were erased.  Your father’s sacrifice was not in vain.  Malfus felt responsible, and he’s allowed you to use him as an outlet for your anger all these years.  I feel like you’re stronger than they give you credit for – I feel as though you deserve to hear the truth.”

My mind has shutdown.  Why hasn’t someone told me this?  “Thanks for telling me,” I whisper.

He embraces me in a comforting manner.  I can see Mary walking up to us now.  Impatience, jealousy, and crudeness lace her icy tone.

“Well, I hate to break up the party, but I couldn’t help myself.  It doesn’t seem fair that all of these other men are patiently waiting their turn to dance with the second daughter of Chief Clash, so I thought I would take over and keep you busy while she makes her rounds.”

Kace seems very unimpressed with her bold approach.  He speaks with a distant, disinterested tone.

“Sorry, Mary.  I’ve promised to show Arena some of the grounds before I escort her back to her camp.”

“Escort her back to camp?  Since when do we receive escorts?”

Oh good grief.  I can’t deal with her on top of everything else.  Fortunately, I don’t have to.  Kace continues to handle her with less than a ginger touch.

“We’re just escorting the Tympest back.”

“That hardly seems fair.  I think I need an escort too, and I know who I have in mind.”

“Excuse us.  I think Arena needs some air.”

“I think it would be very rude to just leave all of these other gentlemen waiting for no reason.  Let her get some air, and then you and I can discuss your escort service.  Unless… You two aren’t in a courtship, are you?”

She anxiously awaits his response.  He wraps his arm around me tighter, holding me up at this point.  He knows that I can’t deal with the groping mongrels now.

The floodgates have just been opened and my mind is still reeling.  My eyes are fighting so hard against the tears that are begging to escape.  He speaks softly but forcefully, letting her know to back the hell off.

“She has requested to not dance with anyone else, and I respect her wishes.  Now, excuse us.”

She crosses her arms in protest as he leads me out the doors.  Once outside, I continue to fight the tears coming to my eyes.  I bend over, put my hands on my knees, and cough on the fresh air.

His compassionate tone is burdened with sympathy.  “I’m sorry.  I don’t know what I was thinking.  I shouldn’t have told you all of that.”

I slump down in one of the chairs when I know my legs can’t support me anymore.  I speak in a choked up tone, fighting the feverish flood banging against my eyelids.

“Yes you should have.  Someone should have told me the truth long ago.  Why would they hide that from me?”

“They didn’t want to introduce you to the gory details.  Malfus worried you might be mad at your father for sacrificing himself.  He couldn’t bear the thought of that.  He has felt responsible ever since it happened, so he willingly took the blame.”

I look at him with a few tears finally escaping from my eyes.  “Do my mother and sister know?”

“Yes and no.  Malfus didn’t want your mother to think your father had abandoned his family.  Harrison told your sister just last year.  She has been carrying the burden of uncertainty of whether or not she should tell you and Meredith.  I shouldn’t have made the decision to tell you.  I’m sorry if I only made things worse.”

I can’t help but feel betrayed.  I need to hit something so badly right now it aches.  I need to do something.  I realize he knows me all too well, considering he doesn’t know me at all, when he hands me a hatchet.

“There are still a few things left to destroy if you think it would help.”

“Yeah, that would be pretty perfect actually.”

My head bobs with a bit of a laugh and he wipes the tears from my eyes.  In that moment, I don’t have a raging desire to be with him, I have a distinct need.  I’m lost and I don’t even know how to react to these emotions.

I’ll hack a few things up and deal with one surge of emotions at a time.

CHAPTER 5

A BRUTAL AWAKENING

We load up the horses once I finish destroying everything left to destroy.  I plan to tell my mother everything as soon as we have a moment alone.

Kace pulls me up onto the front of the horse, and I sit sideways in his lap, since my dress has made it impossible to straddle the horse.  The closeness is heating me to the core, and my blood feels like lava pumping through my veins.  My cheeks flush from the heated contact.

He stares down at me as the others group up, and I can’t help but stare back.  Malfus pulls my mother up to be in the same position.  I don’t cringe quite as hard this time at their contact.

Harrison repeats the action with my sister, and she giggles.  Some of the others load up the food and the rest of our group, and we finally set off on our short voyage just as the sun starts its slow descent.  Our goal is to be out of the woods before the darkness sets in.

The slow trotting horses are forcing my head to bob uncontrollably.  I finally nestle my head on Kace’s chest.  He pulls back to look down.

“Tired?”

“Yes, and my head bouncing around isn’t too favorable, considering the aching it is already experiencing.  Your chest is helping to steady it a bit.”

He chuckles in response.  “Sure.  That’s what all the girls say.”

I nudge him playfully, and he laughs.  I felt so comfortable and torn at the same time.  I shouldn’t be feeling like this.  I can’t keep fighting these feelings if we stay this close.

When we enter the camp, we’re swarmed with people eager to hear the details of our excursion.  I feel sick when Malfus waves to Jespin.

“Jespin, a word please.”  It's not a request.

Jespin glares at me suspiciously before he follows Malfus to a private area.  Two Shaylan guys follow them.

My mother exchanges a glance with me that tells me she knows what’s about to happen.

Kace helps me down from the horse.  His arms slide up my sides as I gradually make my way down from the horse.  I keep my hands glued to the back of his neck.

Our eyes stay locked in the most connected way.  I feel something inside of me stirring – he’s evoking the dormant two-headed beast once again.  I swallow hard, and he seems to be feeling something as well.

Our fiery moment is interrupted by Johnny.  “Hey Arena!  How was the dance?  Did you have to beat the hell out of any of the Shaylan apes?”  He pauses as he realizes what I’m wearing.  “Wow!  I didn’t know you could look that good.  I mean… Whoa.”

Kace backs away, and his hands drop from my sides.  He seems uncomfortable now, and I feel compelled to introduce them.

“Kace, this is Johnny.”  Crap.  He thinks Johnny’s my boyfriend.  How do I do this without blurting out the fact he’s not.  “Johnny has been like a brother to me since we were kids.”

Good girl.

Kace visibly relaxes and a smile reappears on his face.  He sticks his hand out to shake Johnny’s.  Johnny very warily shakes his proffered hand, but then he speaks to him in a more grilling manner.

“So you’re one Malfus’s minions, eh?”

Damn it, Johnny!  He crosses his arms, ignoring my scowl.  I don’t know that I’ve ever seen him so confrontational.

Kace just laughs slightly at the insult he didn’t deserve.  “If that’s what you want to call me.”

Johnny scowls, and his voice is almost growling.  “It is.”

I roll my eyes as I defend Kace.  “Don’t attack him Johnny.  He was the one who pulled me from the trench.  He’s not an ape.  Things aren’t always what they seem to be – I learned that much tonight.”

Johnny narrows his eyes, and disbelief fills his voice.  “Did they brainwash you while you were there?  You aren’t Arena.  I don’t know who you are.”

He seems offended almost.  He just turns and walks away.

“Johnny!”

“We can talk tomorrow.  I have stuff to do right now.  Glad you enjoyed yourself.”

I’m baffled by his rudeness and slightly embarrassed by it as well.  I turn to face Kace as I try to explain Johnny’s odd behavior.

“I’m sorry.  He isn’t usually so belligerent.  I don’t know what’s wrong with him.”

Kace chuckles somewhat.  “He isn’t used to feeling like he has to compete for your attention.  He doesn’t view you as a sister, and he doesn’t like the fact you view him as a brother.”

I laugh harder than I had intended to.  “Johnny doesn’t think of me that way.  I think he was just caught of guard when I defended you.  It most likely just hurt his feelings.”

He smiles a little more now.  “Yeah, that was nice of you.  I wasn’t expecting that either.”

I blush again.  I’m really growing tired of my newfound girly behavior – it doesn’t suit me at all.

He looks down as he rubs the back of his neck.  Then his eyes rise to meet mine.  And once again, I find myself staring hopelessly, lost, engulfed, and now inflamed as well.

Helena and Harrison walk up to interrupt our spontaneous heated moment.  I’m actually very grateful for that.  I’m rapidly losing control, and sanity is slowly packing its suitcase as we speak.

“I’m worried Jespin isn’t going to take the news too well,” Helena murmurs with a hushed, serious whisper.

Harrison pulls her into a protective embrace before speaking in a reassuring tone.  “I can promise you that nothing will happen to you.  I will see to it personally.”  He leans down to plant a sweet kiss on her lips.  Then he continues, “Besides, Malfus is planning on moving all of you up to the Shaylan camp once he finds a permanent replacement for Jespin.”

My eyes widen.  “What?  Why?”

When the hell was someone going to tell me?  Move aside lust, anger has just reentered the building.

He squirms uncomfortably under my furious gaze, uncertain about whether or not he should continue.  Kace relieves him of his burden with a hint of irritation lingering in his tone.

“Again, this is something you’re not supposed to know.  Malfus plans to move your family in with the Shaylan to keep you away from any sort of belated retaliation.  We’ll stay posted down here for a while, but once he finds a replacement chief, he wants you all to join us.

“He’s very unhappy with the living arrangements the Tympest people have had to endure.  The rations given should be feeding your clan easily.  He had a tough time today dealing with your obsession for the food crisis.  The other clans have the same rations, and they have an excess.

“The Grafflin clan has the most people, and they never have a shortage of food.  It makes him wonder if there is bartering going on that he’s unaware of.  If Jespin is sourcing out the food for personal gain, there will be severe consequences.  Malfus is trying to find out what’s really going on.  Until he does, Jespin will reside here.  Eventually Jespin will make a move, and we’ll find out the truth.”

I swallow hard, anger slowly subsiding.  He had avoided that question earlier when I asked.  The food was always delivered to Jespin, and he dispensed it personally.  I didn’t know we received the same amount as the other clans.

Kace grazes my back with his hand as we walk back over to the horses.  Damn… lust has officially returned.

He speaks softly and does well at distracting me from the seriousness of the situation.

“Let’s get this food distributed before their meeting concludes.”

I nod as I grab a basket of bread.  The other warriors that had joined us begin going door to door with us.  Kace takes charge, and I can’t help but be in awe of his sexy, commanding presence.

He’s so kind and considerate.  It’s as if my entire world has been turned upside down.  Everything I thought I knew is wrong.  Everything I have fought against is now something I crave.

Johnny doesn’t come to the door when we stop at his hut.  His mother graciously accepts the food instead.  I assume he’s still angry with me for defending Kace.

Finally, we all make our way back to the hut.

I turn to Kace with anticipation haunting my words.  “Where will you sleep?”

He leans back against the hut, and a smirk appears on his face.

“I don’t plan on sleeping.  The whole point of my staying here is to keep an eye on things.  I can’t do that if my eyes are shut.”

Well, crap.  “Where will you be?”

“I’ll be sitting on the backside of the hut.  Julius will be on the top of your hut.  Harrison will be around back with me, and the others will be posted all around the village.  If anything seems off to you, just say my name, and I’ll be there in a blink.”

“Or call me.  You know I’ve got your back, baby Clash.  The next time you have a problem, you better tell me,” Julius murmurs, slightly scolding me in the end.

He gives me a quick hug before kissing my temple, and then he nods at Kace before climbing atop the hut.

Helena smiles and winks at me.  She’s enjoying my unstoppable blushing.  The hussy.

I narrow my eyes at her, but she doesn’t show any sign she’s intimidated.  She’s always been immune to my death stares.  She’s never seen me act like this, of course, neither have I.

I’ve certainly never felt this way, and I don’t know what to do about it now that I do.

I focus my attention on Kace once more, who is now standing dangerously close to me.  His body propped lazily against the house and his come-and-get-it smirk are both driving me wild.  I try to speak without stuttering.

“Thanks for doing all of this.  I’m sorry you were tasked with this sort of detail.”

Harrison laughs ridiculously hard.  I look at him peculiarly.  He has to catch his breath to speak through his laughter.

“Kace wasn’t assigned this detail.  He told Malfus he was staying – it wasn’t up for debate.  Malfus doesn’t usually let his golden boy stray too far from home.  Due to the courtship your sister and I entered into tonight, I was allowed to stay with her.  Malfus also told Kace to try and talk you into staying with us because of your hotheaded nature.  Kace assured him he would keep you out of trouble.  Don’t think for one minute he’s here against his will.”

Kace pops up from his lazy stance and slaps Harrison on the back of his head.  I can’t help but laugh.  Kace starts rubbing the back of his neck with his hand, his eyes refusing to meet mine.

“I knew you wouldn’t leave your mother, and I insisted I be here for a number of reasons.  Mainly, to keep you from doing something dangerously foolish, but also to make sure no one took a cheap shot at you or your family while you slept.  I couldn’t just wait to see how things went.  I wouldn’t have slept anyways.  I’ve never been one for suspense.”

He scowls at the still snickering Harrison.

Harrison and Helena walk away to enjoy a private kiss.  I quickly turn away once I realize what they’re doing.

“Well, I didn’t want to see that.”

Kace laughs.  “Yes, well, Harrison has been eager to enter into a sanctioned courtship with her.  Your sister has been very patient in waiting for him to complete his ten challenges.”

I huff slightly.  “I find it very distasteful someone has to win ten challenges in order to qualify to be in a relationship or start a family.”

He shrugs.  “Just the warriors.  Planters and other facility dwellers can marry whenever they choose.  We’re the hunters and the fighters though.  It would be worse if we were asked to fight after we had acquired a family.  It would be a terrible thing for a family to go through.  Too many times things have gone wrong in a challenge, and someone lost their life because of it.  Plus it provides a little incentive for winning.”

I smile slightly.  “Except in your case obviously.”

He smiles cockily.  “Well, eventually I will settle down.  I’m just not in any sort of hurry to do so.  I like doing things on my own terms, and I like for things to evolve naturally.  A forced sort of setting isn’t for me.”

“Do you think they feel forced?” I ask in a hushed tone while staring at my sister and Harrison.

He turns my face back to meet his.  “No. They’re happy to be together.  Your sister has been sought after for years by some of the other warriors who finished their challenges earlier than Harrison.  She loves Harrison, and his heart has belonged to her since the moment they met.  And it hasn’t been because of her genes either.  He would gladly move to the planter camp if he had to just to be with her.  He would never treat her with disrespect.  He’s a good guy.  If he weren't, Malfus wouldn’t have allowed their union.  As I said earlier, he’s very protective your family.”

I nod with a little relief, even though it seems very odd to hear such things.  The desire to touch Kace has returned with all the fury of hell.  This day has been truly exhausting with all of the new information I’m processing.  It’s possible I’m just vulnerable right now.

I have to get away.  I can’t do this.  This is all so… I just can’t put myself in this compromising position.

“Well, I should go on in.  I am dying to get out of this dress.”

His eyebrows rise slightly.  Now I blush even more.  I hadn’t meant for that to come out so crudely.  A menacing smirk appears as his smoldering tone returns.

“Well, I guess I should leave you to it then.  Let me know if you need any help.”

He gives me a playful wink and I almost pounce on him.  Fortunately, I find my restraint again.  “I’ll see you in the morning before I leave.”

I force a smile, hoping my desire isn’t as obvious to him as it is to me.  I hate walking away, but it’s necessary.

“Thank you again, for everything.  I mean that.”

“It’s no problem.  Sleep well.”

Those exciting, alluring, protective eyes dance mercilessly with their stare catching mine.  That smoldering, dark look almost sends me over the edge.  I force the door shut to break their trapped gaze.

Once concealed, I allow a huge smile to spread across my face.  I grab my pen and start writing every moment down in my journal before doing anything else.  I finally change clothes and reluctantly go to bed, knowing there’s no way in hell I can sleep when he’s just outside.

CHAPTER 6

TINGLES OF TEMPTATION

I’ve been staring at the wall for over two hours, unable to go to sleep.  My mind has replayed the entire night over and over again, and each time I find myself wishing I had kissed him.

He’s so different from everything I had imagined any of them to be.

I keep getting up and lying back down.  How is it possible I want him this badly when I barely know him?  I’ve gone mad.

The air still clings to the heat from the previous night’s fade.  Just yesterday, the temperatures had been cool enough for snow to lie on the ground, and now the air is almost too thick to breathe in.  I strip my pants off, exposing my legs.

The long shirt falls into place just below my underwear.  I lie back down, and pull the shirt up to my chest while wiping the sweat away.

I mumble to myself, “Oh good grief.  This is ridiculous.”  That perfect piece of man is killing me.

I get out of bed once more to get a cup of water.  We purified a large amount just days before.

I guzzle it as if I’ve thirsted for centuries.  I stare at the door while wiping my mouth, debating on whether or not I should check on Kace.  I quickly change my mind – mostly because I know I’m getting weaker the longer I’m around him.

Loud yelling erupts outside the door.  I rush out trying to find out what the hell is going on, and my hands fist at my sides when I realize it’s my mother and Jespin.

My mother is yelling at Jespin with fury burning in her eyes.  In all my life I’ve never seen her so angry.

“Don’t you dare blame me or my daughters for this, Jespin!  This was your own doing!”

“Malfus would have never come here if your daughter had not trespassed.  Now he’s accusing me of misusing my authority just one day after Arena said what she did in our meeting.  Explain how coincidental that is!  Not to mention, he’s putting you in charge.  Now what does that sound like to you?”

“It sounds like he finally figured out what a horrible leader you really are!  Arena has nothing to do with this!  Be a man and take responsibility for your actions.  We’ve been starving for months, and this whole time we’ve had more than enough food.  Now you tell me how that’s my fault?  You can’t be trusted.  Malfus is right to assume such.”

That cowardly son of a bitch is trying to pin all this on us.  Unbelievable!

She turns to walk away, but Jespin calls to her with something that brings out every demon inside me.

“You power hungry whore!  I bet you had to sleep with him in order to get him to do your bidding.  You’re a disgrace to your husband’s memory.”

Tears fill my mother’s eyes, and before I even realize what is going on, I’ve already launched a rock with all my strength.  It connects with his head so forcefully it knocks him backwards and brings blood.

Jespin touches his head and looks at his bloody fingertips.  “You stupid cow!  I’ll kill all of you for this!” he growls.

Just as he grabs a knife from his belt, Kace is suddenly in front of me, wrapping his arm behind him, and pulling me into his back.  The warm night has apparently gotten to him as well.

His shirtless body commands my attention, making it impossible to concentrate on Jespin.  The immaculate contours of his back sing a siren’s song, begging me to crash into him.

I finally shake myself out of hypnotic trance as Kace threatens Jespin.  His tone sends such warm, delicious, and savory feelings surging throughout.  His protective words make me rest against his back.

With the situation well under control, all I can focus on is his glorious body.  I am so out of control.  A man is threatening my mom and me, and all I can do is stare at Kace’s mouthwateringly perfect physique.  Un-fucking-believable.

“I would advise you to put the knife away.  If you make take one more step toward Arena or her mother, I swear I’ll castrate you here in this yard.”

Jespin seems stunned by Kace’s presence.  That’s right you fat son of a bitch, we brought out the big guns.  Oh hell.  I’m out of control.

Helena, Harrison, and the others that stayed in our camp are suddenly right beside of us.  Julius jumps down from his perch, popping his neck and cracking his fingers.  He wipes his eyes in a sleepy sort of manner as he adds to Kace’s threat.

“I’d listen to him if I was you.  We’re all a little cranky right now from sleep deprivation.  There’s no telling what might happen.”

Jespin staggers backwards as he nervously addresses all of the threatening new faces.

“You’re not supposed to be here.  This camp is for the planter’s only.  This has nothing to do with you.  Tympest business is my domain, not yours.  You should leave, and go back to your own camp.”

“We’re not going anywhere.  Tympest business is no longer your concern, Jespin.  Malfus has relieved you of that burden.  You need to drop your weapon now,” Kace says with absolute control and power.

He nods to Julius and he flings a knife at Jespin as a warning, intentionally missing his head by centimeters.  The knife sticks into the shed beside Jespin’s head.  Jespin stumbles backwards again, dropping his knife this time.

Kace reaches back to pull me closer to him in a protective manner as Julius starts swinging around a pair of knives.  Harrison unsheathes his sword and holds it up threateningly.  Kace speaks again.

“Malfus has a no-tolerance policy for traitors, and this will be considered treason in his eyes.  You’ll be taken into custody until we can ride back at daybreak.”

Julius walks over to Jespin and yanks him to his feet – which is no small feat considering Jespin’s hefty size.  He holds the sharp tip of a blade to his throat and pushes him toward a hut.

Harrison puts his arms around Helena, comforting her.  My mother walks up to Kace with sheer appreciation glowing in her eyes.

“Thank you.  I went to check on some of our chickens – they don’t normally stir so wildly at this hour – when I got there, I saw Jespin coming out.  He had bags full of eggs.  He’s apparently been stealing them at night, leading us to believe they weren’t producing as many.  He tried to lie his way out of it, but I wouldn’t listen to his preposterous tale.  Thank you for being here.”

Kace nods warmly.  “I’ll make sure Malfus knows everything.  He’ll most likely come to check on you tomorrow.”

My mother tries to sound strong, but I can tell how shaken she really is.  She’s never been confrontational – other than with me.

“That won’t be necessary.  I’ll be fine.  I just need some rest, and maybe a shot of something stronger than water.”

Harrison hands her a small container.  “Whiskey.”

She blushes slightly and nods appreciatively.  “Thank you, Harrison.”

She pats Kace and Harrison on the shoulder as she walks by.  Harrison and Helena follow her into the hut as the others follow in the direction Julius had taken Jespin.

Kace and I are alone now, and his body still has me entranced.  I feel as helpless as a small deer trapped in the jaws of a lion.

He turns to face me with an enigmatic smirk spreading across his face.  I find myself inexplicably mesmerized by the smooth defining lines of his chest and stomach.

I’m a mushy pile of rubber at this point.  I don’t even know how I’m able to stay upright.  His smooth chest is almost beckoning me to touch it.  He’s amazing.

Once again, I feel as foolish as the eager breeders.  I fight the urge to giggle like some ridiculous girl would.  Oh good grief.  Get a hold of yourself, girl!  You’ve seen a man’s body before.

He continues to smile as he speaks in his all too smoldering and alluring tone.  “I guess I wasn’t the only one who grew tired of suffering from the heat tonight.”

My whole face instantly lights, and I can feel my cheeks burning inside out as I realize I’m still not wearing any pants.

“Oh my… shit!  Unbelievable!”  My panic is obvious.

I race back in to put on some pants.  I can hear him laughing ridiculously hard as I do so.  He walks into the hut just as I finish pulling them on.  He teases me comically.

“You should be glad the others were distracted with the whole Jespin ordeal.  Otherwise, they would have really been chasing you after that little teaser.”

I grab my pillow and launch it at his head.  He catches it effortlessly and laughs as he gently tosses it to a chair.  I just roll my eyes as I sit on the edge of my bed, mortified.  Move over lust, humiliation needs some elbowroom.

My mother comes back from her room to start a pot of tea.  She smiles at us as she speaks softly.

“I don’t think I can sleep right now.  Do either of you want some tea?”

“Tea would be greatly appreciated actually.  Thank you, Mrs. Clash.,” he murmurs.

She laughs.  “Please call me Meredith.  You’ve certainly earned that right after tonight.”

She winks at me to show her approval.

I just shake my head, hoping he didn’t see her not-so-subtle gesture.  Kace comes to join me on the edge of my bed.  I speak with a more serious tone.

“So why did you wait so long to stop Jespin?”

“Well, we were waiting to find out if he had been bartering with someone.  It’s dangerous to enter into a bartering agreement without notifying the rest of the tribe.  It’s possible the food was being used as payments for something.  We knew he wouldn’t just tell us, so we were hoping he would spill it to your mother in the heat of the moment.”  Humor enters his tone as he continues.  “However, you showed up and hit him with a rock.  That kind of put a kink in the plan.”

I scowl as I respond with anger surging through my whispered tone.  I don’t want my mother to hear.

“He shouldn’t have called my mother a whore or a disgrace to my father’s memory.  I should’ve done more than hit him with a rock, but that’s all I had handy.”

His humor fades instantly.  “No he shouldn’t have.  Malfus won’t be too kind to him tomorrow, I assure you.”

I cross my arms under my chest.  Rage has set in again, surging through me.  Then my eyes rest on his incredible, mouthwatering physique once more.  He smiles as he blushes slightly.

I realize he has noticed my obvious gawking.  Oh you dumb, dumb girl.  Way to be subtle.

He chuckles lightly as I jerk my head away, still lacking subtly.

My mother is smiling as well when she interrupts our incredibly awkward moment.

“It’s unusually hot out tonight.  The weather has been quite unpredictable these days.”

Kace smiles a little as he responds.  “Indeed it has.”

I hate it when people do that.  I don’t like for people to speak about the weather as if it’s our own, when we all know it’s the makings of the devil’s artwork hanging obnoxiously in the sky.

She places the tea on the table, and the foolish, false conversation about the weather ceases.

We both join her, and he pulls my chair out for me.  Normally I would scoff, say something rude, and pull out my own damn chair, but I let him be nice.  I can’t help but act completely different around him.

My mother displays her pleasant surprise for my abnormal reaction by smiling behind her glass of tea.

Kace finishes his tea and walks toward the door.  My mother stops him.

“With Jespin in custody, you should be fine to sleep in here if you’d like.  It’s obviously too dangerous to go back to your camp this late.  There could be all sorts of predators out there hiding in the bushes.  Just two weeks ago, we had a cougar come into our camp.  Arena had to kill it before it could attack anyone.  She was the only one not running around in panic.”

He smiles, staring at me while talking to my mother.  “Did she now?  That doesn’t surprise me.”  Then he shifts his gaze back to her.  “I wasn’t planning on heading out until daybreak.  The woods are tricky at night even without the threat of predators.  I’ll be fine outside though.”

“Nonsense.  There’s no reason for you to sleep outside with the animals.  I have plenty of blankets you can use to make a soft bed.  I’ll go get them right now.”

I blush more as she walks off to her room.  Kace shrugs at me with a smile invading his face.

“Looks like I don’t have much of a choice.”

“She can be pushy.”  Oh, this is going to be bad.  What are you trying to do to me, mom?

I give her a what-the-hell are you thinking look when she comes back in and starts preparing a pallet in the floor right beside my bed.  She ignores my glare, and presses on with her task.

He thanks her as she blows out the candle on her way to the bedroom.  She winks at me again as she does so.  Quit your damn winking, woman!

This is all hard enough to fight without Lady Love playing Cupid.

Kace lies down on the pallet, and his body is right there… exposed… tempting… perfect.  I climb into my bed that is just slightly elevated above him.  Well I definitely won’t be able to sleep now.

I can’t help but be torn between frustration and excitement.  There are so many contradictory emotions going through me at once it’s giving me a migraine.  Every once and a while, I sneak a peek to stare at him sleeping.

His body is beyond a masterpiece, and the sweat is beading up in perfect droplets before slowly trickling down his chest to his stomach.  Each line is pressed with perfect definition, and scandalous thoughts find their way to my mind.

I’m really starting to hate myself for being so silly over a boy.  Please let these alien feelings subside.  I can’t do this.

I knew the day would come when I found a guy attractive, but I refuse to become a housemaid to a man.  I refuse to let a man tame me just because I want to taste every piece of his body in my mouth.

Drat!

I have to go to sleep.  My mind is only getting darker with the dark thoughts of things I would like to do to him.

I have to be careful not to spend more time than necessary around him.  It shouldn’t be that hard to distance myself from him.  I’m a planter, and he’s a warrior.

Though we’re in the same tribe, we’re in two separate clans with a good stretch of wooded land between us.  There’s no reason for it to be too difficult to keep away from each other.

With Jespin locked up for treason, there should no longer be a reason for us to move in with the Shaylan clan.  I can very easily keep my distance.  I hope.

CHAPTER 7

UNSUITABLE SUITORS

The sun is peeking through the hut with its obnoxious rays.  I throw my arms over my eyes, but my attempt to shield them is in vain.

I’ve only slept for a mere hour at the most - thanks to Mr. Perfect sleeping beside me

I roll over to escape the annoyingly bright clutches of the rays, but I’m closer to the edge than I realize.  I fall off and land directly on top of Kace - hard.

He lets out a startled umph as I collide against his firm, bare chest.  He even looks perfect in the mornings after having the wind knocked out of him.

He starts laughing when he realizes what’s just happened.  He speaks through his laughter with a cruelly teasing tone.

“Well, good morning to you as well.” He winks at me with a smirk rising with perfection.  “Subtly isn’t really your style, is it?”

I scramble to my feet as I try to recover from the embarrassing accident.

“I swear that wasn’t intentional.  I was trying to… the sun was… I’m sorry.”

He laughs a little harder.  “You really need to learn how to take a joke.  I didn’t really think you threw yourself on top of me.”

My face beams with its new favorite shade of red.  Oh, I wish I had somewhere to hide right now.  I fidget in an awkward manner as I try to shift the subject.

“So what time are you guys heading out?”

He cuts his eyes toward me with a menacing smirk.  He continues to speak in a teasing tone.  “Why?  Are you in a hurry to get me out of here before you try to ravage me again?”

I cover my face.  Oh, this is utterly mortifying.

“No… I just didn’t … I…”

He finally interrupts my pathetically pointless rambling.  “Again, it was a joke.”

He shakes his head as he laughs even more.  He puts his shirt on, and I can’t help but stare as he slowly buttons it up.  He tries to stifle a smile.  I’m sure he can feel my traitorous eyes burning against him.

I walk away before I can make an even bigger fool of myself and scramble around to find the remaining coffee I had ground.  I place the kettle on the old wood burning stove, and pour the water in.

He walks over and examines the cracks on the side of the stove.  He speaks with a more serious and somewhat thoughtful tone.

“I’ll send a blacksmith to check these out.  You shouldn’t be cooking on something this beat up.”

A smile invades my face against my attempt to suppress it.  The concern he’s showing makes me even more in awe of him.

My eyes are suddenly stranded, staring at the back of his perfect neck.  He finally looks up and catches my gaze.  There we are, trapped in a perpetual eye-lock, neither of us blinking.  My voice is barely audible when I finally break the uncomfortable silence.

“I’m sure it’s fine.  They’ve been there for a while now.”

I can see a tug at the corner of his mouth.  He breaks eye contact and continues his examination of the cracks.  He glances over to the corner where we keep our firewood – our almost empty corner.

“It looks like you’re running low on firewood.  We have heaps of it left over from the banquet.  Malfus is a bit of an over preparer.  The cooks didn’t use a fourth of what he had us chop up.  I’ll send some out here.”

Why is he being so sweet?  Does he not know what he’s doing to me right now?

No man has looked out for me since I was a kid, and now here he is, being Mr. Dazzle and making me want to throw him against the wall and devour him.

Don’t giggle!  Don’t you dare giggle, Arena!  Damn it.  I’m fucking giggling.  Play it off.

“We can chop firewood you know?”

He just smiles as he takes the cup of coffee from my hand.  An accidental touch of our fingers sends the fire and ice colliding once more.  I actually gasp at the unexpected sensation.  He smirks at my ridiculously obvious reaction.

He strolls toward the window as he sips the cup of coffee while I try to breathe.

Oh, I could stand here looking at him all day.  Damn you lust.  Go away!

I’m staring at his back as he stares out the window, and my incredible view is suddenly interrupted.  He breaks from the window and moves away smiling and swiftly backing against the wall – as if he’s hiding from something.  I laugh at his unexpected and bizarre behavior.

“What are you doing?”

His only answer is a wink – which makes my stomach do back flips, but it doesn’t give me any answers.

He continues smiling while silently sipping his brew.  A loud knock erupts from the door, and I almost jump in response.  It’s so early.  Who would be here at this absurd hour?

I wouldn’t even be awake if I hadn’t rolled over on top of Kace.  Damn!  I wish I hadn’t just remembered that mortifying moment.

I look over to see Kace covering his mouth as his body shakes lightly from his unexplained silent laughter.  My brow rises in bewilderment.  What the hell is his deal?

I finally open the door after the knocking persists.  I’m shocked when I see the face of a guy that I danced with last night – against protest.  My eyes lower to a large basket of bananas and various other fruits.  His hands are clasped to the basket too tightly, and the wicker is creaking from his trembling nerves.

Well that’s … odd.  My head tilts in confusion.  “What’s this for?”

He smiles, flashing me every tooth in his mouth.  “I know how intent you were on bringing food back to your camp yesterday, so I decided to bring you this.  It’s more than I can eat.  I hope you enjoy it.”

Well, I just feel pathetic.  I smile at him appreciatively, although I would rather hide under the table now.

“Thank you.  You didn’t have to do that.”

“I want…”  He responds with such eager excitement that his voice hits a higher pitch than he had apparently intended for it to, and he has to clear his throat before continuing.  “I wanted to.  I know you seemed to fancy Kace last night, but he isn’t in the market for a courtship.”

Kace doubles over now – distracting me – as he holds back the urge to burst out laughing.  His hand is tightly clamped over his mouth, and his eyes are starting to water from the restraint.

Damn.  He’s going to make me laugh.  I have to stifle a grin as I shift my attention back to Mr. Fruit Basket.  He never seems to notice my momentary distraction.

“I, however, find you to be the most amazing woman I’ve ever had the opportunity to meet.  It would do me a great honor to court you.  I can assure you I’m a good man, and I would work very hard to deserve your affections.”

Kace silently mimics slapping his knee, and his face has turned maroon from the suppressed laughter.  He even looks like he’s having trouble breathing.  He’s enjoying this way too much.  Asshole.  I narrow my eyes at him this time.

I turn back to Mr. Fruit Basket and try to keep a straight face.

“Thank you…”

“It’s Jeremiah,” he says, filling in the blank for me.  He follows with a scandalous wink, making my smile forced and uncomfortable now.

This guy is getting on my nerves.  Go away!  At least my very unwelcome, overwhelming lusting desire has faded.

“Thank you, Jeremiah, for the wonderful selection of fruit.”  And for slaying the lust demon within me with your annoyance.  “I will give your offer serious consideration.”  Considered and denied!  “Right now, I just need to focus on my family and my clan.  It’s been an eventful couple of days.”

He starts to say something else, but I just wave dismissively and shut the door before a word escapes his lips.

I slap my forehead – a little too hard – as I plop down in a chair.  Kace is still doubled over in his silent laughter.  Once Jeremiah is out of earshot, Kace lets his loud laughter escape.  I roll my eyes and scold him for his petulance.

“That’s not funny.  They all think I’m pining over you like one of the pathetic breeders.  Not to mention, now I look like I was begging for food.  I was trying to earn food, not beg for it.”

He laughs even harder, showing his pleasure in my misery.  The prick.

“That’s the best part.  I love how he led off by trying to discourage you from thinking about me.  It feels good to know they find me to be such a threat.  And, the food is just a reason to show up.  It’s customary to bring gifts to the girlies.”

Damn it.  I should mad.  He just categorized me under girlies, but I’m more preoccupied with everything else going on.  I’ve officially been looped in with the eager breeders who are desperate to be with Kace.  The worst part is… I actually do want to be with him.

No I don’t. Yes I do, damn it!  Fuck!

I sigh with exasperation as I put my very conflicted head in my hands.  My mother walks out to question all of the loud laughter.

“What is going on?”

I don’t even have the gumption to look up.  My face stays hidden in one hand as I point to the basket with the other.  The surprise in her tone matches my surprise when I opened the door to Mr. Fruity.

“How lovely.  Who brought this?”

Kace tries to muffle his laughter enough for his words to be understandable, though he barely succeeds.

“One of the men eager to court your daughter.”

My mother gasps.  Gee mom.  Try not to sound too surprised.  Damn. Once the initial shock subsides, she joins Kace in his merciless laughter.

Another knock at the door silences the cackling duo.  Kace hides again, and my mother – the traitor – joins him as they delight in my torture.  I scowl at both of them, and they cover their mouths to silence their already forming giggles.

I take a breath before opening the door.  It’s another guy from last night, but I actually remember his name – Frank.  I had refused his dance proposal, so I’m a little baffled why he felt obliged to continue his pursuit.

He hands me a basket full of bread and candies.  I put it on the table beside the fruit basket, and then return to the door – trying not to give Kace the satisfaction of seeing me squirm.  I can hear the less than enthusiastic tone ringing out all too clearly.

“Thank you, Frank.  That was very thoughtful of you.”

He holds the same nervous tone Jeremiah had.  Sheesh.  What’s with these guys?  I can’t possibly be that intimidating.

Kace sure as hell doesn’t seem to feel wary of me in any sense.  He has no problem making me crumble at his feet.

“It’s my pleasure.  I didn’t get the opportunity to spend much time with you last night, and I was hoping to remedy that misfortune.  I realize you seemed a little taken with Kace, but he isn’t looking to be made an honest man any time soon.  He has voiced his desire to stay away from the courtship life for a while now.  Personally, I would hate to see you wasting your time.  I feel as though you deserve someone who is ready to give you the attention and praise you deserve – mainly… me.”

Kace is changing colors again, and my mother is wiping tears from her eyes as her body convulses from the curtailed laughter.  I almost worry she might combust.

They’re evil.

An evil thought of my own springs to mind.  Okay, Mr. Perfect.  Two can play this game.  Let’s turn the tables.

“Kace didn’t interest me the least bit.  I simply danced with him because it agitated Mary.  She’s always been quite the pest, and I do love torturing her in anyway possible.  Personally, I find him to be a too pretty, arrogant, wiseass.”

Kace throws his hands up in mocked anger, even though he can’t wipe the shit-eating-grin off his face.  I smirk very proudly of my little ploy, but my moment of victory is quickly soured when I hear the newfound hope in Frank’s tone.

“Terrific.  I don’t know about too pretty, but he is arrogant and he’s definitely a wiseass.  I can swear to you I’m neither.  Would you like to go for a walk later?”

Now Kace resumes his silent laughter as my plan bites me in the ass.  I’ve only made things worse with my attempt to keep myself from looking like a fool chasing after Kace – even though that’s a pretty accurate description.

I speak with a bit of hesitance, trying to pull my foot free from the heaping pile of shit I just stepped in.

“Not today.  Maybe another day though.”

Good girl.  Very vague and noncommittal.  Now act like a sullen, sad woman.  Men hate that.

I try to put on the best oh-how-pitiful-and-miserable face I can muster.

“I would like to take some time and digest all of the things going on around here.  It’s been so difficult to fully grasp the truth.”

I even force myself to choke up a little.  I’m so proud of me.

“Yes, I heard of the betrayal.  I’ll do anything at all you need me to.  All you have to do is ask.  I don’t mind staying and comforting you in your time of need.  It would be my honor actually.”

Drat!  “No!”

Kace’s eyes are wide, and his silent laughter seems harder for him to contain.  I didn’t mean to yell it out, but this guy seems to enjoy the sad crap.    Calm down, be cool.

I clear my throat and start again with a less offensive tone.  “No thank you.  I will be fine.  I need to get dressed right now.”

I shut the door before he has the opportunity to harass me further.

Kace and my mother both explode in unison once he’s just barely out of range.  I grab my aching head and shake it in disbelief.  My annoyance is far from masked.

“Will someone please tell them to leave me alone?”

Kace teases, “It won’t do a bit of good.  Those men are more determined to be with you than ever.  You shouldn’t have shot a bow or danced with me for so long.  That just makes you all the more desirable.  If they think I’m interested, then they’re really intrigued.”

His insight gives me hope.  I grab his arm and jerk him to me.  The heated touch is hard to ignore, but I’m a woman on a mission.

“Then tell them the truth.  Tell them you weren’t interested in me at all in that way.  Then they’ll leave me alone.  Right?”

My mother walks away with an odd smile.  Kace seems a little different now as he speaks without a trace of humor and only a faint – almost forced – smile lingers on his face.

“I’ll see what I can do, but no promises.”

His body gets closer to mine, and he slowly pulls his hand up to almost touch my face.  Chills spread all over and the inferno starts chasing my blood.

My whole body trembles beneath his smoldering gaze.  How in the hell am I going to survive this torture?

His lips start to come closer, and a smirk reappears with all of its tantalizing promises.  I swallow hard, and then my body sinks in disappointment when his hand passes my face and pulls an apple to his delicious mouth.  He bites into it, and his eyes spark with a dangerous dance.

He backs away with his teasing grin, still chewing the apple.  Oh, yes.  He’s definitely toying with me.  It’s driving me fucking crazy too.

That jackass.  His humor returns.

“I don’t think you’ll be going hungry for a while, so I’ll confiscate this for breakfast if that’s okay.”

I laugh, trying not to show my shaky stance due to his teasing apple dance.  That crafty bastard is good.

“Take all you want.  I would’ve never thought I would have too much food.”

He only half smiles as he looks down at the floor.  His voice is softer, and there’s a touch of reluctance buried in the undertones.

“I need to go.  I’m sure the others have already started loading up.  They’ll most likely be waiting for me.”  His eyes shift toward my sister’s door, and he smiles as he continues with a bit of humor.  “Whenever Harrison wakes up, let him know we’ve gone on ahead.”

I glance at the door too and then back to him with a smile spreading across my face as I nod.

Helena and Harrison made every sound known to the animal kingdom during the very long night.  Even though his eyes were closed, I would catch a smile on his face when I peeked over the side of the bed.

My poor, poor mother.

Kace and I had both pretended not to notice, and we sure as hell never spoke about it during our coffee morning.  The whole day had been dreadfully awkward and humiliating between my sister’s wild and loud sexploits, and the double whammy suitor patrol.

Kace smiles and turns to leave.  I want to grab him and dive into his arms.  I’ll be so glad when he’s gone.  Maybe then, I can put this stupid beast that’s haunting me to bed.

My stomach knots as he turns back around as if he’s forgotten something.

Why won’t you just go?  His heavenly, take-no-prisoners grin returns with a vengeance, and my heart barely maintains a feasible rhythm.  His voice is promising as it delivers an unexpected, thrilling, and devastating surprise.

“I’ll see you after while.”

After while?  He’s coming back?  Damn it all to hell.  I’m never going to have the satisfaction of the out of sight, out of mind concept.  Why in the hell is he coming back?

He moves to leave again – with every intention of leaving me hanging with my mouth wide open – but I call to him with confusion drowning my voice.

“You’re coming back?”

His eyes show nothing but pleasure in my pitiful tone.  I’m falling off the edge because of this… beautiful man.

“Yeah.  We’ll be hanging around for a while to make sure Meredith doesn’t have any problems settling into her role.  Harrison is going to be here all day.  That’s why he’s still sleeping away.  Julius will be coming back after we drop off Jespin.”

Well, hell.  I’m doomed.  I might as well go ahead and pick some flowers for my grave because I won’t be able to keep breathing with him hanging around.  My stomach responds to his promise of return by doing flip-flops.

Stunned into silence, terrified of what I might accidentally let slip, and plain dumbfounded, I just nod in response.

His daring grin spreads more across his face before he finally walks away.  There’s no way I can endure any more of this torture.  There has to be a way to stay away from him.

I slap myself in the forehead repeatedly as I mumble aloud, “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”  Why can’t I just be myself around him? Why can’t I just treat him like all of the others?  I’m almost growling at myself.  Why has my strength abandoned me when I need it the most?

My mother walks back out with her odd grin still lingering.

“Is Kace gone?”

I nod as I force a casual, nonchalant, I-don’t-give-a-damn tone.  “Yeah, but he said they would be back later to make sure you didn’t have any problems.”

She smiles even bigger as she nods.  “I’m sure that’s the only reason for his return.”

Her eyes aren’t even trying to hide what she’s insinuating but I try to play dumb.  Besides, I wouldn’t mind hearing her view without having to ask her out right.

“What does that mean?”

“He’s never visited our clan until a few days ago, and now he will be here three days in a row.  I just find that… interesting.”

I swallow hard, hoping she can’t use those super-eyes to see through my mask.  I keep my nonchalant air alive.

“It’s not like that.  He’s really doing what he says he is – helping you out.”

She pours a cup of coffee, and her eyes burn through mine under with her you’re-not-fooling-me stare.  “And you’re not at all happy about his promise to return?”

Damn.  She really can see right through me.  Act appalled.  Act appalled.  I slap my head yet again.

“I don’t care if he’s here or not, but Malfus is worried about your safety.”  Good girl.  Go me.

She laughs lightly.  “Yes, he is worried.  Malfus feels very guilty for having not known about our dire situation.  He’s overcompensating.  That doesn’t change the fact that you and Kace can’t keep your eyes off each other.  I’m not blind.”

Freaking eh.  She’s better than I gave her credit for.

“It’s not like that at all.”  Yeah.  Good one, Arena.  At least try to sound convincing, you fool.  Maybe she’ll have pity and just drop it.

Her eyes prove that to be impossible.  “If you say so, dear.”

Yet again, I slap my head – exhibiting my growing frustration for her persistence.

“I do say so.  Besides, he isn’t looking for courtship, and neither am I – in case you’ve forgotten.”

She sips her coffee very comfortably with a condescending smirk etched onto her lips.  Her petulance knows no bounds.

“He says he isn’t looking for that, but he doesn’t seem to be able to keep his eyes off of you.  Malfus told me Kace demanded to be here last night.  Malfus didn’t fight him on the matter because he’s never seen him so adamant about anything.  He said Kace is normally very laid back and easy going.  He also said it was the most passion he has ever seen him display.  It’s certainly something to think about.”

My head drops to hide behind the veil of my hands.  I try to reason with her without looking her in the eye.  Why won’t she just drop it?

“He just has a soft spot for me.  He’s the one who helped me in the woods the other day.  He’s apparently a good guy with a protective side.”

I peek over the top of my hand to see her smiling bigger.  Really?  What did I say to bring forth that smile?

I decide to use this moment to lay old ghosts to rest.  She’s in a good mood, and I have enough courage to do it.

“He told me something about Dad I think you need to know.”

Her smile falters and then a forced smile reappears.  “I guess Kace cares about you a little more than you’re giving him credit for if he is sharing those sorts of details.”

What?  She knows?  Am I the only one who didn’t fucking know?  Unbelievable.

I can tell she’s dreading continuing this conversation.  Her voice is weary and her breath is shallow.  I can’t believe no one has told me.

“I already know, dear.  I have for a long time.  Your sister told me last year, but I already knew then as well.”

“How did you know?  And why didn’t anyone tell me?” I ask angrily.

She grimaces slightly.  “It took me a couple of years to figure it out, but I finally pieced the puzzle together on my own.  Even though Malfus quickly took the blame for rushing into war, I felt like there was something else going on.

“Malfus has always been a bit hotheaded, but he’s also always been a very calculated and prideful person.  He’d never admitted guilt for anything before the fade.  It seemed odd he would do something like starting a war without justifying his reasons, and he never defended himself.  It was his uncharacteristic behavior that left me with doubts in the beginning.

“It wasn’t like him to withhold information, and he would never divulge his journal entries which would explain the reasoning for the war.  He didn’t remember it either, but I knew he had logged it.  He’s as meticulous at note taking as you are.  I knew something was bothering your father long before the faded memories, and I knew it had to be something pretty bad for him not to confide in me.

“Finally, I found the journals he had hidden, disclosing all the answers I had been seeking.  I haven’t blamed Malfus for many years, but I didn’t want you girls to know.  I was especially worried you might be upset.  I even worried you might hate your father.  I couldn’t have handled that.  Your father loved you both so much.  He just wanted to make the world a little safer for you.”

The breath that I’ve been holding finally escapes, leaving me with goose bumps as a new one slips in.  Tears brim on my lids and blur my vision, but I refuse to let them fall.

“I’m upset, but I’m not mad.  I’m actually a little relieved.  I’ve spent years hating this place because I blamed everyone in it for my dad’s fade, especially Malfus.  It feels like a burden has been lifted from my shoulders, and my lungs have exhaled the stale air trapped in them.  I know why dad did it.  That’s just who he was.  He was a selfless person with a desire to protect – everyone.  I don’t hate him for being the man I loved.”

Her hands cover mine affectionately and tears parade around in her eyes.  “I’m glad to hear you say that.  Perhaps I don’t give you enough credit.”

Our moment of sharing is rudely interrupted by another knock at the door.  She giggles lightly as I reluctantly pull it open.

I take the basket and graciously excuse myself from the uninteresting man handing me a basket of vegetables.  I slide back into my seat and scowl at my laughing mother as I slap my head.

“They’re going to be relentless, aren’t they?”

“It appears so.  Maybe you should just enter a courtship with Kace and be done with all of this.”

I roll my eyes and shake my head.  His proposal of a fake courtship sneaks into my mind.  I quickly expel the thought as I growl at my mother.

“Must I continue to explain this to you?”

She laughs harder.  “There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to a guy who is very obviously attracted to you.”

Oh, I am so much more than attracted to him.  I’m full on desperate, hormonal, wild, and bat-shit crazy for that perfect piece of man.

I huff in aggravation for my unsuccessful attempts to prove her theory wrong – though it’s hard to convince her she’s wrong when I very obviously know she’s right, at least about me.

I can be honest about one thing though.  He likes to tease me, but he’s very outspoken about his desire to stay away from any binding commitment.

“He doesn’t want anyone.  I can swear to that.  Those girls last night were drooling over him like a ravenous pack of wild animals.  He could’ve had anyone he wanted… except for me… obviously.”

Not true.  I was on the menu last night too - not for courtship, but I’d gladly end my vow of celibacy.  I’m still on the damn menu.

She speaks quietly as she insincerely agrees with me in a mocking tone.  “Obviously.”

Relief floods me when the door to Helena’s room creaks open.  Thank goodness.  Someone please distract this probing, relentless woman!.

Harrison walks out sniffing for the coffee.

“Do you ladies mind if I grab a cup?”

My mother gets up and hands him a cup to pour it in.  Confusion riddles his face once his eyes adjust to being awake.

“Why is your forehead so red?  And where did all of these baskets come from?”  He looks around the room, taking in all the new additions.

My mother bursts out with her taunting laughter as the knocking returns.  I slap my forehead, answering Harrison’s first question.  His second question is answered as the newest suitor tries to woo me with his basket of fish.

I quickly dismiss him, using the same excuse I had all morning long.  Harrison shows no mercy as he laughs viciously while witnessing so many trying to dissuade me from choosing Kace.  I’m sure he plans to tell him all of the humiliating details when he sees him again.  It’s going to be a very exhausting day to say the least.

CHAPTER 8

JUST IN KACE

I’m so sick of random guys showing up at the door.  I managed to take a short nap, but it was tainted with blush-worthy dreams of Kace.

Johnny showed up to apologize for his rudeness, and I sent him home with several baskets of food.  I’m scared to go out of the house.  Every time I try, a guy from the Shaylan clan tries to follow me.

Helena had helped me relieve myself from the lingering curls, and my dark hair hung straight now.  I had decided not to pin it up.  I’m sure it had something to do with Kace saying he liked it down.

Ready to leave behind my pajamas, I grab a pair of jeans that fit me snugly and pull them on as soon as Harrison steps out.  I pull on a short sleeved, tight fitted red shirt that hugs my waist.  Then I slip into my brown leather boots that stretch up to my knees and tuck the legs of my pants inside of them.

Secretly I’m hoping this will be a look to turn Kace’s head.

I’m pathetic.  Where has my sanity gone?

It’s still warm, the lingering remnants of the latest fade.  I’m tired of being trapped in the hut, but I certainly don’t want more suitors chasing me around in front of the whole clan again.

I’d like to keep some of my reputation intact.  I prefer the men in my clan to be afraid of me.  I’m still stupefied that it has only enticed the warriors.

I pluck a pear from one of the many baskets that now litter almost every surface of my small hut.  I chew while I weave precariously through the clutter and make my way over to look out the window on the far side.

My mother is in the middle of a swarm.  The clan is still reeling from Jespin’s betrayal and attempted assault

Another knock makes my shoulders drop.  Damn they're relentless bastards.

With heavy hands, I open the door slowly, trying to psyche myself up to let another guy down gently.

The butterflies crash into the walls of my stomach, and I choke slightly on the piece of pear that wasn’t ready to be swallowed.

Kace is leaned against the doorframe bearing that come-get-me look.  His button down shirt hangs loosely in a way that forces my eyes to survey each inch of him.  The sleeves are rolled up again, exposing his perfectly toned forearms.

His pants hang with just the right amount of laziness, and the wind offers another peek as it blows against him.  Holy mother of pearl.   I’m definitely not going to survive the day.

Don’t giggle.  Don’t you dare giggle.  Shit.  I’m giggling again.

I quickly try to compose myself and the relief in my tone is more obvious than the desperate desire.

“Oh thank goodness.  I was worried you were going to be another one of your relentless members.”

His lips turn up in the most mouthwatering manner and he winks at me.  I’m going to need a doctor if these stupid chills and raging infernos don’t stop colliding.  This can’t be natural.

“So you’re happy to see me?”  Way to keep some mystery, Arena.  He teases, “Sorry, I forgot to bring a basket of food.  I brought you this instead.”

He hands me a handcrafted mahogany bow.  The intricate details captivate my eyes and my fingers started running over the grooves.  I’m lost in the incredible piece of art when a box appears in front of my face.

“What’s this?”

He smiles his full flashing smile.  “Open it.”

My eyes find the courage to break free from his hold as I pull the lid back.  Silver-plated, exquisitely balanced, and perfectly sharpened throwing knives are hiding inside the box.  They look brand new, not a worn spot or blemish on them.  The bow is just as pristine.

“Wow.”  I quickly hand the box and the bow back to him.  “I can’t accept these.”

He laughs as he puts them back in my hands.

“Yes you can.  They’re some of my favorites, but I don’t really use them anymore.  I figured they would be of more use to you.  You’ve been accepting stuff from the other blokes, so I think it should be okay for you to keep something from me as well.”

I narrow my eyes at him suspiciously.  “Why are you bringing me gifts?”

He laughs a little harder.  “Because I look like a total jerk right now.  I spoke to Harrison earlier when he rode in to pack some clothes.  He told me what all of my so-called friends were saying behind my back.  I decided to butter you up a bit since I have to hang out here for a while.  I don’t need you hating me.”

Hate is definitely not a word to explain the way I feel.  His thumb wipes the corner of my mouth where a stray piece of pear had obviously taken up residence. I want so bad to put that thumb in my mouth right now.

Grrr.  What is he doing to me?

I look back down at the beautiful new gifts, trying to shake free from the unnerving thoughts.  “Thank you.”

Those exciting, alluring, protective eyes dance mercilessly with their stare catching mine.  That smoldering, devilish look has given me no solace.  It has even been sneaking in to haunt my sleep, for even then I’m his willing prey.  I feel somewhat guilty for him having to stay, and I’m wishing more and more he wasn’t here with each surge of lusting desire spiraling out of control.

“Sorry about being so much trouble.  I don’t know why everyone is so worried.  I can handle things if something goes awry.”

He smirks and his I’m-going-to-drive-you-crazy smoldering tone emerges.  “I’m sure you could.”

Then his tone resumes to his more playful sound.  “But, you’re stuck with me so get used to it.”  He pauses to look around the room, finally seeing the ridiculous amount of baskets I’ve acquired since he was last here.

“Damn!  Has everyone in my clan come to see you?”

Harrison pokes his head in out of nowhere to interject.  “That’s not even half of them.  She’s been giving away baskets to everyone in the village.  These are just the ones she hasn’t gotten rid of yet.  I swear there’re more guys coming in than I knew we had.  Some have even made double trips.”

I blush slightly from the revelation of the unwanted attention.  Kace shakes his head in disbelief at the overwhelming multitudes of gifts.  He laughs almost nervously while rubbing the back of his neck.

“Well, you shouldn’t be complaining about anyone here being hungry again.”

I roll my eyes.  “Definitely not,” I mumble sarcastically.

I walk away to move some of the baskets to clear a path.  When I turn back around, I catch him staring at me in a different way – one that mimics the way I’ve been staring at him.

I try not to smile because I know I’m most likely overanalyzing the possibly meaningless stare.  He could just be impressed by how desired I appear to be – although I certainly don’t want them to keep persisting.

I hand him a basket as I give him a playful look.

“You got me into this mess, now you’re going to help me get rid of some of this.  I can’t hop around my home to get from one place to another.”

He looks at me peculiarly.  “I got you into this?  How did you come up with that math?  I’m pretty sure I’m not a variable in this equation.  I brought a bow and knives. You’re the one who announced the hunger problems.”

I smirk as I load him down with more baskets, careful not to let my fingers touch him.  The proximity to him is hard enough to bear – one touch of his firmly soft skin would surely send me over the edge.

“You said they wanted me more because they thought you wanted me – therefore we share the blame.  Fifty percent of this is your mess, so you can make some rounds with me.  Maybe I won’t have to worry about anyone chasing me through the village with you around.”

He moves his head to the side with dramatic curiosity beaming from his eyes.  “Has someone actually done that?”

Harrison bursts out laughing.  “Numerous times.  Herbert and Sid both followed her around begging her to spend five minutes with them.  Kellan and Morgan chased her at different times, and she barely escaped their grasps.  It has been nonstop comedy all day.  She’s been too scared to come out of the hut ever since.”

Kace chuckles lightly as he rolls his eyes.  “Unbelievable.  I can’t take credit for that madness.  I was just kidding about that anyways.”

“Well, nevertheless, you’re still going door to door with me.”

We distributed all of the baskets around to the very grateful people in the village.  As we make our way back to my hut, my shoulders drop and I bury my head in my hands in dismay while Kace laughs.  There are four more baskets lounging by the door.

He playfully teases, “Well that’s just pathetic.”

I look down to see various notes from strangers professing their undying love for me.  I shake my head as I sling them into the hut.

“This is never going to stop.”

“Just leave them.  I want you to try out your new toys.”

He walks by me to retrieve the beautiful presents he brought me.  He throws a quiver full of arrows over his shoulder, and clutches my presents under his arm while grabbing my hand.

A fiery tsunami has just attached every inch of my body.  I almost gasp.  His daring, smoldering, sexy-as-hell eyes clutch mine in a breathless gaze.  This is a path I’m not ready to go down.  I have to find a way to stay away from this piece of maddening sexiness.

I speak with an unexpected crackle that forces me to clear my throat.  “Where are we going?”

He smiles menacingly.  “My spot in the woods.  It’s private, and we can see how accurate these are.”

I pull my hand back slightly stunned.  “I’m not allowed to go in there.  Remember?”

He grabs my hand again, and once more, the contact is agonizing bliss.  “That’s never stopped you before.”

I wasn’t doing it to be a rebel; I was starving.  Maybe he thinks I’m really one of those bad girls that will do something just because they’re not supposed to.  Maybe that’s why he keeps giving me those teasing stares.  That’s not me.  I’m just Arena Clash – nothing especially enthralling or forbidden about me.

“That was only out of desperation to feed my family.  I don’t need to make Malfus mad right now.”

“Malfus overreacted the other day, and for a good reason.  There’s been someone setting traps throughout the woods, and he’s been worried about our safety.  One of the traps almost killed one of our guys just last week.”

“Who would be setting traps?”

“Beats me, but we’ve done several sweeps since then.  We’ve cleaned up all of the remaining traps we could find, and we’ve kept a closer eye on the area.  Not to mention, Malfus comes off as hateful and territorial, but he just doesn’t want anyone but the warriors going in there because it’s dangerous.

“When he first took over as chief, a young boy from the Heflin clan was playing in the woods.  He was struck by an arrow and barely survived.  It terrified Malfus to know how easy it would be for us to accidentally kill one of our own.  You think he’s callous, but he’s just cautious.”

I hadn’t known all of that.  Of course, I never thought to ask either.  Kace is very defensive of Malfus, and I feel out of sorts in this conversation.  I decide to shift it back with a lighter tone.

“So, where are you taking me?”

A lust exercising, wicked grin covers his face.  “I told you… my spot.”

His enigmatic smile is so freaking sexy, and I can’t fight the one now coming to my face.  I love his enthusiasm - almost childlike.  He takes my hand again and leads me into the woods.

We finally arrive at a beautiful, crystal clear pond.  The sunlight dances as though it's performing a ballet on the surface of the water.  Unfortunately, you can also see the reflective glow of the devil’s artwork.

I shiver slightly and shift my gaze.  The wind is making the rippling waves collide gently against the edge.  It’s amazing… all of it… including him.

I’ve never gone so far out before.  I usually stay close to my camp when I hunt.  Had I known something so beautiful was so close by, I might have dared to go a little further.

If I had known he was so close by, I would have been in trouble long ago.  Stop thinking about him!

I feel so at peace as I stare out at the magnificent hidden beauty, buried like a secret in the forest.

“Thank you for bringing me here.  It’s so amazing.”

I can see him smiling from the corner of my eye.  I look down, blushing slightly.  His tone isn’t smoldering, it’s silky smooth, but just as undeniably seductive when he talks.

“Grab your bow.  Let’s see how the arrows fly from it.”

I have no idea why those words sound so sexy when they come out of his mouth.  Of course, he could say, “let’s milk a cow” and it would sound sexy.

I shake off the unbidden thoughts once more and load an arrow.  I canvass the area for a willing target and spot a squirrel several yards out.  I slow my breath and feel the lightness of the bow making it easier to keep it steady.  Of course, I’m also very nourished today – I’m sure health is playing its part in my strength as well.

I finally free the arrow from the taut line, and the power of the bow’s first release is breathtaking.  The arrow zips through the air with graceful ease, never wavering, and strikes my prey with perfect execution.  I take a playful bow as he claps.

“Damn, you’re a good shot.”

“Thanks,” I mutter while blushing.

He smiles as he skips a rock across the surface of the pond, and I walk over to collect the squirrel.

“Well, how about trying out one of your new blades?” he asks when I return.

I pull out a knife and he walks over to a tree.  He carves an “X” in the side of it, and then rejoins me at my side.  It’s a very small target, and his lips are curved up in a boyish grin.

I test the weight of the magnificent knife and then fling it through the air.  I almost hear the wind groan in pain as it slices effortlessly through it and hits the mark dead center – right where the lines crisscross.

I smile victoriously and take another bow.  He isn’t clapping this time though.  His eyes are serious, and glued to mine with his come-get-me-now stare scratching the head of the beast inside me to wake it up.

I suddenly feel like I’ve just completed a twenty-mile marathon and can’t catch a breath.

Finally, one end of his mouth twitches and he lowers his eyes, releasing me from my torment.  Thank God!

I quickly stammer in an effort to break the awkward silence fogging up around us.  “So, how often to you visit your spot?”

He grins as he sees through the obvious diversion I’m deploying.  I haven’t developed very strong tactics in this area yet, considering I’ve never been in this area.  I only hope I can devise some semblance of a feasible strategy before my bumbling mouth tells him how badly I want him.

He shrugs.  “I stay too busy usually.”

I can hear the guilt pouring out of me.  “And now you’re stuck guarding me, even though I am perfectly capable of defending myself and my family.”

He laughs much harder than I had been prepared for.  “I’m not stuck doing anything.  I asked to guard you.  I really didn’t think you wanted all of the eager studs guarding you, and I haven’t really been out of the Shaylan camp too much lately.  Like I said, I stay too busy.  This forces me to relax a little.  I figured it was a win-win situation.”

“Definitely no eager studs.”  Just you.  “I would've already confronted Malfus if he had sent one of them – that's if I hadn’t already tried out one of my shiny new knives on them.”

He laughs even harder now.  “I honestly didn’t realize they were going to be that bad.”

I slap my head in disgust as I recount all of the unwanted visitors I was forced to endure.  I find myself trapped again when our eyes reconnect.  I quickly distract myself by forcing a new inquisition.

“So why don’t you just come out here when you hunt?  It seems like just as good a place as any.”

“I’ve never hunted out here.”

“Why?”

“The water source makes it too easy, and I prefer a challenge.”  He winks at me and his devilish smirk reinvades his face.

He thinks I’m a challenge.  That’s his game, eh?  That figures.  I’m so fucking stupid to think he really liked me.  You want a challenge?  I’ll give you a challenge.

My warm, girly tone has dissipated along with the fool’s grin that has been plastered on my face.  An icy chill enters my voice as I shift the subject once more.

“Did you talk to the studs yet?”

He seems a little perplexed by my quick flip from fire to ice.  You’re the one who’s after a damn challenge.

His eyes are so fucking hot.  Why does this have to be so hard?  He has just clarified he only seeks a challenge.  A challenge ends when the prize is won.  This will never be anything but intense eye-fucking.  Oh damn. I just said eye-fucking – although it is a pretty accurate depiction of what we’ve been doing.

Look away.  Look away.  Drat!  I can’t look away.

With tight lips, he finally responds.  “I did.  I told them you and I were not talking about courtship, but they refused to believe me.”

I roll my eyes, and my voice keeps the arctic chill alive.  “Did you tell them you weren’t interested in me at all in that way?”  I’m sure that wasn’t hard for him to do.

His eyes escape the contact mine could not.  He seems almost hesitant when he finally answers.

“Arena, this is-”

The conversation is brought to a horrifying halt when a bloodcurdling shrill sound attacks our ears.  My eyes attempt to focus on the black blur thundering toward us.  My heart pounds ferociously as I try to think fast, but everything is suddenly over as quickly as it began.

My breath is heavy and panting from the awakening adrenaline that has mercilessly pumped through me.  My legs quiver slightly from the terrorizing beast.  My brain finally assess that it was a boar that charged us.

Kace walks over and pulls one of my shiny new knives from the head of the beast.

My icy voice is replaced with a what-the-hell-was-that-all-about tone.

“I didn’t know those were out here.”

He sounds distracted as he continues to study the massive beast at his feet.

“They’re usually not.  This is the first time I’ve seen one out here.  It’s the same with the large cats.  There have been more and more of them showing up.  I need to go tell Malfus about this, and he may need to send a patrol to inspect the wall.  Someone will have to tie this thing to a horse and drag it out.  Come on, there could be more of them out here.  We need to head back.”

His hand hangs in the air, prompting mine to join it.  Against the wishes of every logical thought in my head, I accept it.

Our wall is supposed to be impenetrable.  It wraps around our couple hundred thousand acres, and acts like a protective shield against thieve and predators.

The thought of it being compromised unnerves me.  I’ve always had a sense of security, and now that’s quickly fading away

I’m actually furious that the beast caught me so off guard.  I was so busy being distracted by Mr. I Need A Challenge that I didn’t react like I always do.

Now I feel and look weak and pathetic - two of the most loathsome descriptions I can think of.  I detest the thought of being the damn damsel in distress.

He stays focused as we trek briskly through the woods.  I keep looking over my shoulder for a chance to redeem myself, but no such luck finds me in my time of need.

An enormous smile spreads over Malfus’s face as he walks up to meet us in the middle of the Shaylan camp.  Kace doesn’t acknowledge it.  He quickly briefs Malfus on the situation with the boar.

I’m stuck here, fidgeting awkwardly, wondering if I should walk away.  I dare not leave Kace’s side, though, because the guys have already started surrounding us, flashing their warning smiles.

I should have requested to go home instead of following him here.  What the hell was I thinking?

I fucking don’t think around him.

My mind goes blank, and I’m suddenly an eager breeder every time those beguiling blues find my hypnotized greens.  Oh, why does he have to be so insanely hot?

Malfus speaks to me, startling slightly.  I can only imagine the scowl that had been on my face during my inner argument with myself.

Yes, I’m arguing with myself because I’m fucking crazy now – no sanity left in me anywhere.

“You need to make sure the Tympest throw some extra wire around the crop fields.  If the boars get in there, that land will be unusable for years.  They’ll destroy every root and turn it to slush.”

I just nod.  Kace relieves me of my burden for lack of words around Malfus as he speaks in a less serious tone.

“I’m going to head over to the Helfin clan and see if they can send one of their blacksmiths to look at the girls’ stove.  There’re several cracks in it.”

Malfus smiles a larger more presumptuous smile now.  Kace notices it this time – evident by blushing cheeks.  He starts rubbing the back of his neck and shifting his weight from side to side.

Malfus teases, “We don’t need that now, do we?  The ladies of the Clash household should be properly cared for.  It’s good to see you taking an interest in such.”

Kace shakes his head, his embarrassment equaling mine.  Now I feel myself blushing as well.  Malfus stops his teasing and continues more seriously.

“Tell them I said to have someone over there first thing in the morning – it’s priority number one.”  Kace nods while still smiling before Malfus continues with, “Do me a favor while you’re there.  If you and Arena don’t mind, will you let the Heflin clan know we’ll be having a tribal party tomorrow?  As well as swing by the Grafflin clan?”

Kace’s scowl almost makes me laugh.  Mary is a member of the Grafflin clan, and I’m sure that’s the reason for the reluctance in his voice.

“Yeah, I’ll tell them.”

“With Arena by your side, I’m sure the Grafflin clan will be less likely to flog you.  Most of them are a little intimidated by her already.  Just hold her hand as you are now and they should leave you alone,” Malfus says through his chuckles.

Oh shit.  I forgot all about the handholding.  Apparently, he forgot too.  He had been leading me through the woods after the attack, but Malfus is confusing it for a romantic notion.  Damn, this is awkward.

We quickly drop our hands to our sides, both of us humiliated by the misconception.  I tighten my lips and squirm uncomfortably.

Kace smiles at Malfus while shaking his head again.  Malfus just chuckles, basking in our discomfort.

Kace suddenly walks away without any warning, leaving me alone with Malfus.  I glare at his back, and debate on whether or not I should run back to my clan.  I don’t want to be alone with Malfus.  This is … oh this pissing me off.

I can tell he’s just as uncomfortable with our being alone as I am – well, other than the looming goons doing their best to draw my attention to them.

They’re not within earshot of our conversation though.  It’s just Malfus, me, and over a decade of issues playing the part of fifty elephants in the room.  Malfus smiles and speaks to me with a voice soft enough to drop an egg on.

“Will you make sure your mother informs the Tympest clan?”

He’s not as personal or teasing now that we’re alone.  Oh, thank goodness.

“Yes, but why are we having the tribal party?”  See.  I can be civil – just like a grownup.

“It’s sad this seems so odd to you.  We used to have them regularly when you were a child.  When Justice ran the tribe.”  I wince noticeably at the mention of my father’s name.

So many wounds have just been opened up, and it feels as if I’ve just lost him all over again.

Malfus continues as if he hasn’t noticed my newfound pitiful look.  “He was always the one who dealt with the personal side of things.  I was always the business head of things.  When he…”  He pauses as he searches for the proper wording, apparently to no avail because he starts his sentence anew.

“Well, no one ever stepped up to take over that side of things.  I’ve been very neglectful, and far too unapproachable it appears.  This whole ordeal with your clan having starved for so long… well, it’s made me realize the depths of my shortcomings.  Someone should have felt able to speak to me about such matters.  I’m truly very sorry none of you did.”

“We’re certainly not starving right now,” I say dramatically with a hint of humor in an effort to lighten the heaviness.

Obviously, I did lighten the mood because he laughs so hard he grabs his side.

“So I hear.  Harrison tends to be quite the comedian.  He told us you had more food in your hut than your village had seen in months.  Kace wasn’t too thrilled with all of the unsavory comments being made about him though.  He made sure to let the boys know it was getting back to him.  They’re a little scared now.”

“They didn’t really say anything bad.”

I rest the tips of my fingers in my pockets in an effort to hide my trembling hands.  Talking to Malfus is uncomfortable enough.  Talking to Malfus about Kace is causing an ulcer to form.

I shouldn’t bear any resentment toward him, but dropping thirteen years of anger takes a minute.  It’s not as easy saying… oh, my bad.

I roll my eyes when the guys start wrestling like apes in a cage to gain my attention.  Malfus keeps his presumptuous smile, holding strong to his notion that Kace and I are more than what we claim.

“Kace is one of the best men I’ve ever known.  That’s why he’s my successor.  He’ll be a better chief than I’ve ever been.  I see many traits of your father in him.  These fools just don’t like the fact he has taken such an interest in you.  Most of them have been driving me crazy to get you back up here.  The tribal party should be rather interesting.”

His hand comes up to stroke his chin as he draws out every syllable in the word interesting.

He’s just as relentless as my probing mother.  Will no one accept the fact that it is what we say it is?  Oh, who am I kidding?  I don’t even know if it is what we say it is.

He’s so damn… confusing, frustrating, annoying, and … sexy as hell.  Get that girl-in-lust look of your face now!  You’re giving yourself away, Arena!

I quickly clear my mind of any and all thoughts of Kace so I can wipe my stupid grin off my face.  Malfus smiles and starts to speak, but a guy approaches us and bravely cuts him off.  He doesn’t seem to mind that Malfus is here – although, he may just be too dumb to realize it.

“Hey, Arena.  Did you enjoy my bread basket?”

My mind races.  Which one?  There were so many that I’m really drawing a complete blank.  I finally respond vaguely.

“Yes.  Everything was wonderful.  Thank you.”  Good girl.

Malfus chuckles a little at the obvious indifference I have.  I’m glad Mr. Dumb Dumb hasn’t caught on to the fact I have no fucking clue who he is.

Malfus smirks once more and walks away, leaving me alone with the wolves.  Damn you, Malfus!

I feel better knowing I now have a new reason to be pissed at him.  I scowl at his back, knowing damn well he can’t see me.  My eyes scour the camp, desperately seeking Kace as the sea of testosterone becomes overwhelmingly potent.

Each guy is asking if I liked their basket, and would I be interested in a horseback ride or a walk.  All of their bulging muscles are being shoved in my face as displays of their manliness – again, peacocks spring to mind.  I hate peacocks.

Finally I hear Kace coming back to save me.  Oh it’s about time, you son of a bitch.

“You guys are like a rabid pack of dogs.  I walk away for ten minutes, and you have the poor girl surrounded.”

I almost jump to him when he motions for me to come his way.  His hand slides up my back as it just barely grazes me.  The chills and fire collide in the most powerful, agonizing, wonderful, torturous way.

Yep.  Definitely going to have an ulcer.

We weave through the crowd of savages, and he leads me to the horses he has assembled.  I pull myself up on one before he has the opportunity to help me up.  He smirks as he climbs onto his.

“Kace!”  I look for the face that has called for Kace and see Julius forging a trail through the oafs, winded from his exertion to clear a path when he finally makes it to us.

“Did you get the stuff I asked for?”

Kace smiles.  “Yeah, I put everything on my dresser.  You know where the key is.”

I tilt my head in confusion.  Julius continues while the salivating scoundrels desperately try to lure my attention.

“Was there anything new today?”

“A few things, I helped myself to the best stuff.  I went ahead and got you some new leather bindings as well – my treat.  Your old ones were looking rough, and the Grafflin clan is still mad at you, so it’s not like they’ll make you any new ones.”

“The whole clan?”

Kace laughs at the innocence of Julius’s question.  I feel like I’m missing over half of the conversation.

“Can you blame them?”

Julius smirks and then shrugs.  “I guess not.  Where are the two of you going?”

His eyebrows move up and down, insinuating he thinks just like everyone else thinks.  I scowl at him and he nudges me playfully.  Julius is actually one mongrel I can tolerate.

Kace laughs again.  “We’re heading to the Heflin clan and then the Grafflin clan.  Want to come?”

Julius coughs out a laugh.  “You’re taking Arena to the Grafflin clan?  With you?”  He smirks and turns to me to continue.  “Well, babe, it’s been nice knowing you.”

Kace laughs incredibly hard this time.  I roll my eyes and try to kick him without falling off the horse.

“I’ll have you know I can handle myself just fine, thank you.”

Julius winks at me.  “Oh I bet you can.  I’m just wondering if you can handle a whole clan of hell-hath-no-fury scorned women.”

Kace flashes a very disapproving scowl, and Julius laughs a little harder.  “Keep him safe, Arena.”

We quickly set off on our tiny mission before any other interruptions can occur.  I feel like I need a bath thanks to the sweaty mongrel invasion.   Kace laughs as they all scream at me from a distance, professing their love and their preference in child gender.  Unbelievable.

Kace rides up beside me, and the horses slow their stride.

“I feel sorry for you tomorrow.  This party is going to be like letting a hen into the fox house.”

I roll my eyes.  “Thanks for the words of encouragement.”

My icy bravery has thawed thanks to the reignited flame.  Hot and cold is the understatement of the century.

His mouth is tempting me to taste his lips that look like their made of velvet – soft, plump, luscious folds of velvet.

I try to shake free.  Say something very nonsexual.  Do not say anything that offers innuendo!

“I thought the market took half a day of riding to reach.  How did you already go and come back?”

“The usual market is, but the nomad market was less than three miles away today.  One of their scouts came to inform us of their arrival.  They’re the only ones brave enough to travel with such merchandise, but they have some of the best scouts looking out for them and cleaning their tracks so thieves can’t stalk them.”

Good girl.  So far so good.  Just keep it nonsexual.

“So what did you get for Julius?”

Really?  That’s what you ask? How stupid am I for asking about something Julius requested in private.

Oh heaven only knows what that sex-demon wanted.  I said nonsexual, you idiot!  I quickly abandon my question.  “Never mind.  I don’t think I want to know.”

I know his cruel laughter is to mock my blushing face.  I almost want to turn the horse around and ride back to the Tympest camp.

“I know Julius has a reputation, but it wasn’t anything like that.  Besides, I wouldn’t get him anything for his private life even if he did ask me to.”

He pauses to bite into an apple, and I boldly decide to turn the tables.  I summon up every bit of the provocative minx inside me in order to give him a taste of his own medicine, but I make sure to sound as innocent as possible, despite my devious intentions.

“Well, you said you bought him some leather bindings.”

That’s right.  I went there.

Kace’s surprise is obvious when he suddenly starts coughing and choking on his apple.  He pounds hard against his chest to try to dislodge the stray piece of fruit.

I’m trying not to laugh hysterically as he struggles.  I’m not sure if his face is red because he’s blushing or strangling.  I like to think it’s because of both.  At last, the point has been awarded to me.

He finally manages to free his throat from the unexpected obstruction.  I’m almost biting my bottom lip in half to fight the grin.  He won’t even look at me when he finally answers.  Oh yeah.  I might even deserve two points for this one.

“The leather… bindings... are for his hands”

Another opportunity has just landed in my lap and I can’t resist.  “Yeah… I kind of figured that much.  Or, at least I assumed they were for someone’s hands.”

Again, he coughs in surprise, and I’m relishing every moment of his squirming.  This time I know he’s blushing.  One more point for me.  At this rate, I’ll level the playing field in no time.

“Like to be tied up, do you?” he murmurs, suddenly taking away all of my momentum as a teasing grin finds his perfect lips.

Damn!  One point to Mr. Smartass.

My cheeks burn now.  Why did I think I could play this game with him?  I should have stuck to the nonsexual plan, or at least quit while I was ahead.

Well, it’s too late to turn back now.  Act indifferent, not flustered!

“I don’t know.  Never tried it.”

His eyes widen in surprise once he realizes I’ve called his bluff.  Go me!

He keeps his head front as he speaks with a rigid tone.  “Well, the bindings are used on his hands for sparring.  His recreational fancies are of no concern of mine.  You have to bind your hands so that-”

I decide to finally put him out of his misery and finish the sentence for him.

“So that one’s knuckles and hands don’t suffer from the repeated beatings.  It keeps them safe, allowing for fewer cuts, bruises, and fractures.  Yes – I’m perfectly aware of what the bindings are for.”

He finally turns to face me, and my smile is almost too big for my face.  He almost seems impressed and bewildered at once.

“So you were just joking with me the whole time?  You knew exactly what they were for.”

I smile even bigger, even though it seems impossible to do.  “Yes.  I actually do know how to joke, believe it or not.  It was fun watching you squirm.”

The laughter I fought to contain finally rips free.

He shakes his head and laughs too.  “Unbelievable.”  He laughs a little harder before continuing.  “Anyways, Julius just wanted me to grab him some glue, paper, and a canteen.  He doesn’t get along too well with the Heflin, and since those are things fall under their manufacturing category, he usually has to find it elsewhere.”

I tilt my head.  “Well that’s not very secretive.”

His grin is menacing.  “I never said it was.  You just like to assume the worst.”

I roll my eyes.  “So why doesn’t Julius get along with the Heflin clan or Grafflin clan?  How is it even possible for an individual to make enemies with two clans?”

His eyes give me a look that says this-is-Julius-what-do-you-think-happened.  I answer my own question aloud.

“He slept with too many girls from the same clan – both clans – and they all figured it out.”

Kace touches his nose to let me know that I’m spot on.  I laugh slightly.

“You seem oddly at ease with Julius despite his brave indiscretions.  You even seem to like him,” he murmurs curiously, as though he’s poking for a hearty answer.

“I wouldn’t say I like him necessarily.  Julius is like a fungus you can’t get rid of.”

“A fungus?”

“Yes.  A fungus.  He grows on you, and you just learn to tolerate him.  Besides, he was always good to my sister.  What he does now that they’re not together is his own business.”

“Yeah… I’ve heard quite a bit about their relationship,” he mumbles almost too low for me to hear, seeming uncertain if he should comment any further.

“I know the story, and I know that’s why he doesn’t mess with any girls from the Tympest clan.  He doesn’t want Helena to hear about all of his sexploits, even though she still hears.  He would probably die if he knew that she knew.”

Kace nods.  “Yeah… how about we keep that between us?”

I smile and nod back.  Our conversation ends when I see a man approaching us.  I hadn’t even realized we were already at the Heflin camp.

Kace hops off the horse, and I follow his lead.  The man approaching us speaks very warmly, as if he knows Kace.

“Well I’ll be.  Kaceton Brice.  It’s been ages since I saw you or your mother.  How is she?  Is she still with that brute?”  Well, this guy isn’t trying to keep it a secret that he’s hot for Kace’s mom.

Kace laughs.  “She’s doing great, and she’s still very happily married to Joe.”

I just snicker slightly.  The guy is less than enthusiastic with that little tidbit.  His eyes turn to me, and his mouth gapes open in surprise.  I fidget uncomfortably under his oddly, possibly enamored gaze.

“You have to be a Clash girl.  Only Meredith’s daughter could be so effortlessly beautiful and only Justice could have a daughter who carries herself with such confidence.  I know you’re not Helena, so you have to be Arena.”  He sighs in disbelief, acting as though I’m a unicorn.  He finally resumes.  “I haven’t seen you since you were a child.  You have grown into a beautiful woman.”

I thank him very awkwardly.  Then he continues with a more comical tone.

“My niece has spent all day behind the wood shed throwing a hatchet because of you.  I heard of how you blew everyone away with your debut banquet.  It’s about time these girls focus on more than finding a husband.  I’m pretty happy about it myself.”

Kace laughs hard enough to embarrass me further.  He had said numerous times every girl would be working on her weaponry skills.  I force a smile, trying to mask how incredibly awkward I feel.  I’m not used to people doting on me, and I’ve had my fill of it the past two days.

He finally tells him about the stove and the party.  We bid him a quick farewell, and saddle back up.

There’s a vast field in front of us.  I’m sure it’s for the cotton.  I can already see smoke rising from the chimneys.  The two clans are not far apart at all.  We’re completely ostracized from everyone.

I only assumed there would be more distance between these two clans.  I had planned on grilling Kace a little more.

Kace rides up to be closer to me, and his look is almost pouting.  Oh, he’s so freaking hot no matter what look is on his face.

I need a drink.  This is too much.  I’ve spent way too much time alone with him now.  I’m supposed to be liking him less, not more.

“You had best not leave my side.  I don’t want to deal with all of the gigglers today.”

I scowl at him.  “I was left alone with the mongrels thanks to you.”

He shrugs innocently.  “I left you with Malfus.  How was I to know he would abandon you?”

“I think retribution is in order.  Perhaps Mary would like to hear about how totally bewitching you find her to be.”

His playful anger is making my blood boil in the most delicious way.  “I may tell Frank you were just trying to sound strong, but you really need a shoulder to cry on in your time of need.  Then I might just tell the rest of the boys you need more baskets of food.  Are you sure you want to play this game?”

“Touché.”   He’s good.  Damn, he’s good.  I quickly start a new topic before time expires.  “So why didn’t you ever come to the Tympest camp before?”

He smiles sheepishly as he responds with a humorous tone.  “Well, Harrison always volunteers to pick up the crops and drop off the other supplies – for obvious reasons, of course.  Malfus usually goes as well.  I usually go to the Grafflin camp to pick up the clothing, shoes, and other fabrics and drop of supplies.”

Now I can hear the teasing tone pouring out like liquid.  “So you secretly have a thing for Mary, and you have been finding a way to come see her?”

He laughs and then answers me with such sincerity.  “Yes.  I know it sounds crazy, but I do care for her.”

The laughter in my voice vanishes from the unexpected revelation.  Suddenly I’m sick at my stomach.  What the hell?  I didn’t think he liked her.

Jealousy suddenly pushes lust to the side and takes over, quickly joined by disappointment.  I’m so fucking stupid.

“Oh.”  That’s all I can manage.

He laughs incredibly hard.  “No.  I don’t have a thing for Mary in the least bit.”  He shakes his head while continuing with a more explanatory tone.  “My mother lives in the Grafflin camp.  My stepfather, Joe, is the chief.  He took over about five years ago when Chief Timber passed away.”

Oh, thank goodness.  I can’t believe I got so worked up at the thought of him with another girl.  A new breath enters my lungs and my body relaxes.

Jealousy and disappointment bury themselves back down deep, and relief fills their void.  He’s looking at me with a grin that lets me know he’s seen my body physically react to his teasing.  Damn it.  Distract him.

“So you grew up in the Grafflin camp?”

“No.  I lived in the camp for a year when I was fourteen.  When I turned fifteen, Malfus recruited me, and my mother and I moved up to the Shaylan camp.  She met Joe while she was there, and they made it official at one of the engagement banquets.  He had been in love with her for months, but she hadn’t accepted his relentless requests for courtship.  Then, at the banquet, another girl was fighting for his attention.  My mother found herself jealous, and the rest is history.”  Yes, I’ve just tasted jealousy and it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.  No wonder she dug her heels in.  “They were married shortly after the banquet.  Now, she couldn’t be happier.”

“So what happened to your father?”

Oh crap.  Is that too personal?  His face doesn’t change.  It’s almost as if he’s deliberately ignoring my question.

He winces slightly as we hear the shrill, deafening screams of the Grafflin girls.  He leans over and speaks like a frightened child too scared to be alone in the dark.

“We have to get me out of here in one piece.  Please don’t leave my side.”

I laugh slightly as they flock to him.  He climbs off his horse as do I, and his hand instantly becomes intertwined with mine.  The reaction from the girls is priceless as they all gasp in disbelief.

I desperately fight the smile tugging at my lips, and I’m proud when I succeed.  I look at him curiously only to see a devious smirk appear on his face.  I’m really starting to think he enjoys making the fire explode in me.

It’s all I can do not to throw myself at him when there’s physical contact.

“You heard what Malfus said.  It seems to be working so far.  They’re falling back.”

I pull him closer so I can speak in whisper, and because the temptation to be closer to him is almost overwhelming.  He bends down to put his ear just inches from my mouth, and the animal instincts inside me stir wildly.

It takes all of my strength not to give in to the temptation and put my lips anywhere on his body.  My breath is heavy against his face, and I forget what I what I was going to say.  Think, you fool.  He waits patiently, and finally the words return.

“Yeah, so they can devise a scheme to be rid of me.”

He laughs as he straightens back up and clutches my hand tighter – as if comforting me.  Mmm... How I wish he was feeling the torment of this the way I am.  I long to feel repulsed by his touch, but all I can feel is desire – fiery, hot, melting desire.

Oh, I hate myself more by the minute.  I’m barely a shadow of my normal self when I’m around him.

“Kaceton!”  A woman’s voice jars me out of my self-loathing moment.  I look up to see a stunning woman with long, raven hair spiraling in perfect curls.

I lean over to whisper again as she closes the gap between us.  “I thought everyone called you Kace.”

“They do.  The only ones who call me Kaceton are people cross with me, people informal with me, and-”

She reaches us before he can finish.  Her eyes flicker with love and excitement.  I’m starting to feel awkward holding his hand now.  She seems very familiar with him, and she’s absolutely gorgeous.  My spirits quickly lift though when she speaks.

“There’s my boy.”

Kace speaks in a normal tone as he finishes his abandoned sentence.  “And my mother.”  He gives me a wink that makes me shiver.  Damn he’s killing me.

Her eyes zoom in on me and a menacing smirk invades her face.

“Well, I’m apparently a little out of the loop if you’re holding a girl’s hand.”  She looks back at him and her eyes narrow.  “Why is this the first I’m hearing about a courtship?”

I smile at his scolding.  It’s nice to see him humanized.  He’s seemed far too perfect since we met.  He shakes his head, trying to suppress the goofy childlike grin.

“I’m trying to keep the hens at bay.  It appears to be working.”

She laughs with skepticism gleaming in her eyes.  He points to me while making introductions.

“This is Arena Clash.  We’re not in a courtship, although it does seem more appealing to consider now that I see the effect it’s having on these girls.”

She laughs a little harder as I elbow him in the ribs.  He rubs them slightly with his free hand as he smiles at me.  She turns to examine me a little better now that she’s been filled in properly.

“Arena Clash.  Well I’ve certainly heard about you.  Although, you don’t look quite as hideous as Mary described you.  I happen to think you are absolutely stunning actually.”

Kace is laughing now, no doubt enjoying the hot seat I’ve landed in as she makes me blush.

“Thanks.  It’s nice to meet you.”

“I can only imagine how incredible you must have looked when you were all dressed up.  At least I know why my son finally decided to dance at a banquet.  I worked really hard to teach him to dance, and he refused to engage in any such.  I heard he didn’t stop dancing last night though.”

Wow.  Kace’s cheeks beam that sweet, candy red color once more.  I’ve officially seen Kace blush at least twice today – still not certain if the strangling/blushing incident counts.  He narrows his eyes at her.

She smiles at him a moment longer, and then we’re rudely interrupted by more shrill screams.  Oh, damn it.  Damn it.  Damn it.  It’s Mary.

“Kace!  I knew you would come today!  I’ve told everyone we had such a good time at the…”

Her voice trails off as she suddenly fathoms my presence.  Her eyes cut to our intertwined hands, and Kace gives me a light squeeze.

Oh this is going to be brutal.

She scowls at me with contempt and her hands are almost trembling with fury.  I fight back the overwhelming urge to smile.  Kace gently releases my hand to put his arm around me.  And oh my damn, it sends even more delectable chills through me, followed by the glorious blaze.

He speaks so casually, despite the very tense air.  “Sorry, Mary.  I need to show Arena around, and I have some things to discuss with my stepfather.  Some other time though.”

The sheer hatred in her eyes isn’t masked in the least.  She looks even madder than the night before, but I had won that battle.  I doubt very seriously she’s brave enough to approach me in such a manner again.

I’ll gladly make good on my word if she does.

His mother pulls me to the side while Kace and his stepfather engage in conversation about the tribal party.  Her voice is nearly a whisper, and I feel like she’s pumping me for information that doesn’t exist.

“So, Mary told me you danced with my son for most of the evening at the banquet.”

I smirk slightly as I glance toward the still scowling Mary.  It’s almost tempting to giggle out my victory.  I turn back nodding, trying to not sound giggly in my tone.

“Yeah.  It was mostly to deter the other boys from approaching me, and it didn’t hurt that the girls left him alone.  It seemed to work out for the both of us.”

Her eyes tell me how very unconvinced she is.  “My son doesn’t involve himself in any sort of social activity such as dancing.  He tends to distance himself from any precarious situations among the girls inside these walls.  Then on top of that, he walks in holding your hand.  So you can understand my confusion.”

She’s definitely digging for something more than just dirt.  She wants details and there aren’t any.  I can’t exactly say, “no, there’s not a courtship.  I just enjoy eye-fucking your son, and fantasizing about having his softly firm skin in my mouth.  Oh yeah… and he’s making me bat-shit crazy.”  Get it together, Arena.

I quickly wrestle to free mind from the dark place it has gone and pull off as much sincerity as possible while I deny any feelings for her son.

“He was just helping me out, and like I said, it helped him out too.  There’s nothing more than that going on.  I promise.”  Well, that’s almost true.

She laughs slightly as she speaks with a hint of condescension.  “Oh dear, you really are so sweet.  My son has never had a problem turning any of these girls away.  They’ve been in love with him since he was fourteen, Mary especially.  He doesn’t need someone holding his hand or dancing with him in order to keep his distance.  I’ve heard quite a bit about you – none of which profiles you as the needy type either.  I’m sure you could both get yourself out of any situation without the help of each other.  But if you insist on sticking to your story, I will respect it.”

Awkward is an understatement for what I feel now.  Is there more going on between us?  He’s so complicated.  He’s been very vocal about not wanting me that way, but then he flirts with me while giving me his get-naked look.

If she only knew how confused I already was – this has just made it all the worse.

I look over to see Mary carrying a knit sweater, her eyes set on Kace.  I mock a gagging reflex to his mom as Mary carries on about how hard she worked on the tedious details.  His mother covers her mouth so as not to reveal her smile and silent laughter.

Kace’s eyes shoot toward me with a where-the-hell-are-you look, and I cross my arms, acting as if I have no intentions of freeing him from his hormonal prison.

The other girls swoop, as if on cue, and start showering him with the treasures they have made for him as well.  His mother’s silent chuckle escalates to one with sound.  She can’t help it.  She casually leans over to offer one more tidbit of awkwardness.

“It’s good to see him bonding with a girl, even if it isn’t the way I had hoped.”
Damn.  I’m starting to think she, my mom, and Malfus are conspiring against us.  They’re all on the same page.

My eyes shift back over to Kace who is now drowning in an ever-growing pool of estrogen.  I laugh as I whisper playfully.

“I better go save him.  He’s saved me once to day.  I suppose I owe him.”

Her disbelieving smirk reappears.  “I suppose so.”  She’s still obviously suspicious.

I start shoving aside the prissy hens as I make my way through the radical flock and yell very obnoxiously loud.

“All right ladies, step aside.  Coming through.  Give the boy some breathing room.”  I can hear numerous snorts of derision and grumbling growls as I grab Kace’s hand.

Kace laughs as I help him weave through the superfluous crowd of eager breeders.  We quickly go to mount the horses before the girls have time to regroup.

His mother runs up before our feet hit the stirrups to climb atop, and she throws her arms around her son.  I’m given another opportunity to see him blush yet again.

I’m really enjoying the chance to see him in his world.  It makes him a little less intimidating, but I’m worried he’s only intriguing me all the more.

She smirks wickedly as she hands me a brown package.  I look at her peculiarly, unsure why she’s giving me a … present… or something.

She glances at Kace and then back to me with her menacing intentions still vague but obvious at the same time.

“This is for you, Arena Clash, daughter of Justice and Meredith Clash.  I never knew your father, but I’ve always adored your mother and sister.  It would give me great honor to bestow you with a gift.”

I nod and graciously accept the secretive brown package.  “Thank you Mrs.…”  Oh shit!  I don’t even know her name!  She’s married to Joe… What the hell is his last name?  Fuck!  How can I not know her name?

She laughs.  “It’s Kirkland, but please call me Abigail.  I suppose you two have a great deal to learn about each other.”

“Mother,” Kace exasperates.

His voice is so adorable right now – embarrassment, childlike awkwardness, and annoyance all bundle together for such a… oh hell – it’s sexy too.

Abigail doesn’t even acknowledge her son’s protest as she continues with her teasing tone still intact.

“I may not ever have the opportunity to see Kaceton in the company of a young woman again.  I would like to savor this moment while it lasts.”

Kace’s shoulders drop and he buries his embarrassed face into his hands.

“Thank you Mrs. Kirkland… I mean… Abigail.”

I’m unexpectedly snapped forward by her embrace.  I’m almost shy when I step back.  I’m not really the hugging type.

We finally hoist ourselves on top of the horses.  Hmm… I can feel folds of fabric.  I can’t sew, so I hope…  Oh shit!  I bet it’s a dress.  Fuck!

I hate dresses.  Drat.  Why does she have to be so nice?  Now I’ll have to wear the damn thing so that I’m not perceived as rude or ungrateful.  Crap.

CHAPTER 9

UNEXPECTED EMOTIONS

“Arena?  Are you ready yet?”

My mother yells as though she’s a hundred miles away instead of the room right next door.  I’m using her room to change since my room is part of the kitchen and living area.

I sigh with such uncertainty straggling my exhaled breath as I stare at the unfamiliar girl in the mirror.  Abigail had surprised me with a very form-fitting, sleek and elegant black dress to wear to the party – and when I say form-fitting, I mean skin tight, showing every hint of the curves I wasn’t even aware I had.

I warily study the very long slit in the dress that rises up my leg to nearly meet my hip.  Damn that’s high.  One more inch and … well I wouldn’t have too many secrets left.

To call it showy would be a respectable description.  I groan as I stare at yet another revealing slit.  It starts at the neckline and journeys all the way down the middle and stops just below my navel.  A small metal clasp under my breast is all that connects the sides together.  One slip of that little clip and I’m going to have one seriously humiliating wardrobe malfunction.

It’s completely sleeveless and halters at the back, leaving my poor back and arms barren, devoid from any fabric.

I have to focus on something other than this fabric that looks to have lost a war with a pair of scissors.  I haven’t ever worn something so… revealing, I’m the only one who has seen me and I’m already embarrassed.  I can’t imagine how I’m going to feel when everyone else can see me too.

Focus on something else, Arena!  Shoes!  Yes, look at the shoes.

The black shoes are a little thicker than the thin soled white shoes I was forced to wear to the engagement banquet.  Well that was a short distraction.  My eyes are already staring back in the mirror at the ridiculous amount of skin showing.

It’s completely justifiable to feel reluctant about wearing such an exposing ensemble, given the results of the last dress I wore that was far less revealing.

My sister insisted on curling my hair again – just as tormenting as the last time – but this time she pinned up one side, leaving all the curls falling on my right shoulder like a draping curtain.  I feel too… pretty.  I hate this.

I finally answer my mother with more uncertainty than I mean to divulge.

“Yeah.  I think I’m ready.”  No.  Hell no I’m not ready to go anywhere looking like this.

Dread rattles around in my voice as I continue, and my green eyes grimace with sheer dread.

“Would it be rude of me to not wear this dress?  I know she intended for me to wear it tonight, but I really don’t feel comfortable in it.  I would prefer to wear my pants actually.”

My mother gasps as she walks in to see me in my new and barely-there attire.  She covers her smiling mouth with both of her delicate hands and her voice is so soft.

“You look absolutely stunning.”

“Don’t say that like it’s a good thing.  I don’t want to look stunning.  I’m sick of the lovesick studs chasing me around like I’m some sort of prize.  I want things to go back to the way they were before the engagement banquet - before I go mad.”  And I want to forget about Mr. Sexy As Hell too.

She laughs a little, drawing my scowl to a surface.  Now she sounds almost comedic.

“Well, those boys are going to be climbing the walls when they see you tonight.  I can’t wait to see the look on Kace’s face.”

Shit!  Even the mention of his name causes the chills and fire to surge violently, colliding against each other with an unbalancing affect.  I try to force the conviction I know I lack.

“For the last time, Kace is the only one not driving me mad.”  Well, he’s driving me mad on a completely different level, but she doesn’t need to know that.  “He doesn’t want a courtship, and neither do I.”  I just want to throw myself at him and do a naked tango in the sheets.  Oh crap, this is going to be so bad.

Certainty finally finds its way to the surface.  “I should change.”  Yes, definitely change.

She grabs me before I start to unzip the back – the zipper is starts just above my rear, which is also barely covered.  She glares at me very disapprovingly and twitches her finger no.

“Yes, it would be rude to not wear the dress.  I’m sure Abigail put a lot of thought into picking out that dress.”

“She didn’t put enough thought into it if you ask me.  If she knew me at all-”

Mom interrupts my statement with more than a hint of agitation in her tone.

“She doesn’t know you.  She knows your sister.  You have been an antisocial hermit until this week.  You shouldn’t expect so much from people.  Just wear it and be appreciative.  It’s rare for her to hand out such a marvelous gift.  I honestly don’t know if I’ve ever heard of her doing such.  You should really show more gratitude and less attitude, young lady.”

Young lady?  Yikes.  She only uses that term of not-so-endearment when she’s really pissed.  Her eyes glare at me with obvious disapproval to embellish her scolding.

“Fine.  I will wear the dress, but I’m wearing my knives under it this time.  No compromises.”  My eyes hold steady against the Mom-glare-of-death – which is no easy feat.  I’m actually very proud of myself.

She shakes her head in a disapproving manner.  “Just don’t wear them on the side that has the split.  That would just be humiliating.”

I nod, hiding my victorious grin, while grabbing my blades.  She intentionally makes sure I hear her huffing on her way out the door.

I resume my staring in the mirror.  The sun has just started to threaten its light, warning us that it’s almost time to go.

I haven’t seen Kace since he dropped me off yesterday afternoon and it’s killing me.  I thought distance would make things easier, not impossibly painful.

I’m so fucking crazy because of him.  I want to scream so badly right now, and rip these stupid curls from my hair.

I thought he was going to stay with me, but Malfus needed him to lead the boar hunt.  That bastard.  Damn, what’s wrong with me?

I was beyond pissed to learn that Kace left Frank in charge of keeping me safe.  Harrison was beyond pissed after having exhausted himself trying to keep Frank safe from me.

So many times I almost threw something at his head.  He drove me crazy all day with his incessant begging for courtship.  I told Kace he would pay for making him stay with me, and he promised Frank would not torture me.

That lying ass.  I can’t wait to inform him on how gravely wrong he was.

We walk out to meet Harrison and Frank.  As soon as his mouth opens, I cringe.  I’m not even attempting to hide my disgust anymore while he sings my praises.

“Oh my.  Arena, you look as if an angel has kissed you and bestowed the beauties of heaven upon you.  I’ve never felt so breathless in my whole life.  If wars could be fought, they would be fought over beauty such as this.”

I fight the urge to gag and stab him as Harrison snickers at my dismay.  I quickly shoot him a nasty look and he shrugs innocently.  What an ass.

Helena joins him in his quiet snickering, and I just roll my eyes.  Birds of a fucking feather… I swear.

“Hey, Arena!  I just-”  I turn to face voice calling my name, and smile when I see it’s Johnny.

He pauses slightly when he catches a glimpse of the revealing garment I’ve been forced to wear.  He swallows hard, and makes no attempt to mask his surprise and awe.

“Wow.  I didn’t know it was even possible for you to look so…Wow.”

I shove him playfully as speak sardonically.  “Thanks.  As if I don’t have enough drooling goons looming around.  You’re supposed to be the normal one around here.”

He just half smiles at my comment before speaking with more seriousness.  “Well, what can I say?  I’m still a guy.”

He stares at me as if he’s trying to remember what he came to say.  I wave my hand in front of his eyes to bring him out of his trance.  His eyes blink rapidly several times before he speaks with a hint of nervousness – which is odd for him.

“I was coming to see if you wanted to head up with me.  I was planning on leaving a little later.  I figured since it’s a campout, we could get there just before nightfall.  I thought you might want to avoid the goons a while longer.”

“Thanks but I can’t.  Mom has to be there early.  All the heads of the clans have been asked to be there from start to finish.  Malfus is claiming to be committed to reuniting our clans again.  He doesn’t like the way we’ve all strayed from each other.  I think it’s actually a good idea.  I’m going up there to help her out.  I’ll just have to deal with the rest.”

And I can’t wait until almost nightfall to see Kace.  It’s been unbearable to go this long.  Oh good grief, I’m ridiculous – absolutely fucking ridiculous.  Please God, let these feelings pass.  I hate riding this girly wave.

“I’ll see you up there though.  I might even teach you how to dance,” I tease him slightly.

Johnny looks disappointed by my rejection.  Though his tone is supposed to be humorous, I can tell it’s forced.

“I actually already know how to dance.  I’m surprised you do though.”

I laugh as I shove him again.  “I do have some girl-like attributes, thank you very much.”

He stares at me with an odd expression as he quietly responds with an eerie seriousness.  “Yeah.  I’m starting to notice that more and more these days.”

I tilt my head with slight confusion.  Before I can respond, my mother walks up smiling.  She’s dressed up a little nicer than she normally is.

I’m sure it has something to do with the attention Malfus has been paying her – and the fact she no longer has to act indifferent to him.  I don’t necessarily like the closeness they’re starting to have, but I do like seeing my mother happy again.  It would be selfish to spoil that for her.

She smiles enthusiastically as she speaks with such a chipper tone.  “Alright, let’s get going.”  She turns to Johnny.  “Are you going with us?”

He shakes his head and steps back with one hand in his pocket.  He still seems a little disheartened.

“No.  I’m coming up closer to nightfall.  I have some things to do around here.”

She nods in acceptance of his answer.  Then she speaks with caution implied.

“Please don’t wait too late.  No one is allowed in the woods after nightfall until we find out where the larger beasts are coming in from.  The great wall around our tribe has to have a hole in it somewhere.

“There’s so much land to cover, and they haven’t been able to find it yet.  That’s why we’ll be camping out tonight.  Please don’t miss it either.  I really want all of our clan to be in attendance.  It means so much to me to be having this party.  Justice was always so passionate about these gatherings.  It feels like we are paying him tribute.”

“I’ll be there.  I promise,” he mutters.

Her smile is starting to make my face hurt.  She puts her hands together in an excited manner and her tone is almost electrified.

“Well, let’s go.”

My eyes instantly start canvassing the camp for Kace the moment we arrive.  It’s an involuntary reflex and it’s pissing me off.  My eyes never give me any reprieve from their tireless searches anymore.

Disappointment quickly floods me with all of its arrogance when my eyes see everyone but Kace.

He has to be here.  It’s the tribal party after all.

Oh!  I want so badly to slap myself for acting like such a fool.  I sigh in frustration as I separate from my family, still looking for Mr. Missing In Action.

I make my way to the banquet hall we dined in earlier that week.  Voices coming from the back room draw my attention.  As I draw closer, I realize it’s Kace and Harrison.

Oh, damn it.  I have to stay and listen.

I creep quietly to the closest, and I edge to the crack I leave in the door in order to eavesdrop.

Harrison is laughing at something Kace has apparently said.  My heart almost does a back flip into the pit of my stomach when I hear that incredible voice sounding from Kace.

“So how did Arena and Frank do?”

Harrison sighs loudly in mock exasperation.  “Well, Frank hounded her every single minute.  He kept telling her stuff like ‘you’re the most amazing girl I’ve ever seen’, and ‘every time I look at you, I know we are meant to be together.’  I had to stop her from throwing a few things at his head.  I didn’t get to her soon enough one time.  She tripped him, and he fell into a mud puddle.  Then she walked across his back to force his face into the mud a little harder.  I was worried she was going to drown him before I could pull her off him.  He gargled mud a good thirty seconds before she released him. Frank just chased her around that much more.  It truly was exhausting.  I think you should find someone a little less pathetic to take your place next time.  I’m so drained, and I didn’t get to spend hardly any time with Helena today.”

Kace laughs slightly before responding.  “I owe you one.  Julius had to come with us, and let’s face it; Frank was the only one we didn’t need today.  You’re just lucky you had the day off – although it sounds like you would have had more of a day off if you had been on the hunt.”

“Agreed.”

Kace laughs a little more.  “I told him not to do that, and he swore he wouldn’t.  I had to go on that hunt though.  I knew Malfus wanted me there.”

Kace’s tone changes quickly, and my heart tap dances on my bladder as lady lust surges to the surface.

“Where is she now?”

I cringe slightly.  Shit!  What if they catch my spying?  I step back into a small closet a little more.

Harrison answers the question with such casualness.  “She’s around back with the others.  She’s wearing the dress your mom gave her.”

Kace seems intrigued now.  “Oh.  How does it look?”  Oh… he’s asking about me!

“Well, it’s definitely not something I would have expected your mom to pick out.  Poor Frank nearly hyperventilated when she walked out in it.”

Kace laughs again.  I love the sound of his laughter.  “Well I need to go finish up some things back at my cabin.”  Finish up what?  He doesn’t want to see me?  I’m so fucking stupid.

Oh crap!  They’re coming!

I quickly and quietly withdraw from the edge before they can spot me.  They’re still talking, but I can’t hear what they’re saying anymore – just muffled sounds colliding against each other in the massive banquet hall.

I can’t believe I’m frigging hiding in a closet to spy.  I’ve officially reached an all time low.

I had almost sprinted up the hill to find him, and he’s completely indifferent to being in any sort of hurry to see me.  Why did I think he liked me?  I knew better.  Why do I like him?  This is absolute torture.  I slap my head as I whisper aloud.

“Oh good grief.  I’m officially a pathetic eager breeder.”

I wait until I’m certain it’s safe and creep out of my shameful hiding place.  I don’t know why I just acted like such a hopeless, mindless fool, but now I’m pissed at myself… and him too.

He doesn’t seem at all concerned with my presence, and I’m chasing him around.  I was even hiding in a closet to hear his conversation.  I mumble to myself again as I walk back out to where everyone has congregated.

“Definitely pathetic.”

Frank walks up to offer me a glass of wine.  I almost rip it from his hand and keep walking.  I grab a bottle of it from a picnic table and keep walking, not missing a beat.  I guzzle the wine as quickly as I can pour it into the glass.

I’m starting to feel the warmth spreading throughout my body, and it’s exactly what I need.  I’ve never drunk enough to get drunk, but I have every intention of remedying that right now.

I guzzle down my fourth glass and find myself disappointed it hasn’t taken any effect yet.

I feel a hand wrap around my waist, and the smell of a friend engulfs me.  I roll my eyes, knowing it’s Julius.  .

“Well, I didn’t know dresses like that even existed.  You know Kace is going to flip his lid when he sees you.”

I scoff.  “Kace isn’t in any kind of hurry to see me.”  I can’t believe how childish I sound.

Julius laughs.  “Well, you obviously didn’t spend the day with us.  We’ve all been in a hurry to see you.”  He elbows me playfully.  “We had just finished hunting when you guys got here.  We were absolutely disgusting.  Kace was the worst of us because he killed three of the five boars we found today.  He should be out soon.”

I roll my eyes again, and try not to sound as heartbroken as I foolishly feel.

“I heard he was going to his cabin to do some stuff.  Like I said, he’s not in a hurry to join this stupid party.”

Julius seems amused by my tone as he removes his arm from around my waist and moves to be in front of me.

“You really do like him, don’t you?  I didn’t think you did until just now.  Holy shit!  Arena has a crush.  Damn, something has to have faded in order for this to be real.”

Fuck!  Am I that damn obvious.  Play it cool.

“Shh!  Remember you’re a fighter not a thinker.  You’ll hurt yourself coming up with such wild tales.”

“I’m smarter than you’re giving me credit for.”

“A donkey with an IQ is merely a smartass not a genius.”

“Ouch.”  He rubs his heart like it hurts and smiles menacingly when he continues.  “I can tell you like him because you’re blushing at the thought, and damn, are you ever trying to cover it up.  I know you better than you think I do.”

My face flushes when I realize there’s no escaping the truth.  He sees right through me.  Panic sets in.

“Please don’t say that so loud.  This is embarrassing enough.    I was thinking that maybe he… oh I don’t know what the hell I’m thinking anymore.  I feel like such an ass.”

He laughs a little, and his teasing tune subsides.  “Well, you shouldn’t.  He just went to his cabin to clean up.  Like I said, we all got a little disgusting out there today, and we just got back not too long ago.  He had to clean some of the meat for the roasting.  He was the last to get to go clean up.  I saw Harrison catch him before he went through the banquet hall.  I’m sure he planned on sneaking through without letting anyone see him in such a mess.”

Now my face is absolutely beaming the flashing the red calling card of embarrassment.  I feel even more like a fool.  The panic still lingers in my tone.

“Please don’t say anything.”

I cover my face with my hands hoping to hide my humiliation.  He just continues laughing.

“No worries, baby Clash.  I won’t say anything.”

I shake my head while burying my face deeper into my hands.  He pats my shoulder as he walks off.  Harrison jogs up just as I finally find the courage to show my face again.

“Hey Kace will be out in a few.  He had to go clean up.  He looked like he rolled around on the ground for two hours and then played in a pile of blood.”

My face glows even redder as I try to recollect myself.

“Thanks for the update.  I really wasn’t wondering though.”  My snippy tone is unexpected.  I’m sure it has something to do with how utterly mortified I am at this moment.

Julius narrows his eyes at me as a smirk spreads across his face.  I hadn’t intended on him hearing my little lie, but it’s no mystery he did.  His I-know-your-dirty-little-secret look makes me long for the ability to shove my head under ground.

I have to button my lips and quit acting like such a wreck.

Harrison seems surprised by my tone, which in all honesty, he didn’t deserve the attitude I gave him.  He speaks with a little tension sounding out.

“I was just letting you know Frank wouldn’t be hanging around you much longer.  He won’t mess with you with Kace around.  He said he would make sure Frank stayed away during the party, along with all of the others as well.”  His tension mounts with each sentence and then he shifts to sudden concern.  “Did something happen?  Are you okay?”

“I just need some more wine,” I say while shaking my head.

Uncertainty fills his voice as his head tilts to the side.  “I think less wine is what you meant to say.”

“No.  More wine.  Definitely more wine.”

He laughs as he shrugs.  “If you say so.”

I dash away from him, almost stumbling in my haste.  The bonfire in the center of the field glows with its enormous reach.  A piece of ash pops me in the eye.

“Damn it!”

I struggle to free my eye from the horrid intruder.  I can feel the water in my eye dripping, trying to help free my eye from the alien object.

“Are you crying?  I told you he’d be out here soon.”

I scowl fiercely at Julius.  “Really?  You think I’m crying out of one eye?  There’s a fucking piece of ash in my eye, you jackass.”

He laughs ridiculously hard.  My one good eye focuses in on the background and I completely forget about the burning in my other eye.

People are laughing and swaying to the sound of the music being played.  Through the fire, I can see what I’ve been desperately trying to see this whole time… Kace.

He’s absolutely perfect - the end of his shirt rattles from the wind.  The damn wind that loves to tease me is giving me a sneak peek of that incredible stomach hidden by the soft fabric.

My stomach does somersaults before plummeting to my feet.  I’ve wanted to see him so badly, and now I just want to hide.  The burning in my eye has come back to life, and the water still runs as a defense mechanism.

I can only imagine what I look like.

My eye has shit in it and my only concern is what I look like… unbelievable.  I’m dumfounded by my thoughts and riddled with such impractical complicated emotions.  Nothing makes sense anymore, and I know now I have truly gone insane.

He’s instantly flogged by the Grafflin girls who assembled to wait on him.  I laugh as he rolls his eyes while trying to break free from their clutches.  My laughter fades into a growl when Mary loops her arm through his.  A smile returns when he very casually drops it out.

Julius leans over and whispers, “If you don’t want him to know, then you need to stop looking at him that way.  Everyone here is starting to notice, and the lads are growing more restless now.  I’ve been trying to hold them at bay, but I think the dam is about to break.  They don’t want you to fall for him.”

Too late.

I look at him with such fret and angst.  “I really don’t want to deal with them right now.”

I stagger slightly from the large amounts of wine I have so viciously consumed.  I don’t think I’m drunk, but that line can’t be too far away.

Julius catches me and chuckles under his breath.  “If you keep drinking, they’ll all start looking like him.  Then you are going to get yourself into a mess.”

“I’m fine.  I’ll slow down though,” I laugh.

He shrugs.  “I’ll pretend to be him if you want to keep drinking.”

I laugh a little harder as I elbow him in the side.  “Not funny.”

I roll my eyes, though one reminds me it is still being tortured.  I look up just in time to catch Kace’s eyes penetrating mine.  He looks across the field with a large smile spreading across his face – forcing me to mimic the fool grin.

Julius smiles a little as he excuses himself.  “Well, I think he’s doing a poor job of hiding his feelings as well if it makes you feel any better.”

I smile back as he walks off.  Kace slowly makes his way toward me with the flock of hens dispersing as they see me.  He smiles even larger as he looks me up and down.  He starts to speak, but he has to clear his throat.

“Wow.  I wasn’t expecting that.”  Whew.  He likes it.

Damn he looks so fucking hot right now. - from his soft, sweeping hair that’s just long enough to tangle your fingers in, to his chiseled face forged from the hand of perfection.

I turn around playfully as if I’m modeling for him.  He just laughs as I stagger again slightly.  He grabs me before I fall, and his hands run down to my waist, followed by that deliciously exquisite heat.  He looks into my eyes and studies my pitiful one.

“I see you’ve found the wine.”

“Yes.  Yes I did.”

He laughs at my playful remark, and then concern fills his tone.

“Are you okay?  You look as if you’ve been crying.”

I roll my eyes.  “I have something stuck in my eye.  A piece of ash I think.”

His hands move to my face as he examines my eye.  He blows into it, and I almost have to lock my wobbly knees into place.  His breath is incredible, and his scent is surreal.

This is too close.  In this state, there’s no telling what stupid-as-hell thing I might do.  Whatever he’s doing is working on my eye though.  I feel relief, and my shaky breath exhales – forced to rid itself from my body.

He steps back to admire his handiwork.  “It’s gone now.  Feel better?”

Hell no.  I fell like a raging volcano begging to erupt, you sexy bastard.  Stay calm, Arena.  You can speak to the boy without showing him how fucking torn up you are.

“Yeah.  It feels much better.  Thank you.”  Good girl.

“You look amazing.  I thought you weren’t trying to entice the wolf pack.  This seems a little contradictive,” he says while pointing at my very revealing splits.

“You can blame your mother for this, not me.”  Oh… he said I look amazing.

He smiles as his eyes trail to my showy dress once more.  His voice is much more provocative when he finishes his third inspection.

“She’s clever.  She knows my weaknesses, and she’s trying to exploit them.  She must have really liked you.”

I smile sheepishly and blush obviously.  “Now I just feel awkward.”

He laughs harder.  His tone turns a bit more guilt-ridden when he shifts the subject.

“Sorry about Frank.  He was supposed to be on his best behavior.”

My smile deserts me as a scowl emerges in its place.  “I would rather face off with the boar again than be around Frank for five more minutes.  I swear if anyone sends him to watch me again, they will feel pain.”

He laughs again as he motions for me to sit.  I do as he says, and attempt to not fly backwards off the log.  He sits down beside me and wraps his arm around my waist to help steady me in my slightly inebriated state.  Mary huffs loudly as I lean over to be in front of his face.

“Well, I see you got cleaned up.”  Oh no.  What am I doing?  This is too close.  His lips are right there – inches from mine.  Be strong.

He smiles menacingly now as his hand lowers to rest on the log behind my back. Damn it.  I liked his arm there.

He teases, “So you’ve been asking about me?  Miss me?”  Yes… no… yes… damn it.  Say no.  Say no.

I feel the red rise back to my cheeks instantly.  I’m not thinking clearly at all.  All the voices in my head are clambering around and speaking at once.  Shit!  I can’t even get my damn lips to move.

Fortunately, Julius interrupts us, relieving me from my catastrophic meltdown.

“Well, I’ve done my civic duties for the night.  I can’t hold them back any longer.  You’re on your own, Kace.  I’m going to mingle with some of the gigglers.  It appears the Grafflin clan has forgiven me tonight.  Perhaps the Heflin girls have moved past our differences as well.  I plan to find out.”

Kace chuckles while I roll my eyes.

“Thanks for keeping an eye on her.”

Julius nods at him and then winks at me discreetly.  I try to forget about everything I told him – which isn’t hard to do when suddenly Kace’s arm finds its way back to my waist once I waver on the log.

The warmth is so powerful, bold, and excruciating all at once.  I’m still surprised an ulcer hasn’t made its way into my world, considering all the damn conflicting emotions I’ve been struggling with.

My emotions are all over the place as it is, and this damn wine is only making them show more clearly.  I definitely have to stop drinking before I blurt out everything.

CHAPTER 10

AN UNLIKELY COURTSHIP

Morning had turned to noon and then to night in a near blink.  The sun is slowly starting to descend behind the trees.  Kace has been entangled with the activities Malfus had set up for most of the day.

He’s been constantly dodging Mary in the most gracious way he can.  I’ve been trying to stay away from the wolf pack most of the time.  I walk up to Julius and speak with a weary tone weighing down my voice.

“I’m so ready for this day to end.”

He laughs a little as he checks me out.  “It’s good to see the wine has lost its effect on you.”
I shake my head as I almost whine in response.  “Not really.  I started drinking again about thirty minutes ago when a guy showed me a drawing of what our kids would look like.”

He bursts out laughing, slapping his hands together in enjoyment.  “You’re kidding me.”

I shake my head again and hold my hand up for the innocent effect.  “I swear.  I can’t make this stuff up.  I think they’re getting worse by the moment.”

Julius laughs even harder, gripping his side in pain.  “That’s crazy funny.  I’m starting feel ashamed about my affiliation with these fools.”

I laugh a little.  I quickly shift to serious.  “Hey, thanks for not ratting me out earlier.”

He nudges me playfully.  “I’m not a rat.

His gaze wanders to Helena, and I see longing mixed with pain pouring from his brown eyes.  His stare quickly breaks free when Harrison walks up to kiss her.  Now the pain is more pronounced.

I feel bad for him for the first time since their relationship went sour.  I didn’t know until recently how much he still felt for her.

He’s been screwing around with half the tribe so I assumed that in some way he had moved on.  I scramble to break the awkward silence by saying the first non-relationship-oriented topic that comes to mind.

“So when do the games start?”

The Tribal Competition always sparks excitement in every warrior’s eyes.

He smiles, letting me know I just succeeded.  Good girl.

“Soon.  About four weeks from now actually.  It’s going to be crazy here in the next couple of days.  You won’t be spending so much time with Kace once the intense training begins.”

“Thanks for reminding me of my over sharing,” I say while frowning.  How did this still get turned into this conversation?

He just laughs.  I look up to see Kace staring at me from about forty yards out.  His mouth etches out in such a magnificent grin.  He looks down for a second before resuming our eye contact.  I can’t stop staring and smiling like a damn hungry fool.

Malfus breaks my concentration with his loud, instructive tone.  “The sun isn’t far from hiding its light.  Anyone who doesn’t wish to stay the night may leave now.  Everyone else can head on in to the banquet hall for music and dancing.  The night can go for as long as we wish.”

Kace moves toward me with his hands nested in his pockets.  Every inch of him is mouthwatering.  I’m becoming weaker by the minute, and I feel so out of place, off balance, and desperate.

Julius smiles as he softly interjects, “Well, that is my cue to exit.”

I just smile at him as he walks off, and then my eyes shift back to the slowly approaching Kace – each long stride graceful, almost lazy, but sexy as hell.

Mary tries to intercept him – annoying bitch – but Julius calls to her.  She reluctantly answers him, and he pulls her inside the banquet hall.

Kace shakes his head as he finally reaches me.  I laugh a little as I tease, “I guess you owe Julius one.”

He nods.  “I owe him a few actually.  He knows how badly she annoys me, and he loves irritating her.”  I just smile as he motions to the banquet hall and speaks in that smoldering tone.  “Shall we?”

I sigh.  I don’t want to dance with the mongrels tonight.  I reply with a very reluctant tone.

“If we must.”

“I’ll do my best to keep you busy so they don’t hound you tonight,” he says with his smoldering tone still intact.

He puts his hand out for me to take, and my body doesn’t allow for a moment of hesitation.  I feel our fingers intertwine with such amazing energy connecting us.

Lightening and fire contend for dominance inside my body.  All of my other emotions take a seat while eating popcorn and enjoying the show, leaving me all alone with lady lust.

I try not to smile as I playfully tease, “If I have to dance with Frank, you will pay.”

He laughs harder this time.  “Understood.”

Kace and I have already danced to numerous songs.  We’re both tired from dodging the eager breeders and the hungry wolves.  Frank bears a scowl on his face as he skulks toward us.  His tone is bitter as he scolds Kace loudly.

“Kace, you know you can’t occupy every dance with her for the entire night.  It isn’t dignified without a courtship.  We feel as though you should relinquish your contact for the rest of the night.  It’s not fair to the rest of us or her.”

Oh that son of a bitch!  I know he’s not trying to tell me who I can or cannot dance with.  I narrow my eyes and Kace chuckles lightly.  I speak with exaggerated offense.

“So I don’t have a say in who I dance with because it isn’t fair to you?”

Frank’s eyes shift to me with a bit of panic for his offensive remark.  Kace just laughs a little harder as Frank stumbles around to recover.

“I … I didn’t… mean it that way.  Kace knows the rules.  Gatherings like this are meant for socializing.  If… you spend all of your time with one person, then you don’t have a chance to get to know everyone else.  I swear I meant no disrespect.”

Julius walks up and interjects with extreme sarcasm.  “So what Frank is saying is that he wants to dance with you, and he doesn’t stand a chance with Kace in the way.  Now he’s trying to use the rules to his advantage to win the girl.  Sorry, Frank, baby Clash is no one’s fool.”

Now I snicker slightly.  Frank scowls and barks at Julius.

“No one asked you, Julius.  Besides, you didn’t try to enforce the rules with Helena, and look what happened.  I have every right to make sure the rules are enforced.  If you had been smart, you would’ve done the same.”

Julius isn’t smiling now.  Frank’s a bigger dumbass than I realized.  Julius will fucking shred him like a paper doll.

Julius steps toward Frank like he’s going to punch him in the face.  Kace puts his arm in front of Julius’s chest to stop him.  This time Kace is the one speaking, and damn does he look pissed.

“Arena and I are in a courtship.  It just hasn’t been announced yet because it is so recent.”

What the fuck?  Did I agree to something during one of my lust-filled gawking moments I don’t remember?  My eyes widen at the unexpected lie.  Julius smiles very large now.  Excitement springs from his voice.

“And you were worried he didn’t want to see you.  There wasn’t any reason to hide your feelings after all.”

My eyes widen even more now as red fills my face with no mercy.  Fuck me!  Damn it, Julius!  Shut the hell up!

Julius quickly gauges my reaction and seems to realize what the hell is actually going on – even though I’m still somewhat confused.  Kace is smiling very big at me.  I feel like choking Frank and Julius both.

Frank backs away with pain in his eyes as he reluctantly gives up his fruitless endeavor.

“Well, then.  I guess there really isn’t anything I can do.  I bid you both a good evening.”

Kace turns to face me with his lingering smile and absolute intrigue in his tone.

“So you were hiding your feelings for me, and you were worried I didn’t want to see you?  Why am I just now hearing about this?  Do you wish to elaborate on these feelings?”

Fuck!  I glare at Julius who is squirming uncomfortably from inadvertently blowing the lid on my secret.  He speaks up in an attempt to recover from his accidental betrayal.

“That was all me.  I realized what was going on, so I played along.”

Disappointment seems to take the place of the anticipation on Kace’s face.  Relief spreads through me in abundance.

Julius walks away quickly to avoid any further discussion of the topic.  Kace leans over and his hand grazes my neck as he moves my hair from my shoulder.  One touch is all it takes to send the explosive, merciless bitch named lust back into action.

“I’m sorry, but I didn’t see any other way to keep them at bay.  They’re going to be even worse when I start training in a couple of weeks.  There’re only about twenty to twenty-five of us going, so the rest of the pack will be beating down your door.  At least now they should be deterred from that course.  It would’ve been even worse considering you’ll be living up here in a few more weeks.”

I look at him curiously, and lust quickly makes room for anger.  “When was that decided?”

He starts moving my body against his to dance, and anger suddenly disappears.  His touch is maddening, wonderful, excruciating, and blissful.

“Malfus spoke with your mother this morning.  Julius’s father is going to assume the duties.  He’s very trustworthy and a really good man.  I feel like he will do the clan justice.”

I was almost hoping my mother would stay chief.  I know she doesn’t want to though.  If she did, Malfus might let her.  He’s been desperately seeking her approval lately.

I don’t want to move to the Shaylan camp, but at the same time I’m secretly excited.  It means that I will see Kace more.

Damn it.  This is exciting, agonizing, confusing, and intriguing all at once.  Can I have one normal feeling please?  I’m so sick of the frustrating, contradictory emotions drowning me in turmoil.

Before I can say anything else, Malfus taps the side of his glass to propose a toast.  He stares at us with an enormous smile.

Oh fucking eh.  He’s already heard.  Damn it!

"I’ve just learned Kace and Arena have entered into a courtship.  I would like to personally congratulate them both."

Now my eyes dart around in a panic.  Kace seems a little put off by the announcement as well.  The older crowd cheers harmoniously as most of the younger crowd starts their growling.  Obviously, Mary is devastated by the news.  Her sobs can be heard from around the world.

Kace’s mother walks up to us, almost bouncing up and down in delight.

"I knew that dress was going to drive him crazy.  I didn’t expect it to work that efficiently though."

I just blush and squirm uncomfortably as Kace laughs nervously.  Her optimism suddenly turns to skepticism.  Before she can say anything else, Mary approaches, wiping her tears, and scowling.  She completely ignores my presence as she forces a smile at Kace.

“I was hoping I could dance with Kace on the next song.”

Really?  You fucking bitch.

Abigail chuckles as she scolds her.  “Did you miss the announcement, Mary?  They’ve entered into a courtship.  That means my son is now officially off limits.”

She scowls again.  “I heard the announcement.  I’m not sure I fully believe its contents though.”  Her eyes glare at me now.  Bring it on bitch.  I fucking dare you.

I start to take a step toward her when Frank’s annoying voice distracts me.

“If it doesn’t offend anyone, I would like to ask for the next dance with Arena.”

Kace is glowering now.  Oh please punch him.  Then I can punch Miss Bitchy.

“I guess no one paid very much attention earlier.”

Frank scowls at him even more now.  “I saw the way the two of you reacted after Malfus’s announcement.  You sure as hell didn’t act like two people in a courtship normally act.  Pardon me if I seem a little less obliged to believe your story now.”

Kace responds with an explanatory tone.  I’m impressed by his ability to think so quickly.

“It just surprised us since we had not told him ourselves.”

He takes my hand and pulls me away from everyone.  Damn it.  It’s starting to feel like we’re slowly being suffocated to death.

“I thought a courtship would rebuff their attempts, but I think it only fueled their fire that much more,” I say with absolute frustration drenching my tone.

Kace seems as confused as I am which is actually sort of relieving.  It’s nice to know I’m not in this alone.

“I see that.  I don’t know what’s going on.  I haven’t ever witnessed such a reaction.”

Helena pops up with alarming surprise - like a damn jack-in-the-box.  I almost gasp at the startling shock.  She interjects herself into our conversation without any regard for the privacy we were intending to have.

“That’s because no one can buy something the two of you aren’t selling.  You are not setting a very convincing stage for your audience, and believe me, they’re going to need a hell of a lot of convincing.”

We both stare blankly at her devious smile.  Harrison joins in as well.  Damn, does nobody care if they’re crossing personal boundaries?

“Did you two think all you had to do is just say you were together?  You have to show people you are together.  Why do you think I make every effort to remind the boys I’m with Helena?”

Kace shrugs innocently, equally as bewildered as I am.  “What do you suggest?”

Helena smiles very mischievously.  “You had best learn to be better actors.  All eyes will be on you until they feel satisfied you’re telling the truth.  You had better do something fast too.  The animals are growing restless.”

Her eyes point to all the girls and guys obviously staring at us with skepticism oozing from them.

My mind rattles emptily as I try to think of something to do.  I’m tired of thinking.  All thinking does is give me a headache.  I have to act.

I finally decide to do something I’ve been dying to do since the moment I met Kace.  I grab the back of his head slightly and pull him down to me.  He seems almost startled when our lips gently collide.

Fuck me!  This is … unbelievable.  His lips are so soft, but firm.  His tongue is… oh damn… his tongue is in my mouth, and it’s so soft and curious as it wanders with absolute expertness while it dances with mine.

His arms wrap around me and pull me tighter to his body.  Damn it.  I’m melting over here.

One hand becomes lost in my curls, pulling me tighter into the kiss.  One hand grips my side and his fingers become almost melded to my sizzling skin.  I feel my free hand sliding up his perfect arm.  My body is now moving without my permission.

Our lips move together in perfect unison.  I feel lightheaded, flushed, dizzy, and completely engulfed.  His plush lips have delivered more fire than I would’ve ever imagined, and I can’t seem to pull myself away from them.

His body is pressed against mine with such magnificent force, and mine is throbbing in response.  We’re so close I can feel my heart beating fiercely against his body.  I almost forget it isn’t supposed to be real.

The kiss has lasted much longer than I had intended for it to.  I finally summon up enough strength to withdraw.  My eyes are almost too scattered to focus.  I finally see our crowd has fizzled out and wandered away.

His eyes are studying mine when I turn back to meet his gaze.  Damn his lips are still calling my name.  They’re perfect and I’m desperate to have them entangled with mine once more.

He rubs his lips together slowly before speaking in a nearly breathless tone.

“What was that?”

Fuck!  Really?  What did I do wrong?  “It was supposed to be a kiss.  Apparently I didn’t do such a good job since you don’t even realize what it was.”

He laughs under his breath as I continue looking around the room – trying desperately not to look at him.  His lips are still taunting me, and mine are begging for more.

I’m struggling – torn between hypocrisy and desire.  So many years I’ve harshly judged all those who were so willing to succumb to their carnal desire, and now I find myself wanting – needing – this man in ways I never thought to be a possibility.

He has found a way to disable the filter which once guarded my mouth, preventing it from telling my most secretive, private truths.  I’m exposed, vulnerable, and driven by lady lust.  I have no practicality left in me.  I have now tasted insanity on my lips and loved every second of it.

“I realize it was a kiss.  I was asking why there was a kiss.”

Don’t say it’s because you’ve been fighting that urge since day one.  Be dismissive and practical, you lusting fool.

“I thought it would make us seem a little more real.  I haven’t ever done that before, so I was worried it wouldn’t be convincing.”  Good girl – it’s about damn time.  Look away.  Don’t look into those perfect, alluring, devouring eyes.

He looks a little disappointed by my answer.  There’s a dramatic edge to his tone when he finally responds.

“Oh it was certainly convincing.”  He stops to clear his throat before continuing.  “So you’ve never kissed a guy in front of a room full of people?”  He laughs almost nervously.

Don’t you dare tell him that was your first kiss.  Just say no.  Just say no.

“I haven’t ever kissed anyone at all in that way.  I just didn’t want everyone to think we were faking it.  What good would it do if everyone believes it’s just a charade?  I think the kiss really worked though.”  Damn it girl!

He touches his lips for a second and then speaks very softly.  “Yeah, like I said, it was very convincing.  Apparently there isn’t a whole lot you’re not good at.  I wish I had known that was your first kiss.  I would have tried to make it a little more… special I guess.  I hope you don’t feel cheated.”  He pauses briefly as his hand starts rubbing the back of his neck.  “How do you feel?”

Anything but cheated – that’s for damn sure.  I feel on fire, high, excited, confused, elated, wonderful, dumbfounded, incorrigible, incredible… Fuck!  Just answer the damn question.  Say fine.  Say fine.

My eyes meet his again, and all the voices in my head cease to exist.  My mouth moves on its own accord.

“Perfect.”  Fucking eh!  Really?  Why do I say such stupid things?

Our eyes lock as he pulls me into his embrace.  He tilts my head up, and every hair on my body is standing up.  Fire courses through me in a relentless bashing wave.  I have no choice in anything anymore.  My whole body is fighting against me.  I’m at odds with my own subconscious and my alien emotions are winning the war.

His soft, plush, luscious lips find mine again, and I feel desire and lust both feeling their craving being sated.

This kiss is shorter and so much softer.  As he draws back, a smile plays across the lips I had just tried to meld to mine.  He speaks almost comically.

“Frank was still watching.”

The last time I saw Frank, he was all the way across the room.  I haven’t seen him return, but I guess he might have.  I look around, but I still don’t see him.  It doesn’t matter why he kissed me.  The point is… I love his lips against mine, and I hate myself for loving it.

We follow everyone out to the bonfire.  I see something out of the corner of my eye, and I walk over to investigate the oddity.  I look down to see freshly picked gerangilum daisies.

It’s a flower I created myself from several cross-pollinations.  They only pop up in very random places for a couple of hours a day.  I always get excited when I see them, but these have already been picked.  They’re lying in a pile on the ground as if they’ve been thrown there.

I realize they have to be from Johnny.  I look around, but I don’t see him anywhere.  I’m sure he’s upset if he just found out about our courtship.  He doesn’t know it’s fake, and I’m sure he’s furious that I haven’t confided in him.  He’s been acting so weird lately.

Kace walks up with a quizzical look.  “Is something wrong?”

I shake my head, my eyes still dredging the landscape.  “I don’t know.  Have you seen Johnny?”

He shakes his head.  He doesn’t act as though he likes that question.  My mother walks up to me with a smile.

“My daughter is actually in a courtship.  I can’t believe it.”

Kace smiles now as I squirm uncomfortably.  He walks over to talk to Julius and some other guys.  That chicken.

“Don’t get too excited,” I whisper.

She laughs.  “I’m not.  I need more convincing.  I know you a little better than you give me credit for, my dear.  I really came over here to tell you something else.”

I look at her curiously as I shrug.  “What?”

She takes a deep breath as if she’s nervous about something.  Then she smiles halfheartedly before speaking with hesitance.

“I entered into a courtship with Malfus tonight.”

What?!  What the hell am I supposed to say to that?  I can tell she wants me to be happy for her, but it’s just so… soon.

I realize my dad has been gone a very long time, but she and Malfus just started talking.  This is a huge commitment.

Seeing her angst and fear to be happy, I finally sigh and force myself to sound less shocked.

“I wasn’t expecting that.  I don’t know what I think about anything anymore.  My emotions are so mixed up, and I’m not really sure how to feel about anything right now.  I hope you know what you’re doing.”

She smiles a real smile and visibly relaxes.  “I do, dear.  He told me I could end the courtship if I wanted to.  He said he wouldn’t force me to stay with him against my will.”

I roll my eyes at her naivety even in her older, wiser age.  “I have quickly learned these guys will say anything to get you to enter a courtship.”

She laughs, and then her tone turns more serious.  “I agree with that, but he didn’t say that until after we had entered into a courtship.”

That shuts me up.  I’m definitely surprised by that.  Nothing at all makes sense anymore, so I don’t know why in the blazes I expect it to.  She continues in her dainty tone.

“I know it seems a little bizarre, but I really do care for him.  I hope you can respect that.  No one will ever replace your father, but there is room for someone new in my life.  It’s been a lonely journey these past several years.”

I put my hand on her shoulder.  “I never expected you to have to spend the rest of your life pining over Dad.  I can respect your wishes very easily.  You deserve that.”

She smiles affectionately at me as Kace returns.  She pats him on the arm as she walks away.  She smiles at Julius as she passes him, and he walks up speaking comically.

“We’re about to start some of the games.  Do you two want to join in?”

Kace shakes his head.  “I’m going to show Arena around.”

I’m perfectly fine with that notion.  I’ve been playing games since the moment I met Kace, and I’m sick of the socializing to be honest.  Julius gives us a teasing smile.

“You two behave out there… all alone.  Don’t do anything I would.”

I feel the crimson color returning.  Fortunately, now it’s too dark to see my glowing red face.  Kace chuckles softly.

“No worries.  Take it easy on the gigglers.”

Julius pops his knuckles as he shrugs cockily.  “No promises.”  Then he jogs away from us.

Kace takes my hand – forcing my heart to pound harder – and starts pulling me away from the noisy gathering.  We make our way behind the courtyard of the camp.  There are cabins set up all around.  He points to one in the middle.

“That’s mine.  I thought I could show you around.  If that’s okay?”

I nod, but then he smirks a little, making me curious and a little nervous.  I tilt my head to the side inquisitively.

“What’s that look for?”

He laughs a little, a touch of nervousness escaping.  “They’ll be expecting us to stay together now that we’re in a courtship.  Your mother will be staying with Malfus now that they’re official, and your sister will be staying with Harrison.”

Harrison has been staying with us because of the drama in our camp.  He and my sister have been inseparable since the engagement banquet.

My mother and Malfus have just announced their courtship, and now I’m supposed to be with Kace.  Talk about a head-rush.  Everything in my life has completely changed in a matter of days.  I squirm uncomfortably.

“I hadn’t really thought about all of that.”

He looks away sheepishly.  “I can sleep on the floor.  Don’t worry.”

Now I really feel awkward.  “No.  It’s your home, so you should sleep in the bed.  I’m perfectly fine sleeping on the floor.”

I would rather be in the bed with you.  What the fuck is wrong with me?  The voice in my head is so whiny and pathetic.

He rubs the back of his neck, which I’m learning is his telltale sign of nervousness.

“I would feel more like a man if I slept on the floor than if you did.  Just take the bed.”

I smile as I nod to concede to his request.  I’m too scared to open my renegade mouth.  There’s no telling what might come out of it right now.

We walk in and I sit at the table.  He starts making tea, and I sit back to ask something I’m not certain if I should.

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but I was wondering about something.”  He looks over at me and shrugs.  I continue with my uncertain tone.  “What happened to your father?  Was he faded?”

A twinge of pain seems to gather in his eyes.  Then he sighs as he starts his explanation.

“No.  He wasn’t faded.”  He sighs while turning back, speaking to me without actually making eye contact.  “When we lived with our old tribe, my father was the tribal chief – Chief Grant Brice.  My brother had just turned twenty and wanted to go for a hunt.  Dad didn’t like the idea because it was so cold out that day - we lived much further north at that time.  My brother begged until my father finally ceded.”

He pauses, and I can tell he’s struggling with the memories.  I know that sort of pain.

He finally continues.  “We didn’t have a wall of protection like we do here.  My dad heard ice cracking beneath his feet as a thunderous roar of horses joined them.  It was so hazy that day that he heard them before he saw them.

“My brother taunted the men, threatening them.  My dad informed them of his title, but they didn’t care.  The tribe was just thirty yards away, and they never heard the screams when the ice beneath my father’s feet gave way.  The men ran away.  I suppose they were worried my tribe heard the commotion.  My brother drug my dad out of the ice, but it was too late.  My father’s heart had suffered too much from the freezing submersion.”

“Where’s your brother now?” I ask timidly, feeling as though I’m treading on eggshells.

He exhales deeply.  “Too make a long story short; he went after the men he held responsible for my father’s death.  He killed many, and he finally crossed a line.  He killed a young boy just because he was the son of a man there on that day.  The blood that stained his hands seeped deeper than the skin.  He yelled to the viewer to fade him.  He said he wouldn’t stop.  He begged it to fade him before he became more of a monster.  The viewer answered his request.  He was faded in front of my eyes.”

Oh shit!  My poor Mr. Perfect isn’t so perfect.  His life is just as fucked up as mine, if not more so.

“So you came here?”

He nods while turning back to face me.  “We needed a fresh start.  I know that faded memories are painful, but sometimes it’s better to not remember everything.”

Perhaps he’s right.  I hadn’t ever had to witness something like that.  He doesn’t know what it’s like to lose almost two years of good memories though.  I don’t think there’s a winner or loser here.

“I’m sorry.”

He smiles at me as he grabs the tea from the stove to pour it and hands me a cup.

“You shouldn’t be.  It was a long time ago.  It’s not as if you had anything to do with it.  Things worked out in the end, and life resumed.  My mother fell in love with another man who has been nothing but good to her.  I fit in better here than I ever did with my old tribe.  The memories of the past don’t haunt us here.”

He turns away again as he sips his tea while staring out the window.  I’m captivated by his perfectly sculpted figure.  Every inch of him is immaculate.  I want so badly to revisit those plump, soft lips.  I’m biting my lower lip, and my eyes are glued to him.  I’m so thankful he can’t see me right now.

He continues staring out the window as he speaks almost too quietly for me to hear.  “I’m sorry about some of the ruthless comments you were subjected to tonight.  Women can be rather vicious when scorned.”

He had apparently heard all the whispers I had.

“Well, I guess it serves me right for faking a courtship with the most coveted man in the tribe.  I suppose I deserve some of the cruel remarks, considering the obvious.”

He blushes and I instantly wish I could recant the words that have just leapt out of my non-filtered mouth.

He sounds so shy now.  “Well, in all honesty, they just want what they find unattainable.  Most people do.  It’s the chase they truly desire.  Not me.”

“Though I find your effort to appear modest admirable, it’s obvious you’re not very well versed with self-deprecation.  Your voice lacks conviction, and I think we both know why.”

Fuck!  Why did I just say that?  I should’ve just let it go.  He doesn’t have to know how absurdly hot I think he is, but now he sure as hell does.

He turns to face me now, his mouth edging out in a bashful grin as he teases, “It’s a good thing I know better, otherwise I might think you’re flirting with me.”

The red stings my cheeks with an unmistakable glow.  Unbelievable.  I don’t know how to stop the craziness.

“Have you ever had sex?”  The brazen words escape my traitorous lips – almost sounding premeditated with their fluent flow.

He spews tea all over the floor.  Holy fucking shit!

We’re both startled by my damn mouth going rogue, capitalizing on its momentary detachment from my brain.  His initial response would have been comical if I wasn’t so mortified.  I’m not sure who is more surprised, but there’s no question about who is more humiliated – me.

He coughs in an attempt to free his lungs from the accidentally inhaled liquid, and his eyes are so wide I’m worried they’re about to pop out.  The pure, unadulterated shock on his face forces my red glow to deepen, while my crude question remains suspended over us like a blanket of awkward.

He finally takes a breath and a faint smirk appears.  “Yes, though admittedly your question caught me off guard since it came out of no-damn-where.”

You and me both.  His vagueness almost irks me.  Now irritating questions and unjustifiable jealousy plagues me.  Who?  How many?  For how long?  Oh, please don’t let Mary be one of them.

He finally puts my weary mind to rest.  “No one from here.  I don’t look for that sort of drama.  I travel a lot with the tribe.  Sometimes we go on hunting expeditions outside the walls for bigger game.  There’re also the Tribal Competitions, challenge matches, market endeavors, and numerous other activities.”

Oh gee.  That makes it all grand.  Mr. Sexing It Up just fucks a bunch of random girls outside the walls.  I should be appalled, so why the hell do I still want him so frigging badly?

He looks uneasy now, and his tone is shaky.  “So… I’m assuming that since that was your first you kiss, you’ve never…”

His question stops, but it’s clear what he’s asking.  Apparently, he has more control over his stupid mouth.  At least he didn’t just blurt it out.  Not to mention, since I asked him about his sexploits, he has every right to question mine.

Shit!  Say I don’t want to talk about it.  Say I don’t want to talk about it.

“I’ve never… no.”  Damn you, Arena Blabbermouth Clash!

He tightens his lips.  “I didn’t think so.”

Oh really, Loverboy?  Is it that fucking obvious?  I could die right now.  I almost welcome that option.

“Do you want to have sex with me?”

Oh shit!  The question just pops out as jarringly unexpected as a hiccup. Please let someone kill me or clamp my damn rebellious mouth shut.  I fear I’ll never recover from this humiliation.

His face can’t even begin to attempt to mask his surprise.  Again, he coughs violently to free his lungs from the inhaled liquid.

“Are you trying to make me cough up a lung tonight?”

Fuck!  “No.  I don’t know… I just thought… I mean I thought we…  Fuck!  I don’t know what I thought.”

A chuckle erupts from him now.  He rolls his eyes as he speaks condescendingly.  “Like I said, I don’t do that sort of thing inside these walls.  Our situation makes it all the more complicated.  There’s no way someone gets out without a scratch if we throw more things into the pot.”

I’m okay with getting scratched, bitten, and maybe even shoved a little.  Oh what the fuck am I thinking?  Did he just tell me no?

I’m so distracted by all the things I’d like to do that I don’t even remember what the hell he said.  I think he said no.  I’ll pretend like he did.

“So you don’t you look at me that way?”

“That’s not what I said.”

Crap!  What the hell did he say?  What did I miss?

“Look, Arena, you’re beautiful, but I don’t want things to be complicated.  A fake courtship is much too complicated as it is.  We both stand to lose something by throwing that into the mix.  What’s gotten into you tonight?”

I don’t fucking know.  I keep my lips buttoned tight, and head over to the window.  I’m seriously debating throwing myself into bed naked.

Sheesh.  He just rejected me and I’m already plotting my next attack.  Am I really that desperate to be with him?  Yes.  Yes I am.

I stagger slightly and try to regain my balance.  His hands catch me before I fall, and that heat is very unwelcome at this moment.  Lady Lust needs to shrivel up and go back into the hole she dug herself out of.

He laughs a little.  “The wine.  How could I have forgotten?  You’ve consumed far too much for your size.  Tolerance for any alcohol is acquired.  I knew there had to be a reason for your being so… bold.”

A chill spreads throughout the air, causing me to shiver.  Fortunately, it distracts him.  He pulls out a long-sleeve shirt from his drawer.  He tosses it to me with a smile.

“You can sleep in that.  I don’t think that dress was meant to be a nightgown.”

I laugh nervously, still reeling from my ridiculous inquisition and humiliation thereafter.

“I brought clothes, though I don’t know what happened to them.”

“Most likely they’re in the slush pile that has gathered in the back of the banquet hall.  I’ll take you up there if you want to dig through it.”

“No.  I’m tired.  I’ll just wear the shirt.”

I study it closely.  It’s very thin, soft, and it smells wonderful – just like him.  I try not to smile as I walk over to the corner to change.  He jumps up and speaks with a very nervous tone.

“I’ll just step out while you… change.”

I smile again, trying to keep my filter in check.  “Thanks.”

I tug at my zipper, but it refuses to budge.  I’m just ready for this fucked up night to end already.  I turn to face him just before he escapes through the door.

“Can you help me first?  This zipper is hung on something apparently.”

“Really?” he asks in a higher octave.

I laugh even though I really want to cry.  He thinks I’m trying to trap him.

“Yes really.  I’m never asking you to touch me in any way like that ever again, I can assure you.”

He almost seems disappointed.  That makes no sense.  He just turned me down.  He has no right to act offended right now.

He swallows hard as he walks over to me.  He tugs gently to free the zipper of its obstruction.  Then I feel the warmth of his hand sliding over my rear as he unzips it the rest of the way.  I can feel his breath growing heavier as his body seems to be just centimeters from mine.

His breath is rasp and I can feel my heartbeat turning into a thunderous pound as it desperately tries to escape my chest.

He clears his throat and speaks again very quietly.

“I’ll be outside if you need me.  I need to grab some firewood.  The cold seems to be returning quickly.”

I turn to face him and nod, still worried what I might say if I dare to open my uncontrollable mouth once more.  Our eyes lock for a moment, and I don’t know what to say or do.  We’re just staring aimlessly – neither of us speaking.  Finally, he darts outside.

I pull on and button up the shirt he gave me.  It hangs fairly low to hide my underwear, but I still feel a little too indecent.  I climb into bed, and hide my lower half under the covers.

The bed is off to the side like mine.  It’s much larger than mine though.  I stare around the cabin to take in all of its sights.  Everything suits Kace exactly.

There are numerous bows hanging on the wall as if they’re decorations.  Various knives grace the sides of the walls as well, hanging like ornaments.  The room should feel cold and devoid of character with such primitive touches, but it’s so warm and inviting.  I know it’s because it’s his home.  I can feel him in here.

I laugh slightly as I see my arrow hanging in his room.  The red tips and engraved markings are the telltale signs that give it away.  Why does he have it though?  Maybe it’s because that’s the arrow that beat his two-arrow record.  It’s probably a motivational tool.

My thoughts are interrupted when Kace walks back in with a taxing look.  I rise up slightly alarmed.

“Did something happen?”

He seems to lose his train of thought as he sees me in the bed.  He stammers slightly as the cover falls off, revealing one of my legs.

“There’s… been… a change…”  He stops to clear his throat and then tries to start over with more finesse.  “There’s been a change of plans.”

I smile sheepishly as I question his nervously vague response.

“What’s that?”

He looks away from me so as not to be distracted again, and he fumbles with the teacups.

“We’re going to have some guests it appears.  Apparently, a number of the cabins have been damaged by the winter snow, and the tents are not going to work out.  There’s a frost coming in, and it will be too cold to sleep outdoors tonight.”

I tilt my head.  “Who’s staying?”

He frowns.  “Apparently Mary somehow found a way to get herself in here, along with two other Grafflin gigglers.  Frank has also found a way to weasel in.”

I scowl.  “Does Frank not have his own place?”

He laughs.  “Yes, but he graciously offered it to one of the Heflin families.  He told Malfus he could bunk with us.  I think Malfus might be testing us.”

I roll my eyes.  “So now what?”

He laughs a little while rubbing the back of his neck like he so often does when he’s nervous or uneasy about something.

“Now we’ll have to share the bed unless we denounce the courtship.  Too many eyes will be focused on us.”

My stomach does about five flip-flops.  I speak in a tone that now matches his nervousness.

“Oh.”

Shit.  I literally just asked him to have sex, was rejected, and now we have to share a bed?  Fuck my life.  Play it cool, Arena.

“Well, I’m not going to deal with Frank anymore.  We’ve come too far to turn back now.  I promise to behave.”

He smiles and blushes.  Damn he’s so fucking hot right now.

“Well, there shouldn’t be any problems then.”

My stomach flutters with nerves as he starts unbuttoning his shirt.  Oh, this is agony – sweet, tormenting, delicious agony.  I’m going to have to watch him do a striptease on top of everything else tonight.  This sucks.

Mary and two other girls barge in without so much as knocking.  Mary has on a frumpy gown with a large frilly cap to cover her hair.  The other two have on something as equally ridiculous.

She smiles while she gawks at Kace who is still unbuttoning his shirt.

“Well, I finally get to spend the night with you after all,” she giggles out.

I have no reason to feel possessive, but she’s making me want to rip her head off.  Even though we aren’t really together, I feel disrespected.

Kace answers in a cold and indifferent tone.  “I’ve gathered blankets for you all.  They’ll be thick enough to make the floor more comfortable.”

The girls all giggle as he pulls his shirt off.  I roll my eyes and then find myself as equally entranced by the sight.  His perfect stomach and chest seem to make it impossible for me to look away.  Each line of definition is captivating, mouthwatering, and my agony continues on.

He snickers slightly as he catches my locked gaze.  Then Frank barges in with the same obnoxious rudeness the girls exhibited.  Kace grabs a stack of blankets and throws them at him.  Frank smiles at me as he begins to make his bed on the floor.

“Well this is going to be interesting,” Frank says maliciously.

I cover myself better now.  Kace climbs into the bed and takes his place beside me.  He glares threateningly at Frank.

“Frank, if I catch you breathing heavy or standing over us, I swear I will slice you up like a turkey.”

Frank swallows hard.  “Give me some credit.  I just needed a place to stay.”

Kace rolls his eyes this time as he pulls me into his embrace.

“Sure you did.”

I look up to meet his eyes and he whispers to me.  “This is our target audience.  Better sell it.”

I curl into his body with no reluctance.

“I can if you can.”

He blushes slightly.  Our lips collide for the third time tonight.  I can feel myself gripping him a little more forcefully than I had intended.  His hands are firmly placed on me.

I feel my hand running up his smooth stomach and chest to his soft shaven face.  I feel my bare leg wrapping around him and his hand sliding up it with such force.  I keep reminding myself that it isn’t real – at least not for him.

Then Frank interrupts our moment that has gotten a little carried away.

“You two had better not get too close with us in here.  It would be incredibly awkward and undignified, you know.”

Kace pulls back with a menacing smile and eyes full of passion I know isn’t really there.

“I’m perfectly aware of the guests in the room,” Kace says with a hint of agitation lacing his voice.

I smile too as Mary huffs in complete distaste for our closeness.  He wraps his arms around me and pulls me to him.  My eyes flitter slightly before closing.  It’s so hard not to kiss him again.  My hands are still glued to his perfect body, and I’m almost tangled around him.

His hands keep rubbing up and down my back.  Our bodies intertwine together for the entire night.  I feel so peaceful in his embrace.

CHAPTER 11

JEALOUS DRIVE

The sun peers in through the windows.  The dreadful light scolds my eyes through my eyelids, as punishment for my abuse of the wine the night before.  Blurred memories of my humiliating questions come flooding back to me little by little.

No!

I’m scared to open my eyes.  I can’t face him right now or the cheeky, taunting grin he'll surely wear.

My hands feel around for the warmth I’m missing.  Kace isn’t in the bed anymore.  Relief and disappointment surface at once through a loud breath.  I rise up to see all of the unwanted guests are gone as well.

A blood-curdling scream emerges from my mouth as something flaps violently onto the bed!  “Fuck me!”

I leap to my feet to see my attacker is none other than a damn peacock.  Oh, I hate peacocks!

The door swings open and Kace pops in.  “What the fuck is wrong?”

I scream again as the wicked, demented peacock lunges at me.  “That stupid vicious beast is what’s wrong.”

He laughs ridiculously hard and whistles.  Kace holds the door as the feathery fiend escapes, strutting victoriously out the door.

“The door must not have latched behind me this morning.  It must’ve pushed it open.”

“I hate peacocks.”

He laughs a little harder, and then speaks in his soft, smoldering tone.

“Good morning.”

I feel myself blushing, forgetting the bird attack.  “Good morning.”  I look around the room, motioning to the vacant space with one hand.  “I see you got rid of the eager breeders and Frank.”

He laughs.  “I think Frank should be under the category of eager breeders as well.”

I nod as I snicker slightly while responding.  “I think you’re right.”

He laughs again as he plops down beside me and puts his hands behind his head.

“Well, the Grafflin clan just left, and I pushed Frank out the door as soon as the sun threatened to show its light.”

I chuckle under my breath.  “So you’ve been awake for a while?”

He smiles a little sheepishly.  “I didn’t sleep too much.”

I feel so embarrassed now, and my smile instantly dissipates.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to… I should have just stayed on my side.  I toss a lot.”

“It wasn’t your fault.  I just didn’t feel comfortable having Frank in the room.  Not to mention, I was worried Mary was going to drag you out of the bed and take your spot.  That would not have been very nice to wake up to.”

I laugh a little harder now.  He pats my leg as he gets back up.  Then he turns to me with a smile.

“I have to go wake up Harrison.  Malfus has requested you and your family stay with us today.  He said the new chief will start managing the Tympest as of now.  He decided to bump up the move in date for you all.  I’m sure that had something to do with your mother accepting his request for courtship.”

I squirm uncomfortably.  “So I guess I kind of have to live with you?”  And try not to take advantage of you in your sleep.

He rubs the back of his neck.  “Yeah.  It won’t be bad though.  We shouldn’t have anymore unexpected guests.  I can steal a bed from one of the other cabins and put it in here without anyone noticing.  We can make it work.”

My shoulders drop from the disheartening suggestion.  I can’t help but think about the closeness we had in the bed all night.  It was exceptionally exquisite.  I don’t want him in another bed.

It didn’t feel like we were faking last night.  Our bodies were so close all night long.  So many times I had felt him press his lips to my head.  Why did he do that?  No one could see that in the dark. I understand the whole "mixed signals" reference now.

I slowly climb out of the warm bed.  The room is so warm from the fireplace.  He smiles at my bare legs.

I shrug.  “I’m going to need some clothes if I’m going to be staying here.  I’m pretty sure your pants aren’t going to fit me.”

He laughs a little before walking over to the closet and pulls out my bag.  He hands it to me as he makes his way over to the stove.  He speaks with his back turned.

“I found it for you this morning.  I’ll make us some coffee when you get dressed.”

He puts the water on and starts to walk outside.  I bring his attention back to me.

“I’ll make the coffee if you want to go wake Harrison and Helena.  I would like to at least go pack up my stuff; mostly my journals and clothes.”

He smiles.  “That sounds good.  I’ll see you in just a bit then.”  His eyes drift back to my bare legs.”

I speak with hesitance.  “Could I have a few moments in here to take a bath?”

His eyes grow a little wider.

“Yeah.  I’ll make sure to give you more time.”

I smile and thank him as he walks out the door a little stiffly.

I almost rip my toothbrush from my bag.  Damn it.  This boy is killing me.  I’ve never been so desperate to make myself look and smell desirable.

I draw the bath and add the hot water.  I grab a blade to smooth my legs.  I’m glad Helena convinced me to keep that up, considering how much he has seen and touched them now.  I think of our three kisses, and a fool’s smile emerges.

They were all so different.  The kiss we had shared in the bed was so passionate.  It felt as if we wouldn’t have stopped if there hadn’t been guests.  Of course, we wouldn’t have been in the bed together if they hadn’t been there.

Still, it seemed like we were both forgetting it’s just a charade.  Why wouldn’t he consider my drunken proposal then?

I drew out my time in the bath for far longer than I had intended.  I climb out and wrap myself in the towel he laid out for me.  It’s so much softer than our towels.

I dry my hair the best I can, and tie the towel around my body as I go to prepare the coffee.

The door opens, and I squeal somewhat.  Harrison quickly turns around with a red face and sprints back out.

Kace walks in next, confused by Harrison’s reaction.  His eyes become glued to me when he understands Harrison’s hasty retreat.  The door closes behind him as he smiles.

“Sorry.  I thought I had given you long enough.  Are you still trying to seduce me?  If so, you’re doing a much better job than last night.”

I don’t attempt to cover myself.  Nervousness stands beside Lady Lust and holds her hand.  “I’m not trying to tempt you.  I told you I wouldn’t do that again.  Besides, the wine did have a little to do with that.  I kind of lost track of time and stayed in the bath for far too long.”

Voices from outside interrupt our moment.  It’s Frank – of course – Julius, Helena, Harrison, and Malfus.  I hear Harrison speaking with humor and nervousness.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

“Why the devil not?” Malfus asks, completely baffled.

“Arena is just wearing a towel in there.  She’s not ready yet.”

We hear Malfus laughing.  “Where is Kace?”

Then I hear Harrison reply with a chuckle.  “He’s in there with her.”

Kace looks at me with a menacing grin.  We both scamper quietly to the door to continue eavesdropping.  Malfus seems excited.

“Well, I guess they really are in a courtship.”

I hear the confusion and a hint of resentment in Frank’s tone.  “You didn’t think they were?”

Kace winks at me.  He just accused Malfus of being skeptical.  Malfus answers Frank’s question very dispassionately.

“I had my suspicions, but obviously I was wrong.  If the two of them are that comfortable with each other, then the courtship must be real.  We’ll just wait on them out here.”

Kace pulls back from the door and whispers with a smirk.  “I’ll turn my back while you get dressed.”

We got very close while listening at the door.  His hand is resting on my side.  The water from my hair has started dripping down my chest, stopping where the towel is clasped together.

My breaths are heavier and huskier.  His eyes trail down slightly, and then he quickly turns away.  A provocative smile makes its way to my face.  I hurry to change into my clothes.  I hear Frank outside growing impatient.

“I should probably go check on them.  They might not know we’re out here.”

Kace rolls his eyes at Frank’s not-so-subtle comment while turning back around.  Fortunately, I've finished dressing, and I move over to pull down a cup for the freshly brewed coffee.  He tiptoes over to help me, and we hear Malfus speaking in our defense.

“We’ll give them however long they need.  Their first night of courtship was interfered with.  They could be making up for a lost opportunity.  We should be respectful of that.”

We both start snickering quietly.  Oh damn did I ever try to consummate the courtship.

Kace walks over to the bed and messes it up a bit more.  I scowl at him slightly.  He shrugs innocently as he whispers.

“There are expectations now.”

I cover my mouth so as not to laugh.  I sip the coffee as we make them wait a few moments longer.  Then I braid my hair to one side.  Kace walks over to open the door, and Frank almost barges in.  He sounds incredibly ruffled from the wait.  He glares at the messy bed, contempt oozing from his eyes.

“I’m glad to see the two of you are finally ready.”

Kace laughs.  “Yes.  We’re ready.  I wasn’t aware of everyone waiting out here.”

I cover my mouth again.  He’s doing such a good job of masking his amusement.  I’m not doing as well.  Helena walks in and winks at me.  I roll my eyes as she whispers to me.

“You’re not fooling me.  I know what the two of you are up to.  You’re doing a good job at convincing the others though.”

I smile at her.  “Well that’s the whole point.”

She just smiles and shakes her head.  “You’re playing with fire, Arena.  You may be convincing yourself as well it seems.”

I’m already staring at Kace, but I quickly cut away after she makes that comment.  I speak casually, trying not lead on her suspicions.

“Let’s go get our stuff.”

She just laughs under her breath at my not-so-subtle attempt to avoid the conversation she’s trying to have with me.

We get to the camp and the boys start loading up all of our belongings onto the horses.  I see Johnny walking with a bow on his back.  I jog over to him with a friendly smile.

“Hey.  Did you come to the party last night?”

He doesn’t even meet my eyes as he responds with a very callous tone.  “Yeah, I was there.”

He keeps walking away.  I grab his arm in an effort to halt his retreat.

“Hey!  Stop walking.  Why didn’t you talk to me?  I never saw you.”

He finally looks at me and pain dances carelessly in his eyes as he speaks with a hateful, dramatic tone.

“Oh I saw you, but it didn’t look like you were feeling very conversational.”

I glance over to Kace.  He’s noticed the uncomfortable body language between Johnny and me.  He just looks away as if he’s trying not to pry.  I turn back to speak quietly.

“It isn’t real.  We just decided to keep the eager breeders and studs at bay.  It seems to be working.”

Johnny rolls his eyes.  “Don’t try using that crap on me.  I’ve known you for far too long.  That wasn’t fake and you know it.  Don’t treat me like some dumb fool you just met.”

I scowl at him.  “Johnny Cabot!  What’s your problem?  Are you mad at me because I didn’t tell you?”

He tightens his lips.  “No.  I’m mad because you keep lying to me.  I’m mad because I suddenly don’t fit into your new life.  I’m mad because you’ve completely changed in less than a week.  I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

I study the bow on his back.  My voice is quieter and carries a strong reluctance.

“I’m still the same girl, Johnny.  I just see things a little differently than I did.”  I sigh slightly.  “Why are you carrying around a bow?”

He looks away as he responds dispassionately.  “I joined the warriors.  I passed all of their tests, and now I’m going to train.”

I laugh a little.  “Be serious.  You hate the warriors.  Why do you really have a bow?”

He lets out a snort of derision.  “No I don’t.  I only pretended to hate the warriors because I thought you did.  Obviously that isn’t the case anymore.”

This time I see him deliberately look at Kace.

I step back, unnerved by the unexpected revelation.  “Why did you pretend to hate the warriors?”

He scowls as he speaks with such rude condescension. “You know, for a smart girl you really are stupid.  Or at least you’re really good at playing dumb.”

He barges by me, his shoulder slapping mine as he does so.  I can’t believe how ridiculous he’s acting.  I’ve never seen him so cold.

He sprints into the woods to head to the Shaylan camp.  I walk back over to Kace who has already started walking toward me.  I speak with a bit of a rattled tone.

“Did you know Johnny joined the warriors?”

He nods as he looks away guiltily.  I feel myself sounding betrayed by his neglect to mention such a thing.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

He rubs the side of my arm in a comforting manner.  “Because I thought it would be best if he told you himself.  If I had known he was going to be such a jerk about it, then I would have told you.”

I look away.  “I don’t know what has happened to him.”

He frowns slightly.  “I told you.  He doesn’t think of you as a sister.  He has obviously been in love with you for a while.  Now he sees you changing your opinion about the warriors.  He feels like he has something to prove.”

I shake my head.  “I don’t feel that way toward him though, and I never will.  It doesn’t matter if he’s a warrior or a planter, I still won’t carry those feelings.  He’s always been my best friend.  He doesn’t know the first thing about fighting.  He’s going to get himself hurt.”

Kace pulls my chin up so that my eyes meet his.  “He’ll be okay.  He breezed through the tests fairly well.  He could have been a warrior the whole time it seems.  He needs to build some bulk, but I’ll keep an eye on him for you.”

I smile as I move closer to him.  “Thanks.”

He hugs me very compassionately.  I see Helena smiling at our embrace.  For once, it isn’t for show.  It’s just him being incredibly considerate and comforting.  When we walk back to the others, he pulls my hand into his.  The fire is still blazing, and I’m hopelessly spellbound by him.

CHAPTER 12

GETTING CLOSER

I stand at the window watching some of the boys spar.  I roll my eyes and close the shutters so I can change into my clothes.  Kace moved another bed into the cabin.

I’m feeling less and less like my old self every second I’m with him.  I’ve found my weakness, and it’s him.

He walks in just as I finish changing.  His body is dripping sweat from the sparring match, which he has just been the victor.  The perfect beads roll down the sculpted contours of his chest and abdomen.  His pants hang low, exposing those deliciously defined lines leading to hips.

Lady Lust flares her frustration, making every inch of me ache.

He smiles as he walks by me to grab a towel, and a shiver runs through me.  He speaks softly.

“So, what are your plans for the day?”

“Malfus said I could join some of the boys on a hunt.  I think I might just do that.”

“Well I’m one of the boys you’ll be joining.”  He smiles teasingly.

I roll my eyes.  “I should have known.”

Malfus is still wary, and he’s making sure we’re spending time together.  I think he still has his doubts.

Kace leans over me with his amazing shirtless body as he pulls a cup down.  Damn him for that.

Now my whole body is fighting the convulsing charge.  I feel myself holding my breath, unable to release it.  Living with him is going to be pure torture.

He gets close as he reaches around me again to grab the jug of water.  He backs away to pour his glass, and a smirk lingers on his lips.  He knows what the hell he’s doing to me, and he’s relishing the torture he’s providing me with.

He sits down at the table and I join him, acting unaffected by his seductive dance.

“So, are the Grafflin women still flogging you?”

He smiles.  “Not as much.  Even if I was married with fifteen children, Mary would still chase me, but the others seem to be standing down.”

I laugh slightly at his comedic remark about Mary.  Then I hear Malfus screaming outside, though it’s not something distinguishable.  We both rush to join the others that have congregated.  Something seems to be going on.  Then I see what it is.  My jaw drops and I gasp in disbelief.

A large jaguar is circling Helena.  Malfus yells for a bow, but the jaguar lunges at her before he gets one.  Helena rolls under a large log that is slanted.

Panic sets in and I don’t hesitate.  I charge toward the chaos, yelling wildly to draw the cat’s attention, while separating far away from the others.  The beast turns its gaze on me, and I can see the wild in its eyes.

There’s no playing around.  The cat races toward me with every intention of making me a meal.  I dive under it as it lunges, and it quickly recalibrates its attack.  The men behind me are yelling to distract the cat, but its glowing green eyes are intensely focused on me.

I jerk a hatchet free from the ground, but Kace has already ended the battle.

The cat collapses to the ground with an arrow stuck in its heart.  It continues to flop around, letting off fierce roars of pain and fear.

Exhales of relief sound out in unison.  Harrison scoops Helena up as Julius walks over to the still grumbling cat.  He finishes it off to make sure the wild thing doesn't use one of its other eight lives.

Kace runs over to me and inspects me carefully – his hands moving my face side to side, and his eyes surveying my body.  His voice is shaky and full of panic.

“What the hell were you thinking?”

“I was thinking about saving my sister.”

He shakes his head and pulls me into his arms.  I feel his angst materializing and running over his skin.  His whole body is fighting the trembling urge.

Why is he so upset?  I’m perfectly fine, and it’s not like this whole courtship thing is real.  Why is he acting like he cares so much, when just last night he turned me down?

“We have to find that breach.  They’re getting bolder,” Kace says with a rattled breath to Malfus.

Malfus nods.  “They smell the food in the camps.  We may need to bring in the other clans to live with us for a while.  It would be safer until we find the breach.  I’ll have the Heflin clan come to make the repairs to the cabins.

“They have the most skilled carpenters.  We should have plenty of room.  I may ask some of you to host guests until the repairs are finished.  We can escort certain ones to check on the crops daily.  The greenhouses are the only things containing crops right now.  Planting season is just around the corner though, so the sooner we find the breach the better.”

“We can host guests if necessary.  My mother and Joe can stay with us if needed.”

Malfus chuckles lightly.  “I’ll make sure they have their own cabin.  Besides, I’m sure you don’t want your mother around, if you know what I mean.”

I blush at that comment, and I can feel rather than see Kace blushing as well.  His arms are still firmly holding me to his chest.  It feels as if he’ll never let me go, and I don’t want him to.

Malfus continues with the laughter still in his tone.  “I may ask someone else to stay with you.  I promise it won’t be Mary or Frank though.”

Kace and I both laugh at that, and his grip finally loosens.  He takes my hand and walks with me over to Helena.  She doesn’t seem the slightest bit afraid.  In fact, she’s smiling.

She speaks almost comically.  “I may need to start strapping weapons under my pants like Arena does.  I’ve teased her for years, but now I’m starting to find the idea appealing.”

I flinch slightly.  That was too close a call for her to be so casual.

“I’m glad the cat was easy to distract,” I say in an almost muted tone.

Her tone fades off to be more serious.  “It was only distracted by you.  The other boys couldn’t lure its attention.”

Kace swallows hard.  “That’s because Arena had her eyes locked on to its eyes.  The cat perceived it a challenge, and it had tunnel vision for her.  If I hadn’t-”

He stops talking and his arms wrap around me again.  He’s acting so… odd, sweet, protective, and kind.  I don’t know what’s going on today.

Helena smiles at me and her voice turns back humorous.  “If you hadn’t gotten an arrow off, Arena would have wrung the cat’s neck with her bare hands.  No harm can come to my baby sister.  I’ve seen her fearless attacks.  Hell I’ve been on the receiving end before.”

I laugh with her, but Kace and Harrison aren’t laughing at all.  Harrison seems just as shaken as Kace.  They’re both acting more unnerved by the whole thing than Helena and I.

He kisses Helena softly as he speaks to Kace.  “I think we should install traps all around the edge of the woods until we find the breach.  I don’t want to ever think of something coming that close to her again.”

Helena strokes his cheek the way a nurturing mother would a child.  He doesn’t loosen his grip on her at all.  I’m worried he won’t ever let her go again.

Kace nods.  “I don’t see any reason why we can’t do that.  I’ll tell Malfus and we can get started.”

Within the hour, they have set up traps all along the camp’s edge.  Each one is marked with a flag to make sure no one accidentally strays.  The small children have been confined to the backside of the camp – close to the wall on that side.

Eyes will be on them at all times to ensure their safety.  The other members have slowly started to arrive.  And damn it, Mary’s here, but she isn’t chasing after Kace.  He seems pleasantly surprised, and so am I.

Abigail walks up to me with a smile.  “Well, you’ve certainly upset Mary.”

“I can see that.”

She continues with a bit of humor.  “I’m sure Kace is thrilled to have that door shut.”

I laugh slightly.  “The door might be shut, but I seriously doubt that it’s sealed.

My eyes have made their way back to him.  He’s standing with a group of guys, laughing and talking.

Abigail speaks softly, calling back my lost eyes.  “I like the way you two look at each other.  I’m happy to see he’s found someone to care about him so deeply.”

I smile bashfully.  I don’t want to stare, but he’s so… Kace.  Then he walks over to us to interrupt the awkward moment.  She always makes me feel as though I’ve just gotten my hand stuck in the cookie jar.

“I need to speak with Arena for a moment.”

She smiles and nods as she walks away.  He rubs the back of his neck.  I know what that means.  I sigh out anxiously.

“What’s wrong?”

He smiles.  Apparently, I’ve said something he finds humorous.

“I see you’re getting to know me a little too well these days.”

Oh.  That’s why he’s smiling.  I’m getting a better understanding of him, but I have no idea why he won’t sleep with me.  Oh, I have to quit thinking about that.

His shirtless body is starting to drive me crazier with each passing day.  His lean, sculpted muscles glisten in the sun’s light.  My body tries to recall my ogling fancy, but my stubborn peepers refuse to cooperate.

He continues with a bit of shyness when he notices my wandering eyes.

“We’ll be sharing the bed tonight.  I had to add another small bed to the cabin.  A girl from the Heflin clan and a boy from the Grafflin clan will be joining us.”

I smile unexpectedly and then wipe it from my face quickly, praying he didn't have time to notice.  I try to sound casual.

“That’s fine.  I was expecting that.  Is it going to bother you?”

He shakes his head with a smirk.  “Not at all.”

I blush lightly.  Why won’t he just put me out of my misery?  Quit looking at me like that, you damn tease.

Though my tone is a little shakier, I still aim for casualness.

“So, is this one of the girls who’s in love with you?”

He shakes his head.  “No.  She’s in love with Julius, but he’s not looking to settle down just yet.  He hasn’t ever messed with her because he knows how much she actually does care about him.  He plays with the gigglers because he finds it amusing, but he wouldn’t hurt someone who genuinely adores him.”

“Well that’s actually good to hear.”

Kace laughs.  “I told you we’re not the vicious creeps you think we are.”

“I admitted I was wrong about a lot of things already.  There’s no need for you to defend yourself anymore.”

He smiles with a very satisfied look.  “Apparently not.  That’s nice to hear as well.”

I shove him playfully, and his hand catches mine on his chest.  He’s staring at me so affectionately, and I’m lost in his steel blue eyes – his strong, demanding, soft eyes.

Lady Lust pushes every emotion to the side so she can surface without interruption.  Every nerve in my body is tingling with desire.  I swore I wouldn’t try anything else, but my lips feel the pulse of my heart burning in them – begging his lips to find them.  Why is he torturing me?

Harrison walks up and breaks up our intense moment.  His voice is laced with disappointment.

“Well, Malfus has requested the hunt be postponed.  He wants us to make sure our guests are comfortable.”

Kace nods.  Well that sucks.  I was really hoping to relieve this… tension somehow.  That hunt was going to be a wonderful outlet.  Damn it.

Abigail walks back up with a smile on her face.  “Well I guess my son has finally found the perfect girl after all.”

Kace blushes as he finally releases my hand from his chest.  I smile a little, but it’s only to mask the wave of disappointment that crashes into me.  This is fake, Arena.  Remember, this is fake.

He speaks softly to her.  “You love embarrassing me, don’t you?”

She smiles larger.  “I enjoy seeing you so happy.  It shouldn’t embarrass you for me to take notice.”

I’m starting to feel guilty for lying to her now.  She really believes we’re together, and she’s so happy about it.  Kace speaks with a quieter tone as he answers her while staring at me.

“You’re right.  It shouldn’t.”

Butterflies crash into the walls of my stomach again.  Damn him and his penetrating gazes.  She smiles even bigger now, and Joe walks up to kiss her on top of the head.  He speaks to me with his very deep tone.

“Well it’s nice to finally get to see the two of you together.  I’ve heard of how in love you two are, and I’m happy to see it for myself.”

Kace starts rubbing the back of his neck.  Abigail laughs loudly.  She knows her son is growing increasingly uncomfortable.  She pats Joe before speaking.

“Let’s leave these two alone for a bit.  I told Malfus I would help with the competition attire.  He wants to make sure the boys have very strong seams.  Last time, they had a few break open.  Goodness knows that some of those men don’t need to be exposing such things.  That poor audience was probably scarred.  I told him I would make sure they were tailored properly this year.”

I’m still blushing slightly from Joe’s mention of our being in love.  Kace takes my hand to lead me away from anyone else who might be thinking of making a fuss over us.

“I’m sorry about my mother and Joe.”

“It’s fine.  I’d rather they think we’re in love than think we’re faking like Malfus does.”

Kace smirks and stares at the ground.  “I was thinking about skipping some of the training today and just staying with you since there are so many boys here from the other clans.  I worry they might try approaching you.”

“I’ll be fine.  You shouldn’t miss training because of me.  Malfus would be upset.”

“Well, that’s not the only reason.  The thing with the cat really shook me up.  I’d feel better if I know you’re safe.”

He really is shaken up.  He’s been acting weird ever since.  I try to put his mind to ease.

“Please don’t worry.  I’m a big girl.  I’m perfectly fine.”

Kace smiles while still staring at the ground.  “Do you think you might want to watch?  I would prefer someone be there to dissuade any of the other girls from approaching.”

Shit.  I can’t watch him rolling around on the ground shirtless, sweating, and looking sexy as hell.  I’m barely hanging on as it is.  Everything in my body is fighting against me, begging me to pull his lips to mine.  Say no.  Say no.

“Yeah.  I’ll come.”  Damn you, Arena Clash!

He grins as he takes my hand again, and we make our way to the training area.  Oh, this is going to be agonizing.

I’ve been watching the training for hours.  It’s definitely heating the crowd.  This is the hottest I think I’ve ever been, and there’s a chill in the air.  Son of a bitch, this is awful.

Julius runs over to me and sits down with sweat pouring from his head.  He wipes it away as he speaks with a little breathlessness.

“I’m definitely out of shape.”

I laugh a little.  “Why is that?”

“It’s wrong to be breathing this hard after a couple hours of training.”

I take the opportunity to tease him.  “Have you not been training for the competition as amply as you should’ve been?”

He shrugs.  “I didn’t know I needed to train.  I’m not in the competition this year.”

What?  “Why aren’t you in the competition?  I thought you were the expert fighter?”

“I was banned from competition for fighting outside the ring.  A guy was about to charge Kace in order to get him banned, and I took his place.  If Kace had fought, and been banned, then we wouldn’t be winning so many.  He rarely loses.  My only shining point is the sparring.  Kace shines in all events.  Since then they’ve changed the rules.  You can defend yourself, but you will be banned if you start the fight.  It was a smart sacrifice.”

“I didn’t know you had such a soft side.”

He laughs.  “Not soft.  I told you I’m smarter than you give me credit for.”

I laugh this time.  “And I told you what a donkey with an IQ is.”

We laugh together.  My eyes do their normal traitorous dance over to Kace.  He has sweat dripping over the delicious lines of his chest and abdomen.  His shoulders are flexing as he whirls the hatchets around.

Fuck!  I have to find a new hobby.  This one is killing me.

His body is so perfectly toned as he twists from side to side.  I’m biting my bottom lip to fend off my overwhelming desire to smile.

Julius laughs at my obvious gawking and drooling.  I turn back to him and roll my eyes.  I see the Heflin girl who is going to be staying with Kace and me.  I speak in a near whisper.

“Kace told me that girl really does love you.”

He looks down in a shameful sort of manner.  “Yeah.  Poor girl.  She just thinks she loves me.  Every year she tries to win my attention, and every year I stay away.  She’s far too sweet to be loving the likes of me.”

I nudge him playfully.  “You’re not as bad as you want people to think you are.  Maybe you should talk to her.  There’s nothing wrong with getting to know her.  She may very well be the one to settle you down.”

He laughs.  “This coming from the girl who is crazy about the guy she is faking a courtship with.  It wouldn’t do much harm to tell him you really do care about him.”

Yep, I walked right into that trap without even thinking about it.  With a stolen glance toward Kace, I whisper to answer Julius.

“I basically put myself on a silver platter and he turned me down.  He reminded me this is fake.”

“What?  What did you do?”

My face spirals through a collage of red shades.  “I told him what I wanted to do and he said no.”

Julius laughs, slapping his knee while leaning over. “He gave you his whole not inside the walls speech, didn't he?”

“Essentially, yes.  And he said it was fake, but I thought we were… I don’t know.  Today hasn’t felt fake.”

Kace turns to me and smiles as someone else steps up to throw the hatchets.  He turns back around as Julius speaks.

“That’s because of the way the two of you stare at each other.  The kissing doesn’t look so phony either.  Maybe the two of you should have a real conversation about your fake relationship.  It seems to be taking on a life of its own.”

“Well, I tried.  I told him I wouldn’t attempt to touch him or mention anything else on the subject.  It’s on him now.”

Kace walks up with a smile on his face as he questions us suspiciously.  “What are the two of you whispering about over here?”

Oh shit! Don’t say him.  Don’t say him.  Julius relieves me of the burden as he answers.

“My Heflin girl.  Arena thinks I should talk to her.  She thinks I might actually like her if I take the time to get to know her.”

Kace smiles while nodding.  “Well, if she is not referring to her as an eager breeder, then obviously she has some respect for her.  It’s funny how things change.”

Julius smiles and shakes his head, obviously not wanting to continue on this road.

It’s funny how things change?  What things?

His words are confusing.  They seem to have some underlying content, and I’m baffled - per the usual.

Is he talking about his feelings?  Is he talking about me in general?  Maybe he’s just referring to the situation at hand.  I’ve got to quit overanalyzing everything.

I’m suddenly squirming around uncomfortably as I stare at Kace’s incredible body so close to mine.  He catches my staring… as usual.  Julius finally stands up.

“Well, that’s about all I can handle of the deep talk.  I need to go work out the lads some more.  I’ll see you guys later.”

After training finishes up, Kace walks with me back to the cabin.  It’s getting late, and we have to get ready for the company.  I’m so nervous about sleeping in the bed with him again.  The last time was almost unbearable.

The Heflin girl meets us as we reach the cabin.  She seems very uncomfortable and almost mousy when she speaks.

“Hey, I’m Kendall.  I was told to come find you.”

Kace opens the door for her.  “I’ve prepared a bed for you and there will be a boy joining us soon.”

She smiles and then speaks with uncertainty.  “Is Julius coming here tonight?”

I almost feel sorry for her.  She’s so honestly in love with him, and he isn’t trying to be in a courtship.  Kace smiles at her as he speaks kindly.

“I invited him to join us, but he had some training exercises to go over.”

She graciously accepts his generous lie.  Then she goes to pull out some of the clothing she brought.  Kace steps out, and I join him while she changes.  I whisper to him.

“I feel bad for her.”

“She’s a sweet girl.  Eventually Julius will see that.  If not, then she’ll find someone else.”

I cross my arms in protest.  “If she’s in love with him, then it wouldn’t be fair for her to have to find someone else just because he isn’t ready yet.  What happens if he changes his mind, and then she’s stuck with someone else?  That wouldn’t be fair to anyone involved.”

A smile spreads across his face.  “You’re certainly different from the anti-love girl I met a week ago.”

I roll my eyes.  “I wasn’t anti-love.  I was anti-breeder, and I still am.  If someone is really in love, that’s completely different.  My mother and father were in love.  I know the difference.”

One of the breeder couples crosses my mind as I continue.  “James and Grace are breeders.  They never touch or even look at each other.  The only thing they’ve done is produce strapping boys for warriors.”

He nods with tight lips.  “Some people are that way.  Some people aren’t.  Julius has some history with a broken heart.  I don’t want to share his secrets, but it kind of dissuades him from getting too close to anyone.”

I flinch slightly.  “Helena?  He’s this way because of Helena?  That’s not fair to say.  They broke up so long time ago.  There wasn’t a whole lot of heartbreak.  At least... I didn’t think there was.  She doesn’t act like this.”

“Like I said, I don’t want to tell his secrets.  I’m sure he’ll tell you his side of things one day.  He’s views you as one of his friends.  That speaks volumes about you.  Julius is very picky about who he’s friends with.”

“He considers you to be his best friend.”

Kace laughs.  “That’s because I am.  I’m the only one who can put up with his aggressive ass on a regular basis.  I’m far more laid back than most of the guys here.  If you rub Julius the wrong way, he’ll fight you without hesitation.  He’s a good guy though.”

We walk back in to get in bed.  I change into a pair of shorts and a soft tee-shirt.  He’s just wearing a pair of shorts – a pair of shorts that hang with every intention of driving me crazy.

He pulls me into his arms to make sure no one questions our courtship.  He moves my hair from my face as his lips press against mine so softly.

I feel the desire heating up inside of me.  I fight against Lady Lust as she tries for more, and my legs wrap around his body as the kiss grows in intensity.  I’m not strong enough to stop them anymore.  He has to be the one to end them, and I hate that.  I’ve always been in control, but with him, that control slips further away everyday.

He pulls back to kiss me on the head.  My lips still tingle with their insatiable appetite unsatisfied.  I curl into his body and wait for my eyes to grow heavy.  My mind races with so many confusing thoughts.  I’m lost in this man, and it scares the hell out of me.

CHAPTER 13

LOST IN THE THROES

I wake up the next morning incredibly alert.  Kace’s body is still pressed tightly against mine just as it has been for the entirety of the night.  His soft, smooth chest beckons me to touch it.

My legs are still spiraled around him, and his arms are still pulling me into his body.  His eyes are still closed, giving my eyes guilt-free access to scour his body.  His smell and sound enchant me.  I listen as he takes his even breaths.

The rest of the room is empty.  The other two guests have deserted us.  I want so badly to kiss him and see what happens when it’s just the two of us.  Would he stop me?  Is he giving me signals that he’s changed his mind?

It’s so hard to tell what I’m feeling when we only do things for show.

I carefully consider just doing it, but then I chicken out just before my lips reach his.  Over and over I try, but to no avail.  Finally, his eyes flutter open, and that beautiful smile covers his face – stopping my heart.

His hand slides up my leg.  I can feel the heat from his touch burning against me with desire.  We’re so close it seems like we’re almost the same person.  I almost feel as if I can’t get close enough.

His hand continues its journey up to my face.  His lips move closer, and I reciprocate the motion – my lips slowly drifting toward his.  My legs tighten around his waist as his hands grip firmly against my back.  I’m going to do this.

We’re finally going to give in.  We’re completely alone, and I want to know what I’m really feeling.  My legs shiver slightly from the adrenaline that has just rushed me.

A knock at the door screams spoiler alert.  Damn it!

Kace sighs as plops over on his back and answers with a hint of irritation.

“Come in.”

Julius pokes his head in.  His eyes grow wide when he sees how dangerously close Kace and I are.  His tone is obnoxiously teasing.

“Well, I guess I’m interrupting something.”

Kace laughs as he rubs his face with his hands.  I unravel my legs from his body and move over in the bed.  Then Kace speaks with a casual and less irritable tone.

“What do you want?”

Julius smiles.  “Kendall’s mom is looking for her, so I decided to come collect her.”

Kace smirks as he looks over to the bed where Kendall had slept.  “Sorry.  I guess she snuck out of here already.”

My heart sinks as I realize he didn’t know we were alone.  He had only been going to kiss me for the show.  Stupid girl.

I slip out of the bed in my fairly short shorts and move over to the stove to start the coffee.  Julius coughs in surprise.

“Wow those are some tiny shorts.  No wonder you two were suction cupped to each other.”

Kace throws a pillow at his head.  Julius laughs as he dodges it.  I just shake my head and force a smile.  I’m doing my best to hide the disappointment that has shoved Lady Lust in a closet and locked the door.

Julius speaks with a more serious tone.  “Malfus has me and some of the guys roaming the woods today to look for the breach.  Training today has been cancelled.”

“Okay.  He knows we can’t afford to get lax this close to competition time, doesn’t he?”

“He said the safety of the tribe outweighed the competition.  I agree.”

“I do too.  I’ll join you today.”

“Actually, Malfus wants you to keep an eye on the carpenters.  I think he’s a little worried about another predator attack.  He wants his golden boy here to keep an eye on the place.”

Kace rolls his eyes.  “I’ll go talk to Malfus.”

Julius smiles.  “Hey, Arena.”

“Hey.”  That’s all I can muster, and my voice cracks from that little bit.

Kace stands up and walks over to the stove where I am.  His body presses slightly against my back as he pulls a cup from over head.

“I’ll be out in just a bit.”

Julius teases him again.  “Take all the time you need.  I know I would.”

Kace just laughs as Julius shuts the door.  I can feel my face blushing.  He moves my hair to the side as he speaks in a concerned tone.

“You’re being awfully quiet this morning.  You didn’t even take a shot a Julius.  Are you feeling okay?”

I turn to him and force another smile.  “I’m fine.  Just a little tired still.”

He doesn’t seem convinced.  “Are you sure?  Have I done something to upset you?”

Yes.  You won’t fucking touch me unless it’s for show, dumbass!  Don’t say that.  Don’t say that!

“No.  I really am just tired.  I think I’ll be fine once I drink some coffee.”

He smiles with uncertainty still riddling his face.  He moves over to change in the corner.  I find it hard to turn away, but I do.  It’s insane how comfortable we are with each other, but we can’t be together.  His stupid “inside the walls” rule is pissing me off.  We have only been staying together for a few days, but it feels like months.

He runs over to grab his coffee and kisses me on the cheek.  He flinches as he does so.

“Sorry.  I’m not sure why I just did that.”

I half smile.  “It’s fine.  I know you didn’t mean to.”  I place heavy emphasis on the word know.

I really feel like an absolute idiot now.  He just apologized for kissing my cheek.

He’s still standing close to me.  I want to grab his face and pull him to me, force him to acknowledge my desire.  I start to just say to heck with it and do it, but I talk myself out of it.  I’m not in the mood for rejection this morning.  I’ve had enough disappointment on my plate.

He moves toward me and one hand rests against my side while his eyes lock with mine.  What’s he doing now?  Why won’t he just leave?

Then the door swings open again.  It’s Harrison.  He chuckles as he speaks.

“I’m going to need some help getting Julius off of Frank.  Right now Frank is begging for mercy.  Apparently, he made a snide remark about the two of you faking your relationship.  Please give me a hand before Julius mangles him for life.”

Kace smirks at me and then disappears out the door.  My whole body collapses to the ground – unable to hold the weight of my burdens any longer.

I take a deep breath as I mumble aloud.  “Girl, you had better get a hold of yourself.  That boy isn’t breaking any rules for you.”

Kace has been gone for a couple of hours, and I’m tired of being in the cabin.  I decide to go help with the green houses.  I pull down the coffee in order to make sure I’m full of caffeine before my daily excursion.

I’ll have to ask someone other than Kace to escort me.  I need some distance.  Being so close to him can’t be good for my body.

Screams erupt from outside, startling me and bringing me back to the now.  I dash outside to see two mountain lions fighting in the courtyard, a blood mound staining the ground beneath their feet.  There are two children trapped behind the quarreling beasts and my heart sinks.

What if that blood pile is from a child?

Just like with Helena, I don’t think.  I charge at the beasts that are fighting over the unidentified prey.  I pull free a knife strapped on the inside of my leg and launch it through the air.

The first beast falls to the ground, lifeless.  The other begins charging at me.  These cats have been fearless, hungry, and merciless.

I slide under a fallen tree and face the beast eye-to-eye – staring into death’s eyes.  I can see from the corner of my eyes that I’ve given the children the opportunity to escape, and a woman scoops them up and hurries their retreat.

Now it’s just me and the remaining beast, and I’m unarmed.  Fuck!

The beast is still but growling, eyes locked with mine, and tail swishing wickedly through the air.  I don’t move or even breathe.  I just keep the eye contact, daring it to charge me.  Noise from behind it spooks it and the beast runs back into the woods.

I collapse to the ground when the surging adrenaline proves to be too much.  Relief spreads through me and my whole body trembles.  The world around me fades and all I can see is Kace.

His arms grab me up and pull me to him.  My body is limp and heavy like deadweight.  He carries me back to the cabin and ushers others to leave me alone.

He places me on the bed and runs back out to talk to someone.

“Find that fucking cat now!  If I find out another one breaches those traps, I’ll have someone’s head on a stake.  And find out who the hell was supposed to be tending to those children.  This shouldn’t have happened!”

The other person simply responds with, “Yes, sir.”

Kace reappears in the room and comes to examine my leg.  The slide had skinned it up.  He shakes his head, and I can see terror forming in his eyes.

“Why the hell didn’t you call for me?”

I swallow hard, feeling like a scolded child.  “I heard the screams, and I just went to investigate.  When I saw the children…”  Oh no… the blood pile.  “What were they fighting over?”

Tears beg to escape as the horrific thought reenters my mind.

“It was a deer.  Julius had just killed it this morning.  He had it hanging for curing.  The beasts must have sought it out.”

My body relaxes and the choking need for tears subsides before the first drop is shed.  “Oh thank God.  I thought-”

“I know.  I thought the same thing.  James declared what it was when I was picking you up.  Are you okay?”

I just nod.  He continues.  “I heard the screams, but they didn’t sound any different than the gigglers squealing over the boys chopping wood.  It wasn’t until I saw Marilyn running with two kids strapped to her side that I realized what was going on.  I saw that beast staring into your eyes, and I just knew-”

I touch his face that looks almost broken.  “I’m fine.  We just had a staring contest.”  I motion to my side.  “This is my own doing.  I wanted to make sure the beast had no view of the children.  I made it follow me and turn its back.”

“Why didn’t you call for me?”

“I didn’t think that far ahead.”  I shrug innocently.  “I’m used to doing things on my own.”

He sighs and walks away from me.  “Well, it’s not like that anymore.  You don’t have to take risks like that.  I’m here.”

What?  You’re not here.  This is fake.  This man is killing me with all of his contradictions.  I have enough contradictory feelings of my own to deal with.  I don’t need his crap too.

“This isn’t real, remember?  You reminded me of that the other night when I made an absolute fool of myself.”

He scowls.  I’ve never seen him mad at me before.  Why in the hell is he mad at me now?  He has no right to be.

“So you decide to punish me for not having sex with you by continuously risking your life?”

Fuck!  That’s embarrassing as hell.  Damn you, Mr. Hot When You’re Pissed.

“No.  I was simply being the same person I’ve always been.  Someone needed help and I was there.  I’m not going to yell for help and sit on the sidelines.  It’s not who I am.  Punishing you isn’t on my agenda.  You made a choice and I think I’ve done well to respect it.  Just quit treating me like I’m a kid here.  I’ll damn rescue whoever I want.”

He laughs a little.  “You’re right.  That’s who you are – stubborn, prideful, arrogant, and insufferable.”

I scowl at him, but his eyes are dancing in a way that make me melt beneath them.  What the hell is this look?  Oh, that’s just frigging terrific.  I’m stuck here now smiling like an idiot.

I scoot over, and my side catches on my shirt.  It burns fiercely, reminding me that I’ve fucked it up.  I flinch in response, and in a flash, he’s by my side.

“What’s wrong?”

“My stupid side is killing me.”

“I’ll get some rags.”

I slide off the bed and pull out a drawer.  “I have my own solution.”

I wave the tin can that harbors my special medicine, and he smiles.  “Oh yeah.  I forgot about your canned miracle gel.”

I nod, and pull the lid free to reveal the soothing medicine.  I gently start to dab it on, but my arm is awkwardly trying to work and hold my shirt up at the same time.  He moves over to me and takes the can from my hand.

“I’ll do it.  Just lie down.”

I swallow hard.  Damn this is going to burn worse than the scraped side.  His hand dips into the medicine, and his free hand elevates my shirt – revealing almost all of my stomach to my chest.

His breathing seems interrupted, and he swallows so hard I swear he’s trying to force down a whole apple.  I try not to smile.

It’s the first time I’ve ever seen him struggle because of contact from me.  His eyes are burning as his hands work methodically over my wounds.

He draws back once he’s done and exhales loudly.  His eyes are burning into mine with more heat than any fire I’ve ever felt.  The world around us disappears.  It’s just me and him all alone in a room where anything can go wrong.

I’m scared to move, scared to breathe, and desperate to touch him.  He’s standing several feet away from me, but I can feel his teeth sinking into me and his claws digging in, pulling me into him.  He finally shakes free from the exhausting stare.

He walks over and starts to pour a cup of water.  My eyes are still glued to his back, begging him to give in.  He throws the cup down in the sink and hovers over the counter.

I jump a little in response.  What’s wrong with him?  His hands are clutching the edge of the counter and his head is hanging low.  I sit there, dumbfounded and still.  Finally I can hear him almost groaning as his eyes turn back to meet mine.

“Fuck it,” he says with such fierce intensity that it makes me almost unravel.

He stalks toward me, his eyes fueled, making my heart pound ferociously.  Only he can cause such savage desires to stir so recklessly.  Each step is deliberate, calculated, and hot as hell.

Once again, gravity works against me, pinning me to the bed.  I struggle to move, but my efforts are in vain.  I willingly fall prey to his hungry gaze, desperate to be devoured.

His body moves over mine in one smooth motion.  I don’t show any resistance as one hand finds my head and the other clutches my unwounded side.  He pulls me to his lips and releases a fire that I’ve never felt before in our kisses.

This is real.  This is him giving in.  This is … fucking incredible.

His tongue forges new trails in my mouth, and his hands explore my body.  Lady Lust materializes and takes her place as the devil on my shoulder.  He pulls back slightly and my body is reveling in its saturated desire.

“Are you sure about this?”

Am I sure?  I don’t know if I’m sure, but it’s no longer my decision.  Lady Lust is in complete control of my body as I nod.

His lips find mine again, and I relish each touch.  It’s better than I thought.  His hands touching me, clutching me, desiring me... it’s more powerful than I imagined.

I hoped this passion was just from the thrill of wanting the unattainable, but I know now that’s not the case.  I want him – every bit of him.

He pulls me harder into his kiss.  I feel his passion devouring me whole.  Nothing in my world makes sense.  My hips move instinctively to meet his, and a dull moaning noise comes from the back of his throat.  I can hear his pants sliding off, and my heart almost leaps into my throat.

Eek!  This is really about to happen.

His hands slide my shorts and underwear down in unison.  His fingers slowly trail against the inside of my leg as he reaches my feet and drops the unnecessary garments to the floor.  He moves back over me and traps my lips against his again.  He pulls back and frees himself from his shirt with one hand.

Mmm.  His body is so inexplicably perfect.  Now I feel self-conscious in comparison.  I feel awkward and meek in the presence of a Titan.  Nothing in this world could compare to this marvel.  I can hear the songs of a siren yet again, begging me to crash into his glorious body.

His hands slowly slide up my sides – gently avoiding my injured one – and freeing me of my shirt.  Definitely self-conscious now.

He smiles like the cat who ate the canary as he leans back down to lock our lips back together.

His knee moves to part my legs, and the sensation of the air sends shivers all over me.  My body is throbbing in longing desire for him.  He’s breathless when he pulls back, and my eyes are burning into his.

He bends back down to kiss my neck, then his lips trail down to my chest, and then my stomach.  I’m frozen.  Each kiss burns through me, turning my blood to lava once more.

His tongue explores my navel, and starts scaling back up until it reaches my mouth.  I’m so lost in him that I feel I’m trying to pull the breath from his lungs.  This is really happening.

There are a thousand things running through my mind as he holds me to him.  The glass of my innocence has been shattered, amazingly so.  He was so gentle; perfectly in tune with everything I needed or wanted.

After being overwhelmed by the undiscovered sensations, my whole body is a little too sensitive.  For no real good reason, I start giggling.

He narrows his eyes.  “Something funny?”

I laugh a little more.  “Not at all.  I just feel…”

I stop talking before I say something stupid and overly endearing.  His ego needs no further inflation.

He props up on his elbow and pulls a sheet over us with his free hand.  “How do you feel?”  His hand strokes my cheek affectionately.

Freed, enslaved, wild, tamed, tortured, sublime… Say fine.  Say fine!

“Perfect.”  Oh good grief.

He smiles bashfully.  “I see.  So, you’re not hurting at all?”

“No.  Why would I be?”

He chuckles lightly and climbs out of bed, leaving my question unanswered.

“Do you want something to eat?”

He’s distracting me, but my stomach growls in response.  He laughs a little as I squirm in embarrassment.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

He starts heating up his stove, and I watch in amazement.  The simplest, mundane task looks so sexy when he’s doing it.  Why am I so crazy around him?  I thought this would lessen the intensity.  Instead, it seems to only be heightened.

He turns back to me and shakes his head.  “First girl to ever make me break my rules.  I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?”

He looks worried.

“No.  Or at least, I hope you don’t.  I promise, no strings attached.  This can be as casual as you want it to be.  You’re not looking for a courtship and neither am I.”

He smiles and rolls his eyes.  “We’ll see, but for now let’s focus on food.”

He starts cooking meat and pulls down another pan from overhead.  I look down at the sheets to realize there is proof of our excursion.  Oh hell.  This is awful!

He starts laughing, only humiliating me more.  “It’s normal.”

Normal?  This is normal?  It looks like I... oh this is terrible.

He leans over to kiss me, his soft lips so much more familiar to me now.

How can he be so casual?  I wrap the top sheet over my body as I free the bed of the fitted sheet.  I put fresh sheets on the bed, and he kisses me in between my shoulder and neck.  I smile as his lips trail across my back.  This is perfect.

After we finish eating, I help him clear the table.  He’s a damn good cook.  He’s a damn good everything though.  I traipse back over to the bed and climb in.  He smiles at me.

“So… how was that?”

“The food was delicious.”

He blushes slightly.  “That’s not what I meant.”

Oh.  Well that was delicious too.  As well as incredible, sublime, amazing, extraordinary… Don’t say all that!

I grin at a chance to capitalize on his vulnerability.  I shrug as I wipe the ridiculously large grin off my face.

“I’ve had better.”

He laughs incredibly hard and shakes his head.  “I don’t think your past exploits are up for debate, biter.”

He motions to the suds soaking the scarlet petals of my innocence that are still staining the sheets – evidence of my lost virtue.  I blush instantly and bury my face in my hands.  Well that bit me in the ass. Speaking of biting…

“Biter?”

He laughs harder as he pulls his shirt back off to reveal the small bite marks on his shoulders.  Oh shit!

Again, my face gets buried.  His laughter roars freely through the cabin, and he comes to join me in the bed.  His hands grip me gently and pull me into his arms.

“It’s not like it’s the first time you’ve bitten me,” he teases.

Oh, this is so humiliating.  “I didn’t even know I was doing it this time.”

His laughter resumes and he kisses my forehead.  “I know.  I didn’t complain about it this time either.”

“No, you just felt it necessary to humiliate me.”

He tilts my head up so that my eyes are forced to connect with his.  His lips are calling to mine once more.  Every piece of my body begs to be with him.

“I’ll let you bite me again if you want to.”

I roll my eyes and shove him playfully.  He pulls me to be on top of him and he speaks without trace of teasing.

“How’s your side?”

I shrug.  “Better.  The medicine works fast.”

He grins big.  “I know.  You used it on me the last time you bit me.”

I decide to play along since he won’t shut up.  “Should I medicate these as well?”

My fingers trail lightly over his newly acquired faint wounds.  I kiss one of them and move my lips over to meet another.  I graze his chest with my lips as I make my way over to his other shoulder.

His breath becomes heavier, and I smile in response.  I kiss the other two marks and my lips trail across his neck.  Again his breath staggers.  I smile victoriously.  Well that’s one way to shut him up.

His hands grip me a little tighter as my legs straddle him.  I sit up on his lap and tighten my thighs against his body.  His eyes narrow.

“Are you really trying to seduce me so soon?”

I shrug innocently with a goofy grin spreading.  “Maybe.”

He smiles to match my cheek-splitting grin.  “I’m good with being seduced.”

My lips resume their playtime against his body.  They find those incredible grooves that carve his hips.  He squirms slightly and I smile again.  My teeth brush the top of his skin, and that’s all it takes.  He jerks me back into his arms and we pick back up where we left off.

CHAPTER 14

FORWARD OR BACKWARD

The sun peers through the window, making me stretch under the protective arms of Kace.  He stirs slightly and catches my eyes.

“Good morning.”

I smile and curl into him.  “Good morning.”

Five days have passed since our first sexcursion.  We have filled every unaccounted for moment of the days since with such activities.  He’s so unbelievably perfect, and if he didn’t have so much training, we’d probably never get out of bed.

He goes to start the coffee, and I hold the sheet over my naked body as I sit up.  I’m staring helplessly at his perfect body, covered only by the shorts he put on.  Damn those shorts.

He turns to face me and rolls his eyes.  I shrug innocently and sigh as I lean against the bed.

“I want to talk to you about something.”

I grin menacingly as I lean forward.  “I have quite a few things in mind that doesn’t require talking.”

He blushes from my bold approach.  “Well, if I didn’t really want to talk about something important, I would give into your green-eyed vixen charm.  But I really do want to talk.”

Nothing good ever comes from those words.  "All right.  You have my full attention.  What do you want to talk about?  The weather, the yard, the greenhouses-"

“Us.”  One word sends my heart spiraling out of control.

“Oh.  Okay.  What about us?”  I swallow hard in preparation.

“These past five days have been amazing, more so than I would have ever expected.  I know I said I didn’t want anything more than this, but I do.”

“What do you mean by that?”

My hands are sweating and I’m damn near scared to death.  Why is he doing this?  Everything is perfect the way it is.

“I just want to know that you’re on the same page as I am.  I want to know that this is moving forward.  I’ve never done this before, and I don’t want us to be like the relationships I’ve had in the past.”

His offer is so sweet, but this isn’t the right time.  We just started this.  Why is he already asking for more?  Don’t answer directly!

“What’s wrong with the way things are?”

“Nothing’s wrong.  That’s just it.  Everything is perfect.  That’s why I want the possibility of this being more than just sex and play.  I want to know that there’s a possibility of a future between us.  I want to know everything about you, and I want to be able to look ahead.  I don’t want to plan for the moment.  I want this to be something much more.”

No.  Why is he doing this?  Everything is perfect the way it is.

“I don’t know if I can tell you what you want to hear right now.  I like things the way they are, and I’m not in a hurry to change them.  You said you didn’t ever want to move in this direction.  Can you at least give me a minute to enjoy the moment we’re in before you change the rules?”

He shakes his head and pain floods his eyes.  You’d think I just ended a five year relationship.  I’m not ending anything, and we’ve only been together for five days.

“No.  I need an answer now.  I don’t want to be the fool chasing after you if you don’t want any more than this.”

Holy crap.  “It’s been five days.  I can’t base a decision off of five days.”

“I can.  If I can and you can’t, then this is obviously more important to me.  You can’t have two people in different places when you’re in a relationship.  Either choose forward, or we have to go back to just the fake courtship.  I can let myself continue on this path knowing you don’t feel the same.”

What the hell has happened to him?  Five days ago he was worried about me getting too attached and here he is giving me an ultimatum.

“So it’s forward or backward?”

“Yes.”

“There’s no option for the paradise that is the middle?”

He sighs loudly, knowing what is about to happen.  “No middle, paradise or not.”

Tears fight themselves back.  Why can’t I just say yes?  What’s wrong with me?  I want to be with him, but I don’t want to be forced into such.  Has pride and fear pushed everything else to the side and taken over?

“Then I have no choice but to choose backward.  I’m not ready to move forward yet.”

Resentment, pain, and disappointment wash his face clean of all other emotions.  He clears his throat as he stands up.

“I’m sorry you feel that way.”  He disappears out the door, leaving me alone in the cabin with nothing more than the stench of burnt coffee.

Everything was perfectly fine, and now I’ve ruined it all.

Then brilliance pushes aside everything else.  I’ll just continue to seduce him.  Eventually he’ll have to give in, and we can forget this dispute ever happened.  It’s genius.

CHAPTER 15

I'M YOUR GIRL

Two days have passed since our argument, and my genius, foolproof plan to seduce him has proven me a fool.  I’ve done everything except walk around naked, and that hasn’t been ruled out yet.  Yes, I’m that desperate.

He barely comes to the cabin, and when he does, his eyes never stray to me.  Mr. Hot As Hell has turned into Mr. Cold As Ice.  I’m annoyed, exasperated, and sexually frustrated – very sexually frustrated.

I’ve gone twenty-two years without such physical contact, and now I’m going bat-shit crazy without it.

Loose mouths dropping aggravated profanities ring in from outside as a ruckus stirs beyond the door.  I race outside to see what in the hell is going on.

My mother comes up to push me away.

“Stay back.  We have to get some of the boys into quarantine.”

I look at her peculiarly.  “What’s the matter?”

She rolls her eyes.  “Several of the men have acquired chicken pox.  We have to constrict them to isolation before they infect the whole tribe.  You and your sister had them when you were younger, so you should be okay.  I’m not willing to risk it though.  We have bigger problems now.”

I start to question that when Malfus walks up.  His hands are tangled in his salt and pepper hair and despair stains the small, defined lines of his lightly aged face.

“How many of the competitors?”

My mother responds very informatively.  "Over half of the competitors going have been infected.  Maverick has been infected too.  Most of the other warriors have been infected as well.  I don't know how so many missed the outbreak that infected my girls when they were younger."

He grabs his head tighter.  “This is a disaster.”

I feel so confused.  “There are still a couple weeks before the competition.  They should be fine by then.”

Malfus shakes his head.  “Any competitor who enters the competition has to be disease free for three months.  An outbreak like this is catastrophic.  None of them can attend.”

My eyes instantly spot Kace as he walks toward us.  He doesn’t even glance at me.  He just speaks to Malfus and pretends I don’t exist.  Mr. Frigid is a bitch.

“Johnny has volunteered to fill in for Henry.  He has excellent speed, so he’ll serve us well in the race.  I’ve found replacements for some of the other positions as well, but I have no one in mind for all around.”

Malfus nods appreciatively toward him.  “Thank you for tending to this.”

I look at Malfus so that I don’t address Mr. Frigid directly.

“What is an all around exactly?”

Malfus speaks with distraction as his mind races for a solution.  “It’s someone who can be in most all of the events.  Each team has to have two in order to even qualify.  Kace is one of ours, but Maverick has been infected.  I can’t think of anyone who can replace him.”

He turns back to Kace to shrug in disbelief.

I speak up again with a smile.  “I’m your girl.  I can handle every weapon around.  I can enter the competition and be of some use.  I’ve heard of girls doing it before.”

Keeping his eyes on Malfus, Kace answers, “Yeah, but only in the selective challenges.  There has never been a female all around.  It’s too-”

“I can do it.  It seems to me there aren’t really any better options,” I interrupt.

Malfus rubs his chin with his hand as if he’s mulling over my offer.  Then he speaks as if he’s intrigued by the idea.  “Can you throw a hatchet?”

“It was one of the first things I mastered.  I’m good with swords, whips, blowguns, and slingshots too.  I’m not as good as Helena at crossbow, but I’m still pretty accurate.”

Malfus smiles to display the inspiration that has just struck him.  “We can use Helena as a selective candidate for crossbow.”

Kace nods with a forced smile, his whole body stiffening as Malfus gives my offer more consideration.  Then Malfus turns back to me.

“What about a spear?  Do you have any expertise with that?”

There’s a spear sticking into the ground just in front of us.  I walk over to it and pull it out, turning for a second to flash an of-course-I-can grin.  I turn back and launch it across the yard, sticking it into the center of one of the targets.  Dusting my hands off, I smirk when I whip back around.

“I’ve dabbled with spear throwing.”

Kace smirks slightly at my surprising delivery.  Then he quickly covers it with a serious face.  He addresses Malfus and concern rings out clearly.

“The sparring wouldn’t be acceptable.”

Malfus nods, seeming to agree with him.  I'd like to kick both of their asses to show them how acceptable my sparring is.  I’m really starting to get pissed off by the way they keep underestimating me.

“I can fight just as well as any man here.  My father taught me how to defend myself long ago.  I can fight.”

Malfus shakes his head.  “These men are beasts, Arena.  They triple you in weight, and they have years of skill.  It’s the only reason women do not compete in all around.  It is far too risky.”

“Let me prove it.  Bring anyone out here... except for Kace.”

A ghost of a smile graces Kace's lips, but once again, he quickly wipes it away.  That’s twice Mr. Frigid has let a grin escape.  Perhaps he’s finally melting.

Malfus seems even more intrigued.  “Very well then.”

He calls to one of the guys still in the competition.  Then he points to me.  The guy seems a little disturbed by the request, but he does as he’s told.

With a reluctant stride, he charges at me.  I dodge him effortlessly, tripping him up while spinning around, and put my foot against his throat as he lands on his back with a grunt and a thud.  Malfus smiles bigger.

“Well, it seems as if we have a candidate for all around after all.”

Kace lets a smirk free against his attempts to suppress it.  I might be able to have some fun with this.  If my skills are exciting him, then I won’t hold back.

Malfus breaks my mind free of its scandalous thoughts.

“Kace and Julius will train you.  You need to run down the list of all the activities, and they’ll examine what needs the most work.”

Kace’s eyes grow wide, suddenly tainted by an awkward tension in his posture.  He knows he can’t object without giving away our secrets though.  Gotcha in my web now, Mr. Frigid.

He tightens his lips and motions for me to follow him.  Julius joins us promptly and flashes me a grin.  He most likely knows about our issues by now.  I’m sure Kace has confided in him.  Stupid bro-mance.

We reach the bottom of the hill and Kace tosses me a whip.  “How good are you?” he asks with his very stern, no-nonsense tone.

I shrug as I reply with all the innuendo I can.  “I don’t know.  You tell me.”

He fights hard to hold back a smile.  Julius seems oblivious to my taunting remark.

“We’re definitely going to have to work on sparring, so we don’t need to see that.”

My moment of victory vanishes as I turn to face Julius.  “Why do you automatically assume my sparring needs work?”

He holds his hands up innocently.  “Whoa.  I’m not trying to piss you off.  You’re not going to be fighting one or two guys a day.  There’re going to be five or six matches a day and you’re going to be competing in other events as well.  What I guess I should say is that we’re going to focus mostly on your stamina.”

Opportunity strikes again, and I look Kace dead in the eyes.  “I’ve never had complaints about my stamina in the past.”

Kace rolls his eyes, but he’s unable to fight his smirk this time.  Julius catches on to the not so hidden innuendo as well.

“That’s just gross.  I liked it better when you two were just eye-fucking each other.”

Well that’s pretty much what it has reverted back to.  Actually, I haven’t even had that much action lately.

Kace tries to turn and muffle his snickers.  I shrug innocently at Julius.  He just rolls his eyes and points to the targets lined up along the edge.

“The trick is to hit the targets in order.  You can see that the numbers below each loose piece are not sequential.  This adds the degree of difficulty.  If you hit one out of order by accident, you lose a point.  Now how good are you with a whip?”

He made sure to add whip, as his mind has no doubt wandered back to Kace’s question and found the innuendo in my answer.

I smile and turn to face the targets.  “Let’s see.”

I lash the whip and start popping off the targets in perfect order without a single slip.  Then brilliance strikes once I’ve rendered all the targets disposed.

I turn to face the unhinged jaws of Kace and Julius.  I smile victoriously and whirl the whip to meet them.  I slice Kace’s shirt from collar to hem without so much as grazing his skin.  Then I repeat the action on Julius’s shirt.  Both of their shirts fall open and their look is priceless.

I smile deviously directly at Kace.  “How was that for you?”

Kace swallows hard, and Julius turns to him with absolute fear in his eyes.

“That’s too fucking hot for me to have to endure again.  Malfus said we could work on different things with her.  How about you take whips?”

Kace narrows his eyes at me and smirks.  He turns back to Julius and shrugs.

“Yeah… about that… you’re on your own.”

He quickly darts away, and Julius yells at his back.

“Kaceton!  Get your ass back down here now!”

Kace ignores him as he sprints away.  That chicken.  Julius turns back to be twitching his finger.

“No more whips.  We’ll move on to something a little less… hot.”

“Blow-darts?”  I say innocently with a shrug.

“Fuck my life.  No.  Definitely not blow-darts.”

I chuckle as he hands me a hatchet and walks away stiff-legged.  Maybe Kace is a little stiff-legged as well.

Malfus interrupts our practice with a bit of heavy breathing.  Apparently, he’s been involved in the training exercises as well.

“We have to travel outside of the wall today.  The timing is awful, but there’s a storm coming.  Those predators will be scampering around for shelter.  If we don’t find that breach, we could be in for more than just the big cats.  Kace is leading a party, and he sent me to ask for you.”

Kace sent the chief on an errand?  Unbelievable.  Julius answers without hesitation.

“Yeah.  I’ll be there in a minute.”

“This may take a couple of days, so bring your gear.”

A couple of days?  I can’t go that long without seeing Kace.  “I want to go too.”

Once again, my mouth has gone rogue.  I do want to go though.  I need to be with him.  Not having him close to me is killing me.

“That’s up to Kace.  I’ve given him full authority on this mission.”

That frigid ass isn’t going to let me go.  He won’t even come to the cabin.  I’ll just have to force him to let me go.

I climb the hillside and sprint to his cabin.  He’s pulling a shirt on when I barge in.  He turns to face me with curious eyes.

"You need to be training," he says coolly.

Crossing my arms and narrowing my eyes, I murmur, “I’m going with you on your wall search expedition.”

He scoffs, “I don’t think so.  You’ll stay here and train for the competition you were so desperate to enter.”

“I’m not some mousy, docile woman you can boss around.  I want to go with you.”

He lets an incredulous laugh free while rolling his eyes.

“Oh believe me, Arena Clash, I have a number of ways to describe you, but mousy and docile don’t make the list.”

He turns back away.  “What does make the list, Kaceton Brice?”

He turns back and gets too close to me, bringing back that delicious fire and ice I've missed. “Insufferable, maddening, exasperating, and that’s if I’m feeling charitable.”

He smirks as he mocks a similar sentiment I once shared with him about Malfus.  That cocky ass.

“Please let me go.”

He rolls his eyes.  “You really do need to train.  Why do you want to go so badly?  It’s going to be boring and tiring.  I can assure you that you won’t be missing much.”

I’ll be missing you.  “I haven’t ever traveled outside of the walls.  I think now is as good a time as any.”

“Well, it’s not.  I’ll need to devote my attention to the task at hand - not deal you trying to seduce me.”

Well he’s obviously noticed my numerous attempts.  His smirk reappears and he turns away again to pack his bag.

“I promise I’ll be good.  No attempts to seduce Mr. Frigid.”

His eyes cut toward mine with pain.  “Mr. Frigid?  That’s how you view me?  Arena, I told you I wanted to be with you on a deeper level than just sex and games, and you said you couldn’t.  You chose backwards.  Don’t confuse wounded, broken, or humiliated with frigid.  That’s the first time I’ve ever offered a girl more, and you just dismissed it as though it was a common thing for me to toss about.”

So this is about pride?  All of this is over his fucking pride?  I frigging hate the male ego.

“I’m supposed to crumble at your feet just because you’ve never done that before?  You gave me an ultimatum without any chance of compromise.  It was your way or no way.  I simply wanted to enjoy the moment we were in.”

He steps up to be in front of me.  “I simply wanted you, more than you wanted to give away.  This was your choice.  I put it all out there.  I’m sorry that I want the possibility that we can move forward.  Maybe it was an ultimatum, but it wasn’t an irrational request by any means.”

He throws his bag over his shoulder as he storms out.  I chase behind him.  “Please let me come.”

His silence is my answer.  Now I have to sit and wait.  I’ll be alone with my thoughts, and they are torturous.  There won’t be any schemes for seduction.  Nothing will distract me from the truly agonizing pain I feel.  Two miserable fucking days.

CHAPTER 16

THE TWISTING KNIFE

I’ve been forced to sit around thinking for two days, and it has truly been incredulous.  I haven’t changed my position on the forward offer.  I want things to stay uncomplicated and fun.  I’m not ready to become so deeply involved.

Why is this so insanely hard?  I want to be with him, and he wants to be with me.  Why can’t that just be enough without complicating things?

I do my reluctant zombie walk to the bottom of the hill to resume my training session.  I’ve already completed over half a day’s worth.  One of the speckled up drooling goons is waiting to help me with crossbow.

I’m furious with Helena for cancelling on me today, leaving me to the mercy of this oaf.

Besides sitting alone in the cabin with nothing but my loneliness, training is all I do with my time.  Julius gave me strict instructions to run for at least two hours a day.  Running is way too hard.  It leaves me just as alone with my thoughts as the damn cabin does.  I can’t run fast enough to escape them either.

I pick up the crossbow and grit my teeth, trying to expel the lingering thoughts.  My arrow goes wide right, missing the target completely.  Damn it.  I can’t focus right now.

“You have hold the crossbow with the same finesse you do any weapon.  You’re far too tense.  Don’t let it intimidate you.”

I'm not intimidated; I'm distracted.

His hands move around me to adjust my stance.  Gross.  This mongrel is definitely feeling me up right now.  I roll my eyes and shrug him off me.

Just when I’m about to blast him for his advances, the bone-chilling sound I have so often dreaded hearing echoes across the tribe.

The horns of distress wail loudly, telling us something has gone wrong.  No!  Kace!  Please God no!

I drop the crossbow and fly up the hillside.  The gate is just behind the Shaylan camp.  I run faster than I ever have before.  As soon as I reach the gate, they’re opening it.

So many of our warriors are holding each other up.  Bloody, exposed wounds make me gasp from their horrific sights.  What the hell happened?

I run over to Harrison, but his eyes reveal a dark secret I’m not prepared to hear.  He doesn’t say a word, but he shakes his head.  I feel like a knife has just been plunged into my heart.

No.  This can’t be happening.  The sick feeling in my stomach overwhelms me.  The knife twists deeper and my heart tries to explode.

I haven’t cried since I was a nine-year-old girl that realized she had just lost two years of memories of her father.  I have never given the tears the chance to devour my cheeks again… until now.

The vengeful tears break free from barricade that has held them at bay for over a decade and flow feverishly, scalding my cheeks as their flow extends to my neck.  This can’t be real.

Wake up, Arena.  Wake up now!

My nightmare continues as sobs explode from all around.  Everything in my body goes limp and swirls of light turn to shadows of darkness.

I scream without even realizing it.  “NO!”

I wake up on the bed inside Kace’s cabin.  I apparently blacked out, and now it’s dark outside.  I guess it was later than I thought when we got the news.

I look over to see Harrison and Helena asleep on the second bed.  I gently tug on Harrison’s arm to wake him.

His eyes lift and surprise fills them.

“Oh thank God,” he exclaims.

I hold my finger over my mouth and my eyes point to Helena.  “Shh.”

He nods, and then he follows me outside so I can question him.  “What the hell happened?”

The tears reappear with their burning curse.  He shakes his head, fighting tears of his own.

“We were ambushed.  We were inspecting the wall, and Kace heard something behind us.  He turned to face whatever it was, and there were suddenly arrows raining down on us from all around.  We never even saw any faces.  Kace pushed us back and told us to go.  So many of our men were getting hit from every angle, there was too much going on at once.  I found myself dragging two out of the line of fire.  When I went back to help Kace and Julius, they were gone.

“I don’t know where they went, but they took the firing brigade with them.  I searched for hours and hours, but I couldn’t find even a trace of where they might have gone.  We had too many injured to search anymore.  Anyone who could walk was dragging someone behind them.  Two men died out there.”

His voice chokes up and he has to stop.  My heart sinks and finds hope all at once.

“So it’s possible they’re still alive?”

Harrison’s lips tighten.  “I don’t know.  There were a lot of arrows coming from a lot of men.  Every able man is leaving out at daybreak to see if we can find them.  Malfus has already taken scouts out on horseback.  He ordered me to stay behind until you woke up.”

“I’m going out there now.”

“You can’t see at night, Arena.  Going out there now is suicide, especially considering what I witnessed.  There were a lot of bows behind those arrows.  There’s no telling what you might run into at night.”

“I don’t give a fuck what I run into.  I’m not going to sit here and wait.  I’ll scale the wall if I have to, or you can help me out.  Either way, I’m finding him tonight.”

“Fine.  But you’re not going alone.  I’m going too.”

I just nod and grab my bow, my arrows, and my knives.  I strap up as if I’m going to war.  From the sounds of it, I may very well be.

Harrison opens the gate and nods to a guy standing inside to close it once we’re out.  Harrison looks over to me.

“You know how dangerous this is?”

I look back at him.  “You’re welcome to back out.  I’ve never had a problem doing things on my own.”

He smirks.  “I’m going to find my friends.”

“Well then, let’s quit discussing it and start doing it.”

He smiles and grabs a torch.  I take one as well, and we begin making our way to the outside.  We barely get out of the gate when I see two silhouettes in the darkness.  I almost panic, but then relief spreads through me.

Fuck!  It’s him!

Kace is standing right in front of me, barely distinguishable by the flickering light of the torches.  His eyes lock with mine, and I forget everything else.  I run toward him, dropping everything along the way.

He throws all of his supplies to the ground and opens his arms to catch me as I launch myself at him.  My legs wrap around his waist and my lips instantly find his.  I taste the grit from the dirt that covers his face, but it’s the best taste in the world at that moment.

I know he has to be exhausted, possibly hurt, and weakened, but that doesn’t stop him from clutching me tightly to him.  Our feverish embrace continues until Julius chimes in with his sulking humor.

“Yeah.  I’m fine too.”

Kace and I both laugh through our kiss.  I slide down and reach over to hug Julius.  He hugs me back and I can feel the fear he’s trying to mask.  If Julius is scared, it had to have been bad.

“I’m glad you’re okay too, Julius.”

He shrugs.  “Was there ever any doubt?”

The damn vengeful tears dance free once more and parade themselves on my cheeks.  There was too much painful doubt.

“Whoa, baby Clash.  Easy.  We’re okay,” Julius says in order to console me.

He’s as equally baffled by my flooding face as Kace.  To tell the truth, I’m a little baffled by it as well.

“Hey.  It’s okay.  We’re fine.”  Kace’s soothing voice is enough to make the tears flow harder.

I’m spiraled back around him before I even realize it.  He kisses me through the tears and their salt tingles against my tongue.

Harrison walks over and hugs Julius.  “I’ve been so worried about you two.”

Julius responds, considering Kace’s lips are otherwise engaged.  “I’m glad you guys got out.  We were worried they wouldn’t follow us, but apparently they were easy to mislead.”

Kace lowers me back to the ground, his arms still wrapped tightly around me.  “We need to let Malfus know we’re back.”

Harrison shakes his head.  “You must have missed him.  He and some of the others are out scouting on horseback.  He has a full army prepared to launch at daybreak.”

Kace tilts his head.  “He’s scouting at night?”

Harrison nods.  “Yeah.  He said he wasn’t going to leave you two out there all alone.  They’ve been gone for hours.”

Hours?  How long was I out?  Kace examines my head very attentively.

“What happened here?”

I wince slightly as he touches a sore spot on my head.  “It’s not important.  What happened to you?”

He ignores my question and looks to Harrison for more information about my meaningless bump.

“She-”  My murderous glare warns him to drop it, causing him to pause, but he ultimately ignores my silent threat.  “She passed out when we came back without you.  She took a nasty blow to the head.  No one was close enough to catch her.”

Kace’s eyes burn into mine, confusion and possibly some twisted sense of excitement teeming in his perfect blues.  “You were that upset?”

My eyes continue to stream their relentless flow of tears.  “Of course I was.  Now tell me-”

My words are halted by the firmly soft lips silencing me.  His hands pull me tighter into the kiss, inhaling me with his mouth.  He picks me back up and my hands trail up his arms until something wet distracts me.  I pull back to examine the large amount of blood staining my hands.

“You’re bleeding.”

He kisses me softly and puts me back down.  “It’s just a scratch.”

“There’s blood all over your arm.”

My voice is shaky and panicked.  He tilts my head back up to where my eyes meet his.  He shrugs playfully.

“It’s a big scratch.”

Harrison laughs a little, but then his laughter is soured quickly as reality sets back in.

“It’s amazing you guys are standing out here right now.”

Kace tilts his head.  “What are you two doing out here?”

It’s as if he’s just realized we’re standing outside the gate.  He glares at Harrison.

“Arena insisted she go in search of you.  I wasn’t letting her go alone.  I had every intention of making the venture myself, so we teamed up.  Malfus made me stay behind to make sure she was okay when she woke up.  Like I said, it was a nasty fall.”

Kace shakes his head at me.  “Are you crazy?  You can’t go gallivanting into the night with those monsters out there.”

His voice crackles and pain reemerges.  He exhales deeply to fight off the surge of emotions.  He turns back to Harrison.

“How many wounded?”

Harrison tightens his lips.  “More than I care to mention.  I barely had any scratches.  I don’t know how I managed that, but it came in handy.  I drug as many men up the ridge as I could.  I tried to find you guys.  I searched for hours.”

Harrison sounds so guilty.  Julius pats him on the shoulder, trying to relieve him from the burden he doesn't deserve to carry.

“We didn’t want you to find us.  We wanted you to do exactly what you did.  You got the men to safety.  We needed the arrow launching fiends to follow us, so we drew their fire by sending some of our own.

“We used every arrow on us and every other weapon soon after.  We found refuge in a small cave hidden beneath the surface.  We heard them pass over us, and we stayed there until we knew it was clear.  They’re riding south now.  I don’t know what the hell they wanted.”

Harrison sighs out deeply.  “I need to go tell Helena you’re okay.  She’s been worried.  Kendall needs to know as well.  She’s been a wreck, unable to sleep.  She’s staying in the banquet hall.”

Julius slaps him on the back, seeming to be comforted by the fact that people have been worried about him too.

“I’ll tell Kendall, you can tell Helena.”

Harrison smiles at him.  “You sure you can handle an emotional girl in love with you?”

Julius shrugs.  “After what I just went through, it’s going to feel good to be around someone that gives a damn.”

Kace looks down at me.  “I agree with that.”

I hug him tighter.  Julius starts to walk off, but he turns back to Kace.  “Thanks for having my back, man.”

Kace smiles.  “Thanks for having mine.”

Julius nods and yells at the gate.  “Kaleman, you had better open this damn gate.  If I have to stand here a minute longer, I’ll beat your ass to a pulp.”

I laugh a little and Julius turns to shrug.  “It’s the easiest way to let him know it’s me.”

The gate slowly peels open and a rush of people assemble.  Gasps of disbelief and relief sound off one-by-one.

“Kace!”  Mary screams out and rushes up to hug him.

Get your fucking hands off my man, you bitch.  I stand there with my fists clenched at my side.  Kace pulls her off of him very gracefully.

“I’m fine, Mary.”

His arms find their way back around me and it takes all my strength not to stick my tongue out at her like a four-year-old would.

I hear loud screaming coming from behind the pack before Abigail emerges.  She almost snaps Kace forward in an effort to hug him.

He laughs a little as he releases me completely.  “I’m fine, Mom.  I promise.  I just really want to bathe, eat something, and go to bed.”

She pulls back and stares at him.  “I have all sorts of things cooked.  My hands couldn’t be left idle.  I’ll drop off anything you want me to.”

She smiles at me and snaps me forward before I realize what the hell is going on.  I pat her compassionately.  I can only imagine the strain she’s been under these past several hours.  I have apparently been unconscious during all of it.

Kace rubs his mother’s back and she hugs him again.  “I’ve been so damn worried out of my mind.  What happened?”

"It’s a long story we can hash out tomorrow.  I’m safe and sound.  I just really need a bath, food, and a soft bed," he murmurs softly, repeating his exhaustion.

She smiles affectionately at her son.  “I understand, but I want a full debriefing tomorrow – noon at the latest.”

He salutes her playfully and she slaps his stomach.  He laughs a little as we start making our way back to the cabin.  People keep popping up to examine him with their own eyes.  It takes us five times as long to return to the cabin.

When we finally do arrive, Abigail has already placed a large basket full of food on the table.

“Well she didn’t waste any time,” Kace says with a chuckle.

I’m tired of wasting time.  “Forward.  I choose forward.  I don’t ever want to be without you again.”

Tears pour out once more.  There’s apparently not a shut off valve for these absurd waterworks once they start flowing.

His eyes soften and he rushes to kiss me once again.

“I’ll be with you anywhere you want to be.  I’ll spend the rest of my life in the middle if that’s what it takes.  I decided that when I thought I’d never have the chance to see you again.  You don’t have to go forward until you’re ready.”

I smile at him, my emotions still tethered to my sleeve.  “I am ready.  I didn’t know how ready I was until this moment.  I don’t ever want to lose you.”

His mouth seals mine, igniting the flames of lust's fury within, but our moment is interrupted by Helena stirring.

Oh shit!  I forgot she was in here.

We both laugh a little as Harrison walks in.  “I figured I’d come get my woman.  Sorry.  In all the commotion I almost forgot where I left her.”

Kace and I both laugh at him.  He scoops her up and winks at us.  Then Harrison diligently carries his sleeping beauty out the door.

Kace shrugs.  “She’s a hard sleeper.”

“When she’s worried, her body’s natural instinct is to become comatose.”

He laughs a little as he starts drawing the bath.  A knock at the door distracts us.  Kendall pokes her head in, and her eyes widen when she sees Kace.

“They’re back?” she gasps.

“Yeah, Julius was going to the banquet hall to find you.”

“I’ve been walking around for the past few hours.  I didn’t know they were back.  He’s looking for me?”

Her disbelief is so heartwarming.  “Yes.  Come on.  I’ll help you find him.”

I look back to Kace who seems disappointed.

“I’ll be right back,” I say reassuringly.

His shoulder’s drop and he nods.  “Please don’t be long.”

He sounds so sweet and genuine right now.  It’s all I can do to walk off.  I quickly dart back in to kiss him again.  His hands find their way to my back and pull me tighter.  He finally pulls back.

“Hurry back.”

I smile at him.  “I promise.”

I disappear out the door, and take Kendall’s hand.  It takes us a while to find Julius.  He looks so discouraged, sitting all alone on one of the picnic tables.  I motion for Kendall to walk around the side, and I sit down beside him.

“Why are you out here all alone?”

His head jerks around to see me, proving I’ve just startled him slightly.  Relaxing a little, he shrugs.

“Kendall must have given up and gone home.  I couldn’t find her in the banquet hall.”

I smile playfully.  “That’s because she was coming to see if I had heard anything yet.”

He tilts his head.  “You’ve seen her?”

I nod and suddenly he hears her running toward him.  Her arms wrap around him with a longing embrace.  He willingly returns the embrace, and for the first time in a long time, I see truth in his eyes.  He genuinely does care about her, and the heartwarming moment is enough to make me feel proud.

I smile as I quickly make myself scarce, leaving the two alone with nothing but time to talk and possibly spark something more than a respectful friendship.

Abigail stops me when I pass in front of the banquet hall.  “Arena?”

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing out here?”

I smile a little.  “I was helping two people find their way to each other.”

She smiles at me.  “Julius and Kendall I assume.”

Damn, she’s good.  “Yeah.”

“I just wanted to tell you thank you.  Harrison told me that you were hell-bent on tracking down my son tonight.  I didn’t know you had left the tribal grounds.  It lets me know how very well cared for Kaceton is.”

She stops as tears roll down her face.  In an effort to console her lingering fears, I wrap my arms around her.  Though it’s awkward for me to show others affection, I can tell she needs this.

“I do care about him.”

“I know you do, dear.  I know so more now than I did before.  Make sure he eats tonight.  He’s bad about crashing when he’s tired.”

I laugh a little.  “He’s pretty hungry.  I’m sure that won’t be a problem tonight.”

She laughs as she wipes her tears.  “Thank you, Arena.”

“My pleasure.”

I walk back into the cabin to see the beautiful Mr. Sexy As Hell walking around in a towel.

“Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”  I playfully seduce.

He laughs a little.  “Those aren’t quite my scandalous intentions.”

He pulls me to his chest and kisses me fervently.  The towel is the only thing separating me from him right now, and that’s burning me alive.  His lips continue to press against mine, and the need in his breath matches mine.  I need him, and he needs me.

What is this?  Is this forward already?

He scoops me up, and places me on the bed.  I stare at him, helplessly captivated.  Finally, I shake free from the moment.

“Your mom gave me strict orders to make sure you ate.”

He smiles mischievously.  “I stopped listening to my mother before I even hit puberty.”

Against my will, a smile forms.  He’s so cute when he’s like this.  I like Mr. Rebellious.  I quickly shake free again and leap from my place on the bed.  He laughs as I motion for him to sit at the table.

He humors me and takes a seat while I pull out a sealed jar of soup and a loaf of bread.  I pour the soup in a bowl and hand him a spoon.

“Have you eaten anything?” he asks as he takes the first bite.

“I was… a little unconscious.”

He frowns slightly.  “I’m sorry you were so worried.”

I can’t have this conversation right now.  The tears have just subsided, and I’m not strong enough to fight off another attack.  Change the subject.  Change the subject.

I quickly grab some of the bread and sit down beside him.  “It looks as if it might rain tomorrow.”

He smirks slightly at my quick subject change.

“It smells of rain out there.  That’s one of the reasons we knew we couldn’t stay all night in that cave.  It’s a trap for water.  It’s fortunate the weather has been so dry lately, otherwise that cave wouldn’t have been an option.”

Damn it!  The tears are starting to come back.  Why did he have to say that?

He looks in my eyes and quickly pulls my lips to his – silencing my inner turmoil instantly.

He lifts me up from the table and places me back in the bed.  I don’t fight him this time.  The damn soup can just get cold.  I need him right now.

The fire surges through me, as once again, insanity pours into my mouth, trickles down with a slow caress, and roams freely through the rest of my body.  He’s mine, and whether I like it or not, I’m his.

CHAPTER 17

SHATTERING THE LIES

Kace’s arms are wrapped around me, and as always, my body is spiraled around him like the red stripe on a candy cane.  He’s smiling at me with his Mr. Perfect grin.

“Well, we’ve made it five days forward.  Was it as bad as you thought it would be?”

I roll my eyes as I give him a soft kiss.  I escape the temptation of his perfect body by casually rolling out of bed before he stares at me for too long with those mesmerizing, hypnotic eyes.  The five days since his accident have been nothing but nonstop perfection.

If it wasn’t for training, we would never leave the bed.  The rain has been pouring lightly for the past few days, but today it’s really coming down.

“I think it may very well be impossible to train in this.  There’s no way we can shoot an arrow or throw anything precisely against that rain.”

He laughs a little.  “No.  There won’t be any training today, but we can go for a run.”

My eyes peer up quizzically.  “Run?  In this rain?”

“Running in the rain is actually excellent for strength training.  You have to work harder to maintain your balance and to keep an even pace.  The mud makes for excellent resistance training as well.”

“The rain also makes you really wet, and the mud makes you really dirty.  We have the banquet tonight.”

His head falls back in exasperation.  “Oh yes.  I forgot about the damn survivor’s banquet.  It seems rather insensitive, considering the loss of two of our men.”

“We’ve had the memorial service to honor the lives lost.  Now we would like to have a party to appreciate the lives of the brave, honorable, and noble men who made it back home.   I would like to go and honor you.”

He smiles devilishly as he climbs out of bed and his mouth moves to mine.  “That seems like an interesting concept.”

“Okay, Mr. Sexy As Hell.  Let’s go for that rainy run.  I think we might need to cool off if we’re to get anything done today,” I say while laughing.

His eyes cock up in surprise.  “Mr. Sexy As Hell?  Now that’s a term of endearment I can get behind.”

I laugh even harder as he pulls me into his arms.  A knock at the door jars us out of our playful wrestling.

Kace rolls his eyes as he returns to the bed and plops onto his back.  “Come in.”

We’re both a little startled when Kendall peeks in.  Her cheeks instantly flush, and I adjust my shorts to be lower.  Kace sits up and tilts his head to express his bemusement.

“Kendall?  Is everything okay with Julius?”

“He’s fine.  I actually came to speak to the both of you.”

Kace scoots to the end of the bed to give her his undivided attention.  He only looks away long enough to pull me beside him.  His arm drapes around my waist so lazily, but the warmth in his touch is always so enchantingly distracting.

She speaks with her usual soft, mousy tone.  “I came to bring you both something.”  She looks at me and smiles.  “Arena, you’ve been absolutely wonderful to me.  Julius told me all the sweet things you said to encourage him to talk to me.  He’s still not ready for anything, but it’s good to know I have someone like you on my side.  It means the world to me actually.  Julius really respects you a lot, so I was thrilled to know you thought so highly of me.”

I shrug.  “Of course, Kendall.  I think you would be good for Julius.  I think any man should be so lucky to receive the attention you give solely to him.”

She almost dives on me to hug me.  I’m caught off guard by the rushing embrace, and Kace seems to be smiling at my discomfort.  She so sweet though, so I can’t just brush her off.

She pulls back smiling and turns to Kace.  “I wish I had known Arena was going out there that night.  I would have gone too.  I want you to know that I really do care about Julius, and I want to thank you for being there with him.”

“He was there for me just as much as I was there for him.  He’s the best friend I’ve ever had.”

She smiles a little bigger now as she pulls something from her bag.  “I made these for you.”

She hands us two small glass figurines carved with faces – our faces.  The detail is extraordinary.  Mine is of Kace and his is of me.  I look at her with astonishment and completely dazzled eyes.

“These must have taken you forever.”

She shrugs.  “Glass is my trade.  I’ve always loved the things you can do with it if you have patience.  I wanted to show you my appreciation, and this was the best way I could think to do it.  It’s obvious how much the two of you care for each other, so I decided to give you both something you could appreciate.”

Kace and I both blush.  Oh, how much I do care for him – too damn much.

Kace nods.  “Thank you for this, Kendall.  I can assure you I’ll display it with pride.”

He walks over and places his in the center of the table.  I smile and blush a little more.

“Thank you, Kendall,” I say graciously.

She smiles once more and leaves the cabin.  Kace comes to examine his glass face, and I laugh a little as he mimics the facial expression etched in the glass.

“That was thoughtful of her.”

He laughs.  “It was thoughtful, but she shouldn’t feel the need to thank me for anything.  Julius and I were in that mess together.  I can swear there is no other man I would want to be in that situation with.”

I smirk deviously.  “What about a woman?”

He doesn’t laugh though.  He actually looks like I’ve said something agonizingly painful.

“Hey, it was just a joke – a bad one obviously.  I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head.  “It’s not that.  I almost gave into your request to go that day.  I didn’t want to spend two days away from you, and when you were begging…  I’m so thankful everyday that I was mad enough to say no, and at the same time, I wish I had said yes.

“When we were running from the hailing parade of arrows, the only thing I could think about was how unfinished you and I had left things.  There were several moments when I didn’t think I would ever see you again.  I was a jerk to try to push you.  I let my pride get in the way.  I’m the one who’s sorry.”

I stand up and wrap my arms around him.  “It’s okay.  I’m perfectly fine.  I could have kicked all of their asses for you though.”

His humor returns momentarily, and then his lips quickly find mine.  There’s a new passion behind his kiss though.  I can feel each stroke of his breath colliding with mine in a glorious tango.  Every motion is slow and drawn out, sensual and soft.  It’s so different from anything I’ve felt from him before.  I’m lost in him within seconds, and life has stopped moving once again.

“Well, how about that run now?”

I laugh ridiculously hard, as I lie bare beneath the sheets.  My breath is a little ragged from our unexpected rendezvous.

“You have the energy to run after that?”

He rises up to meet my eyes.  “Stamina, girly.  Stamina.”

He’s the only one I let get away with such name-calling.  “My stamina is fine, thank you very much.”

He crawls out of bed and pulls his shorts up.  Those perfect hip lines taunt me as he stands in front of me with his hands resting on his sides

“Then prove it.  One hour of running, and then we’ll start getting ready.”

I roll my eyes and pull the sheet over my head.

“Why don’t we just bask in the afterglow of that incredible noon sexcursion?”

He laughs inconceivably hard, and then I feel something slapping against the cover.  I pull the sheet back to see a pair of shorts and a shirt.

“It’s chilly out there, and it’s raining.  I don’t think this is proper attire.”  I gently toss the clothes aside in protest.

“You’ll be burning up after the first ten minutes, and the rain will just stick to you all the worse the more clothes you have on – making you heavier.”

I scowl as I reluctantly cede to his request.  He starts running in place by the door while he waits for me to finish throwing my clothes on.  I don’t even attempt to do anything with my hair.

The rain will destroy anything I do within seconds, and it pisses me off that I actually care what my hair looks like.

I grit my teeth as we sprint out the door.  The rain is like icicle daggers shooting down and I squeal slightly from the unexpected jolt.

“This water is freezing.”

He laughs.  “If the water was freezing then it would be ice.”

Smartass.

My eyes chastise him, though my mouth contradicts my futile attempt at anger when I’m unsuccessful in stifling a grin.  He’s cute when he’s cocky.

We make several loops around the lines, keeping stride with each other.  I can tell he’s holding back, but so am I.  On the last lap, I decide to give it full throttle.  I round the corner and release my last burst of energy, quickly leaving a gap between us.

I can hear him laughing behind me as his feet start pounding the ground harder, making my heartbeat throb in my ears as I quicken my already wicked pace.

“I didn’t know this was a race,” he snickers out, his voice telling me he’s already closing that small space between us.

I laugh too as I try to lengthen my strides, my legs turning to rubber beneath me.  I can hear him closing in on me more, but I refuse to let him win.  Suddenly, I’m off balance, slipping under the merciless rain already weighing me down.

The mud beneath me slides against my shoes, and I’m falling helplessly to the ground.  There is grass to the right and grass to the left, but I fall face first into a big ass mud puddle directly in front of me.

Of course.

I can hear his laughter heaving out of him as he nears.  I slowly sit up and try to wash my eyes free of the goop clogging them up.  He walks to my mud hole and hovers over me, mockery clearly in his eyes.

“Beginners don’t need to sprint.”

Oh that cocky, arrogant, smirking asshole.  That does it.

Within a blink, I spin around and knock his feet out from under him.  He gasps as he crashes into the puddle with me, gargling the mud when his gaping mouth pounds in first.  I laugh so hard I can feel sharp stabs of pain in my side.

He can’t help but laugh as well as he shakes some of the mud from his hands and spits the gritty concoction back out.  Before I know it, we’re wallowing, wrestling, and laughing our asses off in the slop.

Then I feel his lips on mine.  I can taste the grind of the disgusting mud, but I don’t care.

I’m enjoying kissing him freely in the pouring rain.  I feel as though it’s washing us clean and washing away every doubt I have along with it.

Suddenly we hear giggles from all around.  We squint to see through the rain to look for the faces that match the laughter.  It’s Harrison, Julius, Helena, and Mom.  Frank is standing with them, but he isn’t laughing in the least.

What is Frank doing with them?

They’re all standing on Harrison’s front porch - which we’re wallowing in front of.

Kace smiles as he helps me to my feet, his face adorably smudged.  Our sloppy clothes and shoes squish as we walk over to join the spectators on the porch.

Kace chuckles as he jokes, “I didn’t realize we had an audience.”

My mother’s eyes are glowing in delight.  Helena is giving me a very approving smile.  Kace wraps his arm around me and kisses me on the head.  I smile in response, but then we hear the huffing and puffing coming from Frank.

Kace glares at him.  “What are you doing here?”

Frank crosses his arms over his chest.  “I came to speak to Harrison about the two of you actually.  I wasn’t aware Julius was here.  Harrison refused to talk to me, probably because of Julius, and then Helena and Mrs. Clash showed up.  The next thing I know you two are acting like barnyard animals in the mud.  Anything else you wish to inquire?”

Kace’s eyes burn with more intensity now.  “Well, if you have something you wish to know about the two of us, how about you ask the two of us instead of Harrison?”

Harrison covers his mouth to silence his snicker.  Frank’s eyes widen - terror for his stupidity suddenly teeming in his dark browns.  I don’t think he intended to say his true purpose for being there aloud.  But then again, Frank’s not exactly the reddest apple on the tree.

He stutters like an idiot.  “I… uh… I just wanted to…”

He darts off the porch and disappears into the rain - his tail obviously tucked between his legs.  Kace looks to Harrison expectantly.

“What the hell was that all about?”

Harrison shakes his head.  “The usual.  It’s killing him that you’re with Arena.  Don’t sweat it.”

Kace moves to be behind me and his arms wrap around my waist affectionately as his head nests gently atop mine.

Helena smiles as she speaks to me.

“I suppose you’ll need the full treatment tonight now that you’ve muddied up your hair.”

I just laugh and shrug.  “It was worth it.”

Kace kisses the top of my head, and again, my mother smiles.

The day has quickly turned to night, and fortunately, the rain has finally ceased.  I carefully pull on the dress Abigail brought by, and it slides down with a slow caressing motion over my skin.

It’s a red dress that hugs me in the most tailored way.  It has a slight slit down the center, but nowhere nearly as dramatic as the black dress's slit had been.  The fabric feels so amazing against my skin.  I barely feel as if I’m wearing anything at all.  I’ve never felt like something was created just for me until I put on this dress.

I scowl at myself, suddenly livid with my ridiculous new fancy, as I grumble aloud.  “Great.  Now I’m starting to like dresses too.  Is there no end to this hypocrisy?”

The door creaks open, and Kace pokes his head in.  His eyes grow wide as he makes his way to me.

“My mother is honestly trying to make every man in our tribe go mad.  You look astonishing.”

I blush and smile bashfully.  “You don’t look so bad yourself, Mr. Sexy As Hell.

His cheeks turn pink from the unexpected compliment.  He walks over and pushes his lips so gently against mine.

“We need to go before that dress doesn’t make it to the party.”

I laugh lightly, though now I’m a little off balance.  The chills and the fire fight against each other in the magnificent way they do.

His dark blue button up accentuates his steel blue eyes.  The black pants hug him and dangle with perfection.  He loops my arm through his, and we make our way to the banquet hall.

The dancing isn’t dreadful for once.  Kace and I are instantly lost in our own world.  Each song is written for us.  Each dance is choreographed for us.  Each moment is meant for us.

Fear is starting to quarrel with Lady Lust.  I’m too happy, and it scares me.  I don’t know if I can stop myself from falling, but I have to.  I can’t be like my mother.

I’m distracted from my thoughts as Malfus clinks his cup.

“Shall we make our way to the fire now?”

I look out to realize the night has gotten deeper, meaning we’ve been here for a while now.  It feels like minutes, but then again, I’ve been too blissful to pay attention to reality.

Everyone is quick to head out to the bonfire.  We’re all acting a little wild from the large consumption of wine.  I’m enjoying every minute of being in his arms.  Kace smiles at me as he speaks quietly enough so only I can hear him.

“You really do look incredible tonight.”

“As do you.”

He laughs lightly, and then he pulls me close.  His eyes are locked with mine just before they shut completely.  Our lips collide, but it’s a kiss that should be private.

The passion is almost too intense for me to contain myself.  His hands pull me tighter.  One hand finds its way into my hair, while the other grips against my back.

My hands make their way up his strong arms to the back of his smooth neck.  He kisses me harder, and Lady Lust is ricocheting around inside me – bouncing off of every surface she can and lighting her lusty flame in every place she touches.

Our moment is violently interrupted in the most unexpected way.

“Don’t, Frank!” Harrison warns, causing our lips to separate as we turn to investigate.

Frank stalks toward us in a far more drunkenly aggressive state than I’ve ever seen him.  He almost screams at us.

“This is ridiculous!  I’m tired of letting this absurdity continue!”

Kace draws back from me to warn the enraged Frank.  Kace’s voice is calm but threatening.

“Frank, you need to sit down.  Don’t do something you know I’ll make you regret.”

Frank throws off his shirt, ready to fight, with his liquid courage burning through his veins.  He speaks with more fury.

“Not this time, Kace.  She thinks you’ve been so sincere and honest with her.  I won’t just stand by and watch it any longer.  She deserves to know the truth!”

Kace shakes his head and glares at Frank with all the intensity of hell’s fire.  I lean over to whisper.

“What’s he talking about?” I ask, worry slipping through to taint my shaky words.

What truth?

Kace shakes his head.  “He’s just drunk and jealous.  The two don’t make a good combination.  Let’s go.”

I nod, but Frank starts yelling again, stopping me in my tracks.

“He was sent to spy on you months before the two of you met!”

Kace’s shoulders drop, and I turn to face Frank once more.

“What?  You’re crazy!”

“It’s true!” he yelps far too forcefully.  “Malfus tasked him with it so he could keep an eye on you.  He wanted to be with your mother, so he used Kace as a way in.  He knew Kace would be able to change your mind about the Shaylan clan and him.  He told him to watch your every move so he could learn how to flip you.

“Kace did as he was told; like he always does.  Somehow, he even found a way to ensure your presence at the banquet.  Once he had you in his web, Malfus was free to pursue your mother.  I won’t let the lies continue.  You deserve better than that.  You deserve someone as genuine as I am.”

My world suddenly erupts into ashes, as all the air is ripped from my lungs to leave me almost choking in suffocation.  Nothing at all makes sense in this moment.

My ears are ringing, trying to assess what has just been said to me.  I can hear the agonizing torture in my cracking, hoarse voice as I stare at Kace with my watery eyes.

“Is that true?  Did you really do that?”

Kace shakes his head as he speaks with a slight catch in his throat.  “It’s not like that.  He’s mixing truth with lies.”

I glare at him with more tears filling up in my eyes.  I speak through the unfathomable pain surging throughout me, relentlessly stinging me with its merciless shocks.

“Which part is true?”

“Arena, please don’t listen to him.  He’s just drunk.”

I speak through gritted teeth as the tears start to fall, emphasizing each word that falls through my lips.  “Which part is true?”

He sighs as he answers reluctantly.  “Malfus did ask me to watch you, but I didn’t do it to get close to-”

I cut him short before he can defend his actions.  Anger pronounces itself in my tone with more dominance now, and Lady Lust moves to a corner to hide before I rip her to shreds for having ever misled me.

“You used me! You never… I can’t believe I was so stupid!”

I feel as though I’m trapped right now, suspended in another world.  My hands grip my own hair as I try to tug out my foolishness mixed with my aching burn.

This can’t be happening.  I trusted him.  I gave him… me.  How could he do this?

My heart doesn’t merely break, it shatters into microscopic fragments.  I’m immobile – worried the pieces of my heart might crunch beneath my feet if I move.  I feel as though I’ve stared into Medusa’s eyes and slowly turned to stone.

I’ve feared my feelings for him for so many reasons, but I never expected this… betrayal.

His voice is cautious and wary.  It feels as though he’s trying to talk me down from some impossibly high ledge I’m teetering on.

“Arena, please let me explain.”

Lady Lust now fully shrivels up and runs to hide from my anger.  Rage completely takes over without a hint of any other emotion other than pain.  I can handle both of these emotions when they work together.  This is my comfort zone.

I feel as though I’ve just been reunited with two of my oldest friends.  The tears shrivel up and the dry desert returns.  I can feel my body hardening once again.  I’ve gone numb to all other emotions.  For the first time ever, I’m able to stare into his eyes and feel absolutely nothing.

My voice is eerily chilly.  “No.  I won’t be made into an even bigger fool tonight.  This fake courtship, or whatever it is… it’s over!”

He seems hurt and offended now.  The audacity he has to show such emotion makes me want to punch in square in the jaw.

“Whatever it is?  You know this hasn’t been fake for a really long time.  I don’t know that it ever was.”

I laugh as I scoff, “Apparently everything was fake from the moment I met you.  Don’t you dare try to say otherwise!  I’m finished listening to your lies.”

He grabs his head as if it’s aching.  He speaks with anger toward me now.

“You can’t possibly be that blind.  I’ve been in love with you since the day I met you.  I fought against it with every fiber in me, but I couldn’t deny what I felt.  Since then, I’ve been doing everything I can to prove it to you without spooking you.  If you can’t see that, then you’re more foolish than any of the girls you so mercilessly ridicule.”

Now I’m just plain pissed off.  Boiling bubbles of fury almost steam through my lips like the ruthless dragon’s breath.

“You don’t have the right to scold me.  You’ve been lying to me since the day we met, and I fell for it.  I would only be a fool if I continued to listen to your bullshit and believe it to be more.  I’m through with this stupid charade.  I’m through with you.”

He grabs me by the waist and pulls me to him.  His lips press against mine, and I almost lose my courage.

Sanity quickly returns and the pain along with it.  I shove him violently and storm off toward my mother’s cabin.  I’m absolutely irate, and a thousand ways to kill Malfus race through my mind.

That son of a fucking bitch.  How dare he!

I stop and take a breath.  I have to get it together before I go in there, or I really will kill him.  I can hear arguing from around the side, quickly realizing it’s my mother and Malfus.

I’m ready to rip his throat out and feed it to the dogs, but I decide to eavesdrop instead.

“Malfus, please tell me there’s no truth to this accusation.”

“Meredith, I swear I didn’t mean for it to reach this point.  I asked him to watch her, but not so he could seduce her.  And not so that I could seduce you either.”

My mother seems torn about whether or not to believe him as she continues.

“Then why did you do it?”

“I found tracks in the woods one day that didn’t belong to any of my men.  I knew they belonged to a woman, and there was only one girl who would be brave enough to go into the woods.  I didn’t know she was hunting because your clan was starving.  I thought she was just being rebellious, like always.

“I couldn’t let just anyone know that I knew.  I didn’t want to lock her up for trespassing either.  I asked Kace to keep an eye on her, so he could make sure she didn’t get hurt or caught.  He was the one I trusted the most to keep such a thing quiet.  It would look weak if I showed everyone I had a soft spot for her.”

“So why is Frank under the impression it was more than just a protective mission?”

“Frank became suspicious and followed him one day.  When he confronted Kace, he told Frank he was trying to help me out.  He didn’t go into any details.  Frank drew his own conclusions later on.  I should’ve said something sooner, but everything was going so well.  I didn’t want to mess anything up.

“I swear I never told him to try and help make amends.  I never told him to tell her about her father either.  I don’t know what compelled him to do so, but I swear it had nothing to do with me.  I’ve loved you for years.  I wouldn’t do something like this just to win your affections.  I simply intended to keep an eye on her.”

I can hear her pacing.  She can’t stand still when she’s angry or worried.  I hope she’s as pissed as I am.  I smile as I hear the anger in her tone.

“Did you tell him to woo her?  You had better be honest with me.”

“I didn’t tell him to do anything of the sort.  I encouraged him to get close to her, but not so I could use it to my advantage.  Kace is an exceptional young man, and I think he’s the only man here Justice would have approved of for Arena.  I was simply trying to navigate him in that direction.  I was thrilled when I believed the courtship was real.  Apparently I was wrong about that.”

I hear my mother stop pacing and sigh.  No.  Don’t give up now, Mom.  Blast him some more.  None of them can be trusted.

My heart sinks as she speaks with a sincere and brokenhearted voice.

“It was as real as anything I’ve ever seen.  I never thought Arena would open herself up enough to get close to anyone.  Now her heart has been shredded.  I don’t know if she’ll ever recover from this.  There’s been too much damage done, and she doesn’t forgive easily.”

“I know she doesn’t forgive easily, which is why I told Kace not to tell her.  I didn’t want her to be mad at him, and I didn’t want to open up the old resentment she bore toward me.  I never intended for this to spiral out of control.  I honestly never meant for anyone to get hurt.”

“Someone did get hurt though, Malfus – my daughter.”

“I know.  It’s all my fault too.”

She sighs loudly and sobs softly.  “Why did you have to push this when you knew the truth would eventually come out?”

“The day we chased her, one of the men had spotted a stray arrow planted in a tree.  I sent the dogs in order to alert Kace of the problem.  He got her out of there before she could be found out.  He did exactly what he was supposed to do.  I had to act mad so no one else would be tempted to do as she was doing, and so no one thought I knew the truth.  I also saw an opportunity to try and reunite her with the tribe.  I only thought I was doing what was best.”

Oh, that lying sack of shit is good.

I don’t know if I believe him or not, but I don’t feel like affronting him tonight.  I might slice his throat if I get the opportunity.

Passing by the quiet, dark cabin my sister now lives in, I move toward Julius’s cabin and knock on the door.  He jerks it open and frowns when he sees me.

“Kace has been looking everywhere for you.  He told me to come home in case you came by.”

“I don’t want to deal with him anymore tonight.  Can I please just stay here?  Harrison and Helena don’t have a light on, and I really don’t feel like sharing my burdens aloud anyhow.  I know she’ll insist I do so if I stay there.”

The tears are still too scared to attempt their betrayal.  My eyes are almost bone-dry.

He nods.  “You’re welcome to stay, but I have to go tell him you’re alright.  He’s been going door to door.  He’s worried you ran off into the woods.  He is about to head to the Tympest camp.”

I just nod blankly, unable to accurately process the words coming out of his mouth.

“I’ll be back after while.  Make yourself at home, and there’s an extra bed.  Fortunately, I’ve been too lazy to take it back to the cabin where it belongs.”

I don’t want Kace to know where I am, but I don’t want him riding through the woods at night either.

Julius shows me in and then walks by me to chase after Kace.  With the weight of the world crashing down on me, I sit on the smaller bed in the room.

I’m alone now, and there’s no one to see me fall apart.  My body sinks to the bed, flopping hard against the firm mattress.  I can’t keep it together anymore.

The tears that refused to fall earlier now flood my face.  I lie down and cry myself to sleep while curling into a ball like a scared child lying on her father’s absent grave - his body faded from existence.

The viewer took the only man in this world who deserved the chance to live.  He’s the only one who could help me make sense of this hole I now have tearing through my heart.

I thought Kace was like him - honorable, brave… honest.  I was wrong.

I’m too weak to even try to change out of the red dress.  I woke up with Mr. Perfect, but now betrayal has invaded and destroyed my heart.  Everything is upside down and inside out.  I almost beg the numbness to return.

CHAPTER 18

AN INNOCENT BETRAYAL?

The obnoxious sun is shining with a chipper glare that outshines the viewer’s blaring lights.  The loud, blinding beams force me to recognize my pounding headache.

I pull back the cover Julius must have put over me during the night.  I look around to see I’m alone.  There’s a steaming pot of coffee on the table with a note.

Drink this and feel better.

I just smile slightly.  It’s odd he didn’t bother to sign it, but that’s the least of my worries this morning.

I guzzle down the coffee before making my way to Helena’s place.

She’s sitting on the small porch, while engulfed in a journal.  She peeks up from the pages and her eyes widen as she races to me.

“Oh, Arena.  Are you okay?”

I nod with a blank look plastered to my face.  The numbness has finally set back in, and I’m grateful for it.  My emotions are completely drained.  Anger and pain need a minute to breathe – they’ve been a little out of practice.

She speaks again, her eyes softening with their overly mature sympathy.

“How do you feel?”

Like someone ripped my heart out, chewed it up, and then spit it into the pits of hell.

I groan in response as I grab my head.

She sighs loudly while speaking.  “That good, huh?”

“It feels like there’s a tiny man inside my head mercilessly beating the walls of my skull.  To sum it up, I feel like shit.”

She kisses my head, making me feel all the more broken.  Helena only kisses someone on the head when she feels sorry for them.  Until now, she’s never done it to me.

“Is there anything I can do?”

I can hear the weak and pathetic tone in my voice.  “Will you please go get my clothes for me?  I don’t want to risk running into him this soon.”

“Yeah, I’ll get them.  Julius told him you were sleeping at his place, but you didn’t want to be disturbed.  Kace has been a mess.”

I roll my eyes.  I don't feel callous for sparing no sympathy toward him.  His misery was self-inflicted, where as mine was forced upon me.

“Well, I haven’t been the picture of composure myself.  I need to change before I can even try to process all this craziness.”

“I’ll go right now.  You can go inside if you want to.  Harrison and the others are training, so no one will be bothering you any time soon.”

I hug her, and release her quickly before I fall apart in her embrace.  Frowning slightly, she races toward Kace’s cabin.  Her sad, pathetic version of running doesn’t even humor me the way it normally does.

I drag my feet all the way inside and try to drown myself in the coffee she has.  Normally this sweet dark goddess aides me in my time of need, but I don’t even think divine java can fix this.

My head is still pounding fiercely and I’m not certain if there’s a knock at the door, or if it’s just the mean little man hammering around in my head until I hear the voice I’ve desperately been avoiding.

“Helena?  Are you there?”

Oh, you have to be fucking kidding me.

My stomach tightens in hellacious, terrible knots.  I don’t want to answer him – I can’t answer him.  Even if I wanted to answer him, my lips are trembling, unable to form words.

I look for somewhere to hide, but there’s only one pathetic option.  I crawl under the bed just as the door creaks open.

I can hear a surprised, and a trying to be distracting, Helena speaking from outside now.

“Kace!  Hey.”

He’s silent.  I can’t see what’s going on, but I’m sure he’s questioning her newly acquired baggage.

“So I take it you’ve spoken to Arena now?”

She sighs with reluctance.  “Yes.  She asked me to get her clothes.”

I jerk up and hit my head on the bottom of the bed when Kace pushes through the door the rest of the way.  Ow.  I slide back silently to keep my location hidden while rubbing my already pounding head.

Great.  My head will never be okay again.  Can this day get any worse?

He speaks softly, calming down from his intrusive arrival.

“Where is she?  I need to talk to her.”

Helena’s feet pace around the room, as if she’s looking for me.  His feet stay firmly planted.

“She was here.  She may have gone to talk to Mom.  I’m surprised she didn’t break down the door and attack Malfus last night.”

Kace’s voice is so pained that I fight the urge to comfort him.

He just broke you into pieces.  Do you really think you could handle round two?  No.  I can’t see him.  I have to stay hidden.

“I really have to talk to her.  This can all be easily explained if she’ll just give me the chance.”

“Can it really be easily explained?  She cared about you more than I ever thought possible.  She doesn’t trust just anybody, and now she feels like she was duped.  You need to give her some space right now.  I’d hate to see her in more pain because she said something she didn’t mean.  Arena has a wicked tongue when she’s upset.  Just give her some time to digest what’s going on.  She won’t listen to anything you have to say right now, I can assure you.”

A weary sigh escapes through his lips, and I watch him shift his weight to the other foot, his burdened posture now showing through.

“Will you at least tell her I’m sorry?”

His tone is heartbroken and almost too agonizing for me to endure.  Get him out of here, Helena!  I can’t do this!

My tears fight so hard to break free.  Anger is still hiding out, leaving pain all alone to do its worst.

She seems more compassionate now.  “Yes.  I promise I will deliver that message.”

I exhale in relief as his feet disappear from sight.  I hadn’t thought anything could taint my heart with the same sickening sinking sensation as a fade, but this is damn close.

It’s as though my heart is being tunneled through with a very dull spoon.  This can’t be natural.  Maybe my body is just going through… withdrawals?

Helena’s feet pause for a minute in front of the window and then move to be in front of the bed.

“You can come out now.”

I shamefully crawl out of my hiding spot, and she hands me a bag of clothes.  She smiles encouragingly at me, sparing my dignity by not showing me her mound of pity I know is hiding behind her misleading blue eyes.

“I told you he’s a mess.”

“Well considering I just dove under a bed to keep from seeing him, I don’t think I’m doing too well either.”

“He’s claimed numerous times it was an innocent lapse of judgment.  He swears he never intended for this to be misconstrued.”

I scoff, “Misconstrued?  Innocent?  People say a lot of things when they’re caught like a rat in a trap.  He can say whatever he wants.  Do you believe there’s such a thing as an innocent betrayal?”

She exhales loudly.  “I think there’re extenuating circumstances to every situation.  Maybe one day the two of you will reach a point where you can discuss this rather than hide from it.”

Her eyes narrow and mine roll.  I just walk over to change into my clothes.  He did this, not me.  So why do I feel like I’m doing something wrong?

I miss the days when my thoughts were untainted and simple.  These days they only seem to be stressful, confusing, and downright frustrating.

I’ve done fairly well in hiding from Kace, despite the enclosure of the camp.  I’ve stayed with my sister and Harrison for three days now.  Kace hasn’t come back around either.

I don’t feel like joining the hunt today, considering that’s most likely where Kace will be.  Harrison walks in to startle me, making me leap up and backward once his shadow crosses in front of my eyes.

“Easy, Arena.  You okay?”

I’m so sick of people asking me that.  Anger has once again returned and I’m finally regaining some balance.

“I’m fine.  I was just… thinking.”

“About?”

About getting out of this boy-crazy nonsense and getting back to me - the real me.

“About going to help in the greenhouses today.  I know they’ve been shorthanded, considering Johnny, Helena, Mom, and I have all moved up here.”

He shrugs.  “They had some more join them shortly after the move.  They’ve been doing really well actually.”

“How do you know?”

“Malfus makes us keep a close eye on things, per Meredith’s request.”

“I’d still like to go help.”

He walks over to put his shoes back on.  “Okay then.  I’ll escort you.”

“That’s fine.  I know the way,” I reply somewhat comically.

He laughs a little, though it’s only to mask his nervousness.  “You can’t go without an escort.  You know that.”

My eyes narrow as my cocky tone kicks in.  “I’m competing in the tribal competition correct?”

He looks up perplexed and replies with hesitance.  “Yeah”

“Then I’m a warrior, right?”

Now he knows where I’m going with this.  His eyes widen as he starts to falter with words.

“Yeah… but-”

“Warriors don’t need escorts do they?”

“No… but-”

I smile triumphantly.  “Good.  I’ll see you after while then.”

He looks frozen and uncertain of what to say.  I love it.

“But-”

“Bye Harrison.”

He makes one last pitiful plea.  “But-”

I quickly strut away with my little victory sashay.  It’s about damn time the old me came back.

I almost feel giddy as I reenter the Tympest camp.  All of the children swoop in to hear about my training exploits and how feels to be the first female all around contender.

Julius’s dad is the chief, and I’ve known him for years.  I wish so badly he had been chief while I lived here.  He gives me a quick hug and I’m off to the greenhouses.

Once we finish plucking every ripe vegetable from the vine, I bid everyone a sweet farewell.  I don’t feel out of place here.

In the Shaylan camp, I feel like a girl.  Here, I feel like a person - one who’s respected, somewhat feared.  The two can be totally different in such a surreal way.

No one here has seen me cry, obsess, or drool over a boy.  No one here has seen my heart smashed into smithereens.  It’s a short reprieve from the life I never asked for.

As I start to make my way back to camp, I feel him.  I don’t know where he is, but I know he’s here… watching me.  No doubt, Harrison’s sorry ass ratted me out the moment I left.

I cross my arms and scowl as I shout into the wind.

“You can come out.  I know you’re here.”

There’s no answer.

That son of a bitch is just going to act like he’s not here.  How stupid does he think I am?

“Did Malfus send you this time, or were you just missing getting to watch me without my knowledge?”

“I’m watching because you shouldn’t be in the damn woods right now.  We still haven’t found that breach,” his angry tone grumbles, making me whip around to face his stealthy approach.

My stomach flips over and over.  I was right.  He really is here.  Oh shit.

Now what, genius?  You wanted him to come out, well here you go.  Dumbass.

Why didn’t I just pretend I didn’t know he was here?  I’m not ready to talk to him right now.

Say I’m a warrior.  Say I’m a warrior.

“I don’t need protection.  The last time I checked I’m pretty savvy with weapons.”

That’ll do.

He looks so good right now.  His tall, strong body covered by his dark jeans and button down shirt.  His eyes hold a disturbing amount of burden along with unjustifiable resentment.

This hurts.  This hurts too much.

“Nobody is allowed out here alone, weapon savvy or not.  Why do you think we’ve been hunting in groups lately?”

Oh shit.  Damn him and his strategic arguments.  It’s as if he’s ready to counter me before I even say anything.  Either he’s very well prepared, or I’m just too frigging predictable.

“I wanted to help with the harvesting today, and I didn’t know I still needed permission.  If we’re not allowed out here alone, then why are you out here alone?”

Ha!  Take that Mr. Expert Arguer.  Talk your way out of that forgotten factoid.

He smirks smugly while his eyes push aside their burden to dance with seduction.  “Because I’m the exception to the rule.”

Oh that arrogant, sexy asshole.  No, not sexy.  Just arrogant.  Not sexy.  Get it together.

Anger’s sorry ass has abandoned me already.  Unbelievable.  I can’t do this.

“Of course you are.  I suppose you think you’re the exception to every rule.”

He props against the side of the tree.  “I suppose you do as well, considering you do whatever the hell you want.”

Got me there.

I have to be predictable.  There’s no way he’s that good.  Wiseass.

Think.  Think.  Think, damn it.  Ah, screw it.  I give up.

This is the most interaction I’ve had with him since … he broke me.  Exchanging witty banter right now is just too exhausting.

I open my mouth to speak when we both hear crackling coming toward us.  Julius appears, and Kace lowers the knife I never saw him draw.

“Boo,” Julius says while laughing and holding his hands up like a clawing bear.

Kace just rolls his eyes while visibly relaxing.

Julius smiles as he speaks.  “So did you two make up, or did Arena decide to just run off to the Tympest without an escort?”

Blast!  I am predictable.  Then inspiration strikes as I turn to Kace to relieve the now awkward tension.

“So is Julius an exception to the rule as well?  I don’t see him with an escort.”

Kace glares at me and then sighs loudly before speaking in an aggravated tone.

“Let’s get back.  Night isn’t far away.”

He turns to walk away before he witnesses my gloating reaction.

Hell yeah!  I just won this little battle.  Suck on that Mr. Knows Exactly What To Say.

I do a secretive victory dance behind their backs while Kace broods.  My moves get a little too extreme for my uncoordinated abilities, and I suddenly bust my ass on the ground.

“Ow.  Damn it!”

Kace tries to stifle a smirk, but Julius lets his laughter roar free through the woods, terrifying the furry woodland creatures and forcing them back into their burrows, trees, and nests.

I scowl at both of them, though admittedly, I’m mortified.

Kace proffers his hand to help me up, and I take it without thinking.  Oh shit.  Why did I touch him?

The fire surges through me as the chills rise on my skin.  His eyes lock with mine, holding me captive and pulling me in.

Break away.  Break away!

Something glistens under the fading sun and aides me in my desperate attempt to free my traitorous eyes from their imprisoned hold.  Raking over to the right, my once hypnotized eyes fall on something that intrigues me enough to bring me some reprieve from the smoldering gaze I was trapped in.

There’s a shred of blue fabric snagged on a limb.  I walk past Kace to retrieve it.  I have to tug it to force it free.

He joins me in my query.

“That’s not from our tribe,” Julius murmurs in a tone that sends a shiver up my spine.

“How do you know?” I ask with a dry-as-cotton mouth.

Kace’s tone matches Julius’s concern.  “Because we handle all the fabric for the Grafflin clan.  No imports of any goods come in without our knowledge.  We know every dye color, fabric, and thread in this tribe.  He’s right.  This isn’t ours.”

I feel sick now.  Someone from outside the tribe has been moving through our woods.

Kace takes my hand and starts pulling me.  The fire is too much, but his grip is too tight to break free from.  I don’t even bother to struggle.  He’s afraid right now.

I know he’s afraid for me.  Damn it.  Why did I have to go to the greenhouses today?  If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be holding his hand and suffering this blaze.

Kace drops my hand the moment we reach the safety of the Shaylan camp, and I try to wipe free the lingering tingles torturing my soul.  He and Julius almost sprint toward Malfus’s cabin.

Kace still has the alien fabric clutched in his hand.  I’m scared and worried, but there’s absolutely nothing I can do right now.

I pick up a hatchet and head to the training grounds, even though it’s almost dusk.  I light the fire pit to cast a steady glow, and then I start pounding away on the targets.

I instantly feel some release, but my mind is still reeling from… everything.

I use every weapon at my disposal until I’m completely drained.  I finally put everything back in the training shed, and I squeal in a startling breath as I shut the door.

Kace is right in front of me, appearing from out of nowhere.  He’s leaned against the side of the shed with his hands in his pocket, and oh my damn, does he look sexy right now.

His eyes are burning with his tempting, smoldering, set-me-on-fire gaze.  He speaks in his all too alluring tone he knows makes me crumble.

“Sorry.  I didn’t mean to scare you.”

I swallow hard.  Being this close to him – in the dark and all alone – makes it much too hard to remember I’m supposed to be mad at him.  His lies suddenly seem like a miniscule, trifling detail instead of the atrocious betrayal they actually were.

The longer those eyes trap mine, the more I forget why I’m even mad.

“It’s fine.  I just didn’t know anyone was out here,” I murmur somewhat respectably, doing well to hide the unnerving effect he has on me.

“I came out to check on you and decided I’d wait until you were unarmed before I approached.”

I stifle a laugh.  Oh, why couldn’t I have just stayed hidden today?

This is absolute torture.  He shifts so that he’s closer to me, but his hands are still nestled in his pocket.  I hope they stay there.

I can’t handle anymore physical contact right now.  I’ll surely forget everything he’s done and hate myself in the morning.  Lady Lust is pissing me off.  She’s so viciously cruel.

“Smart.  I was just about to head to bed.  It’s late, and Julius said he’s breaking out the whip on my training tomorrow.  I haven’t had any time to spar with him yet, and it’s supposed his shining point.”

Kace laughs a little.  “It is.  I’ll walk you to Helena’s if that’s okay.”

NO!  Say no.  Say no.

“Why?”

Kace shrugs.  “I know it’s been a taxing day, and Julius and I left you hanging earlier.  I was worried you might be upset, and I’m trying to … I don’t know… I guess I’m trying to make sure you’re okay.”

There it is again – someone worrying about whether or not I’m okay.  I’m so fucking sick of that word – okay.  Fuck no.  I’m not okay.  My life has been flipped upside down, turned inside out, and crushed under Goliath’s foot.  I’m not okay.

“I’m okay.  I just need some rest.”

“Can I walk you back anyhow?  I’m not so okay.”

Damn him.  “Yeah.”

No!  What am I doing?

Before I can chastise myself further, Abigail turns up.  Thank goodness.

“Kace, I need to give something to Arena.  Do you mind leaving us?”

Kace seems to scowl at his mother.  “I was just about to walk her back to Helena’s.”

She narrows her eyes at him.  “I would like to speak to her, and I don’t think it’s necessary for her to be walked back.”

Kace bows out less than gracefully, reluctance etched in his slight huff, and his eyes catch mine once more before he leaves.  I struggle to catch my balance against the gravitational pull of those perfect, blue eyes longing for me, preying on my weakness for him.

Abigail hands me a brown package and smiles too compassionately at me – I can feel her pity oozing out.  I have really grown to loathe pity.

“This is for the next tribal function.”

I pull out the dress hidden beneath the paper and I gasp aloud.

“I don’t think I can pull this off.”

She laughs lightly.  “Oh my dear girl, there’s nothing you can’t pull off.  I love sewing for you.  Your confidence, beauty, and commanding presence make it all too easy.  I’ve never been able to take the liberties I can with you.  It would please me greatly if you wore this.”

I swallow incredibly hard against the coconut-sized knot in my throat as I stare at the… um… dress – if that’s what you can call it.

To call it racy would be a compliment.  I can’t help but wonder if she forgot to finish it.  It’s black and red with large slits all across the stomach to expose my skin.  Oh no. That’s going to show a lot of stomach.

There’s only one long sleeve, and it’s designed to droop off the shoulder.  The bottom of the dress is short – as in barely-cover-my-ass short – and a touch of short fringe is attached at the hem.

Holy skimpy hell.  This is going to suck.

The wolves have been relentless enough since the night Kace and I denounced the courtship.  There’s no way they will leave me alone if I’m wearing this… thing.

I shakily speak to Abigail.  “Thank you.  It’s… short… I mean beautiful.”

She laughs a little.  “I promise you’ll be gorgeous in it.”

“Thanks.”  I twitch awkwardly now.

“I know my son severely screwed things up, but I do sincerely hope that you two can work it out one day.  I’ve enjoyed seeing him so happy.  I don’t know that I’ve ever seen his emotions so exposed before.  I know he’s never had this level of intimacy.”

Obviously, she doesn’t know her son as well as she thinks she does.  Considering his past sexploits, I’d say intimacy is not an issue.  I wonder what she would think if she found out the saint her son really isn’t.

Now I’m squirming more uncomfortably.  She feels like there’s something special about me, when really there’s not.  I sure as hell wasn’t his first.  Her eyes glow as if she’s just read my mind.  Oh no.  I hope she hasn’t just read my mind.  No, that’s impossible.

She stifles a grin as she speaks with a humorously laced tone.  “I know about my son’s… past… relationships, so to speak.”  She struggles a little more to hide her amusement before continuing.  “That’s not the version of intimacy I was referring to.  He touches you with real affection.  He holds your hand, and he kisses you so honestly, or at least he did.  The fact that he told you about such private details proves how right I am about his feelings toward you.”

Holy shit!  She can read my mind.  Damn it!  And gross!  What kind of sick freak tells his mother about his sexploits?  And why does that make her think that he has feelings toward me?

If anything, it should have been a deterrent to hear about his sexcursions – although it obviously didn’t do well in warding me off.

I’m sure the horror is engraved plainly on my face.  Judging by her widening eyes, she’s reading my mind once more.

“No.  No, dear.  He’s never told me himself.  A mother has ways to find out what her son is doing when her head is turned.  He’s a grown man, and he can do as he pleases, but those empty relationships have never been what I wanted for him.  He doesn’t ever share any personal details with women.  That’s what I was referring to when I said it was proof of his feelings for you.”

Holy crap she’s good.  I’m dumbfounded right now.  I have no idea what to say at all.  I’m squirming around as if I have an aggravated rash.

“He’s a good man, although I’m sure you’re finding that hard to believe right now.  He cares very deeply for you, and I can see that.  I just hope that you haven’t given up on him completely.”

I sigh as I stare at the ground.  I don’t know how I feel right now.  It’s so hard to keep my sanity when he’s around, and the anger returns with less power everyday.

I can’t go back to where I was though.  I shouldn’t have ever been there in the first place.  That wasn’t me.  It was some fool girl with lust-driven desires charging her every moment.  I can’t go back, but it’s so hard to stay away.

Her voice is softer and even more compassionate now.  The pity scale has risen to a new level.

“I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t be badgering you about this.  It’s between the two of you, and it’s none of my business.  I just love my son and I’m incredibly fond of you.  I figured it couldn’t hurt to try to sway your vote.  I can tell this is causing you so many mixed emotions, and I don’t mean to add to your burden.  Just give it some thought.  I’ll leave you in peace now.”

I'm not in peace; I'm in pieces - just as I have been since my heart was ripped from my chest.

She leans forward and hugs me before walking away.  I exhale the painful breath that has been trapped in my lungs.  I’m so happy this conversation is finally over - even though the conversation essentially excluded me.

I felt like a nosy neighbor listening in on a private conversation between Abigail and my subconscious.  What a day.  What a night.  I need a drink.

CHAPTER 19

SIZING UP YOUR OPPONENT

Julius sets his weight on the backs of his legs as he bounces in an attack position.

“So you are literally a third of the size most of your competitors will be.  You need to focus on their weaknesses.  Size up your opponent, and find the best place to attack them.  When you find it, use all of your force.  Each person is different each time you face them.  These are double elimination rounds too, so you might see the same guy twice.  Make sure you mix up your attack patterns.”

He smirks deviously and I do my best to match his confidence.  He doesn’t know how good I am, and I fully intend to use that to my advantage.  I swirl my hair into a tousled knot on the top of my head and take my ready position.

He lunges fiercely with a beastly grunt.  I race straight at him and slide between his legs.  I punch him as hard as I can and connect with his groin as I slide through the gap.  And just like that, the fight is already over.

He falls over like a dead tree in the woods.  He’s heaving and coughing with an excruciating wheezing sound coming from his throat.

I have to restrain the urge to laugh as he wallows on the ground, holding his crotch and writhing in pain.  He slowly steadies himself onto his hands and knees, and I’m worried that he’s about to vomit.

I try not to strut as I walk over to check on him, and I force the genuine sounding concern in my voice.

“Are you okay?”

I put my hand on his shoulder, but he jerks away.  His voice is a little out of its normal pitch, and I laugh slightly as he grunts through the pain.

“I’m fine.  I just need a minute.  Good job of sizing up my weakness.”

He tightens his lips and tries to give me a thumbs-up.  I clamp my hands over my mouth to suppress my laughter.  He lowers his head to the ground with his rear still in the air while groaning more.

After several minutes, he slowly stands back up with a bit of a hobble.  He leans over slightly trying to catch his breath and places his hands on his knees for support.  His head is still facing the ground when he speaks a bit more naturally than he did before.

“Okay, let’s say your opponent is wearing a metal protector… there - which I will be from now on.  You need to find the next weakness.”

My laughter finally escapes as he takes his position once more.  He seems a little less confident now, and I’m loving the power I’ve already gained over him.

Again, I race toward him.  He takes a swing at me, but I dodge it.  As I whirl around, I kick the side of his leg.  His knee buckles and he topples to the ground.  I capitalize on his falter and spin back around to knee him in the face.  He falls backwards and his head bounces off the ground.

Blood is pouring from his nose as he sits up.  He grabs it to inspect the damage and scowls at me as his hand pulls down the red stains proving the severity of the damage I’ve left behind.

“Tell me again why they want you focusing on sparring instead of just stamina?”

“Because it’s the area I have the least expertise,” I say with a little chuckle.

Julius shakes his head as he dusts off his wounded ego.  He speaks a little less enthusiastically – almost dreadfully.

“Let’s try this again.  Attack me from a different angle... again.  I won’t let you get by so easily this time.”

I smile at the challenge.  That’s not all I’ve got, big boy.

Again, we race toward each other.  I start to spin around him, but he catches me and traps me in his vice-like grip.  I stomp his foot to loosen his grip and elbow him in the nose when he does.  Then I free myself from his grip and kick him in the stomach.

He goes flying backwards and lands on his back, dirt and grass flying everywhere as he does.  He lets out a loud yelp of pain as skids to a stop.

He gets up even slower this time.  Exhaustion, exasperation, and frustration radiate in his tone.

“Take five.  I need a minute to rethink my strategy with you.”

He grabs his aching nose and checks for new blood.  I laugh a little harder as I pick up the crossbow.  I start popping off the arrows as quickly as I can, though I’m still not too great.

Kace walks up on our practice session, and I can hear the irritation in his voice as he scolds Julius.

“Why the hell is she working on crossbow?  She needs to be focused her sparring skills right now.”

I turn around to see Julius sitting on a log while holding his groin area and his head.  He wipes the blood that still pours from his nose and sniffles a little.

Narrowing his eyes, he speaks hatefully.  “Well, I need a minute, so get off me.”

“We don’t have a minute.  What’s wrong with you today?”

Julius scowls at him.  I almost find his agitated tone comical when he responds.

“What’s wrong with me?  I don’t want to keep getting my ass kicked by a girl all day.  So, if you don’t mind, I would like to think for a minute and revise my approach.”

Julius leans over to spit blood out of his mouth, and Kace finally notices how tragic my sparring partner looks.  He smirks slightly as he speaks with a cooler tone.

“Well, don’t take too long.”

Julius salutes him sarcastically while rolling his eyes.  “Yes, sir.”

Kace glances toward me, and I fight the urge to get lost in his eyes - those steel blue, beautifully maddening eyes.  He shows mercy and releases me from my trance when he breaks away and returns to the group he’s training.

I walk over to Julius, feeling a little confused.  “That was a little over the top.”

Julius rubs his aching head.  “Yeah.  He’s a little wound up from the stress.  He normally doesn’t let it get to him, but throwing you in the mix has made him get a little worked up.  He’s worried you’re going to get hurt out there.”

I roll my eyes.  “If he was so worried about my getting hurt, then he wouldn’t have hurt me himself.”

Julius laughs.  “Well now isn’t that the tricky part of relationships?  Nobody’s perfect, Arena.  That’s a fact.  Not even you are perfect, though you’re damn near close.”  He winks playfully at me.  “He just wants a chance to explain himself, and he’s devastated you won’t hear it.  He’s too prideful to keep trying though.  You’re mad because Frank ran his mouth about something he didn’t fully know the truth about; even though it’s obvious you want to forgive him.  Both of you are ridiculous if you ask me.”

I scowl at him.  “I guess it’s a good thing no one is asking.”

“Easy, baby Clash.  I don’t need you getting pissed off before we spar again.  I’ve got my hands full with you as it is.”

I let a laugh escape, my momentary rage subsiding, and he nudges me playfully.

“Let’s get back to work.”

I nod, but instantly I feel distracted.  I do want to forgive him, but I can’t let myself go there.

I wake up ready to spar.  There are only four days left until the competition.  Julius and I have been working tirelessly to ready me for it.

My crossbow has gotten better, as well as my sword skills.  Sparring has become my favorite new outlet for release.  It feels good to beat the crap out of someone; however, Julius doesn’t share my enthusiasm – considering he’s the punching bag.

He scowls at me as I kick him in the stomach and send him flying.  After thudding against the ground, he crawls to his feet with heavy reluctance.

“You’d think I’d be expecting that by now,” he grumbles through pained breaths.

I laugh at his agitation, but my laughter quickly falls flat when Mary walks down to where we are.

Her shrill pitch sends the most disgusting chills throughout me.  “Julius, I was wondering if you’ve seen Kace?”

Relentless bitch.

I resist the urge to fling a heap of mud at her.  I then make a conscious effort to kick the knives out of my reach in order to alleviate the temptation the wicked angel on my shoulder is filling me with.

Her ruffled dress is so obnoxiously full and loud.  The orange is almost blinding against the shine of the sun and oversized blue flowers decorate/drown the lower half.

Holy hideous dress.

I feel compelled to gag at the very sight of her.

I cover my ears as I yell sarcastically.  “What did you say?  I’m sorry we couldn’t hear you over the ridiculously loud dress you’re wearing.”

Julius grabs his mouth to hold back his laughter from my rude outburst.  She makes no attempt to hide her disgust for me either.

“I wasn’t talking to you,” she snarks with a lip curling up in distaste.  “I was talking to Julius, and as for my dress, at least I know how to look like a lady.”

A lady?  Please.  She looks like a damn peacock in heat.  I hate peacocks.

I roll my eyes at her unsuccessful attempt to belittle me.

“If that’s what you have to wear to look like a lady, then I’m glad I’m not very ladylike.”

She crosses her arms over her chest as her eyes glare angrily at me.  Julius chuckles as he finally answers her question.

“I haven’t seen him in a while.  He went for a run earlier to clear his head.  I’m sure he’ll be back soon though.”

She smiles triumphantly at him and her eyes flash back to me with a sense of smugness weighing inside.  She speaks loudly to make sure I’m listening.

“Well be sure to let him know I’m looking for him.  He promised me a dance at the banquet tonight.  I plan to hold him to it.  I just need to find out what color shirt he’s wearing so I can match my dress.  I’ll leave you two alone to continue acting like boys now.”

He’s dancing with her?!  Why?  I thought I was the only exception to that rule.

I childishly stick my tongue out at her as she walks away.  Julius laughs as he sits back against a log.  Then his eyes shoot over to me as he speaks provocatively.

“So what are you wearing tonight?”

Abigail’s gift flashes through my mind, and I cringe inwardly as the scandalous garment suddenly haunts me.

“I’m not going.  I don’t feel like dealing with all of the mongrels.  I certainly don’t want to witness the dance between Mary and Kace that he’s apparently promised her.”

Julius snickers.  “Now don’t let her get under your skin.  She’s just trying to make you mad.”

I roll my eyes.  “Wish granted.  I’m pissed.”

He laughs a little harder.  “You have to attend.  A warrior is required to attend all engagement banquets.  You’re a warrior now – per your request.  We hold a banquet every time a new warrior reaches eighteen so they have a little incentive to fight harder in the challenges.  Hicks just turned eighteen today, hence the banquet.”

I roll my eyes again and sigh in exasperation.  “I forgot about that.”

I guess being a warrior isn’t exactly as glamorous as I had once thought it to be.

“At least you don’t have to complete ten challenges to be in a courtship.”  He chuckles lightly.

I cross my arms over my chest in a huffy, pouting manner.

“I wish I did.  Maybe then these fools would leave me alone.”

He laughs harder now.  “If only it was that simple.  You are the most desired woman in the camp right now.  Get over it.”

His laughter tapers off as Malfus crosses his arms over his chest and stares at us from the hillside.  Julius looks at me the way a child in trouble would.

“Let’s get back to it.”

We take our positions, and I race toward him.  Just as I’m about to trip him up, a shooting, fiery pain invades me.

I fall to the ground and grab my leg, which feels to have been ripped from my knee.  A bloodcurdling scream emerges from me and almost echoes around the camp as I struggle to catch my breath.

Julius races to my side and screams, “Doc!  Get over here!”

His cries are swiftly met by the old, frail man.  He warily inspects my leg, and I wince beneath his touch.  My fists clench at my sides while my teeth grind together.

Malfus runs up with pure anxiety riddling his face.  “What’s wrong with it?  Has she broken something?”

The old man answers with a smile.  “It’s fine.  Just a slight strain.  She needs a more intense stretching regimen.  Just give her some time to rest it.  Perhaps she could focus on some less strenuous exercises for about an hour or so.  Just be sure to stretch her out properly before proceeding.”

Malfus nods, and then he turns to Julius.  “Give her some time to rest.  Carry her back to Helena and Harrison’s cabin for now.  We’ll wait until morning to proceed with the sparring training.

“No problem,” Julius says as he starts walking back toward me, his whole body visibly relaxing upon the good doctor’s words.

I’m lifted from the ground before Julius even makes it to me.  I know the touch that holds me all too well and the sensations caused from it – the fire, the chills, the confusion, and the insanity.  Only one man has ever given me such extreme sensations – Kace.

I turn to face the man who managed to completely sneak up on me, confused to see his face is twisted in guilt and turmoil.  I don’t have the energy or the will to object to his hold right now.  I just prop my head on his chest and allow myself to feel comforted by his gentle heartbeat.

“Are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine.  Didn’t you hear the doctor?  It’s just a strain.”

“You shouldn’t be doing this.  We can find someone else.”

I scowl as I bring my head back to meet his eyes.  “I want to do this.  It’s never been done before, and I want to be the first.”

He tightens his lips.  “I just worry we’re having to push you too hard to get you ready in time.”

“I’m fine.  It’s my own fault.  I should have stretched better.”

We reach Helena’s cabin, and I try to slide from his grip.  He doesn’t let me though.

No.  Please don’t come in with me.

He ignores my inner cry and pushes the unlatched door open with his back.  I can’t manage to say anything.  I’m lost in his eyes again.

He slowly eases me onto the bed and my heart pumps ferociously while beating against my chest.  I’m not ready to handle this yet.  I may not say no.  I may not say anything at all.

His perfectly plump, delicious lips are just in front of me with their pouting pose.  Oh damn, this is torture.

“Arena?  Are you okay?”

Helena’s voice is my saving grace in my moment of weakness.

I answer with a breathless tone.  “Yeah.  I’m fine.”

She pokes her head in and her eyes widen when they fall on Kace.

“Oh… I can go.  Julius had said you were hurt so I thought I’d come check on you.”

Kace’s eyes finally release mine and he turns to speak to Helena.  “I’m leaving.  I just wanted to make sure she made it back okay.”

His voice holds a bounty of reluctance, and I’m dreading having ever joined this competition.

Why would so many things be there to tear us apart if so many things are here to push us together?  If fate can’t make its mind up about us, then how can I?

“Thanks for taking care of her,” Helena says with a warm smile.

She comes to take my side as he starts to leave.  She elbows me hard just before he disappears through the door.  I look at her with bewilderment, and her eyes widen with a thank-him-you-ungrateful-ass look.

Oh.  Yeah.  My bad.

“Thanks, Kace.”

His eyes shut momentarily, as if he’s fighting the urge to rejoin me.

He grips the edge of the door very tightly, and finally murmurs in an almost muted whisper, “You’re welcome.”

He’s gone within an instant.  I finally take a less painful and less forced breath.  I visibly relax on the bed and Helena begins her own examination of my leg.  How much longer can I hold out if we keep ending up like this?  I almost gave in just then.

I walk out just as the sun peers over the hillside.  My leg has been rested and so have I.  The morning dew is almost too abundant.  Slick and slippery beneath my feet, the damp ground won’t be too forgiving during the sparring sessions.

Julius walks up and nudges me playfully.

“If you couldn’t keep up with me, all you had to do was ask for a break.  You didn’t have to fake an injury to get out of our session.”

I laugh lightly.  “Funny.  I believe I was the one wearing you out, not the other way around.”

He laughs a little louder then turns back more serious.  “You sure you’re okay to continue?”

“I’m fine.  It feels brand new.”

“Malfus wants you to do a once over on all the events before we start sparring.”

“Well, let’s do it then.”

I breeze through almost every section of the training courses, struggling slightly with the crossbow.  My comfort zone is next.

I pull up the bow – given to me by Kace – and stare at Julius as I release the arrow without even watching it slice through the targets.  I smile as I count the thuds hitting the ground.  I turn back to see all twenty have dropped from their perch.

His eyes narrow as he twitches his finger.  “Don’t get cocky.”

I just laugh as he goes to reload the apples.  Once again, my accuracy is dead on.  The apples fall once more and I take a bow.

He rolls his eyes as I start my strut toward the field.  Everyone is watching me and I feel good.

That’s right.  I’m badass.

As soon as that arrogant thought enters my mind, I feel myself tumbling over something.  I thud against the ground with a humiliating bounce.

Terrific. Now I’m just a dumbass!

I can hear a few chuckles circling around as I scour the land to see what forced me to trip.

A peacock!  It was a fucking peacock! Oh, I hate peacocks.

The vicious thing is just staring at me and I swear it looks smug, as though it plotted and calculated that attack.

Peacock bastard.

Julius is scowling at me as he puts his hand down to help me up.

“I told you not to be cocky.”

He suddenly finds the humor in his unintended pun as his eyes catch a glance at the ruthless peacock that has just taken me down.  He roars out his laughter as he pulls me to my feet.

“Let’s go spar.  If you keep being so clumsy, I might have a chance.”

I look at the peacock with an I’m-going-to-roast-you-for-dinner stare, and then I shake my head.  A stare-down with a peacock is a newer low.

Malfus walks up as I’m stretching and speaks informatively to Julius.

“Use the thin man stretches on her from now on.  I should have thought of that to begin with.”

Julius nods and then smirks at me oddly.

“What’s that?  Are the thin man stretches hard?”

He shakes his head.  “No, they’re just a little more intense and… intimate.”

“Are you afraid I’m going to bite?”

Then my stomach flip-flops as I think back to the day in the woods where I actually did bite Kace.  Then his pet name biter springs to mind as well.  I’m suddenly in the bedroom biting his shoulders and kissing them all over again.

My cheeks glow from the provocative memories as Julius laughs slightly.

“No.  I just know what’s about to happen.”

“What is going to happen?”

He smiles uneasily as he points to the ground for me to lie down.  He speaks quietly.

“Do you remember when you told me you were glad it was me training you instead of Kace?”

“Yeah, why?”

He continues with his uncertain tone as his eyes flash over to Kace.

“Well, I’m sorry, but that’s about to change.”

“Why?”

He almost laughs as he speaks a little more casually.  He stares at Kace while responding.

“Because there’s only so much a man can take.”

He lowers down to his knees and hesitantly picks up my leg.  I continue to question his annoyingly vague answers.

“What do you mean by that?”

He smiles menacingly.  “You’ll see.”

Then, in one swift motion, he pushes my leg up to be beside my head.  His body presses tightly against my leg and his face is inches from mine.  Now I understand what he meant about the stretches being intimate.

Then he starts counting backwards out loud.  “Five, four, three, two…”  He just mouths one silently as Kace pulls him off me.

Julius winks at me as he stands up.  Kace speaks with a little bit of a shaky tone.

“I’ll take it from here.”

Julius gives him a knowing, teasing grin.  “Whatever you say.  Thin man stretches only.  Malfus’s orders.”

Kace nods tensely.

Julius pushes his hand down the front of his pants and pulls the out the metal cup he has been wearing since our first encounter.  He hands it to Kace and speaks warningly.

“You’ll need this.”

Kace laughs with a look of disgust as he quickly tosses it to the ground.  He wipes his hands on his pants as if he’s trying to rid himself of the foul germs that cup has to be covered in.

I’m trying not to show my rattling nerves, and I’m praying my heart isn’t visibly beating its thunderous pace.

He tightens his lips as he turns back to me and picks up where Julius left off.  My breath instantly hitches and catches in my throat the moment his body slides against mine.

His body pressed against mine is far more distracting than what it was when Julius was there.  My mind travels back to all the bedroom sexcursions we had ventured on, and my cheeks fight hard not to stain red.

He moves to my other leg, and presses it beside my head, his weight holding it steady.  Our eyes lock when his face is just centimeters from mine.  His lips are begging to be touched, and mine are tingling to answer their request.  He starts looking around nervously, avoiding our eye-fucking conundrum.  The heat from our bodies is radiating from us.

“Sit up,” he says with a nearly breathless voice.

Moving behind me, he pushes my upper half to lie on top of my legs.  His hands feel like velvet running over my back.  His touch is so forceful, yet gentle – just like so many times before when we were doing less innocent acts.

I can feel his breath on the back of my neck stimulating Lady Lust who is banging on the locked door she’s been stuck behind.  The closeness is almost more than I can bear.

I breathe in relief when he helps me to my feet, thinking the intense stretching is over, but he pulls me to a tree.  He pushes my back against the tree and picks my leg up so he can push it up beside my head.

Now I can feel his body burning against mine.  This is ridiculous.  This can’t be the real stretches.

He repeats the action with the other leg, and the burning is almost painful.  Our eyes keep locking in the most awkward fashion.  Thankfully, it’s finally over.

I really don’t want to spar with him.  He must share that sentiment because he’s calling for Julius.

“Take over from here please.”

“No problem,” Julius says through a chuckle.

Now my every move is haunted by his touch.  I’m distracted, throbbing, burning, and dying right now.  The more time that passes, the more difficult it seems to stay mad at him.

CHAPTER 20

THE HEN IN THE FOX HOUSE

I very reluctantly walk up to the banquet hall.  The men are gathered around the door, almost frothing at the mouth when they see me.

Mongrels.

I’ve been training and had to miss all of the fun competitive stuff.  All that’s left is the one part I don’t like... the dancing.  I look over to see Kace talking to Mary.

Unbelievable.

I just roll my eyes.  I try to sneak past him without his eyes catching me, but he notices I’m there when the boys swarm me like I’m honey and they’re the grizzlies trying to steal me from my hive so they can devour me.

They’re all talking over each other, trying to ask me to dance.  I can barely make out who’s saying what.  I feel like a lamb surrounded by a pride of lions.

I finally manage to wriggle free as they start arguing about who asked to dance with me first.  I quickly make my way through the crowd to find someone to talk to.  I need to make myself unapproachable.

I see Julius just in front of me, and I can hear the relief flowing from me.

“Thank goodness.  I need you to help me hide out until this stupid thing is over.”

Julius covers his mouth as the wine sputters from it.  His eyes grow wide as he continues to inspect the racy dress Abigail had given me.

He coughs slightly in surprise.  “Holy tiny dress on a hot girl!  Where in the heavens did that dress come from?  If that doesn’t attract some unwanted attention, I don’t know what will.  You might end back up with Kace tonight whether you want to or not.”

I laugh slightly as I motion to the dress.  “Abigail.”

He laughs a little harder.  “She apparently wants you to be her daughter-in-law pretty badly.”

I roll my eyes.  “I just need to hide out until it’s okay to leave.”

“Well, I don’t know how you’re planning on hiding in that thing.  Right now I’m feeling compelled to ask you for courtship, and I don’t even like you that way.”

I punch him in the arm, and he laughs again.  Then a friendly voice that has evaded me for so long sounds out.

“Well, I came to see if I could collect on that dance you owe me.”

I turn around to face the best friend I’ve desperately needed, and I throw myself at him to engulf him with a much tighter embrace than I had intended.

“Johnny!  Where have you been hiding?”

He smiles while slowly pulling back.  “I’ve been busy training.  I hear you’re going to be the first female all around.”

I look away bashfully.  “You know me.  I love making waves.”

He smiles as he speaks playfully.  “Some things may never change.  How about that dance?”

Julius steps back, smiling behind his glass of wine.  I take Johnny’s hand, and we make our way out to the dance floor.  He twirls me around, and I laugh at his unexpected grace.  I never knew he had such an ability.

“Johnny Cabot, I think you’ve been keeping secrets.”

He laughs a little.  “Well, judging by what I can see through that dress, I’d say you’ve been keeping secrets as well.”

I slap him playfully.  Abigail walks up to us.  Her smile stretches all the way across her face and her eyes glow with excitement.

“I love the dress on you.  I swear I could put a rag on you, and it would still look good.  Don’t let these boys torment you tonight.”

A rag might cover more of me actually.

I smile and thank her.  She quickly snaps me forward to grip me in an embrace, and then she releases me to run off to a group of women.  Johnny’s eyes are alight when he whispers to me.

“You do look astonishingly gorgeous.”

I roll my eyes and speak with an exasperated tone.  “Johnny.”

He smiles as he pulls me tighter, and the new closeness starts to make me wary.  What’s he up to?

“I’m just stating the obvious, which brings me to the question I’ve been dying to ask you for years.  It may take me a while to complete ten challenges, but I was hoping you would consider a courtship with me once I’ve finished.”

My eyes widen from the unexpected proposal, and a sudden sickness invades the pit of my stomach.  I step back awkwardly and shock pours over my face.

“Johnny, I can’t.  You know I don’t feel that way.”

His face instantly changes to pain.  His tone is offended, hurt, confused, and crushed.

“Why don’t you?  I’ve been in love with you for years.  It doesn’t make sense.  We’re good together.”

I look down shamefully as he fumes over my rejection.  I hate hurting him like this, but I can never be with him that way.

“I’m sorry.  I don’t know.  I just don’t.”

He shakes his head in disbelief and walks away, leaving me stranded with my shame, guilt, and now the pain from having lost my best friend.

The wolves surround me without mercy the moment I’m alone.  One guy grabs me up and starts dancing with me before I can object.

The sounds around me turn hollow as I withdraw from the world.  At the end of each song, I can feel a new partner twirling me on floor, though I never even bother to glance up at my new dance mates.  I stare blankly into the abyss I feel as though I’m drowning in.  Not even a word flitters from my mouth.

My best friend is in love with me, and I have just crushed him.  Kace had obliterated my heart, and now he’s conversing with the enemy – Mary.  My life had once been so simple, but now everything is complicated and chaotic.  The numbness takes over with no regard to my emotions that once felt so vibrant.

I’m physically here, but my mind has retreated.

I feel familiar hands pulling me from the clutches of the wolves.  I slowly start to return from the abyss when I see Julius giving me a sympathetic smile.  He leads the dance of rescue.

“You’re making me want to cry.  I don’t know if I’ve ever seen someone look so sad in all my life.”

I force a half smile.  “It’s been a rough few weeks.”

“Well, cheer up.  We can get drunk and destroy some things if you think it would help.”

I wipe away a tear just as it sneaks out before I chuckle lightly.  “I think it might.  You get the wine.  I’ll grab the weapons.”

Julius smiles at something behind me, and I can feel the fire and chills invading my body as a smoldering tone disrupts our plans.

“Can I have the next dance?”

Julius nods and I turn to face Kace.  The air feels too heavy to even pull into my lungs now.   Kace stares at me longingly, and Julius whispers to me.

“I’ll see you in a bit, or not, either way is fine by me,” he says while winking.

He pats Kace on the back as he walks away.  Kace gently takes my hands and grumbles slightly as he sees my stomach revealing itself in shreds through the dress.

“Well, my mother seems to be a bit cruel now, doesn’t she?”

I half smile and barely nod.  He doesn’t have a clue how tortured I already feel because of him.  He pulls me a little closer to him, and wearily, I rest my head on his chest.  His voice is gentle, soft, and so, so, so tempting.

“I’m sorry.  I should’ve told you everything in the beginning.  I shouldn’t have kept it from you.  Will there ever be any way for us to put this behind us?”

My mouth opens in an effort to speak, but the words evade me.  It’s taking all my strength to fight my true feelings for him.  My resolve is wavering more by the second.

Finally, I muster the courage to let something escape.

“I-”

My words are cut short from the shrill pitch of Mary butting in.  I pull back slightly as she inserts herself between us.

“Kaceton Brice.  You promised me a dance.  Now I assume you’re a man of your word.”

Unbelievable.  He really did promise her a dance.

I dart away before he has the chance to dance with her in front of me.  Hearing her talk to him about anything is infuriating, disgusting, and pissing me off.  Knowing he promised her a dance is revolting, nauseating, appalling, and heartbreaking.

I find solitude in one of the rooms as I try to compose myself.  After about twenty minutes, I finally summon up the will to walk out with my wobbly legs.

Oh, I hope Julius is still waiting with the wine – lots and lots of wine.

I sigh in relief when I realize Kace is no longer on the dance floor with Mary.  I weave behind the flock until I can finally race out of the banquet hall.

A conversation between two breeders makes its way to my ears.

“Kace and Mary are discussing a courtship.  It’s crazy how things work out.”

I feel my legs go weaker.  They’re no longer just wobbly, they’re jelly.  I feel sick at my stomach.  I don’t know if I’m going to be able to stand much longer.

I grab the side of the wall for support.  I breathe in deeply – determined to get out of this hell hall – and make my way outside.

Twice in one night, I’ve been destroyed.  I’m so tired of it all.

I sprint down the hillside toward the woods.  I hear Kace call to me just as I reach the edge.

“Arena!  Stop!”

I stop unwillingly, but only because my body is too out of sorts to run anymore.  The fire and chills have subsided and now agony takes their place when I stare into the eyes that are no longer my captors.

Tears rest on the edge of my lids, begging to storm my cheeks as a sign of war, and I almost choke on the words escaping from my lips.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were entering into a courtship with Mary?”

His eyes seem to show confusion.  “Who told you that?”

“Just answer the damn question!”

Anger takes the place of confusion as he scolds me.  “What business is it of yours?  The last time I checked, I wasn’t supposed to be talking to you.  You made it abundantly clear to me that you weren’t going to listen to what I have to say.  You hid under the bed when I came to speak to Helena.  You didn’t object when she said you needed space.  Since then, you haven’t made any effort to hear my side of the story.  I assume you still need your damn space.  So here it is.  You don’t get to tell me to leave you alone and then tell me who I can or cannot see.”

I feel like a complete fool now.  He saw me under the bed.  He knew I was there.  A touch of humility enters my voice.

“You’re right.  I have no right to give a damn.  I’m sorry for … I don’t even know what I have to be sorry for.”  I clutch my aching head.

He moves to be closer, and his wounded tone is laced with anger.

“How about listening to Frank instead of me?  You supposedly hate him, but the second he tells you something, you believe it without question.  You were just looking for an excuse to not fall for me.  I don’t even know how to explain how ridiculous you are.  To think that I thought you were warming up to the idea of truly being with me.  I’m such a fool.  You’re even colder now than the day I met you.  At least then you had a better excuse.”

I hear something scrambling around behind me.  I’m a little distracted now as Kace continues to rant.  He finally gives up walks away from me when he thinks I’m ignoring him.

“Unbelievable.  The most frustrating woman I’ve ever known, I swear,” he says once he’s farther away.

I poke my head into the woods and inch by the trap set up.  I hear the noise again, and then I see something flash by.  It’s the silhouette of a man – an unknown man, possibly the owner of the alien fabric.  I scream loudly to him.

“You!  Stop now!”

But the fool warning has only quickened his pace.  Really?  You think someone’s going to stop because you said to?  Idiot.

I pull out the knife I have hidden high on the inside of my leg and start chasing the trespasser through the woods.  I hear Kace yelling angrily behind me.

“Arena, stop!”

He thinks I’m doing this just to be doing this?  He thinks I’m trying to get his attention probably.  Egomaniac.  I finally yell back with explanation.

“There’s someone in here!”

I hear more footsteps joining the chase from behind Kace now.  Apparently, others have been alerted to the threat from my screams.

I keep racing through the woods until I hear a crack beside me.  I look over just in time to be blindsided by the man.  I crash into the ground with a thud while tasting the metallic pour of blood in my mouth, but I kick the son of a bitch when he tries to run by me.

My assault barely forces him to stagger, but it gives me enough time to launch my knife.  I hear him yell as it connects with his upper leg, but he keeps running despite the wound.

Kace is suddenly at my side, helping me up.  He touches my bloody face.

“Ouch.”

He flinches from my exclamation of pain, and his eyes show guilt, concern, worry, and misery.

“Sorry.”

Then he continues to examine me with a gentler touch.  I pull his hands down and speak with a little breathlessness.  For once, it’s because of physical exertion, not because of him.

“My knife is imbedded in his thigh.  He can’t get too far.”

Kace whispers back, “I don’t suppose I could convince you to go back and let us handle this?”

I scowl at him.  “Not a chance.”

“I didn’t think so,” he murmurs as he pulls me to be behind him.

He takes the lead and moves through the woods with absolute stealth.  The others join us with the same silent approach.

Julius joins Kace to find out what’s going on.  Their whispered conversation does well to escape the grasp of my ears.  Finally, Julius nods, and then he moves back to me to examine the cheap shot took.

He then joins the others to inform them of the situation.  I can hear him whispering strategy.

One of the guys speaks in a low, almost inaudible whisper.

“That guy shouldn’t have taken a shot at Arena.  I feel sorry for him when Kace catches up to him.”

Julius mumbles a little louder.  “I feel sorry for him when Arena catches up to him.”
The comment makes me smile, but I’m quickly back on task when Kace holds up his hand.  He pulls out a knife from under his shirt and studies the pitch-black woods.

After a few moments of silence, he flings the knife in front of him, and we hear a scream erupting from a man.

We all race in the direction of the scream, and my heart beats louder.   The man’s hand is pinned against the large wall surrounding the back side of the forest.  He is still screaming in pain as he tries to free himself.

Kace walks over to the man and pulls the knife out with little finesse.  The man screams louder as he collapses to the ground while holding his hand and writhing in pain.

Kace speaks threateningly as Julius walks over to the wall.

“Who are you?  And what are you doing here?”

The man doesn’t say anything.  He continues to grab his aching, bloody hand.  Julius pulls back a bush to expose a hole that has been dug under the wall.  Someone had to have spent months tunneling under it.  The wall is at least four feet under ground.

“Well at least now we know where the predators have been coming in from,” Julius says while shaking his head.

Kace turns back to the man and kicks him in the stomach.

“Start talking before I slit your throat.”

The man finally answers with an eerie, laughing tone.

“Go ahead and do it.  Pretty soon, you’ll all cease to exist.  Juniper is coming, and he’ll have you all faded.  You don’t stand a chance.”

Kace glowers at him.  Who the hell is Juniper? Now’s not the time to ask him.

Kace responds as if he knows who the man is referring to.

“Juniper doesn’t control the viewer.  No one does.  Your idle threat doesn’t scare me.”

The guy laughs again as he grips the leg where my knife is still lodged to the hilt.

“You need to get outside of these walls every once and a while.  Juniper has learned how the machine works.  He’s faded hundreds in the past few years.  You’ll be next.  Mark my words.  No Shaylan warrior will be left standing.”

Within a breath, he pulls the knife from his leg and slits his own throat before anyone can stop him.  I turn away with a gasp as the red spews and falls down like a gushing crimson river, and Kace comes to shield me from the horrific sight.

He speaks quietly to the others.

“Drag him back, and patch that hole.  We’ll fix it more permanently in the morning before we leave.”

They all do as he says.  He wraps his arm around me as we make our way back to the camp, and I lean into him for support.  I need him right now, and I hate that.  It’s been too much to deal with for one night.

I’ve dealt with fades, but there aren’t any memories of those deaths.  I’ve read about the gruesome details of war, but I can’t recall a single thing due to the fact they were erased from my mind.  When one is faded, their body ceases to exist - as though time swallowed them into an abyss.

Now, vacant graves litter the designated area as a memorial rather than a burial ground.  This is the first time I’ve ever seen anyone actually die by anything other than natural causes.

Kace’s voice rattles slightly through his concern.  “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just a little mad I didn’t see him before he hit me,” I mutter distractingly.

No, I’m not okay.  I’ve lost you and my best friend, some jackass has just snuck into camp, some random guy named Juniper is threatening us with the devil’s artwork, and I just watched a guy slice his own throat.

Johnny races to the bottom of the hill as we finally exit the woods.  His eyes never catch mine, and he talks specifically to Kace.

“What happened to you guys?”

Kace answers him very instructively.  “A man breached the wall.  He’s most likely the trespasser we’ve been looking for.  Go help the others while I brief Malfus.”

Johnny shakes his head.  “You don’t know, do you?”

Kace tilts his head.  “What don’t I know?”

“Jespin escaped.  Malfus was calling for you guys.  He took out one of the intruders, but the rest got away before reinforcements could help him.”

“What?  How did they get by our men?” Kace growls.

“They clocked the two guards and knocked them out.  Then they took Jespin out on horseback.  The guy you chased was most likely just a diversion.  He probably opened the gates for them as well.  Kipton was shot with an arrow while on gate detail.  He’ll be fine, but he never got a look at anyone up there.”

Kace doesn’t waste time.  He storms toward Malfus’s cabin, dragging me behind him.  He doesn’t even knock.  He throws the door open and he and Malfus quickly start filling in the gaps for each other.

I start feeling as if I’m supposed to leave, but instead, I sit on a bench close to my mother who is standing in the corner.  She shrugs as if she’s uncertain about staying as well.

Malfus is shaking his head as Kace explains what we found.  He speaks through his stress.

“Juniper.  I should have known he was behind all of this.  Most likely Jespin was sneaking in and out of that hole to barter food.  Though I can’t imagine what he was asking for in return.”

My mother smears my special medicine over the wounds I sustained as she asks the question I have been dying to know the answer to.

“Who is Juniper?”

The reluctance in Malfus’s face is worrisome.  My gut twists in distorted positions when he finally answers.

“He’s the leader of the Mostiles.  He’s a very wicked brute.  He assumed command after the war…”

His voice trails off with the rest of the sentence suspended over our heads.  Kace looks at me compassionately, his pity oozing out.

My mother realizes why Malfus stopped, and she finishes his sentence with strained composure despite her true inner turmoil.

“The war that was faded.  The war my husband sacrificed himself for.  This man is fading people now?”

“That’s what he says.  The viewer is not a weapon though.  There’s no way to control it either.  It’s possible Juniper just has the bluff on them,” Kace says unconvincingly.

My mother sits down with fear riddling her eyes.  Malfus walks over to put his arms around her, showing her compassion I once never believed him capable of, and she buries her head into his chest.  It’s good to know he really does care about her.  It’s growing more and more obvious to me now.

Kace sits down beside me.  His arm makes its way across my back, and I desperately try not to think about how close we are.  I actually managed to somehow forget about my short, showy dress.

I shiver a little from the night chill spinning around me.  My adrenaline had pumped through me so forcefully during the chase, heating every part of me with fury and urgency.  Now that I’m starting to come back down, my body’s reaching a cooler temperature than normal.  Kace drapes a blanket over my shoulders in response to my next shiver.

Malfus speaks quietly while still comforting my mother.

“We should get some rest.  It’s a long journey to the competition.  I’m going to make sure everyone here is safe.  Joe will be acting as chief while we’re away.”

Kace stands to his feet and helps me up.  He holds my hand as we bid them goodnight.

Once we’re outside, he speaks with uncertainty.

“You can stay with me tonight if you want.  I’m sure Harrison and Helena would like some alone time before the journey.”

The thoughts of Mary and him entering a courtship enter my mind without permission.  I choke back the suddenly overwhelming desire to punch him right now.

Say no.  Say no.

“I can stay in the banquet hall,” I say very coldly.

His shoulders drop.  “Arena, please don’t treat me like one of the studs chasing after you.  Just stay with me.  I promise I won’t try anything.”

Tears fill up in my eyes.  My whole body shakes.

“I don’t think it would be decent, considering your soon-to-be-announced courtship.  I’d rather not look like a breeder chasing you.”

He lets out a slight chuckle.  What the fuck is funny about that?  Now I really want to punch him.

He sighs slightly while shaking his head.

“Mary and I are not, nor will we ever be, in a courtship.  I don’t know where you heard that ludicrous nonsense, but it’s incredibly false.  She cornered me one day and asked for a dance.  I was distracted watching you, and I suppose I agreed without actually meaning to.  We never did dance, for the record.”

Now I feel like a complete fool.  Tears are starting to leak out despite my pleading attempts to hold them back.  I’m relieved and humiliated all at once.

“Oh.”

“Now, will you please stay with me?”  His smoldering I’ve-got-you-trapped smile is now reining me in, though I’m still desperately fighting off Lady Lust with everything in my arsenal.

I want to so badly, but I can’t put myself in that position.

Say no.  Say no.

“Yeah.  I will.”

Damn it!  Why did I say yes?

The words just came out as though they conjured themselves with the help of my traitorous lips.

He takes my hand once more to lead me to his cabin, and like the hormonal driven fool I am, I follow too willingly.  The walls around me crumble and my heart races from his touch.

Why do I keep doing this to myself?

Once inside, he tosses me a shirt, and I peel out of the scandalous dress while his back is turned.  I climb into the bed, and he starts making a pallet on the floor.

I can feel the promiscuous words dangling from my tongue.  Don’t you dare say it.  Don’t you dare!

“We have a long trip to make in the morning.  It’s going to take a couple of very uncomfortable days to get there.  You shouldn’t give up your opportunity to sleep in a bed your last night here.”

Shit! I said it.

He continues to concentrate on his pallet making, not seeming to fully grasp the implications of my offer.

“It’s fine.  I had to take the other beds to the cabins once the repairs were made.  I’m not letting you sleep on the floor.”

I grimace slightly.  Keep your damn mouth shut.  Don’t you dare try again!

“I wasn’t saying either of us should sleep on the floor.  I think we should both be able to sleep on opposite sides of the bed.  It’s not like we haven’t shared the bed before.”

Fuck my life.

Why can’t I control one part of my body around him?  Now I’m essentially begging him to join me in the confines of the bed where we’ve made so many incredible, mouthwatering, and blush-worthy memories.

His eyes widen in surprise.

Yeah, I’m shocked I said it too, Mr. Irresistible.  Please say no.

He speaks with uncertainty.  “Okay.  If you’re sure that’s not going to bother you.”

Of course it’s going to fucking drive me nuts.  Just say never mind.  Say never mind!

“I’ll be fine with it.  I’ll stay on my side this time.”

Damn you, Arena Clash, and your rogue tongue.

He purses his lips and then starts unbuttoning his shirt.  Oh my damn.  He’s so sexy right now.  He’s the forbidden fruit, and Lady Lust is the snake in the garden begging me to taste it.

He stares at me with his heart-stopping look as he climbs into the bed.  My body stings from the burning sensation cloaking me with its fiery caress.

It’s almost impossibly hard not to curl into his arms as I have done every time we’ve been in bed together.  His lips are beseeching mine to join them, and I physically ache from denying their pleas.

My mind wanders back to how he told me he had loved me since the day we met.  I can feel the tears starting to slip free from my clutches and quietly drizzle down my face.

My vision is suddenly foggy from the bubbles of tears in my eyes.  I just wipe them away and silently cry myself to sleep.

CHAPTER 21

BREAKING DOWN

My body burns against the familiar touch of Kace.  Oh no!

I’m spiraled around him.  My body is pressed against his with an excruciating desire for more.  His neck is just centimeters from my lips, making my heart pulse in my ears as I stare at him hungrily.  My legs are wrapped around his waist, and I can feel them quivering from the realization.

I feel his fiery hand running up my leg as his eyes flitter open.

He smiles as he teases, “I thought you were going to stay on your side.”

My throbbing body begs for more, but I summon the strength to pull away sheepishly.

“Sorry.  I don’t know why I always do that.”

He frowns slightly with disappointment etching his face.  He climbs out of bed and pulls on his shirt.

Oh, thank goodness I don’t have to stare at Mr. Sexy As Hell’s perfect body.  He speaks with his back turned.

“I’ll go get your clothes from Harrison, and then we can get ready to head out.”

I smile as I climb out from under the covers.

“Thanks.  I’ll make us some coffee if you want me to.”

He flinches slightly as he stares at me by the stove.  I can feel gravity pushing against me, forcing me to work harder to stand in place.  He struggles to speak, and sadness riddles his voice.

“That would be great actually.  Thanks.”

“No problem.  I’ll see you in a few then,” I say with a shrug.

I’m trying so hard not to seem scattered, but there’s nothing in me solidified right now.  I’ve melted over night and turned into a pathetic puddle.

“Yeah.  I shouldn’t be long.”

He heads out the door, and my whole body gives under the weight of the air.  I slowly regain my strength - well, enough to stand without falling - and watch him through the window as he jogs off.

I lean over the stove to try to get a hold of myself.  I’ve completely lost my will to hold back.  He can’t know.  It would be too easy for him if he knew how quickly I would fold into his arms.  I have to at least try to seem like I’m not over it.  I can’t go back, but I know I will if he tries again.

I look at the table where the glass figure of my face once sat proudly.  Now the space is empty, just like me.  He’s given up.

I’m relieved, tormented, disappointed, and destroyed all at once.  I want him to give up so that I don’t give in, but knowing it’s possible he already has is agonizing.

I laugh under my breath when I hear a knock at the door.  He must be worried that I’m indecent again.

Surprisingly, I open the door to a startled Mary instead of a sexy Kace, and my face falls instantly.

What the hell is she doing here?

I cover myself slightly now, and she looks around outside as if she is in the wrong place.

“I’m looking for Kace.  I could have sworn this was his cabin,” she murmurs with her usual tart tone.

Her eyes glow with venom when they finally rest on my shirt – his shirt that I’m wearing.  I narrow my eyes at her as menace moves in and takes over.

“It is.”

I’m sure as hell not going to tell her Kace and I are still not together.  I want this bitch to squirm.

She scowls at me.

“It figures you would jump into bed with him the moment he considers a courtship with me.”

Unbelievable.  I step forward to rip her head off her shoulders just as Kace returns.

“Mary?”

He sounds confused, worried, and a little dreadful as he gauges my expression.  He continues with his confused tone.

“What are you doing here?”

She turns to face him with a giddy, fake smile.  “I came to speak about our relationship.”  Then she narrows her eyes at me.  “I didn’t realize your cabin was infested with leaches though.”

That does it.  I’m sick of this shit.

I lunge at her, but Julius shows up out of nowhere and catches me midair, dragging me just out of grasp from tearing her eyes out of their sockets.  Kace chuckles lightly as Julius struggles to restrain me.

I scream, “Let me go, Julius!”

Mary’s eyes are wide, fear taking over her once condescending and malevolent smirk.  “I guess you finally see what kind of savage she is.”

Kace laughs a little harder as his eyes find mine and spark with excitement.

“I’ve always known.  It’s her savagery that reeled me in.”

I stop fighting.  I’m instantly tamed by his smoldering stare.  Our eyes are locked, and I feel as though I’ve gone from a raging lioness to a sacrificial lamb.

Julius snickers at my abrupt calming, and Mary huffs.

“Can we talk in private please?”

Kace keeps his eyes locked with mine as he responds coolly to her.  “No.  I’ve told you before I don’t have any intentions of being involved with you.  I told you just last night where my heart belongs.”  His eyes finally cut from mine to meet hers.  “I’m sorry, Mary, but I don’t want to discuss this further.”

Tears fill her eyes and flow bountifully.  She sure as hell doesn’t cry pretty.  She wails like a child and quickly retreats with her ridiculous excuse for a run.

Wow.  Even Helena runs better than that.

Julius rolls his eyes as he finally inspects my indecent attire.

“I’m glad to see the two of you got over your little squabble.”

I squeal slightly when my mind returns from its vacation and I see all the people staring at me wearing nothing more than Kace’s shirt.  Oh shit!

I spring inside the cabin and hide beneath the covers like a shivering mouse.  Julius and Kace are both chuckling as they walk in.

Kace smiles as he speaks while placing my bag full of clothes on the ground.  “It’s not what it appears to be.  I just figured Harrison and Helena would enjoy a night alone.”

Julius rolls his eyes again.  “Of course you did.  You two have really got to give it up.  At some point, enough is enough.  The girl loves the boy.  The boy loves the girl.  The girl and the boy live happily ever after, not in denial.”

I launch a pillow at him, but he catches it and tosses it back while chuckling slightly.

“I came by to tell you I’m bringing a guest, so you guys try to behave in front of her.”

My eyebrows rise in surprise.  “Her?  Not just a giggler?”

He laughs nervously under his breath as he looks down shyly.

“Kendall will be accompanying me on the journey.  Please do not embarrass me.  I’d like for things to go smoothly.  She’ll learn all of my faults on her own.  Don’t be pointing them out for her, please.”

I hold my hands up innocently.  I’m actually excited to hear Julius giving up his stag title.  Kace teases him slightly.

“So the boy finally gave in to the girl, eh?”

He laughs at the little joke.  “Yeah.  As it turns out, she’s pretty great.  We have a lot of things in common, and she’s super hot when she lets her hair down.”

And the creep within resurfaces.  I’m still happy though.

I laugh with Kace at Julius’s less than romantic line, and then Kace playfully adds, “I can’t speak for Arena, but I swear I’ll be on my best behavior.”

Julius narrows his eyes at me as if I’m some sort of devil’s advocate.  Sheesh.  What kind of ass does he think I am?

I shrug as I reply with a heaping mound of innocence.

“What?  I’m always on my best behavior.”

They both roll their eyes in unison.  Julius speaks with exaggerated sarcasm.

“Oh boy, it’s getting deep in here.  Someone had better find a shovel before we all get buried alive.”

I glare at him playfully as he walks out chuckling.  I snicker as I turn to Kace.

“I can’t believe he finally gave in.”

Kace isn’t laughing anymore though.  He gives me a glimpse of his best forced smile.

“Sometimes people get to enjoy a happily ever after.”

I squirm uncomfortably from the underlying content in his words.  Our happily ever after was stomped, crushed, and thoroughly fucked over.  My heart is still searching for the lost pieces haphazardly scattered abroad.

He notices my reaction and forces another smile.

“You can get dressed.  I’ll come back in a minute, and we can enjoy our coffee together if you would like.

“That sounds good to me, but then I need to go see my mother.  She said she wanted to talk to me before we left.”

He shrugs.  “We should have plenty of time.”

I knock on Malfus’s cabin door, and my mother opens it with a warm smile covering her face.  It’s odd seeing her so comfortable in the home of the man I once thought of as my worst enemy.

She pulls me in and I join her at the grand table.  Malfus’s cabin is huge.  I suppose that’s one perk to being tribal chief.  I had lived in one similar to it when I was a child.

My mother speaks with an affectionate tone.

“I was hoping we could discuss something that I’ve been uncertain about approaching.”

I shrug.  “Okay.”  Please don’t be about Kace.

“It’s about you and Kace.”

Fuck! Of course it is.  What else would make her so timid?

“It’s been over for a while, Mom.  We’re both trying to find a way to be in each other’s company without it being… awkward.  Just let it rest in pieces.”

She doesn’t laugh as I had expected, given my morbid bit of humor tacked on to the end.

“It’s far from over, my dear.  The two of you have just stumbled.  You haven’t hit an impasse, and I don’t want you to lose him completely.  You need to know why he did it.  Since you won’t listen to him, I was hoping you would listen to me.”

Now I’m a little pissed.  “Did he come to you?  Did he ask you to speak on his behalf?”

“He did no such thing.  He’s too prideful to even show me that he’s just as devastated as you are.”

“I’m fine, Mom.  I promise,” I lie.

She sighs as she takes my hand.  “You’re not fine.  I’ve never wanted to push you when I knew you were struggling.  You’ve always been so closed off, and I’ve done my best to try and let you deal with things the way you want to.  That’s not an easy task for a mother, and I’ve finally decided it’s my job to guide you whether it makes you mad or not.”

“I’m not going to be mad at you, but nothing you say will make me forget what he did.  And as for the truth, I already know it.  I heard you and Malfus that night.  It doesn’t change the fact that he spied on me, and it doesn’t make me feel less of a fool for lusting after him.”

She sighs out deeply, her face falling and cloaking with guilt as though I’ve just said something to rip out her heart.

“You just confirmed that I’ve been remiss in my duties as a mother.”

“What do you mean?” I ask in bemusement.

“Dear, if you believe that what the two of you share is defined as lust, then I’ve failed you.  My daughter should be able to distinguish the difference between love and lust.”

Love?  She’s lost her mind.

Tears full of regretful sins stream down her cheeks with a vicious, unforgiving flow.  What the hell is wrong with her?

“Eventually these… feelings will subside.  It was just lust.  I do know the difference.  I crave him in a… carnal way.”

I squirm uncomfortably against the wooden chair.  I really hate having this conversation with my mother of all people, but I don’t want her feeling as though she’s failed me in any way.  I really do know the difference.

Please leave it alone, Mom.

“Just because you desire someone in the physical sense doesn’t mean there’s no love.  Physical attraction is just the lure.  The first day he came to the Tympest camp I saw your eyes spark with intrigue, and I saw a slew of emotions stirring in you that I had assumed would forever lay dormant.  As a mother, my worst fear was that you would never open yourself up to anyone.

“The day pf the first banquet I saw excitement in your eyes, and I saw you ready to venture on a journey I had never thought possible.  During the dance, I did see lust.”

She giggles slightly before continuing with a more serious tone.  “The night you announced your courtship, I saw fear, but I also saw a depth of passion surge from you that I would have never thought possible - one that surpasses the desires of the physical.

“The kiss the two of you engaged in was anything but fake.  The day he went missing, I saw the most gut-wrenching, agonizing pain I’ve seen you display since… your father.”

I sit back in my chair as the horrible day of Kace’s disappearance replays in my mind.  That was the day that had changed everything.

“When he returned, I saw need in your eyes.  Everyday after that, until the fallout, I saw pure happiness.  It did nothing but make me feel as though I had done a wonderful job in raising you.  I’ve worried so much about having given you too much space.  I just never knew the proper way to comfort you.”

“I don’t need to be comforted, coddled, or anything else.  You’re beating a dead horse.  You didn’t fail me as a mother, you respected me.  This is the first time I’ve ever felt like you don’t understand what I need.”

She exhales loudly.  “I understand what you want, dear, but this is the first time I’m giving you what you need.  You’re too much like your father sometimes, and I think I’ve always been slightly intimidated by that.  When you’re emotionally vulnerable, you’re defensive like he was.  It’s as though I revert to the eggshells I once crept over around him.  As your mother, I can’t deny you the guidance you deserve any longer.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being like Dad.  And I’ve never known you to tread lightly around either of us.”

She laughs a little.  “On certain matters, no I haven’t, but in this department, I always have.”

I lean over and put my head on the table.  She’s really starting to annoy me.  I hate this conversation.

She sighs with reluctance as she proceeds with her torture.

“I think it’s wonderful that you wish to emulate your father.  He was an incredible man.  I’ve just always hoped you wouldn’t turn out exactly like him.”

My head shoots back up and my eyes glare at her.  How dare she.

“How can you say that?  I thought you loved Dad.  What’s happened to you?”

Her eyes glare at me now, and I feel like a child again.

“I loved your father more than you will ever understand.  I threw every piece of my heart into our marriage from the moment I said ‘I do’.  Don’t act as though I have no right to speak about my late husband.”

Fuck!  She’s pissed.

“Why did you say being like Dad was a bad thing?”

She calms slightly.  Thank God.

“Because your father didn’t always love me the way you remember.  It wasn’t until you were born that he changed.  The doctor gave you no hope, and your father was finally unable to close himself off from his true feelings.  The thought of having you snatched away before you had even seen the first sunset, taken a step, or said a word was enough to make the man of steel crumble like a fragile piece of glass.

“That night we curled you into our arms and your father held me all night long.  He told me he loved me for the first time.”

I’m shocked, dumbfounded, and completely lost.  I feel as though someone is waving my world in front of me like a taunting you-can’t-get-me game before shattering it to the ground.

“You married him without him telling you he loved you?  Why?”

“Because I thought my love was strong enough for the both of us.  I learned what a struggle that truly was.  He never knew how to just let go and let me in.  It was his only flaw.  He cared about me, and I knew deep down he had to love me.  I would’ve never believed he was that closed off, but he proved me wrong.

“He didn’t really want to marry me, but he wasn’t about to let someone else have me.  I would’ve done anything for him, and I proved that on our wedding day when I married a man who refused to love me.

“I don’t want that life for you.  I don’t want that life for Kace.  The two of you deserve the happiness your father and I found after you were born.  You saved us.  Now save yourself.  Just let go, sweetie.  You don’t have to be so strong all the time.  It’s okay to relinquish some of that control.”

My mind is reeling from the information overload my mother has just dumped on me.  I’ve only ever known my dad to adore my mom.  How did I not ever know this?

Why is everyone so insistent on keeping secrets from me?  Does everyone truly think I’ll unravel at the seams at the mention of my father?

I can’t deal with her right now.  I can’t deal with this.  I’m sick of the surprises, the secrets, the damn lies… all of it.  I slide out of my chair and walk to the door.

My back stays turned as my cool tone mumbles, “I’ll see you in a bit.”

As I open the door, my mother offers one more piece of unwelcome advice.

“Arena, don’t wait until you lose what you have to realize what you had.  Love like the one you’re avoiding, well it doesn’t happen often.  You should think about that.”

I say nothing.  Instead, I quickly exit the cabin.

My mother has never spoken to me like this.  She’s teased me, she’s asked questions knowing I wouldn’t answer, but she’s never forced herself into my mind.

Why did she wait until now?  This whole thing is confusing enough as it is.  I don’t need her mixing in a whole new pot of emotions.

I see Kace smiling at me as the men load up the horses.  I keep my face straight as I strap my stuff down.

He walks over to me with a perplexed sense of worry.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.  I just realized Malfus isn’t such a good influence on my mother.”

“Why?”

“Because she just did the one thing I’ve always respected her for not doing.  She’s no different from anyone else here now.”

My vague answers seem to irritate him.  He gently tugs my arm and forces me to look at him.

“What happened?”

I shrug free.  “Nothing I want to talk about.  Perhaps my chatty mother can fill you in on all the details.  She seems to be sticking her nose wherever she wants to these days and ripping down monuments along the way.”

He grabs his head in frustration as he scolds me.  “So we’re back to cold Arena now?  Make up your mind.”

He huffs away, and I fight the tears pleading to put on a show.  Fuck the tears, fuck my mother, and fuck him.  I’m done with all of this.

No one is who they say they are.  Fuck everyone for lying to me about my father for years.  I’ve held my father on an impossibly high pedestal for as long as I can remember and even the times I can’t remember.

Now my mother just enjoyed shattering the illusion.  He’s not here to defend himself, and she knows that.  How dare she say he never loved her until I was born.  How dare she use him against me just to try and make me talk to a boy she likes.

She just reached a new level of low in my eyes.

CHAPTER 22

TENSION SO THICK…

We’ve been traveling all day, and the night is starting to close in on us.  My mother has been trying to catch my eyes since the assault on my father’s name, but I refuse to let her.  Kace has desperately tried to get me to speak to him about what happened, and it’s just pissing me off that much more.

The tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife, and we still have half a day’s ride before we reach the competition site.  Malfus wants us to have a day to rest.  He says the town of Greyhorn is elaborately frivolous.  It isn’t like the intimate community we’re accustomed to.

They have a large arena in the middle, and the festivities there center around the competitors.  People travel there during the competition to barter and watch the spectacle.  Markets set up overnight, and people often travel for weeks just to join in on the spectacle.  It’s fortunate we live so close.

I climb off the horse as we set up camp.  Two guys take stations to guard us for the night.  Malfus brought them along just for that reason.

The glow of the viewer seems all the harsher out here in the open without the comfort of home toning it down.  The purples swirl with the blues to sprinkle their luminescent sparks on the world around us.

Helena walks over to me, a taxing look in her eyes.  She glances toward Johnny before whispering.

“So he’s still ignoring you?

At least she’s not coming to talk about Mom or Kace.  I always knew she was the smart one in our family.

“Yeah.  He won’t even look at me.  He’ll get over it sooner or later.  There’s someone out there for him - it just isn’t me.  Eventually, he’ll see that.”

She smiles a little as she whispers quieter.

“I think we both know who is for you.”

She motions to Kace.  He’s propped against a tree laughing with Harrison and Julius.  His shirt is flowing in the wind, revealing sneak peeks at his perfect lines hiding under it.  Damn wind.

At least she’s not being so intrusive in her approach.  I hate when people try to tell me how to feel.

I turn back to her with a slight smile.

“I don’t know.  Things are even more complicated than they were.  I don’t like knowing he spied on me.  He used everything he knew to lure me in.  I would feel like a fool if I trusted him again.”

“He didn’t use anything he knew to lure you in.  All he ever watched you do was hunt.  Harrison assured me that he’s been himself the entire time.  The only thing he’s done out of character is fall in love.”

There’s that word again… love.  It’s starting to sound like the dirtiest word in the English language.  I shake my head to free myself from the encroaching anger.

I look back over to Kace.  He’s smiling as his eyes catch mine in their wandering state.

Trapped again!

My eyes are fully glued to his, and I’m so screwed in this moment.  The heat floods me against my will, and I’ll be damned if I don’t feel the chill bumps rising.

He knows I’m on warm again.  I’m more than warm.  I’m a raging inferno right now.  My momentary anger has deserted me once more, and Lady Lust has kicked the door off its hinges and returned with a burning vengeance.

Helena breaks me out of my trance as she whispers, “I think you’ve acted more out of character than what he has if you ask me.”

Fuck.  Change the subject!  And keep your damn eyes away from Kace!

“So you and I are bunking together?” I ask while breaking free from my trapped gaze.

She laughs at my obvious diversion.

“Yeah, Malfus doesn’t want anyone to lose focus.”

Kace and Harrison walk over to us, and Harrison is laughing ridiculously hard at some secret joke.  Kace is doing his best to suppress his laughter, though he’s failing.  Helena narrows her eyes.

“What are you boys laughing about?”

Harrison starts laughing even harder now, and Kace is no longer able to hold his back.  Julius walks up with a menacing smirk.

“I know why they’re laughing.”

Kace elbows him in the ribs, piquing my interest that much more.  Kendall walks up to join us as Julius continues with his playful tone.

“They can’t wait to see you in your little uniforms.”

I tilt my head to the side.  Helena seems to be confused as well as she responds warily.

“What little uniforms?”

Harrison laughs brutally now as he walks over to kiss her before answering her question.

“There’s a dress code for the warriors in the competition.  Now, although it might seem offensive, the women are required to wear something that feminizes them.  They don’t want the men and women to blend in with each other.  Abigail stitched your uniforms herself so there wouldn’t be any embarrassing wardrobe malfunctions, if you know what I mean.”

I look over at Kace who’s smiling behind his canteen.  Their vague explanation to their amusement irks me.

“What do they look like?” I ask curiously.

Kace spews water everywhere as the laughter erupts from him.  Julius chuckles out a response, still keeping the vagueness in play.

“Like something a girl warrior would wear.”

They all roar out laughing in unison.  Julius continues playfully, “Just keep in mind it’s too late to turn back now.”

Helena rolls her eyes at their endless laughter.  I shrug because I’m completely uninterested in the comedy.  There isn’t a whole lot that could be worse than the dresses Abigail has been making me wear.

I start to climb into the tent, but the smoldering tone of Kace distracts me from my escape attempt.

“I’ll be right beside you, so let me know if you need anything.”

Thanks a lot.  Now I’ll never fucking go to sleep.

“I’ll be fine, as long as you keep Harrison in there with you.  If he sneaks over here to be with Helena, I might accidentally break his nose.  That wouldn’t be so good.”

He laughs under his breath, and I fight the gravity field drawing me in.

“I’ll keep him away.”

Our eyes catch sight of Julius and Kendall climbing into their tent together.  Kace looks back at me and winks.  He disappears into the tent directly beside me.

Fuck.  Now I wish Malfus put us together.  I want to wake up tangled around him.  I want to feel his breath on me.  I want to feel his kiss.  I want to feel… him.

I slap my forehead in aggravation for my constant moodiness.  The mounting sexual tension is driving me crazier than I already am.  I can’t wait to enter the sparring ring and release some of this built up frustration.  I pity the first guy that faces off with me.

The smell of morning invades my nose, offering me fresh dew and morning glory blooms, but I can’t see the red glow through my eyelids yet.  I snuggle against my blanket, but then I’m jarred out of my peaceful moment as someone yells loudly.

“Wake up!  Earthquake!”

The tent is shaking violently to add to the dramatic wakeup-call.

I poke my head out and angrily glare at a laughing Julius as he releases our tent from his grubby paws.

“You’re so annoying sometimes.”

“Sometimes?  I must be losing my touch.  I used to be annoying all of the time.”

I try not to laugh as I climb out of the tent.  I’m wearing my tight shirt and my tiny shorts – possibly, to attract Kace’s attention, even though I’m trying to stay away.  I’m such a hot-and-cold, confused and confusing idiot.

Helena climbs out in a similar pair of shorts, prompting Julius to roll his eyes.

“You two are definitely sisters.”

He walks away stiffly and Helena and I both laugh as we walk over to the fire already ablaze.  The seductive smell of coffee brewing beckons for my attention.

Johnny’s eyes widen as he catches sight of my nighttime attire.  He squirms uncomfortably as I sit down beside him.

“So are you going to hate me forever?”

He half smiles at me, though it’s obviously forced.  “Not forever.  Just for a little while.”

I roll my eyes and bump him with my shoulder.  He nudges me back, and I see a spark of my friend returning.  My eyes quickly shift their attention when I see Kace and Harrison walking toward us.

Now my sight is glued to the shirtless, incredible body of Mr. Irresistible.  He’s too fucking hot first thing in the morning, and I’m surely a hot mess.

Harrison is rubbing his sleepy eyes as he hugs Helena.  He speaks with slight irritation in his tone.

“Did you two get the earthquake wakeup-call?”

Helena laughs.  “Yes we did.  Julius tends to be a little obnoxious when he travels apparently.”

Kace sits down on the other side of me while he mumbles with a bit of agitation from the rude awakening.

“Julius tends to always be obnoxious.”

I snicker slightly.  Then he leans over to grab the coffee and rests his arm on my leg as he pours it in his cup.  My eyes are blazing against him – per the usual.  Johnny rolls his eyes and huffs before walking away.

Kace shrugs innocently as he speaks to me.

“Something I said?”

Helena laughs as she responds for me.

“No.  He’s just a little hurt right now.  He professed his love to Arena, and she told him she just wanted to be friends.”

Julius sits down in place of Johnny and teases me slightly.

“Imagine that.  Someone bidding for Arena’s attention and getting shot down.  I’m starting to see a pattern here, young lady.”  He twitches his finger in mock disapproval.

I shove him hard, and he laughs all the fiercer.  Kace leans over to me in order to whisper.

“I told you he didn’t like being your brother.  I know what I’m talking about.”

“Well, he’s going to be mad for a while, but he’ll get over it eventually.  We’ve been friends for too long to let something like this ruin it.”

Julius shakes his head.  “Someone please tell me why this girl acts like such a guy, and why guys act like such girls around her.”

They all chuckle lightly – everyone but Kace and me.  Kace shakes his head as he speaks with a more serious tone.

“Because she’s amazing.”

Everyone stops laughing, given the conversation’s uncomfortable turn.  Kace walks back to his tent to change.  Everyone else disperses as well in an effort to escape the new tension.

Well… I feel awkward now.

The ride seems to go on forever, and the trip has been brutal on horseback.  We can finally see the town of Greyhorn coming into sight.

Kace rides up beside me and cautions me.

“Keep in mind this place is going to be crawling with people from all over.  People bring silk, satin, rare foods, metals, seeds and so much more just to acquire a seat for the games.  There are multitudes of people trading at the vendor stands as well.  You need to be careful at all times.  Try not to go out by yourself, and avoid the shadows at all times.  I’ll be glad to escort you anywhere you want to go at any time.”

I resist the urge to chuckle.  Mr. Protective has just surfaced in the form of Mr. Sexy As Hell.  Oh, my damn he’s hot when he’s like this.

Don’t stare.  Don’t stare!

“I’ll be fine.  Don’t worry.  I shouldn’t need an escort.”

He half smiles and returns to his place beside Julius.

We stop in front of a large building.  I’ve only ever read about any such things existing.  It towers over us and stretches out for yards.  The enormity and the beauty entrance me.  It had to have taken forever to build such a monumental masterpiece.

Malfus walks back out of the building and speaks to all of us.

“So it appears there are more competitors here this year, and they’re asking the tribes to double up guests.  I’m sorry you’ll have to share, but we’ll only be here for a few days.  Helena and Arena can share a room, and the rest of you can pair up as you please.”

Helena rolls her eyes.

“I really thought Harrison and I would be able to share a room once we got here.”

I shrug.

“Sorry.”

Kace’s muscles flex as he pulls some of the bags from the wagon.  Some girls are gawking and giggling as he throws the heavy bags over his shoulder.

“Hey, Kaceton,” they chuckle in unison.

They’re waving and acting like total fools right now.  I scowl at them and grab my bags from him.

I can hear the contempt in my voice.  “Friends of yours I assume?”

He shrugs.  “Admirers, not friends.”

Oh, that just pisses me off to no end.  He’s so… so… smug.  I barge past him in a huff.  I hear him snicker softly as I do so.

Egomaniac.

He’s in his element now.  This is one of his hunting grounds.  I’m not on hallowed ground anymore.  I may very well have to watch him be with one of those damn groupies begging for his attention.  My gut knots up ferociously and I feel nauseated.

I try to shake it off as we follow Malfus up the elegant staircase that seems to ascend to the heavens.  I’ve never seen so many stairs in all my life.  Kace smiles when he sees my intrigue shining through very clearly.

Helena and I take the first room, and Kace and Harrison pass us to go into the second.  The room is large and so much more elegant than I had imagined it would be.  I plop down on the incredibly plush bed, and my eyes flutter shut before I even have a chance to fight sleep.

CHAPTER 23

THE SHADOWS

I wake up to the dead of night, alone and feeling a little abandoned actually.  Helena isn’t in here, and it’s too quiet – spooky quiet.  Shadows swirl around the room only lit by the glowing light of the moon and the purplish blue shades of the devil’s artwork.  I shiver as I try to assess the foreign shapes in the room.

My stomach growls fiercely to remind me I’ve neglected it too long.  I sigh and wipe my eyes as they work tirelessly to focus on all of the new surroundings.

I stumble slightly once my feet hit the floor that is farther from the bed than I’m accustomed to.

I pull on some fresh clothes, smooth down my hair, and head out to go knock on Kace’s door.  I take a deep breath before putting my hand up to knock.

I quickly drop my fist before it connects with the door when I hear giggling on the other side of it.  I hear a man and a woman both laughing now.

I roll my eyes as I mock the statement Kace had made just hours earlier.

“I’ll be glad to escort you anywhere you want to go at any time.”

Yeah right.  Unbelievable!  Just several hours into the night, and he already has a girl in his room.  It takes every bit of my strength not to break down the door and drag whatever breeder he has in there out by her hair.

You don’t have the right to be mad.  You let him go.  Oh well… I’m still pissed.  How can he do this when he knows I’m right next door?

I wipe the few escapee tears away as I run down the stairs and barge through the door.  I was expecting it to be quiet and dark, but I’m very wrong.

The street lights are lit up brilliantly, and there are people everywhere.  The small flames dance with excitement inside the casings, and it’s as if I’m in another world.

People are laughing, dancing, singing, and swapping goods.  There are men gathered around, drinking and talking loudly.  My anger hasn’t abandoned me yet, but it has allowed intrigue to share the same space.

I make my way through the crowd and take notice of the variety of people that have collected in the streets.  I finally find a place with a sign saying, “Warriors eat and drink for free.”

I take a seat at the back table and a woman with a tattered apron walks up to take my order.

“What can I get you honey?”

“I saw a sign outside that said ‘warriors eat and drink free.’  I’m Arena Clash.”

Her mouth gapes open as her eyes study me.

“I’ve heard about you – the first female all around contender.  These streets have been buzzing over your arrival.  My daughter has been begging to go to see you.  Do you think you could get her in with you?”

“I’m allowed to bring one guest, and I don’t have anyone else to take, so I don’t see why not.”

She smiles with a spark of pride and excitement.

“Thank you.  She’ll be thrilled.  I’ll send her to meet you at the entrance on opening day.”

“I can’t wait to meet her.”

She scurries off and I stare out the window to observe the wild town of Greyhorn.  My mind instantly flashes back to the unknown visitor in Kace’s room, and I almost lose my appetite.

The lady returns with a plate of food, and I barely thank her before I dig in.  Apparently, my appetite isn’t too affected after all.

Very quietly, I eat and even indulge in a drink.  I make my way back into the glamorous town.  It’s so beautiful - breathtaking actually.

As I’m walking past one of the buildings, I hear crying.  I turn down the small gap that leads to an opening behind the building.  My eyes scour for the person in need, but all I’m met with is the taste of blood.

Someone has just blindsided me, and my face is aching from the unexpected and unprovoked impact.  My eyes try to take in the sights to inform my mind what the hell is going on right now.

The blood pool thickens in my mouth, and finally I see them.  There’s a group of men circling me like buzzards over the body of the dead.  One of them speaks with an ominous tone.

“Well, well, what do we have here?  A pretty girl roaming the streets all alone.  It must be our lucky night boys.  Didn’t anyone tell you to stay away from the shadows, sweetheart?  It gets dangerous at night when there’s no one around to protect you.”

I wipe the blood away from my mouth as I scoff, “I hate to be called sweetheart, and I don’t need protecting.”

One of the guys laughs now.  He walks up to me, grabs my hair, and sniffs it.  He smiles while his eyes dance with malicious intentions, but they grow wide in unexpected surprise when I smile back.

I knee him in the crotch, and then I knee him in the face when he doubles over.  I kick another in the stomach, and elbow another in the face when he tries to race me from the back.  I smile as I taunt them.

“You boys sure you can handle me?”

The one who had spoken first smirks at me.

“Feisty little thing aren’t you?  I like it rough.”

I laugh slightly.  “That’s the only way I play… sweetheart”

He charges me, and I spin around to elbow him in the back of the neck.  He hits the ground hard.  I turn back around to see they’ve all surrounded me as if they’re about to rush me at once.

I feel the unforgiving wall behind me, warning me I’m trapped.  I take my stance and get ready for anything, but before the first punch is even thrown, a guy is flying into the wall beside me.

I exhale in relief when I hear Kace threatening the pack of scoundrels.

“You boys really messed with the wrong girl.”

He quickly takes his place beside me, and it’s all I can do not to hug him at this moment.

I smile when I see Julius grabbing two guys and crashing their skulls into each other.  He dusts his hands off as he speaks in a taunting, teasing tone.

“Just in case you boys were wondering, I like it rough too.”

Some of the others join us now, including Johnny.  My attackers start backing up slowly, and then they turn to retreat with haste.  The guy who had originally threatened me is still lying on the ground, spitting out blood.

Kace yanks him up from the ground and throws him against the wall.

The guy’s threatening tone is lost and fear resides in its place.  His confident and intimidating stature melts as he starts crying.

“Please don’t.  I’m sorry.  I really am sorry.”

Julius rolls his eyes and slaps his head.

“Oh good grief lad.  Grow a set.”

I throw my weight into the punch I deliver, and my fist connects with the center of his face.  I pull back to watch him fall, satisfied he’s out cold before he hits the ground.

Slimy son of a bitch.

I wipe my blood away again as I speak to the unconscious lump that lies limply on the ground.

“That’s how you throw a punch, you piece of shit.”

Kace walks up to inspect the damage that has been done to my face.  I push his hands away, still feeling upset by his earlier betrayal.

“I’m fine.  It won’t even swell.  I’ve endured harder hits from infants.”

He smirks slightly and then his look turns more serious.  His eyes narrow and swirl with pain, fear, anger, and a whole list of other emotions.  Everyone walks away as he scolds me.

“Why did you go out by yourself?  I told you I would go anywhere you wanted to go.”

I roll my eyes and fight the needy tone trying to sound out.

“I came to get you, but I heard you and your company, so I just left.”

I can’t wipe the loathsome disgust from my face.  He looks at me with innocent confusion.  Did he really not think that would hurt me?  I realize I’ve pushed him away, but our breakup is still pretty fresh in my opinion - too fresh to be getting it on with another girl with me next door.

He speaks with complete bewilderment.  “I had company?  When?”

“Before I went to get something to eat.  I came to get you, and I heard you and some girl laughing.  I just went on my own.  I was afraid to wake anyone else up.”

He laughs slightly, and that just pisses me off.  What the hell is funny about that?  I just continue to scowl at him until he explains himself.

“You didn’t hear me and some girl.  You heard Harrison and your sister.  I haven’t been in my room all evening.  I came out to the tavern to enjoy a drink with the boys.  Warriors drink for free.  It’s one of the perks of coming.  I left you a note to tell you where we were.  Helena said you were asleep, so I slipped it under the door.

“We were outside the tavern enjoying conversation with other warriors when we heard you threatening the mongrels.  We were diving down every alley trying to find you.”

Oh hell.  Now I just feel like a jackass.  My shoulders drop, and my face is instantly cloaked with embarrassment.

“I just thought you-”

He sighs as he interrupts my sentence.

“I really thought you knew me better than that.  I wouldn’t do that sort of thing after telling you-”

He leaves his sentence unfinished and suspended midair.  He’s so hurt by my misconception.  Now I feel like an absolute jerk.  He speaks a little quieter when he finally does continue.

“Let’s get you back up to your room.”

We spend the entire short journey in silence, and I feel like I need to say something – anything at all to relieve myself of the guilt.

“I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have assumed you were-”

He just shakes his head.  I can tell he’s upset with me.

“It’s fine.  I really don’t know how to prove to you who I am anymore.  I’m used to you thinking the worst about me.”

Fuck.  How many ways can I possibly apologize for this?

“I’m sorry.  I don’t think the worst about you.”

I think the best about you, and I’m praying for the worst so that I can be free from your spell.

He just walks away without another word.  I open the door and sigh loudly.  Helena still isn’t back, so I walk out into the hallway just as Kace is staggering back out of his room with an odd smile.  I speak timidly.

“Hey sorry, but Helena still isn’t back.”

He laughs awkwardly while rubbing the back of his neck.  That usually means he’s uneasy or nervous.  I’m sure it has something to do with our earlier conversation.

“Yeah.  I think she and Harrison may have nullified the sleeping arrangements.  They are sleeping in there right now.”

He points to his room, and I walk over to the door.  I can hear the agitation in my tone.

“I’ll wake her up.”

He speaks as I barge into the room.

“I wouldn’t-”

Soft blond curls bounce under the moonlight painting the room through the window.  Huffed breaths and jaded pants sound out, making my mouth gape in realization as I fight back a gagging reflex.

I close the door much quicker than I opened it as my face beams red.  I lean up against it with wide eyes and a knotted stomach.  I feel so humiliated.

Kace is laughing hysterically now.  Asshole.

“They aren’t sleeping!” I squeal out.

He laughs harder and grabs his side as if he’s in pain.

“I wasn’t going to say what they’re actually doing.  I tried to stop you.”

I can hear the humiliation pouring out of me now.

“You didn’t try hard enough.”

He laughs even harder as he clutches his side tighter.  He bends over, trying to compose himself.  He shakes his head as he speaks with a little laughter still in his tone.

“Well, I guess I’m going to be up for a while it seems.  You want to grab a drink?”

Um… hell no.

If I drink, I’ll act a fool.  I sure as shit don’t trust a drunk me with a smoking hot Kace.

“You need your rest.  Just sleep with me.”

I realize what a bad choice of words that was when his face blushes and he smiles very large.  I shake my head.

“Not like they’re sleeping.  I mean real sleep.”

He laughs again as he speaks.

“I realize what you meant.  I just wasn’t expecting you to say that.”

“It’s a bed in a room without all of that going on.”  I dramatically point to his door to emphasize my point.  “You need sleep, and there’s no telling how long the two of them are going to be…sleeping.”

He laughs loudly once again.  My face is still the crimson color that consumed it earlier.  I’m worried it’ll be stained that way forever after this whole scarring ordeal.

“Thanks.  That would be nice actually, considering my bed is right next to the one they’re desecrating.”

We both laugh as we head into my room.  He stops as I light a candle.  He turns to me with wide eyes.

“You only have one bed in here?”

I shrug.  “I suppose they didn’t see it as a problem since we’re sisters.”

He squirms uncomfortably.  Now I feel uncomfortable too.  We just slept in the same bed of his cabin, so why is this any different?

He bends over to the floor and picks up the note he left for me.  It had been lying in front of the door.

He smirks as he hands it to me, and I roll my eyes as I read it.  I could have saved myself a lot of drama if I had just looked down.

I toss it on the dresser and walk behind the changing screen in the room.  I pull off my clothes and put on my sleep attire.

When I walk out, he already has his shirt off, revealing every perfect inch of his upper body.  In this room, this far away from home, and this atmosphere, it’s hard to deny Lady Lust’s longing.

“It’s the Greyhorn air,” he says, jarring me out of my drooling state and confusing me a bit.

I tilt my head curiously upon hearing his seemingly random comment.  “What do you mean?”

He smirks.  “You feel free to do as you wish in a place like this, instead of what you would normally do.  In the old days, they referred to this place as Vegas.  I’ve only ever read about it, but apparently it was the same back then.”

I flush instantly.  Fuck my life.  He can tell how badly I want him right now.  Shit!

“Um… I… I swear I will force myself to stay on my side of the bed.”

He half smiles.  “That’s what you always say, yet somehow I wake up with you tangled around me.”

I blush again as I fumble around with the covers and slip into the bed.

“I promise I don’t mean to.  It just happens.”

Quickly, I get as close to the edge as I can.  He smiles as he climbs in as well.  His voice is soft and oh so seductive.

“If I minded, I wouldn’t be getting in bed right now.”

I fight the urge to smile, and I cover my mouth with the blankets when I realize I’m unable succeed.  He doesn’t hide his smile as he gets closer, his finger suddenly trailing down the bare skin of my arm.

“We can always pretend this didn’t happen – one night in Greyhorn without any strings attached.  I think it would be cathartic for both of us, considering the upcoming competition.”

Holy fucking shit.  What am I supposed to say to that?  I can’t do this.  I’m barely staying away as it is.

“We can’t.  With our history… there would be strings.”

He smirks slightly as he lies over on his back.  “I said no strings and I mean it.  I would never even mention it to you.  We could pretend it didn’t happen while enjoying the release I think we both need.”

Fuck.  I want him so badly right now, and he knows it too.  He’s purposely revealing every perfect line of his defined chest and abs.  He’s taunting me with my weakness.  His eyes stare at the ceiling, but his smirk remains in place.

“I can’t.  It’s too… I just can’t.”

His smirk fades and he blows out the candle beside his bed.

“Okay.  Just a suggestion.”

I’m lying here, drowning in my desire.  Unbelievable.  Why did he have to put that on the table?  Why does he have to be so sexy?  Why did I have to put myself in this position?

Don’t even think about it!

Fuck thinking.  One night without strings?  Is that possible?  Can we pretend it never happened?

I throw myself on top of him and my lips startle his.  His arms grip me tightly around my waist as he pulls me closer to him, grinding our hips together.  I can feel the world around me spinning out of control.

I pull back from the intoxicating kiss and question his words.  “No strings?”

His eyes are glued to mine in the moonlit room.  They hold every bit of desire mine do.

“No strings.  One night together, and we don’t ever have to talk about it again.”

My lips press against his with a savage need.  He flips me to be beneath him, and his hands pin mine behind my head as he trails his kisses down my neck.  My body throbs in response to his wicked touch.

I need him, and this is just going to shift everything.  Why am I doing this?  It’s been hard enough to hold onto my anger as it is.

His lips find mine again and my inner turmoil is silenced.  The shirt I’m wearing is ripped free from my body.  The sound of the tearing fabric sends a wave of exciting chills up and down me.  I’m filled with the fire I’ve been fighting against, and Lady Lust is savoring every moment.

This isn’t like the times before.  This is Kace taking me in a town where we can be two strangers for one night.  He crudely rips my shorts free from my body, and I hear a slap as his pants hit the floor.  I can feel the heat from his body infecting mine with fever.

I tug gently on his bottom lip with my teeth, and the depth of our kiss surges to a new level.  I can feel every bit of tension between us slowly dissipating.

His hands are firm as they caress my body and grip me tighter.  I’m suddenly eye to eye with him as the glow of the room is the only thing reminding us who we really are.

His eyes soften momentarily and then the animal comes back.  I push him onto his back, and he smirks beneath me.  My mouth trails the perfect lines of his glorious body, and he squirms from the sensation.  My tongue slowly slides back up to his mouth, and he almost inhales me.

He flips me over once more and my world feels complete again as he reminds me what we’re so good at.  The sweat is dripping, our hearts are pounding, and our desperate needs are unveiling themselves.  His body melds to mine and we’re suddenly one person again.

My head pops back as he controls my body, and I taste the air of release slipping into my grasp.  Our hips thrash together, and then his hands find their way into my hair momentarily before sliding down to my hips to aide in the rhythm, jerking me up to meet his thrusts.

My nails slide up his back as my legs tighten around him, keeping him closer longer.  His hot breaths find their way into my mouth as his lips return, and I willingly invite his tongue to play with mine.

I feel myself unraveling around him as the folds of heaven fall freely over me.  I fight the urge to scream out in ecstasy, but to no avail.

My over-the-top wails are his undoing, and he falls to my side.  Our lips collide in a softer kiss, one that forces a smile to tug at my lips.

The tension is subdued, the release is surreal, and now things are completely fucked up.  Damn it.

He pulls me to his chest, and I know he wants to say something.  So much intimacy has just been exerted, leaving unresolved emotions stirred.  I feel it too, but we can’t.  He promised me no strings.  I speak with breathlessness while trying to lighten the heavy air.

“Well… that was indeed… cathartic.”

He laughs loudly and kisses my head.  “Indeed.”

I try to remember this moment is over.  Let him go.  Let him go.

I can’t let him go.  My arms are wrapped around his body, and my leg is draped over him as well.  His fingers trace imaginary lines over my back.  I laugh a little.

“It looks as though we’ve switched sides of the bed.”

He chuckles as his eyes shift around the room.  “I see that.”

He’s giving me nothing right now.  It’s as though he’s intentionally trying to avoid conversation.  I need to know this is over as of tonight.  One night… just like he promised.

He kisses me again and his arms pull me into him.  “You can relax.  I promised one night, and that’s what I meant.  Tomorrow… you can go back to hating me.”

My heart nearly breaks.  “I don’t hate you.  I never have.”

He releases me slowly and moves to put his pants back on.  He climbs back into bed and turns his back to me.

“Goodnight, Arena.”

He thinks I hate him?  No.  I don’t hate him.  I don’t hate him at all.  What have I done to him?

I put my arms around his waist and kiss his back.  He turns to meet my eyes.

“What are you doing?”

His eyes are soft and confused by my misleading signals.  I’m just as confused as he is though.

“I don’t hate you.  I’m just not ready to be what we were.  It’s too-”

He kisses my lips and embraces me.  His strong arms wrap around me and the warmth consumes me.

“I said one night, Arena.  I’m not trying to push you into anything.  Don’t worry.”

“Our one night isn’t over already, is it?”

He laughs under his breath as he kisses me again.

“I don’t suppose it has to be.”

Our bodies intertwine as the passion erupts once more.  Everything is softer.  Each touch laced with emotions I’m not ready to face.  A tear escapes as he kisses me with such tenderness.  I’m lost again, and I’m worried I’ll never find my way out this time.

CHAPTER 24

A TOAST TO THE CHAMPIONS

I wake up the next morning in the same compromising position I have so many times before.  My legs are wrapped around him, and my body is pressed tightly against his.

I smirk as memories from the night before invade my mind.  Mmm… oh hell.  Why did I do that?  Now it’s going to be torture to be around him.

I start trying to unravel my body in his arms, but he wakes up before I can wriggle free.  He laughs slightly.

“Well, I guess you broke your promise again.”

He isn’t even acknowledging our sexcursion.  Did I dream it?  No.  I can feel the generous release still flowing through me.  It happened.  He’s just keeping his promise.  Why do I feel disappointed by that?  This is what I wanted him to do.

He speaks softly to break the awkward silence.

“The games begin tomorrow.  I had better go wake the others for training.  I’ll see you in a bit.”

I wave as he walks out, and then I bury my head in my hands once the door shuts.  Why can’t I just get over him?  My life was so much easier before boys and sex – well a boy, not boys.

Helena walks in with a devious grin.

“I came in last night to see you and Kace curled up like you were one person.  I just left.  So?” she prompts, her greedy eyes begging for all the dirty details.

Fuck.  I’m glad she didn’t walk in on what I walked in on.  That would have been… bad.

Act casual.  Kace said no one had to know.  Act like it didn’t happen.

“So what?  Nothing happened.  He was locked out of his room because you and Harrison were…sleeping, which by the way, doesn’t actually mean sleeping.”

She covers her face to hide her mortified look.

“Oh no!  You guys saw us?”

Ha!  Diversion accomplished.  Good girl.

“Oh yes.  We saw.  I am scarred for life, thanks for asking.”

She throws herself on the bed and covers her head with a pillow as I continue.

“Anyway, I let him sleep in here so we could actually sleep.  For some reason, I can’t stay on my side of the bed when I sleep.”

She’s more concentrated on the fact she and Harrison were seen as opposed to mine and Kace’s sleeping arrangement.  That’s fine by me.

“I’m so mortified.  What did Kace say?”

“He said you were sleeping,” I say while laughing.

She laughs harder and covers her face with a pillow again.  I start getting ready and stare into the mirror with absolute heartbreak.

It really was just one night.  He’s already put it behind him.  Why can’t I?

The training session had been a little lighter than I expected.  Malfus didn’t want us exerting too much energy.  We had mostly just gone through the motions.  Kace was a little embarrassed by the fact Helena knew he saw her and Harrison together.

Harrison found it absolutely hilarious.  He wanted details, which only humiliated Kace and me that much more.

We’re all on our way to meet up at one of the dining areas now.  Julius has been slaving away to roast a pig.  Kendall and my mother have been cooking other sides to go along with it.

I walk up in the simple pale pink dress I brought.  It’s very thin, and the satin clings to my body, revealing every slight curve.  It’s floor length with a slit up the side.

Of course, Abigail made it for me.

Kace smiles as I walk in, and my heart flutters under his gaze.  He walks over and hands me a glass of wine.

“You look incredible tonight.”

“Well, your mother keeps bringing me dresses.”

“She doesn’t do that for just anyone.  She really does like you.”

I just speak quietly as Malfus taps the side of his glass.  “I like her too.”

Malfus speaks very loudly as he addresses the whole group.

“This is a night I call a toast to the champions.  We will go around the table until each warrior has been toasted by all of the other warriors.  I find this to be a very bonding and time honored tradition.  Then we will feast.”

Everyone sits down, and Kace acquires the seat beside me.  Harrison stands up to make the first toast.  He toasts Helena, of course.  It’s sweet as he tells everyone how she gives him the will to fight.

Then it circles around with each person toasting.  Helena toasts Harrison.  Then Johnny stands up and turns to me.  He smiles menacingly as he starts.

“I met Arena Clash when I was seven.  There was a group of guys that loved to pick on me daily.  One day, this skinny little girl walked up while I was being kicked around.  She threatened the boys, and they didn’t want to mess with the chief’s daughter.  This little girl walks up to me and says, ‘either you need to learn how to fight, or you need to get a friend who already knows how to.’  Then she stuck out her hand and said, ‘I’m Arena Clash, your new best friend.’  She’s just as pushy now as she was then.”  Everyone laughs as he pauses.  He smiles a little bigger and continues with his toast.

“A few days later, the same boys were picking on me.  She showed up again.  She didn’t threaten the boys this time though, she just started punching.  She took out four of them in less than five minutes.  I was amazed… and a little scared too.”  Everyone laughs again.  He chuckles a little before turning back to a serious tone.

“I never learned how to fight very well, and she’s been my best friend all these years.  I’m honored to be sharing this experience with her.”

I can feel tears bubbling up in my eyes.  He winks at me as he raises his glass.  Everyone clanks their glasses, and the toasts continue with me.

“Johnny Cabot was the most pathetic excuse for a boy I had ever seen.”  Everyone starts laughing, including Johnny.  “But, he was the best friend I could have ever asked for.

“When I lost my father, Johnny brought me every journal he could find that had stories of my dad in them.  He brought me sketches of my father he had drawn up himself.  I couldn’t have made it through such a tough time without him.  I’m so thankful I get to see him run tomorrow.  With the poor fighting skills he has been cursed with, he had to be good at running.”

Everyone laughs again.  I raise my glass to him, and he smiles at me.  I can feel our friendship mending, our differences turning to ashes to make way for a new chapter.

Julius stands up now.  “I met Kaceton Brice when I first came to the tribe.  I was fifteen and mad at the world.  I had just lost my mom, and my dad was still struggling to find his way without her.

“Kace talked Malfus into giving me a shot with the warriors.  He stood up for me when others laughed at my pathetic skills.  He encouraged me to work harder and be better.  It worked.  He helped me find my path, and he helped me find an outlet for my anger.  I would be in a really bad place right now if it hadn’t been for him.  He’s more than a best friend to me; he’s my brother.”

Everyone raises their glass, and Julius nods toward Kace while fighting back the glistening tears brimming his lids.

Kace clears his throat as he stands.  “I know Julius isn’t a part of the competition, but he deserves to be toasted as well.  He stepped between a guy and me last year and saved me from expulsion by sacrificing himself.  He’s always been a selfless and kindhearted person, despite what he wants everyone to think of him.  He’s never once been against me.  He has always been on my side no matter what the debate.  I couldn’t have asked for a better friend.”  He looks directly at Julius as he continues.  “You’re my brother too.”

My heart melts upon hearing Kace’s endearment to his best friend.  I keep forgetting the depth he has to him.

Julius tries to hide the tear he quickly wipes from his eye.  Then Helena takes her next turn to toast, relieving Julius of being an unexpected spectacle.

“Everyone knows how tough, fearless, and strong Arena is, but there is something most people don’t know about her.  She’s one of the most considerate people I’ve ever known.  I can remember a time when a boy teased me about the freckles I once had.  I came home crying that day.  Arena beat the boy to a pulp, obviously, and made him apologize.  Then she did something I hadn’t expected.

“I had read about princesses in some of the journals.  Arena took one of my dresses and sewed flowers all over it.  Then she took one of my mother’s veils and sewed it to the back to make a train.  Now, Arena cannot stitch to save her life, so it was indeed a hideous dress.”

Everyone bursts out laughing, including me.  Then she continues.

“It was so sweet though.  She spent hours threading a crown of flowers for me.  She set up a table with tea and had Johnny wait on me as if I really was a real princess.  I’d never felt so special in all my life.

“I had often been jealous of the time she and my father spent together, but I learned that day it was because they were so similar.  He had this uncanny ability to give you exactly what you needed when you needed it most.  I wasn’t jealous ever again after that.

“My father was a very selfless and caring man.  He would do anything to ensure the safety of his family and tribe.  Arena shares that amazing quality with him.  I’m so happy to see my sister be the first female all around contender.”

I fight back the tears even harder now.  Everyone claps, and I stand to toast my sister.

“I usually hated Helena for trying to turn me into a girl.”  Everyone chuckles slightly.  “She was constantly trying to put me in a dress or curl my hair.  She hated my tomboy ways.  There was one time I even woke up in a dress.  She had actually changed me in my sleep.  She had reached that point of desperation.”

Everyone laughs a little harder.  My tone turns more serious.

“I was also envious of Helena.  I was hotheaded and irrational most all the time.  I still am actually.  She was always calm and the voice of reason.  I would hit first and ask questions later.  She would listen.  I’ve always had the vicious ability to say something that would hurt someone the most.  Though I’ve gotten somewhat better, Helena has taken some nasty hits over the years.  She has always forgiven me every time.

“That’s something I’ve never been able to do very well; forgive.  It takes an incredibly strong person to forgive someone who has hurt them, and she does it so effortlessly.  She knows what to say and when to say it.  She empathizes with people, and she’s not afraid to trust anyone at all.  She’s more fearless than I’ll ever be, and she’s stronger than she has ever given herself credit for.

“She thinks my father favored me, but that’s not the truth at all.  Helena has always been so mature and wise beyond her years.  My father just knew I needed more guidance than she did.  Most likely, I’ll never achieve the level of wisdom or enlightenment she already has.  I’m very proud to say she’s my sister, and I’m glad we’re here together.”

Helena wipes the tears from her eyes, as she mouths “thank you.”

Kace stands and everyone turns their attention to him.  “The first time I met Arena, I helped her out of a bad situation.  I didn’t even get a thank you.  The second time I saw her, she bit me and pushed a blade to my throat.”

Everyone laughs ridiculously hard.  He smiles at me as he continues.

“The third time I saw her, she beat my two arrow record and then consented to dance with me.  Now, I can honestly say she’s different from any girl I’ve ever met.  She’s stubborn, pushy, demanding, and exhausting most of the time, but she’s also amazing, thoughtful, generous, and ambitious.  I’m fascinated by her on a daily basis.

“She was willing to risk whatever it took to make sure her family was provided for.  She has a heart that is far larger than she will admit.  I only hope she can see that one day.  I feel honored to be in her presence each time I see her.  I can’t imagine a better all around contender.”

I blush after hearing his praises, and my heart thuds wildly against my chest.  I want so badly to kiss him right now.  I’m wishing our one night had an extension plan.

I stand to speak lightheartedly.

“He’s right.  I did run off without thanking him, and I did threaten his life… a little.”  Everyone starts laughing again.  I sigh as I continue.

“I was scared of him.”  Suddenly it’s quieter than a graveyard.  His eyes show confusion and a flicker of pain.  I speak with more honesty than I ever have before.

“I wasn’t scared because I thought he would hurt me.  I was scared because I knew he wouldn’t.  I had a very vivid idea of how the world worked.  I had these perfect little walls that sectioned off everything in my mind.  I was afraid if I let myself trust him, all of those walls would fall down, and there would be chaos.

“I did trust him, and the walls did fall down, but nothing too bad happened.  In fact, a lot of good came out of it.  I spent so many years full of rage.  When I met him, that rage subsided.  My eyes were opened to the truth, and my world changed.  My clan’s starvation problem was remedied.  My mother found happiness, which is something she lacked for years.  I found a whole new place in life.  I can say the majority of that credit goes to him.  I’m very happy to know I can stand beside him in competition.”

The toasts continue with a lighter and more playful tone.  Kace wraps his arm around the back of my chair as he speaks quietly.

“Thank you for that.”

“Thank you for yours.”

We stare at each other, trapped in our trance as Helena starts to sing.  The strumming of a guitar aides her in her melody of love and war she had read about in a journal.  Everyone is captivated by her amazing voice.

Kace leans over to whisper, “Do you sing?”

I let a small laugh escape.  “No.  I’ve never been good at it.  I can peel bark off the trees with my voice.”

He pulls back with a slight smile.  “I doubt that.  I haven’t seen anything you’re not good at yet.”

“You should see my sewing.  It really is quite pathetic.”

He laughs hard and withdraws from his close proximity to me.

Julius walks over to me as I go to get more wine.  His eyes seem slightly burdened.  I nudge him playfully as I speak.

“I thought I saw a tear earlier.”

He shakes his head and chuckles slightly.

“Kace caught me off guard.  I didn’t think he would toast me back since I’m not in the competition.”

“He really cares about you.”

Julius nods.  “He was right about something.  I’ve always been on his side, and I’ve always had his back.  I like you, Arena, but you have to stop torturing him.  I don’t mean to sound harsh, but you either need to let him go or love him.”

I look down shamefully.  “I’ve been trying to let him go, honestly I have.  I don’t know why it has been so hard to do.  It’s like I can’t stay away from him.”

He purses his lips as he speaks with a softer tone.

“Then you need to find a way to love him.”

He pats my shoulder and walks away.  He’s right.  I can’t keep doing this to either of us.  I’m just going to have to force myself to let him go.

I do my best not to engage in eye contact with Kace for the rest of the night.  Everyone listens to Helena sing for a while before we all head back to the rooms.

Kace props against the door frame as I walk into my room.

“I’ll see you bright and early.”

I just nod as Helena walks in.  My eyes stay locked with his until the door shuts.  I have to do this, and I’m proud of myself from not giving into temptation.

I jot down my daily events in my journal as Helena does the same right beside me.  It feels just like it did when we were younger and logging our lives side by side.

Kace has somehow made his way onto every page in my journal.  It’s a bit irritating, but I’m really glad I suck at art.  Otherwise, I’d have sketches of him all over the place, and that would truly be torture.

Helena turns to knock me free from my lost-world frame of mind.

“Hey, will you please go get my bag from the boys’ room?  I must have forgotten it in there, and if I go in there, I won’t be coming back any time soon.”

I roll my eyes.  Shit!  Now I have to see him again.

“Yeah.  I’ll get it,” I say, trying to not to sound rattled by the request.

I reluctantly tiptoe down the hall, and I almost pray no one answers.  I knock on the door, and it almost swings open before the sound has time to resonate.

Kace is standing in front of me with desire filling his eyes.  Hope is pouring out freely and he takes a step closer.  His shirt has already been removed, and I’m stuck staring at the perfect lines of his body.

“Is everything okay?”

I swallow hard.  Hell no it’s not okay.  This is torture.

“Yeah.  I just need Helena’s bag.  She was worried she wouldn’t leave if she came.”

He smirks slightly and walks over to the corner to get her bag.  My eyes search the room to keep from staring at him.  Harrison is completely wasted and lying face first on the bed.  I snicker slightly, and then my eyes catch something else.

The figurine of my face is sitting on the table beside the vacant bed – Kace’s bed.  He brought it with him.  That’s why it wasn’t in his cabin.  It was already packed.

Tears try to surface, but I fight like hell to keep them at bay.

How can I let go when he won’t let me?  I quickly pull my eyes away from the figurine as he brings the bag to me.

I take the bag, and our hands touch, sparking Lady Lust’s carnal desires.  I fight the fire surging within me.  He looks over to Harrison to make sure he’s not listening in and then back to me.

“It’s the Greyhorn air.  You’ll be fine once you’re back in your room.”

He can see my desire again.  His confident, smooth tone sends the most delicious chills all throughout me.  I lean forward and he meets me halfway.

Our lips collide again, and suddenly I’m against the wall in the hallway.  One hand pulls my head to the kiss and one hand pulls my body against his.  I’m very seriously considering making this happen on the floor of the hallway – or the wall could work too.

My body throbs against his, begging to be devoured.  The wall behind me doesn’t budge, and his body only gets closer, pinning me.  My legs are suddenly wrapped around his waist as he hoists me into the air, and a thud emerges when my back hits the wall again.

A voice jars us out of our scandalous moment.

“You two can borrow my room if you need a minute.”

My feet slap the floor and we quickly drop our hands to our sides as we turn to stare at Julius.  His eyes are showing excitement and approval.  Kace laughs a little as he rubs the back of his neck.

I step behind him and try to pick up the bag of clothes while I hunt for my dignity.

I can hear the embarrassment in Kace’s tone.

“Greyhorn.  You know?”

Julius smirks as I lean against Kace’s back.

“Yeah.  I know,” Julius says with a hint of teasing.

Then Malfus rounds the corner and our eyes grow wide.  Oh, I’m glad Julius saw that instead of Malfus.  This awkward moment would have been much more unbearable.

“You guys need to get to sleep.  We have a busy day tomorrow.”

Julius laughs and Kace walks me back to my room.  He fights hard to stifle a smile, but it’s pointless.  It spreads across his face within seconds.  I roll my eyes as I still bumble around to collect myself.

“Sorry.  I really did come for the bag.”

He laughs a little.  “Sure you did.”

I can feel the red stinging my cheeks as I fight uselessly against my own smile.  He leans over and kisses my head. 

“Goodnight, Arena.”

“Goodnight.”  Oh good night.

CHAPTER 25

FIGHT LIKE A GIRL

Mom comes by to speak to us as we’re walking out.  I’ve barely spoken to her the entire trip.  Considering our last in depth conversation, I’ve kept what small bits of conversation we have had very light and disengaging.

“My girls are warriors.  Your father would be very proud and surprised to see all you have already accomplished.  I’m so proud of the both of you.”

We hug her as the others join us.  Kace has on a shirt that’s barely buttoned, making drool form in the corners of my mouth.  He smiles as he speaks in his smoldering tone.

“Let’s show them what we’ve got.”

And right on cue, my traitorous, weak knees get wobbly.  Crap!

We arrive at the coliseum, and its enormity is unprecedented - stealing a bit of my confidence with its intimidating depth.  It stretches for hundreds of yards and towers over us with its awe worthy size.

We walk in to see the massive arena in the center - well, I stagger in.  There are rows of seats that stretch all the way to the top.  I shiver when I see how many people will actually be viewing us.  I pray not all those seats fill up.

A small girl runs up to me, her soft, white-blond curls bouncing as she does.  She can’t be more than nine.

“My mother said you would get me in to watch the fights today,” she giddily releases with her enthusiastic, adorable little voice.

“I was wondering where I’d find you.”

She smiles a little bigger.  “Well, I know how to get in – it’s getting kicked out that causes me problems.”

I laugh and her candor, now seeing the mischievousness cleverly hiding in her crisp blue eyes.

“I’m Arena Clash.”

She smiles so large I’m worried her face is going to split, as her eyes flash with delight.

“Oh, I know who you are.  I have been dying to see you compete.”

Great.  No pressure.

Kace walks up to interrupt our conversation, his tone as serious as his no-nonsense stare.

“We need to go get changed.  The competitor’s box is below.  There’s a room behind them for changing.”

With a menacing grin and ogling eyes, the little girl watches him walk away.

“He’s super cute.  I’ve been watching him for the past couple of years.  It’s so cool I’m going to get to see him up close.”

I laugh a little at her while motioning for her to join me at my side.  She follows me to the competitor’s box, which is a little less intimidating and a little more… intimate.

It’s a receded area level with the arena floor.  It has a waist-high dividing wall that wraps around the front.  I hop over and stand under the overhang while inspecting our holding area.  It reminds me of the baseball dugout sketches I’ve seen in journals.

The girl finally introduces herself, almost as if she grew tired of waiting for me to ask.

“I’m SaShante.  I want to be a warrior one day too.”

I remember the days when I had such excitement.  I would watch my father sparring for hours on end.  The bow had been a place of refuge for me.  Now I enjoyed the physical release more – in more ways than one it seems.

I blush slightly as I try to shake the Greyhorn one night and accidental make-out session from my mind.

Helena and I enter the changing room to meet Mom’s devilish smirk.  She’s holding the packages that I can only assume conceal our mysterious uniforms that have had Helena rather apprehensive.

Helena laughs.  “I’m almost too scared to look.  The boys have been far too excited to see us in these.”

“It can’t be any worse than some of the dresses Abigail has put me in,” I mutter dully while offering a casual, unaffected shrug.

She laughs slightly, though a nervousness burdens it.  She opens her package and my eyes grow wide in disbelief as they fall on the outfit I had not even come close to expecting.  I can hear the shock in my tone as we both gasp in unison.

“I suppose I could be wrong.”

Helena’s breaths stop all together as silence escapes through her gaping mouth and her eyes examine the skimpy uniform.  Mom laughs at both of us, acting like the devil relishing this moment.

“You have to wear your hair down.  It’s part of the rules to keep the women feminized.  I’m going to pull back part of your hair so it won’t be in your face.  It will have to hang long in the back though to comply with dress code.”

Helena puts on the uniform and I stand back in complete disbelief, every bit of me regretting this decision now.

The small corset-like top barely covers her bosom.  Her stomach is covered for the most part, but it does show her hipbones peeking out above the low rising skirt.  The short skirt rises to her backside and a small pair of shorts are hidden underneath to offer her some modesty - all of it leather and all of it far too showy.

Helena shakes her head.  “I’ve never in all my life worn something so skimpy.”

I hold my hands up in dismay, completely flabbergasted by the completely unpractical wardrobe.

“How am I going to fight in a skirt and a corset?”

Mom smiles.  “You’re not.  All around women have different uniforms.  Since you’re the first, Abigail had to work really hard to follow the guidelines without a pattern.”

“Thank God,” I murmur in relief.

My moment of reprieve is quickly stolen when I see her face washing over with more menace.  She’s stifling a laugh as I unwrap my package.

“Oh my damn!  This can’t be right.”

Helena bursts out laughing, slapping her knees as she doubles forward.  “Well, I don’t suppose mine is as skimpy as I thought it was.”

I pull out the top, which is only designed to cover my breasts and nothing else.  The wide bands clasp around my neck and back, leaving all else bare.  Holy shit!

The brown leather is soft but there’s not enough of it.  The top cuts down to expose my cleavage completely - barely covering the essentials.

I pull on the brown leather pants to see that they’re very low – almost too low - and they hug my hips with a form-fitted, hide-no-secrets sort of snugness.  My hipbones stick out completely above the rim, and I’m worried something is going in the back if I bend over.

The tops of the legs fit snugly, but do offer flexibility, while the bottom of the pants flares just slightly.

Oh good grief.  I feel like I’ve lost a horrible bet.

Mom explains, “The sparring event requires pants but an exposed abdomen.  This is within the guidelines.”

“The guidelines suck.”

They both roar out their laughter.  I don’t know how I know, but back home, Abigail is laughing her ass off too.

Helena and I reluctantly walk back into the box, dreading the reaction we’ll receive.  The heads of the boys snap to attention the moment we warily open the door.

Julius’s eyes almost pop free from their sockets as he staggers and falls backwards over the short wall.  He jumps back to his feet and dusts himself off, trying to recover from his obvious slip.  I sigh as they all gawk at us, carrying no reservations about how foolish they look right now.

I point at them as I threaten, “One word and I swear I will rip your heads off.”

They all burst out laughing, casually dismissing my empty threat.  Kace leans against the wall, and I walk over to join him while praying the red in my cheeks subsides before my first fight.

He stares at me like I’ve stared at him so many times, making my red hue deepen instead of lessen.  He tries not to smile as I prop up beside of him.  I catch his eyes, and the smile he was trying to restrain finally spreads across his face.  I shove him playfully.

“Don’t laugh.  Someone could have warned me.”

He shrugs innocently and then the humorous stare turns into a smoldering gaze.  Oh damn.  This is bad.

After last night I don’t trust myself around him at all.

My mother walks over with a leather band, and I’m grateful for the interruption.  She ties it around my head to secure my hair into place, per the ridiculous guidelines.

“That should keep it from falling,” she says before giving me a devious wink and walking away.

Kace pulls out the leather strips from my bag and holds them up with a quizzical brow as he silently questions my missing attire.

I shrug.  “I couldn’t figure them out.”

Barely smiling, he pulls my hand into his as he starts wrapping my hands.  His breath is heavy, and my heart is fluttering from his touch.  It’s all I can do to not try to steal another night in Greyhorn.  His eyes catch mine as he fastens the second one.

He smirks and shakes his head.  “Greyhorn air.  You need to focus.  I have to go get changed.”

I finally release my breath as he walks away, leaving my eyes to follow him without his knowledge.

This can’t be healthy.  It’s a damn good thing we don’t live in Greyhorn.

“You’re the luckiest girl I’ve ever seen,” SaShante says, breaking me free from my hypnosis.

“Being a female all around is definitely an accomplishment,” I shakily reply while moving my eyes to meet hers.

She laughs.  “Yeah, and having Kaceton Brice be in love with you is pretty cool too.  It’s pretty obvious how much he wants you.”

I laugh at her.  She’s so young, but she talks like an adult.

“You’re far too young to be noticing such things.”

She smiles menacingly at me.  “You’re far too old not to be.”

I tilt my head at her with surprise, but I decide not to engage in this conversation with such a youngster despite the fact she’s acting far too old for her age.  Julius laughs as he walks over.

“Who is this?”

SaShante turns to answer him with a huge smile.

“I’m SaShante Wells.  I’m going to be an all around one day, just like Arena.  Now I know it’s possible, and I’m going to work extra hard to do it.”

I smile at her admiration for me.  It feels good to know I’m inspiring someone just as my father inspired me.  At the same time, the mounting pressure her adorable blue eyes are putting on me is making my palms sweat.

Julius shrugs as he playfully pouts.  “You’ve been here five minutes, you haven’t even stepped into the arena yet, and already you have a fan club?  What gives?”

I laugh at his exaggerated mock envy.  I walk over to the arena with Helena as we test the dirt beneath our feet.  I want to check the grip and the slide - study the way it reacts to each movement.

The door opens as the boys walk out.  Harrison beats his chest like an ape would do while grunting and puffing as well.  Helena laughs as he comes over and whirls her around, pulling her close to his body before their lips collide.

They’re wearing brown leather pants, and their chests are completely bare.  Kace walks out last, and he looks so unbelievably tempting.

Oh my damn.  I’m screwed.

My eyes are glued to his perfect body, unwilling to pry themselves away.  He seems pleased by my obvious gawking as he smiles at me.

“I checked the schedule, and you’re the first one to go today.  You’ll be sparring with one of the Heshlan members.  The name isn’t posted yet though.  They usually wait until the last moment if they’re given an option.  They like to keep the element of surprise.  Since you’re a newcomer, they’re forcing you to go first.”

I feel a little put off by that.  I’d been expecting to be able to watch some of the other competitors for a while and get a feel for the way the ground reacts to the fights.  I need the advantage.

“Why are they making me go in the very first fight?  I’m sure I can’t be the only newcomer.”

Julius walks up with a smile.  “Because they’re dying to see the female all around.”

I scowl as I grab a brown hooded robe hanging on the side.  I throw it over me and over my head while growling under my breath.  Kace tilts his head as he catches my arm.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to clear my head.  I wasn’t prepared to go first.  I just need a minute to myself.”

Reluctantly, he accepts my response and releases me.  I make my way up the steps, well some of them. I stop on the level that is directly in the middle and watch as they cover the center of the arena with a massive canvas that ties to the edges.

The robe does well to hide my bareness and my identity.  I lean against a pole as people swish past me to acquire seats.  They’re probably dying to see me get creamed.

Bastards.

A voice distracts me, forcing me to crane my neck around to find where it’s coming from.

“Well, I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you before.”

I realize that my hood has fallen off as I turn to greet the face of the unknown voice.

“This is the first time I’ve been here since I was a child,” I say dispassionately, not leaving an opening for more conversation to spark.

His blond hair brushes his brow in a soft flow.  His golden eyes are trying their best to tempt me, but I’m not in the market to be anyone else’s prey.  Everything I have belongs to Kace whether I like it or not.

He tries to sound sexy, and does fairly well in succeeding.  “I’d be glad to show you the inside of the competitor’s box.”

I snicker to myself.  This poor boy has no clue.  It’s cute though.  I’m just the wrong game, and he’s the wrong predator.

“I bet you would.”

His eyes rise in surprise for my seemingly bold comment - one a submissive breeder shouldn’t allow to slip free.  I’m not a breeder though.

“It seems as though you’re accustomed to men trying to impress you.  I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.  I’m Kingston.”

I stick my hand out to shake his.  “It’s nice to meet you, Kingston.”

He tilts his head.  “No name?”

I smirk.  “Not yet.”

His eyes spark with a bit of excitement for what he feels is a dare to chase.  “I’m intrigued.  You’re very bewitching, but I suppose you know that too.”

I shrug playfully, feigning vanity.  He laughs slightly as he continues.

“I wouldn’t mind you cheering for me today.”

“I’ve already got a tribe in mind.”

He smirks again.  “Do you think you could elaborate?  Or are you trying to keep me spellbound by your mystery?”

“I’m not mysterious.  No need to be spellbound.”

He leans back.  “I don’t suppose you came to see the female all around?”

Involuntarily, a smile spreads over my face for the secret I’m thoroughly enjoying keeping at this moment.

“As a matter of fact, she’s the only reason I’m here.”

He frowns as if I’ve just soured his day.

“I hope you’re not into girls.  That would just be heartbreaking.”

I laugh hard as I try to compose myself.  “I just like this one girl.  We have a lot in common.  I’m really hoping she makes fools out of the boys today.”

He grabs his heart in mock pain.  “I hope you find a soft spot for me today.”

“I might root for her to show you mercy if the two of you face off.”

He lets a chuckle free, and I decide to capitalize on the momentary gap in conversation.  Deciding I should get back before he lays it on too thick, I start to walk away, but he tugs at my hand.

“Please give me your name.  I need a name to go with the beauty who turned me down.”

Just put him out of his misery.

“Arena Clash,” I murmur with a condescending grip slipping free.

His eyes widen, and then he shakes his head to show his humbled moment of humiliation.  A smile emerges, showing he's a good sport.

“So, you’re the female all around.  And you let me bumble around like a fool?”

I laugh a little at his embarrassment while offering a casual shrug.  “Yeah… pretty much.  It was fun though.”

His smile fades slightly, as if he’s just realized something that has dampened his spirits.  “So, if you’re Arena, then you’re here with the Shaylan and-”

His sentence tapers off and I feel the heat behind me.  I know that presence better than I know my own.

Kace’s voice is steady and low.  I do my best not to turn to see him.  His body is pressed up against the back of mine, almost possessively, and I’m worried he’s about to hike his leg and piss on me in order to mark his damn territory.

“Kingston,” Kace says with a chilled tone.

Kingston seems pissed now, his jaw clenching to the point the muscle visibly flexes.  Just moments ago, he was lively and flirtatious.  Kace is obviously upset by the interaction.

I shiver as their icy glares blister me with their frost.  The obvious hatred they have for one another piques my curiosity.  I’ve never seen Kace act like this with anyone, not even Frank.

What the hell is going on here?

“Kaceton.  I was just getting to know the other all around for your tribe.”

Kingston’s eyes flicker with their flirty spark as he winks at me, but now I don’t feel like joining the playfulness.  Kace obviously has issues with him.

Despite our grievances, I owe it to him to show some degree of loyalty.  We’re both Shaylan, and Kingston is a stranger I have no attachments to.

I’m worried this is going to turn into more than a death-glaring staring match.  Kace’s knuckles are turning white from tight grip his fists are in at his side.

In an effort to squash the nonsense, I turn to put my arms around Kace, and his eyes widen in surprise.  Kingston glowers at Kace now.

“So, she’s with you?  That figures.”

Kace doesn’t confirm nor deny as he returns my embrace, silently answering him with a tiny lie.  While perching up on my tiptoes, I pull his lips to meet mine, startling him with my unexpected action.

The kiss gets carried away, forcing my core to heat up as he pulls me in tighter.  With heavy reluctance, I finally push back to see Kingston has vanished.

Kace’s bemusement bears no mask as he studies me intently.  “Why’d you do that?”

“Because it was obvious you two have issues.  I could tell you didn’t want him to know we weren’t together, and you did the same for me with Mary.  Sort of.”

He smiles a little.  “I guess you really don’t hate me.”

Ouch.  Am I that cold?

“I told you I didn’t.  I bite.  I don’t lie,” I reply a little too flirtatiously.

He smirks a little as he points to the fresh wounds on his shoulder, faded only slightly.

“Yes.  You do bite.”

Oh shit.  I haven’t even noticed them.

I blush instantly and he kisses my head softly.

“Thank you.”

End this conversation.  End this conversation.

“Are there always so many people?”  Everyone seems to be packed in so tightly they’re almost on top of each other now.

“It’s always crazy in Greyhorn,” he says with sizzling innuendo.

I laugh a little at the underlying content of that statement.  He takes my hand and pulls me back down to the arena as they draw back the curtains… so to speak.

The tarp-like drape slips free, revealing the jammed out competitors’ boxes now full of foaming-at-the-mouth competition.

As we rejoin our group, Kace steps away and drops my hand to go speak with Harrison.  I try not to watch him, but I’m learning I have no control of my body anymore when it comes to him.

After a few minutes, a large man walks to the center of the arena grounds.  He holds a cone-like object out in front of him to carry his voice around the huge enclosure.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we have a treat for you today.  The games are about to begin.  Sparring is the first event is the contender you’ve all been waiting to see - the first female all around… Arena Clash!”

Kace nudges me, and I climb over the wall, trying not to trip in my trembling state of nerves.  I instantly hear men laughing all around.

The girls cheer wildly, releasing their votes of confidence.  I can hear some of the men behind me speaking loudly.

“That’s the girl?  I was expecting her to be a little less pretty and a bit more butch.  She’ll be done in the first round.”

I try to brush off their discouraging comments.  I walk back over to the box and stand in front of the wall as the announcer introduces my opponent.

“And for the Heshlan tribe, give it up for… Brutus Max!”

Cheers erupt from some sections, and boos boom out as well.  Then I hear Kace panicking.

“Brutus?  She’s facing Brutus?  They’re trying to squash her out of this competition!”

Seriously?

I turn to scowl at him.  “Not helping my confidence any over here.  I can still hear you.”

Kace turns to me with dread, regret, and fear etched in his face.

“This is a bad idea.  Brutus is a beast.”

I turn in time to see the hulking man walking out with his arms stretched up to the stands.  Fear spreads through me now.

No wonder Kace is flipping the fuck out.

I'm not a third of his size - I’m barely a fifth.  He’s wider than I am tall, and he has muscles forming on top of muscles.  I’m looking around for the damn beanstalk this monster fell out of.

I lean over to Julius, doing my best not to sound as rattled as I am.  “Please tell me you see a weakness I can exploit, because I’ve got nothing.”

His bulking nether region leads me to believe he’s wearing a metal cup.  So much for that idea.  It would take me a year of pounding with all my strength against him before he even felt something through all that muscle.

Julius shakes his head, and he sounds more worried than I’ve ever heard him.

“He most always makes it to the finals.  He’s solid muscle.  You won’t have much effect on him.  His size makes it nearly impossible to force him to the ground.  You have to knock him to the ground to win a point.  You have to get three points to win the match.  If you pin him, you can win the match instantly, but I don’t know if you can even budge him.  He usually only loses after several fights have worn him down.  His only weakness is his lack of stamina, but he’s completely fresh right now.  He shreds through the first rounds every year.”

I roll my eyes.  “Really?  You absolutely suck at giving a pep talk, coach.”

Everyone in my box is discussing my inevitable demise.  I swear they’re the most morbid cheerleaders in all of history.  I huff in aggravation for the lack of confidence I now have as I walk out to the center.

Brutus skulks around me, laughing as he sizes me up.  As we circle each other, he seems to favor his right knee.  I look toward the box, and Julius points to his knee.  He notices it too.

Thank goodness.  Goliath isn’t invincible after all.

The bell rings, and the brute charges me like a rampaging bull.  I roll out of his way, and kick his right knee with all my strength.  He goes down, and I’m worried an earthquake might erupt from his impact.

He grabs his knee and rolls around in pain for a moment, giving me a minute to catch my breath against my heated adrenaline rush.

The announcer holds up a red flag to indicate I’ve just received a point.  The stands are stunned into silence now.  I let out a hard breath of relief.  Much to my dismay, he slowly stands back up, his anger only fueled by my pointed attack.

He glares at me as he charges again, vengeance stirring in his eyes.  I try to dodge him, but he catches me this time.  He grabs me and holds me straight over his head by my neck and waist.  The crowd gasps as he starts to slam me into his knee.  I know the impact will most certainly break my back.

I can see Julius and some of the others holding Kace back as he screams my name.  He’s trying his best to free himself, which would disqualify us completely.

I’ve come too far to lose on my first event.  I pop Brutus’s elbow just before he succeeds in his breaking attempt, and he loses his grip, dropping me as he grips his now throbbing area.

I grab his neck with my legs on the way down and jerk him to the ground with his neck still clasped between my thighs.  The brawny man gasps for air, struggling to free himself from my merciless, relentless grip.

With the bad angle and his elbow possibly dislocated, he doesn’t have the strength he needs to pry himself loose.  Considering the bulk of my strength is in my legs, I only tighten my grip, cutting off his air supply all the more - praying this ruthless beast passes out before he has the chance to retaliate.

He wheezes and struggles uselessly until he finally taps the ground in surrender.

The announcer’s mouth is gaping open in disbelief.  The entire crowd is silent.  Finally, the announcer stammers around on the cone, displaying his extreme shock.  It almost sounds like a question, rather than a statement.

“Arena … Clash… is the winner?”

The thunderous cheers erupt throughout the stadium now.  Everyone jumps to their feet while clapping and screaming.  I look over to see everyone in my box about to have a heart attack from the excitement.

My mother is fanning herself while Malfus helps her to a seat.  Julius is sweating profusely while covering his heart with his hand.  Kace has his head buried in his hands, his whole body ashen and drained.  Helena’s face is buried in Harrison’s chest, proving she just missed the epic finale in my debut round.

The announcer speaks to the crowd of my feat as Brutus walks up to me.  His low, rumbling tone is as intimidating as his unbelievably huge size.

“I was going to break your back, you know.”

I nod with a twinge of dread for what might have been.

“I know.”

Shame fills his eyes as he continues.  “If I had broken your back, you would’ve been out of the competition.  You could’ve snapped my neck back there.  No one would have known it was intentional.”

“I would’ve known.  I wasn’t taught to fight like that.”

He laughs slightly, though even his rough, throaty laughter scares the living bejeezus out of me.  “With skills like that, I have to know who taught you.”

“My father, Justice Clash,” I say proudly.

Now the hulking man doesn’t seem so intimidating.  His whole stance changes as he slumps and stares at me with an entirely new gaze - one of admiration rather than amusement.  His eyes soften, as does his tone.

“You’re Justice’s daughter?  I should have known.”

“You knew my father?”

He shakes his head.  “Not personally, but he is forever legendary around here.  There isn’t a man here that doesn’t know of the champion Chief Clash.  He was highly respected by all.  I can see he passed on his honorable legacy to you.  I can assure you I won’t try anything so foul, should we meet in another round.  I owe you a debt of gratitude for being so honorable.”

I shake his hand before he walks off.  A man hands me a very large basket full of silks, wine, wool, and other various items.  I smile as I approach all of the weary faces.  I chuckle slightly as I tease them.

“Man, you guys act like I just lost.”

SaShante comes running up.  She’s the only one who seems excited about my win.

“Oh my gosh!  That was so awesome!  You were like bam, and he was like boom, then you were like pow.  It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.  You took down Brutus in the first fight.  No one has ever done that!”

At least someone knows how to enjoy a win.

I laugh at her trying to replay my motions as she continues to sing my praises.

Julius grabs his stomach as if it aches.  “That wasn’t easy to watch, just so you know.  I can’t believe you took out Brutus.  Even more so, I can’t believe he shook your hand after he lost.”

Kace leans back from his slumped position.  His ghostly white appearance is so pitiful, proving this is going to be a long competition.

“That was far worse than I had anticipated.”

Julius adds, “Yeah, I don’t know if I can fight Kace every time you fight.  It was all I could do to keep him in the box.”

I laugh a little.  “You guys need to lighten up.  I won.  Here’s the basket of stuff.”

I try to hand it to Malfus, but he shakes his head at me.  He smiles as he speaks with such appreciation for my accomplishment.

“That’s yours to do with as you please.  You can barter it or keep it as a souvenir.  We divide the big bounty amongst the clans at the end.  There’s a rather substantial prize for the top three tribes.  The individual wins are yours to keep.”

I nod and then walk over to SaShante.

“Well it seems I have more stuff than I know what to do with.  Would you take some of it off my hands for me?”

Her eyes light up as an enormously excited grin spreads over her face.  “Really?” she squeaks out.  Then guilt cloaks her sweet face as her shoulders slump.  “I couldn’t.  It wouldn’t be proper.”

I rub the top of her head as I encourage her.  “I wasn’t ever big on being proper.  That’s how I got here in the first place.  I insist you take as much as you like.”

She smiles big again and rushes me for a hug.  I’m caught off guard by her show of affection, but I finally return her embrace.  Then she starts rifling through the basket, giggling the whole time as if she’s just found Christmas.

Kace smiles as she ruffles through it with excitement.  With a quick smile my way, he enters the ring to fight.  His guy isn’t like the hulking beast I had faced off with, but he’s very skilled.

Kace takes him out effortlessly, and I smile as he returns.  They bring his basket to the box, and he gives me a smirk.

“Let her dig through that one too.”

SaShante almost leaps up.  “Seriously?”

He laughs as he nods, and she commences tearing through the basket.

Malfus looks over to me.  “You’ll be up again after this match.  You need to stretch.”

He looks over at Kace.  “Thin man stretches.  Her muscles have gotten cold by now.”

Shit.  Helena had stretched me before the first match, but she’s in the qualifying rounds for crossbow right now.

Kace nods and then turns to me with a big smile.

“Lie down.”

I laugh at his playfully bossy tone.  I do as he says, and he starts pressing my leg beside my head.  His body is glued to mine, and his face is just centimeters away.  When he moves to my second leg, our eyes lock intensely.

Damn Greyhorn air.  I speak to lighten the moment.

“Why do they call them thin man stretches?  They should be called get-a-room stretches.”

He laughs so hard he loses his grip and falls backward.  He shakes his head at my humorous comment, and it takes him a minute to regain his composure before he can respond.  He resumes with my stretching as he speaks through his chuckles.

“They’re called thin man stretches because you don’t have so much bulk in the way of your stretching.  Usually it’s for the runners or the lighter guys.  You’re more flexible than the normal competitors, so you need the added intensity of bodyweight pressed against you.”

He releases my leg and moves to the next stretch.  He’s still snickering somewhat over my little joke.  At least I squashed the seductive moment.  I don’t know how much more I can take of this damn air - if that’s even what is sparking all this flirty nonsense.

I hear them announce my name, and I hop over the wall, ready to relieve my newly formed tension.  My earlier release has been soured by the desire that continues to mount, and I’m verging on the brink of crazy again.  I don’t know how many meaningless nights one can have before it’s meaningful, or I would damn sure be asking for another Greyhorn rendezvous.

This guy is smaller but faster than Brutus.  I check his body for weaknesses, and my eyes fall on a large bruise on his lower abdomen.

The bell rings, and the man charges me.  I run full speed at him until I see my opportunity.  I jump up and kick him in the stomach with both feet.  The man flies backwards and thuds against the ground.

He rises to his knees, and he’s obviously writhing in pain as he clutches his stomach, the spot where he was already hurting.

He scrambles around for a minute before lying on his back and gasping for air.  He taps the ground to signal he can’t continue.  Two of his tribe members come to help him out when it proves to be too difficult of a task for him to do on his own.

The announcer sounds just as astonished as he had earlier when he announced my win.  I put the basket down in the box, and Julius laughs.

“Could you slow it down next time?  That wasn’t even fun to watch.”

I smile as I grab the healing ointment I had brought.  Then I grab the body paint as well.  Julius looks at me peculiarly.

“Are you hurt?”

I shake my head.  “No, but he is.”

SaShante follows me as I jog over to the man’s box.  They all look at me with surprise when I hop in.  I put my hand in the ointment and move toward him.  He draws back as he questions me suspiciously.

“What are you doing?”

I try to seem less threateningly intrusive as I reply with genuine compassion.  “You need this.  It’ll help with the pain, and it will heal nicely if you use it hourly.  I have plenty more if you run out.  Wrap your stomach tightly after applying more of it tonight, and you will feel like a new man in the morning.”

He tilts his head in a confused sort of manner.  “And you’re doing this because?”

“Because you need help.  No one should have to suffer through that kind of pain.  It’ll only get worse if you don’t do something about it.”

I hold up the rest of my gifts.  “This is body paint.  Smear it over the bruise and then around your body so it doesn’t look like you’re hiding something.  Try not to touch it and no one should notice your weakness.  Otherwise, they’re going to pound on it in the next match too.”

He laughs slightly.  “You really are Justice’s daughter.”

My head pops up.  “You knew him?”

“Not personally, but I watched him when I was a boy.  He was the reason I got into the warrior bit.  I wanted to be as admired as he was.  Somewhere along the way, I forgot why I started fighting.  Thank you for reminding me.  And thank you for the help.”

I nod, and SaShante speaks to him as if she knows him.

“Watch your back out there, Julienne.”

He pokes at her.  “I see you’ve swapped sides this year.  I would’ve gotten you in.”

“I’m still a fan, but I couldn’t pass up the chance to be around the first girl all around.”

He sits back and laughs, but quickly winces when he realizes it hurts to laugh too much.  “It seems as if you might be in better hands.  I don’t mind you learning those kinds of habits.”

I smile at him as he does me.  Then I scurry back to our box.  Julius looks pissed in reaction to my bizarre behavior.

“Why did you do that?”

“Because he needed help.”

He slaps his head in frustration.  “That’s not the way we do things around here.  We aren’t supposed to mingle with the opponents during the matches.  We certainly don’t lend them a helping hand.”

I laugh incredulously.  “Didn’t anyone tell you?  I don’t play by the rules.”

He shakes his head and huffs as he walks off.

“I’m going to have a stroke.  That girl is going to put me into an early grave.”

I just laugh a little harder to myself.

Soon enough, the first day ends, and we’ve been successful.  Everyone has advanced to the finals, and I kicked ass all day.  Kace has also done well in kicking ass.

CHAPTER 26

INHERENT RESPECT

SaShante is waiting around when I walk out in my normal clothes.  We make our way to the fire pit, and the others wrestle playfully as Julius prepares a feast in our isolated area.

Her enthusiasm fills me with such pride.  “So, can you show me how to fight?”

“I can give you a lesson or two.”

She claps her hands together in excitement.  I turn to Julius and smirk deviously.

“Hey, will you help me show SaShante how to spar for a minute?”

His eyes widen as he speaks in mock fear.

“No.  Never again will I even think about sparring with you.  After all I've witnessed today, I realize you’ve been holding back.  So my answer isn’t just no, it’s hell no.”

I laugh at him.  “Please.  I swear I won’t hurt you.  Just let me demonstrate how to use your strengths.”

He continues to shake his head.  “Uh-uh.  Not happening.  I’ve had more blood brought to my face from you than anyone else.  So let me reiterate it a little more clearly.  Hell to the no."

I laugh even harder.  SaShante is laughing now too.  Kace walks up with a smile and a hint of seductive menace.

“I’ll help with your demonstration.  Just go easy on me.”  He winks at me, making those terribly exciting chills go to war with the instantly rising heat.

While feeling the butterflies ruffle through my stomach, I fight the ridiculous grin trying to spread across my face.  SaShante smiles teasingly at me, her young, yet knowing eyes almost mocking me.

I speak with a very instructive tone.  “Most guys carry their strength in their upper bodies, so they tend to attack with their upper bodies first.  Let me show you.”

I motion for Kace to simulate an attack.  He swings his arms slowly.  Then I turn back to her.

“Most girls carry their strength in their lower bodies.  So it’s instinct to attack with it.  Come at me.”

I motion for her to try to attack me.  I put my hand on her head, and she kicks.  I catch her leg and smile.

“See?”

“I didn’t even mean to do that,” she says excitedly.

“It’s instinct.  Don’t fight your instincts, use them.  It’s important to enforce what feels natural.  Watch what I do when Kace is standing in front of me.”

Kace steps up to play my puppet.  I bring my knee up to meet his ribs in slow motion.

“My strongest feature is in my legs, so I’m going to target his most exposed and weakest area when I’m this close.”

Kace smiles as he grabs my thigh.  “Okay, but what happens if I do this?”

His hand is holding my leg tightly as it presses against his body.

Yeah.  Like I can concentrate now, Mr. Transparent.

I swallow hard as I continue to speak to SaShante - trying to sound composed and instructive rather than rattled and seduced.

“If he traps my leg, I’m going to use my strongest upper body weapon, my elbow.  I’m going to bring it up as high as I can to connect with his face.  I’m using my elbow because it is stronger than my fist.  If you break your hand, the fight is basically over.”

As I turn back to face her, Kace wraps one arm around my waist and one across my right shoulder to slide down and cross over my chest to meet my waist.

“What happens when you’re attacked from behind?”

I smile again, but I continue with my tutorial as I mimic the actions I would take.

“I’m going to stomp his foot.”

I pretend to stomp, and Kace loosens his grip to go with the demonstration.

“Now his grip is looser, enabling me to thrust my elbow into his stomach.  Once I do that, he’ll stagger back slightly and double over as a reflex.  Then I have the opportunity to kick him in the face.”

Kace whirls me around to face him as he pulls my body tightly against his, making our fiery touch unbearable.  His arms wrap around me with force, not giving me an inch to wiggle.  I can feel the heat of the close contact from our bodies starting to sizzle.  He speaks with his tantalizing, smoldering tone.

“What if I grab you like this?  You’re too close to move your knee, and you’re too constricted to stomp my foot.  I have your elbow trapped.  What happens now?”

What happens now?  Sheesh.

I don’t want SaShante to see what I want to happen right now.

One hand moves up my back to the base of my head as his hand slightly winds around my hair.  I’m finding it hard to breathe now from the intensity of the physical contact.

SaShante speaks humorously.  “Now I am too young to see this.”

Then Julius speaks up to add to the humor.  “Now why doesn’t that sort of thing happen when I spar with you?  I always end up a bloody mess.”

I laugh as Kace steps back slightly with a devious smile.  He knows what he’s doing to me.  That jackass.

He leans over to whisper, “Is the Greyhorn air irking you tonight, biter?”

I roll my eyes as I try to steady my trembling… everything.  “Maybe a little.”

SaShante smiles as she comes to insert herself between us.

“How did you take down Brutus?”

After taking a deep cleansing breath, I murmur, “I found his most dominant weakness.  He was limping.”

She turns to face Kace mischievously.  “What’s your biggest weakness?”

He smirks at me as he answers her.  “I only have one, and it won’t do them any good in the ring.”

My heart almost flies out of my chest.  He takes a step back and winks at me.  He jogs up to join Julius, and SaShante seems disappointed.

“He didn’t say what his weakness was,” she pouts.

It’s me.  I’m his weakness.  Oh fuck my life.  Why did he have to say that?  Now I’m a puddle.

Helena walks up just as SaShante goes to badger Kace more about his vague answer that has left her unsatisfied.

“That was intense.  Why exactly won’t you just give into him?  It certainly looks like you want to.”

I sigh as I stare at him.  “I do want to.”

She gasps.  Oh shit.  I didn’t mean to say that out loud.

I hear her voice hitting her annoyingly high octave like she always does when she’s excited.

“I knew it!  Why don’t you tell him how you feel?”

“Because I can’t be someone I’m not.  Right now, I’m strong and independent.  If I’m with him, I won’t be me anymore.  This is the first time in my life I’ve felt this in control of my destiny.  I don’t want to lose that.  Not to mention, he’s already hurt me once.  I don’t think I could bear to face that again.  Despite our tangled conflict, Kace is a good guy, and he deserves a normal girl.  I can’t ever be that for him.”

Her eyes soften.  “I’m pretty sure he’d never settle for normal after being with you.  Being in love doesn’t mean being someone else.”

“You know it does for me.  I can’t be who I am, and be someone’s… anything.  I’m not able to straddle the fence like that.  I can’t cater to a man and still be me.  It doesn’t work that way in our world.”

Helena shakes her head.  “I can promise you that no man would work harder to make it work that way than he would.  Think about what you’d be giving up if you completely lose him.  Right now, he’s still holding on to hope.  If you keep pushing him away, eventually his hope will fade, and he will move on.  Are you sure you want to throw away something that rare because you think it might make you change?”

If only I could be honest with her.

She pats my shoulder, but then her look changes.  She speaks skeptically, as if she just read my inner thought.

“Are you sure that’s the real reason why?  You’re normally much more convincing.  What’s really holding you back?”

Fortunately, Julius yells to everyone, interrupting our conversation.

“Come and get it boys and girls.”

Saved by the dinner bell.  Helena’s interrogation is put on hold as we join the group.

We all feast, and then Kace and I walk SaShante back to meet her mom.

Everyone decided to meet up at the tavern, but Kace refused to let me tackle the Greyhorn streets alone.

After waving a sweet farewell to my biggest fan, Kace and I walk in a comfortable silence to join the others.  He doesn’t hesitate to sit down beside me as we order the first round.

We’re talking amongst ourselves about the wildly successful day when Brutus approaches.

Kace moves his arm in front of me protectively as he speaks warningly.

“We don’t want any trouble Brutus.  You know the warriors are prohibited from fighting each other outside of the ring.”

Brutus scoffs, “Put your ego on hold, Kaceton.  I’m not here to fight.  I came to speak with Arena, and I know from experience she can take care of herself.”

I snicker slightly and Kace tilts his head in a bewildered sort of manner, as if he’s stunned by the hulking man’s soft approach to the girl who whooped his ass.

Brutus walks over to the bar and hands the barkeep a fat fold of silk.  She hands him a large bottle of whiskey, and he returns to our table promptly.

“You can’t get the good stuff for free.  I want you to have this as a token of appreciation.  It’s not everyday you run across someone who will forever stand out in your mind.  Julienne told me about all you did for SaShante - letting her in your box, giving her all she wanted from your winnings, and taking her out to celebrate with you afterwards.  I have to say, I’ve never met anyone who made me feel small until I met you.  Thank you for that.”

I blush under his appraising gaze as I accept the bottle.  “Thank you.  SaShante is a good girl.  How do you know her?”

He bows his head.  “I used to be close to her father.  He was faded in a war that never came to be, just as they all are.  I’ve never really appreciated the way she idolizes us warriors.  Then I saw the way she looked at you today.  That little girl is strong, but she’s never had hope until today.  You were the reason for that.  I’m sorry for my unsportsmanlike conduct during our fight.  You reminded me of how noble warriors once were.  For that, I owe you a debt of gratitude this bottle of whiskey doesn’t cover.”

I nod appreciatively, and he bows before turning to walks away.  The silence he instilled on our group is making me incredibly uncomfortable.  Julius’s mouth is gaped open in disbelief.

“Have I gone mad?   Someone needs to check the journals, because I’m pretty sure the world around us has just changed.”

Everyone chuckles at Julius’s humorous comment - the silence breaking and the awkwardness gradually subsiding.  Then Julienne approaches our table.  He doesn’t seem to be favoring his stomach as much now that the medicine has had some time to work.

His eyes light up when they catch mine, and I take note of his handsome features as he offers me a chiseled grin.

“I came to speak with Arena, if that is okay.”

Everyone nods, though I really don’t need their permission to speak to anyone.

He turns back to me and hands me a small medallion attached to a chain.  I look at him peculiarly.  He smiles again as he starts his explanation.

“When I was a boy sitting atop my father’s shoulders while watching the games, a warrior gave that to me.  That warrior was Justice Clash.  He told me warriors knew when to be fierce, compassionate, merciful, and wise.  He said a warrior should always use his mind and heart to guide his every move.

“Now, I’ve lost my way over the years, but today, you reminded me of the words Justice took the time to speak to me - the most respected man in the warrior world took the time to speak to a young boy that idolized him.

“I felt shameful when you came to tend to me.  I had been thinking of a way to exact my revenge outside the ring.  When you came to help me, I was baffled.  It was the first time in a long time I’ve felt anything other than rage.  Then I saw you with SaShante.  She was so excited to bring her mother back the gifts you had bestowed upon her.  It made me want to be a better person.

“That medallion represented what your father stood for.  I don’t deserve to wear it, but I think he would be proud if he could see it in your possession… with a warrior who truly encompasses the meaning behind it.  It would be my honor to present it to you.”

Tears try to make their way to my eyes as I look at the medallion.  The bronze, faded etchings initially seemed foreign, but now the old, worn piece reveals a touch of familiarity.

Though the memories are vague and distant - barely a footnote amongst the other memories I cherish so dearly - I do remember my father wearing it when I was a child.  I never asked what happened to it.

My eyes lift up to meet the adoring hazel eyes staring down at me with nothing but sincerity, making his words hold more truthful weight.

“Thank you for this.  Everyone seems to have a soft spot for SaShante.  She was cheering for you when you weren’t facing off with me,” I murmur, the end holding more playfulness to lift some of the heavy air.

He laughs.  “She’s a good kid with a bad story.  We’ve offered to let them join our tribe, but her mother worries about the viewer more than ever.  She feels like a tribe draws in its attention more.  They struggle to live, but Eliza, SaShante’s mother, is too prideful to admit it.  I took them a few pounds of food earlier after I felt guilty for never having done such before.  The gifts you gave her will sustain them nicely in the bartering market.”

I smile a little bigger.  “You may be a better person than you’re giving yourself credit for.”

His lips tighten as he forces a bitter smile - one full of more guilt than I’ve ever seen a smile bear.

“A sinner doesn’t turn into a saint overnight, but there’s more hope for me today than there was yesterday,” he says while bowing, and then he walks away before I can offer him more words of encouragement.

Two other guys sweep in the moment the opportunity presents itself.  I had offered them the same ointment I had given Julienne, and they offer me gifts from their winnings as tokens of gratitude.

They thank me for reminding them what the warrior spirit was truly about.  Apparently, there are many warriors who feel as though they’ve strayed from their original path of righteousness.

Julius chimes in humorously as they walk away.

“Miles away from home and Arena is still being chased around by suitors.  She kicks their ass, and they tell her thank you.  Unbelievable.”  He rolls his eyes to add to the drama of his sardonic exaltation.

Kendall is laughing as she interjects, “Maybe one day you can show me your trick.”

I roll my eyes, trying to hide my now blushing cheeks. “They’re just admiring my father.  They aren’t trying to court me.”

Kace smiles as he speaks quietly to me.  “They’re not admiring your father.  They’re admiring you.”

He pulls his hand up to brush my hair from my face, and my lips pulse to feel the touch of his.  I blush more at the unexpected compliment, and my eyes find the will to shy away.

Helena raises her glass.

“To Arena; the girl who may never see the big heart she truly has.”

Everyone toasts and drinks in my honor, making me squirm all the more from the undeserved attention.

“I’ll drink to that,” a familiar, yet still strange voice says from behind, and I instantly feel the chill igniting around me as Kace tenses up.

“Well it seems congratulations are in order,” the guy continues.

I turn around to see Kingston, his smile intended to antagonize the man already fuming beside me.  Kace’s eyes are coursing with venom, daring Kingston to cross a line.

What the hell is the deal between them?

“Kingston,” I say cordially.

“I came to tell you thank you for seeing to one my men.  As chief, I wanted to personally express our gratitude.”

Chief?  He’s so young.  He can’t be more than twenty-four or twenty-five.

I put my hand into Kace’s, trying to calm him slightly.

I start to say something, but Kace beats me to it.  “So your father retired early?  Never imagined that ass turning over power.”

Kingston doesn’t flinch or show any emotion.  His stone face is nothing like the sweet, playful one I encountered earlier.

“Misel’s dead.  I took his place about eight months ago.”

Kace shows no concern for Kingston’s loss.  He’s cold and callous, dealing out no remorse for his coming remark.  “Pity,” Kace releases with nothing but sarcasm.

Kingston smiles bitterly.  “I’m sure you’re torn up.”

Kace smirks.  “Devastated.”

What the hell?

I finally try to show some sympathy and act like a reasonable, compassionate human being.

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

Kingston’s eyes warm once he hears my voice, and he turns back to me, forgetting the stare down with Kace.

“Don’t be.  He was a merciless bastard with a black heart that rivaled the Devil’s.”

Whoa.  Talk about daddy issues.

I almost shiver from the new, even cooler atmosphere.

Kingston shifts the conversation quickly.  “I know you’re with Kace, but I came to tell you that my tribe is always looking for new members.  Should you ever find yourself in need of a change, you know where to find me.”

Really?  You’ve got to be kidding me.  It’s so obvious he’s trying his best to provoke the man already barely restraining himself.  Kace is going to fucking kill him now.

Kace stands to get in Kingston’s face, grabbing him by the collar.  An almost triumphant smirk spreads across Kingston’s face, taunting Kace even more.

Julius pipes up, “Not here, Kace.  He’s not worth it.  He’s using Arena against you.  Don’t fall for it.”

I quickly jump up to move between them, using all my strength to force Kace away, and then I put my back against Kace, keeping Kingston in front of me.

“My home will always be with the Shaylan.  I’m not looking for a change.  Thank you for the offer, but I don’t ever plan on going anywhere.”

I turn and put my arms around Kace, playing into the charade once more, and his arms tighten around me in response.  Kingston rolls his eyes, though I can see the disappointment for the successful defusing I’ve done.

“Of course not.  Kaceton always gets exactly what he wants.  It only figures he’d get the most beautiful and captivating woman I’ve ever known.”  He turns to face me.  “It’s been a pleasure, Arena.  And I mean that… sincerely.  You truly are remarkable.  Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.”

Kace speaks through gritted teeth.  “No one tells her any different”

“Not yet.  But I know you too well, Kaceton,” Kingston says with a spiteful stab that leaves me all the more curious about their apparently vile history.

Kingston bows to me and turns to walk out.  I can hear everyone releasing their breath at once while relaxing their tensed bodies.

Helena’s eyes are burning against me when I back away from Kace, confusion suddenly plaguing her face.

“When did you two get back together?”

Kace answers for me.  “We’re not, but I can assure you that you don’t want someone like Kingston sniffing around her.”

His tone hasn’t gained any warmth yet.  I can almost feel his angst and anger materializing over his skin until he completely abandons my touch.

I lean over to him to whisper, “What’s the deal between you two?”

“It’s a long story.  I promise I’ll tell you one day, but not tonight.  Tonight is about celebrating, not discussing old scars.”

Scars?  How bad is this shit?

I put my hand over his as my eyes stare into troubled blue ones.

“I want to know.”

He leans over and gets even closer.  His mouth is directly beside my ear, and the heat of his breath is unnerving.  Damn him.

“Not tonight.”

His lips graze my cheekbone as he withdraws and I’m lost, dying to feel those lips all over my body.

What happens now?  Do we get another night?

He breaks the eye contact and releases me from my tangled mess of confusion as he joins in the idle conversation that animates the table.  He smirks at me - fully aware that he has just thoroughly sent my hormones over a cliff.

That jackass!

Julius tells some ridiculous joke to ease the tension.  I force a chuckle, but my mind is elsewhere.  I can’t help but wonder what Kace is keeping from me.

CHAPTER 27

VICTORIOUS SUNRISE

I wake up to the sun blaring in my eyes, rudely disrupting my incredible sleep.  I scowl slightly at its unwelcome brightness, wishing I had drawn the curtains shut before crashing last night.

Within an hour, I’ve washed up, put on my clothes, and brushed through my dark hair.

Kace is waiting for me as soon as I walk out, and my stomach flips forward to announce my hidden excitement.

“You get to shoot the bow today.”

I smile large as I nod, avoiding words because I really don’t trust my mouth not to go rogue and blurt out something embarrassingly scandalous or crude about how incredibly sexy he looks right now.

SaShante runs up to us, her swishing curls bouncing with vibrant life as she excitedly starts her early morning interrogation.

“So, can you shoot a bow?” she asks curiously, and I do well not to give anything away as I keep a straight face.

Everyone snickers under their breath at the private joke, but she doesn’t take notice.

I smile as I answer modestly, “I know enough about the bow to advance to the finals.”

Kace and Julius both roll their eyes in unison, but they keep my secret as we make our way to the arena.

I’m the first in sparring… again.  The crowd isn’t doubting me today though.

The guy is quick, and I dive between his legs.  I grab his ankles as I slide under him and kick him while I’m on the ground.  Once he falls, I grab his legs and pull them toward his head while sitting on his back.

Once he taps the ground, they call the match, awarding me with another win.

I swiftly sprint over to the bow area.  Everyone in the crowd loses interest in the sparring they love so much and shift their eyes to the bow section in anticipation - curiosity and suspense bringing them to the edge of their seats.

I watch as the apples sway back and forth, just as they did at home.  I steady my breath to be slow and even while counting to myself and slowing down the image in my head.  Weighted by the still air, I account for the windless atmosphere and the speed change it will create.

With a rocketed release, the arrow spirals through the air and connects with the board on the back.

Everyone lets out a gasp of disappointment as one apple hesitates and stays on its perch.  But then, finally, the apple falls.  My one arrow strike stuns everyone, and the crowd erupts into hysterical cheering for the feat they’ve never seen done before.

I walk back to our box smiling as I cross over the wall.  Julius laughs.

“They’re chanting your name.”

I can hear it now.  They’re repeating my name over and over.

SaShante chimes in, “They want you back out there.”

“For what?  My next event is hatchet, but it’s at least an hour away.”

She laughs as Kace explains with a hint of laughter in his tone as well.

“They want to see you give an encore and then take a bow.  You just walked off from something that has never been seen at these games.  They want to see it again.”

Then the announcer calls my name to prove the two of them right.  I walk back out as they reload the apples, and I glance up at the silencing crowd trying not to distract me as they hold their breath.

Kingston is standing in front of the obstacle with his bow on his back.  He was supposed to be next, but I have to interrupt his turn due to the crowd’s excitement.

He whispers as they work on the reload.

“That was pretty incredible.  Is there anything you don’t excel in?”

Relationships.  I suck at relationships, emotions, and staying away from Kace.  I force a smile as I respond.

“Sewing.  I don’t fare well with a needle and thread.  To be honest, it kicks my ass.”

He laughs a little and my eyes shift back to Kace.  His jaw is clenching, and I know it’s all he can do not to leap over that wall right now,

I turn back to whisper, “What’s the deal between you and Kace?”

He looks surprised.  “He hasn’t told you his version?”  Then a smirk spreads across his face as he continues.  “Well, then.  There might be a chance for me after all.”

Not with me.  I start to press for more information, but the reload is finished.

“I believe you’re up again, Arena,” Kingston says with a smile.

Damn it.  I’m never going to find out.

I steady my breath just as before.  I line up the apples and start my count, feeling the pressure I hope I can answer.  With a stilled breath, I release the arrow and watch it zip through the apples.

All twenty fall easily this time.  Again, the crowd goes crazy.  This time I bow.

I run back to the box shaking my head.  Julius laughs in disbelief, though there’s a proud tune to it as well.

“Unbelievable.  She’s having a better debut than any man I’ve ever seen.  They’re going to have to force the crowds to go home today.”

Kace smirks.  “Indeed.  I’m going to have to step up my game it seems.”

Then Malfus interrupts our moment of joy with frenzied panic.

“Garren has just broken his thumb, and he won’t be able to compete in the hatchet competition now.  We have no alternates for hatchet.”

Kace looks baffled.  “How did he break his thumb?”

Malfus scowls.  “The fool was wrestling around and fell on it.  If we don’t find a replacement, we automatically lose twenty points.  The most we could hope for is third place.  That’s the smallest bounty.  Not to mention, we’ll lose our place next year and have to do preliminary qualifications, risking early injury when they try to take us out of the race.”

I speak up as Johnny walks around.  “Johnny can do it.  He’s not great, but he can’t hurt us any worse than if we have no one.”

Johnny turns and throws his arms up in a what-the-hell motion.

“Hey!”

I smile at my accidental insult.  Kace answers the question with seriousness.

“He can’t.  Selective candidates are only allowed to compete in one event.  We have to have him for running.  The alternates we brought are only skilled in crossbow, spears, and bow.  They’re young and barely have any skills with any other weapons.  I suppose we have no choice but to use one of them though.”

Kace turns to Malfus.  “I’ll give them a quick tutorial.  All we can do is hope for the best.”

Malfus sighs in acceptance, his whole demeanor suddenly sullen.

Kendall speaks up in her mousy tone.  “I can throw hatchets.  I’m pretty good actually.”

Julius is surprised and intrigued as his mouth pops open and then claps shut. “What?  Why didn’t I know about this?”

“I was going to surprise you at the next banquet.”

It dawns on me that she was the Heflin girl who was practicing the day Kace and I went there.  I cover my smile.  Malfus purses his lips, mulling over her offer as if there’s anything to really think about.

“I see no other option.  Any skill is better than none at all.  Someone suit her up.”

Mom quickly responds.  “Abigail sent extra uniforms in case the girls had any problems.  I have Helena’s extra in the changing room.”

Kendall follows her quick lead, leaving behind an incredibly excited Julius eager to see his girl dressed in a skimpy warrior uniform.

Malfus chuckles a bit now that he’s calmed down and jokes with us.

“Everyone is going to think I’m developing an all-girl warrior pack.”

Kace joins him in his laughter.  Johnny rolls his eyes while shaking his head in mock exasperation.

“It figures I would finally join the warriors just as the girls start to take over.”

I shove him playfully, and everyone laughs.

Kendall walks back out with the tiny uniform on and her hair down.  I lean over and tease Julius slightly.

“Breathe, Julius.  Breathe.”

He finally speaks as she fidgets nervously.

“Yep.  I’m in love.  My girl can throw a hatchet, and I just saw her in one of the sexiest uniforms known to man.”  He sighs with a smile as he continues with a playfully constructed tidbit.  “This is the best day of my life.”

Everyone laughs again as he walks over to kiss her, her smile splitting her face.

As Kendall joins the event, I sit down beside Kace.  His arm sweeps around the back of the bench, and I can feel the fever from it as it crosses over my shoulder.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Julius so happy,” he says with a sincere grin.

I laugh a little.  “I don’t think Kendall will be worried about keeping his attention anymore.  She might just hold onto that uniform for bargaining reasons.  I don’t think he’d object to anything she said as long as she’s wearing it.”

Kace laughs hard as he scoots in a little closer, and then we watch Kendall step up to take her place.  Though most of the spectators are viewing the sparring match going on just a bit away, our entire box is solely focused on the shy girl as we try to find out just how big of a secret she’s been keeping.

She throws two of the hatchets simultaneously at the split blocks.  They both hit dead center.  Then she throws one at the high target and hits it dead center as well.  She throws two hatchets simultaneously at the two targets farther apart, and she nails the centers once again.  The crowd cheers as she jogs back toward us, her smile insuppressible.

Julius has a look of shock plastered on his face, awe teeming in his eyes, and drool forming at the corners of his mouth.

“You’re pretty good?  You’re unbelievable!  I’m amazed right now.”

He pulls her to him and kisses her again hard, showing no discretion.

Kace and I both snicker at Julius’s newfound excitement.  He struts over to us with a cocky smile.

“That’s right.  I’m with a warrior.”

Our laughter only grows upon witnessing his childlike exuberance.

I walk out to take my turn, not really worrying how I place after seeing Kendall’s exhibition.

I’m close to perfect as I connect with all of my targets, though one of the last two falls just shy of the center.  Kace follows me and does almost just as good.

We’re elated to know we just swept the top three spots.  Kendall is first, which thrills Julius.  Malfus is certainly impressed with the unexpected addition to the team, considering she’s a hell of a lot better than Garren ever thought about being.

I place second, just barely beating out Kace who graciously settles for third.

The crossbow is next, and again, our tribe sweeps the top three spots.  Helena soars with a huge lead to take first, and everyone’s ecstatic while the crowd falls into shock.

Kace smiles as they announce him in second and me in third, giving me a wink to let me know he’s got some skills better than mine.

Without thinking, I leap into his arms as they announce me the bow winner, and Kace seems pleased with second place follow up.

Kace kicked ass in knives and spear, taking first in both events, but I’m right behind him.

The whip segment is mine to lose and everyone knows it.

After leaving the targets slashed in perfect order without a single mishap, I walk back from having broken every record set, and every man is almost sweating.

Kace smirks at me as I playfully swipe the whip behind me before crossing the wall.

I tease him slightly as I pull the whip behind my neck and get as close as I can without touching him.  “Greyhorn air getting to you?”

He tries to wipe away his smile, but it doesn’t work.  He grabs me and pins me against the wall, turning the tables on me in an instant.

“Maybe a little,” he says to mock me, but his sexy as hell attitude and stare send me into a dissolving mess.

Fuck.  That bit me in the ass.  Now I’m the one struggling.

His lips tempt mine, but Julius calls to him to end the seductive ploy he’s attempting to unleash.

“Whips!  Kace, they’re calling for you.  Whips.”

Kace smirks as he pulls back slowly.  Damn him.  Now I have to watch him out there.

I barely beat his time, and he places second.  He walks up to me with a menacing grin.

“We really should discuss staying another day or two in Greyhorn,” he teases.

Oh hell no.  I’m about to fall apart at the seams as it is.

Kace kicks ass in swords and I’m right on his heels.  We continue alternating back and forth for the first spot, and eventually we end up tying in sparring since they don’t allow tribal members to fight each other.  Thank goodness.

The audience might get more than they paid for if we went out there right now.  I’m pretty sure the nature of physicality we’d display wouldn’t be quite the tousle they’d be expecting.  I blush slightly from the scandalous thought.

The announcer walks to the center of the arena to address the crowd.

“The first place tribe should be evident by now.  For those of you who have been completely tuned out… it’s the Shaylan!  In second, we have the Kuslan.  And in third we have the Heshlan.”

Cheers roar loudly and I can see Kingston staring at me.  His tribe is the Kuslan, the second place winners.  I’m still curious about the secret no one wants to spill.

The announcer jars me free from my thoughts as he continues.  “For the first time in the history of this sport, we have a tie for the champion all around.  As it turns out, they are from the same tribe.  As a result, we have two champions to crown this year: Arena Clash and Kaceton Brice.”

The crowd erupts into the loudest cheers I’ve heard yet.  Kace and I walk out hand in hand to receive our crowning.  We bow to the wild fans going crazy in the stands as they scream our names.

I hug him compulsively.  With the excitement, it feels like a reflex.  His arms clasp around me as he whirls me around.  He still has me lifted slightly, and I slide down his chest as he slowly releases me.  Our eyes stay locked the entire time, making me feel as though I’m too close to slipping.

Our moment is broken when we hear the sound of heavy footsteps approaching.  We’re surrounded by strange men, and the stands are quiet by the time I even gauge what’s going on.

The announcer steps up and yells to the men.  “You can’t be here.  You’re banned from these events.”

The bigger man steps toward us.

“The event is over.  We’re here to settle up on a personal account.  I assumed this would be the best time since the council is in attendance to give a ruling.”

A bald man with a long beard walks up to speak to the creepy guy.

“What matter do you wish to speak to us about?”

The creepy man glares at me before responding.  Then his eyes cut back to the bearded man.

“My name is Juniper.  I’m the leader of the Mostiles.”

I gasp slightly at the startling revelation as my heart knots up and struggles to beat.  The sickening tug at my gut is almost painful as my whole body becomes weighted by the mere name of this barbarian.

This is the son of a bitch who’s been sending people into our tribe.  This asshole is part of the tribe my father went to war with - the war that stole his life.

Kace grips me tighter as he feels the rage inside me growing.  He knows what I want to do, and he’s the only thing holding me back right now.

Juniper smirks at me as he continues.  “I’ve come to collect on a debt owed to me by the Shaylan.”

Malfus steps up to take over the conversation, adamantly rebutting the outlandish claim made by the vile, loathsome excuse for a man standing before us.

“There is no debt owed to you, Juniper.  We have never entered into any business agreement with you or your tribe.”

Juniper smiles eerily at him.  “Oh, but you did.  Jespin was making weekly payments of meat and crops to me for a good I was supplying him with.  He became very fond of his addiction to a little manufactured product only I could provide him with.  Now, he’s several weeks behind.”

Malfus scowls.  “That stupid fat fool.  He has deserted our tribe.”

Juniper’s smile broadens.  “Then I guess you realize the debt falls to the tribe to pay.”

Malfus speaks to Juniper with a tone of defeat while moving toward negotiations.

“What do you want?  We have more than enough silk to pay off any debt he owes.”

“Being that I get to choose what a sufficient payment is, I will take nothing less than your girl champion.  She will be an excellent breeder for my own warriors.”

Oh, fuck no!  Sick bastard!

Now Julius is restraining Kace as he tries to tear a way.  He’s ready to rip their heads off, and personally, I’m considering that to be an option myself.

Malfus speaks up very quickly to snuff out the request.

“She’s not an object of payment; therefore she cannot be traded for a debt.  You know the law.”

Juniper quickly counters, as his smile still stays intact.  “Yes I do know the law.  I have traded women in the past, for we do view them as objects.  The law acknowledges each tribe’s own personal standards for objectivity.  Since I am the one who is owed the debt, the standard falls to my personal specifications.”

The bearded man turns to Malfus.  “He’s right.  If you owe him, there’s nothing we can do.”

Nothing they can do?  Really?  These sons of bitches are trying to say they find his request feasible?  Oh what I’d give for a damn knife right about now.

Kace steps in front of me.  “The law also states we’re entitled to place a challenge to clear ourselves of any debt brought upon us by a traitor.  Any man who enters into a bartering agreement without notifying the tribe is deemed a traitor.  Therefore, we challenge you.”

“Well, well, a warrior with a brain.  Who would have thought it?” Juniper taunts.
The bearded man responds.  “He’s right.  They’re entitled to a challenge.  No one can refuse them unless you forfeit your debt.”

Juniper smiles again.  “Very well.  We will accept the challenge.  When we win, the girl comes with us without any further dispute.”

Kace grips my hand and I have to run to keep up with his fast pace as we head back to the box.

“What’s going on?” I ask in irritation, feeling a little lost about what the hell just happened there at the end.

“Jespin fucked us over.  Don’t worry.  I swear I won’t let him have you no matter what I have to do.”

Julius runs up with panicked eyes.  “Who’s taking the challenge?”

“I am,” Kace says without hesitation.  He almost sounds offended by the question.

Johnny timidly interjects.  “I can do it.  You’re already exempt from the challenges.  I still have to win ten of them.”

“I’m not letting anyone fight for her but me.  There’s far too much at stake.”

Malfus quickly agrees.  “He’s right.  Kace is the best.  He has to be the one to fight.”

I feel like a piece of meat in the mouths of two dogs playing tug of war.  I cross my arms in protest.

“Why don’t I fight for myself?”

Kace shakes his head without even considering my offer.  “Even if women were allowed to fight in a challenge, I wouldn’t let you.”

“You wouldn’t let me?  I think I’ve earned the right to fight if I want to.  I’m not some girl you can just boss around.”

He walks over to me and speaks with an exhausted and slightly angered tone.

“For once in your damn life just trust someone.  I’m not letting you do anything.  I’m sorry if you feel like I’m belittling you, but you can just get the hell over it.  I won’t stand by and do nothing just because you feel insulted.  I have rank in this situation, and I’m using it.  This is one argument you won’t win.  You can hate me if you want to, but I won’t let those monsters get any closer to you than already have.”

I cower down slightly from the unexpected scolding.  I can hear him strategizing with Julius as they walk away.

“If anything goes wrong, get her the fuck out of here.  Get her as far away as you can.”

Julius nods.  “I know a place.”

“If anything goes wrong?  What do you mean?”  My voice is feeble and terrified, sounding nothing like myself.

Kace ignores me, as though he can’t bring himself to respond, and Julius finally answers.

“These men don’t fight fair.  There’s a reason they were expelled from the games.”

Now I feel sick.  Kace is telling Julius to get me out because he worries he won’t live through it.  No.  No.

I feel so incredibly helpless.  I hate not having any control.  The announcer tells everyone of the challenge about to take place.  He announces the rules with less enthusiasm than he had announced the competition.

“Neither challenger can intentionally kill their opponent in the ring.  Any attempt to do so will result in immediate disqualification and the win defaults to the opposing party.

“No retaliation from either clan is permitted.  Such attempts to do so will be punishable by death.  Anyone who interferes while the match is underway is also doomed to death.  Once the match is over, the debt will be settled by the winning party."

Death for interference?  Holy shit.

This is far more consequential than the competition.  Between the death threats and the request I become payment for Jespin’s betrayal, I’m physically growing sick.

The lean announcer sighs heavily, not enjoying this at all, as he draws out a card from a black hat and announces his findings to the crowd.

“The event will be double swords!”

Kace bends over to chalk his hands to ensure a good grip the second he learns his task.  I can feel the knot growing in the pit of my stomach as I speak with a choked up and worrisome tone.

“Please don’t do this.  There has to be another way.”

His eyes look up to meet mine.  Without a word or warning, he grabs me at the waist and pulls me to him.  I feel the fire surge through my veins as he kisses me, his tongue finding mine as the passion freely exchanges through our parted lips.

I can feel the desire I’ve been fighting against taking over me as he pulls me closer.  He grips me tighter, and then releases me almost in the same breath.

His eyes are heavy as he speaks.  “I love you, Arena.”

I love you too.  Why is that so hard to say out loud?

I can’t let him just walk away, so I grab him and kiss him again.  This time he seems even more passionate as his lips collide against mine with such magnificent force.  His tongue dances with mine, and the world around us is gone for the moment.

We both draw back slowly as Malfus interrupts.

“I’m sorry, Kace, but it’s time.”

I grab his arm just as he starts to jump the wall.  I speak without knowing what’s going to come out.

“That wasn’t the Greyhorn air.  It hasn’t ever been the Greyhorn air.”

His lips softly caress mine once more, making tears brim on my lids.  I don’t want to let him go.  He finally draws back and finishes crossing over the wall to face the hostile Mostile.

Helena walks over and clutches my hand tightly for support.  I can see the worry staining her eyes, casting their shadows of fear away from me so as not to stir my own trepidation.

My mother walks over to take my other hand, and Julius comes up behind me to put both of his hands on my shoulders as he towers over me to watch.

Kace takes his stance, and the bell rings to start the match that will surely leave me in a tensed up mess.  The Mostile man circles him, inspecting Kace as though he’s searching for a weakness.

He’s snarling and glaring with fury burning in his eyes.  His teeth are yellowed, rotten, and crooked, and the pungent odor he carries makes my nose wrinkle in disgust.  I can only imagine how horrid that smell is up close.

His body is filthy, smeared with sweaty muck and dirt – it doesn’t look like he’s ever bathed.  Festering sores litter the top of his bald head, and he looks deformed in certain ways.  It’s possible he suffers from inbreeding.  It’s a common problem in the smaller tribes, and he sure as hell doesn’t look normal.

Kace seems cool and focused as he skulks around the man.  He swings the swords in circles, as if he’s studying their weight.

The man lunges at him, but the seasoned Shaylan warrior is ready.  Kace swirls around to dodge the man and gashes him on the back.  The man almost growls at him as he lunges again.  This time, Kace isn’t able to dodge him.  The man gashes the side of his arm.

Kace doesn’t even acknowledge his bleeding limb as he keeps his attention on the grotesque man.  The score is even now.  His crooked rotten teeth are clenched shut as his snarling continues.

This time Kace lunges at him.  The man charges back and the swords clank, their metal vibrating against each other.  The fight seems to drag out for several gut-wrenching hours even though it’s only been minutes.  Sparks fly as the swords continue to strike against each other, their sharp, piercing connections rattling my ears.

Kace finally gashes the man’s leg, drawing more blood.  The man charges him in a blind rage, wanting to do more than merely leave a slash.

Kace dodges him and hits him in the back of the head with the handle of one of the swords.  The man drops to the ground.  He flips over quickly, but Kace meets him with a sword to his neck.

The man lies completely still as the sharp tip of the blade presses against his neck, just barely avoiding a puncture.  Then Kace barely flicks his wrist, and a small nick appears on the man’s neck, followed by a victorious trickle of blood.

Kace drops his swords as the announcer raises the flag to declare the match over.  A flooding sense of relief sweeps over me as my whole body loses its tense, rigid posture to relax.

Exhaled breaths and cheers of joy sound off out in unison.  The dark cloud looming over our heads lifts.  Knowing he has just risked his life for me makes him all the more alluring in this moment.

His eyes lock with mine and his devilish smirk emerges, igniting me to my core.  I’m not fighting my desire right now.  I’m letting Lady Lust roam freely through my body, and it feels good.

A sick feeling consumes me and my smile dissolves in an instant as I see the Mostile man pulling out a knife that was strapped to his ankle.  He hurls it at Kace before I even process what’s happening.

I scream as the knife connects, but it’s not Kace that the knife struck.

I scream again as Johnny falls to his knees with the knife stuck in his back.  He had run out to get in front of the deadly blade, and I’m forced to see my best friend bleeding onto the ground.

Kace turns around to see what happened just as the man grabs another knife to throw.  I grab a hatchet from the table.  I don’t give myself a chance think this time - I just react.

I hurl the hatchet through the air, and a cracking sound echoes as it strikes the man’s head before he can release his weapon.

Everyone gasps as his bloody, lifeless body collapses to the ground, and I launch myself over the wall to help my friend.

Kace dashes to Johnny's side as well, and the two of us desperately scramble in panic.

Johnny is gurgling from the blood that has pooled in his mouth, and his eyes are glazed over.

I pick his head up as I scream, “Someone get a doctor!”

Johnny puts his hand on my arm, but he’s not strong enough to hold it there.  His breaths are labored as he wheezes for air.

“Looks like… I finally ran… toward something instead of away… from it,” he forces out between pained, strained breaths.

He coughs as he tries to laugh, and more blood fills his mouth.  The wheezing grows louder as the doctor rushes over.

I yell, but my voice barely maintains an intelligible tone.

“Johnny Cabot!  You had better not die on me!  I swear I will find a way to bring you back so I can beat the hell out of you for doing this to me.  You can’t leave me.  I need my best friend.”

He just smiles as his eyes close.  My screams echo throughout the coliseum as his body goes limp in my arms.

CHAPTER 28

HONEST EMOTION

The doctor walks down the stairs to bring an end to our anxiety.  He smiles lightly as he speaks to all of us.

“Well, he’ll be sore for a while, but he should be fine.  He’ll need to rest for another day before traveling though.  You should be able to leave out by noon tomorrow without any problems.

“He’s a very lucky lad indeed.  Another inch to the left and he would have been paralyzed or worse.  He’ll have a substantial scar, but no long-term damage.  I gave him something for the infection, and he seems to be talking fine right now.  You’re welcome to go on up and visit him.”

I feel air finally return to my lungs as the suspense ends.  Worry slowly creeps out and makes room for relief.

Kace walks up and wraps his arms around me, pulling me into the comfort of his embrace.  His voice is filled with genuine concern and compassion, and I just want to fall apart in his arms.

Don’t do it.  Don’t do it.  Be strong.

If I fall apart now, I’ll give in completely.  I can’t do that.  Especially not now.

“Are you going to go see him?”

I shake my head.  “Not right this second.  I need a minute to digest everything.  I’m going to take a walk and clear my head.”

“I can go with you.”

Don't let him.  Don't let him.  “No, I need a minute to myself.  Thank you though.”

He purses his lips before speaking with a bit of hesitance.

“Stay away from the shadows, please.”

I just nod as I walk away.

As soon as I feel the cleansing fresh air slapping against me, I take a deep breath, and then I double over to put my hands on my knees.  I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted.  I’m alone with my only emotion left… fear.  I finally rise up and wipe away the tears that have escaped.

I see SaShante and her mother sitting on the steps of an old building.  I slowly make my way over to them, and the blond ringlets pop up.  SaShante sprints toward me the moment her eyes fall on me, and I can see the burden tainting her youthful face.

“How’s Johnny?”

Don’t cry in front of this little girl.  Be strong.  Be strong in front of her.

“He’s fine, believe it or not.  He’s just going to have a scar.”

She hugs me and I can feel her body relaxing in my arms.  I maintain my composure and fight back the multitude of tears trying to breach my eyelids.

I turn my gaze to her mother, and my shaky voice barely remains audible.

“We’re going home tomorrow, and I wanted to offer you a place in our tribe.”

SaShante’s eyes light up as she turns to eagerly await her mother’s answer.  Eliza shakes her head, showing the pain in her expression as her memories haunt her.

“We can’t.  I’ve seen what happens to a tribe when one is offended.  In some cases, the whole tribe has been faded.  I can’t risk my daughter’s safety.  We’ve been through too much as it is.  Our life has it struggles, but we know how to stay safe.  We make due with what we have, and we always find a way to scrape by.  Though I have to say, the gifts you gave us were too much.  The silk alone is worth more than I could ever repay.  Would you please let me give some of it back?  It doesn’t feel right to take so much.”

I put my hand up to stop her from trying.

“Keep it, please.  SaShante was my good luck charm.  She made me want to do better each time I stepped foot on the dirt.  It’s the least I can do.  It should help with the bartering market, and hopefully it will keep food on the table for some time.”

She chuckles slightly.  I have given them all the silk I acquired - baskets and baskets full.

“It will certainly keep us healthy.  Thank you.”

I wave to them as I head back to check on Johnny.  I don’t know if I’m strong enough to see him yet, but I don’t want him thinking I don’t care.  I have to stay away from Kace.

In this state, there’s no telling what I might do, and now I can’t simply blame it on the Greyhorn air.

I start to knock on his door, but I hear voices.  Shit.  Kace is in there.  Damn it.  Now what?

I ease in closer to hear Kace speak.

“Well, I’m glad to see it wasn’t worse.  You have no idea-” He pauses for a minute when his voice attempts to choke up.  He clears his throat and then speaks quieter.  “I wouldn’t have forgiven myself if you hadn’t made it.  I wouldn’t be here now if you hadn’t stepped in front of that knife.”

“Technically, I didn’t step in front of it - I ran full speed.  I’m still questioning that logic, so don’t get all mushy on me.  I liked it better when I hated you.  It’s a little painful to be nice to you.”

Johnny’s normal playful tune lightens the heavy room.  It’s so sweet to know he’s trying to ease Kace’s guilt.  They both snicker slightly.  Then Johnny continues.

“I didn’t just do it for you.  I did it for Arena too.  She has always protected me.  I kind of owed her.  There’s no telling what she might have done if something had happened to you.”

Helena‘s voice joins in.  “I’ve never seen her as worried as I saw her today.  She wasn’t worried about what was going to happen to her, she was worried about what was going to happen to you in the ring.  She was terrified she was going to have to watch something go wrong.”

Johnny quickly adds, “I saw the way she was looking at you during the fight.  I haven’t ever seen her look at anyone like that.  I can remember wishing she would just give me a slight glance, but I got nothing.  I never thought she would care about anyone the way she does you.”

Kace sighs as he argues, “I don’t think it’s like that.  She was worried about me, but she worries about everyone.  She takes charge because she doesn’t want anyone else getting hurt.  She doesn’t look at me as anything more than she does either of you.  It has taken me a while to understand that, but I finally did tonight.”

My heart sinks before breaking.  This is how I’ve made him feel?  I care about him, but I just can’t be what he wants.  Why can’t he see that?

Helena sounds confused.  “But I saw her kiss you.  She wasn’t doing that for show.”

“She’s been pushing me away ever since then too.  She wouldn’t even let me go for a walk with her.  I could see the regret in her eyes for having led me on again.  I told her I loved her again, and she kissed me to shut me up.  I wanted to believe it meant more to her, but deep down I knew it didn’t.

“She wasn’t going to break my heart before I stepped into the ring, but she wasn’t going to lie to me either.  If she loved me, she would have said it.  I’ve been killing myself trying to figure out how she truly felt.  She’s so hard to understand, but tonight I finally saw the truth.  She didn’t even consider returning my affections.”

Johnny laughs.  “You think she doesn’t love you because she didn’t say it?  Man, I really thought you knew her better than that by now.”

Now Kace sounds confused.  “What do you mean by that?”

Helena answers, “Even as a child, Arena never told anyone she loved them besides my father.  He was the only person in the world she couldn’t refuse.  He had such a way with her.  He was the only one to ever influence her at all, until you.  He was the only one to have any power over her, until you.  He was the only one she ever listened to, until you.  You don’t even see how much she has changed since she met you.  She’s a happier person because of you.  She doesn’t have to say it in order for me to see it.”

Kace almost whispers, “Then why won’t she accept me.”

Helena sighs, “She said she doesn’t want to deprive you of a chance to be with a woman who doesn’t mind following the order of things.”

Pain laces Kace‘s soft tone.  “I never wanted to be with anyone until I met her.  Now, I could never be with anyone but her.  It wouldn’t be fair to let any woman live in her shadow.  I could never love anyone the way I do her.”

Tears well up and beg to flow my eyes.  Why?  Why does he love me?

Johnny speaks with conviction.  “Then don’t let her go.  Fight for her as hard as you did tonight.  Sometimes she’s too stubborn to hear what you’re really saying.”

Kace chuckles as he speaks skeptically.  “Sometimes?”

Johnny and Helena both laugh and I find myself smirking.  Then Johnny continues.

“Well, most of the time.  She’s always been that way, and most likely she always will be.  She’s different with you though.  Why do you think I was so jealous?”

Kace laughs at Johnny’s humorous question.  Then Johnny continues.

“Just talk to her, and try to get her to listen.  She might finally get over herself long enough to admit how she really feels out loud.”

Gee.  Thanks Johnny.  I am listening, but I can’t give him what he wants.

Kace sounds hopeless.  “I wish it was that simple.  One moment I think I see her staring at me and the next it’s as if she doesn’t see me at all.”

Johnny laughs louder.  “There will never be anything simple where Arena is concerned.  You fell for the wrong girl if simplicity is what you crave.”

Kace sighs.  “Well, enough of this talk.  We should be focusing on the man of the hour.”

Johnny chuckles.  “I do deserve a little attention, don’t I?”

Kace and Helena both laugh.  Then Helena walks out suddenly to catch my spying.  Her eyes connect with mine as she pats me on the arm.

I back into a small broom closet before Kace exits.  I can’t let him know I’ve been listening.  I watch through the crack as he passes by.

Once I hear his footsteps disappear, I emerge from my hiding spot and slip into Johnny’s room.

Johnny smiles at me as I shut the door behind me.

“Hey.  There she is.  I was starting to think you’d forgotten about me.”

I shake my head and fight off the army of tears working their way out.  His eyes lose their playful light and soften to reveal sincerity as he smiles compassionately and tries to soothe me.

“Don’t start that or I might cry.  I’m not used to having to be the rock.”
I laugh as I wipe away the escaped tears.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me these days.”  I pause to take a steadying breath, and then shakily continue.  “How do you feel?”

“Like I literally got stabbed in the back.”

I laugh slightly at his morbid joke.  His tone shifts to be more serious.

“The cauterization hurt worse than the actual blade.  It’s a good thing I don’t pack much of a punch; otherwise that doctor would’ve had it.”

His humor had returned by the end, though I know it’s just his greatest defense mechanism.

I put my hand on his.  “The doctor said you wouldn’t sustain any long term damage.  He said at most you would have a scar.”

“Yep.  Chicks dig warriors with battle wounds.  They don’t have to know I’m just a runner.”

I smile at him admirably.  “You were far more than a runner tonight.  You were a hero - my hero.”

He rolls his eyes. “Well it took you long enough to see my true potential.”

I don’t crack the grin he expects.  Instead, I offer him genuine adoration with all seriousness in my tone.

“I never doubted your potential.  You’ve been a hero more times than you’ll ever know.  I’m just glad you were finally able to see it for yourself.”

He blushes from my praise, and then he turns the conversation unexpectedly while releasing a reluctant, begrudged huff.

“You need to tell him how you really feel.  He’s losing hope.  I know you well enough to know you don’t really want to lose him.  You just won’t say it aloud.  Whatever is holding you back, you need to get over it.  If I can’t have you, he’s the only suitable replacement.”

I laugh again as I kiss him on the cheek and sigh.  “You need to get some rest.”

“Yeah, yeah.  That’s what everyone keeps saying.”

I close the door and head up the stairs.  Just as I start to open my door, Kace walks out of his room.  Our eyes lock, and I’m frozen - paralyzed by my fear and desperately wishing I could be invisible.  I don’t know what I should say or even if I should say anything.

He walks over to me with burdened eyes and weighted hopelessness.

“Hey, have you gone to see Johnny?”

I nod and attempt to keep the conversation light.

“Yeah.  He was telling me about how the girls were going to go wild over his battle wound.”

He smiles slightly, but I can tell it’s forced.  Hesitance rings out in his tone.

“So… about that kiss.”

No.  Not now.  I can’t do this right now.  I feel the butterflies ruffling around, and a lump rises to my throat.

“Yeah, about that…” My voice trails off, the sentence not really needing to be finished.

He leans against the wall before continuing.

“Did that mean anything at all to you, or am I right to believe it was just a diversion?  I know you heard what I said before you kissed me.”

It meant everything.  Why can’t I just say those words?

“I heard, but I don’t feel like talking about it tonight.  There’s been a lot happen, and I don’t want to say the wrong thing right now.”

His eyes cut away as pain enters his voice.

“You mean you don’t want to deal with having to tell me I’m a fool for continuing to chase after you.  You win.  I give up.”

He huffs away, and I can feel the chills spreading.  These chills aren’t delicious, they’re tormenting.

I call to him with my voice crackling from the emotion rising.

“Kace, I didn’t mean it like that.”

He turns back around.

“What do you want from me?  Every time I think you’re starting to have feelings, they seem to vanish just as quickly.  You’re giving me whiplash with all your constant shifts.  I can’t keep up, and I’m done, Arena.  I’m hurt and I’m exhausted from trying to find a way to break through your ridiculously well fortified barrier.”

I grab his hand in an effort to keep him from leaving.  I feel one of the tears escape from my lids, and I fight to keep the rest at bay.  My voice continues to crackle.

“Please don’t be mad.  I just can’t do this.”

He scowls as he rips his hand free.

“Tell me why.  I deserve to know that much.  You don’t want to stay at home cooking and cleaning?  That’s fine with me.  I happen to be an excellent cook, and I clean up after myself.  You don’t want to take care of kids?  That’s fine too.  I would love to have children, but I would give up that possibility just so I could be you.  You want to hunt and continue with the competition?  Please do.  I don’t want you to change anymore than you want to change.  I love you just the way you are.  I don’t want you just so I can change you.  I don’t want anything about you to change other than your inability to tell me you want to be with me.  Why can’t you understand that?”

A couple more tears escape as I try to find a way out of the horrible mess I’ve made.  Fear, lust, pain, anxiety, and the new emotion called love now collide in war.

“I know you would be wonderful, but I … I wish I knew what to say to make you understand.”

He throws his hands over his head in frustration.  He stands completely still and takes a breath before speaking in a bone-chilling, calm, and quiet voice.

“I think I do.  I think I understand perfectly well.  You don’t want to be with me.  I may not like it, but I can handle it.  Just stop giving me hope, because I can’t handle that.”

He turns his back once more in an effort to escape the hallway and me.  The tears pour out with more freedom, stinging me with their scolding burn.  My voice is almost pitiful.

“I can’t do like my mother did.  I know you don’t understand that, but it’s the truth.”

He keeps his back turned to me as he stops walking.  I see his shoulders drop, and finally, he turns around.  His voice remains calm as more pain enters his eyes.

“You can’t be a wife?  You can’t be a mother?  You can’t cook or clean for a man?  Arena, we’ve already covered this.  Just let me go to the tavern.  I can’t keep standing here letting you tell me we can’t be together.  I’ve already heard it more than I can bear.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Damn it.  Why is this so fucking hard?  Just let him go and shut the hell up!

He puts his hands together as if he’s begging as he speaks dramatically.

“Then please enlighten me.  What exactly do you mean?”

I take a deep breath, trying to calm the storm inside of me.

“I can’t love someone like she did and watch helplessly as they are faded away.  Do you understand that?”

His eyes soften now, suddenly understanding my true reason for pause.  As I continue, more tears start making their way to my eyes.

“She doesn’t remember the last two years she had with my father.  It’s as if they don’t exist.  She can’t remember the last words they spoke, the last touch they felt, or even the last kiss they shared.  She can only read about them in her journals.

“She begged and prayed for just one memory to return.  She pored over those last two years of journals everyday for years, just trying to remember one of those things, but she never could.  She read about those years as if she was reading about two strangers.  She could only hope she hadn’t forgotten something.

“I can’t be like that.  I wouldn’t survive it.  I don’t keep myself guarded because I’m too stubborn or too strong.  I keep myself guarded because I’m not strong enough.”

I’m not sure if it’s because I’m exhausted and tired of weaving through the catacombs of denial, or if it’s because I’ve finally said all that out loud, but I feel myself letting down so many walls.

He stands there for a minute as if he’s uncertain about how to react to my startling confession.  It’s the first time I’ve ever said the truth about how I feel.  It’s the first time I’ve been honest with anyone about why I’m so opposed to the concept of loving someone, and now that it’s out, I feel free.  I feel as though the world has just been lifted from my shoulders, and the breath of life is being breathed back into me.

I’m suddenly pushed against the wall, and my arms wrap around his hard body instinctively.  His lips press themselves against mine, and the world around me starts spinning uncontrollably.  I can feel the abundant tears rolling down my neck in their feverish flow.  His hands are in my hair, pulling my face tighter to his as our lips continue their passionate embrace.

He grips me at my waist and my right thigh as he frees me from the wall and pushes me through the doorway of my room.  I hear the sound of his buttons popping as I rip off his shirt, and a couple rattle as they hit the floor.  My hands desperately scour his perfect body, and my lips move with a more fervent and needy pace.

His hands slide up my sides, pulling my shirt up and freeing me from its confines.  His hands grip me tightly as he places me on the bed and lets his hungry eyes fall over me.

I feel the heat rushing me as his body moves over mine.  I’ve been fighting so hard to stop myself from loving him, and now all I want to do is give in.  I need him worse than I need air, and though it terrifies me, it also feels incredibly empowering at the same time.

He pulls back to look into my eyes and the smoldering stare sends Lady Lust into a frenzy.  His lips graze my neck, and the fire overwhelms me.  I grip his face and pull his lips back to mine.  I’m ready and willing to be lost in him.

As crazy as it sounds, with the worries, anxiety, and truth released, I finally feel free - free to love him.

CHAPTER 29

A NEW LIFE

I wake up the next morning with a blushing smile as I feel the warm arms holding me.  I open my eyes to see Kace smiling so affectionately at me, his eyes holding mine the second they cross paths.  My legs are wrapped around him, as usual, but I cuddle in closer rather than pull away.

In all my life, I’ve never felt so free, and it’s all because I finally quit fighting.  It’s all because of him.

He softly breaks me out of my blissful memories from the night before.

“We still have a couple of hours left before we have to leave.  I’ll go get us some coffee.”

I can’t help but notice how incredibly alert he is.

“How long have you been awake?”

His hand moves up my bare leg until it rests on my thigh.  He smiles sheepishly.

“A while.”

I laugh slightly as I nestle into him.

“You didn’t have to stay in bed.  I’m sure you’ve been bored to death.  I would’ve been fine.”

He raises his brow and blushes slightly.

“You’re lying under the sheets - completely bare - with your body wrapped around mine after giving me the most incredible night of my life.  There’s nothing at all boring about that.”

I laugh as I hide my face.  He snickers lightly and speaks more seriously.

“Besides, there’s something I’ve wanted to do for so long now - something I‘ve missed.”

I uncover my face as I stare fearlessly into his smoldering gaze.

“What’s that?”

He grins as he pulls me into him.  His lips softly brush mine with a teasing dance before they connect in a delicious, devouring kiss.  I feel his hands gripping me tighter until he finally draws back with a smirk.

“I love the Greyhorn air.”

I roll my eyes.  “It’s definitely seductive, but it’s never been the air.  I never stopped wanting you.  I just needed an excuse to give in.”

He grins menacingly as he bounces his eyebrows up and down playfully.

“Oh, the air is definitely seductive, and it was all part of my master plan.”

“Mission accomplished, Mr. Sexy As Hell.  I’ve been seduced, ravaged, and thoroughly satisfied.”

He laughs hard and covers his face with one hand.  Then he shakes his head as he speaks with a chuckle.

“I think that makes two of us.”  He kisses me again and then softly adds, “I’ll go find some coffee.”

“I’ll come with you,” I say while trying to get up.

He grabs my shoulders and gently forces me back down as he smiles provocatively.

“Please don’t.  I would prefer it if you stayed right here, like this.  I won’t be long.  I promise.”

I feel the red radiating from my cheeks as a girly grin spreads over my face.  I agree to his request, and he stands up to pull on his pants.  I feel my whole body blush as I indulge in the wonder of his mouthwatering body in the daylight.

Oh how I’ve missed that.  I’m suddenly chewing on my lip and burning alive, and my eyes refuse to peel themselves away.

He turns to catch my wandering eyes and blushes in response.  He chuckles slightly as his lips find mine.

“You need to stop looking at me like that if you want to make it out of Greyhorn sometime today,” he says with his smoldering, daring, alluring, and delicious tone.

I smirk as play his game.  “I never said I was ready to leave.”

I grip his sides and tug at him to pull him on top of me.  His lips magically envelope mine, and I’m ready to make it a long day in the room.  He draws back reluctantly while shaking his head.

“I need to grab the coffee and check on the plans.  I’m sure some of the others are wondering where I am.”

I shrug playfully.  “So, let them wonder.”

He rolls his eyes.  “My little vixen biter.  You’re absolutely killing me right now.”

I huff slightly as I release him from my grip with a disgruntled, begrudged motion.

“Okay.  Go be Mr. Responsible.”

He laughs a little and pulls on a shirt.  I feel desperate to keep him with me, which is a new and powerful experience.  I suddenly fear every moment lost.  Why can’t I just let him go get the damn coffee?

Oh hell.  I know why.

“I love you,” I blurt out.

Holy fucking shit!  I said that aloud.

The words didn’t rattle around harmlessly in my head like they normally do - they rolled off my tongue, leaving me exposed and even freer than I was before.

Tears fill up in my eyes as the phrase hangs suspended in the air.  Those three words have stricken me with more fear than anything else in the world.

He turns to me with a look of shock.  Passion, desire, relief, and a longing need suddenly fill the perfect steel blue eyes staring into mine.  A smirk plays on his lips, and I can feel his body calling to mine.

He glides back to the bed and quickly pulls me into the comfort of his arms.  His lips hungrily attack mine, and my lips seek refuge in his.  My heartbeat quickens and I feel my nails sliding down his back with a fervent need to be as close to him as possible in this moment.

He pulls back as he speaks so quietly.

“I love you, Arena.”

Then the passion ignites a fire I’ve never felt before.  A slow simmer has just turned into a roaring blaze.  I can feel his arms pulling me back into his body as the fire consumes the both of us.  I smile as I hear the sound of his pants slapping the floor.

We lie there basking in our glorious aftermath.  I swear the sex just keeps getting better.  Every time I think there’s no way it can get any better, I’m proven wrong.  Oh my damn, that was incredible.

Both of us are panting, trying to catch our breath.

“That was…”

“Fucking epic,” he says breathlessly while finishing my sentence for me.

I chuckle a little at his dramatic description.

“I agree.  It would be better if we had some coffee though.”

He laughs loudly while rolling his eyes.  “I believe that was my attempted mission that you sabotaged.  You pulled out all the stops in order to derail me.”

I snicker as I smirk deviously.  “A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.  I’ll go get the coffee.”

He flips over to be on top of me and brushes my hair from my face.  His eyes don’t bear the smoldering gaze, but a look of pure elation fills them.  I blush slightly and he surprises me with a luscious, lingering kiss.

He hops to his feet and once again pulls on his clothes.  I’m still not fully able to withstand the temptation of his phenomenal bare body in the light.

Really?  After that exhausting sexcursion, you want an encore?  Sheesh, girl, show some restraint.

He snickers slightly.  “I can’t believe you’re still giving me that look.”

I shrug as I smirk.  He just rolls his eyes as he pulls on his shoes.  I gather the sheets at my chest and sit to face him.

“Can I go with you now?”

He shakes his head as a scandalous smirk emerges.  “I’d prefer to keep you in this room, just like you are, for as long as possible.  It’s up to you though.”

“I think my legs are too wobbly to try and make it down any stairs as it is.”

He playfully teases, “Stamina, baby.  Stamina.”

I start to say something witty, but nothing comes to mind.  My mind is mush right now - only filled with more things I want to do with him.  In surrender, I slump back down and reply in defeat.

“Funny.”

He smiles triumphantly and leans back over the bed, making every bit of my body tingle in response.

“I love you, Arena Clash.”

I smile like a fool in love because that’s what I am.  “I love you, Kaceton Brice.”

His lips embrace mine once more and he quickly disappears from the room before I can derail him a second time.

I giggle a little once I’m sure he can’t hear me, and a goofy shriek sounds out.  I’m such a girl right now.

A knock at the door jars me out of my girlish trance and I scramble to pull the sheets tighter as Helena pops in.

Oh crap.  I don’t have on any fucking clothes.

She barely glances at me and winces as she speaks.

“I’m so sorry.  I didn’t mean to wake you.  We have an hour and a half before we have to leave, and I need to grab some clothes.  I’ll only be a minute so you can go back to sleep.”

She grabs some clothes from the table and disappears behind the changing screen.  I resist the urge to giggle as I respond.

“You didn’t wake me.”

I hear her sigh in relief.  “Good.  I’m really sorry about last night.  I didn’t mean to fall asleep.  I swear I was going to come back.  Did Kace have to sleep here?”

Now the fight to suppress my laughter becomes almost impossible.  I vaguely respond, and manage to sound unaffected by the hysterical torture brewing inside.

“Yeah,” I force out blandly.

“I’m so, so sorry.  I hope it wasn’t too awkward for you.  I know you two have had some extra tension lately.  I didn’t mean to make it worse.”

“It wasn’t awkward at all.  I think we really worked through some of our tension last night.”

My cheeks burn from smiling so hard at the secret innuendo completely lost on her.

She walks out from behind the screen as she speaks.

“Well I really didn’t mean to…”  Her voice trails off as a look of horror spreads over her face.  “Oh good grief!  What did you do to your hair?  Damn, you sleep rough these days.”

I can’t fight the hysteria anymore.  I burst out with my painful spurts of laughter and almost choke on the overwhelming force of them.

Helena’s confusion continues to amuse me.  She has no clue what’s really going on as she notices me under the sheets.

“Are you naked?  It’s really not that hot in here.”

Before I can say anything, the door creaks open.  Kace pops in to the unexpected surprise of Helena’s presence.  He blushes slightly as he fidgets uncomfortably.

Helena’s eyes widen when she finally assesses what’s going on.

Wow, she’s so stumped right now.

Embarrassment parades around in her tone.  “Oh.  Now I just feel awkward.”

Kace snickers slightly as I cover my head with the sheet.  The fabric muffles my voice slightly as I tease her.

“Well at least you didn’t walk in on us sleeping.”

Kace coughs out a hard laugh, and I can feel the radiation from Helena’s burning blush.

I come out from under the sheet to see Helena’s face glowing.  She inches toward the door uncomfortably.

“I think I’ll give you two some privacy.”

Then she scurries out quickly, staggering slightly as she trips over the threshold.

Kace shakes his head as he walks over to me to hand me my cup of coffee.  I smile at him, my eyes taking him in with a completely different sort of appreciation.

“Now we’re going to hear about this later from the boys,” he says playfully.

“It was worth it.  I don’t know if I’ve ever seen her so speechless or embarrassed.”

He picks up my journal and holds it up curiously.  I blush and shrug shyly.

“Yeah, I sort of had to write about last night.”

He laughs as he playfully teases me.

“Are you trying to make the future generations blush?”

“It’s for my own personal memories.  I’ll make sure those pages get ripped out and burned, I promise.”

He snickers slightly as he starts to put it back in my bag.   An intriguing smirk spreads over his face as he pulls out the black and red dress I brought.  I had worn it to the last engagement banquet.

His eyes narrow as he teases me.  “Now, just where you planning on wearing this?”

I laugh behind my cup while offering a casual shrug.  “I didn’t know how many functions we would be attending.”

“So, you decided to bring the sexiest dress in the history of dresses to a function full of men?  I don’t think so.”

I laugh a little harder.  “I might’ve had some scandalous intentions to try and seduce you.  I didn’t know how many girls would be fighting for your attention.”

He walks back over to the bed and lies down beside me, as he looks me directly in the eyes.

“You’ve never had to fight for my attention.  You always have it without question.”

“You told me this was one of your hunting grounds.  I got worried I would have to witness you with some random girl,” I say shamefully, my eyes slipping free from the grip of his.

He sighs.  “That’s why you thought someone was in my room.”

“Yeah.”

“I really wish I hadn’t shared that bit of information with you now.  At the time I wasn’t planning on falling in love with you.”

I frown.  “I don’t want you to hide stuff from me.”

“I don’t want my past affecting our future.  Absolutely nothing from my past has been relevant since the first day I pulled you from that trench.  You’re everything, and I don’t want anything else.  I can swear to that.”

My lips almost tackle his.  I draw back slowly and speak through my raspy breath.

“I’m sorry I wasted so much time trying not to be in love with you.”

“Well, now we have plenty of time to make up for things.”

I swallow hard as I prepare myself.  “I want to be in a legitimate courtship with you.”

He frowns, making me feel a little insecure all of the sudden.  “No.  I want us to have a relationship - a two-way relationship.  Courtships give the men all the power and I know that’s not what you want.  We can do this our way.”

I smile ridiculously big.  “I want to do this.  I trust you, and I’ll gladly put my happiness in your hands.  I love you.”

His eyes sizzle with temptation, and my body instantly flames in response.  Oh my damn, he’s so fucking sexy.

“I love you too.  Are you sure this is what you want?”

I nod.  “I want you and I want to give you all of me.”

“I’m yours,” he says with a soft, heartwarming grin that tickles me all the way down to my toes.

I smile bashfully.  “I’m yours too.”

His hands travel slowly up my back and they awaken the two-headed beast known as lust and desire.  His lips carve new trails against my skin, and fiery sensations engulf me.

A smile plays on my lips when I hear his pants slap the floor for the second time this morning.

Escaping the bedroom proves to be a near impossible feat, but we finally manage to pry ourselves free and join the others.  Kace’s arms are locked around me, and the heat of his body causes me to regret leaving the bed.

Johnny walks out with his arm in a sling, and everyone claps, offering him a hero’s tribute he deserves.  He smiles as he humors us with a bow.

The plump, smooth lips of Kace find mine, and I’m lost in the moment.  I’m not ready to return to reality.

Julius walks up to spoil the moment.  “So are you two finally together?  For real?”

Kace chuckles a bit.  “Yes.  It’s very real and official this time.”

Julius throws his hands up.  “Well it’s about damn time.”

I laugh at his juvenile outburst as Kace and I return to our kiss.  Harrison interrupts us this time.

“Helena was so upset we had fallen asleep.  She was worried you two would be mad at us for making you share a room again.  Then she said that things were more than friendly when she got there.”

Julius pops back up out of nowhere.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.  You two were that kind of together, and this is the first I’m hearing about it?  Unbelievable.  I’ve had to hear about the push and pull from both of you, and no one tells me when things finally get fired back up.  That hurts, you know.”
Kace shoves him playfully, and Julius continues with a more teasing tone.

“Of course I knew it was just a matter of time, considering that night in the hallway when you two were eating each other alive.”

I blush instantly and bury my head in Kace’s chest.  The guys all enjoy laughing at my embarrassment, including Kace.  Assholes.

“Time to head out, Shaylan,” Malfus says, ending the playful mockery he's unaware of.

Thank goodness he and Mom are completely oblivious to our conversation.

We start our long journey home after the boys tease us some more, and I’m exhausted by the time we finally make camp.  I spent too much of the night doing anything but the truly sleeping, and now I’m paying dearly for my carnal desires.

Kace throws a mound of blankets into our tent, and I smile as he walks over to me.  He rubs the back of his neck and blushes slightly.

“As hard as it may be, we have to show some restraint tonight.  I think the tent has much thinner walls than the room did.”

I laugh slightly and join him in his blushing.  Then Julius walks up speaking with distaste.

“Gross.  Now I know I liked it better when you two were just eye-fucking each other.”

Kace bursts out laughing, and I bury my face once again.

My mother walks over, and Kace coughs to warn Julius.  Julius quickly makes himself scarce and abandons the scandalous taunt.

“I’m turning in for the night.  I just wanted you both to know how incredibly happy I am to see you together,” Mom says proudly, a twinkle of smugness in her eyes.

I take her hand and motion for Helena to join us.  I lead them away from the rest of the group to speak to them privately.  I take a deep breath before speaking.

“There’s something I’ve been neglecting to tell you both for far too long.  I’m not the best person at showing emotion, but I’m working on that.  I just want you both to know I do love you, and I always have.  I’m sorry I never said it before.”

My mother’s eyes start pouring decades worth of barricaded tears.  She smiles as she grabs me in an almost violent embrace.  I laugh for a second at her more than pleased reaction.  Her voice is muffled from her happy sobs.

“love you too, dear.”

Then Helena joins our embrace.  She has tears falling as well, though they aren’t quite as bountiful as my mother’s.  Helena’s voice is soft and honest.

“I love you too, baby sister.”  Helena chuckles slightly as she draws back.  “Well, I guess you’re changing whether you want to or not.”

I smile faintly.  “There are some things that needed to change.”

My mother wipes her eyes as she laughs a little.  “I never thought I would hear you say such a thing.”

She kisses me on the cheek and then starts walking toward her tent.  Kace is poking the fire and talking to Julius.  My mother walks by him, stops abruptly, then spins around and snaps Kace forward in a hug.

The forceful, jarring embrace catches him completely off guard.  Helena and I both snicker at the surprise on his face.  He hugs her back with a great deal of uncertainty etched in his eyes but keeps his embrace warm.

She finally draws back with her hands planted high on his shoulders.  She smiles appreciatively at him before retreating to her tent.

He walks over to me with his arms raised in confusion.

“What the hell was that about?”

Helena smiles as she walks away to rejoin Harrison.  I grin bashfully.

“She just wanted to show her appreciation for you.”

He shrugs.  “What did I do?”

“I told her something I should’ve said a long time ago.”

He seems to understand as he wraps his arms around me.  He bends to kiss me so gently.  Our fingers intertwine as he pulls me to our tent, abandoning the animated conversations sparked all around.

I give him a scandalous smirk and he twitches his finger at me.  I can’t help but giggle as he pulls me into his arms and kisses me gently on my forehead.

Exhausted from the previous night of sexcursions, I don’t give my heavy eyelids much of a fight.

CHAPTER 30

BLIND SPOTS

The swirling lights of the viewer taunt us with its power, letting us know a fade is eminent.  The heat around me forces me to my knees, leaving me gasping for air.  Kace is slowly starting to disappear from in front of my eyes, and I can feel the pain of every broken heart in the world.  This can’t be happening.

I rush to grab his hand, but it’s too late.  I scream at into the depths of the darkness holding me prisoner.

“NO!”

I jump free from my night terror, and Kace’s arms are wrapped around me before I even choke down my first breath.  He pulls me to him tighter, and his pounding heart matches the fervent pace of mine.

“What the hell is wrong?  Arena, are you okay?”

He pulls me back slightly to stare into my terrified eyes.  I launch myself back on him and my lips devour him.  He returns the needy, hungry kiss and my body wraps around his.  I’ve never in all my life felt so vulnerable as I do in this moment.

My heartbeat slowly steadies, but then a sick feeling falls over me.  I've never had such vivid nightmares.  Something is wrong.  Something is very wrong.

I pull back and scammer to pull on my shorts.  He tries to comfort me with his genuinely compassionate tone.

“Arena, it was just a dream, babe.  It’s okay.”

“No it’s not.  Something is about to happen.  I don’t want to lose you.”

He pulls me into his arms and coos in my ear.

“I’m not going anywhere.  I’ll always be here.”

I break free as I start to climb through the opening of the tent.  I speak with the dark knight known as fear staining my voice.

“Don’t say that.  No one ever knows.”

“Arena-”

He stops speaking as the distant, thunderous galloping horses start sounding more distinctively close.  One of the guards yells in panic.

“Everyone wake up!  We have company!”

Kace looks at me with a how-the-fuck-did-you-know look, and the gut-wrenching turmoil brewing inside me stirs violently.

My eyes focus on the sixty-plus shadow soldiers charging toward us.  Malfus lights a torch and sheds light on the faces of our mysterious night stalkers.

I gasp as Juniper surges to the front of the pack.  Malfus forcefully threatens the intruders.

“What are you doing here, Juniper?  You know the rules of the challenges.  The punishment for not following the law is death.”

Juniper smiles and chills spread over me in the most alarming manner when I see the secretive, fearless glare in his eyes.  Juniper is no longer the reserved and business-like man he was the last time.

His dark hair is dusted by the sands of the land and tousled on his head.  The devil dances in his eyes with a wild ambition and malicious intentions.  I don’t know what he’s up to, but it can’t be good.

“Oh, Malfus, it’s funny you mention the law.  That’s exactly why I’m here.  I’ve come to collect on the debt still owed to me, and my price remains the girl.”

Kace pulls me tighter to him in a protective motion.  I can feel a knot forming in the pit of my stomach.

These assholes still want me to be their childbearing sex slave.  Ugh!

Malfus scoffs, “We owe you nothing.  Our challenger won the match, and the council ruled in our favor.  There’s nothing you can legally do.”

Juniper smiles bigger and the ground beneath me wavers from his ominous glow.  “The rules of the challenge were broken when the pretty little girl stuck her hatchet in my challenger’s head.  That, in turn, made the challenge null and void; therefore, I am still owed a debt.

“The law states there can be no second challenge for the same debate, so I will collect her now.  I have many men ready to start producing warriors.  She’ll be a fine specimen indeed.”

The disgustingly foul men all start licking their lips and making obscene gestures toward me.  Years of inbreeding have left them mangled and deformed.  He must have left most of them outside during the challenge, because it wasn’t so obvious with the ones who joined him in the arena.

Juniper is the only one who doesn’t look like a festering pile of disgust, though he’s the biggest monster of them all - his handsome features only betraying the eyes of the ones who don’t see his inner depth.  The demon that lurks inside is far more hideous than the outer appearances of his ghoulish men.

Boils and sores crawl over his men’s bodies - a consequence for poor hygiene - and their teeth barely hang in their gums after suffering years of neglect and decay.  Each time one of them grunts toward me, I shiver, feeling appalled as bile rises to the back of my throat.

Kace scowls at them as he pulls me even tighter.  He steps in front of me and glares at them with an I’ll-fucking-kill-you stare.

Malfus’s anger grows as his voice gets louder.  “The council ruled the death as self defense for our challenger.  No rules were broken until your man attacked.  There is nothing you can do besides lick your wounds and leave.”

Juniper’s smile never wavers as he hops down from his horse, ignoring Malfus’s protest as if it bears no true weight.  He’s too confident, and I’m pretty damn scared right now.

The other mongrels follow his lead, dismounting their tired beasts as they start to stare us down.  Juniper’s eerie tone sends unwelcome chills all over me.

“That’s what the council says, but the council is not the true interpreter of the law; the viewer is.  I think you’ll learn I’m right on this matter.”

Everyone seems surprised by that, and my stomach knots even more.  Now Malfus is enraged.

“The viewer is not something mankind can control.  No one knows how the machine truly operates.  I do not feel threatened.  If you continue to try and take her, you will start a war, and you’ll be faded by the viewer you’re trying to use to threaten us.”

Juniper laughs and an even scarier smile spreads.  “Not exactly.  You see, I have acquired a wonderful addition to my library… Adler’s journal.”

Everyone gasps as he holds up the very old and fragile, leather-bound journal.  Juniper seems pleased by our startled reaction as he continues.

“I’ve learned a great deal about the machine which no one ever wanted anyone to know.  The machine views facts, not intentions.  We entered into a challenge, a member of your tribe killed my challenger, and a debt is still owed.  Those are all facts.  If a war breaks out, none of us will be faded for defending ourselves.  You and all of your men who fight will be considered the wrongful attackers.”

Malfus shakes his head.  “You keep forgetting one simple fact that ruins your hypothesis.  Your challenger retaliated against my challenger after the match was over.  That made our actions plausible.  That is a fact to man or machine.”

Juniper continues to taunt us while flashing his secretively daunting smile.  “To man, yes, it would seem as easy as that.  And that would be true, if your boy wonder hadn’t run out in front of the blade.  The viewer doesn’t understand noble intentions.  All it saw was a man diving in front of a blade.  That blade was not thrown at him, so it is not viewed as retaliation.  Facts are a very tricky thing, Malfus.”

Now everyone is worried and confused.  Kace speaks as though he’s been hit with a revelation.

“That was your plan all along.  You knew you wouldn’t win, so you had him force our hand.  You set this whole thing up.”

Juniper laughs.  “I keep forgetting how very clever you are.  It’s too bad you can only speculate.  Only something seen in process can be viewed a fact, anything else is simply speculation.  The machine has no emotional attachments or emotions at all.  It views.  That’s all.”

Malfus speaks with disbelief and fear replaces his anger.  “Why are you doing this?  Why do you want her so badly?”

Juniper seems angry now, possibly offended by what he apparently views as a rhetorical question.  Though none of us seems to know why.

“Once upon a time there was a brave chief named Luciman.  He was my father and the leader of the Mostiles.  Thanks to the much-loved Chief Clash, he was faded, along with all of our best men.

“Our tribe suffered for years, struggling to eat, drink, and live.  Inbreeding had plagued our clan for years, and my father was simply trying to purify the tribe.  Those women would have freed our tribe from our tainted sources.

“Justice Clash was cleverer than my father had given him credit for being.  You see, Justice figured out how the viewer worked moments before the faded war between our tribes.  My father had been a little more savage than Justice wanted him to be, and my father might have been working a little outside of the parameters set by the law.  Justice had warned Luciman to stop or it would lead to war.

“If you had charged the men that day, very few would have been faded.  The conflict dated back two years and took out everyone involved in the crimes Justice accused them of when he charged headlong into the thick of things first.  If you had charged, then it would have only gone back a few days and faded the men leading the war.  You would’ve lost as many men as we did that day.

“Justice was the only causality for your side.  Justice already had us banned from the competitions, making it impossible for us to reap any rewards to aide us in our time of need.  All of this was because Justice had two daughters, and he never wanted anything to happen to them.  He never wanted them to fall into the hands of men like my father.

“I wish I could ask for both of his beauties, but I’m worried the viewer would read that as greedy.  Instead, I am asking for the daughter who trained under him the most - the daughter he so obviously favored and doted upon.

“Our tribe still needs stronger warriors to repair the damage done, and I would find it a rather sweet twist of irony for a daughter of Justice Clash to be the first work horse.  Mind yourselves though; I plan to acquire the other one eventually.  If you fight us, the warriors will be faded.  That will leave your tribe and your lands uninhabited by anyone who can protest us.  That will just give us a better place to live and better women to breed with.  Either way, I’m a winner today.”

Harrison grips Helena tightly as Juniper glances toward her, his eyes undressing her as they already have me.

I look at my sister and then at then back at Kace, though I can only see his back due to his protective hold.  I know what I have to do.

Tears work their way to my eyelids, but I subdue them before they can drop, unwilling to give this monster any sadistic pleasure for his successful attempt to instill fear in me.

I step out from behind Kace, and he quickly grabs my hand in protest.

“What are you doing?” he almost screams.

Calming the storm and steadying my breath, I murmur, “I have to go with them.  If I don’t, everyone will be at risk.  You know I can’t let that happen.”

Tears threaten his eyes now, and my strength wavers at the sight of him being so vulnerable.  His voice is crackling as he objects.

“I can’t let this happen.  Arena, I just got you.  I can’t lose you now.  You have no idea what those monsters are going to do with you.”

Yes I do.

I know the depths of depravity my future with them holds - the debasing, diabolical plans their twisted minds are scheming even right now.  Though I’m sure I can’t fully grasp the true nature of the sadistic things they’re capable of, I know there will be many relentless nights of torture I’ll have to endure.  But I can’t lose Kace - not to the viewer.

Tears begin to escape, and the emotion forces my voice to crackle under the strain.

“You can’t do anything.  If you do, the viewer will fade us at the point of conflict.  It will take us back to the challenge.  Last night and this morning will have never happened, at least not anywhere but on paper.  I can’t lose those memories.  I won’t let the viewer take anything else from me.  I love you, and I refuse to forget that I finally found the courage to tell you.  We will cease to exist, and nothing would have ever become of us.  Our story will end before it began.”

He pulls me to him and kisses me.  His hands grip tighter as alien hands begin pulling me away.  Kace lunges to get me, but now all of my tribe is surrounded by the filthy mongrels as they push him back, restraining him as he curses them.

Kace screams for me, but I don’t put up a fight when the monsters drag me over to Juniper.  With their overwhelming numbers, the Mostiles are able to hold Kace and the rest of the Shaylan back.

Juniper’s eyes are solely fixed on me, studying me and regarding me more intently, as he continues with his eerie tone.

“Absolutely perfect.  There’s not a flaw on you.”

My mind races for a way to get out of this without fighting.  Inspiration - or desperation, rather- finally strikes.  I can hear my nervousness showing itself as I speak.

“You’ve been planning this for a while.  This wasn’t just a spur of the moment surprise.  You set Jespin up from the beginning.  You knew who I was before the competition.  You raised the price so he wouldn’t be able to continue his bartering in secrecy.  You knew eventually he would be found out, and the payments would stop.”

Juniper laughs.  “I have no idea what you’re talking about, girl.”

I continue with more confidence.  “I think you know exactly what I’m talking about.  In the beginning, we didn’t notice that much.  We lost one bushel of goods and five pounds of meat.  Then it kept getting worse little by little until the entire clan was starving.

“Once he was hooked on your product, you kept raising the price.  You wanted him to be found out.  Then you got him out of the camp before the competition.  You wanted to make sure we couldn’t hand him over.  The law would’ve only allowed you to take him into servitude.

“That hole under the wall was tunneled in from the outside.  We had thought those traps were set up for someone poaching our land, but it had been to give your men time to escape, should they be found trespassing.  Jespin met you out there with the food, and you came and left as you pleased.  That’s how you knew so much about us.

“Then all of our men came down with chicken pox just weeks before the competition.  Our camp has always been disease free until then.  My sister and I had contracted the disease outside of the walls when we were younger, and you knew that too.  You wanted me in the competition.  If I hadn’t been there, you wouldn’t have been able to tell anyone you knew of my abilities without exposing yourself.  It’s so obvious now.  With Jespin being on the lam, you were able to ask for something else instead.

“You’ve planned and plotted this entire thing for months now - down to the most miniscule detail.  And it doesn’t stop with me.  You know my tribe will most likely come for me, which is why you chose me.  You don’t care about breeding one woman.  You care about everything we have.  You want it all.  This is just the next phase of your plan, and you’re using the viewer as a weapon to acquire an empire you don’t deserve.”

Everyone from my tribe exchanges worried glances, realizing how right I am.  Juniper smiles, seeming to be impressed with my detective skills.

“Clever girl.  You’re like your father in more ways than I realized.  Unfortunately, what you’ve just rattled off is nothing more than conspiracy theories.  It’s not facts viewed by the viewer.  I didn’t have a clue you were as phenomenal as you are as far as the machine is concerned.  And should your tribe start a war, well, that’s just a happy accident.  Neither my men nor I were ever engaged with the jailbreak for Jespin either.  You can only speculate to such theories, they cannot be facts unless seen by both parties.”

Gotcha bitch.  Now it’s my turn to smile as I taunt him.

“No one here ever said anything about Jespin being in jail.  We certainly never spoke of him breaking out of jail to anyone outside the tribe.  That reflects weakness, and no one wanted to look weak at the competition.  The only way you could have known is if you had been a party to such.  Now that’s a fact you overlooked.”

Juniper snarls at me, not seeming so condescending anymore as he realizes he just slipped.

“You little bitch.  You don’t get it.  I can admit to whatever I want to.  The viewer doesn’t have ears; it isn’t listening.  Hence the name the viewer, not the listener.  Your pointless game has done nothing but piss me off.  The facts viewed still stand.”

My mind flashes back to the story of Kace’s brother threatening war.  The viewer does listen.  It’s programmed to understand any threat of war, just like all the stories we’ve heard growing up have indicated.  We’ve just been assuming the war had to take place.  But if war is eminent because of one’s spoken intentions, the machine will recognize that as well.

I smile menacingly.  “You’re using the viewer like a weapon as a means to win wars.  You’re using the viewer’s blind spots to sway the outcomes in your favor, are you not?”

Anger flees his eyes as the devil dances freely in them with careless abandon.  He laughs now.

“If you must hear it out loud, then yes, I am.  The viewer has become my own personal toy - a rather useful tool in my plan to eradicate the opposing tribes.  Your tribe will become mine.”

He laughs confidently as he points to Kace with such casual indifference.  Then he continues with his mocking tone.

“That boy won’t just let you go, and those men will follow him.  It won’t do you any good to hear it.  Like I said, the viewer doesn’t have ears, it can only read actions.”

I look up at the swirling lights of the viewer.  I scream loudly as I force it to take notice.

“Do you hear that?  He’s using you like a weapon of mass destruction.  He’s backing us into a corner so he can threaten us with your power.  You’ve become his weapon, and he’ll go to war with our tribe in order to obtain his true object of desire.  He’s more vicious than any dictator I’ve read about, and more evil than the terrorists you’ve faded in the past.

“Are you really going to continue to let this happen?  All you’ve ever done is eradicate threats, but now you’ve become the threat.  He knows too much about you, and he’s using you to rule mercilessly.  Many will suffer, and many will cease to exist if he is allowed to continue.  Is this really what you want?”

Juniper and his men start laughing at me.  Juniper speaks through his chuckles.

“What exactly are you trying to accomplish, little girl?  The machine cannot hear you, nor does it care about anything you have to say.  It’s completely impartial, and it follows the facts of the circumstances it can view.”

They continue laughing while nothing changes, the devil’s artwork proving me a fool in my vain attempt.  Then suddenly their laughter halts as the lights of the viewer begin to glow brighter than ever.  They reach the point of nearly blinding as they rip fully across the night sky, tearing through the clouds.

While all eyes are on the devil’s artwork, I race back to rejoin Kace.  His arms grip me in an almost painful, I’m-never-fucking-letting-you-go-again embrace as the Mostiles gather around their leader to watch the peculiar sight

A hollow whistling erupts with enough force to pierce the ears of the dead.  The whistling grows into a deafening roar, and we all begin covering our ears in response.  Some of us are even forced to our knees from the brutal screeching.

The lights suddenly spark into an explosive burst as the sound fades, the viewer extinguishing itself into the night.

It’s over.  All of it.

The lights have vanished from the sky.  The viewer no longer has a presence or bears a threat, but the evil in the air still lurks.

Everyone looks at each other in disbelief and confusion.  Whispers erupt as everyone tries to assess what has just happened.

Juniper grins salaciously, the devil now tap-dancing wildly in the brute’s eyes.  I feel even sicker as he glares at me.

“Well, I think the girl just made the viewer fade itself.  Isn’t this a wonderful turn of events.  Now I can just take it all without having to wait.”

I threaten him.  “You know you don’t stand a chance against our warriors.  Your men are weaker.”

He laughs, his hand swatting away my words of warning as though they’re foolish nonsense cluttering up the air.

“You’re right, but they won’t be expecting us.  You see, I have the element of surprise… thanks to you.  And now there’s nothing to stop me.  Right now you’re gravely outnumbered, and your tribe is nothing more than a flock of lambs without a shepherd.”

Though he might have the draw on us, he doesn’t know the secrets of our tribe’s wall.  He’ll never get by it without sacrificing his life, which will get him nowhere.

Johnny runs up and whispers to me as the men start closing around us.  “So what’s the rest of your plan?”

I’m stupefied.  What the hell?  Why does he think this was my plan?

“Do you really think I meant for the viewer to be faded?  No one has ever thought it to be possible, and you think that was my plan?” I squeak out.  “I thought it would fade him and his men.  I never dreamed it would fade itself.”

Johnny looks terrified upon hearing the absence of my confidence.

He almost whimpers, “Then what do we do now?”

A smirk plays on Kace’s lips, as if he’s enjoying the new turn of events.  “Now… we fight.”

He grabs a sword from the ground and tosses it to Julius.  Kendall starts swirling hatchets around threateningly, her poised stamina outweighing her timid eyes.

My mother grabs up a spear, surprising me with the fact she seems to know what she’s doing.  Malfus grabs a sword, quickly stepping out to put himself in front of Mom.

Kace starts weaving knives between his fingers, and I grab a bow.  Helena and Harrison arm themselves with crossbows, and we take our stand.

We’re severely outnumbered, and the odds aren’t in our favor.  They have sixty or more men and we have twenty-five.

Kace nods at me as I light the end of the arrows on fire.  I launch three arrows at once and all three are gruesomely planted in the men of the Mostiles.  Then they swarm us like ants to a picnic.

Clanking swords rattle my ears, battle cries shrilly strike me with their pitch, and determined grunts follow each attack.

One man tries to grab me from behind, but I elbow him in the gut and throw my hand up to break his nose.  He falls backwards, the devastating blow I delivered having knocked him unconscious.

I know we won’t be able to hold on long with the numbers they possess.  I can see Kace scrambling to free Malfus from two of the men.  Harrison is taking on five men who have grabbed Helena, and he rips her free before I have to intervene.

My eyes finally land on a smiling Juniper, the one who has to die if we’re to get out of this alive.

I’m so sick of that fucking smile.

With fury and vengeance dripping from my eyes, I charge him with reckless abandon.  I dive between a man’s legs and throw a knife into his back.  I keep slicing through the hoard of scum until I finally reach Juniper.

He smiles at me.  “Well then, it seems I get my chance at a Clash tonight.”

I smile back, the dark bitch inside me begging to come out and play.

“It appears so.  Although, you may regret seeking such a thing when I’m finished.”

Without wasting another breath, he lunges at me with a sword in his hands.  I catch the blade between my two knives and throw my leg up to kick him in the stomach.  He stumbles backward with a forced grunt, and I smirk a little prematurely.

I can hear more horses galloping toward us now, making my smile fall flat and dread takes the place of my momentary reprieve.  I feel more fear spread through me as the tromping beasts halt and feet stumble to the ground.

I can’t see them, but I hear their swords unsheathing, their battle cries wailing, and their fight emerging as they join the battle behind me.

Now we’re even more outnumbered.  Juniper charges me again, disrupting my inner panic, and this time his blade grazes my side, thanks to my distracted frame of mind.

I grab it to see blood on my hands, and sharp stabs of pain sting my waist with a delayed reaction.  I’m not going to let him win though.

My eyes drift to Kace and his eyes widen when they finally catch sight of me at the same time, as though he’s been desperately seeking me.

He’s racing toward me, but there are just too many blocking his path.  My eyes turn back to face Juniper just as he charges again, and I taste blood in my mouth.

A ringing echoes through my ears, and I find myself falling to the ground.  His sword is raised high, poised for the final blow, meaning I only have one more chance.

I hurl a knife at him within a blink, and it spirals through the short distance, finding his black heart.  He drops to the ground and stares at the blade lodged his chest.  I scramble back to my feet and watch the life leave his eyes.

I turn back to help my tribe against the new invaders, but I suddenly find myself relieved instead of panicked.  The Mostiles are subdued and lying face down in the dirt.  Warriors from the competition are everywhere.  They came to help us.

Kace starts rushing toward me, but he sees Julienne coming to my side and stops.  With obvious reluctance, he gives me a moment to thank our leading hero.

“Well, it seems we came just in time, although I really think you could have handled the mongrel pack yourselves,” he says, a proud gleam in his eyes.

A very uncharacteristic compulsion takes over and I hug him.  He seems a little shocked from my unexpected embrace.  I back away to see him smiling and blushing slightly. Then Kace finally decides to show less cordialness, and he jerks me to him.

“Thank you Julienne,” Kace murmurs as his lips pull away from mine.  “I don’t know how you knew we needed you, but you couldn’t have shown up at a better time.  I don’t know how we can ever repay you.”

Brutus thuds across the ground in his beastly manner and joins our conversation.  His gruff voice is surprisingly warm, and I smile when he takes pride in their successful rescue.

“You don’t owe us a thing.  The viewer is gone because of you.  We no longer have that threat looming over our heads.  I think there will be fewer worries of war now that people can easily defend themselves.  We could hear you yelling from a mile away.  How did you know it would fade itself?”

I shrug, dumbfounded how greatly everyone is seeming to overestimate my intentions.

“I didn’t.  That was actually unexpected.  I thought it would fade the Mostiles,” I say with more casualness than I would have thought possible.

Then a stranger joins our conversation.  She’s very lean with pale blonde hair framing her heart-shaped face.  Her hands are bound with leather ties, and her timid stance leaves her to shiver every time someone gets too close.  Even though she looks so frail and fragile, she’s very pretty.

Her shaky, soft voice answers the question I could not.

“It faded itself because the girl forced it to see its biggest blind spot; itself.  It faded itself in present time before it became the threat she spoke of.”

Kace swirls around a knife and frees her hands in one swift slice.  He speaks curiously but softly so as not to frighten her - given her ready-to-run posture.

“Who are you?”

She smiles at him gratefully as she rubs her wrists that have been stung from the tight restraints.

“My name is Keira.  I’m one of the guardians for Adler’s journals.  I’m a descendent of one of the observers - the group of scientists that aided Adler in his research.  Adler didn’t want the journals to fall into the wrong hands.  He spent the remainder of his life trying to understand what the machine was doing and documenting each change.

“He worried someone would use his knowledge to try to control the machine through its blind spots.  Apparently, his concern was warranted.  My tribe is…”  She takes a breath as she changes the tense of her sentence from present to past.  “Was very small; only twenty of us.

“We kept ourselves secret from the rest of the world.  The Mostiles stumbled across our camp by complete accident.  They slaughtered most of my tribe as if they were cattle.  He only kept me alive to force me into servitude.  Since there were so few of us, a war was not viewed, and no fade deemed necessary.

“Juniper came across the journals we had been entrusted with, and there was no stopping him.  He made me translate the cryptic code by threatening to kill my sister.  She’s only ten, and I couldn’t let them-”

Her voice breaks off as it crackles beneath the guilt and fear she has been living with.  I see Brutus wipe his face as if there are tears invading his cheeks - even his tears are monstrous in size.

Johnny walks over with a little girl wrapped in a blanket.  I can only assume she’s the sister Keira was referring to.

Johnny’s eyes are feather soft as he speaks to her compassionately.  “She’s perfectly safe now, and so are you.  You’re welcome to come back with us.”

Keira scoops the young girl up as tears of relief flood her eyes.

Malfus walks up to reiterate the offer.  “Indeed.  You’re more than welcome to join our tribe and gain our protection.”

Finally realizing hell’s gates have been opened and she’s been pulled free, Keira sobs in relief.  She doesn’t try to speak, but she nods with appreciation flowing from her eyes.

Johnny tries to hug her, but she’s scared of his touch and quickly escapes his grasp while shivering violently, a reaction someone faces when they’ve been brutalized the way I can only imagine she has been.

His eyes soften and fill with pity as he stares at her with such gentle affection.  Malfus speaks with Keira and her sister, careful not to spook either of them as he explains where we live.

I turn to Julienne when I can’t bear to see the tragic faces on them any longer.  “How did you know we needed you?”

He smiles as SaShante struts up proudly, shocking me to no end that she’s here.

“I told them those goons were following you,” she says, a sassy tone to her satisfied voice.

Brutus and Julienne both laugh at her cocky display.  I pick her up and hug her tightly.  Julienne adds to her comment.

“She insisted we make sure nothing happened.  It was a little hard to say no to her.  She also made us carry her and Eliza along so she could be certain we did as she instructed.  You made such an impact on the rest of the men that, when we told them what we were doing, they followed us as well.  We started tracking you, and realized you really were being followed.  We rushed our pace when we heard you yelling at the viewer.”

I smile affectionately at the young SaShante.  “You’re an amazing little girl.”

She shrugs.  “Yeah, I know.”

We all laugh at her innocent candor.

Then I look back to Keira who seems to be relaxing somewhat around Johnny and Malfus.  “Why didn’t it fade at the point of conflict instead of present time?  And why didn’t time reset completely?  Usually it fades the inventor of any weapon.”

She controls her sobs long enough to explain.  “The viewer was not created to be a weapon.  It was created to be a tool of vision.  Therefore, it saw no reason to backdate the fade to the point of origin.

“I can’t be certain why it didn’t back track to the date when Juniper seized control of it, but I think it was confused.  It read its actions as justifiable, given its programming, but it also read what you said to be true.  It heard Juniper’s confession, and I think it just became overloaded with contradicting variables, causing it to implode.  I would have never thought it possible, but I dare not question it.”

Johnny laughs.  “Arena overwhelmed the viewer.  Unbelievable.  You’re so complicated even the machines don’t know what to do when they’re around you.”

Everyone laughs slightly as we celebrate the demise of the viewer.  Kace looks over to me with a free smile.

“There’s nothing holding us back now.  We can just be.”

I smile as I kiss him.  “That sounds perfect to me.”

Julienne walks over to his horse as the others start setting up camp and indulging in the whiskey we acquired from the competition.  I walk over to him and speak earnestly.

“I think this belongs to you.”

His eyes soften as I hand him back the medallion he had given me.  He looks at me confused.  I continue in my sincere tone.

“My father was known for many things, but mostly he was known for his uncanny ability to read a man’s character.  He knew instantly what kind of man you were by looking into your eyes.

“You told me he gave you this.  He wouldn’t have given something so special away unless he saw something truly remarkable in you.  You listened to a small girl because she was worried.  You traveled far out of your way to give her peace of mind.  You led an army of men that saved our lives tonight.  You told me you had lost your way, but I think you found it today and proved my father right for his faith in you.”

Julienne smiles faintly as he stares at the medallion.  He sounds like he’s slightly choking on emotion as tears well up in his eyes.

“Thank you for that, Arena.  It means more to me to hear than you know.”

I wince slightly as my side reminds me of the injury I sustained.  I look down at fresh blood dripping from the sad excuse for a makeshift bandage I had put together in a rush.

Julienne steadies me as my body wavers.  He examines the wound and the blood now staining his hands.  He pulls out a small, familiar tin can.

He smirks as he speaks softly.  “Here, try this.  I hear it’s pretty good stuff.  Just apply some and wrap it up.  You’ll feel brand new by morning.”

I laugh a little as I accept the medicine and instructions I had given him.  I nudge him playfully as I start the application.

“Thanks,” I murmur.

We rejoin the group, and I sit down beside my beautiful man.  He puts his arm around me as everyone talks excitedly about the competition and the viewer.  He pulls back when he feels the loose bandage on my side.

He studies it with distaste etching in his face and secures a better bandage in its place.  His eyes show my wound all of his attention, and I feel the heat of his breath teasing my neck.

He’s even hot when he’s playing doctor… not the dirty doctor either - although I’m good with that.

Kace leans over and kisses me once he finishes his work and his eyes come back to catch mine.

“I love you.”

I smile as I kiss him before returning his affections.  “I love you.”

Then Eliza walks over as she speaks quietly.  “With the viewer gone, I was wondering if that offer for us to join your tribe still stood?”

I smile very large as I turn to face her.  “Of course it still stands.”

Malfus smiles as he speaks to her.  “We would be honored for you to join us.”

She smiles as she turns back to me.  “SaShante really wants to be a warrior one day, and I feel she would be wise to study under your tutelage.”

SaShante scoots over, eager to hear my response.  I feel myself almost blushing from the adoration as I respond.

“I would love to help her grow her technique.  She’ll be a great warrior one day.”

She rushes in to hug me, and her mother laughs.  Brutus walks over rubbing his head with a bit of mock anxiety swelling in his eyes.  His gruff voice is trying to attempt humor.

“With that girl’s drive and instincts, she will be a rather fierce competitor.  I hope I’m out of the game by then.”

Julius throws his hands up as if in surrender.  “You can count me out.  I’m certainly not helping with the training.  My wounded ego may never recover from the beatings I’ve taken from Arena.  I’m certainly not giving another girl the chance to beat and bruise me.”

Everyone laughs at their comical comments.  SaShante is on cloud nine now.

We won the competition, and the Mostile threat has been eliminated.  The remaining Mostiles will spend the rest of their days locked up at the council’s prison until the death sentence is carried out.  It’s a day no one will ever forget, and that’s a fact.

CHAPTER 31

A NEW TIME

When we arrive back at home, we’re greeted by the inquisitive and excited faces of the tribe.  Everyone is shocked when we tell them about the challenge and the viewer’s fade.  Our new members are graciously accepted by the other members of the tribe.

SaShante is instantly loved for her part in our rescue.  No one had ever thought it possible to live a life without the viewer hovering over us.

“It’s beautiful,” I murmur while staring up at the unobstructed view of the sky.

Almost everyone is doing the same - taking in the twinkling stars that seem to glow only white and silver now.  For so long, purple and blue have tainted the skies by day and by night.

“It is,” Kace sighs as he too takes it all in, soaking up the air as though even it’s different.

I suppose it is different.  It’s not weighted by fear, dread, and constant panic of joining the faded.  More importantly, it’s no longer terrorizing us by threatening to take the ones we love, along with our memories of them.

From the corner of my eye, I see Kace smirk as his eyes shift back to me, prompting me to meet his gaze.

“Do you still wish to announce a courtship now that we’re not under the influence of the Greyhorn air?”

I snuggle into his arms while keeping my head tilted in order to stare into his eyes.  “Do you still wish to be in a courtship?”

He pulls me tighter and kisses me fervently.  I can feel my breath growing heavy from the heated moment.  He pulls back smiling as his eyes dance with excitement.

“Always,” he says in his smoldering, sexy-as-hell tone.

“I love you, and I told you I want to give you all of me.”

His lips find mine and offer them refuge.  I curl into the arms of the only man I’ve ever kissed, ever slept with, and ever loved.  He picks me up and my legs wrap around his waist as he carries me away from the crowd.

I giggle slightly as he fumbles with the door to the cabin because he refuses to release me.  I laugh a little louder when he tosses me on the bed and jumps in beside me.  His lips maneuver magically and bring my blood to a welcome boil.

A knock interrupts our heated moment and we both huff as we pry ourselves from our entanglement.  Kace struts over to unlatch the door.

Johnny smiles as he and Julius walk in.

Johnny teases me slightly.  “You look like someone just took the last piece of pie off your plate.”

Oh, you mean little man.

I just make a very childish face while sticking my tongue out at him.  Julius snickers as he tosses our bags gently on the bed.  He leans against the wall as he speaks to Kace.

“Malfus elected me bagboy it appears, and he gave me gimpy to help out with distribution.”

Johnny scowls.  “Hey!”

Kace and I both chuckle and then he turns to follow them out.  I can hear muffled voices through the door, but I can’t hear what’s being said.  He walks back in to my face full of curiosity.

“What was that about?”

He tries to stifle a smirk but his eyes betray him.  What’s he up to?

“I just had some business to discuss,” he says very transparently.

He’s so full of shit right now.

“Business?”

He laughs a little.  “Yes, business, as in none of yours,” he jokes.

Asshole.  I just sigh as I crawl into the bed and strip out of my normal clothes.  His eyes quickly rise and fall as I stand almost bare in front of him.  I roll my eyes.

“I’m just getting ready for bed,” I say playfully.

He smirks as he teases, “Well I hope you weren’t intending on sleeping in the bed.”

Game on, Mr. Sexy.  “Sleep wasn’t on the agenda.  I was planning on ravaging you once you joined me, unless you object.”

His eyes widen and he strips free from his shirt.  His lips engulf mine, and life around me moves at an impossibly slow pace before halting all together.  Nothing else matters when I’m with him.  Nothing else matters as long as I have him.

His hands slide up my sides with a scorching burn.  His lips caress my skin with their soft, velvety touch, and I’m lost in his love.

I wake up to feel the sun shining on me, and for once, I don’t feel the dread of seeing the viewer’s lights.  The devil’s artwork has lost its place in the sky, and life finally makes sense… sort of.

I open my eyes and a smile emerges.  Kace is still asleep, and his soft arms are pulling me into his strong chest.  His even breaths are so perfectly executed, and his chest rises and falls steadily to keep a hypnotizing rhythm.

He finally stirs.  His eyes stay closed as a smirk reveals itself.

“Are you watching me sleep?”

How’d he do that?  “How did you know?”

He laughs as his eyes blink open.  “I could feel the most amazing eyes in all of the world staring at me.  It’s a very powerful feeling.  One I don’t mind being subjected to.”

I laugh lightly.  “I couldn’t help myself.”

His arms tighten around me as he pulls me closer and kisses my forehead.  He stares into my eyes and a new smile takes form.

“I have plans for us today.”

“What plans do you have?” I ask mildly.

“Get ready and I’ll show you.”

I smirk deviously.  “I might have plans of my own.”

He laughs at my suggestive tone, and then he bolts from the bed as if I’m contagious.  He throws on a pair of pants before I even have time to admire his perfect physique.

He pulls out a pair of pants and a shirt from my bag and tosses them to me despite the silent protest my eyes are giving him.

I huff slightly as I sit up and dust off the early morning rejection while he starts the coffee.

“Why are we in such a hurry?”

“I told you, I have plans for us,” he replies vaguely with a mysterious smirk playing on his lips.

I can’t help but smile at his odd amusement.  I humor him and go along with his haste.

While he packs a bag, I quickly lower myself into the tub of water I’ve just readied.  I feel the water rising as he joins me in the warm, wet haven.  I smile with my back turned to him as I speak.

“I thought we were in a hurry?”

His lips trail across my shoulders and back.  I feel the chills littering my back and the fire racing free.  His heated breath finds its way to my neck, and more scrumptious chills emerge, leaving me hopelessly trapped by his spellbinding touch.

He finally answers my question, though I’ve almost forgotten that I asked one.

“We don’t have to leave right away.”

I smile as I turn to straddle him in the tub.  “Have your plans changed?”

He smirks as his hands run up and down my sides.  “No, but I think we can add this to the agenda.”

He pauses as he inspects the side wounded by the fight.  I pull his chin up to force his eyes to connect with mine.

“I’m fine.  It barely hurts today.”

He flinches as his hands trail over the still marred flesh.  I wince slightly under the now stinging touch, and he quickly moves his hand.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.  It just stung a little from the touch.”

His eyes are weighted by burden, angst, and guilt.  What the hell does he feel guilty for?

Just moments ago he was bearing childlike excitement, then he was steaming the water in the tub, and now he feels guilty.  Oh good grief.  We’ve barely been awake thirty minutes, and he’s already flipped the script three times.

And he says I’m moody.

I kiss him to try to stop his unjustifiable guilt.

“I told you I’m fine.  You didn’t mean to hurt me,” I murmur reassuringly.

He sighs out loudly.  “It’s not just that.  I meant I’m sorry I didn’t get there before he did this.  In all the chaos, I lost sight of you.  One minute you were by my side and the next it felt like you were miles away.  I didn’t think-”

I press my lips against his to silence his angst-ridden fears for what might have been.

“We’re here, together, and there’s nothing in the world I want more than for you to just go back to being Mr. Sexy As Hell in the tub please.

He snickers a little and Lady Lust is joined by relief.  Whew!

His lips reconnect with mine and Lady Lust cracks her fingers before taking over me completely.  The sloshing water gives us no pause.  I hear it slapping the floor in spurts, but that doesn’t stop me from devouring him.  His hands grip my hair and my back as the water continues to protest.

His teeth skate over my neck, and I can feel the world around me fading from my mind.  My adrenaline attacks me, and my body revels in the glory that is Kaceton Brice.

We both indulge in our strongest weaknesses… each other.

We finally manage to get dressed, and Kace bandages my side.  His eyes are burdened again, meaning I have to break him free from his troublesome thoughts.

“So where are we going?”

A smile instantly invades his gorgeous face.  He smirks as he twitches his finger.

“A surprise isn’t a surprise if you know the destination and the scheme.”

I laugh a little.  “Scheme?  What scheme?”

“My scheme.  I plan to seize the day… starting right now.  Malfus has granted the entire tribe two days off and I don’t intend to waste a minute.”

He doesn’t give me time to continue my inquisition.  He grabs my hand and pulls me to the door.  I continue laughing as I lag behind.

He drags me to the edge of the woods and I follow him as we inch past the traps.

“Should we be worried about stray predators still lingering in here?”

He looks around and then at me.  “They did a thorough sweep of the entire tribe while we were gone.  There were two more cats killed and three boars.  They didn’t find anything on their last sweep so we should be okay.  I’m armed.”

I roll my eyes.  I never get to be the hero when he’s around.

We hurriedly sprint through the woods, and I quickly realize where we’re heading.  I smile as I ruin the surprise.

“We’re going to your spot?”

He smirks.  “Very perceptive.  There’s something I never got to show you the last time we came out here.  I didn’t know at the time that you were the one responsible for the most beautiful part.”

I tilt my head curiously.  “I’m responsible for what exactly?  The first time I ever saw this place was with you.”

I’m rushed by the smell of the fresh water.  The tweets of fearless birds echo through the meadow.  I gaze at the beauty I had only briefly enjoyed once.  Kace smiles as he points to a tree with an apple perched on the side.  It almost looks as if someone has secured them.  There are three more just like it on surrounding trees.

“What is all this?” I ask curiously.

He laughs as he walks over and pulls a bow from a bush.  He hands me a quiver loaded with four arrows.  I almost roll my eyes.

“You want to train?  That’s you’re idea of seizing the day?”

He laughs a little more as he points to the closest apple.

“I want to have fun.  You love shooting the bow, and I happen to enjoy watching you.  Just go with it.”

I roll my eyes.  “Stationary apples?  Don’t you think we’re working in reverse?”

He smirks before his lips find mine.  He draws back and steps out of the way as he speaks.

“If it’s so easy, then it shouldn’t take you too long.”

Why does he want me to do this?  Oh just humor him and shut up.

I lift the bow and pull the string to my face.  I stare down the line of the arrow and release it once I’ve aimed.  The apple is hit in the center, and I take aim at the next one.  One by one, I eliminate the still targets.

Once I finish, we walk over to retrieve the arrows.  I pull out the first one to see a note stuck on the arrow; apparently, it had been hiding behind the apple.  There’s one word: You.  I stare at it curiously.

“You?  What’s this?”

He just shrugs as we walk over to the next arrow.  Skeptically, I pull it out and another note appears.  Again, there’s one word: Me.

I continue my retrieval since he refuses to give me any inkling as to what these foolish notes are supposed to mean.  I pull out the third and there’s another note with one word: Will.

I almost scowl at the random selection of words that make no sense, but I’m distracted by a scratching sound that’s almost too muted to hear.  I turn around to see a sea of gerangilum daisies popping up everywhere - my flowers all over this beautiful getaway.

I gasp at the abundance of them.  I’ve only ever seen handfuls at a time, and now here are hundreds all in one place, and blooming beautifully at the morning hour.  They usually bloomed so much later.

I stare at him with eyes full of wonder.  “How are there so many?”

He shrugs.  “I don’t know.  I wanted to show you this so badly, but our day was interrupted.  Then I found out that this flower was your creation, and I knew it couldn’t have been any more serendipitous.”

My lips plant themselves on his, and he returns the soft embrace.  He pulls back slowly.

“Get your last arrow.”

I smile as I walk over to the last apple.  My heart almost stops as I pull out the final arrow that holds the last piece of the puzzle.  One word that clearly puts the other three into perspective, and I’m speechless as my mind fully processes the last word; marry.

Slowly, the words rotate and rattle through my head until unifying and forming a question.  I read the words in order to myself.

Will you marry me?  Oh my gosh.

I look away from the papers in my hand to see Kace kneeling with a bouquet of gerangilum daisies in his hand.  He smiles as he takes my right hand and softly kisses the back of it.

His eyes are nervous but excited.  His smile is anxious but eager.  His mouth shows fear while also holding a certain giddiness.  His tone is worried as well as confident.

“Arena, we’ve gone through more than most people face in a lifetime.  We’ve done the unthinkable, played with fire, broken a hell of a lot of rules, and achieved the impossible together.  I know there will never be anyone else in the world that I can love more than I love you.  I want you and need you more than I need anything else in life.  I could live without air before I could live without you.  I want my day to begin and end with you for the rest of my life, and I want the best day of my life to be each day I’m with you.”

He takes a deep breath as he summons up a little more courage.  “Marry me?”

I sink to the ground beside him as my unhinged jaw claps from the impact once my knees hit the soft grass.  I stare around at the buds starting to draw back up, abandoning our moment.  I look at him hopelessly lost and forever entranced.

“You want to marry me?” I squeak out, disbelief flowing freely from my lips.

He sits and pulls me into his lap.  His arms wrap around me as he drops the bouquet of flowers that are the only ones still in full bloom.  He smiles adoringly at me.

“Yes.  I want to marry you.  That’s kind of why I’m asking,” he teases.

I’m stunned into silence.  He wants to seize the day, but this isn’t what I thought… this is just so…. I’m so lost right now.

More anxiety fills his face as my drawn out pause toys with his insecurities.  He nudges me slightly, prodding for any expression besides shock to come over my face.

“I’m really hoping you’re sitting here planning the wedding in your head and not debating whether or not you really do love me,” he says with nervously forced humor.

“There’s no doubt that I love you.”

He brushes my hair from my burning cheek as he speaks softly.  “Then what do you say?”

I swallow hard, and all my emotions huddle up to fight for a position in the answer.  I finally stare into those perfect blue eyes that have held me captive since the first day I met him.

My heart starts climbing up my throat as my whole body trembles.  I feel the rush of adrenaline swarming me, and I feel the excitement flooding me throughout.  I smile as a tear escapes.

“Yes.  Yes… I will.”

He exhales a painfully trapped breath, and his arms pull me into his embrace.  I can feel the fire consuming me as the spinning world around me dances in exuberance.  His lips engage mine in a tango, and we fall onto the lush grass.  He pulls at my shirt and the cold ground sends a tremor through me.  He smiles as he leans over me.

“I love you, Arena.”

“I love you, Kace.”

The fire consumes us as our fervent need for each other takes over, filling me to the brim with complete, eternal bliss.

A DARK PATH

The blob of blubber rolls over to his back, gasping for air as the hooded men toss him from the wagon.  He's been bound, gagged, and starved for days on the trip he never wanted to take.

He'd been sitting quietly in the bar of a market when they'd thrown a bag over his head and shoved him to the ground, forcing his hands behind his back as they tied them to his feet.  Somehow, they lifted his obese body from the ground and tossed him into their captivity.

He's been alone with their whispers, nothing he could ever make out.  His many questions have all been left unanswered, leaving him fearing the worst.

Malfus, he thinks.  Malfus is behind this.  That son of a bitch.

It's not the hand of Malfus, the good Shaylan chief, he should fear.  It's one far more able of grasping evil.

"Do you know why you're here?" a man asks from the clutches of darkness.

Unable to see his face, the fat man wobbles to his knees and squints into the shadows, his eyes searching for some semblance of at least a silhouette.

"No," he shivers out when his eyes remain unable to find a shape beyond the darkness.

Sweat beads on his brow and soaks his hair, back, and various other places of his plump figure.  He squints more, but to no avail.  The man is too well masked by the darkest corner, the light not finding one section of his body.

"You're here because I have a job for you; one I'm sure you'll be glad to take."

Obviously, the pompous man hunched on all fours is a little baffled by this revelation.  He had been brought here against his will to be offered a job?  Something doesn’t seem right about this.

"What job?" he asks warily.

"Stand to your feet and ask me that question while looking like a man rather than a cowardly animal with his tail tucked between his legs," the shadowy voice demands, sending more of a chill through the already frosted night air.

He scrambles to his feet, exhaustion and fatigue forcing him to stagger several times in his attempt.  It was a long journey with no food, water, or sanity on the trail.

"What job?" he asks again, his voice breaking in the middle to show his nerves.

"Better, though you still lack a spine it seems," the hidden man scrutinizes, and then sighs as if in disappointment before continuing.  "I suppose I can't be too choosy.  I need you to attack the Shaylan.  With the viewer gone, a war can and will be effective.  I want their heads on a stake and their women in my company.  I want you to lead this rebellion with the very skilled men I've assembled, Jespin."

Stupefied by this proposal, Jespin's lip trembles.  Attack the Shaylan?  That's absurd and quite frankly, it's suicide.

"Their walls are impenetrable.  The skills of their warriors are unmatched and unfathomable.  There is no way we can attack successfully."

"We?" the dark voice says.  "Not we.  You can and will attack, and you'll get your vengeance along the way.  Behind those walls lies an abundance of self-righteous men who, together, believe they are stronger than any other group.  Prove them wrong.  Use their strongest weakness against them."

"What weakness?" Jespin mumbles between his lips that are trembling all the more.

"Their compassion," he says in one quick breath.  "I know the perfect way to draw them out.  You'll be able to kill Malfus, redeem yourself a bit.  There are over a hundred men you'll have at your disposal, more if necessary.  Do you accept?"

A wealth of skilled fighters, the possibility of seeking revenge on the chief who cast him into the pits of hell to fend for himself, and a chance to see that girl suffer for her part in his condemnation… how could he refuse?

"I accept.  What do you want me to do?" Jespin says with fewer nerves and a breath of excitement.

"I'll tell you once you've bathed and eaten.  I want your mind completely tuned in when I divulge my plan."

Jespin's jiggling belly growls in response to the promise of nourishment.  Curiosity is eating at him though.  Why go after the Shaylan?  Who is this puppet master, offering him redemption and retribution?

"Can I ask why it is you want to go after the Shaylan?" he asks, though the uncertainty he feels for asking such a brazen question shakes his voice.

The dark man steps out from behind the shadows, revealing the secret Jespin wasn't prepared for.  The darkness had hidden the man for reasons he never thought of.  It wasn't to conceal his identity, but to cloak his ghastly sight.

Jespin gasps and grows nauseous to the point he expels the contents of his stomach.  The marred, grotesque man doesn't shield his sight of the repulsive display.  He looks on as though he's pleased with Jespin's reaction, rather than offended or humiliated.

Everyone has that reaction to him the first time their eyes fall upon the shriveled scars lining his body.  The hairless patches reddened, deformed, and disgustingly burnt by fires much hotter than one should live through only reveal the true demon he really is.

"Let's just say... I've got my reasons.  Now go.  Eat, bathe, sleep.  We'll discuss the fine details tomorrow."

Jespin can't respond as he rests his hands on his knees, still heaving between gasps of air.  The men drag him away as he coughs and spits to the ground.

"He's a fat fool with no concept of leadership.  Why is it you chose him?" a guy asks as he steps up by the scarred monstrosity.

He seems unaffected, completely immune to the horrid sight that makes up this evil brewing inside the devil's body.  Perhaps he is the devil.  Maybe the fires of hell offered him those brutal marks as a warning to all who they are dealing with.

"I don't need him to win.  I need him to cause a scene and get me what I truly want.  There's no doubt he'll lose.  However, on the off chance he does succeed, I'll just obtain what I want all the easier.  For now, you're my true soldier."

The true soldier seems to dislike that comment, but why?  Why serve a man you don't wish to be a soldier for?

"I expect my payment before I do anything.  Then I'll expect payment again upon completion," he says, a low growl rising from his throat.

"Of course."

"As a matter of fact, if I succeed with something this monumental, I expect to fully be paid."

The scarred man narrows his eyes at the man daring to exert his dominance.

"You'll do as I say, and release of your payment will be installed on the date still set.  If you deny me, your payment won't be one you wish to receive.  Understood?"

The countered threat seems to bear more weight than the daring demand.  The compliant man nods dejectedly, his shoulders slumping in response.

"Very well.  What do I need to do?"

"I want the Shaylan's weakness in my hands, along with something else."

"You just said the Shaylan's weakness was their compassion," he murmurs in debate.

"It is their weakness, but it's not something I can use as leverage.  I need something I can use against them for when Jespin fails. And believe me, Carter, he will fail."

"Very well.  How do I get close enough to find this weakness?" Carter asks.

The malevolent grin that slides over the place where the scarred man's lips should be is shiver-worthy and unnerving.

"First, we'll have to make you look pretty damn pitiful.  Then you'll need to hitch a ride."

Book II, Faders, New Dawn of War, Coming soon.

Find C.M. Owens on Facebook, or on twitter to learn about more books by this author.

Thank you for reading the first book of the Faders Trilogy.

###

Book II of the Faders Trilogy, The Dawn of War, coming November 2013.

Just when everything proves to be perfect, old grudges come to rest in the lives of Kace and Arena.  Though Kace has never seemed like the type to make enemies, some things are often beyond one’s control.  His secretive past comes to light, and Arena struggles to adjust with some of the things she learns.

Arena finds she has enemies of her own - some she foolishly chose to overlook.  Though many love her, more find her to be an appealing choice they are willing to use force in order to take.  In the dark, unforgiving world they live in, it’s a struggle just to stay free.

With the viewer gone, nothing stands in the way of years of festering grudges.  With war breaking out like a dark plague, the walls of the Shaylan call to those without protection.  Just as they become a safe harbor, Arena learns of her mother’s accidental capture, sending her and the other warriors on a mission to bring her home.

Burning resentments from years of feeling inferior to the Shaylan teems in so many outside the walls, and Arena learns her life has been far more sheltered than she could have ever imagined as they travel into a new, awakening reality.

Foes become friends, ghosts become enemies, and dark soldiers loom around every twisted corner they turn.  With time not showing them any favors, Arena and Kace rush to save Meredith from the hands of the depraved while facing struggles of their own - both physically and emotionally.

Get your questions answered, and follow Kace and Arena’s journey.

Find out more by looking up C.M. Owens on Facebook or follow me on twitter, @cursetrilogyM.

About the Author and the Trilogy

When I wrote Faders, it morphed into something I never thought about it being.  Now, it's one of my favorites.  I really, really hope you find that to be your opinion as well... (Yes, I'm trying to sway your opinion a bit.)

Growing up in a town with more wooded areas than people made it easier to envision such a setting as given to the Shaylan.  I love the peace it can offer while also enjoying the heart-thumping a cracking twig can bring.

I love a strong heroine with a soft side, so that's why I chose to make Arena the sort of girl who melts little by little.  As the trilogy moves forward, you'll see her changing all the more.  You'll also learn new things about Kace that bring down his perfection scale a bit, though sometimes perfection lies in the flaws.

On a personal note, I'm a strong advocate for the three C's - coffee, chocolate, and corniness.  Yes, I realize that was corny.

I love my family, my readers, and my exhausted laptop.  If you enjoyed Faders and you're interested in some of my other works, you can find the Daughter Trilogy and the Curse Trilogy on Kindle.

The Daughter Trilogy starts with the Daughter of Aphrodite.  If the title isn't a big enough hint, it's based on Greek Mythology, but it has an unexpected and contemporary twist.  Though it lacks erotica, it's one hell of a steamy storyline.  It's fully released and waiting to be read... hint hint.

The fully released Curse Trilogy is designed for vampire erotica lovers - heavy emphasis on erotica - starting with the Gifted Curse.   (Yes, I realize how incredibly different all three trilogies are.  I happen to like shaking things up a bit.)

It's not your typical vampire story though, and you'll see what I mean if you're willing to spend a whopping $0.99.  (Yet again... hint hint.)

As always, I love everyone who takes the time to read my stories, and I would love the opportunity to read your reviews.  (Ahem, hint hint.)

Thank you.