EVERNIGHT PUBLISHING

www.evernightpublishing.com

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Copyright© 2025 Louise Collins

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ISBN: 978-0-3695-1193-5

Cover Artist: Jay Aheer

Editor: CA Clauson

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ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

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WARNING: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal.  No part of this book may be used or reproduced electronically or in print without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews. No AI Training permitted.

This is a work of fiction. All names, characters, and places are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

DEDICATION

Thank you to all the magpie readers.

It really means so much to me when people reach out and tell me how much they love Chad and Romeo’s story. They’ve always been a selfish project of mine, and I’m so touched and grateful that they ended up meaning something to you too.

A huge thank you to Kat who beta read Six for Gold. <3

One for sorrow,

Two for joy,

Three for a girl,

Four for a boy,

Five for silver,

Six for gold,

Seven for a secret never to be told.

SIX FOR GOLD

The Magpie Rhyme, 6

Louise Collins

Copyright © 2025

Chapter One

There were six.

Then five.

And then four.

Three.

Two.

Even hundreds of miles away while vacationing in a secluded cottage on a cliff edge, Romeo thought about the magpies. He’d found the third dead the morning of his and Chad’s trip, viciously pecked to death with its feathers drifting over the field.

Romeo had stopped putting out seed, but the magpies still came.

He sent stones hurtling the raven’s way whenever he caught a glimpse of it on the outhouse roof.

It was one bird he desperately wanted to kill.

One bird he aimed for.

But whenever he tried, he missed.

And Chad would lift an eyebrow at yet another loud thump to the outhouse tiles.

But Chad didn’t understand.

This raven, this monster that had killed his magpies, Romeo had been unable to predict. There had been warning signs, ones Romeo had overlooked.  Chad had questioned him before over his favoritism towards the magpies, Romeo’s discrimination against other birds, but Romeo had just thought Chad’s jealousy endearing.

He never saw the magpies like Romeo did.

Chad had told him about a big black bird he kept spotting, but Romeo had rolled his eyes, believing Chad was seeing shadows where there wasn’t any.

And then it had come and broke a moment of peace with violence.

Romeo had been blind to what was happening, caught unaware, and that left him on edge.

Time, Chad told him, give it time and the raven would lose interest. It would leave, and he could go back to feeding the birds—all of the birds—not just the magpies, and the order Romeo had changed would be restored.

Romeo hadn’t replied.  It was a logical assumption yet offered Romeo no comfort.

Chad had snorted and called him superstitious.

Romeo wondered whether Chad was right.

His apparent ignorance to a situation had left him uncomfortable, and his gut continued to twist and curl days after he’d realized his mistake.

By turning a blind eye to all others, he’d not foreseen a predator on the horizon.

Romeo sighed and ran a hand over Mercutio’s head.

They were sitting on a huge rock facing the sea. Romeo admired the seagulls dipping and diving. Mercutio’s focus remained on his tennis ball. He dropped it from his mouth, watching as it rolled across the rock before falling out of sight. Then he glanced at Romeo, asking for permission to jump down to find it. His grey eyes found Romeo’s green ones, pleading silently to be allowed his ball.

“Go on.” Romeo murmured.

Mercutio jumped down. His paws crunched in the pebbles as he snapped up his ball, then he returned to Romeo’s side on the rock. He lay down, content, but twenty seconds later he dropped the ball again. It rolled off the edge, but this time Romeo ignored the pleading grey eyes and resumed watching the seagulls instead.

They’d needed the trip away, Chad in particular. Romeo turned, running his gaze up the cliff. It was a hundred foot tall, and an iron staircase had been built into the rock. The cottage at the top was small with only one bedroom, but it had a balcony off the living room that looked out over the sea.

That was Chad’s favorite spot.

He seemed to find some kind of peace gazing out at the waves.

But he wasn’t on the balcony when Romeo looked.

Romeo slipped off the rock. He whistled for Mercutio who came to his side, having retrieved his ball.

“Let’s go find dad.”

Mercutio took off first, clambering up the metal steps, tail a blur as he hurried to find Chad. Romeo followed, just as eager, but with not nearly as many tells.

He ran his hand up the rail as he took each step. It was early October, not cold as such, but definitely not warm. Most of their time had been spent inside the cottage, occasionally strolling out to walk Mercutio and make their way hand in hand up the beach.

Romeo had banned Chad from using his phone other than to check in with Ally and Josh. They didn’t watch the news, but snuggled up to Netflix, and they bought their food in advance so Chad wouldn’t be potentially recognized in the supermarket.

The press and public were brutal, and Romeo knew he couldn’t keep Chad from them forever. He’d hoped the detox of negative influences would do Chad good, but Romeo couldn’t protect Chad from himself and whatever thoughts and memories swirled in his mind.  

He zoned out to them, but usually a snap of his name brought him back to Romeo, startled and apologetic.

Chad paced at odd hours, and if Romeo wasn’t careful, he lost sight of him, having woken to an empty bed as least once a night. There were bags beneath Chad’s eyes, and he walked around with a slumped posture. If Romeo had to describe it, he would’ve said Chad looked defeated.

Romeo’s gut knotted and he hesitated on the top step. He took a deep breath. They had been defeated. Vincent Whitehall had beaten them in his twisted game and had taken from Chad. He’d taken the detective away from him, and Chad looked lost knowing that part of himself was gone.

He’d never be a detective again.

Romeo should’ve realized a serial killer of Vincent Whitehall’s caliber would have an ace up his sleeve, he was the gold standard and had proved it to his last breath.

Romeo should’ve known.

Like he should’ve known about the magpies.

He had failed to protect Chad, and he’d failed to protect them too.

Mercutio waited for him by the front door.

“Good boy,” Romeo touched his head, then opened the side door into the cottage. The smell of roasting potatoes wrapped around them.

It was open plan.

Cozy, the ad had described it as, which meant small but clean and well kept.

Over the kitchen counter, Romeo saw Chad crashed out on the corner sofa. He lay on his side, with one hand beneath his cheek and the other curled towards his chest clutching the TV remote.

His skin was pale, except for the purplish tint beneath his shut eyes.

Romeo slipped off his shoes and checked the oven. He grabbed the oven mitts, gave the pan inside a quick shake, then shut the door on the potatoes. The tinfoil covered beef was resting on the side, and a fresh salsa Romeo had prepared waited in the fridge.

At some point, he’d started to enjoy cooking. He hadn’t before. Before he made food with no passion, needing only to fuel his body for the next day, but with Chad, he started to like it, love it even. It was homey and domestic and not influenced by the dark thoughts in his head. It was more than a hobby, and it helped that he was good at it. With their situation, he couldn't be the one with the stable job who provided for them, but he could take care of Chad and be the best house husband possible.

He smiled at the term. House husband.

Romeo crossed the room to get to Chad. He pulled a blanket off the back of the sofa and lay it on Chad before slipping the TV remote from his lax hand and placing it on the coffee table.

Mercutio dropped his ball to whine softly.

“I know,” Romeo whispered. “But he’s going to be okay. We’ll make sure of it.”

They would be okay. Romeo knew it like he knew the sun would rise the next morning.

He ran his hand through Chad’s brown hair, then stroked the back of his fingers against his cheek. His skin, although pale, held the heat of fever. Chad didn’t wake, but he did let out a deep sigh at the touch.

“You keep him company,” Romeo said, patting the sofa for Mercutio. “While I cut the beef.”

Mercutio clambered up and settled behind Chad’s bent knees with his chin on Chad’s thigh. He watched Romeo in the kitchen, licking his lips every so often like he assumed the beef was for him, and him alone.

Chad stirred a short while later, groaning as he rubbed his fingers into his eyes.

He paused and looked over to Romeo. Chad’s eyes were vacant, lost for a moment, then he threw himself upright.

“Shit,” he said, slapping his palm to his forehead. “I was supposed to shake the potatoes.”

Romeo smiled softly at him. “It’s okay, a few crunchy edges but it should be fine.”

“Damn it,” Chad pushed to his feet. He swayed slightly but quickly found his balance. “I’m sorry, Romeo.”

“It’s fine.”

Chad padded closer. His eyes were red, and when he spoke, his voice seemed extra nasally. 

“I can’t believe you managed to get a cold out here.”

“Ally’s got one,” Chad grunted. “Must’ve got it from her before we left.”

“You hungry?”

Chad hesitated. “A little.”

Romeo nodded. Chad wasn’t off his food as such—he still ate, but there were more and more leftovers for Mercutio each day. Before they’d set off for the cottage, Chad had thought ahead and gone to the pharmacy to buy some cold and flu capsules at the first hint of illness. Romeo had hoped he’d get better by the time they had to return home, but it had lingered in Chad’s system until the last day.

“It smells amazing.” Chad said, coming up behind Romeo and slipping his arms around his middle.

Romeo snorted. “And by it do you mean me?”

“I mean your delicious beef.”

“Still talking about me, right?”

Chad groaned as he pressed his face between Romeo’s shoulder blades. He exhaled, and Romeo felt the warm puff of air through his t-shirt. “I’m sorry I forgot about the potatoes.”

“I said it was fine.”

“But I shouldn’t have—”

“Chad. You’re ill. You’re exhausted. The only way I’d be mad is if you left them so long, they burned the place down and I had to battle through fire to save you.”

Chad smirked. “You would, though.”

“I would.” Romeo put the knife down then turned in Chad’s arms. He knocked his knuckles to Chad’s chin. “Damn right I would, but I’d be angry.”

Chad hummed. “Angry Romeo is hot Romeo.”

“Am I not hot all the time?”

“Of course, but the added angry edge does things to me.” Chad lifted onto tiptoes to press his lips to Romeo’s. Romeo didn’t reciprocate. He could’ve easily kissed him back and they would’ve ended up in the bedroom, but he didn’t.

Chad pouted in disappointment.

“You’re ill.”

Chad rolled his eyes. “Like that’s the reason.”

“It is.”

“You don’t want the beef to go bad.”

Romeo froze. Chad raised a knowing eyebrow.

“Well, it is at the perfect temperature. It won’t taste as good after being refrigerated or microwaved, and I’m not leaving it out on the side,” he glanced back to glare at Mercutio. “I’ve made that mistake before.”

Mercutio hung his head.

“You’re picking this beef over my beef.” Chad said with a sparkle in his eyes.

Romeo’s breath caught.

It seemed an age since Chad had looked at him like that.

The coil in his gut relaxed a little, and before Chad could question his pause, Romeo smiled, and replied, “Now who’s using the awful beef innuendo?”

Chad laughed and pressed his body flush with Romeo. Romeo wrapped his arms around his back, squeezing him tight. They hugged, and just like the last few times they had hugged, it felt momentous. It felt like Chad was clinging on, and no matter how much Romeo tightened his hold, it didn’t seem enough to make the man in his arms feel secure.

“Now,” Romeo murmured, loosening his grip. “Come eat what your house husband has prepared for you.”

Chad’s eyebrows met his hairline. “House husband?”

****

A shrill whine cut through the night.

Romeo’s eyes snapped open, and it took a few seconds to remember they weren’t at home. Chad wasn’t beside him in bed. The duvet cover was folded from where he’d left Romeo sleeping alone.

Romeo brushed his hand against the mattress, gut tightening when he found it cool to the touch.

He sat up, glancing at the bathroom, but no light shone around the door. Once he’d found Chad asleep propped against the side of the bath, another time, crashed out on the sofa, and a third time he’d been restless pacing just outside the cottage.

Romeo pulled the duvet off himself, leaving it folded over like on Chad’s side.

“Chad?”

There was no answer, just another shrill whine coming from the living room. Chad had left the door open, and Romeo tugged on a t-shirt as he stepped out. The lights were off, other than the standby button and the oven’s setting screen, but they’d left the curtains open, allowing a small amount of moonlight to illuminate the space. Mercutio sat in front of the sliding doors that led to the balcony.

He looked at Romeo, and his harsh whimper made Romeo wince.

Romeo stepped across the room barefoot with his gaze locked to the glass doors. Chad stood on the other side, pressed against the railing. The full moon acted as the only source of light, and it was enough that Romeo could see he was only wearing boxers and a t-shirt, just like Romeo.

“Stay,” Romeo said firmly, not even making eye contact with Mercutio. He slid the door open, then closed it behind himself.

The wind howled and seemed to push and pull in every direction. Rain pelted down and the waves below crashed, slapping against rock and pulling at the stray stones.

Chad was still.

Romeo doubted he had heard the door opening and closing behind him.

Both of Chad’s hands were curled over the railing, holding on, and he stared straight ahead.

“Hey,” Romeo said softly as he approached. When he got close enough, he touched Chad’s waist before slipping his hand around Chad’s middle. Romeo did the same on Chad’s other side until he could fold his arms across Chad’s front. He curled forward slightly to rest his chin on Chad’s shoulder. “Couldn’t sleep?”

Chad shook his head, then turned to rest his cheek against Romeo’s.

“It’s cold out here,” Romeo murmured.

He’d only been out there thirty seconds, but he could tell Chad had been there a lot longer by how cold he felt. Goosebumps covered Chad’s arms, and his neck, too, where Romeo lay a kiss as he leaned back. Chad’s t-shirt was soaked from the rain and the sea water spraying up at him, but he didn’t shiver.

“Is it Lucinda?”

Chad didn’t answer.

For every good moment, a bad one followed. They’d eaten that day, teasing each other and acting like themselves, Chad and Romeo, but Romeo knew Chad’s mental state would dip again.

Romeo understood failure, disappointment, even anger at being bested by Vincent Whitehall. He had experienced loss—although not in the same way Chad had the detective torn from him—but he understood the hollowness it invoked.

What Romeo struggled to identify with was the guilt. Chad had killed someone. Someone who in Chad’s eyes didn’t deserve it. There was no black and white for Romeo, there was only grey. Everyone and no one deserved to be his victim. He didn’t have bias, although there were a few people on his list he thought would feel particularly satisfying to kill.

Romeo didn’t understand guilt. Ally and Josh helped Chad with that particular demon, but they were hundreds of miles away.

“Want to talk about it?”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Chad replied in a whisper. “I couldn’t sleep, that’s all.”

There was more, Romeo knew there was more by the tremble in Chad’s voice.

“And you came out here because...?”

Chad stiffened. Romeo kissed the notches of spine in his neck until he relaxed again.

“I didn’t want to wake you.”

It wasn’t enough of an answer for Romeo, but he didn’t push for more.

Chad slumped. “And I was resisting the urge to check my phone.”

“Ah,” Romeo hummed.

It itched at Chad, not knowing what was being said about him.

“Did you resist?”

“Yes,” Chad lowered his head. “I’m sorry I woke you.”

“You didn’t, although I wish you would when you can’t sleep. It was Mercutio who alerted me to you in distress.”

“I’m not distressed.”

“It’s cold, it’s wet, the wind is battering you from every direction and you’re standing in the dark in your boxer shorts and a thin t-shirt.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m distressed,” Chad argued. He glanced back to meet Romeo’s eyes. “It just means I’m weird.”

“Well, I’d prefer to take your weirdness inside if that’s all right with you.”

Chad pouted. “Well, actually—”

“I wasn’t asking.”

He pulled Chad around the middle and there was a moment he resisted, a moment he gripped the railing tighter and Romeo’s heart skipped at the jolt. Then Chad let go, and he allowed Romeo to pull him away from the edge.

Romeo kept a tight hold on one of Chad’s arms as he slid the door open and led him inside. He turned on a lamp, still gripping onto Chad.

Mercutio barked, and Chad’s eyes snapped to him.

“Hey,” Chad said softly, crouching down. Romeo released Chad’s arm but hovered above him. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” Chad pet Mercutio on the head. “I didn’t want you to get cold and wet.”

“What about yourself?” Romeo said.

As if a switch had been flicked, Chad looked down at his damp t-shirt and shivered. “It didn’t feel so bad when I was out there.”

Romeo hummed, unconvinced. “Back to bed. I’ll warm you up.”

“I won’t be able to sleep.”

“But you are tired...”

Chad lowered his gaze instead of replying.

“Let me relax you.”

“I don’t have the energy for—”

“Let me,” Romeo said slowly. “Relax you. I’ll take control. I’ll make you feel good. All you have to do is lay back and enjoy it.”

Chad got back to his feet. Romeo snatched up his hand and brought it to his lips. He kissed the back of it before lacing their fingers together.

“I want to take care of you.” Romeo’s eyes burned into Chad’s. “Please let me.”

Chapter Two

Romeo pulled the duvet off the bed after stepping into the bedroom and latching the door. He tipped his head towards the mattress, signaling for Chad to lay down.

“On my back or front?” Chad asked.

“Back.” Romeo decided. “I want to see your face.”

The room was too dark for Romeo to see Chad blushing, but he knew he would be. Despite everything they’d done, sexual and otherwise, he still got embarrassed at Romeo expressing a need to see Chad’s expression.

“Wait,” Romeo said, stopping Chad with a hand to his chest, “t-shirt off first.”

Chad peeled the damp t-shirt from his skin. Romeo took it from him before he could toss it aside and hung it over the side of the wardrobe with a blatant glare.

Chad rolled his eyes. Romeo didn’t see him do it, just knew he would’ve, but the t-shirt wouldn’t dry if left in a heap on the floor, something Chad never seemed to learn.

“Bed.” Romeo ordered.

Chad crawled onto the mattress then collapsed onto his back. He watched Romeo with big brown eyes as he strolled around the bed and pulled open the curtains. The moonlight shone through the window. Chad’s right hand flexed, as if he was instinctively trying to clutch the duvet to cover himself.

The scars from Marc Wilson bothered him.

If Romeo was honest with himself, they bothered him, too, not because they were unsightly or a sadistic claim to Chad by another killer, but he hadn’t been there to stop them from happening.

They were a reminder of what Romeo had almost lost, but also a reminder that Chad was a survivor, and for that reason he climbed onto the bed and brushed his lips over every number carved and sliced into Chad’s skin. He worshipped them, not for being there, but for healing, for becoming part of Chad.

Chad shut his eyes, sighing softly as Romeo licked over one of the deeper numbers.

A three that had been cut beneath his left pectoral.

It wasn’t clean lines like the others.

This wasn’t merely etched into his skin, but Marc had sliced the outline of the number before peeling away the skin with surgical tweezers, leaving a bloody three behind.

There had been talk of skin grafts to cover the wound, but Chad had asked for the surgeon to stitch it together, leaving overstretched skin, and a ragged scar that was sensitive to Romeo’s tongue.

Chad hissed through his teeth and Romeo moved on, licking up his pec to his left nipple. He nipped, he sucked. Chad gasped and flailed.

Chad’s erection strained in his boxers, and Romeo thought about grabbing him, jerking him off with familiar pulls of his wrists and bringing Chad to orgasm, but that would only get him an hour, maybe two of rest afterwards, Romeo wanted to make sure Chad had a lot longer.

Chad’s skin held the tang of sea-spray, and it was cool under Romeo’s lips. He kissed his way up Chad’s neck to his face but avoided Chad’s mouth when he turned his head for a kiss. If Romeo kissed him, it would be over too soon. If they kissed, Romeo would need to own and devour, so he kept his mouth from Chad’s, ignoring the twitches of Chad’s lips.

Romeo kissed, licked, and caressed Chad’s body until Chad stopped trying to kiss him, and his erection softened in his boxers. Chad’s eyes stayed closed, and the only sounds he made were content sighs. He relaxed fully into the bed, breathing heavily. Romeo didn’t pinch or pull or nip for a reaction. He didn’t want goosebumps, or shivers, or a restless Chad begging him. Sure, there was a time and place for that, but it wasn’t then.  

This was all about relaxing Chad so he could get the sleep he so desperately needed.

Romeo removed Chad’s boxers, slipping them down his legs, and letting them drop to the floor. He took hold of Chad’s left calf, placing his foot flat on the bed before doing the same to the right.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” Romeo murmured.

The only reply he got was a blissed-out sigh.

Romeo snorted and reached for the bedside table. He grabbed the bottle of lube, placing it next to Chad’s left foot while he kneeled between Chad’s legs.

He didn’t need it yet.

With a little more forward thinking, Romeo would’ve laid a pillow beneath Chad’s lower back, propping him up, but there was no way he was going to break the relaxed spell he’d put Chad under.

Romeo kissed down Chad’s thigh, then pressed his face into Chad’s ass, spreading his cheeks as much as he could with his hands, but it wasn’t the best angle for that kind of play. All Romeo succeeded in doing was frustrating himself, unable to press his tongue into Chad’s hole. He swiped and licked instead. Chad didn’t clench, or twitch—he remained completely relaxed, allowing a small moan to slip past his lips.

Romeo licked him for as long as he could, until his chin started to burn from rubbing against the mattress, then he grabbed the lube.

He coated his fingers, but only used one at first, pushing it inside without resistance. Two went in just as easily, and when Romeo stretched Chad open with three, he didn’t bear down, or clench, he exhaled a long breath.

Romeo pushed his fingers inside Chad, leaning back to watch Chad’s face for any sign of discomfort, but he knew Chad’s body as much as his own, and knew exactly what he needed. Romeo sunk his three fingers deeper, brushing against Chad’s prostate.

Chad groaned softly.

He didn’t rush pleasuring Chad, he wanted him completely boneless on his fingers. Chad relaxed into the touch, and Romeo lowered his legs back to the bed, so he was lying flat with Romeo’s forearm between his thighs.

Romeo stopped sliding his fingers as far as he could. His knuckles twitched as he got the right position, the right depth. He applied steady pressure with his index and ring finger while stroking with his middle one.

He took his time massaging Chad’s prostate, keeping the speed easy and the touch gentle.

There was no outward sign Romeo was doing it right. Chad didn’t react, his cock remained soft, but Romeo knew his man, and when it happened, it did so almost unexpectedly despite Romeo knowing he was building towards it.

Chad’s cock didn’t have a chance to get hard. He was too relaxed for his blood to fill him out, but he didn’t need a full erection to orgasm, not like that.

Chad’s easy breathing abruptly stopped as he held his breath, then his semi-hard cock released waves of cum. It didn’t rush out in squirts but drooled in great gushes until his cock rested in a sticky pool on his lower abdomen. Romeo bit back a moan. There was something insanely arousing about watching Chad come like that, with no stimulation to his cock only his prostate. Completely relaxed and swamped with pleasure.

Chad exhaled a long breath, then resumed breathing heavily.

Romeo kept stroking until the last few drops left Chad’s cock, then he removed his fingers. He rubbed his thumb against them. They were still sticky with lube, and he bit back a groan knowing they’d been inside Chad, touching him in his most intimate area, bringing him to orgasm. Romeo kneeled up on the bed. He used his left hand to pull his boxers down, and took hold of himself with his right hand, the hand he’d used to get Chad off, and began to stroke himself.

He wanted to make it last, tease himself a little while he watched Chad beneath him, but Romeo was too far gone for that. He pulled brutally at his cock, watching a now asleep Chad as he got himself off.

It was the surrender, the trust, which did it for him.

Chad trusted Romeo with himself completely knowing what he was, the inclination he had.

He accepted and loved Romeo. All of him.

Romeo bit his lip not to moan, and shifted suddenly as he came, hitting the bed instead of Chad’s chest with his load. He sat back on his heels, doing his best not to pant as his heart went back to normal, then he crept into the bathroom without flicking the light on, and grabbed some tissue to clean Chad’s skin.

They’d need a shower, but Romeo wasn’t even risking turning the tap on in case it woke Chad. He padded back to the bed, wiped off Chad’s stomach, then the bed where he’d come. Chad didn’t wake, not even when Romeo returned from the bathroom for a second time after throwing the tissue in the toilet to flush down in the morning.

Romeo pulled the duvet up from the floor and over them as he settled beside Chad on the bed. He didn’t care about the damp patch against his hip as he gently eased Chad onto his side, his preferred sleeping position, and sidled up behind him.

Chad sighed out Romeo’s name, and Romeo tensed, but Chad didn’t wake, he reached back with a sluggish hand to find Romeo’s arm and pulled it around himself.

“My Juliet,” Romeo whispered into the back of Chad’s hair.

****

Romeo woke first, much to his surprise. The open curtain let in the sunlight which shone directly onto the bed, but it hadn’t woken Chad. Romeo still had his arm over Chad’s side, and he cupped his hand to Chad’s chest, closing his eyes at the feel of his heart.

It was strong and steady beneath his palm.

Romeo pressed his chest to Chad’s back, hoping subconsciously he’d feel Romeo’s beating, too, completely in sync with his.

It was the last morning of their weeklong getaway.

Mercutio, apparently sensing Romeo was awake, whined at the door. Romeo sighed, carefully retrieved his arm and went to feed him. Even when he returned, Chad was still asleep, and Romeo slipped beneath the duvet. He ran his hand up and down Chad’s side, stroking him before picking off a piece of cum covered tissue.

“Ouch,” Chad murmured. He shifted, pressing his back into Romeo’s chest as he looked down his body to the patch.

“Time for a shower,” Romeo said, before slapping Chad’s ass when he didn’t move immediately.

Chad grumbled beneath his breath as he slipped from the bed and trudged to the bathroom. Romeo followed, stripping off his boxers he’d hastily shoved on so he could feed Mercutio.

They brushed their teeth first before climbing into the shower, needing the minty freshness in close quarters.

Romeo washed the cum from Chad’s stomach, then Chad returned the favor, washing Romeo’s hip where he’d been lying on his side all night. Chad didn’t need to crouch down to do it, but he did, running his hand up and down Romeo’s thigh.

Romeo bit his lip, gaze fixed to Chad and how tantalizingly close his face was to Romeo’s crotch. He suspected that was the point and was proved right when Chad began kissing the head of his cock. Romeo went from half hard to straining in roughly three seconds and beat his fist weakly against the tiles.

“You play dirty.”

Chad leaned back to smile at him. “I can stop if you want?”

Romeo shook his head.

Chad snorted, then took hold of Romeo’s cock at the base with his dominant hand.  He kissed, he licked, he flicked his tongue. He did all the things that drove Romeo crazy. Chad knew how to tease, and when he parted his lips, slipping them all the way down Romeo’s cock to meet his steady hand, Romeo groaned, shuffling forward so he could rest his forehead against the tiles. The same way Romeo knew Chad’s body, Chad knew his.

Chad bobbed his head back and forth, dragging his squeezing hand along with him until Romeo was panting at the tiles. “I love your mouth.”

Romeo loved all of Chad, but right then, all he could remember about him was his warm, wet mouth, his soft but firm tongue, the perfect amount of suction, the occasional touch of teeth.

“Fuck,” he moaned, coming on Chad’s tongue.

And Chad’s mouth, his perfect mouth, ceased sucking, and touching, and held Romeo’s cock while it jolted, catching and swallowing it all before waiting for the sensitivity to wane, then licking Romeo clean. He resumed kissing the head of Romeo’s cock, and there was a moment Romeo thought about letting him carry on, and fucking Chad’s mouth in a mad chase for a second orgasm. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d done so, but Chad hadn’t been well. He’d been feverish and croaky, and Romeo doubted any rough treatment, no matter how much they both enjoyed it, would help his recovery.

“Enough,” Romeo mumbled.

Chad smiled again as he got to his feet. Caught in a daze, Romeo’s brain reiterated that it loved Chad’s mouth whether it was stretched round his cock, sighing in contentment or smiling at him.

“Thank you.” Chad said so softly Romeo barely heard him above the shower. He leaned in and pressed his lips to Romeo’s, and Romeo got to taste his perfect mouth, picking out himself on Chad’s tongue and loving it.

It made his stomach flip.

Chad’s words caught up in Romeo’s brain, and he broke the kiss, frowning. He turned the shower off.

“Why thank me? If anyone should be thanking—”

“For last night,” Chad said. “It felt really good. I ... I needed that.”

He ducked his head, blushing. Romeo caught his chin, lifting him so they could look each other in the eye. “I love you.”

Chad’s breath stuttered. His gaze was awed. “I love you, too.”

“And we’re going to work this out. We’re going to be okay.”

Chad’s forehead wrinkled. He averted his gaze until Romeo squeezed his chin.

“Do you believe me?” Romeo asked.

“I...” Chad’s voice died.

“Believe me.” Romeo said firmly. “It’s me and you against the world.”

Mercutio barked loud enough to be heard through two closed doors. Chad’s eyes snapped towards the sound, but he didn’t remove his face from Romeo’s hand.

“Me, you, and Mercutio.” Chad whispered.

Romeo rolled his eyes. “If you like.”

Chad’s expression softened. He pinched Romeo’s side. “You love him really.”

“I tolerate him.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Chad said, sliding the shower door open. He stepped out and passed a towel back for Romeo.

They both dried off. 

“I didn’t check if the mattress had a protector on top.” Romeo mused.

Chad glanced back at him blankly. “You need to work on your post sex talk.”

Romeo snorted. “I came all over the mattress—excuse me for thinking about your reputation on the booking website.”

“You think we’ll get a one-star rating from the owner?”

“Yes. One-Star for the cum stain on the mattress.”

Chad laughed and Romeo closed his eyes, relishing in the sound.

“It’s a bed,” Chad snorted. “It’s one of its functions.”

“To be a semen sponge.”

Chad laughed harder. He wiped his eyes. “If you’re that worried about it, you can clean it while I take Merc for his morning walk.”

“I want to come with you.”

Chad pouted. “Rather than on the bed.”

Romeo scoffed. “That was weak, even for you.”

Chad flung his towel at Romeo’s face and bolted from the bathroom. Romeo pursued him, and they both dressed quickly, Chad on one side of the bed, while Romeo stood on the other. Before Romeo could launch across the bed, and possibly get Chad naked again, Chad opened the door and Mercutio ran in, yipping and yapping while pawing at Chad’s leg.

“We’re coming,” Chad told him before pointing a finger in Romeo’s direction. “If you try to make that dirty, I’ll ban you from the walk.”

“I wouldn’t dream of lowering myself to your level.”

Chad grinned, then held out his hand for Romeo to take. They left the cottage with Mercutio trotting in front of them and headed down the staircase to the beach.

Chad didn’t let go of Romeo’s hand as they stepped their way over the biggest boulders to get to the smooth pebbles to walk along. Mercutio trotted up front, glancing back every few meters to ensure they were following him, and Chad filled his lungs with sea air before letting it go again on a sigh. He caught Romeo watching him.

“What?” Chad asked.

“Nothing.”

Chad’s eyebrow twitched, unconvinced, “Uh huh...”

“It’s just,” Romeo swallowed. “I never thought I could have this,” he squeezed Chad’s hand. “I never thought I wanted it, but, fuck, I do. It’s everything, and I’m not going to lose it. I’m not going to lose you. If it’s us against the world, then the world is in trouble, because there is no way it can win.”

Chad stopped. His eyes were wet, and his bottom lip shook. He tugged on Romeo’s hand until he got the message, leaned in, and kissed Chad on the lips.

Chapter Three

The whole drive back home, Chad sat ramrod straight behind the wheel. Romeo watched from the backseat, sun visor pulled across both back windows to ensure no one saw him.

“No unnecessary risks,” Chad told him.

It was an over-the-top precaution, but Chad insisted on Romeo traveling in the backseat in darkness. Mercutio struggled to settle in the back of the car until Romeo swung an arm over the seats to pet him on the head, then he laid down in the tightest ball he could manage.

That got a smile out of Chad and a soft look in the mirror.

“Home,” Chad said, turning onto their track road. He exhaled a slow breath. There were no cars outside, but litter, cans, and packets, were noticeable in their field.

The car bounced and juddered along, and Mercutio sat up with a whimper.

“It looks okay.” Chad said, coming to a stop.

Romeo raised an eyebrow. “What were you expecting, the place to be burned to the ground?”

Chad climbed out of the car instead of answering. He moved towards the trunk and flipped the lid for Mercutio to jump down.

It was midafternoon on a grey dreary day.

Romeo ran his gaze along the top of the outhouse as he heaved himself from the car. As far as he could tell, the raven wasn’t there. He listened, but there were no birds at all, only the whistle of wind rushing around the buildings, but regardless of the raven’s no-show, Romeo’s nape still prickled.

It was there.

It was watching.

“Maybe if you try summoning it like a demon,” Chad said.

Romeo glared his way. “You’re not funny.”

Chad patted his thigh and Mercutio glued himself to him as he strode to the front door. Romeo scanned the top of the outbuilding one last time before joining Chad and Mercutio.

They stepped inside. Chad paused as if listening until Romeo gave him an encouraging push. The hallway and the kitchen were exactly how they’d left them, but the living room curtains billowed, and glass sparkled on the rug and the top of the coffee table.

Some had even showered Mercutio’s bed.

“Shit,” Chad gasped, before ushering Mercutio into the kitchen and shutting the door.  

Romeo gripped Chad’s hips. “Stay.”

“What?”

“Stay right there.”

“Why?”

“I’m going to check the upstairs in case someone is unfortunate enough to be here,” Romeo squinted. “But don’t worry, if there is someone up there, I’ll drag them downstairs and kill them in front of you so we can both enjoy it.”

“Romeo,” Chad growled in warning.

Romeo released him and rushed upstairs to check no one was in their house.

Chad was still waiting where Romeo had left him when he returned empty handed.

“Disappointed?” Chad asked.

“A little.” Romeo winked. “I know you are too.”

Chad ignored the remark.

“Come on, let’s sort the living room.”

Romeo retrieved the dustpan and brush from beneath the stairs.

Chad crouched down, finding the rock that had been thrown at the window. A piece of paper had been wrapped around it, secured with elastic bands.

“Don’t,” Romeo warned.

Chad didn’t listen, and revealed the note meant for him. “Her blood is on your hands,” he read, then he showed Romeo the black and white print out of Lucinda Hastings. “Oh, and for good measure...”

Chad held the rock out for Romeo to see.

The word monster had been painted on one side of it.

“You’re not a monster.” Romeo whispered. “And I know monsters.”

Chad shook his head, slapping a hand to his hip as he assessed the damage. “At least it only looks like the one window has been smashed.”

Romeo pointed to the empty space the TV usually occupied. “I’ll order another one in a bit.”

Chad did a double take, gawping at the missing TV. “I didn’t even notice.”

Despite having more money than either of them knew what to do with, they didn’t splash out on unnecessary things. The TV was the most expensive thing in the house, and Romeo’s gym was the most expensive thing in the outhouse.

Romeo made a mental note to check the outhouse hadn’t been broken into once they’d cleaned up the mess.

He swept up the glass and snatched the note from the coffee table when Chad wasn’t looking. He didn’t know where the rock had gone but didn’t want to draw attention back to it by asking.

Chad’s phone buzzed, startling him. He clutched his chest as he retrieved it from his pocket. “It’s Josh.”

He glanced at Romeo like he was asking for permission.

“Aren’t you going to answer it?”

Chad shot him a small smile and turned his back as he answered the call. He strode out of the living room, choosing to chat with Josh in the hallway. Romeo searched for the rock, running his hands along the edges of the sofa and the armchair before getting to his knees and checking the floor. 

He even peeked out of the smashed window, thinking Chad might’ve thrown it out when he wasn’t looking, but he couldn’t find it.

Chad returned looking pale. The dark smudges beneath his eyes appeared darker, and he shivered.

“What’s happened?” Romeo asked.

Chad blinked. “Nothing. He wants to catch up, that’s all.”

“Right ... and you look like you’re about the pass out because...?”

“What if he knows something,” Chad’s gaze flicked to the window in the direction of the outhouse, the other car and the field of bodies.

“He doesn’t know anything,” Romeo said. “If he did, the police would be screeching up that track road.”

Chad pursed his lips and blew out a breath. “That’s not the most comforting thought. And as the qualified police person here, that’s not how we’d do it unless absolutely necessary. We’d more likely try to lure the suspect into a trap rather than attempt to apprehend them in their own home when they’re potentially dangerous.”

Romeo mulled Chad’s words over. He smirked, “Thank you, detective.”

“I’m not a detective anymore.” Chad said softly.

Romeo almost punched himself. He grimaced. “You’re still qualified to be one.”

“I doubt some people would agree.”

Romeo frowned. “Did Josh sound ... suspicious?”

“No.” Chad rubbed his brow. “He was his usual happy self. He said we can get pizza, play a few games, and he’s desperate to tell me about his disaster date with Angel.”

“Disaster date?”

“Apparently he insulted her new haircut.”

Romeo widened his eyes. “What a bastard.”

“Insulted it by not mentioning it other than to say it looked shorter, apparently that’s an insult. He wants to know whether that only happens in straight relationships.”

Romeo folded his arms. “Remember your reaction when I cut my own hair. You said one word. Wow.”

“I meant wow in a good way.”

“No, you didn’t.”

Chad chuckled. “You’ve gotten much better at cutting your hair.”

“You cut my hair.”

“Exactly.” Chad grinned, but it soon faded.

Romeo studied him. “If you’re not up for it, call him back, cancel.”

Chad took a deep breath. “I want to see him,” he winced, as if expecting Romeo’s jealousy to take over, but he held it in check. He wanted to be Chad’s everything, but the fact was, he couldn’t be. He was missing certain ... traits of the human condition. “And I need to know if he’s made any progress in these missing people’s case.”

“You mean our victims.”

“Yes,” Chad whispered, ducking his head. “We need to be a step ahead, that way I can...”

“Lead him in the wrong direction.”

Chad looked glum as he nodded. He fished his keys from his pocket before crunching them in his fist. “Are you going to be all right?

Romeo smiled. “I’ve got this window to board up, and then I’m going to hit the gym,” he flexed his arm. “I can see the muscle wastage already.”

Chad snorted, “You look handsome as hell like always,” He strode closer. “See you later.”

He slipped his arms around Romeo, and Romeo embraced him back. Romeo closed his eyes at the kiss Chad pressed to his cheek. He let go first, but Chad clung to him for a few seconds longer.

Before Romeo could question it, Chad was backing away.

He left the room, and a few minutes later, Romeo heard the engine of Chad’s car start from the smashed window, then heard it judder up the dirt track.

Romeo eased out a long breath and continued sorting out the living room.

A whimper gave him pause. He frowned and went to let Mercutio out of the kitchen. Mercutio stared longingly at the door.

“Next time.” Romeo murmured.

Despite stealing the TV, the thieves hadn’t found where Romeo had hidden his laptop away, in the bottom grill of his oven that hadn’t worked since they’d moved in, and he ordered a new TV to be delivered the next day.

He checked the other rooms for any signs of a break in, then the outhouse that remained just as he’d left it except a thin layer of dust had settled over the desk and gym equipment.

Romeo ordered shopping to arrive for the next day, boarded up the window with planks he found in the outhouse, did an hour session in the gym, then played fetch with Mercutio.

His eyes kept finding the patch in the field where they’d buried the bodies. Rocks marked their graves. It had been too long since he’d last killed someone.

The monster was restless, pacing at the back of Romeo’s skull. Too much had happened to even broach the subject with Chad.

He was consumed by guilt, worn down by failure and grieving the loss of his identity.

Romeo couldn’t shake a cold case in front of his face especially with Josh wising up to what they’d been doing, and he couldn’t go out and kill at random because of the compromise he’d made. That left him in limbo, with a throbbing head, and twitching fingers and an ever-growing need.

Chad distracted him. Chad gave him a purpose stronger than the need to kill, but without him there it ate away at him until he was running his nails over his hair, cursing his affliction. He hated his dark need, but at the same time loved it, the power, the sense of right. It was euphoric and addictive. Taking someone’s life, controlling their last breath and looking them in the eye as the light left them forever elevated Romeo to a god-like state.

He was meant to feel like that.

A god among men.

As uncomfortable as it was for Chad to accept, some people were made to be killers.

It was inevitable, fate.

But it had been too long.

He paused, fingers clutching his hair as he struggled to remember the last person he’d killed.

“Graham Brennan.”

That was it. Graham had killed his wife and her sister and admitted his guilt to a journal. Romeo had almost wept with relief when he found it while snooping around Graham’s house, proof he could present to Chad who let go of the metaphorical chain he had around him and let him kill.

Then Romeo’s mind had wandered with thoughts of Chad killing, of Chad’s hands around someone’s throat, and his eyes as dark as the night as he squeezed them tight enough for the air trapped in their lungs to turn toxic. Romeo had expected the monstrous part of him to gnash its teeth, hackles raised, growling me, me, me at the thought, but it hadn’t.

It really fucking hadn’t.

The monster had purred the words ours, ours, ours at the thought. Romeo didn’t know whether that part chanted at Chad, at the kill, or a combination of both.

Both.

Chad killing, relishing in it, it was the ultimate fantasy.

Romeo groaned and pushed the thought away before his body could react any more than it already had. He glanced back to the house to the place where Lucinda Hastings had died. Sure enough, it killed his hard on and shoved the monster firmly back in its cage.

Watching Chad be forced to kill hadn’t been arousing in the slightest.

Something had broken in him, and Romeo had seen it.

A snap of something behind his eyes.

And Romeo still didn’t know if he could fix it, or round off the edges, or make Chad accept it, he wasn’t wired in a way to understand that particular break which was why Chad needed Josh, Ally, and Keeley. It was also why Romeo hadn’t attempted to persuade Chad to leave their home and start somewhere new.

Chad believed Romeo learned different languages to distract himself, and it was partly true, but more than that, it was a piece of a bigger plan if ever Josh got too close to finding out the truth. There were other things Romeo had bought online from hidden sites, and dark webpages. Chad didn’t question how or where Romeo spent his money, and he’d put together a ‘Runaway kit’ for whenever the need arose.

Passports, fake birth certificates, cash.

He and Chad were not going to end in that county, in that village, in that house.

But Chad needed to heal before Romeo would even suggest them leaving.

The boarded-up window caught his eye. He sighed. That’s if the public backed off long enough for Chad to heal.

“Come on,” Romeo called over his shoulder. Mercutio picked up his ball and trotted behind Romeo as he went back into the house.

****

Chad was late.

Romeo sat in the kitchen with his phone on the table.

He cracked his neck, but it did nothing to remove the tension in his bones.  

The clock on the wall ticked away the time until Romeo had to get up and remove the battery before he smashed it into a million pieces.

He relied on his phone, prodding the screen every time it went dark.

His texts and calls had gone unanswered.

Which was extremely unlike Chad.

They had tracking on each other’s phones, and Romeo stared through narrowed eyes at the last location Chad’s phone had pinged. It was a house he didn’t recognize, before the dual carriageway that led into the city and Josh’s place.

Either Chad had stopped on his way back for some reason, or, far more sinisterly, he’d stopped on the way there and Romeo hadn’t known.

“Or he might not have stopped at all,” Romeo groaned.

Phone networks weren’t the most reliable, and that house’s location might just happen to be the last place Chad’s phone got a signal. Chad wasn’t replying to texts or calls because he was driving. It made perfect logical sense, yet Romeo’s nape prickled in warning.

Something wasn’t right.

Romeo snatched his phone off the table and tried Chad again.

He bounced his leg, expecting it to ring, but instead there was a message from the network provider that said the number could not be contacted at that time.

Romeo’s anxiety skyrocketed, and he pushed to his feet.

He strolled out of the room, checking the location of Chad’s phone again only to trip at the lack of one. The white dot, Chad’s pulsating initials inside of it, had gone.

“What the fuck,” Romeo muttered, shutting Mercutio in the kitchen.

He whined, but Romeo ignored him, snatching the keys for their secret car and the set for the outhouse double doors.

He rushed outside, but halfway across the concrete to get to the outhouse, Romeo’s phone buzzed, and he stopped dead. An unknown number flashed on the screen. That explained it, Romeo thought, Chad had broken down, his phone had just died but he’d borrowed someone else’s so he could call Romeo.

“Chad?” he asked, hating the spike of fear that penetrated his voice.

There was a beat of silence, and then a hesitant, “No, this isn’t Chad. My name’s Josh, I’m friends with Chad.”

Romeo pressed his lips in a firm line. The alarm bells were near deafening, but he just about managed to hear Josh.

“We’ve met once before, at a club, we were wearing masks—that’s not important right now—”

“How did you get my number?”

“Chad gave it to me a while ago in case anything ... happened to him.”

Romeo’s breath shook. “And has it?”

He knew, as the words left his lips, he knew.

That gut feeling, the sense of unease.

Romeo’s vision wavered. He crouched before he dropped, bracing one hand on the ground.

“Yes,” Josh said quietly. “Frank, I don’t know how to tell you this, but there’s ... there’s been an ... incident. Chad’s been taken to St Johns.”

Romeo panted a few breaths at the concrete.

“Is...” Romeo swallowed. He didn’t think he could get the words out. “Is he still alive?”

“Yes, but he’s in a bad way,” Josh’s voice cracked. “You need to get here. You need to get here fast.”

Romeo wanted to ask more, but he couldn’t. Pressure built in his chest, squeezing his lungs.

“Hurry, Frank.”

He ended the call to Josh, and went down on all fours, wheezing as he tried to slow his breathing. His heart thundered, rushing blood through his ears, and he didn’t know whether he was closer to passing out or throwing up, but he pressed his forehead to the ground, needing the cold and hard concrete to anchor him. They’d been here before.  After Marc, Chad had been in bad way, but he was a survivor.

But Romeo had heard it.

The tone of devastation in Josh’s voice.

His insistence that he needed to get there fast, implying if he didn’t, he’d be too late.

Too late for what.

To say goodbye.

“No,” Romeo growled the ugly thought away. “There is no goodbye between us.”

He sat back on his heels as his breathing eased.

And that was when he saw it.

On the very edge of his vision, black wings fluttered as the raven disappeared onto the outhouse roof.

There was every chance he’d imagined it. It might not have been real, but it was there.

This shadow. This dark omen. 

It was a monster, like him, a god in its own world, and it was there, watching him.

He got to his feet and unlocked the outhouse doors.

Chad was a survivor, Romeo told himself, whatever had happened, he’d make it through to the other side, and if he didn’t, Romeo wouldn’t wait long to join him.

He yanked off the sheet covering the car, pulled on a black hoodie and slipped on his gloves.

Romeo took off down the dirt track, adjusting his mirror so he could see the outhouse roof, but the raven, or what he’d thought was the raven, was invisible in the darkness.

Chapter Four

Chad had drilled into Romeo the importance of wearing gloves when driving their ghost car.

The door handle, both externally and internally, the steering wheel, seatbelt clip and the gear stick would be dusted if it ever came under suspicion, and Romeo’s prints were on the police data base.

He had to be careful in a way he hadn’t needed to be when he was ‘The Countdown Killer’.

Chad had also grown frustrated over Romeo’s lack of disguise on the rare occasions he left the house. He kept a black full-length parka, a blue cap, and a pair of prescription free glasses on the seat and was ordered to wear them whenever he ventured out.

Although witnesses had seen Romeo around their missing victims’ houses, they’d been unable to give a useful description.

He was a large man wearing gloves, dressed in mainly black with a cap pulled low over his forehead and his hair tied up so the length was indistinguishable.

The glasses were an added addition. Sunglasses would’ve been noticeable, even some thick frames drew the eye, Romeo’s were thin wire frames that were unflattering on his face.

He pulled into the multistory parking ramp at St John’s hospital and used the first space available. There was nobody lingering nearby, and he flew from the car, slamming the door shut before breaking out in a run to get to the front doors of the hospital.

Don’t take any unnecessary risks.

Chad’s voice was sharp, clipped in Romeo’s head and it yanked him to a stop.

He eyed the closest camera, pointing at the double doors to the hospital.

There would be more cameras inside ... people, Ally and Josh.

But Chad...

Romeo scrunched his face, taking a step closer. He dug his nails into his palms, eyeing the door.

“Damn it.”

He changed direction, strolling away from the entrance to accident and emergency.

Chad was inside.

And Romeo had to walk away.

He circled the hospital complex at a distance, always staring at the building until another thought crept into his head.

A trap.

We’d be more likely to lure the suspect into a trap rather than attempt to apprehend them in their own home.

What if the police had Chad, if Josh had worked it all out and had laid a trap for Romeo, one he’d driven straight into without any thought.

He turned sharply on his heels, heading back the way he’d come.

A second later, Romeo’s phone began to ring with Josh’s number flashing on the screen.

He covered his mouth when he answered, trying to be discreet.

“Where are you?” Josh asked. “Are you almost here?”

“I’m close.”

Josh exhaled. “Good.”

“What’s the latest? How is Chad?”

“The paramedic who treated him on scene managed to get him breathing again. They’re doing scans on him now to determine the damage, but he’s breathing on his own.”

“What damage?”

“They don’t know how long he went without oxygen to the brain. He was rescued by bystanders, but it wasn’t easy getting him out.”

“Rescued? From where?”

Josh took a shaky breath. “The water.”

Romeo blinked. “What the fuck was he doing in water?”

“I’ll ... I’ll explain when you get here. How long are you going to be?”

Romeo grimaced. “I’ll be there as quickly as I can. Thank you, Josh.”

He froze at the woman on the bench fifty meters from him.

Ally Coulson.

He knew it was her from the few pictures he’d seen on Chad’s phone. Dark hair with the purplish tint lit up by the lamp she was under, thick purple glasses, and an oversized leather jacket. She cradled a coffee in her hands, and her eyes were unseeing as she stared at the ground.

She was sad, with sunken shoulders and a defeated hunch to her spine.

But it didn’t help.

She’d be sad if Chad was hurt or if he’d been found out to be harboring a killer.

Romeo kept walking, keeping his stride natural as he passed her.

He glanced from person to person outside the hospital, wondering if they were undercover officers ready to pounce.

Was the nurse on her phone outside the door really a nurse?

Or was she cleverly placed there to tempt Romeo close enough to ask her if she knew anything about Chad’s condition?

“Are you in there or are they just trying to draw me out?”

If he went over to her, he could ask, or he could call the hospital, but if it was a trap ... they would’ve thought of that already.

“Fuck,” Romeo hissed through his teeth. “Where the hell are you, Chad?”

He’d let emotion get the better of him and it had led him to St Johns.

But if they had Chad, it was more likely they were holding him at Bardhum Station. That’s where Romeo needed to be, unless he really was hurt.

Unless he really was inside the hospital, in pain, wondering where Romeo was.

Romeo’s head throbbed.

“Water,” Romeo muttered. “Pulled you from the water. What water?”

He shook his head, and checked his phone, praying for a message from Chad.

There was nothing.

He’d never been overly emotional, knew he lacked a few emotions altogether, but Chad had unlocked some in him he’d never thought he had, but this situation, this moment, they were twisting, and warping, and pulling so tight Romeo thought they might break him apart.

He didn’t know where Chad was.

And he didn’t know how to find him.

Romeo slowed his stride the closer he got to the parking ramp.  The blue lights of a police car flashed. They reflected off the ceiling and the ground. Already, a few onlookers watched as a uniformed officer peered in through the driver’s window of Romeo’s car using the torch on her phone.

Josh stood by the trunk of the car, phone to his ear.  He ran a hand over his blond hair, eyes wide as he spoke to whoever was on the other end.

Romeo turned around and managed to stop himself before he ran.

Never run, Chad’s voice said, even if someone sees you, even if you think they’re suspicious of you, don’t run. So, Romeo didn’t. He stepped out of the car park just as another police car arrived on scene, mounting the curb in the officer’s haste. A woman jumped out from the passenger side, calling Josh’s name into the darkness.

Romeo cursed himself as he walked far enough away from the hospital for him to arrange a taxi. He’d been overwhelmed with fear when Josh first called him, and he’d made a mistake by driving to the hospital, then parking in the parking ramp. He hadn’t been thinking, and not for the first time he saw the weakness of emotion. He’d only realized how much danger he was putting both Chad and himself in when he got to the front doors of accident and emergency.

They had his car, and it wouldn’t be long until they had the CCTV from the car park.

“Idiot,” Romeo hissed. He pulled off the jacket and the cap before balling them up, and burying them in a trashcan he strode by.

The taxi driver beamed a smile at him, and Romeo mirrored him as best as he could but knew the expression didn’t meet his eyes. He climbed into the back, and exhaled a long breath, hoping his fuck-up wouldn’t cost them, if it wasn’t already too late.

****

Romeo checked his phone again.

Nothing.

A trap or the truth.

He didn’t know, but he did know where Chad’s car had been last.

The white dot with Chad’s initials may have vanished from the map on his phone but he could still remember the address, and as soon as they turned onto the street, Romeo spotted Chad’s car, a silver Honda Civic, parked on the side of the road.

“Can you pull over here?” Romeo asked.

The driver flashed him another smile, and Romeo managed to match it for appearances sake.  He didn’t get out immediately, though. He scanned the area, scrutinizing every parked car in case there were undercover officers inside.

Everything was still.

There was no one lingering in a suspicious manner.

“Problem?” the driver asked.

“Lots of them,” Romeo mumbled back. “Can you wait here?”

“Sure.”

There was a row of houses, all with their curtains drawn, but lights shone around them. Nothing alarmed Romeo about the state of Chad’s car. It was well parked, there were no dents, or smashes, nothing that indicated anything was wrong. He tried the handle, and found it locked, and when he peered through the window, he spotted Chad’s phone, face down on the passenger seat.

Did they arrest him here?

Push him up against the car and cuff his hands behind his back?

Romeo closed his eyes. “Give me a sign, Chad, a fucking sign.”

“It can’t stay there.”

He froze at the woman’s voice before turning to slowly face her. She stood on the doorstep to the house, in silhouette, and it was only when she took a step closer did Romeo see her clearly.

She wore a bright pink dressing gown and had rollers in her black hair.

“Did you see the man it belongs to?” he asked.

She frowned, folding her arms across her chest. “I assumed you owned it.”

Romeo shook his head.

“It’s been there since I got home at 6:00,” she said. “I don’t know who it belongs to, but if I’d had seen them, I would’ve told them they can’t park there. They need a permit to park along here,” she pointed to the nearby sign illuminated by a streetlight. “Residents only, and this car ... well, I don’t recognize it. It needs to be moved.”

Romeo turned his back on the woman before glancing up and down the road. “Water...”

“What was that?” she shouted.

He almost walked away without asking, but glanced at her over his shoulder.

“Where’s the closest body of water?”

He didn’t expect a reply, the trap seemed the more likely option, but he frowned when he got one.

“That’ll be the fishing lake, four hundred yards in that direction,”

Romeo twisted around to see where she was pointing.

“A fishing lake?”

“Yes. “

“Why the hell would he be at a fishing lake?”

He rubbed his brow, remembering what Chad had told him earlier. Josh had invited him over to his flat for pizza. He wanted to tell Chad about a disaster date with his new girlfriend, Angel. There was no mention of fishing, unless they’d changed the plan.

“Are you moving this car or not?”

“Not,” Romeo replied before jogging back to the taxi. He jumped in the back, ignoring the middle finger from the woman, but the taxi driver honked his horn and gestured out of the window at her on Romeo’s behalf.

“Where to now?” the driver asked.

“The fishing lake.”

“It’s a bit late for fishing.”

“I just want to drive by it.”

“The Harley.”

“What?”

“The Harley. It’s the name of the lake. They’ve got some good size carp in it, caught a pike once.”

“Is it dangerous?” Romeo asked, leaning between the seats.

“Well, I wouldn’t want to be bitten by one, put it that way.”

Romeo curled his hand into his seat. “I meant the lake.”

“Oh. It’s deep, if that’s what you mean. But the place is well maintained.” He shrugged. “It’s one of the better ones.”

Romeo slumped back in his seat, frowning.

It didn’t make any sense.

He dropped his head into his hands, resisting the urge to claw at his scalp.

“Are you going to be sick?”

“No,” Romeo mumbled through his fingers, “I’m not going to be sick. Just drive.”

****

The lake offered Romeo no clue.  

If Josh was telling him the truth, then why had Chad been at the lake?

It was too dark to investigate, and the gate for the car park had been locked. The fishing lodge, the signposts, even the website looked expensive, not the kind of place a gang would drag Chad to and drown him.

Romeo tried to push the thought from his head, but it persisted. Chad in trouble. Chad surrounded. Chad unable to call him. He had been plagued by those thoughts before, dreams where the magpie was Chad and Chad was the magpie.

Or ... Chad pulled over by the police. Chad interrogated. Chad in a holding cell somewhere while they tried to draw Romeo out.

Romeo’s headache beat like a drum.

Mercutio was hiding beneath the table when Romeo stepped into the kitchen.

A urine puddle shone on the floor.

“Shit,” Romeo exhaled. “I’m sorry.”

Romeo had left him far too long, and after cleaning up the mess he managed to coax a cowering Mercutio out from the table.

“I’m not mad,” he told him, patting his head. “It was my fault.”

He opened the back door wide for Mercutio to go outside.

He never went far.

Then Romeo pulled out a chair and sat down at the kitchen table. He texted Josh for an update of Chad’s condition.

He placed his phone on the table and waited like he’d been waiting three hours before.

Romeo snatched it off the table when it buzzed.

“Where the hell are you?” Josh snapped.

“I’ve been ... delayed.”

“Delayed?”

“My flight,” Romeo scrunched up his face, hoping it sounded plausible. “It was cancelled.”

He braced himself for Josh to ask where he was flying from, but instead Josh just exhaled a long drawn out, “shit.”

“How is he?”

“The neurosurgeon’s been in. He said from the damage he suspects Chad was without oxygen for five to eight minutes before bystanders managed to get him out and begin CPR.”

Romeo didn’t know Josh at all, didn’t know whether he sounded genuine. He pressed his lips together, waiting for Josh to break the silence.

“He’s in a coma. He has ... there’s damage, particularly in his hippocampus.  But he’s breathing on his own, and the doctor thinks the water being cold would’ve helped.”

It was specific. Maybe too specific. Romeo’s head pounded.

“When is he going to wake?”

Josh hesitated, he hesitated so long, Romeo growled out his name.

“They don’t know,” he said softly

“His doctor must’ve given some kind of indication.”

“It all depends on how Chad responds to treatment over the next few days, but there is a chance ... the doctor told us with cases like this, there’s always a chance he might not wake up.”

“He will,” Romeo said firmly with no room for argument. “He will wake up.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“Hope isn’t necessary. He will. Tell me what happened.”

“Hap ... happened?”

Romeo closed his eyes. “He told me he was going to see you.”

“He didn’t turn up—”

“Did you rearrange a place ... did he cancel?”

“No. He didn’t show. I called him, I sent him messages, but he didn’t reply, then Ally phoned me.”

“Ally...”

“Oh, she’s his sergeant, was his sergeant, but they’re good friends.”

Romeo reopened his eyes and calmed himself of any irritation. “I know who she is. Why did she call you?”

“She’s Chad’s next of kin. The hospital called her, said he was in a bad way. She picked me up on the way to the hospital and we tried to work out what had happened. A bystander saw Chad ... he saw him fall into the water. He managed to get Chad out and began CPR while someone else called an ambulance. There was an off-duty paramedic close by who managed to get him breathing again.”

“I don’t understand why was he there? Why did he park his car up on that street and walk there?”

Josh was quiet for a long time. “On that street,” he echoed. “How do you know where he parked? We haven’t found his car yet...”

Romeo straightened at the change in Josh’s tone.

“Do you know where his car is?” Josh asked. “Do you know where he parked?”

When Romeo didn’t immediately answer, Josh kept up his questioning.

“Where are you? Where are you flying from?”

Romeo said nothing.

“You’d only just got back from your getaway, and you’ve managed to fly out of the country, only for your returning flight to be cancelled, all in the space of eight hours.”

“What are you implying?” Romeo replied coldly.

“If I find out you had anything to do with what happened to Chad, if you... I’ll...” Josh exhaled a breath that sounded like it passed through gritted teeth.

Romeo narrowed his eyes. “You’ll what, Detective Constable?”

“He’s been through enough.”

“I know what he’s been through. I’d never do anything to hurt Chad.”

When Josh said nothing, Romeo checked the phone to make sure they were still connected.

But Josh had ended the call.

Chapter Five

Romeo didn’t sleep that night.

He paced round the house before that got tedious and he paced outside of it, circling their house at first before expanding his relentless march to include the outhouse. The raven didn’t appear, but his nape itched like it watched him from somewhere.

Mercutio walked at his side, whimpering softly.

Romeo resisted the urge to smash the phone in his grip.

His calls and texts to Josh were going unanswered.

He tried to convince himself Josh was asleep or had turned his phone to silent, but he knew better than that, Josh was ignoring him, had possibly blocked him.

Romeo stopped.

Mercutio kept going before noticing and scuttling backwards to Romeo’s side. If it was a trap, they had the means of finding Romeo. He held it in his hand. But no police cars had screeched up the dirt track that night and there were none on the horizon.

Which meant truth.

Which meant Chad was hurt in the hospital and Romeo couldn’t go to him.

He didn’t go to him.

Chad had been right there, and he’d walked away.

He’d left him.

“No,” Romeo growled at himself. “It was foolish.”

He’d let emotion get the better of him and it had gifted Josh their car.

Chad was a survivor—he had been since Romeo had trapped him on his farm all those years ago. He would be okay. Romeo believed it, but he had to make sure he stayed okay.

He had to make sure Chad had a life to come back to, and forcing his way into his hospital room was a sure way of destroying him and Chad in the long run.

It was his job to make sure Chad had a life to come back to.

“Come on,” Romeo said. His voice came out gravelly. “Let’s get you breakfast.”

The sun had started to appear on the horizon, hitting the fog lingering on the fields, making it look as if he was surrounded by pools of gold.

Romeo didn’t feel its warmth on his back when he went inside the house.

He led Mercutio into the kitchen and filled up his bowl. He collapsed down on a kitchen chair, propping his head up with his hand, and closed his eyes.

He swore to himself he only shut them for a few seconds, but his arm slipped, his head jolted, and he blinked back into the present. Mercutio had curled up in his bed, and orange shone through the slats of the kitchen blind.

The need to text and call Josh itched at him, but he couldn’t handle being ignored again. He couldn’t risk blowing up and leaving Josh a threatening voicemail.

Mercutio’s ears pricked, and he lifted his head. Romeo frowned, then ten seconds later, he heard it too. A car. Romeo’s heart picked up, and out of nowhere he thought of Chad, like he was the one driving up the track road. It was impossible and stupid, but Romeo was beginning to learn that about having a heart, it wasn’t always rational.

Romeo snatched up his phone about to check the cameras, but it was dead.

“Shit,” he hissed, getting to his feet.

He shut Mercutio in the kitchen and went upstairs, not risking even a glance out of the window.  

He’d already compromised them enough.

Romeo narrowed his eyes at the sound of a car door opening, crunched steps across the gravel, the scratch of a key, then the front door flew open, striking the wall.

“I’m sorry, bud!”

Romeo stiffened at Josh’s voice, so different to the tone he’d used on the phone to Romeo. He rushed into the house, flinging the door to the kitchen open too.

Mercutio yipped and yapped, and there was the distinct sound of the mutt knocking into things as he greeted Josh.

Chad had told Romeo Mercutio adored Josh, and the feeling was mutual.

It was quiet for a moment, then Romeo picked out the sound of dog food being poured into a bowl. Romeo snorted softly. Mercutio was enjoying a double helping of breakfast with the soundtrack of apologies from a breathless Josh.

“I’ll be right back.” Josh said.

Romeo backed away from the stairs, stepping as quietly as he could, but the floorboards creaked. He hurried into his and Chad’s bedroom before slipping into the bathroom. Josh’s feet pounded the stairs, taking two at a time, he was suddenly there, on the other side of the door.

Romeo listened as drawers were pulled open, and he managed to peek through the gap in the ajar door. Josh was packing a bag, presumable for Chad. Which was at the least, some kind of positive. Romeo clung to it, grounding himself for a moment.

“I haven’t gone anywhere, bud,” Josh shouted as he packed, flinging in underwear and socks. Romeo’s gaze darted towards the sink in the bathroom.

Chad’s toothbrush and deodorant spray were there.

He didn’t have a convenient shower curtain to hide behind.

If Josh came into the bathroom...

Something sharp prickled the back of Romeo’s skull.

He almost gasped.

The monstrous part of him had stirred. It sunk its teeth in and filled Romeo’s brain with a static buzz. He dug his nails into his palms as his fists shook.

If Josh stepped into the bathroom, if Josh saw him, Romeo would have to kill him.

Have to ... like it was forced upon him, but the reality was different.

The monster wanted Josh to open the bathroom door.

Under his breath, he encouraged him to.

Romeo’s eyelids fluttered with just the thought of it.

He wanted that moment where their gazes would lock, and Romeo would be on him in a heartbeat.

If Josh ventured inside, he’d be able to justify it to Chad.

He had to kill him.

It was them or him, the same way it had been them or Lucinda Hastings.

Chad would understand.

Romeo would be apologetic, downplay how good it felt to spare Chad’s feelings.

Even if it hurt him, he’d understand, and Romeo would finally get to quench his thirst.

Josh was on the other side of the door, completely unaware Romeo was there, falling into a trap set by the monster, because the monster’s voice was loud, and it nipped away at Romeo’s barely there control.

It had been so long since he killed anyone.

And there was someone right there.

Alone.

Unaware.

And it would be so easy.

Josh didn’t need to open the door.

Josh didn’t even need to lock eyes with him.

Romeo could step into the bedroom and do it.

Josh was keeping things from him about Chad. He was refusing to answer Romeo’s calls and texts, and if Romeo wanted an update on Chad’s condition, he could get it.

He could make Josh tell him all he knew before killing him.

But Chad loved Josh.

Romeo knew he did, also knew it was different from the way he loved Romeo, there was no competition there, yet Romeo still hated that he wasn’t Chad’s everything.

The monster taunted Romeo with thoughts that he could be if he took out the people closest to Chad.

He could be Chad’s everything.

Chad wouldn’t have to know how it went down. Romeo would just tell him he had no choice. Josh found him. Josh realized who he was. Josh was about to ruin everything.

Except Chad would ask what happened, and Romeo had sworn not to lie to him.

They weren’t to lie to each other.

He’d have to admit to Chad he didn’t have to kill Josh, but the want had just been too much.

Romeo exhaled a slow breath through pursed lips and pushed the monster away.

His need faded but didn’t go all together.

“We’re done,” Josh said, zipping up the bag on the bed.

Paws clattered up the stairs.

“You’re staying with me,” Josh told Mercutio. “Until your dad’s better.”

Josh left the bedroom, clacking his tongue for Mercutio to follow. Mercutio waddled towards the bathroom door until Romeo opened it enough to shoo him away.

“Bud!” Josh called.

Mercutio went, and a minute later the front door slammed.

“Fuck,” Romeo hissed, dropping down to a crouch.

He stared at one of his open hands. His palms bled from where he’d dug his nails in, trying so hard not to give in and strangle Josh, but he’d resisted temptation, even with the opportunity to kill, he resisted for Chad.

Because it was the two of them against the world, and he wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize what they had.

****

Updates on Chad’s condition were slow.

Josh never called or texted Romeo again.

But Romeo found another way, using his charm on a hospital receptionist to get updates. She couldn’t go into any details over the phone, but he’d explained that he was a concerned former colleague of Chad’s from Canster and needed to know if he was all right.

Serious but stable.

When he asked for details of his condition or what led to him being there, she shut down, hurried to end the call.

Romeo was no closer to finding out what had happened that day.

Why had Chad parked up at the side of the road?

Why had he been at the fishing lake and how had he come to be in the water?

His eyes stalled on Mercutio’s bed.

Five days had passed since Josh had come to collect him, and although he wasn’t as fond of the mutt as Chad, he did miss the distraction of having him around. The house was unnervingly quiet, except the living room, where the TV was on the news channel in case there was a report about what happened.

The TV had arrived the day Josh took Mercutio, along with a food order Romeo had made. Both had been left outside for him to get once the delivery drivers had gone. He put all the food away then flipped through the recipe book to find one of Chad’s favorites as if his return home was imminent.

Stupid, irrational heart, Romeo thought, snapping the book shut. 

The advantage of having a house in the middle of nowhere was no one questioned the lights being on, no one was in a position to see them. Romeo didn’t advertise he was there, but he cooked, he cleaned, he worked out, he tried to do all the things he usually did when he would wait for Chad to return, but this wasn’t a day, he didn’t know how long it would take before Chad walked back through the front door.

The sun rose outside, but not for Romeo. His existence was dark, and bleak, shrouded in uncertainty.

He tried to make himself believe Chad was coming home to him soon, but each day without him felt like a lifetime.

Seven days after Chad hadn’t come home, his car did, driven by an unknown man.

Another car followed behind him.

The driver of Chad’s car parked in front of the house, climbed out, then locked the door. He strolled out of range of the cameras, but Romeo’s heard the snap of the letterbox and the clang of keys hitting the mat.

The man came back into view, strolling over to the car with its engine running. He climbed into the passenger seat, and it reversed violently, flinging up gravel as it turned around to leave.

Romeo hurried downstairs and snatched the keys off the mat. The key itself wasn’t damaged, but Chad’s keyring, some video game beaver that reminded Josh of Chad, was ruined. Water had gotten inside of the plastic and made the ink run.

Chad must’ve had the keys on him when he was in the water.

Romeo headed out to Chad’s car, unlocking the driver’s side and slipping inside. It was still warm from the driver, and he grimaced.

Chad’s phone was no longer on the passenger seat but had dropped into the footwell.

Romeo grabbed it. Predictably, it was dead.

He pocketed the phone, then glanced around the car for clues.

They’d driven home from their getaway before lunch. The sun visors were both still drawn in the back to hide Romeo’s identity.

Nothing was out of the ordinary.

He sighed and leaned over to open the glove box.

Romeo froze at the rattle. He blinked, reaching inside and pulled out a box.

He stroked his thumb over the label as his breath caught.

Temazepam.

“What the fuck?”

He yanked out his phone, and googled the medication, blinking when he found it was a drug for insomnia. Romeo scrolled down, eyes widening at the list of side effects.

Dizziness, clumsiness, diminished awareness, high temperature.

There was no direction of use from the doctor stuck to the side of the box, nor was there a receipt from the pharmacy where Chad had signed for the prescription.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Romeo whispered.

The blister pack inside had four missing capsules.

He shook his head, checked the glove box again, then under the seats just in case Chad had kept something else from him.

There was nothing else in the car, and Romeo climbed out, stalking back towards the house.

He placed the box in the center of the kitchen table, flaring his nostrils slightly as he plugged Chad’s phone into the charger.

Chad was taking sleep medication, and he’d kept it from Romeo.

He needed answers, and Romeo hoped Chad’s phone held them.

As soon as it had enough charge, he was on it, kneeling on the floor to keep the wire connected, he tapped in the code for Chad’s phone.

He checked the messages first, and at the top there was Frank, followed by Josh, Ally, Keeley, Faye, and then came the random numbers that had gotten hold of Chad’s number.

The threats, the insults. Chad blocked the numbers but hadn’t deleted the messages.

His call log was full of unknown numbers, too, but they were red, suggesting he hadn’t answered. Romeo grew cold at the sheer number of them. Thirty minutes didn’t go by without Chad getting a call, and his voicemail had backed up with messages.

He knew they’d be the same as the texts—threats and insults.

Chad knew better than to listen to them.

Romeo took a deep breath, swiping the call log away. He tapped Chad’s phone against his chin, wondering where next to check before opening up the internet and finding out what Chad had been looking at.

There were articles about him. Holly Stevenson’s damning exposé was the first page that opened, but it wasn’t the only one. Chad had tabs upon tabs of articles about himself open, tearing into him, shaming him, and there was that word again. Monster.

“Is that what you did,” Romeo shook his head. “Did you park at the side of the road and read all these ... did you walk around the lake?  Did someone see you, recognize you, attack you?” Romeo shivered.

He had to push away thoughts of Chad being forcibly dragged into the water, a gang of people surrounding him, shouting and screaming.

He opened Chad’s photos and there were pictures of the cottage they stayed in, the beach, and Mercutio. There were no pictures of Romeo. Chad knew he had to be careful, but there were pictures that indicated he wasn’t alone on the trip, that Frank was there with him.

Two coffee cups.

Two pairs of trainers on the mat.

Their hands entwined when they’d been snuggling on the sofa.  

Romeo’s chest ached.

There were no clues when Romeo logged into maps, no sign he had searched for the lake. He hadn’t needed a navigation app to get to Josh’s place, he could drive there in his sleep.

There was nothing other than evil articles, evil messages and evil voicemails.

Why did he stop?

Why did he get out of the car?

How did he end up in the water?

Romeo was about to give up, but a folder on Chad’s home screen caught his eye. He hadn’t named it as such, it just had a question mark beneath the brown folder icon.

Romeo frowned and pressed his thumb against it.

There were two pictures.

One of a man.

It was a headshot that had been cropped from a bigger image. He was smiling. He had long hair, some of it tucked behind an ear. His eyes were brown, and his cheeks were round with his smile. He was leaning back slightly, and the image had blurred, like he’d been moving, like he was mid-laugh. He wore a football shirt and held a can of lager in his hand.

Romeo didn’t recognize him.

He swiped his image away and looked at the other picture.

It was of a woman.

Again, it had been cropped from a bigger image.

She had long brown hair, smoky eyes, and pale pink lipstick. She wore a black V-neck top, sparkly earrings, and had an expensive looking bag hooked over her shoulder.

Like the man, she smiled at the camera, but there was no blur.

She was crystal clear, and the lighting was different.

Whoever the people were, they hadn’t been cropped from the same picture.

Romeo didn’t recognize her either.

There was no other information in the folder, just the faces of a man and woman.

Romeo exhaled in frustration, clicking on the images for the details.

It didn’t say where Chad had gotten the images from, but it did say when they’d been added to the folder.

The man had been added four months ago, and the woman, six weeks ago.

Romeo slumped. Whoever these people were, he doubted they had anything to do with Chad ending up in hospital.

They weren’t anything to do with Harriet Hastings, that much Romeo knew, which meant they were most likely part of a case Chad would never get the chance to solve.

He frowned when Chad’s phone began to ring with an unknown number.

Romeo bit his lip, then answered.

“You’re going to hell for what you did!”

Romeo didn’t get a chance to reply, the caller hung up.

He turned the phone off and drummed his chin into his knee as he stared into space.

He was no closer to finding out what had happened to Chad.

His own phone buzzed with a message from Josh.

If you cared about him, you would’ve dropped everything the moment I called you and been here for him.

The words cut, and although he wanted to bite back, he didn’t.

Romeo switched off his phone.

Chapter Six

Two weeks after Chad had been taken to the hospital, he woke up.

Two weeks after that, the receptionist informed Romeo Chad had been discharged and had gone home to continue his recovery.

Romeo hadn’t wanted to argue on the phone that she was wrong, he wasn’t home.

He’d thanked her before ending the call.

It was only due to her Romeo had kept his sanity. He called every day, and although she was vague, she informed Romeo when Chad had woken up, that the doctors were pleased with his progress, and he was responding well to treatment. Romeo was unsure what the treatment was, but Chad responding well could only be positive.

He’d tried to keep busy, doing all the things he usually did, and had even visited The Harley in search of answers. The taxi driver had been right. It was a well-maintained fishing lake—no rotten wooden platforms or dangerous steep edges. Romeo had strolled around the lake, donning his beanie hat instead of a cap and his thin-framed glasses as his disguise. He didn’t rouse any suspicion. The fishermen were too focused on the morning bites to notice him lurking close by.

He even managed to strike up a conversation with a season ticket holder who had been there the Sunday Chad hadn’t come home. He told Romeo there was no incident, no one fell or was dragged by a baying mob into the lake. Romeo had frowned but hadn’t protested the man’s version of events. He might’ve been telling the truth, or he might’ve been protecting the fishing club’s reputation.

It was a mystery, but became less important when Romeo discovered Chad had been discharged. He could ask Chad what had happened once they were reunited, and if he needed to hunt anyone down and destroy them, he would.

If Chad wasn’t coming home yet, then Romeo had to think of where he would go for the first part of his recovery.

Josh’s place was too small, Chad told him he lived in a one bedroom apartment, so that left Ally’s house.

Romeo found the address on Chad’s phone and called a taxi to pick him up at the end of the dirt track.

He didn’t stop outside of Ally’s house but got dropped half a mile away at a crossroads. Just like he and Chad, Ally didn’t have any neighbors. Her house was set back from the main road. It was a modest size for one person and had a garage with a wooden door. The paint had flaked, the wood had swelled and split, and it was long overdue for a re-do.

Romeo recognized Josh’s car in the driveway. The ‘best uncle’ car sticker Chad had bought him on behalf of Mercutio caught the sun. It had been meant as a joke present, but Chad had said Josh had beamed and immediately stuck it to his car. Beside Josh’s car, there was another, presumably Ally’s car. It was purple, badly scratched and dented with a hubcap missing.

She had appointed herself as Chad’s unofficial mother figure and Romeo still wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

She thought she understood Chad, but she was wrong. 

Romeo’s eyes flicked to the sign on the gate.

Beware of the Dog!

Followed by a picture of a snarling Alsatian.

Chad had never mentioned Ally having a dog.

But as Romeo scanned the area, he noticed there was more than one sign warning of a savage canine on the property. Some were staked directly into the ground, and there was a decal warning about a biting bitch stuck to the front door.

Romeo’s heart skipped at the sound of a bark, then he sagged, recognizing Mercutio. A big, savage Alsatian might have caused problems, but Mercutio was harmless.

Garden gnomes covered the front garden, most of them rudely gesturing to anyone who dared to walk up the path to the front door. Romeo wasn’t stupid enough to knock on the front door, he didn’t go anywhere near it.

He kept out of sight, rubbing his chin as he thought what to do. All the windows at the front of the house had net curtains drawn, so he walked in a crouch, following the four-foot-high fence round the property until he was directly behind the house.

There were knots in the wood, small holes, and splits, and Romeo tried out many before he found one that gave him exactly what he wanted, a view into the house, or more specifically, Ally’s sunroom.

He could see Ally, and the side of Josh’s head, and when he shifted, he saw him.

The relief almost dropped Romeo to his knees.

A fierce ache took over his chest.

Twenty-eight days of torture came to an end when he saw Chad.

The Juliet to their forbidden love story.

The smile that spread Romeo’s lips ached, it was a shaky, brittle thing.

“There you are,” Romeo breathed.

Chad was sitting on a chair with Mercutio lying across his knees gnawing a chew.

Romeo didn’t know what he was expecting, some obvious sign Chad had been hurt—bruising, a shaved head, visible stitches—but there was nothing. His brown hair had four more weeks’ growth, and maybe he looked a little paler than normal, but that was all.

Chad stared out of the window to the bottom of the garden. Ally and Josh didn’t look, though. They faced each other, locked in a conversation Chad wasn’t a part of.

“I’m here,” Romeo whispered. He twisted his hand into his t-shirt in front of his heart. “I’m right here, Chad.”

He wondered whether that was the reason Chad was staring so intensely, either sensing Romeo was close, or just hoping. Either way, Romeo decided to put him out of his misery.

He stood up, revealing himself, no longer spying though a gap but locking eyes with Chad across the top of the garden fence.

Chad’s jaw dropped open, and Romeo’s lips twitched until he couldn’t stop his fragile laugh escaping.

Chad was there. Chad was alive.

The nightmare was over and the sun would start rising again.

Romeo’s eyes burned as Chad’s never left his.

Then Chad stood up, knocking Mercutio off his lap, and pointed.

“Shit!”

Romeo threw himself down, breathing hard.

“What the hell...”

His eyes darted, and he listened intently as the sunroom doors opened.

He moved in a crouch, rushing by the fence.

Mercutio yipped and yapped.

Then Josh called out, “Anyone there?”

Romeo kept going, rushing away from the house with his heart in his throat.

Josh called out again.

Romeo slumped beside a tree on the opposite side of the road, panting, mind a whirl.

He shouldn’t have revealed himself.

Chad probably couldn’t make him out clearly and that was why he raised the alarm, but Romeo kept seeing it in his head, that expression on Chad’s face when he’d pointed.

It looked a lot like fear.

****

He needed to get to Chad.

Romeo was waiting for the right opportunity, but Josh and Ally didn’t make it easy on him. They didn’t leave Chad alone, and whenever Ally had to go out, Josh showed up first with Mercutio and took over watching Chad.

One time while Romeo was spying on the house, Chad and Ally got into her car and left. Romeo couldn’t get a taxi back to him in time to follow and he watched them go with a sinking sensation in his gut.

They returned two hours later. Romeo had hidden in the trees, and there was a moment Chad had paused before going inside. He’d looked back, scanning the trees on the opposite side of the road. Romeo didn’t reveal himself for a second time.  

Ally had wrapped an arm around Chad’s back and led him into the house.

Romeo knew it was only a matter of time, and he needed to be patient.

Ten days after Chad was discharged from hospital, thirty-eight days since he hadn’t come home that night, Romeo got his chance.

Josh had gone inside with Mercutio.

Ten minutes later, Ally left.

Romeo knew where she was going. Ally only left to go food shopping and returned with a trunkful of groceries Josh had to help carry into the house.  Most of it ended up in the outside bin, burnt or spoiled. Romeo had checked.

He’d become a stalker, sometimes not going home for a few nights so he could spy on the house in the hope of getting his chance.

Josh stepped out of the front door with his phone pressed to his ear. Romeo perked up, studying him and the anguish on his face. Josh rubbed his eyes, then glanced over his shoulder into the house. He nodded, before agreeing with whatever the person on the other end of the phone was saying, then he hung up.

“I’ll ... I’ll be back in ten minutes at most,” he yelled into the house. “Just don’t... Mercutio will take care of you, okay?”

Chad must’ve replied because Josh snorted and closed the door behind himself.  He hesitated, hand on the door, frowning, seemingly fighting some desire to stay.

“Go, just go,” Romeo encouraged under his breath. “Leave.”

Josh made his decision, rushing to his car. He climbed inside and pulled the car out of his spot.

Romeo had been waiting for this moment. He’d barely slept, or ate, since he’d been obsessively watching.

They couldn’t keep Chad from him forever.

He made sure no cars were visible even in the distance before jogging to the other side of the road.

Josh had shut the door, but he hadn’t locked it.

Romeo didn’t hesitate, he stepped inside Ally’s house and closed the door behind him.

“That was quick,” Chad said, then he appeared in the hallway.

His jaw dropped again, and his eyes widened.

Romeo wanted to pull Chad into his arms, to hug him, shake him, demand to know what had happened and shut him up for good with a long kiss.

He did none of those things.

He stood there, pushed his own wants and needs aside, and looked at Chad. 

There was no warmth in Chad’s gaze, only shock, and a flicker of fear contorted his brow. He tried to speak, but only a sharp breath escaped him as he inched backwards, putting more and more distance between them as he struggled to get his voice to work.

“I saw you,” Chad managed on a whisper. “At the end of the garden.”

Romeo whipped his gaze back and forth across Chad’s face. His stomach churned, and the prickle of unease at the back of his neck turned to stabbing.

Chad’s gaze lacked all recognition.

“They didn’t believe me,” Chad said. “Ally drove me to see my therapist, thinking I’d imagined you, but here you are.”

Romeo swallowed, but the lump in his throat stayed put. “I’m Romeo—”

“Yeah, Romeo Knight,” Chad interrupted. “I described what you looked like to my therapist, and she suspected I’d imagined you, except with longer hair,” he backed up a step. “You’re dead ... apparently.”

“I’m not dead.”

“No shit,” Chad retreated further, and Romeo hesitated before following. They’d moved into the kitchen, and Chad reached towards the counter. His movements were slow, but clumsy as his hand hit the bread bin, then a glass. He didn’t grab it through, he kept sliding his hand along as he tried to put distance between them.

“She said I’m confused,” Chad continued. “That it’s understandable with a brain injury as severe as mine.”

Romeo found his voice. “You’re getting better, that’s what the receptionist told me. You were responding well to treatment, well enough to go home,” he glanced around the room. “This isn’t your home, Chad.”

“Where is my home?”

“It’s with me.”

Chad shook his head. “They told me about you, and I... I watched that documentary.”

“Of course you did...” Romeo muttered.

“You took me, you trapped me in your farmhouse.”

“That was a long time ago.”

“I don’t remember.”

Chad hand knocked the knife block. He pulled out the biggest one. It was a slow action, deliberately so, and he watched Romeo, waiting to see what he’d do. Romeo didn’t react. Chad didn’t launch at him with the knife but held it in front of himself.

“You’re a serial killer, and they all think you’re dead, but you’re not.”

“I’m not.”

“You’re a danger to society.”

Romeo’s mouth twitched with a smile. “Yes. I am. But you keep me under lock and key. You keep the monster on the chain.”

Chad flexed his eyebrow. “Monster?”

Romeo lifted his hand slowly, broadcasting his intention as he reached for the back of his head. “In here. There’s a monstrous part of me. It’s been there as long as I remember, gnawing away at my sanity until I gave in. Satisfying that part of me, it makes me feel like a god.”

“You’re not a god.”

Romeo continued, “It’s addicting, and I crave it, even now I crave it.”

Chad flashed the knife at him. Romeo’s smile dimmed.

“Not you, though, I wouldn’t satisfy that craving with you. You’re special to me.”

“Am I a monster too?” Chad asked.

Romeo hesitated. The press, the public, they’d labeled Chad as a monster.

“That’s a yes then—”

“No. It’s a no. You’re not a monster, Chad.”

“Then why do I feel like one?”

Romeo had no answer for that.  

“Why do I feel wrong?”

“You’re not wrong, you’re perfect.”

“Says you,” Chad sneered. “The serial killer.” His gaze darted away, then stuck to Romeo again. “You killed innocent people.”

Romeo resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “There are no innocent people. There’s good and bad in all of us, and I don’t weigh up one person’s misdeeds with another’s. I kill without bias, not valuing one life over the other. It was all about the opportunity, the right set of circumstances, that led to a kill. Until I met you at least.”

Chad sucked in a breath. His hand shook, and the blade edge danced a reflection up the wall. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Romeo bit his tongue, silencing himself. It wasn’t the right moment to reveal all about his and Chad’s arrangement, not when Chad looked like he was barely keeping it together.

It was no longer just Chad’s hand shaking, his whole body quaked. Tears filled his eyes and dropped onto his pale cheeks.  Romeo took a step closer, wanting to pull him close, embrace him in a tight hug, but Chad shot back, raising the knife.

“Don’t you dare touch me.”

“Chad...”

“Don’t!”

Romeo raised both hands in surrender.

“Why are you here?” Chad demanded, stabbing the knife in Romeo’s direction. “To finish me off?”

Romeo frowned. He shook his head. “I want to take you home.”

“I don’t have a home. I’ve never had a home.”

“You do. It’s with me.”

“No,” Chad snapped. “That’s not true.”

“You just don’t remember.” Romeo said softly, lowering his eyes.

He closed them.

It made sense.

Chad hadn’t immediately found a way of contacting Romeo the second he woke up.

He didn’t come home the minute he was released.

He’d pointed at Romeo at the end of the garden, drawing Ally and Josh’s attention to him.

There had been shock in his eyes, fear in his expression, not the love Romeo was familiar with.

This Chad was wild, cornered, shaking himself apart as he kept Romeo at bay with the knife.

“I don’t understand,” Chad said. “Ever since I woke up, I’ve felt wrong,” he touched his head. “They think it’s the injury, but I know it’s something else and it’s to do with you.”

“What did the doctor say?” Romeo asked, reopening his eyes. “About your memory.”

Chad blinked. It dislodged the tears in his eyes which rushed down his cheeks. “He said to give it time.”

“Time?”

“It could come back.”

Romeo’s heart squeezed in his chest. “Could?”

“Could,” Chad confirmed. His breath hitched. “But I don’t think I want it to, not if it involves me and you.”

“We love each other.”

“Get the hell out,” Chad snarled. He slashed the blade through the air.

“We do,” Romeo stood firm, unflinching. “You fucking love me, Chad.”

“No—”

“And I love you. It’s me and you. It’s always going to me and you, us against the world.”

“Shut up,” Chad said. He held the blade out with one hand and clawed the other one through his hair. His face scrunched in pain. “This can’t be real.”

“It’s real.”

“I don’t want it. I don’t want you.”

Mercutio took that moment to bound in from outside, through the sunroom, and into the kitchen. Chad gasped, dropping down to hold Mercutio back, to block the dog from Romeo. He looked horror struck, terrified as Mercutio struggled free and crashed into Romeo’s legs.

“Don’t hurt him!”

“Like I would.”

Romeo crouched down, and fussed Mercutio who licked long stripes up his face. Mercutio’s tail moved in a fast blur, and he yipped and yapped as he greeted Romeo.

“Enough with the tongue,” Romeo said sternly. “Sit.”

Mercutio did.

Chad watched with wide eyes.

“Good boy,” Romeo said, scratching Mercutio’s head. “I’ve missed you too.”

“I... I want you to leave.”

“Chad—”

“Please, I just...” he shook his head. “I don’t want this.” He gestured wildly to Romeo. “Whatever this is, whatever it was, I don’t want it, not anymore.”

“You can’t remember, that’s all—"

“Then I don’t want to!”

Romeo got to his feet. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do. I don’t want anything to do with this, to do with you, please,” his brow tightened in pain again. “If you care about me, leave me be, let me go.”

Let him go.

Inconceivable.

But Chad had made it complicated.

If you care about me.

Romeo clutched the back of his neck. He squeezed hard, fighting with himself.

If you care about me, leave me be, let me go.

“Please,” Chad begged. “Let me go.”

Romeo turned around and left the house.

Chapter Seven

Romeo didn’t get another taxi to Ally’s house.

He stayed home, still able to use Chad’s bank accounts to buy food and get it delivered.

That wouldn’t last forever.

Six days had passed.

Six long days where Romeo didn’t notice whether the sun rose or not and he didn’t care either way.

If you care about me, leave me be, let me go.

And they were the cruelest words Chad could’ve spoken because they pitted Romeo’s emotions against themselves. He loved Chad more than anything, more than his desire to satisfy the monster in his head, and above all else he wanted Chad to be happy.

Letting Chad go might give him the greatest chance at achieving that.

Josh had told him on the phone there was damage to Chad’s brain, particularly in his hippocampus. Romeo had not spared the region of Chad’s brain much thought. It was damaged, and it would get better, that was all Romeo could focus on.

Chad had to get better, there wasn’t an alternative.

The hippocampus dealt with memory and emotions. Of all the places in the human brain, it had to be there. An incident had taken Chad’s memories of him, had pulled them right out of his head.

And all he knew of Romeo now was what he’d read, watched and heard since he’d been discharged.

Chad had asked—pleaded with tears in his eyes—for Romeo to let him go.

He didn’t want to remember.

The thought of remembering Romeo made him shudder.

It made his eyes round, and wet, and dart with fear.

Romeo closed his eyes, pushing back into the sofa. The house was ominously quiet around him, and Chad’s words kept repeating in his head.

His demand to be let go.

Romeo took in a deep breath.

Could he do it?

Could he let Chad go?

He thought he could, if Chad would be truly better off without him.  

That was love, wasn’t it?

Selfless.

He exhaled a long breath.

Romeo had brought darkness to Chad’s world. He’d corrupted him, made him lie and deceive. It was his fault the detective had been taken from Chad. If he hadn’t voiced his opinion on Vincent Whitehall’s undiscovered victim, things would’ve played out differently.

Chad wouldn’t have had to kill Lucinda Hastings.

He wouldn’t have lost his job or been vilified by the public, press, and his fellow police officers.

Let me go.

Romeo didn’t know if he could, but he could try—for Chad’s sake he could try.

But to do that, he needed a distraction.

One strong enough to push Chad from his mind.

Romeo opened his eyes.

He needed the monster.

****

Chad had always been super cautious about Romeo going out in public.

Romeo’s lure in the beginning, when he’d been The Countdown Killer, had been his attractiveness. He was well groomed, wore a smart suit, and presented himself as a handsome man in desperate need of help at the side of the road.

For some he was sexually appealing, others, it was what his clothing represented, his status that drew them to him. There were a few times Romeo was offered a ride by someone who eyed him with the desire to steal from him. Only one had tried, though, and the exchange ended with the guy receiving a black eye and Romeo strolling away as if nothing had happened.

Not everyone stopped for the attractive businessman in need of help. Many passed by, either convincing themselves someone else would help, he deserved whatever plight he found himself in, or simply been too distracted by their own lives to notice him waiting on the grass verge as they approached.

Romeo no longer looked like that well-groomed man. He didn’t resemble his mugshot anymore. His hair was long enough to tuck behind his ears, usually wild and unkempt from walking in the windy fields.  It matched his rugged stubble.

A scar tugged at one of his eyelids, pulling it down, exposing the pink flesh of his eye socket. Sometimes that was enough to put people off looking too closely at him.

The suits had been traded in for t-shirts and a brown bomber jacket.

He was more muscular than he had been with thick biceps and thighs.

His jeans were dark blue, tight on his legs, and he wore walking boots most of the time.

Romeo looked different. He could see it when he looked in the mirror. He preferred how he looked now—it felt comfortable, felt like home.

It was Chad who panicked about him being recognized. Chad couldn’t not see The Countdown Killer and assumed everyone would see him too.

Maybe if they were looking, they would.

Maybe a permanently suspicious person like Ally would see through his new face to the mask he used to wear.

Maybe someone as protective as Josh would eye every man with a hint of skepticism.

But they were detectives close to Chad.

Normal, average people didn’t notice. The taxi drivers hadn’t. The fisherman didn’t. Everyone he passed while he walked around the hospital had turned a blind eye.

And as Romeo climbed from the car, stepping out onto the pavement on a busy Friday night, not one person saw the killer.

And the monster relished that.

There were two nightclubs on the street, both three stories high and at opposite ends.

The Desperado and the newly opened Goddess.

Romeo had stood outside The Desperado before when Chad was investigating a case.

He’d been inside it, too, when he attended the villains theme night and seduced Chad in the restroom.

He shook his head. He wasn’t thinking about Chad. He had to push him out of his mind. If he went inside The Desperado, he’d relive that night with Chad—he’d buzz with the memory.

Romeo turned away and strolled towards Goddess.

Blue neon lights twisted and twirled out the name of the night club.

Where The Desperado was painted black, Goddess was white.

It was still early in the night, and no queue had formed.

Romeo walked inside unchallenged.

The floor was blue, same as the walls and the ceiling, but the ceiling at least had lights dangling down, surrounded by cutouts of clouds. There were gold chains hanging down, too, glistening as the lights from the dance floor struck them.

There were no tables, but plenty of seating, plastic benches molded into cloud shapes. A neon light guided the way to the toilets, and on either door, a god had been painted.

Zeus and Athena.

Romeo narrowed his gaze at Zeus for a moment before backing out of the corridor and returning to the bar area. A staircase led to the next level and a sign on the wall stated that the floor above was only for those at God and Goddess status, in other words, VIPs.

Romeo moved to the bar. The shelf above the bottles had various props—a bow and arrow, a lightning bolt, a golden apple, wings. All trinkets associated with Greek Gods.

“What can I get you?”

Romeo had been so distracted running his gaze along the props, he hadn’t noticed the barman’s attention on him.

His heart began to thump.

He knew that face.

Black hair, black stubble, dark eyes.

The edge of Romeo’s lips quirked.

It was the face of Chad’s wannabe savior.

Dean, Romeo remembered, and Dean just so happened to be on Romeo’s list.

There was no bias when it came to killing, not for the monster, but for Romeo, there were exceptions, people he’d thought about strangling the life out of and enjoyed the daydream on an intimate level.

“Urm...” Dean snapped his fingers. “Are you with me?”

Romeo blew out a breath, scanning all the bottles on the wall behind. “Just a pint of beer.”

“Don’t I get a please?”

He’d said that before, Romeo remembered, so Romeo replied in the same way he had all those months ago.

“No. You don’t.”

Dean cocked his head. “Coming right up,” He sighed, turning his back on Romeo.

Romeo stalked up behind him and waited with his elbow on the bar.

This man had tried to take Chad from him. Maybe he’d been subtle in his approach, maybe Chad had been too blind to see it, but Romeo had.

“Been working here long?” he asked.

“A few months,” Dean replied. “I didn’t like to stay in one place for too long, was part of a company that rushed bar staff wherever they were needed, but then Olivia, my boss, offered me a permanent place here,” he shrugged. “I thought it was about time I settled down.”

“And have you?”

Dean glanced at him. He raised an eyebrow. “Have I what?”

“Settled down.”

Dean placed the pint on the bar. He scrunched his brow. “I guess...”

“With someone.” Romeo clarified.

“Oh. No. Not yet.”

“Haven’t found the right guy?”

Dean narrowed his eyes. “Who says I’m after a guy?”

Romeo snorted, and leaned his mouth down to take a sip of beer.

“You haven’t paid.” Dean snapped.

Irritation twitched his nose. He didn’t like Romeo, and Romeo as sure as shit didn’t like him.

“My apologies.”

Romeo reached into his pocket and pulled out a note. He slapped it down on the counter. Dean stared at the back of Romeo’s hand until he lifted it, revealing the note. There was a flicker of something on Dean’s face.

“That should cover it.”

Dean shifted his jaw. “Actually, you’re a few coins short.”

Romeo snorted as he reached back into his pocket. He pulled out his change, sorted it in his hand, then dropped it on the bar. A few coins bounced and rolled away.

“What the hell is your problem?” Dean asked, laughing in disbelief.

He gathered up the coins and the note then stashed them in the cash machine. He slammed the drawer shut, shaking his head.

“You want to know about my problem?”

Dean crossed his arms. “Not particularly, but if it explains why you’re acting like such an asshole, I want to hear it.”

“I have... I had a boyfriend. I love him. I love him more than anything, but he’s scared of me. He’s asked—pleaded for me to let him go,” Romeo lifted his beer. He took a gulp. “And maybe ... maybe I know I should, maybe it’s the right thing to do but I don’t want to. I really fucking don’t want to.”

Dean shuffled. His face was serious, and he lowered his voice. “I think if he’s asked you to let him go, that’s what you need to do.”

“Weren’t you listening? I don’t want to.”

“It’s not about what you want—”

“Why isn’t it? Why can’t it be?”

“Because of what you just told me. You love him. And sometimes loving someone means letting them go.”

“But then when I think about it, really think about it, letting him go.” Romeo ground his teeth. “The thought of someone else swooping in, trying to play hero and taking him away for good,” he shook his head. “I can’t stand it. It fills me with a rage I struggle to contain.”

Dean’s gaze flicked over Romeo’s physique, taking him in. His Adam’s apple thudded.

“I think,” Dean said slowly. “You’ve got to respect his wishes, and accept you weren’t meant to be.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Romeo exhaled a long breath. “It’s the right thing to do, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“And what do I do in the meantime?” he gestured to the mostly empty club. “Come to places like this, drink, dance, distract myself.”

“You do whatever you need to do to get through it.”

Romeo smiled. “You give good advice.”

Dean grinned. The tension that had been steadily mounting between them dissipated.

“Well,” Dean dusted his knuckles on his t-shirt. “I do try.”

“But you’re going to regret it.”

Romeo snatched his beer off the bar, and retreated to one of the uncomfortable looking benches, gaze never leaving Dean.

Dean watched him back until the snap of impatient fingers pulled his focus away, and the club, minute by minute got busier until there were too many bodies between them for Romeo to continue his stare.

****

He doesn’t deserve to die.

They were Chad’s words about Dean.

Romeo heard them more and more each pint he drank.

In his head, Romeo replied.

No one deserves to die. That wasn’t how life and death worked. It wasn’t a case of being deserving of a life or not deserving of a death.

The Chad in his mind rolled his eyes.

Romeo lowered his gaze.

He missed him. He missed him so much he thought the loss might tear him in two. If that happened, the monster would escape completely, and all the party goers around him would be in danger.

He shook his head.

Killing Dean would help, he was sure of it.

The lights dimmed, and the volume of the music increased as the hours passed.

Goddess heaved with people, and Romeo had retreated to the back wall, leaning against it as he took in the club.

Dean was too distracted to think about him anymore. The queue never thinned out in front of him, and he was constantly leaning over the bar to catch the order of whoever was waiting to be served.

Dean was on his list, but he’d not actively sought to kill him. Fate had dropped him in Romeo’s path. Romeo didn’t worry himself over semantics like whether Dean ‘deserved’ it or not. All he knew was he was going to enjoy it that little bit more knowing it was him.

This wasn’t waiting at the side of the road for the right opportunity to present itself.

He’d chosen his victim already, and there was something new and exciting about that.

Romeo got to watch his prey over the course of a few hours.  He watched him smile, and tip back his head as he laughed. He noted how Dean poked his tongue out of the corner of his mouth when he concentrated and kept glancing back to the clock on the wall.

Dean was obviously well liked, smiling welcomingly at all who came to his section of the bar. There was a tips jar chained to a pillar beside him, and notes were shoved inside of it, some even sticking out of the slit at the top.

Romeo had watched Chad talk to Dean inside The Desperado, and the jealousy that had reared up had rooted him to the floor. He’d wanted to kill Dean just for speaking to him, for smiling at him. Chad had tried to tell him Dean was looking out for him, he was a nice guy, but that only made Romeo hate him more.

Romeo despised nice guys, particularly those that made it look so effortless.

Chad deserved a nice guy, and maybe if Romeo walked away, left the nightclub, Chad would somehow find his way into Dean’s arms.

Romeo crushed the plastic cup in his grip. Beer shot up, soaking the sleeve of his jacket.

Dean gestured to someone at the other end of the bar. The woman nodded in reply, then hurried towards him, taking over Dean’s section as he squeezed behind his colleagues to exit the bar.

He stepped out, making his way across the crowded room, smiling brightly, accepting arms around his neck, and high fives as he made his way towards the toilets.

Romeo pushed off from the wall and pursued.

He’d noticed the cameras when he’d first come inside. One covered the entrance, one the dance floor, and the third covered the back door. No camera covered the corridor to the toilets, and there were enough bodies jumping and swaying, Romeo managed to avoid the one pointed at the dance floor.

Dean pushed open the Zeus door then disappeared inside. Romeo followed. His palms itched, and his fingers tingled.  If his monster had a face it would’ve been frothing at the mouth.

The toilets were not empty like he’d hoped, but two men were using the urinals.

Dean pushed into a cubicle and locked the door.

A third urinal was unoccupied between the two men, but Romeo didn’t take it. The guy closest to Romeo finished first. He washed his hands, and Romeo stepped aside to allow him to leave. The second man, bigger, burlier, raised a questioning eyebrow at Romeo still standing by the doorway.

Romeo shook his head.

The man washed his hands and stepped out. Romeo followed him back into the corridor and grabbed onto his bicep. “A hundred pounds in cash if you stop anyone coming in for the next five minutes.”

“W...what?”

“You heard me,” Romeo said, reaching into his jacket. He pulled out a few notes, not bothering to count them. He pushed them at the man until he took them. “Half now, half when I come out.”

Romeo didn’t wait for a response; he went back into the toilets just in time to see Dean leaving the cubicle.

Dean froze.

“You...” Dean said.

His brow furrowed.

“Me.” Romeo replied.

Then he was across the room, monster snarling so loud he thought Dean might be able to hear it too.

Some people struggled and fought, Romeo never felt their blows, the adrenaline rush was too intense, and others were so shocked by what was happening, they didn’t react, they immediately went into a helpless state.

Dean was the latter.

He froze, wide-eyed, as Romeo closed his hand around his throat and squeezed.

It felt good, so good, Romeo’s lashes fluttered and his blood burned.

He didn’t need to use two hands—he’d perfected strangling the life out of someone with one. He had enough strength he could lift Dean off the floor. It put strain on his whole body. Chad thought Romeo held their victims like that to show off his strength, and it was partly true, but he liked the stretch, and the burn rushing up his arm into his chest. His heart had to double its efforts at the same moment someone else’s was stuttering to a stop.

Dean spluttered.

Fight and flight seemed to kick in, but it was far too late for that. He gripped onto Romeo’s arm with both hands, but it was weak, pathetic even.

It only increased Dean’s panic when he realized he couldn’t save himself.

His life was now Romeo’s, and Romeo slowly distinguished it, watching with heated dark eyes as Dean’s rolled back. Dean’s face turned red, his cheeks bulged, and his paling lips opened with his last desperate gasps for air.

It was addicting, no doubt about it, power inducing in a way Romeo could never describe with words. You could only feel it, through hands, through arms, through the thudding heart in the chest. It was a physical thing, like something rising up within him.

Then he looked back over his shoulder. Or the monster looked back. Romeo didn’t know which part of him made the decision or why, but for some reason he looked back expecting to see Chad behind him.

Chad’s dark eyes, heaving chest, and twitching fingers. His look of want so palpable Romeo could feel his lust in waves.

He wasn’t there, and it wasn’t the same.

His high at taking a life had evolved to include Chad. He was part of it, the ritual, the moment.

It was still there, the rush, but Romeo knew it could be more, it should be more.

He wanted more.

The monster did too.

“What ... what are you doing?”

Romeo let go.

Dean hit the ground.

Romeo turned to face the man he’d paid to watch the door. His bottom lip trembled in reply to Romeo’s expression. He’d stepped into the toilets, but kept his back to the wall, flashing looks at Dean motionless on the ground.

Romeo didn’t wait to see if he was dead or not.

It just wasn’t important.

He dropped the remainder of what he owed on the toilets floor, then strolled away.

Let me go.

He couldn’t.

He’d tried to do the right thing and let Chad go, but his right didn’t coincide with everyone else’s.

Before Chad had become his Juliet, before they’d moved to Bardhum, before Romeo had realized how deeply he loved Chad, there had been him, a barn, and a handcuffed Chad.

There was a rake, and an incapacitated little magpie.

Because that’s all Chad had been in the beginning, just another magpie.

Romeo nursed him back to health, forced a bond between them, one that only grew stronger as time went by until it turned into something beautiful.

There were monsters, and there were magpies.

And there was a fragile truth about magpies Romeo had learned long ago.

Their legs could be broken.

Their wings could be clipped.

They could be ... confined.

Their behavior could be ... adapted.

It was a cruel thought to some, but monsters thought differently.

They were excited by the idea.

Monsters couldn’t be broken, or molded.

They were born.

They could only get more monstrous or die.

Manipulating an injured magpie, one that he’d so cruelly tormented by crushing its eggs year after year, making it reliant on him until it became his only friend.

That was ugly.

Evil even.

Chad was a magpie.

Romeo was a monster.

That hadn’t changed.

All Romeo needed to do was catch him.

Chapter Eight

When Chad had set his heart on getting a dog, Romeo couldn’t deny him.

Romeo knew how important Toby, Chad’s childhood labrador, had been to him, but it still caught him by surprise when he found the leaflet in the kitchen drawer. 

Romeo had read about Mercutio, formally Gary. He’d looked at his picture, a skinny looking thing, for a long time, and had felt nothing.

Pets were not his thing.

The magpie he’d taken care of after finding it with a broken wing, was not his pet.

It was his experiment.

Romeo didn’t hate animals, he just didn’t feel anything towards them, which was true of most people too.

But Chad felt empathy for both.

He wanted to please both.

And the written sob story, and the photograph of Mercutio not looking his best, had worked on him.

Those big grey eyes had sucked Chad right in.

But Romeo wasn’t as convinced. Looks, as he knew from his own reflection, could be deceiving.

Chad’s jaw had almost unhinged at the chains and padlocks Romeo had bought in preparation of their new arrival.

He’d demanded Romeo keep them in the outhouse and told Romeo they were adopting a sweet timid boy, not a werewolf.

Romeo never imagined he’d be opening those boxes, pulling the chain free, knowing he was about to use it on Chad. He’d packed supplies onto the backseat of Chad’s car, mainly clothes, tins, bottles of water, food, toiletries, blankets, money—lots of money.

He still had control of Chad’s bank accounts and withdrew money from different cash points all over town.

He knew he had to take Chad away, he couldn’t do what he needed to do in their home, not when Ally and Josh were bound to show up to check up on him.

Romeo had already planned it out.

He was going to catch Chad, chain him up, then send a message from Chad’s phone to Ally and Josh saying he needed space and was visiting an old colleague from Canster.

In reality, Romeo had booked a four-week stay in the cottage they’d gone to by the sea—secluded, private, away from everyone. It would be just him and Chad, like at the beginning.

Romeo found a spare set of handcuffs in the bottom of the wardrobe. Chad’s official pair he’d had to hand in, along with his detective’s badge and his ID card.

Romeo had seen the hurt in Chad’s eyes when he’d returned from the station that day.

He added the cuffs, along with the chains and padlocks to the trunk. The sun visors across the windows remained pulled back and he threw a blanket over all the supplies on the back seat.

The cage was ready, Romeo just needed Chad to fly home so he could catch him and force him into it.

It was inevitable.

In fact, it surprised Romeo it hadn’t happened sooner, but Chad had to come home at some point.

Six weeks after he hadn’t come back to Romeo that day, Chad came home on a different one.

He wasn’t alone, but Romeo hadn’t expected him to be.

Ally and Josh were there, Mercutio, too, who rushed around the house in a happy dance.

Romeo watched the camera feeds on his phone from the outhouse. He paused when he heard Mercutio snuffling at the bottom of the door, but then Josh called him away and he went with a yip.

They disappeared into the house, and Romeo exhaled, knowing he had to wait.

It took an hour for Ally and Josh to leave.

Romeo frowned when he saw Mercutio leaving with them.

He’d thought Chad would want him there, but he hopped onto the backseat of Josh’s car and sat for Josh to pet him on the head. Ally stood by the passenger door, rubbing her fingers over her lips as she stared at the house.

Romeo didn’t know if Chad was on the doorstep, the camera didn’t cover the front door, but he heard a mumble through the outhouse door, then Ally replied, “You damn well better be.”

Josh shut Mercutio in the back, then turned towards the front door. “You need us. You call us.”

Ally nodded along. She stepped towards the house, shaking her head. “This... I’m staying, okay? If you don’t want me to stay in the spare room, I can sleep on the sofa. Let me sleep on the sofa.”

Romeo flared his nostrils. “Get in the car...” he murmured, cracking his neck.

“It’s not about where you sleep, Ally. It’s about me needing some time on my own.”

“Chad...” Ally said, sounding exasperated.

Chad stepped into sight of the camera, the barest sliver of his profile appearing on screen. His reassuring smile hit Romeo with ten tons of longing.

“I’m fine,” Chad said. “You don’t have to babysit me anymore.”

“We’re not babysitting you,” Josh said, moving to stand side by side with Ally.

“Look, it’s not that I don’t appreciate it, I really do, but the thing is...” Chad lowered his head, “The thing is, I can’t take another day of your awful cooking.”

Josh laughed, knocking his shoulder into Ally who wiped her eyes.

“You ungrateful little shit.” Ally muttered.

“That’s me,” Chad smiled, but it faded. “I know, guys, I know, but I’m okay. I’m feeling good. Ready.” He looked back to the house. “I’m going to go inside, run myself a bath, then relax in front of the TV.”

“I’m going to call you later,” Ally said. “And you better pick up, Chad. I mean it. If you don’t, I will be moving into your place for the foreseeable future.”

“I’ll pick up,” Chad snorted.

“She means it,” Josh added, glancing down at Ally.

“I know she does, now go,” Chad shooed them. “I’ll speak to you later, Ally, and I’ll call you tomorrow, Josh.”

Josh and Ally shared a look, then both nodded.

They took their time climbing into the car, much to Romeo’s annoyance. Ally had already thrown a curve ball at his plan by demanding Chad answer her call that night.

Romeo didn’t know how to tackle that particular problem, but first things first, he needed Ally and Josh to leave so he could set his plan into motion.

Josh honked the horn three times before taking off down the track road.

Then it was just him and Chad.

The monster and the magpie...

****

Romeo waited for as long as he could stand it before leaving the outhouse. He stepped carefully across the concrete, wincing with each step. It was late afternoon, but there was still enough light peeking over the horizon for him to see.

He got to the front door, retrieving his key from his pocket. He expected Chad to have locked it after going back inside, but the door opened on his first try. Romeo frowned, shoving his key back into his jacket.

He eased the door open, then paused to listen. The downstairs was dark, but he could see light from around their bedroom door at the top of the stairs.

The tap from their ensuite thundered as Chad filled the bath.

Romeo exhaled, stepping inside.

The tap was loud enough to drown out his footsteps. Even the creaking floorboards couldn’t be heard above the roar of water from the bathroom. Romeo snuck right up to the bedroom, slipping inside with his gaze locked on the bathroom door.

He’d worried about catching Chad—didn’t want to hurt him, or for there to be much of a struggle—and a vulnerable unexpecting Chad getting ready for a bath gave him the perfect opportunity to snatch him, and grab him from behind.

Romeo held his breath, inching the bathroom door open.

He blinked.

Chad wasn’t there.

“I knew you were here somewhere,” Chad said from behind him. “I could feel it.”

Romeo stiffened, flexing his face in annoyance. So much for sneaking up on Chad.

Clever Magpie.

He slowly turned, and found Chad, fully dressed, and holding another knife. One of Romeo’s knives, and he knew they were wicked sharp. He knew because he sharpened them on a block in the kitchen.

“You couldn’t just let me go.” Chad forced through his teeth.

His eyes were wet again, but angry, narrowed to slits and his hand trembled around the knife handle.

“No.” Romeo said, holding his hands up in surrender. “I couldn’t. I won’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m selfish, and you and me, we’re meant to be.”

Chad didn’t reply.

Romeo glanced back when water spilled over the edge of the bath. He sighed, walking backwards so he could reach the taps, and twisted until the water stopped flowing.

“You didn’t tell them.”

Chad squinted. “Tell them what?”

“About me. I strolled, easy as anything, into Ally’s house, The Countdown Killer, and you didn’t tell them. There’s no alert on the news ... no police cars screeching around searching for me. They haven’t rushed you off to some safe house—not that anyone can stop me from finding you.”

“When I told them I saw someone at the end of the garden, spying on us, they thought I was seeing things. They drove me to my shrink on the same day, and I had to sit there while she stared at me in mock sympathy, trying to get me to ‘open up’.”

“Keeley’s a good therapist.”

Chad closed his eyes in a long blink. He shook his head. “Because of course you know her name...”

“I know everything there is to know about you, Chad.”

“No.” he said firmly. “You don’t.”

“What do you remember? About who you were? About Bardhum? About Ally and Josh? About anything?”

“Pieces,” Chad whispered. “Pieces that don’t fit together. It doesn’t make sense. I don’t make sense.”

Romeo frowned at that. “Are there pieces of me?”

“Yes.” Chad’s brow twitched. “They’re the most confusing of all. That’s why you should leave.”

“That’s not going to happen.”

Chad squared his shoulders. “I’m going to give you one chance. Only one. Leave. Let me go and don’t come back.”

He flicked his head to the side, as if gesturing Romeo out of the bathroom.

“That’s very ... irresponsible of you.”

“Irresponsible?”

“Letting a serial killer go free.”

Chad flexed his fingers around the handle of the knife. “I’m not a detective anymore, they told me that much. I know that much. The public ... they’re not my responsibility anymore. I don’t owe them anything.”

“You never did owe them.” Romeo studied Chad. He was breathing hard. He avoided looking Romeo in the eye. “What if I refuse to leave?”

Chad’s nostrils flared, but he didn’t answer.

“Will you call the police?”

“I’m giving you this one chance—"

“Or will you stab me? Will you drive that knife into my heart?”

“If you force me to. Yes.”

Romeo closed the distance between them. Chad didn’t shuffle back. He held the knife higher, and his eye twitched as he stared Romeo down.

“You can’t kill me. You love me too damn much.” Romeo leaned his face closer. “So, here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to put that knife down, then you’re going to come with me.”

“Come with you?”

“Away from here. It’ll be just you and me again. Like in the beginning.”

“Beginning of what?”

“Of us. I’ll help you put the pieces back together.”

Chad pressed his lips in a grim smile. “They don’t fit.”

“They do.”

“I won’t go with you.”

Romeo sighed. “Then we have to do this the hard way.”

Chad opened his mouth to retort, but his teeth snapped shut when Romeo surged at him, clutching his arm. They struggled, stumbling back. Romeo’s hand slipped up Chad’s arm to his wrist, in range of the knife. Chad jerked his hand forward, and the point cut deep into Romeo’s thumb muscle. He hissed, releasing his hold, but Chad ripped the knife across Romeo’s palm before he could yank his hand clear.

“Damn it.” Romeo growled, flexing his hand.

Chad slashed the knife, narrowly avoiding Romeo’s face. Romeo went at him again, grabbing Chad’s arms with both hands and twisting hard enough to rip skin.

Chad cried out.

The knife fell from his grip.

It hit the floorboards with a clang, and Romeo kicked it towards the window.

Chad pulled away from Romeo, but instead of going for the knife like Romeo thought he would, he went for the door.

Chad ran.

“Fuck,” Romeo growled, staring at his damaged hand. It stung. The knife had pierced deep, slashing through the delicate skin of his palm.

Another complication.

But it had to wait.

Romeo clutched his hand to his chest as he rushed out of the room in pursuit of Chad. Romeo stopped at the top of the stairs, staring at a frantic Chad seemingly searching the hallway for something.

He whirled around. “Where the hell are they?”

“What?” Romeo asked.

“My car keys.”

“They’re in my pocket.”

“Of course they are!”

Chad laughed, then lashed out, kicking the bottom step. As soon as Romeo could reach him, Chad took off again, rushing into the kitchen.

“You need to calm down,” Romeo told him as he followed.

Blood snaked down his forearm from his hand.

It dripped from his elbow onto the floor.

Chad ran a hand through his hair, pacing the opposite end of the kitchen.

Romeo kept his distance.

“Hand them over.” Chad finally said, coming to a stop.

He didn’t look towards Romeo.

“Hand them over?” Romeo replied, eyeing his gaping slit. Chad flashed the wound a glance, then looked quickly away. His breath came in pants. His gaze darted all over the place, but not towards the knives or anything else he could’ve used as a weapon.

Romeo squinted. “I know you’re not squeamish. You’ve seen plenty of violent deaths.”

Chad shook his head.

“But what is it about my bloody hand that makes you uncomfortable.”

“All of you makes me uncomfortable,” Chad choked on a breath.

“Is that the real reason?”

Chad seemed to struggle with himself, then blurted out, “You’re a god damn serial killer and you’re in my house—”

“Our house.”

“This is bullshit,” Chad grabbed a fistful of his hair. “This isn’t real.”

“I assure you it is.”

“I don’t want it.”

The words stung more than his hand.

“I don’t care what you want. I care about what I want, and what the monster wants.”

Chad brow folded in confusion. “Monster?”

“And what we want is our Chad back.”

“That’s not happening,” Chad whispered. “It can’t.”

He opened the back door. Romeo’s shoulders slumped as Chad threw himself outside, stumbling as he landed at an odd angle before he ran.

Romeo exhaled through his nose and did the only thing he could.

He went after Chad.

Thick mud slowed Chad’s escape. It had rained days before, but the field still oozed and squelched as Chad’s feet sunk into it. He didn’t try to get around Romeo, he ran straight, and it was miles until the field ended with a deep ditch, and then a road.

Romeo could make him out in the darkness, stumbling, weakening. All Romeo had to do was wait until Chad couldn’t continue.

Romeo didn’t run, but his pace was brisk, he knew where to walk, where the earth was firmest. He knew how to avoid the biggest puddles, the ones that sunk Chad almost down to his knees.

Chad groaned, pulling himself free.

Romeo continued to stalk him, gaining ground without exerting effort.

Romeo clutched his hand high up his chest. When the wind blew at him, when it brushed against the flaps of skin no longer connected in a singular piece, it burned.

It burned so fiercely he bit back a growl.

“Let me go.”

“No.”

Chad gasped, stopped, and clutched his head in both hands.

Romeo widened his eyes.

Chad swayed, then dropped to his knees.

“Shit.” Romeo mumbled, picking up the pace.

It was only six weeks ago Chad had been hurt. His brain had been damaged. And there was Romeo, stalking him like he was prey until he collapsed from utter exhaustion.

He gripped Chad’s shoulder before he could face-plant in the field. Chad tried to push him away, but he was weak, unsteady as he pitched forward, clawing at his temples.

“Don’t hurt me.” he gasped.

Romeo closed his eyes. He dropped down to his knees beside Chad.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Chad.”

Chad lowered his hands from his head. His eyes searched Romeo’s.

“I’m going to make everything better,” Romeo promised.

He cupped Chad’s cheek with his good hand, and the relief of him not pulling away made him laugh.

It made him splutter.

“Trust me, okay?” his throat tightened.

Chad watched him for a moment, then began to nod. Romeo brushed his thumb against Chad’s face, nodding too and the warmth in his chest was so intense he couldn’t feel the wind on his face or the slice in his hand.

Chad’s eyes sharpened.

Romeo frowned, mouth opening soundlessly, and then there was pain, a dull throb to the side of his skull and he tipped over, flailing as he lost his hold of Chad.

He collapsed on his side, consciousness wavering, but with just enough awareness to lift a hand to the side of his head and run clumsy fingers through the wetness soaking into his hair. Chad was no longer kneeling, he stood over Romeo, emotionless, with a bloody rock in his hand.

“I don’t trust anyone.”

Romeo closed his eyes and exhaled a long breath as consciousness slipped fully out of grasp.

Chapter Nine

Pain woke Romeo from unconsciousness.

Not from his hand, or even his temple where the rock had made contact, but his throat. He swallowed hard before he’d even opened his eyes and found pressure digging into his Adam’s apple. His cough didn’t ease it. It made him more aware that something pressed against his throat.

Romeo reached for the tightness as his eyes fluttered open. His clumsy finger got caught on the thing around his neck. It was cold, hard, and linked.

“Shit,” he murmured, stroking his fingers against the thick chain. He followed it around until he pushed at the padlock at the back of his neck.  

Chad had put a collar on him.

The chain was too tight to slip his fingers beneath, it dug into his flesh and made panic rear up. He fought with the instinct to thrash and pull and took a calming breath through his nose as he glanced around.

He was in the outhouse, and the chain that was attached to him was also padlocked to the middle column of his one-piece gym. The smell of earth surrounded him, and his jeans were covered in mud, some dried, some still wet. He turned his head, and his temple throbbed.

Chad had tricked him.

Chad had hit him with a rock.

Romeo had underestimated him.

“More than a magpie,” he murmured, shaking his head.

The pain in Romeo’s hand began to sting. It burned, like a rash, the fire spread down his arm. The wound was messy, and a twitch of his thumb made it bleed.

“Chad...”

“I’m here.”

Romeo shifted his back against the bench press he was propped up against. Chad sat on a chair facing Romeo, breathing hard. Mud was up to his knees. There were smears of it on his face and sweat on his forehead.  He wiped his arm across his brow.

“You’re heavy,” he said with a snort.

“You carried me?”

“More like dragged.” Chad looked away. “I got your keys out of your jeans, was going to run, but then I saw all the stuff on the backseat ... and in the trunk,” he gestured to Romeo. “Help me put the pieces back together? That’s what you said you wanted to do—”

“I do—”

“That involves chains and padlocks does it?”

“It does,” Romeo replied.

He stroked the chain around his neck. Then he laughed, he laughed until Chad frowned, and shook his head.

“What’s so funny?”

“You’ve had a chain around the monster metaphorically for a long time, but now it’s around me, too. Now it’s physical.”

“I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.”

Romeo sobered. “You tricked me. You pretended you were hurt.”

Chad didn’t respond.

“Stupid,” Romeo hissed at himself. “Stupid emotions. You tricked me and I fell for it. That’s what love does. It makes you do foolish things.”

“You don’t love me.”

“I do, Chad.”

Chad shook his head. “You’re a psychopath, and psychopaths can’t love.”

“Says who?” Romeo asked.

Chad blinked.

“Whether I am a psychopath or not...” he shot a sad smile at Chad, “it’s just not important.”

“You’re crazier than I thought you would be.”

This Chad wasn’t his Chad, nor was he the Chad he’d spoken to at Ally’s house. Romeo could see it in the way Chad studied him from the other side of the room, like he was a specimen. 

This Chad was different.

He was in control.

“What now?” Romeo asked.

Chad stared at him.

Romeo flicked his chin in the direction of the door. “There’s no sirens—”

“Doesn’t mean there won’t be.”

“You haven’t called them, though,” Romeo reached for the length of chain that connected him to the gym. Chad had given him roughly four meters. He eyed the space between them.

“You can’t reach me,” Chad said coldly. “And just because I haven’t yet called the police doesn’t mean I won’t.”

“You have a serial killer chained up in your outhouse and you’ve not called them?” Romeo raised an eyebrow. “What are you waiting for? Me to escape?”

“You can’t escape. Not without the key.”

“Why haven’t you called them?”

Chad rolled his eyes. “Your question is getting boring.”

“Maybe if you’d answer it...”

“I don’t want to call them,” Chad snapped. “Is that enough of an answer for you?”

“Not really. What’s going on in that head of yours? What do you feel when you look at me?”

Chad’s eye twitched. “A lot.”

“A lot?”

“I feel a lot, but none of it makes sense.”

“You have a brain injury.”

“Do I really?” Chad asked in mock surprise. “Thanks for cluing me in.”

“You can’t remember me, not yet, but you will.”

“Is that a threat?”

“It’s a promise.”

Chad smiled but it didn’t lift his cheeks let alone reach his eyes. “They tried to keep it from me for as long as they could, but I found out. One quick google of my name, and I found out, not just about you, but Marc, Tate, Lucinda, Vincent Whitehall. I mean, I only have to look at my chest to realize something happened to me.  There’s so much hatred directed at me and I look at you and I think maybe ... maybe you could be my redemption.”

“What do you mean?”

“I hand you over, and maybe it’ll satisfy the mob. I’ve made mistakes. People have died because of me, but maybe being the one who not only discovers ‘The Countdown Killer’ is still alive, but brings him to justice, I could win them over, be left alone.”

“It’s a possibility.”

Chad nodded. “But then I think. Why? I don’t owe them anything. I don’t need to please them, prove myself to them. If they’re so eager to turn their back on me, then I should be able to do the same to them without judgement. I’m not a police officer anymore. I’m just Chad and I have a serial killer chained up in my outhouse.”

He smiled, and this time it met his eyes. They shone as he got to his feet.

“And what are you planning on doing with me?”

Chad shrugged. “I don’t know yet.”

He crouched down then reached beneath his chair. Chad slid out a green zipped up bag. He pushed it across the floor, and it knocked into Romeo’s ankle.

It was a first aid kit.

More than a magpie, but definitely not a monster.

Romeo placed it on his lap and managed to unzip it one handed. There were bandages and wipes, and a pair of scissors.

“My hand ... it needs to be stitched.” Romeo said, but when he glanced up, Chad was leaving. “Hey!” he shouted, just as Chad slammed the door behind him.

Slammed it and locked it.

****

A long time ago, Romeo had tied Chad up in a barn. He’d left him there all night in the cold, and only returned in the morning after he’d soiled himself.

Romeo had not given much thought for how that must’ve felt for Chad until he was in the exact same situation, helpless, at the mercy of someone else.

He’d wiped his temple with an antiseptic wipe and attempted to do the same to his hand but it burned with a ferociousness that had the room spinning and his consciousness waning. He fixed the wound as best as he could, wrapping up his hand with bandages and rendering it useless.

Romeo had tried to pick the lock with the scissors, but the blades were too wide and doing anything one handed was difficult.

In the end, he’d slumped in defeat.

Hours passed, and he soon grew hungry, but he ignored the rumbling in his stomach. The intense pressure in his bladder was harder to shut down, and he knocked the back of his head against the bench press to distract himself.

Chad had left his hands free, and although he could pull down his jeans and relieve himself on the concrete, he didn’t like the idea of doing so and then having to sit there with the smell and shame of it. He didn’t want Chad to come back inside and see that he’d done it, which was ridiculous considering Chad was the one that had chained him up, giving him no choice.

He’d done the same thing to Chad all those years ago and mocked Chad for being unable to hold his piss.

Romeo sighed, struggling to his feet. The chain clanged, his head throbbed, but he managed to get his balance and take down his zipper.

Chad chose that moment to return, just when Romeo was about to relieve himself on the floor.

Romeo rarely got embarrassed. He didn’t even know what embarrassed was exactly, but the repulsion on Chad’s face when he stepped into the outhouse brought fire to Romeo’s cheeks. He bit his tongue to stop himself from launching curses at Chad, and wondered whether that uncharacteristic impulse was also due to embarrassment.

“What the hell are you doing?” Chad asked.

His eyes widened.

Romeo didn’t answer. It was pretty obvious what he was about to do.

Chad sighed, and placed the bucket he was holding in his hands on the floor.

He slid it over the concrete. It stopped just within Romeo’s reach. Inside there was a bottle of water, what looked like some cereal bars, and a toilet roll. Romeo emptied the contents on the floor before turning his back on Chad and using the bucket for its intended purpose.

Chad didn’t leave.

He waited until Romeo had finished, then asked. “How’s the head?”

Romeo gingerly prodded the lump by his temple. “It throbs.”

“And the hand?”

“It needs stitches.” He turned back to Chad and held his mummified hand for him to see. “I can’t stitch it on my own.”

“And I’m not stupid.”

Chad sat down on the chair again. Romeo sighed, adjusting his chain, then perched on the edge of the bench.

“You know,” Romeo said, glancing around the space. “I once chained you up in my barn.”

“I know,” Chad folded his arms. “It was on the documentary.”

“I wasn’t so kind to give you a bucket...”

Chad frowned, like he didn’t understand, so Romeo made it clear.

“You pissed yourself.”

Chad recoiled. He looked away.

“They left that bit out of the documentary.” Romeo said softly.

“You’ve seen your own documentary?”

“Of course. If only to listen to all they got wrong. All those detectives and psychologists trying to work me out. I found it amusing.”

“You smashed a rock against my head.”

Romeo prodded his temple. “I did. I should have seen this coming.”

“My rock is a bit special.”

Chad reached into his coat pocket and pulled it out.

Romeo stiffened.

The word monster was clear to see.

“I had it in my pocket,” Chad explained. “This and my car keys were all I had on me that day.” His brow twitched as he looked down at the rock, brushing his thumb against the word.

“Some asshole smashed one of our windows,” Romeo whispered. “It had a note attached.”

“What note?”

Romeo shook his head. “Some spiteful comment about you killing Lucinda Hastings.”

“I did kill her.”

Romeo ignored Chad’s words. “They smashed the window with the rock and stole the TV.”

Chad hummed. “That explains the TV. Josh said he hadn’t seen it before, said if he’d had known I was after a new TV he would’ve recommended one.”

“The TV I picked works fine, thanks.”

“They told me I’d gone on holiday with Mercutio and my ex-boyfriend, Frank.”

“Ex-boyfriend?”

Chad’s mouth twitched. “That’s how Josh describes him. Josh hates the man. Says he’s worthless scum and he’d make a better boyfriend.”

Romeo flared his nostrils. “Maybe I should’ve killed Josh when I had the chance.”

“Can you really blame him for hating Frank? He didn’t rush to the hospital. He vanished, abandoning me while I was at my most vulnerable...”

Romeo’s heart hurt. “I’ve been right here the whole time. I’ve been waiting.”

“You’re Frank,” Chad snorted. “The boyfriend I’ve not formally introduced to them...” He shook his head. “How is this even real? How can this...” he gestured between them, “be real?”

“We work. It didn’t happen overnight. There was compromise involved but we love each other.”

“How did that happen?” Chad hissed through his teeth. “How could I let myself fall in love with a killer?”

“Falling isn’t a conscious decision. If it was, it would be jumping. You fell in love with me, accidentally, against your better judgement, despite everything. And I fell for you in exactly the same way.”

“What happened that morning?”

Romeo didn’t need Chad to clarify. He knew Chad was talking about the day he hadn’t come home.

“It was our last morning at the cottage. We walked hand in hand along the beach with Mercutio. He kept running up to you, dropping his ball at your feet, then waiting for you to throw it. You handed it to me, though, because I can throw further. We went back to the cottage, packed our things, and then drove home, me in the back with Mercutio, you in the front.”

Chad squeezed his eyes shut. “This can’t be real, yet...”

“Yet?”

“If feels more real than everything else I’ve been told.”

Romeo continued, “We saw the window had been smashed when we got home. You locked Mercutio in the kitchen so he wouldn’t cut himself on the glass while I got the dustpan and brush to sweep up the mess. That’s when you found the rock.”

Chad looked down at it on his lap.

“I didn’t want you to read the message, but I couldn’t stop you. When your back was turned, I snatched it, balled it up and put it in my pocket, but I couldn’t find the rock,” he snorted. “You must’ve taken it.”

“Then what happened?”

“You got a call from Josh and made plans to go see him. You left.” Romeo lowered his gaze. “You didn’t come home. Josh called me to say you were at the hospital.”

“We didn’t ... fight? Row?”

Romeo frowned. “No.”

“It must’ve just all got to me,” Chad whispered. “And I don’t blame myself. It makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?” he glanced at Romeo like he understood the thoughts he shared. “This is too much for anyone.”

“Tate, Lucinda, Vincent, I know they were on your mind, and you were sick too.”

“Sick?”

Romeo bit his lip. He thought back to the box of capsules he’d shoved in the kitchen drawer.

Chad’s secret sleeping pills.

“You were taking medicine to help you sleep. They had side effects. You’d been reading horrible articles about yourself before you...” Romeo blinked. “Wait...” his head snapped up. “What happened? Why were you at the fishing lake?”

“Fishing lake?”

“You were parked close by. Josh said bystanders pulled you from the water. What happened?” Romeo got to his feet. He ran his hand through his hair. “Did you decide to go for a walk? Did you fall ... or did someone push you?” he closed his eyes and his head filled with his most disturbing nightmare. “Did they surround you? Did they drag you into the water and try to drown you?”

Chad didn’t answer.

Romeo opened his eyes.

He’d been so wrapped up in Chad losing his memory he’d stopped trying to solve the mystery of what had happened that afternoon, what had taken Chad’s memory from him in the first place.

“I will kill them all,” Romeo’s eyes burned. “If that’s what happened I’ll—”

“I wasn’t at a fishing lake.”

“I found your car.”

Chad looked at him blankly.

“You’d parked it close by to The Henley.”

“The what?”

“The fishing lake!”

Chad shook his head. “I don’t remember what happened that day, but I didn’t walk around any lake. I walked along the A14. I walked about two miles.”

Romeo frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“I was looking for the right spot.”

“The right spot for what?”

“To jump from.”

“Jump...”

The room began to spin. Romeo scrunched his eyes shut, shaking his head.

“The bridge.” Chad murmured, but his voice sounded far away, too far for Romeo to understand. “A witness saw me. He got me out of the river.”

It didn’t compute. “No. You didn’t jump.”

“Yes. I did.”

Romeo snorted. “That’s not possible.”

“That’s what happened. I jumped. A conscious action ... unlike falling.”

“No,” Romeo growled, surging forward. The chain cut into his throat, and he staggered back, falling to the floor. Chad got to his feet but didn’t retreat.

“I don’t believe it!” Romeo shouted. “You wouldn’t do that. This witness, whoever it is, they’re wrong. They did this. They pushed you.”

“I jumped.”

“You wouldn’t do that to me not unless someone forced you, someone put a gun to your head—"

“There was CCTV footage covering the bridge. It’s clear I was on my own. No one pushed me.”

Romeo’s chin trembled. He squeezed it until it stopped shaking.

“I don’t believe you.”

But the more Romeo thought about it, the more things started to make sense. Ally and Josh had kept Chad in their sights since his release from hospital. Josh had been vague on the details, wanting Frank to get to the hospital before revealing what had happened to Chad to put him there. He’d even suggested Frank might have had something to do with how Chad ended up in the water, like he was partly responsible and Chad ... he’d asked whether they’d had a fight or row that day before he got in the car.

“This...” Chad gestured between them, “whatever this is, it was obviously too much. I was a police officer for fuck’s sake, of course a secret like this was too much.”

“You promised me.” Romeo yelled. “It’s us. It’s always us.”

Chad’s smile was sad. “Maybe you didn’t know me as well as you thought you did.”

Romeo’s heart stopped beating in his chest. It turned to stone and cracked down the middle.

“Get out,” he murmured.

“What?”

“Get out!” he roared. And it wasn’t just him, it was the monster, too, filling his head, snarling and spitting. Romeo was hurting, withering in pain, and the monster came to his aid, flinging itself forward in Romeo’s skin.

Romeo grabbed the first aid kit, the bottle, the toilet roll, and threw them at Chad.

Chad scuttled backwards, pressing himself to the outhouse wall. His eyes were wide, and his mouth hung open.

“How fucking dare you,” Romeo spat, wrapping his hand around the chain. He yanked, again and again he yanked, until the screws bolting the gym to the floor began to wobble. “How dare you come in here and tell me that! How dare you smile at me and tell me I didn’t know you as well as I thought I did.”

“It’s what happened.” Chad’s voice shook. “I tried to kill myself.”

“No!”

“I did.”

“This isn’t real,” Romeo snapped. “It can’t be real.”

“I—”

“You wouldn’t,” Romeo dropped the chain, and shot in Chad’s direction. The chain yanked at his throat hard enough he choked, folding in half. He fell, spit left his lips as his knees hit the ground.

“No,” Romeo shook his head. “I don’t ... you can’t have.”  

“There was a witness. There was CCTV. I jumped.”

Romeo turned his back to Chad. His eyes burned. His chest felt like it was imploding. “We always said we’d go out together, but you tried to take yourself from me. How could you do that? How could you break your promise?” He touched the chain around his neck. He yanked. “You better hope this holds because I’ve never wanted to kill you more in my life, and if I get loose, I’m going to take my time. I’m going to make you feel pain like you’ve never felt before, like you’ve done to me.”

The door slammed.

Chad locked it behind himself and his footsteps pounded against concrete as he fled.

Chapter Ten

It took what felt like a day for the rage to settle in Romeo’s system. Every time he started to calm, he thought of Chad’s small smile and his almost coaxing voice.

Maybe you didn’t know me as well as you thought you did.

The anger blew up inside him.

He’d wanted to yell down that accusation, punish Chad for even suggesting it, but it rang true.

He hadn’t known about the sleeping pills in the car.

And he hadn’t even imagined Chad had been contemplating suicide.

Except he hadn’t just contemplated it.

He’d made an attempt, and it was only due to a witness that Chad was still alive.

Romeo wondered whether that was a cruelty within itself. If Josh had just told him over the phone Chad had died, he might have hurried to join him without getting his heart broken first. He shook his head. If Josh had told him that, he would’ve needed proof. He would’ve marched into that hospital not caring who saw him to see Chad’s cold lax body for himself. That would’ve broken his heart, too, regardless of whether it was Chad’s choice or not. His dead body would’ve destroyed Romeo, but this break to his heart he had to live with.

He wasn’t one for emotion, understanding or feeling them, but Chad had made him feel. He’d made Romeo love, and care, and he’d put Chad before the monstrous part of himself, pushing and squeezing his dark need to fit within the parameters he’d set because Chad meant everything to him.

But Chad had betrayed him. He’d betrayed Romeo’s love.

Chad was a liar, a god damn liar, and Romeo wanted to rip his throat out.

The number one emotion that came with that betrayal was fury. It itched his skin, and bubbled in his brain, drowning out everything else until one thought, one desire flashed in his head.

He wanted to kill Chad.

He, not just the monster, wanted to wrap his hand around his throat and he knew that would kill the last part of himself that belong to Chad, too, then it would be just him and the monster like it had been since he was a child.

A lonely, unhappy child with a need to kill.

But wasn’t that better than existing with a broken heart?

Knuckles tapped against the door. Romeo stiffened, wondering why Chad was even bothering to warn him he was about to come inside.

Romeo leaned against the backrest of the leg press with his gaze fixed to the door.

Chad stepped into the outhouse, and upon seeing Romeo’s glare, quickly looked away. In his hands he held a duvet, and he tossed it over. It unrolled enough for Romeo to see the pillow inside.

Chad disappeared again before returning with a washing up bowl. He slid it across the floor, but Romeo didn’t glance at it as it clanged against the equipment.

Chad bit his lip, then disappeared through the open door again. He took longer, and Romeo stared outside, taking in the dark sky. He knew from the temperature drop inside the outhouse it was nighttime again, but Chad had taken his watch from him when he was unconscious.

Chad returned ten minutes later holding a tray. Romeo’s nose twitched, and his stomach whined at the tease of food. Chad crouched as he set the tray down on the floor, sliding it close enough for Romeo to get if he wished to.

Romeo didn’t move. He kept up his glare, hoping it was enough to send Chad scuttling through the door.

“It’s beans on toast,” Chad said instead, avoiding Romeo’s eyes. “That’s about all I’m capable of.”

There were a few dishes Chad could do, but he didn’t have a passion for cooking and often got distracted when he tried. Romeo had struggled through more than one questionable meal made by Chad’s hands.

Beans on toast, though, as Chad rightly said, were difficult to get wrong, and Romeo felt like he hadn’t eaten in a week let alone a day. He pushed to his feet, and there was a twitch of a smile from Chad’s lips. Romeo strolled over to the tray, swung his leg and kicked.

The tray, plate and cutlery went everywhere. Beans splattered the floor and the shards of porcelain skidded across the concrete, knocking into the side of the outhouse.

Chad winced and curled away from him.

Romeo’s insides twisted into a knot at such a reaction.

He didn’t like it, even knowing this wasn’t his Chad—this Chad had smiled and said those damning words—he still had his Chad’s face and watching it tighten with fear wasn’t pleasant in the slightest.

Chad had not looked at him like that for the longest time. In fact, the trust Chad exhibited towards him sometimes made Romeo edgy.

Chad trusted Romeo more than Romeo trusted himself.

Or he had.

“I...”

“Get out.” Romeo growled, turning his back on Chad once again. He listened, but Chad didn’t move.

“Maybe I could’ve handled things better yesterday.”

“Yesterday when you told me my Chad tried to kill himself...”

“Your Chad?”

Romeo flashed a glance over his shoulder. “You’re not him.”

“I am—”

“You’re not. You’re what’s left behind.”

Chad took a deep breath. “I am him, Romeo.”

“Not in my eyes, and I don’t have anything to say to you.”

He hoped that was enough to get this Chad to go, but again, he stayed.

“And if ... your Chad was here, would you have something to say to him?”

He wouldn’t say anything, he’d scream and holler, beg, and demand, and it would all be the same question.

Romeo nodded. “Why... I’d ask him why?”

“From what Ally and Josh told me, Keeley, too ... I was struggling. I was barely sleeping, plagued by nightmares—”

“I know Chad had nightmares,” Romeo snapped. “I was lying next to him when he did. He said he heard voices, his tormentors, but he couldn’t recall what they were saying. I held him after every one.”

“You held me after every one.”

“No!” Romeo bellowed. “Not you.”

“Fine.” Chad shuffled uncomfortably. “From what I’ve learned, your Chad had a lot going on. A lot that might explain why he made that decision that day.”

“He didn’t call me, or send a message, or leave me a damn note,” Romeo lashed out at the rowing machine with his good hand. “Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do, leave a note.”

“Not everybody leaves a note. Keeley said she was concerned about me at my last session.”

“Then she could’ve stopped it!”

“I didn’t outright tell her of my intentions, she just felt something was off about me, something was different.”

“Why didn’t you tell me, Chad?” Romeo twisted around to look at him. “If you’re really him, then tell me, why didn’t you tell me? I thought you were happy—”

“How could I have been happy with all the shit going on—”

“Happy with me. I told you things would be okay. You kissed me like you believed it.”

Chad looked away. “I don’t remember that.”

“You lied to me. Why didn’t you just tell me how close you were? If I’d had known I would’ve...”

“Would’ve what?”

“Taken you away from here,” Romeo swallowed. “For longer. For good.”

Chad touched his temple. “It might not have helped what was going on in here.” He lowered his hand. “Would a note really have helped?”

Romeo thought about it. “No. I still would’ve been angry, and angry at myself.”

“For not knowing what I was planning?”

“No. For letting myself fall for my Chad in the first place.”

“Falling isn’t a conscious decision. If it was, it would be jumping.”

Romeo snorted bitterly. 

“You can’t blame yourself for falling,” Chad whispered. “Same way I can’t. No matter how much I want to run from it, I can’t.”

“Maybe so, but there was a time where I could’ve grabbed something on the way down, pulled myself clear,” he smirked. “I could’ve killed you and this,” he gestured to the outhouse, “would not be happening.”

“Maybe that would’ve been best for both of us, but fate has other plans.”

“Fate...” Romeo narrowed his eyes, studying Chad. “I’ve got a question for you.”

“I thought you had nothing to say to me.”

“Well, I do. Why keep me? Why are you not freaking out? Calling the police?”

Chad’s eyes tracked back and forth over empty space. “When I knew you were out there, but didn’t know where, that made me anxious, but now I know exactly where you are I feel calmer.”

“That makes no sense. I’m dangerous. Especially to you right now.”

“I know,” Chad shrugged. “But it doesn’t make it less true. I feel ... content now you’re here ... like this...”

Romeo flared his nostrils. “Chained up you mean.”

Chad winced. “I prefer to think of it as under control. I don’t want anyone to know I have you because they’ll take you away.”

“Why do you want to keep me?”

“Because ... I need your help,” Chad whispered.

“My help?”  Romeo tipped his head back and let out a savage laugh. “Too late.”

Chad continued like Romeo hadn’t spoken.

“There’s the Chad the press and public say I am, the monster, then there’s the Chad Ally, Josh and Keeley say I am, the good man. But something is missing, a secret Chad that I think only you know.”

“My Chad.”

Chad rolled his eyes. “The pieces of me that you refer to as your Chad, and I want answers too. I also want to know why.”

“You said it yourself—you had a lot going on, you were struggling.”

“That’s what they told me. They are upset I did what I did, but none of them are surprised. It was as if they’d been expecting it, and they act ... like I let them down, like I disappointed them.”

“You did.”

Chad flinched. “My ... my doctor told me memory is a fragile thing, but the brain is remarkable at healing itself. He warned I might not get everything back and what I do remember won’t be linear, it be will flashes, moments, smells, sounds, feelings. I can’t remember that day, but since I saw you over that fence, there’s been glimpses of us.”

“What kind of glimpses?”

“At first, they were terrifying. I saw your eyes ablaze. I felt your hand around my throat, I felt fear, panic, but the snapshots that followed were confusing. I dream of your lips and hands, and your name spoken by me, not in fear, but awed, overwhelmed. I catch smiles when I close my eyes, the sound of your laugh in other people’s. It’s you, and it’s terrifying because it’s you. I’m not comfortable with that, but I want to remember what we were and remember the reason or reasons why I chose to turn my back on us.”

“My Chad is a liar,” Romeo snapped, but it tugged at his wounded heart just saying it, “He kept things from me, and he broke his promise.”

“What promise?”

“When the time came, we would leave this world together. He promised me that, and I stupidly believed him.”

“I’m still your Chad.”

“You’re not. The second you decided to take yourself from me, you stopped being mine.”

“He’s coming back, Romeo, day by day. He is, I am, we are, however you choose to think of it, are coming back to you.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Romeo looked away. “I don’t want you—him—whatever anymore.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“The only thing that will take away even a sliver of this fury I feel for that broken promise, is watching your face turn blue as I strangle you to death.”

“You don’t mean—”

“I do. You’ve got a lot to remember if you don’t believe that. I want to kill you. It’ll be the highlight of my fucking life.”

Chad turned on his heels and left. Romeo closed his eyes and exhaled a long breath to the ceiling. He slumped when Chad returned only five minutes later with a bundled-up duvet in his arms.

Romeo cocked his head, then looked pointedly at the duvet at his feet, but Chad sat on the floor. He dropped his head on a pillow and pulled the other duvet over himself as he lay down.

“What the hell are you doing?” Romeo asked.

“What does it look like?”

Romeo narrowed his eyes. “It’s concrete.”

Chad shot him a clueless look.

“It’s cold, and it’s hard.” Romeo explained.

“I’ll be fine.” Chad yawned into the back of his hand. He snuggled the side of his face into his pillow and Romeo’s insides flipped at that very Chad action. On more than one occasion, Romeo had asked Chad whether he was searching for truffles inside his pillowcase.

“I don’t want you in here.”

“Tough,” Chad replied. “Goodnight, Romeo.”

Romeo sat down on the bench press, pulled the duvet over his lap, and propped the pillow behind his head. He watched Chad for what felt like hours, wondering whether he was faking sleep, but his expression had relaxed, and his lips were slightly parted as he took slow, deep breaths.

He looked peaceful.

Beautiful.

Romeo’s chest ached so fiercely his breathing stuttered.

Fate was a cruel mistress, but not as cruel as Chad himself.

It wasn’t fate that had broken his heart.

“Why?” Romeo whispered. “Why did you do it?”

He didn’t get an answer. He doubted he ever would.

“Did you even think about me? Did you not realize how much that would hurt me or did you just not care?”

Nothing.

Romeo squeezed his eyes shut.

****

It wasn’t a satisfying sleep.

The lights were bright.

The bench seat was uncomfortable.

The pillow kept slipping down.

And the outhouse was cold.

But every abrupt wake up, Romeo looked at Chad lying on the outhouse floor.

Relief hit him first, followed by anger at Chad, then anger at himself.

Love couldn’t be switched off no matter how much he tried, but it could be extinguished, as soon as Chad put himself within grabbing distance, Romeo would kill him.

The monster craved it perhaps more than he’d craved any murder before.

If Romeo had just killed him all those years ago, wrapped his hand around Chad’s throat and claimed him as number one, he wouldn’t be experiencing the pain of his heart having been ripped in two.

Romeo flung the duvet aside and stood up. He relieved himself in the bucket, then investigated the contents Chad had slid his way in the washing up bowl the day before.

There was another bottle of water, toothpaste, a toothbrush, shower gel, two ibuprofen, and a flannel. Romeo grabbed the flannel, only to be caught short by the book beneath.

It was a book of crosswords, not unusual—there was a shelf in the kitchen full of their mostly finished puzzle books—but this one was new. Romeo scraped his thumbnail over the price sticker, then fanned through the untouched pages.

Romeo frowned in Chad’s direction, but he was still asleep.

I’m coming back Romeo, day by day, I’m coming back to you.

Romeo dropped the book back in the bowl then shoved it away.

He took the ibuprofen, though.

Blood had stained the bandage around his hand. He winced as he unwrapped it. The bleeding had stopped, until he twitched his thumb the teeniest amount, then skin split, and any attempt by his body to clot and heal the wound came undone. He sighed and rewrapped his hand using his teeth to stretch out the bandage. It needed stitches. His fingers had begun to ache, and his whole hand felt stiff.

Chad didn’t wake.

Romeo ate one of the cereal bars Chad had given him the day before.

He ate a second one, a third, all while Chad slept on.

Chad hadn’t moved all night Romeo realized. His skin was deathly pale, and there was faint bruising under his eye from where they had struggled. Romeo surged to his feet, swaying slightly as he stared wide-eyed at Chad on the ground.

He was about to call out to him, demand he answer, but then a flicker of something passed across Chad’s face. His eyelids twitched, his eyebrows spasmed, then he settled again.

Romeo sat back down on the gym equipment with his head in his hands.

Worry was another emotion he couldn’t mute the volume on. No matter how hard he tried to force his emotions back and lock them away for good they slipped out, and it was completely unconscious, an action without thought, like breathing.

It took him a few minutes before he heard it.

The growl of an engine.

He lowered his hands as it got closer and closer tearing up their dirt track.

“Chad!”

Breaks squealed on the other side of the outhouse door.

“Shit,” Romeo hissed. He grabbed the shower gel and threw it at Chad. It hit him on the shoulder, and he grunted.

Chad’s eyes shot up, bloodshot and confused. A car door slammed shut.

Feet rushed over the gravel.

“Chad!”

It was Josh’s shout. He called out again, but it was muffled, like he’d gone into the house. Chad staggered as he stood up. Blinking blearily, he looked at Romeo then turned around and rushed out.

Chad locked the door behind him.

Romeo collapsed against the bench, heart racing.

He didn’t want to get found out, not yet.

Not until he’d satisfied himself and the monster by finally claiming his number one.

Chapter Eleven

Chad didn’t return with Josh in tow, and the car parked up outside didn’t take off down the track meaning Chad and Josh must’ve gone inside.

Romeo drank the water, used the bucket, then grabbed the crossword puzzle.

Chad had given him one recently sharpened pencil in the bottom of the washing up bowl. Romeo often grew exasperated with Chad for filling the puzzles out in pen, being so certain he had the right word before finding out later on he’d been mistaken. It led to a messy page and more often than not an abandoned crossword and a grumpy Romeo.

Chad was very good at apologizing and cheering him up again...

Romeo suspected Chad did it on purpose.

He wrapped the duvet around himself and began the first puzzle in the book.

By his tenth completed puzzle, boredom had morphed into throbbing temples and scratchy eyes.

It was infuriating not knowing how much time had passed, and Romeo wondered whether it stressed out Mercutio half as much as it stressed out himself. Chad never left Mercutio on his own for more than four hours. Romeo assumed he would be given the same treatment, but at a guess, five long hours had passed.

His ears perked at the voices outside, Josh and Chad saying goodbye to each other.

An engine rumbled to life, Josh called out goodbye a few more times, then left.

Romeo stared at the door, coiling like a snake, as he waited for Chad to reappear. He knew he was out there, standing on the concrete, no doubt making sure Josh had gone completely.

But he didn’t come inside.

Romeo was concentrating so hard he heard the bang of the front door shutting.

Chad had gone back into the house.

Romeo sighed, dropping the puzzle book, and relaxing all his tensed up muscles with a huff.

He checked his hand again. It burned like it was on fire and his wrist and his fingers felt tight and stiff. No tendon had been cut. The blade had sliced through muscle. Thanks to Romeo’s sharp knives it was a clean wound, or it had been until he’d ended up in the mud. Romeo’s hand trembled wildly as he tried to assess the damage. It was his right hand. His preferred hand for both pleasure and murder. He studied his palm as he held it out in front of him, fingers and thumb curled to receive a throat.

Chad’s throat.

As soon as he flexed, pain burned through his hand.

His head snapped up at the knock on the door.

Chad stepped inside with another tray. He kneeled down before sliding it within Romeo’s reach. He squinted at the toast. Romeo could see both butter and marmite on the two slices. Chad couldn’t remember much, but apparently, he could remember how Romeo liked his toast. He wondered whether it was memory or instinct when he’d been faced with a cupboard full of toppings. Chad preferred the sweet—the jam, the honey, but Romeo preferred savory.

“Does it hurt?” Chad asked.

It took a few moments for Romeo’s brain to boot up again, then he looked down at his hand. “Yes.” His fingers twitched. “It needs stitches.”

Chad snorted softly. “I can get you a needle and thread, but you’ll have to do it yourself.”

“You won’t help me?”

“I won’t put myself within your reach,” Chad said with a sad smile, “Not when you’ve made it clear you want to kill me.”

“Fine. I’ll take your needle and thread. It’s not like I haven’t stitched myself up before.”

Chad cocked his head. “When have you stitched yourself up?”

Romeo refused to answer. He had stitched his bicep after it got ripped open from a spray of shotgun pellets, but this Chad didn’t need to know that. That wound had been easy to stitch, only needing Romeo to pass the innocent looking needle through his skin four times, but this was much bigger, and in a more delicate area for sure, but the longer it was left, the worse it would heal.

Chad sighed, then got up and left.

Romeo slipped off the bench seat and crouched on the ground to eat his toast.

It was perfect. The perfect crunch. The perfect ratio of butter and marmite.

It made him hate this Chad even more.

Chad returned with a Tupperware box full of threads and a bottle of gin. He slid the box over.

“I sterilized the needle. And there’s a wad of kitchen towel in there, soaked in salt water for you to clean the wound.”

“I assumed the gin was for the wound?”

Chad shrugged. “I thought you might want to drink it. You know ... for the pain.”

Romeo didn’t reply.

“Ally will be here soon. They don’t like to leave me alone for too long.”

“Can you blame them?”

Chad bowed his head. “She’s taking me to my therapy session. I told her I can take myself but she’s adamant she drives me. I’ll be gone a few hours, possibly more if we go back to her place.”

Romeo didn’t verbally react, but he nodded, once.

He’d witnessed Chad like this before whenever he was going to work. He’d kiss Romeo goodbye, but crouch down and offer up Mercutio an explanation on why he was leaving and give an estimated time frame of when he’d be back. Romeo had always thought it odd considering Mercutio didn’t have a clue what Chad was on about, but he was grateful for it now.

“Can you change my bucket first?” Romeo asked, tilting his head towards it.

Chad recoiled. “Um. Yeah. Sure.”

Romeo slid it across the floor, then backed off for Chad to get it.

Chad disappeared, returning five minutes later with a clean bucket that smelled lemon fresh.

He turned to leave.

“And a toilet roll.” Romeo said.

Chad frowned. “I swore I gave you one.”

“No. You didn’t.”

It was childish. Romeo had the toilet roll. Chad had absentmindedly rolled it back to him the night before. It was beneath the pillow on the floor, but Chad scurried off to find him another.

Chad threw two rolls to him when he came back.

Romeo caught one against his chest. The other bounced on the ground. “And some soap...”

“I gave you bodywash.”

Romeo’s nod was patronizing. “Which is different to soap.”

“Fine,” Chad snapped, stalking out.

He returned with a bar of soap, then left before Romeo could make any more demands.

Romeo slumped.

He waited, for what felt like hours, for another car.

It came.

Eventually.

Ally announced her presence by beeping the horn several times.

The engine continued to rumble as she waited, then it faded back the way it had come, presumably with Chad inside.

Romeo grit his teeth and glanced down at the hand he’d been cradling against his chest.

He gingerly dabbed his hand with the damp kitchen towel before growing woozy with pain and having to stop. He leaned his back against the central column of the gym. If he was to pass out, he didn’t want to knock his head as he fell.

The salt stung. He paused and bit into the padding on the bench beside him every time it got too much, then had to wait for the room to stop spinning.

He held his hand out above the ground, savaging his bottom lip with his teeth, and poured some of the gin over the wound. Romeo tasted blood. It was slippery on his teeth. He resisted the urge to tuck his hand close to his muddy t-shirt again and rode out the wave of agony.

When it had faded, he swigged from the bottle, only to hiss as his lip stung.

He ran a finger over the threads before choosing a red one from the box.

Then his painful prep hit a colossal roadblock.

He couldn’t thread the needle one handed.

Despite how many times he tried, jabbing the thread at the eye while the needle lay at the bottom of the box, he couldn’t do it. The thread predictably frayed. Romeo growled, picking a different thread. He tried holding the needle between his teeth to keep it still and thread it, but it was too close to his face to see properly.

He stabbed the needle into the padding of the bench, and tried to pass the thread through the eye, but his left hand wasn’t as steady as his dominant right, and the one time he managed to get it through, it soon dropped out.

Romeo flung the needle across the outhouse. It pinged somewhere near the door, but he couldn’t see it against the grey concrete.

“Damn it.”

He wrapped his hand up in a fresh bandage, then slumped against the gym with his eyes closed, waiting for Chad to return.

****

“All sorted?” Chad asked from the doorway.

Romeo glared at him. It felt like a day had passed. His stomach had given up demanding food. The over-tighness in his hand had spread down to his elbow.

“No. I need help to stitch it.”

“And I’m not that stupid.” Chad stepped inside and shut the door behind him.

“I couldn’t thread the needle.”

Chad frowned. “Oh.” He nipped his lip. “I’ll get you another, and thread it for you.”

He turned to leave. Romeo had an irrational urge to ask him not to go, but he managed to control it and pressed his lips in a firm line.

Chad returned with a new needle pinched between his thumb and forefinger.

“Shove the threads over here.”

Romeo hesitated before doing as Chad asked.

He threaded the needle with ease, set it down in the box, then slid it back.

Chad waited.

Romeo narrowed his eyes. “If you’re expecting a thank you, you’ll be there a long time.”

“I’m not expecting anything,” Chad said, sitting down on the floor.

Romeo eyed him. He looked tired.

“How was your session with Keeley?”

Chad shrugged. “Slow. Stop, start.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means we’re not used to each other anymore. I don’t know how I’m supposed to act, or what I’m supposed to talk about.” He sighed. “She’s trying to get me to relax, but...”

“But what?”

“It makes me uncomfortable. I’m worried if I let my guard down, I might accidentally mention I’ve got a serial killer chained up in my outhouse.”

“My Chad never slipped up with Keeley.”

“My Chad... I am your Chad.”

“Did your heart stop?”

Chad nodded. “Yes—

“Then you’re definitely not my Chad anymore.”

“That’s not...” Chad squeezed his eyes shut. He reopened them. “Are you fixing your hand or what?”

Romeo exhaled a long breath as he unwrapped his hand.

Chad hissed when he saw the wound.

“It’ll probably scar.”

“I have my fair share of scars,” Romeo replied.

The most obvious scar he had was on his face beneath his right eye.

“Me, too.” Chad said softy.

Romeo paused.

Numbers covered Chad’s torso courtesy of Marc Wilson. He imagined it must’ve been a shock for this Chad to have seen them for the first time after waking up in hospital.

“Do you remember how you got them?” Romeo asked. He picked up the threaded needle.

Chad shook his head. “Ally told me, though. She thought I might freak out the first time I saw my chest.”

“And did you?”

“No.” his brow folded. “They felt... I think I’d have been more uneasy if they hadn’t been there, but I know that makes no sense. They felt ... like they fit, like this scarred up body fits with this,” he touched his head. “Broken mind.”

“Is that how you feel about me? Like we fit?”

Chad shuffled, looking uncomfortable. “Yes.”

Romeo took a deep breath. “I used to think that too.”

He looked down at his hand and pushed the needle through his skin.

The pain killed any fondness that attempted to surface.

“But not anymore.”

Romeo struggled to stitch, repeatedly dropping the needle and needing Chad to re-thread it for him. Each time he did, Chad shuffled a little closer on his knees.

Romeo had marked out the radius of his chain with his foot. The faint mark went unnoticed by Chad.

It hurt. Stitching the wound hurt like hell, but adrenaline softened the pain. Chad fell for his trick, inching closer and closer until he crossed the line.

The monster sensed its opportunity to put an end to their drought and satisfy Romeo’s hatred for the man he used to love. He dropped the needle. The thread predictably slipped from the eye. Romeo sighed, tossing Chad a new reel of thread.

Chad caught it and waited expectantly.

Romeo pinched the needle off the concrete, and held it out.

Chad reached.

The monster bit.

Romeo dropped the needle and grabbed Chad’s wrist. He snarled as he yanked him forward, fully into his grasp. Panic flashed in Chad’s eyes, but Romeo ignored it, grasping hold of Chad’s throat in his left hand.

He squeezed.

Chad closed both hands around Romeo’s wrist and squeezed too.

Romeo favored his right hand.

He could kill with that hand alone but had never tried to use his left in the same way.

It was weaker.

But he was confident he could do it.

He held Chad close to him, so close Romeo could smell him, and feel the heat from his face.

His lips were right there, parted, and Romeo was tempted to kiss him.

Kiss him and kill him at the same time.

He licked his lips, bringing his mouth closer.

“You’ll never know.” Chad croaked.

Romeo relaxed his hold a fraction. “Know what?”

“Why I did it ... don’t you want to know, Romeo, don’t you want me to tell you?”

“You can’t remember.”

“Not yet.”

Chad’s face turned red. He didn’t look afraid though, his eyes found Romeo’s.

He used his big brown eyes like a weapon, weaking Romeo’s grip.

“You kill me now, you’ll never know.”

“My Chad is gone.”

“He isn’t,” Chad snapped. “I’m right here. I’m in pieces that’s all, but they’re still here, and if they’re still here they can be put back together. A few days ago, you thought so too.”

“That was until I found out that you were the one to take a sledgehammer to them. You smashed us to pieces.”

“Maybe we can put them together again.”

“What if they make an ugly picture?”

Chad’s shoulders slumped. He let go of Romeo’s wrist. “At least you’ll have clarity.”

“Even if you do end up remembering,” Romeo flexed his hand around Chad’s neck. “I’ll still probably kill you.”

Chad smiled. “I thought as much, but you’ll kill me with your right hand, your preferred hand.”

Romeo stiffened. “How did you—"

“You’ll lift me off the ground so my feet are dangling and my only contact with the earth is through you. That’s how you’ll kill me. That’s how you like to do it.”

Romeo let go completely.

He expected Chad to launch back, but he didn’t.

Chad rubbed his throat, then coughed into his elbow.

“Now,” he said with a small smile. “Let’s fix up your hand.”

He found the needle. He threaded the eye. Then he waited for Romeo to hold out his hand. Romeo flared his nostrils, then gave in with a sigh.

Chad’s touch was delicate, soft, all until he slid a needle through Romeo’s skin.

Romeo watched Chad through a squint.

“Do you know what’s in the field?” he asked.

Chad paused, glancing up at him through his lashes. “Is this ... is this a joke? Does it have a punchline?”

“No. Why do you think that?”

“No idea, just...” Chad shook his head and went back to the wound.

“The field Chad, what’s in the field?”

“Mud I imagine,” he leaned back to glance around the outhouse. “We don’t have any farm equipment, so I doubt there’s anything but earthworms out there.”

“There’s maggots too.” Romeo’s eyes glinted. “I can guarantee there’s maggots.”

Chad frowned but didn’t ask.

He knew how Romeo liked to kill, but he didn’t know who he’d been killing like that.

“Has Josh told you about a case he’s working on?”

“No. He talks about cases we’ve worked on, but nothing current. I’m not a detective anymore.”

“But he is and he has my car.”

Chad leaned back. “Your car?”

“Yes. It’s been over a month, and I’m assuming he didn’t get any DNA or fingerprints from inside or outside the vehicle. I’m on the database, my face would be all over the news if he’d found anything.”

Chad’s nod was hesitant.

“What other tests will they do on the car?” Romeo asked.

“Assuming this car has been involved in something it shouldn’t have been...”

“Yes, assuming that.”

Chad swallowed. “They’ll obviously try to find footage of the car from CCTV, dashcam, that kind of thing.”

“What else?”

“A soil sample from the tires will be taken and matched with a region, then possibly an area depending on what soil, particles and minerals are discovered. They will do a tread print of the wheels, try and match it to a place of interest. Tires leave their own fingerprints.”

“Then you better be careful,” Romeo warned. “Because there’s fingerprints outside the double doors to this outhouse pressed into the mud and you don’t want Josh looking at them too closely...”

Chapter Twelve

Romeo had been chained up in the outhouse for a total of four days when Chad stepped inside and threw him a key.

He caught it in his left hand.

Their eyes met, but neither of them said anything.

For four days, Romeo had been kept like an animal, relieving himself in a bucket, and having his meals pushed to him across the floor.

For four days Chad endured Romeo’s glares, and snappy comments while resolutely sleeping each night on the hard floor.

The anger always faded after Chad fell asleep.

Seeing him vulnerable did funny things to Romeo’s heart, filling it with painful longing and sadness.

And then out of nowhere, Romeo had the key in his palm.

The standoff went on for a few minutes, then Chad retreated.

Romeo listened for the scratch of a key, and the clunk of a lock, but there was only Chad’s fading footsteps.

Chad had let him go.

He turned the key over in his hand, wondering whether Chad was playing a cruel prank on him before deciding it was worth a try.

Romeo tugged at his collar, sliding it around his neck until he found the padlock. It took a few tries one handed to push the key inside, but he managed it, gasping when the lock popped open, and the heavy chain fell from around his neck.

It was dark when he stepped outside.

The lights from the house glowed like a beacon encouraging him home.

It wasn’t a home without Chad though.

And the Chad inside wasn’t his.

The front door was unlocked.

Chad waited in the doorway to the kitchen, tugging his lip.

“Why?” Romeo asked.

“You could do with a shower.”

Although true—Romeo could feel the grime on himself, the grease in his hair, and the body odor that had bled through his clothes to surround him—it wasn’t enough of a reason for Romeo.

He glared until Chad lowered his gaze.

“Now we’ve established you’re not going to kill me—”

“I never said that.”

“Yet.” Chad raised an eyebrow. “Kill me yet. I didn’t think chaining you up like an animal was necessary.”

“I could take you right now,” Romeo took a menacing step forward. “Tie you up, throw you in the back of the car and carry out my—”

“Why would you bother?” Chad lifted his chin. “I’m not your Chad, am I?”

Romeo didn’t answer.

“There’s a clean towel in the bathroom for you, and I...”

“What?”

“Ran you a bath.”

Romeo frowned. “Ran me a—”

“You can’t get in the shower with your hand like that. The taps are stiff, so I...”

“Ran me a bath.” Romeo finished.

“Yes.”

They stared awkwardly at each other.

“In that case, I’d better not let the water get cold.”

Chad relaxed.

Romeo slipped his trainers off, then went upstairs. He walked through their bedroom into the en-suite and closed the door. He rested his head against it and just breathed for a few moments.

His hair was matted with mud, and a deep purple bruise wrapped around his throat from where he’d rushed at Chad. The bump from the rock shone at his temple, and his stylish stubble had turned into a tatty beard.

He undressed, leaving his clothes a heap on the floor, then stepped into the bath.

It didn’t take long for the water to turn grimy.

His right arm dangled free of the tub, while he used his left hand to scrub himself clean.

When he finished, he pulled out the plug and stepped into the bedroom.

Chad was below him, banging pans in the kitchen.

Romeo tugged on a loose pair of joggers, and some socks. He sat on the bed, their bed, and thought about staying up there, barricading himself in the room so he wouldn’t have to deal with the other Chad.

He lay down, and before he knew it, his eyes were sliding shut.

****

“Oh...” Chad gaped in the doorway.

Romeo blinked blearily, sitting up. He eyed the pillow he’d soaked with his hair. “What do you want?”

“I urm. I was checking you were...” Chad shook his head. His gaze lingered on Romeo’s exposed chest. “I wanted to know if you were hungry. I’ve made some pasta.”

“You’ve made pasta?”

“Well, no, I tipped some from a packet into a bowl of boiling water, and then added a tomato and mascarpone sauce once it was done.”

Romeo’s stomach rumbled. “Did you remember to salt the water?”

Chad blinked. “Urm. Yes. I did add salt despite not knowing why...”

Romeo nodded, getting to his feet.

He waited until Chad had bolted from the doorway before tugging on a t-shirt, then following.

The first thing Romeo noticed when he stepped into the kitchen, were the packets on the side. He strode over, snatching up the medication. “What are these?”

“Painkillers,” Chad answered. He touched his head. “Despite what you think, I wasn’t faking it in the field.”

Romeo set the packets back on the side except for the one he recognized.

Temazepam.

The insomnia medication.

Chad watched him but didn’t comment.

“It’s nothing special,” Chad said, gesturing to the plate on the table.

Romeo put down the packet.

“Why is there only one plate?”

“I ate mine while you were upstairs,” Chad scratched the back of his head. “I thought it would be weird if we sat at the table together.”

“Weird in what way?”

Chad glanced at him. “I thought you’d spend the whole time glaring at me.”

Romeo cracked his jaw. Chad had thought right.

“Anyway,” Chad said, trying to squeeze by. Romeo turned his body, never letting Chad out of his sights as went to the door.

“I’ll be in the living room.”

He left.

Romeo closed his eyes.

He snapped them open again.

The meal was bland, missing seasoning, and parmesan, but the pasta was cooked through, and it satisfied Romeo’s rumbling stomach. Chad didn’t return to the kitchen.

Romeo loaded the dishwasher, if only to avoid having to make a decision about whether to join Chad in the living room or retreat upstairs.

He cleaned the table, the surfaces, but stopped short of filling up a bucket and mopping the floor. He knew he was being ridiculous. He couldn’t avoid this Chad forever but whenever he was around him the temptation to just end the torment by strangling Chad to death almost became too much.

Chad still hadn’t reappeared or left the living room from what Romeo’s keen ears had picked up.

The TV mumbled away behind the door, but he had no idea what Chad was watching.

He flung the dishcloth in the sink, then left the kitchen.

His heart stuttered when he opened the door and saw Chad asleep on the sofa.  

The longing and sadness surged so fast it robbed him of breath. If this was his Chad crashed out like that, he would’ve walked over, eased Chad’s head up, then sat down so Chad could use his thigh as a cushion. He’d stroke Chad’s hair and trace his features with his fingers while he slept.

But this wasn’t his Chad.

Romeo hesitated, rocking from his heels to his toes before giving in and allowing himself a moment. He sat down in the armchair, gaze fixed to Chad.

His eyes stung, and the why, why, why sounded in his head, but this time he didn’t say it out loud. They would find out why, eventually, then Romeo would kill him, but at least then he’d know why his love hadn’t been good enough, why Chad had tried to leave him.

Romeo stayed watching Chad until his expression twitched, and his fingers spasmed like he was starting to wake, then he left, retreating to the spare bedroom and shutting the door.

****

Romeo frowned at the metallic pinging outside the window the next morning. Rhythmic, there was a few seconds’ pause between pings and an accompanying grunt. Over and over. He pulled himself up, then got out of bed, following the clanging.

It sounded like a shovel being stuck into the ground, and he burst from the front door expecting to see Chad in the field, digging around for bodies.

Chad wasn’t in the field, but by the double doors of the outhouse. He didn’t use a shovel, but a garden fork, forcing it into the ground as far as it would go before turning it to break up the mud.

There was no concrete in front of the doors, but a section of flattened earth that led to the concrete of the driveway which in turn led to the gravel then the dirt track.

Chad stopped to wipe his brow.

Romeo didn’t need to ask what Chad was doing.

He knew.

He’d warned Chad about the tire marks, and Chad cracked and unsettled the earth so Josh wouldn’t see, he wouldn’t suspect.

Chad couldn’t do anything about the soil in the tread pattern, but he could destroy the fingerprints from the tires themselves.

Romeo leaned against the wall, content to watch Chad work, but a hard wince from Chad and a thud from him dropping the fork had him pushing off from the bricks at his back.

Chad clutched his head, face scrunched in pain, and he dropped down to one knee, swaying in a way that made Romeo’s gut clench.

Romeo couldn’t help himself.

He went to Chad, helping him back to his feet.

“It’ll pass,” Chad growled through his teeth, pressing his cheek into Romeo’s chest as Romeo held him.

He was warm, and solid, and alive.

Chad panted, his shoulders lifting each harsh breath. Romeo couldn’t see his face, but he imagined Chad’s eyes were clenched shut.

“Have you taken your painkillers this morning?”

“Yes.”

“Chad...”

“I promise.”

Those two words stung. Romeo released Chad and backed away. Chad swayed from the lack of Romeo to support him. He rolled his fingers against his temple as he squinted.

Romeo turned away. Once upon a time he would’ve batted Chad’s hand away and taken over the head massage.

“You got rid of the fingerprints.”

Chad lowered his hand, but his expression remained pinched. “Yeah. I remembered what you said.”

Romeo nodded, glancing away from Chad again. It hurt to look at him. His cracked heart stung as he retreated to the safety of his anger. He let it build again.

“I...” Chad started.

Romeo waited.

“I’m going to the bridge.”

Ice chilled Romeo to the bone. The rage inside him turned white hot.

“What?”

Chad bit his lip. “I need to go back there.”

Before Romeo could tell him no, that was absolutely not happening. Before he could drag Chad to the outhouse and chain him up so he couldn’t, Chad spoke again.

“Will you ... will you come with me?”

Romeo blinked.

Chad’s brow twitched. “Please.”

Romeo nodded.

Chad slumped. “Thank you.”

****

Chad had removed all the perishable supplies from the car, leaving enough room for Romeo to sit in the back. The sun visors were across, hiding him, but still, Chad insisted they go to the bridge at night.

They didn’t speak.

Romeo tried not to glare at the side of Chad’s face and instead looked out of the windscreen. The rain had started to come down, gently at first, but it quickly picked up pace, bouncing off the car and road ahead.

Chad had walked two miles from where he parked the car to where he jumped.

Did he debate the decision the whole time?

Or did he know exactly what he was about to do?

“It was here,” Chad said.

He pulled onto the curb, flicking his hazard lights on. He got out of the car before Romeo could stop him.

“Shit,” Romeo opened his own door, stepping out into the icy rain. He jogged to catch up with Chad against the railing, peering over the edge to the rushing water below.

Romeo stopped dead, looking at Chad.

Chad noticed. “What is it?”

“The balcony.”

“What balcony?”

“At the cottage. You stood like that.” Romeo couldn’t say anymore.

He saw Chad from the cottage, remembered the way his hands had momentarily tightened on the railing when Romeo tried to pull him away.

Chad looked at him a long moment, then turned his attention back to the river running beneath them. It was five meters below with a fast-flowing current.

It had been the water that had almost killed him, not the drop itself.

Chad kept staring. His expression became more and more vacant until Romeo couldn’t handle it anymore.

“Enough,” Romeo snapped, rushing forward. He grabbed Chad by the arm and yanked him away from the railing. Chad didn’t resist. He looked up at Romeo with big eyes, rain streaming down his face, then made his way back to the car.

Romeo peered over the edge, torturing himself with the sound of furious water, before joining Chad in the car.

“These are the facts,” Chad said softly, “A witness said he jogged past me at approximately 5:15. I was against the railing staring straight ahead. He ran back the other way ten minutes later, and that’s when he saw me heave myself over the railing, then jump.”

Romeo remained mute in the backseat. Chad’s eyes stayed on him in the mirror, fiery and focused.

“He said I never looked down, I stared straight ahead into the distance,” Chad looked out his window. “At what, I don’t know. He heard me shout something when I surfaced, but the current dragged me under. He managed to stop a car. The driver happened to be a paramedic on the way to work. They ran down the bank on the opposite side, spotted my coat. They got me out...”

“How long...”

“They think I was under between six to eight minutes. An ambulance was called. It arrived on scene at—”

“No,” Romeo balled his hand on his thigh. “How long had you been thinking about this?”

Chad turned his head. “I ... I don’t under—”

“How long had you been planning on killing yourself?” Romeo tried to push down the anger, but it rose in his chest. “When we were away, Mercutio woke me up. He was whining, distressed, because you had shut him inside. You were standing on the balcony. The balcony at the edge of a cliff with the swirling sea beneath you.”

“I can’t remember—”

“Were you going to do it then? If I hadn’t have interrupted you, would you have jumped? Would you have left me like that? Would you have let me find you like that, battered on the rocks below or maybe the sea would’ve carried you off and I never would’ve known what happened to you.”

Chad bowed his head.

“Is that what you were planning? Did I interrupt you?” Romeo asked savagely.

Chad didn’t answer.

“You were never going to see Josh that day. This wasn’t a spur of the moment decision. You’d been planning it.”

“I—”

Romeo squeezed his eyes shut. “You didn’t take Mercutio with you. You always take him when you go to see Josh. He loves Josh and Josh loves him, but you didn’t take him. You knew you were coming here. You knew what you were going to do.”

“I don’t—”

“Yes you do!”

“I don’t!” Chad twisted in his seat. “I don’t know, okay? I don’t remember a balcony. I don’t remember coming here and jumping!”

“Is that why we’re here right now? So you can try again?”

Chad glowered.

“Because I’m not going to stop you, Chad, go right ahead.”

The words were acid in Romeo’s mouth and his stomach rolled at such a thought, but they kept coming. “Hell, I’ll even help you. I’ll throw you over the fucking edge. I’ll hold you under until water fills your lungs.”

Chad turned away. “I want to understand, I want to know, that’s why we’re here, but you shouting at me isn’t going to help yourself, or me.”

“I have no interest in helping you. It’s too late for that.”

“You’ve made that clear,” Chad snapped, taking off from the curb.

They drove in stifling silence and, once back, Chad disappeared to the bedroom.

Romeo opted for the outhouse.

Chad had cleaned the place up, and there was no sign it had been Romeo’s cage a day earlier. He did what he could on the gym clutching his right hand to his chest while using the leg press, and only working out his left arm. It didn’t satisfy him in the way his workouts usually did.  

He could exhaust his body, but his mind was a constant swirl with Chad the eye of the storm and the monster snarling and snapping from the other side just waiting for Romeo to let it out.

It was only later when he was unable to sleep in bed, Romeo thought back to the bridge. The fog of anger had left him, and he frowned, remembering how Chad had spoken in the car.

Like he was the detective again.

Chad was looking at his own suicide attempt like it was a case.

Chapter Thirteen

Not knowing how long the betrayal had gone on for brought the anger back.

For how many days, weeks, months, had Chad been filling Romeo’s head with lies, promises about how much they loved each other, and they were meant to be together, knowing he planned to leave Romeo behind.

He grew feelings in Romeo that had never been there before, made him burn with protectiveness and growl with possessiveness.

Romeo loved him fiercely with all of himself.

Chad had hurt him. No one hurt him.

His biggest hurt came from resisting the monster for so long.

But other people couldn’t affect him.

Just Chad.

Because he’d made Chad more.

He’d made him everything.

And that had resulted in the worst pain he’d ever experienced.

If only he was all monster, then it never would’ve happened.

Romeo hesitated with his spread hand on their bedroom door.

The house was quiet around him.

Two days had passed since the bridge visit.

Romeo didn’t even recall how he’d found himself outside their bedroom door in the middle of the night. He knew he shouldn’t be, knew he should leave, maybe even chain himself up in the outhouse again and throw the key far from reach.

He eased the door open, holding his breath in case the rage he was trying to keep down woke Chad.

Chad lay on his back in the middle of the bed, completely unaware of the danger approaching.

He should’ve locked the bedroom door.

He should’ve barricaded it.

Romeo stepped closer to the bed, glaring down at Chad.

He’d never given another person power to hurt him like that before.

He didn’t know how to handle it, and worse, he didn’t know whether he wanted to.

Chad wanted to die, then fine, Romeo would give him what he wanted, then they would both be free.

Romeo climbed onto the bed. The dip of the mattress made Chad stir, but he was slow, sluggish, and it was easy to staddle him.

“Romeo...”

Chad’s eyelashes fluttered as he struggled to open them.

Romeo didn’t wait for him to wake fully, he wrapped both hands around Chad’s throat and squeezed as hard as he could.

Chad’s eyes flashed open. His hands came up, clasping Romeo’s wrists, but he wasn’t strong enough to pull Romeo off him. Romeo had let go in the outhouse, tempted by the idea of finding out why, but it didn’t matter. Why didn’t matter.

“Is this what you wanted, Chad?” Romeo asked, leaning his face down so he could look into Chad’s. “Then you only had to ask.”

Chad’s throat gurgled, a spasm as his tongue slapped the top of his mouth.

“Anytime I could’ve done this.”

Chad’s brown eyes gazed up at him, brimming with what Romeo had always assumed was love. Romeo squeezed harder until that look went away.

The whites of Chad’s eyes turned red.

“Why, though,” Romeo spluttered, “did you have to make me fall in love with you first?”

Watery pink tears escaped the corners of Chad’s eyes. His skin turned ashen, and his lips took on the purple tint of death. Romeo could feel Chad’s pulse in his hands, slowing as every muscle in his body stiffened, stretching out and screaming for more oxygen.

“Why tell me you loved me if you were always going to leave?”

Romeo kept going, and he smiled. He grinned at Chad, dying at his hand, and ground his erection down on him.

“You look so fucking good like this.”

He curled his fingers into Chad’s throat, digging them in until his nails broke the skin, and he could push his fingertips inside. Romeo bit his lip at the warmth and wetness he forced his fingers into. He thrust them into Chad’s body, in and out, making the holes stretch to accommodate his knuckles. His cock throbbed at the action.

“Hurts, doesn’t it?”

The unfiltered agony on Chad’s face confirmed it.

Romeo groaned. “I wish I was inside you right now. I wish I was fucking you while I did this.”

Chad’s heart stopped. His chest didn’t move. His eyes were open, but unseeing. His bottom lip was blue, and cold when Romeo sucked it into his mouth. He removed one hand from Chad’s throat, stroking it down Chad’s chest until he got to his boxer shorts.

“But I’ll have to just make do with fucking you now you’re gone. While your body cools and your blood clots.”

Romeo flung himself upright, gasping for breath.

A dream.

Just a dream.

He stumbled from the bed, tripping over twisted sheets, as he pushed open the bedroom door.

He staggered into the bathroom, dropping to his knees in front of the toilet, and hung his head into the bowl as he threw up.

Bile burned his throat and tingled his teeth.

He spat a few times before pushing to his feet and getting to the sink. He cupped handfuls of water to rinse out his mouth, blinking harshly to rid himself of the dream.

“Are you okay?” Chad asked from the doorway.

Romeo paused, linking eyes with Chad through the mirror. “Get out.”

Chad slumped, but did as Romeo told him, retreating down the hallway to go back to his bedroom.

Romeo didn’t return to the spare room that night.

He escaped to the outhouse, used the gym, did his languages, watched cooking shows of recipes to try one day in the future, all the things he usually did to distract himself.

His fingers twitched. He kept checking them, able to feel Chad’s blood where he had pushed them into his skin. Romeo had killed him, and he’d woken just as he was about to—

He shook his head, refusing to go back there.

But the dark part of him, the monster, he wanted to use Chad, to satisfy every desire and need by killing and fucking him.

Romeo shuddered, disgusted with himself.

He didn’t return to the house until after 9:00 that morning.

Chad got up from his chair at the kitchen table. He’d just finished his breakfast by the look of the empty plate and the last dreg of coffee in his cup.

“Are you okay?”

Romeo ignored him and pointed out the window. “What is that?”

Chad glanced back. “It’s a bird feeder?” The questioning lilt to his words might have once amused Romeo, but the voice matched with the deer-in-headlights expression infuriated him.

It was obviously a bird feeder. He scrunched his eyes shut and took a few calming breaths.

“I mean ... why is it out there?”

“I found it in the cupboard. The pole and all the feeders to hang from it and we had loads of bird seed, all different types, so I thought what the hell,” he shrugged. “Might as well put it out there.”

He remembered how Romeo liked his toast, how he liked to kill, that he liked crosswords, but hadn’t remembered the field of bodies or the raven that had slayed the magpies right in front of them.

Romeo’s eye twitched.

“Is there a problem?” Chad asked. “I can take it down if you—”

“No,” Romeo interrupted. “Leave it out there.”

Chad bit his lip. “Okay... There’s no birds yet.”

“If they have a single brain cell between them, none will come.” He turned his back to the window, then gestured to the table. “Are you finished?”

Chad glanced at his empty plate. “Yeah.” He hurried to grab it, then placed it in the sink. “I’ll ... I’ll wash it up later.”

Romeo pressed his lips together.

“What happened last night?” Chad asked.

“I think it’s fairly obvious what happened. I was sick.”

Chad nipped his bottom lip. In the dream it had been cold when Romeo sucked it. He turned away.

“But ... why were you sick?”

“I had a ... dream.”

“About what?”

Romeo didn’t lie to Chad, and he didn’t plan on starting.

“I dreamed I killed you, then fucked your dead body.”

He’d always enjoyed watching Chad squirm from his blunt delivery, but the shock on Chad’s face didn’t amuse him, and he didn’t find what he’d said amusing either.

“Right...” Chad murmured, then he swallowed hard enough Romeo heard him.

“Is ... is that not normal for you?”

Romeo ignored Chad’s question.

“I suggest you start locking your door at night.”

Chad stared at him.

“Maybe keep a knife by your bed.”

“I won’t.”

Romeo frowned. “Won’t what?”

“I won’t lock my door, and I won’t keep a knife by my bed.”

“You’re still suicidal—”

“No.”

“Then you’re just... Idiotic. Six letters.”

Chad narrowed his eyes. “I am not stupid. That dream made you throw up. You didn’t like the thought of doing that to me.”

Romeo leaned closer. “Part of me didn’t. But the other part did.”

Chad swallowed again. He turned to leave but spoke over his shoulder. “I’m still not locking my door.”

“Stupid,” Romeo muttered beneath his breath.

He flicked the kettle on, glancing out the window at the birdfeeder.

Part of him wanted to march outside and tear it from the earth, but another, more savage part, wanted to show Chad why he no longer put out seed for the birds.

He might not have seen the raven for weeks, but he imagined it flew over the house, checking for prey every day. Chad was going to feed it, and Romeo would let him if only to see the shock and hurt on Chad’s face when it swooped down and viciously stabbed a bird to death in front of him.

Perhaps it was punishment.

Perhaps he hoped the brutality might jog Chad’s memory.

Romeo didn’t know why he didn’t demand Chad take it down or remove it himself, but it remained in the field, full to the brim with seed with no birds foolish enough to take the bait.

****

Ally blasted her car horn a few times when she arrived.

Romeo lay back on the bed, still not fully rested after his night in the outhouse, he cradled his hand to his chest and shut his eyes, silently praying he didn’t have the same dream twice.

When he woke, the sun was beginning to set.

He got up and watched out the window.

The mist looked more orange than gold, settling over their field of bodies Chad couldn’t remember. His nose twitched with the smell of something recently cremated, and he wondered what Chad had been forced to eat under Ally’s watchful eye.

When he heard voices in the hallway, he moved to the door, cracking it open so he could listen.

“Are you sure I can’t stay?” Ally asked. “I’ll be as quiet as a mouse.”

“That’s doubtful,” Chad snorted. “I appreciate it, but I’m fine.”

“You kept saying that before, and before it had been a lie...”

A tense silence followed.

“I’m not lying now,” Chad said softly. “I... Look, I’m confused, working stuff out, trying my hardest to remember, but I’m not...”

“Suicidal.”

Romeo dug his nails into the side of the door.

“No. I’m not that,” Chad replied.

“Make another appointment with Keeley.”

“I will.” Chad promised.

“Are you taking your pills?”

“Yes.”

“All of them?”

Chad chuckled. “Yes, Ally, I’m dosing myself up regularly on all my medication, thanks for asking.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow, if you don’t pick up—”

“You’ll drive here and give me a piece of your mind.”

“You bet,” Ally chuckled. “And I’ll refuse to leave. I’ve retired now, so I can dedicate all my spare time to watching your sorry ass.”

“I’ll pick up.”

“Good.”

Romeo frowned. It was news to him about Ally retiring.

“See you later,” Chad said.

Those words were ice to Romeo’s heart.

That’s what Chad had said to him on the day he didn’t come home.

Chad shut the front door.

Thirty seconds later, Ally blasted the car horn.

Romeo flung open the door and stalked down the hallway. Chad leaned against the wall with his eyes shut. They opened when he heard Romeo on the top step.

“I didn’t know she’d be here that long ... you must be hungry.”

Romeo didn’t answer. He glared.

“Christ, Romeo. How long are you going to keep this up?”

“I don’t know,” he said honestly.

“I need your help.”

“It’s too late to ask for it. You should’ve asked before.”

Chad closed his eyes. “Help me remember.”

“How do I do that?”

“You spend time with me.”

Romeo inflated with a deep breath. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I told you earlier, I dreamed of killing you then fucking your dead body.”

“It was only a dream.”

“Only a... Chad,” Romeo came down the stairs. “I’m a danger to you, more so than I’ve ever been. I don’t know how to deal with this.”

“Deal with what?”

“The knowledge that it was all a lie.”

“It wasn’t,” Chad said firmly. “It isn’t.”

“How can you say that—"

“Because I know it wasn’t. I know it isn’t,” Chad ran his hands into his hair, and tugged. “I know you hate me, Romeo, and that’s okay. I get it. But I don’t hate you. Far from it.”

“You don’t even know me. You don’t remember—”

“I remember a lot more than you think I do.” Chad blinked back tears from his eyes. “That’s why I don’t understand.”

Romeo straightened to full height. “What’s in the field, Chad?”

Chad looked him in the eye. “There are bodies in the field. That’s what the maggots are eating. I know they’re there but ... I don’t know how, or why, or who, and I thought maybe that was the reason.”

“You encouraged it. Nothing gets you harder than watching me kill.”

Chad took a step back. “I....”

“You love it. For me it’s a need, a quench, a meal to a starving man, but you, you love it, you get aroused by it. You claw at my clothes like a desperate dog afterwards and beg with your eyes for me to take you.” Romeo dropped down the final few steps. “I’m sick all right, in here,” he pointed at his forehead, “But you ... you’re sick in the head, in your cock, in your goddamn heart—”

“Shut up.” Chad snapped, clutching his head.

“And I love that you’re like that.”

Chad met his eyes.

“You didn’t try to end your life because of what is going on in that field. Those people ... they aren’t good, and that was important to you. I wasn’t to kill anyone you deemed good, but if I could solve the cold cases, provide you with evidence, then they were our—”

“Poppy feed.”

Romeo’s eyebrows jumped up his head. “Yes.”

Chad hurried past him to get to the kitchen. He stared out of the window. “They killed people.”

“Yes.”

“And I bought them here ... and what?” he frowned. His eyes were wet. “To watch you kill them so I could get myself off.” He clutched his chest. “Is that who I am?”

“We started...” Romeo couldn’t think of a better word for it and settled on hunting. “We started hunting for my benefit. This thing inside my head, this voice, this urge,” he curled his thumb and fingers of his left hand, “this clawing inside my skull can only be satisfied by murder. The rush it gives me, the sensation, the experience, I can’t explain it to you, but when I satisfied it once, I knew I’d have to again and again to exist on this earth. I can’t go back to holding it at bay. I can’t live like that. We came up with a compromise. I kill, but only those you deem deserve it.”

“Where is the part about me being a bitch in heat?”

“I didn’t quite say that,” Romeo snorted. “But me killing has the added bonus of being particularly erotic for you ... and now, for me too.”

“Fuck,” Chad muttered, spinning on the cold tap. He wet his hand, then brushed it over his hair.

“Difficult to accept?” Romeo asked, inching closer.

“No,” Chad replied. “It rings true. What you’re telling me, I believe it. I don’t know why, I don’t know how, but I do. I didn’t try to kill myself because of the bodies in the field despite how fucked up that is. Despite how much I wish that was the reason.”

“Why did you then?”

Chad shook his head. “I don’t know.”

Romeo exhaled from his nose. “Josh is investigating missing people...”

“They’re in our field.”

“Yes. He got our car we used to scout our victims and collect them when we were ready.”

“How the hell did he get it?” Chad asked.

“I parked it in the parking ramp at the hospital.”

Chad’s eyes widened. “I must’ve warned you to keep that car out of sight. No public places, and you park there! What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking my boyfriend was in the hospital and I was damn well going to be there for him!”

“It was reckless.”

Romeo stabbed his finger at Chad’s chest.

Chad slapped his hand away.

“I know it was reckless,” Romeo growled through his teeth. His body shook. “But I needed to know you were okay. I needed to know you were alive. I wasn’t thinking—no, scratch that—I was thinking, but only of you.”

Chad deflated. “What’s done is done. If Josh had anything to link that car with me, I would’ve been arrested by now, and if they found your fingerprints, it would be all over the news.”

“The car was clean.”

“But what about the CCTV?”

“I wore a disguise.” Romeo bristled at Chad’s unimpressed stare. “A disguise you chose.”

“Okay.” Chad slumped. “We’re in the clear then.”

“For now.”

Chad looked at him. “For now.”

Chapter Fourteen

Romeo stood at the kitchen window, cup of coffee in hand, scowling at the field.

The magpies hadn’t returned.

But two days after Chad had re-staked the pole in the ground, small birds covered the feeders.

Sparrows and finches.

He raised his gaze, studying the sky.

The raven didn’t trouble itself with such small prey—it was after a much bigger prize.

“Pretty, aren’t they?” Chad said from the doorway.

Romeo despised the way his heart skipped at Chad’s voice.

Being close to Chad simultaneously closed a wound and sliced it open again.

It wasn’t once, it was a thousand times with every lingering look, and small smile.

It hurt and it soothed and not for the first time Romeo cursed Chad making him feel what he had never before. Anger was simple, and it was so easy to retreat into it and snap at Chad, but he exhaled a slow breath and attempted to be civil.

“Some might think so.”

Chad rolled his eyes. “Well, they are. Obviously, you prefer magpies.”

Romeo put his focus firmly on Chad, hiking one of his eyebrows.

“The cushions, the plates,” Chad explained. “There’s a magpie pen in the other room.”

He crossed the kitchen, opening a cupboard he grabbed a glass then filled it at the tap.

“What’s with the magpies?” Chad muttered beneath his breath.

“I told you about the magpie.”

“Amnesia, remember?” Chad paused with the glass against his lip. He lowered it. “Magpie? Not magpies?”

“Magpie,” Romeo confirmed, but offered nothing else.

Chad waited, but when it became clear Romeo was done talking, he drank his water, content to watch the birds.

Romeo missed the magpies.

He missed his Chad more.

So much more.

“So ... we’re almost out of food.”

“I’ll sort it,” Romeo replied.

“You’ll sort it?”

“I do the shopping online using your card. The company has instructions to deliver to the front door then leave. Other companies only deliver to the shed at the beginning of the track road. They don’t want to risk their cars breaking down,” Romeo sipped his water, “That could have unfortunate consequences for them...”

“That doesn’t fit the compromise.”

“What you don’t know can’t hurt you.”

Chad sighed. “I actually think it can.”

He had a point. Romeo didn’t know why Chad had tried to kill himself, and that hurt worse than any pain he’d experienced before.

“Did you?”

Romeo narrowed his eyes. “Did I what?”

“Ever ... you know, hurt one of the delivery drivers.”

“By hurt you mean kill, and no, I haven’t. I agreed to the compromise. I don’t break my promises unlike some.” Romeo couldn’t help himself, and he liked the way Chad recoiled then curled in on himself whenever he brought up the broken promise.

Chad hung his head. Romeo glimpsed him from the corner of his eye, then slumped.

“I’ll order the food now. If we pay extra, it’ll come today.”

“Can we afford it?” Chad asked.

“Yes,” Romeo opened his laptop he’d left on the table. “Money is not an issue for us.”

“Not since that article ... the one written by Holly Stevenson...”

Romeo tried to get a read on Chad, but he turned his back to Romeo. “You got a significant payout from The Canster times.”

Chad slammed his glass down on the side.

Romeo stilled, watching.

“I hate her,” Chad whispered. “Don’t I?”

“Yes. I hate her too. She’s on my list.”

“Your ... list?”

Romeo nodded, tapping casually on the laptop keys. “A list of people I want to kill. I want to kill her for trying to destroy you.”

He thought Chad would protest, but he merely nodded.

“Who else is on the list?”

“Right now, you’re at the top of it.”

Chad crossed his arms, looking particularly unimpressed by the comment.

“Some singer you had a crush on.”

Chad’s expression brightened. “Arnold Fritz?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Because you had a crush on him.”

Chad snorted. “That’s a stupid reason.”

Romeo ignored him. “Dean was on the list, but I recently crossed him off it.”

“You ... killed him?”

“I don’t know. I think he lived. It’s not important.”

“It kind of is.”

Romeo shrugged.

“Anyone else?” Chad asked.

“Superintendent Peter Watts.”

“For what reason?”

“For turning every police officer against you and forcing you to resign.”

“I was responsible for two deaths...”

“No,” Romeo replied with thunder in his voice. “Vincent Whitehall was. He manipulated that situation. He lit the match—”

“But I was the fuse that led to the explosion. I’m as guilty as he is and two people are no longer here because of him and I.”

Romeo bristled. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Make it sound like you were in cahoots.” He clenched his hand into a fist. “I don’t like it. It makes me uncomfortable.”

“Why?”

“You and him were never partners in crime, but we were.”

“Just in crime ...”

Romeo didn’t answer.

“Did I tell you about the calls and texts I was getting?” Chad asked.

“You did. But you didn’t mention the scale, the quantity. You told me you didn’t answer, and you didn’t reply.”

“I didn’t ... I don’t,” Chad retrieved his phone from his pocket. “A lot of people wish me dead.”

“I wish it right back at them and I have the inclination to follow through with my threat.”

Chad flashed Romeo a small smile. He bowed his head slightly and shuffled in the direction of the door. “Any more dreams?”

Romeo stiffened. “No, but I’ve barely been sleeping.”

“You can try them if you like?” Chad said, pointing to the box of temazepam on the side.

Romeo eyed Chad. “They seem to have worked wonders for you.”

Chad cocked his head, waiting for an explanation.

“You haven’t been having nightmares.”

“How do you know that?”

“I would’ve heard you,” he frowned, “Or seen you when you were sleeping in the outhouse.”

“Makes sense,” Chad whispered, “But it’s not because of them.”

Romeo glanced from the box to Chad then back again.

“What do you mean?”

“I haven’t been taking them.”

Romeo blinked. “You ... you told Ally you were. You told her you were taking all of your medication—”

“Only the ones I need. They’re for insomnia, and I’ve been sleeping just fine.”

Chad’s phone buzzed in his pocket, and he pulled it out. “It’s Josh. He’ll be here soon.”

Romeo shot one last look at the box of temazepam. “I better make myself scarce then...”

****

Josh arrived forty minutes later with a yapping Mercutio and a blast of fatty food fumes straight up the stairs. Chad and Josh had a preferred pizza place and usually only bought one pizza to share between them, but it was huge and potent.

Romeo tensed at paws tapping up the stairs. His door was pushed open by the wide head of Mercutio. Romeo couldn’t see the rest of him, but knew he wagged his tail from his head shaking from the left to right.

Romeo gave in, slipping off the edge of the bed, he crouched.

Mercutio rushed inside, waddling in his excitement and let Romeo fuss him.

“I hope he’s been taking good care of you.”

Mercutio licked his chin, going in for a second lick when Romeo pulled away.

Josh called for Mercutio from downstairs.

Josh ... not Chad.

Romeo hadn’t asked Chad why Josh had taken over Mercutio’s care. That would mean staying in a room long enough to engage in conversation, and he’d not managed more than a few minutes before actively intimidating Chad enough to leave.

Chad had wanted Romeo to spend time with him to help him remember, but he found it difficult.

Romeo lay down on the bed and shut his eyes.

He woke when Chad and Josh were saying their goodbyes in the hallway. Mercutio yipped and yapped, before his bark was cut off when Chad slowly pushed the door shut.

Mercutio had gone home with Josh.

Again.

Chad waited for Josh to drive away before calling up the stairs that it was safe to come down.

“Did you have fun?” Romeo asked once he was on the bottom step.

“It’s always good to see him.”

Romeo nodded. “What about Mercutio?”

Chad frowned. “He was great too.”

“Why aren’t you looking after him?”

“Because...”

“Because?” Romeo pressed.

Chad lowered his gaze. “I don’t remember him, not a thing. Josh was looking after him while I was at Ally’s, and I remember thinking how good he was with him. I didn’t even realize he was my dog, and now...”

“Now?”

“Mercs happy with Josh. Josh is good for him, and he’s good for Josh. I’m too ... unstable right now.” Chad bit his lip. “I asked Josh about the case he’s working on.”

“And how did he react to that?”

Chad sighed. “He was ecstatic I could remember, even though I can’t, not really. The car is clean. They’ve not matched the tire print, and the soil in the treads is the same over most of Bardhum.”

“We’re in the clear then.”

“They recovered CCTV from the car park at St John’s. It captured a six-foot well-built white man with a cap, glasses, leaving the car park. His clothing was all indistinct, no brands, no labels, all the dark in color. Other CCTV cameras picked him up around the hospital, but they didn’t get a clear image of him. They couldn’t even tell the color of his hair. He didn’t return to the vehicle.”

“I ditched the jacket and cap then got a taxi home.”

“The description matches some of the footage they’ve got from near Ellie Tipper’s house. Josh thinks he’s got his man.”

“One of them, maybe.”

“The man on CCTV also vaguely matches the description of a man the police are searching for in regards to an unprovoked assault at the nightclub Goddess.”

Romeo hummed. “Dean didn’t die then?”

“No,” Chad shook his head. “He didn’t die, but he did have to be intubated. He’s still in the hospital. You crushed part of his airway.”

“Only part?”

“Romeo...”

He lifted his eyebrow. “Chad.”

“Why?”

“I needed a distraction, and he happened to offer himself up on a plate.”

“He’s a good—”

“Don’t. If you finish that ... thought, I will find out what hospital he is in and finish the job. He thought he could save you from me for a second time, but he was wrong. No one can.”

Chad sighed and strolled into the kitchen. “Both Dean and Simon were able to give a detailed description of you.”

Romeo followed him. “Simon?”

“A witness to the attack.”

“What did they say?”

“You were a middle-aged man with glasses, long hair, gruff beard, big build, a crazed look in the eyes.”

Romeo snorted. “I can’t do much about the eyes or the build, but I guess I’m due a haircut.”

“Well, don’t do it yourself, we both know how shit it looked last time.”

They stared at each other.

“Do we both know?” Romeo asked.

“Yes,” Chad looked away. “It was ... it was ... wow, that’s what it was.”

Romeo snorted. “It was certainly that.”

“You had bald patches.”

“I did.”

“I tried to reassure you that it looked okay.”

“You failed spectacularly.”

Chad smiled, and it was too much to look at.

Romeo averted his gaze, brushing his fingers over his beard. “I’ll trim this down, get it looking good again, and then you can cut my hair in the kitchen when I’m done.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

****

Chad was waiting in the kitchen when Romeo came back down. He quickly looked away from Romeo’s shirtless body, but his blush built, glowing up his cheekbones.

“Here,” he said, pushing out a chair with a bit too much force.

Romeo caught it before it tipped and hit the floor.

“Sorry,” Chad said, still not meeting his eye.

Romeo positioned the chair and sat down. It felt like minutes before Chad came up behind him.

“I’ll just...”

He touched Romeo’s hair, tentatively at first.

“Get on with it, Chad.”

Romeo closed his eyes, zoning out to the buzzing of the clippers, and Chad’s fingers brushing through his hair. He relaxed, his head dropped forward only for Chad to chuckle and encourage it up again.

“Sure you don’t need those sleeping pills?”

Romeo frowned.

“Almost done,” Chad said, putting the clippers on the kitchen table. He grabbed a pot of hair wax he had ready and unscrewed the top.

“A little of this,” Chad scooped out a small amount and rubbed it between his palms. He paused and slowly brought his hands up to his face. He took a deep breath in through his nose, then stiffened.

“Problem?” Romeo asked.

Chad lowered his hands. He widened his eyes and quickly reddened under Romeo’s scrutiny. “I...”

“Sniffed the hair wax?”

Chad frowned at his tacky hands. “I liked the smell. It smells like...”

“Me,” Romeo supplied. “Get it in my hair.”

“Yeah. Sure,” Chad blurted, before brushing it through with his fingers.

His cheeks didn’t lose their red glow. He kept darting looks to the door, like he contemplated running.

Romeo expected Chad to cut his hair short, but he didn’t. Once it was done, it was still long enough for Romeo to tuck it behind his ears. The loss of the ends gave his hair more volume, and matched with the short stubble, Romeo felt at home in his skin again.

He looked good, and Chad tripping over nothing, and struggling to speak, only confirmed it.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Can ... can I ask you something?” Chad asked.

He had his back to Romeo while putting the clippers back into their box.

Romeo brushed hair from his shoulder. “What is it?”

“Did I ... did we ever...” Chad cleared his throat, building up to the question. “Did we ever mess around with drugs?”

Of all the questions Romeo thought Chad might ask, that hadn’t been one of them.

“No.”

Chad’s nod was jerky, unnatural. He turned around to face Romeo. “It’s just...”

“Just what?”

“Barry the Buzzman.” Chad leaned against the kitchen table. “I remember the name and have this vague feeling I met him to buy drugs.”

Barry the ... oh.

“I was angry with you when you told me you were off to meet a drug dealer,” Romeo let a slither of that anger show. “It was stupid.”

“What was I buying?”

“Chloroform.”

“Chloroform,” Chad echoed, he rubbed his brow, “Why chloroform?”

“It wasn’t for personal use. It was for a case. Chloroform was being used to kill the victims.”

“Josh told me about that one.”

Romeo nodded. “You wanted to meet with Barry the Buzzman to find out who was supplying him and whether his supplier was connected to the murders.”

Chad’s eyes widened. “The fridges. The huge fridges. They were making a new club—”

“Goddess.”

“—ripping out the fridges and freezers. That’s where the killer was getting the mass quantities of chloroform, from those old units. He was using his car to kill them.”

Romeo nodded. “Barry helped you solve the case. He pointed you in the right direction.”

“Tate,” Chad’s face fell. “It was Tate.”

“It was Tate.” Romeo agreed.

“I didn’t save him. I didn’t get him out of the car—”

“You saved his brother Shawn.”

“I should’ve done more.”

Romeo got to his feet. “You feel that about every case you’ve ever worked on. You’ve never been satisfied with the result because you hold yourself up to impossible standards.”

“Why?”

“You don’t feel worthy of a life. You never have and think you can prove to yourself, and others that you are, but you set yourself up to fail. You can’t stop every murder. You can’t save everybody.”

“Is that why I did it? Because I can never ... win.”

“We win. Every time.”

Chad’s brow folded. “Except against Vincent Whitehall.”

Romeo bit the inside of his cheek.

“Maybe that’s why then. I thought we were invincible and found out we weren’t.”

Romeo didn’t reply.

Chad lifted the box with the clippers. “I better go put this away.”

He brushed by Romeo, disappearing into the living room.

The door latched behind him.

Romeo thought of Vincent.

He thought of his promise to Chad to poison his time.

It had been poisoned.

Romeo made an excuse to check on him five minutes later, claiming he needed something vital from the living room. Chad tried to assist his make-believe search for a cooking book, but Romeo had growled, not too kindly, for him to stay put on the sofa.

He paused in the doorway before leaving the room, “I won’t let him win.”

“But—”

Romeo shut the door on Chad, cutting off his reply.

Chapter Fifteen

Two magpies picked about in the dirt outside.

The smaller songbirds, always so flighty and easily spooked, knocked the feeders, sprinkling seeds from above.

Romeo watched, stony-faced from the kitchen window.

A sight that had once filled him with such joy, only made him itch.

He waited for the raven to interrupt the harmony outside and cause chaos, but it didn’t make an appearance.

That should’ve been a relief, but it put Romeo on edge.

He didn’t believe the raven had gone, it merely waited somewhere in the shadows.

“Where the hell are you?” he murmured, beneath his breath.

He shook his head. The small birds took flight, and the magpies went with them.

When Romeo was seven years old, a pair of magpies lived in an oak tree in his garden. They made their nest together and Romeo had climbed up the tree intent on destroying the home for reasons he didn’t know but instead squeezed the life from every egg the pair had made.

He didn’t know why he did it, but he knew it felt good.

The magpies watched him do it from the roof.

They saw what a monstrous boy he was, and yet the next year, they rebuilt their nest in the exact same spot.

And the year after that.

And the one after that.

For seven years, the same thing happened until Romeo found the magpie in the garden, injured, and weak, its mate nowhere in sight. He kept it in a box in the shed, and it cawed, and screeched, but its mate never came back.

It was alone, and after a few days it accepted its fate.

Romeo had never given much thought to the other magpie, he was too invested in the injured one, but he stood at the kitchen sink, frowning at his empty mug, wondering about the other magpie.

It could’ve been killed, but there had been no dead magpie outside or scatter of feathers like something had attacked it. No, it was far more likely that magpie upon seeing his injured mate had abandoned it and flown somewhere new.

Birds were like that—they left behind the sick or injured.

All Romeo knew was there was one magpie in his garden when there had once been two, and it had the bad fortune to have been found by him.

Romeo’s gaze was drawn to a drawer in the kitchen.

He tilted his head, staring at it before he gave in and opened it.

The drawer had all sorts of random bits, pens, screws, wires. It was the same drawer Chad had hidden the leaflet about Mercutio.

Romeo picked out the box of temazepam.

He pulled out the pack, and pushed his forefinger into the empty blisters, one after the other.

Chad had taken four.

Just four.

Why four?

Romeo frowned at the empty spaces.

Did he take them the last four days they were away, or did he take them at the beginning and not like the side effects?

He’d been ill.

Confused, dizzy, unsteady on his feet.

Not a cold like Chad had led him to believe, but symptoms of the medication.

Romeo dropped the box on the side and tugged his phone free of his jeans.

He typed in side effects for the medication but with an extra word.

Rare side effects.

The one in a hundred thousand side effects.

The side effects people ignored because they never thought they’d fall victim to them.

Romeo exhaled a slow breath, shutting his eyes.

It was the first one that came up.

Suicidal thoughts.

“Fuck.” He scrubbed his face with his hands, breathing out a tired sigh against his palms. His gut sank in his body, pulling him down.

A prickle of awareness rushed down his spine, and he turned, locking eyes with the painting on the wall. It was his own painting, but it was as if his mother watched him.

Romeo’s dad had asked him to paint the starry-eyed lovers for their twentieth wedding anniversary. They’d met while both performing in Romeo and Juliet, neither the star, they had minor roles, but that was where they fell in love.

That was why they chose the name Romeo.

His parents had loved each other.

Romeo had never seen them row.

He certainly had never seen one threaten to kill the other.

When one was ill, the other took care of them.

And illnesses weren’t always of the body, they could be of the mind too.

They could be sudden, completely unexpected, and punch a hole through the norm.

Unconditional love meant love regardless.

Chad loved him despite his inclination.

He loved Romeo despite the monster that currently wanted him dead.

Romeo dropped the medication in the drawer, then called out for Chad.

His heart thumped in the silence. He hurried, checking each room before slipping on his shoes to try the outhouse.

He froze when he found Chad outside.

Romeo kept his distance, not wanting to interrupt what he knew was an important moment.

Chad crouched on the ground.

His breaths came quick and shallow as he lay a hand to the dirt.

Lucinda had fallen there.

If Romeo could keep a memory from Chad, it would be that one. He’d go further, and forbid Chad’s mind from remembering anything about Vincent Whitehall and all that happened after Chad met him.

“This is where I killed her.”

“Yes.” Romeo said softly.

“I killed her.”

“You did it to protect me. To protect us.”

“I remember...” Chad bit his lip, “You wanted me to kill someone. You liked the idea of it—”

“Never like that...” Romeo shook his head. “I never wanted you to be in that position. I wish I did it, not you.”

“She had a family. Sons. Grandchildren.”

“Most people have a family. Everyone I’ve killed has had a family.”

Chad squeezed his eyes shut. “Don’t you feel ... guilty?”

“I don’t—”

“I didn’t mean for the ones you’ve killed, but the ones that are left behind.”

“Guilt. I don’t think it’s an emotion I possess, or at least not in the way it affects you.”

“Do you want me to describe what it feels like to you?”

Romeo hesitated. His tongue twitched with the desire to reply there was no point, he’d never understand guilt, but he and Chad hadn’t discussed his feelings about Lucinda in any detail. Romeo had left Josh and Ally with that responsibility, and he regretted not trying to understand himself.

Chad swallowed. “It’s a helpless feeling. I feel helpless and ashamed. My actions took a loved one away from her family, and I can’t give her back. I’ve put a permanent scar on that family, and I can’t do anything to put right that wrong.”

“The alternative was losing all this.” Romeo glanced at the house. “Losing me. Losing us. When you apply that to the scales of wrong and right does it change things?”

Chad didn’t answer.

“I’ve always known I’m wrong. In the way I think, and feel, and react. I hated being different. But from that first life I took I realized everyone else’s wrong, is my right. It’s all a matter of perspective. Mine is just different to a normal person’s. But I equally deserve to be alive and live the way I was supposed to.”

“Am I a normal person?”

“No.” Romeo snorted. “You’re far too complex to be considered normal, but you’ve always strived to do the right thing in other people’s eyes. You’ve always been desperate to prove your worth but it’s never led you to happiness.”

Chad bowed his head.

“You’re happy with me. I’m wrong to some, I’m evil and monstrous, but I’m your right. You made a choice that day.”

“I know.”

“Do you now regret it?”

“Never.” Chad said, looking at Romeo.

“It was the right choice. The only one you could live with.”

Chad nodded.

“Then this thing you call guilt, this helplessness and shame, you’ve got to let it go, Chad. Vincent has poisoned your life like he said he would, but you’ve got the antidote. Let Lucinda go. Let everybody go. They’ve taken far too much of your time already.”

Chad pushed to his feet. He nodded somberly, backing away from where Lucinda had fallen.

Romeo didn’t move as Chad headed in his direction. He stiffened when Chad stopped beside him, gaze locked on the sleeve of Romeo’s t-shirt.

“Can I?” Chad whispered.

Romeo didn’t quite know what he was asking for but nodded to the request.

There was a shaky inhale from Chad, then he reached for the short sleeve, folding it up until the fabric bunched on top of Romeo’s shoulder. Three silver lines shone in his skin. They dipped, pressing into his muscles, the remnants of the shotgun blast that had been meant for Chad’s head. Lucinda was no longer there, the field had soaked up the blood, but Romeo’s body still had evidence of that day.

Chad stroked his thumb against the biggest scar as he bit his lip to the point it bled. Romeo resisted the urge to cup his cheek and force his lip from the pinch of his teeth.

“You saved me.”

Romeo pressed his lips in a grim line. That day, he’d saved Chad, but for the past week he’d been trying his hardest not to kill him.

Chad slumped and rested his cheek to Romeo’s bicep. He hugged Romeo’s arm to him, releasing a shuddering breath. When he exhaled, Romeo felt his warm breath against his skin, and then a single kiss with chapped lips. Romeo’s eyes fluttered at the sensation, and he closed them, allowing himself a moment of peace, but all too soon Chad let go, and continued towards the kitchen door without glancing back.

Romeo rocked forward on his feet, heart racing as his bicep began to cool from Chad’s touch. It was too brief a moment, too small a respite. He clutched his arm, attempting to keep the warmth of Chad for as long as possible but it faded, and he jolted at the sound of the back door clicking shut.

He looked towards the outhouse, the usual place he’d retreat to when his emotions got too confusing, but instead, he turned in the direction Chad had gone and followed him into the kitchen.

Chad stood at the sink drying his hands on a tea towel. The kitchen smelled of soap and the sink gurgled from the draining water.

“Romeo?”

Romeo stopped in front of him. “Kiss me again.”

Chad blinked. His lips popped open like he didn’t quite understand what was being asked of him.

“Kiss me again.” Romeo repeated.

Chad’s eyes roamed, jumping from Romeo’s arm to his cheek, to his lips. “W-where?”

And maybe if Romeo wasn’t so single minded, he would’ve found Chad’s response amusing, but instead of a teasing comment or a twitch of a smug smile, he blurted in a broken voice, “Anywhere.”

“Why?”

“I just need you to.”

Chad gripped the counter behind himself while lifting onto his tiptoes. He pressed his lips to Romeo’s cheek, then his jaw, then his throat.

Romeo balled his hands into fists and closed his eyes.

He smelled like Chad. He used the same shampoo, and bodywash, their shampoo and body wash. Chad’s lips were slightly rough when they skimmed Romeo’s skin. He felt like Chad when Romeo pressed him against the counter, same firmness and height, and heat.

“I’ve missed you,” Romeo murmured, “I’ve missed you so fucking much.”

Chad stopped kissing him. He wouldn’t look Romeo in the eye. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Romeo, I—”

“No,” Romeo interrupted.

Romeo cupped Chad’s jaw. There was fear in Chad’s brown eyes, apprehension, but he still looked at Romeo the same way he always had. Romeo’s fingers twitched against Chad’s skin, digging in harder.

“I’m sorry—”

Chad tried to shake his head, but Romeo held him still.

“I haven’t handled any of this the way I should have. I haven’t known how to handle it. You...” Romeo shut his eyes. “You’re my everything, but I had to accept I couldn’t be everything for you, that there’s certain parts of me lacking—”

“That’s not true.”

“It is. If you asked me three months ago what’s the worst thing I could imagine, I would’ve answered losing you. Someone taking you from me, but in my head it’s an impossibility, no one is ever going to take you from me and whoever would be foolish enough to try,” he snorted, “well, I bet you can guess what I would’ve done to them.”

“I think I have an idea.”

“I never thought you’d be the one to take yourself from me.”

“Romeo—”

“Wait.” He pressed his thumb to Chad’s mouth. “And it hurt, more than I’ve ever been hurt. I hated you for that. I hated you for every lie that came from your lips about how you loved me, how we’d be together, even at the end we’d be together, but it doesn’t make sense.”

“What doesn’t?”

“You killed Lucinda for me. For us. You said goodbye to the detective. You made that choice. I don’t believe you could go from choosing me over everything to leaving me behind. There must’ve been something else going on. Something you couldn’t control.”

“What do you mean?”

Romeo opened his eyes. “Those sleeping pills.”

Chad glanced to the unopened box on the side. “What about them?”

“You took them. Only four, but they made you ill. They made you unsteady and confused so I looked up the rarer side effects on my phone. They can make you suicidal. I think they fucked with your head.”

Chad swallowed. “You think those pills are the reason I-I—”

“Yes. Don’t you?”

“I’ve not even thought about it until now.”

“You weren’t well when we were away. You told me it was a bug you’d picked up from Ally, but there were moments where you looked lost, where you were restless, where it was clear you were distracted. I think that was part of it, a reaction to whatever is in them.”

A deep frown settled on Chad’s face. “Maybe...”

“Maybe? This makes sense, Chad. It explains why it came from nowhere. You weren’t feeling suicidal before them, because you would’ve told me, right?”

“Right,” Chad whispered, lowering his gaze.

“You haven’t been taking them since you were in hospital and you’re not feeling suicidal right now?”

“No, but—”

“It was those pills” Romeo breathed. “And I’ve been punishing you the whole time for something that wasn’t your fault, something you couldn’t control. They almost took you from me,” He blinked, letting the words settle in his chest.

He’d almost lost Chad.

“You ... you died.” Romeo murmured.  “Your heart ... it stopped.”

Chad glanced down at his chest. “It did.”

“But you came back.”

Chad nodded. “Yes. I didn’t have much to do with that, it was—”

“You came back,” Romeo repeated.

There had been confusion, then worry, then anger, so much anger, and then this... Romeo didn’t know how to categorize it. Chad had died, maybe only for a few minutes, but he’d been gone.

“I’m still here,” Chad said softly. “I’m still ... yours. If you want me.”

“What do you remember?”

Chad lowered his gaze. “I don’t remember that day—”

“I’m not asking about that day. I’m asking about everything else.”

“I remember the barn,” Chad flicked his eyes up to meet Romeo. “I remember the magpie. I remember Marc Wilson, and Holly Stevenson and Dr Carter. I remember the compromise. I remember crossword puzzles and bad dad jokes, and great food. But I don’t remember how much I love you.”

The last sentence landed like a punch. Romeo didn’t say anything. He couldn’t say anything, and Chad continued.

“I’ve never needed to remember that. It’s something I know. It’s in here,” he touched his chest, “solid and true. Even if it terrifies me.”

“Why does it?”

“At first, because of who you are. Romeo Knight. The Countdown Killer. I’m in love with him, but then it was because you were Romeo, my Romeo, and you were angry, and I could see the hate in your eyes. I felt how much you wanted to kill me. And now, I’m terrified you won’t believe me when I tell you I love you. I’m terrified that if you ever say it to me again, I’ll hear the lie in your voice. I’m terrified I’ve ruined it all, I’ve ruined us.”

“No,” Romeo pressed his forehead to Chad’s. “You haven’t. it wasn’t your fault—”

“But it might have been. We don’t know for sure. We might never know.”

“I know it wasn’t,” Romeo replied firmly. “Tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

“That you love me.”

Romeo leaned away to get a good look at Chad. Chad’s eyes were wet, and he bit down on his lip to stop it shaking.

“I ... love you.”

Chad’s voice cracked. His eyes spilled tears, but he didn’t look away, he let Romeo see past the sadness. It was there in his gaze, in the way he shivered and paled at the thought Romeo might not believe him.

Romeo heard Chad’s quickening breaths and felt his racing heart.

“And I love you.”

Chad flinched, tearing his gaze away.

“No,” Romeo said sternly. “Don’t do that. You look at me,” he squeezed Chad’s chin until Chad did just that. “You look at me when I say it so there can be no mistake. I love you, Chad. I’ve never loved anyone or anything before you, and there will be nothing after you, and I’m sorry—”

“You don’t need to be sorry.”

“Yes, I do. For doubting us.”

“But Romeo—”

“Shut up,” he replied softly, leaning down to bring his mouth to Chad’s. “I don’t want to waste another second not kissing you.”

Chad pulled his mouth away, but Romeo chased him until Chad groaned and pressed back. His lips parted for a deeper kiss.

Romeo pressed his tongue inside Chad’s heat, groaning into it.

He tasted like Chad. He kissed like Chad. He moaned like him when Romeo slid his hand down to his throat and gave him a brief squeeze.

Because he was Chad, and Romeo had been stupid enough to push him away.

“It’s me that’s sorry.” Chad whispered against his lips.

Romeo shook his head and gave Chad a stern glare before kissing him again.

He licked. He sucked. He mauled. Chad shivered and shuddered, accepting whatever Romeo did to him. Chad’s breath caught when Romeo slid a hand under his t-shirt, stroking over the scars that were hidden to his eyes, but he knew by touch alone. He dragged his thumb nail over the extra sensitive three and Chad jerked, sliding his mouth against Romeo’s, smearing their spit and breaking their kiss.

“Fuck, Romeo,” Chad panted.

Romeo raised an eyebrow. “Did you forget how sensitive you were there?”

“I’ll admit there’s gaps in my memory when it comes to ... this,” he heaved for breath, looking Romeo up and down. “It’s kind of overwhelming.”

“What is?”

“You.” Chad licked his lips. “Your ... body. Your smell, your taste, even your goddamn voice,” he shivered. “It’s a lot.”

“Will it make you feel better to know I’m feeling the same right now? Overwhelmed by you. It’s been so long since I’ve got to touch you, since I’ve felt anything but anger.”

“I guess...” Chad swallowed. “That means we should take things slow.”

“Yeah,” Romeo agreed, “But we’re not going to. In fact, I think we’re going to take things rather quickly.”

Chad smiled. “I’m okay with that.”

“Good.”

Chapter Sixteen

Romeo ground himself against Chad, growling at the layers between them and needing them gone. He reached for the top of his own jeans first, trying to pick the button open, but pain flared in his palm, and he stopped.

“Let me.” Chad murmured.

Romeo nodded, and Chad fumbled his way through undoing Romeo’s jeans. He ducked his head, concentrating on the task at hand while Romeo pressed kisses at his temple and nipped his ear.

The pressure eased as his jeans slipped down a few inches, and he let go of a blissed sigh. Chad glanced up, asking for permission. Romeo kissed his cheek, granting it, and a second later Romeo’s boxers had joined his jeans high on his thighs and his cock was out, straining and hard.

“Fuck.” Chad whispered. He looked up again, licking his lips. Romeo caught Chad’s wrist before he could close his hand around Romeo’s cock and begin jerking him. It wouldn’t have taken much, not with Romeo as worked up as he was.

He led Chad’s hand to his own jeans, and he got the hint, unbuttoning and yanking them down along with his boxers.

He was hard and beautiful, and Romeo ignored the warning twinge in his hand as he gripped him. A gentle slide of his fingers down Chad’s cock made it drool and coat him in sticky pre-cum.

“I’m so fucking close already,” Chad murmured.

He watched with blown pupils as Romeo brought his fingers to his mouth, smearing Chad over his bottom lip, he pushed them onto his waiting tongue.

He tasted the same as he always had, the perfect bitter tang that tingled Romeo’s tastebuds and ached his jaw.

Chad whimpered, and Romeo opened his eyes, not realizing he’d shut them. He wanted to take Chad in his right hand and jerk him off until he was coming against him, but a flex of his hand put a wince on his face.

“Can I?” Chad murmured, hovering his hand above their crotches. Their cocks weren’t touching, Romeo had unconsciously shifted his hips away, teasing them both with the distance.

“Not yet.” Romeo glanced over his shoulder, then looked back at Chad. “Take your t-shirt off. I want to see you.”

Chad swallowed, then did as Romeo asked, peeling it up his body and over his head. He folded his arms awkwardly in front of his chest once he’d dropped it until Romeo pushed them away.

“And your jeans. Take them off. I want everything off.”

Chad stripped.

Even his socks ended up on the tiles.

Romeo backed away, still able to shuffle despite his jeans tight around his thighs. He pulled out a kitchen chair, positioned it to face Chad, then sat down.

“Come here.”

Chad approached. His nakedness and his apprehension had taken some of his hardness, but it only made Romeo’s own cock ache.

“Get on my lap.”

Chad straddled him, gripping Romeo’s shoulders.

“Closer.” Romeo murmured, wrapping his arms around Chad’s back and pulling him up his thighs. Their cocks brushed, and their balls came to rest together. Chad’s hips twitched, Romeo rocked forward, then they were grinding.

Their cocks slid, crowns rolling together. Romeo felt the swell of Chad’s cock against his own, knew he was close, and rutted his hips, pressing himself against Chad’s cock.

He leaned his head down and spat on their cocks.

Chad cursed, clawing at Romeo’s shoulders.

“Do that again.”

Romeo dribbled onto their cocks before spitting. Chad tipped his head back, groaning. His eyes were unfocussed as his hips began to work, rocking faster and faster on Romeo’s lap.

The chair legs knocked against the tiles, tipping enough that Romeo had to grip the edge of the table with his left hand.

They were both close, swollen and edging the thin line of orgasm. Romeo slowed the frantic pace of his thrusts, and Chad followed suit, until they were slow grinding while exchanging slow blinks of awe.

Romeo broke eye contact to look down. He bit his lip, groaning at the sight of their cocks ready to blow. Chad’s answering moan sounded wounded. He didn’t look down, he watched Romeo.

“Look at us,” Romeo twitched his eyebrows, encouraging Chad to join him in spying on their cocks.

“Oh, fuck, Romeo.” Chad panted weakly.

Romeo hummed in agreement. It was intense looking down on themselves like that, hips twitching with a need neither of them could deny. Their cocks were shiny and swollen, and slippery with spit and pre-cum. Romeo couldn’t recall seeing them like that before, pressed tightly together, both as hard as possible, shivering with how close they tiptoed the line. Romeo’s cock was longer, and thicker, but not by much. Chad’s crown was a deeper red, and his slit was more open than Romeo’s.

Romeo let go of the table to roll his palm across their crowns. He paused, then rubbed his pinkie against Chad’s slit. Chad’s hips jerked, then he panted frantically as if trying not to come. 

“Romeo.” He gasped.

Romeo hummed, and used his thumb, firmer, as he stroked Chad’s slit, over and over until Chad’s hips began twitching, rocking, and, possessed with need, he finished himself by thrusting against Romeo’s cock, moaning Romeo’s name.

Romeo looked past the eruption of cum to Chad’s bare foot on the tiles, stretching as his toes spasmed. Chad reached between them, jerking Romeo off until his eyes rolled back, and a low groan escaped him as he came, hitting Chad’s bare chest and running down his scars.

Chad let go and dropped his head forward onto Romeo’s shoulder. He breathed hard, stopping every so often to swallow.

Romeo drew lazy patterns against Chad’s back.

Chad’s relaxed sigh warmed Romeo heart.

“This,” Chad murmured, snuggling his face into Romeo’s throat. “This is familiar. We’ve done this lots of times.”

And it was true.

“Do you forgive me?” Chad whispered a while later.

“Yes. Now I know there was nothing to forgive.”

“Romeo...”

“No more,” Romeo murmured, pressing his fingers to Chad’s lips. “Let’s warm you up in the shower.”

Chad slipped from Romeo’s lap and gathered his clothes. He led the way to the bathroom and once under the spray, he whispered in Romeo’s ear that he remembered there was something he absolutely loved doing before sinking to his knees.

Romeo tried to resume washing his body, but once Chad’s lips were around him, he could do nothing except grip Chad’s hair and enjoy the sweet torture of his mouth.

****

Romeo dreamed of the magpie.

He’d found it in the corner of the garden, huddled between a stone pagoda and a fern.

One of its wings was neatly tucked at its side like it should have been, but the other touched the ground, unfurled, flashing white feathers when they should’ve been hidden.

Romeo knew it was injured.

Its beady eyes watched Romeo’s every move as he crouched down in the grass.

The bird changed.

In a blink it was Chad, injured, watching him.

He wanted to take Chad into the house, nurse him back to health.

Romeo reached a hand out towards him.

But rather than help Chad to his feet, Romeo wrapped that hand around Chad’s unresisting throat and strangled him where he had fallen.

He killed him.

Romeo woke with his hand around Chad’s throat. He didn’t squeeze. He only had a weak hold, one that hadn’t roused Chad from his sleep.

Romeo slipped his hand down Chad’s neck and stopped on his chest. He pressed to feel the solid steady beat of Chad’s heart. 

“Only a dream.” Romeo whispered to himself, but it felt more than that, it felt like a warning.

They may have reconciled, but part of him still burned with anger.

Part of him still wanted to punish Chad, hurt him so he couldn’t be hurt himself.

Romeo eased out a slow breath.

They were in the living room.

After their shower, Chad had meekly asked if Romeo wanted to watch something with him on Netflix and Romeo had agreed, pressing close to Chad on the sofa, and relishing in being able to breath him in again.

Chad, predictably, fell asleep first, and Romeo had lain down behind him, holding Chad to his chest while they’d slept. They were still in the same position except Romeo’s creeping hand that had found its way to Chad’s throat.

There were magpies on the bird feeder. Romeo couldn’t see outside, the living room window was still boarded up, but he could hear them, what he believed to be two.

One clacked, then a few seconds later, the other replied.

Romeo bit his lip, waiting for a terrible squark but it didn’t come.

Chad pressed back into him. “What is it?”

“What is what?”

“You’ve gone all tense.”

Romeo shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.”

Chad yawned. “This sofa is too comfy.”

“I can’t remember the last time we slept on it.”

“I can.”

“You ... can?”

Chad nodded. “We stayed up all night killing zombies. You were annoyed my score was higher.”

“I wasn’t annoyed.”

Chad smiled, rolling onto his back. Romeo had to grip onto him harder to ensure he didn’t fall off the edge.

“You were definitely annoyed.” Chad smirked.

Romeo shook his head. “You know what I can’t remember...”

“What?”

“The last time you woke up with a smile on your face.” He lifted his head to check. “One that reaches your eyes.”

Chad opened his mouth to retort, but he had no words. He frowned as he pressed his lips together.

“Why have the nightmares stopped?” Romeo whispered.

“I don’t know. You said about the meds—”

“You were having nightmares long before we went away, but now ... you haven’t had any. What’s changed?”

“A lot has changed.”

“No,” Romeo gripped the back of the sofa to haul himself up. “What has changed from the week before you didn’t come home to this one? You’re...” Romeo shot an accusing look at Chad. “More...”

“More what?”

“At ease.” He reached for Chad’s face, cupping his cheek he dragged his thumb beneath his eye. There were no deep, dark circles, not anymore.

Chad’s gaze was bright and focused.

“Romeo?”

“What’s changed?” Romeo repeated. “Something must have. You haven’t ... you haven’t been to the station... Was it the job? Was it always thinking you were never going to be good enough? Did letting go of that responsibility finally let you sleep?”

“I don’t know, but I’m kind of happy I’m not having nightmares anymore.”

“Can you remember when you did?”

“No.”

“You can’t remember any of your old dreams?”

“No, and I’m glad about that. They way you talk about them, they must’ve been bad.”

“They were.”

Chad’s stomach gurgled. “I’m starving. How does beans on toast for breakfast sound?”

“It sounds bland.”

“Bland is what I do best.”

“I’ll cook us something,” Romeo said. “I’ve missed cooking for you.”

Chad smiled, and Romeo admired the warmth in his eyes, basking in the look a moment until Chad’s stomach whined again.

Romeo left Chad stretching in the living room.

Like he’d heard through the boarded-up window, there were two magpies in the field again. They hopped around together while the songbirds dropped seeds from above.

It was far more peaceful than it had been before.

The magpies had needed to swoop, and knock into their feeders, unable to perch.

It had been chaotic, savage almost, the way they attacked the feeders for their food. Romeo had enjoyed watching them, but the calm outside was hard to look away from.

Romeo whisked up eggs, adding a chopped mushroom and some grated cheese to the mix.

Chad joined him when he poured the mixture into a frying pan.

“That smells incredible.”

“It’s only eggs.”

“I was talking about you,” Chad sat down at the table.

Romeo flashed him a quick smile, then went back to watching the pan. He glanced out the window just in time to see the shadow pass over the birds.

The songbirds took flight, and the magpies followed, and there was no squark of death.

But it was still there, the bad omen.

The dark shadow.

It hadn’t left like Chad said it would.

“Romeo?”

His heart thundered behind his ribs.

“I’ve missed something.”

“What?”

“I know I have...”

He flipped over the omelet to cook the other side.

“That night we went to the bridge...” Romeo started.

“What about it?”

“You had a brightness in your eyes, a fire, and I’ve only ever seen it when you’re working a case, and the way you were speaking ... it was the same as when we’d looked into Harriet’s disappearance.”

“Oh.”

“Oh,” Romeo repeated, twisting to face him. Chad stared at his hands, fidgeting on the table.

“You were treating your own suicide attempt like a case. Why?”

Chad shrugged.

“Try again,” Romeo said.

“Why does it matter? You said you thought it was the pills. I was just unlucky enough to be one in a hundred thousand that’s all.”

“Tell me why.”

“Because,” Chad lowered his head. “It didn’t feel right.”

“What do you mean?”

“It didn’t feel like something I would do. I can’t...” He shook his head. “I don’t know how to describe it, but no one was surprised,” Chad glanced Romeo’s way. “Except you. When I told you ... your reaction. I don’t know, I just wanted to see the bridge, and hoped I might remember something, but I didn’t.”

“Who prescribed you those capsules?”

“I don’t know,” Chad admitted, pointing to the unused box. “I got those ones from the hospital pharmacy.”

Romeo served up their breakfast, but instead of joining Chad, he yanked open the drawer with the other box of medication.

“But where are these from? I didn’t know you were seeing a doctor, you never told me.” He frowned, joining Chad at the table. “How long had you been seeing one?”

Chad kept his eyes low. “I don’t kn—”

“It’s okay,” Romeo said, reaching across the table to squeeze Chad’s hand. “I’m speaking aloud, that’s all, I’m not accusing you.” He used his nail to pierce the blister pack and removed a capsule. “What is in these things?”

“The ingredients are on the side of the box—”

“But how do you know that’s what’s really inside them?”

Chad paused, fork halfway from his plate to his mouth. He paled, eyeing the capsule like it might jump from Romeo’s fingers and bite him. “W-what do you mean?”

“There could be anything inside these.”

Chad continued to look wary.

Romeo rolled the capsule in his fingers. One half white, the other half green. “We don’t know where you got them or who you got them from.” He frowned. “The hospital prescribed you those ones on the side...”

“To help me sleep.”

“How did they know you had trouble sleeping?”

“Ally told my doctors.”

Romeo pinched the capsule. “They prescribed you the same medication, even though it might have contributed to your suicide attempt?”

“I guess...”

“They wouldn’t do that,” Romeo pulled the capsule apart. “They can’t have known about these.”

White powder sprinkled the table. Romeo ran his forefinger through it, and was about to press it into his mouth—

“Don’t!” Chad blurted.

“Why not?”

“In case...” Chad shook his head. He avoided facing Romeo. “In case you’re right.”

Romeo got up and crossed the kitchen to get the unopened box.

“What are you doing?” Chad asked.

The capsules looked the same. Romeo pulled one apart, sprinkling the same fine white powder over the worktop.

He stiffened at the hand on his shoulder. Chad stood behind him, biting his lip.

“The pictures on your phone.” Romeo blurted.

“What pictures?”

Romeo brushed Chad’s hand from his shoulder, searching the kitchen for Chad’s phone. “There’s a folder. Where’s your phone, Chad?”

Chad pulled it from his pocket. “Here.”

Romeo took it, scrolling the phone until he found the folder.

He pressed down on the woman’s smiling face before showing Chad.

Chad gave her a blank look, then glanced back up at Romeo. “I don’t know who she is. I don’t remember.”

Romeo exhaled, clicking off her picture.

“What’s going on, Romeo?”

“I’ve missed something,” he shook his head. “I know I have. There’s still something here. There’s still a shadow over us.”

He pressed down on the man’s face.

“Him,” Romeo said. “What about him?”

Chad had the same blank look on his face, then it changed. His breath caught and his eyes went wide, and his mouth slowly opened like he wanted to scream, but no sound came out.

“What is it?” Romeo asked. “Who is he?”

Chad didn’t answer.

“Chad?” Romeo studied him. His skin leached of color. He was shaking. “Shit.”

He put the phone down. “Breathe, Chad.”

Romeo cupped his face. “Jesus.”

He could hear Chad’s heart booming. He felt it when he pulled Chad close.

“Hey,” Romeo said, stroking Chad’s cheek. “You keep this up, you’ll pass out. You’ve got to breathe.”

Chad stared straight through him. Whatever he was seeing wasn’t Romeo.

“You’re okay. You’re with me. I’m here, Chad. I’m. Right. Here.”

Chad inhaled sharply.

“That’s it,” Romeo said. “And let it out, don’t just hold it.”

Chad’s eyelashes fluttered. He let out his breath.

“Perfect.” Romeo said. “Close your eyes.”

Chad did as Romeo directed.

“Breathe with me,” Romeo hugged him, tucking his face out of sight of the world. Chad breathed against him, slow and steady, until his heart calmed down. Romeo rubbed circles onto Chad’s back, waiting until he’d relaxed enough to speak again.

“Fuck,” Chad croaked, peeling his cheek from Romeo’s chest.

“What happened?” Romeo asked.

“I don’t know.”

“Do you know that man?”

“No... I don’t know...” Chad’s brow folded in pain. “Do you know him?”

Romeo’s shoulders slumped. “No.”

“I guess we’ve got to find out who he is then...”

“How?”

Chad leaned back. “We can always search for the images online, see where they came from, that’s a start.”

His eyes were bright again, determined.

“That sounds like a great idea.”

Chapter Seventeen

Romeo insisted on researching the woman first.

Chad gave him a look that said he knew why but didn’t protest dragging her picture from the email Chad had sent to the laptop and into the search bar first.

The results were immediate, and Chad clicked on the top one.

Tragic Murder Suicide.

Chad scrolled down to the picture of the woman Chad had on his phone, except in the article it was complete and had a caption beneath.

The woman, Alexandra Taylor, stood beaming for the camera in an expressive looking dress. Her husband, Jimmy Taylor stood beside her, in a three-piece suit, also smiling, and in his arms, he held their son, Issac Taylor, clutching a plush toy, dressed just as formally as his parents.

Alexandra had jumped with her son in her arms from a bridge to a road below, killing them both instantly.

“Anything?” Romeo asked, watching Chad intently.

Chad began shaking his head, then stopped.

Romeo perked up. “What is it?”

“That day when me and James were driving back to the prison with Vincent in the car...” Chad leaned closer to the screen, scrolling back up the article. “The road was blocked. There had been an accident, but I didn’t know what it was. When James got back into the car, he was shaken, said that a mother and child had been killed.”

“This mother and child?”

“The location and date match,” Chad slumped back in his chair, shaking his head. “But... I don’t know who she is or why I cropped her from a family picture and put it on my phone. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Romeo said, pulling out the chair next to Chad. He sat down, resting his hand on Chad’s thigh.

“Ready for the next picture?”

Chad swallowed. “You don’t need to worry. I’m not going to freak out again.”

“I’m not worried,” Romeo replied, “not worried at all.”

“Four letters. Starts with an L, ends in an R with an I and an A in the middle.”

“Lair? You want to go to my lair?”

Chad nudged him. “Idiot.”

“I do the crossword clues, not you.” Romeo took charge of the laptop, dragging the other picture into the search bar.

Again, the articles popped up.

Thomas Clegg.

Forty-three.

Romeo side eyed Chad. Apart from an initial hitch in his breathing, he didn’t react.

The complete picture showed Thomas with his brother Joseph. Thomas had shaggy brown hair, but Joseph had none whatsoever. They both beamed in the picture, both wore matching blue football shirts, and both had a can of lager in their hands.

Thomas had jumped from the top floor of St John’s parking ramp.

“They both killed themselves,” Romeo exhaled. “In Alexandra’s case, she killed her son too.”

“Why are they on my phone?” Chad whispered.

“I don’t know. They both ... jumped from a height.”

“I didn’t... I wasn’t...” Chad pushed back in his chair and got to his feet. He began pacing up and down the kitchen.

“Wasn’t what?”

“After ... tips. I don’t know. I wasn’t planning this, Romeo, I swear. I didn’t plan to kill myself.”

“Okay, lets...” Romeo brought up both articles so he could read them side by side. “Thomas had a history with depression. It wasn’t his first suicide attempt. And Alexandra was suffering from postpartum depression, had been since the birth of her son. They were both taking medication.”

Chad paused. His eyes lingered on the drawer with the box of used temazepam.

“Does it say what type?”

“No,” Romeo followed Chad’s gaze. “But I’m unconvinced those capsules are what you think they are. There are no directions for use on the box, and I couldn’t find a prescription receipt in the car. You can’t remember where you got them from or visiting a doctor who prescribed them.”

“We need to find out what medication they’d been taking, whether it’s the same.”

Romeo looked back at the articles.

“It just says medication for depression and sleep disorders. A standard autopsy was performed on Thomas. He had a high level of alcohol in his blood. His death was recorded as suicide. It wasn’t the first time he had attempted to end his life. The previous time, his brother had managed to talk him down from a church rooftop.”

“What about Alexandra?”

“Alexandra’s husband had a second autopsy carried out. Although he fully accepted she suffered from postpartum depression and had been acting erratic around the time of her death, he rejected the straightforward findings of ‘suicide’ from the initial coroner, and privately paid for another to investigate the death of his wife and his son.”

“Does it say the ruling of the second autopsy?”

Romeo shook his head. “What would a second autopsy find that the first couldn’t?”

“It’s more thorough privately done—they do tests the standard autopsy won’t.”

“Like what?”

“Like ... like....”

Chad’s eyes widened. “I need to make a call.”

“What?”

“I ... I need to find out the results of that second autopsy.”

He snatched his phone off the kitchen table, scrolling through until he found the name he’d been looking for.

“Who are you calling?”

Chad held his finger up in a wait gesture, then spoke into the phone. “Hey, Dave, it’s Chad. I need your help with something.”

Romeo heard the murmur of Dave agreeing to assist in any way he could.

“I need you to find me the coroner’s report for Alexandra Taylor. I know, I know,” Chad said, slapping a hand to his face. “You’re not supposed to, I know it’s against protocol and you could lose your job if you’re found out, but please, as one last favor to me.”

Chad slumped when Dave agreed and allowed a small smile for Romeo.

“Specifically, I need you to tell me what was in her hair.”

Romeo stared at Chad, then mouthed to him, ‘her hair’, Chad nodded, undeterred.

He sat down, bouncing his leg on the floor as he waited. Romeo pressed his hand down on his leg to stop the impatient fidget.

“Two unexplained substances,” Romeo heard Dave say.

Chad held his breath, springing to his feet again. He paced the kitchen, one hand clutched the back of his neck.

He stopped. “Thank you, Dave.”

Dave said something back, but Chad cut him off, ending the call. He exhaled a long breath at the ceiling.

Romeo held out his hands. “Well?”

“When I was in the hospital, after I ... did what I did.  They didn’t know whether I was going to recover or not. There were tests, blood and urine, but they were clean. No drugs. No alcohol. But Ally, always suspicious and protective, went one step further. She had my hair tested.”

“Your hair?”

Chad nodded. “She wanted to know whether I had been under the influence of something when I did what I did. Drugs don’t last long in your blood or urine, but they can be found in your hair days and weeks after consumption. They found two substance traces in my hair. The same two that were picked up in the second, more thorough, autopsy on Alexandra.”

“And what were they?”

“Zolpidem and lysergic acid diethylamide, more commonly known as LSD.”

Romeo gaped, doing his best to recover his voice. “I don’t understand?”

“Zolpidem is used for insomnia, it slows down the brain, and LSD stimulates the brain.” Chad bit his lip. “Two opposing drugs.”

“Did you—”

“No,” Chad interrupted. “I didn’t take them. I’m certain of that. But they got in my system somehow. They last mere hours in the urine and blood, but for up to ninety days in hair.”

“So, in the last ninety days someone has slipped you these substances?”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Chad recoiled. “Because I didn’t know.”

“I meant since you’ve been back. You had these tests at the hospital, knew you had shit in your system but didn’t say anything.”

“Up until a few days ago I strongly believed you hated me, and would continue to hate me until I died, most likely at your hand, besides...” He sighed. “It didn’t mean anything. These drugs, they’re in my hair, but they’re long out of my system. They would have had no effect on me or the decision I made that day. It didn’t seem relevant but now ... now there are two of us.”

Chad tapped his phone, frowning in concentration. He pressed it to his ear.

“Josh, I need you to come over. Bring Ally. I’ll explain when you get here.”

He ended the call and slid his phone back into his pocket.

“The capsules?” Romeo asked. He glared at the box. “Whoever gave them to you, could also have given some to Alexandra?”

Chad retrieved them from the drawer. “I’ll ask Josh to send them for testing.”

“Those substances no longer would’ve had an effect on you or Alexandra, you said so yourself.”

“But it’s a hell of a coincidence, don’t you think? You need to tell me everything that happened in the weeks before our vacation. Where I went, who I spoke to, my behavior,” he frowned, “whether there were any instances where you tried to call me and that I didn’t answer or didn’t explain where I had been. We need to work out where I got those capsules from.” His eyes tracked back and forth as he thought. “We’ll never know if Thomas had a trace of these drugs in his system, too, but maybe there are others.”

“Others?”

“Suicides with a thorough autopsy that may’ve picked up on these substances.”

“Why did you call Josh?”

“Because,” Chad shot Romeo a smile, “the best way to distract a detective is by giving him another case.”

****

In the weeks before their vacation, Chad had been withdrawn, quiet.

He’d been back and forth to the station with meetings with his DI, the chief of police, and god knows who else Chad had to be shamed in front of. They demanded his badge, and his handcuffs, and left Chad with a stark warning to watch his back.

He’d told Romeo Lucinda Hasting’s son, Andrew, had pinned him to a wall and yelled in his face about murdering his mother.

Romeo had only just contained himself.

Andrew immediately went on the list only for a dejected Chad to demand he was taken off. Romeo reluctantly honored his wish.

Chad always answered any calls from Romeo and always replied to his texts.

Nothing screamed at Romeo that something had been wrong, other than the obvious—Vincent Whitehall had won against them and taken the detective from Chad in the process.

But someone had got close enough to slip Chad something, or, more likely, someone had convinced Chad to try the tampered with sleeping tablets to cure his insomnia.

Josh and Ally were in the living room with Chad. Romeo kept the bedroom door ajar, hoping to hear their conversation, but they spoke in low voices.

Romeo lay on the bed upstairs with the laptop open beside him. He had two tabs open, one on LSD and one on Zolpidem.

The voices downstairs became more heated. Romeo slipped off the bed, carefully choosing where to place his feet to avoid the creakiest of floorboards, he pushed open the door and stepped into the hallway. He sat down out of sight, frowning as he picked out Josh’s voice filled with more heat than usual.

The stairs whined.

Romeo stiffened, only to snort softly when Mercutio appeared at the top of them.

“Hey,” Romeo whispered.

Mercutio rushed over, vibrating with excitement. Romeo scratched him under the chin as he got comfortable in Romeo’s lap.

Voices spilled into the hallway downstairs—Chad and Josh, arguing.

“Listen to me,” Josh said sharply.

Romeo held onto Mercutio’s collar so he couldn’t rush downstairs and interrupt.

“I know it frustrates you that you can’t remember what happened that day,” Josh continued, “but what exactly are you suggesting? That someone slipped you and Alexandra a dose of something in the last few months and you happened to go on to attempt suicide, her succeeding and you not.”

“It’s a pattern.”

“It’s a coincidence.” Josh argued. “Frank could’ve slipped you—”

“It wasn’t Frank.”

“How can you be so sure? Maybe that was what he was doing while you were at the cottage, maybe that’s why he vanished when you were in the hospital, he thought he was about to be found out.”

“I know he didn’t—”

“He left you!”

Romeo bit his tongue. Allowing Josh, hell, anyone, to raise their voice like that at Chad needed swift retribution. The slash across Romeo’s palm twinged as he curled his hand into a fist. Josh was a big guy—he wouldn’t go down easy.

Mercutio licked his chin, rousing him from his darkening thoughts.

“At your lowest,” Josh continued, “he left you, and you still defend him.”

“I’m not defending him.” Chad snapped back. “What about Alexandra?”

Josh growled in frustration. “What about her?”

“She had the same—”

“You have no idea what she was taking and when she was taking it.”

“You’re right, but her husband—”

Josh made a pained noise. “Please tell me you haven’t.”

“Haven’t what?”

“Contacted her grieving husband.”

“I haven’t ... yet.”

“Please, Chad,” Josh pleaded. “You’ve got to let this go.”

“I can’t.”

“Can you not see there’s too many missing pieces for me to even consider what you’re suggesting—”

“Then help me find them.”

“Those drugs were out of your system. They would not have led to suicidal intentions.”

“They shouldn’t have been there, though.”

“No,” Josh sighed. “They shouldn’t have been. But Alexandra, you know nothing about her or about her circumstances. She could’ve been using it to self-medicate and you can’t go harassing her husband. It’s a coincidence.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Chad...”

“What about these?” Chad said.

Romeo frowned. He closed his eyes in the hope it would somehow enhance his hearing.

“What are they?”

“They’re capsules to help with insomnia, or so the box claims. There’s no direction for use, no signature from the pharmacist, no receipt of the prescription, and yet I had them with me. I took them. Four of them. What if the same person gave them to Alexandra?”

“Shit...”

Romeo’s eyes snapped open at the other voice. He’d forgotten Ally was downstairs too.

“I gave them to you, Chad.”

A heavy silence fell over the three downstairs.

“What?”

Josh asked, not Chad.

“You hadn’t been sleeping well. I suggested you call my doctor, and you did but he couldn’t make you an appointment until after your vacation. I had plenty of temazepam, so I gave you some. You were reluctant to take it from me, but I threatened to come on holiday with you if you didn’t and you gave in. I watched you put the box in your car.”

“Jesus, Ally,” Josh hissed. “You can’t go around giving out your meds.”

“I was trying to help.”

“Wait,” Josh said, “Is that why...”

“Why what?” Chad asked.

Josh’s voice took on an angry edge. “The tests. You demanded so many tests to be done on Chad when he was in the coma. You wanted to know whether he’d taken anything. You wanted to know whether you were the one to put him in there.”

“I looked up the side effects. I thought ... I thought I might’ve been responsible,” Ally sniffed, “But he hadn’t taken any. They weren’t in his system. Not even his hair, so I know they weren’t the reason.”

“The packet has four capsules missing.” Chad murmured.

“Yeah. That sounds about right.”

“I didn’t take them.”

“No,” Ally replied. “You didn’t.”

“Fine,” Chad’s voice shook, “But there was still LSD and—”

“Stop.” Josh snapped. “You were going through a lot, maybe the thought of coming back Bardhum was too much, and you ... did what you did to escape everything that’s happened. You tried to kill yourself and it’s not because of what was detected in your hair. You made that decision that day. You did.”

“No.”

“Chad...”

“I promised.”

“Promised what?” Ally asked.

“I promised I wouldn’t kill myself, not ... not like that, never like that.”

“Promised who?”

Romeo’s heart skipped.

“Myself.” Chad answered. “I promised myself.”

“Well, you lied.” Josh replied.

“Josh,” Ally said in warning.

“Well, he did. He lied to you, he lied to me, he lied to himself, and the thing is, I’m not even upset with him about it because I understand. I couldn’t last ten steps in your shoes, let alone a mile, Chad. You’ve gone to hell and back several times, but this... You’ve got to let it go.”

“I can’t.”

“You’ve got to. You’ve got to start looking to the future, not searching for the unanswerable in the past. Some asshole, at some point, spiked you, and thankfully nothing sinister came of it, but it didn’t lead to you jumping from that bridge.”

“You need to look for the link between me and Alexandra. We both jumped. We both had these substances—”

“I can’t do this anymore.”

The front door opened.

Romeo heard someone leave.

“Josh,” Chad said, going after him.

“Merc!” Josh bellowed from outside.

Romeo released Mercutio’s collar. “Go on.”

Mercutio bounded away, thundering down the stairs. He yipped as he rushed outside.

Romeo sighed, leaning his head back on the wall.

He straightened when he heard the bottom step creak, then the next.

Someone was coming upstairs.

Romeo glanced at the door to the bedroom, but if he moved, they’d hear, hell, if they got high enough up the stairs, they’d see.

“What are you doing?”

Chad’s voice cracked like a whip.

“I...” Ally whispered. “I thought I heard something ... or someone.”

“There’s no one up there.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m pretty sure, Ally.”

“Huh...”

Romeo expected Ally to retreat, to apologize perhaps, but there was silence.

A long stretch of stifling silence.

Romeo imagined they were staring each other down. He stayed completely still, even holding his breath in case Ally was close enough to hear him.

Josh broke the moment by honking the horn.

Ally sighed, finally backing down. “He still blames himself.”

“I told him he shouldn’t.”

“He thinks if he’d had offered to come here instead of asking you to his place, you never would’ve jumped.”

“I’m certain that me ... falling had nothing to do with Josh.”

“Falling? Not jumping?”

“Ally, I know you think I’m looking for answers where there are none to be had, but I feel it, I feel it in my gut. This isn’t black and white.”

“I’ll talk to him,” she whispered.

Romeo slumped when she left, thumping his head to the wall behind him.

Chad didn’t just shut the door, he locked it too.

“That didn’t go the way I hoped,” Chad said up the stairs.

Romeo went to join him by the front door. “Okay?”

“Yeah. You?”

“I think I’m going to reward myself with a glass of brandy.”

Chad narrowed his eyes. “Reward yourself?”

“For not marching downstairs and killing Josh for shouting at you. That required a lot of willpower.”

Chad snorted softly. “Thank you.”

“What for?”

“For not marching downstairs and strangling him.”

“You’re welcome.”

Chapter Eighteen

The magpies, and the other birds were back on the feeder Friday evening.

Romeo shook his head at them.

They hadn’t learned.

The predator still lurked close by, but they were outside again, putting their lives in danger.

“Why do you look at them like that?”

For all Chad had remembered, the raven alluded him.

“Romeo?”

“Before we went away. A raven swooped down in front of us and killed one of the magpies.”

“I don’t remember.”

“I know you don’t. There were more magpies back then, six, but it killed one of them. Then the next day, I put seed out, and I sat outside for most of the day, but the minute my back was turned, it came and killed another magpie. I wanted to protect them but couldn’t. I threw rocks where I knew the raven hid but couldn’t kill it.”

Chad joined him by the window, looking out on their field.

“The next day, I removed the feeders. But the magpies still came. They hopped about in the field, looking this way, waiting for the seeds, and the raven killed number four and number three until there were two left.”

“Those two?” Chad asked.

“I reckon so. You told me not to interfere. To let nature run its course and balance would be restored. That is what I am doing, but it doesn’t make looking out the window comfortable viewing.”

“They look pretty content to me.”

And they did, or as content as a magpie could look.

Romeo sighed, glancing at Chad. “Sorry.”

“There’s no need to apologize.”

“Have you heard from Josh?”

Chad shook his head. “I’m giving him some space.”

Romeo nodded.

“So...” Chad clapped, looking around the kitchen. “What are you making me?”

“Very forward of you.”

Chad shrugged. “What can I say? I love your food.”

“How does apple and blackberry pie with custard sound?”

“It sounds like you’ve gone into my head and picked out the recipe guaranteed to get you a blowjob.”

Romeo laughed. “It will take about an hour.”

“It would take less time if you used shop bought pastry...”

“Never,” Romeo pinched Chad’s side. “I can’t believe you’d say such blasphemy.”

Chad grinned. “Just think, quicker the pie, the quicker I get down on my knees for you.”

“Or the longer the pie, the more anticipation builds for the both of us.”

Chad hummed. “Or...”

“Or?”

“I give you a little taster and you might hurry proceedings along...”

Romeo caught Chad under the armpits as he tried to drop to his knees.

“A tempting idea.”

Chad pouted. “Obviously not tempting enough.”

Romeo leaned in to kiss Chad on the lips. Chad surged onto his tip-toes, keeping the kiss going, and Romeo indulged, pressing his tongue into Chad’s mouth. Chad’s hands were everywhere, stroking up Romeo’s sides, on his neck, in his hair. Romeo snorted, bringing their kiss to a stop.

“Don’t laugh at me.”

“I’m not laughing at you.”

Chad frowned. “You’re certainly not laughing with me.” He poked Romeo face where his smile twitched. “What’s this all about?”

Romeo opened his mouth, about to tell him he smiled because a spark had returned to Chad’s eyes. It had been dwindling for months, maybe years, going out so slowly that Romeo hadn’t seen, but it was back, along with his smiles and his flirtatious side.

The happiness Chad so easily expressed could be felt by Romeo too.

He felt happier, lighter.

Romeo didn’t get a chance to tell Chad all that, though. The instant his mouth opened, Chad took advantage and kissed him again. Chad plastered himself to Romeo’s chest.

Romeo pulled his mouth away, then spoke by Chad’s ear. “Maybe I should give you a little tease of what’s to come later...”

“Later?”

“Tonight,” Romeo clarified. “When we’re in bed together.”

Chad shivered as Romeo forced his hand down the back of Chad’s jeans.

They’d rutted against each other like desperate animals, Chad had pleasured him in the shower with his mouth, and they’d kissed for long hours into the night since they’d started sleeping in the same bed two nights ago but hadn’t gone further.

“Yes,” Chad breathed, “Fuck, yes.”

He rubbed himself against Romeo, overwhelmed by the sensation of Romeo’s fingers creeping closer to his hole.

Romeo stroked against the puckered entrance, biting his lip. He wanted to wet his fingers, push inside, stretch Chad open, but he resisted despite his cock throbbing at the idea.

Chad’s pants for breath were only interrupted by his groans and huffs of frustration. He scrunched his eyes shut, and his eyebrows twitched as he rubbed himself without shame against Romeo.

“What are you thinking about right now?” Romeo asked, keeping pressure to a minimum.

“All the times before,” Chad replied. He shook his head. His glassy eyes were pleading when they locked on to Romeo’s. “Fuck the pie.”

“I’d rather you didn’t.”

“Romeo...” Chad whined, thumping his head against Romeo’s collarbone. “This isn’t fair.”

“You’re the one that started it.”

“Yes. Maybe. But you,” Chad pressed a finger to Romeo’s chest. “You kept it going. You ... you took advantage.”

“Took advantage?”

“You can’t fondle me there, then leave me hanging.”

“Fondle?” Romeo bopped his nose against Chad’s. “I’m barely touching you.”

“I know.”

Heat filled Chad’s cheeks.

“I’ll stop.” Romeo said, pulling his hand out.

Chad reached behind himself to grab Romeo’s wrist and pushed it back down his jeans. “I don’t think so.”

“Oh, really?” Romeo pushed off from the counter, pressing into Chad. “We’ve got to stop this or we’ll end up fucking in the kitchen.”

Chad smiled. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“I’m making pie.”

“You could do that or you push me over the table and have me.”

“I can do both, but the pie comes first.”

“You’d rather make the pie come than me.”

Romeo rolled his eyes. “You’re pretty much there anyway.”

He backed up a step to get a hand between them and gave Chad’s erection a squeeze. Chad’s bravado vanished the instant Romeo made contact.

“Please.”

Chad gripped Romeo’s other wrist to keep his hand against his cock. He held both of Romeo’s hands hostage, not that he was complaining.

“You’re going to leave the kitchen to calm down.”

Chad shook his head.

Romeo carried on regardless.

“I’m going to make a pie for us to eat. Afterwards, you’re going to get yourself ready for me in the shower and then I’ll give you what you want.”

“And what is it I want?”

Romeo stared into Chad’s needy eyes. “You want me to choke you unconscious while my fingers are inside you.”

Chad froze. For a second, Romeo worried he’d gone too far, then Chad started nodding. He kept nodding, looking stunned.

“Yes,” he whispered. “I want that.”

“Okay,” Romeo yanked his hands free. “And you can have it.”

Chad took a step towards him.

Romeo put every ounce of authority he possessed into his voice. “Later.”

“Later.” Chad repeated. “But ... why not now?”

“Because.”

“Because what?”

Romeo sighed, glancing at the Tupperware box on the side. “The apples and blackberries have thawed, and if I re-freeze them or put them in the fridge, they won’t taste as nice.”

“Are ... are you serious right now?”

“And I like the anticipation.” Romeo pushed Chad towards the door. “Now go. You’re too distracting to be in the kitchen with me.”

“You’re such a house husband.”

Romeo widened his eyes.

Chad winked as he left the room.

House husband.

He’d only ever referred to himself as a house husband once, at the cottage. Chad had been unable to recall anything about that week until that moment. Just two words.

It was almost enough for Romeo to follow him, pin him down and give Chad what he’d said he would.

‘You want me to choke you unconscious while my fingers are inside you.’

Romeo saw Chad’s dead body when he blinked. His hand around his throat, fingers digging into his skin, dripping red down his neck. His cock deep inside him when rigor mortis set in—

“No.” Romeo growled.

His erection had gone.

Romeo pushed the thoughts away and got started on the pastry.

Fifteen minutes later, while stewing the apples and blackberries on the stove, the living room door slammed.

Romeo took the pan off the heat. “Chad?”

Keys jangled.

Romeo opened the door just as Chad was leaving the front.

“Chad!”

Chad ran to his car and flung open the door.

Romeo pursued, but Chad took off, leaving Romeo behind.

“What the hell...”

He yanked his phone from his jeans, and tried calling Chad, but he didn’t pick up.

“Damn it.”

He took a step towards the outhouse before remembering he no longer had the car.

Chad’s car faded until Romeo could no longer see it on the horizon.

Chad had gone.

Chad had left him.

And the darkness inside of Romeo grew and he couldn’t ignore the monster’s snarl.

It seethed, it spat and hissed at the rejection, infuriated at how easily Romeo could be hurt.

He’d given Chad too much power over himself.

And it was time to change that.

****

Romeo found himself sitting at the kitchen table with his phone within reach.

Broken plastic glinted at him from the tiles from where he’d smashed the clock, driven mad by the constant beat of time.

The sun had gone down long ago, and he hadn’t got up from the chair to switch the light on. He waited in the darkness, not knowing what he was even waiting for.

His texts and calls had gone unanswered.

The camera footage offered little clues.

It recorded Chad’s crazed rush to the car, and him taking off at breakneck speeds.

On the third watch, Romeo noticed something scrunched in Chad’s fist, but no amount of zooming into the image could reveal what he held. Romeo had glared at the pixelated squares of something clutched in Chad’s grip, but he hadn’t unearthed the mystery.

Nothing was out of place in the living room. Chad had set up the TV ready for the next episode of the Spanish crime drama Romeo enjoyed.

Romeo pressed down on his phone, bringing up the time.

It was 3:00 in the morning.

3:00 in the morning when Romeo heard the grumble of an engine outside, getting closer. It got close enough that he recognized it to be Chad’s car, and got to his feet, numbly stepping out of the kitchen and into the hall. There was ringing in his ears. He opened the front door and stepped out in time to see Chad locking the car with the fob.

The lights flashed.

Chad was halfway to the house, halfway home when Romeo grabbed him by the throat. He rushed him, slamming him against the side of the car.

Chad gasped in pain, but Romeo didn’t care. He tightened his hold, using both hands on Chad’s throat. Chad’s eyes were wide, watering in the porch light. Romeo closed his eyes, not wanting to see the light leaving them.

There should’ve been euphoria, but there wasn’t.

Chad pushed against Romeo’s chest, and when that had no effect, he struck Romeo’s face, but his slaps were weak, useless.

Chad dropped, using all his strength to pull himself down, and to the right. Romeo lost his balance at the move and lost his grip too. He knocked into the car as Chad scrambled across the ground.

“Romeo,” Chad croaked. His throat sounded wrecked. “Stop it.”

Romeo pursued Chad, rolling him onto his back with his foot. “Can’t.”

He dropped down, knee on either side of Chad.

“Yes. You can.”

“It needs to be done.”

Chad slapped his hands to his own throat, covering it from Romeo. “Stop it.”

Romeo yanked at Chad’s wrists, trying to get him to let go.

“Why are you doing this? Why now?”

“I can’t let you do this to me anymore.”

“Do what?” Chad asked.

“Have this ... this control over me.”

Chad’s eyes widened. They were pink from where his blood vessels had burst. Romeo had done that. He closed his eyes not to see the damage. “Just shut up,” Romeo pushed the words through gritted teeth. “Just shut up and die like the rest of them.”

“I’m not like the rest of them.”

Chad wriggled but couldn’t move with Romeo straddling him.

“And control, Romeo?” Chad blurted. “Who’s controlling you right now? It’s not me. It’s not you. You don’t want to kill me, I know you don’t.”

“You know nothing.”

“You’re angry with me. I’ve hurt you. I didn’t mean to, I—”

“Shut up,” Romeo growled, covering Chad’s mouth. “You won’t let me strangle you, then fine.” He pinched Chad’s nose closed. “There’s other ways to kill you.”

He held fast as Chad thrashed his head against the concrete. “You left me.”

Chad stilled, his eyes were searching.

“You left me again.”

Chad tried to shake his head but Romeo didn’t let him.

“I didn’t know if you were going to fling yourself off another bridge or if you’d just vanish into the night and not come back.” Romeo’s eyes burned. “The sun, Chad, the fucking sun. It doesn’t rise when you’re not with me, that’s what I found out these last few months. It’s cold, it’s lonely and it never-ending. It’s just me and the darkness in my head and I hate it.”

Chad’s hands slipped from his throat. Romeo knew he was fading fast. He shut his eyes against it, scrunching them up tight. He didn’t want to see Chad go, didn’t want to witness the life leave him.

“I could handle that before, before I knew you, but not now. You put a heart in my chest. You did! And you broke it. You may not have meant it, it may not even have been your fault, but it hurt worse than anything, and I can still feel it.” His bottom lip shook. “I don’t want to feel it again. I don’t want you to have the power to do that to me. I’d rather... I’d rather do it myself. I’d rather break my own heart so you can’t ever do it again.”

Chad gripped Romeo’s wrist, but it was a feeble hold.

“You’re the light, you’re the sun. I don’t feel cold with you. I don’t even feel like a fucking monster. I feel like your Romeo, and you feel like my Chad.”

Romeo flinched at the touch to his face. He opened his eyes, looking down on Chad’s pale face. His eyes were closed, but his hand... It had cupped Romeo’s face, and his thumb smudged an escaping tear.

“I love you, I do, but I’m terrified of losing you. I have to do this so I won’t have to live with that fear.”

Chad’s hand dropped. It hit Chad’s chest with a dull thud, completely boneless.

He’d fallen unconscious.

Romeo stopped smothering and pinching and closed his right hand on Chad’s throat to finish the job.

It hurt.

His palm throbbed with fire, but he persisted.

He wouldn’t fear losing Chad.

It would’ve happened.

He would’ve taken the control from him.

The darkness would be his choice.

Being cold and lonely would too.

And his heart would die, and he’d never have to feel it be broken again.

Stop it.

Those were Chad’s words.

Not stop ‘this’ or stop ‘that’ but stop it.

The monster.

It growled and gnashed its teeth in encouragement.

It told him he was doing the right thing.

But he didn’t want to do it.

He’d stopped before, when he’d attacked Chad in the outhouse soon after they’d moved to Bardhum, but back then he hadn’t been full of anger, fear, and despair. The emotions were potent, easy for the monstrous side of himself to exploit. He’d never known them in their entirety until he’d met Chad. He’d turned the dial right up.

But he hadn’t known happiness or love until he met Chad either.

Those emotions had grown within him because of Chad.

And he wanted to keep hold of them for as long as he could.

What was the point of existing without them?

Which meant he had to put the monster in its place once and for all.

“Stop.” He pressed his teeth together until his gums ached. “Enough!”

Romeo curled over, resting his forehead to Chad’s chest. “I won’t let you take him from me. You don’t get to use my hands or my strength. He’s ours, and I can be mad at him, I can be confused and hurt but it doesn’t have to lead to this.”

His hold weakened on Chad’s throat.

“I always think of you as being separate to me, this monster in my head that takes over, but it’s not true. You’re part of me, but I’m not part of you. I’m Romeo Knight and you are the darkest part of me. There’s no going back into the cage, I wouldn’t want that even if it was possible, but I can’t be controlled by this darkness anymore. Not when I have a life that means more to me than death. His life, because it’s mine too and I need him to live.”

Romeo let go.

A volley of coughs exploded from Chad, and he tried to turn onto his side. Romeo climbed off him and eased him over until he lay in the recovery position, gasping and choking.

“Chad?”

He didn’t respond. His eyes remained closed, but he heaved and pawed at the ground with one of his hands. One of his covered hands. Chad wore gloves, black gloves.

The hoodie he wore was also black, oversized on Chad, one of Romeo’s he kept beneath the back seat.

“I’m ... I’m still alive.”

Romeo slumped. “You’re still alive.”

“You stopped it.”

“I did.”

Only just.

Chad began violently coughing again.

“You can’t do that,” Romeo murmured once Chad had stopped spluttering over the concrete. “You can’t disappear. You can’t ignore my calls and texts, not right now, not when I’m so ... unsettled. Not when...”

“When what?”

Romeo clutched his hair. “When it’s so loud in my head. It’s been so loud, Chad, ever since I found out you chose to take yourself from us—”

“I didn’t choose that,” Chad snapped. He groaned as he sat up and coughed into his elbow.

“It doesn’t matter whether you did or didn’t anymore. It’s the thought, and all the emotions that came with it are still there and you drove off without saying a word to me.”

Chad crawled as far as the car and propped himself up against it. “I shouldn’t have taken off like that.”

“No,” Romeo agreed. “You shouldn’t have.”

“I wasn’t ignoring you. I left my phone behind.” He shook his head. “No, that’s not fair. I shouldn’t have driven off like that. It was selfish. I’m sorry, Romeo.”

“And I’m sorry for almost killing you.”

Chad waved the apology away.  “You didn’t.”

“I—”

“You. Didn’t.” Chad repeated with more force.

“It was closer than you think.”

Chad touched his throat. “You still picked me. You picked us. All of us.”

“All of us?”

“The monster, the detective, Chad and Romeo,” he snorted. “We’re all still here, and we’re all us and we can’t have this disconnect. We need to work this out ... we need to...”

“Merge them all together.”

Chad nodded. “We’re all broken pieces, but they will fit together. It might not be a pretty picture but—”

“It’ll be perfectly imperfect. That’s what we are.”

Romeo watched Chad taking deep breaths for a few moments. Chad’s head dipped forward, like he was falling asleep, and he startled when Romeo said his name.

“What was in your hand?” Romeo asked, frowning. “When you left...”

“Oh,” Chad murmured, shoving his hand into the hoodie. “This.”

He held his hand out. Romeo hesitated before reaching back.

Chad dropped the rabbit ear onto his palm.

Romeo curled his fingers around it, still frowning. It was from one of Mercutio’s toys. He’d chewed both ears off.

“Why are you dressed like that?” Romeo cocked his head, studying Chad’s attire. “Where have you been?”

Chad smiled his way. “I was setting a trap.”

“A trap?”

“For our next victim.”

They were buzz words for Romeo’s brain.

Our.

Next.

Victim.

“You’ve been waiting,” Chad said. “You’ve been waiting so patiently, and I know it must hurt with how badly you need it.”

Romeo’s throat tightened. He nodded.

Chad’s brow twitched in sympathy, and he nodded too.

“Graham Brennan,” Romeo managed to get the name out.

“He was the last time,” Chad whispered. He shifted closer. “It’s been too long, I know, but I’m bringing someone to you.”

“Bringing someone?”

Chad nodded again.

Our next victim.

Romeo was still basking in the effects of Chad’s words as Chad struggled to get to his feet. He snapped to attention, and rushed over, steadying him.

“Okay?”

“Lightheaded,” Chad answered. He winced. “I’ve got a few more scrapes and bruises than when I set out, but apart from that...”

“When are we to expect this victim?”

Chad smiled. His eyes sparked. “I expect they’ll come here tomorrow. I’ve things to prepare first...”

“You’re not going to tell me who they are?”

“It’s a surprise. But I can’t wait to see you kill them.” Chad grabbed the front of Romeo’s t-shirt, twisting the fabric. Fire flickered in his gaze. “I really can’t fucking wait.”

Chapter Nineteen

Romeo woke before Chad.

They had crashed out together as soon as they got inside, Romeo exhausted from sitting at the kitchen all night in an anxious state, and Chad ... from doing whatever Chad had been doing. He stroked Chad’s throat, tentative at first, not wanting to see a flash of his nightmare. There were no bruises, but Romeo knew they would take a day or two to appear.

The only signs Romeo had almost killed him were his scraped elbow, and his bloodshot eyes.

Our next victim.

Romeo’s heart thumped.

It had been too long.

The sun came into the room through the crack in the curtains.

Romeo smiled at it, before smiling at Chad.

He stayed alive after his parents died to indulge the monster, but he only started living once he found Chad. There was more to life than the monster, there was him.

The buzz of Chad’s phone interrupted the peace, and Romeo reached over and grabbed it from Chad’s side table. A name he didn’t recognize flashed on screen.

Chad woke with a start but soon settled when he saw Romeo hovering over him. He gave him a small smile, then took the phone from Romeo.

“Hello,” Chad answered, climbing out of bed. “Are the police looking into... No, it’s completely understandable.”

Chad shut himself in the bathroom.

Romeo frowned at the door.

Pam.

Who the hell was Pam?

A few minutes later, the shower turned on.

Romeo waited in bed until a refreshed Chad reappeared with a smile on his face.

“Stop looking so worried,” Chad snorted.

“I’m not worried,” Romeo cocked his head. “I’m curious.”

Chad got dressed, undeterred by Romeo’s staring.

He came over to the bed to press a kiss to Romeo’s lips.

He tasted of mint.

“Any chance there’s some apple and blackberry pie downstairs with my name on it?”

Romeo glared. “There is zero percent chance of that.”

“Shame. Beans on toast it is then.”

He dazzled Romeo with another smile, then left the room.

Romeo got ready and joined Chad downstairs, fortunately before he started making beans on toast. Chad had cleaned up the smashed clock without comment, and the shards glinted at Romeo from the bin.

Romeo made pancakes while Chad scraped the pan of ruined apples and blackberries into the bin. Another phone call interrupted them, and Chad left to speak with the caller in the hallway, out of earshot of Romeo.

He returned with a snort. “I thought you liked anticipation.”

“I do.” Romeo replied, flipping a pancake. “Now make yourself useful and squeeze a lemon for me.”

They ate pancakes with lemon and sugar for breakfast.

Chad went outside to refill the bird feeder. He got another phone call, and Romeo watched from the window, studying his expression. It was apologetic, pained almost, but when he caught Romeo watching, he turned his back to him and continued his conversation without Romeo attempting to read his face or his lips.

When he returned, he gave Romeo a pointed look, and said. “Two hours.”

Romeo swallowed hard. His palms were sweating. “Two hours.”

Then Chad passed him, walking through the house, he unhooked the key for the outhouse and went outside.

Romeo paced back and forth like a beast in a cage, briefly pausing to poke his phone to know the time. His heart thundered, his fingers twitched, and a familiar fire filled his veins.

He didn’t interrupt Chad in the outhouse, although he was curious about what he was up to. When Chad returned, he had a folder pinned beneath his armpit.

He paused in the doorway, taking Romeo in.

“You look...” he licked his lips. “Good.”

“Good?”

“Really fucking good.”

Romeo studied Chad right back. His eyes were bright, and his smile reached them, but it wasn’t friendly in the slightest. It had a manic edge to it Romeo hadn’t seen on Chad before. “You look really good too.”

Chad snorted, then gestured with the folder towards the living room. “I just need to set things up in here.”

“In here?”

“Yes, Romeo, in here.”

He pushed into the living room. Romeo blinked after him.

Chad was bringing murder not just into their lives like in the outhouse, but into their home.

Chad nipped outside to grab something from the car. He kept it from Romeo as he took it into the living room. Romeo watched from the doorway. Chad had rearranged the armchair so it was in front of the door so the occupant would not be able to see the person behind them.

He nodded, happy with the arrangement.

“I’m going to take another shower,” he kissed Romeo on the cheek as he passed.

When Chad returned, Romeo’s mouth went dry.

Chad wore a crisp white shirt, and dark grey trousers.

His eyes were bright with no sign of tiredness, and he flashed a smile.

“Ready?” he asked.

Romeo couldn’t speak. He nodded.

Chad handed Romeo his phone.

Romeo took it with a frown.

“I don’t want any interruptions.” He nodded at the living room. “I think we’re ready.”

Chad’s phone buzzed in Romeo’s hand.

It was a camera alert.

Chad watched Romeo as he frowned down at the car heading up their road.

A blue Mazda MX-5

A car Romeo had never seen on their property before.

Chad pressed a hand to Romeo’s chest, pushing him back until they were out of the living room and in the kitchen out of sight.

Romeo continued to look down at the phone, even when Chad retreated, Romeo kept watching.

The car slowed outside.

Its wheels squeaked as it came to a stop.

The driver’s door opened.

And a woman stepped out.

She wore a cream blouse, and a long grey pencil skirt. Her mousy brown hair was tied up, and it swayed as she walked. She had a thick black folder clutched to her side, and in her other hand, she held a box.

Chad hurried out to greet her, and she smiled sweetly, bowing her head slightly at Chad’s approach. She handed the box over to Chad, and they both laughed, as they shook hands, then Chad gestured for her to follow him into the house.

It was only when Chad’s back turned, did her smile fall, and Romeo’s hackles, along with the hair on his arms, rose. The way this woman looked at an unaware Chad set alarm bells off in Romeo’s head.

They passed out of view of the camera, and Romeo heard the clomp of her heels in their home. “I hope you like them,” she was saying, not that Romeo had a clue what they were talking about. Blood rushed in his ears, and it was taking everything in him not to walk out there and strangle her for looking at Chad in that way, like he was a conquest.

“Who doesn’t like chocolate brownies,” Chad responded, and his voice was warm, and jovial.

They went into the living room, continuing their small talk. She asked about the window, and Chad explained he’d not yet had it replaced.

Chad’s phone buzzed again in Romeo’s crushing grip.

It was a message from Josh.

One name.

Keeley.

Chad left the living room and came into the kitchen. Romeo gripped his arm, pulling him close. “Keeley?” he whispered.

Chad nodded.

Romeo turned, about to rush into the living room and kill her, but Chad stopped him.

“Do you trust me?” Chad asked.

“Yes.”

Chad smiled and strode away to grab a tray from the cupboard. While he boiled the kettle, he added plates, forks, a pot of sugar and teaspoon to the tray.

Romeo blocked Chad’s path when he tried to return to the living room.

Chad shot him a sad smile, and mouthed, ‘stay close.’

Romeo stepped aside, allowing Chad to pass. He kept close, though, stopping by the door to the living room that Chad left open.

“Here we are,” Chad said, placing the tray down on the coffee table. Keeley popped the lid off the box she’d bought with her and held it out to Chad.

He picked a brownie with a smile and put it down on his plate.

Keeley pressed the lid back down on the box.

“Are you not having one too?” Chad asked.

Keeley chuckled. “I’ve had plenty, trust me.”

“I won’t feel right if I’m indulging and you’re not.”

“If I eat another one, Chad, I might burst, but you go right ahead.”

Chad raised the brownie to his mouth, poised to take a bite. Keeley leaned forwards in her chair, waiting for it, but instead Chad lowered it back to the plate.

“Is there any news about the break in?”

“No,” Keeley replied. “Pam said they’d trashed the place and stolen the new computers and the new TV in the waiting room. I’ve had to reschedule my appointments. I’m hoping the offices will be in use again by next week.”

“These house calls aren’t for everyone?”

“I didn’t want to let you down at such short notice ... considering.”

“Considering?”

“It was only three months ago that you attempted to end your life. These sessions are vital. They’re a safe place for you to unload your thoughts and feelings and it’s my job to help you work through them.”

Chad nodded. “The last few months have been a bit of a rollercoaster.”

“I imagine that’s putting it mildly.”

“I didn’t think I would get through it at times,” he lowered his gaze. “I’d felt like I’d lost my mind.”

“It’s understandable. What you went through and the complications of your injury, anyone would feel out of sorts.”

“But I found it again. I always find it, battered, and bruised,” Chad snorted. “It’s a lot more resilient than I gave it credit for and it feels clearer than in has in months, possibly years.”

“That’s ... good.”

“I’ve had to accept some hard truths.”

Keeley added two spoonful’s of sugar to her coffee. “Like what?”

“I always craved acceptance, more than that, I’ve wanted people to value me, think I’m worthy, think what I do is worthwhile. That no matter the beginning I had, I was somebody important, somebody that would do great things. I wanted to play the hero, but that’s all it was, playing a role.”

“It’s admirable, striving to be a good person. No one can fault you for that. If the world was full of just good people, it would be a better—”

“It’s not, though. It’s full of the selfish and selfless. The honest and the dishonest. Good people and bad people. I let people down, I made mistakes. I strived for the unachievable and beat myself up at not getting there. I set myself up to fall.” Chad’s smile was small. “I was bad at being a good person, but I think I could be good at being a bad one.”

“I don’t understand—”

“Also,” Chad interrupted. “I had to accept I was a liar. I lied to you. I lied to Josh and Ally. I lied to my superiors and colleagues.  I lied to the public. Most of all I lied to myself.”

“In what way did you lie to yourself?”

“A compromise? Really?” he laughed. “It’s not balance, it’s restraint. It’s a restraint on both parties and that creates strain, and it creates tension, and conflict and they will lead to a moment where you have to chose between doing what’s right and doing what’s wrong. And this time, there’s nothing to hold me back anymore, no sense of righteousness I’m desperate to achieve, and I choose the wrong.”

“I think we need to backpedal and go through these feelings one at a time.”

Keeley picked up the plate with the brownie and slid it closer to Chad on the coffee table.

Chad eyed her offering through a squint. “I’m not hungry.”

“The sugar will help.”

“It’s funny you say that...”

Keeley leaned back in her chair. “Why is that funny?”

Chad reached down beside the sofa and lifted a silver tin.  

Romeo cocked his head, studying it, but he was certain he’d never seen it before.

Without a word, Chad placed it on the coffee table.

The resulting silence felt charged. Romeo shifted his weight from foot to foot, uneasy with the atmosphere in the living room. Chad glared at Keeley, and Romeo assumed Keeley stared right back at him.

But there was fire in Chad’s eyes, anger, but he forced a smile to his face, dulling it slightly as Keeley broke the stalemate.

“That’s from my office...”

Her soft voice barely carried to Romeo standing behind her in the doorway. It wavered, felt fragile, but Romeo imagined that was the point. Everything about Keeley looked and felt delicate, from her slender frame to her porcelain skin, and sweet smile.

The eye just seemed to skim over her like she wasn’t a threat, but Chad stared at her like she was.

“It is.” Chad replied. “Your sugar tin.”

“You ... you took it. You’re the one that broke in last night.”

“Pam mentioned months back she was having issues with the computers. They needed updating. I have to say the new ones looked good before I ripped them out last night.”

Keeley got to her feet, shaking her head. “I don’t know what you’re playing at here—"

“I’m not playing,” Chad snapped. “I lied to everybody, but there’s one person I didn’t lie to. There’s one person who is your downfall in this game you played with me. I didn’t lie to him when I promised him when we die, it’ll be together.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I think it’s about time I introduced you to Frank...”

Chad looked to the doorway, and Keeley turned around, following his gaze. Her mouth dropped open, a gasp punched from her lungs. She caught herself on the edge of the armchair as she attempted to flee, flopping back onto the seat. In a mad scramble she flipped open her folder, dropping her pen and notebook and got her phone.

It was effortless for Romeo to surge forward and pluck it from her fingers. He held it hostage against his palm.

“Chad...” her voice cracked, “Listen to me—”

“No. You are going to listen to me.”

Keeley rushed in Chad’s direction. “Whatever lies he’s filled your head with, they’re—”

Romeo grabbed the back of her collar, stopping her from getting to Chad. She spun around, slapping his hand away.

“He hasn’t filled my head with lies, but you have.” Chad got to his feet. “Now sit the fuck down.”

Keeley glanced between them. Romeo reclaimed his spot in the doorway, keeping vigil. Chad sat back down on the sofa, and after her pleading looks at Chad were ignored, she inched closer to the armchair and sat down, shivering from head to toe.

“You can drop the act,” Chad told her.

“I’m not acting. I’m scared,” she snuck a look at Romeo behind her. “How is this even possible?”

“He moved to Bardhum with me. He’s been here the whole time.”

“He’s not...” Keeley shrunk in on herself.

“Not what?” Chad asked.

“He’s not your savior—”

“Yes, he is.”

“He doesn’t love you.”

Romeo cracked his knuckles behind Keeley’s head.

“Yes, he does.” Chad replied.

Keeley sniffed. “I’ve only ever tried to help you, Chad.”

“But that isn’t true, is it?” He blinked. “Then again, it could be. I’ve met a few serial killers like that, they think killing people is putting them out of their misery or preventing them from further sinning.”

Keeley wiped her face. “Serial ... killer?”

“Is this how you want to be remembered? A sniveling, pathetic, meek little woman and not the intelligent serial killer who doesn’t need brawn, or intimidation, she only needs her voice,” Chad’s brown furrowed. “And a few key ingredients.”

Keeley didn’t answer.

“I’ve met a lot of killers over the years, but I think I’m most impressed by you.”

Romeo bristled in the doorway.

Chad smiled. “Bar one.”

Romeo relaxed again.

“I haven’t killed anyone,” Keeley whispered. “I don’t know where this is coming from.”

“When Ally and Josh told me I’d tried to kill myself, it felt wrong. But there was a witness, and I had reasons. My health had been on the decline, and neither of them were surprised, they were sad, but the looks of their faces suggested it had been inevitable. I was always going to kill myself.”

“You struggled after Lucinda, you—”

“Do you want to know your mistake?”

Keeley stilled.

“I went to see you after I saw Romeo at the end of Ally’s garden.” His gaze dropped to the table. “You kept offering me coffee, not in a polite way, but in a pushy one. I kept declining, but when you eventually made your own, you accidentally made me one too. You were more concerned with trying to get me to drink coffee than the apparent hallucination I’d seen of the serial killer that kidnapped me.”

“I offered you a drink,” Keeley blurted. “You can’t condemn me for that. It was to help you relax, steady your nerves.”

“When I told Romeo I’d tried to kill myself, it was his reaction. His shock, his hurt, his anger that confirmed it for me. Something wasn’t right. There was something missing. I’d promised him we’d die together you see, and I’d run off and threw myself from a bridge without him.”

Chad reached over the arm of the sofa again and grabbed his folder.

He opened it up on his lap.

“Do you know this man?” he asked, holding up a print out of Thomas Clegg.

Keeley didn’t answer.

“Of course you do. He’s one of your clients after all. He burst into one of our sessions, disheveled, desperate. I ... froze.”

“And I calmed you down after his interruption.”

“He killed himself a week later. Jumped from the top floor of the parking ramp at St Johns.”

Keeley bowed her head. “I’m well aware of the clients I have failed. Thomas had a turbulent history with his mental health. It was not his first suicide attempt—”

“It was his last, though.” Chad held up the next print off. “Alexandra Taylor. Another of your clients. She was suffering from postpartum depression and jumped with her son, Issac, from a bridge to the road below, killing them both.”

“I know she did. I tried to help her. I tried to help Thomas, but in my line of work it’s a sad occupational hazard. My clients are troubled. They are suffering. I can’t always save them from themselves and every failure cuts deep. I carry it with me. You’re showing me two of my clients, two that tragically died, but where are the success stories, the people I’ve helped, the ones I’ve saved.” Keeley held up a shaky hand, gesturing towards Romeo. “This is his influence.”

Romeo glared at the back of her head. “He has a name.”

“I’m not a bad person, Chad,” Keeley said. “I try my best. I can’t help everybody. But I’m not... I’m not poisoning cups of coffee and talking people to their death. Can you hear how crazy that sounds?”

“It does sound crazy,” Chad agreed.

“And poisoned with what exactly?”

“Zolpidem and LSD.”

“LSD?” she laughed. “How would I even get it?”

“I’m sure you found a way.”

“Chad—”

“You should see the side effects and I’m not just talking about when you take them, I’m talking about when you take them away. Months of slow build up, reliance, and then to go cold turkey.” Chad shook his head. “Withdrawal is hell, and it’s made worst by not knowing why you feel so awful. You’re confused. Time seems to jump. You wake up, not knowing where you are or what you’re doing. I wasn’t sleeping. My head was a mess. I felt ... ill. I don’t remember getting into the car that day to visit Josh. I don’t remember walking miles to get to that bridge. I don’t remember jumping. But I do remember what it felt like to hit the water—utter confusion, and panic. I do remember what it was like struggling to break the surface, desperate not to drown. And when I did, I shouted for Romeo.”

Romeo looked at Chad. He could picture it. Water rushed in his ears. He felt the spray on his face. Chad had called for him. He’d broken the surface and called for him before being swept under.

Keeley scooted to the edge of her chair. “At our last session before you jumped, we spoke about medication, perhaps those symptoms you described were a side effect of whatever you were taking.”

“I wasn’t talking anything. When I think back to our sessions, I can’t remember them. I remember the surface level stuff, the small talk, but then nothing. An hour session and I can’t recall anything. I left feeling better for talking to you, not really understanding why, and that night I would sleep, and the dreams wouldn’t bother me.”

“Because I help you.” Keeley said, stabbing her forefinger onto her knee. “You’re my client and I care about you.”

“The dreams would get worse during the week. I thought I heard voices tormenting me. I’d wake up confused, irritable, distressed, and then it would be Saturday again. I’d have your session and I’d feel good, I’d feel lighter, and I’d sleep better that night, but the dreams would come back, and it was a cycle that kept repeating.” Chad shook his head. “But they weren’t voices, it was your voice, and the sound of storm, and you told me to jump. You told me I’d feel better if I jumped. Everyone would be happier if I jumped. Is that what you said to Alexandra when she was passed out on your couch too?”

“I didn’t—”

“Did you whisper in her ear that her husband would be better off without her? Did you tell her to jump with Issac in her arms, so he’d feel better too? And Thomas, did you say the same things to him? Did you tell him his brother, Joseph, would finally be free of the burden if he stepped off that car park roof.”

“I’d never—”

“I had a folder on my phone with their pictures, Thomas and Alexandra. He burst into the office during our session, and Alexandra, I saw her outside, pushing Issac. Issac dropped his Peter Rabbit, and Merc adopted the rabbit as his own. I linked them because I’d seen them. I couldn’t remember where, but I had. Two suicides. Both of them jumped. It didn’t sit right with me, but I didn’t get the chance to investigate.”

“That’s because there’s nothing to investigate.”

“You drugged us. You filled our heads with a need to jump. You made us reliant on these substances, and then, when you deemed the time was right, you took them away when we were at our lowest, stepped back, and waited for it to happen.”

Keeley shook her head, adamant. “This is ... this is...”

“It’s genius.” Chad smiled. “Truly. You don’t have to get your hands dirty, you don’t even have to be present when it happens. No one is surprised—in fact, in some cases, it’s expected. You help more than you kill, covering your tracks, and if anyone detects the drugs you use, it’s an unexplained trace found in your victim’s hair that a standard autopsy doesn’t even test for.” He ran out of breath. “Even this,” Chad placed his hand on the tin of sugar. “Your office is unlocked. You can claim it was tampered with at some point without your knowledge, hell, the fact that I robbed the computers so I could take it means it’ll be useless in a court of law. I’ve could’ve added the Zolpidem and LSD myself.”

“I’ve had enough of this now,” Keeley glanced over the back of the armchair at Romeo. “I’d like to leave.”

“You were never going to leave today. You came here, hoping I’d eat that brownie, hoping you could get your claws in me again and I’d fall unconscious so you could whisper your poison into my ear, but that was never going to happen.” Chad stared into Keeley’s face. “You’re going to die. He’s going to kill you, and I’m going to watch. But before that happens, you get the chance to either admit your genius or die a wide-eyed therapist with tears on your cheeks and snort on your lips.”

Chad stared.

Romeo waited.

Keeley wiped her hand across her cheeks. She’d stopped trembling and snuffling.

“You found out my biggest secret,” Chad whispered. “It’s only fair you share yours.”

“Thomas. Alexandra. You... It’s the tip of the iceberg.”

Chad nodded. “I thought as much. But it won’t be me searching for the bottom of it.”

“I guess not,” She turned to Romeo, holding a hand up to stop him when he took a step closer. “How many?”

Romeo tilted his head. When he’d finally let the monstrous part of himself free, he’d rationed his kills to five. Five times to feel how he was supposed to. Five times to play God. With Chad at his side it was no longer a count down. His kill count could go up.

It could climb and climb with no ceiling.

“You’ll be number ten.”

Keeley grinned. Her sweet façade fell away to something savage. “You’ve got a lot of catching up to do ... Countdown Killer.”

Through the boarded-up window, Romeo heard the magpies, chuckling, chortling, then screaming.

The raven, it was there too.

“Now?” Romeo asked Chad.

“Now.”

Chapter Twenty

Some people struggled. Some people froze.

Keeley attempted a different approach. Her unwavering gaze didn’t leave Romeo, and her lips curved into a confident smile when he took hold of her.

She wanted to be brave in the face of death, and she was. Up until she wasn’t.

Instinct took over, her arrogant composure died, and she pulled away, hands coming up and clawing at Romeo’s wrists. She jerked, trying to escape, trying to get away. Her feet slipped from her heels in her attempt. One of her hands swung for Romeo’s face but he leaned away, and she resumed scratching at his wrists.

He didn’t feel her nails cutting into his skin, not when he could feel everything else.

The monstrous part of him wasn’t caged or chained. It wouldn’t be again. It wasn’t a violent takeover of his body, it drip-fed through his veins, filled his muscles, expanded in his skin. They weren’t separate, never had been, it just had been easier to think of it that way when he’d been a child so eager to be normal, and man desperate to make his parents proud, always knowing he couldn’t.

His parents thought he was a good person when they died.

How wrong they were.

The two most selfless people on the planet had made a monster.

It wasn’t fair on them, they deserved a good son, but Romeo had respected them enough to wait until they were gone before allowing himself to be who he was always supposed to be.

A killer without conscience.

Romeo strangled Keeley with both hands, crushing the muscle in her neck into all it was designed to protect. Her arteries, her veins, her windpipe, the cartilage that protected her thyroid. It dug into Romeo’s palm until he adjusted his grip, pushing his thumb against the hard ridge, and applying pressure until it collapsed in on itself with a satisfying crunch.

Keeley made a choked sound as her knees gave out. Her eyes were wide, still unblinking, but they no longer stared at him in challenge, they were watering, and darting, trying to find something in his eyes, some doubt to exploit.

All his victims had used the same look on him. Romeo thought it must’ve been instinctual, something in the biology of humans that had been passed down through time.

Don’t kill me.

When people were too weak to fight, the eyes were the last resort.

They were supposedly windows to the soul.

That’s why Romeo never looked away at the end.

He wanted his victims to see he didn’t have one.

He had what he referred to as the monster instead and it was elated watching them slip away.

Romeo relaxed his grip, and the same instinct that made Keeley look for human in his eyes, made her take a painful jagged breath. He trapped the air inside her again, and she spluttered blood onto her lips.

Something had burst, or split, of torn in her throat, and blood gurgled at the back of mouth.

He wasn’t going to let this death be quick.

“You almost took him from me.” He pressed his thumbs into her throat, jabbing at the cartilage just to hurt her. “I didn’t see it coming.”

And he hadn’t.

He’d even encouraged Chad to talk to her about the nightmares, was always relieved alongside Chad when he came home from a session a little lighter, a little happier.

He’d not foreseen this predator on the horizon.

She’d hid herself perfectly.

“Romeo...”

Chad hadn’t kept his distance. He stood right up against him. Romeo dragged his gaze away from Keeley and onto Chad. His magpie. His Juliet. His damned detective who had put the pieces together and gifted Romeo the ultimate prize.

Chad heaved through slightly parted lips. His pupils had engulfed his irises, and his lashes fluttered with slow blinks as he stared at Romeo with want.

He swallowed. “Can I...”

“Can you?”

Chad licked his lips, reaching for Romeo. He squeezed Romeo’s bicep before brushing his fingertips along Romeo’s arm until he got to his hand. He stroked Romeo’s metacarpals, following them until he placed his own fingers on top of Romeo’s.

It was only then he realized what Chad was asking.

Romeo didn’t protest, or insult Chad by asking whether he was sure.

Chad had made his decision.

He didn’t want to be a bystander to Keeley’s murder.

He wanted to contribute.

Romeo groaned, letting his arm closest to Chad go limp, and hang down so Chad could step between him and Keeley and settle against his chest. Chad put himself in the middle of murder, tilting his head back, he asked Romeo without his gaze ever leaving Keeley. “Will you show me how?”

Romeo spoke into Chad’s hair. “Yes.”

He took Chad’s hand in his hand, slipped his fingers through Chad’s fingers, then took hold of Keeley’s neck. Chad pressed into Romeo’s chest, he turned his head slightly, so his temple touched Romeo’s chin, but he didn’t look away from Keeley.

“And the other one,” Romeo murmured, taking Chad’s other hand in his, positioning their fingers.

It was Chad’s palms against Keeley’s throat, but it was Romeo who applied pressure, using Chad’s hands to trap her breath, and make her choke on whatever blood vessels had burst open inside her.

It was Romeo doing it, Romeo killing her, all until it wasn’t just him.

Chad’s fingers twitched.

Then he squeezed too.

Chad strangled with him.

“Fuck,” Romeo’s voice shook. “Yes, Chad, yes.”

Chad didn’t say anything, he gripped onto Keeley harder.

His fingers crushed Romeo’s as his hold tightened again.

“You’re so fucking perfect for me,” Romeo said, stooping slightly to press a kiss to the side of Chad’s face. It was sloppy, wet, but he was caught between wanting to kiss Chad and wanting to spew out encouragements. He ended up doing an in between, pressing words to Chad’s cheek, to his chin, to his lips when Chad turned his head enough for Romeo to kiss him. “It’s us,” Romeo said. “It’s all of us, and it’s always going to be all of us.”

Chad’s lips parted, and with a desperate groan, Romeo leaned down, taking his mouth. They were kissing and killing, and Romeo’s cock wanted in on the action, throbbing in his boxers. Chad arched his back, rubbing against Romeo’s hard-on, teasing him through his jeans. Romeo bit Chad’s lip in retaliation, earning him a gasp.

Keeley gurgled, and Chad looked back to her. Romeo did too. Capillaries had ruptured beneath her pale skin, forking dark lines that stretched from her temples to her lips. Her eyes were open, but her irises had rolled back, staring into her own head, and the whites were pink, leaking at the corners. Through her parted lips, her tongue was visible, jutting, and coated in blood. Romeo’s gaze locked on her throat, his and Chad’s fingers entwined as they strangled her. His eyelashes fluttered as a wave of heat went to his cock. It was already throbbing painfully against his jeans.

“Can you feel her pulse, Chad?”

Chad shivered. “Yes.”

“Can you feel it slowing?”

Chad’s breathing hitched, then he whispered, “Yes.”

“Are you ready for it?”

It was an unfair question. Chad didn’t know what he was waiting for, but Romeo knew he’d know when he felt it. He shifted his hips, knocking them into Chad so Chad could feel just how affected he was watching Chad kill, not just watching but getting to experience it alongside him.

It was his ultimate fantasy, one he’d accepted couldn’t come true.

But it was happening, and not because Romeo had pressured him, or because he felt forced into murder.

Chad had chosen to kill Keeley.

He wanted to kill her.

And that realization alone was enough to make Romeo’s head spin.

He was never supposed to make Chad fall.

But he was supposed to catch him when he did.

And Chad fell further into the grey, closing the distance between them until they met with a jolt.

“Romeo...”

“I’m here, Chad. Keep going. We’re almost there.”

Romeo whispered encouragement in Chad’s ear, and told him to wait for it, wait for it, because it was coming, and it was going to be like nothing Chad had ever felt before.

It wasn’t the slowing beats, or the extra hard one right at the end. The moment peaked when no beat followed. “There,” awe filled Chad’s voice. “There. Romeo, it’s ... stopped. It’s stopped.”

Romeo let go of Chad’s hands and wrapped him up in his arms to catch him. He held him close while kissing the back of his hair, his ear, the side of his neck.

Romeo showered Chad in kisses, keeping him up.

Keeley was gone, but Romeo remembered the first time he’d killed, when he’d been inexperienced, and he’d needed to stay holding on to get familiar with the sensation of no pulse after feeling it so intensely. Even when it was slowing, he’d felt it through his whole body—zaps of electricity against his skin, it became his pulse, and when it stopped, it felt like being untethered, set free.

Romeo nestled his nose into the side of Chad’s neck. Keeley’s heart had stopped, but Chad’s sped up with excitement, with the flood of adrenaline and arousal. It mocked her, every flutter of the heart in his chest laughed at her.

Chad let go.

Keeley dropped like a stone.

Romeo ignored the thump of her body hitting the floor, too distracted with kissing the side of Chad’s neck and grinding himself against him. Romeo sucked a mark into Chad’s skin.

“She’s dead.”

Romeo hummed his agreement. “And you’re alive.”

He trailed a hand down Chad’s chest to his trousers where he felt the heat, and hardness against his palm. Romeo squeezed Chad’s erection. “You’re definitely alive.”

Chad tipped his head back against Romeo’s shoulder, rolling his hips as Romeo ground his hand on him.

“And I’m going to take full advantage of this.” He nipped Chad’s ear. “Your clothes. I want them off. Right. Now.”

Romeo unlatched Chad’s pants, then tugged at the zip.

Chad started on his shirt buttons, fumbling as he got swept up in excitement, lost to the haze of the kill.

It wasn’t quick enough.

Romeo shoved the sofa up against the wall, flipped the coffee table onto its side.

Romeo needed to be inside of Chad, and he wanted to tell him such, but instead, he pushed on Chad’s shoulders, forcing him to the rug. Chad made a startled sound as his knees connected with the floor, but Romeo didn’t spare it any thought. He pressed a hand between Chad’s shoulder blades, pinning him down. Chad struggled, still trying to remove his shirt, but there was no time for that, not when Romeo’s need outweighed everything else.

He needed to be inside of Chad while he was still riding his high, and he didn’t care if it was his cock, fingers, or his tongue, as long as it was his and as long as it was fucking into Chad.

Romeo yanked at the back of Chad’s pants, tugging down his boxers in the same grip. He spat on Chad’s lower back before feeding his saliva down Chad’s crack with his thumb.

“Fuck,” Chad growled, rubbing the side of his face on the rug. “I’m already clo—”

Romeo pulled Chad’s cheeks apart and used his tongue. He pushed, and pushed, until Chad was squirming, trying his best to crawl away, but Romeo didn’t allow it. He licked and sucked until Chad’s hole loosened, then started with his fingers, pressing them inside, curling them, rubbing them in a way he knew would make Chad see stars.

“Too much, Romeo,” Chad groaned. “It’s too much.”

Romeo relented, allowing Chad to catch his breath. He yanked Chad’s shirt, pulling it from his arms until he could he see the notches of Chad’s spine. He kissed every one until he was back at Chad’s hole, driving his tongue in almost brutally.

“Romeo!”

He flipped Chad onto his back, then got to his feet to remove his own clothes while Chad kicked off his boxers and trousers. Chad lifted his arms, reaching for Romeo so he could pull him down on top of him, but Romeo grabbed his wrists as he went down to the floor, and pinned them either side of Chad’s head.

Chad lifted off the rug, trying for a kiss, but Romeo kept out of reach.

“I’m never going to hurt you again,” Romeo whispered. “Not with my hands, not with my words.”

“I know,” Chad murmured back. “And I’m never going to leave you, not while we live, not when we die. Because I am yours, you are mine and it’s us. It’ll always be us.”

Romeo smiled. His eyes burned. He thrust his tongue into Chad’s mouth in the same manner he’d pushed it into his hole.

When he pulled back, Chad blushed, but there were tears in his eyes and a smile on his lips.

Romeo released Chad’s wrists, but he kept his hands by his head on the carpet as Romeo sat back. When he closed his right hand over Chad’s throat, he didn’t fear the monster taking over. His thoughts were only of making Chad soar even higher.

He used his fingers on Chad’s hole again, pushing inside. Three that were a snug fit as he began to squeeze Chad’s neck.

“Oh, God, Romeo,” Chad whimpered, tipping his head back.

Romeo chocked Chad unconscious while his fingers were inside him. He thrust them in and out of his hole when he began to stir, his body ceasing in pleasure.

When Chad’s cock looked on the edge of exploding, Romeo choked him out again, squeezing either side of his neck, and applying pressure beneath his jaw. Chad’s eyes rolled back, and his expression was one of bliss. Romeo pulled his fingers out while Chad was still unconscious, and replaced them with his cock, pushing inside his heat.

He cursed at Chad opening up for his cock. There was no resistance as he sunk all the way inside. Chad’s lashes fluttered and he groaned through gritted his teeth as his hole clenched around Romeo.

“Okay?” Romeo asked him,

Chad voice slurred. “I feel fucking amazing.”

Romeo snorted. “I agree. You do feel fucking amazing, especially when I...”

Romeo squeezed his neck again.

Chad’s head thumped against the floor as he passed out.

Romeo let go, then fucked Chad hard as he came back to him, whimpering and clawing at his sides. The sounds of pleasure he made weren’t human, and his tight body thrashed, tugged at Romeo’s cock, making it impossible to pull out.  

Romeo’s cock pounded and he bit his lips not to come.

The sensation was too addicting.

He had to put Chad out again, groaning into the crook of Chad’s shoulder when he came back.

“Romeo!”

Chad’s stomach contracted, his hips jerked up, pushing Romeo deeper inside him, then Chad came, thick white stripes slapped onto his skin, shooting all the way to his chin, and the back of Romeo’s choking hand.

Romeo followed soon after, curling over Chad, and sucking the come from the back of his hand.

Chad’s chest heaved, and Romeo was careful not to collapse his weight on top of him.

“You good?” he asked.

Chad nodded. “More than good.”

His voice was soft fuzz, drifting.

Romeo kissed from Chad’s neck to his belly button, not caring that his hair slid through the mess. He kissed all the way down, breathing Chad in before taking his cock into his mouth.

Chad jerked in surprise, arching his back against the floor. Romeo gripped his hips, pinning him down as he took Chad deep into his mouth. He sucked, and let Chad feel his hands on his body, leaving bruises like he left on their victims.

Chad got to wear them beneath his clothes. He got to admire them in the mirror. His bruises got to heal so Romeo could press them into his skin all over again.

Chad gasped Romeo’s name, his thighs trembled, and his cock quivered as he came for the second time in Romeo’s mouth.

Romeo swallowed it all, and even that wasn’t enough to satisfy him. He licked Chad’s dirty chest, following back up the trail of cum until he was at Chad’s mouth again, slipping his tongue past his lips so he could share his cum.

“Fuck,” Chad pulled back to nip Romeo’s chin. “Stop doing that.”

“Doing what?”

Chad’s cheeks glowed. “Making me taste myself.”

“You taste delicious. Can you blame me for wanting to share that with you? Besides,” Romeo brushed his nose against Chad’s, “I think you like it.” He licked Chad’s mouth as it pleaded for another kiss. “I think you like knowing where my tongue has been. On your cock. In your mouth.” He poked his tongue at Chad’s mouth, the tip only just passing his lips. Chad shivered.

“In and out of your body.”

“Stop it,” Chad murmured with no heat.

Romeo smiled, kissing Chad deeply.

Chad pushed his chest, forcing him back, until Romeo slipped off with a questioning frown. Romeo sat on the floor, back against the sofa as Chad crawled onto his lap, straddling him, knees either side of Romeo’s hips on the rug.

His brown eyes brimmed with love, and he used fingers to stroke Romeo’s hair away from his face, then held it with one hand at the back of Romeo’s head. He looked at Romeo for a long moment, and Romeo felt the look in his chest. It knitted his wounded heart back together, sealing it tight so it was only a scar.

“I love you.” Chad said, lifting onto his knees. “You know that, right?”

Romeo closed his eyes at the words. His smile was soft. “I know.”

He lined himself up for Chad so all he had to do was lower himself onto Romeo’s waiting cock.

“I love you too,” Romeo replied, reopening his eyes. “And you know that?”

Chad had been waiting for that reconnection. “Yes. I do.”

He sunk himself down on Romeo’s cock, never looking away. His hand tightened into a fist in Romeo’s hair, and he gripped the sofa cushion with his other hand to give himself leverage to fuck himself onto Romeo’s cock.

He rode Romeo hard, yanking his hair when he tried to lean in for a kiss. He wanted to watch Romeo come apart for him, wanted to ride him into oblivion, so Romeo let him. He rested the back of his head against the sofa, and through half-lidded eyes looked at Chad as he made Romeo come for the second time.

His magpie.

His Juliet.

His damned detective.

His Chad.

Chapter Twenty-One

Romeo kept Chad pressed to his chest, one hand at his nape, and his other stroking down Chad’s back. They hadn’t moved from against the sofa, and looking past Chad, Romeo assessed the room.

He’d flipped the table in his need for more space to get Chad down to the floor.

Coffee had hit the wall, and the cups and plate had shattered.

There were brownie pieces, and sugar all over the rug.

A fork

A teaspoon.

Keeley’s feet.

They were no longer in her high heels, they were bare. Her toes were pointed, stretched out in death. Romeo couldn’t see her face. She’d landed beside the armchair, leaving only her legs visible from his position. Chad had exhausted himself on Romeo’s cock and was more asleep than awake in Romeo’s arms.

Romeo frowned at a buzzing sound, darting his eyes around the room until they settled on his jeans. He did his best not to disturb Chad as he hooked them with his foot and dragged them closer. Chad grunted, shifting enough for Romeo’s spent cock to slip free of him. A gush of warm cum followed, dropping from Chad onto Romeo’s thighs.

The phone started buzzing again, and Romeo relented, taking a hand from Chad so he could pull the device free.

It was Chad’s phone.

And Josh was the caller.

“Hey,” Romeo murmured, nudging Chad’s temple with his nose. “It’s Josh. You might want to take it,” he looked at the room again. “To make sure he’s not on his way.”

Chad leaned back and took the phone. He collapsed against Romeo’s chest again with the phone to his ear.

“Did you get my texts?” Josh blurted. “About Keeley?”

“What about her?” Chad croaked.

“She was the link between you and Alexandra. She was your therapist. She was Thomas’s too. Six of her clients have committed suicide in the  last three years. So I dug a little deeper to see where she was before she moved to Bardhum. She lived in Preston for three years, eight of her patients committed suicide and before that, she practiced in Leicester. I haven’t begun investigating there yet.”

Chad leaned back. “Where are you right now?”

“I’m in the car. I’m on the way to yours.”

Chad looked wide-eyed at Romeo. “Why?”

“So we can work this thing out—”

“I’m not a detective anymore, Josh. You have others at the station now.”

“But ... but this about you. I want to run it by you. I want ... I want the chance to say sorry.”

Chad shook his head. “You don’t need to say sorry—”

“You told me something wasn’t right, and I didn’t listen. I only looked into it because Ally asked me to. Keeley, fucking Keeley. And I don’t know how it relates to what happened on the bridge that day, but I know it’s got something to do with her. It’s something to do with those drugs. They messed you up.”

“How far away are you?”

“About fifteen minutes.”

Romeo steadied Chad as he got to his feet. “I’ll see you soon.”

He hung up and tossed his phone onto the sofa.

“Fifteen minutes,” he repeated.

Romeo nodded, grabbing his jeans. He tugged them on as Chad was pulling up his own trousers.

“We need to get the car in the outhouse,” Chad said, glancing back at Keeley crumpled on the floor. “And her.”

Romeo nodded. “You make yourself presentable and clear up the mess. I’ll sort Keeley.”

He yanked on his t-shirt, then stepped past Chad to get to Keeley. He grabbed her limp wrists and hauled her up onto his shoulder in a fireman’s lift.

Chad pushed the armchair back into position before turning his attention to the coffee table.

Romeo left with Keeley over his back, trudging his way to the outhouse. He dropped her to the concrete, then turned to head back to the house.

Chad dropped to his knees to sweep the shards of porcelain, sugar, and brownie pieces into a dustpan. The table was up again, and Chad had managed to find one of the coasters that had gone flying.

Romeo snatched Keeley’s keys from the edge of the sofa cushion and strode back outside to hide the car. He parked it in the outhouse, threw the cover over it, then pinned it to the floor with bricks by the wheels.

When he returned to the house, Chad was upstairs cleaning himself up in the bathroom.

“Okay?” Romeo asked from the doorway.

Chad linked eyes with him in the mirror. “I’m okay. You?”

Romeo nodded.

“Where are you going to be?” Chad asked.

Romeo glanced over his shoulder towards the stairs. “On the landing.”

“I’ll keep the door open so you can listen.” Chad stepped across the bedroom to his drawers. He tugged on a fresh t-shirt. “I couldn’t do much about the coffee dripping down the wall. Really, Romeo?”

Romeo smirked. “The table was in the way.”

“You didn’t have to flip it.”

“I did.” He stopped Chad before he left the bedroom. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

Chad avoided his gaze.

“Chad...”

“Later,” Chad whispered. “We’ll talk later.”

He leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to Romeo’s lips, then he went downstairs just as Josh’s car tore up the dirt track.

****

Chad had managed to keep Josh out of the living room. The smell of coffee flowed up the stairs, and Romeo knew they were at the kitchen table, both cradling a cup.

Mercutio appeared at the top of the stairs, wagging his tail excitedly as he looked at Romeo. Romeo encouraged him closer, patting him on the head.

Chad had explained away his croaky voice by claiming he was coming down with a cold. Josh was too apologetic to question it.

From what Romeo had heard from the top of the stairs, Josh, with Dave’s help, had discovered two more suicides with private autopsies that had revealed the substances Zolpidem and LSD in the hair of the deceased.

One in Preston.

One in Leicester

They were both recorded as unexplained traces.

Both victims suffered from depression, and they were both on medication.

Their suicides seemed almost expected.

No one looked closely enough to see who linked them.

The person they’d trusted to help them at their most vulnerable.

Chad had been right. Keeley was clever.

“How...” Josh hesitated. “How did she get that stuff into you?”

Romeo couldn’t see them in the kitchen, but he was sure Josh was taking notes. His voice, his questions, they weren’t from a concerned friend in that moment, they were from a detective taking a statement.

“The coffee,” Chad answered. “It could only be the coffee. For months I didn’t have any, I always turned her down, and then...”

“Then what?”

“Thomas burst into our session. He was distressed, but I just saw him as a threat. A threat to myself. A threat to Keeley. I froze up. I couldn’t move. Keeley had to talk me through it afterwards, calm me down. That’s when she made me a coffee. That’s when I drank it. I’m so fucking stupid.”

“You’re not,” Romeo mumbled beneath his breath.

“You’re not.” Josh said and he sounded pissed. “You’re not stupid, Chad. You should be able to have a cup of coffee without suspecting it’s been tampered with. She was supposed to help you. She came well recommended,” he groaned. “Sorry, I’m getting off track. Tell me what happened the first time you drank the coffee.”

“I ... we talked.”

“Do you remember what you talked about?”

“Not really. She left the room to check on Thomas, and I was feeling tired. I laid down. I fell asleep.”

“And when she came back.”

Chad blew out a breath. “I don’t know. She was there.”

“Where?”

“In front of me, and she walked around her desk and sat down. She smiled, and I smiled back. It’s hazy as hell. I... I can’t remember, Josh. But I didn’t feel worried, or like I was in danger.”

“It’s okay,” Josh said. “Did you have a coffee every session after that one?”

“I think so. It was just part of it. Small talk, coffee, then ... then...” Chad exhaled a long breath.

“It’s okay,” Josh said again.

Chair legs scraped.

Romeo wished he could see what was going on below him.

“She made me one at our session before my holiday. I didn’t drink it, though. I went downhill so fast.”

“What do you mean?”

“I felt awful, and in my head, it was justified. I deserved to feel awful for everything that happened, but it... I felt unwell. Physically and mentally. There were times on that holiday where I thought I was losing my mind. I’d wake up in the middle of an activity, just drop back into my own body with no idea how I got there. I was tired, more tired than I’ve felt in my life, and it was difficult to eat.”

“In what way?”

“I wanted to be sick all the time, but there was barely enough in me to keep me upright, let alone vomit into the toilet bowl. There were moments I didn’t know where I was, didn’t know what day it was, couldn’t even recall my own name. But they would pass, and I just thought I was coming down with the flu.”

“I looked up serious side effects of Zolpidem,” Josh said. “Memory loss seems to be a big one.”

“I had it before I went away, jumps of time I couldn’t account for, but it was so much worse when I was at the cottage with Frank. Zolpidem and LSD ... why those?”

“They must’ve been the substances she found success with. Something to put you to sleep, and something to stimulate your brain while you were unconscious so she could speak to you. She probably built up the amount so the withdrawal of both would hit you hard.”

“She wanted me to jump. I can remember that now ... her voice, telling me it would be better if I jumped. All I needed to do was jump and all the pain and confusion would end, and I did.”

“You’re still here,” Josh said firmly. “She didn’t get you.”

They carried on talking, but the topic changed from Keeley to Mercutio, then Angel. Josh’s friendly demeanor came back, and on more than one occasion he managed to make Chad laugh.

Mercutio waddled back downstairs as Josh was pulling on his coat.

“You look after him for me,” Chad said.

“I am,” Josh replied, sounding proud.

“I was actually talking to Merc.”

“Oh. He does the opposite,” Josh said.

“How?”

“He chews up my shoelaces so I can’t tighten them, causing me to trip over my own feet and fall down the stairs.”

Chad laughed. “That hasn’t happened.”

“That. One hundred percent. Has happened.”

Chad cooed at Mercutio, telling him he would see him soon.

“I’m going to get her, Chad,” Josh said suddenly. “It was so hard not to drive straight to her place and arrest her.”

“You can’t. Not yet—”

“I know, I know. We have to do it by the book. Gather evidence, get a warrant for her place, arrest her, charge her, I know,” Josh sighed. “This isn’t going to be an easy conviction, but I swear to you, I’ll make her pay for what she did to you, for what she did to all her victims.”

“Come here,” Chad said.

Romeo listened intently.

Both Chad and Josh were quiet downstairs, but Josh’s jacket rustled, and there was a smack of a hand patting on a back.

“I’m sorry,” Josh whispered.

“I told you before, you’ve got nothing to be sorry for.”

“I wish you were coming back to work.”

Chad didn’t reply.

“Anyway,” Josh said. “I better go. You need me. You call me.”

“I will.”

Josh whistled, and Mercutio followed him from the house, barking happily.

Chad closed the door. He rested his forehead against it as Romeo came downstairs.

“You’re not stupid,” Romeo murmured.

“Maybe...” Chad pushed off from the door. “We’ve got a grave to dig.”

“We have.”

****

They dug it together in silence.

Romeo kept glancing Chad’s way, wondering what was on his mind. Whenever he asked, Chad shook his head, breathless with effort.

Two magpies watched them.

The songbirds were afraid, and had hidden, but the magpies remained.

They didn’t fear Chad and Romeo.

Romeo had found the raven with gruesome wounds beneath the birdfeeders.

It was dead, and although he hadn’t witnessed the final showdown, he knew the magpie pair had killed it.

Before Romeo went to get Keeley’s body from the outhouse, he scooped the raven up with the shovel and dumped it into the grave first.  

Chad didn’t comment. He added his own object to the hole.

The rock with the word monster.

Romeo dug his shovel into the ground until it stayed upright, then trudged his way through the muddy field to the outhouse.  

Keeley.

Number ten.

Romeo crouched, stroking a strand of Keeley’s hair behind her ear.

He stared at Keeley’s blotchy face for a long time. Her eyes were partly open, flashing pink whites, and her throat, they’d squeezed her so hard it had misshapen her fragile neck.

It looked broken, crushed, and swollen all in one.

It wasn’t Romeo’s first kill, but it was Chad’s.

There was a sick pride in that.

He smiled down at her, not wanting to forget the bruises made by his and Chad’s hands.

He didn’t need to forget.

Romeo tugged his phone from his jeans and took a picture.

The magpies clucked and called from outside as Romeo slipped his phone back into his pocket.

He hauled Keeley’s stiffening body onto his shoulder, then strode outside with her on his back. Chad was still panting from the dig, crouched in the dirt.

Romeo dropped Keeley into the grave.

She landed with a thud.

Chad didn’t speak.

Romeo began shoveling.

“Rest,” he ordered.

Chad didn’t argue.

His eyes were on Keeley as Romeo began to fill the hole.

“I’m sorry,” Chad whispered.

Romeo paused, shovel in hand.

But Chad wasn’t speaking to Keeley, he was looking at Romeo with sad brown eyes.

“I should’ve been stronger. I should have been able to stop myself from jumping. I feel... I feel...”

“You are not weak,” Romeo said, letting the dirt slip from his shovel onto Keeley’s face. “You’re stronger than you think you are. You’re still here, and she isn’t.”

“I called out for you,” Chad lowered his gaze. “When I surfaced, I screamed your name. I didn’t know where I was, or what was happening. I just... I wanted you. Only you.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

Chad laughed without humor. “Do you really think you owe me an apology?”

“You don’t owe me one either.” Romeo scooped up another shovelful of dirt. “She drugged you. She filled your head with lies. She made you go into withdrawal. She made you sick, and she made you jump.” He spat into the grave. “She is responsible for you almost dying and now she is dead.”

“I wonder how many she’s killed.”

“This will be a case of how many are proved to be her victims,” Romeo dropped the dirt. “You said so yourself—most suicides are expected, most only get a standard autopsy. Keeley was clever.”

“She was.”

“She’s still going to get eaten by maggots and turned into our poppy feed, though.”

Chad snorted, tossing a rock into the grave. “She is.”

“You died. You stopped breathing. Your heart stopped. But you came back. You came back to me even when I told you I no longer wanted you. You’re here, now, and she is dead. She’s the weak one, Chad, not you.”

“One day, I might believe that.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

Romeo sat on the landing, listening as Chad welcomed Ally and Josh into their home.  Four days had passed since Keeley’s death and Chad’s phone constantly buzzed with Josh keeping him in the loop for the initial stages of the investigation. He had called that morning, regretfully informing Chad they hadn’t yet apprehended her.

The police were searching for her car and trying to trace her mobile phone.

It wasn’t a flash model that could easily be picked up by towers.

It was old, untraceable, the kind criminals used Josh had said.

Romeo had taken a sledgehammer to it before burying it in the field.

Then Josh had asked if he could come over with Ally.

Chad had been suspicious but hadn’t questioned him over the phone.

Romeo and Chad had speculated while they waited, but all they could come up with was more victims.

“There’s something else,” Josh said, after they’d all greeted each other in the hallway. “Shall ... shall we go in here,”

“I don’t know,” Chad chuckled. “Shall we?”

Ally sighed. “I think we should.”

They moved into the living room. Romeo stared down at the floorboards, wishing he could see through them. Josh hadn’t responded to Chad’s jibe and they both seemed eager to get Chad into the living room.

Somebody closed the door, preventing Romeo from listening any further. He huffed, leaning back against the wall. Voices murmured through the floor, but he couldn’t pick anything out, could only replay Josh’s resigned tone when he told Chad there was something else...

Mercutio whined at the bottom of the stairs having been locked out of the room. Romeo clacked his tongue softly to the roof of his mouth, and Mercutio thundered upstairs to greet him.

It took another hour for Ally and Josh to leave.

They said their goodbye at the bottom of the stairs, voices low and resigned.

Romeo itched to know why.

“Christmas Day,” Ally announced, putting cheer into her voice. “I expect you round at 1:00 for dinner.”

“I can’t wait...” Chad replied.

Josh burst out laughing. “It can’t be worse than that salmon she tried to cook.”

“She,” Ally said, “is standing right here.”

“Your salmon was lovely.” Chad said, and at the top of the stairs without being able to see his face, Romeo knew it was a lie.

“Where are you this Christmas?” Ally asked.

“At my parents,” Josh answered. “I’m bringing Angel in the afternoon.”

“It’s getting serious then. When should I buy a hat?”

“A hat?”

“For the wedding?”

“As long as that’s not all you’re going to wear— Ouch woman!”

Ally huffed. “You deserved that slap to your arm. Count yourself lucky you got off so lightly.”

“I could arrest you for assault.”

“You dare ... and it’ll be for attempted murder,” Ally replied with thunder in her voice.

“Only attempted,” Chad interjected.

They laughed, but soon after, fell into silence.

“There’s something I’ve got to tell you,” Chad said. “I was going to wait until after Christmas but...”

“What is it?” Josh asked.

“I’m leaving Bardhum.” He exhaled a hard breath. “I’m going traveling.”

Chad had suggested a fresh start somewhere new, and Romeo had agreed before revealing the ‘runaway kit’ he’d been putting together for almost a year.

Chad had recovered from his shellshock and kissed Romeo on the lips.

“Traveling,” Josh echoed back.

“Yeah. For as long as I can remember I’ve been the detective, but I’m not him anymore. There’s a whole world out there, one that I’ve never even thought about exploring, but now...”

“Now?” Ally pressed.

“I have time, the money, and the thought of it is exciting. It’ll be the start of a new me. One where I can prioritize me and what I want.”

“I think it’s a great idea,” Ally said. “Isn’t it, Josh...”

Romeo frowned when Josh didn’t immediately agree.

“When are you going?” Josh murmured.

“New Year’s Eve. I want to wake up somewhere different on New Year’s Day.”

“Oh, boy,” Josh muttered.

“Hey,” Chad whispered. “What is it?”

“You’re not giving me much of a window to find her.”

Chad exhaled. “Josh...”

“I swore to you I’d get her, but she’s gone, and a week isn’t long enough, not when this has gotten even more complicated.”

Romeo’s frown deepened.

“Stop,” Chad said firmly. “You don’t need to find Keeley for me—”

“Of course I do. I want to give you closure.”

“I’ve got it.”

“How can you possibly—”

“I know the truth. I know what she was doing, not just to me, but others. For months I’ve been tortured by dreams I couldn’t remember. I was losing time, and getting confused, and the week before I jumped, I felt like I was losing my damn mind. I felt like I was going crazy. But now I know I wasn’t. Now I know why. My mind is clearer than it has been in years.”

“But I have to find her. What if she does this to someone else.”

Keeley couldn’t. She could never fill another person’s head with her poison again, but Chad couldn’t tell Josh that.

“I knew there was something off about her.” Ally muttered. “I told you I was one of her clients once.”

“Actually, she told me.”

“Lucky escape.” Ally sighed. “If only I could’ve saved you from her too.”

“You said I was going to die at the hands of a serial killer.”

“That I did, and sometimes it’s exhausting always being right.”

“With age comes wisdom,” Josh said. “And considering your age, you’re practically Master Yoda of the policing world or something.”

“I’d go with the or something,” Chad mused.

“You two are horrible,” Ally announced. “Christmas dinner at 1:00,” she reminded, “and don’t be late.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Boxing Day pizza?” Josh asked.

“Sounds great.” Chad replied.

“Merc!” Josh called.

Romeo stopped patting Mercutio on the head, and he shot down the stairs.

“What the hell were you even doing up there, bud?” Josh asked him.

Chad smirked. “Probably rolling around on my bed, tearing open the pillows.”

Josh groaned. “Tell me about it, and you didn’t mention he snored ... or farted in his sleep.”

“I couldn’t remember and then when I did ... you’d already found out for yourself.”

“He’s still loveable despite a bit of bad wind.”

“You’re made for each other.”

“Boxing Day,” Josh said. “I’ll come here. I reckon after Ally’s cooking you’ll need a toilet within ten steps at all times or you’ll have an accident.”

“I heard that!” Ally bellowed from outside.

“Go,” Chad said with a chuckle.

He closed the door with a fond sigh.

Romeo came downstairs once the cars were driving away.

“Christmas Day?” Romeo asked.

“I said I’d go round for lunch ... it was that or Ally was going to come here.”

“I’ll prepare you some edible food to take with you.”

Chad scrunched his face. “Probably not a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“I’m a terrible cook. If I show up with decent food, she’ll get suspicious.”

“Point taken. I’ll let you take your specialty of beans on toast.”

Chad laughed softly. He sighed, then itched the back of his head.

“How ... how much of that did you hear?”

“Nothing at all after the door was closed. What did Josh mean things have gotten more complicated?”

Chad gestured to the living room.

Romeo ducked inside first, glancing at Chad over his shoulder. He sat down on the sofa, and Chad sat beside him. Chad’s laptop was open on the coffee table.

“Did they notice the coffee stain on the wall?”

“Ally did. I told her I slipped and threw my coffee.”

Romeo snorted. “And she bought that?”

“She did. Apparently, it’s a very ‘Chad like thing to do’.” He shook his head. “Whatever that means.”

“And did they notice the bruises on your throat?”

“No,” Chad tugged the roll neck of his sweater. “Thanks to this new look. Ally said it suited me. Josh thinks I’m having a mid-life crisis.”

Romeo eased down the top of Chad’s sweater. The purple bruises were hard to stomach, but the red hickey he’d sucked into Chad’s skin made him shift and stroke a finger over the soft skin. Chad captured the finger in his hand and pulled it away.

“As you know, Josh has been investigating Keeley’s involvement in several suicides all over the UK. He had enough evidence to issue an arrest warrant, but so far, she has somehow evaded capture.”

Romeo snorted. “I reckon the worms have started on her now...”

Chad closed his eyes. “What a lovely image,” he shook his head. “Josh got permission to search her house where he found a sizable amount of powdered drugs in her garage. They were sent for testing, and guess what...”

“Zolpidem and LSD?”

“Yep.” Chad bit his lip.

“That was to be expected right?”

Chad nodded. “Josh also found a few laptops and on them...” his shoulder slumped. “She’d been recording the sessions. Recording her intended victims while they were, you know ... passed out on her couch—”

Romeo stiffened. “She recorded you.”

Chad sunk even lower. “Yeah. She recorded me, Romeo. She recorded me out of it. She recorded what she was saying to me and my reaction.”

Romeo pointed to the laptop. “You have the footage?”

“Josh sent me a file, only the one. Him and Ally were worried I might find them triggering, but to be honest, it felt like I was watching someone else. The man in the footage didn’t feel like me. I guess that’s because I can’t remember any of it.”

“I want to see—”

“What good will that do?”

Romeo closed his eyes in a long blink. “If you don’t want me to watch it, I won’t.”

Chad exhaled through his nose. “I don’t want to keep anything from you, but it’s only going to make you want to kill her all over again.”

“I know.”

Chad opened a file up on the laptop. He double clicked on the video but paused it before it started playing.

“She must’ve had a camera on the bookcase,” Chad murmured. “I knew she had speakers, she’d play these tracks, thunder, crashing water, it was part of it. I remember the tracks more than what she was saying to me,” he shuddered, gripping the back of his neck. “I still hear them sometimes. Waves hitting rock. The rush of water. I don’t know whether its from her office or from when I was standing on that bridge.”

Romeo pressed his shoulder to Chad’s. He took Chad’s hand in his, linking their fingers.

“I’m fine,” Chad said.

“You’re not.”

Chad rolled his eyes. “I’m going to be fine. Ready?”

“Ready.”

Chad took a deep breath, then pressed play.

Romeo watched. As he did, he squeezed Chad’s hand tighter and tighter until Chad grunted, then flashed him an apologetic look and let go.

The footage started with a close up of Keeley’s face as she turned the camera on. Chad could be seen over her shoulder, slumped over on the couch. Romeo’s heart sped up. He knew it was coming, but still, seeing Chad like that, vulnerable, at Keeley’s mercy, it made his blood itch.

“Okay?” Chad whispered close to his ear.

“No,” Romeo answered honestly.

“Want me to stop it?”

Romeo shook his head.

Keeley strode around her desk and locked the door. The smile she shot at the camera was the same one she’d shot at the back of Chad’s head when he’d been unaware.

Chad was a conquest to her.

Chad was right. Romeo did want to kill her all over again.

His nostrils flared when Keeley touched Chad, rolling him onto his back. She rested her hand to Chad’s chest, over his heart. Romeo wanted to reach into the footage and snap her fragile wrist.

“That’s better,” she mumbled, before walking across the office.

She snatched something off her desk.

Romeo realized it was a remote control when the soundtrack of crashing waves got louder. Chad shifted beside him, uncomfortable with the sound and whatever it conjured up in his head. Romeo wanted to retake his hand, but feared he’d break all Chad’s fingers in his hard grip.

Keeley pressed down hard on the bridge of Chad’s nose until a low moan escaped him, then she crouched, taking one of Chad’s hands in both of hers.

Then she started speaking.

She told Chad how unhappy he was, how desperate, and lonely.

She told him nobody cared about him, they never had, and they were all out to get him.

Chad’s face twitched as she spoke, a minor ripple across his brow became harsher, and his breathing stuttered in his distress.

Romeo ground his teeth together.

Keeley filled Chad’s head with horrible thoughts about himself.

She spoke about Chad’s mother, Ally, Josh, and Frank too.

She said they hated him.

Romeo tried to keep his breathing under control, but he heaved. His top lip twitched with rage. Chad squeezed his thigh, and he turned to him, searching his face.

The Chad beside him wasn’t in distress. His lips were pressed in a grim line, and his gaze was soft against the harshness of Romeo’s.

“I’m okay,” Chad mouthed.

“The only person you can trust,” Keeley began—Romeo looked back at the footage, seething when he saw how close Keeley leaned to Chad, “is me. My sessions always help you, and you leave feeling unburdened, lighter, but the more time you spend with untrustworthy people, the worse you will feel. It’ll eat away at you until all you can think about is ending it, all you can think about is jumping. You’ll find happiness if you jump, Chad ... when the time is right, you’ll know what to do to end the suffering.”

Keeley let go of Chad’s hand and got to her feet.

She flashed another cruel smile at the camera, cocking her head. “I’ve finally got him.”

Then she reached up and switched off the camera.

“Who was she talking to?” Romeo asked, “Herself or....”

“Someone else.”

Romeo widened his eyes. “Who?”

“Josh hasn’t found that out yet. When he got hold of her laptops and her email addresses, he found out she’d been sending the videos of her ... victims to another address. A Mr. X.”

“Is that a police term?”

Chad snorted. “No. He calls himself Mr. X, and he calls Keeley Mrs. Y. According to Josh, he encourages her. He was ... pleased she’d started on me,” he shook his head. “He also said she’d get bonus points if she managed to get Alexandra to jump with her son.”

“Bonus points?”

Chad hummed. “He sends her videos too.”

“Of what?”

“Josh didn’t want to go into details. Didn’t think it was right to the victims. But he said it was evil, prolonged...”

“Mr. X is a killer too?”

Chad nodded. “And I’ve never seen Josh that pale before when talking about a killer. He thinks Keeley must’ve gotten a tip off that the police were looking into her, and she ran to him. Josh thinks they’re partners in this, encouraging each other’s sick way of committing murder.”

“Mr. X,” Romeo murmured.

Chad closed the laptop. “He and Keeley are Josh’s number one priority.”

Romeo snapped his gaze to Chad. “The missing persons case?”

“It hit a dead end. Josh passed it on to someone else. I’ve never seen him this fired up over a case before.”

“It’s because it involves you. It’s personal. All the best to him, but if we happen to find Mr. X first...”

Chad smiled. “He goes bottom of the list.”

Romeo pouted. “Why?”

“Let’s give Josh a head start. This case could be the making of him.”

“Sportsmanship,” Romeo grinned. “I approve ... for now at least.”

He pushed Chad until he fell to his side on the sofa. Chad pulled his legs up, and rolled onto his back, staring up at Romeo with big eyes.

Romeo took one of Chad’s hands in both of his like Keeley had.

“I could dig her up, strangle her again, maybe even decapitated her just to reassure myself she’s dead.”

“You could do that,” Chad said softly, “Or...”

He grabbed Romeo’s t-shirt and hauled him down. “You can let me reassure you that I’m still alive. She didn’t win,” Chad’s smile twitched. “He didn’t win either.”

Romeo knew he was talking about Vincent Whitehall.

Chad yanked Romeo’s t-shirt again, pulling his focus back.  

“My time hasn’t been poisoned. I enjoy every second I’m with you, and when I look to the future, I see us, happy, fulfilled. Complete.”

“I see that too,” Romeo murmured back. “It’s us against the world.”

“The world’s in trouble then,” Chad said, delivering a coy smile. “Because we’ve already won.”

Romeo leaned over and kissed Chad hard on the lips.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chad

Chad couldn’t remember the bridge.

He couldn’t remember the phone call from Josh inviting him over.

His memory of his and Romeo’s time at the cottage was sparse—snapshots of moments, both good when he was with Romeo or Merc, and bad when he found himself alone, heart pounding, not knowing how or why he was pacing the cottage in the middle of the night but with a gut feeling he was supposed to be doing something.

If he did that something, things would be better.

Jumping.

A deliberate act, unlike falling.

Keeley had made him jump.

And if it had been any other location, a bridge over a road like Alexandra or the top of a parking ramp like Thomas, Chad would be dead.

That thought had woken Romeo a few times in the night, and he’d shaken Chad awake, needing to know he was all right. Chad didn’t blame him, he still had to pinch himself sometimes when he dreamed of drowning.

The cold hit of water woke him up with one name on his lips.

Romeo.

He’d managed to surface.

The jogger on the bridge had seen him.

He’d been swept under again, weighted down by his soaked clothes.

The water burned like fire. It violently assaulted his mouth and nose. Once he breathed it in, he couldn’t stop, choking and convulsing. It hurt. Worse than anything he’d ever experienced, and he didn’t make that claim lightly after being tortured by a mad man with a scalpel.

Keeley had killed him.

But he’d come back.

And the first month had been disorientating, learning about himself and all he’d been through while knowing something was missing.

Ally and Josh were careful whenever the topic of Romeo came up.

He didn’t blame them.

The first time he’d heard the name since waking up, he’d gasped and started shaking.

Romeo.

He’d screamed it.

It had torn at his vocal cords.

He clutched his throat, remembering the pain of that name.

It had taken everything to shout it rather than to succumb to the water.

Josh panicked. Ally cursed. 

They both had to calm him down, encouraging him to take deep breaths.

For all they revealed about Romeo Knight, it didn’t match the memories Chad had of him. There were kisses, and cuddles, laughs, puzzle games, and awful jokes, and then that blood curdling cry of the name.

Chad had screamed for him.

And that changed his perception of Romeo, and of himself too.

He hadn’t screamed for anyone like that in his life, but he’d screamed for Romeo.

Romeo Knight.

The Countdown Killer.

Except, that wasn’t all he was, not to Chad.

He was everything Chad had almost lost, and although Romeo had reassured him in the last few days what happened wasn’t his fault, he still felt guilty.

He felt guilty for jumping but not for squeezing the life out of Keeley.

Chad hadn’t trusted her, but it only took a moment of weakness from him for her to sink her claws in. One weak moment accepting a drink while she eased his panic.

It stung knowing he’d given her that opening.

But never again.

Never again would someone get that close.

Chad sat on the bottom step of the stairs, clutching his keys in his hand.

His car outside was packed with all they needed to start the new chapter in their lives.

He no longer had the responsibility of his job to pin him down, no longer had the weight of expectation to hold him back or the desire to prove himself worthy of life.

He’d never achieved it.

It took him decades to finally know who he was trying to prove that worth to.

He’d thought it was to his mother, to his unknown father, to his colleagues, and friends, the public, to killers, past and present, but it had always been to himself, and that was an unachievable goal.

As Romeo had said, he’d set himself up to fail.

But one man knew his worth, and he’d never had to prove it to him.

Romeo loved him for being him with all his broken parts and conflicted morals.

He was everything to Romeo, and Romeo was now everything to him.

Romeo had driven off in Keeley’s car an hour before with strict instructions to keep to the country roads.

He’d texted Chad once he’d parked it in thick undergrowth.

See you soon.

Chad knew where he’d be waiting.

Keeley’s car would be found ... eventually.

When Chad heard Josh pulling up outside, he eased out a breath, getting to his feet.

He didn’t open the door, and welcome Josh and Ally inside, he stepped out and locked up behind himself for the final time.

Josh beamed at him as he hurried round to let Merc out from the back.

Merc yipped and yapped as he bounded into Chad’s legs.

“All set?” Josh asked.

His eyes were bright, and his smile encouraged a wavering one from Chad. For a moment, Chad couldn’t speak. He nodded instead.

Ally leaned against the car, gaze to the ground.

She knew.

Josh had taken Chad at his word, believing he’d be back in a few months, a year at most, but Ally knew he didn’t plan on returning.

The house would remain his, but he and Romeo had no plan to live in it again.

It was the end of this part of his life and the start of a new one.

She didn’t protest, or question his decision, but had accepted it without fuss.

Chad went to her first.

She hugged Chad tight and whispered into his ear. “Be happy.”

“I am,” he told her, then he leaned back and let her see his smile.

It was true, he was, and maybe he shouldn’t have been, maybe judgmental people would’ve said he had no right to be, or it was inappropriate, but he’d given power to those people for too long.

Ally took his face in both hands, searching his eyes. Whatever she found in them made her smile back. A tear rushed down her cheek, dragging her purple eyeliner with it.

Chad brushed it away with his thumb. “You be happy too.”

She nodded. “I will.”

“Thank you,” Chad said, his throat tightened fast. “For all you’ve done for me. Ally, you’ve—”

“Oh, stop it,” she said, pushing his shoulder. “Keep on like that and I’ll be blubbering all night long.”

“Yeah,” Josh said. “Please don’t. You’re driving off into the sunset leaving me to pick up the pieces, and I’m not good with hysterical women.”

“Hysterical?” Ally clipped Josh’s ear. “I’ll show you hysterical.”

“Old dog,” Chad muttered fondly. “Playful pup.”

Josh rubbed his red ear. “One of these days, I am going to cuff you.”

“As long as it’s not to a bed.” Ally snapped.

Chad smothered his laugh beneath his hand as he crouched in front of Merc.

“Hey,” Chad whispered. Merc stopped panting and gave Chad his full attention. The sight of Merc’s big grey eyes put a lump in his throat. The decision to leave Merc behind hadn’t been an easy one, but he needed someone reliable to look after him.

Chad stroked and scratched Merc’s neck. “You’re a good boy, you know that?”

Merc’s pupils dilated as his tail picked up pace. By the pleased look on his face, he knew he was a good boy but appreciated Chad telling him.

Chad snorted, and hugged Merc close to press a kiss to his broad head. When he pulled back, Merc began licking his face, and Chad took his kisses with a sad smile.

“That’s so unhygienic.” Ally mumbled.

“Have you tried your cooking?” Josh asked her.

Chad blocked them out and spoke to Merc.  “I’m leaving you with a very important job.”

Merc stopped licking him. His ears pricked as he listened.

“You’ve got to take care of Josh. You’ve got to jump on him, and slobber on him,” he glanced at Josh. “You’ve got to eat his shoelaces, and fart all over his bed.”

“Very funny,” Josh said, deadpan.

“But most of all, you’ve got to love him. He’s a very special guy, your dad.”

Josh snorted. “A bit up yourself, aren’t you?”

“I was talking about you,” Chad smirked, speaking over his shoulder to Josh. “You’re Merc’s dad. You’ve been there for him when I couldn’t. He loves you, and I know you love him too. I know he’s in safe hands with you, and you’re ... you’re in his safe paws.”

Chad turned back to Merc. “He’s going to be the dad to you that I wanted to be. The one you deserve.”

“But ... you are coming back, right?” Josh asked.

Chad winced at the wavering in Josh’s voice. He stood up, smiling.

“Of course, but when I do, he’s still yours, Josh, and you’re still his.”

“I swear I’ll take such good care of him.”

Chad squeezed Josh’s shoulder. “You already do.”

He pulled Josh into a hug, wrapping him up tight.

Josh’s arms came around him, holding on. “Sappy bastard.”

Chad smiled and shut his eyes.

“I won’t let you down.”

“Josh—”

“I won’t,” he said firmly.

Chad sunk his teeth into his lip.

Shadows passed overhead. Josh and Ally both looked up at the magpies.

Chad didn’t.

He knew there would be seven of them, seven for a secret never to be told.

Josh would never let him down, he couldn’t, but one day Chad would let Josh down. One day he’d learn the truth, because secrets, even ones untold, had a way of coming out.

Josh’s arms were iron around Chad, shaking him slightly. “I’m going to find her.”

“I know you will.”

One day.

Josh released him and took a step back. He still had hero worship on his face when he looked at Chad. Chad averted his gaze, blinking back the burning in his eyes.

One day, Josh wouldn’t look at him like that again.

One day, he’d know the truth, and he’d come after Chad.

Josh would hunt them down.

The next time they saw each other, there would be the same look in Chad’s eyes, but a different one in Josh’s and that realization cut deep.

Josh noticed Chad avoiding his gaze, “Hey, guys can cry too, you know,” he wiped his eyes. “See? Luckily for all of us, I’m an attractive crier, not a wailer, not unless I really get going.”

“Let’s avoid that at all costs,” Ally said, snuffling.

Chad put one hand on Josh’s shoulder, and the other one on Ally’s. “You know I love you both.”

“The hell, Chad,” Josh whined. “I’m trying to hold back the waterworks.”

Chad snorted. “I’m sorry, I just wanted to let you know.”

“How about don’t,” Josh said. “Ally’s tears have run all the way to her mouth. The amount of eyeliner she’s consumed is probably toxic.”

“I’m fine,” Ally croaked. “Just about keeping it together.”

Chad clutched onto them. “Whatever happens in life, never doubt how much you two mean to me.”

“Shut up,” Josh said, yanking Chad into another hug. He wrapped his arm around Ally too, bringing her into the embrace.

They stood like that for a minute, then broke away from the hug at the same moment.

Josh pointed behind Chad. “What’s going to happen to your haunted house while you’re gone?”

Chad looked back at it, but his gaze skimmed across to the edge of the field. “The ghosts can roam free for a while.”

“That’s not creepy at all.”

Chad turned around in time to see Josh grimace.

“But don’t worry, they won’t go far. They can’t. Tormented souls and all that.”

Josh shuddered. “You’re not making it sound any better.”

Ally strode over to Chad’s car and opened the driver’s door.

“I made a ratatouille for you to take with you.”

Chad hesitated, rocking back on his heels. “Urm. Thanks.”

“Josh told me to leave it at home.”

Josh nudged Chad with his elbow. “I had your back.”

“Thank you for making it,” Chad said to Ally, then he spoke over his shoulder, “And thanks for convincing Ally to leave it behind.”

“You’re welcome,” they both answered at the same time.

Chad climbed into his car and switched on the ignition. He rolled the window down, then Ally shut the door.

“Take care of yourself and take care of each other.”

“We will,” Josh said, wrapping an arm around Ally’s shoulder. Rather than bat him away, Ally leaned towards Josh.

“And you take care of yourself,” she said.

“I will.” Chad smiled at them.

“Now go,” Ally said. “Before I change my mind.”

Chad raised his eyebrows. “Yes ... Sergeant. Or should I say sergeants?”

He winked, and Josh beamed. Ally reached up to pinch Josh’s blushing cheek.

Detective Sergeant Josh Hancock. It had a good ring to it.

Chad started the car, waved at them out of the window, then took his time on the dirt track, rolling away from the house. He took so long that Josh, Ally, and Merc had jumped in their car and followed behind all the way to the junction at the end.

Chad turned left, away from Bardhum, and Josh, after smashing his fist on the horn several times, turned right.

They were a fading dot in the car mirror, then they were gone.

Chad eased out a breath and kept the window open so the wind could dry his tears.

When he pulled up into the layby, Romeo was waiting. Ruggedly handsome, with windswept hair, dark stubble, and piercing green eyes. He had his hands shoved in his jacket, and his walking boots were caked in mud. He looked perfect.

Chad spoke to him out of the window. “Car troubles?”

Romeo’s eyes glinted. His smile slowly spread, lifting his cheeks. “As it happens, yes. I seemed to have driven into thick foliage, and I’ve been waiting for a smoking hot guy to take me home.”

“I see,” Chad bit his lip as he smiled back. “In the absence of him, can I be of some assistance?”

Romeo rolled his eyes and made his way round the front of the car to the passenger seat. When he got in, he glanced into the back, tutting at the pile of bags. “Going somewhere?”

Chad pulled back onto the road. “Yes, I’m heading south to take the tunnel to France.”

“And then where are you planning on going?”

“I hear Mantua is nice.”

Romeo smirked. “Really ... the man I’m named after never made it that far...”

“Well, that was his story and this is ours,” Chad replied, resting his hand on Romeo’s thigh. “Those star-crossed lovers might not have made it, but we will.”

“I’m loving your confidence, Mr. Knight,” he raised Chad’s hand to his lips.

Chad shook his head. “I can’t believe you put my name as Knight on that passport.”

“I did consider hyphenating our surnames, but not only does it sound like an awful brand name—”

“Knight-Fuller,” Chad grimaced.

“Precisely, but I thought it would be a little too obvious. There’s hiding in plain sight, and then there’s—”

“Being an idiot.”

Romeo pressed his smile to the back of Chad’s hand again.

“The first name, though,” Chad shot Romeo a frown. “What were you thinking?”

Romeo shrugged. “It’s a placeholder. You can change it once we’re abroad, but I kind of like it.”

“Romeo....” Chad narrowed his eyes. “And Julien. I mean, do I look like a Julien?”

“You look like the man I’m in love with, except you’re doing a lot more— Starts with a W. Seven letters. Ends with an ‘ing’.”

“I am not whining.”

Romeo tipped his head back, laughing.

“All I’m saying is if you get to pick my name, I should get to pick yours.”

“Okay, but if you do something as foolish enough as to suggest Dean, we will be taking a brief detour so I can finish the job.”

“I wasn’t going to suggest it.”

“Good.” Romeo’s eyes met Chad’s. “What then?”

“I haven’t decided yet.” He squeezed Romeo’s hand. “I’d like to keep the Knight, though,” he admitted. “If that’s okay with you?”

“It’s more than okay,” Romeo replied softly. “It’s yours.”

“It’s ours.” Chad shot back, before fixing his attention back to the road and the future they headed towards.

“That’s what they’ll call us,” Romeo’s voice was wistful. He eased out a slow breath. Chad glanced at him, then looked again, taking in Romeo’s wide eyes, and the intense gleam in them as they attached themselves solely to Chad. Like he was everything. Chad felt that look in his chest. He looked at Romeo in the same way, hoping he felt it too. His smile said he did. “Secrets don’t stay secret forever. When it all comes out one day. That’s how the world will know us.” Romeo whispered, then he smiled, and it wasn’t savage or mocking, it was proud. “The Knights.”

Epilogue

Six Months Later

“Stop it,” Chad hissed, slapping Romeo’s hand back by his side.

Romeo huffed. “It’s itchy.”

Chad pouted. “I’m sorry I couldn’t find super-soft balaclavas for your delicate face.”

“Chad...”

“Romeo.”

Even in the dark, Chad shuddered at his glare. There were only three holes in Romeo’s mask, two for his eyes, currently narrowed, and one for his mouth, pressed in an unhappy line.

Chad would never admit that he found his own balaclava itchy at hell too.

It was a necessary evil when keeping one’s identity secret.

They were dressed head to toe in black, all items of clothing indistinct. Romeo had taken off his gloves, complaining of sweaty palms and cramping fingers.

He promised he’d put them back on once they arrived at their destination.

Chad couldn’t help but remind him every few minutes not to forget.

It was important though.

Everything had to go as planned.

Romeo had wanted to drive, but Chad had shot that idea down.

There were too many cameras trained at the road and once investigators realized they had a murder case on their hands, they’d follow the camera trail, adding pressure to their escape.

Chad had seen it happen before.

Criminals panicked when under pressure. They ditched and stole cars on a daily basis, resulting in more CCTV and witnesses, and eventually a standoff once they’d exhausted themselves and law enforcement had caught up.

It didn’t take them long, unless you made it more difficult.

No road. No car. No sunlight.  

Instead, they walked along a beach in the dead of night with only the stars for company, and the gentle lap of the sea to break up their excited heartbeats.

Romeo lifted his hand to scratch his chin.

“Romeo...” Chad warned. “When you pull that thing off in a few minutes, I don’t want to be distracted by a red raw rash across your face.”

“What do you want to be distracted by?”

Chad smiled. “My husband looking hot as hell.”

Romeo laughed, knocking his elbow into Chad’s.

Michael Hastings lived along the coast in Abruzzo, Italy. It wasn’t as popular with tourists as other regions, but there was a community of Brits who retired there, enjoying the Mediterranean climate.

The sun, the sand, the peace.

It was beautiful.

Michael’s villa in particular was stunning.

It had sea views and backed onto a beach with golden sand.

There was no roar of traffic from a main road, or light pollution from a city.

It was remote.

He hadn’t lived there the whole time. He’d moved around Italy, from place to place before deciding on Abruzzo to spend his golden years.  

Those golden years were about to be abruptly cut short.

There were a few other properties, all the same box-like design with the shell-pink paint.

Michael didn’t spend much time with his neighbors, but he did have a carer that checked on him twice a day, once in the morning, and once in the evening.

It would be her that would find his body.

This was not a chance encounter. It was not opportunity.

It was premediated murder.

They’d watched from afar, learned their victim’s routine, knew where he’d be and when to strike, and right then, Michael was asleep in his bed, completely unaware of the danger creeping closer.

They knew he left the downstairs window open all night—it was a trustworthy place after all. The net curtain billowed from the window, almost encouraging them closer.

“Gloves,” Chad murmured.

“Like I was going to forget.”

Chad got to the window first. He hooked his gloved fingers around the edge then pulled it open as far as it would go.

Romeo helped him through, then waited at the back sliding doors for Chad to let him in.

Michael had a Ring doorbell, easily bypassed when they used the back door to enter the property. Several of the villas had them, but only one villa had a camera facing towards the sea. Luckily for them, it was on the far end of the row of properties.

They took the stairs, Romeo going first, and Chad following behind.

Michael had left his bedroom door open. A fan above him spun with a faint whistle.  They both looked down on him sleeping peacefully, oblivious to what was about to happen.

“Ready?” Chad asked.

“Ready.”

Chad flicked on the bedside light.

Michael startled, groaning as he woke. His eyes shot open when he caught sight of the two masked men standing by the bed, and he flailed, arms swiping through the air in an attempt to defend himself.

He said something in Italian, and Romeo snapped a reply before switching to English.

“Up,” Romeo growled, taking his arm. He yanked him out from beneath the sheets. Michael stumbled, going to his knees. Romeo took hold of his pajama top, pulling him to his feet.

“Take what you want,” Michael said.

“Don’t worry,” Romeo replied. “We will.”

He dragged Michael from the room. Chad watched him go, then moved around the bedroom, yanking open drawers, and upturning the contents. The only noteworthy item was a Rolex watch, which he snatched from the box.

When Chad came downstairs, Michael sat at the table, trembling as he shot pleading looks at Romeo. The more he tried to gain sympathy with Romeo, the angrier Romeo got until he viewed Michael through a squint, showing only a sliver of his green eyes.

“Please,” Michael said. “I don’t have much. There’s ... there’s a tin of money in the cupboard.”

He pointed with a shaking finger to the kitchen area. Chad strode over, and opened cupboard after cupboard despite Michael’s wavering voice telling him it was the one on the end.

Chad pocketed the money, then dropped the tin on the floor.

Romeo, ever the gentleman, pulled a chair out for Chad on the opposite side of the table to Michael. Chad bowed his head in thanks, then went to sit down.

Romeo stood by the back door, arms folded, head cocked.

Chad looked past Michael to the shelves on the wall. There were photographs of Michael’s grandchildren, his great grandchildren, but the biggest picture was of Lucinda, central on the middle shelf.

There was a picture of Lucinda, several in fact, but none of Harriet, his other dead daughter.

Chad pulled off his mask, giving the green light for Romeo to do the same.

Michael glanced at Romeo, but his look held no recognition. He took a longer look at Chad, then pressed back in his chair.

“DC Chad Fuller.”

Romeo tutted. Chad imagined he was pissed he hadn’t been recognized but the disgraced detective from Bardhum had. “I don’t go by that title ... or that name anymore.”

“W-what is this?” Michael uttered, glancing between them.

“On face value it will look like a burglary gone wrong. That’ll give us at least two days to get well clear.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Neither do I. That’s why you’re going to explain it to me.”

Michael shook his head. He shot a clueless look at Chad.

“Why did you murder your daughter Mr. Hastings?”

Michael’s lips popped open. His breath hitched. “I didn’t. I’d never hurt one of my daughters.”

“You didn’t tell the police Lucinda stayed at her friend Candice’s house on the night Harriet went missing.”

“She took my truck, I didn’t want—”

“You needed an alibi.”

Michael turned to Romeo. “Are you hearing this?”

Romeo stuck a savage finger out at him. “Don’t look at me. Look at him.”

There was a growl in Romeo’s voice that said bad things would happen if he kept looking at Romeo. Bad things were going to happen regardless, but Chad needed to say what he had to first. This wasn’t about getting a confession, not anymore. This was about laying down the reason Michael was about to die.

“Here’s what I think happened,” Chad said, bracing his gloved hands on the table. “I think Harriet got picked up from school by James Poole that afternoon. I think they drove to Melbourn Spring, and I think they got into an argument.”

“Lucinda went after him,” Michael said. “She thought it was James that killed her sister, not Vincent. She thought you were helping James cover it up. So she ... she killed him.”

Chad carried on as if Michael hadn’t spoken. “I imagine James, aware that there was a serial killer about, tried to convince Harriet to get back into the car, but she refused. He drove off, she started walking home. It was quite a long way from the spring to your farm. The last part of it is a single-track road, relatively straight, straight enough that Harriet would’ve seen if you were driving towards her—”

“I didn’t get in the truck—"

“I know you didn’t. Lucinda did, but what I’m saying is Harriet would’ve seen it in the distance coming. She would’ve assumed it was you, her dad that hated James Poole, with good reason I might add, her dad that would offer her no comfort after her and James’s falling out.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying she probably hid. There’s enough hedges and trees along that road to easily get behind. The truck goes past, maybe Harriet still thought it was you, or maybe she saw Lucinda going by, it doesn’t matter. It went by, and Harriet continued on her way home. That’s why Lucinda never saw her sister.”

“This is ludicrous,” Michael laughed without humor. “It’s fantasy. Vincent Whitehall kidnapped and murdered my daughter.”

“Vincent Whitehall was a convenient person to blame for an accident,” Chad lifted his eyebrow. “Unless it wasn’t an accident.”

“Are you seriously suggesting I—”

“You checked into a hotel rather than stay with your family on the farm. There was plenty of room. It might not have been the ideal time, but you would’ve gotten to see your grandsons,” Chad glanced at the pictures on the shelves. “Your great grandsons.”

“I didn’t want to inconvenience them—”

“When I first met you, and we discussed Harriet and her tattoo. Your words were, ‘there’s no way you’ve found her’. That was odd ... how could you be so sure, that was what we were trying to achieve after all, but you were adamant we hadn’t found her, and the thought that Vincent had seen this tattoo that even you didn’t know about, confused you. The rib as well, what I mistook for horror was actually confusion and mild panic. That’s why you had to leave.”

Michael pressed his lips in a thin line. All the color left them.

“Your wife wrote to Vincent over the years, trying to appeal to his human side by telling him stories about Harriet. She told him about the accident with the bike and her missing rib. She told him about the tattoo once she’d found out about it from Gavin, Harriet’s ex-boyfriend. That’s how he knew, not because he’d seen her, but because of information he’d picked up over the years. I think you were so certain we hadn’t found her because you know where she is. I think you were confused about Vincent’s revelations because you just couldn’t understand where he’d gotten that information from.”

“No,” Michael bowed his head. “That’s not true.”

“I think you were desperate to move away from Little Wren, abandoning your wife and your remaining daughter in the process, not because of grief, but because of guilt. I think that’s also the reason there are no photographs of Harriet in this villa. I’d even go as far as saying that the reason you didn’t stay on that farm with your family during the search for her remains is because you know where she is, you know she’s there. She’s still on that fucking farm.”

Michael dropped his head into his hands, sobbing. Out of the corner of Chad’s eye, he saw Romeo shifting, getting edgy, needing Chad to wrap things up.

“That got me thinking,” Chad whispered. “If I killed someone, where could I hide them on your farm with only a night to dispose of them. It’s a big area, but it would be searched, huge numbers of locals would come out to search the land, and dogs,” Chad nodded. “There would be dogs, not cadaver dogs at first, but they’d be used, too, eventually.” He reached into his hoodie pocket and pulled out a folded blueprint of the cottages on the farm. “Three of them are modern, one is older, but one,” Chad stabbed his finger down on the page. “This one is really old. It has a septic tank, doesn’t it?”

Michael didn’t answer.

“Scent dogs ... well, the cottage would’ve smelled of Harriet anyway, and the cadaver dogs weren’t taken to the right place, they were used in the ditches around your property. Harriet had vanished, and after initially blaming James, you must’ve been relieved the police were linking her to other disappearances of young women. You must’ve thought you won the lottery when Vincent Whitehall was caught and claimed Harriet as one of his victims. You’d gotten away with it. But I guess defecating on your own daughter’s dead body started to get to you.”

“Stop it,” Michael snapped. He lurched upright. Romeo took a step closer, but Chad held up his hand, telling him to wait. “Don’t talk about her like that. I-it was an accident.”

“What was?”

“I didn’t mean to kill her. But she blamed me for James ending things with her. She never understood I was just trying to protect her. He was a predator. She pushed me, and I ... I hit her. I wrapped my hands around her neck. She was always the ungrateful one, always pushing my buttons. I think part of why she liked James was because she knew it angered me. I killed her, and I didn’t know what to do. I’d only had the septic tank drained the month before, had watched them do it. There was access to it beside the cottage, and I shoved her down the shaft. She’s been there ever since.”

“She was a few meters from her mum and sister the whole time.”

“I didn’t mean to kill her. It was the heat of the moment. An accident. I’ve had to live with that—”

Chad snorted. “You’ve been here, sunning it up while your wife desperately pleaded with a serial killer to be allowed her daughter’s body parts. A serial killer that hadn’t even killed her. That’s what she wanted more than anything, to be reunited with her daughter in death.”

Michael’s top lip curled. “Well, she got another daughter to join her in her grave, didn’t she.”

Chad stiffened.

“Chad...” Romeo growled.

He held up his hand again, keeping Romeo at bay.

“She did,” Chad whispered. “And I played my part in that. But it wouldn’t have happened. None of that would have, if you’d just told us where Harriet was. You could’ve made an anonymous phone call, I doubt there’s much evidence on your daughter’s body now to implicate you, but you didn’t. I’m going to do what you should have. I’m going to make that anonymous call to reunite whatever is left of Harriet with her mother and sister.”

“What about me?” Michael asked. “What happens to me?”

“I’m so glad you asked,” Chad said. “Because I’m sick of the sight of you. I’m sick of the sight of you ... alive.”

Michael’s brow twitched in confusion.

Chad looked to Romeo. “Kill him.”

“Wait just a minute,” Michael said, getting to his feet.

He didn’t get a chance to say anything else. In two strides Romeo had crossed the room and taken hold of Michael’s throat in his right hand.  Michael pushed Romeo in the chest, crashing into the table as he tried to get away, but Romeo didn’t let go. He started to squeeze.

Michael gaped and flailed like a fish on a line, trying to twist his way out of Romeo’s hold. His eyes widened in disbelief.

Chad tucked the blueprint back into his hoodie and got to his feet. He rounded the table, heading for Romeo who grunted when Michael managed to strike him in the face. Michael scrambled backwards, pulling Romeo with him and knocking into the wall.

Romeo pinned him against it, and Michael’s eyes widened when he realized he couldn’t escape.

Chad knew Romeo was toying with his prey. He could’ve used both hands and dealt with Michael in seconds, but he was waiting for Chad.  As soon as Chad got within reach, Romeo yanked him close with his free hand, so his back was to Romeo’s chest, and they were in the same position they had been when they killed Keeley.

“I fucking love this part,” Romeo murmured, dropping a kiss to Chad’s neck.

He covered Chad’s left hand with his left hand, slotting his fingers through the gaps, then brought it up to Michael’s throat to take over while they put their right hands in the same position, fingers joined, gloves linked with gloves then pressed against skin. Michael clawed at the hands on his throat, but it made no difference.

His hands dropped away as both Chad and Romeo squeezed.

Four hands crushed the life from Michael Hastings.

Burglary on the surface.

But as soon as the pathologist looked at his neck, the almost impossible compression from one pair of hands, not desperate, not spare of the moment, but deliberate, absolute.

Then they’d know it was cold-blooded murder.

It would be their signature.

The bruises would be darker. The blood vessels would be ruptured, and every piece of cartilage would be squashed flat, forced back to the spine, scraping on it enough to leave a mark that would be recorded.

Their murders would be far apart, both in time, and in location, and it would be years before somebody linked them.

Romeo nipped Chad’s neck. “I love you so fucking much.”

Chad turned his head, lips parted, encouraging a kiss from Romeo.

Romeo groaned as he pressed into it, slipping his tongue against Chad’s.

They kissed while they killed, and the whole time they felt Michael’s pulse through their hands, slowing, slowing, and then it stopped, and raw desire took over.

Chad kissed Romeo hard enough he could feel Romeo’s pulse on his lips and hear it in his ears. Romeo matched him. He curled his arms around Chad, taking Chad’s arms with him, their fingers still entwined.

Michael must’ve hit the ground but neither of them noticed.

Romeo rocked his hips, driving his erection into the back of Chad.

Chad broke the kiss to scowl him. “Remember what I said.”

“No,” Romeo panted, “Not right now.”

“We can’t fuck here,” Chad reminded.

Romeo knocked his forehead to the side of Chad’s cheek. He groaned. “Now I remember. Something about saliva, and hair, and skin, and semen,” he kept Chad’s arms hostage, crushing Chad to his chest as he thrusted against him. “My cum dripping down your legs,” he leaned down to nip Chad’s bottom lip. “Leaving drops of it on the floor.”

“Yes,” Chad swallowed. It was getting harder and harder not to give in and let Romeo undo his trousers. “We ... we need to avoid that.”

“Me jerking your cock while I’m inside of you,” Romeo panted wetly by Chad’s ear. “Making you come all over the furniture.”

“Christ, Romeo,” Chad’s eyes rolled back. He would’ve covered his ears if Romeo wasn’t still pinning his hands. “We ... we need to leave.”

“Right now?” Romeo murmured. “Are you sure?”

Chad shook his head, then nodded, then shook it again. “I... I...”

“Why didn’t you just say?” Romeo asked, tugging Chad back.

“I hate you a little.” Chad sighed dreamily, walking with Romeo to the sliding door.

“Really?” Romeo asked. He quirked an eyebrow. “You’re going to love me in a minute...”

“Is that so?”

“It’s so,” Romeo replied. “I’m going to have to cover your mouth so you don’t scream my name. My real name.”

Chad shut the sliding door after them.

Romeo pursued him down the beach, herding him like prey.

Chad panted as he watched Romeo over his shoulder, wanting to be caught.

His green eyes shone, and his muscles tensed as he curled his body forward, ready to pounce.

Romeo tackled him.

He pushed Chad down until he was on all fours on the sand.

“Got you...” he smirked, dropping to his knees behind Chad.

He yanked Chad’s trousers down, exposing him.

“No underwear,” Romeo groaned. “Are you trying to kill me?”

Chad flashed a smile over his shoulder. “We really should put the masks back on—”

“Not happening,” Romeo said.

He bit off his gloves, then spat on his fingers.

Chad bit his lip, waiting for Romeo to stretch him open.

“What the...” Romeo muttered, entranced, as he stroked his thumb over Chad’s hole. He pushed it inside, groaning at how easily Chad’s body opened up for it. He started pumping in two fingers, chuckling to himself when he realized how easy they moved in and out, how he could scissor them, and press against Chad’s soft rim. “That’s why you were so long getting ready.”

He added a third finger, then a fourth, sitting back on his heels to watch them going in and out of Chad’s ready hole, one hand braced on Chad’s lower back to keep him steady, leaning back to get a good view.

Chad had stretched himself with lube before they left, imagining the night to come. He’d been desperate to jerk off while doing it, but managed to hold back.

“Premeditated,” Chad smirked. “All of it.”

“You’re so goddam perfect, Mr. Knight.”

Romeo surged to his knees and replaced his fingers with his cock.

He didn’t hold back.

He didn’t need to.

Chad clawed at the sand as Romeo took hold of his hips, pounding into him to release them both of the need that had taken over the moment Michael’s heart had stopped.

He opened his mouth, about to shout Romeo’s name, but Romeo leaned over and muffled him with his palm.

“You trying to get us caught?” Romeo chuckled, easing his hand away from Chad’s mouth. “Control yourself.”

“Romeo,” Chad growled through gritted teeth.

Romeo chuckled.

His grip was bruising, and Chad couldn’t wait to admire the marks when they appeared purple in a few days’ time. Romeo fucked into Chad, tugging on Chad’s hips at the same time he drove his cock inside, making sure it went deep, making sure Chad felt all of it.

“You were made for me,” Romeo murmured. “Whatever sick fuck out there decided to put me on this planet put you on it too. We were supposed to find each other. Our paths were always destined to cross,” he tipped his head up to the stars. “And we don’t get the tragic ending.”

Chad managed to shake off the glove on his right hand. He braced his weight on one forearm so he could reach between his legs and take his cock in hand. He shut his eyes and jerked himself while Romeo took him apart.

“Not even the end of us will be tragic,” Romeo breathed. “Because we’ll be together.”

Chad slowed his hand.

“We’ll jump together,” Chad whispered to the sand.

The next time he jumped, it would be with Romeo.

He could see it.

His hand in Romeo’s, their fingers knotted together.

They’d fall with smiles on their lips, love in their hearts and eyes locked on one another as they hit the ground.

And when they were found, bloody and crumpled, with bones jutting and organs leaking, their hands, with misshapen fingers and broken wrists, would still be linked.

Forever.

The image made Chad both happy and sad.

His eyes stung, and a tear ran down his cheek.

But it wasn’t the end.

It was a long time in the future, decades even.

They had time, lots of poison-free time where he’d enjoy every moment.

Chad arched his back, pushing back onto Romeo’s deep thrusts. He jerked his cock until he was coming onto the sand, clenching involuntarily, tugging on Romeo’s cock, disrupting his rhythm.

Romeo moaned, flexing his hips a final few times as he unloaded inside Chad’s body. He collapsed on Chad’s back, before slipping to the side, and landing on the sand.

Chad lay down next to him, heaving for breath as they both looked up at the stars.

“That’s one off the list,” Romeo said.

It would grow, they both knew it would, but Chad had personal scores to settle.

“Who next?” Romeo asked.

“I think it’s about time we pay a certain journalist a visit...”

Romeo hummed, smiling. “Couldn’t agree with you more, but might I suggest something else first...”

Chad turned to him. “What?”

Romeo took Chad’s hand, his left hand. He pulled off Chad’s remaining glove and stroked his fingers. “Let’s get married.”

“We are married. Our passports. All our documents—”

“I know. But let’s actually do it.”

Chad smiled. “Yeah?”

“Hell, yeah.”

“Okay,” Chad said softly. He beamed at Romeo. “We will.”

Romeo exhaled a pleased breath. “The next time we strangle someone to death, there will be rings glinting on our fingers. Ones that say you’re mine and I’m yours.”

“The Knights.”

“Yes,” Romeo leaned in to kiss Chad on the lips. “Mr & Mr Knight.”

The End

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