SEXLESS IN SEATTLE

DJ JAMISON

Sexless in Seattle

By DJ Jamison

Copyright 2024 DJ Jamison

Published by Must Love Books LLC

Cover design by Morningstar Ashley

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please return it to Amazon.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Created with Vellum

CHAPTER 1

ZACH

The credits rolled on Sleepless in Seattle, and I sighed. “I need a Tom Hanks in my life.”

Austin stretched out his lanky form beside me on my sofa, sounding bored as he said, “As if you’d give any man the time of day.”

“I would if—”

“Nope,” Jordan interrupted before downing the rest of his Mountain Dew. “Not even Tom freaking Hanks, and you know it.”

Once a week, my friends came over and we watched a movie. Usually the movies were sappy. Jordan and Becca were huge romance buffs, and I needed the escape from real-life problems. Austin just came for the snacks, I was pretty sure.

My friends showed up for me—kept showing up for me—even though I couldn’t do the same for them.

“Maybe Zach needs a matchmaker like in the movie,” Becca mused. “He doesn’t have a son, but I’m sure we could step in…”

“Don’t even think about it,” I warned as I pushed off the sofa and began to gather empty soda cans from the coasters on the coffee table.

We were all old enough to drink, but with my younger brother in the house, I didn’t want to take any chances.

“Seriously, Zach, you could do with a good date,” Becca said.

“She means you need to get laid,” Austin put in far less diplomatically. “You’re wound too damn tight, man.”

“He’s got a point,” Jordan, the traitor, added. Of everyone, I expected him to understand. “When’s the last time you even left the house to go anywhere but work?”

“Earlier today.”

“The grocery store doesn’t count,” Austin said.

Damn it.

My friends didn’t really understand. I didn’t blame them. I hadn’t understood before I became a guardian for my brother, either.

Getting custody of Eric had been a rigorous test of adulthood when our parents died two years ago. I’d had to prove steady employment and a safe, responsible home environment. As much as the state preferred not to take a pre-teen into foster care, a social worker had checked up on me more than once.

I wasn’t about to risk anything that would endanger Eric’s place with me.

That meant no alcohol, no partying, and no fucking around with men.

Not that I knew much about that anyway. I’d been socially awkward even before raising my younger brother consumed my life. I was only twenty when I became the head of this house, and I’d thought I had plenty of time to meet the right guy and emerge from my ugly duckling phase into a beautiful swan, or some shit like that.

Now? Well, I’d made my peace with the fact that I’d remain single and sexless for a good long time. At least until Eric was out of the house. But knowing me, I wouldn’t be any more swan-like once he was grown.

My friends were still going on about my lack of a life. Time to deflect.

“When’s the last time you did anything but go to classes and study your ass off, Jordan? And you, Austin, you go on dates but always find reasons to hate every single one of them. And you, Becca—”

She blinked her big blue eyes at me. “What about me?”

“Well, nothing. You actually have healthy relationships. But that’s not the point.”

“What is the point?” Jordan asked.

I sighed just as loudly as I had when the movie came to an end and shook my head. “Nothing. Just…we all have our shit, you know? Let me have mine.”

“But you deserve better than your shit,” Jordan said.

“Yeah, you deserve a life,” Austin said. “Raising your brother doesn’t mean—”

I held up my hand, and he stopped short. “I’ve chosen my priorities. Enough said.”

My friends all exchanged looks, but they nodded and respected my wishes. They knew firsthand the hell I’d been through in the past two years. They wouldn’t push me.

But I could see from their faces that they really wanted to.

There was a shuffling sound behind me, and I turned.

Eric stood there in his sweats and T-shirt, hair sticking up in three different directions.

“Hey,” I said. “I didn’t think you were still up.”

Eric scratched at the back of his neck. “Yeah, I was going to grab a drink.”

“No caffeine.”

He rolled his eyes. “I know.”

“And make sure you use a coaster,” I called as he started toward the kitchen.

“Ugh, I know already!”

His tone was sassy as hell, something that had been happening more and more since he’d turned twelve.

Jordan raised his eyebrows. “Wow, he’s already turning into a teenager.”

“I know, right?”

“Good luck with that,” Austin said with a smirk. “If you don’t start dating soon, he’s going to beat you to it.”

“Oh fuck, don’t say that,” I said with a shudder. “You’ll give me nightmares.”

With Eric being ten years younger than me—not so much an oops baby as a second-chance baby after my mom married her original high school sweetheart after divorcing my absentee father—I’d always been protective of him.

If I had my way, Eric wouldn’t date until he was eighteen.

And he’ll probably still beat me to it…

CHAPTER 2

TRISTAN

I sipped my mojito, letting the tart flavor coat my tongue, and tried to ignore the sweaty, horny bodies writhing on the dance floor a few feet away.

Levi nudged my shoulder. “Come on. Stop moping.”

“Yeah, the best way to get over a guy is to get under another one, right?” Celeste said. “That’s why we’re here.”

My colleagues had dragged me to this gay club in Capitol Hill to knock me out of my funk. No doubt my sour face was a downer in our normally light-hearted workplace.

Joke was on them, though. The funk wasn’t going anywhere.

I fiddled with the mint leaf garnishing my glass, avoiding their gazes. “I’m not moping.”

Just because Malcolm had wasted six weeks of my life stringing me along with rushed dates and mediocre sex—all of which I put up with because we were supposed to be headed somewhere—only to tell me he wasn’t ready for something serious. And that was after Adrian told me he only wanted a fuck buddy because he was too young to settle. Because being with me would be settling. And those were the guys who bothered to get to know me. Most of them just wanted to hook up and run.

With my athletic build, I could attract guys easily enough on dating apps. My brown hair and hazel eyes—and whole boy next door vibe—didn’t have them falling at my feet begging for more, though.

I was only twenty-six. Maybe I was supposed to be like them, enjoying life and living in the moment. But I craved stability. A family. A future where I didn’t need apps or clubs to feel less alone.

“You’re full-on pouting,” Heather said with a laugh. “If you’re not gonna hook up, at least have some fun with us.”

She hopped off her stool and grabbed my wrist, tugging me until I relented and allowed myself to be dragged onto the dance floor.

Levi and Celeste joined us to dance in a loose friend circle, everyone swinging their hips and bumping into one another to be silly. Of course, those two locked eyes more than once. They were basically the Jim and Pam of the advertising firm, totally into each other and yet always holding back. It was painful to watch, and I had enough pain in the romance department as it was, so I ducked out of the group to swing by the bar for another mojito.

“Buy you a drink?” a guy asked from beside me.

I glanced over. He was cute, with a dimple in his cheek, light eyes against an olive complexion. He looked about twenty-five.

“Depends,” I said. “Are you looking for a serious boyfriend?”

“Uh…”

I waved my hand. “Don’t bother answering. I’ll buy my own drinks.”

He chuckled awkwardly. “No offense, man, but you gotta let these things happen naturally. You can’t force love.”

As he sauntered off, immediately hitting on another guy a few feet away, I rolled my eyes. Yeah, okay. I knew I couldn’t force love. But that didn’t mean I had to waste my time on someone who didn’t want it, right?

I downed my mojito and raised my hand for another.

By the time I made it home, I was tipsy enough to drop my key while unlocking the door to my apartment, sending me into a giggling fit worthy of a high school girl.

I kicked off my shoes, nearly tripping myself, stumbled three steps, and crash-landed on my couch.

You can’t force love. What an asshole.

Just like Malcolm. And Adrien. And all those other immature idiots.

“I should tell ’em all.” I fumbled my phone out of my pocket. My fingers were clumsy, and instead of ending up on my phone directory, I opened one of my social apps.

There was a post from someone asking if they were an asshole.

I blinked a few times, and my vision steadied enough for me to read through the text. Ah-ha. This guy wanted love too. He was not the asshole.

I left a comment cheering him on—which is what people should do, dammit—and scrolled to another one and another.

I sobered enough to fetch a bag of chips and some water and munched noisily as I continued cruising posts to make myself feel better.

A strange one on a SeattleLife social media stream caught my eye.

The headline read: My brother (22) deserves to find love, and I (12) think I’m holding him back.

I skimmed over the post.

My older brother dropped out of college and gave up all his plans to take custody of me when our parents died two years ago. He works hard, and when he’s not working, he’s basically a single dad who’s taking care of dinner and helping me with homework. He’s totally awesome, and even though losing our parents was super hard, I’m okay because of him. But last week I overheard him tell his friends that he won’t date. He doesn’t think he can because of me.

When I asked him about it, he said he didn’t need a boyfriend. He just wants me to be happy. But that doesn’t seem cool at all.

What can I do to make my brother see that he deserves happiness too?

Oh, fuck.

I was whining about guys not wanting to settle down, and here was a guy raising his brother. A guy who couldn’t even try to find love.

A guy who was apparently gay, based on his younger brother’s use of the word boyfriend…

I bit my lip, torn, but couldn’t resist joining the huge volume of replies accumulating beneath the post.

You seem like a great kid to care about your brother’s happiness. You’re right. He deserves to find a guy who recognizes how amazing he is, just like you do.

I wish I could meet someone like him. I’d love to date a guy who’s so devoted to his family, so responsible and caring.

I hesitated a moment, then threw caution to the wind.

Tell your brother if he ever wants to get a coffee, I’d love to meet him.

I closed out of the app before I could change my mind and delete everything I said. I had a feeling I’d regret it in the morning, but for now, this brother gave me hope.

At only twenty-two, this man was more mature than any of the guys I’d met. That meant there had to be other guys like him out there, right?

I couldn’t force love, and it was time to stop trying with guys who clearly weren’t on the same page. If I was patient, maybe I’d eventually meet someone who wanted the same things I did.

CHAPTER 3

ZACH

The line at Roasted stretched out the door. We were in the middle of our morning rush, and Carrie was still relatively new, so I was coaching her on each step.

“Okay, now put it under the steamer,” I instructed before crouching to open a cabinet under the counter and withdraw a bottle of syrup.

Tran called out from the drive-thru window. “I need vanilla—oh.” He took the bottle I extended. “Thanks, man. You must be psychic or something.”

“That’s my job,” I said lightly, turning back to direct Carrie to her next step on the caramel macchiato she was fumbling her way through.

Matty called out the next order, a raspberry mocha, and I sidestepped Carrie to start that just as my cell phone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket with one hand to check the display.

Damn. It was the school number.

“I have to take this. I need you to finish the order, Carrie.”

She gave me a panicked look. “I don’t know—”

“Ask Matty.” I ducked around her and into the hallway that led to the small office where I had a heap of paperwork to do as the coffee shop’s manager and hit the Call button. “Hi, this is Zach Martin, returning a call.”

“Hi, Zach, thanks for calling back. I’ve got Eric in the nurse’s office. He’s got a fever. The flu has been going around.”

Shit.

“Uh…okay.” I checked the time on my phone. We’d be through the rush here in the next twenty minutes. “I’ll be there as soon as I can. Is he okay? I’ve got to tie up some loose ends at work real quick.”

“We’re keeping him comfortable. The nurse gave him some over-the-counter meds for the fever, but he’s pretty miserable so…”

“I’ll hurry. Thanks!”

I re-pocketed my phone, swore a few more times under my breath, and swooped back out to the front of the shop to check its status. The line had dwindled to only six people now.

“Matty, I’m gonna need you to hold down the fort,” I said.

“Oh?” Matty’s carefully plucked eyebrows arched under their spiky haircut, their glossy lips pursing with concern. “What about...?” They nodded their head toward Carrie. She was only half an employee at this stage, not having fully trained yet.

It wasn’t ideal, but Matty could handle it. They were more self-assured than some of my longer-term employees. When you had to fight for your identity with your own family, it probably made a barista job seem like child’s play.

“Just do your best. I trust you.” I held up the phone in my hand. “Eric’s sick. I have to pick him up at school, but I’m going to take the staff list with me and make some calls to get someone else to fill in as soon as possible.”

Matty nodded. “No prob, boss. We’ll manage.”

I helped make another order while giving Carrie and Tran some instructions for the rest of the day, then swung by my office to pick up a sheaf of payroll and inventory data to go through at home.

I arrived at Eric’s school fifteen minutes later, and he trudged out of the office with a flushed face and slumped shoulders. There was a dull cast to his eyes that told me he was seriously sick.

So much for returning to work today. Maybe not tomorrow either.

“We better run by urgent care,” I said with a sigh. “See if we can get you some better meds, huh?”

“I guess,” he mumbled.

We were both tired and cranky by the time we made it home two hours later. I’d stopped at the pharmacy for a prescription and also picked up some Gatorade to keep him hydrated. I made Eric a bed on the sofa and handed him the TV remote.

He gave me a wan smile. “This is like old times.”

My heart ached because I knew just what he meant. Anytime we missed school because of illness, Mom set us up on the sofa and coddled us all day. We got to watch whatever we wanted, get food hand delivered to us, and wallow in the grace of our mother’s love.

Damn, she’d spoiled us in the best way.

“Well, what’ll it be,” I said. “Soup or ice cream?”

Eric scoffed. “Considering you make soup out of a can, I’ll take the ice cream.”

“Harsh, man. I make great ham and beans.”

“With all the beans out of a can.”

“Shut it!” I called as I headed for the freezer.

“Mom never told me to shut up when I’m sick,” he said.

I faltered a step. We rarely talked about our parents. It was painful for both of us. But I didn’t want to discourage Eric from talking about them, so I tried to cover my momentary surprise and grabbed the rocky road ice cream from the freezer.

I added three scoops to a bowl, added a generous heaping of chocolate syrup from the fridge, then returned to the living room.

“No one will ever accuse me of being as great as Mom, but here you go.”

“Sorry,” Eric said as he took the bowl from me.

“No, I’m sorry,” I said. “I wish…”

He’d already shoved a huge bite into his mouth, so he shook his head.

“Don’t do that,” he said after he’d swallowed. “You don’t need to be Mom or Dad.”

I pulled a face. It was nice that he understood I could never replace them, but I wanted to. At a soul-deep level, I wanted to fill the void in Eric’s life. No one should lose their parents, and it hurt me too. Like hell. But to lose them at age ten? That was so much worse.

“And besides, what about what you need?”

I blinked, caught off-guard. “What do you mean?”

Eric pulled the face this time. “I heard you and your friends last week. You said you couldn’t date ’cause of me.”

I perched on the cushion by his side. “Hey, no. It’s not your fault.”

“I know,” he said, sounding so certain I didn’t question it. In many ways, Eric had a confidence I’d lacked at his age. Considering everything he’d been through, it showed how self-assured he was. “It’s dumb that you think you can’t date. I don’t care if you have a boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?” I said weakly.

He shrugged. “I heard you come out to Mom and Dad. It’s no big deal.”

“Oh. Well, still, I—uh…” I fumbled for words, flustered by my little brother’s call-out. “I’ve got work and you, and—and the house to take care of…”

“I’m not a little kid anymore,” he said firmly.

“You’re not grown up either.”

He huffed. “Maybe you won’t listen to me, but I’m not the only one who thinks you should stop holding yourself back.” He dug into the zippered pocket of the backpack he’d dropped on the floor and withdrew his phone. He clicked a few buttons, then turned it so I could see the screen.

“There’s lots of people who agree with me,” he said smugly. “Look, there are hundreds of replies.”

He wasn’t wrong. There were heaps of replies.

So many strangers, all talking about what I should do with my life as if they had the first clue. My face burned with embarrassment, and I wanted to yell at Eric for putting me on display.

“There’s some people who said they’d love to date a guy like you,” he said. “A lot of them were girls, but there’s a few guys too.”

I looked down at my earnest brother, and my anger drained away.

He was sick and using the little energy he had to persuade me to have a love life. But he didn’t understand the amount of responsibility I owed him or how drained I was by the time I got through work, dinner, and household chores. I might be twenty-two, but I felt about forty most of the time.

When I did carve out some free time, I wanted to give Eric the attention he deserved, not ditch him so I could try to get laid.

Besides, what guy would really want me when I was a package deal with a twelve-year-old?

It was pointless to worry about it. Eric would be grown before I was thirty. I had plenty of time to find the right guy once my brother didn’t need me so much.

I ruffled Eric’s hair. “Thanks for caring, kid, but how about you let me worry about my life, okay? And you just worry about getting better.”

He looked disappointed. “Sometimes, you’re more like Mom and Dad than you think.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Well, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

As I walked away, I heard him grumble, “I didn’t mean it to be.”

I smiled to myself.

It might aggravate Eric that I was treating him like a kid, but that’s what he was. He needed to worry about school and friends and videogames.

My nonexistent love life should be the least of his worries.

Fuck knew it was the least of mine.

CHAPTER 4

TRISTAN

Z-man22

My little brother told me he’d messaged you personally after you responded to his post. I’m sorry if he bothered you. I’ll put an end to it.

SeattleLoner:

Who is this?

Z-man22:

Oh, sorry. This is Zach. Uh, my younger brother made a post on SeattleLife about me. Kind of embarrassing tbh. It was about me not dating. *cringe*

My heart skipped as realization hit. This was the man who’d given up everything to devote himself to raising his younger brother. The guy who’d single-handedly pulled me out of my funk simply by existing—much to my work colleagues’ relief.

Somehow, just knowing a guy like Zach was out there gave me hope I might eventually find someone who cared about more than having fun. Somehow, it’d made it easier to move on from Malcolm. It took only a few days to realize I didn’t miss him. It wasn’t until he was gone, and I’d worked through the sting of rejection, that I could see how stressed I’d been when we were together. I’d tried so damn hard to please him, even when all he wanted to do were things that didn’t please me.

SeattleLoner:

Zach, hi! I didn’t mind your brother messaging me. He seems like a sweet kid.

Z-man22:

Well, he is just a kid. I’m not sure I’m comfortable with him talking to adults online, so…

Aw. He was worried about his little brother. My stomach did a swoopy flip.

My phone pinged with another message.

Z-man22:

I don’t know you, so no offense, but you could be talking to him under false pretenses.

Oh, shit, he was worried I might be a predator. The flutters in my stomach turned to stone and dropped.

I rushed to type out a response.

SeattleLoner:

Oh, no no. I was interested in you, not him.

There was a beat of silence, and I re-read what I wrote to him. Crap, that wasn’t better, was it? I probably sounded like a creeper.

SeattleLoner:

I just mean, your story. Not, like, you. I don’t know you either. But you obviously care about your brother a lot.

Z-man22:

Yeah, I really do. He’s a good kid, but then he does something like this, and I want to pull my hair out.

SeattleLoner:

Hey, don’t be too hard on him. He just cares about you too. He wants you to be happy.

Z-man22:

Happiness is not really on my agenda these days. But thanks for being a friendly ear.

SeattleLoner:

No problem, and fyi, I think happiness should always be on the agenda.

Z-man22:

Wouldn’t that be nice? Anyway, I’ll leave you alone. Thanks again for understanding.

SeattleLoner:

No worries. Message me anytime.

Zach didn’t message me again, despite my invitation. I checked my phone for the next few days, hoping to see some sign he might want to continue our conversation.

Celeste found me staring at the screen, silently trying to work up the nerve to reach out to him. Would I seem like a weirdo if I did? I was pretty sure I might. There was just something about Zach’s situation that kept calling to me. It wasn’t just his story, though that pulled at my heartstrings. Or that he obviously didn’t have time for games or nonsense like pretty much all the other men I’d met. Though I was sure he didn’t. When Zach met someone worth dating, he would take it seriously. How could he not, when he had so many important considerations in his life?

All those things were appealing. But really, it was also just Zach. When we’d talked, it’d been easy, despite the awkward situation. They were only words on a screen, and yet I’d sensed how genuine he was.

“Okay, who is he?” Celeste asked.

I flipped my phone over on my desk. “Who is who?”

“The guy who has you obsessing over your phone.” She smiled teasingly. “Did you take my advice and get under another guy last week?”

“No.” I rolled my eyes. “If I only wanted that, I would have no trouble getting it.”

“Look who’s getting cocky,” she teased, nudging me.

“Believe me, I’m not. It’s just that most men want one thing, and it’s not all that difficult to get. It’s the rest of it that eludes me.”

She frowned. “So is this mystery man stringing you along?”

“Nope.” Zach hadn’t given me the slightest sign he’d have any interest. “Kind of the opposite.”

She raised her eyebrows. “He’s serious?”

“Not interested,” I said. “We only messaged once, but…” I shrugged. “I just have this feeling he’d be great.”

“Or you’re projecting your fantasies onto him?”

“No, I…” Shit, was she right? What did I actually know about Zach other than he was raising his younger brother. And that was assuming everything he and his brother had told me was true. In theory, I could be texting with a catfisher preying on people’s sympathy. Maybe hoping for handouts. But my heart rebelled at the notion. No one had asked me for money. No one had even hinted at it. But was that how they got you? Like hooked you with what seemed like a sincere friendship before milking you of your life savings? Was I just like those women who got duped by the Tinder Swindler? There was a whole documentary about how they’d gotten scammed.

“Hey, sorry,” Celeste said. “I didn’t mean to rain on your parade. You could be right. He’s probably great.”

I huffed. “I don’t know him. But what did you need? I’m sure you didn’t come over to talk about my nonexistent love life.”

“We’ve got a client meeting in a few weeks at Glow Up, that new club opening on Union Street downtown. They want a splashy ad campaign and a swanky grand opening party. I was hoping you could give me some projections based on similar launches we’ve done that I could work into the presentation.”

I nodded, glad for the distraction. Numbers were my happy place. Most people found the idea of my job tedious and boring, but there was a comfort in knowing that numbers would always add up. They were reliable, consistent, and never let me down.

“Yeah, I can pull up the work we did last year on that gay bar in Capitol Hill. It’s not entirely apples to apples, but it’s close, I think. I’ll also do some competitive market analysis on the other businesses downtown, consumer trends, and demographics.”

“That sounds great,” Celeste said. “I’ll work with Levi on some preliminary marketing ideas. He’s got good instincts about what will sell people.”

I smirked. “I’m sure he’ll be happy to be of service.”

Celeste flicked my ear, making me jerk away from her. “Watch it, or we’ll go back to talking about your mystery man.”

I held up my hands in surrender. “I have far too much work to do for you to think about anything else right now.”

She chuckled. “Good save.”

After she left, I picked up my phone, the lack of notifications taunting me with Zach’s silence. But Celeste was right. I didn’t know him, and I was probably just wishing him into a man I wanted.

But there was only one way to change that.

I tapped out a quick message, then turned off my phone so I could focus on work rather than continue to obsess. I’d either get to know Zach for who he was, or I’d scare him away for good. Either way, I’d stop fantasizing over a dream man who didn’t exist.

SeattleLoner:

Would you have any interest in meeting for coffee? I’d really like to get to know you better.

CHAPTER 5

ZACH

“You should go out with him!”

Becca was so excited about SeattleLoner’s coffee date invitation that she bounced on the couch. The movie selection screen was already up on the television, but everyone’s attention was on me.

“I don’t even know the guy,” I hedged, already regretting telling my friends about what Eric had done. They’d grilled me with questions until I spilled every detail, including the heaps of replies and few text exchanges that had resulted from my brother’s impulsive post.

“You never will if you don’t try,” Austin helpfully pointed out. “It might be good for you to get out there.”

“Let’s just watch the movie,” I said.

I looked at my laptop, where our friend Skylar had joined us on a video call. He’d moved away with his boyfriend last year, and ever since, we’d heard from him less and less, but he popped in virtually when he could.

“Sky, what will it be?”

“Evil Rising 4,” he said without missing a beat.

Everyone groaned. Skylar was our only friend who preferred scary movies over romantic ones.

Austin smirked at me. “You must really want to avoid this conversation if you’re eager to watch that.”

“Seriously,” Jordan muttered as he settled into my single swivel armchair with a fuzzy throw blanket. Jordan kept to himself even when in a group.

“I’m eager to watch it,” Skylar said. “I’ve only got a couple of hours before Drake gets home.”

It went without saying that he’d disconnect the second his boyfriend walked through the door. We’d all tried to talk to him about the health of that relationship, but Skylar was no more eager to talk about that than I was to talk about SeattleLoner and his coffee date.

I reached for the remote to select the gore-fest that would make Skylar grin and everyone else hide their faces in the pillows. I wondered sometimes if seeing massacres made Skylar feel better about his life. If so, I could relate to that. Sometimes we needed to know that our lives weren’t as bad as they could be.

Becca pointed at me. “We’re talking more about this when the movie ends.”

I hit the Play button, and the movie opened with creepy music and frightened panting as someone ran through a cemetery.

Jordan hopped from his seat, moving faster than I’d ever seen. “I’ll go make popcorn.”

Austin laughed. “Think he’ll come back?”

“Maybe when the credits are rolling,” I said with a snicker.

“Don’t talk about whether he’ll come back. That’s one of those horror movie rules,” Skylar said. “He might get ax-murdered in the kitchen.”

“Who’s getting ax-murdered?” Eric asked from behind the sofa.

Becca screeched and Austin startled so hard he threw his bag of chips in the air.

Skylar’s laugh echoed from my laptop speakers, a sound I hadn’t heard in far too long. “Wow, you guys are so easy to scare.”

“Says the guy who saw the kid sneaking up on us,” Austin muttered as he picked up Doritos from all over the rug. We kept the video call facing us so Skylar could talk to us when he wanted while watching the movie on his own television.

“Sorry,” Eric said, gaze flicking to the television.

I hurriedly paused the movie, but considering there was a dismembered arm on the screen, I wasn’t sure how much it helped.

“What’s up, Eric? You probably shouldn’t watch this.”

He rolled his eyes. “It’s not like it’s porn. I can handle scary movies.”

Becca choked on a sip of her soda, and Jordan ventured back from the kitchen, clearly realizing there was a break in the horror movie to focus on the horror that was my life.

“Excuse me?” I said, eyes wide. “What do you know about porn?”

“I’m twelve, not two,” Eric responded, which didn’t make me feel any better.

“Obviously, I’m going to have to block websites on your devices. Between this and the SeattleLife post—”

Eric scoffed. “Dude, I know how to work those blocks better than you do. I’m not a little kid. You don’t have to worry so much.”

“No, it’s worse,” I said. “You’re almost a teenager.”

After leaving to have a private chat with Eric about his Internet use, which left me feeling more powerless than before, I started back down the hall, only to overhear my friends gossiping about my personal life.

“I think Zach wants this, even if he can’t admit it,” Becca said. “Didn’t you see that bashful smile when he mentioned the SeattleLoner guy?”

My cheeks heated. Becca wasn’t wrong. There was something about SeattleLoner that had pulled at my interest more than any of the other people who’d engaged with Eric’s post. I knew virtually nothing about the guy, but part of me wanted to know more.

“He’s got more important priorities than dating,” Jordan said.

Thank you! Finally, someone understood.

“That doesn’t mean he should stop living though,” Austin said. “We all admire everything he’s done for Eric, but even the kid can see Zach deserves more.”

“Zach has to make his own choices,” Skylar said softly. “You can’t force him to see things your way. He’s doing what he thinks is best for him and Eric.”

I stepped forward, breaking into the conversation. “Skylar’s right. I’m the one who has to live with these choices. Eric is at a really important age. Besides, what am I supposed to tell this guy, that I can only date during school hours? That I can’t have sleepovers?”

“Why can’t you?” Austin asked.

I gave him a duh look.

“Parents have been having sex with kids in the house since the dawn of time,” he pointed out.

And my cheeks were blazing hot again. It wasn’t just the idea of getting laid with my brother in the house; it was the fact that I never had.

Gotten laid, that is.

Between my naturally shy nature and my parents’ death turning my life upside down, I was still a virgin.

Maybe I should change my screen name to SexlessinSeattle. Chances were, SeattleLoner would happily move on to someone else then. After all, who wanted to date a guy in his twenties with virtually no experience? That was meant for high school fumbling or early college experimenting, both of which I’d left behind. I didn’t know how old SeattleLoner was, but he had a mature vibe that told me he wasn’t some college kid.

“He seems like a nice guy, but I really don’t have time to date,” I said. “I’ve got my job, and I need to be here for Eric.”

“So just talk to him then,” Becca said. “You could always use another friend, right? And a little online flirtation never hurt anyone.”

“I don’t know…”

Jordan came over and slung his arm across my shoulders, catching me by surprise. He usually wasn’t one for much touching.

“We can’t tell you what to do, Zach. You’re a good brother, and a good guardian to Eric. None of us know what that’s like.”

Becca nodded. “That’s true. We can’t even imagine what it’s been like these past two years. You’ve given up so much.”

My throat grew tight as grief threatened to overwhelm me. I’d mostly adapted to my living situation by now. People stopped giving me condolences every time I saw them. I missed my parents, of course, but it was a distant ache, not the sharp pain of a fresh loss.

But just then, Becca reminded me I’d lost more than my parents in that icy accident.

I’d lost my freedom, my independence, my own life goals.

My chance at meeting guys and having sex and falling in love.

I’d given it all up to be there for Eric, and I didn’t regret making him my priority at all.

But that didn’t mean I didn’t miss what I’d lost.

Or wonder what it’d be like to have something more.

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to just…talk to SeattleLoner. To have a connection that wasn’t about work or Eric’s schooling or my longtime, well-meaning friends.

One thing that could just be mine.

CHAPTER 6

TRISTAN

Z-man22:

Caffeine should be an illegal substance.

SeattleLoner:

If it were illegal, you’d be out of a job.

Z-man22:

Or a caffeine dealer making way better wages than a coffee shop manager…

SeattleLoner:

A bad boy, huh? I guess that could be sexy.

“Why are you grinning like an idiot?”

I pocketed my phone as Celeste tried to look over my shoulder. I had two inches of height on her, even with the high-heeled boots she wore today, so she didn’t see anything. That didn’t keep her from guessing, though.

“Are you talking to your boo?” she teased.

“No,” I said, even as flutters erupted in my stomach. “He’s just a friend.”

If I said it enough, I’d believe it, right?

When Zach hadn’t responded to my coffee shop invitation, I realized I’d pushed too hard, too fast. I’d tried to leave it alone, but the unresolved ending to our messaging taunted me until I sent a follow-up.

SeattleLoner

It’s too fast to be asking you to meet. I’m sorry. I promise I’m not looking to ax-murder you.

Zach had replied.

Z-man22:

Just watched a horror movie with friends last night, and it’s not my preferred genre, so I’m glad to hear you don’t have sinister designs on me. Although a coffee shop would be a strange place to set a murder.

Please, I’d joked, have you not seen all those cozy mysteries, like Coffee and Murdercake or whatever?

From there, the conversation had flowed effortlessly.

For days, we’d chatted about our lives, exchanged jokes and memes, and clicked in a way I’d never clicked with anyone. I had zero doubts at this point that Zach was my dream man.

This wasn’t me projecting onto Zach or wishing for something that didn’t exist. This was…magic. I felt it with each ping of my phone. Each flutter in my gut. Each smile Zach drew simply by being him.

He said he didn’t want a relationship, but that was before we’d talked every morning and every night for two weeks. Day by day, we got closer. And every day, I considered asking again.

I’d typed the line and deleted it more than once.

Can we meet now?

I want to know you.

Imagine if we clicked like this in person?

Each time, I held off, not wanting to rush him—even though my heart was racing far ahead of the game. It was too soon to feeling so strongly, but Zach had given me hope that the right guy was out there. That he was the right guy.

How was I supposed to ignore that?

“Are you ready for our meeting over at Glow Up?” Celeste asked. “I kept Levi up all night polishing up our presentation.”

“Are you sure that’s the only reason you kept him up?”

“Shush, you.” She jabbed me in the ribs with her elbow, and I grunted as I shouldered my laptop bag.

“Oof. Sorry. I’ve got everything I need to go. You?”

She flashed me a smile. “Everything but a good caffeine hit. Like I said, I was working late.” She shot me a look that dared me to imply anything different. I valued my balls, so I did not. “Let’s stop at Roasted on the way. I love that place, but it’s usually too far out of my way to grab something.”

“Where is it? I’ve never been.”

“It’s just a few blocks from Glow Up. You have to try their chocolate muffins. They’re to die for.”

“I never say no to chocolate,” I said before patting my mostly flat but soft stomach. “Maybe I should.”

“Fuck that,” she said bluntly as we stepped outside the office. “Life is too short to skip the chocolate.”

That’s one reason I loved Celeste. She was a no-nonsense sort of woman. She was a top-notch professional who knew how to schmooze with the best of them, but she wasn’t afraid to take off her professional mask and be real with her friends.

Traffic wasn’t bad at this time of morning, since we were crossing town after the work commute, so we made good time. Street parking wasn’t great in front of the coffee shop, so I dropped Celeste off at the curb. After circling the block, I finally found a spot and hoofed it to the shop.

Celeste waved to me when I came in. She was waiting by the pickup counter, having already ordered. There were two people in line, one a suavely handsome man. The type of man who caught everyone’s eye, even as they knew they had no real chance, because he was rather intimidating in his sharp suit, hundred-dollar haircut, and model-perfect smile.

Then I looked past him to exactly where that smile was directed, and the world stopped. The barista was cute, with messy auburn hair, adorable freckles, and a confidence that showed in his quick but unflustered motions as he alternated taking orders and making drinks. At his side, a teen was watching his every move as if there’d be a test later. A trainee maybe?

But all that wasn’t what made my breath catch. It was the nametag.

Zach.

He could be some other guy named Zach. Some other Zach who was also a coffee shop manager. Coincidences happened, right?

I edged along the counter, compelled to get a closer look, to hear his voice, to figure out, is this my Zach?

Mr. Model slid a business card across the counter. “If you’ve got tonight free, I’d love someone to show me around town.”

Zach flashed him a quick, untroubled grin. “Sorry, but I’ve got to help my little brother with his homework. Eric’s struggling with pre-algebra. You know how it is.”

A little brother named Eric. There was no doubt now.

It was Zach!

My Zach.

I opened my mouth to say something, anything, when it occurred to me that calling out Zach at his workplace, when he’d never said he wanted to meet me, might not be the smartest move.

I snapped my mouth shut, waiting for this gorgeous stranger to sweep him off his feet while I watched, trapped.

That didn’t happen. What did happen seemed even worse.

Mr. Model tried to charm Zach with a story about his own brother. He tried to suggest they meet up after study time. But Zach brushed off his every effort without a second look.

As easy as swatting away a bug.

The gorgeous man left the counter with a baffled look, clearly confused. But I understood.

I suddenly understood better than I ever had.

Zach could have all the dates he wanted. He could have a boyfriend.

He didn’t want one.

And if Mr. Model couldn’t make an impression on him, what chance did a boring research analyst at a marketing firm have?

“Tristan!” a barista down by Celeste called out.

Zach turned toward the pickup counter, as if maybe he recognized my name. I’d told him what it was the second time we chatted. Thankfully, I was nowhere near the pickup zone. Meeting now would be a disaster. Zach might think I’d stalked him to force a meeting and how awful would that be?

When he faced the front of the shop again, his gaze landed on me for the first time. He smiled, and it was a smile of polite professionalism. A stranger’s smile.

“Can I help you?” he asked.

I shook my head, struck mute, and gestured toward Celeste, who was now headed toward me with our two cups and a massive chocolate muffin.

“We have to hurry if we don’t want to be late,” she said, thrusting the cup at me.

I took it, grateful for the diversion, and followed her from the shop.

But I couldn’t stop myself from looking back over my shoulder.

Zach’s attention was already on the next customer, smile carefully in place.

“Do you know him?” Celeste asked.

“No,” I answered truthfully, heart heavy. “He just looks like someone it would be nice to know.”

But I knew deep down that I couldn’t let myself know him, really know him.

I’d wasted enough time wanting guys to be serious about a relationship. To fall in love with me. But as the random dude trying to pick me up a couple of weeks ago said, you can’t force love.

If Zach didn’t want a relationship, I wouldn’t be the guy to change his mind.

Not when Mr. Model couldn’t get so much as a second glance.

It was time to stop projecting what I wanted onto a stranger. Time to face reality.

I was SeattleLoner, and maybe alone was what I was meant to be.

CHAPTER 7

ZACH

Z-Man22:

Why is it kids can break into any device known to man but become helpless when it’s time to do homework?

SeattleLoner:

Idk. Kids, right?

Z-Man22:

Right… So, how did your day go?

Z-Man22:

You there?

Z-Man22:

Tristan, are you okay?

SeattleLoner:

Yup! Just busy.

“What’s up with you?” Eric asked in a disgusted voice. “You just got us both killed.”

I looked up from my phone screen to see that I had indeed sabotaged the videogame I was playing with my brother to distract myself from SeattleLoner’s silence. Of course, that distraction didn’t work when I obsessively reread our most recent messages for clues to why he was ghosting me.

Ghosting wasn’t entirely accurate. He hadn’t vanished entirely. But he had certainly faded away to little more than one-word answers sent hours after I messaged.

“Sorry, Eric. I guess my focus isn’t too great today.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” My eyes gave me away by peeking again at my phone screen. Before I knew what happened, Eric had snatched it out of my hand.

“Hey, you’ve been talking to SeattleLoner!” He grinned. “That’s so cool!”

I held out my hand. “Not cool. That’s private. You know better than to go around grabbing people’s phones out of their hands.”

“You’re not people,” he said.

I wiggled my fingers, and he slapped my phone into my palm. “Is SeattleLoner why you’ve been happier lately?”

That caught me off-guard. “I haven’t been happier…have I?”

“You’ve been singing in the shower. You haven’t done that since before Mom and Dad died.”

“Really?”

“I mean, your taste is terrible. A Whole New World from Aladin, really?”

I chuckled. “Shut up. It’s catchy.”

“And you’ve been breaking out into smiles, gazing off into the distance and sighing like a princess mooning over her prince.”

I narrowed my eyes. “You’re making that last one up.”

“Maybe.” Eric hesitated. “But you haven’t smiled once today. So what happened?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe nothing. Life is busy, and Tristan just hasn’t had much time to talk to me.”

“His name is Tristan?”

“Yeah.” I briefly remembered that moment when I’d heard Matty call out the name Tristan at the pickup counter and entertained the fantasy that my Tristan had wandered into the shop and we’d meet by chance.

But my Tristan didn’t exist. He was just a dream. There was only some guy who’d chatted with me for a few weeks and clearly wasn’t interested in continuing.

And who could blame him? I’d basically told him I didn’t want a relationship offline. He’d seemed to accept it, but maybe he was tired of talking to a guy he’d never actually meet.

“So, what did Tristan do?” Eric mimed cracking his knuckles. “Do I need to go teach him a lesson?”

I laughed. “No, thanks, kid. I’m the big brother, in case you forgot.”

He shrugged. “Doesn’t mean you don’t need someone to look after you.”

I ruffled his hair. “You’re a good kid.”

Steam fogged the mirror as I finished shaving and patted my face dry. It had taken three tries to get Eric out of bed this morning—the kid was a night owl, no matter how many times I lectured him to go to sleep sooner—and we were running late.

I dressed in my work uniform of dark slacks and purple shirt with a coffee cup logo.

“Eric, did you get breakfast yet?” I called while tugging my shoes on.

“No!” he called back.

I groaned. “Well, there’s no time now.” I turned to gather my phone, wallet, and keys—and paused at the empty space on my nightstand.

I checked the bathroom, but my phone wasn’t in there. It wasn’t on my dresser or buried in my bed.

Eric came to the door. “What are you doing?”

“I’m looking for my phone. Have you—” I stopped short, spotting the phone in his hand. “Did you take it?”

His face screamed his guilt.

“Spill it,” I said. Then looked at the time and winced. “But tell me on the way. We have to go.”

“What about breakfast?”

“We’ll swing by Roasted and grab you a muffin.”

“Yes!”

I herded him toward the front door, thinking that he was way too excited by my parenting fail. I berated myself for getting distracted and letting him hit Snooze the last time I’d told him to get up.

We headed out to the car, and I cranked the heater even though it was only blowing out cold air. I didn’t bother making coffee at home since I had all I could want at work, but mornings like this made me yearn for something to warm my insides.

“Fuck, it’s cold,” Eric said.

“Watch your language,” I said.

“Brr, it’s cold,” he said, his tone sarcastic. “You keep forgetting I’m not two years old.”

“And you keep forgetting you’re not twenty,” I shot back.

He grumbled under his breath.

I suddenly remembered my phone going MIA. “So why did you have my phone earlier?” I asked as I merged into the street and started driving north.

“Promise you won’t get mad?”

“Nothing good ever comes after that statement.”

“Please?”

I shot him a sidelong glance. “I promise to listen and try to remain calm. How’s that?”

He sank a little lower in his seat and chewed his lower lip. That was definitely his guilty expression.

“I read some of your messages with SeattleLoner. I mean…Tristan.”

“What?” My hands tightened on the wheel. “That’s an invasion of privacy. Why would you do that?”

“I had to see how you’d left things before I messaged him!”

My voice dropped to a growl. “Eric. What do you mean you messaged him?”

“You were so bummed yesterday!” Eric said. “I just wanted to fix it.”

I shook my head. “It’s not for you to fix.”

“But it worked! Tristan really likes you, Zach.”

I scoffed. “Sure, that’s why he’s been blowing me off.”

“But when I messaged, he said—”

“Eric,” I cut in. “He’s not going to tell my little brother why he’s not talking to me, and I don’t blame him. He shouldn’t have to explain himself to you.”

“Will you just listen?” Eric sounded as frustrated as I felt. “Please?”

I huffed a breath and reached for my last thread of patience. “Fine. I’m listening.”

“I talked to him, and I really think he wants to meet you.”

“That’s not the message I’m getting.”

“Because he thinks you’re not interested,” Eric said. “But if you just go meet him, he’s totally willing. I had this great idea too. The Space Needle is having this romantic rendezvous event for Valentine’s Day.”

“Valentine’s Day? Are you nuts, bro? Tristan does not want to meet some guy for the first time on the most romantic day of the year.”

“I think he does.”

“Well, you’re wrong.” I took the next right and pulled up at Roasted.

“No, you’re wrong. You’re just afraid of taking a chance.”

I sighed, annoyed, frustrated, and damn it, a little taken aback because my brother was too insightful for age twelve.

I handed him a five-dollar bill. “Go get that muffin. We’re going to be late.”

“Just think about it?”

I wanted to reject the notion out of hand, but Eric was oddly invested in this relationship.

“I’ll think about it,” I said reluctantly. “But I make no promises.”

Eric smiled brightly. “Good enough!”

I didn’t know why Eric cared so much, but I was worried it would hurt him if things didn’t work out. If anything, his behavior made me think it would be best to let Tristan pull away.

Better to get out before anyone gets hurt.

Especially my kid brother.

CHAPTER 8

TRISTAN

Z-Man22:

We should meet.

SeattleLoner:

Really?

Z-Man22:

Yeah. It’s Valentine’s Day. That’s romantic.

SeattleLoner:

But what changed? I thought you weren’t ready to date for real.

Z-Man22:

You’re worth it. If you feel something for me, then meet me at the top of the Space Needle in an hour.

SeattleLoner:

Wow. That’s fast. Are you sure?

SeattleLoner:

Zach? You there?

SeattleLoner:

Okay, then. I guess I’ll talk to you later.

“Tristan? Earth to Tristan?”

I tore my gaze from the message on my phone to look at my pity dates across the table. Was there anything worse than being a third wheel on Valentine’s Day? I’d tried to resist, but Levi and Celeste had insisted I come along for dinner and drinks.

Maybe they were still in denial and my presence meant they could say it wasn’t a real date. But I knew better, and deep down, so did they.

All around us, happy couples were sitting close and nuzzling noses, and Celeste and Levi kept exchanging warm, affectionate glances that told me they wouldn’t remain single much longer, either.

Maybe I could have that with Zach…

His invitation was tempting. His little brother had messaged me a couple of days ago and given me the third degree about why I was blowing off Zach. I’d tried to be honest but discreet about the fact that we were friends online, but Zach didn’t want more than that.

His brother must have said something that changed Zach’s mind, but I wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. If he was meeting me only to please his brother, then there was no point, was there? It wasn’t as if our eyes would lock and it’d be love at first sight. This was real life, not a fairytale.

Celeste dipped her fingers into her sangria and flicked liquid at me. “What’s up with you?”

“Sorry. Distracted.” I flipped my phone over so the screen was hidden.

She raised an eyebrow. “Get a better offer?”

I hesitated, and she grinned, eyes brightening. “You did!”

“Who is it?” Levi asked. “And don’t say Malcolm.”

“Or any other ex,” Celeste agreed. “You’re better than that.”

“He’s not an ex, exactly,” I hedged. “You remember the guy from SeattleLife? His little brother posted about how he wanted him to have love.”

“How could I forget?” Celeste said. “You were mooning over his messages for days.” She frowned. “Didn’t you say it fizzled out?”

“Well…”

“Spill it,” Levi said between bites of his blackened chicken linguini. The man had an appetite that couldn’t be deterred. “What aren’t you saying?”

I nibbled my bottom lip, torn.

Celeste laid a hand on my arm, her violet nails sparkling under the overhead lights. “You’ll feel better if you talk it out at least.”

“I sort of ghosted him.”

She gaped. “What? Why?”

“Remember that client meeting last week? We stopped at Roasted on the way there.”

“Yeah, so?”

“He was one of the baristas. I knew he worked at a coffee shop, just not which one. I saw his nametag, and I heard someone mention his brother, so…yeah. It was him.”

Her eyes widened. “No kidding? Was he rude or something?”

“No, he was friendly and charming to everyone.”

She scrunched up her face, looking as if she was trying to solve mathematical equations. “I can’t remember what he looked like. Was he, like, old or unfortunate looking?”

“No.” I sighed. “He was really cute.”

“Was he catfishing you somehow?”

“No,” I said slowly.

Levi snorted with amusement. Celeste threw up her hands. “Then why would you ghost a cute, charming guy, Tristan? I don’t get it!”

“Because he was too cute and charming!”

Both my friends stared at me as if I’d lost my mind. Maybe I had.

I tried to wrangle my thoughts into something that would make sense to them.

“Zach kept telling me he didn’t want to date anyone, and I guess part of me thought he’d change his mind. But that day at the coffee shop, I saw just how cute he was. A super-hot customer hit on him and he shot him down.”

“Maybe because he was into you,” Celeste said.

“I don’t think so.”

“Are you sure?”

Was I? Zach had told me upfront he wasn’t ready to date someone. That he was focused on raising his brother. I figured he’d shot down the hot guy at Roasted for the same reason. I didn’t think I could compete if not even that guy could turn his head.

But we did form a connection through our messages. He did reach out several times, even as I became less responsive.

“Am I a total idiot?” I mused.

“Probably,” Levi said.

“Don’t worry, honey,” Celeste added. “All men are.”

Levi huffed. “Thanks.”

Celeste kissed his cheek playfully. Those two really needed to get over this will-they/won’t-they act and see what was right in front of their faces.

“So, Zach texted you?” Celeste prompted.

“He asked me to meet him at the Space Needle. There’s some sort of romantic rendezvous point there for Valentine’s.”

“Then what are you waiting for? Go!”

“I don’t know. Valentine’s Day is a lot of pressure, don’t you think? I kinda thought our first meeting would be a little less…”

“Swoony?” Celeste asked.

“Like a cheesy rom-com?” Levi added.

“Yes and yes,” I said.

“Tristan, if you don’t take this chance, how will you feel tomorrow?”

“Like an idiot,” I admitted. “But what if it goes all wrong? What if we don’t click, or it’s awkward, or…”

“Failing is better than regretting you didn’t try,” Levi said.

“Oh yeah?” I challenged. “What about you two? Are you going to try?”

They exchanged a glance.

“Uhh…” Levi said.

“I don’t know what he’s talking about,” Celeste added with a nervous laugh.

“Yeah, he’s clearly seeing things,” Levi said.

“Totally,” Celeste said.

I sighed, resigned that denial would continue. But then a miraculous thing happened.

Levi cleared his throat and shifted toward Celeste. “Actually, though…”

Celeste tilted her head. “Actually?”

“Tristan is right,” Levi said. “I’ve wanted to ask you out for ages. I know we work together, and maybe it’d end in disaster, but I’ve never met anyone who just felt so right, and—”

Celeste interrupted his babble with a kiss.

That was when I knew what I had to do.

If Levi could break out of his comfort zone and risk rejection for love, then I could too.

I jumped out of my seat, tossed a few dollar bills on the table, and raced for the exit. It was going to be close. I had to make it across town with not a lot of time to spare.

Levi and Celeste came up for air long enough for her to call out, “Go get your man!”

If there was any chance at all that Zach could be my man, I intended to do just that.

My palms were sweaty, my stomach knotted with nerves. I was scared as hell that I would be disappointed once again. But if there was even the slimmest chance, I had to take it.

Every other relationship had been forced. I’d tried to make love happen with Malcolm. I’d tried so damn hard to click with Adrien.

With Zach, we had a screen between us, and it still felt real.

That was worth a risk. It had to be.

For once, I wasn’t chasing an abstract idea. It wasn’t love or romance I was after. It was Zach.

His jokes, his sincerity, his love for his brother.

I wanted to know him. Wanted to be in his life.

Even if we ended up only as friends, it suddenly felt vitally important that I not let things end without meeting him halfway.

Okay, Zach. Here I come. Ready or not…

CHAPTER 9

ZACH

“Eric, did you finish your homework?” I called from the kitchen. I’d been packing up leftovers and gotten sidetracked by a desperate need to clean out the refrigerator. I could no longer tolerate the old takeout, leftovers we’d never eaten, and sticky residue from a leaking bottle of ketchup.

Or perhaps I was distracting myself so that I wouldn’t think about Tristan.

It didn’t help that it was Valentine’s Day. I wasn’t a romance movie fan for nothing. There was a part of me that longed for flowers and candy—all that silly, commercial nonsense that was really just a marketing ploy.

Or maybe I just craved a sign that someone cared about me.

I shook off the melancholy thought, realizing I hadn’t heard anything from Eric. I’d given him a pass on dishes so he could finish his math homework.

“Eric?” I called again, leaving the kitchen.

The dining room where he usually set up to work was empty. So was the living room. I poked my head into his bedroom. “Er…”

He wasn’t there.

My heart jumped into my throat. Where the heck was he? I reached for my phone, only to discover it wasn’t in my pocket.

“Damn it.”

I rushed back to the kitchen, snatching it off the counter. I started to navigate to Eric’s number when I saw a new text alert from Tristan.

Well, that would have to wait.

I hit Call, and the phone rang three times.

“Come on, come on,” I muttered.

Just when I thought it’d go unanswered, Eric picked up. “Don’t be mad.”

“Too late for that,” I said, my voice tight. “Where are you?”

“I told Tristan you’d meet him at the Space Needle.”

I blinked. “You what?”

“I knew you wouldn’t go,” Eric said, “so I’m headed there now. I’ll make sure he’s cool, and then you won’t have to be afraid to meet him, and he won’t blow you off, and you can be happy like before.”

“Eric.” My tightening throat strangled my voice. “Please tell me you didn’t think it was a good idea to meet a stranger off the Internet by yourself.”

“He’s not a stranger!” Eric sounded defensive now. “He’s SeattleLoner. He’s Tristan. He’s—”

“Someone you don’t know.”

I whirled in a circle, scanning the room for my wallet and keys. “How are you even getting to the Space Needle?”

The observation tower that drew tourists for its views over Puget Sound, Mount Rainier, and the city skyline wasn’t exactly in our neighborhood.

“I took the bus.” The rumbling of the bus motor confirmed his words.

For a second, I almost regretted teaching my brother how to use the city’s transit system. It was only meant as a failsafe in case he ever ended up stranded or lost, but he was too damn independent.

“When you get to the Needle, you stay put and wait for me, do you hear me?”

“You’re coming to meet him?” he asked, hope blooming in his voice.

“I’m coming to take you home.”

“But Zach—”

“Do not talk to anyone, you hear me? Wait for me!”

I raced out of the house and got into the car. I had to take a few deep breaths to calm myself. This was the most epic parent fail ever. Not only had I not noticed my kid brother sneaking out of the house or using my phone to text a man he didn’t really know, but I’d somehow convinced him that he needed to do this to make me happy.

That he wasn’t enough to make me happy.

Which of course he was.

“Just let him be okay,” I muttered as I drove through Seattle streets, cursing how long it took to get to my destination. Minutes felt like hours, but eventually the Space Needle was in sight.

I was an anxious wreck by the time I parked and made my way to the entrance. The weather was actually decent after days of steady drizzle, and the place was a madhouse. People were lined up at the ticket counters, chattering in small groups, and I spun in a circle, hoping to catch sight of Eric.

I pulled out my phone to call him, then heard his voice.

“Zach!”

I turned and Eric launched into me, wrapping his arms tight around my middle. “I’m sorry!”

I squeezed him just as tightly, feeling my heart settle for the first time since I’d realized he was missing from the house. “You scared the crap out of me! Never do that again.”

“I won’t.” He looked up at me with teary eyes. “There’s so many people here, and it’s really confusing where to go, and I don’t even think he came.” He drew a shaky breath. “I really thought he’d be here.”

My heart sank. Eric’s disappointment was heartbreaking, but I couldn’t deny that part of me had also been hoping to see Tristan.

“Maybe he’s afraid too,” I said, squeezing Eric’s shoulder.

“I didn’t know grownups were such scaredy cats,” he joked.

“Hey.” I laughed. “Being an adult is scarier than you think.”

He frowned, his lower lip sticking out in a pout. “I think I know what you mean.”

I hated to see him suffering his first heartache, especially on my account, but it was far from the worst outcome. He could have gotten lost, run into someone who wanted to take advantage of him, or even met Tristan and discovered he wasn’t at all who he said he was.

Instead—

“Zach?” A nervous voice sounded behind me. “Eric?”

I turned, and it felt as if the world had shifted into slow-motion. I registered tousled brown hair first, then his lanky build, the crooked smile that sent a little zing through me.

But it was his eyes that captured me. The moment I met those wide, hazel, cautious eyes, I felt the connection instantly.

As if we weren’t two strangers at all.

As if all those conversations we’d had somehow transcended the screen between us.

“Tristan,” I said softly. Not a question, but a statement. I knew in that moment it was him. “You came.”

“Ready or not,” he said with a chuckle. “I sure did.”

“See?” Eric said, sounding smug. “I knew you guys just needed a push.”

I looked down at him. “You’re still grounded when we get home.”

“Really? But Zach—”

“Listen to your brother,” Tristan said. “I don’t know what happened, but I’m sure he’s right.”

I smiled, and Eric huffed. “Maybe a boyfriend was a bad idea.”

My cheeks heated. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, okay? Tristan and I are meeting for the first time.”

My eyes returned to his, my gaze drawn to him, my heart fluttering.

Despite my reservations, of which there were still plenty, I already knew it wouldn’t be the last time we met. Eric had gone about it all wrong, but in the end, he’d been right.

I’d been afraid, and seeing Tristan made me realize how strong my feelings had grown for him.

CHAPTER 10

TRISTAN

Zach was just as cute as I remembered. His red hair shone underneath the security lights, his freckles danced across lightly blushing cheeks, and I could not look away from his blue-green eyes.

The air thickened between us, and I struggled to breathe as my heart raced ahead. I’d convinced myself that I’d imagined the connection between us. That I’d see him and feel nothing. But I was wrong.

If there was such a thing as love at first sight, this was it.

“Will you have dinner with me?” I blurted.

“Um.” Zach glanced toward his brother uncertainly.

“Both of you, I mean. I’d like to get to know Eric too.”

Zach seemed to relax the moment I included Eric. I hadn’t realized how tense he was until then. “That’s sweet, but we’ve eaten already.”

I nodded. “Okay, yeah. I guess it’s kind of late.”

There was a pause that stretched out between us, growing more awkward by the second. Eric glanced between us, lips pursed.

“We could go for ice cream,” Eric suggested hopefully.

Zach hesitated. “We could…”

“Unless you don’t want to,” I said, heart sinking.

If this really was love—or the potential for it—this shouldn’t be so awkward, should it?

“No, I want to go,” Zach said quickly.

“Hell yeah!” Eric yelled, punching the air with a big grin.

“Watch your language.”

Eric rolled his eyes. “Heck yeah.”

I laughed, relief making me giddy. For a second there, I’d thought maybe I had imagined the electric charge between us.

“So, ice cream. Okay, then. I noticed a place a few blocks away on my Uber ride here. We could walk?”

Zach offered a shy grin. “Sure, let’s do that.”

We fell into step beside each other, with Eric just behind. I hadn’t really planned for that arrangement, so the kid had probably outmaneuvered us again.

“So, your brother is a matchmaker, huh?” I said.

“Apparently.”

“Is that, uh…the only reason you met me tonight?”

Zach glanced sidelong at me. “I want to be honest with you.”

“Uh-oh.”

He brushed his hand along my arm, sending tingles racing across my skin.

“No, it’s not bad. At least, I don’t think so.”

“Okay…”

“Eric sent the invitation to you.”

I stopped so abruptly Eric nearly ran into me from behind. Zach carried on another step, then pivoted to face me. He looked nervous, rocking on his feet, his gaze slightly to the right as if he couldn’t quite meet my eyes.

“I was just trying to help,” Eric said in a small voice.

“He sent the invitation because he knew I was afraid to take the next step,” Zach added, his eyes meeting mine again. “But I’m glad we’re here. I really am.”

He seemed sincere, and Eric looked suitably chastened for his lie, so I nodded. “Yeah, me too.”

We resumed walking and reached the ice cream parlor a few minutes later.

It was a cold night, but that didn’t dim Eric’s enthusiasm for ice cream. He raced to the counter, exclaiming over flavors.

“I hate that he ever made that post,” Zach said. “He shouldn’t worry about me. But I’m glad I met you.”

I tentatively brushed my fingers against his, and he caught and held my hand. My heart quickened, and I felt a little like a middle school boy at his first dance. Why was holding hands with Zach so much more exhilarating than sleeping with my last boyfriend?

“I’m glad we could do this,” I said. “Even if it took Eric playing matchmaker.”

Zach glanced over at his brother, an affectionate smile on his face. “I should ground his butt for a month for going behind my back with you, but I’ll probably only make it a day or two.”

“It seems like his heart was in the right place,” I said.

“Yeah.” Zach turned back to me, and the full impact of his gaze made my heart skitter nervously. “Eric said you stopped talking to me because you wanted more than an online relationship. Is that the real reason?”

His directness caught me off-guard, and I shifted nervously. “Kind of. I mean, that probably makes me sound impatient…or needy.” I cringed. “It’s just that when I saw you at Roasted—”

“Wait, what?”

“I, uh, stopped in at Roasted one day. I wasn’t stalking you or anything. It was just chance.”

Zach’s eyes widened, then narrowed on me. “I thought there was something familiar about you.”

“We didn’t speak, but I saw you and realized you could have anyone, so why would you want me? I was afraid I was fooling myself about everything, that I was imagining our connection. I haven’t had the best track record with dating.”

Zach looked shocked. “There’s so much wrong with that sentence.”

“Like what?”

He scoffed. “I can’t have anyone I want. I’m just a socially awkward geek.”

“You don’t seem socially awkward to me.”

“Well, that’s just because we’re not in high school anymore.”

I raised an eyebrow, then trailed my gaze up and down him, giving him the sort of look I might if we’d met in a club. “True. We’re not.”

Zach blushed and darted a quick look at his brother. I was pretty sure Eric was trying every flavor on the board to give us a few minutes alone, and I appreciated the kid’s none too subtle approach.

It meant I could take a step closer. Close enough I could feel Zach’s body warmth. Close enough I could brush my thumb over one of his hot cheeks.

“You’re incredibly cute,” I murmured in a voice only he could hear.

His lips parted, practically a plea to be kissed. But Zach wouldn’t appreciate me making a move in front of his brother, so I resisted.

“W-well,” Zach stuttered out, and maybe he was more socially awkward than I thought. “You’re really, um…charming, so why wouldn’t I want you?”

I chuckled. “Oh, charming. I’m not your type at all, am I?”

His eyes widened. “What? No. You’re really, ah, hot?”

“Is that a question?”

“You’re hot,” he said, sounding more confident now, eyes sparking with frustration and maybe a little something else too. “Really freaking hot.”

“Well, that’s better.”

“Yeah.” He poked me in the chest. “So I reject your logic. Why wouldn’t I want to date you?”

I trapped his hand against my heart, holding it in place.

“That is what you kept telling me,” I pointed out.

Zach leaned in closer to me, gaze locked on mine. “I did? I don’t remember…”

“Yeah. Because of your brother?”

Zach blinked, then jerked his head to check that Eric was still at the counter.

“Right. My brother. Yeah. I’m responsible for him, and it doesn’t leave much time for a personal life.” He glanced back at me, regret in his eyes. “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.”

He stepped away, but I kept hold of his hand, hoping he’d at least hear me out before running.

“Zach, I get that you’re a package deal. Eric comes first for you.”

“He does.” Zach nodded. “He has to. I’m all he has.”

“And he’s all you have,” I added.

Zach seemed surprised by my comment, but his face softened. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“I’m not looking to get in the way of that,” I said. “But…I think there’s something here. Something real.”

He chewed his bottom lip, looking torn. “I don’t know how this would work.”

“So let’s figure it out,” I said. “We don’t need all the answers right now.”

“Where do we start?”

“How about with some ice cream?” I suggested. “And then maybe I can take you both out for dinner on Saturday?”

“You want to take me and my brother on a date?” Zach said, sounding dubious.

“If that’s what it takes.”

For a second, I thought he’d brush me off again, but then a wide smile bloomed across his face. “All right. If you’re sure you know what you’re getting into…”

“I’m sure,” I said.

The truth was, I didn’t have the faintest clue. I only knew Zach would be worth it.

We may have met for the first time tonight, but I already felt comfortable with him. Confident.

There was a chemistry between us that had been lacking in my former relationships. A sense of possibility.

And that, more than anything, made me determined to see this through.

CHAPTER 11

ZACH

SeattleLoner:

I’ll pick you and Eric up at six. Does that work?

Z-man22:

Sure. Where are we going?

SeattleLoner:

It’s a surprise.

Z-man 22:

You can’t just tell me?

SeattleLoner:

Nope! You’ll just have to trust me.

“Tell me about the moment you first saw him again.”

Becca’s smile was as sappy as when the credits rolled at the end of a romantic movie.

“I already told you,” I muttered, cheeks heating, aware of Austin’s smirk and Jordan’s raised eyebrow, but especially the presence of Jordan’s new friend from college, Ellis Woods.

“It sounds totally epic,” Ellis said without a hint of sarcasm. He seemed like a sweet golden retriever, but with way bigger muscles. “Like a romance movie.”

“Sleepless in Seattle,” Becca said with a head nod. “Just like it.”

I scoffed. “Yeah, except I’m not a widowed father.”

“Just an orphaned brother,” Jordan said. “Totally different.”

Ellis’s eyes widened, and Becca shook her head. “Tact, Jordan. We’ve talked about this.”

He hung his head. “Sorry.”

Jordan did tend to be my bluntest friend, but I could always count on his honesty.

“It’s okay. It was kind of like a movie,” I admitted. “When our eyes met, I just knew it was him. I felt it.”

Becca sighed dreamily. “I can’t wait to meet him.”

“I feel like I’m gonna puke,” I said with a groan.

Tristan was on his way to pick me and Eric up for our first date, and my friends were going to ambush the poor guy.

“Why are you so nervous?” Austin asked in between bites of Cool Ranch Doritos. “You already met him, and he wasn’t hideous or a serial killer.”

“Because those are the only two factors that matter,” Jordan said dryly.

I jabbed a finger at Austin. “You’re buying me more of those if you eat them all.”

Was I trying to change the subject? Yes.

My friends meant well, but they were only winding me up more than I already was. I could have kicked them out, but they were so invested it seemed cruel.

Besides, maybe they’ll scare him away, and then you won’t have to go at all.

My heart did a weird skip-and-sink that seemed to be half worry, half relief.

Going out with Tristan was scary. It was a big step, and it could end badly. But…

I liked him. A lot.

He was easy to talk to, which I’d known from all the texting. There was an ease to him, like he was just the guy next door that you might pass a dozen times with a distracted wave and not think twice about. But when he stood close, when his eyes locked on mine, when his voice dropped tantalizingly low as he teased me with his words…

I fanned my hot face at the memory of how confidently he’d flirted with me. The man was sexy. No doubt about it. And I…was an inexperienced virgin.

Bringing his kid brother along on a date.

This was going to be a disaster, wasn’t it?

“Stop spinning out.” Becca grabbed my shoulders. “Are you sure you don’t want me to take Eric with me when I go sit with my grandmother?”

“No, that’s your time with her.”

“We could take him to the movies with us?” Ellis offered because he was clearly the biggest sweetheart ever.

“Or Austin could stay here with him,” Jordan said pointedly.

I wondered if Jordan wanted to be alone with Ellis. I’d never seen him with a date, but I assumed it was because he had a truly scary workload at school. He was trying to graduate in two years instead of four and…yeah, he was a major overachiever who didn’t have time for guys.

But Ellis was easy on the eyes.

“Nah,” Austin said without missing a beat. “I’m a bad influence, and Zach already knows that.”

Kind of true. He’d probably let Eric watch X-rated movies and tell him all about his pothead days. I didn’t need those ideas in my little brother’s head.

“I want Eric to come along.”

My friends all looked at me like I was crazy, but I was pretty sure Tristan understood.

“If he’s going to be in my life, then he’s going to be in Eric’s life. I need to know he’s actually ready for that.”

“That’s a lot of pressure for a first date,” Austin said.

“I know, but we’ve been texting for weeks, and he already knows Eric. It’s not really a first date.”

“Yeah, not until you give the poor guy a chance to be alone with you,” Austin said. “Then it’ll be a date.”

He bounced his eyebrows suggestively just as a knock sounded on the door.

Despite my nerves, I rushed to open it. Anything to escape my friends’ grilling.

Tristan stood on my porch, looking even better than the first time I’d seen him. His hair was still messy, but intentionally styled this time, and his smile seemed to convey a promise that hadn’t been there before.

“Hey, Zach. You look great.”

His gaze skated down my body, taking in the clingy long-sleeved emerald-green shirt and tight jeans that Becca had helped me pick out.

“Thanks. You too.”

Tristan looked effortlessly sexy in a burgundy T-shirt with leather jacket overtop. Like a guy who went on dates regularly and knew how to handle them without a whole entourage of friends to advise him.

I was totally out of my depth.

“Can I come in, or…”

Heat rushed to my face. “Oh, sorry. I should warn you—”

Austin’s hand landed on my shoulder as he peered over it to look at Tristan. “Aw, Zach, he’s a total catch. Nice job.”

Jordan and Becca crowded up behind him, all craning for a look.

“Uh, hi?” Tristan said. “Did I mix up the dates or something?”

“No. They’re here because they’re nosy and they live to embarrass me.”

“Not true,” Austin said. “Your embarrassment is just a fun bonus.”

I half turned and shoved him. “Go get Eric, and the rest of you back up so Tristan can come in and meet you properly.” I glanced sidelong at him. “Not that they know anything about being proper.”

His lips quirked. “I’ve got a few nosy friends of my own.”

“Will they be ambushing our date?”

“Uh, no. I don’t think so.”

“Then you’re one up on me.” I reached for his hand, conscious of Becca’s eagle eyes on me as I led him inside.

Eric emerged from his bedroom while I made the introductions, looking sulky because I’d refused to let him stay home alone. I wasn’t sure if he was more annoyed that he couldn’t play videogames all night or that I wouldn’t be alone with Tristan.

He was determined in his matchmaking efforts.

Tristan handled the ambush pretty well, considering. When Ellis gave him a dazzling smile, I tightened my grip on his hand and stood a little closer.

Tristan gave me a knowing look that seared through me. A look that said he wasn’t interested in anyone but me.

“We should get going if you’re ready,” he said.

“Yeah, let’s do that,” I said, eager to get Tristan away from the hunky Ellis and the prying eyes of the rest of my friends. “Eric, ready to go?”

“Yeah,” he said. “But I’d be totally fine here.”

Tristan put a hand to his chest. “Do you not want to hang out with me? Harsh, man.”

Eric grudgingly smiled. “Nah, you’re cool, I guess.”

Tristan chuckled. “That’s a relief.”

I swept my free arm toward the door, as if I were herding a bunch of aimless sheep, which wasn’t too far from the truth. “Okay, all of you out. You’ve seen Tristan, and you know now there’s a guy capable of getting me to leave the house. Show’s over.”

Tristan laughed quietly as my friends filed out the door ahead of us. “I’m not really the first guy to…” He trailed off. “Nevermind. Dumb question.”

“Does it bother you?” I asked hesitantly, wondering if he’d draw the right conclusions about how very inexperienced I was in everything dating-related. I hadn’t had the best high school experience, and the couple of flirtations I’d had in college had fizzled before they could go anywhere.

“No,” Tristan said, though he seemed more nervous than he’d been when facing down all my friends. “I hope I’m worth it.”

I squeezed his hand. “Pretty sure I wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

“Good.” He bent his head to say quietly in my ear, “I’m really glad you’re going out with me.”

A little shiver of anticipation went through me.

Then Tristan got even more attractive by glancing over his shoulder and sounding one hundred percent sincere as he added, “You too, Eric. I’m glad we can hang out.”

Austin was right. Tristan seemed to be a heck of a catch.

Now, we’d have to see if I could manage to keep him and give Eric everything he needed, too.

CHAPTER 12

TRISTAN

“You didn’t have to do this, you know,” Zach said.

“What? Not your idea of a romantic first date?”

Around us, arcade games dinged, lights flashed, and the smell of greasy pizza and popcorn perfumed the darkened space.

To my relief, Zach grinned. “No, it’s great. Eric loves it. I just… I doubt it’s your idea of romance.”

I took a step closer, leaning in so he could hear me better. “It has its perks.”

Goosebumps spread over Zach’s neck as my breath caressed his skin. Damn, I loved how he responded to me. With a lot of my relationships, I was the average, ordinary guy. But Zach made me feel different. Like I could be assertive and confident.

Even seductive.

It had been a gamble, choosing a spot like this for our date. I knew Zach would either love it because it catered to his brother’s interest or hate it because it was about as far from candlelit dinner as you could get.

Celeste thought I’d lost my damn mind when I suggested it to her, but Levi had called me a genius. “You’re dating a guy, not a high-maintenance woman.”

“Hey!” Celeste smacked his arm. “You’re on thin ice, buddy.”

I laughed at her empty threat. Levi was completely smitten with Celeste. The two had been inseparable since Valentine’s night. “Please, he loves your high-maintenance ways.”

“I do,” he agreed, raising her hand and pressing a kiss to the top of one carefully manicured and painted fingernail.

“I suppose going to the arcade would show you’re thinking about his younger brother,” she said, mollified.

“And it’s casual, so there’s less pressure on the date,” Levi added.

“That would be good.”

It already felt as if there were a mountain’s worth of pressure on getting this right. Zach had reservations because of his role in his brother’s life, but unlike most first dates, I already knew I wanted a second date with Zach.

And a third.

Maybe even all his dates.

“Plus, it’s dark,” Levi had said, waggling his eyebrows.

At the time, I’d scoffed and told him he was bonkers if he thought I was going to make a move on Zach in front of his brother. But we hadn’t seen Eric in a while, and Zach was looking adorable as he attempted to shoot basketballs—and missed every time.

“Can I help you with that?” I asked, stepping up behind him.

When he nodded, I reached around his body to gently raise his arms a little higher as he prepared for another shot.

Zach’s breath sped up as our bodies came into contact.

“Is this okay?” I murmured into his ear.

“Mm-hmm.” He sank back against me, warming my chest and reassuring me he was enjoying the closeness as much as I was. “Now what?”

“Eyes on the basket. Bend this arm just slightly.” I guided his movements as I spoke. “Now, when I let go, you just shoot.”

“You have to let go?” He tensed. “Uh, I didn’t mean…”

I laughed quietly, dipping my lips to brush them against the side of his neck. “Don’t take it back. I love holding on to you.”

Zach shivered, and I reluctantly stepped away.

“Okay, now just relax and shoot.”

Just as Zach released the ball, Eric ran up. “Hey!”

Zach startled, and the shot went wild, missing the hoop once again.

He groaned and raised his hands to blushing cheeks. “All that coaching for nothing.”

I grinned and winked. “I’ll just have to help you again.”

Eric looked between us. “You just aim for the basket. It’s not that hard.”

Ah, the obliviousness of youth.

“What’s up, Eric?” I asked. “Did you want to shoot some baskets?”

“I’m out of money.” He turned beseeching eyes to Zach.

“Already?” Zach shook his head. “Dude, I told you to take your time and not play the stupid games that burn through your cash.”

Eric huffed. “I tried to do that.”

“Here.” I held out my gaming card. “You can play the rest of mine.”

“Really? Thanks!”

He took off again, and Zach shook his head as he watched him go.

“You didn’t have to do that. He needs to learn to be more responsible with the money he has.”

I shrugged. “I’m sure you’re right, but I don’t mind. I invited you both to this date.”

“Still, I don’t want you going broke just so you can spend a few minutes alone with me.”

He clapped a hand over his mouth, eyes wide and embarrassed.

I smirked. “I guess you’ve got my number.”

“No, that was so presumptuous.”

“But true.” I smiled slowly as he swallowed hard. “After all, how else am I going to improve your shooting game?”

Zach glanced at the basketball hoop as if he’d forgotten it was even there.

“Right, that.”

I gestured for him to start another game and picked up a basketball, then moved in close behind him.

“I figured I’d save the first kiss for a better spot than a kids arcade,” I murmured.

He sucked in a breath. “Not a bad idea.”

“Maybe at the end of the night, when I take you home…”

Zach turned his head to glance at me, bringing our mouths close enough it was tempting to steal a kiss right then.

“I, uh, need to take this slow.”

My heart sank, and I stepped back, putting a little more space between us. “Sure. Of course.”

He chewed his bottom lip, looking worried. “I hope that’s okay?”

“Yeah!” I blurted, afraid I’d given him the idea I was an asshole. I didn’t mind waiting longer for a kiss, not if it made Zach more comfortable. “It’s totally okay. We can just say goodbye with an awkward wave instead,” I joked.

“Tristan.” He chuckled. “I didn’t mean—”

“Seriously, it’s fine. I don’t want to kiss you if you don’t want me to, so…”

“I want you to.”

“You don’t have to say that to make me feel better.”

He rolled his eyes and took a step forward, raising his hands to grab my face.

I blinked, caught off-guard, and then his lips were on mine, soft and warm, just a feathery brush of a kiss before he pulled back.

“You kissed me,” I said, shocked.

“Yeah.” He smiled nervously. “Sorry I didn’t wait for a more romantic location.”

“That’s okay,” I said, still reeling. “You can kiss me anywhere you want.”

“Is that a promise?”

“Hell yes. Anytime, anyplace.” I drew him back to me, pressing a more lingering kiss to his lips.

We were still in a kids arcade, so I couldn’t take the kiss as deep as I’d like. I reluctantly stepped back, a stupid smile on my face until I remembered what had led us to this moment.

“Wait? I thought you wanted to take it slow?”

“I do,” Zach said. “A kiss is fine. I just didn’t want you to expect something more at the end of the night.”

“On a first date?” I widened my eyes playfully. “What kind of guy do you think I am?”

“A good one,” he said simply.

“I try.” I reached for his hand, tangling our fingers. “I think you’ve got me outdone.”

“You don’t know that,” he said. “Maybe I hog all the blankets.”

“Something to look forward to.” I squeezed his fingers. “After we’re done taking it slow.”

“I might eat all the good snacks in the house.”

“Rude, but I guess I could stand to snack a little less.” I patted my soft stomach.

Zach scoffed. “Maybe I never replace the toilet paper on the roll.”

“You monster,” I gasped. “Now I’m the one who needs to take it slow. No bathroom breaks at your place for at least a month. I need to make sure I’m invested enough it doesn’t send me running.”

Zach laughed and shoved me toward the next game. “Okay, funny guy. I can see that you’re determined to see this dating thing through.”

I caught his eye. “I am, you know.”

He smiled shyly. “Good. I think I am too.”

CHAPTER 13

ZACH

“Can I be done?” Eric asked over dinner, gaze flicking from me to Tristan. “You two can finish up alone, right?”

I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. “Are you ever going to stop playing matchmaker?”

Eric shrugged. “Maybe when you stop taking me along on all your dates.”

So far, Tristan had taken us on three dates—the first at the arcade; then dinner and a movie a week later; and two days ago, we’d attempted to do ax throwing. It turned out, none of us were lumberjacks, but I couldn’t remember laughing so much.

What Eric didn’t understand was that I didn’t need solo dates to know I liked Tristan. I needed these outings with my brother, though. Needed to see that I wasn’t putting Tristan ahead of Eric, that I could be there for my brother while taking these first tentative steps into the unknown.

“Go on then,” I told Eric. “But you’re studying for math as soon as Tristan leaves.”

“I can study on my own!” he called on his way down the hall.

“Nice try!” I turned to Tristan and added dryly, “He’s usually not that motivated.”

Tristan’s smile tipped up more on one side than the other, just a smidge crooked, which somehow made it more attractive. “I can’t complain about his matchmaking. He’s making my job easier.”

“Your job isn’t that hard.”

“It’s not? Feels pretty hard right now.” He winked as my face flamed at the sexual innuendo in his voice.

I hopped up to clear the dishes. “I should clean up.”

“I’ll help.”

“No, you’re a guest. Just…” I put a hand to his chest and pushed him back into his seat. “Relax.”

Tristan looked up at me with eyes that made promises. Sexy, hot promises that did nothing to cool my blushing cheeks. Promises that I’d imagined playing out more than once in the privacy of my bedroom.

But not with Eric in the next room.

I picked up the plates with the remnants of the chicken enchiladas I’d thrown together and headed for the kitchen. Tristan didn’t stay put, instead following me into the kitchen with our drink glasses in his hand.

“Where do you want these?”

“Just sit them on the counter.” I pulled open the dishwasher and began loading dishes without meeting his eye. “Sorry, but I can’t leave this or I’ll just be waking up at 2 a.m. thinking about how I should have cleaned up.”

“I don’t mind.” His voice dropped a little. “The view is pretty good from here.”

I straightened up so quickly my head spun and I swayed right into his arms.

Tristan laughed. “Do you know how much I love that I fluster you?”

“No,” I mumbled. “Can’t say I love it.”

“Well, it’s adorable.” He cupped my face. “No one has ever made me feel so…”

“So what?” I asked, uncomfortably aware I was behaving like a blushing virgin.

“Desirable.”

That surprised a small laugh out of me. “I’ve practically been running away from you ever since dinner ended.”

He grinned. “I know. You don’t trust yourself with me.”

“I guess that’s true,” I murmured.

“But I know we’re taking it slow.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “You can trust me.”

Just like that, my shyness evaporated, and I yanked his head down to crash our lips together. He pressed me against the counter, tongue dipping in to meet mine, a quiet groan vibrating his chest and escaping between our mouths.

I could feel just how hard he was as the kiss went on and on, my cock responding by throbbing with a desire for more. I wanted to push him to his knees or drop to mine. Something, anything, to relieve the ache.

Tristan pulled back, eyes searching mine. “We should probably stop.”

I groaned, my arms still around his neck. “Do we have to?”

“If you want slow, we do.” He traced my lips with one finger. “When you’re ready for fast, nothing will hold me back.”

“Promise?” I whispered.

“I do.” He grazed his lips over my cheek, then across my jaw to my neck. Tingles raced through me with each featherlight tease of his mouth. “I’m patient but eager.”

“Mm.” I tilted my head. “I feel some of that eagerness.”

He chuckled, his breath raising goosebumps, before he finally pulled away and put space between us. “I should go before I break your trust in me.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning?” I asked hopefully.

Tristan had taken to stopping by Roasted before work each morning. I was too busy to talk, but just seeing his smile lifted my mood for the rest of the day. My employees loved his visits too, joking that a happy boss meant a happy life.

“Of course,” he said. “Where else would I get my morning buzz?”

“This is Seattle. You can get your coffee a lot of places.”

“I wasn’t talking about the coffee.”

My shyness returned, making me duck my head. The urge to blush and hide was infuriating, especially when the other half of the time I wanted to rip his clothes off and lick him all over. If Tristan hadn’t already guessed I was a virgin, he probably knew it now.

Eric barged into the kitchen just then, startling us.

“Okay, I need help. I just don’t get this elimination equation thing!”

His voice was filled with frustration. Tristan glanced at me. “I could stay and help?”

“Thanks, but I’ve got it.” I turned to Eric. “Go set up at the table, and I’ll be there to help.”

He scowled. “I hate math so much.”

I tousled his hair. “It runs in the family, kiddo.”

Tristan watched him stomp off, a bemused expression on his face. “I guess I should head out.”

His eyes met mine, and the air grew taut with sexual tension. Of the things that might have happened if he didn’t leave. Of the things that might have happened if Eric hadn’t interrupted.

But I was grateful he did. I had to keep perspective. Eric’s needs came first. He needed a substitute parent, not a lovesick brother preoccupied with getting laid.

CHAPTER 14

TRISTAN

Z-man22:

Eric has a sleepover with a friend on Friday.

SeattleLoner:

So, reservation for just the two of us?

Z-man22:

Actually…why don’t you just come to my place? Bring an overnight bag.

SeattleLoner:

Are you sure?

Z-man22:

Yeah. Let’s take off the training wheels, Tris. I want to go fast.

Zach was grinning when he opened the door. “Eric just left. Pretty sure he orchestrated this sleepover so we’d have a night alone.”

“I love your brother.”

Zach laughed and tugged me through the door. I didn’t have time to put down my duffel bag before he kissed me. He was eager, tongue dipping in to slide along mine, but his lips were trembling. His whole body, too.

I broke the kiss. “Hey, you’re shaking.”

“I’m fine,” he said quickly.

“You’re nervous.”

“No!” His lips twisted. “Maybe a little.”

I took a step back, dropping my bag to the ground and shrugging off my coat. “We don’t have to rush into anything. We could have dinner, hang out a while.” I was desperate for this man, but I forced myself to add, “Nothing even has to happen. We could just spend time together.”

Zach groaned. “No, I want things to happen.” His eyes fixed on me. “I’m just nervous because I’ve never…”

A blush stole across his cheeks, and my heart skipped. I’d figured out he was inexperienced. It made sense, given he was only twenty-two and saddled with the responsibility of a single parent. But despite Zach’s reluctance to date, I thought he might hook up occasionally to meet his needs.

Like when his brother is at a sleepover.

But if he was completely inexperienced, I could see how that might be intimidating.

“So you’re a virgin?” I asked, needing it confirmed.

He bit his bottom lip, the blush intensifying. “Is that a problem?”

“Of course not.” I drew him back into my arms and he came willingly. “Just tell me what you have done, what you like, what you don’t like.”

His eyes locked on mine. “Some kissing. Some touching.”

I slid my hands under his shirt and circled my thumbs over his hipbones. “Like this?”

His breath hitched. “Yeah, but higher…”

I slid my right hand up, skating it lightly over his ribs before brushing fingertips over his nipple. It hardened beneath my touch.

“Like this?” I pinched it lightly.

Zach gasped. “Y-yeah. Also…lower.”

I lowered my left hand from beneath his shirt and slid it over the front of his pants, cupping the hard cock I felt beneath denim.

Zach’s breath sped up even more.

I tugged his nipple, then squeezed his cock.

“Oh god,” he moaned. “Keep going.”

I kissed the corner of his lips, then his jaw, and his throat, all while continuing to stroke and squeeze him. He was shaking now, but for a much better reason than nerves. He was horny as fuck, and it felt incredible to know I was driving him wild with just a few touches.

“What else should I do?” I murmured against his skin.

“Touch me.”

“I’m touching you.”

“More.” His gaze found mine, pupils blown with lust, cheeks red but from excitement rather than embarrassment. “Take me to bed. Please, Tris. I want you.”

I kissed him hard, plunging my tongue into his mouth, suddenly shaking myself with how badly I wanted him. Going slow with Zach had tested my willpower, but I was reaping the reward now.

This felt like so much more than a hookup.

Zach grabbed my waist for balance as I kissed him hard enough to make us stumble a couple of steps. I scraped my teeth over his bottom lip, relishing the moan that broke free of him.

Heat rushed over my skin as he finally got brave enough to slide his hands under my shirt.

“Yes, baby,” I whispered against his lips. “Touch me anywhere.”

Zach was tentative, fingers little more than a tease as he reached around and slid them up my back. As he gained confidence, he dug his fingers in to feel the give of my muscle.

He moved his hands up, then back down, all the way to the curve of my ass. He squeezed, and I bucked my hips forward, grinding our cocks together.

“Fuck,” I uttered. “You said something about bed?”

Zach released me and turned for the hall. I followed, shedding my shirt as I went.

His bedroom was neat and tidy. Too tidy. As if maybe he’d prepared for a special overnight guest. That reminded me once again of how important this night was for Zach. How rare.

I took a breath, attempting to temper the adrenaline flooding me. I wanted this to be good for Zach. That meant I couldn’t just push him down and shove my cock into his mouth, even if I’d love to see those luscious lips wrap around me.

“Undress for me?” I asked him.

Zach nodded. “You too?” His gaze lingered on my bare chest. “The rest, I mean.”

I ripped open my pants button in reply. Zach seemed a little shy, and I was halfway to naked already, so I unzipped and pushed my jeans down. Zach’s breath grew more ragged as he watched me strip them off.

I hooked my thumbs under the waistband of my boxer briefs.

“Zach?”

“Hmm?”

“You look like you need a little help.”

He blinked. “What?”

I lifted my hands away from my underwear and stepped forward to lift his shirt. He raised his arms, letting me pull it over his head and toss it aside.

He was slim and pale, with more of those adorable freckles peppering his shoulders and arms. His chest was bare, aside from the flush of arousal, and a coppery treasure trail of hair arrowed down into his pants, making my mouth water.

“You look so good, baby.”

He shuddered under my perusal, his dark red nipples looking as if they were begging for attention. I bent and took one into my mouth, and he arched into me with a surprised cry.

I bit down, nibbling his flesh, and he groaned. “Please, Tris.”

I moved to his left nipple, giving it the same treatment.

“Please,” he said again.

“Tell me what you want,” I said, my mouth still pressed to his chest.

“Take off my pants. Please. Your underwear too. I want us to be skin to skin.”

“Good idea.” I popped the button on his jeans and carefully lowered the zipper. I met his eyes as I pushed them down over his hips.

There was heat there. Zach was clearly into this. But something more as well. Something I’d been afraid Zach might not be able to give me.

Trust.

I went to my knees, kissing his belly button as I tugged his jeans down, then his underwear, and helped him step out of his clothes until he was completely naked before me.

He was a beautiful man, more willowy than muscled. His back dipped into a delicious curve as it met his ass and his skin was flushed everywhere now—his desire written all over him even before I got a look at his cock, which was long and slim like him, an almost delicate pink along the shaft that gradually darkened to a deep violet at the tip.

He was already oozing precum for me—and I couldn’t resist a taste. I tipped forward and licked him.

“Tris!” he gasped. “Please.”

I gazed up at him from my knees, not at all sad to find us in this position. I smiled at the raw want on his face.

“Tell me what you want, baby.”

“Oh god.” He lifted his hands to cover his face. Peeked out. Then in a strangled voice, said, “Suck me? I mean, if that’s okay?”

I chuckled. “Zach, it’s more than okay. You can ask for anything you want. In fact, you can just demand it. No need to beg, though I won’t complain if you do.” I winked.

He shuddered, eyes darkening even more as he gazed down at me. He wet his lips, which made my cock throb with desire. But I could wait. This was Zach’s moment.

He took a deep breath. “Suck my cock, Tris. I want to see your mouth on me.”

I held his gaze as I opened my mouth. Brushed my lips against his cock, teasing at the idea of a blow job without giving him everything at once.

I waited for Zach to take the lead.

His fingers clenched in my hair.

“Do it,” I murmured, letting my tongue flick against his cockhead.

“Fuck, Tris,” he whispered.

Then he plunged his cock so deep into my mouth he nearly choked me.

CHAPTER 15

ZACH

Like an overeager idiot, I immediately gagged Tristan with my cock.

It was just that it felt so. damn. good. I’d used a fleshjack and other toys. I might be celibate, but I was still twenty-two and horny as fuck most of the time. But this was on another level.

“Sorry!” I blurted, attempting to pull back even though all I wanted was more of his blissful wet heat.

But to my shock, Tristan grabbed my hips and kept going, face red and eyes streaming. His tongue danced along my shaft, then dug into the divot beneath my cockhead, sending pleasure sparking through me.

“Oh fuck,” I whispered. “I don’t know how long…”

Tris hollowed his cheeks, tightening the suction around my cock, and teased at the slit in the head with his tongue.

With one hand, he gently squeezed and rolled my balls.

“S-stop,” I gasped. “I’ll come too fast!”

Tristan sat back, breathing hard. “Are you sure? I can make you come like this.” He gestured to his boxer briefs, his cock looking like it was trying to punch through the fabric. “Hell, I can probably come from this.”

“Don’t you dare.” I grabbed his arm, tugging at him, and he rose to his feet. His eyes were dark with lust, his lips quirked in a sexy smile.

“What do you want, baby? Your wish is my command.”

“Take off your underwear and get in my bed.”

“Thought you’d never ask,” he said with a grin. Then he placed his thumbs under the waistband of his boxer briefs and shoved them off. I hadn’t fully taken stock of just how gorgeous he was until then. Tristan had this unassuming presence most of the time. He projected “nice guy” vibes. He was someone with a quick smile, a calm demeanor, and a confidence that wasn’t so overbearing as to tip into egotistical territory.

But when he turned on the sex appeal, it was as if he was a whole other man. His confidence became predatory. His easy smile turned seductive. Those “nice guy” vibes? Gone. In their place, a promise of something that made me shiver with excitement.

Right now, his usual warmth was a freaking firestorm, and I melted a little more as I took in the breadth of his shoulders, the gold hair glinting on his chest and trailing over his stomach, and the thick cock between his legs.

I swallowed hard, even as my mouth pooled with saliva.

Tristan pulled me in to another long kiss, this one wetter than the ones before, both of us too turned on to worry about finesse.

When he broke the kiss, my head spun, and I stood for a moment blinking into the dim light of the room as he climbed into my bed.

“Want to join me?” he asked, his voice amused.

I looked over to see a naked man laid out in the center of my bed, his cock standing tall, his arms folded behind his head and putting his chest on display.

Fuck, this is happening. I’m finally having sex.

“Zach?” His brow creased. “If this is moving too fast—”

“No.” I clambered onto the bed. “I’m just processing that this isn’t another fantasy.”

He pulled me down on top of him, skin hot beneath mine. “Are you saying you fantasized about me?”

My cheeks heated in a blush. Fucking stupid fair complexion gave me away every time.

He chuckled. “Don’t be shy, baby. I fantasized about you too.”

“Yeah?”

He put his lips by my ear. “So much. Every day.”

I shivered. “So what now?”

“What do you want?”

“I want to taste you too.”

“You can do anything you want to me.”

I kissed him, feeling awkward and tentative with Tristan lying pliant beneath me. I brushed light kisses to his jaw, kissed his neck, then down to his chest.

I paused halfway down his torso, huffing a breath.

“What’s wrong?”

“You keep saying to do whatever I want.” I gazed up at him. “I want you to tell me what to do.”

I felt his cock twitch against my thigh.

“I can do that,” he said in a velvety tone. “Turn around.”

“Do what?”

“Turn around, baby. You’re going to suck my cock.”

I exhaled a relieved breath, reassured I could please him if I just followed his lead. I wasn’t sure why I needed to turn around to suck his cock instead of just moving lower in the bed. Maybe he liked the angle better?

I repositioned myself, straddling his shoulders as I kneeled over his body to take the tip of his cock into my mouth. The flavor of salt burst over my tongue, and Tristan sighed. “That’s it. Just get me wet. Suck the tip. You don’t have to take it all at once.”

My confidence grew with the praise. I flicked my tongue around his cockhead, listening to his breathing hitch as I sucked another inch of him into my mouth.

This wasn’t as easy as porn made it seem. I kept unintentionally holding my breath, and I couldn’t quite master a rhythm like Trisan had. But Tristan was groaning like it was the best thing ever, so I just kept working at it.

When wet heat enveloped my cock, and I realized he was going to suck me while I sucked him, I flushed with even more heat. Tristan took me much deeper, worked me so expertly I was on the edge in seconds.

I mimicked him as best I could, hoping to feed him even half the pleasure he gave me.

The pleasure looped back on itself, and I lost track of who was doing what and just felt. There was something about having a cock in my mouth that intensified the pleasure coursing through me.

My climax hit quickly, and before I could pull off to warn Tristan.

I came with a muffled groan, his cock still filling my mouth.

Tristan swallowed around me as I shuddered and shook, too uncoordinated to do anything but hold his cock in my mouth while I moaned my pleasure.

Before I could resume blowing him properly, Tristan gave a strangled noise and bucked his hips twice, fucking my mouth, and making my heart lurch for fear he’d choke me.

It would only be fair after the way I’d gagged him earlier, but somehow he stopped just short of that.

“Fuck, Zach,” he uttered, and then he was spilling down my throat.

I didn’t swallow nearly as gracefully as he had, spluttering and spitting half of it back out, but Tristan didn’t seem to care.

“Come up here,” he said, voice sounding hoarse.

I turned and let him haul me into his arms and kiss my mouth, both of us tasting of cum.

“Was that okay?” he asked.

The flip from sexy man in charge to concerned boyfriend threw me for only a moment. I loved that Tristan wanted the best for me. Well, I liked it. Love was a bit…

I pushed that thought away and focused on Tristan’s worried eyes.

“It was perfect,” I said. “Can we do it again?”

He laughed. “Hell yeah. Anytime you want, baby.”

“Good. Because I want a shower and then a second round.”

He smirked. “I’ll do you one better. I’ll get you off again while we’re still in the shower, then we can do a third round.”

I laughed, delighted. I was no longer a virgin.

I had a boyfriend who was a sex god in disguise.

Why had I worried so much about this dating thing? It was all so much easier than I feared.

Maybe this could work. Maybe I could put Eric first and still have a little room for me too.

CHAPTER 16

TRISTAN

Zach was adorable when he was sleeping. He was always adorable, but damn, with his face relaxed and peaceful, he looked so young and innocent.

You’d never know that I’d thoroughly corrupted him the night before.

Or that he carried so much responsibility.

I’d noticed the way Zach liked me to take charge in bed. The way he seemed to crave the direction. At the time, I’d assumed it was because of his inexperience. But given his daily life, maybe he just wanted to let go and not make any decisions for a while. I could get onboard with that.

In fact…I wouldn’t mind taking charge of how he woke this morning.

I ran a hand down his chest to his morning wood. His skin was deliciously hot beneath my hand as I wrapped my hand around his cock and squeezed.

He gasped, eyes fluttering.

“Morning,” I said, voice still raspy from sleep, or possibly our nighttime activities, which had involved Zach’s cock down my throat more than once.

He opened his eyes. The blue-green of them was a shock of color against his white sheets and pale skin. His freckles beckoned to me, and I leaned in to trace my tongue from one to the next to the next.

“What are you doing?” he asked with a breathy laugh.

I hummed against his skin. “Do you mean this?” I stroked his cock, making him gasp and buck his hips forward. “Or this?” I tasted two more freckles.

“Pretty sure, I know—” He broke off with a groan as I tugged his cock again. “I know what the first one is. But the second…”

“I’m just admiring your freckles.”

“Oh god, I hate them.”

I pulled back slightly. “They’re adorable. You’re adorable.”

He rolled his eyes. “Like a little kitten? Thanks.”

“Well.” I moved my lips to his neck and nibbled. “I usually don’t want to fuck kittens.”

His pulse jumped.

“Oh.”

“Mm-hmm. I want you, Zach. All of you.” I rolled him onto his back and pulled the sheet down to look at him. “I can’t get enough.”

He smiled shyly, his messy hair falling into his eyes. “Last night was really good, wasn’t it?”

“It was amazing.” I dipped down to nip his Adam’s apple, making him hiss and jerk. “You’re so tasty.”

He grabbed my hips and pulled me down on him, our bodies grinding our cocks between us.

“You’re so sexy,” he murmured. “How am I supposed to resist you?”

“You’re not.”

I backed away and grabbed his thighs, pushing them wide. He sucked in a sharp breath, red creeping up his chest to his face.

I lifted his legs, rolling his hips up, so I could brush a finger between his ass cheeks. “You ever think about this?”

Zach’s hole fluttered under the pad of my finger. “Y-yes. I, uh…have toys.”

That was encouraging. Maybe I could—

The shrill ring of a phone cut through my thoughts. Zach rolled away to grab his cell from the charger. He gave me an apologetic look. “It’s Eric.”

I glanced at the clock. Damn. It was already 11 a.m. We’d been up half the night, so it made sense we’d sleep late, but I’d hoped we’d have more time before Eric came home.

“Hey, Eric,” Zach answered, sounding remarkably unruffled considering what we’d just been doing. “You ready to come home?”

He nodded as he listened to Eric. “Yep. Yep. No problem. I’ll be over in a few.”

I sat back on my heels, my cock aching for release. “Playtime is over, huh?”

Zach grimaced. “Sorry. Throwing you out the morning after seems like a dick move.”

I glanced down at my hard-on. “Actually, kind of seems like the opposite of a dick move.”

Zach laughed. “You know what I mean.”

“I could come with you to get Eric? We could all get breakfast.” I remembered it was eleven. “Or lunch?”

Zach hesitated. “You really want to spend the last of your weekend with me and my kid brother? I’m sure you’ve got better things to do.”

“Nothing better than spending time with you,” I said honestly.

“Even when I’m leaving you hanging like this?”

He motioned between our naked bodies. I shrugged. “Parenting calls, right? I understand.”

Zach smiled brightly. “You really are a good guy, Tris.”

I smirked. “That doesn’t mean I don’t want to get my hands on you again the second the opportunity presents itself.”

Zach licked his lips. “Good. Same. Uh…” He chuckled nervously. “Just dial down that sex god thing while we’re with Eric, okay?”

I laughed. “Sex god thing?”

“You know what I mean.”

I gave him a once-over, thinking about all the things I’d love to do to him when time allowed. We’d barely scratched the surface of Zach’s sexual exploration, and I was more than happy to be his guide in all things pleasure-related. He was cute, and somehow that translated to sexy as hell when he was gasping and moaning for me.

But it was more than just the sex. I loved being Zach’s first, and not for some possessive reason, but because I got to be closer to him, to give him what he needed, to make sure it was everything he deserved.

A pillow hit me in the face. “Stop looking at me like that!”

Whoops. I grinned. “You think I’m a sex god, huh?”

“I didn’t say that,” he mumbled.

I laughed, and he wacked me with another pillow. “If you’re coming with me, put on some clothes and stop tempting me to do bad things.”

“But it’s so fun to do bad things with you,” I teased, even as I relented and turned away to find my clothes.

“Hold that thought,” Zach said. “I’ll definitely want to revisit it later.”

By the time we arrived to pick up Eric, we’d both managed to calm our libidos, though I had a low-level hum of arousal running nonstop around this guy. Maybe once we got more than one night together, it would lessen, but right now I was craving more more more.

Eric grinned when he saw me in the passenger seat and slid into the back. “Hey, Tris! You hanging out with us today?”

“We’re just grabbing lunch,” Zach said before I could answer, “then you and I have chores to do before school tomorrow.”

I was tempted to offer to help, but I’d already invited myself to lunch. Sex god or not, I didn’t want to get clingy immediately after our first night together.

Eric groaned dramatically. “I did a bunch of chores before I spent the night with Malcolm.”

“And now we have new chores,” Zach said. “They don’t stay done. It’s sad, but that’s life.”

Eric huffed. “Fine. Can we get burgers, at least? I am not in the mood for that weird Greek food that Tristan likes.”

Zach slapped a hand to his forehead. “Eric! Manners.”

I laughed. “I like burgers too. No worries. Have you all been to the Frying Pan downtown? They’ve got great shakes too.”

“Shakes?” Eric perked up like an excited puppy in the backseat. “I want to go there!”

Zach flicked his gaze to me, smiling wryly. “Looks like it’s burgers and shakes for lunch. We’re very sophisticated if you didn’t notice.”

I reached across the console to give his thigh a quick squeeze. “Sophistication is overrated,” I said. “Besides, I get enough of that with Celeste.”

“Celeste?”

“My best friend at work,” I said. “She’s got way more taste than me.”

“Hey!” Zach laughed. “Should I take offense at that?”

“God no,” I said with a grin. “I didn’t mean taste in men. I know her boyfriend. I much prefer mine.”

He chuckled. “Okay, good.”

“Is that what you guys are now?” Eric asked from the backseat. “Boyfriends?”

I hesitated, glancing over at Zach. He smiled.

“Yeah, Eric. I guess we are.”

It was the first time Zach hadn’t hesitated about taking this step with me, and I coasted on the glow of happiness it gave me for the rest of the day.

The rest of the week, really, even when I only saw him for a few minutes each morning at the coffee shop. Even when I burned for him at night, alone in my bed because he wasn’t ready for overnights when Eric was home.

Even when we texted more than we talked.

Zach had called me his boyfriend, had claimed me as his, and I was. I was his so much more than I’d ever been anyone’s—even those times I’d convinced myself I was in love.

CHAPTER 17

ZACH

Tristan wrapped his arm around my shoulders and sank back into the couch, seemingly unbothered that every set of eyes in the room was on us.

“So you guys do this every Tuesday?”

“We try,” Austin said, right before wedging himself into the space beside me on the sofa.

Ellis was in the armchair, Jordan perched on the arm, and Becca had claimed the footstool. If my friend group grew any more, I’d need to buy extra furniture.

“And you always watch rom-coms?”

A voice came from the laptop on the coffee table. “Not always. I choose horror movies.”

Austin spun the laptop around so the screen faced us. “Tristan, meet our friend, Skylar. He was rude enough to move across the country, so he joins us remotely when he’s not busy with Drake.”

“Drake is his boyfriend,” I whispered to Tristan. “We don’t like him.”

Tristan raised an eyebrow, but Skylar answered. “Actually, Drake has been working crazy long hours for my dad to oversee his latest big investment, and I don’t hate it.”

We gaped at him, and he clapped a hand over his mouth. “Forget I said that.”

“No way,” I said. “We’re talking more about this later.”

“Honestly, everything is fine,” he said. “When he’s done with this project, we’re going to take a vacation. Maybe go to my family’s house in the Ozarks. It’ll be good for us.”

There was a false brightness in his voice, like he was trying just a little too hard to convince us.

I exchanged a knowing look with Jordan. We’d both seen the signs that Skylar’s relationship with Drake wasn’t healthy. I hoped this trip to the Ozarks—wherever the heck that was—panned out the way he hoped, but I wouldn’t bet on it.

“Back to the movie,” Jordan announced. “This is Austin’s favorite part.”

“Is not.”

“You love it.”

On the screen, Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks were practically throwing sparks as they argued in the movie You’ve Got Mail.

“Meg is kind of cute when she’s mad,” Austin admitted.

“They have great chemistry,” Ellis added, sounding dreamy.

Tristan turned to whisper in my ear. “I think we have great chemistry.”

A flush of heat swept through me, and I cleared my throat. “I’m going to get a refill. Anyone?”

Tristan hopped up. “I’ll come with you.”

The second we entered the kitchen, I pushed Tristan against the refrigerator hard enough to make all the cans inside rattle. We both froze, laughing quietly as Jordan called out, “Everything okay in there?”

“Oh, you sweet summer child,” Austin replied. “Let them have their fun.”

The TV volume increased a notch, and Tristan and I fell on each other like starving wolves. The week since we’d spent the night together had been a busy one. I’d had to pick up an extra shift, help Eric buy supplies for a science project—which he’d changed his mind about three freaking times—and volunteer for a school field trip.

There’d hardly been time to sleep, much less go on a date with Tristan, but he’d come by the coffee shop every morning and texted with me every night.

Sexted a little, too, patiently coaxing me into admitting my fantasies and telling me all the ways he’d fulfill them for me.

The man was a saint. A dirty saint with his tongue in my mouth and his hand down the back of my pants, but a saint.

Laughter rippled out from the living room, reminding me I had a house full of guests. My friends were probably smart enough not to check on us, but that didn’t mean Eric wouldn’t venture out of his bedroom for a snack.

I pulled back. “We shouldn’t do this here.”

“I agree,” Tristan said. “Your bed is much nicer.”

I pressed my forehead to his, trying to will my body to calm down. “It is, but…”

“You’re not ready for sleepovers when Eric is here.”

I winced. Tristan was so patient with me, but there had to be a limit to that. I wasn’t sure why it was so difficult for me to take each step in this relationship.

I just knew that if Tristan started sleeping over that I’d get used to him being there. That Eric would come to count on him. And if we lost him—

No. I couldn’t even think about it. Eric couldn’t handle another loss after our parents. Even if it was something less devastating than death, it would still hurt.

Still be another piece of his heart.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “If you stay over, Eric’s going to start expecting certain things.”

“Would that be so bad? I’m serious about you.”

My heart fluttered. “I’m serious too, but this is new, and for me and Eric, it’s a big change. I just…I don’t know if we can make any promises yet, you know?”

Tristan smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I understand.”

“If I’m asking too much…”

Tristan brushed a kiss to my lips. “Shh, no. You’re not. I knew from the beginning that this wouldn’t be the simplest relationship.”

I grimaced. “That bad, huh?”

“No, that good.” His eyes held mine, warm and sincere. “The best things in life are worth a little effort.”

“Just don’t give up on me.”

“I won’t.” He kissed me on the nose. “Just tell me we’ll eventually get there?”

“We will. I promise.”

I just hoped we could both keep our word.

“Zach! Eric needs you!” Becca called from the living room.

“I guess that’s your cue,” he said. “See you back in there?”

“Save me a spot next to you.”

“Always.”

Eric had lost his homework, and I spent fifteen minutes searching his messy room, then another five lecturing him about organizing his belongings.

By the time I re-emerged, the movie was nearly over. I joined Tristan on the couch, snuggling into his arms and soaking up as much closeness as I could before everyone left.

When the credits rolled and my friends began standing up and saying their goodbyes, I tightened my arm around Tristan’s waist, unable to let go.

He kissed the top of my head. “I could hang out a while. Not all night, just—”

“Yes,” I said, giving him a quick kiss before hopping up to shepherd all my friends out.

Skylar had already signed off, but I’d made him promise we’d talk more soon. I was worried about him and the smiles that didn’t reach his eyes.

Once everyone but Tristan had gone, I checked on Eric to make sure he was in bed.

When I returned, Tristan was waiting on the couch, waiting to follow my lead.

I crawled into his lap and kissed him with all the longing I’d felt since leaving my bed last Saturday morning.

“Mm. Baby, not that I don’t like…” Tristan sucked in a breath as I bit down on the tendon in his neck. “But if this isn’t headed to a happy ending, we probably should—”

I cupped his dick through his pants.

“Fuck, thank god,” he murmured as we both fumbled open his jeans and I bent to suck his cock into my mouth. “Jesus, Zach.”

“Shhh. Stay silent.”

“Easier said than done,” he muttered.

I dove down on his cock, licking and sucking with a desperation that I’d never have imagined in my wildest fantasies. I felt as if I needed to consume this man, to hold him inside me.

Tristan arched with a gasp, but he didn’t make a sound as I pulled out every trick I’d learned from him the previous week to push him over the edge. I used my tongue, my hands, even my teeth—just a bit—and when Tristan managed a garbled warning, I swallowed his cum, not even caring about the taste, just wanting every bit of him that I could have in my stupid, messy life.

Tristan pulled me up for a hard kiss, then pushed me down on the cushions and returned the favor with far more finesse. I had to bite my fist to keep quiet, and afterward, Tristan held me for nearly an hour even though he had a long, cold drive and an early start at work in the morning.

I wanted to ask him to stay. The words were on the tip of my tongue.

They just wouldn’t come.

CHAPTER 18

ZACH

Z-man22:

It was fun hanging out today. Sorry it had to end so soon.

SeattleLoner:

Well, it didn’t have to end. I’d have helped fold your underwear ;)

Z-man22:

Ha! You do not need to see the chaos of my laundry room. You’d run screaming.

SeattleLoner:

Nah. You can’t scare me away.

Z-man 22:

Good to know. Text you tonight after Eric goes to bed?

SeattleLoner:

I’m counting on it =)

My cell phone rang, and I set aside the shirt I was folding to check the caller ID. I knew it wouldn’t be Tris since we’d already made plans to text later.

Which hopefully meant we’d sext.

We’d fallen into a pattern of fitting in a couple of evenings at my house each week, then an outing on the weekend, but we were rarely alone. Tristan still wasn’t staying the night, waiting patiently for me to issue an invitation, and I just…hadn’t.

Logically, I knew it was time. I wanted more with Tristan. But each time I opened my mouth to do it, my heart raced, my palms grew clammy, and I thought about all the ways it could go wrong. The ways I could lose him and upend Eric’s life again, and I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to go through that again.

Skylar’s name flashed on my phone screen, and I eagerly hit the Accept Call button.

“Hey, I’m so glad you called. I was worried.”

“Hello to you too,” Skylar said, voice dry.

I chuckled. “Sorry. I just missed you at the last movie night.”

“Yeah.” Skylar sighed. “I guess you’re not wrong to worry. I got into a big fight with Drake.”

“Are you okay?”

There was a lengthy pause that made my stomach churn. From the beginning, there had been something off about Drake. He was charming, too charming, when we’d first met him. He’d had the perfect answer for everything.

Then, bit by bit, our friend began to disappear.

At first, it seemed like he was just in a honeymoon phase. But after a while, it became obvious that Drake was demanding all his time. When he was home, Skylar had to give him all his attention. When he wasn’t home, Skylar still had to be there so that Drake wouldn’t “worry” about what he was doing in his absence.

I’d never heard there was any physical abuse, but…it was a slippery slope, wasn’t it?

“I’m fine,” Skylar said.

“You don’t sound fine.”

“No, I am. I’ve just been doing some soul searching, you know?”

My heart skipped with hope. “Yeah? You going to leave him?”

“I didn’t say that.”

Damn. I bit back the tide of words that wanted to tumble from my mouth. Pleas for him to leave. Frustrated questions about why he would want to stay. We’d had enough conversations about his relationship that I knew Skylar would shut down.

“What are you saying?” I asked carefully instead.

He sighed. “I don’t know. I just know that I’m…not…happy.”

The admission sounded difficult to make.

“It’s probably my fault,” he added quickly.

“It’s not your fault.”

“You don’t know that. I’m probably a terrible boyfriend. I mean, Drake said—”

“Drake said what?”

“Nothing. Nevermind.”

“I just want you to be happy,” I said. “You don’t owe Drake your whole life. If you’re unhappy…”

“It’s just not that easy to walk out,” he said. “Change is hard, you know?”

I thought of my struggle with each step of my relationship with Tristan, a great guy who wanted to give me everything I needed and who I couldn’t quite let in out of fear.

“Yeah,” I acknowledged. “I understand more than you think.”

“Are you talking about Tristan? I thought things were going well.”

“They are. Really well. He’s practically perfect.”

Skylar scoffed. “Sure, he is. You’ve got honeymoon blinders on.”

“Maybe. I don’t know. It’s just been me and Eric for the past two years. It’s been us against the world, you know?”

“And now Tristan wants into the inner sanctum?”

I chuckled. “Something like that.”

“Yeah,” Skylar said. “Change is hard. But at least your change is positive change.”

“Yours would be too,” I said. “You can always come back home, Sky.”

“I’m not so sure about that. But my family has a vacation house in the Ozarks. I’m not saying I’m leaving. Things might work out with Drake. But if I need to escape…”

“I’m glad you’ve got someplace to go. Just keep in touch, okay? I’ll worry otherwise.”

“I will,” he said. “I hear the door, so I better go.”

My hand clenched on the phone, hating that I couldn’t be there to stand by his side. Hating how alone Skylar must feel. At least I always had Eric at my side, and I knew instinctively that I had Tristan too.

I cracked open Eric’s door after finishing a final load of laundry and internally groaned to see him at his computer. “Why aren’t you in bed?”

Eric glanced at the bottom right corner of his screen where the clock was displayed. “Oops. Lost track of time.”

“Get going, and be quick about it,” I said, impatient for a little alone time with my boyfriend, even if it was only through a phone screen.

As soon as Eric was in bed with the lights out, I rushed to my room and locked myself in. I stripped down for bed, then picked up the phone to message Tristan.

Z-man22:

Sorry it’s so late. Are you still awake?

SeattleLoner:

I’m awake. Just waiting for you.

Story of our lives, I thought guiltily.

Z-man22:

So what have you been up to this evening?

SeattleLoner:

The usual. Ate dinner, watched some TV, climbed into bed and tried not to think about what I’d do to you if we were together.

My blood went south, cock hardening between my thighs.

Z-man22:

What would you do to me?

SeattleLoner:

You want the sweet version or the dirty version?

Z-man22:

Dirty now. Sweet later.

SeattleLoner:

I’d strip off your clothes.

Z-man22:

Good because I’m already naked.

SeattleLoner:

Damn. Yeah. I’d kiss you until you could hardly catch your breath. I’d trail kisses down your chest and stomach. I’d tease you until you were begging me.

Z-man22:

Wouldn’t take much. I’m so horny.

SeattleLoner:

Yeah? How would you feel about trying something new tonight.

Z-man22:

Okay…

A video call came in. I answered it, heart thumping. We’d kept our sexting to naughty fantasies and the occasional photo, but I was feeling exceptionally needy tonight.

Tristan appeared on screen, propped on pillows much like me, wearing a thin T-shirt. “Hey, baby.”

“Hey. Um. So…”

He smiled. “We don’t have to do this if you’re too shy.”

“I’m not,” I said quickly.

I was nervous, but I was so desperate for him that I couldn’t imagine saying no. I needed this, especially after that conversation with Skylar.

Something about it had made me realize how damn lucky I was to have Tristan in my life. I wished I was better at expressing that to him. But at least I could show him how much I wanted him.

Tristan shifted, the screen jerking. “Let me prop this phone up so we can do this right.”

His whole body came into view after a minute of fumbling.

“What now?” I asked.

“Now you tell me what you want.”

I bit my bottom lip as I looked him over. My cheeks blazed hot as a furnace, but that was nothing new. I pushed through my bashfulness to say, “Get naked?”

Tristan whipped his T-shirt off. He had a nice body. He was no gym rat, but he was solid, clearly more athletic than I was, with a nicely built chest.

He had to go off screen to strip off his boxers, but when he returned, he was gloriously naked, his cock thick and growing between his thighs.

As I watched, he settled back in the bed, knees bent and spread, and wrapped a hand around his hard-on, giving it a stroke. “What do you want me to do next?”

“Can you take over?” I asked. “I like it when you tell me what to do.”

“Mm, me too,” he said without missing a beat. “Show me that gorgeous body, baby.”

I was already naked, and I realized one hand was under the blankets, squeezing my aching cock. I took a minute to reposition the phone as Tristan had so I could push down the blanket and bare myself to him.

“Fuck, you’re sexy.”

Tristan was so good with his words. I felt awkward and self-conscious. “You too.”

He smiled that seductive smile of his, seemingly unbothered by my inability to say more than two words.

He stroked himself again, this time circling his thumb over the head of his cock, groaning as his precum slicked the skin.

“Zach.”

“Hmm?”

“Put your hand on your dick. Stroke with me.”

My breath stuttered. “O-okay.”

“Fast and hard, baby. We’re going to make you come. You look like you need it.”

“I do,” I said, voice strained as I began to jerk myself, matching my tempo to Tristan’s, imagining his hand on me instead of my own. “I need it so bad.”

“I know you do.” His voice was soft. “You work so hard. You give so much. You need something for you.”

“I do.”

“If I was there, I’d take you down my throat, suck you until you melted into a puddle.”

I groaned. “Yes.”

“Will you come for me?”

“Yes, yes.” My eyes closed as the pressure mounted, and I felt the moment of release. I muffled my cry with one fist while I milked my cock, spurting wetly over my fist and across my stomach.

I heard Tristan groan quietly and forced open my lids to see him come. His face twisted, his back arched, and he looked to be in pain for a moment before the release hit. Then the tension drained away, leaving him gasping.

“Thanks,” I said quietly. “I needed that.”

He opened his eyes and smiled. “Me too.”

We disconnected the call to clean up, and it was only after I’d resettled in bed that I realized I’d forgotten to ask Tristan what the sweet thing was he’d do to me if we were together.

I sent him a quick text. His reply came a moment later.

SeattleLoner:

I’d hold you as we go to sleep.

Z-man22:

That sounds perfect.

Tristan was a nice enough guy not to remind me that I was the reason we were cuddling a phone instead of each other.

CHAPTER 19

TRISTAN

Z-man22:

I missed you this morning at the coffee shop.

SeattleLoner:

Well, I overslept after someone kept me up late sexting.

Z-man22:

Who would do that? *innocent blink*

SeattleLoner:

Yeah, I wonder…

I paused with my hand on the door to Roasted, Celeste beside me. “Please don’t embarrass me.”

She scoffed. “Who do you take me for?”

“You?”

She elbowed me. “Oh, hush and just introduce me to your boo already.”

I’d missed my morning visit to the coffee shop, but Zach’s text had revived my cravings—both for the caffeine and him—so I’d decided to run by on my midmorning break.

Celeste had insisted on tagging along. “Come on,” she urged now. “Let’s go in. I’ll be good.”

I relented and opened the door, my heart skipping at the sight of Zach behind the counter. His back was to us as he used the espresso machine, but his coppery red hair was a bright beacon against the dark uniform he wore.

A loud voice carried through the shop. “Mr. Right has arrived for his morning hit of Zachie-Poo!”

I recognized the sassy tenor as belonging to one of the employees. Matty enjoyed teasing Zach whenever I came in. Today, they pursed their purple lips and blew air kisses in Zach’s direction.

At their words, Zach spun toward the front counter, a wide smile overtaking his face.

That smile did things to me. Every time I had doubts, every time I got impatient with his busy schedule and many priorities that didn’t include me, one glimpse of that smile made it all worth it.

“Oh, is that him? He’s a cutie!”

I tore my gaze from him to glance at Celeste as we got into line behind two people. “I’m surprised you didn’t come stalk him before now.”

“Well, I was hoping you’d introduce me in your own time.”

“Then why’d you strong-arm me into bringing you here today?”

“Because clearly that wasn’t going to happen. I had to take matters into my own hands. It’s my job as your best friend to vet your boyfriends. You know this.”

I chuckled. “You’ve done such a great job of it too.”

Celeste had actually set me up with one of them, and it had been a disaster. I’d forbidden her from any more matchmaking after a single date ended with me hauling a falling-down, belligerent drunk into a rideshare.

Zach nudged aside Carrie, the staffer who usually ran the check-out, so he could take my order when we reached the front of the line.

“Morning!” he said brightly, gaze darting to take in Celeste at my side. He’d heard a little about her, so I was guessing the faux fur coat, high-heeled boots, and flawless manicure would tell him what he needed to know. “And you’re Celeste, right?”

She beamed. “That’s right. I had to come in and make sure you were a real boy!”

“Seriously?” I muttered.

“Tristan talks about you all the time, but you haven’t come out for drinks or anything, so—”

Zach winced. “Sorry. My home life is hectic. I don’t get out a lot.”

“Don’t apologize,” I said. “Celeste is just nosy and pushy. It’s her default setting.”

“Guilty,” she said with a smile.

“So, uh, you want your usual, Tris?” Zach asked.

“That’d be great. Celeste likes the chai tea latte.”

He nodded and turned. “Carrie, will you—” He stopped short as she thrust a cup at him.

“Americano for your guy,” she said. “I’ll get the chai started.”

He took the cup from her. “Looks like your training is officially complete.”

She beamed. “I can handle this if you need a break?”

“Just a quick one.”

Zach nodded his head toward the pickup counter, and Celeste and I walked down to meet him.

“Sorry to ambush you,” I said.

Zach shrugged. “Not like my friends didn’t ambush you. I guess we’re even.”

Celeste looked intrigued. “So you’ve met his friends?”

“They were all at my apartment, desperate to put eyes on the guy who managed to lure me on a date.”

Celeste laughed, delighted. “I think I like this one.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “He’s pretty great.”

“Uh, thanks.” Zach ducked his head, blushing, and Celeste gave me a very unsubtle thumbs-up. “Tris is great too.”

“He is. He’ll be the best boyfriend you ever have, so you better hold on to him.”

Carrie arrived with Celeste’s drink, and I took the opportunity to give her a push toward the nearest table. “Okay, embarrassing friend talk over. Go take a seat and give us a minute.”

She smiled teasingly. “Fine, I can take a hint. I’ll just…spy on you from afar.”

I rolled my eyes and turned back to Zach. “Sorry about her. She insisted the time limit was up and she had to meet you.”

Zach leaned forward, bracing his forearms on the counter. “I’m really sorry I haven’t been out to meet your friends. I know my schedule has been crazy, but Eric is going to a friend’s birthday party in a couple of weeks, so maybe then?”

I set down my drink and took hold of Zach’s hand, mirroring his pose on the opposite side of the counter. “I haven’t even invited you out for drinks, sweetheart. You don’t need to apologize.”

“But is that because you haven’t wanted to take me out, or because you knew I’d say no?”

I hesitated, and he smiled sadly. “I’m a shit boyfriend.”

“You’re not. Eric is your priority, and I went into this knowing that, Zach. I could have asked you out when Eric went on that sleepover, but I had other priorities.”

Zach gave an embarrassed laugh. “Well, I like your priorities.”

I grinned and leaned in to kiss him. “Me too. They were pretty damn good priorities.”

Behind me Celeste called out, “Tick-tock, Tristan. We should get back.”

I sighed and gave Zach’s hands one last squeeze. “We’re still on for Netflix and chill tomorrow night?”

“Yeah, but Eric’s been embellishing his project ever since his teacher encouraged him to enter the science fair, so I can’t promise the whole place won’t smell like permanent marker.”

“The Thai food I bring over will drown it out.”

“Mm, Thai…”

“Tristan!” Celeste called.

“Okay, gotta go. Text me tonight. No matter how late it is. I’ll wait up.”

“Okay, I will.”

Zach looked bashful about it now, but I loved watching him break out of his shell to be more intimate with me—even if it happened with a screen between us.

I leaned in to give him one last kiss, and Celeste grabbed my arm to drag me away.

“Well, you two certainly have heart eyes and sexual chemistry,” she said, fanning herself as we went out the door. “I thought you might drag him onto that counter and—”

“So you like him then?”

My heart beat hard, and I suddenly realized how much I needed her to say yes.

She hesitated a beat. “I do.”

My stomach twisted. “But?”

She shook her head. “No, I do. He seems really sweet. Clearly you’re into each other. How long have you been dating now? Four weeks?”

“Six weeks since we met in person,” I said. “About eight weeks if you count our messaging before that.”

“Hmm.”

“What is it?”

“Well, nothing. It’s just long enough that I’m surprised he hasn’t come around more.”

“His life is busy. He has a lot on his plate.”

“Understandable. He’s basically a single parent, right? He takes care of his brother?”

“Right,” I said.

“Well, just make sure he leaves enough room on his plate for you,” she said. “Your needs are important too, Tris, and you have a bad habit of forgetting that.”

“I do not,” I said.

She started ticking names off on her fingers. “Malcolm didn’t want a serious relationship, and you let him string you along anyway, hoping he’d change. Adrien was incredibly selfish, from what you told me. Neither of them met your needs.”

“Well, okay, but Zach isn’t like that. We have a real connection.”

“I could see that much,” Celeste said. “But, sweetie, I wouldn’t be your friend if I didn’t worry that you’re going to give everything you have and accept crumbs in return.”

I wanted to argue, but there was a part of me that recognized she was right. I had a history of relationships that were unsatisfying. In every single one, I tried to make excuses for it, told myself that when you loved someone you accepted all of them, even their flaws.

I fooled myself into thinking I was happy.

But Zach did make me happy. I knew that much was true. His life might be more complicated, but his feelings for me were genuine, unlike some of my ex-boyfriends.

Was I satisfied with being relegated to seeing him at work more than anywhere else? Was I happy that we sexted more than we shared a bed?

Not entirely.

But Zach told me he needed to go slow and I’d promised to be patient, so it wasn’t really fair to ask for more. Or was I just making more excuses because I didn’t want to see what was in front of my face?

Maybe I was fooling myself into thinking our relationship would grow into what I really wanted.

CHAPTER 20

ZACH

SeattleLoner:

I hope you’re hungry, because I got a LOT of food.

Z-man22:

Yum! What do I owe you?

SeattleLoner:

Just a few cuddles.

Z-man22:

That sounds like a bargain. Surely we can do better than that ;)

I laid my head on Tristan’s shoulder late Thursday night, body humming with quiet satisfaction. We’d waited until Eric went to bed, as usual, before practically racing to my bedroom.

Tristan was always an attentive lover, even with the limitations on our time alone that kept us to mostly handjobs and blow jobs. But there was an intensity to him tonight that almost rattled me.

It felt a little like he was trying to tell me something with every soft caress and deep, forceful kiss. Or maybe I was just tired and imagining things.

“I never want to move again,” I murmured sleepily. “You wore me out.”

Tristan ran a soothing hand up and down my back. “I’ve got to clean up and go, but you stay there. You looked tired tonight.”

I was tired. I’d been sluggish all day. But as Tristan rolled out from under my body, dissatisfaction swept through me. I didn’t want him to go. Maybe it was time for that to change I’d been trying to work up to? If I wanted Skylar to be brave enough to leave a bad relationship, I should be brave enough to go all in on a good one.

The bathroom door clicked shut, and the shower turned on. I should get up and tell Tristan I wanted him to stay, but I couldn’t seem to summon the energy. I’d ask him when he came out of the shower…

My thoughts drifted off, and I wasn’t aware of anything until I woke the following morning with a dry throat and a dull headache.

Sweat had dried all over me because I’d stupidly fallen asleep without cleaning up. With a groan, I dragged myself to the shower. I felt even more exhausted than I had before I crashed last night, and I had crashed hard because I didn’t even remember—

Shit, I’d meant to ask Tristan to stay. He had stopped asking when I might be ready to take our relationship to the next level. He’d promised to be patient, so that made sense. Yet part of me worried there was another reason for it. That maybe he’d lost some interest in where this could go, or perhaps he was just killing time with me until he met someone who had more time and space for him.

I wanted to make that space. I just struggled to take the first step to do it.

Last night could have been it, but I screwed up, and now I’d be a mess of nerves until the next opportunity, second-guessing what Tristan wanted, what he’d say, and whether he still believed he could have a real future with me.

I’d kept him at arm’s length, so if he didn’t, I’d only have myself to blame.

“Zach!” Eric called as I exited the bathroom and began to search for clothes, moving slow. “We’re gonna be late!”

“I’ll be right there,” I called, the shout sending pain ripping down my throat and taking nearly all my reserved energy.

By the time I dropped Eric at school and went to work, I was running on fumes, and Matty noticed.

“You look like dogshit.”

“Thanks.”

“Go home, dude,” Tran pitched in from his station at the drive-thru window.

“Tristan usually comes by…”

Matty shook their head. “Seriously? Text him that you’re sick and let him baby you.”

“I couldn’t do that,” I said automatically. “I’m a grownup. I take care of myself.”

Matty didn’t look impressed. “We all need someone to take care of us sometimes.”

It didn’t matter in the end because Tristan texted that he had a meeting and couldn’t come by for coffee. I suffered through the morning rush, then accepted defeat and headed home for a nap.

By that evening, I was running a fever and wondering how I’d ever get through the science fair the next day. I not only had to take Eric and his project to the exhibition center, but I’d volunteered to help out at the event all morning.

Eric ordered me to bed as if he were the parent in the house after I failed to eat anything for dinner. I wished Tristan were there, if only to cuddle up against for comfort.

There’d be very little in it for him, though. I was sick and getting sicker. He’d get nothing but a virus out of visiting me now.

I fell into a fitful sleep and woke with a coughing fit and a searing pain in my throat.

“Here, take these.” I accepted the pills and the water, my mind foggy. “You should have called.”

It took me a moment to realize it wasn’t Eric, but Tristan, who stood beside the bed.

“Tris?” I croaked.

“I’m here to take care of you,” he said, voice determined. “Eric called me because he was worried.”

“M’fine.”

“You’re not fine,” Tristan said, sounding almost angry. “You’re burning up, Zach. You need to medicate and rest and drink lots of fluids, not do everything by yourself, so don’t even think about telling me to leave. I know I haven’t stayed the night before—”

“Okay.”

“—but I’m staying. That’s non-negotiable. I’ll stay on the couch and leave when you’re better.”

“You don’t have to.”

“What?”

“Don’t have to leave,” I mumbled. “Ever.”

“Zach?” He sounded puzzled. “I think you’re delirious, baby.”

“No.” I patted his leg, which was all I could reach from where I was. “I love you.”

My eyes fluttered shut, and I felt sleep trying to drag me away. But I forced myself to say, “You should probably stay on the couch though so I don’t get you sick too.”

“Oh, screw that.” Tristan climbed in beside me and wrapped his arms around me. “I could use a few days off work anyway.”

I huffed a little laugh, but the comfort that swept through me was so overwhelming I couldn’t speak. Sleep seeped in quickly, and I couldn’t be sure if the words I heard next were actually spoken or part of a dream.

As I drifted off, I could have sworn I heard him say, I love you too.

CHAPTER 21

TRISTAN

Zach’s words played on a loop in my head throughout the next day.

Don’t have to leave. Ever.

I love you.

I heard them the moment I woke with my arms full of a scorching hot Zach and went to get him more medicine.

I heard them when I made a simple breakfast of toast and tea—Zach’s with a hefty dose of honey to soothe his throat—while my boyfriend watched from under a blanket on the couch, where he’d been ordered to stay put and rest.

“I can help,” he’d protested in a raspy voice. “It’s just a sore throat. My arms and legs work.”

Eric had snorted. “It’s your turn to be coddled on the couch while sick.” For my benefit he added, “Our mom always took care of us like this when we were sick.”

Zach frowned. “But Tris isn’t my mother.”

“That didn’t stop you from doing it for me,” Eric pointed out.

I sent him off to his room to collect his things for the science fair and went to the couch, crouching down to be at eye level. “Zach, you’re run-down and feverish. It’s okay to let someone take care of you for a change.”

“But it’s not your—”

He stopped abruptly, and I raised an eyebrow. “It’s not my what?”

He shook his head, silent now.

“Not my place?” I asked, ignoring the twinge in my heart. I could hurt later, if need be. It was time to make Zach understand I wanted to be all in on this relationship. “Because I care about you and Eric, so why shouldn’t it be my place to help you when you need it?” He opened his mouth, and I added, “And don’t say you don’t need help.”

“I wasn’t going to say it wasn’t your place,” he said softly. “Just that it wasn’t your responsibility.”

I cocked my head, considering that. “True. Sometimes responsibility isn’t a choice. But I choose you and Eric. So that means my support is freely given, and isn’t that better?”

“Oh.” He chewed on that for a minute. “I would choose Eric a hundred times over, so…”

“He’s more than a responsibility to you,” I filled in. “Someone else could have taken him. It might not have been ideal, but they could have.”

Zach looked appalled. “I’d never let that happen.”

“Right,” I said. “Because you choose him. But Zach, I choose you. Both of you. So it is my responsibility too. You don’t have to shoulder every burden alone.”

“Just like that?”

“Yep.” I kissed the crease forming in his forehead and returned to making breakfast. Zach’s expression had turned thoughtful, and I wanted to give him time to process what I meant. No doubt his brain was foggy, and it wouldn’t be right to push for the answers I wanted now.

Not to mention, I had to get Eric over to the science fair in time to help set up for the event. Eric had a gigantic poster board, along with three cardboard-and-aluminum “solar ovens” made to different design specs to test effectiveness for the engineering category of the fair.

For the next few hours, I focused on running interference at the fair while checking in periodically with an excited Eric. I texted Zach a few times too, including sending him a little video of Eric’s project all set up so he wouldn’t feel like he was missing out. Knowing Zach, he was guilting himself for getting sick.

The man drove me up the wall. But damn…I loved him.

And he loved me—maybe. I hoped that I love you hadn’t only been the fever talking. Even if Zach had been out of it, some part of him must mean it, right?

I held on to that hope, knowing that we needed to talk soon. That Zach was letting me do this was a big step for him. True, he was sick as a dog and I’d shown up without asking, but he hadn’t fought me. He’d seemed relieved to see me.

He’d said I never had to leave again.

He’d said, I love you.

Now, I just needed him to say it again—and to say it back—when the man was awake and aware of what it meant.

Eric got an honorable mention.

I’d braced myself to console him for not taking first or second place, but he was over the moon. Apparently, he was a glass-half-full kind of kid. With relief, I drove us both home and Eric ran ahead of me into the house, pouncing onto the couch next to Zach.

“I got a ribbon!”

He held it up proudly, and Zach grinned, his smile so wide it made my heart miss a beat. He already looked a lot better, his skin less pale and the bags under his eyes less pronounced.

“I’m so proud of you,” he said.

Eric scoffed. “You helped me with the whole thing.”

“But it was your idea, and you worked really hard. Good job, Eric.”

“I guess.”

Eric was apparently not much better than Zach about taking credit where it was due. I squeezed his shoulder. “Just take the win, kid. You did good.”

He smiled up at me. “Yeah, okay. I did.”

Zach started to push off the sofa. “Are you hungry, or—”

“Nope.” I pointed. “You stay.”

“I need to stretch. I’ve been lying around all day.” He gave me a cheeky glare. “Is that allowed?”

“I suppose,” I grumbled.

To my surprise, Zach slung his arms around my neck in front of Eric and kissed my cheek. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

I relaxed as Zach pulled me closer. Part of me had been afraid he wouldn’t appreciate my interference, that it might be the end of us instead of the start of the future I wanted.

It was a risk, and I didn’t do well with risks. There was a reason I’d made excuses in all my relationships that came before. A reason I stayed far too long. I often played it too safe.

This time, I’d bet everything on Zach and me.

It was scary as hell but exhilarating too.

Eric took one look at us and wisely decided to go play videogames in his room.

The second we were alone, I kissed Zach with all the pent-up emotions I’d had since I’d gotten Eric’s text and stormed over here, determined to help or get dumped for my efforts.

Zach sank into the kiss for a few seconds, then abruptly pulled away. “We shouldn’t.”

My heart sank. “Right, because of Eric.”

“No. That’s not why. I’m probably contagious.”

I kissed him again gently. “Well, if you get me sick, then you’ll have to take care of me for a day or two. That’s how this thing works.”

“This thing?”

My pulse quickened as the words rose to my tongue. I took the leap.

“Love.”

Zach’s eyes widened for just a second, then warmed. “You love me?”

“I do.” I hesitated. “But I need both of us to be all in on this if it’s going to last.”

“I know.” Looking nervous, Zach collapsed onto the couch and tugged me down beside him. “I meant what I said last night. I wasn’t delirious.”

“Which part?” I asked, needing to hear it.

“That I love you,” he said. “And I want you to stay.”

“Overnight, you mean?”

“Yeah, but not…” He licked his lips. “Not just tonight. A lot of nights. Any night you want.”

I cupped his face, brushing my thumbs over blushing skin. Those pink cheeks, freckles standing out darkly, convinced me more than anything else that he meant what he said.

“I’d really like that.”

“Yeah? I mean, I know you have your own apartment and you might not literally want to stay here all the time.”

I chuckled. “We can figure that out as we go. If you’re sure? You’re not just saying what you think I want to hear?”

“I’m sure. I know it took me a while to get here. Too long,” he said with a sheepish smile. “It’s just scary, letting someone in. Relying on someone. Before my parents—”

His voice cracked, and I took hold of his hands, squeezing them gently. “It’s okay.”

“No, I want to say this.” He took a breath and tried again. “I grew up a little spoiled, I guess. My parents provided everything I needed. They encouraged me to pursue anything I wanted, and they paid for my car, my insurance, my tuition. I relied on them, probably too much. Because when they died…”

“That must have been really hard.”

His eyes gleamed with moisture, and he blinked hard. “Yeah. It turned my world upside down. I had to be an adult overnight, and I didn’t know what I was doing. But…Eric needed me.” He met my eyes, and I could see the determination in them, the drive that had helped him overcome grief and fear to be the man his brother needed.

It made me love him even more.

“You stepped up for him,” I said.

“I couldn’t give him everything my parents gave me, but if I could give him even a fraction—”

“You give him a lot,” I said. “He’s smart and happy and well-adjusted. He came through this in one piece.”

“I hope so.”

I tightened my grip on his hands. “But I don’t think you did.”

He blinked. “What? I’m okay.”

“You gave all your pieces to Eric, and I’m asking you to do something scary, Zach. I want you to keep a piece for yourself. And for me.”

He sagged forward, resting his head on my shoulder. “I feel like I should say no, but…it’s already gone. You have it.”

“Well, if it makes you feel better, you have a piece of me too. And so does Eric. Being part of this family wouldn’t be a burden, Zach, but a privilege.”

He kissed me, tears finally spilling from his eyes. Our kiss tasted of salt and grief and hope.

I savored it, savored what it meant.

Zach’s trust.

Zach’s love.

Zach’s pain.

All given over to me.

CHAPTER 22

ZACH

“I should check on Eric,” I said, from my spot curled into Tristan’s side Sunday evening. “It’s a school night.”

“I’ll do it,” Tristan said, and I wasn’t the least bit surprised by the offer.

Tristan had spoiled me all weekend, insisting on running to pick up groceries, preparing meals, and helping Eric catch up on the homework he’d put off doing until the last minute.

I’d tried to argue at first, but a pleading look from Tristan had reminded me: I wasn’t in this alone anymore. Tristan needed to see that I’d let him be a part of this family. So I’d sat on my twitching hands before dinner, resisting the urge to take over as Tristan fumbled his way through our cabinets in search of the right cookware.

I had to admit, though, Tristan did a decent job with a lemon-mushroom chicken over white rice, and it was nice to take it easy for a couple of days.

Tristan returned from checking on Eric. “He’s in bed.” He held out his hand. “Now it’s your turn.”

I laughed a little, letting him pull me up from the sofa. “You’re going to put me to bed, huh?”

“Yeah, you need your rest.”

“I slept half the weekend away,” I protested, even though I’d just been drifting in a half doze on the sofa.

“Because you needed it.” Tristan guided me toward the bedroom. “And you still need it if you don’t want to feel like crap tomorrow when you return to work. You could call in…”

“I really can’t afford to,” I said.

Tristan nudged me toward the bedroom. “Then let’s go. I’ll make sure you’re comfy and give you a goodnight kiss.”

“Are you staying over again?” I asked.

Tristan had been a huge comfort during this weekend, but with the workweek starting again, I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect.

“Yeah,” he said. “I packed for a few days because I wasn’t sure how long you’d need me.”

“And after tonight…?”

“I can always pick up more clothes, Zach. If you want me here, I’ll be here.”

“You’ve got your own place.”

“I do. It’s empty of cute redheads though. I like it here.”

I wasn’t sure how I’d ever held this man at a distance. Now that I’d had a proper taste of him in my bed, holding me while I slept, I was quickly getting addicted.

My heart skittered a bit, nervous at the thought. I was already becoming so reliant on him. But I took a breath and reminded myself that Tristan’s presence in my house wasn’t going to change the fact he’d already made a home in my heart.

“I like you here too,” I said, an admission to myself as much as it was to Tristan.

He kissed my forehead. “Good because I have a confession to make.”

“What is it?”

“My throat is getting sore.”

“Tris!” I exclaimed. “I warned you that would happen.”

He smiled and shrugged. “Worth it.”

I sighed and shook my head. “Well, you better be as good at accepting help as you are at giving it.”

“Letting you pamper me will be such a chore,” he teased. “But before it comes to that, it’s still my turn.”

Tristan led me into the bathroom and turned on the shower, then slowly undressed me. I was feeling much better, enough that I could certainly take a shower alone, but I wasn’t about to complain when he stripped off to join me.

In some ways, this weekend had been the most intimate of my life. I’d never had someone hold me and care for me the way Tristan had. But we hadn’t had sex, not with me feeling like roadkill half of the time.

In the shower, my body decided that it would enjoy a little more of that kind of intimacy.

But Tristan seemed focused on pampering me instead.

He guided me under the spray and worked shampoo into my hair, massaging my skull and making me purr with contentment. With a loofah, he scrubbed my back and ass, then wrapped his arms around me to scrub my chest and stomach.

My cock quivered in front of me, begging for attention, and I bit my lip to hold in a sound of need.

“How’s that feel?” Tristan asked.

“Good.”

“I guess we’re done then.”

I tensed in his arms, my whole body aching for something more.

“Unless there’s something else you want?” Tristan said.

I recognized the tone in his voice, the one he used during sex. He wanted me to say it. To ask for what I wanted.

It didn’t come easily, but the prospect of going to bed all wound up made me push the words out. “I need you to touch me.”

“I’ve been touching you.”

“You know what I mean. I need you to touch my cock. Need you to make me come. Please, Tris…”

He stood behind me, both of us slick from the hot water pouring down, and curled his fingers around my cock.

“I got you,” he murmured into my ear while stroking me. “I’ll give you anything you need. Anything, Zach.”

He meant that. Whether it was sex or something else. I knew deep down that I’d met the perfect man for me, perhaps the only man who’d be patient enough for me to open myself up to him.

“I want to give you what you need too,” I stuttered out as he touched me.

“Letting me be here is everything I want.” He nuzzled into my neck, and I craned it to the side so he could kiss and nibble at the tender skin.

He shifted behind me, and I felt his hard shaft brush against the back of my thigh.

“Want you to come too,” I said. “Not just me.”

“Good,” he said with a chuckle, “because I’ve got a little situation back here.”

He ground his cock against me, and I laughed breathlessly. “Not so little.”

“No.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “Lean forward a little. Brace yourself on the wall. I want to try something.”

“Okay…”

I wasn’t sure what he had in mind, but it never occurred to me to question him. Tristan would take care of me; he always did, even when I didn’t make it easy.

He nudged my feet closer together, which seemed odd. I stood with my thighs touching, bent slightly at the waist, when I felt the slick head of Tristan’s cock push between my legs.

I started to turn my head to question him, but his mouth met mine and I fell into the heated kiss. With the shower water in the mix, it was wetter than usual, but it didn’t feel sloppy, just erotic, as our lips slid together.

Tristan gripped my cock again, this time with a soapy, slick hand, and I groaned as he began pumping me. At the same time, he thrust his cock between my thighs again, and I fully realized what he was doing.

I clenched my muscles, tightening my thighs around him, and Tristan gasped with pleasure. I did it again, drawing more sounds of pleasure from him as he fucked between my legs.

His cockhead bumped my taint, sending a spark through me and making my legs quake. He squeezed his fist tighter and did it again.

“Tris, oh god. I’m close.”

“Let it happen,” he said, speeding his strokes of my cock and the thrusts of his own. “Come for me.”

The pressure building inside me hit a point of no return, and I arched as my cock shot over his fist.

“Yes, yes, yes,” he gasped in my ear, shaking, his cock spurting between my thighs.

For a long minute, I rested against him, my muscles like jelly. “So this is your idea of putting me to bed so I can rest, huh?”

He gave a breathless laugh. “Are you saying you won’t sleep well after that?”

I turned in his arms. “I guess you’ve got a point, but we better—”

Tristan turned his head, barking a cough suddenly. “Crap.”

I smiled, shaking my head. “So stubborn. You could have avoided this.”

“Didn’t want to,” he said, sounding sulky.

“Well, come on, let’s rinse off and get you to bed. Looks like you’ll be the one calling in tomorrow.”

Tristan let me grab the showerhead and rinse us both clean. After we’d dried, he pulled on some sweats and climbed into bed. I held out a dose of the over-the-counter meds I’d been taking. “Might as well take some now.”

Tristan obediently swallowed the pills, then pulled me into his arms when I joined him in the bed.

“Sorry I got you sick,” I said.

“Don’t be,” he said. “Like I said, it was worth it.”

“You say that now…”

“I’ll say it always.” He sighed and nuzzled into my throat. “In sickness and in health, right? That’s how the saying goes.”

My heart skipped. That saying was a wedding vow, but I wasn’t about to point that out to Tristan. Maybe he meant it in that context and maybe he didn’t.

For now it was enough that he wanted be there for me, even when it meant running a fever.

CHAPTER 23

TRISTAN

SeattleLoner:

I’ll be there in ten to pick you up.

Z-man22:

I forgot to run Eric by the store to get a birthday gift for his friend’s party. I’ll have to be late. Sorry =(

SeattleLoner:

Np. I’ll get the gift on the way to you. Just text me what to pick up.

Z-man22:

Are you sure?

SeattleLoner:

What have we talked about, babe?

Z-man22:

Right, yeah, letting go and accepting help. Thank you, Tris! You’re the best.

SeattleLoner:

=)

“One present, already in a gift bag.”

I thrust it out, chest warming at the sight of Zach’s smile.

“You’re so sweet. I could have done this.”

“Zach,” I said in a warning tone. “Didn’t we go over this already?”

“Okay, but let me know how much it was and I’ll pay you back.”

“Don’t make me spank you.”

Zach laughed. “Sorry, Daddy,” he teased. “Come in. I just need to check that Eric has everything he needs.”

I rolled my eyes. He’d taken to calling me Daddy when I got bossy, but Zach still needed reminding that he didn’t have to take on the world by himself. He had gotten better at including me in his daily life and accepting the help I offered over the past couple of weeks, but it was a big change for him.

Zach carried the gift to the coffee table. “Eric, come tell Tris thank you for picking up this gift!”

Eric popped his head out of his bedroom doorway a minute later. “Thanks, man.”

“No problem.”

“Are you sure you’ll be okay here alone?” Zach asked. “We could take you to brunch and just text your friend’s mom to pick you up there…”

“I’ll be fine,” Eric said. “I can stay alone for an hour. It’s not a big deal.”

Zach twisted his hands together. “You’ve never done it. What if there’s some kind of emergency?”

“I’ll call 9-1-1,” he said. “You made me a whole list of numbers to call if I had any problems.”

“Don’t cook anything while I’m gone. If you forget to turn off the oven, or you burn yourself, or—”

“Zach! I’m not cooking anything. I won’t decide to jump out a window, or play with knives, or drown in the bathtub. Cross my heart.”

“Oh god.” Zach looked positively woozy.

I stepped in. “Okay, Eric’s fine. He’s just going to chill and game until he hears the doorbell. Right?”

“Right,” Eric said.

Zach looked tense, so I grasped his shoulders and rubbed a bit. “You can do this,” I murmured. “He’s a good kid. He’s smart. Independent. You’ve gotta let him grow up.”

Zach slumped back against my chest, sighing as I kneaded the tension from his shoulders.

“Okay,” he said. “Text me when they pick you up, Eric.”

“Okay.”

“I mean it,” he said sternly. “No text and this never happens again.”

“I will,” Eric said. “Just chill.”

I chuckled as Zach huffed with annoyance. “I’ll try to keep him chill. You just text when you leave.”

“Got it.”

I used my hold on Zach’s shoulders to turn him toward the front door and nudged him into a slow walk. “He’s going to be fine, babe.”

“Easy for you to say.”

I paused. “Do you want me to call Celeste? I can tell her we’ll be an hour late. We talked, and you said you wanted to give Eric a little more space to be independent, but if you changed your mind…”

“No.” Zach smiled weakly. “He needs this. So do I. I’ve been holding on too tight.”

I nodded. “He won’t be here long. It’s a good test run.”

“Yeah.” Zach squared his shoulders and reached for the door. “I really want to get to know your friends better.”

Celeste had dropped by the coffee shop a couple of times since I introduced her, and she’d brought Levi with her, but this would be the first time Zach and I actually went out with them.

I was buzzing with excitement. I knew that Celeste already liked Zach a lot. She’d only raised concerns about me getting everything I needed from our relationship because she knew me so well, knew my tendency to passively take what I was given instead of asking for what I needed.

I had her to thank, really, for how strong Zach and I were as a couple now. I’d taken a risk, told him what I wanted to make this work, and he’d met me more than halfway.

He’d let me take charge when he was sick, then patiently took care of me when I’d caught the virus too. He didn’t even tell me it was my own fault when I whined about how bad I felt. That was true love, right there.

“I hope your friends like me,” Zach said when we had parked in front of Brekkie Bistro.

I scoffed. “Please. They already love you.”

“They don’t really know me.”

I took his hand as we rounded the car and headed for the door. “They know you make me happy. That’s more than pretty much any of my exes can say.”

Zach hesitated, eyes searching mine, as if looking for reassurance. But all he said was, “Well, I don’t have any exes, but you make me happy enough I hope I never do.”

I leaned in to kiss him, and the front door flew open.

“Seriously, Tristan?” Celeste wore a mock scowl and tapped her foot impatiently. “We’ve been waiting all this time to hang out with Zach, and you’re keeping him to yourself out here?”

I laughed. “Sorry. That was very selfish of me.”

She nodded decisively. “Sure was.”

Celeste wrapped an arm around Zach’s shoulders and led him inside, already talking his ear off about the great menu items at Brekkie but how none of them compared to the chocolate muffin at Roasted.

I wasn’t bothered that Celeste had just stolen my boyfriend. She was welcoming Zach into the fold, telling us both that he was one of us now, and my heart swelled as I clearly saw the future. One that included my life and Zach’s—and all our friends and family—blended for brunches and movie nights, for dinner dates and quiet nights in, for school events and household chores.

It was all there, just waiting to be experienced together.

A love that was full of responsibility and compromise. But also trust and loyalty. A love that was messy sometimes, inconvenient at others.

Most of all, a love that was real.

CHAPTER 24

ZACH

Brunch with Tristan’s friends was fun. Once Eric texted me that he was with his friend, I’d even been able to relax.

Most of Tristan’s friends worked in the same field, and it would have been easy to feel out of my depth as a college dropout who served coffee for a living, but Tristan’s arm over my shoulder, Celeste’s obvious approval, and Levi’s easy charm—you could tell that guy worked in sales—kept me anchored.

The food was delicious too, but I ate light, not used to a big meal in the morning.

“I can’t believe you didn’t try the crepes.” Heather, a petite brunette who gave off vibes of a pixie with her big eyes and cute upturned nose, had spent fifteen minutes extolling their virtues.

“Guess you’re just not as good of a salesman as me,” Levi joked. “Sorry, I mean, salesperson.”

I’d ordered the lemon-raspberry scone recommended by Levi, a side of fruit, and coffee.

“Excuse you, I’m the best in the division, man or woman,” Heather returned. “I have the award to prove it.”

“You hold on to the award from last year, because this year it’s mine,” Levi shot back with a wink.

“I didn’t mean to start some kind of sales war,” I said with a nervous chuckle. “I’m sure the crepes are fabulous, but honestly, all I need is the coffee.”

“High praise from a barista,” Celeste said.

Tristan grinned. “Not just a barista, but the manager of Roasted. He knows what he’s about.”

The obvious pride in Tristan’s voice countered any insecurities I’d felt about my level of education or career.

After we left, we went for a long walk to burn off some calories. Unlike me, Tristan had indulged in a huge serving of caramel-pecan pancakes.

“What time does Eric get home?” he asked as we meandered our way back down the sidewalk toward the car.

“Around 4, I think.” I checked my phone. “It’s 2:30 now.”

He wiggled his eyebrows. “Plenty of time.”

Heat rushed into my face. “Do you mean…?” I lowered my voice. “During the day?”

Tristan laughed. “Is that a problem? We’re like parents, right? We have to take alone time where we can get it.”

My heart swelled to hear Tristan refer to himself that way. He really was all-in on this relationship. So was I. More so every day. My fears of becoming too reliant on Tristan became irrelevant once I realized I loved him.

The inevitable had happened, and it would be devastating to lose him, but I couldn’t shut off my emotions and never care about anyone again. And the more he stepped in and helped me out, the more I realized that having a partner gave me more time and energy for Eric, not less.

That kind of love and support made the risk one I was more than willing to take.

Tristan didn’t waste any time once we got back to the house. He shut the door, pressed me up against it, and kissed me with an intensity that left me breathless.

“Tell me what you want,” he murmured as he moved his lips to my neck.

My head was still spinning from the fiery kiss. “You,” I managed. “In bed.”

“That’s a start,” he said with a sexy grin.

Tristan took my hand and led me to the bedroom, as if it was his home instead of mine. But then he’d stayed over every night since I’d gotten sick, and already, it felt as if he’d always been here: in my house, in my bed, in my heart.

We kissed and stripped, and when we were both naked on the bed, Tristan levered up on his elbows to gaze down at me. “You’re the most beautiful guy.”

I blushed, because of course I did.

“You’re the hot one.”

He smiled. “I don’t know about that.” He ran a hand down my neck, trailing a fingertip over my collarbone, before resting his palm over my chest. “This blush you’re rocking is pretty hot.”

I laughed, embarrassed. “Stop.”

He cocked his head. “Do you want me to stop? I thought maybe you ate so light at brunch because you had something else in mind…”

My blush went supernova. “Maybe,” I mumbled.

“Don’t be shy with me, Zach. I’ll give you everything you want, but I need to know what it is.”

I forced myself to meet his eyes. “Yeah,” I said softly. “I want you to fuck me.”

He groaned, dropping his head on my shoulder.

“What?” I asked with a laugh.

“So sexy to hear you say it,” he said, breath hot against my bare skin. “I’ve been wanting this for so fucking long.”

“Me too. So much.”

Tristan kissed me again, but it wasn’t urgent or rushed, it was thorough. He pinned me down with his body and teased me with his tongue until I was panting and squirming, desperate to ease the tension coiled inside me.

I lifted my hips, trying to get leverage to rub against him. “Tris, please…”

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“I need more.”

Tristan eased back. “Turn over.”

I rolled onto my front, trembling a little with excitement. Finally, Tristan would be inside me.

“We don’t need a condom unless you want,” I said, my face half buried in the pillow. “Since, you know… first time.”

“I’ll make it good.” Tristan kissed my shoulder blade. “Thanks for trusting me. I haven’t been with anyone else since my last test.”

My heart quickened as his cock brushed the back of my thigh, reminding me of the shower sex we’d had. The act had imitated fucking so closely that it had been a huge turn-on and made me even more curious about the real thing.

Tristan lifted my hips, and I got my knees under me, feeling exposed as he parted my cheeks.

I took a breath and tried to remain relaxed. I had used toys enough to know what to expect: the stretch, the burn, the fullness, and then finally the pleasure.

Wetness touched my rim, waking up nerves and making me gasp. “Oh god…”

It wasn’t the cold lube I’d expected but a warm, slick tongue.

Tristan chuckled, breath gusting over my hole, and my whole body prickled with goosebumps. Despite my experience playing with myself—and even the few times Tristan had used his fingers on me during a blow job—I’d never felt anything like this.

The intensity of a tongue there was shocking.

It was both too much and not enough.

“Tris,” I gasped, unable to fight the urge to shove my ass back against his face.

He spread my hole with his thumbs, then pushed his tongue inside. I cried out into the pillow, instinctively muffling my yell.

Tristan pulled back. “Let me hear you. No one else is here.”

Then he went back to driving me out of my mind, placing sucking kisses to my rim while pushing his tongue in. I moaned so loudly my face flamed with more embarrassment, but that only seemed to encourage Tristan to go at me harder.

He didn’t stop until I was shaking and begging him to fuck me before I came from his tongue alone.

When he pressed two lubed fingers inside me, I nearly wept with relief. The rim job had been incredible, but also a torturous tease. I pushed back, taking his fingers deep and craving more.

“Your cock,” I said. “Give me your cock.”

“Somebody found his words,” he teased.

“Fucking fuck me before I kill you,” I growled out.

Tristan laughed, but thankfully took mercy on me. He withdrew his fingers, making me ache with emptiness, before placing the blunt head of his cock against my hole and pushing inside.

My body was primed and yearning, but he still felt huge.

There was the stretch and burn I’d anticipated. Tristan stroked my back. “Breathe, baby. Just relax. I’ll go slow.”

I closed my eyes, breathing deep, and slowly but surely, the burn faded to an ache, and the ache became a need.

“Move now,” I rasped. “I can take it.”

“Of course you can,” he murmured. “You’re made to take me. To take my cock.”

I groaned as he rocked his hips forward, inching deeper inside me. He moved in slow strokes, going deeper with each one, until his hips hit my ass.

I shuddered with the knowledge he was all the way inside me.

“You can go a little harder.”

“Yeah? Okay, then.”

Tristan’s next thrust was forceful, and it lit me up inside. I cried out, pushing back on the next one, and soon we’d found a frantic, pounding rhythm.

It still hurt, but it also felt so good. Necessary, even. There was enough pleasure to bury the discomfort, to transform it into something I craved.

“Fuck,” Tristan thrust in hard. “Can’t last.”

“Come then. Come inside me.”

The thought turned me on, the idea of Tristan losing control, losing himself inside my body. His thrusts became erratic, out of sync, and then he jerked and shouted, cock pumping hot cum inside me.

Without the condom, I could feel it, and I reached for my cock, needing my own release. Tristan batted my hand away, took hold of my shaft and stroked while his cock still twitched inside my body.

I came hard, the orgasm intense and long, my ass tightening around him again and again as my cock sprayed. I collapsed into my own wet mess when it ended, Tristan on top of me.

He was heavy, and hot, and sweaty.

I smiled into my pillow, too blissed out to care if he ever moved.

He rolled to the side and pulled me into his arms. “How was that?”

“Amazing.”

“Yeah? Everything you hoped your first time would be?”

I tilted my head to kiss his chin. “It was everything I thought it would never be. I expected to be alone for a long time, and part of me wasn’t sure I’d ever…”

Tristan’s gaze softened as he looked at me. “You never have to be alone again, Zach. You never did.”

“I see that now,” I said, throat tight. “Thank you for being patient with me.”

He smiled and kissed me. “You were worth the wait.”

CHAPTER 25

TRISTAN

Z-man22:

I got the corsage! I’ll be there soon.

SeattleLoner:

Cool. We’re almost ready to go.

Z-man22:

Did he comb his hair? Brush his teeth? He doesn’t know how to put on a tie! I can’t believe I had to work late today of all days =(

SeattleLoner:

Whoa, just breathe. I helped with the tie. He looks good. Get here, and you can see for yourself =)

Eric curled and uncurled his hands, crossed and uncrossed his arms, then reached for his tie.

“Do not touch that tie,” I ordered.

Eric froze with a guilty look. We’d had to fix the tie twice already because he kept tugging at it. I had no doubt it would last all of two minutes once he got to his school dance, but I was determined that he’d at least look good long enough to meet his date.

“I don’t know what to do with my hands,” he complained. “I feel weird in these clothes.”

I chuckled. “Welcome to manhood, kid.”

Eric wrinkled his nose. “Zach never wears a suit.”

“He would if he was going to a special occasion, right?”

Eric shrugged. “I guess. There hasn’t been a lot of that since Mom and Dad died.”

I put my hand on his shoulder and squeezed. “Yeah, I guess not.”

He glanced up at me. “But it’ll be easier now that you’re here.”

My chest warmed. Such a simple statement, and yet, Eric said it with such confidence and finality it was as meaningful as hearing him welcome me to the family.

He’d barely blinked when I started spending nearly every night here. When Zach had asked him how he felt about it, he’d said, “I don’t know what took you so long.”

The door opened and Zach rushed in, looking more frantic than I’d seen him in a while. I prided myself on making his life easier, not because I had to prove my worth to him, but because seeing him relax and smile had become my biggest goal in life. It didn’t hurt that he never took it for granted. Zach rewarded me with kisses and love, then turned around and did something just as thoughtful and generous for me.

Being in love with someone who also loved me back was an incredible thing. I understood the difference Celeste and Heather had spent years trying to point out to me.

I could even appreciate that guy’s comment at the bar the night I came across Eric’s post and replied, changing my life forever. You can’t force love, he’d said, and I’d been annoyed by his stating the obvious. But back then that’s all I’d been doing. Chasing an idea, a hope, and trying to see it in every man I dated.

Zach’s situation, his reluctance to date and then his need to take it slow, had ended up being the best thing for me. It allowed me to really get to know who he was as a person before dating him. It kept me from rushing our relationship.

Instead of chasing love and being disappointed, I found Zach—and through him, the love that had always eluded me.

“Oh, you look great!” he said to Eric. Then, “Don’t pull on your tie!”

Eric huffed an annoyed breath, and I laughed.

“He’s not entirely comfortable in his formalwear, but he looks good, huh?”

Zach’s gaze swept over Eric, taking in his carefully combed and gelled hair, his clean face, his…slouching posture. The kid definitely did not wear a suit particularly well, but Zach smiled softly.

“You did good.” He glanced at me. “Both of you.”

He held out a box containing a flower. “This is for your date.”

Eric took it and peered through the plastic. “She’s supposed to wear this?”

“On her wrist,” Zach said.

“I don’t know why they’re making this dance so formal. We’d have more fun in our regular clothes.”

“That’s what parties are for,” I said.

“Don’t give him any ideas,” Zach said with a shudder. “It’s bad enough my baby brother is going on his first date. How did this happen?”

Eric scoffed. “I almost asked Zoe out before this. We’re basically girlfriend/boyfriend already.”

Zach’s eyebrows shot up. “Is that right? So, what stopped you?”

Eric shrugged, looking cagey.

“Eric?” Zach prompted.

“It didn’t feel right, not when you needed me more.”

Ah, crap. This kid.

Zach shook his head, looking stunned. “Eric, you could have told me. I’d have been fine with it.”

“I know,” he said, sounding almost defensive. “You thought you had to give up everything, and that I should get anything I want. But that isn’t fair. That’s why I fixed it for you.”

Zach looked like he was about to combust, but I couldn’t help laughing. “So I’m just a fix so you can go on a date with a cute girl, huh?”

“It’s not like that,” Eric protested. “I wanted Zach to be happy, that’s all.”

Zach tugged him into a crushing hug that wrinkled Eric’s suit, but I wasn’t about to stop them. When Zach released him, I did the same.

“Besides,” Eric said. “Tristan helped me figure out what to say when I asked her out. I dunno if she’d have said yes last fall.”

“Oh, really?” Zach looked to me. “When did this happen?”

I shrugged. “A few nights ago when I was helping him with his math homework.”

It hadn’t taken long once I was at the house more—and Zach wasn’t intentionally keeping up walls between me and his obligations—for him to happily relinquish homework duties to me.

“So you didn’t want to ask me?” Zach said.

Eric scoffed. “Please. I helped you get a boyfriend or you’d still be single.”

“Ouch,” Zach said.

I grinned. “Harsh but true, huh?”

He shook his head with a smile. “I’m raising a little smartass.”

I put my arm over his shoulders. “Yeah, but at least he’s smart.”

The doorbell rang, and Eric sent us a panicked look. Yeah, he might play it cool, but the kid was nervous as hell.

We’d offered for Eric to meet Zoe at her house, but her mom had to go in for waitressing shift, so she was dropping her off on her way.

Zoe was a cute redhead, and I could totally see the appeal for Eric. She smiled brightly, seeming less nervous than him.

“Hey, Eric. Can you believe they’re making us dress up for this?”

Eric rolled his eyes. “I know, right? This tie is gagging me.”

She giggled. “These shoes are killing my feet. We should totally just go to the mall next time we go out.”

“Uh, y-yeah,” Eric stuttered, sounding as flustered as Zach had in our early days of dating. His face turned pink too. “Sounds cool.”

Zach held up his phone. “Okay, let’s get a photo.”

Eric and Zoe pulled identical faces at that, and yeah, these two were clearly a good match.

“Come on,” I urged. “You’ll like having this photo to look back on when you’re old like us.”

That got a giggle out of Zoe.

I heard Eric lean in and whisper, “My brother’s boyfriend. He’s cool, huh?”

Zach herded them together near the door and held up his phone. I stood behind him, watching as he made them pose and snapped about a hundred shots. Every time I looked at him, his smile was so large it made my heart melt.

Finally, Eric sent me a pleading look, and I took the phone from Zach. “All right, you’ve got plenty. Let’s get these kids to the dance before they turn into pumpkins.”

“But…”

“You have to let him go sometime,” I said softly for only Zach to hear.

He leaned against me with a sigh. “I can’t believe how fast he’s growing up.”

“He’ll always need you.”

Zach turned gleaming eyes on me. “And you,” he said. “We both need you.”

It was everything I thought I’d never hear, but I wasn’t sure it was strictly true. Zach had done a good job of raising Eric on his own. He’d worked hard and sacrificed to give his brother a good life long before I came into the picture.

No, they didn’t need me. But they wanted me anyway, and that was even better.

Just as I chose Zach and Eric to be my responsibility, they chose to let me into their family, and I was so damn lucky to have the love of both of them.

EPILOGUE

ZACH

Ten months later…

Tristan set down his fork with a sigh. “Damn, I love Greek food.”

I grinned. “Just what every boyfriend wants to hear on Valentine’s Day.”

“And you,” Tristan said. “That goes without saying.”

The server dropped off the check, and I checked my phone.

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Tristan said, guessing that I was checking for a text from Eric. What he didn’t know was why I was checking.

It wasn’t out of concern for Eric’s well-being. Not this time.

Tonight was a special night. After a year of texting, dating, and Tristan spending almost every night at our house, I was going to make it official by asking him to give up his lease and move in for good.

Eric was going to meet us for the big moment, though Tristan didn’t know it.

Flutters swamped my stomach.

I pocketed my phone. “You’re right. Eric is fine. Are you ready?”

Tristan hesitated, looking a little nervous. “Actually, there’s something I want to talk about before we go home. Something I’ve been thinking a lot about.”

“Can it wait?”

“Uh…”

“It’s just that I have a surprise for you, and if we don’t leave now, we’ll be late.”

“A surprise? Well, I can’t say no to that.”

I grinned and stood. “Come on. You can tell me in the car.”

“It’s not really a car conversation.”

A feeling of unease went through me. But Tristan wouldn’t bring up something bad on our anniversary date, right?

He seemed to read my concern. He smoothed the worried crinkle from my forehead. “It’s a good thing, I hope.”

“Okay, well in that case, I’ve got the perfect setting for it.”

We climbed into the car, and I navigated through the Seattle streets until the Space Needle loomed ahead of us.

Tristan looked at me. “Is that where…?”

“Seemed fitting,” I said with a smirk. “I thought this time we could actually have our romantic rendezvous inside.”

Tristan laughed. “This is perfect, Zach. Thank you.”

I had electronic tickets, so we bypassed the buy line and got into the elevator within only a few minutes—which was good since it was cold and drizzling out.

As we rode up with the group of visitors, Tristan went quiet. He began fidgeting with something in his pocket.

“You okay?” I asked. “You’re not afraid of heights or something?”

He laughed, and there was an oddly nervous edge to it. “No. Nothing like that. Just excited to have this moment with you.”

“It took us long enough, right?” I joked as the elevator doors finally opened and we all filed out.

“Just the right amount of time, I think,” Tristan said, taking my hand in his clammy one. He really was nervous, wasn’t he? I wondered if he’d guessed why I brought him here.

“Wow, look at that view,” he said.

We approached the windows from inside, though a few brave souls ventured onto the outdoor platform. The moon hung in the sky, Mount Rainier glinting on the horizon.

We slowly made our way around the building to get a peek at the dark waters of the Sound.

The view might have been better in daylight, but there was something magical about seeing the little buildings and houses all lit up below, creating a glittering landscape.

I spotted Eric out of my periphery and exhaled with relief. I was worried a little about getting the timing right.

I turned to Tristan, knowing it was now or never. “I didn’t bring you here just for the view. I have a question.”

He cleared his throat. “I have a question for you too.”

“Me first.”

I drew a shaky breath and pulled out a keychain with a little house that read Home Sweet Home. Attached to it was the front-door key to my house.

“You spend nearly every night at the house, and I miss you every single night you’re not there. It doesn’t feel like home without you, so…”

I held out the keychain and Tristan took it.

Eric stepped forward. “Will you move in with us?”

Tristan blinked. “Eric? Why is…” He looked between us. “Wait. Did you two plan this?”

I grinned. “Yeah. I figured it’d be harder for you to say no in front of my brother.”

Tristan laughed. “I’d never say no and you know it.”

I shrugged. “It seems only right he be here. It’s his home too, and we both want you there. So, how about you say yes and make it official? Move in with us?”

Tristan clenched his fist around the key and drew me into a quick kiss. “Yes. Of course, yes.”

We grinned at each other like idiots until Eric spoke up. “Didn’t you have a question too, Tristan?”

“Oh yeah, I nearly forgot,” I said. “What did you want to ask?”

He huffed a breath. “Way to put a guy on the spot, Eric.”

My brother shrugged. “Just making sure you don’t chicken out.”

I glanced between them. “Okay, now I feel like I’m missing something.”

Tristan smiled nervously. “Maybe my question should wait…”

“Man up, Tris,” Eric ordered.

Tristan gave a helpless laugh, and to my shock, he sank down to one knee in front of me. He reached into that same pocket he’d been fidgeting with in the elevator ride and withdrew a ring box.

“Zach Martin, I think you know I love you and Eric more than anything. Before I met you, I wanted to find love so badly I was looking in all the wrong places. You showed me I didn’t even really know what love meant. Not until I saw the way you were with Eric did I fully grasp the depth of your love and what it could mean for my life.” He wet his lips. “I’ll happily move in with you and never leave, no matter what your answer is, but—”

“Yes,” I blurted.

“Zach!” Eric protested as Tristan surged up to kiss me. “You didn’t even let him ask!”

“Sorry,” I said with a laugh. “Ask me.”

Tristan pressed his forehead to mine. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” I whispered into the space between us.

Tristan slipped the white-gold band onto my trembling finger, then kissed me again. I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding tight, as he kissed me for so long I forgot we weren’t alone.

Then Eric slammed into us, hugging us both from the side, and cheers and applause erupted from the other people in the room, including my friend Austin, who’d given Eric a ride over to meet us.

“A proposal on Valentine’s Day at the Space Needle,” he said dryly. “You two could be the stars of your own romance movie.”

“Too cheesy?” Tristan asked.

“Just cheesy enough,” I countered.

Austin grinned. “You did exactly the right thing. Zach deserves all the mush.”

“That’s right,” I said. “But you’re next.”

“Ha, not likely. I’ve got bigger problems to worry about than love.”

“Like what?”

He waved a hand. “Nope. It’s time to celebrate. We’ve got everyone gathered back at your place.”

My eyes widened. I turned to Tristan, realizing suddenly that Eric must have known about the proposal plan, and clearly Austin did too.

“How many people did you tell?”

He chuckled. “Uh, just Eric, but then…”

“Eric.”

“What?” He tried to look innocent. “I just figured you’d want your friends there to celebrate. It wasn’t like anyone was going to say no.”

I shook my head. “You’re impossible!”

Austin and Eric rode back together, meeting us at the house. The second we walked inside, noise erupted.

“I’m so happy for you!” Celeste cried as she swept me into a hug.

“Congrats,” Jordan said, awkwardly patting Tristan’s arm. “Treat him right.”

“I will,” Tristan said.

Somehow, Eric had managed to assemble not just my friends, but Tristan’s, too. Levi and Heather were beaming at us from near the sofa, Becca tackled us with hugs and kisses, and Ellis bounced and clapped his hands. For a big bulky guy, he was so adorbs. A total himbo, but smart as heck, since apparently he was headed for law school.

Even Skylar was there, looking happier than I’d seen him in a long time as he waved from the laptop screen, joining the party virtually from his vacation home in the Ozarks. He’d left Drake behind, thank goodness.

For a few minutes, Tristan and I were hit with wave after wave of well wishes, but eventually everyone calmed down and I noticed Austin leaning against a wall, looking less than cheerful.

“You know, if you wanted to marry me, you could have asked first.”

His gaze flew to me. “What?”

I grinned and nudged him over, taking a spot against the wall beside him. “You’re moping at my engagement party, so I just figured…”

He laughed. “Very funny. You know I’m straight.”

“Woman problems?” I guessed.

“Nah. I’d have to be dating a woman for that.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Spill it then.”

“I don’t want to be a downer on your special night.”

“Come on, Austin. You’ve all been there for me. Let me return the favor.”

He sighed and dragged his fingers through his hair. “It’s just business stuff. There’s this competitor moving in across the street, and it’s stressing me the hell out.”

“Oh no. But your store is so awesome.”

He shrugged. “I guess, but I’m a small fish in a big fucking sea, you know? My shop isn’t in the best spot, and I don’t always have the big bucks to compete. But it was my uncle’s place…”

I nodded. “And you want to carry it on. I know.”

Tristan slipped his arms around me from behind. “Hey, everything okay over here? You two are looking serious.”

“Yeah, just talking with Austin about some stuff.”

“Oh? Want me to leave you to it?” Tris asked, because of course he was so sweet he’d let me ignore our engagement party to comfort a friend.

Austin hitched up a grin. “Nah, it’s cool. Go celebrate and shit. I’ve got an online friend if I need to vent more. You should enjoy your party.”

“Watch out,” Tristan teased, “I hear that’s how sappy romances start.”

“You two would know,” Austin shot back with a smirk.

“Yeah,” I said, leaning my head on Tristan’s shoulder. “You should be so lucky.”

Tristan kissed the side of my head and squeezed me a little tighter. He didn’t have to say a word. I felt it in every gesture.

His love. His support. His unwavering strength.

It had been there all along, just waiting for me to reach out and claim it.

I’d never tell Eric, but my little brother had saved me from myself. By playing matchmaker, he’d pushed me out of my comfort zone and into Tristan’s arms.

Which is exactly where I planned to stay.

What’s up with Austin and this business rival? Not to mention this mysterious online friend. That almost sounds like the plot of a movie…

Find out in You’ve Got Male!

Curious about Skylar? Take a closer look at his life in Swallow Cove, a series about a small Ozark lake town. Skylar will get the HEA he deserves in Book 2!

THANK YOU FOR READING!

I hope you enjoyed my first Rom-Com Reboot! It was a lot of fun to take a classic Hollywood premise and give it my own M/M spin. I have two, and possibly three, more stories to come in this series!

I have plans for Austin, Jordan, and Ellis, so stay tuned!

I’m also working on a series of longer books set in Swallow Cove, a small town in a more remote area of the Lake of the Ozarks. You’ll spot Skylar (Zach’s remote friend) making a new home there, as well as colorful locals, a great friend group, and quirky lake puns! I am looking forward to introducing you to this new world sometime this spring.

If you don’t want to wait, I’m now giving early access to draft chapters as part my KoFi memberships. Other benefits include advance ebook copies, signed paperbacks, and swag! I hope you’ll join the fun!

Writing a good book takes the talents of many people, including my author friends Jacki James and Beth Bolden, who help me untangle plot dilemmas and trust my instincts; my editor, Rebecca; my cover designer Morningstar Ashley; and all the KoFi and FB group members who remind me of why I keep writing, even when it gets hard.

I wouldn’t have this amazing authoring life without you, the reader, so thank you so much for reading and sharing the word about my books!

Xoxo

DJ

ALSO BY DJ JAMISON

Rules We Break

Don’t Date A DILF: As a teacher, I live by this rule. But when matchmaking drives me to fake date Hunter Rhodes, resisting this man may be the one test I can’t pass.

Don’t Mess With The Ex: I’ve lived by one simple rule for the last twenty years. But when Laurence Kensington III shows up to tell me we’re still married, we’ll both be put to the test.

Don’t Bang Your Stepbro: I’m not one for rules, but not hooking up with your stepbrother is kind of a no-brainer. Until I wake up with him in a Vegas hotel wearing nothing but a wedding ring.

Games We Play

Two Truths and a Lyle: When our friends use a party game to drop a truth bomb that my BFF and I are in love, the drunken kiss that follows opens my eyes to feelings I never thought possible.

Never Have I Evan: When a party game reveals I still have my V-card, it’s embarrassing. But when the sexy new guy in town wants to coach me in the art of flirtation, it’s game on.

Truth or Darren: When I push my ex-girlfriend’s brother too far with a dare, I’m the one to pay the price. A very sexy but utterly confusing tongue kiss with a guy.

7 Minutes in Kevin: When my dream man steps into the closet during a make-out game, I jump at the opportunity to get my hands on him. It might be a terrible idea, but how often will I get a chance to kiss my friend’s sexy dad?

Mistle-Joe Kisses: A bit of mistletoe sparks an amazing night between coworkers. But will the prickly office manager Augustus bend his rules for love? A Games We Play/Rules We Break cross-over novella.

Thrust Into Love

Swiped By My Dad’s Best Friend: Cooper is a frat boy, general screwup, and…Daddy’s boy?

Matched By My Rival: Simon is an ex-football star, a bitter rival, and…falling for the enemy?

Tapped By My Roommate: Ethan is a shy geek, newly bi-curious, and...propositioning his gay roommate?

Sexted By Santa: Christian Kringle is a college professor, reluctant Santa, and...fake dating his neighbor?

Marital Bliss

Surprise Groom: Caleb is shocked to learn his family could lose Bliss Island Resort—unless he can pull off a marriage of convenience with an investor’s gay, go-go dancing son.

Wrangling a Groom: Wyatt and Diego made a childhood pact to get married one day. But they grew up, life got messy, and young love wasn’t enough. When Diego visits the ranch, they have one more chance…Can they get it right in time to fulfill that marriage pact after all?

Nobody’s Groom: A sexy ranch hand and a naïve country boy ignite each other’s tempers—and passions—in this bisexual awakening, cowboy romance.

Faking a Groom: Avery Kinkaid has been repressing his deepest urges for as long as he can remember. But when his father pushes him too far, he’s ready to call his bluff. All he needs is a groom, and his first love is the perfect man for the role of fake fiancé.

Hearts and Health

Heart Trouble: Nurse Ben Griggs is leery of trusting his heart to anyone, let alone a thrill-seeking patient, but he agrees to a series of dates, if only to prevent more injuries!

Bedside Manner: Zane Kavanaugh is still recovering from a traumatic coming out, but he finds himself drawn to the calm, collected, much older ER doctor who treated him.

Urgent Care: Surgeon Trent Cavendish returns to his hometown—and his first love. Xavier isn’t the kid he remembers, but a sexy man in lace and a competent nursing student. And neither version of the man is going to make it easy for Trent to find his second chance at love.

Room for Recovery: When Beau is bullied, teen heartthrob Wade comes heroically to his rescue. But their growing attraction won’t come without painful truths.

Surprise Delivery: A thrill-seeking doctor teaches a workaholic administrator how to live in the moment before the responsibility of a baby arrives, and in return he finds love after loss.

Orderly Affair: A bi-curious orderly explores with a geeky lab tech, but between Ian’s reluctance to come out and Callum’s annoying ex, they’ll have to work for their HEA in this hookups-to-lovers romance.

Operation Makeover: A cute but insecure X-ray tech and a gorgeous hairdresser join forces for a makeover that brings them both a love they never saw coming.

Rapid Response: A firefighter discovers a new side to his sexuality with a bossy male paramedic. Their chemistry is red-hot, but Sean will have to come to terms—not just with his attraction to a man, but with his desperate need to please.

Standalone Romances

Grinch Kisses: Griff is a festival planner who has lost his love for the holidays, but that all changes when his sister brings him an unexpected gift, one that is tall, brand, and handsome…

Yours for the Holiday: Remy loves to hate his brother’s best friend. Or maybe he hates to love him. Either way, sparks fly when the two share a room during a holiday vacation.

All I Want is You: One kiss under the mistletoe destroyed a friendship. Will another Christmas kiss remake it into something better?

Five Fake Dates: How many fake dates will it take to decide if your best friend should be your boyfriend, and whether one kiss was a fluke or only the beginning of a bisexual discovery? Five, obviously!

Love by Number: Aidan doesn’t have the best record with relationships, but he’s had a lifelong love affair with baseball. When he needs a ride to the World Series, though, he must rely on a sexy artist who is as spontaneous as Aidan is rigid. Will their differences add up to love?

Want more?

This is just a sampling of my books. See my full catalogue

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

DJ Jamison writes romances about everyday life and extraordinary love featuring a variety of queer characters, from gay to bisexual to asexual. DJ grew up in the Midwest in a working-class family, and those influences can be found in her writing through characters coping with real-life problems. DJ spent more than a decade in the newspaper industry before chasing her first dream to write fiction. She’s spent a lifetime reading and continues to avidly devour her fellow authors’ books each night. She lives in Kansas with her husband, two sons, one snake, and a sadistic cat named Birdie.

DJ is active in her Facebook group, DJ and Company, as well as Queer Romance Fan Club.

You can also connect with her on other social media platforms.