THE AERIALIST

A BLACK CAT CIRCUS NOVEL

MORGAN LYSAND

Copyright © 2023 by Morgan Lysand

The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except for the use of quotations in a book review.

All brand names and product names used in this book are trade names, service marks, trademarks and registered trademarks of their respective owners. The publishers and the book are not associated with any product or vendor mentioned in this book. None of the companies referenced within the book have endorsed the book.

Book Cover by Coffin Print Designs

Copy Editing by Jen Sharon

CONTENT WARNING

This book contains stalking, safeword ignored in the past resulting in SA (off page, spoken about), past child abuse, Brighton accidentally hung himself trying to do an aerial trick as a kid (talked about, not in detail), kidnapping, harm to animal/animal abuse (not detailed)

CONTENTS

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Epilogue - 6 Months Later

About the Author

ONE

BRIGHTON

Molting was the worst. 

I’d had a two week long headache and even my bones ached. All I wanted was to stay in my raven form for the next couple of days, to let the ordeal run its course. Or to stay holed up in my travel trailer and read, with copious amounts of iced sweet tea, surrounded by cold packs. Anything, so I didn’t have to move—or think too hard—in my human form. 

Seven—or Sev—the owner and ringmaster of Black Cat Circus, understood. He gave all avian shifters their molting time off. It was more or less a precaution because in the beginning of our molts, we were no better than drunks. It was an embarrassing few days. Luckily, by the end, we were mostly just tired and grumpy. 

The wind ruffled my feathers as I flew high above the Ferris wheel in the early evening. Everyone that milled around the carnival was so tiny. I was out of tonight’s performance because of my yearly molt. 

Annoyance flooded my system. My breaths came faster, and I dove, seeking the adrenaline. Performing was in my blood, but there was nothing I could to do for the next several days. Nothing but fly and play with Peanut. 

As soon as I was in range, the black cat swatted at me. Not harshly. We were friends. Okay, besties. Peanut was a cat, but not a cat. No one believed me when I told them, but whatever. I knew what I was talking about. Ravens used illusion magic, and I saw right through the spell wrapped around my little kitty friend. I just couldn’t figure out what the magic was. Why the hell had he been turned into a cat? It’s not like he could tell me.

I hopped to the ground. We communicated in head bobs, and he followed me when I took flight again to go home. It was time to get ready.

Earlier that day, my parents had called, frantic. Zander, my father’s best friend since childhood, and the man I had crushed on since forever, had decided to retire after twenty-two years in the Marine Corps and join the circus. I laughed at their silly joke, but they were serious. Zander would be here in a few hours and I had to pick him up from the airport, then play host until they got back from their month-long celebration. 

A celebration which still had three weeks left.

I still couldn’t wrap my head around my parents wanting to retire from circus life. Circus was everything. Being an aerialist was almost as good as flying in my raven form. Not that I hated my human form or anything. I just preferred being in the air any way I could.

I sailed into the open window of my trailer and skidded across the dinette table until I landed on the neon blue shag rug.

A sad cry escaped my beak. I was absolutely not ready to shift to my human form. The transformation started with my bones lengthening. Taking a deep breath, I willed my raven to the back of my mind. Feathers shed. Hands fisted while I moaned and writhed. Tears leaked down my cheeks. A sob ripped from my throat. Usually, the shift was much faster—done in a blink—but during a molt, it took forever.

At the end of my change, I lay naked among a field of black feathers. My breaths came harsh as I acclimated to the chilly air of my trailer. The cooler temperature eased the transition. In human form, my molt made me run too hot.

I ignored my phone vibrating on the counter. I’d left it there on silent before I went out. Every time it rang, my stomach twisted. I knew it wasn’t my parents this time, and hadn’t been for hours.

I gave myself a few moments to stare at the whirling ceiling vent while I settled back into being human. But Peanut’s soft meows through the window urged me to my feet. Usually, he let himself in. 

I wasn’t sure how, but I was convinced that, along with being turned into a cat, he could work some sort of teleportation magic. Again, everyone else thought I was a weirdo. But I saw the evidence. One minute Peanut was there, the next he wasn’t, and the door wasn’t involved at all. And he wasn’t getting in through the siding, Mom and Dad had the trailer sealed tight from pests.

I opened the door wide enough for him to get in, but not enough to flash my dangly bits to the rest of the circus lot. 

The microwave clock said I still had a little over ninety minutes before I had to be at the airport. I would spend half that time driving. This was becoming a long night already, but I agreed to help. I wouldn’t be so pissy about it if I wasn’t on the tail end of my molt. In fact, dare I say I might be excited.

Peanut wove around my feet as I paced. The trailer was small, but I had no complaints. One end had an almost queen sized bed, the other a bathroom with a shower. Between the two was the dinette that turned into another bed, a closet, two burner propane stove with a microwave underneath, and a double sink. 

My parents purchased the trailer about five years ago. I had wondered if they knew they’d be retiring so soon after or if they purchased it with me in mind. They’d given it to me, title and all, before they started their trip. In that time, I’d made it my own. Neon throw pillows in the shapes of stars, hearts, and rainbows lived on the dinette seats. I had a hot pink comforter on top of which my stuffed unicorn named Twinkle laid. And the bedroom divider curtain I painted with pink and green stars. I loved the shag rug that ran almost the length of the trailer. So soft under my toes. 

I kneeled to clean up my mess of feathers stuck in said shag rug, making my knees scream. Just a few more days and all the pain would be gone. That was how it worked. A few weeks a year to molt, and then I was fine. Nothing like the six or so months it took natural ravens to molt, and I was grateful for that. Our molts were different in several ways, not just length of time. Raven shifter magic also molted and replenished. Hence why my shift was so slow. By the time I was through the woods, so to speak, I would be stronger with magic as well. The molt was worth all the pain and annoyance, even if I hated it.

Peanut mewed and rubbed against my leg when I dumped my fallen feathers in the trash under the sink. As a kid, I used to mourn each one. I thought it meant I was losing magic, that once I was featherless, I’d be simply human. Fortunately, that wasn’t how things worked. 

I scrubbed my hands over my arms, removing yet more feathers. Then rubbed through my hair to gather the remaining ones. It all got dumped in the trash.

Peanut hopped onto the dinette table and meowed again as he looked longingly to the overhead cabinet that held the cat treats. Chuckling, I grabbed him a few and lined the snacks on the table. 

“I have nothing to wear.” 

He crunched his treats while I walked to my closet. I’d covered the door with a mirror. My black hair was a chaotic mess. A soft flush blushed my pale skin from the shift. I was slender, with long strong limbs. A bit of muscle definition. 

The last time I saw Zander in person, I was sixteen and in a very awkward stage of growing up. You’d think a shifter wouldn’t have to deal with human puberty, but lucky me. With all the makeup I wore as an aerialist in the circus, my skin decided to erupt. I was all gangly limbs, and I was molting then, too. 

It was not pretty. 

And ugh, my voice cracked. Other boys my age had already gone through all of that. But raven shifters aged slower. Again, lucky me. 

To combat my self-consciousness, I dove into skincare, and my skin’s been flawless ever since. I didn’t think I could take being twenty-two with bad skin. Call me vain, but whatever. And while I could use illusions, I’d rather just take care of my skin.

I groaned, looking through my clothes. “I really have nothing to wear.” 

Peanut mewled and licked his paw, ignoring my plight. He was definitely judging me. He hopped down from the table and settled into the box underneath one of his favorite spots.

My phone screen lit on the kitchen counter. I didn’t want to talk to Jason. I had nothing to say.

Knowing I’d get hot, I yanked a pink crop top from the rack and slid it on before grabbing boxer briefs from the drawer below. I chose black skinny jeans and shimmied them up before dropping into bed to rest. I shouldn’t get too overheated if I wore flip-flops.

“Do you think Zander remembers me?” 

Peanut pounced onto my bed with a soft prrumph. I scratched him behind the ears and he preened, showing the white heart on his chest. 

“I’m really nervous. I shouldn’t be. Zander’s been nothing but kind. Which is great. But how the hell do I tell my dick to calm down?” 

I swore Peanut’s brow lifted. 

“Don’t judge me. You’ve seen him. Ugh. I probably haven’t even crossed his mind in the last six years. Which is fine, I guess. I mean, why would I?” Even I heard how sad I sounded at the thought.

“Or if I have crossed his mind, it was probably something like, ew. Yeah, just ew.” 

A rumbly purr vibrated my hand. 

It wasn’t like I’d waited for Zander or anything. I had my fun, popped my cherry, dated a few guys, found a few kinks. But there was something about Zander that still called to me. Maybe it was the twenty-one-year age gap? Or maybe it was the taboo of him being my dad’s best friend that appealed to me? Or it could simply be because he was hot. He had this protective vibe about him I could appreciate. Like he’d cut a bitch if they got too close to what was his. 

I sighed. “Okay. The thing is. I’ve never been alone with him. I don’t know how to talk to him. I should be able to talk to him, right? I’m a performer. I talk to people all the time. People tell me to shut my trap constantly. I can’t help it!” I flopped onto my back and spread my arms wide. “But Zander’s… Zander.”

Peanut climbed on my chest like a living weighted blanket, and calm sank into my skin.

We lay there for a few breaths before my heart pounded faster. “Oh, heck.” I sat quickly, clutching a startled Peanut. Sweat beaded on my forehead. “It’s just going to be the two of us in my tiny trailer unless he decides he wants a hotel.”

Peanut patted my cheek with his paw as if to tell me everything would be okay. Or remind me I needed to go.

“It’s fine. Everything is fine.”

I pushed to my feet, then settled Peanut back on the bed. “Okay. Okay. I got this. We can do this.”

Peanut nodded. 

“Hold down the fort.” 

Peanut went back to licking his paws, and I chuckled as I grabbed my phone, then my keys from the hook at the door, slid on my flip-flops, and left.

As soon as my foot hit the first metal step down, I knew something was wrong. I jerked my head up to see my fear realized, and my stomach twisted. 

Jason. 

I’d been ignoring his calls, hoping the problem would go away. That was never how anything worked, though.

His muscular frame leaned against my black pickup truck. His pale blue eyes tracked my movements. Peanut shot out of the trailer and ran before I could shut the door to lock it. I didn’t blame him. 

Jason straightened his posture and moved to step towards me. Thank goodness for the field of grass between us.

Three months and he still couldn’t get the hint we were done before we had even gotten started.

“Hey, baby doll,” he drawled sweetly with his thick southern accent.

“Don’t call me baby doll. What are you doing here?” 

Jason held up his hands. His big, stupidly sexy hands. “Just wanna talk. Give me two minutes. That’s all I ask. We can go someplace priv—”

“Not a chance,” I said. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“There’s plenty to talk about, baby doll.”

“No, there’s not.” I crossed my arms and stood my ground. Jason went too far the last time we had sex, and that was saying something when it came to what I liked. I couldn’t trust him, especially since he couldn’t even follow the simple request not to call me baby doll.

I was just about ready to stomp towards my truck when Coal and Drake strolled on up. Then Peanut trotted on by. His aura glowed purple, totally different from a true cat. No one else saw it, not even my parents. But they didn’t practice illusion magic as often as I did.

“Is there a problem here?” Drake’s smooth, deep voice rumbled over me. As the circus’s daredevil, he had a presence. Plus, the gauges in his ears made him look more intimidating than he was. He wore his signature tank top and a pair of jeans.

Coal—our firedancer—followed close behind. He always looked too hot in his hoodie in the California heat, but it worked for him. The apparel gave him an air of mystery.

I relaxed as the men stalked toward us.

“Yeah, I wanna talk to baby doll and he’s—”

“My name’s Brighton, you ass.” I stomped closer, but Drake snagged my arm and pulled me back.

“We got this, little birdy. You have somewhere you need to be?” Drake asked. 

I nodded. “Unfortunately, yeah.” 

“Head on out.” Drake nodded towards my truck.

I hated the idea that Drake and Coal were about to fight my battle, but I really needed to go.

“Thanks guys, I owe you one.” 

Coal tipped his head. “Don’t mention it.” 

I gave Jason a wide berth, but he tried to grab me. Drake was faster.

“Next beer’s on me,” I yelled as I ran to my truck.

“Make it a pitcher,” Drake responded as he and Coal circled around Jason.

“You got it!”

The truck beeped as I unlocked it. Opening the door, the step bars slid out, and I launched myself into the seat. At five foot eight, I was too short to climb in without assistance.

Jason and Drake argued. Squeezing the wheel, I pressed the ignition button and headed off to pick up Zander. I hoped no one got hurt because of me. Coal didn’t usually get into things, but he looked damn intimidating if you didn’t know better. And Drake could wear a person down until they were laughing with him.

A few miles down the road, my phone buzzed. This time, a text my truck read out loud.

Jason

See ya soon, baby doll.

TWO

ZANDER

Hurry up and wait. That had been my life for so long, I was anxious for the wait to be over. I was ready to see my family. My best friend Raymond, his wife Sally, and their adorable son, Brighton.

Wait, how old was Brighton now? It’d been so long since I’d seen him I couldn’t even remember. How old was he when I saw him last? He’d always been off to some summer camp or something, so it had been a while. I would find out in a few hours. Was he even old enough to drive? Must be.

Raymond sounded surprised when I called and told him I’d retired. I guessed it was a surprise. I’d given twenty-two years of my life to the Marine Corps. Everyone thought I’d be a lifer, but it wasn’t meant to be. It was time to move on and what better new adventure than to join the circus? I just miscalculated and retired too early. They wouldn’t be back for three weeks, so I was stuck with the kiddo. Brighton was sweet though, shy, bookish, nerdy. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be too awkward. I could hook up with people on apps if he wanted me out of his hair. 

Ray and Sally made circus life sound like a blast. And why wouldn’t I want to be closer to my friends—family? I had many skills we could put to use. I’d be excellent at security. And if they needed another act, I was a certified sharp shooter. Circuses still have sharp shooters, right? No idea. Right then, at that moment, I had another adventure to pursue. 

It had been one hundred sixty-three days since I’d had sex and it made me cranky. I’d gone from my retirement ceremony right to the airport to call and surprise Ray, only to be told I’d have to wait to see him. Everything was fine. I rolled with whatever came my way. But the flight was delayed, and I couldn’t reach Raymond or Sally to tell them I’d be about two hours later than anticipated. For whatever reason, I hadn’t thought to ask for Brighton’s number when they told me he’d be the one to pick me up. I felt bad, but there was nothing I could do. Nothing but maybe join the mile high club. 

My seat mate had been giving me eyes since the waiting room. When it came to guys, he was my type. Gym rat with a mouth that looked like he could suck dick for days. If he was willing, so was I.

He swiped his curly brown bangs from his eyes. Licked his bottom lip as he read the inflight magazine. Hot. 

I leaned in to whisper, “I’ve got a condom if you wanna follow through with those signals you’ve been sending all day.” 

Hottie swallowed, and his big blue eyes took me in. I was such a sucker for pretty eyes. 

“You’re gay?” he croaked.

“Pan, Hottie. You wanna do this?”

“Really?” He dipped his head and lowered his voice. “I didn’t know this sorta thing actually happened on airplanes.”

“I’m completely serious.” I let my voice rumble in a way I knew made panties drop.

He walked his fingers over the dusting of fine, dark red hair on my arm. “Meet ya in two.” He tipped his head toward the back of the plane, then stood and practically power walked to our rendezvous point. 

This would be fun. I usually relied on an app when I was stateside, so hooking up with someone without seeing a profile was great. I didn’t need specifics. 

Giving him till the count of five, I took my time before pushing to my feet. Never in all my years as a Marine had I done anything to risk my career. Good thing I was retired now. But once a Marine, always a Marine. Oorah!

The bathroom door read vacant, which I knew not to be the case. I tapped once, and Hottie popped his head out. I looked around before stepping inside. Hottie’s arm looped under mine to lock the door behind me. His hands roamed my body. But sharp banging startled us apart before we could get going. 

“Oh, no you don’t!” The door rattled. “Not on my watch. Get out of there.” 

Hottie furrowed his brows. “Guess the fun’s over.” 

“I said, open up!”

“Sounds like.”

Hottie opened the door. A deep blush colored the back of his neck. He must not be used to a very public walk of shame.

“You—” The flight attendant pointed at me. “Back to your seat. And you—” The sharp finger pointed to Hottie. “Sit down.” They waved to a seat in the back. 

Hottie sagged into his new spot and made the universal sign for call me. Not that I had his number. What a disappointing turn of events. I made my way to my assigned seat and buckled in to stare out the dark window. I wondered what Ray and Sally were up to?

* * *

When we finally landed, it was even later than anticipated. I could only hope Brighton forgave me. Everyone shuffled to their feet and stretched. 

My libido still raged annoyingly strong, but my weariness and desire for a bed pulled stronger. Plus, it really would be rude to make Brighton wait any longer for me just so I could get some action. I avoided making eye contact with Hottie as I grabbed my bag from the overhead and shuffled into the aisle to disembark the plane. 

I turned on my phone, needing to check for messages from Raymond or Sally. One voicemail popped to the notifications. 

“Hey, Zee!” Ray’s voice rang out in my ear, and I couldn’t stop my grin. “Sorry to hear your flight got delayed. Bummer, man. Just talked to Brighton. He’s happy to wait. Apparently, there was a situation with someone at the lot and he’s glad to be away from it. Said don’t worry ‘bout him. Chat with ya later. And sorry again that we’re missing your homecoming. We’ll do something when we get back. I can’t wait to see you!” 

I scratched at the scruff on my face. Wondered what happened. The circus was a well-oiled machine. They usually didn’t have situations that I knew of. And Brighton had been such a sweet boy. I couldn’t imagine anyone causing a problem with him. Something unsettling rumbled in my soul. A pull to make sure Brighton was okay. I hadn’t even laid eyes on him in years. Weird.

I lived light. All I owned that mattered was in the bag slung over my shoulder and that was how I liked it. Never making roots. People milled around as I found my way to the coffee shop I was supposed to be meeting Brighton at. 

I rounded a corner and stopped myself short.

Three cups of what appeared to be long forgotten tea sat on the coffee shop table, as did a nibbled-on sugar cookie the size of my hand. A battered old poster board leaned against the legs of a chair. The paper was pale yellow instead of the bright white it used to be. In faded blue, it read: Welcome Home, Zander! Semper Fi! And a valiant attempt was made at the Marine Corps logo that looked more like a smudged to hell blob now. Brighton had hand-painted the poster as a kid.

For years, I spelled Zander with an X. My name’s Alexander, no Z in sight. But Brighton used a Z, and well, I have too, ever since. He’d been so damned proud of it. I didn’t have the heart to tell him he spelled my name wrong.

The family brought the poster to every homecoming, even when Brighton wasn’t with Raymond and Sally. A heartwarming tradition I’d looked forward to and hadn’t realized until now. I was surprised he remembered.

A smile lifted my lips. Brighton sat curled in the chair at the table. His feet were on the seat, arms wrapped around his legs, forehead on his knees, probably so he didn’t touch the sticky table. He looked peaceful. I should have gotten a cab and a hotel. This sweet boy didn’t have to waste his evening for me.

“There you are!” Hottie yelled behind me before he flung his arms around my neck. Why the hell had he followed me?

Brighton stirred in his seat. His head lifted. 

My heart stopped. I couldn’t breathe. 

Brighton wasn’t a boy anymore. No, he was the most beautiful young man I’d ever seen.

THREE

BRIGHTON

My heart skipped a beat. Zander. 

Zander with someone hanging off him. The person clinging to Zander was gorgeous. Muscular, taller than me by quite a few inches, pretty blue eyes, curly light brown hair. Someone with jewels for eyes, the body of a god, and the face of a model. If that was Zander’s type, I didn’t have a prayer to grab his attention.

Zander shook his head as he smiled and twisted himself out of the person’s hold. All their luggage fell to the floor. I stayed plastered to my seat. Who was this person? Were they together? Wouldn’t Dad have said if Zander was bringing a partner?

“Hey, you,” Zander said to him with way more affection than I liked. I tamped down my jealousy. Zander was free to be with who he wanted. He didn’t even know I liked him. Probably forgot I even existed until today. I was just being childish, that was it. 

The person tried to go for a kiss, but Zander dodged. Mystery person pouted. 

Zander held up his hand. “Sorry. It’s been a long night. I just want to get to bed.” He tipped his head back to me, which made my heart flutter. I leaned forward, trying to avoid the sticky table.

Glaring daggers at Zander, the person crossed their arms and cocked out a hip. “Were you fooling around on your boy? That’s so fucking typical of a guy like—”

“What?” Zander sounded so offended. “Brighton?” He flung his hand at me. “He’s my friend’s kid. Used to call me uncle. We’re not a thing. He’s just picking me up.” 

I was still just a child to him. Kid. 

The person dropped their arms. “Oh. Okay, well, sorry for accusing you of being a douchebag.”

“Apology accepted.”

They batted their mile long lashes. “Since you two aren’t a thing, can I get your number?” 

No. No. No. No. No!

My fingers twitched. I needed to get a hold of my jealousy, lest it get the better of me. I could grow talons if I didn’t watch myself.

Zander chuckled. “Sure. What’s your name, Hottie?” 

My heart sank further. Hottie. 

“Leif.” They squeezed Zander’s bicep and giggled.

“Zander.” His lips twitched, and the two exchanged phones. 

“I really do need to go with Bri. He’s been waiting for me, and it’d be rude to blow him off.” 

“Sure thing, Zander. See ya ‘round.”

Absolutely not.

Leif left in a whirl of bright luggage.

Zander faced me. Despite people bustling around the busy airport, the world revolved around the two of us. Spellbound, I couldn’t move from my spot. Slowly, I realized how noisy the place was. If I hadn’t been so tired, there was no way I could have fallen asleep. 

We stared, waiting for the other to make a move. Zander’s dark red hair had already started growing out from his usual military cut, and I wanted to rake my fingers through it. Gods and that five o’clock shadow. His brown eyes had little golden flecks. His nose was straight, jaw chiseled, cheekbones high. Muscular, but not too much. His gray t-shirt stretched across his chest so deliciously. He looked like one of those handsome classical Greek statues I saw when I was studying high school online. 

My face heated. Good thing blood didn’t actually boil in veins because I’d have exploded from embarrassment. I never thought about what I’d say in a moment like this. Just us. With all the time I had to prepare, I’d fallen asleep instead.

“Hi.” I gave Zander a small wave, pushed to my feet, and walked around the table. 

“Hey.” He stepped closer.

“Uhm, ready to get out of here? How was the flight?” I tipped my head. “Or flights, I guess? Are you hungry? Do you need help with your bag?” I nodded to the one on the floor behind him. 

Instead of answering any of my questions, Zander asked his own. “Are you okay? Ray said something happened in the lot.” 

I shouldn’t have told Dad about that. My smile faltered.

“I’m fine.” I grabbed the poster leaning against one of the chairs at my table and folded it back into a smaller square. “Nothing to worry about.” It was a lie, of course. I’d had a death grip on my phone all evening, watching the screen light every time Jason called until I finally fell asleep. Fisting my hands, I tried to will them not to shake.

Zander kept his eye on me as I cleared my table. I felt bad for wasting all the tea, but the barista had said I could stay as long as I bought something over five dollars every hour. My stomach was just too much of a twisted knot to enjoy my favorite beverage, or the sugar cookie. Once my table was clean for the next patron, Zander lifted his bag to his shoulders.

I couldn’t handle his intense gaze and turned on my heel to start towards the exit. “I don’t have much food in the trailer, so we should probably pick something up if you’re hungry. My treat.” 

“Bri. What happened?” 

I stopped in my tracks. He had always been perceptive, and I admired that when it wasn’t directed at me. “Nothing. Security took care of it.” Coal messaged me that Jason had left not long after I had. He and Drake kept him occupied long enough so he couldn’t follow me. I asked them not to alert security since they had it handled. 

“Security got involved?”

“That’s how security works.” My voice sounded stronger than I felt. I didn’t usually snark back, but Jason was a sore spot. 

“Look at me, Bri.” 

Reluctantly, I did. I wiped at the sweat on my brow. Moving, even slowly, made me so hot. And trying to have a conversation made it worse. Screw this molt. At least I was at the end of it.

“Are you in danger?”

My next breath came shakily. I swallowed and squeezed my eyes shut. “No? I don’t know.” 

Zander’s bag dropped to the linoleum floor. His arms pulled me to him and held me close. I couldn’t stop my sniffle if I tried. 

“Tell me what happened.” Zander stroked the back of my head.

I clung to his shirt, surprised to be in his arms. Surprised at the tenderness of his hold. He was someone I looked up to for his ability to keep his head. Maybe he could help without me having to say anything to Sev or security.

I’d kept my fear to myself, not wanting to burden my parents or Sev. If anyone knew everything, it was Peanut. But Zander’s concern made all my emotions flood to the surface. Tears prickled at my eyes. His big hand rubbed my back, which made everything worse. Was he always so soothing? 

Heck, he smelled good, like electricity and spices. Comforting.

“He’s always going to be able to find me,” I mumbled against Zander’s chest when I could find the words.

I swore thunder rumbled above the busy sound of the airport.

Zander’s grip tightened. “This is about a guy?” 

I nodded, entirely too embarrassed to tell him more, but since I started, I needed him to know. Needed someone besides Peanut to know how much Jason really terrified me. 

“His name’s Jason,” I started. “We…” I pulled away from Zander to stand on my own. And to get away from the heat of his body, the tantalizing scent of his skin. “Three months ago, we had some fun. We weren’t dating. It was a handful of times. At first I really did enjoy what we had going on. But he took things too far.” I scratched the back of my neck and turned away. 

Zander legit growled. “He hurt you?”

“He scared me.” 

“That bastard. What’d Ray and Sally say? What about that circus owner of yours? Security?”

“No one knows, Zee. I don’t want them to. Security comes when I call.” Well, Drake and Coal did when Peanut grabbed their attention.

“But they aren’t doing anything?” 

“What can they do?” 

“Bri—”

“It’s my fault things got out of hand. I met Jason in a kink club. I should have vetted him better. I reported him to the club, and he’s banned for life.” Which was probably the reason Jason stalked me. “That’s something.”

Zander choked on his next breath. “Wasn’t expecting that.” He straightened his posture and looked me dead in the eye. “Whatever happened wasn’t your fault.”

“I’d rather you not tell my parents. They don’t know, and I’d like to keep it that way.” 

That must have snapped him out of his stupor. “They could have helped. Gave you advice.”

“I don’t exactly want them knowing I’m…” I waved my hands around and lowered my voice. “Sexually active.” 

“Sorry, kiddo.” Zander bit back a smile. “That ship’s sailed. I still remember the frantic call after someone tattled on you about blowing a guy behind a trailer. Had to talk Ray down from the edge of panic.”

Yep. Yep. Blood boil. Earth slurp me down. Something. Because I was dead. Just dead. I thought I’d been sneaking behind their backs, and they knew I’d been fooling around all this time. Not that I really had a reason to hide myself. Everyone knew I was gay. Plenty of circus folk were into hook-up culture. And I wasn’t exactly embarrassed about my varied love of kinks. I just didn’t like the idea of my parents knowing I was having sex.

“I told him it’s not like you could knock someone up if you’re blowing some guy. That seemed to calm him. Reminded him to talk to you about protection if he hadn’t.”

“Oh gods, I remember that conversation.” I groaned. It had been a few days after I gave my first blow job at fifteen. “Thank you so much for that, by the way. He made me practice putting condoms on a banana.” It wouldn’t have been so bad if Dad also hadn’t told me I didn’t exactly need a condom unless I was having sex with a female raven shifter. I couldn’t knock up humans, nor could I get or give any STI. Not that I could tell anyone outside the circus any of that. So learned how to use condoms, I did.

“Bananas are good for condom and bj practice. I went through dozens in my teens.” 

I had to be red as a cherry.

My phone lit in my hand. Zander’s eyes grew wide when he saw the screen. He snatched my cell from my grip and answered. 

“If you don’t leave Brighton alone, you’re going to regret it.” 

Jason’s laugh was loud even without the phone’s speaker.

“I’d watch yourself if I were you, Jason. You don’t know who’s on Bri’s side now.” 

Zander growled as he hung up. He blocked and deleted Jason’s number before handing my cell back to me.

I stared at him. “Since when are you the growling, angry type?” And why was that so hot? Zander was giving off hardcore protective vibes, and I was here for it. “I’ve blocked his number before. He just keeps getting a new one.”

“I’m a certified sharp shooter. If he dares try to touch you again, I’ll take him out and I won’t regret it. No one touches my family.” Zander smiled to soften his words, but his eyes were so dead serious, I believed him. “Fuck Jason, and not in a fun way.” Zander squeezed my shoulder. “I’ll protect you. And if he shows up, he won’t be having fun.”

FOUR

ZANDER

During our walk through the airport, Brighton was animated. Talking with his hands about… I wasn’t sure what. The thin strip of skin peeking from the bottom of his hot pink crop top distracted me. All I wanted was to rip the shirt off him to get to the pale skin beneath. Definitely my type. 

I couldn’t believe I yelled at that Jason kid. Even though I was a Marine, I was always known for being cool and collected. I was laid back and charming... not whatever that macho reaction was back there. But it was almost as if I had no control. It felt like a magnetic pull to protect what was mine. I’d never wanted to protect someone so fiercely before. If only that was all I wanted to do.

This was Brighton. Off limits. If he was anyone else, I wouldn’t hesitate. I’d have pulled him into the restroom and fucked him until he forgot his name. If he wanted, that was.

“Hey, kiddo—”

Brighton whipped around so fast I backpedaled. 

“Never call me that.” 

“Noted.” I held up my hands. “Sorry.”

“Forgiven.” Brighton nodded and turned back around.

“I was just wondering if you’ve had dinner?”

Finally, he stopped moving. “I have not. Jason flustered me, and I didn’t have the stomach to eat the sugar cookie.”

“Alright, well. I’m practically starving, so let’s eat.” I steered him to the closest restaurant. Which happened to be a burger joint. 

He didn’t fight me. We still had a walk to get to the parking lot and who knew where he was parked. I was ready for food.

Brighton sank into the chair once the hostess led us to an intimate booth. We looked over the menu in silence. I observed him over the laminated paper.

I thought Ray was an attractive guy, not that I ever told him that. Not that I was attracted to him, I just knew pretty when I saw it. Same with Sally. She was elegant, with delicate features and plush lips. All of which Brighton inherited. I couldn’t tell if he wore lip color or if his mouth was just naturally blushed. I wouldn’t say his cheekbones could cut glass, but they were damn sharp. His black hair was a chaotic mess, just like Ray’s, but it worked. His brown eyes were the kind that had the darker halo and a bit of gold in the right light. Just beautiful. 

“Have you decided what you want?” Brighton asked, but his attention remained on the menu. “Everything sounds so good. And I want to pay.” His eyes flicked to meet mine, and he gave me a smile that wrapped around my heart. I would protect him with everything I had. For Ray and Sally, of course.

“You don’t need to do that.” I laid my menu back on the table.

“But I want to. We weren’t at your retirement ceremony. You deserve something. This is the least I can do.”

I tipped my head. “If that’s your wish.”

He dropped his menu on the table and nibbled on his bottom lip. “I have a question, though.” 

Gods, his eyes met mine again, and I’d answer anything. “Shoot.” 

“Why didn’t you want us at your retirement ceremony?” He dug his finger into a divot in the wood of the table. “When Dad called me this morning, I thought he was joking when he said you retired. I know your family’s gone, but we’re—”

“The ceremony wasn’t a big deal to me.” 

I’d thought it all through. It didn’t make sense to have them all fly out, only for us all to fly back to California. But fuck, Brighton’s sad eyes made me feel like an ass. And I hated lying to them all. My family wasn’t dead, just complicated. Mythological. Hard to explain. Hadn’t seen them in years. I didn’t think about them and I’m sure they didn’t think about me.

“Zander, we would have been there. With bullhorns. You didn’t have to go through it alone.”

“It would have been a waste of your money. The ceremony didn’t even last an hour, then I was in the air to get here.”

“If you had at least let us know, Mom and Dad would have postponed their trip. They’re devastated.”

“About that. They told me they were retiring, but I wrote the days down wrong.” And hated myself for it.

“Oh.” Brighton played with his napkin, not looking at me. “I have a small gift for you, but it’s back at the trailer.” 

A gift? For me? “You really shouldn’t have.”

“I wanted to. I hope you like it. Dad said you wanted to join the circus?” Brighton quirked a brow. Did he always bounce subjects so much?

“Not like what you do. I’m not all bendy.” I contorted my hands to make my point.

“I don’t do the contortionist stuff any more. I’m an aerialist now. Have been for a while. That said, I’m still stupid bendy.” The flush of his cheeks deepened. “Kinda need to be.”

“I’m thinking more along the lines of something easy. Ticket sales or concessions. An usher. I’m good with people. I could pitch in wherever. As long as there’s an adventure. But I don’t expect the owner—”

“Seven. Sev. He’s amazing.” 

And then I was jealous of some guy I’d met once, like a decade ago, for long enough to shake his hand. But the dreamy way Brighton said ‘amazing’, yeah, that was jealousy creeping under my skin, crackling like lightning.

“I don’t expect him to just give me the job. I want to earn my place.” 

“We can use extra hands, that’s for sure. Tomorrow’s load out. Time to jump.” Brighton grinned. “It’ll be nice to have you around.”

That shouldn’t have made me so happy.

I searched my memory for a fresh topic to talk about. Something to watch his eyes light up even more. “What have you been reading?” He always had his nose in a book before.

Brighton sat straighter. That was definitely the right topic. I mentally patted myself on the back.

“A Brief History of Black Holes by Doctor Becky Smethurst. It’s my third time reading it. I adore her writing. And I love her YouTube channel. She’s an astrophysicist, and I’ve watched her since the beginning. Can’t get enough.”

Black holes. Astrophysicist. I was in over my head. 

“Her writing style is really easy to get into. You can borrow my book if you want.” 

“I don’t think black holes are my thing.” 

The cutest smile lifted Bri’s lips. “It’s not usually most people’s.” 

We chatted about other books. He threw in facts every so often, making me laugh because they seemed so random. But he could loop the facts back to what we’d been talking about. His mind was an absolute wonder and I couldn’t wait to get to know him more.

Brighton ate an alarming amount of food, and I wondered where the hell he put it all.

“You want dessert?” Brighton grabbed the menu, leaning against the salt and pepper shakers. His eyes lit as he looked it over. “I’m thinking a sundae with rainbow sprinkles.” 

“I’m stuffed, but you go right ahead.” 

He nodded and ordered. Once he got his treat, he hummed into the ice cream as if he was ten years old again instead of… 

“How old are you now?” I leaned back, spreading out a bit. 

“Twenty-two.” He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and gave me a grin. “And you’re…” He tapped his chin a few times. “Forty-three. Am I right?”

“Bingo.” Shit—twenty-one years age difference. But he was so easy to talk to. Easy to be around. I thought this’d be awkward as hell, but he knew how to keep the conversation flowing.

He scraped the bottom of his bowl and gave a sad little huff. “All done.” 

Why the hell did I find that so adorable? Did he have a freezer in his trailer? I’d have to keep him stocked with ice cream. Or maybe it was just the sweetness he liked. What the hell? We were just going to be friends, or friendly. No need to do anything more. He was a grown man and didn’t need someone to take care of him. 

The server glared at me when Brighton paid. We laughed about it on the way out the door. 

Once we got outside, Brighton pointed. “A few more rows up. Black truck.” 

“I’m driving,” I hollered, before breaking out in a sprint. Brighton trailed behind me.

Even in the dark, the black truck gleamed with a high polish. He took care of his things, which I appreciated. 

“Sweet ride.”

Brighton gave the sweetest grin. “Her name’s Beatrice.”

“It’s been a while since I’ve been behind a wheel. Can’t wait to hear her purr.” 

He passed me the keys, then settled into the passenger seat. When the AC hit his face, he sighed. It fluttered my eyelashes, but he seemed comfortable, so I wasn’t about to change it. Brighton was much shorter than my six foot two, so I adjusted the seat and mirrors before putting the truck in gear. 

Brighton fiddled with his phone, then put it in the holder in front of me with driving directions. 

“We’re about 45 minutes out.” Brighton could barely keep his eyes open.

He was eerily quiet the entire trip to the circus lot. I missed the chatter from dinner. As I pulled in, other vehicles were lining up to leave. Shit. It was a performance night.

“Did you miss tonight because of me?”

“Had almost the last two weeks off.” 

Brighton directed me where to park. He led me to his trailer, and I passed the keys back to him. 

He shimmied the key into the lock and pulled the door open. “There are fresh sheets on the bed. I have a small TV if you want to watch something. You won’t bother me any.” 

We took the few steps into the trailer. 

I took in what I could. “Nice place.” Well-kept. Very brightly decorated. Even though I hadn’t seen him in years—had only known him as a man for a couple hours—the trailer seemed so... Brighton.

“I love it.” A cute little smile took over his face. “Oh. Something to note. There’s a cat that has my permission to come and go as he pleases. His name’s Peanut. He’s black with a white heart on his chest. If he talks, pay attention.” 

I quirked a brow. “He talks?”

“Not talk talk, no. But… you’ll see what I mean when you meet him.” 

“Noted.”

“I have the bed made up for you and—”

I shook my head. “Where will you sleep?” 

Brighton gestured to the dinette. “Here. It’s comfortable and I don’t think you’ll fit. So it makes sense I take it.” 

“I don’t want to take your bed.” 

“I slept on the dinette-bed for years before the trailer was mine. I don’t mind one bit.” He moved around me to press the table down and situate the cushions to make a second bed. He covered it with a fitted sheet and threw the neon pillows around to make a nest of sorts. He grabbed a stuffed unicorn from the center of the bed and laid it gently on the dinette bed. “See, it’s fine.” He waved to the area behind me. “That’s the bathroom. Toilet, sink, shower. You’re welcome to any of it.” His eyes dropped to the bag around my shoulder. “You can use any of the overhead cabinets or under the bed to stash your stuff. Uhm, that’s the tour.” 

Such a cute bachelor pad. “I think I’m gonna shower then hit the hay if that’s alright? Wanna wash off the day.” Maybe get off real quick in the shower. 

“It is. I’ll probably be asleep before you get out. I’ll change real quick, if you don’t mind?” 

I shook my head, stupidly eager to see what he’d wear to bed.

Brighton walked up to a small mirrored closet, rummaged around, then went to the bathroom. He wasn’t gone long. When he came out, he wore a pair of pink plaid shorts with the same crop top from earlier. I had to bite back a groan. 

“Good night, Zander.” 

“Night, Bri.”

He crawled onto the dinette bed and curled up with the stuffed unicorn. What I wouldn’t give to be that toy, and fuck, why did this feel so wrong?

FIVE

BRIGHTON

I woke to Peanut’s fur tickling my nose. His little body radiated so much heat. 

“Love ya, but you’re entirely too hot.” 

Peanut trilled as he hopped to the shag rug. I blinked at the ceiling and listened to Zander sleep on the other side of the curtain. He didn’t snore exactly, but it was unmistakable that someone slept on the other side. Was he a cuddler? Or did he like his space?

I sat, taking stock of how my body felt. I still ached from the effort of the molt, but felt so much better than the last few weeks, thank goodness.

I flopped back, causing black feathers to puff into the air. They’d released in the night, meaning the molt should be over soon. I scooped them up and deposited them into the trashcan under the kitchen sink before Zander could see. 

It was still early. My body didn’t know how to sleep in, even when I was exhausted from molting. The start of communal breakfast wasn’t for another half hour. 

I watched the curtain that separated me from Zander. How long would he sleep? Would he want me to wake him up? Did he eat breakfast?

Pushing to my feet, I stretched. Peanut merrphed at me and ran under the curtain to the bed Zander slept in.

“Hey, don’t bother him. He’s probab—”

“Oooaf.” Well, Zander was awake now. “Oh, hello. You’re such a pretty kitty, aren’t you?”

 My face burned. Jealous of a cat. Because of course that made sense. But Peanut definitely had Zander’s hands on him by the way that purr came through the curtain.

Zander’s rich laugh bellowed out long and free as he pulled the curtain back with Peanut in his lap. I gaped openmouthed at his naked chest. Those biceps, heck. I swallowed back a groan. He wore boxer briefs and nothing else. Thick muscular thighs flexed when he moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Nice alarm clock you got here, Bri.” Zander continued to pet Peanut while my brain blanked out. 

Zander’s chest had a dusting of dark red hair. Peanut blocked me from seeing if there was a happy trail. I prayed there was. Clothed, Zander was glorious, but mostly naked, Zander was godlike.

“You okay?” Concern filled Zander’s voice enough to snap me out of the fog of lust.

I shook my head. “Sorry, still waking up. Stay right there.”

Zander cocked his brow. 

“I just don’t want you to go anywhere.”

“Won’t move a muscle.” 

Yesterday, after my parents told me Zander had retired, I wanted to make him something. My hobbies didn’t vary much, but when I wasn’t training or reading, I drew. I pulled my box of prints out of my closet and walked to the dinette bed. 

“It’s not much. But thought you deserved a better attempt at the Marine Corps logo.” I pulled the cello-wrapped art from right on top and handed it over.

Zander stared in silence, eyes flitting over the square print. Nerves vibrated through me. Did he hate it?

Finally, Zander made eye contact. “Holy fuck, Bri.” 

“Surprise.” I’d done the logo in my own style, soft and delicate, with a pretty floral background.

A smile tipped Zander’s lips. “I love it. Let me show you something.” He leaned over and grabbed his bag from the corner of the bed. 

Peanut glared, hopping off Zander’s lap to nuzzle my ankles. Good lord, that would be a yes to Zander having a happy trail.

He rummaged around in his bag until he pulled out a small, clear plastic box. I held my breath. “You kept them?”

“Every single one.” He opened the top and pulled out a few drawings I’d done over the years. A fantasy landscape from when I was in a Tolkien mood. A portrait of Mom, Dad, me, and Zander all together with big smiles on our faces. The Ferris wheel from the carnival. 

“I didn’t think they gave them to you.” 

“I usually asked to see if you’d drawn something. They’d roll their eyes and hand it over. I loved watching your style evolve over the years, but… this is one of my favorites.” He shifted through until he found the one I’d done when I was about twelve. A detailed crayon drawing of a regal black cat with a white heart on its chest. “And now I’ve met the model.” 

Peanut chirped and rubbed against Zander’s calves. 

“You’re a talented artist, Bri. Thank you.” Zander packed the newest drawing in his box and settled it back in his bag.

My body heated. Not the best time to physically respond to his praise. My thoughts turned dirty. Would he let me draw him? Naked? 

“Uhm. I’m gonna take a shower and head to breakfast. Would you like to join me?”

Something shifted in the atmosphere, a crackling electricity flowed between us. “I don’t think we’d both fit in that fucking ridiculously tiny shower.” Zander gave me a bright smile. “I kept banging my elbows against the walls.”

What? Was he teasing me or offering? I blinked back at him while I processed his words. 

“I could eat.” Grinning, Zander scratched the scruff at his jaw. I needed to remove myself from his presence soon. The sound went right to my dick. “Oh, cute shower decoration you got in there by the way.”

My brain took a second to understand what he meant. The dildo. I died a little. “The shower seat is the perfect height to—”

“Ride the toy. I get it.” 

My face flushed, and I nodded.

“Sex toys aren’t anything to be embarrassed about.” Zander shrugged as he slapped his thighs and stood. He had a very nice happy trail, and I wanted to run my fingers through the trimmed hair. 

“I’m not embarrassed.” I crossed my arms, maybe just a tiny tiny bit. Who forgot their dildo in the shower when they were expecting company? Me, apparently. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about in this trailer. I know what I like, and I won’t be ashamed about it.” 

“Oh, I know. The toy box was a fascinating find. You’re into some kinky shit.” 

“Not really.” I shrugged as nonchalantly as I could. Some of it I didn’t even use. I just like the way it looked. Or liked the way I imagined it’d look on me or a partner.

“Sure, everyone has a box of bondage. Totally fucking normal.” Zander’s eyes sparkled with mischief. He took a step closer. 

“Bondage gear. And why did you go through my things?”

Zander held up his hands. “To be fair, I wasn’t purposely snooping. You passed out, and I was looking for towels.”

“Maybe I should empty my box and tie you up. Punish you for being nosy. The box clearly wasn’t towels.” I stalked towards him. If he was going to tease me, I’d tease him right back.

“What?” His throat bobbed as he swallowed. All the attitude drained from him.

“You heard me, Zee.” I dropped my eyes, then dragged the back of my fingers from the top of his happy trail—watching his stomach muscles jump—to his hip. “Your cock certainly did.”

“Fuck.” He cupped himself, and I had to smirk.

“Your vocabulary mostly consists of fuck. Did you know that?” 

“Fuck.” He swallowed again.

I turned on my heel and marched to the bathroom. “You’d probably like the punishment, so it’s better this way.”

SIX

ZANDER

What. The. Ever. Loving. Fuck. Just. Happened?

I blinked at the closed bathroom door. Thank fuck I didn’t sleep naked, not that my boxer briefs hid much. My cock leaked. I wasn’t expecting Brighton to… fuck. What was that? Why was it so hot? I’d never been into the kink scene. But I could get into whatever the hell that was. His touch was like a brand, and I wanted him to brand me everywhere.

Fuck. No. No. NO! This was Brighton! Brighton. Off limits. Off, off limits. I shouldn’t even look at him again. Shouldn’t have teased him about the toys and the kink stuff. Fuck. I did this to myself!

But hell, my dick was so hard I was afraid it might fall off. Not really. But still. Pain.

I dropped back on the bed and pushed down the waistband of my underwear to fist myself, thumbing the slit to spread the pre-cum. Oh fuck. How did Brighton suck guys off? Would he be sloppy? Did he like his hair pulled? Face fucked? Or did he prefer slow and sensual?

“And another thi—Oh.” 

Our eyes met. My hand still fisted my cock. I hadn’t heard the bathroom door open. Brighton’s hair was wet. How long had I been lost in my fucked up fantasy? 

“Want help with that? Or is a punishment in order?” 

“Fuck.” Yes. No. Yes. I kept stroking.

Brighton licked his lips. Fucking licked his lips and stepped forward. I couldn’t look away from his beautiful face.

I didn’t know if he stepped on the cat’s tail—the cat I’d completely forgotten about—but a pained yowl came from the door, which seemed to snap Brighton from his trance. The cat scratched at the door, practically begging to get out. Brighton opened the door, and the cat scampered away before he shut it again. 

“I need an answer, Zander.” Brighton stared, daring me to tell him yes. 

I spread my legs a little more. Brighton stepped closer. 

Yes, so much yes. A flash of him as a bright eyed, chubby-cheeked toddler ran across my memory.

No! Fuck! What the hell was I thinking? This was Brighton. Damn it, what was wrong with me? Fuck. He was twenty-two now, I had to remind myself. But another memory of watching him grow up popped up again. Gods, what the hell?

I couldn’t. I stuffed myself back into my boxer briefs. “We can’t.” 

Brighton’s shoulders sagged. His eyes dropped to the floor.

I pushed to my feet and washed my hands in the tiny sink while Brighton turned the dinette bed back into a table. Everything was so small around here, making me feel like a giant. 

I didn’t dare look at Brighton as I grabbed a change of clothes from my duffle. I stayed focused on my task and shut myself in the tiny bathroom. The tiny bathroom with the dildo still suction cupped to the shower seat. Had he used it during his shower while thinking of me? 

I changed into jeans and a plain blue t-shirt so I’d be comfortable for tear down. With my work gloves stuffed into my back pocket, I exited the bathroom and rallied. My problem this morning was too much blood flow to my dick and not enough to my brain.

Brighton drummed his fingers on the kitchen counter as he waited. “You were naughty while I was in the shower.”

“Yep.”

“Maybe I should have punished you. Would a spanking be fitting?” 

My mouth fell open and my cock chubbed.

Brighton snort laughed. I looked at him properly. His black hair was combed back out of his face. The lime green crop top screamed look at me and the black tennis skirt showed off his legs. He covered his mouth when he giggled, transforming back to the sweet boy from before instead of Dom Brighton. I wanted them both. Fuck. What the hell was wrong with me?

“The look on your face, Zee. Priceless.”

“This—” I waved my hand between us. “Ain’t happening. You’re way too young for me.” I just liked teasing people. At least, that was what I told myself.

Brighton cocked a brow. “And how old was that guy at the airport?”

Touche… “It’s a no from me. I watched you grow up.” Mostly through pictures and videos, but still. “What would your parents say if they found out we ever did anything?” 

A bitter laugh came from Brighton. “I don’t think they’d care.”

“Why do you say that?” I may have sounded a bit defensive.

“Not to shine my parents in a bad light. And don’t get me wrong, I love them. But I was pretty much left to my own devices my entire life. They trained me on my skills and set me in front of a computer for school.” Brighton shrugged. “They were very hands off. Most days I’d learn a trick, practice until it was time for school, school, then more practice. Some days they forgot to feed me. Sure, we had good times where they acted like they cared, but mostly I fended for myself.”

That shined a whole new light on Ray and Sally. I’d only ever seen them doting on Brighton. Of course, they’d want to show me their good side. 

“I love the circus. I love my life. And I appreciate them giving me this trailer.” He looked around with a tiny smile. “But I probably would have liked emotionally available, mature parents too. So… yeah. All that to say, I make my own decisions, not them. I dictate whose dick I suck.” 

I groaned. “You can’t say things like that.” 

“I kinda just did.” His adorable grin disarmed me.

“You’re a brat.”

He pinched his thumb and forefinger together. “Just a little bit.” 

Fuck, and I loved it. “I can’t, Bri. You don’t know your parents the way I do.” I really, really shouldn’t be lusting after their son. They’d say I took advantage of their hospitality and violated their trust. I couldn’t do that to my oldest friends.

“We could have lots of fun. My parents never have to know.” 

Tempting. So tempting. 

All the pale skin on display made my mouth water. Would he shiver if I trailed my fingertips along his bare sides? 

I shook my head. Bad Zander, bad. What was wrong with me? “We can’t.”

Brighton shrugged. “The offer is on the table. Whenever you’re ready.” Then the little brat gave me a knowing smile.

SEVEN

BRIGHTON

What have I done? Did I really just offer myself up to Zander? Yes. Yes, I did. Like an idiot. I don’t actually know how my parents would react. They probably would care. But they’ve never mentioned knowing about my other sexual exploits, so why would Zander matter to them? Maybe they didn’t know anything other than that first blow job.

“So. Breakfast?” I asked to salvage my dignity. If I moved on, maybe he would too.

“Breakfast sounds great. What do you eat around here? Cereal?”

I wrinkled my nose. “Ew. No. We have our own chef. Rhett’s new, and he’s amazing.” 

Zander stiffened. His jaw clenched. “So you like this guy?” 

“Yeah, but not like that. Who doesn’t like the person who cooks good food?” Plus, he’d been great for Coal in so many ways. Not that I could tell Zander some of them. A guy that could handle a hot kitchen and a part Vermillion Bird, that was pretty great if you asked me.

“You sure? You got this dreamy look in your eyes. Kinda like you did last night when you were talking about that ringmaster guy.” 

My cheeks heated. “Seven’s like a big brother to me. So, there’s nothing to be jealous about. Especially since you’re not interested in me.”

“I didn’t say I wasn’t interested. I said it wasn’t happening.”

More heat dumped over my head. He was so confusing. “Same difference, Zee. You can’t get jealous.”

“Fair enough.” He took a step closer, and I swore the heat of him in the tiny kitchen sank into my skin. “I like the skirt.”

“Lets my balls breathe.”

His lips twitched before he let out a belly laugh.

“Ready to meet the crew?” I grabbed my keys from the hook by the door.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” 

“Don’t be nervous. Most of them don’t bite.” I flung the door open to greet the bright sunshine. 

I slid on my flip-flops before tromping down the few steps to the ground. Zander followed, hand to his forehead to shield his eyes from the sun. I swore his skin glowed golden in the bright light. I wondered if by chance he had a bit of some god in him. He could be a demi-god for all I knew. It wasn’t unheard of. But that was just wishful thinking. If he was something other, I could tell him the truth about the circus.

The circus woke up a lot like the beginning of Beauty and the Beast. But more like… there’s the makeup artist over there with her husband and young son. Contortionist on the lawn. Sword swallower resting. Plate spinners shining plates.

Hello. Hey. Good morning. Instead of bonjour. Some days I fancied myself as Belle. I usually had my nose in a book or had a sketchbook and pencil with me, but not today. No, today, I had a sexy Marine who practically had his head on a swivel.

EIGHT

ZANDER

Circus was… a lot. And strange. People wore their makeup and costumes awfully early for a day there weren’t any performances. Horns. Bright contacts. Painted skin. Though something about it all seemed too natural. Anytime I tried to observe more, Brighton pulled me along. 

He dragged me around to meet everyone before we entered the mess hall—a huge purple tent with tables and chairs—to stand in line for pancakes.

Rhett, the man that whipped up said pancakes, was tiny. If he was even five feet tall, I’d be surprised. I had mistaken him for a kid before I got a look at his face. He could be considered attractive, but honestly, one look at Brighton and I was ruined for other guys. And fuck me sideways, every time Bri smiled at someone else my insides tumbled. Like he said, I couldn’t be jealous. But I was.

Bri stood in front of me in line and got a ridiculous amount of pancakes as he chatted with Rhett. I followed suit, asking for a triple stack because if he could get away with it, surely I could too. I was damned hungry. No one batted an eye. 

Brighton led me to a long table occupied by a fellow ginger, who sat close to a guy in a black tank top and had gauges in his ears. It was such a mismatched couple; I wondered what they did. 

“Zander, this is Eli and Drake. Drake’s our Daredevil. Eli’s our photographer. Everyone, Zander.” Brighton turned to Drake with the brightest damned smile. “Drake’s so badass. I love watching his act.” Brighton bounced in his seat as if he had too much energy. “I love all our acts. We’re amazing. And Eli gets the best shots.”

The redhead’s cheeks flushed. “Thanks, Bri.”

“I mean, you should see the dick pics he took of me.” 

“What?!” I stood, sending my chair to the ground.

Brighton snorted. “Easy, Zee. I was fully clothed. They were more like… bulge pics. For his friend. But really, they’re great shots, if not overly zoomed in on my junk.”

I set my chair upright again. Maybe a little embarrassed at my outburst.

Eli’s face turned even redder. “I’m never gonna live that down.” 

“Nope.” Drake pulled him closer and gave him a kiss on the temple.

Brighton dropped his attention to his plate of pancakes and started cutting. “Drake and Coal—” He looked around, I guessed for this Coal guy. “—saved my ass last night.” 

That caught my attention. “You’re security, too?” I asked Drake.

He quirked a brow. “No, I just show up when a certain kitty fetches me.”

Eli bit his lip and turned away to hide a smile. Brighton bloomed bright red when I looked at him. For some reason he lied last night. Security hadn’t gotten involved. 

He poked at his pancakes with his fork. “And I really appreciate your help with Jason.”

“Don’t mention it. We’re just glad we could do anything. That guy was a real piece of work. But I charmed him like I do.” Drake blew Brighton a kiss, and I fought off a growl.

Brighton and Eli both rolled their eyes at the daredevil’s antics. 

“Tell me about it,” Brighton said. “I hope that’s the last we see of him.” He grabbed the syrup bottle from the middle of the table and poured an entire river on his pancakes. 

I leaned down to whisper in Brighton’s ear, “Maybe you’re the one that needs to be punished. For lying to me.” 

Brighton shoved a big bite of pancake in his mouth. “Don’t you dare tease me unless you plan to follow through,” he mumbled. 

And damn, those words made my cock twitch.

Another person joined the table, sticking to the end, and watched Rhett flip pancakes. Brighton sat straighter. “Coal!” Brighton waved as if the guy wasn’t just a few seats down. The guy wore a hoodie in this heat, and I sweated just looking at him. Brighton turned to me. “Coal’s our firedancer. You haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen his act.”

“You wound me, little birdy.” Drake placed a hand over his heart and pouted. Eli poked him in the ribs with his elbow.

“I already said you were amazing,” Brighton said.

“Why do you call him little birdy?” I asked. It was such a cute nickname.

“He’s always flying in the air.” But Drake winked at Brighton as if there was some sort of inside joke. I’d have to ask about that later.

Coal moved to the seat next to Brighton. The temperature of the space changed with him so close. Strange. Brighton made our introductions. Coal gave me a nod, then went back to watching Rhett. He didn’t seem much for words. Or socializing. 

“So…” Drake shifted his gaze to me. Did his amber eyes flash? “What do you do, Zander?”

I poured syrup onto my pancakes. “Retired Marine. Hoping to join the circus.”

“Ah, what’s that I hear?” someone said behind me.

From under the table, a black shape ran as fast as his little legs could take him. He zigzagged between tables and chairs until he darted through the tent’s flap. What the hell spooked Peanut so much?

Brighton jumped to his feet. “Sev!” 

Reluctantly, I stood and held out my hand to reintroduce myself. The ringmaster still had bright purple hair and the craziest aqua colored eyes I’d ever seen. He still wore fancy suits, looking like a damned model. What was up with this guy? And why the hell didn’t he age? Not that I could say much about that. I think I stopped aging a decade back, perks of my family’s magic. 

Seven’s eyes narrowed as his gaze washed over me. Apparently passing whatever test he had just put me through, he looked to Brighton, then back to me. “You know Sally and Ray retired, right?” 

“I’m aware. But I’m not ready to settle down. It was just time for a change. I think circus life could be good for me.” 

“It’s hard work.”

I cocked a brow. “I can do hard work. It’s what I live for.” 

“What would you perform, Zander?” 

“Oh, no. I don’t plan on performing, though I could probably put together a sharp shooter routine.” Or something else suited to my strange talents. But the more I thought about it, the more I didn’t want to perform in any way, shape, or form. “I’m thinking something like ticket sales, or concessions, rides. Wherever you might need a helping hand.” 

Seven nodded. “We’re tearing down today. I’m sure we can put you to good use.”

Brighton rocked on his feet. “I’ll keep him busy.”

Our table mates snorted. 

“Good. We’ll get you on payroll, Zander. Come see me sometime before next Thursday to figure out where to put you.” Seven turned to Brighton. “For now, I’ll leave our new friend in your capable hands.” He dropped his hand on Brighton’s shoulder and squeezed. Nope, didn’t like that.

Brighton grinned at the man as if he hung the moon. Also, did not like. Not one bit. Luckily, Seven didn’t linger and as soon as he left, I could breathe again.

“You might want to call off the guard dog, Bri,” Coal said. 

“Yeah,” Drake said. “Or we might need to get Farren to wrestle Zander away from Sev very soon.”

Brighton looked to me, brows creased. “What’s wrong, Zee?” Why did he sound so accusatory? 

“Nothin’. I’m good. Let’s finish breakfast.” 

We settled back at the table, and I got to know everyone a little better.

Drake was a fascinating guy, dating Eli, a former journalist. That was a cute story. The reason Coal seemed to eat Rhett with his eyes was because those two were dating. Kinda surprised me. Another story I’d like to know more about, but the circus folk cleared out quickly to start tear down.

“Ready to get to work?” Brighton asked.

“Lead the way.”

Brighton led me to the huge tent, apparently it took awhile to get it down.

I followed him through the opening of the circus tent and backpedaled. “Whoa. What the fuck? It’s like the TARDIS in here. Way bigger on the inside.”

“What is a tar-dish?” Brighton tipped his head. 

“TARDIS. Time and Relative Dimension in Space. It’s a time machine. You know, Doctor Who.”

“I have no idea who Doctor Who is.” 

“What? It’s a classic. The show’s been around since the sixties. Not consistently, but shit, I thought it was a part of pop culture nowadays. Ever since David Tennant, anyway.”

“Never seen it. Or heard of it.” Brighton shrugged. “I don’t watch much television or movies, though. Rather read. Or draw. Or train.”

“I think that knocks off a couple of nerd points.” 

Brighton pressed the back of his hand to his forehead, and fake swooned. “Oh no, whatever shall I do?”

“Brat.”

He stuck his tongue out and started directing me on what to do.

I was happy to oblige. I didn’t want to leave Brighton’s side before the Jason problem was taken care of. We needed to talk seriously about Jason soon. He’d be gearing up for something, but I didn’t know what. Stalkers didn’t just leave their prey alone.

Before we could discuss Jason, we got lost in our tasks. I didn’t mind Brighton bossing me around. Not that it was really bossing. He knew what needed to be done and gave me the orders. I ate it up just like I did in the military. Though at the end of my career, I was the one calling the shots. I didn’t mind being a grunt again. This was what I was looking for, something so different from what I was used to. 

But I couldn’t help the thoughts that floated to the surface as I worked. Brighton was attractive, and damn hard working. I’d like to get to know him. But it was wrong to date or fuck Brighton. No matter what he said, I couldn’t take him up on the offer. He was too young. Too… Ray’s son. But we could be friends.

Brighton deserved someone better than a guy that fucked around. I’d break his heart, then I’d want to punch myself in the face, and I was too pretty for that.

NINE

BRIGHTON

“Brighton.” 

I cringed at the tone of Drake’s voice. I turned to face him and Coal… and Eli and Rhett. The whole damned gang was here to sass me.

Zander’s head popped up from where he was working on folding down siding to a game booth. We all got the big top packed up hours ago.

“Gotta talk to the guys. I’ll be right back.” 

“Not uh, not alone.”

I pointed to the half torn down Ferris wheel. “We’ll be right there.” 

I was about to get my ass chewed out and not in a fun way.

“Fine. But I’ll be watching.” 

I nodded, and took my walk of shame toward the Ferris wheel, bringing the whole group with me. 

“Hey.” I gave them a small smile. “What’s up?” 

“Don’t, Bri.” Drake crossed his arms. His amber eyes glowed. “Who the hell was that guy last night?”

“Just a guy.” I shifted on my feet. 

“He was obsessed with you,” Coal said. “What happened between the two of you?” 

Drake and Coal each took a step toward me. Shit. I didn’t want to disappoint Sev, but I found myself not wanting to disappoint the guys, either. My chosen brothers. My breaths came rapidly. Tears stung my eyes. I fisted my hands to try and calm myself, but stupid emotions were bubbling to the surface.

Eli squeezed Drake’s arm. “You’re a little intense right now. How about we all take a step back to give Brighton breathing room?” 

I grabbed for the guardrail to keep me upright. “Sorry.” The word came out in a jumble. “Sorry.” 

Eli exchanged a look with Drake. Rhett threaded his hand into Coal’s and pulled him back. 

Eli broke the silence. He calmed more than just Drake. Eli’s presence was soothing, but I’d never tell that to the dragon. “Start from the beginning, Brighton. Whatever you’re willing to share.” 

“I don’t really want to share,” I mumbled.

“Then share what you can,” Rhett said. “What Coal told me last night was scary.”

Peanut trotted up and rubbed against my leg. I bent to pick him up. He gave me the courage I needed to tell the story only he knew.

“Don’t judge me, please.” I looked up and pleaded with each of them.

Drake sighed and threaded his fingers through the long side of his hair. “Whatever it is, Bri, we won’t love you any less.” 

I blinked, making tears drip down my cheeks. “Jason’s been stalking me for a few months.” 

Everyone tensed. 

“Why didn’t you tell Seven?” Eli asked softly. “There are those memory charms, surely—”

I shook my head and hugged Peanut tightly. “They wouldn’t have worked on Jason. He wasn’t a passing thing where we could just take a few hours of his memory. We’d had sex a handful of times. But he…” I chewed on the inside of my cheek. “The last time…” Did they need to know? I buried my face in Peanut’s fur and bumbled it all out. “He choked me until I passed out, so I got him banned from the kink club and now he’s stalking me.” Those were the words I chose, knowing full well what he’d done was considered sexual assault. I’d revoked my consent the moment he violated my safeword. He kept going. 

When I pulled my face from Peanut’s fur, the four were watching me open-mouthed. “Say something.” 

But they didn’t. No, they moved as a unit and embraced me. Even Coal who hardly ever touched anyone other than Rhett. His heat was welcoming. I sagged in their arms. We hadn’t been touchy feely in a long time. I’d been much more so as a kid, but it weirded people out, so I stopped. Tears streamed down my face as I sniffled. Someone’s hand dragged down my back. 

Slowly, we all pulled away. Zander watched wide-eyed from his station, luckily not moving in this direction. 

“Sorry.” I rubbed at my cheeks.

Eli’s hand landed on my shoulder. “There’s nothing to be sorry for. What he did wasn’t your fault.”

I sighed. Might as well tell them. “Yeah, it was.”

Drake grabbed my arms, forcing me to look at him. “No, it wasn’t.” 

“I didn’t properly vet him like I usually would. He was hot. We had fun when we had casual sex, so we changed the arrangement to include… kink. While we had a long, and what I thought was a good discussion and understanding about limits, apparently he decided on his own they weren’t appropriate for primal play. Had I talked to a previous play partner, I might have discovered that. But all I wanted was to feel the adrenaline pump through me when he chased me through the woods. So, yeah, it was my fault.” 

Drake blinked back. Eli’s hand on his arm made him release me. 

“Like we said, not your fault,” Eli said.

“Shit, Bri.” The sadness in Coal’s voice almost made tears spring to the surface again. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“For the longest time, all he did was call or text. He only started showing up about three weeks ago. He doesn’t stay for long and goes back home.” 

Rhett straightened. “So he’s been following the circus?”

I nodded.

Eli looked at Drake, then back to me. “You need to talk to security. That guy could have had a gun, or a knife, or something. Someone could have gotten really hurt. Farren’s more equipped than the rest of us to deal with threats.”

“I know. I’m just embarrassed. But he won’t show up again for another week at least. He only comes on his days off.” For a week, I’d be safe. “And Zander’s here now. I don’t want to bother Farren.”

Coal shook his head. “This is what Farren’s here for. Talk to him.” 

“Zander already knows what’s going on, and this way, Farren can focus on everything else. Besides, Zander basically offered to be my personal security guard.” 

“Fine,” Drake huffed out. “But if anything else happens, promise you’ll tell Seven and Farren.” 

I nodded. “Absolutely.” Because if Jason showed up again, I probably couldn’t hide it anymore, not with so many people knowing my secret. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t share what I just told you with anyone else.” I scratched my elbow and shifted on my feet.

“Your secret’s safe with us, Bri,” Eli said. “Didn’t see the kink club coming, though.” He chuckled, and it broke some of the tension.

“Yeah,” Rhett said. “Or primal play.” He wiggled his brows at Coal. The man just snorted back. 

I grinned at them. “I, uh, have a few kinks.” 

“Yeah ya do. Started young.” Drake chuckled. 

My eyes grew wide. “You told my parents!” 

“You were fifteen, blowing a guy behind a trailer. Yeah, I told your parents. At least he wasn’t too much older than you.”

My whole body grew hot. “Ugh, thank you so much,” I mumbled. 

Drake clamped me on the shoulder and looked me in the eye. “Are you okay, Bri?”

“Yeah, I think I am. Thanks.” I felt better. Not quite a whole weight lifted, but enough. They didn’t judge me, they just wanted me safe. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Drake said. “And uh… I don’t want to say I speak for all of us, but we don’t need anything in return. I know you like to give thank you gifts and—” He held up his hands. “They are thoughtful, but we each have enough Bri gifts to decorate all our trailers ten times over.” 

I couldn’t stop the laugh. “Message received.”

We dispersed, and I found my way back to Zander. I really wanted another hug, but got back to work instead. There was still a lot to get done and I didn’t want to think about anything other than bossing Zander around a few more hours. And maybe imagining what it’d be like if he said yes to sex.

TEN

BRIGHTON

It took hours to load out, but we were ready to jump by midafternoon. We really had it down to a science, and maybe a bit of magic. Everyone knew what jobs they had to do. Zander hadn’t complained once, not that I expected him to. 

Our next location wasn’t far. Just under two hours, depending on traffic. Which was great. I didn’t know how long I could last in my truck with Zander smelling all… manly. Sweat and BO. And whatever that underlying scent was, that was just Zander, like sunshine and spices and ozone. Yeah. I was into all that. I wanted to lick his throat, his chest, that happy trail that led to his big cock.

“So… kink? How’d you get started with that?” Zander squeezed the steering wheel and stared ahead. “What’s your favorite?”

We’d hitched the trailer to my truck, and he practically begged to drive. How could I say no? His fingers tapped.

When I didn’t answer, he gave me a quick look.

I couldn’t exactly tell him ‘oh I love primal play because it lets me tap into the animal inside me.’ Not that ravens were hunters or prey, really. But I was essentially linked to a caged animal that wanted nothing more than to be free. Primal play allowed me to be exactly me with no masks or barriers or shame.

“Too personal? I never met anyone into the kinky stuff. Or at least I don’t think I have. Never really got to know many people well enough to find out.” Zander scratched his jaw before tapping the steering wheel again. “Maybe I should have.”

I slid my fingers along the door. How did I want to go about this? I could educate him. Or tease him. Or both. Both could be fun. “Primal play is one of my favorites. I enjoy spanking. The snap of pain when I’m revved up makes everything sweeter. I have a tiny praise kink.” I pinched my fingers together. “Like, tiny tiny. And I like shibari with the right partner. It’s really meditative for me. That’s just a few of the kinks I’ve enjoyed, though. There are so many more I want to try.”

Zander adjusted himself. I had to smirk. He brought kink up. 

“But how did you get started? I thought only…” He hesitated, and I could imagine his next word would be freaks or weirdos. “I thought people with fucked up childhoods got into it. I get what you were saying earlier, but you seem to genuinely love the circus.”

I couldn’t stop my hands from fisting. “People seek out kink for all sorts of reasons. We all get something different from it. My childhood had nothing to do with my exploration.” At least I didn’t think it did. “I was introduced to kink by a guy I had sex with a couple of times a few years back. He took me to a kink club, and I was intrigued by everything offered so I started trying it all.”

“I didn’t mean to imply you were…” Zander squeezed the steering wheel again. “Sorry.”

My shoulders dropped, and I took a breath. “Kink is for everyone.”

Zander nodded, as if he understood what I was saying. “What do you get out of it?”

“Depends on the scene, the day, the partner, my mood, my needs. Release of control, full control. Satisfaction.” I shrugged. “I Dom or brat when I feel the need for control.” I fiddled with the door again, running my fingers along the length. “Hence that whole threaten-to-punish-you-bit back in the trailer. I really shouldn’t have. We never discussed anything. I was out of line. Jason has me—”

“Spinning out of control, and you want to take it back? I get it.” 

I nodded. “And I may have overreacted to you going through my things. Most of the time I prefer subbing. I really like subspace when I can reach it. And I’ll top, but much, much prefer bottoming.”

“Christ, Bri. You really can’t tell me that.” 

“You asked. I’m being honest.”

Zander groaned and wiped his hand over his face. “Fuck it. I have more questions. Talk to me about this primal play thing.”

I swallowed back a whimper, just imagining Zander chasing me. I squirmed in my seat and found him smirking over at me. “You’re so confusing, Zee.” It almost came out a whisper, but I pushed enough force through the words they came out only a bit strangled. 

He cocked his head. “How so?”

I scoffed. “You’re not seriously asking me that. I basically threw myself at you before breakfast. You said we can’t do anything. Now you’re asking about kink. Confusing.” 

His mouth dropped open, and he quickly closed it. “Yeah, didn’t think that one through.” 

“No, you didn’t, because now I’m gonna share everything and watch you squirm unless you say ‘red’.” 

“Red?”

“Safeword. Because everyone knows what the stoplight colors mean.”

His fingers kept tapping along the steering wheel. “Green, go. Yellow, caution. Red, stop.”

“Exactly.” Maybe I should have asked if he wanted to play this little game. 

“Do your worst, Bri.” 

With that, I unbuckled my seatbelt and slid to the middle seat before buckling again. 

“Uh…” 

“Didn’t say I was gonna play fair.” 

For the time being, I kept my hands to myself. The heat of him sank into me in all the places we almost touched. 

“As for primal play. There can be different scenarios. My favorite are scenes where I’m being chased.”

“You ever the one chasing?”

I shook my head. “Not my thing. I love the adrenaline of being hunted, though.” And getting fucked hard into the ground. Face smashed into the dirt. Ass stinging from not being prepped, unless I took the time beforehand. “But it’s not all about chasing. It’s letting yourself be free with your expression, not judging yourself. Going with your instincts. You can do it in a bed if you want. Or wherever.”

“Sounds… fun.” Zander’s voice had gotten all rough. He shifted in his seat again. “Where do you do this primal play thing?” 

I shut my eyes. I was such an idiot last time, but Jason hadn’t given me any indication he wasn’t a safe playmate. 

“You okay?” Zander’s hand landed on my thigh, and he gave me a squeeze. 

“Yeah. Last time was with Jason and we played in the woods.” 

Zander’s grip tightened. “That was dangerous.”

“I don’t need a lecture. I’m well aware. But at the time I hadn’t known he’d violate my trust because we’d had a great connection before—”

Another squeeze to my thigh. “I’m sorry.” 

“I have limits, and he chose one of my hardest. I don’t do breath play. It’s entirely too dangerous, but…” 

“You don’t have to tell me.”

“Are you safe wording, Zee?”

“Are you?”

“No. Anyway, I prefer the woods. It makes things more intense. But I’ve played in a penthouse before. And one of the kink clubs has an elaborate maze. That was fun.”

“Christ, Bri.”

I dropped my head to the backrest. “But I haven’t done primal play since Jason. I don’t want to say I’m scared. But when Jason choked me, after I’d told him breath play was one of my limits, he took me out of the scene, which caused me to panic. Took me from having a really fun time to being terrified. I don’t mind a bit of choking.” I threaded my fingers with his. “But Jason went too far when I safeworded, and he squeezed tighter.”

“Fuck.” Zander’s hand fell away. I mourned the loss of his touch, but didn’t pursue it.

“He argued safewords shouldn’t have been expected since we were supposed to be feral and raw and truthful to our inner beasts.” It had taken everything in me not to shift in front of Jason to get away. Or use my talons. But I couldn’t expose myself like that. He was human.

“Fuck that guy.”

“Indeed.” 

“So you didn’t wake up in a meat factory. What happened?”

I laughed despite myself. “I woke in the woods covered in his cum with him pacing beside me. Apparently, he kept going when I passed out. Then freaked because I had passed out. We argued. I broke off our arrangement and notified the kink club.”

Zander tightened his hold on the steering wheel. “How long has he been stalking you?”

“He’s shown up to watch the circus a handful of times. Mostly, he just texts or calls. I block and delete the numbers, but he just finds another phone to harass me from. I ignore him.” Wishing he’d just go away.

“Brighton.” Zander sighed. “Do you have a picture of him? Description? Something I can go by?”

“Yeah. I’ll show you later.” 

Zander blew out a breath. “I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“What if pain is one of my kinks?” I didn’t want to dwell on Jason any longer. I wanted to rile Zander up and watch him get flustered.

He swallowed. “Is it?”

“No, I’m not into pain. Unless it’s spanking and whatever happens with primal play. I get so lost in the moment I never remember where all the bruises and scratches come from.”

“Fuck.”

“You really should curb your use of that word if you end up working in front of the public.”

“Shit.”

“Much better.” A laugh bubbled out from me. “So… your turn. What about you?”

“What about me?” His smile told me he knew what exactly I meant.

“You know how I like to get off when I get the chance. What about you, Mister Marine?” 

“Nuh Uh. Nope. Not happening. You’re little Bri Bri.”

“I’m adult Bri Bri. Thank you very much. And you just asked me all about my kinks. It’s only fair.”

“Brighton.” Zander groaned my name, but he still wore a smile.

“Gotta safeword. Them’s the rules. Safeword or tell me.” 

“It’s been damn near six months since I’ve had sex.” 

My mouth dropped open like the surprised emoji. “What?”

“Yeah. I was gonna hook up with that guy at the airport. We were in the bathroom on the plane, but got caught before we could do anything.”

“Damn, that sucks. But why six months? Dad said you were… well, the wordage he used wasn’t the most flattering.” I twisted my hands in my lap. The way he spoke of Zander’s sex life was one of the reasons I didn’t want my parents knowing I was sexually active. 

“I sleep around.” Zander chuckled. “But I’ve been too busy to find the time to hook up, so it’s been a while.” 

“I could give you road head.” 

“Yellow.” Zander gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles were white. 

“What does yellow mean for you in this situation? Do you need quiet or a new line of questioning? Or…”

“It’s for my dick to calm down because I almost said yes to your offer.”

I licked my lips. “You’re allowed to say yes.”

“I—we can’t.”

We sat in silence for a few breaths. “Did you know ravens can imitate human speech?”

Zander’s shoulders dropped as he relaxed. “What?” the word came out as a laugh.

“Ravens are fascinating creatures. They can mimic many different sounds. Plus, they’re nature’s acrobats. Did you know that?” 

Zander quirked his brow. “Why would I know that?” 

“Dunno. I just think they’re cool. I research a lot of different topics when I’m not training. My brain never stops.” Plight of the raven. We wanted to stuff our brains with more information.

“Why ravens?”

“Ravens and crows are so misunderstood. But they’re both such fascinating creatures. Ravens mate for life, too. Once they find their mate, they’re dedicated. I think it’s sweet.”

“Interesting,” Zander said. “You’re a little bit of a nerd, aren’t you?”

“Just a little. I love knowledge almost as much as I love the circus.”

Zander chuckled at that. “God, that’s adorable, Bri.” 

Adorable wasn’t what I was going for.

“You’re a horny little fuck, too, aren’t you?” 

I shrugged. If my shoulder rubbed against him, then, well, whatever. “We really could help each other out. Not that I’ve been celibate since Jason, because screw that. I’ve been having regular hook ups. Just not kinky ones.”

“One of these days I’m gonna cave.” 

“And when that day comes, we’ll probably both be feral.”

“Bri.”

“Just saying, you’re as wound up as I am, if not more so. I’m not the one denying what we’re both clearly interested in.” 

He swallowed over and over. I reached down and opened a fresh water bottle from the cup holder before passing the bottle to him. 

“Thanks.” He drank the contents in a few gulps. 

“I’m good to have around sometimes.” I spied a sign for a truck stop. “Turn here. I want a shower before we join everyone else. We won’t be setting anything up tonight and I don’t want to go to bed crusty from old sweat.”

Zander gave me side-eye. “Truck stop shower?”

“Uh, yeah. Some of the showers are like the best, and I don’t like using my tiny tiny shower every time, uses too much water. This way we can both shower at the same time and—”

“Brighton.”

“Separately. Unless you need help with figuring out how to use the shower.” I gave him a grin. 

“Brat.”

ELEVEN

ZANDER

Admittedly, the truck stop shower was refreshing, much better than Brighton’s tiny trailer shower. After we ate dinner with everyone else, I slept like a log. That Rhett guy sure made a mean stack of ribs. 

Brighton woke incredibly early for a run and I joined him because I didn’t want him going alone. By lunch time, the big top and Ferris wheel were up.

Something I found interesting about Brighton was, as high energy as he was, he also needed quiet time. When I asked if he wanted to eat at the mess tent, he said he’d rather eat back at the trailer.

Brighton hummed as he raided his tiny fridge and pulled out cheese and lunchmeat. He ripped open the container of ham and offered it to me. I grabbed the loaf of bread on his countertop and pulled out enough for two sandwiches each. Brighton ate a fuck ton of food. Like… a lot. As I put slices of cheese on the bread, he stuffed some ham in his mouth. 

I wasn’t sure I could stay in his presence all night. Those shorts. All that pale, soft-looking skin on display. The cheeky grins. It was too much temptation. 

Brighton’s throat bobbed when he took a big gulp of water. He smiled when he caught me watching him. “What?” 

I waved to the sandwiches, and he grabbed two, one for each hand. He took a big bite out of each, making his cheeks puff out like a chipmunk.

I snorted. So playful.

“Nothing. Do you have someone you can hang with tonight? I have a few errands I need to run now that I’m back stateside.” Like purchase a gun. Hopefully, I’d never have to use it. Maybe get a security camera for the outside of his trailer. 

Brighton straightened his posture. “Anything I can help with?” 

Dear god, this boy was too sweet.

“No, just need to do a few things. Might be time consuming. Don’t want to bore you.” The sandwich was bland, but fine. Next time I’d go to the mess tent without him. Maybe.

“I could take a book and stay in the truck. I’ll stay out of your way.” His eyes darted to his phone that vibrated and lit up on the counter. 

We both knew who it was.

I snatched the phone from the counter and answered. “You little shit. You better stop calling Brighton.” 

“Or what?” Jason taunted.

“Or you’ll find yourself with a problem.” I ended the call and almost threw the phone across the trailer, but stopped myself in time.

Brighton’s eyes were so wide as he watched me squeeze his phone.

“Fuck.” I settled the device back on the counter before I crushed it. “I’m gonna keep you safe. But I need you to stay with someone else tonight. That okay?” 

Brighton stuffed a piece of cheese in his mouth and nodded. “I’ll see if the guys wanna hang. Probably go out.”

“As long as you have someone with you, that’s all I ask. I’ll feel better if you traveled in pairs, or quads or more. Maybe the whole damn circus.” 

He nodded. “That can probably be arranged. Wanna borrow the truck?” 

“Nah, I’ll just call a cab or something. If you wanna go out, I don’t wanna take your wheels.”

Brighton shrugged. “Alright. Have fun.”

“Oh, I plan on it.” I wasn’t entirely lying about needing to run a few errands. Pick up a few supplies. But really, I needed to get laid tonight or I might take Brighton up on his many offers.

TWELVE

BRIGHTON

“Seeeevvvvv, you gotta go,” I whined. “Everyone else is. You don’t get out enough. It’ll be good for you.” Usually, he wouldn’t deny me. I may or not be his favorite, at least I told myself I was. 

“I don’t know.” He threaded his fingers through his purple hair. His eyes darted from me to Drake, to Coal. I’d brought the others as back up to convince Sev to come play with us. Surely he wouldn’t deny all of us.

“Sevvy you gotta get laid. You’ve been too tense lately,” Drake said behind me.

I held back a snort. I had never seen Seven hook-up or do the one-night stand thing. The entire time I’ve known him, Sev’s been the biggest romantic, always hoping to find his fated mate. So of course he’s not gonna sleep with a rando.

But he needed to let loose. And I needed to get laid to stop thinking about Zander railing me in the woods. That man had willpower the strength of steel.

“Rhett and Eli are coming,” Coal said. It’d taken a bit of coaxing to get Coal to join, but Rhett sweet-talked him in the end. Then me, Rhett, and Drake got Eli on board.

“Please?” I gave Sev my best impression of puppy dog eyes. “It’ll be so fun.”

A smirk lifted Sev’s lips. “I’ll go on one condition.” 

“Anything.” I bounced on my toes.

“Farren goes too.”

I could hardly contain myself. “Done. Farren loves going to clubs.” 

Everyone looked back at me like I had food on my face. 

“What? He does. I’ve seen him on more than one occasion. We’ve talked about it. He enjoys dancing and the music.” 

“Huh. Never knew.” Sev ran a hand through his hair. “Sounds like we’re going clubbing.” 

I fist pumped the air. “Yeah! We leave in twenty minutes.” Turning tail, I ran from Sev’s RV to Farren’s, then to my trailer to finish getting ready. 

Usually, I only wore makeup for performances, but tonight I was feeling a bit of liner and a bright pink smoky eye. Not to mention a tiny tiny bit of highlighter just to make my best features pop. 

Peanut weaved around my legs as I pulled out shirt after shirt. “I wish I could take you to the club, but no kitty cats allowed.” 

His sad little meow pulled at my heart. I kneeled and sank my hands into his soft fur. “We’ll have our own little trailer rave sometime.” I pressed my forehead to his before pushing back to my feet. 

I settled on a hot pink crop top—of course—with long mesh sleeves covered in silver sequins. Then a pair of orange booty shorts where the bottom of my ass peeked out. I was planning on picking someone up and needed to show off my assets. I didn’t like the idea of putting on real shoes, but last time I went to a club in flip-flops I regretted it. My poor toes had been smashed by too many people. So I grabbed my white thigh-high boots. They gave me an extra inch, I’d take it. 

Peanut darted out the door as soon as I opened it. I offered Sev and Farren a ride, but the pure terror in their eyes was answer enough. They rode together with Farren driving. Probably for the best if we all drove ourselves. That way I wouldn’t keep anyone that wanted to leave before me. 

I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d already annoyed Zander, if that was really why he had to leave. It was well known I could get on other people’s nerves. I didn’t mean to, and I’d tried to curb my stupid amounts of enthusiasm, but the circus was my home and I adored it. I adored my fellow performers and everyone that was a part of keeping the circus going. I tried to be as helpful as possible, but sometimes people took it the wrong way. Maybe it was my delivery. I couldn’t dwell on it now. It’d make me sad, and I wanted to be happy.

Speaking of… I hadn’t heard from Jason since Zander answered my phone again. Jason hadn’t chased me this far before, so I was hopeful he just forgot about me. I hated the fact that sometimes I missed the fun Jason and I had. But he ruined it. 

I squeezed the steering wheel. Sometimes I remembered how it felt when I struggled against him as he cut off my air. How scared I’d been. How angry he got when I called him out for his unacceptable behavior. But Jason never escalated his stalking. Always just watched and called. Never made any specific threats. I should have gotten a new number, but he’d still find me. I was part of a traveling circus. It was ridiculously easy to find what city I’d be in and when.

“This is about getting Jason and Zander out of my head. No more moping. No more self-pity. I’m getting laid and moving on.” I nodded to myself. 

I turned up the music and tried to forget both men. By the time I pulled up to the club, with Drake’s motorcycle rumbling beside me, I was in a much better mood.

In line, Sev and Farren towered over everyone. Sev wore one of his signature suits. This one was a deep navy blue that went perfectly with his purple hair. 

Tight black jeans looked practically painted on Farren, as did the gray t-shirt stretched across his broad chest. He already had a couple of cute twinks fawning all over him. Too bad for them, I knew the gargoyle wasn’t looking for anything. 

Drake walked up to Sev and snorted. “You even dress up for the club. You really need to learn how to loosen up.”

I spun toward Drake and put my hands on my hips. “Don’t be like that. Sev looks good and you know it. But that said.” I looked to Sev. “I put a surprise in your top dresser drawer. You might like to try it sometime? But no pressure.” 

“Please tell me it’s not something mesh.” Sev eyed me up and down.

“Nah, leave the mesh for me and Coal.” I fist bumped Coal. His costumes almost always had mesh sleeves.

Drake rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to his man. Drake and Eli were absolutely made for each other and knew how to make the other feel better, as if it was second nature. Their closeness made me jealous more often than not. I couldn’t help wanting what they had, even if it was a whirlwind of a romance.

Sev watched Eli and Drake, then Coal and Rhett. I swore he sighed and his shoulders dropped. He really needed to find his fated mate. I’d never seen him so sad until everyone started pairing up. I wanted someone to call my own too, but alas, I’d settle on getting railed at a club by some stranger. For now, anyway. 

I looped my arm around Sev’s and swung. “Don’t worry. Everything’s gonna be fine. And fun.” 

Farren kept his eye on the crowd. “Exactly, don’t worry, boss. I won’t let anything happen to you or anyone.” 

Sev smiled up at the man. “You might be the one that needs to loosen up.”

“Nah, as soon as the music hits me, I’m gonna be on that dance floor.” Farren lifted his arms and moved his hips.

Drake catcalled, “Get it, Fare! You got moves.” 

Coal still didn’t look too thrilled to be there, but laughed with the rest of us. Rhett seemed as excited as I was. Until we got to the door.

The bouncer gave Rhett one look and said, “No kids allowed.” 

Rhett huffed out a sigh and waved his ID under the bouncer’s nose. “Twenty-four.”

“Sure, kiddo.” 

I cringed. “That’s rude, you know.” 

The bouncer scanned Rhett’s ID and passed it back. Then gave me an up down, “ID, kiddo.” 

I fought back the snarl. This would not ruin the night. I handed my ID over. Once we’d all been scanned, the bouncer let us through. The place was packed, but there was still room to spread out. 

Eli’s breathing picked up, no doubt his anxiety kicking in. Drake dragged him towards the center of the dance floor, lost to me in the crowd. Sev tipped his head towards the bar. I gave him a wave of acknowledgement, but Farren grabbed his hand and practically dragged him to the dance floor, too. I snorted at the indignant look Sev gave the security guard. 

Rhett looked around, dazed by the lights and sounds and people, taking it all in. Poor guy never even left his hometown until he joined Black Cat Circus. Coal followed Rhett’s lead, looking around as if he’d never been here before. Last year, I’d dragged everyone here for my twenty-first birthday, where we all attempted and failed to get wasted.

With all my friends paired up, I found my way to the dance floor alone. I’d followed Zander’s request by having an entourage. Now I just needed to find a target.

Music pounded through me. I shut my eyes and danced with the crowd. This was the best decision I’d made in days. I was completely lost in the beat. Bodies writhed around me. Too much cologne and perfume permeated the air, but I didn’t care.

Someone’s hands shivered up my arms, and I turned to meet them. 

They were handsome. Taller than me. Muscular. Dark shaggy hair. A few crinkles at the corners of their eyes. I couldn’t tell the eye color from all the color changing spotlights bouncing around. Didn’t matter. They could be the one to make me stop thinking about Jason or Zander. 

“You’re so graceful.” Their gaze roamed my body. “You a professional or something?”

“Or something.” I winked. Last time I told someone I was part of the circus, it got me a stalker, so now I kept my mouth shut about it.

I leaned closer to breathe them in when I looked up to see a stunned Zander walking away from the bar. Zander didn’t want me though, so I kept dancing with the mystery person. I didn’t ask questions, I just got lost in the music again. Lost to a pair of hands all over me. This was what I needed. 

“Wanna get something to drink?” my mystery person said.

“Sure.” As I followed, I tracked Zander’s movement through the club. He tracked me in return. It almost felt like I was his prey, and I wanted him to hunt me so bad.

“Adam, by the way. You?” my mystery man pulled my attention back to him.

“Thomas.” I never gave out my real name anymore. Brighton was on the Black Cat Circus website and it was unique enough that a quick search would find me.

Zander inched closer, never engaging with anyone else as he sipped his drink. Why the hell was he here? Did errands include clubs these days? Whatever, it wasn’t any of my business. He didn’t want to be around me tonight. That was clear now. So I ignored him.

“What about you, Adam? What do you do?” 

We stood at the bar waiting on drinks. Him a Cosmo, me a Sex on the Beach. 

He gave me a charming smile. “Attorney.” 

“Fancy.” 

The bartender set our drinks in front of us, and Adam grabbed his to take a big gulp.

“I guess so.” He shrugged.

Zander was a few people away. What the hell? I turned to face Adam, leaving Zander to stare at my back.

“I haven’t been here for a while. I travel a lot.” I reached for my drink, but a hot body pressed against me.

“I wouldn’t drink that if I were you, little birdy.” Zander’s heated breath ghosted over my ear, causing me to shiver.

Adam wheeled back. “What? Why would you say that?” His eyes darted around.

My heart sank. “Ugh, you didn’t have to drug me, you asshat.” I cursed myself for not keeping an eye on my drink the whole time. I knew better.

Zander practically growled. “Get the fuck out of here.” He flagged down the bartender.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Adam said.

I pushed away from Zander to glare harder at Adam. “You shouldn’t have tried to drug me.” 

The bartender threw a dish towel over their shoulder. “How can I help?”

Adam turned on his heel and ran into the crowd.

I sighed and slid my drink back to the bartender. “That guy drugged my drink.”

“Shit. I can make another. Sorry about that. It’s damn near impossible to police this kind of thing.” 

“I’m fine. Zander stopped me from drinking it. There anything you can do about that guy?”

“Leave it to me.” They nodded. “Enjoy your night.” They sniffed the air, their eyes glowed amber, and they gave me a low growl.

“Thanks.”

They disappeared through a door in back. This wasn’t specifically a paranormal club, but California had big paranormal communities. It didn’t surprise me to find a wolf shifter here.

Slowly, I turned to Zander. “Thank you. I should have paid better attention.” 

“You were distracted.” His hot hand cupped my cheek. 

My breath hitched when his thumb grazed my bottom lip. 

“Maybe a little.” Why the hell did my voice have to sound so breathless?

“You’re such a tease, Bri.” 

“Don’t mean to be. You don’t want me.”

Zander groaned, such a pained sound. “I hate that I do want you.”

“What are you gonna do about it, then, Zee?” I nipped at his thumb. 

His pupils dilated. “I need you to run.” 

My breath hitched again. Did he…? Are we…? 

“Run, sweet birdy, or I’ll fuck you right here.” Zander leaned into my space and growled in my ear. “You have a thirty-second head start.”

My heart slammed in my chest. I sprinted through the throng of people and spun, looking for an exit. We could fuck in my truck. Or the restroom. Alley. Someplace. Didn’t matter. All the blood drained to my cock. What direction did I want to go? 

I looked back to find Zander already stalking towards me. The crowd turned me around, sending us towards the restrooms. 

Farren caught my eye. Concern filled his face. I shook my head and gave him a thumbs up.

I couldn’t get back through the crowd.

Dirty sex, it was. 

I pushed through the masses and stumbled into the restroom, nearly tripping over my own feet. The loud squeak from the sole of my boots scuffing the floor startled the guys making out in the corner. They disengaged from each other and hurried out, clearly displeased to have an onlooker. For my part, I didn’t care if Zander and I had an audience as long as we were fucking.

Strong hands grabbed me by the hair and whipped my head up before smashing my back against the wall. I didn’t think my dick could get any harder. 

Zander boxed me in with a hand to each side of my head. His pupils were blown so wide the brown was hardly visible. “Tell me you still want this.”

“I’m so green, I could be Shrek.”

Zander laughed and nuzzled his nose in the crook of my neck. I buried my hands in his thick hair and moaned when he tongued my pulse point.

Yes. This. So much this.

He pulled away, and I bit back a whine. “Don’t stop.”

Zander ground his hard cock against me. The sweet friction almost hurtled me to the edge way too fast. I pushed him away and manhandled him to the wall. Obviously he let me. There was no way I could have done it on my own. I palmed him through his jeans. Knowing he was big and feeling his heft was two different things. I had to get a taste.

He must have read my mind because one hand went to get his jeans down, while the other pushed my head until I was on my knees. 

When he sprang free, pre-cum dripped from his tip, making me drool. I hummed as I licked him clean, savoring the tangy taste. His cock filled my mouth. I wanted—needed—more. This was better than I had imagined and I had an excellent imagination.

He growled as I laved his cock with kisses and licks and soft nips. One day, I wanted to properly worship this beast, but today was not that day.

We fell into a rhythm. Him thrusting, pulling and yanking my hair to get my head how he wanted me. Me taking him down my throat until drool dripped from my chin and ecstatic tears streaked my cheeks. I gripped his thighs, urging him to go harder. I was in heaven.

“Fuck, Bri.” Zander pulled himself from my mouth and yanked me back to my feet by my arms. My breath came heavy. He wiped my chin with his thumb. “I need to be buried in your ass.”

“Please,” I breathed out the word. “Fuck me, Zander.” 

“Language, sweet birdy.” Zander spun me to face the wall and yanked my shorts down. His calloused hands grazed my ass cheeks before he sucked in a breath. “Fuck.” 

I arched my back, forcing my ass out, already prepped with a plug in. 

When Zander slid the toy from my ass annoyingly slowly, I whimpered. The plug wasn’t huge, Zander was gonna still stretch me open, and I welcomed the thought. He dropped the toy to the dirty floor. 

His finger grazed my hole. I pushed back, begging for more with my moans. Please. Please. Please.

“Already lubed. You’ve been naughty while I was away.” The rip of the condom wrapper filled the air. 

I held my breath, waiting. 

He shoved right in, slamming me into the wall. The burn was mild thanks to my earlier prep, but the stretch. He was huge. I moaned as he pounded into me. 

Harder and harder, his hips snapped. I pushed back, meeting him thrust for thrust. His fingers dug into my hips, no doubt leaving bruises.

“Don’t stop. So good. So so good.” 

“Fuck, your hole is so. Fucking. Tight.” He punctuated the last two words with hard thrusts. Each hit that spot inside that made me see stars and sent me to the edge too fast again.

I whimpered at the praise.

“Perfect hole. Pretty pretty boy. Mine.” Zander’s voice took a strange otherworldly quality to it, but I brushed it off. Temporary auditory hallucination. “You understand? Brighton, you’re mine.” 

“All yours, Zander. Don’t stop.” 

I fisted my cock, but he knocked my hand away and circled me with his big hand instead. My hips moved to get the best of both, his hand around my cock, and dick in my ass. “Zander, I’m not gonna last.” 

Zander’s hips stuttered, and his grip tightened. I whined, painting the wall with my cum as he filled the condom. Thunder rumbled through the restroom, rattling the mirrors on the walls.

“What the—”

“Bri. Brighton.” Zander sagged against me, panting. “Fuck.”

“No kidding.” I clenched my inner muscles, causing us both to moan. I wanted to kiss him so badly. 

He slid from my hole too soon and dealt with the condom. My ass ached in such a delicious way. Finally, I turned to face him. Like that first day, we watched each other. My legs trembled, threatening to drop me to the floor.

“I looked up that kink stuff and there’s something called aftercare? Do we do that now? Was this good?” He waved his hand between us. 

“Yes, to aftercare, please.” I let my head fall back and laughed. That was some of the hottest sex I’d ever had. Of course, I knew it was because it was with him, but whatever. “We’ll have to play again, after we talk about limits.”

Stepping close, he pulled me into his arms. He cupped the back of my head tenderly as he bent down to press his forehead to mine. I breathed him in, the electric scent all his own underneath the cologne and perfume still clinging to him from the dancefloor.

“Let’s go back to your trailer.” Zander’s lips barely grazed mine, but didn’t a make connection. “I can take care of you properly there. Does that work?” 

I nodded. Only one thing would make this night the best night of my life.

Zander’s gaze flitted to my mouth. “Can I kiss you?”

I grabbed the collar of his t-shirt and yanked him down. “You better.” 

His strong arms wrapped around my waist and tugged me impossibly closer. Our lips met, and it was a symphony of sensations across my skin. Good thing he held me because my legs buckled. I fisted his t-shirt. His kiss was what dreams were made of. His tongue swiped across my lips and I let him in. Sparks exploded behind my eyes. Zander lit me up like a firework from the inside out. Heat bloomed here he cupped my cheek.

A whimper left my lips when he pulled away.

We were still standing around with our dicks out and I already started getting hard again. I needed more. More touching. Kissing. Exploration. More Zander.

“Gotta let someone know I’m leaving.” I tugged my shorts back up, then dug my phone from my pocket to find seven missed calls. No doubt all from Jason, from yet another new number. He couldn’t ruin tonight. He couldn’t ruin anything. Never again.

I shot Drake a text, and he messaged back a thumbs up emoji.

Before I could take another step, Zander pulled me into another breathtaking kiss.

THIRTEEN

ZANDER

Brighton practically vibrated next to me in the truck. He wrapped his arms around my right bicep and leaned into my side with his head on my shoulder. Why the fuck did this feel so right? I shouldn’t want this. He was Ray’s kid, but… Brighton was incredible. Dedicated to his work, the circus, being himself. He wasn’t going to wait around for me tonight, and I could admire that. Fate pushed us together, and I didn’t know whether to laugh or curse. Probably curse. He was human, and I’d live a long ass time, maybe forever. Who fucking knew? That was why I never pursued a relationship with anyone. Watching them grow old and die would end me. But we could enjoy ourselves. 

Over the years, I thought about telling Ray and Sally about my secret. That I wasn’t exactly what they thought I was, but humans were funny creatures. Couldn’t predict how they’d react to the news, and I’d rather not end up in government custody. 

Brighton’s palm trailed over my thigh, soothing me, until he inched closer to my dick. I grabbed the wily hand and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. “Not while I’m driving.” 

“Yes, sir.”

He really knew how to make me hard. “Talk to me about limits.” We were twenty minutes from the circus. Good of a time as any to discuss.

Brighton squeezed my arm tighter, as if he couldn’t get enough of touching me. Perhaps he couldn’t, maybe he was touch starved. I had to change that. 

“They’re things you don’t want to do. Soft and hard. Soft you’re willing to explore, hard are a definite no.” 

“Can I ask why breath play is a no for you? Outside of it being dangerous. Or is that your only reason? Nothing wrong with that, either.” 

He swallowed and straightened his posture, releasing me. “It’s embarrassing.” 

I took his hand, and he sighed in relief, sagging back against the seat. 

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want.” 

He took a deep breath. “It’s the same reason I don’t like aerial silks. Don’t laugh, okay?”

“Promise.”

“When I was a kid, we were with a different circus. I was left unsupervised and tried to land a new drop. Got tangled in the fabric. And long story short, I choked myself until I passed out. Had someone not noticed me hanging there limp, I would have suffocated.”

He practically hung himself. Thank goodness he hadn’t snapped his neck.

“Fuck.” I squeezed his hand and pulled him back to me so he was leaning against my shoulder again. “I’m sorry that happened.” I couldn’t resist kissing the top of his head.

“It’s fine. I’m just weird about it now.”

“No, you’re not. No breath play, got it.”

“But like I said before, a bit of choking is okay, as long as I can still breathe a little.” He buried his face in my shoulder. “I like getting face fucked.”

“I noticed. What else are your hard limits?”

“No watersports or any body fluid other than sweat, spit, and cum.” He shivered. “But I’m not kink shaming. I tried the watersports thing, wasn’t for me. To each their own.”

“No, I get it.”

Brighton tapped his bottom lip. “Nothing that causes permanent damage or changes. No diapers or age play. I have a bunch of limits, but honestly, I haven’t really had to go too much further than stating those. Tried electrical stimulation once, and that was an experience, but I’d try it again. I’ll try almost anything at least once within reason.”

“I’m gonna say I have the same hard limits, but might need to explore further. And soft limits, not entirely sure.”

“Public sex obviously isn’t a problem for either of us.” Brighton laughed and I wanted to hear that sound every day.

“No, public sex isn’t a limit of any sort for me. Got fucked in the alley of a bar on leave once. That was fun.”

Brighton pulled away, wide-eyed. “You bottom?”

“Sure do. Not often, but sometimes, yeah.”

“Didn’t see that coming.” Another giggle. “You’re full of surprises.” 

“So are you.” 

I parked and Brighton delicately crawled into my lap to keep from hitting the horn. He cupped my face, and we kissed again. His lips were soft, and he was so pliant to my caresses. He shivered when I trailed my nails along his skin under his shirt.

“Trailer, now.”

“That’s the plan, sweet birdy.” I pressed another kiss to his lips before we exited his truck.

Brighton stumbled over his feet like he was drunk. He may have been having problems walking after I railed him. I’d need to check on that later. But now I wanted to take my time, explore every inch of that flawless skin. 

“Come on, Zee,” he whispered as he pulled me into a run.

We wove around trailers, dodging motion sensor spotlights. I’d have to remember to unload the truck in the morning. Because right now we were playing, and that was all that mattered. 

With surprising strength, Brighton slammed my back into the side of his trailer, causing it to rock before he kissed me hard enough I was sure my lips would bruise. He let me go to unlock the door, then it was me that pulled him inside. Peanut chirrupped from his spot on the shag rug, but at the sounds of our quickly heated make-out session, he ran out the door. Brighton shut the door, then stalked towards me, lust drunk. I could get used to this. I could have had this already. What a dummy I was. I dropped to the bed. Whatever Brighton wanted, I’d give him.

FOURTEEN

BRIGHTON

Wow. That was all I could say about last night. After the quick fuck in the club restroom, we came back to my trailer and Zander was so tender, making sure I was okay. Dropping kisses along my naked skin. Making sure I drank enough water. Holding me close. And cleaning my skin after we’d come again and again. He really took the whole aftercare thing seriously and so did I, taking care of him in return. We talked and cuddled. Then, wrapped up in each other, we fell asleep. 

Best night of my life. 

Most guys I played with outside of a kink club passed me a bottled water, asked if I was okay, and we parted ways. I usually had sub-drop and wasn’t a fan. But not this time. No, Zander’s care surpassed them all.

Zander’s hand trailed down my back. “You’re awake already?” 

“I don’t sleep late most days.” I pressed a kiss to his temple. “Stay, I’m gonna take a shower.” 

“I wish you had a bigger one. We could shower together.”

“I think it could be done if I sat in your lap.”

“You’re insatiable.” He pulled me down for another kiss and I melted into him. He was a damned good kisser. 

My phone rang, and I groaned, but this time it was my parents. 

“Shit. Mom and Dad.” I scrambled to pull on the shirt from last night before I answered their video call. 

Zander stared wide eyed and terrified from the other end of my bed. He wasn’t in the shot, but if they asked to see him…

“Hey, baby,” Mom said. She had her head smashed to Dad’s so they could both be on the screen. 

“How’s the new location? Where’d y’all go again?” Dad asked. “How’s Zander? Any trouble picking him up?”

“Hey. Sorry. Just wakin’ up.” I faked a yawn that turned into a real one. I was kinda tired and might take a cat nap with Peanut later. “Zander’s fine. He’s in the bathroom right now. Might be a while. He’s pretty much a giant, and the shower is tiny.” 

“Oh, I wanted to say hi. I’ll wait,” Dad said.

I grimaced, while Zander ever so slowly inched his way off the bed. Not one groan came from the mattress, and I think we both let out a sigh of relief when he eased to his feet. 

“Tell us about everything that’s happened,” Mom practically chirped. She was used to the gossip, usually right in the middle of it. That wasn’t me.

“Oh, you know. Same old same old.”

“What about Eli?” Dad asked. “He still around? He was so good with Drake. I hope they stay together. Oh, and Rhett? His food was delicious. I kinda miss it.” 

“They’re both still around. Rhett’s settling in nicely and keeping everyone fed. How’s your trip? Having fun?” I tried to keep my voice even, cheerful. They never asked about me. 

Zander finally had his shirt from last night wrangled on him. It was wrinkled to hell and back, but he still looked damn good in it. He didn’t bother with underwear and strode back to the bed. 

“Hey, Zander’s out of the bathroom. Wanna talk?”

“Yes,” Dad whooped. I passed the phone over and gingerly crawled from the bed while he chatted with my folks. 

I snuck into the shower because I really needed to wash the cum off properly. While Zander had licked and wiped up a good amount, the residue still made my skin uncomfortable. 

When I stepped out of the bathroom, Zander frowned at my phone cradled in his hands. He didn’t even look up when he said, “We can’t do that again.” 

“You told them?” Dread and relief warred inside me for a split second.

“Fuck no. I… It’s. I can’t, Brighton. We shouldn’t have done what we did last night. It was wrong.”

I fisted my hands. “List all the ways it was wrong, Zander. Because from where I’m standing, we’re both consenting adults that had an amazing night. We both enjoyed what happened. Don’t tell me you didn’t. And don’t you dare try to make what we did seem dirty.” It took all my strength not to stomp my foot.

“Fuck, that’s the problem. I loved last night. But you’re too young for me.”

“That’s a load of shit and you know it. I’m sure you fuck cute little twinks decades younger than you all the time. So don’t use that as an excuse. Try again.”

“Ray. Sally.”

“Aren’t here. And won’t be here for another two weeks or so. That’s if they don’t decide to keep traveling. Knowing them, they’ll keep going and completely forget about the rest of us.” 

“Bri… we shouldn’t.” Zander sounded defeated, but I wasn’t having it. 

“They never have to know, Zee. But the thing is, they aren’t staying with the circus. They’ll pick up their few remaining belongings and keep going. It’ll surprise the hell out of me if they do ever decide on a permanent residence, that’s just not them. So, do you really want to live in fear? Or do you want to have nights like last night until—”

“I’m afraid to lose them. They’re my oldest friends.”

“And I’m telling you, they won’t care. They might even be ecstatic that you found someone. Because we both know from that phone call you were who they were more interested in talking to.” Tears stung my eyes. My parents called my phone to talk to Zander. I wasn’t bitter, just sad. I wish they had cared enough to ask questions when I mentioned Jason the night I picked Zander up. I wish they’d asked about me instead of Eli and Rhett. Why didn’t they care?

But Zander did. He asked what I was reading that first night. He remembered I loved to read. That meant the world to me. 

“Come here.” Zander opened his arms. 

When I was within range, he pulled me into his lap. He smelled like sex and Zander and lightning. 

“I think your parents know you can take care of yourself. They aren’t worried about you because they don’t have to be. You’ve been responsible since you were a kid. Dedicated to your art. Took orders. Did what you had to do. They know you’re doing your best.” 

I nodded, even though I didn’t want to believe him.

Zander tipped my chin up. “Forgive me?” he whispered.

“If you’re done being a dummy,” I mumbled. “I am young, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know what I want.” 

“I’m beginning to understand that.”

“If you really don’t want to do this, that’s fine. I’ll drop it. But if the only real hang-ups are my age and my parents, that sounds like a you problem.” I shrugged. 

“A me problem?” Zander laughed and flopped back, taking me with him.

“Mmmm hmm, totally a you problem. So… What’s the verdict, Zee? Are we throwing away all our fun?” I threaded my fingers in his hair. 

“Fuck your parents.”

“Ew.” 

“You know what I mean.” Zander threw me to my back and attacked with tickles until the tickles turned to soft kisses, and the kisses turned into a toe curling blow job.

FIFTEEN

ZANDER

It took everything in me to peel myself away from Brighton, take a shower, and report to Seven. There was one more day before the carnival and circus started at this location. Seven wanted to talk about where to place me. He’d been busy every time I tried to talk to him before. I knocked on the door of his RV.

He opened the door, smiling, and I grinned back. The purple hair never seemed natural, but it had to be. The color was too brilliant. He also looked way too young to have owned a circus for a decade and never age. Something just wasn’t right about him, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Not that he made my hackles rise or anything. I just wanted to get to the bottom of his mystery. I had to wonder if he wasn’t human like I’d assumed all these years.

“How’s your stay so far?” Seven’s rich voice washed over me as he gestured for me to take a seat at the dinette.

“It’s great. Everyone’s so welcoming.” 

“That’s what I like to hear. We’re a family, and I hope you feel included.”

“Absolutely. And Brighton’s been an excellent host.”

Seven chuckled. “He usually excels at whatever he puts his mind to.”

No one had to tell me that. 

“Were my eyes deceiving me, or did I see you at the club last night?”

I swallowed hard. What else had he seen? “Yeah, Bri sent me a text, and I decided to check the place out.” 

“Good good. Glad you could join. I’m sure it made his night.”

He had no idea…

“Let’s get down to business. I have a few openings. At the carnival, I can put you in charge of a game booth, or there’s a ride that could use another hand. In the circus, I can put you in concessions. You’ll mostly be making popcorn. Or we could train you in various parts of set up and tear down. Depends on how involved you want to be. I know you’re retired, so you might want to take it easy.”

Brighton had shared as much. Honestly, I didn’t want to be too far from him right now, not until we got Jason taken care of. “What about security? Is there a space for me there?”

“Sure you want to be that involved?”

Shit, I didn’t know. All I knew was I wanted to keep eyes on Brighton. The only reason I wasn’t by his side right now was because he insisted I talked to Seven alone. Said he’d be fine during practice and I trusted him. 

“I’m sure I want to keep Brighton safe.” 

Seven straightened his spine. “What’s going on?”

Fuck. I didn’t mean to spill Brighton’s secret. “Just some jealous ex-lover. I got it handled, I think. I just wanna make sure I have eyes on him, ya know?”

Seven sputtered. “Ex-lover?”

His face turned red, and I couldn’t stop myself from laughing.

Seven shook his head as he chuckled. “It’s hard for me to imagine Bri with a lover of any sort. He’s still just a kid to me most days.” Seven ran a hand through that purple hair, tousling it. I’ll be damned if it didn’t make him look even more like a model. 

“The knowledge took some getting used to, that’s for sure.” I wasn’t about to tell him that Brighton and I fucked last night. And that morning. And hopefully tonight. And the next and the next…

Seven huffed out a laugh. “I guess that’s what he was sneaking out for. I always thought he was practicing mag—” He cut himself off. “None of my business.” 

Wonder what he was going to say, but I had my suspicions. I was discovering the circus wasn’t entirely human, not that I let on that I knew. “I think I’d be a good popcorn slinger. Figured I’d start small and get a feel for the place and the people and work up from there if I wanted.”

 “Sounds good. We’ll be at this location for three weeks and we’ll use that as your trial run. Report to David at the concession stand with the popcorn machine an hour before curtain call. I’ll tell him to expect you.” 

“Great.” 

Seven rose with me. We shook hands, but instead of releasing, he pulled me closer. “Don’t hurt Brighton.” His eyes glowed. Definitely not human.

“Don’t plan on it.”

“We never do.” Seven sighed as he released me. “How about we go talk to Farren about upping security around Brighton?”

Seven ushered me through the door. I followed him to a trailer three stops ahead of his. Seven knocked and the entire trailer shifted. 

I took a step back as the door swung open. Now, it took a lot to intimidate me. I’d seen some shit. But this guy was huge. Like we’re talking gigantic. If he wasn’t seven feet tall, he was damned close. With the broadest shoulders I’d ever seen in my life. He wasn’t my type to look at, too much of a baby face for me, but I could tell he’d be dead sexy to someone. His stony gray expression had me on guard. As soon as he stepped out, the entire trailer shifted upright again. He tipped his head to Seven. 

“I know we’re cutting it short, my friend, but I’d like it if we could discuss a few things about security. Apparently Brighton’s had a run-in with an ex-lover—”

Seven and I both stifled a laugh at Farren’s look of shock. His gray eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. “Ex-lover?” That voice was pure rumbly gravel. 

“I know.” Seven clamped the guy on the shoulder. “Our baby bird is growing up.”

“He’s twenty-two.” I reminded them like he’d been reminding me.

“He was such a wee little thing,” Farren said.

I remembered that well, too. The puff of black hair on his tiny head. Chubby baby cheeks. Chunky little hand holding my thumb. Eyes full of wonder. Okay, they were still full of wonder. All skinned knees and elbows. Smiles that seemed bigger than his face. Then the shy, unsure teenager that never looked me in the eye. To the very sure adult who asserted what he wanted. I think we could all be proud of the strong young man he had become. 

“Zander?” Seven pulled me back to the situation at hand.

“Sorry, can you say that again?”

“I was just asking if you had any ideas.”

I scratched my stubbled jaw. “If we have enough people to set up a perimeter watch, I think that would be a good start. Brighton sent me pictures of the guy, so I’ll send them to you.” 

Farren nodded. “Perimeter watch can be arranged. We’ll keep the family safe.”

“Okay, we won’t keep you, Farren.” Seven led me away. “If you think about anything else we can do, let me know. But we run a pretty tight show and Farren’s good at his job. I wouldn’t worry too much.”

“Will do. I just don’t know what this guy is capable of after Brighton told me what he’d done.” Fuck. Stuck my foot in it again.

“What did he do?”

“Shit. Sorry, I already said more than he probably wanted me to. It happened months ago. Apparently, the guy’s shown up at the circus. He leaves voicemails and texts. And the day Brighton picked me up, the guy showed up.”

“What?!”

Shit, fuck. “I already got on him about not getting security involved. I don’t think he needs to be reprimanded or anything. I think he was just too embarrassed about the situation to tell you.”

Seven swiped at his hair. “Damn.”

“He never told his parents either, so don’t feel bad.” 

“I can’t help it. Surely he knows he can come to me?” The subtle hurt in his voice damn near broke my heart.

“He adores you, big guy.” I clamped a hand on his shoulder and squeezed.

Seven obviously took his job as the circus’s owner seriously. The circus really was his family. I’d watched him run around over the last few days, and it impressed me with how everyone seemed to love him.

“Thanks for that, Zander. I’m happy to have you with us.” 

He patted my hand, and we parted ways. The man walked with a confidence and grace that told me he was much older than he appeared. But how much older, and what the hell was he?

SIXTEEN

BRIGHTON

I grabbed my phone and kneeled to scratch Peanut’s head. I had some time before I had the big top reserved for practice. Since Zander was talking to Sev about a job, I wanted time with Peanut.

“I’m a mess.” I flopped on the floor and pulled Peanut to my chest, where his purrs buzzed along my skin. “We had sex.” I groaned and buried my head in Peanut’s fur. “It was so good. Magical. And now I feel horrible because if he ever finds out I’m a shifter…” I squeezed Peanut close. “What would happen?” I whispered. “I’ve never had this problem before. Love ‘em and leave ‘em. But he’s living with me. What the hell do I do to keep him from finding out what I am? What we all are?” Or was it already too late? I knew he noticed how different we all were.

I knew the fear was irrational. There were plenty of humans that worked at the circus and knew the secret. They kind of had to. But for whatever reason, my parents didn’t want Zander to know. And the less people that knew, the safer everyone was. But I wanted to tell him so frickin’ badly. 

“I’ve wanted to tell Zander for years, to have someone else in the loop. But Mom and Dad said it was too dangerous. They don’t even like that there are humans at Black Cat Circus. They’d rather it be paranormals only, and they argued with Seven when he started letting humans in. Do you even remember that?” 

Peanut blinked twice for yes. 

It had been a harrowing time. I helped integrate the humans into the circus while my own parents tried to run them off. 

“The parentals say you can’t ever know a human’s reaction to news like this, and they never wanted to put their friendship with Zander in jeopardy. Like… I get it, but… it’s Zander.” I lean my face closer to Peanut’s ear conspiratorially. “People say military personnel see crazy unexplainable things all the time. I don’t know that he’d have a problem.” I huff out a sigh. “But like Mom and Dad said, there’s no way to know how someone will react and I’d rather Zander not know than find out he’d try to expose us all.” Or worse, hate us.

Peanut brushed my chin with his forehead and gave me a little murph. I soaked up the affection. Peanut understood me. Just having him listen helped. “I wish you could talk back. I feel bad being the only one that ever gets to express myself.” Another nudge, and a lick. “Love you, too.” 

My phone vibrated in my hand where another of Jason’s new numbers called me from. I’d blocked three numbers for him now. Not a fan. “I really liked Jason at first. He could be really funny and fun and the sex was... fine. Okay, it was great, but not as great as last night... Zander. He took it to another level.” I huffed out a dreamy sigh. Zander. “Uh… sorry. You probably haven’t gotten laid in a decade or longer.” I give him side-eye. “Unless you’re getting freaky with the neighborhood cats.”

“Mwarr.” So offended. Peanut blinked once, our sign for no, then settled back on my chest.

“You put up with so much of my shit.” I dropped another kiss to his head. “I wish we could go clubbing together, paint your nails, talk.” 

I scratched Peanut behind the ears some more. Other than Seven, Peanut had been the one constant in my life I could rely on for the last decade. I didn’t know how or why he found me, but I was grateful he did. My family was with a different circus at the time he showed up. One where we had to keep our raven selves completely hidden, and the owner was cruel. I never understood why we were there to begin with.

When I met Peanut, I’d been training hard that day and was exhausted, ready to be done. But the owner kept pushing me to go on. I was only eleven—almost twelve—but looked so much younger, apparently. I’d finally collapsed into a heap and refused to budge when Peanut walked up and rubbed against me. 

I couldn’t resist petting his silky black fur. The swirling purple aura mixed with a bit of blue told me he was something other. Definitely not a real cat, since their auras didn’t glow like his. I wanted to make sure he was safe until he could be set free from whatever spell had him in its grasp. He became my good luck omen.

The same day Peanut made an appearance, Seven had showed up to talk with my parents. They didn’t seem to realize Seven wasn’t human, but I could tell. I’d blink, and he’d have horns, or his skin would change color. He had to use magic to convince them he was paranormal. Seven said he was fae and I could tell that too, but he wasn’t telling us the whole truth of himself for whatever reason. I didn’t care what Seven truly was, as long as he took us far away from the old circus. 

Seven was great, and I definitely idolized him as a kid. Okay, kinda sorta still did. I was the youngest in Black Cat Circus in the beginning, before we added more and more people. He took the time to get to know me. Me. My own parents hardly cared. When it came time to name the circus, he let me do it. So I named it after Peanut.

Over the years, Seven helped guide me with my illusion magic, seeing auras, and detecting magic. Weekly sessions until I was satisfied with my results. He became the loving older brother I never had by blood. 

After the basics of illusion magic, my parents never bothered teaching me anything other than circus acts. They even said they were concerned when I told them what I saw around Peanut. They’d told me I was seeing things, that Peanut was just a cat. During one of our training sessions, Seven told me that even in the supernatural world, it was rare for someone to see auras as clearly as I could. A few probing questions at my parents and I discovered no raven child had been able to see through illusions and spells for centuries. They thought the skill had been lost to time.

“I really need to shift. I’m all itchy.” I got that way when I hadn’t shifted after a molt. “You doing okay?” 

Two blinks—Yes—and a churrrp. 

“Wanna play?”

Two blinks.

I pushed to my feet and opened the window, then let Peanut out the door. I would have to keep watch for Zander from the sky and zoom back if I saw him. 

With the molt over, I shifted much faster. My clothes fell to the floor as I shot out the window. 

Peanut chased after me as I flew low to the ground. 

I dove a few times and changed course. He followed me the entire time. I didn’t want to tire myself before practice, so I kept my maneuvers simple instead of acrobatic. The wind rustled my feathers, and I crowed a song to myself. This was the life. We played for who knew how long, but I remembered myself when I saw Drake leave the circus tent. That meant I was losing practice time. I gave Peanut the signal I was heading back—three short caws. Then flew through the window to get dressed before running to the big top for practice. 

On my way, Peanut crossed my path, trotting in the opposite direction. Probably to play matchmaker for some unwitting couple. He was such a mischievous kitty.

SEVENTEEN

ZANDER

I took the scenic route to the big top. There was too much to think about. Brighton’s safety, for one. I wanted to get to the bottom of why he didn’t tell Seven he had a stalker. Farren could have put this whole thing to bed by now, maybe. 

“Meow.” Peanut rubbed against my leg.

“Hello to you too, kitty.” I bent to scratch his head. Seriously, he had to be the softest cat I’d ever petted. The green eyes had too much knowledge behind them. Sometimes it was unsettling. He tilted his head towards the big top.

“I’m getting there.” The circus lot was beautiful. Behind us was a woods, which gave me all sorts of ideas after last night. A few of the trailers had custom paint jobs in such bright colors I wanted to study the details. The chatter of the circus folk seemed happy. People clustered together at different campers, and I wondered if they were part of the same act.

I waved to Drake and Eli. Peanut still urged me towards the circus tent, and I discovered earlier if I didn’t follow his directions, I got sassed. 

As I entered the big top, Brighton spun on his aerial hoop—the lyra, he’d told me. Not a care in the world, and he seemed so fucking happy. I slowly inched closer.

Ping.

It took me a few seconds to realize what the sound was and when I did, my heart damn near stopped.

Brighton fell. 

There wasn’t anything to catch himself on because the lyra dropped with him. Before I could take action, clothes fluttered in the air and a black bird—a raven—flew right at me while the apparatus crashed to the ground.

My brain played catch up. In mere seconds, he had shifted from man to bird. 

Brighton wasn’t human. 

Black feathers rained as the shift happened again.

“Zander.” Brighton stood before me—naked—shaking. His eyes pleaded with mine to understand. 

Good lord, this boy was full of surprises.

“Say something,” he whispered.

“My life makes sense now.”

“What?”

Dolph, a sound tech I’d met a couple of times, rushed over from the DJ booth. “Brighton! Are you okay?”

“I’m… I don’t know.” He still trembled, but I didn’t know if it was from the fall or from me witnessing his shift.

Dolph didn’t seem to care that I was there. He shook Brighton’s shoulders and forced him to look at him.

“Talk to me Bri. Are you okay?” I asked.

“I don’t know what happened. That rigging was secure. I checked it all myself. I swear it.” The warble in Brighton’s voice couldn’t be hidden.

Fuck. “Does anyone have access to all that?” I waved above to indicate the rigging. “When no one’s around? Or does security take care of it?” 

“We…” Dolph looked to Brighton.

“He saw what happened, he knows,” Brighton said.

Dolph took a deep breath. “The big top is protected by magic from trespassers. No one should be able to tamper with the rigging. We do have surveillance cameras, though.”

Brighton swayed and reached out before his knees gave up. I caught him by the armpits before he could fall to the ground. “Shit, let’s get you back home, okay? Apparently, we have lots to talk about.” 

He nodded, probably not realizing he was still naked. I’d heard shifters didn’t really care about nudity. 

“Does everyone know you’re…” I tip my head a couple of times.

Brighton nodded. “Not everyone in the circus is paranormal.” Fuck, his voice was so soft. “But everyone knows it’s a paranormal circus. Surprise.”

“We probably need to get some clothes on you. Or a blanket. Something.”

He looked down at his body. “Oh.”

Dolph gathered Brighton’s clothes for him and we helped dress him, but his legs still didn’t want to hold him. 

“Let me carry you, Bri.” 

He didn’t put up a fight, merely nodded and allowed me to gather him in my arms in a bridal carry. He clung to me and buried his face in my neck, reminding me he was still so young.

Dolph looked at me. “Take care of him. I’m gonna investigate what happened. Hopefully, the security footage shows something.”

“Let me know what you find.”

“Aye, aye, captain.”

“Not a captain.”

“Zander, then.” Dolph ran back towards the DJ booth.

I rubbed my hand down Brighton’s back. Tears wet my t-shirt. 

“Jason’s trying to kill me, isn’t he?” The words were so soft. 

The thought had occurred to me too, but I pushed it from my mind. “Hopefully, this was just a freak accident.”

A black shape ran towards me. Peanut jumped at my legs. It surprised me not to feel the bite of sharp kitty claws through my jeans as he attempted to climb up me. “Rewar! Rwar!” 

I couldn’t walk with him climbing me.

“Knock it off, Peanut. Bri just had a terrifying fall. How about you calm your little kitty ass and follow us home? I’m sure he’ll wanna cuddle with you once I have him settled.” 

Peanut meorwed at me as if he asked a question and ran ahead, little legs going as fast as they could go.

We got weird looks walking through the lot, but no one came asking about what happened. They could probably all sense Brighton wasn’t okay, but I had it handled. At least I hoped I had it handled. I was great when it came to high pressure, high-stress jobs. Right now, Brighton needed me to have a clear head, but my mind was spinning.

I got the door open with only a little bit of difficulty because Peanut decided to go back to his annoying jumping routine. “Come on, I can’t get it open if you keep this up.” He backed away and circled, as if he was looking for a place to lie down. As soon as I had the door opened, he darted inside and jumped on the dinette table, watching us with his big green eyes. 

I took Brighton to the bed, but didn’t want to let him go, so I sat and he curled tighter around me. Peanut jumped into his lap and Brighton’s fingers sank into the soft cat fur. 

“Sorry,” Brighton whispered. “I can’t stop thinking about if that had happened to one of the younger avians without control of their shift yet.” He blinked, spilling tears over his cheeks. “That could have been a kid. They could have…”

I nuzzled in his hair, breathing him in. A little sweaty from practice, but the sweet scent of Brighton. 

“You can’t think about that. The kids don’t go high like the rest of you. They would have gotten a bit bruised, but woulda been fine.” 

He relaxed into me. “You’re right. And even though I shifted, that was still terrifying. I could have gotten tangled in my clothes, but it was a risk I had to take.”

Peanut started kneading Brighton’s chest. Absent-mindedly, Brighton petted Peanut, staring off into space. “I don’t think it could have been Jason. I set everything up. No one else had been around. But I’m still scared there was the possibility it was him.” 

“Understandable.” I kissed the top of his head. But hopefully, we wouldn’t have to deal with that jerkoff ever again. 

Brighton’s hand wandered my chest, making small circles over my pec. “Why did you say your life makes sense now?”

“I’m…” I took a deep breath. I’d never shared my truth with anyone. Most of the time, I forgot. “A descendant of Odin.”

Slowly, Brighton leaned away to look at me. Peanut blinked and tipped his head up. It felt like he could see into my soul. I swear that cat knew what I was saying, and it weirded me out.

“By way of Thor, hence the red hair. My family tree is a mother fucking crazy mess. But… I have a bit of a god in me.” I shrugged. “I have some magic, too.” Okay, maybe some was an understatement. I was quite magical in my own right. Basically a god myself, but I’d never explored the full extent of those powers… I had to hide a lot of my god-self on the battlefield to keep my secret hidden. Which meant dead Marines and unfortunately, my magic didn’t extend to bringing back the dead.

Brighton snorted. “Raven shifters are descendants of Odin’s ravens. Well, my family anyway. There are other raven shifters out there not connected to Odin with different magic. It’s fascinating. Like there are wolf shifters and werewolves. And the wolf shifter types depend on—” Brighton laughed. “Sorry, I got carried away. I love this kind of stuff.” 

“Don’t apologize. You being raven, that’s why my life finally makes sense. I never could figure out why I felt the need to be a part of Ray’s life. I’d been drawn to him. Not in a wanna fuck him kind of way. Just that I needed to know him, then Sally, and finally you.”

“Wait. Is your family actually dead? How old are you really? Are you ancient?” Brighton’s eyes widened, comically large. “Uh, you can’t get me pregnant, can you? All the old gods could impregnate all sorts of creatures and people regardless of gender. You practically bred me last night.” 

I clutched him close and laughed.

“No, I’m serious, Zee.” He giggled as he swatted my chest.

“No, no chance.” 

“Okay, good. Because I don’t want kids.” Brighton pulled a face. “They’re always sticky. And crying. They smell weird. And there’s vomit. I’m a sympathy puker, Zee. I couldn’t do it. Kid-free is the way to be for me.” He nodded and settled back down.

“Same. I don’t want the responsibility of taking care of a snot factory.” Kids have never been in my life plan. I practically bought stock in condoms. “And I really am forty-three. Haven’t seen any of my family since I was probably eighteen? As soon as I graduated from high school, I was on my own. I preferred it that way. Dad has a temper I don’t agree with. Mom does too—she’s a valkyrie. They passed down the family history and taught me how to tap into my magic. It would have been irresponsible and dangerous not to.”

“Do you miss them?” 

“Not one bit.”

“You never knew Mom and Dad were shifters?”

“Not a clue. Y’all hid it well, and none of my gifts is detecting magic.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Nope. I get it, self-preservation and all. That’s why I keep myself a secret. My power came in handy in the military a couple of times, but I had to be careful, too.” 

Peanut pressed his head to Brighton’s chin. 

“I told Peanut I was scared if you ever found out. I shouldn’t have been.”

I hugged Brighton closer. “How about we take a nap? You probably need one after the fall.”

Brighton nodded and unfolded himself from my hold, causing Peanut to churrp and jump from his lap. 

Brighton’s skin was so hot. “Actually, how about we get you in the shower to cool you down? You’re running a temperature.”

“I just run really hot in human form. That’s why I keep it so cold in here. But, if you wanted to join me in there, I wouldn’t say no.” Brighton batted his eyes when he stood. 

“I don’t think we’ll fit, sweet birdy.”

“I’m sure we will if I sit in your lap.” 

“That’s the second time you’ve suggested that.” I pressed a kiss to his lips when I stood. He sighed into me and fisted my shirt. 

“I was so scared, Zander. I saw you standing there, and I panicked. I think not knowing what your reaction would be scared me more than falling. Mom and Dad said you couldn’t know about us. But Seven is okay with people knowing our secret as long as they promise to keep it. I’m cautious.” He nibbled on his lip. “Personally, I don’t think it’s right for people to know our secret unless they plan on staying. That said, I always wished you knew. You always come back.” 

I rubbed Brighton’s back, hoping my touch soothed him. “I’m not going anywhere. Unless you want me to.”

“No. Stay, please. Stay for as long as you want.”

“That could be a long time, Bri.”

Brighton circled my pec with his finger again. “I have a long life to look forward to.” 

“So do I.” I dropped another kiss on Brighton’s head. “And apparently, ravens mate for life.”

The cutest blush flushed his face. Even his bare stomach turned rosy. “I don’t know why I told you that.”

“You’re an adorable nerd who loves to learn.” I drew him into another kiss. “But, I’m not proposing life long mates or anything any time soon. I want to get to know you.” I already knew he was someone I could give my heart to. He already had a portion of it as it was, even after only a handful of days.

“I’d like that.”

I was lost in his dark eyes. I’d always thought they were pretty. Now I searched for something otherworldly in them. Nothing in his human form indicated he could be something else. He blinked, then pulled me close. There was surprising strength in those limbs. 

“Will you fuck my fear away, Zander?” 

I sputtered. “When you put it like that, how can I deny you?”

“I need to feel something other than terror.” He dropped his gaze to the floor. 

Peanut meowed around his legs, then scampered to the door. Brighton broke away from me to let the cat out. “Peanut’s not really a cat. I don’t know what he is or why he’s a cat now. But I treat him as much like a person as possible.”

I stared after said cat. Not a cat? Made sense.

Brighton took my hand and led me to the tiny, tiny bathroom. His hands grazed my stomach when he lifted my shirt. I had to bend for him to relieve me of the clothing. I let him do whatever he wanted. His hands found the button to my jeans next. The zipper. I pulled off my shoes and socks before he could start yanking my jeans off. On his knees, he grabbed the waistband and drew my underwear down with my pants. 

The biggest grin lifted his lips at the sight of my hard cock. Before he could lean in, I pulled him back to his feet, just to see him pout at not getting his prize. 

“Zander,” he whined and grabbed me with a soft grip. 

I bucked into him, leaving a trail of pre-cum on his stomach. Brighton dragged his finger through and hummed when he licked the digit clean. Fuck. I stole his hand to lave at his finger, causing him to moan. If one sound could make me harder, it would be that.

“Please. I need you, Zander.” Brighton stripped from his crop top and shorts. His body flushed from heat or desire, I wasn’t sure. 

I cupped the back of his head and pulled him into a sloppy kiss, a promise of what was to come. “Lube.” 

He pointed to under the sink and I pulled out a big pump bottle of lube with a laugh.

“I have needs.” More pouting.

I slicked a few fingers before turning him around and against the sink. His tight hole took my finger with ease. Brighton dropped his head and pushed his ass out. Gods, the arch of his back made me harder, but jealousy tried to rise to the surface at the thought of the men that’d taught him what he knew.

“More. Please, don’t tease me too long.” 

I added the second finger, and he gasped, grabbing for the counter edge. Who cared about the other guys? Brighton was mine now.

“Hell,” he breathed out like a prayer.

I yanked his head up by his hair. “Watch me finger fuck you,” I rumbled low in his ear. 

Gods, his whimper damn near made me come right there. But he followed orders, watching my hand as I plunged into his hole. He worked me, tightening his inner walls as I thrust. Fuck, I needed to be in him. 

I slicked my cock and rubbed along his crack, making him wiggle against me for more contact. 

“Please,” he pleaded again and again.

I sank into his heat. 

Brighton’s hands pressed against the mirror as he gasped. He matched me thrust for thrust like before. Fuck, I loved his enthusiasm. 

“Don’t stop. Please. Just like that. Oh! Mmmm.” Every little sound went right to my dick. 

I swear Brighton made me feel like the damn god I was.

“Gonna come,” Brighton moaned out. “Get me in the shower.” 

I lifted him, holding him by the thighs as I walked us over to the shower and settled into the seat. As soon as I let him go, he rode me like his life depended on it and gasped as he came. 

But he didn’t stop. 

Whimpering, he kept going until I held his hips still and came hard in his channel.

“Fuck, Bri.” 

He slumped against me, breathing heavy. The biggest smile played on his face when he turned to face me.

We sat like that until our breathing evened out. When my cock slid from him, he moaned. I’d have to ask his thoughts on cock warming later. Now I needed to take care of him a little bit more. 

Holding him close, I unhooked the shower head and faced it away from us so Brighton wouldn’t get a blast of cold water. Once the water was a pleasing temperature, I hung the shower head back and washed Brighton’s hair. He was so pliable to my touch, humming when I made him feel good. 

The shower was incredibly small, but like he’d said, we both fit as long as he was in my lap. I scrubbed him head to toe the best I could before I had to have him stand and lean forward to get to his ass. 

I dove in with my tongue to taste my release still inside him. Pushing back, he moaned and grasped for something to hold on to. 

I clutched his hips and ate his ass as if I’d get a prize for best technique. Maybe I would. 

“Zander, you’ll make me come again.”

“That’s the point.” I added a finger to his hole as I licked and licked and sucked and hummed. I was addicted to the sounds he made to each action. 

“Fuck.” Brighton painted the front of the shower in cum. I loved watching him come undone. Plus, I thought the orgasms would help him unwind from his scare earlier. Keep him coming and he wouldn’t worry about what happened. 

I rinsed the wall and him again before doing what I could for myself. 

“Thanks, Zee.” Brighton looked up at me with his big brown eyes as I dried him off. 

“My absolute pleasure.” 

He giggled at that and nuzzled close. Sated, he was calm again. “I really think a nap is in order, unless you want to fuck me into the mattress again.” His eyes were so hopeful.

“Nap. Then I’ll fuck you into the mattress.”

“Promise?”

“Absolutely.” I kissed his forehead before ushering him to the bed, where he climbed in naked. 

I settled in next to him, with my arm open for him to cuddle right up against me. His fingers wandered the muscles of my arms. “Do you have a hammer like Thor? Or anything like that?”

“Nope. But remind me later and I’ll show you some of the cool tricks I can do.” 

Brighton nodded. “I’d like that.” A yawn escaped, and he groaned. “Later.” 

I dropped another kiss to his forehead. He was out within a few breaths.

EIGHTEEN

BRIGHTON

I floated in a haze of half asleep and half awake. Mind drifted. Behind my lids, Zander’s beautiful brown eyes glowed red, turning him into a demon that wanted to devour me for my lies. Demon Zander morphed into Jason and grabbed me by the throat. I screamed and thrashed, trying to get away. I had to get away. Jason couldn’t get me.

“Hey, hey. Bri. I’m here.” Zander’s soft voice ripped me from the nightmare. His soothing touch pulled me closer. 

Sweat drenched my skin. I blinked and took in my surroundings. My bed with Zander. Peanut nuzzled against my head. I reached to pet him. Hopefully, I hadn’t woken him, too. 

“You okay?” Zander pressed a kiss to my temple.

All I could do was nod. “Bad dream.” I used to get them all the time, prompted by overwork or frustration with not perfecting a trick as fast as I had hoped. 

“Wanna talk about it?” 

“Not really.” I curled in on myself and pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes. 

I didn’t think I’d ever been as terrified as I was when I fell. What if it had been someone who couldn’t shift into a creature that flies? What if it had been one of the avian kids? 

Zander kissed my shoulder and trailed his lips down my arm, making me shiver. 

“We can’t fuck away everything,” I whispered.

“I know. But I also know you like it because it gets you out of your head.”

How did he already know me so well? “I don’t think that’s what I need right now, though.” I pulled Peanut into a hug. He snuggled against me with his purr softly rumbling in his sleep. “Just hold me, okay?” 

“Gladly.” Zander settled back down and wrapped me in his arms. “Get some sleep.” He nuzzled in my hair, but our peace was short-lived.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

The three of us startled awake as someone pounded on my door. 

“Hold your horses, we’re coming,” Zander hollered. “Sounds like nap time’s over.”

We scrambled to get dressed. When I opened the door, Poppy—one of the other aerialists—bounced on her toes. “Just thought you’d want to know we didn’t find evidence of someone tampering with the rigging. At least no one showed up on surveillance.” She took a deep breath and sighed it out. “I think we probably just got lax on our equipment because all the aerialists can fly. So we’re doing a full equipment check this evening to make sure we’re good to go.” 

I nodded. “I’ll be there.”

“After dinner.” 

Another nod. “Thanks, Poppy.”

“By the way, Rhett’s making spaghetti.”

My stomach rumbled. “We’ll be there.”

Poppy waved as she walked back to the trailer she shared with her wife. 

I nibbled my bottom lip. Her visit had reminded me of something, and I hated that I hadn’t thought of it before. 

“What’s this look about? You’re thinking hard about something.” Zander rubbed my shoulder.

“I can communicate with and influence ravens.” I slumped my shoulders. “But asking ravens to be sentinels never really sat well with me. Asking them to do something so outside of their nature bothers me.”

Zander contemplated my words. “Does it hurt them?”

“I don’t think so.” 

“It couldn’t hurt to have extra eyes making sure Jason doesn’t show. Ask them to watch over the lot for the next few days and see what happens.” 

I couldn’t find a reason to argue. Not really. “Okay.” I turned and went back inside my trailer, then opened the window. “I usually shift from here in case someone not in the know about the paranormal part of the circus wanders through the lot. I won’t be too long.” 

My clothes fell to the floor as I shifted. I hopped to the dinette table where Zander had a better view of me. I didn’t know why I felt self-conscious about him seeing me like this. I was proud to be raven, and I loved my shifted form, it gave me freedom. 

Zander reached out and petted my head. I preened into his touch. I didn’t think anyone had touched me in this form. Aside from Peanut. We wrestled with me in my raven form, which made me laugh because when someone came across us, they tried to run Peanut off to save me. Depending on who it was, I’d shift to tell them we were fine. That got a few startled laughs, probably because I would be naked. 

I cawed and took flight right out the window, with Zander laughing behind me. The higher I flew, the better I felt. I probably should have stayed shifted after the scare, but I needed reassurance from Zander he wouldn’t freak out about the whole being a shifter thing. 

I still couldn’t believe my luck. He’d said his life finally made sense. I had to wonder if my attraction to him was because of what he was. Probably not. He was a dead sexy redhead and even if he wasn’t some part Nordic god, I’d still think that.

Once I hit the altitude I wanted, I called upon the ravens. Magic vibrated out of me, sending my request on the wind. After a few laps around the lot, four ravens showed. I projected the image of Jason into their minds and asked them to keep watch for the next several days. 

One raven sent me the image of Jason at the circus sneaking around. It was hard communicating in this form with natural ravens. I couldn’t use spoken word. Sometimes I ran across ravens that could understand English, but that was a rarity. Still, I took a chance and thought in words asking for when they saw Jason.

An image of where the sun would have been in the sky flitted across my mind. My heart beat hard. It would have been around the same time as my fall. Another image projected into my mind of Jason running from the big tent. 

Jason had seen. Did he have evidence? 

I couldn’t concentrate on flying and found myself falling. I had to keep myself in the air. Keep myself from transforming into my human form. 

Shit. Jason had seen me shift. What would he do?

I asked the ravens to alert me if they saw Jason again. They all agreed to spread the word and take turns on watch. At least that was the impression I got. I didn’t know if they knew I wasn’t a true raven or if they thought something else entirely.

I calmed enough to thank the ravens and spiral down, letting a bit of energy out before I sailed back into my trailer. Zander waited for me with a smile on his face.

“Jason was here.” My voice was a rough croak when I spoke. “He saw. He saw me shift.” I hadn’t realized how terrified that made me. I’d put the entire circus in jeopardy. “Shit. I really have to tell Sev.” He was going to hate me. I’d put our family at risk. Tears stung my eyes. What if he asked me to leave? But I didn’t deserve to stay.

With shaky hands, I grabbed my phone and went through all of Jason’s messages since the fall. Nothing about the shift hours earlier. Nothing about blackmailing me. No pictures. Nothing. Only texts about seeing me soon with that baby doll nickname. My stomach tumbled, and I pushed past Zander to get to the bathroom to empty the contents of my stomach in the toilet. I screwed up. I should have told Seven about Jason’s stalking from the beginning and who knew what kind of evidence Jason had now. 

I brushed off my tears and sent a text to Sev. 

I messed up. Can we talk?

Sev

I’m free.

Be right over. 

Zander stayed out of my way as I dressed. When he tried to come with me, I asked him to wait. I needed to do this on my own. This was my screw up. I needed to take my punishment.

My feet grew heavy on my walk to Sev’s trailer. I didn’t want to do this. It felt like I was walking to my doom. Sev had never been mean. He was kind and patient, even when I obviously annoyed him during our training sessions. I’d push too hard, and he’d reprimand me to pull back. He was the reason I didn’t overwork anymore. He was the reason I was as dedicated as I was. Without Seven, I didn’t know where I’d be. Our old circus was sleazy, and I hated it. Had he not taken us in, I didn’t even want to think about where I’d be.

I arrived at his RV far too soon. Standing outside, I tried to figure out what to say. He’d be mad. But I didn’t think he’d be cruel. I knew he wouldn’t be. Slowly, I lifted my fist and knocked.

Sev’s eyes glowed when he answered the door. He must have been exhausted. I shouldn’t burden him with this, too. But I had to. Concern etched over his face upon seeing me. 

“I heard about the fall. Are you okay, Bri?” 

I blinked, and the waiting tears spilled down my face. “I’m sorry, Sev. I… I screwed up.” 

He clamped his hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “Come inside and tell me what’s going on.”

My legs shook as I climbed the few steps inside. He waved for me to sit at the dinette. 

I started from the beginning, trying to keep my embarrassment to myself at telling the guy I looked up to most that I was into primal play and I got hurt in the process and now hurt the circus.

“Your enjoyment of kink didn’t hurt the circus.”

“Didn’t it?”

“Not in the least. This Jason isn’t right in the head. I must confess, though, Zander already told me about this. We alerted Farren, but seems we didn’t get the perimeter watch in place in time to catch him. We’ll make sure Jason’s barred from the circus if he shows again. We’ll have to tighten things a little more. But there’s nothing to worry about. I wish you’d come to me sooner. We could have put an end to this earlier.” 

I buried my face in my hands. “I was in denial that I had a stalker and put the circus in jeopardy because of it. I hoped he’d get bored and leave me alone.” I was so dumb. “Please don’t send me away. You probably should, but—”

Sev snorted. “I’m not sending you away for being young and naïve. We have this handled, Bri. It’s okay. I’d have been angry had you gotten hurt worse.” 

I looked at him.

“You’re family, Bri. My family. I’ll protect you and everyone else in this circus until my dying breath if I have to.”

I believed him. That was the thing about Sev. He said things like that and I believed them because he didn’t lie about important things like that. Tears stung my eyes, this time in relief instead of shame, but I didn’t think I could apologize enough.

“I’m sorry, Sev. I really should have been better.”

“It’s okay, baby bird. We’re okay.” Sev was the only one that got away with calling me baby bird. He didn’t mean it in a condescending way. Though with the way I handled, or rather hadn’t handled the Jason situation, maybe I should have been treated like a child.

Sev’s heavy hand dropped to my shoulder. “I’m glad you told me. Now we can keep you safe. Make sure you get as much information to Farren as possible. Zander sent us the pictures you gave him, but more information can’t hurt.” 

I nodded. When we stood, he pulled me into a hug and I damn near started crying again. I hated the thought that I might have disappointed him.

NINETEEN

ZANDER

“Popcorn! Get your popcorn!”

If someone had told me at the beginning of the year I’d be retired from the Marines and selling popcorn at a circus, I’d call them delusional. But this was the best course of action my life could have taken. 

Last night after Brighton helped evaluate the rigging—finding a few more pieces of equipment not up to par—Brighton and I met with the security team to talk more about the Jason problem and how he got in. After Farren assured me the team had the problem solved, I was confident the security guys had it handled. I still wanted to be kept in the know, but I planned to keep Brighton safe myself. Brighton was so stressed afterwards he just wanted to be held and I happily obliged. If I could bring him comfort in any way, I’d do it. 

My booth was in the back of the circus tent behind another wall, so to speak, so no one interrupted the show. I didn’t know if the customers just thought I was hot in my black skin tight t-shirt and boyfriend cut jeans and combat boots or if popcorn just got people all excited, but we had a damn long line. 

I was hoping to sneak down to the seats when Brighton’s act started. I should have asked Seven to start on Friday instead of the first show at this location so I could see the full circus. But for now, I sold popcorn, and I sold it damn well. 

David—popcorn man extraordinaire, and maybe possibly someone paranormal—got me started on the register and I took to it quickly. It was old school, like the grocery store I worked in as a teen. Just like hopping on a bike. Once I’d mastered that, he’d put me out front to hawk our wares. Maybe it was my booming voice? Dunno, but I had everyone swarming, and I wondered if it was like this every time. I was loving the attention. 

We were ten minutes to show time. I scooped popcorn and seasonings in bags. Not gonna lie, this popcorn was so fucking good. I had a cup… or five before the start of the shift and I could eat it every day without getting bored. There were so many different kinds of add-ins we offered, so many flavors.

“Popcorn!”

The lights flashed, signaling we were close to the start. Music played through the PA system. I loved the atmosphere. Nothing like I’d imagined it’d be. I thought it’d be hokey with silly clowns, but I discovered there wasn’t one clown at this circus. Brighton said clowns freaked Seven out, so he didn’t have them. Fine by me.

“Welcome all to Black Cat Circus. Please take your seats, the show is about to begin and you don’t wanna miss a thing!” A chipper voice boomed through the speakers. The crowd dispersed to hurry back to their seats, leaving popcorn on the ground in their wake. 

David and I swept up the chaotic mess. The job was absolutely nothing like the military, and that was why I enjoyed it. I loved what I did before, but lower stress was the way to live my life moving forward.

“Have you already seen the show?” David asked.

“No, just some of Brighton’s practice runs.”

“Well, go grab a seat and come back for intermission. You don’t wanna miss it.” 

“Will do. Thanks.” 

I made my way in the dark to a seat at the back of the big top. Lights danced across the ceiling and stage area. The audience ohhh’d and awww’d at what looked to be a shooting star. A shimmering, glittering explosion burst out, and Seven appeared on stage in his Ringmaster costume. Impressive. The tailcoat, waistcoat, and top hat all had details in the exact same purple as his hair and I wondered how hard the fabric must have been to find or dye to match.

 Seven held up a glowing hand, as if he held a star. “Every evening, the sky sparkles with diamonds, each with a promise of a wish. Years ago I wrestled one of those stars to the ground and you know what I wished for?”

The audience leaned in, me included.

“A family, and Black Cat Circus was born.” 

I couldn’t help the smile. Everyone I met would say he created a loving, supportive family. 

“I let a baby bird name the circus. He was the sweetest thing. You’ll see him fly tonight.” Seven shook his hand and the “star” turned into a raven perched on his fist before flying away and shimmering into glitter.

“We have so many treats in store for you tonight. Keep your eyes open. Some of our surprises are so subtle that if you blink, you’ll miss them.” With that, Seven winked out of sight, and the crowd gasped before clapping. I’d have to ask Brighton how Seven did that.

High energy music started. Performers spilled in from backstage, clapping, pulling the audience in to participate. The performers wore matching bright leotards and tights, spiraling until they made a circle in the center of the ring. Then chaos erupted as they somersaulted outward and back, making the illusion of growing and shrinking. The entire act was mesmerizing. I couldn’t take my eyes off their synchronization. 

I had to wonder if they were part of the paranormal cast members. I asked Brighton about it and he said it was sorta rude to ask, but he said it with a smile and laughed when I’d tickled him. 

The aerialists were all avian shifters of some type. They worked higher than typical aerialists, so being able to fly gave them an advantage. Add the illusion thing Seven and Brighton did, if someone had to shift at least no one would suspect what they just saw was real.

There were wolf shifters. A pixie. Drake descended from dragons. Coal was part Vermillion Bird—no idea what that was other than not a phoenix. Rhett had a bit of dwarf in him, the Tolkien fantasy mythical type. Apparently Eli was human. Brighton named off dozens of others who I’d only met a handful of times at meals. 

Seven was fae, but Brighton was cagey about it, so I wasn’t sure what was going on there. Brighton said he wasn’t entirely sure of Seven’s story because he’d never shared. At least not with Brighton. Sadness had filled Brighton’s voice as he told me, and I had to turn his frown upside down somehow. Which meant we fucked, of course. 

I felt bad for zoning out while thinking about Brighton again. The new act had people flying from trapeze. Brighton had been a part of the team when he was younger, but he’d wanted to be a solo act so much he trained until he felt good enough to show Seven. Apparently, he’d impressed the man because the ringmaster gave him the spot at fifteen. I hadn’t realized how long Brighton had been a soloist. 

Ray and Sally never bragged about Brighton’s achievements. I guess they didn’t think I’d be interested, and honestly, I wasn’t. Brighton hadn’t been my cup of tea. I never really looked at him twice. Why would I? Kids were boring.

When I saw Brighton at the airport, I swore something changed in me. A click in my brain. Like Brighton was mine to protect, which hadn’t made sense. At least not until he shifted in front of me. I knew as soon as I saw his raven why we’d been put into each other’s paths. Part of my magic had to do with protecting Odin’s ravens. I’d been around his ravens my whole damn life and hadn’t realized it. I laughed at it all. 

The next several acts kept my attention. Then Seven announced the intermission, and I scrambled back to sell popcorn. 

“Whatcha think so far?” David asked before the crowd descended on us.

“Everyone’s so talented.”

“That they are. My boy’s part of the plate spinners.”

“They were so good!” They’d been one of the acts that had kept my attention. 

Brighton, in neon orange, seemed to lead the group of customers towards us. Tantalizing skin on display teased me, and I wanted to jump over the countertop to kiss him. He did me one better, grabbing the front of my shirt and pulling me down for a kiss. Oh yeah, I could get used to that. Kissing on the job? Yes, please.

“Wish me luck.” Brighton released me and turned tail to leave me panting for more.

“Luck,” I strained out and watched that cute ass walk away from me.

Ever since that morning’s practice, he’d been feeling much better. I think talking to Seven about Jason really helped, even if he was freaked out in the beginning. So far, security hadn’t alerted us to another Jason sighting, and Brighton hadn’t gotten an impression from any of his ravens. He said he’d get a “knowing” if they’d spotted Jason. So far, nothing. I was beginning to wonder if Jason hadn’t in fact seen anything, but was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. I hoped all he saw was Brighton fall and left before his display of feathers. One could hope. 

The lights flashed again to indicate two minutes before act two started. The concessions stand cleared out and David told me to go watch the rest of the show, so I did. 

Apparently, they kept Brighton’s main friend group for the second half. Coal had an exquisite fire dance display. I couldn’t help but be enchanted. He was a stunning man, and he had to know it. Add fire to the mix and damn.

Then Brighton. Hell. He wore a tight fitted crop top and tiny little shorts, both pastel blue and bedazzled with sequins. Glitter clung to his hair, his cheeks, even his lashes. He was literally a star. 

My star.

He held his hand up, waiting for the lyra to descend. When it did, it immediately rose again, Brighton dangling gracefully. 

Once the lyra stopped, he cradled himself within and swept his arm so fucking elegantly. Dozens of stars fell and tracked with his arm movements. He’d shown me some of his illusion tricks, but this topped them all.

Brighton wiggled his fingers, and the lines of stars wiggled too. He did a few slow tricks until he climbed up the strap of the lyra. The music shifted. Faster, energetic, so Brighton. His smile brightened. He slid down the strap, costume changing to hot pink as he moved. I had to wonder if the blue was an illusion too or if he had an elaborate quick change costume. I’d have to ask about it later.

My eyes were glued on him. He seemed to defy gravity, and I had to wonder if his practices were just the easy skills—not that any of it looked easy—or just his favorite. He was the most graceful creature I’d ever seen. He poured so much of his emotion into the performance. I could feel everything he felt, which was mostly elation and joy. I hoped he stayed like that forever. 

When his music slowed again, his apparatus spun to the floor. His costume faded until it’d turned blue again. I swore he looked right at me and winked. Stars fell from the ceiling. He hung upside down and swung before grabbing the lyra again to drop off. His smile was huge as he flung his arms out. The audience cheered and I swear he actually glowed. Maybe he did with his magic. 

I wanted to go to him, tell him how fucking spectacular he was. But I sat glued to my spot. Brighton waved to the audience one last time and ran out. 

The last act of the night was Drake, the Daredevil. And damn. Damn. Damn! He did something called the Globe of Death where he rode a motorbike in a huge metal ball. Each of his death defying feats held me at the edge of my seat and didn’t let go. 

No wonder Brighton was so enamored with all of their acts. They were phenomenal.

To say I was impressed would be an understatement. This was the most fun I’d had in ages. Even the smaller acts were impressive, though I didn’t give some of them enough of my attention. I’d have to rectify that next time. 

I joined David back at the popcorn stand when the closing music started and people stood to leave. I couldn’t let David do all the cleanup, and I needed to learn for tomorrow and the next night and the next. I couldn’t wait to do this for a long, long time. The scent of popcorn would be in my nose for hours, and I didn’t care. 

Brighton bounced over to us, back to his orange get up he wore when he kissed me earlier.

“So, what’d you think?” 

“Gods, Bri, that was marvelous. You were stunning.” I swept him into my arms and held him close. “I can see why you love it so much.” 

He sank into my arms, shoulders dropping. “Sev didn’t want me at the meet and greet stuff. So, I figured I could help you all.”

David laughed. “We’ll take all the help we can get.” He chucked a rag towards us. I caught it with ease. David gestured to the counters in front of him. “The counters are the last thing that needs cleaning. Then I gotta show Zander the last of the closing.”

Brighton grabbed the rag. “I’ll wipe down, and you can work on closing.”

“Thanks, Bri,” David said.

“Just like old times.” Brighton grinned up at the man.

I followed David around the counter to learn the rest of the job, but Brighton distracted me. He sprayed the cleaning solution on the counter, then bent over and pushed his ass out, giving me a beautiful view.

David coughed beside me as he counted the drawer. Brighton straightened his posture, but left the cutest smirk on his face as he continued his task.

TWENTY

BRIGHTON

Sunlight spilled through the crack at the top of my curtains. Morning birds chirped in the distance. Not one message from any of the ravens since I talked with them. And not one message from Jason since the day of my fall. I didn’t know how I felt about that. Was he playing with me? Had he alerted the media? Surely we would have had a visit from a news team by now if he had? Maybe I should ask Eli how all that worked. He had been a journalist. I shook my head. Everything was wonderful. Zander survived his first circus weekend and loved it. We have a few more days off before the next. Maybe Jason finally moved on.

Zander’s arm was wrapped around me, his morning wood pressed between my cheeks. I wiggled to see if he was awake. Moaning, he squeezed me closer.

“Keep moving like that.”

I obliged, grinding back against him. Zander slid his hand along my thigh, then back up to pinch my nipple. He’d discovered how sensitive my nubs were and he played with them every chance he got. We moved slowly, just savoring the sensations. While I loved a good pounding, sometimes slow and sensual was just as incredible. 

Zander rolled on top of me and took our cocks in his hand, using our pre-cum as lube. 

He leaned down to kiss me. So soft. “I want to take you on a date.”

I don’t know why that made my heart flutter. He had said he wanted to get to know me. And I wanted to get to know him. He’d stayed with me in my trailer for ten days now and while we were learning about each other, most of it had to do with bedroom activities. Not that I was complaining. 

I nipped at him softly. “I’d love that.” I also loved that he no longer seemed to care who my parents were. They hadn’t called again, but it was inevitable and I had to wonder if, when they did, he’d change his mind about our little slice of paradise.

“Tonight?”

“Tomorrow.” I moaned as he squeezed our shafts. “Standing play date with the other avian shifters every Tuesday.”

Zander’s free hand slid up and down my body, making me writhe. “Was I around when you had this playdate last week?”

I shook my head, panting. “Last week, it was really fortunate you needed to go out. Then I needed to… get laid.”

Zander’s kisses peppered my cheeks. “I’m glad I found you in the club that night. We should do something like that again soon.”

Another moan escaped my lips. “Absolutely.”

“Maybe something in the woods?” Zander’s hand circled my throat lightly as he ground against me. “Someplace we can use magic?”

“Never used magic with sex before. Mine’s mostly illusions, anyway.”

“Which would be fun, don’t you think?” Zander slid down my body to take my cock in his mouth.

My hands threaded through his thick hair as he licked along my length. Hums sent delectable vibrations through me. His big hands kept my hips still, much to my dismay. Zander took his time, savoring my cock until I was ready to crawl out of my skin from the sensation.

“Zee, please,” I whined. 

“Tell me what you need, Bri.” 

I gripped his forearms, trying to thrust. “Make me come.”

“How do you want me to make you come?” He gave a kiss to my tip.

I didn’t know which Zander I liked best, soft and sweet or feral beast. Both. “Don’t care, just make me come.”

“Nuh uh, you gotta tell me, sweet birdy.”

I cried out when he did something wonderful with his tongue along my balls.

“Please.”

More humming, and I fisted the fitted sheet below me.

“Keep sucking. Don’t. Stop.” 

Zander smiled with my dick in his mouth and followed directions. His hands released my hips to massage my balls and grazed my hole. 

“Don’t stop,” I panted, watching him devour me like I was a treat.

My hands went back into his hair.

“Gonna come.” 

His cheeks hollowed. My back arched off the bed, and his hands scooped under my bottom to hold me up. Zander swallowed my cum greedily.

“Holy hell, Zee.” I dropped to my back. Sweat made the sheet and pillow cases stick to me uncomfortably.

“You know… before you, it’d been a while since I blew a guy. Glad you enjoy my rusty skills.”

“I wouldn’t say they were rusty. It’s like a spa day. My dick’s being pampered by your obviously superior technique, granted by age.”

He quirked a brow. “Calling me old?”

“Nope. Not even.” 

“Sure. Sure. You into roleplay?” Zander smiled at me from between my legs and massaged my thighs. “Want me to be your naughty masseuse? Keep the dick pampering going.”

“I don’t think I’d say no. Been awhile since I got a proper massage.” 

He nuzzled my thigh and breathed me in. “I don’t like the idea of someone else touching you.”

“That was obvious when you growled. Legit growled at Poppy yesterday morning.” I pushed to my elbows. “You can’t do that. Besides, Poppy isn’t a threat to us. No one is.”

“I apologized,” Zander mumbled. “I didn’t mean to growl.” 

“I know. Come here.” I’d been noodle-fied and couldn’t move. 

Zander crawled up my body, taking his time, dropping kisses on my naked skin. By the time he laid next to me, I was ready to go again with his fist on my hard cock.

“So responsive. And you make such pretty noises, Bri.” 

“That’s what one of the Doms I worked with before said.” 

A rumble like thunder came from Zander’s chest. I giggled as I thrust into his offering.

I reached for him, but he took my hand and kissed my palm. “I’m not gonna come again until we do that primal play thing in the woods.” 

“You were serious? You want to do a scene in the woods?”

“Fuck yes I do.”

“Do you want me to abstain from coming?” I asked.

“Definitely not. I want to keep making you come morning, noon, and night.”

“I won’t argue with that.” I let him finish me off a second time before I crawled out of bed to shower.

The shower really was only meant for one at a time, unfortunately.

Zander had been the most attentive lover of my life. He anticipated my desires. Asked for what I wanted. Didn’t just take. It was exhilarating. I wondered if that was just how he was, or if I was special. I tried not to dwell on it as I washed, cleaning the cum from last night from my skin. 

As much as I’d been enjoying everything Zander and I did, I felt bad about neglecting Peanut. He hadn’t been spending as many nights with me since Zander arrived. My parents had never liked Peanut being in the trailer. I remember when we first became friends, how I had begged and pleaded until they let up and allowed him to stay without a fuss. It may have been a childish thing to do, but I had been a child at the time. By now, I thought of my trailer as really our trailer. It had been just the two of us since my parents retired and left for their celebration trip.

I’d have to apologize. And convince Zander to have sex in other places or times or something so Peanut could have a comforting place to sleep again. Unless he was getting comfy someplace else with someone else. I fisted my hands as jealousy flared in my heart. Peanut was my friend.

Shit. I shook my head. Peanut could do what he wanted. But I needed to check in with him. 

When I pulled back the bathroom door, I found Peanut curled on the dinette table with Zander reading to him from a magazine. One of my Archaeology magazines full of fascinating stories and discoveries I couldn’t get enough of. My heart was so full seeing my two favorite people getting along. Zander’s smile grew when he saw me. 

“Your little kitty friend’s a good listener.”

“The best.” I tugged Zander up to plant a chaste kiss on his lips. “Your turn. I don’t know how Peanut can stand you smelling like a sex god.” I walked past Zander to slide into the dinette to pick up reading where Zander left off. I’d already read the magazine front to back several times, but I never got tired of it. 

I waited for the shower to start before talking to Peanut.

“You doing okay? I’m sorry we keep running you off with all our sexy times.” I scratched him under his chin and he purred. 

Two blinks for yes that I took as he was doing okay. 

“I don’t want you lost somewhere uncomfortable. And I don’t want you having to eat trash because Zander’s balls-deep in my ass.”

I swear the cat snickered.

“You’d tell me if you weren’t doing well, right?”

Two blinks and a lick to my cheek. 

“Okay, well, next time you end up in the trailer while Zander’s railing me, then maybe instead of screaming, you could hide in the bathroom until we’re done.” While he had his weird teleporting ability, it didn’t seem to work at all times. I still hadn’t figured out what triggered it.

Peanut snorted and tipped his head, as if to examine me. I swiped my hand down my hair. When he looked at me like that, I felt self-conscious. “Something weird going on with my hair?” 

One blink, a lick to my nose, and he jumped to the floor just as Zander walked out in a skimpy towel. 

“We really gotta get you size appropriate towels,” I said.

“Nah, I’m good.” He pulled the towel from his waist and scrubbed his hair, making me laugh and Peanut yowl to be let out.

“Don’t tease him, Zee.”

“Sorry, little Pea.” 

I swear Peanut, and I made the same face. “Ew. No.” 

Zander just laughed and wrapped the towel back around his waist before shutting himself back in the bathroom. 

“You want the tablet left out?” I asked Peanut. Years ago, I’d discovered he enjoyed reading too. “It’s supposed to be another scorcher. You can stay in the nice AC.” Magic came in handy with allowing the air conditioning to work without electricity. My parents had it rigged up, and it was one of the modifications I’d loved ever since.

Two blinks. 

I pulled the e-reader from the overhead storage and plugged it in so he wouldn’t lose power. His toe beans could turn on the tablet and tap to the next page, but they were too big to type out a message. No matter what we did, somehow he ended up taking selfies of himself. 

I turned the screen on and went through the options with him. He couldn’t scroll without catastrophe. One time he accidentally bought a hundred dollars worth of books trying to go back and it was a whole thing, but we ended up reading everything he’d bought that day. He patted my hand when we got to the one he wanted to read. 

“You two are the cutest, you know?” Zander exited the bathroom dressed in jeans and a t-shirt with the towel on his head as he scrubbed his hair again.

“I know.” I gave him what I hoped was a cute smile before going back to making sure Peanut was comfortable. We moved the tablet onto the bed and opened the big wrap around window. That way, he could people-watch if he wanted. Zander had changed the sheets while I showered. 

We gathered said sheets and our dirty clothes. Zander had been so surprised when I told him we used laundromats and not magic. Since we were a magical circus and all. I grabbed two rolls of quarters from the kitchen cabinet.

“Watch the fort, Peanut.”

He meowed in acknowledgement, and I led the way to my truck.

TWENTY-ONE

ZANDER

We could have fucked at the laundromat. But… Brighton invited Drake and Eli. And Coal and Rhett. The whole damn gang was here, filling the place. Thank goodness it was too early for anyone else to be there because there wasn’t any room at the inn. 

Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed getting to know everyone. But I also didn’t want to do everything with everyone. We ate breakfast all together. Sometimes other meals or snacks. Sometimes Brighton cross-trained with one or both of the guys. He coached the younger aerial team. There was a lot going on and I just wanted to be selfish and keep Brighton all to myself. But fuck did he blossom around his people.

Drake had the lot of them laughing over something. Usually I’d be right next to Brighton, but I had been acting a little wolfish, so I stayed back. 

Coal wasn’t up in everyone’s business, either. The guy was quiet. One of those guys that seemed tall, dark, and deadly. Not that I thought he’d do anything. Just the whole vibe he gave off was don’t fuck with me, and I didn’t plan on it. How he and Rhett ended up together was still a mystery to me, but Coal watched the shortest person in the room with moon eyes. Man was whipped. Not that I could say much. The room was one big love fest filled with friends more like family of their own choosing and damn, did it make me feel good. Even if I was horny as fuck. I’d done it to myself, though. Why’d I say I was gonna go without coming until we got freaky in the woods? It could be days. Or, gods forbid, weeks. 

“—afternoon?”

“Hmmm?” I answered Brighton. “Sorry, zoned out, looking at your cute little ass. What’d you say?”

“Just asking if you wanted to hang with the guys this afternoon while us birds do our thing? We usually fly for a couple of hours. You might get bored.”

“I could lay out and watch you, then take a nap in the sun like Peanut if I get bored.” 

That earned me a smile. “Okay.”

Every washer went off, and we all moved as a unit to get clothes from washer to dryer and fresh loads started. Kinda freaky how well we worked together, to be honest. 

Brighton made his way back to me from the dryer as I finished with the new wash load. A fucking frown marred his pretty face as he looked at his phone. I pulled it from his grasp, but it wasn’t what I’d feared.

Dad

How’s Zander doing? Seven adopt him yet? We’ll all have to share him. :laughing emoji: 

Not to be nosy, but I scrolled to the message above. Nothing about asking Brighton how he was doing. Always something about the circus or me or a variety of other things. 

“I’m so sorry, Bri.” I pulled him into my arms for a hug. A chaste hug, but my dick wanted to wake up. Fuck.

“Not with everyone around,” Brighton whispered.

I teased him by thrusting a bit. “Sorry, just happened. Swearsies.”

He laughed into my shoulder, but it turned to a sob. Fuck. “Hey. Hey. What’s wrong?” I didn’t pull him away to look at him because I wasn’t sure he wanted everyone to know he was crying. I just cupped his head and held him close.

For a long time, he clung to me. The others started to give us strange looks, then went back to their conversations or phones. I was sure if we had been getting a little freaky, at least a few of them would have smelled it.

“I’m here, Bri. I’m not going anywhere. You can tell me anything. You know that, right?”

“I don’t want to put you in the middle of things with my parents.” His words were so soft, I strained to hear him.

“Come on, sweet birdy, let’s go outside and talk, okay?” 

He sniffed and nodded before pulling away and wiping his eyes. He kept his back to the group, probably embarrassed. He needn’t be, though. I didn’t think any one of them would judge him for how he felt right now. But… they were all older than him. I noticed sometimes he still lashed out like a child or teenager and then apologized so much it was comical. Usually, it was after high stress. Like after he discovered Jason had been at the tent and potentially saw his shift. But Jason hadn’t contacted him since.

“We’ll be right outside, y’all,” I said. “Come get me if our stuff gets done before we return.” 

Concerned eyes darted from Brighton to me and back. 

“I got him, guys.” I led Brighton to his truck, then dropped the tailgate and hoisted him up. 

Tears swam in his big brown eyes. “Sorry.” He wiped at his nose and kept his gaze on the asphalt. 

I tipped his chin up to look at me. “It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. And don’t worry about how I might react. I want to make sure you’re okay. The text upset you and I get it. Do they ever ask you how you are?”

Brighton shook his head, dropping his eyes to the ground again. “It shouldn’t bother me so much. It is what it is. I’m literally an afterthought to them.” He wrapped his hands around the tailgate. “I researched raven parents when I was younger. I wanted to know if ravens were inattentive parents and maybe they just tapped into that part of themselves in their human form. Nope.” A humorless laugh puffed out. “Raven parents are actually great and doting. Mine are obsessed with each other and forget I’m around. But thank goodness for the trailer, I guess.” 

He blinked, and a fresh stream of tears trailed down his cheeks. “Just once I’d like them to care about me. Or maybe… Maybe it’d be better if we all just stopped pretending.”

I always thought it was surprising that Ray and Sally had a child. They never seemed the type and now I knew in my gut I was right. 

“I couldn’t tell them about Jason because they’d just make me feel worse about it, like it was my fault.” He threaded his fingers through his hair. “It was my fault.”

“No, it wasn’t. Jason’s obsession has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with him.”

“Sure. Anyway, we should probably get back. They probably all think we’re out here having sex.”

“We’re not leaving this spot until you’re smiling.” 

He gave me a creepy fake smile that had me laughing, which sent him into a fit of giggles. I gave him a few tickling pokes to keep the joyous sound going, but I had one question I couldn’t keep quiet any longer. 

“But why didn’t you say anything to Seven?”

Brighton fisted my shirt and pulled me closer to lean against me. “I didn’t want him to see me as… as… I don’t know. It’s like when you assumed kink was only for messed up people. I didn’t want him looking at me any differently. I’m not ashamed, but I don’t like the thought of people thinking of me as a weirdo or a deviant or something. That’s not what kink is. I really shouldn’t have worried, though. He took it all in stride. Like you… and the guys, he said what Jason did wasn’t my fault.” 

“Because it’s not.” I pressed a kiss to Brighton’s hair. “Let’s get these clothes done so you can go play with all your birdy friends. I think you really need it.”

“I do. It’ll help, promise.”

“You don’t gotta promise anything, sweet birdy. Just keep being you.”

TWENTY-TWO

BRIGHTON

Wind in my feathers was the best. Poppy was a beautiful red-tailed hawk shifter, and she was already soaring in the air when I showed up. In nature, our bird selves wouldn’t be friends. I was glad we weren’t natural birds because she was so much fun to play with. 

We flew high above the lot. Zander laid in the empty field with Peanut in his arms. The scene made my heart flutter just like this morning. 

The Ferris wheel was in the distance. This week, I wanted to take Zander to the carnival on Saturday and show him the fireworks after the show. Actually, I should ask him about that first. I didn’t want to take him to a firework show and accidentally traumatize him. He didn’t seem bothered last Saturday, but we were inside, distracted by the time they started. His military career was one thing I hadn’t asked him much about. 

Poppy and I zoomed close and dodged and weaved and bobbed. The other aerialists joined slowly until all twelve of us were in the air. There were seven on the trapeze team, four offspring, and me. The tweens had wanted to be part of the aerial team, but didn’t want their parents training them. I could understand that. They banded together a couple years ago and asked if I’d teach them. I’d been training them ever since, in a much softer way than I’d been taught. 

And while I enjoyed the challenge, children weren’t in my future. I knew in my heart I couldn’t do it. I didn’t have the parental instincts others seemed to have, and I was selfish with my time. Maybe it was how I was raised, or maybe it was just how I was. Despite that, I was patient with the younger ones. They didn’t deserve to be snapped at or pushed to exhaustion. 

Slowly, the sun descended. My stomach rumbled. Everyone started to give their signal to head back—three calls. When I was the last bird flying, I reluctantly followed, not wanting to be alone. 

We’d been in the air for hours and I loved it, but I was so ready for human food. 

I didn’t eat as raven if I didn’t have to, mostly because my raven would literally eat anything, even seeds out of shit, and I didn’t feel like shifting to poop mouth again anytime soon. Not that that had happened in a very long time. No, it was toddler Brighton that shifted and ate shit. Luckily, it was one time my parents had cared to notice and cleaned me up. The whole thing still embarrassed me to this day, and I didn’t even remember it. 

I soared to the ground and hopped on top of Peanut, slightly nudging him with my beak. He murpphed, but didn’t otherwise move. Guess he didn’t want to play. I hopped off and nudged Zander in the shoulder with my head until he groaned and sat up slowly. Peanut churpped in his arms and twisted to get out of his hold. 

My raven laugh sounded like a croak at how cute Zander looked so disoriented. I wanted to lay kisses all over him, but we were in the open. I hop danced on the ground, flapping my wings, making Zander chuckle. He held out his arm for me and I hopped on, keeping my talons as loose as possible so as not to hurt him. I could have flown back to the trailer faster, but I liked this strange display of him walking me home as a raven. I rubbed my head along any part of him I could reach. I needed him to know how much I appreciated him. How much he made me happy and how I felt loved. 

I damn near tumbled from his arm. Loved. Love. In ten days, he had made my heart very happy. And while I was sure a lot of my feelings had to do with how he played my body like an instrument, he was also caring and attentive outside the bedroom. 

Like at the laundromat. I think everyone noticed my distress, but I wasn’t sure they would have understood. My entire life was a lie to everyone in the circus, Seven included. No one knew how my parents were. That was on me for not saying anything, but I’d been too embarrassed to speak to anyone. And who would I tell? 

Seven. The answer was Seven. He’d always been there for me, no matter what. I should have told him about my parents, and I should have told him about Jason. 

A sad cry escaped my beak, and Zander looked at me with concern. He was so damned perceptive, and I loved that about him. Perhaps it was his military training, I didn’t know. There were so many things I loved about this man, and right now it was the head scratches.

As soon as we were in my trailer—after a few strange looks—I shifted in an explosion of feathers and yanked him down to press my lips to his. I needed to taste him. Feel him.

“You okay, Bri?” He laughed as I lunged for another kiss.

“So okay. The most okayest. Great. Amazing.” I babbled a little longer. Words were so freaking hard shifting from bird to human, but I think he got my drift. He kissed back with the same ferocity as I did. “Just wanna keep touching you. Amazing. Zee, you’re amazing.” 

Another chuckle. “Still not coming until we play in the woods, but I’m so damned ready to make you come your brains out.”

“Yes. Please. That.” But my stomach betrayed me and rumbled. 

“Later.” Zander pressed gentle kisses along my stomach. So soft I wanted to cry. 

“I want to take you to see the fireworks on Saturday after the show. Is that okay?” I nibbled my bottom lip, waiting for his answer.

“That would be wonderful. Why wouldn’t it be… oh.” He dropped his eyes to the floor, then back to me. “I don’t have problems with fireworks. Nothing so far at the circus has triggered anything. I thought Coal’s act would set something off in my brain, but nothing.” 

Zander sat on the bed and pulled me to his lap. He carded his fingers through his hair before continuing.

“I lost a lot of guys in an explosion a while back. It was huge. I went deaf for a few days because it fucked up my hearing. The only reason I didn’t die too was because of what I am. Everything healed, but I had to hide for a bit so the folks in the hospital didn’t see how rapidly I’d gotten better.”

“I’m so sorry, Zee.”

He kissed my temple and continued. “There are a few other things, but let’s just say fire played a big role in everything that went wrong in my career. I don’t blame the element, though. I think I’m okay for the most part, ya know? But sometimes I feel guilty because I don’t have PTSD. I’ve seen a lot of shit, Bri. Done a lot of shit.” He squeezed me close. “And I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe from Jason, even if it means putting a bullet in his head. Understand?”

I nodded, not much I could say to that. “Thank you.”

“I want you safe, Bri.”

I blinked back fresh tears. This was beginning to be a whole thing. I hadn’t cried so much before he came into my life. “Thank you, Zee, for everything.”

He dropped another kiss to my head. “Okay, enough about depressing shit. Let’s get some food.”

TWENTY-THREE

ZANDER

I was glad Brighton didn’t want to go on our first date after his playtime yesterday. I had a lot to think about before. Like, what did I want my life to look like? Was I happy here? Was ten—now eleven—days enough time to decide I wanted to be a part of the circus family Brighton loved so much?

Yeah.

I loved it here. I mean, sure, the constantly being up in everyone’s business could be annoying in the long run. But I was in the military for over twenty years. I’d argue circus life was easy living, plus I got to do the traveling I loved so much.

For our date, Brighton wore a deep violet dress shirt, black skinny jeans, and Doc Martens. A silver belt hung low on his hips. He looked positively stunning, and I wanted to strip him bare. At least unbutton the bottom of his shirt so I could see his stomach he showed off every damn day. He’d styled his black hair in a chaotic mess. Curled his mile long lashes and dabbed on a bit of lip color. 

Brighton and I stood at the host stand in a little Italian restaurant. Seriously small, but intimate and cute. The vibe was right for what I wanted, romantic, of course. My sweet birdy deserved to be wined and dined and I was gonna give him that experience.

“Oh, wow!” Brighton spun and took the place in. The archway mural was a beautiful field of grapes and a whole scene depicting the wine-making process. I wasn’t even sure if Brighton drank wine, but I knew he loved pasta. Carbs anyway. And what better carbs than noodles? “I love it!” He spun again. 

I didn’t care for the host’s side-eye when they took us to our seats. They could shove whatever opinion they had up their ass. I loved—fuck. I loved Brighton. I’d do anything to see that smile on his face every day for the rest of my life.

He launched himself at me for a hug. “Thank you, Zee.” 

“My pleasure, sweet birdy.” I pulled him closer and nuzzled his head. He smelled so damned good. “Come on, let’s have a look at that menu.” I pulled his seat out for him and he giggled. Gods, he was so endearing.

“No one’s ever done that for me,” he said as he scooted his chair closer to the table. “Thank you.”

“You deserve to be treated like a prince and that’s what I aim to do.” 

Another adorable giggle. Fuck. My pledge to stay orgasm free might be the death of me. 

“It all sounds so good.”

“Order as much as you want, we can take leftovers and fill your tiny fridge.” 

He practically bounced in his seat. “And dessert? Can we?”

“Absolutely. We can get it first if your little heart desires.”

He nodded once. “Yes. Let’s do that. Dessert, then dinner.” 

I flagged down the server, and we ordered dessert first, which seemed to annoy the poor person. But I wasn’t about to disappoint Brighton on our first date.

The obscene sounds he made with each bite of his tiramisu only made me laugh. Obviously, the point was to turn me on, which was working. But he seemed to also genuinely enjoy what he ate. There was a bit of cocoa powder on his chin. I leaned in and brushed it away. 

“Tell me, have you been on a date before, sweet birdy?”

He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before he saw the napkin on the table and dabbed at his lips with the cloth. “A few. The first guy I dated was nice, but boring. We went on three dates and—”

“If he was boring, why’d you keep seeing him?”

Brighton chewed his bottom lip. “Uh, he was good in bed. Apparently, I have no self-restraint and sleep with people on the first date.” 

“Every time?”

A cute little head shake. “No, but more often than not. One thing leads to another and I fall into someone’s bed. What about you? Have you dated?”

“Rarely. I tried it in my youth and just didn’t care for it when all I was after was fucking or getting fucked.” 

Brighton’s shoulders dropped and his eyes wandered to the plate in front of him, where he poked his tiramisu sadly with his fork. “Is that still all you want?”

No. Not even close. “Look at me, Brighton.” 

His breath hitched. Pretty brown eyes flitted to mine. He waited. I didn’t know what to say. “In my life, no one’s intrigued me as much as you.” I leaned in and talked softer so no one could hear us. “A sweet little raven shifter who loves to read and researches the most random stuff. Wears crop tops all the damn time and has an apparently magical cat—”

“He’s really not a cat.” Brighton snorted. “I sound crazy, I know.” 

“I believe you, though. There’s something behind his eyes that makes me understand.” 

“Exactly!” Brighton slammed his hand over his mouth. “But no one believes me.”

“The way the smallest things make you happy. Gods your eyes light up when you give one of your gifts. Your cute little humming. Do you even know you do that?”

His cheeks turned red when he shook his head.

“Not to mention how you enjoy pleasure so much. It’s intoxicating. While you might be young, you know what you want and you go for it.” I dropped my hand across my body as if to present myself. “Case in point.” 

He snorted again and took another bite of his dwindling treat.

“So no, I don’t just want sex with you. I want so much more. Things I never imagined wanting before. Like star gazing while you regale me with whatever facts you discovered about the sky we’re looking up at.”

He bounced in his seat as if he already wanted to spill the sky’s secrets. But I held up a hand. 

“I want to be your safe place, Bri. Even if we don’t pan out, I want you to know I’m here for you.” I smirked. “That all said, I still plan on making you come so much you’ll think I melted your brain.”

The moan that came from Brighton’s lips made me rethink my words in public. I gotta keep my dick in check on this date.

“But you’re so much more than a sexual conquest for me. I want to know every inch of that constantly going brain of yours. As well as learn every inch of your body.”

“I think you’ve got my body memorized,” Brighton said, cheeks pink.

“Nah, there are a few parts I haven’t explored.”

“I want to know you like that too,” he whispered. “I have so many questions, but feel weird asking them.”

“Don’t feel weird. I want you to be comfortable talking to me about anything. I mean anything.”

Brighton thought for a moment and nodded. “I’m going for it. Why did you join the military? Then why did you suddenly decide to retire?”

I snorted into my water glass. Right out with the hard stuff. Another reason I loved him so much. “Talking about my career is… hard. But I want to answer your questions, so bear with me.”

“Take your time. You don’t have to answer, though. Not if—”

“Are you ready to order?” The stuffy server showed up as soon as Brighton took his last bite of dessert. I nodded to Brighton to have him order first. He seemed to order everything on the menu and I didn’t bat an eyelash. In fact, I was ecstatic he took me up on the offer. The server’s eyes practically bugged out of their face. I wasn’t sure if they were impressed by the sheer amount of food Brighton ordered, or just calculating the dollar signs for their tip. 

Once Brighton finished his order, I added mine, a few main entrees I was sure to finish in the restaurant. 

Alone again, I took my time turning over my answers in my head. On the surface, they were simple. I was a simple man, but inside I knew my reasons were more complex. “I joined the Marines after 9/11. I couldn’t be killed, and battle coursed through my veins, according to my father. I knew he was right. The entire time I’d been in school, I’d gotten into fights every day for damn near anything. I wanted to travel, didn’t care where. Didn’t wanna go to college. So I took that horrific event as a sign to do something with my life. Do I agree with a lot of the politics in our country? Fuck no. But I’m fiercely loyal and I’ll proudly wear the badge of Marine until my dying day. The military gave me structure, a routine, a purpose.” I gave him a small smile. “And a family I could count on.”

“That’s what the circus is to me. I’m so grateful for Sev and everyone.” 

“I know you are.” I took his hand in mine. “As for why I retired.” More complicated reasons masqueraded as simple. “I was ready to move on. Ready for a new adventure. I’d done what I set out to do. Now I’m ready for a life that’s a lot less high alert.” And a lot less responsibility.

“I get that. Not that circus life could ever be compared to being in the military. I’ve been in the circus my whole life. It’s a lot, but I love it.”

“Even though your parents forced it on you?” I hated how that had happened to him.

“Yeah. I mean, what else was there I could do about it at the time? But I genuinely love what I do. I can’t imagine another life.” He wiggled in his seat with the biggest smile on his face.

“Have you ever been on vacation?”

He tipped his head so birdlike I had to laugh. 

“What? I’m thinking.” 

Our food arrived, carried by four different servers, and they slid a second table up to ours to accommodate all the food. 

“Buon appetito!” Our main server shrilled before they left us to the feast.

“I went overboard.” Brighton laughed, his eyes flitted over all the plates.

“Not in the least. Like I said, we’ll take back the leftovers.” 

“I don’t know where to start.” 

“Something with protein in it.” I winked before pulling the chicken cacciatore in front of me. He followed suit.

We ate in silence for a few mouthfuls, but Brighton was never quiet for long and I loved how his curious mind worked. 

Brighton shoveled in a bite. “Mom and Dad take vacations once a year.” He swallowed after talking with his mouth full because his table manners were atrocious. Not that it bothered me any. “Never went with them.” 

“Where’d they leave you?”

Another forkful of food. “With Sev until I was like fifteen, then they trusted me to stay in the old trailer alone. But at the other circus.” He settled his fork on this plate. “No one really had space to take me, so they left me alone in our trailer. That was scary for a kid. And I didn’t wanna use the propane stove or anything because I was afraid of burning everything down. One year, they forgot to go grocery shopping before they left. I had to beg the circus owner for food after I ate everything we had.”

Fuck. Damn it. I loved Ray and Sally, but to hear how they treated Brighton really pissed me off. I seriously considered cutting ties with them, because he didn’t deserve any of that. How could I not see? Fuck. Because Brighton always had a damned smile on his face when I was around. Was it an act? 

“But… okay, where the hell were you all the times I came to visit? They told me you were at circus camp.” My hands tightened around the fork. “Were you really hidden away somewhere?” 

Brighton shook his head, the saddest look on his face. “There’s not really a circus camp. Kids just tour with their family. But I really was at gymnastics camp or aerial camp or dance camp, ballet camp. You name it, they sent me over the summers and as often as they could. Just never corresponded with their vacations.”

“Sorry, Bri.” 

“It’s fine. I’m fine.” He smiled with a mouthful of food, and I had to laugh. He never stayed down for long. “Plus, they gave me the trailer.”

“A trailer isn’t a consolation prize for basically treating you like a roommate. And they treated you shitty.”

“They could have taken the trailer with them, then I’d have to room with someone else. So I’m really grateful to have my own space. And they aren’t always horrible. I’ve just been in my feels. They could have kicked me out when I turned eighteen, instead they let me stay.”

I settled back in my seat. “Tell me a happy memory of your parents.”

A wide smile spread over Brighton’s face, and he took another bite. When he opened his mouth to talk, I held up a hand. 

“Bri, chew and swallow, then talk.” 

He slammed his hand over his mouth and chewed quickly, then swallowed. “Sorry. I get so excited I forget.”

“I know. And I think it’s cute.” But I had heard a few of the group complain about the behavior. 

After another few bites, he started his story. “My twelfth birthday. We’d just joined the Black Cat Circus, and it was the first year my parents weren’t struggling. The other circus never paid on time, and I think that’s part of what stressed them out. Plus, I got paid too, and they had to deal with that. Another reason they weren’t entirely horrible. They put all of my earnings in an interest bearing account. They gave me the information when I turned eighteen, but I haven’t really looked at it. Sev pays us well.”

“You’re a little sidetracked, sweet birdy.” I savored my next bite. The meal was delicious. And I had the best company.

“Sorry. Right. I hadn’t realized they noticed how much I loved to read. If I wasn’t training, my nose was in a book with my hand in Peanut’s fur.” 

Gods, that painted such an adorable image. 

“That year they bought me so many new books. Like twenty of them. A few of them were even special editions with the prettiest covers. I still have them all. They got me every genre, I think. Then—” He bounced in his seat as if he had too much energy. “They also got me premium colored pencils and the best sketchpad. Oh! Another story. I was…” He tapped the table, thinking. “Fourteen, I think? They let me take surfing lessons with them.” 

“I can just imagine.” 

“It was so fun, but I like flying over the ocean more than being in it.”

“What’s it like to fly?” I’d been curious.

Brighton switched to a different entrée and hummed into a few bites before answering. “Amazing.”

“I figured.” I followed his lead and grabbed a different dish. “But I want details.”

“It’s like wind rustling in your hair. And my body knows I have to pump my wings or glide to stay in the air. I don’t have to think much. It’s hard to describe.” He tipped his head again. “Can you shift at all?” 

“Unfortunately, no, but I do have some fun magic.”

“Speaking of which.” Brighton looked around, then leaned in and motioned for me to do the same. “Why can’t I sense your magic? Sev taught me how, but—”

“Watch everyone’s reactions.” My energy and magic were damn near invisible unless you knew you were looking at a descendant of a god. I closed my eyes and concentrated, pulling my magic in, drawing it close to my skin. I knew when it was getting closer because a wave of gasps went around the restaurant until Brighton’s was the last I heard. 

“Wow! Oh wow! It was like I got all shivery and hot at the same time. Then a spark of electricity once it pulled off me.” 

I opened my eyes to him, stroking the air around me. 

“It’s so intense. Like a pretty aurora borealis with glitter mixed in. I can see it now.” Another tip of his head. “You can’t sense magic, can you?”

“Not really, no. Otherwise, I’d have known I’d fallen in with a family of ravens. But also it’s why I keep my trap shut about myself. My energy’s usually too wide for most people to pick out what I am. I just appear normal.”

“Right. It’s so weird.” His elegant hand waved through my aura again. “What else can you do?” 

For dramatic effect, I let a rumble of thunder roll around the restaurant. It startled a few of the patrons, but ended before anyone really knew what had happened. 

“So cool!” Brighton scrunched his brows. “That was you at the airport! And the laundromat! The club! And in bed! I thought I’d made up the sound.” 

“Guilty. I’m also ridiculously strong. It’s taken a lifetime to perfect even the gentlest of touch.” I skimmed my fingertips over his hand. “There’s so much more, but I think you’d have more fun discovering my magic than it would be to show all my tricks.” I winked before taking another bite of dinner. 

Brighton swallowed like he wanted me to fuck him right there. Which I’d love to, but I didn’t think anyone else would agree.

We finished eating, added another dessert each, then boxed up the leftovers. I’d say the date was a glorious hit.

TWENTY-FOUR

BRIGHTON

I didn’t think I’d ever had a date that made me feel like I mattered. Zander made me feel all swoony. He didn’t put up a fuss when I insisted on sitting next to him in the truck instead of in the passenger seat. He loved driving. I really just wanted to touch him. Not even sexually. I just wanted to be near him.

“So, primal play in the woods.” Zander hooked his finger on the collar of his shirt and pulled. “Paint me your ideal scene.” Streetlamps shined brightly, throwing his face in shadows. 

I swallowed. “I like playing at night. It adds a bit more risk to the scene.”

“You like the extra danger.” 

“Yeah. Gets my adrenaline going.” 

“Go on.” Zander held out his hand, and I took it. 

“I get like a five-minute head start. Oh! You said we could use magic. I could throw illusions to distract you.”

“I love that.” 

I nodded. “That could be really fun.” 

“I’d love to see that sometime. When I’m not about to rail you in the woods. So… How does this all work?” 

“You put your penis in my anus.” 

Zander snorted. “You knew what I meant, brat.” 

I shrugged and snuggled as close as the seat belt would allow. “You fuck me where we land. Against a tree. A rock. Whatever, wherever. Whatever feels natural and fun. It’s about full enjoyment and not holding back or judging yourself about your desires.”

“And you’re not afraid of people hearing us? Or finding us?” 

I nibbled my bottom lip. “I put a perimeter spell in place, so that never happens. My partner never knows, but it protects us both.”

“Smart.” 

“I thought so.”

“So. Let me get this straight. You’ll get a five-minute head start. Throw illusions. I chase you. We fuck.”

“Exactly. And stoplight system for safewords.”

“Sounds great. When would you want to play with me?” Zander wiggled his brows. 

“Tomorrow. After the circus. It’ll be dark and spooky.”

“Sounds perfect, sweet birdy.” 

It really did, and I couldn’t wait.

TWENTY-FIVE

BRIGHTON

I’d been counting down the hours since I woke. Zander was going to make my primal play dreams come true. Not that I had expected things to be perfect. That’d be too much pressure on either of us. 

Backstage bustled. I slicked glitter gel in my hair. For tonight’s performance, I wore bright blue with sequins. Mimi, our makeup artist, painted my face and added more glitter to my already sparkling cheeks. I liked a bit of eye makeup, but everything else I could leave. Soft music played in the background. 

We’d already started the second act, and I was waiting my turn, practicing in my head. I tried not to do the same thing over and over. Repetition like the same routine day in and day out bored me. Sev let me change things every night if I wanted. I just had to tell him what I was doing so he could adjust his introduction for me. I liked the shooting star routine, but tonight I was doing what I called my Sleeping Beauty show. It was one of my favorites. I had six minutes to wow the crowd, and this one usually did it in spades.

I watched Sev from backstage. The lights switched to spotlight him, leaving everything else in absolute darkness so I could make it to my mark. I tiptoed out as he did my introduction. 

The lyra hung low, and I sat in a cradle position, waiting for Sev to finish his speech. As soon as he did, the spotlight snapped off of him and dimmed as it fell on me. My music started, the lyra rose, and I concentrated on making a pretty shape with my body. Toes pointed, back arched, arms elegant. I was “asleep”.

The music adjusted, and I started “waking”. Body stretching. Arms wide, I “yawned”. I swept my arm up, letting an illusion fall, turning my costume pink. I stood, performing skills at a speed that made the audience gasp. The lyra lowered again, so I could push it into a wide spin over the audience. 

This was my favorite, seeing everyone’s reactions up close. I soaked in the excitement of the kids watching, the wonder of the adults. Everyone seemed to enjoy my show. My muscle memory did all the work. My body moved in sync with the music. Sliding easily from one skill to the next. I swung like a pendulum across the entire stage as I defied gravity to maneuver into precarious positions. I hoped someone was recording. Every time I performed, I sailed into a meditative state. This time was no exception. 

Too soon, the music finished. Now for the end. A Penny Drop. I hung by my legs, swung back and forth, then released my legs and threw my arms out at the dismount. The crowd cheered.

“What a beautiful performance!” Sev bellowed out.

I bowed to the crowd, taking in every sound, and hurried off for Drake to close out the show. 

The soft fur of Peanut brushed against my legs. 

“Looks like Peanut enjoyed the show, too.” Zander’s voice came behind me.

I turned to face Zander. “You’re supposed to be selling popcorn, mister.” 

“David said I could come watch since you were doing a new routine, plus I brought popcorn.” He held out what looked to be a clear trash bag full of popcorn. We sold it like that for gag gifts. Coal grabbed the bag and started munching. 

I launched myself at Zander.

“Get a room, you two,” Drake joked before he stepped through the flap. 

“Not in the cards tonight,” Zander said. 

Backstage transformed into a hangout, where we all talked about our acts and what we could improve as we waited for Drake to wrap up the show.

Sev still didn’t want me to join in the meet and greet, so I followed Zander back to his popcorn stand to help with the cleanup. David didn’t seem to mind the extra help. 

Once we’d finished our tasks, and David left, Zander wrapped his arms around me from behind and pulled me close. “You were magnificent, just so you know.” 

“I know.” 

“Cocky.” Zander snorted in my hair. “You still wanna play tonight?” 

Leaning into him, I whispered, “I’m so keyed up from the performance I think playing will be even more fun.”

Zander growled and nipped at my ear. We headed to the trailer. I didn’t want to destroy my costume and Zander wanted to change out of jeans. All in all it was only a little after midnight when we set off for the woods.

“Your heart’s going a mile a minute, sweet birdy.” 

“I’m so excited I could crawl out of my skin.” 

He pulled me to his side. We were close to the woods now. My heart pounded as we stepped to the edge. I dropped the spell bag that set the perimeter. A light shot out, zooming to circle the woods. We stepped across before the spell could create a bubble.

“Five minutes,” Zander growled out.

I ran, crashing through the brush, not caring if I made noise or not because in the beginning it didn’t matter. We’d agreed on no shifting, since it’d be cheating if I could get away so easily. I happily agreed. 

Tree branches whipped by while leaves flopped in my face. I could run fast, so I went as far as I could before I started throwing out illusions. Images and shadows of me moving and hiding. They looked like exact replicas, which I was quite proud of. Seven had given me an easy visualization that worked well once I got the hang of it. I could imprint the magic in my mind and think of my designated symbol—a raven feather—to get what I wanted. And there, fake Brighton was in all my glory. 

I stopped to listen for Zander. Thunder rumbled around me. I couldn’t stop smiling if I tried. Wind howled right in my ear, turning into a scream. I almost jumped when a rabbit hopped from behind a tree. Zander really had me hyped up. 

Thunder rattled the treetops, and I had to wonder if a real storm was rolling through. But I couldn’t dwell. My instincts told me I needed to run. The wind chased me to the next clearing. I spun, trying to get my bearings. Where the hell was I? I usually had a decent sense of direction… being a bird shifter and all. But it didn’t matter where I went. 

Keep running. 

Rain pelted hard on my skin. Was this Zander too? I held up my hands to collect the rainwater. But a louder clap of thunder sent me running again. Lightning lit the woods, and I stumbled on a tree root. 

“Come out, little birdy.” Zander’s voice wasn’t his own. It caused the hair on the back of my neck to stand. And of course my cock to thicken between my legs.

I scrambled to my feet and pushed on. 

“I smell you, pretty birdy.” Zander’s voice was all around me, loud. So loud. “You smell like—” His hand was on my throat, slamming me against a tree. “Prey,” he purred out the word before licking my cheek. 

I struggled, kicking to get away. His hold tightened, not enough to cut off my air, but enough to make me harder despite the twinge of fear. I grabbed his arm and bit down. 

Zander hissed when he released me. Upon dropping, I ran again, followed by Zander’s predatory laugh.

TWENTY-SIX

ZANDER

Something about watching Brighton run from me felt both wrong and right. I wanted to toy with him until he was close to exhaustion, then fuck him into the ground. He’d said he’d wanted as much, and I aimed to please. I stalked behind him, taking my time, letting him throw his illusions my way. 

The fake trees were clever distractions. I opened my mouth and let out another boom of thunder. Spreading my magic through the woods meant I could feel wherever Brighton was. He didn’t know the extent of my magic, which made the game more fun. I howled out as if I were a wolf, mimicking the sound exactly. 

I could feel Brighton shiver. Heard his heart pound. Scented his arousal. He was positively ready to be fucked. But I wasn’t ready to slow down the hunt just yet. 

“Little birdy. I’m hungry. Won’t you feed me something yummy?” More thunder and harsh wind. 

He’d thrown out another few fake trees, but I knew which one he squatted behind and snuck up slowly. “Caught you.” I yanked him from his feet and dragged him kicking and screaming to a stone slab. It looked like some kind of sacrificial altar, and I was going to use it to my full advantage. I pressed his cheek to the stone as I yanked off his shorts. Because of course he wore his tiny shorts. 

He struggled against me and it only made me harder. I pressed my cock against him. “Feel how hot you make me? I’ll make you wail, little one.” 

Fuck, I wanted to get inside him. Finally, the shorts slid to his knees, and I pushed them all the way to his ankles. I spit on his hole as he struggled beneath the hand holding him to the stone. 

“Such a pretty little prize you are. You’ll be so tight, won’t you?” 

Brighton screamed. The sound was so unnatural, magical and I staggered backward, letting him go. 

 My heart pounded. For a second I thought I went too far, but Bri looked over his shoulder and winked before he took off, tripping on his shorts before he yanked them off to run.

I laughed at the thought of him running through the woods wearing only a shirt and hard as stone. The ringing in my ears let off and I focused on my magic again. He hadn’t gotten very far. Only a few trees down. 

“I’ll find you, little birdy, and I’ll fuck you so hard you forget your own name.” I spoke low with a rumble, knowing he’d hear. 

Brighton breathed heavily. I trusted him to safeword if he needed to, so I kept going, enjoying every second. 

I stalked him silently as he moved from tree to tree until he was against a particularly thick one. That was the one I wanted. I lashed out, grabbing his hands and holding him against the tree with his back to the bark. He struggled, but kept his mouth shut this time. 

“Naughty boys don’t get rewards.” I smacked his thigh. 

The sound Brighton made started as a cry, but turned into a moan. I turned him to face the tree, keeping him pinned by his hands. I smacked his ass again and again, his bottom bounced with each hit. Every few swats I rubbed, then smacked. Brighton whimpered beneath me and I couldn’t get enough of the sound. So pliant under my touch. Again I spit on his hole, this time I pressed a finger in. Slowly. 

Fuck, he’d lubed himself before we left the trailer. That meant I could be even rougher if I wanted. 

I took his cock in hand and was rewarded with another soft moan. I just wanted to distract him for a moment. I released and smacked his ass, his thighs, his calves. Until he was beautifully red all over and whimpering. His back arched, begging for more. For my cock. 

He writhed. “Please,” he whispered. 

I sank into his heat in one thrust and he cried out. His inner muscles clinched me as he renewed his efforts to get away. But I couldn’t let him. I pounded into him hard and fast, just like he asked for. I clutched his throat. Tears streamed down his face to coat my hand. Fuck, he was beautiful like this. So open to the experience. Begging for more.

I cursed when I came sooner than I’d wanted. I released him and dropped to my knees to suck his cock, but he batted me away. “More, Zander.” He pushed me to my back and straddled me. My cock rallied. Gripping his hips, I thrusted to meet him. Pure bliss washed over his face. Soft whimpers and moans filled my head. Gods, Brighton was a vision.

Brighton’s cum hit me in the chin, my lips. He cried out, and I chased my orgasm, filling him again. He flopped off me, panting. But the look in his eye told me he wasn’t done. Neither was I.

TWENTY-SEVEN

BRIGHTON

We wrestled and played and fucked until dawn. My muscles ached in a good way. If I thought our time in the club was the best night of my life, I was dead wrong. No one’s ever played with me so thoroughly. Like they knew my soul.

I laid curled in Zander’s arms on the leaf riddled ground. Dirt in places it probably shouldn’t be. Birds flittered above. Despite the early morning hour, the air still held heat. 

Both our stomachs rumbled. We had plenty of leftovers from our date, but I wanted to stay here just a little longer.

Zander’s hand trailed down my back, making me shiver. Wouldn’t take either of us long to recover, thank goodness, because we had a show tonight. 

“How’s my sweet birdy doing?” Zander’s voice was wrecked from all the growling and yelling. 

“Amazing.” My voice came out dreamy. “You’re a master.” I pressed kisses to his naked chest.

He lifted my chin and stared into my eyes. “I didn’t go too far?”

“Nuh-uh. You did great.” It felt like heat dumped over me. What if he didn’t enjoy himself? “Did you have fun?” 

He peppered my head with kisses. “I had no idea how much fun I’d have tapping into my god traits chasing you down. You were… fuck. We’ll have to make it even better next time.”

My cock gave a valiant twitch at the thought.

“But now.” Zander pushed to his elbows. “I think I have a twig betwixt my cheeks. How about we get back to the trailer, hose off, and sleep. I’m sure Peanut’s missing his cuddle buddy.” 

I pushed to my feet and held my hand out to help Zander up. Instead of standing, he pulled me right back onto him and smothered me in kisses. 

“You’re really okay, Bri?” 

I nodded into his chest. “Really, really.” 

“Did you… did you just drop another Shrek reference?” 

“Maybe? It’s a good movie.”

“Were you even alive when it came out?”

I burst out laughing. “A couple months old? I may or may not have seen it recently.” 

“For the first time?” 

“Yeah. I liked it. It was silly.” 

“That’s it. I’m gonna have to show you the ropes. TV. Movies. Documentaries. Reality shows. Competition shows. The works.”

“I love documentaries.” 

Zander snorted. “Of course you do. And I love that.” He flipped us so he was on top of me. “We should do our walk of shame now.” He lifted me so easily to my feet.

“I’m not ashamed.” I dug a few twigs from Zander’s hair before ruffling it.

“Neither am I.” 

“Good.” I tugged him down to plant a quick kiss to his lips.

It took us a bit of time to find all of my clothes. I may have thrown them around while trying to get naked. Gods, we had such a sexy night. Sweat drenched, we had to stink.

Dressed, and walking hand in hand, we made our way from the woods.

Drake leaned against his trailer, arms crossed. Smug look on his face. “What’d you two get up to last night? Looks like you lost whatever it was.” 

“Or maybe we won,” I said.

“Definitely won,” Zander answered. 

Drake pushed away from his trailer. My heart fluttered violently in my chest as he edged closer. “Sev was looking for you earlier. Told him I saw you two run off to the woods last night. He mumbled something about not wanting to know what our baby bird was getting up to. Piqued my interest.” 

“Sev was looking for me?” I scrubbed a hand through my hair, trying to get out some of the dirt.

“Uh huh.” Drake’s eyes wandered over the two of us. “Looked real anxious, too.” 

“Shit. Did he tell you what it was about?”

The door swung open and Eli bounded out with his camera clutched to his chest. “Brighton. Zander.” Eli seemed unphased by our appearance. Probably a journalist thing. “What are you up to, Drake?”

“Nothing, just harassing these two for having sex in the woods. Maybe we should try it sometime.” 

Eli turned bright red. With his strawberry blond hair, he looked comical. 

I shook my head. “That wasn’t all we did. Lots of chasing involved.”

Drake quirked his brow. “Come again?”

Eli rolled his eyes and continued down the steps of their camper. “Bri, I got some good shots of last night’s performance. Wanna see?”

“Absolut—” I stopped myself before taking his camera. “Uhm, maybe later? I’m filthy. Need to at least wash my hands before I touch the equipment.” 

That earned me a little snort from everyone.

Secretly, I hoped the shots weren’t focused on my butt or dick. As much as I joked around with everyone about those first shots he took of me, I still got embarrassed thinking about it.

“Let me know when you’re ready. I’m off to get candids from everyone.” 

“Have fun,” Zander said. 

Eli tipped his head, and the pair wandered off. 

Zander cupped my face and rubbed my cheeks with his thumbs. “You really are filthy.” The kiss to my nose was so sweet. 

No one else stopped us on the way to my trailer. We dusted ourselves off the best we could before entering. Then Zander pulled my clothes off me as I de-clothed him in turn. Our kisses turned frantic. But this time, Zander didn’t want to join me in the shower. 

It took both of us to wash off the night. Zander stood outside the shower and used the hose to rinse me off as I scrubbed and scrubbed, finding new scratches and bruises along the way. Crop tops probably weren’t the best attire for the day. Not unless I wanted funny looks. Zander’s finger prints had bruised me good. The bottom of the shower was muddy by the time we finished. I rinsed it down, and we followed the same process for Zander with me hosing him down as I stood naked outside the shower. He couldn’t keep his eyes off me and as soon as we were finished, he pounced. Holding me so close, I almost couldn’t breathe. My hand slid down his chest. So ready for more. 

Someone knocked on the door. “Bri? You home yet?” Sev. 

I threw my head back and laughed. “Give me a minute. Getting dressed.” 

“No, that’s fine. Just come find me when you’re ready. Carry on.” 

“Just getting out of the shower.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll wait.” 

Zander scrubbed a towel over me as I raided my closet and threw on something comfy to sleep in. 

Sev stood looking a little frazzled at my door with dark circles under his eyes. Not one of his purple hairs was out of place, and his suit was impeccably clean. I stepped down to join him outside. 

“What can I do for you, Sev?” Please tell me the perimeter spell worked and the whole circus didn’t hear us all night.

His aqua eyes grew wide. Probably concerned for the bruises along my arms. Or legs. The nibble marks on my neck. Hickies at my shoulder.

“What the stars happened, Bri?” 

“All you need to know is I had the time of my life and everything was fully consensual.” 

“Okay, but you’ll need a different costume or a load of makeup to cover it all.” Sev waved along my body.

“Should be fine after a nap. But if anything’s still visible at showtime, I’ll do something about it.”

“Speaking of showtime, I wanted to talk to you about something.” 

My stomach tumbled.

Sev held up a hand. “Sorry, didn’t mean to worry you. It’s something good.” 

I let out a breath. 

He waved for me to follow him to where we had a few picnic tables scattered around for extra seating.

“I’ve been thinking about expanding a few of our acts until we get more performers. I wanted to offer you a second act. Do you think that’d be doable?”

My head spun. I loved the thought of expanding the circus. But… “We have a whole aerial team, and me. Wouldn’t it be weird to have a third aerial act?” 

“It’ll just be temporary until we can expand our offerings. Silks are a different feel, you could—”

“No.” My heart pounded so hard I thought I’d throw up. I pushed to my feet, only to stagger back into a solid body I knew well.

“Bri?” Zander’s voice calmed me. 

I couldn’t read Sev. Puzzled could be one way to describe the look on his face. Or hurt. I’d never told him no before. But I didn’t think I could do silks.

“Sweet birdy, what’s wrong?” 

“I can’t.”

“Can’t what?” Zander turned me to face him. 

Heat flared through my face. This was such a childish reaction. I still practiced silks, cautiously. I could do a silk, hammock, or strap routine as flawlessly as on lyra, but every time I was in the fabric I still panicked. Still remembered the way the silk had wrapped around my neck. I just pushed through the fear when I practiced, but I couldn’t imagine doing that for every performance. It’d burn me out.

“I asked him for a silk routine and—”

“I freaked out.” I shook my head and let go of Zander to stand at the picnic table. “I’m honored you want me to do a second act and I’m willing and able and excited about the prospect. But not silks, hammock, or straps, double or single. I can’t.” I fidgeted with the edge of the table and shared my experience with the past circus.

Sev’s eyes grew wider and wider as I continued, spilling everything. I’d never told anyone other than Zander and Peanut. My insides felt raw and numb at the same time. I’d held it in for so long I felt empty. I no longer had to hide the truth. Hide everything that had happened. Hide my parents’ treatment. I couldn’t keep anything contained and spilled more about Jason and how scared I still was, even though I hadn’t heard from him since my fall. A sniffle escaped. I blinked and tears streamed down my face. I hated all the crying. 

Sev opened his arms, and I launched myself at him.

“I’m sorry, Sev. I can’t do silks. Brings up too many bad memories.”

“I understand. No need to be sorry.” He smoothed his hand down my back. 

I don’t know how long we stayed like that. Zander watched on. Thankfully, he didn’t growl. I couldn’t handle it if he growled at Sev. 

Finally, I pulled back, all cried out. 

Sev looked up at Zander. “Take care of him. He’s precious to me.” Sev gave me another squeeze. “Whatever you wanna do, Bri, that’s the act. Even if you want to do two lyra routines, that’s fine. We’ll rearrange things for next week. Is that enough time?”

I nodded. “Plenty. I always have several ideas in my back pocket.”

“Good. Are you okay?” 

“I need sleep and I’ll be just fine.”

“Tell me if that changes.” Sev’s shoulders dropped. “I feel like I failed you.”

“No! No.” Not even close. My heart ached. “Without you…” More tears sprang to my eyes. “Without you, I don’t think I’d have had a future. I wouldn’t have friends that became my family. I’d probably have left the other circus as soon as I could and ended up on the streets or dead. You’re the best there ever was.” 

We hugged again, I didn’t let go until he pulled back. I wasn’t sure Sev got many hugs. Or much touch. I researched being touch starved not too long ago. For myself, because I’d been seeking partners when I needed to be touched. Unfortunately, as much as I loved Peanut, there was just something about human touch that worked better than kitty cuddles. 

Now I had Zander and all the touch I could ever desire. Zander’s warm hand squeezed my shoulder.

“Run along.” Sev waved us away, but I couldn’t help one last hug. 

“I love you, Sev. Tell us if you need anything, okay?”

He gave me a lopsided smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

“Promise me,” I begged. “I worry about you.” 

“I’m the one that’s supposed to worry about all of you.”

“Nah,” Zander said. “You’re allowed to let others worry about you for a change.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Sev pushed to his feet, tipped his head, and left. 

“Come on sweet birdy, let’s go take a nap before breakfast.” Zander kissed the top of my head and directed me home. Once I got settled into bed, Peanut popped out of nowhere and hopped in my arms to snuggle close. I was out before I could count to five.

TWENTY-EIGHT

ZANDER

Despite Brighton acting cheerful, I could tell there was the underlying worry of Jason that threatened to burst our happy little bubble. Just the thought of the guy simmered under the surface, threatening to ruin everything. I wanted to punch him for scaring Brighton so much. 

It was finally Saturday, and we decided that after the show we were going to the carnival, just the two of us. It ran till midnight, so we’d have a good amount of time to play. Maybe even… play. Wink wink, nudge nudge. 

Bzzzz Bzzzz Bzzzz

Brighton groaned as he grabbed his phone. “Parentals. Are you camera ready?” He gave me the biggest, fakest smile, and we both laughed before settling on the edge of the bed. 

“Hey,” we answered together.

My insides churned because we’d decided it was time to tell Ray and Sally we were dating.

“Zannn Derrr!” Ray singsonged my name. “How are you? What are you up to?” He tilted his head, probably to look at the circus logo on my shirt. “Already buying the swag or did you get sucked into the life?”

I smoothed my hand through my hair, trying to calm myself. “So, Ray, Sally, we have something to tell you.” 

“Oh?” Ray and Sally said in unison.

“Bri and I are dating.” 

Next to me, Brighton flushed red.

“You… you can’t date Brighton. He’s… you’re. You’re our age. Isn’t that a little inappropriate?” Sally flustered out.

Brighton snorted. “We’re both consenting adults. And it’s not like you cared who I fucked before.” 

And the entire cat’s out of the bag now. I figured we’d at least give them a week to get used to the idea first. But Brighton decided to be a brat. That was fine. He’d been under stress.

I squeezed Brighton’s hand and brought it to my lips. 

Ray and Sally sat in stunned silence. 

“Say something,” I said. Even though I was furious with the treatment they gave Brighton growing up, they were still my friends. At least I hoped they were by the end of the conversation, but only if Brighton was happy with their answers.

Ray sighed. “Are you happy, Bri?” 

“The happiest.” 

“You, Zee?” 

“The same.” 

Ray looked at Sally, then back at the phone camera. “Then it’s only right you have our blessing. The two people we love the most deserve to be happy. If you’re happy together, then all the better.” 

Beside me, Brighton straightened. “Love? You treated me like a roommate or an unwanted house guest my whole life. I’m your child, you were supposed to—” 

I pulled him closer to my side and kissed the top of his head. He clung to me, with his eyes shut, no doubt willing himself not to cry.

“You’d been so independent, sweetie. We didn’t want to smother you,” Sally said.

“So you hardly showed me any affection at all. That totally makes sense.”

Ray sighed again. Sally looked on the verge of tears. I almost felt bad, but Brighton needed to hear their response. 

Ray fiddled with something out of view. “We had no idea how to raise a kid, Bri. You thrived with direction and instructions, so we taught you everything we knew and hired the best trainers and sent you to the best camps. We made sure you were as stimulated as possible. Physically and mentally. You damn near read the entire library. When you quit school, we were worried, but realized you were advanced compared to the classes you were in. You were so bored. And you’re so damned smart. We could practically see your brain working. You figured things out, sometimes before we could. Gods, Bri. We’re proud of you. I guess we’re shit at showing you that.”

Sally nodded. “We’ll do better.”

“I’d start,” I said. “By asking Bri how he’s doing instead of asking about me or the circus or any number of things.” 

Brighton sniffled. 

Ray scratched the back of his head. “Uhm, so… whatcha drawing lately?” 

“Nothing lately,” Brighton mumbled. “Too distracted.”

I snorted and kissed the top of his head. Indeed, we’d been distracted.

Brighton bounced next to me and weaved his fingers with mine. “We have a little more news to share. It’s gonna blow your mind.” 

“Oh?” Ray and Sally tipped their heads, and I didn’t know how the hell I missed how birdlike their actions were at times. 

I took a deep breath, time to rip off the decades-long bandaid. “I’m a descendant of Odin, by way of Thor.” 

Ray and Sally blinked back at me. 

“What?” Ray shifted in his seat.

“I’m kind of. Sort of. Maybe. A bit of a god.” Fuck, what the hell was that?

“What does that even mean, Zee?”

“Means,” Bri said. “He’s magic. And he knows we’re raven shifters. Isn’t it so amazing? I mean, the way he found out wasn’t amazing. That was scary, but he knows.” 

Ray and Sally sat in silence. I’d heard sometimes other paranormals reacted negatively to finding out someone was also paranormal. I hoped that didn’t happen with us.

“Say something,” Brighton said.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Ray answered. “Everything makes sense now.” 

“That’s what I said!” I replied, relieved. Angry at myself for keeping my secret a secret all these years.

Sally simply nodded. “There’s always been this weird pull to be around you. Now we know why.” Her face turned serious. “You aren’t influencing our Brighton, are you?”

“Fuck no. I told him not a chance at the beginning. He pursued me.” And I was so glad he did.

“This is so wild,” Ray said. “My best friend’s a god! Hot damn.” 

“I am. But… enough about me. We can talk about it later.” I wanted them to focus on Brighton. “Seven asked Bri to do a second aerial act. Seven’s gonna expand the circus, and he wants to use a few existing acts to get timing right.” 

Ray bounced in his seat. “Oh! What are you planning on doing?”

Brighton mirrored his father. “I’m thinking aerial spiral. I have all sorts of ideas.”

Sally grinned. “You always have liked anything you can spin on.”

“You do know me.” 

“I think so, sweetie,” Sally said.

“But we obviously failed to show that. Skies, Bri.” Ray grabbed Sally’s hand. “We’re sorry. We can come home and we’ll—”

“No. You’re fine. You wanted a new adventure.” Brighton looked up at me with such affection. “I think I get it now. Don’t worry about me. I’m good. So good.” 

We chatted about Brighton’s scare from the lyra, Jason’s stalking—minus the whole primal play aspect Bri didn’t want them to know, and I respected that wish—and their trip so far. They’d gone up to Oregon and loved the scenery. Who went on vacation for the view? Not me. I wanted the adventure of it all. We talked for hours and Brighton lightened so much. I swear it was like a whole weight lifted off him. When we ended the call, he settled into my lap, just leaning on me. 

“Thank you, Zee.”

“That was all you, sweet birdy. I’m glad you spoke up.” I was glad to find out my friends weren’t complete douchebags towards their kid. Just didn’t know how to show how much they cared. 

The whole family was a bit emotionally immature, but I’ve known that for years. Ray and Sally were playful, much like Brighton. But while he took everything seriously, they never did. 

Brighton hopped off my lap and pulled me to my feet.

“How did you meet my parents? I’ve heard dad’s version of the story.”

“I’ll tell you on the way to the big top.” 

We had twenty minutes before I had to be slinging popcorn. I actually loved it. Genuinely loved it. I got to interact with people. They told me their stories. I told them a few of mine. I’d taken a few shifts at the carnival during the day. Not too many. Brighton got pouty, and it was the cutest damn thing. 

I took his hand in mine once we made it outside. “The story goes like this. First day of first grade and I sat all alone in the back of the classroom.” I made a sad face to make him giggle again. “So lonely. And in hopped this guy an hour after school started. Literally hopped. And he flapped his arms like he had wings.” I snorted, thinking about it now. Ray’s hair flopped in his eyes and he swiped at them. “The teacher told him to knock it off and pointed to the empty seat beside me. Ray just kept doing it all the way to the chair. Our eyes locked. Instant friends. Your mom came around in high school and he was obsessed.”

Brighton snorted. “He said you were the one coming into the classroom late acting like a weirdo.”

“Sure. Sure.” I tickled his sides until he squirmed away laughing. “But can you ever see me doing that?” I demonstrated. Hopping like I remembered Ray doing and flapping my arms like wings.

“Oh my gods, Zee.” Brighton laughed so hard he damn near stumbled over his own feet. I caught him before he could fall and planted a kiss on his lips.

The kiss deepened, and he sighed, becoming more pliant in my hold.

“I love you, Brighton.” 

He sucked in a breath. “Zander.” He nuzzled to my chest. “I love you, too,” his voice was so vulnerable. I wanted to tuck him away, keep him to myself, and keep him safe from everything. But we had a show to put on.

TWENTY-NINE

BRIGHTON

At the end of every Saturday performance, we had a fireworks show. When I was a kid, I insisted on watching it every time. Every week the show had always been different. I hadn’t watched for several months, choosing to hook up or sleep instead. Now I had Zander to share everything with.

I grabbed his hand. “The rooftop of the trailer is the best place to watch from.” 

“Not the Ferris wheel?” 

“Everyone wants to watch from the Ferris wheel. And there are obstacles in the way. Just trust me.” I took off and hoped he would chase me. 

The first loud boom shook the air, and I turned back to watch the blue lights shimmer down. “Gotta hurry!” I ran again. We’d have plenty of time. The show lasted at least twenty minutes, usually set to music. I had the station set on my phone for when we got to our destination. 

I climbed up the ladder on the side of the trailer and scooted across the top of the smooth surface. I’d thrown blankets and pillows up there before we left for the circus. Zander laughed at the display as I fiddled with my phone to set the mood. Instrumentals instead of rock music. Pink lights burst above us. 

“See, perfect view.” I leaned back, Zander did the same, scooting close. 

“It really is.” He watched me, not the sky.

“Zee.” I tried to hide my face, but he cupped my cheeks and kissed me. Over and over. The symphony played on from my phone while I moaned into his mouth. 

He pressed his palm to me through my shorty shorts, and I ground against him. “Wait. Wait. We were gonna go to the carnival. And I don’t want to ruin my costume.”

Zander obliged and let me go to catch my breath.

“You could change clothes.” 

“We were supposed to watch the fireworks.” 

He held his arms open, and I snuggled close again. 

“It really is the best spot, Bri. Thank you.” He kissed the top of my head. 

Yellows and blues and reds and oranges burst to the music. The finale always made me smile. All the colors popping at once in a show of chaotic urgency. 

“I’m glad I didn’t miss that.” Zander looked down at me again. “It was beautiful.” 

“You should see the show with the rock music. It’s insane.” I pushed to my elbows. “No one can see us up here. I could blow you for being good and not getting my costume all dirty.” 

“Sweet birdy, you usually come when you suck me off.” 

I snorted because it was true. 

“Let’s get you on the Ferris wheel. Or a carousel. Or swings. Something.”

“I have a permanent pass, but it’s been a while since I’ve ridden the rides.” 

“Then let’s grab that pass and get you spinning again.” 

I had to laugh.

In no time, we were at the carnival. All the bright colors from the rides caught my eyes. The sounds lifted my mood, but the longer Jason hadn’t made a peep, the more anxious I got. It’d been getting harder and harder to enjoy myself not knowing what his next move was going to be.

Zander’s gaze darted up the Ferris wheel, but the line was long. We wandered, eating and chatting about nothing at all. It was bliss. The carousel spun before us and he tugged my hand towards it. It was one of my favorite rides, along with the Scrambler. 

I was gonna settle into one of the benches so we could sit together. But Zander hoisted me up and onto a horse. I clung to the golden pole. Zander slid onto the horse next to me, laughing. 

My bare legs stuck to the horse uncomfortably, but I didn’t care because the way Zander looked at me made any unease fall away. He held out his hand, and I took it. 

The cheesy music played above us as the carousel started its spin. I didn’t care that it moved slower than molasses because Zander was here. Zander who made me feel safe and loved. Who took care of me when I needed it most. My own personal god that worshiped me.

That night we explored each other slowly, not a care in the world. Falling asleep in his arms was quickly becoming my favorite.

THIRTY

BRIGHTON

My knees buckled as I replayed the video. Fear seeped through me as I stared at Jason’s text.

I reached for the bed and missed, grabbing the comforter instead, pulling Peanut down with me. 

He meowed indignantly, but must have seen something in my eyes because he rubbed against me. 

I gripped my phone tight. The video played again. “Jason recorded my shift. What the hell do I do?” With as much time that had passed, I’d thought he missed it.

Zander already left for his job in the concessions. I still had a bit of time before I had to make it backstage. I clung to Peanut. 

“I messed up so bad.” Tears sprung to my eyes. “Shit.” 

Security. I had to tell Farren. He had to know.

I pushed to my feet and ran out the door with Peanut trailing. My heart pounded with fear. It was the worst kind of feeling. I hated it. 

I had to find Farren.

Something hit the back of my head, making me drop.

Peanut hissed and lashed out with his claws. A pained screech came from his little body when Jason kicked him in the ribs.

“Peanut!” I scrambled to him, but then strong hands had me by the throat, pinning me in place. Peanut had to be okay. Had to. But his black form wasn’t moving. “Peanut! Talk to me. Move. Please. Something.” I couldn’t lose him. “Pea—”

A hand wrapped over my mouth, cutting off my words. 

I struggled hard, trying to force Jason off me. I had to get to Peanut. Had to make sure he was okay. Jason pulled my head back. He’d dyed his hair blond and wore a pair of glasses. If Farren and the security team were going by my pictures, they’d have missed him. The most sinister smile graced Jason’s handsome face.

“I can make a lot of money off you. But apparently, video isn’t proof enough. Have to have the real deal.”

No. No. No. Shit. Damn. Fuck! Thank goodness whoever he tried to sell the secret to didn’t believe him. 

Peanut rallied with a kitty moan and a soft meow before launching himself at my captor. Squealing and scratching so I could try to get away. But it was no use. Jason had me too tightly. I couldn’t focus enough to use an illusion. Brain too fogged, too anxious, too terrified. This was nothing like the excitement of primal play. This was a fight for my—and Peanut’s—lives.

Finally, I landed a kick to Jason’s balls that got me released. But only for a few steps before someone slammed into me from behind.

Combat boots came into my blurry vision. My stomach rolled. Jason wasn’t alone. I bucked and struggled, but it only made things worse. Someone threw Peanut away from us, but he came back with a vengeance. The spicy copper scent of blood filled the air, and I didn’t know if it was mine or theirs or Peanut’s. Someone bound me tight. Shoved a gag in my mouth to keep me from crying out when they finally released me and pulled me to my feet.

Jason had two friends with him. Did they all know about me? Or had Jason kept my shifting secret to himself?

THIRTY-ONE

ZANDER

Something wasn’t right. Brighton made it a habit to kiss me before he had to go backstage and he was five minutes late. Brighton was never late. When there was a set time, he was usually so early it was comical. Where the hell—

In his ringmaster costume, Seven clutched his top hat as he ran towards my booth. “Zander, come with me.” 

I pulled off my apron and jumped over the countertop to surprised gasps. David took things in stride as I ran to catch up with Seven. 

“What’s going on?”

“It’s Brighton.”

My heart threatened to stop. “Is he okay?” 

“I… don’t know. I just know something is wrong. I can feel it. I’ve alerted Farren.” 

I followed Seven to the front of the tent, where we met Farren. The three of us charged towards the trailers. We passed the huge purple mess tent. Seven stopped and rose to his full height. He dashed deeper into the lot.

“I can sense him, but I can’t find him.” Seven looked around.

I shook out my hands. “Let me try something.” I was keyed up so I didn’t know if I had the concentration to pull my magic to a smaller space, but I had to try. I could sense Brighton that way when we played in the woods. I hoped I could feel him again.

Drake stepped out of his trailer, Eli followed behind. Drake was usually late for everything. “What’s the rush?”

“Brighton’s missing,” Farren answered. 

“What do you mean, Brighton’s missing?” Coal walked up behind us.

Seven shook his head. “I can’t explain—”

Thunder erupted around us. “I need silence for a few moments, please. I’ll explain later.” But it didn’t matter. With everyone quiet, we all heard the struggle. We ran towards the sound of muffled groans. My heart pounded in my chest. There was no stopping the storm from closing in if I tried. The soft cry was definitely Brighton. I’d recognize the sound anywhere. Lightning crackled close to our destination and my heart nearly stopped.

Rain poured down, pelting the grass so hard it bounced back. I nearly slid on the slick greenery. More lightning. Thunder boomed. I couldn’t control myself. Biting cold wind whipped around us, threatening to bowl us over. 

“What the hell?” Drake said. “Was supposed to be a clear night.”

When we rounded the last trailer, I pulled my gun from my waistband, took off the safety, and aimed at the back of the big guy holding Brighton hostage. Two others crowded around them. “Let Brighton go or you won’t live to breathe your next breath.”

All four people turned to face us. Brighton kept up his struggle, probably not realizing the fight was over. Jason—who had dyed his hair blond and looked almost unrecognizable with the thick black glasses—held Brighton tight around the middle. Ropes bound Brighton, and a rag tied around his mouth gagged him. He moved his head as if trying to work the gag off.

“I said let him go.”

“Not a chance, fucker.”

I leveled the gun right between Jason’s eyes. “Don’t move, Brighton. I got this.” I cocked back the hammer.

Seven’s hand landed on my forearm. “This isn’t how we do things.” 

I kept my gun pointed at Jason. None of my magic could contain these fuckers. “If you can’t negotiate, I’m taking them out. You have two minutes, Seven.” 

I refused to look at the man, but felt heat radiate from him. Anger or magic, I wasn’t sure.

Lightning cracked right above the assholes.

I considered frying these fuckers, but it’d hurt Brighton too. 

Brighton’s eyes darted between me and a black shape across the field. Peanut. Fuck. 

“Come now, folks.” Seven held up his hands and took a step forward. “How about we talk this out like adults and—”

“Fuck you. We’re taking Brighton and—”

I ached to press the trigger. I could barely see through the thick sheet of rain, but I was a damn good shot.

“Damn it, Zander.”

Beside me, Drake and Coal both moved in while I kept my gun trained on the biggest threat. “Shift for me, sweet birdy. Can you do that?”

Brighton shook his head. He’d finally worked the gag off. “They’ll see. Not again.” His voice was wrecked. The sound broke my heart. He loved the circus so much.

Jason laughed. “Sorry, baby doll. I already got you on video. I just need to deliver the goods.” 

“It’s okay.” Seven dropped his hands. “The circus’ll be okay. Shift, baby bird.” 

“Exactly, everything will be okay, Bri. Shift.” Please.

Jason wrapped his fingers around Brighton’s throat and squeezed. Brighton’s eyes grew wide. Thunder crackled louder. Seven grabbed my wrist before I could pull the trigger. 

“I’m sorry,” Brighton struggled out. His clothes and the ropes holding him fell to the ground as he shifted. 

Jason jumped back with a shout. 

“What the fuck!” One of the guys yelled. “What kind of freak is he?”

Brighton flew towards the black shape lying in the field beside us. Jason and I both ran towards him. But thank fuck for Farren. I’d never have thought a gargoyle could move so fast. He grabbed Jason, and by the shriek, I was pretty sure Jason got a dislocated shoulder. Just as fast, Farren grabbed another guy, while Drake held back the last. Coal stalked towards them with Seven.

I didn’t know what the hell happened next, because Brighton had all my focus. Rocking, he held Peanut to his naked chest. “I’m so sorry, Peanut. Sorry. Sorry.” His murmurs came so softly. 

“Bri.” 

“He’s hurt.” Brighton blinked up at me. Rain stuck to his lashes and drenched him through. “They hurt him and it’s my fault.” 

Peanut purred in his arms, though. Nuzzled him with his little kitty head. Poor cat looked like a drowned rat, but I supposed we all did.

“Let me get the two of you home.” 

Brighton blinked, causing tears and rain to stream down his dirt-streaked face. He was so filthy from his ordeal. The rain had a hard time washing the mud away.

I pulled my shirt off. Though it was soaked through, at least it’d keep him covered from prying eyes. He didn’t want to release Peanut, and I didn’t blame him. In the end Peanut stayed under the shirt, cuddled to Brighton’s chest, out of sight.

I kneeled and pulled Brighton into a bridal carry, making sure he and Peanut were safe before I pushed to my feet. Brighton curled in on me, cocooning Peanut in. 

I had no idea what Seven was doing. His eyes glowed. Was he putting those asshats into some kinda trance? They looked high off their asses.

Seven waved a hand. “From this moment on you no longer know or remember Brighton. You never saw him shift. Nothing will ever trigger a memory. He doesn’t exist. You’ve never heard of Black Cat Circus. It doesn’t exist and when it comes to town, you’re oblivious. Pull out your phones and destroy all evidence and memories of Brighton and the circus.” 

All three followed directions as if in a daze. 

“Good. Good. You went out, got drunk, and woke up in a strange field, not knowing what the hell happened.” Seven looked to Farren. “You know what to do.” 

Farren grew. If I thought seven feet tall and damn near as wide as huge, I was wrong. Wings sprung from his back, horns from his head, and a long, snaky devil tail grew from his backside. His clothes tore off him. I didn’t dare look to see if he had a beast between his legs. I was too distracted by the way he manhandled the three guys into his grip. 

Seven handed him what looked to be a cufflink, but I was probably wrong. Farren and the guys poofed out of sight. A gust of wind, not of my own creation pushed back at us. I guess that meant Farren was out.

Seven threaded his fingers through his hair and looked at all of us. “We need to clean up and get the show going.” His eyes darted to the sky, and he lifted his brows. “Mind stopping the storm?” 

“Yeah, sorry ‘bout that. I’ll explain. Later.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. With Brighton in my arms, I didn’t feel so out of control, but it still took longer than it should have to disperse the energy. “I don’t think Brighton should perform tonight.”

Brighton opened his mouth to protest, but Seven agreed. 

“Baby bird, I don’t want you to get hurt after what just happened. We need you to rest. Okay?”

“I’m sorry, Sev.”

“Nothing to be sorry for.” Seven scrubbed his hand over Brighton’s soaked hair. Seven gave me a stern look. “My office after the show.” 

I nodded. The ringmaster needed to know the truth of what I was and what I was capable of.

Drake followed, ruffling Brighton’s hair too. “You’re gonna have to tell us about the epic battle at breakfast tomorrow.” 

“You did well, Bri. I’m glad you’re okay,” Coal said as he fell behind the other two.

Brighton hugged Peanut so tight I had to wiggle his hands free to let the cat breathe. But Peanut didn’t seem to care. He purred and rubbed against Brighton.

Once I got us home, Brighton didn’t want to let Peanut or me go. In the end, he relinquished his hold on the cat and gave him a shower to clean the mud from his fur. Then the two of us showered quickly. 

“Sweet birdy, you did so well.” I kissed his forehead.

I dried Brighton, then myself. Tried not to think of the power Seven had with his ability to alter people’s memories like that. One part of me hoped it lasted forever, so Brighton didn’t have to deal with Jason or those other guys ever again. But another part hoped Seven couldn’t compel someone to forget something entirely so easily. It was terrifying. 

I dressed Brighton in something soft and comfortable before tugging him to bed and holding him close. Peanut hopped up to join us, snuggling right on top of Brighton’s hip. 

Luckily, it didn’t take long for Brighton to fall asleep. His soft breaths tickled my chest hairs. I couldn’t stop trailing my hand down his back, making sure he was still with me, that Jason hadn’t taken him away. I’d been scared before, but the thought of Brighton being ripped away from me had me terrified.

THIRTY-TWO

ZANDER

I wiped the sleep from my eyes and groaned. Brighton snuggled closer, and I didn’t want to leave him. But I had to make good on meeting Seven. I’d been masquerading as a regular guy for my duration at the circus, and I needed to tell him the truth after my display.

Brighton shifted closer to me again when I sat on the edge of the bed. He wrapped his arms around my hips. “Stay, please.” 

I leaned down to kiss his forehead. “I’ll be back as soon as I can, but Seven deserves the truth, don’t you think?”

“I guess,” Brighton mumbled. 

Slowly, he let me go to lay on his back and stare at the ceiling. Peanut took the opportunity to curl up on Brighton’s chest. His tail tickled Brighton’s face, making him laugh. The beautiful sound made my heart light.

I pulled on jeans and a t-shirt, gave Brighton one last look and went on my way. 

The circus finished about twenty minutes ago, and I took my time. Seven probably wasn’t back yet. Sure enough, when I knocked on his door, no answer. 

I pulled out my phone to type up some speaking points. Sometimes I got too heated to think straight and needed the notes. I’d gotten to bullet point four when Seven and Farren both strolled up.

Seven unlocked his trailer and waved me inside. The whole thing dipped when Farren entered. Seven brought up the rear. 

“Have a seat.” 

Farren sat on the couch, and I scooted into the dinette.

“That was you, right?” Seven said. “With the thunder and lightning.”

I scratched the back of my head. Why do I get so damned nervous? “Yeah. So… the thing is. I’m not human.” 

Farren snorted. “That much is obvious. Now.” He scratched his elbow as if he was embarrassed about something. What the hell did he have to be embarrassed about? Not that I was embarrassed about what I was.

Seven’s eyes narrowed on me. “Why can’t I tell? Your aura feels human.” 

“What about now?” I pulled in my magic. As soon as it got to the size of the trailer, they both gasped.

“Stars,” Seven whispered.

“Wow,” came from Farren. “What… are you?” 

“I’m sort of a bit of a Norse God. Descendant of Odin by way of Thor. Weather’s my forte. Well, storms anyway.” 

Seven’s eyes danced along my aura, probably seeing the same colors Brighton had. “Does Brighton know?”

“Him and the cat.” 

Seven laughed. “Everyone goes on about that damned cat and I’ve still never seen it.” 

Farren shook his head. “Peanut was there tonight. You didn’t see him?”

“No… didn’t see any black cats.” Seven chuckled. “I’m half convinced you all made him up.”

Farren wore a smile that seemed so strange to see, but made him more approachable. “Peanut’s always around Brighton or a nice little sunspot. He’s got the softest fur imaginable, and he’s the sweetest thing, with an attitude the size of Texas.” 

Seven smiled. “Sounds like Brighton and the cat were made for each other.”

They really were.

“So, Seven, how did you know Brighton was in trouble?” I hated it wasn’t me that noticed first.

Seven squirmed in his seat. “I have this uncanny knack for knowing when my people are in trouble. But this time, it was different. I got a sharp pain in my ribs, like someone kicked me. The magic felt like it pulsed from Brighton or his trailer. It was so different from how I usually sense my family.”

“How so?” I leaned forward.

“It was almost as if I could feel my mate.” 

“Your mate?” I bit off a growl. He couldn’t have Brighton. Bri was mine.

Seven nodded. “Yeah. But every time I get that feeling, no one’s ever there.” His shoulders slumped.

But what if… “Brighton’s always saying the cat isn’t a cat…” 

Farren snorted while Seven just shook his head.

The energy of the room turned serious. Seven shifted in his seat towards me. “I appreciate you taking care of Brighton.” His shoulders dropped. “I had no idea how he was treated at the other circus or that Sally and Ray were… well, not the best parents. So I’m glad he has you.” 

“You know he looks up to you, right? You’re his idol, at least a role model. You’re a damn rock star in his eyes.” 

Farren nodded. “Brighton’s got stars in his eyes around you, sir.” 

“He used to follow me around like a little puppy when he was a kid. It was the cutest thing. He’d hide when I’d turn around. We made a game of it.” Seven shook his head. “But we’re not really here to discuss Brighton. Are you enjoying your time at Black Cat Circus, Zander?” 

“I’m having a blast.” 

“Must be boring after your time in the Marines, though.” 

“In some regards, yes, of course. But I’m meeting new people every day. I’m loving my job. And Brighton’s here. What else could I want? We’ll move to another town shortly, sating my desire to travel. So far, it’s the ideal retirement for me.” 

Seven held out his hand. “Then I officially welcome you to the Black Cat Circus family.” 

We shook, and it felt like a new chapter was really beginning. 

“That’s not all though,” Farren said. “You handled the situation with Brighton’s stalkers well. Would you want to be a part of the security team?”

“Could I be a fill-in? I don’t think I want to be security permanently, but maybe in a decade or so, who knows. So keep asking.” 

“Fill-in would be ideal.”

“Sounds like we gotta plan,” I said. “I have one question, though. I know Jason wore a disguise, but how’d we miss him? Surely there’s some kind of magic we could have set up to keep that fucker out.” 

Seven sighed. “Magic perimeters or wards are energetically expensive. And complicated. Without Jason’s energy signature, there’s no way we could have screened for just him. We could have targeted all humans, but that’s the bulk of our audience. Magic just wasn’t a feasible answer in this case.”

I nodded, but promised myself I’d find a way to keep Brighton safe at all times, even with the Jason threat taken care of. 

“When you fill-in, there’s one thing to keep in mind,” Seven started. “We don’t do hardcore violence around here.”

“I was only gonna kneecap the guy. I don’t think Brighton would have appreciated it if I killed a guy. Even if he was a douche canoe.” 

Farren chuckled. He was a man of few words.

A smile twitched on Seven’s mouth. “I think you’re right.”

I pushed to my feet. “Thanks for the warm welcome. I really do love it here. Maybe not as much as Brighton.”

“I don’t think anyone loves it here as much as that boy,” Seven said with affection. 

“It’s a good place. You’ve made a loving home for so many that wouldn’t have had one.” 

“Agreed.” Farren stood and clamped a hand to Seven’s shoulder.

We left the ringmaster in silence. Farren didn’t talk much, and we parted ways. Him to his post, me back to Brighton.

THIRTY-THREE

BRIGHTON

I kinda hated myself for being too afraid to shift in front of normies without permission. I could have gotten myself out of the situation had I just done it, but the thought made me freeze. Shifting once in front of normies was enough to get me kidnapped in the first place. 

I shook my head. Shifting in front of Jason, who had an ulterior motive, was what got me kidnapped. There was no way he knew what I was until that point, though. Luck of the draw. 

“I shouldn’t blame myself, should I?” I asked Peanut, who purred happily on my chest.

One blink—no.

“Are you okay?”

Two blinks. And two blinks again before he nuzzled against my neck. I sank my fingers into his soft fur. 

“I was so scared they hurt you.”

Peanut laid so still in the field I thought he’d died. 

Peanut looked at me so intently I swear I could read his mind. It was like he was telling me he really was okay. And I believed him. 

“You’d tell me if I was a dumbass, right?”

Two blinks. I had to laugh. Of course, that’d be his answer. 

I cuddled him closer to my chest. “I love you. One day, I hope to get your story.” 

I sat up and grabbed my e-reader. “Let’s read something to get our minds off the ordeal.”

Peanut moved to perch on my shoulder. I flipped through the options until he batted at my hand. Fantasy with fated mates, Peanut’s favorites. He nudged my chin, and I pressed the cover to start. 

Sometimes I read too fast for him and had to go back and wait, but for the most part we were good reading partners. I only wished we could discuss what we’d read. 

Not too long into chapter three, Zander came back through the door. My breath hitched. Why the hell did my breath hitch? Zander looked so yummy in the jeans. They hugged him just right. 

Peanut swiped at my chin as if to wipe drool from my face. “Wanna go out?” 

Peanut rolled his eyes and made his way to the door where Zander let him out. 

“I’m officially a part of the circus.” 

I bounced from the bed to hug him. “How does it feel?”

“Like home.” Zander pulled me in tighter and smothered me in kisses until I laughed. “You okay, Bri?”

“Funny, I kept asking Peanut that. I think I’m good. No one got hurt, but maybe the one that squealed when Farren got a hold of him.”

“Serves the fucker right.”

I nodded. “Maybe.” I’d never been one for violence, though. 

I pulled Zander down by the collar and kissed him slowly, breathing his air. “And thank you for saving me and Peanut.”

“Do it again in a heartbeat,” he mumbled against my lips before lifting me in the air. 

I wrapped my legs around his waist for the two steps it took to get to my bed. He flung me to the mattress, then crawled on and prowled towards me. Prowled as well as one could on the bed. 

A growl vibrated from him, making me hard. 

“Wanna play, Zee?”

“How do we do this in bed?”

“Just go with your instincts and have fun.”

And then he tackled me. We wrestled, well, my attempt at wrestling. He got me on my back and ripped my shorts from my legs, exposing my cock to his greedy mouth. He took me down and I pulled his hair. Hard. Making him groan. I yanked him from me and shoved on his shoulder to get him to flip. Obviously, I wasn’t strong enough to physically make him do what I wanted, so I was glad when he obliged with a smile. He threw his hands behind his head and grinned. I didn’t need direction. Didn’t want it. I climbed in his lap and ground my ass against his trapped dick. 

“Zee, I’m so hard, won’t you help?” I rubbed my naked cock against his stomach while he stayed trapped in denim.

“Brat.” He grabbed me by the waist and pushed me off him, laughing the whole time.

I humped his leg as he tried to relieve himself of the jeans. My hands wandered his chest, grazed his nipples. Distracted him from his task. “I thought you looked like a Greek god before. I just had the pantheon wrong.”

Zander chuckled. “Way wrong.”

“You fuck as much as Zeus, though.” 

“Or Loki, to stay in my pantheon.” Zander nipped at me. “He gets around.”

“Have you met him?”

“When I was a kid. At least that’s what my parents said.” Zander shrugged. “Dunno. Don’t care.” His mouth found mine while his hand cupped my balls. 

I moaned and arched into him. He knew exactly what to do to make me pliant to his touch. I scratched along his arms, leaving a trail of my mark. 

When his hand left my balls, I made my next move. Pushing him to his back again. Another round of attempted wrestling before he had me pinned on my stomach. His fingers played at my hole. 

“Yes, please,” I begged and wiggled. “Fuck me, Zander.”

“We’re getting there, sweet birdy.” He pumped from one of the many lube bottles around the bed and sunk a finger in. 

I sighed, forgetting the game all together. I just wanted him to plow me into the mattress so I could stop thinking about everything. 

“Shh, I got you, Bri. I won’t let you get hurt on my watch. I can’t promise you’ll never get hurt, but I can promise to be there to help put you back together.” He kissed the back of my head. 

Sobs ripped from my throat and Zander kissed my shoulder as he sank another finger in. 

“I got you, my sweet raven.” He rocked his fingers. Kneaded and kissed down my back as I cried. 

“Thank you, Zander.” 

He flipped me onto my back. “There we go. Gods, you’re gorgeous, Bri. Even when you cry.” He kissed me over and over. I wrapped myself around him like an octopus. 

I was lost to his mouth and cried out when his hand gripped my cock for me to thrust into. 

“You wanna keep going?” Zander asked.

“Yes. Please. Don’t stop. Fuck me, Zander.”

“As you wish.”

“Princess Bride?”

“You’re learning.” Another deep kiss. 

I moaned into his mouth when he breached my hole. 

“So good. Fuck.”

“If you don’t watch it, you’ll have a potty mouth as bad as I do.”

I rolled up onto his lap and wrapped my arms around him, needing to be as close as possible. Zander thrust slowly until I took control and bounced, my cock danced between us. 

“Don’t stop. Almost there.”

Zander fucked me harder until I painted his chest with my cum. I met each thrust as he chased his own orgasm until he came inside me with a guttural moan. I didn’t want to let him go, and clung to him. I had to be a mess with tear tracks down my face. But Zander cupped my cheeks and kissed me deeply. I damn near forgot my name. 

“I got you Bri and I’ll always have you.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “I want to spend forever with you.”

My breath hitched—again. “Are you proposing?” 

Zander shook his head. “I don’t really believe in the whole marriage thing. I don’t need a piece of paper and a government that would probably try to dissect me if they knew what I was to tell me my love is valid.” He smiled and kissed my nose. “Unless you want this to be a proposal, then I take that all back.”

I had to laugh. “I never planned on getting married. Even to you. I feel the same. But ask me in a decade and see how I feel about it then.”

“I said the same thing to Farren when he asked me to join the security team.”

“You’d be so good at it.”

“And give up the popcorn stand? Not a chance.”

THIRTY-FOUR

ZANDER

It was one of the last performances before we jumped again. Heading upstate to Brynn, California. Seven was all excited because there was something called a Goblin Market there. I was pretty intrigued and couldn’t wait to check it out. Maybe get some magical handcuffs or something to play with. 

But before I could think about any of that, I was mesmerized by Brighton in the air. He switched over to an aerial spiral and holy fuck, was that a cool apparatus. It looked like a giant bed spring, almost, and I couldn’t keep my eyes off him.

The lights went out, and the audience went dead quiet. Brighton started shooting illusions of bright, twinkling stars. The spiral spun into a tornado of light, spinning, spinning, spinning. If it didn’t stop soon, I’d be the one sick. Not that Brighton ever got sick. No, he loved spinning. He could have it. It looked beautiful. The stars burst out; the audience gasped to see him hang in the middle of the spring as if he were suspended. 

I held my breath because for whatever reason, Brighton on the aerial spiral made me nervous, even though he had permission to shift if things got dicey. I was never sure if he would during a performance or not. 

He flowed through all the tricks as if he were a beautiful butterfly in the wind. Finally, he dismounted. He’d been practicing sliding down the spiral like one would a banister, and this time he’d succeeded.

He bowed and ran backstage, nearly bowling me over with his hug. “Did you see that? I hadn’t landed that in practice. But I went for it and it worked.” 

“It was impressive.”

“It’s close to impossible, and I did it.” 

A familiar laugh sounded out behind me. We whipped around to find Raymond and Sally standing awkwardly. Ray’s black hair stood out every which way, like Brighton’s did if he didn’t tame it. Sally was put together elegantly, as always. I should have known these two weren’t human, like I had assumed. They still wore youth like they hadn’t aged past twenty. I remembered thinking it was strange, but never questioning it. Brighton probably wouldn’t age much now either. 

“Hey, baby,” Sally said. 

“Hey, kiddo,” Raymond gave an aborted wave.

“Hi,” we said in unison. 

“Seven called to tell us what happened, and we flew right down,” Ray said. “Are you okay?” 

Brighton blinked up at me as if seeking advice and I had none to give. “Your deal, sweet birdy, we can talk or you can tell them to shove it,” I whispered in his ear. 

“I’m okay. I was just a dummy. I should have just shifted.”

“But you didn’t want to expose yourself. It’s okay, baby.” Sally held open her arms, and Brighton, to my surprise, went to her. 

The small family hugged and cried. Finally, Brighton waved for me to join. I happily hugged my family. I adored them all, even if I was still getting used to the way Ray and Sally had treated Brighton, but if he didn’t have a problem with them, then neither could I. 

The four of us went back to the trailer, forgoing the usual after circus gathering. Brighton needed time with his parents. I wasn’t sure if a few hours of talking would fix what was broken, but a start was a start. There were tears, and laughter, and a few raised voices, but everyone remained civil. In the end, I think Brighton got what he needed. 

“We won’t stay the night. This really is your home now, Bri,” Ray said. 

“And there’s one last thing to share,” Sally added. “I’m sure it won’t surprise either of you, but we’re going to continue to travel. And we want to keep talking, if that’s okay with you, baby?”

“That sounds great.” Brighton wrapped his arms around Sally and gave her a long hug. Then followed suit with Raymond. “Thanks for coming in person. You didn’t have to, though.”

“We wanted to see you. And I’m glad we did,” Ray ruffled Brighton’s hair. 

We watched them leave. 

Brighton looked at me. “They didn’t ask you anything.”

“Nope, this was all about you.” I dropped a kiss to his head, and he had the brightest, most beautiful smile on his face. Fuck, I was so glad he was mine forever.

EPILOGUE - 6 MONTHS LATER

BRIGHTON

“I’ve never been on a plane before.” I snapped my seatbelt together and tightened the strap.

My seatmate to my right, a nice granny type, patted my knee. “Are you scared?” In line to board, she’d introduced herself as Gladys. 

She looked like a Gladys, with short blue gray hair in loose curls that tickled her ears. She batted the tendrils away as she mumbled about needing a cut. She was plump, and I didn’t mind letting her have the armrest.

“Nope, I’m used to flying.” I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing at her scrunched pencil thin brows. “I’m a circus performer. I do aerial stunts.”

She eyed me over, as if seeing me for the first time. Zander didn’t want me wearing one of my crop tops—meanie—so I wore a plain fitted hot pink t-shirt. So Zander could see me in a crowd, of course. And a pair of skinny jeans.

“You must be beautiful in the air.”

Zander leaned over me. “You couldn’t imagine.” 

“You have such a sweet son, sir.” Gladys looked from me to Zander and back. 

I thought Zander was gonna blow a gasket. He didn’t like it when someone assumed he was my dad. I started teasing him and calling him Daddy, which… honestly turned us both on and luckily didn’t get weird. That was definitely a kink we’d be exploring sometime. I could be his boy, but I didn’t think age play was in our future.

“Not my father.” I grabbed Zander’s hand and brought it to my lips for a kiss to his knuckles.

“Oh. Oh!” Gladys’s eyes widened. The plump apples of her cheeks flushed. She leaned in. “Good job. He’s a hunk.” 

“That he is,” I stage-whispered back. “And really good in bed.” 

Zander snorted beside me. 

Gladys sighed. “My pipes haven’t been cleaned out since my Jerry died two years ago.”

“Sorry to hear that, Gladys.” I nibbled my bottom lip. She’d been so fun to talk to so I wanted to see how far I could press her. “They make excellent pipe cleaners nowadays. I have several if you need recommendations.”

“I got plenty of those.” She gave my knee a light tap. “But it’s the intimacy I miss.”

“I got the best cuddle partner.” 

Zander nuzzled my shoulder. “Me or Peanut?” 

I tipped my head. “Peanut.” That earned me tickles until I called for mercy. Luckily, Gladys laughed at our antics.

Zander settled down and buckled his seatbelt. He leaned around me again. “Apparently, I lose to a cat.” His mouth drifted to my ear. “A cat that wasn’t a cat.” Zander’s ghost of a breath sent goose bumps along my skin. 

“Told you.” 

“What do you do, Zander?” Gladys asked. 

Zander gave her the biggest grin. “I sell popcorn at the circus now. But I’m a retired Marine, and an excellent shot, so sometimes I back up security. We sell the best popcorn. You wouldn’t believe popcorn could be life changing, but it totally turned my world around.”

“I don’t think popcorn really had anything to do with it.” 

Zander pulled his wallet from his back pocket and grabbed two business cards. One for each of us and passed them to Gladys. 

“Got my own business card. Popcorn Wizard Zander at your service.” 

He made the title up, but Sev let him have it. I laughed every time I saw it. He was so happy selling popcorn. Sometimes I sat on the bench across from his stand in the carnival and just watched him. Of course I gave him kisses too. I couldn’t let my hard working man go without. 

“Black Cat Circus?” Gladys chuckled. “You wouldn’t be that adorable kid from…” She tapped her pointer finger on her chin. “Seven or so years back doing this trapeze routine as if you were a caged black bird? Jerry and I were mesmerized.”

I sat up straighter. “You saw the show?” 

“Little on the nose, don’t you think?” Zander whispered in my ear.

“I was a raven for that routine. My parents’ idea. They were the other two in the act.”

“You were so graceful. How old were you?”

“I would have been around fifteen at the time.” 

Gladys’s eyes widened again. 

Zander tensed beside me. We both thought she’d say something about our age gap. 

“You showed a high level of professionalism at such a young age. And the skills!”

“He’s very dedicated to his art.” 

I nodded in agreement. While my career started before I could talk, it was one I chose over and over without a second thought. I loved it and I could be as creative as I could imagine. Sev never stifled me.

Gladys leaned into me. “That hunky ringmaster with the purple hair still there? Oh, and I remember a fascinating fire dancer. The way he moved.” She winked.

Zander and I both burst out laughing. 

“Both are still there. And the delightful, dashing Drake, the daredevil.” Zander grabbed a coupon from his wallet and passed it over. “We’ll be gone for a month or so, but we’ll be back. Can’t take the sky from Brighton.”

“Was that some sort of Firefly reference?” I whispered.

Zander kissed my temple. “Seems like my television education is working.”

The announcements and safety protocol started, and we turned our attention to our flight attendant. We were in for a long couple of flights to Iceland.

“How did the two of you land on Iceland, of all places?” Gladys asked. 

Zander squeezed my hand. “Brighton has a bunch of Archaeology magazines, so we grabbed a few. Flipped through them, then rolled a twenty-sided die to pick which magazine, then page. We got a page that started an article on Iceland.”

“That’s brilliant. Well, gents, if you don’t mind, I’ll be taking a nap.” Gladys gave us a wink before dropping a sleep mask over her eyes.

We settled in for the long ride. Zander threw a blanket over our legs. I cuddled as close as I could to him, which was awkward as hell with the seats. Neither of us cared, as long as we were touching. His breath ghosted the top of my head as I read. 

After the flight attendants went through with snacks, removing them from our space, Zander acted like he was stretching awake from a nap. That was our signal to try for the mile high club. He stood and sauntered over to the toilet. Luckily, our seats were close to the lavatory, which meant the walk wasn’t long. He had until the count of five before I did the same stretching routine. I gave a thorough look around to make sure none of the flight attendants were close by, then slipped into the lavatory with Zander.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi.” I pressed my lips to his in the heated kiss I’d wanted to give him since we sat in our assigned seats. He pressed me to the door and kissed down my throat.

“I miss the crop top.” His fingers lifted the bottom of my shirt, grazing my stomach.

“You’re the one that didn’t want me to wear one.” I nipped his bottom lip. “You got all cave-manny. It was hot and silly at the same time.” I wasn’t about to tell him I’d already planned on wearing a regular length shirt on the flights, but I loved watching him go all possessive when I pretended to put on a crop top.

I manhandled Zee, turning him to face the mirror. I met his eyes in our reflection. “I’m fucking you this time.” A thrill ran down my spine with the savage, hungry look he gave me. 

Zander pushed out his ass as I yanked down the waistband of his sweatpants. A strangled moan escaped me. “You came prepared.”

“I had a feeling.” He wiggled his ass against me.

“It’s been a while since I’ve topped. You have me so keyed up I’m not gonna last.”

“Don’t worry, you got me so hot it won’t take much for me either.”

I squeezed his ass cheeks and worked the butt plug a few strokes before pulling the toy from him and dropping it in his pocket. I watched his face the entire time. Watched as his eyelashes fluttered, his breath hitched.

Without asking, he bent his knees to accommodate our height difference. I slid a condom on—for ease of cleanup—then sank into his heat.

“Fuck, Zee. You’re still so tight.” 

The only reply I got back was a long moan.

I snapped my hips, smashing him into the vanity he leaned against. He gripped the sides. His breath fogged the mirror. Holy hell.

“Gods, maybe I should top more often.” 

Zander pushed back, meeting my next thrust. “I wouldn’t mind, but I love fucking your tight ass.” 

“I love that too. You’re so big and spread me open. I. Can’t. Get. Enough.” I punctuated each word with a thrust.

As predicted, neither of us lasted long. Zander came with a shout muffled behind his hand. I followed quickly after. 

I leaned against his back, panting, just holding him for a breath before pulling out and dealing with the condom. I wrapped the rubber in a bit of tissue paper so no one could know for sure what we’d done unless they went picking through the trash. 

“We’re definitely doing that again.” Zander spun in my arms. “Maybe in a few hours.”

“I’m agreeable to that.” I wiped clean the vanity where Zander’s cum dripped down the front.

We gave each other a once over, then I left the stall. 

I had to laugh when I made it to our seats. Gladys was holding another pillow, and had the flight attendant engaged in a conversation about the best type of travel neck pillows. 

“I shouldn’t keep you, dear,” Gladys said. “Thank you for your recommendations.” She waved with her fingers. 

Zander settled down beside me. “What was that about?”

“Nothing, just playing bathroom guard,” Gladys shrugged. “Did you enjoy yourselves?”

“I guess we owe you thanks,” I said.

Gladys beamed. “Glad to be of service.” She nodded and slid her sleep mask back over her eyes. 

“Thanks, Gladys.” I patted her hand. 

Zander and I settled under our blanket, not keeping our hands off each other for long. This was our first adventure together and I couldn’t wait for more, even if the thought of leaving the circus behind for even just a little bit made me itchy. I had Zander, and we had the whole world to discover.

THE END

* * *

Thank you for reading The Aerialist! I hope you enjoyed Brighton and Zander’s story. They were such a blast to write. 

Want to know more about Peanut? Hop over to The Ringmaster to learn about this not cat and why the hell Seven’s never seen him.

Plus, if you haven’t read Drake or Coal’s stories, you’re def missing out.

If you’d like to keep up with me, you can sign up for my newsletter on my website at morganlysand.com. I try not to send out too often, and I usually include book recommendations. I’m always on Instagram. Or follow me on Amazon, BookBub, and Goodreads.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Morgan’s always been a reader and a daydreamer. Their writer origin story is embarrassing now they think about it. But also kinda funny, maybe. One day they might share. If people ask nicely. It involves a psychic.

They share an apartment with their sister in Southern Indiana where they keep the AC on year round and spend all their money at Target and weekly pizza. Okay, actually their sister spends all her money on K-Pop CDs (YES, CDs) and Morgan spends all their money on books and writerly stuff.

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