Ember

COSMIC BONDS

BOOK THREE

MIRA KANE

Copyright 2025 Mira Kane

Cover by Covers by Combs

Copy Edits by Ivy L. James

Formatting by Melissa Huxley

All right reserved as permitted under the International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior permission of the Author, with the exception brief quotations may be used for review purposes. Criminal Copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is publishable by up to five (5) years in prison and a fine of $250,000.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons living or dead is coincidental.

The author acknowledges the copyrighted or trademarked status and trademark owners of the words mentioned in this work.

What is Omegaverse?

My first omegaverse was Supernatural fanfiction. I read halfway through and wondered why no one had changed into a wolf yet.

That led to many Internet searches where I discovered sometimes omegaverse can contain shifters, but it’s also possible to have a contemporary story with no magic.

Omegaverse is often exactly like our world, just with alternate human biology layered over it. This biology includes animalistic traits, fancy penises, mating instincts, bonding marks, pheromones, and a slight social hierarchy. Alphas are considered powerful, and men have knots at the base of their penises to lock inside omegas. Alphas are natural leaders and form family packs by biting their bondmate. Omegas are rarer, go into sexual heats, and are considered more fragile. Betas are the normal people without which nothing would get done.

And then I had a lot of fun picturing our modern-day world, only with the omegaverse dynamics layered over everything. So enjoy this story set in the real world, with some extra spice.

Content Notice:

Readers should note, there is MM in this book, mention of parent death (in a flashback scene), oral sex, anal penetration, double penetration, knotting, heat scenes, lots of aftercare, biting and marking, and omega that goes feral, being drugged against your will, stalking and kidnapping, mention of past assault (not show on page). If you would like more specifics, please reach out to me on Facebook, and I would be more than happy to provide whatever information you need to figure out if that’s right for you

Chapter 1

Ember

With a few more finishing touches, my presentation would be complete. I adjusted the photos and the graphic effects, purposely keeping it looking homemade. With my PowerPoint skills I could make it look professional, but I was trying to convince my family my idea was the perfect next step for our matchmaking business, and I didn’t want to oversell it.

“Easy” by Olivia Ruiz came on, and I tapped my foot.

I was alone in the conference room and thus had control over the music. I had excellent taste in music and my family ceded control years ago. I was a benevolent dictator and let them use their own playlists from time to time. I wasn’t a complete monster.

The double doors opened, and my cousin Luna stepped in. Her long brown hair was pulled into a ponytail, and she looked tired. The reason she was tired was bundled in her arms, wrapped in a red floral-print blanket. Poppy, my second cousin, or cousin-niece as I liked to call her, was only three months old and kept my cousin and her pack up all hours of the night.

Halos, one of Luna’s alphas, came in with her. His black hair was messier than usual, and he had a matching set of bags under his eyes. He still managed to look deliriously happy and gave me a smile. “Still collecting lavender like it’s the secret to happiness?”

“Of course,” I said. I’d watched Halos and Luna’s courtship firsthand at the nursery, mostly involving them staring longingly at each other over shrubs. My cousin accidentally got pregnant from a one-night stand in Vegas and she’d assumed Halos wouldn’t want her. It was an adorable love story and made last year very interesting. Luna had a pack now, and they had Poppy to keep them all on their toes.

“Fantastic.” I slid a box of donuts over to the bonded pair. “Is my favorite cousin-niece still having a party all night?”

“Yes.” Luna took the seat next to me. I made grabby hands, and my cousin put the little bundle of joy in my arms.

Poppy was adorable, a small tuft of brown hair at the top of her head. She was tiny, with the smallest little fingers, and her eyes hadn’t finished changing color yet. She made a grumpy baby noise that melted my heart.

“I can’t wait for her to get older so I can spoil her.” I’d already bought more clothes and stuffed animals than any one baby could wear, but that didn’t stop me.

Besides, the rest of our family didn’t show restraint, so why should I?

Luna gave me a tired smile. “I’m trying to cherish these moments as they come. She won’t be this little forever.”

The reminder of time passing hit me like a slap to the face, and it was all I could do not to burst into tears.

I looked down at the baby to buy myself some time, even though Luna and Halos wouldn’t have judged me for being sad.

Out of all of my family, Luna might have understood the best, but I wasn’t ready to talk about my jumble of feelings.

Last year, my cousins Stella, Luna, and Sunshine found their packs.

And I wanted that for them. But the more things changed, the more I felt the loss of our parents.

I pushed the sorrow away and focused on my objective. It wouldn’t be easy to convince everyone this was the next step for our business, but it was time.

Halos brushed his hand over Luna’s shoulder. “You need anything? I know your meeting starts soon, but I can grab you some tea or coffee?” He looked at me. “You too, Ember.”

“I’m okay.” I gestured at my cup of coffee. “But thanks. You’re a good cousin in law.”

Halos smiled. “Of course.”

I passed Halos his daughter, and he gave Luna a kiss on the forehead before leaving. He’d stick around the Welcome Center, probably showing the baby the crystal room again. She had a fascination for anything shiny, something I wholeheartedly approved of.

The door opened, and the rest of our family poured in. Stella with her swinging skirts; Sunshine with her bouncy walk; my older sister, Raina, with her hair in its customary bun; and my two brothers, Zephyr and Terran. Holly arrived last, a sister in all but blood. She’d grow up alongside us.

Terran took the seat next to me, the other computer whiz in the family. I gave him a fist bump, enjoying his soft beta scent of blue skies and fresh grass, like a warm summer day.

“How did the update go?” Terran gestured at my laptop.

I minimized my PowerPoint presentation, wanting to save the surprise. “Updates are working well so far.”

When Terran and I designed the computer program that allowed us to match people, we didn’t think it would grow this big. But Cosmic Bonds had over twenty thousand people in the matching software, bringing the company our grandparents started into the digital world.

“Are we ready to get started?” Raina looked around the room, her pink unicorn planner incongruous with her beige suit.

As the eldest and an alpha, Raina had barely turned eighteen when our parents, aunt, and uncles had died in a plane crash.

A plane crash I survived. I only remembered bits and pieces of the crash itself. The hospital stay and the years of physical therapy were brutal. I had been only thirteen at the time, and Raina took on raising the rest of us so we could stay together.

We all pitched in where we could, but it was still hard, taking on the family business after losing our parents. Looking back, I wasn’t sure how we’d all made it through, but we did.

We were thriving, if my cousins being packed up and having a baby was any sign. But we were moving on, and part of my brain wasn’t ready to accept such clear signs of finality.

It was stupid.

Our parents were gone, were never coming back. But seeing us move on, getting bonded and having children, made it feel more real than it had in years. Not since the first Christmas without them, when we struggled to fill in the holes of our family traditions.

Raina started the meeting by asking Zephyr about maintenance, and he replied with numbers and figures I immediately forgot. Stella sounded off about the client intake being on the rise, and Sunshine and Holly talked about the event planning portion of the business booming.

My turn was next. I readied myself. When my older sister looked at me, her lemon scent a sharper note than my own lemon vanilla cake, I gave my family a big smile. “Terran and I have the rest of the bugs worked out of the latest update. But while we’re here, I wanted to discuss our next big project.”

I flipped the laptop around, open to my PowerPoint presentation.

Everyone groaned, just like I knew they would, and my omega instincts beamed. “Cosmic Bonds needs a turtle pond in the North Meadow.”

“You were serious?” Raina looked half-exasperated, half-amused. Last year I’d floated the idea of having a turtle pond. It was sort of a joke, but the more I thought about it, the more I knew it needed to happen. Once I got stuck on an idea, even if it started as a funny banter to lighten the mood, it was hard to let go.

The instinct felt like when I was nesting, but not quite as strong.

“I am so serious.” I flipped through the slides, pausing on the adorable photos of turtles happily swimming. “A turtle pond in the North Meadow would add to the aesthetics.” I looked at Luna, who was in charge of the flowers. “We could add another pollinator garden, maybe some more lavender.”

“You and your lavender fixation,” Luna muttered, but she perked up at the idea of getting another flower bed.

I looked at Zephyr. “Your meditation classes could be held near the pond. The sound of running water is very soothing.”

My older brother looked intrigued but tried to hide it. His thick brown hair was in a ponytail this morning, and he had a sweater on, completing his mournful poet look. “I could move my tai chi classes there.”

I mentally gave myself a high five. I was wearing them all down. It was only a matter of time before they said yes.

Raina huffed. “Shouldn’t we be talking about the next software upgrade? Or patient intake?”

Raina was a psychologist and used her degree to make sure our clients were being matched well. In addition to technology, we used Raina’s skills and our own beliefs in New Age modalities. Stella helped them pick out crystals and I made sure everyone got a tarot reading, sometimes several.

“Sure, sure.” I closed my laptop, making sure to “accidentally” email everyone the serene photo of the turtle pond with the adorable yellow ducks. “I wanted to mention this before we got down to brass tacks.” I paused. “Whatever brass tacks are. Why would we want to get down to them? Wouldn’t that hurt?”

“No,” Raina said, changing the subject before I could completely derail the conversation. “How’s your case load this week?”

“Great.”

I was in charge of running the front desk, greeting new clients and getting them integrated into the system. As an unbonded omega, it shouldn’t have worked so well, but I was good at making people comfortable during the process.

Luna was too shy, so Stella, Raina, Terran, and I were the ones walking clients through every step of the process.

Terran brought up repairs he was making on the grounds, and the conversation moved on. We had staff that helped managed things, but overseeing what needed to get done and when was almost a full-time job.

We finished up the meeting and headed off to our respective workdays.

I gave my older sister the thumbs-up, and she shook her head at me, looking amused. “We’ll think about it.”

“Awesome,” I said, smelling victory. “I’ll go make us some more money so we can afford it.”

“You do that.” Raina rolled her eyes and headed down the opposite hallway toward the offices.

A new duck pond wasn’t the expense we should probably be considering, but the resort was doing well even though it was the end of January and not the busiest time of year to be a resort in California. In addition to matching services, packs and companies could come to stay at the lodges or cabins on the property.

I took the opposite hallway and rounded the corner for the lobby, ready to start my day. Another flash of sorrow hit me, and I ignored it.

It was okay to be happy that life was going well and still miss that my parents weren’t here to see any of it. It was a part of life, and if that meant I wanted more than I could have, I was an omega. It was basically the price of admission.

Biology would argue that my pack would give me all the things I wanted and more, but I didn’t have a pack and biology could stuff it. It was up to me to make my life what I wanted it to be. Alphas had done nothing but let me down. I didn’t need that sort of disappointment in my life.

I had plenty where that came from.

Chapter 2

Ember

My morning went smoothly. I checked in with Pack Gray. They had been here a few times, looking for the beta of their dreams. I also onboarded three new clients, two of them belonging to a pack and one solitary alpha who was sweet and shy.

Stella poked her head into my office. “Your two o’clock is early, but they said they were fine waiting.”

“No problem, I’ll grab them.” They were twenty minutes early. I’d head over to the reception room, make sure it was ready, and come get them out of the waiting room.

The Cosmic Bonds welcome center was laid out like the spokes on a wheel. People could get to the center from several different hallways, and the colorful bohemian scheme never failed to soothe me. Blue, brown, purple, and teal curtains in paisley patterns covered the windows, the walls were pine wood that shone with natural beauty, and the rugs were soft blues and greens.

I headed down the main hallway, hooking a left to the reception area. Stella and Zephyr had found a local artist to do a lot of soft and warm abstract art for the walls.

I paused. Something smelling amazing. Maybe Luna was burning a new candle. The tiny hairs on the back of my neck rose up, and for a moment it felt like I was taking a walk through the woods at night, the thought cozier than it sounded.

I kept going, getting closer to the scent along with my actual destination, the reception room.

The door was half-open, and the scent stronger. I found the source of the scent and it wasn’t a candle.

It was an alpha.

I sucked in a breath, resisting the urge to turn around and flee. But I didn’t run from anything, not even alphas who smelled too good.

He was lounging on a blue couch. He had sandy blonde hair that was tousled, and clear blue eyes.

This close, I caught a sharp fruit note under his spicy woods scent, and I almost kept going until I buried my face in his neck.

“Hi,” I said instead, pleased I didn’t sound like I was ten seconds away from jumping him. “I’m Ember.” I looked down at my files. “Are you Philip?”

He gave me an easy smile, one that warmed me from head to toe. “If I say no, does that mean you’re going to leave? Because you can call me whatever you want.”

Shivers danced over my skin, and I swallowed hard. “So that means I’m in the wrong room.”

“Or the very right one. You must work for Cosmic Bonds?”

“I do.” I poked my head out into the hallway. It was empty. “I can stay until your coordinator gets here.”

“Or you could switch and be the coordinator,” he said, without quite looking me in the eye. “I’m Ben, and you smell amazing.”

“You too,” I said. “But I’m not the one up for matching.”

“Me and my omega,” he replied. “We’re open to whatever designation.”

“See, this is what happens when I don’t have my files.” I laughed, walking over to a small countertop. A coffee machine and hot water dispenser sat next to boxes of herbal tea and single-serving coffee. “Would you like some coffee or tea?”

“Coffee, please. Rian, my omega, should be back any minute. He wanted to look around.”

“Of course.” Ben’s attention stayed on me, and it was unnerving. He lounged on the couch, and I had to stop myself from curling up next to him. My skin felt hot and tight, and I had to pull in a slow breath. He wore a Sleeping with Ghosts T-shirt, faded gray and stretched nicely over his toned body. Anyone who knew about the obscure indie band clearly had excellent taste in music. “Milk or sugar?”

“Two sugars, please.” His gaze on me never wavered. “I must say, I wasn’t expecting a beautiful omega for a client coordinator.”

I do not date clients, I told myself. It makes things confusing for them and they deserve the best experience possible.

No matter what my omega instincts were screaming at me.

He smelled like a long walk in the dark woods, like listening to an Evermore West song.

“You were expecting a matronly aunt?” I stirred the coffee. “Most people do. I could hunt down my sister if you’d like. She’s not matronly, but she definitely has the ‘all work and no play’ vibe down.”

“Oh no,” he said quickly. “You’re perfect.”

I walked over to the couch, holding out his cup. I didn’t trust myself to sit next to him, not if I wanted to behave.

“What should we expect from the matching process? You could give me all the dirt on how the packs are doing it wrong.”

“I’ll go over it more when your omega gets here, but we’ve matched you with compatible people.” I realized I’d already decided to take them from Stella or Terran, whoever had been assigned them.

“Would you like to sit?” Ben shifted.

“Sure,” I said, still holding out the coffee. “Did you want your coffee or…”

“Oh.” Ben gave me a boyish look, like he’d been caught in trouble. “You’re going to be mad about not having your files again.” He nudged a white cane with his foot. It was propped against the side table, right there, but I hadn’t noticed it until right then. “I’m blind. I’m going to need you to hand me the coffee.”

“Oh.” I sat down quickly. “I’m sorry. I should have realized.”

“Without any visual cues since I’m sitting down?” Ben chuckled. “How could you? It’s fine.” He held out his hand, and I put the white Styrofoam cup directly into his palm.

His fingers were long and tapered, and butterflies fluttered through me at the contact. It felt more intimate than handing someone a cup, and I waited until he took it with both hands before letting go. The last thing I needed to do was to drop it all in his lap.

Of course, then he would have to strip down, and suddenly that didn’t seem like such a bad idea. My lemon vanilla perfume rose at the thought, and Ben made a small noise in his throat, part growl, part purr.

I scooted further away from him, giving myself an entire cushion’s worth of space between us. A couch no longer seemed like a great idea. Raina insisted it made our guests feel more comfortable with the matching process, like they were in a living room, but around this alpha?

A couch was dangerous.

I cleared my throat. “I don’t have your files, and I don’t know what you and your omega are looking for. But I’m sure my cousin Stella already has some matches in line for you.”

A male omega entered the room, smelling like smoky oak and amber, and it complemented Ben’s scent so well I went lightheaded. They had to have been bonded for years to smell that much like each other.

“Hey, Ben.” He looked at me, and I waited to see if I would feel threatened by another omega, even if that omega was already bonded to Ben. Omega biology was fickle, and I wasn’t sure if lightning could strike twice.

If anything, I was more interested in how they would smell together than feeling territorial over Ben. Or how Rian would look naked.

“I’m Ember,” I said, standing up.

The omega walked into the room without a cane, and walked around the coffee table, so I went ahead and assumed he wasn’t visually impaired.

“I’m Rian.” He kept looking at Ben, who was giving him a wide grin. No shame or guilt for flirting with me, so they must be okay with adding to their pack.

“Ember’s going to help us,” Ben said. “She works for Cosmic Bonds.”

“Really?” He looked me up and down, assessing. His eyes flicked to the bit of white scar peeking through my quarter-length shirt, and I braced myself for him to stare or, worse, ask what happened.

Instead, he looked back up at my face, like my scar was noted but not important. A point in his favor.

He lifted his chin. “You’re going to help us find some bondmates?”

The other omega made it sound like a challenge, like it was a tall ask to find someone to bond these beautiful men who smelled like heaven.

His hair was curly and long, pulled back into a man bun. He had brown eyes and was super pale, the sort of skin that turned lobster red with the barest hint of the sun. He could have given my older brother a run for his money in the soulful poet department, with his blue jeans and green flannel.

“That is what you’re here for?” I raised an eyebrow. “Unless we got really turned around and you thought you were headed for the beach?”

Rian smirked, and Stella popped into the room.

“Hello, I’m Stella.” She paused and then looked at the three of us. “Oops, sorry, Ember. Thought they were my two o’clocks.”

“Not anymore.” Ben patted the couch next to him. “We’d like Ember to be our coordinator, please.”

Stella handed me the files, looking unbearably pleased with herself. “Of course.”

I rolled my eyes and took a seat in the armchair next to the couch. Where it was safer. Rian was still giving me the side eye, but part of me enjoyed the challenge.

It wasn’t a “no, not this omega” feeling. I tried to ignore it.

I already had West, my male omega life partner, waiting for me at home. The thought of another male omega on top of an alpha should have sent me running. And I didn’t date clients, no matter how good they smelled.

Judging by Rian’s closed-off body language, he wasn’t sold on the idea of another omega in his pack.

I ignored the urge to rub my scent on both of them, and dove into their files. The smart thing was to enjoy the giddy feeling their scent gave me but remain professional.

Chapter 3

Ben

Our first session at Cosmic Bonds had gone like nothing we thought.

I loved it.

The omega who came into the room smelled like lemon pound cake with a dollop of whipped cream. If I’d had the layout of the room memorized, I would have jumped up and licked her right away. By the time she’d made me coffee, I was able to keep a cooler head.

Barely.

The sound of paper rustled, and then Ember cleared her throat. “You two are open to whatever designation you’re matched with?”

“That’s right,” I said, focused on her scent. “Even another omega.”

Rian brushed his hand over my forearm, the touch comforting. He didn’t feel any more or less anxious through our bond, but I felt his hesitation toward Ember all the same.

It would take the two omegas time to get used to each other, but judging from how strong the amber in Rian’s scent was coming through, he wanted her as much as I did.

I could be patient.

“We’ve put your profiles into the computer and came up with your best matches.” More paper sounds. “We have several excellent men and women who are high matches for both of you. During this meeting, we like to tailor the first couple of dates to anything that might make you two more comfortable.”

Ember’s voice, already a pretty husky-sweet alto, took on the confidence of a professional in her element. It was absolutely sexy. She could read me files any day.

“I see both of you work in music.” Another pause, and I filled in the blanks of what my vision was not giving me.

I was born with degenerated optic nerves, and by the time I was five I mostly saw shadows. The room was one big gradient of gray and black, and since my depth perception was also garbage, I couldn’t see well enough to know when something was in the way.

Since I’d been blind my entire life, I didn’t miss the sense I never had, but I was occasionally annoyed by the rest of the world reminding me they thought I lacked something.

Life would have been easier if I could see, but of all the times in history to live with a disability, it could have been worse. Computers read out loud for me, letting me surf the Internet and listen to books on audio.

It could have been a lot worse, but still. Coming out of the bubble Rian and I had made for ourselves was a little intimidating. Not just because of my vision impairment, but because it had been only the two of us for almost a decade.

“Ben, you’re a sound producer.” I could almost hear the question in Ember’s voice. Most people had no idea what a sound producer actually did. “Rian, you’re a guitarist. Did you want us to skew the results in favor of people who are musically inclined?”

Rian froze next to me. “No,” he said immediately. “No musicians. We want to date someone who wants to date us for who we are, not their next big break.”

“Noted,” Ember said.

I almost felt guilty. I thought we were in a rut, and we needed to branch out. Rian agreed, but he didn’t like change at the best of times. My omega had been struggling with his music and with each passing year it grew worse.

I only hoped that something like finding another bondmate, or even just dating, would help him focus on other parts of his life, instead of what he thought of as his failure.

“Okay, making notes,” Ember said. “What about any hard nos?”

“I can’t think of any we haven’t already listed.” Rian sounded grumpy. “We’re introverts, so anyone who wants to go out all the time wouldn’t be happy. We’re not open to becoming vegan, converting to their religion, or someone who is excessively messy or tidy. I don’t see how meeting random people is going to let us know if it’s a good fit or not.”

“Those are all normal boundaries,” Ember said. I loved the lively tone of her voice. “Did you two have a long dating period?”

“No.” I snorted. “We basically jumped each other and were bonded in a week.”

Rian elbowed me, gently, since he knew I wasn’t relaxed in a strange environment. It felt weird not knowing where everything was, part of why I arrived so early.

“Dating will feel weird in that case,” Ember said. “But you two have lots of matches. Just try to relax and enjoy getting to know the other person without forcing anything.”

“Is your profile up?” I asked, barely resisting the urge to pull up the Cosmic Bonds website on my phone. “I’d love to see how we rated with you.”

“It is not,” she said primly. “We don’t date clients.”

“That settles that,” Rian said, in the same tone of voice he used when someone told him he couldn’t do something he knew he could do.

He might have been reluctant to show interest, but that was only because of how interested he was. Desire for her curled through our bond, and it wasn’t just mine. I would just sit back, relax, and let the two of them circle each other like the feral little kittens they were.

“Who’s our first date?” Rian asked, rubbing his hand over my forearm, comfort seeping in through our bond.

Ember went over a list of high matches. It was hard to concentrate when all I wanted was to bring her on a date, but I reminded myself to be patient.

Rian and Ember haggled over who would be first, until they agreed on a nice beta woman named Cindy.

Rian told me she had blonde hair and a lovely smile, the same way he would comment on the weather. But his body shifted to Ember every time she spoke, and his scent was getting stronger.

The hunt was on, and I was ready to see it play out.

Chapter 4

Rian

The drive back to San Fransico was beautiful. It was a cold and clear afternoon, the ocean on our right most of the drive, like a big piece of the sky had fallen down.

Originally, I’d wanted to go to the beach after the matching session, but now all I wanted was my nest. And my alpha, fucking me into oblivion.

I touched Ben’s arm, and he laced his hand in mine.

“You okay? I know it was a lot.” Ben asked, his face turned up to the weak winter sun.

“I’m fine,” I said, unable to hide my grumpiness. I didn’t know what raised my hackles, but something did.

It wasn’t the feisty omega back at Cosmic Bonds. She was a redhead with beautiful curves and seemed more than ready to go toe to toe with me.

I couldn’t tell if she hated me or was two seconds away from climbing into my lap.

Hell, I didn’t know which way I fell on that question.

Hate was a strong word, but my immediate reaction of “no” was hard to ignore.

She was another omega. I didn’t mind the idea of sharing Ben, and unlike some omegas, I didn’t need to be the center of the pack. But if we did choose another bondmate, we needed someone calm and relaxed. Serene.

I was high-strung and filled with anxiety about everything. Ben was easygoing until he was working and then he was laser focused and all type A alpha. We complemented each other, and I didn’t think someone as opinionated as Ember would balance us.

The sex would be hotter than a volcano erupting, but after that it would fizzle, or we would bicker and then it would be awkward.

Better to focus on the nice, quiet beta woman we were going to date instead.

“We don’t have to date anyone.” Ben squeezed my hand gently. “It was just an idea.”

“One I liked as much as you did,” I reminded my alpha. He would feel like he pressured me into dating if I wasn’t careful.

When Ben suggested using a matchmaking service, it felt like lightning went off in my head. It was the perfect plan. We were both workaholics, practically living in the music studio. We didn’t go out much, and when we did it was with fellow musicians.

Anyone we dated connected to the studio always acted like Ben was their next step to fame and glory, so we learned early on to politely decline any date requests.

A matchmaking service would provide us with new people to meet and a safe way to do that.

None of our matches would recognize Ben as one of the foremost sound producers in San Francisco. Unless someone was deep in the music scene, people didn’t realize a sound producer could make or break their career.

And almost no one knew who I was. Who I had been, once a long time ago. An angry omega who put together an album, expecting two people to buy it, one of them being me, and the other being Ben.

But the album, using the stage name Burns for my mother’s maiden name, was a hit and took off.

I stole a glance at Ben. I wondered if I could ever be that person again. Ten years was a long time.

Too much time.

People still wondered where Burns had gone.

The only photo of my face was done at twilight, in profile, so I wasn’t recognizable. I was safe in my anonymity, but I still could recite entire comment threads talking about how deeply Burns had spoken to them, and how much they wished I’d produce another album.

The hell of it was that I hadn’t stopped for lack of desire.

“I love you.” Ben squeezed my hand. “We can take this slow, or not at all.”

“I know.” I focused on the ribbon of highway in front of me. Tried not to think about the pretty omega we were driving away from. Ember smelled good, and her face was expressive. “Ember is pretty, as I’m sure you gathered. Hot.”

Ben just smirked.

He’d told me a long time ago he knew who was attractive based on how people spoke around them. “She has red hair, big blue eyes, and nice curves. Shapely waist, long legs, great breasts.”

Ben’s fingers flexed, like he wanted to touch her. I couldn’t blame him for the urge.

“But she told us three times she wasn’t available,” I said.

“And yet her perfume…” Ben trailed off.

“Was fucking amazing.” I sighed. “But Cindy seems nice. We should give her a chance.”

Ben nodded. “Okay, Rian. You’re my omega. Whatever you want to do.”

It was the same tone of voice he used when he knew I had my head up my ass but was waiting for me to be ready to remove it.

I hated that he was probably right, but it didn’t stop me from digging in. “We need someone calmer. The three of us would get into one argument and then have to figure out how to hide the body of the loser. Let’s head over to the studio, see what’s going on.”

“No.” Ben shook his head. “We’re going to your nest. Unless you want me to rail you at the studio?”

Heat flushed in my veins, and I couldn’t get back home soon enough. My alpha knew me better than I knew myself at times.

Maybe dating would be enough to drown out the panic to do something, anything with my own music.

Ben loved me no matter what, but we bonded when I was a struggling musician. I hardly ever wrote my own songs anymore, preferring to work as a backup guitarist at Red Rock Studio, the place Ben co-owned with his business partner Stan.

Did Ben wish I’d made more music? Wrote more songs? He’d heard the attempts I made over the years, the unfinished tapes, the half melodies. My alpha told me over and over he didn’t care; he wanted me happy.

And I believed him with all my soul. I felt it from him every day.

But I wasn’t happy. Making music was part of me, but every time I tried to produce something amazing, the perfect follow-up album, the pressure threatened to crush me.

Dreams could be light and airy, could carry a person away on the thinnest filament of hope. But they could also turn sour, strangling them with the lost potential, dead fruit rotting on the vine.

Ember smelled like everything I could have wanted in another bondmate, but I was already nursing the death of a dream. I couldn’t handle it a second time.

Chapter 5

Ember

After Ben and Rian left, I nearly gave in to the urge to run home for lunch so I could jump West and get rid of the chemistry building under my skin.

But today wasn’t one of West’s remote days. He was at the office in San Francisco, and I’d see him when I got home. I suffered through the simmering sexual tension until it disappeared. Mostly.

Besides, Sunshine was at Cosmic Bonds today, which meant lunch was going to be awesome. I stopped by her office and paused to make sure I didn’t hear muffled sounds.

I’d gotten used to bursting into her office until she started dating the pack of her dreams six months ago. Now they were bonded and there was a good chance one of her packmates would be in her office doing the horizontal mambo.

No sounds. I knocked, pausing before I opened the door, pausing before coming in. “Is it safe?”

“It’s safe.” Sunshine laughed, her blonde hair in a ponytail. “Logan’s doing the lunch rush, Luca has a big case at the firm, and Julian’s on call.”

“Good.” I plopped down in the chair across from her desk. “I’m starved.”

“You smell nice. Find a nice alpha?”

“Nope. Just some intake. There was a sexy alpha/omega pair, but it was a ‘look, don’t touch’ situation.” I made grabby hands at her and tried to sound pitiful. “I’m wasting away.”

Sunshine’s smirk was unbearable as she passed me a black lunch box. It was like a fancy nesting doll, with squares fitting inside themselves. “Chef Alejandro offers his compliments.”

Six months ago, when Logan was trying woo Sunshine in the only way the grumpy chef knew how, he started sending her lunch. Of course, delicious food had to be shared, so I made it part of my day to check on my cousin.

Stealing her lunch was also a good excuse to see how she was doing since she was struggling with managing the event business. Now that she had an assistant, things went smoother, but it was a nice routine. Nice and delicious.

It was also during that time Sunshine started handing me lunches made by Logan’s sous chef, Alejandro. She’d told me he liked being able to experiment with food.

I accepted it, but six months later it was weird that I was letting an alpha feed me and I didn’t know what he looked like. Sunshine said he was hot, but that didn’t mean anything. He could be hot and not smell good. I didn’t understand why he hadn’t asked for my number yet or tried to meet me.

At this point, I was scared to break the spell. It was nice that somewhere out there, an alpha wanted to feed me sight unseen. He could hate how I smelled, though I doubted it. I’d been told over and over how I had an unusually potent omega scent, and I hadn’t met a lot of alphas who didn’t find me appealing.

My omega instincts preened at being fed. I’d saved leftovers for West until Alejandro found out somehow and sent over two lunches. One for me, and one for West.

I opened the box and fragrant aromas hit me. My mouth watered. Chicken enchiladas with queso, refried beans, Spanish rice, and mini churros, all in their own little compartments.

It smelled like pure heaven. “Did they have a Tex-Mex lunch special at Talk of the Town?”

Sunshine looked even more smug. “Nope, they did steak frites.”

Alejandro went out of his way to make me lunch that wasn’t just extra from what he was already cooking.

“I’m headed over there tomorrow morning,” Sunshine said casually. Too casually. I wasn’t an idiot. “Logan wants me to help with menus since we’re going to change up the catering for the retreats this year.”

“And you need me why?” I couldn’t help it: I popped a churro in my mouth. Pure fried dough bliss, with the perfect hit of cinnamon and sugar. I sighed.

“You could help.” Sunshine opened her own lunch box. I noticed she didn’t get steak frites either, so Logan was still making her lunch special. “You love food.”

“Add more chocolate to the menu,” I said, relaxing in the chair. The chicken enchiladas were perfectly shredded and moist. I was going to die and go to heaven after eating something so good. “I like food, but I don’t know anything about it.”

“So? You know what the clients like. You have good ideas.”

“This is going to sound cold, but…” I paused to shove another churro in my face. “If I meet Alejandro and he stinks, you and Logan are going to be mad at me. I’ll stop getting gourmet lunches. I’ll have to go back to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Those were the dark ages.”

I gave a mock shudder. I was good at eating food, not so much making it. People said cooking was easy, to just follow the recipe on the back of the box. They were liars.

“First of all, no, we won’t hate you.” Sunshine took a bite out of her salmon risotto. “Second of all, if it doesn’t work out between you, West, and Alejandro, I’ll ask Logan to make you some lunches. I won’t let you starve.”

That was…surprisingly reasonable. Of course, Sunshine heard what I was really saying. I was afraid of change because it didn’t always work out in my favor. And that was her way of telling me if things changed and I didn’t like it, she would be there for me to find another way. It was sweet.

I still wasn’t sure I was ready yet.

“I’ll think about it,” I said, feeling more vulnerable than I should after a normal day.

Meeting Ben and Rian had thrown me off my groove more than I wanted to admit. I was ready to go home to the comfort of my omega partner and probably a bowl of ice cream.

Sexy chef alphas should stay the stuff of fantasies. Reality was usually so disappointing.

Chapter 6

West

Work had been one big slog, and I was so relieved to be back at the cottage I shared with Ember I almost cried.

I changed into some gray sweats and a light T-shirt, knowing my omega liked my biceps. I plopped down on the couch, and opened my laptop, hoping to catch up on work.

Computer programming was usually soothing. I could get lost in the strings of numbers, the mathematical equations that made programs work. But today was filled with a series of mistakes and mini emergencies, one after another, that utterly drained me.

I looked imposing on a good day, and most people didn’t bother to socialize with me. If my scowl didn’t turn them away, my short answers would drive the point home. But today that wasn’t enough; my coworkers were desperate for help.

Knowing Ember would want me to help our coworkers made it easier, but too much socialization had taken its toll. Ember only freelanced for Computer Solutions about once a month, but she made a lasting impression.

It still shocked me after all these years that someone as vibrant and outgoing as Ember loved me. But she did, and I tried every day to make sure I was worthy. Especially since she didn’t give her heart away easily.

The love of my life came through the door in a whirlwind of activity. After setting her purse and laptop bag down on the armchair, she curled up next to me. “How was your day? That annoying?”

I nodded, knowing I didn’t have to speak. Ember wouldn’t be offended. She rubbed her face along my shoulder, brushing her hand down my bicep like I secretly hoped she would.

I caught a small hint of scent on her, something smoky and woodsy. I turned my head, taking a deeper breath. The scent was faint, layered over her own sweet lemon vanilla. I pressed my face into her skin, breathing her in, her scent heightening every one of my senses until my cock grew hard.

She whimpered, and her lemon vanilla scent grew sweeter.

“What’s that smell?” I dragged my mouth up her shoulder, licking as I went.

“I had an alpha and an omega client today.” Her voice went breathless, her body relaxing into mine. I shifted so she could lie against my chest. She put my laptop on the coffee table. She crawled into my lap like she wasn’t sure if she wanted sex or comfort.

She could have both. I leaned back, so I was semi-reclined, and stroked my hands down her body. Some of the smoky woodsy scent rose, like a ghost, and my cock got harder.

“He smelled good. They both did.” She sounded so desolate at that.

I didn’t have to ask why.

She was tired of alphas playing games with us. They’d want her more, or sometimes me, depending on how our scents hit them.

Something would turn the alpha off. It would be my refusal to present and submit like a good little omega. Or Ember would get stubborn and they’d treat her like an idiot. It was always something.

We were broken. Broken and together, but not what the world seemed to want from omegas.

I didn’t care. If this was all my life had for me, I would call myself lucky. It was easy when this amazing, vivacious woman came home to me every day.

Ember rubbed her face on my chest, peeling my shirt up. “Nice choice on the sweats.”

“Wore them for you.” I groaned as she dragged her tongue over my bare skin.

“Someone trying to get laid?” She grinned, her face filled with pure joy.

I put my hand on her chin and tilted her face up so I could look directly in her eyes. “With you? Always.”

She leaned up and stole my mouth in a kiss. My tongue wound rubbed against hers, and she fought me for control. I wasn’t sure if she wanted the competition or the surrender.

I’d give her both. My omega deserved the heavens and more.

I moved my hands to the sides of her face, and I held her firmly, plunging my tongue inside her mouth. She squirmed, straddling my hips. I hissed when she pressed herself against me. I pushed up, grinding into her.

Knowing she wanted to stop kissing the second before it registered, I pulled away. Her lips were red and swollen, her expression glazed over. She pulled her shirt over her head, and I cupped her breasts before she could finish. They were firm and heavy in my hands, and I couldn’t get enough of rolling my thumbs against the lacy fabric of her bra.

“West,” she whimpered. She grabbed for my pants, trying to move them down, but her hands kept jerking. Her lemon vanilla scent grew sweeter and sweeter until the room smelled like lemon and cream, and the urge to taste her was so strong.

Then her hands were inside my sweats, stroking my cock, and I gasped. My body lit on fire, heat boiling under my skin. She squeezed me, stroking the head, and then gently moved her hand down my shaft again. I arched into her touch.

I pulled her pants down, and she wiggled her butt, shimmying out of her clothes. She climbed back onto me and hovered over me.

I arched up into her as she slid onto my cock, and we both gasped. She was slick, wet heat. Pure bliss.

She pressed against my chest, rolling her hips in a slow grind. It was sweet torture, but I could make her climb higher. I dragged my teeth along her neck, nibbling the place right under her chin.

She whined, and I thrust up into her. She moaned, bracing on my shoulders, and I felt the moment she shifted from wanting to be in control to letting me take over.

So I did.

I gripped her hips hard enough for her to feel a slight sting and thrust up into her. She yelped, and I did it again, harder and harder until her thighs were shaking and she was holding on to me for dear life.

Her pussy was warm and clenched around me each time like she was trying to suck me in. I considered getting the inflatable knot toy, but I didn’t want to stop.

I bit her shoulder, avoiding a small knot of scar tissue that we’d found out the hard way hurt. I pressed her down as I moved up and she exploded, the orgasm making her squeeze me like a vise. I groaned, coming myself. Ember collapsed against my chest, her red hair a riot around her shoulders.

I stroked her shoulders softly, her body still quaking. I wasn’t sure if she wanted to go again, probably because she wasn’t sure herself.

She nuzzled my chest, shifting her weight so she was between me and the couch. I pulled a blanket off the back of the couch and covered both of us, holding her close.

She licked my shoulder, leaving little nuzzling kisses as she went. “I got to hold Poppy today.”

I grunted, acknowledging her statement.

“I know I’ll get used to it but seeing her makes me realize exactly how much our parents are missing out on.”

Ember’s fears, laid bare. She’d said something similar before, and I’d comforted her the best I could. I didn’t know what it was like to love your parents so much you still felt the loss ten years later. “They would be proud of you.”

“I know.” She sighed, pushing her face into my neck. My own honey and milk scent mingled with her lemon cake until they were one. She breathed deep. “I miss them anyway.”

I stroked my hand down her back. “No one expects you to not miss them.”

“It’s hard to talk about. Like I’m making my family sad.”

“It’s okay to be sad sometimes.” I kissed her shoulder.

When I’d met her all those years ago in the hospital, she was broken. But so was I.

I’d tried to give her space and time. But she kept visiting, kept asking me inane questions about my favorite music and books and bringing records into my room. I hadn’t realized it at the time, but she gave me the light I needed to keep pushing forward when it felt like there was nothing good left in the world.

But she was sad, a deep well that seemed to go on forever. She’d been badly injured in the plane crash that killed her parents, aunt, and uncles. Her siblings and cousins were inconsolable, and her designation had flipped because of the stress. It didn’t happen often, but a person undergoing an extreme amount of stress could have their designation come in earlier than normal.

We sat together in the dark and listened to music until it felt like lyrics pumped into our veins, stamping their mark on our hearts and making us whole again. We listened to Evermore West, Burns, Straylight Focus, and more, the songs carving their way into our souls.

Years later, that sorrow bloomed into something deeper. But I would never forget how deeply she had felt the loss.

I pulled her against me, holding her as tightly as I could. “It’s okay to be happy and sad at the same time.”

She sighed against me, rubbing her face against my skin, her tongue taking small darts, like she wanted my scent all over her.

“I love you.” She relaxed completely. “You liked how that alpha smelled?”

“I did.” I kissed her forehead, the change in subject not bothering me. “I love you too. You know if you want to jump him and or his omega, you’re allowed.”

She bit her lip. “Too much trouble. They smell so good, but Rian, the male omega? He’s got walls almost as high as yours. No point in trying to scale them only for it to all fall apart.”

I nipped her ear. “You do whatever you want.”

We didn’t start out our relationship with Ember vetting most of the alphas, but she was more outgoing. If she liked how they smelled, she made sure I liked their scent too, and then we attempted to make it work.

“Sunshine wants me to meet Alejandro.” Ember pointed at her bag. “Your lunch slash dinner is in there. It was delicious.”

“Too many potential choices in one day, huh?” No wonder she was upset and confused. It would be so much easier for her to keep Alejandro in the realm of maybe someday and never have to consider reality. Dreams were easier than harsh reality any day of the week.

Except the reality currently in my arms.

“You know how my mind works.” She gave me a happy smile.

If I could make her smile like that, maybe someday it would feel like enough, that I hadn’t stolen her. She came to me, over and over. Following me to my shitty foster home, kissed me first, initiated sex first, asked me to move in with her.

I could have told her no, but I couldn’t refuse her anything. She could have every jagged piece of me, even if I regretted that she cut herself on the sharp edges.

I tried not to think about the life she might have had, how much easier she would have had it with alphas if I wasn’t around, the final test none of them had passed.

Until then, it would be only the two of us.

She reached for me again. “Nest?”

Wordlessly, I picked her up and brought her to our nest, and for a while we forgot about anything else outside the safety of our nest.

Chapter 7

Ember

Ididn’t mean to end up at Logan’s restaurant, Talk of the Town. I parked in the back, not having the energy to deal with telling the hostess I was Sunshine’s cousin. It was a cool, clear day, and it wouldn’t have felt so cold, but the wind was blowing off the ocean, cutting straight to my bones.

I suffered the winters, which were mild compared to, say, Antarctica, because I loved the warm heat most of the year. I bundled into my jacket, eyeing the back door. It was a cozy brick building, with a pitched roof and brown tiles. It was simple and elegant, and I’d never had a bad dish.

No one knew I was here. I could get into my car and leave. I didn’t have any morning appointments, but I could catch up on filing. I could scope out the perfect place for the turtle pond. Snap a photo and send it in our family group chat. Maybe go check out the baby ducks at the feed store.

I rubbed the scar on my wrist out of habit. It was white and bumpy, and the only good thing about this time of year was I could wear long sleeves without feeling like I was giving up.

I’d fought long and hard to feel confident enough to wear short sleeves in public in the summer. It helped that the scars were faded enough they weren’t glaringly obvious. But the last alpha West and I dated had told me loudly that I was pretty despite my scars.

He’d meant it like a compliment, but it still felt like a slap in the face. Despite my scars. Like, thank goodness the rest of me was hot; otherwise I would have been utterly damaged.

That decided it. I headed to the back door. I was scared to meet Alejandro. My brain was blowing this way out of proportion. He would smell okay, be perfectly nice, and I would be pleasant.

That was all. It was dumb of me to worry that his scent would be as intense as Ben’s and Rian’s had been yesterday. I texted Sunshine that I was at the back entrance and waited.

A minute later, the door opened, and my cousin grinned like the sunshine she was named for. “Hey, Ember! Thanks for stopping by to help me.” She looked positively elated, like someone had told her she’d won the lottery and chocolate was now calorie-free.

I snickered. Or like she’s just gone through Julian’s heat.

“No problem.” I stepped inside.

Controlled chaos reigned.

Sunshine led me over to a small stainless steel high bar. “They got a lunch pop, but then they’ll be free.”

The kitchen was divided into two. One side was what I expected from my diet of reality TV shows about chefs: a big row of stoves, burners, and an oven behind a long stainless steel counter where chefs put food up into the window for servers to carry out.

Perpendicular to that was a smaller kitchen. There were stoves, burners, a fridge, and a long counter space, and right in front of that were three stools. Almost like a small diner.

“This is where Logan experiments without getting in Alejandro’s way.” Sunshine gestured for me to take a seat. Sunshine had a notepad at her place setting and a glass of soda.

I scanned the other side of the kitchen. I recognized Logan, his brown hair mostly covered, his white chef hat making him look more serious than usual. Three other chefs worked in the kitchen, and all wearing black-and-white-checkered pants that looked like pajama bottoms, and white chef jackets with their hair tamed in some sort of handkerchief or bandanna.

I scanned their faces and locked eyes with one of them. He was the most handsome of the bunch. His skin was light brown, and a couple of pieces of curly black hair escaped his bandanna. He was sweaty but it looked good on him, and he had warm brown eyes and dimples.

I stifled a traitorous whimper, feeling hot and then cold.

We only made eye contact for a second before he had to turn back to the stove to flip or smash or caress a meat patty. I didn’t know; I wasn’t a chef. He was doing chef things. But that moment was long enough to send shivers down my arms. I couldn’t scent him at all, not with this many people and food smells, but that didn’t stop me from trying to.

Sunshine got me a glass of soda and talked about the menu. I nodded, smiled, and added comments about chocolate cake and more milkshake options, but I was only halfway paying attention.

Sunshine took pity on me and kept the conversation light. She was a good cousin.

The orders slowed down too soon, and I still had no idea if I was supposed to go talk to the sexy alpha or if I’d be bothering him.

Logan approached Sunshine and gave her a kiss on the mouth. They looked at each other like they were the entire world, and my heart lurched.

I had that with West, I reminded myself. He was the center of my universe. I was a greedy omega, to want more people to love me like that.

Logan nodded. “Thanks for coming by.”

“No problem.” I smiled, trying very hard not to glance over at the stoves. “I love food, so helping seemed like a good plan.”

“I should introduce you,” Logan said gruffly. “Come here, Alejandro.”

My mouth went dry, and I tried to smile. The sexy alpha came around the side of the kitchen, looking amused. “Yes, chef?”

He sounded slightly sarcastic, like he was poking fun at himself and Logan.

“This is Ember, Sunshine’s cousin. Ember, this is Alejandro. Thanks for giving him an excuse to play with food again.”

Bless Logan, that was my in. “Anytime.” I looked at Alejandro. “I’m happy to help whenever you need someone to deal with the leftovers.”

He was somehow sexier closer up, and I caught a whiff of his scent, something tropical and fruity, like a pineapple and a strawberry had a love child, with undertones of palm leaves.

I wanted to lick him, get his scent all the way into my mouth. It was as dirty as it sounded, but also an impulse to know more.

“Of course, mi vida.” He winked, and I swore my panties caught on fire. Someone needed to stick his face on Sexy Alpha Monthly; we’d make a killing. “I live to serve.”

All coherent thoughts left my brain. I was ready to blame my red cheeks on the heat in the kitchen, but if I didn’t get my libido under control, the entire kitchen would smell like my perfume.

“Are you hungry?” He gestured at the stove. “I haven’t started your lunch yet. I asked Sunshine what food you liked, but she said you weren’t picky.”

“With food?” I shook my head. “Not at all.”

“You must have favorites?” he asked, charm oozing from every pore. More questions in that tone and I’d give him my social security number, my security code to the cottage, and my bank account.

“Uhhh…” My brain went blank. “That pork katsu thing you did was amazing. I love chocolate in all forms. Those chicken enchiladas really hit the spot. And thanks for the extra meal for West.”

He put his hand on his chest like he was wounded. “It hurt me so badly to hear that your omega partner was forced to have leftovers. If I’d known sooner, I would have sent you more.”

I took a long drink from my Coke, needing time to think. “You don’t have to do it at all.”

I waited; this would be the perfect opening for him to ask me on a date. For my number. To cash in on all the goodwill he generated from cooking for me and West for six months. I wasn’t sure what my answer would be.

“Of course not.” He tsked. “You want to watch?”

“Oh, yeah,” I said, my voice dropping to a purr. “I love watching.” West would go nuts for his scent; I just knew it.

The alpha winked and headed back over to the station. I went around to the other side, keeping the countertop between us.

“You’re allowed by the stove, if you want?” He paused, like he was reassuring me he wouldn’t accidentally set me on fire.

I almost kept going for the countertop. It would have been easier to have more space between us.

But I could stand the heat. Plenty of the chefs bustled around, pretending not to listen to us flirt, so we had chaperones.

I wouldn’t be able to jump him with so many people around.

Probably.

Chapter 8

Alejandro

It took everything in my being not to drag Ember off to the supply closet. It was the only place I could think of that we’d have some semblance of privacy.

But there was a wary look on her face, breaking through her delight, and that gave me pause.

Ten months ago, I’d caught her scent on Sunshine, and I was a goner.

I’d gone home to my little apartment and fought not to go into a rut. I’d jerked off so many times I’d felt raw, but nothing quenched the need for her.

But I had a front-row seat to Logan’s courtship of Sunshine. I gathered the tragedy of losing their parents left its mark on them.

I also knew I was hardly the best catch. I wasn’t ugly, and omegas seemed to like my scent, but I worked thirteen-hour days, six days a week. I could hardly court her properly. Then I found out she had a male omega partner. She smelled amazing, but she didn’t have an alpha.

That meant the other alphas were fucking up. Royally. They had to be complete idiots to not be worshiping the ground the two omegas walked on.

I promised myself then and there I would court Ember and West, but slowly.

I didn’t mean to make it six months of slowly wooing her the best way I knew how: food. But Sunshine mentioned on occasion that she would have to get Ember to come over. When that never happened, I took that as a sign that Ember wasn’t ready. The omega knew where I worked, and when she was ready, she’d come see me.

Now that that day had finally come, I realized my hubris. I did not have a next step in my brilliant Woo the Omegas plan. Feed them, yes. Flirt, also that. Her lemon pound cake scent was making my mouth water, and fantasies of picking her up and eating her out right on the counter played out in my mind.

I pushed my thoughts out of the gutter. Cooking with a hard-on wasn’t on my top ten list of most comfortable activities. “What would you like for lunch? It’s nice to be able to ask for your opinions.”

She smiled, her big blue eyes watching my every move with hunger that had nothing to do with food. “I’ve loved everything you made.”

That made my alpha preen. She liked it all.

“And West?” I raised an eyebrow. “It’s okay to have cravings.”

“We’re both happy to have a delicious meal. Much better than ramen or peanut butter and jelly. Or cereal.”

I made a pained noise. “No, mama, we’re not doing that again.”

This woman was going to drive me nuts. Cereal for dinner? Hell no. Not on my watch.

I pulled some steaks out, a half-baked idea forming in my head. I glanced at Joey and Brianna. They had the service in hand, but I wanted to make sure before I completely went off on my own cooking.

A quick glance at Logan and Sunshine showed the two of them looking pleased with themselves. Matchmaking jerks. I supposed, given where Sunshine worked, it was only a matter of time.

“What do you like to do?” Ember leaned against the counter.

“I basically live here.” I chuckled. “I’m boring when I get home. I play video games or watch movies and then go to bed and come here. Sometimes I experiment with food.”

She gestured at the steaks. “Are you going to eat lunch with me?”

“If I’m invited.” I sent her a sly look. She looked intrigued, but her shoulders were still stiff, like she was ready to bolt.

I could wait. I’d spent six months with her scent haunting me. Although now that I met her, my control was about to be severely tested.

“Of course you’re invited. Sunshine says there’s a little chef table around here?”

“Sure is.” I gestured in front of us, to the side of the serving window.

It was a tiny two-seater table we used for breaks, or when significant others came to visit. Joey’s pack stopped by to see him from time to time, and Logan was cool about letting us have visits with our loved ones. He knew better than most of us how grueling the chef’s life could be on your personal life.

Most of us chose not to have a personal life, but I was starting to see why Logan pulled back from working so much. We’d been in a kitchen together for almost ten years, and that man was like a brother I never had.

“That sounds fun.” She perked up. “It’s cute.”

“It is. Louise, Brianna’s alpha, likes to bring flowers in.”

“I can do that.” Ember’s face lit up, and it felt like I’d been punched. “My cousin Luna grows beautiful flowers. You should come see them.”

“I should. Only the best flowers for our chef’s table.”

“Exactly.” Ember eyed what I was doing on the stovetop.

I added some eggs.

“Where did you learn how to cook?”

“Hawaii.” A small pang of homesickness hit me. I loved California, loved being closer to my dad’s side of the family, but I missed the island life too. At least I still had the ocean. “My dad was in the Air Force, one of the first Mexican American pilots there. Met Mom, who’s Hawaiian, while he was there and fell in love. I grew up there but traveled a lot to Mexico or California. I went to culinary school in Honolulu, and then Logan took a chance on a punk kid fresh out of school for his new restaurant.”

“Don’t let him lie like that,” Logan hollered across the restaurant. “He pulled my ass out of the fire.”

“Ooooh, give me the details.” Ember’s eyes gleamed.

“Logan’s chef partner pulled out at the last minute—a week before opening—and left. I stepped in to help.”

It had been a chaotic time. Logan was a world-renowned chef, and I was fresh out of culinary school. I was certain I was going to royally screw up and let Logan down. Somehow, I didn’t. I made mistakes, of course, but the real work was just being there sometimes seven days a week for weeks at a time.

“Boy, did I learn a lot.” I chuckled.

“I bet you did.” Ember gave me an appreciative look, watching me move around the stove. Years of muscle memory kicked in and I didn’t have to pay strict attention to what I was doing. The steaks were browning nicely. I basted them with herbs and butter.

“What do these guys know about you from working with you that most people won’t?” Ember gestured at the room at large. She seemed curious but her posture was still stiff, and I wondered if she would have relaxed better if we’d been alone.

Of course, it would have been much harder to keep my hands to myself if we were alone.

I thought about it. Some piece of information people who worked with me would know wasn’t immediately obvious. “I’m a neat freak but in oddly specific ways.”

“Yeah, you are,” Joey said, shaking his head. He was bald with many tattoos, looked more like a biker than chef. “Like, the man organizes his eggs in a certain way.”

I blushed, but only a little. “It makes sense to rotate the fresh eggs from the older ones.”

“Like the eggs actually sit there long enough to get less fresh than a few hours.” Joey shook his head.

Ember looked pleased with this sort of information. She looked less guarded, and her beauty was more radiant. It stole my breath.

“I also rotate my wardrobe by day of the week. It’s all clean, but I have stripes or checks, and I switch them out.”

“That’s adorable. I bet you also want the dishwasher loaded a certain way.”

“Guilty, carina. It gets the plates cleaner.” I flipped our steaks.

“He takes every dish personally.” Joey leaned against the countertop. “Like, every chef make food for passion, right? But Al here acts like the Queen of England is going to eat off every plate he puts up.”

“Awwww.” Ember melted. “I love that you love what you’re doing.”

“Have to,” I said, suddenly embarrassed. “It’s long work otherwise.” Joey was helping me out, but also damn, the guy went straight for the jugular. I plated our food and sat with Ember at the chef’s table.

I asked her about work, and she told me about her clients. No names, of course, but she talked about the process.

She took a bite of food and groaned. “This is perfect. How do you always know what I want?”

I gave her my best winsome smile. “I aim to please, mi vida.” I’d watched my father woo my mother, even after years of marriage, and it was through worshiping the ground she walked on.

I could do that, especially for this omega.

“So have you considered signing up for Cosmic Bonds?” She smirked, like this was a test of some sort.

“Is your profile in there?” I looked hopeful. “Because I’m not out here dating just anyone.”

“My profile isn’t live,” she said. “I’m there to help clients, not date them.”

“Guess I’m glad I’m not a client then,” I said.

She smiled, her shoulders relaxing, and it felt like I’d passed. Maybe. I didn’t know why she was skittish, but that was okay. I could work with wary, especially when she smiled at me like that.

We finished our food, and then the kitchen got slammed again.

“I have to go, carina, my apologies.” I glanced at the tickets coming in.

“It’s fine.” She patted the to-go box I’d made for West. “I have to head down to San Francisco anyway, so I’ll deliver this.”

“Very kind.” I stuffed my hands in my pockets. It was that or pull her into a kiss, the audience be damned.

She lingered, looking between me and the door, like she was waiting for something.

“Will I see you again? Are you coming back?” I could ask for her number, but that felt too forward, almost too on the nose.

“I can. I could give you my number so you can ask direct questions about cravings and stuff.” Her cheeks grew red. “If you want. I mean, you don’t have to.”

“I’d love to,” I said, feeling like I’d successfully navigated the awkwardness of finally meeting the omega whose scent had me out of my mind.

I pulled out a Post-it note I’d written some meat temps on, and wrote my number. “That’s me, if you want to reach out.”

Ember put it into her phone right away, and texted me, “This is Ember.”

I pulled my phone out, showing her the text. “Got it.”

Ember gestured at the line. “Thanks for letting me crash your morning.”

“Any time.” I winked. “Sundays are extra slow in the morning. We do inventory.”

“Good to know.”

She headed out and the rest of the kitchen held their breath. I hopped into my station, and even Logan was grinning.

“All right, you busybodies.” I huffed. “Get back to work.”

“Yes, chef,” Logan said with a smirk. Sunshine’s innocent look was too practiced.

Now to figure out when I should text Ember without making her feel pressured.

It was clear I’d have to move slowly, but that was okay. I had all the time in the world, especially for what mattered.

Chapter 9

Ember

Ispent the almost hour drive to San Francisco having my own personal dance party in the car. The ocean was at my side, the early afternoon was bright, and I poured my heart into every song that came up on my playlist. I sang along to all my favorite songs, going from 1980s dance mixes to the slow mournful tunes of Evermore West.

There was something about being in the car, or the shower, and listening to music. It felt like the voice of the artist poured into my soul, breaking me and making me whole at the same time.

In a lot of ways, music saved me. I listened to albums on repeat during my recovery period, lying in bed at night and letting the haunting melody of Evermore West or the husky broken voice of Burns wash over me.

It was a safe way to feel when my own emotions would have broken me, dragged me under.

Alejandro was somehow exactly what I expected, but also nothing like it at all. Watching him cook made me want to lick him. A competent man in the kitchen? Now I saw what made Sunshine fall so hard for Logan.

But he didn’t push me, didn’t even ask for my number until I prompted. It seemed like he was perfectly fine to keep moving at a glacier pace.

Which was good. Right? I didn’t want anything to be too intense, too fast.

Maybe I’d try to get to know the alpha chef enough to see if West and I wanted him at our heat in two months. We hadn’t had an alpha during our heat in almost two years. West had an inflatable knot he used on me regularly. We didn’t need an alpha to get by, even if we ended our heat exhausted.

But wanting was a different matter.

I didn’t like how annoyed I was that Ben’s faint hint of scent was no longer on me. I didn’t know him well enough to want to carry his scent. Or the sexy omega. Two omegas were a stretch but three? I shook my head.

Holly had two male omegas in her pack, but she was a beta and had two alphas as well. A two-omega pack wasn’t common, but people made it work.

But three omegas seemed like asking for trouble.

No. West and I were fine, and my body was being stupid.

Traffic wasn’t too awful, and I arrived downtown.

Computer Solutions was a massive tech firm. I didn’t need to freelance for money, but I liked being in the middle of other programmers. It kept my skills sharp, and I stayed on top of the latest technology.

I found a parking space and headed up the elevator inside the parking garage.

The office was a cubicle hell, with a massive section of desks all sharing space in the center of the room. Around the sides were actual, real offices with doors.

I shuddered, wondering for the millionth time how West managed to work in the middle of a massive, brightly lit room. Spite, I decided. Most people assumed an omega would get too twitchy to manage, and they’d be correct. But West was good at ignoring everyone around him and usually wore heavy headphones during his workday. He also got a cubicle to the far corner, so he only shared space with two people and had a hallway and wall to his other side.

I headed over to West’s cubicle. A couple of people nodded hellos, and I gave them quick smiles. I was dressed casually in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, and that combined with my red hair made me stick out like a sore thumb.

West wasn’t at his desk, but catty-corner to his desk was Greg, a mutual work friend of ours. Greg saw me and brightened.

“Ember! I didn’t know you were coming in today.” He stood up and leaned over the half wall.

“Stopping by for lunch,” I said, lifting the black lunch box. I really should get West a cooler lunch box. Or maybe I’d get him something ridiculous, with pink and glitter and fluffy kittens.

I grinned. He’d carry it to work too, knowing how amused it would make me.

“West is in a meeting, but he’ll be out soon.” Greg gestured at his own computer. “Come check this out.”

I walked around West’s desk to Greg’s portion. Greg was a portly beta man, about my age, with thick, messy brown hair and glasses. He wore a white button-up shirt, dress slacks, and a tie with anime characters on it.

“Sit, sit.” Greg gestured for me to sit in his chair.

Hackles raised, I sat. I really didn’t want to marinate in his scent, but Greg was oblivious to personal space.

“Here.” Greg leaned over me to pick up his headphones and put them on my head, his musky patchouli scent making my eyes water.

I didn’t want to make a big deal out of nothing. Greg was socially awkward, reading cues a second too late. He was partially the stereotypical nerd grown up to become slightly angry and bitter about the world’s view of him, but he was also smart and could be charming when talking about topics that interested him.

West and I went out and got drinks with him and some of our other coworkers occasionally, but I never knew what sort of mood Greg would be in.

Sometimes he was the life of the party and considerate, like the time he made sure everyone got home safe during the ice storm last year. Other times he would complain about how all the pretty girls never wanted to dance with him.

He’d asked me out the first day we met. I’d told him I didn’t like to date people I didn’t know. A month later, almost to the day, Greg asked me out again since I knew him better.

I’d told him no again, and he seemed to take it gracefully. But ever since he flipped between showing me how awesome he was to low-key being resentful.

It was exhausting, and I didn’t have the emotional bandwidth for Greg today.

“What am I…” I looked at his computer. Code strung along the screen in complicated patterns. Greg was a computer whiz, and I could usually steer him out of his pissy moods by asking him about his latest project.

Greg hit play, and music shredded my eardrums. I yelped and yanked the headphones off. “Too loud, oh my god.”

“Sorry, sorry.” Greg leaned over me again, his arm almost but not quite touching my breasts to get to the mouse, and I scooted back. “That’s better. Try now.”

I put the headphones on again, trying not to wince at the overwhelming scent of patchouli and rosemary. The rosemary smelled almost soapy, and I didn’t like it with the musky, too-sweet smell of patchouli. It reminded me of New Age shops where the store owner never bothered to shower and burned too much incense.

The song started again, the beat coming through clearly. It was a mash-up of Juliet Vale’s two newest songs. Someone had layered her slow, heartbreaking ballad “Unfinished Goodbye” over the eerie background track of Horrors Untold, a hit horror TV show that focused on pop culture as much as it did the horrific trans-dimensional creatures that broke through.

I gave Greg a thumbs-up. I wanted to listen to the entire thing, but not while Greg was standing over me, basically breathing down my neck.

I pulled the headphones off. “That’s a great mash-up.”

“I thought you’d like it.” Greg sounded smug. “We were talking about doing a movie night soon, so maybe we can do Horrors Untold and have a listening party.”

“I’ll have to check my schedule, but that sounds fun. We should see when Sabrina and Jace are free too.”

“We can do it my house. I just had this really sweet home theater built.”

“We’ll talk about it,” I replied, standing up. I couldn’t say yes and then change plans later. Greg was the sort of person who took one offhand “yes” as a contract signed in blood.

I looked around for West. Damn it, my omega had horrible timing.

“You brought West lunch? That’s so sweet. We can put it in the break room.” Greg gestured to the left, and I bit back a snarky reply that I knew where the break room was. I followed down the short hallway to the room in question.

The breakroom had a microwave, fridge, and full-size table and chairs. It was normally a great place to hang out.

“You want some food? We could order something.” Greg held a chair out. “My lady.”

“I just ate, thanks.” I sat down, and Greg sat next to me, almost brushing against my shoulder. He normally wasn’t this over-the-top, and I wondered if work was stressing him out. “What are you working on?” I asked, and sure enough, that made him launch into a detailed description of his current projects. He could be really boastful, but he also could back it up with the skills.

That managed to kill ten minutes, but he stopped sooner than normal to lean closer. “I’m glad I have you to myself for a moment.”

“Oh?” I raised an eyebrow. “That sounds ominous. I didn’t do it.”

He didn’t acknowledge my joke. “I was wondering if I could go through the matching process at Cosmic Bonds.”

“Of course.” Relief loosened the knot in my stomach. I’d thought he was going to ask me out again, and then I felt like a conceited jerk for worrying about that. “You can sign up online and then make an appointment to start the process. Let me know when you do.”

“So long as your profile’s in there,” he said and winked. Somehow his winks hit differently than Alejandro’s and it wasn’t only because I found the alpha chef sexy.

“It’s not actually.” My mouth went dry. “I don’t date clients.”

“Oh.” He deflated, his face getting sad. He had big brown eyes with long lashes, his best feature. “Look, I know I’m just a beta.”

The phrase set my teeth on edge.

Sunshine and Holly struggled with feelings of worth as betas. Society acted like they were the support system propping up alphas and omegas. But there was a difference between Sunshine being told she wasn’t as desirable just because she wasn’t an omega and Greg complaining he couldn’t get any dates because he was a beta.

Sunshine’s wound was reinforced by shitty alpha behavior. Greg used the phrase like a sword he would throw himself on the second something didn’t go his way.

Besides. People wanting me because I was an omega wasn’t exactly a compliment. I wasn’t a person to them, just a designation. They wanted what they thought was a submissive woman who turned into a sex slave once a quarter, which was why the world treated male omegas like West was second best.

“It doesn’t mean I can’t take care of you.” Greg leaned closer, his soapy-musky smell heavy in the air. “I have money. You and West manage without an alpha, so it’s not that I’m not…” He flushed, pausing and looking down at his pants.

Oh my god, I wanted to scream.

“I know that,” I said quickly. “But I’m not dating anyone right now.” I immediately hated myself for not just saying no. But the last time I told someone no, he told me I was a slutty bitch who led men on. Making Greg mad didn’t seem worth it.

Greg sat back, pushing some of his greasy hair out of his face. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“It’s okay.” I searched for something to say that wouldn’t seem like encouragement.

The door opened and West came in. It took all my willpower not to jump up and rub myself all over him, just to get rid of Greg’s secondhand scent.

West raised his eyebrow. “All good?”

“Yep.” Greg stood up. “I’ve got to get back to work. Nice chatting with you. We’ll do that movie night next week?” He did finger guns at me.

I fought not to roll my eyes. “I’ll post the question in our group chat.”

Greg nodded at West and left.

I let out a breath and switched seats. West sat next to me, and I rubbed my face all over his shoulder. He smelled like milk and honey, a soft scent especially for an omega. When he was in heat or I got him really worked up, a hint of almonds came out.

West put his arm around me. “Did he ask you out again?”

His silky black hair was braided back today. If we weren’t at work, I’d pull it out and play with it. West was Korean American and had lightly tanned skin with brown eyes. His hair was my obsession, thick and silky, hanging to the middle of his back when it wasn’t pulled back.

“No, but he was working his way there.” I slid his lunch over. “I stopped by Talk of the Town.”

West scowled at the door one more time and let me change the subject. “And?”

“Alejandro’s smoking hot. And he smells good.” I let out a breath. “Some tropical fruit I can’t place, and palm leaves, warm and green. Like being on the beach.”

West opened the box. “How dare he smell good and know how to cook.”

“Right?” I fiddled with a fast-food napkin someone left behind. “He looked horrified when I told him we were living off cold cereal and takeout before he cooked for us.”

West chuckled. “When’s the date?”

“He didn’t ask.” I watched West eat. I didn’t make the food myself, but my omega instincts were satisfied that West was getting a good lunch. Maybe this is what Alejandro felt. “He let me take the lead. I had to offer my phone number.”

“Not pushy. Good.” West dove into his food, and I pulled his braid into my hands, playing with the ends. I wasn’t made of stone; his hair was right there. For the touching.

West was right. Not pushy was good. Preferred. I’d just bury myself in work and see what happened.

I would absolutely not overthink this. Not when I had a turtle pond to wheedle out of my family.

Chapter 10

Ben

The fancy high-class restaurant was fancy and high-class. I forced Rian to pick the restaurant since he was likely to be the most uncomfortable. He chose Ascent, a swanky restaurant in downtown San Francisco. It required me dropping my name to get a reservation on short notice but had the benefit of being a place I’d eaten before.

I tried not to admit it out loud, but I couldn’t shake the preference of being in public places I’d been to before. I didn’t have the floor mapped at Ascent, but we’d gone there for a birthday dinner a couple of years ago, so it wasn’t completely new.

We arrived early and took our seats. I set my cane next to my chair. Ember assured us that once we accepted the date with Cindy, she’d had access to our profiles, so we weren’t springing it on our date tonight that I was blind. Ember also told me she would call Cindy and make sure the beta had a safe space to ask questions, an extra touch I was impressed with.

Normally I hated it when someone “found out” I was blind, and I was still around. They always sounded shocked, like I’m managed to cleverly hide it from them.

Maybe because I didn’t wear dark sunglasses. Because I didn’t usually “act” blind, whatever that meant. Considering I’d been legally blind my entire life, I wasn’t sure what sighted people thought of as “acting blind.”

The waiter came over and brought us water, but we opted to wait for Cindy before ordering anything.

Before we left for the restaurant, I had my Seeing AI app read me the menu out loud. I already knew what I wanted, but judging from the slight rustle of paper to my left, Rian was flipping through.

“You want an appetizer? Those stuffed mushrooms sound good.” Rian touched my hand.

I’d already assumed we were ordering the stuffed mushrooms since my omega hadn’t met a stuffed mushroom he didn’t like. “Sure.”

“The garlic spinach and parmesan dip sounds good too.” Rian sounded distracted.

I mentally canceled the dip. I didn’t feel like navigating a first date while also trying to keep the dip on the chip and get it into my mouth. In public. I was secretly pleased I was comfortable enough at home eating dip that Rian didn’t think to question it.

So much of my disability was trying to maintain my skills, reminding people that I could do almost everything for myself, but also not being too proud to ask for help.

Could I have walked through the crowded restaurant without Rian being my sighted guide? Sure, that was what my cane was for. Swinging the red-and-white cane in front of me showed me where tables, chairs, and other obstacles were, and also had the benefit of making people get out of the way. But I didn’t mind his help, and it was a nice excuse to touch him.

It was the first time we’d been on a date with another person in ages, and I tried not to feel like it should have been Ember.

I’d keep an open mind and see what happened.

The soft cuff of Rian’s shirt was fun to trace my finger over. Rian told me he wore a white dress shirt with black slacks. I’d picked out my own outfit to complement his, and wore black slacks and a light blue shirt Rian told me brought out the blue of my eyes.

“Hi, I’m Cindy,” a bright, friendly voice said. She was close to the table and, judging by the sound coming higher than our heads, standing.

“I’m Rian.” Rian stood up and managed to sound halfway pleasant.

I stood up as well and gave her a smile. “I’m Ben. Nice to meet you.”

“Thanks for meeting me. What a nice place.” She laughed a little.

“I’ll get your chair.” Rustling sounds came next, and I sat down, timing it so I could match it to the scrape of the wood on the floors. I assumed Rian was pushing her chair in.

Movement to my right, and then Rian sat down in his own chair in a cloud of smoky amber.

“We haven’t ordered anything yet,” I said. “We were waiting for you.”

“Thanks.” Paper rustled again, and her voice took on a thoughtful tone. “I’ve never been here. I’ve heard amazing things.”

“I’m glad we chose it.” I listened to Rian shifting in his seat, and the soft clink of silverware, He was probably playing with his fork. The restaurant was lit nicely; it didn’t hurt my eyes even to sit near a light like we were.

The world was a layer of gray shadows and blobs. Even though Cindy was only two feet away from me, I only saw a big gray shadow that was slightly lighter gray than the person sitting at the table behind her.

I’d already had her profile read to me. Cindy was a blonde, blue-eyed, beta woman who worked as a marketing executive in San Francisco. She was thirty, five years younger than I was, and one year older than Rian. She liked the ocean, running along the beach, and going to aquariums.

I could see why the algorithm matched her so highly. She seemed like a nice blend of my and Rian’s personalities. She smelled pleasant, like baby power and freesia.

“We were talking about an appetizer,” Rian said. “Stuffed mushrooms?”

“Oh, sure,” she said. Her tone of voice was a little high-pitched. I didn’t know her well enough to say if it was nerves or she didn’t like mushrooms but was trying to be agreeable.

“We could order a couple of appetizers if you’d like,” I offered.

“Mushrooms sound good.” She paused. “Have you two been with Cosmic Bonds long?”

“Nope.” I drank from my glass, the water cool against my lips. “You’re our first date.” I injected cheer in my voice.

“That’s wonderful.” She sounded genuinely pleased. “I’ve been on three dates. It was fine, but the chemistry wasn’t there.”

“My name is Marco and I’ll be your server for the evening.” The waiter’s voice came from my left.

Years of practice kept the surprise off my face. Another reason restaurants weren’t high on the list of my favorite things. It was harder to hear people. The soft sound of conversations floated around me, and it took a lot of concentration to listen for footsteps on the plush carpet.

“Can I start us out with some wine?” the waiter asked.

“None for me. I’m the designated driver.” I winked at Cindy and she gave a nervous chuckle.

Rian tapped my forearm. “He thinks he’s hilarious.”

“That’s because I am.”

Rian let out a long-suffering sigh, and I grinned. I had an entire repertoire of blind jokes I used to make sighted people more comfortable. I was hilarious.

“Can I have a glass of Bordeaux?” A pause from my omega and he said, “What would you like to drink?”

“Oh, ummm, the Bordeaux sounds lovely.”

“Excellent choice.” The waiter shifted his weight, the fabric of his pants making a soft sound. “Can I start you all off with an appetizer?”

Rian ordered the mushrooms, and the waiter left.

“How did you get into executive marketing?” I asked. I would be kind and attentive, and this would be a nice first date. I wasn’t over the moon over her scent, but scents weren’t everything.

“I got a marketing degree, and the firm headhunted me after I graduated,” she said, and paused. “I don’t mean to be rude, but did you need help with the menu?” She sounded uncertain.

Annoyance flashed through our bond, and I pushed calmness at Rian. I’d already told him to expect questions about me being blind. I was fine with it. It wasn’t like she was a complete stranger off the street trying to interrogate me.

“I’m okay, thanks.” I gave her a pleasant smile. “There’s an app on my phone that reads out loud, so I do that before I come to a restaurant.”

“That sounds great,” she said. “Have you been blind your whole life or…”

“Basically.” I ignored more annoyance coming from Rian. His chair squeaked a bit. I didn’t feel like going into the entire ins and outs of my diagnosis, but I figured giving her the big picture, ha ha ha, another funny joke, would satisfy some of her curiosity. “My vision has always been really blurry, but it’s gotten worse over time. I mostly only see gray shadows with blobs.”

“I’m so sorry.” She sounded sorry too.

“It’s okay.” I tried for another smile. “I don’t really know what I’m missing. I enjoy the life I have.” I squeezed Rian’s hand, happy he hadn’t moved it from where it was last.

“Your appetizer,” the waiter said, and the click of a plate hitting the table came. A meaty aroma of baked mushrooms swimming in cheese and butter hit me. “Are we ready to order?”

A slight pause in conversation. I assumed Rian and or Cindy were looking at each other.

“I am,” I said. “How about you two?”

“Yes, me too,” Cindy said quickly.

I made life eating in public easier on myself and picked steak with some sides while Rian got his usual carb extravaganza of shrimp alfredo. Cindy ordered the salmon.

The waiter refilled our glasses. “Can I get you anything else?”

“I’m great, thank you.” Rian shifted in his seat, sounding less great by the minute. He was very protective of me.

I was used to people acting like my blindness was the worst thing they could ever imagine. It was annoying, of course, and people could be utterly selfish assholes, but mostly I lived my life.

Absolutely everything in our society was centered on the idea that you could see, but this was the twenty-first century. I was a lucky bastard to be born in the era of smartphones that could work around almost every issue that came with my disability.

My mouth watered as the scent of butter, parmesan, and earthy mushrooms wafted up again. Rian served me some mushrooms, and we made small talk. The weather, our different jobs, recent movies we’d seen.

The food arrived, and I took my time cutting my steak. I kept my water on my ten o’clock and my wine on my two o’clock. I almost spilled the wine when the waiter set the glass down in the wrong spot, but I managed to recover with a wobble.

Cindy spoke easily, but I could feel her attention on me during some of the pauses. Rian helped in that sense, because his annoyance always spiked at the same time.

“I have to say, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you could see.” Cindy’s voice was still bright and warm, like it was the greatest compliment.

I could almost hear Rian grind his teeth. “And how should a blind person act?”

“I’m sorry.” Cindy sounded genuinely sorry. “I was trying to be complimentary, but I can see how that’s not…polite.”

An awkward pause. I tapped Rian’s hand, still at my three o’clock.

“It’s okay, Rian,” I said. “Visually impaired people are given extensive training on orientation and mobility.”

“I wasn’t trying to be rude,” Cindy said again, silverware clicking on her plate.

“It’s really okay.”

I was used to sighted people expecting me to grope around to find things. When I asked Rian about signing up for Cosmic Bonds, I knew we would have some basic conversations about my blindness, and I didn’t see it as too much different than talking about our personal preferences in a partner.

For example, Rian wouldn’t be able to stand a long-term relationship with someone who never picked up after themselves. We’d dated an alpha woman who was a total slob, and it only took three dates in for us all to realize it was a deal-breaker.

I didn’t see this as being too different from the normal getting-to-know-you conversation.

“The orientation and mobility training, or O&M, teaches you to keep a mental picture of where things are in space, and also how to find landmarks, listen for cues, and, if you can discern light well enough, use light sources.” I touched my water glass and then my wine glass. “I keep my drinks at ten and two o’clock to my plate, so I always know where they are.”

O&M training covered a lot more, but I didn’t want to go into the boring details, like how to make sure you were facing the right way on the sidewalk by listening to the flow of traffic.

“That’s amazing,” the beta replied. “I haven’t really thought about it, but that seems so much better than…not knowing where everything is.”

“It’s way better.” I took a bite out of my steak, the filet melting in my mouth.

“So do you use a cane, or a seeing eye dog?” She sounded interested. I associated the tone with the same people who asked me about working as a sound engineer. They didn’t understand sound engineers were the people mixing music, making songs sound like they did. It was like a fascinating new world opened up for them.

I didn’t mind talking about either parts of my world, but I forgot how nice it was not having to explain so much.

Out here, I was a blind dude talking to a sighted person who literally couldn’t picture what it was like not to be able to see.

I couldn’t remember if Rian was this bad about firing away with questions when I’d met him, but I didn’t think so. We were more interested in how each other smelled, and getting the other person naked.

“I prefer a cane, but that’s just me,” I said, falling into my role of visually impaired person educating the sighted masses. “Lots of people love having a guide dog, but between Rian’s work schedule and mine—” I brushed my hand over Rian’s. “—it’s easier to stick with my cane.”

Besides that, when I used my cane, people knew what that meant. The few times I did have a guide dog, people ran into me a lot more.

“How do you know if someone is a guy or a girl?” she asked, and my estimation of her plummeted. It was a sadly common question, but I would never understand why sighted people cared so much about gender.

“I don’t always.” I shrugged again. “I don’t see why it matters.”

“Oh, true, especially since you’re attracted to both genders?” She sounded a little embarrassed.

“I’m bisexual, yes.”

“If you’d like to feel my face, I wouldn’t mind,” she said like she was doing me a favor. “Since you can’t see what I look like.”

“Thanks, but no.” I laughed to cut the tension radiating out of Rian. I didn’t have to be able to see to know Rian was giving her a death glare. “I know it’s a big trope in movies, but it’s not actually a real-life thing. At best, I’ll be able to feel that you have a nose, hair, and eyes.”

“That’s nice. It doesn’t matter if I’m pretty or not.” She laughed nervously.

“Actually, Ben has preferences like sighted people. For example, he knows how long my hair is, and likes it,” Rian said, sounding too pleased with himself. He was being nice, which had my hackles raised.

“Right, of course.” Cindy still sounded relieved, like the weight of social expectations was off her.

I never knew if I should be flattered or not. On one hand, people felt less judged around me, but on the other, it was based on their physical appearance. Hopefully they wouldn’t want to be around a person who judged them solely on looks anyway.

I didn’t care about hair color, for example, but I liked it when Rian and I dated women who wore dresses, because then I liked legs. I had physical preferences just like everyone else; I just didn’t express them until I was further along in the relationship.

“I think it’s amazing, how you’re living your life without letting your disability define you.”

Some of my determination to take Cindy’s questions at face value slipped, and I almost snarked back that other people did that just fine.

In the end I settled for the answer I gave to get the person off the subject. “I’m just living my life, right? Don’t actually have a choice. Besides, people live with disabilities all the time. You find a way.”

Rian huffed. “Can we talk about something else? That isn’t about how amazing it is that Ben knows how to use a fork like a big boy?”

“Sure, sorry.” Cindy sounded wounded. “I was just curious, but of course.”

The night was stilted after that. I was drained, and I couldn’t decide if we should have a second date to see if things would get better or not. It went about as I expected, but it could have been better.

We said polite goodbyes and stood up together. I got my cane, extended it, and shifted behind Rian. He put my left hand on his elbow, and we exited the restaurant. As we moved, I heard the slight pauses in conversation that meant people were watching us leave.

Cindy said goodbye one more time and left in the opposite direction. Rian went to the right, where the street leading to the parking garage was located.

The sound of cars on the street was loud, and the slight wind was softer this close to the buildings.

The pavement changed from squares on the sidewalk to smooth asphalt, and sound echoed as we entered the parking garage. I mentally counted rows until we reached the car.

“Sure you don’t want me to drive?” I asked, reaching out for the keys.

“Not tonight,” he said halfheartedly.

I climbed in and felt the lurch as the car pulled away.

“She was awful. Like you were a sideshow monkey.” Rian growled, his smoky oak and amber scent filling the car. The amber had a bitter note to it.

“It could have been worse.” I patted his arm. “She didn’t ask how I knew when to stop wiping my butt.”

Rian laughed. “She probably didn’t get a chance to before I shut her down.”

I relaxed, trusting Rian to get us back home in one piece. It was definitely going to be a head-straight-to-the-nest sort of night.

“We’ll go back to Cosmic Bonds tomorrow,” Rian said like he’d come to a decision. “We’ll tell Ember to screen the ableist idiots out of our profiles.”

I snorted. “That would be a real magic trick. Seriously, I’m fine with questions. We expected it.”

“Yes, but not as the entire topic of conversation.” Rian grumbled. “We changed the subject twice and you gave her a few outs to ask about music.”

“All right.”

Going back to Cosmic Bonds meant seeing Ember again, and I was definitely not against that.

Judging by the satisfaction in Rian’s voice, he didn’t mind so much either.

Suddenly the week was looking up.

Chapter 11

Ember

Ifought not to look forward to Alejandro’s daily text.

The day after we exchanged phone numbers, he’d texted and asked if it was too soon to ask for lunch requests.

I replied that I was craving something with pasta, and the next day I received shrimp scampi. From there, I peppered him with questions about his favorite TV shows, food, and music preferences. It was almost a week of texting each other, and I started sending him music playlists in addition to random questions.

I was focused on the Cosmic Bonds software, trying to find the bugs, when my phone pinged:

Sexy Alpha Chef:

What does mi carina crave this week? There’s a bunch of strawberries at work right now. Also thanks for the playlist. I really enjoyed “The Quiet Between Us” and the entire “Iron Lung” album.

I grinned. I had a wide taste in music and it was nice he was at least pretending to like it.

Ember:

crepes? Uhhh strawberry shortcake. Idk what else gets made with strawberries, I’m not the chef, you are.

Sexy Alpha Chef:

that is true, but as you say, you like food. Crepes sound nice, maybe with some beignets and a dipping sauce.

Ember:

you had me at “sauce”

Sexy Alpha:

this is what I’m currently working on

He sent me a picture of his current creation. They were apparently ramping up for Valentine’s Day even though it was a month away. The picture came through and it was a dark chocolate three-layer cake.

Ember:

omg I would commit arson for a taste

He sent me laughing emojis.

Sexy Alpha Chef:

I’ve packed you some this evening, no arson necessary

I considered a joke about a five-alarm fire in my panties, but decided against the innuendo. I went back to work, wrangling more bugs out of the program.

I cleared some appointments off my plate and tried to dig into the code to see why the software was doing stupid things like matching up people who clearly had opposite preferences.

I also went back in and checked Ben and Rian’s profiles since they asked to meet so they could tweak some things.

My stomach did not swoop at the idea of seeing the two of them. Nope, it did not. I was not actively craving their scents like a junkie waiting for her next fix.

Dating them would be a beautiful disaster, a train wreck of epic proportions. Ben was sweet and sexy, Rian was the right amount of brooding and intense, and it wouldn’t end well.

I could sniff them all I wanted, but I told my omega instincts to calm down. We did not hump our clients. I needed that embroidered on a pillow. It would become my new mantra.

I fiddled with the software all morning, working myself into a fugue state where time had no meaning. I blasted my favorite work playlist and pulled out lines of code that had warped some of our algorithms.

Someone knocked on the door and scared the life out of me. “Come in.”

Maybe it was Sunshine coming to take pity on me and deliver lunch.

Stella poked her head inside instead. “Ben and Rian O’Shea are waiting for you?”

I cursed and looked at the clock. I’d hoped to meet them looking less like a feral goblin, but that ship had sailed. My office was presentable, and my omega instincts wouldn’t be denied. Having the meeting in my office meant they would sit on my couch. Afterward, I could huff their scent all afternoon.

Not that I was planning that far ahead, of course.

“Can you show them to my office?”

“Sure.” Stella smirked as I straightened up random papers on my desk. I wasn’t anywhere near as messy as Sunshine, but my desk had seen better days.

I kept the door open and scanned the floor for any tripping hazards. I pulled the two chairs opposite my desk closer and shifted the coffee table away from the couch a little bit.

Rian entered first, looking like he was going to his own execution, and Ben followed behind him, looking pleased with the world by contrast. Rian’s left arm was behind his back, like he was a fancy waiter, and Ben had his left hand on the omega’s elbow.

I may or may not have done a massive deep dive on YouTube about visually impaired people. I didn’t want to ask stupid questions, and knowing my squirelly brain, I probably would if I didn’t get some basic answers. Also, I wanted to be able to prep their dates beyond the basics Ben had given me.

Three videos I’d watched suggested Rian was acting as a sighted guide when leading a visually impaired person down a narrow space.

“Hello,” I said, unable to contain my joy. My utterly unfounded joy, I reminded myself. “Good afternoon.”

“Fancy meeting you here.” Ben shook his cane out and did small swings in front of him.

“There’s a couch to your left,” I said. “We could sit there if you two would like?”

“’To your left’ isn’t actually helpful,” Rian said, sounding annoyed already. “Directly to Ben’s left? Fourteen feet? In another state?”

“Sorry,” I said, not annoyed with Rian’s tone at all. “Precise would be better.”

“That was helpful,” Ben said, his cane lightly hitting the leg of the coffee table and then the couch a moment later. “Rian’s in a cranky mood.”

I cocked my head at the other omega. “Are you hungry? Thirsty? We have some catering in the lodge on the grounds. We could get a decent lunch.”

“The grounds?” Rian perked up but then shook his head and sat next to his alpha. “I’m okay.”

Their scents filled the room, and I debated sitting in the small armchair next to the couch. Most of our offices were big enough for a desk and a small sitting area to the side, since more than half of us saw clients.

I took the armchair, needing more of their heady scents. Rian’s smoky oak and amber had a small hint of greenery, like moss. Ben’s spicy woodsy scent with the sharp berry scent I still couldn’t place hit me like my next addiction fix. They mingled together, and I felt like a heroine in a gothic novel, standing on a desolate moor with the wind whipping through my hair.

I leaned forward to get more of that scent.

“Cindy was a total bust,” Rian said, sounding like I’d personally set him up for failure. Despite his grumpy attitude, I didn’t take it personally. A lifetime around West had inoculated me against omegas whose default personality was “cranky” around outsiders.

“How did she not like you two? You’re sexy and smart, and smell amazing.”

Ben looked pleased. “You think so?”

“Focus.” Rian nudged Ben but also sort of looked pleased. At least, less sullen. “Cindy seemed okay, but before we could really get to know her, she asked a bunch of dumb questions about Ben being blind.”

“Oh, damn.” I sighed. “I’m so sorry. I’d hoped talking to Cindy directly would have been enough.”

“It was like she was reading off a top ten list of what not to ask a blind person. The only thing she didn’t do was offer to pray for Ben, or suggest he see her optometrist.” Rian crossed his arms over his chest. His very nicely toned forearms, which I was definitely not supposed to be noticing.

“She might have.” Ben snickered. “It’s fine, seriously.” He looked delicious, his blonde hair still tousled, and he wore a light blue Henley that brought the blue of his eyes out along with khakis.

I wanted to curl up next to him and shove my face directly over his scent gland. Even Rian’s scowl didn’t deter my libido. His curly brown hair was in a man bun again, and he had a frayed T-shirt on over a pair of jeans with a hole in the knee. I got a glimpse of pale skin with dark brown hair poking through, and I had to resist the urge to touch his bare skin.

“I would have hoped she went down the YouTube rabbit hole. At least done a quick Google.” I tucked my feet under me. “It’s not okay. No one likes to be grilled on a date, especially about that.” I touched my forearm, remembering the endless barrage of questions I’d gotten about my scars when they were fresh.

Rian gave me a quizzical look.

“If you’re comfortable with me stepping in, when I match you up…” It was harder to get those words out than it should have been. “I’ll go over a basic list of information so they can ask me their questions.”

Ben frowned. “I don’t mind but it’s not really your job.”

“It actually is my job. And it’s not definitely not yours.” I shook my head. “YouTube and Google are free. It took me five minutes to answer most of my own stupid questions.”

“Really?” Ben perked up. “And what did you find out?”

It was impossible to hide my blush. “I’m of course not an expert, and if there’s something you want me to specifically answer, I can. But I started with, like, the listicle Top Ten Things Not to Ask, and then from there I went down the rabbit hole of guide dog versus cane, different accessibility devices for the home, and O&M training.”

Rian looked impressed. “You looked that up?”

“I figured you were sick of the same five questions over and over.” I made it sound like I was trying to be polite, but I was sure Ben was tired of it. I certainly would be.

“Were there any questions you couldn’t find an answer to? I don’t mind teaching you.” Ben cocked his head and my stomach swooped. It sounded a lot dirtier than he probably meant.

“I can’t think of anything.” My brain went immediately blank. All of my questions were more specific to Ben’s life, like how did he get used to being in a strange place?

I got lost in San Francisco and I could see. How did he go grocery shopping? I was curious about Ben’s specific diagnosis because apparently people could lose their sight in many different ways, but I wasn’t about to pry for private medical information. I wouldn’t ask him that any more than I wanted a stranger to ask me about my years of physical therapy.

“You’re free to ask,” Ben said. “Especially since you did your research, so you’ve got a leg up on most people who offer to let me use their glasses.”

I snorted. “So other than her questions, is there anything else I should look out for?”

Rian played with the hole in the knee of his pants. “I don’t know.”

My playlist switched over to Evermore West, and Rian frowned. “You like Evermore West?”

“‘Like’ is the understatement of the year. Like. I like macadamia nuts, the month of May, and getting out of work early. Evermore West made a map to places in my soul I didn’t know existed.” I tried to keep my voice even, but it was hard when talking about music.

Rian blinked and I worried I’d said too much, shown too much of myself. But then he nodded. “Yeah, that’s about what it feels like.”

“The lyrics alone would send me. ‘The midnight road was calling, but I took the water’s way. Let the river pull me under, wash my sins away’?” I quoted one of my favorite songs. “But then his voice is haunting and husky, with the guitar and the eerie instruments.”

The voice reminded me of what Ben and Rian smelled like.

“’But the past runs deeper than the waters I wade, and the river don’t forget the choices I made,’” Rian said, almost whispering. “I heard that part of the song and it felt like I’d died a little.”

“I love that Evermore West does concept albums,” Ben said. “If you’re going to show me part of my soul, I want a map.”

“Right?” I almost squealed. “No one does a good concept album lately.”

“Thank you,” Rian, gesturing with his hands. “Force me to listen to the entire album in one sitting or don’t waste my time.”

“Except Bones,” Ben said. “Reason to Believe. Juliet Vale. They all do good concept albums.”

“Okay, true.” I pointed at Ben. “Some artists are doing it. But back in the eighties it was almost mandatory.”

“And some of them sucked.” Ben wrinkled his nose. “My goodness, some of them were terrible,” he repeated like he was reliving bad memories. He gave a shudder for emphasis.

“Maybe it’s good we get variety,” I said. “Spice of life and all that. But indie artists wind up experimenting more, which means we get some good concept albums.”

“That’s because most big labels only care about making money,” Ben said vehemently. His blue eyes lit up and his voice got huskier with passion.

“Here we go.” Rian shook his head. “We’ve got him on his soapbox now.”

Ben shoved Rian’s arm. “You know it’s true. They want to churn out the next sanitized pop hit. Let’s just pretend the avant-garde music isn’t what sets the tone for the genre. But no, we’ll only produce what we think is safe and will make us a ton of money, even though we don’t actually know what will make us money.”

“Like Evermore West,” I said. “Started out indie, gets a song on a hit tv show, suddenly everyone needs haunting indie folk rock.”

“And since they want to copy the sound,” Rian added, “it sounds fake and doesn’t do well. So the studio decides not to finance haunting indie folk rock anymore.”

I bounced in my seat. “Thus the vicious corporate cycle is complete. Thank God for modern technology. There’s so many good things you can do with a basic laptop these days.”

“Exactly.” Ben sat up, his face animated. I had accidentally stumbled into a passion I shared with the alpha and omega, and I wasn’t sure I could contain myself. “It’s really opened the playing field for indies and corporate alike.”

“At the risk of a loaded question,” I said, looking between the two of them, “what sort of studio do you work for? Are you stuck as a corporate wage slave making illicit rave dubs at night?”

Rian laughed; his face lit up. His face was open, and the urge to crawl between them rose higher. “No, oh, nope. I think Ben would hang himself if he was. Ben gave the middle finger to the corporate exes a long time ago and opened a studio with a business partner. They get to take who they want without worrying about a big label.”

“You’re safe, then.” I was relieved for some reason. At least they were free to make the music they loved. Their scents were everywhere in my office and I reminded myself I wasn’t supposed to be sexing up the clients.

Rian cocked his head, narrowing his eyes like he expected me to say something next, but I wasn’t sure what it was.

Evermore West switched over to the Neon Outlaws, and I jumped in my seat, clapping my hands together. “Please tell me you’ve heard the Neon Outlaws. Please please.”

“Only their cover of ‘I Drove in Twilight’.” Rian’s gaze roved over my body and I suddenly thought it would be easier to keep my distance when he was in a bad mood.

“Oh my goodness, oh my goodness. Okay, so the band gets together in music college, right?” I couldn’t stop myself from the info dump.

Ben nodded. “Right, checks out.”

“They think to themselves, ‘The world is missing a concept album from the Starfleet universe.’” I paused for dramatic effect.

“The video game?” Ben sounded confused. “It’s a platform jumper, right? Made in the 1980s?”

“Yes,” I jumped out of my chair and changed the songs on my computer. I also pulled some bottled water out of the mini fridge. “Okay, but look. They took the rivalry between Dr. Weitz and Dr. Light and made it this epic ballad. A war between man and machine.”

“That’s…” Rian rubbed his chin. “That’s brilliant.”

“Each album sounds different too. The first is really heavy and loud.” I clicked on “Echoes of the Void,” a song where Dr. Light talks to his son about Dr. Weitz’s corruptive influences.” I let them hear the part of the song, and then paused it. “But then the second album is, like, a prequel? And it sounds like eighties power ballads and progressive rock.”

Ben gestured. “I have to hear this now.”

I was super excited and probably way oversharing, but I couldn’t help it. I had to make them understand how amazing this group of albums was. I picked the song “Starfire’s Last Stand.”

Rian’s face flushed with understanding. “Oh, yes, this is amazing.”

I waited until the song was over, feeling almost high with joy. “It’s brilliant.”

Rian pulled his phone out. “We’ll listen to the entire album on the drive home.”

“Tell me what you think,” I said. “West likes the second album the best, but I can’t pick just one.”

“West?” Ben asked. “Is he the other scent on you?”

“Yes, he’s my omega partner,” I said.

Rian’s face fell, but I couldn’t figure out why. Some of the previous openness shuttered up, and it felt almost like a slap. “We’ll let you know which we prefer too. Can we get a tour of the grounds?”

“Sure.” The change in subject threw me off, but our scents were strong, and if I didn’t get some fresh air I would embarrass myself.

I led them outside, sure that something had shifted and not for the better.

But that was fine, right? I didn’t hump my clients. Maybe I really needed that pillow.

Trying not to feel rejected, I showed them down the hall and out onto the grounds.

Chapter 12

Rian

Ifollowed Ember, trying to not to panic. My brain went on autopilot as we headed out to a massive rolling green field.

Joy radiated out of the other omega when she talked about music. For a second it felt like being at the studio with Ben, jamming and talking about the thing we loved the most, outside of each other.

She was animated and passionate, and she smelled so good I fantasized about licking her. Ben wanted her as much as I did, and he had less reservations than I did. It would be so easy to pull her into my lap and kiss her. Take her apart, piece by piece. Sandwich her between us until that lemon scent coated both of us.

I wanted her more than I cared to admit, especially after the fiasco with Cindy. Even if Ben was used to people asking thoughtless questions, I wasn’t. By the end the beta was asking whatever came to mind, like Ben needed an award for overcoming his blindness.

Like he had a choice. Like the world gave him the option.

He didn’t. I saw firsthand the extra work he took to do something simple, like going to a new place, shopping, or eating out. I took a hundred things for granted while Ben made plans and backup plans.

We needed someone who didn’t start that way. Cindy could have looked up some basic facts before heading into a date.

Watching Ember talk about music almost undid me.

“Here we’ve got the meadows.” She gestured around us.

The welcome center was one small part of the grounds. A massive lodge sat to the north of the property, with a scattering of other cottages dotting the land. Around the buildings were rolling green fields. One of the fields held a yoga class, and nearby were people doing tai chi. Ember waved hi to an alpha, and jealousy flashed through me until she said the alpha was her older brother Zephyr.

I needed to get a grip on myself. I suppressed a whine, my brain trying to justify the need for Ember’s scent on my skin.

Ember had a male omega partner. I could scent him on her, picking out a bit of sweetness, honey I thought.

Any hope I might have had with Ember evaporated the minute I found out she already had another omega in her life. I was brooding, moody, and cranky, even when I didn’t mean to be. Ember with another omega? I was destined to be the third wheel.

Ben wouldn’t leave me; I knew that as sure I knew the sun would rise. But letting Ember in, only for the relationship to flame out once the two omegas decided it was too much, would hurt me more than I wanted to admit. In the end, I would be too needy. Too clingy. We needed a slow, soft start to dating, not the burning explosion of a dying star like dating Ember would be.

I forced myself to admire the scenery. Ben brushed his hand down my arm, pushing calm confidence through the bond. I used his good cheer to buoy me, borrowing an emotion I wasn’t feeling myself.

Ben had his cane out, swinging through the stone walkway. It was open out here, so we didn’t bother with me being a sighted guide. I never minded, but Ben liked to be able to move.

“It smells nice,” Ben said. He was right; it smelled like lavender and some other flower scent I couldn’t place.

“It’s great.” Ember beamed, her red hair swaying around her in the breeze. She was attractive, the sort of beauty they wrote songs about.

Even now, a hint of a melody tickled the back of my mind. Something about the scent of lemon and cake, of the sweetest honey and deepest pain.

How dramatic is that, I thought. I hadn’t written a new song in a year and the snatches of lyrics that did come were more and more melodramatic.

But Ember reminded me that other bands did melodrama well, like Evermore West. The indie folk rock band wrote lyrics about forces changing you, and feeling it in his bones, but it was delivered so earnestly it worked.

I wondered if Evermore West felt self-conscious writing lyrics like that, or they knew it was okay to be a melodramatic bard the Internet had likened to being an Unseelie Fae.

Maybe I could ask Ben for a face-to-face with the lead singer, Patrick.

I wished again that I could write music and get out of my own head. When I was a teenager, I’d sit alone in my crappy room and write songs. All sorts of songs: happy ballads, rock with heavy guitar rhythms, and dark melodies filled with pain. It was as essential as breathing, and I didn’t question myself like I did now.

I was technically a better musician. I’d been playing guitar and writing songs since I was ten. My parents praised me for being a prodigy and talked about how talented I was. How far I would go.

They still asked me if I was making music for other people. And when would I produce my own album? They even made not-so-subtle hints that it was no good being bonded to a music producer if I never made my own music.

I hadn’t told them about making my own album at the time and now I was glad. I didn’t want them to know I was a washed-up has-been after only one album.

Sometimes I wished I could go back to being barely eighteen, writing songs as a way out of my own mind. My depression and sorrow, my pain and confusion. The bright, almost manic love I’d felt when I met Ben. Music was my way through the woods, but now I was lost.

Music abandoned me or I abandoned it. I understood the artists now when they said each song, each poem, each story killed them a little, a slow death. Writing was easy; you just opened up a vein and bled on the page.

I lifted my face to the sun and tried to ground myself in the moment. It was okay if I never wrote another song again. I had Ben. I was able to make music. Wanting what I used to have was hubris.

It was reaching for the sun and complaining when the flames burned my fingers.

I looked at Ember’s flame-red hair, and knew she would burn me too. Or lead me astray in the woods, like a will-o’-the-wisp. She wouldn’t mean to, but she wouldn’t put up with my bullshit for long.

“You two are welcome on the grounds whenever you want.” Ember led us up a path. “Cosmic Bonds isn’t just about dating. You can take yoga, and there’s art classes, cooking, a sauna, and a meditation circle.”

It was daylight, bright and sunny, but I could see in my mind’s eye it getting dark, the chill in the air, the bright pull of Ember’s scent enveloping me until I was helpless but to follow.

Judging from Ben’s intense look, and the pure longing I felt in the bond, he was thinking the same thing.

“It wouldn’t be creepy if I wandered around?” With my guitar, I added mentally. The woods at the top of the hill were open, letting sunlight in, the pathway well worn. I scanned the ground for roots or something Ben might trip over and saw Ember doing the same.

“Not at all. We have a lot of artists who come here just for the atmosphere.”

She smiled, and I closed the distance between us. Would it be so bad to get lost in the woods with this omega? She could lead me out, help me find my way through.

The breeze brought her scent to me, and the soft note of honey hit me. West, her omega. I stepped back, cataloguing the confusion on her face as I turned away.

Another omega. It was too much. Two omegas would be a stretch but three?

I’d have to hope he tolerated me, and I wasn’t even thinking about bonds with Ember. I was driving on pure instinct and need to taste her scent on my tongue.

We were doomed to fail.

We finished our tour, and I asked about our next candidate. If Ben and Ember both seemed disappointed, that was too bad.

It was better this way. I was already lost in the woods. It was better not to drag everyone else in there with me.

Chapter 13

Ember

The next few days, I felt unsettled. I rearranged the nest twice. Luckily, West didn’t seem to mind, just helped me move all the pillows that were on the left side to the right side, rotate out the ten throw blankets, and resettle my massive Squishmallow collection. I made him fuck me over and over, my skin crawling with need.

The software stayed buggy no matter what Terran or I did. West helped reprogram some lines, and it seemed fine until, a few hours later, it messed up again.

My office smelled like the alpha and omega pair I couldn’t get out of my head. I’d taken to eating my lunch on the couch, sitting where the two of them had been. I felt pathetic, but I couldn’t stop myself either.

They smelled good. That was all it was. Rian was hot and cold on me, and I never wanted to cause friction between an alpha and his bondmate, especially another omega.

Alejandro texted me, showing me pretty pictures of the sunrise when he went into work as well as funny memes.

I loved how he was taking his time, making me feel wanted, but I hated it at the same time. I wanted him, now, even if the thought also made me nervous.

In short, I was a mess. I wanted to blame my heat hormones, but that was almost a month away.

Again, like I’d driven without really knowing why, I ended up at Talk of the Town. Except it was a Sunday morning. Alejandro had said he had more time on Sundays since they did inventory.

I pulled out my phone.

Ember:

Can I crash your inventory? I’m bored and I have nothing to do

If he said he was busy, I’d go back to the cottage. If he said yes, well. I’d help him count vegetables or whatever inventory meant.

No matter how many times I told myself it was okay that I was interested in Alejandro’s scent, it didn’t feel okay. It felt dangerous, like I was way out on a limb and I was about to drop.

I didn’t know how to make that feeling go away, so I did my best to ignore it. That was a healthy coping mechanism, right? My therapist would be thrilled.

My phone pinged back.

Sexy Chef Alpha:

Of course you can crash inventory, mi vida. I would love nothing better. I might even have some donuts here.

Ember:

Omg donuts I’m sold

That alpha knew how to press my buttons.

I got out of the car, my feet making wet sounds on the pavement. It was drizzling, the first week of February feeling lackluster. Zero stars, I did not love this weather.

I knocked on the back door and waited. My light jacket didn’t do much to hide the biting sting of the not-really-there rain.

Alejandro opened it, looking comically surprised. “Were you in the parking lot or did you teleport?”

I looked over my shoulder at my car. “I mean, why not both?”

Alejandro looked amused. “Very well, then.” He stepped to the side, and the kitchen was quiet for once. It was almost creepy.

“I have never seen this place this empty.”

“It’s Sunday. Lots of the staff have the day off or don’t come in until later.”

It was barely ten in the morning. I took a gamble on him even being here, and it paid off.

He lifted up a white box from Golden Donut, and I sighed. “Oh my god, yes, they have the best donuts.” I picked up a chocolate glazed and bit into it.

He watched me avidly, heat in his gaze. Shivers rippled over my skin, and his citrus-sweet green scent got stronger.

I swallowed, taking the glass of water he handed me. “How’s work been?”

He shrugged, clipboard in hand.

I looked around, but so far, I hadn’t spotted anyone else.

“This is one of our slower seasons, so we do more catering.”

“Last week was slow?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, yes.” He chuckled. “When the summer hits, it’s a madhouse from dusk until dawn. You? How’s that software bug?” He went down a row of produce, and I finished off my donut.

“Still there. I swear it appears overnight.” I let out a huff. Alejandro did indeed appear to be going through their pantry and counting things.

“Isn’t there a way to digitize this?” I scanned the rows and rows of cabbages, lettuce, tomatoes, and other fresh produce.

“It’s never accurate.” He frowned like the fruits and veggies had personally offended them. “And we have to place our orders regularly, or we won’t get the delivery.”

“Makes sense.” He smelled so good; the urge to snuggle up against him was almost impossible to resist. He was working, I reminded myself. Around food. It wouldn’t be sanitary to get my cooties all over the stainless steel counter. I’d have to ask Sunshine how she managed not to jump Logan’s bones at work.

Alejandro wasn’t wearing his hat, just a bandanna around his head. The chef jacket showed off his broad shoulders but left too much to the imagination. I wanted to pout.

I followed him around as he went through the food and then the dry goods. His chef pants showed off his butt, firm and rounded, and I pictured him pushing me against the wall, grinding against me like I loved.

His tropical beach scent went straight to my head, and I almost asked him to make me a smoothie using those exact notes. My mouth watered for a taste of him, and heat seeped between my legs.

Alejandro looked up, giving me a look that was all alpha. My breath caught in my throat. His scent grew stronger, and my own lemon vanilla scent was drowning out the dry aroma of towels and napkins.

“You make it very hard to behave,” he said, his voice almost a purr.

Everything was sweating, the small of my back, even behind my knees. I swallowed hard. “Your scent makes it hard not to think dirty thoughts.” I licked my lips on reflex, not trying to seduce him, but he froze like I’d flashed him.

I sucked in a breath. “We can’t…I mean…” I looked around the kitchen. The fantasy of being pushed against the wall was strong, but I didn’t want to be the reason they didn’t pass their health inspection.

“Of course, mi reina.” He let out a breath and took a step back. “What would you like for lunch today?”

He was putting space between us because he thought I was telling him no to touching.

Something inside me unraveled. I knew he was waiting for me to give him signals, but seeing his desire—and then his restraint—scrambled my omega brain. I wanted him, badly, partially because he easily set aside his lust in favor of my comfort.

“You.” I raked my gaze over his body. “What I meant is if we fool around here—” I touched the countertop. “—Logan’s going to be mad if we perfume out his kitchen.”

He took another sharp breath in. “Not in the supply closet he won’t.”

I took a step toward Alejandro. “You’re doing inventory anyway, right?”

“I am,” he said, his voice husky. “Shall I inventory you?”

“Oh, yes, yes.” Molten fire raced in my veins, enough that my pussy clenched around nothing.

Alejandro opened a door off to the side of the kitchen. It was small, with wall-to-wall paper supplies.

Heat pulsed through me, my attention narrowing on his sweet citrus scent, so potent, and the immediate need to have him touching me. He shut the door behind us, and I opened my arms. Alejandro closed the distance between us, pressing me up against the wall. I whimpered, bringing one of my legs up to rub against his thigh. He was a mind reader, a brilliant mind reader.

He closed his mouth over mine, swallowing all my sounds. His mouth was soft, his lips against mine setting me on fire. He moved his hands down my sides, almost frantically, like he wasn’t sure what to touch first.

I understood his dilemma. I ran my hands up his chest, happy to finally feel his firm muscles move under my hands, and then down to his butt. I wrapped my legs around him, climbing him, and he slid his hips against mine. My core pulsed when his pelvis fit against mine and I felt the rock-hard bulge.

I was so hot, so wet, it felt like I was gushing. “Oh, yes, please.”

“Whatever you want, mi vida.” He rubbed his nose into my neck, sucking in deep breaths and nipping with his teeth.

I arched into him, waves of desire running through me, inexorable like the ocean. He dragged his mouth over my neck, nipping the sensitive spot behind my ear.

I arched up into him rhythmically, trying to get the friction I needed. His scent was everywhere. I buried my face in his neck, huffing him in until I felt high. Rational thought went away. There was only the rasp of his teeth on my neck, the pulse of my pussy, the intense craving for him.

“Please,” I moaned. I needed him inside me, all over me, on top of me.

He grunted, setting me down on my feet, and pulled my jeans down. The alpha pressed his face into my stomach, looking up at me with dark eyes, his pupils blown wide.

Warning bells went off in my brain about what his pupils being that dilated meant but I was too far gone. Not when he was sliding my panties down, the cool air hitting my pussy until I whimpered again.

He dragged his tongue down my stomach, nipping and licking until he pressed his face between my legs, and I went weak.

“Oh god, alpha.”

He shifted so I could rest a leg on his shoulder, and then he plunged his tongue inside me, and I saw stars. I keened, pushing down against him, a creature of want and need.

Alejandro licked up my folds and then groaned, the sound making me whine. He pushed a finger inside me, and it felt so good my eyes rolled back. I grabbed the shelf, feeling the napkins shift. I didn’t care. Alejandro slowly stroked his fingers inside me, and I gasped. His licked a small circle around my clit, and I bucked up.

“Please, please,” I gasped. I grabbed his hand off my leg and moved it to my breast. I still had a shirt and bra on but I need his touch. He grunted, thrusting his tongue inside me at the same time he squeezed my breast almost too tight. It felt like my breast and pussy were directly connected to each other and I cried out.

The orgasm crashed over me, wrecking my thoughts until I was mindlessly gyrating over and over. Alejandro kept fucking me with his tongue, the fantasy of him making me food and then eating me out sending me over the edge again.

The alpha kept working me over, his hands and tongue ravenous until I had to push him back. “Give me a second.”

He grunted, nipping my thigh and sending a fresh wave of heat over me. He rubbed his face along my leg, scenting my thigh, hands roaming over me. I shuddered, and he stood up, his pupils still eclipsing the irises, and everything in my body clenched, aching to have him inside me.

“Omega,” he growled, pinning me against the wall again.

Oh, fuck, it was hot. He was out of his mind…I froze. “Alejandro? Honey?”

He swiveled his hips against mine, with pure alpha dominance, like I was his and we both knew it.

“Mine,” he growled, and nipped my neck.

Sweet magnolia muffins, he was in a rut. Or about to be.

I couldn’t rut him in the supply closet. People would be here soon. Fuck.

I cupped his face in my hands. “Alejandro, alpha. I want my nest.”

He looked around like he could make my nest materialize on pure will. He covered me with his body protectively, and it was so sweet I had to smile.

“Take me back to my cottage.” I pulled my pants back up. He growled at that, but I pouted. “I don’t want the entire world to see me naked.”

He seemed to consider that and then dragged me out of the supply closet.

“Let me drive,” I said, leading him out of the back room.

Damn it, Sunshine was going to kill me. I sent her a quick text that I was stealing her alpha’s sous chef for the day, and this was their fault so don’t fuss at me.

I climbed into the car, and Alejandro’s scent saturated everything. Oh, God, I wanted to climb into the passenger seat and take him.

He purred at the scent of my perfume and tried to pull me toward him.

“Nest, alpha.” I put the need in my voice. Thank fuck it was a short drive to the cottage.

He grumbled but let me stay in the driver’s seat. I started the car, pulling out of the parking lot. We needed to get back. Quickly.

Where West was. Double fuck. This was not how I’d planned on them meeting each other. I was hoping more like when you brought two dogs into someone else’s yard so they could sniff each other in a neutral territory.

I called my omega partner, wondering how mad he was going to be. Or, worse, uncomfortable.

He picked up on the second ring. “That was short. I expected you at the restaurant all morning.”

“About that…” I paused.

Alejandro was curled in the passenger seat toward me, stroking my leg and glaring at the cars passing us.

“I, uhhh, accidentally set off a rut. Alejandro’s hanging on by the thread of me not wanting to get knotted in the supply closet.”

Alejandro growled; whether because I mentioned knotting or because I mentioned being uncomfortable, I wasn’t sure. Fresh wetness poured out of my pussy at the sound of the throaty noise and I wondered how bad it would be to just pull over and let him fuck me in the back seat.

Silence on the other end.

West. West’s comfort. “I’m so sorry. You can leave? Hang back? Join in? I don’t know. I didn’t mean for you two to meet like this.”

West started laughing. “It’s fine, my love. Only you could set off a rut so quickly. I want to stay unless you want him all to yourself.”

“Oh, yes, stay. We’ll tag-team him.”

The drive wasn’t that long but I was so hot by the end of it I was ready to say fuck it and make West meet us by the side of the road.

I pulled in, put the car in park, and dragged Alejandro inside.

He pulled up short when he saw West.

West was standing in the middle of the living room with his arms crossed over his chest. My omega had amazing biceps, and I wandered closer to lick them.

West smelled like milk and honey, the scent sweet. He was aroused too, even if he was scowling hard enough to turn someone to stone.

Alejandro eyed him, blinking rapidly. “West?” he said, his voice a rasp. It had to have been difficult to pull his thoughts together enough to use actual words.

“Yes,” West said, dropping his arms.

“Omega,” Alejandro purred, his eyes glazing over again. “Mine.”

West’s nostrils flared, scenting Alejandro. He swallowed hard, his body shifting.

Alejandro stepped forward slowly, like West would spook. I was pleased to see him eying West as though he wanted to strip him too. He paused half a foot away when West tensed.

I waited to see if Alejandro would come over all bossy, yanking West into a kiss. And if West would be okay with that.

Alejandro kept eyeing him, looking around almost frantically.

The alpha took another step forward and West tensed again. I saw the moment his body language shifted from desire to bordering on discomfort.

Alejandro must have seen that too, because he gave a soothing purr.

And then he knelt down.

West’s scent exploded, almonds bursting out of the milk and honey. Heat rippled through me, and I stifled a whimper.

Alejandro slowly brought his hands up to West’s thighs, still purring. “Omega,” he rasped, a prayer or a plea. Like West was a dark god, and Alejandro a supplicant.

The power of it rushed through me, and West relaxed more, his scent blooming more than I’d scented in a long time. Certainly not with an alpha.

Alejandro held West’s gaze and ran his hands up his thighs, and West made a small, strangled noise that sounded so much louder in the hushed quiet of the room.

Slowly Alejandro stroked his hands over West’s stomach. He leaned forward, lifting his shirt to reveal a small slice of skin. West watched him, unable to take his gaze off Alejandro. Seeing them together made my own perfume bloom, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted both of them touching me at the same time, or if I just wanted to watch. Both thoughts made me clench with need. This was better than any fantasy I could have imagined.

Alejandro licked the exposed bit of skin, and West let out a ragged breath. Slowly, slowly, Alejandro licked his way over West’s stomach. My omega did so well, holding himself rigidly, still scowling, debating if the supplicant would become a sacrifice or accepted.

I wasn’t sure myself.

Chapter 14

West

An alpha knelt at my feet, and I thought I would come in my pants right there.

Alejandro looked up at me with liquid brown eyes, the moment dragging out so I could see his long lashes, his plush mouth. My cock jumped at having him so close, and my balls ached. I wanted him more than I’d wanted an alpha in years.

Alejandro seemed out of his mind, but instead of the fury of fucking like I’d braced myself for, he was anything but. Controlled. Calm.

I hadn’t needed an alpha like this in a long time and it scared me.

Alejandro’s breath slipped over my skin, and now I was sure he was going slow on purpose. He knew how aroused I was, but he was dragging it out. Not for his pleasure, considering our positions.

Therefore, it was my pleasure he was heightening. He could have gone straight to fucking and I’d have let it happen, but this? He made me crave him. No wonder Ember came back from her visit with him ready to climb me.

I looked up at my omega, almost helpless. Her hair was mussed and her blue eyes wide. She smelled like arousal, but only her own. Alejandro hadn’t come yet, and his control was that much more admirable.

He inched my jeans off my hips, the friction of denim against my cock making me shudder. I rolled my hips forward, and the look of satisfaction on the alpha’s face made me pause. I’d make him work harder for my pleasure than that.

He got my jeans and boxers all the way down to my ankles. I stepped out of them and pulled my shirt off. My cock jutted from my body, leaking precum, and the twin looks of lust on Ember’s and Alejandro’s faces stroked my ego.

“Omega,” Alejandro purred, the sound making me hot and soothed at the same time. Instincts I worked daily to ignore roared to life.

The alpha licked slowly up my ankles. It was slow exquisite torture, and I loved it. Loved every second of his seduction. My cock grew harder, and when Alejandro’s mouth reached the inside of my thigh without touching my cock, I let out a whine.

The alpha froze and then pulled the tip of my cock into his mouth.

I let out a guttural shout, thrusting forward. He swallowed me whole, and all my careful control exploded like a bullet breaking glass. I surged forward, thrusting inside him with unholy need. His mouth was hot and warm, and he groaned, swallowing me down, his hands gripping my ass.

I pulled out and Alejandro sucked me all the way down again, not giving himself time to breathe. The suction of him was enough to make my balls tighten, and then he pulled off me to swirl his tongue around the head of my cock.

My hips jerked again as he swallowed me down. It was obscenely sexy watching him suck me off, his brown eyes almost black, his eyelashes thick and heavy. Tropical citrus flooded the room, a fruit I couldn’t name, along with something green and coconutty. It was enough to make my mouth water, and I wanted to put my mouth on his cock. Again, for the first time in a long time.

I was coming too soon, much too soon, I didn’t want it to stop. But I arched my back, shooting into his mouth. “Alpha, oh, fuck, alpha.”

He didn’t stop sucking me until he’d swallowed every last bit. I kept my hand braced on his shoulders, shaking and weak.

“Nest?” Ember asked, coming close but not touching me. She knew me well enough to know I was close to being overstimulated.

I nodded, and Alejandro grunted, stood up, and attempted to herd us to the nest. That he didn’t know the location of. It was endearing. Ember opened the door that led to the bedroom, and then the nest, and I gestured at her. “Strip, honey.”

We stripped Alejandro quickly and entered the nest naked. The soft glow of the white walls soothed me.

It was a small nest, but we both liked tight spaces. Ember had rearranged the nest a few times. It was wall-to-wall pillows in blue, cream, and green, with a variety of textures. We had half a dozen throw blankets, and the floor was a thick mattress. Ember’s Squishmallows lined one of the walls, a variety of colors and animals. A cozy light, soft enough to see but not too bright, lit the nest.

Ember crawled in, lying on her back, and Alejandro crawled over her, kissing her deeply, like he would consume her. She moaned against him, lifting her hips up.

“She wants your knot, alpha,” I said, opening a hidden compartment and pulling out some lube.

Alejandro groaned, rubbing the head of his dick against her. He was good-sized, thick but not too thick, long but not too long. The goldilocks of dicks. Ember’s breasts heaved with her breaths, and her face looked glazed when she gave in to ecstasy.

My own cock jumped at the sight of them. “Go on,” I said, my voice husky. “Slide inside her, alpha.”

Both gave me identical looks of lust and Alejandro slid slowly inside her. I lay on my side next to her, cupping her breast as she arched into him. “Alejandro,” she whimpered. “Please.”

I nibbled her neck, telling her to take that alpha’s cock like a good girl, and she writhed against him.

Lemon and vanilla cake filled the nest, my honey and milk making it sweeter. Alejandro’s tropical scent added to make it like a decadent dessert. I licked his neck, the salt on his tanned skin perfect. He tilted his head and kissed me, the taste of Ember and me on his mouth. He plunged his tongue inside me and I couldn’t get enough, not with the rocking motion he and Ember made against me.

My cock ached, and I started rubbing myself against Ember’s thigh. I had to be patient. I liked watching, and maybe I could take Ember’s ass when Alejandro fucked her.

Alejandro pulled away from the kiss, nipping my neck. “Fuck me, omega.”

Hot desire lanced through me. I usually had to ask permission to top an alpha, and they acted like they were doing me a big fucking favor.

“Oh god, yes, West, fuck him while he fucks me,” Ember panted.

“You’re sure?” I sat up, running my hand over Alejandro’s back. God, I wanted to slide my dick inside him and watch Ember bounce as I did. Fuck her through him. Almonds burst out of my scent again.

Alejandro growled and shifted his body so his legs spread out more, giving me better access. “Fuck me.”

I scooted up, grabbing the lube and dripping it over Alejandro’s ass. I pulled a condom on, my cock hard enough to cut diamonds, and worked my hands over his rounded butt, giving him a little slap. Briefly I pictured tying him up, trussing him up for me and Ember to tease.

Later. That would have to be much later.

I slid my hands around, feeling Ember’s slick as she squealed when I rubbed her clit. She was so wet, more than enough for Alejandro’s cock. He was still moving slowly in and out of her, each thrust seating himself fully until he pulled out almost all the way.

Ember bucked her hips. “Please, alpha, please.”

Alejandro’s scent grew stronger. I positioned myself over him, fitting my cock against the curve of his ass. Alejandro groaned, pushing back into me before pushing into Ember again.

I couldn’t wait anymore. I poured lube between us, using my cock to rub it all over him. I wanted him, wanted to sink into him. I worked the tip in, and he was tight, so tight. I waited for him to pull out of Ember and impale himself on my cock, slowly.

Back and forth, over and over. I teased the tip, letting him feel the pressure of me until he was moaning and grunting. It was harder for the alpha to edge Ember when I had him on his own hook. I pressed against him, pushing him deeper into Ember, and made it past the tight ring of muscle.

I moaned into his neck, breathing in the sweet citrus and palm leaf scent over and over, mingling with Ember’s lemons and cream.

Alejandro panted, ragged, and started thrusting harder, trying to find his own friction. I notched my hips against his, holding the three of us tight and fucking him deeply. The movement made Ember whine, and everything went white, my body meant for nothing more than the pleasure of my omega and alpha. Ember’s orgasm burst over us, her cries sweet music as I kept going.

Alejandro’s rut snapped hard over him, and he started thrusting into her, dragging me down with him. I fucked him over and over, feeling him come and knot my omega. I was free to keep fucking him, and I did, rubbing Ember’s clit in the progress, keeping them in a burning frenzy.

When Alejandro’s knot deflated enough, he reached for me and started to push me down. I froze, saying no, and he stopped immediately.

He rolled onto his back immediately, like he expected me to top him again.

Ember watched, her face flushed.

I nudged the alpha. “Let’s both take her.”

He growled in response, and her perfume flowered again.

I gave my omega a wicked grin and rolled her to her side. “Is this what you were hoping for?”

“Oh god, yes.”

We hadn’t been this compatible with an alpha in years, if ever, and if this didn’t work out, I had to consider that we might not ever find an alpha. I pushed the thought away.

I nipped Ember’s shoulder and focused back on the brain-melting sex.

Chapter 15

Ember

West curled up behind me, and Alejandro’s cock rubbed up against my entrance again. Desire was a heady cloud inside me. I wanted both of them, at the same time. Wrecking me. West looked pleased out of his mind, for the first time in a long time. He hardly ever got to top an alpha, and the experience was making him extra horny.

Which was working out super great for me.

I lifted my leg around Alejandro’s waist, dragging him closer. West ran his hands down my hips, giving me soft kisses on the shoulder.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said.

Alejandro made a rumbling purr, agreeing.

“We’re going to take you over and over,” West said, his voice turning husky. He grabbed the bottle of lube, pouring some on his hands. He’d switched out condoms, and I was already aching for both of them. Wetness seeped out of me, and I wanted to be fucked and knotted. Again.

West slid the tip of his cock against my ass, and I whimpered. Alejandro let West set the pace, rocking me against his cock. West pushed me forward, rolling me so I was on Alejandro’s chest more. I rubbed my face on the alpha’s pecs, the tropical citrus almost strawberry scent making me dizzy with need. I scent marked him as West pressed the tip of his cock into my ass.

He waited, letting me relax. I wiggled my hips, wanting him to move faster than he was.

He huffed a laugh and then slid the rest of the way inside. I gasped as his hand snaked between us and cupped my breast. Idly he played with my nipple, like he didn’t know how wet it made me.

I whimpered again, and Alejandro slid inside me slowly. He watched my face and then West’s, his cock stretching me. West didn’t move, just let the alpha push all the way inside.

I panted like I’d run a marathon and pulled on Alejandro’s shoulder. “Alpha,” I whined. “Fuck me.”

He purred into my neck, moving slowly. He caressed down my arms, his hands not even pausing on the raised bumps of the scars covering my arms, shoulders, and part of my back.

Before I could get self-conscious, West timed his thrusts opposite of Alejandro, so I was always full. I shifted against Alejandro, but West moved harder, pushing me up against the alpha. West’s hand slid down to my clit, rubbing as hard as he was thrusting, holding my hip down so I couldn’t shift away.

It unraveled me; pleasure exploded inside. Alejandro bit down on my shoulder, not hard enough to bond, but enough to mark, and fucked his knot inside me hard enough to set off another orgasm. Waves of bliss hit me, and I collapsed in a boneless heap.

My brain hit the stupid button. Alejandro knotted me, pushing against my body, making me feel full. West had come when I did, and he kept himself wedged inside me.

Alejandro purred, stroking his hand down my arm and then West’s arm, but kept his eyes shut.

“You okay?” I asked West hoarsely.

“Great.”

I looked over my shoulder, and my omega smiled at me. He looked blissed out, his hair messed up and the scowl replaced with a sappy grin.

I gave him my own smile. We both looked at Alejandro, asleep and purring.

“Next time, I want to watch him knot you from behind while you suck my cock,” West said pleasantly, like he didn’t ignite lust inside me with the image.

But it was a good sign if he was still having filthy fantasies. I’d worried Alejandro made him uncomfortable when he tried to top him.

West pulled a blanket over the three of us, and I fell asleep knotted, stuffed, and more sated than I’d been in forever.

Chapter 16

Alejandro

Last night came back to me in snatches. I was pleasantly sore, I lay on something softer than a cloud, and I had two warm bodies curled up next to me.

Yesterday I was doing inventory at the restaurant and then I was eating Ember out like it was my last meal.

After that, things switched to need. I needed her, needed all of her. She asked for her nest, and then I scented my other omega, but he looked at me with fear, and I almost left to hunt down whoever had put that look on his face.

But I had to woo him. I hadn’t courted either of them enough, but my alpha instincts were demanding I make them mine, that I pleasure them over and over until they knew the truth too, that they were mine to protect and pleasure.

Ember shifted next to me, squeaking and stretching, and I remembered.

I’d gone into a rut. I opened my eyes, seeing soft white-padded walls and a low, low ceiling. West lay next to me, not quite touching, his hair a mess but still in its braid.

Ember beamed. “Welcome back to the world of the front brain.”

I rubbed my face. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” I swore in Spanish. “Did I hurt either of you?” I looked between her and West. He was still giving me a side-eye, but his shoulders were relaxed. He reminded me of a feral cat I hadn’t quite tamed. I’d earned some leeway, but the trust wasn’t there.

“Nope.” Ember kept beaming like a ray of sunshine. She was so beautiful it stole my breath, and I could only look at her for a moment. She’d been so willing and pliant beneath me, the noises she made seared on my soul.

I glanced at West. And the way he’d taken me with such possessiveness. My cock got hard again at the thought. Like he was mine and he wanted to make sure my body knew it.

“Good idea,” Ember said, running her hands over my chest.

But then her stomach growled, and I raised an eyebrow. “Maybe food first?”

West was still eying me, like he wasn’t sure what to make of me. “Food sounds good.”

I crawled out of the nest first. There might be a predator. In her apartment. Yay, instincts were awesome. I froze. “Oh, damn, I left work.”

Ember wiggled behind me, and I stepped to the side. “I told Sunshine to tell Logan cover your shift.”

I rubbed my face. “I haven’t gone into a rut since I was…sixteen?”

“Really?” The redheaded omega sounded so pleased. She grabbed the white shirt I wore under my chef’s jacket and put it on. “I hope you know this is mine now.”

“Of course, carina.” The shirt did nothing to cover her shapely legs. I was not mad about that at all. “Everything I have is yours.”

I pulled my boxers on and then my pants. Ember had my shirt, and I didn’t feel like sticking my chef’s jacket on bare-chested, so I left it off.

West pulled a pair of sweatpants on and headed into the kitchen with Ember.

“I can make us breakfast?” The cottage was small, the living room one big space that led to the galley kitchen, with a small hallway leading to the bedroom and nest. It was decorated in a riot of blues, greens, creams, purples, and reds and I enjoyed the bright color. The entire place smelled heavenly, a combination of lemon, vanilla, and honey. I itched to figure out a dessert that would have both of their scents.

Ember wrinkled her nose. “I don’t think we have any breakfast stuff.”

“I could do a grocery order, and then cook?” I glanced between them. “Or leave? If you’re uncomfortable?”

“Stay,” West said immediately. Some of my tension released. The other omega was still giving me a questioning look, but he wanted me to stay.

“The whole day?” She looked so hopeful.

“Sure.” I sat down and pulled my phone out of my pants pocket. My wallet was back at the restaurant, but I had my phone at least.

I had a text from Logan. Even though I knew I couldn’t help it, I felt guilty missing work anyway. Logan’s text said I had Sunday and Monday off. I replied, thanking him and telling him I was feeling better and I’d see him tomorrow.

“I’m free today.” I looked between the omegas again. West was brewing coffee, and Ember was sliding around him, putting her hands on his shoulders to reach the sugar. They were so easy together; it was beautiful, like a well-practiced dance. I took a seat in a small table in the alcove next to the kitchen, and put a basic grocery order in.

It was clear they’d had issues with alphas in the past. Maybe lesser alphas would see their bond and feel jealous, but all I could think of was how hot it has been to be between the two of them.

My scent grew stronger, and Ember smirked. She came over to the chair and straddled my lap. “When does the grocery delivery arrive?”

My cock jumped against her nearness, and I slid my arms around her waist. “Soon? What do you two want for lunch and dinner?”

“Whatever you want to make.” She licked my bare chest. “You smell amazing. What is that fruit scent?”

“Uhhh…” It was hard to think with her mouth on me. “Guanabana. It’s like a strawberry mixed with pineapple.”

“I want that.” She looked over her shoulder at West, who was staring like he would devour us. “I want to eat you all up.”

I purred, rocking her in my lap and adding ingredients for lemon pound cake, almonds, and a tropical fruit smoothie.

Now that I had a little bit of their trust, I could show them I wouldn’t try to break them apart. Or turn them into something they weren’t. I looked at West again, remembering how he refused to be topped.

I knew in my bones they were my omegas. I’d court them, at whatever pace they wanted, and show them we were meant to be together.

“Are you going to spend the night?” Ember looked hopeful.

I glanced between them. “I’d love to. I should get my car today, though, so I don’t have to wake either of you up at oh god o’clock.”

Ember gave West an innocent look. “Do you want to go while I shower?”

I growled at the idea of her showering my scent off and she kissed my cheek. “You can put it back, alpha, and I don’t use scent cancelers.”

“That’s fine.” West tilted his head. “Let’s go.”

The quick change in plans made me reconfigure how the day would go, but I liked being kept on my toes. West handed me a T-shirt that smelled like him and a little bit like Ember. “We can swing by your place and pick up some clothes too.”

“Yes please!” Ember shouted from the other room. “This white T-shirt has an itchy collar.”

I smirked at West. “Guess I’d better step up my clothing.”

“If you want us stealing your clothes, you will.” West put a shirt on, his back flexing, and I noticed thin white scars in irregular lines.

I’d noted Ember’s scars without slowing down last night. Now was definitely not the time or place to ask. If ever.

West led me to his car and gestured at the passenger side. That was fine; I could be a passenger princess.

“So you’re a computer programmer?” I asked as soon as West pulled out of the driveway.

“You don’t have to do that.” West kept his eyes on the road, and his stone-faced expression was back, one that let nothing in and nothing out. He’d brushed his hair and put it back into a braid and I wished I’d had the presence of mind to play with his hair last night. His shoulders weren’t tensed, so I didn’t think he was uncomfortable.

“Do what?”

“Do the ‘getting to know you’ thing. We had sex, it was amazing, and you smell good. That’s good enough for me.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to that. His entire face was closed off. I knew I’d have to show him I wasn’t going to fuck around with him and Ember, but words were cheap. Actions would take time. “Okay.” I looked him over, remembering how good it felt to take his cock into my mouth. “Am I allowed to be nosy, though? Because I can barely get my email to open and you’re out here programming entire…programs…to do…stuff.”

Amusement flashed over his face, there and gone. “It’s actually not that hard. Just a lot of math equations.”

“Yeah, you lost me there, mi corazon.” I chuckled. “Math wasn’t my best subject in school.”

“Don’t you need math to cook?” He sounded incredulous, but warmth colored his tone that wasn’t there before.

“Sure, but measuring cups spell it out for me.” It was a gross oversimplification of cooking, but I got West to roll his eyes.

“Where do you live? We’ll swing by there first.”

My alpha instincts preened that he wanted to know where I lived, that I was going to bring him into my apartment.

West could have easily dropped me off at the restaurant and made me stop at my apartment on the way back to their cottage, but he didn’t.

My apartment building was near the coast, but no ocean view. I hadn’t bothered to go all out with my living space, considering I spent more time at work than I did at home.

I had a ground-floor apartment and unlocked the door. I was only a little bit taller than West, and his shoulder brushed mine as he went in.

“Pretty basic,” I said, gesturing around. “Mi casa es su casa, omega amour.”

I had a nice couch with a decent TV and a gaming setup. My kitchen was filled with all sorts of state-of-the-art equipment, though, because I had to be able to hold my head high, and I couldn’t stand cooking with shitty knives.

West glanced around, not hiding at all that he was checking everything out. “I expected more of a bachelor pad. Sexy single alpha with a fancy chef job? You could have a different couple every night.”

I headed down the short hallway to the bedroom. West followed me and I grabbed a duffel bag. I picked out clothing for work and relaxing. “I did when I was younger. Kinda got old, and my work hours don’t help.”

“How old are you?” West leaned against the doorframe.

“Thirty.” I grabbed my softest T-shirts in case they became fodder for the omega nest. “Why, how old are you and Ember?”

“She’s twenty-four and I’m twenty-six.”

“So I’m old enough to be experienced.” I winked. “But not quite robbing the cradle.”

“Nope.” West stalked into my bedroom. His scent was soft today, warm milk and sweet honey. It was delicate, like a French pastry. The almond undertone felt like a dream, and I wondered what sort of teasing I’d have to do in order to make it come out.

“Last night,” West started.

“Yeah?” I kept putting clothes into my duffel bag, not wanting to spook him. “I hope I didn’t upset you, being in a rut.” Heat flushed my face. I hadn’t lost control like that in years.

“We liked it. I mean about being topped.”

It took me a minute to catch up. “When I tried to climb you like a tree? I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

He shook his head impatiently. “No. I mean, I don’t want you to top me, but I’m fine telling you no.”

The thought was sexier than I’d thought. I let out a little purr. “I like it when you tell me no.”

The omega let amusement crack his expression for two seconds. “Point is, that’s not changing.” His face got serious again, like he was carved from stone. “I am never going to let you top me, and I very much doubt I’ll want to be knotted.”

“Good to know. Any other boundaries you’d feel comfortable sharing?” I straightened up. “I’ll ask Ember about her boundaries, when we get back, so I’m not asking in the heat of the moment.”

He frowned. “I’m serious. I’m not going to change my mind in the heat of the moment and beg for your knot.”

I tried to figure out what was going through his mind. West acted like he was breaking bad news to me, like I had a terminal disease and not just stating his sexual preferences. But I didn’t know him well enough to guess. Something I’d have to change.

If he gave me the time to change it.

I nodded. “I’m okay with that.”

He snorted, derision on his face. “All alphas want to knot omegas. You’ll have Ember for that, at least.”

It felt like the conversation was on thin ice, and I was skating close to the end. Some brittle edges poked through, and West sounded like he was talking from bitter disappointment.

“If Ember wants me to knot her, I’ll be happy to,” I said carefully. “But my role isn’t to use you or her for my sexual pleasure. My role is to make sure you two are happy, however that happens. If knotting wouldn’t make you happy, I don’t want to knot you.”

He watched me like I was telling the biggest lie of the century. Maybe it sounded like a lie to him. All the media ever talked about was alphas knotting omegas. Everyone acted like that was the be-all, end-all of sex.

“Last night, we figured out we can have amazing, mind-blowing sex without knotting.”

He swallowed hard and gave a sharp nod. “I was shocked you listened even in a rut.”

I shoved another shirt into the bag, if only to prolong the conversation. “Ruts are pure instinct. My instinct isn’t to dominate you or Ember. It’s to pleasure you as much as I can, however that happens.”

“Okay.” West’s shoulders relaxed. It felt like I’d managed to skate over to ice that was thicker.

“Anything you want to bring from your kitchen? I’m not sure what Ember and I have to cook with. We weren’t kidding about cold cereal for dinner.”

“Mi amour, amour.” I clutched my chest. “You’re killing me. If you don’t feel like it’s presumptive, I’ll bring some stuff.” Like the good cooking knives.

“Have at it.” West gestured at the kitchen.

I grabbed a few essential tools, and we headed over to the restaurant. West was still reserved but he no longer seemed like he was waiting for a shoe to drop.

We got my car, and I followed him back to the cottage. Ember jumped on both of us when we walked through the door, and we spent the day snuggling on the couch, eating, having amazing sex, and watching nature documentaries.

It was heaven. I wasn’t sure what I did to hit the jackpot, but I would do everything I could to make sure I didn’t screw it up.

I wasn’t sure I’d be able to leave them alone if I fucked it up somehow. They were mine. My alpha instincts knew it.

Chapter 17

Ember

Sitting in my office, I stared at my computer and willed it to behave.

It had been an amazing week. Alejandro spent the night, even though he offered to give us space. But I usually came home around five or six; West usually made it around six, and Alejandro around seven or eight. So I still had time with just West.

I’d asked my omega a couple of times how he was doing, and he replied the same way each time. The sex was mind-blowing, and he didn’t mind Alejandro hanging around.

Which was West speak for he wanted the alpha around as much as I did. Alejandro was easy to get along with, and most of the time we snuggled on the couch and watched movies.

Maybe, a tiny voice in my brain whispered. Maybe we could keep him.

I squashed the voice. It was too soon to tell. West and I dated an alpha named Josh three years ago, and it had started out great. He was charming, fun-loving, and not pushy. Didn’t seem to care at first that West didn’t want to be knotted, that I could go top or bottom, or that we were both passionate about our jobs.

It wasn’t until a few months later that Josh’s suggestions got louder about us staying home so he could take care of us. Josh assumed West would beg for a knot during our heat, or that I’d want to quit my job and be the good little omega homemaker.

I’d thought Josh would work out too. I really liked Alejandro, but it would be safer for me to keep my expectations on the ground, firmly level, where they belonged.

The feeling of being on a limb stayed with me, but I wondered if maybe the branch was a little stronger than I’d realized.

My brother Terran poked his head into my office. “Got a minute?”

“Sure.” I gestured at my armchair. I’d spent more time on the couch than at my desk. It was more comfortable than my chair. It had nothing to do with the couch still smelling faintly of Ben and Rian.

Nope. I was already on a limb. I wasn’t about to leap off without a parachute.

Terran took a seat. He wore shorts despite the chilly weather, and a thin long-sleeved shirt. He had dirt smudged on his cheek, so he was probably wandering around doing yardwork. No wonder he looked so happy.

I gestured at the plate of food in front of me. “Hungry?”

Alejandro was not playing around with food now that West and I gave him free rein, so he prepped breakfast, lunch, dinner, and some desserts.

I’d had an actual breakfast every day, not just a cup of coffee, and this week we had chicken salad with a strawberry vinaigrette for lunch.

“The software is still having issues.” Terran stole some fruit and cheese from the charcuterie board Alejandro made me for snacks. He called it my good girl charcuterie board since I liked snacks more than meals.

My stomach tightened. This was why I didn’t like heavy meals. I hardly ever had panic attacks anymore, but they used to happen several times a week. Tension made my stomach upset and it was hard to eat.

“I don’t know what’s happening.” I took a long sip of my Coke, willing the sugar to make everything better. “I’ve started checking it daily, and sometimes it’s fine and sometimes there’s all sorts of bugs.”

“Me too.” Terran sighed and ran his hand through his sandy blonde hair. It was getting a little shaggy around his ears, and he’d cut it soon.

He was muscular from his handyman work around the property as well as the weights he liked to lift. My brother was a beefcake cinnamon roll who got hit on as much as I did when we went out.

Terran was partially why I didn’t buy Greg’s whining that the reason no one wanted to date him was that he was a beta.

Sure, plenty of alpha and omega assholes thought they couldn’t get by with only betas, but it was also about personality and how you took care of people.

Like Alejandro. West and I wouldn’t have kept him around if he acted for one second like we owed him our bodies just because he had a knot.

I shut my brain down, not wanting to think about knotting in front of my brother.

“We might have to pause some functions for maintenance,” Terran said, looking grim.

I groaned. “What if people are chatting? In the process of signing up?”

“We can section it off, do updates at different times of day.” Terran added some candied pecans to his pile of food. “This is good. I’m glad you’re finally eating.”

I almost said the food was from the alpha West and I were toying with, but that didn’t feel right. We weren’t toying with Alejandro, not like I usually meant. It wasn’t just epic sex and then see you later, thanks for all the knots. “Dating a chef has it perks.”

“You too?” Terran raised his eyebrow. “Geez, I guess I should head down to Talk of the Town, see if my bondmate’s been there the entire time.”

“I didn’t say bondmate,” I corrected quickly. “Cart before the horse.”

“Sunshine bonded Logan,” Terran pointed out. “And now you’re dating that chef who’s been flirting with you for months.”

“He wasn’t flirting. He was…” I trailed off at the incredulous look on Terran’s face. “Okay, fine, he was flirting and it paid off.” I waved my hand. “Anyway, back to work. Site maintenance shouldn’t be too horrible. And I don’t see another choice short of taking the website down.”

I shuddered at the thought. Years ago, we could have effectively hit pause on the website and rebuilt the code we needed. But that was years and many, many profiles ago. The Cosmic Bonds website was massive on the back end. We had thousands of lines of code for the matching software, for the chatting app, for the New Age information section.

“I’ll ask West to help,” I said, knowing he’d say yes. He was already helping me scan the code; what was one more project? Besides, us coding together usually led to naked times, so it was almost a Pavlovian response at this point.

“Let me know how you want to set it up.” Terran stood up, stealing some more grapes.

I pushed the tray at him. “You can take more. I have, like, ten other snacks packed in my lunch box.”

Terran laughed. “Of course you do. I’m meeting Abby later for lunch and don’t want to ruin my appetite.”

“Sure you are.” I winked. “And how is Abby?”

Abby was Terran’s beta friend. She was in art school, and they’d been friends for years. The rest of us had a betting pool on when they would finally stop pretending they didn’t want to jump each other’s bones. I had August of this year, figuring Terran would catch wind of our cousins getting all packed up and want that for himself.

“Abby’s fine,” Terran said, sounding annoyed. “I’ll see you later.”

“Byyyyyyeeee.” I drew the word out until he left and then scowled at my laptop.

Just as I got focused on the lines of code again, Stella opened my door with a smirk. She looked entirely too pleased with herself. “Hi, cuz. How are you? Busy?”

Immediately suspicious, I gestured at the laptop. “Just trying to fix the software issues before we have to nuke it back to the Stone Age. Why?”

“Great, because you have a visitor.” She gave me an innocent look, but my cousin didn’t have an innocent bone in her body. She was half the reason I got into trouble as a teenager.

“Who?” My heart flipped and I couldn’t figure out who I was hoping popped in to see me. West? Stella wouldn’t look so smug. West was a done deal. I licked him, and he was mine, forever. Alejandro maybe?

“That client from before? Ben?” Stella tucked some brown hair behind her ear, casually, like she wasn’t wrecking my entire peace of mind. “Just dropped by to see you.”

My heart did a stupid little pitter-patter. “Maybe there’s issues with their profiles.”

He wasn’t here to see me. He was a client, and that was why he’d stopped by. Rian would scowl at me for the software fuckup and I couldn’t even blame the grumpy omega.

I would probably have to admit the software was being stupid lately and that was why it was trying to match him with a duck. How did a duck get into the profiles? I didn’t know; sometimes code had a mind of its own.

“I’ll bring him by.” Stella left before I could tell her I was perfectly capable of going to the waiting room myself, and I realized I was sitting where Ben sat last time.

I scooted over but then stood up. I should go sit in my desk chair. He couldn’t know I was sitting on the couch because of his scent, right? Right. He didn’t know I hardly ever sat on the couch.

But my laptop, drink, paperwork, and array of snacks were all laid out on the coffee table. I didn’t have enough time to move all of it before he got here. I decided to sit down again, and my inner omega was pleased, thinking, Good, let him refresh his scent on the couch. It had been too long.

I rolled my eyes at myself. My omega was a brazen hussy, who was apparently not satisfied with getting regularly railed by an alpha and omega.

From the hall, Ben said, “Got it from here, thanks.” And then he appeared in the doorway.

I stood up again. “Did your profile try to match you with a duck?”

“A duck? No, should it?” He paused, looking yummy in a faded Vann Jeger band T-shirt and faded blue jeans.

“Not at all. Do you want to sit?” I pointed to the couch, before remembering it was a useless gesture. “Would you like to sit down?”

“Sure.” He walked over to the couch, barely using his cane. He had a good memory to know where everything was from before. I could barely remember what I ate yesterday, but he moved around the coffee table like he’d been here more than once.

He sat down with a gust of scent, and I took a deep breath in. Spicy woods and deep berry. A cranberry? I didn’t know. I’d have to ask Alejandro about berry scents. I leaned forward, the urge to rub my chin all over his shoulder nearly unbearable.

Having amazing sex all week didn’t take the edge off the desire for this alpha.

It made it worse.

My omega instincts wanted to know why we weren’t getting with the program. The sexy, knotty program.

“Did your other date go okay?” I looked around like Rian was hiding behind the trash can. “Rian’s not here?”

“I was up here on business and…” He frowned, leaned forward, and growled.

It was a possessive growl and made all the hairs on my arm stand up. I barely suppressed a whimper, slick heat soaking my core.

“Who’s that?” He reached over, his hand landing on my forearm. He lifted my arm and scented me. “He’s new.”

“Alejandro,” I said, my voice breathy. “The alpha West and I are dating.”

He let go and cleared his throat. “Sorry. That was rude.”

It wasn’t rude; it was hot. I swallowed hard. “It’s okay. Surprising. He’d been flirting for months, and, uhhh…”

“Good,” he grumbled. “Better treat you two right or I’ll kick his ass.”

“Noted,” I said, and shifted my weight. I pressed my knees together, sure if I opened my legs too much my perfume would smoke out the room.

He smelled so good, the spicy woodsy scent heady. “The date with Daisy went okay?”

“Daisy? Who’s—oh, yeah.” He shrugged. “It was fine.”

“You need another match?” I almost didn’t want to offer. The thought of them dating yet another woman made me want to snarl.

“Not right now. Rian’s still looking through profiles.”

“Okay.”

“I had a business meeting up here. I wanted to stop by and see you. If you’re not busy.”

“It can wait,” I said quickly. “Are you hungry?” I gestured at the food on the coffee table. Food he couldn’t see, I was an idiot.

“Are you asking me to lunch?” He grinned, his blue eyes twinkling.

“Yes,” I said before I could think about if it was a good idea. “I mean, I have some snacks here. But if you’re in the area—wait, how are you getting back to San Francisco?”

He laughed. “A car service, unless you want to drive me?”

I suddenly wanted nothing more than to do just that. I considered my schedule. I didn’t have intakes today since I was working on the buggy software. But I could take a few hours to get lunch with Ben. The chance to do this wouldn’t come again.

He was a client. I was just being nice. Cosmic Bonds liked to go the extra mile for their clients.

“I’ll drive you,” I replied. “What do you want for lunch?”

“Lady picks. I’ll pick up the tab.” His joy was almost tangible, and his scent got a little bit lighter, like a wind was blowing in my imaginary dark woods.

The real challenge was going to be having lunch with him without getting him to knot me in the back seat of my car. Or not having dirty thoughts. I didn’t want to perfume all afternoon, not when Rian was a big question mark.

It was going to be a long drive back to San Francisco.

Chapter 18

Ben

Iwas going to die.

I didn’t know who I’d pissed off in a former life, but this was my torture. Maybe I didn’t pet enough kittens or save enough orphans from burning buildings.

Either way, Ember kept perfuming around me and gave me no sign that she wanted me to do anything about it. She laughed off any mention I made about a date.

I could pick up signals. I was blind, not dense. But I was in the area for a meeting. Okay, it was on the outskirts of San Francisco, but still. I wanted to see her.

I didn’t expect to get jealous when I scented another alpha on her. She was allowed to date whomever she chose, but I wanted to be on the list. I wanted to be one of the alphas vying for her attention, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I was going to be able to play it casual.

I’d have to work on Rian some more, make him see that just because Ember had another omega didn’t mean they wouldn’t want him.

Until then, I suffered. Ember’s lemon cake scent was strong in the car, enough that I almost rolled a window down. I also considered telling her to pull over by the side of the road so I could fuck her, but something told me that would be the wrong direction, even if she wanted me as much as I wanted her.

Something was holding her back, keeping her aloof, and I didn’t think it was only Rian’s grumpy attitude. Until I figured out what that was, I couldn’t take any steps forward.

She deserved to be courted, not just overwhelmed by sexual chemistry. Our scents being compatible was a great indication that we would do well together, but I was also old enough to know she deserved more than a fuck by the side of the road.

No matter how good it would feel.

“Where are we going?” I pulled out my phone, getting ready to pull the menu up.

“What do you like?” She fiddled with the dial. She had music playing, and the song flipped over to classic rock and roll.

I would have been a goner based on how amazing she smelled and her energetic personality, but she had excellent taste in music. I was ready for her and West to move in.

Maybe that was the next step. She wouldn’t want to move too quickly without getting her omega partner on board. Judging by his milk and honey scent on her, it wouldn’t be a problem for me, but better to reassure both omegas.

All the omegas. I frowned. Rian would need to meet him too.

“I like lots of stuff. Thai food. Italian. Chinese. Steak.” I shrugged. “I’m not picky.”

“There’s a French bistro called Pascal’s,” she said. “It’s got, like, fancy sandwiches and really good fries. Brunch food too. It’s sort of upscale but they’re not going to judge us for wearing jeans.”

“Sounds delicious.” I pulled the menu up on my phone and listened to the voice-to-text read it out loud.

“Mmm, hearing the food is making me hungry.” She shifted in her seat, and I heard cars passing by.

The music flipped to a heavy techno beat and I beamed. Her taste in music grew better and better the more I listened to her playlists. “You like EDM?”

“I wasn’t kidding when I said I liked all sorts of music.” Ember’s voice lit up like it had when we were talking about Evermore West.

“We listened to all the Evermore West albums, by the way.” I was glad my brain finally used enough juice to give me smart things to say that weren’t “how soon can you strip so we can do naked things together?”

“What do you think?” She sounded hopeful. “I’m not a snob, by the way. You don’t have to love it just because I do.”

“I do love it,” I said. “It was a really good blend of sounds. I also enjoyed how different the two albums were. Love it when a band feels free to experiment.”

“Right?” Ember shifted in her seat again, sending more sweet lemon cake my way. I adored how she never seemed to sit still. “Like Moon and Magnolias. She still sounds like herself, but each new album is her exploring more pieces.”

“Exactly.” The techno song repeated the beat, and I tapped my fingers in time. “I like EDM a lot. Those weird mixes you find on YouTube and SoundCloud where it’s just a few dubs looped over and over?” I grinned. The guilty pleasure of the EDM world. “It’s good music.”

“My biggest concern is when I find those amazing mixes, but since they’re not official, you can’t buy them.” Ember sounded like she was pouting. “What happens if they get taken down? What will I do then?”

“They will live on in your heart?” I asked with a smirk.

“I’ll die if I can’t listen to my favorite songs over and over.”

“And what are those?” I prized how much she loved music. I didn’t expect talking to her to be so easy, but it was.

“It changes based on my mood, but right now we’ve looped back into my weepy teen years. Lots of Evermore West, Burns, and some operatic metal like Shadowlore.”

“Gotta love the weepy teen years,” I said, almost giving Rian away.

Rian felt guilty whenever he met a fan, like he was personally responsible for them being sad he hadn’t made another album. I held my tongue, and we spent the rest of the drive talking about music. It was over way too fast.

“I’m going to park in the parking garage,” Ember said, sounding distracted. The same way Rian sounded when he was driving in the city. “Between you and me, I suck at parking on the street.”

“Oh, me too,” I replied. “Parallel parking is the worst.”

“You’re joking, but you’d probably do a better job than me,” Ember said. The car bumped over a little rise I associated with parking garages. The echo of the tires on pavement changed as we entered the covered building, and she parked a minute later. “It’s a short walk to Pascal’s.”

I got out of the car and snapped my cane open. I tapped in front of me, trying to figure out how close the next car was, but found empty space next to us.

Ember’s voice came closer. “I made sure you had room on your side, that no one was parked there.” She sounded uncertain, but it was a thoughtful gesture.

Something that didn’t make me feel like she questioned my ability to dress myself, but helpful.

“Thank you.” I tapped the cane around, getting a feel for her car on my left and the empty parking space to the right. The sound of the cane echoed, so we were definitely in a covered parking garage.

“I’m sorry if I ask dumb questions…” She trailed off, her voice softer.

“You can’t ask me dumb questions.” I would have moved forward, but even though she sounded like she was standing close by, I didn’t want to hit her shoe with my cane. “You already gave yourself the primer, so anything else is just…clarifying? Right?”

I couldn’t explain to her how much of a difference it made that she did some basic research. I didn’t expect sighted people to know everything about being visually impaired. Just knowing she wasn’t going to offer to pray for me or ask why I didn’t get LASIK was a relief.

“Yes,” she said, sounding a little bit more confident. “I haven’t trained how to be a sighted guide, but do you want me to? Or would using your cane be easier? I’m okay with either. I’m not ashamed of your cane or anything.”

By the end she was rushing through her words, and I laughed. “I’m going to use my cane either way, but if you want to offer your elbow, I won’t say no to the excuse to touch you.”

“Okay.” Her voice was back to sounding amused. “What should I do?”

“First you ask if the visually impaired person prefers right or left,” I said. “Hold your arm close to your body, at a right angle. It’s easier to go up and down stairs that way.”

“Do you prefer right or left?” she said, her voice taking on a lighter tone.

“Since we’re walking on the sidewalk, being on your left will be easier. I’m right-handed, but I can use my cane in either hand.”

“Okay.” I felt her hand on my forearm, and the urge to slide my hand up her body was overwhelming.

I moved my right hand down to her elbow, on her left side. I hooked my cane in my arm and touched her shoulder with my left hand. “Check our alignment, making sure I’m facing the same way you are.”

“Take your time.” Her scent got stronger, her voice husky.

I almost muttered about taking my time but restrained myself. Woo the omega, I told myself. You’re not a horny teenager anymore. You only have one chance to get this right.

The thought calmed some of my baser hormones, and I slid my hand down her arm.

It was the first time I was allowed to touch her, and I was hungry for each bit of knowledge of her body. I wanted to map her as thoroughly as I’d mapped Rian. My omega had a mole right above his left butt cheek, and I could have talked about where it was the same as any sighted person.

Her scent grew stronger, and I moved my left hand down her sleeve, seeking bare skin. Stupid winter months. If we were doing this in the spring, she wouldn’t be wearing a jacket.

I reached her wrist, and I brushed my thumb against her skin. Our sides were touching, so I felt her slight intake of breath. I moved my thumb up a little bit, puzzled when I hit a rough bump.

Maybe a scar? It was a thick band of tissue that ran into her sleeve. I started to follow it; most people’s wrists were smooth just above their hand. She flinched and stepped to the side.

“Sorry, sorry.” Her scent turned burnt in an instant and I cursed myself for being an insensitive idiot. “That was rude. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She sounded shaky. “It’s a scar. It’s not like it’s a secret.”

“I shouldn’t have touched you like that.” I wondered what sort of injury would leave behind a thick band of scar tissue on her arm. “I’m an idiot.”

“It’s okay. What do I do next?” She stepped closer to me again, so we were lined up like before, with her shoulder in line with my opposite shoulder.

I tapped my cane around a little bit, just to get her used to having it at her side.

“Now you can walk normally.”

She started moving, still hesitantly, like she was afraid she’d lose me. It was adorable, and I wanted to pull her into a hug.

I followed easily, the smooth asphalt making a pleasant clicking sound. It was windy in the car park, and car horns blared to my left, so the street was to the west.

“Should I tell you where steps and stuff are?” she asked, her voice to my right. Oh, yeah, I didn’t mind her being my sighted guide at all.

“If you want to, but I can find them okay. Usually, practicing being a sighted guide is more about you not being so distracted about warning me about things my cane can find, like steps, that you walk into obstacles yourself.”

“If I’m too worried about telling you what’s ahead to pay attention myself, it defeats the purpose.”

“Exactly right, baby.” The sound of tapping was a soothing rhythm. “Your biggest job is to tell me if there’s anything overhead I might walk into since my cane won’t touch it. But on a street, that’s not usually an issue.”

Technically, she was also supposed to let me know about changes in terrain, like going from carpet to tile; people; and other obstacles; but that usually distracted people who hadn’t done a sighted guide before. My cane let me know most of that information and it would be more seamless for her not to be suddenly worrying about everything in our path.

The other reason I chose to be on her left was random obstacles like streetlights, benches, newspaper stands, and stuff tended to closer to the edge of the street. Being on the inside allowed me worry about basic obstacles.

We started walking, and the wind picked up, hitting my face, telling me we’d left the parking garage. The sounds of people walking around us increased, snatches of conversation I tuned out.

I felt the slight incline a second before Ember said, “There’s a small step.”

“Up?” I asked, even though I already knew. I didn’t know a better way to correct her this early on. She was already self-conscious about making me feel bad.

“Oh my god, yes. Up.” She slowed her pace. I tapped with my cane, and it wasn’t big enough to be called a step, but it would have caused me to stumble if my foot hit it.

“There’s this weird uneven place where the parking garage asphalt meets the sidewalk,” she said, sounding personally annoyed that the path wasn’t perfectly flat.

I grinned. She sounded just like Rian.

We kept going down the sidewalk, my cane making a higher-pitched click. Ember took us to the edge of the sidewalk, probably trying to give us enough room to walk almost side by side. I was almost six feet tall, and my guess was she hit just above my shoulder. I already had a good idea how wide the sidewalks in San Francisco were, but it was a good thought.

“Give yourself enough room to get around obstacles, too.” I tapped my cane for emphasis. “I still use my cane when Rian’s my sighted guide, if only to stop people from walking into me.”

“They still walk into you?” She sounded disgusted.

“Oh, yeah. I could do without the cane in a lot of places, but people just keep going, thinking I’m going to get out of their way.” I chuckled. “But I will absolutely run them over.”

“Idiots,” she muttered. “We’re going to turn the corner, and then the restaurant’s halfway down the block.”

“Nice day for a stroll,” I said. It could have been warmer, and the wind wasn’t helping, but walking downtown with an omega who smelled amazing topped high on my list of things that made mediocre weather tolerable.

“Is your studio far from here?” she asked, her voice bright with interest.

“What street are we on?” I hadn’t pulled up the address when I was listening to the menu.

“Oh, sorry.” She named the street.

“The studio’s only a few blocks over.” I squeezed her elbow. “You don’t have to apologize.”

“I forget how much I take for granted.”

“Of course you do,” I replied. I liked that she offered to do a sighted guide even if she hadn’t done it before. “I take my ability to hear everything for granted. I’ve been around Hard of Hearing people and made the same assumptions.”

“Okay.” Ember sounded more confident. “I trust you to tell me if I’ve done something wrong, and I’ll watch some more YouTube videos.”

“Or you could just ask me.” I rubbed my thumb on her elbow again. “I told you before, I could be your teacher anytime.”

I was rewarded with a sharp increase of her lemon vanilla scent. I’d been craving lemon pound cake for weeks and it was all her fault.

The sound of the wind changed as we rounded the corner of the block, and the noises of the cars sounded flatter. Ember started moving toward me and stopped. “There’s a curve as we turn the city block. Do I keep going or turn us completely to the side?”

“You can self-correct, and I’ll match you.” The sound of the wind pitched differently as it curved around the block. “If there was a sharp turn, we could stop and reorient ourselves, but we don’t need to do that.”

“Will you show me how to do that later?”

“Another excuse to touch you? Absolutely.”

She laughed, and I felt her shoulders shift. I guessed she was shaking her head.

She shifted more to the left slowly, and I adjusted my pace, but the curve of the pavement under my feet told me we were going around a turn, and I was able to anticipate the curve without Ember having to nudge me.

“How do you know how much of a turn that was? I thought I’d have to, like, try not to run into you.”

I scuffed my shoes. “I know it looks like a magic trick, but it’s just being aware of how things sound around me along with how the terrain feels.”

“That’s so cool,” she said, sounding impressed. We kept walking, and it was easy to keep pace with her. I was glad she didn’t go too slow.

“How do you want me to handle the door?” Ember slowed down to a stop. “We’re going to stand off to the side so we can talk without being in the walkway.”

“Good idea. It’s a double door, I assume?”

I’d forgotten all about directions for sighted guides and doorways. I could have gone up the stairs and opened the door myself, but part of me loved that she wanted to know the right way of doing things.

Maybe it was because learning meant she expected to need to do this more than once.

I could only hope.

“Yes,” she said, some of her lemon cake scent tickling me. “Brown wooden double doors with three steps leading up.”

“Good job being precise,” I said. “Are they narrow or deep? And does the door pull or push open?”

“It pulls open. The steps are, uhhh, narrow. Not very tall.” Ember laughed. “I’m going to need to get better at directions.”

“It’s fine.” I tapped my hand on her elbow. “First, you put your hand behind your back.”

“The narrow passageway signal?” She perked up. “I saw that bit in a video.”

“That’s the one. Extended your arm back a little bit so I don’t walk on the back of your feet.”

She shifted her arm, and I kept my hand on her forearm. “I feel like I need a serving tray, like on the historical channel.” Ember giggled.

“Rian said the same thing,” I said. “Now, when we get to the door, you’re going to put your hand on the handle. I’ll slide my hand down and open the door. You’ll walk through and I’ll follow behind.”

“Can I ask, isn’t it easier to let me open the door for you?”

“We could, but then I have no idea where the door actually is. If the guide isn’t paying attention, the door might hit me. I personally prefer opening the door myself.”

“True, true. Okay we got this.”

I was speaking from personal experience. Rian was good with doors, but when I was growing up, my dad was constantly distracted with worries about things I didn’t care about, like people trying to walk through when we were entering.

I could have told Ember about the proper technique for stairs, but I was comfortable with them, and I didn’t want her to have too many new instructions at once.

“I’m going to line us up with the doorway,” Ember said. She sounded so happy, like she was out shopping, not guiding me through the city. It was nice she wasn’t acting like this was a burden. I could have worked around it, but I was glad I didn’t have to.

“Great idea.” I squeezed her wrist. “I’m ready when you are.” I kept my cane closer to my body. I’d need it for the stairs, but since we were cutting across the flow of the sidewalk traffic, I didn’t want it too wide.

Ember walked forward before jerking to a stop. “Excuse you, we’re walking here.”

She sounded so put out. I laughed. “So bossy.”

“People need to get out of the way.” She huffed, and a few more feet led us to the stairs.

“Go up the first one without you?” she asked, sounding a bit panicked. Maybe I should have given her quick instructions on stairs after all.

“Yes, I’ll follow you.” I tapped the front of the step with my cane. “I know where it is.”

It wasn’t the same as seeing, I was sure, but I’d been around steps like these, wide and narrow leading up to a restaurant, so I barely needed my cane to tell me where the next one was.

Ember went up slowly and then stopped. “I’m going to put my hand on the handle.”

“Go ahead.”

“Here, let me get that,” a stranger’s voice said to our left.

“Let me,” Ember said quickly. “I want to learn.”

The voice chuckled as I slid my hand down her arm and reached the handle. “Shouldn’t this be the other way around? Alpha holds the door for the omega?”

I opened the door, feeling the weight of the wood and inhaling the scent of freshly baked bread and something roasted.

“I’m a twenty-first century omega. I can open my own doors,” Ember said primly. “I also have an omega boyfriend that uses a toy knot on me.”

I choked a laugh. “Oh my god.”

“Thanks for getting the door, Ben.” She patted my arm and stepped into the restaurant. Scattered voices surrounded us, so I slid my cane down to the ground and tapped around. The click was soft and muted, so we were on carpet.

“Oh, he’s blind,” he alpha dudebro said behind us. “I could have gotten the door.”

“We got it,” Ember said firmly, and I loved her streak of independence. “We’ll ask for help if we need it.” She took a few more steps forward and then stopped. “Hi, two please,” she said brightly.

“Of course.” The maître d’ sounded confused. “Uh, is there a specific table you’d like to accommodate your alpha?”

“One with a beautiful view,” I piped up. I couldn’t help myself.

Ember giggled. “Yes please, one with a view.”

“Of course, right this way.”

“I’m going to do the narrow passageway thing,” Ember said, putting her hand behind her back again. I moved my hand without thinking about it. “It’s a tight fit through.”

“No problem,” I said, walking a little closer than I should. “I’ll squeeze in with you any day.”

The restaurant didn’t sound too crowded, and the voices didn’t echo on the walls. I assumed the décor was muted with lots of thick carpet. I’d ask Ember later.

“Here we go,” the maître d’ said and paused, probably wondering how I would know where to sit.

I held my hand up. “Put my hand on the back of the chair and let me know which way it’s facing.”

Ember took my hand and put it on a smooth wooden surface. “Uhh, it’s facing the table. Like, away from us.”

“I’m looking at the back of the chair?” I slid my hand forward and felt fabric on the seat. It felt like the back of the chair.

“Oh, yes, right. Sorry.”

“No sorries.” I moved to the side so I could sit down. My knees hit the table, and glasses tinkled together. “Whoops. Let’s skip the china shop next, okay, baby?”

“Tomorrow then.” Ember sounded amused, her voice coming to my left.

“Sir, we have a menu in Braille if you would like?” the maître d’ asked. He had a thick, nasally voice, and I imagined a heavyset man with a red face. I pictured what people looked like from my earlier years of being able to partially see features and never got out of the habit.

“Really? That would be great, thank you.”

“Would you two care to start with anything to drink before your server gets here?”

“Coke, please,” Ember piped up.

“I’ll have one as well,” I said.

Soft footsteps moved to my left, and I assumed the maître d’ left.

I felt around the table, seeing if they’d laid out plates ahead of the meal or not. I touched a soft tablecloth, and a water glass to my ten o’clock. A rolled bundle was silverware to my eight o’ clock.

“Thanks for talking me through that,” Ember said. “I know you could have done all that by yourself.”

I grinned. “Like I said, it was a nice excuse to touch you.”

“Hmm.” Her scent got a little stronger at that. “So you’re playing hooky from work?”

“I had a meeting,” I said defensively. “But yeah, basically. Rian’s recording all afternoon. What about you?”

A pause. “Basically. I have computer work to do but I can do it later when I get home. West can help.”

“And when do I get to meet West?” I asked, as footsteps got closer.

Sure enough, a voice came to my right. “Hello, my name is Adam and I’ll be your server for today. Here is the Braille menu.”

Then came the soft thud of something being set in front of me, and the server went into his routine about the specials of the day.

“Let me know if I can get you anything else,” Adam said. “Anything at all.”

I resisted the joke about new eyes. It was too easy.

I flipped open the menu and ran my fingertips over the lines of Braille. “I know I already looked up the menu on the way here, but I can’t pass up the chance to use a Braille menu. Must give these people props for accessibility options when I can.”

“I don’t know what I want. And I’d say we bring West lunch, since he works in San Francisco too, but he’s at home on remote work.”

“Drat,” I said. “Should have timed it better.”

“There’s always the future,” the omega said, but she didn’t sound as confident.

We placed our orders. Ember got a croque madame, a fancy French cheese and ham sandwich, and I ordered stuffed crepes with a fresh fruit salad.

“How did you get into music?” she asked and I could have reached over the table and kissed her.

This is what I was looking for when I went to Cosmic Bonds. She didn’t ignore my disability, but it wasn’t all she thought about. She asked about my job and passions.

“When I was nine, I got really into music.” I put my hand on the table, reaching for her hand before I remembered she wouldn’t know to put it in mine like Rian. “I started listening to the radio all the time, waiting for songs to come on so I could record them.”

“Record them? Why not just download them?”

“I just dated myself.” I laughed. “Back in the dark ages, my precious sweet omega, you had to wait for the radio DJ to play your song, and then you hit record on your cassette player.”

“Ohhh, so you’re old then,” Ember said, sounding awed. “I didn’t realize you were ancient.”

“Hey now.” I couldn’t stop another chuckle. “I’m thirty-five. Not that old.”

“Uh-huh, Gramps,” Ember said. “You got me by eleven years.”

I rubbed my face. “I’m not quite robbing the cradle.”

“You’re almost there,” she said brightly. “So back when you invented fire, you had to make your own mixtapes.”

“Exactly.” I took a sip of my Coke, taking the straw out. I didn’t like straws, at least the bendy kind. I could never trust them to stay in the same place. “After a few years of dealing with my mixtapes, my parents found a studio that would let me inside. It was like I found my home.”

I still remembered the incandescent feeling of walking into a studio, of being able to touch so many things. The faders, the equalizers, it was like I was always meant to be there. “I found out this was how music was made. Through recording voices, instruments, and then blending them all together. It was like magic.”

People passed our table, one of them an omega bringing the too-sweet scent of roses. The click of silverware on plates added to the audio cues of the restaurant.

Ember cleared her throat. “If I’m honest, I’m still fuzzy on what an audio engineer does outside of ‘make the song.’”

I touched the menu again, for something to do with my hands. “It’s okay. Most people don’t know either. Basically, when someone like Rian is singing or playing guitar in the studio, we record those tracks.”

“Right.” Her chair squeaked and I wondered if she fidgeted like Rian did.

The waiter came back and brought our food. After telling him, once again, we were super great, we kept talking. “An audio engineer takes those tracks and layers them together.”

“Ohhhhhhhh.” Her voice lit up with understanding. “You could do your own dubstep.”

Warmth bubbled up inside me. She was delightful, utterly delightful. “I can and do sometimes. Mostly we record artists and do some layering on their tracks. Make the song sound crisper, bring out the pitch of the singer’s voice, that sort of thing.”

Another group of people passed by the table, along with the same sickly-sweet rose scent. Ember growled.

I looked around, wondering what cue I’d missed. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Ember sounded disgruntled. “You went to college for audio engineering?”

“I did.” I strained my ears, trying to hear if someone was arguing. “I also learned to play the piano, the guitar very badly, and the theremin.”

“Ooooh, that’s the weird instrument Evermore West uses?” Ember sounded happy again. “That sort of haunting wail on ‘Echoes Afloat’ and ‘The Lantern Sea’?”

“That’s the one. I only need my hands to play it.”

“How did you—” Ember growled again, sounding possessive, and her scent got bitter.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she huffed. “I’m sitting right here, and this omega chick keeps making goo-goo eyes at you.”

Pleasure flushed over me. Not that some other omega was flirting, but that Ember sounded so possessive about it.

“It’s fine,” Ember said quickly. “She’ll get the hint.”

“Is that the rose scent?”

“Yes,” she muttered.

“Scoot your chair closer.” I gestured at myself, annoyed I didn’t check how much space was between us earlier.

“What?”

“Scoot over. It will be easier than me trying to figure out where you are.” I would get that ruffled-feathers tone out of her voice immediately.

Her bitter lemon scent moved closer with the scrape of a chair. “All right, I’m here.”

I reached out and touched her forearm. I had a decent idea where her face was, judging from the sound of her voice.

I moved my hand up her arm, feather-light, not trying to seduce but to find her in space. I scented with pleasure that the bitterness left her scent quickly, and I touched her cheek. I leaned forward, tilted her chin toward me. I went slowly so I didn’t accidentally smash into her. And also to give her a chance to tell me to back the hell off.

Soft skin and heat met my cheek, and I grazed my skin over hers. She sucked in a breath, tensing next to me, and her lemon scent bloomed.

I rubbed my cheek over hers again, making sure I really scent marked her, and then pulled away.

“Better?” My voice was husky, and it was all I could do not to find some dark room where I could scent mark her more. I’d make sure my scent was all over her, making it unmistakable that she was mine and I was hers.

“Yes,” she said, sounding pleased and confused. She picked up my hand. “Much.”

I stroked my thumb over the back of her hand. “Good.”

She scooted back, but only enough to give her room to eat, and we went back to talking about music. She talked about her family, her job, and how she enjoyed matchmaking. I tried not to pester her with questions, but it felt like every answer was another piece to anchor her closer to me, another part of the mystery.

By the end of lunch, I was determined to figure out how to make Rian more comfortable around her. Letting them circle each other like feral kittens was working, but now it was time to throw them both in a room together to show them they were compatible.

Chapter 19

Rian

It had been a long session, and my fingers ached in a good way.

“That’s a wrap,” Kinsey said, giving me a high five.

I pulled my hair out of the hair tie and shook it out, pleased with this take.

Kinsey was an up-and-coming musician who had a smoky bluesy sound similar to mine. “Thanks for the help.” He was an alpha, tall and burly with tattoos everywhere. He looked like a biker, not a soulful musician, but he was a teddy bear.

I stepped out of the recording booth into the studio for some water, and Ben was there, Ember standing to his left.

She lit up when she saw me. “Rian! You were amazing!” she squealed, her face flushed, her red hair flowing around her in waves. She smelled like sensual lemon cake, but also a tropical fruity note that hadn’t been there before, along with the woodsy scent of Ben.

I took her wrist and inhaled, the scents ricocheting off my brain until I wanted to steal her away to my nest. “You smell amazing.”

“Thanks,” she said, her lemon scent getting sweeter.

Kinsey came out of the recording booth and raised his eyebrows. “Oops, sorry, didn’t know you had a new omega.”

“She’s not.” I dropped Ember’s wrist, remembering all the reasons this wouldn’t work out. Like my own wallowing in being unable to make music. Like three omegas being too much.

I didn’t miss the look of hurt on her face, but I couldn’t do anything about it. Was she really that sure her omega partner and now this new alpha would like me? Would like Ben?

“Still, a lady friend.” Kinsey nodded at Ember. “Hi, I’m Kinsey.”

“You’re Kinsey?” Ember’s eyes got wide, and she squealed again.

Ben turned to Ember, looking amused. “You’ve heard of him? Of course you have. You’ve ferreted out all the indie bands on the Internet.”

Ember grinned at the gentle alpha. “I love ‘Blues on a River.’ And ‘Stand with Me’ gives me chills.”

“Yeah?” Kinsey looked pleasantly surprised. “Well, thank you kindly.”

Jealousy stabbed me. I wondered if she liked Burns. If she was as passionate about “From Ashes” as she was Evermore West. Or, apparently, Kinsey.

I shoved the bitter, helpless feeling away. I was hopeless.

Ember grinned at Ben and then me. “I know you didn’t let me loose in the studio to fangirl all over the musicians, though.”

“Oh, please.” Ben sat down at the fader table. “Kinsey thinks he has, like, three fans. It would do him some good.”

“What? No.” Ember’s mouth dropped. “Hell no. There’s a massive cult following on the Internet.”

Kinsey looked more and more pleased, like he couldn’t quite believe his luck.

I wanted to warn him, tell him that was the path of madness. Finding out you were suddenly famous, enough that complete strangers told you how much your music helped them, was exhilarating but terrifying.

There were many more people to disappoint. But then, Kinsey wasn’t me. Maybe he’d get over his own fears and produce more albums. The one we were working on was almost done, and Ben was sure it would be a hit. Ben was rarely wrong about those things, and I agreed.

I pulled some bottled water out of the mini fridge, and Ember sat on the faded brown leather couch. Her scent got a little bit stronger when she sat where Ben and I usually sat. And sometimes decided to fuck each other senseless when no one else was around.

Ember asked about the studio, and Ben was in his element, talking about how the different pieces of equipment worked. But then she turned her big blue eyes to me and asked about playing guitar for the album, acting like it was an amazing thing.

Pulled into her spell, lured like the fey creature she was, I talked about playing the same few chords over and over, how it was almost soothing.

The conversation switched over to indie artists and soon I was laughing.

Ember stood up to admire the extensive album collection to the left of the room. “Oooh, you have original LPs.”

“Nothing sounds like vinyl,” Ben said in his “I will be taking no argument” tone.

“Careful, you’ll date yourself,” I said, fiddling with the hair tie on my wrist. “I’m pretty sure we’re older than Ember.”

Ember smirked and it was the most adorable thing I’d ever seen. It made my heart lighter to see, like I was a dying plant needing the sun. “He already did that. He told me about making mixtapes. It was the cutest thing ever.”

“Oh, damn.” I wanted to touch her, to brand my scent on her skin too. “I guess we’re both older. I’m only five years younger than Ben.”

“Yep,” she said, sitting next to me. I suddenly wished Ben was sitting on the other side of the couch, and then our scents could really mingle. “I’m twenty-four.”

“A baby.” I turned to her, and she looked up at me like I was the moon, a light in the darkness. Her face was shining and open and I knew I’d put that look of joy on her face, somehow, by being myself.

At least, part of myself.

“I still have a better record collection than you,” she said. “I inherited my grandma’s LPs and she has some original Danny Ray.”

Excitement raced over me.

Ben nearly fell out of his chair. “Stop. No, wait, you’re serious?”

“As a heart attack,” she said, looking pleased with herself. “It holds the place of honor in my collection.”

“We need to have a listening party.” My gaze traveled over her green shirt. The fabric looked soft, and I wanted to trail my hands over it.

“At my house?” She sounded hopeful, her eyes shining brighter. “You could come over and meet West and Alejandro.”

“Is that this new alpha?” I had no idea if I wanted to deal with two new people, but I couldn’t say no anymore. Not with her scent so close and her talking about music like she needed it to breathe like we did.

“Technically he’s not new,” she said, watching my face. Probably looking for censure. “He’s been sending me food sight unseen for six months.”

“Sight unseen?” Ben cocked his head. Some of his blond hair fell in his face and I wanted to shove it out of the way.

“My cousin bonded an alpha chef last year and she brought in the most epic lunches. I would steal a bit, but then Alejandro started sending food for me. But he hadn’t met me yet, so he didn’t know I was good-looking.” She sounded uncertain and embarrassed.

I wanted to touch her cheek so badly. I could almost see myself doing it, touching the place where I scented Ben the strongest. “And that would be the only reason for someone to be nice to you? Because they thought you were hot and wanted to sleep with you?”

A look of raw vulnerability crossed her face, and she shrugged. “I mean…yeah. Hot omega sex, right? But then they meet West and decide they can’t handle more than one omega.”

“Idiots,” Ben said darkly. “Who cares about how many omegas?”

I let out a sigh. “You don’t think three omegas is pushing it?”

Some of Ember’s expression closed off, and she gave me the smile all her customers saw. “West and I have been together for eight years. If someone doesn’t like him, there’s no point.”

“I mean…” I paused, trying to articulate. “How do you share a nest? You don’t feel territorial over him being near you?”

“Do you dislike Ben in your nest? He makes me feel safe.” Ember looked away. “He’s been there for me through thick and thin. My nest smells right because he’s there.”

“Like how my nest smells good because it smells like Ben.” Something like understanding unfolded inside me. “I wouldn’t expect you to…not be with West.” I looked down at my hands. “I’m sorry. I’m garbage with words.”

“It’s fine.” Ember’s voice was still bright, but that vulnerability was gone.

I was an ass for hurting her. I wanted to be special to her, wanted her to keep looking at me like she could show me all the vulnerable pieces. I had to give a little piece of myself over if I was going to make her understand my hesitation. Why I kept pulling away.

“Two omegas,” I started. “I mean, I wouldn’t expect you two to…” I paused, feeling like I was breaking off a piece of my soul.

“To what?” Her voice still sounded so bright but closed off, and the juxtaposition killed me. “Want to be with each other?”

“Want to be with another omega,” I finished, my throat tight. “I’d be the third wheel.”

“Oh, Rian,” Ben said softly. “You would never.”

Understanding flashed over her face. “You think we’d ditch you?” She looked at Ben. “We’d never try to come between you and Ben.”

“I know that,” I said. “But at some point my moodiness will annoy you and⁠—”

Ember started laughing, like she’s bottled sunshine.

I frowned. “What?”

She shook her head. “Your moodiness is not a turnoff. Wait until you meet West. He’s got you beat in broody.”

“Really?” Ben sounded intrigued, and I laughed.

“It’s my catnip.” She put her hand on Ben’s arm. “In omegas, not alphas.”

“Of course, baby,” Ben said, amused. “Your alphas need to shower you with presents and joy.”

Ember gave me a heated look. “While my omega boys brood in the corner and pretend to be annoyed by my enthusiasm.”

“It’s not annoying,” I sighed. “It’s like flying too close to the sun.”

I sucked in a breath. Maybe I wasn’t a complete moron for thinking there was a chance.

I’d have to meet her other guys first, of course.

“Maybe we could come over,” I said. “For a listening party? You could introduce us to West and Alejandro?”

I wouldn’t know for sure if sharing Ben with another omega and now another alpha would bother me until I met them. I couldn’t promise it wouldn’t, but I could try.

“If you want to,” she said like it was a gauntlet at our feet. In a way, it was. If we didn’t like each other, then this thing, this feeling whatever it was, would be over.

“I’ll give you my number. I have work. You can come around six? West should be home around then, and Alejandro swings by around six or seven depending on how busy the restaurant is.”

“It’s a date,” I said, meaning it, wondering what the fuck I was doing, but I couldn’t turn away now. Not now she smelled like pack.

Chapter 20

Ember

Idrove back home feeling out of sorts. I’d texted West earlier in the day to let him know where I was, and when I got home, he and Alejandro were curled up on the couch next to each other.

We’d made a small nest on the couch with a pile of blankets and pillows. Alejandro had come over every night, even though he was tired, and we stayed on the couch together.

They were watching an action movie, Alejandro curled around West. It was the sweetest thing I’d ever seen, and I wished I could take a picture without freaking West out.

But West hated pictures so I refrained.

He looked up from the blanket pile. “How are you?”

“Good,” I said. I was good, but I was also tired and emotionally wrung out.

Alejandro patted the space next to him, knowing I preferred to drape myself over him. “Come on, mi carina. There’s food in the fridge for you if you want.”

I didn’t want food. I took off my shoes and climbed right under the blankets.

Both men perked up, like little meerkats out of their burrows.

“You smell amazing,” West said, sounding intrigued. “That alpha and omega bonded pair again?”

“Yes.” I buried my face in Alejandro’s chest, almost covering myself with the blankets.

Alejandro patted my shoulder. “What’s wrong? You sound upset.”

“Ember doesn’t like wanting people.” West sounded smug. The bastard.

“Look who’s talking, the pot calling the kettle black.” My delivery was thwarted by the blankets muffling me.

“I’m antisocial. There’s a difference.”

“Sure there is, mi corazon.” Alejandro patted West’s shoulder. “You smell like them. They must like you.”

I sighed, trying to unwind all my tangled feelings. I didn’t love wanting people this much when I wasn’t sure the feeling was mutual.

“Rian’s not sure he’s going to like you two. What’s the point in letting everyone meet one other if I’m not sure it’s going to work out?” I huffed. “I’m happy right now. You two make me happy.”

“I’m glad we make you happy, reina.” Alejandro kissed my temple. “But you’re also grumpy, and we’re going to pretend you haven’t been perfuming all day? For this alpha and omega pair?”

I grumbled and burrowed some more. There was no problem more blankets couldn’t fix.

“They come over tomorrow.” West made it a statement. “And then they can scent me and Alejandro. We’ll hang out, talk about music, and eat some food.”

“Some great food,” Alejandro added. “What should I make?”

“I can’t make any more decisions.”

Alejandro curled me against him. I couldn’t decide if I wanted the nest, or headphones and listen to music loudly to clear my head.

And then I remembered work. “Fuck.” I popped my head up. “I have to start sectioning off parts of the website.”

West waved me off. “Already did that. You’re caught up.”

“Thanks,” I said, feeling guilty. I reached across Alejandro to pet West’s chest. “You’re too good to me.”

“No,” West said. “You’re never this worked up.” He looked at Alejandro. “Present company excluded.”

Alejandro looked pleased. “Really? You were worked up over me?”

“I perfumed every time I saw you,” I pointed out, feeling embarrassed for no good reason. Ugh, feelings were stupid. “And I kept randomly wandering into your place of work.”

Alejandro purred, and it hit the stupid button in my brain. I relaxed against him, some of the nervous energy leaving me. It was handy having Alejandro around.

My burrowing turned into touching, and then touching turned into sweaty sexy times. West and Alejandro took turns wrecking me.

The next day the nerves returned, and it felt final somehow. I headed back to my cottage in a stew of stupid, stupid feelings. It was fine when an alpha whose scent I could take or leave acted like a jerk. I wasn’t emotionally invested then. But I was now. I’d had fun with Ben, I enjoyed the way he laughed, the way he explained things to me without making me feel like an idiot. He was funny and sexy and had amazing taste in music.

Rian’s guarded demeanor only made me want to figure out which wall to climb. I sensed the same pain and uncertainty I felt myself, in his sense of trying to cling to the world he knew.

What if the new men in my life moved in and then something terrible happened?

Like, if they decided I was too much to handle. What if I had a panic attack? I hadn’t had one in forever, but it would be harder to keep up the façade that I wasn’t a hot mess the more time I spent around them.

I pushed the thought away and let myself into the cottage early. I was distracted at work and decided to call it good. I managed to get some of the pieces sectioned off, and we were almost ready for Operation Ka-Boom!

I texted Rian to let him know they could let themselves in when they got here, thinking it would be easier for Ben to learn his way around without having to wait for me to unlock the door.

I wasn’t trying to make him more comfortable in our cottage, nope. I was just being considerate of a guest. I picked up the living room, making sure nothing was lying around that Ben could trip over, and jumped in the shower.

My nerves were shot. It was time for music therapy. I belted out Juliet Vale, the Neon Outlaws, Burns, and some Evermore West.

My favorite playlist filled me up, echoed off the tile of the shower and made it so I could dump out all the emotions I was struggling with.

Music saved me when I was a teenager, and it continued to save me, over and over, making it safe to feel.

Then I would be ready for the date that wasn’t a date.

Chapter 21

Rian

We drove to Half Moon Bay early. Ben wanted to make sure we didn’t hit rush hour traffic, and he wanted time to familiarize himself.

I didn’t hate the idea of early either. If we hit Ember’s cottage before West and Alejandro, maybe I could scent the other two before having to meet them. It was easier for me, to get used to scents before having to meet the person. I’d scented them on Ember before, but this felt different.

This felt like an audition I wasn’t certain I’d pass, and I was nervous. My palms were clammy, and the thought of things, whatever these things were exactly, not working out seemed like too much.

Like the universe dangled hope in front of me and yanked it away at the last minute.

I itched for my guitar. Maybe if I hummed a tune, I’d get myself sorted. Too late for that. I’d have to play when we got home tonight.

I could handle this. I pulled into the driveway. “It’s a cute little cottage. Sort of coastal, with white shutters and brown wood.”

Ember’s cottage was on the Cosmic Bonds grounds, but on the opposite side of where the welcome center and other public-facing buildings were.

“She said we could go on in.” I watched Ben get out of the car, and he extended his cane, hitting bits of gravel.

I wrinkled my nose. Gravel wasn’t the best surface for walking, but Ben didn’t want me to baby him.

“You’re sure?” Ben tilted his head and paused. “Smells close to the ocean.”

“Yeah, it’s just a little bit to the west.” I looked at the text again, and sure enough, Ember said the door was open, she was home, and go on in. She’d sent it about thirty minutes ago. “Yep. We’re early but so is she apparently.”

We’d originally planned on going to the beach before I got Ember’s text saying we could come over whenever. I loved the ocean this time of year, and I spent the last week cooped up in the studio.

I knocked and opened the door slowly, announcing, “Hey, Ember? It’s Rian and Ben.”

I stepped inside, listening for Ember’s voice. The door opened right into a spacious living room that smelled heavily of lemon, almonds, and some tropical citrus fruit I couldn’t place. It smelled like heaven, and I relaxed immediately.

I kept walking and stepped to the side so I wouldn’t trip up Ben. My alpha came inside and shut the door behind us.

It took me a minute to register the music I was hearing, but then I froze.

“Is that…” Ben trailed off.

I swallowed hard. “Yeah. Uhhh, she’s in the shower.”

And singing.

Goosebumps rose all along my arms and I couldn’t move. My entire body flushed, like the first time I’d heard “Stand by Me” or “Amazing Grace.”

Ember’s voice hit me over the head and took me under. I was drowning and I didn’t want to surface.

All I could think of was, I didn’t know she could sing. She never said she could sing. I wouldn’t have been so shocked.

Her voice was husky and sweet, with clear diction. She’d obviously had years of practice. Ember went out of range a few times, especially when she tried to hit the same notes as Verona, a famous soprano, but otherwise she was perfect.

I could tell by her breath sounds that she was singing too much with her throat; the sound felt tight when she wasn’t pausing for breath. But an hour or so of voice coaching tweaks and she could have had a comfortable career as the next pop star.

Her voice reverberated, and I shivered again. I found the couch, tapping Ben’s arm so he knew I was moving.

We sat and listened as she moved through Verona, Moon and Magnolias, and then Evermore West. Tears stung my eyes; the power of the song grabbed me and refused to let go.

And then the opening notes started of “Graveyard Blues,” my own song, and I almost got up to beg her to stop. I wasn’t strong enough. Ben gripped my forearm, and I made a small sound, a plea and a prayer.

Her alto matched my husky baritone perfectly. She sang with a mournful plea, like she knew exactly the despair I’d felt when I wrote it.

I could still remember penning the lines “bound to you like the earth to the moon, caught in the tides where the shadows bloom.” I’d sat in my dark room at two in the morning, as heat cramps ripped through me. I’d thought there was nothing left for me, nothing but one foot in the grave, but oh, the roses smelled so sweet.

Her voice held the long, low note, and I closed my eyes, overwhelmed. I needed to make more music so I could hear the notes twist out of her mouth. My pain was now her pain, and I wondered what happened to her, to know the depths of that pain so intimately.

The song ended, and I forgot to breathe.

The shower stopped, and I realized we probably should have told her we were here.

“Hey, Ember?” Ben sounded shaky. “We got here early, and you said to let ourselves in. So don’t come out here naked unless, you know, you want to.”

“Ben?” She sounded confused. She poked her head around the corner, her wet hair hanging over a bare shoulder.

“Yes, hi.” Ben paused. “You have an incredible singing voice.”

Ember blushed. “I, uhhh, thank you. I’m going get dressed.”

She left the room in a cloud of sweet lemon. She returned a couple of minutes later, and I still felt like my brains were scrambled.

She had a pair of soft cotton pants on and an Evermore West T-shirt that hung off one shoulder, exposing creamy bare skin.

I was toast.

It didn’t matter whether or not I liked West and Alejandro. She had to be ours. Mine. So don’t ruin this for me, I told my omega instincts.

“I didn’t know you were here.” She cleared her throat.

“We got here early so…” I trailed off. “You struggled with a couple of notes,” I started again, trying to help. “But overall…”

“I didn’t know I had an audience,” she snapped. She glared daggers at me.

Damn, I should have chosen my moment better. I held my hands up. “You’re right, yep, I just…hi.”

Ben snickered.

Some of her irritation left. “What do you guys want to drink?”

“Something smells good,” Ben said. “Well, everything smells good, but I mean something smells like dessert.”

“Oh, yeah, Alejandro is obsessed with making lemon pound cake.” Ember grinned. “Big shocker.”

“Smart man,” I said, watching her move into the kitchen. She had shapely legs, and her fabric pants clung to her body in a way I envied.

She brought us the lemon pound cake, which tasted very close to how she smelled, and it did nothing for my perfume. The room started smelling smoky and spicy between me and Ben, and I had the stupid thought that we were ruining their food scents.

Ember pulled out her boxes of LPs, along with a massive record player, and set it up on the table next to the couch. “The goods.”

She handed it to Ben so he could feel it, and then my alpha passed it to me. “It’s in amazing condition.”

“I’d like to display them, but it’s too humid.” She sighed.

“How long have you been singing?” I asked, unable to let it drop. “Why didn’t you try to have a career? Stage fright?”

Ember shrugged, flipping through her records. “I love singing and music, but I don’t have the urge to get on stage and sing to people, you know? It’s more like a way to purge feelings.”

“Yes,” I agreed. “People make it more complicated.”

“That must seem weird to you two.” Ember frowned. “You make music for a living, which is magical.”

“Not weird,” Ben said softly. “I loved hearing you sing, but I get you not wanting to perform.”

“Sometimes we go do karaoke,” she grinned. “Which isn’t fair. I know karaoke is for people who can’t carry a tune. We came to listen to Steve struggle through ‘Living on a Prayer,’ not the next American Idol.”

I laughed. “Exactly. Not you, Miss Diva.”

Ember rolled her eyes. “I haven’t had any professional training. I just like it.”

“Fair enough,” Ben said. “But feel very free to sing around us at all times.”

“Yes.” I knew what Ben meant. Hearing her sing was like seeing a part of her soul, one she kept tucked away.

“I noticed you don’t carry a guitar around.” She gave me a stink eye. “You could be playing us some tunes right now.”

I expected to feel ashamed or self-conscious, but her tone took the sting out of it. “Noted. Now pick us some music.”

Ember went through her collection, and we spent the next two hours talking about LPs and the weird winding path that music could take. Ben talked about early experiences with putting tracks together and which of the indie bands he saw go on to stardom, and Ember showed off her playlists. She squealed and talked about music with such joy I remembered my own passion.

The same love, without all the baggage I carried with me now.

Just loving music for the sake of loving it.

The sun began to set, and it felt surreal and somehow perfect to spend hours talking about something the three of us loved.

“What about Olivia Ruiz’s yellow album, Omega Don’t Cry?” I asked. We’d been stuck on albums that we loved for the last thirty minutes, working our way to omega pop stars.

“Oh, yes,” Ben said. “But ‘I’m the Only One’ is on her blue album so I can’t ignore that.”

Ember bounced again. “Omega Don’t Cry was my jam for years. I played ‘You’re Going to Go Far’ so much West knew what sort of mood I was in by the first three notes. I told him the song that hurt me didn’t hurt me enough, so I had to hear it again.”

“That’s a tough one.” I held my fist against my chest and shook my head, my hair falling into my face as I mimicked the music video that had made the omega a star almost overnight. “‘Don’t look up and don’t look back, your pack’s going to find you, you know that.’ I played that for months.”

“Oh my god,” Ember gasped. “I’m an idiot.”

She rifled through her LP collection.

“You’re not an idiot. You’re one of the most brilliant, passionate people I know,” I replied. “What?”

“Don’t move!” She held her hand up, and I froze in place.

She held a cover up triumphantly, looking between me and the LP. I didn’t have to look at the front to know that it was a limited-edition run of From Ashes we’d made on vinyl.

“You’re Burns,” she said, her voice going so high-pitched I was sure every dog in the area could hear her.

It felt inevitable. I’d expected to be grumpy or angry, like she’d found a dirty secret, but instead it was just calm acceptance. “How in the world did you figure it out? I wasn’t even singing.”

“The light.” She pointed at the dying sun, which was sending the room into shadows. “You look just like your album picture.”

She flipped it around, showing me the back photo of my face in profile, taken in the twilight.

“Rian, you’re Burns. Oh my god, how did I not see that?” Ember laughed again.

“I know,” I chuckled. “I was there.”

Ben looked pleased, amusement, light and airy, floated through our bond.

She looked between me and Ben. Her scent smelled so bright and happy it filled me up with joy too. “Is that how you two met?”

“Yes,” I said. “He totally seduced a young and impressionable⁠—”

Ben whacked my side. “Liar. He totally lured me with his hot young body and soulful sound.”

“Oh my god, you guys are so adorable together.” Ember giggled. “Why haven’t you put another album out? You know we’re all literally dying for another?”

Happiness deflated, sank like a stone. I swallowed hard. “I…uhh…”

My scent soured right away, and I fought the urge to leave the room and never, ever come back. What sort of answer could I give the sweet omega that wouldn’t sound stupid?

Because music was hard?

Because each song felt like it was ripping out of my soul, and I was bleeding too much to try?

“Sorry.” She sat down quickly. “It’s okay. You don’t have to talk about it. I should have realized it was a sensitive subject.”

She sounded like she meant it too, like it would be okay if we never mentioned it again.

“Following up From Ashes, the more time passes…the harder it feels.” I shook my head, and Ben took my hand. “I’m too much in my own head, basically.”

“That makes sense,” she said. “Our brains can be total assholes.”

I relaxed, feeling a little bit better.

“So playing guitar in the studio is nice,” she said. “You get to make music.”

“I do,” I said. “And I still try to, uhh, write songs. Now and again.”

“I don’t know how you do it.” Ember shook her head. “I love singing, but between the lyrics and the actual music part I’d be lost.”

“It sort of pops into my head,” I said slowly. Oddly, it didn’t hurt to talk about this part. “I get a snatch of lyrics or a melody, and I write it down, until the next part comes to me.”

“Like being possessed,” she said with a grin.

Ben and I laughed at the same time. “Yes, just like that.” Some of the dread left me. We were going to get through this conversation without me feeling like a colossal failure.

Ember rummaged around the side table. “It’s like intuition. I’m really good at reading tarot cards. We should totally do a group spread.”

“A group spread sounds great,” Ben muttered, and Ember’s cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink.

The door opened, and in stepped a male omega. It had to be West; he smelled like milk and honey. He wore a collared shirt and khakis, like an investment banker. He was Asian American, and had silky black hair pulled into a braid. He paused. “I thought…”

“We’re early,” Ben said quickly. “I hope that’s okay.”

“Sure.” He glanced between me and Ben, his milk and honey scent getting sweeter.

He smelled good. I stayed still, in case he was struggling with another omega in his house, but his scowl seemed more like his regular expression than something we caused.

If Alejandro smelled half as good as West did, maybe having three omegas wouldn’t be an issue.

I prayed to the gods above and below that I didn’t do anything to screw this up.

Chapter 22

West

The mystery of why Ember was all in her feelings and hormones about Ben and Rian disappeared the second I laid eyes on them.

For crying out loud, they smelled like a Scottish highland. Ben’s spicy dark woods with a sharp berry scent, merged with Rian’s amber and moss scent. Ember joked that they smelled like an Evermore West song, but my omega wasn’t actually wrong.

I put my laptop bag down on the coffee table, unsure what to do next. Ben had sandy blond hair that was tousled, and Rian had shaggy blondish brown hair that hit his shoulders.

I briefly considered sliding between the two of them, just to see what my scent would do with all those spicy earthy notes.

Ember gave me a kiss, pulling away only to rub her cheek over mine. I smiled at her. My girl was claiming me in front of them. Again. It wasn’t necessary, I knew she wouldn’t leave me for them, but it was nice to feel wanted.

Instead of being jealous, Rian looked hungry. Sweet amber grew stronger, and Ben let out a breath. “All three of you smell amazing together.”

Like Ember, I’d assumed meeting the bonded pair would result in them leaving. Ember would be sad, but I could make her feel better.

Now I understood why she was so twisted up. They smelled amazing. Better than amazing. Like the scents of home, nest, and sex all rolled together.

I was still getting used to craving Alejandro, and now here were two more men I’d have to navigate around.

My omega instincts screamed at me to scent mark both of them. Keeping a cool head would be hard with instincts I thought I’d buried rising to the surface.

I realized I was staring and headed into the kitchen. “Thirsty? Hungry? Alejandro cooked last diner.”

I didn’t miss the proprietary note in my voice when I said Alejandro’s name, but I didn’t expect to feel so possessive of him either.

I wasn’t the best at sharing. But I’d have to try.

Like I’d summoned him, Alejandro came through the door next. It was funny; his reaction was almost a repeat of when I came in. The shock, the introductions. Alejandro scented both alpha and omega, looking at me and Ember, and then his scent got stronger.

Ben wiped his brow in mock relief. “Glad you’re here. I was outnumbered.”

Alejandro gave Ben a quick grin. “Pretty sure we’re still outnumbered, alpha.”

“True, true. Whatever shall we do?” Ben cocked his head. “Ember, you’re quiet over there.”

The scents in the living room mingled until it was a heady cocktail.

Ember let out a breath. “I was watching the alpha male posturing.”

“Oh, my bad.” Ben hugged Rian. “Forgot we were supposed to do that.”

“Right, right, lo siento, mi corazón.” Alejandro gave Ember a kiss. “Posturing. Uhh, how about we eat some delicious food? I can show off my cooking skills.”

“Yes, food. Please. Let’s get something to eat.” Ember added, still eyeing the men in the room like she was mentally undressing all of us.

She probably was, planning out what position she wanted whom in first.

I wanted to make a dirty joke, but I figured the room would go off like a firecracker if I did. Instead, I helped set the table, and Alejandro unpacked dinner.

“How’s the matching process at Cosmic Bonds going?” I asked. I could put in an effort at conversation.

“Great,” Ben said, and looked at Ember. “I think the second date is proceeding nicely.”

Ember blushed. “Second date? This was more like trial by omega.”

“I think we passed?” Rian looked around, uncertainly.

The other male omega looked at me when he thought I wasn’t looking. I fantasized about making him present for me, kneeling and letting me take him. His pale skin would get red from arousal. My milk and honey scent got stronger.

Oh, I think we passed step one.

Ember rubbed her face on my shoulder. “I don’t know what happens next. Usually West and I fuck the alpha’s brains out, he does something stupid, and then we make him leave.”

“Stupid like…” Ben paused. “I’d like a list.”

Ember scowled. “Like acting like we’re just here for them to knot. Like we can’t do anything for ourselves. Telling us to quit our jobs.”

“Ah, so stupid alpha antics, got it.”

“Noted, mi vida.” Alejandro took Ember’s hand and kissed the back of it.

“Can we go on a date?” Ben rubbed the back of Rian’s hand. “All of us? We all like how one another smell.”

They still wanted to date. I’d half expected a massive orgy and then thanks but no thanks. Especially since Ben and Rian had been bonded for so long.

“That sounds nice,” Ember said hesitantly, glancing around the table.

“We’re boring,” I said with a warning. “We snuggle on the couch after work.”

“That’s nice,” Rian nodded. “We work long hours too and unwind when we get home. Maybe you three want to come to our house?” He sounded hesitant and hopeful at the same time. I was surprised he was letting us into his space so quickly. “We have a pool and a Jacuzzi.”

“I could do something on the grill?” Alejandro frowned, like he was already planning the menu. Cooking was definitely the number one love language for the alpha.

“That would be great.” Rian fiddled with the hem of his shirt, not quite making eye contact with anyone in the room. He seemed reserved, and part of me was glad not to be the only introvert in the room.

“Does this mean I’m not matching you with anyone else?” Ember asked, sounding put out. “Because if you’re still going to date…”

“No.” Rian looked horrified. “This is more than enough, thank you.”

Ember relaxed. Somehow, we were all still interested in one another. We were going on a date.

We had dinner and talked about our day. Rather, they talked, and I nodded at the right moments. Rian didn’t say much either, and I spent dinner scenting the people around me.

“What is that berry note?” Ember said suddenly.

Everyone looked confused, but I knew what she meant. Ben’s spicy woods and berry scent was powerful without being overwhelming, and I wondered what the berry was. Not a raspberry or strawberry, something sharper.

“Currant,” Ben said, his blue eyes sparkling with mirth. “Don’t worry, sweetheart; no one can place it.”

“Like a cranberry,” Alejandro added, patting Ember’s hand. “We don’t have them much in the United States.”

“They were actually illegal to grow for a little while, because of the rot they could bring,” Ben added. “I didn’t have a name for my scent either when it first came in.”

I listened as the conversation turned to more uncommon scent notes, and I relaxed. I was used to it being just me and Ember, and lately Alejandro. I waited to feel annoyed or overwhelmed with the two new additions. But Rian was quiet, and Ben had an easygoing charm that didn’t demand to be the center of attention.

I found myself looking at the alpha and omega pair anyway. Both of them looked at Ember like she hung the moon, which was the correct response. But they sent speculative looks at me and Alejandro.

It might work. Maybe.

An emotion welled up, and it took me a minute to place it.

Hope. That we would actually have a pack. It wouldn’t just be me and Ember against the rest of the world.

I shoved the feeling back down. I knew better; I knew how many ways this could fail. I’d already experienced how people you loved could turn on you, could twist and turn that feeling.

It was too soon for hope. Hope could break me if I wasn’t careful.

Chapter 23

Alejandro

After Ben and Rian left, Ember and West pulled me down for couch snuggles. It was quickly becoming my second favorite part of the day, the first being whenever they decided to tag-team me.

Ember snuggled on my left, West on my right, and I put the nature channel on. Ember liked to watch either cute baby animals or lions chasing antelopes. It was bloodthirsty and endearing.

She rubbed her cheek on my shoulder. “Are you okay with everything?”

“With what?” I gestured at the TV. “The show? I love the nature channel.”

We had a thick, soft blanket over us and I could have fallen asleep right then and there.

“No, with Ben and Rian.” She looked uncertainly at me and then West. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m trying to replace you. Or do too much at once.”

The alpha and omega pair smelled amazing. Even now their scent was on the couch, just enough to meld with the rest of ours, and it made me want to purr and kiss at the same time.

If they didn’t elicit such a reaction from me, I still would have been fine. Ember couldn’t take her eyes off Ben or Rian, and judging by West’s suspicious looks, he felt the same way. Ember deserved whatever and whoever made her happy. West too.

But the thought of touching either of them? That wouldn’t be a hardship at all.

“I don’t think it’s too much.” I squeezed her against me, my arms around both omegas. “The more the merrier, right? Ben didn’t snarl at me for being around his omega, so that’s a good sign.”

“He didn’t.” West sounded thoughtful. “They smelled good.”

Ember grinned at the other omega and reached over my chest to touch his shoulder.

It was way, way too soon for me to start thinking about a pack, but I could see it. Our scents were compatible, and Ember already spent time with Ben and Rian.

A few weeks ago, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever find the love I saw my parents share, and now I was looking at forming a pack.

“You don’t think three omegas is too many?” Ember directed the question to me.

I thought about Rian, the quiet brooding, the pale skin that flushed when he was around the group too long. Desire rose at the idea of having him. West and Ember, Rian and West, Ben and Ember. Any combination seemed tempting.

“Sounds like a great time. You omegas are the territorial ones.” I snorted. That was only a partial lie. “If you don’t mind sharing your nests and alphas, I’m down.”

West brushed his cheek over my shoulder. I didn’t miss how he angled his body to mine. He was still resistant, but I was fine with taking everything slow.

“We’ll see how the date goes. Ben doesn’t seem too macho.” West grumbled, but Ember smirked at him.

I was reading West’s mood enough to know despite his tone, he liked the pair too.

We’d have our date and see what happened, but I was hopeful we could make this pack work. I hoped my crazy work schedule wouldn’t add to the stress of dating two other people and then decided not to borrow trouble. So far, Ember and West hadn’t pouted or given me grief over working long days.

Maybe my luck would last.

Chapter 24

Ember

Afew days later, we managed to have our date over at Ben and Rian’s house.

I had barely spoken to Ben or Rian in the meantime and I was crawling out of my skin. Work progressed, some of the bugs were fixed, and I had intakes. I went home and fucked Alejandro and West senseless. But it felt like I couldn’t sit still for long, like I was thirsty and couldn’t find a drop of water. I needed, craved, and it wasn’t only sexual.

I heard a song on the radio and wanted to know what Ben thought about it. I saw a guitar and wanted to know what sort Rian played.

If I had those thoughts about Alejandro, I could text him in the middle of the day and ask. I went back to the cottage and scented his tropical citrus everywhere.

If I wanted to rub my face on West’s shoulder, I could drive down to San Francisco or go home for lunch when he worked remotely.

My omega did not have open access to Ben or Rian yet, and apparently that was not acceptable to my instincts. I told myself to calm down; we were going on a date.

By the time the date night came, I was climbing the walls. My skin flushed at the idea of being near them, like I was in withdrawal. West and Alejandro were anxious too, but I wasn’t sure if that was my fault. I was a bad influence.

I’d hoped that Ben or Rian would randomly appear in my office, but they didn’t. I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed and then chastised myself. They had jobs. They knew I worked, and probably didn’t want to bother me. I knew where they worked, but if they were recording, they’d be busy for long hours.

Sunday night came, and I was ready to spend the evening touching them as much as I could. I would try to contain myself since West for sure would need time, and I wasn’t sure how Ben or Rian felt about my two.

This was complicated. I never understood how an omega walked into a completed pack, like they were just the missing piece and things clicked together. I always wanted to do the picking myself, even if that was selfish.

But now that we were dating as a group, suddenly everything got difficult. What if Alejandro didn’t like Rian? What if Ben didn’t care for West’s scent? What if, gasp, they all thought I was too high-maintenance?

I liked all of them, but I was the only common denominator at this point. I’d have to wait and see how the men got along, which was why a date at their place was a great idea.

Their house was located along the coast, between Half Moon Bay and San Francisco. We pulled up a long driveway and Alejandro let out a low whistle. “Looks like the music industry has been good to them.”

I kissed Alejandro on the cheek. He wasn’t wrong. The house was secluded and the grounds sprawling. Cosmic Bonds was on a massive amount of land, and we’d be millionaires if we ever sold it, but we couldn’t personally afford to buy that sort of land these days. My grandparents had bought it in the 1970s when land in middle California hadn’t been quite so dear.

The house was long, with wooden walls and stacked stone pillars on the side. It felt like we were at a mountain retreat, and I liked the aesthetic right away. The glass windows were paneled with black metal, feeling modern but still warm and cozy. Rian texted us the guest code to the security gate earlier in the day.

Alejandro drove up the smooth pavement and stopped at the front door. Rian opened the double doors right away. “You made it.”

He was smiling and it took my breath away. I’d never seen him smile like that before, catching mostly moody or grumpy expressions. But his eyes lit up and he looked genuinely happy.

I got out of the car. “I love the house.”

“Wait until you see in the inside,” Rian looked at West and then Alejandro. “We’ve got snacks waiting.”

He almost seemed…bouncy. Excited to have us here.

“After you,” Alejandro said. West stayed close by the alpha’s side, so I stepped forward.

An unexpected blessing of having a third person around. West was the exact opposite of extroverted, so I could run ahead without feeling like I was leaving him behind.

Inside was a tall cactus in a gray pot, and some other succulents were potted to the left. The foyer was expansive, with warm inlaid stone.

Ben waited to the side, smiling. “Welcome, welcome. I was beginning to think we’d have to close the studio for the night just to get an evening free.”

“Right?” Rian said. “You want the tour now or should we relax first?”

“Tour please,” I said. “I’m nosy.”

Rian led the way, Ben following to the side. The main floor had a massive living room that led into a kitchen and breakfast nook with a formal dining room to the side. To the side of the living room was a spacious office. Between the office and living room was a door, and when Rian opened it, he revealed a small nest.

“I have them all over,” he said. “I get urges to nest everywhere. I know that’s weird.”

“Not weird,” West said. “We basically turned the couch in a mini nest.”

It was nice being around another omega who understood our urge to layer scent and pillows everywhere.

I fell in love with the décor right away, and I couldn’t help but ooh and aah over the colors. It was a beach coastal scheme, but most of the time the color scheme felt too airy or sterile for my taste. But the living room had a mint green couch with light pine wood floors, soft blue walls with a fireplace that had a tile mosaic going around the mantle in all sorts of shades of blues and greens. It was soft and warm, and I understood Rian’s random urges to nest everywhere.

“I love the color palette.” We passed a hallway that was layered with oil paintings of the beach with a thick white rug as a runner.

“I worked really hard on it,” Ben said. “Thanks.”

I laughed and touched his arm. “You did a great job.”

Ben seemed much more comfortable at home and moved around without his cane. West kept giving him puzzled looks, until Rian gestured at the state-of-the-art kitchen. “Ben doesn’t use his cane at home since he has the place memorized.”

“Makes sense,” West muttered and looked away.

“If you could do me a solid and not leave chairs sticking out or rearrange the furniture, I’d appreciate that.” Ben shifted closer to West, not quite touching him.

“I suppose so.” West’s voice was dry. “The first thing I do whenever I visit another person’s house is redo their floor plan.”

“Doesn’t everyone?” Alejandro wondered, stroking his chin. “But for you, my alpha, we’ll make an exception.”

Ben grinned, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I appreciate it.”

Rian included spare bedrooms on the tour, which were spacious, and also what was clearly their bedroom judging by the massive bed and the strength of their scents together.

We didn’t walk inside, and I was grateful because the smoky woods–sweet amber combination made desire race over me.

Judging from West and Alejandro’s scents, they weren’t unaffected either. Rian also opened the door to a few other nests, one that looked like a bookshelf nook, and one that was like a cave. I squealed at how cool it was to almost crawl into the nest. How satisfying would that be, to be removed from the rest of the house? A secret tunnel nest, considering how personal it was. But instead, he almost seemed to want my and West’s approval.

Downstairs was a small music studio. I clapped my hands. The walls were lined with records, hanging guitars, and a piano tucked away in the corner. It was funky and cool, like a recording studio from the seventies.

“Sweet magnolia cupcakes, this is amazing.” The rug was thick, and the wood paneling I assumed was soundproofing.

“We like to play around down here,” Ben said.

“I bet you do,” West said, his voice heated. He stood near Alejandro, occasionally brushing his hand over the alpha’s arm.

Ben smirked. “That too.”

The entire place smelled like Ben and Rian. It was heady and erotic, but with a layer of safety and comfort.

“Do you want to go upstairs?” Rian looked at us. “We could watch something or eat? We have a firepit, a heated pool, and a Jacuzzi off the back porch.”

I looked at Alejandro. “You know that doesn’t mean cook for us, right?”

He took my hands in his. “I know that, carina. Maybe I’ll let you order takeout on the next date, yeah?”

I gave him a quick kiss on the mouth. “Fine, but we’ll hang out in the kitchen.”

“Awesome,” Rian said, glancing around again. I wondered if he was nervous. Or horny. Maybe both, judging by the strength of his scent, and I remembered that he was worried about being the third or fifth wheel. Silly omega boy. Grumpy and aloof was basically my catnip.

The music studio wasn’t a nest, but I wanted my way with these men here, on the floor, on the piano bench, against the wall, whatever. I shoved the curl of desire down and followed everyone upstairs.

Rian showed Alejandro where most of the kitchen stuff was, offering to help chop.

“I can chop things too,” I added.

“I’ll be here for moral support,” Ben said, leaning against the doorway. “I can cook, but I suck at it.”

“Same.” I brushed against him. “I can’t promise anything I chop will be even, but Alejandro doesn’t seem to mind.”

“That’s because everything you do is perfect, reina.” Alejandro kissed my temple as he passed by.

“Music?” Rian gestured at a little white box built into the wall. “We have speakers in every room of the house, set up for our music library.”

“Hell yes,” I said.

“Oh no, now you’ve done it.” West shook his head, pulling vegetables out of a bag. “She’ll never let you control the music again.”

I stuck my tongue out. “That’s not true.”

“Here.” Rian brushed close to me, showing me the display screen. “You can be DJ. We obviously love anything already in our library, but you can download new songs if you want.”

Rian went to help with the vegetables, and I was glad the kitchen was big enough for all of us. A kitchen island dominated the center of the room, with a massive stove, refrigerator, and another section of cabinets and countertops.

“Have you always been a chef?” Rian asked Alejandro, pulling some cutting boards out.

“Pretty much, yeah.” Alejandro grinned, his dimples showing. Both West and Rian gave him a look filled with lust, their scents getting stronger. I smirked.

Alejandro told them about his career in cooking, filling them in on working with Logan in Hawaii and now here in California. The conversation shifted to West’s interest in computers.

“Have you been doing programming for long?” Rian asked, chopping a bell pepper. “Also, what are we making?”

“Shhh,” I said. I stood close to Ben, almost touching his side. I’d managed to avoid being given a job, so I figured I would milk it as long as I could. “Alejandro makes us guess. We’re just his little sous chefs until he starts pulling out seasonings. And even then, he sometimes pulls out extra to throw us off the scent.”

Rian looked amused. “That’s adorable.”

Alejandro gave the other omega an innocent look, slicing chicken breasts. “Surprise is the spice of life.”

“Mine has too much seasoning sometimes.” I rolled my eyes. “West, tell them about your love of computers but don’t rat us out. The statute of limitations still hasn’t expired for some of those websites.”

“I know,” West said. “I won’t get us caught. Ember and I have both been doing computer programming since we were teenagers. Along with her younger brother, Terran, we tried to break websites for fun.”

“Since you were teenagers?” Alejandro looked delighted. “How long have you two known each other?”

We’d spoken about personal things with the alpha, but we hadn’t talked about anything super deep. Or painful. It wasn’t a secret, exactly, but it would kill the happy mood quickly.

West nudged Alejandro. “Since we were teenagers, weren’t you listening? Stop picturing me naked and pay attention.”

“I can do both,” Alejandro purred.

West’s scent spiked, but he pretended to be annoyed and stepped back.

Instead of seeming irritated, Alejandro’s scent just got stronger. He liked the hunt too.

“How did you two meet? In school?” Rian glanced at me and my stomach dropped.

In physical therapy was a loaded answer. Because the natural follow-up was what were you in physical therapy for, and the assumption was we were there together for the same reason, even though we weren’t, and the conversation spiraled out of control from there.

I didn’t want to kill the mood by talking about the plane crash, my parents’ death, the months of physical therapy. And that wasn’t even touching the reason why West had been at the medical center.

My face must have been talking too loudly because Rian frowned. “I didn’t mean to pry.”

“Not prying. It’s complicated,” I said, glancing at West for help.

He just shrugged, the traitor.

I decided to answer, but not give the entire reason. “We met in physical therapy.”

Rian immediately looked at my arm. He hadn’t missed the massive scars, even if he was too polite to ask about them.

“After that we were inseparable, and West basically moved in with my family.”

I edited out West’s stint in foster care before moving in with me, in the interest of our comfort.

“Oh, speaking of,” Rian said. “Not that this matters at all, but I was curious since you’re both omegas. Did you take West’s last name, or did he take yours?”

It was really sweet of Rian to treat me and West like we were already a pack and therefore had settled the last name debate. Most packs took the omega’s last name.

“I took hers,” West said.

Because he wanted nothing to do with his crappy family, but that was also going to be oversharing.

“And you two are O’Shea, obviously,” I said.

“Yep.” Rian brought some more vegetables over to Alejandro, brushing by the alpha as he went.

Alejandro, the sneaky devil, was on to something. Cooking gave us a shared activity to talk about stuff while also giving us the chance to steal touches. I wondered if this was what Sunshine did with her pack.

“How did you two meet?” Alejandro asked, giving Rian a smoldering look.

“He seduced me,” Ben and Rian said at the same time. The rest of us laughed, even West.

“Not true,” Rian said, shaking his head. “I was a young musician, looking for a studio. He was much older⁠—”

“Five years is not much older,” Ben put in, but Rian ignored him.

“—and showed me the ways of making music. The album wouldn’t have taken so long if we didn’t take so many breaks for sex.”

Ben shifted closer so we were finally leaning against each other, his spicy woods scent mingling with the fresh green smell of vegetables. I glanced at the alpha, but realized he wouldn’t see me looking. Which gave me an excellent excuse to stare at his long eyelashes.

West cocked his head. “You have an album out?”

I hid my squeal. I folded my arms over my chest, instead, the news wanting to burst out of me. But I would let Rian tell if he wanted to.

“I do, only one.” Rian grimaced. “I still play guitar, of course, but it’s easier to back up other people’s songs.”

“Are we allowed to know which it is?” Alejandro looked at me. “Mi carina, you look like you’re going to explode.”

“Nope, I’m good.” I couldn’t stop smiling.

It seemed like a small miracle, to know that Rian was Burns. Man, the hours I’d spent lying in a dark room, crying to “Echoes in Stone” and “Roses and Ruins.” And “Ashes in the Wind.” His husky voice undid me, unraveled dark places of longing and pain inside me.

“You can tell them,” Rian said, looking amused. “You’re happier about it than I am.”

“Rian is Burns,” I said quickly.

West’s face lit up immediately because of course I’d made him listen to From Ashes on repeat for months. Years.

Alejandro frowned. “Name a song⁠—”

“‘Echoes in Stone,’” I said. “Or ‘Breathe Beneath the Earth,’ that got a lot of radio play. Also ‘Dust and Desire.’”

“I love those songs.” Alejandro looked at Rian, impressed. “Very talented.”

Rian gave me a sheepish look. “You know my discography better than me.”

“Of course I do. From Ashes was my entire life.”

“It was,” West said. “She played the entire thing over and over, for months.”

“Sorry, friend.” Rian clapped him on the shoulder. “I could have done better.”

“It’s a flawless album,” West said. “I just like variety once in a while.”

“Not when the part that hurts me didn’t hurt me enough the first time,” I said. “Then we have to listen to it again.”

“You put ‘Roses and Ruin’ in every single playlist you make,” West pointed out. “Even the ones that are supposed to be bubblegum pop for cleaning the house.”

“Sometimes you need something to bring the mood down a bit,” Ben said.

“Exactly,” I said, brushing my hand down his arm. “Thank you. Listen to the sound producer; it’s his literal job.”

“He plays around with mixes. Don’t be too impressed.” Rian came over to give Ben a quick kiss. “It’s like a kid in the candy store, if the candy store had faders.”

“Guilty.” Ben put his arm around my waist. My omega instincts wanted to clap and sing at having them so nearby. Fucking finally.

The conversation switched over to music, and I was glad we managed to share personal info without being forced to open up about all the horrible crap we’d been through. Rian obviously had issues with music, and I wished I knew what it was, but he would tell me in time.

Or not. I wasn’t exactly eager to tell them all my parents died in a plane crash I’d barely survived. They wouldn’t judge me, but they would look at me differently.

Alejandro put the chicken and veggies into a frying pan.

“We’re having chicken fajitas.” I raised my hand like I was on a game show. Being in the kitchen cooking with these men was making me happier than I’d been in a chocolate store. Like everything inside me was champagne and starlight, bubbly and bright.

“So close, mi vida.” Alejandro pulled some mirin and soy sauce out. “So close.”

“Stir fry,” West said, pumping his fist in the air.

“Oh, sure, now you guess,” I grumbled. “Waited until the sauces came out. That’s cheating.”

Juliet Vale’s “Half of a Heartbeat” came on over the speakers and I squealed. “Oh my god, yes, this is my jam.”

“You have a lot of jams,” Rian said. His hair was falling out of its manbun and I wanted to play with it so badly. I resisted, valiantly.

“Lucky for you,” I snarked back. I turned to Ben. “Let’s dance.”

“You get to lead,” he said, looking delighted.

I started singing along. “Half of a Heartbeat” was on a ton of my playlists, and it was the perfect sing-along song. It was bawdy and loud, with a thumping beat and lyrics about love being her drug.

I scooted in close to Ben, not quite touching him except for my arms around him, rocking my hips back and forth. I wasn’t trying to be sultry, but the beat and the lyrics made me want to shimmy.

“We’re going to be doing more than dancing if you keep that up,” Ben said, his hands on my waist. He moved with me.

I shivered, singing along, emotion welling up inside me. I was so happy, so content. Everything was perfect, and the best way to express this was through song.

I wanted their scents on me, and as I sang, I shuffled us closer to Rian. “Passing you to your omega,” I told Ben, putting Rian’s hands on Ben.

I switched to West, who immediately matched my movements. We’d had a dance party that turned into a fuck party more times than not and he knew each movement I was about to make. He sang along with the chorus when the song repeated, “Drunk on the rush, high on the pain.”

He twirled me to Alejandro, taking the spatula and passing me to the alpha. Alejandro pulled me against him as I sang, bumping his hips against mine as I belted out the song like an anthem. He pulled me close, burying his face in my neck and giving me a little nip that made me miss a note.

Alejandro twirled me, bringing me back to Rian and Ben. Rian sang along, keeping his voice husky and in his own vocal range. Part of me worried this was too far, too extra for even them.

Singing along and dancing with them when we weren’t even pack? I wasn’t a professional singer; I did it for fun. They would think I was too weird.

But the worry disappeared as Rian stepped up to me, singing along as the music stopped and it was just Juliet’s voice, repeating the bridge of the song without backup.

The song ended with me in Rian’s arms, Ben swaying behind him, and West and Alejandro behind me.

I wanted to jump up and down. I had too much energy and I didn’t know what to do with it.

“You should come downstairs. We can play around,” Ben said, breathing hard. “We play ‘guess that song’ a lot.”

I looked at West and Alejandro. “That would be fun.”

We went back to cooking, back to talking about our jobs and hobbies, but energy simmered inside me. We sat down to dinner, and it was filled with jokes and laughter, and for the first time in a long time, it felt like I could really be myself around people who weren’t my family.

Instead of scaring me like it probably should have, I just felt giddy and light, like I was made from air.

After dinner, Rian asked if we wanted to go downstairs into the studio. West said yes before anyone else did.

I fought not to grin at my omega. Things were clicking together.

Chapter 25

Ember

We piled downstairs, and Ben immediately turned into a bossy alpha. He sat at the piano and patted the bench next to him. “Ember, you sing along. West and Alejandro, you too.”

Alejandro took a seat on the couch near the piano, and West sat next to him.

“I couldn’t carry a note if you gave me a bucket,” Alejandro said. “I’m just a pretty face and a good cook.”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t have fun,” I said. “If this isn’t fun for everyone, we can watch a movie.”

“No, please go on, mi vida.” He gave me a heated look. “It is a delight to hear your voice.”

Heat flushed through me at the sexy things his voice promised.

Rian sat on the couch with other two, pulling an acoustic guitar out of its case.

“Yes, Rian’s going to back me up.” I clapped. This was so much better than going to a movie or some restaurant. “Best date ever.”

Rian looked surprised. “I thought you’d be a lot harder to impress.”

“What, music?” West scoffed. “Between the musicians and the chef, you’ve got all her favorite things covered. I should have thought of this years ago.”

“Yes, you’re the mastermind behind this all, honey,” I said, watching Ben run his hands over the piano keys. I wanted those long fingers on me.

He started with a few soft opening notes, Rian lightly strumming, and I tried to place the song. “Oh, it’s on the tip of my tongue.”

“‘Burned My Name,’” West said. “The acoustic version.”

“Yes, thank you, West.” I blew him a kiss.

“No cheating,” Ben said, amused.

“You never said I couldn’t help,” West said defiantly. He was looking at Ben like he was having the same thoughts about his fingers.

I sang the opening notes of the song. It was one of Juliet Vale’s biggest hits, and I knew the words by heart.

It was slow and sad and somehow exactly what I wanted to sing. Rian strummed along on his guitar, adding a backup vocal to mine.

Feelings welled up as the song wound through love, heartbreak, and loss, and I touched my chest, moving my hand like I could strum invisible notes too. I stayed as close to Ben as I could without bumping his arm, putting my left hand on his back.

The music shifted into Juliet’s other piano-heavy ballad, and I laughed a little as I switched into the lyrics of “Letters I Never Sent.”

“Tricky,” West said with a laugh.

Ben gave us both a devious grin, knowing he was wrong for doing a mash-up.

West was wrapped around Alejandro and watching the three of us, looking relaxed.

We did the bridge of “Letters I Never Sent” and then the notes shifted again, and I knew we were switching back to “Burned My Name.”

The song ended and I let out a big sigh, my body tingling from joy. It was like being drunk and high without the actual drugs. No wonder people made this into an entire career.

“One more?” I asked, hopefully. “If you’re not too tired?”

“We make music because we love it.” Rian nudged Alejandro’s foot with his own. “What did your alpha say? Let us show off.”

“Playing songs with you is not a hardship.” Ben ran his hand down my back, his touch featherlight. “Let’s see if you know this one.”

The opening notes started on the piano, and Rian picked up strumming.

I recognized the song right away and I wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. They were trying to woo me in the best possible way, with heartfelt emotional songs. Like love letters in the form of music.

I looked at West, and he had such a soft look on his face it crumbled my heart even further. West knew what this song meant to me, what singing it out loud in front of these men would do to me. He’d held me as I curled up on our bed, night after night, crying over losing myself, my family, what I thought my future would be.

It had gotten better, and now “Always on My Mind” meant better things for me, like missing West when he was at work. I’d texted him, “I miss you, and wish you were here.”

West gave me a small nod, his way of telling me I could do it. I could be brave and vulnerable.

I gave Ben a quick kiss on the cheek, my heart swelling as he moved through the long piano intro. “You’re evil for this.”

“I am,” he agreed.

Tricky alpha. I sang soft and slow, the same couple of notes on the piano repeating to create a lull. The song didn’t have a lot of guitar notes, but Rian improvised easily, matching the melody.

I sang with my heart in my throat, trying to think about the men in the room with me and not the losses I felt to get to here. But the bridge kicked in, and I lost it a bit when I sang, “Every fleeting dream feels like your face, but I wake to the cold of empty space. You’re part of the sky and I’m bound to the ground, searching for echoes of a love profound.”

Rian sang along, and it felt like a life raft when I was drowning in a stormy ocean. He locked eyes with me, his face filled with longing when we hit the part about a love profound.

My heart lodged tight in my throat. Now I knew where the phrase “sing your heart out” came from, because it felt like I laid my soul open and bare for them to see.

The song faded off slowly, the notes slowing down until it ended. For a minute I held my breath, and then Ben pulled me against him.

“I didn’t know.” He held me against him like I would fly away, just like in the song, and never return.

“It’s fine.” I sniffled, my eyes stinging with tears. “It feels better.”

Ben nodded like he understood, and I pressed my face into his neck, taking in his scent with deep breaths. Spicy woods, dark and inviting, with a sharp currant scent enveloped me. My omega instincts calmed, having his arms around me.

It was the most natural thing in the world, to tilt my head up as Ben leaned forward and kissed me. His mouth brushed mine, partially comforting, partially erotic. Warmth snaked through me like an electric spark.

The alpha cupped my face, fingers stroking my cheeks. My body relaxed. He was touching me; everything clicked into place just like all the songs said.

His mouth was hot and wet, his tongue brushing against the seam of my mouth and I opened for him immediately. Electricity raced over me, and I wanted more.

I slid into his lap, and he shifted his hands down my body slowly, like he wanted to memorize every inch of me. He was hard against me, and I moaned into his mouth.

“Oh, my dear heart.” He pulled away from the kiss, rubbing his cheek over mine, marking me.

Rian made a noise, and I looked over my shoulder. The other boys decided Ben and I had a good idea.

Westd was stroking down Rian’s pants, while Alejandro kissed Rian’s shoulder. The sight made a fresh wave of heat rocket through me.

“Can we sit next to each other?” I asked, looking at Ben and then the other three.

“Fuck yes,” Rian said, his eyes glassy with lust already. “Let’s get on the floor.”

My brain high-fived my libido. I was getting fucked on that plush rug on the first night.

Ben stood, wrapping my legs around his waist, and I squeaked. He carried me over to the other three like I weighed nothing. He laid me on my back next to West.

Ben leaned over. All of my attention snapped back to the delicious alpha. I wrapped my legs tighter around him, bringing him against my pelvis. He groaned in my ear, nipping my neck.

“I’m going to touch every inch of your body, angel.” He licked my neck. “You have no idea the amount of restraint I’ve shown.”

I rocked my hips against him, the friction delicious. He grunted, grinding against me for a minute before pulling back.

“You’re only torturing yourself.” He sounded breathless. He worked his hands down my sides, moving in circles.

Maybe he was. The thought was intoxicating.

He reached my breasts, and I arched up. “Ben, please.”

“Rian was right. You have amazing breasts.” He cupped them in his hands. Delicious fire raced over my body, and wetness gushed between my legs. We were reaching slick territory, and he’d barely touched me.

Ben pulled my shirt off, licking across my collarbone. I looked to my side, and West had Rian’s pants open, his cock in his hands, and was slowly stroking him.

“Oh god, they both like edging,” Rian moaned and looked at Alejandro. “Alpha, please tell me you’re not going to edge me too.”

Alejandro grinned. “I’m not, but West is calling the shots, mi amor. Better do exactly as he says.” He kissed Rian.

Ben’s mouth made it to my breasts, and I gasped, arching up into him. “Ben, alpha, please.”

“Anything, sweetheart, anything at all.”

I grabbed his shirt, a vintage Ghost of an Angel, and pulled it off. “You’d better hide the shirts you don’t want me to steal.” The shirt was made of soft cotton, and it was heaven against my skin.

“They’re all yours. You three omegas can fight over them.”

“We’re going to need to double our wardrobe,” Alejandro gasped.

“Maybe triple.” Ben cupped my face in his hands, the tip of his nose almost touching mine. “Is that what you want, omega? Our scents?”

“Yes.” I whined, his alpha scent rolling over me. I was in the same daze a heat brought on, just a creature of need. “I started sitting on the couch after you and Rian left.”

He smiled at that and kissed my forehead. “Needed our scents that badly?”

“Yes,” I panted, close to orgasm even though he had barely touched me. I lifted my hips against him, whining pitifully.

“That’s it, sweetheart. That’s it.” He licked and kissed his way down my body, his tongue finding every sensitive spot on my stomach, on my sides. By the time he made it to my hips, I was trying to rub my legs together to get some friction.

He was too smart for that; he pulled my pants down and put his knee between my legs. My sweet lemon vanilla scent got so much stronger, I heard all four men next to me groan.

Ben pressed his face right into my pussy. I cried out, expecting more buildup, but he plunged his tongue inside me, lapping at my wetness.

I grabbed his head, intense pleasure racing through me. He fucked me with his tongue, and then pushed his fingers in.

Just like I’d thought, they were dexterous, the same skill that played over the piano keys finding my G-spot.

He flicked his tongue across my clit over and over while he pushed two fingers inside me, curling them and making me gasp. Slow, steady circles built wave after wave until I came so hard stars burst into my vision. I was soaked and trembling. Ben nuzzled my thigh, licking softly and crawling his way back up to my stomach, undoing his pants as he went.

His cock was massive, thick and long, with a red knot already swelling at the base. My pussy clenched at the idea of him inside me, fresh wetness pouring out of me.

“Oh, hell yes,” I said.

Ben chuckled, his hair messed up from me grabbing him. “Position change first.” He rolled me onto my stomach and slid his hands under my hips.

“Yes, alpha, take me,” I whimpered, lifting my ass into the air.

“Not yet, my darling,” he said, sounding strained. He shifted so he was behind me, and positioned me so we were both kneeling, my back pressed against his chest.

One hand moved to where my neck and shoulder met, and the other roamed my body. Smoothing over the curve of my hip, cupping my breast, my pussy.

I relaxed against him. It didn’t seem like a submissive position, but I knew that could be deceiving. Between his hand on my shoulder and his free hand, he could move me into whatever position he wanted.

I loved it. My pussy gushed wetness, and tension built, like my body ignored that I’d just had an orgasm.

He licked my neck. “You’re mine.”

I arched my hips, his cock hit my ass, and I whined. He was long and thick, and I would definitely feel the stretch.

If I had known he was fucking hung like a horse, I wasn’t sure I would have been able to resist jumping him before now.

Ben moved the head of his cock against my pussy and dragged himself up and down. It was exquisite torture. I tried to angle it so his rubbing would push inside me, but his arm wrapped around my upper body stopped me.

I whined. “You’re so mean. Don’t you want to fuck me?”

“With every fiber of my body,” Ben whispered in my ear. “You’re not ready yet.”

“I am so wet.” I wiggled again, trying to make him lose control.

He nibbled my neck, sending delicious little spasms down my body. “That’s not what I’m talking about.”

He squeezed my breast, and he pressed the tip of his cock against me. I felt the slight stretch and I would have given my left kidney for West to come lick my clit.

I filed that idea under the Later Pile and tried in vain to shift my hips to take him inside me.

“You’re mine,” he breathed against me. The hand on my shoulder squeezed, and he brushed his thumb against my throat.

I froze.

“There it is.” He nipped my neck, not hard enough to break skin, and I almost told him to bite me.

My legs quivered from holding the position, my wetness leaking down onto the head of his cock. I had to give in to the idea that I couldn’t move or come until Ben decided it was time.

“Please, alpha,” I panted. “Please.”

I normally hated begging; it felt degrading. I only ever begged West.

But something about him unraveled me, like he was waiting for signals from my body I didn’t even know I was giving.

Ben let out a hot breath on my neck. “Do you know how amazing you smell? How hard it is not to plunge myself into your sweet wetness?”

I whimpered again. My pussy clenched around nothing, but he must have felt some of the spasms, because he groaned and pushed the tip in.

I made the most pitiful sound. My body was covered in sweat, more slick seeping from me. I was vaguely aware of the other three changing positions, of the scents of their arousal, of them watching us, but I couldn’t do anything but focus on all of the points where my body touched Ben’s.

My ass in his crotch, his hand kneading my breast, his whispers of how beautiful I was, how gorgeous, and, of course, the single bit of his cockhead in my entrance.

“Alpha,” I whispered. Nothing else but this mattered, these scents of the pack around me, loving each other.

“There you are,” he whispered and slid deeper inside me. It was almost too much. I was over-sensitized, but him pushing inside me was such a relief.

He slid all the way with a groan. “Oh, what a good girl you are. You’re doing so good, omega.”

My body melted. I was a good girl; I was his good omega. He bottomed out, and it was a stretch, but the slick made his way easier. The angle made everything much more intense, desire and heat racing over me.

He pulled all the way out and pushed back in, his cock stretching me in places I’d forgotten existed. I was panting like I’d run a mile, and my omega instincts shoved all rational thought away.

He was fucking me, claiming, rubbing his cock all the way in, and all I wanted was his cum and his knot, to use me and fuck me. I was his. I arched, and he started moving faster, our bodies fusing together until I forgot my own name, my hopes and fears and worries, everything but the feeling of him driving his body inside mine.

He brushed a fingertip over my clit, and I sobbed, coming so hard my legs gave out. Ben caught me, held me up with his arm braced around me, and kept going until my skin went molten. I needed, wanted more.

Ben shifted his weight so I could brace my knees and then tapped my shoulder. “Now present, angel. Show me what you want.”

I leaned forward, resting my forehead on the carpet. Ben pushed inside me, and I cried out, another orgasm crashing through me.

Ben went harder, the force of impact pushing me forward until I was growling. Another orgasm ripped through me at the same time I felt him come, warmth filling me inside.

“Knot,” I panted, “alpha, I need your knot. Ben, please.”

He smoothed his hand over my hip. “You want my knot or do you want to have a turn with someone else? I can knot you after you finish fucking the rest of the pack.”

“Knot,” I whined. I wanted his knot, needed to feel full, needed him locking his come inside me.

His scent grew stronger. I was drowning in spicy woods, the sharp currant scent so juicy I could almost taste it. I moved my mouth to Ben’s forearm, licking the salt off his skin.

He swiveled his hips, slowly, stretching me, until another orgasm threatened to break me. With another push, he knotted me, and I came with a muffled cry.

Ben draped over me, and my brain blissed out. I was safe and secure.

Chapter 26

Rian

Watching Ember sing with her entire heart unraveled me. She put her whole soul into singing, something I’d been too afraid to do for so long. When she finished, the song was obviously emotional for her, I put the guitar down, wanting to give her a hug.

Ben caressed her shoulder and pulled her into a searing kiss instead.

Immediately my cock jumped at the sight. Jealousy was the last thing in my mind. I wanted to watch them, and then maybe later slide into that sandwich.

“Not upset?” West leaned over me, staring like he could read every thought. “Another omega kissing your alpha?”

My perfume thickened; sweet amber and smoky moss filled the small space. Alejandro made a strangled noise and swallowed hard. It was more subtle, but West’s milk and honey scent was getting sweeter.

“No,” I said, looking at the other omega’s thick, plush mouth. What would it feel like to have his body on mine? “Turned on, not jealous.”

“I supposed we’ll have to do something about that,” he said, raking his gaze over me.

“Yes,” I gasped, my cock hard. Yes, that was exactly what I wanted.

He gave me a smoldering look, all sexy heat. “Whatever the omega wants.”

West kissed me. I moaned, his hands roaming over my chest. His tongue flicked inside, like he was tasting me, claiming me. He was hot and intense, and I thought this was part of why West and Ember worked so well: they both burned with intensity. Ember’s was more obvious, but West was an inferno underneath the surface, a collapsing star.

I wanted to throw myself into the black hole, get lost in him. Tropical citrus hit me, Alejandro’s scent spiking, and my cock got harder. I was extra sensitive to alpha scents, and just smelling the other alpha had me on the edge.

I whined, and West shoved his hand down my pants.

“Fuck,” I breathed, “god, yes.”

Ember and Ben came over to our side of the room, and we all slid to the floor. Ben covered Ember with his body, every line intent on her.

West glanced at them for a moment and then turned his attention back to me. He opened my pants, and it was almost embarrassing how hard I was, how close.

“You want to come,” he said.

“Yes,” I panted.

“You’re close.” West didn’t make it a question.

“Yes.” I stifled a whine.

“Strip him,” West told Alejandro.

Alejandro helped pull my clothes off, and I nodded, feeling hot and itchy and needy.

“Good thing you’re an omega, and you can come a lot.” West took my cock in his hands and gave me a soft stroke. My eyes rolled back, and Alejandro dropped soft kisses on my shoulder.

“Alpha,” I sucked in a breath, running a hand through his hair. West leaned over and pulled my cock into his mouth. I cried out, arching up, praying I lasted longer than a few seconds. I wanted this to last longer, wanted to feel his tight, hot mouth on me.

West sucked me all the way down and then pulled off with a pop, only to do it again. I was a goner, babbling obscenities as Alejandro stroked his hands over my chest, rubbing his cheek over mine. The alpha’s scent mark was like a brand, searing my skin.

I came hard, arching up into West’s mouth. He kept sucking, harder and harder, until I thought he’d take my soul out along with my seed.

He slowed down, pulling off me. “You’re going to take me next.”

I tried to sit up right away, but my limbs weren’t working.

He stroked a hand down my thigh. “Catch your breath.”

Lemon vanilla perfume hit the air, and my cock jumped up again, ready to go. Alejandro and West both groaned, and we looked at Ben and Ember.

My alpha had her undressed and was eating her out like his favorite meal. I was sorely tempted to crawl over there and join him, but West’s hands on my thighs beckoned me.

West gave a small smile, stroking my hard cock again. “That didn’t take long.”

“Her perfume,” I said, my brain still feeling out to lunch.

“Yes.” He nodded, almost looking fond.

I sat up, reaching for the other omega’s shirt, but he shook his hand. “I want to take you while you suck Alejandro’s cock.”

The alpha made a strangled noise at that, and sudden heat spiraled through me. “Oh, yes, yes, I want that.”

I rolled over, pulling Alejandro’s shirt over his head. I spared time to run my hands over his chest, licking his brown skin and sucking a nipple. Alejandro panted, his chocolate eyes almost liquid from heat.

I told West where the condoms and lube were and pulled the alpha’s pants off. He was long and tapered a little at the end, his knot already swelling at the base. I leaned over and swirled my mouth around the tip, unable to help myself.

Alejandro let out a gasp and the sound went straight to my head. “Yes, mi amor.”

“Good omega,” West said, almost in a purr. It felt like presenting, and the position alone was enough to make me close again.

I pulled Alejandro into my mouth, sucking him down, the sweet citrus taste flooding my senses. Alejandro groaned, shifting his hips almost politely. Normally Ben fucked my mouth harder, and the change of pace was sort of nice. I liked it both ways, but it was interesting to experience something different.

I pulled off Alejandro and looked over my shoulder. West was naked, condom on his cock and lube in hand, but he was watching us.

“West?” I whined, shaking my hips. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He gave me a quick smile. “I was enjoying the show.”

“Oh, man, his mouth,” Alejandro ran his hands through my hair.

West poured lube on my ass and positioned himself next to me. I whined, sucking Alejandro down, wanting to feel full. West pushed in slowly with a gasp, reaching around to stroke my cock. I moaned, jerking up, but West held my hips still with his free hand.

He started moving, hitting the spot inside me I craved over and over, not enough to make me come but enough to keep me on the edge. It was all I could to do focus on Alejandro, but the minute I slowed down, West gave my hip a little shove and told me to suck off our alpha.

The filthy words, Alejandro’s hands all over my body, West’s hand stroking me, his cock inside me, it built up and up until I felt myself coming again with a hoarse muffle.

Alejandro pushed into my mouth one, two, three times, matching his pace with West’s sudden fervent thrusts, and they both came at the same time.

We collapsed into a puddle. I lay on my side, and West curled up behind me while Alejandro rolled over to face my front. He rubbed his cheek my shoulder again, like he wanted his scent all over me.

West draped his arm around my chest. “Still worried about too many omegas?”

I huffed a laugh. “I’m beginning to see the appeal.”

I glanced over at my bonded alpha. Nothing but pure contentment came from the bond. He had Ember knotted, and they were curled tightly around each other.

It was crazy how…right everything felt. Like we had all been doing this for a long time, and this wasn’t the first night.

I let out a gusty sigh.

“Exactly.” Alejandro kissed my forehead.

Ember opened her eyes and looked at the three of us. She smiled and made grabby hands.

“Let’s scoot over,” West said.

We shifted until we close the gap. Ember wrapped an arm around Alejandro’s shoulder and brushed her hand over my chest.

I kissed the back of her hand. “West likes edging too. We’re in trouble.”

“We are,” she said dreamily. “As soon as Ben’s done knotting me, I want you.”

My cock jumped at the thought, and she giggled.

Ben rubbed his face in her hair. “I offered to wait.”

“I wanted it too badly.” She looked extremely satisfied.

I decided to make it harder on her and switched positions with Alejandro. I kissed her, tasting Ben on her mouth, and letting her taste her alpha on mine. My hands roamed over her body, cupping her heavy breasts.

“This is not going to make my knot go down faster,” Ben gasped.

Ember had a look on her face like she was in intense pleasure and pain. It did not stop me from thinking this was a fantastic idea. I kissed down her body, pulling a nipple into my mouth. She moaned as I licked. I reached the place she was joined with Ben and stroked her clit.

She whimpered, and I swirled my tongue around the tiny bud. She tasted tart and sweet, and lemon pound cake invaded my thoughts. I licked her pussy around where Ben’s knot was lodged, desire burning inside me. My alpha locked inside my omega, the thought a hot brand. Ben shifted, trying for any amount of friction, but they were stuck tight.

“You said I’m evil,” West said, sounding impressed.

I went back to sucking on her clit, sliding my fingers inside Ember. Ben cursed, squirming against her. He buried his face in her neck. “Fuck, Ember, Rian, fuck.”

“I want us all together,” I panted, looking at West and Alejandro. “After Ben’s knot goes down⁠—”

“Which is going to be never, at this rate.” Ben’s shifted his hips as I pressed my fingers against his knot.

“Mmm, never,” Ember purred, her eyes glazed over. “Ben and Rian, fuck me while West and Alejandro fuck Ben and Rian.”

West didn’t say a word, but judging from the sweet scent of almonds coming from him, he was on board. Alejandro was already hard and touching my back.

I shivered. “Yes, alpha, knot me while I fuck our omega.”

West crawled around so he spooned Ben’s back. There was slight hesitation, but Ben shivered and pulled West’s hand around so he could rub his face on the omega’s skin.

West relaxed and rubbed his own cheek on Ben’s shoulder, and then snaked hand between Ember and Ben, helping me finger Ember and play with her clit. Alejandro grabbed more lube and condoms, and I settled down in front of Ember, ready to fuck into her the moment I could. I pulled her into another kiss, this one sweeter, as Alejandro kissed down my back.

She was sweaty against me, writhing, until we took pity on her and let her come. Ben grunted, digging his hands into her hips. They looked perfect together and I couldn’t get the idea that we all belonged together out of my mind.

The minute Ben’s knot went down, I thrust up into Ember’s soft heat.

Alejandro slowly worked his way inside me, his gentle movements sending me against Ember. Ben was slowly working his way into Ember’s ass and she was absolutely losing her mind.

She gasped, clinging to my neck. She was beautiful, her face open and vulnerable and I wanted nothing more than to stay like that.

Forever.

Chapter 27

West

We were attempting one massive fuck pile, and instead of being overwhelmed, I was horny. So very fucking horny. I wanted to take Ember and make her scream. I wanted to make Alejandro cry out my name. I wanted Rian again; the omega had submitted completely beneath me, but first I had the dark spicy scent of woods around me.

I bit Ben’s shoulder, keeping my cock pressed against his ass but not pushing in. He was working his way inside Ember’s ass, while Rian was already slowly stroking inside her, and she was trying not to lose her mind. I couldn’t have planned it better myself, the first time touching Ben was when I was on top. Technically on the side, but it was the same. I was not in the middle of the fuck sandwich; that was the important bit.

Alejandro was all alpha. I wasn’t going to deny that. But he was like Ember; he was just as happy being topped as being the bottom. I did not think I could have said the same thing about Ben, not after watching him handle Ember like he’d spent hours learning her body and not twenty minutes.

“That’s it, good girl,” Ben whispered in her ear. “I’m almost there, my love.”

Ember panted, rocking her hips again. It made Ben’s ass rock against me, and I hissed, licking Ben’s neck. I couldn’t get enough, kissing his neck, nipping, and biting. The edge of feeling feral hovered, but I pushed it away.

I would not go into a feral rampage, not now. Just because I had the overwhelming urge to fuck this alpha senseless, didn’t mean I had to give in.

Ben purred, seating himself inside Ember. Rian pushed inside Ember, Alejandro moving inside him. It was lovely to watch Alejandro’s face flush. I could almost guess which spots Rian was hitting in Ember, and Alejandro was hitting in Rian. I knew the other omega would flush red with pleasure, and Alejandro’s sexy tousled hair could have made me come from the sight.

Ben tilted his head back and rubbed his nose along my cheek. “Are you going to fuck me, omega?”

His eyes were glazed over and his hair messed up, like the Greek God Apollo lounging on a hillside. I cupped his ass, digging my fingers into the rounded curve. He had a spectacular butt. “Do you want me to?”

“Yes,” he said with a growl and a swirl of dark spicy woods. Juicy currant hit my nose, and I ran my cheek over his neck. This alpha was definitely going to try to top me from the bottom.

I nipped his shoulder again, pressing the tip of my cock against the tight ring of muscle. “You’re sure?” I already had a condom on and enough lube to slide my way in, but extra permission never hurt.

Ben shifted his hips, inside Ember, but rubbed against me when he pulled out.

Ember whined. “Oh god, West, whatever you’re doing, keep doing it.”

Ben huffed a laugh. He nibbled Ember’s shoulder. “Traitor. He’s trying to edge me.”

“Serves you right,” Ember and Rian said at the same time.

Ben grinned, not looking sorry in the least. “I guess I had that coming.”

I pushed past the tight ring of muscle. It was a glorious squeeze. “You do.”

Ben thrust into Ember slowly, like he couldn’t him himself, pulling out when Rian was pushing in. I didn’t bother letting him have anything like a rhythm. Instead, I slid inside him and held still while he panted, working back into Ember. Then I moved inside him when he was also moving inside Ember. He was sweating and gasping and digging his hands into my forearm.

“Come on. Fuck my ass, omega,” he said, moving faster against Ember.

The bad thing about driving the alpha crazy was I was also losing my mind. He was a tight squeeze, and it was delicious to rub against his back all I wanted without him touching me too much. I thrust into him, as hard as I could, and he gasped, arching up. “That’s it. Come on, omega.”

“Is this what you want?” I bit his shoulder again. There were already teeth marks dotting his pale skin, but I couldn’t seem to help myself. I wanted my mark on his skin.

“Yes,” he snarled, “Fuck yes.”

I gave into the urge to fuck him, and angled my hips so I could pull out and push all the way back in.

Ben’s eyes rolled back and he groaned, “Oh god, yes, that’s it, yes.”

“Stop topping me from the bottom,” I snapped, not actually annoyed.

“Sorry. Yes, omega,” Ben said, not sounding sorry at all.

Ember squealed and I watched her breasts bounce as my movements pushed her forward, into Rian. Alejandro didn’t give ground, so we sandwiched them between us. My brain shut off, and I focused on the narrow, bright feeling of burrowing inside someone else’s body. Pleasure hit me like a truck, and I came with a grunt. Ben followed me right after, and like a chain reaction, so did the other three.

I collapsed, sated and pleased. My face was in Ben’s neck, his hair tickling my nose, but I didn’t care. I stretched a hand over to Ember, and she took it.

Ben was purring in between pants, and for a long time I floated in bliss. The light seemed too bright, so I grumbled and tried to hide my face all the way in Ben’s neck.

The alpha patted my arm. “What’s wrong?”

“Too bright, but I’m fine.”

“Lights, fifty percent,” he said in a slightly different tone of voice, and like a magic trick, the lights dimmed.

Ember made an appreciative noise. “West almost always gets light-sensitive after spicy times.”

I grumbled. “It was fine.”

“It’s even more fine now,” Ben said.

“It would be extra fine if we moved to a bed.” Rian looked up. “I don’t know about you, but a bed and some blankets sound perfect.”

I didn’t want to move, but Rian was probably right. The rug wasn’t super annoying, but after the afterglow faded, none of us would want to lie on the floor.

We collected our clothes, and Rian led us to their bedroom, and then his nest inside their bedroom. Like me and Ember, he had a separate room with a door.

His nest was shaped like a dome and had very thick, plush blankets everywhere. A heavy mattress covered the entire floor, with recessed lighting giving the room a soft glow.

Rian crawled in first and gestured at the rest of us. “Come on in. Let me know if you need something…”

He looked a little bit uncertain. Ember beamed. “It’s a great nest. Very soft. Not too big.”

Alejandro nodded. “Very nice.”

Rian relaxed, sending a glance my way. I tried to come up with something reassuring to say.

“Not too bright.” I crawled immediately into one of the corners. The sheets were a little bit silky for my taste, but it wouldn’t irritate my skin, so I didn’t care.

Ember crawled in between me and Rian and shoved a blanket at the other omega. “Ewww, you can have this one.” She snatched another blanket from the massive stack in the corner. “It’s too squishy.”

“That’s what makes it good,” he said, also pretending to be annoyed. I was sensing a theme in Ember’s preferences for omega men. “It’s all soft and squishy.”

She pulled a fleece blanket over me and her. “That’s fine. More for you.”

Ben crawled to Rian’s other side, and Alejandro crawled stubbornly between me and the wall. He gave me a look. “Omegas on the inside.”

I grumbled but let him shift me over. Rian shifted over Ember, telling her he’d share Ben for the night, and curled up next to me.

It was dark and the scents of everyone mingled in the space that smelled heavily like Ben and Rian.

“So that was a good second date,” Ember said brightly.

Rian laughed. “I’d say.”

“Where are all your Squishmallows?” Ember shifted the blanket between us.

“My what? You mean those stuffed animals?”

“Yes.” She touched Rian’s blanket. “You would like them if you like this texture.”

“Aren’t they for kids?”

“Here we go,” I said.

“They are not,” she huffed. “They are the softest, cutest stuffed animals ever. And they can double as a pillow if we need them to.”

“Okay…” Rian said. “Stuffed animals?”

“Yes, and I name them all sorts of things even though they come with a name already.” She paused. “Like their government name versus real name. You could get some. We could have an army. We’d be unstoppable.”

Rian was quiet while he pondered a stuffed animal army.

“Even West has some.”

“Do not,” I said immediately. Alejandro’s arm was around my waist, and I was so comfortable.

“Sure, okay. Blueberry and Magnolia are mine.”

“They are,” I muttered. They were actually mine, and we both knew it.

“Is Blueberry a blueberry?” Rian sounded mystified, like he was missing an entire world.

“No, he’s a shark.”

“West needs to have manly stuffed animals.”

I felt Alejandro’s shoulders shake and shoved his hand. “You’d better not laugh, or you won’t be invited back into the nest where Blueberry and Magnolia live.”

“I would never,” he wheezed. “Ben, help me out here.”

“I’m trying to remember where I put my phone last,” Ben said from the other side of the nest. It felt like…too far away somehow, even though I didn’t expect to want the other alpha that close. Despite the brain-meltingly hot sex we’d just had. “I apparently need to order some Squishmallows.”

“I want to look at them first,” Rian said. “I want to know what options there are.”

“So many,” Ember said, sounding gleeful. “I have a milkshake and a brownie and a little squirrel, and so many others.”

I drifted off to sleep while Rian and Ember whispered about Squishmallows.

Ember was right. It had been a great second date.

Chapter 28

Ember

Iwoke up the next morning to the most epic snuggles. Ben was curled to my side, West and Rian had switched positions in the night, and the bed was super soft and comfy.

My body felt amazing. If this is how happy people were with a pack, I could see why they bonded each other.

I pushed the idea away like it was a hot coal. It was too soon to think about bonding, but I wouldn’t poke holes into something amazing either.

Last night had been…incredible. Everything felt right. I woke up in Rian’s nest, and it didn’t feel like I was borrowing another omega’s space. It smelled like mine, and for the first time since I scented Ben and Rian, my instincts were happy.

I had all of their scents on me and more orgasms than I could count, and they were sweet and funny. What wasn’t there to be over the moon about?

Ben shifted position, tightening his arm around my waist. I wiggled against him, discovering not all of him was asleep.

I wiggled again, and he nipped my shoulder. “Keep doing that and you won’t make it out of the nest.” His voice was husky, pure sex, and my pussy clenched at the prospect of him inside me again.

Alejandro rolled over, his dark hair tousled. He looked like an underwear model and I wanted to lick him. Again. He saw me looking and gave me a sleepy smile. “Breakfast?”

“Mmm.” I gave him a saucy look so he knew exactly what was on my mind. “Yes.”

Ben grumbled, trying to get me to lie back down. I couldn’t go back to sleep, so I settled for cuddles. And tickles. I alternated between Ben and Alejandro until West rolled on top of me, pinning me. “Are you going to be a menace until we all wake up?”

I gave him an innocent look and stole a quick kiss. “Alejandro’s awake. So no, only you, Ben, and Rian.”

West settled his weight on me. “If you want us up, I can think of better things to do.”

He made good on his threat, and we had brain-meltingly-good sex again. It was the best way to wake up and by the time we were ready to leave the nest, we worked up an appetite.

We made waffles and bacon with scrambled eggs and spent the day lazing around. Alejandro was off work on Mondays, so West and I made sure to schedule Mondays off if we could.

We watched movies, listened to music, cuddled, and then had more sex, which led to more knotting, and when it was time for bed again, I was pleasantly exhausted.

The next day at work, I couldn’t stop grinning. Our group chat was pinging, between Alejandro showing us pictures of food he was making, Rian complaining about having to wait for a sound check, Ben giving us song suggestions, and my random snapshots of places around Cosmic Bonds.

West commented with his usual snark that we should all be actually working but then shared an office meme.

After lunch, Stella poked her head into my office. She had a massive bouquet of roses in her arms. “I take it things are going well?”

“You could say that.” I shoved a piece of cheese in my mouth. Alejandro had sent us all to work with lunch boxes filled with food and snacks.

I got that swooping feeling again at how well it was going. I was flying in the wind and hoping like hell the wings I’d made wouldn’t melt when I got too close to the sun.

Stella set the bouquet on my desk. “They must not know you well enough yet.”

I wrinkled my nose, coming to their defense. “We haven’t talked about flowers.” The roses were pretty, dark red, with the standard arrangement of baby’s breath and greenery. The heavy scent of roses started to fill the room, souring my stomach.

While I had been in the hospital recovering from the plane crash, people had sent so many flower arrangements. It was impossible not to associate the scent of hothouse roses with being in pain and grieving.

When Luna put fresh-cut flowers in the waiting room, they didn’t bother me because they smelled like the outdoors, like sunlight and air. Flowers from flower shops always had a weird under-smell, something I associated with grief and pain.

People had sent us cards: sorry for your loss, get better soon. Because apparently a bouquet of lilies was the right choice for saying sorry for becoming an orphan.

I picked up the white card. Whoever sent it didn’t know better, and I would be happy for the gesture at least.

I turned the card over. Inside it read, ‘You smell sweeter than any rose. Signed, your secret admirer.’

I pulled out my phone. I snapped a photo of the roses and sent a text to our group chat.

Ember:

Thanks to whoever is clever enough to say “Secret Admirer,” but all four of your dicks were inside me yesterday, pretty sure your admiration isn’t a secret anymore.

There, that was witty.

Stella cocked her head. “You like these guys.”

“Yes.” I moved the flowers to the table near the couch. The smell was already cloying in my office, and I wasn’t sure how long I could stand it.

Deal with it, I told my stupid brain. One of your men sent you roses. Well, okay, West knew better, so it was one of the other three. My omega instincts preened at the thought of gifts, even if the scent made me want to crawl in a hole.

My phone buzzed.

Alejandro:

Not me, carina. He sent a picture of a cake halfway frosted. I’m more into food gifts.

Ember:

Oooooh cake

West texted me directly, knowing I hated the scent.

Sexy hot omega lovin:

Are you okay?

Ember: I’m fine. It was really sweet. They didn’t know better.

Sexy hot omega lovin: Secret admirer is silly. As you said, it’s pretty obvious they are all obsessed with you. As is your due.

Ember:

It’s fine. They’re allowed to be silly.

I went about the rest of my workday. I managed to tolerate the flowers for another hour before sending them into the waiting room. Let the clients enjoy the stinky flowers that smelled like death and hospitals.

Ben and Rian didn’t reply for a few hours, presumably having to work.

Rian:

Sorry we were in a session. We didn’t send flowers either. Didn’t know where you fell on the “they will just die” scale. I got you some blankets and Squishmallows, and Ben is making you a mix CD because he’s old and stuck in his ways.

We also bought a bunch of kitchen stuff and a sexy chef hat for Alejandro, and West some soft clothes since he likes to be an enigma wrapped up in a mystery.

I immediately replied, throwing West under the bus.

Ember:

Soft clothes are a great idea for West. I’ll also tattle and say he loves pillows. Like, this man has more pillows than a Nesting and Knots store.

West: those pillows in our nest are yours

Ember: emoji tongue sticking out

West: I have ideas for your mouth

I picked up the card again. It wasn’t signed; it was typed-out print from the flower shop.

Ben:

Got another side piece sending you flowers? Side eye emoji

Ember: Hell no, you four are more than enough. I’m just lovable. That’s got to be why someone sent me flowers.

There was a chorus of yes you are, of course, and so on from the group chat and I smiled. They were all pretty great.

Maybe it was a client that I helped? But then they would have signed their name.

It didn’t feel sweet. It felt weird, now that I was allowed to discount the men I was dating.

I finished my day, stopped by my cottage to get some clothes and a few essential blankets and Squishmallows since Rian said it was okay, and then drove over to their house.

West was stuck in traffic and Alejandro was still at work, so when I pulled in, it was just Rian and Ben. “Hey.” Rian pulled me into a kiss, wrapping his arms around me like we’d been parted for days and not hours. He let me go and steered me over to Ben, who also kissed me like a dying man.

When Ben pulled away, I blinked. “If that’s how I get greeted all the time, we can spend the night a lot.”

“Yes.” Rian took my bag. “Make yourself as comfy as you want.”

I shouldn’t have been tired considering how deeply I slept, but I was. “Couch cuddle time?”

“Please.” Ben sounded relieved. “Today was grueling.”

Ben brought me over to the couch and wrapped me up with a blanket. Rian sat on my other side, and I sighed.

Rian nudged the coffee table with his foot. “Your presents are there, but we’re going to make you wait until West and Alejandro get home.”

I grumbled. My brain paused. He said home, like this was our home. Again, I was shocked he didn’t mind us here.

I played with Rian’s hair, finally allowed to touch it. I pulled it out of the man bun and began braiding it. It was too short to do a long braid, but I could work with the inch or so he had. “You don’t have to share all your nests. I won’t be upset.”

“I know.” Rian relaxed. “I thought I would feel a lot more territorial than I do. But honestly, I’m glad the house smells like you three now.”

“We can spend time at the cottage too if you want.” I rubbed my face on Ben’s chest. “I’m not trying to keep you away from it.”

“I don’t mind either, but our bed is bigger.”

“There is that,” I said, listening to Ben’s purr. West came home next and sat next to Rian and pulled his laptop out. His projects were acting squirrelly too. Maybe we were cursed.

Alejandro arrived a bit later, and I received my presents, records, chocolate, and Squishmallows and hugged each man in turn.

West glanced. “Can I tell them now? Bullet dodged?”

I sighed. “Sure. But, I mean, it’s not a no.”

We were back to cuddling on the couch. Alejandro snorted. “That sounds like a no.”

“Ember doesn’t like store-bought flower arrangements.” West looked up from his laptop and then back to his screen.

“It’s not that I don’t like them.” I fiddled with my new ultra-soft, plush blanket.

On the TV, a group of amateur chefs were trying to dice onions. We put the show on to unwind because Alejandro judged them and it amused me.

“Which is why they didn’t come home with you?” Ben asked, brushing his fingertips down my arm.

“I couldn’t stand the smell anymore.” I debated for a minute just ripping off the Band-Aid and talking about being in the hospital. Just a quick heads-up. But every time I brushed against the subject, the thought of explaining anything made me tired.

“Noted.” Ben patted my arm. “No store-bought cheap flowers like some basic mouth-breathing alpha.”

I laughed.

“What about flowers picked by the side of the road?” Rian asked.

“Wildflowers are fine,” I said. “Flowers from a hothouse have this weird smell.”

West gave me a side eye, like he knew I was dancing around the subject because I couldn’t make up my mind.

“No problem, omega gifts are better anyway. Soft blankets, pillows.” Rian looked smug that I liked my blanket.

“And extra clothes to steal for your alphas,” Ben said.

“That too,” I replied, only feeling a little bit forced.

The amateur chef was getting berated on TV for breaking a sauce, and Alejandro shook his head. “Who goes on a cooking show that doesn’t know how to make a béarnaise?”

“I would,” Rian said, watching the show with interest. “I would show up for the fun of it, just be like, I’m here, ready to cook you something delicious. Oops, I don’t know how to boil water.”

“And that’s why you and Ember get along so well,” West muttered.

I shared a grin with Rian, and we focused on the show.

The box under the TV narrated exactly what each person was doing, so Ben knew what was happening. I already liked using subtitles anyway, but having a voice narrate what was happening made it easier for me to focus on the TV show. With the added bonus of Rian or West giving snarky commentary.

I couldn’t believe I’d dodged the bullet again. It was starting to sink in that maybe they wouldn’t pry when I was uncomfortable. They weren’t going to force me to drag up my grief.

They weren’t going to pin my sorrow to the table for dissection, asking where it hurt, where that scar came from, all the while saying it was because they wanted to make me feel better.

When all it really did was make me sad.

But they hadn’t once dug in when they touched on a sensitive subject. Maybe that was why I felt so comfortable. We didn’t have conversational landmines to work around. We could avoid talking about something, like I chose not to press Rian into telling me why he hadn’t recorded more songs.

He clearly loved music, but something else was holding him back. Same for Ben. I knew he was blind, in the way that I needed to know that someone had a food allergy, but I didn’t need to drag him into a conversation about the shitty things that went with it, or even what his prognosis was. I wouldn’t mind listening if he wanted to share, but it wasn’t my right to know just because we were dating.

My phone dinged, and I reached over Ben to get it.

An unknown number had texted me.

I hope you enjoyed the flowers. That pack doesn’t take care of you like they should. Someday you’ll know true love the way you deserve.

Ben squeezed his arm around me. “What’s wrong?”

I deleted the text and set my phone down. “Wrong number.”

I did not want to derail my happy evening just because some idiot randomly texted me.

“Who?” West looked up from his computer. Alejandro shifted next to him, looking at me too.

“It was a wrong number,” I said, my face flushing. “I’ll put my number on the block list again.”

Working with the public, I occasionally got wrong or random texts. I ignored the shiver of unease and focused on roasting the amateur chefs.

Chapter 29

Ember

Acouple of days later, West and I went to a movie night at Greg’s house.

I would have put it off again, but all three guys had to work super late, so I decided to get the socialization out of the way.

West drove, and I tried to psych myself up for a fun night with some work friends.

I’d rather be at my cottage if I wasn’t at Ben and Rian’s house. It had only been a couple of days since our second date, but it felt like more time than that. Like we’d all been together for years.

The thought terrified me. Not that they would suddenly dump me, but the idea of caring about so many more people made it feel like my heart was walking around outside my body. Outside my control.

West took my hand. “We can call it an early night if you want.”

“I’ll let you know.” I squeezed his hand, his scent grounding me. “Are you okay?”

“Humm? I’m fine.” He shrugged. “We’ll watch an episode or two of Horrors Untold and then leave.”

“I mean, things are moving fast with the, uhhh, pack.” I looked out the window, at the sun setting over the ocean.

I’d asked West a couple of times if he was okay, and he said he was. And he seemed okay. Better than okay, in fact. Like he was really enjoying being around the other three, both sexually and during our snuggle time.

But I had to make sure he wasn’t just sacrificing his happiness for me.

“I’m good.” He sounded surprised. “It’s easier than I imagined it would be.”

“Right?” I perked up. “Three new people. That should be hard. Different schedules, different likes and dislikes…”

“It’s almost like being around adults who are understanding of other people’s needs makes an easier relationship,” West mused, and I laughed.

“Seriously, though, I need you to be okay.” I squeezed his hand again. “If you need more time with just the two of us at the cottage.”

“I will,” he said. “But I’m good. Glad that we can chill out without having to answer a billion questions.”

“Do you think I should tell them about my parents?” I sighed. “Soon?”

He shrugged. “I wouldn’t worry about it. They’re not going to pry, which is points in their favor. Tell them when you feel ready, not because you ‘should.’”

“You’re pretty smart.” I grinned at him.

“Not just a pretty face.” He winked and pulled into Greg’s driveway.

I braced myself, reaching for bubbly and perky. Greg’s house smelled like him, of course, the rosemary scent soapy and the patchouli musky, and after the bliss of inhaling the scent of the men I was dating, it was like a slap to the nose.

Even West wrinkled his nose before looking blank.

“Welcome, welcome.” Greg came over to both of us. He leaned in like he was going to hug me, and West handed him the big bag of chips we brought.

Sabrina and Jace were already there, and so were Susan and Richard. They were all betas with softer scents, so I mingled with them. We talked about different software updates, programming jokes, and then TV shows.

Greg inserted himself into the conversation, bringing up Horrors Untold and showing off his very nice setup. I would have been impressed, but Ben and Rian had a much better TV and speaker system.

I exchanged a glance with West, who gave me a small nod. Yep, he was thinking the same thing. We all settled on the couch to watch the latest episode, and Greg sat next to me.

West was on my other side, by the arm of the couch, so I moved closer to West. The show started, and I tried to focus on the eldritch horrors escaping from Area X, to the shock of no one watching.

The scientists had experimented with bug and primate genes, and after some splicing they accidentally opened a rift in the time space continuum. The show smashed a lot of horror tropes together, but something about how they played it all earnestly made the show amazing and not too stupid to watch.

Greg kept moving for more popcorn, or Coke, or whatever and shifting closer to me. His arm and thigh started brushing against me, and I froze. My careful scent balance was getting ruined. I moved closer to West, and he put an arm around my waist.

“Greg, scoot over,” West snapped. “I don’t think anyone wants to know what happens if Ember has to actually sit in my lap.”

Jace laughed. “Nope, that’s all you.”

“Sorry,” Greg muttered. “Didn’t mean to invade your privacy.”

West shot him a look that could have turned him to stone, but the sullen beta was watching the show. He moved over, though, and I could breathe again.

The show ended, and we chitchatted some more. Greg went downstairs to grab some movies that the creators of Horrors Untold were inspired by, and I went into the kitchen for more chips and dip. I had my arms loaded, only to turn around and see Greg there.

“Oh, hey, I can help.” He reached for the bowl, his hands brushing mine.

I hid my grimace. “Thanks.”

“You enjoyed the show?” he asked, standing in my way and making no move to leave.

“I loved it,” I said, injecting false cheer. “The blend of eighties nostalgia along with retro horror is top notch.”

“It’s so well done.” He nodded, his face getting animated. “The creators really knew what they were doing when they blended the socioeconomic fears against the worry about government control.”

“They did. Also, monsters.”

He cocked his head. “You smell different. Seems like you found some alphas to date after all.”

His pleasant expression didn’t change, but a hint of resentment colored his voice.

I shrugged. “It just happened. One thing led to another. I couldn’t have planned it, even if I had a crystal ball.”

“So that means the pack is open for a beta,” he said with forced cheer. “Two omegas and two alphas are definitely going to need a beta.”

“It’s hard enough dating three new people—” I started.

“Just tell me I’m not good enough,” he snapped. “Go on, right to my face.”

“Greg,” I sighed. “It’s not you.”

“What is it, then? Am I not attractive enough? I know you’re way out of my league but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t spend every single second of the day worshiping the ground you walked on.”

“It’s not you,” I said again, feeling vaguely ashamed and confused. Like I should be attracted to him, if only to make his ego less bruised. Even though that was a stupid thought.

“Have I not been a nice enough friend?” He gestured around us, the hand holding the bowl of dip shaking. “Inviting you over for parties, finding you songs to listen to, being nice to your omega boyfriend, bringing you lunch.”

“That was very nice,” I started, feeling like the conversation was getting wildly out of hand.

“Oh, I’m glad,” he snapped. “So glad that was nice for the princess.”

“This is why,” I snarled. “Because everything you do isn’t to be nice, Greg. It’s so you can try to guilt me into sleeping with you.”

West appeared in the doorway, a dangerous look on his face. I shook my head at my omega. I didn’t want to spend the night in jail.

“Because you act like I owe you a date.” I set the chips down. “You can’t just be a good friend. You have to use it to cash in on what you think you’re entitled to. Which is nothing.”

Sabrina and Jace appeared behind West, both of them looking angry.

“For the love of god, Greg, lay off,” Jace said.

Greg’s face crumpled. “Look, Ember, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.”

I shook my head. “Get out of my way.”

Greg reached out for me, but West grabbed him from behind and pulled him into a choke hold as quick as breathing.

Greg made a strangled noise, and West moved him out of the way.

Sabrina looked at us. “You okay?”

“I’m leaving,” I said, tearing burning in my eyes. “I just want my nest.”

West let go of Greg and whispered something in his ear. Probably a threat. We left, and I rubbed my left arm down West’s side the entire drive back to the cottage, trying to get the lingering scent of rosemary and patchouli off me.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” West looked mad enough to commit arson. Or worse.

“I know,” I said.

“But you still feel guilty.”

I sighed. “Yes. Like I should have made myself clearer.”

“By telling him no two more times before this?” West’s voice was quiet. “I told him if he ever makes you feel uncomfortable like that again, they won’t find the body.”

“But then you’d be in jail,” I said, tears hitting my cheeks. “And then who would rail me?”

“We’d have conjugal visits,” West said, kissing the back of my hand.

“Ewww.” I laughed.

He drove us back to the cottage, and we curled up in the nest. I valiantly didn’t call the others to come rub their scent on me and instead spent time with my omega.

Chapter 30

Ben

The ocean was cold and breezy, but I brought Rian to the pier because I knew he loved it this time of year. We needed a break from the studio, and it was a good way to clear our heads.

The recording session had been grueling, but it was all finally coming together. I hated the part when it felt like nothing would ever come out right.

Until it all clicked into place.

Rian was brooding, his fingertips swollen from playing for so long. I kissed the tips of his fingers and strolled down the boardwalk with him.

The beach wasn’t crowded this time of year, and it was nice. I swung my cane out, listening to the rhythmic click-click of the tip on the wooden boards.

“Good session.”

Seagulls called overhead.

Rian muttered, “I kept screwing up the bridge.”

“And Kinsey kept screwing up the intro, and Linsey couldn’t manage the chorus.” I shrugged. “It happens.”

Rian huffed. “I don’t like it.”

“Because you’re a perfectionist,” I said gently.

Annoyance flashed through the bond.

“I’m fine.” Rian held my hand, his feet sounding loud on the wood.

“You’re sure? How are you about our…uhh, dating three extra people?”

I hadn’t meant to spring it on him, but we’d been seeing Ember, West, and Alejandro for week and spending most of our free time with them. We chatted about it on the drive back home, but I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss a cue.

“I’m great,” he said with a sigh. “I’d expected to be territorial about my nests. About sharing you. About being with a new alpha, or an omega at all, but instead it’s really good.”

It was amazing. Even now I could smell Ember, West, and Alejandro on me, and it felt right.

“Okay.” I squeezed his hand. “What do you want to do for Valentine’s Day?”

“Let’s ask them,” he said, sounding interested. “If they have a tradition or…”

We hated going out on the worst day of the year to eat out, but if it was important to Ember, or West or Alejandro, then we could make it work.

“I really like them,” Rian said softly. “A lot.”

He sounded scared. I poked my own feelings. I wasn’t scared. Just determined to make this work, however I needed to make that happen. I understood my omega’s fears, though. I pulled him against me and kissed his temple.

“I promise, they are nervous about new people too. You are not going to be too much to handle. Not anymore than West or Ember is too much.”

“Alejandro is more laid-back than a beach chair in the Caribbean,” Rian muttered.

“And thank goodness for that,” I said.

We got a quick lunch and went back to work. On the way back, Rian had a few tentative ideas for ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day.

We arrived home, and shortly after that, West and Ember came in.

Ember’s scent was off, so I immediately went to her. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She wrapped her arms around me. Rian hugged her other side.

“A coworker keeps asking her out and being an ass about it,” West said with a growl. “I told him the next time he bothers her, they won’t find the body.”

“And then I told West I didn’t want to have to have heats with him in jail, so murder was off the table.”

“That’s assuming you’re getting caught,” Rian said practically. “We’d help you hide the body so well you’d get off.”

“See, there’s a plan,” West said. He sounded close by, so I reached out for him, my hand landing on his shoulder. I kissed his cheek, scent marking him, and let him lead us to the couch.

“Do you guys have Valentine’s Day traditions?” Rian asked.

“Oh, thank god,” West said, his voice lighting up. “I’m free.”

“You are not,” Ember snapped. “You’re coming with me.”

“Nope, I need bonding time with Ben and Rian.” West sounded gleeful.

Ember chuckled. “No fair.”

“What are we talking about?” Rian pulled blankets around us. My favorite part of the day was when we were all on the couch together, relaxing.

“Every year, Ember’s family does Galentine’s Day,” West said. He adjusted the blanket, and his sweet milk and honey scent teased me. “And every year, I am forced to go.”

“They’re your family too,” Ember said with a huff.

“They are. But Stella, Luna, and Sunshine’s packs are all staying home for Galentine’s Day. You would never leave me home alone, but…”

“But you’ll have Rian and Ben,” she finished. “Alejandro has to work; I already asked. We can do our own romantic dinner on a different night.”

“That sounds good, then.” Rian perked up. “Ember gets to spend time with her family, we get guys’ night out, and…poor Alejandro.”

The alpha in question came through the door. We all looked at him.

He laughed. “What?”

“You have to work,” I said. “On Valentine’s Day. We’re mourning your ability to attend guys’ night out.”

Alejandro’s scent shifted a bit, even though it was subtle.

“It’s okay,” I said quickly. “We’ll do it another night and then you can come.”

“No, it’s fine.” He sighed. “I’m sorry I can’t be here for the romantic dinner.”

“You will be,” Ember said incredulously. “We’re not going to have Valentine’s Day without you. I’m going to see my family the day before, and the day of, hide from all the people leaving the house.”

“Really?” The alpha sounded relieved.

“Yes, we hate leaving the house on the day of as well,” I said, giving a mock shudder. “Too many people.”

“That’s great, then. I could cook us a nice dinner on my next day off. Whatever we want. Or we could go out to eat.”

Ember and Alejandro discussed food until we were all hungry and raided the kitchen for leftovers.

I curled next to Rian, nudging my omega. He seemed much more relieved through our bond.

“You were right,” he muttered.

“I’m always right,” I said smugly.

“You are not,” he hissed.

I pulled him into a kiss to prove a point, but he managed to climb into my lap and one thing led to another.

We took our spicy times to the nest, and afterward I lay there panting, wondering at my good luck.

We were a pack; I just knew it. We were meant to be. I didn’t care if we bonded this year or ten years from now. We were meant to be together, and I’d jump through whatever hoops it would take for Ember and West especially to trust that I wasn’t going anywhere.

The only thing left to do was let time take its course.

Chapter 31

Ember

Idrove over to my cottage, sending a text to the group chat that I was swinging by for more clothes for me and West. I offered to stop by Alejandro’s apartment for more stuff, but he told me he had a duffel bag in his car.

Rian added in the chat for me to get as much stuff as I wanted, that we could pick out a bedroom to store our stuff in if we wanted to.

It was a casual comment, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

It had been almost two weeks, and West, Alejandro, and I had spent every night with Ben and Rian. I spent time with my family on Galentine’s Day, and West had his boys’ night out, but otherwise we’d spent almost all of our free time together.

We talked about being “fair” and splitting time between our cottage or even Alejandro’s apartment, but it seemed easier to stay at the bigger house.

Ben and Rian had a much bigger bed and nest. After I brought over blankets and Squishmallows, the nest started feeling like ours and not just Rian’s.

Having a heated pool and jacuzzi was spoiling me, and my leg and arm hadn’t been bothering me as much as usual this time of year. Especially since we’d been having the most mind-blowing sex. Usually that was enough to piss off my joints, but West dragged me into the hot tub or pool.

We could basically move in. I turned the idea over in my mind, thinking about how fun it would be to bring a ton of stuff over, pillows, blankets, favorite cups and spoons. It wasn’t like I had rent or a lease. If something happened and we all broke up, West and I would still be able to go back to our cottage.

The ocean was a blur of blue next to me. It was chilly outside, and I had the window rolled up, but I could almost smell the salt breeze.

I had a favorite playlist going, and I hummed along to the songs. One of Burns’s song came on and I wondered if I could ask Rian where he got the inspiration for it without causing him some grief.

The cottage was paid off. We all helped pay property taxes every year. We were barely using electricity in the cottage, enough that everything didn’t feel humid and stale. It was doable, to bring my favorite cups and bowls over without having to do something permanent like move out of an apartment and cancel a lease.

Alejandro was basically living out of the clothes in his duffel bag anyway. Maybe if the three of us did it at once, it wouldn’t be weird.

Rian might still not want to share his nests. He seemed fine when we were around them, but no one had had a heat yet, so I’d see how he felt after we dealt with that. West and I wouldn’t go into heat for another month and then Rian said he was due a month after that, so we had time to keep layering in our scents.

I pulled into the driveway and smiled. My little cottage had seen me through some times. Cottages dotted the property, even though we had all lived in a big house to the north when we were growing up. We wanted space, but not too much space.

Sunshine had moved into Pack Kahele’s house, and Luna’s pack bought her a house when they decided to move in together.

I stopped to pick up the mail, an overflow of white envelopes and one big manila envelope with no return address. I unlocked the door and stepped inside.

It smelled weird. That’s what I got for not being home very often. I set the mail on the countertop and opened the big manila envelope.

It was glossy photos of me and Ben walking around San Francisco, multiple angles. Me and Alejandro at the parking lot of Talk of the Town. I blinked, trying to remember when that happened. A couple of days ago? I had made an excuse to go over there for food.

A plain piece of paper was stuck between the photos, printed out from a computer:

You think you love them but they are alphas they just use up omegas until they are done with them and throw them away like trash. They will never love you the way I love you never be able to take care of you the way I can if you would let me

I set the photos down on the countertop, feeling cold and sick. Someone was watching me? I thought about the text message, and the flowers, and my stomach gave a queasy roll.

I had to tell someone. This wasn’t random flowers and a test message; this was someone…following me. I glanced around the room, but it only smelled like me and West, and just a tiny bit like Alejandro, that top note of guanabana hanging in the air like a hug.

I’d grab some clothes, bring the photos, and tell my men. My head hurt, felt like it was filled with bees, and I wasn’t sure what to do next. If I called the police right now, what would they do? Say yeah, that’s creepy about the photos, but what do you want us to do about it?

I’d tell the guys. They could help me plan. Feeling better to have some support, I headed into the bedroom.

It was trashed. I froze, blinking, not processing what I was seeing. The mattress was turned over and leaning against the wall. My clothes were spread all over the room, some of them ripped up. The bedside lamp was knocked over, smashed to pieces, and the door to the nest was open.

My stomach clenched again. Not the nest. Please, no. I hurried over and sank to my knees.

The nest had been destroyed.

Chapter 32

West

Something was wrong with Ember. I looked up from my desk, like she would be standing right in front of me. But it was just the office, with the too-bright lights and the overwhelming smells of betas and a few alphas.

I swallowed hard, my heart feeling like it was trying to climb out of my chest. Something was wrong. I picked up my phone, but I didn’t see any missed text messages or phone calls from her.

I stood up. I needed to call her.

“Everything okay?” Greg looked up from his computer, his brown hair messy. “Listen, I’m sorry about before.”

He tried to apologize again, but I ignored him and headed into a side office. I called, but her phone rang a few times and went to voicemail. I texted her, but she didn’t reply. I gave it five minutes. Still nothing.

I opened the group chat.

West:

Has anyone heard from Ember recently?

I waited, pacing the office. My heart kept pounding, and I felt jittery like I’d drunk too much espresso.

The group chat pinged five minutes later.

Alejandro:

Nope, been cooking all afternoon. What’s wrong?

West:

I don’t know. But something’s wrong and she’s not answering her phone.

I waited for the alpha to tell me I was overreacting.

Alejandro:

Is she at Cosmic Bonds?

West:

Hang on

I felt dumb for not thinking of that sooner. I called the front desk.

“Thank you for calling Cosmic Bonds. Terran speaking. How can I help you?” Terran said on the other end.

“It’s West,” I said. “Is Ember at work?”

“She left a half hour ago. She said she was swinging by the cottage for more clothes?” He sounded amused about that.

“Right, I forgot. Thanks.”

“Everything okay?” Terran asked.

“Fine, I’ll check in later.” I hung up. It wasn’t okay, but I didn’t have time to get into it with Terran.

I opened up the group chat.

West:

She left work a half hour ago and she’s swinging by our cottage for clothes, her brother said.

Ben and Rian hadn’t replied yet, but it wasn’t weird for them to be radio silent for hours at a time if they were recording a session.

I glanced at the clock. It was only five, and I was supposed to be here for another hour, probably two if I wanted to be able to double-check my work. I’d had small issues with the coding the last month or so, and it was adding an annoying layer to everything I did.

But Ember needed me. I knew she did. We might not be able to bond with each other, but it didn’t matter. I had been by her side for almost ten years, and I knew her better than I knew myself at times. We had formed our own sort of bond, like her heart beat in my chest.

Something was wrong.

Alejandro:

I’ll swing by the cottage, see what’s up

Relief warred with affection. He didn’t question me, didn’t ask for explanations, just trusted that I was right.

Who would have thought an alpha could be so laid-back while still having the alphaness my omega craved? And would be interested in me?

I thought about Ben. Who would have thought two alphas would exist like that in the world? I certainly didn’t.

West:

I’ll meet you there

I prepared to leave work, trying to get Ember on the phone again. Knowing she wasn’t going to pick up. Hating how far away I was. Thank god Alejandro worked close by.

Chapter 33

Ember

Isat on my knees, staring at the nest. Something smelled like burnt lemon cake, but that seemed irrelevant.

My nest was destroyed. Tears were streaming from eyes, my cheeks wet. The nest I build with West, layer by layer. The blanket we found on sale at Nests and Knots was ripped in half. The pillows lining the walls were torn up, like someone had taken a knife to them. Stuffing littered the floor, like malicious little clouds.

My Squishmallows were dead. I sobbed again, my entire body shuddering. I felt hot and cold, and I knew I was supposed to be doing something, but every time I got close to having a thought about what next, my gaze landed on some fresh new horror.

I’d brought some of my Squishmallows to Rian and Ben’s house, but not all of them.

Now I kicked myself for leaving any of them behind, because they were torn to shreds. My chest ached, like someone real had died.

The seal Squishmallow Raina gave me for my seventeenth birthday, ripped in half. The ice cream cone that West bought me on a whim when we had a day out to treat ourselves. Countless others, all shredded.

West’s pillows were ruined. The red velvet one that I told him looked like it belonged on a smutty romance cover, and he proceeded to use it to prop me up as he took me from behind. The forest green pillow with the tassels West liked to play with while we watched TV. All ripped up, with the stuffing spread everywhere.

I whimpered.

It wasn’t enough to be in our nest, but they destroyed everything in it. The fairy lights were ripped off the wall, the only lights West could stand. I’d rather the entire house be destroyed and our nest be pristine than this wreckage.

I shook again, feeling hot and cold and hot again. I looked around me, suddenly paranoid, like I was being watched.

Bile rose in my throat, and it felt like I was on the operating table again, bright lights and sterile uniforms, detached voices telling me to relax.

I was an insect for them to study. I had no control over my body. It was broken and hurting and I wanted to be somewhere, anywhere else.

“Ember?” A voice cut through the static in my brain.

I knew that voice. I smelled him next, warm tropical citrus with a fresh hit of palm leaves, like being on a hot sandy beach with turquoise waters in front of me.

“Alpha,” I wailed.

He was next to me a moment later. My thoughts scrambled. Strong arms wrapped around me. I burrowed for more of his scent and took in a deep lungful of the tropical citrus.

He whispered soft words in Spanish, running his hand through my hair until the thoughts coalesced into something coherent.

“My nest,” I whimpered.

“I know, mi vida. I know,” Alejandro murmured. “Come on.”

I let him lead me away, numbness settling over me.

“I’m going to let West and the other two know you’re okay.”

“West can’t see it,” I said, feeling another jolt of panic. “He can’t know.”

“Of course.” Alejandro carried me outside.

West had never had a safe place until he moved in with me. Not his entire life. Between his deadbeat stepdad and his even worst foster parents, he never had a place to call his own.

Until he moved in with me. It would hurt him deeper to see our nest destroyed. He was basically feral when we got together; I didn’t want to know what this would do to him.

Alejandro set me down in the passenger seat of his car and called the police and then West. He told West to meet us at Ben and Rian’s house. He also talked to Rian, who sounded frantic.

I stared at my cottage. At the cute blue trim. At the shutters, and the window boxes of flowers that Luna made sure stayed fresh and alive. We had a little picket fence. Someone had walked through that fence, opened the door, and destroyed our nest.

My stomach rolled, and I moaned, doubling over.

Alejandro pulled me into the back seat so I could sit in his lap.

“The police are on their way.” He made small circles on my back. “I told everyone else to meet us at Ben and Rian’s. You won’t want to wait around for them to get here just to be able to leave.”

I flinched, wishing they were all here right now. I wanted their scents covering me, washing away the wrong scent of my cottage.

The police arrived in a cruiser, not flashing the lights. A man with an epic mustache and mutton chops approached us. He smelled soft, like a beta.

Alejandro explained what had happened, and the officer looked at me. “I’m Detective Kelly. I’d like to ask you some questions if you’re up to it.”

I swallowed hard, wishing I had some water. But I wasn’t going back into the cottage. “Okay.”

“We’re going to need to look inside and see if we can find any fingerprints. Did you scent anyone strange?”

I shook my head no and slowly recited what had happened. I told him about the photographs, and about the text message and flowers. I gave Alejandro a guilty look. “I didn’t think the text message mattered.”

He kissed my temple. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Detective Kelly called for backup and then went inside. West pulled into the driveway.

I climbed out of the car and threw myself at him. “Our nest is destroyed. Don’t look.”

He froze underneath me and then held me tightly. “Are you okay?”

I nodded, even though it was pretty much a lie.

Alejandro spoke with the officer, who assured us we could go back to Ben and Rian’s and we would be notified about updates.

We drove back and pulled into the driveway almost the same time Rian and Ben did.

Rian pulled me into a tight hug and Ben sandwiched me from the other side.

“I’m so sorry,” Ben said, looking between me and West. “I’ll give you the direct line to the studio so the next time there’s an emergency you can reach us.”

“It’s fine.” My feelings felt like they were a long way away. I was glad Alejandro was handling letting my family know what was going on, and that I was safe.

I wasn’t trying not to feel, but it felt like I had been wrapped in cotton or taken a massive dose of cold medicine. Ben and Alejandro snuggled me on the couch, their alpha scents soothing, and then West and Rian switched out.

Rian rubbed his chin on my shoulder. His amber scent was soured. “We can go nest shopping. Tomorrow, if you want.”

“No thanks,” I whimpered. I didn’t even want to think about replacing everything because that meant remembering why it had to be done in the first place.

“Do you need anything?” Ben nuzzled my neck, his spicy woods and currant scent wrapping around me. “What can we do?”

“Nothing.” I pulled the blanket up tighter, even though I felt hot and I already had Ben and West sandwiching both sides. “I’ll be okay.”

“It’s okay to be devastated.” Rian reached over and squeezed my hand. “I would be utterly feral.”

I shook my head and then nodded. Tears burned at the corner of my eyes, and I let out a helpless whimper, resting my head on West’s shoulder. I wasn’t feral, but I’d felt that sink in before, when I was in the hospital. When my body felt like a prison of misery and pain.

I swallowed hard around the lump in my throat and shuddered.

“Do you need anything?” Rian touched West’s shoulder.

“I’m fine,” he said, sounding grumpy. “It sucks but we’ll be fine.”

I heard the laughable lie in his voice when I couldn’t hear it in mine. But I couldn’t deal with it, couldn’t talk about it yet.

“I just want to veg.”

Thankfully, they let the subject drop. It was too big, too huge to think about right now. I wanted to watch lions chase antelopes across the Serengeti. Rian started telling the lion to run faster and I felt a ghost of a smile surface. I was a bad influence on him.

The show ended, and Rian got up and switched off the TV. He turned on the speakers and clicked over to a playlist I had slowly been adding to. It was a combination of haunting, depressing ballads and emotional riffs about love everlasting. In short, it was perfect. West made an approving noise and scooted over when Rian came to sit back down.

Rian cuddled against me, so close he was almost in my lap. His scent mingled with Ben’s so perfectly it felt like my heart would climb out of my chest just to be with them. Just so I could feel what it would be like to blended.

We listened to music until my eyelids dropped and I asked for bed. Alejandro carried me.

I had a bad moment when I remembered I was supposed to be getting more clothes for me and West, but I shoved the thought away like the loaded gun it was. I put on one of Alejandro’s T-shirts and some of Rian’s sleep pants and crawled into Rian’s nest, unable to get comfortable. I shifted multiple times, cuddling each of them in turn before moving again.

“Sorry,” I muttered, climbing over West so I could slide between him and Rian. “I can’t get comfortable.”

“It’s fine.” Rian tucked his arm around my waist. “Whatever you need. We could curl up in any of the nests you want.”

I froze. Because I didn’t have a nest anymore, not really. I whined softly, and both alphas immediately touched me.

“I’m okay,” I whispered, willing my words to be true. Maybe if I said it enough, my brain would calm down. It’ll be fine, I told myself. No one was hurt. We’d make a new nest. It would be a great excuse to go shopping.

None of it worked. My nest was gone. The nest I spent years building with my soulmate. Shattered through cruelty and malice.

I didn’t know who did this, but when the police found them, I’d make sure they would feel this level of devastation.

Chapter 34

West

Ilay awake, starting at the dark walls of Rian’s nest.

It smelled like our nest, but my omega brain insisted it wasn’t mine. I shifted, smelling Ember again for reassurance.

Her lemon cake scent was burnt and sour. I’d smelled her like that before, long ago in the hospital. She wasn’t quite as bad off, but I hoped she would just sleep the worst of the sorrow off.

Sleep eluded me.

I’d never had a nest until Ember and I made one together, and now it was gone. I almost saw what Ember was afraid of. Of loving something so deeply, only to have it taken away from you. My nest wasn’t a person, but it was a part of me someone else had access to.

I was used to powerful people hurting me. Using me for their own sick pleasure or power trip.

This felt like an echo of those old violations. I shuddered, feeling sick, and crawled out of the nest.

I couldn’t sit still anymore. I saw a library; I’d read. After making sure Ember didn’t wake up when I crawled out, I wandered around the house.

It wasn’t my house. We were practically living with Ben and Rian, and even though the place was comfortable, it wasn’t mine.

I was just a guest. My instincts screamed at me to find somewhere safe, the grayed edge of sinking into my omega hindbrain getting bigger.

I had to stay coherent for Ember. She needed me.

I wandered around until I settled in the library. I grabbed a throw blanket and flipped through some books. I was cold, even though usually the house was at a comfortable temperature.

Someone came in and destroyed our nest. I’d asked about the pillows, if something could be salvaged, but Ember had gone white and shook her head.

I wished I’d gone instead of Alejandro, that I bore that burden with her. She wanted to protect me, and I loved her so much more for it, but nothing was worse than my imagination.

I shoved my feelings away, reaching for the aloof coldness that got me through my teenage years.

Someone’s scent tickled my nose. I looked up to find Ben walking to me.

“Go back to the nest,” I said flatly. “I can’t sleep.”

“Me either,” he said simply. He curled up next to me, his chest to my back. I went rigid, not wanting him to comfort me. Not wanting the feelings to leak.

He didn’t say anything, just pulled some Braille books down from the shelf and read them.

His spicy wood scent was comforting to my omega hindbrain. I wanted to rub my face into his chest again, but I resisted. It was fine. I already smelled like him, enough that a few coworkers commented on my alpha scents.

Instead of asking me if I was okay, he sat there. Not like he was waiting for me to talk, but just sitting with me.

Annoyed at his ability to be still, I huffed. Normally I was better at this game. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not, but it’s okay to not be fine.”

“What do you know?” I snapped. “We’ve barely met.”

“Your scent shifts a little bit whenever Ember wears blue. Did you know that?” He was still reading. “Just a small sweetness of honey.”

“How did you know it was blue?” He was being calm and implacable and I didn’t need that right now.

“I asked Rian what Ember was wearing,” he simply. “So is blue your favorite color or do you like it on Ember?”

“It brings out her eyes,” I muttered. “Which is why you wear blue all the time?”

Ben let out a soft laugh. “Actually, I let Rian pick out the colors I wear. I don’t care, and he likes putting me in deep reds, blue, and greens.”

I grunted. “My scent is off enough that your superhuman sense of smell isn’t exactly shocking.”

“Because something terrible happened.” Ben shrugged. “I don’t have to know you to know this is upsetting. And when we find out who did it, we’ll drop them into the deepest part of the ocean.”

He said it so matter-of-factly, I almost missed it.

I relaxed against him. Some of my frustration was laced with the need for action. To keep them from hurting me, and Ember, ever again.

“They’re not allowed to hurt her like that,” I snarled.

“They are not allowed to hurt either of you like that,” Ben said, his voice firm.

Oddly, the violence his voice promised comforted me. I read for a little bit longer, and then exhaustion finally claimed me. I made Ben come back to the nest with me, hoping things wouldn’t feel so dejected in the morning.

Chapter 35

Ember

Smoke filled the cabin.

The plane had taken off an hour ago, and I was proud I wasn’t too scared. It was my first time, and I was thirteen, ready to show my parents that I was mature. Mom patted my hand, smiling.

Dad and Pops were sitting on my other side, sharing a book between them. My aunt and uncles sat on the aisle seats, having a lively debate about Cosmic Bonds.

I had my own book, a story about a tween girl who rescued an abused show horse and recently switched to being an omega.

My book was just getting to the part about the horse learning to walk again when something acrid tickled my throat. I coughed and looked around. White smoke rolled at the top of the cabin. It smelled burnt, like plastic that got too close to a flame.

White-hot fear made everything inside me turn liquid.

I didn’t want to ask Mom why smoke flooded the cabin. I wanted an adult to tell me what was going on.

The flight attendant hurried down the aisle, and that caught Dad’s attention. He saw the smoke, his face going ashen. He touched Mom’s hand. “Honey.”

That one word told me everything I needed to know.

The dream skipped. In reality it had been almost forty minutes of waiting. The captain told us that they had a small engine fire and everything would be fine.

The seat belt light came on. No one was allowed to walk around the aisle.

I moaned, trying to break out of the dream, knowing what happened next. Sometimes it worked and I could wake myself up.

It didn’t work this time. I twisted in bed, the panic of the passengers hammering into me. The sickening lurch as the plane hit turbulence. The face masks dropped down, and Mom squeezed my hand. “I love you. It’s okay. We’re okay.”

A chunk of the plane blew out then, the lights flickering, and people started screaming.

Doctors and therapists had told me how unlikely it was that I remembered that part. One therapist suggested kindly that I was filling in from seeing movies, that the trauma I’d suffered almost always results in fragmented memories.

But I remembered. I prayed I would pass out; no one could be this afraid and be conscious, but I stayed awake. The roar of the wind, the whine of the engines, the stink of people terrified around me, my mother’s burnt lilac scent heavy in my nose.

And then everything stopped. Everything slammed together and my body felt like it was being ripped apart, piece by piece. I did pass out then, only to wake up in agony, feeling wet and cold and whimpering for my parents.

Everything hurt. The pain swallowed me, took away everything that made me who I was.

Lights flashed. Paramedics. It felt like a nightmare, and I cried out for my mother. My dad. My pops. My aunt and uncle and even my brothers, sister, and cousins.

I jerked myself awake then, my heart racing. I was soaked in sweat and shivering cold. Ben curled behind me, and Alejandro lay on my other side.

For a moment the memory layered itself over reality and the acrid scent of burnt rubber covered the scents of the alphas. I shivered, feeling so hot I could have thrown up. I didn’t want to shift away from either alpha, their scents curling into my brain and soothing my instincts even as I felt like I needed to go, to run, to escape.

My hip and shoulder ached like fire. Everything felt fuzzy. Rational thoughts fragmented away. I burrowed my face into my alpha’s neck, hunting for his scent. Spicy woods and currant. A fragment of a song played in my mind but I couldn’t name it. My skin itched and ached, like I needed to crawl out of it.

In his sleep, my alpha muttered and squeezed his arm around me.

I sucked in a deep breath, trying to soothe the fears, but when I closed my eyes, all I could see was the chunk of the plane tearing away, the shock of the black night suddenly exposed.

I let out a loud whine. Both alphas jerked awake, the omegas right behind them.

Even my fragmented thoughts abandoned me, and I sank into a dull gray haze.

Chapter 36

Ben

Ijerked awake to find Ember doing her level best to burrow into me. She was shaking like a leaf and burning up. I had already wrapped my arms around her while we slept, my hands brushing Alejandro’s shoulders, judging from the scent.

Ember whined again, and I purred loudly, desperately looking around to see the threat.

The nest didn’t seem any different. The light quality hadn’t changed. I didn’t smell anyone else. I’d have known if there was, despite the sharp burnt tang of lemon and sour milk overriding everything.

Ember’s scent was worse now than it was this evening, and it had been pretty bad. I immediately started purring and Alejandro followed suit.

“What’s wrong, my love?” I put my hand at the base of her neck and rubbed. She was a ball of tension.

“Mom,” she whimpered. “Where’s my mom?”

“Shit.” West’s voice was hoarse. Movement near Ember. The only thing keeping my alpha instincts from growling was I smelled West’s soured milk and honey scent. I felt his hand on her forehead.

“She’s burning up.” I pushed the blanket down, but she immediately started shivering.

“Ember?” West shook her shoulder softly.

She ignored him, keeping her sweaty face pressed against my neck, her nose firmly pressed into my scent gland. She had Alejandro’s hand in the same spot, like she wanted to huff us both at the same time.

“Ember, wake up.” West’s voice was commanding.

Ember whined again, pressing herself against me.

“What do we do?” I sounded sharper than I meant to, but my alpha instincts were screaming. She was hurt; she was sick. I had to do something. “Call a doctor?”

“Rian, go get some washcloths and run them under room-temperature water. Ring them out so they’re damp, not soaking.” West’s voice was still right next to me. He must have been leaning over Alejandro.

I bitterly wished I knew what to do. I was inadequate. West was hurting too but instead he had to make sure Ember was taken care of. Next time I’ll know, I told my alpha instincts.

The mattress shifted as Rian left the nest, and I growled, not liking any of the omegas to leave.

“No doctors or hospitals,” West said firmly. “It will push her into being feral for sure.”

Ember shivered and it felt like an eternity until Rian brought the damp washcloths. He came around my side of nest and leaned over me. Through our bond he felt worried but pushed reassurance at me. I must be closer to losing my shit than I thought.

“Rian, keep your hand on her shoulder. Alphas, stay put.” West’s voice was calm and in control, but his scent was still burnt honey and soured milk. I grabbed him with my free hand and rubbed my cheek against his skin.

He shifted, and a cool washcloth brushed against my bare chest.

“Sorry, Ben,” West said, still moving.

“Whatever she needs.” Her baking heat had tapered off enough that I was no longer worried she would melt her brains.

Ember jerked suddenly. “What’s happening?”

“Are you awake?” West asked, moving over my arm.

“Tired.” Every muscle tensed in her body. “Oh my god, West, no. Make it stop.” Her voice ended on a wail.

“It’s okay, honey. We’re here.” I squeezed her gently.

“It’s going to be a bad one.” Ember rubbed her arms, scratching her skin. “Why now? Everyone’s going to think I’m crazy.”

“No,” I said quickly.

“We would never,” Alejandro said.

“Of course not,” Rian said, his voice husky.

Ember’s lemon scent became more bitter, until I resisted the urge to cough. She started breathing heavily. “I can’t stop thinking about it. Every time I close my eyes, I see the chunk of plane breaking off.”

Oh, shit. I really, really hoped she wasn’t saying what I thought she was.

“Breathe through it.” West moved his hand between us so he could feel her heartbeat. I started purring again, and Alejandro matched me.

“Breathe slowly.”

Ember huffed and sucked in a breath. She whined again and I tightened my grip on her. She could have asked me for anything in that moment and it would have been hers on a silver platter.

“Good, and out.” West kept working her through breathing exercises, but she wiggled. She scratched her arm until West took her wrists. “Hey, hey, it’s okay.”

West’s voice changed a bit. “Rian, which nest would she like the best?”

“She really sounded excited about the tunnel one?” My omega sounded uncertain.

I pushed my own reassurance at him. He was an omega; he had excellent instincts.

“I agree. Grab the blankets she’s been using. Stuff some of our clothes in there, some food, Gatorade, and anything else you can think of.”

Ember started panting heavier and couldn’t take a deep breath in. She whimpered for her parents, and her body shook like we were in the Arctic without a jacket.

“It’s ready,” Rian called, and I picked her up. We walked out of the bedroom, down the hall, and around the corner to the tunnel nest. It had a low ceiling, but if I squatted, I could get in. It was all soft materials and scents of the pack around us.

West slid next to me, his milk and honey scent still sour.

I tapped Ember’s shoulder. “You’re safe, omega. Make your nest.”

She grunted and started moving things around. We waited for her to settle but she never really did. She curled next to me, and the other three rotated behind her. She moved blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals from the textures I felt against my chest.

She finally lay still, still burning up, and she whimpered in her sleep.

I let out a sigh, exhausted. Something was still wrong, but maybe she would wake up better.

“Is she going into heat?” Rian asked quietly.

“I don’t know.” West sounded tired himself. “It would be a month early.”

I leaned over to touch him and made sure he was getting cuddled. He was on Ember’s other side and Alejandro had him spooned.

“Maybe with the nest…” Rian trailed off, no doubt remembering that it was West’s nest too.

“It’s more likely a bad panic attack. We’ll see how she does.”

I drifted off to sleep only to wake up when Ember shouted.

Adrenaline pumped through my body. The close walls of the nest helped, and I took another deep breath in. I saw why Ember liked the tunnel of the nest. It would be hard to sneak in here. I smelled no one but our makeshift pack.

“No, please,” Ember cried out, her body going rigid. “Mom.”

West shook her shoulder. “Wake up. It’s a bad dream.”

She startled awake, pressing her nose to my throat again. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Her face was wet with tears.

I stroked her hair. “Nothing to apologize for, my love. What can we do?”

“My body hurts. Nothing feels right.” She shifted between me and West. She whined, and I purred as hard as I could, stroking my hand over her face.

“They’re going to be disgusted,” she said. “I need to leave before they see me lose my shit.”

“They won’t,” West said calmly. “We would have left a while ago if I thought that would happen.”

I tightened my grip. “You mean us? Ember, lose all your marbles. We just want you to feel better.”

“No way,” Alejandro said, sounding firm. “You’re stuck with me.”

“You can’t leave. You just made the nest,” Rian said, sounding vaguely scandalized. “We still have to layer our scents in here.”

Ember sniffled, like she didn’t believe us.

“You’re mine,” I growled. “I’m not letting you go.”

Ember relaxed at that.

My alpha instincts were in go mode. My omega was upset but I couldn’t do anything but hold her while she cried. It made me cranky.

West shifted. Rian’s scent got closer. Rian put his arms around her. She was still burning up.

The night passed in snatches of time. We tried to sleep as best as we could, but Ember startled awake every couple of hours, semi-lucid. She complained that everything smelled like burnt rubber, so we rubbed our wrists under her nose. She stayed hot, so we kept cool washcloths rotating. She cried in her sleep until one of us woke her up.

We rubbed her back, cuddled her, and tried to get her to drink some fluids. She refused the fluids but allowed the cuddles.

I knew I should have moved, let someone else take her other side, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t make myself move her arm wrapped around my neck even if I’d had a gun to my head. The others didn’t seem to mind and shifted positions behind her. West curled up closer to our heads, another benefit to the nest. We could surround her with our bodies, a living nest.

We finally got a long stretch of sleep like that, with West lying almost horizontally, his head close to mine; Ember between us; and then Rian cuddled behind her with Alejandro lying further down the nest so he could wrap his hands over her legs.

I woke up to the scent of her perfume, so thick and heavy my cock was painfully hard. She licked my neck, and I tightened my hands, stroking down her side.

“Alpha,” she whispered, gyrating her hips against me.

“Yes, omega.” I leaned forward, kissing her forehead.

She rubbed against me, her breasts pressed against my chest, and everything went molten. My omega needed me, she smelled like lemon cake with whipped cream, and I could have died happily making her smell that intense.

“You hungry?” I told my hormones to calm down. She smelled like she was going into heat, but she needed to eat.

“Yes,” she purred, and hooked a leg over my waist and brought her hot pussy against my cock. She was already so wet.

I kissed her cheek and moved down to her neck. She tilted her head back.

West’s scent spiked, almonds flowing out of the milk and honey, and she panted. “West, yes, yes.”

I kept stroking her body, cupping her breasts, touching West’s hand sometimes as he caressed her. I tried to keep the pace slow and sensual, build it up for her. The pain and sorrow of last night lingering on her body, and I needed to erase that.

I cupped my hand between her legs, and she inhaled. I slid two fingers inside her. She was soaking wet, slick coating her thighs. West curled two fingers inside her with me, and we moved in time, stretching her until she quivered between us. She rocked back and forth, keening.

Rian and Alejandro’s scents were heavy, and I caught their scents too, Alejandro’s rough palms passing over my own hands, Rian’s mouth on her neck. We kissed her and touched her slowly, covering her with our scents.

She moaned, biting my shoulder. I grunted, unable to help it. Instincts took over; her scent bloomed. I slid inside her, feeling the gorgeous clench of her. With each thrust it felt like she was sucking me in, like her pussy didn’t want to let me go. I drove into her, making her cry out, losing track of where West’s hands were. When he slipped into her ass, I felt the stretch of her pussy and I groaned, thrusting harder.

The nest was a chorus of bliss, and she held on to my hips as I fucked her senseless. She came hard, clenching tightly on my cock, but I kept going. She needed more, so much more. I would drive myself into her until I dropped.

West’s pace pushed her against me, driving her harder to her pleasure. West groaned and shifted until he moved behind me.

I purred, “Yes, omega, yes.”

West rubbed his still-hard cock against my ass, and I shifted my hips. Rian’s sweet amber scent hit me as he slid next to Ember. He rubbed his cock at her entrance, and I groaned. We took turns pushing inside her as she fell apart. Her perfume filled the room, and I stopped thinking or worrying.

I had her in my arms, and she was crying out my name, crying out Rian’s name. She whimpered, gasping my name as I slowly moved inside her, as the scent shifted again, and I smelled Alejandro.

Yes, let her have her entire pack. That was what she needed. Ember curled against me, whining. Alejandro pumped into her, and she cried out, “Alpha, please. Please, knot.”

“You get your knot after you’ve fucked all of us,” Alejandro gasped. “You want all of us covering you, carina.”

“Listen to your alpha.” I grunted, taking my turn to slide back in. She was still so hot and wet; it was pure heaven. I held still while Alejandro worked his cock inside her too, the stretch of us pushing her to her limits.

She whined and panted but took us like the perfect omega she was. I pulled out and Alejandro angled her hips back against him. I helped, holding her leg up, as Rian came to her head, rubbing his cock on her mouth.

She licked him immediately. “Yes, please, more. West.”

She wanted all of us. West had already taken the condom off, and he and Rian took turns fucking her mouth. I kept my hands on them, wanting to know what they were doing to unravel her.

Alejandro kept up the pace until they were both screaming. As soon as he pulled out, I thrust back into her. She cried out, her pussy still clenching from her orgasm.

I drove into her, needing to taste her, feel her, breathe her. She was mine and I would brand her with my body, would scream her name until the entire world knew. Everything narrowed down to her, her cries of pleasure, the scents of the pack around me.

She shifted forward on my chest, the other two omegas pausing. She smelled like all of us, our scents mingled. I buried my face into her neck, and she arched against me, melting like we were one body and mind.

I knotted her, locking inside her forever. I would protect her, keep her safe, and give every part of myself to do that.

Chapter 37

Rian

Ember’s heat and pain and joy washed over me. I groaned, feeling like I was on the edge of heat myself.

Alejandro looked shocked and then amused. He looked over at me and shifted back. Ben’s eyes were glazed over, and the rut had him fully.

I was amazed he lasted this long. I smirked at West. “Ben almost always goes into a rut when I’m in heat.”

West looked at me and then Alejandro. His scent was stronger too, and I wondered how much persuading it would take for me to get in the middle of them again. “I don’t want to be knotted.”

“Of course, mi precioso.” Alejandro stroked a hand over West’s face.

West’s scent spiked and he gave something halfway between a growl and a purr. “I think I’m going into heat too.”

“Does that mean you want to top me some more?” My cock was still hard, despite the two orgasms I’d had already.

“You like it?” He looked at me suspiciously.

“Fuck yes.” I rolled onto my stomach, looking at him and Alejandro. “Please fuck me?”

Alejandro stroked his hand through my hair and then gripped the base of my neck. My cock jumped and I whimpered. “You want your omega to fuck you?”

“Yes,” I whined, and Ben’s own lust raced over me. He started thrusting into Ember again, his knot just loose enough to let him go.

West purred and pushed me down onto my knees. “You did good.”

I crawled forward, wrapping my mouth around Alejandro’s cock. He groaned, stroking my hair. “What a good omega. Your mouth feels like heaven.”

West purred, rubbing oil against me and slowly pushing inside me. His perfume bloomed, sweeping me under until it wasn’t enough. West pushed inside me, and I cried out. “Fuck me harder, oh god, please.”

The omega jerked my hips up and thrust into me, making me gag on Alejandro’s cock. The alpha took pity on me and adjusted the angle. I sucked in the taste of him, the taste of Ember, pulling him into the back of my throat as West moved inside. He reached around and grabbed my cock, stroking it until I was coming in his hand, shouting. He came, nipping my shoulder.

I collapsed, and West crawled around me, him and Alejandro kissed with lips and teeth and tongue like they would devour each other.

“Take me but don’t top me.” West wiggled around so he faced away from Alejandro. He took the condom off and shifted so he placed his back against the alpha.

Alejandro growled. “Whatever my omega wants.”

West whined, and Alejandro rolled them over to the side. I shifted so I could take West’s cock into my mouth, sucking him down. Ember and Ben’s combined pleasure kept me on the edge, feeling so hot I could burst, and I couldn’t help but rub my cock against West’s leg.

“Shit,” West gasped. “Let me suck your cock while you suck mine.”

“Oh god, yes, horny omegas,” Alejandro grunted, his hips surging forward. I shifted until I could take West into my mouth while he sucked me down. I lost myself in the wave of pleasure, giving in to all my instincts in harmony, a pack around me.

Chapter 38

Ember

Irolled over, feeling like I’d been hit by a truck. A sexy truck. The panic attack induced the heat, and after that, things got hazy. Climbing onto West and fucking him until we both passed out. Taking all four of them at once until I thought I’d die from pleasure.

My feelings felt far away, and I noted with detachment that I was sore and my mouth was dry. I shifted my weight, lying too long on my bad hip, and Ben let out a little purr.

The sound went straight to my hindbrain, and my shoulders relaxed.

Rian shifted and settled behind me. It was dark and quiet, and the walls felt close together, just how I liked. One of my Squishmallows, a cat that looked like a strawberry, named Berry, was shoved between me and Ben.

I jerked, remembering the nest destroyed. Ben’s grip on my waist tightened, and Rian muttered into my neck.

The alpha patted my shoulder. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“Nothing.” I burrowed into his shoulder, the gesturing feeling familiar. His dark spicy scent was all over the place, mingling with West, Alejandro, and Rian, and I forced myself to calm down.

Ben reached behind him and groped around until he produced a water bottle.

I wrinkled my nose. “Not thirsty.”

“Drink something anyway. Would you rather something with flavor?”

I took the water bottle. It was room temperature, and I swallowed half the bottle in one go. “It’s fine.”

I tried to go back to sleep. Ben was sleepily stroking my shoulder, like we had nowhere else to be.

I jerked again. “My family. My job⁠—”

“Alejandro took care of that.” Ben cupped my face and kissed my forehead. “You’re on heat leave for the foreseeable future.”

“It wasn’t the fun heat,” I grumbled. Despite the sweetness of our scents layered together, I could still smell my own sour notes. “No endless orgy of sexy times. Instead I had a panic attack to kick things off.”

I couldn’t help but feel disgruntled. Absolutely none of this was going the way I’d wanted.

Ben opened his eyes and frowned. This close, his eyes looked darker. “Sweetheart. I hate that you were upset, but none of us minded being with you.”

“Thanks.” I took another swig of water, trying to ignore the rising tide of feelings.

I didn’t want to feel anymore. The worry that this was going to come crashing down at any second was at an all-time high.

The alpha softly caressed my face. I leaned into the touch, craving him. “Ember,” he whispered. “It’s okay for you to not be okay sometimes. I’m not okay all the time.”

“You’re hot, funny, and smart,” I muttered, pulling a blanket over my shoulder. Rian, still absolutely dead to the world, breathed softly on my shoulder. It was utterly adorable. His arm was slung over my waist, and the freckles dotting his arms stood out against my own skin.

“Also blind,” Ben said, sounding amused. “And it’s getting worst, and sometimes I feel sorry for myself about that. I also work long, weird hours. I missed West’s call about you being upset, and if I hadn’t been working so much, maybe you’d feel more comfortable with me.”

“What?” I frowned, shocked. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I should have been there,” he said fiercely, his face set. “We should have known the second something was wrong.”

“I didn’t know something was wrong until…” I paused. “You couldn’t have.”

He gave a little shrug, not agreeing with me.

I poked his chest. “Listen, you don’t get to feel bad for things outside your control.”

He kissed my forehead. “You first. Let me know how that works out for you.”

“Fine.” I sighed and pressed my face into his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. I saw his point, even if I didn’t like it.

Or rather, it was far easier said than done.

He moved his hand through my hair, and I instantly relaxed. I loved having my hair played with; it never failed to make my brain shut off.

Some of my immediate worry faded, and I was just left with being tired. Bone weary. Panic attacks and then a heat induced by the panic attack would do that.

West woke up next and leaned over Rian to kiss my cheek. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired,” I said.

“I’ll get you some food.” West started to leave.

Ben shook his head. “I’ll go.”

“It’s fine,” West scooted down the mattress.

“I know it is,” Ben said. “Omegas stay in the nest.”

“But Ember’s comfortable,” West said, stubbornly crossing his arms.

I was sort of amused, and sort of turned on by their bickering. Ben was hell-bent on taking care of West, and West was hell-bent on not needing it.

“I’ll go,” Alejandro said, sitting up. “I’m the chef.”

“That doesn’t mean you wait on us hand and foot,” West said, his voice husky. He was pale with dark circles under his eyes. I winced, feeling a fresh wave of guilt. I had for sure taken him into the heat with me.

“I’m not going,” Rian said, tightening his grip on my waist. “Too comfy.”

I laughed, surprised the sound could come out of me. “How about we settle this like adults?”

West sighed. “Fine.”

“Rock paper scissors,” I said, lying against Rian’s chest.

“Good call,” he said, kissing my shoulder.

West and Alejandro went first, and West lost. He muttered and rolled his eyes but crawled next to me.

Then Ben and Alejandro went, but Ben didn’t believe Alejandro had paper when Ben threw rock, so he covered his hands. That led to a short, heated struggle, making both of their alpha scents stronger.

Alejandro won and looked smug. “All right, my amors, what are we having for breakfast?”

“Can we just come out and watch you cook?” I asked.

They all wore identical looks of horror.

I shrugged. “I’m out of heat. I sort of want a bath and stuff.”

Alejandro stroked his chin. “I’m not sure I’m ready for you to leave the nest yet. You’re safe and warm in here.”

“And sore,” I added.

“I’ll draw you a hot bath,” Ben said at the same time as West.

I giggled again, but Ben gestured at my omega. “All right, West, you draw the bath. I’ll watch.”

“Fine,” West said.

“No blind jokes?” Ben said with a grin. “I’ll watch?”

West rolled his eyes, but I could tell by the look in his eyes he was amused.

West made me a bath just how I liked, and hopped in with me.

“Anything else you need?” He sat behind me and played with the bubbles from the bath bomb. Rian was the sort of omega who liked extravagant baths, thank all the heavens.

“No,” I said. I was back to feeling sort of flat. “Just drained. I want stuff for the nest but…”

“We’ll go shopping today,” West said like he was preparing for a siege. “Just pick up some stuff and get it over with. We’re not going to feel really settled until we do.”

“When are we going back to the cottage?” I whispered.

“Not any time soon,” he said in a tone that said never.

“I was thinking about bringing a lot of stuff over here when I went,” I confessed, stroking my hands over West’s fingers. He had white scars on all his knuckles from the extensive fighting he’d done as a teen. “Like the good bowls and spoons.”

“Seems like we’re welcome to stay here as long as we want,” he said. “And if we need to leave, we can find another open cottage.”

Something broke inside me. We weren’t going back to our cottage. I’d never feel safe there again, and neither would West.

I felt safer here, with the extensive alarm codes and with having the other three around.

I pushed the feeling of anguish away. It was going to be fine. A good day. We would go nest shopping and then come back here and eat some food.

“I’m sorry,” I said, feeling like it wasn’t enough. “It’s your home too.”

West kissed my temple. “You’re my home. Wherever you are, that’s where I want to be.”

“I completely lost my shit in front of them.” I didn’t mean to say it out loud. West knew me well enough to know I was worried about that too.

“And they weren’t disgusted that you had feelings like a real person,” West said dryly. “If I thought they would react like assholes, I wouldn’t have let you stay.”

I sighed and told him about what Ben said.

“That’s stupid. He was at work.” West rolled his eyes.

I nodded, letting that be enough. West and I were together, we were safe, and we had three men waiting for us. The depth of my feelings for them only scared me, reminded me how precarious life could be.

Shoving those feelings away too, I tried to relax.

By the time breakfast was ready, I’d dressed in jeans and a light sweater. We had pancakes, bacon, fresh fruit, and scrambled eggs, but I couldn’t eat much. West mentioned nest shopping and Rian perked up, rattling off his favorite nest stores. I sent a message to my family that I was okay and didn’t have the energy to talk. Raina told me to feel better and they were ready to smother me with love when I was up to it.

We piled into Rian’s car and went shopping. I tried to muster some enthusiasm, but everything just felt blah. At least my makeshift pack didn’t act like I was a burden for not squealing with joy.

Chapter 39

Alejandro

We were in the second nest store, trying to keep Ember’s spirits up.

None of us expected her to act happy just to soothe our egos, but even West was worried. None of us were comfortable letting her out of our sight, so we trailed around her like little puppies. She looked exhausted, with dark circles under her eyes, and her skin was washed out and ashen.

I brought her another pillow to touch, the braided texture similar to the blanket she had in her nest. Rian talked about different textures and styles and mentioned again that she could have several nests in the house if she wanted and wouldn’t that be fun to decorate different ones.

I shot him a grateful look. I would have worried about all of the omegas feeling like their needs were met while also compromising for their new partners, but so far that was going great. I stole a quick kiss from Rian before he wandered down the pillow aisle. The nest store was massive with soft lighting and hundreds of aisles to browse.

Ben also brought West and Ember blankets based on texture, making jokes about not being sure if it matched her color scheme. Ember was amused, but nothing seemed to grab her interest. She carried around a blanket West picked out but otherwise seemed detached.

She had a trauma, I reminded myself. I was worried and wanted something to do. Shopping for nest supplies felt productive, and Ember asked to go. My alpha instincts wanted to hunt down whoever had destroyed her nest and rip them to shreds.

I stifled a growl and brushed against Ember’s side again. She didn’t seem annoyed that the four of us needed to touch her.

I showed her a blue-and-purple pillow I thought she might like based on color.

“I like it.” She touched the fringe on the sides. “We need to find some firm pillows for West too.”

“It’s fine,” West grumbled. “You’re the one with the pillow obsession.”

Ember flashed the omega a ghost of a smile. “Sorry, I mean I need some really firm velvety pillows.”

“On it,” Rian said. “I saw some the next aisle over.”

I produced another piece of chocolate, and Ember looked amused. “How much more food do you have stashed on you?”

“Some.” I didn’t add in that Ben and Rian had also stashed snacks in their pockets as well. She didn’t eat enough at breakfast. West didn’t either.

We wandered around the nest store and my alpha instincts screamed at me to make this right. She wasn’t running around, picking things out with glee. I’d never been nest shopping before, so maybe I was wrong and basing all my assumptions on TV. But neither of them were acting like they were having fun.

If anything, they acted like they were shopping for a funeral.

I winced. In a way, they were.

Rian presented them with an arrangement of thick, velvety cushions. Two were dismissed as being too velvety, and one as “not durable enough”. The other, a deep green, was added to the blanket.

Great, we had two pieces. Rian passed me, back in search of more things, and I patted him on the shoulder. “Good job.”

He nodded. “It just sucks.”

“It does.” I didn’t have to ask.

A massive lounge chair sat in the middle of the display room that looked like a Victorian fainting couch. West gravitated toward it and pulled Ember down onto the couch with him.

“We’re going to sit a minute,” he said.

I nodded. “I’ll get you some water.”

Ember made a face.

“Sorry, my angel, I mean some sugar-filled syrup water that will do nothing to hydrate you.”

Ember perked up. “Thanks.”

I went in search of a vending machine and found Ben and Rian having a small conference.

“Good, you’re here.” Ben looped his arm around me. “This isn’t working. What do we do?”

I shrugged. “So this isn’t normal nest shopping behavior?”

“God, no,” Rian said. “I know it’s a trauma, so not a happy occasion…”

“But if they don’t want to actually nest shop, we could leave,” Ben said. “No point in rubbing salt in their wounds.”

“We could watch TV or play video games,” Rian said. His curly hair was escaping its ponytail and he looked like a deranged angel. I rubbed my hand on his shoulder and then looked at Ben. Ben was still thinking and didn’t seem threatened in the least that I enjoyed touching Rian.

This had to be what a pack was like. I sighed. “Ember wanted to go out shopping.”

“Out of guilt?”

“Maybe.” I rubbed my chin. “At the risk of presumption, have either of you asked them to move in? Officially?”

Rian blinked and Ben rolled his eyes. “I’m an idiot. No.”

I shrugged. “I know you’re talking about making various rooms theirs, but if it’s not a living situation…”

“It won’t feel like theirs.” Ben shoved my shoulder. “That goes for you too. We could buy a big house if we wanted. It doesn’t have to be our house.”

“Your house is way better than my apartment,” I said. “The kitchen is massive, and there’s a separate island.”

Rian grinned. “I’m glad we managed to entice you with the kitchen.”

“Maybe we don’t nest shop,” I said finally. “Maybe we just spend the day going shopping in general. Ember likes a lot of plants, and I wouldn’t mind picking up some more cooking supplies.”

“You’re brilliant.” Rian nodded. “We could go to a music store too. There’s a great place around the corner. It won’t be ‘hey, let’s shop for your new nest since your old one was destroyed.’ It’ll be ‘hey, let’s just shop.’”

With that decided, we went back to where Ember and West were cuddling on the couch. A saleslady was talking to them, and Ember looked amused.

“Are you sure?” She looked at Ember and West and then back at the three of us. She gave me such a dirty look, I stopped.

“Positive,” Ember said, patting her hand. “They’re helping us feel better. We just suffered…a loss.”

The saleslady gave me and Ben a dubious look. Rian shifted over to Ember and West. “Everything okay?”

“Fine,” West muttered. “She was checking in with us, since we seemed so dejected.”

I growled. “Was someone rude to you while we were gone?”

“No, she wanted to make sure our alphas were treating us okay.” Ember still looked amused.

The thought was a slap in the face. I was failing them. I was trying, but I was an idiot for thinking I could make them feel better after losing their nest.

“No, oh my god.” Ember grabbed my hand as the same time West grabbed Ben’s. “Sit.”

It was a squeeze, but the four of us managed to cram onto the chaise longue. Ember put her chin on my shoulder. “You’re not failing, Alejandro.”

“I don’t know what you need,” I managed. “All I know how to do is cook.”

“I need you.” Ember touched Ben’s shoulder, who had the same guilty look on his face as I was sure I had. “Both of you. All three of you.” She looked at Rian. “I’m sorry I’m upset⁠—”

“Of course you are,” Rian said. “You don’t have to pretend to be happy for us.”

Ember nodded. “So if that’s okay, I need all three of you not to feel like you’re failing us by not making our sad feelings go away immediately. Just being here for us means more than you could know.”

I settled against her, some of my hackles lowering. “If you can think of anything, anything at all, don’t hesitate to ask.”

“When I know, I’ll let you know,” Ember said.

“We didn’t ask officially,” Ben said, running his hand down West’s side. “But we’d like for all three of you to move in. If you want to get a house together, that’s fine.”

West looked at Ember, who perked up. “I was going to bring a bunch of stuff over. From the cottage. Before everything…”

“You can still do that,” Rian said. “Bring all your furniture, whatever you want. You too, Alejandro.”

“You’re sure?” West said with a warning.

“Very sure.” Ben kissed his temple. “The thought of one of you three going home somewhere else is unbearable. We’d just show up at your doorstep.”

“Like stray kittens,” Rian said. “Speaking of furniture, let’s take this home with us.”

The omegas agreed, and we left the nest store. I was driving, so while Ben paid for everything, I googled some local New Age stores. I pulled into the parking lot of Crystal Place, the building painted deep purple, and knew it was the right call when Ember’s face lit up and she quivered like a hunting dog catching the scent of prey.

“Oh, you’ve done it now,” West said with dry amusement. “We’re never getting out of here without bags of stuff.”

Ember hit his arm. “Shut up. You love it too.”

“Goodbye, beautifully curated aesthetic,” West told Rian. “I hope you like lots of color. Everywhere.”

Ben grinned. “Ember, my love, you can pick out whatever colors you’d like. I’m open to anything.”

We entered the shop and color exploded around us. Rows and rows of tables were covered with more crystals than I knew existed, and aisles of books. A massive section of tarot cards dominated the wall, and the back corner was devoted to throw rugs, blankets, and wall décor.

It looked like a flea market mixed with a garage sale, and everything smelled like incense, but strangely, it was relaxing. Ember dragged us over to the crystal section and immediately rattled off what each one did and how we had to choose two or three.

We bounced from the throw blanket section back into the tarot decks, where West tried to tell Ember she already had twenty decks, she didn’t need another, and Ben quietly slipped the deck she wanted into her pile.

I found a mosaic mirror in sea green, blue, and purples I thought looked pretty, and Rian started gathering a terrifying armload of succulents.

The real paydirt came in the housewares section. Half of the pillows were thick and stuffed, with soft texture. West grabbed two, put one back, and then grabbed three more. I nodded at Rian and he circled back for the two West set aside. Rian started happily talking about a succulent garden in the backyard and Ember talked to him about basic plant care.

Ember was bouncing around, while West added to her pile, reminded her not to forget some essential item, and then wandered off for his own bounty. Ember rotated through the store, making sure to swing by and rub her cheek against mine five or six times.

I grinned, finally settled. The omegas were happy, the burnt part of their scents mostly gone. This time I would insisted on paying.

She cornered me in the crystals section, in a small alcove where macramé plant hangers created a false sense of privacy. “Thank you. This was a great idea.”

“Anything for you.” Her red hair was back in a bun today, and I itched to pull it free. Her scent grew sweeter, and she smiled like I’d hung the moon.

My alpha instincts preened. Maybe I wasn’t a total screwup if she looked at me like that.

“I’m sorry things have been so crazy,” she started.

“Mi corazón, I’m a chef. Crazy is what I do. You never have to apologize that your life isn’t calm and orderly.” I stroked my hand down her cheek. “Even though I wish that for you, to save you some pain.”

Her lemon pound cake scent grew sweeter, and I briefly considered finding a dark corner. Somewhere. “You’re sure you’re okay, us all moving in together?”

“Yes,” I said. I kissed her on the lips, briefly. “We’re meant to be together, all of us.”

She nodded, looking determined and nervous at that statement.

“Bad things will happen.” I took both of her hands in mine. “But so will good things.”

“You’re right,” she said. “I just get scared that the bad things will take away all the good things.”

“Nothing will take me away from you,” I said, wishing I had the same way with words that Rian did. “You are mine, forever. I would bond you right now, if that is what you desire.”

“If you die,” she whispered softly. Fear filled her eyes. “You would leave me.”

“Oh, honey.” I pulled her against me. No wonder she was so cautious. I didn’t need her to spell it out, not when I knew her parents’ history. Anyone would be cautious after experiencing that. I thought about my parents, my dad giving my mother his heart every day, and receiving her own in turn.

“It’s brave, loving someone. Feels like the bravest thing you can do sometimes.”

She sniffled. “You’re right. But I can be brave.”

I held her against me until she stepped back, wiping her face. She gave me a soft look, and my heart flipped. I prayed I would be worthy of that expression.

“If you two are done making out,” West said, coming around the corner, “I’m starving.”

Ember laughed. “We’re not making out. If we started, we wouldn’t stop.”

“Too true,” I said. She linked her hand with mine, and we brought our spoils of war up to the counter. I paid for everything, and we swung through a takeout place on the way back to Ben and Rian’s.

Back home.

The chaise longue had to be delivered. We carried everything else in trips and settled at the kitchen table. Ben and I opened containers of Chinese takeout and passed around paper plates.

“We can swing by your apartment tomorrow?” Rian said, nudging my leg with his foot. “Get the rest of your stuff?”

“Yes, I’d like that.”

“You can pick out any bedroom you want. We can have our own space in addition to shared spaces,” Rian added, picking at the hem of his T-shirt, a telltale sign he was nervous.

I brushed my hand over his arm. “That sounds lovely. I look forward to annoying all of you by having to wake up ridiculously early.”

Ember looked thoughtful, and West poked her. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She smiled. “I’m feeling a little better. Thank you, all of you, for letting me…uhhh, have a nervous breakdown.”

Rian snorted. “I have them, like, once a week. Get in line.”

Ember looked down at her plate, dragging her fork through her noodles. “Umm. My parents died in a plane crash.”

Ben looked solemn and Rian frowned.

“I don’t know if you guys knew that.”

“I sort of heard…” Rian started and then squeezed her hand.

“I was on the plane,” she said firmly. “I just—sorry to ruin the mood. I figured I’d explain.”

“You don’t have to explain anything to us,” Ben said with a frown.

“I know.” She sighed and relaxed. “All of you have let me work through this at my own pace, which is why I feel ready. I was on the plane, and it crashed, and my designation flipped and it was a lot.”

“Shit,” I said. I took her other hand. “I am so sorry.” My mind reeled at the level of trauma. No wonder she was cautious.

Ember let out a breath. “It’s okay. I’m mostly okay now, but sometimes…” She gestured around us. “The nest set me off.”

“We will always be there for you,” Ben said firmly.

“You’re showing me that.” She beamed, her red hair tumbling down her shoulders in waves. “Alejandro told me today that, no matter what, he was there.”

“Me too, us, yes,” Rian said, tripping over his own words.

“You’re ours,” Ben said, looking at West. “All three of you.”

West’s shoulders unhitched, and I brushed my hand over his arm too.

“We’re a pack,” I said. I wasn’t afraid anymore to say it out loud. It was the truth we all knew in our bones.

“We are.” Ben gestured at me. “Always. We can bond now, or in years. I’m happy with whatever.”

Ember nodded, looking down at her plate. “Thank you. I, uhh, not tonight? But knowing I’m not the only one…”

“Madly in love with you?” Ben smiled. “You’re not the only one. I’m madly in love with all three of you, and I’m so happy we’re moving in together.”

“Yes,” Rian said. “I know I’m grumpy but⁠—”

“Get in line,” West said, and Rian laughed.

“Pretty sure we’re all on board with the grumpy male omega.” I laughed. “It’s very sexy.”

“Yeah, it is.” Ember shifted so she sat between West and Rian. “And I have two of them.”

I sighed, feeling like I’d managed to have it all. They weren’t mad about my weird work hours and just moved their schedules around it.

Looking at them around the table, I realized the pack was my home.

“Can we watch TV?” Ember asked. She looked exhausted again, and I only felt a tiny bit guilty for having such a heavy conversation in the wake of the tragedy. “I want to listen to Rian and Alejandro judge the chefs on TV.”

“I would love nothing more,” I said, meaning every word.

As we snuggled down on the couch, I considered my colossal luck. I had my pack, and I would do anything to keep them safe.

I checked my phone again. Raina had looped me in on the investigation to who broke into the nest. Ember would ask soon, but until she brought it up, I didn’t want to remind her.

So far, the police had no leads and no forensic evidence. The urge to go door to door to see who could have hurt her was strong.

When Ember was ready to go back to work, we’d set up some safety measures. Until then, she was at the pack house and in my arms.

It was the best I could do.

Chapter 40

Ember

After a few days of lying around with my men, I dragged myself back to work. I could have stayed out longer, but I wanted to get back to what was going to pass for normal. We went on a few dates as a pack, to the beach, where Rian and I argued over the best time to sit and look at the water, and then to a nice restaurant Alejandro wanted to try.

It was nice. Some of my nerves were soothed by having everyone around, but getting back to a routine was going to be the real test.

Case in point, West worked remotely. I didn’t have to ask him if he wanted to stay home or come to work with me and find an empty room.

We moved into Rian and Ben’s house, but I was still mentally thinking of it as theirs. And sitting around their house while no one else was home all day would have felt…weird. Considering it took months for West to get comfortable in my cottage, I could only guess how long it would take for him to adjust to Ben and Rian’s.

They suggested looking for a house for all of us, but that seemed dumb. I liked their house; I just hadn’t lived there long enough to make it feel like mine.

I walked into the reception room with West in tow.

My entire family was waiting for me. I’d expected them to be more chill about things, but boy, was I wrong. All of my cousins and siblings took turns hugging me—and West—and giving us presents.

Raina looked like a Valkyrie. “We will figure out who broke in, I promise.”

She also promised swift vengeance. I grinned. I liked it when my older sister came over all bloodthirsty.

“We’ve installed more cameras, even around the private residences, and we’re talking about a massive gate as well,” Zephyr added, furious.

“We’re okay.” I squeezed West’s hand. He looked…surprised at the show of support. Even now he was shocked when my family treated him like part of the family.

“We have presents,” Stella said, thrusting a shiny blue gift into West’s hands. “It’s not the same, but it’s a start.”

Everyone stared at West, waiting for him to open it. I grinned at him. “Go on. Just like at Christmas.”

West sighed. “Fine. But you didn’t have to do this.”

“Speak for yourself,” Terran said. “It’s the least we can do.”

West opened up the box, and it was a velvet blue pillow and a blue axolotl Squishmallow. Amusement creased his face. “Thank you.”

We sat in the reception room and opened our presents. We had new Squishmallows (which made me tear up a little bit), blankets, pillows, the nasty peach gummy rings West loved, and some quality chocolate for me.

“Thank you.” I hugged my family. “We’re doing okay, but this was perfect.” I kept a purple unicorn Squishmallow under my arm. “West is going to find a random room to work in.”

“Not your office?” West raised an eyebrow.

“If I’m not going to annoy you,” I said sweetly. Sometimes loud music and my random comments distracted him while he worked.

“If she’s too much, you’re welcome to use any of the empty offices,” Raina said.

We all set about our workdays, and I brought our bounty into my office.

I eyed the couch. Having West in my office all day was going to be distracting. Alejandro had done a massive amount of food prep so now we all went to work with packed lunches, snacks, and even some smoothies.

West settled on the couch, and I opened up my computer, feeling like it had been ten years and not barely a week since I’d been here.

Sitting in the middle of all his new Squishmallows and pillows, West looked really comfortable.

I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. If I climbed in there with him, we’d have sex and get nothing done.

I was having a hard time seeing a downside. Nope, I had to catch up on work. So did he.

“Still okay with everything?” I shifted my mouse. “Moving in as a pack?”

He glanced over. “I wouldn’t have said yes if I wasn’t.”

“But still. Lots of people around all the time now.”

“The house is big enough that I get privacy when I want it,” he said calmly.

It was true. Even Rian seemed fine with wandering off to take a nap. It was nice being around one another without feeling like I had to give my undivided attention all the time.

“You?” He made it a question.

“Fine.” I wiggled in my seat. “Really fine with it, actually.”

“Ah, so of course, what if something terrible happens.”

I gave him the stink eye. “Stop reading my mind. I’m trying to be happy and live in the moment.”

“But someone also destroyed our nest,” he said bluntly. “Something terrible did happen. But we’re still here, and our…pack.” He paused. “Was there for us instead of making it harder.”

I opened one of my dark chocolate bars, deciding nine in the morning was late enough for a sweet snack. “That’s…true. It’s just weird being able to rely on people other than my family.”

“Now you know how I feel,” he said with a wry smirk. “What is this love and supporting help system?”

I made a face. He was joking, but it wasn’t actually funny. “You will always have me and my family.”

“I know. Just takes a little adjustment.” He shifted the blanket around himself, glaring at his laptop. “But that’s okay. The other three are adjusting around us too.”

West was right. I was happy, really happy, for the first time in a long time. I wasn’t worried anymore that Ben or Alejandro would decide that we were too much omega for them. Rian thawed out enough that I saw his wounded feelings, his fears that we would reject him and he’d would be stuck between Ben’s desire for us and his bonded omega.

It was a tangled-up mess of feelings, but it somehow all made sense.

“Do you think I should tell them?” West said causally. Too casual. I didn’t look at him; I kept opening up files on my computer. At random, starting with photos of baby ducks.

“About your shitty parents and then foster parents?” I thought about the can of worms that would open. “Not if you don’t want to.”

“But shouldn’t they know…” He paused.

“Nope.” I looked at my omega. “No one has to know the pain you’ve been through. They won’t think any less of you if they find out, but they’re not going to be mad at you for withholding information. If you want to share, do it. But don’t feel like you have to now that we’re in a serious relationship.”

West sighed, some of the tension leaving his shoulders. “I don’t want to talk about it. You say they won’t think less of me, but they will…change how they think of me.”

I briefly debated giving West the softer version, but decided he needed bluntness. “They won’t.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Even the part where I went after my stepfather with a knife?”

“If I were there, I would have stabbed him too,” I said vehemently. My hackles rose for teenage West, who had no one to protect him. “They won’t think less of you, any more than we think less of Rian for struggling with music. Or Ben for being blind. Or Alejandro for working long hours. Or me for being in a plane crash.”

He grunted. He didn’t quite believe me, but that was okay. It would take time for him to feel comfortable with the thought that he could let the pack all the way in.

I offered him some of my own feelings. “It was easier telling them about my parents because they didn’t push. Ever. Not when we were talking about how we met, or when they saw my scars.”

“That is nice,” West muttered. “None of the alphas act like there must be something wrong with me for not wanting to be knotted.”

“Which is how I know they’re not going to think less of you,” I said. “They accepted that you knew what you were okay with and moved on.”

West grunted again, and I let the subject drop. It was hard enough for me to move past my own baggage, my fears of loving them and them leaving me. I wouldn’t push West on his own, but I could offer him support.

I passed him some of our snacks and settled in for our normal workday. I could accept the love the universe was trying to give me. I could.

Chapter 41

Rian

Two weeks into living as a pack, and it was still as amazing as the first few days.

I hated the pain West and Ember had suffered, but the selfish part of me was glad it brought us together.

It was easier to believe they wouldn’t decide I was too moody the longer we lived together. And seeing West’s own mood swings helped me remember it was okay.

It was silly. But I was so used to being a disappointment it was hard to believe my luck.

I came back to the house to find Ember setting her laptop bag down on the countertop. Evidence of her was everywhere, in her lemon pound cake scent, in her socks that we found literally everywhere, somehow never with its mate, and in listening to her voice throughout the house.

“Hey.” She beamed at me. “It’s just the two of us?”

“Ben had to stay back,” I said. “He’ll get an Uber. I offered to stay…”

“But he’s stubborn.” Ember picked up her phone. “West is still at the office. He has stuff to catch up on. I’ll tell him to pick Ben up.”

“Good plan.” I grinned. “Alejandro said he was working late too.”

My stomach twisted at the thought of the other alpha. I ached to have his teeth in my neck, but I didn’t want Ember or West to feel rushed. I could be patient.

“Hungry?” I followed Ember into the kitchen. “I think our alpha left us some leftovers.”

“Starved. Don’t tattle on me, but I forget to eat lunch.”

“You’ll have to owe me one.” I tsked and headed for the fridge. There was indeed a lot of leftovers. Alejandro apparently had fears that we would wither away to nothing.

I wasn’t sure I could share another alpha. But Alejandro made it easy.

Ember hummed along to a song we had playing low and I was fiercely glad all of a sudden that she loved music. It made it easier, somehow, despite my own struggles.

The other day in the studio, I’d played around on my guitar before Kinsey showed up. I’d tried to write my own song for the millionth time, a catchy tune stuck in my head, but every time I tried to get it past basic idea stage, I froze.

What if the song was too upbeat? What if it was too dark? Too lyrical? Indecision froze me. Ben would tell me to write what I wanted to write, but I wasn’t sure what that was anymore.

What could I possibly do to follow up my last album? I’d listened to three times, which was more than I had in years. Ember’s fault, since she had most of my songs in all of her playlists.

The playlist switched over, and it was one of mine, a B-side lullaby style song I’d written in a fit of whimsy at the studio with Ben one night when we’d stayed late. It was a silly song about a man falling in love with the moon and coming back as a bird so he could sing his love to her again.

Ember sang along, making us some sandwiches, and her husky voice made the song sweeter.

I pushed some of her flame-colored hair off her shoulder, thinking maybe I should write a follow-up about a morning bird falling in love with the dawn.

She smiled. “I love this one. It’s so sweet.”

“It’s silly,” I said. “Ben made me include it.”

“It’s perfect. Classic ballad style.” She looked surprised. “What gave you the idea for it?”

I rubbed small circles on her back, loving these small moments with my packmates. “It was just a random bit of lyric that popped into my head. The bit about ‘the night is kind, but it plays me unfair. Bringing you close but leaving me here.’”

“It’s brilliant.” She beamed, like I was some sort of genius.

“Didn’t feel brilliant at the time.” I laughed. It was easier to talk about now. I’d written the song so long ago, and though it was one of my favorites, I didn’t have a deep intense connection to it the way I did “Roses and Ruins.” “It was just a fun little bit of music.”

She eyed me. “And music doesn’t feel like that anymore?”

“No.” I sighed. “I worry that what I’m writing it too dark, or too poppy, or it doesn’t sound right.”

I couldn’t look at her face. I couldn’t handle it if she looked hopeful or excited. My omega instincts wanted me to show off, to preen for her, but that made the pressure to perform worse. In the end, I would just disappoint her too. “I’ve had a half of a song stuck in my head for months, but every time I try to flesh it out…” I shrugged. “I overthink it? I guess? But I don’t know how not to do that.”

That was the worst part. I didn’t stop having ideas for songs, but somewhere in the process of making them, I lost confidence in myself. In what the song wanted to be.

Ember’s big blue eyes were serious. “Why did you stop making albums? It bothers you. I can tell. I figured you just stopped wanting to, but if songs are stuck in your head, that means the music is still there?”

Another urge to downplay things, but I ignored it. Ember had done more than bare her soul to me. All I saw on her face was curiosity and concern, and I had the urge to reach out through Ben to see what she was feeling.

But, of course, she wasn’t bonded yet. Something that was starting to feel like a missing piece inside my bond with Ben.

I rubbed the back of my neck, my hair falling around my hand. It was long enough to completely touch my shoulders now, and I needed a trim. “It’s complicated.”

“You don’t have to talk about it,” she said. “What do you want to watch tonight?”

“It’s okay.” I wrapped my arm around her waist. It was such a comfort, having her close to me. I never imagined feeling so much for someone other than Ben. It was almost a relief, knowing I could open myself up like that again. I put my chin on her shoulder. “I didn’t mean to go so long between albums. After From Ashes came out, it hit a bunch of charts, and I felt like I was in a dream.”

She frowned. “Or a nightmare?”

I didn’t hear any judgment, only concern. It gave me the courage to talk about it, all of it.

“Sort of. It was everything I ever dreamed of, making songs that touched people. But I didn’t expect From Ashes to do so well. I thought five people would listen to it, and that would be that. I was ready for obscurity. So when it took off, it was terrifying.”

She ran her hand through my hair. “That’s every artist’s dream, right?”

“I’d told myself when I was writing those songs that no one else had to hear them but me. Composing music is like baring my soul to the entire world. I still remember sitting on my bed as a teenager, writing ‘Breathe Beneath the Earth,’ feeling the start of my heat burning through me, feeling hopeless, like I’d never find a bondmate who felt what I felt.” I chuckled. “It feels so juvenile now, embarrassingly so.”

“No.” Ember looked shocked. “Rian. When you sang ‘Even the wind still calls your name, like the world won’t let me forget you stayed,’ like, it lives inside me.”

She touched her chest, blinking tears out of her eyes.

It was so humbling, seeing the direct impact I’d had on another human being. I loved her, with everything I had, but seeing how I’d helped her so many years ago made some of my own grief feel worth it.

Ember was like me. Music filled her up until it threatened to swallow her whole if it didn’t get out.

“It’s not juvenile; it’s raw and honest. When my designation triggered, I was mad.” She picked up my hand and kissed the back of it. “I was so mad. Here I was, laid up in the hospital, my parents dead, and now my body is like, ‘As an extra layer of hey, screw you, we’re going to flip into omega now.’”

I frowned. “That sounds like hell.”

“It was.” She shook her head. “But listening to ‘Roses and Ruins’ over and over helped. It felt like you wrote that for me, like you knew exactly the feelings of conflict and bitterness I’d felt.”

I squeezed her, hating that she had to go through that. I led her over to the couch, and she carried our sandwiches. “I’m glad it helped.”

“But now when you write, you worry it won’t be as well liked as From Ashes?”

“Or it won’t sound right. I start writing songs and then doubting myself. Should I make it more bluesy? Should it sound more upbeat?” I sighed. “Ben helped me a lot with which songs made the album. I was a basket case and overthought everything. I either wanted thirty songs on it or two. He helped me find my way through what felt right, what told the story.”

I pulled the blanket up over us, knowing my scent was souring. I couldn’t help it, all of the grief washing over me. “But as time went on, it was harder to know how I should finish a song. If I wanted to make it more pop, or more rock, or something in between. I kept comparing it to From Ashes and thinking my fans would hate this, or love that, and instead of me, my guitar, and my feelings, I also had my fans. And I didn’t want to disappoint them.”

I raked my hands through my hair. “My parents told me what a prodigy I was and asked why I wasn’t using my talent. The entire time, I was telling myself, ‘Write the songs already. Why do I have to overthink everything?’

“So now, whenever I have a song idea, it’s hard to separate it from what I want, what I think other people want, and everything in between.”

Ember wrinkled her nose. “That sucks.”

I laughed at her understatement. “It does. I know Ben loves me, and he wouldn’t care if I never wrote another song again…”

“But you’re not happy with that,” Ember finished. “We want you to be happy, and this is obviously eating you alive.”

I nodded, tears suddenly welling up in my eyes. It was so stupid, to be this twisted up about making music, but I was trapped in a hell of my own making. I cleared my throat. “I still get to make music.”

Ember frowned, pushing some hair out of my face. “Is it just when you’re trying to write your own songs? Or do you feel that twisted up when you’re playing guitar?”

“Only when I’m trying to work on my follow-up.” I felt guilty for some reason. “I still have lingering guilt that I should be able to write my own songs, but it’s easier to focus on what someone else has already written.”

Ember squeezed my hand. “Stop trying to write the follow-up to From Ashes. You could even use a different stage name. No one knows who you are anyway. You could just start fresh if you still want to make music.”

The idea was thrilling and terrifying all at once. “That feels like giving up.”

“Is it giving up? Or starting over?” She cocked her head. “Your follow-up album can’t hold all of your hopes, dreams, desires. That’s too much pressure. No wonder you’re crumbling.”

“I know,” I huffed. “I can’t make myself write songs for fun. Every time I tell myself not to think about my next album, the thoughts creep in anyway.”

Ember brightened up. “What if we sang songs for the fun of it? Not even, like, pop songs. What if we sang nursery songs?”

I frowned. “For practice? I practice a lot in the studio.”

“For the joy of it.” Ember grinned. “You need to remember what it was like to love music for its own sake. For the way it lets you feel things that are too big. Or small. Or feels wrong. We could sing kids’ songs. To remember the part of music that gives us joy.”

Something like hope kindled in my chest. That sounded nice, making music without any residual guilt and shame. Just doing it for the hell of it.

To make my omega smile.

“You’ll sing with me?” I asked. “We could go downstairs, and I could play?”

“Yes.” Ember beamed, more of that infectious joy engulfing me. “It will be so much fun! We could sing ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’ and ‘The Green Grass Grew All Around.’”

“Like we’re twelve and at summer camp?” I couldn’t help but smile. Suddenly I wanted nothing more than to sit around and sing silly songs with her.

“Exactly.” Ember tugged me, so I stood up and stole a kiss. “And then later we can make out.”

I followed her downstairs, ignoring our food, and pulled my favorite guitar down.

“You pick the first song.” I sat on the couch with her and warmed up with some strumming.

Ember shifted so she could look at me. “Let’s do ‘On Top of Old Smokey.’”

Ember started singing, her voice bright and clear. She had a wonderful singing voice, and she stayed well within her own range since she wasn’t trying to match someone else’s voice.

I joined her, singing the bits of the song I remembered, going through the verses about how the meatball rolled under a bush. Ember looked so pleased with herself, I couldn’t help but feel the same happiness.

She was right. Singing for the hell of it was enjoyable, and I missed this sort of fun. I didn’t feel pressure to write the next heartbreaking ballad while singing “The Wheels on the Bus.”

In the middle of “Down by the Bay,” Ben and West came home. Ben joined us on the piano. He didn’t even ask what he was doing and acted like it was completely reasonable to find his two omegas singing kids’ songs.

When the song stopped, Ember grabbed my forearm. “I don’t know why, but I want some of those shaky instruments. And West needs something.”

“West is fine,” the omega said from the couch.

Ember shook her head. “A tambourine or something. But don’t judge me. I have no rhythm.”

I stood up, getting a pair of carved wooden maracas. “I wouldn’t judge you.”

“You told me I went out of range,” she said, a hint of hurt in her voice. “When you caught me singing in the shower.”

I handed her a tambourine and West some maracas. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I was just trying to help. I’m too critical, and that bleeds over to people around me.”

“Forgiven,” she said.

Alejandro found us downstairs, singing “She’ll Be Coming ’Round the Mountain.” I found Alejandro some hand drums, and we sang more songs. We laughed when Alejandro kept messing up the beat and when West gave up in disgust, clapping along instead.

It was the perfect night.

I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this pack.

We went to the master bedroom and made love. When we were spent and tired, lying in each other’s arms, I curled around Ember and whispered, “You were right,” in her ear.

I felt better, like my soul was lighter than it had been. I’d made music for the fun of it. I’d forgotten what it felt like for music to be a joy and not feel like a burden or work.

“I’m always right,” she said, sounding sleepy.

I kissed her neck. “I love you.”

She squeezed her arms around me. “I love you too.”

I hummed the snippet of the song stuck in my head, thinking maybe I’d be able to make something of it after all.

Chapter 42

West

My omega instincts had never been happier. Which was good, because work was extra stressful. Between the unexpected heat and moving in, I couldn’t seem to catch up.

Something my boss kept reminding me of.

Despite knowing it was my house now, it was still weird staying home alone all day. I’d spent most of my remote days at Cosmic Bonds, but I stopped early for the day and went for a drive. I was getting annoyed at being in a random office, since spending my day in Ember’s office led to epic office sex, but neither of us got much work done.

I found myself at Talk of the Town without really planning on being there. Now I understood what Ember meant by the gravitational pull of the place.

But I shouldn’t bother Alejandro at work. I had my laptop; I could just go work in a coffee shop.

Or I could swing through and make sure the alpha didn’t need anything. I wasn’t curious about where he worked. Nope, not at all.

I sighed and got out of the car. Ember used the back door, but I wasn’t that comfortable. I walked into the double doors, thinking we should do a pack date here so Rian and Ben could ooh and ahh over Alejandro’s place of work.

The hostess was a pleasant beta girl barely out of her teens, and she looked at me brightly. “Hello, how many?”

“Uhhh…” I panicked. My mouth dried up like I had never spoken to another person ever. How stupid was it to show up and expect to just go into the kitchen, where Alejandro was busy working?

The girl had to have been trained well, because she waited pleasantly for me to get my shit together. Cold sweat broke out and I was about two seconds away from turning on my heel and fleeing. And then not telling anyone. I knew Alejandro wouldn’t mind me being here, but still, he had to be busy. I didn’t have the right to barge in and expect him to drop everything.

The restaurant looked busy too. A couple of open tables scattered the floor, but most of them were taken.

“Do you want to wait for your party?” The beta gestured behind her. “I have some tables open if you’re the first here.”

“I’m not,” I said, looking around for a hole to open up in the earth and let me escape. What was I going to do? Order lunch and then sit there and eat it by myself?

Sunshine passed through the dining room. She stopped and then turned to me. “West?”

I couldn’t decide if this was a better or worse turn of events. “Yes,” I said. That was my name.

“You here for Alejandro?” Sunshine walked over. “You could have come through the back.”

Suddenly I saw why Ember used the back door.

I nodded, unable to make words come out of my mouth.

“This is West, Alejandro’s omega,” Sunshine told the girl at the hostess stand.

She turned pink. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”

“We’re not bonded,” I muttered. “I didn’t introduce myself.”

Sunshine beamed and linked her arm in mine. “It’s okay, Daisy. I’ll take him back.”

“Have a nice lunch,” the girl said. Christ, she looked young.

I nodded at her and allowed Sunshine to lead me into the kitchen.

“You’re always welcome to use the back door, but the front is fine too,” she said briskly. “I know you, and you’re thinking that you’re going to bother them, but you’re not. He’ll be happy to see you, and if he’s in the middle of cooking, we get to sit at a side table and eat.”

I let myself relax a fraction. That matched Ember’s description of what happened when she came.

“You didn’t feel nervous before you were bonded into the pack?” I asked. Damn it, my mouth decided to work and here was a question I wasn’t sure I wanted to say out loud.

Not that I wasn’t happy for Sunshine, but it said too much about my own mental state.

“All the time.” She laughed. Her soft scent of linen and blue skies relaxed me. “I kept making up work reasons to come and help ‘plan the menus.’” She made air quotes. “It’s so much easier now that I can just wander in.”

A large door swung open into the kitchen. Logan, Alejandro, and three other chefs were cooking in front of a massive row of stoves and countertops. To the side was a smaller kitchen setup.

“Look who I found,” Sunshine said brightly.

Alejandro’s entire face lit up when he saw me. My nerves settled and gave a little twitch of happiness.

Of course he looked happy to see me. I’m good in bed and we’re dating.

My instincts settled, even though it was too noisy and busy to get a good whiff of him. Stupid omega hormones. I should not be relaxed just because I saw the alpha. I’d see him when I got back to the house. I didn’t have a good reason to be overjoyed to see Alejandro in the middle of the day.

Mine, mine, mine, my instincts said.

Sunshine showed me to the side table and brought me a drink. Alejandro waved. I nodded and opened my laptop. Sunshine thankfully had a pile of paperwork, so I wasn’t forced to make small talk with my omega’s cousin. She knew me well enough to know I sucked at it, and took pity on me.

It was on the tip of my tongue to ask her how bonding her pack had been, but I squelched that urge quickly. Definitely not in front of Alejandro.

Bonding was down the line. A long time from now. If I felt like it. Ever. I didn’t need to bond alphas to want them, and they didn’t seem to require me to bond them to show how much I cared about them.

The lunch rush slowed down, and Logan came over to Sunshine. He nodded at me before chatting with his beta.

Alejandro beamed at me, leaning his forearms on the countertop. “Is there anything special to which I owe the pleasure of your company, mi amor, or just because?”

“I got tired of working in a random space at Cosmic Bonds.” I sounded grumpier than I actually felt, but I didn’t see how Ember stood the noise and lights of the kitchen. “I also wanted to see where you worked,” I added. That cost me nothing to say.

“We have a room that’s not booked out.” This close, he smelled heavenly, like sweaty delicious alpha. He gestured at my laptop. “I could make you something to eat, get you away from these bright lights.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Sunshine frowned. “I could have taken you somewhere else.”

“It’s fine,” I said. “Alejandro is just being all…alpha-y.” I waved my hand.

And right, but he already knew that.

Alejandro looked smug but didn’t say anything. He showed me a small conference room to the side of the kitchen and came back ten minutes later with two plates. They were burgers and fries, Talk of the Town–style, of course. The fries were thick steak fries, and the burger was ground sirloin, with a toasted bun, lettuce, sautéed onion, and garlic aioli.

I raised an eyebrow. “What, no three-course meal with pasta you lovingly rolled yourself?”

Alejandro took off his white apron and sat down next to me. “Nope. Something good and simple. I can make you pasta from scratch later, when you’re in the mood for it.”

The alpha had my cravings pegged, because the cheeseburger hit the spot. Some of my cranky mood dissipated after I’d eaten the entire plate of food.

Maybe I was also hungry.

Alejandro looked tired but pleased.

“Okay, you were right,” I said, swirling the last fry through ketchup. “That was good.”

“Sometimes you just need a good cheeseburger.” Alejandro grinned, his brown eyes warm. “How’s work?”

“My project’s coming along. Boring.” I gestured at the kitchen. “Don’t let me keep you.”

“You won’t,” he said, brushing his hand over my wrist before eating some of his own fries. “I am allowed to take breaks. Logan isn’t running a sweatshop.” He tilted his head, and then grinned. “Forgot no one can hear me. Usually I get the peanut gallery’s witty commentary.”

“Are you working late tonight?” I asked.

“Nope. I worked late the last three nights. It’s Brianna’s turn.”

“Good.” I wasn’t sure what else to say. I was terrible at small talk, and I couldn’t get him to fuck me in the conference room, so I was at a loss.

“Am I working too much?” He cocked his head. “I’m working on cutting back, but the schedule is still pretty crazy.”

“You’re not neglecting us,” I said. “Restaurants are busy.”

“I want to be there more,” he said, looking at me. His tropical guanabana scent was easier to smell here, and it relaxed me more.

“So work it out in the future,” I replied. “I’m not going to say no to more time with you. But don’t feel guilty in the meantime.”

He nodded, seeming lighter.

“Having regrets?” I arched an eyebrow. “You didn’t think you were getting three other people when you started sending Ember lunch last year.”

Sweet god, what was wrong with me? My mouth was writing checks I could not cash today. I was just tired and cranky from too many changes.

“Regrets?” Alejandro took my hand and rubbed his cheek on the sensitive skin. “Hell no.”

I quietly prayed he’d turn it into a suave way to flirt.

Instead, the asshole went with sincerity. “I was more than happy to pack you a lunch too.”

“Without ever meeting me.”

“I scented both of you on Sunshine,” he said, watching me like I was a horse that was about to spook. He wasn’t wrong.

I let out a breath, reminding my instincts to calm the fuck down. We weren’t in any danger.

“After I saw you and Ember, got to know you…” He shook his head. “I was a goner. So no, no regrets.”

“It’s only been two months.” Give or take. I watched our fingers entwined together. His skin was darker than mine, a soft brown against the olive undertones of my own skin.

“It has been,” he agreed. His dimple flashed, and my cock twitched.

No, I told my hormones. We are not in a position to get laid.

“Ember’s worried that we’re all going to leave her,” I said. “After her parents died…”

He nodded. “I can’t promise her I’m not going to die. I can only give her space to process her grief.”

“And accept that she’s already in love,” I said. She’d said it before but repeating it felt bigger somehow. Like it was all just implied, easier to not think too much about.

“Yep.” Alejandro rubbed his thumb on my wrist. “My dad is a beta and my mom an omega. They’re in Mexico right now, but I’d like the pack to meet them when they come back in the winter.”

“Okay,” I said, knowing he was going somewhere with that line of thought.

“My parents are stupid in love. I used to make gagging noises as a kid.”

I smiled a little at that.

“But as I got older, I envied them. I saw my dad wake up every day, trying to be a better man, even if it was in a small way, for my mom. And my mom did the same.”

I snorted. “I don’t know if I can say I’m a little better every day. There is definitely some backsliding.”

Especially lately, I thought.

“Not a better person,” he said. “Just trying to do better. I was terrible yesterday. I came home, gave everyone a kiss, and passed out.”

He did. He didn’t make it two minutes into the chef show before he was lightly snoring. “That was fine. You’re cute when you sleep.”

He smiled. “See? I thought I sucked, and you were fine with it.”

I fiddled with my plate. I felt less stressed out for some reason, and it wasn’t just because I liked his scent. I knew Alejandro cared about me, about Ember. About Ben and Rian.

Hearing his worries and fears along with his desire to be better made him feel more…relatable.

“These are all mostly good changes,” I said finally. “But I don’t like change at all so it’s still making me cranky even though I should be dancing around, happy.”

“You’re allowed to be cranky because everything is changing too much.” Alejandro nodded like I was being perfectly reasonable and not unhinged.

Boo-hoo, too many good things were happening to me. My teenage self would have killed to be here, right now, feeling safe alone in a room with an alpha.

More than safe. I was plotting the next time I could get him to fuck me.

“I decided to move here with my parents,” Alejandro added. “It was exciting. Logan was opening a new restaurant and wanted me to be sous chef. I helped him design the menu, the seating area, the name.” He shook his head.

I looked around. “It’s nice. Fancy without being snobby.”

“I was utterly certain I was going to fuck it up,” he said. “I just cook food. What do I know about running an actual restaurant? Logan walked me through the finances I had already helped with, the seating arrangements, everything.”

I nodded to let him know I was listening.

He smiled, soft and genuine. “I knew more than I thought, but still. It all seemed like it was too good to be true. I was sure I would screw up. I used to have nightmares of opening night, realizing I forgot to order silverware.” He kept holding my hand, his skin warming mine. “I told Logan and he laughed and said if I forgot to order silverware he’d borrow some until the order came in.” He patted my hand. “There was nothing to screw up. I did forget things. I messed up the napkin order and that seemed like the end of the world at the time, and now it’s hilarious. The guys still give me hell about making sure I order the right napkins.”

I smirked, filing that away so I could tell the entire rest of the pack to spring on Alejandro at a later date.

“But it was fine. We had the wrong napkins until the right ones came in.” He shrugged.

I gave him a withering look. “People aren’t napkins. You’re telling me things will be fine, and I can’t screw up, but I can and will.”

“Sure you will, just like me.” He gave me a big grin. “And then we’ll figure out the fix and move on.”

“It’s not that easy.” I scowled. We were back to me and my issues. I preferred the part of the conversation where he told me all his secret worries and fears.

“It’s simple, not easy.” He kissed the back of my hand. “It was hard, I’m sure, for you to trust Ember.”

My scowl got deeper, and I debated if he was going to pry, ask why I had such trust issues.

“I’m scared I’m going to mess up,” he said instead. “And I had loving parents who still nag me about when I’m going to settle down.”

“You can get them off your back now,” I said. “There’s that.”

“I can,” he said. “I just want you to know it’s okay to be annoyed about changes, even though it’s good and happy changes. There’s nothing wrong with feeling cautious. And you’re not going to screw anything up.”

I wanted to refute it, but so far, evidence proved the contrary. Ember had a panic attack and we went into heat, and so far the pack had just rolled with the punches. Neither of us had enjoyed nest shopping, so instead we went shopping for random stuff we didn’t need and it was better.

“I’m glad you came.” He kissed the back of my hand.

“Keep doing that, and I’ll find a place to drag you off to.”

He gave me a heated look. “Who says I don’t already have a supply closet in mind?”

I was very tempted, but public sex did nothing for me. Too…exposed. I squinted at him. “Go back to work, alpha. You’re distracting me from my own job.”

“Fair enough, my amor.” He stood up and leaned over, his tropical scent invading me. He pressed his mouth against mine, and for a moment I lost myself into the kiss.

It wasn’t just about lust or desire. I needed his mouth; I couldn’t picture not being able to touch him like this. His mouth was soft, and he tasted a little salty, and I lost myself in the feel of him.

I could do this forever, I thought. I feathered my fingers over his cheek, touching the smooth skin. Knowing he would never hurt me, never a lay a hand on me in anger. I wasn’t afraid of him or of any potential future where he would use his words or body to hurt me like so many alphas had.

I trusted him. I froze, and he sealed the kiss. I made a small noise. I didn’t want him to stop and leaned forward enough that he returned the kiss.

We kissed until I was out of breath, and then I leaned my forehead against him. It felt like a miracle to trust this man, to trust anyone but Ember and her family.

Maybe if I could trust him, bonding was on the table. Someday, in the future.

I rubbed my cheek against his. “Go back to work. Bring me snacks later,” I said, my voice hoarse.

“Anything,” he said. The romantic bastard used a tone of voice that made it clear he wasn’t just talking about food.

I sighed. “Me too. I…love you too.”

There. Some feelings. He deserved as much.

His face lit up and he kissed me again. “I love you too. You’re making it very hard to go back to work.”

“Pretty sure Logan is going to come looking for you in a minute,” I said, still rubbing my cheek on his shoulder.

“You want to make that bet?” He gave me a saucy grin.

I shook my head. “My boss will have my head if I don’t finish this. Or, worse, make me come into the office more.”

“All right, all right.” He stepped back, dragging his hand down my arm. “I’ll return to work and check on you later.”

True to his word, he let me work in peace. The conference room was small, and with the door shut I didn’t hear the sounds of the restaurant as much. Alejandro brought me a steady supply of drinks and food and then went back to work.

It was a nice day, and my instincts settled. I could see myself going between Cosmic Bonds and the restaurant until I got used to the house. Maybe I could even crash the studio, I pondered.

It took until later in the night, after we were all tangled in one another’s arms in Rian’s nest, for me to realize that I was searching for my place in the pack, for who I was when I was around them. I knew who I was around Ember, but the other men were question marks.

Slowly, I was carving out a place with them, forging connections that Ember brought to me but didn’t require her presence.

It was sort of nice, as strange as it was.

Chapter 43

Rian

Icame home early, my head filled with half songs and tracks for the album we were recording.

I’d expected to be alone, but when I walked into the living room, Alejandro was there. The coffee table looked like a paper explosion, with lists and menus scattered everywhere.

“This is a nice surprise.” I tossed my laptop onto the armchair. “Did you get free from work early?”

“I did,” he said. He was still wearing his work clothes, so a soft T-shirt with black-and-white checkered pants. He looked yummy in them, and I didn’t bother resisting the urge. I walked straight over to his chair and climbed into his lap.

“Hi.” He grinned. “I had overtime, so the boss took pity on me and let me go.”

I looked at the coffee table. “So you came home and instead of relaxing you’re doing…menus.”

“For us,” he said. He wrapped his arm around my waist, and I breathed in the guanabana tropical green scent of my other alpha. I rubbed my face on his cheek. A couple of weeks ago, I didn’t know who he was. Now I couldn’t imagine life without him.

I kept expecting to feel weird around him. Like maybe I was stealing Ember’s alpha, or maybe Ben would get jealous, but that never manifested. Instead, the five of us just felt right, especially now that we were living together.

My old fears of being rejected resurfaced for a moment. Sure, they wanted me now, but several months of me being neurotic about…everything, and it would get old.

I squashed the thought. It was an old wound that haunted me, nothing more.

“We don’t need a four-course meal all the time,” I said, even though we mostly ate normal things. “I didn’t realize how much planning went into feeding five people.”

When it was just me and Ben, we ate a lot of takeout, or occasionally I cooked really simple meals like spaghetti, or chicken and rice.

“I like it.” He kissed my cheek. “Helps me focus.” He picked up a piece of paper, and it was a long list of snacks. “I like making long lists of things and then narrowing it down and grouping things together. Like if we have pulled pork one night, we could have carnitas another night.”

“Makes sense. I could go shopping with you?” I gestured at the grocery list. “I used to do a lot of the shopping, or we’d order groceries online.”

“I was going to go to the farmer’s market.” He rubbed his cheek against mine. “But if you’d rather stay in and rest, that’s fine. What do you owe your freedom to?”

“Someone canceled so we moved some other artists around,” I said. “Ben stayed because he’s the sound producer on both albums but I’m not needed for this part.”

“Sounds glamorous and chaotic.” Alejandro grinned. “Like being a chef.”

“Exactly.” Reluctantly I slid off his lap. We could do sexy things later. “Let’s go get food for our pack.”

The thought built a warm bubble inside me. I had a pack. We were a pack.

Alejandro drove, and I let myself relax. Pushed aside my worries about my career and failings and tried to just live in the moment.

We’d checked in with the police about who had trashed Ember and West’s nest, and so far they had no leads. It burned me, that someone out there was making my omegas feel unsafe. But until we had something more to go on, we were stuck.

In the meantime, we would hover around them. I opened the group chat and texted a message, asking if anyone had any cravings for the week, because Alejandro and I were going to the store.

Ember: be careful

“Ember is making sure we’ll be careful,” I told Alejandro since he was driving. “And also we’re out of chocolate-covered pretzels.”

“They’re already on the list,” Alejandro grinned. “But good to know.”

I asked him about work that week, their spring menu, and it was nice to hear about the world of cooking for a little while. Alejandro pulled into an open-air farmer’s market. The space held rows and rows of food, fresh honey and bread, homemade jam, and all sorts of things.

At first, we just wandered. I’d expected a search-and-destroy sort of mission, but Alejandro picked up a grapefruit, set it down, and wandered down the next aisle.

“Thinking?” I followed behind him.

“Yes, musing.” He handed me some oranges. “I like touching the produce, thinking about the dishes.”

“Sounds…creative.” I smoothed my hair back, pulling it into a low ponytail. “I guess cooking uses a lot more creativity than I realized.”

“Oh, it can be really specific and exact. But it also requires creativity.” Alejandro picked up a bunch of mangoes. “Sometimes I feel like I’m all washed up. How many more dishes can I come up with? They’ve all been done before.”

“Sounds like music.” I wrinkled my nose.

“Very much so.” Alejandro put some mangoes into the basket. “I go through periods where I just make the dishes I’m supposed to make, do the work, you know? But sometimes I think, what if I made a new dish?”

“Do you want your own restaurant someday?” The air was chilly, but it felt nice against my jacket, and there was something calming about wandering around the aisles. Alejandro was very at home, and it was like seeing another facet of him.

“I’m supposed to.” He smiled. “But no, not really.”

“What do you mean, supposed to?”

He sighed. “I’m a sous chef. Next step up is opening my own restaurant, designing a menu, and so on. And I have the experience for it. I just don’t want to.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being a sous chef forever,” I said, coming to his defense. He was amused but also making fun of himself a little bit. I didn’t like it.

“My parents were so impressed with my career. Early on, running a Michelin-starred restaurant.”

“Less impressed now?”

“They worry I’m holding myself back.” He shook his head. “They love me, but you know. They want the best for me.”

“Tell me about it.” I rolled my eyes. “My parents keep asking when I’m going to make my own music and instead of making other people rich?”

“Exactly that, mi amor.” Alejandro picked up a long green leafy fruit. “They seem to think I have to be in charge of everything to be using my talents all the way.” He shrugged. “I love my job, but opening a restaurant is murder and I don’t want to sacrifice this just for the sake of my own name on the door.” He gestured between us.

“We would support you if that’s what you wanted,” I said.

“I know.” He grinned, showing a dimple. I briefly considered finding a small dark place to drag him off to. “But I don’t want to. I’ve already arranged my schedule to have more time off. I’d rather have a better work-life balance, now that I have something I’m coming home to.”

That was it. Ben and I had each other, but now it felt like we were going home to a family, not just the place we lived.

“So if you want to play guitar the rest of your life, then have at it.” Alejandro nodded at me, picking up some jicama.

“I don’t, though.” I sighed. “It was nice, the other night, making music just for the fun of it. I wish I could get there again.”

“You can,” Alejandro said. “I go through long periods of just making the same dish over and over. And then inspiration strikes, and I’m off again. It’s a tough process, and you have to be willing to make mistakes.” He gave me a look. “You’re too much of a perfectionist.”

“I know.” I rolled my eyes. Ben told me that twice a week or more. “I can’t help it.”

“You can. It’s just really hard.” He nodded at me. “I was in a perfectionism rut, and then Logan made me burn dishes on purpose.” He shuddered, a look of pure horror on his face.

“Burn dishes?”

“Yes. He’d ask me to make a steak dish and then stand there and make me watch as it burned. And then overcook the rice. And then overseason the veggies.” Alejandro shook his head. “It felt like the worse thing in the entire world. And then the bastard took a bite.”

My jaw dropped. I could relate too well. It would be like someone hearing my early trash attempts at writing songs.

“He said it wasn’t the worst dish he’d ever had, and guess what? It was fine to fail sometimes.” Alejandro added some cucumbers and then I added more mangoes, craving them for some reason.

“It does feel like the worst thing, failing.”

“But once you fail, you remember it’s going to happen; you can’t stop it. And putting pressure on yourself to be perfect is making yourself miserable.” Alejandro raked his hand through his hair. “Sometimes I still burn something on purpose. I’ll get really in my head about everything being just so, like when we had our big event and the pork was on the dry side. I was a wreck. So I cooked some eggs and burned the heck out of them and then slid them into the trash, sending a prayer to the kitchen gods. It was amusing and reminded me not to take myself so seriously.” He turned to me, giving me the full weight of his attention. “So I hereby give you permission to suck.”

Heat raced through me, and I looked him over. “So long as I have permission.”

He laughed, rubbing his hand on my shoulder. “Brat. I’ll fuck you later. I mean, you have permission to go home and write the worst song you possibly can think of.”

I made a face.

He laughed. “I know, easier said than done. Make it a game. Whatever feels ‘wrong,’ lean into it. Maybe you write a moody gothic ballad. Maybe you rhyme things terribly. Maybe you try your hand at Swedish death metal.”

I blinked. “Ember told me I could start over. Have a different name if I wanted.”

“Exactly. You’re not doing it for the follow-up album, or even to write a good song. You’re just trying to have fun. Amuse yourself because this is how your brain is wired.” He gestured around us. “Just like my brain is wired to like cooking.”

“Swedish death metal?” I arched an eyebrow. “I don’t have the electric guitar chops for that.”

“Even better,” Alejandro said brightly. “You’ll really suck at it, then.”

I laughed and followed him around the marketplace. I made a mental note to drag the entire pack here. Ember would pop around like a pixie and grab random ingredients for Alejandro. Ben could feel and smell the produce without feeling self-conscious, and West and I could make dry commentary on everyone.

My mind churned at the idea of writing a crappy song outside of my normal methods just for the hell of it. I could do that. It wasn’t like my current way of browbeating myself was actually working. If I wrote something and it veered way into melodrama, well, that was my brain’s own fault for not letting me write something more normal.

I told Alejandro I was going to check out the bread and pies, thinking we could bring some treats home. I stared at the wooden shelf filled with cherry, apple, strawberry rhubarb, and other pies. Another shelf had banana, pumpkin, zucchini, and lemon poppyseed breads.

“Hey, omega.” A gruff voice next to me brought with it the scent of motor oil and leather. “You smell sweet.”

I looked to my side. A tall alpha with a goatee and an undercut was leering at me.

Inwardly I sighed. I did not receive as much attention in public as Ember did, but a portion of the population had a fetish for male omegas.

“I’m taken.” I pulled the collar of my shirt to the side, showing Ben’s bondmark. When Ben bonded me, he wanted to know where I wanted it, and I picked the most popular spot because I wanted everyone to know I belonged to him.

When I asked Alejandro for his bondmark, I wondered if I wanted it somewhere private or somewhere public. So I could show this asshole alpha two bondmarks.

“Always room for more.” He stepped closer into my space as I took a step back. The alpha was over six feet tall with wide shoulders and a physical presence that said he was used to using his body to get what he wanted.

“No, thank you,” I said, backing up almost into the side aisle. “My pack is full.” He had to have smelled my other packmates on me. Including Alejandro.

“Awww, come on.” He reached out for me, and Alejandro slipped between us. He grabbed the alpha’s hand and twisted it to the side.

The alpha yelped in pain, his face deepening into a scowl.

“He said no. Twice.” Alejandro’s voice was cold and commanding. My omega instincts immediately began to purr.

“Pretty boy, I could—” the alpha started, but Alejandro continued twisting the other alpha’s hand until he went white.

“If you don’t walk away right now, I will break every bone in your hand for daring to try to touch my omega,” my alpha said calmly. Like he was commenting on the weather.

The alpha took one look at Alejandro’s face and then nodded. “Fine, fine.”

Alejandro released him but stayed put and watched as the man glared at us both and then left.

He turned to me. I yanked him into a searing kiss, my cock rock-hard. It was a public place, but I didn’t care.

He met me, using his teeth and mouth and lips and tongue to claim me.

I pulled away, panting. I rubbed my cheek against his, scenting marking him again. “Can we go home now?”

“Yes,” he growled.

He paid for our food, and we loaded up the car. He drove, leaving me free to distract him. I ran my hands up his sides. “I’d say pull over and rail me in the car, but I want to be knotted.”

Alejandro hissed and increased the speed.

“You’re so laid-back.” I kissed his free hand. “Which I love. But it’s nice to see another side come out too.”

“No one is allowed to touch you. Except the pack.” He growled.

He pulled into the driveway and put the car in park before dragging me over to him and plunging his tongue into my mouth.

I moaned, raking my hands through his hair. He leaned over the seat, using his body weight to make me feel enclosed.

I dragged him out of the car with a whimper, and we made it as far as my nest before he pounced. I tore off his shirt, running my hands up his chest with a sigh. I licked a trail, and he sighed. “You are maddening. Your scent drives me insane.”

I shoved my hair out of my face. “I can say the same thing about you. I have never wanted so many tropical fruits in my entire life.”

I pushed him onto his back, rubbing his cock through his pants.

His cock was already hard, and I moaned. “I want you to be bossy,” I said. The thought made heat race through me, my cock hard and leaking. “Make me pleasure you.”

Alejandro groaned. “Tell me if it’s too much.”

“I will.” I looked up at him, letting him see how hot and bothered he made me. “But it won’t be.”

Alejandro’s pupils were blown black, and he groaned. “Use that mouth for something better than smarting off. Suck my cock, omega.”

My entire freaking body went up in flames, and all my omega instincts soothed. I was ready to roll over and present, but that wasn’t what my alpha told me to do.

I made my way down his body, kissing and licking until I hit his thick cock. My own dick jumped, remembering how good it felt having him thrust inside me. I swirled my tongue around the weeping head, and he groaned, digging his hand in my hair.

“God, yes, good omega. Suck my cock. You know you want it.”

I hummed, taking him in my mouth. I sucked all the way down until I almost choked, egged on by the strangled noises my alpha was making. Through our bond, Ben was faintly amused, and I hoped I was distracting him while he worked.

I pulled off and Alejandro let out a strangled groan. I put his hands in my hair again, panting. “Rougher, alpha, like you mean it.”

Alejandro groaned. “Fuck, your mouth.”

I sucked him down again, but this time he thrust into me, and I rubbed my hips into the blankets. Part of me wished one of our other packmates were here to suck my cock and give me some relief, but it was also nice to be just the two of us.

Alejandro fucked my mouth, making me gag a few times, but I gave him the thumbs-up so he wouldn’t stop.

My eyes watered, but my brain turned off, giving over to the feeling of my alpha’s cock in my mouth. My alpha used my mouth until he grunted, pulling out.

I stifled a whine, but he grabbed my shoulders and rolled me onto my stomach.

“Gonna use all your holes,” he panted. I caught a brief glimpse of his face, and his pupils were wide, like he was close to a rut. Desire coursed through me at the thought of making him that needy, and my sweet amber scent burst into my nest.

“You want that?” He grabbed my hips, yanking me up.

I whined, presenting for him. “Oh god, take me, alpha.” My cock was rock hard.

“Fuck, Rian. You are so damn sexy.” He grunted.

I tucked my knees under my chest, giving him a better angle.

Alejandro kept one hand on my ass, and with the other he reached for the bottle of lube. He poured a liberal amount over me, running his hands over the globes of my ass.

I wanted him. I wanted him more than I could want anyone other than Ben. My omega instincts were thrilled to have another alpha around, someone else to fuck and cherish me.

Alejandro put a condom on and pressed the tip of his cock against me. I whined, loudly, the amber and moss scent of my perfume filling the nest.

My alpha growled, pressing into me deeper. I groaned, just the little bit of pressure from him feeling amazing.

“That’s it,” Alejandro said, reaching around to stroke my weeping cock. “That’s it. Take my cock. Good omega.”

Oh, fuck. I bucked my hips, trying to take him in deeper, but he let out a throaty chuckle.

“That’s it? You want my cock?”

“Please,” I gasped. His hand on my cock wasn’t enough. He gave me a squeeze and slid the rest of the way inside me.

I whined again as he slowly moved. No amount of twisting from me made him move faster.

He slapped my hip. “Don’t rush me, omega. I’m going to take my sweet time fucking you. Because I can, and you’re mine.”

Fucking fuck. I whined, grinding my hips against the soft pillows of the nest. I caught a whiff of Ben’s spicy woods and currant scent, and it made me harder. Alejandro ignored my pleas, sliding in and out of me slowly, leisurely, like he wasn’t destroying me with his cock and his scent.

Alejandro tugged on my cock, and I whined. He started jerking me faster, the pace completely at odds with the pace he was setting inside me. I gasped, his finger squeezing the head of my dick and then jerking faster. He bottomed out inside me, his knot hitting my entrance and I let out a garbled yell.

“What do you want?” his voice strained.

“Fuck me, alpha. Take me with your gorgeous cock,” I begged, need twisting inside me. I wanted everything. I wanted the sweet hot oblivion.

He cursed, pushing harder inside me. For long minutes it was just him rutting against me, the slap of our bodies, his grunts of pleasure, and his hand like a vice around my cock.

Pleasure built deep inside me, spiraling out until I gasped and came. My alpha grunted, thrusting twice before knotting me. I came again, writhing against the blankets.

Alejandro’s scent and weight made me feel safe, my hindbrain relaxing. He purred, caressing his hand down my arm.

I rubbed my face on his forearm, joy seeping through me.

“When you bond me,” I said, my voice raspy, “I want it somewhere visible. Where everyone can see.”

Alejandro purred, and his cock twitched inside me. “Like your forehead.”

“No.” I swatted him, thinking the “when we bond” portion might be coming a lot sooner than I thought. “Forearm. Shoulder. Neck. Collarbone.”

“Mmm, I like that.” He kissed the back of my neck. “In the meantime, I should bite you in all those places, see what gives the best reaction.”

He proceeded to mark me with love bites everywhere, making me come again and again.

I’d have to check in with Ember and soon. I didn’t want to be the first to be bonded, but with each passing day I wasn’t sure I’d be able to last much longer.

This was my pack and I wanted to be as close to them as I could be.

Chapter 44

Ember

The worst part about being stalked, aside from the whole jangled sense of security, was the tedious waiting. It had been weeks, and some days I felt like I could crawl the walls.

I didn’t have any more threatening texts, any more photos, nothing. I’d kept my number the same, and Raina screened the Cosmic Bonds mail, but so far, nothing.

It was like after the asshole destroyed my nest, he decided to back off. I’d spoken to several detectives and they all said stalkers were unpredictable.

He could have been following me for years, or only months. The texts came from a burner phone, and the photos had been dropped off by hand. The police couldn’t trace it back to a suspect with no evidence.

No hairs, fingerprints, nothing. It felt impossible, given the level of destruction, but the knife he’d used to rip up the pillows and blankets was a basic box knife, found anywhere in a hardware store. He cleaned up after himself, and the few strands of hair they’d found at the scene weren’t in any database they ran.

Ben hired a private investigator, who was digging into other avenues, but until they had suspects to link evidence to, they were at an impasse.

Work somehow stayed the same. I worked with my clients, showing them their matches, and talking to my family about the next events. Everyone made sure to stop by my office, something that impinged on my sexy lunch time with West, but they were determined.

I was slowly going crazy. I was used to being able to go to the beach without finding someone to come with me, but everyone in my life agreed they didn’t want to leave me alone.

My stomach tightened and my skin crawled at being alone, so I didn’t fight it. It kept me cooped up between the office, the house, and sometimes the store. The building security was top-notch, so when I did go to Computer Solutions, West rode with me and we checked in via group chat.

I was stuck in my office on a nice day and had the window open. I’d spent the morning wandering the grounds in between intakes. We had cameras everywhere now, and even though the lodge wasn’t booked solid like it would be in another month or two, we had residents.

Terran and Zephyr were doing work on the cottages to prep for our busy season, and I nodded at them. I wandered over to the place the new duck pond would be and sent another subtle update to everyone’s business emails about the Operation: Quackers update.

The update, of course, was spring was the best time to install a new water feature. I was totally making that part up, but I didn’t care. It made me cackle.

Terran approached me from the south lawn, looking slightly sweaty. He raised an eyebrow. “Still pushing the duck pond agenda?”

I spread my arms out. “Picture it. Your tai chi class in front of a beautiful turtle pond, the gentle sound of water helping you balance everyone’s chi.”

He looked amused. “I have to run some errands in town. Do you want to come?”

“You’re going to let me leave?” I gestured around us.

“Zephyr knows where we’re going. Besides.” Terran cracked his knuckles. “If someone tries to touch you, I’ll just punch their lights out.”

My younger brother was usually the most laid-back of all of us, but he could be bloodthirsty when he needed to be. I looked at his shoulders. Almost a head taller than me, he was broad in the chest, and he had biceps for days. He liked to spend his free time working out or running, not that he needed the extra work.

“Ughh, fine.” I rolled my eyes. “No need to remind your sister that you’re ripped.”

“I’m not that ripped,” he said.

The poor boy actually meant it too. I shook my head, deciding I wouldn’t argue with him about his biceps having little, smaller biceps. Zephyr was taller, but Terran was built stockier.

I followed Terran to his truck, excited about the sudden field trip. I jumped into the passenger seat and held up my phone. “I’m going to let my pack know I’m going on errands, or they’ll all flip their collective shit when my GPS moves.”

I decided to allow the “find my location” feature on my phone, just in case.

Terran pulled out of the gravel parking lot. “Your pack?”

“Yes,” I said, typing into the group chat to the mother hens that I wasn’t being kidnapped, just running errands.

“Your pack?” he repeated and it took a minute to sink in.

Not “the” pack. My pack.

He was grinning like Christmas had come early. “It seems like the key to finding alphas you liked was adding another omega.”

“No. Yes. I mean, the key was they weren’t douches who acted like their knot was the only thing going for them.” I shoved his shoulder. “And they like West just as much as me.”

“Good,” Terran said. “I’m glad you’re happy.”

“Me too,” I said, some worry creeping in. I was happy. Deliciously happy. If something happened, I would be crushed.

It wasn’t even that I was worried they would leave me. I tried, and failed, to picture something that would make them break up with me.

I’d had a panic attack in front of them, I had my nest destroyed, and through everything they were supportive and sweet.

“What are you worrying about?” My brother nudged me. The window was down, and the salty spray of the ocean was wonderful on my face.

“Everything,” I replied immediately.

“We’re going to find out who destroyed your nest and then take them apart piece by piece,” he said.

“I mean…” I swallowed hard, fiddling with the hem on my jacket. “What if something happens with my pack? I’ve never been…this attached to so many people before.”

“I’m wounded,” Terran said with a grin.

“Brat.” I shoved his shoulder again. “I mean lovers. I’m stuck loving all of you. But being stalked is reminding me too well that I can’t control all the bad stuff that happens in life.”

Terran sucked in air between his teeth. He was quiet for a while, and I suddenly hoped that whatever person or pack he wound up with would let him think as long as he wanted, instead of talking over him like his ex did.

“You can’t control everything,” he said finally. “Your issue isn’t with being in love.”

In love. My heart squeezed at the thought. I might as well chuck my heart into the ocean and hope the fish didn’t eat it.

“Your issue is with life itself.” He gestured around us. “You’re going to love people, and you’ll open yourself up to loss. Something you know too well.”

“You too,” I said quietly. Hating that somehow I managed to bring up our parents and make my baby brother sad. “You lost them too.”

“I did,” he agreed, and squeezed my hand. He pulled into a side street and found a place to park in town. The street was quiet this time of day, with only a scattering of tourists walking down the sidewalk. It was a bit too early for spring flowers to be in bloom, but in another couple of weeks, the green belt running through the middle of the road would be a riot of colors. “But it wasn’t shoved in my face like you, Ember. It’s okay to feel that loss differently from the rest of us, honey.”

I scowled. It felt wrong, somehow, to say I grieved our parents deeper than the rest of my family. They all mourned our parents in their own way but…it had taken years for me to be okay again.

“I lost my parents one night when a phone call changed everything.” Terran turned to face me. “But I almost lost you too, and I can’t help but also feel grateful that you’re still here.”

My eyes welled up with tears, and I swallowed hard.

“You already love them, Em. You’re not getting around that. You’ll feel worse if you don’t let yourself enjoy all the perks of being happy, having a pack, and then realize in ten years you were holding back the entire time.”

I grumbled. He was right. “It’s still scary.”

“Oh, scary as hell.”

I climbed out, and he came around to my side right away, scanning the street. I hated the stalker with fresh ire for putting such a cautious look on my brother’s face.

“You’re already in love. Might as well let go.” Terran put his arm around my shoulders.

“Right, throw myself off a cliff,” I muttered.

“You can’t stop loving West. Or me. Or the rest of us.” My brother shrugged like it was nothing, instead of my biggest fears. “They will be there to catch you if you fall.”

We entered the hardware store, and I wandered around while Terran bought some stuff. Nails, or hammers, or whatever he needed for the resort, and then we kept walking down Main Street.

One More Page, the local bookstore, was ahead. I tugged on Terran’s sleeve. “Can we go in? I need the next book in Daggers and Designations. You could preorder the next Oath of Ash and Wing?”

Terran grinned. “Of course. Why else would we be in town?”

We opened the door to the bookstore. A small coffee bar sat to the side of the main area. It was the picture-perfect idealization of what a small-town bookstore with a coffee bar should be, the platonic ideal of all bookstores everywhere. It had two stories, the top floor accessible through a winding staircase or elevator, and books covered every surface. The couches and armchairs stuffed into the corners were soft and comfy, with hardwood tables and cool lamps.

The checkout counter was hardwood and looked like an old-fashioned hotel counter. The walls were sage green with a maple trim.

The coffee bar was small, and they only served a few different drinks, but the chai tea was amazing.

Beatrice, a beta girl with hair she dyed a different color every week, usually ran the shop. I scanned the store but saw only a hunky alpha putting books on the shelves. He smiled at both of us. “Welcome. Can I can help you find anything?”

“Where’s Beatrice?” I frowned, immediately suspicious of anything outside of my routine.

“She’s visiting her mom,” he said almost apologetically. He was good-looking, with long eyelashes and nut-brown skin. His glossy back hair was tousled and he wore dark wash jeans with a white T-shirt. “I’m afraid you’re stuck with me for the time being. I’m Dominic but most people call me Dom.”

He smelled good, like being near the ocean on a sunny day, all watery minerals with a hint of citrus.

“So long as you know where the romantasy is,” I said, mollified.

“We got a new shipment in,” he said, gesturing at a thick stack of books. Terran and I made a beeline for the books.

Terran handed me the next books in my current series, and we picked up extras for Holly and Holly’s stepdaughter, Mari. We had a book club going and I felt proud we’d managed to get our hands on it first.

Terran glanced over at Dom again, and I hid my smile. The alpha did smell good. Not enough to tempt me, but maybe I wasn’t the only one who noticed. I’d never seen Terran give a guy a second look, but there was a first time for everything.

I approached the counter with my haul, and Dom smiled. “Found some books you liked?”

“Yes, thanks.” I tapped Terran’s shoulder. “Pay up, brother.”

Just so the alpha would know we weren’t together.

The alpha gave Terran a warm smile and looked him over. Terran looked like he had just finished yard work, because he had. His jeans had holes and grass stains, and his T-shirt had a few dirt smudges.

None of that seemed to deter the alpha. “My omega is obsessed with the Oath of Ash and Wing series too.”

Terran perked up. “Oh? Most readers like Stormbound more.”

Dom shook his head, still giving my brother the same thousand-watt smile. “He says Oath of Ash and Wings has better plot twists and in-depth worldbuilding.”

I hit Terran’s shoulder. “That’s what Terran says. You should invite him to the book club.”

“Sure.” My idiot brother nodded, the heat in the alpha’s gaze going right over his head. I rolled my eyes heavenward, praying for strength. When Alejandro or Ben looked at me like that, it felt like my panties would combust.

How did Terran not see his flirting?

“We’ll have to take you up on your offer.” The alpha gestured around the store. “We could use some of the rooms if you don’t have a space? We’ve been wanting to start up a book club.”

“Oh, we use the lodge,” Terran said, rubbing the back of his neck. “But this is the best bookshop in the area, so I’m sure…” He paused and looked at me. “We wouldn’t mind changing up venues?”

“I’d love that,” Dom said, almost purring.

A male omega bounced down the spiral staircase. “I’m coming, Jesus, Dom.” He had curly brown hair that hit his shoulder, sort of like Rian’s, and pale skin.

“Oh, hi.” He smiled at me and then paused on Terran. “Hi, I’m Ezra.”

“Nice to meet you,” I said brightly. Maybe I should move up the dating pool bet on Terran sooner. And not tell a single family member why.

“This is my omega,” Dom said, his eyes on Terran. “Terran thinks Oath of Ash and Wing is better than Stormbound too.”

The omega’s eyes lit up. “Right? The worldbuilding alone. And then the twist with the Nightbloom dagger being traced back to the Ever King?”

Terran nodded, but he had the same pleasant look he gave Hank the hardware dude. Judging from how he was angled toward the male omega, he wasn’t unaffected, but didn’t pick up on the flirtation. I wished I could develop telepathy and tell him to amp up the beta charm.

“I’m going to check out the mysteries,” I said, sliding back.

Terran was instantly alert. “I’ll come with you.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’ll be fine.”

Terran crossed his arms over his chest. “Sure, you will.”

I heaved a sigh. I was going to have to help him out. I looked at Dom. “Sorry. He’s dense. We’d like to have book club here or at Cosmic Bonds. Where we work.” I jerked a thumb in the general direction of “out.”

“Really? I always wanted to try that,” Ezra said. “But the thought of meeting so many strange people make me want to crawl into a hole and die.”

“It can be a really slow process too,” Terran said softly, using his gentle intake voice. The voice that calmed the most anxious person down. “However you prefer.”

Ezra’s blue eyes lit up. “That sounds really nice. Maybe book club first?” He looked at our stack of books. “I need fresh victims to listen to my theories.”

“Boy, does he,” Dom muttered, putting our books in a tote bag. “My ideas aren’t groundbreaking enough.”

Ezra slid closer to Terran, angling himself between his alpha and my brother. “I’m sure you have some amazing ideas.”

“Nothing much.” Terran shrugged modestly, and I could have told the omega that asking Terran about himself was a surefire way to make him clam up.

The urge to meddle was so strong. I was a professional matchmaker, for crying out loud.

Terran took the bag. “Thanks. We’ll let you get back to work.”

He was hopeless. I fished around in my purse and handed them a card. “We can set up book club details later?”

“I’d like that,” Ezra said, looking at Terran when he said it. He looked winsome and adorable, like a little puppy.

“If you don’t mind more people?” Dom braced his hands on the countertop.

“Sure, the more the merrier,” Terran said, flicking his gaze between Dom’s biceps and Ezra’s happy expression.

We left and I waited two seconds for the door to shut behind us before I shook my head. “Oh my god, you’re hopeless.”

“What?” Terran frowned. “I know it’s a small store, but I haven’t checked all the exits. Your pack and the rest of the family would have me for lunch if I let you get snatched.”

“I mean the alpha and omega duo flirting with you like there was no tomorrow.” I threw my hands in the air. “Dom has been mentally undressing you since we got there, and you just know he tugged on that bond so Ezra could come meet you.”

Terran looked utterly baffled. I loved my brother so much, but my goodness, he could be dense. “No, he wasn’t. Didn’t.”

His cheeks turned a little pink even under his tan, so that was a good sign that the interest wasn’t one-sided.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Yes, yes, they were. I could go ask⁠—”

“No,” he said quickly. “They’re probably not…I mean, I’m not their type.”

“Sweet, hunky beta?” I gestured at my brother. “I’m pretty sure you’re exactly their type judging by the heat coming from them.”

“You’re imagining things,” he said with a sigh. “He was just doing his job.”

“Uhh-huhhh,” I said, shaking my head. I wanted a medal for not turning around and going back to the bookstore and demanding they set a date on the spot.

But I could be good. I was growing.

“They’ll come to book club,” I said. “We’ll have more people to talk about Mercury Creation with.”

“Yes,” Terran said, visibly brightening.

I elbowed him. “You should break their hearts gently if you’re not into them. I’ve never seen you date dudes.”

“I, ummm, usually don’t notice guys, but…” He turned bright red and shook his head. “I can’t talk about this with my sister.”

“If you can’t talk about your bi awakening with your sister, who can you talk about it with?”

Terran covered his face in his hands. I took pity on him, only because if I pushed too hard, he would stubbornly convince himself that the alpha-omega couple couldn’t possibly be into him.

He’d probably already be dating Abby if the rest of the family didn’t ask him all the time when the date was.

We climbed back into the truck, and I checked in on my cellphone that I was, in fact, fine. I also told my pack about what happened with Terran and demanded a gold star for not being pushier.

West backed up my decision, echoing my thought that pushing him would only make his little introverted beta heart hide more. I plotted ways to secretly get the three of them to meet up on the ride back, and relaxed.

Terran was right. I already loved my pack. Every time something happened, I wanted to hear about them, see who would crack the first joke. Make me feel better. Support me.

I loved them. I might as well embrace that all the way. It wouldn’t hurt any less if something happened to any of them. I’d still be brokenhearted. I might as well enjoy every bit of loving them, rather than trying to protect myself.

I couldn’t protect myself from the ravages of love. I was in deep, with no escape.

But somehow, I couldn’t picture it any other way.

Chapter 45

Ember

One of the best things in the entire world about dating musicians was my never-ending supply of music. Ben brought his laptop home and did some mixing; they had a studio downstairs; and even when Rian wasn’t working on his own stuff, he talked about the album they were working on. They recorded with other musicians, but Kinsey was the only name I was familiar with.

Ben kept apologizing for the long hours until Rian told me and West to work from the studio on a day I could manage it.

I didn’t mind the long hours, but I wasn’t going to say no to spending the day at the studio. When my schedule let me work from my laptop, I took them up on the offer and rode in the passenger side to the studio.

“It’s going to be boring,” Ben said for the hundredth time. “I’m sorry.”

I stole a kiss. “I’m fine. I have my laptop and enough food to withstand a month-long siege.”

I parked myself on the soft, comfy couch that smelled like Ben and Rian, and I opened my laptop. I had a bunch of coding to do since the parts of the website that Terran and I had fixed were still messing up. Somehow.

If I didn’t check twenty times over, I would have said someone hacked our servers and screwed things up on purpose.

I ignored the slight rush of fear, knowing someone was out there watching me.

It was nice. Rian came and sat with me when he wasn’t recording. It was very sexy, watching both of them get so engrossed in their work. After I asked what they were recording, Ben switched on the studio sounds so I could listen.

“I’d warn you that it’s the same couple of songs over and over.” He grinned. “But I hear how you repeat one song all the time.”

I grinned. “It’s fine.”

It was fun watching Kinsey sing. He sang into a massive, flat, black microphone, swaying with the beat. In the corner Rian played guitar, with his own headphones on. They had good energy together, Kinsey waving his hands and Rian swaying back and forth.

The song was a catchy bluesy ballad that was sure to be a radio hit, and I found myself bopping along to the beat.

Needing a break, I went stand next to Ben. “Am I bothering you?”

“Not at all.” He pulled me into his lap in a rush of dark spicy woods. The black currant note was sweeter today, and I rubbed my nose into his neck. “We’re recording some tracks, so I’m not actually doing any mixing right now.”

“Yes, I know what that is.” I nodded.

Ben laughed and rubbed his cheek against mine. He gestured in front of us, at the massive mixing board of little slidey things that I saw in every music video when they showed the musicians recording the song. “Usually we record several different tracks to the song before I layer them together. It gives the song more body.”

“So they’re not doing a hundred takes because they’re perfectionists?”

Kinsey tapped his microphone. “I didn’t hit that one the way I wanted. More volume?”

“Also that.” Ben gave me an amused look before tapping a button. “Go ahead.” His voice echoed a bit in the studio.

Kinsey looked at Rian. “You can take five if you want.”

“Why don’t we both take five?” Rian gestured at the glass window where Ben and I were watching. “There’s enough food to feed an army.”

Kinsey chuckled, and the omega and alpha came out of the recording booth.

Kinsey rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry you had to hear that.”

“Am I making you nervous?” I frowned. “I can leave.”

“Not at all.” The burly alpha shook his head and took the tacos Rian offered. “I’m just struggling to hit the right note.”

“What do you think, alpha?” Rian asked.

Kinsey and Rian both looked at Ben.

Ben shrugged. “How does the song sound in your head? It sounds fine to me, but if you’re not reaching the emotion you want…”

“Saying stuff like that is why you’re so good at your job, love.” Rian patted Ben’s shoulder and brought me a plate. I stayed perched in Ben’s lap and stole a quick kiss from Rian.

I made sure Ben had room to eat, since eating a taco with me in his lap was probably not the most comfortable position, but he squeezed his hand around my waist when I tried to leave.

“Can we do a playback?” Kinsey frowned at his taco. “Damn, this is good. I see the pack is coming along very well.”

Rian and I had identical smug looks on our faces. “Alejandro takes good care of us,” I said. “Thanks for noticing.”

“Haven’t seen these two so happy in ages,” Kinsey jerked his thumb at Rian and Ben.

I beamed. It was nice that it was obvious that I’d had an impact.

Ben juggled his taco and me and hit some buttons. The recording of Rian’s guitar and Kinsey’s vocals came through. All three men had a sudden intense look of concentration on their faces, and I could almost hear them blending the song together.

It sounded flatter and higher than songs usually did, probably because it lacked the finishing touches Ben would add in later.

It wasn’t bad, just rawer.

“What other instruments are going to be part of the song?” I asked, trying to mentally fill in the sound.

“Ben has graciously agreed to help with piano,” Kinsey said. “I was thinking this might be the first single if I can get the…” He gestured with his hand. “The bridge right. And we’ll have some bass added too.”

I listening to Kinsey sing about a relationship burning down. He had the same raw, emotional quality like many blues musicians. It felt like it could be a dive bar anthem.

Kinsey reached the part in the song where the bridge started, the lyrics breaking down as he sang, “We built this love just to burn it down, standing in flames like we don’t know the roof was caving in, the walls crumbling.”

Ben cycled through three different tracks as we ate, listening to Kinsey hit different notes for the bridge each time. The first version was high-pitched and forlorn, the second was lower and angry, and in the most recent he sounded like it was a plea.

Even without the other instruments, I could feel the power of the song. Rian tapped his hand in time with the beat, and Ben still had the same faraway expression.

“What made you write the song?” I asked.

Kinsey blinked, like he was coming out of a nap. “Uhhh, I had a really bad breakup.” He gave me a sheepish grin. “Sort of cliché.”

“Not cliché.” I shook my head at him. “It’s a universal feeling. I love the emotion.”

“If I could find the right…” He gestured with his hand, making his palm tip in a wave motion.

“Let’s just play together,” Rian suggested. “Sometimes it’s easier to work through the song without worrying about tracks.”

“Good idea.” Ben stirred. “I’ll play some piano.”

“Oooooh.” I perked up.

“That okay if I borrow your alpha?” Kinsey grinned at me. “I’ll bring him back.”

“Of course.” I clapped my hands. “My own personal concert. I should have brought a lighter.”

Rian laughed. “We play a lot of music at home.”

“You can sit in the booth with us if you’d like,” Kinsey said.

We finished eating and moved into the recording booth. Ben pushed some buttons, letting the other two know he was recording in case they actually produced something they wanted to keep.

Ben had a keyboard set up, and Rian went back to his guitar. Kinsey picked up his headphones and positioned himself so he was the third point of a triangle, facing Ben and Rian.

“Why does everyone wear headphones?” I took a seat on a soft bench along the wall. “Isn’t it hard to hear yourself?”

“It’s easier,” Rian said, holding his guitar. “I can also hear the backing track, so my mic doesn’t record the same thing twice.”

“Come here.” Ben gestured for me to come over, so I slid onto the bench. He pulled up his laptop and clicked some buttons. “This is how I control the tracks from inside the recording booth, by the way.”

I rubbed my hands together. “I love this behind-the-scenes look.”

“Doesn’t it take away the mystery?” Kinsey looked thoughtful.

“Just because you love it doesn’t mean it’s still not work.” I shrugged.

Ben let me use his headphones and clicked some buttons. The basic track of the song played without lyrics. It was mostly guitar, and low enough that I could hear myself think.

“That is so cool.” I pulled Ben into a hug, and he looked pleased. “Which is so sexy.” I kissed his cheek, reining myself in. “Later.”

I handed him back his headphones, and he nodded at the other two. Rian was standing, and they started the song over again.

The added piano helped, or maybe it was the combined energy, because Kinsey seemed more comfortable. He gestured with his hand, shifting his weight as he got into the song, his voice a combination of anguish and reprisal, especially when he landed on the refrain, “nothing left but ashes.”

Ben and Rian both got into the song, Rian strumming his guitar, and nodding at Kinsey.

Ben played along, and I’d never get tired of watching him play. The piano track was upbeat and bouncy, a nice counterbalance that brought the song almost into seventies rock and roll vibe. It was an elevated version of the rockabilly vibe from Kinsey’s first album.

They finished, grinning at each other.

“This is definitely the next bar anthem,” I said, and Kinsey laughed.

“It’s true.” Ben nodded. “They’re going to eat this up.”

“The bridge isn’t right.” Kinsey made a face. He was massive and had his hands shoved in his pockets like he was trying to make himself seem smaller.

“Another!” Rian said, throwing his hands into the air.

“That’s not excessive?” Kinsey frowned. “It usually doesn’t take this many takes…”

“Oh, this is nothing,” Ben said darkly. “There’s a couple of artists who will spend three days on one bridge.”

Rian sighed. “More’s the pity on you, Ben. Surrounding yourself with a bunch of neurotic artists.”

Ben gave a mock sigh. “It comes with the territory.”

I snorted and elbowed Ben gently. “Like you don’t sit on your laptop and obsess over the layering for hours?”

“Shhh, whose side are you on?” He laughed, looking surprised. “Throwing me under the bus.”

“It’s why he’s the best.” Kinsey beamed.

They went through the song again, and I could hear what Kinsey was saying. Each time they got to the bridge, even though the lyrics and notes didn’t change, the energy of the song shifted. I frowned, waiting for Kinsey to pick up the notes and go higher.

My brain supplied a hundred other songs that, as one option, included the slow breakdown, where all the instruments stopped and the audience clapped in time as the singer belted out the bridge of the song.

Or the other way, where the song went up in intensity. It felt like he was missing a note, which is probably why he tried various emotional versions of the bridge.

Kinsey looked at me as soon as they stopped. “Spill the beans, Ember. You had an idea.”

I shook my head. “I heard what you’re saying. I’m not a musician.”

Ben and Rian both rolled their eyes. “As if,” Rian said. “You’re an amazing singer, and you listen to more music than Ben and I combined.”

Kinsey arched an eyebrow.

“It’s your song,” I started, trying to figure out how to explain. “But you need the part in the song where you…”

I paused, trying to think of the words to explain. None of the men rushed me. Ben’s hand found the small of my back and did little circles, and Rian was watching me like I invented fire. Like I was the center of the universe.

Rian had a part I was trying to describe in one of his songs. I cleared my throat. “You know how in ‘Phoenix Song’ by Burns.”

“Oh, yeah,” Kinsey said without looking at Rian. “One of the best tracks on From Ashes.”

“I don’t know what it’s called.” I gave Rian a nervous look, but he didn’t seem upset. “At the end, where it does the thing…”

“When the bridge breaks down?” Rian added helpfully. “In ‘Phoenix Song,’ it’s louder and heavier than the rest of the song.”

“Yes.” I pointed at Rian. “That.”

Kinsey stared into the middle distance. “Am I not doing that?” He sang a few bars of bridge.

“But it’s the same,” I said, as Rian was shaking his head. “It’s more or less emotional depending on which track, but it’s not this big emotional breakdown. You need, like…” I waved my hand. Kinsey was a bad influence.

My squirrel brain was trying to use words for something I could only hear. If this is what writing music was like, no wonder Rian was driving himself nuts. “Like in Capote’s ‘Use You’ and Olivia Ruiz’s ‘Omega Don’t Cry.’ You need, like, a back and forth.”

Ben jumped in his chair. “Yes, you do.” He grabbed me and kissed the side of my head. “You’re a brilliant muse. Kinsey, get another guitar.”

Kinsey rubbed his hands together. “See, this is why I came here.” He grabbed another guitar while Rian waited patiently for his instructions.

“Okay, now both of you start at the top. Try making it your anthem, Kinsey.”

“You said it was a bad breakup,” Rian added. “But when you’re singing, you’re moving around a bunch, like you’re trying to keep yourself softer than you want to be.”

“Yeah, I’d pictured this angry sort of ballad…thing.” Kinsey strummed the guitar thoughtfully. “But maybe it’s more like…”

“The bouncy blues song you belt out while you’re driving,” I piped up. “You’re doing the ‘told you so’ hands and everything.”

“Sorry, what?” Ben laughed.

“Let me show you.” I took Ben’s hands and mimicked Kinsey’s hand motions, the shaking hand into the air. “It’s like this universal motion every singer does when they’re singing a song like ‘you screwed me over, but you messed up because I’m awesome.’”

Rian smirked. “She’s right, Kinsey. Better own it.”

“That’s perfect.” Ben gestured at both of them. “Try again with Rian playing at the same time, like the two of you are dueting.”

Kinsey’s face lit up. “Oh, yeah, bring it up a notch.”

“Like when you recorded ‘Dirt on my Boots,’” Ben said, naming one of the tracks on Kinsey’s first album. It was a really fun, fast-paced song about getting out of town, and it had been covered and turned into a duet a whole bunch of times.

I rubbed my hands together. “Oh, yeah, Rian and Kinsey singing at the same time. Best day is best.”

All three men looked at me with surprise.

My stomach sank. “Sorry, is that not…” My cheeks got red. “Sorry.”

Rian shook his head. “It’s fine, honey. Ben was talking about playing guitar at the same time.”

“I mean, I’m down,” Kinsey said, looking at Rian. “If you want to play around? I totally get if you’d rather not.”

I had a whole existential crisis in two point five seconds, trying to decide if Kinsey had figured out Rian was Burns or not. Judging by the furious calculations on Ben’s face, he was probably thinking the same thing.

“I didn’t mean to put you on the spot,” I told Rian, my stomach still churning, praying he wasn’t mad at me. “Or butt into your song,” I told Kinsey.

“It’s all good,” the other alpha said. “You got a good ear, and doing a loud duet is a great angle.”

Rian didn’t look mad; he looked thoughtful. “Duet. You want to take the first half…”

Kinsey’s thinking look resurfaced, and I fought not to snicker. They were all adorable.

“They’re both trying to decide which parts to take, aren’t they?” Ben said dryly.

“Yes.” I put my chin on his shoulder.

Rian snapped his fingers. “That fixes the bridge.”

Kinsey cocked his head and hummed a few bars. “Huh. It does.”

“Hold on,” Ben said urgently. He tapped some more buttons on the laptop and twisted back to face the piano. “You want the piano at the same beat?”

“Maybe take it up half a notch?” Kinsey said, frowning.

“We can tweak it later if it’s not right,” Ben said, wiggling his fingers.

The intro of the piano started up again, and the beat increased a tiny bit.

This time, Kinsey sang the opening line and then looked at Rian. Rian picked up the other two lines, his husky voice an amazing counterpoint to Kinsey’s baritone.

I would never get used to hearing Rian sing, just make music around me as if it were nothing special, and not like watching a comet or seeing a unicorn.

Kinsey sang, swaying his hips, strumming the guitar, with additions from Rian, and it just felt right.

I felt it the moment everything snapped together. They hit the chorus, trading off lines, and then singing the third line together, Rian hitting a higher note, and Kinsey going soft and melodic.

Better yet, they were both looking at each other, grinning like they were having the time of their life. The song morphed into a duet about love and heartbreak but moving on and being stronger for it.

The song flowed out of them, and I got chills. They reached the break, where all the instruments stopped, and Kinsey wailed out, “And look at you now.”

The instruments picked up again, and Rian and Kinsey belted out one last chorus before stopping.

Ben sat back, looking like the cat that got the canary. Kinsey went over and high-fived Rian. “Yeah, man, that’s what I’m talking about.”

Rian laughed. “That was all you. That’s the song.”

They did the bro hug, clapping each other on the back, and I couldn’t stop beaming.

“Come here.” Rian held out his hands. I jumped up and hugged him from the side because he was still wearing his guitar around the strap.

“Great idea.” He kissed my cheek. “It’s almost like you have an ear for music.”

Kinsey was beaming. “When are we going to get to hear you sing? I got, like, twenty other songs. Or we could just mess around.”

I looked at Rian. “That’s your revenge for suggesting a duet?”

Rian looked smug. “It is. Come on, we already did Wheels on the Bus. This will be nothing.”

“Don’t you need to record more stuff?” I looked at Kinsey.

“Let’s just let loose.” He glanced at Rian and Ben. “If that’s fine with the boss?”

“It’s a great idea. We need to blow off some steam,” Ben said, randomly hitting some notes on the piano. The mood was happy and infectious. “What about a cover? So everyone knows the lyrics?” He shifted to his left, where his laptop was parked. “I’ve got a bunch of backing tracks.”

Nerves squiggled inside me. I wanted to play along, but the studio felt more…formal. No wonder Rian got stage fright.

Rian took my hips and shifted me near his microphone. “We can share, babe. Lady picks.” He shot me a questioning look.

I wanted to be there, I realized. It just felt…weird. “I don’t want to be a professional singer.”

“Don’t have to be,” Kinsey said. “My sister has a great voice too. We sing along in the car and have fun.”

“Like in the kitchen,” I mused. “This is my golden opportunity.”

“Your golden opportunity? Try mine.,” Ben muttered. “I am still recording, but I have to remind everyone about rights. So anything owned by other people can’t be officially released.”

That felt like less pressure, and even Rian relaxed at that. We were goofing off but didn’t have the rights to what we would be singing. “Awesome.”

“Do you have ‘One Last Ride’?” I looked at Rian and Ben. “Something fun?”

“Of course I do, my love,” Ben said, scrolling through his laptop. He handed me a headset, stealing a kiss, and Rian showed me how to adjust the sound. It was weird, hearing the track of the song in my ears, but it did help me focus.

The song started up and I started singing. Rian and I had sung it before at the house, so we fell into the roles naturally.

Kinsey’s voice was a great offset to Rian’s, and I almost missed a few cues because I was listening to them. I picked the next one, a slower acoustic song that matched Rian’s smoky voice with Kinsey’s deeper baritone. We blended together and it was amazing.

I was outside myself, living in the lyrics, and I could see how people made their entire lives around this one feeling.

Rian gave me a sly look. “What about ‘Roses and Ruins’?”

Kinsey whistled. “Throwing down the big guns. I can sit this one out.”

“Nope.” Rian shook his head. “Like we just did with ‘Walking Away.’”

I prepped myself, wondering if I should just sing during the chorus. Rian started the song, the opening I knew so well.

I couldn’t help it; I gripped his forearm. For a moment, I was back in the hospital, it was three in the morning, and I was listening to the same three songs on repeat. The hospital bed wasn’t comfortable, and grief was so big inside me it threatened to swallow me whole, but ‘Roses and Ruins’ gave me an outlet, a place to climb into when being inside myself was too much.

I knew the next line was mine and sang. My voice was a little husky, and I could feel tears in the corners of my eyes, but Rian’s hand was right there, his sweet amber scent around me, Ben’s spicy woods covering me from his constant need to scent mark me.

I sang with my entire heart, my voice breaking a bit, and Kinsey picked up the chorus with Rian, and I hummed along. I stopped worrying about it being the right timing, and just sang, wishing I know how Rian and Ben must be feeling each other right now. The thought terrified me, but my omega instincts knew they were mine. Mine, mine, mine, and I wanted to be bonded to them the same way I flew away into a song.

It was like being outside myself but, somehow, more whole.

We finished the song together. Rian dragged me over to the bench with Ben and smushed me between them.

“You did great.” Rian kissed my temple.

“I’m going to bring us some water,” Kinsey said.

I put my chin on Ben’s shoulder, and he wrapped his arms around me. Rian pressed into my other side, and I laughed. “I’d thought that Rian would be more emotional than me during that song.”

Rian took my hand gently. “I am, but not the same way. I love hearing you sing my music. It helps me see the other parts of the song. Come out of my own head and let it be something new.”

I let them comfort me. “I’m not sad, not really. It’s just…cathartic.”

“Of course it is.”

“I love you.” Ben squeezed me against him. “Having you around makes everything feel more whole.”

“Yes, like more of myself.” I nodded. “I want to be bonded.”

Rian grinned, and Ben blinked in surprise.

“I know it’s sudden,” I started. Ben pulled me into a scorching hot kiss. It stole any insecure thoughts away, and for a moment it was just Ben, until Rian kissed me, and then it was the three of us.

We pulled away, gasping.

“Thank heavens,” Rian said. “I was going to be begging for it during my heat, but I wanted you to be comfortable first.”

I laughed. “I’m going to talk to West and Alejandro but…” I paused. “Would it be too much to be bonded by both of you at the same time?” I squeezed Ben’s hand. “Would you prefer to be alone or…I don’t know how…”

Ben pressed his cheek against mine. “Alejandro is the perfect alpha. I can’t picture life without him, Ember. If you want us all there together, that feels right. It’s what you want.”

“So, Rian.” I rubbed my face against Ben’s chest. His shirt was super soft and destined to be stolen. “You okay with that?”

“Let’s do it tonight.” He looked around like we could pack our stuff up right then and there.

I laughed. “Let’s talk about it first, but yeah…” I rubbed my cheek against Ben again, aching to be able to feel him and Rian echo inside me.

Terran was right. I wouldn’t be any less devastated if something terrible happened to them. This way, I got all the benefits of loving them, instead of holding myself separate in hopes of salvaging a piece of myself.

I was just kidding myself, thinking the entire pack didn’t have my heart.

Chapter 46

Ember

We arrived at the house, and I was on cloud nine. Rian drove, and I snuggled Ben in the back seat. West and Alejandro were already home, and we had dinner.

I couldn’t stop giggling or touching my pack.

“Someone’s in a good mood,” Alejandro said.

I nodded, stealing a kiss over the table, before going back to my food. “Rian sang with Kinsey today.”

Rian blinked. “Me? What about you? Ember sang with us.”

West looked surprised. “Really? I’m sorry I missed it.”

“You missed nothing.” Ben touched West’s hand. “I recorded everything. We’ll have to all go to the studio on the next day off.”

“Can we?” I looked at Rian. “I have, like, ten thousand songs I want to request.”

Rian raised his eyebrows and looked at Alejandro and then West. “Sure. It wouldn’t be fair to keep the rest of the pack out.”

“Exactly.” I grinned.

After dinner, West dragged me to the side. “You’re happy.”

I threw my arms around West, inhaling his milk and honey scent. “I am so happy. I’ve been so scared of losing people I love. But I talked to Terran, and tonight I realized I can’t hold myself back.”

I tilted my head up at West. My first love, the first person to show me it was safe, even when the rest of the world was crumbling around me. “I love you. And I love them, and I’d rather suffer the pain of losing you than not live every moment to the fullest.”

West gave me a small smile and kissed me on the mouth. His lips were soft, and he tasted like berries. “So you’re ready for bonding.”

“I don’t want to bond without you,” I said. “It was just the two of us so long…”

“I’m not ready but…” He sighed. “It’s not never. I’d rather you bond now. Let me go at my pace and you go at yours.” He kissed my forehead. “Besides, you can tell me what it’s like.”

“You’re sure?” I searched his face, but he looked happy. Really happy.

“I’m very sure. You and Rian are bonding at the same time?”

I nodded. “We talked a little in the studio, but I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m great.” He hugged me. “The pack makes me feel safer and more comfortable than I thought I’d ever feel. I want you to be bonded, to have what you need.”

“Okay.” I took his hand. “Let’s go tell the alphas.”

I entered the living room, and the others were already sitting on the couch. I sat down next to Alejandro and took his hand on mine. “I’d like to be bonded tonight, if that’s okay with you.”

Alejandro made a choking sound. “Yes. What? Now?”

“You said you would always be there for me. It feels like this is the next step.” I squeezed West’s hand. “And my omega doesn’t feel left out, just able to move at his own pace.”

I tugged West down with me, and we squeezed between Rian. I touched Ben’s forearm. “I want to be bonded by my alphas.”

“Of course,” Ben said, his voice hoarse. “You can have anything you want. Even the moon.”

“Me too.” Rian looked at Alejandro. “I’m very ready for your bondmark, alpha.”

Alejandro gave the omega a hungry look. “Sounds like we should go to the nest.”

“Which one?” Rian looked at me.

I shrugged. “I’m okay either way.”

“Tunnel nest,” Rian said, nodding at West.

We all went to the tunnel nest, butterflies in my stomach along with the start of desire. Heat fluttered inside me at the thought of having them all inside me tonight. I went into the nest first, and they all waited obediently. Good pack. I rearranged some pillows and blankets and then allowed them to enter.

They surrounded me. West slid my shirt off, and Rian cupped my breasts from behind me. I whimpered as Alejandro shucked off my jeans. Ben caressed the side of my face and pulled me into a kiss. I groaned when he dug into the back of my neck. Rian’s thumb flicked over my nipple, and I gasped as West latched onto the other one.

Heat exploded everywhere, my nest a mixture of scents until I didn’t know where I ended and they began. Alejandro eased me onto my back, sliding between my legs. I whimpered into Ben’s mouth as Alejandro licked up my pussy, my body one big aching throb.

“Please,” I gasped.

“Soon,” West said. I pouted at him, but he just laughed. Ben tugged me back into a kiss, and I plunged my tongue into his mouth, my hips jerking up. Rian moved down my body, circling my clit with his tongue. Unraveling, I writhed into the soft blankets of the nest. Ben’s hands roamed my body, hooking two fingers inside me as Alejandro pumped his tongue.

I came with a hard gasp, back arching up. West thrust inside me before my pussy walls had even finished fluttering.

“I’m going to have you first,” West gasped. “These alphas are going to knot you once they bond you.”

Both alphas groaned at that. West rolled me to the side, and I whined, arching my back. I didn’t have to beg.

It was so hot, I thought I would die. Liquid heat poured through me. Rian poured lube over my ass, rubbing his cock against me. “Rian, please, fuck me.”

West set a slow, methodical pace, and I dug my nails into my omega’s arm. He shifted us so Rian had access. I reached up and around me, where Ben was still sitting near my head.

“Ben, fuck my mouth.”

He moaned, rubbing his cock on my lip. I darted my tongue out for quick licks, but it was hard to concentrate as Rian pressed the head of his cock against the tight ring of muscle. I looked around, and Alejandro slid behind Rian, rubbing the omega’s ass with an obscene amount of lube.

I moaned, sucking Ben’s thick cock into my mouth.

Rian whined loudly as Alejandro pressed his cock inside him. West and Rian moved inside me, Alejandro moved inside Rian, and Ben moved inside my mouth. For long moments I spiraled, filled up, pleasure banking higher and higher. I was a conduit of need and desire, broken and remade with their hands.

“Bond me, alpha,” Rian whimpered, sounding completely undone. “I need you.”

It felt like a need, being bond. As much as I need air to breathe and food to live. West and Rian slid in and out of me, slowly, until electric desire sparked hard, and we came. I lay there, panting, but before I could catch my breath, West gently took Ben by the hips and positioned him in front of me.

“Alpha,” I breathed, taking in the deep, spicy scent of him. I’d craved him and now he would finally be mine.

“That’s my good girl,” Ben whispered, caressing my cheek with his hand. “We’re going to bond you now, but you’ve always been ours.”

“Yes,” I whimpered.

Ben rubbed his cock against my entrance, and everything was soft and slick between my own arousal and the come leaking out of me.

“You’re a mess, baby,” Ben said with a growl.

“I am,” I panted, arching my hips forward. I needed him inside me, not teasing me with the head of his cock.

“Good,” he said, kissing my neck. He rubbed himself slowly over me, dragging his head over my folds and kissing my neck.

“Oh god, please fuck me,” I panted. “Alpha, I need you.”

He purred at that, notching his cockhead inside me. I ached, my walls already starting to clench around him.

“Fuck,” he groaned, sliding further in. “You’re so wet.”

He sheathed himself all the way inside me, and I gasped. I rocked my hips against him, everything spiraling down to our bodies joined together. He pulled out, grinding slowly inside me until I was driven half mad.

Alejandro’s guanabana scent spiked, and I reached behind me, wanting him too.

Rian shifted out from behind me, and Alejandro took his place. I moaned, arching back into Ben, driving myself deeper onto his cock. “Alpha, please,” I panted, the orgasm spiraling deep inside me. Heat burrowed under my skin, insistent and needy.

Alejandro rubbed against my ass, and I gasped when he pushed inside. He waited for Ben’s thrusts, both of them thrusting in and out of me on opposite strokes until I cried out, back bowing out as the orgasm ripped through me.

Ben bit my neck, arching into me as he pumped himself into me over and over, coming again and again. The bond flared to life, brighter and warmer than the sun.

I gasped, my eyes flying open, as Ben seated himself inside me, knotting me. Alejandro kept going, and the pleasure strung out on a knife, biting me in the same but opposite place Ben had, so their teeth formed a circle. I whined, and Alejandro knotted me, his joy bursting inside me.

I floated on bliss. Dimly, I was aware both alphas licked their bondmarks, sucking on them, pausing to kiss each other, and then licking me. It made warmth spiral inside me all over again.

Ben purred, dislodging his knot enough to start fucking me again, only to make me come with a gasp and knot me again. It went on like that forever, me feeling Rian’s sharp joy as West bent our omega over and fucked him.

I was filled with nothing but heaven. Bonding was like…coming home.

I sighed, and when Alejandro’s knot went down, I made grabby hands for West. “Go bond your omega.” I kissed Alejandro.

He kissed his bondmark, sending a ripple through me. “You’re beautiful. I’m a lucky bastard to have you.”

I kissed him. “I love you too.”

I rolled over, Ben spooning me, while West slid next to me.

Rian was already hard, and his eyes widened when he saw the smoldering look on Alejandro’s face.

“Oh god, yes, bond me, alpha.”

“With pleasure.” Alejandro pulled him into a kiss, and I shifted my weight. West began playing with my clit again, and I squirmed on Ben’s knot.

I settled in, Rian and Alejandro’s pounding desire racing through me like liquid fire.

Chapter 47

Rian

Alejandro rolled me onto my back, and I almost came the moment his hand landed on my cock. I tried to focus, to pinpoint every moment. His hands running down my chest, his mouth claiming mine in a searing kiss, the taste of Ember on his mouth.

Ember’s pleasure was like swallowing a burning star, and her desire spiked again, making me harder than I’d ever been. I arched up, sending my hips crashing into Alejandro’s. He rubbed his cock against my stomach, scenting me.

I whimpered, my hips working without my permission, and I made begging little noises. West had already fucked me, made me come twice, but it wasn’t enough. I needed so many more orgasms.

Alejandro notched his cock at my ass, and I moaned. He rubbed lube between us, massaging his hands into my skin until I was writhing. Ember and Ben’s fierce joy and desire only made me greedy for more. Alejandro leaned over me, the heavy tropical scent making me insane.

“I’m yours. Fuck me however you want. Use me,” I said, trying to take him inside me.

Alejandro’s scent spiked and he nipped my throat. “Yes, you are, good omega.” He gave a throaty purr and pushed inside me.

It was exquisite, and I whimpered, arching up to meet him. He took me slow and steady, making me feel him all the way to my pores. It was an endless feedback loop, Ember’s ecstasy pouring into me. I held on to Alejandro’s hips as he moved inside me. I whined, and he stroked my cock with his free hand and nibbled down my throat.

Groaning, I tilted my chin up, begging him to make me his. Connect us as pack forever. His tropical citrus was everywhere, and he pushed in until his knot pressed against me. I whined, and my alpha bit down, just above my collarbone. I came immediately, thrashing my hips. He pushed into me, harder this time, stroking my aching cock with his hand until I came again, and he knotted me.

I let out a gusty sigh as Alejandro licked my neck. “I love you,” he whispered, and I felt it all. His love and affection and desire. Instead of worrying that Ben would feel slighted, would feel lesser, I felt satisfied. Ben was amused in our bond, almost like he was saying, “Well, duh.”

They loved me. The entire pack. Alejandro scooted us over to West, and we cuddled together.

My pack. Ember grinned at me over West’s shoulder. She was so pleased, relaxed, and relieved. I blew her a kiss and snuggled against Alejandro.

I patted West’s shoulder. “I love you.”

He gave me a sleepy smile. “I love you too. Especially when you’re all high on hormones.” He seemed smug, but I’d felt his frantic energy when he fucked me and then Ember. He wasn’t ready yet, but that was okay. He could take his time. Bonded now or ten years later, he was still my pack.

“Not that I really care,” I said, feeling heavy with sleep. “But whose last name are we taking?”

Ember let out an amused gasp. “Oh, damn.”

West shrugged, his eyes half-closed. “I don’t care. Keep Sullivan or take O’Shea.”

I thought about changing my name, and I didn’t hate it. Besides, if Ember changed to O’Shea, then West would be left out.

I reached over and touched Ben’s shoulder. “I think we should take your last name, Ember and West.”

“Yes,” Ben said, understanding lighting up in our bond. “I love that idea.”

“You’re sure?” Ember looked between me and Ben. “I don’t mind changing my name.”

“It’s fine if you want to,” West said.

Ember cocked her head at him and gave him a manic grin. “Let them join our crazy family.”

“I have no pony in this race,” Alejandro said sleepily.

I laughed, giving him a shove. “Good, then. I’ll be Rian Sullivan.”

A thrill went through me at the idea of changing my name to match Ember and West, the same joy I felt coming from Ember, Alejandro, and Ben. Judging from West’s pleased smile, I made the right choice.

I fell asleep curled around my pack, a snippet of a song playing over and over in my head. Instead of trying to snatch it out of the air like a fish in the water, I just let it be. It was fine if it would never be a song.

Music was part of my life; my pack had shown me that. Some things just took time.

Chapter 48

Ember

Iwas in bliss. Ben and Alejandro took turns licking their bondmarks on me and Rian, which turned me on, which meant sex. It was a cycle of spicy times, over and over, and I didn’t see how people managed to leave the house after bonding.

Instead of seeming left out, West seemed more content than ever, seeking out hot alpha sex more than he usually did. Which also turned me and Rian on, so really, bonding turned into days of fucking.

We finally calmed down enough to lounge on the couch and watch my favorite cooking show. The bond was still new, but Rian was distracted. He didn’t comment on the chefs forgetting to boil their potatoes for mashed potatoes, nor did he worry about the chef who decided to bake a cake for a twenty-minute challenge.

I poked his side. “What are you thinking about?”

“That bit of song.” He waved his hand. His hair was back in a little ponytail today. “It’s been stuck in my head.”

“Why don’t you go down to the studio?” Ben said, not looking away from the TV. Through our bond, I didn’t feel anything like pressure from Ben. Just curiosity. “We’re fine up here.”

A spark of interest from Rian in the bond, before he squashed it.

“It’s fine,” he said.

“It’s not fine,” West said. He gave our omega the stink eye. “Just go play around. No one is expecting you to come up with a new album. Get the bits of song down so it will leave you alone.”

“Go burn some steak,” Alejandro said with a grin.

Rian rolled his eyes. “Fine, fine. I’ll go.”

He acted put out, but his pop of joy zipped through the bond.

As soon as he was out of earshot, I shook my head. “I would have asked to be bonded sooner if I knew how handy they were for emotions.”

Ben grinned. “Hard to hide things when you’re sharing feelings.”

West gave a disgusted look. “Great, now I’m never getting bonded.”

“Right, like we don’t already know what you’re feeling,” I said, nudging him with my foot.

“You’re annoyed but also pleased that your pack knows what you’re thinking.” Alejandro poked West’s side.

“Because feelings are stupid,” Ben said. “Who needs them.”

West crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re all so smug, aren’t you?”

“We are,” I said, giving him another kiss. “Your pack is very smug about having you here.”

West grumbled and pretended to be annoyed, but he snuggled deeper between the two alphas. In the bond, all three of us seemed pleased with ourselves.

Rian didn’t come up for air, so we threw him food, but he complained about the lights being too bright in the studio.

I decided he needed a nest, so we used one of the nests on the other side of the house we barely touched. West filled it with firm pillows, Ben got small recorders and managed to find an electric outlet so Rian could play guitar, and Alejandro filled the nest with snacks.

I poked my head into the studio. “Hey, Rian, we have a surprise.”

He looked up from frowning at his guitar, papers scattered everywhere. “What’s wrong?”

He seemed…distracted through the bond, the same way Alejandro felt when he cooked.

“Come on.” West gestured behind us. We showed him the studio nest, complete with the seventies color scheme.

Rian blinked. “It’s a studio.”

Ben handed Rian a handheld recorder. “This is that personal recorder I showed Kinsey. You could just sing some lyrics or record yourself playing guitar if you want. The nest is soundproof.”

West pointed out the pillows. “They should be strong enough to support you.”

“And there’s a bunch of snacks in there, but of course, if you want food, let us know,” Alejandro added.

Rian looked flabbergasted. “This is the studio nest I didn’t know I needed.”

“There’s perks when you’re in a pack with more than one omega.” I leaned on Ben. “And two alphas.”

“Thank you,” Rian said, climbing into the nest. “This is perfect.”

He shut the door behind him, and the soundproofing worked well.

We went back downstairs and cuddled. I rotated between being in the middle of the alpha and omega sandwich, all my instincts pleased. Rian was getting what he needed, West had the space he wanted, and I finally had two alphas who loved me with every single beat of their heart.

If I could get rid of the stalker, my life would be perfect. And the turtle pond. I couldn’t forget about that. I made some more plans in my head for the turtle pond and enjoyed snuggle time with my pack.

Chapter 49

West

Work sucked. I drove home, exhausted and ready to receive cuddles. It should have flipped me out, craving the touch of not one but two alphas.

Ember I was used to. Rian didn’t feel threatening. But Ben and Alejandro were alphas capable of hurting me.

Except both of them had done nothing but show me they loved me. That I had space. Neither of them had ever pressed me to be knotted, and I had to maneuver my way to the bottom if I wanted to feel their weight on me.

Ember was right. I wasn’t ready for bonding, but it almost didn’t matter. They knew me well enough to know when I wanted space and when I wanted attention.

I opened the door and found Ember curled up on the couch. She had a million candles lit and had a blanket wrapped around her. I came over and gave her a kiss. “How was work?”

“Fine. You?” She pulled me down to her, and I curled up under the blankets gratefully.

“A trash fire,” I said. “Greg found out about you being bonded and was in a pissy mood all day.”

Ember rolled her eyes. “That was never going to happen.”

“I told him as much.” I shook my head. “And then the portal we submit our projects into won’t stop messing up.”

Ember made a face. “Our matching software is still being stupid. I’m beginning to suspect computer gnomes.”

I sighed and put my head on her shoulder. “You might be right.”

I’d had to work some overtime for taking heat leave and then being there for Ember and Rian being bonded. My boss had made some snide comments about how it must be nice to get off work early to get railed, and it was all I could do not to punch him.

She pulled my hair out of its braid with a smirk that said she was getting away with murder. “We’ll check the systems tomorrow.”

I muttered a yes, and she worked her fingers through my hair. I didn’t like people playing with my hair, but Ember, and now my pack, was the exception.

“You’re still happy?” I looked at her out of the corner of my eye. She obviously was, but I wondered if having three other people’s feelings inside her wasn’t…crowded.

“Ecstatic.” She beamed and touched her chest. “I thought being bonded would feel…suffocating. But it’s not. It’s like having snuggles, twenty-four seven.”

That actually sounded…nice. Maybe soon. The more times I felt Ben or Alejandro inside me, the more connection I wanted. I wanted it deeper, stronger. It was on the tip of my tongue the last time we’d had sex to beg them for a bite, but then I came to my senses.

The men in question came home, and we cuddled on the couch. Ember put on her bloodthirsty documentary, and I found myself considering starting another orgy when my phone beeped.

I looked down. It was my boss.

Mr. Arnold:

Your work has been shoddy for months. The project you submitted tonight had unacceptable mistakes in it. Coming back from heat and bonding leave is no excuse. See me in my office tomorrow.

Blood roared in my head, and I felt sick. I swallowed hard, locking down my emotions.

“What’s wrong?” Ben touched my shoulder.

I sighed and pulled my laptop out of my bag. “Nothing. My boss is an ass.”

Ember snatched my phone out of my hand, no sense of boundaries. “‘Your heat leave and unacceptable mistakes’? What does the fucker mean by that?”

I rubbed my temples. “I keep submitting projects and they wind up screwed up on the other end. First it was here and there, but now it happens regularly. I don’t know why.”

“Do you have the original version? Like, before you upload it into the portal?” Ember asked.

“It’s still on my laptop.”

“Let’s go through your code. We can compare to what you did and then what came through.” Ember yanked her laptop into her lap with a determined look.

I groaned. “That’s going to take hours.”

“Better to have the proof for tomorrow.”

She was right, of course. “All right.”

I signed into the work portal and located my projects. When I pulled it up, I swore a blue streak.

Alejandro wormed his way to my other side. “That doesn’t sound good, mi amor.”

“It’s not. Half of my code is broken. Mr. Arnold has to know I didn’t write it like that.” It would take hours, but Ember was right. We could compare the work I did to the broken code in the final project I submitted this morning.

We kept the nature channel on, and Alejandro fed us snacks while Ben stayed for moral support. Rian wandered out of his studio nest long enough to cuddle against Ben and watch me work.

Ember and I worked side by side, comparing code to code. At one point Rian stage-whispered, “Is it weird that I find the two of them being computer nerds is really hot?”

Alejandro laughed. “Not weird, or at least, we’re all weird.”

“Yes, we’re sexy.” Ember didn’t look up from her laptop. “Give us twenty minutes and then you can rail us until we forget our names.”

Desire flared. I liked the sound of that. I finished my work, and we took our lust into Ember’s tunnel nest. It was nice, having people I could spend time with without having to make sure I stepped around their feelings.

We had amazing sex, with more orgasms than I could count. The next morning, I woke up feeling good about my work meeting.

It sucked, but I would show him the lines of code and clear up the misunderstanding. Rian and Ben offered to carpool because they had a light day, but they never knew when they were getting off, so I drove myself.

When I got to work, Mr. Arnold glared at me and gestured to his office.

Greg mouthed a question, but I shook my head.

Mr. Arnold gestured for me to sit down. His office was cold and sterile, the apex of boring middle-level management with a heavy wooden desk and two uncomfortable chairs.

I sat down. “I can explain.”

The balding alpha held up his hand. “Let me speak. Your work has been unacceptable for the last few months. I realize that you are an…omega.”

He paused, and my blood ran hot. He always made it sound like I was a sex addict, but he also made sure to stand too close whenever looking over my shoulder.

“You have hormone fluctuations and all that.” He waved his hand. “But that’s no excuse.”

“You’re right,” I said, opening my laptop. “A home invasion and our nest being destroyed made Ember go into heat early and took me with her. But that has nothing to do with this.”

He got a pinched look on his face, like I wasn’t following his script. “I’m sorry to hear about the home invasion.”

I turned the laptop around. “These are screenshots of my project on my computer. Before I uploaded it into the server. I also emailed it to your work email.”

Mr. Arnold sighed. “Mr. Sullivan…”

“I don’t know what happened, but my project was intact before I uploaded it.” I pointed at the screenshots, showing him the before and after. “I completely agree. The project that was uploaded is a bad job. But that’s not what happened.”

Squinting, he leaned forward, looking at the two images. “I don’t understand your point.”

“Something is corrupting my files on the portal we submit our projects.” It seemed obvious to me.

Mr. Arnold shook his head. “Only yours? If this was a company-wide problem, then we would have many other projects with the same issue.”

“Let me dig into it.”

“You’re suspended.” Mr. Arnold frowned. “My hands are tied. This is the third project you’ve submitted that wasn’t usable.”

My body went hot and cold and hot again. “You can’t.”

He glared at that. “I can and I have. I’ll look into your claims, but the decision has already been made.”

I wanted to argue again, but the set look on his face made me realize I wouldn’t win.

I was just an omega skating by on my designation, in this alpha’s mind. “Fine.” I gritted my teeth. “I’ll look into it as well. Because I haven’t had so much as a black mark in six years.”

“Which is why it’s only for three days.” Mr. Arnold gestured at the door. “We’ll review when you get back.”

Fury rose in my chest, and for a minute I considered decking him. My omega instincts were on a rampage, feeling both betrayed and unsafe, a potent combination that made me want to lash out.

But two nights in jail had been enough for me. I reminded myself if I was in jail for assaulting my boss, I couldn’t cuddle my pack in my nest. So I left the office.

My head pounded, and suddenly all I wanted was to be around my pack.

I pulled out my phone. Alejandro was busy with a catering job, and Ember had a bunch of client intakes scheduled. Ben and Rian’s studio was a few blocks away.

I could hang out for a bit and then head home.

I texted Rian and Ben in the group chat.

West:

I’m gonna swing by for a little bit if that’s okay.

I drove over there, assuming they might not be able to look at their phones. I could always turn around and leave if they replied and said no.

But I was curious about the studio, and anger churned in my gut. I would just wallow if I went home now.

And honestly, it still felt like I was at Ben and Rian’s house. I could lie around there by myself, but it wasn’t the same as the cottage I shared with Ember.

I pulled up to the studio and checked my phone.

Ben:

hell yeah come on. Use the side door.

I parked and walked around to the side of the building to the door.

I knocked, and Ben opened up with a grin. “Hey, stranger.”

He stepped back, ushering me in.

I saw the allure for sure. On the other side of the window, Rian sat in a chair with thick headphones on and a guitar in his lap, while a massive man with tattoos sang.

“We’re recording, but you’re good to hang out as long as you want,” Ben said, gesturing around the room. “Are you okay? You smell off.”

His sensitive nose never stopped catching me off guard. My scent didn’t smell burnt. I got really good at not letting stress alter my scent.

I had to learn or suffer the hellish consequences.

I let out a breath. “I’m suspended.”

“What?” Ben’s voice was sharp, a hint of alpha bark. I felt my cock stir at his tone. Now isn’t a good time to get fucked, I told my inner omega. Later.

I told Ben about my boss.

By the end he was growling. “That’s discrimination. He can’t keep telling you that your hormones are the reason for your performance.”

“I know.” I rolled my eyes. Ben sat next to me, his knee brushing mine. My cock twitched and I tried to keep my thoughts pure. “But it’s a pain in the butt to call it out. You wind up sounding hysterical.”

“Okay.” Ben’s voice was calm. “You speak with HR and tell them my boss said my heats were no reason for a bad job on the morning of…and then give time and dates. That way it’s specific and clear.”

The thought of making a stink about it made me tired. I’d already endured one hell of accusations and ridicule. Was I really sure that was what happened? Maybe my stepfather didn’t mean to make me feel that way. And so on.

I’m an omega, I thought bitterly. I’m always up for sex, right?

“Thanks.” I patted his leg. “But I got this. I’m going to go over the portal the company uses and find the reason why my projects get corrupted. Mr. Arnold doesn’t touch me or even really leer at me. He’s just an ass.”

Ben grumbled. “I can go in there and go alpha on his ass if you want me to. I also have a really great lawyer on speed dial if you ever need it.”

I sighed and changed the topic. I spent the rest of the afternoon with Ben and Rian, enjoying being around them.

That night, Ember looked ready to murder Mr. Arnold on my behalf but I stopped her. I just wanted to enjoy being with everyone.

No point in making trouble. I just wanted to keep a low profile at work, as much as the computer issues would let me.

Chapter 50

West

Afew days later, I trudged into the office, Ember behind me. We drove in together, and she stopped to talk to a coworker in the hallway. I went ahead, wanting to get my day over with before it even started. I entered the main office floor paused.

The atmosphere was off. Hushed chatter came with rapid-fire typing. I frowned, slowing down as I headed to my desk. A few coworkers look up at me, with pity if I didn’t know better.

My stomach churned, and I felt like I was back in high school again, walking into class with yet another black eye. I ignored them. I was reading too much into things.

Alice, a nice beta woman who occasionally showed me pictures of her Maine Coon cats, patted me on the shoulder as she passed by. “I’m so sorry. We’re working on getting it down.”

“What?” I frowned, glancing around the office again. Dread coiled in my stomach. Something was wrong, and my skin crawled at the sensation of having so many people looking at me.

My instant reaction was to run and hide in my nest.

Alice gestured at the computer screen. All of them, if the identical white screens on the desktops were to be believed. “We can’t get it off. Someone hacked the system. It’s been up for an hour.”

Greg walked over to me, a frown pulling his chipmunk cheeks into a weird grimace. “I’m so sorry. We’re working as hard as we can, but whoever did it was good.”

I took a step toward the closest computer, squinting to read the small print.

With a wave of nausea, I realized what was plastered all over every computer at work.

My juvenile record. I stared at my mug shot, looking at fourteen-year-old me, and it was like looking into a fun-house mirror. I had a black eye and a split lip, and I stared out at the world with a mixture of rage and resignation.

I hadn’t even told my pack what had happened yet. But my sordid past was plastered all over every computer in small black-and-white print.

The lines detailed evidence of sexual assault and history of abuse. I read the report like I hadn’t been there, having those things done to me.

In smaller type at the bottom was another line, this one saying I was charged for assault with a deadly weapon. I’d snapped and went after my stepfather with a knife.

I hadn’t been convicted. The evidence supported what I told the police.

As if looking down a long tunnel, I realized my assault record was on every computer. All of my coworkers knew about it, without the context. Not that the context mattered.

I went after that asshole with a knife because I was tired of him touching me. They said I snapped, that anyone would have, but I knew exactly what I was doing. I was clear-headed when I picked up the knife out of the butcher’s block and hid it under my mattress, waited for him to come after me.

This place full of strangers knew every detail. Another wave of nausea, coupled with violation, washed over me. I didn’t give anyone permission to know these secrets about my life, and yet somehow it was out there.

“What the fuck?” Ember’s sharp voice knocked me out of my daze.

She was glaring at the computer monitors with such vehemence it was like she could take away those images through sheer force of will.

Greg started muttering the same platitudes he had given me, but Ember shook her head. “Where’s Mr. Arnold? This is illegal. Those records are sealed.”

The look she gave me was filled with protective rage.

I shook my head. I had to get out of here.

Ember picked up the phone, and I knew she was calling our pack. Ben and Rian could be here in minutes, Alejandro a half hour if he broke all traffic laws. And he would, to get to me.

I needed time before any of that happened. I needed a quiet moment to put space between the boy I was and the man I had become.

My heart pounded, and another wave of nausea rolled over me.

I turned on my heel and headed back out the way I came in. I would sit in the car and have a nice, well-deserved nervous breakdown.

I left, the door slamming shut behind me even as people rushed to reassure me they would fix it.

But there wasn’t any fixing this.

It was already broken.

Chapter 51

Ember

“What’s wrong?” Ben asked.

I’d called the direct studio number. Ben had answered on the second ring.

“You need to come to our work,” I said tightly. West’s face was eerily blank. He was retreating again. “Someone hacked our system and put West’s juvie record up on every computer.”

Ben swore. “We will be right there.”

West turned on his heel and left, heading for the parking lot. I hung up with Ben and dialed Alejandro.

He picked up halfway through the first ring. I told him the same thing I’d told Ben, and Alejandro also said he was on his way. Through the pack bonds, warm comfort floated into me.

This was bad, but we could get through this. It would hurt, but we could help West navigate the wounds this had reopened. Suing the shit out of the company for starters.

Greg was talking to me, something about getting the bastard that did this, but I ignored him. I followed West out to the garage, talking the elevator down.

I got to the first level, scanning the garage for our car. Maybe West was sitting inside it, having a quiet freakout. The garage smelled weird, like motor oil and something else. I took a few steps forward, wondering if West wanted company this soon, or if he needed a few more minutes to compose himself.

I leaned against the cement wall, debating. Maybe I should wait until Ben and Rian showed up at least. We could⁠—

I yelped as someone grabbed me from behind. A sickly-sweet smell covered my nose. Black spots appeared in my vision.

I thrashed, but whoever had grabbed me yanked me back. I jerked my elbow back, stomped my foot on the ground, but my head started spinning. The smell grew stronger. It was nothing like any scent I’d smelled before, chemical and medicinal, and then the black spots swallowed me whole.

Chapter 52

Ben

Two out of my three omegas were in trouble, and as an alpha I was losing my mind.

We arrived at Computer Solutions in record timing, thanks to Rian’s unwillingness to follow traffic laws. We headed straight for the employee parking, and West met us at the elevator leading up to the office.

His voice sounded thick, like he’d barely managed to hold back tears. “Thanks for coming. Sorry, I needed a moment in the car.”

I pulled him into a hug, but he went stiff instead of yielding. I let go immediately. “What do you need?”

He shrugged. “I’m okay.”

Rian shifted next to me, confused filtering through our bond. “Is Ember chewing your boss out?”

“Maybe?” West sounded confused, like he was struggling to focus. “She saw…everything. I stepped outside to clear my head. Why?”

Rian cleared his throat. “We felt her get really upset through the bond and then it smoothed out.”

“Everything feels like garbage,” West muttered. Rian took my arm, and we headed off concrete floor to harder sidewalk. The shrill of electronic beeps came, and I got onto the elevator.

I reached out through the bond with Ember, but staticky blankness came inside of her usual range of feelings. Like when she was asleep.

She should be livid. Pissed off. Angry, like I’d felt a few minutes ago.

Not this weird quiet.

The elevator pinged and all my senses went to high alert. I swung my cane around the room, tuning in for Ember’s voice. If I could just smell her, touch her, everything would be okay.

“Where’s Ember?” West’s voice was tight, and he must have been talking to a coworker because a voice I didn’t recognize answered.

“I thought she was with you. She left shortly after you did.”

Rian’s brief flare of panic hit me through the bond.

West’s voice was tight. “Go get Mr. Arnold.”

We waited less than a minute before an alpha scent came near us. Hackles raised, I stepped in front of both West and Rian, barely stifling a growl. I wasn’t usually this overprotective, but Ember was weirdly muted through the bond and West was trying to keep himself from falling apart.

“Erm, yes, hello. So sorry about the, uhhh, situation, West. We’re working on getting it removed as quickly as possible.”

“You had better.” West’s voice was cold. “Where’s Ember? Denise said she left after me, but we didn’t see her in the garage.”

“I haven’t seen her.” Mr. Arnold sounded both placating and annoyed.

I stiffened. I had enough with this asshole. “Here’s what’s about to happen. You’re going to cut the power to all of the computers, except for one in your office. Next, you’re going to page Ember in case she’s in the building somewhere, looking for West.”

“I already texted her,” Rian said. “She knows to contact us.”

“But our workday—” Mr. Arnold started, but I held up a hand. “Did you want me to call my very expensive lawyer?”

The other alpha sputtered but quickly caved. “Everyone, power down.”

Long minutes passed. Rian gave me a running commentary, and we were shown to a side office.

I drummed my fingers on the top of the table.

The scent of leather and spice came back into the room, and Mr. Arnold cleared his throat. “We’ve paged Ember, but three other people saw her leave the building.”

“What?” West’s voice was filled with fear. “She didn’t come to our car. She wouldn’t have walked down to the corner market for a bagel.”

My instincts screamed. “Get us the security footage of that elevator. We want to know which direction she went in if she didn’t meet up with West.”

I could feel the other alpha wanting to object. The way he paused, his shape and scent looming. In the end he simply left.

“I tried texting her again, but nothing.” Rian’s worry was an electric brand inside me. I reached out for West’s hand, fumbling in the dark.

West moved his hand and squeezed mine. I didn’t have a bond with him, so this would have to do.

I tried to tell myself I was overreacting, that she would turn up soon and I would feel like I was too protective.

But I knew in my gut something was wrong.

“I shouldn’t have left.” West sounded guilty. “I should have stayed⁠—”

“No,” Rian said immediately. “I would have left too. Having your private business plastered all over the computers? Nope.”

We waited, tense, until twenty minutes later, Alejandro showed up. The other alpha was quickly brought up to speed and we waited for the recording.

“About my record…” West paused, his voice flat.

I put my hand on his wrist. “You don’t have to talk about it. Any of it.”

He ignored me. “I stabbed my stepfather. For touching me.” He paused, and murderous rage rose so quickly I thought I would simply teleport to wherever this stepfather was.

“I was charged, but they didn’t convict. My stepfather died in prison,” he said, patting my hand. The murderous rage must have made it to my expression.

I squeezed his hands, cold and clammy. I hated that life had been so unkind to him, and now someone was using that against him.

“Good,” Alejandro said, his voice hoarse. “Otherwise Ben and I would have taken a little trip as soon as we found out where Ember was.”

West sighed. “I’m fine. I mean, I don’t like my business being plastered everywhere, but I’ve moved on. All of you have helped me move on.”

“Good,” Rian said, his scent shifting. “We would never hurt you.”

“I know,” West said quietly. “Whoever did this, they had to hack the sealed records.”

Mr. Arnold came back into the room, bringing his gross scent with him. “We’ve already alerted security.”

I stood up so fast I banged my knee on the table. “What?”

“The angle is bad, but…” He paused. “We have her leaving the elevator and leaning against one of the pillars. She struggles, and then someone lifts her into a van.”

A roaring sound hit my ears. Alejandro and I snarled at the same time. “Who?”

“The angle doesn’t show anything more than someone a bit taller than her wearing a black ski mask.”

“Call the police,” Alejandro said from my right, his voice tight. In the bond, all we felt from Ember was muted nothingness.

“She’s unconscious,” Rian said. “Has to be. She doesn’t feel upset at all.”

After that was a flurry of activity after that, but my eardrums wouldn’t stop roaring.

Someone had my omega. I would burn the world down if it meant finding her.

Chapter 53

Alejandro

Someone had Ember.

The thought wedged its way into my mind until it was all I could think of. I wasn’t there to protect her. We demanded to see the security footage, in case we could identify something. Anything. We were grasping at straws, but we had to try.

All it showed was Ember hesitating, leaning against the concrete pillar in the parking garage, and in the next moment, someone wearing a black ski mask put a white cloth over her mouth. She struggled but collapsed against the masked person a moment later.

Each second was burned into my mind.

Detective Kelly took over from the officers that had responded to Mr. Arnold’s phone call. I was happy to have someone familiar with Ember’s history taking over. I notified Raina of what was going on, and despite the entire Sullivan clan wanting to drive to the office, we decided they would do better looking for her in the Half Moon Bay area.

But I hated sitting still. I kept squeezing West’s hand, more for my comfort than his.

The detective grilled us on the events of the morning and concluded that the stalker probably pulled this stunt at work so we would all be distracted.

West looked ashen.

I rubbed his back. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Your alpha is right, Mr. Sullivan,” Detective Kelly said. “Cases like this, the stalker starts to lash out at those around them.” He looked around the small office around us. “Can any of you think of what might have changed recently? Anything that might explain this escalation.”

“Yeah.” West snorted. “Ember bonded her two alphas.”

The detective frowned. “That will do it.”

“Can we canvass the streets?” I shifted in the chair again, my body screaming at me for staying put when my omega was in danger. “There has to be something we can do.”

“Let’s go over your workplace first,” Detective Kelly said. “If the stalker can get into the computers servers, there might be a connection.”

“We’ve been having issues with them for months,” West muttered.

“We?” I said, feeling like lightning was striking me. “Or just you?”

West frowned, and Ben straightened up.

“It’s only been your work that’s been sabotaged.”

“The son of a bitch works here,” West said with a snarl.

I growled at the same time Ben did.

“Are you sure?” the detective asked, not unkindly.

“He has to,” West said. “He was here to stage this stunt and then able to take advantage of us being distracted.”

It felt right. I also knew he was holding back a final thought. I touched West’s arm. “Go on, mi corazón. Trust your instincts.”

He sighed. “If I’m wrong, it could cost Ember precious time. I already put her in danger.”

“No, you didn’t,” Rian said.

“You’re not wrong,” I told my omega. “Your instincts are dead on. You knew something was wrong when the nest was destroyed.”

The detective straightened up, like a bird dog that had caught a scent. “You have someone in mind?”

West only hesitated for a moment. “Greg. His desk is across from mine. He keeps asking Ember out and acting like an asshole when she turns him down.”

My blood boiled and I was standing before I realized what I was doing.

I waited as my omega talked about Greg, wishing he were in front of me so I could teach him a lesson about laying a hand on my omega.

Through the bond, I felt it the minute Ember woke up. Pain and confusion shot through all of us, and we collectively jumped.

“What?” West said desperately. “What’s happening?”

“She’s awake,” I said. I sent her all of the love I had for her through the bond, reassurance, and desperately tried to shuttle off any worry I felt.

We were coming for her. She just needed to hold on.

Chapter 54

Ember

Iwoke up tied to a chair, duct tape biting my wrists. My head ached and my stomach rolled. I blinked, my vision slowly coming into focus.

I was in a run-down condo. The decoration style felt like I was in the late eighties, with a hideously ugly brown couch, shag carpet, and wood paneling. I was sitting in a matching brown armchair, with my hands tied behind my back and my feet bound together with duct tape.

Panic shot through me. Someone had kidnapped me.

I glanced around for signs of who it was, where I might be, but moving my head around made my stomach roll.

Sounds from the kitchen made me tense.

Around the corner, Greg appeared. He saw me looking and grinned. The look of relief and joy on his face was completely at odds with the circumstances, enough that I wondered if he was somehow kidnapped too.

“Hey, Sleeping Beauty’s awake.” He picked up a glass of water from the counter and walked over to the chair. “How are you feeling?”

“Groggy.” I swallowed hard, the sickly-sweet taste still in my mouth. “What happened?”

Panic beat inside me, but I had to stay calm. I had to try talking my way out of this.

“Just a little side effect.” Greg actually ducked his head, like he’d been caught pirating music and not using a drug to incapacitate me. “Sorry for the abrupt methods, but I had to get you alone.”

“Why?” I blinked, my mind working too slowly. He had to be the one stalking me, and yet it felt like I still didn’t have all the pieces. How did he expect not to get caught? How did he see this playing out?

“Because you won’t go on a date with me.” Something dark crossed his face. “And then you bonded those loser alphas.” He glared, and chills ran down my spine. “I told you, you’re just a hole for them to fill. A whore. They’re going to use you up and leave you.”

“They bonded me.” Greg was the person stalking me. The notes used the same words exactly.

Greg from the office. The annoying, pushy, but sometimes considerate guy from the office. I couldn’t make sense of it.

I tried to decide if I should use logic or not. “They love me.”

“I love you,” he snapped. “Just because I’m not an alpha, you refuse to give me a chance. It was almost too late. I had to do something.” He looked manic, both angry and pleading.

“You’ve been sending me flowers,” I said, trying to get him to confirm what I already knew. “And trying to romance me the best way you knew how?”

“Exactly.” He looked relieved. “Wasn’t it sweet?”

My bottom lip wobbled. “What about my nest?”

“I am sorry about that.” He raked his hand over his face, almost scouring marks into his own skin. “I meant to leave you a present, you know, something sweet. But then I scented that alpha and I just lost it. You forgive me, right?”

I tried to follow the logic but couldn’t. Greg was justifying any violence he committed as either my fault or out of his control. I had to be very careful.

My pack would find me; I knew they would. But I had to buy them some time.

“You forgive me, right?” he asked again, his tone dangerous.

“Yes,” I said, blinking slowly. “Sorry, the chloroform is making it hard to think.”

“Of course, of course.” His happy manner snapped back. He held up a glass of water to my mouth. I took a slow sip, some of it dribbling.

“Just take it easy.” He beamed, like he’d just won the lottery. “Now that it’s just the two of us, we have all the time in the world.”

I looked around. “Is this your house? It’s nice.”

“It’s my mother’s house.” His voice went flat again, and I noticed his hair was messier than usual. West had mentioned he was moody at work. “It’s not a fancy mansion like those men you’re staying with, but she left it to me.”

“It’s cozy,” I said. I needed to plan, but my head was spinning, and my ears were ringing. Through the bonds I felt my pack’s love and support, but also their panic and worry.

The best course of action seemed to be telling him what he wanted to hear. He was unstable, and I didn’t want to do anything that might provoke him.

“We’ll get a real house,” Greg said, standing up.

“Can you untie me?” I gestured with my hands. “Now that it’s just the two of us?”

He snorted. “I’m not dumb. I know you don’t want me. You’ll go running back to those nasty alphas the second you get a chance.”

I bit my lip. “What if I have to use the bathroom?”

“Soon, okay?” he snapped. “I haven’t got everything prepared. But this is our chance to be together.” He paced out of the room, disappearing down a hallway.

I glanced at the door. Three massive padlocks sat above the regular doorknob. The locks were shiny and new, but the doorknob was old and a darker bronze color. So the locks were new.

My hands and feet were bound and also asleep, with barely pins and needles coming through my fingertips. If I made a break for it now, I wouldn’t be able to get the duct tape off before Greg came back into the room.

I debated, trying to remember statistics on kidnapping. It was the first twenty-four hours that were the most important, right? But if I knew the kidnapper, did that change the number?

I’d have to take a chance to escape the first time I could. We were probably still near San Francisco if this was his mother’s house. And I couldn’t have been unconscious for very long. I glanced around the small living room. A half wall separated it from the kitchen. The air seemed stale, so I didn’t think he was here very often.

A quick glance at the side tables and the coffee table didn’t provide me with a weapon. No convenient heavy vase sitting close by, just a small brown glass lamp that had a short cord.

In the kitchen I would have better luck, especially as he said he hadn’t planned on taking me this soon.

I shuddered, panic threatening to break through at the idea that he had been plotting to kidnap me all along.

I wasn’t safe; he was here, and who knew what he wanted with me. Acidic bile rose in my mouth, and I couldn’t stifle a whimper. Soft soothing pets came from the bonds, Alejandro’s touch there to anchor me. Ben’s fierce determination was so strong it felt like he was there with me, and through them, Rian echoed support and love.

I desperately wished I could feel West in the bonds, but I knew he was feeling love and murderous rage just the same.

I sucked in a breath, black lights flashing in my vision. I was going to have a panic attack and I wasn’t in a safe space. Fresh adrenaline spiked through me, my palms sweating, and I looked at the ugly brown lamp.

The ringing in my ears got louder, and I focused on each glass facet of the lamp. The dusty lampshade was covered with a layer of plastic over the cheap beige canvas. The light switch was black, the sort you pushed in to turn it on. My grandmother had a lamp similar to this one, only it wasn’t as ugly.

Focus on small details, my therapist had told me. When I felt the edges of a panic attack loom, grounding my attention helped. I looked at the coffee table. It was brown wood, the legs curling up at the bottom.

Greg reappeared and I almost lost it. He was smiling, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

He held two syringes in his hands.

“I thought you loved me.” I didn’t bother to hide my distress. My body quivered and the scent of burnt lemon cake filled the air. “What are those?”

He froze, his eyes going wide. Omegas could have that effect on everyone, not just alphas. I didn’t even have to ham it up. I was terrified, and I didn’t want him to hurt me.

“Oh, honey.” He sat down on the armrest of the chair and put his arm around me. “I’m not going to hurt you. I would never hurt you.” He sounded so sincere.

I wanted to scream; I couldn’t understand how he could possibly juggle this level of cognitive dissonance.

“This is going to help us be together. You’re my true mate. I knew that the moment I looked at you. You’ll see, in time.” He picked up one of the syringes. “Once the influence of those disgusting alphas is gone, you’ll understand.”

I shook my head. “What is that?”

He gave me a bashful smile. “Something that will clear away the bonds.”

I jerked like I’d been shocked with electricity. “What?”

He frowned. “They just want to use you. They don’t love you like I do.”

“They respect my personal boundaries, for one,” I snapped, fear and anger twisting inside like a poison.

“I’m doing this for us.” He shifted, pinning me against the armchair, and slid the needle into the meat of my bicep.

It was instant fire and ice through my veins. I shook my head, the room spinning.

“It’s not exactly legal, but I’ve been assured it will work. This will dissolve your pack bonds and then we will be free.”

He grabbed the other syringe. Everything felt hazy. I should have tried the door when I had the chance. I’d thought I had more time to string him along.

“I hate you,” I said, my words slurring. “I didn’t want to go on a date because I wasn’t attracted to you, but this is firmly putting you into the camp of hated people.”

He put the second needle in my arm, in nearly the same place he’d stuck me the first time. “It won’t matter.” He gave me a nasty smile. “This one will put you into heat. You’ll be begging me for a knot.”

Hot and cold and hot again. I shook my head, my mouth going dry. I groped around internally, but the bonds were still there, strong as ever.

But for how long? I’d thought losing one of my packmates was the worst thing that could happen. I didn’t expect something like this.

He wanted to take away my pack. I’d heard about the black market of drugs, but I never thought it was something I’d have to worry about.

My body tingled, and I felt dizzy. I curled to my side, resting my sweaty forehead on the arm of the chair. The faux-velvet texture itched, but I couldn’t bring myself to move.

My heartbeat sped up, and Greg was saying something to me, but the roaring in my ears was so loud, louder than the ocean.

The world went away, and I let it take me.

Chapter 55

West

All I wanted was my nest and Ember. It looked like I wasn’t getting either. We spent the torturous morning answering questions from the police. They went over Greg’s personal effects. Since Greg’s laptop and computer were owned by the company, the police didn’t have to wait for a warrant to look through them.

I’d been hoping the search would turn up something like “where to take a kidnapped omega,” but three hours later, Mr. Arnold’s tech came over with the bad news.

Detective Kelly frowned. “We’ve already got the warrants for Greg’s personal records.”

“Screw the warrants,” Alejandro said. “We know it’s him. Let’s drive over to his apartment right now.”

“He could take that as a threat,” the detective reminded us gently. “Stalker scenarios can end badly if we’re not careful.”

“Which is why we asked you to investigate when their nest was destroyed,” Ben snapped, drumming his fingers on the table again.

Detective Kelly cleared his throat. “I understand your concern, Mr. O’Shea.”

“It’s Mr. Sullivan now,” Ben said, looking at me possessively.

“I’ve applied for a warrant for his personal laptop and PC.” The burly man looked at me. “You must be tempted to hack into his work computer and search for details. But if you found something useful, you would still need to notify me so I can have the SWAT team on-site.”

I grumbled. “I could hack his computer in ten seconds flat.”

Detective Kelley arched a bushy eyebrow. “We’re waiting for the warrant, since that’s the legal course of action. You could search your laptop and text messages. Maybe something will jog your memory, and you can pass it along to us.”

I thought I understood what he was trying to say. He didn’t want me going off on my own looking for Ember; that was too dangerous, but if I could “find” details, they could act quicker than their warrant.

“Of course.” I opened my own laptop. “I’ll check our emails.”

The detective left the room, and Rian leaned over me. “Did that go down like I thought? Find out some dirt, but not so we can go off alone?”

“Yes,” I said. “And even if I’m wrong, I’m doing it anyway. We’re not going to put her in danger by sneaking off without the cops, but I can get them information faster.”

“I’ll bring you some coffee.” Alejandro jumped up. “I can’t sit still anymore.”

I wanted to leave for the house, but Greg’s computer was here, and it would be easier for me to remote into his computer from a few rooms away. I’d make up some reason I needed his computer if there was a problem. We had to stay at the office for that.

Ben and Rian arranged themselves on either side of me, and my finger danced over the keyboard.

Ember needed me. She needed me when she was in physical therapy, working her way back to being able to use her arm properly. When she was working her way back to herself, dealing with heats and grief and everything in between.

I remotely accessed Greg’s computer and started digging. He was a decent programmer, and he had extra layers of protection on his personal computer. It took me half an hour to break through his layers of security. But when I broke through, I found a sickening number of candid photos of Ember.

I left everything untouched. At some point the warrant would come through, and the police would find what I saw now, and this would be used to convict his ass. Right now, I needed information. I dug through his financial records and chat transcriptions, and I lost a minute to rage when I found he wrote a malware program to screw with my projects.

He was the reason I was having issues at work. It wasn’t enough to stalk Ember; he had to mess with the rest of us. I would make sure he went to jail forever. If not, I’d outsource and find someone to make him disappear.

I made a list of hotels he’d stayed at for various conferences. The police had already checked his apartment and found nothing.

There had to be something. He had planned this, had been stalking her for months. I sat back, my failure burning inside me.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Rian patted my shoulder. “We’ll get him.”

“All I have are his apartment and some random hotel room. He could have taken her anywhere.”

Alejandro straightened up from the countertop he was leaning against. “Would he, though? You can’t haul an unconscious woman into a hotel room, not without people asking questions.”

I huffed. “Is she still unconscious?”

“Yes,” Rian said, giving my hand a squeeze. “She’s confused but it doesn’t feel like she’s in major pain.”

I gritted my teeth, envying the pack their bonds. “What if he rented an Airbnb?”

“Did he?”

I glared at the screen. His financial records were squeaky clean. “Not in the last two years. No charges on his bank account or credit cards either.”

“Does he have any family?” Ben asked. “Maybe he’s staying with one of them?”

I tried to remember. I hated people most of the time and hadn’t paid much attention to Greg since I didn’t like him. “No?”

I dug into his computer again. I didn’t have to remember. I pulled up family records, his driver’s license, and his credit report, which would list all previous addresses.

“Parents are dead, only child, aunt that lives in Washington State.”

Alejandro froze. “Maybe he’s going to take her there?”

Rian bit his lip. “He could be driving there now. Did he rent a car?”

“No.” I poked into his financials some more and found records that when his mother had died, she left him the house and her car.

“But he has a car and property under his mother’s name.” I wrote down the name and the address.

It felt cruel to hope. Too cruel, if this was the wrong direction. I could be distracting the police, but their hands were tied until they could access his computer anyway.

“That’s only twenty minutes away,” Rian said, his voice running the line between hope and despair. “He could have taken her there to regroup before moving on.”

“We should tell Detective Kelly. This is worth looking into,” Ben said, standing up. “Tell him you remembered he has property in his mother’s name. That should be public record.”

Alejandro left the room almost at a run. “On it.” He brought the detective up to speed on what I’d “remembered.”

“I’ll assemble a SWAT team,” the detective said. “It’s a good place to start.”

We all stood up at once.

“We’re coming with you,” I said. “Just in case she’s there.”

The detective started to shake his head, but everyone talked over each other.

He held up his hands. “Compromise. Let the SWAT go in first, and then you four will follow in a squad car. Once the location has been secured, you will be allowed out.”

It was the best offer we were going to get. “Fine,” I said. “Let’s go.”

We piled into a squad car, and I prayed to any god listening that Ember was okay. That I had done enough to find her.

Chapter 56

Ember

Time dragged out in bursts of light and sound. I tried to sit up several times but ended up sliding down. My head spun and my skin turned clammy. I was so hot I felt like I would vomit from overheating but then chills made me shake.

“Ember? Can you hear me?” Greg asked, leaning over the chair.

“So cold.” I shivered again, smelling my own sweat and burnt lemon scent with a chemical tang. I gagged, my stomach rolling. I couldn’t remember which way was up or down.

“You were hot a minute ago.” He picked up a scratchy blanket and put it over me.

I whined, shrinking away from it. “Too itchy.”

“Make up your damn mind,” he snapped, throwing the blanket on the ground. “You should be in heat by now.”

“It’s almost like illegal drugs aren’t all that reliable.” I shivered again, burrowing into the arm of the chair. It was too bright in the living room, even though the quality of light was different than it was when Greg brought me here.

How long had it been? It couldn’t have been more than a few hours. Unless I lost an entire day.

“This is great.” Greg stalked across the room, raking his hands through his hair. It was greasy now, and he had dark circles under his eyes, like he wasn’t sleeping well.

Good. I hoped the bastard was flipping out.

My vision wavered, the lines of the carpet and stupid lamp blending until they almost looked like a person.

My body ached, fire and acid running through me like a confusing burst of light. My ears roared.

I jumped in my seat. “What was that?”

“Nothing,” Greg rolled his eyes. “Focus. Are you cramping yet?”

I shivered again, my teeth chattering. My bonds felt woozy. I could feel my pack, but they mixed together until it felt like we were one single person, the same rope made from different strands, and the thought comforted me.

My vision swam and my mom stood in front of me. She had a bowl of soup in one hand, and she touched my forehead with the other.

“You’ve got a fever.”

“Mom.” My voice sounded hoarse. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” She smiled. “We love you.”

Next to her, my dad and pops appeared.

“I didn’t mean to go on without you,” I said, tears streaming down my face.

“What are you talking about?” Greg shook my shoulder. “You’re seeing things. Your parents are dead.”

“I know,” I sobbed. “I didn’t mean to live when they died. I should have died too.”

“Nonsense.” Greg snarled. “You’re mine.”

“Never,” I shouted. My parents stood by approvingly. “I have my pack, and they’ll never leave me.”

Greg’s face clouded in fury, but my parents looked at me with love. He left the room, or at least, I could no longer see him. My head felt too heavy to lift, so I stayed curled in a ball on the armchair.

“It’s okay to move on, pumpkin,” Dad said. “We want you to be happy.”

“I know that. I know that,” I muttered, feeling guilty. “But I should have stayed with you.”

“No, you go on.” Pops touched my cheek. “Love your cousins. Love your sister and brothers. We’re here waiting for you when it’s time, but you have a pack to get back to.”

Greg reappeared with two more syringes.

“No.” I jerked. “No, no more.”

“It’s only another dose.” He leaned over, and I squirmed. Everything lurched sickeningly to the left.

I hit the floor. He held me down, and I whimpered, feeling the bite of the needle. I tried to rip out of my restraints. My shoulder ached, but I didn’t care. He wanted to take my pack away from me. I wouldn’t let him. They were mine, my pack, forever.

Darkness swallowed me, and for a moment it was just like being in the plane crash, utterly broken and alone. But the pack bonds pulsed inside me, and I remembered I would never be alone again. My pack was there. I could almost hear them telling me they were coming, to be strong.

I snarled, trying to jerk my elbow up. My hands were asleep, but I had to fight. I twisted and jerked and bucked, snarling the entire time. Higher thought went away. All I knew was he hurt me, pinned me down, tried to take me away from my pack.

A loud boom came at the door, and I shrieked, bracing myself for more pain.

But nothing came. Men rushed into the house. They looked like a nightmare, their scent heavy with gunpower and plastic. I whined, crying, unable to process what was happening. It was too bright, too loud, too many smells.

One of the men grabbed Greg, lifting him away from me. I wondered if I was hallucinating again. I had to be. My vision swam in and out.

It was still too bright and loud. I whimpered, trying to move back. One of the nightmare men tried to reach for me, but I cried out. He stopped and moved away from my vision.

I blinked, blackness swallowing my vision. I opened my eyes and West hovered over me.

“West,” I said, my tongue heavy. I smelled the rest of our pack around me.

“It’s okay,” Alejandro said, his hand patting my side. “We’ve got you.”

Ben and Rian knelt next to me. Their mouths were moving but the roaring in my ears was so loud, I couldn’t make it out.

I closed my eyes. If I was dreaming, I didn’t want to wake up anyway.

Blackness swallowed me.

Chapter 57

Rian

We had found her. West was right, and that fucking asshole had stashed her in his mother’s house. She was curled in a ball, her hands and feet tied up, when the SWAT team let us in.

She was burning up with a fever, and the urge to hunt Greg down and accidentally stab him a few times was so high, we all took a step toward him as a pack.

The SWAT team dragged him out, and the paramedics moved in.

Ember was out of it, whimpering and whining. We rode to the hospital with her, letting her family know to meet us there. I tried to focus on what they were saying, but all I could think about was how I’d almost lost her. Her hair was disheveled, and she was too pale, but she was here in front of me, and I almost wept from the joy of it.

They admitted our omega quickly. Ember stayed in and out of consciousness, and we crowded her hospital bed.

Ember’s family arrived and settled into her room.

The bastard had doped her up with black market drugs and they were doing blood work to see what they could do to counter it.

A portly doctor came back a few hours later, his face a grim line. “We’re not sure of the effects of the drugs.”

“How are you not sure?” I snapped.

Through the bond, Ember seemed far away. Asleep.

The doctor spread his hands. “No drug is considered safe to dissolve bonds. The combination of drugs for that alone would cause complications, but then he tried to induce a heat.”

All the alphas in the room, Raina and Zephyr included, stood up and snarled at that.

The man looked momentarily terrified. “We’re going to inject some counteragents to lessen some of the effects, but we can’t do too much until the rest of the drugs clear out of her system.” He held out a clipboard. “We need your permission…” He paused, not sure which of us to talk to. “To administer the counteragents. The side effects could be severe.”

He described all sorts of awful things. She could have a seizure, a stroke. It could impact her ability to go into heat, and it could alter the connection we had with her. The bonds might not feel the same afterward.

Ben looked at Alejandro and then at me and West.

“Shit,” West said. “Fucking asshole. I’m going to kill him.”

“Get in line,” Raina snarled.

The doctor looked at Ben and Alejandro. “As her bonded alphas⁠—”

“They have a say, too.” Alejandro gestured at me and West.

“What do you think?” Ben looked at West.

West sighed. “We have to risk it, don’t we?”

“I think so,” I added. The thought of not feeling her brightly through the bond was killing me, but I’d rather have her in my life.

“Do it,” Ben said. “Give her a chance.”

The doctor brought a nurse into the room. Ember’s eyes popped open, unseeing, and screamed about no more needles. Ben and Alejandro held her arms, hoping their scents would calm her, even though it killed them to do it.

She passed out almost immediately. Her temperature spiked and we waited long hours to see if she would settle. She never did. She whimpered and whined. We sat on the bed with her, taking turns telling her stories. I pushed every bit of love and concern I had for her into the bond I had with Alejandro and Ben, bitterly wishing omegas could bond each other.

West held her hand. “Come on, Ember. You can do this.”

We slept in weird snatches, and in the early hours of the morning, Ember woke up.

Feral.

Chapter 58

Ben

When Ember woke up, I knew something wasn’t right. Her scent was off. It wasn’t bitter and burnt anymore but deeper, wild. I rubbed my cheek on her face. Rian was curled up on my hip, and Alejandro and West spooned her other side. My neck and shoulders ached from sleeping in a cramped angle.

I didn’t care. I reached out for her in the bond but only felt…distant apprehension. She whined, and I touched her face. “It’s okay, honey. We’re here.”

Her scent turned bitter, and she snarled.

“What?” I looked around, cursing the hospital and my lack of ability to change the smells and lighting. A quick sniff told me a nurse had come into the room.

“I’m here to check her vitals,” the nurse said.

Ember snarled, her entire body freezing up like she was a hissing cat. She shifted, trying to lay on top of Rian and West at the same time if her body movements were any indication.

“It’s okay, mi preciosa,” Alejandro soothed her, his voice thick with sleep. “She’s trying to help.”

Angry possessiveness raked through the bond. Instinctively, I crowded closer to her.

The nurse’s scent came closer, and Ember jerked in the bed. Something hit the floor.

“Jesus,” the woman said.

“You should leave,” Raina snapped. “She’s obviously feral.”

I was hoping not to go there, that the medicine would work.

A half hour later, the doctor entered the room. His footfalls were heavy, and he smelled sour. “I hear she’s not receptive to visitors.”

Ember hissed, her body locking up again. I pulled her against me, shielding her from the man. I knew he wanted to help but I also knew my omega was trying to claw his eyes out. My alpha instincts demanded I protect her.

“I want to take her back to her nest,” West said firmly. “She already hates hospitals. Being here isn’t going to help her.”

“That’s highly unusual,” the doctor said in a patronizing voice.

I growled.

The doctor kept talking. “We need to monitor her vitals, see if her hormones change.”

“She’s not going to get better here,” I said, reaching over my hissing omega to touch West’s arm. “Our omega is right. She needs her nest. She needs to feel safe and secure.”

“We need regular blood draws⁠—”

“My omega can do it. Julian Kahele.” Sunshine’s voice came from the corner. She sounded determined. “He’s a firefighter. We can take Ember back to her house where she’ll feel safe, and Julian can do the blood draws.”

The doctor grumbled, but after we had a workable solution to Ember’s medical needs, it was a done deal. We checked her out an hour later and brought her home.

Ember’s family followed us. I let them inside the house, and Alejandro took over showing Ember’s family around. It was early afternoon, but it felt like three years had passed since we got our omega back.

“Don’t worry about us,” Raina said. “Get her into the nest and keep us posted.”

We showed Ember the tunnel nest, and she crawled in right away. I curled up next to her, some of the tension finally leaving our bond.

I should have taken better care of her. I should have hired a bodyguard.

“Stop.” Rian nudged me with his foot. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“My omega is hurting,” I growled.

Some of Ember’s scent softened.

“She’ll get better,” West said firmly. Like it was a demand from the universe. “She needs her pack and her nest.”

We napped into the early evening. Alejandro went out for some food, and she whimpered when he left. We fed her chicken fingers and French fries. She ate when we held food up to her, but otherwise didn’t seem interested.

I prayed our omega would come back. I nuzzled the side of her neck. I loved her too much to let her go. If it took ten years for her personality to return, I would wait.

Chapter 59

Alejandro

Vague confusion and fear filtered through my bond with Ember. She liked being in the nest, but her force of personality was gone.

I curled against her, purring. West lay behind me, and we talked softly about nothing important. West’s phone lit up and he checked it.

“Julian’s here,” he said softly. “Let’s see if we can get some blood drawn.”

I remembered Ember’s hissing and clawing at the nurse. “Outside the nest?”

“Yes.” West sat up, looking drained. I pulled him into a quick hug. He clung to me with sudden ferocity before letting go.

I patted his back. It was going to be okay. It had to be. I didn’t find one of my omegas just to lose her.

We shifted outside the nest but leaned against the wall. We kept the door to the nest open in case she wanted to climb back in. Ben kept her in his lap, and I stayed to her left. She whimpered and buried her face in my neck. She was still pale, her skin too warm.

Sunshine came down the hallway slowly, with Julian in tow. Logan’s bonded omega, Julian, was a regular at Talk of the Town. His black hair was pulled into a ponytail, and he wore his blue firefighter uniform. He had a blue duffel bag slung over his shoulder.

“I’m Julian, Sunshine’s omega.” He gave everyone a grin and lingered on Ember, who was giving him a side eye. “Hey, babycakes, how are you?”

Ember made a soft noise in the back of her throat that reminded me of a cat.

Sunshine looped her arm around Julian, her face red and blotchy. “It’s Julian, remember?”

Ember gave Julian the thousand-yard stare, but the other omega didn’t seem bothered. He sat down on the floor a couple of feet away from us, looking relaxed. “I heard you had some excitement lately,” he said, using a calm voice.

I’d seen him at the restaurant a hundred times but never heard him sound so calm and reassuring. He’s damn good at his job, I thought, and we’re lucky to have him in the family.

Julian glanced at me and grinned at Ember. “I see you finally netted yourself a chef. Awesome, now you can have gourmet meals at the crook of your finger.” He lifted his hand up for a high five.

Ember stared at him, but she wasn’t growling. I thought maybe it was a good sign.

West shifted over and gave Julian a quick hug. Julian didn’t smell like anything, I realized, and must have used scent-canceling products so he didn’t smell like his pack.

“Remember at Christmas?” West rubbed his wrist on Julian’s shoulder. “Julian bought us some really great dildos.”

Rian choked. “Oh my god, what?”

West had a ghost of a smile. “Yeah, he said we needed some extra help.”

“We omegas gotta stick to together,” Julian said with a grin. “Nice job on getting another omega, Ember. He’s hot.” He looked at Rian when he said it. “Are you going for a record or something? Three omegas. Sounds like a good time.”

“That’s what I said,” I told him, and squeezed Ember against me. She lay between me and Ben, propped up on Ben’s chest, but just watched us talk like she was on an alien planet.

Sunshine sniffled, digging her fingers into Julian’s forearm. He patted her hand. “It’s okay, babe.” He looked at the rest of us. “I’ve seen worse. A lot worse. Just give her some time.”

Julian pulled his duffel bag closer and pulled out a needle. He held it up but didn’t come closer.

Ember growled when she saw it.

Julian held his hands up. “Okay, babycakes, no needles.” He put the needle away and sat back against Sunshine. “Is she eating? Drinking?”

“When we feed her,” Ben said quietly. “She feels…muted through the bonds.”

“That’s okay. Keep her eating and drinking.” Julian nodded, and Sunshine curled next to him. “She might feel off in the bond for a long time. That’s also normal.”

I let myself hope. Julian was so reassuring. It could be worse; he was right. She could be spitting and howling at us, not even letting us touch her.

We sat for a little while longer, chatting about nothing. Julian patted Sunshine’s leg. “We’re going to go, Ember, but we’ll come back tomorrow. Maybe we can do a blood draw then.”

“Of course,” Rian said. “Please. There’s two spare rooms if anyone wants to spend the night.”

Sunshine shook her head. “Thanks, but…” She sighed. “I need some sleep. I think we all do.”

We’d barely gotten more than snatches of sleep here and there. Sunshine was right. We piled back into the nest and curled around one another. I put West in front of me, next to Ember, and curled around him.

Sleep was a long time coming.

The next day was more of the same. We fed Ember, and she ate what was put in front of her. Julian tried two more times to draw blood.

I hung on to my optimism with both hands. Rian talked to her, sang to her. Promising that she could hear his new songs if she would make the request.

“I’m going to tell her you said that,” West muttered.

“Please do.” Rian’s love and concern shot through our bond, and I kissed his forehead.

The third day, I dared to hope it was better. Ember came out of the nest in the morning, looking around the hallway like she was waiting for Julian.

Luckily, Julian was coming in the morning around the same time, so he arrived with Sunshine a minute later.

“Waiting for me, babycakes?” Julian beamed and hefted a tinfoil pan. “Your alphas tell me you’re being good and eating.”

Ember just blinked at him, like he was a stranger to her. But it almost felt like…something was happening in the bond. Like she was reaching out.

I pushed more love and reassurance to her, and she looked at me, dropping her face on my shoulder. She looked exhausted still, dark circles under her eyes, and her skin was washed out.

“I made Logan make you Sex in a Pan,” Julian said, and nodded at Sunshine. “Your cousin knows how much you love it. You have presents, when you’re ready.”

She watched his face with interest. Suspicion, but interest.

“Luna brought you some lavender,” Sunshine added. “Raina brought you a bunch of Squishmallows. I’ll leave the rest for a surprise.”

Julian sat and chitchatted in his soothing voice. Even West relaxed again, rubbing his chin on Ember’s shoulder. He was wedged between Ember and Ben this time and also looked exhausted.

Julian pulled the syringe out with a needle. “I’d really love to take some blood, honeybun. I know you feel like crap, and checking your blood might help us figure out how to make you feel better.”

Ember wrinkled her nose but didn’t hiss at him. She huffed and stuck out her arm. She turned away, pressing her nose into my neck.

“What a good girl,” I hummed. “So brave.” I kept praising her, Ben and Rian flooding the bond with their approval, as Julian took two vials of blood. West held her tight, whispering in her ear, telling her at least they weren’t at the hospital.

Julian left, and Ember crawled back into the nest. We took a nap, but that evening she crawled out again.

Her family was in the den, overjoyed to see her. Ember just blinked and froze.

Her sister recovered first. “Hey, feeling better?” She switched the TV to the cooking show Ember loved.

Ember relaxed, and we curled up on the couch together.

“I brought you some books,” Terran said, bringing her a tote bag. “I went back to that bookstore. Maybe next time you can come with me, tell me if that alpha and omega pair are hitting on me?”

Ember made a noise in her throat but touched the books. Zephyr approached her next with photo frames. “I brought family photos for your new house.” He gestured around the den. “You have a wonderful pack. We’re so happy you found them.”

Ember made a chirring noise, reminding me of a cat again, and her pleased feeling filtered through the bond.

I tried to remain relaxed. I pushed love back at her, and didn’t jump up and down that she was feeling something other than vague confusion.

“You need to finish that PowerPoint for the turtle pond,” Raina said. Her hair was perfect as usual, but she looked brittle, like she was going to break. “I have no idea how to look up the financials for it if I don’t have the specifications.”

Ember hummed and focused on the television. We watched the amateur chefs on TV do hilariously bad work.

That night in the nest, we lay down and I tried not to hope too hard that her leaving on her own meant anything.

Chapter 60

Ember

It was dark and warm. Safe, my brain said. Safe safe safe.

Confusion warred with instincts. I scented milk and honey, and I rolled over to my packmate. Behind me was guanabana and tropical citrus, a soft contentment through the bond.

I reached out through the bond, scenting dark spicy woods and currant, my other alpha stirring. Asleep. It was safe. I inhaled, smelling sweet amber and moss, my other packmate. I felt him through my bond with my alpha, lingering worry.

They were worried. Milk and honey filled my senses, and I rubbed my face into his chest. My omega. My love.

A memory hit me—pain and fear, falling from the sky, falling from a chair—and I whimpered. Immediately my pack reassured me.

Safety. Love. Contentment. We were safe in the nest. I gathered up some blankets and tucked them around my alpha and omega. I moved some pillows, shifting them behind my other alpha, and pulled up another blanket.

My omega gave me a sleepy look. He looked tired. I tried to reach out to him through the bond and remembered he wasn’t bonded in yet. I rubbed my chin on his shoulder. No matter, he was still my pack. The first one.

“I love you.” He ran his hands through my hair. “Yes, I’m yours. I’m theirs too.”

I hummed in agreement.

“Come back to us,” he whispered, a thread of worry in his voice.

I chirped, wondering what was upsetting him. I looked around, but only pack was in the nest. I patted his chest, fuzzy confusion making it hard to think. I closed my eyes, and behind me, my alpha started to purr.

“You okay?” my other omega asked. Sweet amber wafted closer, and I sniffed his arm. The green moss note was lovely.

I wiggled out of my alpha’s arms so I could settle between my omegas. We were safe. They would know; they were omegas too. Our alphas bookended us.

“Come back to us, sweet girl.” My omega tightened his arms around me. His voice tickled my memory. There was…something there. I made a noise in the back of my throat.

He started singing, and the voice soothed me. Sank deep into me, in the places where only the bonds lived, in my heart. I sighed, and electric excitement zipped into me from the alphas.

He sang to me softly. It was too hard to concentrate enough to understand what he was saying, so I heard the emotions. The love and loss, the heartbreak. He sang and sang until I drifted off, feeling safer than I had in a while.

When I woke up again, I was hungry. I stirred, the nest feeling warm and comfy. It was almost time again, for the omega who wasn’t pack but still family. My pack was pleased when I let him poke me with a…thing.

I reached for the idea, but it swam away. My alpha shifted, the spicy dark woods and currant scent a comfort. I wiggled around my omega and cuddled against him.

He started talking to me, but the words were too hard to understand. Instead, I focused on the steady pulse of love I felt through the bond. He shifted out of the nest and brought us food.

Food. I ate it because I knew it would make my pack happy.

I climbed out of the nest and waited. The other omega came back in a cloud of coconut and pineapple, softly smelling like linen and skies. He chatted, happy, and I let him take more…something. I pressed my face into my alpha’s neck and let the omega do it. It made them so happy when he did.

We went into the house then, the scents of my family around me. Bright pictures moved, too confusing to follow, but it was a nice noise to wash over me while I napped.

We crawled into the nest later, after eating more, snuggling more. The sweet amber and moss scent of my omega was getting stronger, sweeter. The moss earthier. The scent reminded me of the other ways my pack could touch me. I crawled into the nest and crawled on top of him.

He laughed. “Hi.”

I rubbed my face in his neck, wanting more of that amber scent to cover me. His scent spiked, getting sweeter, and at the same time the pack’s scents grew around me. Milk, honey, and almonds,; spicy woods and currant; and tropical citrus. Delicious. I licked his neck, my pussy convulsing at the thought of having him so near.

Mine, I thought. Mine, mine, mine. It was a chant and a plea. I nipped his neck, raking my hands down his shirt. He arched underneath me, gasping. Yes, this is what I wanted, what I needed. My own scent of lemon cake grew stronger, and I felt heady desire curl through the bond.

I pulled his shirt off, his pants down, licking my way over his body. Tasting him. He tasted sweeter, his amber and moss scent so strong. Heat. Breeding. My instincts clamored to have him, take him. Give him what he needed.

He was panting, whining underneath me. I leaned over and kissed my other omega. He plunged his tongue into my mouth, and we entwined around our new omega. Through the bond, excitement and hot desire ran through me, like a river of love.

I ground my hips against him, and he whimpered. “Oh, please, Ember.”

Ember. A name. Mine. Memories tickled me, trying to surface.

I moved his pants down with the help of my other omega and slid myself down onto him. I cried out; this was what we needed, what he was craving. Our bodies together, making ourselves like one, like the bonds that connected us.

I gasped and lifted myself up, sliding onto him over and over. He chanted my name—Rian, my brain supplied, your omega’s name is Rian—and drove him inside me. He came with a shout, and I followed him, pleasure coursing through me.

Mine, I thought, looking at the rest of my pack. Mine, mine, all mine. I let out a noise, trying to make them understand that. They were mine. I wouldn’t let anyone take them away from me. I reached for my love—West, my brain supplied again—and drew him into a kiss.

He wrapped his arms around me, even as I twisted my hips on Rian’s lap. Rian’s scent perfumed everywhere, and his body was hot, so hot. He needed more.

“Mine,” I said, my voice hoarse. I would claim him every way I could.

“Yes, I’m yours,” West agreed. “We all are.”

I made a noise of agreement in my throat. Rian thrust up inside me and I shifted, so I could take West’s cock in my mouth while Rian took me from behind. I had to use my hands, direct them. Words, I thought, more words.

My brain was too slow, Rian’s scent so strong. He understood me and lined up behind me. I whimpered, pulling West’s cock into my mouth and sucking him down. When I pulled away, I nipped his thigh. He shuddered, our alpha running his hands down West’s back.

“I want to be bonded,” West gasped.

Our alphas both paused.

Bonded, I thought. Yes. Yes, he needs to feel the pack too. I nodded, giving him a smile. “Mine,” I agreed. “Mine. Ours.”

“You’re sure?” my alpha asked. Alejandro, my brain added in. Words were good sometimes, even if they were hard.

“Please.” West looked at Alejandro and then our other alpha, Ben. “I want to. I thought I could wait, but I can’t.”

“Fuck yes,” Rian said. He pressed inside me again and pleasure stole the words from me, but this time in a wave of euphoria.

Chapter 61

West

Ember looked at me with love and recognition. I thought I would die from joy. She growled at me, saying mine, and then swallowed my cock down. I shuddered, Ben’s hands caressing me. Softly, gently. In no hurry.

I moaned, shifting my hips back against him. “Alpha, please. Take me.”

He paused. “You’re sure?” His voice was husky, but he smelled good, dark and spicy, and I thought about having his bond on my neck.

My cock got harder, and I nodded.

“Tell me if you need to stop,” he said.

He took his time. Ember swirled her tongue around my cock, Rian taking her from behind. He was in heat, or close, and his perfume filled the nest with sweet amber and mossy oak. It smelled amazing, and I felt like I was ready to have sex for hours. Why bother leaving the nest when we could be in here, loving on each other?

Ember seemed more and more lucid. Or at least, the hazy look could be explained by Rian’s heat.

Ember made me come long before Ben was done dragging his mouth over my neck and back.

I was a quivering mess. “Stop edging me and fuck me.”

Ben gave a dark chuckle. “Oh, I will.”

I arched back against him, forcing his cock between my ass cheeks.

He let out a groan. “Now who’s trying to top from the bottom?”

Alejandro laughed. “You two deserve each other.” Rian rolled over and pulled Alejandro into a kiss.

I was glad. I didn’t think I was ready for both alphas at once like Ember had done. She scooted over to me, kissing me as Ben made soft circles on my body. He covered himself and my ass with lube, pressing the head of his cock at my asshole.

I melted into his embrace. He wouldn’t hurt me. Ever. I knew it and now it felt like my body knew it too.

“There you are,” he whispered, and slowly slid inside me.

I gasped, the feeling exquisite. He moved slowly, so slowly, and it felt like I was being unraveled. I moaned, shuddering, and he licked and kissed my neck, threading his hand through my hair.

“You’re doing so well,” he whispered. “That’s it. That’s right.”

I moaned as he hit something deep inside me, and my cock jumped. Ember made a noise and slid her leg over mine.

She paused, looking at me. I nodded, ready for her. She pushed down onto me, and let Ben set our pace. I held her in my arms, Ben moving inside me, and felt like I belonged. This was my pack, my family, and I ached to feel Ben sink his teeth into me.

I snaked my hand between us and rubbed slow circles on Ember’s clit. She gasped, and Rian sighed as Alejandro knotted him. Perfume exploded in the room, and I felt myself get harder, even though I wasn’t sure that was actually possible.

Ben licked along my neck and then my bicep, and just as I was starting to come, he bit the meat of my shoulder. The bond snapped into place like it was already half formed, and the love and desire of the pack flooded into me.

“Alpha,” I gasped. Love and fierce protectiveness filled me.

Ben rubbed his face on my neck. “Mine,” he purred. “My omega.”

“I’m yours,” I gasped. “Knot me.”

I felt him consider this in our new bond, and I pushed all my desire and certainty at him. I wanted it.

He groaned, his cock jumping, and slid inside me again. Ember kept moving and I was so close again, so close. Ben knotted me and pleasure obliterated me. I cried out as Ben and Ember came too, and we were washed away in a wave of joy.

Ben cuddled me, licking his bondmark, satisfaction filling him. Ember nuzzled her face into my neck, stealing little kisses from Ben.

I lay there, feeling Ember’s steady desire. I didn’t have anything to compare it to, but it felt muted compared to Rian’s fiery lust. I reached out for her, for Ben, and felt like I was being hugged from everyone. I whimpered, overwhelmed in a good way.

Ember nuzzled me until Alejandro pulled out of Rian, and then she all but pushed Alejandro at me.

I laughed. “Yes, Ember. I know.” I looked at Alejandro. “I have another alpha who needs to bond me.”

“If you’re quite sure,” Alejandro said, kissing my chest. “There’s no rush.”

“For you maybe,” I said. “I want you. I want to feel you in my heart like I can feel the rest of our pack.”

“In that case.” Alejandro crawled down my body, licking and kissing me. I moaned, and Ben groaned, his knot still lodged inside me. It took longer for Ben’s knot to go down, between Rian pouncing on Ember, the two of them fucking each other like rabbits, and Alejandro giving me the longest blowjob of my life.

When Ben’s knot finally went down, I rolled over so I could face him, not ready to give up being cuddled yet. Alejandro put his arm around my waist.

“Such a good omega.” Alejandro nipped my neck. “Two alphas and we still won’t be able to keep you in hand.”

“Nope,” Ben said with a grin. His hand slid to my cock, which was trying to get hard. Again. “Wouldn’t have it any other way, though.”

Alejandro worked his hands over my body, and I moaned again. I flipped onto my back and gave a tug so he could climb on top of me. I waited to feel a moment of panic but I felt good. Pleased.

Alejandro slid inside me slowly, and Ben kissed down my body until he found my cock and began swirling his tongue around me. I bucked up, seating Alejandro deeper inside me. “Oh, fuck,” I groaned as Alejandro moved in and out.

It wasn’t long before I was gasping, panting, writhing against the two alphas. Just before I came, Alejandro slowed down, and I whined. He came me an imperious look, one that said I was all his. I had been his since the first time in our cottage; it just took my heart time to catch up.

Satisfied, Alejandro slid deep inside me and bit the skin right over my heart, entirely pleased with himself.

The bond filled me up, like a buoy. I hadn’t known it felt like I was lost in the ocean, with only Ember to hold on to, until I had a pack. My alpha knotted me and I was too out of my mind to do anything but remember how to breathe.

Rian bit the soft spot on my shoulder, his perfume settled. A little bit.

“My turn next,” he said, purring. “I want you to fuck me senseless.”

Ember moaned, and I brushed my hand over her shoulder. “Sounds good, my love?”

“Yes,” she rasped. She had a fierce look of concentration. Words were still hard, but she was coming back to us. Tears pricked at my eyes, and she shifted so she was at my head. She set her face on my shoulder and I sighed.

“We did it. We have a pack.”

Ember nodded, making a warm noise of agreement. I drifted off, happier than I’d ever been. I was pleased with what we had made from the shambles of our life.

Chapter 62

Ember

Rian’s heat lasted days, and by the time he came out of it, it was easier for me to talk. It still felt like I had to concentrate really hard on what I wanted to say, but it didn’t seem to matter to my pack.

By the time we came out of it, tired and sweaty, I felt like myself. I cried with them, and they cried from relief, and we held one another.

Leaving the nest after Rian’s heat felt like a bigger deal, and between me and Rian, we lounged in the nest longer than normal. But we allowed ourselves to be coaxed out with food and gifts.

We also told my family, and they met me downstairs in the den with hugs and tears. I hugged them back, thanking them, grateful I had so many people that loved me.

Despite the fear of losing them, it wasn’t worth holding myself back.

Outside for the first time in two weeks, I took a deep breath in. The north meadow was starting to bloom.

“The turtle pond would be best suited here,” Raina said, pointing at a flat place in the earth.

“You think?” I crossed my arms over my chest, still feeling too exposed in a big field. West hugged me from behind, his reassurance coming loud and clear through the bond we shared.

I enjoyed having that bond, but I didn’t love him any more for it. I couldn’t, since I already loved him with my entire being.

“We don’t have to get a turtle pond this year,” I said.

“It will add value,” Zephyr said, holding a massive printout in his hands.

Luna gestured around us. “We could have an entire section devoted to water-loving plants.”

I laughed. They were serious. “If all I had to do to get a turtle pond was get kidnapped, I could have arranged that months ago.”

Everyone grimaced.

Rian shook his head. “It’s too soon.”

I grinned. “I thought that was funny.”

“You would,” Ben said, leaning against West.

I poked Rian. “Don’t you have songs to record?”

Rian made good on his promise, and I heard snippets of his new album. It sounded like his old album, plus the ten years of love and heartache he’d felt in the meantime. Ben and I both agreed it would be a hit, but not in earshot. Rian was still kidding himself that the reception to his new album would be tepid at best.

He dedicated it to our pack, to the love he found along the way, and I couldn’t have agreed more. I loved my family, but having my pack was life-changing. Soul-altering.

No wonder my cousins were so happy. I glanced at my brothers and sister. They were next if I had anything to do with it, and since I did work for a matchmaking agency, I was pretty confident they would be joining me in packed -up bliss soon.

After all, with my pack by my side, I could do anything.

THE END

Ember has her pack, but there’s more to come!

For more omegaverse with a fantasy twist, check out Omega Sanctuary!

Acknowledgments

This book wouldn’t be here without my readers.

Every time I release a new book I think, well I did my best. And then support and joy pours in from all over the world, and I am humbled. This has been a dream since I was five, and I cannot tell you how honored and grateful I am to have found my readers. Thank you, each and every one of you.

To my family. My husband and son are very supportive of when I have to go make the words. Especially when it’s time to go out to eat to celebrate a book release.

To Sierra Cassidy, Calliope Stewart, and Melissa Huxley, thank you so much for sharing this journey with me. It’s a crazy genre that we love, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

To Meliss Barbee, one of my best friends who has believed in me since high school and beyond. Thank you for letting me dump random plot problems on you at all hours of the night.

To my alpha readers, thank you so much for helping me crowd source awesome. Your input was so helpful.

To Kaara Newell thank you for cheering me on and listening to me talk about how hard writing is. We’re going to take over the world together, one book at a time.

To the omegaverse writing community, you are an amazing group of authors to share a genre with.

To Liz and the Other Liz, thank you for always being there for me.

To Anna who has always been there to cheer me on and send me emotional support yarn pictures.

Also by Mira Kane

OMEGA SANCTUARY SERIES:

Omega Sanctuary

Omega Court

Shrine of Fire

COSMIC BONDS:

Stella

Luna

Sunshine

Ember

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