Pillar of the Wolves

By Lola Glass

Copyright © 2021 Lola Glass

authorlolaglass.com

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Names, characters, and places are products of the author’s imagination.

To Roman and Henley, for changing my life

1

“You have twelve hours to make it to the courtyard. If you don’t know how the desedra words, ask a friend,” I said before striding toward the door that would lead me off the stage, away from the crowd.

Tuslan tried to grab my wrist as chaos broke out in the ballroom below us, but his hand crashed into an invisible barrier. It was my magic, partly, but I hadn’t created the barrier myself.

I turned to look at him anyway, because despite my secrets and lies, my feelings for him were real.

My breath caught at the sight of him. Massive and strong, with wild dark hair falling into darker, wilder eyes.

Eyes that were locked on me.

“We’re not finished, Mesa.” The silk in his voice could’ve cracked me open.

Mesa.

Not Leviathan, or Phoenix.

Not even Blue.

Mesa.

I tried not to let him see how much the word had hurt me. Even though I’d known he would hate me when my identity got out, the damned word still hurt. “Good luck, Alpha,” I said, feigning far more confidence than I felt as I strode off the stage.

Tuslan tried to follow me, but his whole body hit the barrier his hand had collided with a moment earlier. When he’d added his magic to the desedra, he’d gotten himself trapped in the competition: a massive, invisible maze with walls created by barriers that even I couldn’t control.

My guards gaped at me as I strode past them, my heart pounding rapidly.

“What just happened?” Zeva demanded, as they all rushed to keep up with me.

“I grew up,” I told them, spinning to face them. “What the hell were you guys thinking? Going to the Blood Pack, begging Tuslan to fight in my desedra? They made a plan to take over Royal and drag all of us to Blood Territory, locking my emotionally fragile self in a tower. In what world is it a good idea to tell people the Queen is too weak to defend herself?”

I flung my hands out toward the stage. “Now I have to do damage control, acting deadly and shit. If you went and said the same things to other Alphas, I don’t even know how the hell I’m going to pick up the pieces of this.” I gestured to myself, and to the ballroom.

The door slammed open behind us, and Alyx and Keena stormed through.

Alyx’s expression I couldn’t read, but Keena looked pissed.

“Leviathan?” she yelled, storming toward me. “I’m going to fucking kill you!”

My guards shoved me behind them.

I threw a barrier between the groups, and both Keena and Ellery slammed into it as they went at each other.

“She’s not going to kill me,” I snapped at my guards. “She’s just hurt, and when Keena’s hurt, she’s violent.”

“I hate that you know me that well,” she huffed, her fists clenching at her sides. “How the hell are you the Queen?”

“It’s pretty simple, really,” Alyx drawled. “We all expected so little of the Human Queen that when we found her on our land, we assumed she was just a weak shifter.”

“You underestimated the Queens,” I nodded.

“Tuslan’s going to kill so many people.” Alyx brushed hair off her face.

“I am so beyond confused,” Zeva declared.

“She swam to the Blood Lands when I told her to head to Pine,” Sable said quickly. “They adopted her in, the Blood Alpha developed a lalidro when he touched her, and they trusted her up until all of that just happened.” She shook her hand out toward the stage. “At least, that’s what I’m guessing.”

“The Blood Alpha what?” Zeva demanded. “The gorgeous, five-form, leviathan shifter, who is possibly the most attractive and dangerous man in Tendira, what?”

“All of you underestimated me; not just them.” I told my guards, gesturing to Alyx and Keena.

“But why didn’t you come back with us when we were there?” Ellery demanded, her face pale.

“Probably because one of you betrayed her.” Keena glared at the group of guards. “The damned Tidal Pack told us that much.”

The guards looked around at each other before looking back at the Blood Pack ladies. “That’s not possible,” Sable argued. “We’ve been together for centuries, defending the Queens.”

“I can’t get past the fact that Tuslan Blood looked twice at a human,” Zeva announced.

Anger flooded me, and I itched to smack her.

“He didn’t just look twice at her; he fell in love with her,” Keena growled. “Mesa, step away from them. You’re with us now.”

“I’m not with any of you right now,” I glared at both of them. “One of you betrayed me,” I flung my hand toward the guards, then flung the other toward Alyx and Keena. “And all of you want to mate me with Paik and lock me in a damn tower.”

Keena and Alyx grimaced. “We don’t have a new plan yet, but I’m sure it’s changed,” Keena said. “Tuslan wouldn’t have joined the desedra if it hadn’t.”

“Tuslan didn’t have time to think his decision through. I’m sure when the first round of the competition’s over, you’ll get together and come up with another plan that’s equally as insulting to the emotionally fragile human as your previous one,” I scowled, dropping the barrier between the women and striding out toward the courtyard. I’d be expected to remain there throughout the entirety of the desedra’s first round, waiting for champions to emerge.

Zeva called out, “Are we absolutely sure that the Blood Alpha is off the market? Because I’m still not understanding how he—”

Turning, I slammed a barrier in front of her. She hit the wall—not hard enough to hurt her, because I wasn’t a murderous bitch.

“The Blood Alpha is the only person who’s ever seen my power for what it is. I’m sure he’ll be back on the market now that he’s realized that I’m not who he thought, but until his lalidro is gone, you’re going to keep your mouth shut because he’s mine.” My words came out sounding far more beastly than I intended.

All of the women stared at me. Blood pounded in my ears, my magic and fury mingling and throwing me off balance.

I wrestled my power back, stepping away from Zeva and moving toward the courtyard before I lost my damn mind and became exactly the emotionally-fragile human they expected me to be.

The women caught up to me when we stepped out of the castle, and we made our way to the gold canopy the previous Queen’s guards had set up and were manning.

Stepping under the canopy, I forced myself to stay calm as my magic reformed its typical barrier over my skin, a physical protection in case one of the women decided to forfeit her own life by trying to kill me.

Cina’s guards all hugged me fiercely. Their names and faces blurred together, with those of my guards.

One of them had betrayed me.

One of them was the reason the Shifter Queen was dead.

One of them was the reason Lennox was dead.

“How does this work?” Alyx asked me, stepping up beside me as the reunion ended. Cina’s old guards would be assigned to the infant Human Queen when she was born, so they split up to go keep watch on the men in the desedra. “I’ve never been to one of these before.”

I sat on the edge of one of the chairs brought out there for me—probably by some member of the Royal Pack I’d never been allowed to meet.

That was going to change, too.

“I was forced to put part of my magic inside the wall on the stage when I was about three years old,” I explained, staring at the castle. “Cina would never tell me where it came from, but putting my magic in it was like being temporarily mated to the wall; in exchange, it put a barrier over my magic. That’s why Tuslan could never truly feel my power.”

“So there was a barrier over your magic?” Alyx asked.

“Yes. It’s pretty much gone now that the competition has started, and now my magic will latch onto whichever male wins. When I told Tuslan I couldn’t choose a mate, it was the truth. He just refused to listen.”

“Sounds like Tuslan,” Keena muttered.

“How does the contest work, though?” Alyx checked.

“The desedra itself—that wall you saw—uses my magic and that of the men who’ve connected to it. It forms an invisible maze. I can see the walls of it, but no one else can. If they don’t escape the maze after twelve hours, the desedra releases their magic and no longer considers them worthy.”

“What if no one makes it out?” Keena asked.

“That’s never happened before. But if it did, I imagine I’d just reset the wall and they’d try again.”

My eyes traced the glass-like appearance of the parts of the maze I could see. It began in the ballroom, and spread through the castle and out to the courtyard.

Alyx sat down in a chair near mine. “There were eight or nine hundred men in the competition, right?”

“Eight-seventy-three, counting the Blood Alpha.” Wren said as she sat in another one, her back to the glass-like walls. “We usually have two rounds, and fifty competitors or fewer, depending on how much the human looks like a shifter. There will be a lot more rounds with this many competitors.”

I scowled. “So if I was tall, I’d have more people competing for me?”

Keena grinned. “If that was the only deciding factor in looking like a shifter, I’d be out too.”

“You’re buff, though.” I pointed to her bicep; her muscles were left visible by the black cotton bandeau she wore. “I’m squishy.” I poked myself in the arm.

“It makes you look nice,” she countered.

“And the Blood Alpha likes nice women?” I lifted an eyebrow.

Her grin widened. “Not usually. I’ve never seen him like any women. I think he made an exception for you.”

“Because he thought I was a Leviathan.” I shook my head, staring at the maze.

“I imagine it wasn’t pleasant to hear us talking about the vulnerable Queen,” Alyx said, prodding me for information.

“If you have to imagine that, you’re not as smart as I gave you credit for,” I shot back.

“Well if we’d known you were her, we wouldn’t have said that shit,” Keena shot back. “And if we’d known who you were, we would’ve protected you a little better.”

“I was betrayed by my own guards. My family. How could I trust strangers?” I stared out at the desedra’s walls. “For all I knew, you were working with the Tidals too. I was waiting for my magic to finish transitioning so I could at least protect myself before coming back here to see if anyone was alive. Plans changed when we found that Tidal. Now, I have to try to stay alive while this goes on.” I gestured toward the desedra.

“So how many rounds do you think there will be?” Keena asked Wren.

I didn’t hear her answer.

“That display back there wasn’t your full power?” Alyx asked, her forehead knitting together.

“No.” I fisted my hands, then opened my fingers as I watched the barrier magic slide over my skin, looking similar to the desedra’s walls. Its appearance reminded me of constantly-moving water, or extremely thin glass. “I have a few weeks left until I reach full power, unless the desedra ends before that. Then, my magic will all return when I’m officially mated.

Alyx nodded. “How much stronger will you get?”

“I told you she’s stronger than Cina ever was,” Ellery reminded the woman.

“What if our guys start taking people out?” Keena countered.

My attention went back to her.

“Paik and Tomo were planning on killing anyone who’s too violent to mate with the Queen, in case Paik didn’t manage to win. Now that Tuslan’s in there too, and she’s not just the Queen, she’s Mesa, I imagine the ballroom’s probably a bloodbath.”

“You think he’ll kill more people because I’m out here?” I interrupted.

That seemed unlikely.

Keena’s head bobbed. “I think he’s going to look at the room full of men and realize that they’re all there because they want to mate with you, and he’s going to lose his damn mind,”

That was even more unlikely, I thought.

“He won’t kill the decent ones, unless they give him reason to,” Alyx countered.

“I betrayed him, and Tuslan doesn’t do second chances. If he’s trying to win this, it’s just to spite me,” I argued.

“You could be right,” Alyx agreed. “But I think you’re wrong.”

All of us turned as the first group of twenty or so men emerged from the castle. My guards had told me before that after one found the way through, the others could follow his scent to go the same way.

My stomach clenched as I scanned the group for Tuslan.

The men were dressed in white, blood-speckled, and looked pissed, but seemed to be working as a team. And the Blood Alpha wasn’t among them.

“Sand,” Alyx murmured. “Our guys won’t kill them.”

The sand guys stumbled around, their hands on the invisible walls as they worked together to find the opening that would lead further into the courtyard-section of the maze.

“They also won’t kill anyone else,” Keena countered.

“Our guys will probably defend them, though,” Alyx said, standing and walking up to the edge of the canopy. “Unless they’re cutting it close on time, or Tuslan’s… gone mad.”

I didn’t think Tuslan would go mad, but arguing against that didn’t seem to be working, so I didn’t bother.

More men in white followed the others, their color giving them away as Sand Pack.

“Why won’t your people kill them?” Ellery asked Alyx.

“Our pack will focus on the Lava guys first.”

“They don’t like Lava Pack?” I asked Keena. I knew Tuslan had grown up there, and the pack was fairly cruel. He’d said kindness was a weakness in the pack.

“Ha.” She laughed, though she didn’t seem amused. “Tomo and Tus are both from Lava. If Lava land was any closer to ours, we’d be in a constant war with them until one or both of us was extinct. Tuslan doesn’t give second chances, but we give everyone a chance. The Lava pack doesn’t give a shit about chances; they see cruelty and violence as strength. If you mated with one of them, they’d break you. Not because you’re fragile, but because they’re monsters.”

And Tuslan had been one of the lead wolves for that pack… no wonder he was a little bloodthirsty.

“So this is a chance for revenge?” I asked her.

“No. This is a chance to take out a bunch of sick bastards who would be proud to abuse any of us, just because we’re women.” Alyx’s voice was sharp. “And those fuckers deserve what’s coming for them.”

I’d never heard her that violent before, but I guess there was a reason she was one of the lead wolves in Blood.

“You may not like it, but you’re lucky our guys are here. The Lava bastards could take down most of the other packs, but not ours,” Keena remarked.

“It’s true,” Ellery said, from where she stood beside Alyx. “Many of the ex-Queens have ended up mated to Lava males, and none of them are the same as they once were.”

That darkened my thoughts. “I’m going to get them away from their mates,” I told Ellery.

“We’ve tried. They’re afraid of what the men will do to them when they eventually find them,” she said, not looking back at me.

“You can’t make barriers. If they’re in the same city as me, I can protect them.”

“It would require constant effort on your part,” Ellery said, like she’d considered it before. “It’s not feasible in the long run.”

“The Blood Pack has a pretty little tower they’d love to hide some Queens in. I’m not moving in, so I’m sure it’s still open.”

Keena grinned. “This is why we like you, Phoenix.”

“I’m not a Phoenix,” I shot back.

“No, but you’re just as fiery as one.” She sprawled her legs out in front of her. “How long does this thing last again?”

“Twelve hours,” Alyx said. “Which means our men will spend at least ten of them fighting the Lavas.”

“I’ll talk to a few of the ex-Queens. See if they’re interested,” Ellery told me. “Assuming your tower is open.” She looked at Alyx, who nodded.

“Our doors are always open to mistreated women. Especially those trapped in Lava.”

2

The Valley Packs’ men followed the Sand ones, and Rain and Pine followed them. After that, the group was a mess of men—many from Royal, and Blood, and the rest of the other packs too.

The first of the Sand guys made it out of the maze after five hours had passed. When they got out, others followed much more quickly. My guards were right about them following other people’s scent trails.

The sun was setting when we finally saw Paik. He strode out of the castle, covered in blood and wearing a feral grin that nearly made me shudder.

Tomo was behind him, covered in an equal amount of blood but not grinning.

And I couldn’t help but feel relieved when Tuslan emerged, too. Unlike the others, he wasn’t covered in blood.

But, unlike the others, he was a phoenix who could clean his skin with his flames.

My eyes lingered on his abdomen, and I couldn’t help but feel a sense of loss when I saw that it was bare.

Whatever he’d felt for me was gone.

The thought was so painful my chest actually hurt.

No one followed the Blood Pack men out.

They strolled through the maze, following the scent trail left by everyone ahead of them without hitting a single damned wall.

“Those cocky bastards,” Keena muttered, though she was still grinning where she stood with Alyx. They were a few feet away from me, and I was making small talk with a few of the men who’d already emerged from the castle.

Many of them wanted to meet me, and while I didn’t really care to meet them, that had been the purpose of my speech on the stage. I needed them to respect my power, and in Tendira, respecting someone’s power was the equivalent of liking them.

“We would be honored if one of our champions mated with you, Queen Mesa.” The Sand shifter put a fist to his chest. “A mating between our packs would promote peace in a way nothing else could.”

“You’re probably right,” I said, pasting a smile on my face despite the irritation I felt. “But as I’ve said, I don’t control who wins the competition.”

“You seem to have taken the Blood Pack’s side, though, since you wear their color around your neck and finger,” another Sand male pointed out.

My hand lifted to the necklace around my neck.

I’d forgotten I was wearing it; the thin chain Tuslan had given me.

“They were gifts.” I didn’t let my mind go back to the reason I’d been given them. “And I’m going to give them back, so don’t worry yourself over it.” I slipped the ring off my finger, tucking it in my pocket. 

“May I?” The Sand male gestured to my necklace.

He wanted to take it off me, I assumed. 

“You may not.”

He withdrew his hands quickly, taking a step back. “My apologies.”

“Would you ask to touch a female shifter you don’t know?” I countered.

“She would probably remove your head if you did,” Keena remarked, striding over. Her hands were in the pockets of her billowy pants, but between her ass-kicking boots and those muscles of hers, I thought she still looked like she could kill anything she wanted to.

The ink-colored lalidro on her abdomen only made her look fiercer.

“Akeena Fringe,” the man said, his eyes sweeping up and down her figure. “Not quite the violent youngling you were a century ago, are you?”

“Keena Blood, to you,” she said coolly. “And I think you’ll find that my violent tendencies have only gotten stronger.”

The man scowled. “Such wasted potential.”

“Such potential would’ve been wasted on a pointless fucker like you,” Tomo snarled, stepping between Keena and the man. “I should’ve killed you when I had the chance.”

“Tomo.” Keena’s voice was hard and unwavering. “I can fight my own battles.”

“It’s a pity you joined the pack of outsiders,” the Sand male drawled. “We could’ve given you a real home and family.”

Tomo lunged for the man.

I could’ve put a barrier between them, but the guy was such an ass to Keena that I thought he probably deserved what was coming.

“Tomo,” Keena snapped again, this time as she threw her body between the Sand and Blood men. Tomo slammed into her, hard, but her arm went around his back, holding him in place. “Go fuck yourself, Orco,” she called over her shoulder as she dragged Tomo away from the Sand asshole.

My gaze ran over the crowd of mingling shifters, my ridiculous heart falling when I didn’t see Tuslan anywhere.

“He went for a flight. Said he needed time to think,” Alyx murmured, practically appearing behind me.

“I knew he was going to change his mind when he knew who I was. It doesn’t matter,” I told her, my voice remaining even.

She didn’t look like she believed me.

I didn’t really believe me either.

Another male came to talk to me—this one from Valley.

“You’re more beautiful than I thought you’d be,” he started.

Jackass.

“Because I’m human?” I put a hand on my hip, and he chuckled.

“Because you always had that barrier covering yourself. I thought you were just ashamed of how you looked.” He waved a hand over his face. “I’m Carse.”

Oh.

I felt a bit bad for assuming he was a jerk.

“Have we met before?” I asked him. It was rare for me to be around men before Cina died. “If you’ve seen me with the barrier, we must’ve.”

“I’m one of the shifters who carries new mothers and their babies to the castle for their blessings,” he explained. “I’m here once a month, but we’ve never had a conversation.”

“Cina preferred me to sit back and keep my mouth shut,” I explained.

“I can imagine why. You’d have made her feel weak and unattractive.”

My face flushed. “Thanks, I think.”

“No thinking involved.” He winked. “That’s some necklace you’ve got there.”

“Is it? It was a gift.” And truthfully, I didn’t know what the gem was.

“Yes. I’m not a professional, but I am a dragon.” His eyes lingered on the stone. “It looks like a black diamonte, the rarest gemstone on the planet. May I?” he held his hand toward the necklace.

I was curious, so I lifted it away from my neck and held it out toward him.

He leaned closer, his eyes leveling with the gem as his big fingers held it carefully.

“Yeah, it’s definitely a diamonte. Feel the edge there, how it’s smooth?” He handed it back to me, careful not to touch my skin.

“I thought it felt sharp,” I said, running my finger over it. It did feel smoother than it had been when Tuslan first put it on my neck, though, which was weird.

“They shine the best when cut sharp as knives, but the gem doesn’t like to stay in harsh lines,” he explained. “Diamontes have attitude. They round themselves out, over time.”

“Really?” I pulled my ring out of my pocket, running my finger over the smooth bit I was pretty sure used to be sharper too.

“Like this?” I handed the jewelry to him.

He took it and looked at the piece. As he did, his eyes grew wide. “I’ve never seen one this big. You could buy a human kingdom with it.”

My eyebrows lifted. “Give it back, then.”

He chuckled and handed it over. “Whoever gave it to you must think you’re more beautiful than he expected, too.”

I snorted.

Carse wasn’t exactly wrong, though that had nothing to do with Tuslan giving me the gift.

“This gift will be going back.”

“Why?”

“I’d rather not talk about it.” I slipped the ring back in my pocket, reaching up to my neck. It took me a minute to get the clasp undone, but when I did, I closed it and slipped it in my other pocket.

“Be careful about returning a gift like that. A dragon doesn’t take kindly to his gifts being unappreciated.”

“I never said he was a dragon,” I countered.

“The only shifters who bother collecting gems worth more than kingdoms are dragons.” He grinned at me. “Nice try, though, Queenie.”

I laughed. “Just call me Mesa.”

“I could probably guess which dragon gave you the gift, too, if that would impress you,” he offered with that same grin. “Let’s see…” His gaze swept the area, lingering on a few people. “Hmm. My money’s on Clois, from Rain. That bastard’s got an underground collection rumored to be bigger than the Tidal Pack.”

My smile widened. “Nice try, but no.”

He lifted his eyebrows. “Really? Damn. Alright, second guess is Reever, from the Fringe.”

“Wrong again. Just think of the last shifter you would expect to give someone a ring, and you’ll probably be right.”

His eyes widened fractionally. “Not—”

“Mesa,” Paik strolled up to my side, still covered in blood. “Pack meeting in five. You done flirting?”

My face flushed as anger rolled through me.

“Really?” Carse’s eyebrows lifted into his forehead. “The Blood Alpha’s got his eyes on you?”

“More like he’s got his talons up her—”

“I will kill you, Paik,” I said, throwing a barrier over his mouth. He opened it, and then frowned when nothing came out.

“Useful trick,” Carse said, all hint of his smile gone. “You let me know if he changes his mind.”

“It doesn’t matter if anyone’s mind changes; I’ll be with whoever wins the desedra,” I said, my voice even as I strode away from Carse. Paik followed beside me, and I pulled the barrier from his mouth.

“Be glad Tuslan didn’t witness the sheer cuteness of that interaction,” Paik remarked, rubbing his mouth as if the barrier had hurt, which I knew it hadn’t.

“Tuslan doesn’t care who I talk to.”

“Why would you believe that? He didn’t kill fifty Lava men because he wanted them to mate with you.”

“He killed them because he’s a good man, and they weren’t. Because he’s looking out for the Soul of Tendira, not because he’s possessive of me. If he was still possessive, he wouldn’t have left me in the middle of this courtyard, surrounded by hundreds of men.”

“He did tell me and Tomo to stay close to you…” Paik scratched his chin. “Obviously we didn’t do a great job of it. Let’s not tell the Alpha about that little conversation with the cute Valley dragon, okay?”

“I’m sure he’s not going to want to talk to me, so you don’t need to worry about that.”

Paik glanced sideways at me. “He wouldn’t have told me to bring you to the pack meeting if he didn’t want to talk to you.”

Shit.

“I thought you made that up.”

“Nope. Alpha’s ready to make a new plan.”

“I’m not listening to another one of your humiliating, degrading planning sessions,” I said, turning down the path that would lead to my rooms and leaving him standing in the middle of a mostly-deserted hallway.

Paik called after me, “You don’t want to challenge Tuslan on this, Mesa.”

I spun to look at him, still moving backward. “If I didn’t want to challenge him, I wouldn’t have bothered lying about who I was.”

Paik’s grin told me he agreed.

“He’ll hunt you down if he has to,” he added, as I headed down the hall.

“Doubt it,” I called back, then stopped.

Paik waited for me to walk back to him, and he was still wearing that damned shit-eating grin.

“Give these back to him for me.” I pulled the jewelry out of my pockets.

His grin vanished as I set the ring and necklace in his hands.

“Tell him I get it.” My throat swelled. “And that I’m sorry.”

“He’s not going to accept that,” Paik warned.

“He’s going to have to.” I turned, ignoring his eyes on me as I walked away.

3

My stomach growled on the way back to my room, so I stopped in the kitchen. The cooks were all working crazy hard, getting ready for the feast the next day. There was always one day between desedra rounds, and there was always a feast on that day.

A human-food feast, not some kind of raw-meat-festival.

I threw together a tray of food for myself. The Shifter Queen had never let me befriend the chefs, but we exchanged tentative smiles as I piled bread, cheese, meat, and fruit up on a large plate before heading to my room.

I had to wrap the food mountain in a barrier to keep everything on top of it, but there was a level of satisfaction that came with being able to use my power again, especially out in the open. It made me feel normal.

Ellery caught up to me on my way back to my room. I was pretty good at losing my guards before Cina’s death, and apparently that hadn’t changed.

“You know you’re supposed to tell us when you leave,” Ellery bit out.

“I wasn’t sneaking away this time. Paik walked me to the castle.”

“We don’t trust them,” Ellery argued.

“Neither do I.”

It wasn’t entirely true. As a whole, I trusted the heads of the Blood Pack more than I trusted my own guards.

“I’ll protect myself from now on,” I told her.

I was tired of being followed constantly. And in the end it hadn’t kept Cina alive, so what was the point? Knowing I might be openly followed by someone who wanted me dead was even worse than being on my own.

“I’ll find the traitor and rip her heart out myself,” Ellery growled.

“Really, I can take care of myself. I survived a week and a half alone on the Blood Beach, and then about four months with their pack.”

“The Alpha was protecting you,” Ellery pointed out.

“That’s debatable. He made me a target as often as he kept me safe.”

That was a bit of an overstatement, but I couldn’t trust the guards and I wanted my freedom, badly.

“I’ll keep watch in the hallway for now, but we will be talking about this,” she warned.

I saluted her, slipping into my room and shutting the door with my shoulder. I had to contort a little to lock the door, but got it locked and then turned.

And froze.

Tuslan was sprawled out on my bed, shirtless and shoeless and looking like the literal personification of sex.

The sex we’d nearly had.

Beasts, I needed help.

“You’re supposed to be at a planning meeting.” I clutched my food to my chest.

“So are you,” he drawled. His eyes were narrowed, though, and trained on me.

I feigned calmness. “Is this where you tell me I’ve betrayed you? And crushed your heart in the process? Where you curse me for being clueless and cruel?”

“You were never clueless, or cruel. And I don’t recall being betrayed or having my heart crushed.”

My heart beat more rapidly.

That…was not how I saw this conversation going.

“I am pissed about this, though.” He lifted his hand, showing me the ring slipped halfway over his pinky.

My ring.

My heart clenched painfully.

“Why does this smell like another man?” Tuslan’s voice was lower, edged with fury, but still silky.

“I was showing it off.” I crossed over to the side of the room, to the small, round wooden table set up with two simple chairs. I was royalty, yet the room was much duller than the home I’d had in Tuslan’s land, and in his lair. The floors were dark tile, the walls painted white. It was…boring.

“And what did the man think?” The fury was heavier in Tuslan’s voice.

“That I should reconsider returning a gift to a dragon. Especially one who cared enough about me to give me a ring worth a human kingdom.” I glared at him, sitting at my table and removing the barrier from my mountain of food. A few berries rolled off the top, and I caught them with another barrier.

I wasn’t as strong or as fast as a shifter, but my power made up for it in some ways.

Plucking the food off the barrier, I popped the berries in my mouth.

“Mesa Royal, the Shifter Queen,” Tuslan mused.

“We were talking about a ring,” I pointed out, grabbing a few more berries off the top of my food tower. “An extremely expensive ring.”

“Priceless is a better word.”

“A priceless ring, then. If I’d known it was priceless, I would’ve turned it down.”

“Which is precisely why I didn’t tell you.”

I scowled at him. “The man didn’t touch me, if that’s what you’re insinuating. He was quite the gentleman. Of course, I would’ve made him regret it if he had tried to touch me. Which he probably realized.” I picked up a chunk of cheese, breaking off a piece and throwing that in my mouth next.

Beasts, I was starving.

“Who is he?” Tuslan asked.

I lifted an eyebrow at him. “Do you really think I’m stupid enough to give you his name, so you can hunt him down and make him regret so much as looking at me? Yeah, right. I may be an emotionally-fragile human, but I’m not a complete moron.”

Tuslan sat up abruptly. “None of those insults were geared toward you,” he growled.

“There’s only one human in Tendira, Red. Who else could you have been talking about?”

He worked his jaw back and forth, clenching and unclenching it.

“Struggling for words, Blood Alpha?” I drawled.

“It was all a lie, then?” he finally asked, through gritted teeth.

“I only lied when I had to.” I set the cheese back down on the plate and turned more toward Tuslan. “And only about things that I knew would give me away, like the barrier on my magic or my supposed past as a traitor in Pine. The rest of it was real.”

That seemed to relax him, but only a little.

He leaned back to the bed.

I didn’t let myself think about the fact that it would smell like him after he left.

That if I slept in it, I would smell like him after he left.

“Your feelings for me?” he asked, feigning casualness, though I could read the intensity in his eyes even from where I sat at the table.

“I never lied about that.” I looked back at my food as my stomach growled, then grabbed another one of the ripe olonberries and took a hearty bite out of the fist-sized fruit.

“You’re still not taking care of yourself,” he growled.

“I’m not really allowed in the kitchens. Usually, I have to wait for them to bring me food. No one did today.”

Fury blazed through his eyes. “By whose orders?”

“Cina’s. She liked to be in control. It really bugged her that the one thing she never could control was me.” I shrugged. “She’s not the only one who wants to do that though, is she?”

The accusation in my tone was light, but I knew he would catch it.

“I’ve never tried to control you, Little Leviathan.”

The nickname made my chest burn.

“I’m not a shifter.”

“I know.”

There was a beat of silence, and I finished the fruit in my hand before speaking my mind.

“I won’t go back to your land to be thrown in your pretty little tower. I’m not going to sit on my ass and bless babies and pretend my power doesn’t exist. You may find it ridiculous, but I have helped people with the magic I’ve been given—and I will continue to help them, even if it means fighting you and your lead wolves at every turn.”

My fingers formed a fist on my thigh. “I won’t be an object you control, or a jewel on the Blood Pack’s neck, or a belonging of the Blood Alpha. I am the Shifter Queen; I will control a pack through my mate, and a kingdom through my magic. I’ve spent most of my life without the freedom to do as I wish, and I refuse to go back to living that way. You can respect that, or you can get out of my room, out of my desedra, and out of my life.”

I put another piece of cheese in my mouth, just to give myself something to do.

“I’ll take that under advisement,” Tuslan remarked, standing and striding toward me. “Get that pretty little ass out of that chair. You’ve got a meeting to attend.”

I stood—but not because I was going to his damned meeting. “Did you listen to a single word I said?” I glared at him as he stopped beside me.

“I heard every single word you said. And like it or not, you’re part of the Blood Pack now, Leviathan. Crown and all.” His fingers reached for my crown, and I blocked him with a barrier. 

His fingers landed on the barrier, slowly trailing over the magical wall. I couldn’t feel him touching it—it didn’t have senses, or anything, but something about the motion was sort of intimate.

“At least now I know why you didn’t want me to bite you,” he said, his voice low and silky.

Every part of me clenched.

“It would hurt.” I stepped back, sitting down at my table and grabbing a chunk of meat as my stomach growled again.

“You’ll be open to it after we’ve mated, though.” He sat in the seat across from mine, and though he said it like a statement, I knew his words were a question.

“You winning the desedra isn’t guaranteed. And I don’t see a lalidro on your abdomen anymore, so us mating isn’t seeming likely at this point.” I grabbed another piece of fruit. “Plus, ultimately, there are many other men who want me now that they’ve seen my power. Why should I settle for a moody dragon who wants to throw me in a tower?”

“You’re hurt.” He studied me as I ate. “You think my feelings for you have changed.”

“The person you thought I was has changed,” I pointed out.

“Your title and power, yes, but not your personality. Or your heart. Which I’m quite certain still beats for me, despite the foul scent of another male on the jewelry I’ve given you.”

He was still bitter about that.

“Your lalidro’s still gone.” I gestured to his gorgeous, chiseled abdomen.

Beasts, I wanted to lick it.

Was that weird?

It was probably weird.

“It vanished when I put my hand on your wall. Tomo’s did as well; a fact that has him nearly out of his mind.”

I frowned, but knowing that did make me feel irrationally better. I hadn’t noticed Tomo’s lack of lalidro, though my mind had been otherwise occupied. I could clearly remember seeing Keena’s in its usual place.

“Hers didn’t go anywhere though.”

“I know.” Tuslan’s lips curved up in a half-smirk. “They’ll get together eventually.”

“He doesn’t respect her,” I argued.

“She says that, but it’s not true. If she really believed it, her abdomen would be bare.”

That was a good point.

My stomach growled again.

“Beasts, Leviathan.” He grabbed a piece of bread, then layered chunks of cheese and meat onto it before slapping another piece of bread on top and shoving it at me. “Eat before your body disintegrates.”

“You know how to make a sandwich?” I lifted my eyebrows, taking it from him. “You didn’t even know how to reheat food.”

“I’ve recently had a reason to learn.” His leg brushed mine, and my body clenched again.

I wasn’t supposed to be attracted to him; I wasn’t supposed to like him.

I took a bite of the sandwich just to avoid responding to his comment.

“What did the male tell you about the necklace?” Tuslan asked, leaving his leg pressed against mine.

“He said the gem is called diamonte. That it’s rare,” I said, covering my mouth with my hand as I chewed the sandwich.

“Black diamonte,” he nodded. “Unlike most jewels, it has a soul.”

I lifted an eyebrow. “A soul?”

“Yes. It slowly changes shape over time, depending on whose presence it’s in.” He slipped the ring off his finger, setting it down on the table beside my plate. “When it’s happy, the lines on it smooth out. It never smoothed for me, but it did for you. It’s yours.”

“I can’t wear that, Red. A man from Sand already called me out for wearing Blood’s color, and I told you, I can’t choose who I mate with.”

“I’m going to win the desedra, even if I have to kill every other competitor to do it.” His eyes burned into me.

“Is that supposed to sound romantic?”

“No. It’s supposed to sound like the truth.”

I took another bite of my sandwich.

“I want you in the pack meeting, Blue. I want you with us. Whether or not you believe that I’ll do whatever it takes to win, I want you there with me. Where you belong.”

I set my sandwich down. “Just because you want me to belong somewhere, doesn’t mean I actually belong there. I’m a human, remember?”

“And I’m a leviathan. And a phoenix, and a dragon, and a wolf. What does it matter? Keena’s a peryton, Alyx is a basilisk, Tomo’s a smilodon, Paik’s a manticore—none of us have even got a form in common, other than wolf and human.”

“I can’t.” I said, picking the sandwich back up.

Tuslan’s forehead wrinkled as he frowned. He wasn’t used to being told no.

Standing, he slipped out of his chair and then walked out of my room.

I stared after him, at a bit of a loss. I hadn’t expected him to leave so easily.

And… I wished he hadn’t.

Even if I wasn’t supposed to wish that.

“At least I have you,” I told my sandwich, mourning the loss of Tuslan’s company far more than I should’ve.

With a sigh, I took another bite of my sandwich.

I heard commotion in the hall—arguing.

Dropping my sandwich again, I readied myself for a fight and pulled open my door.

When I saw Tuslan, flanked by all of his lead wolves, my lips parted. “What are you doing?”

“If you don’t show up to our meetings, we bring our meetings to you, Mesa.” Keena grunted, pushing past me. “But that’s a bitch move, so we don’t bring candy.”

She wasn’t her usual grinning self, and I suspected it had to do with her Tomo problem.

Striding over to one of the simple gold-colored couches across the room from my table, she dropped onto the cushion.

Tomo’s eyes trailed the room. They looked… beastly.

He really was a wreck.

“You don’t have to fight,” I told him. “I know you’re going to forfeit before the end—you can just drop out during the next round of the competition.”

He glared at me. “We don’t leave people behind, Mesa. Not even lying bitches who—”

Tuslan shoved him toward the couches. “Sit down, asshole.” The words came out in a snarl.

Tomo prowled over to it, looking far more like a beast than a man.

I sat back down at my table, and Paik sat in the chair across from mine, grabbing my partially-eaten sandwich and taking a bite.

“I’m going to kill you,” I growled at him, grabbing a chunk of cheese off the plate and throwing it at his face. It bounced off his cheek, and then hit the floor.

“That’s going to be difficult when you’re mated to me, emotionally-fragile human,” Paik taunted, taking another bite of the sandwich.

It was supposed to be a joke, but it hurt.

Badly.

Tuslan grabbed the sandwich out of Paik’s hand then ripped the guy out of the chair, shoving him into the wall behind the table.

His back slammed hard enough that it even sounded painful.

“Insult her again and you’re the one who’s going to be weeping in a fucking tower, Paiker.”

Paik laughed.

Just…laughed.

“Did we ever tell you how much more fun you’ve made him, Leviathan?” he asked me.

The question definitely came as a surprise.

“No.”

“He used to be so boring. Spent most of his time in one of his beast forms, growling at people and running off steam. Now he’s more tense than before, but all that tension’s geared toward you. Makes him fun to be around. Keeps shit lively.”

“Go sit on the damned couch.” Tuslan’s voice was a bit rough, and I loved the growl to it.

Beasts, I missed being in his lair with him. Everything had been so simple, then.

“Alright, Blood meeting officially convened. What the hell are we going to do about this pain-in-the-ass Shifter Queen who’s captured the heart of our Alpha?” Keena said.

4

My eyes widened.

She said it so… casually.

Captured the heart of our Alpha.

As if what we had, what he felt, was so simple.

“The plan doesn’t really need to change much,” Tuslan said, biting into the sandwich in the same place Paik had before placing it in my hands again.

I stared at him a bit; I’d never seen him eat human food before.

But there he went, just chewed and swallowed like a champ.

Why did he bother, though?

“Win the desedra. Mate with the Queen. Merge the packs.” Tuslan ticked them off on his fingers. “Though now I’ll be doing the winning and the mating, rather than Paik.”

My anger rose. “You really didn’t listen to anything I said.”

“I told you, I heard every word, and I’ll give you everything. You want to run a pack through your mate; mine’s yours. You want to use your power for good; my pack’s the place people go when they’re hurting and don’t have another choice, so we’ve got plenty of people who need help. You want freedom; whether you can admit it or not, I’ve never once tried to take that away from you.”

“You kept cramming presents in my house when I told you not to,” I argued, pointedly avoiding the topic of all the glorious books he’d filled the place with.

“I let you throw them out the window, didn’t I?” he stared back at me, challenge in his eyes.

“You dragged me off to your tower,” I added, fighting hard to retain my anger.

“You could’ve jumped off my back at any time, and I would’ve politely lowered you down to the ground.”

“Dammit, Tuslan. I’m trying to hate you,” I groaned.

He smirked. The wicked, gorgeous smirk I always found so damned irresistible. “I’m too good to you, Leviathan. You’ll never be able to hate me.”

I threw another chunk of food at him, and he caught it in his fingers, studying it. “This doesn’t taste as bad as I expected, you know.”

“I think they forgot we’re here,” Alyx whispered from the couch.

“Shut up. This is the best entertainment we’ve had in years,” Keena whispered back.

I heard crinkling and glanced over to see both women unwrapping Rounds and popping them in their mouths.

“Hey,” I protested.

Keena threw one across the room, apparently having changed her mind about not sharing her candy because of my bitchiness. I caught it with my barrier, ignoring Tuslan’s over-attentive way of watching how I used my magic.

“So, can we safely assume that Mesa’s pretty little tower is Tuslan’s lair?” Paik checked.

Tuslan said, “Yes,” at the same time I shouted, “THERE WILL BE NO PRETTY LITTLE TOWER.”

And everyone grinned, of course, except Tomo because he was kind of a wreck.

“In the meantime, we focus on the desedra,” Tuslan said. “We’ll try bribing a few of the packs with alliances and such, and then we’ll resort to threatening, and then killing. When everyone finally realizes they don’t have a choice in the matter, I’ll get to keep my Leviathan, and the world will be a better place on top of that.”

I stared at him, wordlessly shaking my head. “Sometimes, I think you’re terrible people.”

Paik barked a laugh. “You’re just realizing that?”

Tuslan grinned broadly. “She’s innocent like a peryton too, it looks like.”

“Hey, we are not innocent,” Keena argued, leaning forward on the couch.

“You were too innocent to realize that Tomo wanted more than just to ease your heat, and too innocent to realize that you had feelings for him,” Paik pointed out.

Rage crossed Keena’s face, and then she was lunging for his throat.

A snarl tore through Tomo as he dove between her and Paik, catching Keena around the waist mid-air. They rolled a few times as she kicked and fought and cursed at him, though he didn’t seem to be fighting back.

“You’re mine to touch,” He snarled down at her, pinning her to the ground.

“I’m my own,” she snarled back, rolling them so she was on top of him.

His hands cupped her face, and then their lips collided. They rolled as their mouths and hands warred, and my lips slowly parted at the intensity between them.

“Should we separate them?” Paik muttered.

“We should get them a damned room,” Tuslan said.

Keena suddenly ripped herself away from Tomo, moving rapidly until her back hit a wall, her chest heaving as she breathed quickly.

“You are the fucking bane of my existence,” she said, her eyes churning wildly and her voice trembling the tiniest bit.

My eyes grew wider when I watched the inky marks on her lalidro spreading. Growing.

“As you are mine, Axe.” His chest rose and fell just as rapidly as hers.

Her expression grew furious again.

“I think it’s time to end this meeting,” Alyx said, standing and putting herself between Keena and Tomo.

“Probably a good call,” Paik agreed, standing too. “Who’s guarding our Queen’s tower tonight?”

He and Alyx looked at Tuslan, though Keena and Tomo were still staring—or glaring—at each other.

“I’ll take nights. The women can take mornings and the men afternoons, if I’m not with her,” he said.

“I don’t need a guard,” I protested.

“You’ve got multiple packs trying to kill you, Mesa,” Keena snarled at me as she walked past, stalking out of my room like the beasts below were on her heels. “Accept the damn help.”

Her words shut me up.

Alyx gave me a quick smile, disappearing out the door after Keena.

Tuslan left me at the table for a moment, grabbing Tomo by the shoulder as the struggling man reached the doorway.

I’d never really seen them interact, so I watched with interest.

“You’re going to lose your chance if you can’t control your urges,” Tuslan growled at the man.

“She needs to be pushed,” Tomo snapped back.

“Push too hard, and the band between you snaps.” Tuslan let go of the other man. “Give her space. Let her come to you.”

“It’s been nearly a century and she still hasn’t come back,” he growled at Tuslan.

“No, but she’s learned that you’re there. And eventually, that’s going to be enough.”

Tomo shoved through the doors, and Paik followed him out.

I caught a glimpse of Ellery standing outside, and saw a look in her eyes. One I’d never seen before.

Envy.

What did she envy?

Tuslan sat back down in his seat across from mine.

“You’re not sleeping in my bed,” I warned him. “I told you, we’re not together.”

“When have I ever pushed you to let me in bed with you, Phoenix?” he asked me, grabbing a piece of cheese and popping it in his mouth. He chewed tentatively, uncertain about the food.

I wanted to say ‘in your lair’, but that was a lie. I’d practically dragged him into the bed with me.

And in the forest, we hadn’t talked about it. We’d just snuggled.

And the snuggling was so good.

But there could be no more snuggling unless Tuslan won the desedra, as he claimed he would. I had to be strong.

“Where will you sleep then?” I countered.

“Beside your bed in my wolf form, probably. Against the door, if you don’t trust me that close to you.”

“It’s not a matter of not trusting,” I said. “It’s just that I don’t want to have my heart shattered if someone else wins.”

“I’ll try not to be offended at how little faith you have in me,” he said, picking up a piece of meat and trying that next.

“Why did you bite my sandwich?” I asked him, changing the subject since I didn’t want to talk about my so-called lack of faith in him or his insistence that he’d win.

“You would’ve eaten the part that Paik’s mouth touched.” Tuslan’s eyes grew dark, his silky voice going rough. “His saliva would be inside you. That’s unacceptable.”

I nearly choked on the food in my mouth.

“That’s insanely possessive,” I said, looking around for a glass of water.

Dammit, I’d forgotten to grab one.

“Like, next-level possessive, Tuslan. It’s a damn sandwich.”

“You asked; I answered.” He picked up another piece of food. “I control my protective tendencies. The possessive ones are another beast; one I don’t feel the need to corral.”

“How can you possibly be controlling your protective tendencies?”

“My conscience pushes me to make sure you’re surrounded at all times by six to eight of my most trusted warriors. I feel like I’m putting you at great risk by watching you walk around barely-protected. The dragon in me feels the urge to fly you back to my lair and lock you up until the world is safer for you.”

He continued, “Yet I know your freedom matters more than my urges, and that the world won’t grow safer for you unless we’re both here to make it that way. So, I ignore the tendencies.” He lifted his shoulders. “Should you be injured again, it’ll likely take me a day or two to regain control, as it did last time. I’ll apologize for that in advance, as it’s not something I can prevent.”

“That sounds… hard.” I finally said.

“That’s not the hardest part of this, but yes.” He gestured between us.

It took a second, but my eyes grew when I realized that he’d made a joke.

His wicked grin slowly replaced his neutral expression, and I couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re terrible.”

“Oh, I know.” He grabbed another chunk of meat, popping it in his mouth. “Human food isn’t as bad as I expected.”

“It’s delicious, actually. I don’t know why you’d ever want to eat raw, bloody meat when you could have this.” I gestured toward the sandwich he’d made me. “Try it again. You’ll see.”

I handed it over, and he accepted it. Lifting it to his mouth, he bit into the sandwich, and then handed it back while he chewed.

He slowly nodded. “That’s good,” he admitted.

“Just wait until tomorrow. I’ll show you the most delicious things on the damned planet.”

His lips curved upward. “More delicious than you?”

I rolled my eyes. “Always so charming.”

“Well I have to win over the Shifter Queen somehow.” He picked at my plate while I worked on the sandwich. There was too much food for me to eat anyway, so I had no problem sharing.

When I was done, a yawn stretched my cheeks. “I’m going to sleep.”

He nodded, his eyes tracking me as I crossed to my closet, grabbing a comfortable bandeau and a pair of the soft silk shorts I preferred to sleep in. I’d missed my clothes. Setting the crown on its place in the closet, I left it where it would stay until I felt like wearing the heavy, beautiful thing again or needed to put on a show.

I carried the clothes to the bathroom, then used the facilities and changed before I padded back out to the bedroom. Tuslan’s eyes were on me once more when I exited, but this time, his gaze felt different.

Hotter.

“If that’s your attempt at persuading me to stay out of your bed, it’s failing,” he remarked.

I rolled my eyes. “This is my attempt at sleeping comfortably. Good night.”

I settled into bed, flipping the switch beside my mattress that would turn out the lights.

Tuslan would probably still see just fine with them off, but I couldn’t see a thing.

5

I closed my eyes, but his words ran around my mind.

Mainly, his description of the urges pressing into him, pushing him to protect me.

“Is there anything I can do to make it easier?” I asked him softly. “The protective thing?”

There was a long pause. “If you have a nightmare, I’d like to comfort you. The most difficult thing about sleeping outside your door was not being able to hold you when they hit.”

My throat swelled. “That’s fine.”

There was another long, drawn-out pause. “You could wear the jewelry, too.”

Worry curled in my abdomen. “I don’t know if I can do that.”

“Just consider it.”

“Why would it help you?”

“When others see it, they know you’re spoken for—or at least, they wonder if you’re spoken for. That alone protects you. Many male shifters wouldn’t dare mess with a female who’s spoken for.”

I didn’t think it would work like that exactly, for me.

And I realized I hadn’t looked to see if he was still wearing the rings I’d put on his fingers; I didn’t know if he still wanted to be marked as mine in that way. I’d understand if he didn’t. I had lied, and things had changed.

“What about the female shifters? Do they mess with males wearing rings?” I asked, dancing around what I really wanted to say.

“It takes more than metal and jewels to dissuade a determined female.”

My heart pounded painfully.

“You’re distressed,” he said, the chair creaking as he changed positions. “What is it?”

“It’s nothing. I just…” I trailed off, squeezing my eyes shut.

Dammit, I was going to have to say it.

“Have women been propositioning you?”

There was a beat of silence, and the chair creaked again as he moved once more. Settling back into the position he’d been in, I imagined.

“Would you prefer the full truth, or the watered-down version?”

I squeezed my eyes shut. “I’m not sure.”

“I’ll tell you as much or little as you’d like to know, but I’d prefer to have this conversation in a position where you can see my eyes, at least.” His voice was still silky, which told me he wasn’t worried or anything. Which was good; that was good, right?

“Come over here, then.”

The chair creaked again. I heard his footsteps, which I knew meant he wanted me to hear them.

I saw movement, but I couldn’t make out his face until he was easing himself onto my bed. He didn’t tuck his feet under the blankets, instead rolling to his side while I rolled to mine so our eyes could meet.

Beasts, his eyes were beautiful.

“Many women make their interest in me known every time I come to an event like this,” he murmured. “They’re interested in my power, my pack, and my influence. Not to mention my body—I’m quite the specimen.”

I scoffed, and watched his eyes grow playful when I did.

His hand found the curve of my hip, over the blanket, and rested there.

“You’re well aware of my lack of interest in them,” he continued. “As are they. And the rest of Tendira, I imagine, since people love to talk about me so much. There hasn’t been time for any of the females to proposition me since today began, but there will be. And I will respond to them the same way I always do.”

“How is that?”

His lips curved further. “That I’d sooner throw myself in a volcano than weaken myself with a lesser female.”

My lips parted. “You did not.”

“Oh, I have. Many, many times. I didn’t think I’d ever find a female to match me, but here you are.” His hand tightened on my hip, just slightly, and his voice grew softer and silkier. “The Human Queen.”

I rolled away from him. His hand moved with me, not budging as his arm draped over my abdomen. “Shifter Queen, actually.”

“You should have trusted me, Mesa.”

I always knew he was serious when he used my actual name. “I couldn’t trust anyone. I still probably shouldn’t, but… I’m tired.”

It was the truth. More truth than I’d shared with anyone, in a long time.

Words spilled from me, with that acknowledgement. “The Shifter Queen died, and I ran, and then I nearly starved to death on the beach. And then Jaspe about killed me and I didn’t have any magic to protect myself, and then you decided you wanted me… everything happened so fast. And I’m just really tired.”

“Lennox was the male who taught you to swim,” he said softly.

“Yes.” I found myself blinking back tears.

“Did you ever have a moment to grieve his loss?”

My throat swelled. “I haven’t had a moment to do anything but try to survive for months.”

His fingers tightened on my hip. “I’ll make sure you survive.”

“It’s easy for you to say that, but there are thousands of Tidals who want me dead, and possibly many others, too. And this damned contest determines which asshole gets a power boost because of me. After it ends, there’s a good chance I’ll spend much of my energy for the rest of my life just trying to protect myself from whoever wins. And when he learns how to tap into my magic, I’ll have to figure out a way to physically fight him, too.”

“I’m not going to take your lack of faith personally.” He slid closer, so his chest was all but plastered to my side.

I closed my eyes. “It’s not personal. My guards… they were right about the other Queens. I thought I had a few more years before I needed to worry about it, but I don’t. If you do win, that would probably be best, but at this point I really can’t trust you, either. Everyone has ulterior motives, and I’ve been lying to you for months.”

“If I had been in your shoes, I would’ve done the same thing you did. You kept yourself alive even without being able to identify the enemy, Blue. You should be proud of yourself for that.”

“I notice you avoiding the thing about trust,” I whispered.

“There’s no reason for me to dwell on it. You’ve been through a lot in a short amount of time, and trust comes slowly. Eventually, your doubts about my intentions will fade.”

“I’m not completely oblivious, Tuslan. You only wanted me because you thought I was powerful; if you really do still want me, it’s for the same reason.”

“That’s insulting to both of us.” He rolled over the top of me, his body pressing into mine in the most delicious ways as he stared down into my eyes. “The first time I wanted you, you smelled of the ocean and something so incredibly female that I could barely think straight. I couldn’t sense your power at all. You could’ve been pure human and entirely powerless, and I’d still have wanted you.”

The words made my body flush. “Is that so?”

“Indeed. I stayed in the ocean for hours in my leviathan form after Keena brought you to the capitol. I was trying to figure out what about your scent made me feel so… alive.”

“Liar,” I whispered.

“Your refusal to trust would hurt a lesser male,” Tuslan’s lips curved as his eyes darkened, and thrill warmed me further. “It only makes me more determined to prove you wrong.”

He pressed into me further, and I inhaled sharply at the feel of his desire against my core.

His lips brushed mine as he murmured, “The second time I wanted you, you’d nearly gotten yourself killed by jumping into another male’s bed. The change in your eyes was minimal at best, so logic told me that you should’ve been afraid of him. Instead, you shouted at him.”

“He was an ass,” I complained. “I couldn’t see a damned thing.”

“Well, you are human.” His lips curved further. “Even before you left that night, I found myself wishing it had been my bed you stumbled your way into instead of his. I imagined how differently things may have gone if I were the one awoken by the soft curves of your body under the blankets with me.” He lowered himself further, our half-clothed bodies practically melding with the contact, and my legs wrapped themselves around his waist.

I couldn’t have stopped them if I wanted to.

My breathing was a bit fast as I stared into those dark eyes, at that sexy smirk of his.

“I forced myself to run the city’s perimeter time and time again, after that. Keeping my interest quiet. I knew it wouldn’t be safe for you if I was interested in you—particularly because of your lack of power. I’d never considered weakening myself for a woman before, but something told me that sacrificing strength, or even one of my forms, to make a woman like you stronger would feel like a privilege.”

My breath caught. “You didn’t think I was powerful, and you were still interested in me?”

“Your eyes barely changed,” he pointed out. “It was the logical conclusion. Of course, you know now that I didn’t actually act on those feelings until you were lying on my couch, bleeding out. I waited for you to heal, but you didn’t. I wondered, then, if some magic had blocked you from your true power. And I healed you, of course, because I couldn’t let a beautiful, strong, innocent woman die.”

“And then I told you about the barrier on my magic,” I murmured.

“It seemed like an honest answer even though I was sure you were lying about why the barrier was there,” he agreed. “I didn’t see another reason for your eyes not to change. I underestimated barrier magic…and the Shifter Queen, I suppose, since Cina had me fully convinced of her weakness. It had never occurred to me that she could conceal her power until you suggested it. Was that true?”

I swallowed roughly. Our eyes were still locked, our bodies still pressed together. I could feel every throb of his longing for me, and he could probably feel the wetness of mine for him, too.

But the more details I shared about my magic, the more equipped he would be to take me down if he wanted to.

Only… I didn’t think he wanted to.

Tuslan had never needed to use his body to get what he wanted; he still didn’t need to. The way he was holding me, pressing into me… I was pretty sure it was because he wanted to be there.

So I answered.

“Yes. Changing the feel of our power is relatively simple; it only requires altering the barrier magic over our skin, and in the air. When I was trying to intimidate the crowd earlier, I did some variation of that.”

I saw the approval in his eyes as he purred, “Do it for me.”

“Can you feel the power on my skin right now?” I asked.

“Yes. It’s like electricity, running straight through my veins.” He slowly ground his hips into mine. “It’s deliciously seductive.”

My face heated even as my body throbbed. “I’m not doing that on purpose.”

“I didn’t think you were. I assumed it was your magic, portraying your emotions.”

I reddened further, because he was right.

“Stop moving then, so I can focus,” I whispered.

“You’ve made many barriers without focusing today.”

“Not while you were pressed against me like this.”

His rumbly chuckle made me bite my lip further. “Glad to know I’m a distraction.” His lips brushed mine before he took a little more of his weight, lifting himself off me.

I focused on the magic rolling over my skin. I relaxed it and shrunk it down, slowing its movement. It only took a breath to do so, but if Tuslan could really feel my magic, he would definitely feel the difference.

“Barely a whisper,” he said, shock evident in his tone as he lifted a finger to my cheek, tracing it over my skin. “That is incredibly impressive.”

I maintained the speed of it, keeping it calm as his hands explored my face and arms.

“And you could do this indefinitely?” he asked.

“Not indefinitely, but it doesn’t take a lot of effort.” I lifted my shoulders.

“Cina’s magic didn’t feel like this, though. Even now, yours is denser. I can tell you must have to pack it down to hold it this way.”

I nodded. “Cina wasn’t as powerful as I am.” It felt awkward to admit it. “She never considered most of the things we can do with our magic until I started doing them. I was teaching her to make a bouncing barrier the day she… you know.” I bit my lip. “I’ve always been kind of curious. I like to experiment, explore. Figure things out.”

“That much, I already knew. You explored my lair when you were supposed to be sleeping—and touched my jewels.” The back of his fingers trailed over my lips.

“You make that sound so dirty,” I teased, biting down on his fingers playfully.

“Do you want it to be dirty?” His finger swept slowly between my teeth, dipping into the hollow of my cheek before moving to the other side.

“I’m not allowed to want that.” I lifted my hand to his wrist, dragging his finger out of my mouth. “Win the desedra, and we’ll talk.”

“We’ll do far more than talk after I’ve won my connection to you.” His eyes were intense, and my face warmed. “Now, I want to feel your power at its strongest.”

“Are you sure? It could hurt.”

His eyes flashed wickedly. “I welcome the pain.”

“Weirdo.” I tilted my head back, staring at the darkness that hid the ceiling from me as I pushed at my magic. It began to speed up, to spread out, and I pushed it harder. Faster. 

Tuslan’s breathing picked up, and I looked at him, worried. “Are you okay?”

“More,” he growled at me.

Oh.

I pushed it harder, faster, thrill racing through me as I realized what I could make him feel, just with my power. He groaned. “Fuck, Leviathan. I could get off on the feel of your magic alone.”

I bit my lip to fight back a grin, pushing a burst of power at his erection.

A shudder ripped through him, his hands fisting in the pillow on either side of my head.

Slowing the power back down before things got out of hand, I bit down harder on my lip.

“Quite the tease, aren’t you?” he growled into my throat, nipping at my skin.

“Win the desedra, and I’ll give you more.”

“If I needed any more motivation, that would be plenty.” His voice was still low and growly.

I couldn’t hide my grin anymore, and he caught my lips with his just for the tiniest moment.

“So damned beautiful.” He rested his forehead against mine, and both our eyes closed. “I know you don’t believe me, but I’m going to win your competition. That’s a promise, Blue, and I don’t promise lightly. Now, it’s time to get the rest that this soft, beautiful human body of yours needs. I’ll be right beside your bed if you require me.”

His lips met mine again quickly before he rolled off of me in one smooth motion. His body shimmered, and his monstrous white wolf form folded into the position he had always maintained when sleeping on my porch in his pack’s territory.

It took me a few minutes to even my breathing out, but when I had, I closed my eyes and sleep took me.

No nightmares assaulted me, a fact I attributed to the guardian wolf sleeping only a foot away.

6

Tuslan remained in his wolf form while I leafed through my closet the next morning, looking for an outfit that sparkled enough to make me look queenly. Cina had always made sure nothing I wore could match her clothing. She didn’t want me to outshine her, since I was a mere human while she was an immortal.

Reaching the end of my closet, I was forced to admit that my most striking golden outfit was the one Reta made for me before I left the Blood Pack.

I couldn’t wear that again, though—and I couldn’t show up underdressed either, since I’d only just announced myself as a powerful Queen. I had to look the part.

My only option, though, was to raid Cina’s closet. My guards all wore the Royal Pack’s gold, but none of them owned anything more expensive than I did—and none of them were anywhere near as short as me. Cina had been only an inch or two taller than me, and slightly less… plush.

It would be a tight fit to get my breasts and ass into her clothing, but I’d have to manage until I could get some of my own made.

It was a bit irreverent to steal from the dead, but she was the only reason I didn’t have anything fitting my status, so I didn’t feel as horrible about the idea as I probably should’ve.

I headed for the door, still wearing my comfortable sleep clothing.

Tuslan shifted to his human form and slipped between me and the door.

“You’re forgetting something, Phoenix.”

I looked around the room. “What am I missing?”

“Clothing.” His voice had a bit of a growl to it, his fingers lifting to the admittedly-low-cut hem over my breasts. The top barely covered my nipples.

I batted his hand away. “I’m just walking down the hall. No one should be in this wing of the castle, anyway.”

He reached around me, and came up with handfuls of my ass—bare ass.

Okay, so the shorts were on the revealing side too.

I swatted his hands away again. “Don’t make me use my barriers on you,” I warned, stepping away from him. “I’ll walk around my own damn castle however I want.”

My hand wrapped around the doorknob, and a fierce growl escaped him.

I paused.

“Cover your legs, female.” The words came out of his lips barely human. “They’re mine to see, and touch, and taste. Mine alone.”

I turned to face him, my hand lifting to my hip. “I thought I was very clear, Tuslan. I’m empathetic to your struggle, but I do not belong to you. Even if we become mates, I still won’t belong to you. If you’re having a hard time with something, you can ask me politely, to consider doing something else, and I’ll consider your feelings on the matter. But you don’t get to tell me to change, and you don’t decide what I can and can’t do. Would you like to try this again?” I gestured between us.

Tuslan took a ragged breath in, running a hand over his face. His eyes were wild, and I noticed my ring was still stuck halfway up his pinky.

“I’m sorry, Blue. I’m struggling to accept that you’re not my mated female. Knowing that other men may look at you and feel as much desire as I do makes me… murderous, for lack of a better term.”

“Jealous. The word is jealous,” I corrected him.

His eyes narrowed at me. “I don’t envy them. I want to rip their eyes out of their heads and then slowly remove their fingers and teeth, followed by ripping their spines through their throats.”

“Murderous it is, then.” I folded my arms.

His gaze dipped to my chest and remained there for a moment before meeting mine again. “Would you please consider wearing pants and a bra, or putting a visible barrier over yourself? I’m likely to lose control of my murderousness if someone else sees you in this sexy lounge clothing, and I’d prefer to keep my wits about me.”

“I don’t think murderousness is a word, but because you asked nicely…” I heaved a sigh, making my barrier opaque with the blink of an eye. I wasn’t new at covering my body.

Tuslan’s eyes grew a bit wide. “Your power continues to surprise me.”

“Well, I am a leviathan,” I winked, grabbing the doorknob and slipping out the door.

I found Ellery waiting where she’d been the night before, leaned up against the wall.

“Someone should’ve traded you,” I told her, stopping in the hallway.

“Sable is the only one I trust completely, and she’s ferreting out our traitor,” Ellery said.

“You don’t need to worry about the Queen’s safety.” Tuslan stepped up beside me. “Two of my lead wolves will be with her at all times that I’m not personally.”

“And why should I trust her with you?” Ellery asked, her eyes narrowed at the man.

“Because she’s mine.” His fingers curled around my hip—or they tried to curl around my hip but met my magic instead.

I saw the displeasure in his eyes and nearly laughed. He was the only reason I’d put the barrier over myself.

“You can swap out with the others,” I told her. “I don’t know who the traitor is, but the worst Tuslan and his pack are going to do is lock me in a tower somewhere no one else can reach me. The traitor-guard won’t get past them to kill me, and the Blood wolves won’t get past the guard to hide me away. Between the two parties, I should be stuck here, breathing.”

Ellery looked at Tuslan, her gaze changing a bit. “That tower’s not a bad idea.”

He smirked. “What did I say, Phoenix?”

“I hate all of you,” I grumbled, slipping between the two of them and striding toward the Queen’s old room. I’d never technically been allowed in there, but I’d snuck in more than my fair share of times. Her “room” was a cluster of five rooms—one of which was a kitchen that I’d never once seen, heard, or smelled her use.

I went right to her closet, ignoring my posse.

“Why are you covering yourself?” Ellery asked.

“I know you heard every word of our argument, so don’t bother,” I told her without glancing over.

“You taught her more about shifter senses while she was in your pack,” Ellery grumbled to Tuslan.

“We thought she was a shifter when she was in our pack. Everything she learned, she figured out on her own,” Tuslan replied as I leafed through the Queen’s closet.

His words made me a bit prouder of myself.

“What are you looking for, Blue?”

“Something that will make me look powerful, sexy, and Queen-like,” I told him.

“High expectations for one outfit,” Ellery remarked.

“Well I’ve got to upstage myself somehow.”

Tuslan strode over to me, and started leafing through the clothing I’d already gone through. “Why are we raiding Cina’s closet for that?”

“Cina made sure I didn’t have anything that would look better than what she wore,” I explained. “So though I like my clothes, they’re not as Queenly as the ones Reta made me.”

“Reta made you that little number from yesterday?” Tuslan asked, sounding annoyed. “She knew your identity?”

“Yup. She had someone get a note to the castle for me, after I learned that the Tidals had cleared out.”

“I’ll kill her,” Tuslan growled.

“No, you won’t. She’s your favorite seamstress, and we both know you owe her a damn lot for all those fancy black clothes you had her make me. Plus, I like her.”

“That’s why she used gold thread in everything,” he muttered, pulling out an outfit. “Here.” He held it up to my figure, eyeing it speculatively. “Queenly, powerful, and slightly sexy. Any sexier, and I’ll have to turn the feast into a massacre. Which I am perfectly fine with, by the way.”

I rolled my eyes at him, taking the outfit.

Now that I was looking at it again… he was right, it was perfect.

“You kill anyone at the feast and I’ll make you sleep by the door.”

He pouted his lip, and I swatted his arm as I strode past him, headed back to my room.

“Why don’t you move in here?” Ellery asked me before we left Cina’s old space. “It has a kitchen, and more rooms.”

I paused and looked around. My throat swelled a bit.

The Queen had never treated me well, but she had still been one of the only steady presences in my life.

And she was still dead.

“I’ll think about it,” I finally said, continuing on my way out.

“So are we going to have a problem at the feast?” I asked him.

“That depends how friendly you are.”

“Tuslan,” I warned.

“Mesa,” he warned back.

I stopped in the hallway, facing him. “I am going to look at other men, and talk to other men. I won’t let anyone touch me, but you can’t flip your lid if someone tries and ends up with a handful of my barrier. If you can’t control yourself, you’re going to have to sit this one out. These feasts are supposed to bring the packs together despite the fighting of the desedra, not push them apart.”

“You said you were going to show me all the best foods,” he remarked.

He didn’t sound angry, or upset, or anything, really. Which I knew meant he was probably hiding his emotions from me.

“I wish I could go and stay with you the whole time, okay? I wish that was my life. But it’s not. I’m going to have to socialize with all of the packs, including the ones you don’t like.”

“My pack is one of them,” he countered. “So we should get you for a portion of the time.”

“You will. But I know you’re going to want more.”

“When it comes to you, I will always want more.” His hand reached up to cup my face, and instead, met my barrier.

My gaze caught on his hand—on the golden, geometric ring he was still wearing.

My ring.

I wrapped my magic around his hand, pushing it up until it met my cheek. He murmured, “I’ll keep my possessiveness in check if you’ll wear the necklace. Not as a sign that you’re mine—as a sign that you support my pack. You have been staying with us since the Queen was killed; people should expect you to have a bias toward us.”

That was actually pretty reasonable.

“The diamonte is worth far more than you’d give just anyone who stayed with your pack,” I said, my last-chance argument.

His lips curved upward. “Only a dragon would know that.”

“And you’re hoping they spread the rumors.”

“Most people saw the lalidro on my abdomen before the desedra began. Many saw us kissing—though I imagine they may not realize you were you. I would like them to know that it was you my magic claimed, even if the necklace is the only proof I have.”

My thoughts went back to our conversation.

To the women that would be hitting on him, trying to convince him to choose them.

Beasts above, I despised the thought.

“Okay. Necklace.” I held my hand out, wiggling my fingers.

He tsked. “Turn around.”

With a heaved sigh, I turned my back to him.

The familiar, lightweight necklace nestled against the base of my throat.

He made slow work of putting it on, securing the clasp, and pulling my hair out from within the chain.

When he was finally done, we headed into my room, where he waited while I changed.

It was even more of a wrestle than I expected to get my boobs into the top, but I managed. It was high-necked, but the fabric was sheer above the opaque sweetheart-neckline, and boy, did I fill that sucker. The fabric clung to my ribcage a few inches below my breasts, leaving a solid six inches between the low-rise waist of the shimmering billowy pants.

I swept on a little makeup, emphasizing my eyes and glossing my lips.

I stepped out when I was done, and Tuslan’s gaze immediately went to my chest. His eyes narrowed.

“You picked it.” I flashed him a smile.

His scowl was immediate. “You shouldn’t look so damned good.”

“I don’t look like most shifters,” I reminded him. “I’m shorter, and—“ I waved my hands out in front of my chest, and then behind my ass. “Squishier.”

“Anyone who doesn’t like that is a fucking moron,” he growled.

“That’s a personal opinion. And you should be thrilled about it; it’s that many less guys checking out my ass.”

We headed out into the hall, needing to stop by the Blood Pack’s assigned portion of the castle so Tuslan could change before the start of the feast.

We’d only made it a few feet when I heard a clang off to my right, and spun.

My eyes collided with those of one of the chefs. She was tall and strong, with long blonde hair and light skin. The clang had been her serving platter hitting the ground.

A whole tray of bacon was sprawled on the floor—which luckily, was clean enough to eat off of.

“Don’t throw that away,” I said quickly. “If you can’t serve it, just stick it in a bag and put it in the Queen’s fridge. I’ll go back for it.”

The chef nodded slowly, staring unabashedly at me and Tuslan.

I tracked her gaze thinking she was shocked by the two of us together. But nope, she was just staring at Tuslan.

I stepped in front of him, even though I really couldn’t hide him very well.

Ellery coughed. She was hiding a laugh, I was sure.

“Come on, Blue.” Tuslan’s fingers found my hip again and he led me down the hallway, ignoring the woman’s attention. “I warned you of my many fans,” he murmured as we went.

Suddenly, I understood why he wanted to mark me with jewelry—and bites, too. The possessiveness pumping through my veins was enough to make my damned mind spin.

7

I waited on the couch in the room Tuslan, Paik, and Tomo were sharing with a few other men while Tuslan changed. The other Blood Pack men stared at me, even with Ellery sitting next to me and Paik guarding me, at Tuslan’s request.

Well, request is a weak word.

Command fits better.

“Ready?” Tuslan asked, taking my hand and tugging me to my feet.

I tried not to check him out. I really did. But… damn.

He’d traded his typical, Tendira-fashion billowy black pants for a pair that fit a bit tighter, tapering at his calves and making him look even more muscular. And he’d shaved some of the stubble from his face, and done something to tame his hair a bit…

Yum.

“Mmhmm.”

He smirked, lacing his fingers through mine as he led me down the hallway. “Nice to know you’ve joined my fan club, Blue.”

“She’s the Alpha of your fan club,” Keena corrected him, as she and Alyx fell into step beside us.

“She’d have to fight Ulah fang-and-claw for that,” Alyx remarked.

I tried not to scowl at the mention of another woman who wanted Tuslan. His smirk—and the other womens’—told me I’d failed.

“You know, if you wear Tuslan’s ring, some of the other men might withdraw from the desedra,” Alyx said casually.

The words surprised me. I hadn’t thought about that—and he hadn’t mentioned it.

“I don’t need anyone to withdraw,” Tuslan said evenly, his gaze remaining on the walls ahead of us.

“No, but it might make Mesa feel better about your chances,” Alyx countered, before looking back at me. “There are a lot of other packs that respect us and want to form alliances with us. If they know that you have feelings for Tuslan, and that he has feelings for you, there’s a good chance they’d withdraw as a sign of respect, because I’m sure they already think he’s going to win.”

My mind went back to the day before. When Carse found out the man who’d given me the ring was Tuslan, he practically ran away from me. His exact words were, “let me know if he changes his mind”.

Maybe she was onto something.

“Which packs would back out?” I asked.

“Sand, Valley, Rain, and Pine, probably. I’m sure there’d be some men from each who want a chance to defeat our Alpha and refuse to drop out, but there is some honor among Alphas,” she said.

“Lava, Fringe, and Tidal are the ones I least want to mate with,” I countered.

“And we’re going to kill all of them,” Tuslan added, his voice tight.

“You’re not on-board with trying to use what we have to cut down the competition without violence?” I asked him, lifting an eyebrow.

“I think it’s unnecessary.”

We were about to turn down the hallway that would lead to the massive dining room, which was undoubtedly already filled with shifters, so I stopped abruptly.

“Give me the ring.” I held my hand out.

He didn’t make a move to do it.

“Tuslan,” I growled.

His dark eyes gleamed. “You wear the ring to mark yourself as mine, Mesa. Not to make the desedra easier for me, and not to scare anyone else off.”

“I know what the ring means, Red. You said it’s mine; give it to me, or I’ll take it back myself.”

He lifted his hand, tugging it off his pinky finger. Taking my hand in his, he slipped it onto my finger.

“If you’re going to wear it, I expect you to declare proudly who gave it to you when someone asks,” he said, his gaze steady.

It wasn’t a warning, but I could see that it was the truth.

And that if I didn’t do as he’d said, it might… hurt him.

“I will.” I spoke the truth too.

Now that I’d realized his feelings for me—and mine for him—could actually help him win the desedra, and faster, I’d be shouting about it from the damned rooftops.

Because even though I still wasn’t entirely confident what my future would hold if I mated with Tuslan, I knew I cared about him a lot.

And that he cared about me a lot too.

“Are we walking in together?” Keena asked Tuslan.

“No. My Phoenix deserves a fiery entrance of her own, particularly in that outfit.” He lifted my fingers to his lips, kissing my knuckles before flipping my hand around and kissing my palm. “Don’t forget, you already smell like me,” he called as he strode down the hall, into the dining room.

“He’s got it so bad,” Keena grinned.

“I have a hard time believing he’s never pursued another woman,” I muttered.

“Tuslan does everything at full-speed and with his whole soul. If there had been another woman before you, he’d be mated to her and still completely obsessed with her,” Alyx murmured back.

“Ready, Phoenix?” Keena checked, still wearing her near-constant grin. She seemed to have recovered from the night before, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to ask about it.

“Ready.” I shot her a grin of my own before striding down the hallway.

This was my castle and my competition—and I needed to make sure everyone in there realized that.

The place was packed full of shifters, but people still turned when we walked in.

Ignoring the stares and people around us, my ladies followed me to the first table. I’d play Queen after I ate.

Or I’d at least pretend to play Queen.

Of course, no one got the memo of my plan to eat first.

“Hello, Queen.” The Fringe Alpha bowed toward me. His mate was off to his side; she was the Human Queen from three generations before me, and had a dead look in her eyes that made my chest ache for her.

“My name’s Mesa.”

I would’ve tried to be nicer if he wasn’t an abusive asshole, but men like him didn’t deserve my kindness.

“I did hear that at your ceremony.” He grinned, straightening to his full height. His eyes caught on my necklace, and his grin faded. “Wearing the Blood Pack’s color?” His gaze flicked to the women behind me—all three of them. “If it isn’t little Akeena.”

“Have a great day, Alpha,” I ended the conversation, stepping past him with my plate of food.

I saw Alyx’s fingers on Keena’s bicep as the women followed me.

“I wish I could kill that bastard without taking out his mate,” Keena muttered while I grabbed a bunch of bacon.

“He doesn’t deserve your thoughts,” Alyx murmured back.

“Getting his mate away from him would be even better revenge than killing him, don’t you think?” I asked Keena, with a sickly-sweet smile.

“Killing him would be better revenge,” she grumbled. “But that would be almost as good.”

“That’s our current focus, right, Ellery?” I asked my guard.

“Your current focus is making sure the Blood Alpha wins the desedra. Getting Seva away from the bastard she calls a mate is my focus,” Ellery said curtly. “After keeping you safe.”

“There’s nothing Paik despises more than a man who hurts women. We’ll get you with him, and he’ll make those men wish they’d never been born,” Keena told Ellery.

Ellery didn’t look sold on the Paik thing, but another male interrupted our plate-filling, ending the conversation.

“Hey, Alyx,” the man spread his arms, flashing the redhead a massive grin that rivaled Kina’s typical expression. He wore the bronze of Rain Pack. “It’s been ages.”

“Wohe,” Alyx grinned back, surging forward and wrapping her arms around the massive man. “It’s been too long.”

“Introduce me to this Queen I’m fighting for,” he said, nudging her with his elbow.

“Wohe, this is Mesa. Mesa, this is my little brother, Wohe.”

I studied the man with new eyes. He was huge—at least as tall as Paik and Tomo, with long, red hair tied up in a bun. Gorgeous; definitely gorgeous.

Not as gorgeous as Tuslan, though.

“I haven’t been little in three hundred years, Al,” he teased her, tickling her side and making her cackle.

I hadn’t seen Alyx light up like that before, and it made me smile.

“So what do you think my odds are at beating your Alpha for her hand?” Wohe asked Alyx, nudging her with his elbow again.

"None. Tuslan’s in love with her, and look at her finger.” Alyx gestured to my hand. I lifted it, wiggling my ring finger with a grin of my own, and feeling multiple sets of eyes on us.

“Damn. Is that a diamonte?” He looked seriously impressed.

“Dragon eyes,” she teased.

“Since I was a kid,” he grinned wickedly. “So you’re in love with him, too?” The question was pointed at me that time.

“I am,” I confirmed, though Tuslan and I had never gone so far as to call it love. What else could it be, though?

“Damn. Can’t say I ever thought I’d see the Blood Alpha in love.”

“Why else would he have put his hand on that damned wall?” Keena countered.

“I thought he was going to kill a few people just shoving his way to the stage,” Alyx agreed.

Really?

I hadn’t seen him pushing through the crowd; I’d been a bit busy.

“You’ve never seen Tuslan in fight mode until you’ve seen him rushing to get to the stage before Mesa started the damn desedra without him in it,” Keena agreed.

“You’re going to ruin my reputation, ladies,” Tuslan’s silky voice behind me gave me the goosebumps.

His arm slid around my waist, his hand finding my hip in that possessive way he always held it.

Like it was his.

Like I was his.

“I saw your lalidro. Who were you connected to?” Wohe asked, his voice curious.

“Me, of course. My energy couldn’t connect to his because of the barrier, but he just couldn’t resist me,” I teased.

Tuslan chuckled.

The number of eyes on us increased by a lot.

As in, pretty much every single person in that massive dining room was staring at us.

You could’ve heard a damned mouse run across the floor.

“Yes, my magic chose Mesa even when I thought she was a shifter. She was quite sneaky, hiding out in my pack without letting us know who she was. I was half-convinced I’d finally met another leviathan.” He tugged me closer, so my side hugged his. “I was planning to keep her even before I knew she was the Soul of Tendira, but now that I know, there’s nothing and no one that will take her from me.”

The words made my smile wider.

Wohe laughed, a bit shocked. “Well, damn. I wish I’d known that before entering the desedra.”

“You can withdraw easily,” Keena told him. “Just stick your hand on the wall and tell it you’re out.”

I was glad she said it so I didn’t have to.

“You’re with the Queen?” another voice said, behind us. This one was high-pitched, and female.

I glanced over my shoulder, and saw a woman I didn’t recognize. She was medium-height, with tan skin and dark hair, and wore Fringe’s green clothing. My smile grew brittle, and Tuslan dragged me a bit closer as he turned us to face her.

“Hello, Enra,” Tuslan said, with none of his usual charm.

“You said you were never taking a mate.” The woman’s face reddened.

“The Queen changed my mind.” His voice remained cold.

“Blood Alpha,” a chilling voice said to our side.

I was glad for any excuse out of that conversation.

8

My body tensed when I saw a gorgeous, dark-haired, pale woman in Tidal’s blue. Even though I’d never met her in person, the churning in her eyes declared she was a four-form, and I was pretty sure the only four-form in Tidal was their Alpha.

“Loka,” Tuslan drawled. “Have you called off your search parties yet? My leads and I were having such fun hunting them.”

I knew that wasn’t an overstatement; they had been enjoying hunting the Tidals.

And I was right; the Tidal Alpha was a four-form named Loka.

“And now I know why we couldn’t find her,” the Alpha’s voice was as cold as her steel-gray eyes, which changed so fast from light to dark that they nearly gave me whiplash.

“Yes, my female outsmarted you.” Tuslan’s fingers brushed my hip, as if he was trying to comfort me. There was no reason to comfort me, though; she wasn’t the one I’d seen tear the Queen’s head off, even if she was behind it.

“It seems we all underestimated our Queens, didn’t we?” she mused. “Though Cina died easily enough.”

Sharp anger pierced me.

I stepped toward the woman, using my barrier to shove her backward. She stumbled, glancing around in surprise.

“You’re lucky I haven’t ended your life as brutally as you took hers,” I glared at the woman, striding toward her.

“If only you’d died with her like you were supposed to, imagine what better a state Tendira might be in,” the woman taunted.

Beasts, did she really believe they would be better-off without their humanity? If anything at all would even happen when I died, I doubted it would be anything good.

What utter bullshit.

A few gasps went up in the crowd. I heard movement—my guards and Tuslan, probably. But I put a barrier between them and me, because this was my fight. Not theirs.

They had protected me unknowingly, but I was the Queen—and Loka’s pack was after me.

“Would you prefer I remove your humanity?” I asked her, lifting my voice so everyone could hear the question. “Would that make your pack and Tendira better for you?”

“One person’s humanity means nothing. The continent must be free of its anchor,” the woman snarled, crouching low like a beast as she prowled toward me. “The Pillar of the Wolves must fall. And with her, our fragility.”

“If you wish to experience Tendira without a conscience, I’m happy to give you the chance.”

Crossing the distance between us, I wrapped myself in a thick barrier that would slow her movements before grabbing her face in both my hands, glaring into her eyes.

Reaching my magic inside her consciousness, I found the place her forms existed—all four warring, without a shred of the peace that should’ve existed. Knowing what I was doing now, I stripped my magic from her mind in one simple motion.

She shifted immediately as I released her from my barrier and stepped back, wrapping the shield around myself.

Loka, now a rust-colored wolf, howled up at the ceiling.

More gasps and murmurs went through the crowd, along with one angry snarl that I recognized.

My eyes jerked toward Tuslan’s, and I saw the look in his dark gaze—fear.

Was he afraid of me?

I released the barrier over my guards. Most of them didn’t notice, but he somehow must’ve felt the change in my power. Surging forward, he shifted to his own wolf form and snapped at Loka.

She lunged for his throat.

I caught her in a barrier, holding her in place even as Tuslan’s teeth tore through her neck.

The smell of blood was strong and metallic, and I had to fight not to look away from the gruesome death. Though I managed to keep my eyes on the pair of wolves, my stomach rolled with nausea. 

It was a good thing I hadn’t eaten yet.

Tuslan shifted back to his human form, going up in flames as he burned blood off his skin. Stepping up to me, his hands caught my face as he scanned me for injuries. His voice was low and silky and deadly as he said, “Don’t ever consider putting a barrier between me and someone who’s threatening you again.”

Maybe he hadn’t been scared of me, but scared for me.

“I’m fine.” I stepped away from his grip, glaring at the crowd and spreading my arms out at my sides. “Does anyone else want to give up their humanity? I’m happy to reclaim my magic from anyone who would rather be savage right now.”

All I got in response was silence.

“This feast was supposed to bring us together. I’m going to sit and eat; I don’t give a damn what the rest of you do, but if you challenge me, I will kill you,” I told them, throwing my power into the air and pushing it bigger and wider and stronger.

Picking up my plate, I began to load it with food.

Tuslan followed me, making a plate of his own. I let my magic fade as we sat down at a table that Tomo seemed to have cleared for us, and noise slowly resumed until the place was just as loud as it had been before.

Like no one had died at all.

“Now it makes sense why you don’t eat much,” Paik remarked, stealing a piece of jevrana bacon off my plate. Tuslan took it back from him, his eyes narrowed at the man.

I wasn’t going to eat that or anything else considering I still felt like I was going to puke, but I didn’t think Tuslan stole it back because he expected me to eat it. It was probably something along the lines of the sandwich thing from the night before.

“Yeah, I’d probably explode if I ate like a shifter,” I agreed, turning the subject away from Tuslan’s overprotectiveness. “Did you figure it out on the way here?” I asked Alyx.

Everyone at the table looked at her when she nodded. “I suspected, after your nightmare on the road. Do you have nightmares a lot?”

“Only since the attack.”

“I just can’t believe you walked around without shoes for so long with these squishy human feet,” Keena remarked, grabbing one of my feet and lifting it up to peer at it.

I nearly fell off the bench and had to grab Tuslan’s arm to remain sitting.

“Look at these things. They’re like pillows!”

I shrugged “I was scared. Bloody feet didn’t seem like the worst option, then.”

Zeva appeared out of what seemed like nowhere. She eyed Tuslan hungrily, which pissed me off, before slipping me a folded-paper note and standing there behind us, way too close to the Blood Alpha for my liking.

I angled the note away from Tuslan before opening it and reading quickly.

Slamming the paper shut, I abandoned the plate of food I knew I couldn’t eat anyway and slipped off the bench. One of the other shifters would take care of the leftovers; they were always hungry.

“Gotta go. See you later,” I said.

He caught my hand before I’d even taken a step. Reaching for the note, he tried to pluck it from my fingers, but I held it out of the way.

“Sorry. Royal Pack business.” I flashed him a tight smile. My eyes scanned the crowd, knowing he was going to argue and picking out familiar faces. “I’ve got three of Cina’s guards and three of my own; the traitor won’t bother trying anything.”

He didn’t release my hand. “You take one of my people.” His eyes were narrowed. “And your food.” He gestured to both plates in front of us.

He’d filled that one for me?

How much did he think I could eat?

“Bad idea,” Zeva shook her head quickly.

Everyone at the table glared at her, and her face flushed a bit. “I’m not the traitor, but bringing Blood Pack with us right now won’t end well for anyone.”

“Keena,” I looked at the short shifter.

She grinned and stood. “I hope we get to kill someone.”

Dammit. “Never mind. Alyx?” I looked at the redhead.

“Fuck this; I’m going.” Tuslan growled, standing.

I shot Zeva a “help me” look, but she was too busy drooling at the male towering over both of us.

“None of you are going,” I growled back at Tuslan, throwing a barrier between him and I, and then striding toward the door. Zeva and my other guards caught up to me.

“Is challenging the Blood Alpha really a good idea?” One of Cina’s guards asked me as we exited the castle. Holding my barrier in front of Tuslan grew more difficult the further I got, but I needed to make a statement.

“He won’t hurt me, if that’s what you’re asking. And I’ve challenged him dozens of times before, so this isn’t really different.”

He had to learn to respect that I was my own person, that he couldn’t control me. Assuming he did win the desedra, I still wanted him to consider me his equal.

And I knew the barrier wasn’t permanent; he would catch me. It wasn’t like I could stop him from tracking me. And I did appreciate his protection, and understood that he was having a hard time without a lalidro or anything else physically connecting us.

I just refused to be controlled.

“What happened?” I asked Zeva, not wanting to talk about Tuslan with my possible-traitor.

“Fere has been acting as temporary Alpha,” Zeva said quickly. “The others in the pack don’t like it. They think he’s corrupt.”

“He is corrupt,” I pointed out.

“Yes, but as far as we know, only financially. He’s being accused of working with the Tidals. Horst’s group has risen and captured him. He’s in bad shape, and they’re holding the Council House.”

Dammit.

Lennox had always struggled to keep the bastards in the pack in line. There were constantly fights breaking out among the factions of the city, which was much of the reason I’d been sneaking out to help for years.

“Why do they think he’s with the Tidals?” I asked.

“Some paperwork they claim to have found. They’re refusing to show it to us though, so we think it’s bullshit,” one of Cina’s guards explained.

Past experience made me think the same.

9

As expected, a burning phoenix caught me on the way to the Council House. Tuslan shifted in the air and landed smoothly on his feet, catching up to me as we approached.

I expected a growl or angry comment, but his expression was neutral.

Whether that was a good sign or a bad one, I’d yet to determine.

“What’s the situation?” he asked.

I hadn’t wanted to share the city or pack’s instability with him, knowing how tightly he ran his own ship. But he was a smart man, and it wasn’t like I could get him to leave without saying bitchy shit I wouldn’t mean and didn’t want to say.

“There are four warring factions in the Royal Capitol. Each has their own portion of the city, despite centuries of Lennox trying to remove the divisions. The factions are Fere’s, Horst’s, Pook’s, and Lore’s. We call them F, H, P, and L. Apparently F was temporary Alpha, and we just learned that H captured and tortured him,” I filled him in quickly.

Tuslan was an incredible Alpha; he would probably have a better idea of what to do in the situation than I would.

“Does the Queen often walk herself into hostage situations?” he asked Zeva.

The fact that he’d addressed the question to someone else pissed me off, but I didn’t call him on it.

Not right then, at least.

“Yup. Her barriers have ended many of the factions’ skirmishes,” Zeva confirmed. “But this one’s much bigger, given that leadership of the pack is at stake. Even though it’s temporary leadership.”

“And Lennox let this happen,” he stated.

“Lennox tried to stop it, but Cina undermined him at every turn.” Ellery answered that one. “The only time I’ve ever seen him undermine her was with Mesa. He was the one who taught her to sneak out.”

He looked at me.

I wasn’t answering a pointed look though, after he’d asked my guards questions I could easily answer. If he wanted to know something, he could come out and ask.

“Why did she have to sneak out?” he asked them, instead of gearing the question toward me.

“Because Cina all but kept the Human Queens captive. I thought that was well-known information.” Sable frowned.

“I wanted to hear it from you. What were the rules?”

“Stay in the castle. Keep your face and body covered at all times. Tell no one your name. Do as you’re told, and never argue,” Zeva listed the rules off one by one.

“And what if the rules were broken?”

The guards remained silent.

He growled, “Mesa, what did Cina do when you broke her rules?”

“The punishments varied. Most frequently, I’d get locked out of my room or denied food.” We approached the building, saving me from a further conversation. I’d ask his advice if I thought it would help, but now I was feeling pissy. “Don’t interfere, Tuslan. This isn’t your pack, and I don’t want these shifters thinking you’re in charge here.”

One of Cina’s guards opened the door to the Council House. My barrier went up around our group, a physical shield between us and the faction’s assholes. I’d been careful not to go against Lennox’s wishes before, only focused on trying to maintain the peace. After seeing how the Blood Pack worked, though, I wasn’t sure the conservative method was the best route.

Maybe the next Alpha would agree to adopt Tuslan’s “no second chances” rule.

Maybe the pack needed to be molded into shape.

The faction leaders sure as hell did.

Horst met us just inside the building. Surprise flickered across his face as he took in my guards and realized who I was. His gaze lingered on Tuslan, though, and his face paled before he looked back at me.

I knew I needed to act the same way I had on that stage. I needed to seem powerful, like I had my shit together and knew exactly what I was doing.

I walked up to the man, holding my barrier between us as I forced myself into his space. He looked down at me, and I looked boldly back at him.

Pushing my magic into the air, I maintained the barrier between Horst and myself as two of his henchmen strode out of other rooms.

“For your sake, I hope Fere’s still alive,” I said coldly.

My barrier formed needles along the side facing Horst, and uneasiness passed over his face as he leaned back. “I’m sure we can come to an agreement, Queenling,” he said.

Queenling.

The title had always pissed me off, but I’d never done anything about it.

“Queen Mesa,” I corrected him sharply. “And no, there will be no agreement this time.”

He paused a beat.

There was always an agreement. The faction would bargain what they wanted for what we wanted, and that way, we would both give something up to keep the peace.

But I wasn’t Lennox.

And I wasn’t going to give Horst what he wanted just because he captured one of the pack’s other assholes.

He hurt a fellow pack member; he’d pay the price.

I said simply, “You’ll step down as your faction’s leader, or I’ll give you to Fere’s group to determine your fate. We both know what they’ll do to you.”

Fere’s group was notorious for their unusual torture methods.

Horst’s eyes narrowed. “That’s not how this is going to work.”

“Is that so?” I tilted my head to the side. “You see the Blood Alpha behind me, don’t you?”

His eyes flicked to Tuslan and lingered for a bit before focusing back on me. He didn’t look scared, so I didn’t think Tuslan was trying to intimidate him.

“I spent the last four months in the Blood Pack, and suddenly, I find myself not believing in the agreements you factions have forced the leaders of Royal into for the past few centuries. When the desedra’s done, you’ll have a new leader—and that leader, whoever he is, will end your groups. I won’t give him a choice.”

The man smirked. “A Queen, giving orders to an Alpha? Let me know how that works out for you.”

“I’m not sure you’ll be alive for that report.” I put a hand to his chest and used my barrier to force the man backward. The needles pierced his skin, but only enough to annoy him. He stumbled a bit, and I took another step toward him. “What will it be?”

“I won’t step down,” he sneered. “And you won’t—”

I slammed him with my barrier again. His back hit the wall hard, but I knew he’d be fine.

At least, until Fere’s group had him.

Then, he’d die.

But I had to make a statement somehow. That was how power was built and maintained in a pack. Rules had to be followed, and men or women couldn’t be allowed to hurt one another without consequence. If they did, chaos would reign the way it currently was in the Royal Pack.

“Ellery,” I lifted my voice. “Take him to the South Side. Drop him at the fountain.”

His eyes grew a bit wider, even as his face flushed. “I won’t—”

“You’re not the Alpha or Queen here, Horst. I am.” I stepped back. “Elle?”

“With pleasure.”

She replaced me as I strode toward the stairs. That was where Horst’s men would be keeping Fere.

“Zeva, give his men the same choice,” I called as I headed up the stairs.

Tuslan caught me partway up while hell broke loose behind us. “That may be the sexiest thing you’ve ever done,” he murmured. “What do I have to do to be on the receiving end of your threats?”

I rolled my eyes. “Liar.”

My hand brushed his crotch—not on accident, I assumed, since he’d had to move to make that happen—and my eyes flew open wide at what I felt.

“Tuslan,” I hissed.

“You doubted me.” He didn’t bat a single apologetic eyelash. “I like you better as a Queen than a leviathan.”

The words made me warm, everywhere.

“I thought you’d hate me,” I said quietly. “No second chances, remember?”

“That hasn’t applied to you since the beginning. And I knew you weren’t telling me the full story, so finding out the truth isn’t a betrayal; it’s a revelation.”

The conversation died as we entered the room Fere was being held in. Calling it a room was a bit of an overstatement… it was an old maintenance closet.

His whole face was swollen and bloody, and he sat up against the wall with his arms over his knees, his whole body hunched.

“Fere,” I said.

His head jerked up a bit, and his eyes squinted. “Queenling?”

“Queen Mesa,” I said sharply.

Damn the factions and their belittling nicknames.

“Didn’t know you were back.” His voice slurred a bit.

He was in really, really bad shape.

“My desedra started yesterday.”

“How many forms do you have?” Tuslan asked him.

I didn’t know where he was going with that, but he knew a lot more about injured people than I did.

“Three.”

Tuslan glanced at me. “He’s not going to survive much longer.”

“I’m fine,” the man protested, his voice still slurred. He tried to get up, but staggered.

“How do you feel about healing him?” I asked. “I don’t think your magic can latch to anyone while you’re in the desedra.”

“I’d rather not.” Tuslan didn’t bother lying. “But if you ask me to, I will.”

That was… something.

Maybe even something big.

“What would you do, if you were the Alpha dealing with this?” I asked.

He didn’t hesitate. “Kill all of the faction leaders and anyone else who opposes you. Start fresh.”

I shot him a dead stare—pun intended—and his lips twitched as he withheld a grin.

Teasing bastard.

“You’re vicious, but you never kill unless it’s a last resort. Try again.”

“In your position, I would probably do exactly what you did—give them a choice. Packs were meant to be family; strictly enforcing a rule against violence between family members is perfectly reasonable. I’ve found it makes people feel safer. But my pack isn’t the Royal Pack, and I’m not you.”

“And ultimately, I’m not the Alpha.” I looked back at the man. “I’m taking down the factions,” I told Fere. “If you’ll help me, I’ll ask my phoenix friend here to heal you. If you won’t, I’ll let you die.”

Fere blinked at me, his expression still off. “I’ll help you.”

Smart man.

I didn’t trust him, of course. There was as good a chance that he’d turn around and try to kill me, in which case I’d be forced to take his life myself or ask Tuslan to do it.

Truthfully, there might not be any asking required. He’d probably just kill the guy for daring to make an attempt on my life.

I looked at Tuslan. “Will you?”

“If you give me something of equal value.”

I lifted an eyebrow. “What’s of equal value to a priceless phoenix healing?”

“A priceless kiss from the Shifter Queen, perhaps.”

I saw the look in his eyes. He had known exactly what choice I would make, and exactly what he wanted for it.

“A short kiss, or a long one?” I countered. “Standing, or laying? I’d like the specifics before I agree to this.”

His lips curved up a bit. “Length, location, and position would be entirely up to you.”

I sighed. “Then I guess I’ve got to agree.” I held out a hand, assuming he’d want to hold it while he healed the guy. It was what he’d done when he healed those Blood Pack men who had almost been killed by Tidals.

His fingers slipped between mine. Though his hand was massive and mine was small, our fingers fit together perfectly.

“Wow,” Sable said, from behind us. “You really do have feelings for each other.”

I hadn’t even realized she was there.

My cheeks were warm as I glanced at her while Tuslan led me over to Fere.

“Did you not believe them?” Wren asked.

“I wondered if he was manipulating her. But that wasn’t manipulation.”

“It was respect,” Tuslan replied, grabbing Fere’s arm. Flames raced over the dying man’s skin, and even though I’d seen it multiple times before, I still watched in awe as the flames vanished and left him completely whole.

“Holy shit,” Sable breathed.

My eyes didn’t leave the healed man for a long moment. “I know.”

I looked at Wren. “Can you take him back to his faction and make sure he starts shutting it down?”

She nodded, gesturing the man toward the door.

He reluctantly stepped past us, and she followed him out.

I followed them out, slipping my hand out of Tuslan’s. Not because I wanted to, but because I knew I couldn’t keep leading him or myself on when there was no guarantee of our future.

“Where are we going?” Sable checked, as we headed back down the stairs.

“To tell Horst’s faction that he’s dead, and deal with them.” They were the biggest, and the worst faction, despite Fere’s group’s love for torture.

It was going to be a long, shitty day.

10

We missed the lunch feast, but Tuslan spoke with one of my guards and somehow managed to get someone to bring me food. He ate what I didn’t and seemed to like it.

At dinnertime, we met up with the others in the dining room for what was luckily an uneventful dinner. I met far too many shifters of all levels of power, and Tuslan didn’t do anything drastic when I talked to the other men—or even when I smiled at them.

Cina would’ve been proud of all my smiling.

I slipped out of the dining room at the first chance I got. Tuslan followed me out, probably giving away my sneakiness in the process, but no one followed him other than Sable and Wren.

It had been a long day, as expected. I was exhausted and overstimulated and feeling done with the world. I ached to collapse into the bathtub with a good book.

My sandaled feet were loud on the tile as we walked, so I stopped long enough to strip off the shoes. They dangled from my hand as I walked, the other hand slipping into my pocket.

As much as I wanted to get in the tub, it had been a long time since I’d gone swimming. I liked the way I felt when I exercised, and honestly, I needed to take back the strength and endurance it gave me.

I hoped I’d love the water as much as I remembered.

Stepping into my room, I left Tuslan by the doors as I headed for my closet. I had a handful of simple swim bandeaus and panties, so I grabbed the ones closest to the door—which happened to be my favorites—and shut it long enough to strip and change.

Getting the tight top off, I felt like I could finally breathe in all the way. It was glorious.

Fitting the swim clothing over my curves was harder than I remembered, a fact I attributed to my lack of exercise while living in Blood territory. I could breathe well enough, though, so I freed the hair that had gotten trapped within the clothing and headed back out.

Tuslan’s gaze raked my figure hotly from where he stood, leaned up against the wall near the door. “Damn.” He drew out the word, and my face flushed.

“I’m going swimming.” I glanced down at my fingers and then wiggled the ring I wore in his direction. “Should I put a barrier on this while I swim?”

“I’ll wear it before I shift so it doesn’t get doused in saltwater.” His eyes hadn’t left my figure, yet.

“Are you going to keep staring?” I asked, heading for the door.

He straightened, grabbing it for me and holding open. “Unless you suddenly grow unattractive.”

I stepped into the hallway and drawled, “Cute.”

“I’ve been called many things, but never cute.” He fell into step with me, not seeming to mind my slow pace. “Will you please cover yourself so I don’t have to kill anyone else who stares at you?”

I sighed. “I don’t like covering my body, Tuslan. I like the way I look.”

“As do I. But without a lalidro on your abdomen, or any claim markings on your skin, every other male we come across will also enjoy the way you look.” His voice took on an edge of a growl.

I stopped walking, turning to face him. “If you win the desedra and we become mates, are you going to be okay with me putting all of this on display?” I swept a hand down my body.

“When you wear my golden lalidro on your abdomen and my bites on your skin, I won’t mind you walking to the beach in this,” he agreed. “I’ll never be comfortable with all of it on display, though. Your breasts and vagina will be mine, and mine alone.”

Wow.

I hadn’t thought the word “vagina” could ever sound sexy, but somehow Tuslan managed to make it a turn-on.

“That’s fair.” I finally said, turning and walking further down the hall. We only made it a few steps before he spoke again, changing the subject.

“This isn’t the way to the beach.”

I flashed him a smile. “I know all the wrong ways to get to places.”

Tuslan ditched his boots in the sand while I waded into the water, a grin on my face. Beasts, I’d missed the ocean.

“Where are we swimming to?” His gaze swept the horizon.

“The barrier islands.” I gestured out toward them. “I’m sure I won’t make it all the way there, though.”

I dove in. The water was cool against my cheeks, pulling my hair out behind me. Though I missed the shimmer of Tuslan shifting, I didn’t miss the sparkle of burgundy below me as my leviathan made an appearance.

I waited for him to swim around me the way he had the last time we were in the water together, but his body remained a solid two feet away from mine.

Deciding not to think too much about that, I focused on the feeling of the water on my arms and legs. The way my muscles worked, propelling me forward and onward. The movement was more difficult after so much time away from the water, and it didn’t take long for my body and lungs to start burning.

I pushed through the burning sensation until I couldn’t anymore, and then rolled onto my back, floating while I took in deep, heaving breaths of air.

The leviathan shifted, and then Tuslan’s concerned dark eyes were sweeping me for injuries. “What happened?” He reached for me but stopped himself, just treading water beside me.

“Human, remember?” I panted. “Just catching my breath.”

The concern didn’t really fade. “You went much further last time.”

Bastard.

“Humans have to exercise regularly to maintain their strength.” I sucked in air. “It’s been a long time.”

Anger flashed in his eyes. “You should’ve told me not to touch you and then kept swimming when you were on Blood land.” His voice was clipped. “Now I’ve weakened you.”

A laugh burst from my aching lungs. “That’s what you’re worried about? Why you’re swimming away from me?”

“You stopped doing something you love because of me. Of course I’m worried about it,” he growled back.

“I was afraid of my attraction to you. I didn’t go back because I was worried if I kept spending time with you, I’d fall in love with you.”

“And now?”

Now, it was a little too late.

I hesitated though, knowing I couldn’t say that and instead, staring up at the sky. It was a soft pinkish-purple color thanks to the setting sun, and while I thought it was pretty, it had nothing on the man beside me. “Now… I think we need to maintain some distance until you win the desedra. If you win the desedra.”

“At least that time, you mentioned it as a possibility.”

I snorted. “You’re a pain in the ass, Red.”

He smirked. “As long as the ass I’m paining is yours, it’s my pleasure.”

I laughed, and then had to grab his shoulder to remain upright as I nearly submerged my exhausted body. He let me hold myself up with his shoulder but didn’t grab me or keep me there. Honestly, I missed his touch.

Which was going to be a problem if he didn’t win.

“Ready to head back?” I asked him, not voicing my concerns.

He was just going to insist he’d win anyway.

“Are you sure you’re ready? Your heart is still beating faster than usual.”

“The whole point of this is to push myself, but thanks for your concern.” I squeezed his shoulder before releasing him and turning myself vertical once again, setting my gaze on the part of the beach I’d be heading back toward.

“Please be careful, Mesa.” His hand brushed my arm, the tiniest bit of contact, but his flames rushed through me in that second. My body relaxed, the ache in my muscles vanishing. I even breathed easier. “Worried about my fragile human life?” I teased him, though I did mean the words.

“I’m worried about you, not your humanity.”

My heart swelled a bit. I’d been defined by my humanity for so, so long.

Before I said something sappy that would definitely lead to us making out in the water, I changed the subject. “I’ll race you back.”

A chuckle escaped the man as I dove back under the water, legs scissoring behind me.

He let me win.

I expected to find another Blood Pack meeting in my room when we got back, but instead, it was empty. I left Tuslan in the main part of my room, stepping into the bathroom and shutting the door behind me. My bathtub in the castle was nothing special, but it was still a tub—and I’d definitely earned my bubble bath.

I stripped out of my bandeau and panties, stepping into the shower to rinse the ocean’s salt off my skin. I reached for my usual soap, squirting the bottle into my hands.

The scent of honey met my nose, and I frowned, lifting my hand closer to my eyes and squinting down at it. Even in the shower’s half-light, I could see that it was a different color than usual.

I sniffed it again.

“Tuslan!” I yelled.

The bathroom door opened a moment later. “Yes?”

“Since when have you resorted to actually replacing my usual soap?”

He chuckled. “No Queen should be using cheap, harsh soaps. Especially when she spends hours in the tub reading books every night.”

My face flushed. “Why honey?”

“It emphasizes your natural scent deliciously. And I saw how many bags of honey-flavored Rounds Keena brought you. Just as many as the strawberry ones, even though you didn’t eat as many.”

I warmed further. “When did you even have time to do this?”

“For you, I always make time.”

Dammit, he was making it really hard not to fall into his arms.

“Alright, get out of here.”

He chuckled. “And here I was, hoping for an invitation in.”

I looked around for something to throw at him, and found a lightweight sponge. Throwing it over the wall of the shower, toward the door, I grinned when he laughed.

The door closed a moment later, and the room felt emptier already.

Shutting off the shower, I slipped out and walked over to the tub. I stopped in front of it when I saw a book sitting on the edge, beside a row of familiar-looking jars, tubes, and bottles. They were the same products he’d always set out in my bathroom—the ones I’d only ever used in the lair.

I knew it wasn’t possible, but it felt like my heart swelled. Turning on the water, I began to fill the tub, adding some of the honey-scented bubbles. Picking up the book, I found a new romance. Just like I always had back at my house in the Blood Pack.

My eyes stung a bit.

I’d expected him to hate me, or dislike me.

I’d at least expected him to be angry with me.

I definitely hadn’t expected him to continue pursuing me the same way he always had.

Did my real identity truly not change the way he felt for me?

He’d said as much, but he’d been charming nearly as long as I’d known him. Words were difficult to trust. Actions were… easier.

I sank into the tub, forcing my mind off of Tuslan as I focused on the story written on the book’s pages.

Somehow, every word reminded me of him.

When I walked to my bed an hour later, I hadn’t finished the book.

I always finished the book.

But my heart wasn’t in it, anymore. Not when I knew I was hiding from my own romance story.

I dried off with a towel that Tuslan had certainly replaced with something fancier, lotioned my skin, and walked to the closet while wrapped in the towel. I could feel Tuslan’s eyes on me as I closed the door behind myself, my mind spinning a bit.

I wanted him. I wanted to be with him. I wanted him to win the desedra, to tie our magic together.

But… what if he didn’t?

What if he lost, and all my feelings earned me was more pain?

I couldn’t commit to Tuslan completely; I couldn’t hurt myself that way. But maybe I could give him just a little more.

Slipping into my sleep clothing, I stepped back out.

Tuslan was on my bed again, shoeless and staring at me.

Walking to the bed, I bit my lip to keep myself from smiling at the hungry way he watched me move. Even though I was human and slow and asymmetrical, he stared at me like I was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. And if his words were to be believed, he actually thought I was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

I slipped under the blankets, forcing my gaze to the ceiling. A few of the lights were still on, so I could see everything well enough.

“Why are you on my bed?” I asked him.

“It’s comfortable.”

I knew the words were a lie. Compared to the plush bed in his lair and in the house I’d stayed at in the Blood Pack, my castle mattress was uncomfortable. “The truth, Tuslan.”

There was a moment’s pause. “You’ll smell like me in the morning if you sleep in a bed that I’ve laid on.” He finally admitted.

My heart squeezed. “Go take a shower. After you’re clean, you can sleep with me. Just sleep.”

He was gone instantly, and my lips curved upward when I heard the shower turn on just a breath later.

The shower turned off as quickly as it had turned on, and then Tuslan was back, flipping off the lights and slipping under the blankets on the opposite side of the bed from where he’d been before.

His side met mine.

I didn’t bother keeping my distance on the mattress; I’d just roll over onto him in my sleep, anyway.

Turning, I lifted my leg over his hips and my arm over his chest. His hands found my waist, and he lifted me the rest of the way up him, so I nestled against him the way I had those other nights we’d spent together.

“You’re a good heater,” I whispered.

“You’re a good pillow,” he whispered back.

Asshole.

I lifted a hand and smacked some part of his face. He caught my hand, and licked it. Right up the center.

“Tuslan,” I made a face. “You’re so weird.”

“You’re delicious.” He licked it again. “And that was a compliment. I usually sleep on my stomach; you’re a far better mattress and pillow than the ground.”

That was… kind of sweet.

“Can I have my hand back now?”

“No.” He tugged on it a little and licked the inside of my wrist. “I’m keeping it.”

My lips curved up a bit. “So possessive.”

“Extremely.” He pressed his lips to the inside of my wrist, where he’d licked it. “Sleep, Leviathan. You need your rest.”

“Because I’m human?” I countered, though I was definitely getting sleepy.

“Because you’re mine, and you’ll need the energy to protect yourself tomorrow while I fight for you.” He kissed my wrist again before holding my palm to his cheek.

There was a long moment of quiet, and my eyelids began to fall. A thought occurred to me, though, and I asked with my eyes closed, “Did you read the romance books you were giving me?”

“Every one. You have quite the scandalous taste.” His hand slowly trailed down my body, from my neck toward my toes.

My cheeks warmed. “I thought I’d die a virgin,” I admitted. “If someone I don’t like wins the desedra, I still hope I do.”

“I won’t let that happen,” he murmured, his hand stopping at the back of my thigh and cupping it.

“Which one?”

“The second. Though I sincerely hope I can convince you out of the first.” His head turned, and his lips pressed into the palm of my hand.

“If you win, there won’t be any convincing required,” I whispered back.

His chest rumbled softly beneath me, so quiet I wondered if I’d heard it at all. His hand tightened around my thigh, and I loved the way he held me there.

“Why do you like my legs so much?”

“Because they’re as close as you’ll let me to touching your ass. And your—” I smacked my hand over his mouth, and felt his lips part in a grin again. “Go to sleep, Leviathan,” he said against my fingers.

“Shut up,” I grumbled. “I hate taking orders.”

His lips moved against my hand again. “Let’s stay up all night discussing my appreciation for your softest parts then, shall we?”

“Go to sleep, Red,” I squeezed as much of his lips and face as I could grab, and he chuckled softly before he licked my hand again.

I let go immediately.

“Mmm. Delicious. I can’t wait to taste the rest of you. The men in your romance books always seem to enjoy the way their—”

“I will kick you onto the floor if you finish that sentence,” I warned, my face flushed and my body hot.

He chuckled again, louder.

“Quit laughing; I’m trying to sleep,” I teased.

His laugh grew deeper, richer.

Beasts, I could listen to him laugh all night.

“Yes ma’am.” His lips met the top of my head. “Sleep well, Pillow.”

“You too, Heater.”

He kissed my forehead again before we finally stopped talking and went to sleep.

11

In the morning, Wren opened my door with a grin. I lifted my head off Tuslan’s chest, and his fingers stroked my inner thigh and bare lower back.

She strode inside, holding two hangers. From them, hung two different sparkling golden outfits. “Hey, beautiful,” she teased, carrying them to my closet.

Tuslan’s fingers curled around my thigh possessively.

“You bought me clothes?” I asked her, my mouth dry and my brain working slow thanks to the blissfulness of sleep.

“Not me. Him.” She tilted her head toward me, before stepping inside the closet. She hung the clothes before coming back out. “It pays off to have an ancient dragon for a lover, I suppose.”

My cheeks flushed. “We’re not—”

“You suppose correctly.” Tuslan’s fingers pressed into my lower back. “I’m sure you noticed the diamonte on her finger.”

“I’d have to be blind not to,” she stopped, putting a hand on her hip. “I like pretty things far more than most women, but be careful, Mesa. It takes more than money and expensive gifts to make a person happy over a shifter-length lifespan.”

Tuslan’s fingers dug into my skin. Not painfully, but definitely harder than they had been.

“Since when are you the mother-figure?” I countered.

“Since I care about you, and the other guards have fallen for his charm. Dragons can hide their true faces better than most… so just be careful.”

She strolled out of the room.

When the door shut behind her, Tuslan’s fingers relaxed. “Shit. I’m sorry.” His fire washed over my skin, healing my nonexistent injuries and relaxing my body once again.

“Are you hiding your true face from me?” I accused, lifting myself to stare down at him.

His eyes darkened. “I’m going to kill her.”

I couldn’t help it; I smirked. “I’m kidding, Tuslan. You’re many things, but sneaky isn’t one of them. You’re good at most things, but if I wanted to slip in undetected and poison someone, I’d ask Alyx. Not you.”

His expression grew annoyed. “I could poison someone if I wanted.”

“How many people have you killed with poison, Red?”

He considered it. His eyes darkened further, but he didn’t answer.

I cracked a grin at the frustration in his expression. “None?”

“None,” he grumbled.

“Exactly. Don’t be bummed about it; I’d probably accidentally strangle you with my barrier if you were that sneaky.”

“Accidentally?” His eyes grew amused.

My grin widened. “Extremely accidentally.”

He chuckled, running his hand lightly up the back of my thigh. “Do you think she’s the traitor?”

“Wren?” I glanced back at the door, my eyebrows lifting. “No. I don’t know—but I don’t think so. I’m inclined to trust Ellery more than the rest of them, but otherwise, I don’t have a clue which of them did it. I’m not naturally very suspicious… though I don’t like Zeva very much right now. So maybe she’s the traitor.”

“Not naturally suspicious, yet you hid your identity from me.” He picked up a chunk of my waves, sliding his fingers along the strands. I was sure they didn’t feel great, since I’d slept on my hair while it was wet. Something I always did, which never made my hair feel great.

“I was powerless, and even more alone than usual. You saw how badly Jaspe hurt me; I couldn’t even defend myself. It was horrible.” I shook my head a bit, wanting to be free of those memories.

“I’m sorry I didn’t protect you better.” His expression grew darker.

“You thought I was a shifter,” I pointed out.

“I protect my pack better than that, though. I shouldn’t have let myself get distracted.”

“Considering I’m the one who distracted you, I really don’t hold it against you. I am one of a kind, at least in Tendira.” I winked, slipping out of bed.

He reluctantly let go of me, remaining where he was and watching me walk to the closet. I flashed him a smirk before I shut the door behind me.

My fingers slipped over the rich gold fabric, my lips parting a bit as I took in the beauty of the clothing.

“Did Reta make these?” I called out, knowing Tuslan would have no problem hearing me through the door.

“No. Though I already have her working on a new wardrobe for you, my Queen. It will be black and gold, to represent the Blood Royal Pack.”

I scoffed. “You’re insanely full of yourself.”

“With good reason.”

Well, he wasn’t exactly wrong. But I couldn’t tell him that.

“If we merge our packs, it’s going to be called the Royal Blood Pack, not Blood Royal. That sounds terrible.”

“Royal Blood makes us sound like elitists,” he countered.

“Blood Royal makes my pack sound weak.”

Tuslan chuckled. “We’ll just call it the Blood Queen’s Pack, then.”

I considered it while I slipped out of my sleep clothing and put on the pants from my favorite of the two outfits.

The Blood Queen.

“I’d sound like a mass murderer.”

I did kind of like it, though.

“Who would dare challenge the Blood Queen?” he asked. “The title would protect you. And you said you wanted a pack; I’d give you the strongest pack in Tendira, and let you take the credit for our strength. What more could you want, female?”

I threw out the first words that came to mind. “Love. Peace. Chocolate.”

“I’ll provide plenty of all three,” he said without hesitation. “Blood Queen.”

“I’ll think about it,” I finally agreed, though I was already leaning toward yes.

I pulled the bandeau off the hanger and tugged it over my head. It wouldn’t go over my shoulders.

“Don’t think long. I plan to raze the competition today; the third round should be the last.”

I lifted my eyebrows. That was a lot of razing, considering there were still more than seven hundred competitors. “How many deaths are we talking about?” I maneuvered the bandeau over one leg and then the other, hoping I could fit it over my ass. There were buttons on the back, but considering how small they were, I’d need assistance to button them.

Which I didn’t want.

Or rather, which I wanted too much.

“Only the ones that resist me. Many have already vowed their allegiance and will be sitting in the ballroom until the end of the twelve hours. Those who refuse, we’ll knock unconscious and tie up with whatever shit we can find. Some will slip past us, but not many.”

I nodded, jumping up and down as I tried to yank the bandeau over my ass.

It was a lost cause, but I was desperate.

“What are you doing, Blue?” His voice sounded closer, then. And much more curious.

“Trying to get this damn thing on,” I grumbled, wiggling the fabric back down my ass. “You’re going to have to help me.”

He opened the door without hesitation, and then halted, his eyes on my bare breasts.

“Did I say to open the door?” I sassed him, kicking it shut. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen my bare boobs, but the way he was looking at me, it may as well have been.

Tuslan caught it before it closed all the way, though he let it close enough to block his view.

“Beasts, Mesa.” His voice was gravel instead of silk, and it gave me the damned goosebumps.

I waited for more of his charming compliments, but he seemed at a loss for words.

“You’ve seen my tits before,” I reminded him.

“They’re better up close.”

“Is that an insult?” I shot back, struggling to undo the tiny-ass buttons.

Who the hell even invented buttons that tiny?

“It’s as far from an insult as you can possibly get.” His voice was still rougher than it should’ve been.

I finally got the last one undone and opened the bandeau. It looked like a corset, with boning beneath the golden silk and a small dip in the part over my boobs.

Holding it to my chest with my hands, I said, “Okay, come help now.”

Tuslan stepped inside, his gaze sweeping my figure. My eyes dipped to the tent in his pants.

Damn.

Was it getting hot in there?

He walked around to my back. “These are the smallest buttons I’ve ever seen. Who created these?”

“I was literally just wondering the same thing. What person wants to work this many buttons?”

“No one. I can see the effect she was going for, though. It will be beautiful, after twenty minutes of buttoning.”

He tugged the sides of the corset together before starting.

“Good thing you’ve got super-speed working for you.”

His fingers and knuckles brushed my skin again and again as he worked, and every brush heated me further. “It’s not super-speed.”

“Then what is it? I’ve never met anyone as fast as you.”

“Every part of a shifter’s body speeds up or strengthens when they get a new form. The increase isn’t linear, either. If a two-form shifter functions at five-times the speed and strength of a human, a three-form functions at twelve-times, and a four-form at twenty.”

“And you?”

“Thirty. That’s just the basic idea, though; I don’t truly know how much faster or stronger I am than most others.”

He continued buttoning, and I continued growing warmer.

“How did you get so strong?” I wondered. “I know that’s probably a stupid question, or something. I just don’t really understand how a shifter gets another form.”

“Near-death experiences trigger new forms. They arise out of need. When I became a dragon, it was because my Alpha nearly killed me for a mistake I made—I needed scales as tough as a diamonte to survive a death blow, and I shifted.”

“Wow. Shit. That’s freaky.”

“Yes. It’s where the often-quoted, ‘evolve or die’ originated, I imagine.”

“No kidding. What happened for your other forms?”

He paused a beat. “You should never ask most shifters that question. A shifter shares when they choose to, not when they’re asked.”

“Shit. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize; you didn’t know. And I’d like to tell you, anyway. But I’d like you to share yourself with me, too, in exchange.”

“Information for information.” I nodded. “I can live with that. We’re running late though; tonight or tomorrow night?”

“Yes. We’ll pick up food and share our stories.” He finally finished the last button, stepping around to the front of me. His knuckle slipped under my chin and tilted my head up so our eyes collided. My heart pounded, and my body was still flushed. “For the record, if you were a shifter, you’d be at least a four-form. You survived both the attack on your castle and Jaspe’s murder attempt, so when I call you Phoenix or Leviathan, I’m probably not far off-base.”

I bit my lip and then released it. “You’re trying to charm me again.”

He flashed me the smallest of genuine smiles. “No, I’m trying to prove at least one of my theories correct. And it’s working.”

I laughed.

And then before I had time to think about it, I grabbed his face and tugged him down to me when I went up on my tiptoes. My lips crashed into his, my tongue sliding into his mouth as he opened for me. His arms wrapped around my back, pulling my body flush against his while our tongues and mouths warred.

We didn’t just kiss—we burned. It had been too long, and there were too many unacknowledged feelings between us.

My back hit the wall, Tuslan’s hands sliding up my sides as he deepened the kiss further, pressing his body into mine. He was hard everywhere, and beasts, I loved the way he felt against me.

My leg wrapped around his hip, pulling him in closer. The second one followed, closing any distance that remained between us.

Our bodies throbbed against each other, our mouths fighting a battle that neither of us wanted to end. His hands found my thighs, then my ass, then my face, and hair. Mine were on his cheeks, and neck, and shoulders, and biceps.

I lost track of time as we kissed and moved and touched and breathed.

“You’re going to be late to your own damned desedra!” Wren barked, her fist pounding the door a few inches from us.

I jumped, ripping my face away from Tuslan’s so fast it slammed against the wall. Tuslan snarled at the door, his mouth retaking mine instantly.

“The wall releases anyone who doesn’t show up,” Ellery called out.

Tuslan ripped his face away from mine that time, his eyes dark but churning. “Shit.” He buried his face in my neck before stepping away. “We’ve got to go, Blue.”

“Right. Yes.” I wasn’t thinking with anything but my body, right then.

Tuslan adjusted his pants a bit before sweeping me up in his arms and hauling our asses out of the closet.

12

I ignored the pointed looks from so many judgmental bitches and assholes as my guards and I strode out of the ballroom and then out of the castle. According to Alyx, my lips were swollen, and according to Keena, I looked properly fucked—even though I didn’t smell it.

My actual guards hadn’t said anything about it, other than Wren’s dirty looks and Ellery’s contemplative ones. Sable was grinning a bit more than usual, and Zeva just looked angry.

“So what’s your pack’s plan this time?” Ellery asked Keena.

“I don’t know. Fucking Tomo’s acting like he’s my damned mate so he won’t tell me a thing. For my protection’s sake,” Keena all but snarled back. “And Paik’s been milking the lack of magic available for connection, so he’s been balls-deep in who-knows-how-many women. I want to kill something. Or someone. Maybe a lot of someones.”

Alyx stepped away from the guard she was talking to and reached into Keena’s pocket, pulling out a Round. She handed it to the shorter woman, who growled a “thanks” and took her anger out on the candy.

“Which one’s Tomo?” Zeva checked. “I could try to take him off your hands for you.”

Keena spun to face the woman, her expression contorting as her eyes all but flamed. She snarled, “I’ll fucking kill you if you try.”

“Easy.” I stepped between Keena and Zeva, though part of me wanted to watch Keena take my guard down. “Maybe we should tell him to drop out of the desedra,” I suggested. “For both of your sakes?”

“Tuslan needs him for this plan to work,” Keena snapped back, spinning back toward the invisible-to-her walls of the maze. From what I could see, it was far more complex this time around. There were three levels, and so many dead-ends it wasn’t even funny.

“Why does Tuslan need him?” I frowned. “He made it sound like the plan was simple.”

“I don’t know. No one’s telling me anything right now, and I want to kill all of them for it,” she bit out.

I noticed Alyx was being quiet—too quiet.

She stared out at the maze she couldn’t see, as if she was trying to figure out the correct path out.

Since she couldn’t see it, I knew she was avoiding us.

“What’s the plan no one’s telling us?” I asked her.

Her lips pressed together.

“Don’t make me impale you, basilisk,” Keena snarled again, around the candy in her mouth.

“Tuslan told me they’re tying people up—trying to decimate the numbers the polite way or something.”

Alyx’s eyes flicked to the castle. “I can’t tell you. You’re going to find out, but… I can’t tell you.” She bit her lip.

“Queen Mesa!” Someone yelled behind me.

Me and most of the others in the tent spun around. A young shifter girl, maybe ten, sprinted ahead of the guards chasing her. She was fast—really damn fast.

I remembered what Tuslan had just told me about the shifters, and wondered if she was a three-form. How else would she outrun them?

Sure enough, as she skidded to a stop in front of me, I saw her green eyes churning with colors. They didn’t churn as fast as Alyx and Keena’s, but they moved as fast as my guards’

A three-form at ten?

Wouldn’t that mean she’d been through some kind of near-death experience?

“Let her through,” I told my guards, who looked like they were ready to strike down an adorable ten-year-old.

“Queen Mesa,” the girl panted. Her skin was dark and her braids hung damp around her face, soaked through with sweat. “It’s the factions.”

The factions?

“What happened?”

“They’re burning.” She swallowed roughly, her eyes wide. “I was in Lore’s building… I almost burned to death. I—I—” She stared down at her hands, and I noticed they were shaking. “I shifted.”

Fire and shifters only went together in a few forms, but the way she was looking at her hands told me which one she’d shifted into.

I crouched in front of her, taking her hands in mine. “You shifted into a phoenix?”

She jerked her head in a nod. “I think so… I think so. There was blood… there was blood, and I couldn’t feel my legs, and I think I… I think I shifted into a phoenix.”

She looked absolutely petrified.

I wrapped my arms around her. Hugging wasn’t normal for shifters, but I didn’t give a shit. When a ten-year-old went through something hard, you hugged them. Tight. As much as possible.

“That’s amazing,” I told her. “Phoenixes are so cool.”

The factions burning were not cool, but I could take thirty seconds to tell a little girl she wasn’t a monster.

“Really?” she whispered.

“Really. They can heal people from everything. One time, I was dying, and a phoenix saved my life. He saved all of Tendira from savagery—with his flames. Isn’t that incredible?”

“I just want to save the factions.” Her voice quivered. “They’re burning.”

“What happened?” I urged.

“I don’t know. I heard people yelling about the Blood Alpha. They were going to make the factions bleed for not listening to the Queen.”

My heart clenched, and I shot Alyx a look over my shoulder. Her expression didn’t give anything away, though.

“Alright. Let’s go.”

“You can’t leave the desedra,” Sable argued, stepping between me and the edge of the tent.

“My pack is burning, Sable. The desedra will run without me, the pack won’t,” I practically snarled back.

Was she the traitor?

I didn’t know, and there was no time to wonder.

“I’ll get us there faster,” Keena growled.

“You’re wearing black,” the girl said, clinging to my pants. “You’re one of them.”

“My pack didn’t do this. We don’t kill innocents,” Keena’s voice was a bit softer, then. Not a lot, but a little.

“We’ll worry about who did this after we deal with the fire,” I told all of them. “Keena, can you shift?”

She bobbed her head, her form shimmering.

The girl gasped and buried her face in my leg. I bent down and hugged her again. “Ellery?” I looked at my guard. She was fierce, but honestly, I trusted her more than I trusted the others. Ellery was steady in a way the others weren’t; she was the motherly one, after all.

“I’ll stay with her and watch the desedra. Get back as soon as possible,” Ellery said, her gaze flicking to Alyx and Keena. “Keep her safe.”

Both women bobbed their heads, and Alyx and I hurried onto Keena’s back.

Admittedly, Alyx had a much easier time getting on than I did.

“I really hope your plan doesn’t involve burning my pack to the ground,” I muttered to Alyx as I held on tightly to Keena.

“It doesn’t,” she murmured back. “But I’m sure we’re not the only ones with a plan.”

The words struck me hard.

Horror ate away at my soul when I saw my pack’s capitol below us.

How had we not seen the flames, or smelled the smoke?

It was a few miles, and the capitol was uphill from the castle, but the whole city was on fire—and from what I could see, it had started in the center. The place where the corners of all four factions met.

“Beasts,” Alyx breathed. There was horror in her voice—and she was a lead wolf for the damned Blood Pack, so she had certainly seen her fair share of horrors.

“Tuslan’s never burned a city down?” I demanded, my mind flashing back to the house he’d burned down in the forest after he killed the people who’d abducted me. They deserved it, I thought, but if that was something he did often…

As we approached the fire, Alyx had to yell to respond. “Never a city. Houses, sometimes—but it would take more than one dragon or phoenix’s fire to start something like this. This would take at least a dozen shifters, and some kind of accelerant.”

I threw up a barrier around the three of us. “Fly toward the center,” I yelled to Keena. “I’ll keep us safe. Look for any signs of life—we have to get my people out.”

Keena dove toward the outer edge of flames, instead.

“Nothing could survive in the middle of that, Mesa,” Alyx called above the crackling noise of the fire. “We’ll get as close as your magic lets us, but we’ll have to search on foot.”

“We have to help all of them,” I shouted back, starting to feel a bit hysterical. Not hysterical in the good way, either.

My people were dying—burning—and there wasn’t a fucking thing I could do.

Unless…

I had an idea.

A crazy, idea.

An absolutely insane idea.

One that might work, or… kill me.

“Land!” I yelled at Keena.

She spiraled downward, and we held on tight when she landed harder than usual. I kept us safe, though she’d put us down in a small gap in the flames.

“I’m going to put the fire out,” I told the women, determination blazing through me. “I can stifle it with my barriers.”

“You’re not even at full power,” Keena protested.

“I don’t give a fuck,” I practically snarled. “Get everyone out that you can.”

“Mesa, Tuslan’s not here to heal you. He won’t even know what’s happening,” Alyx said, grabbing me by the shoulders. Her eyes crashed into mine. “There’s nothing we can do if you get hurt.”

She must’ve known that my energy powered my barriers. I didn’t know if that was a well-known fact, but I didn’t have time to care.

“Get everyone out,” I repeated.

My guards landed around us, ignoring the fact that they didn’t have barriers. I had six of them—all of them but Ellery and one of Cina’s old guards.

“What’s the plan?” Sable demanded.

“I’m killing the fire. You’re going to spread out and save everyone you can,” I repeated. “Ask Ellery to get the new phoenix girl to heal those who are really injured. If she won’t, there’s nothing we can do, but try.”

A few of them nodded.

“You’re going to kill yourself,” Sable snarled at me, grabbing me much like Alyx had. “Rethink this.”

“There isn’t time. I’ll stop before I die, just get the people out. And if you find the ones behind this, lock them up—we need to figure out which pack they’re really from.”

“And if it’s Blood?” Wren demanded, shooting a glare at Alyx and Keena. Alyx had to grab Keena to stop her from going after the woman.

“Then wait for me to wake up, and I’ll deal with it.” I wrapped another barrier around myself, taking down the ones around the other women. Most of them were at least a little fireproof, and all of them were fast; they’d be fine.

“What do you mean, wake up?” Keena demanded.

“She’s going to use enough power to knock herself out,” Sable snapped back. “I’ll wait here with her.”

“No. We don’t trust any of you with her,” Keena shot.

I added a noise-canceling layer to the barrier over my skin so I could focus, and then began.

My hands lifted to the sky as I pushed my magic over my fingertips, freeing myself from every single drop I could spare. I didn’t have a ton, but it was going to be enough.

It had to be enough.

I started in a small area, focusing on the thin, glass-looking net I’d created. Rather than filtering physical objects, I filtered the one thing I knew fire needed to survive: oxygen.

It took me a few tries to make it work, but when it did, the net’s effect on the fire within was nearly instantaneous. The flames shrunk, and shrunk, until they vanished.

The shifters could survive a minute without oxygen; I could survive a minute without oxygen.

So, holding my breath, I pushed it wider. Further from me.

More fire flickered out.

I pushed my magic out further. Thinner. Wider.

I could see it growing and spreading out around me, shimmering like glass and dust and snowflakes. And it felt like magic.

But it wasn’t enough.

I peeled the barrier off my skin, forcing the rest of my magic into the net. And slowly but surely, the rest of the fire choked.

I could feel my energy draining into the magic as holding my breath grew difficult, but I could still see the smoke. I thought the fire was dead, but I wasn’t positive—and I had to keep my barrier up until I was positive.

I held it up as it drained me deeper, and deeper, until I was swaying on my feet and my eyelids were trying to force themselves down. It started to shrink, then, as my power faded, but still I held it.

There was a flash in the corner of my eye, and I looked over in time to see Wren running toward me.

My eyes caught on her hands—her claws.

Talons.

She crashed into me just as I snapped my power back to me like a rubber band, sucking in oxygenated air while covering my throat and chest.

I hit the ground hard, my head crashing to the dirt road beneath me as I lost consciousness.

13

I woke to the flap of dragon wings, and the feeling of falling. A scream tore through me as I threw another wimpy layer of magic around my barrier—a version of the bouncing magic I’d been teaching the Queen on the day she died.

Instead of smashing to the sand and, you know, breaking, my barrier took the impact and tossed me a few feet to the side.

My face hit the sand first, and then I rolled toward the water.

My head went under right as I sucked in air, and I scrambled to my hands and knees, choking and gasping and spitting saltwater. It burned like hell, but hurt a lot less than dying would’ve.

“Why won’t you just fucking die?” Wren snarled, stalking toward me. Her talons protruded out of her hand—a partial-shift, which I knew to be extremely uncomfortable for all shifters. That was why they rarely did it.

“I haven’t even really lived yet,” I said, through coughs of saltwater. “What the hell, Wren? You allied with the Tidals?”

Her eyes were crazed. “Tendira will be better off without the Queens. Our beasts will reign the way they were meant to.”

I made my way to my feet, my legs shaking as I fought the pain of exhaustion and betrayal. “You sound like you’re reading directly off their brainwashing script.”

“You haven’t seen what happens to the Queens, Mesa,” Wren’s voice cracked.

Had she completely lost her mind?

“The magic… it makes them weak. Powerless. Cina made sure they couldn’t fight back against the shifters—so that we would keep your pitiful magic alive. But it’s not right.”

“What’s not right is you trying to kill me,” I shot back. I had barely enough magic to cover my throat and chest, and couldn’t do shit against a shifter in a fight, but my fists clenched anyway.

“The exhaustion will overtake you soon. And then, I’ll end your line of magic for good.”

“Wow, that sounds fun,” I said dryly.

I didn’t take my eyes off her long enough to look around, but I didn’t think I’d been out more than a minute or two. And there was only one place she could’ve taken me that my other guards wouldn’t have known how to find—her lair.

“It’s not fun, but it’s what has to be done.”

I flipped her my middle finger, trying to rile her up. The longer she kept talking, the more time she’d buy me. And the more time she bought me, the more likely chance I had that someone who wasn’t completely drained of power would show up and kick her ass. “I hope the beasts below throw a knife in your back over and over again when you leave this life, traitor.”

Her nostrils flared, her eyes darkening. “You of all people should understand; look at how much weaker you are than the rest of us. You can’t really believe the Blood Alpha wants you for anything more than your crown. You’re small, and weak, and mortal.”

She spat, “You have no muscle, and your eyes don’t change. Your smile is crooked, and one of your ears is larger than the other. You’re not treasure; you’re a fucking tool to get the power he wants. Why else would he burn the Royal Pack? Why else wouldn’t Alyx tell you his plan?”

I wanted to say I didn’t care about her words. That she could say anything, and it wouldn’t hurt me.

But every new thing she said was another blow to the heart.

It was the same thing I’d felt before—that I was unattractive, weak, and imperfect.

I’d worked through most of those thoughts and feelings. I loved who I was, what I was, and the way I looked.

But I’d never heard those words from someone I loved. Someone I thought loved me too, like a sister.

And it hurt.

I put on a brave face, of course—what other option was there? But those words wouldn’t be leaving me for a long, long time.

“Cruel words from a cruel woman. You’re the reason Cina lost her head—the reason I ran from the Royal Pack, and the reason I met Tuslan at all. Everything good and everything bad that’s happened to me, is because of you.”

I stepped toward her. I had to. I couldn’t play offense at that point, and my best defense was going to be to try to make her savage. Sure, then I’d have to fight a wolf or dragon instead of an insane woman, but at least then I’d know what I was dealing with.

“I’ve known you since you were an infant, Mesa. I know every look you wear—and that look means you think you’ve got me. You think you’ve figured something out. You think you’ll use your magic against me? Turn me savage?”

She sneered. “You’re too foolish to see that I’d welcome it; the quiet oblivion of freedom. You aren’t the only one who’s been trapped here, in this castle, on this land. But should you try anything, just remember… a Tidal never works alone. We come in waves, together, destroying everything in our path.”

“Cute speech,” I lifted my fist, feigning cheering for her. “Really, it’s impressive.” I saw movement from the corners of my eyes, and knew her true pack was coming.

And suddenly, her lair was looking a hell of a lot homier.

I was slower than her… but I was also closer.

And more desperate.

“You and your sarcasm, always hiding from the realities of—“ She cut herself off when I sprinted toward her lair. It was a sprawling beach house, with glass windows and walls that I knew wouldn’t hold up to any kind of attack.

But even glass walls were better than no walls.

Her talons sliced across my arm as I skidded through the doorway. A scream burst from my throat at the sharp heat of the pain. Her fingers wrapped around the injury, and she squeezed.

Tears leaked from my eyes as I threw my weight toward the inside of the house.

The movement shocked Wren enough to knock her off balance, and we crashed together. I kicked the door shut just as she slashed her claws at my throat.

They clanged against my barrier, bouncing off.

The impact was enough to make me dizzy though, as it drained more of what little energy I had left.

Soon, it wouldn’t be enough for any barrier.

“What happened to raw diamonds?” I demanded, my arm burning and bleeding as tears leaked from my eyes of their own accord. “You said beauty was within. That true beauty lies in a person’s potential. You said you believed in me—in us.”

I knew her words would only hurt me more, but if she was talking and feeling, she wasn’t killing me.

And I didn’t know how I’d get out if I was given another minute, but I knew I wanted to live for that minute.

Maybe with it, I could do something insanely stupid that just might keep me alive.

“I lied,” she snarled.

Yup. That hurt.

“Even if you were lying, I love you. I’m sorry for this.” I swiped my magic through the center of her beings, taking back the barrier that separated her wolf, human, and dragon.

And before my eyes, she went savage.

Instead of my beautiful, brilliant blonde guard, there was a honey-colored wolf.

I wanted to weep for her.

I would weep for her.

But I couldn’t do it until I was free.

And alive; definitely alive.

But how did a bleeding woman escape a savage wolf?

I had no idea.

The wolf’s jaws opened with another snarl, and I barely managed to roll away before her teeth snapped on my face.

I knew what I had to do—what my only real choice was.

But it was going to fucking hurt.

When I wanted to scare someone, I could cut off their air supply. I’d only done it a few times, but it was effective.

It wasn’t the most effective way to kill with my power, though.

I slipped my magic into her chest, straight through her veins, and wrapped my barrier around the pumping heart in her chest.

She lunged for me again, and with a silent cry, I made the invisible barrier around her heart real.

Savage Wren immediately buckled. Her knees crashed to the floor, and her head crashed into mine.

I fell backward as she landed on me, just as the other wolves broke through a window-wall.

Glass shattered, flying in every direction. A shard embedded in the thick wood floors beneath me. Had I not been so tired, I’d have screamed.

There were five other wolves, I knew, even though I only saw flashes of them. And as sick as it was, as horrific as it was, I knew it was me or them.

They were going to kill me if I didn’t end them first.

I’d never believed in violence… but sometimes there was no other choice.

While the wolves circled me, I slipped my shrinking magic into their chests one by one, and with a single motion, cut out their hearts from within.

My stomach rolled as the last man hit the ground.

If I’d been innocent before, I wasn’t any more.

Now, I was a killer.

A murderer.

A Blood Queen.

I army-crawled my torso out from under Wren’s furry body, then went up on my hands and knees and retched.

Nothing came out, other than the shards of my soul. They’d broken like the glass of the windows.

I’d found my traitor… but I’d lost my humanity.

The last of my barrier magic gave out and I collapsed to the ground, hoping my heart would stop beating just like theirs had.

“Beasts above and below,” Alyx murmured. A hand swept hair off my face, but I didn’t flinch. I was barely even awake, and didn’t think I could talk even if I’d tried.

Keena barked, “She’s fine. I can hear her heart beating, unlike the rest of these bastards’. Looks like she figured out a way to give them what they deserved.”

Something inside me broke again, curling up within itself.

Did anyone really deserve death?

What made me any better than them?

They’d wanted to kill me, but I was the one who had done the killing. My magic ended them—not the other way around.

“I wouldn’t call this ‘fine,’ Keena. You know as well as I do that your first kill doesn’t leave you fine.”

Keena growled. “She’ll be better off because of it.”

“Drop the tough bitch act for a second and have some empathy, alright?” Alyx’s voice was sharp. “I’m never going to get over killing Pade, and I’m positive that ending Rezzo fucked with you, so drop the act.”

Keena was silent for a moment. “Alright, geez. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. We just need to get her back to the desedra; the Phoenix girl may be able to heal her. Her heartbeat’s slower than it should be.”

“I think that’s normal, after killing someone you consider family. It was for me.”

“Yes, but you weren’t human. Her body breaks easier than ours.”

I didn’t want to be awake.

I wasn’t even sure I wanted to be alive, even though I’d fought so hard for that.

So I shut my eyes and let the darkness take me again.

“What happened?” Ellery snarled. “I trusted you two to—”

“We found your traitor,” Keena spat. “She threw three-dozen tidals at us. We killed them, but it took time. The fire was a diversion, to get her away from the rest of us. She managed to put the whole thing out, but it drained her, and your dragon took her when she was already weak.”

“Wren? Wren was the traitor?” Sable demanded.

“Holy shit,” Zeva breathed. “There’s no way she—”

Ellery seemed to kick into mama-mode “We can’t worry about that now. Put her down here, on the lounge. Sable, gather the rest of the Queen’s guards. Move, Keena. I need to check her barrier.”

“Like fucking hell,” Keena snapped. “We just saved her from one of you bitches.”

“She saved herself,” Alyx corrected. “But Keena has a point. None of you touch her; just tell us how to check the barrier.”

“Tap the skin on her throat, and over her chest. They protect the throat first, chest second, since shifters usually aim for the neck or heart,” Ellery explained quickly.

If someone touched me, I didn’t feel it.

“What are we trying to feel?” Alyx asked.

“It’ll be hard—if you tap, it’ll shove you away.”

“All I feel is skin.”

“Beasts,” Ellery huffed. “Okay, her barrier’s completely down. She must’ve exhausted all her magic, which means it’ll be a few days until she’s back on her feet. Maybe longer, since she’s still transitioning.”

“Why?” Alyx pressed.

“When a Queen burns out her energy, it’s like she’s starved her power for a few days. To get it back, it needs to be fed frequently—usually, with sleep.”

“The phoenix could heal her,” Keena argued. “When Tuslan’s done with the desedra, he’ll do it too. You already turned on the alarm to tell those bastards to get out now; he’ll be here soon.”

“It’s not a matter of healing, it’s a matter of resting. A phoenix can heal and make you feel refreshed, but they can’t actually create new energy.”

No one questioned Ellery. Without Cina’s guards there, she was the Queen expert.

“What do we do, then?” Alyx asked. “To help her.”

“Protect her,” Ellery said. “That’s all we can do.”

The darkness returned to me, and I embraced it with both arms.

14

I was in and out throughout the next few hours, half-conscious at most each time I woke up. At one point, someone was spooning broth into my mouth. At another point, someone was covering me in a blanket.

Darkness had descended when I heard a dragon roar. The sound was chilling, because it was familiar.

“Who do I need to kill?” Tuslan snarled at someone a moment later.

“Back away until your temper is under control, Blood Alpha,” Ellery snarled back at him.

I heard a crash, and then there was a flash of light before a pair of dragon talons wrapped around me, and I passed out again.

I woke up in a massive, soft bed in a room that smelled of salty… dirt.

Salty dirt?

Peering around, I found lamps similar to those that dotted the streets of the Blood Capitol, but they were embedded in the walls and only giving off enough light to barely make out my surroundings. The walls were dark, but my eyes caught on a thick, oddly-shaped line on the wall a little to my left.

My feet hit the ground, curiosity taking ahold of me.

My legs wobbled, and I grabbed the bed to stay upright while they adjusted. My body felt heavy and slow, and my barrier magic was layered over my skin so thinly I could barely feel it.

My chest hurt when I started to think about why, so I pushed away the memories and thoughts and shuffled to the line in the wall.

My lips parted when I saw it up close. It wasn’t just a weird-shaped line; it was a thick strip of what looked like actual gold, and it was inside the wall. A part of the wall.

My fingers lifted to the gold, and I slowly dragged them over the rough stone. I had no way to know if it was real, but considering the man who had brought me to wherever I was, I assumed it was actual gold.

Actual gold, inside the wall.

It didn’t look like something any shifter or human craftsman could’ve made. It looked too… genuine. Which meant I was probably underground.

I sniffed the air again.

Dirt and salt. Maybe I was in a cave near the ocean?

My feet carried me around the room as I continued to avoid my thoughts and memories and questions. The space was large, but not massive, and the more I walked, the more veins of gold I found in the walls, some of the veins thick and others thin.

The gigantic bed was the only thing in that room other than a small bathroom and a nightstand that looked to be crafted out of the same gold-embedded stone that lined the walls.

On that nightstand, I found three plates loaded with food. One had fruits and vegetables that looked like they were barely ripe enough to eat. They’d last a few days if I needed them to. Another held a stack of different types of jerky, wrapped up to keep it fresh. The third had breads and cheeses, and those looked to be sealed in some kind of thick wrapping I’d never seen before.

My stomach rumbled, so I grabbed a piece of fruit and took it with me as I walked toward the stairs I’d seen on one side of the room.

My awe grew as I descended the wide stairs. Lamps lined the space, making the long veins of gold shine as they stretched over my head and down the halls lining the staircase. The stairs had to have been carved in, and the stone had been buffed smooth.

It would’ve been cold beneath my toes, I assumed, but Tuslan had put some thick black socks on my feet at some point. He’d also changed me into simple, soft black pants and a lightweight bandeau, both of which were slightly too big for me, as well as an ultra-soft fuzzy black robe that I thought had to be made out of a cloud. It kept me warm, and the air was chilly enough to make my nose cold so that was quite the feat.

I didn’t let myself ponder on the fact that to change my clothes, he had to have gotten me naked.

Reaching the bottom of the staircase, I found myself in a similar-sized room to the one I’d woken up in. It smelled saltier, though, and instead of a bed, it housed a comfortable-looking living area. The ground was covered in thick carpets, and couches and chairs sprawled around the room.

The main difference in that room was a door against the far wall—and it looked like natural light was shining underneath it.

My feet carried me there. I wanted to know if my guess was right; if I was in a cave of some kind.

The door swung open, and my jaw dropped as I stepped out onto what looked like a porch carved out of stone. In front of me, as far as I could see, were jagged cliffs jutting out of the water.

The cave seemed well-hidden. Even the porch I stood on was partly covered by massive shards of stone jutting over the view, cutting it into pieces. Those ones didn’t have gold in them, but the shape of them matched everything around me.

The ocean was mild, despite the choppy cliffs and jagged rocks jutting out of the water for what looked like miles in every visible direction. I’d seen something similar depicted along the Blood Land’s coast on the Queen’s map, but I couldn’t remember where it was exactly.

When I’d looked my fill, I stepped back inside the cave and closed the door. I doubted anyone could find me, but there was a chance Tuslan’s lead wolves would know where this cave was. If he returned, or they tracked me down, I at least wanted the warning of hearing the door open.

There was another wide staircase in another corner of the room, and it led down, so I walked to that and descended again.

My lips parted at the sheer quantity of gold inside the walls along that staircase. There was more gold than stone; it had to be worth a fortune or six.

I didn’t think I’d be any more surprised when I saw the next level of the cave, but I was wrong.

What I found wasn’t a cave; it was a cavern. It stretched further than I could even see, and it didn’t hold couches or beds or furniture of any kind.

It held gold. And jewels. And covered paintings. And statues. And fine clothing. And so much more.

I stared out at the sprawling space in front of me, loaded with everything that could even possibly be considered treasure. I’d already seen Tuslan’s lair; this time, he’d brought me to his hoard.

I sat down on one of the stairs, curling my knees up to my chest, and took a bite out of my peach.

Peaches didn’t grow in Tendira; they were a human fruit. A delicious one. Which made them expensive.

But clearly, Tuslan wasn’t worried about money. Or power. Or… anything.

Anything, except me.

Maybe that shouldn’t have made me feel special, but it did.

I took another bite. Bits of the fruit caught between my teeth, but that was the last thing I had the energy to worry about.

First…

Wren.

Just thinking about her made my whole body droop a bit.

The words she’d said, the knowledge that she had never actually cared about me…

The weight of it all was heavy enough to crush my damned soul.

I knew she was trying to hurt me; I did. I knew she wanted me to be weak, to make a mistake. She’d wanted my barrier to fall so she could end my life.

But I knew her well enough to know that at least some of what she’d said was the truth.

Maybe more than some.

Beasts, that hurt.

Setting the peach in the space between my knees, I reached up and pulled the earring out of one of my ears. I lifted it to my eyes, studying the stone. The raw diamond Wren had given me, after she found me stressing about all the ways my body was different from the shifters’.

She’d told me that some people would look at the stone and see a rough rock, while others would see a diamond. That I could choose which I saw when I looked at my body.

My heart clenched a bit more.

It was just a damned rock.

It didn’t sparkle or shine, like its cut counterpart. Whether or not that specific stone could even possibly become beautiful at the hands of a gem cutter was up in the air.

The earrings had been meant to represent me. Attractive to those who chose to realize that I was more beautiful than I looked on the outside.

But Wren was wrong.

I wasn’t a damned rock that was only beautiful to some people; I was a fucking diamonte, through and through.

I pulled the other earring out, putting them both in one hand before grabbing my peach in the other and heading back up the stairs.

My socked-feet padded the cold tile.

Part of me wanted to dissect everything Wren had said on that beach. Part of me thought I should probably question the rest of my relationships, now. That I should be able to admit that I most-likely assumed I was more loved than I actually was.

Part of me wanted to believe that even Tuslan and Keena and Alyx and the rest of the Blood Pack were just using me, the way Wren said they were.

At the very least, I didn’t think I had romanticized my friendship with the Blood Pack. That Alyx and Keena were my friends. That Paik and Tomo were too, though in a different way.

That Tuslan’s feelings for me were real.

If I questioned everything I thought I knew, I’d start making even more, stupider mistakes. I’d make myself regret things.

Mostly, Tuslan.

Because I really, really wanted Tuslan’s feelings to be real.

And he had dropped me off, alone, in his hoard. Which required trust, to say the least. I didn’t even know where the bastard had gone.

Since there was food on the nightstand, I assumed he’d gone back to my castle. That I’d been unconscious for the feast day, and he’d had to leave to get back for another round of the desedra.

I reached the top of the stairs and walked right back to that stony, shaded balcony. There were no stairs to get down; Tuslan would never need them, and it would probably give away the epic hiding place he’d found or created for his hoard.

My shoulder rested against a jutting shard of smooth, deep gray stone, and I stared out at the ocean. The crashing waves, the dragging currents, the rocky cliffs…

They were incredible.

The view was incredible.

I liked pretty things, but looking out at the ocean, I was forced to accept that it was far more beautiful than anything in Tuslan’s hoard.

I remained there, watching the ocean for a bit before my eyes flooded with tears when a mental image of Wren’s body forced itself back into my mind. I pushed it away, but the damage was done.

And I’d done the damage.

For the first time in my life, I’d killed a shifter. A creature that could’ve lived forever, if not for me.

And not just a creature—a person.

I had killed a person.

Maybe I was a monster.

Whether I was or not, Wren was dead. And our friendship—our sisterhood, or family bond, or whatever the hell you wanted to call it—had died even before she had.

I lifted the fist that held the raw diamonds to my chest, pressing it to my heart.

I wouldn’t say goodbye to Wren; I knew she was already gone, and that I was the reason for that.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. I didn’t know whether I was talking to the gems, or the sister I’d never really had, or to the ocean, or the universe. Or maybe even to the beasts above and below.

A tear slipped out of my watery eyes and trailed down my cheek.

I opened my mouth to say something else, and then closed it when I realized I had nothing else to say.

I was sorry, and that was all.

Lifting my fist off my chest, I pulled my arm back and threw the earrings out into the ocean. Without shifter eyesight, I lost track of them almost the moment they left my hand, but I didn’t care.

I didn’t want them anymore, or need them anymore.

I’d relied on my guards. I’d trusted them, and loved them.

And now… now, I didn’t.

I finally forced myself to acknowledge the truth about my relationships with them.

They weren’t my sisters, or my friends. They weren’t my family, or my pack. They were my guards.

They protected me because they were paid to do so, and because they were afraid like so many others in Tendira that if they didn’t, someone would kill me and they would go savage.

We weren’t a group of friends.

We weren’t a bunch of sisters.

I was the Queen, and they were my protectors.

And that was probably all they would ever be.

Zeva had hit on Tuslan even while she knew he was pursuing me. She couldn’t believe he had feelings for me, because she thought I was just a human. We weren’t sisters; we were barely even friends.

Sable was brilliant, and she answered questions about shifters and Tendira that none of the others would even consider answering for me. But when I asked about her life, she avoided my questions. I knew almost nothing about who she was outside of being my guard.

Cina’s ladies had always sided with her, even when she made up shitty punishments that no little girl should have to deal with, human or shifter. They obviously weren’t my friends, or family.

And Ellery… well, she was the one I still trusted the most. She had never pretended to be my friend. She was the motherly guard, and she did what she felt she had to in order to keep me safe.

Strangely enough, she was the only one I thought might actually care about me if I wasn’t the Queen.

But Tuslan and his lead wolves… they were my friends.

Hell, maybe they were even becoming my family.

They liked me before they knew my title, and they still seemed to like me now that they knew it. They’d never hidden shit from me; when they didn’t want to talk about something, they said so.

They cared about me.

They included me.

And despite what the phoenix girl had said, I knew they hadn’t betrayed me by setting fire to my pack. Alyx had been hiding something, when we were under that canopy, but I trusted that it wasn’t a betrayal.

I trusted them.

Especially Tuslan; I really, really trusted him.

Beasts, I hoped he won the desedra.

15

I stared out at the ocean a bit longer and finished the rest of my peach before shuffling back inside, shutting the door once again. My body was exhausted, my magic weak and drained. I was sure Tuslan had already tried to heal me, but I knew that exhausted magic couldn’t be replenished by other magic.

Not even the Blood Alpha’s phoenix magic.

My stomach rumbled again as I sat back down on the side of the bed, staring at the table covered in food.

I didn’t let myself wonder what would happen to me if Tuslan lost. If he… died.

Beasts, no, I wasn’t considering that.

My feet were getting cold even with the thick socks on, so I stuffed them back under the pile of blankets on the bed. I frowned when I realized it felt warm, so I stuffed my hand inside to check.

Yep, warm.

Those were some seriously impressive blankets.

I tucked my feet under the blankets and then tugged my socks off so my feet could enjoy the blissful warmth and fuzziness.

With my feet bathing in glorious heat, I stretched back to the table and grabbed the plates of meat, bread, and cheese. Setting them beside me, I dug through the jerky. They all looked so similar that I didn’t have a clue what was what, but I didn’t really care anyway. So, I unwrapped some and took a bite.

I’d only had jerky a few times, but I found it surprisingly delicious every time.

I made quick work of the meat before opening up a small loaf of soft white bread. After I finished that, I looked around for water, but didn’t find any.

I guess Tuslan couldn’t be completely perfect.

I ate a small apple to clean my mouth before snuggling up with the blankets. When I woke up, I hoped Tuslan would be back with news about my pack, and the desedra.

Between my physical exhaustion and the drain on my magic, I fell asleep almost instantly.

I woke up what felt like a long time later. The room was colder than before, and I didn’t see my dragon, phoenix, leviathan, wolf, or human-shaped heater anywhere.

My bleary eyes swept the room. The lights were dimmer than before, making me wonder if they were on some type of timer.

My stomach growled, but the food was exactly where I’d left it.

Tuslan hadn’t been back.

The ball of stress that my stomach often housed bloomed. I knew I was safe in Tuslan’s cave, but I didn’t have water, or a way off the cliff to get some.

“He’s going to be fine,” I told the blankets over my feet.

At least they were still the warmest things on the damned planet.

“He’s probably still fighting in the desedra,” I added.

I searched for my socks beneath the blankets, using my feet. My feet came up empty, so I crawled into the blankets like a toddler and hunted the socks down. When I found one, I whooped.

The other one seemed to have vanished, but I slipped the one on my right foot.

At least half of my toes would stay somewhat warm.

I slid off the bed, swearing when my naked foot met the ground. The floor legitimately felt like ice.

I ignored my poor icy foot, though, because even though my body was exhausted, I needed more than just sleep; I needed time to recover. And I didn’t want to sit there staring at the wall with all that time.

I’d seen what looked like an assload of bookshelves off to one side of the treasure cavern, so I figured Tuslan had at least a few books worth reading. Most of them were probably so ancient and valuable that I’d feel shitty for even touching them, but I didn’t think he’d be pissed at me for reading them.

Books were meant for reading, after all.

“I’ll be back for you,” I called out to the food as I hurried toward the stairs. My legs were still quivering a bit, but not enough for more than a passing notice.

I stopped in the living area to look around, and sighed when I noticed it was still empty.

What the hell was I going to do if Tuslan didn’t show up soon?

The Royal Pack needed me. I knew I should’ve already figured out a way back to my castle so I could help them, but I didn’t have wings. Or any other way to escape.

Halfway down the second staircase, I had to stop and switch my sock over to the other foot. When I set that one down, I swore again, cursing myself for losing a sock, and cursing the bed for eating said sock, and cursing Tuslan for building his hoard in a damned salty ice cave.

My foot burned and throbbed until it was numb, like the other one.

Nearing the end of the staircase, I peered out at the treasure, trying to spot the bookshelves. They were a long way away, but worth it.

Probably.

Hopefully.

Shivering, I pulled the fuzzy robe I had on a bit tighter, burying my face in the fabric as I surged through the cavern.

I passed so many priceless things it wasn’t even funny. Some of them, I could tell were priceless even though they were hideous.

Why were expensive things so often ugly?

When I finally made it to the first bookshelf, my face was as numb as my damned feet.

My eyes scanned the spines of the books, and I grimaced.

History of Tendira.

Tale of the Queens’ War.

Mapmaking: a true art.

Blech.

Those definitely wouldn’t distract me from freezing to death or worrying about my pack.

I moved to the next bookshelf, finding more and more of the same kind. I guess history books were good treasures to have if we ever needed to understand something that had happened before, but they weren’t exactly light reading.

Finally, on the very last of so damn many bookshelves, I found the fiction books. Fantasies about elves who rode dragons, romances about teenagers who fell madly into lust and killed themselves and others over it… Classics, that everyone had heard of.

With a sigh, I grabbed a romance book I’d heard about but never read. It was well-known, but not my typical sweet, hot romance. I preferred kind men with large muscles and quirky women who were perfect because of their imperfections. And I liked it when their romance felt not just like romance, but like friendship.

I guess that was why I liked Tuslan. Because talking to him didn’t feel like talking to a lover; it felt like talking to a friend.

I grabbed a few more books—the dragon one, and one about a really big chunk of fruit—and rushed back to the stairs. My odds of freezing to death felt like they were doubling by the damned minute.

By the time I got back to the bed, I was positive I’d never been that cold in my life.

I dropped the pile of books on the bedside table and ripped off my one sock, then shoved my feet back under the blanket. It was so warm under there that my toes tingled painfully.

Shivering so bad my teeth were chattering, I muttered, “screw it,” and dove back under the blanket. For some reason, with the heavy weight of it covering my whole body, I warmed up much faster.

Still, it took a while.

When I was finally thawed enough to risk the outside air, I stuck my hand out and felt around until I grabbed a package of jerky. After I pulled it under the blanket with me, I shoved my hand back out in search of some kind of bread.

And then I proceeded to eat under the blankets like I was really, truly insane.

But hey, at least I was warm.

I read until I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore and fell into a dream-filled sleep. My dreams starred the characters from the story, and the villains of my own life.

Now that I’d seen more horrors, my nightmares reflected them.

I woke up panting and sweating and terrified, and still alone.

The lights were brighter than they’d been when I fell asleep, telling me it was morning—or at least closer to morning than before.

My mouth was dry, and there was still no sign of Tuslan or anyone else… which meant it was time to start considering how I was going to get out of there.

If I waited much longer, my body would get weaker, and then my chances of dying during my escape would skyrocket.

So I had to go.

Or at least, think about going for the next few hours while I cooked up a hopefully-decent and probably-stupid plan.

I searched for my socks once again, but didn’t even find one that time. Deciding to be quick, I slid out of bed and groaned at the painful iciness of the stone.

“This room needs rugs. And a fireplace—a massive fireplace,” I mumbled to myself, knowing that an underground fireplace was a shitty idea.

The warmth might be worth it, though.

I hurried down the stairs, striding out to the balcony. Stepping outside, my gaze landed on a beautiful sunrise that stole my breath. Purples, oranges, and pinks melded in a fiery show of beauty that made me reconsider my plan to leave.

It was quite a bit warmer out there, I realized, as my half-frozen toes began to thaw while I stood outside and stared at Tendira’s beauty.

When the colors faded and the sun burned brighter, I stuck my head out one of the slits between the cave’s rock cover. My eyes strained as I attempted to see details in the cliff beside me. I looked for some kind of a hand-hold, or maybe a path that just happened to be carved into the rock for the sake of my survival. Unfortunately, the cliff was almost completely smooth. I didn’t see even one dip in the rock that I could try to curve a few fingers around.

I checked the other side too, but found more of the same.

So trying to escape would be the equivalent of throwing myself off a cliff, or down a slide made of rock. Which is to say, it would kill me.

“Dammit, Tuslan,” I complained, though obviously the man was nowhere to be found. “Couldn’t you have picked a less-hidden place to hide your hoard?”

With a sigh, I sat down on my ass and stared out at the ocean for a bit. While I stared, I tugged at my magic, stirring it and getting it moving. It was slow and there wasn’t a lot, but it was coming back.

It couldn’t have been more than twenty or thirty minutes before I heard the whooshing of air.

I shot to my feet, peering out through the gap in the rocks in an attempt to see who it was, or what it was.

A glittering red dragon spiraled down toward the ocean, and my lips parted as he dove down into the water between two massive, jagged rocks.

I stared at the space he’d disappeared, watching the water for any sign of a dragon or leviathan.

The waves crashed against the rocks, but otherwise didn’t part again.

The stress-ball in my stomach swelled, along with my throat, as I waited.

All of the sudden, something wet touched the back of my arm.

I screamed, spinning and throwing all of the magic I had on my skin between myself and the wet thing.

When I saw my white wolf, dripping wet and with a heaving chest, I yelled. “Beasts, Tuslan! We’ve talked about this—you have to walk louder!”

He wasn’t listening to me though. His wet nose—which I figured was the thing that scared the shit out of me—met my neck, then my armpit. I tried to move away and swat at him, but he was relentless, sniffing all over my damned body.

Halfway through, I quit bothering trying to escape.

“You could do this in human form,” I reminded him.

He ignored me, though my mind immediately began conjuring images of Tuslan’s human nose between my breasts, at my belly-button, and lower.

Shit.

“I need you to shift and tell me what happened,” I told him, before my body flushed and my scent gave away exactly which direction my mind had gone.

He ignored me again.

And that was weird; he never ignored me.

I peered at his eyes, making sure this wasn’t some other random wolf checking me for new scents or something, but the eyes were right—it was definitely my Blood Alpha.

Why was he acting so weird?

When he was done sniffing me, his nose met my back and he used the contact to propel me toward the staircase that led up to the bedroom.

“We need to talk, Tuslan. I don’t have any water—I need to leave here.”

A ferocious snarl met my ears, scaring the shit out of me again.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I demanded.

He kept pushing me toward the bedroom, ignoring the question.

Did he not want me to have water? That was pretty damn unlikely.

Which meant he either didn’t want to talk to me, or didn’t want me to leave.

I was betting it was the latter.

“Stop, Tuslan. Just—oomph.” The breath got knocked out of me as he gently knocked me off balance, catching my weight with his gigantic head. He used the contact to drag me up the stairs so fast I didn’t have time to climb off.

He dropped me on the bed, pulled the blankets up to my chin, and then disappeared back down the stairs.

16

“You can’t just leave,” I yelled after him, growing a bit desperate on top of my confusion. “We need to talk! And I need water, or I’ll die. Humans are like plants—we need water and sunshine!”

There was no response.

Exasperated, I climbed out of bed and headed toward the stairs again.

Maybe I could catch him before he left.

He caught me, though—and growled angrily when he saw that I wasn’t where he’d put me.

A big backpack like the one I’d packed for my trip from Blood to Royal hung off his neck from one of the straps.

His nose met the center of my chest and he used it to propel me backward to the bed.

He dragged the blankets over me again before stepping back and ducking his head to remove the backpack from around his neck. I expected him to shift to open it, but his teeth tore easily through the fabric. He pulled out a tall bottle of water, and I could’ve drooled.

If I wasn’t, you know, dehydrated.

Holding it between his teeth carefully, he walked it over. I took it, uncapping it and drinking greedily.

Another growl met my ears—this one sounded like a warning.

“You’re worried I’ll drink too much?” I asked, staring at him incredulously. “You’ve got to be kidding.”

He growled again.

Not kidding.

“Fine.” I capped it and set the bottle down beside me on the bed. “Shift, so we can talk.”

He didn’t even bat a damn eye. Instead, he dove back into the bag. He came out with more food—jerky, fruit, and bread—and then a set of my comfortable golden clothing.

He dropped them on the bed in front of me, and nodded toward them with his head.

I glared at him. “If you want me to change, you have to change too. Shift and tell me what’s going on, Tuslan.”

His lips peeled back in a silent snarl.

“Are you trying to scare me? If so, it’s absolutely ridiculous. I know you’re not going to hurt me. Even if you wanted to, which you don’t, I have enough magic back to protect myself.”

At least, I had enough magic to protect myself for a few minutes. Any longer than that might be too long. 

He stared at me.

I stared back.

When it became clear that for whatever reason, he wasn’t going to shift, I dropped the golden clothing on the sparkling-clean floor.

He snapped his teeth, but I knew he was trying to intimidate me. What I didn’t understand, was why.

“If you’re going to act like an animal, you can stay on the floor like one,” I snapped back. “I’m not someone you can ‘Blood Alpha’ into doing what you want. Respect goes both ways. You trapped me in this damned cave; the least you can do is shift and tell me why.”

He growled again, but that time it didn’t sound like a threat.

He sniffed around the room for a few minutes while I glared at him before he finally came back and dropped to his belly on the icy tile. The temperature didn’t seem to bug him—though he did have fire in his veins.

My anger faded when he fell asleep almost as soon as he was sure the room was safe. Quiet snores rattled his gigantic chest, his head perched on his forelegs the way it always was when he’d slept in front of my door in the Blood capitol.

I watched him for a few minutes, trying to decide what was going on with him.

He was always possessive and protective—he had warned me he’d have a hard time controlling himself if I got hurt again. And the last time, he’d flown me to his tower.

This time, I’d gotten much closer to death.

I tried to remember what he’d said when he warned me that he wouldn’t be able to control himself if I got hurt, but I couldn’t come up with the exact words.

A soft whine escaped him, and my attention jerked back to Tuslan. I saw his leg twitch, and noticed his body quivering as another whine slipped out of him.

Was he having a nightmare?

That couldn’t be right, could it? The fierce, strong Blood Alpha couldn’t have nightmares.

But then again, you had to reach a breaking point to gain a new form. And Tuslan had many forms.

A louder, sadder whine slipped out of him, and I immediately felt shitty for being cruel earlier.

Maybe he wasn’t trying to control me.

Maybe he was just…scared.

I slipped off the bed without pause, kneeling beside Tuslan on the cold tile. My arms wrapped around his furry neck, my forehead meeting the side of his head.

“Tuslan,” I whispered. “It’s okay. Come sleep on the bed with me.”

A soft whine slipped from him again, and he licked the side of my face before lifting us both up. He set me back on the mattress before climbing up himself, and by some miracle, the bed took his weight just fine.

He pulled the blankets over my legs before slipping beneath them with me and licking my face once again.

As sweet as it was, it didn’t seem…human. At all.

When I thought about it, nothing he’d done since he’d arrived had seemed human.

Which was odd.

Very odd.

I could usually tell he was the same old Tuslan regardless of the form he was in, but this time, I couldn’t.

My magic carefully slipped into his consciousness as I searched for the place all of his forms met. I found them—all five of those suckers. All five were the same size, which was a good thing, as far as I knew.

Slipping back out, my fingers slowly stroked his head as I considered what else the problem could be. Tuslan could kick ass no matter what form he was in… but each of his forms had their strongest traits that contributed to his personality. The dragon was the part of him that loved luxury. The wolf was the part of him that protected those around him—and possessed, too.

I hadn’t really figured out the phoenix or leviathan, though. Or the human.

But if the beasts were the parts that protected and possessed and provided, then I supposed it might make sense that the human had taken the back seat when everything went to shit.

His massive body trembled against me, and I rolled partway so I was giving him a whole-body hug. He was warm, insanely warm, and I absolutely loved it.

And I wanted him to feel better. Nightmares were the worst.

He quieted with the contact, but every few minutes, quivered or whined. To remain asleep through whatever he was dreaming, I knew he had to be completely and utterly exhausted.

So instead of getting angry, or pushing him, I held him.

I whispered quiet comforts—making sure he knew that I was there, and that I was okay.

I’d figure out what happened to my pack when Tuslan woke up. I trusted he’d figured out a way to take care of them for me while he had me hidden away in his hoard, and that he’d saved as many as he could. Tuslan valued life; I believed that firmly.

At some point during the day, I fell asleep curled up with my furry white wolf.

I woke up when I heard a door close.

My eyes were drowsy and confused, my body deliciously warm as I looked around the room.

Where Tuslan should’ve been, was a pillow.

A damned pillow.

There was only one door in the hoard, and I knew exactly where it led:

Out.

My feet hit the freezing tile without a question as I ran through the cave. I nearly tripped on my way down the stairs, but I caught myself on the gold-streaked walls. My toes went numb as I flung the door open, and my eyes caught on a speck of shimmering red in the dark, star-studded distance.

Tuslan.

“Dammit,” I groaned. “Beasts, Red. I’ve got enough magic back to keep myself alive.”

I knew he was already too far away to hear me, though.

Slamming the door shut, I shuffled back up the stairs. The only way I could possibly leave the cave was through whatever water-entrance Tuslan had used when he showed up, but logic told me it was far enough under the water that my human lungs and limbs couldn’t carry me through it before I died.

I had drinking water now; I’d just have to wait until Tuslan returned.

Making it back to the bed, I climbed underneath the blankets and covered my cold face. It was still night and I was officially stuck for another day or two, so I closed my eyes and waited for sleep to take me again.

The next time I woke, the lights were at their brightest. It was the middle of the day, and my stomach was making its hungry displeasure very clear.

I snacked on some of the foods. I knew it had to be another desedra day; otherwise, Tuslan wouldn’t have bothered leaving during the night.

The competition ran itself, so I doubted my absence was really a problem. The bastards were all fighting for my magic, not me, anyway.

After I ate and drank, I decided to check out the water-entrance. I knew it had to be somewhere in the treasure cavern, but that place was massive. I’d seen my socks on the side table though; Tuslan had found them, somehow, before he left.

That was sweet, but I was still pissed about being abandoned.

I tugged the socks on and headed down toward the cavern. With those suckers covering my feet, I couldn’t even feel the cold.

I’d already seen what was in the cavern on the side of the bookshelves, though there had been more stuff past them, so I decided to head left instead.

I must’ve been walking for an hour or two before I finally reached the back of the cave. I’d been watching the walls, looking for any sign of water, but found nothing.

Continuing along the walls, I headed toward the side that housed the bookshelves. Halfway to the other side, I noticed a crack in the stone.

It was a thick crack, and looked smooth.

Curiosity pulled me over, and I grinned triumphantly when I found what I was looking for.

Much like the jagged barriers hiding the cave’s porch, an outcropping of rock concealed the entrance to a bathroom-sized pool.

It was wide and asymmetrical, with a rough border, but smelled like the sea. The water moved gently within it, and my curiosity pushed me to throw caution to the wind and jump inside.

Instead, I crouched beside it and dipped a hand in to test the temperature.

“Beasts,” I hissed, ripping my hand away and shaking off the water. It was even colder than the damned tile.

Even if I could’ve swum through the entirety of the cave, my body would’ve frozen or gone into shock or something before I made it to the surface.

I played with the idea of using an insulated barrier to keep myself warm and some sort of oxygen-holding barrier around my head so I could breathe. It might work… but without Tuslan there to drag me back to the surface if it didn’t, I knew it was a terrible idea.

With a disappointed sigh, I sat down on the cold floor and stared at the pool of water. I should’ve brought a snack with me.

Tuslan wouldn’t return until after the desedra, which meant the earliest he’d be back was sometime in the middle of the night. When he was back, I’d let him know in no uncertain terms that I wasn’t staying in his cave any longer, but until then, I knew I should probably get some rest and eat some more food.

I didn’t get up right away though, remaining where I was and watching the gentle sway of the water. I wasn’t sure why it moved, or where it was moving to, but it was peaceful.

When the cold seeped in through the thin clothing over my legs—my fuzzy robe was still keeping most of my torso warm—I stood back up and headed back to the stairs.

It was a long walk, and by the time I finally made it back, I buried myself in the warm blankets with food and then crashed.

17

Soft fur brushed my cheek, and I rolled toward the source of softness and heat. My eyes opened just a crack, and I found Tuslan getting comfortable in the bed beside me, still in his wolf form.

“Tuslan,” I murmured, my arm draping over his back.

He licked my face.

“We need to talk.”

He licked me again before scooting as close as possible and then dropping his head down on the bed facing away from me.

Apparently he didn’t want to talk.

My stomach rumbled and he growled, spinning back toward me.

His lips curled in a snarl, and I narrowed my eyes at him. “I’ve been sleeping, Red. You don’t get to ditch me alone in an icy cave for days and then growl at me for sleeping instead of eating.”

The snarl vanished.

A soft whine escaped him, and he licked my face before leaning over me. He grabbed a few packs of jerky between his teeth and then dropped them on me before grabbing some bread and fruit, too.

“Thanks.” I rubbed the side of his neck, and he licked my face again before plopping back down beside me.

He was snoring almost instantly.

I ate quietly. The man was clearly exhausted, and I’d been stuck there for so many days that letting him sleep a few more hours probably wouldn’t make much of a difference. It was the middle of the night, anyway.

My body was finally recovering, too. I thought with a little more rest and sleep, I’d be back to where I’d been before I overexerted myself.

With my stomach full, I put the rest of the food back and snuggled up with my wolf, falling asleep with my body draped over Tuslan’s furry warmth.

The next time I woke up, my face was pressed to warm skin.

Soft snores accompanied the steady rise and fall of the body beneath my cheek.

I wrestled my eyes open and found Tuslan asleep on his stomach, with me snuggled up against his bare back.

Beasts, he was gorgeous.

I carefully peeled my face off of him, followed by my body. He stirred when I slipped off the bed—still wearing my socks that time, since I’d learned from my mistake the last time I took them off.

My feet carried me to the bathroom. After I used the facilities, I opened the door up and stopped in the doorway when I found Tuslan sitting up in bed, all of his attention trained on me.

My teeth trapped my bottom lip as I watched him, too. He didn’t look like he was struggling to remain human or anything. “Are you back?”

“For now.” He continued staring at me, his expression intense. “What happened on the beach?”

I knew I didn’t have to tell him.

He’d be pissed, but he’d survive. Hell, he’d probably even let it go eventually.

I could choose to push him away. Keeping quiet would be a good method to do so.

He might not win the desedra, after all. He might lose, and I might have my heart broken.

But after everything that had happened, everything I’d learned, that possibility didn’t seem to matter as much.

I might only have a few more days or weeks with Tuslan, but maybe I could be okay with that. Maybe that could be long enough.

Opening my mouth, I said, “I’ll tell you, but you offered me a story for a story.”

His lips lifted in the tiniest hint of a smile. Since he’d been in beast form for days, that felt like a win. “I suppose that’s fair.”

“It’s extremely fair,” I corrected him, walking back to the bed. “You have to snuggle with me while we talk, though. It’s cold in here.”

His gaze softened. “There’s nothing I’d like more.” He pulled the blankets back as I sat down, then tugged them over me and dragged me closer to him as he lowered us both to lay on our sides.

His body engulfed mine, holding my front to his as he lowered his chin to meet the top of my head.

“I got my phoenix form after a bunch of Fringe guys jumped me one day,” he murmured. “I’m sure it sounds silly, now that you know me, but I was still young then. I did stupid things—too many of them. The Fringe guys beat the shit out of me and left me for dead. I knew the only way to survive was to become a phoenix so I could heal, so with the last of my energy, I shifted.”

“And then there were four,” I whispered.

He chuckled softly. “Exactly.” His hand stroked down my hair.

It was my turn. I’d had time to process everything but saying it out loud would make it feel more… real. “Wren tried to kill me when I finished putting out the fire, but I blocked her with most of my remaining power. It knocked me out since my magic was so close to burning out. While I was out, she flew me to her lair and tried to kill me again. I tried to hide in the building, but she followed me in. It was her or me; she wasn’t going to stop until I was dead. I had to use a barrier around her heart to kill her—and had to do the same to the others who attacked with her, too.”

He murmured, “I didn’t know you could do that.”

“Probably because I’m a weak, emotionally-fragile Queen.”

The words didn’t upset him. “You know I’ve never believed that about you.”

“I know. I just… I never wanted to use my magic for that. Barrier magic is meant to protect and help, not kill.” I let out a soft sigh. “When we were on the beach, after Wren took me there, she said some pretty terrible things. It shouldn’t have hurt, but it did. I like myself the way I am, I just… wasn’t ready to hear things like that from someone I thought cared about me. It hurt. I hurt. I just…”

I shook my head against his chest, squeezing my eyes closed. “No one ever loves me for me. They’re only here for me because I’m the Queen. They’re not my friends; they’re my guards, and they get paid to be there. I forgot that, and I shouldn’t have.”

Tuslan’s chest rumbled unhappily. “Cina isolated you on purpose, Mesa. She was grooming you to mate with an abusive bastard. I haven’t figured out why or how, but I think she rigged the past desedras.”

My eyebrows lifted in alarm. “What? Why?”

“I’m working on it.” His arms tightened on me. “And she’s not here anymore, so you don’t need to worry about that. I’m going to win. The competition has changed, but our plan has changed too.”

My chest tightened. “What does that mean?”

“The other packs have teamed up against us. When the Tidals claimed they were my pack and dressed in black while they burned yours to the ground, it made our allies question our loyalty. They refused to back out of the competition, like we planned for them to.”

“Beasts,” I whispered. “Was that what Alyx was keeping a secret about?”

“Yes. We didn’t want to say out loud which packs had allied with us, to avoid Lava or Tidal targeting them. It was only a secret because you and Keena asked with others we didn’t trust around. Winning will take longer than we hoped, but we’ll still win.” He paused, waiting for my response. I didn’t say anything, because I wasn’t sure what to say. “You don’t believe me?”

“I don’t not believe you. I just… I’m scared. And tired of being betrayed, and hated, and tired of people trying to kill me,” I admitted.

A soft growl escaped Tuslan, and his body began to shake the way it had when he was in wolf form, his humanity absent.

I didn’t want him to go wolf again, and I wanted a distraction from the dark thoughts and memories.

So I cut Tuslan off with my mouth on his. If I caught him off guard, he didn’t show it. In an instant, he’d rolled on top of me so his body pinned mine to the mattress. Every hard inch of him pressed into me.

“No one touches you but me,” he snarled.

The words seemed random, but then again, he’d been having nightmares. And I’d almost died. And he was routinely coming face-to-face with men competing to mate with me.

So it wasn’t much of a stretch.

But I wanted more. “Then why aren’t you touching me, Red?”

His lips crashed into mine.

There was no hesitation.

No fear.

No question, and no worry.

Just Tuslan’s lips. His body. His hands.

The longer we kissed, the hotter it got.

His pelvis ground into mine, making me moan. That sound made him snarl again, into my mouth. He rolled us over, setting me on top of him, and moved me up and down.

I loved the feel of him against me, in the same position we’d been in last time. But now, there was no one around to stop us.

Our mouths continued to move. Fighting, devouring. Tuslan’s hands moved from my hips, gripping handfuls of my ass.

A growl escaped him when his hands dipped under my sleep shorts, taking handfuls of my bare backside. I arched against him, and he growled again, deeper.

More animalistic.

He ripped his mouth from mine, though his hands kept prodding and feeling my ass, moving closer to the place I really wanted his fingers.

“If you want me to stop, you have to tell me,” he warned, not a hint of silk to his voice. “I don’t have the control to stop this right now.”

“I don’t want to stop.” I put my lips back to his.

His teeth grew sharper, cutting up my lip as the soft skin dragged over his fangs.

That hurt a bit.

I withdrew as he swore, his flames taking away the pain in an instant.

“I’m fine, but no biting.” I took his mouth once again.

He drew his mouth away. “I know.” His lips found my neck, and he sucked the sensitive skin softly. I arched down against him, and he sucked harder.

His lips and tongue moved down my throat, licking and sucking. My body practically became liquid as I rode him, both of us still clothed but his fingers gripping my ass while he explored my neck.

“I want you to touch more of me,” I breathed.

He had me pinned on my back an instant later, his body all but wrapped around mine as his hand found my lower belly. His lips were still on my neck, teeth scraping the skin every few seconds.

He rolled to his side and his hand slipped beneath the waistband of my pants. His fingers were gentle and slow.

When they found my core, brushing over me lightly, I moaned. My hips arched, and he shuddered.

He growled into my neck, his fingers staying where they were. “Beasts, Leviathan. You’re so damn soft, and wet, and hot…”

“Imagine what it would feel like to be inside me, then.”

His teeth scraped my neck, and I arched again. His fingers brushed me then, slightly harder, and another moan slipped out. 

He rumbled. “Are you trying to torture me, female?”

“Yes,” I laughed breathlessly, as he slowly began to explore me. His long fingers pressed into me, carefully rubbing and testing everything he could find and feel. When something made me moan or arch, he did it again.

I was a sweaty mess, breathing so hard I couldn’t think straight, when I finally grabbed his hand and held it to me. My hips bucked as I rode it over the edge, and a cry escaped me as I shattered.

His dick throbbed against my hip, his desire digging into me in a way that made me feel powerful even as I sucked in deep breaths of air. “Holy shit,” I wheezed.

His fingers brushed my oversensitive skin again, and I couldn’t stop my moan. “Tuslan.”

“Yes?” His teeth scraped my neck after the growl.

“Put your damn finger inside me already.”

He bit down a little harder on my neck as his forefinger slid in just a little. His thumb lingered on the spot he’d already used to bring me over the edge while he swirled his finger a bit, testing me. He made his way deeper, until he met resistance, and I cried out in a bit of pain.

That halted him immediately. He tried to withdraw, but I caught him and held him there. “Keep going.”

“Let me take away the pain,” he growled back.

My head jerked in a nod, and the hand between my thighs caught fire.

My body arched at the pleasure accompanying the heat as his fingers slid deeper, and deeper, and deeper.

A tortured moan escaped me, and he stopped again, his flames still licking my core. There was no pain, only desperation, and need.

His teeth were still on my neck, biting too gently to hurt but too hard to make me believe he didn’t want more. And his dick—shit, that thing was hard.

“Will biting me get you off?” I moaned.

His snarl and the increased pressure on my neck confirmed it.

“Then bite me, Red.”

His teeth sank into my throat, and there was still no pain.

Instead, pleasure exploded.

A scream tore through me as my body arched, some part of me reaching far beyond my mortal body and soul. When the pleasure subsided, I found Tuslan licking my throat, his hand cupping my core. Where his cock pressed into me, still hard, my hip was damp.

“Tell me that was a scream of pleasure so I don’t have to burn myself to the fucking ground,” he told me, though his voice was dark silk once more.

“It was definitely pleasure,” I whispered, my body thoroughly exhausted once again but for a far better reason this time. “Why the hell don’t shifters want mates?” Mates could mean orgasms. Incredible, intense orgasms, apparently, if phoenix fire or biting was involved.

Tuslan’s chest rumbled softly. “Because they’re fools.”

“Exactly what I was thinking,” I mumbled.

Tuslan’s fingers finally, reluctantly, slipped away from my core. “Thank you, Leviathan.” His lips met my throat, then my cheek, then my forehead. “That is a memory I will cherish for the rest of my life.”

“Hopefully we’ll get the chance to make more,” I murmured.

“We will.” He said it so simply, even though the plan had changed and the other packs were working against him.

I didn’t know whether he was confident, cocky, or plain old stupid, but I didn’t think it was the latter.

And if he was that sure, I figured he’d probably figure out a way to make it happen. He was a five-form shifter, after all.

And… that made me really damn happy.

18

Tuslan and I remained where we were for a bit. His fingers slid over the curve of my thigh and hip, moving slowly. The movement was calming and comfortable.

He murmured into my hair, “Since I met you, I’ve started wanting things, imagining things, that I’ve never wanted or imagined before.”

The words poked at my curiosity. “Like what?”

“A certain female wearing my jewelry, sporting my bites, for one. A golden lalidro on my abdomen, and yours.” His fingers dipped back to my abdomen and traced around my belly button. They brushed over the curve of my hip and dipped around to my back, where bits of the inky marking had been on Tuslan before the desedra began.

“That’s all?” I asked, a smile playing on my lips. “And here I thought you’d changed from the stoic, solitary Alpha since we met.”

He chuckled. “I imagine possessing a bed that constantly smells like the woman I’ve fallen madly in love with. A home where she eats, sleeps, bathes—and lets me watch her do all three. Maybe all three at once, even.”

I laughed softly. “How am I supposed to eat and sleep at the same time?”

“Knowing you, my Leviathan, you’ll figure out a way.”

“And that’s all you’ve imagined?” I wondered, my fingers curving around the muscles of his arm, where it rested over my waist once again.

“That’s merely the tip of the iceberg, Phoenix.” He resumed tracing shapes on my stomach, and I realized with one particular curve that he was exactly replicating the lalidro he’d had, even without seeing it. “I imagine your mouth on mine morning, evening, and night. Your bare body, pressed against mine every chance we find. My face between your thighs, your hands and lips wrapped around my cock. Beasts, Blue, the things I’ve imagined doing to you, you doing to me… they’d make you red. Red, everywhere.”

My body warmed again. “We could do a few of those things right now,” I whispered.

“You still don’t believe that I’ll win this damned contest for you.” His fingers brushed hair off my forehead. “So until I’ve destroyed anyone else who dares desire you, I need to figure out a way to keep my hands off your delicious body.” His fingers dipped in the waistband of my pants again and brushed over my core one last time. My thighs clenched, but he withdrew too soon.

His fingers lifted slowly to his mouth, and my lips parted when I glanced back and saw him suck them. His erection throbbed against me again.

“Are you trying to torture me?” I murmured, taking his words.

“No. I’ve wondered if you taste as delicious as you smell; now I know you do.” His chest rumbled with his low chuckle when my body flushed hotter. “Let’s distract that mouth of yours with food before you do something that will press me to keep you here even longer.”

The words brought me back to the present—to where I was, and what had happened.

“Yeah, what the hell, Tuslan?” I pressed. “You ditched me here for days.”

“I couldn’t think of another place where I trusted that you’d be entirely safe within flying distance of the desedra,” he admitted. “I wasn’t exactly… thinking. Nature took over, and logical thought ceased to exist.”

“I was worried I’d have to jump off the damned porch,” I grumbled.

His body tensed, and he shuddered. “Let’s not discuss you getting injured again right now.”

Right, he was still a bit out of control.

“Did the… what we did, did it help?” I stumbled over my words, not sure what the proper way to talk about it out loud was.

“Biting you, losing myself on your hip, tasting your lips and feeling your core on my fingers while you screamed your pleasure?” His voice grew more growly with every word. My thighs clenched, my body growing hotter.

What had he started within me?

The growl remained. “Yes, Leviathan, it helped more than you can imagine. I only wish I could keep you in this bed, in this cave, for the next few years while I get to know every inch of you in every way there is.”

Well.

Okay, then.

He leaned over me to grab an apple, handing it to me. “Eat this.”

That wasn’t what I wanted in my mouth.

Not even a little.

But I took the fruit and ate it, because the alternative was to demand he put his hand back between my thighs and make me forget who I was and where we were and everything that waited for me back in the castle.

And as incredible as that sounded, he had a desedra to win… and I had to figure out what to do with my broken pack.

We shared my food, though Tuslan ate most of it. He was unstoppable now that he’d discovered he liked human food, and I suspected he hadn’t stopped to eat while I was trapped in the cave.

Afterward, we finally got out of bed. I put on the golden clothing he’d brought when he was in wolf form the first time he stopped by, and left my fuzzy robe and warm socks on the bed for the next time I was there.

I hoped there would be a next time, and wouldn’t let myself believe there may not.

The flight back to the castle was more than an hour even at Tuslan’s speed, but I still found that I loved to fly. And his fire kept me warm, so that wasn’t a problem, either.

A crowd gathered on the beach as Tuslan landed, shifters wearing the colors of every pack in Tendira. Tuslan tried to remain in front of me, but I stepped around to the front of him and held his hand to my hip in an attempt to keep him from going beast again.

“Get away from the Blood Alpha!” someone yelled. “His pack wants us all dead!”

“They burned our capitol to the ground!” another person hollered. That one had to have been from Royal, I assumed.

“The Tidal Pack set the fires as a distraction, and they used the opportunity to try to kill me,” I called back. “I am allied with the Blood Pack, and I still support the Blood Alpha. I—”

I almost said I loved him, but then the crowds parted as Paik and Keena shoved their way through. They walked to our sides, flanking us and glaring at the crowd.

“I’m the Queen,” I finally said, my voice near shouting-level even though I knew the shifters could all hear just fine. “This is my castle, and my pack. When the Blood Alpha wins my desedra, I’ll be merging my people with his. If you’re part of Royal, and not willing to join Blood, then leave. I’m sure the other packs will be happy to have you.”

I grabbed Tuslan’s hand, striding back toward the castle. Paik and Keena remained at our sides, and they cleared the path for us even though I was fairly certain it would’ve cleared without them there.

We were in the castle, on our way toward my section of the building before anyone said anything.

“I’m glad you got him back to human form,” Keena muttered, her voice so low I could hardly hear her. “Trying to plan shit with a wolf who barely stops growling is a fucking mess.”

Tuslan’s grip on my hand tightened.

I squeezed it. “I bet.”

“Where did you take her?” Paik asked Tuslan. “We checked everywhere we could think of on pack lands, and even sent someone out to your lair.”

“Nowhere you need to worry about,” Tuslan replied.

That solidified my assumption that no one else had a clue about his hoard’s location, if they knew it existed at all.

We walked past the doors to my room, and I frowned, letting Tuslan continue to tow me down the hallway. “Where are we going?”

“I moved your things. Cina’s old rooms are safer.”

I wasn’t sure I liked that he’d moved my stuff without asking. “How?”

“The walls are thicker, the air vents are separate from any others, the doors are made of Ploe wood,” Keena rattled off facts. “Plus, there’s more space, which gives the rest of us a place to stay close while we continue fighting to keep your cute ass alive.”

Well, that did sound reasonable. I preferred my cute ass living, too.

A vicious snarl sounded from within the doors of Cina’s rooms—my rooms—as they swung open. Tomo stood in the doorway in his bear form, and beasts, he was huge.

If I ran into him in the forest, I’d definitely pee myself.

“Keep your pants on,” Keena snapped back. “If I want to talk about Mesa’s ass, I’m going to.”

Tuslan and Tomo snarled together that time.

“Damned men.” Keena shoved past the bear.

“Stop fighting your attraction to him and have sex already,” Alyx called back.

Tomo didn’t growl at that idea, though he did step closer to Keena.

“Fuck you,” Keena muttered, stalking toward one of the spare rooms.

“Fuck him,” Alyx countered.

A group of seven women stepped out of another spare room. I stopped where I was, pulling Tuslan to a halt too.

My guards.

They all looked relieved, engulfing me in a massive group hug. My hug back was less than halfhearted; now, I could admit why they were relieved.

Not because they loved me, but because the Queen they were assigned to protect was still alive.

They shot questions at me, and glares at Tuslan, but my protective instincts rose and urged me to defend the male.

“I’m fine,” I cut them off. “And I’ve decided I no longer need guards.” They were silent for a beat, so I surged onward before they could argue. “You’re free to return to your lives and families. Our pack will be merging with the Blood Pack when Tuslan wins the desedra, and I’m sure they’ll need a few more fighters to help with shit after the merge if you’re looking for a job.”

I glanced at Tuslan. His expression was neutral, but he nodded once.

“Thank you for your service to the Queens. We’re lucky to have had you.” I bobbed my head toward them the way Tuslan had, before stepping around the group and to Cina’s old bedroom, which I was sure Tuslan had made into mine.

He shut the door behind us, and my gaze swept the room. Sure enough, it was entirely different. He must’ve caught on to my dislike of the furniture connected to my memories of Cina.

A bigger bed replaced the old one, and was set up on the opposite side of the room. A thick, faintly-gold comforter that matched the one I’d had in my other bedroom was spread across it, though the new comforter was much bigger. The similarity made it feel like mine—which I suspected was Tuslan’s reasoning for it.

There was a couch to one side of the room and a few chairs to the other, reminding me of the way my old space was set up.

It was sweet that he tried to replicate it, though nicer, to make me comfortable.

“That was unexpected,” he remarked.

“I loved them more than they loved me,” I said, simply. “And I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

“Well, we need to meet with the lead wolves,” he murmured to me, his hand skidding slowly up my arm as his chin perched on my head.

“I need to shower first. Can it wait ten minutes?”

“It can wait as long as you’d like.” The weight of his head lifted, and his lips met my forehead as the door to my bedroom swung open.

“Mesa,” Ellery said, her voice and expression agitated.

I turned to face her, schooling my expression. “Yeah?”

“You can’t fire your guards while your life is in danger. I know Wren betrayed you, but the rest of us do our jobs to the best of our ability. You need us.”

“I’m done having guards.” I didn’t leave room for argument.

Her eyes flared with anger. “I’m not leaving.”

I shrugged. “You can stay if you want, but like I said, I’m done with guards.”

“Fine.” Her voice was clipped. “I’m staying.”

“Tell Keena to add you to the rotation,” Tuslan said, his voice silky once again. “I trust you.”

She looked taken aback by the words. “Alright.”

Leaving the room, she closed the door behind herself.

“Really?” I looked at Tuslan.

“She fits in with my leads and fights for what she believes in. Alyx and Keena like her, and my gut tells me she’ll be a good addition to the group.”

“Your gut did tell you that I was strong,” I said, slipping away from him and heading toward the bathroom.

“It told me you were meant to be mine,” he corrected. “And it was right. As it always is.”

I showered off quickly, then decided a tiny bath wouldn’t hurt anything. Turning the water on, I filled the tub with hot water and honey-scented bubbles, slipping in and watching the water rise.

When it was full, I shut off the water and leaned back so I could relax against the tub. Cina had never cared for baths, so her tub was nothing fancy, but I didn’t care. A tub was a tub.

19

I thought I heard footsteps, so I quieted my mind and listened.

Rhythmic steps sounded on the tile, soft enough that I could barely hear them, but constant enough that I did.

Was Tuslan…pacing?

The man was usually a mountain. He must’ve been worried.

“Tuslan,” I called out.

The pacing stopped and the door swung open. “Yes?” His gaze swept me, but I got the feeling he wasn’t checking me out—he was checking to make sure I was okay.

“What are you doing?”

He didn’t answer immediately. “Waiting.”

I narrowed my eyes at him.

“Pacing,” he finally grumbled.

“Why?”

“You nearly died.” His gaze was piercing.

Though he didn’t say it, I was pretty sure that meant he was pacing because he was afraid for me.

My heart softened a bit. “Just come sit in the room, then. The bubbles have me covered, so I won’t be stealing your innocence or anything.” I winked.

His eyes flashed. “My innocence is yours to steal any time, place, or way you want it.”

My lips curved in a half-smile. “I thought you were going to keep your hands off me until you win the desedra.”

He scoffed.

A laugh slipped from me. “It’s okay. We’re going to have an eternity, right? What’s a few more days or weeks in the grand scheme of things?”

“When it’s you, a lot.”

“Well you’re the one who decided that, not me.”

His eyes dipped to my chest, though I remained covered by bubbly water.

“I hate trying to be good,” he grumbled.

“Then why bother?”

He tilted his head to the side. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a terrible influence, Blue?”

I grinned. “Only you, Red.”

His lips tilted upward. “That’s right.” He paused. “Move your hair a bit?” 

I glanced down at my chest, finding the soaked strands covering as much of my tits as the bubbles did. “Why?”

“I want to see my mark on your neck.”

Oh.

Well, that made sense.

“I thought your fire would’ve healed it.” I hadn’t looked for it in the mirror; I’d assumed it wouldn’t be there.

“A shifter’s bite isn’t an injury; it’s a love mark. My fire had no reason to remove it, and even so, I made sure it didn’t.” He studied me. “I assumed you would be okay with that, since you asked me to bite you.”

“I think I ordered you to bite me,” I admitted.

His eyes flashed, his lips curving up further.

“And yes, I’m fine with that. I’m not ashamed of being with you.” I felt my neck for a bruise or something, but I couldn’t find it. “Which side?”

“Right.” He didn’t even have to stop and think about it.

I guess it made sense for it to be on that side, since he’d asked to see it and that was the only side of my neck he could see from where he sat.

Gathering my hair, I dragged it all over to my left shoulder, exposing my skin to Tuslan.

He went unnaturally still.

“Are you alright?” I checked.

“Fine.” His voice was strangled. “I didn’t expect how it would feel—seeing evidence of my love on your skin.”

Evidence of his love?

My heartbeat picked up.

Was he trying to say he loved me?

“How does it feel?” I asked.

“Like I was just existing until I found you. Like my hoard of treasure is worthless compared to your priceless perfection. Like the beasts above must’ve decided I’d finally done something right when they sent you to my beach.” His throat bobbed as he swallowed. “Like you’re mine, heart, body, and soul. And like I’m yours all the same.”

Wow.

That was a lot to put on a single temporary scar.

If it meant that much to him, he could bite me whenever the hell he wanted.

“The wolf in you is what wants the biting,” I said.

Tuslan continued to stare, his head bobbing just a bit.

“And the dragon is what gives me the gifts, and wants to see me use them, and wear them. How do the other parts of you want to claim me?”

He finally looked away from the scar. “If I told you, you’d likely run.”

Well, if that didn’t make me curious nothing would.

“I’m not easily scared away, Tuslan.” I paused. “And if I ran, something tells me you’d enjoy chasing me.”

A ghost of a grin stretched his cheeks. “Is that an offer?”

“Nope. If you wanted me to run for you, you’d have to come up with a damn good offer.”

He chuckled. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“I know you’re avoiding my question, Red.”

“Slip your hands between your thighs.”

My eyebrows lifted. “That’s how you want to claim me?”

He shook his head at me, his lips twitching upward a bit, toward another smile. “Humor me. Touch your inner thighs—nothing else.”

I did as he said, my fingers trailing the actual insides of my thighs. They brushed a rough patch of skin, and my back arched of its own accord as I inhaled sharply, hot need pooling in my lower belly.

“What the hell?” I planted my feet on the edges of the tub, lifting my torso so I could peer at the skin on my thighs.

Where I’d felt the rough patch, was a charcoal-colored fingerprint.

I glanced at Tuslan, finding his eyes on my body and his hands fisted at his sides.

“What is that?” I gestured to the black fingerprint.

“A phoenix’s burn.” His jaw clenched.

I brushed my fingers over it again and my entire body clenched. “Beasts,” I breathed, lowering my pelvis back into the water.

I’d never felt so horny in my life. Sure, I had always enjoyed steamy romances, but they had never even come close to affecting me the way Tuslan had. It was like he’d lit a fire inside me, and my body burned for more.

I looked back at Tuslan, and found his chest rising and falling quickly.

He looked just as affected as I did.

Had the burn done that?

“I didn’t feel you burn me,” I said.

“It’s not a typical burn. It creates a physical tie between the phoenix and his or her lover. An erogenous zone that both share. It’s the way a phoenix claims their mate, and it gives their mate power over them in the same way. It’s not truly a burn; the skin isn’t damaged, it’s just marked by the flames. It fades over a few days, but lasts longer the more you… play with it.”

Well, that sounded dirty.

And absolutely fun, too.

He continued, “I didn’t intend to burn you. I planned to explain it and ask before marking you that way. Love burns can be difficult to deal with, as they’re sensitive even to the brush of clothing, but—”

I interrupted. “Stop worrying, Red. You just told me that you gave me power over you, and you’re the most powerful shifter in Tendira. That’s pretty cool. Why is it only one finger?”

“I was trying not to burn you.” He lifted his shoulders. “I’m sure next time, there will be more.”

I definitely liked the idea of next time.

“Does distance affect it?” I asked. “If I was still at the cave, and you were here, would you still feel it just the same?”

“No, distance doesn’t affect it, and yes, I’d feel it the same wherever you were.”

“Well, now I know how I’m going to torture you if you ever try to lock me in a tower.” I flashed him a dark grin. “Good luck trapping me now.”

He barked out a laugh. “I’m glad you see it that way… and I look forward to that.”

“What about your other forms?”

“The human in me wants to claim you the way all humans do: with a lalidro and a mating ceremony. With emotional connections and promises, like you read about in your books.”

I nodded. That, I could understand. “And the leviathan?”

“Leviathans mark and claim by scent. Should I mark you with mine, the smell of me would ward off any who desire to take you from me. It would also amplify the way you smell to me, making it easier for me to track you, and giving me a way to smell your emotions more simply than I already can. If you were turned on, for example, your scent would grow and swell for me until I found you and took care of you as I should. The same thing would happen if you were sad, or angry—the smell would push me to help you feel better.”

“It would take away your freedom to make decisions?” I frowned.

He laughed.

I didn’t think it was a laughable question, and my forehead wrinkled.

“Marking you in the first place is a choice, Blue. The scent amplification would only make it easier for me to do for you what I already want to do. There would be nothing even remotely unpleasant about knowing when you’re sad or lonely or horny or confused. Particularly the third, though.”

Hmm.

I guessed that made sense.

“So is the inside of my vagina covered in love burns since your hand was on fire while you were inside me?” I checked.

“Probably.”

“Guess I shouldn’t play with it too much, then,” I teased, bringing a few of his words back.

He gave me a slow, seductive smirk. “If pleasure is what you need, I will be the one to bring it to you.”

“You said you’re not going to touch me. Until you’ve won the desedra, the only relief I’m going to get is from myself.”

“You won’t be able to make yourself scream with pleasure. My teeth and flames gave you that release,” he purred.

“And they left me with a love burn,” I countered, slowly circling my finger over the mark.

My body throbbed as I did, and my breathing picked up.

His chest rose and fell faster. “Keep touching it and you’ll find me in that tub with you.”

Was I opposed to that?

Definitely not.

I brushed my thumb over the spot, and he was striding toward the tub in the blink of an eye.

“Mesa?” Keena knocked on the door hard. “Is the Alpha in there with you? We’ve got a problem.”

I bit back a groan, my finger stilling where it was.

“Yeah, he’s in here.” I lifted my hands back to the sides of the tub. “What happened?”

“Your pack is rebelling.”

Rebelling?

What the hell did that mean?

“Alright, we’ll be there in a minute,” I called back, reaching for the tub’s drain and pulling it up.

Tuslan was wrapping me in a towel as soon as I stepped out, his lips on my shoulder and then neck as my head tilted for him.

“Do you know what I despise about your bathing habits?” he murmured into my skin.

“What?” I shot him a dark look.

“You rinse my scent off your skin every damn time.”

Well, that was better than what I’d expected him to say.

“There’s an easy fix to that, from what I understand.” I flashed him a smirk. “Maybe next time you make me scream, I’ll let you scent-mark me.”

His teeth scraped my neck. “Tonight.”

“I thought you were being good.”

“I’ve decided not to give a damn about being good when your pleasure—and body—is involved. Put it on your calendar, Leviathan.”

His hand brushed the mark between my thighs before he strode out of the bathroom, and my body clenched once again as I watched his ass walk away from me.

Maybe I shouldn’t have poked the monster, but beasts, I didn’t care anymore.

I just wanted him.

20

I got dressed quickly, making time to cover myself in honey-scented lotion in hopes that it would hide the smell of my desire.

Throwing my hair up in a bun on top of my head so it wouldn’t soak me, I slipped on my shoes and strolled out of my room.

“Damn,” Paik said, staring at me as I stepped out.

“What?” I glanced down at myself, making sure I had remembered to put on clothes.

Yep, I was dressed.

“Don’t stare,” Tuslan said, his voice deceptively calm.

“You claimed her,” Paik told him, peeling his eyes off me and looking at the Blood Alpha.

“Of course I did.” Tuslan’s voice was dark. “She’s mine.”

“What’s going on?” I asked Keena, finding her and Alyx and Ellery in a group near the door, arguing.

“The factions have chosen new leaders and decided they no longer want to be Royal,” Ellery said quickly, her expression agitated again.

“What’s their reasoning?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Keena butted in. “They’re a bunch of morons.”

“Ellery,” I narrowed my eyes at her.

“Their Queen sided with Blood.”

Shit.

“We didn’t even attack them,” Keena protested. “They’re changing the narrative to fit their power-grab.”

“They’re right, though.” I admitted. “I did choose Blood over Royal. If I was truly loyal to the pack, I’d be supporting one of the Royal shifters in the desedra, like the Queens usually do.”

Alyx said, “We need to win them back, so they survive until our packs merge.”

“How do you suggest we do that?” I checked

“The first step would probably be to meet with them and prove that you’re alive and well. Second would either be to take control by force, or to meet with the faction leaders and agree to some kind of bid for peace among them,” she said, her hands moving as she spoke.

Alyx went on, “I don’t know the pack well enough to know what’s going to work, but I’d imagine they’re scared. We could offer them land in Blood to move to right now if you think that would work, or we could try to offer to ally with them in the desedra. But I think we’ve burned a bridge with the desedra, because everyone knows by now that Tuslan will kill anyone he has to kill to win.”

I glanced over my shoulder. Tuslan and Paik looked to have gone to another room, maybe to talk to Tomo.

“They won’t accept your land; they’re too prideful,” Ellery said.

“What if we just… let them go?” I asked.

The women stared at me, a bit blankly.

“The Blood Pack is already growing rapidly. It’s a much healthier place to be than this one. In Blood, people are respected just for being alive. Here, they’re not. So what if we just tell them they can have their pack’s land when we’re gone and leave as soon as the desedra finishes?”

They continued staring.

“I know it probably sounds stupid to you because shifters value power and whatnot, but I already have a pack, and it’s not Royal.” I paused a beat. “And if Tuslan doesn’t win the desedra, I hope you’ll help me get away from my mate.”

Alyx didn’t hesitate, and her voice didn’t shake. The colors in her eyes churned, darkening as they did. “If Tuslan loses and your mate dares lift a hand to you, we’ll fuck him up so badly that he’ll spend the rest of your very long lives crying every time he hears the name of the Blood Pack.”

There was a beat of silence.

“Wow. I’ve never thought you were scary before, but that was impressively terrifying,” I told Alyx.

“Let’s not tell Tuslan we’re discussing the possibility of him losing,” Keena suggested, easing the conversation back to the topic at hand. “What are we going to do about the Royals?”

“I think I need to go to the factions and let them know that regardless of the desedra’s winner, I’ll be moving back to Blood. I’ll let them know that they’re free to choose an Alpha and have a pack of their own, but that any who want to are also welcome to join the Blood Pack. Does that work for you?” I looked around the group.

All three women nodded.

“Tuslan’s not going to like to hear this, but he shouldn’t go when you address Royal,” Ellery said. “If he does, they’ll assume he’s speaking through you. If the three of us accompany you instead, they’ll know it’s coming from you. They saw us fighting to save them from the fire and obeying your commands with the factions already; they trust that you’re in charge of us. But everyone already has ideas about the Blood Alpha, and most don’t truly believe that he’s wrapped around the finger of a human.”

Well, that hurt a little.

It always came back to my humanity, didn’t it?

“I wouldn’t say he’s wrapped around her finger,” Keena said with a grin. “More like she’s wrapped around his—oomph,” she grunted when Alyx elbowed her hard in the gut. “That was excessive.”

“You’re excessive,” Alyx shot back.

“It’s who I am,” Keena agreed.

I snorted. “Let’s just go with neither of us being wrapped around any part of the other person.”

“Truthfully, it’s more along the lines of being burned into each other’s skin.” Ellery said casually.

All three of us stared at her.

“Did you just make a joke?” Keena asked, shocked.

Ellery fidgeted a bit. “Yes?”

“Welcome to the gang,” Keena cackled, throwing her arms around the other woman and squeezing her tightly. “I’ll get you some Rounds.”

“Thanks?” Ellery said, struggling for air.

I grinned.

Maybe Tuslan’s instincts were right again.

“So which one of you wants to tell Tuslan our plan?” Alyx asked, looking between the other three of us.

“My vote goes for the one who smells of his fire,” Ellery said.

“Same.” Keena nodded quickly.

Dammit.

“Fine. But if he tries to distract me with his body, I expect one of you to get involved,” I warned.

All three of them shook their heads.

“No way.”

“I’m out.”

“Not even maybe.”

I glared at them. “Grow a pair, ladies.” Turning, I headed off to find the men.

They stood around a table that held what looked like a damn good cardboard replica of the castle, minus the roof. Hearing my name, I stopped in the open doorway without stepping inside.

“If we focus on Pine next, we eliminate a possible ally to the Tidals,” Paik argued. “Mesa thinks they’re working together; why risk it?”

I decided I’d probably walked in on a desedra strategy-planning session.

“Because if they take us out, we’d rather the women have to deal with Pine than Rain,” Tuslan countered.

My lips parted.

I’d never heard him so much as consider the possibility that he might not win, but there he was, planning for a future where he might die in the maze.

Hurt curled in my chest. He was fine acknowledging to them that there was a chance he’d die in the desedra, but not me?

Did he really think I was that fragile?

“The rain leaders don’t allow shifter on shifter violence outside the desedra,” Tomo said. “And based on what we’ve seen, they don’t want to risk the Queens death. Quit thinking with your dick.”

My lips parted further.

I’d never heard anyone talk to Tuslan like that, either.

But then again, he and Tomo had formed the Blood Pack together, from what I understood. I hadn’t seen them interact much, but I knew Tomo was Tuslan’s second, which meant Tuslan trusted him more than anyone else.

“We know Rain’s anti-violence laws don’t protect women with lalidros. My dick has nothing to do with me not wanting anyone else to suffer the way Alyx did.”

Okay, I was officially eavesdropping.

I cleared my throat, and all three men turned around. I didn’t make eye contact with Tuslan, my mind still spinning a bit. “Cina and Lennox were arguing about how to deal with Pine a few months before they died; I overheard them. They had solid evidence that the Alpha and his leads were working with the Tidal leaders.”

Tuslan’s eyes bore into me, but I didn’t address his attention as I continued. “They didn’t say what, but they didn’t make it sound like there was any question about Pine’s lack of loyalty. I guess they never came to an agreement about what to do.”

“Which pack would you rather deal with?” Tomo asked me.

I lifted a shoulder. “If I had to choose between the two, I’d go with Rain. Keena and Alyx have already agreed to deal with my mate if he’s an asshole.”

My gaze finally met Tuslan’s, and his expression was dark. “I’m sorry.”

He knew he’d been adamant that there wasn’t a chance he wouldn’t win—and that he’d lied to me about feeling that way.

“About hiding the truth? You should be. I can handle reality, even if it’s shitty.” I paused. “Me and the other women are going alone to go deal with my pack. If any of you come, they’ll assume you’re speaking through me.”

His eyes narrowed. “No.”

“I wasn’t asking, Tuslan. This was a polite announcement.”

I walked out of the room, the stress-ball in my stomach swelling once again.

He shut the door behind himself as he stepped outside, catching me only a few steps away from the room. His fingers met mine, and he turned me toward him with a gentle tug.

“I was trying not to worry you,” he admitted. “I’m sorry.”

“I guess I shouldn’t be offended. Our relationship was based on lies in the first place, and that was my fault.” I pulled my fingers out of his grip and slipped both hands in my pockets.

“Don’t do that.” He stepped closer to me.

I stepped back, not sure I wanted to touch him right then. “Don’t do what?”

“Act like what we had wasn’t real. What we still have.”

“Honesty matters, Tuslan. Telling me the truth matters. You’re trying to control me by lying to me, and I told you I refuse to be controlled.”

“I need you to believe in me, Blue.” His voice was low, so low I almost wondered if he’d spoken at all. “Hearing you question me… it’ll kill me. I’m struggling to keep my head; I need to hear that you trust that I can win this. I’ve fought the other packs before, plenty of times, but never when I cared this much that I survived.”

“What does that mean?”

His hands caught my face, tilting me back so our eyes met when his nose brushed mine. “When I built the pack, I was reckless. I had nothing to lose, and everything to gain. Now, I have everything to lose, and my mind is scrambling because of it. I need you to believe in me, Mesa.”

My throat swelled, the stress-ball fading.

He was scared.

Scared to lose me.

I could understand lying because he was scared.

Nodding slightly, I whispered, “No more lies, okay? If you knew you needed that, you should’ve told me in the first place. If I knew you just needed someone to cheer for you, I would’ve put on a sexy outfit and danced around while chanting your name.”

Relief crossed his face before he gave a growly laugh. “You’d better not do that dance for anyone but me.”

“You’d better win, then.”

His lips spread in a devious grin. “Is that a promise?”

“No.” I went up on my tiptoes, and he leaned his head down so I could whisper in his ear, “It’s an oath.”

My fingers swiped the soft fabric of my pants over the mark on my inner thigh that made my body clench.

His erection grew against my lower belly, and he swore under his breath. “I should never have told you about that.”

I laughed, pressing my lips to his cheek before lowering back to my feet. “Probably not.” I flashed him a grin. “I’m going to deal with my pack. I know you don’t want me leaving your sight, but I swear, I’m going to be fine this time. If something happens, I’ll brush the love burn three times, and you’ll know to swoop in and help. Okay?”

He considered the idea. “That might work. Try it.”

“I don’t want to get all horny in the hallway,” I grumbled.

“If you want me to watch you walk away, you’re going to have to do it, Blue.”

I made a face, glancing both ways to make sure no one was around before I brushed my pants against the small marking three separate, distinct times.

His erection grew rock hard. “That’ll work,” he grunted.

“You might have a hard-on when you come to rescue me, but I could take care of it for you afterward… assuming you’re actually willing to touch me.” The words were a tease, and I hoped he knew it.

“I should never have said that.” He grabbed my face again, pressing his lips to mine.

My tongue slipped into his mouth, enjoying the taste and feel of him for the short while that the kiss went on.

I finally pulled away when I got the feeling that he wasn’t going to break the kiss—unless he was breaking it to carry me back to my bedroom. “Okay, I need to go. Make a plan to kick some Pine ass, alright?”

“Of course.” He caught a handful of my butt before I walked away. “I look forward to tonight, Blue.”

“You and me both.” I flashed him a grin, brushing the love mark one last time.

He swore, and I laughed as I slipped back into the room with the other women.

“Are we good to go?” Alyx checked.

“Yup.”

“Wow. I didn’t think you had a chance,” Keena remarked, as we headed out toward the door.

I flashed her a grin. “Wasn’t it you who said I’m the one who smells like his flames?”

She grinned back. “Nope. That was Ellery. She seems to believe in you more than I do.”

I laughed, glancing at Ellery. “Thanks, Elle,” I winked.

“Don’t thank me for sending you to fight with the Blood Alpha,” she said, though I caught the hint of a grin in her eyes.

“I’m sure fighting is foreplay for them,” Alyx said without batting an eyelash. “That’s how it always goes with the strong ones.”

Keena sighed. “I hate you for being right about that.”

“No comment,” I remarked. Keena and Alyx laughed together.

I noticed Ellery didn’t respond, so I glanced over at her to make sure she was okay. In her eyes, I saw… jealousy.

Was she in love with Tuslan?

The thought made my chest hurt, and my arm itch to punch her even though I knew that was a shitty idea. She wouldn’t be the only one who wanted him; apparently he had a damned fan club. But it would hurt more from her, even if she didn’t do anything about it.

“What about you, Ellery? Have you ever had a lalidro?” Keena asked.

“No. I’ve never been with anyone before,” she admitted.

My lips parted, and I suddenly felt bad for assuming the worst.

Keena whistled “Damn. Aren’t you getting old? You must have willpower of steel. I gave in at the first sign of pain when I neared my first heat.”

“I am,” Ellery admitted. “I’ve considered it, I’ve just never trusted a man enough to ride out heat with him.”

Well shit.

“Next time you go into heat, just call up Paik. He must’ve slept with a thousand women by now. He gets dragged to the heat house at least once or twice a month,” Alyx remarked. “He even renovated it himself a few years back.”

Ellery’s face wrinkled. “I’d rather not dirty myself with a used penis.”

I couldn’t help it; I snorted. Keena cackled, and Alyx laughed too.

“That’s rich!” Keena nearly tripped, she was laughing so hard. “I’m so going to use that.”

“In his defense, they do ask him,” Alyx said, wiping her eyes as her laughter faded. “He doesn’t just offer himself up on a silver platter. They come looking for him.”

Ellery wrinkled her whole face. “I think that’s even worse.”

21

After a short flight, we found a massive crowd gathered in an unburned chunk of the capitol. The group of shifters practically buzzed with anger, most people shouting while some brawled and others tried to break up the fighting.

Since there wasn’t a stage, Keena landed on the roof of a short building. Everyone looked as she landed—though I was pretty sure that was just because my pack loved perytons.

Surging out in front of my companions, I raised my voice. “People of the Royal Pack,” I yelled, using my magic to carry the words into the crowd. Some of them quieted, and the brawling stopped.

My eyes caught on Zeva and a few of the other ex-guards, mixed in with the angry group. Sable was noticeably missing. I tracked the group with my eyes, trying to figure out if the ex-guards were involved in the riot.

I called out, “You wanted to talk to your Queen, so here I am. Send your representatives over, and we’ll talk.”

Chaos erupted again, and then four individuals made their way through.

One from each faction.

I noticed Zeva was one of the four, and one of Cina’s ex-guards was another.

Sable landed in her manticore form beside Ellery and Alyx, and whispered something to the two of them. Her voice moved rapidly, and all three women focused on me as the factions’ representatives reached the house.

They climbed up, and then the representatives and I formed a circle.

I maintained the voice-carrying barrier and asked, “Who do you speak for?”

My own protective barrier remained, even though I didn’t have enough left to protect the rest of my group. They all healed much faster than I did, and could defend themselves better too.

“F Faction,” Zeva said in a level voice, her expression unreadable.

“H Faction,” Cina’s old guard said, similarly dispassionate.

“L Faction,” the third woman said.

“P Faction,” the fourth person said, this one the only male.

“What’s the problem, then?” I asked.

“We refuse to follow a human who’s sided with the Blood monsters,” Zeva said, her voice and expression cold.

Seriously?

She was the one who’d tried to hit on Tuslan, and acted like it was so insane that the strongest man in Tendira cared about me.

Zeva added, “Seeing as the Queen no longer cares about the best interests of our pack, we would prefer we parted ways. We don’t want your Alpha to lead us; we want our own.”

“You expect me to believe that the factions agreed to follow one Alpha?” I lifted an eyebrow. “Lennox struggled to deal with all of you bastards for centuries.”

That comment earned me glares from everyone in the circle, which was satisfying.

“We’ve voted on the one we feel can lead us properly, with a council made up of the rest of us,” Cina’s guard said.

“And who will lead this perfect pack?” I drawled.

“Me.” Zeva said, her hand landing on her hip.

That was… just plain ridiculous. Zeva was less mature than I was, and I was a twenty year-old human. She got angry in a heartbeat, over petty matters that a good Alpha wouldn’t give a shit about.

“That sounds positively brilliant,” I agreed, laying on the sarcasm thick. “Put someone in a leadership position who has absolutely never led any shifters before; genius. Why didn’t I think of that myself?”

After a pause, I continued. “Most Alphas are chosen from groups of previous lead wolves, because lead wolves know what it takes to lead a pack. So tell me, what will you do when someone disobeys you?”

“Kill them, just like your boyfriend would,” Zeva sneered.

There wasn’t a word for what Tuslan was to me, but it certainly wasn’t boyfriend.

But, I knew she was just trying to get a rise out of me. If I lost my temper, she would look better and I would look worse.

“Or maybe make a deal with the Tidal Pack, like your best friend?” I asked, tilting my head to the side. “I may be young, but I’m not clueless. You and Wren were close. If she was working with them, there’s a good chance you are too.”

Gasps went through the crowd.

“Wren betrayed me as much as she betrayed you,” Zeva snarled, then caught herself and smoothed her expression. “We expect you to leave the pack as soon as your desedra ends, and to take the Blood bastards and whichever dick becomes your mate with you. If you don’t, we’ll be forced to resort to drastic measures to remove you.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t dare destroy the Soul of Tendira, would you?” I countered.

Her expression grew angry again.

We may not have been friends, but I was well-aware of what it took to push her buttons. I’d grown up while she guarded me, after all.

Cina’s guard stepped in before Zeva could say something else to piss me off. “We would never risk the Anchor of the Beasts, but you have plenty of friends we could kill to persuade you.”

“I’m sure my friends will help me leave this beastsforsaken pack before it comes to that.” My gaze swept the rest of the circle. “All of the factions agree to this plan?”

All four others in the group nodded.

“Very well. Then this pack will cease to be known as the Royal Pack; what will you call yourselves?”

Cina’s old guard didn’t hesitate. “The Faction Pack.”

I could’ve snorted.

Great idea; naming themselves after the very divides that had costed so many innocent lives over the centuries.

“Lovely,” I agreed, turning out to the crowd. “Your pack will henceforth be known as the Faction Pack. As you’ve decided, any allegiance between myself and your pack will be terminated. Any who wish to follow me will be welcome in the Blood Pack, and they can begin to make their way there at any time. In the Blood Pack, there is no money; everyone contributes their share and is provided with life’s necessities in exchange.”

That last fact earned me a wave of loud, loud silence.

“They do?” someone yelled

“Yes, they do. That’s not why I’ve decided to join them, though. The Blood Pack is led by a fair Alpha who gives everyone a chance to prove their loyalty through respecting other pack members. Violence is not tolerated, and there is none of this ridiculous drama you’ve created here. I am proud to follow the Blood Alpha… and proud to be walking away from your Faction Pack.”

Cutting off my barrier magic, I turned back to Keena and Alyx. I didn’t have to ask if they were ready.

Keena shifted, her wings spreading to the sky. The sun caught on the dusting of gold in her fur and feathers, and she glittered.

Ellery shifted with us, and Sable did too. All three of the winged-shifters took off from the building, but they didn’t head straight back to the castle—they headed toward Blood territory.

“What are we doing?” I yelled to Alyx.

She flashed me a sly grin. “It’s a secret!” she yelled back. “But get comfortable!”

At least a few hours had passed when I finally saw where we were headed: to the Blood Capitol.

Keena landed in the center of the city, which was still bustling despite the massive number of shifters who’d gone to compete in my desedra.

People stepped out of shops, leaving their booths and homes as they came out to see us.

“Isn’t that the Alpha’s female? Why’s she wearing gold?” I heard someone whisper as we got off Keena’s back. She and the others shifted.

“Welcome back to the Blood Capitol, Queen Mesa,” Keena yelled, loudly enough that everyone in the damned city must’ve been able to hear. The gasps and whispers grew louder, but I didn’t pay them any attention.

“There’s my favorite human,” Reta declared, striding across the dirt street to greet us. “I can’t wait to show you the wardrobe I’m building you.”

I laughed.

Sable threw her arm over my shoulder, dragging me closer. “That’ll have to wait. We’ve planned a Single Celebration for you.”

“A what?” I lifted my eyebrows, letting her drag me off toward the side of the city. “And I thought I fired you.”

She laughed. “You can’t fire someone from being your friend, Mesa, though I do enjoy the newfound freedom that accompanies being jobless. And a Single Celebration is a tradition; the women who care about you throw a big party to celebrate the final days of your singleness before your Amra. Since I’m sure you’ll mate with your desedra’s winner as soon as it ends, we’ve got to celebrate now!”

Well, that was weird. “I’ve never heard of that.”

“Probably because you don’t know anyone who’s gotten mated.” Keena grinned. “The party will go until morning, and we’ll get you back just in time to watch our boys kick ass.”

Cheers went up in the crowd with that.

“What do we do to celebrate?” I checked.

Alyx winked. “Drink joval wine and sacrifice a virgin, of course.”

My eyebrows shot skyward, and the women all laughed.

“She’s kidding. At least about the sacrifice part.” Ellery smiled, looking lighter than I’d ever seen her. “We’d planned to do this in Royal, but when Keena and Alyx told us they have a building set aside for it here, we couldn’t resist.”

“Quit talking, so we can get partying!” Keena danced in place. “There’s a bottle of wine calling my name.”

We all walked down a few streets, Keena and Sable shouting invitations to every woman we passed, telling them to “come celebrate with the Queen!”. When we finally reached the two-level building, they dragged me inside. Musicians played instruments, the beat of their music fast enough to make my body want to move. I’d never really danced much, but I decided that I liked it as the music possessed me.

“Did one of you tell Tuslan we wouldn’t be back until the morning?” I asked over the noise of the music.

“Paik and Tomo are doing it!” Keena yelled back. “No need to worry about your lover.”

My body flushed at the title, but… I kind of liked it.

Even more, though, I liked the idea of calling him my mate.

I was disappointed I’d be missing our plans for the night, but the girls had put the party together, and Tuslan and I would have more nights.

Hopefully.

My friends dragged me into a group of dancing women, which seemed to be growing by the minute. There were no men there, but the music grew louder as the feminine crowd got bigger.

I let go of my worries, probably looking like a maniac while I danced but not caring. We were celebrating; why not enjoy it?

When I got tired of dancing, I slipped out of the crowd and dropped down in a chair at the edge of the room. Keeping my invisible physical barrier around myself was natural, but not as easy as it had been before I joined the Blood Pack. I was a bit out of practice, I guess.

I was coated in sweat, and eagerly accepted the first drink someone with a tray of glasses handed me. It was the wine, I assumed, since I’d seen the other women drinking it already. Before Cina’s death, I’d never been allowed to try it myself, so I wasn’t sure if I liked it or not.

Alyx sat across from me, her cheeks stretched in a grin and her face flushed. “Having fun?”

“Yes. It’s nice to let go for a bit,” I admitted, sipping at the drink. It was bitter but somehow sweet too, and my face pinched at the taste. “Wow.”

Alyx laughed. “Never had joval wine before?”

“Nope.”

“It takes some getting-used-to.”

“No kidding.” I took another sip and decided I didn’t hate it. “So to celebrate, we just dance all night?”

She laughed again. Her body was relaxed and her expression brighter than I’d ever seen her. The happiness suited her. “This is only the beginning. After we’re good and drunk and exhausted, we go upstairs for the show.”

“The what?” I lifted my eyebrows.

“We all try on lingerie and walk down a long stage. It’s a tradition that I think came from the humans. And everyone takes home their favorite piece, so it’s fun.” She shrugged. “At mine, I got this adorable green lace bodysuit…” her smile faltered, and her gaze grew distant for a minute before her eyes landed on my glass of wine. “Sorry. Can I have that?”

“Sure.” I handed it over, and she swallowed it in one gulp.

My eyebrows lifted. That was impressive.

“Fucking Dovu.” She stood, holding a hand out to me. “Come on, I need a dance partner.”

“Are you going to tell me more about Dovu later?” I countered.

She made a face. “Depends how drunk I get.”

I laughed. “That’s fair.” Taking her hand, I let her pull me back out in the middle of the dancers.

22

When Sable declared us thoroughly drunk and tired, we ditched the dancing party and headed up the stairs, to the building’s second floor. I looked around a room that contained two huge couches, a long stage, and at least eight dozen racks of what looked to be very skimpy clothing.

“So how do we do this?” I checked. My pulse still beat quickly, nearly in time with the music below us. Some of the sound still floated up to the room we were in. My mind felt a bit fuzzy, but in a happy way that I liked. I hadn’t had much wine, but apparently, it was enough.

“Everyone picks an outfit for someone at random, then after you’re comfortable walking the stage in here, we head down and walk that stage,” Sable explained. “It’ll feel insane at first, but I think the idea is to make you comfortable mostly-naked in front of people so you’re not embarrassed to show your tits to your mate. Though, the tradition was made in a time before people fucked without being mated.”

“You’re right, it sounds insane,” I agreed.

“Come on, Mesa. Live a little,” Keena cackled.

She was even more grinny than usual now that she was drunk, and I wasn’t sure the world could handle her at that ultimate level of grin.

She cackled again. “I’ll pick Ellery’s!”

Yeah, the world definitely couldn’t handle that level of Keena. Good thing the wine’s effect would fade.

Eventually.

“I’ve got Mesa’s,” Alyx grinned wickedly.

“I’ll take Keena’s,” Ellery declared, her eyes flashing with thrill.

“I’ve got Sable’s,” I announced, at the same time she said, “I want Alyx!”

Someone brought us more wine, and we drank while we flipped through the racks. I’d never seen so much sheer fabric, lace, or netting in one place before. The clothes were in every color known to man—and some of it was tasteful, but most wasn’t.

I dreaded what Alyx would find me, but knew I could’ve had worse. If Keena was choosing for me, I’d probably go out covering my nipples with nothing but dental floss.

I picked out a scandalous black lace-up corset and matching thong for Sable, knowing she’d despise wearing black—and grinning because of it. When I handed it over, she laughed evilly and gave Alyx what looked like a frilly white torture device with a puffy tutu-skirt and thigh-high stockings.

Alyx laughed so hard I thought she might fall over, and handed me mine. It was a silky red-lace bodysuit with more empty spots than actual lace. The solid red stripes down the middle would cover less than half of my actual nipples, and the fabric-less stripes on the sides would bare even more.

But the color reminded me of Tuslan. So, it was somehow both hideous and sexy at the same time.

I laughed with the women, and we all got dressed together. There would be a hell of a lot of ass, nipple, and skin on display during the show, but as drunk as we were and given that there were no men in the audience, I didn’t think we’d care.

We all had the same parts anyway, right?

Although mine were squishier. More pillowy, if you used Tuslan’s words.

Ellery came out laughing at herself in a dark pink bra and thong that had a few tiny flowers which hid absolutely nothing. Keena followed her out in a powder-blue version of Ellery’s outfit, laughing so hard that tears streamed down her face.

We danced on the stage for a bit, officially drunk, before we headed down to the catwalk and strutted our stuff. It was the craziest thing I’d ever done, but between the wine, the music, and the laughter, I didn’t even care.

We were celebrating, after all.

The show went on for a few more rounds while we picked new outfits for new people, laughing our faces and asses off before strutting our tits off. By the time the alcohol faded, the party began to clear out and night set in.

“So, what now?” I asked Sable, sipping a little more wine.

“Now, we relax.”

We all made our way down the stairs in our normal bandeaus and underwear, waving at the stragglers. They waved back eagerly, yelling their congratulations while we headed down another staircase I hadn’t noticed earlier.

My lips parted when I saw the hot-springs there. Whether they were natural or had been dug by a shifter, I didn’t know—or care.

“Come on!” Sable dragged me down the stairs, toward the biggest pool. It was larger than any bathtub I’d ever seen, and steam rose from the surface.

“How deep is it?” I asked.

“Not deep,” Alyx called from behind us. “That would be dangerous for our drunk asses.”

“This is the best party ever,” I told the women, staring at the pool like a crazy person.

“You do love water,” Keena agreed, still holding her own filled-to-the-brim wineglass. I didn’t know much about joval wine, but I was pretty sure we were all going to regret drinking so much before the night ended… or at least by the time the morning came around.

Getting settled in the shallow pool, we all sat on our butts and relaxed against the stone walls.

“Are you drunk enough to talk about Dovu yet?” I asked Alyx, as Ellery and Sable started talking about something. Keena was on one side of me, Alyx on the other, and the other two girls across from us.

She grimaced. “No.”

“Here.” Keena reached over me to hand Alyx her wineglass. “Chug.”

Alyx chugged, and then handed the glass back, and Keena hopped out of the pool to go find some more. She came back balancing five glasses and three bottles of wine, somehow.

Ellery and Sable were still talking, so Keena left their glasses by the bottles and handed Alyx and I our own before filling all three.

“Alright, spill,” Keena commanded. “You’re still holding on to that asshole too tightly.”

Alyx grimaced “I know.” She sipped at her wine. “He was just… perfect. I think I might’ve made a mistake when I killed him.” Her face contorted, and my eyes widened.

She shook her head, schooling her expression without crying. “I’m too drunk,” she said, her voice wobbling as she wiped her eyes.

“That’s the point. Get it out.” Keena waved her hand toward Alyx.

“It’s just that Pade messed me up so badly. I thought he was so good, and then he turned out to be a monster, and I—” her face contorted again, and she groaned. “I hate talking about this.”

I patted her hand, where it held her wine glass. “You don’t have to.”

“No, Keena’s right. I’ve been holding on too long. It’s just that Dovu was everything Pade wasn’t. Dovu was gentle, and soft, and sweet. He cared about me, he was careful not to hurt me, and he treated me like I mattered. We were only three days away from our Amra when he broke down and told me why he’d come to our pack in the first place. I just… I reacted like he was Pade. And he was dead so fast, and I—” She stopped herself with a sob, covering her mouth with her hand. “Beasts, I’m a monster.”

“Did you torture him?” Keena growled. 

Alyx shook her head.

“Did you disrespect him?” she checked.

Alyx shook her head again.

“Did you do anything that goes against your personal honor system?” Keena added.

Alyx shook her head a third time.

“Then you’re obviously not a monster, so drop that thought like it’s a fucking Lava shifter and let’s move on to the real problem.” Keena drained her glass again and set it down behind her.

I took another sip of mine.

Alyx sighed. “I’m lonely. Twice, I thought I had a partner to spend my life with. A future. A mate. Now, I’m just… me. And I like myself, but I don’t want to be alone. Honestly, I’m a bit jealous of Paik at this point. He doesn’t care about any of the women he sleeps with, but at least he has people to spend his nights with. I’ve just got a cold bed and hot books.”

Keena grinned. “I knew you liked sexy romance books.”

She shrugged “Who doesn’t?” Her expression fell again. “Did you know, I still have my Amra outfits? Both. It took years to get all the blood off the one from my near-mating with Pade, but I did it. I see them every time I get dressed, and I just… ache.” She drained the rest of her wine and then plopped her face right into the water.

“You know what we’re going to do?” Keena stood abruptly, swaying a bit with the motion.

I reached out to help steady her, but she swatted my hands away.

“What?” Alyx asked. She looked so miserable with water streaming down her face.

“Go to your house, get those outfits, and burn them.”

Alyx blinked. “Do you have a lighter?”

Keena’s face fell.

“I know how to start a fire without a lighter,” I offered. I wasn’t good at it, by any definition of the term, but I could do it. That was what had gotten me caught by the Blood Pack in the first place, after all.

“I have a lighter!” Ellery exclaimed, from her side of the pool.

Thank the beasts.

“You do?” Keena’s eyebrows wrinkled. “Why?”

“I carry them everywhere. I have a lot of pockets.” She shrugged.

That was true; Ellery was always prepared for everything.

“Let’s do it. Let’s burn them. We’ll burn Pade’s and Dovu’s memory and I’ll move on and find some jackhole to share a bed with,” she nodded quickly, the movement rough and jerky.

“He doesn’t have to be a jackhole,” I pointed out.

“He does, or else I’ll fall in love with him,” Alyx argued.

“Given your record, you’ll probably fall in love with him even if he is a jackhole,” Keena pointed out.

Alyx threw her wineglass at our grinning friend, and Keena cackled again as she dodged it.

We pulled our pants on and headed out of the celebration building. Keena carried the wine bottles as we hauled ass through the town, waving and hooting at everyone who waved and hooted at us.

We reached Alyx’s house after a bit, and we all stumbled around the porch while she went in for her Amra outfits. She came back out with golden fabric hanging from sparkling hangers, and shoved all of it into my arms.

“Hold this. I need to burn the rest of their shit too.”

“You kept more of their shit?” Keena called after Alyx. “Why?”

She came out clutching an ornate wooden box to her chest. “I don’t know; because I loved them? It was a mistake, but it was my life. And I loved them,” she repeated.  “And now, I’m moving on. Let’s go.”

She headed toward Tuslan’s trail to the beach.

“Are we walking all the way?” I asked Alyx.

“Yes. If we fly drunk, we’ll break ourselves,” she called back. “And without Tuslan here to turn off the fire, we need water. Lots of water.”

“Tuslan can turn off fire?” I frowned.

“No one turns off fire,” Keena snorted. “Tuslan can put it out, even from a long way away. He just sucks it into himself. It’s freaky.”

I laughed. “Sounds freaky.”

“You’ll see it eventually,” Alyx waved a hand. “Come on.”

We stumbled along the path in the dark. One of the girls had to keep a hand on me the whole time, because I couldn’t see worth a damn, but they saw just fine.

When we finally made it, they were still drunk but I was feeling pretty sober—and pretty exhausted.

I dropped to my ass on the sand, pulling my knees up to my chest and dropping my head to them as dizziness and exhaustion warred within me.

Alyx sat beside me, staring at the ocean while the others searched for firewood. “Should I keep the stuff?” she whispered to me.

“Do the memories make you happy, or help you in any way?” I whispered back.

She considered it. “No.”

“Then you’re probably better off without it. But I won’t judge you if you keep it; they’re your memories.”

There was a moment of silence before she finally said, “I think it’s time to move on.”

“Then burn that shit,” I flashed her a tired smile.

She matched it with her own just as Keena dumped a bit of wine on the wood, and the fire whooshed to life.

Keena whooped with Sable and Ellery, and the women danced around the fire while slowly feeding it more sticks. They needed it to be pretty big if it was going to burn clothing, which luckily, one of them seemed to realize.

I stared at the fire while Alyx went to join the other women. They chatted and laughed, walking around the flames and telling stories that I half-listened to.

Honestly, I just wanted to be in Tuslan’s arms.

Maybe it was because I was human, or maybe it was because I was just me, but I was ready to be home.

But when I thought about home, I didn’t think about the castle; I thought about him.

His arms, his body. His whisper, his laugh. The silk of his voice, the warmth of his skin…

If that wasn’t a sign that I was in love with him, I didn’t know what would be.

The girls dragged me toward the fire when it was time to burn the stuff, and I hooted and hollered with them as we said goodbye to Alyx’s shitty memories. We sat around that fire for hours, trading stories. I didn’t say much until Sable asked me how I fell in love with Tuslan…

And then I talked for hours.

And decided that there was no question; I was in love with the Blood Alpha.

23

Keena flew us back in the early-morning hours, and when we got there, Tuslan was waiting on the beach.

I stumbled into his arms, and he held me fiercely to his chest. He lifted me up, carrying me to my room while Keena and Alyx followed. Somehow, they were steadier than me, even though they’d drank way more than me.

Damn shifter genes.

He shut my door behind us, leaving the women to find their beds in our chunk of the castle. I called out my thank-yous and goodbyes, and they yelled theirs back.

“You need a shower,” he murmured.

“Sorry I missed our date,” I whispered back. “I think I might puke.”

He carried me to the toilet instead of the shower, and sat us both on the floor. His back met the wall, and he held me on his lap while he swept my hair away from my face. Concern was embedded in his expression. “Did you have fun, at least?”

I nodded, then regretted the movement. “It was great. I just drank too much.”

His expression relaxed a bit. “Can I heal you?”

Why hadn’t I thought about that?

“Please do.”

His hand landed on the back of my neck, the gentle touch warming me even before his flames kicked in. The fire relaxed me so much as it healed me of the alcohol’s effects, that I tipped to the side, crashing into Tuslan’s chest.

“How bad do I stink?” I whispered, so damn tired.

“You’ve smelled worse.”

That wasn’t exactly reassuring.

“Can you just turn on the shower and I’ll rinse off quickly?”

“I can help you shower.”

I laughed, the flames feeling so damn good I just wanted to sleep engulfed in them. “You just want to see me naked.”

“Maybe.” His lips twitched.

“The first time you have free reign on my skin while I’m naked, I don’t want to be drunk and sleepy,” I whispered.

“Alright, I’ll just turn the shower on.” He didn’t sound put-out about it, rising from the floor and carrying me to the shower.

“I’m sorry about our night,” I whispered.

He stopped, his hand cupping my face. “You never need to apologize for not fucking me, in any way, Mesa. Especially not when you’ve been out celebrating mating with me. I’m really damn happy that my pack has accepted you so fully.”

“Oh. Well, good.”

He chuckled softly, kissing my forehead. Setting me down on my feet, he leaned me up against the shower’s wall so I didn’t collapse while he stepped into the small cubicle and turned the water on.

He came out a minute later, still entirely dry, and his eyes followed my hands as I tugged my pants down. Or tried to, at least. They’d dried weird after the swimming.

“Want help?” he checked.

“Yes.” I huffed, flinging my hands toward the pants. “Damn things.”

He chuckled, slipping them down my legs easily and then catching my hands to balance me as I stepped out of them.

There was a soft knock at the door, and I remembered the outfit the girls had made me bring back.

“I’ve got it,” I said, nearly tripping over my own feet as I scrambled toward the door.

Tuslan caught me, and he chuckled again. “Easy. Get in the shower and I’ll see what they want.”

My face flushed. “No, I, uh—they just have a bag for me.”

Dammit, did I have to be so awkward?

His smile grew knowing. “I won’t open the bag.”

Relief relaxed my shoulders. “You know how those parties go?”

“I’ve heard.” He kissed me on the lips before heading out to the door.

I finished stripping and stepped under the water.

The bathroom door opened and closed again while I was in the shower.

“Tuslan?” I called out, just to make sure there wasn’t a murderer trying to take me out while I was naked.

“I put the bag of goodies in your closet,” he said. His voice was close, but not too close.

“Goodies?” I narrowed my eyes. “Did you peek?”

“No. I wanted to, though.” His words were playful.

I wondered which of his beast forms that playfulness might’ve come from—and then decided that was just Tuslan, being happy.

“Do you laugh a lot with your friends?” I asked him.

There was a beat of silence. “No. Why?”

“You laugh a lot with me, and I like it. So I was curious.” I shrugged, even though he couldn’t see me.

He was quiet for a moment. “I was playful as a child,” he admitted. “But my mother was very stern. I learned to channel the humor into anger. For a long time, that was the only emotion I felt. The anger. The moment I told you about, when my friend told me he hadn’t started living until he met the female he loved… that was the moment that I started to wake up. The playfulness never came back, though, until I met you.”

I wondered if maybe despite his group of friends, Tuslan had felt as lonely as me for much of his life.

After a moment of silence, he spoke again. “I’m glad you lied about who you were. If I’d known you were a human, a Queen, I don’t think I would’ve seen you; I would’ve seen your humanity and your crown.”

“That stings a little,” I admitted quietly.

“I know. But it’s a truth you deserve to be told.” I heard a soft thud, and peered around the wall of the shower to find Tuslan leaning up against it, the back of his head on the shower’s wall while his eyes focused on the ceiling.

He was beautiful.

And broken, just like me.

It probably made me a terrible person, but I loved that.

Slipping my head back in the shower before he noticed me staring, I grabbed the shampoo. “When we were sitting on the beach today, before we burned Alyx’s things, I realized I wanted to go home. But home wasn’t the castle, or my house in your capitol, or your lair or hoard… it was you. You were the home I wanted to return to. I’ve read about that before, but never actually felt it.”

I bit my lip, scrubbing my hair to fight off the swell of stress that accompanied the acknowledgement as I whispered, “I think I’m in love with you, Red.”

Tendira’s longest moment of silence followed.

I opened my mouth to ask if that was okay, but before I could, he said, “I don’t have the words to express how much that means to me, Mesa.”

My mouth closed.

And then my lips curved, in the tiniest of smiles.

“Why do you smell so uncertain?” he asked.

“Usually when one person tells someone that they love them, the other says it back,” I explained quickly. “Or at least says that they’re getting there or something.”

“You can’t possibly believe I don’t love you,” he scoffed.

I scrubbed my head harder. “I mean, I don’t not think you love me. I’m pretty sure you do. But I’d like to hear it in no uncertain terms, you know? Just a simple, ‘I love you’. So I can’t question it or stress about it.”

He strode into the shower with fire in his eyes and certainty in his stance, and had me pinned to the wall in an instant. His hands cupped my face as his dark orbs stared into my blues.

“I’m naked,” I whispered.

“Deliciously,” he growled in agreement. “Look at my eyes, Mesa. This is me making it very clear that I love you. More than a dragon loves his treasure, more than a leviathan needs the sea, I love you. And I will, for as long as I live. Longer, even.”

His eyes continued staring into mine as he said, “If I thought there was any question about it, I’d have said as much sooner. I love you so much that I’m in here in this damned shower with you, not touching your breasts or your ass or any other gorgeous part of your perfect body.”

His voice grew lower, silkier. “I’d give up every form I possess, every drop of power in my veins, every treasure in my hoard, and every breath in my body if that was required to keep you alive and well and whole. I love you. I am eternally yours. Don’t question that, or I’ll be forced to figure out a better way to prove it.”

“Would the better way involve you being naked too?”

His lips slowly lifted in a feral grin. “Only if you want it to.”

A soft laugh slipped out of me, and I wrapped my arms around his neck before taking his lips in mine. He met me stroke for stroke, kissing me just as fiercely as he’d declared his love for me.

But he pulled away far too soon, stepping back and then out of the shower. His hair, body, and pants were all absolutely soaked, but he didn’t seem to care.

His eyes scanned my body, and I couldn’t have ignored the tent in his pants if I’d tried.

Of course, I didn’t try.

When he lifted his gaze from my figure, I was fighting a smile and his voice was rough. “Hurry up and finish in here so I can hold you while we sleep. I have a competition to win for you tomorrow.”

I stopped fighting the smile and let it free. “You think you’ll win tomorrow?”

He paused. “Probably not. But I’ll be much closer than I am now.”

“Good.”

I rinsed my hair and shut off the water, then accepted the towel he held out for me. The bathroom door opened as Tuslan left, and I stepped out of the shower. After drying off a bit, I wrapped the towel around my middle and headed for my closet.

Emerging in my sleep shorts and bandeau, I found Tuslan on the bed already, his hair still damp but his skin dry, and his legs covered in what looked like softer fabric than I’d seen him wear before.

I shut off the lights before heading to the bed. Sliding over the mattress, I settled into place with half my body sprawled over his chest.

“New pants?” I asked.

“I thought they’d be more comfortable for you and your ridiculously soft skin.” His hand stroked my back before he tugged me up on top of him, so I rested on his chest. “Good pillow,” he murmured, patting me on the ass.

I snorted. “Beasts, Tuslan.”

He chuckled. “I’m kidding.” His hands moved up to rest on my lower-back.

Part of me wanted to take advantage of the erection that was making it obvious he wasn’t feeling tired, but… I was sleepy.

I’d take advantage of his non-sleepiness tomorrow.

“Goodnight,” I whispered into his chest.

“Goodnight.” He paused. “I love you, Leviathan.”

“I love you too, Red.”

His chest did that nearly-silent rumble thing, and I fell asleep with my lips curved up in a smile.

24

We headed out to the desedra the next morning hand-in-hand. I announced the start of the day’s maze, for the first time in multiple desedra days, and then headed out to the canopy.

The day was uneventful, unless you counted the constant swell and throb of the stress-ball in my stomach.

Which I didn’t. Because that damn thing seemed there to stay.

So I walked around the tent, waiting for our men to emerge, whole and alive and fine and still in the competition.

According to Keena and Alyx and Ellery, the other Blood Pack men were being taken out left and right. Mostly just taken out of the contest, but some were killed too. They were trying to defend the Alpha and his lead wolves, which was both noble and stupid.

I loved them for it, though.

By the time the desedra ended, the competition was down another hundred men.

I didn’t bother pretending to be friendly to the other packs, anymore. They were targeting my friends and the man that I loved. If they wanted to form a truce or really believed they cared about me, I would be happy to befriend them.

But they just wanted my power.

When Tuslan came strolling out of the maze, less than twenty minutes to spare, I wanted to run over there and throw my arms around him and hug the shit out of him. But Keena held me in the damned tent, reminding me that I was still the Queen and I was supposed to look strong.

I was starting not to give a shit about looking strong; I just wanted to look and feel loved.

While my eyes were trained on Tuslan, someone came up to talk to me.

I barely glanced his way, then did a double-take when I saw the Valley dragon I’d met on the first day of the desedra.

“Carse?” I asked.

“Yep.” He gave me a forced smile. “Still firmly on team Blood, I see.”

“Yup.” I didn’t force a smile back, eyes tracking Tuslan as he moved through the crowd. “What do you want?”

He barked a laugh. “Not so careful with our words, are we?”

“Why should I be? You and the rest of the people here are choosing to fight against the man I’ve chosen to be my mate and the pack I’ve chosen to align myself with. If you don’t give a shit about my feelings, why should I pretend to care about yours? Because you’re a shifter, and I’m a human? Or because I’m a woman, and you’re a man?”

His eyebrows lifted.

Not expecting that, I guess. 

“I just wanted to ask about the babies,” he said.

Oh.

Well.

I did love the babies. And they needed me.

“We’ve got about two hundred infants who haven’t shifted to human yet,” he explained. “The numbers grew while you were in hiding.”

In hiding?

What a shitty way to think about it.

In hiding suggested that the hiding was a choice, and that there were other options one could choose.

“I wasn’t in hiding, I was protecting myself from the monsters on this damned continent who want me dead for being human,” I corrected. “But yes, I’ll help your infants. Bring them tomorrow.”

His head bobbed. “Thank you.”

“You can thank me by fighting for me, instead of against me.” I narrowed my eyes at him. “And if you’re not going to do that, don’t bother pretending to care about me. I’m tired of all the bullshit.”

“What’s going on here?” Tuslan stepped up behind me, his hands curling protectively over my hips.

Protectively… or maybe possessively.

“The Valley Pack has a group of infants that need the Queen’s blessing,” Carse said stiffly. “She’s agreed to help us.”

Tuslan’s chest rumbled against my back. “You say that like it’s a surprise. My Queen helps everyone she can get her pretty little fingers on.”

“And you’re not going to try to stop her?” Carse’s voice grew cold.

I laughed. Snorts, chuckles, and cackles came from everyone in the tent. He looked around, a bit confused.

“I’ve never forced Mesa to do a damned thing. If I tried, she’d just throw a barrier between us. But I have no desire to do that, anyway. She’s magnificent as is; why would I try to change her?”

Carse looked a bit surprised by the words. “That’s not what I’ve heard.”

“If everyone trusted rumors, the Tidal Pack wouldn’t dare try to kill me. They’d fear losing their humanity.” I gave him a brittle smile. “Yet here I am, having survived many of their attacks. Ironic that you think the Blood Pack is a threat to me, isn’t it?”

He blinked a few times. “I’d better get going. I’ve got infants to carry,” he finally said.

“Better,” I agreed.

He walked off, but Zeva flaunted her way over just as he disappeared into the crowd.

“If you’re blessing the Valley babies, you’ll do ours too,” she declared.

“Was that a question?” I lifted an eyebrow.

“No.”

“Then you’ll have to bring it up with my scheduler and see when I have time to fit you in.” I turned away, pulling Tuslan with me. He wore a smirk, though there were dark circles under his eyes and dried blood speckles on his arms.

Usually he would’ve burned them away with his flames. Since he didn’t, I had to assume he was just too exhausted.

“Mesa,” Zeva snapped somewhere behind me.

“It’s Queen Mesa, actually,” I said coldly.

“The Blood Queen refuses to even bless babies anymore? Who knew the Blood Alpha could corrupt even a fragile, innocent hum—“

My jaw dropped as Ellery’s elbow slammed into Zeva’s nose. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” Ellery seethed. “Respect the Queen or get your ass out of here. Pick someone else to communicate on behalf of your pack—and send them to me, until we get our scheduler on the same page as us.”

Zeva clutched her nose, glaring at Ellery while blood trickled down her lips and chin.

“You were always a bitch,” Zeva growled at Ellery, who smirked.

“Then she definitely belongs with us.” Keena’s grin was savage as she draped her arm over Elle’s.

Zeva flipped us her middle finger before striding away.

“Queen Mesa?” a woman I didn’t recognized called my name from a few feet away. I turned toward her, and Tuslan’s hand found mine instead of my hip.

My eyebrows lifted when I noticed the woman was wearing fabric across her shoulders and hip, carrying a wriggling wolf pup trapped within it.

She looked even more exhausted than Tuslan.

“I’ve traveled here from the Rain Pack,” she explained as she approached. My eyes were trained on the little wolf—the adorable and wiggling little sand-colored monster.

“By foot?” I asked.

“By paw and foot, with a group of other women with infants. We came with the men for the desedra, but they were quicker than us.”

Wow.

The trip from Rain was about the same distance from where we’d been in Blood, and that had been weeks of traveling. It was miserable as a single adult; I couldn’t imagine doing it with a baby.

Even one as adorable as the little wolf in her fabric-pouch.

“You’re my new heroes,” I told the woman.

She gave me a tired smile. “Who should I talk to about scheduling a time for you to bless them? We would really appreciate having babies with skin.”

Yeah, I could imagine a wolf pup would be quite the menace.

“I might be able to fit you in tomorrow afternoon, but it depends on how many Valley babies there are,” I apologized. The Valley Pack always had the most babies, by a lot. “If not then, it would be two days later.”

Three extra days sounded like a lot of extra time with a furry baby, though. At least to me it did.

She grimaced, telling me she thought the same.

“Unless you want to do it tonight,” I suggested. Her eyes lit up. “How many babies do you have?” I could usually do about five to ten an hour. If I really wanted to I could’ve gone faster, but I’d never been willing to risk hurting the baby somehow by doing it wrong. And I still wasn’t.

“About fifty.”

Yikes.

Five to ten hours, but I was out of practice, so probably closer to ten.

Which would put me at around the time I’d start on the Valley Pack babies. I might get two or three hours of sleep.

But… the woman looked so hopeful, and there wasn’t anyone else who could do it. If I missed a few hours of sleep, I could catch up over the next few days. The baby’s mother probably wouldn’t catch up for five or ten years.

“Well, that’s doable.” I flashed her a smile, and her whole body seemed to relax.

“Thank you.”

Ellery strode over to the woman. “I’ll get them set up in the throne room.”

“Good call.” We usually did it in the ballroom, but there were probably bodies in there. Or just unconscious wolves.

Not to mention the terrible memories of that place.

Yeah, the throne room would be perfect.

“Maybe drag in some couches? I don’t want to sit on that damn throne all night, and I’m sure the moms don’t either.” I paused. “Maybe some toys for the pups too? And a gate, to trap the little monsters in?”

Ellery nodded.

“I’ll help,” Paik said with a grin, catching Ellery quickly. “It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten to hold a wolf pup. May I?” he asked the mom as they walked off.

I’d never seen a woman hand anything over as quickly as she handed him her baby.

Of course, she watched Paik’s hold on her baby like a mama-bear, but I imagined that pouch got pretty cumbersome after a while.

“How long will that take?” Tuslan asked.

“Why? You have big, sexy plans?” Keena teased him.

“He’s dead on his feet, Keen. I’m sure he’s just tired,” Alyx said.

But all of us saw the sly wink she shot me.

I snorted. “It’s going to take most of the night, so our plans are going to have to wait.” I glanced at Tuslan. “You can go take a nap, though.”

He looked offended by the offer. “I’m the Blood Alpha, female. I don’t need naps.”

“If a fragile little human can stay up all night, so can the big bad leviathan, right?” Keena mocked.

“Ease up, Axe,” Tomo growled.

She barely managed to dodge his hand when he reached for her. “When did I tell you that you could touch me?”

“Clore lost his head today. Isn’t that enough of a reason to get a hug?” Tomo shot back.

“What?” Alyx asked.

I didn’t know who Clore was, but the way Keena’s face fell told me he mattered.

“What happened?” she asked.

“The same thing that’s happened to too many of our people; the other packs’ alliance.” Tuslan shoved his free hand through his hair.

“Damn. I’m going to have to tell Ulah,” Keena sighed.

Tomo tried to pull her in for a hug, but she ducked under his arm and strode away from the castle. “I’ll be back in the afternoon,” she called over her shoulder.

Tomo followed her, so I assumed he would be back whenever she was.

“I’ll go see what I can do about pack morale,” Alyx murmured. “It might be time to consider trying to buy allies at this point.”

Tuslan’s nostrils flared, but he jerked his head in a nod. “We’ll meet when Keena and Tomo are back.”

Alyx nodded and headed off toward the castle.

“Come on.” I tugged Tuslan in the same direction Alyx had gone, and he walked beside me silently. “How tired are you?”

He dodged my question easily. “There are worse things to be than tired.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“But it is a fact.”

“Tuslan,” I warned.

“Mesa.” He lifted our intertwined fingers, his lips meeting the back of my hand. “When the competition ends, the only thing that will matter is that I’ve given my all.”

“All that will matter is that you’ve won,” I argued.

His lips lifted in a slight, sad smile. “Exactly.”

Positive Mesa, at his service. 

“Who was Clore?”

“A friend. He ran the group of lead wolves who kept our second largest city functioning,” Tuslan said simply. “The leads that you know are only a fraction of those that keep our pack running.”

“I’m sorry,” I admitted.

Clore wouldn’t have died if not for me. I wasn’t oblivious enough to believe he was the only good man who had died or would die in my desedra, either. Good people were losing their lives, because of me.

His voice grew a bit softer. “There are casualties in every war, Phoenix.”

I think he realized I felt bad about what happened to his friend. “I’m still sorry.”

I wasn’t naïve enough to tell him that maybe he should back off and let someone else win. Tuslan was tired, not changed or stupid. And giving up would mean that his people died in vain. Since Tuslan valued life, I knew he wouldn’t accept that.

He just needed rest, but he wouldn’t get it unless I forced him.

25

I led him to the bathrooms near the ballroom instead of going straight to the throne room.

“What are we doing?” he asked as we stepped into the women’s bathroom.

“I’m cleaning you up.” I locked the door behind us, dragging him to the sink. “Sit on the counter.” I gestured to it before striding over to the other door and locking that one too. “We’re alone in here, right?”

He could hear signs of life that I couldn’t.

“Yes.”

“Good. Then sit on the damn counter, like I said.”

His lips twitched. “You’re sexy when you order me around, Leviathan.”

“I know.” I flashed him a smirk as I opened the cupboards beneath the counter, looking for the cleaning cloths I knew were stored beneath it.

Tuslan sat where I’d instructed him to while I pulled out the old towels I’d been looking for.

“How burnt out is your fire?” I checked.

He didn’t answer, watching me shove one end of the towel under the running water in the sink.

“On a scale of one to five, if one is ‘I have no fire left’ and five is ‘I could love-burn you with my eyes, I’m so toasty,’ where are you?”

His lips twitched again. “Three.”

I grabbed his hand, still dotted in dried blood, and held it up between us. “Burn this away, then.” 

He grimaced, not bothering to try. “Would it please you if I said one?”

“No. I don’t want you to be weak, Tuslan. I want you to tell me the truth, even if you don’t like it.” I adjusted my grip on his hand, starting to scrub at the dried blood. It didn’t come off easily, but slowly, it began to disappear. “Remember talking about that?”

“I’m sure I would if I had some sleep,” he admitted. “I couldn’t sleep much while you were in my cave—or when you were gone last night.”

“I need you to take care of yourself, Red.” I lowered the towel, looking up so I could meet his eyes. “I need you at your full-strength. You’re going to win the desedra, but you’re not going to do it like this.”

His sigh told me he knew that. “I despise my weaknesses.”

“I think everyone does.” I resumed scrubbing his hand, then moving up his arm and over his chest. “You need a shower.”

“I won’t be getting one, unless you’re going with me back to our room.”

“I’m not. The shower can wait; you’re going to sleep.”

“I’ll sleep beside you in my wolf form, while you help the babies.” His eyes narrowed at me, daring me to disagree.

“I’ll have Paik bring in a rug.”

He scowled. “I don’t need a rug. I’m the damned Blood Alpha.”

I rolled my eyes. “You’ll sleep better on a rug, Damned Blood Alpha. Since I’m the Blood Queen, I outrank you.”

“Is that so?” I saw the flash of challenge in his eyes. He wanted the verbal sparring, the playing. I wouldn’t play long, since he needed to rest and I needed to help some adorable babies, but I wanted that too.

“Yes. The Blood Alpha rules a pack; the Blood Queen rules a continent.” I spread my arms, still holding the rag. “A whole world of shifters, and they’re all mine.”

He smiled wickedly. “Yet even the Blood Queen needs an Alpha to tie herself to. When you’re mine, you’ll heal at my pace. Run at my pace. Live at my pace. I’ll even have access to your power… And I’d say that will make me the true ruler of Tendira.”

I dropped the rag, setting my hands on Tuslan’s thighs and going up on my tiptoes. His head tilted down, his hands gripping the edges of the counter. I lifted my lips further until our mouths were only a breath apart.

He waited for me to cover the distance, but I didn’t.

“Yet who controls you, Alpha?” My lips brushed his as I said the words. “Who stops you when you go too far? Who has the final say in how your extensive power is used? Who will you do anything to protect?”

His lips met mine softly, briefly, answering for him.

“So who really rules Tendira, Tuslan?”

A low chuckle made my lips curve against his. He didn’t answer, but we both knew I’d won.

“That’s right.” I pressed my mouth to his.

His hand slid around the back of my neck, and I parted my lips to deepen the kiss. A soft growl escaped him, and he lifted me up onto the counter with him. Our lips and tongues continued to fight while I straddled him, my hands finding his hair and neck while his found the curve of my hips and ass.

I broke away after a few minutes, before I got too horny. His fingers were getting precariously close to my love burn. If they made it there, that wouldn’t lead to him getting the rest he needed or to me blessing the furry babies so their mamas could have a break from their tiny running paws and sharp teeth.

“You have to sleep,” I told him.

He bit down gently against my neck, his voice rough as he said, “After the desedra…”

“After I help the babies,” I corrected.

His eyes darkened, but then he yawned. A massive, gigantic yawn that even spread to me, it was so contagious.

“I guess I should stop arguing,” he grumbled.

“Probably,” I agreed.

I finished scrubbing him free of blood a few minutes later, and then we headed to the throne room.

Tuslan walked in with me in his human form. He let me go with a kiss to my forehead before making his way to the loveseat someone had placed a few feet in front of the thrones.

Pups ran rampant through the room, slipping and sliding left and right while their moms watched on. A few remained close, consoling and helping their babies up when they fell, but most simply called out words of encouragement when their little ones crashed.

I went straight to Paik, who was wrestling a tiny pup, and sent him to find a thick rug. He saluted me before leaving…with the pup.

The pup’s mom ran after him, and I heard his chuckle even from within the throne room.

Ellery’s eyes followed him even after he left. I nudged her with my shoulder. “Got your eyes on someone?”

“He’s a very cute pup,” she said.

I grinned. “The man holding him is pretty hot too.”

There was a growl behind me, and I didn’t have to glance back to know it was Tuslan. His hands were on my hips a moment later, dragging me a few steps from Ellery, but not so far that she and I couldn’t talk.

“What, do you want me to lie?” I contorted my head to look at Tuslan, teasing him with a grin. “Your whole pack knows Paik’s hot.”

He tilted my head to the side with his nose and buried his face in my neck, his teeth biting down gently on sensitive skin that I knew already held his mark. “Your eyes are for me.”

Ellery’s lips twitched as she forced herself not to smile, finally looking away from the doorway. “Don’t piss off a possessive male or you’ll find yourself locked in a tower, Mesa.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time he locked me somewhere. Probably wouldn’t be the last, either.”

“Probably not.” Another growl escaped him. “Especially if you’re ogling my friends.”

“Pointing out a fact isn’t ogling,” I countered. “I wasn’t staring at his ass or imagining him naked. That would be ogling, and the only one I ogle is you.”

The words seemed to satisfy him a bit.

A chubby gray pup suddenly skidded across the floor, sliding toward us with a panicked squeal until she crashed into Tuslan’s leg.

The whole room seemed to go silent.

The pup’s mother rushed toward us. “I’m so sorry, Blood Alpha. She doesn’t know any better, and—”

She cut herself off as Tuslan crouched down. His gigantic hands helped the little puffball back up to her wobbly paws. “No need to apologize. Little warriors have to start somewhere.”

The woman stared at Tuslan, a bit shocked as he scratched the pup’s tiny head. She licked his fingers before taking off back toward her mom.

Tuslan stood, his hand finding my hip again.

He’d somehow just managed to get sexier.

Paik picked that moment to return with a gigantic rolled-up rug in one arm and that same little pup in the other. The little one’s mom walked beside him, her expression relaxed.

Tuslan gave a soft growl and dragged me back toward the couch—which was where Paik was headed, anyway, so that didn’t make much sense.

“Everyone will be helped,” Ellery announced to the fifty women in the room. The woman who usually organized the baby-blessings slipped into the room with a stack of numbered cards in her hands. Giving out numbers was the easiest way to keep things running smoothly.

She gave the stack of cards to Ellery, her eyes flicking to Paik and Tuslan as Tuslan sat me down on the couch and went to help Paik with the rug. Her gaze grew worried before she slipped back out of the room as quietly as she’d entered.

Ellery handed the cards out to the new mothers while Tuslan returned to my side. He took a seat next to me and draped his arm over my shoulders as he surveyed the crowd of tired moms and fluffy pups.

“You’re sleeping through this,” I reminded him.

“I’ll sleep after I’ve seen you work miracles.” His lips met my forehead, and then dipped to my ear. “Should you smell like another man when I wake up, I won’t be able to control myself.” The words were low enough that I doubted even another five-form could’ve overheard. “I’d prefer not to kill any of my closest friends.” He sucked my earlobe softly, making me shiver.

“Message received,” I mumbled. “No sleeping with random men while you’re unconscious.”

A rough chuckle escaped him, and his teeth bit gently down on my neck again. “You’re lucky that was a joke, female. If you’d said it seriously, I’d have no choice but to drag you back to our room and remind you that you’re mine.”

Damn, that sounded good.

“Your possessiveness isn’t shrinking any, Tuslan. Will mating help?”

“No. When you’re mine in every way, I’ll be even more protective of you. Every part of you.” His fingers stroked my arm.

Well, crap.

Ellery commanded the attention of everyone in the room. Usually there was a whole speech given about how lucky the shifters were to have the Queens, and yada-yada-ya.

I’d always found it ridiculous, so now that Cina was gone, I stood up and walked to Ellery’s side before she could start with the speech.

“Thank you for trusting me with your children,” I told the women. “I know you don’t have an alternative, but I appreciate it any way. I feel blessed to be able to help your babies.” The room wasn’t quiet, with little ones running and howling and barking adorably, but I could tell I had the women’s attention, which was all that mattered.

Gesturing to the couch, I said, “I’ll remain seated there, and you’ll bring the babies up when it’s your turn. I know it’s getting late, so if you need to step out to grab anything, just let Ellery or Paik know.” I gestured to the woman beside me, and then the man leaning up against a wall a few feet away. He waved when I announced him.

I slipped back to the couch, and Tuslan’s arm went back over my shoulders as soon as I was seated. The side of his body pressed against mine, and he was as delightfully warm as always.

26

The first woman approached with a snoring wolf pup cradled in her arms. His little legs stuck nearly straight up in the air. The woman bowed her head a bit toward me, and her gaze flicked uneasily to Tuslan.

“The Blood Alpha will be my mate,” I told her. “You have nothing to fear from him, unless you’re trying to kill me.”

She nodded, and then wordlessly lowered her pup to my outstretched arms. I slipped a soundproof physical barrier over my skin, including the pup in the protection. I could no longer feel Tuslan’s touch with it up, and I’m sure he noticed that he couldn’t feel me either, but he didn’t protest or anything.

The barrier was to protect both me and the baby while I helped him or her, and while it wasn’t strictly necessary, it was important to me to be as careful as possible with them.

My eyes closed, and I slipped the tiniest bit of magic into the little wolf’s consciousness. Because of their size, finding the place where a baby’s forms met was much more difficult than in an adult. There was less space to search, but the forms were also far less developed. And I checked them much more slowly, just to be safe.

A few minutes passed before I found the baby’s forms. A frown tugged my lips down when I did. The wolf was disconnected from the human, as I’d expected; that was always the case until barrier magic separated them. But the wolf’s energy was much larger than the human’s.

I didn’t think that would affect the baby’s transition, but it would need to be addressed.

My magic carefully slipped between the forms, both separating and attaching them. The baby instantly shifted in my arms, skin replacing fur. He was heavier in human form, but also squishier.

I withdrew my magic from him slowly. He remained asleep as I opened my eyes, and my gaze landed on a perfect little chubby monster. The soundproof layer of the barrier stripped away early, as I watched the baby for signs of movement. His lips lifted in a sleep-smile, and I could’ve melted.

“Adorable,” I cooed, tapping his tiny nose because I couldn’t resist. 

“Thank you,” the woman breathed. Her eyes were watery, as many of the mothers were when they laid eyes on their baby’s human form for the first time.

“It was my pleasure.” I smiled, removing my barrier and handing the baby back to his mother. She cradled her treasure to her chest, tightly. “There’s one thing, though. How old is he?”

“About five months,” she admitted. “I got here a few days after the castle had been taken over, and had to return home.”

I nodded. “He’s perfectly fine, and perfectly healthy, but his wolf form is much stronger than his human. To level them out, you should just try to keep him in his skin for a good portion of every day.”

She didn’t look surprised by that. The same thing would happen with any shifter who didn’t spend enough time in one of their forms, after all. “I will.”

She thanked me again before slipping away.

“That was incredible,” Tuslan murmured. There was a layer of shock in his voice that I’d never heard before.

“Babies are magical,” I agreed, my lips parting in another smile.

Tuslan remained beside me for the next hour while I worked through the infants, helping them with their first shifts. Someone brought food in then, and he forced me to stop and eat.

He ate with me, and after our food was gone, he kissed me and then shifted to his wolf form, plopping down on the rug just a few feet from me and falling asleep almost immediately.

Over the next hour, little wolves wormed their way away from their mothers and went to join Tuslan on the rug. They snuggled up to my giant white wolf, probably appreciating his warmth as much as I always did. Without fail, every baby who went over there ended up asleep in under a minute.

When three hours had passed, I was halfway done with the kids, and took another short break to walk around and drink some water.

“He looks like he could swallow one of those pups in one bite,” Ellery murmured to me.

I grinned. “He wouldn’t hurt a fly if it was as cute as those pups.”

Her lips curved in a slight smile.

My gaze remained on my male. He was definitely asleep, quiet snores escaping him with every breath. Baby wolves of every size and color were snuggled against him, or laying on his back, or sleeping draped over his paws.

Every time a mother had to grab one, she eyed me, like she expected me to attack her for getting close to Tuslan to do it. Without a shifter’s nose though, it wasn’t like I’d be able to smell them on him. Even if I could, I could clearly see they weren’t trying to flirt with him.

He was just a comfy bed for the pups. And since I already knew he made a comfortable bed, I wasn’t surprised the babies agreed. They were smart little beasts.

Plus, I put a bit of a barrier over him whenever they got close.

Shh; that was a secret. I had to protect my Alpha when he was vulnerable, though.

We kept going until early into the morning. Ellery had talked to Carse, instructing him to get the Valley babies there by six AM. It was going to take a damn long time to get through all two hundred babies they had.

By the time I finally finished helping the last Rain infant shift, we only had three hours or so to sleep. Tuslan looked so peaceful that I didn’t have the heart to wake him up or move him, so I just walked over to the rug and plopped down beside him.

Paik and Ellery both shifted to their wolf forms, and she slept up against the door while he got half-comfortable on one of the other couches they’d dragged in for the baby’s mothers.

Tuslan snuggled up to me, squishing me with his massive body until half of me was draped over his furry back the way he wanted it. He was softer than any blanket, and so damn warm that I fell asleep almost instantly.

Ellery called my name quietly, waking me as footsteps sounded outside the doors. I sat up, rubbing my eyes with the back of my arm. Tuslan’s nose met my neck, inhaling deeply before licking it.

“Go back to sleep,” I whispered, scratching his head.

He growled at me, but the noise cut off when I scratched behind his ear. The scratches earned me a soft rumble that made me smile sleepily. “You need to rest, Red. Sleep.” I hugged him gently before getting up.

“You look like you just had quite the tumble between the sheets,” Paik remarked, meeting me on my way to the doors.

I tried to finger-comb my hair, but the damned waves were just as tangled as always. It was absolutely hopeless. “You need to sleep too,” I told him, straightening my top and pants.

“I slept plenty while the Alpha was all beasty.” Paik brushed it off. “I’ll go to bed early tonight.”

I wanted to argue with him, to force him into bed or something. But I really didn’t have any sway over Paik, so I didn’t bother. I’d choose my battles, and if I had to fight, I’d stick to fighting with Tuslan.

At least those fights could end with our lips locked.

Carse led the group of women in, his arms loaded with little pups. He lifted his eyebrows when he saw me; guess my finger-combing didn’t help.

“Find seats on couches or the floor,” Ellery instructed. “The Queen was up most of the night blessing the Rain infants, so don’t be assholes.”

Understanding dawned in Carse’s gaze. He set the wiggling pups down a few feet into the room and stepped closer to me, but then his eyes landed on Tuslan’s sleeping form. “How do you expect us to keep the pups from waking him?”

“Tuslan doesn’t mind being a jungle-gym. There were forty Rain wolves climbing on him during the night, and he didn’t even budge. It’s been a long couple of days.” My hands slipped in my pockets. “Every pup who goes over there seems to fall asleep. I think his fire relaxes them.”

“Why would dragon fire relax anyone?” Carse frowned.

“The phoenix fire; not the dragon fire.” I corrected. “And if you don’t think it’s relaxing, you’ve never felt it. That shit’s like a drug.”

Ellery passed me, and I grabbed her arm. “I’ll take half.”

She looked like she was going to argue, but finally closed her mouth and gave me half the stack. We went around the room, handing out the thick cards.

I noticed a mom trying to herd her little wolf away from Tuslan, and announced, “The Blood Alpha won’t hurt your babies. He’s here because he’s going to be my mate when he’s won the desedra, and he wants me safe. As long as you’re not trying to kill me, he won’t give you any problems.”

Women exchanged glances I couldn’t read, but I decided not to give a shit about the possible meanings. If they wanted to waste their time trying to keep their kids away from Tuslan, that was their own problem.

I walked past Tuslan on my way back to my couch, and he licked my ankle as I passed. I shot him a grin, and his lips lifted in a wolfy smile even though his eyes remained shut.

Ellery and I gave instructions quickly like I had the night before, and then we began.

Carse left a few times throughout the day, and returned with the castle’s chefs shortly afterward. They set out small feasts for breakfast, lunch, snacks, and dinner. I took breaks to eat, bringing Tuslan food too. He’d swallow the food quickly, eyeing the little wolves snuggled up to him.

It took the moms a few hours to accept that their babies wanted to snuggle the Blood Alpha, but eventually they gave up trying to keep the little furries away from my sleeping wolf.

I decided he was eating quickly in an attempt not to wake them up, and thought it was adorable.

Our feasts were only a small representation of the food in the dining hall, I knew, but I was done trying to play nice with the rest of the competitors in my desedra. They could use the feasts to bond some more over their dislike for me if they wanted; I had crap to do.

After the fighting was over and my mate was decided, I’d work on befriending the other packs again.

We were up just as late with the Valley wolves as we’d been with the Rain ones. By the time we were done, I was ready to stumble back to my bed and crash.

Tuslan stirred, shifting back to his human form and sitting beside me as I finished with the last infant. When she left and Carse followed her out, I groaned and sagged against Tuslan.

“Tired?” he murmured, his lips meeting my forehead.

“So tired,” I sighed. “Can you carry me back to my room?”

“Of course.” He kissed my forehead again before standing, scooping me up off the couch. He kicked Paik as we passed the snoring wolf—not hard, of course. “Come on,” he told his friend.

Paik chuffed, standing and trotting out behind us. Ellery was behind him, and I flashed her a tired smile. “Thanks.”

“Of course.” She gave me a small smile back. “The Sand and Pine women arrived today. Word’s spread that you’re blessing again.”

I nodded against Tuslan’s arm; I’d figured as much. “How many?”

Sand and Pine both had nearly as many babies as the Valley pack most of the time.

“About three hundred between the two of them.”

Damn.

“From the sound of it, Lava’s and Fringe’s new mothers are on their way too. Their representatives have already warned me. They have only fifty between them, luckily.”

“And Tidal?” I asked.

“I assumed you’d turn them down,” she admitted.

I scowled. “I’m not turning down infants, Elle. We can have someone else walk the babies to me if we need to, but I’m not leaving infants trapped in one form just because their parents are bastards.”

She nodded. “They have a dozen babies that would like to turn.”

“And Blood?” I looked up at Tuslan.

He glanced over at Paik.

“Keena spoke with Ulah while she was there; we’ve got two-fifty.”

Hot damn.

I grimaced. “Shit.”

It was going to be a long week.

Since when were Blood newborns outnumbering the other packs, though? I didn’t really pay attention to the numbers when I was Human Queen, so it wasn’t surprising that I’d missed it. But that was significantly more than the other fastest-growing packs.

“How many competitors are left in the competition?” I asked Tuslan.

“Around three hundred.”

Well, they were making good progress at least. 

“How many more rounds do you think there will be?”

“Hard to say. Fifty of the remaining competitors are Blood, and they’ll withdraw when we’ve gotten through the other packs. The rest are fairly evenly divided between the packs, though the Sands and Tidals are out entirely,” he explained. “We’ll probably need another five or six rounds to finish.”

Damn. That was ten to twelve days; nearly two weeks.

“We’ll have to stagger the babies on feast days,” Ellery said. “It’s not feasible for you to work around the clock until they’ve all been blessed. It’ll weaken you.”

She was probably right.

“We could do fifty babies on desedra days, and one-fifty on feast days,” I said.

“One hundred,” Tuslan corrected. “You need more sleep than this.”

I scoffed at him, but he was right.

“At that pace, we’ll finish in about a week. That’s not an outrageous amount of time to make them wait,” Ellery said.

She was right; it wasn’t that bad.

“We’ll do Blood’s first, and then Sand. Then Lava and Fringe, and then Pine and Tidal,” I listed them off. The people from packs who were working against me could wait the longest.

“I’ll set it up.” Ellery nodded.

“Ulah would probably like to take over as scheduler when we’re back in Blood,” Paik said.

I scowled. “The Alpha of Tuslan’s fan club?”

Paik grinned. “She likes that shit. And you’ll have matching golden lalidros by then, so what does it matter?”

It was the principle of the thing.

But… fine, it was petty.

“Alright. But if she hits on him, I’m firing her.”

27

Tuslan and his leads decided to postpone their planning meeting until after the next round of the desedra, and we went to sleep only minutes after getting back to my rooms. I fell asleep in Tuslan’s arms, my barrier wrapped around both of us like a second skin.

The desedra went by much faster while I was helping the babies, though we had to do it outside to keep the castle clear for the maze’s sake.

By the time Tuslan made it out, the competition was down another sixty men, and only two of them were Blood. We left the field, heading inside for a pack council meeting. Tuslan’s fingers were intertwined with mine, his skin completely clear of blood and his expression more relaxed than he’d been in days. All the sleep definitely seemed to have helped him.

When we reached Cina’s old space, Tuslan dragged me to a big chair in the sitting area and collapsed into it, taking me down with him. A grin split my cheeks as he settled me on his lap, his arms around me and his face buried in my neck. My hair was a tangled mess that I hadn’t had time to brush in days, but he didn’t care.

Alyx, Keena, and Paik sat together on a couch, while Ellery leaned against the couch’s armrest and Tomo took another single seat like the one Tuslan and I were in.

“Alright, what’s the plan?” Alyx checked, looking at Tuslan.

He lifted his nose from my neck, tugging me closer and setting his chin on my head. “We press forward. The other packs are working together, but they aren’t winning. We only took two losses, and they all took between eight and fifteen.”

“By losses do we mean deaths?” I asked.

“There were only two deaths today,” Paik answered for Tuslan. “Both Lava, killed on purpose. Most of the losses are men that were taken down and tied up, then throw in a random bedroom until the time ran out.”

Damn.

Well, that was better than fifty deaths.

“We’re thinning their ranks, and they know it. They’re getting desperate, and that only makes us stronger. We already have the advantage given that our pack is made up of those strong enough to walk away from the places they were born; all we need is time to let that advantage work.”

Keena, Alyx, and Ellery all nodded. I didn’t think it was a fantastic plan, but I did think it could work. And what else was there to do?

“The biggest problem we have right now, is her.” Tomo flung a hand out toward me.

My defenses rose immediately.

I mean, sure, I could be considered a disadvantage given everyone was only fighting because of me. But I wasn’t a problem.

Tomo explained, “The Tidals are still after her, but they’ve gone silent. And for them, that’s worse than what they’ve been doing.”

Well, since the Tidals were after me, I guess that could make me a problem…

“She’s not a problem.” Tuslan’s voice was calm, but deadly. “The damned Tidals are the issue. And after I win the contest, we’ll deal with them.”

Did I want to know what that meant?

“You want to raze the Tidal Pack?” Keena asked, grinning widely. “I’m in.”

Tuslan corrected her. “It’s going to take more than a single attack. We don’t know how deep their allegiances are; we’re going to have to torture the information out of some high-ranking Pines.”

My chest clenched. I didn’t want anyone tortured because of me; I wasn’t sure I could stomach torture. I still hadn’t really processed the deaths that I caused, the people I killed in self-defense. And torture was something very different.

Keena’s grin widened. “A capture-and-torture mission. I love it. I call dibs.”

“Tomo will run it,” Tuslan’s head nodded toward Tomo, whose head bobbed.

Keena’s grin vanished. “I recall my dibs.”

“Too late.” Tomo flashed a smirk her way. “Remember the last time we went on a mission like that together, Axe?”

She rocketed to her feet, her fists clenching. “Bring that up again and I will rip your fucking balls off.”

“You’d have to touch me to do that, wouldn’t you?” he purred.

Oh hell.

A knock at the door ended their potentially-explosive argument, and Keena stalked toward it.

“Damn,” Ellery murmured.

“That was nothing,” Alyx whispered back. “You’ll see.”

We all turned, and I saw Carse and Wohe in the doorway. Behind them were three other men, and two other women. I knew Carse was Valley Pack and Wohe was Rain, but I didn’t know who any of the rest of the people were.

“What do you want?” Keena snapped at the men.

“An alliance,” Wohe lifted his hands, a sign of peace. “We’ve been talking.”

“We don’t ally with fuckers who join forces with Lava or Fringe,” Keena spat.

I exchanged grimaces with Alyx and Ellery. We might need the alliances, and Keena was long-past worked up.

“I’ve got it,” Tomo growled.

“Sit down,” Paik smirked. “I’ll diffuse your she-bomb.”

Was that meant to sound sexual?

Tomo’s snarl told me it was.

Paik was at the door before Tomo got up though, opening it wider as he stood behind Keena. “So the prodigal Alphas have returned,” he drawled. “Now that it’s obvious we’re going to take the Queen, you want to apologize?”

“We shouldn’t have aligned with the others,” Carse admitted. “We see that now, and we’d like to offer our help.”

Keena snarled again. “Take a—”

Paik’s hand clapped over her mouth.

Tomo was on his feet in an instant, roaring and shifting. Tuslan set me on the chair, shoving Tomo back to his seat so quickly I hardly realized he’d moved.

“Paik,” Tuslan warned.

Paik released Keena. “You need sugar,” he told the female, giving her a little push toward the couch.

Alyx was already unwrapping a Round. She tossed it to Keena, and Keena caught it with a glare, shoving it in her mouth.

I wouldn’t have believed candy was a necessity before meeting Keena, but now, I was convinced.

“What could we possibly have to gain from allying with you?” Paik asked them. “We have the numbers, we have the power, we have the damned Queen. We trade more with the humans than with any of you bastards, and we all know you don’t have enough money to buy our allegiance.”

The men exchanged glances. “We have information,” Wohe said. “About Pine’s agreement with Tidal.”

Well, damn.

“Let them in.” Tuslan’s voice remained silky as he returned to me. Instead of picking me back up, he perched on the armrest of my chair, his arms folding and his delicious muscles bulging.

The door opened wider, and the group outside slowly entered.

“Paik, Tomo, grab some chairs for our guests,” Tuslan drawled.

The men disappeared, returning with a couch and a few folding chairs. The rest of us were silent while we waited, watching the other shifters.

There were four Rain shifters, dressed in their pack’s bronze clothing. I knew two of them: Wohe, and the woman with an infant who had come to me as the desedra ended two days earlier. I didn’t know her name, or see her baby with her.

The final two I assumed were the Alpha and his mate, given the lalidros. The woman looked softer than any shifter I’d seen before, and the way Ellery studied her told me she was an immortal human.

How long ago had she been Queen?

All three of the Valley Pack members were men, and Carse was among them, but I’d only met him a few times.

They all sat down, arranging their chairs off to the side of Tomo’s.

“What do you know about Pine?” I asked, maintaining a casual body position. It seemed to work for Tuslan, so why not me too?

A few of the men’s eyes flicked from me to Tuslan and back.

“I don’t own the Queen,” he remarked. “She speaks for herself as well as for me and my pack.”

Their expressions changed a bit, but not in a way I could read.

“We’ll trade our information in exchange for pack alliances,” the Rain Alpha spoke up. “We wish to fight for the Queen, not against her. We were… confused.”

Confused was the wrong term.

Annoying, thick-skulled assholes was the right one.

“What would you hope to gain?” Tuslan asked.

“Top-priority scheduling with the Queen, as far as blessings go,” the Rain Alpha said. “And we want to choose the new leader of the Pine Pack when you end the current one. In exchange, we’ll tell you what we know about Pine as well as help you in the desedra.”

Well, that sounded like an easy yes. But I knew enough about politics to know that if an offer sounded too good to be true, it probably was.

“What do you say, Mesa?” Tuslan asked, remaining where he was.

“I’d say it sounds like you want us to have the information,” I remarked, watching the Alphas. “Top-priority scheduling is worth nothing, and I’d venture to guess that you don’t really care who takes over Pine if the current Alpha is corrupt. So why don’t you drop the shit and say what you’re thinking?”

The Rain Alpha’s eyes narrowed. “The little human has us all figured out, does she?”

“The little human has seen exactly how a council of powerful shifters makes decisions.” I gestured to Tuslan and his leads.

His gaze slipped over my pack.

“The Pines are allied with the Tidals. We want you to know what they’re up to because if they get their way, the rest of us will go savage. Not just your pack or theirs, but ours too,” the Valley Alpha growled. “Choosing their next Alpha and having access to the Queen would merely be bonuses to avoiding a shitty outcome.”

At least that sounded like the truth.

“Then I don’t have a problem working with you. Tuslan?” I glanced up at the Blood Alpha and found his gaze already on me.

“Why would you offer help in the desedra?” he asked them, finally removing his gaze from me. “To avoid going savage, you only need the Pack’s Soul alive. Who she mates with doesn’t matter.”

The lead wolves exchanged glances with their Alphas.

Carse finally cleared his throat. “We’re tired of watching our people die,” he admitted. “Seeing as the Queen wants you as much as you want her, and you’ll most-likely win anyway, none of us see the point in continuing to fight. If you love her, you’ll protect her with your life… and you seem unkillable. What Tendira needs is an unkillable Queen.”

He seemed unkillable?

How would they have reached that conclusion, unless Tuslan had gotten close to being killed?

I wanted to ask, but knew that was a question best brought up in private.

Ellery spoke for the first time since the other Alphas arrived. “If that’s true, then you’ll withdraw.”

Everyone looked at her.

“Withdrawing is simple. All of you considered doing it before the fire in Royal. Withdraw, and our pack will consider allying with yours.”

I liked hearing her say that, like she was part of the Blood Pack.

My pack.

“If we withdrew, we wouldn’t be any help in the contest,” one of the men argued.

“You said yourself that we’re clearly going to win.” Tuslan gestured to the door. “If you want an alliance as much as you say, I assume it will be a relief to withdraw.”

There was a brief moment of silence before the Valley Alpha stood. “Alright. We’ll remove ourselves from your competition.”

“First, tell us what you know about Pine,” Alyx said.

The Alpha sat back down. “It’s simple, really. The Tidal Pack has Jalvo’s mate, and he’s giving them his men to use as soldiers in exchange for her safety. They won’t return her until the Pillar has fallen.”

28

Tuslan closed the door behind us. The air between us was heavy, but not with lust or fun or anything pleasant. We were both worried.

The Tidals had always been weak because of their small numbers. The land they occupied was brutal, and made survival alone difficult. Those who survived despised the Queen, but there weren’t many.

But Pine was the largest pack. Not the fastest-growing, or the strongest, but the largest. They grew fast enough to retain the title, and had for centuries.

If the Tidals had access to that many people, they should’ve been attacking me left and right. With enough time, and enough effort, they would eventually take me out. They had never valued life the way most shifters did; the Alphas had always sacrificed their members at every turn.

So where were they?

And more importantly, what were they planning?

We’d run over every possible idea we could come up with, before the other Alphas had left, but we had no clue what they were really up to. And spying had never been a Blood Pack specialty; when they needed to know something, they got it out of someone in their own uniquely painful way.

It was late by the time every member of the Valley and Rain packs had officially withdrawn from the desedra. That took us down another sixty-nine fighters, but didn’t bring us any closer to knowing how the Tidals were going to attack me next.

“I need a distraction,” I told Tuslan, capturing his hand and dragging him toward the bathroom with me. “People have been trying to kill me for ages; this is nothing new. Worrying about it won’t keep me alive any longer. While I’m here, let’s enjoy it.”

His hand tightened on mine, and I knew he was going to argue.

But I didn’t want him to argue… I wanted him to distract me.

There was only one way I knew to distract him enough to convince him to distract me.

My fingers rubbed the fabric of my pants against the love burn inside my thigh. The focused friction made my body clench in the best way, and his hand tightened further on mine.

“Mesa,” he said, his voice low.

“We had plans a few nights ago, if I remember right. I know you don’t want to touch me, but—”

He cut me off with his mouth.

His tongue was on mine before I had a chance to breathe, his hands on my ass as he devoured my mouth with his. I grabbed his arms when he started walking me backward.

His lips moved to my neck, sucking and biting softly, ravaging me. “I was going to say we should take a bath together,” I panted, wrapping a leg around his hip.

He lifted me, aligning his core with mine.

“Think bigger,” he growled into my throat.

“A shower?”

He barked a laugh, then took my lips with his again. The kiss was excruciatingly delicious, and I moaned into his mouth when I lifted my other leg to force him closer.

Our lips and tongues fought and melded and warred until he had me pinned between him and the wall, his hands still on my covered ass.

“I want you on the bed, bare before me,” he growled against my mouth. “I want you to watch me learn every fold of your body with my tongue. I want you to come apart on my hands, on my fingers, on my tongue… and on my cock.”

“If you get to taste me, I get to taste you too,” I breathed, arching my hips further against him. “I want to make you lose control, Tuslan. I want you to forget who you are, and where you are, and everything but the way it feels to have my mouth on you—my body on yours.”

He snarled an agreement, his fingers digging into my ass as he lifted me and hauled me away from the door, out of the bathroom.

My back met the bed, and then our lips were fighting again, our bodies grinding and pressing despite the clothing separating us.

A laugh sounded in the hall outside our door, and Tuslan’s lips ripped off mine. He snarled at the door, his fingers growing sharper against my skin.

“Easy,” I whispered, my hands wrapping around his wrists.

His claws disappeared immediately. Self-hatred flared in his eyes, and I knew he was going to apologize.

“You’ve never actually hurt me, Tuslan. Unless you count the time your fang cut my lip—which I don’t. So get over your lack of control.” I grabbed his face, pulling his lips back to mine.

“I need to take us somewhere we won’t be interrupted,” he growled into my mouth. “I’ll slaughter anyone or anything that stops me from having you.”

I laughed, throwing out a physical barrier around the room and then layering soundproofing on top of it.

“My barriers will keep everyone out—and keep them from hearing us.” I gave him a mischievous smile. “I know you’re loud.”

His eyes flashed. “I want you to enjoy it fully, Blue. Not to be distracted by holding up your magic.”

“I hold a physical barrier in my sleep, and soundproofing is easy. Stop worrying.”

“Thought of everything, have you?” he growled against my mouth, his hand stroking my thigh as he settled it back in place against his hip.

“Only because you stopped distracting me.” I pouted my bottom lip.

He sucked it into his mouth, his teeth scraping it as he applied gentle pressure.

I swiveled my hips, grinding him against me, and my eyes shut as he released my lip and moved to my neck. 

“Take my pants off,” I breathed.

“I’ll get there.” He bit my neck softly, then licked it better before sucking the sensitive skin there. “First, I want my scent mark on your skin.”

“Why?”

“Your scent will tell me if I’m doing it right.” His tongue swept the throbbing skin he’d released there. “May I?”

“How do you do it?” I rocked a bit, and he growled again as he held me in place.

“It only takes a breath.” His teeth scraped over my skin. “But I want to bite you while I do it.”

I groaned when he released my thighs, easing his erection away from my core. “Okay. But I want your fingers inside me when you bite me again.”

He didn’t hesitate a damn second. His hand slipped into my pants, his fingers finding my sweet spot and circling slowly. Teasing.

“Tuslan,” I snarled.

He chuckled. “Impatient?”

“Very.”

“You’ll be sensitive. With the love burns inside you, the pleasure will be overwhelming,” he practically purred into my neck.

I arched into his hand, and he continued touching me slowly, frustrating me on purpose. I loved and hated him for it. “Are you going to come when you taste my blood again?”

He growled softly, teeth scraping my skin. “No. It will take more, this time.”

My hand found his throbbing erection, and squeezed. He hissed against my neck, his fingers leaving my core to catch my wrist and pull me away from him.

“We’re focusing on you, Blue.”

“Why?” I demanded.

“Because I want you thoroughly loved and ready before I sink inside you.”

Well.

Okay, then.

“How loved?”

“Melted into the fucking sheets, loved.” His fingers released my hand and slipped back into my pants, and I inhaled sharply at the feel of his fingers on my sensitive skin.

“This would be easier if you took my clothes off,” I told him, gripping his arm as pressure built inside me with every sweep of his fingers.

“I’ll get there,” he repeated, his lips capturing mine again while he fingered me. Breathing grew challenging as the pressure grew, my body throbbing for more.

“Tuslan,” I groaned into his mouth. “Bite me already.”

He laughed against my lips. “So impatient.”

I dragged his head down to my neck. He kissed it, then sucked again.

“Don’t make me use my magic on you,” I growled when he continued teasing me, with both his fingers and his mouth.

“You fight dirty.” He bit down without breaking the skin, and I arched into him as his finger swept closer to my opening. “I’ll have to use my flames.”

“Will it burn?” We both knew what kind of burn I was talking about, and words were getting difficult as my breathing grew heavier.

“Not unless you want it to.”

“Next time,” I panted. “Now, Red.”

He chuckled again, but the chuckle became a groan when he slipped a finger in me, the movement slow and drawn-out.

“Beasts,” I gasped as my body detonated. It was so responsive to him—hell, maybe too responsive to him.

His teeth sank into my throat, below the last mark he’d given me. With his flames numbing the pain, all I felt was pleasure.

I spasmed around his finger, and he slipped the digit out only to replace it with two. He stretched me, running over the ultra-sensitive burn within me, and I shuddered as it wrung a second climax from me before the first had even finished.

“Holy hell,” I groaned at Tuslan, my grip on his arm so damn tight it would’ve hurt a weaker man.

His eyes burned into mine before he retook my lips with his. Our mouths fought, desperate and fierce and needy all at the same time.

When he withdrew, he wore a cocky smirk. He sat up, lifting me with him, and his fingers caught the hem of my bandeau. “May I?”

“Stop asking and just do it,” I demanded.

His grin grew savage as he tugged it over my head, freeing my breasts. The fabric hadn’t even hit the ground when he held handfuls of the sensitive skin, his fingers squeezing me. “Shit,” he snarled, the grin gone as his dick throbbed against me.

“What?”

His head tilted back, his eyes shutting as his fingers felt and played and explored. “My dick’s not on board with my plan,” he ground out.

It was my turn to laugh. “Well, you are a virgin,” I teased, wrapping my hand around his erection through his pants again. He was freaking huge.  “Last time, you were still hard after you came.”

He snarled again, the hot weight of him throbbing in my fist. “For you, I could finish a dozen times.”

“Then let me touch you.”

He throbbed again, and the veins in his neck pulsed.

“You said it’s about me; I want to feel you in my hands.”

He groaned. “I can’t say no to you.” Pinning me back to the bed, he trapped my hand and his erection between us. His lips continued to devour mine, his hands still on my tits.

Until he started to slide down my body.

The movement pulled his dick out of my fingers, and I opened my mouth to complain, but the words died in my throat when our eyes collided as he lowered his mouth to my nipple.

My lips parted further as he flicked a tongue over the sensitive skin.

Holy shit.

I bucked against him, and he flicked it again.

A moan slipped out of me, my eyes shutting.

His tongue disappeared. “Watch me pleasure you, Mesa.” His chest rumbled against my abdomen. “My mark doesn’t cover your stomach, but my scent will cover your skin, and I want you to know exactly who brought you this pleasure. I want this moment embedded in your memories, with my face at the center.”

“That’s pretty possessive,” I panted, my eyes still closed as I teased him. “I don’t know if I can—”

His teeth scraped my nipple, and I gasped, my body arching with the sound. “Open.”

My eyes opened.

I watched him flick my nipple again with his tongue. I moaned when he wrapped his lips around me, and writhed when he sucked.

Every time I shut my eyes, he stopped, waiting for me to open them again, to watch him bring me pleasure.

He switched breasts, and then after a bit, switched back. As soon as I started getting used to the motions, getting less sensitive to them, he swapped. It was torture; the most blissful torture.

Then his hand slipped into my pants again.

I clutched his arm to me, holding him there. He slid three fingers inside me, and I lost it.

Crying out, my body clenched and unclenched around him. His teeth sank into my breast, fire kicking in and numbing the pain once again. His teeth elevated the pleasure, and my cry grew louder as he dragged out the orgasm.

29

When he finally pulled his fingers out of me, I was all but melted into the bed. Just as he’d wanted me.

“I want you inside me,” I moaned at him, still clutching his arm.

“I know,” he growled, rolling away from me.

I groaned. “Come back.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” He positioned himself lower, this time, his fingers hooking in the waistband of my pants before he dragged them down and then off. I moaned again when he ran his hands down my legs, down my thighs and over my knees and over my calves. “Leviathan,” he began.

“Take them off,” I growled back.

His chuckle made my lips curve upward, my body already clenching in preparation for what was coming next.

He hooked his fingers in the waist of my panties, and slowly tugged them down. They were dripping wet, and every brush of the soaked fabric over my skin was excruciating in the best way.

I cried out again when it dragged over the burn inside my thigh.

When they finally hit the floor, Tuslan slowly settled himself on his stomach.

“How’s this?” His dark eyes stared at me once again.

“Don’t make me kick you.”

He gave me a feral grin, turning his head to the side and pressing his lips to my burn.

I cried out again, my body throbbing in response.

His tongue traced it for a moment, making me struggle and squirm and pant.

When he pulled away, I was swearing at him. His chest rumbled, and he batted innocent eyes at me. “That’s the only reason I’m down here,” he said.

“I hate you,” I moaned.

“I love you more for it.” His big hands landed on my thighs, easing them further apart. “Now, I want you to drag this one out,” he warned me, his lips tickling my overheated flesh as he spoke. “I want to hear you scream when you finish.”

“Make me scream, then.”

His lips curved upward. “I’ll take that as a challenge.”

The first stroke of his tongue nearly unraveled me.

He could tell, too—his grip on my thighs tightened, his chest rumbling softly. He waited, blowing gently on me while I throbbed and the pleasure grew bearable.

The second stroke was slower.

“Beasts.” I sucked in air. “Why does that feel so good?”

“The venom in my saliva. It’s made to pleasure my mate.” The words were as far from silky as they could get. His tongue stroked that hot bundle of nerves again, and my hips bucked, but he held me in place.

“But we’re not mates,” I panted.

He stroked me twice, then, and had to draw back further to keep me from going over the edge.

“I’m not sure I can take much more of this,” I moaned.

“Tell me you’re my mate, and I’ll let you finish,” he growled.

“But we’re not—beasts,” My body bucked like a fish out of water, and he licked me again, and again.

When he pulled away, I cried out. “Please, Red.”

His chest rumbled with displeasure. “You never have to beg me, Blue. Just say the words.”

“You’re going to be my mate,” I breathed.

He growled something that sounded like, “Close enough,” and then he descended.

I’d thought he’d devoured me in the bathroom, but this was so much better. His face was buried in my core, his tongue and teeth and fingers working me.

I only lasted a second, but he didn’t stop as I shattered, crying out again as bliss made the ceiling spin. Just as the last wave shook me, his fingers slid inside me—and his teeth sank into my thigh.

I screamed as the world went black, the pleasure so intense that I lost all control of my body. I pulsed, and writhed, and quivered, and hell, probably even flopped.

Tuslan’s tongue was still on me, slowly eating me while his chest continuously rumbled when I finally opened my eyes again. I was so thoroughly exhausted that I might as well have fallen off a dragon mid-air and landed on my face.

“Beasts, Tuslan,” I whispered.

He finally, reluctantly, slid his tongue off my core. It trailed up my body, but I was too damn worn-out to feel a thing.

His erection brushed my leg as he moved back to his typical spot on the bed, and my eyebrows lifted when I felt wetness against my bare thigh.

“Did you…”

“Yes.” His voice was silk on my neck, and he pressed his lips to the spot he’d bitten me there.

“We were going to have sex,” I whispered.

He shook his head slightly against my neck. “I won’t allow myself that pleasure until I’ve earned your magic and solidified the bond between us.”

Anger had me narrowing my eyes, though I was so thoroughly relaxed that my heartbeat didn’t even pick up. “You said you weren’t going to be good, Tuslan. You don’t need to earn that. You—”

“I’m going to win the desedra, and after I do, I’ll sink my cock inside you while you call me ‘mate’.” He kissed my neck again, his voice silky again. “Until then, I’ll satisfy myself with the taste of your pleasure—and it will be more than enough.”

“You lied, Tuslan.” I rolled toward him, glaring at him.

“You didn’t want me to be good.” He dragged me closer, and his hardness pressed into my bare abdomen.

Angry tears flooded my eyes, and I tried to force them back. “You were supposed to feel good too.”

His eyes widened, and his arms tightened around me. “Are you crying, Blue?”

“No,” I glared hotter.

A damn tear leaked out of my eye.

His expression darkened, taking on a bit of a desperate edge. “Why? What did I do?”

“You were supposed to feel good! Now I’m laying here naked and so damn pleased I could probably sleep for a week, and you’re still wearing clothes. I didn’t even make you—” I stopped when he rolled over, stripping his pants and underwear off and tossing them to the floor

His dick was huge.

Just… huge.

And wet.

“The taste and feel of your pleasure got me off in my pants, Mesa. In my pants. For the second time, ever. Even as a teenager, I wasn’t this horny. You may not have rubbed it out of me, but you made me feel this. Not me, and not anyone else. You.”

He slipped back under the blankets with me, and his wet dick met my bare abdomen.

I loved it.

Tears flooded my eyes again, and the desperate tinge in his gaze grew.

“What did I do now?” he growled.

“Now they’re happy tears. I don’t know why I’m crying; I’ve just never felt this good before.” I wiped at my eyes with the hand that wasn’t pinned between me and Tuslan. “I still want to make you come.”

“That’s not going to happen when you’re crying.”

“Okay.” I shook my head. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He captured my lips, and the kiss was slow and achingly intimate. He caught my hand and lifted it to his mouth. Pulling his lips off mine, he licked up my hand slowly, his body shuddering before he lowered my hand to his dick and wrapped my fingers around his thick length. His fingers engulfed mine.

Beasts, he was so silky. I hadn’t expected him to feel so soft.

“Show me,” I ordered.

“Like this,” he growled, helping me pump up and down his length.

A snarl escaped him, and his hips thrust into my hand. He helped me set a pace, showing me how to wrap my hand around the end of him, driving him mad as I worked him. 

I’d thought I was wrung out, but my body began to warm as I watched his face. His expression grew tortured as his breathing grew ragged.

“Let go,” I commanded.

He released me, though his hand found my bare thigh as I pumped him faster.

“On your back,” I growled.

He rolled, rolling me on top of him in the same movement.

His nose twitched, and his fingers wrapped around my upper thigh. “Already?”

“You’re so damn sexy,” I whispered back.

His fingers dipped inside me again, three of them, and I gasped. My fist clenched around his dick, and he went rock hard. His fingers slid inside me while mine worked him, once, and then twice, before we went over the edge together.

I cried out, and he roared. His fingers moved faster and harder as we lost it, and then slowed as the waves of pleasure faded.

“Beasts, Blue.” He groaned, dragging his fingers out of me and lifting them to his lips. My eyes were hooded, my body officially unmovable as I sank into the mattress. “You’re fucking incredible.”

“I know,” I flashed him a tired smile.

Reaching off the bed, he grabbed his pants and used them to clean off my hip before wiping his own and then tossing them to the floor.

“Were you sufficiently distracted?” Tuslan asked, his lips brushing the edge of my jaw.

“Very,” I agreed, turning my head so our mouths met. “Let’s do this again tomorrow.”

“I’ll do this again any time and any place you want.”

30

“Blue,” Tuslan’s soft murmur dragged me out of a dark, dreamless sleep. “It’s time to get up.” The backs of his fingers brushed my cheek, then slowly trailed over my breasts. He stopped there, cupping and gently playing with them while I struggled to force myself awake. His chest rumbled softly against my back when my nipples pebbled beneath his attention.

“A little horny this morning?” I murmured, brushing my ass over his erection.

“Your bare body could make me horny if I was dying in a ditch.” He brushed his hand over my abdomen. “I never thanked you for last night.”

My body flushed. “I’m pretty sure you did. Even if you didn’t, you don’t need to thank me.”

“Don’t I? Your scent changes deliciously when I do.” He inhaled with his nose at my neck, his hand sweeping leisurely over my lower abdomen. “We need to get showered, and get going.”

“I guess I’ll just have to leave you hard until tonight then,” I whispered, rubbing against him again.

“Cruel female.” He nibbled my neck.

“Blood Queen to you,” I tossed back.

He chuckled, and his fingers dipped between my thighs. “At least let me take care of this so your scent doesn’t mock me all day.”

I bit my lip. “Okay, but we have to be fast.”

His lips paused on my neck. “We?”

“Well I’m not going to leave you horny if you’re not leaving me horny.” I rolled my eyes at him.

He growled against my neck. “You’re going to have a lot of bite marks, Blue.”

“Don’t pretend you’re not happy about that,” I rumbled back.

I felt his grin against my skin. “I won’t.”

His fingers slipped between my legs, and we stopped talking.

I adjusted the waistband of my pants as we walked down the hall, my body flushed from the shower Tuslan and I had taken.

Together.

I didn’t have any new burns, but the one on my thigh had gotten insanely sensitive since Tuslan played with it the night before, and every brush of it was driving me mad.

“Breathe,” Tuslan murmured. “Or every man in the building is going to smell you. And I’m going to have to kill them all.”

My face flushed. “I need a bandage or something to cover the burn.”

Understanding crossed his face. I knew he was supposed to feel what I did from the connection, but maybe he was too satiated to be bothered by it or something.

He glanced behind us, at Alyx, Keena, and Ellery, who were all chatting about something definitely unrelated to the sensitive spot on my inner thigh. “I’ve got to go grab something. Can you keep an eye on her?”

I shot him an annoyed glare. I didn’t need a damned babysitter.

“Of course.” Keena grinned.

The deadly expression told me she knew exactly why he was leaving, and I wanted to groan.

He kissed me on the lips before striding off down the hallway.

The laughter erupted as soon as he was gone.

“You reek of lust,” Keena cackled. “How many times did you guys do it last night?”

My face flushed hotter. “Shut up.”

“How can you still be turned on?” Alyx pressed. “He didn’t even smell that horny. Does he not know how to get you off? Do we need to sit down and have a chat with the big, bad Alpha?”

Beasts, that was embarrassing.

“That’s definitely not the problem. I just… remember when we were talking about different animals marking their mates? Phoenixes make love burns. It’s like… yeah.” I stopped in the hall, cringing. “I’m not ready for this.”

“For what?” Alyx asked as they stopped with me, all three of them still grinning.

“Talking about sex. I’m terrible at it.”

“You’ll get better.” Keena’s grin was wicked as she patted me on the shoulder. “What’s a love burn?”

“It’s basically just a button on my skin that turns us both on,” I huffed. “But it’s right there, and it’s insanely sensitive right now, and these pants make me want to be so damn naked.”

I pointed to the inside of my thigh.

“A man-made erogenous zone?” Alyx’s eyebrows shot upward. “Hot damn. I want a phoenix.”

“Get your own,” I grumbled.

Keena cackled. “Think of all the possibilities…”

“I am, and that’s the problem.” I staggered into the wall, puffing a breath of air to blow hair out of my face. “Just…talk about something else.”

“What’s the end of a desedra like?” Keena asked.

I shrugged. “The winner is the only guy who leaves the maze.”

Everyone looked at Ellery. “Actually, when the number gets low, the desedra’s magic takes over. It knows when it’s found the strongest male,” she explained. “The maze will change course for him, giving him an alternate path that won’t lead to the castle lawn, but to the Queen. When it creates the alternate path, it will whisk Mesa away to a random location in the castle, where the maze will lead the champion.”

Horror set in. “No one told me that. I won’t know where I am, or who I’m waiting for?”

“It’ll be somewhere in the castle, and a Queen never knows who her mate will be before their magic binds,” Ellery said, her voice steady even though her gaze was apologetic.

“But then it’s not a matter of Tuslan just killing all the competitors; it’s rigged. The Queen must’ve figured out how to tap into that magic,” I reached up, wrapping my fingers around my necklace so they wouldn’t shake. “Beasts. You can’t tell him that.” I looked around the group. “None of you can tell him that. He’ll lose it.”

“He needs to know. Maybe if he sees someone else heading a different direction, he can stop them or something,” Keena argued.

“Tuslan needs to know what’s going to happen,” Alyx agreed.

I knew that was true, but the problem was, the revelation changed everything. Not just the outcome of the desedra, but the way Tuslan would look at it.

The way we both would have to look at us.

Because if there was no way to out-muscle the other competitors, there was no way to know whether or not Tuslan would or could win.

And Cina had probably figured out a way to punish me by setting me up with some asshole through the desedra’s magic, even from her grave.

“What do I need to know?” He strode up to the group, holding a thick bandage in his hand as he looked between us.

“Nothing,” I said quickly.

“The desedra chooses its own winner,” Keena spat. “It opens up a new path in the maze for them. You can’t just focus on winning; you have to focus on making sure no one else wins.”

I could see the gears in his mind turning.

“That’s how the Fringe and Lavas beat our men every time. Cina was working with them.”

Keena jerked her head in a nod.

Tuslan crumbled the bandage in his fist. “We need to figure out how they tapped into the magic,” he said shortly. He opened his hand, smoothing the bandage before handing it to me. “We’ve got to hunt down an Alpha.”

Keena grinned wickedly.

“I’ll stay with Mesa,” Alyx said.

“I will too,” Ellery agreed.

“This is crazy. You can’t hunt another Alpha, Tuslan. He probably won’t even have the information. He—“

Tuslan’s hands engulfed my face, and our foreheads met. “You’re mine,” he said, his voice silky. “Help the babies while I find answers.” His lips met mine softly, then he released me and strode away, with Keena at his side.

“I didn’t want him obsessed with an answer he probably won’t find,” I growled at the woman, spinning toward them as my barrier thickened with my anger. My magic was finally growing again, returning as the final days of the transition began. “If this is the only time we get together, I want it to count.”

“This is about more than you two, Mesa,” Alyx reminded me.

“Everything in my life is about more than just me.” Ripping the back of the bandage off, I yanked open the waistband of my pants and slapped the protective layer over the burn.

Some part of me had always expected Tuslan wouldn’t win. Life never favored me like that. If I wanted something or cared about someone, I wouldn’t get it. Not for long.

The next few days, I went through the motions. Helping the babies one by one, eating when I was supposed to, sleeping when I was supposed to do that too. Tuslan didn’t return—and I wasn’t sure I expected him to.

Not now that he knew there was no way to ensure he won.

The love burn faded and then disappeared within a day, and I couldn’t help but see its loss as a sign of what was to come. 

“What’s going on in there?” Alyx asked, as I ate a sandwich that should’ve been delicious but tasted like paper.

“In my sandwich?” I checked, knowing that was not at all what she meant. I opened the top piece of bread, studying the contents. “Looks like meat, and cheese, and—”

“In your head, Mesa. You’ve been acting like you did when we first met you. Scared.”

“I wasn’t scared,” I started, then sighed. “Fine, I was scared. But I’m not scared now. Now, I’m just…” I set down my sandwich. “I don’t know. Sad? I liked feeling loved. It was the first time I’ve felt that way. Ever. Now I’m not sure I can move past it. I’ll probably figure it out when I’m mated to some asshole… hopefully.”

The words continued to pour out of me. “But if Tuslan’s alive and we’re not together, there’s no way I’ll be able to live in the Blood Pack. I’ll just cry all the time or hide in books or something. That’s not fun. I’ll have to be the Lava Queen, or the Fringe Queen, and somehow those sound even worse than the Blood Queen. And I’ll have to learn self-defense, which sounds shittier than actual real-life shit, and I’ll be alone again and I’m just really not looking forward to it.”

Whew, what a rant.

Alyx blinked at me. “I’m confused.”

“You’re never confused,” I grabbed my sandwich and took a hearty bite just so I wouldn’t have to talk to her for a minute.

“Right now, I am.”

“Tuslan’s been gone for days, Alyx. Torturing people.” I grimaced. “He hasn’t even come back at night to cuddle or anything; he kissed me twice, once each time he made it out of the maze, and then disappeared again. Someone’s probably already rigged the desedra, so these few days are all we would’ve had, and he’s been gone.”

She blinked at me again. “He’s trying to figure out how to make you guys permanent. Keena said he’s practically savage over it.”

“Exactly.” I shrugged. “It’s hopeless.” Deciding I was done with the sandwich, I ditched it on my plate and got up, heading back to the couch I helped the babies from. We had a little eating area set up on one side of the throne room, to make it easier.

Alyx strode to the doors. She spoke to Ellery for a few minutes, and I felt both of their eyes on me.

A woman handed me her baby, though, so I shielded myself from prying eyes and noise and attention, busying my mind with the task at hand.

When I was finished, Alyx was gone but Ellery was still at the door, eyeing me.

I wasn’t oblivious enough to think she hadn’t gone to find Tuslan. But I was annoyed—and still sad. And I was a damn leviathan, so I wasn’t going to give in as soon as I saw his gorgeous face and perfect body.

I continued my work, helping two more pups shift before the doors flung open and my male strode into the room. I felt his eyes on me, even as I focused on smiling at the mother while I handed back her freshly-shifted infant.

“Leviathan,” he growled as he approached.

Probably for the better, the woman with the next number didn’t come up to the couch immediately.

“Blood Alpha,” I responded, forcing my voice not to give away the warmth I felt when I saw him. Or the anger. Or the hurt.

Neutrality. I was going for pure, beautiful neutralit—shit.

He scooped me up off the couch, tossing me over his shoulder and carrying me to the bathroom I’d used to escape him the first day I was back in the castle; the one I’d used to clean him.

He set me on the counter, and I noticed streaks of dirt on his face. I didn’t brush my fingers over them, the way I wanted to.

He wasn’t really mine anymore.

Hell, he’d never really been mine anyway. Not completely.

I’d known it was a bad idea to let myself fall in love with him. I’d known I’d probably have to mate with someone else; that the future wouldn’t be any kinder to me than the previous Shifter Queen had been.

But I’d fallen anyway.

And beasts, I didn’t have it within me to regret that.

His chest rose and fell rapidly as he stared at me. Mine moved normally as I stared back.

The silence was long, and heavy, until Tuslan finally shoved a hand through his dark hair and gave a frustrated growl. “I’m trying to find us an answer, Mesa.”

“Things rarely work out the way I hope.” I gave him a tight smile. “I’m sure this is Cina’s way of manipulating me even from her resting place with the beasts.”

His eyes darkened, and his hands cupped my face. “You told me you’d believe in me,” he growled. “In us.”

“All it’s going to do is hurt me more,” I growled back. “I’m tired of hurting, Tuslan. Of losing. I’m never going to be safe from the Tidals. I’m never going to get the freedom I’ve wanted. I’m never going to get to mate with the person I choose. I may as well accept it; nothing I do is going to change it.”

His eyes burned into mine. “I should have come back every night.”

“It doesn’t matter.” I pushed his hands away, blinking back the stinging tears that I refused to let fall.

“It does. I thought it would be better to wait until I had concrete information. Keena told me I was wrong, but I should’ve come back. Just to hold you.” His hands found my hips, and I pushed them off.

“I thought the scent connection was supposed to drag you to me when I was sad or something.” I wiped my eyes again. “You’ve just been ignoring it?”

His eyes flashed with anger. “Of course not; I’d never fucking do that. I never smelled anything.” He lowered his nose to my neck and inhaled, then swore. “It’s not there. It should’ve lasted longer. Is the burn still there?”

I shook my head.

“It must be because you’re human.” He lifted my hair off my neck, checking for fading bite marks. They were already gone too, though. “These should’ve lasted longer too.” His voice was angry. “I should’ve been there to notice when they vanished.”

“It’s fine. I told you, it’s better that we distance ourselves anyway. I can’t—”

His lips captured mine.

I didn’t have the fire—or desire—to stop myself from kissing him back, deeply.

My body ached for him, but I refused to give in to it and finally dragged my mouth away, pushing at his chest. “You don’t get to disappear for days without talking to me and then just kiss me, Tuslan.” I pushed him away.

Frustration flooded his gaze. “I messed up, alright?”

“It’s fine. I just… have to go.” I slipped off the counter and headed toward the door.

A massive, sculpted chest blocked me at the last minute. “Cina was the one who altered the desedras,” he said. “The Lava Alpha had proof. She’d choose an asshole from one of the other packs to match with the Human Queens, and tap into the desedra magic to change it herself; it was another way for her to control you.”

I stared at his chest, my mind turning. I was surprised by the revelation, even if I shouldn’t have been. “So without her, there’s no way for us to change the outcome.”

It wasn’t a good thing, but… it was better than Cina choosing a man for me. At least there was a tiny chance that the magic would do the right thing and pick Tuslan for me.

“No. Your magic can’t alter itself.” He started to reach for me, then his hands curled into fists. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” I countered. It was petty, but I wanted to hear him say the words outright.

“I should’ve come back to you at night. I should’ve stopped to consider your feelings.”

I folded my arms, taking a step back. “So why didn’t you?”

His fists slipped into his pockets. His muscles bulged though; he was tense. “I didn’t want to come back to you without a sure answer.”

“You’re always trying to be my hero, huh?”

“Of course. You’re my female.” He stared at me. “We’re finishing this thing. Tomorrow, we kill anyone who refuses to quit. No more tying them up or playing nice; I’ll burn them to the fucking ground if they don’t withdraw. Three days from now, the desedra will end. And I’ll be the champion even if I have to plow through a thousand damned magical walls and kill the bastard your magic actually chooses.”

I squeezed my eyes shut. “You know that’s not even possible, Tuslan.”

“For you, I’ll find a way.”

I gave up on trying to distance myself from him and stepped into his arms, wrapping mine around his back. He held me tightly, his body tense against mine.

“No more orgasms,” I whispered. “We can’t do anything intimate until this is all over. I just can’t handle any more heartbreak.”

“I’ll take whatever you can give me, Blue, and I’ll give you whatever you need.”

My eyes squeezed shut.

Beasts, I loved him.

The next few days passed quickly, until Tuslan was hugging me fiercely on what he vowed would be the last day of the desedra.

Paik, Tomo, and the rest of the Blood Pack had pulled themselves from the competition the night before, leaving only Tuslan and a mishmash of twenty shifters from other packs.

I walked out to my canopy on the field with what felt like the weight of the whole damn world on my shoulders, but my friends—who were becoming my family—were beside me.

Even Tomo, that stiff bastard.

We were all subdued as the new mothers showed up with their babies, and one by one, I taught them how to shift.

I was reaching my arms out for the last infant of the day when it happened.

My breath caught as some mixture of my own power and something else wrapped around me—and then the world around me changed.

I looked around, finding myself in the center of the east tower. The view of the ocean gave it away.

The castle was eerily silent, the noise of the waves crashing below me the only thing I could hear.

There was a curved bench resting up against the wall of the round room, so I strode over to it and took a seat. Despite the ball of stress in my belly and the nerves that kept my toes tapping constantly on the stone floor beneath my feet, all there was left to do was wait.

31

Tuslan

I fought my way through the castle for hours, winding through the walls of the maze, thinning the numbers of the competitors as I came upon them. I’d offered them all a way out before that day, but none of them had taken it.

And now, they would feel my claws in their throats and chests as they breathed their last breaths. No one would stand between me and my female.

I ended another life, and then immediately felt the maze change. The scent—mossy stone, tinged with Mesa—wavered and then shifted altogether.

My eyes met those of another man, the final Fringe competitor. He must’ve smelled it too.

He stepped into a space where I knew a wall had been only moments earlier.

The magic had chosen him… and it could fuck itself.

I was on him in less than a heartbeat. My talons cut through his throat, his claws slicing into my thigh just before he fell. The slashes caught fire and closed up immediately, of course.

Dropping him on the floor, I reached my hand out to the wall of the maze—the one that had just changed.

I forced my heartbeat to slow so I could focus. None of the others could feel the magic in the walls the way I could. Whether it was because of the strength of my senses or my experience with Mesa’s power on my skin, I didn’t know. But I sure as fuck used it.

I felt it in my fingers first; the soft thud of her heartbeat against my skin. The magic wasn’t all Mesa, but it was enough of my Leviathan’s for me to feel her there.

I remained where I was for a moment, re-familiarizing myself with the way the combination of power sounded, smelled, and felt in the air around me. With my senses tuned so fully into it, I didn’t need to physically feel the maze with my hands; I just followed the beat of her heart.

Removing my hand from the thick barrier of magic, I stepped into the new passageway.

Dodging walls and sidestepping paths that smelled less like Mesa, I wove my way further into the castle. Past the ballroom, past the—

My ears twitched at a nearly-silent whoosh behind me, and I spun out of the way, shifting my hands to claws. I caught the other shifter by the throat, taking him down and removing his head in one swift motion.

I didn’t watch his head roll; I didn’t care who he was.

He wouldn’t be the last. As our numbers dwindled and the mazes grew more complex, the smartest of the bastards had taken to following my scent through the maze, realizing I could make my way through it much easier than they could.

My hand met the wall again, and it took a few moments to filter out the scent of the dead male and refocus on the way the maze met my senses.

The maze was leading me toward a section of the castle I hadn’t visited before. The building boasted two massive, tall towers on the east and west corners, but I’d never had a reason to visit either of them. The maze seemed to be leading me to the west tower, though.

I turned a corner, and felt the shifter behind me even without hearing or smelling him. My body caught fire immediately, and as we collided, an unholy scream left him.

I sliced through his throat, standing immediately with a grim expression.

There was no longer time to go slow.

The other competitors had been alerted of my location and would follow my scent to the path that led to my female. I could take them, I was certain, but if they came as a group there was a chance one would slip past me… which I couldn’t allow.

Inhaling Mesa’s scent, I closed my eyes and took off at a jog. Without my sight, I could focus better on the senses that would actually help me.

Dodging walls and weaving through hallways, I left fire in my trail. It was a drain on my power and energy, since there was nothing to burn, but it was worth it.

I would get to my female, complete the Amra, and make her mine.

32

Mesa

A ferocious roar met my ears, and my hands lifted to my stomach as I felt a surge of magic.

Some invisible connection blossomed in my lower belly and made my breath catch as I watched an ink-colored lalidro grow over my abdomen.

The desedra was over.

My power was gathering on my skin—the rest of the power that had been locked in that wall since I was a child.

But where was the champion?

I strode to the door, flinging it open.

Instead of finding the man I was connected to, I saw a flash of blue and silver clothing on the bodies of a wave of shifters running up the stairs toward me.

Tidal and Pine.

I slammed the door shut and slid the lock into place, knowing it wouldn’t hold against murderous shifters for long.

Another roar met my ears, from somewhere across the castle.

Tuslan.

Was he the champion? Was the connection thrumming inside me a connection to him?

I ran to the window of the tower as my heart slammed repeatedly in my chest.

If the desedra was over and my champion wasn’t beside me, something must’ve gone wrong with the magic.

And the Pines and Tidals who were moments away from breaking the tower’s door down probably had something to do with that.

My desperate gaze swept the beach below me. It was a long way down—a really long way. That was the reason Cina and I avoided the towers, after all; we couldn’t survive a long drop the way a shifter could.

My barriers might keep me alive through the fall… maybe.

A pillowy barrier could prevent me from the worst injuries, but the force of my impact when I slammed into it would rip my energy away so fast it would probably knock me out. And then I might as well hand myself over to the Tidals.

The door crashed into the wall as they slammed it open.

I spun toward the group of massive men, and women with churning eyes. Thickening the barrier over my skin, I layered another one around me, further off of me to hold them away.

“The Pillar must fall,” the Tidal at the front of the group snarled. “So Tendira can rise.”

“If I fall, so do you,” I shot back, desperation clutching me as they flooded the room. I tried to step backward, deciding the window’s risk was worth it, but a group of men and women surged between me and my only chance of escape.

There was hesitation in a few of the Pines’ eyes; they weren’t as brainwashed as the Tidals.

“You won’t have access to your human emotions or strengths,” I rushed to say. “You’ll lose your—“ a scream pierced the air when their claws slashed at my barrier. Dozens of claws, hitting me at once. Though they only met my barrier, it was the sudden sharp drain on my energy that was painful.

Another roar sounded, somewhere in the castle. The walls shook with the fury in the Blood Alpha’s battle cry, but I knew he wouldn’t make it to me.

I tried to part the crowd with a barrier, to make myself a path to the staircase, but the space I made was quickly filled with even more Tidals and Pines.

Their claws slammed my barrier again, and again. The layer keeping them back from me shattered, and I crashed to my knees, gasping for air.

Their claws smashed into me, slicing against my magic over and over and over. I held it with everything I had; it was my final defense.

But I knew what they wanted; they had to wear my magic down to expose my throat and heart, to kill me the way they’d killed Cina and Lennox and who knew how many others.

The second layer of my barrier broke, and the magic remaining was nearly nothing.

When the first swipe of claws cut through my magic and into my skin, another scream escaped me.

They roared in triumph, even as pain burned through me.

More claws bit into me.

Burning…

I needed fire. To stay alive, I needed phoenix fire.

But I wasn’t a shifter.

The lalidro on my abdomen seemed to throb, even as the pain grew so intense that my mind detached from my body.

I wasn’t a shifter, but I was connected to one.

Hopefully, the one I thought.

With my last spark of energy, I grabbed the connection I shared with the desedra’s champion, praying to the beasts above and below that it was Tuslan, and demanded fire.

If he was right about the lalidro only connecting beings instead of magic, it wouldn’t work. But it didn’t feel like a physical connection to me; it felt like magic.

The darkness of unconsciousness or death swirled around me. The fire was coming—I could feel it—but it was slow.

Too slow.

Darkness engulfed me.

33

Tuslan

I’d never felt this desperation before.

I was connected to Mesa—I’d won the fucking competition—but she wasn’t at the end of the maze. Now the invisible walls had vanished, but I could hear her screams of pain.

I sprinted through the castle on wolf legs, but there was no scent guiding me to her, and the place was swamped with Pines and Tidals.

I ripped heads from bodies and hearts from chests, killing as many of the fuckers as I could as I moved toward the sound of my female. She was far. Too far, and there were too many obstacles.

The new connection between us wavered, and fear like I’d never known cut through my center.

She was dying.

I felt her consciousness brush mine. It shocked me so much I skidded to a stop, in the middle of a fucking hallway.

She didn’t speak to me, but I felt her reaching for my magic. I felt what she wanted.

Fire.

I didn’t know if it would work, but I shoved it toward her.

It wasn’t enough. Physical pain wracked me as the lalidro began to fade once again.

I roared, fury and anger and grief consuming me. I wouldn’t accept the loss of my Queen even though I could feel she was gone.

I felt my own sanity begin to fade with the lalidro.

Mesa was Tendira’s Soul; without her, we couldn’t retain our humanity.

But in legends, phoenix fire could resurrect. It could revive the dead.

I doubted it was true, but the legends about her being the tether of our souls and humanity seemed real, so I couldn’t let her go without trying.

With the last of my awareness, I pushed every fucking ounce of fire I had into the disappearing connection between us. Not to burn; to heal.

To resurrect.

Everything I was, everything I had, was hers.

The connection burned back to life as I lost myself to the mindlessness of my wolf.

Epilogue

Mesa

I opened my eyes, staring up at the tile ceiling in a room that smelled of smoke and ashes.

It took a minute for everything to come back.

The lalidro, the attack, the darkness…

The fire.

It had burned away the darkness.

I sat up, my hand lifting to my head as it pounded and the room spun around me. The floor and walls were gray and black with burns and who knew what else. A thick layer of ash lined the ground, coating my skin too. I coughed as I inhaled it.

I remembered the men who had been surrounding me, and my stomach churned when I wondered if they were the ashes.

Yeah, I wasn’t going to think about that.

Howls and snarls pulled my attention to the window behind me, wide open and clear. The sun was setting, as it had been before the desedra whisked me away.

Had that only been minutes earlier? It felt like hours, or years.

My eyes dropped to my stomach, and my lips parted when I saw the inky lalidro still on my skin.

It had to be connecting me to Tuslan, right? The fire had to be his. I didn’t feel any flames lingering inside me; I hadn’t miraculously become a shifter or anything.

So the fire was probably his.

Hopefully.

Unless I’d somehow gotten linked to another phoenix who’d flooded me with his flames. Which seemed unlikely.

I gingerly made my way to my feet. My magic was burned out again, my body exhausted and shaky. I leaned up against the window, peering outside.

My lips parted in horror when I saw what was happening below me.

Wolves were fighting. Divided in groups—packs. There wasn’t a shred of skin in sight, only fur and tails and claws.

My heart clenched at what that meant.

I had died. Not just passed out—died.

The Tidals got their way.

I could still feel my barrier magic, though it was out of my reach for the moment.

I was still the Queen, but… the Pillar had fallen.

And I was right; with me, the shifters fell too.

A snarl in the doorway had me spinning around, clutching the side of the windowsill for balance.

In the doorway stood a massive white wolf, with an inky lalidro climbing up the sides of his fur. Blood soaked his muzzle and much of the rest of him.

Tuslan had done it. He’d won.

But he’d fallen with the other shifters too.

“It’s me.” I lifted my hands beside my head.

He snarled again, prowling toward me.

Shit.

Taken out by the almost-mate whose magic had literally raised me from the dead…oh, the irony.

His nose met my throat all of the sudden, and then he was poking around my body. Sniffing me. Checking me?

I didn’t know if he was looking for other scents or injuries or what. I didn’t know how a full-beast Tuslan thought. Or if he thought at all.

But he hadn’t ripped my head off, so I decided I didn’t care how or if he thought.

He stepped back, snarling at the ashes on the floor. His teeth caught in the side of my ash-coated billowy pants, and he dragged me toward the door.

I stumbled, catching myself on his back. “Easy,” I murmured. “I’m breakable right now.”

He snarled again, over the fabric.

Step by step, he led me carefully down a circling staircase. The walls and steps were littered with blood and dead bodies, but I tried not to look at or think about them.

Even after we reached the bottom of the stairs, we moved slow, making our way through hallways filled with more bodies.

Tears flooded my eyes at the horror in what I was seeing; what had happened.

How many shifters had Tuslan killed to reach me?

I didn’t think I wanted to know the answer.

There were bodies of wolves from multiple packs, so I didn’t think Tuslan alone was responsible for the carnage, but I was sure he’d done plenty of damage.

He led me inside Cina’s old rooms, then into the space that had become ours. He closed the door with his leg and then dropped to the floor on his belly. His side rested against the only way in or out of the room, and he stared at me.

I stared back.

Tuslan was trapped in his beast form, human mind seemingly absent.

My magic wouldn’t return for a few days, during which I needed an immense amount of sleep.

All of Tendira had gone savage, their humanity blinking out with my life.

Beasts above and below, what was I going to do?

Read book 3, Anchor of the Beasts, HERE

AFTERTHOUGHTS

Whew! What a ride.

I’m not even sure what to say here, and I always have something to say haha.

I love Mesa.

I love Tuslan.

I love Tendira and its crazy shifters. I can’t wait to see where they go next, and I hope you can’t either.

Aren’t Mesa and Tuslan adorable together?!

Anyway, I’m obsessed, like always!

Thanks for reading, and all the love,

Lola Glass

PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW

Here it is. The awkward page at the end of the book where the author begs you to leave a review.

Believe me, I hate it more than you do.

But, this is me swallowing my pride and asking.

Whether you loved or hated this story, you made it this far, so please review! Your reviews play a MASSIVE role in determining whether others read my books, and ultimately, writing is a job for me—even if it’s the best job ever—so I write what people are reading.

Regardless of whether you do or not, thank you so much for reading <3

-Lola

BOOKS BY LOLA GLASS:

SHIFTER QUEEN:

SOUL OF THE PACK

PILLAR OF THE WOLVES

ANCHOR OF THE BEASTS

TETHER OF THE MONSTERS

REJECTED MATE REFUGE:

WOLF TAMER

WOLF CHARMER

WOLF WHISPERER

CHOSEN MATE

MATE TRACKER

SPIRIT WOLF

WICKED PACK

*FINISHED SERIES*

MATE HUNT STANDALONES:

THROWN TO THE WOLVES

SHIFTER CITY:

RUBY WOLF

RUBY ALPHA

RUBY MATE

*FINISHED TRILOGY*

WOLFSBANE:

RUNNING FROM THE WOLVES

RUNNING BESIDE THE ALPHA

RUNNING WITH THE PACK

RUNNING FROM MY MATE (JAMIE’S NOVELLA)

RUNNING TO MY WOLF (LONDON’S NOVELLA)

*FINISHED SERIES*

SUPERNATURAL UNDERWORLD:

A SEER AMONG SHIFTERS

AN ORACLE AMONG HOUNDS

*FINISHED DUOLOGY*

Check out my reader group, Lola's Book Lovers

for giveaways, book recommendations, and more!

Or find me on:

ETSY

INSTAGRAM

PINTEREST

GOODREADS

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Teller of stories. Wrangler of children. Buyer of Chinese food. Creator of art. Lover of life.

If that’s too vague for you, Lola is a twenty-something with a *slight* werewolf obsession and a passion for love—real love. Not the flowers-and-chocolates kind of love, but the kind where two people build a relationship strong enough to last. That’s the kind of relationship she loves to read about, and the kind she tries to portray in her books.

Even if they’re about shifters :)