- Twenty-four Days

- Copyright © 2009 by Janet Albert

- Acknowledgements

- Chapter One

- Chapter Two

- Chapter Three

- Chapter Four

- Chapter Five

- Chapter Six

- Chapter Seven

- Chapter Eight

- Chapter Nine

- Chapter Ten

- Chapter Eleven

- Chapter Twelve

- Chapter Thirteen

- Chapter Fourteen

- Chapter Fifteen

- Chapter Sixteen

- Chapter Seventeen

- Chapter Eighteen

- Chapter Nineteen

- Chapter Twenty

- Chapter Twenty-one

- Chapter Twenty-two

- Chapter Twenty-three

- Chapter Twenty-four

- Chapter Twenty-five

- Chapter Twenty-six

- Chapter Twenty-seven

- Other Yellow Rose titles you might enjoy

- About the Author

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Twenty-Four Days by Janet Albert

Copyright © 2009 by Janet Albert

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. Parts of this work are fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, or events is entirely coincidental.

ISBN 978-1-935053-16-3 (eBooks)

eBook Conversion July 2010

Cover design by Donna Pawlowski

Published by:

Regal Crest Enterprises, LLC

4700 Hwy 365, Suite A, PMB 210

Port Arthur, Texas 7764

Find us on the World Wide Web at http://www.regalcrest.biz

Published in the United States of America

Acknowledgments

I thoroughly enjoyed writing this book. The idea came to me when I was surfing the net and I came across a number of cruise ship itineraries. Since I'm in the medical field, I started reading about cruise ship medicine and this story began to take shape in my mind. It grew and grew and well, this is what it became. I hope you enjoy it.

Thanks to Cathy LeNoir and all the wonderful people at Regal Crest Enterprises for taking a chance on a new author. A special and heartfelt thank you goes to my editor, Pat Cronin, for making an arduous process almost seem like fun and for helping me to make this into a better book. You taught me a lot of things I'll never forget. I'd also like to thank Brenda Adcock for her input and Donna Pawlowski for the beautiful book cover.

My partner, Mary, deserves my special gratitude for reading all the drafts of this book again and again and for listening to me and encouraging me to continue writing even when I had my doubts. Everyone should have a number one fan and your constant love and support mean the world to me.

Thanks to my wonderful beta readers, Norma Serrato and Donna O'Hara-Lewis. Norma, thanks for your keen eye, your invaluable suggestions and your friendship. Donna, thanks for offering to read this even though it's not your kind of story and thanks for thirty plus years of friendship.

I would be remiss if I failed to thank a couple of authors who helped and supported me since I started writing. Gerri Hill, I can't tell you how much I've appreciated your support and your words of wisdom. You're a kind and intelligent woman and I hope I can write books as well-crafted and enjoyable as yours. Lori

L. Lake, thank you for your kindness and generosity and for being my cyberspace mentor as well as my informal writing coach through your wonderful web site and your articles on the craft of writing.

Most importantly, I'd like to extend my deepest gratitude to the readers and faithful fans of lesbian fiction all over the world. Without you, this would all be for nothing.

This book is dedicated to Cathy LeNoir and everyone at Regal Crest Enterprises, because this is my first and because you all made it happen.

Chapter One

The Mediterranean port city of Civitavecchia, Italy

MIRANDA SET HER bags down on the massive concrete pier and stopped to study the ship from a distance. Rising eleven stories above sea level, she seemed to scrape against the sky, her staggering length and breadth impossible to comprehend from such a vantage point. Towering royal blue letters in a fancy script spelled out the name, Sea Goddess, on the gleaming white hull, while beneath the name clusters of blue stars with long flowing red tails danced merrily across the bow.

"She's a beauty, isn't she?"

Startled from her thoughts, Miranda turned to see who owned the low, sensuous voice that had soaked into her solitude like the warmth of the Mediterranean sun. Gorgeous was the first word that entered her mind, a word she instantly dismissed as too poor a choice to describe the woman who stood before her. "Uh...uh, yes, very," she managed to say. Then, thinking her reply insufficient, she said, "She, the ship I mean. I look at her and I can't help but think she's dying to break free of her moorings."

"Now that you mention it, she does look a bit restless. She's probably dying to be cruising out on the open seas instead of sitting here doing nothing, and who can blame her? That's what she was born to do--to see the world--and so far, she's hardly been anywhere."

"I've been on cruise ships before, but I've never been on one quite this magnificent or this new. It never ceases to amaze me that something so incredibly massive can float. I know the scientific principles, but still..."

"I find it amazing, too, and let me tell you, she can move. Before her first cruise, the captain told us that she's capable of gliding across the surface of the water at cruising speeds up to twenty-six knots." The woman caught sight of Miranda's bags. "I sure hope you're not one of the new passengers, honey, because if you are, you've arrived way too early. The passengers aren't scheduled to start boarding until Wednesday at noon and we aren't leaving until that evening, at six sharp."

"I know. I'm not a passenger. I'm here to work on the ship." Honey?

"Hey, that's great. I work on the ship too. My name's Jamie, by the way."

"I'm Miranda." She wiped her hand on her jeans and stuck it out in front of her.

Jamie shook it vigorously. "Nice to meet you Miranda." A second later, she raised her wrist and glanced at her watch. "Oops. So sorry. I'd love to talk, but I've gotta run." And run she did, like a gazelle, toward the ship. "Have a good day." She threw the words into the silence between them, waving goodbye with her hand held high in the air.

Miranda watched Jamie's finely shaped backside fade into the distance, wondering where she worked and if she'd ever see her again. Shrugging her shoulders, she lifted her bags, walked to the end of the pier and proceeded straight up the gangplank.

The instant she stepped inside the ship, a member of the hospitality crew greeted her. He was a handsome young man with neatly trimmed dark hair and deep set eyes. Obviously, he considered the task of handling the arrival of new staff and crew members an important one and by his demeanor, Miranda understood that he took his assignment seriously. He looked so earnest and proud that she almost thought she heard him click the heels of his spit polished shoes together as he saluted her.

"Hello, Miss." He smoothed the front of his starched and spotless white dress uniform. "May I be of assistance to you?"

"I believe so. I'm the ship's doctor."

"Yes, Doctor..." As he slid his index finger down a long list of names attached to his clipboard, he said, "You are...here you are, Dr. Miranda Ross?"

"That's me." Miranda smiled at the pleasant young man. He spoke English well, but his easily recognizable accent left no doubt in her mind that he was Italian.

"I am Enrico Borelli. Welcome aboard."

"Nice to meet you, Enrico," she said as she offered him her hand.

He lifted her hand and barely touched his lips to it in a feather light kiss as he bowed slightly from the waist. "Did you arrive in Rome this morning, Doctor Ross?"

"No, I arrived last Thursday. I wanted to see some of the city before I reported to the ship because I've never been to Rome before." She omitted telling him that she'd flown home for a two week break before beginning this new assignment, to visit her family and look at a house she thought she might buy. "I spent all of Friday, Saturday and Sunday seeing the city."

"Very good. Everyone should visit the Eternal City at least once in their lifetime. It is very beautiful." He smiled broadly, nodding his head. "You loved it, yes?"

"Yes, I loved it. I saw the places I've always wanted to see but someday I'd like to go back and spend more time there and see more of it. I take it you've been there?"

"Yes, many times. My family lives near Rome and when I'm not working on the ship, I go there by train," he informed her. "I have a lady friend there."

"Then you do know the city?"

"Yes, I do. I hope you didn't eat too much gelato."

"Not unless you consider eating some every day to be too much. I had the gelato instead of having lunch, though, and I burned most of it off by walking around all day. At least that's the excuse I gave myself."

He laughed. "What flavors do you like the most?"

"All of them, unfortunately, but my favorites are Pistachio and Chocolate Hazelnut." As they talked, she glanced around at the interior of the ship, amazed, as always, by the extreme opulence of the cruise ships.

"She's beautiful, yes?" he asked, as if he had read her thoughts.

"You're the second person who has said that to me today and yes, she's magnificent." The ship's interior elegance would rival any five star resort hotel anywhere in the world. "It's too glitzy for my tastes. It has way too much glass and chrome and too much red and gold, but as far as cruise ships go this is one of the prettiest I've ever seen."

"She was built on the northern Adriatic coast at the Monfalcone shipyards here in Italy by Fincantieri. They are the most famous builders of cruise ships in the entire world." He beamed with pride as if he owned her himself. "She cost over three hundred million American dollars."

"Wow," Miranda responded accordingly. "Now that's impressive."

"That is a lot of money." He pointed to the name plate on the lapel of his blazer. "You remember my name, Doctor. I am at your service. Anything you need, anything at all, you ask for me."

"Thanks, Enrico. The same goes for you. You have a problem or you need my help, you come and see me, okay?"

"Okay, grazie. But, I hope I will not need your help." Enrico grimaced.

"I understand. I hope you don't either."

"You will love this cruise. We go to some of the world's most beautiful places." Enrico pressed the tips of his index and middle fingers against the tip of his thumb, kissed them noisily and offered the kiss up to the heavens. "Magnifico."

"I can hardly wait. This is my first time on the Mediterranean circuit." She pointed to her bags. "Can I trouble you to ask someone to take these to my cabin? I need to check in with the captain to let him know I'm here. Then, before I do one more thing, I need to get something to eat because I foolishly skipped breakfast."

"No problem. Leave them here with me. When you get back to your cabin, they will be there waiting for you." Enrico flourished his hand and bowed at the waist.

"Great. Now, do you have any idea where I might find Captain Carlisle?"

Enrico waved to another worker and signaled for him to come over. "Marcus, take Dr. Ross to the bridge to see the captain."

"Okay, Enrico. No problem." Marcus flashed a row of straight white teeth Miranda's way. "Come with me, Doctor."

"Just a second." Miranda turned to Enrico. "Thanks for all your help. You've been very kind. Remember what I said. If you need anything..."

"I remember. Grazie." Enrico bowed once again.

Chapter Two

WHILE THE SHIP sat in port for several days, the entire staff and crew prepared for the upcoming Wednesday evening departure which would mark the onset of the next cruise. Every inch of the ship had to be cleaned and polished from stem to stern and any needed repairs and routine maintenance had to be performed. The crew unloaded tons of garbage and brought on enormous quantities of supplies and food, all of which had to be put away.

Jamie Jeffries, the head fitness trainer, and her staff worked to ready the fitness center, one of the most popular and most used areas of the ship. The fitness center had to be prepared, for the next onslaught of passengers. The ship was built to carry nineteen hundred and fifty passengers and based on past experience, a substantial number of them would line up on the very first morning of the cruise to check out the gym, sign up for classes and schedule private sessions with a personal trainer.

Jamie had never worked in a fitness center like the one on the Sea Goddess. It adorned a good third of the top deck of the ship like a brilliant crown, bejeweled with aqua-tinted glass walls set in sun-kissed steel. Its majestic rows of exercise machines faced the curved glass walls, affording the guests a breathtaking view of the sea and sky while they huffed and puffed their way to a state of health and well-being.

"Jamie, where would you like me to put these?" Alicia, one of the fitness trainers, shouted from the other side of the gym, holding up one of the new flexible body bars she'd just unpacked.

"Right over there." Jamie pointed to the mirrored wall in the rear of the weight lifting room. "Stand them up against the wall by the free weights."

Jamie finished what she was doing and walked over to join Alicia. "We've got a couple of boxes of new balance balls and stretch bands in the back room. Would you mind getting one or two of the other trainers to help you put a few more of them out with the rest of the floor exercise equipment?"

"Sure no problem. Can it wait until first thing tomorrow morning?"

"I don't care when you do it as long as they're out before the cruise begins."

"They will be. I can't wait until we get a new set of guests. I love these lesbian cruises and I really love all those sweaty women in tight, skimpy work out clothes."

Jamie studied her sexy co-worker. Alicia's girlish, almost innocent appearance belied her uninhibited and mischievous nature. She was into her body and since she'd joined the cruise ships, she had embarked on a rigorous sow your wild oats campaign nearly as physically demanding as her fitness regimen. "You're too much," Jamie told her.

"You should talk. Everyone who lays eyes on you stops dead in their tracks. I've seen people look you over from head to toe and then go back for seconds. I've seen more than one mouth hang open. I've seen women practically drool. They can't help themselves."

"Come on, Alicia. You're exaggerating." Jamie rested her hands on her hips. "It's true I get more than my share of offers, but..." Jamie smiled. As always, Alicia's greatly embellished observations amused her. "Wait a minute. I didn't know you were watching them watching me."

"Well, it's kind of hard to miss, and besides, I kind of enjoy watching you. "

Jamie laughed a low throaty laugh. "Can I help it if some people think I'm sexy?"

"First of all, it's not some people and secondly, it's not a matter of opinion. You are sexy. In fact, you girl, are some serious eye candy. To prove my point, look at you in that top and those shorts, with that body and those legs. Jesus, do you have any idea how you look? You're a poster girl for the benefits of fitness training, a vision of perfection."

"Enough..." Jamie raised her hand. "Enough already. I'm glad you think so, but just remember, I wasn't born this way--I had to work hard to get my body to look like this. Who knows, maybe I have a higher testosterone level than most women. I'm just physically fit, that's all."

"That's not all and physically fit is an understatement. It might begin to describe how you got that body of yours, but you definitely weren't standing in the back of the line when they handed out the good looks, I can tell you that."

"Okay, I think you've said more than enough. You can cut the flattery and you can quit flirting with me. Aren't there enough women around to ogle at?"

"No. There's never enough." Alicia laughed out loud. "I'm simply admiring you and telling the truth as I see it. I think you're a knockout and you're sexy as hell."

"In that case, I'll simply say thank you, Alicia." Casual encounters were easy to come by on the ships and Jamie often found herself under the watchful eye of many an admirer. Almost on a daily basis, someone came on to her or asked her out on a date. Usually it was one of the lesbian passengers, but sometimes it was a staff member or even one of the men on the ship.

"I'm happy to see you can accept a few compliments."

"I can, but I do hope you think of me as more than eye candy, as you so tastefully described me."

"Of course I do. You know that, don't you?"

"Yeah, I guess I do. Now, since we're about done for today, do you want to work out for a while? Maybe an hour or so? After that, I thought we'd get cleaned up and get some lunch. I feel like having a big salad with grilled chicken."

"What a surprise. That's all you ever eat. That or cottage cheese and fruit."

"That's not true," Jamie clarified. "I'm only strict about my diet when I'm working. I eat a lot of other things when I'm off. Sometimes I even eat ice cream or pizza."

"Are you serious? Please tell me it isn't true." Alicia opened her mouth wide and covered it with her hand, but not enough to hide the smile lifting the corners of her mouth. "Please don't destroy my ideal."

Jamie laughed quietly. "All right, knock it off. You of all people should appreciate how I can't afford to let myself go. People need to believe in some sort of ideal and I have to be that ideal. I have to set an example. They need to trust what I say and be able to believe they can look the way I do if they work hard enough."

Alicia stared at her for an extended moment before she said, "I understand what you're saying, but believing they could look like you would really require a major leap of faith."

Jamie made a face. "You know what I mean."

"I do, and when you're right, you're right. Salad it is. Far be it from me to argue with such sound logic."

"I knew you'd come around to my way of thinking." Jamie scanned the gym one last time. "All the equipment's inspected and ready. Tomorrow we'll do a final check to see if we have everything done and then we'll have a little free time before the passengers put the fun back into this floating steel hotel."

"By the way, I heard we're getting a new doctor. I'm sure he'll be coming around to check on us and give us another training session on how to use that damn defibrillator thing. The thought of sending an electrical current through a person's heart gives me the willies. It sounds like something out of a horror movie."

"I agree." Jamie's look of disgust confirmed just how much. "I hope we never have to use it and I hope this new doctor's a whole lot nicer than the last guy we had. He was a jerk. What is it about some doctors?"

"I don't know. I'm sure glad I never had to go see him for anything." Alicia closed her eyes and shook her head rapidly as if shaking off a sudden chill. "Well, let's get going so we can get on with the fun part of our day. Why don't we go to the pool after we eat and veg out in the sun for a while?"

"Sure, that would be great. I'm looking forward to relaxing."

"I'm going to the staff party later tonight. Wanna come?"

"Why not? I'm not going to drink much or stay up too late, though. I don't want to be tired tomorrow. We still have a lot more work to do."

Alicia nodded. "Where do you want to start our workout?"

"How about doing a half-hour of aerobics first and then maybe a half-hour of strength training? We don't have to kill ourselves, not today."

"Absolutely not. I think I'll start on the treadmill."

"Me too." Jamie followed Alicia and stepped onto the treadmill next to hers. "It's an absolutely gorgeous day, isn't it? Look at the color of that sky."

"It certainly is. Makes you feel good to be alive, doesn't it?"

"Aren't you going home soon, for a break?" Jamie asked.

"Yes, after these next two cruises. I didn't tell you this, yet, but when I get home, I'm going to talk to my family about staying on the ships for another year, maybe longer."

"I think you should. You're young and it's good money and..."

"And it's fun, don't forget that," Alicia interrupted. "I get to see some of the most beautiful places in the world and sunbathe on the world's greatest beaches. I'll never have another chance like this again."

"Exactly. You have plenty of time to settle down later." Jamie wiped a fine layer of sweat from her brow.

"That's what I told my parents when I took this job, but you know how parents can be. They think I'm on a perpetual vacation. They don't understand how hard we work. Yeah, we have fun and all, but while we're on board it's work, work, work."

"You're right about that, sweetie." Jamie sighed. "Work, work, work."

"What about you, Jamie? How long are you planning on doing this?"

"That depends. Right now my future is up in the air." Jamie's future was more like an uprooted tree swept away by hurricane force winds. In fact, she didn't even have a place to live back in the states. Her things could fit in a car if she had one, which she didn't.

"So who needs a future? We should live for the moment anyway."

"Yeah, for now let's just get through today."

Chapter Three

"CAN I HELP you?" The question floated down from a young woman balanced on the top rung of a folding ladder, busily arranging boxes of sterile gauze pads and medical supplies on the shelves of a metal cabinet.

"I'm Dr. Ross," Miranda informed her, looking up at the petite blonde. "I'll be filling in for a while until your new doctor gets here." She held her hand up in the air, offering to help the young woman climb down.

"Hi, Doctor Ross." After wiping the palm of her hand on the side of her jeans, she grasped Miranda's hand to steady herself as she carefully descended. "We were thinking that you might arrive any minute now."

"I actually got here earlier, but I had to meet with the captain, eat lunch and get my things unpacked. Please call me Miranda. I'm not into being formal with the staff, especially when there aren't any patients around. And you are?"

"I'm sorry. Excuse my manners or lack of them, I should say. I'm Lynn, one of the nurses." Lynn held her hand out and shook Miranda's. "Pleasure to meet you."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Lynn. I'm looking forward to working with you, even if it is only for the next twenty-four days--well, twenty-six if you count today and tomorrow. For the next two cruises, anyway."

"Same here. The captain told us you'd be covering until our permanent doctor arrives. I guess he got delayed because of some kind of family emergency? His mother had heart surgery or something?"

"She had a coronary bypass, I believe. My contract was up, but I agreed to cover the ship for him until we reach Barcelona. He should be coming on board then."

"That was nice of you to do that."

"Well, it's unusual, but it worked out for me, so here I am." Miranda saw no reason to expand any further. "How long have you been a cruise ship nurse?"

"Well, let's see..." Lynn concentrated on the ceiling while she scratched her short, spiked blond hair. "It was exactly a year the fifth of last month. I know because I signed another contract. What about you?"

"It's been two years now." Miranda marveled at how much time had passed since her sister had suggested she become a cruise ship doctor. At the time it struck Miranda as an insane idea straight from the lips of a lunatic and yet, she'd ended up doing it.

"What are you going to do after this, if you don't mind me asking?"

"No, I don't mind at all," Miranda replied. "It's nothing exciting though. I'll be going back home and getting on with my life. I know some doctors choose to do this for a living and I can even understand why to some extent, but this is too strange and too lonely a life, even for someone like me."

"I don't plan on doing this forever, either. You said you'd be going home. Where exactly is your home?"

"I live in Washington, DC. You've got a familiar accent, Lynn, but I can't quite place it. Where are you from?"

"Canada. Calgary to be exact."

"How many ships have you been on so far?"

"This is my third. I joined the Sea Goddess for her first cruise."

"Good. I'm not going to be here long so I'll need someone who knows their way around. Have you always been on the lesbian cruises?"

"No, sadly enough, but they're my favorite." Lynn said.

"Mine, too. One of the reasons I took the job was because I knew I'd be on the lesbian cruises. I couldn't stand the thoughts of taking care of a hoard of partying heterosexual singles or worse yet, a ship full of couples and their adorable children."

"I'm ashamed to admit it, but I hate that, too." Blushing slightly, Lynn went onto say, "I like the all women cruises. I've met some interesting people and made a few friends along the way."

"I prefer to keep to myself. I don't like everyone knowing my personal business and I find that people are far too fascinated by the ship's doctor as it is." Miranda guessed Lynn couldn't be any more than eight years her junior and yet she felt a hundred years older than the young nurse. Somewhere along the way, she'd lost the innocence of youth, the optimism, and the blind trust in others that she'd once possessed. But then, having a lover who breaks your heart and walks out on you would do that. When Lynn became silent, Miranda asked, "Is the rest of the medical staff on board?"

"Yeah, they're at lunch but they'll be back any minute. We have a nurse practitioner. Her name is Toni and we have a male nurse named Guy. What do you think of that, huh? A guy named Guy."

"That's really something." Miranda smiled in spite of herself. Lynn was easy to talk to and quite likable and if she liked the others half as much, she'd have a pleasant month to look forward to. "I was thrilled when the captain told me I'd have a nurse practitioner on board. She'll make my job a lot easier."

"You'll like Toni. She's terrific." Lynn looked serious as she changed gears and got down to business. "So, do you want me to show you around?"

"Yes, if you don't mind. Just give me a quick run through, because I'd prefer to explore on my own over the next couple of days. I need to actually see things with my own eyes before they sink in. I'm one of those visual learners."

"Whatever you want to do, although you don't have to worry about where everything is. We nurses will get you anything you need."

"I know, but I don't expect to be waited on hand and foot," Miranda told her. "You know, practicing medicine has never been the problem for me anytime I've started a new job. Getting comfortable and getting to know where everything is, now that's the hard part."

"It's the same for us nurses. Come on, I'll show you the lab first." Lynn led Miranda into a small room. "We're probably the same as the other ships you've been on. We can run basic lab tests, just to treat emergencies and stabilize patients."

"This looks like the last one I had."

Next, Lynn took Miranda on a brief tour of the pharmacy and after that, she took her back into the main room of the infirmary. "We have a better set up than the older ships. We have two infirmary beds and one monitored intensive care bed. We also have another portable monitor and a ventilator. We keep our X-ray and EKG machines over there." Lynn pointed to a locked supply room.

"This is nice," Miranda said. "More modern than the other ships I've been on, better equipped, too." Miranda sat in one of the chairs at a charting area and motioned for Lynn to sit down next to her. "What kind of nursing did you do at home?"

"After I graduated, I worked on a general medical floor for a couple of years and then I transferred to the Emergency Room for two years."

"Tell me a little about the others."

"Toni has loads of ICU experience and every nursing certification you can get. She worked at a trauma center in Los Angeles. Guy used to be an Army medic and then he became a nurse after he left the service. He worked in an ER in Miami. He's single and kind of macho, but he's nice and he has a goofy sense of humor. He says he's cruising to meet chicks."

"Much like most of the lesbians on board." Miranda laughed.

Lynn joined in the laughter. "That's true."

"With the extensive range of experience this team has, we should be able to handle anything that comes our way."

"That's a big should--one that keeps me up at night," Lynn said.

"Me too, sometimes."

"Wait here." Lynn left Miranda sitting there while she went into a small office area. A few minutes later she returned waving a couple of sheets of paper in the air. She handed one of them to Miranda. "Here's a list of where we keep all of the automatic defibrillators on the ship. It's also posted on the bulletin board in the infirmary."

Miranda stood and briefly scanned the list. "Looks like the usual places--the fitness center, main dining room, promenade deck."

"Here." Lynn handed Miranda the second sheet of paper. "Here's a list of the places that have their own first aid kits. As you can see there's another code cart in the fitness center identical to the one we have down here."

"That's great. We won't have to drag one up there."

"Come on, I'll show you your office," Lynn said, leading the way.

"This is a nice office." Miranda ran her hand over the top edge of the brand new flat screen computer monitor. She placed the papers Lynn gave her down on the desk. "I'll look these over more carefully, later."

Lynn pointed to a chart on the wall. "There's a diagram of the entire ship. Shows you where everything is located."

"Great. Thanks, Lynn."

"One last thing, Miranda. I want to show you the SeaMed system. I know you've used it on the other ships, but we've got the latest equipment." Lynn took Miranda back into the infirmary. The SeaMed system allowed the ship's medical staff to consult with specialists from a major medical center back in the states. With the click of a button, they would be able to send data and video images through cyberspace and receive advice on how to handle a complex case.

Miranda took a good look at the new system. "This is a little different than the one I used on the last ship, but I'm sure I'll get the hang of it."

"You will and we'll help you if you need it. We're connected to..."

"We're back," a plump brunette with short hair sang out as she and a brawny looking man, burst into the room. "Oops...sorry Lynn." She stopped dead in her tracks. "Didn't know you had company."

"Hey, glad you're back." Lynn held her hand out toward Miranda. "This is the doctor who's covering until the new one gets here." Lynn launched right into the introductions. "Doctor Ross, this is Toni O'Dell and Guy Ellison." She pointed to each of them as she said their name. "The rest of the nursing staff."

Toni's friendly demeanor changed rapidly to a more serious one. She stepped closer and shook hands with Miranda. "Nice to meet you Doctor." Then she went over and stood next to Lynn.

Guy came up to Miranda, took her hand in his and shook it. "Welcome aboard. Nice to have you with us."

Noticing the side glances between Guy and Toni and the way they had changed so suddenly when Lynn told them who she was, Miranda thought she'd better break the ice and set the tone for the rest of their time together. She didn't blame them for being leery of her. They had no idea what she was like. They were used to working with each other and now she comes on the scene, the instant boss by virtue of her position in the pecking order. She didn't know what the previous doctor had been like and she knew only too well what some doctors could be like. "I want you all to know I have nothing but respect for nurses, especially the ones I've worked with on the ships. I know how hard you all work and I haven't met a single nurse who hasn't been a dedicated and talented professional."

"Thanks for saying that," Toni said.

"Yeah, we appreciate it," Guy added.

"How many patients do you see in a day, on average?" Miranda asked.

"Around thirty-five to forty," Guy answered.

"That's about what I'm used to." Miranda hoped that they were beginning to feel more at ease. "Tell you what. Why don't we all have dinner later on this evening? We can talk and get to know each other better."

"Sounds good," Toni said, looking from Lynn to Guy for confirmation. All three of them nodded their heads enthusiastically.

"Good," Miranda said. "I don't know about all of you, but I find it hard to function in a tense atmosphere. I admire a strong work ethic, but I don't believe people perform their best under pressure. I'm not talking about the pressure inherent in the job, because we can't do anything about that. I'm talking about unnecessary pressure inflicted on them by someone else." She saw them glance at each other and smile as though they knew exactly what she meant. "I'm easy to get along with and no one has complained about working with me yet, at least not to my face." As they laughed, she saw them visibly relax. "We all know what we have to do, so let's stick together and we'll be just fine."

Toni breathed an audible sigh of relief. "That sounds good to me."

"Me too," Guy said, grinning.

"Me three," Lynn chimed in. "I hope I'm not out of line saying this, but the last doctor we had was very hard to work with. He was ill-tempered and demanding and downright unpleasant. Toni used to say he was proof personified of what can happen when a person's intellect greatly exceeds their emotional development." Lynn looked at Toni. "Hope you don't mind me quoting you?"

"No," Toni reassured her. "I did say it and I'd say it again. In his case both his intellect and his emotional maturity were sorely lacking. It's awful to say that about someone, but it was the truth. When he put in a transfer, we all went out and celebrated."

"I've worked with all kinds, believe me, and I recognize his type," Miranda said. She smiled at the three of them for a moment and then she said, "You guys decide where you want to eat and we'll all meet back here around six. I like to eat just about everything, so surprise me. Tomorrow morning we'll meet here at nine to go over work schedules and discuss who's doing what and when. Then we'll have the rest of the day to make sure we're set up and ready. Does that sound acceptable to you?"

"It does," they all said in unison.

"Don't worry about a thing, Doctor," Toni added. "We know how to handle just about anything that might come our way and we'll be right here to back you up."

"Yeah, we're all in this together," Guy said. "If you don't mind, Toni and I have some things left to do before we call it a day. We'd better get to it."

"Sure, don't let me keep you," Miranda said. "I'll see you both later."

After they left, Miranda turned to Lynn. "I think I'll get my office set up and then go to my cabin for a while. I'd like to finish getting settled in and rest a while before we all go out. I also have to visit the fitness center sometime soon."

"I think that's where Guy just went. He said he wanted to check their first aid kit and code cart and make sure everything was stocked and ready to go." As she talked, Lynn opened a box of syringes and started putting them away in a drawer.

"Good, maybe I won't go there until Wednesday morning. I need to see the place and touch base with the person in charge before the cruise starts."

Lynn stopped replenishing supplies and gave Miranda her undivided attention. "That would be a woman. I don't know her personally, but I've seen her. Wait until you get a load of her. Even if I worked out day and night, seven days a week, I'd never look as fine as that woman does. It's not normal."

"It probably isn't normal and if it makes you feel any better, she's probably got good genetics and a body that rejects fat." Miranda regrouped her thoughts and asked, "When's the last time the staff up there was trained to use the automatic external defibrillator?"

"Toni did that before the first cruise and she did a review two weeks ago."

"Excellent. I also want to visit the fitness center because I'm thinking about signing up for a fitness program myself," Miranda explained. "When I started doing this, I ate way too much and gained about ten pounds, so I decided I'd better stop eating everything in sight. You've heard that old adage about coming on as passengers and leaving as cargo, haven't you? Well, I think it should also say coming on as staff and leaving as cargo."

Lynn nodded, laughing quietly. "I hear you. I had to get a grip on myself before I turned into a blimp. The buffets and dessert tables are the hardest thing for me."

"You and me both," Miranda confessed. "So I'll see you later then?"

"Yeah, see you later." Lynn went back to stocking the shelves.

Chapter Four

ON WEDNESDAY MORNING, Miranda entered the fitness center through the floor to ceiling glass doors. Without any passengers, the deserted rows of exercise machines stood at attention like a platoon of tin soldiers. Miranda knew that once the cruise got underway, they would come to life again, their sturdy motors humming incessantly like a hive of busy bees. Seeing no signs of life in the gym, she slowly approached the reception counter and waited in front of it, hoping to be noticed by someone. To pass the time, she picked up one of the pamphlets displayed on top of the counter and browsed through it.

"Can I help you?" a voice said from behind her.

Miranda's body tensed, involuntarily. I know that voice. Turning around, she instantly recognized the woman standing in front of her. "It's you," she breathed.

"Excuse me?" The woman looked momentarily confused but it didn't take long before her attractive face softened and she smiled broadly. "Hey, I remember you. I saw you on the pier. How nice to see you again."

"Jamie, right?"

"I'm pleased you remembered my name. It's Jamie Jeffries to be exact. I'm the head fitness trainer. I'm sorry, but I don't remember your name."

Without warning, Miranda's heart galloped at an alarming speed within the confines of her chest and although she tried to focus on Jamie's bright blue eyes, her own eyes wandered off without permission, traveling unescorted over the incredible landscape of Jamie's body. Michelangelo himself might have chiseled every one of her toned muscles from the finest Italian marble. Her eyes lingered on Jamie's firm thighs a bit longer than politeness allowed before skimming over a set of defined abdominal muscles. Good God. This has to be the same woman Lynn told me about. Does she have

an ounce of body fat anywhere besides in those lovely breasts? Miranda sucked in a deep breath. Breasts? Good Lord, don't let her catch you looking at her breasts.

Jamie simply stared and waited. "Are you all right?"

"Uh...sure, of course. Forgive me." Miranda cleared her throat and managed to produce a casual smile. "I'm Miranda Ross, the ship's doctor." She offered her hand, praying it wouldn't be clammy or tremulous when Jamie grasped it in her own.

"Doctor, huh? Well, well, well, Doctor. Remind me to get sick sometime," Jamie said, returning Miranda's smile.

"I sincerely hope you don't." Miranda had to make a conscious effort to suppress an unexplainable and constant urge to smile. "But, if you do, I promise I'll be there for you. That's what I'm here for." That's all I'm here for.

"That sure is comforting to know." Jamie ran her fingers through her hair. "So, Doctor Ross, what can I do for you? Whatever it is, I assure you it would be my pleasure."

Jamie's suggestive tone caused Miranda to snap back into a more professional mode. "I simply came here as a matter of protocol, to introduce myself to the person who's in charge of the fitness center and to take a look at your emergency equipment." Miranda cringed inside. She knew Jamie's type only too well and she couldn't stand that kind of woman--a smooth-talking, narcissistic, superficial, flirt. Probably not too bright either. Of course, with those looks she didn't have any need for brains.

Jamie straightened her spine and puckered her brow. "Well, that would be me and you've introduced yourself, so I guess we should take a look at the equipment. We keep the defibrillator on the wall behind the reception desk, right over there." She pointed to where it hung, secured in its plastic case. "I'll be honest with you. It scares me to death to think about using that thing."

"It scares everyone, but that little machine can save a life if it's used in the first few minutes after someone's heart stops beating." Miranda cringed as she listened to herself, hating how pompous she sounded and how much she reminded herself of one of those trained sales reps from the company that sells the damned things. She knew her crisp white officer's uniform made her seem even more pompous and intimidating.

Jamie said nothing for a moment as if she were carefully weighing her next response. "Follow me. I'll show you the first aid kit. I keep it in my office." Jamie steered the doctor into her office, unlocked a large cabinet and hauled the heavy first aid kit out onto her desk.

Miranda opened the kit, took a few minutes to rifle through its contents and then closed it up again. "That's a well-stocked one."

Jamie put it back in the cabinet and re-locked the cabinet door. "Now, I'll show you our code cart. We keep it in a storage closet in the back of the main exercise room." Jamie started walking. "We have our own code cart because we're near the pools and the outdoor running track, but I'm sure you know that."

"Of course I do, and you also have one because the fitness center is a prime place for someone to have a sudden cardiac event," Miranda said from behind her.

Jamie quickened her pace and didn't stop until she reached the closet. Then she turned and faced Miranda. "One of your nurses came up here the day before yesterday to inspect our emergency equipment. He made sure they were stocked, too. He put a lock on the code cart. Do you want me to open it?"

"That was Guy Ellison and no, I don't need you to open it. I know what's in it." Miranda told herself to loosen up. "I'm not really here for that purpose. I just wanted to see what you have, introduce myself and check out your facility."

"Well, I'd say you've accomplished your mission, Doctor. Anything else I can do for you? Anything at all?"

"I wanted to set up some fitness training sessions for myself."

"Really? What are your goals?"

"Well, to feel good for one thing. I like the way I feel when I exercise." Her recent two week vacation had thrown her off her usual exercise schedule and she needed to get back to it. "More specifically, I want to work off some of the stress of my job, increase my energy level and keep my weight in check."

"Those are all good goals." Jamie backed up a foot or two and examined Miranda's body from head to toe, one eyebrow lifted slightly higher than the other. "You don't have any problem with your weight from where I'm standing."

Jamie's shameless inspection of her body made Miranda feel embarrassed. "No, I suppose I don't, but that's the whole idea isn't it, to keep it that way? You know how much food they dish out on these cruises. I try to watch what I eat, but it's hard."

"You really do have to. I tell the passengers to make a conscious choice between buff and buffet." Jamie chuckled. "Sorry, I read that somewhere and I seem to get a constant kick out of saying it for some reason."

"It's catchy all right. I've heard a lot of adages about eating on cruises, but I've never heard that one before." Miranda listened to Jamie talk, thinking about how her soothing voice covered her like a soft, warm blanket. "Can I use it on my patients when they come in the clinic complaining about feeling sick from overeating?"

"Go ahead, I don't own it. It does stick in your mind, doesn't it?"

"Let me ask you something. Are more people using the fitness facilities, on the cruise ships I mean?" It puzzled Miranda that she insisted on keeping this conversation going. It wasn't as if she had nothing to do and ordinarily, she'd have ended it long ago.

"Definitely. Cruise ships used to offer very little in the way of fitness. They might have had a couple of beaten-up exercise machines stuck off in a remote corner of the ship or a few free weights lying around on a cracked and worn mat, but nothing like what they have now. The newer ships offer fitness amenities equal to and often better than the finest land-based gyms. Exercise has become another form of recreation for a lot of people."

"You know, you're right. I never thought of it that way."

"This current fitness obsession has been a real boon for our industry."

"I've noticed the food's changing, too. They're offering healthier options on the ships these days and more spa style cuisine."

"Not everyone goes cruising to pig out." Jamie cleared her throat. "They even have fitness cruises these days"

"I read about them. The new spa restaurant on this ship is really good. I went there with the nurses last evening for dinner. Have you tried it?"

"It's my favorite place to eat on the ship." Jamie paused for a moment, then said, "You said one of your goals was to work off stress. Do you find your job stressful? I thought it might be easier than a regular doctor's job, more like a vacation."

"That's what everyone thinks," Miranda explained. "In some ways it's easier, I guess, but on a ship with only one doctor, I'm always on duty and always on call unless I leave the ship and then when I come back, I never know what's waiting for me. Wherever I go, my uniform and the bar pattern on these shoulder epaulettes lets everyone know I'm the ship's doctor. I carry a phone, a pager and a walkie-talkie and I can't hide from the fact that someone might need me at any time. Sometimes I feel like the whole world needs me and it can be quite draining."

"I see what you mean. You're never really free, are you?"

"No, not totally. I can't ever let my guard down. Don't get me wrong, I do have free time, as long as nothing happens. It's just that there's always a chance something bad is going to happen any minute and it hangs over me like a bad omen and wears on me. I think most of the stress I feel is a result of being mentally tied to the job every minute of every day."

"That's tough. There's not much you can do about that, but can you at least get off the ship once in a while so you don't go totally insane?"

"I'm allowed to go ashore just like everyone else. The nurses always take first call and I got lucky on this ship, because I have a nurse practitioner. She's perfectly capable of running the clinic alone and she can cover for me if I want to leave the ship. I have to go somewhere different once in a while or I start to get stir crazy."

"I know the feeling--it's like cabin fever. If I didn't go ashore once in a while, I'd start to feel like my entire life was taking place in this fitness center. At least I work on the top deck surrounded by windows and I can see the outside. I swear I'd go nuts if I worked in the engine room or anywhere deep in the interior of the ship."

"Like the infirmary. It's too closed in for me."

"That answers the question about stress. Coming up here and exercising will definitely help with that. You'll probably find you sleep better, too."

"I've never had a problem sleeping. All my years of medical training conditioned me to sleep anytime and almost anywhere."

"At least that's one problem you don't have." Again, Jamie paused for a moment before she continued. "Why don't you let me be your personal trainer? I'm usually pretty booked up, but I'd love to work with you and I'm sure we can find the time somehow." She waited for Miranda to answer.

"Why not?" Miranda agreed at last. "But, if you're too busy to train me yourself, it doesn't have to be you. I don't really care who does it--anyone will do." Keep this strictly professional. Don't let her think you want to train with her.

"I'm not too busy and I'd like to work with you." She looked Miranda up and down once again. "It won't be hard keeping you in shape, honey. It makes my job a lot easier when I get to start with a nice body like yours. You're practically there already."

Honey? Nice body? Christ, she really is smooth. "Thanks, I guess," Miranda said, barely able to hide the anger that had started to pick and scratch beneath her surface. If Jamie Jeffries was a lesbian like Miranda suspected, she'd probably slept with half the lesbian employees by now and God knows how many of the passengers. From the looks of her she could have her pick. She pictured a flock of women hovering around Jamie like hungry buzzards circling their next meal and it made her smile to herself. Miranda wasn't into hovering. So far, she'd managed to avoid casual sex and shipboard romances and she intended to keep it that way. More to the point, she didn't trust women like Jamie Jeffries. Not anymore. "I work out because it makes me feel energized and exhilarated and it helps me to stay in shape. The physical benefits are certainly a plus but they're just icing on the cake as far as I'm concerned."

"Your cake is beautifully iced," Jamie remarked. "That state of euphoria comes from the release of endorphins, but since you're a doctor, you already know that, don't you?"

Miranda simply nodded. "I'd better get going."

"Wait. Don't run off quite yet. I'll need to do a total body assessment so I can plan the best exercise program to meet your individual needs. Do you think you can come in sometime soon so I can do that?"

"Yes, but I don't know when, yet. I have to wait until things settle down. Hopefully, I can come back in a couple of days if I'm not too busy."

"Sure. Whenever you're ready, come in and we'll schedule it. Or you can call me."

"I guess I'll see you later, then." Miranda spun around on her heels, ending any further discussion on the matter, but two steps later, she turned around again. Jamie's words had just registered in her brain and the prospect of Ms. Perfect assessing her body didn't seem like her idea of a good time. No doubt she'd find nothing but flaws. "Wait just a minute, what kind of body assessment?"

"My clients often have reservations about that part of the process, but it's nothing bad I assure you. We'll get body measurements, your height and weight and a quick estimate of your body fat percentage. I'm already thinking that, in your case, we'll be focusing mainly on firming and aerobic conditioning, right?"

"That sounds right, but do we have to do all that?" Body fat percentage? Great. It looked like Ms. Jamie Jeffries had just enough body fat hiding under that skin of hers to keep her from freezing to death in the winter and it had better not be that cold, either.

"It'll help me find out the areas that need special attention. It'll also give us a baseline so we can evaluate your progress. We won't know if you lose weight or inches unless we compare measurements. You'll feel a difference in your body, of course, but wouldn't it be nice to see it on paper, in black and white?"

"I suppose," Miranda agreed, not convinced that she needed to see anything like that in black and white, especially her actual dimensions.

"I'll also assess you on the weight machines so I can determine how much weight you should use and how many reps you should do to build muscle mass. Everything will be strictly confidential. Think of me as your fitness doctor."

Fitness doctor. That's a good one. Evidently, I'm not the only one on board with a bedside manner. From the looks of it, Jamie had mastered the art of gentle persuasion and knew how to smooth ruffled feathers and gain the confidence of her clients. She was slick, all right, but she also made a lot of sense. Miranda couldn't take the best care of her patients without doing a history and physical health assessment, so she knew the value of obtaining baseline information. "Okay, if you feel it's necessary. I'm in your hands."

"I promise I'll make it as painless as possible."

"I have used the weight machines before, you know."

"I'm sure you have, but has anyone ever showed you how to use them properly?"

"No, I just read the directions on the machines."

"Well then, indulge me, will you? I want to make sure you're using them safely and effectively. You don't need to waste your time and you don't need to get injured."

"I suppose you're right. I never had a personal trainer."

"Well, it's time you did. I can help you with diet too, if you have any questions. I'm a certified nutrition counselor." Quickly, she added, "I realize you're a doctor, but some doctors aren't all that interested in nutrition and they don't know how to tie it into a fitness program."

"I'm afraid you're right, in my case. I'm an emergency room doctor, so I don't have to pay that much attention to nutrition in most of the patients I treat. I wouldn't claim to be an expert on the subject, either. It wasn't one of my favorites."

"It bores most people to tears but I enjoyed it when I took it in college."

"You went to college for this?" Miranda blurted out. As if the actual question hadn't been bad enough, she realized she'd let too much surprise register in her voice. Her face began to burn. "I didn't mean that to sound the way it probably did. I have no idea what kind of education is required in your field."

Jamie laughed. Tapping her head and her chest in that order, she said, "I'm sure someone like you would automatically think I don't have much upstairs or inside here. I'm all too familiar with the stereotype. We're all a bunch of self-centered bubble heads, obsessed with our bodies and only concerned with how we look. Does that about cover it? I didn't leave anything out, did I?"

Miranda's face burned even hotter. "I never thought that about you, honestly."

"Sure you did, but don't feel bad. You're not the first one to make that mistake. A lot of fitness trainers are like that and not all of them go to college, either. As for me, I have a bachelor's degree in exercise science and a master's degree in exercise physiology. And, just for the record, I'm also certified by the American Council on Exercise, the National Endurance and Strength Association and the International Sports Science Association."

"And I'm obviously a certified idiot." Miranda squirmed, searching for a way out of the deep hole she'd dug for herself. "I'm so sorry. I know nothing about your field and I didn't mean to imply that--I mean I had no right to assume--what I mean to say is, I see you're not..." She'd put her foot in her mouth and now she was in danger of losing her entire leg.

Jamie held the palm of her hand up. "Please. Say no more. I wouldn't want you to blow a fuse or anything. I'm used to people making those assumptions about me. It usually doesn't bother me."

"Listen," Miranda said, relieved to be let off the hook so easily even though she didn't deserve to be. "Once you set me up with an exercise program, I can come in anytime and work out by myself, right? You know my schedule is unpredictable and I won't have a lot of time to work with you."

"You don't have to work with me if you don't want to. I'll write up your workout routine in a journal so you can do it on your own. Once in a while, I'll check on you or work out with you to see how you're progressing, but I won't hover over you or pester you, if that's what you're worried about."

"I'm not worried about a thing." Miranda heard defensiveness in her voice fueled by a growing impatience. She glanced at her watch. "I've been here way too long. I have to get back to the clinic." She turned to leave and as before, she turned around after having taken only a few steps. "I forgot to ask. Do you get a fee for your services?"

"From the passengers, yes, but not from you, Doctor. For you, it's on the house."

Miranda swallowed hard while Jamie's warm smile melted her frozen insides. She drew in a slow steadying breath and managed to utter a quick thank you. Jamie's unwavering gaze cut into her as if Jamie's eyes were lasers and the beams had penetrated the deepest parts of her, threatening to split her defenses wide open. "I get a commission for treating passengers, but not for taking care of the staff, so I can't repay you in that way. Maybe I can pay you back some other way."

"Maybe you can, Doctor." Jamie grinned. "Maybe you can."

"Well, I've really got to go now." Miranda took one step backward.

"So do I. I've got some work to do and later I have a dinner date." Jamie took one step closer to Miranda, still grinning.

I'll bet you do. "Don't let me keep you." Miranda took one more step backward. No doubt, Jamie had an endless supply of dates and sexual partners standing in a long line waiting for a chance to spend some time with her. She probably only had one problem and that was finding enough days in the week to squeeze them all in. Miranda would never stand in line for any woman, especially some self-centered fitness type.

"Hope I see you soon. Have a good evening, sweetie." Jamie took two steps forward and closed the gap Miranda had created between them. She opened her arms as if inviting Miranda in for a hug.

Sweetie? Good grief. Does she hug everyone? Not knowing what else to do, Miranda grasped Jamie's shoulders with her hands and leaned in awkwardly, giving her an embrace so brief it was over before any parts of their bodies actually touched, other than their cheeks and arms. Slightly breathless and more than slightly annoyed, Miranda broke away, turned and left without another word or so much as a backward glance.

Chapter Five

"BUST, 36 INCHES," Jamie said as she faced away from Miranda and bent over her desk to record the measurements she'd obtained in a notebook. "I'm glad you finally got in here so we could get your fitness assessment done." A few days had passed since the doctor's first visit to the fitness center and Jamie had begun to wonder if she would ever return. When Miranda called earlier that morning to see if Jamie could fit her in, Jamie was quite surprised. The doctor had seemed reluctant to go through with the assessment process and painfully uncomfortable with everything in general. Jamie fully expected not to see her any time soon, if at all.

Miranda looked at the art work hanging on the walls while she waited for Jamie to finish. "I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner. The first couple of days after a new cruise starts are always so hectic and I'm new to the ship and we had to do all those emergency and safety drills with the passengers and well...you know how it is."

"I do. It's pretty hectic in here too. We get bombarded the first two days."

"So do we. A lot of passengers come to the clinic because they forgot to pack their medication or because they want to let us know they have a medical condition or something along those lines."

For a moment, Jamie remained bent over her desk. She held perfectly still and closed her eyes as she tried to regain her composure and tame her trembling hands. She'd performed hundreds of fitness assessments, and yet, while doing Miranda's, she'd found herself acutely aware of the placement of her fingers and hands. That was something that had never happened to her before. She'd had to make a conscious effort not to brush against Miranda's soft breasts or let her fingers graze the hardened nipples visible through her sports bra. Although she'd somehow managed not to do either of those things, she was now left with the size, shape and softness of those lovely breasts imprinted on her mind forever.

"I'm not going to be able to stay here too much longer. I have to be back for afternoon clinic hours." Miranda said.

Jamie made a few more quick entries in her notebook and turned to face Miranda. She leaned back against the desk. Her heart skipped a beat when she met the doctor's intense dark eyes. She'd rarely experienced such a strong, physical reaction to anyone in her life and certainly not this soon after meeting them. "Now, how are you holding up?"

"Are we just about done with this?" Miranda asked, the tension vibrating in her tight voice. "I find this a little uncomfortable. No, make that a lot uncomfortable if you want to know the truth. Can't we just set my program up and get started?"

"We're almost done." Jamie heard the edge in Miranda's tone and tried to make her feel better. "I'm sorry this is making you uncomfortable." She should have known Miranda wouldn't like to be touched and given the once over based on how she had reacted to their casual hug the other day.

"I guess I'm not used to being scrutinized. I feel like a specimen under the microscope and I can't help but wonder what you think of me...from a fitness standpoint, that is."

"Most people have a hard time with this and I'm not thinking anything about you." Except that you're stunning and you make my knees weak. "I just want to set up the best fitness program for you. We don't have to do these measurements often, or ever again if you feel that strongly about it."

"That's a relief." Miranda let out a quivery little laugh.

"Tell you what. Let's skip the fat analysis. It isn't that accurate or all that important in your case. I think I already know what kind of exercise program we need to set up for you, so why don't we get on with it?"

"That would be great. Thanks," Miranda said. "I was thinking that maybe this isn't even worth doing. I won't be on the ship that long."

"It'll be worth it. I'll give you a copy of everything and you can use the program when you get back home. When is your contract up?" Jamie hoped it wasn't any time soon.

"As soon as these two cruises are over, when we reach Barcelona. My sister's meeting me there and after we tour Spain together, I'll be going home with her."

"But you just got here." Jamie's heart fell to her knees.

"I know, but I'm just filling in, temporarily, as a special favor."

"I didn't know that and I'm sorry to hear it. I thought you'd be staying on board with us for a long time." Jamie attempted to mask her disappointment by moving on to another topic but she still felt the sting of Miranda's announcement. She wondered why she even cared how long the doctor would be on the ship. "It's a shame you haven't had any time to work out yet."

"I know, but I think I can get back on track after today. Besides the beginning of the cruise craziness, we had some problems we had to deal with in the clinic."

"Like what?"

"You're actually interested?"

"Yeah, I'm interested." I'm interested in anything about you.

"For one thing, the cruise had no sooner gotten started when we had a mini-outbreak of a sexually transmitted disease among some of the crew members. Now, we'll have to set up classes and give out condoms."

"I hear there's a lot of sexual activity among the staff. Is that true?"

"Yes, way too much," Miranda answered. "I'm sure you already know that."

"Actually, I do and I'm not that shocked. Will they use the condoms?"

"That's the problem. It's not easy dealing with so many different cultures and religions. They refuse to use them for some very bizarre reasons."

"I'll bet," Jamie said, scrunching up her face as if imagining the possibilities. "Spare me the details. I think I can imagine some of them."

"Yeah, enough about that." Miranda mirrored Jamie's face. "I can't believe I even brought it up. So, tell me, how did I do on my assessment?"

"You're in better shape than most people. You'd benefit from strength training and I think you need more aerobics, just like I had predicted. That's all I'd recommend."

"I guess I can do that. As I said, I've never consulted a trainer before."

"Then why did you agree to one now?" Jamie asked as if reading her mind. She assumed Miranda was thinking why in hell had she consulted one this time?

"I haven't the slightest idea," Miranda answered. She waited through an awkward silence and then she continued talking. "I used to go to the gym regularly and work out at home, before I took this job."

Jamie used her arms to hoist herself up onto the edge of her desk and pointed to the chair next to her. She wanted to talk to Miranda and spend time with her. "Have a seat." After Miranda complied, Jamie asked, "Where did you live back in the real world."

"I used to live in North Carolina, but then I moved to Washington, DC to be closer to my sister. In fact, I was staying with her until I could find a place of my own, but before I could even find one I started working on the cruise ships. Just before I came on this ship, I took a break and flew home to look at a house and to make a long story short, I bought it. When I get back, I'll be making settlement and moving in. "What about you? Where are you from?"

"I lived in Baltimore. I put that in the past tense because I don't really live anywhere right now. After my last girlfriend and I split, I put all my stuff in storage and stayed with a friend until I took this job. My girlfriend called our break-up a trial separation, but I knew it was over. In retrospect, I'm not sure why we were even together. I wasn't really in love with her. Never had been." Jamie shrugged. "I guess I'll go back to Baltimore to settle my affairs, but I don't know if I want to stay there."

"What made you decide to work on the ships?" Miranda asked.

"One day, I went to visit an old college friend who also happens to be the owner of Maiden Voyages and she thought working on the ships would be a good opportunity for me and that's how I ended up here."

Miranda moved to the edge of the chair and sat up straighter. "You know the owner of Maiden Voyages? That's amazing. My sister is good friends with Eve."

"I'm not Eve Kincaid's friend. Well, that's not true because I guess I am now, but it was Gina, her lover who was my best friend in college. They both own Maiden Voyages. I never saw them that much after I moved to Baltimore. We were all so busy."

"What a small world."

"Do you know them?" Jamie asked.

"I know of them, but I've never met either one. I just talked to Eve on the phone after my sister came up with the shocking notion that I should work on the cruise ships. Eve convinced me it would do me good and I liked the pay and the perks."

"Do you good? In what way?"

"Uh, let's just say I needed to get away for a while." Miranda immediately changed the subject. "How long do you plan on doing this?"

Jamie went along with Miranda's abrupt attempt to divert her attention away from the question Jamie had just asked her. That was all she was going to get in the way of an explanation and she knew it. "After we dock in Barcelona, I'll have another three months to go. In a way, I'm kind of anxious to be finished with this. I've enjoyed it but I want to get on with my life."

Miranda nodded. "I feel the same way. What are you planning on doing after you get back to the real world?"

"My dream is to open my own fitness center."

"That takes a lot of money, doesn't it?"

"I know, but like I said, it's a dream and I like to dream big. My aunt left me some money and I'm saving almost everything I earn here. I'll still have to borrow a lot, but I think I can swing it."

"I hope your dreams come true. We should all have dreams." Miranda smiled. "Where would you open this fitness center?"

"I don't know. Right now I don't live anywhere so I guess I could go wherever I wanted. I've got friends scattered here and there and options galore. It needs to be a place with a fairly young population, the kind of people who make a lot of money in sedentary jobs and need someone like me to guide them along the path to health and a buff body." Jamie laughed softly. "If I'm good enough and people like working with me, I'll be able to charge a substantial fee for my services someday."

"Who wouldn't like working with you?"

"Thanks. I hope you're right. Otherwise I'll be sunk."

"I can't imagine why someone like you wouldn't succeed. You look like you're all about success to me," Miranda said. "Where did you go to college?"

"I went to George Washington University. That's where I met Gina. I lived in Washington, DC for over six years and sometimes I wish I'd never left. It's a great city, isn't it?"

"I don't really know. I only lived there for a few months before I started doing this."

"Well, I hope you like it when you get to know it better. It's quite a coincidence--us being from the same place almost."

"We could have been from anywhere in the world." Miranda shifted in her seat and crossed her legs. "I'm impressed that you went to George Washington University. I didn't know a place like that had programs in your field."

"I hope they did, because I took them." Jamie gave her a curious look. Why would Miranda say a thing like that? Just when they seemed to be getting along, she had to say something thoughtless. "I enjoyed the years I spent there. How about you? Where did you go to med school?"

"Duke University, in Durham, North Carolina."

"Wow. Now I'm impressed."

"Well, don't be. Obviously, we're both intelligent women."

"Thank you for including me in the same category as yourself." Jamie's comment was tinged with a speck of sarcasm. She knew that, but she couldn't help herself. It was high time Miranda acknowledged the fact that she might have a few brain cells in her head and maybe a synapse or two now and then. For the second time, she ignored the remark and moved on. "Where did you live before you moved to DC?"

"Right there in Raleigh." Miranda scowled and shook her head. She didn't say anything more after that.

"What's the matter? You left for a minute there."

"Nothing, I'm fine. I was just thinking. Uh...so, what do you think about me, in terms of fitness, I mean?" Miranda asked. "I'm sorry, you already told me didn't you?"

For the second time, Jamie looked at her strangely, but then she smiled. "I did, but I don't think I told you how good you look and I don't have to measure you to know that. You've got a nice body and your weight is fine for your height."

"You're lucky." After a short period of silence, Jamie said, "Here's what I recommend for you--thirty to forty minutes of aerobics four or five times a week and strength training three times a week, no more than four. I don't want you to weight train any two days in a row. Your muscles need to rest between workouts."

"That sounds fine, but I can't always be consistent due to my work."

"Do the best you can. Now, let's go see how you do on the machines."

AFTERWARD, JAMIE LED Miranda back into her office. "You did well," Jamie remarked as she handed Miranda her workout journal. "Here's your routine, the amount of weight you should use, the reps and all the rest of it. You should be able to handle it, but let me know if you have trouble."

"I will." Miranda took the journal and studied it.

"One last word of advice before you go. Don't do the same exercise routine all the time. It gets boring real fast and boring does not spell success. Do something different once in a while, like running on the outdoor track, or swimming in the staff pool. I go to the pool at least twice a week."

Miranda heard only half of Jamie's advice because as soon as Jamie mentioned going to the pool, an image of her body clad only in a bathing suit seized control of Miranda's mind. Her physical reaction shocked her into getting a grip on herself before she sent out the wrong signals to a woman she had no intention of becoming involved with. She hadn't failed to notice how flirtatious Jamie had been during the assessment, but she tried not to take it seriously. Jamie probably flirted casually with everyone and Miranda was certain it meant nothing. She really was hot and she was definitely sexy. Anyone who lived and breathed would think so. Miranda's heart raced even more when she remembered how Jamie's well-proportioned and extremely firm butt had looked when she'd bent over her desk to write in her notebook.

She had also noticed the subtle way in which Jamie had revealed her sexuality even though she was proud that she'd refrained from asking any questions about Jamie's ex. And she was also proud that she'd had the presence of mind to divert Jamie's attention before she asked any more questions about her past.

If Jamie wanted to know about her sexual orientation she'd have to ask and if she wanted to make assumptions, let her. Miranda wasn't about to out herself at this point. Why invite trouble? As long as things remained casual between her and Jamie and she maintained the proper distance what harm could come from engaging in a little small talk? Small talk was Jamie's specialty, no doubt.

Miranda had enjoyed talking with Jamie even though Jamie had a way of making her reveal more than she wanted to and share far too much. She would have to be more careful in the future. She had to keep this impersonal.

She thought about Ellen, how strong her attraction to Ellen had been the very first time they'd met and how hard she'd fallen for her. If only she'd known then where it would lead she might have been more cautious. Somewhere off in the distance she heard Jamie's voice again.

"...classes in Pilates, yoga, aerobics and kickboxing."

Miranda stopped Jamie with her hand. "Don't bother to go over all of that. I don't like group classes and besides, I have to fit my workouts in whenever I can find the time." Without so much as another word, she left Jamie's office and went back into the gym.

Jamie hurried behind her. "No problem. We're open from six am until midnight. I'll be around and if you don't see me, ask someone to find me." Jamie caught up to Miranda and grabbed her arm. "See that cute redhead right over there?" Jamie pointed to Alicia and waved to her. Alicia smiled and waved back.

"I see her." Miranda gave Alicia a feeble wave.

"She can always find me. We share a cabin."

"I need to get going." Miranda glanced at her arm where Jamie held onto her.

Jamie did not let go. "Do you have to run off so soon?"

"I have work to do. Thanks for everything. I guess I'll see you around."

"I hope so." Still gripping Miranda's arm tightly, Jamie wrapped her other arm around Miranda's shoulder and pulled her into a hug. "See you around, sweetie. Don't be a stranger."

Miranda jumped back the instant Jamie released her. "Do you have to hug me every time you see me?" The words rushed out of her mouth before she could stop them and she was both surprised and embarrassed by what she'd said. One look at Jamie made her feel even worse. How could she have behaved in such a ridiculous manner? What had come over her? Why did it bother her so much when Jamie hugged her? People hugged each other all the time, didn't they? She didn't know the answer to any of those questions. In fact, she only knew one thing. Everything about Jamie Jeffries bothered her. Everything.

"God, I'm sorry. Does it bother you?"

"I wouldn't have said anything if it didn't." Now she sounded ridiculous and mean and to make matters worse, she'd failed to stop digging a deeper hole for herself while she had the chance. "I'm affectionate, honestly I am, it's just that..."

"Don't explain. I can see I keep upsetting you and believe me, it's the last thing I want to do. We do a lot of hugging in our business and I guess I sometimes forget that it's not for everyone. Please forgive me if I seemed insensitive. I won't hug you anymore." Jamie blinked her wet eyes. "I promise."

Look at her. She was just being nice and now I've hurt her feelings. What have I become? "I guess I'm not like most people," Miranda offered, a pathetic response at best, considering the circumstances. Instead of feeling relieved by Jamie's promise, she felt hurt and oddly disappointed. Now she probably thinks I'm a frigid bitch who can't stand to be touched. Maybe I am. "Like I said before, I have work to do." Not knowing what else to say, she turned and started to walk away.

"Wait, please," Jamie called out, forcing Miranda to turn and face her. "There's a staff party tonight. Would you go with me? I'll buy you a drink and we can talk and get to know each other better. What do you say?"

Without missing a beat, Miranda said, "I can't. I have too much work to do and I have to catch up on my reading. You have a good time." I can't possibly get to know you better. No, no, no. No way. This time, she kept on walking.

Chapter Six

JAMIE GLANCED UP from her desk and caught sight of Miranda the minute she entered the gym. As far as she knew, the doctor hadn't been back since her fitness assessment. She wanted to jump up and go out to greet her, but she didn't. Evidently, Miranda wanted to be left alone, or maybe she just wanted Jamie to leave her alone. At any rate, it boiled down to the same thing.

Twenty minutes later, no longer able to fight the urge, Jamie stood up, went over to the doorway of her office and watched Miranda as she ran on the treadmill. Just as she was about to return to her desk, she spotted Alicia and gestured for her to come over.

"Hey Alicia, what are you doing?"

"Nothing right now. I just finished a session with a client."

"Look who's here." Jamie pointed with her head and eyes in Miranda's direction.

"Ah, the pretty doctor herself. She was in here yesterday too."

"She was? I must have missed her." Damn it. Where was I?

"You weren't here. I think you were at lunch."

"Did she ask for me?"

"Not that I know of." Alicia glanced at Jamie out of the corner of her eye and smiled. "Uh-oh, is someone interested in the doctor? Damn she's pretty, even sweaty and all."

"She sure is," Jamie confirmed. "Cute little outfit she's wearing, don't you think? Have you seen her in her officer's uniform?"

"No, I can't say that I have. Sexy, huh?"

"God, you don't know the half of it. She wore it the first time she came here to talk to me and I couldn't tear my eyes away. She has to wear a skirt, you know, and she has great legs. She looked like she just graduated from the naval academy."

"The ship's doctor is a high ranking naval officer, Jamie."

"I know that. You know what else I like? Her dark, almost black eyes and that pale flawless skin. She reminds me of a fine porcelain figurine."

"I'm sure she looked stunning, but..." Alicia looked at her with concern.

"But what?" It wasn't Alicia's nature to discourage someone from admiring a sexy woman. "What's on your mind?"

"Well, for starters, she seems cold and intimidating. I don't know, I guess she just rubs me the wrong way or something." Alicia frowned and then added, "I suppose she does have a certain air of mystique about her if you like that kind of thing."

"That makes her more attractive, don't you think?"

"I don't know. I think it makes her kind of scary."

"I know she seems cold and intimidating, just like you said, Alicia, but--and I can't explain this--but I can't believe she's really like that. I think she's really a nice person inside even though she's given me every reason to think otherwise. I think she's just protecting herself. Anyway, it doesn't matter how I feel about her. She's way out of my league."

"What did she do to you?" Alicia put her hands on her hips and frowned.

"Nothing, really." Nothing I didn't cause myself. "She made some condescending remarks that stung a bit. I think she was surprised to learn that I had an education and anything in the way of smarts. She acts superior, but I think it's because she's guarded and reserved. Don't forget, she's the ship's doctor. Maybe she can't afford to be too friendly. She might have to take care of us at any time."

"I suppose you're right, when you put it that way."

"I think I got too chummy when I did her fitness assessment. I hugged her before she left, like we always do, and she made it clear she didn't like it. I can't blame her for that. I should have been more sensitive."

"You didn't mean any harm. What's wrong with hugging her?"

"Uh, nothing. I guess she just can't handle being touched. I should have known better and kept my distance. I'm her fitness trainer. That's a professional relationship."

"In a way, but it's not like you're her psychotherapist or minister or something like that and you're violating some sacred trust. You're her fitness trainer."

"Still..."

"Still, nothing. Is that why you're standing here talking to me instead of going over there and talking to her?" Alicia poked Jamie in the ribs. "I know you want to."

Jamie shook her off. Alicia had an annoying gift for getting down to the bottom line. "I don't want her to think I'm going to bother her every time she comes to the gym. She's under a lot of pressure and she has a right to work out in peace. From what she told me, being the ship's doctor isn't easy."

"Jamie, you don't need to justify her behavior or make excuses for her. Basically, I can't imagine being any kind of doctor. It's got to be a pain in the ass dealing with sick, complaining people all the time. It would never interest me and I think it's gross. All that blood and vomit and stuff and people's dirty feet and all."

Jamie laughed out loud. "For heaven's sake. I suppose you could never be a nurse, either." Grabbing Alicia's arm, she playfully pushed her to the side.

"No way in hell--that's even worse." Alicia grimaced and groaned.

"I'm sure it can't be all that bad, although it takes a special person. Doctor Ross must be very bright and dedicated."

"I'm sure she is, but I wonder how she relates to her patients?"

"Who knows? Your guess would be as good as mine. She told me she used to work in the emergency room. That must have been exciting."

"Too exciting if you ask me. Why all the interest in the doctor, anyway?"

"I don't know. She fascinates me." Jamie pointed a finger at Alicia, lowered her voice and said, "I swear, if you say anything to anyone about this..."

Alicia held up her right hand as if taking an oath. "Relax. I won't, I swear."

"I find her very attractive." Jamie admitted, as much to herself as to her friend, leaving out the added admission that she'd never been this interested in anyone. Seeing the look of astonishment on Alicia's face, she added, "I can't help it, I just do."

"No kidding? Are you for real? You could have anyone, so why do you want her of all people?"

"I didn't exactly say I wanted her," Jamie clarified.

"There's a difference?" Alicia's eyebrows lifted and her eyes got big.

"There certainly is. I just want to get to know her better, talk to her more."

"Uh, huh..."

"Well, I do, but it doesn't matter anyway. Trust me, she couldn't care less about me and she couldn't be less interested. I guarantee you, nothing will ever happen between us." Jamie forced a long breath out between tight lips and folded her arms across her chest. "Ironic, isn't it?"

"You're not kidding. Forgive me for saying this, but that's got to be a new experience for you. Maybe that's why you find her so attractive, you know, because she's indifferent and so hard to get. Maybe you see it as a challenge?"

"Aren't you the perceptive one? I hate to think that's true, but you may be right. We humans always seem to want what we can't have, don't we?"

"Yeah, and we feel so special if we end up getting it." Alicia looked at Jamie intently. "Let me ask you something. Do you even know if she's a lesbian? It's not that obvious in her case and just because she's on these lesbian cruises doesn't mean that she is. I've made that mistake once or twice." Alicia rolled her eyes.

"I hope she is, but no, I don't know for sure. I'm pretty sure of one thing, though. I don't think she's involved with anyone." I guess she intends to keep it that way.

"Yeah, that's...oops, I gotta run, Jamie. I just saw my next client coming through the door. Why don't you go say hello to your client? It's not like you to be shy. Just don't touch her." Alicia winked.

"Don't you worry. I think I've learned my lesson." Jamie clasped one of her hands in the other and held them in front of her. "I'll keep my hands to myself."

"See that you do. Catch you later."

After Alicia took off, Jamie watched Miranda jog at a leisurely pace for a minute or two, until she saw her adjust the treadmill to a walking speed. Maybe Alicia was right, Jamie thought. What harm would it do to go over and say hello?

Miranda reached the end of her cool down period just as Jamie came up beside the treadmill. After acknowledging Jamie's presence with a nod and a subdued smile, she stepped off the treadmill and removed a pair of tiny gel headphones from her ears.

"Hi, how's it going?" Jamie asked.

"Hi, Jamie." Miranda tucked the headphones into her pocket and wiped her face with a hand towel. The neck of her sleeveless tee shirt was wet with a ring of sweat.

"I'm glad you've found some time to work out." A sudden and wholly unexpected desire to press her lips to the velvety sheen of moisture on Miranda's neck and then to kiss the hollow beneath her ear, almost buckled Jamie's knees. With a dry mouth, she asked, "Has your work load settled down any?"

"Walk with me." Miranda led Jamie away from the treadmills where they could talk in private. "It's not as busy as it was at first. Either things have slowed down or I'm getting used to being here--or maybe both." Miranda shrugged her shoulders. "The passengers have been coming to the clinic with the usual stuff, but we've had some interesting things happen with the staff."

"What things, if it's all right for me to ask?"

Miranda nodded. "Last night, two of the crew members from the engine room got into a fight. Basically, they were behaving like drunken fools. I thought one of them had a broken nose, but he didn't and then I thought the other one had fractured his hand when he hit the wall, but he lucked out, too. It was just badly bruised."

"I guess God does watch out for drunks. What were they fighting about?"

"A woman. What else? Can you think of a better reason?" Miranda smiled, faintly, and shook her head. "I hope she was worth it because the Chief engineer said they'll probably lose their jobs. They ought to increase the price of drinks at the staff bar. Serving drinks that cheap just encourages the staff to drink more than they should."

"Hey, I like those prices." Jamie grinned.

Miranda laughed. "I know, but why do they have to get so drunk? I guess I just get tired of dealing with the aftermath of drugs, drinking and drama."

"I'm sure you do. You said you get drama too. What kind of drama?" Jamie asked.

"Well, take the day before yesterday, for example. One of the cabin maids accused her boyfriend of raping her--he's a cabin steward. Just as she was about to press charges, they made up and she dropped the whole thing. That same night, one of the waitresses came in with rug burns on her knees. She claimed one of the officers pushed her when she refused to go to bed with him. I handed that one right over to the captain."

"That sounds like a soap opera."

"True enough, only it's a reality show." Miranda downed a few swigs from her water bottle. "The day before yesterday, one of the kitchen crew threatened to kill himself by jumping overboard. He had a history of depression, so we put him off the ship when we docked in Naples and sent him home for psychiatric treatment."

"No kidding? I guess I had no idea what was going on around me." It hardly mattered to Jamie what she and Miranda talked about. She would willingly discuss fungal diseases of the big toe if it would buy her a few more minutes with the elusive doctor. "And you know how to deal with all of those situations?"

"I'm afraid I do. It may sound crazy to you, but I'm used to it."

"Well, I don't know how you do it."

"I just do it. It's no different than working in any city emergency room, only this is a floating city and we have to do things a little differently sometimes."

"Did you go ashore in Naples?" Jamie asked.

Miranda shook her head. "I couldn't leave the ship. Did you get to go?"

"Alicia and I went on the excursion to Capri. I don't usually go on the organized tours because they tend to be a tourist rip-off, but it's hard to get to Capri. Once the formal tour was over, they gave us some time to explore on our own. It was wonderful."

"So I've heard. I wish I could have gone." Miranda pointed her finger in the general direction of the stationary bikes and said, "If you want to keep on talking to me, you'll have to follow me around. I did come here to do the exercise routine you gave me, you know."

"Sorry, of course you did." Jamie walked by Miranda's side as they made their way toward the reclining bicycles, relieved that Miranda was being friendly toward her. "How about Santorini and Rhodes.

Did you go ashore to see either of them?" Jamie asked.

"No, but I'm going to Kusadasi tomorrow, with Toni, the nurse practitioner I told you about. I think you met her when she came to do the defibrillator training sessions for your staff. We're taking a guided tour of the ancient ruins and after that, we thought we'd walk around and do some shopping."

"I wish I could go ashore. I wanted to see some of Turkey and Kusadasi's one of the most popular ports of call, but I have to work. Maybe I can see it on the next cruise. I got off in Rhodes, though and it was great. They have beautiful beaches but we decided to see the sites instead. I think lying on the beach is a waste of time."

"I agree. I'd much rather see the sites." Miranda got herself situated on one of the bicycles, adjusted the seat, draped her towel over the handle bar and pressed the buttons to start her program.

Jamie stood in front of the cycle and searched inside for the courage she needed to ask the next question. A question she knew she shouldn't ask. "Miranda, I have to get back to work. Are you supposed to sit with the captain or anyone special at dinner tonight? I thought maybe you and I could have dinner, wherever you want. I'd love to talk to you some more without all these distractions."

"I'm sorry, I can't tonight. I'm having dinner with the nurses."

Jamie absorbed Miranda's answer, a plain and simple one. Miranda offered nothing further in the way of an explanation. She expressed no words of regret, no desire to talk to Jamie and no alternative plans or future promises. Disappointed, yet not easily deterred, Jamie persisted in spite of a warning voice in the back of her mind. "Are you getting off the ship in Athens the day after tomorrow? I am. I can't wait to see the ancient ruins. I hear the guides are great and it's one of the best tours on the entire cruise."

"As a matter of fact, I am, and I'm also looking forward to it. That's one port of call I don't want to miss." Miranda's pace had reached a demanding level and she sounded out of breath as she spoke.

Jamie wanted to ask Miranda to spend the day with her in Athens but she hesitated long enough to review the possibilities in her mind. She had no reason to believe Miranda would accept her invitation and every reason to believe she'd turn her down, but in spite of that very rational conclusion, she opened her mouth and asked, "Are you going with anyone?"

"No. It's Guy's day off and he's going with his girlfriend."

"Would you like to go with me?" Jamie braced herself for the answer.

Miranda stopped peddling and stared at Jamie as if amazed by her doggedness. "Look, I'm not sure what you have in mind, but..."

"Wait just a minute, I don't have anything in mind, I just like you. Is that a crime? I'd like to spend some time with you and I'd rather not go alone. What's wrong with that?"

"Uh, nothing."

"You're a tough one, Miranda."

"No offense, Jamie, but there are plenty of lesbians on board and I'm sure they'd be tripping over each other trying to be the one who got to spend the day with you. And if you're looking for action, you'd better look somewhere else. Someone like you shouldn't have any problem finding enough of that."

Jamie stared in disbelief, stunned by the startling cruelty of Miranda's words. When she found her voice again, she said, "Wait...action? What's that supposed to mean? And what do you mean, someone like me? It was just a friendly invitation. I never suggested we do anything other than talk and get to know each other better."

"Honestly, you're wasting your time on me. I've been called honey and sweetie by the best of them and I think...no, I know I've made it clear that I'm not interested."

"You have made it abundantly clear." Jamie chewed on her bottom lip. "Apparently, I'm too stupid to get the message." She glanced around before she looked at Miranda again, her eyes cold and distant. "I'm sorry I bothered you, once again. I wanted to know you better and I thought we could be friends, but now I'm thinking you're not worth the trouble, so I give up, honey."

"I wish you would, honey," Miranda said. "Give up, I mean."

Jamie lifted both hands up in the air and pushed them toward Miranda in a dismissive gesture. "Who needs this?" she spouted, an instant before she spun around on her heels and hurried across the gym. Except for a brief stop to say something to one of the other trainers, she went directly to her office and closed the door behind her.

MIRANDA COVERED HER face with a towel and shut her eyes. Jamie's anger had hurt to some degree, but the flash of pain that had sliced through Jamie's blue eyes had inflicted the deepest wound. Miranda feared the nastiest, darkest recesses of herself had taken over and she'd become as prickly as a boiled wool sweater. Because she needed to believe it, she convinced herself that Jamie would soon forget her harsh words and move on to someone else. That shouldn't be a problem for someone so attractive and desirable.

As she got off the bicycle and gathered her things to leave, she reminded herself of the promises she'd made to herself after her breakup with Ellen. If she were to break them, it wouldn't be with someone she'd met on the cruise ships or with a woman who reminded her so much of Ellen. She'd never survive another woman like her.

Later, when she got back to DC, she'd have plenty of time to meet women and find a girlfriend, when and if she felt it was the right person and the right time. Now was definitely not the right time. She was a ship's officer and she had an image to protect. She absolutely refused to be one of the central characters in any gossip about the sexy fitness trainer and her shipboard exploits.

AN HOUR LATER, Jamie emerged from her office, calmer, but still smarting from the sting of Miranda's harsh rejection. She walked around the gym, stopping to chat with some of her clients but it did little to ease her pain. Any attempts she made to focus on something else proved futile. As she was about to retreat into her office again to wallow in her misery, she saw Alicia advancing toward her.

"What's up Jamie? You look pissed. Did you talk to the good doctor?"

"Unfortunately," Jamie spat. Miranda's words had left a bad taste in her mouth.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I asked her to have dinner with me and got turned down and then I asked her to go to Athens with me and got turned down again, and not gently either."

"That's too bad. I'm sorry. Maybe you should just give up on her."

"Maybe so. I feel like a fool. I don't even know if she's a lesbian. Maybe she's not. Maybe she's straight or just plain fucked up, I don't know, but I do know one thing. She doesn't like me. I wish I knew why."

"What did she say?"

"She accused me of looking for some action. Can you believe it? Action? The worst part is, I didn't even think I was coming on to her. I thought I was just being friendly."

"My guess would be she's nuts," Alicia said.

"Because if she's straight she's mean and if she's a lesbian she's crazy to turn you down."

"That's nice of you, but not everyone is enthralled with me, you know."

"Well...practically everyone is. That's not bad, is it?"

Jamie laughed a little, already feeling better. Touched by her friend's kindness, she wrapped her arm around Alicia's shoulders, leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. "Thanks for making me laugh. You're a good friend."

"It's the least I could do."

Jamie took her arm away, faced Alicia and looked her straight in the eyes. "Now read my lips and I mean this, so help me God. I have learned my lesson. I won't be talking to her or asking her to do anything ever again. If I am forced to talk to her, it will be as her trainer and it will be strictly professional. Better yet, maybe I'll just hand her over to another trainer so I don't have to deal with her at all."

"Now there's an even better idea."

"Yeah?" Jamie punched Alicia in the arm. "How about you? You want her?"

"Hell, no. She's too thorny for me--ouch."

Jamie winced. "I've been stuck so many times, it's a miracle I haven't sprung a leak."

Chapter Seven

MIRANDA SCARCELY BELIEVED she was standing on Athens soil, a city with an ancient and glorious history. Standing in a burgeoning crowd of passengers from the ship, she waited while the rest of them made their way to the pick up point to board the shuttle buses that would transport them to the Acropolis. Having nothing better to do, she idly searched the faces in the crowd to see if she recognized anyone, and when she spotted Jamie Jeffries, standing no more than thirty feet away, her heart fell at her feet. Close by Jamie's side, a cute young woman gazed up at her, adoringly, as they both participated in an animated conversation with two other women.

God, she's gorgeous. It didn't take her long to find someone else. The blond streaks in Jamie's hair shimmered in the Athens sun like golden threads spun by the gods, her hair color a perfect complement to her tanned skin. Without a doubt, no one who'd lived since the invention of denim had ever looked sexier in a pair of faded jeans. Miranda shuddered at such outrageous thoughts. She'd have to keep them to herself for she'd rather die than admit to another soul that her heart raced out of control and her stomach did somersaults whenever she looked at Jamie Jeffries. It didn't mean anything. After all, who wouldn't react the same way when faced with such a gorgeous creature? And, who in their right mind wouldn't have a little crush on her?

Positioning herself in a way that kept her partially hidden from view, she continued to spy on Jamie, watching her as she interacted with her date and her friends. Occasionally, Jamie would reach out and hold the cute woman's arm or lean against her for a moment as if sharing something special meant only for the two of them.

Much to Miranda's surprise, once the shuttle buses pulled up and began to load, all three of the women with Jamie hugged her, one by one, and walked away, leaving her there alone. The way Jamie stood there all alone, the way her shoulders sagged and the way she looked around, troubled Miranda. She knew she'd been unkind and unfair to Jamie, but had she also misjudged her? On impulse, before she changed her mind or let caution dictate her actions, she forged a path through the crowd.

"Hi, Jamie," she said, her heart pounding, her hands cold, even in the warm sun.

"So, it's you." Jamie looked down at the ground when she saw Miranda and kicked at some loose stones with the toe of her shoe. "Did you make the effort to come all the way over here for any particular reason, Doctor?"

"I came to apologize." Miranda reached out and touched Jamie's forearm. "Please, Jamie. I'm so sorry. I wasn't very nice to you. I didn't mean what I said and I feel bad about it, really bad. Please forgive me."

"Don't trouble your pretty little head over it." Jamie extracted her arm from Miranda's grasp and looked into Miranda's eyes for the first time. "I shouldn't have made such a nuisance of myself. I don't usually do that."

Miranda could see the sadness in Jamie's eyes and it bothered her more than she cared to admit. "No, I don't suppose you do. And believe it or not, I don't usually treat people the way I treated you, either. I wish I knew how to explain myself, but I don't understand the way I behaved any more than you probably do. I don't know what got into me. You were just being friendly and it seems as though I've forgotten what that means. Can we just pretend it never happened?"

"I was just being friendly and..." Jamie nodded. "Sure, why not? I can let it go if you can. I assure you I won't bother you anymore about doing things with me, though, you can count on that."

"The thing is you weren't bothering me. I didn't...uh...I'm...look, what I'm trying to say is, if you're here alone, how about spending the day with me?"

"I am alone, but I don't know, I..." Jamie hesitated and studied Miranda before she answered. "Well, okay, that would be nice."

Miranda smiled and sighed audibly. "Good, very good. I don't really feel like seeing this great city all by myself. I should have said yes when you asked me. I wanted to, believe it or not, but..."

"No need to explain or apologize any further. Let's just enjoy the day."

MODERN ATHENS, THE spirited and forceful ode to concrete, faded away in the shadow of the Acropolis as they climbed behind their enthusiastic tour guide, a doctoral candidate in ancient history from the University of Athens. Miranda and Jamie gradually but steadily ascended the steep, slippery hillside to the Propylaea, the sacred gates guarding the sanctuary of Athena. It was here where the tour group would enter the Acropolis.

"That was quite a climb," Jamie said, as soon as they reached the summit. "It's times like this when I'm grateful I'm in such great shape." Jamie wasn't even out of breath. For her, the climb had been nearly effortless, although most of the others in the tour group had to rest several times to catch their breath during the arduous ascent.

"I guess I'm not...quite as fit...as you..." Miranda said, bending over, her hands planted on her lower thighs just above her knees until she caught her breath. "My thighs burn a little, but I didn't find it as hard as some of the others."

"You did fine." Jamie glanced around at some of the people in their group. Many of them still struggled to reach the top and of those who had made it, some were noticeably short of breath and red in the face. "I guess now that we're up here, the rest won't be so bad." Jamie glanced up at the bluest sky she'd ever seen. "It's a magnificent day, isn't it? Not too hot, either, by Greek standards." Massive cloud formations floated by above them, propelled by a pleasant breeze. "At least those clouds will provide some relief from this relentless sun."

"Thanks be to the gods." Miranda put her index finger against her closed lips and signaled Jamie to be quiet. "The tour's about to start," she whispered. She took Jamie's arm and weaved a path closer to the front of the group.

"Built in the fifth century BC, the Acropolis was a place of worship," the tour guide began. "The Parthenon was built on the highest point as a tribute to Athena, the goddess of wisdom and the protectoress of cities."

"This is fascinating," Miranda whispered to Jamie after the guide delivered his narrative and moved the group to the next point of interest. Along the way, she took pictures with her digital camera. "I'm glad I came ashore today."

"Me too. I mean, I'm glad I came ashore, too. This guy is great and he really knows his history. One of the other fitness trainers has taken this tour and she told me not to miss it."

"She was right. I never knew that Athens had been continuously inhabited since the Neolithic age. Of course I knew it was ancient, but I never thought of it as the cradle of civilization or the birthplace of democracy. I guess I should have."

"I never really thought about it either."

After a brief tour of the Erechtheion Temple and the most sacred spot of the Acropolis, the Caryatid Porch, supported by columns of delicately carved maidens, the guide took them to the fringe of the Acropolis for a bird's eye view of two of Athens' most famous outdoor theaters followed by a short trip through the Acropolis Museum.

For the final leg of the tour, the guide escorted them to the site of the ancient Agora or marketplace. Little remained in the Agora ruins except for a chunk of a column here and a piece of stone there, and to the uninformed eye, the mysteries of its ancient past remained concealed. But, as their guide enlightened them with fascinating stories of everyday life in ancient Greece, the area came alive with history.

One last brief trip through another small museum and the tour guide announced the tour was officially over. After thanking him personally and slipping him a tip, Jamie and Miranda set off on their own to roam around Athens for the rest of the day.

They were quiet as they descended the hill back into the city, but once they arrived at the bottom, Jamie paused and said, "What a difference it makes to see the sights with a guide. Without his stories, some of it would have looked like a bunch of rocks."

"That's true." Miranda gazed directly into Jamie's eyes. "It was even nicer because we shared the experience together."

"I'm glad you said it and not me," Jamie said, her eyes remaining fixed on Miranda's. "I wouldn't want to get into any more trouble by telling you how happy I am to be here with you."

"Jamie, your eyes are the same color as the sky. They're beautiful."

"Thanks." Jamie swallowed past the lump that had formed in her throat.

For a minute or two, they stood there looking at each other on the sidewalk as if they shared the same hypnotic state, until Jamie brought them back to reality. "I read up on what to do in Athens, so I have some suggestions about how we can spend the rest of our day. That is, if you don't object."

"No, go ahead, show me the way."

Jamie talked as she walked. "Okay. First, I'd like to go to the Plaka, the oldest section in Athens. We're on the fringes of it right now. How about if we walk around, look in the shops and have Greek food for lunch. How does that sound?"

"Fantastic. I adore Greek food and I was hoping to find a few souvenirs and maybe get a gift for my sister, something actually made here. I heard they have exquisite jewelry and the price of gold is a lot less than in the States."

"I read it's not the gold that's cheaper, it's the labor and I read about a famous jewelry store we can check out." When they stepped into the center of the Plaka, Jamie glanced up at the street signs. "Come on, I'll take you there. I think it's this way."

"Wait." Miranda rested her hand on Jamie's forearm. "Would you mind terribly if we ate lunch first? Breakfast was a long time ago and my stomach's talking to me. It must be all that climbing and fresh air."

"Not at all. I'm famished, myself."

Miranda smiled, as if seeing Jamie in a new light. Jamie wasn't being flirtatious or smooth. She was genuinely nice, down to earth and cute as hell. "Jamie? I'm glad I ran into you today and I'm glad we decided to do this together. You seem different."

"So do you. A lot different. Now, come on, let's look for a good place to eat." She took hold of Miranda's hand and pulled her along the street. "I don't want to stand and eat sovlaki from some street vendor, either. I want to sit outside at one of these lovely little tavernas and take our time. Is that okay with you?"

"Absolutely. I'm dying to get off my feet and I'd love a cold drink. Look for a place filled with locals. They always know the best places to eat."

"I already have one in mind. Ah, there it is." Jamie pointed to an inviting taverna with colorful awnings and plenty of outdoor seating. A quick study of the menu, mounted in a glass case on the outside of the building enticed them to enter. "It smells heavenly in here, doesn't it?"

"Luscious," Miranda replied. The hostess greeted them and then led them to a shaded table under one of the awnings. The table's position provided them with a clear view of all the passers-by.

"It's nice to be out of the sun for a while." Jamie fell into her seat and surveyed their surroundings. "This is a prime spot for people-watching and the street's closed to traffic so there's no noise or obnoxious fumes. You know what I enjoy the most about Athens, especially around this area?"

"No, tell me." Miranda sat in the chair next to Jamie's on the same side of the table, so she too could look out at the view. God, she's delightful.

"The mix of old and new. For example, here we are, sitting in a very modern, upscale section of the city, surrounded by ancient ruins."

"I see what you mean. It's really unique, isn't it?" Miranda fanned herself with the menu. "It's unusually warm today. Is it me or do they have a hotter sun here than the one we have back home?"

"Maybe they do." Jamie made a serious face, one with a smile layered underneath. "I don't know. I thought it was the same one, but I might be wrong. Maybe we're just closer to it or something." She let her smile show through.

Miranda smiled back and for a few moments, they just looked at each other.

When the waitress showed up, she suggested they try some ouzo. With the apathy of someone who'd recited the same instructions to thousands of tourists, she informed them that it was customary to drink ouzo in the afternoon and cautioned them to drink it slowly and eat something along with it.

"Want to try some?" Jamie glanced at Miranda and raised her eyebrows. "You know what they say--when in Greece..."

"I'm game if you are, as long as we're sitting down. I hear it's potent stuff."

Jamie told the waitress to bring them some and asked for a few more minutes to look the menu over. Before the waitress ran off, Jamie asked her to take a picture of the two of them seated at the table. After she took two pictures, she left and Jamie turned to Miranda and said, "I don't see a lot of drunken Greeks around, so we should be all right if we just follow her advice."

"They're drunk all right. Wait until they stand up and try to walk."

Jamie laughed. "Maybe you're right. Maybe they can't even get up. Don't worry, if we get tipsy, we can sober up with some of the coffee frappe they drink all over Greece. Did you know that drinking coffee is a national pastime in Greece?"

"No I didn't. Is that what the guidebook said?"

Jamie nodded. "It's one of the many things it said."

"Then we should try it. I want the complete Greek experience." Miranda grinned and then perused the menu. "I want to try these herb marinated olives and I want something with shrimp in it, I think. How about you? Anything look good?"

"Everything looks good. Why don't we get a few different dishes and share them?" Jamie waved at their waitress and when she came over Jamie asked if she had any suggestions. She recommended a sampler platter of grilled shrimp, calamari, octopus, stuffed grape leaves, roasted potatoes and spanakopita.

"What do you think?" Jamie asked Miranda. "That sounds good to me."

"It sounds delicious." Miranda added crusty rolls and asked for one order of marinated olives. After the waitress left, she said, "If we eat too much, and it looks like we're going to, I'll just skip dinner and work out when we get back."

"Not me--no exercise, no cottage cheese, no fruit." Jamie's eyes sparkled when they met Miranda's. Reaching across the table, she patted Miranda's hand. "I am not behaving at all today," she said, with a mischievous grin.

Miranda held her breath for a second or two. Jamie's fleeting touch had reached so far inside of her it scared her. She felt it brush against the boundaries of her soul. God, how does she do this to me? She's such a charmer. Caution took over as questions popped into her mind. How many women had Jamie been with? How many hearts had she captured? How many had she crushed? Why am I always drawn to this type of woman?

Jamie rested her elbow on the table, propped her chin up with the palm of her hand and appeared to consider Miranda carefully. "A penny for your thoughts," she said as she leaned in closer.

"Only a penny? My thoughts are worth more than that."

"I know they are to me." Jamie winked. "Okay, you drive a hard bargain but I'll make it a quarter. That's my final offer."

"It wouldn't be fair to steal your hard earned money because I wasn't thinking about anything." Seeing the dubious expression on Jamie's face, she added, "I swear."

"You don't lie very well." Jamie continued to study Miranda. "Please don't get mad at me, but I have to tell you something and I know I'm pushing my luck saying this, but I don't care. I think you're a very pretty woman."

Miranda felt her cheeks grow warm as she weighed her response. "You should know something else about me besides the fact that I'm a lousy liar. I'm also not very good at accepting compliments."

"It's easy. Just say thank you."

"Thank you."

"See, that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"It wasn't hard at all."

"Now that you've got the hang of it, there's something else I want you to know. I'm having a wonderful time with you and for the first time I feel really comfortable being with you."

"You mean when I'm not being a bitch."

"You said it, not me." Jamie's tone was gentle, playful.

"I'm having a good time, too," Miranda said. "I hope you've forgiven me."

"Of course I have." Jamie placed her hand on the table near Miranda's.

Miranda noticed their hands were no more than an inch or two apart on the table. One slight movement and they would touch. She pulled her hand away and tucked it safely in her lap to prevent herself from doing something foolish. Before she had a chance to say anything more, the food and drinks were placed on the table and they got caught up in the business of filling their empty stomachs.

After devouring every morsel of their Greek feast, they went to check out the shops lining the streets of the Plaka. Some of them were filled to capacity with cheap souvenirs, but they chose to browse in the nicer shops owned by local artisans. At last, they stood in front of the jewelry store Jamie had told Miranda about earlier.

"This shop is owned by metal smiths who sell their own hand crafted twenty-four carat gold jewelry. It has a reputation as being one of the best in the city." Jamie opened the door for Miranda and then followed her inside.

In the first display case she came across, Miranda picked out a couple of earring and bracelet sets, one for her sister and one for herself. The sales girl took them out of the case and placed them on the counter so Miranda could see them. "What do you think of these, Jamie?"

"Nice choice. The workmanship is amazing."

"Not a bad price, either. I'm going to buy them. I don't wear a lot of jewelry, but I do like to wear some now and then, especially if it's an interesting piece." Miranda asked the salesperson to set her purchases aside while she continued to shop.

"What do you like to wear?" Jamie asked as they made their way around the shop checking out the contents of each display case.

"Mostly earrings, sometimes a necklace or bracelet. Let me show you this necklace I saw over here. I think it's extraordinary." She took Jamie to the last display case they'd looked at and pointed to a gold pendant attached to a gold chain. Instead of the pendant dangling from the chain, they were woven together to look like one continuous piece. On the pendant, the jeweler had carved an intricately detailed likeness of a woman riding the ocean waves on the back of a dolphin. "There's so much detail in the design. She looks like some kind of goddess. Look at the fish jumping out of the water around her."

"I love it. It's very special. Why don't you buy it?"

"I don't think I should spend the money. I'm already buying the other pieces and I've spent quite a lot today. Besides, we still have other ports of call and I've got the vacation with my sister coming up."

"But, you won't find this anywhere else and you can't beat the price."

"I know, but it still costs a lot and..." One glance at Jamie's face and she felt obliged to add, "I know. I'm too cautious, too careful." She always had been. She always did the right thing, always walked along the proven path. It suddenly occurred to her as she let herself fall into Jamie's eyes that she felt liberated in her presence and less bound by the rules she'd set up for herself, even if just for a short time.

"Maybe you are, but it's your choice." Jamie checked the time and frowned, holding her watch out for Miranda to see. "Damn. We need to get back to the ship."

"Okay, just let me pay for the earrings and bracelets and we'll go."

THEY TOOK A taxi to the pier and waited for the boat that would take them back to the ship. Jamie hated that her day with Miranda was about to come to an end, fearing the good feelings between them would recede along with the setting sun and she'd be left with nothing more than the fading memory of their day together. At least she hadn't done or said anything to break the fragile thread of friendship that had formed between them and that gave her hope that there might be more days like this one. "Well, it was an unexpected surprise to run into you this morning. I never thought I'd be spending my day with you. What are you going to do this evening?" she asked Miranda.

"First I'm going to check in with Toni and see if anything needs my attention and then if there's nothing going on, I'll go to my cabin and take it easy. My feet hurt and I'm kind of tired. What are your plans?"

"I'm tired, too. I think I'll just hang out and read, maybe."

Miranda was quiet for a time before she turned to Jamie and said, "I enjoyed today so much. Thank you for everything."

"I enjoyed it too, more than I can say." Jamie's eyes locked on Miranda's. She longed to know that there would be another time, another place, but she dared not ask for more. Now she knew what it felt like to be on the other side of things, to want to be with Miranda so much it consumed her thoughts and to wonder if and when she'd ever see her again. She said the only safe thing, the only thing she had a right to say. "Stop by the gym tomorrow if you get a chance."

"Maybe I will." That was all Miranda said. That was all she gave.

They were mostly silent as they continued to wait and when the boat arrived, they climbed on board with the others.

Chapter Eight

"MIRANDA, I'M GOING ashore in a few minutes. Need anything before I leave?" Lynn asked, standing in the doorway of Miranda's office.

"Not that I know of." Miranda stopped working and leaned back in her chair. "Check with Toni before you leave and see if she needs anything."

"I already did. She said for me to go ahead."

"I guess you're good to go then."

"Miranda, I've been wondering what you thought of the head fitness trainer after you went to meet her. Did you need a fire extinguisher? I hear she's a pretty hot number."

"Now that you mention it, she was pretty hot. Anyone with two eyes could see that. Even one eye would do."

"I hear she has quite a reputation. She's one of the hottest topics on the ship's rumor mill. They say she sleeps around a lot and goes out with loads of women. They also say the passengers are always hanging around her and asking her out."

"It's not hard to understand why they say those things about her. She's quite good-looking and she has a great body like you said. Quite impressive...really." Miranda clicked her pen a few times.

"Well, I heard she's charming all right and a great big flirt. She sounds like the love them and leave them type and that kind of woman can be dangerous."

"She doesn't seem dangerous to me." Miranda clicked her pen a few more times.

"I don't know her. I just know what I've heard."

"I don't know her that well, either, but I've talked to her a few times after that first time I went to see her. As a matter of fact, I had her do a fitness assessment on me. I guess you could say she's my personal trainer."

"Wow, you'll be the envy of all the lesbians on board."

"I don't mind that, as long as I'm not included in any of the gossip going around about her. I've heard some of it already from one or two of the passengers."

"So, what was the famous sex symbol like, in person?"

"She's nice and intelligent and interesting and to be honest, I like her. I ran across her again the day we docked in Athens, while we were waiting for the tour buses to take us into the city. She was alone and so was I, so we ended up spending the day together. She was fun to be with and we had a nice time."

"She was alone? How did that happen?" Lynn raised her eyebrows. "Just be careful with her, Miranda. You might not want to be seen with her too much."

"Don't worry, Lynn. I can take care of myself." Miranda smiled. She thought it best to get out of this conversation and fast, so she asked, "Who are you going ashore with?"

"One of the girls from the spa and that new bartender from the staff bar. I told you about her, remember? She came on board when you did."

"I remember. What are you going to do?"

"It's hot enough to go to the beach today, so that's where we're off to first, for a few hours. Then maybe we'll walk around and do a little shopping. They have a nude beach but we all agreed we can't handle that. Topless maybe, but not nude. Being seen totally in the buff, by strangers is too much for me." Lynn cringed and a slight blush tinted her cheeks.

"You mean out in public." Miranda winked at her.

"Uh...yeah, I guess." Lynn got even redder. "Now I get it."

"I'm just teasing you. I couldn't do it either."

"Couldn't do what?" Guy's deep voice boomed in ahead of him as he snuck up behind Lynn and stood next to her in the doorway. He draped his arm across her shoulders.

"Go nude on the beach," Lynn told him. "I was telling Miranda I can't do it."

"Damn, that's too bad." He laughed heartily. "That's something I'd sure like to see. I'd have to beg our doctor here for an extra day off just so I could go with you."

Lynn jabbed him in his side with her elbow. "You're such a pervert. I wouldn't want to see you naked, Guy."

"You wouldn't? You don't know what you're missing."

"Yes we do!" Miranda and Lynn shouted in unison.

"Relax ladies," Guy said, after they all stopped laughing. "You're safe with me."

"You can't go to the nude beach anyway, Guy." Miranda pretended to be serious. "We wouldn't want you to burn any of those tender parts that have never seen the sun."

"Ouch, that's a terrible thought." Guy winced, automatically covering his private area with his free hand. "Let's make it some other time, Lynn."

"Not on your life." Lynn held her index finger up and shook it in his face. "Well, I'm off for a day of fun in the sun. You all have a good time working while I go out and play." She threw Miranda a kiss and showed Guy a different finger as she left.

"Have a good time," Miranda and Guy called out after her. Miranda shook her head and smiled. "Well, let's get to work, Guy."

"Okay. I guess we have to do what we have to do."

Guy and Miranda joined Toni for morning clinic hours. When the last patient closed the door behind them, Miranda returned to her office and remained there until noon. Then she went back into the infirmary in search of Toni. At first she thought she wasn't there, but then she found her tucked away in the back of the pharmacy.

"What are you doing, Toni?"

"Not much. Checking inventory and stocking the shelves."

"I'm all caught up with my paper work for a change, so if it's all right with you, I think I'll take a break and go do something completely different for a while."

"Sure, Miranda. Go ahead. See you later." Toni turned her attention back to her work. "Enjoy yourself."

"Page me if you need me."

"Will do."

Miranda went to her cabin and changed into her swimsuit. Today, she thought she'd follow Jamie's advice and swim in the staff pool instead of going to the gym for her usual workout. The day was perfectly glorious and she needed to soak up some rays, get lost in the expanse of the open sky and breathe in the fresh sea air.

Fortunately, the staff pool wasn't crowded this time of day, so Miranda did as much lap swimming as she could tolerate and then reclined in one of the lounge chairs scattered around the pool. Weary of listening to an endless barrage of physical complaints and tired of constantly thinking and paying attention, she closed her eyes and allowed the hot sun to soak into her body and soothe her sore muscles. She had just entered another zone and had nearly drifted off to sleep when she heard someone speak to her.

"Hello, Doctor."

Recognizing Jamie's voice, Miranda smiled, turned her head and without removing her sunglasses, opened her eyes. Jamie stood over her in a two piece swim suit. With her heart pounding, Miranda remained under the cover of dark lenses while she allowed her eyes to gaze openly at Jamie's body without fear of discovery. At first, she dwelled on two perfectly formed breasts that swelled sensuously above the skimpy bikini top before she took in the rest of Jamie's spectacular physique. Then, as if Miranda suddenly realized she'd been silent for too long, she quickly lifted her sunglasses and met Jamie's eyes. "Hi there." Her voice sounded strange to her own ears as if it'd been forced out through a throat stuffed with dry cotton.

Jamie just stood there for a second or two and stared back. "May I join you?" She pointed to the empty lounge chair next to Miranda's.

"Please do," Miranda murmured. Jamie looked so comfortable in her own skin and her gaze was so direct, so unapologetic. And she was so stunning. Lord, have mercy.

Jamie spread her towel out and sat on the edge of the lounge chair. "Alicia said you were in the gym yesterday. I'm sorry I missed you. I had to meet with some of my trainers."

"I wondered why I didn't see you. Why aren't you in the gym now?"

"I'm on a split shift, so I have a few hours off before I have to go back to work." Jamie glanced at the sky. "I felt like swimming and being outside."

"Me too. Who can resist a day like this? It's gorgeous, isn't it?"

"It sure is." Jamie remained seated on the edge of her lounge chair. "I kept hoping I'd run into you but I haven't seen you in a few days. I guess you've been busy, huh?"

"Mostly, I've been working in my office. I had a pile of paper work to catch up on and the clinic's been pretty busy, but just the usual complaints, nothing we couldn't handle."

"I've been wondering. Do a lot of people get seasick?" Jamie asked.

"Not as many as you might think. The cruises are planned so the ships travel on calm waters and the newer ships are built with massive stabilizers."

"You look incredible in that bathing suit by the way." Jamie took a deep breath before she continued. "I knew about the stabilizers, but I didn't know if they really worked. If someone does get seasick, how do you treat it?"

"We have medications and patches but they make people too sleepy so they don't like to take them. Lying down helps but people don't want to do that, either, so I just tell them to get out on deck, breathe the fresh air, and look at the horizon. The nurses give out a lot of homeopathic remedies, anything that works, basically. Why, Jamie? Do you feel sick?" Miranda asked, genuinely concerned.

"No. I never get motion sickness. I was just curious and I'm interested in what you do. Have you had any emergencies lately?"

"No, knock on wood." Miranda knocked on the plastic arm of her deck chair. "I know this is plastic, but it might still work."

"I hope so, for your sake." Jamie smiled, but only for a moment. "I don't know if I'd have what it takes to be a doctor. You have to be so strong inside."

"That depends on what kind of doctor you are."

"You must have to be mentally strong to work in an emergency room, and brave."

"I guess so. It is one of the more demanding types of medicine, but that's why I chose it. I love the unpredictable pace and the mixed bag of problems."

"It must be exciting." Jamie's eyes never left Miranda's.

Miranda laughed quietly. "It's exciting all right, sometimes too exciting. Other times, it can be tedious and boring. People use the ER as a family clinic and we get loaded with all kinds of trivial garbage. I know people often don't have a doctor, but sometimes it's mind-boggling how some people define the word emergency."

"Miranda?"

What now? Miranda watched as Jamie took a tremulous breath.

"Will you have dinner with me tonight?"

"Thanks, but I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not? Do you have a girlfriend waiting for you back home? Or someone else?" Jamie reached out and touched Miranda's sun-baked forearm lightly with her fingertips, letting them hang back a moment before slowly tracing an imaginary line down to her hand. When she reached Miranda's hand where it rested on the arm of the lounge chair, she gently covered it with her own.

"It would be a girlfriend, if that's what you really want to know. I thought you would have figured that out by now." Miranda looked at their hands but did not pull hers away.

"I thought so but I wasn't absolutely sure."

"To answer the other part of your question, there's no one waiting for me."

"That's hard to believe."

"Is it? Why?"

"Because you're so attractive and interesting and because women like you always have a partner or a lover." Jamie leaned forward, her voice low and intimate. "Don't you want to be with someone?"

"Jamie, please. I don't want you to think I don't like you and I don't want you to think for one minute that I don't find you attractive, because I do. I'm made of flesh and blood and I'm not blind either, but we're working on a cruise ship and we won't be together that much longer. I'll be going home soon and you'll be staying on and even if we let something happen between us, nothing good could come of it, don't you see that?"

"In a way I do, but I'm not sure that's how it has to be. Why can't we enjoy each other while we can and see where it takes us? We can worry about the rest later. What have you got to lose?"

"Honestly? I can't afford to lose anything." Miranda spoke frankly, knowing that what she'd just said couldn't have been any closer to the truth. She had lost so much already and she didn't know what she had left to give to anyone or if she was willing to take that kind of risk again. In her eyes, getting involved with someone like Jamie seemed like an enormous risk.

"I don't want you to lose anything." Jamie said quietly. "I'd love it if you'd go to Venice with me while we're docked there. We could see the sights, do some shopping and have some more seafood."

"I can't. I promised Toni and Lynn that I'd go with them."

"I'm disappointed to hear that. There's a staff party this evening. Want to go with me? It might be fun to watch the others make fools of themselves. It would be strictly casual, no strings, I promise. All I want to do is buy you a drink and talk."

"Wow, that's a tempting offer, seeing that the drinks only cost a dollar." Miranda tried to make light of Jamie's invitation. She really couldn't afford to be seen at a staff party with the woman Lynn called one of the hottest topics on the ship. The rumor mill would spin itself right out of control.

"Okay, I'll buy you two drinks," Jamie offered. "Come on, please? I find you attractive and I like you a whole lot. I just want to spend time with you. If you don't want to go to the staff party, we could find something else to do. What do you say?"

"Look, I told you it's not a good idea. I've heard what they say about you and I don't want to be a part of any rumors or malicious gossip. You look like a heartache waiting to happen and I don't need any more heartaches in my life. What happens if I end up caring about you and you dump me and move on to the next woman who catches your eye?"

"Dump you? Move on to the next woman?" Jamie jumped to her feet, her face tight with tension, her hands clenched into fists at her sides. "A simple no would have been sufficient." She took a deep breath. "You know something, Doctor Ross? You talk to me like I'm some kind of superficial slut. Don't you think I'm capable of caring deeply about anyone? I don't know where you get your information, but it's wrong."

"I..." Miranda stammered. She quickly sat up on the edge of her lounge chair.

Jamie held her hand up. "I'm not finished. A lot of people don't take me seriously and a lot of people treat me like I have no feelings, but they're sadly mistaken. I just might feel a lot more than you give me credit for. Aside from that, do you know what bothers me the most? I admired you, I thought you were different, but I can see now that you're just like everyone else. My looks and this body of mine, they're not everything I am and they're not all I have to offer."

"I know that. I..."

Jamie held her hand up, again. "Don't bother. You've said more than enough already. It's time for me to leave. Someone might see you talking to me and we wouldn't want that now would we?" Jamie snatched her towel from the lounge chair.

"Jamie, I..."

"Honestly, you must think I'm stupid or something. Well, doctor, you're wrong again. This time I finally got the message, loud and clear. I'll leave you alone." Jamie started to walk away, but after she'd gone only a short distance, she spun around. "Just for the record, I am perfectly capable of being hurt." This time she kept on going.

Feeling shriveled and mean and as frigid as an arctic wind, Miranda groaned out loud and covered her head with her towel. And, obviously, I'm more than capable of hurting you.

Chapter Nine

THE NEXT AFTERNOON, the ship dropped anchor outside of Venice, where it would remain for two days between cruises. It would be the last port of call for the current passengers, who were scheduled to disembark the next morning. Many of them would stay on in Venice for an extra two or three days, some would travel to other places in Italy and others would simply fly home, their vacation having come to an end. Once they were gone and the ship was empty, most of the staff and crew would remain on board to prepare for the upcoming cruise while some, like Miranda and her staff, would be free to enjoy a rare day off before the next set of passengers began to board the ship the day after that.

Toni had been to Venice more than once, so she'd volunteered to take Lynn and Miranda to as many of the best tourist sites as one day would allow. And because they didn't have to report to the ship until later that evening, they decided to take advantage of a rare treat and stay ashore for dinner.

"From now on, we'll use the water buses," Toni announced, as soon as they stepped off the boat that had transported them from the ship to Piazza San Marco. "The gondolas are a tourist rip-off and the water taxis cost a fortune. The water buses are the cheapest way to get around and they go nice and slow, so we can enjoy the sights as we ride along the canals. If we each buy a twenty-four hour ticket, we can ride all day."

"Whatever you say," Miranda said. "You're the boss today."

"Why on earth did they build Venice here?" Lynn asked. "Seems like a bad idea to me. It's sinking into the sea, isn't it?"

"I can answer that." Toni opened her guide book to a page she'd flagged and read a passage aloud, explaining how Attila the Hun's rampage through the Italian mainland had pushed the Venetians toward the sea, forcing them to build their city on the islands and mud flats of the lagoon. At the end of the section, she raised her head and said, "I guess this was as far as they could go. And yes, Lynn, it is sinking, at an alarming rate."

"Sinking or not, it's absolutely glorious," Miranda said. "It's magical and I've never seen anything quite like it--the intricate architecture, the muted colors of the buildings, all the pinks, reds and shades of gold, and the way it looks like it's actually floating on the water. I'm so happy to be here. I've always wanted to come here." An image of Jamie jumped into her mind and she wondered whether Jamie had come ashore today. Perhaps she'd stood in this very spot. She pictured herself standing in the Piazza San Marco with Jamie by her side, talking to her and laughing with her like they had in Athens. The very next images to enter her mind were flashbacks of the awful things she'd said to Jamie at the pool and it made her heart hurt. She'd made the right decision, hadn't she? Convinced that she had, she shook off any further thoughts and images and tried to focus on what Toni and Lynn were talking about.

"It's one of the most fascinating cities on earth, that's for sure," Toni said. "So, let's get going. If it's okay with you guys, I thought we'd go to St. Mark's Basilica first. The inside is covered with four thousand square yards of golden mosaics and there's a great museum upstairs."

"Wait a minute. I read something about that." Lynn wrestled a fat little guide book out of her pocket and opened it to a page she'd marked by turning down the corner. "It says here, and I quote, 'the golden mosaics inside the basilica are a testament to the Venetian links with Byzantium', whatever that means. I don't know squat about ancient history." Lynn checked something else in the book and then put it away. "I'd like to go to the top of the bell tower of St. Mark's."

"Then this is your lucky day because we're going to do just that," Toni said. "And, I can't explain that Byzantium thing either. There's a museum at the other end of the piazza dedicated to the history of the Venetian Republic. Maybe we can find some answers there." Both Toni and Lynn looked at Miranda.

Miranda soon figured out why. "Don't look at me. I studied medicine, not history."

"We thought you knew everything," Lynn teased.

"All right girls," Toni said. "We've only got one day and we have a lot to see."

"Before we go anywhere, could we sit outside and get a cappuccino?" Lynn asked. "I need a lot more caffeine if I'm going to look at art and I'd like to enjoy the view of the square for a while. I might have some kind of gooey Italian pastry too."

"I guess we have time," Toni said. "Okay with you, Miranda?"

"Sure, I love cappuccino," Miranda said.

HOURS LATER, AFTER a whirlwind day of sightseeing, a hostess led them to a table at one of the more popular restaurants near the Piazza San Marco.

"What a wonderful day. Thank you for showing us around," Lynn said to Toni, once they were seated. "I'll tell you, though, I've had it. I'm exhausted from all that walking and talking and sightseeing. I couldn't look at another thing, or read about it."

"I agree with Lynn, but I loved everything we did," Miranda said. "It's so much easier when someone knows where to go and what to do, especially when your time is limited." She picked up the menu and started to read. "You know what? That double dip gelato we had for lunch is long gone and I'm starving to death. Good, they have lots of seafood."

"It's hard to find anything other than seafood in Venice. A lot of restaurants serve nothing but," Toni informed them. "God, I still sound like a tour guide, don't I?"

"As of this very minute, we pronounce you officially off duty, don't we Miranda?" Lynn looked to Miranda for confirmation.

"You're fired, Toni." Miranda looked at both of them and smiled. "Nothing left for you to do but eat, drink and be merry for the rest of the day."

"Hey guys..." Lynn pointed her finger toward the door. "Look who's over there. It's Alicia from the fitness center. She's with a couple of other women. They just walked in." Lynn shoved her chair back and stood up. "I'm going to say hello. Don't order without me, okay? I'll be right back." She disappeared before either Toni or Miranda could react.

"Knowing Lynn, she'll invite them to join us," Toni said.

"I wish she wouldn't. I'm not in the mood for a crowd. Maybe they'll say...oops, no such luck, here they all come." Miranda tried to determine who was with Alicia, but they walked between the tables in a straight line, so only Lynn was visible until they reached the table and spread out. In a split second, Miranda's heart threatened to burst through her ribs when she saw Jamie standing directly in front of her. I had no idea she'd be here. I can't go anywhere without running into her, not even Venice.

Momentarily, their eyes met, long enough for the encounter to register with Jamie who promptly pulled her eyes away. The swift stab of pain that distorted her adorable features and the hurt that bruised her eyes told Miranda exactly how Jamie felt about running into her.

Lynn introduced everyone before they took a seat. Maureen, another fitness trainer, sat beside Lynn and before Miranda could do anything to prevent it, Alicia took the seat next to Maureen, leaving Jamie the only remaining seat, directly across from Miranda.

If it weren't for the presence of the others, Miranda might have said something to Jamie, anything that might have helped to relieve some of the tension. As it turned out, those unforgettable blue eyes never held hers again, not even for one second.

Thanks to the lively dinner conversation, no one seemed to notice that Miranda and Jamie never spoke directly to each other and no one mentioned that Jamie wasn't her usual talkative and friendly self. In fact, Jamie barely spoke a word throughout the entire dinner unless one of the others asked her something.

The second she'd consumed her last bite, Jamie stood up and addressed Alicia. "Can we go? I'm tired. I want to get back to the ship." She tossed a generous amount of money on the table and said to the others, "That should more than cover my share of the bill and there's plenty extra there for the tip. I'm sorry to run out on all of you, but I've had a bad headache all day and it's not getting any better." She looked at Alicia. "Are you coming?"

"I don't want to leave yet, Jamie." Alicia pleaded. "We're going to have another drink and I want to try one of their desserts."

Jamie's face softened. "I'm sorry. Stay if you want. I'll get back on my own."

Maureen stood up and put some money on the table. "I'll go back with you, Jamie. I'm tired and I've got some things I need to do."

"Okay, if you're both sure," Alicia said. "I'll go back with these guys."

"I'll wait for you outside." Jamie told Maureen an instant before she darted for the door without another word or so much as a backward glance.

"What the hell's going on?" Maureen whispered to Alicia.

Alicia shrugged her shoulders. "Beats me. Tell her I'll talk to her later."

"Okay, I'll see you guys tomorrow." Maureen hurried to catch up to Jamie.

"What's Jamie's problem?" Lynn asked Alicia.

"I don't know. She wasn't acting like that earlier and that's the first time today she said a word about having a headache," Alicia answered, shaking her head. "That's so not like her. She's always so friendly and pleasant." She turned to Miranda for corroboration. "You ought to know that, Miranda."

Miranda's face changed. "Yes, I do know how nice she is." When she's not sitting across from someone who treated her like shit. "Maybe she really doesn't feel well."

"Come to think of it, she has been acting funny the last couple of days, like something was bothering her, but when I asked her, she said nothing was wrong."

"She's one hot number, I'll tell you that," Lynn stated, apropos of nothing.

"She's hot all right. No question about it," Alicia said. "But, she hates being thought of that way. People hit on her a lot, but she turns them down most of the time. She told me she hates being treated like a sex object. The whole time I've known her, she's only gone out with one or two women and I'm not even sure she considered them a date."

"Boy, that's not what I heard," Lynn said. "I heard she was sleeping around and going out with lots of women. Word has it she drops them like hot potatoes, too."

"Well, who wouldn't want to go out with her?" Toni put in her two cents. "I'm not a lesbian, but she'd make me entertain the poss--"

"Excuse me." Alicia held her arm out and waved it around at Toni to silence her. "Wait just a minute, Lynn, Those things you heard about her are not true. I think I know what makes people say those things about her. What I don't know is why. Are they jealous or just plain mean? I don't care what you've heard, she's nothing like that."

"Okay, well, I'm sorry. I'm just telling you what I heard. I don't know her personally. You can't blame people for talking about her. She's very sexy."

"That's true, but she's also a very special person. I know her and I think the world of her. She just happens to be wrapped up in a beautiful package. Believe me, she's every bit as beautiful inside as she is outside."

Stewing in her own shame, Miranda listened as Alicia told them how much she liked and admired Jamie. I should have known better than to listen to malicious rumors. She knew in her heart that Alicia was telling the truth, because in her heart she knew Jamie's true nature, she had ever since that day in Athens, but instead of believing what she saw with her own keen eyes and listening to the wisdom of her own heart, she'd listened to a pack of lies.

Recalling the awful things she'd said to Jamie made her feel sick inside. She searched within herself, trying to come up with a way to make it up to Jamie, to make things right between them, but she came up empty. It hardly mattered at this point because she knew she had no reason to believe she'd ever be given the chance.

Chapter Ten

THE NEXT AFTERNOON, Miranda draped her towel over the handle bar and stepped onto the treadmill. The magic of Venice had long since vanished into the horizon and she'd had very little time since then to dwell on the embarrassing encounter with Jamie. By coming to the gym, she knew she ran the risk of running into her, but she needed to exercise and if she happened to see Jamie, she'd just have to deal with it. The morning clinic session had been exceptionally busy and irritating and it had left her feeling like a bundle of jangled nerves.

Thirty minutes later, she stepped off the treadmill and walked to the weight machines to begin her strength training routine. In the middle of a set of reps on the chest press, she spotted Jamie standing near the free weights. With her heart wedged firmly in her throat, she met Jamie's eyes for a second, but before another second had passed Jamie hurried off in another direction, leaving Miranda unsure of whether Jamie had even seen her.

Another thirty minutes went by before Miranda finished her routine and prepared to leave. She still had plenty of time to return to her cabin, take a shower and relax for a while before getting back into her uniform for the rest of the day.

As she reached the door, something made her turn and when she did, she saw Jamie at the reception desk. This time, Jamie's eyes held on to hers, called out to her, waited to be acknowledged. Miranda looked away and gripped the door handle. She told herself to keep on walking, but she froze, unable to push the door open. When she turned again, she got a good look at Jamie's back. I can't leave. Not like this. At last, she surrendered and walked over to where Jamie stood.

"I don't suppose it would do any good if I apologized for the things I said to you the other day?" Miranda posed her question to Jamie's cold back.

Slowly, Jamie turned around. The front of her was just as cold. "No, probably not, but I'd like to hear it just the same. I think you owe me that much."

"I owe you something, so here goes. I'm sorry I listened to those nasty rumors other people were spreading around about you instead of making up my own mind. It was wrong of me and stupid and I'm sorry."

"And?" Jamie asked, folding her arms on her chest.

"Uh...and I assumed you were superficial because you're a fitness trainer, and then I assumed that because you're so sexy and attractive, you must be dating lots of people and sleeping around with everyone."

"Go on." Jamie said, showing no signs of yielding.

"Wait, let me think." Miranda paused. "You never did anything to lead me to believe that those rumors were true. I'm an adult and I should have known better."

"And?" Jamie repeated, her face a blank shield.

"You're enjoying watching me squirm, aren't you?"

"Yeah...quite a lot. So go on."

"And, I saw how uncomfortable you were during that dinner in Venice because I was there and I'm sorry that happened. I would have apologized to you, then, but we weren't alone. I hurt you and I really, really wish you'd forgive me." Not sure what Jamie wanted her to say or do, Miranda's mind was spinning with possibilities. For good measure, she threw in one last thing. "I'm an idiot."

"I know that. And?" Jamie insisted.

"And I'd like to make it up to you?" Miranda could see tiny traces of a smile lifting the corners of Jamie's mouth and a hint of brightness flickering in her eyes. It made her feel better than she'd felt all day.

"Now I'm listening. What did you have in mind?"

Miranda had to do some fast thinking to come up with an appealing offer. "You've been asking me to

dinner and I've been saying no."

"Believe me, I know that only too well. So?"

"So, I'm off the day after tomorrow when we dock in Istanbul and I'm going ashore alone and I'd like it if...I mean, maybe if you're off you can go with me? It wouldn't be dinner but I'd love to treat you to lunch. We had a good time in Athens, didn't we?"

"We did and I will," Jamie said without a moments delay. "Lucky for you, I happen to be off."

"You mean you'll go?" Miranda asked.

"I wouldn't pass up a chance to be with you Miranda, even if you do think so little of me. Call me a fool, but I don't seem to be able to resist you."

"Jamie, I never, ever thought of you as a fool."

"Well, I guess that's one thing in my favor. Are you sure you're brave enough to be seen with the ship's most infamous lesbian?" Jamie grinned.

Miranda winced. "I deserved that. I can't imagine what you must think of me. In fact, I don't think very much of myself right now. You make me...I don't know. I don't recognize myself when I'm with you."

"Maybe that's because you're different with me. Sometimes it's good to be pushed out of your comfort zone. Helps you get unstuck."

Miranda thought for a moment. "More like unglued in my case."

"Again...you said it, not me."

"Someone should say it." She grinned from ear to ear. "Okay, then. Why don't you come to my cabin around eight?" She proceeded to explain how to find it.

Nothing more needed to be said, but Miranda found she was unable to move or tear her eyes from Jamie's intense gaze. In Jamie's eyes she saw curiosity and amusement and something else she couldn't quite read. She's laughing at me, like she knows something I don't know.

"You make me feel off balance, Jamie, and you scare me." "Why would I scare you, Miranda?" Jamie's eyes held on.

"I don't know. You just do."

"That's a shame because you don't scare me, not even a little."

Miranda didn't know how to interpret Jamie's words. What are you keeping from me, Jamie? I see secrets in your face, questions in your eyes. "Just forget I ever said that. I don't even know why I did. I'm probably just being silly."

"Maybe so, but can I ask you a question?"

"Of course you can. What is it?" God, the way she looks at me.

"Have you always been this pretty?"

"I...I'm not that pretty."

"I think you are, especially when you smile."

"Well, thank you. I guess that means I should smile more often."

"I couldn't agree more. We'll have to see what we can do about that."

THE MORNING THEY docked in Istanbul, Miranda opened the door to her cabin and stepped aside to let Jamie enter. Why did the sight of Jamie always make the blood rush in her veins? She was nothing more than a good looking woman dressed in a pair of black jeans, a black tee shirt and a gray linen blazer, but what she did for that simple outfit was nothing short of amazing. How could Jamie walk around looking like she did and still pretend she was no different than anyone else? "You look really good, Jamie."

Jamie's eyes traveled over Miranda from head to toe. "You look rested and fresh, and healthy. I like that shirt on you. It's a good color for your complexion."

"Why thank you." Miranda spun around.

"You're getting better at accepting compliments."

"I've had a lot of practice thanks to you."

"Good, because I'm not finished yet. I like your hair pulled back like that. I haven't seen you wear it that way."

Miranda's skin felt flushed. She could have sworn that Jamie was staring at her mouth. "I'm looking forward to our day."

"Me too." Jamie went farther into Miranda's room, glanced around and whistled softly. "Wow, this isn't like our cabins. This is a private stateroom."

"All the officers have private accommodations, but it embarrasses me to be treated so special. I'm just working here like everyone else." Miranda glanced around at her extra large private accommodations with a queen-sized bed and adjoining sitting room. The lacquered wood, the gold trim, the polished mirrors the beautiful furniture and spotless carpets were all impeccably maintained by the housekeeping staff.

"Why be embarrassed? You deserve it and you earn it. You're the only doctor on the ship and that's a lot of responsibility."

"I suppose you're right." Miranda pointed to the sofa. "Why don't you sit down for a few minutes? We've got plenty of time."

"Okay." Jamie sat on one end of the sofa and patted the cushion next to hers. "Sit by me." When Miranda sat next to her, she said, "You're glowing this morning and you look full of energy. Your workouts seem to be paying off. Are they helping to keep your stress level down?"

"I think they are." Miranda stood up and slowly turned completely around. "My body feels firmer. It hasn't been long, but can you notice any difference?"

"Definitely. You look firmer, but still feminine. I like women with soft curves."

"I do too. Take you for example. I like the way you look. You're fit but it's not overdone. You're just right." Miranda sat on the sofa next to Jamie again, facing her. "What made you want to become a fitness trainer?"

"I'm not sure anyone's ever asked me that. I guess most people figure they already know the answer. They make the usual assumptions--because I'm vain, obsessed with my body, that kind of thing."

"I'm through making assumptions about you."

"Thank God." Jamie rolled her eyes. "Anyway, to answer your question, I wanted to help people feel better about themselves and live healthier lives. I find it rewarding."

"Those are very good reasons. I find helping people rewarding, too. That's one of the major reasons why I decided to become a doctor."

"I have other, more personal reasons. I enjoy working out and I love the way it makes me feel. And, I'd be lying if I said I didn't care about the way I look, because I do."

"You look amazing, you must know that," Miranda said.

"Thanks, but I also want people to see the rest of me, what I am inside."

"I know that and I want you to know that I see who you are inside and even though I haven't always shown it, I like you. I like you a lot." Warnings exploded in her mind, but for the first time since she'd met Jamie, she extinguished them without giving them another thought. "And I really, really like the way you look."

"Thanks for telling me that," Jamie whispered.

Miranda saw the sadness that darkened Jamie's face. "What's wrong?" She asked with alarm. "Have I said something to upset you?"

"No, it's nothing you said," Jamie lied. "It's just that...never mind, it's nothing."

"Okay, if you're sure." Miranda reached over and squeezed Jamie's hand. "What do you say we get going? I've got a special day planned."

"What are we going to do?" Jamie squeezed Miranda's hand briefly and stood up.

"First, I thought we'd start in the old city. I'm taking you to the Hippodrome and then to the Blue Mosque. It was built by a sultan and it's supposed to be magnificent. After that, I'm taking you to the church of Santa Sophia. It's a museum, now."

"I'm psyched. What else?"

"Hopefully, if we move along, we'll have enough time to see Topkapi Palace. It's the home of the Ottoman Sultans. Disney modeled Sleeping Beauty's castle after it."

"Sounds like a perfect day." Whatever had bothered Jamie seemed to have passed, so Miranda decided not to pursue it any further. She went on to tell Jamie more about her plans for the day. "After that, I thought we'd visit the outdoor markets. They're famous for their onyx and silk and leather and I'd like to see what I can find. I read that you have to bargain with the vendors, though, and if they offer you a cup of tea or some soft drink, you should say yes. It's a sign of hospitality and it doesn't mean you have to buy anything."

"That's good to know," Jamie said. "What about that lunch you promised me? All that activity is bound to make us hungry."

"I did not forget about lunch. I have a place in mind, but you'll have to wait because it's a surprise." Then Miranda added, "You don't mind trying the local food, do you?"

"No, in fact, I'd love to. You know, when in Istanbul..."

Miranda laughed. "Yeah, that's the way I feel. We should probably do lunch after we see the sights and go to the market last, so we won't end up carrying whatever we buy around with us the entire day."

Jamie nodded. "I'd love to find a nice leather jacket, a black one. Something soft and buttery."

"You probably can, I..." Miranda stopped, rendered speechless by a vision of Jamie in a black leather jacket. She saw herself in Jamie's arms and she could almost feel herself rubbing her cheek against the leather. She swallowed. "I can help you look for one."

"You might have to help me with the bargaining

part." "I hate the thought of it, but we'll give it a shot." Jamie stood up. "Okay, why don't we get going?

We're wasting time."

Chapter Eleven

TWO DAYS AND two ports of call later, Miranda sat in her office between the morning and afternoon clinic sessions trying in vain to concentrate on something other than the thoughts of Jamie that crept into her mind any time it wasn't otherwise occupied. Their day in Istanbul had been nothing short of delightful and as she savored the memory of Jamie in her brand new, buttery soft, black leather jacket for the hundredth time, she noticed Lynn standing in the doorway.

"What are you doing?" Lynn asked. "Besides day dreaming."

"Very funny. I'm trying to make a dent in this pile of paper work."

"Good luck." Lynn grimaced. "Morning clinic wasn't bad today."

"No, it wasn't. It's been a good day, so far. Let's hope it stays that way."

"How was your day in Istanbul with Jamie?"

"Great. We had a great time. She's really nice."

"You know what? I feel rotten because of what I said about her." Lynn entered the office and sat on the other side of the desk, facing Miranda. "Sometimes I get carried away and I don't like myself very much when I do things like that. I didn't even know her personally and I shouldn't have been spreading gossip or talking about her like that. I'm ashamed of myself."

"You and me both, Lynn. I guess we got reminded that we're only human."

"But, when I thought about how you'd spent time with her and how you said you liked her and all, I realized that maybe she meant something to you and..."

"Don't worry about it." Miranda gestured for her to stop. "I appreciate what you're saying, but I don't want you to beat yourself up about it. We all make mistakes."

"I know, but I still feel bad." Lynn fidgeted with a note pad on Miranda's desk, twirling it around and around. "I wanted to apologize."

"Apology accepted. Now don't..." Miranda was cut off by her pager and, at the same time, the phone in the clinic started ringing off the wall. "I'll answer this page. You get the phone," she told Lynn.

No more than a few minutes later, Miranda burst through the doors of the fitness center with Lynn and Guy behind her wheeling a stretcher. On the floor near the treadmills, they saw Jamie and one of the other trainers kneeling next to a woman who was sitting on the floor, her back resting against the wall. Miranda hurried over to them.

"Thank God you're here," Jamie said and moved a little to allow Miranda to kneel at the woman's side.

"What's going on?" Miranda asked.

"I was working with her on the treadmill when she started having chest pain," Jamie explained. "I stopped it right away and helped her to the floor. Then we called you."

"You did the right thing." Miranda focused her attention on the woman. "I'm Doctor Ross, the ship's doctor. Are you still having chest pain?" she asked the question even though she could see from the woman's grimace that she was.

The woman nodded.

"Is it just in your chest?"

"I can feel it in my jaw and down this arm." The woman indicated her left arm.

"On a scale of one to ten, how bad would you say it is?"

"An eight." The woman closed her eyes tightly.

One look at the woman told Miranda's trained eyes all she needed to know. All the classic signs of a heart attack were clearly visible. She knew what they had to do, so she started giving orders. "Lynn, check her vital signs and give her two nitro if her blood pressure is okay. Guy, put her on the monitor and start some oxygen."

As soon as Miranda determined that her patient had a stable heart rhythm and her vital signs were within normal range, she told Guy and Lynn, "Okay, let's get her on the stretcher and get her out of here."

The woman looked scared to death, so Miranda took her hand and spoke to her, "We're going to put you on a stretcher and get you down to the infirmary where we can take better care of you. What's your name?"

"Constance, Connie. Connie Miller."

"Okay, Connie. Just try to relax. We'll have you out of here in a couple of minutes. Did the medicine relieve your pain?"

"It's a little better, but it's still there." Connie closed her eyes.

Miranda got out of the way while Guy, Lynn and two male trainers lifted Connie effortlessly onto the stretcher with the oxygen and portable monitor and defibrillator propped on the mattress by her side. Without delay, they wheeled her off.

Miranda looked at Jamie. She could see that she was nervous and she noticed her hands were shaking. She reached out and grasped her shoulder. "You did fine. Go take a break and I'll talk to you later."

"Thanks for getting here so fast," Jamie said. "I've never been happier to see anyone."

Miranda winked at her, smiled and headed straight for the door.

BACK IN THE infirmary, they transferred Connie Miller to the ICU bed and helped her into a patient gown. Working together with polished efficiency, Guy connected her to the bedside monitor and re-connected her oxygen tubing to the wall oxygen, while Lynn got a set of vital signs and started two intravenous lines. From one of the lines, she drew a set of labs and in the other line, she started a slow drip of intravenous fluid to keep the vein open.

Miranda joined them a couple of minutes later and studied the cardiogram Guy handed her. "How's it going? Where's Lynn?"

"Lynn's running labs. Our patient's vital signs are stable and she's in normal sinus rhythm on the monitor," Guy informed her. "She still has some chest pain, though. About a six, she says."

"Miranda grabbed one of the blank charts stacked on the counter. "I'm going to start writing orders as we go along, Guy. I'll write for Morphine and nitroglycerin. We need to get that pain relieved."

After Miranda finished writing her orders, she went over to talk to Connie. "I need to examine you and ask you some questions and I need you awake, so let's do that before the nurse gives you pain medication." Miranda quickly obtained a medical history and examined her patient. "Now let me explain what's going on. From your cardiogram, it's clear to me that you're having a heart attack. It looks as if you had one in the past, too. Is that true?"

Connie nodded. "I had a small one three years ago. I've been doing okay since then, but this sure hit me hard, all of a sudden."

"That's the way these things happen," Miranda said.

Lynn returned with some lab results and Miranda looked them over. "Okay Connie, here's what we're going to do. We're going to give you some medicine to relieve your pain and we're going to give you another strong medication to dissolve any clots that may be obstructing the blood flow to your heart. Hopefully, that will prevent any further damage to your heart muscle." Miranda reviewed the possible complications from the procedure and got Connie to sign a consent. "Ah, here's Guy with your pain medication."

"Doctor, my partner's on the cruise with me. She was in the gym when all this happened and she must be frantic." Connie opened her mouth so Guy could place the small white nitroglycerin tablet under her tongue. "I'd like to have her here."

While Guy injected the Morphine into Connie's IV line, Miranda got her partner's name and cabin number and said, "We'll call one of the porters and see if someone can find her. In the meantime, I want you to rest. The nurses are going to keep a close eye on you and all you need to do is relax."

"Thanks, Doctor." Connie's eyes began to droop.

"Okay team, listen up," Miranda said, her mind already focused on the next task at hand. "Now we're going to do thrombolysis. Have either of you done it before?"

"I have," Lynn told her.

"Me too, quite a few times," Guy said.

"Fantastic," Miranda said. "Let's get started, shall we?" She wrote down the orders for everything she wanted them to do and as Guy went off to prepare the clot dissolving medication she told Lynn, "As soon as Guy gets back, I want you to get on the SeaMed system and contact a cardiologist at the hospital in case I run into any trouble during the procedure, will you?"

"Sure thing," Lynn said.

Miranda wrote some notes while they waited and when Guy returned, they started the procedure. To everyone's relief, it went smoothly without any complications and after it was over, Miranda finally had time to attend to some other important tasks. She had to call the captain and let him know what had happened. He would need to decide whether to transport Connie Miller to a hospital in Naples immediately or to keep her on board until the next morning when they docked there. Miranda guessed he would choose the first option providing they were close enough to land for the helicopter trip to be feasible.

About ten minutes later, Miranda returned. "The captain says we're close enough to Naples to have her air lifted by helicopter and taken to the nearest hospital.

He doesn't want to keep her on board until we get there tomorrow in case she gets into any trouble, so he's making the arrangements right now. I spoke to Toni and she's volunteered to go with her even though it's her day off. She'll get back on the ship tomorrow."

As soon as Miranda completed her sentence, a porter came through the door with a woman by his side. By the expression on the woman's face, Miranda knew right away who it was. She left the bedside and met her halfway. "I'm Doctor Ross. Are you Connie Miller's partner?" she asked as she offered her hand.

"Yes, I am." The woman shook Miranda's hand. "I've never been so scared in my life, Doctor." She glanced over at Connie. "What happened? How is she?"

"She's stable at the moment but it looks like she's had a heart attack."

"She had one a few years ago. I brought you a list of the medications she takes." She handed it to Miranda. "I had to stop at our cabin and get it from her suitcase."

Miranda read the list and asked a few more questions.

"She's not going to die is she, Doctor?" The woman covered her face with her hands and began to cry. "I'm sorry. I love her so much. She's my whole world. I don't have any family and I just couldn't bear to lose her...not now. Not like this. I wouldn't want to live without her. I wouldn't know how."

Miranda moved closer and put her arm around the woman's shoulders. "Hey...she's not out of the woods completely, but everything looks good right now and if it stays that way, she should be all right." Miranda knew better than to make any promises. The next two days would be crucial and she had no idea what they might bring. She explained everything they'd done for Connie since her arrival in the infirmary. "We're going to send her to a hospital in Naples. We don't want to keep her on the ship because if she gets into trouble they can handle it better in the hospital. We're just waiting for the helicopter to get here from the mainland."

"Can I go with her?"

"No. I'm afraid you can't ride in the helicopter because it's against regulations, but you can stay with her until she leaves. We'll be docking in Naples tomorrow and you can join her then. I'll make arrangements for someone to take you to the hospital as soon as we get there."

"Thank you. You're so kind. Connie and I have been together for twenty-five years. It's our anniversary. That's why we took this cruise...to celebrate. It took us three years to save the money." She took a tissue from her pocket, wiped her eyes and blew her nose. "I can't let her see me crying like this. It would upset her too much."

"I'm sorry this had to happen. Sorry for you both."

"I want to thank all of you for everything you've done. I can't tell you how grateful we both are." She hugged Miranda.

Miranda hugged her back and then said, "That's what we're here for. I wish you both the best and I hope you get to go home soon. Now, why don't you go over and sit by her. I'll get you a chair."

"Thank you for treating me like her partner and not like someone who didn't matter. I was afraid I wouldn't be allowed to see her or be with her."

"Not in my clinic. I respect your relationship and I understand why you need to be with her. Now go over there. She needs you too."

Chapter Twelve

MIRANDA LEANED ON the railing of the Promenade deck and stared at the dazzling display of stars in the vast expanse of sky above her. Beams of moonlight brushed against the surface of the water, painting the tips of the black satin waves with liquid silver. Drawing in a long slow breath of the fresh invigorating air, she filled her lungs and held the air in before letting it leave, carrying out with it the stresses of the day. Now and then, voices from somewhere off in the distance drifted in and out of hearing range, but in essence, she was alone.

How did she get here, she wondered, so far away from everyone and everything she knew? In the last few years, her life had changed so drastically, she hardly recognized herself anymore. The night, the sky and the sea conspired to transport her back in time, to make her think about the things she'd rather forget. In the early stages of her relationship with Ellen, she'd wanted--no, she'd believed--that they would be together for the rest of their lives. They had each other, the predictability of their daily routine, and a circle of interesting friends. To Miranda, those mundane things were a source of peace and comfort. At the time, they mattered more to her than anything else and now, it was as if none of it had ever taken place. Remembering her life with Ellen filled her with shame. What had possessed her to hang around, hoping and waiting while Ellen made a complete fool out of her over and over again? What had made her choose to cry alone and suffer in silence instead of just getting out of a bad relationship? Knowing she had no answers, she closed her eyes and sighed.

"Hi, Miranda."

Miranda gasped and put her hand on her chest.

"I've startled you. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Miranda turned to find a face filled with tenderness looking back at her, those familiar soft blue eyes caressing her. "How did you find me?" she whispered.

"I stopped by the clinic and a little birdie told me you were up here."

"That little birdie's name wouldn't happen to be Lynn, would it?"

"Yeah, it would. How did you know?"

"I called the clinic about an hour ago and talked to her, so she's the only one who would have known where I was."

"And now, I know." Jamie moved an inch or two closer. "Did you come up here to get away from everything...and everybody?"

"I guess I needed to be somewhere where things felt insignificant."

"Well, this is the place for that." Jamie's gentle eyes never left Miranda's. She reached out with her hand as if she were about to touch Miranda, but then she pulled it back and tucked it by her side. "You look so tired."

"I am. It's been a hectic two days." Miranda sighed. "I'm done in and I'm nervous and edgy at the same time. I think it's a combination of stress, fatigue and too much coffee. I tried to get some sleep, but I couldn't." Miranda broke the eye contact and faced the water. Something happened to her when she looked into those warm eyes and the more she looked at Jamie, the more she wanted her to touch her.

"Maybe it's not sleep that you need."

Miranda turned and met Jamie's eyes again. "You're a wise woman, Jamie Jeffries, and you're more right than you know. The problem is, I don't know what I need."

"I wish..." Jamie swallowed hard and looked away for a moment.

"What? What do you wish?"

"Nothing. Never mind. What happened to Connie Miller?" Jamie asked. "Did she make out okay?"

Miranda nodded. "We sent her to the hospital by helicopter."

"What happened to her?"

"She had a heart attack."

"I thought so. How do you think she'll do?"

"I think she'll be all right as long as she doesn't have any complications. She and her partner should be able to go home in about a week."

"They sure had a bad vacation." Jamie gripped the railing with both hands and faced the sea. "Boy was I ever nervous when she started having that pain in her chest. My heart was pounding and my hands shook like crazy."

"Anyone would feel that way." Miranda glanced at Jamie's hand resting on the railing and gently laid hers on top of it. She could see tears glistening in Jamie's eyes.

"Really? Do you get nervous too?" Jamie blinked rapidly a few times.

"Yes, of course I do. I've just learned to hide it well. Before she left, Connie asked me to thank you. She said you were very kind and she can't thank you enough for helping her. She told me she'd try to write when she got home, to thank you and let you know how things turned out."

Jamie turned her hand palm up and entwined her fingers with Miranda's. She turned toward her again. "Thanks for telling me that. It means a lot coming from you. You were so competent and so kind and I want you to know how much...how much I admire you. I watched you handle that whole situation. You were really something."

Miranda squeezed Jamie's hand. It had been a long time since she'd touched anyone or been touched by anyone, in this way. She had sensed that Jamie wanted to touch her and she wanted her to, but she didn't know what to do about it until now. In Jamie's eyes she saw everything she'd ever yearned for, everything she'd lost. "Thanks for the praise, Jamie, but that's what I do. I'm used to handling situations like that."

"I knew you'd say that." Jamie said quietly. "How was the rest of your day?"

"Way too busy. Getting someone air lifted off the ship is no easy task and there's a lot of paper work involved. We never had any kind of a break the entire day and then the evening clinic hours were busier than usual."

"That figures. Isn't that the way things go?"

"I tried to take a nap again after dinner, but I couldn't."

"You must have had a lot on your mind."

"Yep." Miranda let go of Jamie's hand and turned away from her. Feeling raw and defenseless, she squeezed her eyes shut to ward off the threat of tears. What was this power Jamie had over her? How did she always manage to rip her apart like this?

"Miranda? What's wrong?" Jamie placed her hand on Miranda's shoulder and turned her part way around. She studied her face for a moment or two and then she said, "Tell me how you feel."

Miranda turned to face Jamie, no more than an inch or two keeping them apart. In the tranquil silence, she swore she could hear their bodies humming like high tension wires. The pull of Jamie's body was almost more than she could resist. "Jamie..."

"Do you have any idea how much I want to hold you?"

"Jamie... please." Miranda surrendered and took that one last step that had kept her from being in Jamie's arms. A moan escaped unchecked as she remembered the warmth, the wonder of being held this way by a woman. She wrapped her arms around Jamie and pressed against her, letting Jamie seep into her pores and fill her empty spaces. Her lips touched the edge of Jamie's ear. "You feel so good, so damn good."

"So do you." Jamie closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. For a long time, they held each other until at last Jamie leaned back enough to meet Miranda's eyes. She molded her hand to Miranda's cheek and stroked it with her thumb. "You look so beautiful in the moonlight and your eyes are as deep and dark as the night sea. You take my breath away and having you in my arms feels so right. Please tell me what's making you feel so bad."

"I was upset about that woman and her partner."

"Why? Were you worried she might die?" Jamie stroked her cheek.

"A little, but it was more than that." Miranda's eyes never strayed as she poured out her feelings. "Her partner was so distraught about the possibility of losing her. She told me how much she loved her and how empty her life would be without her. They went on the cruise to celebrate their twenty-fifth anniversary. I guess it moved me, how much they meant to each other." Miranda's voice quivered and hot tears trickled down her cheeks, coating the back of Jamie's hand.

"Don't you think that's possible?" Jamie wiped the tears away.

"I used to, but...I don't know anymore."

"Don't you think anyone could ever love you like that?"

"No, I don't," Miranda said, her voice almost inaudible.

"Who was she, Miranda? Because whoever she was, she didn't deserve you."

"You don't need to hear my sad story, Jamie, about my lost love, about how someone I loved hurt me. I don't want to talk about broken promises and forgotten dreams."

"And hearts that are shattered into a million pieces?"

"Something like that." Miranda became silent. She stared into Jamie's eyes and after a moment or two, she spoke again. "Look, I think I'm being overly emotional because I'm exhausted. I've been away from home for a long time and today has been a rough one, that's all. It's nothing a little rest wouldn't cure."

"Maybe so, but I know you're hurting."

"Jamie, don't. I..." In Jamie's face, Miranda saw something she hadn't seen before, something she didn't want to deal with, not here, not now. Her heart pounded loudly in her ears like a kettle drum in a symphony orchestra and she feared Jamie would hear it.

"Are you lonely, Miranda?" Jamie asked. "Because I think you are and now I am, more than ever."

"It's hard to believe someone like you could ever be lonely."

"Why? Because you think everyone wants me? Maybe I want a lot more than that and maybe I need the same things you need." Jamie tilted her head and leaned in.

"I'm sorry, Jamie." Miranda shifted and edged away enough to create some distance between them. She knew Jamie was about to kiss her and she longed to kiss Jamie so much it hurt, but she couldn't allow it to happen. She knew what that kiss would do to her and she also knew she'd never get over it.

Jamie turned to face the sea again. "It's a beautiful night."

"It is," Miranda whispered. She had an urgent, painful need to touch Jamie, but she had to get away from her before she did something she'd later regret. "Maybe I should go to my cabin and try to get some sleep. I'm about to fall over."

Jamie's hands gripped the railing and she moaned softly. "Okay. You probably should."

"Jamie? What's wrong? What are you thinking?" The look on Jamie's face was one of pure torture and Miranda didn't quite know what to do. She didn't want to do anything to hurt someone so nice, so tender.

"Nothing, I...nothing. I guess I'd like to know when I'm going to see you again and be with you again. I know we don't have a lot of time left and I was thinking about Marseille. I'm off that day and if you're free, how about one last trip ashore before the cruise ends?" Jamie let go of the railing and turned to meet Miranda's eyes.

Miranda wasn't sure if she saw moisture in Jamie's eyes or if it was just a reflection of the water. She knew she saw pain in them and it hurt to know she had caused it. "I'm off, but..." She was about to say no when she reconsidered. It made no sense to avoid her for the rest of the cruise. "Okay, but this time you're in charge of the day."

"It's a deal," Jamie replied. "I'm going to treat you to lunch, so make sure you get to the gym during the next couple of days."

"It sounds like we'll be skipping dinner again."

"Definitely. Shall I meet you in your cabin like last time?"

"That sounds good. Around eight okay?"

"I'll be there. So, I guess I'll see you then unless I see you in the gym."

"You probably will. Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to turn in."

"You go ahead. I'll stay here for a while. I have some thinking to do."

"Goodnight, Jamie. Thanks for finding me and for being here."

"Goodnight, Miranda. Sleep well."

Leaving Jamie there alone took all the strength Miranda possessed, but she had to be strong. She had to go home. She had to leave Jamie behind. She just had to.

Chapter Thirteen

"JAMIE THIS IS spectacular." Jamie had hired a taxi to drive them high into the hills above the old harbor of Marseille to a place near the cathedral of Notre-Dame de la Garde. As they walked toward the cathedral, they paused by a low stone wall to enjoy the panoramic view of the oldest city in France. "It's magnificent from way up here."

"I thought this would be a good place to start." Jamie grinned.

"Let me take your picture," Miranda said, instructing Jamie to stand against the wall with the expanse of the harbor in the background. A passer-by saw what they were doing and graciously offered to take a picture of the two of them standing in the same place and after he left, they lingered there to admire the sights.

"What do you think?" Jamie asked.

"It's beautiful. I didn't expect Marseille to be this big."

"It's the second largest city in France. Greek sailors discovered it in 600 BC and until the nineteenth century, it was known as the gateway to the Mediterranean."

"It's also famous for the plague," Miranda added with a scowl.

"God, leave it to a doctor to point that out." Jamie laughed. "It's also famous for drug trafficking, crime, and gangsters. They filmed The French Connection here."

"They did? I didn't know that."

"Well, aren't you glad I told you?" Jamie grabbed Miranda's arm and pulled her closer. She pointed out the sights as she talked. "Look over there. Some of the old buildings around the port were built during the reign of Louis the Fourteenth. See over there? That's one of the forts he built and over there, that's the other one. It would seem logical that they were built to protect the harbor from invaders, but no, I read that he built them to keep an eye on his own people."

"That sounds about right. If I recall, he was quite paranoid and with good reason. His people were always plotting against him." Miranda jabbed Jamie's arm with her elbow. "Hey, this is fun. I can't wait to see where you take me next."

"Right now, we're going inside the cathedral. It's like an art museum."

After they toured the cathedral, Jamie took Miranda to the Garden of Ruins to see the ancient artifacts and after that, they took a leisurely walk through the city streets before returning to the area directly on the harbor known as the old port.

"The harbor's beautiful. Parts of the city are old and run down and some of it's very dirty and trashy, but it has a certain vitality and charm," Miranda commented.

"I think so, too. Hey, let's look around in here." Jamie stepped inside an inviting and aromatic shop selling perfumes, soaps and bath products.

Miranda went right over to the colognes and perfumes where she sampled a few of the fragrances she thought she might like. One in particular appealed to her, so she sprayed some from the tester bottle on the inside of her wrist and behind each ear.

"Jamie, come over here," she called to Jamie who'd wandered off to look at the soaps. She held her wrist under Jamie's nose when she got close enough. "What do you think?"

Jamie moaned. "That's heavenly." She took the bottle from Miranda's hand and read the label. Then she held the bottle up to her nose and sniffed it. "It smells even better on you. It must have to do with the way it reacts with your skin."

"I like it because it's not flowery. It's slightly spicy, yet it's fresh and natural. I never smelled anything quite like it. Leave it to the French."

"Why don't you buy a bottle?"

"Maybe I will." Miranda put the tester bottle down and took one of the sealed boxes down from the shelf. She gasped when she checked the price tag and held it up so Jamie could see it. "No I think not. Not at this price. No wonder it smells so good." Miranda carefully put it back in its place.

"Come on. It wouldn't hurt to splurge."

"No, I can't afford to splurge, not on perfume. Come on, let's look at something else." She wandered off to the other end of the store to look at a colorful display of beautifully packaged bath salts and bath gels. She thought she might pick some up for her sister and mother and maybe even herself. They would make beautiful gifts.

Jamie followed her, but didn't stay long. "You stay here and look around. I'm going back over to look at the soaps. I saw some I'd like to buy."

"Take your time. I want to look at these bath salts."

After visiting two or three other shops and buying a few things here and there, they strolled along the streets surrounding the old port, just looking at anything they happened to come across. The time flew by and before long it was late afternoon.

"I'm starving. Can we have lunch now?" Miranda asked.

"Yes, let's. I'm really hungry too." Jamie retrieved a folded piece of paper out of her jeans pocket and looked it over. "I wrote down the directions," she explained. "I think I can get us there from here."

"I hope you know where you're going." Miranda watched Jamie's every move with fascination. She couldn't help but get caught up in her boundless enthusiasm and her joy of life's simple pleasures. She was sweet and adorable in so many ways.

"Don't worry, you won't get lost with me. I'm about to take you to a very special place for one of the most famous dishes of Marseille."

"What is it? Where are we going?"

"You'll find out. It's a surprise." Several narrow streets later, Jamie paused in front of a small restaurant. "This is the place," she said, holding the door open for Miranda.

Once inside, Miranda made a point of swooning over the mouth-watering aromas that had permeated the entire dining room. Her senses were tickled and teased by garlic, onions, spices, wine, seafood and the distinctive scent of the sea, an odor that seemed to define the very essence of the air in Marseille. "It smells absolutely scrumptious in here."

Jamie spoke to the hostess who then showed them to an intimate table near one of the windows. "This is nice, huh? Great view of the harbor."

"Very nice. You made a good choice."

"I'm doing the ordering," Jamie announced, after she sat down. "Trust me?"

"You've never led me astray so far."

"Here comes the waiter. I hope he speaks English." Jamie fished another crumpled piece of paper out of her pocket and smoothed it out on the table with great care using the heel of her hand. "We'll have a bottle of Cassis blanc-de-blanc," she told him with a rather crude French pronunciation.

"Very well, Mademoiselle," he replied. "Would you like me to get that for you before you order?"

"Oh good, you speak English. That's a relief," Jamie said. "And, yes, you can bring the wine now and some bread and butter please."

"That's the local wine the travel book recommended we drink with the dish we're having," she told Miranda after the waiter left. "I hope you don't mind if I order for us? I have it all planned."

"Go ahead. I'm enjoying just letting you take care of things." Miranda liked the way Jamie had taken charge. Ellen had never done anything, not even something as simple as making a dinner reservation. Both of them had demanding careers, yet Miranda always had to take care of their home and all the details of their life. To make matters worse, Ellen didn't do romantic things, no unexpected gifts, no surprise dinners at very special restaurants or intimate dinners at home for just the two of them. No candles and no soft music either. She'd probably saved all of that for her other women.

The waiter returned with a basket of warm French bread, a tiny ceramic tub of sweet butter and the bottle of wine, perfectly chilled. After pouring a taste for Jamie and waiting for her nod of approval, he poured them each a glass and placed the rest of the bottle in an ice bucket by the side of their table. He also set a small dish of olives and marinated strips of eggplant on the table between them.

When he asked for their order, Jamie consulted her notes a second time. "I'll have the Bouillabaisse du Ravi and my friend will have the spaghetti with clams." As soon as he left, she explained, "I read it was worth traveling to Marseille just to have the spaghetti and clams and that the other dish is the one they're most famous for. I thought we'd get one of each and share them. I hope that's okay with you." Jamie folded her notes and put them back in her pocket.

"It sounds divine. My stomach's grumbling just hearing you talk about it." The care Jamie had put into planning their day touched Miranda deeply and she was struck by the realization that she would miss her. They had a lot in common and she'd enjoyed Jamie's company more than she'd ever thought possible. "This calls for a toast." Miranda lifted her wine glass. "To the most enchanting tour guide a woman could ever ask for."

Jamie raised her glass. "To you and to very special times and very special places."

"And lasting memories, let's not forget that," Miranda said. Gently, she clicked the rim of her glass to Jamie's, watching as Jamie's smile faded like a forgotten dream and her eyes became shrouded in sadness. That pain that Miranda had seen so often lately in them was there again.

"To memories." Jamie swallowed a large sip of wine and fixed her gaze on the view through the window.

"Are you okay, Jamie?" Miranda reached across the table and touched the back of Jamie's hand with the tips of her fingers. "I've had such a good time with you. You've given me a day..." She grasped Jamie's hand in hers. "No, you've given me many days that I'll never forget and I thank you for that."

I'll never forget any of it." Jamie pulled her hand away. "I can't stand the thought that you're leaving so soon. We were just getting to know each other so well." She glanced at Miranda for just an instant and then she stared out through the window again. "I can't."

"Jamie, I..." Miranda never got to say anything more because the waiter returned and plopped two steaming plates of food down in front of them. Perhaps the interruption was a good thing. She was sure Jamie did not want or need to hear the lame, apologetic goodbye she'd been about to say.

"We'd better eat our lunch," Jamie said. She looked at her watch. "I didn't realize it was getting to be this late. We don't have to rush, but as soon as we finish, we have to get back to the ship."

"You're right." Miranda looked at the food. "This looks great. Let's eat.

BACK ON THE Sea Goddess, Miranda let Jamie walk her to the infirmary. When they got there, she stopped in front of the door and said, "I guess I'll just say goodbye here, Jamie. I have to check in with Toni and see if she needs anything and I also have to make sure everything's in order before I leave tomorrow."

"Please don't remind me about that." Jamie hung her head. "Would it be all right if I stop by your cabin later on? I'd like to see you one more time, at least for a little while." She looked up. "Please? I need to talk to you about something important before you leave."

"Can't you talk to me about it now?"

"I'd rather not. Please?"

Miranda hesitated before she said, "Okay. Give me about two hours, will you?"

"I'll be there around eight-thirty. How would that be?"

"That's even better. That should give me plenty of time."

"Okay, so I'll see you then?"

"Yeah, see you then."

Chapter Fourteen

AT EIGHT-THIRTY on the dot, Jamie knocked on Miranda's cabin door, but got no answer. She knocked again, but still Miranda did not come to the door. Obviously, something had come up, or Miranda had decided to avoid meeting her one last time. Jamie's heart sunk as she waited anxiously, each minute seeming to drag on for an eternity.

As Jamie was about to give up and return to her own cabin, she spotted Miranda scurrying down the hallway. Relief rushed through her as she breathed deeply a few times to calm herself. "I thought you might not come," she said when Miranda got close enough to hear her.

"Sorry, I got tied up. I couldn't help it." Miranda unlocked the door and motioned for Jamie to enter. "I'm glad you waited for me. Have a seat, I'll be right back." She went directly into the bathroom and when she returned, she said, "Sorry, I had to go to the bathroom. Are you all right?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay. I'm just a little nervous." Jamie had been pacing in the middle of the room and she knew she must have looked as tense as she felt, so she took a seat in the chair by the bed and tried to appear relaxed. Somehow, right now, she had to come up with a viable plan to keep Miranda in her life indefinitely and as if that wasn't going to be hard enough, she had to convince Miranda to go along with it.

Miranda sat on the edge of the bed near Jamie's chair. "What are you nervous about?"

Jamie took a deep breath. "Nothing, really...nothing." She attempted a convincing smile even though her heart was weighted down with sorrow. Maybe some casual chit chat would help to settle her nerves. "Did you have a good time today?"

"I can't tell you what a great time I had. The lunch was out of this world, the wine was outstanding and the entire day couldn't have been better. If you ever needed a new career, you'd make a great vacation planner."

"I like my career just fine, thank you." Jamie noticed Miranda flexing her feet and toes and wincing with pain. "What's the matter? Do your feet hurt?"

"I guess they're sore from walking and standing all day."

Jamie patted her lap. "Here, put your foot here." She took Miranda's foot between her warm hands and massaged it for several minutes.

"That feels wonderful." Miranda closed her eyes, leaned back and groaned. "You have wonderful hands. You could do this for a living."

Jamie laughed. Her nerves were calming down a little, but touching Miranda was now leaving her with a whole new set of stimulation problems. "Give me your other foot," she said, playfully pushing the foot she'd already massaged off her lap. "And stop finding me new careers. Can't you just enjoy this?"

"Believe it or not, I can." After both feet had been thoroughly massaged, Miranda thanked Jamie and neither of them spoke for another minute or two until Miranda broke the silence and said, "You told me earlier that you wanted to talk to me about something. What's on your mind?"

Jamie looked into Miranda's eyes, sorting through her thoughts as she delayed the inevitable. "This is really hard for me to say," she began. "I don't know if I should say it at all, but I feel that I have to. There's something I need you to know, want you to know, and I'm afraid I'll never have another chance to tell you."

"Go on. You can tell me anything."

"I hope you still feel that way after I say what I need to say." Jamie shifted in her seat and cleared her throat. "You're driving me crazy, Miranda. I'm so attracted to you I don't know what to do. Ever since that day you came to talk to me in the gym, my feelings for you have been growing and growing and...and I can't stand to let you walk out of my life without knowing if you feel anything at all for me."

"Jamie..." Miranda leaned forward and touched Jamie's knee. "I'm so sorry. I do feel attracted to you, I do, but I don't think we should do this. I would love to be with you, I really would..."

Jamie had expected this exact response from Miranda. She had suspected that Miranda was attracted to her all along, but things were happening way too fast for both of them and she knew that Miranda was the type who would never indulge in a casual fling and then walk away without so much as a backward glance. If Jamie knew anything about her, she knew she wasn't that kind of woman. "But?"

"But this can't happen, Jamie, it just can't. I wish I could go to bed with you believe me. I want to and I've thought about it, more than you can possibly imagine." Her eyes never strayed from Jamie's, not for an instant. "I think I know how it would be with you and thinking about it has nearly driven me crazy."

"Well then? What's the problem?" While she waited for an answer, Jamie thought there was nothing she'd like more than to climb onto that big bed and take Miranda in her arms. She almost groaned out loud as images flashed through her mind, explicit images of her kissing Miranda, undressing her slowly, touching her everywhere and making mad, passionate love to her.

"The problem is I can't be casual about this, not with you. If we got in this bed and did what we want to do to each other, I'd still have to leave in the morning and I'm not sure I'd know how to deal with what would come after that."

"I understand that, but for me, this is more than just an attraction, more than physical desire. I'm falling in love with you, Miranda."

"Jamie...no," Miranda whispered. "It's too soon."

"Why? Just how long does it take to fall in love?"

Jamie closed her eyes for a moment and rubbed her forehead with her thumb and index finger. "Don't even bother to answer that. It's already too late for me. This love is alive in me and even though I've tried to fight it, I've lost the battle. I've told myself I shouldn't feel this way about you, but I do, and there's nothing I can do about it. I guess that's why they call it falling."

"Jamie, I find you extremely attractive. You're sexy and sensitive and smart. In fact, you're everything I've ever wanted, but we hardly know each other and for me, this is the worst possible time. My life is unsettled. I have to move into a new house, I have to find a job and we don't even live in the same city."

"We don't live that far apart and besides, things can always change. I've had some ideas and I've been thinking about some possibilities we might consider. I'll be back home in a matter of months and I guess I'm having a hard time understanding why we can't continue to see each other."

"I can't Jamie. I can't make any promises to you. I need to go home and get my new life together. I don't want any complications."

"I'm not asking for a lifetime commitment. I just want to be able to see you again."

"I'm sorry. Even that seems like too much for me right now."

"Okay. I thought you might say that." Jamie pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket and handed it to Miranda. "I've had lots of notes in my pockets today, haven't I?" Her feeble attempt at humor produced in her only a passing shadow of a smile. "Here's my friend's name, address and phone number. I'll be staying with her when I get back, at least until I get settled. My cell phone number is there too. Please call me if you change your mind or if you feel differently later on. I wrote down her cell phone number, too. She'll know where I am even if I don't live with her anymore."

Miranda took the note without looking at it and laid it on the bed. "Thanks, Jamie."

Jamie waited, hopefully, but Miranda's silence and her failure to write down her own address and phone number or anywhere where she could be reached, impelled Jamie to stand up. "I'd better go now. This hurts too much." She walked to the door and turned. "Goodbye, Miranda."

"Jamie, wait. Don't go. I..." Miranda hurried over to her. "It breaks my heart to have caused you any pain. Believe me, it's the last thing I ever wanted to do. You must know that. Please...I need you to know that."

"I...I don't..." Jamie's eyes filled with tears and she found it impossible to speak.

"Can I give you a hug?"

Jamie literally fell into Miranda's open arms and clung to her. If she could have, she would have memorized her smell, her softness, the contours of her body so that she could own this moment and keep it clear and unaltered in her mind forever.

After a while, Miranda pulled away and stepped out of Jamie's arms. She still stood very close to Jamie, but without touching her and she kept her head down as if looking at the floor.

"Miranda," Jamie whispered. With her hand, she lifted Miranda's chin, her eyes never leaving Miranda's mouth. She had to kiss her.

"Yes," Miranda whispered, just before Jamie's lips met hers.

At first Jamie kissed Miranda's lips tenderly, in order to savor the soft, sweet newness of them. Nothing else in the world existed other than the feel of Miranda's mouth against hers. She wanted to devour her, but she dared not expose the enormity of her hunger for fear she'd drive Miranda away for good. She wrapped her arms around Miranda and pulled her body close.

As their kiss deepened, it was Miranda who moaned against Jamie's mouth, Miranda who opened her mouth and invited Jamie to enter and explore with her tongue, Miranda who returned Jamie's kisses with a passion Jamie had only dreamed of.

At long last, Miranda broke away, gasping for air. "That was quite a kiss, Jamie."

"I've wanted to kiss you for so long," Jamie murmured, before she captured Miranda's mouth again. This time, she kissed her thoroughly, freeing Miranda's shirt from her jeans and running her hands over the smooth skin of her lower back. With a moan that came all the way from her toes, Jamie wrenched her mouth away. "I want you so much," she said, breathlessly, her forehead resting on Miranda's.

"Jamie, please. I can't do this." Miranda pulled out of Jamie's embrace and with trembling hands, straightened her shirt and tucked it back in. "Don't you see? I can't go home if I do this. If I make love with you, I won't be able to leave you and I need to be able to leave you."

"Why?" Jamie pleaded. "Why do you have to leave me?"

"I just do. We've known each other twenty-four days. We've been to romantic places and it's all been like a dream. Life won't be like this at home. I have to go back to my life and you have to go back to yours. You'll forget me soon enough, you'll see."

"I see, all right." Jamie faced the door and grabbed the doorknob. "I see that it's you who wants to forget me. I'm sorry we didn't meet at the right time or in the right place and I'm glad this is so easy for you, because it's killing me." Jamie slowly turned the knob and opened the cabin door. "I guess it is time we said goodbye, Miranda. Have a safe trip and a great life. I wish you the best. I thought you..." Jamie shrugged her shoulders and turned to meet Miranda's eyes one last time. "Well, I guess I was wrong." Abruptly, she turned and left.

JAMIE ALMOST RAN back to her cabin. Alicia was nowhere in sight and the room was dark. Thinking she was alone, she threw herself on her bed and sobbed. "I have to find a way to get through this. I have to," she said, pounding her fist on the bed.

"What the hell's going on out here," Alicia burst out of the bathroom and ran over to her friend. She wedged her way onto the side of the bed and sat next to Jamie.

"Why are you crying? What happened?"

"I didn't know you were here."

"I just got in and I had to pee. I didn't even turn the light on."

"It's Miranda...she...she...," Jamie cried even harder.

Alicia placed her hand on Jamie's back. "Okay, cry it all out and then we'll talk." Alicia rubbed her hand on Jamie's shoulder. She reached over to the nightstand, handed Jamie a few tissues and waited.

After a short time, Jamie sat up against the headboard. It took her a while to catch her breath and dry her tears. "It hurts so bad, Alicia."

Alicia reached out and put her hand on Jamie's arm. "What does, honey? What did she do to you this time?" She shook her head. "I told you she scares me."

"No...she's wonderful. I'm in love with her. She's the nicest person I've ever known. You've got it wrong, Alicia. She's the one who's scared."

"You're in love with her? Seriously?"

"I know...crazy, huh?"

"Well, no, it's not crazy. I just didn't expect it."

"Me either, but it's true and she's leaving tomorrow." Jamie pressed the tissues to her eyes one by one, trying to soak up the never ending flow of tears. "I finally meet someone who matters and now I'm never going to see her again or talk to her again or..." Jamie closed her eyes and sighed. "I don't know how I'm going to get over her or even if I can."

"I hate to ask this, Jamie, but I take it she doesn't love you?"

"I don't think so. She admitted to being attracted to me, but that's all. She said she had to go back home and get her life together and she doesn't want any complications. I guess that's what she thinks I am...a complication."

"She didn't say she wanted to see you again?"

"No. Nothing. I gave her my phone numbers and address, but she didn't even look at it or give me any way to reach her. I'm never going to hear from her again, I know it as sure as I know my own name."

"Well, I feel sorry for her. She's a fool to pass you up. A damned fool."

"I'm the one who's a fool."

"I don't think so. Did you...I mean, have you..."

"Made love? No, we kissed and hugged, nothing more. It's not that I didn't want to. I ached to be with her, to touch her, to belong to her. That's one of the hardest things to bear about this...that I'll never have her."

"Jamie...it'll be okay, you'll see."

"No, Alicia. It'll never be okay."

Chapter Fifteen

Washington DC, ten months later.

"VAL, SET THE table, will you?" Miranda had just finished spreading a new linen tablecloth on her brand new dining room table. "Use my good dishes and the wine glasses you helped me pick out. Oh, and I bought two bottles of that cabernet we all love so much. They're out on the counter."

"Wonderful, it'll be great with the steaks," Valerie said. "I need a drink after the kind of day I've had. It's not Valentine's Day or Mother's Day, but for some unknown reason, everyone in DC wanted to send flowers today. It was crazy. What else are we having?"

"Caesar salad and baked potatoes."

"Did you buy the salad at the gourmet market?"

"Where else? I picked it up on the way home from work."

"I love that place. How was your day, by the way?" Valerie asked.

"Not bad. We were slow and steady with the usual busy work until they brought in six victims from a four car collision. One had severe head injuries, but the rest of them weren't too bad. And there's a construction site near the hospital, so we got this guy with a crushed hand."

"In other words, a fairly routine day, huh?" Valerie shook her head.

"Pretty much, Sis." Miranda laughed. "When do you expect Tommy to get here? I hope I didn't put the potatoes on too early." It was Friday evening and Miranda had invited her sister Valerie and her brotherin-law Tommy for dinner at her new home. She'd lived in it for the past nine months and these weekly dinners with them, either at their home or at hers, had been her only social life since she'd returned home from Barcelona.

"No, it'll be fine. He'll be here any minute. We'll let him grill the steaks," Valerie said. "Isn't that what husbands are good for?"

"Yeah, I suppose, that and fixing things, but I'm not the one to ask about that. Did I tell you they're starting work on the other two bathrooms tomorrow?"

"That's good. I can't wait to see how they turn out. I'm glad you're getting settled and things are going well for you. There's just one thing missing."

"Don't start that again, Sis. Not today."

"Well, why not? You need to hear it. Are you planning on spending the rest of your life holed up in this house all by yourself? All you do is work, come home and stay here by yourself. You don't date, you don't socialize. It's not normal."

"I don't have time to date. I've been busy fixing my house up. And, in case you've forgotten, I'm a doctor. I can't help it if I have to work a lot. Besides, I'm not alone all the time. I spend a lot of time with you and Tommy."

"And we're both very happy that you do, but don't you ever feel the need for some female companionship?" Valerie made a face. "Come on, you know what I mean."

"There's plenty of time for that. I..." Much to Miranda's relief, her attempt to justify her position and explain her personal choices in life, yet again, was interrupted by the doorbell. "There's Tommy, now." She ran off to the front door and let him in, grateful to be saved from her sister's lecture on how she needed a girlfriend. Lately, she'd been forced to endure it one time too many. "Hey, here's my favorite brother-inlaw." She hugged him and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'm your only brother-in-law, Doc, but thanks anyway." He kissed her back.

She grabbed him by his arms and glared at him. "You're just in time to save me. Valerie's on me again about finding someone to share my life with."

"So, she's at it again, huh? Take me to her and I'll see what I can do for you." He followed Miranda into the kitchen, kissed his wife on the cheek, lifted her off the floor and spun her around. "How's my little flower girl?" Tommy had called her that ever since she'd opened her florist shop in downtown DC.

"Great. I had a very profitable day. How's my handsome lawyer?"

"Tired and starved," he grumbled. "Business law makes me hungry."

Miranda chimed in. "I should think it would ruin your appetite."

"Everything makes him hungry, Miranda, you know that. Well, you're in luck, honey. Dinner's almost ready. Take your jacket and tie off and put this apron on." Valerie flung the apron at the middle of his chest. "You're grilling the steaks."

"Why do men always have to grill?" Tommy complained as he donned the apron and tied it behind him. "Don't women know how to grill? They know how to do everything else. What happened to the days when a man came home from work, propped his feet up and read the paper while the women put his dinner on the table?"

"All those women had to go out and get jobs," Valerie countered without missing a beat. "Besides, you hate reading the paper and you told me you love to grill."

Tommy held his hands up. "Guilty as charged, my love."

"She'd make a great lawyer, don't you think, Tommy?" Miranda asked. "She's a natural." Tommy scratched his head. "She is right though, about me hating to read the paper. I can't stand the news. It's far too depressing. So how do you want the steaks cooked? Medium-rare for everyone, as usual?" He looked at them.

They both nodded.

"They'll take about fifteen minutes. Should I put them on now?"

Again, they both nodded.

"Okay, get everything else ready." Tommy picked up the platter with the steaks on it, grabbed the grill tongs and headed for the back door.

After dinner, Tommy retreated into the living room with a big slab of cake and a mug of coffee while Valerie and Miranda cleaned up.

Valerie stood in front of the sink rinsing dishes for the dishwasher. All of a sudden, she stopped right in the middle of a dinner plate and stared at Miranda's neck. "Where'd you get that necklace you've been wearing? You've worn it every time I've seen you since you got back and I don't remember you having it before you went to work for the cruise line."

"I didn't. It's from Athens."

"It's gorgeous. Did you buy it in the same place where you bought my earrings and bracelet? I know I told you this a million times, but I love them."

"I didn't buy it for myself, it was a gift." Miranda had never said anything to her sister about Jamie and she had no intention of discussing her now. With any luck, Valerie wouldn't chase the subject any further. "I think it's from the same place, though."

"A gift?" Valerie leaned forward and scrutinized the pendant as she twisted it back and forth in her fingers. "Who is this, anyway? A Greek goddess or something?"

"I don't know, but I love it." Here we go.

"It looks expensive," Valerie noted.

"It's solid gold, so I suppose it was." Valerie's questions sounded casual, but Miranda knew the questions would continue and soon they'd be anything but casual. "You don't have to look so suspicious."

"From a friend, you say?"

"You're nosey, Val, you know that?"

"I know, but I also know you're withholding information. Come on, I'm your sister. Who gave it to you?"

"Okay, if you must know, it's from a woman I met on the last ship I was on." Miranda gave in. Experience had taught her that resisting the master inquisitor was futile. Valerie would pry and prod until she dug it out of her or drove her crazy, whichever came first.

"She must have liked you a lot to buy you this. Did you like her?"

"Yes, we liked each other a lot. We didn't get along at first and it took me a while to warm up to her, but we ended up becoming good friends."

"Judging by this gift, you were more than that."

"Well, we weren't." More than a little anger clawed its way into Miranda's tone. She really didn't feel like talking about Jamie. What good would it do?

"Okay, okay, don't get mad. What's wrong with you, anyway?"

"Nothing, forget it. Let's just change the subject."

"All right, if you're going to be that touchy, but someday I want to hear every detail and don't think I'm going to forget. Speaking of the cruise ships, Eve Kincaid called. She's having a dinner party a week from Saturday and she's invited the three of us. She wants to meet you."

"Oh, I don't know, Val, do I have to go? Who's going to be there?"

"Some of the people she works with, I imagine, and some of her friends. Who else would be there? She didn't send me a copy of the guest list, Miranda. What difference does it make, anyway? You worked on her cruises and God knows, it wouldn't hurt you to get out and meet some new people. Besides, I want you to come. Please?"

"I guess I do need to get out more. I'm only going if I can go with you and Tommy. I'd rather not go by myself or meet you there."

"Okay, it's a deal. We'll all go together. She said to come around six, so we'll pick you up about five thirty.

You're not on call that night, are you?"

"No, I'm totally free that weekend. What should I wear?"

"Eve said to dress casual."

"Okay, I guess it wouldn't hurt me to go. It might be nice."

"Excellent. I was beginning to think you'd turn into a hermit one of these days. I've had horrible visions of coming over to your house and finding you dressed in a dirty robe and slippers with your hair all ratty, talking to yourself in a corner, half your teeth..."

"That's enough, I get the picture. I don't mean to alarm you, Sis, but I already talk to myself, quite a lot-out loud, too."

"Well, hell...who doesn't?" Valerie chuckled.

Chapter Sixteen

"THIS IS SOME house. It must have cost a fortune," Miranda said as they pulled up in front of a gorgeous four story brownstone in the Georgetown section of the city. She had to lean way down in the car to see all the way to the top. A huge red door was framed by an intricately carved stone arch, a larger version of the arches that framed each oversized window. Shimmering brass lamps flanked the doorway, their light casting a warm glow in the duskiness of early evening. The entire tree-lined street made her think of cobblestones, horse drawn carriages and centuries of American history.

"It's great, isn't it?" Valerie craned her neck to the right and looked up at it through the car window. "She does very well, I think."

"Does very well?" Miranda repeated. "She's probably quite wealthy. It costs a fortune to live in this part of DC."

"No doubt about it," Tommy said. "She tapped into a lucrative niche in the travel industry. It was a brilliant idea and as far as I can see, she can't lose."

"Every lesbian cruise I worked on was booked to capacity." Miranda leaned forward from the back seat. "Are you sure I look all right, Valerie? Eve told you we should dress casual, right?"

"That's what she told me and you look better than all right. Eve may have loads of money, but she's not uppity. She'll just be happy to meet you."

"You both look hot tonight," Tommy said.

"Tommy! What a thing to say." Valerie punched his upper arm.

"Uh, I mean casual hot, if you ask me, which of course, you didn't."

Miranda and Valerie both laughed.

Tommy laughed, too. "So, are you two beauties getting out or what?"

"Tommy, you're a piece of work," Valerie said as she opened the car door and put her foot down on the blacktop. Miranda slid out of the back seat and joined her.

"I'll park the car and be right behind you," Tommy yelled out the window.

Eve swung the door open the instant they rang the doorbell. "Val," she said with a big smile on her face. She pulled Valerie into the foyer and for a full minute, they hugged, giggling softly and swaying back and forth. When the hugging ended, Eve addressed Miranda. "And this must be Doctor Ross?"

Valerie took over. "This is my sister, Miranda Ross. Miranda, this is Eve Kincaid."

"It's nice to meet you, at last," Miranda said, shaking Eve's hand. "I want to thank you for convincing me to take the cruise ship job. I think it was the right thing for me at the time and as it turned out, it did me a world of good."

"I was happy to help," Eve replied. "You can't beat the benefits and let's face it, your circumstances were ideal."

"The benefits were unbelievable. I didn't have to clean or cook or do laundry and I was treated like royalty. The best part for me was the traveling because I'd never had a chance to do a lot of traveling before. I also wanted to thank you for getting me the job so quickly. I know you had to pull some strings."

"No problem. It would have taken a year to get hired the regular way."

"So I heard," Miranda said. "And thank you for inviting me to your home tonight." Eve had an imposing, self-assured presence and yet, she exuded warmth and sincerity. Now Miranda understood why her sister was so fond of her.

"It's a pleasure to have you here," Eve said. "Where's that Tommy?"

"He's parking the car. He'll be here in a minute," Valerie said.

"I hope he finds a place," Eve remarked, and as she did, another woman came over and stood next to her. "Hi, babe," Eve said, as she kissed the woman on the cheek and wrapped her arm around the woman's waist. "Doctor Ross, this is my life partner, Gina. She's also the co-owner of Maiden Voyages."

"It's very nice to meet you, Doctor Ross." Gina extended her hand. "Eve told me all about you and I was hoping I'd get to meet you someday soon."

All about me? Great. I wonder how much Val told Eve. "Same here and please call me Miranda--both of you." Her insides clenched as she remembered that Gina was Jamie's friend. She wondered if Gina knew how Jamie was doing or where she was, but she didn't ask. Not knowing made it easier to let go of the past.

As soon as Tommy joined them, Eve and Gina led them all into the living room. Eve hooked her arm in Miranda's. "Let me introduce you to our guests, Miranda. Valerie and Tommy know most of them, but you probably don't know a single soul."

"I don't think I do."

"Everyone's not here yet," Eve told them after the introductions were complete. "Why don't you guys get something to drink and help yourselves to some appetizers? There's a full bar over there and they're bringing champagne around. Gina and I have some things we have to attend to. We'll catch up with you later."

They all grabbed a crystal flute of chilled champagne that floated by on a silver tray and filled a small plate with delectable hot hors d'oeuvres that were being carried around the room by a couple of tuxedoed waitresses.

"Don't eat too many, Tommy," Valerie reminded her husband as he loaded a heaping pile of them onto his plate. "You'll ruin your appetite for dinner."

"Don't nag me, woman. I'm at a party." He made a production of popping an entire crab stuffed mushroom into his mouth and chewing it defiantly.

"Okay, stuff yourself. Who cares?" Valerie dismissed him with a wave of her hand. "You'll be up half the night with indigestion and then you'll say I didn't warn you."

"If I do have indigestion, I'm not going to tell you."

"Right. I should be so lucky."

"Hey, you two. Knock it off," Miranda said. "Let him eat what he wants, Val."

"Yeah, Val. You heard the doctor. Say what you want, but I'm going to enjoy myself and if I have to pay for it later, that's on me. I think I'll go over and talk to Josh and his wife. You coming?"

"No. I'll say hello later. You'll just talk politics and that'll give me indigestion. I'm liable to say something bad about Josh's precious Republicans and get arrested for treason. They'll put my name on the FBI list or something for being too liberal minded."

"You can say whatever you want around me. I love my little flaming liberal, left-wing wife." He kissed her and walked away.

"He's such a pain," Valerie mumbled to herself.

"Never mind that, Val. Will you look at this room? It's like the living rooms you see in House Beautiful...God." Miranda could hardly take in the beauty of it--the coordinated drapery and furniture fabrics in vibrant reds, warm browns and tranquil blues and the walls painted in the perfect complimentary shade of an incredibly soothing blue. Stripes were perfectly matched with floral patterns in a way only a professional decorator could envision and nothing in the room shouted out its presence, nothing jarred the senses. Everything flowed seamlessly to create a concept of subdued luxury.

"Excuse me for not reacting. It's just that I've seem it all before. She hired an interior decorator to do the main rooms. She and Gina did the upstairs rooms. You won't get to see the other floors, but they're just as beautiful."

Eve came back to join them, put her arm around Valerie and said, "I've missed you, Val. We really should get together more often. Let's have lunch real soon, okay?"

"Okay, we'll do that. I'll call you, I promise."

Once that was settled, Eve turned her attention to Miranda. "I've been meaning to ask you. How did you like being a cruise ship doctor?"

"The work was more demanding than I thought it would be, especially when I was the only doctor on board, but for the most part I enjoyed it." Miranda spent the next fifteen minutes or so telling Eve about her daily work routine on the ships and to make things a bit more interesting, she threw in some of her more memorable anecdotes.

"What did you think of the all lesbian cruises?" Eve asked.

"They were great. I never heard any complaints and most of the guests told me they appreciated being free to be themselves. That's always a good thing."

"That's what my people tell me, but I wanted to hear what you thought. Early on, Gina and I went on a couple of the cruises, but now we're too busy. We have employees who go on random cruises to make sure things are going well. Quality control, so to speak."

"Now there's a job perk for you," Valerie remarked.

"Are you interested, Val?" Eve teased.

"No, not me. I've got enough to do and no offense, but I don't think we belong on the ocean. It scares me to death."

"Wait a minute," Miranda protested. "You talked me into going. Weren't you afraid the ship would sink or your only sister would fall overboard and be eaten by sharks?"

"Nah, you needed to get away."

After the laughter subsided, Eve continued her conversation with Miranda. "Valerie told me you bought a house in...excuse me, I hear the doorbell." She looked around. "I don't see Gina around anywhere. Stay put, I'll be right back."

As soon as Eve left them, Miranda leaned closer to her sister and said, "You never told me what an attractive couple Eve and Gina make. They're both handsome women."

"I didn't?" Valerie sounded surprised. She grabbed Miranda's sleeve and tugged at it. "Eve's coming this way. She's got a couple of women with her."

Miranda looked at Eve first and then at the other women. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary until what was in front of her actually registered in her brain. She almost fainted right there on the spot. Jesus Christ, it can't be. Seizing her sister's arm, she held onto it with all her might to keep from falling on the floor. Her other hand, she clamped securely over her mouth to stifle a gasp. Never in her wildest imaginings, would she have dreamed she'd come to this party tonight and see Jamie Jeffries casually strolling toward her.

Jamie stopped dead in her tracks the instant she saw Miranda standing in front of her. Her eyes opened wide and her mouth dropped open in disbelief. "Oh, my God, I can't believe it! It's you, Miranda. I never expected to see you here."

"Jamie..." Somehow, Miranda managed to say that much.

"I take it you two know each other?" Eve looked quite puzzled. She searched Valerie as if looking for a clue to what was going on, but Valerie merely shrugged her shoulders.

Miranda regained enough composure to speak again. "Sorry. Yeah, we do. Jamie and I were on the same ship for a while." Everyone just stood there silently while Miranda and Jamie continued to stare at each other in disbelief.

Valerie got things moving again. "Well, Miranda, why don't you introduce us?"

Even in her state of shock, Miranda noticed that her sister was looking at her as if she'd just been beamed down to earth from a space ship and frankly, she felt like she had. This was an alien experience and so unexpected, so unreal to her that she didn't even respond to Valerie's request.

"I'll handle the introductions," Eve offered. "This is Jamie Jeffries. She's a friend of Gina's. Obviously, Jamie, you've already met Miranda and this is Valerie Fuller, Miranda's sister, and my longtime friend."

Jamie offered her hand to Valerie. "Nice to meet you. Miranda told me about you."

"I'm sorry to say she never mentioned you," Valerie said, shaking Jamie's hand. After she let it go, she turned toward Miranda and frowned at her.

"She didn't? Well, I'm sorry to hear that," Jamie said. She didn't extend her hand to shake Miranda's. Instead, she introduced the young woman next to her. "This is my date, Lilly Benson."

"Will you two excuse us?" Eve asked Valerie and Miranda. "There are some people I want Jamie and Lilly to meet and I also want to let Gina know they're here." Eve took Jamie by the hand and dragged her and her date off to another part of the room. As they walked away, Jamie quickly glanced over her shoulder and met Miranda's eyes for an instant. Then, just a quickly, she turned around.

"Get Tommy. Right now. We have to leave." Miranda squeezed her sister's arm with all her might. "Right now. Hurry up!"

"Ow, you're hurting me." Valerie yanked her arm free. "What's gotten into you? Are you crazy? I've never ever seen you act like this in my entire life."

"I'll tell you about it later. Please find Tommy. I want to go home, right now."

"Absolutely not. I am not leaving this party. We haven't had dinner yet and it would be incredibly rude. Now you get a grip on yourself and tell me what's going on." Valerie grabbed Miranda's sleeve. "Come over here." She pulled Miranda off into a secluded corner of the room. "Does it have anything to do with that woman we just met?"

"Yeah, it has everything to do with her."

"You mean the gorgeous, obviously lesbian person named Jamie? Jesus, Miranda, this isn't like you. Did the two of you..." Valerie's mouth dropped open. "Hold on, I get it now. She's the one who bought you that necklace."

"It's not what you're thinking. We liked each other and we spent some time together, that's all. We were friends. I..." Miranda covered her face with her hands and slowly shook her head back and forth. "This is awful," she mumbled through her fingers.

Valerie grabbed one of Miranda's hands and gently peeled it away from her face. "Miranda, you can tell me all about this later, but for now, would you please try to get yourself together? I value Eve's friendship and I hardly ever see her anymore. I don't want to hurt her feelings. If you insist on leaving, I'll have her call you a cab."

Miranda held onto her sister's hand to steady herself. "You're right. I'm behaving in a ridiculous manner and I wouldn't want to offend Eve and Gina, either. Obviously, they've gone to a lot of trouble. I was shocked to see her, that's all." Miranda pressed her other hand on her chest and took several deep breaths. "Give me a minute."

Much to Miranda's relief, they were summoned to dinner before Valerie could say anything further or ask her any more questions. They hustled over to join the queue and filed into the dining room behind the others to find their assigned places at the immense table. Miranda's relief was short-lived when she discovered that she'd been seated on the opposite side of the table, very close to Jamie and her date.

During dinner, she talked to the people on both sides of her, but did not speak directly to Jamie or Lilly. Whenever she thought they weren't looking, she glanced over at them, wondering what Jamie was doing in DC and how much Lilly really meant to her.

After dinner, Miranda promptly got up and made her way to one of the sofas in the living room, hoping to avoid her sister and sit by herself for a while. The shock of seeing Jamie still echoed through her and she found it tough to stand around and talk to the other guests about trivial things. Almost as soon as she'd made herself comfortable, she caught sight of Jamie talking with a group of women, her arm around Lilly's waist.

As if Miranda's eyes sent off some kind of signal, Jamie turned and scanned the room. When their eyes met, Jamie looked at her briefly, but her eyes seemed empty and her expression was blank. She turned back to Lilly, whispered something to her and then walked across the room toward Miranda. "Mind if I sit down?"

"Please do."

"I bet you never thought you'd see me tonight," Jamie said, sitting forward with her elbows on her knees, her face resting in her hands and her eyes fixed straight ahead.

"You know I didn't. I still can't believe it even though you're sitting next to me." I can feel you. All this time and now I'm close enough to reach out and...

"I didn't know you were going to be here or I wouldn't have come. I'm sorry." Jamie sat back and turned toward Miranda. She extended her arm across the back of the sofa.

Jamie's words stung, causing Miranda to wince involuntarily. She shifted sideways in her seat and dove straight into the cerulean eyes she remembered so well, eyes as blue as the Aegean sea on a cloudless day. As they always had, they warmed her frozen soul and reminded her of one of the last times she'd felt truly alive. "I hardly think you have anything to be sorry for."

"Maybe not, but I can see that I've upset you by being here."

"It might have seemed that way when we first saw each other, but I was just so floored when I saw you walking toward me." Miranda said. "To be honest, I'm really happy to see you, Jamie."

"Are you really?" Jamie asked, her face a contest of pain and anger.

"Yes. Are you visiting Lilly for the weekend?" Miranda asked.

"What? No...no, I live here now."

"You live here in DC?" Miranda had no idea Jamie was in the same city, but then, how could she have known? "Where? When? Since when?"

"Since about six months ago. I have an apartment in the Adams Morgan section. I couldn't afford to buy a house after I sunk almost all of my money into my new gym."

Miranda touched Jamie's arm, but quickly withdrew her hand when she saw Jamie's reaction. "Your new gym? That's wonderful, Jamie." More questions came rushing out. "When did you do this? Is it open yet? Where is it?"

"Hey, slow down. One question at a time." Jamie's face came to life for the first time since she'd come over to sit next to Miranda. "I found the property a few months ago. It's also in the Adams Morgan section and no, it's not open yet."

"Why did you decide to open it there and not somewhere downtown?"

"There are too many gyms downtown, but the biggest reason was because I like the area and I wanted it to be a friendly, neighborhood type of gym. The renovations are almost done and if everything goes as planned, I should be able to open soon."

"I'm so happy for you."

"Me too." Jamie almost smiled. "So, where do you live?"

"I have an older townhouse in the Kalorama section.

Remember, I told you about it? The one I went home and bought before I arrived on the Sea Goddess?"

"Yeah, I remember. That's one of the hottest areas in the city right now."

"I got a good deal."

"Well, you're a doctor, so I'm sure you can afford it. If my gym does well, maybe I'll be able to buy a house someday. Right now, I'm pretty much broke except for a modest emergency fund and enough money to get me through about six months of bills."

"I'm sure it'll be worth the risk."

"I hope so, or I'm really going to go under." Jamie became quiet. She removed her arm from the back of the sofa and rubbed her hands together in her lap. "You look good, Miranda. Your hair's a little shorter."

"I just got it cut." Miranda swallowed hard. "You look good too, Jamie." You're so good-looking, just sitting next to you makes me dizzy.

"I guess you found a job, huh?"

"Yes, I did. I'm an ER attending at Georgetown University Medical Center and I'm also doing some teaching in the medical school."

Jamie's eyes focused on Miranda's neck. "I see you found the necklace." She leaned a bit closer and sniffed. "And you're wearing the perfume I bought for you. I love the way it smells on you."

Miranda's eyes willed Jamie to look at her and she did. "How did you manage to sneak them into my bag?"

"It was easy. When I came to see you that last night, I hid one in my shirt and the other one in my pocket. When you went in to use the bathroom, I saw that one of your bags was open in the corner of the room and I slipped them inside."

"Why didn't you just give them to me?"

"I wanted to give them to you, I wanted..." Jamie paused. "I suppose I thought you might not accept them."

"I might not have, not then, but I was very touched when I found them." Miranda had discovered the gifts in her hotel room in Barcelona. She'd cried for over an hour, grateful that her sister hadn't yet arrived at the hotel "I don't know how to thank you. It was so sweet of you to buy them for me." What she didn't tell Jamie was that she'd worn the perfume and the necklace almost every day since she'd returned home.

"I wanted to give you something that would remind you of me."

"Jamie...I'd never forget you. Why would you think that?"

"I don't know, but I thought you might have and after a while, I was sure that you had. Just out of curiosity, why didn't you ever call me?" Jamie asked. "For a while there I prayed every day that you would until eventually, I stopped."

"I can't answer that. I wanted to. I thought about it every day." Miranda felt as if a ten ton weight had landed on top of her chest. The pleading in Jamie's eyes, the sadness she saw in them almost ripped her apart. "I had no idea you were planning on moving here. I wish I had known." Forgive me, Jamie.

"Why? Would it have made a difference?"

"I don't know."

"It was an idea I was toying with. That last night, if you'd showed the least amount of interest in seeing me when we got back home, I would have discussed it with you and I would have told you that I'd been thinking about moving to DC to open my gym."

"So, when I told you we should say goodbye, you decided not to?"

"That's about it. You obviously didn't want to see me."

"That's not true. I..." Miranda grimaced. "Hell, I don't know. Sometimes, I think I'm such an idiot." Miranda felt the heat radiating from Jamie's body even though they weren't touching and her heart beat thumped inside her ears. Ten months had passed and still her body reacted to Jamie's presence with a force that frightened her. "I guess I was scared to death." I still am.

"I don't understand why you're scared of me. I'm harmless, Miranda."

"I know how I must sound." Miranda buried her face in her hands and sighed. "I can't stand to hear my own words. Why didn't you try to find me when you moved here?"

"I wanted to, but what was the point? I didn't feel like being rejected again. It hurt too much the other times."

"I know I've hurt you. It's hard for you to believe, I'm sure, but at the time, I thought it was the best thing for both of us."

"You know what I think? I think you think too much." Jamie looked around and shifted in her seat. "I'd better get back to my date."

Miranda had followed Jamie's eyes as they scanned the room and she'd seen Jamie's date gesturing for her to return. As Jamie started to get up, Miranda grabbed her arm and pulled her back down onto the sofa. "Jamie, are you involved with Lilly? Is she your girlfriend or your partner?" One look at Jamie's face and Miranda knew that her questions were not only out of line, they were not well received. "I'm sorry. I don't have a right to..."

"You're damned right you don't." Jamie stood up and looked down at Miranda. "Why should it matter to you, anyway?"

"I don't know. I just wanted to know, that's all."

"She's a date, Miranda. I do have your permission to date, don't I? Honestly, I should think you'd be relieved that I'm bothering someone else and not you and believe it or not, unlike you, there are plenty of women who actually like me and want to be with me."

"Of course there are. I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."

"Are you involved with anyone?" Jamie planted her hands firmly on her hips.

"No."

After a moment, Jamie took a deep breath and forced it out through her tight lips. She returned to her seat on the sofa. "Look, this isn't the best place to talk, or the best time. Why don't we go out to dinner or something? There's no reason we have to avoid each other, is there?"

"No."

"Okay then, but I need you to be clear about one thing. I don't want anything from you and I promise I won't throw myself at you again. I can't imagine what got into me on the ship."

"I understand."

"Good. Give me your phone number and I'll call you."

"Okay. I'll write my cell phone number down and bring it to you before you leave. I have to get a piece of paper and a pen first. I'll give you my home phone number, too."

"Fine, you do that. I'm not leaving any time soon." Jamie got up and walked away.

Miranda's eyes followed Jamie as she rejoined the group of women she'd been talking to earlier. She watched as Jamie claimed her rightful position next to Lilly. She watched as Jamie wrapped her arm around Lilly's waist. She watched as Jamie pressed the side of her body against Lilly's and she watched with moist eyes as Jamie leaned in to whisper words meant only for Lilly to hear.

Less than a minute later, Miranda stopped watching and reached a hand up to wipe a burning tear from her cheek.

Chapter Seventeen

"BEFORE TOMMY GETS home, tell me all about this Jamie Jeffries," Valerie said. "You wouldn't tell me one single thing on the phone this week and you insisted on talking to me in person, so start talking."

"There's nothing more to tell. I met her on the ship, we spent some time together and then we went our separate ways. That's all." Miranda had just arrived at her sister's for their usual Friday evening dinner, almost a week after Eve's party. She'd managed to avoid answering her sister's inevitable questions when they'd talked on the phone during the week all the while knowing that eventually, she would have to tell her about Jamie. She'd told Val that she was too tired to talk, that she had laundry to do or reading to catch up on and now she'd run out of excuses.

"That's all? And she bought you that expensive necklace because you were just a casual acquaintance, nobody special? Have I got that right?" Valerie scrunched her face up. "You cannot be serious."

"Okay, it was a little more than that. We really liked each other."

"Really liked each other?" Valerie rolled her eyes heavenward. "Miranda, you're too much. Do you fool yourself as much as you try to fool me?"

"More, I think." Miranda was backed up against the wall with no where to go so to speak and she knew it. She'd have to say more if her sister was ever going to leave her alone. "Look, we kissed and that's it, I swear to God. She told me she was falling in love with me the night before I left the ship." Seeing the skepticism on her sister's face, she elaborated. "What was I supposed to do? I was finished working for the cruise line and she still had over two months to go. It was all too much for me and too fast and I didn't think it would work out."

"So you panicked?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say that."

"Now that makes more sense. Why on earth did you think it wouldn't work out?"

"For one thing, she lived in Baltimore."

"So? For God's sake, Miranda, we live in the twenty-first century. We have cars, you know and public transportation and paved roads and all of that. She's nice and she's very, very attractive, so what is your problem, exactly?" Valerie shook her head.

"I don't have a problem."

"You most certainly do." Valerie took a deep breath and sighed deeply. "I don't understand you at all. It would make sense if you didn't like her, but I saw how you looked at her, how you acted around her. Why would you run away from a woman like her?"

"Well, she's too good looking and..."

"That's a good one," Valerie interrupted, shaking her head again.

"Will you stop shaking your head and let me finish? I don't know if she can be trusted. She's too flirtatious, too attractive and she's too, she's too..."

"Too what? Too wonderful? Too gorgeous? Too sexy?"

"Too much trouble. Women like her are too much trouble."

"Wait a minute. Back up. How can she be too good looking? I certainly wouldn't mind looking at her every day," Valerie said. "So explain something to me..."

"Explain what?" Miranda could almost hear her sister's wheels spinning and by the expression on her face she knew Val had already put two and two together and had come up with the sum total of whatever she'd been trying to avoid telling her. Fooling her was just about impossible. So was hiding the truth.

"Never mind. You don't need to explain a thing. This is all making sense to me now. She reminds you of Ellen, doesn't she?"

"Yes, she does. When Ellen and I first met, I thought she was the best thing going. I loved to show her off and I loved the way people envied me. Little did I know she was a lying, cheating, superficial..." Miranda bit her lip, sucked in a deep breath and exhaled loudly, something that sounded more like a groan. "I feel so ashamed when I think about how I let her hurt me over and over again, Val...so ashamed."

"Listen, Sis. I know what she did to you and I can understand how you feel, but it still doesn't mean this woman is anything like her."

"The rational part of me knows that, but I can't allow myself to take a chance like that again. It hurt too much and I'm not sure I could live through that a second time."

"I worry about you, honey. You're such a great catch and I hate to see you so alone all the time. Tommy and I are your only link to sanity and that's not saying much." She laughed. "Don't you ever get lonely? Don't you miss being close to someone and the, you know...the rest of it?"

"You mean sex? Can't you just say sex?"

"Not only can I say sex, I can spell it, too, so quit trying to distract me and answer my question. Don't you miss having sex?"

"No, well maybe...okay, sometimes. I have plenty to keep me occupied, you know. I have my work and my new house." Her words rang false, even to her own ears. Who am I kidding? I miss the sex. I miss it something awful.

"That's a bunch of crap and you know it."

"Thanks a lot, Val. You don't understand. Jamie and I met on a cruise ship. That's no place to meet someone. Besides, I wasn't sure how I felt about her at the time and I thought we wouldn't have anything in common once we got home."

"Boy, you thought of every reason in the book not to give her a chance. Come to think of it, you always think way too much."

"That's funny. Jamie said the same thing about me at Eve's party."

"Well, she's right." Valerie pointed to her head and then to her heart as she said, "You need to get out of your head and listen to your heart once in a while. I want you to tell me how you feel about her."

"She's nice and intelligent and just for the record, I think she's gorgeous, too, but most of all I enjoy her. She's fun and..."

"Stop, Miranda. I asked you how you feel about her."

"I can't answer that." This time, her words were the pure, unmitigated truth and she struggled to hide a sudden tidal wave of emotions. She had feelings for Jamie, all right, strong feelings. If only she knew how to define them and what to do about them.

Valerie dropped the subject of feelings and assumed a more sympathetic stance. "We spent ten days in Barcelona and you never told me about her. Now that I think about it, I thought something was bothering you. I never saw you so preoccupied and out of sorts."

"I was," Miranda admitted.

"But when I asked you, you said nothing was wrong. I just assumed you were tired and having trouble adjusting to being off the ship."

"I was." Miranda's voice was barely audible. She rubbed her eyes.

"Look, I'm not trying to upset you. I love you. I just think you should figure out how you feel about her, especially now that she lives here." Valerie moved closer and put her arm over Miranda's shoulder. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Wasn't she hurt when you left her? She must have been."

"Please don't remind me. It's not something I'm proud of. She gave me her address and phone number and I never even tried to get in touch with her. Not once."

"Why not?"

"I don't know. I honestly don't know. I thought about it every day." Miranda rested her head on Valerie's chest.

"At Eve's party, did she say she wanted to see you?"

"She did." Miranda picked her head up and looked at Valerie. She took her sister's hand in hers. "But she also said it would be strictly casual between us. I'm sure she doesn't feel the same way about me anymore and who can blame her? She called me yesterday and she wants to get together a week from Saturday."

"Please tell me you're going." Valerie squeezed her hand.

"I'm going." The corners of Miranda's mouth lifted just a little.

"Excellent. Where are you going?"

"I'm meeting her at her apartment and she's taking me to dinner."

"Wonderful. Where are you going?"

"To one of the restaurants in the Adams Morgan section where she lives. She says it's one of her favorites."

"That sounds like fun. They have loads of good restaurants there. You should take her some flowers. Stop by the shop before you go and I'll fix you a nice fresh bouquet."

"I will. Thanks."

"I want you to have a good time and I want to hear all about it."

"I'll tell you about it, I promise. You'll never leave me alone until I do." Miranda felt better and she laughed a little for the first time since they'd started talking.

"I know I've told you this before, many times, but I'm going to say it again. You need to forget about Ellen. She's out of your life forever, thank God, and she's not worth thinking about. She's not worth ruining your life over, either. She's ruined enough of it already and you shouldn't let her ruin any more. You need to move on."

"You know what? I agree completely and I think it's time I did."

Chapter Eighteen

MIRANDA PUSHED THE buzzer next to the name "Jeffries" and once inside the downstairs door, she climbed the stairs to the third floor. With her hand poised in the air, she paused in front of Jamie's door, her heart banging away in her chest while she gathered the courage to knock. She'll think I got lost on the way up and she'll think I'm crazy if she sees how nervous I am-- crazier than she already thinks I am.

When the door swung open, Miranda lost what little composure she had managed to muster up. Jamie wore a pair of faded jeans and a long-sleeved blue chambray shirt with the cuffs rolled up a few turns. The sight of her made Miranda halt in the doorframe, unable to move. The memory of how Jamie had looked in her jeans that day in Athens, came rushing back to her and she felt her body respond all over again as if no time had passed. Her eyes met Jamie's and she wondered how Jamie had found a shirt the exact same shade of blue as her eyes--a blue suspended between sea and sky. After what seemed like forever, she tore her eyes away from Jamie's and stared at the thin sliver chain she wore around her neck.

"Well, don't just stand there, come in," Jamie said with a tinge of amusement.

Miranda practically leaped into Jamie's apartment as if someone had pushed her from behind. "Here, I brought these for you." She handed Jamie a generous bunch of fresh flowers and a white gift box tied up with a gold ribbon.

"For me? You shouldn't have." Jamie beamed.

"I wanted to." Apparently, Valerie's suggestion had been a good one, judging by the pleasure on Jamie's face and the span of her smile.

Jamie gently laid the flowers down on a table still encased in their paper wrapper and opened her gift.

Carefully, she lifted a glass vase from the box and held it up to the light, twisting it back and forth to admire the swirling patterns of red, blue, purple and green imbedded in the glass. "How pretty. Look how it reflects the light. Thank you so much."

"I'm glad you like it. A vase is the kind of thing you never have when you need it so I brought you one for the flowers in case you didn't have one. It's not the kind of thing you buy for yourself." Miranda cringed inside as she heard herself babble on. Her speech sounded stressed and forced, her vocal tones a smidgen too high. In the emergency room, she was known for having nerves of steel in the most frenzied situations and the ability to relate to all kinds of people in all kinds of tense circumstances, but in the presence of Jamie, she was reduced to an incompetent, quivering mass. Just then, she realized Jamie was talking to her.

"...so true and you're right. I don't have a vase. Come keep me company while I put these in some water." Jamie picked up the flowers and started walking.

"There's a packet of powder stapled to the wrapping. You dissolve it in the water and it helps them live longer," Miranda said as she followed her into the kitchen. For God's sake, she knows that. Doesn't everyone?

Jamie turned and smiled. "There usually is." She went to the sink, filled the vase and put the flowers in, taking great care to arrange them. "There, how do they look?"

"They look beautiful. I'm glad you like them."

"I'll never forget how beautiful they are or that they were a gift from you."

"Thanks." Miranda made a show of looking around. "This is a nice place."

"You think so? I looked at a few places, but I liked this one because it was spacious and bright and the kitchen and bathroom had just been remodeled. The landlord let me paint some of the rooms, which was nice of him. I hate it when the entire apartment is off-white. It makes me feel like I'm living inside of a shoebox."

"Well, I like the colors you chose. They're very warm and inviting."

"Thanks again." Jamie picked the vase of flowers up with both hands. "Follow me. I want to put these in my bedroom where I can see them later." Jamie led the way to her bedroom and set the vase of flowers on a round table by the window.

"I love your bedroom," Miranda said. "It feels very serene and relaxing." The room had a lingering scent in the air like a candle or some incense had recently been burned.

"That's what I was going for. It's an important room and it's important to feel good in your bedroom, don't you think?" Jamie stopped and took the time to look Miranda over carefully. "You look really nice and I noticed that you're wearing the perfume again."

"I wear it a lot." Miranda felt her face grow warm. "You look nice, too."

Jamie moved closer until she stood in front of Miranda. "You're wearing the necklace." She lifted the gold pendant from Miranda's neck and held it in her fingers. "I love it." With great care, she placed the necklace where she'd found it and then moved back a step or two, putting more distance between them.

"I love it, too. I'm assuming you didn't buy it when we were there together because you wouldn't have bought it then, would you?"

"No, you're right, I didn't. I bought the perfume when we were in Marseille together, because I had feelings for you by then, but no, not the necklace."

"So, how did you manage to get back to the shop in Athens?"

"When the ship made a stop in Athens on the next cruise, I had a split shift, so I went back to the shop and bought it. Thank God it was still there. By then, I had feelings for you and I had to buy it. I just had to."

"I've never forgotten that day in Athens, or any of the other wonderful days we spent ashore together." Miranda swallowed past the sudden lump in her throat.

"You could have fooled me."

"Jamie, I never forgot anything. I'm sorry if I made you think I had." Miranda closed her eyes, briefly. "The necklace is so special. Every time I wear it, people admire it and ask me who the figure represents, but I tell them I don't know."

"Well, you don't have to say that anymore because I asked about it in the shop and they let me talk to the artist who designed it."

"I'm so glad you did that. What did the artist say?"

"She said the figure is the Greek goddess of the sea, Amphitrite, and the story goes something like this: Poseidon, the god of the sea, fell madly in love with Amphitrite when he saw her dancing with her sisters on an island. He wanted to marry her, but she turned him down, telling him she'd rather remain a virgin. Anyway, she tried to hide from him in the far reaches of the Atlantic Ocean, but Poseidon was desperate to have her, so he sent his dolphin to look for her and when the dolphin found her, he carried her to Poseidon on his back and she consented to marry him. As a reward, Poseidon granted his dolphin a permanent place in heaven as the constellation, Delphinus."

"I like that story. It's about persistence, isn't it?"

"You mean when you want someone that bad, you should never give up?"

"Yes. I believe that," Miranda said softly.

Jamie opened her mouth as if she wanted to say something, but instead, she just stood there staring at Miranda with those dreamy blue eyes. After a few moments, she said, "So, are you ready to go? I don't know about you, but I'm getting hungry."

"I'm hungry, too. Let's go." Miranda felt convinced that she'd destroyed any feelings Jamie had once had for her. Jamie seemed detached and guarded. She no longer touched her in those little opportunistic ways, the way you do when you ache to touch someone. And Miranda couldn't find even a flicker of the fire and the passion that had once sizzled in Jamie's eyes. She reminded herself that this was what she'd wanted all along, wasn't it? So why wasn't she happy and why did it hurt so much?

"I thought we'd walk to the restaurant. It's not far and it's a nice evening. By the time we find a parking space we'll be farther away than we are now."

"That's fine with me. I like to walk."

TEN MINUTES LATER they strolled down Eighteenth Street, the main drag of one of DC's funkiest neighborhoods and the pulse of its vibrant night life. Besides being known as a hub of diversity and political activism as well as a Mecca for the arts, the Adams Morgan section boasted the largest display of expressive art in the city in the form of colorful, evocative murals painted on its twentieth century row houses and buildings.

After descending a few steps, they entered a popular café. "We're just in time for our reservation," Jamie declared as they stepped inside.

"I've been wanting to eat here. I read about it in the newspaper," Miranda told Jamie. Although the street outside had been boisterous and jam-packed with people, the inside of the restaurant felt like a peaceful oasis. In the center of the room, a large fountain washed away some of Miranda's tension with the soothing sounds of gently rippling water. "It's so nice and quiet in here."

"I know. Once you step inside, it's like you're not in Adams Morgan anymore. It tends to attract an older crowd, more like us."

"We're not that old." Miranda frowned.

"You know what I mean--mid-thirties professionals."

"I guess that is us. Have you been here a lot?"

"Just once. A friend brought me here." Jamie spoke to the hostess.

On the way to the table, Miranda speculated as to whether the friend had been a real friend or a date, but she refrained from asking. "Let's have some wine," she suggested, once they were seated. "Would you like white or red?"

"I think I'd prefer white. I might have some fish." Jamie opened her menu.

Miranda read the wine list. "They have a nice California Chardonnay."

"That's fine with me. By the way, the menu descriptions don't do justice to the food. The dishes sound ordinary, but when they come out of the kitchen, they're quite creative and absolutely delicious."

"Let me see what they have." Miranda put the wine list down and opened her menu. "I see what you mean. I think I'll have the grilled salmon."

After the waiter brought the wine and took their orders, Jamie leaned back in her chair and smiled at Miranda. "Now we can catch up. It was hard to talk at the party."

"That's for sure. You were with a date and I was in shock."

"So was I. Have you heard from anyone on the ship?"

"Lynn called me a couple of weeks ago. She's still working on the ships and plans on doing it indefinitely. Toni transferred to another ship and they lost touch after a while. Guy quit the cruising life all together. In fact, he married the Italian girl he met on our ship and took her home to Miami. I hope she likes it there."

"At least she should be used to the heat. Alicia called me before she went home for a break about six months ago. She lives in San Antonio and I flew out to see her. We had a great time. She's on the Caribbean circuit now."

"Great, if that's what she wants. Personally, I'm glad to be home."

"You and me both," Jamie said with a sigh. "Speaking of homes, tell me about yours. You told me you got a good deal. How did you get a good deal on a house in that section of DC? The houses there are very expensive and from what I hear, they don't stay on the market long, either."

"Everything's expensive here. One of the other lawyers in my brother-in law's firm owned it and he needed to sell it in a hurry, so Tommy talked him into letting me see it before he showed it to anyone else. I got it for a bargain basement price, a measly eight hundred and fifty thousand." Miranda conveyed this information with a deadpan face and then she stared at Jamie and waited until they both burst out laughing.

"Wow, what a bargain. They practically gave it to you," Jamie said once she'd caught her breath. "What's it like?"

"It's a big English arts and crafts style town home."

"Nice. Was it in good condition?"

"Basically, but I'm having some of it remodeled to suit my style." She went on to tell Jamie all about her renovation plans and then she said, "You should come and see it."

"Thanks, maybe I will...sometime."

"Now it's your turn. Tell me about your gym."

"Yeah, my gym." Jamie grinned. "That's why I moved here. It's an ideal place to open a gym, you know, because there are a lot of sedentary young professionals with money and calories to burn."

"That's cute. How did you find a space for it?"

"A real estate agent helped me. She found an industrial loft not too far from where I live. It was perfect. I won't even have to drive to work." Jamie's eyes sparkled as she told Miranda about the gym. "I can't wait until we open."

"Are you working anywhere in the meantime?"

Jamie nodded. "At a gym downtown and I'm teaching adult nutrition and exercise classes in an evening program sponsored by one of the local community colleges. George Washington University invited me to teach an evening course, but I said no, at least for now."

"You could always do that later on."

"I know. Right now, I've got too much on my plate and the first thing I need to do is focus on getting my business going. I want my gym to be special and unique."

"Unique how?"

"I'd like my members to work with trainers, so I've recruited some of the best ones I know. I'd like to offer group nutrition classes and individual counseling and I have some ideas about membership and payment options the other gyms don't offer. First of all, I need to get my name out there. I've been interviewed by the local papers and a couple of gay and lesbian publications and I've been featured in a couple of articles."

"That's good, but I know once people work with you, they'll spread the word."

"I hope you're right." Jamie sat up and leaned on the table. "This means so much to me, Miranda. I've put everything I have into this project and I borrowed a ton of money. I couldn't sleep for a week after I signed the loan papers."

"You have to take risks in order to succeed and I know you're going to succeed. I know you well enough to know that." Miranda reached across the table and took Jamie's hand in hers. With her thumb, she rubbed feather-light circles on the top. All evening she'd avoided touching her, but now she found it impossible not to.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Miranda." Jamie looked at their joined hands for a moment and then slowly reclaimed hers. "Tell me about your job. Do you like it?" She settled back in her chair, her hands tucked safely in her lap.

Miranda took a long swallow of wine before she answered. "I love it. It's a busy ER and a good teaching hospital." She told Jamie all about her work while they waited for the food to arrive and after it did, they caught up on everything that had happened since they left the cruise line. Before they knew it, two hours had hurried by.

When the waiter brought the bill, Miranda took it from him. "This is my treat."

"You don't have to do that."

"I don't have to, but I want to. Please let me."

"Okay, but only if I get to treat you the next time."

"Do you want there to be a next time?"

"It may turn out to be a mistake, but I do," Jamie answered without hesitation. "And you? Do you want to see me again?"

"Yes, I think I do," Miranda whispered.

"You think you do? What do you want, Miranda? Between us, I mean." Jamie leaned forward and put her hands on the table again.

The expression on Jamie's face made Miranda think twice about her answer. "I want to get to know you and spend time with you. I'm happy to see you again and now that I have, I can't imagine my life without you in it. What do you want?"

Jamie paused as if to consider her response and then replied, "I'd like to get to know you better, too, but right now, I don't know what I want us to be to each other. One thing I do know for sure, though. I never want to be hurt by you again." Jamie looked down, her face somber. "I don't think I could take it."

"Jamie...I want you to know that I never wanted to hurt you then and I don't want to hurt you now. You have to believe me. I couldn't handle what was happening between us. I..." Miranda covered Jamie's hand where it rested on the table. "I didn't know what to do. It was all so fast...all so much."

"I know. You were scared. Believe it or not, so was I, but when I feel that much about someone, it's hard to ignore and even harder to pass up."

"Can't we just forget about it and start over? See where it takes us?"

Jamie didn't answer right away. She divided what wine was left between the two of them and said, "I can't promise you anything. I'm not sure how I feel about you, anymore." Jamie pulled her hand out from under Miranda's and looked away. "But, I guess I'm willing to start over if you are."

"I appreciate your honesty and I'm more than willing, Jamie. In fact, I'd like that very much." Miranda still found it hard to believe that Jamie was right there in front of her, especially since she'd resigned herself to the fact that she'd never see her again. Parts of her old self, long buried, were coming alive again and she felt a stirring of something deep inside. She wasn't sure what it was, but she knew it felt damned good.

Chapter Nineteen

MIRANDA KICKED OFF her shoes and collapsed in a heap on the sofa. It had been quite a day. She'd hardly had a chance to drink all of her morning Starbucks and finish rounds with the staff when the emergency room erupted into a non-stop roller coaster ride of madness and mayhem. Just when it looked as if things might slow down a little, rescue brought in a toddler who had died on the way to the hospital. He had cigarette burns on his genitals and cuts and bruises all over his body, all visible evidence of a horrifying history of abuse. The beating had been so severe that he'd bled into his abdomen and although they'd made a heroic effort they were never able to revive him. By the time Miranda left the hospital she felt physically drained, emotionally depleted and sick in her soul.

She let her head fall back and closed her eyes, enjoying the tranquility of her home. If she could somehow manage to erase the day from her thoughts and rest long enough to regain some energy, she'd fix herself something to eat and then maybe soak in a hot tub to wash off the stench of death and human suffering. If she stayed in the tub long enough, she might even manage to dissolve the traces of abuse and cruelty that clung to her like some sort of greasy stain.

Some time later, Miranda jolted upright, disoriented until she realized she'd drifted off to sleep. The first thoughts to enter her mind were of Jamie--where she might be and what she might be doing. Since they'd gone out to dinner, thoughts of Jamie had drifted into her consciousness day and night no matter where she'd been or what she'd been doing. Once the cobwebs in her head cleared, she reached for the phone and punched in her sister's number. She'd promised to call days ago and if she failed to do so, she'd hear about it later on. Valerie answered on the third ring.

"Hi, Val, it's me. I just got home."

"Wow, it's late. You must have had a busy day."

"I had a wicked day and I'm wicked tired."

"Did you eat yet?"

"No, I fell asleep on the sofa. I don't feel much like eating."

"Don't go without eating, Miranda. It's not good for you."

"I know, I know. I'll get something later."

"So work was bad, huh? Anything specific happen or was it just another bad day?"

"You name it, it happened and it went on non-stop all day." Miranda groaned. "As a matter of fact, the whole week's been crazy." Valerie didn't need to hear about the tiny dead body of a defenseless child whose life had been snuffed out by people who couldn't find a healthier outlet for their rage. "That's why I haven't had a chance to call you."

"Well, at least you're home now and you can relax and forget about all of it. What are you planning on doing the rest of the evening?"

"Nothing. I promised you I'd call so I did, but if you don't mind, I'm going to get off the phone. I want to take a hot bath and crawl into bed. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

"Wait, wait, wait. Not so fast. You're not hanging up until you tell me about your date with Jamie. You promised to call me days ago and now it's Thursday and this is the first time I've heard from you. I left two messages and you didn't even call me back."

"I'm sorry, I've been busy and it wasn't really a date."

"What?" Valerie sounded confused.

"With Jamie, it wasn't a date."

"Okay, so whatever it was, how did it go?"

"It was fine. We went to dinner, we talked, and we had a wonderful time. It felt great to get out. There, are you satisfied?"

"Smartass. How was it? Seeing her alone after all this time?"

"Great. It was as if no time had passed and nothing had changed between us." Except for the fact that she's no longer in love with me.

"That's good. Did she like the flowers? I gave you the best ones I had."

"She loved the flowers and the vase. Thanks for suggesting it."

"See, I told you she would. Is she still in love with you?"

"Valerie, you're unbelievable." Miranda laughed in spite of her extreme level of fatigue. "She didn't say either way, although, after the way I treated her, I doubt very much that she is. Don't be shy, Valerie. Just ask me anything you want to know. God forbid I should be entitled to have any secrets from you."

"That's the way it should be between sisters. Not that you don't have secrets. I know you haven't told me the whole truth about your feelings for Jamie." Valerie's end of the line went dead silent as if she were letting her statement sink in.

"Okay, detective Fuller, I confess I've been withholding information from you. The truth is, I wasn't at work today or all week, in fact. I never called you because after our date we went straight to her bed and we've been indulging in mad passionate sex ever since. You heard me, sex. In fact, I just came home to pack some things and hurry back to our bed of carnal bliss, so be good enough not to aggravate me any further with your annoying questions."

"You are one hilarious person. Ha, ha, ha." Valerie faked a belly laugh. "Would that it were true. Now, what really happened?"

"All right, you win. Here's the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God. Jamie was friendly and fun to be with, just as she always has been and she didn't say or do one thing to indicate that she still has feelings for me. To be perfectly honest, I have absolutely no clue how she feels. We decided to continue to see each other and see where it leads us. That's it."

"Well, that's something, at least. You like her then, huh?"

"I've always liked her."

"I know, but did you make plans to get together again? Has she called?"

"No, I haven't heard from her."

"Why don't you call her? Does she have to make all the moves?"

"Give me a break. No, she doesn't. I was planning on calling her tomorrow. I'm too tired to talk to her tonight and I don't want to sound irritable or disagreeable because that's how I feel right about now. That having been said, why do you keep forcing me to stay on the phone and carry on a conversation with you?"

"Well, pardon me. I don't know what to say to that."

"What? No biting retort? You disappoint me, Sis."

"Just ask her out, Miranda. Take her somewhere nice or invite her to your house for dinner. Tell her you want her to see your new kitchen."

Miranda couldn't help but laugh at that one. "I sincerely doubt that she'd be interested in seeing my kitchen, Val. I don't even know if she cooks. Hell, I rarely do. And furthermore, I know how to ask someone out, thank you very much. Honestly, you can be such a royal pain in the ass."

"What you meant to say is a lovable royal pain in the ass," Valerie corrected. "I was merely trying to help because I thought you'd forgotten how to socialize after being alone all this time."

"You are amusing, I'll grant you that." Miranda laughed again in spite of herself. "Trust me, I haven't forgotten a thing and just for the record, there are some things about girlfriends and dating that I'd rather forget."

"I hear you. Now, try to keep in mind that she's not Ellen and don't make her pay for the things Ellen did. Anyway, when you think the time is right, I'll have her over here for dinner so Tommy and I can get to know her."

"She has to spend time with my family already? Isn't that a bit premature? Honestly, Val, if I didn't love you so much, I'd have to come over there and kill you."

"You'd better be careful what you say over the phone."

"Why, are you recording this?"

"No, but you never know when you might end up being on one of those true crime shows on television. When someone gets murdered, they always suspect the family members first. Once they clear Tommy, they'll be looking at you."

"Well then, I won't kill you, but when I come over for dinner tomorrow evening, I'm going to beat the crap out of you until you're hanging on by a thread," Miranda teased.

"You don't scare me, Doctor."

"Apparently, I don't scare anybody."

"No, but someone scares you." Valerie paused for effect and then she said, "So, we'll see you tomorrow, right? I don't know if I'm going to cook or just bring something home with me. It depends on how my day goes."

"Anything will be fine." Miranda deliberately ignored her sister's comment.

"Okay. Hope you have a better day at work tomorrow."

"You and me both. See you tomorrow then."

"Get some rest. I love you. You know I'm just jerking your chain, don't you?"

"Yes and you know I love you, too, right? So goodnight." Miranda hung up, sighing and laughing at the same time. She really loved her sister in spite of her curiosity and her penchant for speaking the truth, whether or not anyone wanted or needed to hear it. The truth was, more often than not, her observations were disturbingly accurate.

Jamie did scare her, as much as she ever had, but her fears notwithstanding, Miranda could no longer find any valid reasons to avoid her. She didn't want to. Jamie already meant too much to her and as far as she knew, only one question remained. What in God's name was she going to do about Jamie Jeffries?

Chapter Twenty

THE NEXT DAY the emergency room slowed to a steady but manageable pace and, for a change, Miranda got home from work on time. After a refreshing shower, she got dressed and sat on the edge of her bed to call Jamie. She wanted to talk to her before she left to go to Valerie's for dinner and before she lost her nerve once again. The phone rang eight or nine times before Jamie picked it up.

"Jamie, it's Miranda." One more ring and Miranda would have hung up.

"Miranda, thank God. I don't know what to do. I'm so sick."

"Jamie? What's the matter?" Jamie's voice, nothing more than a croaking whisper, sounded distant and distorted and if Jamie hadn't said her name, Miranda would have thought she'd made a mistake and called the wrong number.

"I feel horrible. Burning up, ache all over...dizzy. It's bad." Jamie labored to speak. "I can't work...can't get out of bed."

"Are you alone?"

"Uh, huh." Jamie started to cry. "I'm sorry, I..."

"I'm coming right over."

"No, no, you don't have to." Jamie protested.

"I want to and don't argue with me because I'm coming and that's that. I'll be there as soon as I can. Stay in bed and don't try to do anything until I get there." It took Miranda all of ten minutes to call her sister, tie up any loose ends and shut the door behind her.

CONSIDERING THE HEAVY volume of Friday evening traffic and the fact that she'd stopped to pick up some food and beverages at a grocery store, Miranda arrived at Jamie's place a lot sooner than she thought she would. She even found a parking place nearby. It took a while for Jamie to buzz her in and when she got upstairs, she found the apartment door ajar. After she put everything away, she grabbed her medical bag and went into Jamie's bedroom where she found her curled up in bed, her face flushed, her eyes red, her hair a tangled mess.

Jamie's eyes flooded with tears the instant she saw Miranda. They flowed freely in hot streams down her feverish cheeks. "You didn't have to come." She clutched at Miranda's sleeve, pulling her down to sit on the bed next to her.

"Shh, don't cry. I'm here now." Miranda sat on the bed and pressed her cool hand on Jamie's hot forehead before tenderly brushing her damp hair away from her face. Without thinking, she laid her palm against Jamie's cheek and swept the hot tears away with her thumb. She didn't need a thermometer to tell her that Jamie had a raging fever. "How long have you been this sick?"

"Since yesterday afternoon."

"Why didn't you call me?" I would have come. I would have been here.

"Didn't know I could... you're so busy." Jamie closed her eyes.

"I'm never too busy for you. Now, don't try to talk so much." Miranda reached for her medical bag, got a digital thermometer out, and placed it under Jamie's tongue. "Let's see how hot you are." Almost immediately, it beeped. "Uh, huh, just as I thought, 103.2."

"You make a lot of house calls?"

"You're my first, now hush. You've got quite a fever."

Jamie winced and closed her eyes. "Got a bad headache, too."

"That's because of the fever. Did you call your doctor?"

Jamie shook her head. "Don't have one. I kept meaning to, but..."

"I know how that goes. You put it off and then when there's a problem, you don't have one. Well, I promised you on the ship I'd take care of you if you ever got sick, so I guess I'll be your doctor, at least for now."

Jamie smiled faintly. "I like a woman who keeps her promises."

Miranda smiled. "So do I. Did you take anything for the fever?"

"No, didn't know what to do."

"I brought some Tylenol. How's your stomach feel? Any nausea?"

"No, it's okay." Jamie's eyelids kept drooping and her dry cracked lips stuck together as she tried to talk. "I haven't eaten much."

"From the looks of it, you haven't had much to drink either. I'm not concerned about you eating but you need fluids and we need to get your temperature down. You'll feel a lot better when we do." Miranda pulled a stethoscope out of her bag. "Let me listen to your lungs." She put her hand on Jamie's shoulder and turned her toward her to listen to the back of her chest and then she helped her onto her back again to listen to the front.

She felt Jamie's eyes on her the whole time.

Jamie covered her mouth with her hand and turned her head away from Miranda. "My breath is bad. I'm disgusting. I feel so dirty... too sick to wash."

"Don't worry about it. You have some secretions in your upper airways but your lungs are clear. No signs of pneumonia." Miranda would have considered sending Jamie to the hospital if she'd suspected she had pneumonia, especially since she was alone and had no one to take care of her.

"I hate for you to see me like this."

"Don't worry about it. You're very sick. Besides, I already know what you look like." Miranda reached into her bag and grabbed her otoscope. "Let me examine your ears." She had Jamie turn her head back and forth as she carefully inspected each one. "Okay, they look good. No signs of infection."

"That's good, huh?"

"That's very good. I know it's frightening to be this sick, but try not to worry, okay?" Miranda took a penlight and a tongue blade out of her bag. "Now, let me see that throat. Open up and say aaaah." Miranda peered inside. "It's really inflamed in there."

"It hurts."

It troubled Miranda to see Jamie so fragile and vulnerable. How she longed to soothe her, comfort her in some way. Again, she stroked Jamie's face and brushed her hair back from her forehead. "I've seen you look a whole lot better."

"You sure look good to me, Doctor." Jamie reached up and took Miranda's hand in hers. She held it tightly and pressed it against her cheek. "What do I have, the plague?"

Miranda laughed, softly. "No, silly, but I do think you have the flu. We've treated a lot of this all week in the ER." She continued to hold Jamie's hand, touched by her need and needing to touch her. As sick as Jamie was, it still felt so good to touch her. "God, I hate to see you like this even though I know you'll be all right."

"That's hard to believe, right now. Why did you call me?"

"I was going to ask you to go out with me."

"You wanted to go out with me?" Jamie closed her eyes and smiled. "When?"

"I don't know. That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I thought maybe I'd take you out to dinner tomorrow evening. Anyway, it's out of the question, now."

"Damn...hate to miss that." Jamie struggled to focus.

"We'll go out as soon as you're better."

"Promise?" Jamie asked, a glimmer of light shining in her eyes.

"I promise."

"I wanted you to call me, so much. I thought you might not."

"Why would you think that? I mean, why would you think that now?"

"I thought after we went out...I thought you might run away again."

"No way. I wanted to see you again."

"That makes me happy."

"I'm really pleased I've done something to make you happy for a change. Now, let's see what we can do to make you more comfortable."

"Can you help me...to the bathroom? I need to wash and brush my teeth." Jamie let go of Miranda's hand and tried to sit up.

Miranda held her back. "Wait, not so fast. You're not going to last long so we need to have a plan. You stay here while I fill the tub and get everything ready and then I'll help you with the rest. A bath might bring your fever down and I know it'll make you feel better."

"Wonderful." Jamie moaned as she lay back down.

"Where do you keep your underwear and clean pajamas? I'll take them in there with me." Jamie told her where to find them and after Miranda had a pair of clean panties and pajamas tucked under her arm, she said, "Stay put. I won't be long."

In the bathroom, Miranda filled the tub with hot water, adding a handful of bath salts she discovered on a shelf. She also found a new bar of herbal soap under the sink and clean towels on the towel bar. Satisfied that things were ready, she went to get Jamie.

"Okay, try to sit up." She stood by Jamie's bed and pulled the covers down.

Jamie sat up in bed, hanging onto Miranda's arm and steadying herself with her other hand. "Phew...dizzy." She sat for a minute, just breathing.

"Here, lean on me and take it slow." Miranda put her arm around Jamie's waist and helped her stand on her wobbly legs. "Put your arm around my shoulder." Step by step, they made their way to the bathroom.

Jamie paused outside the door. "Can you wait out here for a minute? I have to use the toilet first before I do anything else. "

"Sure. Will you be all right?"

"I hope so. I'll hang on and take it slow."

"Okay. Leave the door open a little and let me know when you're done." Miranda waited until Jamie finished and when she was summoned, she found Jamie standing at the sink, holding on with one hand while she brushed her teeth with the other. "I'm glad to see you're still standing."

"Barely. I look like death warmed over." Jamie scowled at her reflection in the mirror. "Maybe worse."

"Do yourself a favor and don't look." She waited while Jamie rinsed with mouthwash before she asked the unavoidable question, "Do you think you can get undressed without any help from me?"

"I'm not sure. Better stay close, just in case."

"I think I'd better. I'll turn around until you're in the tub." Miranda put the toilet seat lid down and sat with her back facing Jamie. "I promise I won't look."

"Don't care if you do." Jamie removed her pajamas and panties and threw them into a pile on the floor. Somehow, she got herself into the tub, groaning with pleasure as she submerged her body into the hot water. "I'm in. Feels so good."

"Why don't you let me help you get washed? I know you're too sick to wash your own hair. I don't mind, honestly I don't."

"Okay." Jamie was too weak and too sick to object.

Miranda knelt beside the tub and wet Jamie's hair with the sprayer attachment. Try as she might, she failed to keep her eyes from taking in the breathtaking beauty of Jamie's body, the swell of her soft breasts, her dark pink nipples bobbing just below the water line, her flat abdomen, her toned thighs and the dark triangle of hair at the top of her legs. Just looking at Jamie's body made Miranda incredibly aroused. She's so beautiful. Here she is, sick as can be, and here I am, getting turned on.

With trembling hands, she shampooed Jamie's hair and rinsed it, trying not to look anywhere else.

"That feels so good."

"Want me to wash it a second time?"

"Please." Jamie shut her eyes.

Miranda washed Jamie's hair a second time, relieved to see shampoo bubbles partially covering Jamie's body. "You finish washing yourself and soak for a minute. I'll wait over here." Miranda sat on the toilet seat, discreetly facing in another direction. It felt intrusive to sit there while Jamie did something so personal, so she said, "Do you want me to put clean sheets on your bed while you do that?"

Jamie shook her head. "No, I did that the day before yesterday."

"All right. I'll go fluff your pillows and straighten the bed up and then I'll come back for you. Wait for me. Don't try to get out on your own." As soon as Miranda entered the hallway, she faced the wall, one hand stretched out above her head. She pressed her forehead against the blessed coolness of the wall and pulled in a few ragged breaths to steady herself against the constant blitz of desire that attacked without mercy. She was in trouble, big trouble, and she had no idea what she was going to do. It took her a full minute before she felt able to go into Jamie's bedroom and tackle the bed.

Chapter Twenty-One

"ALL DONE?" MIRANDA asked when she returned to the bathroom. Jamie was soaking in the tub, her head resting against the back of it.

"More like done in." Jamie turned her head and smiled weakly.

"Okay, let's get you out of there," Miranda said, knowing Jamie was too weak to get out on her own. She held a towel open and waited while Jamie stood up. "Hang onto my shoulders." The instant Jamie's feet hit the floor Miranda wrapped her in the towel and sat her on the toilet seat. Then she handed her another towel. "Here, for your hair."

"Thanks. I can dry myself."

While Jamie did that, Miranda got Jamie's underwear and pajamas and handed them to her. "Can you get these on by yourself?"

"I think so. Stay here in case I need your help."

"Okay." Miranda turned her head to the side although she wanted to feast her eyes on Jamie's beautiful body until she'd had her fill. More than that, she had to fight the urge to take off her own clothes and hold Jamie's naked body against her own.

"You can look now. I'm decent." Jamie stood up and rested her hands on Miranda's shoulders. She looked into her eyes. "Thank you so much. I can't think of anyone who would have done this for me."

"It's all right, Jamie. I'm glad I called you. I wouldn't have known how sick you were and I wouldn't have been able to stand it if I found out that you'd been this sick and that you'd been here all alone and I didn't know." She slipped her arm around Jamie's waist. "Come on, let's get you back to bed."

Jamie groaned and settled into the sheets as soon as she climbed into bed. "It feels so good to be clean and back in this bed." She reached for the covers, her body shivering, her teeth chattering. "I felt warm when I was in the tub, but now I'm freezing."

"You're cold because of your fever." Miranda got a pair of soft cotton socks from the dresser and put them on Jamie's feet and then she got an extra blanket from the closet and spread it on top of the quilt. "There, that should help. Before you drift off to sleep, I want you to take some Tylenol and drink some fluids. I also think you should eat some toast or crackers with the pills so they won't upset your stomach. Do you think you could?"

"Yeah, some toast, maybe. I have bread--and butter too."

Miranda went out to the kitchen and came back a few minutes later with two pieces of warm buttered toast and a glass of fruit flavored vitamin water on ice.

Jamie downed the pills, drank most of the water and ate two pieces of toast before she fell back on the pillows with a sigh. "That water tasted good. I didn't realize how dry I was. Did you buy that for me?"

"I stopped at the store on the way over. I wasn't sure if you had anything."

"That was sweet of you." Jamie smiled faintly, her eyelids heavy.

Miranda sat on the bed by Jamie's side and felt her forehead. "You need to sleep."

"Don't go away." Jamie grabbed Miranda's arm. "Please don't leave me."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here."

"Good." Jamie let her eyes fall shut and before long, her limp hand lost its grip on Miranda's arm and fell onto the bed. Miranda sat there for a while and watched Jamie sleep, thinking she looked like an angel. Lightly, so as not to wake her, Miranda stroked her flushed cheek and touched her hair.

Satisfied Jamie was sound asleep, Miranda went to get the turkey sandwich and bottle of ice tea she'd bought for herself at the store. On the way to Jamie's she'd already made up her mind to stay all night. She knew she'd never be able to sleep if she left her alone and she also knew she'd worry about her the entire night.

She laid her sandwich and drink down and went to examine the contents of a large bookcase. The eclectic collection of interesting books she found there pleased her greatly and she smiled broadly when she discovered a number of lesbian romance novels on the two bottom shelves. Miranda considered them one of her private diversions and she was pleased to see that Jamie liked them, too. They beat the hell out of the medical journals she had to read to keep up with her profession. Seeing one by one of her favorite authors that she hadn't read, Miranda grabbed it and sunk into the chair by the window. As she ate, she started turning the pages.

About half way through the story, just when things were beginning to heat up between the two main characters, her head began to bob and at some point she dropped the book in her lap and it fell on the floor. After a good stretch, she took her plate and glass out to the kitchen and made a trip to the bathroom. Back in the bedroom, she retrieved her book and climbed onto the bed next to Jamie. Feeling a bit revived, she propped a couple of pillows behind her, opened the book and began to read.

The next time she opened her eyes, the soft light streaming in through the shades on the windows signaled her that it was early morning. To her surprise, she found herself curled up against Jamie's back, her arm draped over Jamie's waist. Concerned that she might wake her sleeping companion, Miranda carefully removed her arm and slid off the bed. Before she did anything else, she'd go into the bathroom and freshen up and then she'd put something together for breakfast.

"Good morning, Doctor." Jamie's eyes were open and she smiled when Miranda came back into the bedroom.

"Hi there. How's my favorite patient this morning?" Miranda set a plate of scrambled eggs and buttered toast and a cup of hot tea on the bedside table.

"Not great, but better--a little, I think."

"Good. I made you some breakfast. I hope you like tea." Miranda arranged a couple of pillows behind Jamie's back and helped her to a sitting position.

"I do. Did you eat already?"

Miranda nodded and handed her the plate of food. "You work on that and I'll go get my tea. Be right back."

Miranda sat in the chair, sipping her tea while Jamie ate. As soon as Jamie placed her almost empty plate on the bedside table, Miranda came over, sat next to her and felt her forehead with the back of her hand. "You don't feel like you have a fever right now."

"Your hand is so cool." Jamie took Miranda's hand in hers and pressed the palm to her cheek. "You slept next to me all night, didn't you? I felt you holding me."

Miranda nodded again. "I wanted to keep an eye on you so I got on top of the bed to read and the next thing I knew, it was morning. I must have been tired." Miranda hoped she wasn't blushing. "I don't know how I ended up against you. I hope you didn't mind."

"Mind? I don't mind. I used to want to be in bed with you, remember? Of course, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind at the time." Jamie kept Miranda's hand pressed to her face the whole time they spoke to each other.

"Is that so?" I used to want to be. Miranda noted Jamie's exact words, thinking they pretty much indicated that Jamie's attraction for her had long since faded away. "Well, I hate to break it to you, but we both slept through the whole thing."

"That's too bad." Jamie winked. "Hey...aren't you worried you'll catch this flu thing I have? Being so close to me and all?"

"Didn't you know that doctors are immune?"

"I know they'd like to think they are."

"How do you think they got through all the plagues and epidemics throughout history and still survived? Anyway, I had a flu shot in the fall, so let's hope it covers the strain you have and if it doesn't, then maybe I'll just get lucky."

"I hope you do, because I wouldn't wish this on anyone, especially you." Jamie smiled but then her face looked serious. "Do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"No, go ahead."

"Am I keeping you from something or somebody important? Having you here made me feel so comforted and cared for, but I wouldn't want to take advantage of you."

"You didn't. I had plans to go to my sister's for dinner, that's all. I go there every Friday night unless I'm on call. I called her before I came over here and explained."

"I wouldn't want to ask too much of you. I know you don't..."

Miranda touched Jamie's lips with the tips of two fingers. "Jamie, please don't. I chose to be here. I wanted to be here. I wouldn't say it if it weren't true."

"I believe you." Jamie looked at Miranda and then she started to wiggle and push the covers down. "I need to brush my teeth and I have to pee."

"Can you get there on your own?" Miranda moved so Jamie could get out of bed.

"I think so." Jamie sat up. "Come running if you hear me hit the floor."

"Don't even say such a thing."

Miranda took the dishes out to the kitchen and washed them and when she got back, Jamie was safely back in bed. Her cheeks were rose-tinted and she looked as if the trip to the bathroom had sapped her of any energy she'd gained from a good night's sleep.

"I think your temperature is up again." Miranda handed Jamie a bottle of spring water and another dose of Tylenol. "Here, take these and drink as much of the water as you can. You should try to go back to sleep. It's the best thing for you."

"There's not much else I can do. Sit down here and talk to me for a little while." Jamie patted the edge of the bed, inviting Miranda to sit by her side, which she did. "You've been wonderful to me. I'm not used to being taken care of."

"When I was young, my mother used to spread that smelly Vicks vapor rub all over my chest when I had a cold. You know the one. She'd cover my chest with an old square of flannel that she'd pin to the inside of my pajamas. To this day, I remember that smell, but most of all, I remember how loved and cared for I felt. She'd make a big production of tucking me in and then she'd press her cool lips against my forehead. She swore she could tell if I had a fever that way and she was usually right. My mother was a kind and gentle woman. Still is, I should say."

"What a lovely story. Shouldn't you check my forehead?" Jamie's eyes shimmered.

Miranda lowered her head and pressed her lips to Jamie's hot forehead, keeping them there just a little longer than necessary. Jamie's request had almost made her cry and for some reason, her emotions were running wild and getting away from her and she couldn't stop them. She sat up again and rested her hand on Jamie's forearm. "Tell me what your mother used to do for you when you were sick?"

"My mother died when I was five." A single tear escaped and trickled down Jamie's cheek. "She died in a car accident. I was in the car, too, but I wasn't hurt."

"God, I'm so sorry." Miranda took Jamie's hand and intertwined their fingers. She raised their hands to her lips and kissed Jamie's fingers.

"It's all right. I can't really remember her too well. When I was younger, I had some clear memories of her, but they've all faded away. For some crazy reason, though, I still remember how soft she was and how nice she smelled. Weird, huh?"

"Not at all. It's a sweet memory and you're sweet. What about your father?"

"I never knew my father. They were just high school kids and they weren't really together or anything. I guess I was a mistake."

"No, not you. You could never be a mistake." Miranda kissed Jamie's hand again.

"That's what I used to think when I was younger."

"Who raised you then?"

"My mother's older sister, Marie. She rescued me from foster care. She was kind and she did a good job raising me, but she wasn't all that affectionate or nurturing. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I didn't have it so bad."

"Where does your aunt live now?"

"She died of breast cancer about five years ago."

"I'm sorry again. Do you have any other family?"

"Not that I know of. I guess I'm pretty much alone in the world."

"I didn't know that. We never talked about family."

"No we didn't. You mentioned your mother. What about your father?"

"Both my parents are alive and doing quite well. They're still married and they still live in North Carolina, near Raleigh." It had never entered Miranda's mind that Jamie might not have had any family. She fought an overwhelming urge to lie down next to Jamie on the bed and hold her. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath.

"Are you all right?" Jamie asked.

Miranda could only nod. "I..." Miranda opened her eyes and met Jamie's. "I didn't know you were so alone in the world. Those things I said about you..." Tears filled her eyes. "If I could only take them back. You don't know how much I wish I could." She gasped, no longer able to hold back the tears.

"Miranda, don't. Please don't. That's all behind us now."

A sob escaped as Miranda asked, "Are you sure?"

"Definitely." Jamie sat up and wrapped her arms around Miranda, holding her as close as their respective positions would allow. "Please don't cry," she whispered, her hot cheek molded to Miranda's cool one. "Just breathe with me."

Miranda wasn't sure whose heart was pounding harder or which of them was to blame for the nearly imperceptible trembling of their joined bodies. Jamie's soft breasts pressed against hers, and Miranda absorbed the heat of her feverish body. She felt a kind of energy flowing between them and something else, something far more powerful. It reached inside and ripped her apart, leaving her exposed, bleeding and stripped of any pretense of control. Having no other choice, she wept in Jamie's arms.

"Don't, please don't." With one hand, Jamie held her close and with the other, she rubbed Miranda's back as she rocked her gently. "Shh, it's all right." They clung to each other and when Miranda stopped crying, Jamie let her go. "This isn't just about my mother, is it?" she asked.

Miranda grabbed a tissue from the bedside table, blew her nose and dried her eyes. "No, not entirely. Some of it, but not all of it. To tell you the truth, I'm not sure what it's about. What happened to you touched something inside of me. It's been so long since..." Miranda looked away. "You were so young when you lost your mother."

Jamie eased herself back onto the pillow. "Too young, but I'm okay with it, now. I have a few pictures of her. There's one over there on my dresser in the silver frame."

"I wondered who that was. She was very pretty."

"She sure was. My aunt told me a lot of stories about when they were young and all of that. My mother was smart, she had a good sense of humor and she loved to have fun. My aunt also told me my mother adored me."

"Of course she did." Miranda met her eyes again. "She loved you." Who wouldn't?

"I know that now. I used to think I did something wrong and that was why God took her from me. In high school, I got depressed and my grades started to go down the tubes. It got so I refused to leave my room. My aunt took me to a therapist who helped me work through my feelings and talking to her helped me a lot."

"You seem pretty together to me and I think you're probably a lot like your mother." Pretty and smart and fun and loving.

"Thanks, I suppose I'm well-adjusted, compared to some people."

"Compared to most people I know. I think you're pretty special."

"Do you?" Jamie paused. "I feel the same way about you, Doctor."

"I'm glad." Miranda smiled and blew her nose again. "Listen, I need to go home for a while. I have some things I have to take care of. Why don't you try to get some more sleep? I want you to drink as much water as you can and if you feel hot again in three or four hours, take three more Tylenol. I'll put everything by your bed so you can reach it."

"Okay."

Seeing the sadness in Jamie's eyes and understanding that Jamie didn't want her to go and that she wouldn't ask her for anything, Miranda said, "I'd like to come back later if that's okay with you? I don't want you here alone and I don't want to be home alone either. All I'll do is worry about you and wonder how you are."

"You have no idea how much I want you here." Jamie's eyes were watery all over again. "I know, don't say it. I'm pathetic."

"We both are, I'm afraid." Miranda got up and gathered her things. "I'll pick up dinner for us and I'll help you take another bath later, if you need me to."

"That sounds like a perfect plan to me. The only thing that would make it more perfect is if I felt better. Take my keys from the dresser, so you can let yourself back in." Jamie pulled the covers up and turned onto her side.

Miranda grabbed the keys and slid them into her jeans pocket. "Call me if you need me. I left my cell phone number on the dresser so you wouldn't have to go looking for it." Miranda came over and stood next to the bed. "See you later, okay?"

"Okay. I'll be here."

Chapter Twenty-Two

JUST AFTER SIX that evening, Miranda returned to Jamie's apartment, put away the food and groceries she'd brought with her and went into the bedroom to check on her patient. Jamie was on her side in the bed, right where Miranda had left her. "Jamie? It's me," she said, shaking Jamie's shoulder gently, so as not to alarm her.

Jamie turned over, blinked and rubbed her eyes. "Hi, Doc."

"Hi to you." Miranda touched her forehead, thinking how good it was to see her. "You feel much cooler. How are you feeling in general?"

"I feel better when my temperature is down but overall, I still feel pretty lousy. I still have a headache off and on and a lot of body aches. I slept all day except for once when I went to the bathroom and took more medicine. I would never have believed I could sleep this much."

"You need to. You may not feel it, but you look a little better to me."

"How about you? Are you okay?" Jamie asked.

"I'm fine," Miranda answered, knowing why Jamie had asked.

"Good. Did you do everything you needed to do?"

"Yeah, I did my laundry, paid some bills, got groceries...you know, the usual stuff."

For a minute, Miranda just searched the contents of Jamie's eyes, looking for clues, for answers, for anything that would ease her longing.

"I'm really glad you're here." Jamie started to get out of bed. "I think I feel good enough to take a shower by myself. Why don't I do that now and get it done with?"

"Sure, go ahead, but give me a yell if you need help. While you're doing that, I'll get our dinner ready. We're having homemade chicken soup and fresh baked rolls and later on, we'll have apple crisp and vanilla ice cream for dessert."

"Mmm, that sounds great. Did you make the soup?"

"I'm afraid not. I bought everything on my way over here. It's all from my favorite gourmet market, though, so it'll be good."

"Don't they call chicken soup Jewish penicillin?"

"They do and don't knock it, it works. It's just what you need."

"Hey, I'm for anything that will make me feel better. Anything."

"I also picked up a couple of movies. One's a new lesbian film and the other one's a new release I've been wanting to see. I didn't know if you would feel good enough to watch them, but it will give me something to do if you fall asleep on me." She showed Jamie the DVD cases.

"They both look good. I haven't seen either one." Jamie went to the dresser and picked out a change of underwear. "If it weren't for the way I feel, I'd have to say this is my idea of a perfect Saturday night."

"I agree." Miranda put the movies next to the television.

"It feels good to get out of that bed. I think I'd like to sit up for a while and eat in the kitchen. You don't mind if I eat in my pajamas, do you?"

"Well, I don't know. I guess we can make an exception this once. You join me in the kitchen when you're done. I should have everything ready by then."

About an hour later, after they'd finished dinner, they returned to the bedroom. Jamie got into bed and Miranda put the lesbian film in the DVD player and kicked her shoes off. "Mind if I get up on the bed next to you? I'll stay on top of the covers."

"If I were you, I wouldn't ask such a loaded question. You might not like the answer." Jamie grinned. "I'm completely aware that if I weren't sick, we'd never be on this bed together. You're only doing it because you know you're safe."

"Am I safe? That's too bad." Miranda teased as she hopped onto the bed with the remote in her hand. "It's not going to be easy for me to be on the bed next to you, you know. You're pretty hot. Too bad it's only because you have a raging fever."

"Just what I need, a funny doctor. Just start the movie, will you, and please do not get insulted if I fall asleep during it. I'm fading fast."

"You sleep anytime you need to. I'm just happy to be here." The women in the movie were appealing and when their growing attraction culminated in a passionate love scene, Miranda felt sexually stimulated. Being this close to someone she was attracted to only served to intensify her reaction. Jamie had stayed awake for the entire movie, although she gave no indication that it had affected her in the same way. Their bodies rested no more than an inch or two apart at any given point, an arrangement that was becoming intolerable to Miranda. Searching for some relief, she moved away a little, hoping Jamie wouldn't notice.

Before the next movie, Miranda went into the kitchen to get their dessert, hoping the activity would help her shake off some of the nagging desire. After they finished eating, she cleared the dishes and went back into the bedroom to watch the second movie.

"How are you holding up, Jamie?" Miranda climbed up onto the bed.

"I feel exhausted." Jamie reached out, rested her hand on Miranda's arm and looked at her with red, weepy eyes. "Thanks for the food and for everything you've done for me. Why don't you go home and get some rest. I've taken up enough of your time."

"I don't want to leave you." Miranda hesitated, the admission not easy for her. "And I don't want to be alone. Can I stay here with you tonight?"

"Sure. Stay as long as you want. God knows, I love having you here. If I'm sleeping and you change your mind, just go. You don't have to wake me."

"I won't change my mind." Going home might have been the wisest thing to do, but Miranda had compelling reasons other than her concern for Jamie that drove her to stay. She wanted to lie in bed next to Jamie. She wanted to touch her and she wanted to feel alive, the way being close to Jamie made her feel.

During the second movie, Jamie started to drift in and out and about half way through it, she turned over on her side away from Miranda and fell asleep. Near the end of the film, Miranda fought to keep her eyes open and as soon as the credits starting rolling, she turned off the television and the light and fell asleep almost instantly.

In the middle of the night, Miranda woke up to find that she'd curled her body against Jamie's warm back, her arm over the top of the covers somewhere between Jamie's chest and her waist. Embarrassed to find herself in this position once again, she lifted her arm and tried to move away without disturbing Jamie. Why do I keep doing this?

"What's the matter?" Jamie murmured.

Miranda held still. "I woke up and I was holding you. I didn't know I was doing it. I must have been sleeping." Miranda began to pull away. "I'm sorry."

Jamie reached behind her and grabbed Miranda's arm, holding her so she couldn't pull away. "Don't go. Stay here, please." She glanced back at Miranda. "Please get under the covers and hold me. I want to be close to you. I promise I won't attack you or anything. I'm way too sick for that."

Miranda's resistance deserted her and she was left with no viable protest. She slid under the covers, spooned her body against Jamie's back and wrapped her arm around Jamie's waist. With a sigh, she inhaled the sweet scent of Jamie's hair, finding it hard to catch her breath. Being this intimate with Jamie felt as comforting as it had before, but this time her body caught on fire and she couldn't blame it on a sexy movie scene. She wanted Jamie, wanted her with every fiber of her being and she could no longer deny it.

The flames blazed even hotter when Jamie grabbed Miranda's hand and held it to her chest, between her breasts. Miranda's fingertips touched the edge of softness and she knew if she moved even a fraction of an inch, she'd be touching Jamie's breasts. Every cell in her body was reaching for Jamie, craving contact and she wondered if Jamie felt her quivering body or heard her pounding heart.

THE NEXT MORNING, when Miranda opened her eyes, they were both on opposite sides of the bed facing away from each other. Neither of them said anything about how physically close they'd been during the night. After breakfast was over, Miranda helped Jamie back into bed. "You look better, today."

"I feel better and I don't feel as hot, at least not right now."

"Your eyes look brighter," Miranda observed, tucking her in.

"Thanks to you. Who else has their own private doctor?"

"I'm glad I could be here for you." Miranda sat on the bed. "I have to go home. I have some reading to do for work and I promised my sister I'd come for dinner."

"Oh...okay." Jamie's voice barely reached a whisper.

"Do you think you'll be all right here on your own? I won't go if you need me."

"No, don't do that. I'll be okay. You've done so much for me, already." Jamie held Miranda's hand in hers. "I don't know what I would have done without you. I can't tell you how grateful I am."

"Thanks. I'm also grateful to you."

"Really? Why?"

"You helped me. Being here with you made me feel better, too. I can't explain it. I just feel good when I'm with you."

"So do I, feel good I mean...when I'm with you."

"That makes me happy, Jamie. You make sure you stay in bed and rest. I left you some food and there's plenty for you to drink. Make some tea later on and don't forget to drink a lot of fluids. Doctor's orders."

"Yes, Doctor."

"I don't think you should go to work for another two or three days. Not until you feel up to it at any rate. If you need a doctor's note, I..."

"No. I'm not worried about work. This is my last week, anyway."

"Okay. Now listen, Jamie, I want you to call me on my cell if you need me or if you just want to talk-- anytime." Miranda let go of Jamie's hand and stood up.

"I will. Have a good time at your sister's."

"I always have a good time when we get together. Take a few Tylenol every three or four hours if you feel achy or hot."

"And call you in the morning?" Jamie's eyes twinkled.

"Cute. Just do what I told you."

"Yes, Doctor. Will I hear from you anytime soon?"

"I'll call you later this evening to see how you're doing."

"I'll look forward to it." Jamie grabbed the cuff of Miranda's shirt and rubbed the fabric between her fingers. "Miranda?"

"What is it?"

"You've been so kind. I owe you."

Miranda bent down and kissed Jamie on the cheek. "Pay me back by getting better. I'll talk to you soon."

As soon as Jamie heard the door to her apartment close, she shut her eyes and touched the exact spot on her cheek where Miranda's soft kiss still lingered.

Chapter Twenty-Three

"I'M GLAD YOU came over this afternoon. I haven't seen you all week," Valerie told Miranda as soon as she walked into the kitchen. "I'd give you a hug, but my hands are messy." She stood at the sink peeling a pile of potatoes.

"Where's Tommy?"

"He went out to buy some computer cable or some damn thing. Sit down and keep me company while I make dinner."

"It smells like our grandmother's house in here."

"Brings back memories, doesn't it? Tommy asked me to make a classic Sunday dinner like his mother used to make, so I'm roasting a couple of chickens. I don't think it'll be quite the same as his mother's, though."

"Why not? You're a good cook."

"I'm a much better cook." Valerie laughed.

"That's a good one, Val." Miranda laughed. "He probably won't like it, then. You know how men are when it comes to their mother's cooking."

"It's more like the overblown memory of it. In fact, most of their childhood memories are greatly exaggerated." Valerie turned and studied Miranda. "What do you know about men and their mothers?"

"Not much, thank God."

"Consider yourself lucky. We're having stuffing, mashed potatoes, green beans, and cranberry sauce. He insisted on the cranberry sauce."

"Boy, you went all out. It's just like Thanksgiving."

"Yeah, maybe I overdid it just a little. Want a glass of wine?" Valerie asked.

"No thanks. I'll wait until we have dinner."

"That's too bad. I was hoping you'd have a drink with me."

"What do you mean, that's too bad?" Now what was Valerie up to? "I thought you told me you didn't like to drink wine while you were cooking. You said it made you too tipsy and you burned things and messed up the dinner."

"That's all true, but I was hoping to loosen your lips with alcohol so you'd tell me all about your weekend playing doctor with your sexy new girlfriend."

"Look at you with that devilish grin on your face. You are positively evil. First of all, I wasn't playing doctor, I am a doctor and second of all, it just so happens she really was sick. And, furthermore, just so we keep this accurate, she is not my girlfriend, so what makes you think there's anything to tell?"

"I don't know, just a hunch. It's not like I can't recognize a serious attraction when I see one. Do you want to start telling me about it now or shall we wait?"

"Hey, no time like the present. She was very sick and I went over to help her. End of story." If only that would put an end to her sister's inquisitiveness, Miranda thought.

"Come on, there has to be more. Plenty more, I imagine."

"Okay, I surrender. What do you want to know?" Valerie's persistence never ceased to amaze Miranda. Even when they were kids she'd been that way. When she got something in her head, look out. They were two years apart in age, Miranda being the younger one and in high school Valerie had driven her nuts, never giving up until she'd uncovered the whole story and never letting up until Miranda had bared her soul. "Get all your damn questions out in the open before Tommy gets home because I don't want to get into this with him. He doesn't need to know about Jamie."

"It's too late for that, I'm afraid," Valerie confessed with a grimace.

"Great. I suppose you told him everything?"

"You could say that, but as you pointed out yourself, there wasn't much to tell. Now, here's what I want to know...wait, before we get into that, how's she doing? Is she feeling better? It was nice of you to help her, by the way."

Miranda nodded. "I know and she's better, thank you. Now what do you really want to know?" Valerie wouldn't let up until she got what she wanted.

"I want to know if anything happened. You know, happened."

"Not unless you consider me sleeping with her all weekend a happening."

Valerie gasped out loud. "What?" She covered her gaping mouth with her hand. "Are you teasing me? Because, if you are, I'm going to be pissed."

"I'm not teasing you, but I do mean slept, literally. She was very sick, Valerie. What did you think I meant?" Miranda attempted to look innocent, as if she really didn't have a clue as to what Valerie meant. For just a moment, she almost felt ashamed of the pleasure she derived from teasing and torturing her sister.

"I thought you meant you'd made love with her."

"You're on to me, Val. I ravished her virus ridden, feverish body whenever she was conscious enough to participate and even when she wasn't." Miranda knew she'd gone too far, but the look on her sister's face was well worth it.

Valerie turned, her hands on her hips. "Sure, go ahead and make fun of me. I just got excited for you, that's all. I think she's really cute and sexy and I want you to be happy. Is that a crime?"

Valerie's pout could have won a pouting contest even though Miranda knew her sister was just pretending to be mortally wounded by her ribbing. "You know it isn't and I apologize for giving you a hard time, but you deserve it. You make me crazy. I think she's cute and sexy too. I like her more every time I see her."

"Good. So you're really attracted to her?"

"Yes" Miranda wasted no time answering. "Yes, yes, yes."

"Well?" Valerie tilted her head to the side and raised her eyebrows.

"Well what?"

Valerie heaved a sigh. "Well, what are you going to do about it?"

"I was going to ask her out. That's the reason I called her on Friday and that's how I found out she was sick. Now I'm thinking I'll have her over for dinner."

"You should do that as soon as she's well. She'd love to see your new house."

"How do you know that?"

"Come on, Miranda." Valerie frowned. "She would, wouldn't she? Honestly, you're so hard to talk to sometimes, especially about things like this."

"I'm sorry. You're right, she probably would. Look, she was quite ill and I was concerned, so I slept next to her. She's a nice person, Val, and I care about her." Miranda took a deep breath and made a decision on the spot. Maybe speaking the truth out loud to her sister would help her come to grips with it herself. "There's more. Whenever I was near her, I felt like I was on fire and I wasn't the one who had a fever. Honestly, Val, the way I feel about her, this irresistible attraction, it's a new experience for me."

"Wow, are you serious? What about Ellen?"

"I thought that was real at the time, but it doesn't even come close."

"Wow..." Valerie shook her head. "She must be really special."

"She is, Val. Now that she's back in my life, I can't think of a single reason not to see her and be with her. I'm tired of fighting her and the feelings I have for her."

"Wow..." Valerie shook her head again.

"Stop shaking your head and saying wow and tell me what the hell to do."

"Miranda...honestly. I think you know what to do." Valerie smiled.

"I don't mean that. What I'm saying is I'm not sure how she feels about me. I think she's fond of me, but I don't know if it's romantic anymore. Her feelings for me

probably died long ago after the way I rejected her."

"You were just being careful," Valerie reminded her.

"Careful? That should be my middle name. Miranda "Careful" Ross. I'm sick and tired of being careful. I want to close my eyes and dive into the deep end of the pool. I want to forget about everything else and I don't care what happens. I don't even care if I get hurt again."

"Do you have any idea how she feels?"

Miranda slowly shook her head. "Sometimes, I think there's a hint of something in her eyes, but she's guarded and with good reason, I might add. She wanted me to be with her and she wanted me to hold her, but I don't know what it meant to her."

"So now she's the one being careful."

"Ironic, isn't it? At Eve's party, she told me she wasn't going to throw herself at me again and I know that's the kind of thing you say to protect yourself when someone's hurt you. What do you think I should I do, Val?"

"I don't know. See her, be with her. If you were meant to be together, you'll find out. That's what I think, for what it's worth. I'll be here if you fall and get hurt."

"You always have been." Miranda gazed lovingly at her sister. "After what Ellen did to me, if it hadn't been for you and Tommy..."

"I know, Sis. I'll always be here for you. Count on it."

"Thanks. I can't believe how this has turned around. She wanted me and I said no and now it's me who wants her. I want to make love to her until I can't see straight. I'd like to climb into bed with her and never leave."

Valerie looked as stunned as a deer caught in headlights. "Whoa, now, that's way too much information. Even for me." She fanned herself with her hand.

"You better move away from that stove. You're getting overheated." Miranda enjoyed seeing her sister flustered and red in the face. She waited just long enough to draw out the suffering then she said, "Relax, that's all the details you're going to get."

"I'm relieved to hear that."

"No you're not."

"You're impossible. Don't you think you should call her now and check on her?"

"I'll call her later. I can't wait to see her but I don't know when that will be. She's still sick, I've got a busy week ahead of me and I'm on call later this week. Maybe we can get together next Saturday if she's feeling better."

"Next Saturday sounds good," Valerie said. "You can jump her then."

"Valerie! For God's sake."

Chapter Twenty-Four

MIRANDA PEERED THROUGH one of the large downstairs windows. With one hand she held the curtain aside and watched as the rain fell steadily, just as it had all day. The weather had transformed the outside world into a blurry watercolor painted exclusively in shades of gray except for a fleeting flash of color from a passing red and yellow striped umbrella or the bright blue jacket of a pedestrian hurrying by. Without a doubt, come midnight, the city would look less like DC and more like London in a shadowy and vaporous old black and white Sherlock Holmes movie.

She'd taken care of everything and now she had nothing left to do but wait. Dinner was warming in the oven, chilled wine sat waiting in the refrigerator and the table had been set for hours. All week she'd counted the days and the hours until she would see Jamie, never expecting that the hardest hour to endure would be the very last one.

Tired of watching the rain come down, Miranda went back to check her preparations one last time. When the doorbell finally rang, she rushed to answer it, her heart galloping wildly in her chest. Her excitement was almost more than she could bear. To steady herself, she stopped in front of the door and took three or four deep breaths before she turned the latch and opened it. "Hello, Jamie."

Jamie stepped into the foyer, shook her wet umbrella and propped it against the wall. Then she removed her jacket and shook it out. "I took the Metro, so I'm a little wet. I didn't want to drive because people drive like maniacs when it's raining."

"Here, let me hang your jacket up for you." As Miranda took the jacket, she noticed the flattering top Jamie was wearing and how the swell of her breasts stretched the fabric across her chest. Just as she thought she saw a hint of nipple, she forced herself to turn away and hang the jacket on the coat rack. "Come in and sit down."

Jamie followed Miranda into the living room and sat on the edge of the sofa. "Thanks for inviting me to dinner. You look really good and I'm happy to see you."

"You look good, too." Miranda sat in a chair across from Jamie. "You look like your old self again. God, I hated to see you sick like that." Jamie did look good, physically, but she wasn't acting like herself. Her body seemed stiff and the atmosphere around her seemed to crackle with tension.

"I know I've told you this several times, but I can't thank you enough for being there for me." Jamie's piercing blue eyes never strayed from Miranda's for a second. "I was so scared and it would have been a lot harder to endure without you."

"I know you were." Miranda smiled gently. "I'm sorry I never had a chance to visit you this past week. I did think about you and I wanted to see you."

"That's okay. You called me every day--that meant a lot to me."

Miranda felt dizzy and weak in the knees as Jamie's hungry eyes bored into her. She drew in a long slow breath and tried to appear calm and collected, despite the fact that she was anything but. "I'm happy to see you. You look beautiful."

"So do you, Doctor. I couldn't wait to see you tonight." Jamie smiled for the first time and looked around the room. "I love your house."

"Thanks. Would you like me to show you around?" I couldn't wait to see you either.

"I would," Jamie replied, jumping to her feet.

"We'll start upstairs and then I'll show you the rest of the downstairs."

THE UPSTAIRS TOUR ended in Miranda's bedroom. Jamie crossed to the dresser, picked up one of the framed pictures and examined it. "Hey, this is the picture that man took of us in Marseilles," she said as she placed it back on the dresser. She lifted one of the others, this one a picture of the two of them sitting outside the cafe in Athens. Tenderly, she ran her fingertips over the glass and after a moment, she looked at Miranda and smiled. "I love these pictures. We had a good time, didn't we?"

"The best," Miranda replied.

Jamie had to fight to hold back her tears as she turned to look at the pictures again. The precious memories preserved within the confines of those frames filled her with sadness. It had never occurred to her that they might have meant as much to Miranda as they did to her. Then why, she wondered? Why hadn't Miranda ever called her and how could Miranda have moved on with her life so easily when it had been so hard for her? "I'm surprised you framed them and put them out like this."

"Why? I put them there so I could see them whenever I wanted to."

"I framed my favorite one of you." Jamie winced, remembering the nights she'd spent staring at that picture, crying until her eyes were puffy and red. She had kissed it and held it to her breasts convinced that her broken heart could never be mended. Convinced that she would never again see the woman she had fallen so deeply in love with.

"You did?" Miranda thought Jamie nodded her answer, but if she did, it was so faint a movement, she could barely see it.

After Miranda had left the ship in Barcelona, Jamie had cried until she couldn't cry anymore. She had talked to Alicia until she had nothing left to say. She'd brooded and sulked and she'd worn her pain like a wound earned in battle. Then she just got numb. Numb the way you do when you finally accept as truth the one thing you dreaded facing the most. Now, here she was, standing in the bedroom within reach of the woman she'd spent months pining over. The silence in the room began to feel intolerable, so Jamie moved away from the dresser to the other side of the room and changed the subject. "I love this master suite."

"I had them knock down walls and combine three rooms."

"It's beautiful. Your entire house is beautiful."

"It's more than I need, but I love it. I have to get someone to clean for me, though. I hate cleaning. It wouldn't be so bad if you didn't have to do it over and over again."

Jamie ambled across the room and stood close to Miranda. "I hate it, too." She tumbled helplessly into the deep dark of Miranda's eyes, her legs jiggling beneath her like pillars of gelatin. She warned herself to calm down even though she felt as if she were losing control of her emotions.

"My sister says that cleaning, if properly done, can kill you." Miranda laughed at her own joke, her laughter tinny and a decibel too loud. Taking Jamie's hand in hers, she said, "Let's go downstairs. I want to show you my new kitchen and get dinner ready."

"Okay," Jamie said, happy to be yanked out of the desperate place she was in.

IN THE KITCHEN, Miranda said, "I have a confession to make. I bought the dinner...I mean, I didn't actually make it myself. I'm afraid I don't cook very often or very well. Basically, it boils down to too little time and very little desire."

"That makes two of us, but whatever it is, it smells delicious." Jamie ran her hand over the black granite counter tops. "If you ever do cook, this is the kitchen to do it in."

"I put a lot of money into it. It's good for resale value."

Jamie held perfectly still. "Resale? You're not moving away, are you?"

"No. I just meant that I'll recoup the money if and when I ever do decide to sell the house." Every single word that had come out of Miranda's mouth since she'd said hello, sounded shallow and inconsequential. She wasn't sure exactly what she needed or wanted to say to Jamie, but she knew that none of this came close.

"I'm sure you will." Jamie leaned against the counter and hung her head.

"Want some wine, Jamie? I think I'll have a glass." Miranda needed to moisten her dry throat and calm her jangled nerves. Noting Jamie's enthusiastic nod, she poured two full glasses and handed one to her. "I hope you like red."

Jamie nodded again and dragged her fingers lightly against Miranda's as she took the glass from her hand. She looked at Miranda over the rim as she took the first long sip and then she said, "This is very good."

Good Lord, does she have to touch me and look at me like that with those sexy eyes? "We can eat anytime. Are you hungry?"

"I'm starving."

Jamie's eyes paved a path straight into Miranda's soul. She gulped some wine and swallowed it. "Then I think we should go ahead and eat."

"I think we should."

"How's the gym coming along?" Miranda asked while she dressed the salad and sliced the bread. "Is it finished yet?"

"Almost. It looks amazing. We're opening a week from tomorrow."

"Are you ready to open?"

"Not quite. I'm glad I'm not working anymore and that I'm feeling better, because there's a lot to do. The equipment's set up, but we're having more supplies delivered this week and lots of stuff coming from the printers. It's going to be a very busy week."

"I can't wait to see it. You have people to help you, don't you?"

"My trainers will help me set everything up."

Miranda pulled on a pair of oven mitts. "Why don't you grab the bread and salad and I'll get the rigatoni out of the oven. We're eating in the dining room."

After dinner, they went into the living room with a cup of coffee. As they talked, Jamie fidgeted in her seat, her eyes darting around the room.

"Jamie? What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Jamie chewed on her lower lip and averted her eyes.

Miranda sat forward in her seat. "You're not feeling sick again, are you?"

"No, nothing like that." Jamie shook her head and her eyes filled with tears.

"Then what is it?" Miranda waited for something in the way of an explanation but Jamie offered none. "Come on. Tell me what's going on. I know something is."

"I never thought I'd see you again and then there you were at Eve's party. At first I felt nothing and then I felt angry toward you and then I..."

"And then you what?"

"I thought I'd gotten over you enough to handle this. I thought what I felt for you had died...but now...but now I..."

"Now you what, Jamie? Please tell me."

Without warning, Jamie jumped out of her seat and rushed to the foyer. "I need to go now. I need to go home. I'm not..." She hurled the words out behind her as she reached for her jacket.

Miranda hurried after her. "Wait, please." Instinctively, she positioned herself between Jamie and the front door and grabbed hold of Jamie's arms to prevent her from running away. "Please don't leave. Not like this. Please tell me what's on your mind. I won't be able to stand it if you leave without telling me why."

"I can't, I..."

"Please don't do this to me. To both of us."

"I can't stand to be with you for one more second. I have to get out of here and save myself while I still can." Jamie stared at the floor, refusing to meet Miranda's eyes.

"Save yourself from what? Tell me, I'm begging you." Miranda tightened her grip on Jamie's arms and bent her head down to try to get a glimpse into Jamie's eyes. "Please tell me what's bothering you." Jamie sighed and relaxed her arms. "You can let go of me. I won't leave."

Miranda relaxed her hold on Jamie's arms. "Talk to me, Jamie."

"Remember I promised you I wouldn't throw myself at you again? I said we'd just go out and it would only be casual? Well, I can't do it. I can't do any of it." She closed her eyes tightly and sighed again.

Miranda's heart sunk. "I should have expected this. I destroyed any feelings you had for me back on the ship, didn't I? Now that our paths have crossed again and you've had a chance to get to know me better, maybe you've discovered you don't even like me."

Jamie's eyes opened wide as she stared in disbelief. "Don't like you? Jesus, Miranda, don't you know I love you, even more than I did then? I love you more each time I see you and it's killing me to be with you like this. Do you have any idea how much it hurts me to act like we're friends when all I want to do is touch you and kiss you? It's pure torture to want you this much--pure torture--and I can't take it. I really can't."

"I...I didn't know," Miranda stammered. The passion in Jamie's eyes burned into her, set her body ablaze and made her heart soar. "Jamie, I..."

"Let me finish," Jamie interrupted. "I knew I was in trouble all over again when you held me in my bed. Your soft breasts were against my back and it felt so good, so right to have you there. I know I was sick, but I wanted you and I want you now, so much I can't see straight. I want to be your girlfriend. I want to be your lover. I want to be wherever you are. I want..." She covered her face with her hands.

"Don't hide from me." Miranda peeled Jamie's hands away and held them down. "Are you going to do all the talking or can I say something here?"

"Not if you're going to say you're not interested in being with me. I can't hear you say that again. This time it'll kill me. So, if that's what..."

Miranda grabbed Jamie, pinned her against the wall and silenced her with her mouth. The kiss was fierce and deep, fraught with too many long months of yearning. She kissed her again and again as if she would crawl inside her if it were humanly possible.

Jamie opened her mouth and allowed Miranda to enter and explore. She let go of any and all resistance and clutched Miranda's body to hers, grinding her hips into Miranda's. She moaned into her mouth.

After a round of feverish kisses, Miranda tore her mouth away, pressed her forehead against Jamie's, and struggled to catch her breath. She stayed that way until she found the strength to speak again. "That's what I needed to say."

"Jesus, Miranda. I never expected, I thought..."

Miranda held her index finger against Jamie's lips. "Why don't you just stop talking and listen to me? I'm trying to tell you how much I want you." She cradled Jamie's face in her hands and with her thumbs, outlined her warm, incredibly soft lips.

"You want me? You really want me?" Tears spilled onto Jamie's cheeks.

Miranda wiped the tears away. "I want you, more than I can say. Did you think I'd let you walk out of here? I can't. Not this time. We've both waited far too long. I want you to stay with me tonight. I want to make love with you."

Jamie exhaled forcibly and closed her eyes. "I want you so much. You can't possibly know."

"That's not true. I do know. Come with me." Tugging on Jamie's hand, Miranda led her upstairs to her bedroom. "Stay right here. Don't go away," she said, leaving Jamie next to the bed while she turned on one of the soft lights on her dresser. She felt Jamie's eyes follow her every move and when she came back and stood in front of Jamie again, they'd turned dark with desire.

"You're so beautiful." Jamie caressed Miranda's cheek.

"And you--you're so gorgeous, you make me crazy. All week I've been in a constant state of arousal, just thinking about you." Miranda covered Jamie's hand with her own.

"I wanted tonight to be our first night together, but I never thought..."

Miranda slid Jamie's top out of her jeans and pulled it over her head. "All I've thought about all week is undressing you, touching you--how you'd feel, how you'd look at me." Reaching around Jamie's back, she unhooked her bra, and let it fall to the floor. Cupping one soft breast in her hand, she bent to take the flushed nipple into her mouth.

Jamie gasped as Miranda sucked on her exquisitely sensitive nipple. With her fingers buried in Miranda's hair, she held her fast to her chest, the hot velvet of Miranda's mouth sending currents of desire straight down her spine to her pelvis. Jamie's back arched involuntarily and she groaned out loud. "God, that's wonderful."

Miranda let go and stood again. "Your breasts are beautiful. You're beautiful."

"You say all the right things."

"I have to touch you. I can't wait any longer." Miranda unbuttoned Jamie's jeans and pulled her zipper down. Spreading her hand out on Jamie's abdomen, she caressed her as she slid down under the elastic of her panties and reached between her legs. "You're so wet," she moaned as she separated the silken folds with her fingers and stroked.

"Easy, Doc. I'll come right here if you do that."

Miranda withdrew her hand and with her fingers rubbed the sweet nectar of Jamie's desire in leisurely circles over one of Jamie's exposed nipples. "I want to make you come. I want to know everything that makes you come." Lowering her head, she sucked the moistened nipple into her mouth.

"I'm so close, now." Jamie groaned and broke the contact. "Wait, please." She lifted Miranda's top over her head in one smooth motion and tugged at the waist band of her pants. "Can you take these off?" she begged, her hands shaking. Impatiently, she kicked and wiggled her way out of the rest of her clothing while Miranda did the same.

Momentarily diverted by the sight of Jamie's naked body, Miranda stopped undressing and stood before her with only her bra still on. "God...look at you. I knew your body was stunning, but I never imagined this." Miranda's breasts strained against the fabric of her bra, her hardened nipples aching and begging for release. With trembling hands, she reached behind herself to free them.

Jamie stilled Miranda's hands. "Let me." With the delicacy required to pluck a single petal from a rose, she pulled Miranda's bra straps over her shoulders and let the bra cups sink over the swell of her breasts until her nipples were exposed. "They're perfect," she murmured as she ran her fingertips first over one taut nipple and then the other. "And you think I'm beautiful?" She unclasped Miranda's bra and tossed it aside.

"Why don't we lie down, Jamie?" Miranda climbed onto the bed and brought Jamie down to lie alongside her. She pushed Jamie onto her back, cupped her breast in her hand and moved her head down to trace a circle around the nipple with the tip of her tongue.

"Miranda...please," Jamie moaned, the sensations so superb she almost stopped breathing. "It's so good, so good."

Miranda moved up in the bed again and draped her leg over Jamie's thighs. With her head propped up on her elbow, she stroked Jamie's cheek and gazed into her eyes. "Tell me what you want."

"I want to feel your mouth on me." Moved by Jamie's response and the depth of her need, Miranda kissed her, her warm mouth a promise of the sweet ecstasy to come. As she made her descent, she paused to kiss every succulent spot on her lover's body, wanting to prolong every precious moment of their first time together. When at last, she positioned herself between Jamie's legs, Jamie's hips lifted, reaching for her. Pausing one last time, Miranda planted moist kisses on the silken skin at the top of Jamie's thighs.

"Please, Miranda."

The heat rising from Jamie's center, her fresh earthy scent almost drove Miranda crazy. Moaning, she raised her head, meeting Jamie's half-opened eyes one more time before covering her with her mouth. Sliding a hand under Jamie's buttocks, she held her to her mouth as she delved into each delectable fold.

"God, that's it...just like that." Jamie groaned as Miranda stroked her. Each heavenly stroke brought Jamie closer and closer to slipping over the edge. "I need you inside me, please," she pleaded, her hips searching.

Miranda entered Jamie and filled her completely. She knew then that she wanted to be the one who made Jamie delirious with desire, the one who brought her to orgasm again and again. She wanted to be the one who made Jamie moan with pleasure, cry out her name in passion. Knowing how close Jamie was, she deepened her thrusts.

Jamie rocked her hips and pushed hard against Miranda's fingers. "I'm coming," she cried out as a powerful climax ripped through her.

Miranda rested her cheek on Jamie's lower abdomen and held her hips until her body became still, staying inside her until the muscular contractions subsided and the soft walls relaxed around her fingers. Then, very slowly, she withdrew her fingers and moved up to lie beside her on the bed. With Jamie wrapped in her arms, she whispered, "You feel so wonderful. You taste so sweet. You smell so good."

After a series of passionate kisses, Jamie pushed Miranda onto her back and shifted so she was lying on her side next to her. Cupping Miranda's breast, she bent to capture the nipple in her mouth. She nipped at it and then flicked her tongue over it.

"That feels so good." Miranda groaned, her hips reaching. "Touch me."

Jamie reached between them, separated Miranda's outer lips and dipped her fingers into the copious wetness. Touching Miranda for the first time felt so amazing that when Jamie entered her, she feared she might have another orgasm just from the feel of her. As she held Miranda close, their cheeks pressed together, she stroked inside while she rubbed Miranda's clitoris with her hand.

Miranda moved with her, groaning with each stroke until she stiffened and cried out, "Jamie, I'm coming!" Holding her breath, she clutched at Jamie with all of her might as she rode out the force of her orgasm. Afterward, she cuddled in Jamie's arms, her head resting on Jamie's shoulder. For a long time they stayed that way, content to simply lie together, breathe together and feel the warmth and comfort of being so close.

"I loved having you inside me," Miranda said a while later. "From now on, I'll always feel empty without you." She shifted in the bed to look into Jamie's eyes.

Jamie smiled and with the palm of her hand cradling Miranda's cheek, she spoke to her. "I loved being there. I want you to feel me inside of you even when I'm not there and I want you to know that wherever I am, inside of you is where I'd rather be."

"I'll always want you there. Whenever I think of this night, I'll remember how it felt to have you there." Miranda turned fully on her side and explored Jamie's body, letting her hand follow her eyes as they laid claim to every enticing curve, every soft rise, every tender hollow.

"I didn't think you wanted me," Jamie said softly.

"When I held you in bed last weekend, I wanted you so much. My heart was beating so hard, I was afraid you'd feel it and you'd know how I felt. My hand was right next to your breast and it took every ounce of strength I had not to touch you."

"I think I did feel your heart beating, but mine was pounding so hard, I wasn't sure if it was mine or yours." Jamie stared into Miranda's dark eyes. "I dreamed of this, of us."

"And have I made your dreams come true?" Miranda traced Jamie's lower lip with her finger and followed it with a tender kiss.

"So far you've surpassed them." Jamie kissed the finger Miranda had used to trace her lip and drew the tip into her mouth.

"So far?"

Jamie smiled, her eyes blazing into Miranda's. "I haven't tasted you yet." Still smiling, she eased Miranda onto her back and began to kiss her way down the length of Miranda's body until she reached the place she craved. "You're so beautiful," she whispered as she spread Miranda open and looked at her. Then, unable to wait any longer, she lowered her head and covered her with her mouth. With her tongue, she caressed the sweet, soft inner lips and when she'd had her fill, she traced the satiny tissues down to Miranda's vagina and pushed into her as far as she could.

"Yes, just like that. That feels wonderful."

Jamie slid her fingers inside where her tongue had been and plunged into Miranda. As she stroked her inside, she stroked her clitoris, pushing her closer and closer to the edge.

Miranda cried out as she was hit by another powerful orgasm. Her body tensed and shuttered with wave after wave of rapture. "That was incredible," she said once she was calm enough to talk. "You're incredible. I dreamed about making love with you, but my dreams didn't even come close to this. It's never been like this for me...ever."

"You must know it was just as wonderful for me. I can't believe we're making love. I never thought this would happen. I love you, so much."

"I know, Jamie, I know." Gently, she pressed her lips to Jamie's, this time simply to feel their warmth, their incredible softness and to imprint them in her mind forever. "I can't seem to stop kissing you."

"Good, because I never want you to stop."

"I'll never forget this night as long as I live."

"Me either." Jamie kissed her, desire flooding her all over again. "There's nothing I want more than to be with you, nothing in the whole world." Using her body, Jamie rolled Miranda onto her back so she could lie on top of her. She wedged her thigh between Miranda's legs and pressed it against her wetness.

"You are with me, Jamie. It's not a dream anymore."

"Well, pinch me because I feel like I'm still dreaming, and if I am, I hope I never, ever wake up again." She moaned as she straddled Miranda's thigh and pressed her hot center against the firm muscle. She began to move. "I can't get enough of you."

"I'm right here, baby, right here with you." With her hands grasping Jamie's buttocks, Miranda pulled her against her thigh to heighten the contact and as Jamie rubbed against her, Miranda spread her legs and rubbed against Jamie's thigh. "Move with me. I want us to come together."

They moved in harmony, their chests heaving, their passion carrying them closer and closer to the edge. The instant Jamie felt Miranda's body tense and heard the sharp intake of air, she tumbled with her into a staggering mutual climax.

They held each other for a few minutes and then Miranda started laughing quietly. "I can't stop shaking and I still want you." She planted gentle kisses on Jamie's eyes, her cheeks, her forehead, anywhere her lips could reach without leaving her side.

"That's not a problem. You know why?"

Miranda shook her head and smiled as she met Jamie's eyes.

"Because you can have me any time you want me." Jamie gently brushed a few strands of damp hair away from Miranda's face. "I'm all yours."

"You might live to regret that kind of offer."

"I seriously doubt that." Jamie pulled Miranda on top of her.

Chapter Twenty-Five

THE NEXT MORNING, Jamie was the first to open her eyes. For a while, she held very still in Miranda's arms and watched her face as she slept, certain she'd never seen anyone quite as pretty. Gently, she touched Miranda's lips, her cheek, her forehead and the very tips of her eyelashes. Each touch produced a tiny twitch in Miranda's features until, at last, her eyes fluttered open.

"Was that you, tickling me? It felt like a little bug flying around."

"It was me." Jamie smiled. "Good morning sleepyhead."

"Sleepyhead? We were up most of the night, as you know."

"I know. I was there, remember? How do you feel?"

Miranda pressed the palm of her hand against Jamie's cheek and smiled. "I feel sexy and happy and absolutely fantastic. I usually get more than three or four hours of sleep a night, but surprisingly enough, I feel energized and better than I've felt in a long time. That's not all I feel, but that might begin to describe it. And how do you feel?"

"Really good and happier than ever, too. Let's see, what else--very relieved and just a little satisfied." Jamie ran a single finger in a line down Miranda's cheek until it came to rest at the corner of her mouth. "Most of all, I feel very much in love with you." Then she used the same finger to gently touch Miranda's lips. "I love your soft, soft lips," she said just before she kissed her.

"Is that all you're feeling?" Miranda asked as soon as the kiss ended. "Because I'm feeling something else again."

Jamie grinned and kissed her, more thoroughly this time. Her hand found its way to Miranda's breast. "I love your breasts." Jamie's lips brushed against Miranda's as she whispered softly to her. "And every other part of you."

"Touch me, Jamie. I need you to, so much." Miranda's breathing had become ragged and her half-closed eyes were locked on Jamie's.

"You don't have to ask me twice," Jamie said. She moved a hand between them and stroked the length of Miranda's clitoris, paying specific attention to the spot she'd already learned was the most sensitive. "This time, I want to look at you while you come."

Miranda kept her eyes on Jamie's and groaned, her hips jerking involuntarily as Jamie touched her. She moved her own hand over the smooth skin of Jamie's lower abdomen, dipped her fingers in the warm wetness and slid along the side of Jamie's clitoris. "You're so wet... you feel so good."

"I woke up wet from dreaming about you." Jamie's eyes became unfocused and her breath caught in her throat as Miranda's fingers worked their magic. "Please make me come." As Jamie said these words, she entered Miranda and held her fingers deep inside.

Miranda cried out as Jamie entered and she in turn entered Jamie. As Jamie moved inside her and rubbed against her, she did the same to Jamie. For a while, they were a mass of pulsating, driving desire until Jamie gasped out loud, her body on the brink of orgasm.

Jamie cried out first. She took in a sharp deep breath and held it, her face a contorted mask, her muscles contracted, her body shaking violently.

Miranda followed close behind her, crying out as they both fell into orgasm, an orgasm so intense, so all-consuming, it seemed to come from both of them and yet belong to neither one. It took some time before either could speak or move.

About ten minutes later, Miranda glanced at the digital clock on her bedside table. "I suppose we should get up sometime today."

"Do we have to?" Jamie groaned and buried her head between two pillows. "I don't want to leave you or this bed. I want to stay here for the rest of my life." She peeked out from beneath the top pillow with one eye. "Say we don't ever have to leave."

"Ever?" Miranda raised her eyebrows.

"Ever. This is the only place I want to be." Jamie buried her face again.

"Me too, but we can't stay here forever." Miranda lifted one edge of the pillow and peered in at Jamie. "I hate to be the bearer of logic and reason at such a time, but sooner or later, my nosy sister would be over here banging on the door. Eventually, I'd lose my job, your gym would go under, we'd go broke, and then we'd be out living on the street." Miranda pretended to be serious but the corners of her mouth lifted just enough to give her away. "That's not a good way to start a relationship."

"That's a horrible thought, but at least we'd be together."

"Well, there is that, but..."

"You're way too sensible."

"I know, that's what my sister says about me all the time." Miranda plucked the pillow from Jamie's head and tossed it on the floor. "Come on, rise and shine. I'll make coffee and fix us something to eat." She got out of bed and stood at the side. "Aren't you hungry at all? We haven't eaten for hours and hours."

"I'm starving, but not for food," Jamie turned onto her back, uncovered and naked, her hands linked behind her head. "I'd rather stay right here and feast upon your naked body." She winked. "Coffee sounds good, though."

Miranda felt her body grow warm with desire. "You are so incredibly sexy. I can't stop looking at you and looking at you makes me want you all over again and I do want you, so much. You have no idea how much." Miranda bent down and kissed her. "We'll get back to this later."

"Is that a promise?"

"You bet, baby. We're merely taking a break solely for the purpose of sustenance and hygiene. You don't have to run home any time soon, do you?"

Jamie shook her head. "What do you have in mind?"

"I'd love it if you'd spend the day with me. Can you do that?"

Jamie nodded.

"Good, excellent." Miranda beamed. It was hard to remember a time when she'd ever felt this happy and the look on Jamie's face told her that Jamie shared her joy. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to hop in the shower. I won't be long."

"Go ahead." Jamie turned over on her stomach and moaned. "Don't hurry on my account. I'll just stay here in bed until you're done."

Fifteen minutes later, Miranda came out of the bathroom in a soft robe that came to her mid-thigh. From the closet, she got another robe and threw it on the foot of the bed.

"It's your turn. Here's one of my robes, if you want it, and I put a clean set of towels out for you. You should find everything you need in there. I'll be in the kitchen getting the coffee ready. Come down when you're done."

"Uh huh."

"MMM. IT SURE smells good in here," Jamie said when she walked into the kitchen, looking clean and refreshed. "What is it about the smell of bacon and coffee?"

"I don't know. It's heavenly, isn't it?" Miranda smiled. "You got here just in time. Are you awake enough to eat?" Miranda took a sip of coffee.

"I will be as soon as I have some of that coffee."

"Pour yourself a cup. I put the big mugs out. Everything's on the counter."

Miranda dished up the food and carried their plates out to the dining room. "What are you doing tomorrow?" she asked Jamie once they were both seated.

"I have to get up early and go to the gym. This coming week is going to be the greatest of my life and one of the busiest. All my dreams have come true--my gym's going to open and I've made love with you." Jamie's grin spread from ear to ear. "I'm so fucking happy, I don't know what to do with myself."

"I'm happy too, more than I can say." Miranda reached over and took Jamie's hand. "I've never been anyone's dream before." She brought Jamie's hand to her lips.

"Well, you're mine. You're everything I've ever dreamed of."

"I'm going to have a problem this week. How am I going to stop smiling?"

"Don't, it looks good on you. So does the color in your cheeks. It makes you look even prettier than you already are." Jamie released Miranda's hand and took a sip of her coffee. "This is so good."

"I love really good coffee."

"You obviously know how to make it, too." Jamie took another swallow. "I keep forgetting to tell you, we're having a grand opening party at the gym next Saturday, in the evening. It would mean a lot to me if you'd come. Please, say you will."

"Of course I will. I wouldn't miss it for the world, but here's the bad news. You're not the only one with a busy week. I have to attend a medical conference in Boston for a few days. I'm leaving tomorrow evening and I won't be back until Thursday evening. Then I'm working on Friday and I'm on call Friday night, so I won't be able to see you until your party on Saturday. I'm so sorry. Bad timing, huh?"

"I'll say." Jamie frowned. "I guess I'll have to survive."

"We'll both have to survive somehow and we'll have to make do with talking on the phone. Believe me, it won't be easy for me, either. Would you mind if I bring my sister to the opening and maybe her husband, Tommy, if he wants to join us? She told me she wants to get to know you better."

"She wants to know me?" Jamie asked.

"That's what she told me."

"That's really nice. Bring them with you. I'd love to see them again and I'd like to get to know your sister, too."

"Please forgive Valerie if she gives you the third degree. She can be annoyingly nosy but she's a great person with a good heart. She just wants to see me happy."

"She does, huh? Well then, we'll have something very important in common because there's nothing I want more in this world than to make you happy."

"You're very sweet." Miranda reached for Jamie's hand again and kissed it. "I've got another problem along with the smiling thing. I can't stop touching you."

"Good, because I don't want you to," Jamie replied, rubbing the smooth surface of Miranda's hand with her thumb. "I assume your sister knows you're a lesbian?"

"She's known almost as long as I've known. I told her how much I wanted you when I was over there for dinner last Sunday."

"You told her you wanted me? Before yesterday?"

"I did," Miranda answered. "Right after I stayed with you the weekend you were sick. Of course, she doesn't know about this--about us being together. She'll be so pleased." Miranda laughed softly. "Is it okay if I tell her we're lovers?"

"You want to tell her I'm your lover?" Jamie's eyes shimmered.

"Yes, Jamie, I do. Is that okay with you?"

Jamie only nodded, a single tear trickling down each cheek.

"You're so sweet." Miranda got up and stood next to Jamie's chair. She kissed the tears from Jamie's cheeks and when she glanced down at her, she caught a glimpse of a bare thigh where the bottom of Jamie's robe had split. "God, look at you. You don't know what you do to me."

"Yes I do. I'm aching for you again just because this robe smells like you and because I know it's been on your body."

"I ached from wanting you all week and now I have to wait another whole week before I can see you again. I'm going to go crazy." Miranda bent to kiss her.

"Well, we can't have you going crazy, now, can we?" Jamie pulled Miranda onto her lap and wrapped her arms around her. They kissed eagerly, their mouths open, their tongues probing each other's mouths.

"Are you naked under that robe?" Miranda asked when they came up for air. She slid her fingers under the lapel of the robe and pulled it toward her so she could peek inside. Jamie's breasts heaved with each labored breath, pushing her taut, flushed nipples against the front of the robe. Slipping her hand in, Miranda caressed one of Jamie's breasts.

"Yes, I'm naked. Aren't you?" Jamie lowered her eyes. Miranda's robe had separated at the bottom, inviting Jamie's hand to reach for the exposed skin of her thighs.

"Yes," Miranda whispered as Jamie's hand crept higher and higher. Unconsciously, she parted her legs to allow Jamie access to her. With one arm around Jamie's shoulder, she reached with the other to untie Jamie's robe and then she parted it to expose her body.

Jamie moaned. "Jesus, Miranda, you know what I want."

Miranda brought her hand to Jamie's lower abdomen and moved down inch by inch until the tips of her fingers touched the dark triangle of damp hair between Jamie's legs. Knowing it would drive Jamie wild, she stopped and held her hand still.

Jamie squirmed, shifting her position. "Please, Miranda."

"What do you want, baby? I want you to tell me," Miranda whispered, pushing her hand down a fraction of an inch at a time until she reached the wetness she knew she'd find there, waiting for her, just for her.

"I want you here." Jamie placed her hand over Miranda's and guided her, pressing their hands hard between her legs. "I want you to touch me." When Miranda's fingers grazed her clitoris at last, Jamie gasped and moved her hand between Miranda's legs, sliding her fingers into the soft wetness. "I can't. I want..."

"What do you want? Tell me, my sweet Jamie. I love it when you tell me." Miranda's eyes closed and her head fell back as Jamie's fingers found her clitoris.

Jamie managed to tell Miranda what she wanted in little bursts squeezed out between jagged breaths. "I want to be inside you. I want to feel your heart beat...on my fingers... and I want to feel you...hold me inside...when you come."

"What do you want me to do to you?" Miranda whispered in Jamie's ear as she entered her.

"Anything, everything. Just make love to me."

"Let's go back upstairs."

Chapter Twenty-Six

"THIS LOOKS LIKE the place," Valerie said, looking up.

"What makes you think so, Val, the sign that says Jamie's gym?"

"Watch yourself, Tommy." Valerie smacked him in his upper arm.

"Okay you two, knock it off and let's go in," Miranda said as she hurried them through the front door of the building. "This way," she said, pointing down the hallway to the right. The second they arrived at the elevator, she jabbed repeatedly at the up button.

"Hey, don't break it. What's your hurry?" Valerie asked.

"I'm just anxious to see Jamie, that's all. I missed her." Miranda glared at her sister as they stepped inside the elevator and again, she brutalized the button for the correct floor.

"Uh-oh." Valerie elbowed Tommy in the ribs. "I think somebody we know has the hots for somebody. She can't wait to see her."

"Will you stop hitting me? And you'd better hold that tongue of yours, Val," Tommy said as they stepped off the elevator. "She's not amused."

"I'll thank you both not to refer to me as if I don't have a name," Miranda said, opening the door to the gym. "Or like I'm not even standing right here."

Tommy whistled when they entered the gym. "Wow, this is great."

"Look at this, Miranda," Valerie said. "Isn't this place nice?"

"It's more than nice. It's spectacular. I'm glad to see a lot of people came."

"The buffet's got to be over there where all those people are hanging around," Tommy said. "Come on flower girl, let's go get some champagne and check out the food."

"We had dinner not too long ago, Tommy," Valerie reminded him.

"I know, but I'm still hungry."

"You're always hungry." Valerie shook her head. "Okay, you go ahead and see what they have. Miranda and I need to find Jamie and give her these flowers before they wilt. We'll catch up with you later."

After Tommy scurried off in search of free food, Valerie grabbed Miranda by the arm. "Honestly, all that man does is eat."

"He has a healthy appetite, all right. Look at him, he can't wait to get over there."

"I know, believe me, I know." Valerie tugged at her sister's arm. "So, let's you and I go find Jamie. Have you seen her yet?"

"No, but she's got to be around here somewhere." Miranda searched the room as they strolled around and finally, she caught a glimpse of Jamie in the center of a small group of women. At first, her heart filled with joy until one of the women stepped aside and gave her an unobstructed view. Her joy was short-lived. Jamie stood close to Lilly, the same girl she'd taken to Eve's party and she had her arm draped across Lilly's shoulders. Miranda thrust a stiff arm out in front of Valerie's chest and stopped walking the instant she saw Jamie lean in and whisper in Lilly's ear. "Hold on a minute. There she is, over there." Miranda pointed in the general direction.

"Yeah, I see her. Who's she with?"

"That's the girl she brought to Eve's party."

"Uh-oh. They look pretty chummy."

Miranda winced as a painful stab of jealousy ripped a hole in her heart. Would she always have to worry about what Jamie was up to or who she was with? Could Jamie be satisfied being with one woman, the same woman, for any length of time? Why am I even thinking about whether she'll be faithful to me? She hasn't made me any promises.

"Hey you," Valerie tugged on Miranda's sleeve.

"What? So sorry. I was thinking about something."

"Miranda, look at her. She's stunning. Check out the way she's dressed. What is that, a woman's tuxedo? It looks like one but it has more feminine lines and it fits her like it was custom tailored. I swear if I wasn't straight, I'd be attracted to her myself."

"Thanks, Val. That's just what I need to hear. You and God knows how many other women--lesbian or otherwise. Just the sight of her is enough to..."

"To what?" Valerie smiled.

"You know what I mean." Miranda fanned her face and took several deep breaths.

"Look at you. She makes you all hot and bothered, doesn't she?"

"Okay, you don't have to point out every single obvious thing, do you?"

"Someone has to." Valerie made a face. "So, if you feel that way about her, then why are we standing way over here staring at her from a distance? Let's go over there and say hello to Ms. Heartthrob."

"I hope she doesn't turn out to be Ms. Heartbreaker. Why don't you lead the way?" Miranda nudged her sister forward. Here I come, Jamie, ready or not.

They were almost there when Jamie lifted her arm from Lilly's shoulders and turned her head. Her eyes burned into Miranda's, her cheeks flushed and her mouth formed itself into a melting smile.

"God, look at the way she looks at you," Valerie murmured under her breath. "We might have to call the fire department."

Miranda grabbed her sister's sleeve and yanked it. "Beehaave." Then, laughing under her breath, she glanced up and met Jamie's eyes head on. In their smoldering depths they held a cache of lover's secrets meant only for her. Again, her joy knew no bounds as she returned Jamie's melting smile with one of her own.

"That woman's crazy about you," Valerie said.

"I know." Miranda's internal temperature soared to a new level, her desire for Jamie so acute she could barely contain it. From the looks of it, Jamie felt the same way because her fiery gaze made the fabric of Miranda's bra feel abrasive against her nipples. She felt a familiar tightening below and the wetness that was already seeping into her underwear.

"Hi, I'm so happy you made it." Jamie secured Miranda's hand in hers and pulled her close once they stood side by side. "I was beginning to worry that you might not come."

"I'm sorry. Tommy got tied up at work and we promised we'd wait for him." Miranda felt herself blush and she couldn't stop grinning. She knew she must look like a lovesick teenager, but she was beyond caring. "Your gym is fantastic."

"You think so? I can't believe it's actually open."

With her fingers entwined in Jamie's, Miranda turned and faced her sister. "Jamie, you remember meeting my sister, Valerie, at Eve's party, don't you?"

"Of course I do." Jamie let go of Miranda's hand and extended her hand to Valerie. "Thanks for coming."

"Congratulations," Valerie said, shaking Jamie's hand. She handed Jamie a bouquet of orange roses mixed with baby's breath. "These are for you and we brought you a vase to put them in." Valerie handed her a tall, cut glass vase.

"Thank you so much. They're such a beautiful color." Jamie waved to a young woman near the buffet table and beckoned her over. "Kim, please put these in water and set them out on the table, will you?" As soon as Kim left, Jamie introduced Miranda and Valerie to the other women she and Lilly had been chatting with. They talked for a while until Lilly and the other women gradually excused themselves and drifted off.

"My sister owns a flower shop," Miranda told Jamie, once the others were gone.

"Really? How nice. Is that where you got the flowers you brought me that time we went out to dinner?" Jamie took Miranda's hand in hers again and held it tightly.

Miranda cleared her throat as she answered with a nod of her head.

"Are you going to make a habit of bringing me flowers?"

"Maybe--I know I'd like to."

"I heard you were very sick," Valerie said. "I hope you're all better now."

"I am, thanks to the good doctor here. I don't know what I would have done without her." Jamie smiled at Miranda. "She was so kind and caring."

"I'm sure she was. That's my sister," Valerie said.

"So, what do you think of my gym?" Jamie asked.

"I think it looks great. It's a great space with good energy," Valerie replied. "There's lots of natural light in here and I love how you painted all the pillars and exposed pipes with those bright colors. It's inviting and cheerful. Do you have any members yet?"

"Yes we do, a lot more than I expected at this point. We're running a two for one special for any kind of couple--straight, gay, lesbian or whatever and I've been advertising in the local papers like crazy."

"That should bring even more people in," Valerie said. "Tommy and I would join, but it's too far from where we live and I think we'd end up not going as much."

"You're right," Jamie agreed. "I always tell people to find a gym close to where they live or work. Otherwise, it's too hard to go." Jamie answered Valerie's rather exhaustive list of questions, although she found it nearly impossible to focus on anything other than her need for Miranda and the incredible softness of Miranda's hand in hers.

"So, this must be Jamie, I assume?" Tommy asked as he came up next to Valerie.

Miranda nodded. "Jamie, this is Tommy Fuller, my brother-in-law. I don't think you had a chance to meet him at Eve's party."

"No I didn't."

"Tommy, this is Jamie Jeffries, she's the owner of the gym and my... well, she's the owner of the gym."

"And I'm her girlfriend is what she really meant to say." Jamie had a twinkle in her eye as she held out her hand. "Pleased to meet you."

Tommy shook her hand. "Same here. So, you're Miranda's girlfriend, huh?" Tommy winked at Miranda as he emphasized the word girlfriend. "I'm sure glad to hear that."

"Thanks. So am I." Jamie returned Tommy's smile, glancing briefly at Miranda.

"Congratulations on your new gym," Tommy went on. "Here's to your success." He lifted his recently emptied champagne glass as if making a toast. "Let Miranda know if you need any legal advice. Business law is my specialty."

"Thanks, but I already have someone. I'll keep it in mind, though."

"What do they have to eat over there, Tommy? I'm getting a little hungry." Valerie tugged at his shirt sleeve and jerked her head toward the food several times. Then she winked and said, "Why don't you take me over there?"

"They've got some great munchies and a huge tray of fresh fruit. Come on, I'll show you." Tommy held out his arm.

"Excuse us will you? We'll catch up with you two a little later," Valerie said as she hooked her arm in Tommy's and they took off, leaving Miranda and Jamie alone.

"COME WITH ME." As if she couldn't wait any longer, Jamie led Miranda to a secluded corner of the room and with Miranda's hands in hers, spoke to her in hushed tones. "I missed you so much this week. I couldn't wait to see you again, to kiss you and to touch you. I never thought I could want someone this much."

"It was the same for me. I've been aching for you all week." Miranda fell into Jamie's adoring eyes and for her, nothing else existed. "You take my breath away. When I saw you tonight, I was sure my heart would stop."

"And when I saw you, I thought mine would wear itself out from beating so hard. No one has ever looked as good to me as you did when you walked toward me."

"I could see it on your face when you looked at me." Miranda freed one of her hands and laid it on Jamie's jacket, just above her left breast. "Your heart is still pounding."

Jamie placed her hand on Miranda's chest in the identical spot. "So is yours."

Miranda backed up a step and checked Jamie out from head to toe. "Have I told you how incredibly gorgeous you look tonight?"

Underneath her tailored suit jacket, Jamie wore a formal shirt, crisp and white, with tiny vertical tucks down the center and small black buttons, the first three left unfastened. A suggestion of cleavage caught Miranda's eye, causing her insides to dissolve as a swift and vivid memory of Jamie's breasts seized control of her senses.

"So, you like what you see, huh?"

"God, do I ever." Miranda moved closer and slid her hands under Jamie's jacket. With her hands on Jamie's waist, she pulled Jamie to her until no space remained between them. "Did you mean what you told Tommy about being my girlfriend?"

"I hope you want me to be." Jamie took one of Miranda's hands, lifted it to her mouth and kissed it. "Please say you want me to be."

"I want you to be, more than you know. I guess I can't kiss you here, can I?"

"I guess not, although I'm almost beyond caring and I'm about to touch you in a very intimate way in front of anyone who can see us." Jamie looked around the room and then back at Miranda. "I've got an idea. Come on." Pulling steadily on Miranda's hand, Jamie zigzagged through the crowd and made a beeline straight to a door in the back of the gym.

"What's this?" Miranda asked as Jamie unlocked the door.

"This is my private office, but it's not very private as you can see." Jamie waved her arm at the glass walls that enclosed the space. "I had it built this way so I could keep an eye on what's going on out there in the gym." She fished a key out of the top drawer of her desk and unlocked another door that led from her office. "Let's go in here." She held the door open while Miranda went inside.

Jamie locked the door to the conference room behind them. "There, this is more like it. No one can see us in here."

"I've wanted you so much." Miranda threw her arms around Jamie and walked her backward until she was up against the edge of the conference table. "I had a wicked hard time paying attention at the conference and working and thinking about anything but you. All I wanted was this." Fitting the length of her body to Jamie's she covered her mouth, kissing her with unbridled urgency.

Jamie broke away and moaned against Miranda's mouth. "God, Miranda, I can't survive anymore without your kisses, your touch."

With her hips planted firmly against Jamie's, Miranda fingered the narrow satin lapels of Jamie's jacket. "Do you have any idea how sexy you are in this suit?" Lifting the jacket from Jamie's shoulders, she tossed it onto the table behind them. "And this shirt...God, this shirt." After opening one more button, Miranda had access to the soft swell of breasts above Jamie's bra. Lowering her head, she kissed both sides and then, panting with need, she yanked Jamie's shirt tails from her slacks and ran her hands up the smooth bare skin of her spine. In one smooth motion, she unhooked Jamie's bra and pushed it aside to expose her breasts. Cradling one breast in her hand, she took the nipple into her mouth.

"Jesus, Miranda," Jamie moaned, her breathing erratic, her face strained. "It feels so good, so damned good. I thought I'd die if you didn't touch me soon."

"I'm touching you now, baby." With trembling hands, Miranda unbuttoned Jamie's slacks and slid the zipper down. "I'm touching you right here, right now." She slid her hand inside Jamie's panties and groaned when she felt her. "I knew you'd feel like this."

"Oh...oh, God, Miranda." Jamie slid her own hand inside her panties and laid it on top of Miranda's, pushing Miranda's hand more firmly against her swollen tissues. Her hand moved with Miranda's as Miranda stroked her and she came almost immediately. "I had no idea you were planning on attacking me like this." Jamie brought Miranda's hand to her lips and tasted her wet fingers. "I taste sweet, but not nearly as sweet as you."

Miranda touched the wet fingers to Jamie's soft lips and then kissed her. "I can taste you on your lips," she whispered, after the kiss ended.

"And do you like how I taste?"

"You know I do. You're sweet and divine, like the nectar of the gods." Miranda's face burned and she struggled to draw breath. Reaching down, she fumbled to open her own slacks with one hand. "Touch me, Jamie," she begged. "I'm so, I'm so..."

Jamie pulled Miranda's shirt from her pants and spread her hands flat on the hot skin of Miranda's lower back before moving them higher to undo the clasp on her bra. As she held Miranda to her with one hand, she used the other to cover one breast and pinch the taut nipple between her fingers.

"Jamie," Miranda whispered, her breath hot on Jamie's neck.

Jamie placed her hand on top of Miranda's where it rested near the open zipper of her pants and guided their joined hands into her panties. She groaned out loud as she slid their fingers through the slick warmth.

"You know where I need you... please," Miranda pleaded, her eyes closed. With her hand still trapped underneath Jamie's, she rubbed her own clitoris.

Jamie plunged two fingers deep inside Miranda. "Touch yourself. Make yourself come while I'm inside you." With their foreheads pressed together, they both looked down and watched as Miranda stroked herself and Jamie thrust into her over and over.

"I love you so much," Jamie murmured.

The orgasm began to gather force, spreading across the floor of Miranda's pelvis, the surging tension opening her, driving her toward release. She groaned loudly and moved her hand over her clitoris faster and faster as she pushed her hips against Jamie's fingers. "Deeper... please."

Feeling Miranda nearing orgasm, Jamie drove into her and in an instant, Miranda cried out and held her breath as she rode out the force of it.

When it was over, Jamie held Miranda against her and tenderly kissed her face.

"I've never done anything like that before." Miranda said. She cradled Jamie's face in the palms of her hands and met her gentle eyes.

"I'm flattered that you felt comfortable enough to do it with me." Jamie kissed her. "Do you know what I really wanted to do?"

Miranda touched Jamie's lower lip with her thumb and shook her head.

"I wanted to lift you up onto that conference table and take you with my mouth, but I couldn't be sure we wouldn't be interrupted." Jamie kissed Miranda's thumb and sucked it into her mouth.

"Mmm...your mouth on me? Can I have a rain check?"

"You bet, but why wait for rain." Jamie kissed Miranda's indescribably warm, supple mouth. Once she'd feasted long enough to satisfy her, at least temporarily, she said, "I guess we'd better get back out there. I haven't talked to everyone yet and I don't want to be rude to any of my guests."

"I know. My sister's probably looking for us and she'll find us, trust me. She should get a job for the CIA or the FBI. They could use her." Miranda straightened her clothing while Jamie did the same. When she decided she was presentable, she turned to Jamie, her eyes heavy with desire. "I couldn't wait--not another second."

"Me either and I haven't had nearly enough of you. Will you stay with me tonight, after everyone leaves? Please?"

"Of course I will. I was hoping you'd want me to. I even brought a toothbrush."

"I love a woman who plans ahead."

Miranda went over to Jamie, wrapped her arms around her and gazed into her dreamy eyes. "What did you have in mind?"

"How about going to my place?" Jamie continued to reveal her plans in pieces, sealing each part with a kiss. "How about getting in my bed...making love all night...my mouth on you...your mouth on me...sound good?"

"For starters, it sounds wonderful, better than wonderful."

"I can hardly wait."

Miranda shifted from one foot to the other. "I'm sticky and wet. God knows, I don't want to wipe it off, but I'd better use the bathroom before we go back out there. Do you have one in here?"

"There's one in my office. You go first and then I'll use it after you." Jamie ran her fingers through her hair. "You've destroyed me. I must look a fright."

"You? Look a fright? Not even remotely possible. Do you think anyone will be able to tell that we just had sex?"

"I don't know, but you do have a certain telltale glow about you."

"That's just great. Valerie will figure out what we've been doing. She'll know." Miranda stood in front of Jamie again. "Kiss me one more time?"

Jamie held Miranda's chin and kissed her tenderly. "I love you."

"I know, Jamie. I know you do."

Chapter Twenty-Seven

THEY FOUND VALERIE and Tommy near the champagne table. When she spotted them, Valerie looked a bit peeved. "Where'd you two run off to? I looked all over for you."

"Jamie was showing me her office," Miranda said.

"Uh-huh." Valerie said with her lips pursed. Seconds ticked away as she scrutinized Jamie and Miranda and then she flashed a quick smile. "Nice of you to join us."

Jamie hurriedly picked up two glasses of champagne and handed one to Miranda. "To us," she said, holding her glass up.

"To us." Miranda hit the side of Jamie's glass with hers.

"How sweet." Valerie turned to her husband. "Wasn't that sweet, Tommy?"

"Yeah, sweet as can be." He rolled his eyes toward the ceiling.

The four of them talked for a good hour before Valerie announced that she was ready to go home. "Thanks a lot for having us," she said to Jamie. "We'd love it if you'd come to dinner some night with Miranda, wouldn't we Tommy?" She elbowed Tommy.

"Yeah, sure, we'd love that." Tommy stifled a yawn.

"Forgive my husband. He's not bored, he just works hard."

"That's all right. I know how that is," Jamie said. "About that dinner invitation. I'd love to come, if it's okay with Miranda."

"I'd love it." Miranda smiled, put her arm around Jamie's waist and held her close. "In fact, why don't you come have dinner with us next Friday evening? Remember I told you we get together every Friday? Is that all right with you Val?"

"It sure is. Can you make it Jamie?"

"Yes. I'll look forward to it."

"So will we," Valerie said. "Are you leaving with us, Miranda?"

"No, you two go on without me. I'm staying with Jamie tonight."

"You are, huh?" Valerie smiled again. "Okay, well call me soon, will you?"

"I'll call you tomorrow."

"I won't hold my breath."

Tommy said his goodbyes and gave Miranda a big hug. "Honey, I'll go get the car and pick you up out front in about ten minutes."

"Go ahead." Valerie grabbed Miranda's arm. "Jamie, can you spare Miranda for a minute or two while she walks me to the door? I'll send her right back to you."

"Sure, take your time. I see some people I haven't said hello to yet."

"I REALLY, REALLY like Jamie. She's an absolute doll," Valerie said as she and Miranda walked to the door. "I'm so happy for you."

"I know you are, Sis, and I really like her, too."

"You really like her? Is that the extent of your feelings for her?" Valerie paused in front of the door. "She loves you. I can see it in her eyes. Has she told you yet?"

"Many times." Miranda looked away.

"I knew it! And you? Have you told her you love her?"

"No, not exactly."

"Why not? It's obvious to me that you do."

"I don't know." Miranda shook her head. "I can't seem to say the words. Sometimes I want to and I almost do, but I always stop myself." She rubbed her eyes.

"What's wrong? You do love her don't you?"

Miranda looked at her sister with sad eyes. "It's hard for me, Val."

"I know. Have you? I mean did you? You know what I mean."

"We've made love, if that's what you're asking."

"I kind of thought so. How was it?"

"Like nothing I've ever experienced in my entire life. Like the stars colliding, like the earth moving, like a million comets..."

"Okay, okay. I get the picture. And you still haven't told her you love her?" Valerie held Miranda's hand between her own. "Something this special doesn't come along every day you know. Don't throw it away."

"I know, but this is hard for me. You know why."

"If you're referring to your relationship with Ellen, I do, but I don't want you to blow this. I haven't seen you this happy in a long time and if you ask me, she's the best thing that's ever happened to you. Ever."

"You don't have to tell me that. I know she is."

"I'm glad you do." Valerie paused when they reached the door. "Well listen, I'd better go. Tommy will have a fit if I leave him out there blocking the street. Call me tomorrow or the next day and we'll talk more about this. Go to her and please don't be scared. Try to follow your heart. I'll be here if you need me."

"That's the one sure thing I've always had in my life." Miranda kissed her sister and waved to her as she walked away.

"THERE YOU ARE." Jamie took Miranda's hand in hers as soon as she returned. Together, they circled the room while Jamie chatted with any guests she hadn't spoken to yet. Jamie made a point of introducing Miranda to her trainers, some of whom were old friends of hers from college or from previous jobs. Little by little, the crowd dwindled until, about an hour or so later, the last two people closed the door behind them.

Jamie swept Miranda into her arms, lifted her off the floor and twirled her around. "Alone at last," she said, before kissing Miranda soundly on the lips.

Miranda kissed her back. "What do you say we go to your place?"

"We'll leave soon, but I have something I have to do first. Come to my office with me and keep me company." Jamie headed to her office with Miranda in tow. "I promise I'll behave until we get out of here."

"Actually, I kind of like it when you don't behave."

"Is that so?" Jamie smiled and winked. "I'll keep that in mind." She sat in front of her computer and logged on. "I've got a little work to do. Just let me finish this up and we'll get out of here. It won't take long, I promise." Jamie worked for about ten minutes while Miranda sat on the other side of the desk, reading a copy of an article about Jamie from a local newspaper.

A few more minutes passed before Miranda laid the article down. "Jamie?"

"What is it?" Jamie asked without looking at Miranda.

Miranda clasped her shaking hands together in her lap and gathered as much strength as she possessed. The brief talk she'd had with Valerie had upset her and she hadn't been able to shake it off. She knew she hadn't been fair to Jamie and she also knew that things would never be right between them until she dealt honestly and openly with her feelings. "There's something I need to talk to you about."

"Hang on a minute. I'm almost finished," Jamie kept her eyes glued to the computer monitor screen. "Just have to log off and shut her down." When the screen went black, she swiveled around in her chair, put her elbows on the desk and faced Miranda. "Okay, you've got my undivided attention. Now, what's on your mind?"

"I feel awful about something." Miranda choked the words out and her eyes filled with tears. "I have to tell you, I..." Tears flowed down her cheeks.

"Are you crying?" Jamie got out of her chair and knelt on the floor in front of Miranda. She held her trembling hands. "What's the matter?"

"I don't want you to think...I mean, I..." Miranda searched for the right words to say. "I want you to know that I heard you all those times--all those times when you told me you loved me. I'm sorry I haven't said the words back to you."

"Why haven't you?" Jamie asked. "I needed to hear them so much, but I was afraid to ask. I was afraid you hadn't said it because you didn't really love me. I thought maybe it was just a physical thing for you."

"Oh, no. I wanted to be sure, I..." Miranda turned her head away in shame. Jamie's eyes were so sad and yet they were so full of compassion.

"No. Don't turn away." Jamie gently used her hand to turn Miranda's face toward her. "Look at me, Miranda. I asked you this on the ship and I'm asking you again. Who was she and what did she do to you? Whatever it was, it's coming between us and it always will unless you tell me about it and get it off your chest once and for all."

"I know you're right. I need to talk about this." Miranda squeezed Jamie's hands and drew in a deep breath. She looked down at her lap while she talked. "Her name was Ellen. I met her in the hospital while I was doing my residency. She was an administrator and she was so gorgeous, she knocked me off my feet. I fell for her right away and I fell hard, Jamie. I couldn't help it, I just..."

"Go on, keep talking. You're doing fine."

"She was attractive and sexy and flirtatious and it seemed like everyone wanted to be with her, but she chose me. She said she only wanted to be with me...no one else. Soon after we met, we became lovers and soon after that we bought a house together. We lived together for eight years, but she..." Miranda wiped a tear from her cheek.

"I can see where this is headed, you think..."

"Wait. Let me get this out while I still can." Miranda took another deep breath. "I was proud to be the one she chose to be with. Everyone we knew envied us and I'm ashamed to admit it, but it made me feel very special to be the one she wanted. I talked myself into believing that her constant flirting was harmless."

"So that's why you didn't like it when you thought I was flirting?"

"I had no right to judge you like that, Jamie." Miranda allowed her eyes to seek solace in Jamie's eyes and in them she found the courage to continue. "I tried hard not to let her behavior bother me--I'm not usually a possessive person or anything like that. I never thought her flirting was serious or that it would lead to anything." Miranda hung her head again and closed her eyes.

"Go on. Tell me the rest." Jamie lifted Miranda's chin and met her sad eyes.

"The first time I caught on to the fact that she was cheating was right after our fourth anniversary. We had a party and one of our friends brought someone new along. She was really cute and Ellen flirted shamelessly with her. At the end of the evening, they were standing off in the corner, alone, and I saw the woman hand Ellen a piece of paper. When I asked about it later, she said it was just the name of a restaurant, but I suspected phone numbers had been exchanged. I told her what I thought and she laughed it off--said I was imagining things." Miranda paused, tears now running in steady streams down her cheeks. "I...I believed her."

Jamie tenderly wiped them away. "Don't stop now, you're doing fine."

"Right after that, she started staying late at work. Then the emergency weekend trips began, usually when I had to work or couldn't go with her. She'd tell me a friend broke up with someone and needed to talk or her mother was sick or she had to do something for work. I thought she was up to something, but I wanted to believe her, I needed to believe her, so I fooled myself into thinking I did."

"Do you think she was with that woman?"

Miranda nodded. "I knew it in my heart and about two months later after it was over between them she admitted it--but that wasn't the only woman and those weren't the only lies. Now that I look back on it, I bet I didn't even know the half of what she was up to. Boy, could she ever lie...so convincingly, so easily."

"I'm so sorry." Jamie kissed her hand.

"You must think I was stupid to have believed her lies."

"No, no I don't. I think she was the stupid one."

"Well, I think I was stupid and foolish. I'm so ashamed of myself. I just didn't want to believe that she would do those things to me. How could she say she loved me and then do those things to me?" Miranda shook her head, her face filled with pain. "How could anyone do those things to someone?" She looked at Jamie, knowing that she could not answer those questions--knowing that no one could.

"I don't know. I just don't know. Why didn't you leave her?"

"I should have, but each time I threatened to leave, she'd stop fooling around, she'd promise me she'd never do it again, she'd say she loved me--blah, blah, blah. Our life would be good again for a while and then she'd start all over with someone new. I can't tell you how many nights I cried myself to sleep knowing she was with someone else. I used to curse at myself for being in love with someone so shallow and cruel."

"Loving her wasn't the problem."

"But I knew how she was and I should have known better than to get involved with someone like her. She was beautiful, but she was deadly. I guess I thought if I loved her enough for both of us, my love would change her, somehow." Miranda was silent for a moment. "You know what I regret the most?"

"What, my love?"

"That I didn't leave her before she left me. You don't know how I wish I had. One night I came home from work and she was moving out. It was humiliating."

"Don't blame yourself because she was a rotten person. It's not easy to walk away from someone you love. I know it wouldn't be for you." Jamie rubbed Miranda's arm. "Tell me the truth. Are you thinking I might cheat on you and leave you like she did?"

"No, maybe..." Miranda looked at the floor. "I don't know."

"I wouldn't. Look at me Miranda. I wouldn't."

Miranda looked up at Jamie. "How can you say that?"

"Because it's not my style and because I'd never do anything like that to you. I love you and I wouldn't want to be with anyone else. I promise you if our relationship isn't working, you'll be the first to know and we'll decide what to do about it, together."

"But you're even more attractive than she was. I see the way people look at you. You could have anyone...anyone at all."

"But I told you I don't..."

"Listen, Jamie. I understand that monogamy isn't the right fit for everyone, I really do. I don't have a problem with that. It's just that it feels right for me. I guess it's how I'm put together, emotionally."

"Well, it happens to be the right fit for me and I'm nothing like her. I want to build a life with someone I can count on. I want that someone to be you."

"But, what if you get tired of me? When our relationship gets comfortable and routine, it might not be so exciting for you anymore."

"I like comfortable," Jamie persisted. "And besides, how could I ever get tired of you? You're intelligent and fun to be with and I can't imagine ever getting tired of looking at you, talking to you or making love to you."

"You really mean it?"

"I mean it with all my heart, so stop trying to talk me out of this relationship, because I'm not giving up on you." Jamie brought Miranda's hands to her mouth and kissed them and with her eyes closed, she pleaded, "Please take a chance on me and don't let your fear ruin what we have. I couldn't bear to lose you again, not now."

"What if you decide you want someone else?"

Jamie sighed. "Miranda, I really think you should stop holding my looks against me. Just because I'm attractive does not mean I'm frivolous and irresponsible."

"I don't, I..."

Jamie held her finger against Miranda's lips, just for a second. "Yes, you do. I never have enjoyed the kind of attention I get because of my looks. It's superficial and meaningless. If so many people want me, how come I'm so alone? I don't see anyone waiting in line just to be there for me when I'm sick or upset or feeling lonely. You're the only one."

"It breaks my heart to think of you being lonely."

"Well I have been. It makes me feel even more lonely when people want to be with me, but don't care about who I am inside. That's the worst feeling of all."

"I care about you and I know how beautiful you are inside--how tender and loving and sweet you are. I don't want you to be lonely, ever again." Miranda brought Jamie's hand to her face, pressed it against her cheek and closed her eyes.

"I want so much for you to trust me, Miranda. You're the prettiest woman I've ever known and yet I don't think that means I can't trust you."

"I want to trust you. Tell me I can."

"You can." Jamie looked her straight in the eye. "I promise I won't let you down. I'm as sure about us as I can possibly be and I want you more than anything."

"Don't you know you have me? I want you as much as you want me."

"Thank God," Jamie whispered.

"There's something else I want you to know. I love how sexy and attractive you are. I love to look at you and touch you. I love everything about you. There's no one but you."

"Then what worries you so much?"

"I can't explain it. I feel so silly."

"You're not silly. You feel things deeply and they mean a lot to you."

"I was so hurt by her, Jamie. That's why I left Raleigh and moved here to be near my sister. That's why I went to work on the cruise ships." Miranda sought refuge in Jamie's soothing blue eyes and for the first time, she felt the bitter stench of her past float away like a patch of foul air. The corners of her mouth lifted a little, then a little more, and then she lit up with a full-blown smile and said, "Ellen can go to hell for all I care. She never was worth it and she never deserved me."

"Yeah, to hell with Ellen. It's her loss." Jamie smiled back.

"Jamie, my sweet, sweet, Jamie. I know I should just let this happen."

"Why don't you?" Jamie asked. "Because I love you so much."

Miranda stood up, pulling Jamie with her. "You must know how much I love you by now, but it's time I actually told you." She held Jamie at arms length and looked into her eyes. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you."

Jamie laughed softly, kissed Miranda and gathered her into her arms. "Now, that just might begin to make up for all the times you couldn't tell me." She laid her cheek against Miranda's and stroked her hair. "I have a confession to make. It almost broke my heart when you didn't say the words back to me. I thought you loved me from the way you looked at me, the way you wanted me, the way you acted toward me, but I had to face the fact that you might not love me and I would have died if that were true."

"I wanted to say it, so many times. I love you with all my heart and I don't want you to ever think that I don't, not for one more minute."

"When did you first know you loved me?"

"I fell in love with you that night on the deck when you held me for the first time. You were so tender." Miranda's face filled with pain again. "I made such a terrible mistake when I let you go. I'd already given you my heart and when I left you on the ship, I left it behind. I longed for you all those months and yet, I can't explain why I didn't call or try to find you. When I think of how I almost lost you forever, I can't bear it."

"You didn't lose me because we were meant to be together."

"Thank God, because losing you would have been the worst thing that ever happened to me." Miranda snuggled into Jamie's neck and ran her hands up and down Jamie's back. "I want to be happy, Jamie, and I'm the happiest when I'm with you."

"Happy doesn't begin to describe the way I feel when I'm with you." Jamie kissed her and stepped away. "Look, Doctor, I'm done here, so if you're ready, why don't we go to my place? I want to spend the rest of the night showing you how much I love you."

"You already have. It's me that needs to show you."

"You already have." Jamie's face changed. "Hold on a minute, I've got one more question before we leave."

"What is it?" Miranda furrowed her brow. What was Jamie up to? She looked serious a moment ago and now a tiny gremlin of a smirk lurked beneath the surface.

"Where are we going for our honeymoon?"

"Our honeymoon?" Miranda's brow softened and she grinned from ear to ear. Holding the tip of her index finger to her cheek, she pretended to be deep in thought. "Boy, that's a tough one...let me see. What would be special enough?"

"It has to be very special."

"I've got it! How about a Mediterranean cruise?"

"That's funny, very funny." Jamie laughed.

"No? Had enough of that, huh?" Miranda laughed, feeling happier than she had in years. "I have a better idea. Let's go back to Venice. I should have been there with you that day you asked me to go and I said no. I wanted to see it with you. Then we could head down to Florence and Tuscany or anywhere else in Italy you'd like to see."

"Ah...Venice." Jamie's face lit up and she beamed. "Yeah, Venice. Now, that might be special enough for the two of us."

"I think so. At least it's a good place to start."

The End

Other Yellow Rose Books You Might Also Enjoy

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About the Author

Janet Albert was born and raised in Johnson City, New York. After living and working in Philadelphia for many years, first as a trauma and critical care nurse and then later as a school nurse, she moved to a place of solitude in the scenic mountains of Northeastern Pennsylvania where she lives with her partner, Mary, and two cats. Besides spending enormous amounts of time writing, she enjoys reading, traveling, being out in nature and delighting her family and friends with her cooking skills.

Because she's an avid fan of lesbian romance fiction, she hopes to make a contribution by writing the kinds of stories she enjoys reading. She also hopes to add to the ever increasing number of books that celebrate and affirm the lives of lesbians. After all, it seems there are never enough of them.

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Table of Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven