Strong to Save [The Amazons #1]

by Susanna Valent

Renaissance - Science Fiction

Copyright (C)2004 by Susanna Valent

THE AMAZONS

Book 1

STRONG TO SAVE

By

SUSANNA VALENT

A Renaissance E Books publication

ISBN 1-58873-336-X

All rights reserved

Copyright © 2004 Susanna Valent

This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission.

For information email:

publisher@renebooks.com

A PageTurner/Futures-Past Science Fiction

Eternal Father, strong to save,

Whose arm hath bound the restless wave,

Who bidd'st the mighty ocean deep

Its own appointed limits keep,

Oh, hear us when we cry to thee

For those in peril on the sea!

-William Whiting (1825-1878)

PROLOGUE

“Captain Nordstrom?"

The tall, auburn-haired woman turned from her reverie at the porthole of her day cabin. She nodded. “All right.” Stepping to the mirror over the sink, she checked her tie, her decorations, her brass, her sword, all for the last time. She took a deep breath and tugged at the hem of her dress coat. “Let's go."

The slender, blond commander stood aside so that she could precede him out, then reached in and closed the door behind them.

“Captain,” he said, coming up behind her as they headed aft, “if I may say so, I'll miss you. All of us will."

She stopped and turned to look at him, and he marveled again at the clarity of her piercing blue-gray eyes. They were the eyes of a teenager still, not those of a twenty-year veteran sailor. “Thank you, Richard. I'll miss you, too. And the crew. And this ship.” She patted the rail and he saw the sudden brightness in her eyes, and suddenly wished he had kept his peace. There was a slight quaver in her low, melodious voice and he felt genuine regret.

Then she straightened and seemed to pull herself together. “All the same, it's time for something new.” And she turned and strode purposefully toward the flight deck to turn over her command to the new captain, and to retire from the Coast Guard, and to set sail again, however figuratively, into her future.

Arriving at the flight deck, where the band was tuning amid the ceremonial bunting and a sea of folding chairs, Kris noted the admiral had yet to arrive, which was only proper. It wouldn't do to keep him waiting. She nodded to Richard, releasing him to attend to his other duties, and seated herself, holding a copy of the program. She smiled and chatted briefly with the dignitaries and guests nearest her, then settled herself and let her mind drift back to three years ago, the day she had assumed command of the Reno. She was one of the Coast Guard's finest ships, a High Endurance Cutter of over 3000 tons and a crew of nearly 170. The only larger ships in the flotilla were the Polar Icebreakers. The Reno was the largest ship ever commanded by a woman, and she had been the first, and was still the only one, to carry that responsibility. It was the pinnacle of her career, and she really hated to give it up, even after three years in the North Atlantic, but she knew she had to be realistic. Unlike James T. Kirk of the Enterprise, she couldn't stay a captain on active duty until she died. If she had accepted a promotion to rear admiral, she still would have lost her command for a desk job.

Three years ago. It had been the most peculiar of times for a woman to take command of a large, high-profile vessel. Things were far worse now, of course but even then, the professional and political picture for women in America had begun to go wrong. Very wrong.

* * * *

It was June, 2003. Kris Nordstrom was nervous, and she felt foolish. She had been a captain before, but this was different. She hadn't been the first female captain of a buoy tender or a patrol boat, but the Reno was big; seriously big. So big that she had her own chopper. So big that if she were naval, she'd be called a frigate. And this time, Kris was a real captain, too, an O-6, a four-striper. She would always be called “Captain” now, everywhere, by everyone, not just aboard her own ship.

As soon as her promotion to captain had been announced, she was offered the command of the Reno. She had expected it, hoped for it, believed she deserved it for years, but it was exciting nonetheless. Every previous assignment since she was a junior officer had been education for command, preparation for command, or command itself. She was born to lead, and she knew it, and so did everyone else, ever since she had been first in her class at the Academy. Three early promotions, to lieutenant commander, commander and captain had merely reinforced her belief in herself. Her only concern had been that, instead of the big cutter, they might offer her one of the Polar Ice Breakers, and she really didn't want to spend years freezing her ass off thousands of miles from civilization. She had served as Exec on a cutter for two years, and that was enough.

She had taken command of the Reno on a cloudless day under a cobalt sky, self-conscious and proud as hell. She had invited what little family she had, and although her brother Harry had pleaded work as an excuse not to come, her nieces Danielle and Carol had nagged their mother, Cindy, into the drive from Dayton to Boston. Kris had met them at the gangplank that morning, just before the ceremony.

“Request permission to come aboard, Captain,” thirteen year-old Danielle had recited solemnly, as her adored Aunt Kris had taught them to do aboard her own boats as they were growing up. Wide-eyed Carol, two years younger, stood silently behind her big sister, clearly awed by the decorations, the band, the dress uniforms and above all, their imposing aunt.

But Kris had laughed and gathered both of them into her arms. “Permission granted, my loves,” she mumbled into their sweet, shiny hair, able to forget everything else, just for a moment.

She couldn't have loved them more if they had been her own. Yet, if she had had children, she might not have become the brilliant, dashing officer Danielle and Carol hoped to follow to the sea, to maritime careers of their own. Clearly, they didn't wish to follow their mother into homemaking, or their father into grocery management.

Behind her daughters, Cindy Nordstrom had stood stiffly in her pleated paisley dress, with its little round, white collar, and a flat hat with a feather. She was well out of her element and obviously wishing she were anywhere else, preferably her kitchen, her church or K-Mart. But she knew that if she hadn't brought her daughters to their aunt's big event, they would have given her even more trouble about wanting more. More technical classes, more computer gear, more adventure camps, more things it was useless for girls to want with the changes, however belated but still welcome, that were being driven by the New Republican Nation, The Islamic National Coalition, and the Oath-Takers. They had promised that if she took them to Massachusetts, they would spend time with her learning to cook that summer. She was determined to keep her part of the bargain and hold them to theirs.

Kris released her adolescent admirers and gave Cindy a quick hug. She tried her best to be welcoming, always, for the girls’ sake, but she was permanently on Cindy's shit list, not only for the adoration of her nieces, but for her career, her financial independence, her feminism, her personal freedom. They smiled thinly at one another and then Kris turned them over to a junior officer to escort them aft to the flight deck.

The ceremony had seemed brief, but it was impressive all the same. Even now Kris remembered how surprised she had been that day, whenever she brought her right arm up to salute, to see four gold stripes on her sea-blue sleeve. She usually didn't see her rank, as it was more often pinned to her collar or worn on small epaulets. She tried hard not to be smug, tried instead to be the contained, consummate professional she was, but it thrilled her every time. I am a Captain, she told herself. I am the Captain. I am the Captain of the Reno.

* * * *

Kris was brought back to the present as Vice Admiral Cuthbert was piped aboard and everyone rose. The ceremony, for her the reverse of her assumption of command three years ago, began with the playing of the National Anthem. When she presented arms, her gold stripes weren't as bright as before, but she was still, and would always be, a captain, even in retirement. Hell, she thought, I'm young! They may call me “the old lady,” but there's still a lot of life in me.

Kris stood straight and tall, eyes to the front, as proud as she had been the day she was commissioned, and almost as teary-eyed. It was something she had learned to control, albeit not without difficulty, over the years. Her family wasn't there this time, and she didn't blame them. Not only were Danielle and Carol half-angry, half-disappointed, that she was retiring so young, without becoming an admiral, but this time there were added complications. Women travelling without a male escort were often harassed by conservative extremists and Kris wouldn't have put anyone she loved through that. The thought almost made her grimace, but she suppressed it. That complication was a symptom of a terrible disease that had been sweeping the country for nearly six years now. It was called the Hearth and Home Movement, but it was far worse than that. It was institutionalized misogyny. And it was that same complication that was driving Kris’ relatively early retirement. She could theoretically have stayed another ten years, but it was her considered opinion, as a student of history and an observer of politics, that if she didn't retire while she could, she might conceivably lose all the retirement benefits that were her reward for having devoted her entire adult life to the Coast Guard and her country.

She looked around at the audience as they took their seats. Far fewer women were in attendance than had been there three years ago. Fewer than ten percent of the already insignificant number of women were in uniform. All of the female civilians wore mid-calf length skirts or dresses and were escorted by men. Kris was sure it was the beginning of a living nightmare. She had to get out; out of the Coast Guard and out of the country. She was very much afraid that if she didn't, one day soon it would be too late.

Once the crowd was settled, the admiral approached the podium and launched into his usual boring change of command speech. Kris had heard it so often she could practically lip-synch it, and now that she was leaving, it took all of her self-control not to fidget. Once again, her mind drifted back three years.

* * * *

Once she had assumed command that bright June day, and the official ceremonies were over, Kris took her nieces and best friend, Andrea Santiago, on a tour of the Reno. Cindy returned to Kris’ motor yacht, Athena, to sulk until it was time for dinner at the Officers’ Club.

“These are the best turbine engines, absolutely the most fuel-efficient and environmentally the least polluting,” Andrea was explaining to Danielle and Carol down in the engineering spaces. She went into technical detail which they absorbed like little sponges. Kris grinned, half-proud but half-concerned that they would have little use for such information in what might prove to be an extremely limited future. She kept her thoughts to herself, resolved to enjoy her nieces’ company for as long as they were there, willing to tolerate Cindy's tight-lipped disapproval for the sake of harmony on such a festive occasion, and determined to return to the lounge of the club with Andy once her family was safely back aboard Athena. She couldn't stay ashore and they couldn't stay on the Reno, so they had to compromise but it was better than no visit at all.

Finally she and Andy were free to discuss whatever they wanted, and Kris immediately said, “Andy, I almost wonder why they gave me a command again at all, when you think about the way things are going in Congress, and at the state and local levels.” She sipped her beer pensively.

“Relax, Kris, and enjoy it. I personally think it's all hype, rhetoric and politics, not real-world. The liberals will take Congress back in ‘04, now that they've had the fear of God put in them,” she predicted. She was a wiry, fiery Latina, one of the best engineers the Academy had ever produced, but she wasn't in the Coast Guard anymore. She and Kris had never discussed why, in order to protect Kris and her career, but Kris knew Andy was a lesbian, and that she had resigned in order to avoid being caught and thrown out. She lived in Oakland now, working on the Bay Area ferries.

“Look,” Andy went on, “for better or worse, the New Republican Nation is concentrating on homosexuals and pro-choicers right now. They're not going to get around to women in the military for a while, and with any luck they'll be out of power before they can anyway."

“But what if they stay in power? What if they do start looking at military women?” Kris leaned forward, the power of her intense gaze focused on Andy. “What's that going to mean, not just for me, but my nieces? I'm afraid for them."

“Yeah. Your brother's an Oaf, isn't he?"

“In more ways than one,” Kris had to smile. Her brother Harry belonged to the Oath-Takers, derisively referred to as Oafs. They were a conservative, religious men's group that had taken on the state of what they perceived as the nation's moral depravity as a holy cause. Their posters, ads, rallies and marches were so numerous as to be unremarkable any more, and that was scary. As the Jews in Germany got used to the Hitler Youth, so the women of the United States seemed to be accepting the presence and ranting of the Oafs, and that was even scarier than the Oafs themselves.

“Well, it's mostly a social problem right now, not a legal one,” Andy said, leaning over to reassure Kris with a pat on the knee. “We'll get it stopped before it comes to that."

“I sincerely hope you're right,” Kris had replied, and then the conversation turned to less weighty matters. But Kris remained alert and wary.

* * * *

Admiral Cuthbert finally stopped talking and at his invitation, Kris and her successor rose. He was a burly man with dark hair, slicked back, and unreadable eyes. She didn't like him, especially what he symbolized to her, and so she had practiced in her quarters, and rehearsed it mentally, and so she managed to smoothly recite, “I relinquish command,” handing over her unit colors without shedding a tear or permitting a snarl to escape her lips. Then she remained at attention while Richard read the citation to accompany the award of the Coast Guard Distinguished Service Medal, the highest peacetime decoration a retiring captain could hope to receive. At the same time, however, Kris took great satisfaction in remembering how she had earned hers, with Search and Rescue missions, interdiction of drug smuggling operations, two tours of Gulf War escort duty, freezing Arctic and North Atlantic patrols, and representing the Coast Guard in joint assignments. She had done more than most.

The admiral, shorter than Kris and with curly graying hair, pinned the gold medal, hanging from a ribbon of purple and light blue, to the front of her coat, over her heart. They smiled sadly, for he hadn't wanted her to retire, and shook hands, murmuring the meaningless platitudes customarily exchanged upon such occasions. She and the admiral faced the guests and stood at attention while Richard read her bio and her retirement orders. After another exchange of salutes, they left the platform to review the honor guard to the strains of “Semper Paratus.” Finally they were dismissed, and there followed nearly another hour of hand-shaking and well-wishing until Kris was finally free to salute the Union Jack for the last time and proceed ashore, lugging a last armful of retirement paraphernalia.

Reaching her rental car, she removed her sword-belt, jacket and dress hat, loosened her tie and slid behind the wheel. It felt odd, another first, another symbol of the severing of her ties with the Coast Guard. As a ship's captain she had been entitled to a staff car in port, usually a late model American sedan. She had deliberately rented a European sports car for a sort of last fling, and it was with a sigh of relief that she drove across the installation with the top down, the wind whipping her thick, short hair and the sun glinting off a pair of dark glasses that made her look more glamorous than she realized. She probably exceeded the speed limit once or twice on her way to the tiny marina. More freedom.

As she swung into her space across from Athena's slip, she admired the sleek lines and glistening brightwork with the same immense satisfaction she had always felt, since the day twelve years ago that she had personally confiscated it from South American drug runners off Key West. She knew that instant, as soon as the yacht was available for bidding, she would own it, or it would own her, no matter how deeply she might have to mortgage herself to do it.

“Hello, sweetheart,” she muttered under her breath. “Mommy's home."

As it turned out, she hadn't had to go into debt at all, just sell her sailboat of the moment plus the tiny winterized cottage she had owned on the Connecticut shore at the time. She still remembered with amusement how stunned her brother was when she casually mentioned she had sold her house. He had taken for granted his free summer vacations on the Sound every year. Of course she had immediately offered, “Come on and stay on the yacht! Plenty of room!"

He declined to take her up on her offer after their only stay on Athena. Usually when the family came to visit, Kris stayed on her boat at her dock, leaving the house for them. It was never long before her nieces were sneaking down to sleep there overnight, or to play “navy” or “pirate” or whatever idea took their fancies that moment. Their nocturnal disappearances terrified their parents and created a rift that widened every time they began a sentence with “Aunt Kris says."

Then there was the fact that even on her private boats, she was the captain, and that was a bit much for Harry, who was as traditional as their Dad had been, and he had disapproved of Kris’ career until the day he died. Harry could do without the reminders of her position, her prestige, her success. There was no shame in managing a grocery store, but no fame or glory, either.

But the older the girls got, the more time they wanted to spend with their exciting young aunt, so Harry and Cindy either sent them on a plane or let Kris come and get them, as long as they called home every night. It was a small enough price for Kris to pay for the pleasure of their company and the enormous satisfaction she derived from influencing them, not only in their behavior and attitudes but their possible career preferences.

Still chuckling to herself, Kris gathered up the shadow box and other items she had had thrust upon her to mark her retirement and carried them aboard Athena. “Still Captain here, Nordstrom,” she reminded herself as she descended from the wheelhouse to the luxurious yet austere lounge below. As was her habit, she stowed everything immediately, properly, in the places she had prepared for them. The shadow box with all her insignia, medals, unit patches and a folded flag went into a secure slot in her wall unit. Danielle and Carol would enjoy that, whenever they got to see it. Biting her lip, she took it out again. Those damnable Oafs! she thought. I'd better take it along and show them now. She put it with the smaller shadow boxes she had made for each niece, containing mementos of her career and pictures of the three of them on her various personal boats, and her Coast Guard ships. Kris honestly didn't know if or when they'd vacation together again after this. She wanted the memories to last a good long time.

Of course her bags were packed and ready in her stateroom. She changed quickly to a short-sleeved uniform shirt. She hated travelling in uniform, but it was like a suit of armor these days, and gave her a chance to actually wear her new ribbon before her retirement was effective in two months. She had saved her leave for just such an event as dealing with Oafs while travelling in the US. She made sure the yacht was secure, loaded the car and drove away again, heading west to Ohio.

She had been “retired” for two hours, and she was 42 years old.

CHAPTER 1

TotalNet News Ticker, September 8, 2000. Washington, DC. The President will be faced with several civil suits as he leaves office in January. It is widely rumored that his finances can't begin to cover the cost of his team of defense attorneys.

* * * *

“Mamacita, please stop crying!” Andrea Santiago had pleaded, in tears herself. Her mother cried easily no matter the circumstances, but in this case, she might easily cry for three weeks.

“You are going to hell!” the older woman wailed as she plowed through a box of tissues.

This is a disaster, Andy thought. Although she hadn't expected anything different, she had hoped that seeing her in person might move her mother to acceptance, if not understanding. She had deliberately come in the middle of the day when her father was sure to be at work. She sat down and covered her mother's clenched fist with her own hand. “Mama, I am not going to hell. I'm just going back up to San Francisco, and yes, I am going to be with Lorraine. That's where we live, and it's where her business is. You can come visit, you and Papa and everybody.” She turned her glossy black head slightly to avoid the gaze of the Jesus with the bloody heart that adorned the wall over the counter behind her mother's chair.

“No! I will not go without Papa, and he will not go to see you and your ... your...” Rosa Santiago shook her head sadly. She could not find the proper word.

“Lover. Mate. Spouse. Wife. Partner,” Andy said. “They're just words, Mama. But she and I are to each other as you and Papa are.” She sighed. “Look, you cried when I went to New London. In all the years since I graduated I never managed to be stationed out here. Now I'll only be a few hours drive away. I thought you would be happy.” She had thought no such thing, but it sounded reasonable.

“I will be happy when you come here with your husband, when you are married and you give me grandchildren.” She boo-hooed as if Andrea were dead and not merely a lesbian.

Andy rolled her eyes and shook her head, since her mother had covered her face with her tissue. “Mama, you already have five grandchildren, and we are married. Lorraine and I went to City Hall as soon as we got into San Francisco. As soon as my terminal leave expired, remember? They passed the law and we did it as soon as we could. Now we want to have a nice reception, and we want you to come."

“No! It is ... abomination!” She rose from her chair with a terrible look of injury and anger. “You go to your ... whatever she is. She is not your husband. Come here when you are ready to be a good, Christian woman, like we teach you. You go.” She yanked the door open and stood there, waiting for Andy to leave her alone with her loss.

“All right, Mama. Look,” Andy got up and hunted beside the phone for a pad and pencil. “This is our number. I'll call you when we set a date for the reception, when the house is fixed up, whenever anything important is happening. Here's the address, too. Maybe you'll come see us.” She went to kiss her mother, but the older woman turned her graying head away. Her tear-stained face broke Andy's heart, and she hugged her mother fiercely and kissed her anyway. “I love you, Mama. Be well. I'll call you soon."

As her mother shut the door, Andy ran down the walkway past the Mary on the half-shell and let herself out the little gate. Lorraine was waiting in the van with all the windows down, smoking.

“It's useless,” Andy said, shaking her head as she got in. “You were right; we shouldn't have come."

Lorraine, who was ten years Andy's senior and beginning to gray slightly, still had a winning smile and undeniable charm. She reached over and gave Andy's thigh a loving squeeze. “It's all right. You did what you had to do, and you did your best. You're a good daughter, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Now, let's go find a nice motel with a pool. I need a drink."

Inwardly, Andy had winced. She wished Lorraine didn't need a drink, rather that she only wanted one. But she had promised to cut way back once they got settled in San Francisco. Lorraine insisted she only drank so much because the Coast Guard, with its restrictions against homosexuality, the same as any other service, drove her crazy by forcing her to stay in the closet. Andy could understand that. Sometimes the Guard drove her to drink, too, only not as often or as much.

That had been September, 2000, and a little more than two years later, Andy and Lorraine were divorced. She and Lorraine had worked Lorraine's family business, a maids for hire service, for about six months until Lorraine, calculating what she could get for it and what she needed to live on, sold it and retired again so she could pursue her favorite activity, drinking.

When they had first returned to San Francisco to set up house after Lorraine retired and Andy resigned, they lived openly for the first time as a married couple. Some of it had been great. They joined a gay-friendly church, got involved in their community, fixed up a “painted lady” in the Castro district and filled the garden with pets and plants. When Lorraine sold out, Andy still had to work so she went job-hunting. She found a job, several in fact, eventually settling into the Bay Area Ferry Division as a diesel/turbine engineer's assistant. Of course, it was starting over at the bottom, but with her skills she rose to a supervisory position in less than a year. She still got her hands dirty almost every day, and she liked that.

But none of the good things that happened to them were sufficient incentive for Lorraine to stop drinking, or even cut back, or to seek help when she realized she couldn't. After “just until I retire,” it became, “just until I sell the business,” and “just until we finish the house and get all these people out of here,” and “just until you find a job you really like,” and so on. It wouldn't have been so bad if Lorraine just fell asleep, but Lorraine was a nasty drunk. Soon she couldn't have sex unless she had booze in her, but a little too much and she became mean, outrageous or just plain ridiculous, and then Andy couldn't respond or perform, either. So she gave up trying. She wasn't that mad at her hand yet, so she didn't play around. She just kept going to church, hoping and praying for a miracle.

To complicate matters, Lorraine wasn't always drunk, and when she was sober, it was easy to forget how awful she could be. The sober Lorraine was witty, bright, intelligent and charming. She was well-read and well-spoken and people often said what a lovely couple they were and how complete and well-organized their life together was. In those moments, Andy was proud to be with Lorraine, but they had gotten too few and far between. Lorraine believed everything was perfect all the time, exactly as it looked to those on the outside, and only Andy seemed to know it was a sham.

It all finally ended when Andy confronted Lorraine on the back porch, after the time had run out on her most recent excuse. “Look,” she said, “What do you love more, booze or me? Booze or our marriage?"

“I can't give you an answer,” Lorraine said sullenly, staring at her glass of Scotch as though it would soon reveal a hidden mystery, like why the hell she couldn't stop. Andy doubted she was looking for the answer to that, though.

“Are you ever going to stop drinking, Lorraine? I have to know,” Andy insisted.

“All right. Fine. No."

“But you promised!” Andy's voice rose and she knew she sounded whiney, but she pressed on. “You promised to go to AA, and to get counseling,” and she listed all the promises Lorraine had made and broken, so she would get the picture.

“You want counseling?” Lorraine snarled, bored and irritated with Andy's nagging. She had heard it before. “You get counseling. I'm fine. I don't need any counseling."

Exasperated, pushed to her limit, Andy finally asked, “Did you ever intend to quit? Why did you keep promising?"

“Jesus H. Christ! Yes, at first I did intend to quit, but then I decided I like to drink. It makes me feel good. I promised to shut you up, and that's all. So shut the fuck up and leave me alone!"

Andy saw red. She turned quietly and went into the house, where she packed three bags. She kept listening for Lorraine's step on the stairs but it never came. She carried her luggage downstairs, put it in the hall and went into the living room, where she gathered every picture she could find of the two of them, and methodically smashed them all in a pile in the middle of the floor. Then she got into her car, ignoring Lorraine's screams of rage, and moved onto the 24-foot sailboat they owned together.

They let their lawyers work out the details and never spoke to one another again. It was arranged that Lorraine would vacate the house long enough for Andy to move the rest of her own belongings, and her cats, Jacko and Teddy. She sobbed miserably as she carried boxes and plants and cat carriers to the van she had rented for the day. She could hardly bear to leave her beautiful home, her beloved spouse, her garden. It hurt more than leaving the Coast Guard, because then she had been hopeful. Now she was nothing short of devastated, confused and angry at herself as much as at Lorraine. She hated herself for allowing herself to be so deceived and for letting herself be lulled by Lorraine and her promises for so long. It was just easier than starting over, too hard to become a statistic, and that was the bottom line.

With the check that represented the difference between Andy's share of the house and Lorraine's share of the boat, Andy moved across the bay and bought a tiny condo near the Alameda marina. She kept the boat but she couldn't live on it any longer. Squeezed in with the manic cats, she was going crazy, and the bed was too small for new friends! Glad for her pets’ companionship, though, and for a decent place to live and a job she could tolerate, Andy set out to rebuild her life.

* * * *

TotalNet News Ticker, April 17, 2003. Little Rock, Arkansas. A recent University of Arkansas study reveals that there are no longer any churches or synagogues in the State of Arkansas employing a female minister or rabbi.

* * * *

“Hi, Andy. It's Kris. Are you busy?” She sounded very excited.

Andy's face lit up. She was never too busy for Kristin Kelly Nordstrom, her hero. “No, ma'am. What's up?"

“I'm getting the Reno. I'm going to command the Reno!” she practically screamed.

Andy took the phone to the couch. “Wow! Really? That's great!” She would have given her left tit to be Kris’ engineer on that ship, but she bit the words back. She didn't want to spoil Kris’ moment or have Kris feeling sorry for her.

“Can you come? Please? It's in June."

“Well ... I probably can. I have to check at work and let you know.” The only reason not to go was that in retrospect, Andy now hated the Coast Guard almost as much as she had once loved it. She still felt it was their damned anti-gay policy that drove Lorraine, and probably others, to drink. Had they been able to live openly as lesbians, Lorraine's health, Andy's career and their marriage might well have been preserved. But she wasn't about to go into that with Kris, either. It couldn't be undone, and Andy now had a life of her own, of sorts.

“I'll call you tomorrow with a definite answer,” she promised, and let Kris run on about the beauty of the ship, the importance of the mission, the thrill of her greatest achievement. Andy already knew she would go.

* * * *

Three months later, Andy was on a plane to Hartford. Looking down at the Rockies, she thought the most pleasant and unrealistic thoughts a grown woman could possibly generate. On and off over the years, she had loved Kris Nordstrom. It was always platonic, but in the spaces between lovers and spouses, her thoughts always returned to Kris.

Andy had decided during her junior year at the Academy that she was definitely a lesbian, but she was in way too deeply by then to quit, and besides, she thought she could keep her professional and private lives separate. Unlike some who thought it was necessary to take on the system, or who didn't understand how the system worked until they got caught up in a legal battle, Andy had no intention of going public. She also continued to hope that the laws would change. That almost happened early in 1993, but she waited until others tested the system and got caught, and then kept her own counsel.

Then in December 2000, the Employment Non-Discrimination and Same-Sex Marriage Acts were both signed into law, in return for the promise of free legal representation, by a desperate lame-duck president. Andy had thought that might herald a change for the better but in fact it turned out to be that very event that catalyzed the various conservative political factions in the country into joining forces. The Islamic National Coalition and the True Fundamental Covenant took the old Republican Party by storm, creating the New Republican Nation, and the Hearth and Home Movement was born.

By the time of Andy and Lorraine's divorce, same-sex marriages were no longer recognized except in the hold-out states of California, Oregon, Vermont, Washington and Alaska, and certainly not on a federal level. By then it didn't matter anymore to Andy except as a matter of principle, because after Lorraine, she swore she'd never commit to anyone again. Christ! she thought. I was with her for two years before I got out and I still couldn't see her for what she really was. To be fair, maybe I didn't want to, but dammit, I never misled her about anything!

Before she could get all worked up again, Andy channeled her thoughts back to Kris. They had first met, although “collided” would more aptly describe their first encounter, on Andy's first day at the Coast Guard Academy back in the summer of ‘85. She was attempting to make sense of the locker arrangement diagram when the 5'11” Cadet Captain Nordstrom stormed into her room, took one look at what Andy and her roommate had accomplished so far, drew her sword and used it to sweep everything out of both lockers onto the floor. She then braced Andy and her roommate for fifteen minutes, ran them up and down the stairs half a dozen times and made them spend the next three nights in her room polishing her brass and reciting arcane Swab Knowledge from the cadet handbook.

Andy had thought she was magnificent. She still did.

It would have been an enormous understatement to say that they hadn't immediately become the dearest of friends. Quite the reverse. The harder Andy tried, the more relentlessly Kris hounded her, until finally one morning near the end of Swab Summer, after Andy's crew had capsized their knockabout three times on the Thames the day before, Andy curled up in a ball in her bed and refused to report for Reveille Formation.

Nordstrom took the stairs two at a time, kicked Andy's door open and bellowed, “Get your worthless ass out of that rack before I kick you out, you pea-brained excuse for a barnacle!"

“Go fuck yourself,” Andy had mumbled, keeping her face to the wall.

Kris stopped in her tracks. She knew she had heard right, but there was something more. There was no anger and resentment in Cadet Fourth Class Santiago's response, only anguish and despair. Kris closed the door quietly and sat down on the edge of Andy's bed.

“What's the matter? Are you sick?” she asked, gently touching the teenager's shoulder.

“Why do you hate me so?” Andy sobbed. “I try so hard. I do my best. It's never good enough for you."

“I don't hate you, Santiago. In fact, I think you're pretty sharp. I drive you to be the best you can because I believe in you. I expect you to be first in your class when you graduate. I insist on it. I demand it."

“You do?” Andy sniffed, surprised. “Why?"

“Because I know you. You're me,” Kris told her, giving her arm a squeeze.

“Then why are you so mean to me? Why do you single me out for punishment and humiliation? I didn't capsize that boat by myself!” She sat up and spat the words at Kris. “Sometimes you're totally cruel and unfair. If I can't take you, I can't take the Coast Guard. Let me out of here!"

Kris stared at her in shock as she realized the younger woman had a valid point. “You're right. I'm sorry."

It was Andy's turn to be shocked. “What?” It was beyond her expectations to receive an apology from a superior, even if she was right. That wasn't how the military worked, at least not so far.

“I overdid it with you. I made you my special project. I wasn't fair,” Kris said tightly, turning away. She stood up and looked out the window, hands clasped behind her back. She had failed. She would correct that failure. “Get up and get dressed, Ms. Santiago, and report to the chow hall. I'll have to write you up ... but just for oversleeping, not disrespect or insubordination. I'll be fair with you from now on. Don't quit."

Andy obeyed and began to dress quickly. “Thank you, ma'am. I'll do my best."

“I know that, and I expect you to,” Kris said quietly. “Now, MOVE IT MOVE IT MOVE IT YOU SORRY SWABBIE!!!!!” she screamed, but she winked and quickly left Andy to pull herself together for another rigorous day of training.

Andy had completed her punishment tours for oversleeping as if she were marching on air. From that watershed moment on, she had busted her butt to meet Kris Nordstrom's high expectations. Kris had stayed on her case, drove her and harangued her, but never again was she cruel or unjust.

At the end of Swab Summer, at the beginning of the academic year, Cadet First Class Kristin Kelly Nordstrom was appointed First Captain of the Corps of Cadets, and no one was particularly surprised. Andy couldn't have been more pleased if she herself had received the honor, and three years later, she did.

* * * *

TotalNet News Ticker, April 18, 2003. Boise, Idaho. Representative Obadiah Jones announced today that he will run for the U. S. Senate in 2004. He is an Oath-Taker and an outspoken proponent of polygamous marriage for affluent men in religions which have a history of multiple marriage, such as the Latter Day Saints and Islam. He is expected to run unopposed.

* * * *

Andy arrived for Kris’ change of command ceremony a few days early, staying with Kris on Athena until Cindy and the girls got in. Kris had invited her to remain even then, and even use her stateroom, but Andy and Cindy were oil and water. Andy graciously declined. She moved to a motel for the last couple of days of her visit and was glad by then for the privacy and distance, because by that time, she knew she was in love with Kris for real.

The night before the ceremony, after eating dinner with Kris and her family, Andy went back to her room and gave herself the release she ached for so fiercely, and then she cried herself to sleep. She was sure Kris knew how she felt, but the risks to Kris’ career were too great to overcome. Her ascent through the Coast Guard hierarchy had been meteoric so far. She was destined for flag rank and Andy would do nothing to alter that course or endanger it. They couldn't even discuss it, and probably never would.

The day after the ceremony, Andy went home to Oakland, quite literally hopelessly in love. Unless and until Kris retired, there wasn't a damned thing she could do about it. She hoped the distance would take the edge off her desire, and allow her to find someone else.

* * * *

But Andy never could bring herself to break away entirely from Kris. After all, Kris had done nothing to hurt her, in fact, had ultimately been enormously supportive of her even though she knew she had hurt Kris deeply by leaving the Coast Guard when her own career was going so well. But typically, Kris had not only forgiven her but wished her the best of luck in her new life. Andy could hardly dump Kris just because Kris wasn't in a position to allow her to act on her unrequited love. Staying in touch as they always did, Andy was well aware of when Kris might be eligible for promotion, and so about a year before Kris’ tour as Captain of the Reno was likely to end, Andy called her.

“Hey! When am I gonna get to call you ‘Admiral'?” she had teased.

Kris’ response was an amused snort. “Never. Don't you watch the news?"

“Yeah, sure I do. Whaddaya mean?” She flopped on the couch.

“Andy, you can see where the country is heading. The Senate and the House are both majority NRN. There's every reason to believe the NRN is seriously funded by extremist Islamic governments, which works out to a two-thirds majority in Congress in ‘06. That means that even if the President's a Democrat, they can override his vetoes."

Kris wasn't painting a pretty picture, Andy was forced to admit. “Okay, all that is true, but what the heck does it have to do with you making admiral?"

Kris sighed. “I don't think that once the new Congress is seated, anything is going to stop this backward juggernaut. I just want to retire and get out with my retirement benefits intact while I still can."

Andy was stunned. “I ... I guess I always thought military women would somehow be protected. I mean, sure, the Oafs make it real hard for women to pursue non-traditional careers or get technical education, but mostly that's a matter of social pressure. It isn't illegal, the women just don't wanna stand up to them. It's difficult, but not impossible."

Kris interrupted her, “Andy, open your eyes. The Oafs have gone so far as to send retirees in RVs to establish residence in one county after another, change the laws locally and drive on. They've elected conservative majorities in over 40 state houses. And that isn't all."

“What do you mean?"

“I've seen this kind of thing happen before, when I did escort duty to the Gulf back in ‘90-91. We used a lot of Navy facilities going over and coming back, and I saw the men, our men, really buying into the concept of women as second-class citizens. The women who were stationed in the Gulf told me this themselves. They were forced to wear those full-length costumes over their civvies off-duty, walk behind the men they were with, use the back doors of buildings and not even drive. Care to know what the men did?"

“I'm not gonna like this, am I?” Kris was taking her on a really bad head trip. It was scary. California was the last bastion of the liberals, but how long could that last? Andy didn't like to think about it too hard or for too long.

“No, you aren't. At best, they ignored it, at worst they laughed. They not only enforced it, but they belittled the women for having to tolerate it. Their civil rights were completely trampled by our own government, in the name of being good guests in the Middle East.” She stopped and took a breath, aware of how agitated she sounded. “So now even on Reno, I overhear conversations among my male sailors who are Oafs. They love this stuff. They love their wives being subservient, turning over their paychecks, tolerating abuse and teaching their daughters more of the same. They have to toe the line on my ship, but they've overstepped on others, where the captains are men. I've had to help several women with sexual harassment and discrimination complaints because these guys can't tell where their home life ends and their duty begins."

“Jesus, Kris, I had no idea. Why didn't you tell me?"

“I didn't want you to worry about me. But as long as you asked, I thought maybe it was time for you to come to your senses. Now, where is your money?"

Andy was momentarily confused. “My ... my money?

“Yes. Your assets. What are they?"

“Well, let's see. Um, I have a savings account, a checking account, a 401k plan, and some bonds. I guess that's it."

“You own your condo and your sailboat?"

“Well, yes. But why, Kris?"

“I'm moving all my assets offshore, and I advise you to do the same. You're my friend. I'm as concerned for you as I am for me. Can you imagine what your life would be like if you lost control of your assets to your male relatives?"

“Oh, God. No. What are you saying?"

Kris rode her as relentlessly as she had during Andy's Swab Summer. “Don't you ever read any Oaf literature? You know they're in bed with the NRN."

“I would hardly call it literature, and no, I don't. I find it depressing."

“Well, you should and it is. I happen to have a pamphlet right here called ‘Keeping it in the Family: Goals for the Year 2006.’ It's part of the ‘Hearth and Home Series’ and advocates men taking over all their wives’ finances, and their mothers', sisters', daughters’ and so on. Any woman who isn't married should have a male ‘advisor’ or ‘guardian.’”

Andy sighed deeply. This wasn't what she had in mind when she called Kris. Yet, the idea of Kris retiring so soon held a certain appeal for her personally. Her last three girlfriends hadn't worked out. Not a damned thing wrong with any of them, except they weren't Kris. “Even so, that's just what the Oafs are gonna do among themselves."

It was Kris’ turn to sigh. “Andy, since when has an Oaf policy or goal not become law?"

Andy was silent. Sooner or later, all of them did. “Never,” she said in a shaky voice. “What have you done? What are you gonna do?"

“Write this down, sailor,” Kris instructed.

“Okay,” Andy said, dutifully reaching for a pad.

“Put all your liquid assets in banks that have a branch in Switzerland, the Bahamas or the Caymans. As far as your other investments, get your broker to move them into institutions that have overseas branches. I have my lawyer looking into all the possibilities, and so should you, because the day the state house in Sacramento falls, it may already be too late."

“Got it, got it.” Andy said, writing.

“Now I don't know what you will finally decide, but here's my plan. First, I should tell you what I had planned, and what I'm planning now."

“Okay.” Andy put her pad aside and started gnawing her nails as she did anytime she was stressed.

“I had it in mind to retire down to the Carolinas. Actually, I was going to sail around the Caribbean and see if I wanted to go further still, but I meant to have an address down on the Outer Banks, I thought.” She sighed. “Not any more. That's the worst place in the country right now, other than maybe Arkansas."

“Yeah? Well, as you said, it's still relatively safe here. You could come here with Athena, I mean to the Bay Area.” Andy tried very hard not to sound too eager.

Kris tried hard not to let herself sound too amused when she replied. “At this point, anything is possible. I am looking at staying offshore myself, just in case. If I absolutely have to, I can live at sea, but that would be very lonely and isolated, and that doesn't begin to help me deal with Danielle and Carol. More than myself, I worry for them. It drives me crazy. It keeps me awake at night."

“You know what, Kris? I think I feel sick,” Andy said. “This is like a sucker punch to the gut. If you're scared, and you never are, we all should be."

Kris replied softly, “Well, I am scared, Andy. Very scared. I can take care of myself, but I can't take care of them, because they're minors, and I have no legal authority over them. I have to think of something, and I don't have much time."

Andy took a deep breath. “Tell you what. If it all goes the way you think, and you get out of there on Athena, come here. Come through the Canal, come stay in Oakland, and we'll put our heads together for the girls."

“All right. That's what we'll do. If it comes to that, I'll be there next September."

“It's a date."

When Andy hung up, she was torn between elation and terror. Kris was almost surely coming to Oakland, but even if she did they might have no future whatsoever.

CHAPTER 2

TotalNet News Ticker, February 11, 2006. Meeting behind closed doors, the Senate Foreign Relations Committee voted to strengthen diplomatic ties with Iraq and Libya, and open trade negotiations for increased petroleum imports.

* * * *

“I hate Aunt Kris!” Danielle Nordstrom fumed, slamming her backpack onto her bed. She flopped down next to it and stared forlornly out the window at the snow-filled street.

“Well, I don't!” her younger sister Carol countered, shutting the door behind her. “But I do hate Dad,” she went on in a hushed tone.

“I'm not exactly crazy about him myself right now,” Dani grumbled, whipping her long, reddish-brown hair back. “But I wanted Aunt Kris to be an admiral.” She fought back tears of frustration.

“So does that mean you're not going on the houseboat with us?"

“No,” Dani mumbled, still disconsolate.

“So you don't really hate her, right?” Carol pleaded. She was two years younger than Danielle, and at thirteen she still wasn't filled out. Husky where Danielle was reed-thin, Carol looked like a compact boy from behind, especially as her curly dark hair was cut short.

“No, I'm just mad. I'm mad at everyone. Aunt Kris, Mom, Dad..."

“Me?” Carol squeaked.

“Not yet, but don't tempt me. School, Home and Hearth, church. Especially church,” she said the last word through clenched teeth.

“Yeah, me, too,” Carol agreed quickly to avoid being added to the list.

“'Yeah, me, too,'” Danielle parroted, finally forced to smile.

“Quit it,” Carole sulked.

“Well, I'm glad you hate it, too, Metoo,” Dani teased, using Carol's least favorite nickname.

“I don't just hate it, Dani,” she said, sitting down on the edge of her sister's bed and making her scoot over. “I'm scared."

Dani sat up and hugged her. “Look, maybe if Aunt Kris is really gonna sail around the world, we can go with her part of the time, in the summers, like before."

Carol shook her head. “Dad would never let us. I wouldn't be surprised if he changed his mind about the houseboat."

Danielle smiled. “Nah, the lake is landlocked. She can't sail away with us and disappear. Besides, you know the deal. She leaves her car and we take the van. She has to bring us back."

“Like a hostage,” Carol added. “I love the way Dad thinks between us we're worth a car, and Aunt Kris would love the car more. He doesn't love us anymore. He always wanted a son, so he's getting even with us for not being boys."

“He doesn't not love us, he doesn't know how to love us anymore. The Oafs are playing games with his head,” Dani explained.

“I don't know how they can be related! He hates Aunt Kris and even hates for us to be with her. I hate him for hating her,” Carol's voice broke and she started to cry.

“Come on, come on, Ky,” Dani used her favorite nickname to soothe her. When Dani was little, she hadn't been able to say her new sister's name. “Carol” came out “Ky” instead and the whole family had adopted it. “Look, let's, um ... I know! Let's make a chart and count the days ‘till Aunt Kris gets here! Want to? Would you rather have a chart, or do you wanna burn ’em?"

“I wanna burn ’em,” Carol sniffed. “In fact, I'd like to burn down the house, and the Oaf Hall, and the church..."

“Let's not get carried away. We don't want you in jail. Okay, let's see,” she shoved Carol over and got off the bed. “Here,” she held up a calendar from her desk. “It's February 11th, and Aunt Kris will be here on August third. Start carving up some squares. I'll count."

Carol got out construction paper and lined off some squares while Dani counted the days. They determined there were 202 and soon both were numbering and cutting them out. “Make one extra, for yesterday,” Carol instructed. “I wanna burn one now."

Dani smiled. “Okay.” She was glad Carol had stopped crying. She thought she was responsible and it made her feel terribly guilty, although there wasn't a lot she could do.

Soon they had a neat stack for each month with the highest numbers on top. “Get an ashtray, Ensign,” Dani commanded.

“Aye, Lieutenant,” Carol responded with a salute. She was back in minutes with a book of matches as well, and Dani let her light the first square. Soon day 203 was ashes.

“Just 202 to go,” Dani said, giving her sister a squeeze. “Now beat it. Do your homework."

* * * *

Later on, when Dani was supposed to be studying for a geometry test, she let her mind wander back and forth. Ahead, to their week away with Aunt Kris just before beginning her junior year, and back to their last vacation with her. Because of the travel problems, Aunt Kris had to come to get them and fly them back to Massachusetts, so they could spend two weeks sailing to and around Narragansett Bay. She had traveled in uniform to keep any activists from bothering them, and because of that, and the fact that there were no men with them, they had gotten a lot of funny looks in all the airports, but no interference.

But this summer, their father, Kris’ brother Harry, would no longer let them fly away with her. The lake they were going to was just down on the border of Kentucky, and they had to call home every night and say where they were and what it looked like. He knew the area from his own hunting trips, so they had to be there.

Dani sighed again. She was bitterly disappointed in her parents and with the way her life was probably going to turn out. To distract herself, she let her think about her heroic aunt some more instead. That was more fun than either real life or geometry.

Kris Nordstrom was the finest woman she and Ky had ever seen in their lives, and neither of them could figure out why every man in the world wasn't trying to marry her. But whenever they asked, “Aunt Kris, why aren't you married?” she would only smile and say. “I am married: to the sea."

Finally Dani had pressed her a little further, one night when Carol had already gone to sleep, and Kris had sighed, “Honey, you need to try to understand. First, not everyone can get married, and not everyone wants to. Second, in my experience, a lot of men are uncomfortable with,” and she had stopped to search for words, “with women who are ... who have a lot of responsibilities. Most men are raised with a certain expectation of coming first with their wives. I could never, ever do that.” She took Dani's hand. “Understand?"

“Sort of. But there must be some man who wouldn't mind,” she insisted.

“Maybe there is and I just haven't met him. In my line of business most men are pretty traditional. I'd probably have to live in a big city to find one, and I wouldn't do that either, even if I could."

“You're just different, huh?” Dani had said, resting her head on Kris’ shoulder.

“Afraid so. Still love me?"

“I always love you, Aunt Kris,” Dani promised, hugging her tightly.

It was true. Not just always, but most of all.

* * * *

When Carol went to bed that night, she cried some more. It was just too hard to be a girl. It hadn't always been that way, only since she had started junior high. The boys they had been friends with started ignoring them, then they had started being mean and quoting the Bible as their excuse for it. They were only nice to the girls who didn't do anything fun, like playing sports or working on computers or doing science projects.

They changed churches, too. They used to be Lutheran. Now they were True Fundamental Covenant. All of a sudden they had to wear skirts to church. And hats! They didn't even have hats to wear inside, so their mother had to buy them some hats and scarves.

In their new church, only men and boys were allowed to read from the Bible, and the Bible they used was old and funny-sounding, too. Women could sing in the choir, and cook and quilt, and so far that seemed to be all. Their mother wasn't even allowed to teach Sunday school like before, but she didn't complain about it.

It was even worse for Dani. This year she would have been confirmed, but Carol had known two years before that wasn't going to happen. Neither of them could take communion anymore but that part almost didn't matter since this new church only had communion every once in a while. She had asked about confirmation and communion and was told that young ladies weren't to ask questions in church, but ask their fathers when they were at home. So Carol had asked her dad and he said she didn't need to know that right now. She suspected he didn't have a clue either, but couldn't admit it to a mere woman-child.

And the boys! They were the worst! They were always ordering the girls to bring them cookies and punch and telling them where to sit and to be quiet in Truth Talks. They were the meanest boys from her own school, plus others she didn't care to know.

One Sunday afternoon, because now they spent something like four hours at church, after a particularly trying time in Truth Talk, she tried to explain to her mom and dad how she felt. It had been a disaster.

“But why can't girls do stuff? I used to be a crucifer! I was gonna be a banner-bearer! I hate Truth Talks. Everyone is mean to us!"

Harry had looked at his daughter sadly. Neither of them was getting the True Fundamental message, although Carol still talked to him. Dani didn't speak to him at all unless he addressed her directly.

“The other church gives young women bad ideas,” he had begun ponderously, as he always did with weighty matters. “Truth Talks will help you find the right path. And stay on it!” he added earnestly.

“Come on, Dad! That's right out of one of the church pamphlets! Why don't you want me and Dani to have a life?” Carol demanded.

“Now, Carol, you're getting whiney and questioning my judgement,” Harry had said, beating a strategic retreat. “Go help your sister set the table."

Her mother, typically, had said nothing in their defense.

At Truth Talks, Dani always got in trouble. She looked up everything in the modern Bible both of them had received when they had their first communion in the Lutheran church. She would memorize it and spout it back at the Group Leader, a pimply-faced teenage boy who was no match for her. Carol was proud of her big sister, but in the end she always got reported to some adult, and they both wound up with extra assignments to “help them accept and understand God's will.” Carol always wrote the least she could get away with, but Dani willfully wrote lengthy theological arguments based on the interpretation of the Bible she had been taught before, her own opinions, science, the news and everything else she could think of. It all came to a head one Monday about a year after they joined the TFC church. They came home to find that their old Bibles had disappeared, replaced with new ones from their True Fundamental congregation.

“The pastor called me today,” their mother had begun angrily, “and he told me you're not to read those bad Bibles anymore. I had to buy you new ones, and I'm taking the money out of your allowances! And no more essays on,” she stopped to look at something on a piece of paper, “secular humanism. It's not a woman's place to interpret God's holy word."

Dani's eyes went wide. “That was my Bible! MY BIBLE! Pastor Kathy gave me that herself! You had no right!” she screeched. “What have you done with it?"

Carol had been terrified. She had never seen Dani so angry before.

Even Cindy looked scared, but she stood her ground. “I didn't burn them like the pastor asked me to. I asked your father, and he said to put them away until you get married and have husbands to guide you. Then they can decide if it's proper for you to have them back."

Without uttering another word, Dani had stormed out of the house and left Carol to deal with their mother, but Carol saw her mother's fright and confusion and went to hug her. “Please, Mom, don't burn Dani's Bible. Don't throw it away. If I promise to be good, will you keep them safe for us? I'll only read the other one. I promise."

Cindy saw her chance. “I'll keep them if you'll promise to let me know if she does anything Jesus wouldn't like. Will you do that?"

“Okay, Mom. Sure.” Then she went up to her room to do homework, but she mostly cried and couldn't concentrate.

Much later, after they ate supper without her, Dani came home to a royal butt-chewing from both her parents, which she bore stoically until she was allowed to go to her room, from which her computer had been removed in her absence.

Late that night, when both of them were supposed to be asleep, Dani snuck into Carol's room. “Wake up, Ky. I need you to hide something for me,” she whispered.

“What is it?” Carol had mumbled sleepily.

Dani showed her a miniature Bible. “I got it from Pastor Kathy. That's where I went. She said she'll give us communion anytime we can get over there."

“Oh, no, Dani! Don't! They'll kill us if they catch you!"

“I just wanna read it sometimes. C'mon, please? I hate this TFC shit. I don't believe God hates my femaleness."

“All right, all right, but only when they're out,” Carol made her promise. “And don't copy stuff out of it for church."

Dani promised, and Carol didn't tell on her. She figured Jesus wouldn't mind much if Dani read the Bible and took communion.

Carol still saw the entire day in her mind as if it had only just happened, although it had been a year ago. She stared up at the ceiling in the dark. “This just sucks,” she whispered. “Everything just sucks."

* * * *

TotalNet News Ticker, February 12, 2006. The Mississippi State Legislature voted today to suspend state financial assistance to college students who are homosexual. Details of how such information was to be obtained or proven have not yet been released.

CHAPTER 3

From the darkened living room of her home a few miles from her Palo Alto congregation, the Reverend Mikiko Toku-Bryan, Koko to her friends, stood peering into the street. She bounced two-year old Jordan on her hip, feeling guiltier than ever. The year 2004 had proven to be most inauspicious for bringing a female child into the world. Why did I do it? she berated herself. She already had two fine sons, Joshua and Jonathan, playing on the floor of the next room to the accompaniment of a Sesame Street video. But she had sweet-talked Thad into it, and now here was the darling daughter she had yearned for, certainly with no foreseeable future and possibly even in physical danger.

Koko hated to acknowledge her fears, even to herself. She and her family were reasonably safe here in “Fort Parsonage,” especially since they'd had the steel bars installed on all the doors and windows. And since the police were supposed to be keeping an eye on them, and since the men in the congregation took turns on guard duty, and since a restraining order had been issued against the Oafs to keep them at a distance. The fact that every church with a female pastor was feeling the same squeeze didn't make Koko feel any better at all.

But even though things were safer now that she was officially “protected,” she still felt as though she was living in a prison. The reality was, the police could be distracted or bribed to turn their heads, the scheduled guard might have some emergency or other priority, or the Oafs who showed up weren't specifically included in the injunction, nor could they be. There were just too many of them. Sometimes there were still rotten eggs or vegetables to clean up, or nasty graffiti to scrub away.

There were also too many women and girls for Koko and her denomination, the Unified Congregations of Christ, to protect. Most of her growing flock braved the Sunday-morning picket lines because the police had to be there then. Evening functions were held in homes unless the turnout was likely to be too large, and then the men had to take turns guarding the people, the cars and the church property.

Tonight was one of those nights. Thad would be home soon to drive them all to church where there would first be a simple supper and then Nik's seminar. Almost 40 people were signed up which meant they could have as many as 60. The nursery would also be open for the kids to play and watch Bible-story videos while the adults studied.

Koko sighed and shifted Jordan over. She probably could have put her daughter down but she found herself growing very protective lately. She needed to know every minute that her daughter was safe.

Nik, Phyllis, Andy, Shelley, on and on the list went. The number of women who couldn't or wouldn't trust any man to “guide” or “advise” them was probably astronomical. Up until now it hadn't even been an issue. Now it was the issue.

Koko was sure of Thad. It wasn't obvious to the casual observer because she protected him, but in their household, Koko generally made the final decisions. It was Thad's choice as much as hers. He was not weak, nor was he a demanding, aggressive man. He was gentle and loving, and were it not for the fact that their family needed the income from his high school guidance counseling job, he would gladly have stayed home with his children all day.

It was certainly no picnic for Thad, this outbreak of anti-female conservatism. Despite his three children, students, staff and neighbors all called him a pansy because he and Koko hyphenated their names together, and the children all had both names as well. Because women who went out without men were frequently chased, harassed and run off the road in their cars, he had to do almost all the driving. Koko had cut her straight, shiny black hair quite short in case she had no choice but to drive, but to keep her children safe, she avoided it as much as she could. And finally, Thad was a pacifist by nature, and was more likely to be beaten to death than to raise a hand in his own defense. Koko often thought he and Jesus were probably a lot alike.

Just as Koko was wondering where her friend Andy had been lately, Thad swung the van into the driveway, and she called out, “Josh! Jon! Get your knapsacks! Daddy's here.” She carried Jordan to the hallway to collect her gear. She would call Andy later.

* * * *

TotalNet News Ticker, July 25, 2006. Madison, Wisconsin. The Governor today instructed the National Guard to remove women from combat positions in order to assure continued state funding. Several other Midwestern states are expected to follow suit.

* * * *

“Physics for Liberal Arts Majors!” Nicole Gervais sighed exasperatedly, re-reading the course overview in the welcome package she had just received from the Physical Sciences Department. “Well, I guess I knew I'd have to teach the darned thing all along. But still. All right. Whatever.” She tossed the papers down on the table and went to look out the window onto the street. Years of solitary study and research had given her the habit of talking aloud to herself, since few people understood most of what she said anyway.

She knew she had no right to complain. On the other hand, she had every right. After receiving her BS and MS from MIT, and having just completed her doctorate at CalTech, she had every right to expect a lot more, including the jobs she'd been offered at SETI and NASA. But funding for those projects had dried up since the conservatives had come into power.

According to them, “everyone knew” there was no life on other planets, or it would say so in the Bible. And if there wasn't any life, why go there? It had been Nik's ultimate goal to become an astronaut. Now there were no astronauts in the United States.

Nik knew she should probably count her blessings. Some of her former classmates were flipping burgers right now. She, at least, was still involved in the sciences, thanks to her outstanding grades and a germinal doctoral dissertation on binary black holes. And at Stanford, research was still encouraged, even if it had to be largely theoretical. She had a small private tutorial this summer to tide her over until the fall. Then she would teach one section each of entry-level physics for science majors, beginning astronomy, and the dreaded Physics for Liberal Arts Majors. Talk about the basics! She expected a bunch of artsy-fartsy poli-sci majors who thought it looked cool to “dabble” in the sciences, or even worse, Trekkies who wanted to impress their friends. She would consider a high drop rate a personal compliment, after they read the syllabus she was planning! In whatever spare time she had, she was entitled to the use of a lab to continue her research for the day when normal human beings regained control of the government and funding.

There had been one other offer that hadn't dried up. Two, if she counted the marriage proposal. One was from the military, who had invited her to work on nuclear weapons, for which there was suddenly plenty of funding. Another Manhattan Project, that was the buzz in the scientific community. Nik would stay well clear of that.

The marriage proposal, of sorts, she also turned down. Her parents, in Denver, had told her over the phone of a young man in their church who wanted to meet her. In fact, based merely on her photograph and her parents’ descriptions, he was seriously considering marriage. When their letter arrived including a picture of this potential suitor, Nik had thrown it in the trash with a derisive hoot. Any man who would even contemplate marriage without having met her had to be an idiot. She was fully prepared to be hounded and ogled because of her aristocratic good looks, but once she and a man talked over coffee or a drink, an invitation for a “date” was never extended by either party.

Her watch beeped and she glanced at the time. That was her reminder that she had an informal seminar at the church tonight. Koko Toku-Bryan, the pastor, was her new best friend since moving to the Bay Area, and had talked her into a series of lectures on evolution and the Big Bang theory for their liberal congregation. It was probably one of the last of its kind in the country. She had no illusions about their ability to grasp the material, but it was something social to do.

* * * *

Koko sat in the rear of the Fellowship Hall, watching with amusement as Nik worked her way through her slide presentation. Normally, her congregation ran about one-third gay, but this evening it was more like 45 percent dykes, 45 percent straight men and 10 percent others who really cared about if and how God and evolution could comfortably co-exist. The ones who were along for the ride listened politely enough, but it was obvious from their dreamy looks that their minds were elsewhere than on the theories of the estimable Dr. Gervais.

With one ear Koko listened for the sounds of her own children down the hall in the nursery. She realized she was being silly. Three men, including Thad, with walkie-talkies and billy clubs patrolled the grounds in overlapping circuits. The women of the church used to share this duty with their brethren, but everyone soon realized that when the women patrolled, they seemed to attract a lot more attention from the Oafs, along with more trouble, than the men did. Some of the women really relished the confrontations and wanted to keep at it, but for the common good, they were persuaded to relinquish that role for other work that was just as vital if somewhat less visible.

Nik had completed the “formal” portion of her presentation and was taking questions. Fortunately some of her audience had actually been paying rapt attention to the study material and a healthy debate was sparked. Koko smiled to see Nik, her fair face flushed with the excitement of the exchange, enjoying the interaction. Koko was certainly pleased to watch the ideas fly, but at the same time, she was saddened to realize how seldom a discussion of this nature could happen outside of university classrooms any more. Thad had told her how, even at his school, which was public, evolution was off the curriculum until the school board could deal with the issue. Too many parents had been threatening to keep their children out of science labs.

Nik, of course, was a treasure, in Koko's opinion. She knew that teaching elementary physics was far less than what Nik expected of herself, yet she was obviously a talented teacher. Koko also knew that Nik struggled both with the mixed blessing of her good looks and the stereotype of the “dumb blonde.” Until people got to know her, it took some time to break the through the brainy and aloof image she projected in self-defense. Nik also didn't reveal her sexuality at first glance, although her platinum blonde hair was very short and stylishly swept back, and she never wore skirts. Like many other women who needed to be out and about on their own, Nik preferred to look as androgynous as possible. She could have been straight but she definitely loved women.

Koko was reminded of Andy again. Since her divorce from Lorraine, the Latina engineer had all but dropped out of sight. Koko knew she had been seeing a variety of women, but probably due to having been badly hurt and as a result of her own high standards, Andy didn't seem inclined to pursue a serious, exclusive relationship. Koko thought Andy generally restless and dissatisfied, as if searching for something she herself could not define.

Occasionally, Koko thought of playing matchmaker between Andy and Nik, but she realized that might be a very efficient way to lose two good friends. However, if Andy just came to church, something might develop naturally.

She was so deep in thought that the hand waving in front of her face startled her. “Hello? Anyone home?” Nik asked playfully.

“I guess not,” Koko shook her head with a sheepish grin. “Well, that was a success, wasn't it? I think most of them will be back next week, don't you?"

“Yes, if only to see what I'm wearing,” Nik remarked dryly. “The stuff of wet dreams."

Koko had to laugh in spite of herself. “Stop it! I'm not supposed to think that's funny.” She rose. “Let me help you clean up."

“Oh, that's taken care of.” Nik inclined her head toward the men and butches who were wrestling for the privilege of stacking the chairs. “I was hoping we could escape to your office. Please,” she added urgently.

“Let's go to my office,” Koko said loudly, and they quickly slipped out the back door.

“Anything wrong?” Koko asked, her fine brow creased, as she closed and locked the door of her study. She looked up at Nik, who cleared six feet in flat shoes, which were all she ever wore.

“No, nothing specific. Just the constant uneasy feeling of not being able to plan a future anymore. You know,” Nik mused, dropping her slide carousel on one end of the couch and sitting on the other, “I'm starting to think of the United States as a big, empty bowl."

Koko shifted the tray to the middle and sat down, arranging her skirt. “How's that again?"

Nik stifled her irritation. Sometimes she had the definite impression that Koko's mind was off in six directions at once. “I hear from this classmate and that as they find jobs, or not. They're all the way east, from Miami up to Boston, or all the way west, out here. There are a few in the middle, but concentrated around big cities, like Chicago or St Louis. The rest have dropped out of sight, unless they've gone abroad."

“But not all the jobs are in big cities or on the coasts. Is that it?” Koko asked. She was half-listening for her children again. Patrols and nursery ended a half-hour after the seminar, and then they would lock up and go home.

Nik realized she would have to bear down a bit to keep Koko focused. While the pastor was indeed capable of juggling a variety of concepts or projects at once, one definitely had the impression she never gave her full attention to any one of them. “Yes. They could have jobs, that is, there are positions available in the small college towns, in the Midwest and the South, but it's too scary for them to live there, especially if they're single.” Nik leaned forward as if to emphasize her words. “I'll bet there's not one unmarried academic female in Arkansas, Oklahoma and Kansas put together. At least, not in the sciences."

“Really? I'll have to check around the UCC. I mean, yes, most female pastors are having problems, but I'm not aware they've all been driven out of the Great American Heartland,” Koko said somewhat sarcastically. It was that very heartland in which the Hearth and Home Movement had begun.

“Believe it,” Nik told her. “I recently heard that they can't buy a house or a condo, or even rent. The Oafs either control the banks and/or damage the properties, so it's too risky to do business with them.” She shook her head. “And it's just too physically dangerous, besides."

“So I guess you're feeling very vulnerable right now, aren't you, Nik? And afraid for your friends as well."

“Yes, I am. Aren't you? I mean, we already hide from the Oafs or disguise ourselves. I wouldn't go inland from here as far as Livermore without a male escort, so that means just not going a lot of places. I don't think the political picture is likely to improve next year, either. Do you?” She looked earnestly into Koko's soft brown eyes.

“Probably not. So what are you thinking? I feel like you're going somewhere with this."

Finally the light seemed to be going on! Nik plunged ahead. “I can't help wondering. If we go from this ‘mere,'” and she made quotation marks with her fingers, “social harassment to actual laws and statutes prohibiting movement, employment and so on, even here in California, what's going to happen to us? Are they going to drive us off the cliffs into the ocean? I keep envisioning losing my job and having to go back to my parents in Denver so my father can protect me. Just last month my parents tried to marry me off again.” She hugged herself and shivered.

Koko stared at her. “Don't they know you're a lesbian?"

“I ... I've tried so many times to tell them, but I'm afraid it will break their hearts. They want grandchildren, and I'm an only child."

“You can have children without marrying a man,” Koko pointed out.

“Oh, I know, and I plan to. At least, I did before all this. But I'm afraid the conversation would be over before I got to that part,” she laughed a little.

Koko glanced slyly at the door and then suggested with a conspiratorial grin, “Don't tell them until after you and your spouse get pregnant."

Nik laughed aloud this time. “Actually that's not a bad idea. The imminence of a grandchild might soften the blow. Now all I need is a spouse."

“Don't settle,” Koko cautioned. “You have plenty of time."

“Maybe, maybe not. If it were up to the Oafs, the New Republicans, the Covenant and the Coalition, I'd already be married to a man or dead. So,” she rushed on as she heard voices in the hallway, “has the UCC, or anyone else, like Amnesty International, got any plan for hiding or protecting us if we lose all our rights? I really don't know which way to turn."

Koko momentarily ignored the pounding on her door. “I honestly don't know, Nik. But I guess I had better find out.” She got up and opened the door, and groaned when her five year-old son catapulted himself into her arms. “Oof! You're gonna kill me doing that, sweet boy,” she laughed, swinging him around.

“Uh-uh! You're my mommy. Mommies are strong."

Nik raised an eyebrow. “Very good, Jon."

“Daddies are strong, too,” he mumbled, pressing his face against his mother's neck.

“Yes, they are,” Koko agreed, sitting down with him in her lap. “Where're Daddy and Josh and Jordan?"

“In the nurs'ry.” He looked at Nik. “Are you the sign-tist?"

“Yes, I am,” Nik smiled. “I study stars.” She admired his clear, innocent face, which gave just a hint of his mother's Japanese ancestry. His coloring was like a deep, ancient ivory.

“Can you teach me?” Jon asked.

“I think so. We can learn about how God made the stars. Would you like that?"

“Yeah. Mommy, I'm tired,” he complained, losing interest.

“All right, honey. We're going home soon.” She kissed his hair and rested her face against his head with her eyes closed, just for a moment, as if she were gathering strength from him.

Nik felt the tug of wanting a child of her own. She also realized Koko's generally scattered concentration was completely fragmented now. She rose and quickly collected her belongings. “I'd better go, too. So you'll think about it?"

“I'll start making inquiries right away,” Koko nodded to her over Jon's sleepy head. “I'll get back with you soon."

As she drove home, Nik had to laugh at herself. She loved Koko but she had yet to get used to her different priorities. Nik knew that she was what she called a “neat thinker,” everything in a separate compartment. She realized that when some men mistakenly told her she “thought like a man” this was what they meant, although it was hardly a compliment. When Nik was working on a theory, she didn't think about her finances. When she was driving, she didn't think about politics. When she was in church, she didn't think about finding a mate. Koko, on the other hand, had approximately the attention span of a parakeet, yet she was still able to do many things well, if not in as linear and “neat” a manner as Nik. It takes all kinds, she thought, and made a mental note to call Koko and remind her of her promise to see what, if anything, the church had in mind to assist independent women.

* * * *

TotalNet News Ticker, July 27, 2006. Tallahassee, Florida. The State Legislature has voted to stop teaching evolution in all public schools. Mandatory introductory Bible courses will be required at all levels starting this fall.

CHAPTER 4

Once she got onto I-95 westbound, Kris settled deeply into the luxurious leather seat of her silver BMW Z3 and floored it. She had gotten the most desirable model possible partly to pamper herself and partly as a bribe for Harry. She knew he'd enjoy driving it while she and the girls were on the boat, and in his mind it was insurance that she'd bring them back.

She didn't want to. She wanted to take them aboard Athena and just disappear, but obviously she couldn't. They were minors, they weren't her own children, and they needed to finish school. Kris didn't know how far their education would be allowed to progress if the NRN machine was allowed to churn unimpeded through what had once been a relatively peaceful political landscape, but they needed to stay in the system as long as they could. Years ago she had thought the government chaotic and hopelessly tedious. Now it seemed to have been, in retrospect, at least workable.

There were so many factors to consider regarding her nieces that Kris hardly knew where to begin planning their future. In the first place, anything and everything she did was going to be illegal. She knew that and still she had no choice but to eventually take them away from their parents. She thought back to when she had first realized she would have to do that.

* * * *

As soon as she had become eligible for consideration for promotion to Rear Admiral, Kris was summoned to two interviews. The first was with Vice Admiral Allan Cuthbert, Atlantic Area Commander and her supervisor.

She reported formally and he immediately invited her to have a seat in the informal portion of his office, where comfortable leather furniture was grouped around a working fireplace.

“Kris, it's time for your first star,” he began with a smile. “I just want you to know I'm sending a glowing recommendation to the board. I can't show it to you yet, as you know, but after the results are announced, I'll be happy to."

“Admiral, I'm honored, but I'm so sorry to have to tell you, I can't accept a promotion. I've decided to retire."

His round, florid face fell. “But ... why? Ultimately I saw you with four stars. Commandant."

“Once upon a time, perhaps, Boss,” she said, because they were close. “But not now. I think I need to move on while I can."

He sighed. “The Oafs? The NRN? Hearth and Home?"

She nodded. “I'm afraid so.” She leaned forward to confide, “If it were just about me, maybe I could tolerate the general deterioration in the treatment of women. To a certain extent my uniform still protects me. But I have nieces, teenagers..."

“Danielle and Carol. I know you're quite close to them. I was expecting to see the older girl apply to the Academy quite soon,” he said.

“I'm sure she would have, and she may still if the political and social picture reverses in time. But in the event they don't, I have to help find and prepare a place for them to finish growing up and getting an education."

Admiral Cuthbert shook his head. “I won't say I'm not terribly disappointed, and I will tell the Commandant myself exactly what effect these extremists are having on our personnel and command structure, but I do understand. You'll be absolutely impossible to replace. You know that, Kris."

She nodded and blinked back tears. “Thank you, Boss."

He stood up and walked her to the door with his arm up around her shoulders. “You can still change your mind. If you withdraw your retirement papers at any time at all, I will gladly submit your name to the very next board."

“You're very kind, Admiral,” Kris said, formal once again. “I won't forget everything you've done for me.” The shook hands and he surprised her with a brief, fierce hug. Then she left before he could realize she was crying.

* * * *

The second interview had been a lot longer and a lot tougher. Kris had to go to Nantucket for that, where her friend and mentor, Rear Admiral Arlene Bagby, had retired.

Arlene let her have it with both barrels as soon as she opened the door. “How can you let the Coast Guard down like this, Kris? I never taught you to turn tail and run!” she barked. Though the Admiral was a diminutive woman, Kris always felt as though she was looking up at her.

“Nice to see you again, too, Arlene. May I assume Allan Cuthbert called?” She leaned down and hugged her friend warmly and felt her relax in spite of her anger.

“Yes, he did. Dammit, Kris! You were on target to be the first female Commandant!” The blue eyes shot daggers of reproach at her from beneath silvery gray bangs.

Kris nodded ruefully. “I know. And I wish it didn't have to be this way. Perhaps if I had only myself to consider, I would pursue my own career, but I have to think of Danielle and Carol."

“That's their parents’ job,” Arlene persisted stubbornly, guiding Kris down the hall to her big, old-fashioned kitchen.

“I'm ... not sure they realize exactly what's happening, by the time they do, I want to have alternatives ready for them,” Kris explained.

“All right then, do this: stay in so that you can oversee their careers. They'd follow you into the Guard in a heartbeat.” She motioned Kris to the wooden breakfast nook and began brewing tea.

“Oh, Arlene, if only it was that simple, but that assumes too much: that the government will continue to allow women to serve without restrictions, or at all, for that matter. That training and education will be available. That they wouldn't be hard-pressed socially not to do what they desire, that their father's permission wouldn't be needed, that he would give it."

Arlene kept her back to Kris as she stood at the sink waiting for the water to boil, and it was then that Kris saw the older woman's shoulders were shaking. She bolted from the table and took Arlene in her arms.

“I'm sorry,” the older woman sobbed. “I know it's none of my business, but you're breaking my heart."

Kris held her close and murmured meaninglessly, at a loss. She was crying, too, for so many reasons.

Finally she sat Arlene down and took over the tea and pastries herself. “Look,” she said, “Not that it helps much, but I know how you feel. I was where you are now, several years ago, with Andy."

“Oh, yes, I remember her. That was terribly disappointing, too.” She dabbed at her eyes.

“It was. I was so hurt, Arlene. It had been my dream to have her as my Engineer. She would have been on the Reno with me now."

“And why did she leave us?” Arlene asked plaintively.

Kris hesitated. “Personal reasons."

“Balderdash! What's that supposed to mean?” She was angry again.

“Arlene, she wanted to be with her lover,” Kris explained gently.

“Well, why didn't she just marry him? What was he, a civilian? In some other service?"

“He was a she,” Kris said with a crooked smile.

“Oh, dear,” the gray head nodded. “Yes, that would have been a problem. I suppose I should say I hope she's happy with her decision."

“Unfortunately, the relationship didn't last. And she couldn't return to active duty after ... living openly,” Kris tried to be discreet.

Arlene sighed and picked up her cup. “Well, I can see there's no dissuading you, anyhow. My, but you would have been glorious,” she said wistfully.

Kris smiled. “Well, it is glorious, being Captain of the Reno. And honestly, I think being a ship's captain is the best job in the world. I'm not cut out to sail a desk. You know I'm no diplomat."

“Yes, if not for your campaign against sexist language, we'd still be saying, ‘Man the boats,'” Arlene laughed. “You do have a few enemies, but none as powerful as your friends.” She broke a Danish apart. “There's still the Reserves,” she wheedled.

“I'm ... not willing to commit to that,” Kris smiled gently, reaching out to pat her hand. “Athena and I are planning a long trip. I expect to be out of the country quite a bit."

“I hate to lose you, Kris,” Arlene said with a deep sigh.

Kris smiled and shook her head. “You won't, ever. You have a phone and a computer. I'll leave my sat-phone number with you, and we can write or chat any day or everyday. Whenever you like."

“You're welcome to dock here anytime, too, Kris. I'm sure you knew that, but I had to say it again."

“You're a dear friend, Arlene. I can't imagine a life without you in it. I need you the same way my nieces need me,” Kris said sincerely, holding both of Arlene's hands inside her own.

Arlene reached out and patted Kris’ cheek. “I love you, too."

* * * *

As Kris drove, she found herself wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “Stop it!” she snarled, impatient with herself. She tried hard to concentrate just on the road and the traffic, but vivid scenes from her past kept flashing before her mind's eye.

There had been so many good times. After graduation, Kris had been assigned to an ocean-going buoy tender, and she talked her CO into requesting Andy for her second class summer tour. She had amused herself by bracing Andy in her tiny stateroom until she turned purple with rage, then hugging her until she couldn't breathe. They had made a pact then to always try to be stationed together. It had only worked out once, for less than a year, but they had been sure it would happen again. They managed to spend several leaves together, too, in the years before Andy resigned, and they had always been hopeful they would manage to work with or near each other.

Like Arlene, Kris had been hurt, angry, devastated. It was made worse by the fact that they couldn't discuss why, because Andy had to protect Kris. As long as Kris didn't have certain knowledge of Andy's sexuality, she neither had to report it nor be tainted by association. It was over a year before they had been able to meet face to face and repair the damage. Nearly losing Andy had scared Kris. As a senior, single, female officer, she had too few friends already.

Secretly, Kris was almost glad when things didn't work out between Andy and Lorraine. Even though Andy couldn't return to the Guard, she could have a life that included the sea. She had confided to Kris once that the six months she and Lorraine had stayed in the maid business she had done nothing but repair vacuum cleaners, floor polishers and carpet shampooers, driving all around Marin County at all hours of the day and night to deliver and pick up machines or fill in for one or the other of the maids who were always calling in sick. Speaking of sick, it had nauseated Kris to think of her talented best friend reduced to such circumstances.

Later, they had spent one of Kris and the girls’ vacations sailing down to Catalina and back on Andy's boat. It had been a squeeze, but they had had a good time and she was very pleased that Danielle and Carol liked and respected Andy. It was so critical for them to have strong female role models, and Kris wasn't sure what sort of reinforcement they got for being resourceful and independent when she wasn't around. Probably none.

She sighed and glanced down at her road atlas and then at her watch. A couple more hours and she would stop, by sunset. She had made her reservations via the internet so that she wouldn't get a hard time about being a female travelling alone. Once she appeared and showed her government ID, very few people were inclined to argue with her.

As she pulled into the parking lot of her chosen motel that evening, she parked off to the side, away from the front doors, and watched people come and go for a few minutes. She jotted down some info, repeated it a few times to herself, then picked up her car phone. She dialed the hotel number.

“Good evening. Harrisburg Byway Inn. This is Kevin."

“Kevin, I'm calling to confirm a reservation this evening in the name of Kris Nordstrom."

There was the sound of keys tapping. “Oh, yes, Mrs. Nordstrom. We have your reservation here. Are you delayed?"

She grinned. “No, I just wanted to confirm. Thank you."

She got out and walked into the lobby to the registration desk, where she said, “Kevin? I'm Kris Nordstrom. You just confirmed my reservation."

He stared up at her for a long minute, then tapped at his computer. “We were expecting a Captain and Mrs. Nordstrom,” he said smugly. He hated the very sight of a woman in uniform, who might have authority over men. It was unnatural. The Bible said so.

She already had her ID card out. “I'm Captain Nordstrom,” she said, sliding it across the counter.

“You said you were Mrs. Nordstrom,” he whined. Letting women register alone was a no-no, but so was denying a confirmed reservation, especially to anyone who worked for the government.

“No, you said that. May I register now, please? I'd like a room on the second or third floor, nowhere near the snack machines, stairwells or elevator."

He bit his lip and gave her a registration form. “I'll need your driver's license, also,” he said, not meeting her eyes.

“Here you are. Oops, no, that's my concealed weapon permit. Here,” she smiled and gave it to him, and filled in every blank on the form as he fiddled with his computer some more so he wouldn't have to talk to her.

“Thank you,” he mumbled. He took the reservation form back and gave her a key card. “Enjoy your stay. Checkout is 11 A.M."

“Thank you. Have a pleasant evening,” she responded.

Taking her folder and card, she went out, quickly disappearing from view. As soon as she was gone, Kevin consulted her registration form and made a quick call. “This is Kevin at the Byway. I need a special detail on a...” he consulted the registration card, “'99 Ford Mustang. Black, license PA 65000.” Smart-mouthed bitch Kristin K. Nordstrom wouldn't travel unescorted again if he could help it.

* * * *

Kris never removed her gun from its ankle holster until she was in her room for the night. Then she laid the Walther PK 9mm on her nightstand, away from the door, where she could reach it first. She had always taken precautions when travelling, because people were just plain nuts, as she always said. But now she had to take more care than ever. The uniform, the gun, the drive-throughs. She never went in to sit down in restaurants anymore on the road, even in uniform, because even though they had to serve her, the constant staring and muttered insults from other diners were unnerving, even to her. In the car, using the drive-throughs, by the time anyone figured out she was alone, she already had her food. And she carried a cooler with her as well, so she didn't have to buy beverages or snacks or lunch. If she had to shop, she went to a grocery store in the middle of the day, when women were expected to be shopping alone for their families. She had it all worked out.

Once she had gotten her ice she made herself a nice light bourbon, and then she fished out her little black bag of tricks. She made sure the door was locked and the curtains were drawn whenever she got it out, which to tell the truth, was often. Almost every day.

She knew it was an addiction, but she couldn't help it. She was only human, and she didn't have any other way to deal with the stress, the loneliness. But so far she hadn't been caught. Not even Andy knew. She had to be very careful about buying the stuff, her paraphernalia, and about using it. She had always managed to keep it hidden, even aboard ship. On Athena she kept it in a waterproof bag down in the bilges. Aboard her other ships she kept it in the overhead or hollowed out whatever other secret place she could for it. At sea, she only kept a few things with her. At home she had the whole range of equipment, whatever had been invented by others as well as a few unique items of her own.

It was best to be undressed and completely comfortable, of course, so she turned down the bed, piled up some pillows and turned on the TV, flipping through the channels until she found her favorite weeknight anchorwoman. They had been left alone because people loved to hate them. In fact, ratings for shows with women continued to exceed all others, and Kris was glad. She found women's voices soothing while she did what she had to do. Fortunately there were many round-the-clock news shows for junkies like herself. They were almost as necessary to her enjoyment as the equipment.

She selected her latest favorite, something new she had found on an excursion to New York City, and sank onto the bed with a sigh of relief. The hotel room was a pleasant change, especially from the Reno, where someone might knock and interrupt her at any moment. She spread her long, muscular legs wide and, giving the dark blue gel-vibrator a fond look, she turned it on and put it where it would do the most good.

* * * *

Sometime later she woke from a doze and turned over onto her back with a smile. She stretched and took her toy into the bathroom to clean it and get ready for bed. It was a sweet little device, looking like no more than a mere blob of soft, dark blue plastic. It could, and did, conform to any shape and had a firm, smooth feel that was as seductive as any inanimate object could be. The three-speed motor was almost unnecessary, but it was nice to have especially when she was feeling lazy.

She poured another two fingers of bourbon over ice and settled back to actually watch the news this time, but in her pleasant state of relaxed sleepiness, her mind wandered again.

Her first sexual experiences had been with men, boys really, of course. Like most women, she never entertained any other possibility when she was a teenager. She had the usual adolescent experiences, involving the usual sneaking around, whispering, giggling and counting the days to see if she was late. She always thought her lack of satisfaction was due to combined inexperience and her partners’ ineptitude. Her concerns didn't begin until she left the Academy and began having affairs with other officers, men old enough to know how.

It wasn't that they didn't know, either. Mostly it was the preliminaries and the post-coital activities that were a problem for her. For a woman in Kris’ position of power and responsibility, and with her level of self-assurance, dating was itself a problem. If she was asked or her invitation was accepted, there ensued an all-night struggle for superiority or equality over every little thing: where to go, who would drive, who would order, who would pay, to whose home would they finally go and so on. And the conversations were pitiful. Whenever Kris decided it was her turn to talk, her date's eyes would glaze over and when it was his turn again, his response was usually to steer the discussion back to himself or his interests. If the topic was the sea, it worked out. Any other area was potential quicksand.

If they got as far as bed, most men's egos required them to satisfy every woman with whom they were intimate, especially one as challenging as Kris. Getting her off was a point of honor. If they couldn't do it, they would have to question their masculinity forever. That was seldom a problem, though. Kris was responsive as hell and had no problem giving directions and getting what she wanted. But after all that was over, the usual snoring, bed-hogging and sniffing around for more in the morning, followed by breakfast, was all but inevitable. Kris really wanted to just screw and go home. By the time she got as far as screwing, she felt she had done more than enough. If she was at his place, his snoring was her signal to call a cab. If she was at home, which she tried to avoid, she had a variety of ways to encourage her guests’ departure. Being a ship's Captain or XO provided enough of an excuse almost any time.

She tried and tried to find a soul mate, but was unwilling and unable to compromise much to do it. Because she was bright and desirable, she had plenty of opportunities, but after several years, Kris had just about decided it wasn't worth it. She even developed an easy test to eliminate all but the most competitive men. She simply said, “When shall I pick you up?” If they resisted being driven, she let it go and just called to cancel later on, while they still had a chance to find another date for the occasion.

Her screening device saved her a lot of grief and pared away a good three-quarters of all possible suitors. She had a lot more time to herself that way, which made it possible for her to complete a master's degree in oceanography and do a couple of service schools as well, helping her career to move right along at a good clip, which enabled her to get promoted faster, which intimidated and eliminated still more men. It was nice not to have to endure the hassle of dating and searching, but at the same time, she was lonely.

Then one summer, everything changed.

It was the summer before she went to Key West. To prepare her for working with Spanish-speakers in a variety of situations, the Guard sent her to the Defense Language Institute at the Presidio of Monterey, south of San Francisco, for an intensive Spanish course.

There, on the first day, she met Janet McCarthy, a DEA agent on her way to a tour in Laredo, Texas. Tall, blonde, assertive, even brash, Janet took one look at Kris and in less than 24 hours, in less than six, as a matter of fact, they were lovers. She rushed Kris out of orientation, into the club for a drink, out for dinner, back into her car and out of it into her bed before Kris could even remember the words “no,” “wait,” or “maybe.” These words seldom passed her lips at all with regard to anything Janet wanted to do with her or to her over the six weeks it took them to complete the course.

There, on the first day, she met Janet McCarthy, a DEA agent on her way to a tour in Laredo, Texas. Tall, blonde, assertive, even brash, Janet took one look at Kris and in less than 24 hours, in less than six, as a matter of fact, they were lovers. She rushed Kris out of orientation, into the club for a drink, out for dinner, back into her car and out of it into her bed before Kris could even remember the words “no,” “wait,” or “maybe.” These words seldom passed her lips at all with regard to anything Janet wanted to do with her or to her over the six weeks it took them to complete the course.

For the first time in her adult life, Kris knew who she really was. She didn't have to make every decision, or any decision. She was romanced half to death by this cosmically sexy, sensuous, zany woman who knew every trick in the book and pushed buttons she didn't even know she had.

* * * *

“Don't you dare tell me you didn't know you were a lesbian,” Janet, herself a Texan, drawled during their first marathon orgy. Kris had always thought she hated drawls. Evidently she had been wrong about that, too. They were whispering, because the walls of the visitor's quarters were paper-thin and they had to be careful.

“I thought that might be why I don't relate well to men, but honestly, I didn't want to know."

“Coward. Are you sorry?” Janet demanded.

Kris looked up at her and hesitated, biting her lip.

Janet reached beneath the sheets and gave her reason to recall why they were there in the first place. “Well?"

“No!” Kris yipped. “No, I'm not sorry at all now."

“No, what?” Janet prodded.

“No, lover."

“That's better, Commander. Much better,” she rewarded Kris with a kiss.

Kris grinned. The promotion was very recent. “Lieutenant Commander,” she corrected gently.

“Takes too long. Come here, Commander,” Janet whispered.

“Yes, Ma'am, Special Agent,” Kris responded eagerly.

“Let's play submarine. You go down on me,” Janet instructed.

“The Coast Guard doesn't have submarines,” Chris protested with a smile.

“Shut up and make like a submarine, Commander,” Janet tried to frown but failed. “Please, lover? You're so good."

“I know you're lying. I never did this before I met you,” Kris said, but she slid down the bed and under Janet willingly.

“I don't have to lie. You are a supremely sensuous woman, Kris. Ah ... oh ... yes, God, I am so glad I found you. Yes, just like that ... mmmmmmmmmm."

Kris was still learning, still exploring. She let her tongue run lazily over Janet's folds, and was immensely gratified when the other woman lifted her hips to get more.

“Oh ... you really know how to do me,” the big woman sighed.

And to Kris, the DEA agent was all woman and nothing but woman and nothing like any other woman she had ever known. Kris loved her lithe, smoothly powerful body, similar to her own but different in so many pleasant ways. Making love to her was fun! Kris squeezed the hard, tight buns and ran her fingers over the smooth roundness of Janet's belly as she licked and kissed and caressed the moist warmth of Janet's loving but demanding womanhood. When Kris felt the tight muscles contract even more, she knew she was doing well.

“Oh, my God, sweetie ... yes!” After that Kris could hear nothing but garbled cries as Janet had pulled a pillow over her own face to shield them from discovery. The hips heaved up into Kris's adoring tongue again and again. It seemed forever until Janet was satisfied but Kris would have stayed where she was beyond forever. She didn't know how she had lived without another woman for so long.

“Oh, baby, oh, honey,” Janet sobbed, yanking Kris up into her arms. “What are you doing to me? I thought I had some control."

“You're teaching me I don't have any,” Kris whispered, “and whenever you're ready, I'd really like to lose control again. I have lost so much time."

“Let me fix that,” Janet offered. “Jesus, when I saw you, I was sure you must have someone."

“I do now,” Kris sighed. “Oh, Janet, make love to me again."

“I'll never stop,” Janet promised. “Never.” They kissed deeply as Janet rolled Kris onto her back. “I want to taste you. I want you to come all over me."

Kris gasped as Janet's fingers found their target. “Oh, Janet, baby, baby..."

Janet moved over on top of Kris, pushing her legs apart. She made Kris hump her thigh while they continued their frenzied ravishing of one another, and then when Kris’ whimpering was at its most pitiful, Janet slipped down to finish what she had started. Her tongue plunged into Kris, drawing out the thick honey and spreading it over her labia and clit.

Kris cried out and realized she mustn't be that noisy. She clamped her hands over her mouth and moaned, her hips rolling from side to side as Janet demanded every ounce of response Kris had in her. She came and came to the devouring tongue of this Amazon, and swore she would never love anyone else this way. They had known each other less than three days, and Janet was her one and only.

“Oh, Janet, my love,” Kris sighed.

Janet's head popped up. “Really?” she asked eagerly.

“Oh, is it too early? I wasn't thinking. I mean—"

“You already said what you mean,” Janet told her lover. “You're too much woman and too good for me, but if you'll have me—"

“I can't imagine doing this, feeling this way with anyone else. I waited so long, I can wait to get together with you. I can,” Kris promised.

“You're unbelievable. Too good to be true,” Janet breathed, flopping on her back beside Kris.

“And safe. We're safe for each other, right?” Kris pleaded. “We could both lose so much—"

“No, we won't. We'll be strong for each other. We'll protect each other. There are ways. I'll show you what we need to do. In six weeks, you'll be as good at having a secret lover as I have had to be. So we can always be there for each other."

Kris curled against Janet's long, lean flank and kissed her shoulder. “Yes, teach me. Teach me how to be your lover."

Janet tried to hold back her tears of joy, but she couldn't. “It's insane, but I love you, Kris."

“Not as much as I love you.” She put her hand over Janet's heart, and Janet covered it with her own.

“Shh, honey, don't cry. Let's enjoy this and let the future worry about itself."

* * * *

They knew they were taking a tremendous chance, but the fantastic sex and instant bond clouded their judgment. For the first time, Kris combined her strength with her lover's instead of competing against it. Five years older and three inches taller than Kris, Janet wasn't even good-looking. Gangly, freckled, with frizzy, strawberry blond hair framing a long-jawed face that was just short of horsey, Kris absolutely adored her. She knew and loved every freckle, and was especially fond of the ones least frequently seen by others.

It was a magical time, those six weeks. Both of them barely passed the course and neither of them cared. Every weekend they went separately to a different hotel in San Francisco or elsewhere, just as long as it was a safe distance from the Presidio. There were long walks in the fog, long dinners in seaside restaurants, long, lazy afternoons in bed.

Both women were deeply in love, but both were securely locked into their careers and neither was foolish enough to have illusions about running away together. They promised each other nothing more than to plan a vacation within a year. They both rented private post office boxes and wrote using only initials. Janet taught Kris that every phone call or e-mail should be treated like a billboard that everyone could read. Their only true privacy, their only intimacy, occurred when they were alone together.

They were constantly watchful, never going to one another's homes or places of duty, never calling one another at work. In the spring following their course together, they met in the Virgin Islands. The winter after that, they chose Acapulco. Just before Kris left Key West for Maine, where her tour on the icebreaker, the Polar Sky, would begin, they went to Maui. Then Kris went back and took another week to bring Athena up to Maine where she would be berthed while Kris was out in the ice. When she finally got her phone line hooked up in the marina, she had an e-mail message asking her to call Janet's number in Laredo.

Puzzled, she called. A man's voice answered in a soft, Texas drawl. “Hello?"

She was startled. “Um, hello?"

“Who is this?” he asked politely.

“Who is this?” she demanded, annoyed.

“This is James, Jim McCarthy. I'm ... Janet's brother.” His voice broke slightly and Kris sat down hard. Suddenly she had a feeling of utter dread.

“This is Kris, Janet's friend,” she whispered.

“Kris? Kris with a ‘K’ ?” he asked.

“Yes. Why? What's going on?"

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry to have to tell you. Janet's gone. I mean, she died. She was killed last Tuesday,” He gave in and stared to cry.

“No!” Kris howled. A black pit yawned before her and she spiraled down into it. “Oh, no! Dear God, no!"

He recovered some of his composure. “It was supposed to be just a routine warehouse inspection. Someone inside panicked and opened fire. We don't have all the details yet. There's an investigation. But ... she was shot, and she died right there."

Sheets of tears poured down Kris’ cheeks. “Nononononono,” she whimpered, “I was just with her last Sunday."

Jim stuttered a bit, and then said, “I ... I know this won't help, but her last words were, ‘Kris, my love, so so sorry.’”

“What? What did you say?” Kris demanded. “How do you know?"

“The agent who was with her, he was holding her when she died. He heard her. He thought it would be important, so he wrote it right down.” Jim took a deep breath. “Look, where are you? I have to see you. Right away."

“I have to see you, too,” Kris said tightly.

Although her head was spinning and she knew she was going to have to throw up, Kris told him how to get to her in Maine. The ship wouldn't leave port for another couple of weeks. She had time.

“I'll be there tomorrow,” he promised. “I'll take a taxi to the marina."

She called her new CO and begged another two days leave promising to make it up. Her reputation had preceded her and it was granted.

When Jim stepped out of the cab, she knew him instantly, he was so like Janet. Without a word he followed her aboard Athena and down into the lounge. Then she turned to him with eyes full of grief and he just caught her before she collapsed.

Holding her tightly, he whispered, “God, she was right. You are lovely."

“You're crazy. I look like hell. I haven't slept. I've been drinking."

“Lovely,” he repeated. “Through and through."

They sat down. Kris asked, “Did she tell you about me?” That seemed most unlike Janet to her.

Jim shook his head. “No. She wrote a letter and some poetry. Here,” he said. “I have some things.” He opened his bag and pulled out a leather-bound notebook, an envelope, a small case. “She wanted you to have these. It wasn't in her will but we found this note in her wallet.” He handed her the little stack with the note on top.

She took it and held it in her lap, looking at him intently. “You are very much like her. Different, but still the same."

“Don't you want to see?” He motioned. “Or would you rather be alone?"

“Actually, I'd hate to be alone.” She opened the case. It contained Janet's badge and her Texas A&M class ring. “Oh, no, I shouldn't have these.” Tears poured down her cheeks again.

“She said specifically to give them to you. Read the note. It's the truth."

Kris unfolded it and read aloud, “'Jim, give my badge and ring to Kris Nordstrom if anything ever happens to me. There's a letter and a tape in my top dresser drawer, and a notebook, too. Once I'm gone it won't matter that you know. I loved her, Jim. She was the light of my life, the best thing that ever happened to me, and I need to be sure that she will know it. I know I can trust you to handle it. All my love, Janet.’”

Kris broke down and wept again. She wanted to die. She wanted to be with Janet wherever she was. Her life had suddenly become unbearable.

Jim moved over and sat beside her, holding her tightly, letting her tears soak his shirt, while his fell into her hair. “I had to know you,” he murmured. “I had to know what Janet loved so much. Damn, she was mad about you! I wish she'd told us!"

“She couldn't. Too dangerous,” Kris said, her words muffled against his chest.

“I know. I understand.” He patted her back.

Finally she seemed to gather herself. “Let me make us some coffee."

“Got anything to put in it?” he asked hopefully.

“Bourbon. I didn't drink all of it,” she laughed a little.

“Good."

When they sat down again, Jim pulled out another note from the envelope. “Here's what her partner wrote,” he said gently. It was a sheet torn out of a notebook, creased and stained with dried blood. Hastily scrawled, it said, “Oh Chris, my love. So so sorry."

“Is this ... her ... her...?” Kris asked bleakly.

“Yes. I'm sorry. I know it's sort of gruesome, but the funeral was over before we could reach you. It's all that's left now."

“Thank you. Where ... where is she...” Kris couldn't bring herself to say “buried."

“In Austin. Someday when you come, I'll take you,” he promised.

“In the spring, when the bluebells are blooming,” Kris whispered, remembering the things Janet had told her about the countryside around her hometown.

“Yes."

She looked up into his sad eyes and then, ever so gradually, her hand on his knee, she leaned over and kissed him gently on the lips. “Let me say goodbye to her,” she pleaded.

“Give me a chance to understand her better,” Jim whispered back, holding her close.

After a moment she rose and gave him her hand. She led him into her bedroom and closed the door.

* * * *

With a bittersweet smile, Kris finished her drink and turned off the light. About a year after Jim's visit, she received a birth announcement. Jim and his new wife were the proud parents of Janet Kristin Cortez-McCarthy. Kris flew down for the baptism and put bluebells on Janet's grave. She gave Jim a copy of her new will and said, “So little Janet will get her aunt's ring and badge back someday."

“I have something for you, too,” he said, pulling a small case from his jacket pocket. Inside was a miniature of the DEA Administrator's Medal of Honor, which Janet had been awarded posthumously.

“Oh, Jim, this is wonderful! I don't know how to thank you,” Kris whispered, her eyes misting over.

“Believe me, you've done more than enough already,” he reassured her as they turned away from the grave, arms around each other's shoulders. She had given them a bond for Janet's education as a christening gift. It was extravagant, but she didn't care.

“What you did for me,” she began.

“What we did for each other,” he interrupted with a smile.

Kris smiled, too. “It doesn't bring her back. But that, and this,” she held up the case, “And little Janet all help a lot. Now I think I can get on with my life."

“Do it for Janet,” he told her.

“I will. You, too."

CHAPTER 5

TotalNet News Ticker, July 28, 2006. New York, New York. Police were needed to break up a protest by the True Fundamental Covenant and Islamic National Covenant outside Immanuel Lutheran Church, where several women were being ordained. No arrests were made and no injuries were reported.

* * * *

Andy was lying on the couch with the phone to her ear. The cats were playing on her legs. She was rolling her eyes, gagging, pretending to shoot herself. “Si ... si ... si...” she said, wondering what she had done to anger God this time.

Finally she was able to disengage. “Si ... si. Ti amo. Bye bye.” She hung up. “Oy veh!” she said, putting her face in her hands.

She got up and paced around the room in tight circles, working on the problem. Jacko and Teddy chased her shoelaces until she scooped one up in each hand. “You guys are pests,” she said, nuzzling them. “Go fuck each other."

She put them down and picked up the phone again.

“Kris? It's me. How are your plans coming? Yeah? Yeah? Good!” She always felt calmer when she talked to Kris. Sort of. Her mind slowed down but her heart sped up. It soothed her to hear Kris’ resonant voice relating the orderly plans and arrangements she had been making for her upcoming journey through the Panama Canal to Oakland. But the imminence of Kris’ arrival just about made her wet her pants. As they chatted, the germ of an idea began to ferment in her mind.

“So, when exactly are you leaving? Mmm-hmm, and stopping where? Key West? Grand Cayman? Yeah?” She wrote it all down. “And gimme your new sat-phone number, while we're at it.” She scribbled some more. “By the way, got a minute? I need some counseling."

She told Kris how, ever since she had left Lorraine, her parents had been after her to get involved with men again, as though it was something she could switch on and off at will. “And now with all the pressures on homosexuals and feminists, they're afraid I'll get hurt if I don't get married. I keep putting off going down there because I don't wanna deal with these guys they have lined up."

“You have two choices. Keep putting it off or go there and have it out. You can't go there and expect not to have a confrontation, unless you want to marry one of these guys,” Kris teased her.

“I don't even want to meet them, let alone marry them,” Andy said firmly.

“You know what to do, then. Plead work, your classes, whatever."

“I know you're right. I'll just put it off as long as I can. When I get up the courage to say no once and for all, I'll go. I just don't want to be cut off again if I can help it. They never spoke to me after I went down there with Lorraine until I sent them my new address and told them why I had moved. Then they pretended it never happened."

“I'm sorry you feel forced to choose. It's a shame."

“Explain why we have families, again?” Andy asked plaintively.

Kris burst out laughing. “To keep us from taking our privacy and independence for granted."

“Oh, yeah. I forgot. All set for your vacation with the girls?"

“Yeah. Wish you could join us. But I'll see you soon anyhow,” Kris was philosophical.

Andy's heart leaped to hear that Kris wanted to see her, no matter how unrealistic her expectations probably were. “Me, too. Give them my love. Call me from the lake."

“Will do. Take care, mi amiga,” Kris said fondly.

After she hung up, Andy went to her computer and brought up her calendar. Since she had been alone a long time and hadn't been visiting her family, she seldom took time off, and now she had more than enough vacation days stockpiled for whatever she wanted to do.

Even though she was the only one who had a clue; not even Kris could possibly know, her hands were sweating when she started looking up flights to Boston. Waiting for this and that bargain airline ticket site to load, surfing endlessly for hotel info on the net, Andy had plenty of time to think.

Going with Lorraine to San Francisco had been one of the hardest things Andy had ever done, as it had cut her adrift from the Coast Guard and Kris. Then, cut adrift again, this time from Lorraine and her financial security, she managed to re-establish her ties to Kris, but by then she had a lot of lost time to make up in terms of her career and saving money.

She remembered the first job she had found after they sold the business, but more than a year before she moved out. It hadn't paid much, and seldom on time, but then it hadn't mattered because she had a home. She had been taken on by a guy who had a “fleet” of three fishing boats, one of which he lived on. He pretty much expected her to keep the gears turning through the skillful application of paper clips, bubble-gum and lubricant. Andy was great at spot repairs but she knew they wouldn't last, and he wouldn't bust enough money loose for a major overhaul, which was what he really needed. There was the safety factor, or lack thereof, to be considered as well. She was always afraid that one of the engines would overheat when they were out, leaving them at the mercy of the wind and the swells. Good luck rowing a loaded trawler home in heavy seas.

The insecurity of that job motivated her to look elsewhere and after about six months she found a job at a fancy marina on the San Francisco side of the Bay. That would have done her just fine except that the high-rollers who put in there thought they could roll her, too. After one of them forced her to push him off the dock to defend herself, Andy started looking again. About that same time she moved over to Alameda, and it was the daily ferry ride back and forth that led her to her break. With all the commuting time on her hands, she wandered the decks until she came across a bulletin board where job openings were posted for the Bay Area Ferry Systems.

This time, being a woman and a Hispanic worked in Andy's favor. With her experience and her degree in Naval Engineering and Architecture, she was hired within 30 days of turning in the highest test scores ever recorded. She had to begin at the bottom of the engineering ladder, but within 18 months or so, she was working and earning at a higher level than she ever had. At night she began to study for her various certification levels, so that becoming Master of one of the ferries was not at all inconceivable.

In the ensuing five years, she had socked away a lot of money. Her continuing education was paid for primarily by the same government agency that employed her. She had a transportation pass all over the nine-county Bay Area as a perk, in fact, a necessity for her job as she moved from one system to another, trouble-shooting, upgrading and supervising overhauls. Her little car stayed parked so much of the time, she never needed a new one.

She was due for a long vacation, so she completed her research, put in for the time off, packed her bags and waited for word that Kris was about to cast off from Boston.

* * * *

Koko finally remembered she had been meaning to call Andy. She looked up the number and dialed.

“Koko?” Andy sounded pleased.

“Yes,” Koko told her. “It's me. How are you? Haven't seen or heard from you in a while."

“Oh, you know,” Andy told her. “I try to keep busy. Work, studying, my boat,” she stalled. She knew where this was going.

“Oh, stop it,” Koko laughed. “I'm not going to nag you about your spiritual welfare. I just miss you. Want to have lunch?"

“Yeah, but I never know where I'm going to be on work days. Can we do it Saturday? I'm going on vacation soon and I won't be back until the end of September at the earliest."

Koko decided taking a lunch break from her sermon writing on Saturday wouldn't kill her. “Sure. You can tell me all about your plans.” After they hung up Koko realized she hadn't heard Andy sound so animated since her breakup with Lorraine. She hoped for Andy that something wonderful was happening in her life.

* * * *

“So what's up?” Andy and Koko said simultaneously, then they laughed and exchanged hugs. After they ordered soup and sandwiches, Koko said, “You first."

“Okay, um,” and Andy flushed visibly despite her olive coloring. “I'm going to surprise my friend Kris in Boston."

“Whoa, whoa, back up. Who's Kris and what's the surprise?"

Andy explained who Kris was and that she was coming to Oakland, and that once she arrived they would be working on a plan to save her nieces from the Oafs in general and their father in particular. “But it's more than that, Koko. I know it's crazy, I'm not even sure of her sexuality, but I am so, so in love with her. I've felt this way for years, off and on, but now it's all the way on."

“Tell me about it,” Koko invited, starting on her soup. Listening was one of the things she did best.

Andy did, and she did it with such excitement and such a glow that inwardly, Koko quailed. What if this Kris didn't or couldn't return Andy's affection? I'll throttle her with my own bare hands, Koko thought. Of course this revelation also put an end to her scheme to introduce Andy and Nik, but no reason the three of them still couldn't be friends. If Kris were anywhere near as bright as Andy, and they were all feminists and possibly all lesbians, they would at least start out with enough in common.

“And I promise, if Kris feels anything for me and it looks like it could work out, I'll bring her to church and introduce you,” Andy breathlessly wrapped up her monologue.

“Are you prepared in case she doesn't?” Koko asked gently, her hand over Andy's.

Andy took a deep breath. “I guess I have to be. I mean, my plan is to take it slow and careful. If I sense resistance or disinterest, I'll back off and leave her alone. I can't afford to lose her as a friend. That almost happened once before, because of Lorraine. Not because of her, exactly, but because I left the Guard."

“Ah, yes. That Kris. You said losing your marriage and your best friend would have been too much. You made it up with Kris,” Koko nodded, remembering.

“Yes, and I know it must make her look kind of mean to have been so upset with me for getting out, but she was my friend way before I met Lorraine and I guess she expected more loyalty. I reminded her we didn't have to stop being friends because our lives worked out differently, and I guess I kissed her butt a little, and she forgave me.” Andy sighed. “She really, really wanted me to be the engineer on her ships, and I had wanted it, too but ... I just couldn't have lived that close to her without intimacy. If I had made a move, not only would it have been inappropriate with her as my boss, but with it being illegal, she would have had to reject it and have me thrown out. That would have been worse than what I did."

Koko nodded. “Go on."

Andy continued, “So, being that close to her, and keeping my feelings hidden would have torn me up, and then I couldn't have gotten involved with anyone else because I didn't want anyone else. That's what happened these last three years, and she wasn't even here."

“That's why you never introduced me to any of your girlfriends, huh?"

“Maybe I should have tried harder, but my heart kept taking over from my head. It would have been wrong to pretend. I'd go East for a week, see her and the girls, come home more in love than ever.” Andy laughed. “At least now I have all the vacation time I need. I could have taken more, but it would have hurt worse."

She stopped and ate some of her sandwich, thinking, then she went on. “You know, I don't know how she did it all those years. She's been alone all her life. I guess maybe she doesn't need that much affection, or else loving her nieces is enough. I don't know. God, twenty years! Okay, I know there were some men, she's not a virgin, but it never worked out. That's why I'm thinking, okay, now's she's vulnerable and available. This is my best chance."

Koko decided she had better take a chance, too. “Remember, people who haven't had a relationship may just think they don't need one. Either she actually doesn't or she's been terribly hurt, or she's got herself fooled. That makes you very vulnerable, too. You be careful.” If Andy got hurt again, Koko would have to be ready for some very major counseling. She'd been there before with Andy. It wasn't pretty. Andy wore it all on her sleeve. She was so open and loving and generous. Koko would be furious with Kris if she rejected Andy's affections. Some pastor I am, she thought. Ready to judge and condemn the woman before I even meet her!

“I will. I promise. And when I get home, if everything goes okay, we'll come to church."

“You come anyway,” Koko commanded. “There's someone I want you to meet, a professor of physics at Stanford. She's so cerebral I hardly understand most of what she says, but one thing she's said that I do understand is that she's disturbed about single women, lesbians, feminists, anybody on the Oafs’ hit list. Sounds like a shared concern among the three of you. Kris or no Kris, I think she would be good for you to know. You would certainly be good for her."

“Physics!” Andy whistled. “You know what discipline?"

“Astronomy."

“Is she cute? Maybe I don't want Kris to meet her!” Andy kidded.

“Stop that, you horny so-and-so. Yes, she's cute, but you go enjoy your vacation. All that time out of the country, you won't want to come back."

“Will, too!” Andy smiled. “I'll call you the minute I get home."

They stood and went out together. “Vaya con Dios,” Koko grinned. They hugged again and went their separate ways.

* * * *

TotalNet News Ticker, July 29, 2006. Cheyenne, Wyoming. RV parks all around the state are becoming jammed with new residents as the NRN begins its campaign to take the State House in the fall elections.

CHAPTER 6

TotalNet News Ticker, August 2, 2006. Washington, DC. An NRN spokesman announced today that a top item on the party's agenda this fall will be the passage of legislation to increase defense assistance to Syria and Iran. They intend to eliminate support for the National Endowment for the Arts.

* * * *

“I can't believe this!” Dani ground out, throwing down a stack of papers. “Sunday School homework! On vacation!"

“Yeah, and we have to travel in skirts or dresses,” Carol grumbled, following her into her room. “But that's only until we get to the boat, at least. Not the whole trip."

“I'm gonna ask Aunt Kris to stop as soon as we get out of town so I can change.” Dani declared.

“Me, too!” Carol clapped a hand over her mouth a nanosecond too late.

Dani poked her. “Don't say a word about changing until we get on the Interstate, and I won't tease you about that."

“Okay,” Carol agreed quickly, flouncing over to sprawl on her sister's bed. “Can you believe she'll be here tomorrow? I feel like I've been in prison all year."

“I can't wait to see her. I just can't,” Dani said, moving her chair to face Carol and shaking her head. “I hate my life except for her.” She saw the pained expression on her sister's face and added quickly, “And you, Ky. I didn't mean it that way."

Carol immediately brightened and leaned forward to hug Dani. “I knew that, honest!” She flopped back again. “I can't believe we had to wear these dresses all summer so we could go!"

“I can't believe we have to wear them back to school! But I would do anything to be with Aunt Kris. I would wear my underpants on my head!” Dani said, and to prove her point, she took some from her drawer and removed the plaid headscarf she wore with her dress. “How do you think Daddy would like this?” she asked, hooking the crotch under her chin.

Carol screamed with laughter, gasping for air, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Dani observed the effect in the mirror. “I mean, as long as it matched the dress, would he even realize it was underpants?” She turned her head from side to side. “What a shame I don't have a blue, pastel plaid dress."

“Stop it! You're killing me!” Carol hooted.

Dani smiled, pleased with herself for distracting her sister, and put the underwear away. “Let's try not to think about school now. Let's just think about being away from here, with Aunt Kris, on a boat. We'll think we've died and gone to heaven."

Carol recovered slowly, gasping for breath. She nodded.

Dani continued. “Listen, there's a lot she doesn't know, things we have to tell her about, face to face. She'll know what to do. She'll help us. Okay? Now,” she yanked Carol off her bed, “Go finish packing, Ensign. I'll inspect in an hour. Beat it."

Carol tried to grin. “Aye, Lieutenant.” She dragged herself off. She hated being thrown out, but sometimes Dani demanded to be alone and she had to accept it.

Dani waited a few minutes, checking her own luggage and stacks of clothing, then took out her diary. She didn't want Ky to read it because it was where she vented her spleen about her parents. She started a new page.

* * * *

Dad and Mom are such a pain. They got our Sunday School teacher to make up a lesson for us to do every day, so we can't forget about church and the Bible, even on vacation. And Dad said Aunt Kris has to make us do it because she's our godmother.

I know Aunt Kris will, too. She'll say to do it so we can be left alone. She always says stuff like, “It won't last forever,” and “You'll leave home to go to college. If they don't trust you they won't let you go.” Personally I don't think they will anyway. I don't think Daddy will let me apply to the Academy and I probably won't even get to go to college unless I major in Home Economics. It just gets worse all the time. Pretty soon they'll be talking about a husband and children. Just after school got out there were two weddings at our church. These girls who had just graduated from high school married these men who were probably at least 30. I don't think either of them wanted to.

* * * *

Dani stopped and thought, then wrote again.

* * * *

I don't know how long I can stand it. I know I have to listen to Aunt Kris, and I will as long as I can but if she can't help us, I'm not going to let them make me get married. I'll save up all my money in case we have to run away.

* * * *

She meant to write more about her fears and her feelings, but being a teenager, her imagination got the better of her and she let her mind wander ahead to the houseboat, where she could just be herself with her sister and her aunt.

Ky came back before an hour was up and pounded on her door. “Dani! E-mail!” she shouted, as if her sister wasn't less than six feet away.

“You just can't follow orders, can you?” Dani complained, but she followed Ky into her room. Dani's computer had been restored to her, but if Ky was on-line, Dani couldn't be, since they shared one line for both computers.

“Aunt Kris just sent it,” Ky informed her, pointing to the screen.

Dani read it silently. “Be standing by to shove off at 0900. Luggage and coolers on the sidewalk or the Captain will want to know why.” It was signed “Love, Aunt Kris."

Dani laughed. “She thinks she's so clever. Actually, she is."

“What do you mean? I'm sending back. ‘Aye, Captain. Orders received and understood. Love, Dani and Ky.’ Is that okay?” Carol asked as she typed.

“Fine. She's just outside of town, is what I mean. She could come on in and spend the night, but she won't."

Carol turned, her round face troubled. “Why won't she?"

Dani squeezed her shoulder. “She doesn't want to watch Mom scurrying around like Edith Bunker and listen to Dad preach at her all night about her obligations to marry and have a family."

Carol snorted. “As if! Like she needs to be married. Like she needs kids. She has us!"

“What if she did get married?” Dani countered. “Would you be upset?"

“Yeah, if she married an Oaf. Not if she married a nice guy. Remember how you told me what Aunt Kris said about her finding a man? She said she'd have to live in a city, but she's not going to. She wants to sail around the world,” Ky's voice broke. “Without us."

“Now, you listen up, Ensign,” Dani said. “It really won't be forever. Don't let her catch you crying. It will upset her real bad. When we go to college we can see her more. She'll always come back for us."

“Okay,” Ky said in a small voice. “So at least if she's not in the US, they can't catch her and make her get married."

“That's right. Can't you see her in one of these dresses?” Dani asked, twirling around like a ballerina.

“Ewwwwww!” Carol made a face. “She would never let them!"

“That's right. So if she wants to stay single and independent, she can't be where we are. We have to let her go, until we can go to her. Okay? Remember that."

Carol nodded and dried her tears with a tissue. “I won't say anything. I don't want her to be sad."

“Me, either."

* * * *

Kris grinned as she signed off. She didn't know what Harry and Cindy were so worried about. Dani and Ky were good girls, bright and respectful. They were silly and stubborn sometimes, too, but they were kids! They didn't do drugs, sleep around or cut school. Kris doubted either of them had even kissed a boy yet, much less had sex with one, especially since they had joined that True Fundamental church and were under their parents’ thumb more than ever. They went to school, played sports and used their computers for everything, just like most kids their age. With the additional demands of their new church, they had even less time for the usual teenage pursuits and still they managed.

She stood up and stretched, turning down her bed and turning on the TV. It would take her all of thirty minutes to get to their house in the morning. She could have stayed there tonight, but then no light bourbon, no little black bag, no privacy. She couldn't bear to watch the girls slink around under their parents’ suspicious glare. Ever since Dani had defied them about her Bible, they hadn't trusted her completely, although if Dani had followed her orders to the letter, there was no reason for her parents to be concerned. They e-mailed her every night and she kept them focused on their future no matter where she was. They deleted each and every serious e-mail the minute they read or sent it, and kept a stock of meaningless, phony, superficial ones to send back and forth at intervals that they could show their parents.

It wasn't that Kris wanted them to deceive Harry and Cindy or sneak around on them, but Kris knew her nieces well. They trusted and respected her and even liked her despite the fact that she was an adult in a position of authority. In fact, they seemed to like that best of all, that they could lean on her and obey her and not feel as if they were losing their autonomy or self-respect. And she liked it, too. She knew that they and many of the young female sailors she had commanded looked up to and admired her as a role model. But because they were her nieces, she could also cuddle and love them and talk nonsense to them, which she could hardly do with the young Coasties she commanded. These were her own girls, and if she wanted to play with them, she could.

She could also play with herself, and she was about to. It was almost time for the evening news, and her little blue friend awaited her on the nightstand. She turned up the sound and slid between the sheets.

* * * *

TotalNet News Ticker, August 3, 2006. Jerusalem, Israel. The Knesset passed a bill today allowing American women of Jewish ancestry to stay in Israel as legal aliens if their civil rights in the United States are endangered. A panel has been formed to formulate eligibility details.

* * * *

The next morning Kris carefully checked her appearance in the mirror before she went out. She wanted to look as good for her nieces as she did when she took command of a ship or reported to a new superior. The patent, ankle-high dress boots, sharply creased trousers, crisply-ironed shirt with devices flawlessly aligned, shiny gold stripes on black epaulets, hair neatly combed, white hat cover spotless; everything checked out.

Across from her room, on the other side of the lot, a Chevrolet Caprice sat on its axles, while two young men in dark suits and white shirts ran around it yelling into cell phones. “GOD HATES GAYS” was spray-painted on one side, while “WOMEN: OBEY!” decorated the other. Kris shook her head as she loaded her rented BMW, which sported red and white “I love an Oaf” bumper stickers, front and back. The rental agency made them standard equipment on any car rented to a single woman, and Kris accepted them as camouflage, the way she did the wearing of her uniform. It was too bad about the Caprice, but Kris was always careful to target only those cars driven by unaccompanied men. They could cope with the insurance hassles and delays a lot better than she could when she was travelling alone. She made sure to change hotel chains every night and to stay in different cities altogether on her return trips. Anyway, it would be a long time before she drove through Ohio again.

She lowered the rag top, took off her hat and headed west again. In half an hour, Danielle and Carol would be in her arms. She wished Andy could join them as she frequently did, but Kris understood that Andy was saving her vacation time for her arrival in Oakland. Also, Andy didn't have a uniform she could travel in, although she certainly had a gun. As a Latina, Andy was only being prudent not to travel unescorted into the “Heartland of America” in these rough times.

But she did think longingly of Andy. Last night, and many nights recently, Kris had finally begun allowing herself to think of Andy in different ways. She knew Andy was alone at the moment. It had been a long time for both of them, and Kris wondered if Andy ever thought of her in a romantic way, too. Andy was a little pepper-pot, dynamic, energetic and sexy. Kris had always known how attractive she was but this information was in a compartment of her mind to which the door had been firmly shut for many years. After Janet, Kris refused to even consider anyone else. The pain was too great. And later on, after she had adjusted to Janet's loss, the idea of having a lover only twice a year for a week at a time had been totally unacceptable. She needed a lover, if she was to have one, of whom she could be sure. One she came home to every night, one who was in her life, not one who could be taken from her at any second. After Janet, Kris had decided she would wait until retirement, but once she got out, she would absolutely not wait one second longer than she had to. Besides, one of the advantages to her relatively early retirement ought to be a loving and lasting relationship. She had put it off long enough, and she had certainly earned it.

As she drove through the suburb of Dayton, she noticed few girls on the streets, although the boys were out, playing baseball, riding bikes, jumping up and down curbs on their skateboards. The girls she saw were not playing anything. Instead, they huddled in groups near the front porches, talking and reading. They wore long dresses and some kind of little scarves on their heads. “Oaf fashion,” Kris recalled from things she had seen on the news. Being on the Interstate for two days she had seen very little of this, nor had she seen very much in Boston. Until now, it had been just a series of news items. In just a few minutes, it would become her reality.

She approached the split-level ranch at 0859 precisely. There were Dani and Ky sitting on the front steps, surrounded by suitcases and coolers. Kris eased the sports car in to the curb and arranged her hat smartly at the correct angle. The girls jumped up so Kris could see they were both wearing long plaid jumpers with white cotton shirts underneath. “Can it, Nordstrom,” Kris ordered herself under her breath. By the time she had opened the door and stood up her nieces were streaking down the walk toward her, but then they stopped dead. Kris knew why. They had both been well-trained not to touch her when she was in uniform, at least, not without an invitation.

Kris stood with her hands on her hips, regarding them with her head cocked to one side, as if debating whether or not to give them permission.

“Good morning, Captain,” Dani said boldly, pointedly.

Kris grinned and tossed her hat back into the car, opening her arms wide. With a squeal, the girls launched themselves at her. “Aunt Kris! Aunt Kris!” they screamed, as if she were a rock star, and she caught one in each arm and lifted them off their feet, their foreheads pressed against her neck, all three trying not to cry with happiness. Gently she swung them around once and put them back on their feet. “Hi, babies. Mmmmmm, I love you so much,” she murmured so only they could hear. Then they each had to hug her again. She could have stood there all day doing that, except she wanted to take them away and have them all to herself.

From the open doorway Cindy watched, her lips pressed together in a thin line of disapproval. She and Harry were not at all happy about this and had made a series of hard bargains with their daughters, which, to their amazement, the girls had kept without complaint. If Kris weren't taking them someplace remote, away from sinful temptation, and if Kris herself weren't headed off indefinitely on her ridiculous, ostentatious yacht, this excursion wouldn't be happening. But it was just one week, and then Danielle and Carol wouldn't see this heathen sister-in-law of hers again until they were both married to decent Christian men, if ever.

Harry was already backing the van down the driveway. The Beamer was really cool and he wanted his sister out of it and off his block before he had to take a ration of ribbing from his Oath-Taker neighbors. The latest estimates were that an Oath-Taker headed one in every four households nation-wide, with lower percentages on the coasts and large population centers, and higher ones in the conservative Heartland. He figured on this block the proportion was as high as one in three or even two.

He got out and started helping his daughters pack the van. Kris took an armload of gear from her trunk and stowed it before giving him a hug and the car keys. “Drive it in good health, big fella,” she smiled. “Your name's on the insurance papers in the glove compartment."

“I will, thanks! This is real nice, Kris. Good trip?” he asked, trying to be pleasant. After all, it was just for a few minutes.

“Odd trip, as a matter of fact. Both nights on the road I got up to find someone's car vandalized in the hotel lot. Just totally messed up and sprayed with nasty graffiti. Whatever the question is, violence isn't the answer,” she said, giving him an even, direct look, the kind he hated. They both knew it was Oaf activity, but neither would or could say so. If she said, “Wouldn't you hate that to happen to your daughters?” he would counter with, “Women shouldn't travel unescorted.” It was pointless to get started, so she let it drop.

“Before I forget,” she said, patting her pockets until she found a slip of paper. “Here. It's my cell-phone number, and we'll call you every night."

“Okay. Good.” He tucked it away. He was just as glad to drop the subject. To tell the truth, he would've been pissed if anyone messed up this car before he had a chance to play with it.

On the sidewalk behind them, Cindy, also attired in a shin-length, shapeless plaid frock, was earnestly giving them a whole string of last-minute instructions. The girls’ scarf-covered heads nodded up and down respectfully. God, they were good! Kris knew how they hated it and admired their discipline. She didn't mind one bit taking credit for it, either. It wasn't the fear of God that made them cooperative, it was the fear of Aunt Kris. She knew Cindy and Harry would shit a collective brick if they ever understood that the source of their daughters’ motivation was their need for the approval and validation of their feminist, liberal and eek! lesbian aunt. She struggled with the last one only in terms of when and how to tell them, not if. It was a fact of life and they had to learn to accept and welcome diversity to be ready to take their places as responsible adults in the greater society, not the restricted world in which they presently lived. Kris just couldn't believe the present state of affairs would last forever.

It took only a couple more minutes for Kris to empty the contents of her car into the van, which she did while Cindy reminded her of her sworn duty as their godmother to make sure they studied their Bibles daily. Kris had to bite the insides of her cheeks to keep from shrieking with laughter. It was ironic that she was now in this position, but years ago when the girls were born, in the early 1990s, there had been no Hearth and Home Movement, and Kris was Harry's only sibling. It was quite normal and even expected of them that they would invite her to sponsor their daughters, along with Cindy's sister. As young as she had been at the time, there had been no reason to believe she herself wouldn't marry, thus providing a godfather, and maybe even leave the Coast Guard, settling down to be just like everyone else.

For a long time Kris did almost nothing except send bonds to her nieces on Christmas and their birthdays, but then, after Janet died and little Janet was born, Kris had begun to take a serious interest in Danielle and Carol. By that time they were old enough, at four and six, to talk to and teach and play with. Their love for her was so natural, so genuine, she couldn't resist them. With their cries of “Ankwiss! Tell us a story! Ankwiss! We wanna boat ride! I love you, Ankwiss,” they had wormed their way into her heart and she welcomed them there.

Finally all was secure. Putting a hand on Dani's shoulder, Kris murmured, “Would you do me a favor and let Ky ride shotgun for a while?"

“Yes, ma'am,” Dani said quietly, and hugging her parents goodbye, she got in back and fastened her seatbelt. Whatever Aunt Kris wanted, Aunt Kris got. She didn't know why, but if it made her parents grind their teeth to see her unquestioning obedience to her aunt, it was worth it.

“Thanks, Dani!” Ky told her happily, jumping in front. Dani winked at her.

Kris climbed in shortly and asked Dani, “Is my hat ready for when we have to stop?"

“Right here, Aunt Kris,” she said, running her finger wistfully along the gold leaves decorating the brim. Please! she thought, let's just go! Get us out of here!

As Kris signaled and pulled away from the curb, all three of them heaved a sigh of relief, then burst out laughing. Then both girls started jabbering at once and Kris let them get it out of their systems. There would be plenty of time for the serious stuff later on.

As they approached the first blue rest area sign on the Interstate, Dani asked, “Aunt Kris, can we stop, please?"

“Anything wrong, babe?” Kris asked.

“No ... we just want to change,” Dani confessed. “Please? Mom and Dad made us wear these stupid things all summer as part of the deal.” As she spoke she removed her scarf and shook her hair out and Ky followed suit.

Kris began pulling over. “Deal?"

“Yeah, you know. The dresses, the extra Bible study, the home ec class in summer school, the sewing circle. We had to do a lot of stuff."

“It was awful,” added Ky helpfully.

“I see.” Kris was getting angry already but she kept it to herself. She hadn't known about any “deal.” They had never had to bargain for their vacations together before. “Let me go in first,” she said as she parked. “In case someone needs to ... guard the van, that should be me. I'll get a head start."

By the time Kris returned she saw the van and her nieces were getting the once-over from a couple of paunchy old men in red and white armbands.

“Are you carrying?” Dani whispered.

“Yes, but it's not going to come to that. They're old and almost certainly not going to interfere. All the same, I'll drive up to the other end. Meet me."

“Aye, Captain. Let's go!” Dani said to her sister.

They ran off with shorts under their arms and Kris waved to the stone-faced men as she drove away from them. At the far end of the rest area she parked and got out again and soon smiled to see her nieces running toward her, bare-headed and bare-legged, waving the plaid dresses over their heads and laughing uproariously.

“We're ready!” they yelled.

Kris had to laugh, too. She held up the keys to the van. “Got your learner's permit?” she asked Dani.

Dani nodded eagerly. “In my wallet. In my bag."

“Drive on, Lieutenant,” she ordered, flipping her the keys.

“Yes, ma'am,” Dani grinned, snagging them.

They were back on the road again before the Oaf Patrol could catch up. The old men were harmless, not allowed to do anything but preach and offer pamphlets, but the last thing Kris needed was an endless, pointless, pseudo-theological discussion on such a beautiful summer morning. She passed the map back to Ky. “Navigate, Ensign."

“Yes, ma'am, Aunt Kris,” Ky said, leaning forward to punctuate her response with a kiss before settling back contentedly with the map. It was another moment or two before she announced, “We need exit 51. Why're you wearing your uniform, anyhow?"

“Like last year, when we flew back to Boston, I find people bother me less. They may not like the looks of it, but they aren't allowed to interfere with me,” Kris explained, watching Dani's driving, the speedometer, the road.

“Aren't you supposed to be retired?” Ky persisted.

“I'm on terminal leave until October first, sweetie,” Kris said patiently.

“I wish you could've been an admiral,” Dani remarked.

Kris could tell she was still hurt. “Darling, I couldn't, but you do deserve an explanation. We can talk about that and a lot of other things once we get settled and underway. I promise to be up front with you."

Dani sighed and signaled, carefully pulling out to pass. “I know, Aunt Kris. You always are."

“You talk to us like adults,” Ky offered. “Nobody else ever does that anymore."

Kris bit her lip to keep from telling Dani to just drive straight back to Boston. “You're good kids, and you deserve the same respect you give me. Now, let's talk about something fun, like fishing. The heavy stuff can wait.” She leaned back and let them argue over crickets and night-crawlers, determined to save them from their parents no matter what.

* * * *

TotalNet News Ticker, August 3, 2006. Provo, Utah. Brigham Young University officials have announced that this will be the last year the University will accept women in post-graduate programs or four-year degree programs in any discipline. Women will be allowed to continue registering for two-year programs with the written permission of their nearest male relative.

CHAPTER 7

Nik sprawled on her bed, alone at last! “Jesus! I thought she'd never go home!” she muttered. As usual, after sex, they hadn't had a lot to discuss. Now Nik would have to find some tactful way to drop yet another would-be suitor.

Nik was sad, though. It was always the same. She always hoped for the best, practiced safe sex if they got that far, and then felt dreadfully let down. Sometimes the sex was great, sometimes not, but it wasn't all about sex, not to her, anyway. She needed more. She needed an intellectual equal, because she knew from hard experience that unless her partner could keep pace with her, they would soon tire of one another's company.

With a sigh she got up to take a shower. Tomorrow, she told herself, I'll go to church. At least I can see Koko and get my mind off my problems.

* * * *

When she greeted Koko after the late service the next day, Koko looked at her closely. “Stick around,” she told Nik. “I want to talk to you."

Nik wandered in the butterfly garden until Koko caught up, vestments billowing in the wind. “You want to get out of those?” Nik asked.

“No, no, I want to stay outside. It's beautiful. C'mere,” she said, turning Nik to look up at her face. “What's the matter? I know something's wrong. Out with it!” She pulled her down on a bench.

Nik shook her head sadly. “It's just ... I'm lonely, Koko. I had another date Friday night. It wasn't exactly a disaster, but I can tell when it's not going anywhere.” She sighed. “It never does."

Koko felt worse than ever about not being able to suggest she meet with Andy sooner, but still she said, “You know, I have a friend, a member here, in fact, although she hasn't come for a long time. She's going out of town soon, for at least a month, but she's into the community. She and her friends might be able to show you around some. She's a ferry engineer and she travels all over the Bay Area and knows everyone and all the hot spots."

Nik brightened. “An engineer! Maybe she knows ... other engineers!"

Koko smiled. “I'm sure she does. She's quite accomplished in her field and I'm sure she looks for people who interest her, as I know you would. She'll be having a long-term visitor when she gets back, a Coast Guard captain looking for a good retirement location. I understand she's quite interesting herself. She has a some big fancy boat Andy's always talking about. I know you like to travel so you should be able to find lots to discuss."

“Well, it's certainly a start. The pickings are pretty slim these days,” Nik said, although she wasn't exactly thrilled with military, or former military women. They had an edge she wasn't comfortable with. She supposed it came from having to scratch and claw all the time and she didn't blame them, but if they couldn't turn it off it made them a little hard to take. Still, she was willing to meet them, whenever that might happen.

“Why are the pickings so slim?” Koko asked. She could easily have gently ended the conversation but she sensed Nik needed someone to talk to and the end of September was a long way off.

Nik explained, “I think most lesbians are hiding at least until the November elections are over, and I can appreciate that. I told you how a lot of academic and scientific types are relocating abroad."

“And the ones here are keeping a low profile. I know,” Koko nodded. “You do need someone to help you meet other people. How have you been meeting people so far?"

Nik squirmed. “Um ... around."

“Not bars! Oh, Nik, be careful! The Oafs are watching those places and may follow you home, and getting involved with women you meet there may not be safe anyhow.” She thought for a minute. “Come on. I have an idea for a project for you. Something I haven't been able to get to and it's an interest of yours. Maybe you'll meet someone worthwhile.” She dragged Nik to her study, fending off children, Sunday School teachers, deacons and ushers with vague but well-intentioned promises to be right back or call soon.

A few minutes later Nik headed to her car with several folders and lists of various political and church groups who might be helpful to independent women seeking asylum from the NRN, the Oafs, the INC and all the other conservative groups who had declared open season on them. “Somehow or other,” Nik mumbled to herself. “I think I've been had."

She got in line to depart the parking lot. Because of the picketers, the police had to stop traffic and give the church members a chance to drive out onto the street at intervals. The “Women: Repent!” and “Women: Keep silent in the church!” posters were almost a part of the scenery now, except Nik never allowed herself for a minute to accept or forget what she and all women had lost, and what they were likely to lose if the erosion of their rights continued unabated. This time, she noted, some of the Oafs were not picketing but writing down license plate numbers, and she wondered what evil plan they were fomenting now. The Motor Vehicle Bureau wasn't supposed to give out personal information about car owners or drivers, but there were always leaks in the system.

As she drove home, wearing her baseball cap, as always, for camouflage, she went over the list of losses so far: the astronaut program, the SETI program, the deep NASA cutbacks that cost her the best of her job offers. The necessity to travel only in daylight to safe destinations, or the risk-taking if she chose not to. The gun she now carried, therefore, the need for a license, lessons and practice. The harassment from Oafs at church, the chasing tactics of angry Oaf drivers when they discovered her gender, the pleas of her parents to marry and/or move back to Denver. There were still times she could forget the political scene and personal danger: when she was teaching, once she got inside the church, when she was safe in her apartment. The rest of the time, the constant vigilance and stony-faced resolution she had to display to simply go about her daily tasks were playing havoc with her nerves, her sleep, her general well-being, such as it was. And she was lonely.

* * * *

After they finally got home and got Jordan and the boys fed and down for naps, Koko finally had time to talk to Thad. She told him everything she and Nik had been discussing over their last several meetings, and at the end she threw in what she knew about Kris and the dilemma she faced with her nieces.

“What about the teachers at school?” she asked. “There must be a lot of single ones."

Thad rubbed his jaw thoughtfully. He was a pleasant-looking man of average height and build, with dark-blond hair and a full mustache. Koko was always amazed that people could call him a “pansy” with a straight face. As gentle as he was, his masculinity was unmistakable in ways Koko really liked.

“Let's see. A lot of the ones who used to be single kind of got married all at once, for one thing. Quite a few of the others have moved in with their boyfriends, and some have moved back with their parents,” he said. “Now, I know there are lesbians, too, and I think they're just watching and waiting. We're still in a relatively liberal area, and they can't go into hiding; they need their jobs. You know, if you weren't a pastor, we'd attract a lot less attention and also be a lot less aware of what's going on."

She got up and refilled their coffee cups. “I gave Nik some info to start networking today. I really feel like employers and universities ought to start protecting their assets, you know, like the UCC offered me a missionary slot. Especially now. You know how the polls are going. Things don't look good for the fall elections."

“You know,” Thad said, pulling her into his lap, “Maybe you shouldn't trust me so much. I could be planning to take all your money and marry a second wife.” He referred to the Latter Day Saints’ and INC's relentless lobbying to allow polygamy for certain groups.

Koko had to laugh. “Simple economics says we can't afford to buy you another wife. If you did that, I'd lose my job for allowing it. You do like living in a house, don't you?"

“Gee, I don't know. The idea of a teen-aged wife has a lot of appeal,” he said, tickling her with his mustache.

“New wife, new kids, more diapers,” she countered playfully.

“Never mind. I'll make do with you, on second thought."

“That's really decent of you, lord and master. But seriously, we, by which I mean the church, have to find a way to help,” she said, thoughtful once again.

“Let me plant a concept in your brain, then,” he offered. “Canada. The Canadian Unified Churches. The border is still unguarded. Maybe they can do something to help women at least get out on their way somewhere else, if all else fails and they have to leave."

She looked at him. “You're right. In fact, maybe we need to go back and look at the Underground Railroad; the way the slaves got out."

He squeezed her bottom gently, which was usually a signal to press on. “You could tell Nik to add it to her ‘To do’ list."

She squeezed back. “I think I'll do that. Later,” she growled in his ear.

They slipped into their bedroom and closed the door.

* * * *

Nik attacked the problem with the same single-minded concentration she brought to every task. She would have preferred to tackle it as soon as she got home, but she prepared for her seminar first. Once that was done, she would have nothing more to distract her.

By five in the evening, she had done all she could. She had five neat piles: women's rights, lesbigay rights, human rights, churches, international. She had added the last group after Koko's brief call to give her the Canadian UCC's phone number and e-mail address.

Nik had then methodically worked her way through each stack, voice- or e-mailing each group and citing her credentials and Koko's, requesting any information they had on plans to protect or assist women's rights by escape, subterfuge, concealment, civil disobedience or any other means. She told them specifically she would not follow up by mail as it was both slow and risky. She would compile whatever she collected and share it with any legitimate individuals or groups who needed the information. Sensitive information should not be disseminated, even to her or Koko, she cautioned. A contact person, address or P. O. Box might be all some groups could divulge, and that would have to do. Finally she asked that those who had neither plans or intentions to consider generating some, and promised follow-up contact within two weeks.

She stood on her balcony sipping wine, considering the possibilities. She felt the task was daunting if not overwhelming. There simply wasn't room enough, or resources enough, to accommodate all independent women. If one added in married women who needed to regain their autonomy, it became a mind-boggling proposition.

Where will they all go? she asked herself. Where will I go?

* * * *

TotalNet News Ticker, August 4, 2006. Dallas, Texas. The last abortion clinic in Texas closed its doors today. The True Fundamental Church, Oath-Takers and New Republican Nation held a joint rally at the Civic Center this evening to celebrate.

CHAPTER 8

They stopped at one more rest area on the southbound Interstate before the Hidden Lake exit. Kris said that as troublesome as the Oaf patrols might be, they still were less bother than whatever they might encounter in the rural towns they had yet to drive through.

By a small stroke of luck, this area wasn't patrolled. The Oafs and INC couldn't cover all of them all the time, at least, not yet.

“Good!” said Kris. “Let's eat! What have we got?” They spread out the picnic lunch the girls had packed the night before and dug in. Dani and Ky just stared at Kris so intently while they ate that finally she had to ask, “What is it with you two?"

“We miss you, Aunt Kris. We miss you all the time,” Ky told her.

“I don't know how you and Daddy could possibly be siblings, but why couldn't you have been our mother?” Dani asked rhetorically.

“Need I point out that in that case you wouldn't even exist?” Kris asked dryly. “As you may have noticed, I have no children."

“You could adopt us,” Ky wheedled, even though she was well aware that it was futile.

Kris smiled and took Ky's hand in hers. “I know you know I can't do that, and why. But if it makes you feel any better, I feel like you belong to me anyway, right now and all the time.” She took a sip of her soda and went on, “I don't normally have much use for patriarchy, but at least in this case, it gave us all the same name. It makes me feel all the more connected to you."

Dani suddenly looked at her quite fiercely and said, “I will never change my name, either, Aunt Kris. Not because of Daddy, because of you, and if I didn't have your name, I would take it as soon as I could."

“You wouldn't change your name if you got married?” Ky asked, fascinated. “Not even to someone really nice?"

“Are you serious? Do you live in a cave?” Dani squawked. “There are no nice guys anymore. Erase your tapes!"

“Dani,” Kris warned.

“Look, I'm sorry, but no, I wouldn't have before all this stuff started happening to women. I'm proud to have this name. It's me. It's mine! They want to take everything away until they disappear us completely. I can't stand it!” She looked ready to burst into tears.

Kris reached over and took her hand and squeezed it, “All right, Dani. You're not talking to the enemy here. What haven't you been telling me? This isn't just about names, is it?"

Dani took a deep breath. “I guess you haven't heard of ‘The Power of Matrimony’ yet."

“Is that some new TFC or Oaf program, or just a concept?” Kris asked.

“All these girls at our church are getting engaged or married,” Ky informed her. “And they're still in high school."

Dani made quotation marks with her fingers, “'Guiding and Protecting Women Through the Power of Matrimony.’ It's more ‘Hearth and Home’ sh-” she caught herself, “stuff."

Kris gave them her best dead-pan. “Gag me,” she said.

It broke the tension and they dissolved into giggles, just like regular kids once again.

“Come on, you two. Clean up and quit worrying. That's an order. I have plenty of plans to take care of you and cover every contingency. We'll discuss them on the boat.” She stood up. “On the double, swabbies."

The girls scrambled to comply without hesitation. Just like they always do, Kris thought as she reloaded the van. What in the world is wrong with Harry and Cindy, anyway?

* * * *

TotalNet News Ticker, August 3, 2006. Mobile, Alabama. Local school boards have voted to eliminate funding for girls’ athletic programs in the public schools. The money will be diverted to nutrition, sewing and household arts programs, which are enjoying a resurgence across the Bible Belt.

* * * *

“She's taking my daughters away from me,” Cindy complained to Harry as they ate dinner in peace, for once. It wasn't that things were hectic when Danielle and Carol were there, but Danielle was quiet to avoid conversational topics she considered unpleasant and Carol stayed quiet to keep from getting either her parents or Danielle started on some argument. The tension was nerve-wracking.

“They don't talk to us anymore. They spend all their time doing homework or projects, or on their computers, or writing to Kris, or chatting with her on-line.” Cindy reminded her husband. “Doesn't any of that bother you?"

Harry shrugged. “Teenaged girls don't talk to their fathers a lot anyway.” He was really thinking about taking the Beamer to church the next day, and not much else.

“I want to limit their contact with her,” Cindy insisted.

“That's easy. She's going to be gone, far, far away, for a really long time,” he reminded her.

“So what? With computers and e-mail and her cell-phone it's just like she's in their rooms with them.” She lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper even though they were alone. “Personally, I think she's a lesbian. She's never been married or engaged or even had a boyfriend. Doesn't that concern you?"

“It's just that her job was her whole life. She didn't have time for men. Men have a right to expect their wives to pay attention to their needs. Being alone is the price she pays for being so selfish.” He put his knife and fork down. “Anyway, in case you never noticed, Kris has about as much sex-appeal as sand-paper. No other woman would want her either. I'll bet even lesbians expect their lovers to notice them. Kris is basically unaware of anyone but herself.” He leaned back and stretched. “I'll tell you what, though. She can take her yacht and go out of the country, but when the NRN takes control of the government next year, and women need their nearest male relative's permission for major financial transactions, she'll toe the line or I won't allow her to get at her funds to stay abroad. Then she'll leave the girls alone."

Cindy wouldn't drop it. “That's fine if and when all that happens, but in the meantime and in case it doesn't, she's plenty aware of the girls. So what if she can't have men? They dance attendance on her as if she were some movie star or something. I want her out of their lives and as soon as they get back would be a good time to start. She still has them thinking they're on track for some high-powered technical or military careers. That's ridiculous! They're only going to be more disappointed when society and the church have to redirect them. Why make it worse for them?” she demanded, leaning closer. “The longer they think the way she misleads them, the harder it will be for them to accept their proper roles."

Harry's eyes were glazing over. He felt like time and the church, along with the NRN-led government, would take care of everything soon enough. He stood up to go do some yard-work while it was still light. “Okay. Just leave it to me. I'll work on it."

Cindy lowered her eyes modestly. “Thank you, honey."

* * * *

Kris had anticipated a problem with the boat rental once they arrived. Having no alternative plan for their vacation, she hoped to overcome any resistance by sheer force of her personality or the threat of an inspection of all the agency's rental craft by the local Coast Guard Auxiliary, which, as she was still an active duty officer, she could make happen within a day.

To her surprise, however, the silver-haired gentleman who showed them to their boat was exactly that, even waiving the “required” orientation cruise. Kris might have felt ashamed of herself in the past, but preparing for controversy was part of any independent woman's life now. Always better to be safe than sorry. After looking at all the endorsements and attachments to Kris’ Marine Operator's License, he handed it back to her with a warm smile and said, “Captain, you could probably give me a lesson. Welcome aboard."

She heaved a mental sigh of relief and signaled the girls to start unloading. “Buy some bait, too,” she said, giving Ky some bills.

While the girls carried and stowed gear, he took Kris aside and went over a chart of the lake with her. “Just a word of caution. Some of the beaches seem to attract young Oaf gangs at night, especially on weekends. Let me mark them.” As he did so he added, “They don't drink but they pump each other up with preaching and shouting and then go looking for women to ‘educate.’ You may not want to stay beached at night at all. I would anchor well out from shore if I were you. You don't want to waste your time standing guard or ruin your nice vacation with some stupid run-in.” He finished and put his pen away.

“Thank you, sir. That's very kind of you. We'll certainly take your advice,” Kris promised with a smile. She rolled the chart and checked to see where the girls were. Footsteps overhead and excited shouts gave them away.

“Aunt Kris! There's a slide!” Ky yelled.

Kris grinned. “We'll try not to wear it out,” she told the agent.

“Oh, no, don't you worry. This boat usually carries up to eight people. You can spread out and be very comfortable here,” he smiled back as he handed her the keys. “Smooth sailing. We'll see you in a week."

She watched him head back up the dock to the office. “All hands on deck!” she bellowed. Immediately both sets of feet pounded down the ladder as her nieces raced breathlessly to the bridge.

She grabbed them both in a bear hug until they begged for mercy. “Did you stow my gear in the Captain's Quarters?” she demanded.

“Yes, Captain!” they chorused.

“Good. You read the safety instructions here while I change, than we'll shove off."

“Aye, Captain,” they said again, turning to read the posters attached to all the bridge bulkheads while she went back to the private stateroom.

“Hey,” said Dani, “This stupid thing doesn't go over twelve miles an hour."

“Who cares?” Ky retorted. “I wouldn't care if we just sat in the middle of the lake the whole week. Anyway, Aunt Kris will probably let me pilot if it's that slow."

“You go ahead. I'd rather drive the car. Now be quiet and read. You know she's gonna ask questions."

Dani was right. In fifteen minutes Kris was back, having changed into shorts and put everything else away. She was proud of her uniform but glad to be out of it for a while. She was glad of the queen bed, too. Unless she was way off the mark, she expected company. “Are you two ready to weigh anchor?” she asked, and indeed, she quizzed them on all the safety and navigation information that was posted.

“All right,” she said when she was satisfied. “Dani, you get ready to cast off. Ky, you're my lookout. Stations!"

The teens were adept sailors in their own rights and it was a matter of only a few minutes before they were underway with lines coiled neatly fore and aft.

“Where to?” Kris asked when Dani and Ky joined her at the helm.

“Well, at this speed,” Dani began, “we can't go all that far before dark, and we're supposed to anchor or beach by sunset."

“I know, I know!” Ky said. “Let's go to the very middle of the lake. We can swim and stay overnight. That way there won't be too many bugs and we can have privacy. I bet all the other houseboats will go to the beaches."

“Dani?” Kris asked.

“Fine with me.” She looked at the chart. “What're these X's?"

“Ah. Mr. Winters warned me not to beach there at night or on weekends. Gangs of Oafs meet, whip themselves into a frenzy and then go looking for trouble."

“They ruin everything!” Ky exploded.

“No, we won't let them. He told me to anchor out at night to stay out of their way, so your idea is a good one. We can make burgers on the grill, maybe catch some fish tomorrow. Want to?” Kris cajoled.

“Whatever you want, Aunt Kris,” Ky sighed, leaning her head on her aunt's shoulder. “I just want to be with you, just the three of us. No Oafs, no church, no boys, no parents.” As she spoke, Dani slipped her arm around Kris’ waist on the other side.

“I know, I know,” Kris squeezed Ky and gave Dani a peck on the cheek. Sure, she thought, I can protect you here and now. But what about when I have to leave you?

* * * *

Once they were safely anchored, Kris brought out the shadow boxes. “I wasn't going to bring mine,” she began, “but then it occurred to me I didn't know how long it would be until we can get together on Athena again. And these are yours.” The miniature shadow boxes she handed them were almost identical to hers, containing miniatures of all her medals and rank and unit insignia. In place of the folded flag in Kris’ were photos, one of all three of them taken aboard the Reno the day Kris assumed command and another aboard Athena on Narragansett Bay.

Dani and Ky took them and looked at them reverently. “This is what your crew gave you for your retirement, huh?” Dani asked.

“Do they open?” Ky asked.

“You have to unscrew the back. I wouldn't recommend it unless you have to fix it."

“Okay,” Ky said agreeably. Silently she counted the medals. “Aunt Kris, did you have more decorations than any other woman in the Coast Guard?"

“Oh, I don't know,” Kris answered vaguely.

Dani laughed. “Of course she did. You're just being modest, aren't you, Aunt Kris?"

“More than any other Captain?” Ky persisted.

“Uh...” Kris felt herself blushing.

Ky grinned at her. “You are so cool, Aunt Kris. I love this thing, whaddayou call it?"

“A shadow box,” Dani reminded her. “But there's just one thing, Aunt Kris. Can I ask you to keep this for me?"

Kris frowned. “Why, Dani?"

Dani looked uncomfortable, but she continued. “I'm not sure Mom and Dad will let us keep them. I don't know what will happen to them whenever we leave the house. I do know, because I listen when they think I'm not there..."

“You eavesdrop, you mean,” Kris gave her a sharp look.

“You would, too, if you were us,” Dani held her ground. “Anyway, I do know that they feel you have too much influence over us. I heard them say they were going to see a lawyer about the educational trusts in our names, for when women can't have their own money anymore. You know what happened with our Bibles. So what do you think will happen to these one day? I don't know, and I don't want to lose mine. If you keep it for me on Athena, then I have to come get it, don't I?” she asked meaningfully.

Kris nodded. Eavesdropping was certainly not the main issue. “I'll keep it for you, Dani,” she said. “Right beside mine."

Ky looked tearful. “Can't I keep it by my bed until we go home?” she asked.

Kris smiled and reached over to stroke her hair. “Of course. In fact, tomorrow, take it on deck and take a nice close-up picture of it. That way you'll have something to remind you, anyway.” She turned back to Dani. “Don't worry about the trusts, sweetheart. They're already offshore in foreign banks. All of my assets are safe. That's classified, though. All right?"

Dani nodded, “Yes, ma'am."

“Good."

She got up to make dinner while the girls went up to the sleeping loft to finish unpacking. What a world, she thought.

* * * *

TotalNet News Ticker, August 4, 2006. Pocatello, Idaho. Senator Obadiah Jones (NRN) of Idaho announced today that he is considering running for President in the year 2008. He has formed a committee to study the political landscape and public opinion to assess his chances.

CHAPTER 9

Andy went over her vacation checklist again. She knew it was stupid to be ready this early, but it made her feel better to think ahead two weeks to her departure nearer the end of August. Today she was especially motivated to turn her thoughts to the future, as she had just completed another frustrating call with her mother regarding some wealthy Argentinean they had discovered for her. Andy had no objections to wealth or Argentina, but marrying a man to please her family was out of the question.

“Let's see: Cat Woman, hold mail, key for Margo to water the plants, financial documents, paid bills, tickets, packing. Can't pack yet, tickets are on the way. Okay, new problem: how'm I gonna get on Athena?” Andy knew that no matter how she appeared it would of necessity be a surprise, since Kris would think Andy was waiting for her in Oakland. The trick was either to get aboard undetected or if that failed, to call Kris and keep her from departing without her.

Andy called up a map of Boston Harbor on her computer. If her hotel didn't provide a view of the Coast Guard station's tiny marina, she'd have to find another way. And she knew the installation had 24-hour security, so she couldn't just walk on dragging her bags, or grab a cab and drive in. It was definitely a puzzle to be worked out, and she didn't have that much time left. That was why she was leaving a whole week before Kris had said she was planning to depart. She had to have time to size up the situation, make a plan and get aboard.

Andy's imagination ran away with her every spare moment lately. She worked endlessly on possible approaches to Kris. Sympathy, accident, passion, and those were just for starters. She supposed there was also the off-chance Kris herself would initiate, out of loneliness, curiosity or friendship. How anyone, no matter how tough and strong and self-sufficient, could remain celibate and unattached for over twenty years was beyond Andy. She didn't count any of Kris’ boyfriends. Kris had rarely dated anyone more than twice. Andy understood. She had been there herself.

* * * *

Even though she was quite sure that she was a lesbian by the end of her second-class, or junior, year at the Academy, Andy continued dating men for the sake of appearance. She had a five-year obligation to the Coast Guard upon graduation and she didn't want to spend it in jail. She and her Academy girlfriend had a few brushes with almost getting caught, which was scary and to be avoided at all costs, but the experience had proved very educational. Though they had promised to try to stay together, life and the Coast Guard just didn't allow it and they had drifted apart to form new relationships with lovers who were more available. It was hardly ideal, but it happened.

Andy tried to always live off the Coast Guard installations where she was stationed so she would have more privacy. Aboard ship, she had none and imposed a celibate life-style upon herself no matter how attracted she felt to other women. Officers and enlisted crew simply didn't mix socially; it was forbidden by regulation, so her choices afloat were severely limited. She kept her girlfriends ashore for as long as she could, and tried to let them go gracefully when an easier woman to love came into their lives. She had developed a very tough exterior that way, but inside she was more vulnerable than anyone knew.

At what had turned out to be her final duty station in south Texas, Andy had fallen for Lorraine, who at least appeared to exhibit a lot of the same qualities Andy so admired in Kris. Lorraine was tall, self-assured, assertive, a model officer. She was in command of the station and while she had been afloat as much as any Coastie, she always preferred the land. She said shipboard life was too inconvenient and afforded little, if any, privacy. Because she requested shore duty whenever she could, she knew she was unlikely to be promoted to captain, but that didn't concern her. She had enough interests outside the Coast Guard for that not to matter. She told Andy she was a self-identified woman, who didn't need a uniform or a title to know who she was.

Like Kris, but for different reasons, Lorraine retired as soon as she had enough time on active duty to do so. That was when she offered Andy a permanent relationship and a good life outside the Guard. No more titles or uniforms, that was true, but no more fear or sneaking around, either. “As for adventures,” she told Andy, “we can make our own."

Andy was totally taken with the idea of living openly in San Francisco, gay capital of the Western Hemisphere. Besides that, Lorraine was taking over the family business so her livelihood and comforts were assured, not to mention she would have a loving partner forever. It didn't take much soul-searching for her to offer her resignation. She had lost too many loves. She couldn't have that happen again. Lorraine had to go to San Francisco, Andy might never be stationed there, long-distance relationships simply didn't last. It was a good deal from every perspective that she could see, so she accepted Lorraine's proposal and moved to northern California.

Andy hated to even think about Lorraine anymore, but she often did, both because she felt it was a failure on her part to have made the decision to be with her, and because she was determined never to let anything remotely like it happen again. Andy had taken the trouble to study alcoholism out of self-defense once she had left Lorraine behind, and she felt she knew the warning signs. Lorraine had successfully hidden her disease; Kris could be doing the same. Loneliness definitely drove people to drink. No one was perfect. Kris definitely did not tell her everything, so that meant there were still things to discover about her.

* * * *

TotalNet News Ticker, August 4, 2006. Los Angeles, California. The ACLU claimed today that their efforts to track and compile statistics about hate crimes are being thwarted as many police departments around the country have ceased to classify violent crimes in categories other than traditional ones such as rape, assault, battery and murder.

* * * *

She was jerked back to reality by the ringing of her phone.

“Hello?"

“Hey, Andy!” It was the voice of her oblivious beloved, Kris.

“Hey yourself! Are the girls there? Are you on the boat?” Andy asked.

“Yes and yes, and call me back on my sat-phone, okay? Got the number?"

“Yes, ma'am. Call you right back,” Andy promised, and they hung up. Andy didn't mind footing the charges. The sat-phone was expensive, she knew.

“So, how is it going?” Andy asked when Kris picked up. “Are the girls just thrilled to have you there? What's the boat like?"

“The boat's roomy and slow. It has a slide and they love it. I kind of like it myself. We fish every day. On the other hand, they're clingy and depressed. It's much worse than I thought. Cindy and Harry evidently had them performing like circus poodles for months to ‘earn’ this trip with me."

“Uh-oh,” Andy said. “So what's worse than you thought?"

Kris heaved a deep sigh. “Oh, they have them dressed like frumps, they had to bring along Bible lessons to do every day, they spent the whole summer cooking, cleaning and sewing to prepare them for Christian matrimony. They tell me a lot of girls still in high school are getting engaged and married already. They have to or their parents threaten to take them out of school at 16."

Andy whistled. “Are they threatening to marry off Dani and Ky, too?"

Kris told her, “Not specifically, not yet. From what they tell me, Harry seems to think Dani is too young and of course Ky definitely is by any standards. But once the November election results are in, who knows if they won't put them in training harems or something?” She got up to look out and make sure no one was drowning. “They're being very good, stoic and resigned. But tonight I think we're going to have to talk about their future. Cindy hates me, Harry doesn't trust me. Hell, that's why we're here. I would've had them with me on Athena going through the Canal. It would've been so much easier with them to crew."

“So why didn't you?” Andy asked.

“Because Harry and Cindy said that whatever we did, I had to come get them and bring them back. That would've meant sailing to Key West alone, flying up to get them, flying down with them and then repeating the whole operation a week later. I doubt I could have gotten them to the canal and through it in a week."

“What's with the week? It's summer. You could have had them for a month!” Andy exclaimed.

“No, only a week. They had too many church activities to do before and after.” Kris changed the phone to her other ear. “It's really about them being afraid I'd grab the girls and run. Believe me, I'd like to, but they really need to stay in school as long as possible."

“What about their future, then?” Andy asked.

“Well, I'll tell you. If I must, I will come and take them out of the country, but there are interim considerations, too, like privacy, finances and communication. We'll discuss those tonight, and I'll clue you in about it after I leave.” Kris’ voice caught and Andy felt a sharp pang of anguish for her. She almost said, “I'll be there to meet you in Boston,” but she was afraid Kris would try to stop her from taking so much time off just to help her suffer. Once she was there, though, she was pretty sure Kris wouldn't refuse to let her crew.

“I'm awfully sorry, Kris. Truly I am. Enjoy their company, take lots of pictures, and for God's sake, stay in their lives. Can I talk to them now?"

Kris sighed again. “You sure can. I'm getting weepy anyway. I'll call them."

* * * *

After hanging up from her chat with Dani and Ky, Andy had to cry too. She felt terrible for all three of them and wanted nothing more than to help them escape from the evil clutches of their church. She decided to call Koko.

“Oh, Andy, what in the world is the matter?” Koko asked. She could hear the anxiety in Andy's voice.

“It's Kris’ nieces. They're together on a houseboat in Ohio and the girls have been having the most awful time. Kris is beside herself trying to plan a future for them but you know their parents are very conservative, TFC, Oaf-types, right? They have them in a really iron grip. Did you know that girls their age are getting engaged and even married in high school?"

“I had heard something like that but I personally didn't know of anyone,” Koko told her.

“Well, it's true. The older girl, Danielle, will be sixteen soon and they're all afraid their parents will try to marry her off. What can I say to her, Koko? How can I help?” She sounded desperate.

“Calm down and hang on. Nik is working on that right now,” Koko tried to reassure her.

“Nik? What are you talking about?” Andy was confused.

Koko explained, “Oh, a couple months ago, Nik asked the very same question, wondering if the church or any other groups were doing anything to help women and girls caught in the crunch. I'm ashamed to say I never had a chance to work on it so when she asked me again, I asked her to take it on. She was preoccupied and at loose ends anyway so I hoped it would give her something positive to focus on."

“So what happened?” Andy prodded.

“Well, she's such a brain and so super-organized, she's turned herself into a sort of clearinghouse for information. She's getting stuff together from all over and pushing organizations who haven't given it a thought to start thinking. Then she gives the info to whoever needs it,” Koko told her.

“Has she got anything useful yet?"

“She found a lawyer to donate time to find out what, exactly, is legal and what is merely customary. Also, laws vary from state to state. Some places children have more rights than others. Other places children have more rights than grown women because no one thought to include them in the laws. Funny, huh?” Koko mused.

“Is she only doing California? Because Kris really needs to know about Ohio,” Andy said.

“I'll give you her phone and e-mail. You can tell her your exact concerns and I'm sure she'll find out whatever there is. You can pass it on to Kris."

“Okay, I'm ready to copy,” Andy said, grabbing a pad.

“Feel any better at all?” Koko asked when they were done.

“Yes, thanks. I feel like Kris isn't in this alone and at least she doesn't have to start from scratch. I'm glad I could help. You're the best, Koko,” Andy sighed. She still felt down, but not hopeless.

“Thanks, although you should thank Nik. I'm glad, too. Now, are you all set to go?” Koko wanted to know.

“I'm thinking of leaving next week. Kris is so upset I think I should be there for her."

“You go ahead and do that. But remember to be careful. Don't lose your head or your perspective,” Koko reminded her.

“Thanks. I'll be in touch."

As soon as she hung up she sat right back down and composed an e-mail to Nik. Within an hour, her phone rang again.

“Hello, this is Nicole Gervais. May I speak with Andrea Santiago?"

“Yes, Dr. Gervais. This is Andrea, but call me Andy."

Nik laughed. “Please call me Nik. I just wanted to ask you a few more questions."

By the time they got off the phone. Andy knew she would have some reliable, positive information for Kris.

* * * *

TotalNet News Ticker, August 5, 2006. Knoxville, Tennessee. The True Fundamental Church announced that it will open a network of “Matrimony Camps” next summer to prepare young women for proper Christian marriage. The Oath-Takers are planning to open complementary camps for young men.

CHAPTER 10

TotalNet News Ticker, August 5, 2006. Caracas, Venezuela. The federal government announced a study into the feasibility of offering dual citizenship to female US citizens who can prove Venezuelan ancestry and can provide documentation to show that their civil rights in the United States have been threatened, limited or entirely withdrawn.

* * * *

“Okay, you two,” Kris said after dinner. “Let's have a look at those Bible lessons."

Dani sighed. “I thought we were gonna play Scrabble."

“The sooner I review your work, the sooner we can play,” Kris reminded her. “C'mon, swabbies,” she said gently. “Let's get it over with."

Reluctantly they sat at the table and handed over their notebooks, staring dejectedly at one another. “I hate the Bible,” Ky grumbled.

Kris nodded as she read. “The parts you're reading aren't much fun, I have to agree. But one of you bring me a Bible. There's no reason not to get some pleasure out of it."

Dani went for hers. “It's King James. We're not allowed to use the New Revised anymore."

“It'll do. Let's see it,” Kris held out her hand. She paged through it for a few minutes, then she invited. “Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and relax."

“Why?” Dani asked, suspicious.

“Because I'm going to hypnotize you."

They giggled.

“Because I asked you to. Humor me for a minute. Eyes closed, deep breath, relax. Ready?” And she began to read the 98th Psalm.

“Oh, sing unto the Lord a new song, for the Lord hath done marvelous things...” Kris glanced up and smiled. Now she had them. “...Let the sea roar, and the fullness thereof..."

When she had read through the entire Psalm, she gently closed the Bible and asked them, “How was that?"

“You make it sound so different, Aunt Kris. It sounds as if we should be celebrating,” Dani said. “And you changed some of the words, too, didn't you?"

“It's about the ocean, and about nature and stuff,” Ky put in. “Not about judgement and evil and things to make us scared."

“I did change some of the pronouns to make God more accessible to us,” Kris replied. “Kind of like the New Revised sounds.” She pushed their notebooks back to them. “I'll read you a Psalm every night, after you finish your lessons, okay?"

They nodded at her. She felt the weight of being so trusted and loved and hoped she would never let them down. “Don't let anyone take the comfort or enjoyment of the Bible away from you. In fact, my little techies, I have an idea. Ky, will you bring my sat-phone and laptop?"

Ky jumped up and went to Kris’ stateroom for the equipment. “What're you gonna do?” she asked, laying the items on the table.

“What do you think? Go on-line, of course.” Kris connected the computer to the phone and soon logged in. She hit her bookmarks and a site called Electronic Lectionary appeared.

“I'll e-mail you this link,” Kris said. “But make a note of it. We can read the Bible together every day, no matter how far apart we are. It's a three-year cycle, and then you start over."

“Cool!” Ky said, reaching for her notebook. She copied the address. “And, Aunt Kris? Can we all do it at the same time? Like, if we do it at 8 P.M., will you read it then, too?"

Dani reached over and paged down until she found the month of August. Looking over her shoulder, Kris replied, “You bet, honey. I'll read it at 8 P.M. your time, every day, scout's honor. Now look, there are three readings for each day. Let's each take one and get in the habit for when we're apart, okay?"

The girls nodded eagerly and looked up the passages. This was something positive that they could do and even anticipate with pleasure. Kris was pleased, too. It would help to lull their parents into the complacency she needed to accomplish her mission later on.

* * * *

Sometime during the night, Kris woke to feel a warm body pressed against her back. She smiled.

“It's me, Aunt Kris,” came Ky's voice in a whisper. “Can I stay a while?"

“Yes, baby. Go back to sleep,” Kris murmured.

Kris stayed awake a while longer herself. She knew that cuddling with her post-pubescent nieces was a tricky, ticklish situation, but she felt that her way of dealing with their need for her affection was effective. Whenever they were present, she wore pajamas, unlike when she was alone and slept in a t-shirt or less. If they wanted to cuddle, she let them. As the adult in a position of power and authority, she had no right to initiate or impose. But if they offered, she could accept and reciprocate. If and when they didn't crawl into her bed anymore, it would be time to stop and she would say nothing.

Ky's deep breathing told Kris she was asleep. Kris turned over so that Ky's face was against her shoulder, and fell asleep again.

* * * *

The next night Dani snuck into her room. “Can I cuddle with you, Aunt Kris, or am I too old?” She sounded worried.

Kris lifted the covers. “As long as you want to, you're not too old. After all, I'm older than you are!"

“Thanks,” Dani sighed, settling in. “I can't at home anymore, you know."

“Want to tell me about it?” Kris invited.

“Well, you know. Because with Daddy, we really are too old. And with Mom, the church would have her worrying we're homosexual.” Suddenly Dani began to cry and Kris pulled her close.

“Sweetie, what is it? Talk to me,” she said soothingly.

“Oh, Aunt Kris, what if I'm a lesbian? I'm afraid I'm gay,” Dani gulped.

“Why do you think that?” What timing! Kris thought. She had hoped to delay this a bit!

“'Cause I don't like boys. It could just be that I don't know any nice ones, but I also really like girls, and women,” she sniffed. “Not all of them, just certain ones. Strong ones, smart ones, funny ones; nobody at church. The older girls in the computer club, some of my teachers.” In a small voice she concluded, “You."

Kris laughed softly. “Afraid you love me too much, huh?"

“Isn't it weird?” Dani challenged. “To love your aunt more than anyone else? More than your parents?"

“Nope,” Kris said simply.

“Just ‘nope?'” Dani pressed.

“I love you and Ky more than anyone else. I thought you knew. Is that weird?"

“No, because you don't have kids or a husband and your parents are dead,” Dani said logically.

“So, you just answered your own question. We tend to love those who love us most, or who understand us best. So that would mean we would have to love each other most, wouldn't it? We're a team, right?” Kris gave her a squeeze.

Dani sighed. “Okay, if you put it that way. I know Mom and Dad love us, but they don't seem to understand what we need anymore. It's like the church tells them what to do and they make us do it even if it's not good for us. They think ignoring what we need is some kind of love.” She snuggled up as close as she could. “So what if I'm gay? What should I do?"

“Oh, honey, there are so many aspects to sexuality. You don't have to decide or do anything just yet. Certainly please don't tell anyone else, including your sister. It would worry her."

“I won't."

Kris thought for a minute. “Next thing to do is to try to figure out if it's just the situation you're in, where men and boys don't respect women, or if it's inherent in you."

“How do we do that?” Dani wanted to know.

“Maybe we don't. Maybe you just wait and see when someone special comes along. You're too young for either sex right now, Dani. The church is right about that. When it happens, you'll know, and then you tell me, and I will help you handle it. Just relax and go to sleep. You're with me now. That means you're excused from worrying. Be a kid."

“Can I stay here?"

Kris leaned over and kissed her. “Of course you can."

* * * *

Kris hadn't stayed awake thinking about it, either. Her niece's presence comforted her and she slept soundly. But the next morning she woke early and went up on the roof with her coffee to think while the lake was still shrouded in mist.

If Dani were a lesbian, her life might easily be made all the more miserable. Being homosexual had never been easy. In the late 1990s, the world had been well on the way to enlightenment, and then in 2001 in the United States, the candle had been snuffed out. Many lesbians and gay men were hiding, passing or escaping. Paris and Amsterdam along with a variety of other locations were attracting refugees by the hundreds, but only those who could prove that they could afford to stay or support themselves were allowed to remain. Certainly any legal minors would have to be returned to their parents.

Of course that point was almost moot. Once any adult transported any child, straight or gay, away from her parents, it was kidnapping. At the same time, there was no way the girls could live and function in the United States until they were 21 under the present circumstances without severe consequences. Unacceptable consequences. Loss of autonomy and education, and forced marriage and pregnancy were simply intolerable.

Kris knew she had to do something, in fact, a lot of somethings. She needed a plan to get her girls out quickly, safely and permanently. But even before that, she had to ensure they could reach her instantly, at all times, no matter where she was. She had already arranged several ways of doing so which they would discuss that very evening, she now decided. Their means of communication had to be secure, not encrypted in the military sense, but safe from Harry and Cindy. They needed a way to communicate even if they were cut off and under surveillance. Finally, they needed access to cash. Kris thought she had all of these concerns under control. It might frighten the girls that they would suddenly need to become so vigilant and so responsible, but at the moment, Kris couldn't stay and they couldn't go. She had to prepare a place for them, and they needed to do two things: stay in school and play their assigned roles so well that their parents would never suspect.

She heard noises from the loft below. Ky must be awake. Soon Dani would be up, too. Kris had thought they would want to sleep in more, but the fresh air, exercise, freedom and relief they found in her presence made them sleep like rocks. She was at once pleased and concerned. It made her realize how emotionally dependent they were on her, and while she was glad to be the major influence in their lives, at the same time she was disturbed to realize the depth of the pain her absences must cause. Just another year, maybe two, and I'll get you out, she promised them silently. Trust me.

* * * *

Their day sped by. In the morning before weighing anchor they fished and ate breakfast. Then while Dani cleaned up and made beds, Ky and Kris selected a beach where they could barbecue their lunch. Finally, as the sun began to set, they moved well out from the shore where they would be undisturbed by insects, angry young men and curious neighbors.

That night after their Bible lessons were done, Kris read the First Psalm for them, adjusting the language so they wouldn't be distracted from the message.

When she was done, Dani asked, “You always have a point, don't you?"

Kris smiled. “What do you think it was?"

“That we're the righteous, and the ungodly are the people who tell us women are inherently evil,” Ky grinned. “And also you want us to keep reading the Bible for the good stuff."

Kris absolutely beamed at them. “You're right, and I'm glad to see you can both discover the truth. Science is important, but literature is powerful, too. Now, secure your gear and come right back. I have some very important business to go over with you tonight."

“No Scrabble?” Dani asked.

“Why not? After this, if you still want to play, we can stay up all night. I don't care. Now, scoot. I want this table cleared off and I want your full attention. Dismissed!"

Dani and Ky raced for the loft with their books and Kris went to her bedroom for a small case which she set on the table.

“Now hear this, swabbies,” she said when they were all seated again. “I know you're very concerned about what's going to become of you over the next couple of years with the NRN and the rest of the conservatives in power, and rightly so. You'd be foolish not to be afraid. Am I reading you?"

“Loud and clear, Aunt Kris,” Dani said. They both looked unhappy.

“But on the other hand, you both trust me.” It was a statement, not a question.

“With my life,” Dani promised.

“Yes, Aunt Kris. Me, too,” Ky said very deliberately, and nobody smiled.

“Good. Then let's accept that someday, probably within the next two years unless things improve drastically, you will have to leave home to protect yourselves. Your ability to make choices or continue your education could be threatened. In that case, I will come for you or you will come to me. Is that clear?"

“Yes, ma'am,” the girls said simultaneously.

“But how will we find you? Where will you be?” Dani had to ask.

Kris held up her hand. “One thing at a time. First I want us to make some promises. Here's what I promise. You will always be able to reach me, even if you don't know exactly where I am. Either I will come to get you or I will provide a means for you to come to me. I will find and prepare a safe place where we can be together while you finish growing up, and I will provide for your education so that you can support yourselves. I will not let anything bad happen to you. I promise."

“We know, Aunt Kris,” Ky told her. “I think we always knew."

Kris reached over and squeezed her hand. “I'm glad you feel sure of me, Ky. Here's what I need from you, and believe me, your promises will look a lot harder to keep than mine will appear, at least on the surface, but on the other hand, it won't be for very long. It will end, and you will both still be teenagers. All right? Either you will be able to stay home and lead a normal life, or you'll leave, but you won't lose your rights. I want you to be very clear on that point."

They nodded solemnly.

“Here's your first promise: You must not ever tell anyone anything we discuss here, unless I give you specific permission."

“We promise,” they both said.

“Second: you must do everything your parents tell you to do, unless,” and she paused for emphasis, “unless it forces you into sex, marriage or physical danger. Even if that looks likely, you must behave as if you mean to comply. Don't argue. That will be when I will come for you or find another way to bring you out. We'll go into more detail on that later. With me so far?” She looked from one to the other, her eyes penetrating.

“Yes, ma'am. We promise,” Dani said for both of them. Ky nodded.

Then Dani had a question. “What about a forced engagement? We told you we aren't real sure all these girls really wanted to get married."

“If you feel endangered by your fiance or the situation, that would be a very good time to tell me you might need to get out,” Kris told her.

“What of she's endangered and I'm not?” Ky wanted to know.

“You can't split up. You have to stay together,” Kris stressed. “Dani, you're responsible for Ky. Ky, I know this is hard, but you must do as Dani tells you, especially if you don't have time to ask me."

Ky's eyes were big and round, trying to imagine such a situation, but still she agreed. “I know. I understand."

Dani put her arm around her sister and kissed the side of her head. “I won't be mean. I promise."

Kris was enormously proud of both of them, but she had a lot to cover so she went on, opening the case. “Here's what you'll need to accomplish your mission.” She laid out two credit card cases, two miniature cell phones, a Personal Digital Assistant, and a small accordion folder.

Both girls’ eyes grew wide. They had used PDAs before but never owned one.

“First, you have to be able to communicate. I anticipate that your parents will limit or cut off our computer contact. That's what the PDA is for. Learn it this week and put it away, and I mean hide it well where no one will ever look for it. If either of your parents finds it, the jig's up.” She looked at them to make sure they were still focused and pressed on. She opened the folder and pulled out a CD and some index cards. “I've added you to my TotalNet account. Here's the software in case you have to reinstall it. If you need to use it, you enter as guests from wherever you are. I know you already have your own accounts, but let's not take chances. Here are your screen names and passwords."

“Cool! I'm LtNord. Are you EnsNord?” Dani asked Ky.

“Yup."

“Memorize your passwords and get rid of those cards. Use your current account and screen names as long as you can. If you have to reinstall, hide the icon or enter through your files, okay?"

They nodded again, absorbing it all as she spoke.

“Next order of business: your phone cards.” These came out of the folder, too. “You never know if or when you may need to call me. You need to memorize my cell and sat-phone numbers off the cards and get rid of them before you go home. Never, never call me from your house without using the calling card. Your parents may forbid you to call, and I don't even want them to know I have a sat-phone. Don't disobey them. Understand?"

“They probably will, and we won't,” Dani said. “'Cause now we don't have to."

Kris gave them each one of the credit card cases. “Put those in here. You'll see you each have a credit card."

Their jaws dropped.

Kris pressed on. “Obviously they are for emergency use only. They have just your initials on them in case women are ever prevented from using money. I expect you to be responsible about these. If you never have to use them, that's just fine. You each have a PIN. Something else to memorize and destroy. I assume you know how to use ATMs?"

“Yes, Aunt Kris,” Ky said, and Dani nodded, too.

“Good. Probably you should use only ATMs anyway. You don't want people to see you if you're supposed to be on the run or hiding."

“Hey, since no one knows we have them, they can't be used to trace us, can they?” Dani theorized.

“No, that's exactly the point. And if I can find a way to hide my own name as well, I will. Now, the phones haven't been activated yet. Once you activate them, there's a hundred dollars of time on each. If you need more, use the credit cards. Simple?"

“No problem,” Dani acknowledged. She was feeling more and more like an adult with each passing minute.

“Some more cautions about the phones. Never leave them in the house. They have to go where you go, and like the PDA, if they're found, we're sunk. Don't fool around with them. Keep the ringers off. For now, assume I won't call you. The order of battle for contacting me is e-mail, phone-card, and cell-phone to my cell-phone, and the same order to my sat-phone if I'm out of range. For now, use the least expensive means first. Later we may have to change those priorities, but that's it for now."

Ky jumped up and went to hug Kris. “I always knew you would take care of us! I knew it!” she said fiercely, and though Kris struggled, she couldn't hide the wave of emotion that swept over her. She held out her other hand to Dani and drew them both against her in a group hug.

When she could speak again, Kris said, “It's very important that you comply with everything your parents and the church demand, for two reasons. First, you have to fool them into trusting you, so they won't watch you so closely, and second, so you can collect information."

“Like spies?” Dani asked, intrigued.

“Exactly. You guys are undercover agents. Infiltrate and report everything you can find out. Eventually I may be able to use it to help you and others."

“We can do that,” Ky told her.

“Even if it seems obvious or useless, report it. You never know what may come in handy later,” Kris explained.

They went over their instructions again. The girls put the cards with all the numbers and codes up on the bathroom mirror so they would see them all week and memorize them.

And they still had plenty of time for Scrabble.

* * * *

TotalNet News Ticker, August 6, 2006. Washington, DC. Under pressure from Congress, the President today turned down an invitation to participate in more Middle East peace talks. Political analysts theorize that such participation could be viewed as an affront by our Arab allies in the region.

CHAPTER 11

“Isn't Aunt Kris awesome?” Ky said to Dani later as they got ready for bed.

“She's the best. She makes me feel real, like I still matter, like I'm worth something,” Dani agreed. “And she trusts us a lot. We can't let her down."

“I'll be the best spy ever,” Ky said fervently. “'Cause if I didn't have Aunt Kris, I just couldn't do school and church and be good about it. I can't stand it. They're driving me crazy. What would you do without Aunt Kris?"

“We'd be slaves, or drones or something.” Dani shook her head. “I don't know. Run away, I guess, maybe to Canada. Go to the Amnesty International people. I think if it got bad enough somebody would have to let us be refugees or something."

“Like Albanians?” Ky asked, coming to sit beside her.

“More like those women in Afghanistan. Remember the Taliban, how they took away the women's rights until other countries began to give them asylum? Did you have that in history yet?"

Ky shrugged. “Probably. Would we have to learn another language, do you think? Spanish is hard enough already,” she worried.

“Let's hope not. I'd be scared to death if not for Aunt Kris. Whenever it gets real bad, we can remind ourselves that we're just playing a part, and it's only for a little while, and when we call her, she'll come,” Dani finished.

“But a whole year,” Ky complained. “And now we only have four more days."

“That's true. But someday real soon, we'll be with her for a long time. Until we grow up,” Dani said confidently.

“Aren't you mad about maybe not going to the Academy?” Ky asked her.

“Yes, of course,” Dani said, making a face. “How could I not be? But if we just spend the next five years or so sailing around the world with Aunt Kris, I'll still learn a lot. I'm scared but I'm excited, too. Aren't you?"

Ky nodded. “Yes, and maybe, before we get too old, this will be over and we can still join the Coast Guard or the Navy or something like NOAA,” she said hopefully.

“Good, Ky. Hang onto that,” Dani said, giving her sister a hug. She crawled into her bunk. “Night, Ky."

“Night, Dani."

* * * *

TotalNet News Ticker, August 7, 2006. Columbus, Ohio. University officials met here today for a brainstorming session in an effort to convince the State Legislature to reallocate funds from discontinued science education programs to domestic studies. The deadline for their proposals is September 1.

* * * *

As soon as she was sure Ky was asleep, Dani slipped down to Kris’ room again, and into her bed.

“Somehow I thought you'd be back,” Kris teased gently.

“I'm sorry, Aunt Kris,” Dani began. “But I've been worrying all day about what if I'm a lesbian."

Kris said, “It's not the sort of thing there's a test for. Normally, you would just sort of monitor yourself and see which way you're leaning. But most independent girls where you live don't have access to decent young men right now."

“So I can't find out?"

“I don't know. Young women usually find out about themselves a little later than young men. Dani, I have to ask if you know about sex and masturbation. I don't mean to offend you..."

Dani interrupted, “Of course I know, Aunt Kris. I don't live in a cave."

Kris had to laugh. “Come on, sweetie. I don't know exactly how sheltered you've been. We've never had to discuss anything like this before. Have you talked to your mom about sex?"

“Not really. Only in terms of the holiness of the married estate, as if on my wedding day everything will suddenly be revealed. She doesn't have a clue what I know. A few years ago, before all the NRN stuff, we started sex ed in school and we still hear the older girls. I know enough."

“Humor me. Do you know what makes you pregnant and what doesn't? Do you know how to prevent it, and how to have safe sex?"

“Aunt Kris, I know about doing it myself, and condoms. But with girls you don't need to worry,” Dani pointed out.

“You do if you're going to exchange body fluids. Do I need to go there?"

“No, not yet,” Dani said in a small voice.

“Have you been with a girl?” Kris probed gently.

“No, but sometimes I think I want to. I won't, because of what they would do to us. That's the problem: do I want to because I like girls or because boys are mean?"

“Well, who do you think about when you're alone? Boys or girls? How do you see yourself in a few years? Have you kissed anyone of either sex? Do you want to?” Kris cautioned, “There's no scientific or certain way to find out. If you have answers to any of these questions, it may give you a clue, that's all, and it's not something you can act on."

Dani sighed. “I have kissed a boy. I have ... wanted to kiss girls. I think of myself ... cuddling with girls. I have these images of myself naked and cuddling with, you know, some of my friends, or my teachers. I mean the single ones, the ones I really like. I sort of imagine ... just some situation where we might share a bed. I really never went any further."

“Do you imagine cuddling with boys?” Kris wanted to know.

“I don't honestly like any boy I know! And it's so frustrating! I mean, maybe I could, but now I just get so mad at them all the time!” Dani said.

Kris heard her anguish, squeezed her a little more tightly. “I'm so sorry, Dani. There is no good answer now, especially in these times. Look, if you ever ... are alone, and you find yourself fantasizing, go with it, see where it leads. There's nothing wrong with meeting your own needs, and at your age, that's all you should be doing. It's possible that you may get a clue this way, but please, keep this from Ky for now, and I'll do my best to help you work through it. Okay?"

“Is that an order, Captain?” Dani giggled.

“It certainly is,” Kris said gently. “This is really no one's business but yours. Normally it would be your mom's but you can't go to her with this. If you develop any definitive feelings, we can always talk some more.” She leaned over and kissed Dani's cheek. “Good night."

“Thanks, Aunt Kris. Good night.” Dani slid out and crept back to bed. She had a lot to think about.

Kris was relieved to be alone again. Much as she loved her nieces, the lack of privacy made it difficult for her to meet her own needs. She got up and quietly locked her door and took out her little black bag. She found what she wanted; a rather large, leather, motorized dildo with an external protrusion for maximum stimulation. Lacking television newswomen, Kris allowed herself to do what she had denied herself almost all the time until recently. She fantasized about Andy.

Ever since Andy had left Lorraine, Kris had periodically imagined herself with Andy. But with no intention of leaving the Coast Guard before retirement, and Andy living far away in California, Kris knew she had no right to ask Andy to wait for her, or even any reason to believe she would want to. Andy had many girlfriends and lovers, Kris was sure, although this was not something they could discuss comfortably while Kris was on active duty. Kris was safer and happier not knowing all the details, besides which she was always afraid she would be unable to resist bringing up Janet, and who knew where that might lead?

She hoped all that was about to change. Even if Andy wasn't interested in her romantically, they could be more honest with one another and share more. While Kris dreaded leaving Dani and Ky, she looked forward more every day to seeing Andy. Her life had been solitary for longer than was really healthy mentally and emotionally. Kris needed a partner and Andy could help her find one, if nothing else. The Bay Area was the last enclave for gay men and lesbians. If Kris couldn't find someone there, she never would.

But for now, Kris would allow herself the fantasy of Andy; the deep, luminous brown eyes, the smooth jet-black hair, the ready laugh and intense energy she brought to every endeavor. Just for now, Kris told herself. Just for a little while.

* * * *

Dani spent the morning wandering around with a quizzical look on her face and Kris deduced she had something to share. After they did their chores, weighed anchor and pointed themselves at the farthest part of the lake, Kris let Ky take the wheel and pulled Dani aside so they could talk.

“Come to any conclusions?” Kris asked her niece.

“I'm pretty sure it's girls, Aunt Kris. I wish it were boys but to make anything happen for myself, well, you know, I had to think about girls."

“Even if you're right, there's not an awful lot you can do. You're too young to be active sexually, and even if you weren't, it isn't safe,” Kris cautioned, although she knew that Dani already knew that. Regular reinforcement of values paid, in her opinion. “You still have some growing up to do,” she concluded, although she accompanied her advice with a hug so she wouldn't sound too preachy.

“I know. I still need to talk to you about some things,” Dani agreed. “I mean, it's good to have an idea but there are some things I don't understand. Like that fluid thing you mentioned."

Kris nodded. “I'm glad you realize that. Let's agree that we will discuss that closer to the time you reach maturity. Promise me you won't get involved with anyone as long as you live at home! Not only is it risky, but it could be a test or a set-up."

“I know, I know,” Dani said. “I don't trust anybody, and neither does Ky."

“Then you won't even mention this to anyone else, right? Not even your best friend.” The idea of Dani's possible lesbian orientation being discovered terrified Kris. She thought the TFC perfectly capable of locking Dani up, or lobotomizing her, or both!

“You're my best friend, Aunt Kris,” Dani said sadly. “And Ky, of course. I can't hang out with the girls who used to be my friends. The TFC tells us we could go astray."

Kris sighed and rested her chin on Dani's head. “My poor baby,” she said. “You're having to grow up much too fast.” She pulled back and looked at Dani's still-innocent face, framed by long-reddish brown hair. “We'll talk some more about this later, okay? Try not to worry too much, because whether you're attracted to boys or girls, your parents and church don't want you involved with anyone until they choose someone, and in a way, that will keep you safe. As long as you say you're not ready, everyone will be happily in the dark about what you may really need or want."

Dani grinned at her, relieved. “Aye, Captain. You're the best, Aunt Kris."

* * * *

During the afternoon, they left the boat beached and went for a hike. They looked for birds, bugs, tracks, flowers, whatever was interesting. They came back to the beach and practiced their martial arts moves in the sand and shallow water. Kris felt the girls were rusty from lack of practice, but it came back to them quickly. Then they went for a long swim until it was time to move the boat out into deep water for the night.

They were all racing for the beach, heads down and limbs churning, and so they didn't see their welcoming committee. As they came ashore, gasping for breath, a group of six or seven young men stepped out from behind the Kentucky Belle. They wore casual slacks and shorts with white shirts open at the neck, no ties, and boating shoes or sandals, no socks. They were all clean-cut and clean-, all-American, or all-Aryan, boys. Several carried Bibles.

The hair stood up on the back of Kris’ neck. Attired in only her bathing suit, she was unarmed, her Walther secure in the safe aboard. She had had it while they were hiking, but not now. Immediately the girls looked at her for reassurance.

“Good evening, ladies,” the oldest of the young man said, voice deep and firm with confidence.

Kris wished she weren't winded from her swim, but she nodded. “Boys,” she said. She turned to her nieces. “Dani, get on the bridge. We'll back loose."

“Just a moment, please, Miss,” the leader began.

“She's a Captain,” Ky said belligerently. “You call her ‘Captain,’ not “Miss.'

“Ky,” Kris warned, secretly pleased.

“Captain of your little boat, is that right?” the blonde leader said condescendingly.

“Captain in the Coast Guard and of the cutter, Reno,” Ky informed him.

One of the others laughed, “I thought we were rid of all those, Gunter,” another young man, said. He was shorter, stockier and darker than Gunter and slapped his thigh with his Bible.

“Not yet, but soon,” Gunter advised him with a grin.

“Ready, Aunt Kris,” Dani called from the bridge. The engine was idling now and ready to back.

“Oh, please don't go, Captain,” Gunter said stepping closer. Kris stepped closer to him, too, causing him to step back.

“You'll have to excuse us. We need to be anchored by sundown,” Kris said tightly.

“No need to anchor,” he countered smoothly. “You can stay beached and share our evening prayers and a Bible lesson with us. We can see you're in need of spiritual guidance.” The others formed a half-circle around them, trying to squeeze between them to separate them from the Belle.

“Young man,” Kris informed him. “I am old enough to be your mother, and I don't take guidance from children. Step away from the boat.” She moved back to place her hands on the bow rail and Ky followed her lead.

“Let's join hands and pray,” Gunter said, holding out his hands to the others, which would trap Kris and Ky against the bow which was still firm in the sand.

“I don't think so,” Kris said, turning to yell up to Dani, “Back!"

On Kris’ command, Dani put the boat in reverse and slowly gave it gas.

The Oath-Takers laughed. “You're stuck. You need a man to captain your ship. You need Jesus in your lives,” the tallest one called out, and the others said, “Amen, brother!"

“What you don't know about buoyancy would fill a book,” Kris grunted and she and Ky put their backs into it as Dani backed the engine.

The men kept moving closer to the houseboat as the engine churned the lake behind them. The sun was dropping rapidly now and the bugs were coming out. Normally they would rock the boat loose with a couple of changes of gear, or a swing of the stern from side to side as two of them lifted up on the bow rail, but the young men were hampering their movement.

Without warning, the boat stopped moving and the young men stepped closer.

“Dani!” Kris shouted. They had to get off the beach before the young men, who outnumbered them two to one, got ugly.

Dani appeared suddenly on the bow above them. Firmly grasped in both of her hands was Kris’ automatic. “Get back!” she snarled at Gunter. Still, Dani did not point it directly at him, although she was clearly prepared to do so.

“Give me that gun!” Gunter ordered.

For an answer, Dani flicked the safety off. “Aunt Kris, please go to the wheelhouse and back us off before Gunter does something even more stupid."

Kris briefly debated with herself the wisdom of disarming her niece, then decided against it. “Gunter, you had better go. If my niece is in fear for her life, she can fire in self-defense, and she will,” Kris said quietly. “Do you want me to leave her here alone with you?"

Gunter hesitated.

Kris went on, “You're known around here and when you interfere and intimidate and touch, that's illegal. I'm a military officer, and my word will carry more weight than yours. Want to test the system?"

Gunter turned to look at his comrades.

Kris pushed Ky toward the boat and jumped over the rail with Ky scrambling aboard right behind her. Kris raced to the wheelhouse, and deliberately overloaded the engines. “Hang on!” she yelled, not wanting to pitch either of them over board, especially Dani with a loaded weapon!

“Gunter, you're a pig. Go away,” Dani ordered. “My aunt is rational, but I may be crazy. Don't mess with me."

“Come on, Gunter. The war is already won. They'll get theirs later,” said one of the other Oafs. “Come on, man."

With a horrendous whine of the engines, Kris popped the Belle clear of the mud at last. “Go! Go!” Dani yelled, and Kris opened the throttle. Dani and Ky stood on the rear deck, waving goodbye to the Oath-Takers and hugging each other. Soon they were out of each other's sight.

As soon as they were anchored in the center of the lake, Kris left Ky on guard duty and called Dani into her cabin. She put out her hand. Dani opened the action of the Walther and handed it to Kris butt-first.

Kris inspected it. “It isn't loaded?"

“I knew you would really be mad if it was. Here,” she gave Kris the full clip as well. “I had it just in case I really needed it."

“Sit down, Dani,” Kris invited, sitting and patting the bed beside her.

Dani sat. She was shaking, more scared now than she had been against the Oafs. She wanted to beg Kris not to be furious, but she was afraid to open her mouth.

“The issue of going into the safe and my personal things aside, Dani, why did you do that?” Kris asked gently.

“I was afraid they would kill us, Aunt Kris,” she said softly.

“You didn't see that they were only trying to upset us?"

Dani's head came up sharply. “No! I thought they would rape us and kill us! It's a deserted place, and no one else was around."

Kris nodded thoughtfully. “Your judgement has been impaired by your environment. Well, young lady, break this down, clean it, spread it out on an oilcloth and tell me the names of each and every part, and put it back together. No fishing for you tonight. Dismissed!” She handed the gun back to Dani, gave her a quick hug and went out to bait a hook.

* * * *

They didn't catch anything worth eating, so Kris surprised them with steaks for supper and allowed them each a small glass of wine.

“Wow! What's the occasion?” Ky asked.

“To a great team. To us,” Kris toasted, and they touched their glasses together and drank. “Even though Dani was somewhat precipitous, she did it in defense of all of us, and I appreciate that. And despite everything else, she did handle the weapon properly."

Dani blushed and quickly changed the subject. “We never have anything alcoholic at home anymore. We used to before we changed churches."

“I think Daddy still does when he goes bowling,” Ky said. “He always loved beer. I think a lot of the men can't quite give it up."

“It would be just like them, wouldn't it, to make us give up everything and then break the rules themselves?” Dani said.

“Don't forget we're here to enjoy ourselves. Belay that stuff and have fun. That's an order,” Kris tried to distract them. It was hard when almost everything reminded them of the unpleasant changes that had taken place in their lives.

“I don't think you can order people to have fun, Aunt Kris,” Ky told her.

“Watch me,” Kris challenged, and they all started laughing again.

“You know, Aunt Kris, even though you say everything will be all right, and I trust you, I don't know how I can stand not to see you for such a long time,” Ky said.

“Mom and Dad are gonna be real hard-nosed about anything that has to do with you,” Dani reminded her, although she didn't need reminding.

Kris tried not to let her exasperation show. She knew it wasn't their fault they were so dependent and terrified. They're only kids! she thought. “Sweeties, try not to think about it too hard. I gave you my word I will see you again before next August. I want you to concentrate on your schoolwork and anything else that makes you happy. Stay as busy as you can. It'll make the time go faster,” Kris encouraged them.

“Won't you miss us?” Ky asked shakily.

“Honey! Of course! But when you think about it, we were never together more than twice a year for more than a week or two at a time."

“But it's harder now, Aunt Kris,” Dani pointed out, “Because everyone wants us to give up our goals and do things we hate. We always thought we would follow you and see more of you when we got older. Now we don't know what's going to happen and our parents are the enemy."

Across the table Ky started to cry. “Nobody loves us but you,” she said plaintively.

Kris abandoned logic. “Come here, you two,” she commanded, and she held them until they calmed down. “Now listen. Sometime in the near future, we're all going to have an adventure together, the adventure of a lifetime, even though we don't know what it's going to be. Hold on to that. Don't forget it.” She had a sudden inspiration. “Be like an astronaut."

“An astronaut?” Ky sniffled. “There aren't any astronauts anymore."

“There are in other countries and someday the US will have them again, too. The point is, astronauts train to go into space, sometimes for years. Their mission parameters change frequently before they go and they never really know exactly what will happen when, or if, they get there. That's how it's going to be for us. This next year or so is critical for both of you. Every bit of knowledge you might acquire is precious. Treat your life like a training environment. In fact, if it will help you feel better, choose an aspect of technology or a sea skill you might need and learn all you can about it. Navigation, engineering, marine biology, whatever you want. If you start to feel down, do some research, crack a book, watch a video. Then you can write to me and we'll discuss it, just like your school projects, okay?"

“Aunt Kris, should I still apply to the Academy next spring? It'll be time,” Dani wanted to know.

Kris was taken by surprise, but she quickly recovered. “Tell you what. I'll notify the Commandant of your situation and see if he'll waive parental consent for that under the circumstances. Try first to get your parents’ permission, but if that doesn't work, we'll go the other route."

“You can just ask for permission for me to apply and test, not attend,” Dani suggested. “I mean, don't ask for too much at once."

Kris smiled. Dani was learning to plan strategically and that pleased her. “I'll do that, and I'll ask how they're handling other, similar cases, all right?” But she knew she would have to explain to Dani that now, a Coast Guard career would be very difficult for a young lesbian. Even under the best of circumstances, Dani would be doomed to twenty years of single life, and hiding her sexuality in a closet. Later, she told herself.

After dinner they roasted marshmallows over the barbecue on the rear deck. Watching them, Kris realized again how much she loved them. She would risk everything to protect them if she had to.

* * * *

TotalNet News Ticker, August 8, 2006. Washington, DC. Pentagon officials announced today that they will soon be forced abandon the gender quota system for applicants to the military academies and entry-level enlisted training. Despite their best efforts, recruiters are unable to attract enough qualified young women to fill the available positions. Congress is expected to approve the Defense Department's request for quota waivers.

* * * *

It was pitch black when Kris woke up to a peculiar noise. At first she thought it sounded like a small animal rooting for food but then she realized that, in the middle of the lake, that was very unlikely. Stealthily she slid out of bed and located her gun. She stepped to the closed door and listened again. There it was. It seemed to be coming from above. What concerned her most, of course, was intruders, especially after the incident at sundown. It was possible they had been targeted for a little midnight mischief.

Opening the door slowly she continued to listen for the sound. Yes, outside and overhead; the forward observation deck. One step at a time, she crept up the outside ladder. There was no moon, but her eyes had already adjusted to the available starlight.

Immediately she spotted her quarry. Huddled in a corner was a lone figure, down on the deck against the rail. Whoever it was wasn't being nearly careful enough about remaining undetected. As she watched the unmoving figure, realization gradually dawned on her. The figure was not moving because it was Dani, curled up in a ball and crying.

Kris carefully laid the gun down and crossed the open space quickly, bending to touch her niece's shoulder. “Dani,” she said softly.

Dani's head came up quickly and she gasped. “Oh! Oh, I'm sorry, Aunt Kris,” she sniffled.

“What are you doing up here?” Kris demanded quietly, pulling her niece into her arms. “You're shivering. Come inside."

She guided Dani back down the ladder, carefully carrying the automatic in her other hand. “Into my room,” she directed.

“Bed,” she said simply, turning on a night-light, and she tucked Dani in, remaining outside the blankets herself. “Now, what's this all about?"

“I can't do it. I can't be gay. If I try really, really hard, do you think I can change?” She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand, “I mean, just enough to not like women, maybe just enough so no one can tell? Can I?"

Kris groaned inwardly. “Those are several issues, Dani. If you are gay, and I'm not saying you are, then no, you can't not be gay. If you're bisexual, you can probably conceal your sexuality. Even if you're gay, you can conceal it, but you shouldn't marry to conceal it. If it ever comes to that, there are other things you can do.” She stopped and took a breath. “What brought all this on, anyway?"

“What happened today, plus I know, if they catch a kid being gay, the things they do. They send you away to a special clinic where they say they can cure you. I don't want to go. I don't want to be looked at like that."

“A TFC clinic?” Kris wanted to know.

“Uh-huh. We learned about it in Truth Talks after a boy was sent there. There are doctors and psychiatrists and counselors and ministers to help you learn God's way. That's what they call it, but I don't know what happens when you get home, except then they might force you to get engaged and married real quick. They would watch you all the time, and never let you be around other girls and so on."

Kris felt a little queasy. It reminded her of the history she'd read about how men dealt with their feminist wives during the suffrage movement. The women had been locked up until psychiatrists pronounced them “cured,” and if they weren't cured, they never got out. Sometimes they were kept on sedatives like laudanum for decades to keep them quiet.

“Look, Dani, if you have to pass, you'll pass."

“Pass?” Dani looked confused.

“Pass for straight, which you are basically doing right now. All you have to do is keep it up. You don't keep any gay literature around do you, no bookmarks on your computer?” Kris wrapped the comforter around herself.

“No, but sometimes I ... surf. I delete everything, though."

“Nothing on diskettes or CDs?"

“No, nothing."

“Know any lesbians?” Kris grilled her.

“I think so, but I don't know for sure. I never mentioned this to anyone but you.” Dani started to cry again. “I feel so alone."

Moment of truth. “You aren't alone, Dani,” Kris said gently. “You have me."

“I know you love me, Aunt Kris, but you can't know how it feels."

“I know exactly how it feels,” Kris whispered, smiling.

Dani stared at her for a long moment, then her eyes went wide. “Omigod!” she gasped, covering her mouth. “Not you!"

“Are you shocked?” Kris asked. “I hope you can accept me, because now you know how it's done, and you can do it, too."

Dani seemed to teeter mentally, as if on the brink of a precipice, and then she sagged into Kris’ arms. “Oh, thank God."

Kris held her and stroked her hair. “It's all right, Dani, it's going to be all right."

CHAPTER 12

Their last day together on the houseboat. Kris spent it drying all their tears as they packed and motored slowly back toward the rental dock. They would anchor out one more night and return the boat first thing in the morning.

Whenever Kris moved, Dani and Ky were hugging her and saying, “I love you, Aunt Kris,” or, “I'll miss you, Aunt Kris.” It broke her heart. They were still just kids, and they hardly had the experience they needed to help them get through another year or two of social and ideological torment without her. Kris found herself increasingly wrestling with the idea of just coming for them unannounced, yanking them out and running for the border. The hell with completing x number of grades. She could home-school them and send them to college in an English-speaking country abroad. Kris was fiercely angry with Cindy and Harry for squandering their daughters’ talents and futures. She thought Cindy provided most of the initiative behind the operation, in some sort of demented quest to dominate Harry through submission, but at the same time, she was angry at her brother for going along so blindly and not seeing the far-reaching consequences.

Kris sat down on her bed for a moment just to review her plans. Years ago, as soon as she had begun spending vacations with the girls, she had stopped sending them bonds and instead set up educational trust funds, which she had since moved out of the country. The accounts were in her control, and always had been. This, she knew, had irritated Harry and Cindy, but she always said it was so she could reinvest dividends immediately for higher returns. While that was true, she had heard enough horror stories about parents draining their kids’ trust funds for any number of reasons. Harry didn't earn a lot of money and Cindy had no income at all. Kris had always thought them provincial and financially unaware. Once upon a time she wished she had been able to involve and trust them more, but in retrospect it was just as well she had not.

She sighed and went out to the main room. “Come on, swabbies. Bible lessons."

They looked up at her dejectedly, but seeing she was holding firm, trudged up the ladder to the loft for their books. After a few moments of whispered conversation, they came back and sat down.

“Aunt Kris,” Dani began, “tomorrow night, will you please, please stay at our house? We know you don't want to, but ... please?” Her voice broke and tears flooded down her cheeks.

Kris looked from her to Ky, but Ky was already blubbering, too. “Oh ... all right. I guess it won't kill me. Your parents won't like it, you know."

“So?” Dani sniffed defiantly. “They don't like a lot of things."

Kris had to laugh. “I'm ranking you out of your bed, Lieutenant."

“That's okay, Aunt Kris. I was just about to offer."

“You can have my bed, Dani. I'll sleep on the floor in my sleeping bag,” Ky said quickly.

“And we'll arrive late afternoon, so it won't even be a whole day,” Dani reminded her earnestly.

Kris put up her hands. “Okay, okay. You win. Lessons now while I change my reservations, and then I'll read to you."

“Aye, Captain,” they chorused, temporarily happy again.

After completing her arrangements, Kris joined them at the table and took a Bible to find the Psalm she planned to read. When she had reviewed their work she told them, “This is Psalm 27. Verse one is my confirmation verse, but I'll read it all."

“The Lord is my light and my fortress: whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"

When Kris read the tenth verse, “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up,” both girls looked up at her sharply, and then at each other. They waited for Kris to finish, but the instant she closed the book, Ky burst out, “Do you think God is using you to take care of us, Aunt Kris?"

Kris smiled, “Oh, it could be that, or it could be the other way around."

“Huh?"

“Maybe by being aware of your needs, I save myself as well. If not for you, I might not be aware of what's going on around me until it's too late to do anything about it,” Kris explained.

“You think a lot of women aren't making plans?” Dani was intrigued.

“I know they're not, Dani,” Kris said, thinking of her friend Arlene Bagby. Not only did Arlene think it was safe for Kris to remain on active duty, she thought that, living in relative isolation on Nantucket, she herself was immune to the whims of the radical politicians. “I hope that all the women who are trusting their male relatives to be fair and decent will always be safe, but I'm afraid they won't be. And by the time these women realize the seriousness of the situation, it'll be too late for them to protect themselves."

“What will happen to them?” Ky wanted to know.

Kris shook her head. “Any number of things. Things similar to what's happening to you, but worse, because they won't be able to get out of it."

“So they'll just be like prisoners or slaves or something.” Dani said.

“I'm afraid so. They'll have no access to money or transportation. They'll have no education or jobs. Their communications may be restricted and they may not even have any control over their bodies.” She reached out for their hands. “But that is not going to happen to you, understand? It will be temporary. You know I will get you out if necessary, right?"

“Right, Aunt Kris."

“Yes, ma'am."

“Good. Now let's put your books away and call your mom and dad, and then we can do whatever you like."

* * * *

TotalNet News Ticker, August 10, 2006. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. A recent survey released by the American Council of Churches indicates that fewer than ten percent of all new candidates for ordination in Protestant seminaries are women, down 40 percent since the close of the last century.

* * * *

Cindy put the phone down and turned to Harry. “I don't want her here,” she said petulantly.

“Look; she's my sister. I can't refuse. It's only one night. Not even a whole day and she's leaving the next morning,” he tried to reason with her.

“I know, and of course we'll have to allow it, but I hate it,” Cindy said, wiping her hands repeatedly on her apron as she wandered around the room, straightening and moving various objects. “I just know she's a lesbian,” Cindy insisted.

Harry sighed. He knew that as the head of the household he was within his rights to command her to drop the subject, but he only ever used that as a last resort. The way the girls looked at him when he did it, as though he was a moron who had no other resources, was very daunting.

“Okay, honey, look. Even if she is a lesbian, what difference does that make to us here for just one night? She spends the night and leaves early the next day. We may never even see her again, because the way things are going there won't be any way an older single woman, lesbian or not, can live independently, and she won't tolerate that.” He stopped to take a breath. He seldom said more than a couple of sentences at once. “Remember, to keep her money available, she has to follow my rules regarding Danielle and Carol. Put up with it, let her go. The end."

“How do I know she hasn't spent the whole week trying to turn them into lesbians?” Cindy demanded. “We never should have let them go."

“I don't think even Kris would go as far as incest,” Harry tried to reassure her. “Yeah, she's a feminist and the girls admire her, but they're our daughters and they live with us. Even if they come home all cranked up about high-tech careers and women's rights, they'll come down to earth soon enough. With church and school and us to influence them, they won't have a lot of choice."

“I hope you're right,” Cindy grumbled.

* * * *

The next morning Kris packed them a lunch using up as many of the leftovers as she could. She decided to wear her uniform for the whole trip in order to be able to protect all of them if she had to.

Sitting at a picnic table around noon, Kris reminded Dani and Ky of their agreement. “Your parents will do something to reassert their authority the minute you walk in the door. Let them."

The girls chewed and nodded.

“Anything they tell you to do from now on, consider it a direct order from me. Cooperate, make friends with them, earn some distance and privacy.” Kris heard herself and shook her head. “I'm sorry. I guess I can't emphasize enough how important it is that you gain their trust."

Dani said, “Don't worry about it. Aunt Kris, do you have an actual plan for us right now that you're not telling us about?"

“Like she would tell us!” Ky scoffed.

Kris smiled. “Honestly, no. I have nothing specific in mind yet. If it was just about me, I'd be done planning already, just hop on Athena and sail around for years. If this were merely a legal problem and your parents shared our values, we could all work on your future together. But this is a very complex situation, legally, logistically and financially. There are a lot of details to be worked out, possibly including things I haven't even thought of yet."

“So how are you gonna find out all this stuff and figure out what to do?” Ky wanted to know.

“Well, I'm going to have some help. Andy is going to work with me on it."

“Is she gonna sail around the Caribbean with you?” Dani asked wistfully.

Kris looked at them. “Darlings, don't be hurt, but I think it would be best if you didn't know exactly where I am once you leave here."

Their faces fell. “How come?” Ky whined.

“If your parents want to know and you can't tell them, it'll be better than having to lie. And when they find out they can't get at or control my assets, they may want to. It will be a lot easier for me, and for all of us, in case they ever discover our connection."

“You mean if they suspect you're doing something illegal for women and want to turn you in, don't you?” Dani asked.

“Yes, I could be in the middle of trying to get you out. So you see why it's best, Ky?” Kris asked her.

Ky nodded. She didn't like it, but it was necessary.

“Anyway,” Kris went on, “we'll be in touch every day, same as always. I will give your parents some sort of vague proposed itinerary, but don't go by that. Play along, ask questions, like ‘How's Jamaica?’ but understand I may not be there. I may be lying."

“To protect you and us,” Dani stated.

“Ultimately, yes. I hope so.” Kris looked at her watch. “Come on, Lieutenant. You can drive to the next stop."

* * * *

The girls were washing the dishes in the kitchen while Kris, Cindy and Harry sat in the living room. The Nordstroms had a dishwasher but the girls were told to wash the dishes manually because Harry and Cindy wanted to speak with Kris privately.

Because Cindy was staring intently at him, Harry cleared his throat and shifted around awkwardly, plunging into his prepared speech. “Uh, Sis, I think, I mean, I know this is going to be uncomfortable, but there are some things we have to discuss."

“All right.” Kris was still in uniform. She hadn't planned to be but Cindy had offered her a shapeless rag to “relax in” unless she had a dress in her luggage. Of course, she did not, but under the circumstances, it would have been hard to change into shorts. However, with the uniform on, it was easier for her to project her natural authority. She waited for Harry to continue.

“Um ... well, it's like this. Next year, probably, all unmarried women will have to go through their nearest male relative for major financial transactions. Since you're going out of the country, you'd better give me all your account and ID numbers before you leave."

Kris smiled. She, too, had a prepared speech. “That's very thoughtful of you, but I really thought it would be too great an imposition to ask you to manage my finances, so I've moved all my assets overseas,” she said smoothly.

“Oh.” In a way, he felt relieved. No hassle and one less bone of contention.

“Is that legal?” Cindy said suspiciously.

“It is for now, and once it's done, unless I want it undone, it will stay that way,” Kris informed her.

Cindy glowered and charged on. “You'll have to give Harry control of the girls’ education trusts."

“No problem. I'll send you that info as soon as I get back to Boston,” Kris said. Yeah, right. That's going to happen, she thought. She'd tap-dance around it as long as she could.

“You don't have it here?” Cindy pressed.

“No, that sort of thing is in the safe on Athena."

“Can't you get it from your broker?” Cindy demanded, unattractive lines creasing her face.

“Not on Friday night,” Kris said gently.

“Cindy, she'll take care of it,” Harry broke in authoritatively. He turned back to Kris. “One other thing. Your contact with the girls takes up a lot of their time. They have more and more school and church work as they get older. We'd like you to limit yourself to two e-mails and one phone call a week."

“You're right,” Kris agreed. “They are growing up. Their priorities are changing. I'll be out of the country a lot and wireless is expensive. I think that's reasonable."

“You can always send postcards and letters if you get a chance,” he offered lamely.

“I'll be sure to do that,” Kris said sweetly. “I'll see a lot of interesting ports."

“We'll be monitoring all communications, by the way,” Cindy added smugly.

Censoring them is more like it, Kris thought, but she said, “Of course, Cindy. You have every right.” She looked at her brother. “Anything else?"

“Oh, well, I guess not, for now. I appreciate your understanding and cooperation, Sis. I know you feel real close to them,” Harry acknowledged, and immediately regretted it because Cindy started grinding her teeth.

“Thanks, Harry. But they are your daughters, and I know you both have to do what you think is best for them."

Cindy and Harry looked at each other. This was way too easy.

“There is one thing, though,” Kris began hesitantly. “I'd like your assurance that next summer, if I need your permission to travel here to visit Dani and Ky, you'll give it to me, along with any required documentation."

“You'll have to visit them here, in our house, and conform to the True Fundamental Church requirements for the conduct of women,” Cindy informed her, making it sound like a threat.

“I will happily do that if it means we can spend time together,” Kris agreed. She didn't really know if she would ever do all those things, but she wanted to be able to if she had to.

Harry was quick to consent. “Sure, Kris. You're welcome to stay here,” he promised, wanting to curb the acrimony between the two women. Kris was certainly being cooperative. Why ruin it?

Just then Ky and Dani came in from the kitchen. “Can we read our Bibles now, Aunt Kris?” Ky asked eagerly. “It's almost eight o'clock."

Harry looked at them uncomprehendingly. They usually had to be reminded several times.

“Well, of course! Do you want to show your mom and dad the web site?” Kris prodded.

“Yeah! Come on,” Dani told them. “We can use my computer."

They all trooped upstairs and Dani clicked on the link Kris had sent them. Ky handed out Bibles, and to Cindy and Harry's amazement, offered to read the passages aloud.

“Let's go back to the living room,” Kris laughed. “It's a little crowded in here."

When Kris and the girls had each read their verses, Dani asked, “Will you read us a Psalm now, Aunt Kris?"

“All right, let me find a good one,” she said, paging. “Now, close your eyes..."

“...take a deep breath and relax,” Ky finished for her. “Come on, Mom. You, too, Dad."

With a secret smile, Kris read Psalm 46, knowing her own interpretations of the heathen and God's refuge were 180 degrees away from Harry and Cindy's. When she was done she looked up and saw her brother and sister-in-law gaping at her.

“We're going to read from the lectionary at eight P M every night from now on,” Ky informed them, “the same time as Aunt Kris."

Cindy tried to produce a pleased expression, but she remained suspicious. Kris had shown little, if any, interest in the word of God until now. She had to be up to no good.

* * * *

TotalNet News Ticker, August 11, 2006. Raleigh, North Carolina. A new, church-sponsored bank will open for business here next week. The True Fundamental Savings and Loan will serve male depositors, borrowers and investors associated with the TFC, INC and NRN.

* * * *

During the night, when Kris came back from the bathroom, she found a visitor in her bed. Ky was either asleep or faking it, so Kris let her be. Dani's bed was her parents’ old double, so there was ample room.

Again toward morning, another body pushed in from the other side. Dani must have awakened to discover her sister missing. Kris drifted back to sleep.

The sun was up when they were all jolted awake by shouting and banging.

“Danielle! Carol! Where are you? Harry! The girls are gone!” Cindy shrieked.

Kris shook her head and briefly hugged her sleepy girls, then she raised her voice. “It's all right, Cindy. They're in here."

The door flew open. Cindy saw the three of them under the covers and started screaming again. “Get out! Get out of there right now! Heathen, evil pervert! Get out of my house!"

Kris sighed. “Go on,” she told her nieces, who were frozen in place by their mother's ranting. “I need to get ready to go."

Cindy all but dragged her daughters out of the room. “I want you out of here,” she hissed at Kris. “Harry! Help me get her out!"

Dani shook loose of her mother's grasp. “Stop it, Mom. You're acting crazy. We weren't doing anything wrong."

Kris calmly closed the door behind them. With shaking hands she washed, packed and dressed, stripping the bed before checking her uniform in the mirror. Then she took her bag and went downstairs.

The girls were out of sight, and Cindy was holding the front door open. “Get out of my house,” she ordered, clutching her long, nylon robe shut.

“Where's Harry?” Kris asked pleasantly, setting her bag down.

“Get out."

“Chill, Cindy. I'm not leaving until I talk to my brother.” She turned away from the open door and went into the kitchen for coffee. She heard the door close, then Harry's step on the stairs. Cindy and Harry spoke briefly and then Harry came into the kitchen alone.

“Cindy's pretty upset,” he began, jingling the change in his pocket.

“I know. The girls joined me during the night. Where are they?” She forced her hands not to shake while she sipped from her mug.

“Cindy told them to stay in their rooms till you leave. Look, I'm sorry, but you'd better go.” He seemed apologetic.

Kris said, “Harry, I am going. Don't punish them. They're the finest young women I know. Don't stifle them, love them! Be proud of them."

“I do the best I can, the way the Bible teaches,” he said stubbornly.

“I know.” She finished her coffee and hugged him. “May I say goodbye to them?"

“Better not,” he said sadly.

Tears filled her eyes. “Fine. I'm out of here, then."

“Kris,” Harry said, touching her shoulder awkwardly, “I know ... you love them. I'll tell them."

“Thanks."

Cindy was gone when Kris headed out to her car. She slung in her bag and was almost belted in when she heard a door slam.

“Aunt Kris! Aunt Kris!” Dani and Ky ran toward her.

Kris jumped out of the car and caught them in her arms. “It's all right, it's all right,” she soothed her sobbing nieces. “I'll see you again.” After a fierce hug, she told them, “I love you both very much. Now go on in, and be extra good to make up for this. That's an order."

They dried their tears as well as they could. “Aye, Captain,” Dani tried to smile.

“I love you, Aunt Kris,” was all Ky could think of to say. She hicupped and looked miserable.

Kris squeezed her again. “Me, too."

She got into her car and roared away without looking back.

She hadn't been able to save or protect Janet. But, somehow, she swore to herself, she would find a way to be strong enough save the others she loved—no matter what it took.

THE END

(Kris meets new love and faces fresh dangers as the oppression of women continues in The Amazons Book 2, “Bound the Restless Wave: A Tale of Female Bonding.")

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