Quandary

Part One

A cool, almost chilling breeze floated in through the open window, ruffling the crisp curtains.  Ryan O'Flaherty malevolently shifted her wakeful gaze toward the offending air. She knew she could easily get out of bed without waking her lover. In fact, if their University of California Class of 2000 had awarded a medal for the soundest sleeper, Jamie Dunlop Smith Evans would not have had a single serious competitor.

But Ryan didn't want to get up. She had long subscribed to the theory that she would fall back to sleep more easily if she stayed in sleeping position. She was well aware that her theory was, at best, a postulate.

She knew it was either very late, or very early, but she refused to look at the alarm clock, abiding by the dictates of yet another unproven theorem.  She had a big day ahead of her, and knew that her wakefulness was only serving to ensure that she wouldn't be at her best.  Since logic didn't work well in such times,  she tried another tack, one that she had learned from a therapist she had briefly consulted earlier in the year.  She didn't like to have to resort to it, but had to admit that it was usually effective.

Ryan sat up, punched a pillow so that it provided better support, put her hands behind her head and laced her fingers together, assuming a favorite contemplative pose.  She detested having her psyche trip her up, but she had learned the hard way that no matter how much she wished it could, logic did not always rule and there was little use in trying to fool herself.

Ryan's eyes fluttered closed for a moment or two as she forced herself to admit how something so simple was so difficult for her.

What wants to get out of my hard head?

Such a simple question, but one that she had great difficulty in facing.  She knew the list of possibilities was very short;  it always was.  But the brevity of the list didn't have much to do with the effects.

Her lips pursed, Ryan absently chewed the inside of her cheek, distracted by thoughts of everything but what she needed to focus on.  She felt more anxious as the moments ticked by without perceptible progress, so she gave in to her body's desire for activity.  Her feet hit the floor with a thump and she nosed about the room in the dark, looking for something to put on. Finding a discarded tank top and some tight shorts she wore under her softball uniform, she dressed and went downstairs.

A few minutes later found Ryan doing some quick jumping jacks and starting to get loose.  As her focus shifted from her brain to her body she started to feel more in tune, more in herself, a concept she had a difficult time explaining to herself, much less anyone else.  But it had always been true for her:  when her head wasn't cooperating, she had to approach it via the rest of her body.

After ripping off a few sets of crunches she started to hum, her mood improving as her muscles awoke and started sending out increased levels of oxygenated blood. By the time Ryan started to mindlessly perform push-ups, the thoughts bubbled to the surface.  She was going to take her last exam in just a few hours, and Jamie was set to graduate that evening.  She wasn't sure which event was more upsetting, finally deciding that they were about equal.

The prospect of not having school to define her was terrifying, and there was no use in denying it.  And having a formal ceremony telling both of them in no uncertain terms that they were no longer students made her stomach turn.  If she wasn't a student, what was she?  She couldn't be an adult, because she didn't have a job.  Adults worked. There was no way around that. Whether it was running a home, caring for children, volunteering for a special cause, or flipping burgers—adults worked.

She had no job, no intention of getting a job in the near future, and no fixed plans.  The thought of spending the next year lazing about was too upsetting to give it any real thought, so she stuck with the more immediate issue: leaving the place that she had always dreamed of, the place she had clearly been meant to find.  The road had been bumpy, but if it hadn't been she wouldn't have met the woman she knew Destiny had determined was the one for her.

She had everything she'd wanted. She had the woman, she had the education, she'd gotten more out of Cal in two years than she had any right to expect. And she didn't want to leave.  Not now.  Maybe not ever.  She loved the school like it was a person, and she didn't have to remind herself how poorly she dealt with losing people she cared about.

Ryan shook her head, dislodging the perspiration that had started to form across her brow. The push-ups were having their intended effect.  Now that her body was busy, her mind was completely open to her, but the feelings she was dredging up were universally unpleasant. And worse than the fact that they were unpleasant was the other truth—they were just...feelings. She couldn't control them;  she couldn't change them;  she couldn't fix them. All she could do at the moment was try to tire herself out.  That almost always helped.

She put her feet on the seat cushion of a chair and did some more push-ups, finding the burn in her shoulders and belly deliciously satisfying. If only she could work her way out of her feelings.  If only there were a mental exercise that would let her cleanse her head the way exercise cleansed her body.

Ryan wasn't keeping track of how many push-ups she was doing, but she knew it had to have been a lot.  She grunted out two more, just to show her muscles that they always had more in reserve than they thought they did. She collapsed onto the floor, letting the thin, wool fibers of the Oriental rug serve as a towel.

"What demon are you exorcising?" Mia asked, her tone conversational.

If Ryan's muscles hadn't been so fatigued, she would have started. "How long have you been watching?" she asked wearily, knowing it would be a waste of time to ask her roommate to announce her presence.

"Not very long."  She got up from the stair tread on which she'd been sitting and walked past Ryan on her way to the kitchen, returning a moment later with a glass of water.  Extending it towards her friend, she asked, "Want some?"

Ryan waved her off, then rolled onto her side and stretched.

Mia sat in the chair that Ryan had been using as a foot rest and watched her.  After a few moments, she asked what seemed a like a sincere, though totally incongruous question. "Why do you think we never had sex?"

Ryan spent quite a few seconds missing her simpler years of living with only men, men who rarely asked questions deeper than, "What's for dinner?", then she got to her hands and knees and eventually stood. "I'm not sure," she said, looking into Mia's gaze, the one that sometimes seemed so genuinely, innocently curious. "Maybe because I was desperately fixated on your roommate?" Ryan headed for the stairs, hoping to forestall further questioning.

"You had sex with other women,  lots of them, and Jamie was engaged.  I'm talking about fall semester, junior year, like right after we started working out together."

"Mmm, I don't know. I think you had a boyfriend, didn't you?"  She tried to make sure Mia caught the teasing tone in her voice,  but if there was one thing she had learned, it was that Hillsborough girls were very tenacious, so she had little hope that the discussion was over.

Mia got up and followed her up the stairs. "You had sex with other people who had boyfriends, even fiancés, as a matter of fact."

Annoyed, Ryan said, "I didn't have sex with Jamie while she was engaged."

"I wasn't talking about Jamie."

They were on the landing and Ryan's hand itched to turn the knob to her bedroom door. "I know people you slept with. You didn't seem to care whether they had boyfriends. And one girl who was in a class with me was engaged to a football player." She looked very satisfied with herself for having an answer for each of Ryan's protestations.

"I don't know why we didn't hook up, but I think it would have been memorable if we had." She showed the smile that had convinced many women to join her in bed and had just as slickly assured many others that Ryan's refusal to merge with them would be a regret they would carry to the grave.

Mia's indefatigable queries often annoyed her, but this one was particularly vexing. There was no benefit, no benefit at all to examining questions like this, but Ryan knew Mia well enough to know that she would not be easily brushed aside. The way Mia posed questions had always seemed invasive; her methods were nearly surgical. Ryan often felt as though Mia knew the answer to the questions she posed, and that she enjoyed watching Ryan's squirm to reply. That made Ryan all the more determined to not reveal her discomfort.

But Mia was just as good, if not better, at this game as Ryan was. ""There’s something you’re not telling me." She reached up and patted Ryan's flushed, damp cheek. "Never mind. I'll get it out of you eventually. G'night studly."

Mumbling a good night, Ryan went into her room and closed the door.  She shucked her clothes and dried herself off with them, then went over by the window and let the cool air help turn down her internal thermostat. Mia's question kept intruding, ruining the tranquil high that her exercising had begun to build.

The breeze fluttered Ryan's hair, and she turned to see Jamie burrow further into the covers. Her lover had migrated across the bed, probably seeking out Ryan's warmth.  Smiling at how adorable she looked, Ryan slipped into bed on Jamie's preferred side.  She spooned up against her back, wrapped her arm around Jamie's waist and slid her thigh between her lover's. Ryan smiled when Jamie let out a heavy sigh and backed into her. She knew she hadn't solved anything with her frenzied exercise, but she felt significantly better.  The heat flowed from her and in just a minute or so Jamie's chilled skin was warm where it touched hers. She nuzzled her face into Jamie's sweet smelling hair, and in just another minute both were soundly and contentedly asleep.

The alarm began to chirp at 7:30, and Jamie reached out to slap it into silence. But her flailing arm didn't catch the clock or even the bedside table. Instead, it bounced off a warm body that was, unexpectedly, behind her. As always, it took her brain a few seconds to catch up with the physical sensations her body was experiencing. "Why are you behind me?" she asked, clearly perplexed.

Ryan snuggled closer and draped an arm over her waist. "You encroached on my territory, so I made a land grab."

Turning her head, Jamie got a look at Ryan's face. "You look like you've been up for a while. Have trouble sleeping?"

"Yeah." Ryan yawned lustily. "I was up for a while around two. Then I woke up again about an hour ago. I've been conjugating verbs."

Shifting her weight while disentangling herself from the sheet, Jamie managed to turn and face her partner. "Sweetheart," she said, running her hand up and down Ryan's chest, "you know that doesn't help. You've been studying like a madwoman for this test. It's all in there." She tapped Ryan's temple with a finger. "You need to relax and clear your mind, not stuff more into it."

"I tried that. When I couldn't sleep I went downstairs and did push-ups until I burned off some energy."

"Did that help?"

"Yeah. I guess so." She threw off the sheet and started to get up, but Jamie grasped her arm, rendering her off-balance.

"Don't get up yet."

"My exam's in a little over an hour. That's just enough time to get breakfast and run to school. If I don't make myself do something physical, I'll just keep trying to cram more into my short-term memory."

Giving her a seductive smile, Jamie took Ryan's hand and threaded their fingers together. She scooted closer so their nipples touched when she inhaled. "I can keep you busy for a while." Ryan's fleeting look of annoyance brought Jamie's seduction to a grinding halt. "Go study," she snapped, rolling over and letting her feet hit the floor with a thump. "But don't ever tell me I never make the first move."

"What did I do?"

The high pitch that Ryan's voice often took on when she knew she was in trouble made Jamie's ire rise. Her eyes flashed with anger and her color rose. "Nothing. But this is why I don't like to approach you for sex. You know it's hard for me to do, and you'd go out of your way to be receptive if you really wanted to encourage me."

Ryan could almost see the ammunition being loaded into the chambers of her partner's mind. "I didn't do anything! Why are you upset?" She patted the bed in the most inviting way she could muster. "Come back to bed, baby."

"No. No way. I think I'm onto something here." Jamie's eyes narrowed and she stared at Ryan with an intensity that was never a sign of good things to come. "You say you want me to make the first move, but I think that's a lie. I think you need to be in control, complete control. If you want to have sex, we do. If you don't, we don't."

"That's not true and you know it. You're being silly."

"No, I'm not. Why else would you look annoyed when I tried to start something? When you look annoyed, you're annoyed. You're remarkably transparent."

Ryan looked as though she'd tasted something sour. "I do not...I am not. I'm not!"

"You were definitely annoyed. Admit it." Jamie climbed onto the bed, her knees splaying apart as she sat on her haunches. "Admit it."

Ryan assumed the same pose and they faced off for a few tense seconds. "I'm not annoyed." Her expression morphed into a slow, sexy smile. "I'm turned on." She reached out and put her hands on Jamie's hips and pulled her close, but Jamie turned away, keeping her mouth well out of Ryan's reach.

"Too late; I'm not. Go to school."

Ryan wasn't so easily dissuaded. "Yes, you are," she said, her pitch dropping lower with each word. "You're ready to go." Her fingers flicked Jamie's nipples. "Look at these ripe berries… and that beautiful flush across your chest. Don't lie to me, Jamie Evans. I know when you're turned on. I'm gonna put you on your back and bury my face between your legs, then we'll see who's turned on."

As Ryan expected, her partner didn't utter a word in protest, but she kept her head turned, refusing to make eye contact. They grappled with each other for a moment, with Ryan being very careful to avoid bumping the splint on Jamie's left arm. In seconds, Jamie was on her back, looking up at Ryan with a blend of anger and arousal. "I'm not turned on," she insisted, but Ryan could see a hint of a smile behind her glare.

"You will be." Ryan slid down Jamie's body, grasped her legs and slung them over her shoulders. In a flash, she opened Jamie with her thumbs and pressed her mouth into her, smiling when she heard the heavy sigh. Taunting, she pressed a kiss against Jamie, barely touching her warm, tender skin with her lips.

Jamie grasped handfuls of Ryan's hair and pulled just a little harder than she needed to. When Ryan gasped in pain, she eased off but still maintained her controlling grip. "Get busy," she growled, sliding her hips forward to rub herself into Ryan's receptive mouth.

"Mmm," Ryan purred, leisurely swiping her tongue along Jamie's simmering sex. Slowly lifting her head, Ryan smiled at seeing Jamie's eyes shut tightly, her jaw clenched. Ryan playfully circled the opening with a finger, watching Jamie's flesh constrict at the sensation. "I can't imagine how wet you're gonna be once you finally get turned on."

Jamie opened her eyes and met Ryan's amused gaze. "Don't mess with me, O'Flaherty. I know all of your weak spots."

A cocky smile settled onto Ryan's face as she slid two fingers into her lover, hard and fast, making Jamie gasp. "And I know yours," she murmured, bending to possessively suck Jamie's sensitive flesh into her mouth.

Five minutes later, Jamie chased Ryan into the bathroom, slapping at any bare flesh she could find. "Stand still for two minutes, you little rat. That's all it'll take."

"I don't have time," Ryan protested, giggling under the assault. "I'll be late for my test."

Jamie lunged, just missing cornering her dodging mate. "It's not even eight. You've got plenty of time. I'll drive you to your exam."

"As soon as my exam's over, we can go back to bed." Ryan dashed into the bathroom and tried to close the door, but Jamie wedged her body in so she couldn't.

"Now," Jamie insisted, sliding into the room when Ryan relented. "I need a little taste. Come on, baby. You know how addictive you are."

"I've gotta jump in the shower. Come on, now. I promise I'll play with you later."

"Oh, all right, fine." Jamie held her arm out and Ryan dutifully removed her splint. "Will you start the shower?"

"Sure." Ryan got into the shower and started to adjust the temperature, which was often balky in the dated pipes. As soon as she backed away from the taps, Jamie got in and put her arms around her waist.

"Hi."

"Hi there. Wanna wash my back?" She handed Jamie the soap and turned to face the wall.

Jamie lathered her hands and started to wash Ryan's back, incorporating a soothing massage, which soon had Ryan purring with pleasure. "Feel good?"

"Very. But don't use that left hand too much."

"It's fine. I'm gonna go see the doctor this week. I think it's pretty much healed."

"You can't be too careful, honey. Fractures are nothing to fool around with."

"You should know. I'm sure you've fooled around with more than one of them." She expanded the boundaries of her massage, moving down to include Ryan's ass.

"Feels good," Ryan murmured. "My butt's been a little sore. I was doing some sliding drills and must've gotten carried away."

"Can you imagine that?" Jamie lathered her hands again and started to probe the sore muscles. "The thought of you getting carried away is so un—"

"Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Make fun."

"Who, me? I'm just doing my job here." Jamie slid her hands from Ryan's ass to wash her flanks, then her belly. "Trying to get my dirty girl clean."

"You're doing great." Ryan leaned against the wall, resting her cheek against the warm tile.

Leaning against Ryan's body, Jamie let one hand delicately caress a breast while the other slipped down to burrow between Ryan's lips. "Hmm, I don't have much soap on my fingers," Jamie mused. "I wonder why you feel so slippery."

"That's good," Ryan purred, pushing down on Jamie's fingers. "That's very good. Keep doing that."

"Doing what? I'm just helping you get clean. I don't want you to be late."

Ryan turned her head and gave her partner an indulgent smile. "I can spare a minute or two. I'll let you know when I'm…clean." She covered Jamie's hand and urged it to give her breast a good squeeze. "It won't take long."

"You know best, sweetheart," Jamie said, giggling. She kissed along Ryan's back, nibbling on the clean, wet skin. "You're the boss."

"That'd be nice. Let me know when that happens, okay?"

"You'll be the first. Now stop twitching so I can get this little spot clean." She rested her head against Ryan's back, listening to the steadily rising thrum of her heartbeat, loving the sound in ways she couldn't begin to express.

Since Ryan hadn't had time to make coffee, Jamie double-parked in front of their favorite espresso shop. "Get me a double tall, okay?"

"Sure. Any food?"

"No. I'll have cereal when I get home."

Ryan jogged across the street and got into the line that thankfully wasn't too long. She was gone less than five minutes, and when she returned, Jamie said, "I'm sorry I was so prickly this morning."

Ryan grinned. "Is that a play on words?"

Jamie took a sip of her coffee and breathed a sigh of pleasure. "Delicious." She put the cup into the cup holder and put Ryan's car into gear. "No pun intended, I'm just apologizing for being short-tempered. I always thought I'd be happy to graduate, but I have very mixed feelings about it. It's got me feeling irritable."

Ryan gazed at her profile and quietly marveled at how effortlessly Jamie was able to face her feelings. It was a huge change from how she'd been when they first met, and Ryan knew that it was only hard work that had enabled the change. "Wow, you're good. I had to do a few dozen push-ups in the middle of the night to come to that same conclusion." Turning briefly to look at her, Jamie said, "Really? Why didn't you wake me up?"

"I don't even like to admit to myself that things are bothering me; it takes a lot for me to admit it to you."

Sharing an understanding glance, Jamie nodded. "I wish that weren't true, but I know that's how you are. Do you think that's why this test has been worrying you so much?"

Ryan shrugged, what she always did when she didn't want to talk about something.

"You do acknowledge that you've probably studied more than everyone else in your class put together, right?"

"That doesn't influence me. I don't care what anyone else does. I try to do my best, not just beat the curve."

"But you've told me you're not really interested in French. You've rebuffed every one of my many offers to help you learn the language, so you're not really doing your best this time." Jamie's tone was soft and soothing, and it was clear she wasn't judging her partner. Still, she held her breath, hoping that Ryan didn't take umbrage.

Ryan's eyes narrowed and she appeared to consider the argument for a minute or two. "I've never had a class like this before," she admitted. "I'm not interested in French at all. You know I only took it because I thought I needed to, and once I found out that wasn't true... I'm just playing out the string."

They were near the intersection closest to Ryan's classroom, and from the corner of her eye Jamie could see that Ryan's hand was already on the door handle. "Kiss me goodbye before you leap out of a moving car."

Smiling guiltily, Ryan brushed her lips across Jamie's cheek. "Wish me luck."

"Cinq lettres pour ton exam. Je suis sûre que tu vas réussir haut la main."

Ryan jumped out of the car then leaned her head back in, a sour look on her face. "We didn't cover that. I hope."

At eleven a.m., Ryan burst in through the front door and called out, "Come down here and kiss the scholar."

Mia tentatively poked her head around the wall. Her smile was, as usual, devilish. "I don't think Jamie likes it when you make that offer so general."

Ryan gave her friend the aggrieved grimace that often took the place of a smile. "Where is the woman I intended that for?"

"If you mean Jamie," Mia sniggered, "she's in the shower."

Ryan headed for the stairs, taking them two at a time. "Thanks for your help," she muttered. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I know that about you," Mia said, as Ryan went into Jamie's room and quietly closed the door.

Quickly removing her clothes, Ryan then hopped into the bathroom on one foot, pulling on a recalcitrant sock with her hand. Jamie, singing in the shower, didn't hear her lover enter the room. She gasped in surprise when Ryan slid the shower door open and said, "You were here just two hours ago. Is this all you do when I'm gone?"

Jamie smirked. "Is that one little part all dirty again? I thought I scrubbed it really well."

"Nope." Ryan's mood was clearly ebullient. "I'm perfectly clean, but I wanted to be with my sweet girlfriend." She kissed the top of Jamie's head and her nose twitched for a few seconds, a quizzical look on her face. "Grass?"

"Yes. Grass." Rolling her eyes, Jamie explained, "I was outside reading one of my new books and the gardeners came. They obviously didn't see me because after they cut the side yard, they started to blow the cuttings off the shrubs. All of that damp, sticky gunk blew right onto my head!"

"Ooo. Did you yell at 'em in Spanish?"

"Of course not, you silly thing. They were just doing their job." She put her arms around Ryan's waist and hugged her, relishing the warm spray as it showered down on them. "You seem like a happy girl. The test must have gone well."

"Real well," Ryan said, grinning.

"How do you know?"

"I begged the TA to scan it." She grinned like a child. "I got a hundred."

Jamie slapped at her playfully, making Ryan cover up to defend her sensitive skin. "I knew you'd kick ass! You've been studying like a lunatic."

"That's why I got a hundred," Ryan said, straight faced. "I'm really proud of myself."

Jamie stopped pummeling her and studied her face. "You are. That's rare for you."

"No, it's not. I'm always proud of myself when I do well at something that doesn't interest me. It's easy to do well when I'm grooving on something, but I detest French," she said with an expression far past distaste. "It's got so many goofy rules. What kinda language has a numeric system that only goes to 69?"

Smiling sexily, Jamie said, "I'd think that would be your favorite language. And French has perfectly reasonable words for numbers greater than 69; they're just more creative than English."

"Having to say sixty plus ten for seventy is goofy, not creative. Four twenties for eighty is even goofier. Must drive their mathematicians crazy."

"No, it doesn't, my silly girl." She was still holding Ryan loosely around the waist, and she leaned her head back and let the water wash her hair from her eyes. "We have zillions of odd rules for English. They just don't seem odd when you grow up with them."

"Well, I didn't grow up with French, and now that I've mastered the very rudimentary elements, I'm going to do my best to forget it all." She laughed evilly as she shook her head vigorously. "All gone!"

Jamie slapped her sharply on the ass. "Knowing you, every word you ever learned will be rolling around in that cute head when you're ninety."

"Probably true," Ryan agreed. "Ready to get out?"

"Sure. Let's dry off and go back to bed. Having you naked and clean is just about my favorite combination in the whole world."

Sighing wistfully, Ryan said, "Boy, somebody's gonna slide right into this life of leisure." "You'd better believe it, baby. To the manor born."

An hour later, Jamie and Ryan opened the door to their bedroom and started down the stairs. "What time does your father arrive?" Ryan asked.

"He's in town already," Mia called out. "He's going to his apartment, and he'll see you at the ceremony tonight."

Ryan reversed direction and strolled into Mia's room, with Jamie bringing up the rear. "Did he call you, or do you just know that?"

Smiling, Mia said, "He called while you two were having sex."

Clearly flustered, Ryan said, "How do you know we were having sex?"

"The same way Maria Los, who's in the kitchen, knows. If your window was open, the gardeners know, too." She got up from her bed, where she'd been instant messaging with friends, and patted Ryan's flushed cheek. "You're loud, dudes. You especially, James. I heard you order Ryan to do you again at least three times. You've gotta give her a rest." She smiled sweetly and passed by the startled pair, snickering as she went down the stairs.

A muted buzzer sounded, and Jamie said, "The washer must be done. I'm doing some laundry."

"That's the dryer chime. It's higher pitched." Ryan paused on the stair. "Why isn't Maria Los doing it?"

"Now that school is over, I'm sure you'll want to start doing your own again. I just thought I'd help out this time."

Smiling, Ryan said, "You're just doing mine?"

"Yep. I'm perfectly happy with how Maria Los does mine."

"I am, too. I'm very particular, and she's just as picky. But you're right, I'll want to start doing it myself."

Jamie laughed. "There really isn't much complexity involved. Throw the clothes in, add some soap, and let it go."

"Sort the clothes, choose the right temperature, choose the correct cycle and the right spin speed, put in the appropriate soap, throw the clothes in, and let it go. The beauty is in the detail."

Looking guilty, Jamie said, "Uhm, I didn't do any of those details."

Ryan's eyes widened. "You didn't sort?"

"I sorted darks and lights."

"No, no, no. It's much more complex than that." Ryan hurried into the laundry room and bit her lip when she saw that all of her dark clothes were in the washer and that the temperature was set on hot. "Did you wash my white clothes on hot, too?"

"Yeah. The machine says you should use the hottest temperature you can."

Ryan struggled to not sound like a scold. "That means the warmest temperature you can use safely," she said. "I only wash my socks in hot. Everything else is either warm or cold."

"Uh-oh. Make it stop."

"You can't," Ryan said glumly. "Your fancy machine can't be stopped. I think we might have to buy me some new jeans, because the ones in there were just barely long enough as it was. I wash them on cold, and then I stretch them as much as I can before I dry them just long enough to get most of the water out of them. Ten minutes max."

"Maria Los does all of that?"

"Yep."

"I've gotta give her a raise."

Ryan opened the dryer and pulled out one of her white tank tops. It was much shorter than usual and looked at least a full size smaller.

"I guess I've gotta buy you some new underwear, too. Good thing there are few things I enjoy more," Jamie said, grinning slyly.

After lunch, Ryan headed for her room, with Jamie close on her heels. "Why do you have to leave so early?"

"I might be finished with school, but I'm not finished with softball. We're playing on Thursday, so if I work my legs really hard today they'll feel fresh for the game."

Even though it was frequently frustrating, Jamie had to admit that she admired Ryan's tenacity. The poor woman had done little more than serve as an all-purpose substitute for the entire season, but that didn't change how she prepared for each game. Ryan approached softball the way she did most things, focusing one hundred percent of her abilities.

When they got upstairs, Jamie sat on the bed in Ryan's room and watched her change. "We haven't talked about your upcoming games. You know my allegiances are torn, right?"

"I do. You know I'd love to have you with me, but you can't miss Mia's graduation." Ryan made a face, wrinkling up her nose. "It's bad enough that I have to miss my own."

"That just sucks." Jamie threw herself onto the bed, face down. Her voice was muffled when she said, "Why couldn't they start the playoffs after everyone is finished with graduation?"

"There are an awful lot of teams in the NCAAs. They'd probably have to wait until the middle of June to make sure everyone was done, and that would penalize the people who finished in the middle of May. I'm just glad I'm finished with finals; I'm sure some of the girls aren't."

"Mia is really upset that you're not going to be here for hers. She understands, but…" "I feel terrible about it. I'm glad Jordan's going to be here. That'll take her mind off almost everything," she said, chuckling.

"I'm being tugged in a lot of directions. Jennie has called me six times asking if I can get her approved to take a make-up exam so she can go watch you play. I'm not quite sure how she plans on getting there, since I'm not going."

"Maybe she's talked Marta into taking her."

"I doubt that. Marta's not used to having a kid in the house. Didn't you hear how nervous she sounded when she said she'd watch Jen for the week? She wouldn't do anything like that without talking to us."

"I feel bad for Jen. I know that being at the games means a lot to her, but I don't think it's a good idea to condone her skipping exams. She's doing well in school, and I don't want her to think that softball is number one on her list of priorities." Ryan was struggling to get into a pair of compression shorts and Jamie watched her avidly. "Don't get any ideas," Ryan ordered, her tone serious, even though she was smiling.

"Ideas about what?" Jamie asked innocently.

"You look like you're about to lick your lips."

"Is it my fault that you look so remarkably hot?"

"No, that's my fault. And it's just become clear to me how much of your concentration went towards school. We've never been together when you weren't enrolled in at least two classes. I don't know if I can handle you when you don't have other focuses."

Twisting quickly and grabbing Ryan's arm, Jamie pulled her off balance and was soon lying face to face with her surprised lover. "I don't think you can, and I know you can't refuse a dare."

Ryan put her arms around Jamie, being mindful of her splint. She started off slowly and sweetly, barely kissing all around Jamie's tempting smile. As soon as she heard the first moan, she turned up the heat, probing Jamie's mouth with her tongue. When a hand slid into her hair and a leg wrapped around her thighs Ryan twisted just enough to be able to press her hip between Jamie's legs and burrow against her.

"Oh, that's good." It was hard having only one hand at her disposal, but Jamie used it to good effect, palming Ryan's Lycra encased ass so hard she made her squeal.

Ryan slid a hand between them and fumbled around, trying to get her hand up the leg of Jamie's shorts. She'd just hit pay-dirt when the phone rang. They both shot the instrument an evil glare, then their eyes met and they laughed. "I'm not gonna answer it," Ryan said.

"Good call." Jamie wrapped her arm around Ryan's neck and pulled her down. They'd both forgotten about the phone by the time it finished ringing, but both were reminded when Jamie's cell phone began to chirp. "If we can ignore one, we can ignore the other."

Ryan looked at the phone, her eyebrows knit with worry. "Maybe we should get that one." "I've got voice mail. Forget about it."

Relaxing when the second phone stopped ringing, Ryan did her best to get them back into the mood. It wasn't hard, particularly when her fingers found the spot they'd been seeking. She grinned, loving the feel of the warm humidity she found. Her fingers played on the outside of Jamie's panties, and, as she expected, Jamie started pushing back against her hand. They were just getting into a nice rhythm when Ryan's cell phone began to ring. She withdrew her hand, muttered something to herself and got up to inspect her discarded pants. The phone was in a pocket and before she opened it, she said, "It's Marta." Now Jamie wore a worried look that matched Ryan's. "Hi, Marta. Sorry we didn't get to the phone sooner. Do you need to talk to Jamie?"

"No, it is good. I am going to Jennie's house to pick up some things and I thought I would come by your house, if it's not too much trouble. Will you be home?"

"As far as I know, Jamie will be." She looked up to see Jamie gesturing for the phone. "Hold on a moment. I'll let you talk to her." She handed the phone to Jamie and proceeded to dress.

Jamie hung up after just a few seconds. "Come back here." She held out her arms and made kissing motions at Ryan.

"You sure?"

"Heck, yes. Come on."

Ryan knelt on the bed and said, "I thought maybe you'd be out of the mood." "Nope." Jamie put an arm around Ryan and pulled her back down. "I liked you better without your top on, but that's not gonna stop me."

Smiling fondly, Ryan said, "My little spitfire."

"Yes, you sexy thing. I am your spitfire." She hugged Ryan tightly. "But I love you, too." She kissed her again, making the touch tender and filled with warmth. They were nose to nose, with Jamie gazing into Ryan's eyes. "I don't want you to think this is just about sex. I'm…" She pursed her lips, considering her feelings. "I'm rabidly in love with you, and when I'm not busy with school, I have time to think about you without distraction."

"I know what you mean. I'm not there yet, since I'm obsessing about softball this week, but next week I'm gonna be focused." Her index finger motioned back and forth from her eyes to Jamie's. "Completely focused on you."

"No, you're not. You're gonna be in Omaha, playing in the College World Series."

"I love a woman with a positive attitude." Ryan smiled brightly. "But it's Oklahoma City, not Omaha."

"Really?"

"I'm pretty sure."

"Wherever it is, you'll be there."

"I wish my teammates had your confidence."

"They’ll get into it once you win a few games."

Eyes shining, Ryan nodded. "Exactly! If we go on a tear, nobody can beat us."

"That's my girl. When you get over there today, you spread some of your positive thinking on those girls."

"I will." Ryan bent to kiss her, and as their kiss grew in intensity their bodies began to move, one against the other. "I love you." She kissed along Jamie's jaw, down along her throat, stopping when she reached the buttons on her shirt. Her mouth followed her fingers, kissing each bit of skin that was revealed as each button was opened. "I love you," she kept repeating.

In a few minutes, Jamie felt very loved, and very naked. Ryan was still dressed, which always made her feel more bare in comparison. She knew she could have convinced Ryan to get undressed, but she could tell that her lover was in the mood to give rather than receive, and she'd come to believe there was nothing wrong with that.

Ryan touched her with a nearly reverential focus. It seemed as though her hands were everywhere. Each part of her body that Ryan touched felt as though it were tingling with electricity. Jamie would have loved to have stayed right at this level for hours, if not days. But she could tell that Ryan was getting lost in the mood, and she knew she'd be upset if she didn't get to the gym to work on her legs. Jamie urged her forward, kissing her hungrily while she took Ryan's hand and slid it between her own legs.

It didn't take long, only a few minutes, and Ryan looked a little disappointed when Jamie climaxed so quickly. "I want to taste you," Ryan growled, her eyes hazy with lust. She started to slide down Jamie's body, but she was summarily stopped.

"Later, sweetheart. You have things to do now."

Ryan looked up at her as though she were speaking another language. "Huh?"

"I've got all afternoon, but you said you wanted to get over to the gym."

In a shot, Ryan was standing up. "Shit! I completely forgot." She dashed into her bathroom and washed her hands, then came back into the room, brushing her hair. "Thanks, baby. I lost my mind."

"I could see that," Jamie said, giggling.

Ryan bent down and kissed Jamie tenderly. "That's one more reason that I love you. You keep your head when I'm losing mine."

"I wish. I was just maintaining a grip on my sanity because I know Marta's coming over."

"Where was she when she called?"

"I have no idea," Jamie said, laughing. "She could be here any minute. I just wanted to hang up so I could get back to you." She accepted Ryan's extended hand and got to her feet. "I'm gonna take a quick shower."

"I'll stick around until you're done, in case Marta's close by."

Jamie reached up and kissed Ryan. "One more reason why you're the best girlfriend." She took Ryan's hand and held it under her nose, sniffing delicately. "Besides that, there's these talented hands."

Ryan had only been gone a few minutes when the doorbell rang. Jamie ran downstairs to answer it, threw the door open, and gasped in surprise and amazement. "Elizabeth!"

"Happy graduation!" The elderly, very proper looking long ago nanny smiled broadly, her pale blue eyes shining with happiness and a touch of nervousness.

Jamie's gaze swept to Marta, who was beaming at her. "Marta! What a fantastic surprise you've pulled off!"

"No, no, I cannot take the credit. This was your mother's idea."

"No matter how it happened, I'm delighted that you're here, Elizabeth. Come in, come in." She took her hand and led her inside. "Can I make you a cup of tea?"

"That would be a delight. My body believes it is very late."

"When did you get in?"

"Just an hour ago. Marta picked me up at the airport, then we drove here. Your house is lovely, Jamie. Simply lovely."

"Thanks. You two have a seat and I'll make tea. Coffee for you, Marta?"

"If you have any, but don't go to any trouble."

"It's no trouble. I'll be right back." Jamie went into the kitchen and started water for tea, then used the coffeemaker to brew a pot for Marta and herself. She was delighted to see Elizabeth again, but she had a feeling the visit wouldn't be without tension, and she needed a little caffeine infusion.

Jamie walked into the living room, carrying a tray. Marta and Elizabeth were chatting in exactly the way they had since Jamie was a baby. It was clear they liked each other, and respected each other professionally, but Marta never displayed her usual warmth when she was in Elizabeth's company. Observing them for a few seconds, Jamie saw that nothing had changed.

Elizabeth looked remarkably good for her age, which Jamie was fairly sure had crested seventy. She was dressed formally—for San Francisco—wearing a jersey silk dress and a fitted jacket. Very sensible, one inch heels topped her out at about five foot two. She looked a little thinner, a little more wrinkled, and her posture wasn't quite as erect as it had once been, but, all in all, she didn't look much different than she had when she'd left Hillsborough.

"How did this visit come about?" Jamie asked, pouring Elizabeth's tea and Marta's coffee, recalling how each woman took hers.

"Your mother called me not long ago," Elizabeth said. "Of course, she apologized for waiting until the last minute, but she said that I had played such an important role in your upbringing that she thought it only fitting that I attend your graduation. I didn't have anything pressing on my schedule, so, here I am. "

Still getting used to having Elizabeth in her home, Jamie tried to convey enthusiasm she didn't yet feel. "Having you here is a wonderful graduation gift. I'll go get your suitcase and put it in the guest room."

"Oh, thank you, Jamie, but I'll be staying at your mother's new home. Marta tells me it's quite lovely."

"It is," Jamie confirmed. "But we have a guest room if you'd rather stay here."

"No, I'm sure I'd be in the way here. With your mother absent, Marta and I will keep each other company. Just like in the old days," she said, smiling at Marta.

"That's more true than you know," Marta said. "A young friend of Jamie and Ryan's is staying at the house this week. She goes to high school not far from us, and she needed a quiet place to study for her exams."

Elizabeth cast a puzzled glance at Marta. "Where is her family?"

"That's a long story," Jamie interjected. "Jennie had a difficult situation at home and she's been living in a group home for the last year." She could tell that Elizabeth didn't understand the nomenclature, so she added, "It's like a small orphanage. They have anywhere from ten to twelve girls living there."

"Oh, I see." She fussed with her handbag and smoothed out her skirt, nervous gestures that Jamie recognized as Elizabeth's prelude to changing the subject. "Even though I won't be staying here, do you think it's possible for me to have a nap?"

"Of course. You can stay here and have dinner with us before we go to the graduation ceremony."

"That's a good idea," Marta said. "Then I can run home and pick up Jennie."

"The logistics are very complex," Elizabeth said, her laugh soft and polite.

"It's always like that," Jamie said. "We all live too far away from one another, a situation Ryan and I would like to remedy as soon as we can find a house in San Francisco."

"Will Ryan be home soon?" Elizabeth asked.

"No, she'll probably run in here with thirty seconds to spare before we have to leave for graduation."

"Then would you mind if I have my nap now?"

"Not at all; that's a great idea. I'll go get your suitcase."

"I have a small carry-on that has everything I need. Could you get that, Jamie?"

"Sure. I'll be right back."

She started for the door which was opened before she reached it. Mia walked in and dropped her bag on the floor.

"One more fuck—"

The rest of her statement was cut off when Jamie clapped her hand over Mia's mouth. "Look who's here," Jamie said brightly, smiling at Elizabeth.

Elizabeth started to giggle, but she put her hand over her mouth to suppress it. "I'd recognize her and her colorful vocabulary anywhere. Hello again, Mia."

Elizabeth was settled in Ryan's room, taking her nap, and Marta had gone to pick up Jennie. Mia and Jamie sat in the library, making a dent in a nice bottle of white Bordeaux. "You had no idea she was coming?"

"I would have mentioned it," Jamie said. "I'm sure my mom wanted to do something very nice for me, but I'm not sure this is what I would have asked for."

"She's a nice old broad. What's the problem? "

Laughing, Jamie said, "I bet not many people call her a broad. And she is nice. I just think I'd rather have seen her in England. With Mom gone, I'm gonna have to spend a lot of time with her, and that could get old fast."

"Put Ryan in charge. She can charm anyone."

"I think Ryan might be the problem. Mom didn't tell me what she said, but Elizabeth wrote to her after the carjacking and apparently said something unflattering about my being a lesbian."

Mia made a face. "Eww. I forgot she was kinda prudish."

"I didn't," Jamie said, hoisting her glass for another drink.

As expected, Ryan flew in the front door minutes before they were due to leave, calling out for assistance. "Gonna need some help here!" She kicked off her shoes and started up the stairs, peeling off her T-shirt as she went. She had her hands on her sports bra and was starting to yank it up when she sensed someone's presence and then heard a polite, deliberate cough. Ryan's eyes opened comically wide when she locked gazes with the woman who had discreetly cleared her throat. Jamie and Mia ran out of their respective rooms and all four women stood in the hallway: two of them looking surprised and flustered, one merely flustered, and one enjoying the show.

"Ryan, we have a visitor. Mother arranged for Elizabeth, my nanny, to be here for my graduation. Isn't that wonderful?" Jamie's expression did not, in any way, support her avowed pleasure.

As Jamie performed the introduction, Ryan was slipping back into her T-shirt. As soon as her head popped out she was smiling and nodding, appearing genuinely pleased. "That's fantastic! I've wanted to meet you ever since Jamie told me about you. It's a true pleasure." She extended her grimy hand and Elizabeth shook it gingerly.

"It's lovely to meet you."

"I'm sorry for the way I look, but I just finished softball practice."

Jamie put her hand on Ryan's back and pushed her toward the bathroom. "I made a sandwich for you and I laid out some clothes on our bed. Is it okay if we leave without you?"

"Sure. Sure. You guys get going. Just leave a ticket for me on the table in the hall."

"I will. The ceremony doesn't start for an hour, so you can take your time."

"No, I'll rush. I'm sure my Da will already be there and I can help him corral everybody so we can sit together."

Jamie leaned toward her and Ryan bent down to accept a kiss on her cheek. Elizabeth let out a very faint sound and recoiled slightly. Jamie, who was hypersensitive to Elizabeth's cues, noticed it, but she steeled herself and repeated the mantra she had been rehearsing. Live your life and let her deal with it.

Part Two

With Elizabeth in tow, Jamie was forced to drive to campus. It was tough getting around Berkeley at any time, but with several departmental graduations going on at the same time and thousands of relatives from out of town driving around the clogged streets, it was nightmarish. “Do you still go for a long walk every day, Elizabeth?”

“Yes, I do. Why do you ask?”

“Because I'm going to get out of this mess and go to a public lot, if you're up to walking.”

“I'm not as fast as I used to be, but I still log 3 miles a day.”

“This will be less than that...I think. I'm not good at guessing distances."

"I can judge distances, but only in miles. I still don't understand why we were forced to abandon the imperial measure."

"You should move here," Mia said brightly. "We'll never change."

Elizabeth turned and gave her a sweet smile which didn't match the brevity of her response. "I think not."

Jamie had been on the phone for an hour earlier in the afternoon, trying to secure enough tickets to the ceremony. She'd only been allocated four, and she'd bought more from students who weren't planning on using their allocation, but she was fairly certain they were still one short. Instead of leaving Ryan a ticket, she left her a note explaining the situation and telling her she might have to use her charm or a bribe to get in. But as they walked briskly toward the campus Elizabeth pulled something out of her purse. “Your mother gave me this letter, Jamie. Perhaps it is something you need?”

Expecting something congratulatory, Jamie took the envelope and opened it. The letter inside was not from her mother, it was a letter from the Chancellor stating that everyone in Catherine Smith's party was permitted entry. Jamie laughed to herself, wondering how much that little single piece of paper had cost her mother, then she took out her cell phone to call Ryan to tell her that tickets were no longer required.

By the time Ryan got to the ceremony, her father and Mia had things well in hand as far as organizing the seating arrangements was concerned. Marta, Jennie, Elizabeth, and Maeve were all lined up in the second row of seats behind the section reserved for the graduates. Every other seat around them was taken and Ryan said, “What about Jim?”

Quietly, Martin whispered, “His Excellency has a seat of honor.” He pointed across the aisle and Ryan spotted Jim and Kayla and Reverend Evans talking with some functionary. 

“Cool. Are we all set? None of the boys are coming?”

“They'll all be at the party. It's just too difficult for them to get over here after work.”

“Okay. We're good to go. Now we just have to listen to what I'm sure will be a boring speech.”

To Ryan's surprise, the speech was not at all boring. The speaker was Armisted Maupin, a San Francisco-based writer who was not only wickedly irreverent, he was very gay.

When Jamie's row stood to get their diplomas, there were cameras flashing everywhere, and Ryan smiled at her father's antics as he tried to get the perfect picture. “If that lummox in front would get out of the way, I could see her,” he grumbled.

“That's the Dean, Da. He has to give her the diploma.”

“Well, he could position himself better.”

Ryan noted at least a dozen people with video cameras, and she wished her father had borrowed one as he often did. But she had to admit the filming conditions were not ideal for an amateur. The auditorium wasn't well lit, and it was difficult getting a place near the stage. She hoped that the university or the department would release a DVD that they could purchase to document the event.

“Jennie,” Martin whispered, “slide your little self up there and see if you can take a close-up of Jamie.” He handed her the camera and she happily went to do his bidding. She returned a few minutes later looking proud of herself.

“I got some great pictures. She saw me and waved and stuff.”

“That's the good lass.” He reached over and ruffled her hair, the way he did for everyone he cared about—except Maeve. She received decidedly more delicate treatment.

After the ceremony, everyone went outside to enjoy the remarkably warm spring night. Jennie sought Ryan out, and after two seconds of small talk made her pitch, “I've only got two exams on Thursday and Friday, and neither one of them is important. If you talked to my teachers, I'm sure they'd let me go to Fresno with you guys.”

Ryan put her arm around Jennie's shoulders and gave her a squeeze.  “I don't know which of your classes you think are so inconsequential, but I bet your teachers don't agree.  I know I don't.”

Jennie's cheeks turned pink, and her voice got louder. “You were in high school once.  You know how lame everything is.  Besides, I'm doing good in these classes.”

“I assume English isn't one of them, or you would have said, ‘I'm doing well.'”  Ryan smiled, showing that she was kidding, at least about the grammar.

Jennie wasn't easily deterred.  “I'll do anything to be able to go—extra stuff, make up work, anything!”  She looked so sincere and desperate that for a moment Ryan considered letting her go, but she knew that wasn't the right thing for Jennie.  She had to learn that school had to come first.  “No, I'm sorry, Jen.  I'd love to have you there, but you can't miss your exams.”

Crestfallen, Jennie stared down at the ground, not saying another word.  Marta, standing next to the girl, shot Ryan a look that was a little troubling.  There was something about her expression that made Ryan wonder what was behind it, and she made a mental note to talk to her alone.

A videographer appeared and spent a few minutes interviewing Jamie and Jim.  Ryan assumed this was part of the kid glove treatment Jim seemed to get whenever he was anywhere near the Cal campus.  But when the videographer asked her to stand with Jamie and speak about graduating, she thought maybe this piece was something that Cal was doing.  Always game, she and Jamie both grinned for the camera and said a few words about how important Cal had been in their lives, particularly the fact that they had met one another while they were students.

When the videographer approached Martin and Maeve, Ryan knew something was up. She approached the young man and said, “Who do you work for?”

“Videobrations,” he said, giving her a salesman style smile. “We can make any event last a lifetime.”

“No, no, who specifically hired you?”

“I have no idea. I'm one of a dozen people who record events.” He handed her a card that he fished from a multi-pocketed vest he wore. “You can call the office.”

She sighed, seeing that he didn't understand her question. “What did your boss tell you to record—the entire graduation ceremony?”

“Yeah, the entire thing. Jamie Evans and everyone who's with her.”

“Thanks. That's perfectly clear.”

She walked over to Jamie and said, “Your mother's work.”

“What's that?” Jamie was waving to a classmate, and she absently put her arm around Ryan's waist.

“The guy with the video camera. He doesn't know who hired him, but he was told to record you and everyone around you. Your mom is the only one who would have thought of that.”

“Oh, how sweet.” She looked at Ryan. “It's been bumming my high to not have her here.”

Ryan grinned. “Bumming your high? That's a new one.”

“One of my professors says that. She grew up in the Seventies. Every once in a while I find myself mimicking her.”

“Groovy,” Ryan said, flashing a peace sign.

Martin was standing at the edge of the crowd, his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes slightly narrowed.  Ryan went up to him and said quietly, “You don't look like you're having fun.  This isn't your kind of crowd, is it?”

He gave his daughter a half smile.  “You know I'm not good with the small talk.  I have nothing to say to him.” He twitched his head in Jim's direction.  “And I don't much care for Jamie's nanny, but Marta's a good egg.  I'd talk to her, if I could get her alone.”

“Why don't you like Elizabeth?”

“She has some highfalutin ideas.  She seems to think it's inappropriate for a woman to come to an event like this and not have a dress on.”

That told Ryan all she needed to hear.  Even though she knew that her father would love for her to wear skirts, having someone else mention it was not allowed.  Ryan looked at the small gathering, noting that most people looked slightly uncomfortable.  Her aunt was trying to make conversation with Elizabeth and Marta, but it didn't look like it was going well; Jennie looked like she was about to jump off a cliff. Mia was off talking to people she hadn't seen in a while, and Jamie was making the rounds and saying goodbye to classmates. Ryan thought it was probably best to round them up and get back to the house so they could have a proper party.  Waiting until Jamie was finished talking to an elderly man, Ryan made the suggestion.  “Do you think we should get going?”

“Sure.  I don't want to keep everybody at home waiting.  How should we do the transportation?”

“I'm not sure, but I don't think Jennie wants to ride with me.  I told her she couldn't miss school to come to the softball games and she's in a funk.”

“Oh? I'm glad she talked to you.  She was mad at me when I told her the same thing, but maybe I'll be out of the doghouse now that you're in it.”

Ryan smiled at her.  “Is this how it's going to be when we have kids?”

“More than likely.”  

They managed to convey everyone to San Francisco in three cars, and Ryan was pleased to see that the graduation cake named Jamie, Mia, and herself.  She was unhappy at the prospect of missing both of her own graduations, but it was nice to be included in the party.

Ryan found her Aunt Maeve standing by the bar which had been set up on the dining room table.  “Thanks a lot for trying to make Elizabeth feel at home.”

“I can't take much credit for that, dear.  I don't think she likes me much.  And, to be honest...”

Ryan's eyes bugged out.  “I've never heard you say you didn't like anyone!”

“And I didn't say it now,” she said, laughing softly.  “We just don't have much in common.  She was telling me where she lived and when I told her I wasn't familiar with the area, she seemed quite surprised.  I admitted that I've only been to England to change planes, and she seemed to think that was...lacking on my part.”

“Well, I guess it is reasonable for people to think you'd go to England just to have a look around. It is awfully close to Ireland.”

“She's never been to Ireland,” Maeve said frostily.

Ryan was a little taken aback by her aunt's surprisingly cold demeanor, but she had to admit that neither Maeve nor her father had much patience with people who didn't show at least a modicum of praise for their heritage.  They were both a little thin-skinned about Ireland, probably because they both came from relatively small, less sophisticated parts of the country.  Whatever it was, Elizabeth must have really gotten under Maeve's skin to have her react so strongly.

Ryan scanned the room and found Jim talking to Jamie. They were near the stairs and Jim looked up and caught her gaze. Signaling her to come over, when she joined them, he said, “I've got presents for you two.” He reached into his jacket and handed Jamie a small box.  Smiling with delight, the way she always did when she opened a present, Jamie took the top off and saw a partially filled charm bracelet from Tiffany's.  It had about two dozen charms on it, and Jim explained some of them.

“There's a little horse from your equestrian training. That's a gymnast… Remember how long you took classes?  A nice sloop, to recall our time sailing. A bike to remember the AIDS ride you and Ryan took. There's a graduation cap from today; there's a golf club...”

Jamie gave him a hug and a kiss on both cheeks.  “This is so thoughtful, Daddy.  And I know you picked it out yourself.  You give the nicest gifts.”

“I did pick out every piece myself.  It was like a trip down memory lane deciding which of the charms best represented the path you've taken to get to this point in your life.  I know you won't wear this piece of jewelry all the time, but when you do, I hope you think about all those times with some fondness.”

She hugged him tightly, then pulled away and kissed him again.  “I will.”

Jim turned to Ryan and gave her a smile that she had a hard time deciphering. “Well, Ryan,” he said, “you're a little harder to buy a gift for. I know you like technology and sports of all kinds, but I wanted to get you something that would have some sort of lasting significance.”

“No need,” Ryan said, holding up her hands as if to ward off his gesture.

“No, no, I put a lot of thought into this. I decided to do something I should have done a long time ago.” He reached into his briefcase and brought out a wrapped package the size of a big book. “I'm trying to be more open, both in mind and attitude.”

Ryan accepted the package and neatly removed the paper, not rushing even when Jim looked like he was losing patience. “What is this…” She read the framed document, her confused look slowly morphing into a wide smile. “This is very, very cool.” She handed it to Jamie, then read a separate document that was bound like a paperback book. She gave Jim a warm hug, not allowing his obvious discomfort to deter her. “Thanks for being proud of us.”

“Daddy! This is awesome!”

 Jamie found Martin and showed him the document. He read it slowly, and, when he was finished, his lips were pursed, trying to hold back tears. “This is lovely, Jamie. Simply lovely.” He looked across the room and actually managed to smile at Jim. “Thank you,” he mouthed.

“What is it?” Maeve asked, coming up beside her husband.

He turned it around to show her. “Jim had the senate pass a resolution honoring Ryan for her accomplishments at school.” He sniffled and added, “Then he made a statement that they put into the Congressional Record talking about how proud he was of both Jamie and Ryan and how they were life partners.” He snuck a look at Jim and added, “Maybe he's starting to understand that things like this mean a lot more than his flashy, expensive presents. Siobhan isn't swayed by that kind of thing.”

Maeve hugged him, thinking to herself that Ryan might not be swayed, but she definitely enjoyed a new toy as much as the next young woman did.

Since Rory was the type of fellow whom older women always loved, Ryan had asked him to try to keep an eye on Elizabeth, but he came up behind her after an hour and said, “Help!”

“What's wrong?”

“I can't make any headway with Jamie's nanny. She's not interested in music, or travel, or anything else I know anything about. And when I try to get her to talk about herself, she doesn't seem interested. Sorry I struck out, but she's tough.”

“Thanks for giving it a try, Rory. I guess I'll just hope she isn't having a miserable time and let it go at that.”

Ryan noticed that Jamie was absent, so she took over hostess duties. They had developed an unspoken agreement that one of them would always keep an eye out to make sure that everyone was having fun. Rory had taken Jennie aside and they were both smiling when Ryan caught his eye. She was just about to check on the guests in the dining room when Marta came up behind her and said quietly, “Can I speak to you privately?”

A little surprised, Ryan nodded. “You want to go to my room?”

“I think that would be best.” They walked downstairs and when they reached the lower level Marta said, “This is where you and Jamie live?” 

“Yes, these are our San Francisco digs.”

Marta's look showed she didn't understand Ryan's reference.

“This is my old room. I think of this as our home, even though we spend most of our time in Berkeley.”

“I see.” She looked around at the very plain room and said, “I'm glad she lives here with you, Ryan. This is good for her.”

She didn't add any details, but Ryan thought she knew what Marta was hinting at. Ryan had always had the impression that Marta thought the Evans money was not always a blessing.

“I want to talk to you about Jennie's mood,” Marta said. She sat down on the love seat in her typical composed manner, and Ryan sat on the edge of the bed waiting for her to continue.

 “I don't know Jennie very well, but I'm fairly sure something troubles her.”

 “Troubles her in what way?”

Marta waved her hands, looking helpless. “I can't be specific. She just seems different than she did the last few times she's come to the house. Perhaps she's worried, maybe about school…  I'm not sure what it is, but she doesn't seem the same.”

“She's been moody,” Ryan agreed, considering the last few times she saw Jennie.  “I'm pretty sure there's something going on at the group home, but I have no idea what it is. I'll try to talk to her tomorrow.”

“She's  usually home by 3:30.”

Ryan winced. “I have softball practice at 5. I'd never be able to make it back to Berkeley if I saw her then.”

 “I'm sure it can wait a day or two. It's probably nothing important. Girls at her age change like the weather.”

“Yeah, they can, but it's still a good idea to keep a close eye on her. She tends to make unwise decisions when she doesn't have guidance.” Ryan chuckled, showing a grin. “So do I, for that matter.”

After spending an hour outside talking to the cousins, Jamie went back into the house. She'd been worried about whether Elizabeth and Marta would feel out of place; for very different reasons, neither woman was the type of person who fit in naturally with the O'Flahertys. While Marta was fun-loving and friendly, she had a difficult time relaxing at a party—especially when she wasn't allowed to help. Jamie had come to see that Marta was always a little uncomfortable socializing with people who were, in essence, her employers. Elizabeth didn't seem to be bothered by that problem, but she was very reserved, and not the type to enjoy being around the sometimes painfully loud O'Flaherty family.

 A smile lit Jamie's face, and it grew in intensity as she caught sight of her lover,  effortlessly entertaining Elizabeth.  They were sitting on one of the love seats in the living room, and Marta was perched on the arm of the piece next to Ryan. Marta was gazing at Ryan with open affection, while Ryan's eyes were trained intently on Elizabeth, who was speaking.  Wanting to know how Ryan had warmed her up, but not wanting to interrupt, Jamie stood a few feet behind her former nanny and tried to eavesdrop. Rory approached and whispered, “My sister obviously has a lot more charm than I do.”

James smirked. “You don't honestly think I'm going to argue with you, do you?  Not that you're not charming, but…”  She turned and gazed at Ryan for just a second, then faced Rory again. “She's on a whole different plane.”

Mia walked up to them and looked at Rory expectantly. “Ready to go?”

“Where are you two going?” Jamie asked.

“Not just us,” Mia said. “Some band Rory knows is playing in Berkeley. Some of the boys are gonna go. Rory said he'd give me a ride home.”

Jamie put her hand on Rory's arm, speaking with overly dramatic flair. “Keep an eye on her. Actually, keep both eyes on her. She can get into trouble faster than hyperactive triplets.”

Mia stuck her tongue out. “I know how to stay out of trouble. I hid in the corner when I saw you trying to recruit people to babysit your nanny.”

“You little rat! I thought you said she wasn't so bad.”

“She's not,” Mia said, smiling her devilish smile. “As long as I don't have to spend any time with her.”

After a while, Ryan excused herself and went to get a beer. Jamie caught up with her and said, “I'm gonna go talk to my dad for a bit. Poppa has Kayla occupied and he looks kinda serious.”

“Ooo…he does look serious. I wonder what's up.”

“Hard to tell. Maybe she wants to become an Episcopalian.”

Ryan chuckled softly. “Yeah. That's likely.”

She gave Ryan a salute. “I'll report back later.”

“Have fun. Let me know if you need backup.”

Jamie walked up beside her father and said, “Hey, Dad. Wanna go sit on the front porch? The fog isn't in yet.”

He tore his gaze from Kayla and focused on his daughter. “Oh. Sure. Lead the way.”

Jamie moved through the crowd, working it like a politician. She kissed a few cheeks, slapped hands with a cousin or two, and hugged some older people whom Jim had never seen before. She was giggling when they went outside, and her father said, “You're really one of the gang here, aren't you?”

Surprised, she looked at him and nodded. “Well, sure. I'm part of the family.”

“It just…surprises me. I mean, I know you consider the O'Flahertys your family, but I've never seen you interact with people like you do with them.”

Gingerly protecting her arm, she settled onto the low chaise. “How do you mean?”

He was thoughtful for a minute, then said, “You're more relaxed, more casual. Playful. Yes. That's it. You're playful. You weren't like that before you met Ryan.”

“Really?” Jamie cocked her head, smiling quizzically. “Not at all?”

His lips were pursed and he shook his head. “Not that I saw. Even when Mia was over you were pretty…adult. To be honest, I was always a little puzzled that you were such good friends. You two hardly seemed like you were the same age.”

“Huh.” Jamie fluffed her hair as she often did when she was considering something. “We had a funny relationship. I think she liked being around someone a little…a lot…more stable. And I liked being around someone a lot wilder. We kinda lived through each other vicariously I guess.”

“Is it still like that?”

Jamie laughed. “No, not much. I can still be a little too maternal, but we're about on par now. She's settled down a lot and I'm more like other women my age. We're meeting in the middle, I guess.”

“You seem much more like a twenty-two year-old now. I suppose that's Ryan's influence.”

“A bit. But I also feel more free now. Ever since I faced the truth about my sexuality, I've loosened up. But Ryan helps. A lot.” She smiled brightly, her eyes almost closing. “She's very mature about most things, but she's like a two year-old a lot of the time. It's a great combo.”

“She reminds me of myself a little,” Jim said, smiling in remembrance.

“She does?” The look on Jamie's face caught her father short.

“I didn't say she reminded me of Charles Manson. Can't you even try to hide your scorn?”

“Scorn? I didn't mean…it's just…I…I guess I never thought of that. But then, I didn't know you when you were her age…” She trailed off, realizing she couldn't dig herself out of the hole she'd fallen into.

“You probably think I've always been a jerk,” Jim said ruefully, “but I was a pretty nice guy when I was in school.”

Jamie touched his leg, trying to find the words to apologize. “I didn't mean anything…”

Jim waved her off. “Don't worry about it. You can't think less of me than I think of myself right now.”

“What's wrong, Dad?” Her words were soft and she sounded genuinely concerned.

“Oh, I'm just crying in my beer. Kayla's probably telling my father what a user I am, and I can't disagree with her.”

“What brought this on? Have you and Kayla been fighting?”

“No. Not a bit. But I told you that she's ready to move on. I've been trying to talk her into hanging on for a while, but I can't even guess whether she'll consider it. She's treating me just like I treated her predecessors.” He smirked, but his eyes were dull and sad. “I guess it's my turn to see how the women I dumped felt.”

“Have you been depressed for long?”

“I'm not really depressed. I can do my work.” He patted her shoulder. “Don't worry about me. I'm not ready to end it all.”

“God, I hope not!”

“I've just been more introspective lately. That's always dangerous when you've lived like I have,” he said, chuckling bitterly.

“If you want to have a relationship, you can start with someone new. Someone you don't work with, who doesn't stand to gain something from being with you.”

“I ruined the only relationship that's ever meant anything, Jamie. If I can't have your mother back, I'm always going to be settling.”

Wincing, Jamie said, “I think she's moving on, Dad.”

“I know, I know. She told me why she was going to Italy. Although why she'd want to be with that gigolo is beyond me.”

“Do you know him?”

“No. Your mother's known him for a while, though. She used to talk about him when she bought a new painting while she was over there, but I didn't pay much attention.” He laughed. “I thought he was another gay art dealer she was taking into her retinue. I guess I was wrong.”

“Yeah. I don't think he's gay,” Jamie said, wishing he were.

“No, not if he can keep a wife and a girlfriend happy.” He shook his head, pursing his lips into a bitter expression. “Why she'd date a married man is also a question for the ages. You think you know a woman you've been with for over twenty years…”

Jamie looked at him for a minute, trying to formulate the question that was fluttering around in her mind. “Do you think you really tried to know her?”

Clearly annoyed, he was silent for a few moments. “I'm sure you think I had no interest in your mother at all, but that's not true. I loved your mother, Jamie. I think I grew to know her pretty well over the years.”

The way he said that gave her pause. “You didn't know her at first?”

“God, no!” His annoyance vanished, replaced by a smile. “I didn't even know her middle name when we got married.”

“I know you got married because of me, Dad, but you must have spent a lot of time together before you got married.”

His head shook. “No, we didn't. We were dating, but we'd only known each other for a month or so when we…” He averted his gaze. “We'd probably been out five times.”

“I know Mom got pregnant, but you didn't know that right away.” She stared at him, trying to figure out what he was hinting at. “That gave you time to get to know each other better.”

Glumly, he said, “That was a miserable time for us.” He twitched, looking irritated again. “More for her, of course.”

“I don't know what you're talking about. You're being very obtuse.”

“I'm not trying to be. It's just hard for me to think of that time. After we…made love…your mother had second thoughts.” He scratched above his ear in a rough manner, his lips pursed. “Not that night, of course. But later…”

“When she was sober,” Jamie said, easily guessing the point.

“Yeah. When she was sober,” he repeated. “The next day I picked her up and we went down to a place her parents had on Half Moon Bay, a little fishing cabin her dad hid out in,” he elaborated, a fond half-smile on his face.

“I can't see Mom fishing.”

“No, no. She'd told me they had this place and I thought…” He left her to surmise his direction.

“You thought you could go have sex again.”

“Well, yes,” he said, looking strangely young, like he was twenty-five again. “I wanted it to be a little nicer than the backseat of my car.”

Jamie shook her head, thanking whatever force had compelled her to wait to have sex until she was ready for it. “So what happened?”

“We certainly didn't have sex,” Jim said. “It took me most of the day to pull out of her that she wasn't sure we'd actually had sex the night before. She was embarrassed and frightened. It wasn't a good day.”

“How drunk was she?” Jamie tried hard to keep the accusation from her voice, but she was fairly sure she wasn't doing a great job.

“I don't know. Even then she didn't appear drunk. It must be in the genes,” he added quietly. “Her mother was the same way. She'd look perfectly normal after five cocktails, and I wouldn't be able to feel my feet.”

“So, Mom was upset?”

“Very. I felt like a total ass, so I didn't even kiss her. Hell, I don't think I kissed her again until I asked her to marry me.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah. I kept trying to reassure her that she wasn't pregnant, but she was terrified. It was a tough what…five or six weeks, I guess. They didn't have those pregnancy test kits then. She had to actually go to a doctor. After that…” He sighed heavily, his shoulders slumped. “I talked to my father and we both agreed that I had to ask her to marry me.”

Jamie tried to ignore his very lukewarm remembrance of his proposal. “Do you think you would have proposed later?”

He leaned back in his chair and took his cigar case from his inside pocket. “You don't mind, do you?”

“No, not when we're outside.”

“If we're gonna stay here on Memory Lane, I could use a drink. Do they have any Scotch?”

“No, I'm fairly sure they don't. But I can get you some good Irish whiskey.”

“Sounds good. Just a little ice.”

She got up and went into the kitchen where she knew the stash was hidden. When she returned, her father had his cigar lit and he was puffing reflectively. “Thanks, honey.” He accepted the glass, took a sip and nodded his appreciation. “Nice stuff.”

“Rory brings a bottle or two of the good stuff home when he goes to Ireland for the summer.”

“He said he's leaving at the end of the month,” Jim commented.

“He's usually gone by now, but he didn't want to miss Ryan's graduation. Now that Ryan's substituted softball for graduation, he's going to stay until her season's over.” Her smile grew. “He's a good brother.”

“They all seem like good boys.”

“So what's your verdict on Mom?”

“I know one thing,” he said, gesturing with his cigar. “Your mother's life would have been much better if she'd never met me. I know she loves you more than anything on earth and she wouldn't give you up for anything, but she would have been a different woman if she'd gotten that masters in art history and worked in a museum or a gallery. She was far too young to get married. And I was too immature.”

“What about your life?”

“I hate to admit this, but I'm trying to be honest—with myself and with you. Being with your mother was good for me on every level. She was a good wife, she helped my career immeasurably, and her money let us live like kings. And having a lovely woman like her on your arm makes you look like an important guy, even if you're not.”

“But did you love her, Daddy? That's what I want to know.”

He took a lungful of smoke and blew it out in a series of rings, the still, heavy air not disturbing the small circles in the slightest. “I didn't know her well enough to love her at first. I liked her a lot, and if we'd kept dating I probably would have asked her to marry me. But I can't know that. I'm just guessing.”

“Were you too young?”

“Not technically, I suppose. But I wasn't mature enough to take the ups and downs of marriage. When the going got tough—I cheated.”

Jamie ignored the flippant way he admitted that. “Tell me the truth. What made you want to see another woman?”

“The first time?”

“Yeah. The first time.”

“Damn, that's been a long time. I've gotta think for a minute.” He smoked his cigar, then took a few sips of whiskey. “I have a hard time admitting this,” he said quietly. “But I was afraid of being a father, afraid of being a husband. Your mother was afraid, too, and she was seriously depressed over her mother's death. I worked like a dog that first year, and I just…I just wanted to be with someone who didn't need so much.”

“Damn,” Jamie muttered.

“Yeah. Damn is right. I was a self-involved ass. I just needed a time out, someone to have fun with for an hour.”

“Who was she?”

“A secretary.” He gave her a dry look. “I've never learned that ‘don't shit where you eat' nostrum.”

“I guess not,” she said, feeling a little sick at the thought of her father hitting on a young secretary while her mother was struggling with grief and her pregnancy. “How long did it last?”

“Not very. I broke it off after you were born. Having a baby in the house is time consuming, even if you have a nanny. I couldn't juggle keeping three women happy, so I tried to concentrate on you and your mother.”

“But that didn't last long, did it?”

“Hmm.” He exhaled a long, slow stream of smoke that looked almost blue in the fog. “I'm not sure of the dates, but I had a pretty serious affair with another associate. You weren't in school yet, so I'd guess you were four or five.”

Jamie's gaze sharpened and she leaned forward. “Wasn't that about when Mom's father died?”

Jim's head tilted and he nodded slowly. “I guess so.”

“Did you cheat every time she was having a tough time?”

Her eyes were glittering with rage, but Jim stared back at her and answered her semi-rhetorical question. “I've never thought of it that way, but that's how it looks.” His eyes darted around hopefully, as if he were seeking a savior, but none came. “I don't think it was just that your mother was needy. That was probably part of it, but she was also distant and closed-off. You know she's not good at talking about her feelings.”

“She's getting better,” Jamie said. “Ryan and I encourage her to talk.”

He nearly sneered at her. “Well, I'll never be as perfect as you or Ryan, so don't even try to hold me to your lofty standards.”

“Knock it off,” she whispered harshly. “I'm just saying that it's hard for Mom to talk about her feelings. I don't think she ever felt safe enough to trust you with them.”

“True. Probably true,” he said, his ire waning. “So, she was distant and she seemed uninterested in most things. She was drinking more and sleeping more.”

“She was probably clinically depressed.”

“Mmm…probably. But neither of us recognized it. We drifted further and further apart.”

“Meaning that you cheated again.”

“Right.” He looked weary. “That's what I do; that's who I am. I thought we'd established that.”

“I'm sorry,” she said, closing her eyes briefly. “Go on. I shouldn't have interrupted you.”

“I don't have much to add. I think you know the rest. We went back and forth, and after a while she hardly seemed to care. We gave it a big effort after you left for college. But she was so withholding.” He looked out onto the street, his eyes not focusing. “Not that I blame her. But it wasn't fun…for either of us. There was no spark. So, I started seeing Kayla and your mother must have sensed something because she turned me down a few times and I never asked again. That was the end of our sex life.”

“I hate that you lost it, but I don't think I could forgive you once…much less several times.”

He looked at her for a long time, his green eyes flicking back and forth as he looked deep into hers. “Don't assume you know how things will work out. Marriage sometimes seems like a series of challenges that you have to conquer. It's sure as hell not easy.”

“Thanks for those encouraging words,” she said glumly. “I'm having a hard enough time getting over my fears and insecurities.”

His gaze sharpened. “Fears about what?”

“About Ryan,” she said, waiting for what she knew would be an overreaction. 

“What's she done?” he demanded, his voice rising.

“Nothing. Nothing at all. But I worry that she might actually be like you. And, yes, I mean that in the worst way.”

Slackjawed, he stared at her for a few seconds. She didn't apologize or even acknowledge the cruelty of her words, which added to the hurt. It took him a few more seconds to gather himself enough to say, “Boy, you don't mind giving your father a swift kick, do you?”

She shrugged. “You can't tell me all of this stuff and expect me to think the better of you for it. And your behavior is exactly what I'm worried about. I'm worried that Ryan is not aware of what it'll be like to be with just me for the rest of her life.”

“It's not easy,” he said. “Obviously.”

“And she's had a lot of partners—as you well know.”

“Yes, she has, Jamie. Far more than I had.” He didn't need to add that bit, but he had an overwhelming desire to knock her off her high horse.

“Thanks,” she said, smiling insincerely.

“Just agreeing with you. She's sown several fields of wild oats. Frankly, I was amazed. I didn't know women needed as much variety as men do.”

Fixing him with another sickly smile, she said, “She's special.”

“It's probably not the same for her. I was sure I didn't want to get married until I'd been practicing for a few years. I had a plan all worked out in my head. Falling in love was not on my agenda.”

“It wasn't on Ryan's, either,” Jamie said, feeling her stomach start to roil. “She didn't want to be in a relationship until she was finished with school. Falling in love with me was definitely not in her plans.”

“Oh.” He cleared his throat. “I…didn't know that.”

“We haven't had many opportunities to talk about things like this where one of us wasn't trying to kill the other,” she said dryly.

“Good point. But we're okay now, aren't we?”

Her shoulders rose and fell. “Yeah. We're fine, Dad. I just wish that you could reassure me that Ryan's not going to regret falling in love with me before she wanted to. I wish…I wish you could tell me some ridiculous reason for your dating other women when you claim to love Mom. I wish I knew that Ryan would never get bored with me or that we'll have hard times that'll make her go to another woman for comfort.”

“I wish I could, too, honey. But I don't understand why I did it, so I sure as hell can't predict whether Ryan would. But you're in a much better place than your mother and I were. Ryan really wants to be with you. That's clear to anyone.”

Jamie gave him a smile that warmed slowly. “Is it really?”

His smile matched hers. “Yeah. It is. She looks at you like you're all of the supermodels rolled into one.” He chuckled, watching her blush. “You don't have to end up like I did. Just talk to each other and don't let things fester. Don't guess what she needs and wants; ask her. And if she seems distant, don't let her get too far away. That was my first mistake. I could feel your mother slipping away from me and instead of trying to pull her back, I ran away. I think Ryan has more guts than I do.”

“She's pretty determined,” Jamie agreed. “And I have no reason to distrust her. I guess I just have cold feet.”

“Cheating can go either way, you know. How do you know you'll never want a little variety?”

“Oh, please!” She threw her head back and laughed. “Being with Ryan is like being with fifty women. She has so many sides to her personality, she's more like a prism than a person. And she's so willing to do anything to make me happy. I can't imagine ever finding a woman who could attract me more than Ryan.”

He took a puff from his cigar, a faraway, contemplative look on his face. “Jordan would be my choice. Women don't get much prettier than her.”

Jamie put her hand on his knee and looked him in the eye. “If you ever so much as blink in Jordan's direction, I'll paint the bull's-eye on your back and Mia will shoot you.”

 On the way home, Jamie rested her hand on Ryan's thigh.  “I had fun tonight, how about you?”

 “Yep. I think I'll have all of my graduation parties at that place.  It's a good setup.”

 “You're a silly girl.  You're also a very charming girl.  I appreciate how much time you spent talking with both Marta and Elizabeth.”

 “It was easier once the crowd got a little smaller, but I thought we were going to lose both of them early on.  I had this vision of Elizabeth hailing a cab.”  She grinned and chuckled as she turned to meet Jamie's eyes.

 “Marta would've stopped her.  She's always been the levelheaded one.  Hey, I've got to go to the doctor tomorrow morning to get the all clear on not wearing my splint anymore.  Want to go with me?”

“You're not wearing it now,” Ryan pointed out helpfully.

 “I'm not going to ruin my graduation pictures.” She tossed her head the way she always did when she was trying to look haughty.

“I can go with you as long as I'm home by about noon. I'm going to go swimming before practice.”

 “I can't guarantee that. Actually, I was trying to trick you into spending the day with Elizabeth.”

 Ryan shot her a quick look.  “If I can't trust you…”

 Getting in a quick tickle, Jamie said, “How about  dinner?”

 Ryan patted her belly. “Just ate, thank you.”

 “Come on. Don't tease me. I have to take Elizabeth out for a nice meal.”

 “Are you taking Marta, too?”

 “I would, but I think Marta would rather Elizabeth and I went without her.”  She smirked.  “Marta is a very good sport, but she and Elizabeth were never good buddies.”

“I like Elizabeth,” Ryan said.  “She reminds me of my grandmother. They both seem like good hearted people who are a little rigid.”

Jamie smiled at her. “I really want you to like her. I feel like I've told you a lot of things about her that make it seem  like she was always difficult.”

 “No, I don't think that. I've always had the impression that you were very fond of her.”

“I am.  And I'll be just as fond of you if you'll go to dinner with us.”

“I'd love to.  I wasn't anywhere near finished with grilling her about your childhood. I quickly figured out that's the only thing she seems to like to talk about.”

 Jamie clapped her hand over her eyes, then peeked out  from between her splayed fingers. “Maybe you should stay home, after all.”

For the rest of the trip Jamie was silent. Ryan assumed she was asleep, so she was surprised when she started to pull into the driveway and heard Jamie's sharp, alert voice say, “Leave the door open. Tomorrow's trash pick-up.”

“I thought you were asleep.” Ryan glanced at her as she got out of the car.

“No, I'm too wired up from the party.”

They put their bins out and went inside. Mia's room was dark, as expected. “I noticed Conor didn't go out with the boyos.”

Jamie laughed softly. “Is Mia a boyo now?”

“She's a bigger boyo than the rest of them put together. Except for Conor, of course. He's the biggest of the boyos.”

“I think it's best things didn't work out for Mia and Conor. They're far too much alike.”

“Yeah.” Ryan started to undress, neatly folding her clothes as she removed each item. “I think Con needs someone to slow him down, someone more mature.”

Jamie was standing halfway in her closet, and her voice was muffled, but audible. “He's a long way from being ready to be in a relationship.”

“That's what I thought about myself, too. But here I am today.” She patted her bare chest with both hands.

Closing the door, Jamie looked at her reflectively. “I think it's very dangerous to hope your partner helps you to grow up. If you're not sure you're ready, you're not.”

“Mmm.” Ryan walked into the bathroom and hunted around in the medicine cabinet, looking for the floss that Jamie mysteriously moved nearly every day. “Sounds like someone's been talking to her father. I hear some dark notes in the distance.”

Jamie came up behind her and swatted her softly, then reached into the cabinet and removed the floss, handing it to Ryan. “He does have the ability to darken an otherwise fantastic mood. We made the mistake of talking about my mother.”

“Usually not productive.”

Standing still and staring at the wall while Ryan wound floss around her fingers, Jamie said, “Tonight was revelatory, if not productive. He's still on his ‘I'm a jerk' binge, but this one seems like it might have some real thought behind it.”

“I hope that's true.”

Ryan started to methodically clean her teeth and Jamie sat on the edge of the tub. She had her hand on Ryan's leg but she didn't say another word, oblivious to the worried look her partner gave her.

Ryan finished brushing and went into Mia's bathroom to use the facilities. When she returned to their bedroom, Jamie was lying on her back, her knees in the air. She looked like she was deep in thought, but Ryan interrupted her anyway. “I have a present for you.”

Jamie's head snapped in Ryan's direction. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Two seconds.” She extended a package wrapped in the tissue paper that Jamie kept a supply of to keep her clothes wrinkle-free when she packed for a trip.

“Nice paper,” Jamie said, grinning as she accepted the package. “Do you get this someplace special?”

Putting her hands behind her back, Ryan rocked back and forth, looking a little shy as she often did when she presented a gift. “Yep. My girlfriend keeps a stash.”

“It would kill you to buy wrapping paper, wouldn't it?”

“No, not kill, but it might maim me.”

“I think it's nice you don't let me shame you into doing things you don't want to do.”

Ryan sat down on the bed, smiling placidly. “I let you talk me into plenty. And if it meant something to you to have fancy paper, I'd buy some in a second.” She waited a beat. “It doesn't mean anything, does it?”

“Nope. I like wrapping, though. Newspaper would be fine.”

“Got it.” 

Ryan watched expectantly as Jamie slid her fingernail under the tape. When she freed the gift she gazed at it for a second, then met Ryan's eyes. “This looks like the cool book you made me before the AIDS ride.”

“Stick with a winner.” Ryan showed her teeth. “I hope you like it.”

Jamie couldn't resist giving her a kiss. Then she started to read the book one page at a time. “Oh, my God! Our first assignment for ‘how to be a lesbian'!”

“I think the class had a different name, but that's it.” Ryan beamed at her partner, then watched her continue.

“A menu from the first place we had lunch together.” Tears sprang to her eyes and Jamie put the book down and climbed into Ryan's lap. “You have such a sweet, sweet heart. I can't believe you kept all of this.”

Ryan nuzzled her head into Jamie's neck. “I kept a lot. And when I was missing something, I went and got another one. It's all in there, baby. Both years we shared at Cal.”

Unable to resist, Jamie turned and began flipping pages. “Oh, look. The first time my name was in ‘The Daily Californian.'”

“I had several of those, so I could cut one up for the book.”

Jamie wiped at the tears spilling across her cheeks. “You took pictures of every place we hung out. Here's where we had juice all that first fall.” She sniffled as she tried to read the words Ryan had written. “Is that really how you felt?”

“It was.” Ryan kissed her gently. “It is. And it always will be.” Jamie closed the book and set it aside, knowing she'd devour it the next day. But tonight, Ryan was the delicacy that she had to taste, and she couldn't wait to start.

Jamie had just gotten to sleep when she felt Ryan twitch. She lay there for a second, assuming that her lover had just had one of those sensations of falling that sometimes happened as she fell asleep.  But after another couple of seconds she felt her twitch again, and this time it felt purposeful.

 All of her senses were alert while she tried to figure out if Ryan was awake or asleep.  It seemed as though she was awake, but her body was twitching as though she was asleep.  Ryan made a soft grunting sound and Jamie finally sat up and put her hand on Ryan's back.  “Are you okay?”

It took a second for her to answer, and when she did she sounded slightly embarrassed.  “Yeah, yeah.  I'm fine.  I was just thinking.”

“Thinking?  What kind of thinking were you doing?”

“I was thinking about softball.”

That wasn't much information to go on, so Jamie tried another tack.  “So you were awake?”

“Yeah. I told you I was thinking.”

Jamie put her hand on Ryan's shoulder and pushed gently until Ryan lay on her back and faced her.  “What were you really doing?  You seem a little evasive.”

 “Do you really have to know everything that goes on in my head?”

Shaking her head, Jamie leaned over and gave Ryan a quick kiss.  “No, I don't.  You go back to thinking, and I'll go to sleep.”

She lay back down but after a few seconds Ryan tapped her on the shoulder.  “I'm sorry.  I was just a little embarrassed, and I didn't want to tell you what I'd been doing.”

Jamie lay on her back and looked at Ryan quizzically.  “I know you weren't masturbating,” she said, laughing.  “You can never reload that quickly.”

“No, you tapped me out.  But even though I'm tired, my mind was still racing, so I thought I'd do some hmm... mental exercises.”

“You've taken me this far. Come on, tell me the rest.”

Ryan smiled grudgingly.  “All right.  When I'm getting ready for a specific sport I play it in my head,” she said with finality, as though that completely explained what she was thinking.

“I'm gonna need a little more information.”

“I thought that covered it.  I think about the things that I have to do when I play softball, and I go through each fundamental piece by piece.  It helps me relax.”

“So, it's kind of the mental imaging thing?”

“No, it's more like I'm really performing the actions.  I think of what it feels like to have the ball in my hand and what muscles I use to throw to first base.  Stuff like that.”

Intrigued, Jamie sat up a little taller.  “I used to do some mental exercises where I imagined a golf ball landing on the green and going into the cup, but it doesn't sound like that's what you're doing.”

“No, it's different from that.  I try to use muscle memory and really think about what parts of my body go into different actions.  I was just thinking about sliding and I must've gotten a little too enthusiastic in my thoughts.”

Jamie laughed, shaking her head.  “You were lying here imagining what it feels like to slide into a base.  After I made passionate love to you for I don't know how long, you still have the energy to play softball in bed.”

Ryan shrugged, grinning guiltily.  “I'm an over achiever.”

“You're a lunatic.  And if you want to play any more softball, go do it on the couch and then come back to bed when you're done.”

“I know you love me, even when your words don't reflect it.”  Ryan bent down and gave her several wet, noisy kisses.  “You can't help it.”

Part Three  

Because they'd been up late the night before, Jamie slept in the next morning. When she woke up, the space next to her was empty and cool. "Ryan?" she called out sleepily.

In seconds, Ryan appeared in the doorway. She braced her arms on the frame and rested most of her weight on one foot, a pose she often adopted. "G'morning."

"Why did you leave me?"

"I didn't leave you, I just moved a little." She twitched her head in the direction of her own bedroom. "I woke up at the usual time, so I thought I'd do some e-mail."

"Who's getting your attention this morning?"

Ryan sat on the side of the bed and Jamie immediately moved so her head was on Ryan's lap. Ryan started to gently massage her lover's head, saying, "You're very subtle. I never would have known that you might be amenable to a little head scratching."

Humming with pleasure, Jamie twitched around so Ryan could reach the back of her head and the nape of her neck. "You haven't told me who you were writing to."

"The usual: Aisling, Bryant, Aunt Moira, my grandparents."

"I didn't know your aunt had e-mail."

"She doesn't. I print off her letter and snail mail it to her. Same for my grandparents."

"You're a good correspondent." She put an arm around Ryan's back and snuggled close. "You're a good cuddler, too."

"I wish I could cuddle right now, but I've gotta get going. Would you like me to make you breakfast first?"

"I'm not in a rush. I think I'll wait until Mia gets up."

"How do you know she's not already up?"

"If she is, it's because she hasn't been to bed yet."

"Good point." She patted Jamie gently. "If you don't need me to cook I'm going to go over to school."

Jamie almost reminded Ryan that they didn't technically have a school any longer, but she thought better of it and just gave her another squeeze.

Ryan stood up and started for the door, but she stopped and turned back. "You don't have time to stop and see Jennie today do you?"

"See Jennie? Isn't this a school day?"

"Yeah, it is. She probably won't be back at your mom's until around four."

"I'll be over there around that time, but only to take Elizabeth to the airport. Why? What's on your mind?"

"It's probably nothing, but Marta said Jennie has been acting a little funny."

Jamie sat up and ran a hand through her mussed hair. "She has been little moody. If you think it's important, Elizabeth can wait a bit. She likes to be at the airport ridiculously early. I could probably spare twenty minutes without having Elizabeth totally freak out."

Ryan frowned, then shook her head. "I don't want to make her suffer. I keep kicking myself about not having more time for Jen, but softball takes up so many hours. As soon as this tournament is over, I'm going to rededicate myself to spending both quality and quantity time with her."

"Agreed. We both need to do a better job with that. Luckily, she can generally take care of herself."

Ryan sat back down, smiling gently when Jamie immediately put an arm around her. "I guess she can. But she's not much younger than I was when I started getting into trouble."

"You didn't get into trouble, honey. You were always a good kid."

"I'm not saying I wasn't a good kid, but I did get into trouble." She met Jamie's eyes. "The adults just didn't know."

"Oh." Jamie nodded solemnly. "You mean when you were sneaking out of the house at night."

"Exactly. I had adults who loved me, three brothers and dozens of other relatives and friends who were keeping an eye on me, and I still could have wound up at the bottom of the Bay."

Jamie tightened her hold, snuggling her face against Ryan's back. "Don't even talk like that. I can't stand to think of how lonely you were."

Ryan reached around and patted her. "Sorry. I'm probably being melodramatic." She stood up. "I think we're a long way from having kids of our own. The state would step in, given how little time we've spent parenting Jen."

"It's not that bad. We've got Marta on the case, and, if anything were seriously wrong, she would know."

"I guess you're right. Between Sandy, Marta, you, me, and your mom, Jennie shouldn't have an unsupervised thought."

After having dinner in San Francisco with Elizabeth, Jamie and Ryan drove home. Ryan had some Irish music playing, and the soft soothing tones were making Jamie sleepy. She yawned noisily and Ryan smiled at her when their eyes met. "You seem pretty sleepy for somebody who slept late."

"I think I had too much wine. I should have realized you would only have a little bit."

"It's not a crime to leave some in the bottle."

Chuckling, Jamie said, "At those prices it is. I would have had to ask for a doggy bag."

"I'd like to see the look that would have gotten. As it was, the waiter didn't believe you were twenty-one. Asking to take the bottle with you would have made him positive that your I.D. was fake."

"Why don't you ever get carded?"

"I didn't even get carded when I was seventeen. I clearly appear very mature." She made a funny face, making herself look like she was about seven. "See?"

"Yes, sweetheart, I can easily see how mature you are. You were quite adult tonight. Did you have fun anyway?"

"I did. Once Elizabeth warms up, she's really very entertaining."

"You know, she is. I was really worried. I thought it was gonna be a dreadful visit."

"Me too. At the graduation party it took me a long while to figure out she was here only to see you and talk about you. Once I showed I was really interested in how things were when you were a kid, listening to her stories was great."

"She's not good at small talk, but she's interesting if you get her talking about books. She loves reading."

"Luckily I didn't get trapped into that," Ryan said, winking. "But she really perked up tonight when you started talking about...what was that prize?"

"The Man Booker. It's like the Pulitzer."

"For novels?"

"Yeah. Novels published in the British Commonwealth and Ireland."

Ryan shot her a quick look. "Ireland? My Ireland?"

"Yes, your Ireland. What other Ireland is there?"

"The English one. Why's the Republic involved with a British prize?"

"I don't know the politics, honey, only that Elizabeth loves to read as many books as possible on the long list. Now that I have time, I'm going to read my share so we have something to correspond about. I'm going to do my best to be as good a correspondent as you are."

"That's a pretty high bar," Ryan said, grinning.

"It is." Jamie was quiet for a few moments, then said, "It's been nice seeing Elizabeth, but I'm glad she's leaving tomorrow to meet up with her sister and their friends."

"Before tonight, I didn't know about that part of her trip. I thought she was just here for your graduation."

"No, my mom arranged for a whole big thing. That's probably how she talked Elizabeth into coming. They're going to see the Grand Canyon, then they have a couple of days in Boston and a couple in Washington DC. They'll get to see the country a little bit without having any of their flights be too long."

"It was really nice of your mom to do all of that. She's a good egg."

"Yeah, she is. I wish she'd been here, but sending Elizabeth shows me how much she tried to make my graduation memorable. I need to focus on things like that and remind myself that I'm a lucky girl."

"If you're not too tired, you can get even luckier. Wanna go for two nights in a row?" Ryan wiggled her eyebrows rakishly. "I'm leaving for Fresno in the morning, so this is your last chance."

"I'm never too tired for you, slugger. Never ever."

The next day Jamie helped Ryan get ready for her trip. "Are you sure you don't mind going to my math graduation for me?" Ryan asked. "I know it's kind of stupid, but it would really mean something to me."

Jamie put an arm around Ryan's waist, and cupped her chin to raise it. She looked at the hooded blue eyes and couldn't help smiling at her. "I don't mind a bit. Maeve's gonna go with me." At Ryan's surprised expression, Jamie added, "Your father tried to get off work early, but he couldn't do it. He really wanted to be there to hear them mention your name and all of your accomplishments, but duty calls for both him and you, so Maeve and I are gonna represent."

"You sound like Mia," Ryan said, tweaking Jamie's nose.

"You know what I mean. The O'Flaherty brand has to show up."

"I appreciate it. You know that it slays me to have worked this hard and then not be able attend either of my graduations. And I'm gonna miss this one by like…" her face scrunched up like a child's, "…an hour!"

"I'm really disappointed, too." Jamie tickled under her lover's chin, drawing a reluctant smile. "We had a party planned."

Smirking, Ryan said, "An O'Flaherty party is just an excuse to barbeque and drink beer. But it was gonna be my party. I haven't had one in months."

"We can have one when the tournament's over. It won't spoil it if it's late, will it?"

"Nah. I guess that's one of the prices you pay for participating in sports. I've missed more than my share of things I wanted to do because of one game or another."

"You don't regret it, do you?"

"No, not a bit. I mean, you play a sport so that you can excel at it, right? I'm really excited about getting to play in a regional; it's sort of the capstone of my college athletic career. Even if we don't go very far, and everyone is saying we won't," she commented with disgust, "I'm excited."

""I’m really sorry you have to miss your graduations, though. It just doesn’t seem fair."" "I don't know who told you that life is fair," Ryan said, smirking, "but they were lying."

The softball team traveled to Fresno via their usual bus. The majority of the players liked to sit next to one another, but Ryan and Jackie, befitting their status as seniors, usually stretched out across both seats in a row and spent the trip talking to one another over a seat back. This time, Ryan was in the front pair, and she reclined one of the seats so she could talk to Jackie through the opening between the seats. Jackie had both of her seats reclined, and she rested against the window, patiently listening to Ryan who was too worked up to relax.

"Why don't these kids realize that half of the battle is confidence?" Ryan whispered hotly. "A lot of them seem satisfied to have reached the playoffs. That's bullshit!" Her eyes had taken on the color of polished aluminum, and they glittered in the late afternoon sunlight.

Jackie shrugged, not looking very concerned. "I think they know that, but they tend to forget it. It's like when you go from high school to college. Logically, you know it's just a step up, and that you'll be able to handle it. But I think most people get scared that they won't be able to cut it. You forget how competent you are, and you focus on how much you don't know."

Clearly irritated, Ryan said, "What kind of crap is that?" Jackie laughed, and Ryan's voice grew louder. "I mean it. When I was in kindergarten I was itching so badly to get into grade school that they almost had to lock the door so I wouldn't leave and try to sneak into the second grade room."

"Why not first grade?"

"My brother was in second grade, and I wanted to show that I could keep up with him. That's what competition is all about."

"What? Jumping ahead?"

"No!" Ryan looked like she was about to spit. "Doing your best. Always wanting to be challenged."

"Most people aren't like you, Rof. Most people assume they can't do something until they see evidence that they can."

"That's not true!" Ryan's expression softened and a look of uncertainty flashed across her face. "Is it?"

Laughing again, Jackie said, "I think it is, dude."

Glum, Ryan leaned her head against the seatback and was quiet for a few minutes. When she spoke again, she used her normal voice, not the half whisper she had been relying on to keep their conversation between the two of them. Most of the other women had been talking softly, if at all, and Ryan's voice sounded unusually loud. "Did I tell you about my dream last night?"

"No, and I'm not sure I want to hear about it now. Knowing you, it probably involves Jamie and things I don't like to think of her doing."

Jackie's chuckle made Ryan laugh. "You don't mind thinking about me doing those things?"

"Nah. You're like some kind of wild animal—you can't help yourself. But Jamie seems kinda…delicate or refined or something."

"She's something, all right, but I didn't dream about her. I dreamt about being at bat in Oklahoma City in the championship game, facing Arizona."

"Was that a dream, or a nightmare?"

"It was a dream. A great dream." Her voice grew louder still, and most of the other conversations stopped. "It was the fifth inning and we were scoreless. No outs, man on first. I worked the count to three and one and knew the next pitch was gonna be a good one. The pitcher certainly didn't want to walk me with no outs and you coming up after me."

"Cool. It's nice to know I'm a threat even in your dreams."

Ryan allowed her a quick smile and continued. "I didn't get all of it, but I got enough to send that ball right back at the pitcher. She couldn't get her glove up in time and it hit her on the thigh." She smiled, looking almost serene. "The feel of the ball coming off my bat gives me chills even now, just thinking about it."

"You didn't go deep in your dream? What kind of dream is that?"

"My favorite kind. The kind where I dream about making the most of a situation. The pitch wasn't in my wheelhouse and I knew I couldn't drive it, but I could get my bat on it and hit it hard. Then you came up and drove in two runs."

Jackie smiled brightly. "Cool. I'm the hero, even in your dreams."

They both heard a smattering of quiet laughter. "You were a hero, but only because you did your job. Because there were two men on and no outs, the infielders were playing in. You were able to squeeze a single in the hole where the second baseman should have been. You would've been an easy out if we hadn't been on base, so we were all heroes."

"But I'm the one with two RBIs," Jackie said proudly.

"True. But I wouldn't have gotten as good a pitch if Lupe hadn't been on first." She tried not to smile when she heard the young woman in question whimper. "Those are my favorite kind of dreams. The ones where I really enjoy the beauty of a team sport."

"What is the beauty of a team sport, you eloquent devil?"

"You know damn well what it is. It's relying on each other when you're in a slump, and helping your teammates out of a jam when they need it. It's as close to a family as you can get without being related."

Smiling contentedly, Jackie said, "That's true. I've always played team sports mostly because there aren't many individual sports that cater to a woman of my impressive size. I don't know what it would be like to be all alone out there."

"I ran track in high school, but I much prefer team sports. For me, it's more rewarding to have a bunch of people to share the good times and the bad."

Jackie was talking as loudly as Ryan was, and the rest of the players were completely silent. "I'm really glad you joined the team, O, and I'm glad you don't resent my big butt keeping you out of the lineup. We both know you're a better all-around player than I am."

"We don't know that," Ryan said dismissively. "This lineup got us to the NCAAs. I'd rather every one of us got to play every day, but that'd be cheating. Besides, you and I wouldn't both fit on the first-base bag. I'm happy to play my role."

"I've been wondering about that. What is your role, anyway?" Jackie asked, grinning at her friend.

"My role is the same as everybody else's—to do what's asked of me."

"You know, if I were Florida, I'd be scared shitless to play a team that can afford to keep you on the bench."

"They should be afraid," Ryan said, her expression so intense as to be frightening. "They should be very, very afraid."

On Wednesday afternoon, Jamie drove to Pacific Heights to pick up Elizabeth. She was feeling anxious, even though she knew it was childish. She doubted that she'd ever feel like a real adult around Elizabeth, even though she'd been a miniature adult for most of her life. But as much as she cared for her former nanny, they would always have a power imbalance. Since Elizabeth had been the disciplinarian in Jamie's life, she, even more than Catherine or Jim, was the one that Jamie felt she had to impress. Not in terms of achievement—Jim and Catherine were the objects in that department—but in terms of behavior. And even though Elizabeth had been perfectly polite toward Ryan, Jamie knew that a lecture was imminent.

She hadn't talked to Ryan about it. She assumed that Ryan thought the battle was over once she had worked her charms on Elizabeth. But Jamie knew better. Elizabeth would never, ever chide her about something in public, even if only Marta was present. And even though this was her fourth day in town, Jamie and Elizabeth hadn't been alone yet. Now that she was faced with the prospect of just the two of them, Jamie could feel herself tensing up the closer she got to the house.

It took quite a while to find a parking space in Pacific Heights at the best of times, but Jamie was distracted and missed two perfectly good spots which were, as would be expected, snapped up immediately. She finally found a space and had to jog to get to her mother's house on time.

Elizabeth opened the front door before Jamie had reached the first step. In a mildly annoyed tone, Elizabeth said, "I've already said my goodbyes to Marta. We'd better be off or we'll be late."

Jamie knew they had plenty of time, but she also knew that Elizabeth was hyper-punctual, and she didn't want to make her trip stressful. "I don't want you to have to walk all the way to the car, so I'll take your bags down to the curb and then come by and pick you up."

"All right, if you're sure that's the best idea."

"It is. I'll be back in a few minutes." As Jamie took off running, she realized that having a little physical activity was good for her. By the time she reached the car she was less anxious than she had been earlier, and she felt more lighthearted when she pulled up to fetch the luggage.

The bags were heavy, and Ryan's car was much higher than her own. She found herself favoring her recently broken arm and she started to giggle when Elizabeth stood behind her and offered only rousing verbal support. There was something funny about an elderly woman exhorting her in a refined British accent while Jamie did everything but kick the suitcases to get them into Ryan's car. By the time she finally succeeded, she was panting and wiping the sweat from her brow.

"Everything is so difficult in this city," Elizabeth said. "It's as bad as London. I can't imagine why your mother spends most of her time here. Hillsboro is so much lovelier."

"I suppose it is," Jamie agreed, "but I think we'll both wind up here. Mom really seems to enjoy it, and Ryan's family lives nearby."

"Yes, I suppose they do."

Jamie was quiet for a few moments, but she could tell Elizabeth had something to say. They had spent far too many years together for her to miss the clear signs. Finally she heard the unmistakable throat clearing.

"I was quite surprised when your mother invited me here."

"You were?"

"Yes. I'd assumed that you'd cut ties with me," Elizabeth said with typical directness.

Startled, Jamie said, "I would never do that. What made you think…" She snuck a quick look when she heard what sounded like sniffling. "Elizabeth," she said soothingly, seeing that Elizabeth had removed a handkerchief from her purse and was dabbing her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I've always felt very maternal towards you. I was fully aware of my place, but my feelings for you were deep and genuine. I've always wanted only the best for you."

"I know that. And I feel very close to you, too."

"It certainly hasn't seemed so. Ever since I wrote to you after your traumatic experience, I haven't heard a word. I assumed you thought I was meddling where I didn't belong."

"No, no, that's not true. You've earned the right to say anything to me, Elizabeth, anything at all. It's just that that was such a tumultuous time…"

"I can hardly imagine," she said, her voice breaking again. "At least twenty times I've sat down and written you again, but I've never been sure of what to say. I know it was insensitive of me to express my feelings about your…attachment right after you'd been through so much, but I was so shocked. Astounded, really. I sent that letter before I had time to think it through more thoroughly."

"Honestly, you have nothing to apologize for. Like I said, it was a very difficult time for all of us, particularly Ryan, and I've spent much of the last few months trying to help her get back to normal. It's not that I haven't thought about you, but it's been hard for me to figure out exactly how to respond."

"You're not angry?"

Seeing how troubled and upset Elizabeth was made Jamie feel like an utter heel. "No, I'm not. I was certain you wouldn't approve of my relationship with Ryan, so I wasn't surprised to hear you express that sentiment."

Her sharp mind clearly undiminished, Elizabeth turned to her and asked, "Did you read the letter?"

"No, to be honest, I didn't."

"But you know what I said."

"Only in general terms. My mom went through all of the mail and she removed anything that she thought might upset me. So she just gave me a brief summary of the notes from most of my relatives and you." She snuck a glance when traffic allowed and was surprised to see Elizabeth smiling at her.

"That's a very good thing. Your mother has developed some excellent instincts." Her smile grew brighter. "I can tell how much closer you two have become." She reached across the car and patted Jamie's leg. "I think that's lovely. Simply lovely."

"You do?" Jamie turned quickly to see Elizabeth almost beaming at her.

"There's nothing I want more. Even though you're an adult, you still need protection from the outside world. It thrills me that your mother is giving that to you. I can rest easily now."

"Do you want to talk about my relationship with Ryan?"

"I think not."

"You can say anything you want to. I'm in a good space now."

Mildly perturbed, Elizabeth said, "Whatever does that mean? Is that some Americanism?"

"I suppose so," Jamie admitted, nodding. "I just mean that I'm feeling good. I don't feel as vulnerable as I did then."

Elizabeth was quiet for a few moments, then she said, "Is there anything I could say that would convince you to change?"

"Change my sexuality?"

She could hear Elizabeth wimper softly.

"Yes, I suppose that's how you'd put it."

"No. There's nothing you, or anyone else could say to make me stop loving Ryan. There have been times in the last year when I thought my relationship with my father might end because of my choices, but that wouldn't have changed my mind, either."

Elizabeth let out a startled gasp. "Your father? He doesn't approve?"

"No, he doesn't, but he's trying to come to terms with it. It's been a bumpy road."

"I can't imagine you distancing yourself from your father."

Jamie's voice took on the calm, assured tone that it often did when she was speaking of something that meant a great deal to her. "You know how much I love my father. I would have severed that connection to protect my relationship with Ryan. That's how much she means to me."

"I can see that; I can hear it in your voice. And if there's one thing I know about you, it's that you don't back down once you've made a decision."

"I can be pretty intractable," Jamie admitted, smiling at her.

"Intractability isn't a vice when it's in the service of something that's truly important." She took in a breath and added, "Your relationship is clearly that."

"Thank you," Jamie said. "Thanks for acknowledging that."

"Your grandfather seemed part of the crowd," Elizabeth said, changing the subject.

Jamie detected a bit of disapproval in her tone. "He is. He's very fond of Ryan and her family."

"I suppose he's supportive of your...attachment."

"He is. The Episcopal Church in San Francisco performs gay marriages, you know. He's going to marry Ryan and me this August."

"Well, well." A heavy sigh accompanied her words. "This underscores why the Anglican communion is in such disarray."

Jamie had been following the serious problems the church was having in keeping all of her churches held together, and her beliefs clearly followed those of the more liberal churches. But Elizabeth had always been a "high church" adherent, and Jamie was fairly sure her affiliation hadn't changed. "It's always hard when a large organization is in a state of flux. I'm confident there will be an eventual agreement."

"I'm not so certain. Sometimes I think I should excuse myself from the whole mess and become Roman Catholic."

Trying not to laugh, Jamie mused for a few seconds about seeing Ryan and Elizabeth passing one another as they each drifted into the other's church based on their theological differences. "I've been going to Ryan's church, which is Catholic, more often than I've been to Poppa's. I'm not sure where we'll end up, but we'll decide prior to having children."

"Children?" Elizabeth asked weakly. "You're planning on having children?"

"Yes." Jamie didn't add anything, allowing the older woman to deal with the concept on her own.

It took a while, but traffic was slow so Elizabeth had plenty of time to mull things over. "I have to remind myself that things are different for you in many ways. Your wealth, your name, and even this city allow you to do things that wouldn't have been considered, much less tolerated, when I was a girl."

"I'm sure that's so. It's a different world."

"It is," Elizabeth agreed, sounding surprised. "It's an entirely different world here." She was quiet for another few minutes, then said, "This isn't the life I want for you, but you seem to be clearheaded about the whole thing. And Ryan's a lovely girl."

"She is. I think she's the loveliest girl in the world."

Elizabeth patted her again. "The sparkle in your eyes when you talk about her says a great deal. I just wish it could be directed at one of her brothers."

She let out the soft, almost melodic laugh that Jamie had heard so many times in her life. She felt herself misting up at the sound, and she reached over and took Elizabeth's hand, which she held for the duration of the trip.

Part Four 

Catherine had traveled over the Atlantic for two hours before she found her thoughts beginning to drift toward reality. It struck her rather sharply when she realized how she had completely ignored her usual life for the duration of her trip, but when she was with Giacomo all she thought of was the present, the moment they were sharing. There was something magical about their time together. Magical and dream-like and so alluring that she mourned the fact that it had ended. But it had, and she wondered if that was part of its charm.

She recalled her grandmother talking about her love of their garden in Rhode Island. One of the things she'd most loved about it was springtime when her garden was filled with jonquils and hyacinths. The best thing about the flowers, her grandmother had told her, was both their unpredictability and their evanescence. The fact that they would only last for a short time, and one was never sure how long that time would be, was a large part of their allure. Her relationship with Giacomo was very much the same. She was never sure when she would see him, or for how long, but when she did spend time with him, she was intoxicated by his mere presence.

She had been charmed by the young Jim Evans, and she had, in time, grown to love him, an emotion that still occasionally made its presence felt. But she had never, ever felt as full of life and love as she felt when she was with Giacomo. He was like a drug for her, and she knew that her withdrawal would be painful.

Everything about her trip had been perfect. Simply perfect. Each day had been filled with the promise of unmitigated joy, and each had, in different ways, met that promise. But as the plane sailed above the unending blue of the Atlantic she felt the magic dim. Focusing Thoughts of California forced her to admit how little she had considered her more grounded life while she was gone. She felt a sharp pang of guilt as she recalled she'd promised herself she'd call Jamie an hour or so before her graduation. But on the day in question, Jamie never entered her thoughts. Being perfectly honest with herself, she had to admit that she had barely thought of her daughter the entire time she was away. That realization hit her like a blow to the chest, and she felt a headache coming on. She didn't in any way doubt her love for Jamie. What troubled her was how cut off one part of her life was from the other. She didn't think that was good for her, but the only way to end the dichotomy was to stop seeing Giacomo, a thought that was unbearably unappealing. The fact that Giacomo was distant and largely unavailable was clearly part of his appeal. Having him in her life was like planning and dreaming of an upcoming vacation to a tropical paradise. Everything about it revolved around pleasure; there wasn't a hint of the usual, the workaday routine. And who would willingly forego a lovely, stress-free vacation that gave nothing but physical and emotional gratification?

In Fresno, Ryan felt herself becoming more anxious and fidgety as the day wore on. She understood why the NCAA did things in a certain way, but that didn't mean she had to like it. First, half of the team and all the coaches had to spend over an hour in the press room being interviewed by no one more important than student reporters from Cal and Florida and a bored looking local from the Fresno Bee .

In Ryan's opinion, interviewing a coach about an upcoming game was a waste of everyone's time. No one had any idea how the game would turn out, and everyone said nearly the same thing—that they were pleased just to be there, and if they played well they would be happy. She personally thought that sentiment was a load of bull, but she understood why it was universally adopted. No one in his or her right mind would say, “We're a heck of a lot better than the other team, and so if we don't win it's because we screwed up.” Still, sitting in the underwhelming press conference, she wasn't able to stop squirming. She wanted to play the game rather than talk about it.

They were finally released but even then they weren't able to warm up, or start preparing for the game. There were so many teams in the tournament that practice times were rigorously scheduled. Their game began at 5:30, and they were scheduled for batting practice at 3 and infield practice at 4:30. It was just 2 PM, so they had a full hour to kill.

One of the assistant coaches offered to take anyone who was interested over to the student cafeteria, but Ryan preferred to play on a relatively empty stomach. Instead of snacking, she opted to sit in the stands and scope out the team she thought would be their toughest opponent. As she neared the playing field, she almost regretted not going for a hotdog. It was only the fourth inning and Fresno State was beating the University of Maryland—Baltimore County by nine runs. College softball scores were usually more similar to soccer rather than baseball scores. It was typical to have highly competitive games end at 1-0 or 2-1. Watching Fresno State dismantle their first opponent drove home just how difficult getting beyond their regional was going to be.

As it turned out, getting past Florida did not prove to be difficult. The Cal players seemed to have gained some confidence and Ryan was very pleased with the way they performed. She was also secretly thrilled when she was called to go in as a defensive replacement for Jackie in the fifth inning. She only got to bat once, but she worked the count effectively and drew a walk. There were quite a number of Cal fans in attendance, and it was hard to hide her smile when she heard her name called enthusiastically from the stands. She was left stranded, but they were Cal was ahead 2-0, and she tipped her cap at the fans who cheered lustily for her.

As soon as the game was over, a young woman stood up from her seat and surveyed the crowd. She needed a ride home and was hoping to find someone who looked vaguely familiar, but not familiar enough that they would know her name. The Cal fans were pretty a small group, and most of them had been at nearly every game. She had been very careful to avoid sitting close to anyone she actually knew, and also tried to be quieter than usual. Nonetheless, she'd had a few close calls where someone might have recognized her and she didn't want to get caught now that she was almost home free.

Tentatively, she approached a couple who had been cheering lustily for the catcher. She thought she'd seen them before, but she was certain they weren't regulars. “Hi,” she said softly, smiling. “Are you headed back to Berkeley?”

“Yes, we are.” The woman looked at her for a moment and then a glimmer of recognition showed in her eyes. “Oh, I know you. You come to all the games, don't you?”

“Most of them,” Jennie agreed. “The people I came with are going to go out with the team, but I wanted to get home sooner. I was hoping that maybe…”

“We'd be happy to give you a ride,” the woman said, standing up. “Let's go down and congratulate our girls.”

“Uhm… I've got to go tell the people that I came with that I won't be riding with them.”

“That's fine, honey. We'll meet you down by the locker room.”

“It's gonna take me a while,” Jennie said, gesturing vaguely in the direction opposite the locker room. “Are you in that big parking lot over there?”

“Yes. But don't you want to talk to your friends on the team? You're a friend of Ryan's, aren't you?”

“I know her, but I'm friends with just about everybody,” Jennie said, showing her most winning smile. “I'm kind of like the mascot.” She started to walk away, calling out, “See you at the parking lot!”

“What's your name, dear?” the woman said.

Jennie had been working on that little detail for over an hour. One of the players had a sister who was roughly Jennie's age and size. She wasn't in the stands today, but Jennie saw that as a plus. “Mariel,” she said, taking off down the bleachers at remarkable speed.

The U.S. women's Olympic volleyball team was gearing up for their upcoming trip to northern Europe. The coaches had been riding them hard, and on their Thursday afternoon practice Jordan had been yelled at three times. She hated making mental mistakes, especially in her situation. None of the coaches had given her reason to think that she would be the player chosen to be the second starting outside hitter. As a matter of fact, she thought she'd been criticized more than the other women competing for the same spot. She was always hard on herself and she would've let the coaches' criticism drive her mad, but it seemed as though this particular coach, Doug Grace, didn't waste his time on people who he thought would be cut.

She and her roommates had given him the unaffectionate nickname of Bobby Knight, because his language was always foul and often very harsh. But she had played for tough coaches before, and she wasn't going to let him mess with her focus. She wasn't sure what color her cheeks turned when he caught her sneaking a look at the clock on the wall, but she was fairly certain they were pretty pink. "Sorry if we're screwing up your schedule, Ericsson. I know going to Los Angeles means a lot more than making the Olympic team, but the rest of us would appreciate it if you could at least try to act interested."

Jordan wasn't going to be the one to correct him about her destination. She just nodded grimly and promised herself that she would not look at the clock again, no matter what. She regretted telling Bobby that she had a plane to catch. Practices usually let out in plenty of time for her to make the flight, and she knew that he, more than any of the other coaches, didn't have any patience for a player who didn't devote 100% of her energies towards the sport, but as much as she wanted to make the team, Jordan was not going to give them 100%. She gave her all when she was on the court, but she had a life outside of the sport, and she wasn't going to mess it up.

When the practice was over, she had almost two hours to make it to the airport, plenty of time given the relatively light traffic and their proximity. Toni had agreed to drive Mia's car to give Jordan a quick ride to the airport, and once they'd showered and changed they were on their way. "Bobby beat your ass pretty good today, didn't he?" Toni gave Jordan a sympathetic look.

“Yeah, but he had a right to. I wasn't all there.”

“I've got to hand it to you. You've got more confidence than all of the other girls who're fighting for a spot."

“Why do you say that?”

Toni gave her the sardonic look she often favored. “It's just that I can't remember anybody else ever asking for one day off, much less…what is it? Three? Four?”

“They didn't give me a hard time about it,” Jordan said, starting to sound perturbed.

"I didn't mean to piss you off. I just meant that, you know, you're not a lock. So you must be uniquely confident.”

"I don't want to be unique. I'm just not going to miss Mia's graduation. It should be my graduation day, too, and giving up my degree for this chance is enough of a sacrifice. I'm not going to make Mia suffer, too."

“Nobody says you have to. But if you think the coaches aren't ticked off at you, you're wrong.”

Jordan glared at her "What have you heard?”

"Don't get mad. I haven't heard anything myself, but a lot of the girls have said that the coaches aren't sure about you. I think you would have had the position locked up if they were sure you were as committed as the rest of them are."

"Are you serious?" Jordan could almost feel the blood drain from her face. She felt a little sick to her stomach, but she didn't want to let Toni know that.

Her silence didn't stop Toni from continuing. “You're better than the other girls who're trying out for outside hitter, but they seem more focused."

“That's just not true. I'm 100%,” she said hotly, “and the coaches know it.”

“I hope they do, because the other girls don't.”

The flight to San Francisco was relatively short, but had a tendency to be fairly rocky. Still, it wasn't the roughness of the flight that made Jordan have to run to the bathroom and vomit three times during the trip. Her fear of flying and anxiety about her talk with Toni had done that. She wasn't very popular in the small cabin, either, since she had occupied the restroom far longer and more times than was polite. The last time she returned to her seat, she heard two women talking about her rather brazenly as she passed by.

"She has to be a model. She's probably bulimic.”

“No, she's too tall to be a model," the other one said. "She's almost freakish."

Improbably, their discussion about her took her mind off her anxiety and let her focus on coming up with witty retorts that she'd never take the time or waste the energy to deliver.

When they finally landed, the jetway door opened and Jamie made eye contact with Jordan, who let out a sigh of relief.

Jamie went up to her and put her arm around her waist. "You don't look so good."

“I don't feel well. Can we stop at the gift shop or something so I can get something to settle my stomach?”

“Sure. What's going on? Have you been sick?”

“No. One of my roommates was giving me a hard time about taking tomorrow off and I let myself think about that. Plus, I despise flying, and the trip was a little rough. So I guess it's just nerves of all sorts.”

“You should be fine now that you're home.”

Jamie's smile was so genuine and warm that Jordan could feel herself perking up already. “I'm really glad you came. Mia would be all over me, trying to make sure I wasn't seriously sick. Where is she, anyway?”

“She and her buddies decided to have a party tonight. They're running around like mad trying to get it organized.”

“Great. Maybe she'll be too busy to notice I look like death.”

“Small chance, buddy. She watches you closer than I watch Ryan.”

Despite Jordan's complaints, Jamie insisted they take the time to get her some food to settle her stomach. A bagel and some tea did the trick, and by the time they got home, Jordan looked pale, but almost normal. On the way up to the front door, Jordan pinched her cheeks several times, then asked, "Do I look healthy?"

Jamie laughed. “You look like you've been slapped.”

“Good enough,” Jordan said, pasting on a smile and breaking into a jog to get to Mia more quickly.

When Mia had mentioned that she and her friends wanted to have a blowout party, Jamie insisted they have it at the house. Mia had argued against her own interests, but Jamie had been insistent. Exams were over, the whole town was celebrating, and they were on good terms with all of their neighbors.

Mia had visited every house on the block, telling them that they were having a party and if they were too loud they should call them before they called the police. She even took the trouble to make up cards with her phone number on it, something that took Jamie by surprise. She had noticed that Mia was maturing in many ways, and going out of her way to make sure the neighbors were accommodated was another indication of that.

Another indication of her maturity was her decision to invite Conor, Rory, and the rest of the O'Flaherty cousins. It was clear to Jamie that Mia and Conor were still not entirely comfortable around one another, and she thought it reflected well on Mia to invite him despite that.

Mia and her buddies were unloading kegs of beer when Conor, Rory, Declan, and Colm arrived in Conor's truck. Jordan was helping to direct traffic, but, as usual, she avoided physical labor. They had all learned that Jordan treated her body like a race car, and she tried not to wear it out by using it to run errands around town.

The lads took one look at the frail young men helping Mia, and they stepped in to quickly and efficiently carry the kegs into the backyard. They had significant experience in setting up kegs, so they did that as well, freeing the party organizers to go back into the house and get the snacks organized.

When Jamie heard the boys were out in the backyard, she went out to say hello. She was approaching Conor from behind when she heard him say, “How did Mia expect those guys to help out with all those limp wrists?” Not only did no one laugh, but Colm had a look of warning on his face.

“Jamie?” Conor greeted nervously.

She swatted him as hard as she did his sister, and she laughed along with everyone else when he jumped a few inches. “That's really rude of you,” she said quietly. “You'd hurt their feelings if they heard you.”

He turned around and gave her his “how can you be mad at me” smile. “Trust me. I wouldn't be the first to notice those guys are a little on the girly side.”

“We didn't come all the way over here to hang out with…other guys,” Declan said, just barely stopping himself from getting in trouble. “Where are the girls?”

“They'll be here. You'll be glad to know that most of Mia's friends are women.”

“The women aren't like Mia, are they?” Declan asked, looking concerned. “I mean, just in that one way.”

“Most of her friends are straight,” Jamie said, realizing that no matter how many times she reminded them, the boyos were never going to be very sensitive.

“I hope you just mean the girls. It's perfectly okay with us if all the guys are gay. As a matter of fact, we prefer it,” Conor said, flashing his charming grin again.

Jamie and Jordan stood on the back steps watching new arrivals enter from the driveway. “I like to see the look on girl's faces when they first get a look at the cousins,” Jordan said. “Every single one of them does a double take. It's hilarious.”

“Well, you've got to admit, it's pretty rare to see that many guys who are that big.”

“Not in Colorado Springs.” Jordan chuckled. “All of the guys seem tall, and the basketball team isn't even there.”

“Mia's been giving me a daily update since she's been here. Are things going as well as she says they are?”

“I guess, but it's really hard to say,” Jordan said thoughtfully. “There are three of us trying out for one position. The fact that I'm still there is good news, but it's not very reassuring. We're not certain when the next cut is going to be, so it's certainly not relaxing.”

“That's a heck of a lot of pressure to put on you guys.”

“Yeah, it is, but that's true for most of the sports. We're all just chasing a dream.”

“I think you'll make it,” Jamie said, looking up at her friend with an expression full of confidence.

“And I hope you're right.”

Catherine's plane touched down at San Francisco International at 10:30 p.m. The flight from Frankfurt had been uneventful, but Catherine had been traveling since morning in Milan, where it was now 6:30 a.m. She was not only tired, she felt a little achy, as though she were coming down with something. She attributed that to feeling mildly depressed about leaving Giacomo.

She was one of the first to disembark, and when she exited the jetway, she looked for one of the black suited men holding up a card with her name on it. Instead, she was both delighted and annoyed to see Conor, nattily attired in a blue and white checked shirt and dark gray slacks. She approached him and found herself kissing him lightly on both cheeks, then pulling away, slightly embarrassed. “Sorry for the European affectation. I'm so tired I've forgotten which continent I'm on.”

“I kind of like it. But to be honest, you don't look thrilled to see me.”

She touched his shoulder, hating that he could read her so easily. “It's not you. I'm just exhausted, and I was looking forward to collapsing in the back seat of a town car.”

He put his hand behind her elbow and started to guide her down the concourse toward baggage check. “No problem. My truck isn't as comfortable as a town car, but you don't have to talk. I'm always grouchy when I come back from Ireland, so I know how you feel.” He gave her his always charming smile, then continued to walk briskly, not saying another word.

She broke the silence after a few moments. “I'm not ever going to see the inside of another airport limousine, am I.” Her smile was sly, and the one he returned was equally so.

“No, I think those days are over. Jamie called the house yesterday to say she'd canceled your limo and asking which of us had time to come get you. I won.”

“I still think it's funny that Jim was so certain that Ryan was as much interested in our wealth as she was interested in Jamie. If anything, Jamie has become more of an O'Flaherty than Ryan has become an Evans.”

“The O'Flaherty brand is not easily diluted,” he agreed, eyes twinkling.

They reached the baggage area and Conor found a place for Catherine to sit. “What do your bags look like?”

“They're off-white,” she said. “Fabric-covered.”

“I'll wait by the carousel.” He was gone before she could stop him and she sat quietly, stretching her legs and rotating her ankles to get the stiffness out. The bags arrived and Conor retrieved them, then extended a hand to help her stand. When she put her hand in his, she was once again reminded of how remarkably large and strong his hands were. She felt a little like a child putting her hand in her father's. He led her out to the short term parking area and stowed her large suitcases in the extended cab of his truck.

While Conor was respecting her desire for quiet, Catherine found herself unable to honor her own request. “I trust that everyone is well?”

“They are.”

“I didn't hear from Jamie. Did her graduation ceremony go well?”

“It did.”

“Talk to me!” Catherine said, giggling in exasperation. “I can't treat you like a limousine driver.”

“Sure you can, if that's what you're in the mood for. It's fine with me.”

“Well, it's not with me. I've gotten a burst of energy and I feel like babbling. Do you mind?”

“Not a bit.” His smile was warm and generous. “Tell me about your luggage.”

“My luggage? What about it?”

“I've never seen luggage with fabric covers.”

“Oh. Those are to protect the leather. I prefer leather bags, and the covers make them look new longer.”

“But they're covered in canvas,” he pointed out. “No one can see the leather.”

“Well, you have a point.” She leaned back in her seat and giggled, exhaustion making her sound a little drunk.

“How was the trip?”

“It was great. The weather was fantastic, and I had a lot of time to relax and enjoy myself. I even got to spend the better part of the morning looking at one of my favorite paintings.”

Just giving a few details made her smile, thinking about how luxuriously decadent her time with Giacomo had been. She had every intention of stopping there, the place she would stop when Martin or even Jamie asked her about her trip, but there was something about Conor that resonated with her. She wasn't sure why, but she knew he understood her better than many people in her life. He was one of the few who had immediately sensed the part of her that wanted to break free, to refuse to follow the rules. Maybe it was because of his own refusal to follow the stereotype of the brawny carpenter, but, whatever the reason, she knew that he saw through her veneer of impeachable respectability. Conor hadn't yet commented, clearly waiting for her to continue, so she did.

“To be honest, it was one of the nicest trips I've ever had.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Because of Giacomo?”

“Yes, largely because of him.”

“What is it about the guy? Why do you like him so much?”

She sat quietly for a few moments, knowing that Conor wouldn't interrupt. He was a fantastic listener, and she briefly wondered if he had learned that from Ryan or if she had learned it from him. She forced her thoughts back onto Giacomo and said what she felt in her heart. “We like so many of the same things. I can't think of anything that truly appeals to me that Giacomo doesn't also like. It's lovely to spend time with someone who appreciates the same things in life that you do.”

There was so much more to say, but even though she felt comfortable with Conor, she didn't want to talk about the real lure of Giacomo. She felt silly telling Conor about Giacomo's charm and sex appeal, and she knew it would be inappropriate, regardless, so she stopped before she said anything indiscreet.

When it was clear she wasn't going to add anything, Conor said, “You said before that you were open to seeing other people. Is that still true?”

She could see the concern in his eyes and she knew that he, like most of the other people she loved, thought it was a very bad idea to keep seeing someone in Giacomo's situation. “There's only so much he can give me, Conor, so if I met someone who was fully available I'd definitely be interested.” She didn't feel the need to add that a new man would have a very high wall to scale to be Giacomo's equal.

By 11 o'clock the party was loud and the guests were loose. Colm, Niall, and Padraig had disappeared, and Declan was clearly trying to talk one young woman into something. Jamie saw them in the corner of the yard; the woman slowly shaking her head while Declan kept pointing at the driveway.

Most of the guests were dancing, and Jamie noted that Mia had talked Jordan into it. Jordan was graceful and elegant, but she didn't let go and dance the way Mia did. Jamie had seen them dance together before, but it had been to slow songs. Watching Jordan try to keep up with Mia was actually kind of funny. After a while, Jordan seemed to give up and she moved very little while Mia danced around her. One thing was clear: both of them looked truly happy to be with one another. Mia clearly had eyes only for Jordan, something that Jamie had never observed when Mia was dating men. Back then, Jamie had often caught Mia flirting with someone else while her date was in the bathroom. But not now. Now she seemed perfectly content, a fact that made Jamie very happy for both of them. Her only disappointment was that Ryan couldn't be at the celebration. She had talked to her briefly earlier in the evening, but she'd been rushing around to get things done and she hadn't gotten much emotional punch from their conversation. As if Ryan could hear her thoughts, her cell phone rang, and she almost squealed with delight when she saw Ryan's number. She dashed into the house to speak to her in private.

Jamie had been on the phone for quite a while when Jordan started up the stairs and tried to climb over her. Playfully, Jamie grabbed her leg and wouldn't let go. She held up the phone and said, “Say goodnight to Ryan.”

The athletes exchanged a few words, then Jordan handed the phone back. Jamie said goodnight to Ryan, then got up and followed Jordan into Mia's room. “Do you have everything you need?”

Jordan grinned. “I could use my girlfriend, but I don't think I'm gonna see her for quite a while.”

Jamie looked at her watch. “Probably not. I think I'm going to say goodnight and go to bed, too. Will you be able to sleep with the noise?”

“I have ear plugs. Do you want a pair? I have extra.”

“I probably need 'em, but I don't like them. I'll turn on some music to try to drown out Mia's hip-hop.”

“I'll leave another pair in the bathroom. Just come on in and get them if you need them.”

“Thanks.” Jamie gave her a quick hug and a goodnight kiss. “I'm glad you're home.”

“Not half as glad as I am.”

The abrupt absence of noise woke Jamie up. She looked at her clock and saw that it was just after three. Just to be safe, she thought it best to go downstairs and make sure there were no strangers passed out in the yard. Even though Mia seemed to be more mature, she wasn't very good at keeping track of her friends.

Jamie put on a pair of sweats and a T-shirt and went downstairs. There was no one in the house, and the backyard was empty as well. The place was a wreck, but she didn't mind. She had scheduled Maria Los for an extra day, and Jamie knew the place would be sparkling clean by tomorrow afternoon. She locked the deadbolt and was halfway upstairs when someone banged on the back door. Running back down, she heard Mia calling out, “You can't get rid of me that easily!”

Unlocking the bolt, Jamie said, “I thought you were already upstairs.”

“Sure, sure. That's what they all say.” She took Jamie by the hand and led her to the porch, where she sat down and tried to make Jamie join her. “Sit down and talk to me.”

“Talk? It's after three.”

“Is there a curfew?”

Laughing, Jamie said, “No, but if I don't get back to bed, I'll never be able to wake up later this morning.”

“Then we'll stay up.” Mia flashed a big smile. “Staying up isn't that hard, you just don't know the tricks.”

Jamie shrugged and sat down, putting her arm around Mia's shoulders. She tilted her head and the two of them sat there quietly, heads touching. “This is nice. It's so quiet.”

“This is the best time of the day,” Mia agreed. “A lot of people think I like to party, but that's just an excuse to be up at this hour.”

“You don't seem very drunk.”

Mia pinched her. “Nice thing to say. You're not as ugly as you used to be.”

Jamie giggled. “You know what I meant. You're usually crazy drunk after a big party.”

“Your little girl is growing up.” Mia reached into her pocket and pulled out a tube of lipstick. To Jamie's surprise, she pulled off the top and took out a joint. “Get high with me.”

“Get high? At 3 a.m.?”

“Best time of day. Trust me.”

Mia lit a match and took a deep hit. She passed it to Jamie who demurred. “You know Ryan doesn't like me to get high.”

“Ryan's not here,” Mia said blithely, exhaling a long stream of smoke.

“Did I promise her I wouldn't smoke anymore?”

“You mean that time when we were on vacation?”

“Yeah.”

“I have no idea. I was blazed.” She smiled serenely. “They had some good shit in the Bahamas.” She put the joint up to Jamie's lips, but Jamie shook her head.

“I can't remember if I promised I wouldn't do it, or if Ryan just lectured me about it.”

“Probably both,” Mia said dryly. “She can be a real buzz kill.”

Jamie bumped her shoulder. “She doesn't like drugs. She thinks they really screw with your brain.”

“Haven't you heard that we only use half of our brains? That gives us another half to screw up.”

“Who can argue with that logic?” Jamie sat quietly for a few seconds, then said, “I think Ryan just lectured me. She's not the type to forbid me to do something.” She took the joint and inhaled briefly to avoid coughing. “Wow,” she said as she blew it out. “That's not harsh at all.”

“Do you think I'd offer my best friend sticks and twigs?” Mia took another hit and Jamie followed suit. Then Mia carefully put the joint out. “Moderation is the key.” She got up and went into the kitchen, coming back with two cold beers. “We'll get drunkish and stonedish.”

“You're a very bad influence,” Jamie said, as they tapped their cans together.

“I bet your mom has been saying that since we were fourteen.”

“Not my mom. Elizabeth. My mom never said a bad word about you.” She giggled. “Elizabeth more than made up for it.”

“Here's to Liz.” Mia held up her beer. “A very perceptive woman.”

As much and she wanted to sleep in, Jordan had trained herself to be up at five. It took her a moment to get her bearings, and when she did she realized she was alone. Slipping into her clothes from the night before, she went into the hallway and heard music playing. Steeling herself for the worst, she was pleased to see only Jamie and Mia sitting on the floor of the living room.

“You two are up early,” she said as she walked down the stairs.

“Yea! Jordan's up. We've been dying to go get coffee, but Mia insisted we had to wait for you.”

“Okay. I'm game. But I think I'd better drive.”

“Why do you say that?” Jamie asked. “We're being moderate.”

“I can see that,” Jordan said, noting the beer cans and the small pile of discarded wrappers from various forms of junk food. “I'm just in the mood to drive.”

“I'm in the mood for love,” Mia moaned, collapsing bonelessly to the floor. “Let's skip coffee and go back to bed.”

Jamie got to her feet and tugged on Mia's hair until her friend sat up. “No way. You talked me into staying up all night, and now we're gonna stay up all day—together.”

Conor easily hefted both of Catherine's suitcases up the stairs to her house in Pacific Heights. As soon as Catherine put her hand on the knob, it opened to an anxious looking Marta.

“Oh! I didn't expect you so quickly!” Marta said.

“Marta,” Catherine said fondly, “you didn't have to wait up for me.”

Her concerned expression easily slid into a smile. “Then I will tell you the truth. I wasn't waiting for you. I was waiting for Jennie.”

Catherine and Conor entered the house, each of them receiving a hug. “Why are you waiting for Jennie?” Catherine asked.

“Didn't Jamie tell you? Jennie needed someplace quiet to study for her tests, and I knew you wouldn't mind if she came here.”

Catherine moved through the entryway and into her living room. She spent just a moment looking around, and she said, distractedly, “Of course I don't mind. She's welcome any time.” She took a quick look at her watch. “Do I have the right time? My watch says it's almost midnight.”

“That is right. That is why I am worried,” Marta said. “She's at a friend's house, studying, but I didn't ask for a telephone number.” She broke eye contact, and looked down at the floor. “It's been so long since we've had a young person in the house that I forgot the rules.”

“Don't worry about a thing,” Catherine assured her. “I'm sure Ryan knows Jennie's friends names and numbers.”

“Ryan's in Fresno with the softball team,” Conor said. “And I'm sure she's asleep. Maybe we should try Jamie.”

Catherine put her hand up to her face and briefly massaged her temples. “My brain thinks it's eight in the morning. I feel like I'm missing a lot.” She turned to Conor. “Why isn't Jamie with Ryan?”

“Because Mia's graduation's tomorrow.”

“Of course it is! I promised Jamie I'd pick her up to take her to the ceremony. Thank goodness you reminded me. I thought it was on Friday.”

“It is,” he said, giving her a puzzled look. “Tomorrow's Friday.”

“Oh, it is.” She looked confused.

“This was a ridiculously busy week, Catherine. Everybody's mixed up. I felt bad because nobody went to Fresno for Ryan's game. We all had to work, and Maeve had to watch Caitlin.”

Catherine shook her head. “I really shouldn't have left when I did. I missed Jamie's graduation and Ryan's big game.” She looked disgusted with herself, so Conor reached over and squeezed her shoulder.

“Nobody can show up for everything that Ryan's involved in. It's a full-time job keeping up with her. She really understands. And Jamie had a great graduation. Don't worry about it. Really.”

“I should have been here to look after Jennie.”

“Don't be silly,” he said. “You didn't know she was going to be here. To be honest, they shouldn't have asked Marta to watch her.”

“It was no trouble,” Marta insisted. “But I should have done a better job.”

The door opened and Jennie stood there, her pale eyes darting from one person to the next. She looked both happy and frightened, and for a second she didn't move. But when Catherine met her eyes and smiled at her, Jennie broke into a grin and dashed through the entryway to wrap her in a robust hug. “I'm so glad to see you!”

Catherine returned the affection, stroking Jennie's fair hair. “We were worried about you, dear. Marta had no idea how to reach you.”

She pulled away and the look she gave Marta was surprisingly guilty. “I don't have a cell phone or anything. We were studying and didn't notice what time it was.”

“How did you get home?” Catherine asked. “Did you get a ride?”

Her face brightened. “Yeah, I got a ride.”

“Good. It's not safe to walk around the city by yourself. If you ever need to, call a cab or a limo. I'll gladly pay for it.”

Jennie laughed as if Catherine had just told a hilarious story. “Okay. I'll call a limo.” She looked like she was going to have a fit of the giggles.

“I mean it, Jennie.”

“It's late,” Marta said. “We can talk about this tomorrow. You have a big test.” She patted Jennie on the back and the girl nodded her agreement. After hugging Catherine and Conor goodnight, she went upstairs with Marta.

“I never had to give Jamie a curfew,” Catherine said quietly.

Conor looked at the staircase, his eyes narrowed in thought. “I think Jennie needs a heck of a lot more supervision than Jamie ever did. And I don't think she's getting it.”

“I certainly don't mind having Jennie here, but I don't know what rules Sandy has for her at the group home. I wish Jamie or Ryan had made things clear to Marta. It's not very thoughtful to put the child here and expect Marta to know how to handle her. I wonder why they did that.”

“I don't know. The kid has a dozen babysitters; she just doesn't seem to have a home.”

Part Five

At 8 o'clock In the morning the doorbell buzzed and Jordan ran down the stairs to open it. The opened door found a wanly smiling Catherine in front of her, bearing a cardboard carrier filled with coffee cups. "I didn't know if you all needed a boost, but if you don't, I'll drink them."

Jordan took the carrier from her and leaned close to give her a kiss on the cheek. "I'm not drinking caffeine these days, but I'm sure that Jamie and Mia will take all of these that you have. We had a little graduation party last night," she said, smiling wryly.

"Really? Jamie didn't mention that you girls were having a party."

"I think it was a little last minute. All I know is that it was going strong when I went to bed."

Catherine smiled. "Since Ryan wasn't here to supervise I assume Jamie stayed up late."

Jamie came walking down the stairs as her mother said that. "I'm still up," she said, with a lopsided grin. "It's great to have you home again, Mom." She went to her mother and hugged her and kissed her on both cheeks. She turned her head towards Jordan while still hugging Catherine and said, "I'll give you $1000 for one of those cups of coffee."

Mia came down the stairs, a little more slowly than Jamie had. "I don't have that much money, but you can have anything I have Catherine. Anything."

“I have 4 large lattes. That is what you like, isn't it?"

"That's exactly what we like," Mia said. She went to Catherine and kissed her, then grabbed one of the coffees from Jordan. "Don't get in my way," she growled.

Jamie took one of the coffees too and took a big first sip. "Everything about this is perfect."

“I'll say," Mia agreed. "This is probably the best coffee I've ever had, Catherine."

"I didn't know such a simple gift would be so appreciated. I'll have to bring coffee each time I come."

"Timing is everything when it comes to coffee," Mia said. "I guess we'd better get rocking. I'm supposed to be there in 15 minutes."

"How are we going to do this?" Jamie asked, looking a little befuddled. "There won't be any place to park and we'll never get there if we walk."

"I have what I hope is a good solution," Catherine said. "I got in late last night and knew I wouldn't be up to traffic or deep thoughts this morning, so I called the service I use and got a limo for us. It's waiting outside."

"You have the best mom in the whole world," Mia said to Jamie. "She should get some sort of award."

Jamie went to Catherine and put her arm around her waist. "I have to agree with that."

It took longer than 15 minutes, but not having to park did save a great deal of time. Mia saw her parents and brother standing right where they had agreed to meet. As they approached she saw that her grandparents were absent. She was still a few feet away when she asked, "Where is everybody?"

She hugged Peter robustly, then did the same for each of her parents.

"It's just the three of us," Adam said. They all then spent a few minutes greeting one another, but Mia hadn't been put off so easily. "Why aren't my grandparents here?" She looked irritated, and Anna Maria almost immediately adopted an identical expression.

"It's too early in the day for them."

"Are you kidding? They're up at five. Why aren't they here?"

Adam tried to intercede. "It's a lot to ask of them, Mia. They came to your convocation and they had a nice party for you. We all thought that would be enough for them."

"Bullshit," Mia snapped. "Why aren't they here?"

Jordan went up to her and put her arm around her waist, giving her a quick squeeze.

“You're going to be late, honey." She spoke just loudly enough for only Mia to be able to hear her.

Mia looked like he wanted to fidget away from Jordan's grasp, but she stood there for a few moments and then said, "Okay. See you later." She leaned her head back and puckered up and Jordan placed a gentle kiss on her lips. With a final scowl at her mother and a quick wave for the rest of the group Mia took off for the area where the graduates were assembling.

Anna Lisa was still scowling. She said to Jordan, "Does she doubt everything you tell her?"

Jordan had obviously learned a few things about speaking to your girlfriend's parents. She just smiled and gave them a vague shrug, not commenting further.

The ceremony was fairly brief, and once it was over Mia's rooting section all gathered in one place. Jamie looked over and saw Juliet headed towards a man and a woman. The woman looked a lot like Juliet, and, just to be feisty, Jamie walked quickly over to them to speak. As soon as she did Juliet took off running, and she reached her parents side right as Jamie was saying, "It was a real pleasure being on the golf team with your daughter. Oh! Here she is now. I just wanted to compliment your parents on the fine job they've done in raising you," Jamie said, her facial expression not matching her words.

"Why did you run all the way over here?" Juliet's mother asked.

Three sets of eyes landed on Juliet who looked like she wanted to turn and run in the other direction. "I'm just excited," she said lamely.

"You shouldn't run in a crowd like this," her father said. "You could trip and break something."

He didn't give this warning as most parents would have. Jamie got the distinct impression he issued its only with concern for Juliet's golf game, not her person. She felt a little small for trying to trick the woman into thinking she was going to cause a scene, but, as Ryan reminded her, even though Juliet obviously had a strange family background the choices she made were her own responsibility.

When Jamie went back to her own group Jordan said, "I was a little surprised to see you talking to her."

Jamie said, "I saw her walking towards her parents and I just wanted to screw with her. Not a very noble gesture," she said, giggling unrepentantly.

"That's the girl on your team, isn't it?" Catherine asked "Isn't she the one that was with you when you broke your arm?"

"She's the one," Jamie said.

"You act like you dislike her," Catherine said. "I remember your introducing me to her, and I thought you were friends."

"I wanted to be friends with her, but it didn't work out," Jamie said, figuring the less said about Juliet, the better.

While they were waiting for Mia, Adam handed Jamie an envelope, and said, "Here's a little gift for you. It's not much," he warned, "but I talked to Mia, and it's what she suggested."

"Thank you, Mr. Christopher." Jamie turned to Annalisa and said, "And to you too, of course, Mrs. Christopher." She opened the envelope and saw a handwritten note saying that the Christophers' had made a donation in her name to the class gift. "Thanks very much," Jamie said, giving each of them a hug. "I really do appreciate this. I think it's nice for our class to leave its mark on the campus."

"It certainly didn't seem very personal to me," Annalisa said. "But Mia insisted that's what both of you wanted. I never know what will come out of her next," she said shaking her head. "She's a series of confounding gestures.”

Mia, who had been stopping to say hello to all of her many friends, finally reached them. "I stayed awake the whole time. Woo hoo!" she said, giggling. "Jamie and I pulled an all nighter," she said proudly.

"Our last act as students," Jamie said.

"But not the last time we stay up all night. We've got decades left of partying to do."

Adam said, "Why don't we all go to breakfast together?"

"Jordan and I can go, but Jamie and Catherine are going to Fresno to see Ryan play softball," Mia said. "Where are you guys parked?"

"It seems like miles from here," Adam said. "Actually, we might be closer to your house than we are to here. Why don't we meet you girls over there?"

"That sounds great. Catherine gave us a ride," she said not revealing exactly how they'd gotten to the ceremony.

All four of them rode back to the house, and after they'd idled in traffic for a few minutes Catherine reached into her large bag and pulled out an envelope addressed to Mia and Jordan. Mia wiggled her eyebrows a few times, saying, "I know you didn't give me a contribution to the class gift." She wrinkled up her nose "I can't believe my dad actually did that. I thought he'd add something a little personal."

"That's what I wanted," Jamie said. "And I'm sure it made it a lot easier on him."

"I want to call the alumni association and find out how much he gave," Mia said. “I bet it was a lot just to make sure he gave more than your dad did." She busied herself opening the envelope, and when she read the letter inside her eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped open. "Catherine, you can't do this!" She handed Jordan the letter, and when she read it she had the same reaction.

"It's not that big a gift," Catherine said. "And it's only for a few months."

"What did you do, Mom?"

"I know the girls are unhappy where they're living, and I found a nice place that's close to the Olympic training site that rents apartments on a monthly basis. It's fully furnished and has all of the amenities you'll need. You can get away from all of your roommates and have some time to yourself. I'm sure you'll need it, Jordan, as you get closer to the games."

"That's incredibly generous, Catherine," Jordan said, "but it's really not necessary. We're doing fine with our roommates."

"It's just a little something I wanted to do. It would really please me if you would accept."

Mia took Jordan's hand and looked up at her. "You don't want to break this poor woman's heart, do you, honey?" She batted her brown eyes seductively. "Things like this make Catherine happy."

Catherine laughed at Mia's antics but insisted, "It's true. I know how hard Jordan is working, and I know how difficult it must be for you to be in an apartment with strangers. I think you'd both be happier if you have a little space."

"We would definitely be happier," Jordan said. "It's just so generous."

"Nonsense. It's nothing compared to how I feel about both of you. Let's just say it's a contribution to our nation's Olympic effort.”

“You're quite a patriot, Catherine.” Mia grinned impishly. “That's what I like best about you.”

When they reached the house Jamie patted the soft leather seat. “I'll be sorry to see you go,” she said, laughing softly. “There's something sumptuously decadent about having someone drive you around.”

Catherine blew out an audible breath. “ Oh, I was hoping you'd think that. I'm not in any mood to rough it today, so I arranged for the driver to take us to Fresno and bring Ryan home with us. I have another car ready to take you back down to Fresno later tonight.”

“The whole way?” Jamie's eyebrows had risen to their full height. “Wouldn't it be cheaper to fly?”

“Yes, it is. But that's only if we flew commercial, and there isn't a flight that would get us there in time. I'm more than happy to charter a plane…”

Jamie reached across and grasped her mother's hand. “A limo seems moderate compared to a chartered plane. Ryan will only have a minor heart attack when she sees this.”

Jamie went upstairs to change clothes. Catherine stayed downstairs with Jordan to wait for Mia's parents, while Mia followed Jamie into her bedroom. “Your mom's gift was so friggin' cool!”

Smiling, Jamie went to her dresser and pulled out a pair of jeans. “Sometimes I forget how I used to live. Two years ago it would have seemed perfectly normal for me to think taking a limo to Fresno was the best idea. But I think it's kind of cute that my mom called riding in Ryan's car roughing it,” she admitted. “ Most people would think a Lexus SUV was pretty darned nice.”

“You aren't most people.” Mia lay down on the bed and crossed one leg over her raised knee. “I think it's nice that your mom goes along with the way you and Ryan like to do things. You can tell she really wants to hang with you guys.”

Jamie looked at her thoughtfully for a moment. “ I guess that's true. I don't think of it that way very often, but you're right. I had my grandpa as a moderating influence, but my mom didn't have that. Everyone in her family liked to use every convenience to make life more comfortable. My dad says he was always afraid to go to the bathroom at my mom's house for fear that one of the servants would come in with him.” She laughed briefly. “ It's good to remind myself of the little sacrifices she makes to spend time with us.”

Mia gave her an evil grin. “Take your camera with you to get a shot of Ryan's face when she sees that you're going home in a limo. That could be priceless.”

Once they were back in the car Jamie stretched out and yawned. “ Even if I were rested I wouldn't be able to stay awake in this car. You do know that, don't you?”

“Few people know that better than I,” Catherine said, fondly stroking Jamie's cheek. “I might have to join you in a nap. It seems like it takes me longer and longer to acclimate to travel. One of the many dubious benefits of aging, I suppose.”

“You haven't had much time to rest, Mom. What time did you get in last night?”

“It was late enough that I felt bad for having Conor come to the airport when he had to be at work this morning.”

“You know the rules. Once you're in the O'Flaherty network you can only take limousines to softball games.” She grinned impishly. “So tell me about your trip.” Jamie did her best to appear excited and interested.

“It was lovely. The weather was just fantastic and everything just…worked out well.”

Catherine looked to be a little ill at ease, and Jamie wanted to move on to another topic, but she tried to honor her pledge to normalize the topic of Giacomo. “ Did Giacomo enjoy the week?”

“ I should think so,” Catherine said, surprising Jamie when her cheeks turned pink. “He, or whomever he had make the plans, did an excellent job. We went to Capri for a few days and stayed in a lovely home with a fabulous pool.” She put her hand on top of Jamie's and said, “I just wish I hadn't been gone this particular week. I would have given anything to be with you at your graduation.”

Before the words were fully out Jamie could see her mother cringe and she knew they were both thinking the same thing. Catherine wanted to be with her, but she wanted to be with Giacomo more. Jamie reminded herself that she had urged her mom to keep her plans, but she had to admit that she was still surprised and hurt that Catherine had done so. But she didn't have any desire to share that feeling. “ The convocation was a lot more impressive. Although our speaker was good. We had Armistead Maupin.”

“Oh, how nice! I remember when he first started to write his column that became ‘Tales Of The City.' It's all anyone talked about.”

“That's pretty cool. You grew up in an interesting time.”

“Sometimes it was too interesting,” Catherine said, smiling coyly. “I assume Ryan is very excited about being in this tournament.”

“I think she is. She's a little concerned that her teammates aren't as positive as she thinks they should be, but that's not odd for her. She seemed very up after their win last night.”

“You missed her game?”

Jamie nodded. “Yeah, I had to. I would have given anything to be there…” She trailed off, hoping her mother didn't notice the color rising in her face. The truth was that Mia's event was more important to her than Ryan's was, but she hated to think of putting it in such stark terms.

“I'm sure Ryan understood,” Catherine said. “You two have had so many events the last few weeks you must be exhausted.”

“No, I'm exhausted because I stayed up all night,” Jamie said, grinning sheepishly. “Mia and I start talking and before you know it…”

“I'm very glad you have her. I didn't have anyone like Mia when I was your age. I think more of my friends were like Juliet,” she said, her smile looking a little sad.

“What do you mean?”

“My friends were more topical. You know, sorority sisters and the like. More like acquaintances.”

“Yeah, Juliet is definitely an acquaintance.”

“Is she gay?”

Jamie blinked in surprise. “ I don't think you've ever asked me that about anyone.”

“I didn't mean to intrude. I just assumed she was, and I wanted to see how my skills were at guessing.”

Jamie laughed, shaking her head. “Your skills are good. Juliet doesn't want to be gay, but gay she is.”

Traffic slowed as they neared Fresno, and Jamie slowly woke. “I'm a fascinating travel companion, aren't I?” she asked, making a face. Her neck was stiff and one of her arms felt like it had been at an odd angle the whole way.

“You've been the perfect companion. I woke up about five minutes ago.” Catherine yawned, covering her mouth with her hand. “I feel like I've been awake for three days.”

“It's awfully nice of you to come down here with me, Mom. I know you'd rather be home in bed.”

“Not true. I might not have made it to Mia's graduation, much as I love her, if I'd known I'd be this jet lagged, but seeing Ryan's big game means a lot to me.”

“It means a lot to her, too, even though she wouldn't say a word if no one came.”

“You're both generous women.” Catherine reached across the seat and captured Jamie's hand, caressing the back of it with her thumb. “I have to apologize again for missing your graduation. I...put myself first and that's something I've been trying not to do.”

“You don't do that!” Jamie's voice rose in astonishment. “You're remarkably generous with your time.”

“That's not true. I wish it were, but it's not. I don't want this to sound like I'm blaming her, because I'm not. But I've had to teach myself how to be a parent. My poor mother truly didn't know the first thing about it. I've been trying since we've had our rapprochement, but I slid back into a old habit, and I wish I hadn't.”

“What habit, Mom?”

“The habit of pleasing myself at your expense. I've told you that one of the factors that created the distance between us was my idiotic decision to go to Europe when you were a baby. And now...” she struggled to stop tears from falling, “I've done the exact same thing.”

Scooting across the seat, Jamie wrapped her mother in her arms. “That's not true. Not true at all. I'm an adult now, and I don't need for you to prove your love every minute. Yes, I would have preferred to have you here. I won't lie about that. But you were here for the more important ceremony. And I know that you would have cancelled your trip if I'd even hinted that I was unhappy you were going.” She pulled away and showed a full, rich smile. “I mean it, Mom.”

“I love you,” Catherine said, her eyes red and damp. “You're such a loving person.”

“So are you. And I really appreciated that you sent Elizabeth as a stand-in. It was nice to have her.”

Catherine's expression changed in the blink of an eye. She looked positively horrified. “A stand-in? Is that what...”

“I don't mean that I think of her and you as...”

“Oh, Jamie, I didn't send Elizabeth for you. I sent her for herself.”

“Herself?”

“Yes. She's been very down since the carjacking. She's written to me a number of times, asking how she can persuade you to forgive her.”

“What? Why didn't you tell me that?”

“Because you had too much on your plate, sweetheart. I didn't want to add another thing you had to worry about. Besides,” she added, a half smile on her face, “I thought it was good for her to examine her actions and decide that having a relationship with you was worth putting aside her prejudices.”

“You...were behind her...?”

“Behind her what?”

“Her transformation! I've been trying to convince myself she was the same woman!” Jamie started to laugh, and soon she found herself doubled over. “My God, I couldn't understand why she acted like she was eating lemons most of the time, but didn't criticize me once!”

Catherine smiled, but she didn't share Jamie's laughter. “I wouldn't have allowed her near you if she hadn't vowed to be supportive. I'm sure she kept her word, but I'd be surprised if she seemed comfortable.”

“Oh, she was a long way from comfortable, that's for sure. But she was very nice to Ryan, and she seemed genuinely happy to see me.” She leaned over and kissed her mother's cheek. “That was very nice of you.”

“It doesn't seem right to have hired her to play such an important role in your life and then cut her off because you're an adult. I know she loves you, honey, and I wanted her to be able to tell you that.”

“I love her, too. She's not quite like family, but she's close. I'm really glad she got to spend some time with me, and not feel like I was angry with her.”

“So you sorted that all out?”

“Yeah, I think we did. But I told her we were getting married and she didn't say she'd kill for an invitation.” Jamie's smile was devilish and Catherine's looked much the same.

The limousine pulled onto the Fresno State campus at around 1:30. Jamie had taken the time to find and print off a map of the campus and she directed the driver to the proper spot. The game had been scheduled to start at noon, and she was afraid they would miss most, if not all of it. But as she and Catherine hustled across an open area next to the softball stadium she caught a glimpse of the scoreboard and saw that it was just the third inning. “They must've started late,” she said.

Ryan had dutifully left tickets for them, and they managed their way up to the stands, but were unable to find anywhere to sit. It seemed as though everyone in town was at the game, and after futilely trying to find a place to wedge in they went back down to the field level and found a space where they could stand. Cal was in the field, and Jamie was surprised to see a woman named Lisa catching. “I wonder where Julie is?” Jamie asked. “I don't think Lisa has played many innings. This doesn't seem like an ideal time to go with a substitute.” She took another careful look at the scoreboard. “It hasn't hurt them, though. They scored two runs in the first inning, and Fullerton hasn't scored.”

Catherine nodded, and Jamie fought the urge to laugh at her mother's obviously sincere attempt to look interested and involved. At most of the games they had attended Jennie had been with them, and Catherine could get by with daydreaming while the girl babbled details at them. Jamie thought of how many football, basketball, baseball and now volleyball and softball games her mother had attended in her life, and how few of them she would've gone to if she hadn't been such a good sport.

They'd only been standing there a few minutes when Ryan's dark head popped out of the dugout. Jamie saw her eyes narrow as her head slowly scanned the crowd. “Ryan's looking for us.” She and Catherine both raised their arms and waved and Ryan's eyes locked on them.

Her expression turned into a dazzling grin, and Catherine said rather wistfully, “Is there anything nicer than having someone look so happy to see you?”

She wanted to ask if Giacomo looked like that, but Jamie censored herself once again. They both waved enthusiastically at Ryan and Jamie blew her a kiss, which was quickly returned.

In the top of the fifth inning, Cal still led two to nothing. A Fullerton player nicked a foul ball, and Lisa, the catcher, reflexively stuck her hand up and yanked it back in pain. Ryan was sitting next to Coach Roberts, as she often did, and he bumped against her hard as he jumped to his feet, crying, “She better not be hurt!”

It didn't look like much of anything. Lisa wasn't writhing around in pain; she just shook her hand rapidly as she looked skyward. Just to be safe, Coach Roberts told the student trainer to go take a look at her. He grumbled aloud, “I don't think we even have third place on the depth chart at catcher.”

“Yeah, you do,” Ryan said. “Me.”

He turned and looked at her as though she were speaking gibberish. “ You? You're almost too tall to be a first baseman!”

She shrugged, looking unconcerned. “When the season started and they were filling out the depth chart I was the only other person on the team who'd ever caught.”

“How old were you? Six?”

“No. I've really never caught softball, but I used to catch all the time when I played baseball with my family.”

He rolled his eyes and turned back to the field, grumbling under his breath, “She better not be hurt.”

Ryan could hear the coach begin cursing as the student trainer led Lisa back to the bench. “Her index finger is jammed pretty bad,” the trainer said.

The coach looked down the bench and signaled to the senior athletic trainer. “Get down here and unjam this kid's finger!” he demanded. He and the two trainers along with all of the other coaches huddled around Lisa while Ryan went and dug through an equipment bag to find the mitt she'd bought with her own money after she'd volunteered to be third string. She asked Heather to help her warm up, and they took their places right in front of the dugout. By the time she and Heather had thrown the ball twice Coach Roberts was yelling at her. “Sit back down O'Flaherty. She's gonna be fine.”

Ryan wanted to ignore him, but she obeyed and sat back down. A couple of minutes later Lisa tried to play catch, but each time she threw the ball with any velocity it veered off in wild directions. “God damn it!” Coach said, probably far louder than he intended. “ I lose both catchers in the same game?” He let out a big sigh and turned to Ryan. “ We don't have all day O'Flaherty.” He made one last plea to the bench in general. “Has anybody else ever caught?”

Timidly, Jackie raised her hand. Coach Roberts looked at her 200 pound frame, closed his eyes and said, “We're waiting, O'Flaherty. Make sure you smile when some reporter wants to take a picture of the tallest woman to catch a softball game in the history of college sports.”

“Will do,” she said, grinning as she went back onto the field to warm up. “UCLA's catcher is almost my height, but I'm probably the only lefty,” she added, giggling when he winced and clapped his hand over his face.

“I had no idea she could catch,” Jamie said. “I mean, I assume she can do anything except fly, but she's never mentioned catching.”

“She seems a lot taller when she has all of that gear on,” Catherine said.

“I think that's because it doesn't fit her. That chest protector went down a lot further on Lisa. My sweetheart looks vulnerable. There's a lot of exposed belly there.”

“I'm sure she knows how to protect herself. She can't play with those boys for all of these years and not have learned that.”

“I'm sure that's true, but accidents happen and I'm fond of every inch.”

Ryan wasn't the ideal catcher. She was, in fact, too tall, so her body didn't naturally make a low barrier like the short, stocky prototype. But she was quick, and agile, and her long arms let her reach balls that a normal sized woman would never have been able to catch. She economized her movements, throwing the ball back to the pitcher while she stayed on her knees. But she looked graceful and calm as Jamie knew she would.

Jamie actually wasn't sure if the rather short umpire would be able to see over Ryan's head to call balls and strikes, but once the game began again she saw that the umpire just moved a bit to Ryan's right, and adjusted for the change.

They got through that half of the inning with no damage being done. Ryan was scheduled to bat third, and she stood past the end of the dugout to begin warming up. Her searching eyes found Jamie and she grinned as though she were the happiest woman on earth. “She's going to get a hit,” Jamie predicted. “When she has that confident look on her face there's no stopping her.”

“She used to look like that quite often when she was playing volleyball, but I haven't seen that expression very often this spring.”

“She hasn't played often enough to see any expression. I hate to see anyone get hurt, but, no matter how much she claims it doesn't bother her, it has to drive her crazy to sit on the bench.”

“Knowing Ryan, she won't waste an opportunity.”

The first batter hit a sharp single to right field, and Jamie was surprised when they immediately walked Jackie. Jamie looked at the scoreboard and saw that Jackie had been intentionally walked the last time she was at bat, also. Jackie was one of the best power hitters in the country, and she was a threat to hit a home run every time up. But it still seemed dangerous to Jamie to give a player a base when there were no outs.

Ryan strode up to the plate and went into her usual routine. She spit on her batting gloves, a practice Jamie found just short of revolting, rubbed her hands together, then gripped the bat, swinging it viciously a few times. Then she tapped the dirt from her cleats with the bat and stood in the batter's box. She adjusted her long body, shook her butt a few times, held the bat in proper position, wiggling it a little bit by clenching and unclenching her hands. When the pitcher went into her wind up the bat was still and poised. Ryan let the first two pitches go by, and both balls were out of her strike zone. Jamie swore that she saw Ryan's eyes grow wide at the next pitch, and she sliced it right over the second baseman's head. The runner on second scored easily, but Jackie was only able to lumber around second base, where she stayed. Ryan motored around first, then jogged back to the bag and clapped her hands together, letting out a “whoop” that Jamie could hear in the stands.

“She rocks,” Jamie said, clapping and cheering.

Soon, Cal had the bases loaded, but they were unable to capitalize and the inning ended with them leading three to nothing.

In the top of the 6th, Fullerton threatened when Stephanie walked the first batter. The pitcher looked flustered, but she righted herself and got the next batter out. Fullerton's cleanup hitter was up next and Jamie's stomach began to feel as though it were tied in knots. The batter was quickly behind in the count, but the pitcher made a mistake on next ball and she paid for it— with the pitch flying over the left-field fence. Just like that, Cal led by just one. Coach Roberts trudged to the mound and took the ball from Stephanie. The whole infield gathered around the mound, waiting for Heather to approach. “Ryan doesn't look as tall now,” Catherine commented.

Heather was not quite as tall as Ryan, but when she stood on the mound she looked imposing indeed. She hadn't been used much during the season, but Jamie had noticed that Coach Roberts seemed inclined to bring her in when they had a lead in late innings. Heather was still shy and she clearly didn't like to have a lot of attention focused on her in social situations. But she had matured as a player, and the pressure of a big game didn't seem to rattle her.

Ryan slapped Heather on the butt with her mitt and went back behind the plate. Jamie watched with rapt attention as Heather managed to strike out the next two batters on a total of six pitches. As soon as the last out was made, Ryan dashed out to the mound to give Heather a congratulatory swat, then led the players to the bench, looking like a proud parent.

Heather took the mound again in the seventh and final inning, and Jamie and Catherine watched the action as though their fortune were riding on the outcome. Luckily, Heather was up to the task, and Cal escaped with their second win. The players were exuberant in their celebratory hand slaps and hugs, and Jamie and Catherine shared a hug that was just as enthusiastic. “They've won two games!” Jamie exclaimed. “ I bet Ryan's absolutely giddy.”

Catherine pointed to the field, where Ryan had slung Heather over her shoulder and was carrying her to the locker room. “I think that's a safe bet.”

They met up with the victorious players just outside the locker room. Ryan was, as predicted, jubilant, and she wrapped Jamie in a rough hug. But she let go in just a second and gave Catherine a more gentle version. “We've missed you,” she said.

“And I've missed you.” She straightened her clothing when Ryan let go of her and said, “We nearly lost our voices yelling for you today. We had to make up for all of your usual fans who couldn't make it.”

“I could hear you a couple of times,” Ryan said. “Didn't Heather do a great job?”

“She really did,” Jamie agreed. “But she didn't drive in a run like my big slugger did.”

“Their pitcher was tiring,” Ryan said, sloughing it off. “I'm really glad you were both able to come. Are you able to stay for dinner?”

Jamie looked at her watch. “No, we've got to get going if we're going to make it back by seven.”

“Oh, right.” Ryan looked down and Jamie could see her lower lip stick out a little. “You're going to go to another one of my graduations.”

Jamie put an arm around her waist and said, “We are all going to go to another one of your graduations. We're going to drive like heck, and hopefully get there just in time. Then Mia and Jordan are going to come with me and we're all going to drive you back down tonight.” As Ryan's expression grew more stunned Jaime grasped her by the shoulders and shook her. “It's all set, baby!”

“Really? Are you sure it's okay?”

“I talked to Coach Roberts earlier in the week. He said it's fine as long as you're able to play tomorrow.”

“Oh, I'm able,” Ryan said, her smile luminous. “Let's rock!”

Jackie was the only other senior who hadn't yet had her departmental ceremony, but hers was the next night, so she declined their offer to come along. They went out to the front of the stadium and a big black car slowly pulled up in front of them. “No,” Ryan said, looking at Jamie and Catherine who both looked guilty. “ You didn't.”

“ We did,” Jamie said, slapping Ryan on the butt. “ You'd better get in before anyone sees you.” Ryan practically dove inside the car, muttering her disapproval as her compatriots entered.

It was about a three hour trip to Berkeley and Ryan was so high from the game that she barely paused in her recitation of every element of the event. Jamie was curled up against her, fast asleep, but Catherine soldiered on, raptly listening to her young daughter-in-law who was still flushed with happiness.

As they drew near Berkeley Ryan was fidgeting around in the back of the car acting like she had an itch she couldn't get to. Neither Catherine nor Jaime shared her nervous energy, but both of them envied it a little bit. “Aren't I young enough that I can still stay up all night and not have to pay for it?” Jamie asked.

“I sure can't,” Ryan said. “I used to think I did fine on five or six hours, but in retrospect I was fooling myself. Now that I get seven or eight I have a lot more energy.”

Catherine smiled. “I don't think there are enough hours in the day for me to sleep to have your energy.”

“I'm just excited,” Ryan admitted. “I don't understand people who don't want to go to graduation. Why would you skip a party given in your honor?”

“I didn't go to mine,” Catherine said. “Since I didn't graduate with my class it didn't have much impact on me.”

“Didn't your family want to throw you a party?” Ryan asked, regretting her question as soon as she saw the sad look on Catherine's face.

“My mother was gone then, and my father wasn't the type of man to organize something like that. I think it was a relief for Jim and me more than anything.”

Ryan recalled that Catherine had finished her degree after Jamie's birth. She wasn't sure it was appropriate, but she said what she felt. “ I would have had a party for you. And I would have had a little cap and gown made for Jamie. It would've been cool,” she said with her usual certitude.

Catherine's slightly melancholy expression turned into a full, rich smile. “I have no doubt about that, Ryan.”

They had just enough time to get Ryan showered and changed. By the time the car dropped them off on campus Ryan had to run to get to the area where the graduates were assembling. Jamie and Catherine went to look for Martin and Maeve, who were, as expected, in the first available row.

“I was sure you would miss it,” Martin said, his face lined with worry.

Jamie snuck a quick look at her watch and saw that they still had 20 minutes to spare, but she knew that to Martin that was the same as being late. “We made it,” she said. “But it was close. If the game had gone into extra innings we would have been toast. Especially because,” she added with dramatic flair, “Ryan not only played, she drove in what proved to be the winning run.” She beamed at the assembled group of Brendan, Maggie, Rory and Conor.

“Oh, for the love of Mike!” Martin cried. “The one game we can't get to and herself is the star. Was she desperately disappointed that we weren't there?”

“No, not at all. I honestly don't think she expects anyone to come to her games, even when they're local. Except for me, of course,” she added, smiling. “It's required for me.”

“We've always come to her events,” Martin said. “But she's not the type to complain.”

“This is true,” Jamie agreed. “But she's so happy today that I'm not sure she could be much happier. The team played really well, and you know that means everything to her. And her friend from volleyball, Heather, got the save. That was a big deal, too.”

“It sounds like a fantastic day,” Maeve said. “ I'm so glad you two were there for her. You must be tired from all that driving.”

Jamie snuck a quick look at her mother, then said, “It was surprisingly relaxing.”

The speaker at the molecular and cell biology department graduation was not nearly as entertaining as the speaker at Jamie's graduation had been. But that probably didn't explain why both Catherine and Jamie found themselves jerking awake several times during the speech. At one point Catherine leaned over and whispered, “If I promise to pinch you when you nod off will you do the same for me?”

Fighting the urge to giggle, Jamie said, “I will if I'm not asleep. No guarantees.”

When Ryan's name was announced her rooting section got to their feet and cheered lustily. “Did you get highest distinction?” Conor asked Jamie when they sat down.

“No,” she said glumly. “I got with distinction, which is only two levels below your brainy sister.”

“ I tell you, it's only math and stuff that she's good at.”

“ This isn't math,” Jamie said, dryly. “ That was the other night. This is biology.”

“Right. Right,” he nodded. “Well, math and biology.”

“I agree with you on one point. Some of the other subjects don't come as easily to her. But, even if it's something she isn't interested in, she works her tail off. She deserves highest distinction for effort alone.”

“They don't give awards for working hard,” Conor scoffed. “Nor should they. Why bother if you're not going to do your best?” Jamie snuck a look a him, seeing his strong jaw set just as his father's would have been if he'd said the same thing.

After the ceremony Ryan met the little crowd and let them make over her for a few minutes. Mia and Jordan ran up to them, holding hands and laughing. “That was the most boring speech in the history of…speech!” Mia said.

“Where were you two?” Jamie asked.

“We got here right on time, but it was so crowded we had to stand.” Mia giggled impishly. “Actually, we went into the corner and laid on the floor. I fell asleep.”

Ryan pinched her on the cheek. “Then how did you know the speech was boring?”

“I could just tell.” She stuck her tongue out like a child. “But I woke up when they called your name. Did you hear us yelling?”

“You know, I did. I heard my family up close, but there was a definite howl from the back of the room. That must've been you two.” She draped an arm around each woman. “Thanks for coming, guys. I know this was the most boring ceremony ever if you're not into biology.”

“We're into you,” Jordan said, kissing her cheek.

The videographer who had captured Jamie's ceremony on tape showed up once again and memorialized many permutations of poses with the graduate. Jamie and Catherine were standing to one side watching Ryan pose with her brothers. “It was so nice of you to arrange for this, Mom. It will be nice to have to bore our kids with.”

“If you catch them young enough, children find their parents fascinating.”

“I don't think there's an age limit to that. At least there isn't for me.”

After the videographer left, Ryan said, “I guess we've got to get back on the road.”

“I hate to see you girls have to drive that far.” Martin was scowling as he said this. “What time it is your game tomorrow?”

“ It's a night game. Seven thirty. I probably could have talked coach into letting me go down tomorrow, but I think the drive will tire me out and let me sleep. And if I get tired, Mia and Jordan are going to be with us. They can take over.” She wrinkled her nose at Mia. “They've had naps.”

“I should go with you. I can take a turn at the wheel.”

She put her arm around her father. “ Don't worry, Da, we'll be fine.”

“You're graduating from college, sweetheart, not from my care.” He hugged her tightly, and Jamie was certain he was on the verge of tears. “I'll never stop worrying about you.”

Ryan, Jamie, Jordan, Mia and Catherine met up with the limousine driver for the short trip back to the house. “ I hope nobody sees me get into this,” Ryan said.

“I think the coast is clear,” Jamie said, closing the door. “Besides, if anyone comments you can just say that Mom always has a driver.”

Giving an outraged look, Catherine said, “Why do I have to take the blame?”

“Not to put too fine a point on it, but it was your idea,” Jamie reminded her.

Looking at Ryan, Catherine said, “I arranged for a different driver to take you two back down to Fresno, but Jamie wouldn't hear of it.”

“Really?” Ryan asked suspiciously. She playfully poked Jamie several times. “You wouldn't hear of it?”

Giggling, Jamie admitted, “I knew you'd kill me. I'd much rather lounge around in the big back seat than drive.”

“At least you're honest,” Ryan said. “You know, I was really surprised that Jennie didn't want to come tonight.”

Jamie's eyes grew wide and she looked at her mother quickly. “Did you ask her?”

“No! I thought you had. Actually, I was so tired last night that it didn't occur to me.” She put her hand over her mouth, looking flustered. “ I feel terrible.”

Ryan looked thoughtful. “Jen isn't shy. If she wanted to come I think she would've called one of you. Maybe she forgot it was tonight.”

“That's possible,” Jamie said. “We didn't make any firm plans, but the other night I said I would see her at your graduation and she agreed.”

Ryan gave her a puzzled look. “Did you see her when you took Elizabeth to the airport?”

Jamie slunk down in her seat. “No. Elizabeth thought we were running late and she was already outside when I got there. Did I screw up?” she asked sheepishly. “You said you thought it could wait.”

“No, you didn't screw up,” Ryan said, patting her absently.

Jamie ran her hands through her hair. “I think I really screwed up. I should have gone to her school and picked her up that day. I could have had ten or fifteen minutes to talk to her.”

“That's not the way to get Jen to open up,” Ryan said. “You've got to spend time with her and let her talk when she's ready.” She met Jamie's eyes. “It's not your fault.”

“I'll talk with her when I get home,” Catherine said. “The poor child is staying at my house, I'm the one who should have made sure she got here.”

“No,” Ryan said. “I'm the one who's been dropping the ball. She's my little sister and I've been letting her down.”

“You're supposed to be her mentor, Ryan, not her mother,” Catherine said gently. “You're too young to be responsible for a high school student.”

“I might be too immature, but nobody made me take on more responsibility for her. I did that voluntarily, but I haven't done a very good job.”

“Yes, you have,” Catherine insisted. “You've done much more than anyone would expect of you.”

Ryan slumped down into her seat. “Anyone except Jennie.”

When Catherine got home, Marta came out of her room to greet her. “How did everything go?”

“It all went marvelously. Ryan's team won, and the graduation was lovely.”

Marta looked at the front door. “ Where's Jennie?”

Catherine gasped in surprise. “She's not home?”

“I thought that she was going to the graduation. Isn't that right?”

“Did she tell you that?” Catherine asked, looking at Marta intently.

“No, she didn't. She left the house just after you did this morning and she said goodbye as usual. I thought she was going to the graduation because Jamie said something about it the other night.”

“It's almost 10 o'clock,” Catherine said, her face pale. “Is there any chance she went back to the group home?”

“She didn't say anything about that. Her things are here. Why would she have done something like that?”

“I don't know, but she has to be somewhere.”

A half hour later, Jennie arrived, surprising Catherine, who was diligently searching the Internet for suggestions on how to locate a missing teenager. “Hi,” she said. “How was Ryan's graduation?”

“Jennie!” Catherine jumped to her feet and went to the girl, surprising her with a robust hug. “We've been worried sick about you.”

“ Me?” She asked, pointing at herself. “Why me?”

“ We didn't know where you were, and we didn't have any way to reach you. I've got to get you a cell phone.”

“ I don't need a cell phone,” she said, dropping her book bag to the floor. She was still wearing her school uniform, but she didn't look as crisp and neat as she had that morning after Marta had sent her off. “ I didn't know anyone would be looking for me.”

“Not looking for you?” Catherine put her hand on Jennie's cheek and pressed on it until the girl looked her in the eye. “ You're not even 15 years old. Of course we're concerned about you when we don't know where you are. Don't you know that?”

Jennie shuffled uncertainly. “Yeah, I know you guys like me and everything, but I knew you were gonna be gone all day so I didn't think it mattered.”

“You didn't think what mattered, honey?”

“ I didn't think it mattered if I went to one of my friend's houses after school.” She looked decidedly uncomfortable. “Ryan wasn't gonna be at the graduation...”

“We picked her up in Fresno after the game and brought her back. She was very pleased.”

Jennie looked like she was about to say something. Catherine noted that her skin turned pink and she seemed to forcibly stop herself from speaking. She took in a long breath. “I didn't know that.”

“How could you know, honey? I arranged for it after you went to bed.”

“Right.” Jennie nodded, her forehead wrinkled in thought. “I couldn't have known.”

Catherine put her hand on the girl's forehead. “Are you all right? You look very tired.”

“I'm fine. Just...I wish I'd known about Ryan being there. But...” she shrugged her narrow shoulders. “I couldn't have gotten there anyway.”

“That's my fault. I should have arranged to have a car pick you up.” She tried to make and keep eye contact. “Do you forgive me?”

Jennie smiled the almost-perplexed smile she often used. The one that seemed to say “Why do you care about me?” “It's not your job to look out for me.”

“I know it's not my job, but I still care. You know that by now, don't you?”

“ Sure. But I don't know who's supposed to be in charge, you know? Like at school everybody knows who the boss is. I'm not sure outside of school.”

Catherine nodded. “I think I do know, but we're going to get this all sorted out. Why don't you go up to bed, and I'll go tell Maria you're home.”

“I didn't mean to make anybody mad,” Jennie said, looking uncertain.

“No one is angry with you. Now go to bed and get some rest. You look as tired as I feel.”

Jennie nodded, then made her way to the guest room she'd been using. Catherine watched her leave, pondering her affect. There was something about her that didn't look right. Perhaps she was just tired, but she was usually a ball of energy. As she thought, it struck Catherine that Jennie hadn't asked about the game. She considered that the result might have been on the news, but the girl's lack of interest was odd and a little unsettling.

At midnight, Ryan was still driving and still chatting away, with Mia sitting next to her, listening. Mia's seat was reclined as far as she could get it, but her dark eyes were sharp and focused on Ryan. “Why do you think so many marriages end in divorce?”

Ryan blew a thin stream of air out, making her lips flutter. “There are probably as many reasons as there are marriages.” She was quiet for a moment and Mia could see that she was thinking. “Actually, I think most couples fight about four or five things. Money, kids, sex, and how they share household responsibilities. My guess is that most arguments center around one of those big things.”

“I think most marriages end because the people didn't know each other very well. I think people get married too soon, and for the wrong reasons.”

Ryan was intrigued by the seriousness of the topic, an unusual one for Mia to bring up. “What do you think are the right reasons?”

“Oh, they probably change depending on the couple. For me, I think the most important thing is having the same goals for the kind of life you want to live.”

“ I thought you would have said that having similar sex drives was most important.” Ryan turned just enough to be able to wink.

“That goes without saying. But I'm being serious. Jordan and I both want the same kind of life. We both want to be professionals, we both want to have enough time and money to travel, and we want to find some way to help other people— after we get everything we want, of course,” she added, giggling.

Ryan kept a straight face. “Of course. You've got to have your priorities straight. I think that's true for Jamie and me, too. I don't care much about travel, but Jamie loves it, so I'll have to be flexible enough to let her do what makes her happy. I think I want to raise more kids than Jamie does, but I think we can reach an accommodation on that, too.”

“I think kids are gonna be an issue for us, too. I definitely want to have a baby, but Jordan is certain she doesn't want to. I hope she'll change her mind after a while, since it would be a crime to waste those genes.”

Ryan smiled and nodded. “She's pretty special.” She was quiet for a minute, clearly thinking. “Jamie's not sure she wants to give birth, either. I wish I didn't have such an urge, since it's pretty selfish to add another body to the planet, but I don't think I can resist.”

“ Me either. I've always dreamed of having a baby. You and I can reproduce while our partners go out and support us.”

“That's a whole different issue. I want to have a baby, but I also want to work. I'm going to have to figure out how to raise a child and work at something that stimulates me.”

“If you figure that out, you could make a zillion dollars by selling your secret to all of the working mothers.”

“No, that wouldn't stimulate me,” Ryan said, looking completely serious. “Money doesn't motivate me that much. I think I need to do something in math or science. I just don't know what.”

They were about 10 minutes away from their hotel when Mia raised her seat and turned around. “Oh, isn't that cute? Jamie's got her head on Jordan's shoulder, and Jordan's resting hers against Jamie's. They'd make a cute couple,” she said thoughtfully.

Ryan's voice was playfully firm. “No, they most definitely would not.”

“Use your imagination. They'd be adorable. Wake up, sweetheart,” Mia said softly. Almost immediately, Jordan's eyes blinked a couple of times and she lifted her head.

“Are we there?”

“We are. If you start slapping Jamie now she should be awake by the time we get to the motel.”

Jamie's long nap had given her a second wind. After putting away their clothes and brushing her teeth she sat down at the desk and used a sheet of paper to write a note. When she was finished she went to the door and affixed it with the tape she always carried in her traveling bag.

Ryan had been watching her, but hadn't commented. Still brushing her teeth, she crossed over to the door and opened it, chuckling softly. After she finished in the bathroom she started to take off her clothes. “That note looks like the sort of thing my mother would've written for me…before I could write.”

“ I don't want your teammates to wake you up. You need your rest. Besides, it's a night game and you do better when you have fewer hours to kill before you play.”

Ryan flopped onto the bed and placed her hands behind her head, holding it up so she could watch Jamie. “This is all true.”

Jaime walked over to sit beside her, holding a card in her hand. Ryan could tell she had something important to say, because her face wore an expression that always reflected a serious topic afoot. “I have a little graduation present for you,” she said, handing the card to Ryan.

Lifting an eyebrow, Ryan took the card and shook it, trying, as always, to guess the gift before she opened it. “My gift fits in here? I hope it's not a check.”

Jamie pinched her hard on the cheek, making her wince. “When I start giving you a check for an important occasion it's time to break up.”

Eyes widening, Ryan said, “Then I doubly hope it's not a check!”

“You're so silly.” Fondly, she stroked the cheek she had just pinched. “Your silliness is one of your best qualities.”

“Good thing. I'd really hate to have to act serious all the time.” She blinked her eyes fetchingly. “But I would, if that's what you wanted.”

Dryly, Jamie said, “I'm sure that's true. Now open your card.”

Ryan shook it again. “ I only get a card? I'd think a woman with your kind of money could—”

Jamie fell on her, kissing her neck and tickling her in a frenzy. “Open your card!”

It took both hands, but Ryan swept Jamie across her body and placed her on the bed next to her. “You're making a big deal out of a little card,” she tsked, shaking her head. Her eyes were playful as she neatly ran her fingernail under the flap. Inside was one of Jamie's standard correspondence notes, dark blue lettering embossed on cream-colored paper. “You can buy nice graduation card for two bucks,” Ryan muttered, sneaking a sidelong look at her partner who smirked back at her.

She finally opened the note and read:

Our time together at Berkeley has been indescribably important to me. I wanted to leave a physical mark on campus to commemorate the mark you've left on my soul.

Ryan put the note over her heart and leaned over to kiss Jamie gently. “I feel the same way.”

“I know you do. That's why I knew you'd like what I did.” She pointed at the paper. “Read on.”

Sitting up straight, Ryan continued:

I still think about the time we spent after every class, and how desperately I looked forward to those few minutes. One of the nicest days was the first time we went down to Strawberry Creek. I remember feeling completely at peace being with you, and I think I started to fall in love that very day.

So, I arranged to have a bench placed right where we sat, and a plaque with our names and this inscription: The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed. Carl Jung.

You've transformed me, Ryan, and the chemistry between us is pure magic.

Love always,

Jamie

As expected, Ryan's blue eyes were damp with unshed tears when she looked up. She lifted the note to her lips and kissed it, then put it aside and kissed the writer. Jamie hugged her and whispered, “See how I got a science thing in there? Cool, huh?”

“The coolest,” Ryan said, shivering when the usual chemical reaction that occurred when their bodies touched swept through her.

Part Six 

At noon on Saturday Catherine finally gave in to Jennie's dogged but quiet entreaties, and they departed for Fresno. The game wasn't until 7:30, but Jennie insisted that the best parts of the experience were batting and fielding practice.

Catherine still felt jet lagged and slow, but when she saw how important this was to Jennie she decided to ignore her own need for sleep and quiet. When Jim had left for Washington he left his BMW in Catherine's care, asking her to merely start it occasionally. She'd been very lax in doing so, and she thought the car might enjoy a long outing. So she and Jennie got into the large, heavy sedan and she spent a few minutes getting reacquainted with the car and its plethora of switches and buttons.

“This would be a nice car to learn to drive in,” Catherine said, smiling over at the girl. “It's as sturdy as a tank.”

“My friends at school talk about driving all the time, but I don't care if I learn or not.” She shrugged her narrow shoulders amiably. “ I'll never have a car.”

Catherine decided not to correct her. She assumed that Jamie and Ryan would take care of teaching Jennie how to drive, but she didn't want to commit them. Instead, she said, “One never knows. It's probably best to learn.”

“ I guess.” Jennie was on the small side of her age group and she looked lost in the generous leather seat. Catherine noticed that her feet weren't on the floor, and she said, “there's a switch on your door that lets you adjust the seat any way you want.”

But Jennie just sat there, the way she often did when she was in a situation that wasn't part of her usual world. Catherine considered that the girl had trained herself to not expect too much. She often acted as though she expected Catherine, Jamie and even Ryan to disappear, and she was loath to get used to their way of life.

Catherine carefully backed the car out of the narrow garage and started off. After a few moments she said, “We were all concerned about you last night.”

“I'm really sorry. I thought you'd be gone…” Her voice was soft and she sounded unsure.

“ No, not because you were with your friends. We were concerned because we thought you were going to want to go to Ryan's graduation. Did we let you down, honey?”

“ Huh? Let me down? How would you do that?”

“We thought one of us should have made sure you had a ride if you wanted to go.”

“Nah, it didn't sound that interesting, especially since Ryan wasn't gonna be there. The other one was kind of boring, to tell you the truth.”

Catherine smiled at her. “ Graduation speakers don't tend to enthrall.” When Jennie didn't laugh Catherine discreetly said, “They're not very entertaining.”

“ Not even a little,” Jennie agreed. “ Are you sure nobody's mad at me?”

“Not a bit. We merely wanted to make sure you didn't feel left out.”

It took a few seconds for her to answer, but Jennie finally said, “No, I didn't. I'm just happy that you guys let me hang out with you.”

Surprised, Catherine's snuck a quick look at her. “ It's more than that. We all care for you. I was pleased to see that you were at my house when I got home from Italy. It was a very nice surprise, and I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to tell us you needed a place to study.”

Chortling, Jennie said, “I didn't ask if I could stay at your house. I'd never do that.”

“ Why not?”

“ I dunno. I just wouldn't.”

It was clear she wasn't going to elaborate. “Well, I hope it helped you. I can only imagine that it must be fairly noisy at your house, with all of those teenaged girls.”

“ It's okay.”

“ Maybe we should talk to Sandy and suggest having quiet time, especially during finals.”

“ No, no, you don't have to. It's fine.”

There's something about the way Jennie replied that piqued Catherine's curiosity. “ Why was it bad this time if it's usually fine?”

Jennie shifted around in the big seat and suddenly became interested in the seat adjustment buttons. She seemed very intent, making the little motor whir every time she moved the chair up or down an inch.

Once she was finished, Catherine asked her question again. “Why was it hard to study this time?”

“I dunno. It just was.” Jennie turned and gave her a childlike grin while shrugging her shoulders. Catherine hated the fact that she immediately sensed that Jennie was either lying or trying to evade the question by putting on the charm.

Unwilling to let it drop, Catherine was quiet for a few minutes while she negotiated her way onto the freeway. Jennie's posture had relaxed, and she was gazing out the window when Catherine said, “ If there's something going on at your house I want you to know that you can tell me about it. No matter what it is.” She paused to let this sink in, then said, “Something is wrong, isn't it.”

Jennie's narrow shoulders rose and fell, and she continued to stare out the window.

Her voice was soft and gentle, but it was clear Catherine was determined to get an answer. “Tell me what it is.”

“ It's no big deal. My roommate's kinda…” She seemed to search for a word. “Annoying.” Then she fell silent again.

“Tell me about her.”

“ She's stupid,” Jennie said. “You wouldn't be interested.”

“ Yes, I am. I'm very interested. Tell me how you two get along.”

“ We don't. I don't like her.”

There was a quiet fury about the girl that Catherine had never seen before. She was determined to get to the bottom of this, no matter how difficult Jennie made it.

“ Why do you dislike her?”

“ I dunno.” She crossed her arms over her chest, looking defensive. “She's like a big stupid ape.”

Catherine almost laughed at the description, but she could see how troubled Jennie was. “ How do you mean, dear?”

“ You know how apes are.” Jennie dropped her head and put her hands down by her knees and moved them back and forth slowly. “They're big and…stupid.”

“ But why does that make you dislike her? Can't you avoid her?”

It was clear Jennie was at her limit. Her voice was higher and louder than it had been. “ No, I can't. I've been trying to since the day she moved in.”

Catherine was quiet, watching a swirl of emotions pass across Jennie's youthful face. Finally, the girl spoke again. “We almost got grounded last week because Sandy thought we were fighting.”

“ And you weren't?”

“I couldn't fight her. She'd smush me like a bug. She's huge! I was just trying to get away from her.”

Catherine's alarm grew. “ What do you mean, ‘Get away from her'?”

Jennie shook her head roughly. “ It's no big deal. I can take care of myself.”

Catherine's slipped her hand off the wheel and put it gently on Jennie's shoulder. “ I know you can, but we'd like to help you. But we can't do much if we don't know what's happening. I'd really like it if you'd tell me exactly what has happened between you and this girl.”

Jennie met her eyes, and the hopeful innocence on the girl's face nearly made Catherine cry. “ Really? You really want to know?”

“ I really and truly want to know.”

Looking out the window again, Jennie slumped down a little lower in her seat. “ Like I said, she's like a big animal. She's bigger than Jamie, even though she's my age. Ever since she got there she's said she likes me, but…” She broke off, tightening her arms, seeming like she was hugging herself. “ I don't like her.”

“ Does she try to touch you, Jennie?”

“Kinda. But not… nothing real bad.” She looked up again, seeking understanding. “ You know what I mean?”

“ No, I don't think I do.”

“Like she comes into the room and puts her arms around me. When I tell her to let me go she throws me on the bed and falls on top of me. Then she stays there, and I can't get her off me.” She thumped the door hard with her fist. “It makes me so mad. She picks me up all the time, like she owns me. I hate it!”

“What else?” Catherine asked, being very careful to keep her tone neutral.

“ She watches me get dressed, and she's always telling me how cute I am, and how she wants to...” She shivered. “It's like a pervert's in your room. She's like a creepy guy, and she pisses me off!” Her cheeks were flushed and Catherine tried hard not to look as surprised as she felt.

“ Have you talked to Sandy about this?”

“ No. She doesn't do anything really bad. It sounds stupid when I say stuff.”

They had just crossed the Bay Bridge, and Catherine wasn't familiar with the neighborhood. Nonetheless, she put on her blinker and exited. Jennie was staring at her as she put the car in park. Catherine reached over and took Jennie's hand. The girl looked at their linked hands, and tentatively shifted her gaze to meet Catherine's.

“ Anything that upsets you. Anything that worries you. Anything that bothers you, bothers us. This is important, Jennie. Very important. I'm proud of you that you were able to figure out a temporary fix. But you don't have to do that. We're your friends and that's what friends do for one another. They help them when they need it.” She squeezed her hand firmly. “Do you believe me?”

“Yeah,” she said softly. “I do.” She looked away again. “ It's just that…what I said yesterday. I'm not always sure who's in charge.”

Catherine took in a breath, having to admit she wasn't sure who was in charge either. “ Well, for something at your house I suppose you should talk with Sandy first. But you should also talk with Ryan or Jamie or me. Especially if Sandy can't fix your problem.”

“ You guys are kinda on the bench, huh?”

Catherine was proud of herself for catching the softball allusion. “ Yes, we're on the bench, and you know how important the bench is.”

“If Ryan's on it, it's real important,” she said, her hero worship blatantly obvious.

On Saturday evening a Fresno ice cream parlor was filled with seven O'Flahertys, Jamie and Catherine, Jennie and four other players from the softball team. For the most part people were upbeat and having fun. Only one person seemed disconsolate and Ryan was sitting next to her trying to let her see the bright side. "It's not that big a deal, Jen. Each of us has one loss now, so Florida and Fresno State are in the same position we are.”

“With both you and Heather playing you would've won."

Ryan met Heather's eyes and they shared a smile. "I'm not sure that's true, even though Heather and I are an awesome due," Ryan teased, making Heather giggle. “We didn't have many opportunities today. I told you before the tournament that Fresno State is a very, very good team. For us to get past them is going to take a great game tomorrow."

"A great two games," Jennie reminded her. "You guys have to play two and Fresno only has to play one. That's not fair."

"Yes it is. We've all had to play the same number of games. We just have to play a pair tomorrow.

"They should make them play two tomorrow, too."

"That wouldn't be fair to them. There was one day that we played one game and they played two. That's just the way the schedule goes, and it's part of what you have to put up with in sports.”

“It's gonna kill me if you guys don't win," Jennie said, looking down at her mostly uneaten ice cream. "You've worked so hard."

"Everyone here has worked hard, including Florida and Fresno State. That's another thing you learn in team sports. You have to do it for more than just winning. You have to do it because you enjoy it." She looked over at Heather. "Isn't that right?"

"Yeah, but I really want to win," she said, smiling.

"Nobody wants to win more than I do," Ryan said, her eyes glittering with determination.

They went back to their hotel rooms, and Ryan, Jamie, Catherine and Jennie sat in Catherine's room rather absently watching the local news. Ryan looked as though something had just occurred to her, saying, "Now that school is over are you heading back home tomorrow night Jen?"

Catherine gave her a look that was hard to discern, but Ryan felt something odd. Some silent warning coming from her mother-in-law. Catherine said, "I haven't gotten a chance to visit with Jennie. We've been driving and watching softball games, but we haven't really talked. I'd like it if she could stay a while longer."

She looked at Ryan intently, and Ryan replied, "Okay. That's fine. I'll call Sandy tomorrow as soon as I get a chance and ask her if it's okay if Jen stays a bit longer. How long were you thinking of, a day or two?"

Catherine shook her head a tiny bit. “Could we make it open-ended?"

Ryan really wanted to know what was on Catherine's mind, but it was clear she didn't want to say anything with Jennie still in the room. “Sure. I don't think Sandy will mind. Since school's out it's hard for her to keep the girls busy anyway."

“It's after midnight," Catherine said. You should probably go get your bed ready, Jen. Are you sure you want to sleep on the floor in Heather's room? I'm more than happy to get you your own."

"No, I like sleeping with the guys."

Catherine couldn't help but smile at her. "All right, dear. You get going now and I'll come get you for breakfast in the morning. Sleep well."

Jennie got up and went to the door and nodded her goodbyes to everyone. After she walked out, Ryan said, "She's so upset about our loss today. I think having her get involved with the team was a mixed blessing."

"It won't be mixed if you guys don't pull it off tomorrow," Jamie said. She moved over to the bed and sat by Ryan and put her arm around her. "How's that for added pressure?"

“I thrive on pressure," Ryan said, grinning. She looked at Catherine and said, "You looked like you were trying to send me a very quiet message when I asked about Jennie."

"I didn't want to say anything while she was here, but we do need to discuss something. Things aren't going well at the group home."

It was almost 1 a.m. after they've finished discussing Jennie and her situation. "I'm sorry to keep you up so late," Catherine said. “We probably should have discussed this tomorrow.”

Ryan yawned noisily, then smiled and excused herself. "Tomorrow won't be any better. We've got two big games, and they'll take all day. I'm glad we talked about it tonight. I don't know what we're going to do about it, but I'm glad we talked about it."

Catherine got up and Jamie rose with her and put her arm around her shoulders, hugging her gently. "I'm glad you were able to figure out what was going on, Mom. Both Ryan and I have tried, but you're the one who got it done. Thanks."

“It was just because we were in the same car for such a long period. I didn't turn the radio on, so she had nothing to do except talk."

“Being with an adult in a closed car for a long time is one of the best ways to find out what's going on with a kid," Ryan said. “I've just been neglecting her so badly..." she trailed off.

Jamie released her mother and walked over to Ryan touching her on the cheek. "You're doing everything you can. Don't beat yourself up about it."

"When a kid relies on you have to make them the priority. I haven't done that with Jennie, and that's not something I can just brush off. She's not like a pet hamster."

“You wouldn't ignore a pet hamster, either," Jamie said fondly. "You're doing all that you can. You just have a lot of responsibilities."

"I know that. But Jennie should be at the top of my list, and she hasn't been.”

Part Seven 

Ryan hung up the phone on Sunday morning, looking at Jamie plaintively. "I love having my family here, and it's great to have your mom and Jennie and Mia and Jordan. But everybody looks to me to arrange everything." She sighed heavily. "How am I supposed to know where all of us can eat breakfast? Every time I've been to Fresno I've been on a team bus. I'm not a travel agent."

Jamie was fresh from the shower, and she sat down next to Ryan on the bed while rubbing her head with a towel to get some of the water out of her hair. " I know. It's a mixed blessing, isn't it?"

"It is. But I hate that it is," she said earnestly. "I want to enjoy having them here, but it adds more pressure."

" You've got a lot on your mind. I should've taken over from the start. You go take a shower and then hang out with your teammates. You need to be in a good mental space to play today, and wrangling this crowd isn't going to help you."

Ryan looked like a guilty child. "Could I really do that?"

" You can. Now get going." She leaned over and kissed Ryan quickly. " You have been resolved up all responsibilities… other than playing like a star."

Ryan kissed her back and gave her a firm hug. " It's great to be in a relationship," she said, giving Jamie such a happy smile that it warned her heart for hours.

After Ryan left Jamie got the phone book out and found that the only place they could all have breakfast was an IHOP just down the freeway. She called everyone and they agreed to meet in the lobby in 15 minutes. Jordan was the first to show up, and she signaled Jamie to join her in a darkened conference room. "We're supposed to go back this afternoon, but if Ryan wins the first game I want Mia to stay. Will you help me work on her?"

" Does she want to stay?"

" Yeah. A lot. But we planned on going home together and she hates to abandon me. Her term," Jordan added, smiling wryly. "She says she needs to go home and get ready to go to Amsterdam."

" Right," Jamie nodded, having forgotten the trip. " She's going with her mom, right?"

" Yeah. I leave Friday and she and her mom are coming over on the 29th."

"When is that? I hardly remember what month it is."

"A week from tomorrow. Knowing Mia, she'll throw some things in a bag while the cab is outside honking."

" Yeah, it is hard to imagine her spending a week getting ready for anything."

" She's extemporaneous," Jordan said, smiling the way she often did when she spoke of Mia.

The early afternoon game produced much more tension than it did runs. Florida looked far sharper than they had during their first game against Cal. They were tied at one for much of the game, but Cal squeezed out a run in the fourth inning that they managed to make stand up, winning the emotional game 2-1.

The final out had barely shown on the scoreboard when Jordan started to work on Mia. To her relief it didn't take much persuasion. Mia simply looked at Jamie and said, "Would Ryan like it if I stayed?"

" Yeah, she would," Jamie said honestly. She looked at Jordan. "She'd like it if you could stay, too. But I know you don't have any flexibility."

"If I listened to the gossip in Colorado I shouldn't have been here this long." Her eyes grew wide when she realized what she had said and she hurriedly added, "But I don't listen to it. It's all bull. Everything is cool."

Mia looked at her, anxiously scanning her features. "Are you sure?"

"Completely." She put her arms around her and hugged her, making a face at Jamie that looked like a little girl that had just escaped a lecture.

Between games, Jamie and Mia sat in the stands and watched Ryan and Jordan chatting on the field. "Aren't they cute together?" Mia asked. "Not cute like girlfriends. Just cute."

Jamie knew that Ryan was tense. The game against Fresno State was the most important one of her career. If they won, the team went to the College World Series. If they lost, they went home. But it wasn't just going home for Ryan. It was her last game as a collegiate. And no matter what she did for fun for the rest of her life, nothing would have the same panache as playing on a college team.

But as they watched Jordan and Ryan leaning on a fence while they chatted, no one could have guessed that she was anxious. There was a way the two athletes had of interacting that made both of them look both casual and very sure of themselves. Even at the beginning of their friendship, when Jamie wasn't sure whether she liked Jordan or not, she'd always thought that Jordan brought out some indescribable quality in Ryan. But even though she couldn't clearly state what it was, Jamie loved it. And she had a feeling that Mia was referring to just that quality when she said they were cute together.

Fresno State was taking batting practice and Ryan and Jordan stood near a short fence, watching them. They looked a little like a pair of cowboys picking out a horse at auction. If one had to guess, they would've been picked as the people in charge, even though they weren't. It wasn't just that they were taller than everyone else, either. They both had a maturity about the way they moved that made both of them seemed older than their years. There was also a cockiness that both of them had in excess. Jordan's usually only came out when she was playing a sport, but Ryan's was a near constant.

It was that cockiness that Jamie found so adorable in both her partner and their friend. She was sure it wasn't just happenstance that had Jordan wearing her USA volleyball T-shirt today. She was proud of herself and her accomplishments, and Jamie found that enviable.

Ryan often talked with her hands. But Jamie noted she didn't do that very often when she was with Jordan. Instead, she made subtle gestures with her head. A nod here, a slight incline there. It was as though they were both too cool to have to do anything too histrionic.

Jamie assumed they were talking about the upcoming game and Jordan's trip. But it was impossible to tell by looking them. They just looked like the supervisors who were out to make sure all the employees were working at full speed.

Ryan reached into her back pocket and pulled out a packet of pumpkin seeds. She pressed on the outside edges of the pack, opening and then extending it in Jordan's direction. "Want some?"

Jordan shook her head. "I'm not sure those are on my list. Besides, I've never played an outdoor sport, other than track, so I never learned how to spit the seed shells out."

"It's a skill," Ryan agreed. She tilted her head in the direction of third base. "That's her."

"The blonde?"

"No. She's a player. I'm talking about the coach."

"Really?" Jordan was quiet for a few seconds, then said, "I never would've guessed."

"Why? She was a lot of fun."

"Not to make an obvious point, but she looks like she's a whole lot of fun. She's a very big woman."

"She's stocky." Ryan narrowed her eyes, looking at the woman more carefully. "She's in better shape now than she was when I slept with her."

"She could easily stand to lose 30 pounds."

"Eh. That never mattered to me."

"Really? It matters to me. Not just because of looks, even though that's part of it. I just couldn't be with anybody who wasn't in shape."

Ryan smirked and uttered a low laugh. "Let's hope Mia never has an accident. You'd look like a real jerk for dropping her because she was in a wheelchair."

Jordan flicked Ryan's head with a finger. "Mia is grandfathered in. But I wouldn't like it if she stopped exercising voluntarily."

"It wouldn't bother me too much if Jamie stopped. I think she looks hotter with some extra weight, which she gains easily because she eats real meals now, but she doesn't like it."

"I don't know what Mia would look like if she stopped exercising, so maybe I'd better reserve judgment."

"She wasn't doing a thing when I first met her. I mean nothing." Ryan chuckled. "The first time we worked out together she was whining at doing reps with 2 pound weights."

Jordan smiled, looking very amused. "That's my girl. Was she chubby?"

Ryan shook her head forcefully. "No, not at all. She was way too skinny. So was Jamie. They were both skinny fat."

Jordan was quiet for almost a minute. Ryan continued to watch the pitcher very carefully. "Why didn't you ever hook up with Mia?" Jordan asked, her voice betraying no emotion.

A few pumpkin this seeds flew from Ryan's mouth, and she coughed a couple of times. "Damn, that came out of left field."

"Mia told me she asked you that, and that you evaded the question." She laughed softly, then a little louder when she got a look at Ryan's face. "She's interested," she said, shrugging.

"What about you? Are you interested? Mia tells me you don't ever ask her personal questions."

"I'm not interested in general, but it has crossed my mind. I think you two would have been drawn to each other, and I've wondered why it didn't happen."

Ryan put the bag up to her lips and tapped on the end of it making a few seeds fall into her mouth. Then she spent a few seconds neatly folding the bag up and putting it back in her pocket. She bit on a seed then spit a shell a good 5 feet. "I don't think I'd better answer that question."

Jordan poked Ryan with one of her sharp elbows, catching her right under her ribs. "Is my girlfriend the only woman you weren't attracted to?" She sounded a little upset, and it took Ryan a few seconds to answer.

"Why did this come up in the first place? And why did Mia tell you she asked me?"

"I'm not sure why she wants to know. Things just occur to her and she wants answers."

"Why did she tell you about it? Doesn't that make you jealous?"

Jordan's expression betrayed her puzzlement. "Why would something that happened before I knew either of you make me jealous?"

Shrugging, Ryan said, "I dunno. But Jamie wouldn't like it if I told her I was hot for Mia."

"So were you?" Jordan lightly punched Ryan in the shoulder. "Tell me."

"Look. Here's how it is. Jamie get jealous pretty easily. I've gotten in trouble already, and I don't want to repeat it."

"I'm certainly not going to tell Jamie. You and I have a lot of things we keep private."

Ryan nodded. "It's not that. I know I can trust you." She gave Jordan a half smile. "But I can't trust your girlfriend. She has no filter."

"You've got a good point. So I won't tell her. Now spill it."

"Okay." Ryan sighed. "Just between us, right?"

Jordan nodded.

Ryan started to tick her points off on her fingers. "One—I had no idea she was into women. Two—she had a steady boyfriend. Three—she was a client more than a friend. Four—I didn't realize it at the time, but there was only one woman in the house I was focused on."

"I don't believe you didn't realize that at the time, but whatever. You still didn't answer my question. Were you attracted to her?"

Ryan turned and regarded Jordan for a moment, a smirk firmly affixed to her face. "Have you looked at your girlfriend recently? I'm not going to do it, but I could start at the top and work my way down, pointing out all of the highlights."

"She's wonderful, isn't she?" Jordan asked, sounding as lovestruck as Ryan had ever heard her.

"Yeah, she is. I don't think either of us would have been interested in the other for a long-term girlfriend, but you'd have to be crazy not to be attracted to Mia. And I'm not crazy."

"Great. That makes sense."

Puzzled, Ryan said, "You look happy that I thought your girlfriend was hot."

"I am. You slept with almost every vaguely bisexual woman at Cal. It seemed like you thought Mia wasn't good enough for you."

Ryan laughed, shaking her head. "Mia was more than good enough for me. I just didn't let myself think of her in those terms. She was always off limits."

"Cool. That's settled." Jordan concentrated on the players again, and a few minutes passed in silence.

"Actually," Ryan said, reflectively. "I'm glad I didn't know Mia was into women because I'm sure I never would've had a shot at Jamie if I'd hit on her best friend. I'm not sure how I know this, but Jamie never would have forgiven me."

"Thank God I don't have that problem. I wouldn't know how to deal with jealously."

"I don't know how to, either. It's all trial and error, and I've made too many errors already."

Once Cal took the field for warm-ups, Jamie winced in sympathy when she saw her partner go down into a squat for the first time. She saw the slight hitch when Ryan tried to get up quickly and knew she must be in pain. When Ryan had woken up that morning Jamie could see how sore her thighs and hamstrings were. Ryan had grumbled a little about not having prepared properly, but Jamie didn't even bother to try to dissuade her from that ridiculous notion.

Jamie was quite sure Ryan had never squatted behind home plate before she was called in the other day. There was only so much preparation one woman could do, and Jamie was confident Ryan had gone far beyond what most of the other players did. But she knew that had almost no relevance for Ryan. She was the third string catcher and she should have been ready to catch at a moment's notice. That was her belief, and there was no convincing her otherwise. Luckily, by the time the game started she had worked the stiffness out and was moving fluidly and easily.

It was impossible to say why some games seemed preordained. But from the first pitch Jamie was confident that Cal was going to win. She hoped Ryan felt the same way, and she reminded herself to ask her later if that had been true. It must have been a vibe that was strong because Brendan also mentioned it, and Conor and Rory agreed. Only Martin reserved judgment, since he was, at heart, a pessimist.

It seemed as though Jennie took after him. She worried over every ball and every throw. Even though Cal scored two runs early and Fresno looked frustrated, as though they were pressing, Jennie was still sure that every base runner meant certain doom. At the end of the game, which Cal won two to nothing, Jennie looked as surprised as anyone in the stadium, including the highly ranked Fresno State Bulldogs.

"We won," she said, looking completely stunned then, louder, "We won!" She started jumping up and down, and before Jamie could stop her she ran down the aisle, shimmied over the fence and started running for the players, joyously jumping up and down around the pitcher's mound. Ryan caught sight of her and the security guard who was hot on her heels. She took off running, and pulled Jennie toward her, then turned to face the guard and tell him that Jennie was allowed on the field. Jamie and Catherine watched the whole scene, mouths agape.

"I don't think I could have stopped her if I'd tried," Catherine said.

"I know they're not related, but that's just the kind of thing Ryan would do. I guess that's why they're buddies." she beamed at her mother. "We're going to Omaha!"

"Oklahoma City," Brendan said. "Different state."

Even though Ryan wanted to drive home with Jamie, she knew that Jennie would get a charge out of riding on the team bus. So she kissed everyone goodbye and convinced Coach Roberts to let her young friend accompany her.

Ryan didn't walk in the front door until two a.m., finding Jamie asleep in the living room, a novel open on her belly. She crossed the room to wake her and was struck with the thought. Damn it! I didn't call Sandy today to ask if Jen could stay with Catherine for a while. Another promise broken!

Part Eight

Ryan finally woke at 10 a.m. on Monday morning. She was groggy and felt like there was grit in her eyes. Stumbling to the bathroom, she soaked her eyes with a warm cloth, then heard a loud noise coming from the kitchen. She went to the stairs and called out, “Is everything okay?”

Jamie's voice replied, “I think so. Don't worry.”

Ryan went back to the bathroom and heard another hissing noise that sounded like a radiator being bled. She rolled her eyes, figuring that Jamie was up to something unique. She took a long shower to get some of the stiffness out of her body, then put on shorts and a T-shirt then went downstairs to investigate.

Jamie and Mia were sitting on either side of a large stainless steel espresso machine. Jamie looked up. “Isn't it cool? My mom bought it for us in Milan.”

Ryan guardedly surveyed the machine. ”It looks complicated.”

“I think it is,” Mia agreed. “We thought you could figure it out,” she said smiling brightly at Ryan.

Nodding with interest, Ryan said, “Fine, fine. You two get out of the way and let the master work.” She picked up the large instruction manual and started trying to read it. “Who wrote this?”

“I think it would be easier if I read the Italian,” Jamie said. “Want me to translate for you?”

“It'd be a heck of a lot easier than trying to read this gibberish. What does it mean when it says to ‘turn the dial towards the sun'?”

“Clockwise, I think.”

“Oh, boy. You'd better translate—if you can.”

They sent Mia out for a pound of espresso beans while Jamie and Ryan worked together to figure the machine out.

“This does look like a lot of work doesn't it?” Jamie asked.

“Yeah, but we spend way too much buying espresso. This is a good investment.” She grinned mischievously. “Especially since we didn't pay anything for it.”

Mia returned with the beans and they used the matching grinder that Catherine had supplied. The two machines took up a third of their available counter space, but Jamie was very pleased with them. They made six test shots, and finally got the grind to the point where they all liked it. When they finally figured out how to steam the milk they succeeded in making a latte that wasn't quite as good as the ones that they bought, but was darned close.

Ryan was finally awake although a little disgruntled that it was eleven o'clock. She slapped both hands on the kitchen table and said, “Dammit! I promised myself I'd call Sandy the minute I got up!”

She went into the living room to use the phone. About five minutes later she came back into the kitchen, looking like she was about to burst. ”Something is up with Jen. Someone from school called and asked when she was going to make up her final exams. I had to listen to a long lecture from Sandy about how it's not a good idea to let Jenny skip exams and if I don't keep a hand on her she's not going to let her stay overnight anymore.” The fire in her eyes extinguished itself almost immediately and she sat down at the kitchen table running her hands through her hair several times. “What am I gonna do with that girl?”

“Do you think anyone is at school today?” Jamie asked.

“Umm, it's Monday. Even though finals are over I'm sure people are there.”

Ryan got up and went into the living room, with Jamie and Mia following close behind. She dialed and after a few transfers, Ryan was finally connected with her old friend, the principal. ”Hi, Sister. It's Ryan O'Flaherty.”

“Hello, Ryan. I was thinking about calling you.”

“Were you?” Ryan rolled her eyes knowing the axe was about to fall.

“I was. I understand that Jenny was sick for her last two finals. I was concerned though about how the situation was handled.”

Ryan was tempted to rat Jenny out, but she couldn't make herself do it. Instead, she said, “What exactly are you referring to?”

“This type of thing comes up frequently, especially for girls whose parents are divorced. Jenny's case is a little more difficult since we have to deal with not only her legal guardian, but with you and Jamie and also Jamie's mother. That's fine, on one level. But on another, we need to have one person who knows the full story. Mrs. Evans left a message on our machine early in the morning to tell us Jennie was ill, but when I called Sandy to verify, she wasn't aware that Jennie was even ill. The number Mrs. Evans left didn't seem to work, which is often a sign of trouble. I didn't worry too much, since I know all of you are working together to make sure Jennie is well supervised, but we still have to maintain our standards.”

“I can well imagine. I'm very sorry that happened, Sister. I was in Fresno, playing softball, and Catherine took over for a few days. I don't know what happened about the number. Let me give you her correct cell phone number for your records.”

“You're still playing softball? Isn't there an age limit?” Sister teased.

“There probably is, but no one has complained yet, so I'm gonna keep going.”

“Seriously Ryan, I don't have to stress to you that Jenny needs guidance. I've been very pleased with her academic progress this year. And she's fit in better socially than I thought she would. But, as she matures I think we all need to be careful that she stays on the good path.”

“I agree, Sister. I think were going to have to all get together and make sure that Jen isn't tossed around from house to house. I agree that's not good for her.”

“Very well. I just wanted to make sure we were all thinking the same way on this. When can she come in for her makeup tests?”

Ryan wanted to say she would be there in fifteen minutes but she checked herself and said, “Can I call you back later? I want to make sure of everyone's schedule.”

“Of course. Let me know, Ryan.”

Ryan hung up the phone and walked over to the sofa, draping herself along its length dramatically while she moaned, “I'm too young to have a teenager.”

“What happened?”

“She ditched school. I assume she went to Fresno and hid like a rat so I didn't see her. After we explicitly told her she wasn't allowed to go.”

“Ooo,” Mia said. “That's big time trouble.”

“Yep. Now she can't go to the World Series, and I have to be the ogre to break her heart.”

“What?” Jane squawked. “Ryan, you can't do that to her. She would jump off the Golden Gate Bridge.”

Ryan sat up, her expression unforgiving. ”She should have thought of that before. You can't ditch school.” She sat stock still for a few seconds. “How in the fuck did she get to Fresno?” She dropped her head in her hands. “Jenny, Jenny, Jenny.”

Even though it was the last thing she wanted to do, Ryan got on her motorcycle and rode to San Francisco. Jamie was tired, and Ryan eagerly let her off the hook. She wanted to think and being alone on her bike let her do that more than just about anything else.

When she reached Catherine's, Jenny and Catherine were just starting their lunch. Marta, as usual, took the opportunity to try to force some food on Ryan, who, for a change, accepted.

They were sitting there eating when Ryan said casually, “How did you get to Fresno on Thursday, Jen?”

Jenny's fork dropped from her frozen hand and all of the color leeched out of her face, ”What?”

“You understood the question. I'd like an answer.”

Catherine said. “Jenny wasn't in Fresno,” she looked at the girl, “were you?”

“Yeah, I was,” Jenny admitted, looking down guiltily.

“How did you get there?” Ryan looked like a judge right before she delivers a death sentence.

“I hitched.”

Nodding, Ryan said, “How about Friday?”

“Same thing.”

Ryan put her fork down and composed herself, staring at Jenny until she met her eyes. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

Surprisingly, Jenny started to cry. It was almost impossible to understand her, but Ryan picked out something about the fact that she wouldn't allow her to go and how much it meant to her.

“I understand that. I've had to give up some important things too, and I know it can be hard. But what you did is really, really bad. You lied about something very important. You forged Catherine's signature on your excuse slip, and you risked your life hitch-hiking.” Her voice grew quieter but intense, almost like a laser. “After all you've been through, you hitchhiked again.” She shook her head slowly. “That stuns me. It truly stuns me.”

“I didn't have any other way…”

Ryan gazed at her for another minute. “If I let myself, I could get very mad at you very fast. I think I need to take a time out.” She balled up her napkin and tossed it on the table, looking at Catherine when she said, “I'm sorry to be so rude, but I need to be alone for a while. I'll be back.”

She walked away with both Catherine and Jenny staring at her, both too stunned to speak.

She surprised herself by driving back to Berkeley. She found Jamie sitting in the back yard and sat down next to her. “It's all bad,” she said. “Not only am I going to prohibit her from going to the World Series, I have to think of something massively important to take away from her. I'm just not sure what that should be. Can you help me?”

“What happened?” Jamie asked.

“She lied, she hitchhiked, she skipped school, she skipped exams. How much else is there?”

Jamie squeezed her eyes shut. “She hitchhiked down there?”

“Yep. She was almost raped the last time she did that, and she did it again. I have to think of some way to get through her thick head that's unacceptable in any circumstance.”

“I agree, honey, but I can't see that stopping her from going to the World Series is the right way to do that.”

Ryan stood up. “She's gonna wish that was the only thing I did.” She turned and walked back into the house, leaving Jamie staring after her.

Mia went into the kitchen, and saw Ryan sitting there mumbling to herself. “What happened with the kid?”

“I'm trying to decide if I should kill her or torture her before I kill her.”

“Oh, you sound like my mother.”

Ryan leaned back in her chair and looked at Mia for a moment. “If you did something really bad and you knew you were going to get in trouble for it, why would you do it again?”

Mia sat down, grinning at her, “Is that a serious question?”

“Of course it is.”

“The answer just seems so obvious. You do it again because what you get out of doing it gives you more pleasure than the pain from the punishment. At my house I just got yelled at, and since my mom yelled at me every day, it didn't really matter.”

“Why did you ever do what you were supposed to do?”

“I had my own set of rules. I decided if something was right or wrong for me, given the situation. I didn't let my parents' opinions influence me much, though there were times I wish I had listened to them.”

“Do you have any idea how I can reach Jenny?”

“Oh, sure, she's easy.”

Ryan stared at her, waiting for the answer. “Today!” She slapped her hands on the table.

“Sorry, I didn't know you were in a rush. All you have to do with Jenny is tell her how disappointed you are in her.”

“That's all?”

“Yeah. Nothing else would have much impact.”

“I'd like to beat her,” Ryan grumbled.

“From what she's told me, her mom used to beat the hell out of her, and that didn't seem to do much good. I think she's the kind of kid who will be much more upset to think that you're not gonna want to see her any more.

“I'd never do that,” Ryan scoffed. “I might want to kill her, but I'd never stop seeing her.” She looked at Mia quizzically. “You really don't think that stopping her from going to the world series is an appropriate punishment?”

Mia shrugged. “It might make you feel better. But it won't stop her from doing the same thing in the future.”

“How do you know that? It just seems to go against anything I've ever learned to reward a kid for bad behavior.”

“I was grounded constantly. My parents took things away from me all the time. Important things. Once, I was supposed to go to Europe with Jamie and her parents, and my parents wouldn't let me go because I'd done something bad. I cried for days, when I wasn't sneaking out through my window to do exactly what I wanted.”

She smiled evilly, and Ryan counted her blessings that Jenny wasn't nearly as tough a specimen as Mia had been.

“She idolizes you. Being part of your life means everything to her. Anyone can see that. If she really understands how much she's worried you and how disappointed you are, it might make an impact.”

“But why won't it work to show her how disappointed I am in her and stop her from going to the series?”

“It might. My parents were never rational with me so I'm not the best judge of that.” She got up and went to the refrigerator and took out the soda that she'd come to the kitchen for originally. She patted Ryan on the shoulder as she exited. “Good luck.”

Ryan went back outside and found Jamie still sitting in her chair, but now her book was lying across one leg. “What are you thinking about?” Ryan asked.

Jamie turned a little in her chair and put her feet up under herself. “I'm thinking about Jen, obviously.”

Ryan sat down and waited for her partner to continue.

“Here's what I think. We've been on the periphery of Jen's life this whole year. We step in once in a while, then we step back out. Sandy has most of the day to day responsibilities. Every once in a while my mom gets involved. But there hasn't been one person giving Jenny realistic guidelines. She's never had that. I think you're looking at her behavior and comparing it to your own.”

Ryan interrupted, “No, I'm not. I'm asking for the bare minimum here.”

Jamie said, “You have to be using yourself as the standard. That's all you have to go on. When I compare her to how I was - she's like another life form. I would never have done a tenth of the things that Jenny has done in her life. But she did what she did and she got punished in a variety of ways, none of them effective. Until we can make sure she's getting a consistent message it seems unfair to take away something so important.” She looked at Ryan. “Does that make sense?”

Ryan thought about her points for several minutes, trying to let them sink in while she tried to open her senses and just feel the early summer sun and the quiet sounds of the neighborhood. She finally said, “I think that Jenny should have to stay home. I also think she should have a full-time job this summer.”

“What? She's only 14.”

“She's almost 15. That's plenty old enough. She's old enough to hitchhike to Fresno, she's old enough to work.”

“How will that help her?”

“She might learn how to be responsible.”

“I don't think that's a good idea. I think she should be able to go to the World Series and then you should talk to her and figure out an appropriate punishment.”

Ryan looked like she wanted to disagree, but she got up and said, “Will you go with me? I know you're tired, but I think you have a perspective that needs to be heard.”

Jamie smiled at her, got up and took her hand. “There's no place I'd rather be than with you.”

By the time they got back to Catherine's Jenny was in quite a state. She was in her room and it was clear she'd been crying much of the time they'd been gone. Ryan and Jamie went in together and Jenny looked up, fear in her eyes. When Ryan saw that emotion flash across her face she felt bad for the way she'd reacted earlier. There were so few people who had been constant in Jenny's life, and she wanted to be one of the people that the girl could always rely upon. She didn't need to be her best friend, but she didn't like seeing fear in her eyes.

Jamie spoke first. “ We've been talking about what happened, and what your punishment should be. What do you think?”

Jenny stared at her. ”What do I think?” she asked, her voice thin and almost breaking.

“Yes. What do you think your punishment should be?”

“I don't know. I guess you could whip me.”

“No,” Jamie whispered, trying to hold back tears. ”Nobody is ever going to hit you again.”

“If I have to go back to my mom…” she trailed off, looking like a puppy who'd been kicked.

“That's not going to happen,” Ryan said firmly. “Unless you want to go back.”

Jenny looked at her as if she were mad.

“You know how disappointed we are in you, don't you?” She held the girl's gaze, her heart almost breaking when she saw the deep shame in Jenny's eyes.

“We've been so proud of the progress you've made in school, and how hard you've worked. And doing something like this just…” Ryan took in a big breath and as she let it out she started to softly cry. “I don't know how to reach you. I love you, and it would kill me if anything happened to you while you were doing something so dangerous. You've promised me that you wouldn't do it again, but you did. How do I make an impression on you? How do I get you to listen to me?”

“I don't know,” Jenny said softly. “I'm just a bad kid.”

“No, you're not,” Jamie said fervently.

“You are not bad,” Ryan agreed. “But what you did is bad. There's a big difference. Do you get that?”

“I guess.” Jenny was looking at anything but Ryan's piercing blue eyes.

“If you were me, what would you make your punishment be?”

“I don't know. I just don't know.”

“What do you have planned for the summer?” Ryan asked. “Have you and Sandy talked about this?”

“Not much. I'm not old enough to get a work permit. Pebbles and I are the only two who don't have any plans. I guess I'm just supposed to hang out with her.”

“What was the hardest course for you this year?”

“Algebra. I'm no good at math.”

“Okay,” Ryan said, looking resolved. “How about this for your punishment. I think you have two sessions for summer school, right?”

Looking a little ill, Jenny nodded.

“Okay, in the first session you'll take algebra II and whatever else you want. Two classes should keep you busy, since they meet every day. In the second section you'll take another math course, and another class of your choice to keep busy. I'll help you with both of your math classes.”

It struck Ryan like a blow when Jenny gave her a very dubious look. “I mean it,” Ryan insisted. “I'm out of school, and I'm not going to be playing a sport. I'll make time for you, and I will make it my priority. I promise.”

“That's a pretty bad punishment,” Jenny said. “None of my friends are going to summer school.”

“Well, none of your friends are going to the College World Series, either.”

Ryan smiled at the delight that infused Jenny's face. The girl flung herself at Ryan and hugged her while babbling through her tears. “Thank you. You don't know what this means.”

But Ryan thought she did, and she shared a wan smile with Jamie as Jennie continued to weep.

After Jenny had finally calmed down, Ryan and Jamie went to find Catherine. She was in a second floor bedroom she was using as a library, symphonic music playing in the background while she stared out through the large windows. Ryan paused at the door, both to be polite and to spend a moment looking at Catherine's fantastic view of the bay.

Jamie walked in and put her hand on her mother's shoulder. "I think we're all squared away."

"How is Jenny?"

"She's fine. Actually, she's bouncing off the walls because we relented and are going to let her go to Omaha. Oklahoma City. Wherever the darned thing is.” She smiled as her mother's face filled with delight.

"I'm so glad you're going to let her go. I know she needs to learn how to be more mature, but the poor girl has been through so much."

Ryan walked into the room and sank down into one of Catherine's sumptuously comfortable armchairs. Her brow was furrowed, and she looked like she was going to make a comment, but first she shifted her weight around, making the down filled back conform to her body. Jamie could tell by the look on her face that whatever she was going to say had been replaced by the comfort she was now experiencing. She'd learned early on that Ryan was easily distracted by anything that gave her pleasure, and she'd used that weakness to her advantage many times.

"It wasn't an easy decision, Mom. I'm still not sure Ryan is convinced it's the right thing to do.”

The light seemed to go off over Ryan's head and she nodded vigorously. "I'm almost positive it was the wrong decision, but I decided to listen to Jamie and Mia."

Jamie looked at her quizzically. "What did you learn from Mia?"

"She said she didn't think that any kind of punishment would work well with Jenny."

"Is Mia really the best person to ask for child-rearing advice?" Jamie asked, smirking.

"Yeah. Really.” Ryan grew thoughtful and said, "I actually think she's a good person to go to for advice about teenagers. She knows every one of their tricks.”

"If I had known Mia as well then as I do now I never would have let her come over to play with Jamie," Catherine said, laughing.

"You had nothing to worry about, Mom. I think we were both attracted to each other because we were so different. She rarely tried to get me to do any of the crazy stuff she did, and I had no success in convincing her to spend the afternoon sitting in the sun and reading."

"You struck out with me there, too," Ryan said, smiling toothily.

"I'm still going to work on you. I'm sure there will be a time where you're too tired to do anything more laborious than read with me."

"I guess you could be right, but it hasn't happened.”

"That's just because you've been too busy."

"No, that's because I don't like to read."

“What! But... but I've seen you reading a thousand times!” Jamie looked like she was about to faint.

"I read what I have to read. I read for information. I just don't read for pleasure." She shrugged her shoulders. "Never have. Doesn't appeal to me."

"Well, this is a fine time to tell me that!” Jamie's face was flushed and she shot an annoyed look at her mother who was giggling at her. "I'm going to marry this woman.”

"It hasn't hurt you thus far," Catherine reminded her. "It doesn't surprise me a bit that Ryan doesn't like to read for pleasure. When they invent books that you can read while running or swimming she might take it up."

"How can I be partnered with someone who doesn't like to do the thing that I like to do more than anything?" Jamie moaned.

"Reading is a solitary thing. While you're doing your solitary thing, I'll do mine."

"You'd better confess to any other glaring deficiencies you possess. Not liking to read is huge, and it amazes me I don't know that about you."

"I'll tell you all of my deficiencies when you tell me all of yours," Ryan said, sparing a sly glance at her mother-in-law who was laughing once again.

"I don't have any," Jamie said primly. "Now let's get off this depressing topic and figure out our travel plans. Ryan is going to…somewhere that begins with an ‘O' tomorrow, Mom, but she doesn't play her first game until Thursday. I think I'll go on Thursday morning. I'm going to call Martin and see if he and Maeve want to go with me.”

"What about Jenny?" Catherine asked.

Ryan spoke up. "I could pay to have her go on the plane with us tomorrow, but I don't want her to be unsupervised. I guess she'll have to wait and go with you guys."

Jamie's eyes lit up with an idea. "I know! See if you can get two seats on the plane and we can send Ashley along with Jenny. I know she'd love to see you guys play, and I bet she wouldn't mind babysitting a little bit for a free trip."

"Thursday is fine for me," Catherine said. "Shall I have my travel agent make our reservations?"

"Let me get a head count," Jamie said. "I'll call you later tonight, Mom.”

"When will we return?"

"The championship game is Monday, so I guess Tuesday," Jamie said brightly.

"You might want to leave your return the open-ended unless you want to have to spend a couple of days in Oklahoma City watching people you don't know play softball," Ryan said, grinning. "I'm an optimist but..."

"I have every confidence in you, Ryan," Catherine said, “but I almost always leave my return open-ended. I'm addicted to flexibility."

"I've got to get going," Ryan said, standing up but looking longingly at the chair she was forced to abandon. "We're having a strategy meeting late this afternoon."

Catherine and Jamie exchanged looks, but only Jamie had the nerve to say, "There's strategy in softball?"

Part Nine 

It was almost 10 o'clock at night when Ryan finally had a moment alone to call Jamie on Wednesday. When the phone was picked up Jamie answered with uncharacteristic enthusiasm. “Hi!”

“Uhm…hi. You sound awfully perky. I could use a perkiness transfusion. Can you help me out?"

Jamie laughed. "I'm not really perky, I'm wired. My espresso is so good that I've been drinking more than usual. I think I had four today.”

Ryan whistled. "That's a whole lot for you. Why did you drink so much?"

"I was up really late reading this fantastic book by Isabel Allende. I didn't finish it so when I woke up early this morning I made myself get up so I could get back to work. I finally got really cranking at about 11, and now I'm wired to the teeth."

Chuckling, Ryan said, "Leave it to you to have a drug problem with caffeine.”

"I know. Lame, isn't it? Mia says she could get me something to make me sleep, but I think I'll decline.”

"I think moving to Colorado is the best thing Mia ever did. That's her best chance of staying out of prison.”

"Enough about me. Tell me all about your day."

"To tell you the truth, it sucked. It was media day, and a couple of stupid reporters kept trying to make me the story instead of Cal. It really ticked me off."

Focusing intently so she could determine if Ryan was being honest, Jamie said, "Did it bring any bad thoughts up?"

"Just for a couple of minutes." She paused, and Jamie heard a quiet noise that sounded like a tsking sound. “You know,” she finally said, "I must be pretty well healed. I just got irritated, and that was mostly because it's unfair to make a big deal about the third string catcher.”

"I'd love to give you a big wet kiss.”

"I'd love to get one.”

"I'm proud of you, honey. You've worked hard to get back to normal, and I think you're there.”

"I'm feeling pretty good. I don't mind traveling by myself… well, me and my 20 friends, I'm not having nightmares anymore, and I don't worry about you when we're apart. I'm not sure I'm 100%, but I'm a lot better than I was even a month ago."

"Our sex life is pretty darned good, too. Don't forget that important detail.”

"Oh, I won't. That's a big detail. It's been almost a week. I'm missing some sweet Jamie.”

"I'll be there tomorrow and you can have your fill. Actually, I want to make sure I have my fill, but you'll be taken care of as well."

Laughing softly, Ryan said, "That's one of your best traits. Your generosity. Now get to sleep or find a plane that comes here tonight. You might as well make use of your day."

On Thursday morning, Mia, Jamie and Catherine sat in uncomfortable seats at the airport waiting for their flight to be announced. Fueled by a pair of lattes at home and another one once they arrived, Mia was wide awake and playful.

"How many times have you been to Oklahoma, Catherine?"

"Counting today? Once," she said. "I might add that I have been on a plane that didn't have a first-class section." Her grin was teasing. "That was when I went to watch Jamie play golf earlier this year."

"I was kidding Jamie about that just the other day."

Looking slightly offended, Catherine said, "Do you often discuss my pampered lifestyle?"

"No," Mia said, smiling sunnily, seemingly unconcerned by Catherine's frown. "It doesn't come up very often."

Jamie put her arm around Mia and gave her a rough hug. "She was reminding me of how many sacrifices you've made to go to all of these events with us. Sometimes I forget that you weren't raised like I was, and I was practically carried around on a pillow."

"I'd hardly call flying to Oklahoma City to be with Ryan a sacrifice," Catherine said. "I think I'd consider it a gift." She looked very pleased with herself for the way she'd characterized their trip.

Mia patted her knee. "I still say you're a trooper, Catherine. Anytime you don't charter a plane, you're roughing it."

"You act as though I didn't try," Catherine said drolly. "But it seems such a waste of fuel for just the three of us. If I could have convinced any of the O'Flahertys to join us…”

"You might be able to get Martin on a private jet, but I'm fairly sure he'd have to be sedated," Jamie said.

"You wouldn't have any trouble with Conor," Mia said. "I'm not sure about Rory. He's harder to read."

"He is harder to read," Jamie said. "But I think he's more like Martin than Conor."

"Conor does seem unique among the clan," Catherine said.

"He's a good guy," Mia said. "He'd do anything for you in a pinch. When he grows up a little bit he might be the pick of the litter." She did a double take, seeing Jamie's narrowed eyes. "Of the boys. Only of the boys.”

"He seems very mature to me," Catherine said. "He actually seems more adult than Ryan, but I suppose he should since he's older.”

"Ryan's more playful," Mia agreed, "but she's also more mature. Trust me."

They arrived at their motel in the early afternoon and found a note from Ryan saying that the team was going to the Cowboy Hall of Fame in the morning and would go straight to the softball complex when they were finished. "When does the game start? Mia asked.

"Not until six," Jamie said. "When do you want to go over?"

"About 7:30,” she said, looking cherubic. “But I'll be ready whenever you want to go.”

"I could use a nap," Catherine said. "I feel like I'm still three or four time zones behind.”

"Okay," Jamie said. "Let's meet in the lobby at 5:30.”

“What do I do until then?" Mia asked. "Who's going to feed me?"

Jamie put her arm around her shoulders and led Mia toward the elevator. "You stick with me, kid. I know how to keep you happy.”

"She does," Mia said, grinning at Catherine. "She really does."

They were staying at an ordinary motel not far from the softball complex. Even though her mother had been a very good sport, Jamie was a little concerned about the quality of the place. During her travels with the golf team she had gotten used to the rough feel of 50 thread count sheets and the tiny towels that most motels used. But she doubted that her mother had stayed at a motel more than twice in her life. She knew that her mom wouldn't complain, that wasn't Catherine's style, and she was well aware that these inconveniences were very minor, but the issue was on her mind.

She put Catherine in the room furthest from the elevator and ice machine. Regrettably, it was on the highway side of the building. Jamie knocked on her door at 5:30, but there was no answer. Assuming that her mother had already headed for the lobby she walked down the staircase rather than waiting for the very slow elevator.

Neither Catherine nor Mia was in the lobby, and since there wasn't a bar she figured that Mia was still in her room, late as always. But Catherine was always prompt, so Jamie called her cell phone. Mia showed up while the phone was still ringing. Jamie hung up when it had gone to voicemail. "You didn't happen to see my mom did you?"

"Yeah, I flew here from San Francisco with her.”

"Always funny," Jamie said trying to keep the testiness from her voice. "She's not in her room and she's not answering the phone."

"Hmm. There's no bar…" Mia's brow scrunched in thought. “There's no way she'd be at the pool. Her Jacuzzi is bigger than that little thing, and I can't see her sucking the diesel exhaust from that constant stream of traffic.”

"It's not that bad."

"I didn't say it was bad. It's just not what she's used to.”

"Oh, and you are?”

Frowning, Mia said, "What's got you acting so snarky?”

"Sorry.” Jamie closed her eyes. "I've got a nasty headache. That beer we had at lunch wasn't a good idea. I think this heat is getting to me, too."

"The 50° temperature difference from home to here isn't as bad as that friggin' wind. It feels like it's blowing straight over from the Sahara. I didn't know there was sand in Oklahoma.”

Jamie chuckled despite the throbbing in her head. "I think that was dirt or grit. I know the wind was at least 30 miles an hour when we walked back from the restaurant. Do you remember reading The Grapes of Wrath in high school?" When Mia gave her a completely befuddled look, Jamie said, "The dust bowl… people moving across the country because the land wasn't arable anymore… does any of this ring a bell?”

“Nope. What's your point?"

Making a dismissive motion with her hand, Jamie said, "It's not important. I was just trying to make a point about how the dust blows across the plains."

"Fascinating," Mia said, straight-faced. "If we can't find your mom can we skip the game?"

"We'll find her. And if we don't, I have to go anyway, and I'm taking you with me.”

Once again Jamie knocked on the door to her mom's room. This time, she heard a faint, "Yes?" That was quickly followed by, "Oh, my." Catherine open the door, her hair mussed and her eyes glassy. "I didn't think I could fall asleep."

"I think you managed." Jamie took her by the shoulders, turned her around and marched her back to bed. "Lie back down and wake up when you're good and ready. You can call a cab to bring you over to the stadium."

Protesting very weakly, Catherine lay down and mumbled something before she started to breathe heavily. Jamie took a notepad and wrote the name of the complex down and assured her that if she didn't make the game it wasn't a big deal. Then she headed back to the lobby, hoping that Mia had stayed put.

At 10 o'clock that night, Ryan locked their door with a thud, crossed over to the bed and fell onto it face first. "I'm beat."

Jamie took aim and carefully draped herself on top of Ryan. "Me too."

"I feel like a heavy weight has been added to my burden.” Ryan laughed, making Jamie jiggle.

"It has. I've missed you, you know. Now I not only have to engulf my senses in your deliciousness, I also have to congratulate you on playing an excellent game."

Ryan's voice was breathy, and it was clear she couldn't take a deep breath. "You congratulated me already."

"Not in private," Jamie said, trying to sound seductive. "I want you to play just as well tomorrow, so I think I'd better give you a very nice reward for winning today. You know you do better when you have a goal."

"I'm not the kind of girl who refuses a reward, but I've got to tell you that seeing the faces of my teammates when we beat Oklahoma tonight was enough to keep me going for weeks." She put her hand on the bed and pushed herself over enough to dislodge Jamie gently. "Team sports rock.”

"Tell me the truth," Jamie said, lying on her side and gazing at Ryan's face. "Did you think you'd beat them?"

"No."

Pinching her, Jamie said, "Give me more than one word."

"No, I didn't." Ryan stuck her tongue out, and continued, "Oklahoma is really good. I thought our freshmen would be too tense to play well, so I thought we'd be going home tomorrow. But given that we beat them, I'm feeling really good about the next game.”

"Cool. I am too.”

"The weather report's pretty bad for tomorrow. I think there might be a lot of waiting around for rain delays." Ryan propped her head up with her hand. "Maybe you should send your mom and Mia to do something fun, and call them when and if we get to play."

"We'll see. Mom is really jetlagged, so she could use some extra rest."

"She hasn't looked quite right to me. She looked pale tonight."

"I'm sure she's fine. It always takes her a while to feel like herself after she's been to Europe, and she doesn't do well in the heat. Don't worry your pretty head about it.”

Ryan looked at the clock on the bedside. "I've got 12 hours until the bus leaves. Why don't you give me something to occupy my attention?” She batted her eyes, and smiled sweetly.

"First, we shower. I'm not sure which of us is dirtier."

Ryan reached over and slid her thumb across Jamie's forehead. "That wind really drives the red dirt into your skin, doesn't it? The weather here is so different from home that it doesn't seem like we're on the same planet."

"I know. When we have a windy day we usually get that moist air from the Pacific. Here, it was ridiculously humid, but the air still felt dry and gritty.”

"I don't think I could live anywhere where it got hot and humid like this. I need my cool, moist air."

"Given that you would only choose to live in San Francisco or Ireland, I think you're gonna get your wish.” Jamie rolled off the bed and got to her feet, and extended a hand to Ryan. "Come on, pigpen. Let me scrub that dust off of you, then check every place with my tongue.”

"I love having a girlfriend," Ryan said, her smile blissful.

Part Ten 

Jamie sat in the stands of the softball stadium on Saturday morning. She leaned back and met her mother's eyes, both of them smiling at each other behind Mia's back. Ashley was sitting on the bench in front of Mia, who was painstakingly braiding her hair.

"I don't really like having that many braids," Ashley complained.

"There's nothing else for me to do," Mia explained. "You're the only one with hair long enough to play with.”

"I wouldn't mind a nice manicure.”

"Do you have a manicure set?" Mia asked, her tone almost chiding. "I didn't think so," she said when Ashley shook her head. "Just sit still. This is going to look cute."

"How is it going to look cute when you don't have rubber bands? The braids will all fall apart."

"It's not my fault you didn't bring the right stuff.”

"But I didn't want…” Ashley trailed off, having learned that it was difficult to change Mia's mind when she had it set.

"What time is it in the Netherlands?" Jamie asked

"About four. Why?”

“Do you have a number for Jordan?"

"Of course. Why?"

Jamie took out her phone and handed it to her friend. "I know you haven't talked to Jordan all week. Call her before she has to play her game tonight.”

Mia looked at the phone with a mixture of delight and regret. "I can't use your phone, it's too expensive.”

“I want to know how Jordan is doing, too."

Mia snatched the phone from her hand before Jamie could change her mind. She pulled a piece of paper from her purse and started to dial. Ashley turned around and mouthed "Thank you," to Jamie who winked at her.

Fidgeting in her seat, Mia's face lit up when Jordan answered, "Hi, Jamie!"

"Do you always sound that excited when you think Jamie's calling you?”

“Even better. How are you?"

"I'm bored to tears. When Ryan finally plays it's fun, but we've been sitting in this oppressive heat for what seems like a week waiting for her game to start."

"I saw on the Internet that yesterday's game was rained out. Were you at the stadium all day?"

"I think we were here three days. Maybe four. But I want to talk about you. Tell me how much you love me."

"You know how much," Jordan said, chuckling.

"I never get tired of hearing you say it.”

"I love you more than I love anything in my life. I love you more than a basket full of Olympic medals. I love you—”

"I love you too," Mia said softly, turning her head to have a modicum of privacy. "I really miss you."

"I wish you were here, but we're playing so poorly that I'm kind of glad I don't have to be humiliated in front of you.”

"That bad?"

"That bad. Rumor has it that Amsterdam is really pretty. We get to see about 10 minutes of it when we're going from the hotel to the gym. I'm interested in Ryan. How's she doing?"

"She's doing great. I think this means a whole lot to her. I'm glad we got to come see her play."

"Who do they play today?"

"I don't know. Somebody or other. But she seemed pretty upbeat about it."

"We shouldn't stay on the phone long, baby. This is costing Jamie a mint.”

“I know," Mia sighed. “We just wanted to send you good vibes for tonight. Are you still in Amsterdam?"

"Rotterdam. Then on to Switzerland, where I'm going to meet my girlfriend. That will be the highlight of this trip, for sure. If you decide to come…”

"I'll write to you after the game tonight. How's that?"

"That's perfect. I've got to get going now. I love you."

"Me too, baby. Take care of yourselves until I get there.”

“Bye-bye.”

Mia clicked the off button and handed the phone back to Jamie. "She says they're having a terrible tournament, but she sounds happy. That's all that matters," she said, smiling.

Ryan was standing on third base in the sixth inning, dancing around the bag to try to distract the pitcher. "She looks so cute," Catherine said, not needing to identify whom she was speaking about.

"I think she's constantly cute, but when she's doing something that she enjoys so much her cuteness level does climb, doesn't it."

The batter hit a deep fly ball to the outfield, but the wind held it up and the right fielder caught it for the second out. Ryan tagged up and scored, easily beating the throw. The whole team ran out to congratulate her as they did for every run they scored. It was now three to one and Jamie felt some of the tension she'd been carrying in her stomach start to ease. "If they win this one…”

Catherine nodded. "We have to figure out a way to get Martin and the boys here."

"I love it when you can read my mind."

"It's not an arduous task, dear. You're always thinking of Ryan.”

That evening, Mia made the call she'd been dreading. "Hi, Mom. It's me."

"Hi! I'm almost finished packing.”

"Uhm… that's why I'm calling. I'm gonna have to delay for a day or two—”

"What?" Anna Lisa squawked, the decibels climbing. "What are you talking about?"

"I don't want to, but I feel like I should. The softball team won again today, and there's a chance they'll get to play for the championship. I just can't leave when Ryan's doing something that means so much to her.”

“Ryan? What about me? What about Jordan? I thought it was so important to be with her in Europe.”

"It is, but this is just a regular tournament for her. She wants to do well, but it doesn't really affect anything. And it's important for me to spend some time with you, but a day or two delay doesn't really hurt anything, does it?"

"I can't just change my plans. I got a very good airfare, and I got my favorite seat. If I had to make new reservations I'd probably have to be in the back.”

"Okay," Mia said. "You go ahead and go tomorrow. I'll come as soon as the match is over.”

"No! I don't want to go without you.”

"Mom, don't make this into such a big deal. I checked the flights, and there's plenty of room Sunday and Monday and Tuesday."

"I don't want to sit here waiting to decide which day I'm going. I like to make plans, and when I make plans I think of them as commitments. Something you clearly aren't familiar with.”

Holding her temper, Mia said, "I wouldn't do this if I didn't think it was important. I'm going to be here for Ryan, and you can either go ahead or wait a few days."

"I'll go ahead," Anna Lisa said coldly, "and I'll take Peter with me. He doesn't start his summer associate's job for another two weeks. I know he won't turn his nose up at such an opportunity.”

"Whatever. Have fun." She hung up and glared at the instrument for a full minute, then her anger ebbed and she allowed herself to feel the sadness that always threatened to overcome her when her mom unleashed her anger upon her. She started to cry, but then decided she didn't want to have her day ruined. She mumbled, “Fuck you,” at the phone and went down to Jamie's room to see if she could get anyone to go out to a movie.

Jamie was half asleep on Sunday morning when she heard Ryan quietly say goodbye and kiss her on the cheek. “Where are you going? What time is it?”

"It's 8:30. You go back to sleep. I'll be home by 10 and we can all have breakfast."

"Are you going to the airport?"

"No, baby," Ryan said, laughing. "I don't have a car, and my family isn't supposed to be here until around noon."

Jamie smacked her dry lips together. It looked like it was an effort, but she sat up. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to church."

"Church? I'll go with you."

"No, don't bother. I'm not even sure what kind of service it is. I was down in the lobby and somebody said the van was going to take people to services if they wanted to go. I just thought I'd go for fun."

"You were down in the lobby already?”

"Yep. Nervous energy," she said holding her hands up on either side of her face and making her fingers dance.

Jamie flopped back down onto the bed. "I don't have any of that," she mumbled. "Say hello to God for me.”

Ryan was just about to reply when she heard something like scratching coming from the door to Mia's room. “Yes?" She asked when she opened the door and Mia shuffled through.

"I had a bad dream." Her hair was a mess of askew curls, and her eyes were almost closed. "I heard you talking, so I knew you were up.” She lay down and snuggled up against Jamie, who dutifully put an arm around her. “We don't have to get up yet, do we?"

"Not for hours," Ryan said. "You two have a nice nap.”

"I'd rather have you," Jamie said, turning on her side to spoon up against Mia.

"I'd rather have Jordan," Mia countered. "But you're not bad.”

By 5 p.m. the rooting section consisted of Jamie, Catherine, Mia, Ashley, Jenny, Martin, Maeve, Brendan, Conor, and Rory. They'd all enjoyed an early dinner together, and Jamie was still smiling at the memory of her mother trying to find anything that suited her pallet on Denny's gigantic menu. Ryan had left for the softball complex at three, and Jamie had rarely seen her so energized and anticipatory. She didn't seem nervous in a traditional sense; more like she was anxious to get going and frustrated by the slow ticking of the clock.

Now that her rooting section was present and her team was on the field loosening up, Ryan looked practically joyous. She and Jackie were tossing the ball to one another just loosening up their shoulders, and Ryan was beaming a smile that could have lit up the park. "It's a small price to pay to see herself look so happy, isn't it?" Martin asked Jamie.

"I'm not sure how much your ticket was, but whatever it was I know it wouldn't be too much for me. Whether they win or lose, she's going to have great memories about today.”

To the obvious amazement of the Cal players, they somehow managed to beat the odds on favorite, Arizona, 1-0.

The team celebration lasted for hours, continuing on through dinner and a trip to a miniature golf course. They didn't get back to their room until after 10, and Jamie noticed that Ryan looked introspective and seemed quiet. Ryan was sitting at the desk, looking something up on their computer when Jamie went and stood behind her, gently massaging her shoulders. "You don't look as happy now and you did a couple of hours ago."

"I'm happy. I just don't like to linger on how I feel about today. I like to get in a good frame of mind for tomorrow."

"How do you do that?" She looked over Ryan's shoulder to peek at the document she was reviewing. She wasn't certain what it was, so she asked. "What are you looking at, anyway?"

"Same answer to both questions. I got to watch UCLA's game the other day while we were waiting to play. I made this chart of what pitch their pitcher throws in what situation. I want to really have this firmly in my mind so I can guess on her pitches."

"Do you think other people do things like this?”

“No idea. Don't care." Given her tone, and the fact that she hadn't turned around, Jamie decided to leave her partner alone. She got ready for bed and lay down, waiting for Ryan to join her. The next thing she knew it was morning, and although Ryan was gone, her side of the bed was still vaguely warm, reassuring Jamie that at some point during the night they had been in bed together.

Part Eleven

As one of the last two teams remaining playing in the championship round, the Cal softball team was allowed free access to the field. Batting practice was scheduled for 11:30, and the bus was scheduled for 10, but Ryan and a few of her fellow early birds were too hyper to wait for the rest of the team. They called for a cab at 9. There was no real reason to be at the field that early but there wasn't anything else productive to do, and Ryan hated to sit around waiting.

At the stadium, Ryan smiled as she went to the locker that held her uniform. Late the night before, the team had decided to wear their more traditional looking uniforms—after Ryan had begged for a good three minutes. She'd explained that since they were going to win, she didn't want them to look at their picture in years to come and realize how stupid their shorts made them look. Now, she happily pulled the alternate outfit from the hanger: snug pinstriped pants that stopped just below her knees; a short-sleeved, navy blue, mock turtleneck; and a sleeveless jersey that matched the pants. Long blue stirrups would cover thin white socks, and she wore hers so that a lot of the blue showed.

She took an inordinate amount of time getting dressed, totally ignoring the few other women in the locker room. She was almost embarrassed to admit how much she loved her uniform. It was as close as she'd ever come to a professional baseball uniform, and the part of her that had dreamed of being a major leaguer had never really died. She wouldn't have admitted it even to Jamie, but she thought she looked particularly cool when she was dressed and wearing her spikes, and she wanted to relish the last time she'd be wearing the entire ensemble.

Once she had donned her gear, she put the bag of Big League Chew bubble gum in her back pocket and checked herself out in the mirror. Way cool , she said to herself, squinting a little to look intimidating.

By the time she was ready, the team bus had arrived. She pulled her hair back into a ponytail, grabbed a glove, and went towards the dugout, calling out, “Wear your hair any way you want!”

She sniggered when she heard some of the women complaining about her decree. For reasons she didn't understand, women athletes seemed to like having matching hairstyles. She'd put up with that notion her whole life, but she wasn't going to buckle under today. Wearing her catcher's mask and helmet gave her a bad enough headache; having a bunch of braids wasn't going to happen if she had her way.

When she stepped from the dark dugout into the warm sun, no one was outside but the groundskeepers. She took in a deep breath, letting the sweet smell of cut grass, rich dirt, and spring wildflowers tickle her nose.

Even though softball wasn't her favorite sport, had Ryan been called upon to make a top ten list, the sport she was currently playing was always the one that she loved the best. Softball had a lot of elements she loved, and being outdoors was a big one. Luckily, the day was shaping up to be a beauty—warm, but not hot, low humidity, and a light wind. The best weather they'd had since they'd arrived.

Looking at the perfectly manicured field, she tried to fix the image in her memory. She would never again play in such a beautiful setting; she'd never play at this level of competition again; she'd never have such a cool uniform; and, most of all, she'd never again wear the big gold “C” on her chest, showing that she represented the school she'd always dreamed of attending. If she'd allowed herself, she would have misted up, but she didn't want to spend her last day as a collegiate athlete mulling over the past. She wanted to get warmed up and get busy kicking UCLA's ass.

She grabbed a softball from one of the equipment bags and started tossing it in the air, sending it higher and higher to test her reflexes and her ability to track the ball in the breeze. She'd run herself silly by the time Lupe joined her and tentatively asked, “Want to warm up?”

Ryan turned and saw the diminutive young woman gazing at her with wide eyes. Lupe looked like she might wet her pants if she didn't stay busy, so Ryan agreed. “Sure. Let's start slow.” She moved about fifteen feet away and tossed the ball softly back to Lupe.

They didn't chat but as they warmed up, Ryan could see that Lupe's nervousness was starting to ease. She'd observed that her teammate did very well when she was busy, reminding her of herself. A buzz of activity began around them as the TV technicians checked their connections and put wide plastic protectors over cables to prevent any players from tripping over them. Even those distractions didn't seem to bother Lupe. She seemed entirely focused on throwing the ball crisply and accurately, stepping back a few feet after every five or six throws to stretch her arm out.

Ryan took in the calm concentration on Lupe's face and began to get excited. If a young player like Lupe could play under this kind of pressure, she knew that they would give UCLA all they could handle.

The game was set to begin at 1 p.m. In Jamie's mind they had arrived ridiculously early, but when they got to the stadium at 11:30, Jenny was practically hyperventilating because they were so late. When they got great seats and were close enough to actually see Ryan's face, Jamie was glad they had come when they had.

Ryan caught sight of them and ran over to the fence to say hello. “Will you call the rest of the family and tell them to watch it on ESPN2?”

“The deuce?" Conor grumbled. “They've got you guys on the deuce? That's insulting.”

"Get over yourself," Ryan said. "I think it's cool they cover us at all. Make sure somebody records it for me.”

"I have to give you a kiss for good luck," Jamie said. "I can't do it through this screen.”

Smiling indulgently, Ryan said, "Meet me down by the end of the dugout.”

Jamie excused herself, with every member of the family teasing her as she went. She finally got down to where Ryan was waiting. “I didn't get to kiss you good-bye this morning.”

“I was up with the dawn, so I went down to the lobby and found a couple of other anxious teammates who'd beaten me there. I took them out for breakfast.”

“So your tummy is full?”

“Not now. I like it to be on the empty side when I play, especially when I'm going to have to haul my butt up and down out of a crouch a couple of hundred times.”

Jamie leaned over and gave Ryan a chaste, quick kiss. "I know you're gonna do great today.”

“I hope so. UCLA has more talent than we do, but I know one thing…" Her eyes were bright with intensity. “I'm gonna work my butt off to win.”

From the start, it was clear that both teams were tight. They didn't seem nervous...just tight. Each pitcher issued a walk in their half of the first inning, but neither team was able to score. There were a few mental mistakes on both sides, also, but none of them resulted in significant damage.

By the third inning, both pitchers had settled down and were mowing down batters one after another. By the fifth inning, Cal had managed three base runners, and UCLA six, but the game was still scoreless.

In the top of the seventh, the UCLA lead-off batter drew a walk, and the runner moved to second on a sacrifice. The next batter tagged a good pitch for a single to short center field. The centerfielder grabbed the ball and hurled it to Ryan, putting so much of her body into the throw that she almost took a header. Ryan was crouched down low, her feet bracketing mere inches to the side of the home plate as she waited for the ball.

The runner headed straight for Ryan, and the ball got there milliseconds before she did. Providentially, the runner slid to the same side as the throw. Ryan twisted, grabbed the ball, and slapped the runner across the foot. Her momentum knocked Ryan onto her back, but she gamely held her glove up to show the umpire that she still held the ball.

The stands erupted as the umpire dramatically called thumbed the runner out. She jumped to her feet and began arguing as the UCLA coach headed for home plate to fortify her objections.

"What's wrong with Ryan?" Jamie said, her voice rising in concern.

"It looks like her ankle or her foot," Martin said.

The spectators fell silent, everyone standing to watch the commotion at home plate; Ryan still hadn't gotten up.

Coach Roberts and Cal’s trainer were running out of the dugout to tend to her. Both Jamie and Jennie looked as though they were going to climb the fence and follow them, but Martin put his arm around Jamie's shoulders, holding her still.

The trainer was on her knees, and the UCLA coach and the umpire now shifted their attention to the Cal catcher who was writhing on the ground. “She hates to ever show she's hurt," Jamie said. “It must be bad.”

"I've seen her with a broken arm where she didn't make this much of a fuss," Conor said, wincing when his father rapped him on the back of the head for his comment.

"That's not helpful right now," Martin hissed.

The entire Cal team stood about ten feet away, watching anxiously as Ryan finally struggled to her feet with the help of her coach and the team trainer. She doubled over, pressing against her knees as she tried to steel herself against the severe pain. Slowly, cautiously, she tried to walk, limping and repeatedly bending over to grasp her knees again.

"She's obviously hurt too badly to play!" Jamie said. "Why don't they take her out?"

“They don't have any other catchers," Jennie piped up. "Remember? Jackie is the only other person who's ever caught an inning, and I think that was a long, long time ago.”

Every set of eyes drifted to Jackie, who outweighed Ryan by twenty-five pounds and was a good six inches shorter. Of everyone on the team, she was the one most vocally exhorting Ryan to hang in there.

Ryan stood up and squared her shoulders. Jamie could see her grit her teeth as she jogged a few steps and then tried to speed up to a run. Her motion was ungainly, but it was close to a run, and Ryan nodded, accepting claps on the back from the coach and the trainer.

"I can't believe they're going to let her play," Jamie complained. “Everybody knows she's too stubborn to come out voluntarily. What if she's torn a ligament? She could easily make it worse.”

Martin patted her gently. "I know it's hard, darlin', but you can't change her. All you can do is lecture her later–even though it won't do a darned bit of good.”

When Ryan took her position behind the plate again, it looked like she was going to cry when she had to get down into her crouch. She kept shaking her head like a horse refusing the bit, and she stayed down on the ground, rather than getting up after each pitch as she usually did. Mercifully, the next batter grounded out, and Ryan stayed right where she was until two of her teammates came and helped her stand.

The first two Cal batters grounded out, and Jamie mumbled under her breath as Ryan limped to the plate, "They could put somebody in to bat for her now. It's the bottom of the seventh, and she clearly can't hit.”

"There's no score," Jennie said. "They may go into extra innings, and she's going to have to catch until the game's over.”

"If she walks with a limp for the rest of her life…”

“You'll tell her that limps are very attractive,” Catherine said, making Jamie reluctantly smile reluctantly.

"That's true, but I won't like it.”

Ryan stood in the batter's box, looking unusually tentative. She held her hand up, asking the umpire for time to compose herself. “She should be batting right-handed against the lefty pitcher," Jennie said. "Why isn't she?"

"It’s her left foot that's hurt," Conor said. "Maybe she doesn't want to risk having it get hit by a wild pitch?” He looked puzzled. "That doesn't really make sense." He held his hands up. “I'm sure she's got a reason, but I can't guess what it is.”

They all watched avidly as Ryan settled into the box, a little off-balance in her stance. She usually bent over quite a bit to make the strike zone smaller, but now she was standing almost straight up. Even though she was clearly not at her peak, Ryan battled the pitcher doggedly. The first two pitches were called balls, but she swung at the next two and missed badly. She managed to stay alive by fouling off another five pitches before the pitcher threw a ball low and inside for a ball. The count was full, and Ryan had fouled off nine pitches in a row, each swing looking as though it caused her great pain. Finally, to the relief of her cheering section, she took a pitch that was low and away, just barely out of the strike zone. Limping down to first, she stood on the bag for a moment, then settled herself and took a short lead.

"That's three feet short of the lead she usually takes," Brendan said. "I hope she doesn't have to run.”

“Let's hope Jackie hits a home run, and then we can take your sister to the hospital.”

“Famous last words,” Martin said. “If I had a dollar for every time I'd said that…”

Jamie shot him a scowl and focused again on her partner. Ryan’s lead was short by her usual standards, and she didn't dance around the bag trying to distract the pitcher like she usually did. But she stared at the pitcher with her usual fierce intensity, and waited for the pitch.

Jackie had a healthy cut at the first pitch and fouled it off. “She's had some good cuts today," Brendan said. "She's looked better than anybody on the team."

"She leads the whole NCAAs in home runs and RBIs," Jennie said, not taking her eyes from the action for a second.

Her tone implied a “how could you not know that?” and Brendan made a face behind her back. Jamie winked at him, always charmed when Brendan showed his playful side.

“C'mon Jackie!” Jennie bellowed, loud enough to make their neighbors cover their ears.

The next pitch came in low and fast, but Jackie caught it with the barrel of her bat and blistered it deep against the right field wall. Ryan was off with the crack of the bat, running as fast as Jamie had ever seen her. As Ryan rounded third, the right fielder fired the ball in to the cutoff, the pitcher. She whirled and threw an ace to the catcher, and the ball got there at exactly the same moment as Ryan. The catcher tried to block the plate with her body as Ryan propelled herself headfirst toward the outside of the plate, managing to sneak her hand in and touch the corner as the catcher tumbled onto her, her weight landing on Ryan's hand.

As the umpire signaled and screamed, “Safe!” Ryan was on her feet, joyously jumping into the air. Her feet almost reached her butt as she leapt and stuck one long arm into the air exultantly. The crowd joined her, everyone yelling out their elation or their heartache. Her team swarmed her, slapping and hitting her so hard it looked like she was going through a human carwash. Coach Roberts wrapped his arm around Ryan's neck and thumped her head like a melon while everyone else slapped or patted some part of her anatomy as they jumped up and down as one.

Jamie hugged everyone, tears rolling down her face, until she realized with a start that Jennie was gone. She frantically looked around for her until Mia bumped her shoulder and pointed to the field, where the girl was engulfed in the clutches of the players. Soon she was riding on Ryan's shoulders, looking happier than any of the women who had just won the College World Series.

The wild celebration at home plate died down quickly, and each teams formed into a line and moved past one another, shaking hands and hugging. As soon as their display of good sportsmanship was over, however, the Cal players became jubilant again. They had moved almost as one to stand near their dugout, but Ryan peeled away from the group and she and Jennie lumbered over to the O'Flaherty fan club.

Scowling, Jamie demanded, "Why don't you look hurt?"

"Why did you bat left-handed?” Conor asked.

"Congratulations, love," Martin chimed in.

Ryan crouched down, then bent over. She patted Jennie on the leg and said, "The ride is over, buddy. Now that I can feel my limbs, I realize I'm beat.” She put her arm around Jennie, who stood at her side, looking up at her with a worshipful gaze. "We've got to go be interviewed, but as soon as we're done, I'll come let you all fawn over me.” She turned and jogged back to her teammates, her stride easy and graceful.

"Did she fake her injury?" Jamie asked.

"If she did, it was an epic performance." Mia glanced over at Conor, receiving a smile that conveyed his full agreement.

It took longer than half an hour for the press interviews to conclude. Ryan finally exited through the dugout again and waved at her family, who was now surrounded by the families and friends of the other players'. There were over a hundred of them, and they were all chattering excitedly. Ryan ducked back into the dugout and called for her teammates to come out. One by one the young women emerged, but they stayed on their side of the fence. It was as though they didn't want to lose the magic of their team accomplishment by leaving the field.

As soon as the players all appeared, Martin spoke up, his voice carrying to all. "You are all invited to a party in your honor tomorrow afternoon in Hillsboro. I know most of you don't have cars, so Mrs. Evans is going to take care of transportation. Just come to the parking lot where you usually leave from at 2:30. Oh, and call Ryan to tell her if you're coming. You'll get a ride home, too. Just bring your bathing suits," he said, smiling as the girls elbowed each other and murmured their approval.

"It'll be a great party," Jennie agreed loudly. “Don't miss it.”

"She means it," Ryan said, smiling at Catherine.

"All of you are invited," Catherine said, trying to make her voice loud enough to be heard. "Family and friends.”

"I hope you have a very big house," Jackie's father said.

There was a beat, then Jennie called out, "Don't worry. It's ginormous!”

Ryan refused to answer any questions about her injury or her tactics until they were all together, and she didn't get that opportunity until they were at the airport. She'd decided to go home with her family, even though she would have preferred to be with the team. No matter how much Jamie and her family enthused about the victory, only her teammates truly knew what it felt like to win the ultimate game.

The little crowd was huddled in a corner of the terminal, waiting for the flight to be announced. “Can we finally hear what happened?” Jamie asked. “I have to know which specialist to call.”

Ryan pinched her partner's leg and stood up, drawing everyone's attention. "Okay, here's what happened. When Marshall plowed into me, I thought I was really hurt. I was afraid my ankle was broken."

"You're not even limping!" Jamie said, her patience at an end.

Ryan held her hands up. "Hang on, I'm getting to that. I don't know what part of her hit me, but she got me right under the ankle bone and it hurt like a son of a gun. Kind of like when you get hit really hard on the funny-bone."

Everyone who'd ever been hit at that particular spot on the elbow winced in sympathy, and most of them reached over and massaged that joint on their own arms.

"I felt like I was going to cry, it hurt so bad, but after a couple minutes it just felt numb. Coach told me I had to play, even if it was a compound fracture." She shot a look at Jamie, who was glaring at her, "but the trainer said that I'd probably just hit a nerve."

"So you were faking?" Mia asked.

"Not at first." Ryan's eyes shifted across the crowd and she looked devilishly guilty. "It hurt like hell for fifteen or twenty minutes once it wasn't numb anymore. But I've had that kind of pain before and I knew it wouldn't last long. When it felt better, I didn't think it was necessary to let UCLA know it had improved.”

"Good move," Conor said approvingly. "But why did you bat left-handed?"

"Oh, I hadn't gotten a good cut all day, so I was determined to get a walk. I was doing anything I could to confuse the pitcher. That's why I took a different stance and batted the wrong way.”

“You can just do that?" Catherine asked, looking befuddled. "Decide to get a walk, I mean. Why not do that every time?"

Ryan gave her a slow grin. "It's not as easy as it sounds. She wasn't completely fooling me all day, but I couldn't get a solid cut. Luckily, I was able to get around enough to foul her off pretty well, so I figured I could wait her out. She could have just as easily struck me out. I was just determined to make her work for whatever the outcome.”

"And once this lass is determined…” Martin began, not needing to finish the sentence.

Jamie got up and put her arms around Ryan, hugging her tightly. "So you're really okay?"

"No," she said chuckling. "My hand is killing me." She held it up and Jamie gasped. “Their catcher is a big girl, and every ounce of her landed on it.”

"Is it broken?" Jamie took it in both of her own hands and examined it carefully, barely touching the swollen, purple bruise that went from the base of her fingers to her wrist.

"I don't think so." She very slowly tried to make a fist, wincing in pain. "I should know by tomorrow."

Jamie grasped her ear and pinched it hard. "You'll know by tonight—after a professional looks at it.”

“Why don't we do the sensible thing and put some ice on it? If I can't flex it tomorrow, I'll see someone.”

“Since when do you know what the sensible thing is?” Jamie asked, still scowling. “And why didn't you do that at the stadium where they had ice and trainers and elastic bandages?”

“Well, just because I know it now doesn't mean I knew it then. My intelligence comes and goes.”

“She has a point,” Martin agreed to the amusement of everyone except Jamie, who didn't see any reason why the top hand surgeon in the Bay Area couldn't be added to their plans for the evening.

The O'Flahertys were driving back to the Noe Valley when Conor said, "Da, you called Catherine Mrs. Evans earlier. She's changing her name back to Smith.”

“Really? That's odd.”

“She decided it fit with her personality better now,” Maeve said. “I agree with her.”

“Well, if it helps to erase that no-account husband of hers from her memory, all the better.”

Maeve turned around and caught Conor's eye. They both smiled, with each thinking that Jim Evans had probably never been called a “no-account” in his life.

Part Twelve 

After they arrived at SFO, the extended family wasted a good deal of time deciding who would ride with whom. Ashley had gone back with the team, so that left ten people to transport. But there were only two cars—Maeve's small sedan and Conor's big truck. As usual in situations like this all eyes went to Martin. He looked adorably confused, his eyes narrowed as he counted heads and tried to make the math work.

Catherine and Maeve shared a look as each tried not to giggle. Finally, Catherine spoke up. "I think I'm going to finally be able to give some business to my poor, abandoned limo service.”

"No, no," Martin said, looking both distracted and determined. "We'll figure this out." His pointed gaze went to Conor. "If you took only the smallest women how many could you fit in your truck?"

"Da,” Ryan said, "Jamie and I and Jennie and Mia can all take a limo to Catherine's. Then you can all go back to the city just the way you came."

"I want to go to Berkeley," Mia said. "There's a party I want to hit before I leave town, but I can take SuperShuttle."

Ryan's eyes widened and she was shaking her head before she could speak. "No! We'll figure something out."

Now Jamie joined Catherine and Maeve as they all looked from Ryan to Martin trying to figure out which of them was more wedded to the idea of the family transportation system.

"I'm starving," Conor said, "and I'd love one of those pizzas you guys always get. So we can take you to Berkeley."

"Mmm, Zachary's,” Mia said. "They're the best.”

"I could go for pizza," Rory agreed.

“I get to go for pizza too, don't I?" Mia asked.

"Absolutely," Brendan said. "We're all set. Does that work for you, Da?”

Admitting defeat, Martin said, "I suppose so, but I don't like it."

Ryan put her arm around her father and gave him a squeeze. "The only solution is to buy a bus, and that's when my desire to be together is outweighed by my guilt over wasting gas. It's bad enough that Conor has to take his gas hog every time the boys want to go anywhere together.”

"Lecture me later," Conor said. "Pizza is calling."

Catherine had her favorite limo company on her speed dial and as they stood at the curb waiting for the car she said, "I suppose this is the only way I'll be able to use a car service in the future. I'll just have to make sure you two travel with me."

Ryan put her arm around Jennie's shoulders. "Jen and I don't want to get too spoiled. We're not used to your high living.”

“I don't mind," Jennie said to Catherine, sneaking a look up at Ryan to gauge her reaction.

Ryan grasped a handful of Jennie's short blonde hair and tugged on it. "You give me up that easily?”

"It's fun hanging out with Mrs. Ev…Miss Smith,” she said, correcting herself. "I don't need to ride in the nice cars and stuff, but that's part of the deal.”

Catherine playfully took Jennie's hand and pulled her over to stand next to her. "That is, in fact, part of the deal. I hate to admit how ridiculously spoiled I am, but I miss my bed.” She paused a second with three sets of eyes expectantly watching her. “Alright," she admitted. "I miss my cook, and my pool, and my car, and my bathroom and my furniture. Actually, I miss my weather, too.” She laughed, not seeming to mind that everyone was laughing along with her. “I'm the human equivalent of an orchid. The conditions have to be just right or I'll wilt.”

The ride home was consumed with discussions about the party. Catherine was in favor of calling a local caterer and having the whole thing taken care of off site. But Ryan was insistent. She had long been eyeing the elaborate grill that Jim had set up, and she wanted to cook. Jamie didn't have a strong opinion either way, and since Catherine guessed that Marta would love the chance to cook for such a large group, she gave her assent.

Everyone was tired when they got home, but Ryan got right to work. She called Marta, who was still at Catherine's house in San Francisco, and got her shopping list. Then Ryan and Jennie went to a big box discount store to buy everything.

After they left, Jamie unpacked and walked through the kitchen on her way to the laundry room. "I'm not allowed to do laundry, but I had to get these clothes out of my room. I swear that Ryan never smells bad to me, but when her softball stuff has been in a bag for a couple of days it's a whole different issue.”

"I'd think so," Catherine said. She'd been looking through the refrigerator, but had to admit defeat. "All we have in here are condiments. What should we do?"

"Let's order take out.”

Catherine looked at her blankly. "From where?"

“There are lots of places in San Mateo. When in doubt I always get Italian for Ryan. Would that be okay with you?"

"Of course. Just get me something light, like a small salad.”

"The kinds of places Ryan likes don't have much light food. I think I'll stop at the grocery store and buy some things to make us a couple of good salads. I'm vegetable deprived.”

Conor had been home from Zachary's for just a few minutes when his cell phone rang. He picked it up and heard, “Mr. O'Flaherty?”

“Yes?”

“Please hold for Senator Evans.”

He checked his watch and saw that it was eight o'clock. That's 11 o'clock in Washington. I hope his poor secretary gets overtime.

“ Conor!”

“Hi, Jim. What's up?”

“I wanted to offer my congratulations on Ryan's big victory. I got to watch parts of it this afternoon.”

“Uhm...thanks. It was a good series.” He was too polite to ask why Jim was calling him rather than his sister.

“I talked to Jamie briefly and she said there's going to be a big party at my... Catherine's house. I was thinking about sneaking out of town tonight and coming home for the celebration.”

“Isn't it awfully late to come home?”

“Oh, that's not a problem. I have access to a plane. I can be in the air in an hour.”

It better not be one I'm paying taxes on , Conor thought.

“I assume you're going to work tomorrow, and I'll probably stop by my office for a meeting or two. Why not ride down with me?”

“Okay. What time do you want to go?”

“I can be available whenever you're ready.”

“I can knock off around four. Is that good?”

“Sure, that's fine. I'll swing by and pick you up. Say...4:30?”

Still puzzled, Conor agreed. When he hung up he thought, You know this country is screwed up when a carpenter has a harder time taking the afternoon off than a senator does.

After dinner Jamie and Catherine stayed inside to clean up after dinner, allowing Ryan and Jennie to go swim. After her mother went to bed Jamie went outside to find Ryan sitting by the pool talking with Marta on the phone. It was only 11 o'clock but Jennie looked as though she could barely keep her eyes open.

“My mom's already gone to bed, and it looks like you should head on up, too,” Jamie said to her.

“I'm tired,” Jennie admitted. “I hardly slept at all last night. I was so excited.”

"I don't think Ryan did either, to tell you the truth.” She took a quick look at her partner who was shaking her head, dissenting. “She doesn't like to admit that she gets nervous about things.”

They both looked at Ryan who was protesting more determinedly. “Ryan doesn't get nervous," Jennie said. "She kicks butt.” Now a pleased looking Ryan nodded her head, giving Jennie a thumb's up sign.

Jamie handed the girl a big towel and they started to walk inside together. “Don't let her fool you, Jen. She has the same emotions everybody else has. She just tries not to acknowledge a lot of them.”

After showing Jennie to her room, Jamie got ready for bed. She was fairly certain Ryan couldn't be on the phone this long so she went downstairs to check on her. Ryan was lying on one of the lounge chairs, curled up as small as she could get, sound asleep and obviously cold. Jamie was tempted to leave her there to teach her a lesson, but she knew it wouldn't do any good. So she gently rubbed her shoulder and Ryan's eyes popped open.

"Time for bed?" she asked, rubbing her fists against her eyes.

“Long past.” Jamie held out her hand and took Ryan's chilled hand in hers. "Let's get you inside before you turn into a popsicle.”

"It didn't get cold like this at night in Oklahoma City.”

“No, it didn't. But it does here, and you should have thought of that before you fell asleep." She gave Ryan a sharp smack on the seat. "Sorry. I know that won't change your behavior, but it makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something.”

“Nothing wrong with that,” Ryan said agreeably, trying to stifle a yawn. “I don't mind a bit.”

After brushing her teeth, Ryan got into bed. Jamie turned off the bedside lamp and snuggled up behind Ryan, rhythmically stroking her side. After a minute or two Jamie said, "You seem like you're wide awake.”

"I am. I guess coming into the house woke me up." She turned onto her back and poked Jamie a couple of times with her finger. "You should've left me outside.”

"I hate to admit how seriously I thought about that." She stretched to kiss Ryan's cheek. “I always think I can make you behave the way I want if I punish you." Ryan extended an arm and Jamie tucked her head under it, then cuddling up against Ryan's side. "It's a stupid instinct, and I'm not sure where I got it."

"Let's blame Elizabeth. She's farthest away."

"That would be convenient, but I don't think it's accurate. I think I just have some inner programming to be a martinet.”

Ryan didn't immediately react, so Jamie said, "A military dictator, or something like that.”

"Good." Ryan smiled at her and Jamie noted how white her teeth looked in the moonlight. "I thought it had something to do with puppets, but I don't know where a dictionary is.”

"No puppets. Just me being a scold.”

"You are not a scold. You just care about me and want me to take care of myself.”

"True, but wouldn't it be more effective to just remind you of that? Leaving you out in the cold or swatting you don't really convey my love."

Ryan shook her shoulders, gently nudging Jamie. "You know I don't mind being swatted. Actually, you know I like it.”

"Yeah, well, it's still not a good habit. I don't want to be the parent. That's not good for us.”

"I know, but sometimes I act like a child.”

“You do, but it's still not good for me to be parental with you. I don't like it when you do it to me, so I shouldn't do it to you.” She hadn't been planning on bringing this topic up, but the time seemed right and now that it was in her head she knew it would bother her if she didn't mention it. "Do you remember when we were in the Bahamas and Mia and I ate that brownie?”

Instantly, Ryan's body grew stiff and her voice no longer had the soft gentle tone that it had previously carried. "Yeah. Why?"

The change in Ryan's affect made Jamie's heart start to beat faster, but she kept going, wanting to finish what she'd started. “Did you prohibit me from smoking grass, or just tell me you didn't like it?”

“I've never prohibited you from doing anything." Ryan sounded cold and distant and she pulled her arm away when she sat up, dumping Jamie onto the bed. She shook her head and threaded her hands through her hair, pulling it back, twisting it to contain it and then draping it over her shoulder. “I'm not the kind of person to do that."

"Why do you sound so pissed off? I just asked a question.”

"And I just answered. You're free to do whatever you want.”

“Why the attitude?” Jamie sat up and faced her, trying to figure out what was going on in her head.

"I don't like to be accused of something I would never do. You can smoke grass, shoot heroin, have sex with strangers, you name it.”

“Ryan! What in the hell are you talking about?”

“I said what I'm talking about. I've never prohibited you from doing anything, and I never will. It insults me to even imply that I would.”

Jamie started to put her hand out but before it got to Ryan she could see that her touch wouldn't be appreciated. So she let her hand drop limply at her side. "I apologize. I certainly didn't mean to accuse you of anything. I just thought I recalled you telling me that you didn't want me to smoke grass anymore.”

“I don't. I don't want anyone to smoke grass. I think it's a dangerous substance."

She was in this far, so she had to go all the way. “Well, I smoked a little at the party the other night. I wasn't going to bring it up, but I don't like to hide things from you."

Ryan got out of bed and walked over to her suitcase. Opening it, she was reminded that all of her things were in the laundry room. "Couldn't you have left me a T-shirt?"

"Everything was dirty."

Ryan took the light blanket from the foot of the bed and put it around her shoulders. Then she went over to the window and sat on the sill, turning so she could look out the window. "You told me you didn't want to smoke grass anymore."

“I didn't think I did. But I was in the mood to the other night.”

Showing a very perturbed expression, Ryan said, "There's a grass smoking mood? What's that like?”

“Is that a genuine question, or are you being sarcastic?”

“Sarcastic.” She tucked the blanket more carefully around herself, continuing to stare out the window. Jamie didn't say a word. She knew Ryan would eventually want more information, but she couldn't guess what she'd want to know.

After a few tense minutes of silence, Ryan said, "I've made it clear that I don't like drug use, and I think it'd be better for us if you kept incidents like this private."

"Fine. I will." Jamie waited for Ryan to say or do something, but nothing happened. Finally she asked, "Are you coming back to bed?”

"I'm not tired right now.”

“Do you want to talk anymore?” Jamie tried to say this in as welcoming a manner as she could.

“No. Thanks, but no." Ryan voice was cold and very distant. Now Jamie was irritated. Not by Ryan's views, but by her coldness. After sitting in the dark and staring at Ryan for another minute or two she lay down and tried to stop herself from replaying the previous few minutes over and over in her head. She must have been successful because she dropped off to sleep long before Ryan returned to bed.

For a change, Jamie woke up before Ryan did. She tried to stay still so that Ryan would remain asleep. She knew that Ryan was running on empty and that was probably part of the reason she'd been so curt the night before. Even though things hadn't gone well with their discussion, she wasn't angry. She knew they'd talk it through and come to an agreement. She wasn't particularly looking forward to that, but she'd come to learn that was the only way.

Jamie could just make out enough of the clock on Ryan's bedside table to see that it was 10 minutes before an hour. The house seemed quiet, but it was bright outside and she guessed it was almost 8. She was going to try to sneak out of bed, but before she got the sheet off one leg Ryan was awake. "What time is it?" her sleepy voice asked.

Jamie leaned over her and looked at the clock, placing a kiss on Ryan's cheek when she sat up. “Almost 8.”

“Damn, that's late for me.”

"How long did you stay up?”

“Long enough to work some things out in my head.” She reached out with both hands and pulled Jamie back down. “I'm sorry I reacted so badly.”

Jamie touched her forehead, slipping the hair away from it so she could see Ryan's eyes. "It's okay. We need to work this out, but we don't have to do it all at once.”

“I think I know what I need.”

Jamie started to pull away. “I need to pee. I'll be right back.”

When she returned, Ryan was right where she left her. Sliding into bed beside her, Jamie said, "Tell me what you need.”

"I think my first instinct was right. If you're going to smoke grass, I'd rather not know about it. I'm never going to like it, and I doubt you'll do it in front of me, so I think I'm better off not knowing.”

"All right. That sounds reasonable." She leaned in and kissed Ryan lightly. “Anything else?"

"No. I guess that's it."

"Okay. We'd better get up. We've got a big party to prepare for.” She got up and went to the window and was able to hear noise from the kitchen. She turned to Ryan. “I think Marta's here.”

Ryan looked at her almost blankly. “So, is that it?”

“What?” Jamie looked blank as well.

"Aren't you going to say you don't think you'll smoke grass very often or…”

"It doesn't work that way, honey. If you don't want to know, we should just let it die. But if you do want to know, we should discuss it more thoroughly.”

"No. I don't want to know. Let's just get ready.” She headed for the bathroom, then stopped in her tracks. "I have no clothes.”

"Whoops. I'll find you something until you do your laundry.”

"That'd be nice,” Ryan said, sounding like her politeness was an effort.

Jamie found one of her father's older dress shirts and a pair of silk boxers that Catherine had just bought for him in Milan. "I don't know why I'm still doing that," Catherine said when Jamie asked her about borrowing the item. "I guess it's just a habit.”

"It's thoughtful of you," Jamie said. "There's nothing wrong with being thoughtful.”

“I suppose not. But I bought six pair, so I can now be thoughtful with just five."

Jamie delivered the clothes to Ryan, who still looked perturbed, but was obviously fighting it. The smile she gave encompassed only her mouth, but Jamie appreciated the effort. "I'll see you downstairs." When she left the room and closed the door she leaned against it for a moment, hoping that Ryan didn't draw this out through the whole day.

They were all as busy as bees, but even though they had planned carefully a few things were missing. Jamie went out to the garage and found her father's Acura NSX sitting alone in the big space, gathering dust. She went to the cabinet on the wall, keyed in her birthday and took the keys. It took a few seconds for the car to thrum to life, but when it did it demanded attention. She eased it down the long driveway, and smiled to herself when she caught sight of Ryan in her big shirt and boxer shorts, standing with her hands on her hips as though questioning why Jamie was in the cool car alone.

It had been awhile since Jamie had driven any of her father's high performance cars, and she had to admit that this one made her a little nervous. It was a little like riding an unfamiliar, high-spirited horse. So she drove around her neighborhood for awhile, until she felt competent to take it onto El Camino Real.

Things were in control at the house, so she decided to go a little further than she had planned. An hour and a half later she returned, delivering the few things that Marta needed, and handing a puzzled Ryan a bag.

"What's this?"

"You haven't done your laundry." She waited a beat, watching Ryan's eyes dart toward the laundry room, then turn back.

Ryan pulled out a new outfit, underwear included, then somewhat begrudgingly mumbled her thanks. Jamie decided to ignore the lukewarm reception her gift received then watched in amusement as Ryan nearly ran for the laundry room to get busy.

The guests were due to begin arriving at two, so everyone assumed Martin and Maeve would be there by one. At 12:30 Jamie reminded Ryan of this near fact.

"Darn it," Ryan said. "Your washer takes so long…” She trailed off, and Jamie could almost hear the end of the unspoken sentence.

"I didn't buy you much. Just a shirt and a pair of shorts.”

Ryan's shoulders sagged and she started to walk into the house to get dressed. Jamie followed her, grabbing a small scissors from the kitchen to cut off the tags. When they got upstairs she handed Ryan the new bra and panties, smiling lasciviously as Ryan slithered into them. "Those looked fine," Jamie said, trying not to sound like she was objectifying her beautiful partner.

Ryan was clearly not on the same wavelength. She still hadn't given Jamie a proper smile all day, and she looked quite perturbed. "You know I don't like you spending money on clothes for me. I don't say anything when you buy things for yourself, but I just don't need this stuff."

Not rising to the bait, Jamie stayed calm. She sat down on the bed and watched Ryan put on the pastel colored Madras shorts and the tailored white sleeveless blouse. "All of your clothes were not only dirty, they stunk. I saw that you hadn't started your laundry yet, and I knew you wouldn't have time to finish a load." She batted her eyes and put on a false smile. "I know it's inconsiderate of me to try to prevent you from embarrassing yourself, but I hope you can forgive me.”

Ryan didn't reply. She stood in front of the mirror, tucking in her shirt and slipping a navy blue web belt through the loops. She fussed with her hair for a moment, then Jamie said, "It's going to be hot today. Why not put it up in a ponytail?" Ryan nodded, and went to her travel bag to get a band. She started to brush her hair, lightly biting her lower lip as she often did when she fixed it.

"I appreciate your thoughtfulness," Ryan said, putting the finishing touches on her ponytail. "I just hate to waste money on clothes when I have plenty of them."

"I've told you I buy clothes as much for me as for you."

Ryan met her partner's eyes in the mirror. "I know that, but you know it makes me uncomfortable."

"You know… I didn't know that. You've always been pretty laid back about accepting things I buy you. In fact, you've been quite gracious." She tapped her chin with her index finger. "I wondered what could be making you grouchy about it today?"

"I'm sorry. I'm still trying to figure some things out." Ryan went into the bathroom and started to brush her teeth. She came out while still in the process and said, "Are you going to start buying marijuana?"

Her patience almost at an end, Jamie said, "You're being ridiculous. I smoke a tiny bit of grass...one time...and you think I'm going to start dealing."

"The brownie incident was January the first, so you've done it twice this year." Ryan went back into the bathroom to finish brushing, and Jamie thanked her lucky stars that her target had left the room. She put heavy wooden hairbrush down and swore she would not throw it, no matter what Ryan said.

When Ryan emerged, Jamie said, "Can we declare a truce on this until the party's over? I don't want to have this tension between us today."

"There's no tension. I shouldn't have asked that question. It's closed." She a fixed a plastic smile.

"Fine. I don't see why this is such a big deal, but it clearly is. I can drop it if you can."

"I've already dropped it." Ryan opened the bedroom door and Jamie got up to pass in front of her. Clearly unable to resist getting in one more dig, Ryan said, "As long as you don't ever do it with our kids in the house, I won't bring it up again."

Grabbing Ryan's belt with one hand, and the door handle with the of her, Jamie pulled her partner back into the room and closed the door. Poking her in the chest with her finger, she said, "You're making me nuts! We are not leaving here until we finish this."

Ryan held up her hands in defeat. "We're finished. I just want to make sure you understand that I don't have any tolerance for doing drugs around kids."

Grabbing Ryan by both shoulders Jamie shook her gently. "What in the hell is wrong with you? What have I ever done to make you think I would expose any child, not just my own, to drugs?"

"In January you told me you weren't going to do them at all. I'm just trying to keep up with a changing landscape."

Jamie closed her eyes, squeezing them tight. Her hands were balled into fists at her sides. "Sometimes I have to physically restrain myself from strangling you."

"I'm sorry, but I don't understand you. I can't imagine why you'd want to do something that's not only illegal, no one knows what it does to your brain.”

Seething, Jamie said, "I'm sure no one has studied the long-term effects of about 20 hits of grass over a lifetime.”

"That's up until now," Ryan reminded her. "Neither of us knows how much you'll do in the future.”

"Yes, we do. I'm never ever going to do it again. I will not forget this discussion, so there will be no doubt in my mind about how you feel about the topic.” She put her thumb and index finger on to Ryan's chin and held it steady while she looked into her eyes. "Now we're done.”

As she started for the door a Ryan intercepted her by stepping in front. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice finally sounding sincere. "I really don't want to tell you what to do. That's not the way to have a healthy relationship."

"I agree. But it's also not healthy to nitpick and be so god-awful superior about things. I'm not going to become a drug addict, and if you don't know that we've got a bigger problem."

Ryan tried to put her arms around Jamie but her attempt was shrugged off. Jamie went to the far side of the room and sat down on a chair. "You're going to get exactly what you want. You know I won't smoke grass again just to avoid another fight. And you can convince yourself that it was my choice, so your hands are clean. That's your modus operandi.”

Ryan sat on the bed and idly traced the squares of fabric in her new shorts. "I don't want you to stop because of me."

"No, you want me to stop because I agree with you. But I don't. You can't have it both ways."

"I know, I know." She tried to make eye contact, but Jamie's gaze was elusive. "Please don't let me guilt trip you into doing what I want. That's not good for us."

Jamie took in a breath and let it out slowly. "Fine. I seriously doubt that I will ever smoke grass again, but if I do, I'm going to tell you about it. So you don't have to worry that I'm doing it behind your back. I'm promising nothing other than to be honest with you about something that I know you disapprove of. Now ," she said dramatically, "we're done."

As expected, Martin and Maeve arrived a good hour before the invitation specified. They had brought Caitlin with them, as both of her parents were at work. Ryan was anxious to get things organized, but schedules never functioned well when the baby was involved. As soon as Caitlin entered the house she demanded access to the pool, and she wanted Catherine to accompany her. Catherine was all too happy to change into her suit immediately, but Martin urged her not to. "If you were going to get into the pool now, by all means go right ahead. But if you weren't, don't let the little one convince you otherwise. She has to start learning that the entire world doesn't revolve around her."

Catherine looked down at the bright green eyes that gazed up at her and said, "I can't say no to her, Martin." She bent over and picked up the baby, who cuddled up against her, babbling away. "I know she has me wrapped around her little finger, but I'm powerless."

"There's nothing wrong with you giving in to her if you want to. But I don't want her to upset your plans for the day."

Jennie was sitting at the kitchen table and she piped up, "I've got my suit on under my clothes, Mr. O'Flaherty. I could take her swimming.”

"That's a fine idea. We'll come out with you." He winked at Catherine. "That's why I wanted a large family. If you have enough children one of them is always young enough to do your bidding.”

Ryan went outside to try to figure out Jim's massive barbecue set up. She had no more than opened the lid to the grill before her father was at her side. "Gas only?" he said, his disappointment obvious. "Why would you spend this much money to make inferior food?"

"It looks sweet to me. It's got this cool rotisserie thing," she said, pointing to an accessory.

"I'd like the separate gas burner for keeping things warm, and the griddle looks good, but I'd never choose to barbecue with gas. You might as well barbecue in the house.”

"Well, I don't think Catherine has a charcoal grill, although if I mentioned that I wanted one I assume one would be here in a matter of moments.”

"You say that like it's a cross you have to bear. If you're looking for sympathy you've come to the wrong place."

Ryan busied herself with looking at all of the dials and timers and switches, but she pondered what her father had said. She didn't reply to his comment, but the more she thought about it the more ashamed she felt. She wasn't certain when she'd started feeling justified in complaining about Jamie's generosity, but she knew it was a bad habit. That coupled with the chiding she'd given her partner made her want to go find her and try to make amends. But they were expecting 50 people in less than an hour, and she had to figure out how to cook for all of them.

"You look distracted, Siobhan. What's on your mind?"

She looked at him for a second, and told the truth. "Jamie and I aren't meshing well today. I want to spend a few minutes together and see if we can straighten things out.”

“Want to talk about it?”

A little advice wasn't a bad idea, but she certainly didn't want to bring up the marijuana issue. So she mentioned what she considered a side issue. “She bought me these new clothes.” She plucked at the white shirt, pulling it away from her body. “But I have too much stuff already. It was all dirty, but I could have gotten it washed before the party.” She fiddled with one of the knobs on the grill, clearly still aggravated. “I hate that she spends money so casually.”

“Is this money you've given her?” Martin asked, acting like he was intently inspecting the grill.

“No, of course not. I don't have any money.”

“Oh. So it's her own money, you say?”

“Yes, Da,” Ryan replied, seeing where he was going and wishing he'd just get there.

“And you have what right to control her spending of her own money?”

“I don't have any right, and I know that. But I don't like for her to buy me things that I don't need.”

He stood up and looked her straight in the eye. “I don't know when you acquired the idea that it's acceptable to be impolite when someone gives you a gift, darlin' but it's a very bad one. Jamie's not using your nest egg to spend you into the poorhouse, is she?”

“Of course not. Something like this is spare change for her...but not for me!” Her voice rose again, reflecting just how seriously the issue bothered her.

Martin put his hands on his shoulders and held her gaze. “She's not your child. She's your spouse. Don't waste your time trying to make her stop doing something she enjoys. You'll only manage to take pleasure away from her and you'll feel like her keeper. Do you want that?”

“No, I don't.”

“If you want to have a good relationship you'll let her have her pleasures...even if they're not yours. I didn't see her complaining when you were gallivanting around the country playing every sport they allow women to compete in.”

Slowly, Ryan nodded. “I have to apologize. You're right. I'm trying to control her, and that's dumb.”

"Go find your girl. What are you planning on cooking?"

"We got a couple of tri-tips, and some chicken breasts and some pork steaks. I was going to start cooking everything now and then slice it all up for people to make tacos.”

"Fine. I'll start the grill and take over until you're finished making amends. Bring out the tri-tips."

"Just them? I was going to start everything at the same time."

"Bring out the tri-tips," he said patiently, "then you can bring me things as I need them. I'm taking over, since you clearly don't know what you're doing if you planning on putting chicken on at the same time as beef and pork." He bent over to fire it up and turned his head to see his daughter still standing there. "Get on with you. When you have time I'll try to teach you something so you don't embarrass yourself next time.”

After doing her father's bidding, Ryan found Jamie, Mia and Rory neatly folding napkins around sets of utensils. Ryan greeted the newcomers and asked if Jamie could spare a moment. "I think Rory and I can handle this on our own," Mia said. "She's yours."

Ryan took Jamie by the hand and led her past the pool where they saw Maeve chatting with Jennie who was playing exactly as Caitlin ordered. The door to the pool house was unlocked, and Ryan opened it for her partner. After they both entered she closed it quietly and leaned up against it, feeling a little hesitant. "It's what Mia said true?"

"Yeah, I think she and Rory can put napkins around forks."

With a slight smile, Ryan said, "No, not that part. The part about you being mine. Is that still true?” She tentatively extended her hand and Jamie took it, brought it to her lips and kissed it.

"Do you really think I'd drop you because you're sad about softball being over and this probably being your last time hanging out with your buddies?" She put her arm around Ryan and pulled her close, resting her head against her warm skin.

Ryan took in a big breath and let it out slowly. "Is that what this is?"

"I think so. You've been irritable ever since we got home."

Leaning against Jamie's body, Ryan try to soak up the affection that was so generously offered. "Why am I such a dope?"

"I don't know, but sometimes you are pretty dopey." She pulled away to show the smile that would reassure Ryan that she was teasing. "But I love everything about you, including your dopieness.”

"I doubt that, but it's nice that you say it."

Jamie focused on the top button of Ryan's blouse, playing with it with her finger. "You love me even though you're fairly sure I'm going to start selling crack to school kids, don't you?"

"Yes," Ryan said, chuckling. "I know you'll run a first-class organization, with health-care benefits and profit sharing for your employees."

"Let's try to start the day over, okay?"

"Let's try to end yesterday over. That's when the trouble began." Ryan stood up straight and took a breath. "That's interesting that you smoked some grass the other night. You know that I have negative views on that, so that's probably something we shouldn't discuss, since you don't want to be lectured and I don't think I'll change how I feel. You should probably just keep me out of the loop."

“Will you assume I'm getting high every time you leave the house for more than five minutes?” She poked Ryan in the belly a few times, teasingly.

“I don't think I will. And if I do, I'll try to keep my mouth shut and work it out on my own.”

Impishly, Jamie looked at her. "This will kinda be like the agreement we have about masturbation."

Ryan looked puzzled for a few seconds, then smiled and nodded. "If you need to smoke grass as infrequently as I need to masturbate, we've got nothing to worry about.”

Jamie pulled her down for a soft, lingering kiss. When they broke apart she whispered, "We've got nothing to worry about."

Jamie was in the kitchen helping Marta make all of the garnishes and side dishes for the tacos when she saw a Ryan trying to negotiate the door while holding a platter of chicken. "Let me get that for you.”

As Ryan passed by, Jamie made sure no one was watching then grabbed a handful of her ass. Ryan jerked to a halt and looked at her partner in surprise. "You almost made me drop dinner."

Taking advantage of how defenseless she was, Jamie pulled Ryan's head close and whispered into her ear, “You look fantastic in those shorts.”

Putting on some of her false modesty, Ryan batted her eyes and said, "Do I?”

"You do. And before this day is over I'm going to have my mouth on every one of your erogenous zones.”

Ryan's eyes lit up and her eyebrows rose. "Every one?”

Jamie kissed her cheek and gave her a gentle pat on the butt. "Every one on my list, not yours.”

At 4:30, Conor, who was sitting on the front steps of his house, saw Jim slowly drive by and give a short honk. Conor jogged down the stairs and got into the Range Rover. Smiling at Jim, he patted the dashboard. “I haven't seen this one in a while. How ya doing, Jim?”

“I'm well, thanks. How about you?”

“Good. I was surprised you wanted to drive down to Hillsborough with me. Was I on your way?”

“Not really, but I wanted to talk to you about cars.”

“Cars? Really?”

“Yeah. I have too many of them, but I don't want to sell any of them since I'll be home in a few months. Would you help me out by babysitting one of them? I thought you could take one home tonight.”

Dubious, Conor gave him a sidelong glance. “Why don't you have Jamie do that?”

“She doesn't have room for them in Berkeley. I've got one stashed at Catherine's, but she's admitted that she never even turns it on. I don't think I have to tell you that a well-made car doesn't like to sit idle for too long.”

“So what do you want me to do?”

“Well, I have the NSX, the BMW and this one. Pick one of them and drive it around for me. Or, I could give you the keys to all of them and you can drive which ever one suits you. I just need for them to get a little exercise.”

Now even more suspicious, Conor said, “I thought you had somebody to take care of your cars.”

“Oh, I do. But that's for my cars in Pebble Beach. I guess I could take them all down there, but that's a big time investment.” His eyes narrowed as if he were considering something. “But that's not a bad idea. Maybe you and your brothers or cousins could take all of them down there for me. Stay at the house for the weekend, play a couple of rounds at the club...”

“I certainly don't mind driving any of your cars, but I wouldn't feel comfortable keeping them on the street in the neighborhood. I guess I could go to your condo...”

“No, no, I think your idea about sending them all to Pebble Beach is a good one. Would you be interested in that?”

Conor wasn't sure what angle Jim was working, but a weekend in Pebble Beach and a couple of rounds of golf was far too much for him to resist. “I'm sure I could get a couple of volunteers to go with me.”

“I know you guys like to pal around together. You can take the whole bunch of them if you want to. Just let my secretary know when you're going and how many of you there are and she'll take care of getting your tee times. And, by all means, use the bars and the restaurants. I have to pay a minimum every month and I haven't been near the place.”

Conor knew he shouldn't let Jim's money color his opinion, but he had to acknowledge that using his golf membership made up for a lot of Jim's unpleasant character defects. “I don't think I'd have any trouble getting a group of the boys to go with me. When would you like me to do it?”

“Any time. And I'm being serious when I say that I'd like you to go down to Pebble Beach and play the course. You should go every month. My minimum charge is enough for six or eight of you to go down and really enjoy yourselves. If you don't use it, I'm literally throwing that money away.”

With a mercenary gleam in his eye, Conor said, “Well, I'd hate to have you throwing good money away.”

“Excellent. You're really helping me out. I can give you the keys for the Range Rover today, and you can pick up the BMW from Catherine. Actually, if you want to, you could take the NSX home tonight. It wouldn't hurt it to sit on the street for a couple of days.”

Conor's mouth was almost watering and he felt himself nodding his happy agreement.

Maeve walked up behind Catherine and whispered into her ear, “If you don't come sit down for a while I'm going to throw you into the pool.”

Catherine turned and laughed at the playful scowl her friend was wearing. “I think everyone has gotten fed so I guess I can relax a little. I was just going to refresh my drink. What can I get for you?”

“Absolutely nothing. I had some of the sangria that Marta made. It was fantastic.”

“Marta can make anything. Truly anything. She should have been a chef rather than a cook.”

They walked over to one of the tables that Ryan had spent the morning arranging for. Once they were seated, Catherine said, “I don't look as tired as I feel, do I?”

Maeve's reply was just a second too long in coming. “No, of course not. You look wonderful.”

Catherine reached up and arranged her hair. “ I appreciate the lie.”

Deftly getting around the issue, Maeve said, “Has trailing around after the girls finally gotten to you?”

“To be honest, I don't think I'm tired. I've actually been getting more sleep than usual. I suppose I'm depressed.” She sat up a little straighter and put on a smile that was completely fake but remarkably effective. “In my family speaking about such things wasn't done.” She put her hand behind her ear and cocked her head. “ I'm not sure which of my parents I can hear rolling over in their graves. Maybe both.”

Maeve covered Catherine's hand with her own and gave her an empathetic look. “Tell me how you're feeling.”

“It's silly, really.”

“There's nothing silly about being depressed. I struggled with it for years after Michael died.”

“I didn't know,” Catherine said, her gaze as empathic as Maeve's had been. She shook her head, her lips pursed. “But I should have guessed. I don't know how a parent gets through such devastation.”

“I got through it by talking to people I trusted. I hope you know that anything you ever tell me is between us. You can trust me.”

Catherine's smile was now warm and genuine. “I do know that,” she said patting Maeve's hand. “I'm just not sure what I have to say. I have what I can only rationalize as a schoolgirl crush on Giacomo. I think about him all day long, something I didn't do even when I was a schoolgirl. If he were single, I'd move to Italy just to be near him.” Her eyes welled up with tears as she said this.

Maeve looked around and saw how little privacy they had. “Lets go into the house for a minute.”

Nodding, Catherine got up and led the way. She didn't want to go through the kitchen, since everyone had to go through there to use the bathrooms, so she went along the side of the house, until they reached the driveway. There was a wrought iron bench in front of a stand of camellias, and she headed for it. “How is this?”

“It's lovely. The flowers here are so beautiful.”

“They were prettier on Capri.” Catherine sighed heavily, then rolled her eyes. “See what I mean? I'm too old to have a crush... especially on a boy from another school who's going steady.”

“Don't make light of this. Just because this isn't the ideal situation doesn't mean your feelings aren't real. Being in love with someone who isn't available is heartbreaking.”

“Yes, it is. That's exactly how I'd put it.” She struggled for a few moments then gave up the fight and rested her head on Maeve's shoulder while she wept.

Maeve didn't say a word. She merely patted Catherine's back, silently encouraging her to let her feelings out. Catherine sat up after a few seconds, looking disgusted with herself. “I've got to get myself together. It's ridiculous to carry on like this.”

“No, it's not,” Maeve said forcefully. “There's nothing wrong with having feelings, Catherine. I think it's very healthy for you to express them.”

“I try to.” Catherine tried to dry her tears with her fingertips, finding them ineffective. “I'm going to have to go find a tissue.” Lights broke the darkness as a car rolled down the drive. “Is that a Range Rover?” she asked.

“I have no idea. It's a big car...”

“I think that's Jim.” Catherine stood and started to walk quickly towards the front door, saying, “He's the last person I want to see me cry.” She turned and smiled wanly. “Thank you for listening.”

Part Thirteen 

Both Ryan and Jamie acted as hostesses for the party, making sure that everyone had enough to eat and drink. When Ryan was sure that everyone's gustatory needs had been fulfilled she caught her partner's eye and pointed towards the pool house. Their paths crossed just before the building and Jamie said, "What's up? You look a little…”

"Deflated?"

Nodding her assent, Jamie said, "That's exactly it. What happened?"

Ryan looked around and saw that everyone in the pool could see them talking. "Let's go inside."

Jamie took her hand. "It's such a nice night, let's go for a walk. I don't think I've ever taken you on a thorough tour of the yard.”

"Cool. I'd always rather be outside."

They started walking past the pool house and Jamie rested her head against Ryan's. "I know that about you. So, what's up? Why are you deflated?"

"Every once in a while I get too big for my britches and my father knocks me down a notch."

Jamie put her hand on Ryan's ass again and gave it another squeeze. "Those britches are perfect."

Ryan put her arm around her and held her in a loose embrace. They were just past the pool house, and no one could see them. "I told him I was miffed about your buying me new clothes and he reminded me that it was really none of my business.”

"That's one of the main reasons I love him. He's the voice of sanity.”

"Yeah, he is. He just went on a little bit, and I'm feeling down about it.” Jamie didn't say anything, she merely waited for Ryan to continue. "He pointed out that you're good natured when I overcommit, but then I started thinking about how doing that hurt you and Jennie this spring."

“No lasting harm done, love. Let it go.”

“You know that's hard for me. Rory kept up his end of the bargain, as did Ashley and Heather and your mom and Marta. I'm the only one who blew it."

"But you were so busy…”

Ryan silenced her by squeezing her lips together. "Everyone is busy. I took one class this term and didn't have a job. If not for sports, I could have spent three hours a day with the kid. But I wanted to do what I wanted to do, and that sucks."

"I agree that you were too busy, and I agree that you were busy doing things that gave you pleasure. But you're allowed to do that, Ryan. This was your last chance to play at the college level, and I don't want you to look back on this with regret.”

"How about basketball?" Her delivery was very dry, and one eyebrow rose.

"That was stupid." Jamie started to giggle and Ryan eventually joined her. "You have a real problem with overcommitting, and you're going to have to work on it. But don't work on it tonight, honey. You didn't teach Jennie how to play the clarinet, but she enjoyed hanging around with the softball team more than you did. I guarantee you she wouldn't trade that experience for being…Kenny G.” she cocked her head. "He plays the clarinet, right?"

"I have no idea who that is."

"He's a pretty famous guy. He's sold a zillion CDs."

“So that explains it. You know I don't like anybody who's sold more than a thousand CDs.”

“My little iconoclast.”

The skin between Ryan's brow furrowed for a moment. "I think that means…" She shook her head. “The icon part throws me. I'm stumped."

"Your Latin class serves you well. And iconoclast is someone who would destroy an icon or something that most people believe. It's not a perfect word for you, but it's the best one I could think of."

Ryan looked around, finally noticing they hadn't moved more than three feet past the pool house. "This wasn't much of a walk. Is this the whole tour?"

"Nope. We just got waylaid." She took her partner's hand and started to walk toward the tennis court.

As they walked, Ryan said, "I have some good words to describe you. Like thoughtful, generous, patient, loving…”

“Nice words. Why do I deserve them?"

"Because they're true. And because I want to apologize for being such a jerk this morning.”

"We already covered this. You can officially stop berating yourself.” She squeezed Ryan's hand. “Even though I know it's your favorite hobby.”

Giving her a sick-looking smile, Ryan said, "We didn't cover all of it. I wasn't properly grateful for you going out of your way to make sure I didn't have to go to the party in your dad's boxer shorts. I don't know where I get off thinking that I have the right to criticize you for giving me a gift. That's just asssholic.”

Jamie leaned against her, partially pushing her off the gravel path. "That's a little harsh. I know you don't like it when I waste money and I shouldn't…”

Ryan held up her hands. "Nope. Stop right there. It's your money and I've got to get over thinking that I have the right to supervise how you spend it."

"But it's our money, not mine, and I should consider your views."

Ryan sighed. "How about this. If you start spending more than you earn on your principle, we should have a talk.”

Jamie laughed, her eyes almost closing. "I don't spend a 10th of what I earn. Maybe you should adjust your figures.”

Ryan peered into the darkness that bracketed the tennis court. "Where are we going?”

"Over there." Jamie pointed at the path that curved away from the main house.

"It's as dark as pitch!”

“What's pitch?”

“Uhm…something Kenny B told me about.”

Jamie pinched her cheek. “Kenny G. Now, don't be a big baby. Give me your hand and I'll protect you.”

“Who's gonna protect you? There could be all sorts of critters out here in the woods.”

Jamie continued on the path, her vision adjusting now that the bright lights of the tennis court were behind her. “This isn't the woods. This is Hillsborough.”

“This is as far into the woods as I've ever been.”

Stopping in her tracks, Jamie stared at Ryan in the darkness. “Is that true?”

“I've been to Golden Gate Park in the middle of the night, does that count?”

“What about camping?”

“Only on the AIDS Ride. Does that count?”

“Not really. That was more like being in a shelter after a storm.”

Ryan laughed. “True.”

“Ireland?”

“You show me where the woods are in Ireland, and I'll eat them.”

“You really aren't outdoorsy?”

“I'm plenty outdoorsy. I'm just a city girl.”

Smiling with delight at having found a weakness in her partner, Jamie said, “I think you're chicken. I really do!”

Ryan shrugged, looking charmingly embarrassed. “I'm just not used to the darkness. But I can handle it.”

Soothingly, Jamie put her arm around Ryan's waist. “I didn't mean to make fun of you. I'm just shocked that you've never been in the woods.”

“I've been to Marin,” she said, still sounding defensive.

"I just assumed you've been camping. It wouldn't have surprised me to learn that you went into the forest with nothing but a knife and came out two weeks later, healthy and well fed."

“No, we didn't go to summer camp or anything like that, and we never took a vacation. I just never had the opportunity. Did you?”

“Yeah, I went to camp in New Hampshire for a few summers, and my dad and I went on some pretty rough trips. We went white water rafting in the Grand Canyon for a week, and we slept under the stars every night. And we went to Costa Rica and stayed in these cool raised tents way out in the middle of the rain forrest."

Sounding a little nervous, Ryan said, "Are we going much further?”

"No, we're almost there. It seems like we're going far, but that's just the way my mom had this part of the garden laid out. We're almost serpentining. You can't see it, but this spot is really lushly planted. It's kinda tropical.”

“It smells good.” Ryan sniffed audibly. “What is that?”

“Jasmine? Gardenia? I'm not sure.” They proceeded on, going very slowly, even though they were on a path. “This is a great place to walk when you're thinking something over.” She squeezed Ryan's hand. "I thought about you a lot last year when I used to come home for a weekend. I never dreamt…I never allowed myself to dream that someday we'd be here together.”

Ryan put her arm around her and pulled her close, kissing her cheek. "I'm really glad we're here together.”

"I am, too." Jamie turned and slid her arms around Ryan's waist. Then she tilted her chin and let their eyes lock upon each other. "I love you."

Ryan's smile was just visible in the moonless night. "I love you, too." She tilted her head and pressed her lips against Jamie's. That first touch seemed positively electric. It was so quiet and peaceful in the small glade, surrounded by tall, exotic plants. The sounds of the partygoers were very muted; the quiet noises of suburban wildlife were, in comparison, much more pronounced. A small animal skittered among the foliage, and Ryan tried not to tense up. She focused on the warmth of Jamie in her arms, the familiar, reassuring scent of her body, and the musty smell of rich earth and flowers. It was still quite warm out, but the area they stood in was significantly cooler than it had been by the house. As Ryan adjusted, she felt the flush of desire spread through her body. Just being in this secret, quiet place let her focus all of her senses on her partner, and whenever that happened her body took over.

She went back for another kiss, and this one had more heat behind it. Jamie obviously felt the same way, because she returned the kiss with even greater intensity. In seconds, Ryan felt like she had to have her hands and her mouth on Jamie, so she broke the kiss, took her hand and started back towards the house.

But Jamie was not to be moved. "Where do you think you're going?”

"To your room.”

"Honey! We can't walk past all those people and go to bed.”

Befuddled, and she often was when she was aroused, Ryan said, "Why not? No one will notice."

"Yes, they will. Now, just behave and give me another kiss.”

Ryan sighed, looking dejected. But she did as she was asked, and gave Jamie what she thought was a kiss to tide her over until bedtime. But Jamie had other plans. She once again ratcheted up the passion between them, kissing Ryan again and again, each kiss more filled with desire. When Ryan was panting and grinding against her Jamie took her by the hands and pulled her down to sit on the thick, cushiony bed of curly thyme that carpeted the glade.

"Here?" Ryan said, looking around confusedly and sounding far from convinced.

With a gleam in her eye, Jamie said, "Right here." She pushed Ryan, knowing that her agile body would fall effortlessly. Lying on her back, Ryan looked up, an expressive mix of desire and surprise on her face. “Is this really a good idea?”

“It is.” Jamie grasped her firmly and started to place incendiary kisses on her plump lips. A few soft moans slid from Ryan's mouth and Jamie knew that resistance had ceased. “I'm going to have you,” she whispered hotly. “Right now.”

Now the gaze that settled on Jamie was anything but confused or tepid. It was fervid, and stated the unspoken promise that they were going to have some fiery sex.

"You've been neglecting me," Jamie said, holding Ryan's head with both of her hands and kissing her until she had to break away to breathe. Panting, her cheeks pink, Jamie added, "It seems like I've been chasing you for weeks. But you're all mine now, and I'm staking my claim."

Immediately, Ryan's expression morphed into one Jamie had seen all too frequently recently. "I'm really sorry," she began, but Jamie cut her off with a kiss that was more possessive than reassuring.

"Stop apologizing. It's time to move on.” She started to unbutton Ryan's blouse, pleased when her partner's avid gaze followed her movements closely. "I've been waiting for you to carry the load, and then getting mad when you don't. That's not fair. Tonight I'm going to show you that I can be in charge, too."

Ryan's smile now showed a little of the cocky self-assurance that always spiked Jamie's temperature. "Are you going to top me?"

"I sure am."

“I might not give in so easily. You know I'm used to being in charge.” This was clearly a challenge, and Jamie was up to it, having fantasized about this for weeks, just waiting for the right moment.

She wrapped her arms around Ryan and squeezed her tightly. “You couldn't get away if you tried.”

Unable to give in so easily, Ryan moved her elbows out to the sides, easily breaking Jamie's hold. But the gasp of pain that broke the silence stopped her immediately. “What's wrong?”

“My arm,” Jamie said, rubbing her recently healed elbow. “It's still tender.”

“Shit! I'm sorry, sweetheart.” Ryan scrambled to get up to take a look, but Jamie put her left hand on her chest and pushed her back down.

“You wouldn't hurt me, would you?” she asked, disingenuously. “I'd hate to tell everyone that you broke my arm again.”

Ryan's eyes nearly bugged out. “You're using that to hold me off?”

“It's all I've got.” Jamie looked very proud of herself, and Ryan had to laugh.

“Really weak. Amazingly weak.”

“If it works, it works.” Still pushing against Ryan with her “bad” arm, Jamie said, “Actually, I shouldn't have to do all of the work, since I'm injured. Unfasten your belt.”

Grinning up at her, Ryan did.

“Now unzip your shorts and unbutton your shirt. I want to see some skin.”

Ryan slowly revealed her body, gazing at Jamie with a heated look. “Should I take my clothes off?”

“Did I tell you to?” The look she gave was fairly imperious, and Ryan struggled not to giggle.

“No, you didn't.” Ryan lay back down, her blouse and shorts open, revealing the new cream-colored bra and bikinis Jamie had purchased. In the darkness the new garments shone from the weak ambient light, making the distinction between Ryan's skin and her clothing sharp.

Jamie lay on her side, her head resting on Ryan's extended arm. They lay in the quiet glade, a few stars showing overhead as the muted sounds of the party provided some white noise. For a few moments they looked into each other's eyes, enjoying the lull before the storm of lovemaking. Jamie loved these quiet seconds; had come to cherish them. The promise of intimacy, the excitement of the unknown, the scent of Ryan's body all combined to make her throb with desire.

She put her hand on Ryan's bare belly and stroked her soothingly. “My very fragile arm is going to be right here, so don't even think of making a move. You're mine tonight, and I want complete compliance.”

“I live to serve.” Ryan's eyes glittered with good humor and a dash of playfulness.

“That's how I like you. Following orders.” She sat up and unhooked Ryan's bra, which by plan had a front opening. Opening the blouse and bra as far as they could go, she gazed with pleasure upon Ryan's loveliness. “Ahh, there's nothing prettier than your breasts waiting for my mouth.”

“Why don't you…”

“Ah! My arm!” Jamie cried quietly. “Every time you try to assert yourself my arm hurts.”

Ryan shook her head, but didn't say another word. She put her finger to her lips, promising silence.

“You can talk, you just can't tell me what to do.”

“It's a deal.”

“No, it's not a deal,” Jamie primly informed her. “That would mean that you were letting me be in charge. In reality, you're powerless, remember?”

Ryan had rarely been forced to be so complicit in being topped, but she was charmed by it. “I am,” she said, trying to convey her love with her voice. “I am completely powerless over you.”

“That's better. I don't want to have to get tough with you.” She lay back down and started to delicately run her hand over Ryan's chest, making her firm nipples harden even more. “Nice,” she purred. “Nice and hard.”

“Mmm, feels good.” Ryan arched her back, pressing her breasts against Jamie's hand

“Put your hand between my legs and squeeze me,” Jamie whispered.

Slightly surprised, and feeling her pulse quicken, Ryan complied, getting a nice growl from her partner. “Good?”

Languidly, Jamie's head fell back and she pushed against Ryan's hand. “Very. Do it again, a little harder.” She gasped at the sensation, smiling sexily while pumping against Ryan's hand a few times. “That's enough. I just wanted a little jolt.”

Chuckling, Ryan said, “I'll never understand your sex drive. A little is not enough for me.”

“I know that.” Jamie reached down and squeezed Ryan's sex firmly, making her whimper. “That's why I don't start with you until I'm ready to go all the way.” She kissed her, then probed her gently. Sucking Ryan's tongue into her mouth she nibbled on it, then released her. “I'm ready.” In a flash, she was atop her partner, one leg pressed between her thighs, her mouth affixed to a hard nipple.

Ryan was taken aback by Jamie's force, but it worked wonders on her clit, which had hardened in seconds. She moved her hips an inch or two, trying to get more pressure where she needed it. Jamie sensed her need and pressed against her until Ryan grunted her satisfaction.

“If you like my knee, you're gonna love my mouth,” a grinning Jamie promised, her teeth shining brightly in the dim light.

“I love your mouth right where it is.” Ryan purposefully moved her shoulder to force more of her breast into that warm mouth. “You're so good at that.”

Grasping the other breast with her hand, Jamie gave it a good, firm squeeze, making Ryan twitch. She moved back and forth for a few feverish minutes, loving the firm flesh until Ryan mewed in pain. “Too much?” Jamie asked, looking into Ryan's eyes.

“Only for a second. You know I like it a little rough.”

“I do. Pain and pleasure live at the same address in your libido.”

Ryan chuckled. “I like that.”

“I like this .” Jamie grasped between her legs and gave her a very firm squeeze. “I love to make you shiver.” She bent her head again, laving the warm, luscious skin while she pinched and pulled Ryan's lips.

“Damn, you're good,” Ryan whimpered.

“It's a gift.” Jamie regretfully left the sensitized breasts and assessed Ryan's body. She had to taste her, that wasn't in question. But the logistics were a little complicated. Finally, she reached down and grasped the hems of the shorts and started to pull them down. Ryan raised her butt, aiding the maneuver. Then Jamie put them back onto the ground and instructed, “Move over so you're lying on the shorts. I don't want you to get scratched.”

Ryan got into place and gazed up with the hungry look she always bore when she was ready for sex. The look alone made Jamie's clit hurt, but the powerful lure of Ryan's body was almost too much to bear. She rested her head on Ryan's belly, relishing the feel and the scent of her heated flesh. It was like coming home to a warm, loving welcome, and she knew she'd never tire of this closeness. She felt so peaceful that she almost regretted having to move, but Ryan's hips started to gyrate and she knew she had to provide some relief to the poor woman, whose fuse was so much shorter than her own.

“What should I do?” she asked idly. “How should I have you?”

“Any way. Any way at all.” Ryan's voice was tinged with need.

“I think I have to taste you,” Jamie decided. “That's what I've been missing the most.” She moved down so her head was right above Ryan's sex. Their eyes met and she continued, “When you're gone I go to sleep thinking about how delectable you are. I pull up a sense memory of you and nod right off.”

“You don't touch yourself?”

“No, not usually. I want the real thing.”

Grinning, Ryan said, “Again, I don't understand you, but to each her own. If I spent a moment thinking about how you taste and feel I'd be a goner and Jackie would probably ask for a new roommate.”

“You're the best roommate ever. No competition.” She put her face on the soft fabric that covered Ryan. Nuzzling her gently, she murmured, “The absolute best.”

Ryan put her hands on Jamie's shoulders, trying to restrain herself from guiding her. “Goood,” she purred at the soft touch.

“I love having this little barrier between us,” Jamie said, teasing and caressing Ryan through the fabric.

“I don't.” It was clear that Ryan's teeth were clenched, but Jamie ignored her plight.

“Quelle triste.” Jamie continued to mouth her gently, never giving her the pressure she needed. When Ryan continued to push against her she slid her hands up and grasped her breasts with a calculated pressure just short of pain.

Ryan nearly bucked against her partner. “Ooo, give me more,” she begged.

Jamie responded by squeezing her breasts even firmer, but devilishly lightening up on her gentle mouthings. Ryan beat her fists against the ground, and squirmed under the bevy of touches, but Jamie played by her own timetable, intentionally oblivious to Ryan's demands. It was hard to stay in place, but she kept kissing and rubbing against her gently, giving her just enough pressure to drive her mad.

“You've gotta…” Ryan began, but stopped when she realized she was directing too much. “Please?”

Jamie pulled away and looked at for a moment, then asked, “Can you tell me what you're thinking?”

Ryan's eyes were closed, and she continued to press her hips forward obliviously. She didn't say a word, or even show that she'd heard the question.

“Baby? Did you hear me?”

Bright eyes popped open, although they bore clear signs of distress. “What?”

Jamie rested her cheek against a smooth thigh and repeated her question while she gently trailed her index finger all around Ryan's mound.

“I'm thinking of what I'd like that pretty mouth to do, and talking wasn't on the list.”

“Come on, this is important.”

“It is? Why?” Now Ryan sounded just a little annoyed, but Jamie didn't let that stop her quest.

“Because I want to know you better. I don't know what goes through your mind when I'm making love to you, and if I wait until we're done you probably won't remember.”

Ryan's head lifted off the carpet-like ground cover. “What if I promise to remember?”

“Come on.” Jamie moved her mouth and blew a warm stream of air right onto Ryan's clit. “I'll keep touching you if you tell me.”

Through gritted teeth, Ryan said, “That's a disincentive. You're killing me!”

“No, I'm not. You're very impatient. I want to know what's in your head when you're speeding along.”

With a heavy sigh, Ryan lay back down. “All right. I…hmm…I wouldn't say I have real thoughts. Not clear thoughts, anyway.”

“No thoughts? That's surprising.”

“No, it's not. My whole brain is busy feeling.”

“Okay. What do you feel?”

Ryan blew out some air, making a soft whistling sound when it went through her teeth. “Uhm, it's like I become my clit. I have this image of my whole vulva and it fills my mind. It's like I focus where I want you, and that's all I see.”

Jamie rolled onto her belly and supported her head with her hand. “Fascinating.”

“Don't get too comfortable. You're supposed to stay busy.”

“Ooo, right.” She leaned down and kissed the soft skin that bracketed the panties. “This is my favorite skin on your whole body.”

“I like it, too, but I like the adjacent neighborhood better.”

Jamie gave her another long, warm kiss, continuing to bathe her with her heated breath until she could feel Ryan's body relax. “Isn't that nice?”

“Yeah, it is. Are we done talking? Please?”

“Almost. If we stopped now could you get aroused again in a half hour or so?”

“No, probably not. I'd be too swollen. You probably couldn't even find my clit.”

Jamie put her hand on Ryan's mound and twitched her fingers, acting like she was looking for a missing clit. “I'd find it. I'm very determined.”

“Yeah, but you'd definitely have to use the big vibrator on me to get anywhere.”

“Why is that?” Jamie looked completely perplexed. “I don't get the mechanics of your sexual response.”

“It's all about swelling. I'd have to wait until all of the congestion drained away.”

“Yuck! That's a gross way of thinking of it.”

“Not gross, just factual. Vasoconstriction and all of that stuff. Just science.”

“I think of it as love lube,” Jamie said, giggling.

“Works for me. Just think of it as something you want your mouth to meet—real soon.”

“Always in such a hurry,” Jamie tsked. “I wish you could go for hours.”

“I do. I go for as many hours as you want, and you get to benefit from it. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. I think you've found the perfect partner. Ten minutes for me, and hours for you.”

Jamie smiled at her. ‘You have a point. Now, where was I?”

Pointing with both index fingers, Ryan directed, “Right here.”

Gazing at her for a moment, Jamie said, “Roll over.” Ryan did, then turned her head and looked over her shoulder. “Up on your knees.”

As soon as Ryan was on her hands and knees Jamie lowered her panties and, with Ryan's help, slid them off her legs. She sat back on her heels and delicately traced patterns all over Ryan's skin, doing just that until her partner was shaking. “I love to feel how turned on your are,” Jamie said quietly. “Watching your body tremble always turns me on.”

“Mmm,” Ryan mumbled, which Jamie now understood as a response that came from a basic understanding that she was being addressed.

Nonetheless, Jamie liked talking, so she continued. “I love these long muscles on the backs of your thighs.” She ran her fingers down the muscles, which were tense and hard. “Nice. And this is a spot no one with any appreciation of beauty could ignore.” She palmed Ryan's ass, one cheek at a time, marveling at how the muscles were so strong and tense that the flesh barely moved. “You have the most beautiful ass in the world.”

Ryan's addled brain must have registered something, because she twitched her cheeks, as if begging Jamie to touch her more.

Soothingly stroking her flanks, Jamie murmured, “I'll satisfy you, baby. I promise. I just love playing with you.” She put her hands on Ryan's lower back and pressed down, making her thrust her ass higher in the air. Jamie reached down and spread her partner open, finally nuzzling her head between her legs to taste her.

Ryan shivered roughly while letting out the most erotic groan that Jamie had ever heard. She pressed her head forward, lapping greedily at the succulent flesh. Ryan dropped her head down and supported herself by her forearms, giving Jamie better access. She used it to full effect, sucking Ryan's swollen lips into her mouth and pulling gently.

The pleasured moans increased, and Jamie knew she could push Ryan over the edge in mere moments. But she wanted to reward her for her patience, so she lightened up on her touch, even when Ryan backed into her, trying to get her to increase the pressure.

“You don't want to finish so soon, do you, baby?” Jamie asked, even though she was fairly sure Ryan did, indeed, want to finish. But Jamie related sex to the experience of eating a delicious meal. Even when you were very hungry it wasn't usually a good idea to eat too quickly. A meal was something to savor, and she was sure her partner would come to agree once she'd schooled her in temperance.

“Wouldn't you like to feel my fingers touching you all over?” She posed the question while slipping into Ryan's heated wetness and both of them growled in pleasure. “I love being here,” she whispered. “I love feeling how wet and hot you are.” Her fingers slid back and forth, stretching Ryan just the way she liked it.

“Good. Good,” Ryan whispered, almost to herself. “That's good.”

“I know it is.” Jamie leaned over and kissed all along Ryan's lower back and ass while she pumped her fingers deep inside of her. “I know how you like to be filled up.” She slipped out of her pussy and used her slippery index finger to probe Ryan's ass. As if she'd been turned to stone, Ryan stilled, seemingly not even breathing as Jamie slowly insinuated her finger inside her. Slowly, Ryan started to shiver, and by the time Jamie was deep inside her whole body shook roughly, making Jamie pulse with desire. Slowly, she slipped a finger back into Ryan's pussy, then rocked her hand gently, filling her and making her moan with pleasure.

“Good, good, good, good.” Ryan was almost breathless, but her gratitude was clearly registered. “Do that all night.”

“I'd love to.” Jamie used her other hand to stroke and caress every inch of warm skin she could find. But after just a few minutes Ryan grasped her wandering hand and placed it firmly on her vulva. Even though Jamie had a fleeting desire to refuse, she acknowledged her partner's patience and rushed to quench her need. “You need to come, don't you,” she whispered, thrusting firmly with her right hand while her left barely brushed against Ryan's sensitive clit. “Come for me, baby. Come on.” With that, Ryan gasped out her release, pushing hard against Jamie and shaking all over. The sounds that came from her were gibberish, but, to Jamie, they were a well-thought-out, very articulate love poem, composed from the depths of Ryan's soul; meant only for her ears.

It took Ryan a few moments to come to her senses, and when she did she immediately burrowed her face into Jamie's neck. “My God, you are so good.” She nuzzled against her, placing tiny kisses upon her skin.

Jamie slid her arm around Ryan's shoulders and squeezed her gently. She kissed the top of her head, letting her lips remain there for a few moments. “I love you,” she whispered.

Ryan rolled onto her back and stared up at the night sky. “I like being out in the wilderness.”

“You're a silly girl, but you're my silly girl, and I'm keeping you just like you are.”

Rolling onto her side again, Ryan met Jamie's eyes while she reached down and started to unfasten her shorts. But Jamie's hand went down to meet hers and still it. “We've been gone a long time. We'd better get back before anyone misses us.”

Stunned, Ryan stared at her. “You can really go back to the party without any...?”

Jamie shifted her weight and got to her knees, and then stood. She brushed her hands together. “Sure can.”

“That is beyond my comprehension. On any level.”

Jamie put a hand out and Ryan took it. She got to her feet, mumbling to herself. “I don't see how anyone can just stop in the middle of lovemaking and pick it up again hours later.”

“We're different, cupcake. Haven't you come to terms with that by now?”

Ryan was struggling to get into her panties and shorts. Jamie put a hand on her shoulder, steadying her. Chuckling, Ryan said, “I will never come to terms with it. It's so alien to me it's as if you drank food and ate water. It's beyond my ken.”

“Then you'll just have to get used to me.”

Ryan finished buttoning up and tucking in. “I think I can manage. Barely.”

They decided to split up on the way back to the party to avoid being too obvious. Once they passed the pool house Ryan went to the right and Jamie to the left, forcing them to walk along different sides of the pool. There were more guests on Ryan's side since the food tables were on the right. Ryan was pleased to see Brendan and Maggie having arrived. They were chatting with Marta, who was making sure that everyone was well fed. “Hi, guys,” Ryan said. “Did you just get here?”

“We've been here 15 or 20 minutes,” Brendan said. “Where have you been?”

Maggie indiscreetly tugged on his shirt sleeve and whispered, “That's a pretty personal question, honey.”

“It is?” Both Brendan and Ryan said simultaneously, all three of them laughing at the response.

Maggie eyed Ryan from head to toe. “It is when you look like you've been wrestling.” She pointed at her muddy knees. “In the dirt.”

“Jamie had better be dirty, too, Sis,” Brendan said looking around to see if he could spot her.

Grinning, Ryan said, “ I think she's still pretty clean.” She looked across the yard and spotted Jamie speaking with her grandfather. “Heh. Her knees are as bad as mine.”

“But the rest of her doesn't look as wrinkled,” Maggie said.

“What were you doing?” Brendan asked, looking puzzled.

“Now, that's pretty personal,” Ryan said, happy at having made her brother blush. “I'd better get inside and neaten up. Thanks for the alert, Maggie.”

“There's no sense in giving your family any more ammunition to tease you with.”

Ryan put an arm around her shoulders and hugged her. “It's so nice to have someone in the family who doesn't want to add to my pain.”

Ryan dashed upstairs to change, smiling with delight when she saw that Marta had finished washing all of her clothes, which were now lying on the bed neatly folded. Having someone take care of all of your needs is something I could get used to. I'm going to have to stay on my guard to fight the urge.

Next to her clothes she found a new swimsuit, obviously from Jamie. Shaking her head, Ryan held it up, deciding it was clearly meant for her partner's enjoyment. She doffed her wrinkled clothes and slipped into the new suit, moving over to the mirror to check it out. It was a one-piece, sky blue with white edging with a cutout in the back that made it barely cover her ass. Da might make me wear a shirt over this! But she decided it was worth a potential lecture from her father to make Jamie happy. She put on Jim's shirt that she'd worn earlier in the day, and a pair of her own shorts and went back outside. Finding her father starting to close up the grill, she went over to him. “Can I help?”

“There's not much to do,” he said, looking a little befuddled. “Marta says everything disassembles and fits into that dishwasher.” He pointed at an industrial-looking machine under the counter. “It hardly seems like barbecuing at all.”

“I think we can figure out how to take this thing apart. Let's save Marta some work.”

Martin smiled. “The poor woman begs for work. She knows the value of labor.”

“True,” Ryan said absently, leaning over the grill to see if she could see where the various parts connected. “But she'll have plenty of work to clean up this mess.” She was surprised to feel her father's arms circle her waist and hug her tightly.

“I hope you always keep that kind of thing in mind. Having all of this...” he paused, clearly trying to come up with the right word, “excess can make you forget your values.”

Ryan stood and returned the hug. She lingered in her father's embrace for a moment, always loving how cared for and safe she felt in his arms. “I won't forget, Da,” she said, tilting her chin so she could look into her eyes, “but I agree that it's a struggle.”

“You fight the good fight.” They parted and spent the next few minutes working on the mechanics of the grill. They managed to disassemble it, then had to figure out how to load and turn on the dishwasher. Their task finished, Ryan went to one of the nearby tubs and pulled out two cold beers. She handed one to her father and each of them sat on a stool and gazed out at the party.

“It's nice having Jennie here to take some of the load of keeping the baby entertained,” Martin observed.

“True. Caitlin wears me out.”

“I worry about Maeve sometimes. Now that Caitlin is so mobile it's not as easy to mind her.”

“Now that I have nothing but free time staring me in the face you should call if you think she's over extending herself. There's nothing I have planned in the next few months that I couldn't put aside to watch the baby for a day or two.” She watched several of her team mates playing in the water with Caitlin and Jennie. “I've got Jennie pretty busy this summer, but she could be a resource for babysitting too. I'd be happy to pay her a couple of bucks an hour. It'd be a good way to keep her busy, also.”

“What do you have the girl doing?”

Ryan took a long pull on her beer and thought for a few seconds before she answered. “I wouldn't normally talk about this, but I'd like to hear your advice.” Martin didn't say anything. He just cocked his head, looking alert and interested. “Things aren't working out very well for Jen. She and her roommate don't get along well, and I don't think her house mother understands the root of the problems. Jennie has been spending a lot of time with the softball team and now that the season's over I'm worried about her having too much free time.”

“That's always a concern with teenagers.”

“It is. But particularly so with Jen. She was largely unsupervised when she lived at home, and she still doesn't understand that she can't just do as she pleases.”

“For instance...?”

“Well, she wanted to go to our games in Fresno, but she had finals that week so both Jamie and I told her she couldn't go.” She sighed, her shoulders rising and falling. “She went anyway. And the worst part is that she hitchhiked there.”

Martin's eyes nearly popped out of his head. “I'd have beaten Conor if he'd tried something like that when he was in high school. But to have a young girl do it...” he shook his head roughly, as though he was trying to settle his thoughts. “Did you just find out about this today?”

“No, last week.”

“And she's at a party?” His voice had risen enough so that people 50 feet away turned towards them. “She'd be lucky to see the light of day for six months if she were mine.”

“I know, I know,” Ryan said, regretting bringing the topic up at all. “I wanted to be more punitive, but I talked to Jamie and Mia and they had some good points for being more lenient.”

“Forgive me, Siobhan, but neither Jamie nor Mia have an inkling of a thought about good parenting.”

Stung, Ryan scowled. “That's not fair. they've both been teenagers. Their views count.”

“I didn't mean to insult either of them. But neither had consistent, thoughtful parenting. Mia obviously had no supervision, and Jamie was largely ignored or coddled. They're lovely girls but neither knows how to get a wayward child in line.”

Ryan wasn't sure how her father knew about Mia, but she had to admit he was at least partially correct. “You're probably right, but they convinced me that part of Jennie's problem is that she hasn't had any consistency. I was supposed to be much more involved with her this year, but I selfishly put my own schedule first.”

His voice gentled, but his tone didn't remove the sting from his words. “It's good that you can acknowledge your failings, but if you don't change your actions your mea culpas are as useful as a chocolate teapot.”

“I realize that,” she said somberly. “I'm going to put as much effort into changing my priorities as I did to school and my sports.”

He clapped her heartily on the back. “Then it's as good as done. now, let me ask you a vital question. Why are you in charge of Jennie?”

“I'm not really in charge...”

“Exactly! You're not her guardian, and I don't think it's fair to the child or to her house mother to have you be so involved.”

“But Jen is really involved in our family. She's been completely abandoned, Da. I can't give up on her.”

“I'm hardly suggesting that. But you never saw me disciplining any of my brothers' children. I reported their misdeeds, of course, but it wasn't my job to punish them, and it's not your job to punish Jennie.”

“A second ago you were mad at me because I hadn't punished her more thoroughly.”

“That was just a reaction. Someone should have punished her, but that someone is her legal guardian. What does she... what's her name again?”

“Sandy.”

“Right. What does Sandy think about this?”

Ryan wanted to jump up and run but she knew her father would catch her eventually. “Uhm, I don't think she knows.”

Martin crossed his arms over his chest and nodded sagely. “Has she been suspended from school?”

“Uhm, they think she was sick.”

“Did you aid in their thinking that?”

Ryan nodded, ashamed she had to.

Martin was quiet for a few moments, his cool blue eyes gazing out at the partygoers. Ryan fidgeted, wishing she was in the pool with her friends. Finally, Martin broke the silence. “What are you trying to teach the girl?”

“I guess I haven't been focusing on what she needs to learn. I've been trying to make her feel wanted and that she's part of our extended family.”

“Members of our extended family don't lie and risk their lives while being willfully disobedient. In our family you don't put your own needs first. I'd think those would be important lessons for you to pass on to Jennie.” He trained his gaze on his daughter and she felt like it was burning into her skin. “I would have thought those values would have aided you in helping her do the right thing.”

She put her head in her hands, then briefly massaged her temples. “I screwed up royally, Da. From start to finish. I haven't set a good example and I haven't helped her make good choices.” She looked out at Jennie playing in the pool. “I keep thinking that part of the problem is that she doesn't have any consistency. I haven't seriously spoken to Jamie about this, but I think it might be good for Jennie if we were to become her guardians.”

“You're both too immature,” he said immediately, not even bothering to spend a moment thinking about it. “That would be like placing a pit bull with a first-time dog owner.”

He had finally pushed Ryan too far. “We're not idiots! Everyone makes mistakes with kids. We'd catch on quickly.”

“No,” he said, shaking his head with finality. “Her guardian is used to dealing with children like her. Now if you have some evidence that the woman isn't up to the task, let me hear it. If not, you need to get out of the way and let her do her job. Your job is to be the girl's friend.”

“She needs more than that, Da. I don't want to go into it but there are some serious problems with her roommate. I don't think it's safe for Jennie to be around her.”

“And Sandy doesn't agree with you?”

Ryan let out a deep breath. “Jenny hasn't told her, and I haven't either.”

He looked at her again, his gaze kind but firm. “Do you see why I don't think you're mature enough to be her guardian? How would you feel if the court appointed you her guardian and one of her other friends knew about a serious problem and didn't speak to you before trying to solve it?”

She rolled her eyes, looking markedly immature. “ Do you ever get tired of being right?” She saw the flash of hurt cross his features. “Oh, shit. I didn't mean that.”

“Yes, you did, but it's all right. It's human nature to dislike being told when you've handled something poorly. But it's my job and my privilege to be your father, Siobhan, and part of that job is to tell you when you've fallen short. First, I don't like your cursing. It's wholly inappropriate.”

“I'm sorry,” she mumbled.

“Secondly, I don't think you've done Jennie any favors in the last few months, but I don't think you've done anything that can't be repaired.”

“Okay,” Ryan said, nodding. “I'll talk to Sandy and tell her the entire story.”

Martin stood up and put his hand on Ryan's cheek. He brushed his thumb across it gently while she gazed up at him. “I know you tried your best. Your only fault in this is your lack of experience. You're going to be an excellent parent, love, I'm certain of that.”

Ryan stood up and hugged her father again. “I think I prefer being a child. It's a heck of a lot easier.”

“It's much easier if you start with a baby,” he said, pulling back to tickle under her chin and make her giggle. “But there's no more rewarding job. Especially when you've been gifted with one of the most extraordinary young women on God's green earth.”

Ryan made eye contact for a brief moment, knowing that her father would make her cry if she held his gaze for too long. She hugged him again, enormously glad that the stork had delivered her to his doorstep

Part Fourteen

Not long after Ryan jumped into the pool she felt a familiar hand on her shoulder. “Hey,” she said, turning to see Jamie for the first time in a while. “Where've you been keeping yourself?”

“I saw your father lecturing you about something, so I made myself scarce.”

Feigning outrage, Ryan held her by the shoulders and swiped her leg behind Jamie's knees, dunking her.

Sputtering a mouthful of water at Ryan, Jamie emerged, unrepentant. “I'm never going to volunteer for a Martin O'Flaherty lecture, so I'll just have to take the punishment.”

“How do you know the lecture would've included you?”

“Well, I wasn't sure, but it's not worth the risk. Where you the solo object, or did I do something wrong, too?”

“Some support!” Ryan splashed another handful of water right into Jamie's eyes.

“Stop it!” She grasped Ryan around the waist, catching her arms in the bargain.

“I'll behave. I don't want a third lecture tonight.”

“You're gonna get one from me if you don't tell me what he was talking to you about. Give!”

Ryan twitched her head in the direction of the deeper water, leaving her teammates and Jennie and Caitlin behind. They treaded water while she spoke. “He was reminding me of why my instinct was to be harsh with Jennie.”

“Oh-oh. I take it he didn't agree with me.”

“In a word, no. He didn't think she should have been able to come here, much less go to the World Series. He also thinks I've been butting in where I don't belong and undercutting Sandy, not to mention my alma mater.”

“Yikes!”

“Yeah, he was pretty blunt, but I can't argue with what he said. He cut me down pretty quickly when I said we might have to get custody of Jen.”

“What?!?”

“Shh...” Ryan said, putting her finger to her lips. “I spoke before I thought.”

“Damned right!”

“Da's right. This is something Sandy should handle. I've mucked things up by getting too involved. I'll talk with Sandy and discuss the whole mess.”

“Are you going to talk to Sacred Heart too?”

“Mmm, I'm not sure.” She shook her head. “Sandy can decide if that's something Jen has to do. If Jen rats herself out I'll call to apologize for aiding and abetting a crime.” Rapping herself on the head, she said, “It's gonna take some conditioning to change my evil ways.”

Ryan and Jamie were at the buffet table, scrounging through the leftovers to fill Ryan's hearty appetite when Jim approached. “I bought you a little something to commemorate your victory,” he said.

Ryan put down her plate and said, “You didn't have to do that, Jim.”

“I know, but I was thinking about my college years and I recalled a incident that stuck with me.”

“What's that?” Ryan leaned on the edge of the sturdy table and smiled when Jamie sidled up next to her to listen.

“Stanford went to the Rose Bowl the year before I entered. The upper classmen had watches that they had engraved with the date of the game and the score. I wanted one of those so badly that I could taste it.”

He said this so intently that Ryan and Jamie had to laugh.

“I mean it. I was determined that we would go to a bowl game every year, but we never made it. Nonetheless, playing on that team was one of the highlights of my life, and I'd still rely on any of those guys if I needed a hand. I bet they all feel the same way. You'll remember this team and your win for the rest of your life.” He reached into his pocket and took out a black box, and handed it to Ryan. “This will help if you ever forget.”

Grinning, she opened the box to reveal a sturdy stainless-steel watch with a blue face and gold Roman numerals. Turning it over, she saw that it read, “Cal Bears, NCAA Champions, Softball 2000. “This is awesome,” she gushed. Ryan threw her arms around Jim's neck, ignoring his habit of pulling back when she hugged him. “This was very, very thoughtful of you.” She stood and handed the watch to Jamie. “How did you get this done in one day?”

“It's not hard,” he said. “I just had to go into the city to have it done. I had a meeting at my old firm and it was ready by the time I finished.”

“It's very nice, Daddy. And thoughtful, too.”

“Oh, I also arranged to have ESPN send you DVDs of the game--minus the commercials. They're sending enough for you to give one to everyone on the team.”

“That's fantastic! Having a senator in the family is really paying off.” She grinned at him, hoping he understood she was teasing.

“Use me while you can. I'm a lame duck in November, and a dead duck in January.”

“You won't be a dead duck,” Jamie reminded him. “You'll just fly home to roost in California again.” She hugged him. “And I'll be glad to have you back.”

“I'm gonna go show Brendan and Maggie my cool watch,” Ryan said, scampering off.

“I think she liked it,” Jim said.

Laughing, Jamie said, “She loves presents, even though she tries not to.” She started to clean up the table, which looked as though hungry dogs had attacked it. “You sloughed it off, but I know it wasn't easy to find a watch and have it engraved in one day.”

“The engraving took some smooth-talking but the watch wasn't hard to find. I called my favorite jeweler and told him what kind of girl Ryan was.”

Jamie raised an eyebrow. “In what way?”

He looked puzzled, then laughed. “Just that she's very active. I was tempted to buy her something like a Rolex or a Patek Phillipe, which I knew would stand up to a lot of abuse, but then I considered who Ryan is. I knew she wouldn't be comfortable wearing a watch that cost that much.”

“Good job,” Jamie said, giving her father a dazzling smile. “You're absolutely right.”

“I don't think she'll be able to break the one I bought, but if she does, she won't have a fit.”

“Oh, she'd have a fit, but only because of the sentimental value. Nonetheless, I'm very pleased that you went out of your way for her. That means a lot to me, Dad.”

He smiled back at her. “You were right about her, of course. She's impossible not to like. I put as much thought into this watch as I did the farm bill. I really wanted to please her.”

Knowing he was probably telling the truth, Jamie just smiled, hoping the next junior senator from the State of California was more committed to the affairs of the state than her father was.

They'd been at the party for a couple of hours when Jim found Conor just getting out of the pool. He tossed him a towel and said, “I'm going over to get a beer. Would you like one?”

“I don't think I'd better, especially if I'm going to drive your car home.”

Jim smiled at him, then walked over and got a beer for himself. When he turned around Conor was standing close, drying his longish hair with a towel. “How about a cigar?” Jim asked.

“Sure. I'm always up for a good cigar, and yours are better than I've ever had.”

Jim removed a leather case from his shirt pocket, opened it and held it out to Conor.

“You should consider investing in a locker at a good cigar store. Storing a cigar at the right humidity and temperature can make even inferior tobacco taste pretty darned good.”

Conor let Jim trim the cigar, then put it into his mouth when Jim flicked his lighter. He inhaled in satisfaction. “That's too rich for my blood. Besides, I don't think I can taste the difference between an average and a good tobacco, although this does taste great.”

Jim nodded. “You have to train your palate. Over time, you can learn to appreciate craftsmanship.” He took a deep draught and blew it out reflectively. “Catherine's father got me started with cigars. That man really knew how to enjoy the finer things in life.”

“If you've got ‘em, I guess it's best to enjoy ‘em.”

“Oh, he had ‘em. I'm sure he didn't have as much money as Catherine has now, but it seemed like a lot more 20 years ago. They were fewer really wealthy people, and they stayed in a relatively small social circle-- at least around here. Now you've got all of the young high-tech millionaires who don't even own a suit. It's a whole different thing.”

“You can tell Catherine was brought up with a certain style.” Both men locked on her with their eyes while they contemplatively smoked their cigars.

A few minutes passed, with neither of them speaking. Finally, Jim said, “I wish it was as easy to have someone keep an eye on Catherine as it is to have someone keep his eye on my cars.”

Bristling, Conor said, “I don't think Catherine needs a babysitter.”

“She's certainly no baby, But I'm concerned about her. Worried, honestly.”

“Why? She seems fine to me.”

“Really?” Jim looked at her carefully while taking another puff. “She doesn't look well to me at all. Her color isn't good, and I'm worried that she's drinking again. To excess, I mean,” he added. “She's had almost a full drink in her hand every time I've seen her tonight.”

“Maybe she's just carrying it around.” Now Conor was looking at her as carefully as Jim was. “I can't tell what she's drinking.”

“It looks like a gin and tonic to me. That's her favorite summer drink.”

“It could be sparkling water and lime.”

“Yes, I suppose it could be. And she could just be tired. Traveling takes a lot out of her, which is odd, given how much of it she does.”

“I know they've all had a rough couple of weeks. As soon as she got back from Europe she went down to Fresno and then to Oklahoma. She hasn't had many nights in her own bed.”

Fondly, Jim said, “She loves her own bed. She's a real trooper, but she's quite attached to her little luxuries.”

“Well, I don't think you have to worry about Catherine. I've seen a very positive change in her in the past year.” Conor almost regretted his sentence, but it was baldly true that Catherine was a better person with Jim out of her life.

“That may be true,” Jim said slowly, “And I know everyone in your family thinks she's better off without me.” Conor knew the polite thing would be to disabuse him of that notion, but he wasn't able to. After an uncomfortable pause, Jim continued, “I'm just worried she's going from the frying pan into the fire. That guy she's seeing in Italy is nothing but trouble.”

Without meaning to, Conor found himself saying, “You'll get no argument from me. I'm not sure what he wants from her, but I'm sure it's something. Are you sure he really has his own money?”

“Well,” Jim said, his voice taking on a purr that colored it when he was proud of himself. “I've done a little more research, and it seems that much of his money comes from his wife. He has family money, too, but I don't think he's gotten any of it. His people are industrialists, and he chose not to go into the family business. it looks to me like he's keeping Catherine in reserve in case his wife leaves him to be with her girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” Conor almost choked on the smoke. “She's gay?”

“So it seems. Why she needs a husband is beyond me.” He chuckled evilly. “Maybe that's what Giacomo asks himself.”

“That's very strange.”

“It is. Now, don't get me wrong. I know that Catherine wants to start a new life, and I think it would be good for her if she had that chance. I don't even think it's a bad idea to be with a younger man. I just can't see the sense of her being with a married man who lives a continent away. I hate to think of her moving there if he becomes single. I know that would break Jamie's heart.”

“I'm sure it would,” Conor agreed, his brow furrowed as he gazed across the yard, staring at Catherine.

On one of her frequent tours of the yard, Jamie stopped by Martin and Maeve, who were poolside, keeping their eyes on Caitlin and her many pool-mates. “How's it going?” she asked, putting her hand on the back of Martin's chair and leaning against it. “Do you need anything?”

“Not a thing.” Martin reached up and put his arm around her, encouraging her to sit on the wide arm of the chair. “How's my darling daughter?”

Maeve jumped in when Jamie appeared to be a little puzzled. “Martin thinks he may have been too harsh with Siobhan earlier.”

“I never intend to lecture her,” he said, his expression contrite. “But when she tells me some of the things she's done or that she's planning...” He met Jamie's eyes. “You must know what I mean.”

“Oh, I do,” she agreed, laughing. “She can drive you mad. You didn't hurt her feelings tonight Martin. She knows she's made some mistakes with Jennie.”

“She's such a good person,” Martin said, “that you feel like an ass for chiding her. But if you don't you're afraid she'll do something completely batty.”

“Believe me, Martin, if she tried to get custody of Jennie I'd send her back to your house. She can talk me into a lot, but we're not ready to have a 15-year-old child.”

“She doesn't know her own limits,” Maeve observed.

“She never has. No matter what the issue, she thinks she can, and should, do more. She's been like that since she was a baby.”

“It took all of us to keep her busy,” Maeve said. “And I do mean all of us. We thought Conor was bad, but Siobhan was in a different league. Fionuala would sometimes call me, begging for relief. And Siobhan was just a tiny thing...two or three years old. It would have been impossible for one person to keep her out of trouble.”

“She has more than her share of energy,” Jamie agreed. “I just wish she didn't get so down on herself. She acts like everything that goes wrong is her fault.”

“Yes, she does,” Martin said. “She takes on too much and then berates herself when she can't handle it all. I wish she could just take on less, but I've tried and failed to convince her to change.” He shrugged. “Maybe she can't.”

“It's not easy,” Jamie said. “I don't want to supervise her, since I hate it when she does that to me, but I can't let her do everything she wants.” She shivered from the mere thought of the mayhem that would ensue. “I just can't.”

“I don't have much advice,” Martin said. “But I'd like it if you'd remind her how much her father loves her. She's the light of my life.” He gave Jamie such a warm, full smile that she impulsively leaned over and kissed his cheek.

When she sat up she winked at Maeve. “We're lucky women, aren't we?”

“You'll get no argument from me. I couldn't be happier.” Maeve reached over and took Martin's hand, squeezing it tenderly.

It was almost nine when Charlie approached Jamie. “I think I'm going to call it a night, honey.”

“Did you have fun, Poppa?”

“Of course I did. I always have fun at your parties.”

“I saw you talking to a lot of Ryan's teammates parents. They're a good bunch, aren't they?”

“They are. A group of us spent a long time talking about the election. I was surprised to hear that a lot of them are leaning towards voting for Bush. I don't hear that perspective very often in the city.” He chuckled. “I had to restrain myself from trying to sway them towards Gore.” He reached up and tapped at his clerical collar. “I should have come in mufti tonight. I can get away with being more opinionated.”

“I assume people will realize how good things are and want to keep them going. But...” She trailed off. “Having Monica Lewinsky muddy the whole scene doesn't help.”

“Gore had nothing to do with that, thank goodness. But it hasn't helped his image, I'll grant you that.”

“I'm tired of politics, to be honest. I'm paying much more attention since my father has been involved and it's enervating. I'll be glad when he gets home and I can go back to my former ways of barely paying attention.” She grinned mischievously.

“I'm glad your dad was able to come. I saw the watch he gave Ryan. That's just like him,” he said, smiling. “He's always been a very generous man.”

“Yep. He puts a lot of thought into gifts.” She turned to make sure no one was near them. “I noticed Kayla's absence. Did he say anything to you about her?”

“No, not a word. I hope she breaks up with him and gets on with her life. She's a lovely girl and I hate to see her wasting her time with Jim. I hate to have to say this, but he's not the kind of man a bright young woman should be with.”

“I wish I didn't agree, but I do. I just hope she doesn't hurt him too much when she leaves him.”

Charlie put his arm around Jamie's shoulders and hugged her tenderly. “You have a good heart. I love how much you care for your dad.”

“I do care for him. I know he's a great guy beneath all of the...” She waved her hand in the air. “Whatever all of that stuff is that he gets caught up in.”

“I'm not sure I have a name for it, either. But I agree that he's a good man underneath it all.”

Mia found Ryan standing on the pool deck trying to talk Caitlin into getting out of the pool. “Good luck” she said, putting her arm around Ryan's waist.

Turning to her, Ryan rolled her eyes. “I could just drag her out but I think I'll wait until my teammates leave. The kid shrieks like she's being beaten.”

“Let her stay in. She's got plenty of supervision.”

“I know, but she hasn't eaten. She gets cranky when she's hungry.”

Mia leaned against Ryan and jostled her a few times. “Sounds like you.”

“It does, doesn't it? We're about the same...overly focused and whiny.”

“You're not so bad. I think I'm gonna take off.”

“Where are you going? Berkeley? I'll find you a ride.”

“No, thanks. I'm gonna walk home. I want to have a serious discussion with my father.”

Ryan's brows hiked up. “Really?”

“Yeah. It's almost impossible to get him alone. But since my mother's gone he won't be able to hide behind her.”

“Isn't he kind of a big wig in lawyer circles?”

“You wouldn't know it from the way he is at home, but, yeah. He's one of those guys who chose a bossy woman on purpose. He likes to let her be in charge at home. Saves him from having to do anything or make any decisions once he leaves the office.” She shrugged. “Wouldn't work for me, but he seems happy.”

“Aren't you going back to Colorado tomorrow?”

“Yep. I'll have my dad drop me off at the airport on his way to work.”

“Is that convenient? If not, I'll come get you and take you any time you need to go...”

Mia pinched Ryan's lips together. “It's fine. Stop trying to make sure the whole world is happy.”

Looking a little sheepish, Ryan said, “Not the whole world. Just the people I love.”

Mia put her head on Ryan's chest and snuggled into the hug that automatically enveloped her, “I love you, too. And I'm really, really glad I got to see you win. I knew I'd bring you good luck.”

“You were the key.” Ryan squeezed her tightly. “I appreciate how much trouble you had to go to stay. And you kept my girlfriend busy, which was also a big help.”

“I had a great time. You missed out on the good food, though. That stadium had some awesome shit!”

“Really? Jamie didn't mention that.”

“She doesn't like the same stuff I like. I was hooked on that corn on the cob with flavored salt. Jen and I made ourselves sick on it.”

“Mmm.” Ryan smiled, just thinking about corn on the cob, one of her favorite foods.

“And they had good bar-b-que, too. Sitting in the stands there was great. Much better than being in a gym in Amsterdam. With my mother.” She made a face, then grasped her own throat with her hands, acting as though she were being strangled.

“I'm sorry that got screwed up. I know you wanted to go.”

Mia looked at her, showing an expression that Ryan had just recently started to see. It was a thoughtful, serious look, one Ryan really appreciated. “I didn't, really. I was going for Jordan, and I thought it would be nice to have some time with my mom. But I was wrong. My mom's not reliable enough emotionally to plan a trip with. If things don't go her way she has a tantrum. That sucks and I'm not gonna get pulled into that trap again.”

Ryan hugged her again, holding on for a full minute. “I'm sorry,” she said, having nothing to add to take the sting away.

At ten o'clock, Coach Roberts loudly announced, “We're taking off at 10:30! If you're not on the bus, you're gonna have to walk.”

Without complaint, the players started to leave the pool, many of them wrinkled from being in for hours. Jennie started to get out, too, but when Jackie handed Caitlin off to her she stood, undecided, one foot on the stairs. Cait leaned over as far as she could and started splashing water into the air while she looked at Jennie.

Maeve, who was still poolside, said, “If you want to get out, don't let her change your mind. She won't like it, but she has to learn she's not a fish.”

“I guess...” Jennie looked at the players headed for the poolhouse, where they'd changed into their swimsuits. “I guess I'm not in a hurry.” She looked almost disconsolate, gazing after her idols.

“Have you ever played a sport?” Maeve asked.

“No.” Jen shook her head rapidly. “I'm a dork.”

“I doubt that! Why don't you investigate some things this summer. I bet there's a sport you could love. Just ask Ryan. She's played all of them, you know.”

“I bet she has. She'd be on the Giants if she was a guy.”

“I don't know about that, but I'll agree that she's quite an athlete.”

“I've never done anything athletic,” Jen admitted. “I can barely do any of the tests we have in gym. I came in last in the mile run.” She looked away, clearly embarrassed.

“Do you ever run for fun?”

“No.” She shook her head. “Not really.”

“You have to work up to doing well at that long a distance, honey. Talk to Ryan about this. She can help you.”

“I know I should do stuff but I haven't had much time. I've really had to work to keep my grades up.” She made a sour face. “And now I have to go to summer school.”

“Maybe you need some motivation.” Maeve smiled when the girl met her eyes. “Why don't you consider joining us in the 3 Day walk we're doing to raise money to fight breast cancer?”

“Me?” Jennie acted as though Maeve was proposing that they jump across the bay.

“Yes, of course. Catherine and I and Jamie and Ryan are doing it. We'd love to have you join us, but you'd have to train.”

Her eyes grew bright and she nodded enthusiastically. “I could do that! I really could!”

“Brilliant! We'll talk to the girls and figure out a training schedule. Maybe we'll take Caitlin along with us.”

Jennie shot a quick look at the demanding baby. “No offense, Mrs. O'Flaherty, but I think she'd be too much trouble.”

“I can see that you already have a better head on your shoulders than some of us do, dear,” Maeve said, glad that Ryan hadn't heard her ridiculous idea.

Once the team members were dressed they all thanked Catherine then went out to the front to wait for the buses. There were about 50 people in all; players, coaches, parents and a few siblings.

Jackie called for their attention and said, “This is probably the last time we'll all be together guys. Let's do our spirit yell one more time.”

They all gathered in a circle, 15 of them, and started to sing “Big C” as they did after every game.

On our rugged Eastern foothills,

Stands our symbol clear and bold,

Big "C" means to fight and strive

And win for blue and Gold.

Golden Bear is ever watching;

Day by day he prowls,

And when he hears the tread

Of lowly Stanfurd(sic) red,

From his Lair he fiercely growls.

What's he say? He says:

Grrrrrah, Grrrrrrah!

Grrrr, Rrrr, Rrrrrah!

We are Sons of California,

Fighting for the Gold and Blue.

Palms of glory we will win

for Alma Mater true.

Stanfurd's men will soon be routed

By our dazzling "C",

And when we serpentine,

Their red will turn to green,

In our hour of victory!

What's he say? He says:

Grrrrrah, Grrrrrrah!

Grrrr, Rrrr, Rrrrrah!

As with all college songs from long-standing universities, this one bore lyrics that were, at best, weak, not to mention the fact that they were intended for the men's sports teams. But none of the players minded that. What mattered was that they were a team representing a university that most of them loved, and they were proud to sing the traditional lyrics.

When they finished a little off-key and out of tempo, someone said, “Chant!”

Their arms still around one another's shoulders, the dim lights that lit the plants shining on their happy faces, they jumped up and down, yelling out a series of chants and calls they used when they had a man on base or were trying to get a rally going. They words were few and repetitive; but the intensity of their voices made most of the other guests follow the sound. By the time the team finished all of the other guests were standing on the driveway, clapping enthusiastically. The teammates broke apart, only to dash from one to the next, hugging and kissing each other, even though almost all of them were going to get on a bus together.

As the first bus flung its door open Ryan stood by, hugging each woman in turn. The buses filled quickly, and Coach Roberts was the last one in line. He looked at Ryan and wrapped an arm around her neck, thumping her on the head with the fingers of his other hand. “You're one lucky son of a bitch, O'Flaherty. And you can play ball with anyone I've ever coached.”

He let her go and she stood up, grinning at him. “I've had a great time being on your team, Coach. You really rock.”

“If you ever want to get into coaching, pick softball. I'd love to have you.”

“That's very nice of you. That could be fun.”

He took another look at what could only be called a mansion. “You're the perfect candidate for college coaching. There's no money it in, but you don't need another dime!”

After the bus left only family members remained, so Jamie and Ryan got busy cleaning up, no longer having to maintain their hostess roles. They refused all offers of help, even from Marta, Catherine and Jennie. Soon they were alone, the family unable to remain if they couldn't help. “We just have to get it clean enough so that the coyotes don't come down,” Jamie said.

Eyes wide, Ryan said, “You're kidding, right?”

“No, I'm serious. We can't leave any food out.”

Ryan gave her a playful pat on the butt. “I meant about the coyotes.”

“I know. That's why we can't leave food out.”

“Argggh! Will you answer the question? Are there really coyotes around here?”

Jamie blinked slowly. “Of course there are. They're all over the hills.” She turned and looked at the dark mounds. “We have to share the space. They were here first, you know.”

Ryan's eyes had narrowed and she slowly scanned the hills behind the pool. “Are they dangerous?”

“Not unless you're a cat or a small dog. We're dangerous to them when we leave food out. They get too bold and then people freak out and call the cops.” She was busy throwing paper plates into a trash bag, but she stopped and gave Ryan curious look. “Haven't you ever seen a coyote?”

“Hell, no!” She was clearly agitated, and her voice was a little high. “Where would I see a coyote? Market Street?”

Jamie giggled. “I thought everyone in California had seen them. They're all over the place.”

Taking a quick look at the mostly cleared tables, Ryan grabbed the bag from Jamie's hand and led the way into the kitchen. “That's good enough. We'll get the rest in the morning.”

Secretly charmed by Ryan's fear of wildlife, Jaime followed her into the house, determined not to snicker. Then she kissed her cheek and said, “Go brush your teeth. I'll lock up.”

It was clear that Jamie was fibbing, and Ryan looked like she wanted to argue, but she overcame her hesitation and scampered up stairs, leaving her partner to fight the wildlife by herself.

It only took her a few more minutes to properly pick up all of the edible refuse. Jamie was just about to go inside when she looked up and saw Ryan leaning on the windowsill, her eyes deeply focused on the hills. She's watching out for me from afar, Jamie thought, resolved not to tease Ryan about something that would probably embarrass her--even though she desperately wanted to.

Jamie entered room to find Ryan lying on the bed, her hands laced together behind her head, looking as though she'd been right there the entire time. “Is everything good?”

“Yep.” She checked her watch and said, “This is pretty early for an O'Flaherty party to break up.”

“Yeah, it was. Not enough cousins, I guess. The boyos are always the last ones to leave.”

“I guess the girls went home early because there weren't enough boys here.”

“I think everyone had fun. I know I did. How about you?”

“Absolutely. Your teammates are great bunch of girls. It was really nice to have Jennie keep an eye on Caitlin, too. I love being in the pool with her, but it's hard to be a good hostess when most of your guests aren't swimming.”

“Someone is going to have to lay down the law. I just hope it's not me.” She put her fingers in her ears. “That kid really has a set of lungs.”

“She's not too spoiled. It's only the pool that she's obsessed with.”

“True. But I'm sure there will be more and more things as she gets older. It only gets harder.”

“That's one more reason I'm glad we can't get pregnant just by having sex. The thought of having a baby at this point in our lives scares me, but it doesn't scare me enough to always be careful. We'd probably both be pregnant by now.” She looked down at herself. “Speaking of sex, why am I fully dressed? Why has no one rushed to undress me?”

Ryan jumped up and headed for her, fingers twitching. Jamie got under one of her partner's outstretched arms and danced around to the other side of the bed. “It's no fun if I have to beg.”

Ryan knelt on the bed, her arms still extended. “It's lots of fun if you do it right. I promise.” Jamie started to walk towards the bed and Ryan reached for her, grasping empty air. “Oh, you're as quick as a cat.”

Giggling, she flew to the other side of the room followed by Ryan, who quickly had her pinned against a wall. There was a quiet knock on the door, and Ryan muttered, “I'll murder whoever that is.”

Jamie patted her cheek and went to answer. “Hi, Jen,” she said when she opened the door. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. It just sounded like you guys were doing something fun. The noise woke me up.”

“Oh, I'm sorry.” Jamie exited and put her arm around Jennie's shoulder and led her back to her room, which was, unfortunately, right next door. “We were just about to go to bed ourselves. We'll be quieter.”

“I can stay up,” she said, turning to look at the closed door. “We could play poker or something.”

“There's plenty of time to play tomorrow. Tonight you need to sleep.” She stood in the doorway, waiting for Jennie to get back into bed. “Sleep well. We'll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay. G'night, Jamie. The party was great.”

“I'm glad you had a good time. We did too.”

She leaned against the door after she closed it, breathing a sigh of relief that they hadn't been much further along in their plans. Going back into her own room, she whispered, “One more good reason not to have kids.”

Ryan walked over to her and wrapped her in her arms. “Oh, we're having kids. Lots and lots of kids. We'll just make sure we have a sound proof room.”

“And a big lock.”

“We'll negotiate on that.” Ryan leaned over and started to nuzzle her neck. “For now, we'll just keep trying to have a baby the hard way.”

Jamie gently pushed her away. “I can't relax knowing that Jennie can hear us.”

“Then let's move to another room. Or we could go to the pool house.” Just then they heard a long howl, then another that sounded as though it were a little further away. “What in the holy hell was that?”

“Uhm, a dog?” Jamie said, smiling ingenuously.

“Forget the pool house. I'm not going out there without a rifle.”

“You're so silly.” Jamie kissed her and then led her to the loveseat. “The other room is next to my mother's, and I'm not crazy about having her hear us either. We can chat for a few minutes while Jennie falls back to sleep.”

“Okay.” Ryan slid her arm behind Jamie's shoulders and pulled her close. “We can kiss while we wait.” She leaned in and delicately nibbled on a tempting ear.

“Uhm.” Jamie gently pushed Ryan back a few inches. “I have something I want to talk to you about.”

“Talk?” As she often did when Jamie suggested they have a serious talk, Ryan looked as though she were waiting for a beating. “Is this a good talk or a bad talk?”

She tapped her chin with her finger. “Mmm...any sane person would think it was a good talk. You? I'm not so sure.”

“Hmm.” Ryan scrunched her eyes almost closed. “What could it be?”

“Let me tell you and you don't have to guess.”

“True. But where's the game in that?”

“No game. But I want to get to the lovemaking quickly. It's easier if I just spill it.”

“But less fun,” Ryan said, pouting.

“Maybe for you, but I haven't had an orgasm tonight...or in the last week, you neglectful spouse. So my priorities are different than yours.”

“Point taken. Is this worse than the marijuana talk?”

“You might think so.” She got up and went to her desk, taking a few papers from it before she returned to sit next to Ryan. She took a deep breath and began, “Remember our stock game?”

“Of course.”

“Well, after it became clear that we had a good track record, I thought it might be a good idea to...”

Ryan looked as though she might squeal. Her eyes were wide when she said, “You didn't use real money. Tell me you didn't use real money.”

“I kinda did.” Jamie grinned sheepishly. “Actually, I totally did.”

“That was just a game! We don't know jack about investing!”

“Yes, we do. We did 20 times better than my trust funds did.”

“That's because that money is supposed to be safe. We were gambling!”

“Honey, I have enough money to gamble with some of it. And in this case, the bet paid off.” She handed the papers to Ryan with a flourish, watching as her eyes tried to focus on the numbers.

“Holy crap.” she mumbled. “ I can't believe you did this, but I can't argue with the numbers.” She smiled as she handed the papers back. “I want to be there when you show this to your investment guys.”

“I won't show them that,” Jamie said, handing the papers back. “That's your money. I funded both of our portfolios, but I kept them separate.”

Blanching, Ryan looked at the top of the first page. There, in black and white, was her own name--alone. “What? Why? How did you...?”

“I'm tired of you thinking of our money as mine. Since I can't break you of the habit, I thought it might be better if you had your own. That's your money, sparky. All yours. To do with as you will.”

Ryan looked like a cartoon character whose head moves to and fro so frequently that it becomes a blur. She finally settled her gaze on Jamie who repeated, “It's your money. You earned it.”

A few seconds passed and Jamie watched the color drain from her partner's face. She grasped Ryan's shoulder right before all of tension left her body and she slid to the floor with the softest of “thumps,” passed out cold.