Summer Secrets

Cherri Red Book 1

JT Harding

Published by JT Harding at Smashwords

Copyright 2011 JT Harding

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Also available at Smashwords by JT Harding

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Chapter 1

I sat on a rock blasted from the hillside pretending to play with my camera while I studied the blonde girl sitting across from me. She hunched over, knees pressed together to catch peel from a bright red apple, shavings curling to collect in her lap. The girl wore a short chiffon skirt, dusty blue with small red flowers, and a dark pink tank top. The straps of her top crossed and re-crossed the red straps of her bra, chasing each other to her shoulders. Her focus captivated me, her eyebrows pulled together, mouth pursed. The small penknife curled waxy red peel from the apple. The more she cut the more she wanted to finish without any breaking.

In the final stage she slowed right down. Her tongue appeared at the corner of her mouth, stripping five years from her age. All around us another sixty-odd eighteen year olds milled and chattered, but this girl and I were encased in a cocoon of silence. Might as well have been only the two of us on the side of this dusty road. The girl disturbed me, triggering emotions I wouldn’t understand until much later that summer.

The last sliver of peel fell away and her pretty mouth lifted into a grin showing white teeth, pink tongue sliding back inside as she glanced up to catch me staring and my face warmed. The girl’s grin broadened. She sliced a curve of apple and held it out.

“Want some?”

I shook my head. “After so much effort you deserve it all.”

“Tell the truth I’m not so hungry. I’m just trying to take my mind of needing to pee.” She laughed and withdrew the offered slice, popped it in her mouth and chewed. She cut another piece and this time I accepted.

“Me too,” I said.

“You need to pee?” Delighted, as though I’d deliberately planned this and the three cokes before we left Bakersfield had nothing to do with the pressure on my bladder.

“For the last hour,” I said.

“I’m going through the woods.”

“Me too.”

“I’m Cherri–with an i and two r’s.”

“I’m Dani. Also with an i but only one n. Pleased to meet you.”

“Likewise. D’you think they’re ever gonna stop gassing and start walking, ’cause if they don’t I’m gonna have to pull my panties down right here and let rip.”

I giggled and ate the piece of apple, firm and sweet in my mouth, the taste making me think of the apple taste on Cherri’s lips as she chewed another slice. That thought, forming sudden and complete in my head, confused me. I looked past Cherri’s shoulder searching for distraction. The camp owner and his wife, talking together as they had for the last ten minutes, didn’t seem any closer to a decision. Two buses were pulled up on the road, one with a flat and no spare, the second with a spare, but the spare was flat, and the bus couldn’t get past the first on the narrow dirt track. According to the man we were three miles from Pinecrest Lake. Their discussion was about whether to walk us all down the road together, or if the man might take a group of us along a trail through the woods which would cut out two miles, but meant climbing a ridge between here and camp. I hoped he was taking us along the trail, for the same reason as Cherri with an i. I needed to pee so bad my eyes were starting to float out their sockets.

Cherri cut another piece of apple and waved it to attract my attention. I reached over and took it, bit into a corner.

“What you going to be doing here, Dani?”

“Photography,” I said. Obvious, I guess. A battered Nikon F2 hung around my neck, and I wore a fisherman’s vest with pockets full of spare film, light meters and two extra lenses.

“Yeah? Who’d have thought. Fuck, I’m gonna bust if they don’t get their act together soon.”

“What about you? What’re you doing here?”

“Music. My guitar’s on the bus.”

I nodded, finding it easy to picture her as a musician, standing on stage wowing a crowd. She was short, not much more than five feet with honey-blonde hair cut to her chin, curling in the breeze coming up the valley, catching the almost noon sun and flashing white. Her eyes were bright blue, brighter than the sky. The filmy skirt was cut short and showed a whole lot of exquisite thigh and leg all the way down to neat sandals. Her tank top hugged her small breasts and I had to stop thinking about her breasts, about the rest of her too. I didn’t know what was happening. I’d never had thoughts about another girl the way I was having thoughts about this Cherri Red.

“You any good?” She interrupted my thoughts, confusing me for a moment.

“With this?” I lifted the Nikon.

She nodded.

“I think so.”

She nodded again. “Me too. Singing, that is. You go to college to study pictures?”

I shook my head. “Not yet. In the fall. I graduated high school a week ago.”

“Me too. I thought you were older. Thought you must be in college already.”

I wasn’t sure how to take that, still young enough to be flattered she thought me more mature than my eighteen years, old enough to worry I might be starting to age. I wondered how I must appear to her. Too tall, too skinny, dressed in gray combat pants and cotton shirt and the fishing vest, dusty hiking boots, long black hair tied back in a ponytail. I wasn’t beautiful like Cherri, and the thought comforted me. She was going to be chased by all the guys and I wouldn’t need to worry about this stupid crush I’d developed out of nowhere.

Behind her the conversation was resolving toward a decision. Mr. Simmons–call me Jeff–waved his arms in the air.

“Okay, okay–everybody listen up. Chrissy will take those who want to go with her along the road. I’m cutting across the ridge. Anyone who hasn’t got suitable footwear or is worried about a small climb can go with Chrissy. Anyone who wants to experience real country follow me.” He grinned and turned away, not waiting to check how the groups split.

I glanced at Cherri. “You ready?”

“And willing.” She rose from her rocky bench and cut another slice of apple, cut a second and handed it to me and I accepted, my fingers sticky from the juice of the earlier piece. We walked across the road and into the woods where a wide trail twisted through trees. Off to one side tall sequoia rose high, but here the trail cut through Douglas fir and Ponderosa pine. Even as I identified the species I experienced a touch of guilt at recognizing them. I blamed my Dad, always pointing stuff out, always asking did I remember what this was called, what that was, difficult to blame him for anything too much because he’d made me who I was, and I liked myself well enough to be grateful.

Cherri put her hand on my arm and held me back.

“Let ‘em get ahead, Dani. I need to swing off and empty my bladder before it empties itself.”

I laughed, lifting my hand to muffle the noise. “Good idea. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so much like I’m about to explode.”

She rolled her eyes as we slowed, allowing the other thirty or so kids in our group to draw ahead. As soon as they rounded a turn in the trail we stopped. Cherri looked to the right, me to the left, searching for some spot where we could slip aside and cut loose.

“How ’bout here?” Cherri stopped and pointed to a small clearing in the pines.

I glanced back, forward. “What if somebody comes along.”

“If we go here, yeah. But a kind of smaller track goes up the far side. We’ll be out of sight. Come on.”

We turned and strode up the track, narrow, overgrown, barely a track at all. I pushed past Cherri and kept moving up the slope. A good spot appeared behind a boulder that had broken loose and tumbled down the hillside. I turned off the path and practically ran to the side of the rock.

Cherri was still with me. I stopped.

“I’m gonna pee here,” I said.

“Sure. This is a good spot. I thought I’d pee here too. You don’t mind, do you?”

“Uh... I guess not.”

She laughed. “Come on, ain’t like I’ve got anything you haven’t seen before.” She stepped around me, turned away and squatted. She lifted her short chiffon skirt with the pretty red floral print and pulled her panties down to her knees. She obviously needed to pee as bad as me because the stream that emerged was violent. The sound of splash-ing made my bladder start letting go and I had no choice. Frantically I unzipped my cargo pants, pulled my panties down and squatted. Relief flooded my body while urine flooded the ground between my hiking boots.

In front of me Cherri finished. She tugged at a handful of grass to wipe herself.

“I hope this isn’t poison fuckin’ ivy.”

I laughed, relaxed now as my own stream continued. I could have set her mind at rest, knowing what poison ivy looked like, but it was too weird to carry out a conversation while squatting the way I was. I seemed to have been peeing for minutes. Cherri pulled her panties up and stood, letting her short skirt fall back to cover herself. As she turned I became aware how I was squatting in front of her, still loudly peeing. Cherri turned away, casual, as if she’d seen the sight a million times before.

Finally my stream became a trickle and stopped. I grabbed a handful of leaves and wiped, pulled myself together.

Cherri turned back when she heard me zipping.

“Well,” she said, “I guess we’ve been introduced now. I’m Cherri Red, but you know that.” She held her hand out and I stared at her fingers. She laughed. “Oops. Maybe we’ll leave the introductions till later.”

“I’m Dani Walker,” I said. We started back down the track. “Is your name really Cherri?” I glanced at her, glancing down because she was at least six inches shorter than me.

“Cheryl Redmond. That’s the name my folks gave me, but I prefer Cherri Red.”

“As in the fruit.”

“You got it.” She looked me up and down. “I guess you being a photographer explains the weird clothes.”

Weird clothes? “They’re practical.”

“That’s what I said. You’re pretty, Dani, but you don’t make much of yourself, do you?”

Right then Cherri confused me. As the summer went on I grew to realize she was incapable of holding back even the smallest emotion or thought, but this early I found her openness a little shocking.

I had no idea what to say, fumbled around and finally managed, “You’re pretty. I’m just ordinary.”

She laughed, delighted. “I am pretty fuckin’ hot, ain’t I? But so are you. Wear something short and sexy and you’d be a knockout, babe. You’re so tall, so elegant, and your hair…” She rolled her eyes and I laughed. I liked this Cherri Red. Not as much as I grew to like her later, but I liked her pretty fine from the start.

We reached the main track we seemed to have left an hour before and turned left. In reality we could only have been ten minutes, but now there was no sign of the others. We stood on the track and listened. Wind in the trees. Somewhere the sound of running water. Nothing else. No footsteps. No conversation. No shouts.

“D’you think this track goes all the way to camp?” Cherri asked.

“Dunno. I guess.”

“We could go back to the road, try and catch up with the others.”

“It must go to camp,” I said.

“Yeah. Surely does.” She went ahead. I watched her short skirt swing from side to side, the way her slim legs covered the ground. As we walked Cherri passed through occasional beams of sunlight which caught her honey-blonde hair. It seemed hotter in the woods than a moment before. I lifted the battered Nikon, released the lens cap and fired off three fast shots.

Cherri heard the shutter and turned, saw me with the camera raised. She grinned and I caught two more shots. Then she pushed her leg out and posed and I got three more and she laughed.

“Is there any film in that thing?”

“Sure.” I wound on ready for the next shot, replaced the lens cap. The camera swung between my boobs as I caught up with her. My fisherman’s vest chinked and tinkled with spare cans of film, two light meters, one pocket weighed down by a 200mm lens, another by a 35. The camera itself carried an 85mm lens, my favorite length, ideal for portraits and candid shots. I knew all about cameras, had known about them since I could walk.

Cherri waited for me to pass and I glanced back.

She waved me on and I frowned.

“Go on. I want to stare at your ass now.”

The way my mouth dropped open made her laugh wildly, the sound filling the forest and echoing back from a bluff.

Chapter 2

Ten minutes more walking and the path started getting seriously steep. We stopped, hands on knees as we caught our breath. Cherri leaned forward, the front of her blouse opening to reveal her red bra. She had small, neat breasts, not at all like mine, and I envied her their firmness.

“I can still hear that stream,” Cherri said.

“Uh-huh.”

“Isn’t the camp on a lake?”

I nodded.

“And water runs downhill.”

“Last time I looked.”

“Come on then.” She turned and stepped off the trail, pushing through ferns.

“Cherri!”

She stopped. “What?”

“D’you have any idea where you’re going?”

“Sure. Saving us some serious sweat. Come on, sweet buns, stream’s this way.”

Sweet buns?

I waited until she was almost out of sight, fighting myself, knowing I should stay on the trail, then pushed my hair back from my face and started after her.

We found the stream at the bottom of the slope. The water ran wide and clear over rock, but no path existed, forcing us to climb over fallen trees and push through fern and bramble which grabbed at my legs, making me grateful for the canvas pants I wore. Somehow Cherri seemed to avoid the snags and her bare legs remained unmarked. I studied them pretty hard whenever I thought she wouldn’t notice.

Despite the lack of sunlight beneath the tree cover the air lay hot and close.

A second stream joined the first and we had to jump across, Cherri laughing as her foot slipped and she got her sandals wet. For sure she wasn’t dressed for hiking, and I wondered why she’d chosen to come cross-country instead of staying with the larger group on the road. She could have peed anywhere, forest or roadside.

It must have gone noon when the stream fell across a shelf of rock and dropped twenty feet into a pool.

“Wow!” Cherri stopped, hands on hips. We stood side by side at the top, staring down to where water tumbled into a wide pool. Fish darted through the current and a beam of sunlight framed the clearing which ran back from one side of the water. I lifted my camera and ran off a few shots, but I wanted to get down and shoot back up to where we now stood. I went to the side until I found a way down. I stood at the edge of the pool, working out the best angles, when Cherri came down after me. She came backwards, toes finding purchase, fingers gripping at holds, her light skirt failing to conceal tiny white panties. I concentrated on getting some good shots.

Cherri joined me on the edge of the pool, fanning her face with her hand. “Fuck, Dan, that water looks good.”

“Beautiful,” I said. No one had ever called me Dan. My Mom called me Danielle, never anything else. My Dad called me Dani, and so did my brother. I liked the way Dan sounded when Cherri said it, hoping she’d call me Dan again.

“I’m gonna go in. I’m so fuckin’ hot I’m melting here. You coming?”

“Um.”

She didn’t wait for a decision, unbuttoning her blouse and slipping it off. She undid the button on her skirt and let that drop too. Cherri bent over and picked both items up and hung them over a bush. I already had a notion of how attractive she was, but now this new reality took my breath away. Short and perfectly proportioned with long, lean legs, slim and hollowed inside. Hips flaring from a flat belly. Ass round and smooth, breasts perfectly sculpted. Blonde hair cut short, not quite reaching her silky shoulders. For once her face showed no amusement and I stared into her bright blue eyes set above a delicate nose and full mouth.

“Careful the wind don’t change, Dan, or your face might stay that way.”

I snapped my mouth shut. Cherri stared into the pool, down at herself, shrugged. She stepped into the water.

“Ah fuck it’s cold!”

I laughed and sat on a rock, lifted the camera, stopped.

“You gotta go in now,” I said. “You promised.”

“Did not.”

“You did. I heard you.”

She glanced back, caught the camera half raised.

“You gonna take a picture of me nekkid, Dan?”

I lifted the Nikon and fired off a single shot, knowing instantly it was good, Cherri framed against the water, the sun behind making blonde hair halo around her gorgeous face. I’d fix the backlighting in the darkroom.

“You’re not naked.”

“I could be.” She grinned.

It seemed we’d been friends for years, not an hour.

“Go swim, or frolic, or whatever you’re planning to do.”

“You’re not coming in too?”

“You told me the water’s freezing.”

She fell back, a huge splash scattering trout, some so startled they leapt clear of the surface. When she came up her hair stuck across her face. “Not so cold. Come on, Dan, try.”

I was shy now, not as open as Cherri, not used to showing myself. She backstroked into the pool, her bra and panties turned transparent, a shadow between her legs, round circles of aureolae inside her bra. The cold sharpened her nipples into small peaks, pressing against the lace.

“Dani’s a coward! Dani’s a coward!” Her chant taunted me.

“Am not!”

“Prove it.”

I stood, laid the Nikon on the rock. “I will.” I slipped out of the vest and unbuttoned my shirt fast before I changed my mind, sat again to untie my boots.

Cherri whistled. “Hey, great tits babe. Really great tits.”

I resisted the urge to cover myself. “They’re too big.”

Cherri laughed. “Not from where I am. Perfect, I’d say. Do they droop when you take your bra off?”

“What?” I stopped with the second boot half off.

“I said, do they droop? You know, do they hang on your belly when you let ’em loose?” She pulled a face. “Or do they flop even further? Oh, gross. Don’t show me, I don’t wanna know.”

“They do not!” I stood up and unzipped my cargo pants for the second time that day.

“No,” Cherri said, more serious. “I guess they don’t.” She stared openly at my body as I tiptoed to the edge of the pool. The urge to crouch over and cover myself almost overwhelmed me. I fought my instincts because Cherri was so relaxed about herself and I wanted to be the same.

I stepped into the water and gasped.

“You said it wasn’t cold.”

“Not cold, exactly. Bracing is the word.” She splashed water at me, making me jump back. “Come on, once you’re under you’ll be fine.”

“Move over then.”

She grinned, pulled a face and crossed her eyes. I took a breath and dove in beside her, deliberately making a big splash. Cherri’s hand touched me as she tried to slap my butt. I dived below the surface and opened my eyes, rock and weed beneath me in the depths of the pool. I kicked on, staying down until the force of the waterfall pushed against my body before kicking to the surface. Cherri still on the other side, watching as I surfaced.

“Wow,” she said.

“Wow what?”

She shook her head. “Just wow.”

The water was freezing. Gooseflesh stippled me all over, but it felt good to cool down after the heat of walking, although I couldn’t stand the cold long. I stroked back across the pool and pulled myself out.

“Is that all?”

“I’m cold now. But you were right, it was good.”

Cherri stared at me again and I imagined my own underwear, as transparent as hers. I wore a good sensible sports bra which didn’t show my nipples as much as hers, despite them being tight with cold, but my dark pubic hair would be on clear display through my white panties.

“You’d better come out, Cherri. They’ll be wondering where we are.”

“If they even miss us,” she said, but she emerged from the water and stood beside me. “I’m all wet now.”

“Me too.”

“Ah well, all my own fault, as usual.” She walked across to her blouse and skirt, reached back and unclipped her bra, bent and stripped her wet panties off. Her perfect ass bloomed before my eyes and I glimpsed her small breasts sway away from her body as she leaned over. As Cherri buttoned her blouse she turned back to me presenting a flash of her bush, more red than blonde, making no move to hide herself and I knew I’d have to do exactly the same thing in front of her if I wanted us to remain friends.

I unclipped my bra and let my breasts loose. Cherri stared at them. She shook her head as though I’d answered a question. They didn’t sag; but too big, I thought, the curve beneath too deep, but I’d known plenty of boys in school wanted to get their hands on them.

I leaned over and stripped my soaking panties off, stood and wrung them out, trembling inside but refusing to display shyness to Cherri. My pubic hair had matted flat against my crotch. I knew how it thinned and clung to me after a shower. The hair on my head was black shot through with natural streaks of chestnut, an inheritance from my Italian mother; down below was jet black, the hair so fine my bush turned to little more than a shadow when wet.

Cherri stepped into her skirt and buttoned up, so natural and self-assured I envied her confidence. I walked past her, pulled my own cotton shirt on and the fishing vest. I leaned to one side and squeezed water from my hair, trails of water dripping down to land on my naked hip. Cherri watched as I deliberately displayed for her. I didn’t know what was happening. I had never done anything like this before, but in that sun washed glade I felt different, wanton and aroused and wanting to display myself to her. Yes, I admitted, more than turned on, something deeper than mere arousal running through me. Cherri stared at me openly, her face expressionless, but a glitter inside those blue eyes.

Finally I stepped into my cargo pants and pulled on my socks and boots. I picked up my underwear and twisted water from it, reached back and tucked the damp undergarments into the wide pocket on the back of the vest intended for fish, but which did a pretty good job as a stash for all kinds of things. Cherri picked her own wet things up, letting them trail from her hand.

I reached out. “Give them to me.”

She stepped over, handed the wet things to me and I added them in with mine. We’d sort everything out later.

Cherri stood beside me. “That was fun.” Not being clear whether she meant the swim or the show.

“It was,” I said, meaning both.

She held her hand out. “I guess we can say hello now.”

I laughed and took her hand. A sudden wild thought came into my head that I wanted to kiss her too, but that would spoil everything so I stared away past her shoulder.

“I wish I had brown skin like yours. How d’you get so tanned?”

“Tanned? I’m not tanned.”

“Oh honey, you are.” Cherri laid her arm against mine, her skin alabaster against my caramel. “That’s not tanned?”

“I guess it’s my genes. I don’t sunbathe, but my Mom’s Italian. She’s the same color. Darker, if anything.”

“Sexy. You’re real sexy.”

“Huh.”

“Suit yourself. Doesn’t change what you are though.”

“We’d better see if we can find our way back.” Growing uneasy with the way the conversation was headed.

Cherri sighed. “I guess.”

Chapter 3

The stream offered false hope. After following the tumbling water for another ten minutes it curved back and ran the wrong way. We turned toward the sun and started to climb along the side of the ridge, needing to go south.

Cherri walked ahead of me, the sound of her steps coming back on the breeze as she dislodged small stones. I followed behind, dropping back without realizing until I paused to catch my breath. Or so I thought. I put my hands on my hips and looked up to watch Cherri climbing over a high ledge on the path. She reached up with both hands, lifted her right leg and jammed her foot onto the ledge. Her short skirt offered no protection from my eyes and I gazed up inside its gauzy material, gazed directly at Cherri’s naked ass, caught a glimpse of pinkness that could only be her pussy. My heart beat fast in my chest. I hadn’t meant to spy on Cherri this way. Or had I? The image of Cherri walking ahead in the short dress, no panties beneath, had been lodged in my mind since leaving the pool. Also intimately aware of my own nakedness beneath my cargo pants, of soft cotton brushing against my pussy, of my breasts swinging loose beneath my t-shirt. I wondered if Cherri knew what effect she was having. Did the breeze play beneath her skirt, caressing upward to touch soft pubic hair? I stared, unable to tear my gaze from the sight of her bush, fine and silky, nowhere near dense enough to hide the sweet, pink slit nestling between her legs.

“Hey, are you coming or not?”

Cherri startled me and I glanced away, my face hot, not just from the climb.

“Yeah, I’m coming.”

“I think we’ll see the camp from the top of this ridge.”

I glanced back at her, eyes skittering over her legs and away, afraid of the emotions filling me. Emotions? God no, stronger than any emotion I had ever known! This was already becoming passion. I needed to think of something else, think of boys instead of girls. I tried to remember the night a week earlier when I’d last gone out with my kind-of boyfriend Pete. We’d known each other for years, been friends the entire time until this Spring he asked me on a date. I’ve no idea what made me say yes, because though I liked him, I didn’t think I liked him in any boyfriend-girlfriend way I guess he wanted us to develop into. Sure, he was good looking, his body toned and he made me laugh. He’d always been able to make me laugh. I suppose I said yes because I’d never had a boyfriend. All my friends going out with boys for years, and I wanted them to stop teasing me.

Daddy’s girl, they called me. And no, not that way. I worshiped my dad, always talking about him, what he’d done, the places he’d been, newspapers and magazines that printed his photographs, awards he’d won. I inherited my hair and looks from Mom and my love of photography from Dad. Everyone said I looked like Mom, expecting the inner me to reflect her as well. When they compared me to her I didn’t believe them, because Mom was beautiful; classic Italian dark features, honeyed skin and dark, dark eyes. I guess I had the same color hair, almost the same skin, but no way could I be like Mom. I was like my dad, thinking the way I imagined he did. I wanted to be him, wanted to follow in the path he’d made for himself from scratch, believing myself lucky he’d made a path I could follow.

I tried to think about Pete, tried to think about home, about anything other than Cherri’s naked ass wiggling up the path ahead of me, flashing pale every time I looked. When she stopped and sat on a rock I kept going and pushed past her roughly, wanting to get ahead, wanting to put space between us because the thoughts blooming in my head scared me. I wasn’t aware I’d ever had any kind of thing for girls, now Cherri all of a sudden making me doubt myself, to question the lack of boyfriends until Pete. Although there’d been one other, here at summer camp, two years before. I didn’t want to think about him, not ever, not after what he’d done to me.

The final date before I came away I’d let Pete touch my boobs, afraid. Afraid he might be like Greg, afraid things would go too far again and even if I said no he wouldn’t believe me. But Pete wasn’t like Greg, which I suppose is why I let him ask me out. After I allowed his hands to explore my breasts outside my sweatshirt for a while, his fingers feeling good stroking me, I almost let him do more. We both knew we wouldn’t see each other for ten weeks while I was at camp–this time as a counselor rather than a kid–and after we’d been kissing for a while in the back of his car and he started pressing his obvious hard-on into my side I turned away, afraid. Greg had made me afraid of all men. I’d hoped I might be able to forget, but Pete’s arousal triggered a growing sense of panic.

Pete made it obvious what he wanted. I wasn’t as innocent as I pretended, and girls talked. Jane Peters told me what she did with her boyfriend, claiming they’d gone all the way a year ago and I believed her. Jane was hot, and her boyfriend played on the soccer team and had a killer body and great butt. She told me they’d fucked, and she’d let him put his cock inside her mouth until he came, and she liked the feeling, liked the taste when he spurted in her mouth. She told me he did the same to her, licked her pussy and made her come, making me jealous because Jane so obviously enjoyed it. Sex was supposed to be that way, something wondrous, not something to fear.

When my turn came I was for damn sure not going to put Pete’s cock in my mouth, or anywhere else. I was aroused, wanted something, not sure what, or how, or where. Pete too much the young gentleman to press me.

“Mom said I got to be home by ten,” was all I said.

Pete nodded. “I’m gonna miss you, Dani.”

“I’m going to miss you too, Pete.”

“I wish you didn’t have to go. We could be doing all kinds of stuff this summer.” I understood what he meant, but it just wasn’t going to happen.

“I have to go to camp.”

I don’t know if Pete thought we were going to last, but I was realistic. He was a good friend, fun to be with, but I was going to study photojournalism at USC, and Pete to work for his dad. This might be the last time we went out on a date, and I was glad I didn’t let him do what he obviously wanted to in the car. A lot of girls would’ve offered a farewell gift. Let them. Not me.

Pete wasn’t like Greg. He nodded and climbed in front and drove me home. At my door I let him kiss me again, but he made no further attempt to touch me and after he’d driven away I felt bad. Bad for Pete, for myself too. I needed to get over this fear. What happened had been a long time ago. I couldn’t allow those events to ruin my life. Time created distance, made me think perhaps it hadn’t been as bad as I originally thought. I’d been an unwilling partner to what happened at the end of camp two years before, but I had gone along with Greg up to a point, guilty, probably giving the wrong signals, more than half believing it had all been my fault.

The sound of Cherri breathing hard faded as I pushed on up the hillside, the top of the ridge close. Clothes stuck to me where I dripp-ed sweat and when I reached the real top after the three false tops we’d climbed so far I stopped and let the breeze coming over the far side catch under my hair and cool me. I pulled my shirt loose and flapped so air went up inside, cool against the underside of my breasts, my nipples growing stiff. I thought I might need to avoid Cherri as much as possible the next ten weeks, something about her so enchanting that if I let even a little of my emotions show I’d get kicked out of camp.

“Hey, Dan, anything there?” Cherri came and stood beside me, her shoulder almost touching my arm. I looked down at her, the top of her head level with my shoulder.

I pointed to where a group of buildings sat on the edge of a lake. “I guess that’s camp.”

She took a few steps and looked down the slope. “It’s not so steep this side. I think we can get down easy.”

I stayed on top of the ridge, watching her, hating myself for watching her but incapable of preventing myself. The breeze plucked at her short little skirt, the light material billowing and lifting and the top of her thighs flashed into view until she idly brushed her skirt back down.

She glanced back at me and grinned. “You think they’re gonna be mad at us for being late?”

“I guess.”

She nodded. “Race you down.” She laughed and took long strides down the slope, each foot kicking up a plume of dust to be tugged away by the breeze. I watched her, so confident, small feet moving sure and precise across the rough hillside. I gritted my teeth and followed, awkward and clumsy and unlovely.

Chapter 4

I guess we deserved the bawling out we got when we arrived. As we walked into camp Jeff Simmons was driving away in a jeep, probably to fix the blown tire on the bus, and Chrissy Simmons stood on the office porch waving him off. If she hadn’t been there we might have sneaked in under the radar, but she saw us coming out of the woods and called out. She stood us below the porch and stared down with her arms folded before saying we were totally irresponsible for wand-ering off the way we had, and we should have kept up, and in any case if we couldn’t follow a simple trail we should have gone along the road with her.

When the bawling out ended she glared at us a moment longer before her face relaxed, and I realized the anger had been a pretense. “You can go get cleaned up, Cheryl, but I want a word with you, Dani.”

I glanced at Cherri and she said, “See you later.” I felt bereft as she left, as though we had been friends for years, not hours. Camp was full of other kids–though I’d need to stop thinking of us as kids–many I’d met in previous years, plenty I got on well with, but some-thing about Cherri touched me in a place no-one ever had before. I wanted to hang on to that, even if it did confuse and scare the hell out of me.

“Come inside a moment, Dani.”

I followed Chrissy into the small camp office. Two desks took up over half the floor space, but instead of sitting behind one Chrissy leaned against the edge of the desk.

“Is something wrong, Mrs Simmons?”

She smiled. “Nothing, Dani, you’re not in any trouble. Well, no more than you already are.” She tried to put on a frown but that moment had passed. “I’ve got a favor to ask.”

“Uh-huh?” I perched on the other desk. Behind Chrissy Simmons most of the plank wall was covered in a huge chart colored to indicate the different games, sports and activities taking place over the next ten weeks. The schedule looked busy. I knew from previous years how busy.

“You remember Alan Peters who ran the photography class when you were here, don’t you?”

“Sure.” Alan was a retired schoolteacher who’d organized the teaching and darkroom ever since I’d been coming. He’d been running the classes for over twenty years, a good guy even if he hadn’t been able to teach me anything I didn’t already know, but then I’m not the kind of kid the classes are aimed at.

“His wife called last week. Alan’s been taken ill. He doesn’t sound too good. She says…” Chrissy tailed off, perhaps realizing she might be about to tell me more than I wanted or needed. “Anyway... we’ve tried to find a substitute, but at such short notice we’ve had no luck. Then Jeff said why not ask you.”

“Ask me what, Chrissy?”

“If you’d be our photography coordinator this year.”

“Me?”

“It’s a lot to ask, but you and I are both aware you know more about taking pictures than Alan ever did. The only thing we’re not sure about is can you cut the teaching. You’re only a little older than some of the campers. Can you help us out, Dani?”

I shook my head. “I’m not sure.”

“We’d appreciate you trying. And we’ll keep looking for someone while you’re filling in. And you’ll be a coordinator rather than a counselor so the pay’s better, and you won’t have to stay in a cabin. Say yes, Dani, please?”

“I… I guess I can try. But I want to go into a cabin like everyone else.” I figured I could cut the teaching. My Dad would definitely tell me I could manage being in charge, but I wasn’t yet ready to be treated like the older coordinators yet.

“We can do that.” Chrissy grinned. “In fact, it would be great otherwise I’d need to change someone else around to cover your cabin. Thanks Dani. Thanks a lot.”

Chrissy rose off the edge of the desk, the interview over. I hesitated a moment, on the point of asking if I could buddy up with Cherri. I figured I might be able to swing it if I asked, but something held me back.

When I came out the office Cherri had already fetched her stuff from the bus and waited for me, reading the counselor assignments on the notice board.

“Look, Dan. You’re in number seven.” Cherri’s finger pointed out my name. She’d found it before me.

“You mean Eagle,” I said. The girl’s cabin were named after native birds, the boys after animals. Cherri rolled her eyes. Not into the spirit of summer camp, obviously.

I scanned the sheets of paper stapled to the cork board, frantically trying to find her name, but she moved her hand. “And I’m in fourteen. Sorry, Cardinal. That’s a Bummer. I hoped we’d be in the same dorm.”

“Yeah.” I wondered how she meant that, wondered if she’d discovered the same instant friendship I had.

“You got anything like paper in one of those gazillion pockets, Dan?”

“Sure.” I knew exactly where, pulled out a small notebook with a hard black card cover. “You want a pen too?”

“Duh.”

I found the pen as well, handed both to Cherri.

She opened the book up, reading for a moment at what I’d written inside and glanced at me. “Is this some kind of code? Where’re the juicy revelations about your love life? All I got is fuckin’ numbers.”

I pointed to the top of the page she held open. “Date, time, f-stop, shutter speed, film speed. Anything else I need when I develop a film. I do it all the time.”

She gave me a look like I had a screw loose, turned the pages until she found a fresh sheet and started writing down the names of the other counselors in her dorm and mine.

“What are you doing?”

Her tongue once more poked prettily from the corner of her mouth as she wrote. “We’re gonna go find out if any of these girls want to swap places. Then me and you can bunk together.”

“You can’t do that, Cherri,” I said. “This is your first time, isn’t it?”

“First time for what?”

“At camp.” I was an old hand, already been three times as a student, this my first time as counselor but the rules were clear enough. “You can’t just change places with someone. It’s not allowed. The managers have placed us all based on our specialisms.”

“Shit.” Cherri kept writing names, working her way through the other counselors on the list.

“I’m going to find my stuff,” I said, moving away. Much as I liked Cherri from the first, I was uneasy about her willingness to break the rules. I’ve always been big on rules.

She glanced at me, still writing. “Wait five, Dan. Your bus hasn’t come in yet anyway. I’ll come with you when I’ve got ‘em all down.”

I leaned against the plank wall and crossed my ankles, watched her turn back to her task.

“Why are you bothering if you can’t swap?”

“I like to know who’s who.”

“You’ll know everyone well enough in a couple of weeks. How come you’ve never been to camp before?”

She shot me a glance, her eyes skittering away from mine, the first time I’d seen her anything other than self-assured.

“Wasn’t really an option until now.” Her voice cool and I wondered what I’d stirred up. I was stupid sometimes. Stupid and lucky. My family were well off and I never thought about how much camp had cost. Thousands, big money for most people, but we’d always had money.

Cherri went back to her task and I looked away, watching some of the other counselors walking from cabins down to the low flat block where the staff lounge and refectory were based. No sign yet of the other bus.

Roughly hewn wood cabins sprawled up the slopes either side of a small river running into the lake. All the staff and eating facilities lay alongside the river. Two wooden bridges crossed over, one almost at the lakeshore, a second higher up. The boys were housed on the north slope, the girls on the south. A mix of native trees grew between each of the cabins. Out on the lake empty pontoons waited for canoes and sailing boats. Later in the week when the kids arrived they would be thick with a multitude of craft. My stomach rumbled and I realized I hadn’t eaten anything since a very early breakfast. Other than the pieces of apple Cherri had fed me.

“OK. Done. We can go now.”

“I’m hungry. Want to see if we can find something to eat?”

“Lead on–you’re the expert. Shame we can’t bunk up together, but you don’t get away from me that easy.”

I smiled. That sounded fine with me.

I thought about making our way to the refectory just as the bus, flat repaired, drove in and I detoured to fetch my stuff.

“Aw, Dan, I’m hungry,” Cherri complained.

“I’ve got to do this. You go ahead. I’ll catch you later.”

“I’m not going without you.” Cherri rolled her eyes and I wondered how much of her confidence was a front. “Get your things and come back down. I’ll go look at the lake and wait for you.”

Other counselors–I needed to stop thinking of them as kids, even if that’s how I still thought of myself–came out the dining hall and we milled around, talking and catching up while Jeff and the driver tugged sacs and cases from the cavernous trunk. I saw my two rucksacks get thrown out, in opposite directions of course. I grabbed the Karrimor by a strap and dragged it through the melee, went back for the ARVN sac that Dad had handed down to me. It looked bedraggled and coarse but still my pride and joy. He’d spent eighteen months in Vietnam following the troops, recording their lives and deaths with his Nikon. The ARVN was an American made sac supplied to the south Vietnamese troops, but frequently used by ours because it was superior to their standard kit. Dad had been presented with his two months in, after the troop he’d been assigned to got caught in a firefight. Dad didn’t tell me much more than that, although he had shown me some of the pictures he took that day. The sac had been given him after the boy wearing it was killed. Most people might think that bad luck, an omen, or creepy. Dad considered it an honor the soldiers respected him enough to pass on something of value from a fallen comrade. The sac still had a ragged hole where the bullet passed through which nobody was going to attempt to repair. I didn’t have to imagine how Dad felt when he’d been given the rucksack because I experienced exactly the same emotions when he casually handed it to me two years back and said, “You might as well use this now, Dani, my hiking days are past.”

Chapter 5

I dropped my things in the cabin and walked back to the lakeshore. No sign of Cherri, so I stood for a while watching a breeze work the surface. I had my camera, of course, and framed some shots without pressing the shutter. I had plenty of film, but ten weeks is a long time and I didn’t want to use everything the first week. Back in my room I had an aluminum can holding raw film stock, the same my Dad used and he’d made me a present of the can holding the equivalent of 100 standard film spools. He’d taught me years ago how to load film without exposing it, and I had a small store of empty spools ready to use. In addition I’d brought ten rolls of Kodachrome high quality transparency film I was saving for when I needed or found something that needed color. I would’ve liked to bring a second camera body so one could always be loaded with each film stock, but I had enough stuff already and Dad persuaded me I didn’t need more. His advice had always been good. It ought to be, he’d been a professional photographer since age nineteen and I listened to everything he told me. I’d learned more from him than all my other teachers put together. I know it isn’t cool to think your dad’s brilliant, but mine is–he’s not like my friend’s dads at all, they all act like parents, but I can talk to mine like a best friend. Mom gives him hell, tells him he spoils me, but he never changes, always there for me. Mom’s a sweetie too, but my brother Gordon is her favorite, and that’s okay with me because I’m my Dad’s. Don’t get me wrong, Mom loves me too, just not as much. Perhaps there’s truth in what they say, dads and daughters, moms and sons, I don’t know, but I guess in our family that’s the way it is.

After a while I walked back from the shore, pretending I wasn’t looking for Cherri. I met at least ten kids from previous camp and we stopped and caught up, but all the time my eyes were scanning the figures wandering the site until finally I recognized her unmistakable bounce, the swing of her skirt, and I excused myself and went across. She caught sight of me coming and grinned and something relaxed inside me. I’d never been quite as comfortable with anyone as fast as I was with Cherri.

“Hey, Dan, I been looking for you everywhere. Where’d you go?”

“You were looking for me?”

“Sure.” Her face fell like she was about to burst into tears. “You don’t wanna be my friend anymore?”

“Course I do.” My stomach started making flips.

“Ha!” Cherri doubled over, laughing. “You thought I was serious. I got ya!”

I grinned, relief flooding me. “Are you always like this?”

“Like what?”

I shook my head and fell into step beside her. “Where we going?”

“Check out the talent. There are boys here.” She laughed and I joined in, our shoulders bumping as we made our way to the refectory, stopping at the office on the way past because Chrissy Simmons had posted the staff allocations up. It was weird seeing my name in the short column of coordinators and Cherri raised an eyebrow at me.

“I’ll tell you over dinner.” Something about the fresh air, something about the excitement, but I needed food.

As we walked into the refectory they were starting to close up. Most of the other counselors had already eaten and gone. The kitchen staff were clearing the last trays of food, but took pity on us and piled pasta and chicken in a cream sauce on our plates. We took them and sat at a long table which looked out over the lake. The sun had moved across and shadows from the high ridge on the far side stretched toward us. As we ate and talked the shadow crept slowly across the water.

“So fill me in, Dan. What happens next?”

“You’ve never done this before, have you?”

Cherri shook her head, delicately placed a morsel of food in her mouth and chewed. The sun still showed above the jagged ridge across the lake and caught her blonde hair, trapped itself in her long lashes, highlighting the fine down on her cheeks and upper lip and I caught myself staring and looked away.

“I told you. This is my first ever time.”

“So what made you want to do it? I know what camp’s like, but you have no idea.”

“You make it sound like a made a mistake.” Cherri sorted through the pasta and chicken pieces, selecting another small fork full.

“Not a mistake. But you might find some things a bit of a shock. You’re not going to get any time to yourself. Camp’s pretty full on.”

She nodded. “They told me that when I applied. But I guessed they were trying to put off the wimps.”

I shook my head, picking at my own food. Typical camp food–carbohydrate heavy, tasty in a vague way, but inside ten days I’d be heartily sick of pasta and chicken.

“You’re not going to get enough sleep,” I said. “Some of the kids will be real cuties and some will be little shits. You’re not going to be able to shower every day and after a while you’ll probably stop noticing how bad you smell. It’s tough, but fun.”

“Fun?” She looked at me.

“Yeah, fun.” I looked back.

“Shit–doesn’t sound like fun.”

“It will be. Go with the flow. Kick back and enjoy and you’ll be fine.”

“You’re gonna help me out, Dan?”

“Sure. I’d like that.”

“Me too. I bet you know most of the others here, don’t you?”

I nodded, pushing my still mostly full plate away. If I ate everything put in front of me, even with all the games and exercise, I’d go back home forty pounds heavier.

“At least half. I met most of them when we were campers. Some of the older ones have been counselors from the start.”

“And you’re really going to be a–what–a coordinator?”

“Seems like.”

“Is that a big deal?”

I shrugged. “I don’t think so. I get a bit more money, but to be honest I was practically running the photography course last year anyway. I don’t think–oh shit!” I cut myself off as a tall figure entered the refectory. He hesitated, looking around at the scattering of people left and I hunched my shoulders down hoping he wouldn’t notice me. A vain hope.

Cherri caught me staring and started to turn.

“No, don’t, he’ll see you,” I hissed.

“Who. Why?” And of course, she turned right round and stared at Greg Hansen. Good looking, charming, evil Greg Hansen.

He raised a hand and waved, strolled across to our table and sat down across from me, right next to Cherri, close enough for their shoulders to touch. A surge of jealousy ran sharp through me. Cherri was my friend. Cherri gazed at him, interest in her eyes. I’d worn that look once, before I discovered the real Greg.

“Dani. I thought you wouldn’t be back this year.” His tone soft, failing to betray the venom that lay beneath the surface. Greg went around telling everyone how much I’d hurt him. The truth was different, but I kept the truth to myself.

“Get lost, Greg.” I wasn’t going to stand for him thinking everything was fine, but he laughed as though I’d made a joke, leaned over the table. He was good looking, bright hazel eyes and dark hair lending him a slightly exotic air as though he came from a mélange of mixed races, his skin a light coffee color, fingers long on the table top.

“I thought we could be friends again this year, Dani.”

“Wrong.”

He smiled, cocking his head at Cherri. “You believe this girl? Has she told you what we shared?”

“We shared nothing, Greg. Nothing at all.”

He sat back with a sigh and leaned in toward Cherri, favoring her with one of his seductive smiles. I recognized the expression, the self-same one I’d fallen for myself.

“I think Dani’s in some kind of denial… sorry, we’ve not been introduced. I’m Greg Hansen.” He offered his hand and I knew Cherri was about to be taken in, like everyone else.

“Cherri Red,” she said, her fingers pale and small inside his, Greg holding on longer than politeness allowed but Cherri didn’t pull away.

“Cool name.”

“It’s not my real name, but I like it.”

“I should think so.”

I couldn’t stay. I picked up my tray and mumbled something about needing to check on the classroom. I walked from the table without looking back, dumped my tray in the dirty stack and left. I was cold inside, cold with an anger that filled me, making my fingers tremble. I shouldn’t have left Cherri on her own with Greg, but I’d been unable to stay any longer. I’d catch her later. Warn her off.

***

As I walked up the hill to my cabin the sun had dropped below the western peaks but light continued to fill the sky. Down on the lakeshore some of the other counselors had gathered deadwood from under the trees and a fire struggled to catch, white smoke drifting across the lake. Inside the cabin I began pulling clothes from my sac, hanging shirts and pants on the row of hangers swinging from a bare rail, piled panties and socks and tee’s on the slatted shelf above the rail. I’d left my door open and as I started to calm down heard voices from the room across the corridor. I stood and listened, trying to make out the conversation, but the voices were soft, only noise with no sense reaching me.

I padded across to the door and knocked. The conversation stopped and a moment later a tall black girl opened the door and grinned at me.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hi. I’m Dani. I guess we’re sharing the cabin.”

“I’ve seen you around before. You were here last year, weren’t you?”

I nodded. I vaguely recognized the girl. The camp was pretty mixed and had been for as long as I’d been coming. We were in California, after all, and people rubbed along a whole lot better here than they did in Alabama or just about any other place in America. Pretended to, anyway. “You’re… Terri?”

“Tonya,” she said, sticking her hand out. I shook, her skin warm against mine.

“And I’m Holly,” said the girl lying on her bed. She raised a hand and waved and I waved back once Tonya let go of me. I recognized Holly too, but neither girl had been in any of the groups I’d mixed with before.

“You two sharing? I’m afraid I never thought, I just took that room.”

“We wanted to share.” Tonya stepped back from the doorway, offering an invitation which I took. I sat on the other bed. Tonya dropped onto Holly’s legs, raising a yell and earning a slap on her back. Holly drew her knees up and Tonya crossed her legs, leaned against the rough plank wall. They were both grinning, but grinning mostly at each other, and I felt an intruder. Both girls were friendly enough, but I got an impression they would be even happier with each other.

I scooted back on the bed and pumped them about what they wanted out of this summer. Neither girl was a specialist. They came for the fun, the adventure, and the chance to meet people. I talked about my photography and Holly said she’d always liked the idea and might come down to the classes. After fifteen minutes the conversation started slowing down and a couple of minutes later I made an excuse and returned to my room. I closed the door softly, leaned against it and a moment later their door snicked shut as well. In the brief time I’d been with them I gained an impression more than just friendship was going on. If so, good for them, and I certainly wasn’t going to tell anyone else. Romance blossomed all over camp, from the youngest to the oldest, anything more than romance strictly frowned on, but everyone aware things got pretty hot and physical at times. However, sharing and more than sharing would be grounds for expulsion.

I didn’t want to think about such things. Now I’d calmed down guilt surfaced for leaving Cherri on her own with Greg, ashamed I’d cut and run instead of standing up to him. I’m not a confrontational person, always taking the easy escape when one was offered, but this time I’d been wrong. Opening my door quietly I crept outside and started back to the refectory. I had to stand up to Greg, call him out, tell Cherri about the history between us and why she needed to steer clear of him. When I returned to the refectory it lay empty and dark. I went back onto the wide porch, leaned on the rail and looked down at the campfire, burning now, more light leaking from the sky so the figures around the fire were shadows. Were Cherri and Greg down there? I decided to walk down and check.

“I knew you wouldn’t be able to stay away, Dani.”

Greg’s voice came from behind and I spun round. He leaned against the wide double doors, ankles and arms crossed, slightly too long hair flopping across his eyes.

“Bastard,” I said. “Leave Cherri alone.”

He laughed. “I’m not interested in Cherri. Stupid name anyway.”

“Good.”

Greg peeled off the wall and walked toward me. “There’s only one girl for me, Dani.”

I held up my hands. “Not anymore, Greg. We’re done, you and me. We were over a long time ago.”

“You don’t mean that, Dani.” Greg kept coming and I had nowhere to go, backed into the angle made by the porch railing. I extended my hands in front of me but when they met Greg’s chest he kept coming, strong, relentless, and my arms buckled and he still kept coming until the rail bit into my back and Greg pressed tight against me, his arousal obvious against my belly. I was aware confrontation aroused him, aware he ignored all civilized signals, knew from bitter experience the absence of the word No in his vocabulary.

“Get away from me.” I punched his chest, tried pushing him away, but he was a rock, solid and unmoving, my efforts only exciting him more, making him press even harder against me. He pushed my arms aside, grasped one of my breasts.

“I miss you so much, Dani.”

His face came toward mine and I realized I’d made a bad mistake.

“I’m gonna scream, Greg. Stop this now.”

“Uh-uh, Dani. You want me.”

I filled my lungs, fear overcoming my usual reticence. I always wanted to pass unnoticed, always took the safe route, never drawing attention to myself, but if I didn’t go against my natural inclination now Greg meant to repeat what he had done to me once before. I slapped back at him again, my hand cracking loud on his face but he only laughed.

“Go on, hit me. I like it when you fight.”

I drew air in, really meaning to scream this time when a blur of white shot across the porch and rammed into Greg, a small pale figure, shorter than me, and no way should Cherri have been able to move Greg but somehow she did because he staggered sideways from the force of her body, turning fast to meet the attack. Cherri’s fists shot out, landed on his chest, lunged again and caught his cheek and he grunted in pain, reaching for her arms. Cherri moved aside, came at him from a different direction, speaking for the first time, “Leave. Her. Alone.” Each word punctuated with a short punch to shoulder or neck.

Greg staggered back. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was six inches taller than Cherri, probably weighed twenty pounds more, but Greg had been an immovable object. Cherri had to have some kind of dynamo inside, because he fell back again.

“Hey, enough. I was only foolin’.”

“Then fool with some other girl.”

Greg turned in my direction. “I thought you wanted us to get together again, Dani.”

I laughed harshly. “What didn’t you understand, Greg? Am I being too subtle for you?”

Cherri hit him again, her blows sharp in the gathered dark, and I was aware only me and Cherri stood on the porch against Greg. He was over six feet, broad and muscular, and even with Cherri hitting him if he turned against us we almost certainly stood no chance. For some reason though, and I still have no idea why, Greg slumped and backed off. His hands came up, Cherri’s blows continuing to rain against him and he backed off again, hit the porch rail and rolled over. Cherri wasn’t that strong, Greg had taken an escape route. He landed on the gravel below the porch, took three long strides away from us then turned back.

“Get lost, loser,” Cherri hissed.

Greg smiled, teeth white in the gloom. “I do so love a fighter.”

My heart pounded, the blood rushing through my head making my temples ache. Cherri moved back, came to stand near me. Beyond the rail Greg turned away casually and strolled down the hill in the direction of the campfire. Faint voices drifted up from the group gathered at the waterside. The sound of a guitar carried through the still dark.

Cherri touched my arm. “You okay, Dan?”

Her touch released the fear inside, making me shudder. I tried to nod but started choking up, pulled back a breath, turned my head aside not wanting Cherri to catch the tears starting up but she knew anyway.

“Oh babe.” She came close, slipped her arms around my waist and leaned her head against my chest. “It’s okay, Dan, he’s gone now. What the fuck did he do to you?”

“He-” My voice caught, tears coming hard now and I wondered if this sudden release had been building for a long time.

Cherri stroked my back. Her chin turned against my breast, pressing into me, breath fluttering against my skin. “You don’t have to tell me, not if you don’t want to.”

“God Cherri, I can’t do this. I hardly know you.” Except I did. Seemed to know this girl better than anyone before, hoping Cherri felt the same about me.

“Of course you do, babe. Me and you are best buds now.”

“Oh Cherri.”

“Shh. He must have hurt you real bad.”

“He’s a shit!”

Cherri laughed. “Hey, don’t pull your punches girl.”

“He’s a fucking shit!”

“Better.”

I laughed and hugged Cherri back, so good to be standing with her slim body inside my arms, my chin resting against the top of her head, the scent of her shampoo in my nose. After a while I sniffed hard and loosened my hold. “We’d better not make a habit of this or people will talk.”

“Let ‘em. You can hug me anytime you like.” Cherri stepped back, her hands still on my arms but her soft hot body moving away and leaving me cold.

“Thanks.”

“You don’t have to tell me anything, Dan, but if you want to I’m always here.”

I nodded. “Thanks,” I said again. Great vocabulary, I thought.

Cherri darted back, lifted up and kissed me lightly on the lips. When she dropped away she grinned. “Guess we’d better not let ‘em see us do that either, had we.”

Chapter 6

Wednesday morning the alarm woke me before seven and I rolled out of bed before I drifted back to sleep. I liked sleeping in the small bedroom on my own, not having to share, but it meant no-one to wake me if I overslept. On all my previous camps I’d been a camper and slept in the bunkroom with everyone else, one of the hardest parts for me. I’m a private person, private about my body and bodily functions. That attitude didn’t last long, couldn’t last long in the atmosphere of camp. But now I was a counselor relishing the prospect of my own room, my own space, and I could rise early and shower before anyone was up.

I grabbed my washbag and knocked on the door across the corridor. No response from Tonya or Holly so I padded along to the bathroom and grabbed a shower while I had the chance. I expected them to come in, bubbling and enthusiastic as the evening before but I managed an entire shower without being disturbed. I went back to my room and dressed. I couldn’t leave them to oversleep. The induction sessions were scheduled to start at nine and it had gone eight-thirty, so I went back and knocked on the door again and not bothering to wait entered their room, meaning to bawl them out.

I stopped in the doorway, shock running like ice through my belly.

Tonya and Holly lay curled together in one bed. The other single across the room didn’t seem to have been slept in. They were both awake, and from the way they jumped apart I got the impression they might have been kissing. I also got the impression they were both naked under the stiff cotton sheets and coarse blanket. Only their shoulders showed, but neither displayed evidence of a nightdress or vest.

“Um,” I said, forcing myself to continue. “You’re gonna be late if you don’t get up. I’m going across for breakfast.”

“Dani-” Holly started, but Tonya did something beneath the covers and she stopped. They exchanged a glance.

“We’ll see you later,” Tonya said.

I nodded and backed into the corridor. Outside the cabin the air was already warm, the day shaping up to be a hot one. I walked to the refectory in a daze, wondering what to do about Tonya and Holly. Nothing, maybe. Fraternization between counselors, while not being condoned, was accepted. As for same sex fraternization? Well, I could guess. Only one way to interpret what I’d witnessed. Tonya and Holly were lovers. Across the corridor from me the two pretty girls had been fucking. Through my shock a part of me grew charmed.

I looked for Cherri in the refectory but saw no sign of her. I did recognize a few other faces I’d missed before, everyone now graduated from camper to counselor. I loaded up on scrambled eggs and pancakes and slid onto a table next to Rachel Gilliam and Leigh Duchelle. A couple of years back I’d shared a cabin with Rachel and we’d been close. Leigh was best friends with Rachel last year. We ate and caught up on what we’d all been doing over the year. Like me they’d both finished high school, Rachel about to go to college, Leigh planning to work for her dad who owned a small chain of restaurants. Despite all three of us living in Los Angeles we’d never met up outside camp. LA is a big city, and somehow life outside camp seems to have nothing to do with the life inside.

They’d finished eating but hung around while I wolfed my breakfast and after we went outside where most of the other counselors had gathered around the flagpole ready for the raising and the pledge. I looked around and caught sight of Tonya and Holly on the far side of the crowd, looking as normal as could be. I searched for Cherri but couldn’t see her. Over a hundred of us stood around. Easy to miss someone as short as Cherri in the crowd.

Jeff Simmons raised the flag and we all lifted our right hands and spoke the words of the pledge. Out here the guys mingled with the girls and I nodded to other people I knew. Scanning the faces my eyes met Greg Hansen’s. He was on the far side, a head above the other kids. He stared directly back at me and I felt myself both flush and go cold thinking about how he’d been last night.

I’d hoped he wouldn’t be around this year, but there he stood, a counselor like everyone else, still holding a grudge. As if he’d been the victim.

I wanted to turn away but couldn’t, might have stayed rooted to the spot all morning if a finger hadn’t poked me in the ribs and I looked down to find Cherri standing beside me. I let my breath out and grinned.

“Where’ve you been?”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t you start on me too, Dan. I was tired is all.”

I laughed. “They come and round you up?”

“Don’t I know it.”

Flagpole finished we wandered away, everyone grouping up. It felt wonderful walking next to Cherri down the slope to the main block. The sun seemed turned up a notch, the light growing brighter. I pushed Greg from my mind and almost forgot him until his voice brought me to a halt.

“Hey, Dani, I wanted to apologize for last night. I was way out of order. I’m sorry.”

I turned and stared at him, nodded, offering nothing more. I crossed my arms, uncrossed them, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of reading my body language.

“It’s okay, Dani, I’m not going to give you a hard time. I’m all grown up about us now. We’re cool. I guess you’ve moved on. ” He grinned, and for a moment I remembered what I’d seen in him. Greg was good looking, with charisma in spades, and to begin with he’d been sweet. Only later did he turn so bad.

I became aware of Cherri standing next to me, looking from me to Greg. She waited for me to say something, but I only nodded at Greg and said, “I guess I’ll see you around.”

He nodded back. “Great to see you again, Dani.” I thought he might want to milk the moment, but he turned and strode off, long legs covering the ground easily.

“Why didn’t you go at him?” I started to walk off but Cherri didn’t follow.

I shook my head. Cherri didn’t understand. I would do almost anything to avoid confrontation. If Greg wanted to draw a line under the past that was fine with me.

“He could have hurt you last night.” Cherri took two paces toward me, stood close, staring up into my eyes. “If that’d been me I’d’ve kicked him in the nuts and punched his nose.”

Her pretty face screwed up in anger, lines radiating out from her eyes. Her fists had bunched and I knew she meant it. Unlike me Cherri was a brawler, and I wondered why I was so at ease in her company because we couldn’t be more unalike.

“He’s not worth the trouble, Cherri. Anything like that and Greg always manages to turn everything round so it’s your fault.”

“Not to me,” Cherri said. “Or you.” Her face relaxed, transforming from pretty to beautiful in the process. “If you’re not gonna fight for your honor I will.”

I didn’t want to tell her it was way too late to fight Greg for my honor. He’d taken that long ago, so I only said, “Don’t you dare.”

“Stick up for yourself, girl, or I will.” Cherri laughed and brushed past me, her shoulder sliding against my breast. My nipple stiffened, confusing me because I’d never responded that way to another girl before.

I sighed and trotted to catch her up. The first induction meeting was about to start, and I didn’t want her being late again.

The next three days passed in a blur of health and safety briefings, form filling and at the end of the day exhausted parties on the lakeshore. I saw Greg around occasionally, but he seemed to be sticking to his word and made no move to approach us. And it was us. Cherri and I a unit. Everyone recognized the fact. We weren’t close in the same way as Tonya and Holly, no way, but we were best buddies, seemed like we would be the entire summer. Which was fine with me.

Friday evening the first group of kids arrived and everything changed. The camp went instantly from a quiet, civilized place to complete and utter chaos. Things would get better, and by the end of next week the kids would’ve settled down, forming their cliques, falling in and out of friendships and losing their manic edge. Some of that would be exhaustion, some acceptance.

My cabin became filled with the noise of a dozen fourteen year old girls, even on day one possible to tell who were the characters, who the shy ones, who the troublemakers. I was determined to be respected even if I wasn’t liked, and on the very first evening picked on one girl trying to bully a short, pretty redhead into swapping bunks. I split them up and pushed the bully aside, glared at her and made it clear her kind of behavior wasn’t acceptable in Eagle. Tonya and Holly helped but were less forceful, softer with the girls. I’d set my strategy before arrival, thinking hard about the counselors I’d known. The best had been firm but fair, and I modeled myself on them. Cherri would have been proud of me.

Chapter 7

The first Sunday after the arrival of the campers I had a free day. The new influx of kids would be busy with games and hiking and swimming, so I stayed in camp to help. I also needed to write home. I always wrote Mom, never Dad, but knew he’d read my letter. Mom worried about me when I was away, and I could never leave without promising to write once a week. At least once a week. Twice a day if Mom had her way, with instant delivery, ahead of her time with the worrying. These days emailing and texting every five minutes still wouldn’t be enough. Dad trusted me. I’m sure he still worried–in fact I know he still worried–but his attitude was I needed to learn how to get along on my own, exactly as he had. Dad wasn’t much older than me when he did his first tour as a photographer in Vietnam. That had been his big break, his photographs winning all kinds of awards, getting him commissions for Time and Life. He told me people had to grow up faster back then, but I thought he was making excuses. He’d gone to war because he wanted to, because he was nineteen and didn’t want to join up but did want the excitement. I was glad the world was a more peaceful place in 1989.

After lunch I spent time in the classroom getting everything ready for my first class Monday morning. I was checking stocks of developer and paper when a tall kid came in.

“Help you?” I asked, thinking he was one of the older campers.

“Hi. I’m Jack Bennet.” He came across, offering his hand.

“Hi.” I shook, frowning. I guess he caught the confusion on my face.

“I’m your photography counselor.” He grinned. A nice grin.

“Oh.” I don’t think my face changed much. “I didn’t realize I had one.”

Jack laughed. “Not officially. But they let you sign up as a helper if you want, and I thought this sounded like fun. My real specialism is sailing. Your classes fit in with my teaching times so I thought…” He trailed off, shrugging. I realized I was still glaring at him and tried to fashion a more sympathetic look.

“Oh, hey, cool. I can use the help.” His face lost the worried expression. “D’you know much about photography?”

Jack shook his head. “Squat. Does it matter?”

“I guess not. I can teach you what you need.”

“I hoped you’d say that. I’m not being fair, but you don’t mind do you, Dani?” So he knew my name. I guess he would if he’d asked about the class, but I experienced a moment of panic. Was Jack another Greg? He looked okay… but so had Greg. I couldn’t spend the rest of my life running away from men.

“You can help me lay out for tomorrow. I’m going to start with some simple developing.” I walked to the storeroom and started handing him developing trays and dark bottles of developer and fixer. Jack stood with everything in his hands, not sure what to do.

“Put all the bottles on the big desk up front. I don’t want anyone playing with them until I’m ready. Put three of the trays at each workstation. They’ll need other stuff too. I could show you what to put out, but…” I glanced at my watch, an idea occurring to me. “You got to be anywhere in the next hour?”

“Nowhere special. I want to take one of the dinghies out before dinner, but that’s all.”

“This will go easier if I show you what I mean. Come on.”

I led the way outside and looked around. Jack followed meekly. He stood tall, broad shouldered and good looking with buzzed dark hair, a flat belly and long legs. He wore a t-shirt and blue jeans. The t-shirt was printed with a faded cartoon of an old guy sitting astride a Harley motorcycle–written underneath the words: “I’ll sleep when I’m tired.”

“Where we going?”

“Where are these boats you’re sailing?”

“Dinghies,” Jack corrected me, an expert on sailing the way I was with cameras. He pointed. “Down at the jetty.”

“Show me.”

We walked down over the grass and out onto the wooden jetty. It moved under our feet, unbalancing me, but Jack didn’t appear to notice. He stopped by one of the small plastic boats.

“Get in,” I said. “Show me what you do.”

He shrugged and stepped into the boat which rocked wildly as his weight transferred, but Jack seemed unconcerned. I’d have flailed around if it happened to me, probably fallen in.

Jack glanced back, not sure what I wanted.

“Set everything up like you’re going out.”

“Yeah?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

He started pulling on thin ropes running down the aluminum mast, different colors and sizes, his hands swift and sure, performing each task with familiar ease.

I lifted my camera and started taking shots. Every time Jack moved the dinghy rocked, mast swaying against the sky.

Jack took a curved piece of white plastic from the bottom of the boat and slotted it into the back.

“I’ll take this one out later now she’s all set up. You want to come?”

“Is it safe?”

Jack laughed. “She’s safe. What d’you think, want to come?”

“Is it hard?”

He laughed again. “Simple.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“So that’s no?”

“No. I’ll think about it.”

Jack nodded as though I’d confirmed my answer. Maybe I had.

He pulled on a rope and the sail ran up the mast. A breeze came in over the lake and the sail billowed and filled. The white material flapped and swung over. Jack let go of the rope.

“All done,” he said. “If I pull this rope in and loosen where I’m tied to the dock I’ll be sailing. Any more?”

“That’s enough. You can take it all down now.”

Jack let the sail drop but left everything else in place before stepping back onto the jetty, his weight rocking the boards again and I lost balance. Jack’s hand gripped my arm, steadying me. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” For some reason I was embarrassed. “If you’re done I’ll show you what I want the kids to do tomorrow.”

“Cool.” He let my arm go and led the way back to land.

In the classroom I showed Jack how to pull down the blackout blinds over the windows and locked the door to stop anyone barging in and ruining the film. Before turning the lights off I demonstrated to Jack how to remove the film using an old spool and exposed stock. This was my playground now and I was relaxed in the dim lighting.

“This is a two stage process,” I explained. “First I need to develop the film, then I use the enlarger-” I pointed at one of three set around the room, “-and finally develop the print itself. It’s about as easy as your sailing, but I guess like everything in life, only easy when you get it right.”

“Show me. Do I need to turn the lights out?”

“Not yet. This is all going on inside the developing tank. The tricky bit is getting the film inside.”

I took a soft cloth bag and stuffed the tank and film spool inside, tugged a string with my teeth to close the top, my hands, the film and the tank now completely protected inside the bag. Jack laughed watching my hands moving around under the cloth.

“What are you doing? That thing looks alive.”

“I’m transferring the film onto the tank spool without any light getting in. This is going to be tough when you try, but it’s a technique, like everything else.”

Jack sat on the edge of a workbench and crossed his arms. I was no longer nervous under his gaze, confident in what I did now. Inside the bag I slid one end of the film into the center of the plastic spool, pressed on the edges of the film so they bowed, twisted to slot the film into the spiral grooves. The act was second nature I’d done it so many times, but this would be hard for Jack, even harder for the kids. This was the most difficult part of the entire process, and I would make them practice the moves over and over during their four week stint. I screwed the plastic lid on the tank and tugged my hands to open the bag.

“That’s kind of cool,” Jack said.

I suppressed a smile, pleased I’d impressed him, even if only a little.

I started to mix the developer, measuring raw stock into a graduated flask. “I’ll show you how to do all this with an old film later,” I said. “Putting the film on the reel is the hardest part. Everything else is following steps, and timing.”

I checked the temperature of the fluids, filled the developing tank, started the timer, turned the tank over a couple of times and tapped the side hard against the bench.

“The process takes around three minutes for this kind of film,” I said. “And I need to swirl the liquid around every thirty seconds or the film’ll develop unevenly.” I showed him how to twist the developing tank so the fluid inside washed around, fresh developer replacing old against the face of the film stock. When the timer showed twenty seconds left I tipped the tank and let the fluid drain into the sink.

“This will keep developing with only the fluid left on the film so I need to flush with clean water.”

Jack nodded, watching as I ran water from the tap through the spout on the tank.

“Now I need to fix the image. That’s this next bottle called, oddly enough, fixer.”

I poured the water out, added the fixer and repeated the tapping and swirling.

“This is the longest stage–six minutes–but I can let the light back in after three.” I consulted the stopwatch which I had reset when the fixer went in, and when time was up I unscrewed the top. I reached, pulled the spool out and showed Jack. “You can’t let the kids do this, but I like to check that the film’s developed okay. Remember when we’re doing this for real the kids wear rubber gloves and don’t get any of these liquids on their hands. Some of this stuff is poisonous.”

Jack leaned forward, his head close to mine and I smelled his scent, clean and masculine, a little sweat but nothing gross. He stared at the film where reverse images showed, fascination on his face. He really did want to do this, not just looking for a chance to get in my pants.

I straightened up and dropped the spool back into the fixer.

“We can leave that as long as we want now. Then we have to wash the film so no trace of fixer is left. Let me show you how to load the tank. This is what we’ll be starting on first week. I’ll get the kids to take some pictures, show them how to develop and enlarge a print.”

“A lot of stuff to remember.”

“Not so much. And I’ve done little crib sheets for everyone–you too if you want.”

Jack nodded, and I wondered why he’d really put down as a helper on the course.

I took a new developing reel and showed Jack how to load film, pushing a couple of inches inside the spiraled plastic, loading the rest to sit neatly without touching any other part.

“Now you try.”

I pulled the film out and handed the tank and the spool to Jack. He slotted the film in easily and twisted the spool. He made a mess the first three times, on the fourth fed the film perfectly.

“Again,” I said, “three times in a row, then with your eyes shut.”

Jack laughed.

“I mean it. This part has to be done in complete darkness. We either turn the lights out, or you can put the whole thing in a blackout sack like I did, but you cannot get any light anywhere near the film.”

“Shit.” Jack shook his head.

“Yeah. But you’ll manage.”

I watched as Jack closed his eyes and fumbled with the spool. He dropped it, opened his eyes and picked it up, went back to work. I studied him, safe now his eyes were closed, his face a mask of concentration. He was better looking than my kind-of boyfriend Pete, and I’d left Pete at home. This was summer camp, and a boyfriend might help take my mind off the thoughts I kept having about Cherri. I wasn’t ready to let those thoughts bubble to the surface. Not yet, I thought, then changed it to Not ever!

I sat on the side of the bench and watched Jack, scanning his chest, studying the way his fingers fumbled with the spool and film. I allowed my gaze to drift over his long legs, scuffed deck shoes reminding me of why he was at camp.

“I think I’ve got it now.”

Jack startled me. When I looked up his eyes were open and I wondered how long they’d been that way, and if he knew where I’d been looking. I felt my face grow warm.

“Okay, let’s find out if you remember tomorrow.”

“Can I take this to practice with?”

“Sure.”

I rinsed the now complete negative in water and squeezed the surface semi-dry, showed Jack the next stage. He stood close beside me as I studied the tiny images on a lightbox. I selected one to enlarge, asked Jack to switch the lights to red.

I focused the image, automatically cropping as I went. Satisfied, I turned the enlarger lamp off and laid a sheet of five by seven photographic paper on the flat base. Such a lot I could explain, but if I tried it would be too much too soon.

I filled the white plastic trays with developer, water and fixer. I switched the enlarger back on and counted. One-one-thousand, two-one-thousand, three-one-thousand, turned off the lamp and slipped the paper face down into the first tray, tilted the base so fluid washed over the paper. I used tongs to turn the paper over. Jack’s face showed the usual pleasure and surprise as the image started to appear in the rocking tray. When the print was ready I lifted it out and allowed the chemicals to drain for a moment before dropping it into the water, swirled and transferred to the fixer. After two minutes I said, “You can turn the main lights back on now.”

When Jack came back the print was almost ready.

“That’s amazing.”

“Pretty cool, yeah?” I’d done this hundreds–no, thousands of times–still excited watching the image appear from nothing.

The picture caught Jack on the dinghy, half bent as he started to raise the sail, looking back at the camera with a grin on his face. Good photograph, I thought. But I was a good photographer. Convinced I was. My Dad said so and he was the best photographer in the world.

I slipped the completed print into a sink of water and pushed it around with my fingers.

“Done.”

Jack laughed. “Oh well, in that case, see you around.” He started to turn and I was surprised to experience… what… disappointment? But he stopped before he’d gone three paces and turned back grinning. “Joke, Dani,” he said, looking at my face.

“Oh.”

“And you’ll show everyone how to take pictures as good as that?”

“Depends. Some people get it, some don’t. That’s the hard part, training your eye.”

Jack nodded and looked uncomfortable and I had no idea why.

“I know we’ve just met, but I want to ask you something.”

My stomach fluttered with some kind of nerves as I said, “What’s that?”

“I was wondering… can I borrow a camera and some film? I’d like to practice before tomorrow if that’s alright.”

“Sure. You’ll have to use one of the crappy school cameras, but they work okay.”

“Whatever.”

I loaded a spool of black and white into the battered old Praktica and handed the camera to Jack. “Are you going to take pictures of boats?”

“Thanks.” Jack turned the camera over, studied it. “No, not boats. My girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” The warmth turned to slush in my belly.

“Yeah. Sara Mitchell. You know her?”

I nodded, numb. “Yeah, I know Sara.” Slut.

“Thanks again.” Jack lifted the camera, grinned, and was gone.

Chapter 8

That evening when I carried a tray piled with more carb heavy food over to what I now considered our table Cherri was already seated, surprising me. I’d only known Cherri a little over a week but already her habits were familiar, and timing wasn’t one of Cherri’s strengths. She made up in other ways. The way she wrinkled her cute nose when she was amused; the way her mouth turned up on one side to indicate she found something funny, just not that funny; the way her tongue appeared in the same corner of her mouth when she was concentrat-ing hard; the way she turned up last for everything, breezing in as though we were the ones who’d arrived too early; the way…

No, Dani, stop! I’d spent two hours in the darkroom with Jack, and up until he told me about Sara had been entertaining pleasant fantasies about what might happen over summer. I’d no right thinking about Cherri this way; didn’t want it, didn’t need it. Even so no way I was going to sit with anyone else.

“Hey, Dan, how’s it hanging?”

I slipped onto the bench next to Cherri and jabbed her in the ribs with my elbow. “That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

She rolled her eyes. “Promises, always promises. When you gonna let me find out, lover girl?”

I laughed, nervous, but I laughed. “What’ve you been up to this afternoon?”

“Same old. Not much preparation teaching kids how to play guitar. I changed the strings on the camp’s guitars, but they’re all shit anyway. I hope some of the kids are gonna bring their own.”

“How many you got in your classes?” The course rosters had gone up before dinner. I had ten my first week, a dozen the second. The biggest groups were for sports and water-sports, hiking, climbing and trail riding popular as well. We were at summer camp, after all, and most kids didn’t want to spend time indoors learning something new. At least Pinecrest tried to be different and many of the kids came because of the difference. I had.

“About fifteen,” Cherri said.

“Boys or girls?”

“Mostly girls, which surprised me.” Cherri finished all she wanted of the pasta and pushed her plate aside, poking her spoon at some indeterminate lump of brown cake with a scoop of ice cream on the side.

“Why?”

She shrugged. “I dunno. Most of the people I listen to are men, so I assumed it would be boys wanted to learn about songwriting. Apparently not.”

“There’s a lot of girl singers.”

Cherri nodded. “I guess they don’t interest me quite as much.”

I jabbed her again and she poked me back and we ended up pushing back and forward, giggling.

“Hey, cut it out you two, you’ll get a reputation.” Tonya dumped her tray on the other side of the table and she and Holly slipped in across from us.

I returned to my food, but Cherri said, “Look who’s talking.”

Tonya stared hard at her and Holly concentrated on her pasta.

“What d’you mean?” Tonya asked.

Cherri rolled her eyes. “Come on, you know damn well what I mean. You two lovebirds couldn’t be more obvious if you tried.”

Holly flushed, but Tonya’s mouth thinned, her dark skin not capable of showing embarrassment–or not so I’d notice anyway. The more I got to know the pair–and we had become good friends over the first week–the more I liked them, the more I grew to appreciate their beauty and grace. Holly was slight and pale. At first glance most people dismissed her as ordinary, but they were missing out on the real beauty, her pale skin flawless. Her smile, when it came, lit up a room, her eyes light brown and flecked with gold, deep enough to drown in. On the other hand Tonya came across as more in your face, clearly attractive, but even a short examination showed hidden depths, secret beauty in small details. Not that I spent much time studying them, of course. Tried not to, anyway. Lying in bed imagining what might be going on in the room across the corridor affected me. I tried to hold out but last night the pressure grew too intense. I slipped my pajama pants down and fingered myself until my belly melted and I shivered and jerked. Afraid afterward I’d made too much noise and Tonya and Holly might’ve heard. But as sleep claimed me, my body still tingling, I didn’t care. Let them listen all they wanted. Let me turn them on for a change. Maybe. Now Cherri had put the idea out in the open, the elephant in the room wasn’t going back out the door.

“You want to keep your mouth shut and your eyes to yourself,” Tonya said. She glanced at me, gaze cool.

I opened my mouth to defend myself, but Cherri put a hand on my arm. My skin tingled where she touched me and I thought What the hell are we arguing about here? None of us cares who or what you are.

“We’re not judging either of you,” Cherri said. “And we want to be your friends. I’m only saying you need to be careful.”

“Careful? Why should we be careful? What are we doing wrong?”

Cherri sighed, holding her hands up. “Okay, fine. Only trying to give a little advice, but forget I said anything.”

Tonya glared a moment longer before starting to eat, chewing slowly. An uncomfortable silence descended on our small group and I played with my own food, trying to distract myself.

“Hey Dani, mind if we join you?”

Jack and another boy stood holding trays, their plates piled high, and I bet they finished everything.

“Uh, sure, if no-one else minds?” I glanced around at everyone, but Tonya and Holly were still deliberately eating. Cherri grinned, raising an eyebrow at me.

“Cherri, this is Jack,” I said. “I don’t know who his buddy is?”

“Brian,” Jack said. “Good to meet you Cherri. So we can join you?” Jack seemed oblivious of the freeze coming from Tonya on the other side of the table.

“Sure,” Cherri answered before I could say anything. Jack sat next to me and Brian moved along and sat the other side of Cherri, a ridiculous shiver of jealousy running through me.

As the guys wolfed their food and talked I introduced Tonya and Holly. Brian turned out to be a character, talking enthusiastically about riding the trails he was taking kids out on tomorrow, personality flowing out of him and first Holly then Tonya joined in. Within five minutes they’d included Cherri back in the conversation, and a couple of minutes later let me in too. We talked about past camps, what our specialisms were, what we wanted to do after camp. Tonya was a general counselor and Holly covered track and field, which surprised me again, both of them always surprising me. Jack told us all about sailing. As well as trail-riding, Brian covered soccer and baseball. As the guys finished their food–and finish they did–the atmosphere grew more and more relaxed.

After half an hour Tonya and Holly rose and picked up their trays.

“Can we have a word, Dani?” Tonya said, Holly standing off to one side, obviously uncomfortable.

“Sure.” I’d forgotten all about their earlier suspicions. The expression on Tonya’s face reminded me she still had something she wanted to say. I waited, and so did they, before I realized they didn’t mean here.

“I’ll be right back,” I said to the others and followed the girls as they dropped their trays in the racks. Outside Tonya led the way toward our cabin before stopping. Holly suddenly found her feet fascinating.

“I don’t welcome you telling everyone in camp about us, Dani.” Tonya took a step toward me, getting in my face. Before I could say anything she continued. “I thought better of you than this. We’re so disappointed in you.”

I got mad instantly. “You think I told Cherri?”

“Yeah, we think you told Cherri. And who else?” Tonya’s eyes sparked. Holly continued to study her toes, hair hanging over her face.

“Fuck you!” I put my hands up and pushed Tonya back. She was equal to me in height and carried more muscle, but I was mad. “I haven’t told anyone, not a soul, and I’m pissed you think I could.”

Tonya didn’t back down. “So how come your little girlfriend knows all about us?” Tonya pushed back against my hands and I dropped them when I realized I was pressing against the upper swell of her breasts.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” I said. “And anyone with a working pair of eyes can tell what you two are.”

Holly spoke up for the first time. “I told you Dani wouldn’t tell.”

Tonya snorted. “You believe the best of everyone, Hol.” She glanced at me, a shade of uncertainty in her eyes now. “You really didn’t say anything?”

I shook my head, still pissed. “You honestly thought I could?”

“Are we so obvious?”

“Duh.”

“Ah shit.”

“Tonya,” Holly pulled at her lover’s arm. “We’re going to have to be careful.”

Tonya glanced at her. “I don’t want to be careful around you, honey.”

The sudden change of atmosphere unsettled me and I stepped back. “I’m going to catch the others before they go.”

“Sure, Dani. And sorry I went at you...” An edge of anger remained in Tonya’s voice and I couldn’t tell for sure if I was forgiven or not, whether she truly believed I had kept their secret.

I nodded, also not quite ready to forgive her for doubting me. I glanced back before I reached the refectory and Tonya and Holly were still standing where I left them, deep in conversation. Their stance, their body language, broadcasting to all they were lovers. They’d need to be more careful if they wanted to avoid real trouble, none of us anticipating how soon trouble would come.

Inside Jack and Brian had changed sides, Jack turned with his back to the table looking out the tall window at the lake, Brian leaning over the table-top and talking to Cherri. They looked good, the two men both relaxed and happy. Jack was an inch taller than Brian but narrower across the shoulders. Brian like a cross between rock star and street-fighter. His too-long hair curled around a good-looking face but at some time his nose had been broken and re-set, a good job but it showed. I’d noticed as soon as he came in, but instead of subtracting from his looks it only seemed to add to them.

“All cleared up?” Cherri asked.

I nodded.

“Are they what I think they are?” Jack asked, turning and leaning across the table. He confused me. Less than two hours ago he’d been telling me he had a girlfriend, now sitting here with his big hands so close to mine on the tabletop, heat radiating from them, and it felt like flirting to me.

“What d’you think they are?” Still upset at being accused of something I’d never do, ready to snap at Jack.

“Hey, take it easy.” He held his hands up.

Cherri laughed. “Chill, you two. And yes, they are.”

I guess they’d been talking while I’d been outside.

Brian shook his head. “What a waste.”

“Typical fuckin’ man,” Cherri said. “Why a waste if they’re in love?”

“Hey, only kidding.” Brian sat back, leaning away from Cherri, catching the edge in her voice. That edge surprised me too. “I’ve got nothing against ‘em if that’s the way they are. Nothing at all.”

“Do you really play guitar?” Jack asked Cherri. I’m not sure if he was deliberately trying to change the subject, but I was grateful. Somehow we had coupled up as we talked and a gap opened up between me and Cherri.

“Of course I do,” Cherri said, looking at Brian.

“Is she any good?” Jack asked me.

I laughed. “I’ve never heard her play.”

“Get your guitar,” Brian said. “Let’s find out.”

Cherri smiled the particular smile she wore when she was enjoying herself, going with the flow, letting her mood lead where it might. She nodded. “Sure. Let’s go down the lake.”

Something glittered in her eyes and I thought I knew what she had in mind, wondering if I wanted to go along with her not. Everything seemed too soon to me, too fast, but Cherri was never slow. And there remained the still not insignificant matter of Jack’s girlfriend.

We ended up sitting on the pebbled beach while the last of the light faded beyond the far ridge and I listened to Cherri play and sing for the first time ever. I think that night I grew out of my stupid infatuation with Cherri, the infatuation turning into something far deeper and primal.

Cherri played a perfect version of Sweet Baby James, finger-style, voice high and clear, a trace of echo coming back from across the lake. When she finished we all clapped and the boys whooped a bit and we listened to the echo some more before Cherri played Born to Run, a different version to the one the Boss did, all choppy chords and a different, hoarse edge to her voice and we whooped some more and Jack put his arm around me and I went stiff but didn’t try to move away.

Cherri played some more, looking at Brian as she sang and after a while she put her guitar back in its case and Brian moved closer.

Brian kissed her. Jack didn’t kiss me, so I guess the girlfriend was real. Even so I ended up lying on dew damp grass enjoying the way Jack lay warm against me. I kept glancing across at Cherri and Brian, and she didn’t seem to mind the way I did, but it was Cherri finally called a halt and said we’d all better get an early night because the morning was going to be chaos.

Cherri and I walked over the bridge and up the slope to the girls’ cabins. Cherri slipped her arm through mine and leaned close.

“So, d’you think we’re all boyfriended up now, Dan?”

I laughed, uneasy. “I don’t think so. Jack told me he’s already going out with someone. Sara Mitchell.”

“He didn’t act like he had a girlfriend.”

“That’s what he told me.”

“He’s pretty hot, ain’t he?”

“He’s okay, I guess.”

Cherri laughed. “Okay? Sure. And Brian’s a dish. A real dish. He’s so strong. I like that sometimes, the feel he could pick me up and run with me. Sometimes that’s good.”

I slowed and looked at her and she stopped, facing me. Out in the moonlight, just me and Cherri, and I almost kissed her and blew the whole damn summer there and then before managing to stop myself.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She stared up at me, lips slightly parted. She had loosed her arm from mine but only to drop it against my waist, her fingers warm through my cotton shirt.

“Sure. Sleep well.”

“You too.”

Still we remained where we were. Cherri moved her thumb, lightly stroking my side. I took a deep breath and Cherri smiled.

“You breath in like that in front of Jack and he’s gonna be in love with you, Dan, not some mysterious Sara I never heard of.”

“What?” I was confused.

Cherri grinned. “Those boobs need classing as dangerous weapons.” She sighed. “Brian’s probably real disappointed with mine.”

I giggled. “I don’t think so.”

“You were watching?”

“Duh.”

Cherri’s teeth showed white in the dark. “He did seem to like ‘em, didn’t he? Why didn’t you do anything with Jack?”

My good mood left me. “I told you. He’s taken.”

“It’s gonna be a long summer, lover. Anything might happen. See you around.” She kissed me on the cheek and was gone.

Chapter 9

My first class was complete chaos, scary as hell, and wonderful. I tried to remember what Alan Peters used to do and realized he just let us get on with things. The idea of letting go that way was the scariest part, way scarier than the thought of kids swallowing developing fluid or whacking their heads in the dark, so that first lesson I gave them all hell and knew they hated me. I wondered how many would be back tomorrow.

At ten-thirty, after two hours of believing I was going to keel over from a heart-attack or stroke they tidied up under my frantic gaze and as the last kid left with a grin and a wave (so maybe they would be back) I slumped against a bench and breathed out like I’d been holding my breath the whole time.

“You’re gonna have to loosen up.”

I whirled round. I’d forgotten Jack had been putting bottles away in the storeroom. My heart started beating overtime again and I shook my head at him. “You scared the pants off me!”

He gave me a grin and raised an eyebrow like that wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Men! Was that all they ever thought about?

“You need to lighten up, Dani. They’re only kids, and they came for a good time, not another schoolroom lesson. You know your stuff, but unless you ease off we’re going to have an empty classroom come Friday.”

I fanned myself with my hand. “I can’t seem to let go.” I thought of Mom, always fussing over us as kids, how I was acting exactly the same way. I wanted to be more like my Dad, always calm, always sure of himself, the rock in the center of any storm. Or, as Mom liked to say, the guy who wouldn’t notice a tornado until it picked him up and carried him to Kansas.

Jack sauntered over and perched his narrow ass on the bench next to me. What was I doing noticing his ass?

“What’s the worst can happen?”

I started ticking off on my fingers. “They might swallow developer or fixer, they could stumble when the lights are down, they could-”

Jack put his hand around mine, stopping me ticking off any more points. I’d only just started.

“And did any of this happen?”

“No. But-”

“You gave them the drill, told them about the dangers and they all listened, I was watching. They’re good kids, Dani, real good kids, and you’re gonna have to trust them.”

“But what if-”

“Deal with it when something happens. If anything happens.” Jack was starting to remind me a lot of my Dad, and I started liking him a whole lot better, before reminding myself I had no place liking him at all.

I sighed, shook my head so my hair fell forward and covered my face. My shoulders relaxed, aching where they’d been tense all morning. I put my hands under my hair and flung it back, catching Jack as it flew over my shoulders.

“Oops, sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. Your hair smells good. Feels good too.”

I snorted, but I was flattered all the same.

“I got a favor to ask,” Jack said.

“Uh-huh?”

“Okay if I do some work out of hours?”

“What, like developing work?”

“Yeah, that kind of thing. I’m not so good yet, but I thought if I came in and practiced I’d get better.”

“You want me to help?” I made the offer, not sure whether I wanted him to say yes or not. I would help out if he asked, but that meant less time with Cherri and Tonya and Holly, less time for myself. On the other hand, the thought of time in the darkroom with Jack had an appeal as well.

“No, I can manage on my own. I don’t want to waste your time. Would that be alright?”

“I don’t see why not. You know where the key is?”

He grinned. “I do.”

Not very secure, but tucked under the eaves above the door the key was high up, out of reach of the kids, out of reach of most of the counselors too. I was one of the tallest girls. Jack was three inches taller, nearly six-one.

“Just make sure you lock up and don’t leave a mess.”

“Thanks Dani.” He squeezed my arm, nothing more, pushed off the bench and walked out the door in the loose, easy way he had and, to my shame, I watched his butt the whole way.

***

That second week passed in a blur. I had three classes a day; two in the morning, one late afternoon before dinner. That didn’t mean I got to take it easy the rest of the time. My promotion to coordinator meant I wasn’t expected to carry out the usual duties of a counselor, which were pretty much any and everything asked, but I did anyway so as not to stand out as different. The other coordinators were all older than me, schoolteachers and college staff. I wanted to be one of the gang so I went around with the kids, ate with them, listened to their woes when they got homesick–and they all got homesick–stopped fights, offered a shoulder to cry on when romance blossomed and died, quite often the entire life-cycle lived out in an hour. Each night it was always gone eleven before I fell into my single bed, head buzzing with the events of the day and what might happen the next, buzzing with thoughts about Jack, whether Greg was really going to leave me be, but most disturbing the thoughts about Cherri. The friendship started on that stupid walk was something I expected to fade like all instant friendships do, but instead we were growing closer.

Early Wednesday evening we sat down by the lake on a picnic bench, taking our food outside because the refectory seemed too loud, and I told her about my family, about my Dad, my Mom and my brother.

“So you’re Mom’s a real Italian?” Cherri was impressed.

“She was born in Italy, so I suppose, yeah. I guess she still sounds Italian. She’s got a little accent.”

Cherri wrinkled her nose. “She sounds cute. Do you look like her?”

“People say I do.” I tried to put a note of disbelief in my voice, because though people did say so I never believed them. My Mom was beautiful.

Cherri nodded. “That’s why.”

I frowned. “Why what?”

“You’re kinda… exotic. But you know that.”

I almost spat a mouthful of apple pie all over her. “Exotic?” I swallowed before allowing myself to laugh, not wanting to spray crumbs. “I know you’re crazy, but I didn’t realize you’re blind as well.”

“You are exotic, Dan, you really are. Everyone thinks so.”

“Everyone?”

“Sure. Tonya and Holly worship you. Jack and Brian think you’re hot as all hell and… well, everybody.”

I was aware my mouth hung open and closed it with an audible snap. Cherri looked at me with her head cocked on one side.

“Is your Mom pretty?” She asked.

I shook my head. “Not pretty. She’s... stunning.” I pictured her, the image making my chest hurt with missing. Not as tall as me, hair cut shorter than mine but exactly the same color, exactly the same bounce and curl. I closed my eyes a moment as the image strengthened, saw Mom dressed as she had been last Christmas when the family came over from Caserta. Mom in her dark blue silk dress accentuating narrow waist and flared hips–her hips, I realized, wider than mine–her shapely legs and bust with a soft sheen on the skin between neck and deep cleavage. No, I wasn’t like my Mom at all.

“Uh-huh. And how many people’ve said you look like your Mom?”

I shrugged, not because I didn’t know but because I didn’t want to say. The image of Mom hovered in the back of my mind. No way did I look like her. But people said I did. People always said I did: Dani, you look so much like your mother…

“You need to get over this modesty kick, Dan. I’m pretty, but I make out I’m way more pretty than I am and that way other people think so too. I’m pretty, Dan, but you’re gorgeous. A lot of people miss that because you don’t believe. Believe in yourself, sweet tits, and you’ll have guys after you like wasps after jelly.”

I laughed, embarrassed. “You make it sound so attractive.”

“Just don’t get stung, babe.”

I wanted to hug her but I’d only known Cherri two weeks and I still wasn’t sure how close we were. I thought I might get away with a quick hug but didn’t want to risk anything yet, however much I wanted to touch her.

“How about you?” I asked, changing the subject away from me. “What are your family like? Do you look like your Mom too?”

Cherri shrugged, something changing in her eyes and she looked away over the lake. “My family aren’t exotic or anything. My…” She stopped.

“Go on.”

Cherri shook her head. “Nothing. You don’t want to know.”

“I want to know everything about you.”

Cherri turned and looked at me, her head lowered, staring up under a fall of blonde hair made pink by the lowering sun. She looked at me a while, something going on between us I couldn’t work out, then she reached her hand across the bench and placed it over mine, her touch sending a jolt along my arm.

“Nothing much to know, sweetheart. Nothing you need to know. My family is shit. That’s all.”

I shook my head, turning my hand over so her palm sat against mine, locking fingers with Cherri’s. “Not if they raised you. I can’t believe that.”

“Believe. I guess I just floated above it all, little angel me.”

“You’re so…”

Cherri raised an eyebrow, her mouth quirking up on one side. “What am I, Dan?”

“Wonderful,” I said, something making me unwilling to back down, even though I had absolutely no idea where I was going with this.

Cherri laughed softly. “Yeah, I guess I am pretty fucking amaz-ing.”

I nodded. “You are.”

Cherri squeezed my hand, shifted on the bench and for a moment, staring into each other’s eyes, I thought we were about to kiss, and if we were I would have let it happen even though I’d never wanted to kiss another girl before. Something about Cherri was different. Something about Cherri and me was different. But as our eyes interrogated each other voices sounded, calling out, and Cherri raised her head as Jack and Brian came down toward us, Jack slim and loose limbed, Brian stockier, legs bowed from all the riding.

“Fucking men,” she said, and I laughed, unsure whether to be relieved or not.

I half expected Jack and I to get together that week, but even though Jack spent a whole lot of time with us as a foursome on Thursday only Brian turned up at dinner, and when he explained Jack was with Sara my mood deflated. I knew Jack and Sara were an item, we’d even talked about it in class where he explained they’d started up the year before and just kind of fallen back into it immediately. Instant love or instant lust. Sara had a reputation as a good time girl. Already, two weeks in, undying love was being expressed all over camp, expressed and ended within hours or days, each person moving on, undaunted.

I was still disappointed. Jack was hot, but more than that he was nice, the kind of guy who would think of me first, or so I wanted to believe. Not that I was going to find out now. Sara Mitchell was sex on legs, though not in any traditional way. She wasn’t tall or stacked or blonde or beautiful. She had short auburn hair and a pixie face with large brown eyes and a small mouth. Her body was average, but the way she moved broadcast sex appeal and all the guys had the hots for her. Sara’s reputation helped. Word got around, and word was she would put out on a first date, and word went on to say she did more than put out, was willing to do just about anything a guy might want. I recalled she and Greg Hansen having a thing at the start of last year, almost getting thrown out when they were caught humping in her cabin by one of the coordinators. Greg was slick and Sara persuasive, between them they’d talk a turtle from its shell.

Friday the world shifted on its axis when I found Brian and Cherri kissing at our picnic bench. I knew they were an item, but until then it hadn’t been in my face and I conveniently ignored the fact. Catching them engrossed in each other I turned and walked away, hoping they were unaware of my presence.

I returned to my cabin and looked in on the kids. It was after ten, dark outside, half of them already asleep, as exhausted as the rest of us. A hard core stayed awake talking but they looked like zombies, determined zombies who were away from home and planning to make the most of the freedom even if they did fall asleep in their morning granola. I said hi to a few of them, tucked in some of the quieter ones who still missed home and as I closed the bunkroom door Tonya peered around hers.

“Hey, Dani, I thought I heard you coming in.”

“Hi.” I leaned on the wall beside my own door, tired beyond belief, my mind only half on Tonya, the other half down the hillside with Cherri and Brian.

“You okay?”

I nodded, tried a smile. “Exhausted is all.”

“Aren’t we all?”

For a moment a vision flashed through my mind of Tonya and Holly as I’d seen them that morning, smooth dark skin against smooth white skin; no wonder they were exhausted.

“I guess I’ll turn in,” I said.

Tonya nodded. “Sure. Us too.” I started to turn away when she added, “If you want to talk or… anything… you’ve only got to knock on the door.”

I stopped, looked back at her. “Sure.”

Tonya smiled, not her usual confident grin but something softer, less certain. “Just so you know... you can always come to us.”

I frowned and Tonya must have noticed because I caught a flush beneath her perfect brown skin. “We’re sorry we thought you’d been telling people about us, Dani. You wouldn’t do that, I know.”

“Thanks. G’night.”

I didn’t bother brushing my teeth or washing, stripped out of my clothes and slipped under the sheet in only panties, the stiff white cotton cool against my body as I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling. A spider had formed a web in the far corner, but I’d never seen the spider. I brushed the web away each morning, and each evening it was back again. Yay, go spider.

I closed my eyes but all I saw were images of Cherri. I wondered how far she and Brian might have gone by now. Cherri talked about sex a lot, told me she’d first gone all the way when she was sixteen, and I hadn’t decided yet whether to believe her or not, but right then thinking about her going all the way with Brian troubled me. I thought about Tonya and the strange offer she’d made, trying to distract myself, but that thought was even more unsettling. Was I giving out lesbian vibes or something? I didn’t think so, but Tonya and Holly appeared to have picked up on something, unless they were just sounding me out. Did lesbians do that? Did they automatically try to seduce other women? I had no idea.

I let my breath go in a rush. If I wasn’t gay, and I hadn’t ever been attracted to another girl before, why was I feeling this way about Cherri? Only Cherri, or was I finally discovering my true nature? Maybe not such a bad idea to knock on the door across the corridor, find out what I was missing out on. Aversion therapy. Or not. Ah shit!

Chapter 10

It wasn’t me ratted them out. It could have been almost anyone, but it wasn’t me. Tonya and Holly were no great secret around camp, except to Jeff and Chrissy Simmons, though I’d be surprised if they didn’t simply choose to ignore the flouting of the rules. Everyone recognized what went on among counselors, the unwritten rules being: not in front of the kids, nothing be blatant, and be heterosexual.

Maybe it was one of the brats. A couple of them I wouldn’t trust as far as I could throw them, even if it was off the top of a cliff. I’d imagined what Tonya and Holly got up to. Jesus Christ, I’d knelt on the floor next to their door at one in the morning listening to the single bed creak and soft cries of ecstasy, hoping none of the campers would wake and ask what in hell I was doing. I only listened for a couple of minutes, but I couldn’t stop myself. I’d wake in the night and lie still telling myself tonight would be different, I wouldn’t sneak out and listen to see if they were making love to each other, and every time I was lying to myself. Often the corridor was cold and I sat shivering, unable to tear myself away. And when I finally did return to my bed I fought the next urge, aware I was going to fail until eventually my fingers crept down inside my panties and found my slit wet and eager. I conjured images of Tonya and Holly, imagining their bodies pressed together, Tonya’s dark exotic skin sliding against Holly’s pale flesh, Tonya’s small firm breasts flattening Holly’s larger globes, their mouths hungry and demanding, their hands and tongues and bodies writhing and kissing and probing and I climaxed silent and shaking in the dark, biting down on my lip to keep my cry inside.

I wasn’t sure how much longer I could take the tension. What was happening a few yards across the corridor made everything tougher, made me look at everyone in a different way. Made me think about Cherri in a different way. I’d been disappointed Jack might be taken, but as each night passed I gradually came round to the idea that a boyfriend, any boyfriend, would be better than the images of female curves filling my head, might be enough to let me get through camp without turning into a nervous wreck. I had a free night coming up this weekend, and if Jack was taken I’d ask Cherri to ask Brian if he had a friend.

What happened Wednesday morning dashed all thoughts of the weekend from my head.

I was woken early by a noise, footsteps out on the porch, the outside door opening. I rolled over and sighed, waiting to see if whoever was there would go away, but instead the footsteps came inside, voices whispering. Brats. Sneaking out or back in. What was the time anyway? I reached for the alarm, dragged it close, blearily reading the dial. Five before six. They were going to catch hell.

I threw back the covers and strode to the door, grabbed the handle and put my head against the thin ply and listened. Yup, voices whispering right outside in the corridor. I was aware some of the kids were a little scared of me. My shyness came across as stern and they weren’t always sure what to make of me.

I steeled myself and pulled the door open, preparing the balling out they’d get. As my door swung inward three things happened too fast to tell which came first, as though they all occurred simultaneous-ly, but they couldn’t have.

First I saw Jeff and Chrissy, not the kids, half crouched out in the hall, Jeff’s hand on the door of Tonya and Holly’s room.

Second was my stomach did all kinds of flips when I thought of what they would discover when they opened the door, as they were obviously about to do.

Third was they pulled the door wide and rushed into the room.

Of yeah–I should have said four, five things happened.

Tonya and Holly sat bolt upright in bed, the blanket and sheet slipping off them to show their upper bodies.

Chrissy made a kind of muted shriek somewhere deep inside and Jeff strode into the room and said in a strangled yell, “What the hell are you two doing?”

Even at the time, among all the confusion and rush I thought What do you think they’re doing? Some people, huh?

Holly lifted her arms to cover her breasts, but Tonya stayed as she was, a defiant look on her face. She glanced past Jeff to me in the doorway and the look of loathing and hate on her face made my blood run cold. She obviously thought I was the one had told on them. I shook my head in a futile effort at saying No, not me, I would never do this, but she took no notice. She swung her legs out of bed and stood tall, naked and glorious and unashamed.

The sight of her sleek dusk body seemed to confuse Jeff and he stepped back and bumped up against his wife still in the doorway. The two of them blocked my view, which was a shame, because what little I saw of Tonya was a sight I would remember the rest of my life.

She strode toward them, switching roles and Jeff and Chrissy backed up into the corridor.

Voices rose from the bunkroom. Chrissy stepped to the door and slipped inside. I heard her telling everyone to get back into bed, nothing was going on.

“Get dressed now. I’m going to wait for you outside. How could you do this? How?” Jeff kept his voice to a low, harsh whisper. His head scanned to take in both girls before he turned and strode out. Chrissy stayed in the bunkroom, obviously playing guard on the kids.

I stood in my doorway, Tonya revealed again, Holly still sitting in bed and starting to cry.

“You’re fucking dead, Walker,” Tonya said, her voice flat and cold.

“It wasn’t me! Tonya, Holly… it wasn’t me.” My voice caught, tears springing in my eyes. This was so unfair.

Tonya offered a cold laugh. “Sure. Who the fuck else would it be? I didn’t expect this from you Dani.”

“I didn’t…” Tears welled and run down my cheeks. I liked these girls, liked them a lot. Yeah, I was uneasy because they were doing what I was coming around to discovering I wanted to do as well, but mostly I liked them because they were sweet and funny and it was good seeing them together, seeing how much in love they were. I had no idea what was going to happen next.

Tonya stepped to the doorway, still naked, and glared at me. She was quivering with anger and I expected her to leap at me, but she stared into my eyes for a minute that felt like an hour, then turned away and started pulling clothes on. Holly slid out of bed and touched her shoulder and Tonya shrugged her off.

“Get dressed, honey. I guess we’re going home.”

“Ton…”

Tonya softened and turned to her lover. “Don’t worry, this isn’t the end of us.” She glanced across and looked at me. “You still here, Walker?”

The malevolence in her eyes knocked me back a step and I slammed my door as though that might stop the hate reaching through. I felt it boring through the wood, almost believing I justified her anger, guilty although I wasn’t sure why, certain I was never going to convince Tonya of my innocence. Who the fuck?

I sat on my bed and listened until they left. Chrissy Simmons opened my door. “You might need to settle your group down, Dani. I’ll come talk to you later.” She sighed, looking tired and confused. “We’ll need to find another counselor to help you out here. God, why did this have to happen?”

I shook my head, not sure if I was replying or just rattling the confusion around inside.

“Did you know about this, Dani?”

I shook my head again. Chrissy didn’t look suspicious and I thought I’d probably gotten away with my pretense of ignorance. That notion didn’t do anything to reduce the sense of guilt though.

“You sure? I don’t see how-” She dropped her head, took a deep breath. “Yeah, I can see how. Don’t worry, Dani, this is nothing to do with you. Look after the group for me, please.”

I nodded and after a moment she disappeared after her husband.

An hour and a half until breakfast and no chance the kids would settle. I told them to get dressed and we’d go for an early morning run along the lakeshore and back. A couple of the plumper ones moaned and I made it clear they either had to get back into bed and settle down or they’d be coming for a run. I hoped they’d decide getting back into bed was a better option, but of course some thought it was a great idea and six of the twelve said they were coming with me, which wasn’t what I wanted but I couldn’t back down now. I went to my room and pulled on joggers and a sweatshirt and went out onto the porch to do some stretches. Light was starting to color the sky to the east, mist cloaking the lake, drifting around the trees and cabins. I almost missed Greg, he stood so still on the covered porch of the refectory, leaning against the railing, his head caught in the light that always shone on the corner of the building. He looked directly up at me, and suddenly I knew who’d spilled the beans on Tonya and Holly.

Quick anger flared and I took a step onto the wet grass, stopped. What could I do? They were caught now, and nothing I said to Greg would change what was going to happen. Behind me kids started coming out, talking, excited, fascinated. I gathered them outside on the dew soaked grass. We did some stretches before I led them along the running track beside the lake. Mist hugged the surface, swirling and tenuous, drifting ashore so we jogged through banks of moisture, cool against our faces.

I took them a mile down the shore, got them to stretch again then walked them back. I chatted to them, trying to make everything as normal as possible, and although one or two of the bolder ones tried to ask me what had happened I managed to divert their attention.

Back at the cabin I sent them to shower while I washed my face and checked on the remaining group. They’d all gone back to sleep and the bunkroom was peaceful, redolent of a roomful of fourteen year old girls.

At seven-fifteen I woke everyone and sent them over for breakfast, followed at a quarter before eight, finding Cherri already sitting at the staff table. I grabbed my usual eggs and pancakes and slid onto the bench next to her.

She glanced at me, raising her lovely eyebrows. “So what happened, Dan?”

“What?”

She laughed softly. “Come on, girl, it’s all over camp. Not everyone’s as tight lipped as you. Tonya and Holly–spill the beans.”

I poked at my eggs, not hungry anymore, knowing I’d be starving by ten. I pushed my plate away.

“Everyone knows?”

Cherri nodded. “Pretty much everyone. Tony Reynolds saw them being frogmarched into Jeff’s place, still tucking their shirts in. They stayed inside a half hour before Jeff escorted them back to your cabin. Then they all drove off in his jeep. He isn’t back yet.”

“Shit.” I shook my head and stared down at the congealing eggs.

“What’s been going on, babe?” Cherri moved across so her leg was pressing against mine. She was offering sympathy, but after what had happened I shifted away, not wanting her touching me anywhere.

“You know what’s been going on.”

“They’re good friends, that’s what I know. Real good friends?”

“Yeah, real good friends,” I confirmed.

“And you?”

She stared so hard her gaze beat against my face, stared until I turned and looked at her.

“What d’you mean, Cherri?”

“You’re… I’m not sure I should say, Dan, but you’re a little bit…” She stopped, sighed, obviously not willing to go any further. Could she tell what lay in my heart so easily? Was I an open book to everyone else as well?

“I knew what was going on,” I said at last. “But I thought… I thought it was none of my business what they got up to after lights out… none of my business at all.”

“And you didn’t say anything?”

“I’d have told you if I was going to tell anyone.”

She nodded, shifted across and pressed her leg against mine and this time I didn’t pull away, but only because I was too tired to move.

“I guess so… So who did?”

“I’ve got a pretty good idea. But they’re not exactly a secret.”

Cherri shook her head. She picked up a piece of cold toast and chewed on one corner. “It’s not exactly allowed, but people do get together at camp. And all the counselors are over eighteen. Not like anyone’s doing anything illegal. I’d understand if it was a counselor and one of the campers, but this… Shit, Dan, this is plain wrong.” She sounded sad, disappointed.

“You know why,” I said, my voice so quiet Cherri didn’t hear me.

“What you say, Dan?”

“It’d okay if it was me or you and, like, Jack or Brian. Everyone knows that goes on. But Tonya and Holly were in charge of a bunch of fourteen year old girls. You think they’re gonna let that pass when they find out they’re fucking each other next door?”

Cherri giggled. “Were they fuckin’, Dan?”

“Oh yeah,” I nodded. “They were fuckin’.”

Cherri’s shoulders shook as she tried to keep her laugh inside and I joined in, attempting to muffle the sound in my hand, my laughter having nothing to do with humor, a scratchy hysteric edge to it.

“I’d have paid to see that, Dan.” Cherri appeared genuinely amused. Nothing was ever a problem to her.

This time I failed hold the laugh inside as it morphed from hysteria to relief. “I bet you would.”

Cherri jabbed me in the ribs with her elbow and we sat giggling like twelve year olds until time came for flagpole, and then we had to take classes and I didn’t meet up with Cherri until later in the day. Tonya and Holly were long gone by then, my mood somber. We sat at a picnic bench, no-one else around us. A ways up the shore a fire burned and occasional voices drifted down when someone whooped or yelled. Cherri plucked at her guitar, sang a few words, more often humming something with no words.

We sat for a while, neither of us saying much until I said, “I like that. What is it?”

“This?” Cherri played the chord run again, hummed a tune. It sounded both upbeat and sad at the same time, so familiar I must have heard it before.

“Yeah. That.”

“Dunno. Just made it up.”

“I like it.”

Cherri laughed. “I’ll dedicate it to you when I record it.”

“Thanks.” My voice came out sarcastic and Cherri snorted. “First or second album?” I asked.

“First, of course. In case there’s no second.” She played the chord run again. It sounded good, as good as anything I’d heard in a while.

“You got any words for it?”

“A few. Not enough to sing yet.”

I listened to her play, comfortable in the fading evening. The light had almost entirely gone from the sky when I said, “It’s going to be odd without Tonya and Holly.”

“I liked ‘em.”

“Me too.”

Cherri raised an eyebrow, waggling it like Groucho Marx.

I grinned. “Not like that.”

“Only wondering.”

I frowned. “Wondering what?”

“You got a boyfriend back home?” Cherri asked.

“Sure. Pete.”

“You fuck him?”

“Cherri!”

“That’s what I thought. A minor, C. Needs something else after the G but I can’t work out what.”

“No good asking me. Besides, I’m not ready yet.” My good mood evaporated as she reminded me of my one reluctant time. I didn’t want to tell her about Greg. Didn’t want to tell anyone about Greg.

“Uh-huh.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Nothing. Just uh-huh.” She played a series of chords. “See, F’s almost right but not quite. And B’s too… too B, know what I mean?”

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. I like boys, Cherri.”

“You like Jack?”

“He’s got a girlfriend.”

“So? You still like him.”

“Yeah, I like Jack.”

“If he didn’t have a girlfriend, would you fuck him?”

“What kind of question is that? Do we always have to fuck someone if we like them?”

“I guess. Maybe somewhere up here.” Cherri moved to the top of the neck, played some experimental chords. “But if I do that I gotta transpose everything. Fuck. I’m curious, is all. Would you?”

“Maybe.”

Cherri raised a brow. “Maybe really, or maybe fuck off Cherri it’s none of your business?”

“Yeah. Fuck off Cherri it’s none of your business.”

“Mm-hm.” She played a while, sang a couple of words: “Let me hold you in my arms, I need to taste forbidden charms… I liked Tonya and Holly.”

“You said. I liked them too.”

“You ever thought about… you know, what it would be like doing it with another girl?”

I stared at her with my mouth open.

“Hell, you must have. Everyone thinks about it, don’t they?”

I still said nothing.

“Don’t they?”

“Do you?”

“Sure. I’ve thought about it.”

“And?”

“And what? I want to taste your hidden charms…”

“You ever done anything like that?” A tremble ran through my belly, treading on treacherous ground here, exciting territory.

“Not, like, all the way, no. But everyone messes around, don’t they.”

“Do they?”

Cherri laughed. “God, I love you to pieces Dani Walker. Do they? You’re priceless.”

“You have?”

“Messed about? Sure. Couple of times.”

“You ever kissed another girl?”

“Uh-uh. Not kissed, no. Not like that anyway. Not the way you mean.”

“What way do I mean?”

“Real kiss. Like tongues and stuff. Not like that. But I kissed cousins and friends. No tongues, just friendly, like saying Hi or something.”

“You ever wondered what it’d be like?”

“Kissing a girl? Sure.”

“So why not?” I couldn’t believe what I was saying.

“Too many boys to kiss first.” Cherri laughed. “Want me to kiss you, Dan? We could find out right now. I’m ready if you are.”

“Don’t be stupid.” Scared now, scared she’d kiss me… scared she wouldn’t.

Cherri stuck her tongue out. “Wanna do the tonsil turkey trot, Dan?”

“You’re gross.”

“Ah, but I’m purty too, ain’t I?”

I slapped her and she slapped me back and we started pushing and shoving till we got too close, too personal and sat quiet for a while. Cherri left her hand on my hip.

“Seriously,” she said, “I am kinda curious, and if you ever want to give it a try you only gotta say, because I wouldn’t mind kissing you, Dan... wouldn’t mind kissing you at all.”

“I’ll take it under consideration.”

Cherri laughed. “You do that. Don’t consider too long though, the offer might have a sell by date.”

I never got close to any kiss that night because Brian and Jack sauntered up from the fire and dragged us back down there so Cherri could sing. By the time we split and returned to our beds it was gone midnight again and I swore tomorrow I really was going to get an early night.

Chapter 11

I didn’t want to, but over the next three days I started seeing less of Cherri. We still met up over meals because it was way too difficult to explain why if I started sitting with a different group, and Jack and Brian continued to join us even though Jack was meant to be going out with Sara. In fact I hardly saw Sara, only catching glimpses once or twice in the distance, as though she wanted to keep herself apart.

The world had become a dangerous place. Why did Cherri have to be so wonderful, so bouncy, so cheerful. Nothing got her down. Nothing surprised her. She discovered the best in everyone and, for some reason, she’d chosen me as her best friend for the summer and I should’ve been flattered. Instead I experienced guilt. I had feelings for Cherri I didn’t want to acknowledge; feelings I’d never experienced before. Feelings I had to stamp on because if I succumbed Cherri and I would be taking the next bus home.

Cherri showed no inkling she knew of my stupid infatuation. She smiled at me, laughed with me, continued to seek me out but by Thursday of the third week of camp she started getting the message and my heart ached, broken so bad it was never going to heal.

Late Thursday before dinner she found me as I came out of the classroom.

“Let’s talk, Dan.” She stood with her arms crossed, dark green camp t-shirt and non-conforming skirt showing her tanned legs.

“What about?” My stomach gave a chill flip.

“Come on, let’s walk down to the lake.”

Cherri fell in step beside me, slipped her arm through mine and I said, “Hang on, I forgot something,” and slipped away. An excuse, nothing more, and on my return Cherri’s accusing eyes fell on me as we started walking again. She stayed a foot away from me and I almost cried, but I had to be strong for both of us. This hurt so bad, but I had no choice. Strong for Cherri at least, if not myself.

We walked in silence until we reached the lakeshore, when Cherri said, “What did I do, Dan?”

I stopped. Cherri turned to me, her face crumpled, no sign of the Cherri I loved.

“What makes you think you did anything?”

She cocked her head to one side, no words necessary, waiting, not giving me an out, just waiting for my reasons.

Finally I said. “You haven’t done anything, Cherri.”

“Good. So we’re best friends still?”

“Sure.”

She stared at me, no softness returning to her eyes. “So why the fuck are you being so cold to me, Dani? D’you have any idea how I feel?”

“I’m not-”

Cherri punched me on the chest, knocking air out of me.

“Don’t you dare fucking lie to me, Dani Walker. Tell me what’s wrong, what I’ve done to upset you.”

“Nothing.” Tears stung the back of my eyes and I wanted to turn and run except Cherri’s stare rooted me to the spot. “You’ve done nothing, Cherri.”

“I must have. You’ve changed, Dan, and I want to know why.”

I shook my head, tears flowing now. “You haven’t done anything, Cherri. It’s me.”

“Oh baby.” Cherri moved toward me and I stepped back, raising my hands.

“No.”

“This is what I mean. What’s wrong with me!”

“Nothing. But I’m scared.”

“What’s to be scared of?”

“I can’t tell you.” How could I?

Cherri’s eyes softened, her body relaxing. “You don’t have to tell me, babe, I can guess. You don’t need to be scared.”

I laughed, gulping tears. “Like hell I don’t. I don’t want to get sent home too.”

Cherri laughed. “We won’t get sent home.”

“No?”

“’Course not. We’re not so dumb as to get caught.”

My heart thudded in my chest, my head trying to make sense of what she was saying. Did she mean what I thought she did? That wasn’t possible. She must mean something else and I was having problems her.

“We can’t take the risk. I think we should try and mix with the others some more.”

“If that’s what you want.”

I shook my head, almost giving in, but said, “Might be for the best.”

“Whatever, babe. But I’m not giving up on you. I’m not ever giv-ing up on you.”

Oh God. My heart tore in two as I watched her walk away, shoulders back, a swing in her step as though she hadn’t a care in the world. Watching the girl I loved leave me.

***

Fate. Sometimes it’s a bitch.

I didn’t have time to get seriously depressed over our break-up because after dinner Chrissy Simmons wanted us both in her office. I felt like crap standing with Cherri, guilt and misery filling me.

“Thanks for coming,” Chrissy said. “Hopefully this won’t take a minute.”

“You’re working late,” I said.

“Nothing new. Dani, I’m aware you’re on your own in Eagle, and as you two are already good friends I wondered if you’d like to help Cherri move her stuff in.”

“Into Eagle?”

“Separate rooms though.”

“What?”

Chrissy laughed. “Joking. Only joking. I trust you Dani, you’re no… well, no trouble, are you. I need an extra body in Eagle, so unless you’ve any objections, Cheryl?”

Cherri shrugged. “I guess not. Does Dani snore, d’you know?”

“Snore?” Chrissy frowned, then got the joke. “Not as far as I’m aware. You can move in tonight if you want, or wait until tomorrow.”

“Tonight’s cool for me,” Cherri said, and after making small talk about how our classes were going Chrissy obviously had more important things to do and we left.

We held ourselves in check until we turned the corner of the office block when Cherri yipped and jumped up and down and leapt on my back, her arms coming round to hug me, grabbing a handful of boob. A move I chose to interpret as a pure accident.

“Tonight,” Cherri said. “I’m moving in tonight!”

I rolled my eyes. “If you want.” Equal parts elated and exhausted. Elated because Chrissy Simmons had made the decision for me and Cherri was moving into my cabin, exhausted because I wasn’t sure I could stand much more of the emotional roller-coaster.

“Help me, Dan, we can move all my stuff between us.”

We went to her cabin and packed her things and between us carried them to Eagle. Cherri pushed open the door of Tonya and Holly’s old room and dumped her stuff on Holly’s bed.

“Is this the place, Dan, in here?”

I nodded.

“Cool.” Cherri bounced on the other bed. “Did you hear the springs going?”

“Cherri!” My cheeks warmed and I hoped Cherri couldn’t read the lie in my face.

“It’s a bummer we’re not in together, but this is good too. Do you snore?”

“How would I know? I’d be asleep.”

“I guess.”

Despite my promise to myself one o’clock came and went before we stopped talking and I dragged myself across the corridor to my own bed.

***

By Friday I had decided to forget about Jack in any way other than as a friend. I couldn’t spend my summer pining over someone unattainable; conveniently forgetting that was exactly what I was doing with Cherri, but dealing with Cherri my own way. The decision made, I discovered getting on with Jack much easier without the constant thought of him as a romantic interest. Until what happened late in the day didn’t disturb me quite so much. I may never have discovered what Jack had been up to if he’d not made such a song and dance about wanting to do more work after class. I’d checked all the trays and tools were cleaned and laid out to dry, turning the screwtops on all the bottles of developer, when Jack said he wanted to stay on for a while.

“Overtime?” I asked.

“I’ve got something I need to finish up.” His gaze skittered away from mine so guiltily I almost called him out.

“You meeting Sara again tonight?” I shouldn’t have asked, couldn’t help myself. What Jack did with his time was his own business. I didn’t like the edge I heard in my voice.

“I guess. Though I think things are cooling a little.”

My head buzzed from all the things that had gone on that day, gone on over my first two weeks of teaching. Tomorrow would be Saturday and I had a free day, wondering what I might do–sleep all day, probably–and I wasn’t listening too well to Jack or taking much notice so I just waved a hand and said, “Make sure you lock up when you’re done,” as I left.

I walked across to the refectory and grabbed a plate of chicken, this time in some kind of tomato sauce, and sat at our table, staring into the space Tonya and Holly had occupied only the week before. The refectory was full, but no one came and joined me even though five spare seats lay to either side, and I guessed Cherri and I might be tainted by what happened. Perhaps they thought we were the same. I smiled over my food. Some chance.

God, I must be more tired than I thought. What was I thinking? Where did that idea come from?

I expected Cherri to come bouncing across to join me but she must have had something else on because I finished eating all I wanted and I was still alone. Beyond the window the evening grew shadowed, the breeze that had been blowing all day dying away together with the light so the lake surface stilled and turned into a dark mirror.

I tidied my plate away and returned to Eagle to grab a quick shower, praying none of the kids disturbed me. One of the major downsides of the washing arrangements, for me, was the lack of even a door on the washroom so I always showered fast before anyone wandered in. Everyone else seemed completely unfazed at showering in front of an audience, but I’d always been shy of my body.

Afterward I went and checked on the brats. Just over half lay on their bunks reading or talking and I spent twenty minutes catching up with their day. None of them had seen Cherri and I wondered if she was with Brian. I tried hard to suppress any jealousy concerning Cherri and Brian, tried real hard, but only kidding myself I didn’t care. My emotions plunged and rose on a wild roller-coaster ride; I not only harbored inappropriate thoughts for Cherri, I even fantasized over Brian. His rough nature and tight body had an effect on me, conjuring thoughts I would never have imagined a few weeks before.

I should have done something to take my mind off these irrational notions, but instead I decided a walk along the lakeshore might clear my head. Not looking for Cherri.

I didn’t find her, but movement on the edge of the trees caught my eye and without thinking–or thinking it was Cherri and Brian–I strolled that way. The sun had set, the air grown thick with dusk, color leaching from grass and sky. The figures were shades, someone tall leaning against a tree, another figure kneeling and as I approached I realized with a start what was happening and stopped, heart beating fast, hoping they hadn’t seen me.

Could Cherri be blowing Brian? I didn’t want to see, but had to find out. I moved sideways, walking softly, the dampening grass aiding silence. As I moved what light remained in the sky fell around the figures and I recognized them with a rush of relief. Not Cherri.

Greg stood with his hands behind his head, leaning back casually, pants and shorts around his ankles, cock jutting pale from a dark splash of hair.

Sara was on her knees, small mouth stretched around the thick-ness of Greg’s cock. I remembered how thick he was, still remembered the pain of what I now acknowledged as rape. Sara show-ed no appearance of reluctance, taking as much of his length into her mouth as she could. Her hands gripped his butt, her top loosened to free her breasts which swung and trembled with her movements. All of this for Greg. Whatever pleasure Sara took would come later, or not at all.

I wanted to turn away, wanted to not witness this act of betrayal–Jack believed he and Sara were still an item–but something kept me rooted to the spot as Greg’s coarse breathing came across the still evening to me. He lowered his eyes, watching Sara work. His hips pumped, pressing his stiff length deep into her mouth, making her gag but she made no move to pull back, encouraging him on. I’d never witnessed anything so raw, so animalistic, so pornographic, no love or tenderness in the act, only animal need.

Greg lifted his head, bared belly starting to twitch.

Sara offered a muffled groan and tried to swallow him deeper still.

Greg raised his eyes, stared directly at me and grinned, witness to my witnessing, seeing directly into my head, reading the illicit excitement lying within. Then his face grimaced as his climax arrived. He bent over, gripping Sara’s hair in his hand, jerking and grunting as he ejaculated into her mouth.

I stepped back once, then again, seeking shelter or shade, seeking redemption of some kind. Greg lifted his head again, grinning even more, knowing I’d seen everything and he didn’t care. I turned away, my voyeurism discovered, and ran.

***

I stopped at the refectory, dark now, catching my breath, afraid Greg might follow, but the night cloaked me, dark and still. As I waited for my trembling to ease I noticed the warning light outside the darkroom glowing, the red lamp above the door to prevent someone inadvertently entering. Perhaps Jack left the light on when he finished. I’d give him hell in the morning. I changed direction to check and make sure he hadn’t left anything else out, tried the door and found it unlocked. Jack sat at the same bench I’d left him at, hunched over a tray. He didn’t hear me enter, too wrapped up in his work, and I crept behind him and said, “Boo!”

The way he jumped I thought I’d really scared him and I laughed.

“God, Dani, what d’you do that for?” Jack jerked the tray he was leaning over and liquid splashed his tee and jeans.

“Guilty conscience, Jack? What are you developing anyway?” No way I could tell him anything about Sara’s infidelity. Maybe they were over anyway, romance flourishing and dying at camp as fast as the life of mayflies.

“Nothing.” He turned his back, lifted a print and placed it face down in the water tray, but not before I glimpsed the image. A chill trickled along my spine. “I’ll just tidy up and then I’d better split. I didn’t realize that was the time.”

Jack tried bundling another pile of half a dozen prints into a folder without me seeing and as he moved to slip them under the bench I stepped past him and turned the print back over. I’d been right. The eight by ten black and white showed Sara, though it was hard to concentrate on her face when so much else showed.

“What’s this, Jack?”

I held the dripping print up, shocked, but another emotion bubbling up from deep down in the mix too. I couldn’t stop staring at the photograph. Sara appeared slimmer than when dressed–and in the photograph she was very undressed indeed. Her waist was nipped, belly flat, small breasts uptilted as she leaned against a moss-coated rock, erect nipples forming peaks rising from soft mounded aureolae. Her deep red hair appeared dark in the print, the neat patch between her legs dark as well.

Jack stared at the print, stared at me, mouth open, the other prints half-displayed where the folder in his hand lay open. More of the same.

“So this is why you wanted to stay behind. To develop… this?” I tried to put outrage in my voice, but I sounded weak even in my own ears.

Jack closed his mouth. Opened it to speak. Closed it again.

“What are you doing, Jack? Do you have any idea what’ll happen if the Simmons’s discover this? For god’s sake, Jack, what are you thinking?”

“It’s not so bad, Dani.” Jack finally found his voice.

“She’s naked, Jack. Bare ass naked!”

“So? Plenty of people take pictures of nudes. Some even consider it art.”

I laughed through my nose. “Art? Sweet Jesus, Jack, whatever this is it’s not art. How did you get Sara to agree to this?”

Jack seemed embarrassed. “I didn’t need to. This was all Sara’s idea.”

My mouth hung open. I was shocked, but also attempting to pretend to myself I wasn’t jealous. I’d accepted I wasn’t going to go out with Jack, but I liked him well enough, and even if I didn’t want him it was still wrong for him to be taking nude shots of Sara. Shit, my head spun, my stomach too, and I couldn’t decide whether to sit down or throw up. In the end I perched on a stool and leaned against the bench. I turned the photograph over to study more closely, instinctively examining the lighting and composition; Sara’s long legs too, at their junction her bush hiding the secret of her sex.

I must have stared a long time because Jack said, “What d’you think, Dani? Any good?”

“What?” I surfaced from some deep place. My nipples tingled and I’d grown aroused at the images of the naked young woman.

“You’ve got great judgment, Dani. Can I improve anything?”

“You plan on taking more like this?”

Jack suppressed a smile. “I guess. If Sara still wants to. It’s not like I forced her or anything.”

He sat across from me, opened the folder and drew out the other photographs. He held them toward me. “I took these too.”

I didn’t want to take them, but found myself doing so anyway, the prints dry unlike the one in my hand. All showed Sara, two of them only partially unclothed. Jack had captured Sara as she slid from her dress, bending over in bra and panties, gazing directly into the camera which caught a light in her eyes that sent a thrill down through my belly to lodge between my thighs. I sighed, shook my head.

The other five prints showed Sara naked, posing against a tree, leaning forward against a rock, glancing back over her shoulder, hair flying in a breeze, legs parted, the stance opening her sex to the camera, a teasing pose, partly shrouded, partly displayed.

“Well…?” Jack prompted.

“You expect me to give an opinion on this… this smut?”

“Come on Dani, people do this kind of stuff all the time. I want your opinion. I value your opinion. Are they any good? As photographs. Ignore the subject, what are they like as photographs?”

“Ignore the subject?” I stared at another print, Sara reclining against a bank of grass, one hand cradling a breast, the other covering her pussy. Beautiful; cool and welcoming, at the same time erotic and sultry, her pinched features only adding to the eroticism of the image.

“If you can.”

I wanted to put the photograph aside but it demanded my attention

“It’s overexposed,” I said, without a hint of irony, only belatedly realizing what I’d said.

Jack smiled, quicker than me, nodded. “Uh-huh. I can fix that. And?”

“You need more backlight to catch her hair. You’ve almost got it here,” I pointed at where a shaft of sunlight came through trees and framed an area of grass, but Sara stood only half in the fall of light making the exposure too high on one side of her body, too low on the other.

Jack nodded again. “I can see that. I guess I wasn’t being too cool when I took that one.”

I smiled. “Why’s that, Jack?”

He smiled back at me, shrugging. “Well… you know.”

“You’re going to have to get rid of these.”

“I can hide them. Don’t worry, Dani, this won’t come back on you.”

“Too right!” I tried for outrage but we both knew I’d capitulated now. “It’ll come back on you if you get caught.”

“Ah, well... If I get caught. And I won’t.”

“You can’t be sure.”

“I guess not. But I won’t get caught. Not unless you’re going to give me away. Are you going to do that, Dani?”

Jack sat across from me, his muscular body an animal presence, not threatening but impossible to ignore.

“I hope you know I wouldn’t do that.”

“I do.”

He seemed closer without moving, his magnetism enfolding me, the same thing Sara must have experienced, what made her want to get naked for him. I pictured the scene in my head, pictured the two of them, Sara naked on the grass, Jack leaning forward, aroused, showing his arousal to her, and I wondered if Jack had done more than take pictures.

Of course he had. Of course.

“You’ve got to get rid of these.”

“No one’ll find them.” He reached across and took the prints from me. His fingers touched mine and lingered and I wondered what he was thinking–wondered exactly what I was thinking before I pulled my hand away, uncomfortable with this, uncomfortable with myself. All I wanted at that moment was for Jack to leave so I could think about what this meant and whether I had to do something or not. I needed help, and the only person I could think of turning to was Cherri.

Chapter 12

I found Cherri at the lakeside beside the usual campfire, a small group of kids around her, some joining in with their own guitars. A few of the kids were good, most clunky, but they all tried. When Cherri saw me she grinned and patted the picnic bench beside her, the flow of chords and finger-picked runs hardly faltering.

I slipped onto the seat beside her, enveloped by her scent, instantly forgetting all my resolve. I don’t know how she managed. Whatever we were doing, whatever time of day or night, she always smelled fresh and clean with just a hint of some perfume I could never pin down. I’m sure I stank to high heaven a lot of the time, knew for a fact many of the kids did. Pinecrest wasn’t the kind of camp where everyone did active sports all day, but it was still camp and kids skipped showers, did a lot of walking and riding. The growing heatwave didn’t help either. Both Cherri and I had stopped wearing the camp sweatshirts and now only the dark green t-shirts with the small lettering across the front identified us as counselors. I wished I’d brought more than the one pair of shorts, wondered why I hadn’t considered the weather. Perhaps being in the foothills of the Rockies made me forget it got as hot as LA here. The previous two years at camp had been baking. A warm wind came down the hillsides, baked for days over the Midwest, only marginally cooled by passing through Rockies.

I sat next to Cherri, her leg occasionally brushing against mine, smooth bare flesh pressing–she had thought to bring almost only shorts and tiny skirts.

Cherri finished the song and leaned back, easing muscles and said, “Okay Suzie, you wanted to show us what you learned today. Go ahead, honey.”

A pretty fourteen year old wriggled a big jumbo closer to herself and stared down as she formed a barre chord. She looked up at Cherri with a gaze of complete adoration that made me suddenly hot as I wondered if that wasn’t the exact same expression I often wore on my face too.

Suzie started into Dolly Parton’s Jolene, fluffing the intro and going bright red.

“Okay, honey, we all do that. I bet even Dolly messes up sometimes.”

Suzie’s face showed disbelief, but she started in a second time and made it through the first intro. Her voice wasn’t quite strong enough to carry the song, but she stayed in tune and at the end everyone in the small group clapped.

“Good, Suze, really good, but when you get to the bridge you might want to try throwing in a different D and F shape, like this…” Cherri played four chords, singing over them, picking up the song in mid-flow, her voice slightly raspy, slightly hoarse, with a catch way back and even the few phrases she sang made my arms prickle into gooseflesh. She slowed down and showed Suzie how to add an extra finger to the D chord, making the sound richer so the contrast when she moved from F to C complemented the words.

Suzie tried the change, working slowly as she attempted to master the tough F barre chord and Cherri showed her another way which meant she didn’t have to lay her first finger across the entire fretboard. Watching them it occurred to me how much I’d picked up over the weeks. I couldn’t play, never would be able to play, but I understood most of what Cherri taught the kids. Cherri had patiently tried to get me playing guitar, shown me the half-dozen chords she said was all I needed, but my fingers wouldn’t behave, were too weak to hold down the strings and the tips hurt like hell after a few minutes. I understood the theory, even remembered all the shapes, but as for actually playing... well. And then when she asked me to sing, Cherri wrinkled her nose and said I’d just have to be a brilliant photographer and leave the music up to her.

Two more kids wanted to show Cherri what they’d learned, and after they finished and earned their round of applause she held her hands up to indicate time for bed which was greeted with a loud groan and pleas for one more song. Full dark had fallen hours ago, the heat of the day fading so I grew chilled sitting on the picnic bench on the lakeshore. After she’d herded the still complaining kids away, with a word of encouragement for almost every one, Cherri returned and sat beside me. Not across the other side of the table, but right up against me, slipping her arm around my waist.

“So you gonna tell me what’s wrong, Dan?”

How did she know? I thought I’d been acting the same way I did every evening when I joined her for these impromptu sessions, but Cherri always seemed to know what I was thinking. At least, some of what I was thinking. I hoped she couldn’t see all the thoughts crashing around in my head.

“I’ve found something out I guess I’d rather not’ve, and now I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Uh-huh. So what is it?” Her fingers lay spread just above my shorts. I felt each one individually. I told her what I’d discovered, what Jack and Sara had been up to. Cherri listened me out, a smile on her lips most of the time, obvious what her take would be. Maybe that’s why I wanted to tell her.

“That’s it?” she said when I finished.

I nodded. “I think so.”

“No jealous edge to this, Dan?”

“Jealous edge?” I feigned innocence, aware Cherri understood me too well to get away easily.

“You and Jack are pretty close. Sure you’re not upset he took pictures of Sara instead of you?”

I laughed. “As if I’d let him!”

“Why not? Were they hot?”

I nodded, answering her second question and ignoring the first. “Pretty hot, yeah.”

Cherri giggled. “As in make you wet hot?”

I glanced at her, pretending shock, but once more Cherri read my mind and I grinned. “I guess, a little,” I said, admitting the truth.

“Mm. D’you think Sara got turned on, posing for him? It’d turn me on. Oh yeah… I can’t get the idea out of my head now. Thanks, Dan.”

“What for?”

She nudged against me. Her top finger wormed under my t-shirt and started a slow exploration of my bare skin, not meaning anything, just Cherri being Cherri.

“Haven’t you ever wanted to do something like that? Throw all your clothes off and pose for someone?” Cherri said.

I laughed, nervous. Hidden back home were pictures I’d taken of myself using a self-timer and extended trigger, but no way I was going to admit those to Cherri.

“I’m the one who takes the pictures, remember?” Not exactly a lie.

“Of course. How could I forget? So you’ve never thought about it?”

I shrugged, unwilling to admit to anything.

“I’ll take silence as a yes shall I?” Cherri said.

“Would you ever do that? Have you ever thought about posing naked?”

“Once or twice, but I know I’m not pretty enough.”

“Sure you are.” I said it too fast, a little too strong, because Cherri laughed.

“Ohh, let’s do it, shall we?” She came back at me far too quick. She must have been thinking about it for a while.

“What?” Seemed to be my stock phrase around Cherri these days.

“Let’s take some dirty pictures of our own. I bet you could take ‘em a hell of a sight better than Jack. Shit, now I’m getting wet just thinking about it. God!”

Her fingers continued working my bare skin and she pulled me closer. I offered no resistance.

“I’d like you to do that for me, Dan.”

“Do what?”

“Take my photograph. Will you?”

“Shit Cherri, I came here to ask what I ought to do about Jack, not for you to talk me into doing the self-same thing.”

“Why not? Who’s gonna know? Anyway, what’s wrong? It’s not as if it’s porn… or is it?”

“No, of course not.”

“Well there ya go then.”

“You’d really let me take your photograph… like that?”

“Not let you, Dan, want you to. You’ve seduced my head now, honey, I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m gonna have to go back and bring myself off right now.”

Cherri always said stuff like that. I was never sure if she deliberately tried to shock me or was just so open she never considered some things might be private. I still considered jilling myself something I wouldn’t tell anyone else about. And certainly not how I brought myself off almost every single night now, lying in my narrow, hard bed, thinking, trying not to think, about Cherri across the hallway in her bed. I needed a boyfriend to take my mind of her. After witnessing Greg and Sara I thought perhaps that could be Jack. But now Jack had done what he had I wasn’t so sure.

Cherri’s fingers moved further inside my t-shirt, her whole hand stroking my back and I offered no protest at all, allowing her to continue upward, leaning back against the pressure.

“So you will?” Cherri asked slowly, her face turned toward me, her breath warm on my shoulder.

I nodded. “If you really want me to.”

She rested her chin against my shoulder. “I want you to, Dan. When?”

“One day soon. We’ll need the light. Can’t do it at night.”

“You could do anything, Dan, you’re clever that way.”

Oh God. Cherri’s fingers played beneath the strap of my bra and I wanted her to unclip me, wanted her to reach round the front and touch me. She could have done anything she wanted at that moment, anything at all, I had become her willing slave. Brian saved us. I’ll never know what might have happened, too lost in my own arousal to tell whether Cherri intended going further or not.

We both heard footsteps, boots on gravel, and Cherri’s hand slid out slowly, my mind interpreting the move as reluctant.

“You’re out late.” Brian perched on the edge of the table close to Cherri. If he suspected anything had been going on he showed no sign. He wore his usual faded and ripped jeans, a non-standard tee and battered leather jacket. He liked to act the bad boy, but since I’d gotten to know him better I discovered most was a front. Brian was a sweetheart. Tough, loyal, resilient, incapable of backing down from a fight either mentally or physically, but the way he acted around Cherri was exactly the way I did and because of that I liked Brian a lot.

“We were just about to turn in,” Cherri said, and her expression made my stomach flip.

“I thought we might go for a stroll along the lake.”

“The three of us?”

“Uh. No. Me and you. I thought you might like a walk before turning in.”

Cherri laughed softly. “Okay.”

Just like that. Disappointment and betrayal flooded me. A minute before I’d been sure she was about to touch my breasts, perhaps even kiss me, and now she was going off with Brian. And I knew why. Because she was as turned on as I was, Brian about to reap the benefit.

I stood and walked away.

“Hey, Dan.” I stopped as Cherri called out. “You won’t forget, will you?”

I didn’t turn back, but raised a hand in acknowledgment. “I won’t forget.” She could do what she liked, play around with who she liked, and I’d still be waiting. I hated myself for my weakness, but I couldn’t control myself where Cherri was concerned. I raised my hand in a farewell, not knowing if either of them even noticed me as I walked away to Eagle and my waiting bed. I tried to sleep, but still lay awake when I heard Cherri come in long after midnight.

***

By Thursday of week four I hoped Cherri might have forgotten about my taking pictures of her. Not that I didn’t want to photograph her naked, but beginning to recognize my obsession for her well enough to realize I’d be doing myself no favors. Being around Cherri disturbed me enough already. So when Jack and I finished our morning class and he asked if I wanted to go sailing with him I said sure.

“What about Sara? She isn’t going to mind you… you know… taking me out?”

“It’s not a date, Dani, it’s only sailing.”

I shrugged, locking the classroom door and reaching up to stash the key.

“Besides,” Jack said as I fell into step beside him, “what I do is none of Sara’s business anymore.”

I slowed. “You broke up?”

“More like she dumped me.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, Jack.” But I wasn’t, and he may had heard that in my voice.

He glanced across. “I’m not. Good thing.”

I waited for him to say more but he stared ahead.

Most of the kayaks, canoes and sailing dinghies were still out on the water, but a couple of older boats remained tied to the jetty.

“Are these safe?”

“Sure. Probably safer than the others. They’re old and slow which is why they’re still here, but they’re all solid boats.”

Jack tossed me a life-jacket and I caught it one handed. “How do I do this?”

Jack laughed and came back, walking easily on the swaying dock.

“You’re going to have to take your vest off first. You don’t want to take that anyway, just in case.”

“In case of what? I thought you said this was safe.”

“It’s safe. but there’s always an in case, and you don’t want to dump all the stuff you’ve got in your vest on the bottom of the lake.”

Even the thought made me shiver and I unzipped the front, went back and laid the vest on a picnic bench. Everyone in camp knew it belonged to me, so the vest and all it contained would be safe. I’d have been happier taking everything back to my room, but too excited now, pleased Jack had asked me, wondering if there might be another reason. I liked Jack. Liked him a lot. And going out with Jack would solve so many other problems.

Jack showed me how to fasten the lifejacket, my breasts flattening as he pulled it closed. My hair was tied back from class and I caught the ponytail under a cap and Jack walked out over the dock. He stepped into the dinghy, hardly noticing the rocking, turned and offered his hand. I put one foot in the boat which instantly moved away from the dock. Jack leaned over and grabbed the jetty, steadying everything up.

“You have to get in fast or you’ll end up doing the splits.”

“I don’t think I can do the splits.”

“You’d be surprised what you can do when one foot goes this way and the other stays there. Quick, Dani, come in now.”

I put both feet into the bottom of the dinghy and sat down fast. Jack started pulling on wires and ropes and before I worked out what was happening he’d loosened the ties holding us to the dock and raised the sail. Wind caught in the white plastic and suddenly we were moving. Jack stepped back and sat across from me, grabbed a piece of aluminum attached to something over the back and we turned, the wind catching more of the sail and the dinghy tilted. I gave a yelp and grabbed onto the side behind me.

Jack laughed. “It’s okay, Dani. That’s gonna happen all the time.” He moved the stick thing and the boat turned, the sail flipping over to the other side and re-filling. This time I was more ready and leaned back as the boat tilted. Jack sat up on the edge of the dinghy and leaned out, his weight leveling us up. He pulled on ropes, adjusting the sail, pushed the stick and wires creaked and water slapped against the hull and I started to get an idea why he enjoyed this so much, the wind our only power, pushing us hard against the water.

“I thought you said this boat wasn’t fast.” I had to raise my voice above the sound of water slapping against the hull.

“She’s slow, real slow.”

“This is slow?”

“Sure. We’re going around six knots. That’s slow. See the Lazers? They’re fast.”

I turned, still gripping the side hard, watched the smaller, slimmer boats darting across the water. They did seem a lot faster than us.

“We’re gonna have to turn in a minute, Dani. When I say, you’ve got to cross over to this side. I’ll cross behind you. And you need to duck down, or you’ll get a crack on the head from the boom.”

I shook my head. This sounded real complicated all of a sudden.

“What’s a boom?”

Jack slapped the aluminum pole attached to the mast and sail.

“Get ready.” Jack ducked, peering under the front sail.

“Ready.”

“Tacking,” Jack said, and started moving across. I tried to crouch up without letting go of the side. Jack stood with his feet planted wide, waiting for me. The boat turned, pitching from one side to the other and the sail moved across.

“Duck,” Jack said and I crouched down. “Move!” Jack caught my arm in his hand and pulled me across to the other side, moving lithely as I crossed. He sat on the far side as the boat pitched hard over, leaned back and brought us level. I put my ass on the seat and tried to breathe again, if I could.

“God Jack, this is so complicated!”

He laughed. “It’s not, Dani. You’ll get the hang of it soon.”

We moved out from shore, racing to the far side, moving past the groups of kids learning and beyond until open water lay in front of us. Jack kept tacking–telling me that was the name for each change of direction, also explaining some of the parts of the boat but I forgot most of them–until we were a half mile along the lake. Over on the camp shore an old barn sat close to the water surrounded by trees, romantically abandoned, upper floor extending over the lake. I wanted to come back and photograph the barn, took note of the location so I could return later on dry land.

When Jack reached over and grabbed my hand I thought he was making an awkward pass, but he only curled my fingers over the tiller–I remembered the name–and then let go himself.

“Jack!” I squealed.

“You’re steering now.” He sat back and stretched his arms out along the sides, crossed his long legs and grinned a big shit-eater grin.

“Jesus Christ.” As I moved the tiller the boat twitched and swayed , responding like a wild animal.

“Little movements, Dani, gentle as you can. The faster we go the more sensitive she is.”

“Fuck, Jack!”

His laughter rolled across the lake. “I’ve never heard you cuss before.”

“Well I’m fucking cussing now. Take this back.”

“Uh-uh,” Jack shook his head. “She’s all yours.”

I guess if I’d threatened to tip us over he’d have taken control again, but we ran through the ripples, the sound of water rushing past beneath the hull, and after a few minutes I found an accommodation with the dinghy. My control was still as rough as all hell but I no longer believed we were going to flip out.

“We’re getting close to shore. You’re gonna have to tack and turn us back around.”

“Me?”

“Sure you.”

“Jeez, Jack, what do I do?”

“When I say, pull the tiller toward you. Not all the way, about to your thigh. The boat will start to turn. As it does watch the sail. As soon as it starts to move across, step over and duck under. Keep the tiller pushed over until you sit back down, then straighten up.”

“I’m not gonna remember any of that!”

“If you screw up I’ll step in.”

“Thanks.”

Jack grinned at the sarcasm in my voice. “You can do this, Dani, and then you’re gonna do it again and again. Before the end of summer you’ll be an expert. If you want to be.”

“You’d teach me?”

“Sure.”

“Are you any good?”

“Now, Dani. Pull toward you.”

The boat pitched. The wind hit the front of the sail and it started to flap.

“Move now.”

I reached one foot over, found I still had the tiller hard against my body, my knuckles white and Jack grabbed his hand over mine.

“Step back. We’ll try again in a minute.”

As soon as I sat back he released my hand.

“Okay, again. Watch out, here comes the sail.”

I ducked. The sail cracked over and re-filled, the boat pitching as the wind did its thing.

“Straighten up.”

I sat awkwardly on the side, pulled the tiller back, overdid the move and we started to turn again, caught myself in time and the dinghy leaned over. Wind filled the sail. The tiller went tight in my hand and a flutter trembled through the handle as water ran past.

“Sit up on the side, like I did.”

“I’ll fall in.”

“No you won’t. Try.”

I perched my ass on the narrow rim of the dinghy and it leveled out.

“The flatter you keep us the faster we go. Remember that.”

“Is this how you teach all your students?”

Jack laughed. “No. I usually tell’m what they’re supposed to be doing first. But I knew you’d catch on.”

“Thanks,” I said, and gave a stupid grin.

Jack stared into my eyes and I killed the grin. I gazed ahead, adjusting the tiller as the wind in the sails propelled us forward. I felt good commanding the small boat, harnessing the power of nature to skim over the lake, starting to appreciate the attraction. Starting to appreciate the attraction of Jack too.

We sailed half the afternoon away, only coming in because I had a late class and Jack was due to play soccer with Brian’s team. Jack allowed me to bring the boat almost all the way in, only taking over for the last stretch, spilling wind from the sails, jinking and turning, creeping up to the jetty and doing something complicated with the tiller at the last moment so we drifted and bumped against the fenders. Once Jack had tied up I stood and stepped out with confidence.

Jack walked with me back toward the classroom when I stooped suddenly and he bumped into me. “My vest.”

“It’s on the picnic table. I’ll go.” He ran down the slope and I waited, watching him cover the ground with long-legged strides. When he came back he carried no vest.

“Are you sure that’s where you left your vest, Dani?”

“On top the bench.”

“Nothing there now.”

“You got the right bench?” I started down to the lake.

“I searched all of them. There’s no vest.”

I went with him back to the lakeshore but Jack was right. No vest.

“Maybe somebody handed it in.”

We went to the office block. Chrissy Simmons said nothing had been brought in today.

We returned to the lakeside, me getting worried now. The vest held everything I valued, most of all the F2. It might be old and battered with the alloy body showing through in places, but the Nikon was a piece of professional equipment and would last forever. My dad had bought the camera in the sixties, carried it with him through Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, the Middle East, most countries in Africa and all the countries of Europe. There was nothing on the film I couldn’t stand to lose, but I needed the camera, which had become as much a part of me as my hands and feet.

As I continued searching Jack went for help, returning with Cherri and Brian and a bunch of kids from my class who’d been waiting for me. I flipped chaotically from one place to another, coming back to the first not remembering if I’d looked hard enough. Jack organized us, splitting us into pairs and we fanned out along the lakeside. We started at the top of the camp and worked our way along. Perhaps someone had returned the vest to my cabin. I told Jack and he said: No, let’s finish here first.

We took two hours. The light had started to fade when a fourteen year old girl called Annie shouted from beneath a stand of trees. I ran toward her, Jack and Cherri behind me, ducking beneath overhanging boughs. The trees grew down to the waterside here, some with their roots stretching out, branches touching the water.

Annie pointed beneath the surface. “There’s something down here.”

I leaned on a branch, peering into the lake. Hardly any light reached the water beneath the tree cover, but something showed under the surface, something light, and as I stared I realized it was my notebook, fallen open, floating half way between the lake bed and the surface. I didn’t hesitate, plunging in, wading out as cold water rose to my chest. I ducked beneath the surface, eyes open, and retrieved the notebook, kept looking and glimpsed the vest on the bottom, weighted down with camera and lenses, lifting at one side where cans of film made it buoyant. I dived down, grabbed and missed, kicked down again and reached it.

My hair plastered across my face as I waded back out, notebook in one hand, vest in the other. Jack and Brian came to help me, taking an arm each though I hardly noticed. We ducked up through the trees, came out into a perfect evening and I dropped the vest and scrabbled around. The camera was full of water and I twisted the lens off and let the body drain. The 50mm lens had leaked water. I heard liquid slosh about inside as I shook the lens. The 35mm was damaged as well, but I had left my longer lenses in the cabin. I pulled the spoiled film out and stuffed it in a trashcan. Only when I surveyed the pieces scattered over the bench and discovered the ruined notebook containing all my notes going back over ten years did I lose it completely. Silent tears filled my eyes, trailed my cheeks and dripped onto the soggy pages and smeared ink. A lot of my life had been in those pages, a lot of memories, stupid numbers to most people but every scrawl meant something to me.

“Hey, babe, it’s okay.” Cherri knelt, put her arms around me and pulled my head onto her shoulder. She stroked my wet hair, lifted my face and kissed my eyes. “Can anything be fixed?”

“I’m not sure.” My voice hitched. “Some. Not this.”

“We’ll get him for this.”

“Who?”

“You know who. Greg. We’ll pay him back some way.”

“It might not-”

“Who else could it be?”

Jack and Brian hovered nearby. The kids and other helpers had all vanished. I’d have to find the girl who discovered my vest and thank her.

Cherri was right. Greg had done this. I’d hoped things might smooth over between us, but obviously he wasn’t ready to let go yet.

“Why, Cherri? He’s going out with Sara now. Why’s he still picking on me?”

“Because he’s a shit and a bully and he thinks he can. Well, he’s not met anyone like me before. No-one messes with my friends. No-one.”

“Leave it, Cherri. This stuff can be fixed. Most of it.”

She stared into my face, no backing down in hers.

I dismantled the Nikon and laid the parts out in my room in the hope they’d dry out enough to be usable. Otherwise I’d be forced to use the cheap Praktica’s supplied for the students. I couldn’t tell if the 35 and 50 lenses would ever be okay. As they started to dry moisture remained trapped between the glass, a thin fog clouding them. At least I had the two longer lenses safe.

Cherri sat across from me on the spare bed, saying nothing, watching my fingers work. She stayed while I stripped out of my wet clothes, too stunned to worry about her seeing me naked, and when I dressed in another pair of pants and cotton shirt she laughed and said, “Christ, Dan, don’t you have anything else to wear?”

I made a sound, half laugh, half cry. “I got a linen dress.”

“Then why not wear it?”

“Keeping it for a special occasion.”

“What special occasion?”

I shook my head. “Dunno.”

“Saturday.”

“Saturday what?”

“Special occasion. I’m gonna tell Brian he’s driving us into town. We’ll go paint the town red… or pink at least. We’ll make a foursome. Me and Brian, you and Jack. Say yes, Dan.”

“What if Jack-”

Cherri’s laugh interrupted me. “Fuck, Dan, have you seen how he looks at you, those puppy dog eyes?”

“Really?”

Cherri rolled her eyes. “You don’t realize what a babe you are. Jack’s gonna come with us. You could get him to do anything you wanted.”

I shrugged and Cherri laughed again, a dirty chuckle. “If you want him to do anything, that is.”

I glanced at her. “Are you and Brian…?”

“Me and Brian what?” Her mouth turned up on one side.

“You are, aren’t you!”

“Are what?”

“Ha. Don’t play coy with me, Cheryl Redmond. You and Brian are doing the dirty thing. You are, aren’t you?”

“Are we that transparent?”

“No. Not Brian. But you are.”

“I’ve changed my mind. Go back to being blind, Dan.” Cherri bounced to her feet, short skirt bobbing, hair bouncing. “Now, I’m completely starving. Let’s go eat.”

I stood and walked down to the canteen with her. Going in we met Greg and Sara coming out and he stopped, eying me up and down.

“I heard you went swimming this afternoon.”

“You cunt!” Cherri got between us, punching his chest hard with both fists. “You leave her alone or you’ve got me to answer to.”

Greg glanced down at her tiny frame and shivered. “Ooh, I’m scared.”

“Good. You should be.”

Greg laughed and pushed past her.

“Stick up to him, Dan,” Cherri said. “Bullies always back down if you stand up against them.”

“I don’t want any trouble.”

“You might not want trouble, but trouble’s what you got, girl. You need to stamp on it right now or he’s gonna make your summer hell.”

“I’ll be okay.”

Cherri sighed. “Come on, let’s eat.” She thought I was a lost cause.

Jack and Brian were already at our table. They’d finished eating, obviously hanging around waiting for us to turn up, and Cherri sat down and told Brian he was taking us all to town whether he wanted to or not. Jack lifted his eyes to mine, shy, and I gave a half nod.

Chapter 13

The drive into town was ten miles, and I enjoyed every single yard, sitting in back of Brian’s car with Cherri, Jack and Brian up front, Jack leaning back and talking to us. Unbelievable scenery drifted past the lowered windows allowing pine scented air to billow in. Brian drove slowly, the twisting mountain road not allowing for anything else, and I was glad he wasn’t one of those guys who needed to prove their macho credentials by squealing round every turn.

The town sign for Redwood told us “Pop. 7,000” but I had no idea where they’d all gone, the single main street completely deserted and we could have driven through the whole town inside a minute. Brian pulled up outside a diner with big glass windows and the imaginative name of Redwood Diner above the door. We’d arrived mid-afternoon but we’d all skipped lunch so went inside and sat at a window table, teenage kids the only other customers. The waitress appeared to be about thirteen, but I guess she must have been older. We ordered burgers with fries, extra onion rings for the guys and milkshakes all round. The food came fresh and hot and we ate slowly, relishing something not covered in a pale sauce. It felt good sitting in the sunlight coming through the window, laughing and joking about whatever came into our heads. Cherri and Brian sat on one side, Jack and I on the other: coupled up. Cherri fed some of her fries to Brian, making a show, his hand dropping several times to her thigh. Cherri made no move to discourage him. Jack was a gentleman, still unsure of me, I think.

Before we left camp, when Cherri and I had gone to our room to get ready, I’d been about to wear another cotton shirt and pants and Cherri, standing in just her bra and panties told me no way was I allowed to get away with that, so I wore my one dress, the linen freshly ironed but still creased from the journey down. I had no tights so my legs were bare, lightly tanned after wearing shorts since my arrival. Cherri tied my hair back and caught it in a large wood clip. She told me I should show my neck, it was one of my best features. She also waggled her eyebrows as she stared down into my cleavage and said for sure the boys were going to spend most of the afternoon staring too. All of this as she stood in front of me barely dressed, the heat of her body touching mine, her scent filling my head, the sound and presence of her making me dizzy.

Once Cherri satisfied herself I was ready she dressed quickly, a low cut tank top revealing the edges of a pale blue bra and another of her endless supply of filmy short skirts to display her stunning legs. When she twirled to show me the effect the skirt billowed up to reveal her panties, tiny pink ones that barely covered her ass. I waggled my eyebrows like Cherri had and we clutched each other, giggling as we left the cabin to meet Brian and Jack.

We hung around in the diner until six, ordering pie and coffee, finally walked out and crossed over to the shaded side of the street where a small bar had opened up. Worth a try, but the barman took one look and shooed us back outside.

“I don’t want to drink anyway,” Brian said.

“I do,” Cherri said.

“I got two hot girls to look out for. Wouldn’t want to drive off the road.”

“Depends what distracted you.”

Cherri teased Brian, touching him often, brushing up against him and as we strolled along the sidewalk I couldn’t miss the effect she was having on him, the bulge in the front of his jeans obvious. Jack and I were getting on too, and when he took my hand I didn’t pull away and let him swing it between us. Cherri winked, slipped her arm around Brian’s waist and climbed up to kiss him on the cheek.

“What are we gonna do next then if we can’t get drunk?”

“Anything you want,” Brian said.

“I don’t want to go back yet,” Cherri said.

“What about this?” I stopped on the sidewalk so abruptly Jack kept going, tugging his hand free of mine. They turned and came back. I pointed at a ragged poster stapled to a telegraph pole.

“Live music, tonite–why do people always write that–eight till late. Bar.” Cherri read the poster and nodded. “Yeah, let’s go dancing.” She glanced at each of us. The guys were keen, so I nodded too. It could be fun.

The time was only seven so we walked back to the car and sat inside, this time Cherri and Brian in front, Jack and I in back. Although shaded now the car had been parked in the sun, roasting inside, sweat popping on my skin even with all the windows rolled down. We talked about camp and ourselves for a while and I discovered Brian had finished his first year in college, a year older than the rest of us. He went to Stanford, surprising me when he said he was studying film production. Someone less like a movie person I’d never met. Brian was good-looking enough, but he projected a no-nonsense, mid-western air that didn’t match his obvious ambition.

After a while Cherri and Brian started kissing in the front seat and Jack’s arm, which had been lying along the back of the wide seat, slipped down onto my shoulder. I watched Cherri’s mouth being kissed by Brian, wondering idly what she tasted like, and when Jack’s hand touched me I moved toward him, aroused and confused, a strange mood slipping over me. Maybe being away from camp, the novelty of being in adult company with no kids milling around, maybe the emotions I’d been trying to suppress about Cherri, but whatever the reasons I was horny as hell and when Jack moved closer I let him kiss me, and when his hand covered my breast I didn’t stop him. My nipple came instantly hard against his palm and he rubbed his thumb across the obvious peak showing through my dress. Nothing was going to happen. We were parked on the side of the street, people walking past on their way to the gig, and after a while Jack and I stopped kissing and cuddled up together, neither of us talking. I felt good in his arms, experiencing the certainty of his strength around me.

More people started passing the car and Cherri said, “I think it’s starting soon.”

We climbed out, straightening our disheveled clothing and followed others down a side street to what must have once been a barn. Two bikers on the door took five dollars from everyone and Brian paid for us all. Inside the space was already half full, more people arriving all the time. A stage at one end held drums, an electric piano and guitars on stands. Black covered amplifiers hummed softly, lights blinking green and red. To the left of the stage a bar had been set up on wooden tables and we pushed our way through and this time no one asked for ID and we pushed back out with two bottles of beer each and stood to one side as the barn filled. The noise grew louder, voices rising as they were forced to talk over all the other voices and I had to lean in close to hear what anyone said, Brian’s lips brushing my ear as he asked if I wanted more beer and I nodded and leaned in to Cherri and said, “This is fantastic.”

She turned and put her mouth against my ear. “You and Jack seem to be getting on.”

I grinned, changed position. “You and Brian too.”

The two beers had given me a pleasant buzz, my body loose, ready to dance, ready to let my inhibitions go.

“I really like him,” Cherri said.

I raised my eyebrows at her. “As in really like him?”

Cherri grinned. “Oh yeah.”

I needed this. A chance to do something normal, to escape the hothouse confines of camp where I’d been obsessing about this girl.

Brian returned with more beer and I swallowed half my first bottle down so fast suds fizzed out my nose and Cherri howled with laughter just as a bunch of guys walked on stage and everyone moved forward, taking us with them.

A tall man with long hair and dark skin stepped to the microphone. He wasn’t traditionally handsome, or even good-looking, but he had that thing, the charisma some musicians have. “Hi, I’m Adam and we’re the Himalayans and we’re gonna play you some loud fuckin’ music tonight.”

The moment he stopped the introduction the band came in strong, loud and perfect from the off and Adam sang in a soft-hoarse voice about someone on a beach and the four of us and the three hundred others around us all started jumping wildly up and down.

The band played two hours straight before announcing they needed a drink and would be back in thirty. Rather than disappear back stage–if a backstage existed and they hadn’t just been hanging around out back of the barn–they jumped down from the stage and moved through the crowd to the bar. As the singer passed us Cherri caught his arm.

“You were fucking amazing,” she said, and kissed him hard on the mouth. He looked surprised, then started enjoying himself.

When Cherri stepped back he nodded. “Thanks.”

He moved on to the bar, progress slow as others wanted to say the same thing to him, the remaining band members ignored. He had something special, making it impossible to ignore him.

I’d sweated most of my earlier beer out, my linen dress clinging to my back, nipples showing through the front. Jack pushed up against me, kissed me, his hardness pressing against my belly and I wondered what I’d do about that later. Things were going fast, and I wasn’t yet sure I was ready for them to go further.

Brian and Jack went to the bar and Cherri and I stood in the queue for the restroom. She slipped her arm round my waist and bumped against me.

“So are you gonna let him?”

I looked down at her grinning face. “Let who what?”

“Don’t play innocent with me, babe. You and Jack. You gonna do the bumpy thing?”

“It’s our first date, Cherri.”

“So? I let Brian fuck me first time. Enjoyed it, too, both of us.” Cherri broke up at the expression on my face, leaned in close and hugged me, lifting her face close to mine. “And from the signs, I think Jack’s even bigger than Brian.”

“I’m not gonna let him fuck me,” I said, enjoying the way Cherri’s boobs pressed against mine. I wondered if she was aware how stiff my nipples had grown, didn’t care, so wet between my legs, not knowing if that was because of Cherri or Jack of just the atmosphere in the barn.

The queue moved a few paces and we shuffled along, arms still wrapped around each other but half the girls around us were doing the same thing, though I bet they weren’t all sharing the same kind of thoughts as me.

“I’m so fuckin’ horny I’m gonna make Brian stop on the way back and fuck me. You do what you like, Dan, but Jack’s one of the good guys. You do know that, don’t you?”

I had been forming that opinion. “I’m not gonna let him.”

“Not tonight, or not ever? Fuck, Dan, are you on some kind of weird celibate kick?”

“Not tonight!” I said. “Maybe sometime, I don’t know. But not tonight.”

We had almost reached the door to the restroom.

“Your choice,” Cherri said, “But I’d want to fuck you if I was Jack. You’re so hot in that dress tonight.” Cherri ran her hand down my side, rested it against my hip, looked into my face and the moment felt awkward but she didn’t appear to notice.

The restroom came free and I let Cherri go first but she tugged me after her so we went in together, like most of the girls ahead of us had.

She tugged her panties down and sat and let loose while I turned my back and stared at the door to catch up on the latest news. Apparently Cindy sucked cock, Maggie took it in the ass, and Patti loved Mike. Good for Patti. I guess good for Cindy and Maggie too.

Cherri wriggled around me. “You’re turn, sweet tits.”

I pulled my own panties down and sat and let the beer go. Cherri didn’t turn around but leaned on the door and stared at me, at my face, not lower down otherwise I’d have been too embarrassed to pee in front of her even though that was the way our friendship started. Our meeting seemed years ago, not four weeks since the afternoon we walked through the forest.

“It’s good to see you dressed nice for a change, Dan. You ought to do it more.”

“Not my thing, really.”

“Could be. You’re so beautiful, you know, and that dress sure shows your figure off nice.” She did glance down now but I’d finished and tugged my panties up. Cherri peeked down the front of my dress at my cleavage, unashamed, blatant. She shook her head. “Such sweet tits,” she sighed.

I flushed and slapped her on the arm and we went back out to find the guys and drink more beer and listen to good loud rock music.

We finally left after midnight. Walking through the alley from the barn three guys stood in our way, drinking from bottles. We slowed and waited but they made no move to part even though they stared directly at us.

Cherri took a pace and said, “Excuse us, guys, can we get through?”

The taller of the men eyed Cherri up and down, nodded. “Anything for you, sweetheart.”

I glanced at Brian, expecting anger but his expression remained calm. The men made a space and Cherri went through. As she passed the tall guy reached out and grabbed her breast. Then Brian moved, so fast it seemed like telekinesis, grabbing the man and lifting him from his feet, slamming him against the brick wall. Brian got right in his face.

“You made a mistake, buddy. You going to apologize to the lady?”

The man’s companions started to move. Jack stepped between them and Brian, facing the two down, his face still, arms out from his sides, waited. The men stopped, unsure, three against two but Brian and Jack giving off an air of quiet menace.

Brian lifted the man higher still. I knew he was strong, knew he was tough, but the guy must’ve weighed over two-hundred and Brian wasn’t even breaking sweat. He got even closer to the guy’s face.

“I said the lady is waiting for an apology.”

“Forget it, Brian,” Cherri said. She too appeared totally calm, unlike me. My heart hammered in my chest, adrenaline flooding me uselessly. Fight or flight my ass; I couldn’t do either.

Brian shook his head. “I’m waiting, bub.”

The man glanced at Cherri, back into Brian’s eyes. Something happened to his face and the aggression drained away. He mumbled something as Brian let him down so his feet were back on the ground.

“She didn’t hear you.”

“Sorry lady. I guess things got out of hand. Real sorry.”

Brian nodded. “Good. Better.” He released his hold and patted the guys shirt. Brian turned. Jack fell into step beside him. The three men stood back against the side of the alley and let us all pass. As we walked toward the main street I kept expecting them to call out or come running, but when we turned the corner I glanced back and they were talking among themselves.

Cherri laughed and leaped on Brian’s back. “My hero!” She kissed his neck and cheek, wrapping her legs tight around his waist. “I’ll have to think of some way to repay you.”

Brian laughed. “No need, babe.”

“But I want to. I insist.”

“You insist?”

Cherri kissed him again, still clinging to his side, her tiny skirt riding high. “Insist, insist, insist.”

“In that case I’m far too much of a gentleman to disappoint a lady.”

“You are. My knight in shining armor. Shining leather jacket any-way.”

Jack took my hand as we reached the car. Cherri got in front with Brian as we slipped in back.

“Are you okay, Dani?” Jack asked.

I nodded. “Fine. You were a hero too, Jack.”

He grinned. “Do I get a reward as well?”

“We’ll see.” I hadn’t been planning on anything more than some hot petting, but the small incident in the alley had changed the atmosphere, everyone full of adrenaline, seeking some kind of release. My heart stopped hammering, but I remained wired.

Brian drove carefully out from town. Luckily the local cops seemed to go to bed early and we passed no one, and besides I’d noticed that although Brian bought us beers all night he’d been drinking Coke. Up front Cherri moved closer to Brian and I half guessed where her hand went because every now and again the car jerked over the white line before Brian pulled us back to our own side.

Cherri whispered in his ear and five minutes later we pulled off the road and bounced across a meadow. Brian killed the engine and lights and we all sat for a moment listening to the wind through the grass. Then Cherri turned and straddled Brian and kissed him. As I wondered what to do Jack pulled me against him and kissed me, his tongue coming into my mouth and his hand finding my left breast. I should’ve said something but didn’t. We kissed for a while and I discovered I liked Jack’s hand against my breast, liked it even better when he popped the top three buttons on my dress and slid his fingers inside against my bra. I wanted his fingers on my naked skin but afraid if I was too obvious he’d think I wanted something else too.

Moonlight flooded the meadow, came through the windows and lit us, showing me Cherri still astride Brian, her blouse full open and her bra loose allowing her perfect small breasts to be kissed and nipped by Brian’s lips. Cherri arched back, twisting away from the steering wheel, then she lifted up and manipulated clothing and I knew her panties were gone and Brian’s jeans would be round his knees. She shifted, whispered to Brian and he nodded and fumbled down to where his jeans were and handed something to Cherri. She ripped the foil pack and grinned and her hands went out of sight. Brian moaned as she rolled the rubber onto his invisible cock and then she lifted herself, eased down, wriggling as she embedded herself onto him.

I was staring, and when Cherri leaned past Brian and stared directly back I couldn’t turn away and she looked into my eyes, no grin on her face now as she began to rock against him, staring at me the whole time, capturing me, color flushing her chest and neck as she moved against Brian but stared at me.

Jack finally got up the courage to reach behind and unclip my bra, and somewhere along the way more buttons came loose on my dress. When he pulled my bra away the air felt so good against my skin I offered no resistance when his lips closed around my nipple. I wrapped my hand around the back of his head and pulled him against me as his mouth sucked, a thrill running down through my body.

Cherri continued staring at me, her mouth open now, breath coming fast, Brian making grunting noises and clutching her ass, encouraging her. Cherri watched Jack suck on my tits and then glanced up at me and nodded, as though giving her permission. Stupid. Out of control, manipulated and drifting but not wanting anything to change I realized with a sudden urgency I was more turned on than I’d ever been in my life. I broke eye contact with Cherri and reached down to open Jack’s pants, found his cock with my fingers and tugged the weight of him loose. I don’t know if Cherri was right, if Jack was bigger than Brian or not, or even if Jack was big, but his cock seemed enormous in my hand as I started to stroke him. I had only ever touched one cock before, that of my boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend now, I guess, seeing as how I had someone else’s cock in my hand and Jack was now pushing up under my dress, fumbling to find a way inside my panties.

I bit his earlobe and said, “You can take ‘em off, but you can’t fuck me.”

He didn’t appear to understand.

“Take my panties off, Jack.” My voice trembled.

He didn’t need prompting a second time. I lifted up as he drew my panties along my thighs, undoing the last buttons on my dress myself and lay back against the seat, fully exposed to him. I glanced at Cherri to find her staring at my body, eyes glittering. She rocked fast against Brian, looking like she was ready to pop.

Jack’s fingers came back to brush my bush and then slipped along my crack. I was melting, dampening my thighs and I shifted to give Jack better access, shifted so I could reach his cock more easily. My hand circled his shaft, the thick purple head of his cock slick with pre-cum and I shivered as Jack slipped two fingers inside me.

I kissed his neck and said, “Jack.”

He returned the kiss, his lips soft, urgent against mine. “What, Dani.”

“You can’t fuck me, but I want to make you come.”

He nodded against me, and I half believed he was relieved.

“Make me come too,” I said against his neck.

Cherri leaned back against the dash, knees lifting each time Brian thrust into her, her breasts shaking, Brian’s hands gripping Cherri and holding her up. Cherri’s arms snaked around his shoulders, her head lolling back. She’d probably come already and looked on the point of coming again as Brian grunted and stiffened and emptied himself into the rubber inside Cherri.

Jack and I were close behind, both of us teased by the events of the day, half aroused since we’d started out and I rubbed Jack hard as his fingers bloomed an ache in my belly and the ache spread and washed through me. I bit his shoulder and he jerked in my hand splashing hot and sticky and slick across my arm and leg. I laughed and rubbed him harder and heard Cherri laugh too and looked up to find her leaning over, watching, her breasts spilling over the top of the bench seat, her eyes devouring my body. It was the very first time I realized I might not be the only one harboring illicit thoughts. I stared at her face as Jack’s fingers, still moving inside, tipped me over again and I shuddered and slumped back watching a smile spread on Cherri’s pretty mouth.

***

Brian and Jack returned to their own cabin and I sat with Cherri on the porch outside the photography classroom. Somewhere after two in the morning and all around us the camp lay silent, lights burning outside each cabin. Nothing moved, but from the woods animals called, screamed or trundled through leaves. The moon rose three-quarter full. Over the lake mist hovered in a layer six feet deep, lapping at the shore, curling to drift around the canteen and the cabins close to the water.

“I don’t know, Cherri,” I said. “They’re kind of private to Jack and Sara.”

“Aw, go on, Dan. You know I’m not gonna say anything.”

I sighed, knowing I’d give in, wondering whether I should play the pretense out any longer. Cherri leaned against me, the scent of sex clinging to her and I guessed she could smell it on me too. She dropped her arm down between my legs so the back of her wrist brushed against my thigh and I pretended the move was unintentional, knowing it wasn’t.

I got up and reached the key out of its hiding place. No light grayed the eastern horizon, the sun another two hours away from rising. I unlocked the classroom door and Cherri came in tight behind me.

Jack wasn’t aware I knew where he’d hidden his prints, not that many places they could be, and I found them on the third try. No one else would ever discover them, but the lab was as familiar as my own bedroom. I pulled one of the filing cabinets forward, then eased a plank of wood away from the wall, reached inside and found the folder wrapped in a black plastic photographic paper wrapper. I laid it on the desk and switched on a small lamp.

“You can’t say a word about this to anyone.”

Cherri nodded. “Cross my heart,” and she did, running her fingertip between her breasts, staring back into my eyes.

I pushed the folder across to her, half persuading myself that as long as I didn’t open it then this was all down to Cherri, troubled to be giving away something private of Jack’s, but deep down excited at Cherri’s reaction. She didn’t seem to share my reservations. She slipped the folder from the plastic and pulled the flap back. Inside were negative sheets and prints, ten black and white ten by eights and Cherri laid them out on the desk side by side and leaned over.

She studied each one a long time, when finished returning to earlier prints. She drew three down from the line, put the rest back.

“These are hot, Dan, aren’t they?”

I nodded, swallowing. The first showed Sara kneeling, exposing her ass and pussy, her breasts swinging loose as she gazed back over her shoulder. In the second Sara lay on her side, leg raised, one hand cupping her own sex, another cupping her breast. Her nipples were stiff, her expression sultry. The third displayed her on her back, arched over a mossed rock. Her breasts were covered by one arm but her pussy lay clearly exposed between parted thighs, long fingers stretched inside her thigh as though about to enter herself.

“Did you really mean it when you said you’d photograph me, Dan?” Cherri spoke without taking her eyes from the prints.

“I meant it.” My voice sounded hoarse with arousal and I tried to cough it loose.

“I didn’t know what to expect, but these are… whoo, these are something else. I wanna be even hotter for you, Dan. Can I be even hotter when you do me?”

“You sure you want that?” We were talking about taking her picture... weren’t we?

“Right now you could get me to do anything at all. I’m so turned on right here I think I might melt.”

I laughed nervously. “Don’t do that. I’d have to clean up after you.”

She looked up at me. “God Dan, I need to make myself come again. D’you mind?”

“No, go ahead, I’ll put these back and catch you later.”

“No, dumbo,” she said. “Now. Right here. I wanna do myself here in front of you.” She stared openly at me, her eyes flashing a message I deliberately chose to ignore.

“In front of me...?”

Cherri nodded. “Brian made me come, but I need more than a cock tonight. I need something wild. Something... wicked. I need to do this in front of you. Will that gross you out, Dan?”

I shook my head, swallowed. “I don’t think so.”

“Get a camera,” Cherri said. “Pretend you’re taking my picture while I do myself.”

“Cherri,” I said.

She smiled, not her usual grin, this one slow and sexy. “I’m gonna take my panties down and I want you to take my picture when I bring myself off.”

I nodded and reached for a camera, not knowing whether film was loaded or not, knowing that wasn’t the point. The small lamp cast a tight pool of light, on the edge of the illumination Cherri lay back against the bench and lifted her skirt, revealing those tiny pink panties. Where the prominent mound above her pussy pushed against the cotton a large damp patch had formed. It might have been there all night, but I didn’t think so.

“You got enough film?” she asked, playing along with the pretense.

“Plenty of film.”

Cherri ran the back of her finger over her panties, shivering.

“I need to take ‘em off, Dan.”

“Uh-huh.”

Her face was serious as she slid a finger in under the elastic. The panties were so tiny her pubic hair curled out around the sides and top. Cherri rocked her hips, pushed her fingers further beneath.

“God Dan, I’m so horny. This isn’t gonna take long at all.”

I watched her fingers working beneath the cotton, watched the damp stain spread. Cherri pulled the panties to one side, her fingers sliding to enter herself. I glanced up and she was watching me.

“Make me come, Dan,” she groaned and I pressed the shutter, knowing if the camera had any film that was the shot, the one I wanted to keep.

Cherri’s fingers made a slick liquid sound as they worked inside herself, speeding up, her panties slipping back so her sex became obscured but the sight still hot. So, so hot. Her body started shaking, waist jerking in and out, thighs trembling and when I sat back she grunted, “No, I’m ready again, keep going,” and made herself come again, and then, finally, a third time until she sank back exhausted, splayed before me, the aroma of her arousal thickening in the air, mixing with my own.

I sat on my heels trembling. I’d almost come myself just watching Cherri, still watching her. She rolled her head straight and sat up, reached across and took the camera from me.

“Your turn,” she said.

“What?”

“Don’t tell me you don’t want to, Dan.” She grinned that Cherri grin, sat on her heels, displayed and unashamed and lifted the camera. “How d’you do this, like this?” She pressed the shutter, wound on.

“Yeah, like that,” I said.

She looked at me over the camera. “Go on, Dan, I want to watch you too.” Her voice thick with lust and I could refuse her nothing, drawing up my linen dress. My fingers touched my sensitivity and I shivered, almost crying out at the arousal coursing through my body. I pushed my hand inside my panties, allowed two fingers, then three to enter. Cherri came across, stood close and fired shots down at me as I bucked and writhed and stared at her unbelievably beautiful body and dreamed she was kissing my breasts and my mouth and… kissing my pussy… I wanted to kiss her, taste my pussy on her lips, for Cherri to taste her pussy on mine. I came hard and sudden, muffling a cry and Cherri came lower, kneeling, her knees pressing against the outside of mine, so close to me I could have reached up and touched her and only an effort of will stilled my hand from rising.

As arousal drained from my body to be replaced by embarrassment, I closed my dress and still Cherri stood near until I took the camera from her. I turned away, making myself busy, putting the camera away and out of habit pulling up the spool pin and rewinding to discover that a film had been in the camera all along. A jolt ran through my stomach. The lighting was awful, and probably nothing would come out, but I rewound a film that might have captured images of both of us and I wondered what to do with it. I released the back of the camera and pulled the film spool free. I should snap it open now, expose the film to the light, destroying all evidence of our illicit actions. But I couldn’t do that, the spool burning inside my palm.

Cherri came close behind me and slid her arms around my waist, closing them in front of me, her breasts pressing against my back.

“I’m bushed now, Dan. You coming to bed?”

I nodded, slipping the film canister into the side pocket on my dress.

Chapter 14

I started to believe Cherri had forgotten my promise to photograph her. A week passed and then on Wednesday Chrissy Simmons came to tell us a new counselor was arriving for Eagle. Almost half way through our ten week stint, but they’d received late applicants, decided to take new people on to make up the numbers in the cabins with only two counselors. The new people were being taken on as general counselors, so Cherri and I would be spared the cleaning and other drudgery we had been landed with.

We were both in a good mood as we walked back to Eagle and Cherri bumped against me, grinning. “I wonder what the new girl will be like?”

I shrugged. “As long as she likes cleaning.”

Early evening, the hour between the end of activities and start of dinner. Half our kids lay on their beds reading, writing home, chatting. The bunkroom was quiet, soft voices discussing the day’s events and I thought what a wonderful bunch of kids we had.

I kicked off my boots and wriggled my toes inside my socks as I lay on the narrow bunk under the window. Cherri appeared at the door with a pile of bedding.

“You’d better move all your shit off that other bed, Dan.”

“You’re moving in here?”

She cocked her head to one side. “You don’t want me?”

“No, sure, yeah that’s great. But why now?”

“You know why I couldn’t before. Not after Tonya and Holly. But I’m not gonna share a room with a new girl when you’re over here. But if you don’t want me here just say so and I’ll move all my shit back-”

“Don’t be a doofus. Of course I want to share with you.” I bounced off the bed, ridiculously pleased, grabbed my rucksack and spare clothes off the bed and dropped them on the floor. “I’ll help you make up the bed.”

Cherri didn’t have much and within ten minutes she’d moved in. The smell of her invaded my room, filling my chest and head with her essence and I couldn’t keep a sloppy grin off my face. Some of the girls came and peered around my door–no, wrong, around our door–won***dering what was going on.

“We’re getting married,” Cherri joked to Jessica, one of the wilder girls.

“Isn’t that why the last pair got thrown out?” Jessica asked, her face sweet and innocent but a wicked glint in her eye.

Cherri threw her pillow. Jessica ducked and she missed.

“Bring that back for me, Jess,” Cherri said.

Jessica obliged, swung the pillow and smacked Cherri across the head, that same sweet smile on her innocent face.

“Brat! You’ll pay for that.”

“I won’t tell,” Jessica said. “As long as you’re quite and don’t wake us up with all your moaning.”

I’d stopped being shocked at how worldly our bunch of fourteen year olds were. Modern life, what did I expect? Baywatch on TV and every girl wanted a thirty-six inch bust and tiny ass and to wear a red bikini and run along the beach with David Hasselhof.

“Remember I can make your life real tough,” Cherri said, trying for stern.

Jessica only laughed. “Yeah. You and the tooth fairy and Santa. But why are you moving in together?” Jessica leaned on the doorjamb, slim arms crossed over her budding chest.

“A new counselor’s arriving tomorrow,” I explained.

“And you’d better watch out, bud, because I hear she’s a hard case,” Cherri added.

Jessica rolled her eyes. “Like you two then? I think I’ll cope.”

Cherri grabbed her pillow and Jessica ducked out of the doorway. I lay on my bed, arms behind my head, staring at the ceiling. Girls went past the door waving to us as they went on their way to dinner. I stayed on the bed, watching the spider making her web in the far corner of the ceiling.

“What are you grinning at?” Cherri asked, swinging her legs off her bed and sitting up.

“I’m not grinning.”

She laughed. “Big shit-kicker grin all over your face, honey. What’s so amusing?”

I glanced at her, tiny and oh so blonde and oh so beautiful and continued to grin. “You’re funny,” I said.

“And you’re weird.”

“That’s why we make a good team.”

Cherri nodded. “I guess so. You ready for more fuckin’ pasta and chicken?”

“I suppose.”

“I wonder what this new girl’s going to be like?”

“We’ll find out tomorrow.”

Cherri slipped her arm through mine as we walked into the hallway, slipped free again as we went outside.

***

Turned out the new girl was great.

“I’m Amanda, but everyone calls me Mandy.” She grinned. “Or randy Mandy in uni.”

We both frowned. She came from England, her accent real cute but neither of us understood a word she said. She was pretty, red haired and a little overweight. She came into our room–already I thought of it as our room–and sat on Cherri’s bed while Cherri and I sat cross legged at either end of mine and told us she’d started in college–she said university–last year and wanted to try something different this year during her vacation. Mandy studied pre-med, which impressed the hell out of both of us, but she didn’t make out she was any better than anyone else. We’d get on. She seemed good with the kids, and they liked her straight off, which is more than they did with me, and she wasn’t thrown when she discovered she’d be doing all the cleaning and other dull jobs around Eagle.

She joined our table at lunch and dinner, charmed Jack and Brian, and after we finished eating Cherri went back for her guitar and Mandy joined us at our usual bench. We had an hour of sunlight before the far ridge cast it’s shade. Jack leaned against me, arm round my waist, fingers lightly stroking my belly under my t-shirt. I wondered whether we would last the rest of summer, this only ever going to be a summer thing. It’s what happened at camp. But it felt good to have his arm round me, good to have his fingers touching my skin. Good to have a distraction from Cherri.

“We’re going into town again a week Saturday,” Brian said. “You two want to tag along?”

“Can’t,” I said. “We don’t get the same day off.”

“You do now,” Jack said.

“We do?” I was being particularly dense. I’d forgotten when it was only the two of us in Eagle we couldn’t have the same day free, but now Mandy had arrived we went back to Saturday and Sunday off. “Of course we do.”

I liked the idea of another trip to town. I’d already decided to let Jack go further than last time. Maybe not all the way, but pretty much all the way if he wanted. Cherri had other ideas.

“Can’t do next week.”

Brian stared at her. “You can’t?”

Jack stiffened against me. He’d been expecting me to say yes.

“We got something we have to do. How about the week after?”

“I guess.”

Cherri moved closer to Brian, dropping her hand to his crotch. “You know I’ll make it worthwhile waiting, don’t you?”

Brian nodded, bewitched. I knew just how he felt.

Much later back in our room I asked Cherri what was so important.

“You forgot,” she said, pouting.

“I did?”

“I haven’t.”

“What are you talking about?”

“We’re going to find somewhere quiet and you’re going to take my picture.” She grinned, lifted an eyebrow. “You know… my picture?”

I had forgotten. Or pushed the thought from my mind. I didn’t need any more temptation. Cherri wandering around in bra and panties right in the room with me was bad enough. The idea of Cherri with nothing on was… no, Dani, don’t go there!

“I thought you were joking.”

Cherri shook her head. “Not joking, Dan. You think I’d turn down Brian for a joke?”

Cherri unclipped her bra and tossed it on the floor. Before she pulled on the t-shirt she slept in I couldn’t fail seeing how her pretty little nipples stood to attention. She caught me watching and grinned, gave her boobs a little shake. “And that’s just a taster. Wait’ll you catch the rest.”

I threw my pillow at her, then had to get out of bed to fetch it when she didn’t throw it back.

***

Excitement trembled through me as I locked the classroom because Jack had asked me to go sailing again, excited at the prospect of some time alone with him. Much as I loved Cherri, when she was around she got my head all muddled. Alone with Jack everything seemed much clearer, calmer. Thinking about Cherri reminded me of what happened after our last trip into town, reminded me I had a roll of film burning a hole in my pocket, crying out to be developed. I didn’t know if the shots I’d taken of Cherri were good or not, if my excitement had clouded my skill. Maybe I would find out later. I wouldn’t tell Cherri because she’d want to come with me and she’d probably get excited and start acting all Cherri again, and I wasn’t sure if I could hold out if she started doing that, if I could prevent myself touching her like I wanted. The temptation always lurked in the background and I fought hard, knowing if I gave in our friendship would be at an end, Cherri, of course, completely unaware of what effect she had on me.

I reached up and slid the key into its secret place. When I turned Sara stood on the grass, hands on hips.

“Hi, Sara. You want something?”

“Don’t fuck with me.”

“I’m not… what d’you want?”

“I want to know what you’re doing with Jack.”

I stared at her. “Jack? Is what I might be doing with Jack any of your business anymore?”

“He dumped me for you, you know that?”

“He didn’t dump you for me. Way I heard, it was the other way round. You dumped him for Greg.”

“No.” Greg’s voice startled me as he came round the side of the cabin where he’d obviously been listening. “I was a friend to start with. A shoulder to cry on.”

I laughed, the response immediate, as much from shock at their claim as anything else. “Wasn’t his shoulder you were crying on when I saw you.” I said to Sara.

“I want Jack back.”

I was astonished. What the hell was going on here? I glanced at Greg. “You have anything to say about this?”

“Whatever Sara wants.”

“Even if it means you can’t have her?”

Greg grinned and shrugged as though that was up for debate. Despite everything I knew about him, everything I’d experienced at his hands, his grin remained electric. “Who says? This is 1989 Dani, we live in a liberated world these days.”

“You’re evil. Both of you.” I stepped down from the porch meaning to push between them but Sara grabbed my arm, her fingernails digging in.

“I’m warning you.”

“Warning me? Or what?” A small part of me observed my anger in amazement. This was a new Dani Walker, a Dani Walker I hardly recognized.

Greg put his hands on my shoulders, pushed me back hard. My foot caught on the edge of the step but I managed to keep my feet. Greg kept coming, slamming me against the classroom wall. He came up close, his face in mine.

“You don’t know how dangerous we can be.”

I was mad now. Cherri’d been right, ignoring Greg wasn’t going to get me anywhere.

“Let go of me now!”

“Or what?” He threw my words back at me, pressed against me making his arousal obvious. This violence was turning him on. Sara stood beside him, leaning against him and also against me, her breast flattening against mine.

I squirmed. “You fucking leave me be, both of you. What if I tell Jeff you harassed me.”

Greg laughed, Sara joining in. “Tell him. It’ll get you nowhere. We’ve nothing to fear from Jeff or Chrissy.”

I had no idea what he meant, not then, not until much later.

Greg’s hand explored my body as though I was a willing partner. I slapped them away, but as fast as I did Sara’s fingers replaced his. They prodded and pulled and pinched and I slapped Greg’s face and he laughed.

“Hit me again, Dani, you know I like rough.”

“Get her down. Hold her,” Sara said, her eyes bright.

I raised my knee hard but I’m no fighter and Greg avoided me easily. His foot swept behind mine, unbalancing me. I landed hard on my side and Greg dragged me along the narrow porch, partially out of sight behind the railings. While he knelt across me and held my arms Sara started unbuttoning my shirt. I rolled my head, rocked my body but to no effect. Sara grabbed my breasts through my bra, squeezing them painfully.

“Nice tits,” she said, pushing her fingers inside the white cups.

“Undo me,” Greg said.

Sara grinned. “I want to watch.”

“Sure. I want you to watch.”

Sara loosened Greg’s belt. A sense of total unreality enfolding me. What the hell did they think they were doing? Six in the afternoon, the sun still high, people walking around and soon they’d be going in to dinner and… soon everyone would go in to dinner and no-one would be around…

Sara managed to get Greg’s pants open and reached inside, struggling to pull his rigid cock from his shorts.

“Dani!”

They froze at Jack’s voice.

“Dani, you here? I thought we were going sailing.”

“Jack!”

He heard the panic in my voice, his feet loud on the porch and Sara spun away and put herself between him and Greg. Jack kept coming, pushing her aside as like a bundle of straw. Greg rolled off me, stood and faced Jack.

“What the fuck’s going on here!” Jack’s voice had never sounded so cold, so filled with anger.

“Just a little fun.”

“Jack.” My voice was weak and I held my hand to him, not sure I could rise on my own. He leaned toward me and grabbed my hand, his touch comforting. Everything was going to be okay now.

Except Greg pushed him and Jack fell sideways against the cabin wall.

“We haven’t finished. Dani’s begging for it. You know what a slut she is.”

Jack hadn’t fallen. He used the wall to launch himself at Greg, grabbed him around the shoulders and they both tumbled backwards. They hit the railing and I heard it crack as they fell through, wood splintering. They rolled across the grass. I discovered I could stand without any help, followed through the broken rail and rained punches down on Greg’s back. He sat on top of Jack, hitting his face and chest. Then someone hit me from behind and I turned to find Sara swiping at me. I’d had enough, way more than enough and I pushed her hard so she went down on her ass, her face a mask of shock. I followed through, landing on top of her, slapping her cheeks, her shoulders, her arms, and she tried to fight back but all I saw now red mist.

I might have killed her–though probably not, I was slapping, not punching, and her raised arms took most of my blows–but for hands pulling me back. I spun again, determined to face up to Greg, determined to put an end to this stupid feud but it wasn’t Greg but Jack. He put his arms round me, holding me as I collapsed against his chest.

Greg rose to his feet, a hand to his nose leaking blood, all the fight gone from him. He helped Sara and they stepped away, far enough to be out of reach if Jack decided to attack again.

“This isn’t over,” Sara said, her voice bitter.

“Get lost,” I said, surprised how firm my voice sounded. “Grow up and stop this stupid feud now. I don’t even know what this is all about.” I glared at Greg. “We had a fling. Two years ago, for god’s sake, for two weeks, and then you ruined any chance we ever had! What the hell is this all about?”

Greg didn’t reply, his eyes burning, and at that moment I’m not sure he knew himself. Things had gone too far, emotions ramped so high he couldn’t back down. But he would. This had to stop.

“Fuck off,” Jack said, and they turned, Sara throwing a final bitter glance at me. If not for Sara Greg might’ve stopped our feud, but something in Sara couldn’t be tamed, a wildness like the wildness in Cherri except with Cherri it was positive, a thing of joy that in Sara had turned dark and bitter, poisoning her soul.

I hugged Jack and whispered, “Thanks,” against his chest.

“You have to tell Jeff and Chrissy. You can’t ignore this.”

“Greg’s been warned off now. It’ll be okay.” I pulled away from Jack’s arms, surveyed the damage to the railing. “I’d better go report this though.”

“How are you going to explain it?”

“I’ll tell them I tripped and fell through.”

Jack laughed. “Sure, they’ll believe that.”

“Of course they will.”

“Dani, you don’t weigh a hundred pounds. Who’s gonna believe you could break those railings?”

I shrugged. I didn’t care. Believe me or not, that was the only explanation I’d give. “Don’t say a word to Cherri. I want this to blow over, not get fanned.”

“I think you should tell her.” The way Jack looked at me my face turned warm, something in his eyes, something loving but hurt that brought a pain to my chest. He was a good man, and I didn’t deserve him to think the way he did about me.

“I’ll think about it.”

“I guess the sailing’s off.”

I shook my head. “Give me ten to report the railing. I’ll meet you on the jetty. I need to let the wind blow through my head.”

Jack nodded. “You’re amazing.”

I laughed. “Sure I am”

“I mean it, you are.”

“So do I.”

Jack grinned, not believing a word, same as me.

***

I didn’t get to develop the film that night because I’d forgotten Friday was show night. Cherri’s kids, and those from the dance and performing arts classes put on a show every Friday after dinner. Cherri and I had to go, in fact almost the entire camp were in the big barn where a makeshift stage had been created from bales. We sat through some dance, a short play, and then Cherri’s group came on, individually or formed into groups and played and sang. Cherri played too, singing three covers in her husky, sexy voice. By the time the concert finished I was too tired to think about going to the darkroom and collapsed into bed.

The days went on. Cherri and I talked with Brian and Jack, and Tuesday after dinner Jack took us both out in his dinghy and sailed us around the lake. Cherri loved it, and I realized I was beginning to get comfortable in the tiny craft. Jack sat at the back–though he kept telling us to call it the stern–doing his steering and tacking thing, while Cherri and I lounged at the front. Jack’s eyes flicked between us, eating us both, obviously enjoying having two girls in his boat and we played up to him, wrapping our legs together, shifting when the boat turned so we rubbed against each other and even though we were only teasing Jack it felt pretty damn good to me. Our display also had a pretty visible effect on Jack. He wore a pair of loose shorts beneath a camp sweatshirt and we both saw the thick ridge formed as his cock stiffened.

When we came back Cherri walked on ahead to the cabin, leaving me to say goodnight to Jack. He kissed me and pressed his cock against my belly and I said, “Not tonight, Jack,” and he nodded, accepting my refusal, a perfect gentleman and I liked him for that. I wasn’t ready for sex with him yet. Maybe never.

When I got back to the cabin Cherri was in the shower. I checked on the kids, sat on a few bunks and caught up on their day, called in on Mandy who was reading a Stephen King and we laughed as she told me how the book scared her but she couldn’t stop reading. Cherri was in bed when I got back, her face glowing, hair damp.

I went to shower and when I got back she was asleep.

The time went fast, one day following the next, then the next Friday night after the concert, as we lay in bed across from each other Cherri said, “Tomorrow, Dan.”

“What about tomorrow?”

“You can’t have forgotten. Tomorrow, yeah?”

“Tomorrow?”

She rolled onto her side, propping her head on her hand. “Don’t be dense, Dan. You’re taking my picture. Tomorrow.” She stared at me.

“Haven’t changed your mind?” I asked.

She shook her head. “Nope. Have you?”

I shook mine back. I hadn’t, though I’d half wondered if she might’ve forgotten. Half hoped she had, half feared she hadn’t.

“Tomorrow then,” I said.

Cherri grinned. “Yeah.”

***

I lay exhausted in bed unable to sleep, arousal surging through me. Across the room Cherri breathed softly, asleep almost as soon as her head touched the pillow. I rolled onto my side and reached under my pillow for the film canister that still lay there. It felt hot within my palm, the mere idea of what might exist on the film making me shiver. I touched my breasts, naked beneath my t-shirt, found my nipples rigid, stupidly sensitive, so sensitive I was barely able to touch them, so sensitive I had to touch. Images of Cherri sprawled across the wooden bench in the darkroom replayed through my mind, the way her fingers moved slowly inside herself as her stomach clenched and thighs shook.

I rolled the film canister over my nipples, the thought of the latent images causing an odd thrill to run through my body. I slid the aluminum cylinder down, pushed my hand inside my panties and touched myself. I was so wet, so horny. I needed to bring myself relief. I tucked the film back beneath the pillow and rolled onto my back, slipped my panties down on my thighs and slid two fingers into my pussy, instantly soaking them. My knees lifted the thin blanket and I worked fast, fingers inside, thumb hard against my clitoris. Within moments my breath grew ragged, within minutes the bed shook as I went into spasm, biting down on my forearm to stifle a scream.

Afterward I left my fingers inside, relishing the wantonness of what I had done. I sighed deeply and rolled onto my side again. Maybe now I could finally sleep.

“Better?” Cherri said from out of the dark.

“Um... I thought you were asleep.”

“Obviously.” A giggle followed.

I was at a complete loss, embarrassed Cherri had witnessed my lack of control. The silence stretched, uncomfortable for me. Finally Cherri said, “G’night then, Dan.”

“Goodnight, Cherri.”

***

Sunday I rose early despite not getting to sleep until almost dawn. Early but not so early all the kids and Mandy hadn’t already gone for breakfast. Cherri lay on her back, mouth open, dead to the world. Silently I dressed in cargo pants and shirt, slipped on my fishing vest which had dried with stains running through it and tiptoed out. All over camp kids and counselors were starting their day. Scratch games of soccer, baseball and volleyball were beginning. I saw Brian leading a group of kids out on horseback for the eight mile trek around the lakeshore. He looked good, moving as one with the animal beneath, long hair blowing in the breeze. Out on the lake kayaks formed a line, making their way over the still water like a line of ducks. I heard music of different kinds coming from several cabins and smiled. I felt like myself again, dressed in combat gear, vest weighed down with the Nikon, which had dried okay, and the two long lenses, hiking boots encasing my feet making me stick to the ground like I was held by magnets. I climbed the hillside and slipped between the trees, following a trail north toward the barn I had seen from the dinghy when Jack took me sailing.

The sound of camp fell away behind, replaced by the not quite silence of the woods. My feet crunched through dead leaves and pine needles. The scent of the woods filled my head, the dim coolness calming me, allowing me to stop spinning my wheels thinking about Cherri. Thinking about what we did last night, about what she heard me doing, about what I kept dreaming I wanted to do, Cherri and me, what I so wanted to do with her.

After a while I guessed I was too high so when a narrow trail led downhill I followed, branching off again a moment later. I came out on a pebble beach, trees crowding close to the water. Over the lake the kayaks had split up. Dinghies now joined them, faint voices carrying to shore as counselors shouted instructions. The buzz of the safety boat rose and fell, surging forward, slowing, the nose rising sharply before dipping back.

I turned right and pushed through undergrowth, briars and fallen branches catching at my vest until I came to a wide track deeply rutted by wheels. The track rose up the hillside behind, disappearing into the woods. A hundred yards ahead in the other direction the track ended at the barn, which appeared even more romantic from this side, leaning drunk on aged timbers, a platform protruding from the upper floor above which stood a stout post that still held a rusted pulley. I imagined this place a century before, loading wheat or barley onto boats.

I walked down the track to the barn. Wide double doors hung askew, a thick chain that once held them secure hanging loose where the wood had rotted around its clasps. Inside shafts of light entering through broken planks illuminated the large space. Bales of straw were piled on the far side, closer old stable blocks lined the nearer wall. The upper floor covered half the top area. A wide-runged ladder led upward.

I took a light reading, set the Nikon to f5.6 and 1/125th of a second so the focal length was shallow and ran off half a dozen shots, moving around the ground floor, kneeling, standing on tiptoe, framing the images without thinking, working with light and shadow. When I was ready I stamped hard on the bottom rung of the ladder. It held firm and I repeated the action all the way up. Inside the barn was still dry with little sign of rot, an air of long abandonment gathered about itself as though no-one had entered here for decades.

A thrill ran through me. This was my place now, my secret place, a refuge from the madness of camp and the madness of my own thoughts.

I tested each step as I made my way to the platform extending over the lake. The floor was good, solid pine boards which drifted dust as I stamped on each but held firm. The platform was closed off by smaller twin doors and I tugged at them. Nothing held them closed but neglect, and after straining and pulling the right hand door came reluctantly back and sunlight flooded the barn. I stepped outside, the air suddenly cooler. Even out here the floor was solid beneath me and I walked to the edge, grasped the thick frame supporting the roof and leaned out to stare into feet of water, the lake so deep beneath I saw no sign of the bottom. I loved this place already.

I took more shots over the lake, but they were only landscape, it was the interior that fascinated me. I turned back inside, jumped up and down and ran shots off capturing the drifting dust moving through sunbeams.

More bales of straw were piled up and I pulled them into a chair and sat, resting the camera on the makeshift arm. The seat was surprisingly comfortable. I got up and dragged another bale over, sneezing at the thick cloud rising from its movement, sat again and put my feet up. Better.

I lifted the camera and took another photograph before the dust settled, leaned back and closed my eyes, lids pink from the sun splashing me, falling on my face and chest, warm and comforting as I drifted.

I awoke cold. The sun had moved round, leaving my side of the barn in shade. I glanced at my watch, amazed to find it was mid-afternoon. God, I must have needed to catch up on my sleep. Still I made no move, lethargic, my body soft and indolent. I lifted my hand and touched my breast, placing my palm over the full mounds. My secret place, my secret safe place. I twisted a button loose, another, thinking of nothing other than the complete stillness of my body and deep inside a trembling need that seemed constantly present these last weeks. When my shirt was open I ran a finger along the top of my bra, shivering at the sensation against my skin. I sat forward and unclipped myself, letting my bra drop into my lap. The air on my breasts brought my nipples erect and I touched them, pulled on them. I was no stranger to onanism but usually found my efforts accompanied by a rushed sense of guilt. In my own bed I feared discovery by my parents or brother. Last night I’d been overheard by Cherri. In this barn I could be myself, free, liberated.

I leaned over and pulled off my boots, stood, unclipped my pants, unzipped and let them fall, bent and tugged my panties down. I slipped from my shirt and dropped my loosened bra on the bale forming the side of the makeshift chair. I sat, straw prickling against my bare ass forcing me to stand. I stretched, naked. Sunlight flooded the far side of the barn and I walked across the dusty boards, turned to face the sun, its rays warming my skin. I touched my breasts again, allowed my hand to drift down where it needed to be, jerking when my fingers reached their target, almost too sensitive to bear. My fingers found me wet… no, soaking, wetter than I ever recalled, a climax lurking ready to pounce, my entire body a mass of nerve endings each crying out for stimulation. I walked quickly back to the makeshift bench and leaned back, ignoring the pinch of straw beneath me, the tweak only adding to my arousal. I spread my legs wide, lifting my heels to rest them on the bales and plunged three fingers frantically inside myself. I was sure I would come almost at once, but instead I peaked fast, held against the precipice for an age, working myself to the tipping point then holding, working harder, drawing closer before reaching another plateau. I’d never experienced anything like the next half hour, my body almost too sensitive to touch but each touch triggering new waves of pleasure. I rocked from side to side, rolled over to my knees and thrust my ass in the air, my breasts shaking and swaying beneath me, my hand touching them: light, hard, squeezing, stroking, pulling.

The moment grew closer and I rolled back, watching my fingers enter myself, the tension drawn like a bowstring ready to loosen, drawing closer, drawing tighter, and then I was tumbling, shuddering and gasping, trying to force my entire fist inside myself and my pussy ejaculated against my hand, another first, wetness covering my fingers and splashing on the dusty floor. I shivered, jerked and fell back exhausted, my fingers lying alongside my leg, my breath loud in the quite confines of the barn.

“Oh Cherri…” I whispered into the fragrant dusky air inside the barn, knowing now where I had to bring her when I took her photograph.

Chapter 15

Early next Saturday we grabbed breakfast as soon as the refectory opened and managed to beg extra rolls, some cheese and apples. I called into the darkroom and stocked up on fresh film, adding one of my own spools of high quality transparency. As I packed everything into the pockets of my fishing vest I discovered my hands trembling and finally admitted to myself I was turned on at the idea of what we were going to do. I’d been trying to ignore all thoughts of the coming photo shoot but now the day had arrived I was ready. When I walked out Cherri waited outside grinning.

I think she’d dressed specially for the trip: the same short filmy skirt she’d worn on the day we met, a dusky red tank top showing the edges and straps of a pale blue bra, and walking sandals I’d never seen before. So Cherri could be practical when she chose.

“Any idea where we’re going?” Cherri asked.

“I’ve got somewhere might be good.” I had been to the old barn a few times by myself, though never quite repeating the madness of my first visit. I was ready to show my secret place to Cherri. I led the way up the hill, the route familiar now, following the main trail for three hundred yards, turned left downslope and after another hundred yards we came out on the old rutted trail.

“Where are you taking me, Dan?”

“Somewhere special.”

Cherri laughed and bumped against me as we moved through the shadows cast by trees overhanging the track, the rich scent of pine needles and loam surrounding us. Rain had fallen overnight but the ground beneath the thick tree cover lay dry. I was interested in Cherri’s reaction as we turned the corner and she caught her first sight of the barn.

It stood as drunken as ever, dilapidated but for me always magical. I experienced a sudden nervousness. The barn was my place. My special place. The barn called to me in some way I didn’t fully understand. I’m a ‘burbs girl, northern LA, our large house set on Camarosa Drive in Santa Monica, but this dilapidated old place touched a part of my heart that had been waiting all this time to be touched, completing me. Stupid, but that’s how I felt.

Cherri stopped and my heart beat fast.

“Is this the place?”

I nodded, then realized she wasn’t looking my way.

“What d’you think?”

“It’s old... Is it safe?”

“Sure.”

“Yeah?”

“Sure. I checked it out. It’s safe.” I giggled. “Not quite as safe as houses, but...”

Cherri glanced at me. “Leave the jokes to me, Dan. Okay, let’s go.”

She went on ahead and I held back, watching, I seemed to be always watching Cherri. Shafts of sunlight caught her as she moved through them, illuminating the air around her, making her thin skirt transparent, making her hair glow. My hands trembled and I gripped the Nikon hard trying to still them. I needed to be calm.

“Come on Dan.” Cherri turned and called back.

I ran and caught her up, ran past so I could be first to the barn. On my previous trips I’d managed to work the main door loose, making the way in easier. I stopped in the center of the big ground floor and took a quick light reading, turned back and ran off four quick shots as Cherri came in, outlined against the brightness outside, her legs showing through the filmy dress as though it hardly existed.

Cherri smiled and walked across to me, the hard packed dirt floor like concrete. As she came she moved through more sunlight arcing between gaps in the planks. She walked past me, reaching out and brushing my arm with her fingers as she went.

“I like your place, Dan.”

“Me too.”

“It’s got... something. Maybe because it’s a secret. Makes it kind of… sexy.” She stopped at the foot of the ladder and glanced back at me and I grew worried because she was so beautiful, no longer sure this was such a great notion. My feelings for Cherri starting to get out of hand.

Cherri put one foot on the first rung, sunlight behind and I knelt and took three shots.

“How d’you want to do this? I feel sorta awkward now. Do I just, like, take everything off or what?”

I laughed. “Don’t ask me, Cherri. I’ve never done this before either.”

“You must have.”

“Why would I be taking pictures of naked girls?”

Cherri smiled on one side. “I would.”

“Yeah, but you’re perverted.”

Cherri stroked a hand up her leg. “You make that sound like a bad thing.” Her fingers caught the hem of her skirt and lifted until I caught a glimpse of blue panties matching her bra and my camera captured the moment.

“I know it’s hard, but why don’t you try to forget I’m here and just… you know, just do what’s natural.”

“Easier said than done, babe. You know what I wanna do?”

“Tell me.” I continued taking pictures. Cherri moved, not posing for me, just Cherri being Cherri, too beautiful to be anything other than enchanting. “Though knowing you it’s probably something gross.”

“No, not gross. Not gross at all. I’ve heard you too when you think I’m asleep.”

“Oh… that.”

“Yeah. I wanna do that. And I’m kinda turned on at the idea of you watching me.” She laughed, bending forward as though the idea was the funniest thing in the world. “Shit, Dan, when I’m around you I guess I’m kinda fucked up.”

Cherri took another step up the ladder and I moved closer, the Nikon sounding as I captured her. I didn’t want to say anything, my entire being now focused through the 85mm lens. Cherri climbed slowly, reached the upper floor and turned to sit, spreading her knees. I stood at the foot of the ladder and Cherri knew damn well she presented a clear view all the way up her skirt but she didn’t care, presenting more of her tiny blue panties to the camera.

She touched herself, lightly through her panties, directly between her legs, then rolled backward and I caught the image, a blur of cotton, of skin and hair. When I climbed to join her Cherri stood at the open doors staring down into the water.

“Deep. You want to go swimming later?”

I said nothing, trying to make myself invisible, sticking to the shadows, the sound of the Nikon becoming the sound of the barn. Cherri glanced at me, a quizzical expression on her pretty face, a slight frown. I read her clearly as she made a decision. My heart beat faster when she touched her neck, moving slowly, posing for me, her hand working the top button of her blouse loose.

I wound on and discovered the film was finished, rewound fast and snapped the back off the camera and reloaded. Cherri waited for me, touching the hem of her skirt, raising and releasing it, showing the length of her slim thighs, teasing me with the view. When she heard the camera back close and me winding the next frame through she released another button... another. I moved around her, trying to remain silent, capturing the revealing of her chest and belly, her bra cupped snug around her breasts, nipples showing prominent through the pale blue lace.

“I’m getting kinda excited, Dan,” she said, touching a fingertip to the raised circle which peaked her bra. Another shot, a perfect shot, filled with both innocence and lust.

Cherri loosened the tie on her skirt, let it rest open on her hips, low down so an expanse of tanned belly showed between her blouse and the top of the skirt. Cherri touched herself, fingertips tracing random patterns, touching her navel, her hip, the under-curve of her breast.

Cherri pulled her skirt back and retied it and I frowned but instead of stopping she reached beneath and tugged at her panties, let them drape at her ankles before stepping from them with a grin.

“Better.”

She walked from the opening, passing close to me and I breathed in her scent, Cherri’s clean smell and something raw beneath, the smell of sex, hers and possibly mine. I grew aware of how sore my breasts felt inside my bra, sensitive and aroused, of how my pussy throbbed, wetting my panties.

Cherri climbed the piles of straw, kneeling and looking back at me, her blouse hanging loose, ass stuck in the air and I knelt and ran off a dozen shots as she slowly drew her skirt up to reveal her naked ass, perfectly formed, perfectly shaped, and nested at the base of those glorious cheeks a fuzz of reddish hair framing her sweet pink slit. I swallowed hard, told myself to be professional; but it was tough.

Cherri touched herself, once, lightly, hardly a touch at all but as her pupils bloomed I captured the moment. She loosened her skirt again, turned back and knelt on the straw, letting the skirt sag once more, shifting her hips so material caught, slid, caught again, each movement revealing a little more. This wasn’t undressing, this was sex, raw and primal, Cherri deliberately displaying herself piece by tiny piece for my lens.

Cherri reached behind and unclipped her bra, worked it loose under her blouse until her breasts came free. They didn’t sag at all, small and round with pink nipples pointing upward, half revealed beneath her blouse as she moved one way then the other. Her skirt continued to slip, revealing the flush of pubic hair and then the swell of her mons. I moved to the side, capturing the curve of her back swooping to her delicious ass. The skirt reached her thighs, revealing her sex completely but Cherri turned away as though shy and I almost groaned at the beauty of the sight she presented.

“I’m yours,” Cherri said, her voice a whisper, almost too quiet to hear. She lay back on the straw, opening her blouse to reveal the length of her body, lifted one knee to reveal her secret, sacred place, so beautiful I couldn’t look anywhere else, my camera stealing her soul.

I changed film again, slipped out of my fishing vest and hung it on a beam, loosened my shirt. It had gotten hot in the barn, a film of sweat glossing Cherri’s neck and chest.

“Take everything, Dan,” Cherri said, letting the blouse finally slip from her shoulders, laying back on the straw and touching her sex. I moved closer, focusing on that point but Cherri seemed to be in no hurry, enjoying the tension, wanting to stretch the moment as long as possible. She rolled off the bales and walked to the platform, exposed to the world if the world cared to look and I captured her backlit and glowing. She walked back, coming close to me, closer, until she reached out and touched my cheek with her fingers and I smelled the scent of sex on them and wanted to kiss her tainted fingertips, wanted to put them in my mouth and suck the taste of Cherri’s pussy from them. She brushed against me, her skin against the cotton of my shirt and pants, so close I could have enfolded her in my arms but didn’t. This thing we were doing was one thing, that other thing I wanted to do something else entirely. I trembled deep inside, noticed my hands remained still. Dad would’ve been proud of me... or maybe not...

Cherri passed by and I relaxed as she climbed back to the bales of straw, climbing high until she could touch the rafters, arching her body, displaying her perfection for my lens. She came back, resumed her position on the makeshift straw sofa and touched herself again.

“D’you need to change film, Dan?”

Her fingertips brushed through her bush, teasing her own thighs.

I glanced at the film counter. “Ten shots.”

“Reload now.”

I stared at her and nodded and she waited while I changed the spool, ready now for the transparency, wanting to capture her beauty in high definition color.

“Ready?” The first words I spoke in an age.

Cherri nodded. “Oh fuck yeah, am I ever ready.”

“Are you sure you want to-”

“Shut up and take the pictures.” Cherri pushed two fingers inside herself, withdrew them, glistening with her juices and my camera made love to her as she began to work her own body, touching and teasing, tweaking her nipples, stroking her belly and neck and thighs, all the while those two fingers making a steady, soft noise as they worked in and out. After a time her breathing joined the sound, grew in intensity, masking the sound her fingers made. Cherri lifted her hips, straining, taking her weight on her shoulders and heels, her ass coming off the straw, thighs trembling and I moved closer still, standing over her, capturing the expression on her face, moving to the side and she turned to stare at me, back ahead and she whimpered and shook harder, trying to stop her climax, obvious she couldn’t hold out long and as her eyelids fluttered shut I stepped close again, the raw smell of her surrounding me as she cried out and shook, plunging her hand between her legs, clasping her thighs tight and rolling onto her side as she jerked over and over again, curling into herself.

***

“You got too many clothes on, Dan,” Cherri said.

I’d expected to feel awkward in the minutes after Cherri climaxed, but she sighed deeply and rolled onto her back, lifting herself up to lean on the bales and grinning at me.

“Uh-huh–no way are you getting me naked.”

“Did you get all that?” she asked.

I nodded. Cherri–apart from wearing no clothes–seemed to have returned to her usual self. Made me wonder whether she did this kind of thing often. She’d appeared so comfortable with herself, with her sexuality, jilling herself in front of me hadn’t fazed her in the least. Hadn’t bothered her maybe, but doing all kinds of wild and weird things to my head.

Cherri laughed, as though she could read my mind. “Lighten up, Dan, it’s only fuckin’ sex.” She stretched like a cat, her body as soft as a cat’s, lacking bone, lissome and loose. “I’ve been thinking of doing that all the way here.” She gave me a Cherri look. “What about you, Dan?”

I shook my head. “Not that.”

“Thinking about me, dork,” she said, grinning. “I bet you have.”

She could read my mind. I straightened up. “I was being a professional.”

Cherri broke up, laughing so hard she almost fell off the bale.

We ate the lunch we’d packed that way, Cherri comfortably naked and me with tension in my shoulders that only slowly eased. Afterward we lay in the sun that fell through onto the platform, Cherri tanning and me, eventually, taking off my shirt to lie in my bra. Cherri went to sleep and I took the opportunity to watch her lying on her front beside me, her slim body open to the sun, hair lifting and drifting in the breeze and tried to persuade myself I wasn’t falling in love. Trying to persuade myself I didn’t like Cherri that way, wondering if I let Jack do what he wanted would I be able to stop thinking about this girl. Eventually the heat and lull of insects flying in and out the barn got to me and I drifted into a doze. When I woke it was because a shadow fell across my eyes; Cherri, dressed again, standing over me.

“Time to go, Dan.”

I nodded, dry washing hands over my face. I’d been a long way under, the late afternoon unreal for a moment. I pulled my shirt back on.

Cherri watched me openly. She smiled sweetly, not her usual manic grin. “You got such nice boobs, Dan. I wish I had tits like yours.

“You’re perfect,” I said, a bit too fast because Cherri’s smile lifted at one corner.

“They’re not bad, sure, but yours are…” She shook her head. “Yeah, yours are something else.”

“They’re too big.”

“Uh-huh, baby, no way.”

I buttoned my shirt, hiding the evidence from Cherri’s open gaze. “But remember, when I’m forty they’ll be hanging round my ankles. And when you’re forty yours’ll still be perfect.”

Cherri laughed. “That would be a hell of a sight, Dan, that surely would. I’ll have to come see that, when you’re forty.”

I laughed back. “No way!”

“Way!” she crowed. “Way way way! I’ll ring you up on your fortieth birthday–when is your birthday anyway? No, never mind, tell me when we get back, I’ll never remember–I’ll call you up and come round your house and you’ve got to show me your boobies so I can tell if they’ve dropped at all.”

“Of yeah, sure. I’m gonna do that.”

“Yeah? That’s okay then.” Cherri ignored my sarcasm and slipped her arm through mine as we walked along the track from the barn.

Chapter 16

I followed Cherri down the trail through the woods, the way back from the barn familiar now. Cherri led us along a higher path but I barely noticed, trying not to think too hard about the wild emotions churning inside me.

When I finally became aware of where we were I called to Cherri, “We need to be lower down.”

“This is the right way. You up for seeing something gross, Dan?” The sun had been setting as we left the barn, but light remained in the sky to the west, the moon riding above the far ridge and Cherri’s hair glowed in its light.

“What kind of gross?” I followed a few paces behind, concentrating on keeping my footing on the unfamiliar path.

“I found a place we can spy on Jeff and Chrissy from.”

“What d’you mean, spy?”

“Spy,” Cherri said. “As in spy. There’s this spot where you can see straight into their bedroom. I’ve been a couple’a times already and seen Chrissy in her undies and Jeff naked. Nice bod by the way. Maybe tonight we’ll get lucky and catch ‘em doing the dirty thing.”

“I dunno.” Uneasy at the thought of spying on someone. At the same time I felt unbelievably horny after our photography session and my critical faculties had lodged somewhere south of my navel. “Is it safe?”

“I don’t think anyone else knows about this place. And I’m damn sure they don’t or they’d put blinds on the windows.”

“You can see right in?”

“Kind of.” Cherri glanced back and grinned. She pointed to her left and stepped off the trail, pushing through brush. I hesitated, thinking of snakes, eventually followed. “What d’you mean, kind of?” I wanted more now, hormones guiding me, my mind turned off.

“They’ve got these like roof windows. They’re not so huge, but you can see right into their bedroom and into some of the hallway beside their bedroom. You can see the foot of their bed and a bit of floor beyond the bed, and through the other window the hallway and a door into a bathroom.”

“So what were you doing out here, Cherri?” The going had gotten hard over the broken ground and we both moved slowly, picking our way in the dark.

“Some fuckin’ kid snoring and I couldn’t sleep so I came out for a walk. I like walking in the woods at night.”

“Uh-huh.” Disappointed Cherri hadn’t included me in her little nighttime exploration.

I’m not sure if Cherri heard anything in my voice or just chose to ignore me. “Here,” she said, coming to a halt at the foot of an old oak. Another tree had come down against the trunk, pitching the oak forward so most of the branches on one side had been stripped away. One thick branch stuck out over the hillside, twenty feet above the soil at the trunk, sixty feet up by the time it petered out. The oak had half grown around one of the big shattered rocks that littered the hillside, and I recalled a nerdy kid telling me they’d been left by glacial deposition after the last ice age. I hadn’t been interested at the time, surprised I even remembered the fact.

“How the hell are we gonna get up there?” The tree branch towered over us.

“Like this… simple.” Cherri pointed, her figure merging into the darkness. She reached up and started climbing the side of the rock and after a moment I made out a shallow dip along its side, Cherri almost walking up on hands and knees. I watched her go, almost more excited at the flashed glimpses she offered of her panties than seeing her nak-ed earlier. She reached the top and peered down at me. “You coming?”

I found a hand hold and pulled myself up. The climb turned out to be a whole lot easier than I feared and in no time I stood on the narrow top of the rock. Cherri pulled up her skirt and straddled the oak branch.

“Come in front of me,” she said, patting the bark.

“I’ll fall off.”

“No you won’t. Think about riding a horse. Hold tight with your knees.”

“I hate horses.”

Cherri stared at me. “You do?”

“I live in LA,” I said, “not fucking Wyoming.”

“But this is America, Dan. It’s your God given right to shoot things and ride a horse. I think it’s in the constitution or something.”

“I’m sure the bit about shooting things is, but I don’t recall anything about horses.”

“Must be. Here, come sit in front of me. I’ll hang onto you if you look like falling.”

I lifted my leg over the branch, hanging tight to anything I could reach, including Cherri, until I settled. She was right. My legs gripped the rough bark and I felt totally secure. I gave a little shimmy to make sure, and Cherri put her hands on my waist.

“Careful.”

“I’m… thanks, Cherri.” Her touch much too good to admit I didn’t need the help.

Below us we had a view down onto the roof at the back of the Simmons’ cabin. The tiles were only twenty feet away. Beyond the end of our branch they had cleared the ground behind the house. Stacks of logs were piled up against the back wall for winter and I realized for the first time they must live here all year round, and I wondered what the place would be like under two feet of snow.

Three windows were set into the pitched roof but all were dark. At ground level light spilled from a window at the back of the house. Now and again the light changed as movement cast shadows through the glass.

“What’s the time?” Cherri whispered.

I angled my watch to catch the moonlight. “Eight-fifteen.”

“They come upstairs real early, around half past usually, nine at the latest. Then Jeff usually gets dressed and goes out again to check the cabins around eleven.”

“Usually? How often have you done this?”

I sensed Cherri shrug. “A couple.”

“A couple, or more than a couple?”

I twisted round so I could see Cherri. Her slim body pressed against my back and I couldn’t quite remember when she’d moved so close, or if I had without noticing.

“Define couple, Dan,” she said.

I laughed. “You been out here plenty, I think. So what have you seen?” Now I’d gotten acclimatized the idea grew more and more exciting.

“I told you, I seen them in their skinnies, and Jeff once with nothing on. But a girl lives in hope of more. I think they come up early and shower. I’m hoping they might mess around a bit before Jeff goes back out. Don’t you think Jeff’s pretty hot? For an old man, I mean.”

“He’s okay, I guess.”

“And Chrissy too, yeah? She’s got a real nice body.”

“You spying on women too?” I tried to keep my voice casual.

“Of course. Why restrict yourself to just one sex? If someone’s hot, look, that’s my motto.”

“Uh-huh.”

Cherri laughed quietly. “Come on, Dan, you already knew that didn’t you? I like looking at you in the shower. You got a hot body too. I told you, you need to show yourself off more instead of covering up in all this Ranger gear.”

I was aware Cherri looked at me, but this the first time I heard her admit to it.

She nudged me in my ribs as the downstairs light went out. “They’re coming up. Here goes.” She giggled and despite my earlier reservations I leaned forward on my elbows, almost forgetting I sat twenty-five feet above a steeply sloping mountainside.

Diffused light showed in the hallway window and then grew brighter as an upstairs lamp came on. Jeff Simmons walked past in the hall and the bedroom light splashed out, illuminating the rock and the two of us astride the branch.

“They’re gonna catch us,” I hissed.

“They won’t look. They don’t expect anyone to be here, do they? Besides, even if they do it’s a whole lot darker out here.”

I wasn’t so sure, but too intrigued to stop. Chrissy Simmons joined her husband and they moved around the bedroom. Most of the time they were disjointed shapes and shadow, but now and again one or other would cross along the foot of the bed and for a moment come into clear view. In this way Cherri and I were treated to a slow and stuttering striptease.

Jeff Simmons was first, maybe men taking less time to disrobe. He returned to our view with pants off but shirt covering his lower region as he passed the window. Chrissy traversed our view with her shirt off, showing a white sports bra enclosing small breasts. Jeff came back pulling his shirt over his shoulders. Broad shoulders, wide back. A tangle of dark hair covered his chest, ran down in a line along a stomach ridged with muscle.

“Fucking hot or what?” Cherri whispered.

“I guess.” I tried to persuade myself my growing arousal was because of staring at Jeff in a pair of skimpy briefs, but I was kidding myself because when his wife next appeared she’d stripped to bra and panties and my stomach turned over. For a woman who had to be in her late thirties she was stunning. Hell, for whatever age she might be she was stunning. I’d only ever seen girls my own age before. Chrissy had something else they lacked, an air of confidence that only came with experience. My heart started hammering when she stopped at the foot of the bed, reached behind and pulled her bra over her shoulders, one of those stretch ones without a clasp and she pulled her arms free then worked it over her head. As she did she lifted her arms, three quarters turned toward us, her small breasts lifting, pale nipples spotlighted by the bedroom light almost as if posing.

“Fuckin’ A,” Cherri whispered. “Take a picture, Dan.”

“No!”

“Aw, go on. No-one’s gonna see. Take a picture and I’ll love ya forever.”

“Doesn’t seem right,” I said.

Cherri nudged against my back and I felt her breasts, her sharp little nipples. “Pretty please?”

“I don’t know.” I was weakening, and luckily Chrissy moved away, walking loose and lithe from our vision. “Too late now anyway,” I said, not sure whether to be relieved or not.

“She might come back. Get your camera ready.”

I didn’t mean to, didn’t intend to invade their privacy, but I pulled the Nikon round and removed the lens cap. The expensive transpar-ency I had used at the end for Cherri was still loaded so I rewound and pushed a roll of fast black and white in. I glanced around. I’d need a wide aperture and slow shutter speed. Even then if I took any pictures they’d need a lot of work in the darkroom.

“I don’t think if I take a shot it’ll be any good.”

“In that case what’s to lose?”

I set the camera up and wound a new frame in just as Jeff Simmons came into view, tugging his briefs down. He stopped half bent over, kicked them free and straightened up and before I was aware what I was doing the camera shutter sounded.

“Yeah, go Dan.”

I gulped. I now had a single shot of him. Full frontal.

“I want a copy of that one, sweetheart. He’s got a nice cock, don’t you think?”

“I guess.”

Cherri laughed. “Yeah, keep pretending you weren’t looking.”

“I thought you said you hadn’t seen them naked.”

“Only once, and only Jeff. This is the first time I’ve seen Chrissy. You think they’re gonna do the thing, Dan?”

Shadows flung themselves against the walls, then Chrissy returned and she’d removed her panties. She moved from our sight, came back as she pulled the bed covers down, leaning over so we both had a clear view of her ass, her small breasts dipping away from her body. I took another shot.

Jeff appeared behind her and I thought he was going to help with the covers but instead he pressed himself against her back, sliding his hands around to cup her breasts. I caught a grin on Chrissy’s face as she wriggled against him.

“Oh fuck,” Cherri whispered. “I think they are gonna do it.”

“Uh-huh.” I couldn’t stop now. As Chrissy turned inside her husband’s arms I took another shot. They kissed, and her hand slid down and burrowed between them going for his cock. I waited. Their kiss lasted a long time, Jeff so much taller than his wife, solid and muscular against her shorter, lighter frame. They pulled apart and Chrissy pushed his chest, guiding him back onto the bed and I thought we were going to lose them, but Jeff slumped across the bottom of the bed. His cock had grown hard during the kiss and jutted stiff against his belly, the purple head projecting above his navel.

“Of shit, that’s some cock.” Cherri almost groaned.

As Chrissy Simmons knelt at the end of the bed and took her husband’s cock into her mouth I took two more shots. I shifted on the branch, not because I was uncomfortable but because I needed to ease the pressure on my nipples which were rigid inside my bra.

Chrissy worked her husband steadily and he crossed his arms above his head and pulsed slowly between her lips. Cherri and I watched. A minute passed. Two.

“He hasn’t come yet,” Cherri said. “All the boys I know would’ve come, like, ten seconds after having that done to them.”

“Have you-” I stopped.

“Have I what?” I heard the grin in Cherri’s voice.

“Have you ever done that to a boy, duh?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know. He’s good enough to eat, ain’t he?”

“Mm,” I said, noncommittal.

“You ever sucked cock, Dan?”

“No.”

The way I replied, all abrupt, made Cherri laugh. “No, I guessed not.”

Three minutes later Jeff’s cock was slick with his wife’s saliva when he sat up and pushed her away. She seemed to protest and he laughed, grabbed her and lifted her up like she weighed nothing and dropped her onto the bed. They obviously had no idea someone might be overlooking their bedroom or they wouldn’t have done what they did next right at the foot of the bed.

Jeff spread his wife’s thighs and kissed inside them. One hand reached up and touched her pussy, opened, displaying clearly the pink inner folds. Chrissy’s pubic hair was dark brown, matching her head, neatly trimmed and fine. Jeff reached her with his mouth and hid her pussy from view. Chrissy arched her back as his tongue lapped at her and she twisted a hand through his hair. His broad back, narrow waist and tight ass were displayed directly in front of us and I took another shot as his other hand caressed his wife’s breast. It was her turn now to be worked on. She tried to pull him aside. Jeff resisted and suddenly Chrissy’s efforts stopped and she opened her eyes wide and seemed to be saying something. She seemed to be staring directly into the camera as I took another shot.

“I can’t stand this,” Cherri said.

“What?”

She moved behind me.

“I can’t just sit here like this. This is so fuckin’ hot, Dan. I’m gonna have to do myself again, right now, or I think I’ll explode.”

“Ugh…”

She giggled. “Come on, you do yourself too” Cherri twisted, pulling at her panties and they flashed tiny and pale blue in her hand. She sat back on the branch, pushing a hand down beneath herself, the back of her wrist pressing against my ass. After a moment her body seemed to relax. “Oh yeah, that’s better.”

Through the bedroom window Jeff Simmons lifted away from his wife and grabbed her still quivering body and rolled her over, tugging her down until she knelt at the foot of the bed. He laid himself over her and gripped his cock, guiding himself. I shot another frame as he entered her, the angle perfect to catch the moment his bulbous head opened her pussy.

Behind me Cherri made noises as her hand continued to work on herself, and my own pussy flamed.

I put the camera down and tried to loosen my pants, movement awkward.

“Need a hand?” Cherri’s voice spoke against my ear, her breath running through my hair.

“What?”

“Here. Sit back and I’ll unzip you.”

“Cherri!” I tried to sound appalled, but when her hands came round I offered no resistance as she unclipped the button at my waist, and as she drew my zip down I even lifted up to make access easier for her.

“Yeah, that’s better, isn’t it?”

I nodded, leaning back against her.

“More? I love sitting naked on this tree, makes me real wet.”

“Uh-huh.”

I lifted again, letting Cherri tug my pants down and before I could make any protest she pulled at my panties and lowered those too. Sitting across the branch they stuck high on my thighs. I sat back down, rough bark against the cheeks of my ass, sat harder and a ridge of bark pressed against my pussy. Oh sweet Jesus,

“You ought to get down and take ‘em off properly,” Cherri said.

“This is okay.”

“You sure?”

I nodded.

Cherri’s hand went back between her legs, but she left one on my waist, fingers wrapping over to my belly. My pussy ached and the cool night air almost made me climax immediately. I lowered my hand and touched myself, not quite believing the wetness flowing out to welcome my fingers.

“Oh yeah, do it baby,” Cherri whispered, her lips touching my ear.

I plunged two fingers inside myself and arched up against them.

“I’m gonna watch ‘em,” she grunted and pulled closer, half rising so she could see over my shoulder, the movement bringing her wrist against the hollow of my back. She raised her other hand to my shoulder, brushing against my breast on the way; an accident, had to be, but I barely prevented myself reaching behind and pushing her hand aside to allow mine to touch her down where the sound her fingers made filled my ears.

Below us Jeff Simmons worked himself hard into his wife from behind. Her hands clutched the bed cover and she thrust back against him. Chrissy’s neck and shoulders were flushed pink and she shook as she came a second time. Almost immediately Jeff jerked and pulled himself free. He gripped his cock in his hand and ejaculated copiously onto the round parted cheeks of his wife’s ass.

“Ah!” Behind me Cherri cried out, trying to muffle the sound by pressing her mouth against my shoulder, her teeth biting into my skin.

So close, wanting to come at the same time as Cherri, aroused all evening, aroused so much it was taking nothing to bring me to a peak. Cherri grunted and jerked behind me and I let myself go, let the pent up tide loose inside, let it pinpoint and spread. I started to climax just as Cherri reached round and cupped her hand around my left breast. Even through my shirt and bra her touch was fire and I cried out. I collapsed on my front, frantically rubbing myself, humping against the rough branch. I sensed Cherri coming closer, leaning over, pressing against me, her pussy damp against the cheek of my ass and she rocked against me.

“Yeah baby, come for me Dan…”

She kissed me on my shoulder and I came again. I half turned and Cherri kissed the side of my mouth. She shivered, still humping my ass cheek and I was sure she came again too.

The cold eventually brought us round. Cherri moved back. The damp stain she’d left on my right cheek cooled in the air. I wriggled and pulled my panties and pants up. Cherri swung off the branch and searched for hers where she’d tossed them on the rock. So far neither of us had said a word about what we had just done.

I climbed off the branch and stood beside Cherri on the narrow rock top.

The light in the Simmons’ bedroom went out.

Cherri’s side touched me each time she breathed, or each time I breathed, I wasn’t sure. Then her hand came scrabbling and found mine.

“That was fun.”

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

“I didn’t freak you did I?”

“Freak me?”

“I couldn’t help myself. I had to kiss you. Sorry if I went too far, babe.”

I waited, trying to work out my response. I could feel Cherri beside me, fingers still curled in mine, sensed an expectation from her.

“It’s okay,” I said. Not enough. She waited. “I liked it.” Still waiting. “Honest–I liked it. You can kiss me any time you want.” Fuck! Did I really say that?

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Sure. We’re best friends, aren’t we?”

She laughed and moved closer. Her hand released mine and came up to my face, cupped my chin and angled my face toward hers.

“In that case I’m gonna kiss you now.”

But she waited, lips close to mine. I smelled peppermint on her breath.

“Okay.”

She closed the gap and our lips met. This time even better because the kiss wasn’t snatched or hurried. I let her kiss me, and then I kissed her back.

When we pulled apart she said, “You kiss girls much, Dan?”

I laughed, nervous. “First time.”

“Really?”

“Of course. You think I make a habit of kissing girls?”

“I’d never have guessed. You kiss real good.”

“Thanks. So what about you? I bet you’ve kissed a bunch of girls.”

“Not all the time. I like to ring the changes.”

I laughed, but only because she expected me to.

“Really?”

She shook her head. “No. First time for me too.”

I stared at her, the night cloaking us, wanting to tear her clothes off, finally starting to admit to myself how much I really wanted this girl. The kiss lingered against my lips the whole time we walked to the cabin.

***

In the morning nothing might have ever happened, except after we’d showered and dressed and herded the kids out for breakfast Cherri came up behind me, close behind me while I finished making my bed and said, “Are you gonna do what you do with that film later?”

“Tonight,” I said, looking down at the bed. “Later tonight.”

“I want to come with you when you do.”

“I guessed you might.”

Cherri took a step closer, placing her hands on my hips. “You’re not regretting anything are you, Dan?”

I shook my head. “No, nothing.” Afraid and excited, sure my relationship with Cherri had changed, not sure exactly how far.

“Good. ‘Cause I want to do more of that.”

I nodded, finally turning round, wondering if she meant the photographs or the kissing, knowing which I wanted, but the pictures were exciting too.

Cherri’s hands stayed on my hips, sliding over them as I turned and we stood face to face, or rather Cherri’s face to my boobs because she was so much shorter. Warring emotions tugged at me. One side saying this was wrong, thinking of what my Dad would say if he discovered I’d wasted my talent on dirty pictures. Another part wanted this so bad, wanted to watch Cherri undress and pose for me. Wanted more. Lots more. And a tiny part of me justified my need by saying the world needed someone with skill to take nude shots, erotic pictures, because skill could make them so much more than smut. An attempt at justification, nothing more, helping to ease my conscience.

Cherri stared into my face, for once her own expression serious.

“I don’t want you to do anything you’re not one hundred percent sure about, Dan.”

“I guess.”

“Hungry?” She did that all the time. Serious one second, off at a complete tangent the next. Cherri made me mad sometimes, this flitting about also one of the things I loved about her, the speed her mind worked, moving at strange angles to other people’s.

“Starving.”

“Come on then.” But still she didn’t move. An electricity sparked between us, my nipples once more growing visibly pointed. Cherri’s hands burned where they rested against my hips. She gazed at me and I wanted to kiss her, but that would really screw everything. Last night had been different. In the cold light of morning we’d returned to our senses. I stepped away, my skin bereft of her touch as Cherri’s hands pulled loose. I didn’t glance back as I left the cabin, walked fast down to the dining hall, hoping she was following.

Cherri caught me up and fell into step.

“You heard the rumors about us, babe?”

“Rumors? No. What rumors?”

Kids and counselors moved around us, everyone going down to eat, but no-one close enough to overhear our conversation.

“Mandy told me. Said someone asked her about us. About me and you.”

“Us?”

Cherri nodded, amusement on her face. “Wondering how often we did it.”

“Did what?” My stomach sank.

“The thing. The wicked girl thing. Word is me and you are even worse than Tonya and Holly.” Cherri laughed.

“Not funny, Cherri!”

“It’s hilarious.”

“What about Jack and Brian? Everyone knows we’re going out with them.”

“Cover,” Cherri said. “Apparently Jack and Brian are fucking each other too, and we’re only with them so we can pretend we’re all hetero.”

I slowed and stopped, looking around. No-one paid us any special attention. “Who’s saying this? Everyone?”

“Nah. Don’t think everyone.”

“We’ve got to-”

“Chill out,” Cherri said. “If we make a fuss people’ll only say we’ve got something to hide. It’s probably that dork Greg and his evil girlfriend. Ignore them, Dan. Laugh it off.”

“Huh.” I started down the path again.

“Only one problem.”

I slowed once more, glanced at Cherri. “What’s that?”

“I’m gonna have to avoid kissing you in public, I guess.”

“Kissing me in… you’ve never kissed me in public.” I remembered last night’s kiss, the way Cherri tasted and the memory made my breath catch in my throat.

Cherri laughed at the tone in my voice. “Damn. And I was just getting used to the idea.”

She strode on, leaving me standing with my mouth open.

Chapter 17

Two in the morning and Cherri slept across from me, a soft sweet not-quite-snore escaping her as I slipped from bed and crept out of the cabin. I made my way to the darkroom, three rolls of film clutched in my hand. I’d lain awake, listening to the sound of the cabin, of Cherri drifting to sleep, of girls in the bunkhouse talking before finally falling silent, and all I thought of was the pictures I might have captured. Cherri made no further mention of them since that morning, and I was glad, not sure if I could develop them with her sitting on my shoulder.

I locked the door behind me, leaving the key in the lock in case someone decided to wander into the night, but I didn’t expect to be disturbed. Jeff and Chrissy would be sound asleep, hopefully everyone else too. I had the shots of them on the last roll, guilty excitement running through me at the thought of how those might come out.

I mixed chemicals and loaded three developing tanks, set them on different benches so I wouldn’t get confused. The fluids went in. I rocked, tapped and rocked each tank again.

When the timers pinged I emptied the developer from each tank in turn, methodical, organized, flushing each with water three times, added fixer. More tapping, more rocking. I leaned against the bench, waiting, the ticking of the timers loud in the quiet darkroom. The best pictures were still in my room on the roll of transparency, but I didn’t have the chemicals at camp to develop that. I would have to wait until I returned home. I’d need to be careful. These weren’t the kind of photographs I wanted my Dad finding.

The timer dinged and I pulled the first strip of film free of the plastic spool and held it wet up to a lamp. I’d learned to judge the tiny reverse images over the years, envision how they would appear as full size prints. The first frames showed Cherri fully clothed, then in growing stages of undress, finally naked. I checked the second film, scanned through to find the images of Jeff and Chrissy pretty dark. I might be able to do something with them, but I had a strong sense of guilt about the illicit photographs and considered destroying them immediately. I hung them all up to dry and stood close to study the tiny images of Cherri. A shiver coursed through me. Many of the reverse images showed her naked, posing, some sweet, some coarse, some explicit, all exciting. I sat on a stool and waited, these not strips I wanted to leave and deal with in the morning.

Time passed and I felt myself nodding off, laid my head on my arms on the bench and closed my eyes for a moment.

I was woken from a dream of an argument, someone shouting and throwing pans and when I opened my eyes the shouting turned into a real voice and the pans became the sound of knocking on the door.

“Hey, Dan, open up.” Jack called through the door, trying to keep his voice quiet enough not to carry but loud enough for me to hear.

I jerked upright in panic, full daylight outside. I got up and started for the door, stopped and spun back. The three rolls of film hung on clips, dry now. I ran back, rolled them up, stuffed them into a spare pocket before returning and unlocking the door.

Jack came in, frowning. “Early start, Dan? And why’s the door locked?”

“I just…” I shrugged, unable to come up with an excuse in my befuddled state. “What’s the time?”

“Seven-thirty. I wanted to come across early and… well, you know what I wanted to do. I think it’s time I destroyed those prints. What were you doing?”

“Tidying up,” I said, the best I managed to come up with. “I must’ve been bushed and dropped off. God, I feel awful. I’m going to grab a shower and some breakfast. I’ll see you back here at nine.”

“Okay.”

I stopped in the door. “And Jack?”

He looked at me.

“Be careful.”

He grinned. “You know I’m always careful, Dan.” He gave me a hug and quick kiss and it seemed odd after yesterday he still wanted to kiss me, but of course he’d no idea what had gone on.

Cherri’s bed lay empty and unmade when I returned to Eagle. I took the rolls of negatives, wound them up and slipped them into an aluminum canister which I buried deep inside the bottom of my rucksack. Only when they were safe did I go to the shower room and wash the nervous sweat off my body. I showered fast, not wanting anyone to come in and disturb me. I had been self-conscious when I first came to camp having to shower in front of others. Now I’d grown used to the idea but still preferred to shower alone. So far most of the time I’d managed to avoid Cherri coming in and finding me, not sure why the idea disturbed me so much. Particularly after what I’d seen of her.

Chapter 18

The following Saturday was the first time Cherri and I took the guys to the barn. We both thought of the barn as ours, but of course someone else owned it, probably the Simmons, although camp sat a distance away. The barn had obviously been unused for many years, unknown to anyone at camp, and when Cherri suggested we might take the guys instead of driving into town I’d tried to suppress an initial reluctance. But the idea excited Cherri, and an excited Cherri’s a force of nature impossible to resist.

As we walked together through the woods I wondered what the day would bring, because something about the barn changed me, made me lose my inhibitions, scary and liberating at the same time. I’d always been uptight about my body, about sex. This summer had changed me.

The barn didn’t seem to impress Jack or Brian until they climbed the ladder and walked to the open loading bay to peer over. The upper floor built out over the water fascinated them and they stared down into ten feet of crystal clear lake. Big trout and bass stroked lazily through the depths, and we sat with our legs dangling while the sun fell hot on us. Distant figures of kids in kayaks and dinghies showed at the edge of the bay, and every now and then faint voices came to us.

Brian walked around the creaking wooden floor examining inside the barn, picked up a handful of hay and rubbed it between his palms, lifted them to his face and sniffed.

“Good hay,” he said. “You could still feed stock on this.”

I liked the way Brian knew all about cattle and horses and farming. I’d never known anyone who talked about anything other than what went on in cities.

We’d brought bread and cheese and fruit and after a while we ate and joked around. The afternoon sun came directly in through the upper opening, making the bales of hay warm to sit on and we lay around necking and making out in a lazy way. I’d given up on trying to stop Jack touching my boobs. In fact starting to enjoy the attention he gave them, considering the idea I’d let him go further. Hell, the kind of constant arousal I experienced around Cherri I was thinking of letting him go as far as he liked so I too might achieve some kind of satisfaction. Feeling the way I did about Cherri didn’t stop me liking Jack. Cherri was a fantasy, I acknowledged, Jack reality, a dose of reality I needed real bad to take my mind of that damn girl.

Brian had lifted Cherri’s t-shirt, kissing her breasts, Cherri trying to stop him but only in a half-hearted way that made the whole thing even sexier. I knew they had sex, hell I’d watched them have sex in Brian’s car, they had sex at least twice a week, expected they’d have sex again today, the idea they might do it here in the barn part of the reason I was thinking of letting Jack follow Brian’s example and fuck me too. Wouldn’t be my first time if he did, but the first time I was a willing participant. I pushed that thought aside, back into the dark place it belonged. I didn’t want to think about Greg and what he’d done to me two years before.

Cherri giggled and slapped Brian, drawing me back from my memories, and he rolled away as though upset. “Well if you’re gonna be a tight ass I’m going for a swim.”

He slid off the hay bale and dropped to the floor. They were higher than Jack and I, almost at the point where the bales met the sloping roof. Brian pulled his t-shirt over his head, then unbuckled his belt, undid the brass buttons on his levi’s and stepped out of them. He walked to the edge of the barn in just his boxers and I found myself admiring his tight butt and narrow waist. His muscles were heavier than Jack’s, the ridged lines in his belly evidence of all the sports he played. He half turned, showing us evidence of his arousal. “Anyone else coming?”

Jack took his hand off my right boob and replied, “Yeah, I’m up for a swim.” He went across and joined Brian but remained clothed. They both stared down into the water.

“Deep enough?” Brian asked.

“I guess.”

“Together?”

“Might kill us both.”

“That’s what I figured.”

“Don’t be stupid,” I said.

Cherri laughed as Jack began to strip out of his clothes. “No, go ahead guys. Been a while since I’ve seen decent ass.”

Brian wiggled his butt at us and Cherri broke up. I smiled, trying not to laugh. Jack looked good enough to eat as he got down to his shorts, briefer than Brian’s, Jack excited too, a heavy ridge filling the front. A narrow line of dark hair ran down his stomach, widening just before disappearing into his shorts.

Jack glanced at Brian. Brian glanced back and a nod came from both. They stepped back three paces then ran together and leapt out into the air, a huge yell coming from each. They lifted their knees and bombed into the water, sinking into the depths. Cherri slid along the hay and went to the doorway. I jumped down and stood next to her. The boys were hugging the lakebed, swimming out strongly. When they surfaced they splashed water back toward us but it came nowhere near. Jack floated on his back, his white briefs almost transparent, the dark stain of his pubic hair, the shape of his thick cock, clearly visible.

“Come on in,” Jack shouted. “The water’s great.”

The gooseflesh along his arms told a different story, but Cherri said, “Come on, Dan, let’s do it.”

“I haven’t got a swimsuit.”

Cherri laughed like I’d told the funniest joke of the year. “Neither have they. Neither have I.” She stripped her t-shirt off before slipping from her skirt and kicking out of her sandals. She balanced on the edge of the platform.

The boys started clapping, both of them eating up the sight of Cherri, her slim figure almost fully revealed.

She glanced back at me. “You coming, Dan, or am I gonna have to do this on my own?”

I stared at her, the valley of her back, the nip of her waist, the flare of her hips, and nodded. “I’m coming.” What the hell, I thought, stripping down to my underwear. Cherri watched me openly, but I stood back out of sight from Jack and Brian. Cherri made no pretense of not looking, and as I walked toward her she nodded and grinned.

“I made a mistake, Dan. I should’ve told you to keep your clothes on. They’re not gonna look at me now.”

I grinned back. “I bet.”

Cherri grabbed my hand when I reached her and as I came into view both guys gave loud wolf-whistles and yips.

“Move back.” Cherri called down and they paddled out from shore. “Ready?” she asked me.

I nodded. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” My nipples stiffened, telling myself it was the cool air and nothing to do with Cherri’s warm hand in mine.

We ran out into space. Cherri loosed my hand and I pointed my toes, hit the water hard, surprised how far the drop was, water instantly closing over me, so cold I had to force myself not to release the air in my lungs. Momentum carried me down until my feet touched the gravel bottom. Cherri’s silhouette flowed above me. She’d bombed and not sunk as deep. She kicked her legs, panties transparently revealing her plump sex. I pushed myself off the lakebed and kicked for the surface.

Cherri was laughing when I broke through.

“You’re a dead man, O’Neal,” she said to Brian. “This water is fucking glacial.”

“Wimp.” Brian swam toward Cherri and slipped his arms around her waist. “Want me to warm you up, baby?”

Cherri put her arms around him and kissed his mouth. “I want to swim.” She pushed him away and stroked off. Jack trod water near me, looking unsure whether to approach or not. Something had shifted inside me. I’d always been uptight, controlled and controlling. This afternoon something had worked loose inside and my limbs became loose and relaxed, my head spinning with thoughts. I paddled toward Jack, deliberately pressing against his front, letting the bulge of his cock rest along my thigh. I kissed him on the chin and said, “You wanna swim too?”

He swallowed and nodded and I kissed him again, on his full mouth this time, and slipped my hand down inside his wet shorts and squeezed his butt before flipping away. I let my tits break surface, knowing my bra would be transparent, knowing my nipples would show dark. Cherri’s hardly showed, almost the same shade as her milky pink skin. Mine were almost black, with large aureolae surrounding them. I decided I could do blatant too.

I swam out hard, enjoying the sensation of cold water sliding past, water cooling beneath me as the lakebed dropped away. Off to the west sailing dinghies tipped and cut wakes trailing white behind. As I swam further out the camp came into view, made small, neat and homely with distance, adding to my strange mood, as though I was apart from everything. My thoughts branched off in all kinds of directions, thinking things I’d never considered before, like how it might be to kiss Jack’s balls, what his cock would taste like, whether he might go down on me and how that would be. For a long time I’d believed Greg’s assault on me two years before had put me off men forever. Back home Pete had been patient, but he wanted to do things I hadn’t been ready for. I wanted more, not knowing what, only recognizing a possible answer when I met Cherri and started to wonder whether girls turned me on rather than boys. Or only Cherri. Jack was different to Pete, different to Greg. He made me feel safe. Made me believe I lay at the center of his world and he’d never do anything to harm me or cause me harm.

I stopped swimming and trod water, waiting as the others caught up. Jack came first and hovered beside me and I smiled at him to show everything was okay. Cherri swam slowly, Brian holding back to swim beside her and they stopped forty yards from us.

“I’m not coming any further,” Cherri yelled. “I think my ass just froze up.”

Brian nuzzled against her and whispered something and she pushed him away, laughing.

“We’re going back,” Brian called. They turned and began to swim for shore.

“You want to go in, Dan?”

“I want to swim some more,” I said, not yet ready to make the decision sitting there in plain view between us.

“Okay.”

Jack was wonderful, always considering me, but perhaps too much? I wasn’t sure. I could tell how he felt about me, how he’d do anything I asked, not do anything if I asked. I liked him. Liked him a lot. I could do a lot worse than Jack, and my thoughts surprised me, roaming ahead to me and Jack, years from now, together, married, kids and a house and all the other baggage married couples carry around without noticing. Not an unpleasant idea. Didn’t fill me with longing or joy, but did bring a sense of contentment. Was that enough? If what I really wanted was unobtainable would Jack be substitute enough?

“Only for a while,” I said, and brushed his cold chest with my fingers. “Then we’ll go in too.”

“Uh-huh.” Jack hung in the water. He’d never move away from me unless I made the move first. A wave of affection filled me and I kicked across and kissed him hard, pressing my body against his, Jack instantly hard against my thigh, my own body responding savagely.

“Changed my mind,” I said against his mouth. “Let’s go in now.”

Jack nodded.

“Race you,” I said.

He laughed.

“I mean it. Don’t hold back, because I swim real well.” I kicked away, turning into a fast crawl. I sensed Jack come alongside me, rolling his head, breathing on one side then the other. I put my face into the water and dug deep, a good ache in my shoulders as I pulled away from him, convinced I was the better swimmer, knowing I was good, never beaten in any of the school galas. Forty yards from shore Jack was still with me. Twenty yards out he pulled ahead.

I let him take my hand and help me from the water, breathing hard, knowing my breasts would be trembling as my chest heaved. I glanced down. Jack’s cock showed thick through his soaking shorts and I took a step forward and pressed to him once more, dropped my hand and traced his engorged length.

“You got something, Jack?” I asked.

He swallowed and nodded.

“Good. Let’s go inside.”

Chapter 19

Inside the barn the air cloaked us darkly after the brightness of the water, still enough light filtering through the doors for me to clearly see what Cherri and Jack were doing. Their wet underclothes hung on rusty nails hammered into the beams. Cherri’s small hand circled Brian’s thick cock, while Brian’s mouth pulled on Cherri’s sweet pink nipples and I had to force myself to turn away.

I reached behind and unclipped my bra and hung it on another nail, bent and stripped my panties off. I wrung them out, hung them up, half turned to find Jack staring at me. Everything was different today, none of my usual shyness holding me back and I stood naked before him, allowing his gaze to warm my skin. I nodded down at his shorts, barely able to contain his erection, making my meaning clear. For a moment I thought Jack wasn’t going to do anything, then he pulled his shorts down, leaning forward as though trying to hide the long stiffness of his cock.

I walked to him and took his hand and led him to a pile of bales. The straw stuck to my wet body as I lay on my back. Jack stood in front of me and I opened my legs and wrapped my heels around his hips and drew him toward me. His cock touched my belly and he jerked.

“Where are they?” I asked.

“In my jeans.”

“Get one.”

He nodded and moved away. I glanced at Cherri. She’d rolled over to kneel on a bale, back hollowed, head resting on her arms. Brian knelt behind her, his mouth buried between her thighs, Cherri’s eyes open, staring directly at me. A smile formed on her lovely lips and she winked. Yesterday, I might have blushed. On this magical afternoon I winked back and touched my breasts, holding them in my own hands. Cherri’s gaze dropped and she watched me fondle myself and the sensation in my breasts spread down my belly and lodged between my legs. I had seen Cherri touch herself, and now I let her watch me do the same, a hand sliding down to my fine, wet pubic hair. I lifted one leg, cupped my mound, pushed my middle finger between my labia. I stared at Cherri the whole time.

“Oh shit, Dani,” Jack groaned. He came back with a foil pack, made to tear the top off.

“Not yet,” I said. “I want you to get me ready first.”

“Uh, sure, sure.” Jack placed the wrapped condom down on a bale beside us. “What d’you want, Dani? Anything you want, sweetheart.” He knelt in front of me, his hand resting above my knee. I had to take control. Left to himself Jack would be too much a gentleman to ravage me in the way I needed.

I pulled him toward me, enjoying the touch of his cock against my belly, kissed him and whispered, “I want you to do what Brian’s doing to Cherri.”

Jack leaned on his elbow and turned his head. Cherri’d rolled onto her back, Brian’s mouth still buried between her thighs. He held his own cock in his hand, stroking himself as he bent to his task. Cherri had one arm across her mouth, biting on her hand.

“Oh baby,” Jack said, as though I had offered him the most wonderful present, and for the first time I realized that some men enjoyed the act. Pete would never have considered it, even though he pestered me to go down on him.

Jack kissed my breasts, drew my sensitive nipples between his teeth, nipped them lightly and I arched against him. Wow–where did he learn to do that? He was unbelievable.

Jack’s hand stroked my breasts, stroked my neck and shoulders, drifted down to my belly, my hips, and then to where I needed to be touched. I jerked as his fingers brushed my outer lips, moaned as a finger opened and invaded my inner folds.

“Oh God, Dani, you feel so good.”

I pushed on his shoulders and he took my direction, kissed his way down my belly, circled inside my navel with his tongue, moved on down, teasing, his fingers still working me. His lips ran across my pubic hair, his tongue emerged and teased my clitoris. For the first time in my life someone kissed me on that secret place. Jack nuzzled onward, his tongue slipping in above his finger, then his finger slid away and his tongue grew more insistent. I lifted my knees and rested one heel on his back, twisted his hair in my fingers and pressed his face to me. I’d never experienced anything so good in my life, Jack’s tongue magic against my pussy, his thumb finding my clitoris and rubbing.

I rolled my head to one side, staring at Cherri once more. Brian had one hand lifted to her breasts, kneading and tugging. I touched my own breasts, rolled them in my palms. Cherri had her head to one side, staring at me, and I wondered how long she’d been watching. Her eyes had glazed and I wasn’t sure whether she even saw Jack and I or was focused inward. Her chest heaved. Her slim, muscled belly pulled in, a tremor running through her, breath growing ragged as her hips pulsed rhythmically against Brian’s mouth. She’d twisted round and managed to reach down, her own hand now circling Brian’s cock. Brian in turn moved against her hand, his legs trembling and not completely from taking his weight.

Still Cherri stared at me, her eyes scanning my body. I pulled on my nipples for her, drawing them out from my heavy breasts. I cupped my hands beneath their weight and lifted, shook them so the tips circled and danced. I pumped against Jack, something warm catching in my belly and spreading. I was going to come, Jack about to make me come, Cherri already well into hers, eyes losing focus, rolling up as her body shook and a thin whining moan came from her slack mouth. She twisted again, rubbing Brian’s cock frantically, turning as she came, Brian’s hands cupping her ass as she shuddered against him. Her head dropped over the side of the bale and she tugged Brian and the purple head of his cock touched her cheek and Cherri turned her head and took the tip inside her mouth, rubbing hard and Brian gasped. I knew people did this thing, but had never witnessed it, never appreciated it could be done with such hunger and need, and as I shook under Jack’s lips I wondered if I would do the same with him, thinking I wanted to try, wondering if Cherri was going to let Brian come with his cock still in her mouth, knowing I wasn’t ready for that yet, and as the thought formed Brian jerked and his cock popped free just as he started to ejaculate. Cherri grabbed him, rubbing, trying to take him back into her mouth, clear what she wanted but Brian jerked too hard and she might have managed to catch a little of his emission but he pulled free again, splashing his seed onto her chin and neck, jerking and groaning.

I came a second time watching Cherri’s gorgeous body streaked with Brian’s seed. I tugged Jack’s hair and pulled him up, kissed him, excited again as I tasted myself on his mouth–a sudden, uncontrolled thought searing through me–is this how Cherri would taste?

“Put it on, Jack,” I gasped. “I want you to fuck me.”

He reached for the condom and tore it open, unrolled the sheer latex over his cock and pressed against me. I reached down, found his cock and guided him. I stared into his eyes as he entered me, discovering what pleasure lay in this act, discovering how much pleasure one person could give another. This is how sex was meant to be, not like it had been with Greg. He’d twisted my vision, embedding disgust rather than lust in my mind and I was sick and fucking tired of being afraid of such a wonderful act.

I wrapped my arms and legs around Jack’s body, bit his shoulder as I tipped instantly over again. So many new discoveries this afternoon, my first experience of cunnilingus, my first witnessing of a blow job, my first multiple orgasm at the hands of another person.

I sensed movement and turned to discover Cherri back on her knees as Brian entered her from behind. Cherri had rolled around to face us, moving closer. If I reached out my hand, and Cherri did the same out fingers would touch. The idea made me groan, and I couldn’t resist the attempt. I glanced at Cherri’s eyes, staring into mine, and I swear she read my mind because she gave a tiny nod as I reached across the space between us. Cherri’s hand came to meet mine. Too much space between us. Cherri shuffled forward on her knees, Brian moving to stay with her. I twisted the top half of my body, Jack oblivious as he pumped into me and I couldn’t believe he hadn’t come yet, but maybe he had and was continuing anyway.

My fingers touched Cherri’s. I twisted once more and our fingers entwined as Jack gasped and pounded me. I pumped against him, all inhibitions washed away in a sea of lust and scent and sound. We stared into each other’s eyes, Cherri and I, climaxing as one. A change washed through her face, whether our touch was the trigger or her time had come I don’t know, but my head span and the world grayed out for a moment. An unbelievable explosion rolled from between my legs, filled my body, seemed it would fill the entire barn. Cherri’s fingers twisted and gripped mine hard, and if we’d been closer still we would have kissed. Not a friendly kiss, not a peck, I wanted to kiss her with my mouth wide and my tongue against hers.

***

Sweat dried on my skin. I lay back on the disturbed hay, body languorous and loose. Now I understood all the fuss about this sex thing. Oh, did I understand!

Cherri lay beside me, her foot touching mine, her arm against my arm, both of us naked but I remained at ease, comfortable with her closeness, still excited by her but no longer afraid. Brian walked to the edge of the platform, stood leaning against the thick upright holding an even thicker cross beam which held a rusted pulley. He stood tall and lean, still naked, and the sunlight caught his hair, glowed through the down covering his arms and legs. Jack wandered over to stand beside him, casually placing an arm around Brian’s shoulder as he leaned over to discover what Brian was looking at.

Brian pointed. “Look at the size of that fish!”

Jack nodded. “Twenty pounds, gotta be.”

“Wish I’d brought some gear.”

“Aren’t they beautiful?”

“They are.” I nodded, straw rustling beneath my head. Late sunlight outlined the two men, highlighting their profiles. Jack’s hand remained on Brian’s shoulder. Brian’s arm circled Jack’s narrow waist. They seemed totally at ease in each other’s company, despite their nakedness, and a weird jealous pang touched me as I wondered about that closeness. Then Cherri’s fingers twisted through mine and I smiled inwardly, because this cut both ways. The afternoon had shifted something major inside me. I’d lost the last of my girlhood, moved into being a full adult, discovered I enjoyed sex and wanted more. A lot more. I was no longer afraid of the feelings for Cherri that had plagued my summer. What I’d just experienced with Jack pushed those childish longings deep into the background.

The boys talked softly, leaning against each other and Cherri said, “They’re really turning me on, Dan. D’you think they do it?”

I could’ve pretended ignorance but understood exactly what Cherri meant. “How would you feel if they did?”

She laughed softly. “Fuck. I’d pay to watch that. How about you?”

I hummed, trying to make up my mind. “I dunno...”

“Oh yeah definitely. Imagine that, Dan, two guys doing each other. Or two guys doing you at the same time, or me. You ever had two at once?”

I laughed, the sound causing Jack to turn back to find out what was going on. “God, Cherri, I’ve barely had one. I’m not getting greedy.”

“I’d do ‘em both,” Cherri said. Her eyes sparked with that wicked gleam I’d come to recognize so well.

“Really?” No surprise in my voice, only curiosity.

“Sure.”

“How would that work? You know, who does what… and where?”

Cherri burst out laughing and rolled toward me, her small breast pressing against my arm, my nipples responding instantly and Cherri would see my reaction but lethargy consumed me, the same willing acceptance at what was happening in the barn filling me.

“Tell the truth, Dan, I’m not quite sure. But it’d be fun to find out.”

“You think?”

Cherri leaned close, a leg wrapping over my thigh, mouth close to mine and I let my hand rest on her hip.

“I know you’re curious.”

“What are you two plotting?” Brian’s voice interrupted us, filled with soft amusement. We looked away from each other, some spell breaking. While Cherri and I had been wrapped up in each other they’d turned back to us, still touching, their arms around each other’s waists and both their cocks had grown heavy, swaying between their legs, half risen. Brian casually reached down and stroked himself, his cock rising from the touch.

“Only saying how good you both look,” Cherri said.

“Not as good as you two. Fuck, Cherri, d’you know how hot you two are lying like that?” He stroked himself again, took a step forward, Jack’s arm dropping loose from his waist.

“Ready for more?” Cherri asked.

Brian nodded and took another step.

“How about you, Jack?”

He spread his arms. “What d’you think?”

“Come here then,” Cherri said, but when she spoke she stared at Jack, not Brian, and my stomach gave a flip.

Jack frowned, staying on the platform. Cherri glanced at Brian and raised an eyebrow. “If it’s okay with you?”

Brian nodded. “Sure.” His eyes darted to me, a hunger in them that excited me knowing what was about to happen, and on that enchanted afternoon I became a willing participant.

Chapter 20

The next morning events in the barn had faded to a dream, something unreal I might have created as a fantasy. Cherri made no mention of what happened between us all, and over breakfast Jack and Brian were the same as ever. The difference seemed to be all mine. As I ate and talked my voice sounded natural but my head replayed scenes from the barn. Brian entering me from behind as I knelt on a bale of straw and watched Cherri try to force Jack’s cock deeper into her mouth. And later, when I thought I couldn’t climax one more time Cherri and I had knelt head to head, our arms around each other’s shoulders while the boys changed places once more. As my body began to spasm I turned and kissed Cherri on her neck and she did the same to me and I jerked and yelped as Jack emptied himself in the rubber and Brian leaned over Cherri’s back, lifted my face and kissed me. How the hell were they not changed by all that? How did they manage to act so goddamn normal over breakfast?

Breakfast, though, was the last time all four of us would be together this way. Our last happy time.

Late afternoon I walked with Jack to the photography classroom, a foot between us because we still needed to pay lip service to the non-fraternization rules.

“What’s going on?” Jack’s voice drew me from inside my own head and I glanced up to see Sara and Greg Hanson standing on the step with Chrissy Simmons. Some kind of heated discussion was going on and as we drew closer their voices carried.

“…absolutely sure about this, Sara?” Chrissy said.

Sara nodded. “Of course I’m sure, Mrs Simmons. Of course I am.”

“These are serious allegations you’re making.”

“Sara told me after Jack took them,” Greg said, and my stomach sank. He’d been ignoring me since our run in on this same spot a month before; ignored but obviously not forgotten.

A strange atmosphere came off the three of them, something out of kilter. And then realization struck. Chrissy wasn’t in charge anymore. The way Brian stood broadcasted him as the dominant figure. He and Sara. Chrissy acted as she always did, but diminished in their presence, nothing she did so much as the way Greg and Sara acted, as though they owned the world.

Chrissy Simmons caught sight of us. “We’ll find out then, won’t we?” She gave a glance at Sara and Greg as though to say she was still uncertain, said, “Dani, Jack, I need to search the classroom.”

I made an effort to appear casual. “Sure.” I didn’t dare look at Jack. I was pretty sure the secret panel behind the cabinet wouldn’t be discovered easily. I rummaged in my pants and pulled out the key, but Chrissy was already using her master key, swinging the door open and waiting for us to enter.

Greg led the way, eager, wanting to prove his allegations and I started to wonder exactly how much he knew. I glanced at Jack but he was looking the other way, deliberately ignoring the cabinet beside the small storeroom. I glanced over and a chill ran through me. The cabinet was slightly off center, not square with the back wall where it usually sat.

Chrissy Simmons started opening cupboards, went to open a box of photographic paper and I said, probably too fast, “No!”

She stopped, eyes narrowing. “No? Why not, Dani, something in here you don’t want me to see?”

I shook my head. “It’s photo paper, Chrissy. Light sensitive. If you open the lid it’ll be ruined.”

Her mouth was set in a tight line and I saw she didn’t believe me. She opened the top and found a black plastic wrapper. Her eyes glanced up at mine and I saw a glint of something in them… satisfaction? She pulled the plastic from the box and untucked the edge, tipped the sheets of white photographic paper onto the bench. She pushed them around, searching for something incriminating. When she found nothing but glossy white paper, already spoiled, she looked at me again.

“I told you. That pack’s ruined now.”

She didn’t care, pulling out another box. “This is a great way to hide something.”

“Please, don’t.” My voice sounded pathetic and I turned away, unable to watch the waste. I hadn’t been following Sara or Greg and as I spun away I found Greg pushing at the cabinet by the storeroom. No way he was doing that accidentally. All of this was a set-up by him and Sara. I glanced across at Jack and raised an eyebrow and he gave a shrug. He’d shown Sara where he hid his pictures. Idiot.

“Mrs Simmons, I think there’s something behind here,” Greg said, and I saw him trying to hide a triumphant grin. He was a lousy actor, but Chrissy Simmons had hit her stride now and failed to notice his smirk.

“What have you got, Greg?” She left a second discarded and ruined box of paper and strode across.

“I found a loose board.” Greg was on his knees, fingertips tugging at the secret panel. It resisted his efforts, but only because he didn’t know the trick. Push up, across then down and it popped out into your hand. Even the hard way finally gave to Greg’s fingers and the panel fell with a clatter to the floor.

Greg reached in with his hand but Chrissy Simmons pushed him aside. “I’ll do this, thank you, Greg.” She knelt beside him, her sweatshirt riding up as she reached into the dark gap and I gazed idly at the red band of a thong and my mind buzzed back to the times Cherri and I had spied on her.

Nothing any of us could do now but wait for the storm to break. I perched on a stool and glanced at Jack, who was watching Chrissy with a dazed expression. She rummaged around in the gap then her fingers must have found something because she went still and the corner of her mouth lifted.

She withdrew her hand, holding the brown folder Jack had hidden. She rose and carried it to the nearest bench.

“What’s this, Dani?”

I shook my head. “I’ve no idea. Probably been there years.”

Her smile twitched. “I’m sure you’re right. Let’s find out, shall we?” She unsnapped the bands and let the contents spill across the bench. Images of Sara in various stages of undress spread out. Chrissy fanned them, her expression hardening again, but also a flush climbing her neck.

She stopped, her fingertip resting on a black and white ten by eight.

“What exactly do we have here, Dani?”

I shook my head violently. “I told you, I don’t know.” I was shaking, sure my guilt would show. I didn’t want to implicate Jack, but I didn’t want to take the blame either. We were gone anyway, both of us, and a sense of inevitability settled over me.

“I took them.” Jack pushed off the stool and walked across to Chrissy and the pictures. He touched one gently, as though reminding himself of Sara’s skin beneath his fingers. “Dani knows nothing about this. These are all down to me, Chrissy, only me.” He stared down at the photographs, never once looking in my direction.

I should have protested, taken some of the blame, but I didn’t. Jack had taken the pictures. Any blame was mostly his. But I’d known about them, seen them, came here and studied them in private, allowing myself to grow aroused at the site of a beautiful young women posing for the camera.

“I don’t believe you,” Chrissy said to Jack. “Dani must have known what you were doing. Where are the others, Jack?”

“Others?”

“I hear you’ve taken others. Pictures of…” Her voice caught and her flush rose higher as my stomach sank, not knowing what evil Sara and Greg had been spreading. “Pictures of children, Jack. Where are the pictures of the children!”

“No way!” Jack protested. “These are all of them, I swear on my mother’s life, these are everything.”

“I heard different. We’ll take this classroom apart piece by piece if we have to. Where are they, Jack?”

“I told you, these are the only ones!”

“He’s lying.” Greg came closer to our group. “He told Sara he did this all the time. I bet he’s got pictures of Dani and Cherri as well. He told Sara he can’t help himself. He said he’s taken pictures of some of the girls. Boys too.”

“Fucking liar!” Jack roared and launched himself at Greg. Greg was heavier than Jack and three inches taller, but at that moment he could have been twice Jack’s size and it wouldn’t have made any difference. Greg fell back under Jack’s anger. Jack’s fist caught him on the shoulder, glancing off. He swung again but Greg recovered and threw a punch back which caught Jack on the side of the head, snapping him around, slowing his progress for a moment before he launched himself again.

“Sara, go and fetch Jeff, quickly!” Chrissy Simmons gasped.

Sara ran from the room and I went the other way, grabbed Jack’s arm and pulled him back. His muscle moved under my palm and he jerked away. I grabbed him again, trying to wrap my arms around him to stop him hitting Greg again. Greg took the opportunity and swung at Jack again, or I thought he was swinging at Jack but at the last moment his fist seemed to deflect and before I reacted a stunning pain exploded in my head and everything went dark.

***

When I came round I was lying in my own bed, Cherri sitting beside me holding a wet towel to my cheek.

“Hey, Dan, you’re back. You had me worried for a while.”

“What…”

“Easy, honey, you’re okay now.” She pressed the towel against my cheek, a swelling beneath the cool cotton. Movement beyond her drew my gaze and I saw Chrissy and Jeff Simmons standing in the room. Beyond them a huddle of girls stared in.

“How are you, Dani?” Jeff Simmons stepped forward, crowding the small room

“Okay, I guess.”

“We’re going to take you into town, have Doc Peterson check you over.”

“I’m fine,” I repeated.

“I think the doctor should check you out,” Jeff said.

“Go, Dan,” Cherri added. “To be safe.”

My cheek ached, but my head seemed to have stopped spinning. However, I had to go along. “Where’s Jack?”

Jeff Simmons’ sympathetic expression drained away. “Jack’s packing. He’ll be coming into town with us, but he won’t be coming back.”

I started to nod until discovering movement made the pain worse. I wasn’t surprised Jack was leaving.

“I’m coming with you,” Cherri said.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for too many people to-”

“Jack’s going to be in the jeep with you,” Cherri said.

“Of course.”

“Then I don’t want Dani alone with Jack. So I’m coming too.”

Jeff Simmons, having been outflanked, nodded. “Sure, of course. Good idea, Cheryl.”

Cherri rolled her eyes at me. They still insisted on using her given name.

I was starting to feel better. Cherri helped me up, leaning too close to be any real help but good to have her body pressed against mine as we made our way out. I saw some of the kids had been crying, almost starting me off too finding out they’d been worried about me. Mandy sat on her bed. She nodded to me as I went into the corridor and I nodded back, stopped stiffly as my head span.

Jeff Simmons drove his big Jeep up to our door. Jack sat up front, staring straight ahead. I climbed in back and Cherri slid in next to me. Chrissy Simmons closed the door then walked round and spoke to her husband, their voices too soft for me to overhear. I leaned back against the soft leather, headache thumping, and closed my eyes. Cherri found my hand and squeezed, left her fingers tangled with mine and I smiled sleepily as we pulled away and bounced down over the grass.

The trip into town took an hour and the whole way hardly anyone spoke. I wanted to talk to Jack, wanted to thank him for what he’d done. Impossible with Jeff Simmons sitting up front.

Cherri came into the doctor’s surgery with me but wasn’t allowed in the examining room. Jeff Simmons stayed outside, and I guessed he was making sure Jack got his bus.

Doc Peterson was great, gentle and quietly spoken. He checked me out, asked me a bunch of meaningless questions, shone a light in my eyes and examined my cheek.

“You’re going to have one beaut of a shiner, Dani, but nothing’s broken. Apart from looking like a prize fighter for a week you’re going to be fine. I’ll write you out a prescription for some painkillers. The pharmacy’s open till ten so you can get them tonight. Don’t take any if you don’t need them.”

I smiled. “I’ll try not to, doc.”

“You were lucky.” He cocked his head to one side. “I understand the person who hit you is pretty big.”

“Big asshole,” I said.

He tried to mask a smile and failed. “Well, I wouldn’t know about that. Take things easy for a couple of days, and try not to get in the way of someone else’s fight again.”

“My fight too,” I said.

He made no comment, slapped his hands on his knees and stood. “Okay then.” He handed me a scrawled prescription and escorted me back out to Cherri.

We walked out onto the street. Darkness had arrived while I was inside and the street lights had come on. Only with night cloaking me did I fully realize how long I’d been out. No wonder everyone was so worried. I waved the script at Cherri and she slipped her arm through mine as we crossed the street to the drugstore.

“So what’s happening with Greg?” I asked. “Is he getting flung out too for whacking me?”

“Ha!” Cherri huffed. “Everyone thinks what happened was a pure accident. You just got in between them. Greg’s the golden boy right now. Him and Sara. They’ll be bagging their shit next and selling it.”

I giggled. “Eugh. That’s one image I don’t need, Cherri.”

She laughed back. “Yeah, I guess not. But he’s not gonna get away with this, Dan. We’ll find some way of getting him back.”

“Let it go, Cherri.”

She glanced at me, determination on her face.

“You don’t mean that, honey.”

“I do. Where’s Jeff now?”

“I think he went to the store.”

“And Jack?”

“Bus station. I saw Jeff march him down.”

“Where is it?”

We stopped outside the pharmacy, windows splashing yellow light across the sidewalk. Cherri looked at me and nodded. “End of the street, turn right. About a hundred yards.” She held her hand out to me. “You want me to fill your script?”

I smiled, shoved a fistful of tens into her hand, kissed her cheek and walked past her.

***

I found Jack sitting on a bench in the dark, on the edge of a pool of light cast from a single lamp. His head was down on his hands, elbows supported on his knees, rucksack between his legs, and he didn’t hear me approaching from the side. I sat down next to him.

“Hi.”

He turned his head, not surprised. Maybe he had heard me.

“Hi Dani.”

I reached over and took his hand.

“Thanks Jack.”

“For what? How are you?” He leaned close to examine my cheek. “That’s gotta hurt, baby.”

“A little, yeah. Thanks for taking the blame.”

He laughed softly. “All mine to take, Dani. They were my pictures. My bad.”

“But I knew about them.”

“You didn’t take them.”

No, I thought, not those pictures. I thought of the secret rolls of negatives stuffed in my rucksack.

“I’m gonna miss you like hell,” I said, squeezing Jack’s hand.

“I’m gonna miss you too, Dani. Miss you a lot.”

“Yeah? Really? Not just my tits?”

“Well, yeah, mostly those, of course.” He’d held out pretty well, but his voice caught and he leaned into me and sighed. He pressed his face to my uninjured cheek and stroked my hair. “I wasn’t gonna say this, Dani, but I’ll probably never see you again, so what the fuck.”

I waited. A minute passed. “Say what, Jack?”

He pulled away and looked into my eyes. “You know I love you, don’t you.”

I shook my head. “Summer camp, Jack, it’s only summer camp.”

“No. This is more than summer camp. But what the hell…” He shrugged.

I kissed him with one side of my mouth and Jack laughed.

“I’m gonna miss those, too.”

“Me too,” I said, speaking the truth. Jack was one of the good guys. All summer he’d only ever done whatever was best for me, only ever done what I wanted, never pushed for more, always accepting whatever role I put on him.

“If you want to meet up some time give me a call, Dani. No pressure. None at all.”

I nodded, Jack so sweet there never would be any pressure. “What time’s your bus?”

“An hour yet.”

“I’d like to stay, Jack, but I can’t.”

“I understand. It’s okay. You get back.”

I stood, still holding his hand and he glanced up at me, a strong man, far stronger than Greg Hansen would ever be. I leaned down and kissed him, kissing through the pain.

“I love you too, Jack,” I said, and turned away quickly before he caught my lie. He’d done so much for me today, a lie was the least I could offer in return.

Chapter 21

Monday evening while the brats watched a movie Cherri and I once more walked the narrow track east to the barn. Cherri was quiet, and I didn’t feel much like talking. My cheek ached, and as promised I had an impressive shiner that had drawn admiration all day. Pretty much everyone knew what happened, and why. A few–hell, more than a few–had made a point of coming up to let me know they considered Greg and Sara were in the wrong for ratting Jack out. I nodded and smiled and said thanks, keeping my own guilt buried.

As the barn came into view I said, “How come you didn’t invite Brian tonight?”

Cherri shrugged and walked on. “Wanted to spend some quality time with you, Dan. Thought we’d make this a girl’s only night.”

“Sure. But wasn’t Brian, you know, pissed?”

“Brian does what he’s told.” Cherri grinned.

The day was cool and occasional showers had been scudding over the lake most of the day, obscuring the distant shore, but as evening came on the cloud broke and when we climbed the ladder to the loft sun shone directly in onto the hay, the upper space forming a heat trap. The air smelled fragrant with straw, earth and water, our feet raising clouds of dust which swirled in the rays of the sun. Cherri sat cross legged near the open doors, leaning against a bale we’d dragged across on a previous visit. I sat beside her and she reached across and took my hand, held it in her lap with the round plumpness of her mons against the back of my hand, and I was uncomfortable to find myself growing aroused. Again! Every time I was around Cherri now I grew aroused. If I wasn’t so ecstatic I’d be exhausted.

“Another week, Dan, that’s all we’ve got.”

I sighed. “I know. It’s been a great summer though.”

Cherri squeezed my hand. I wasn’t sure, but I thought she pressed me harder against herself, though I was probably mistaken.

“Fantastic. What are you doing when we leave? College?”

“Sure. How about you?” College wasn’t on the agenda for Cherri, but I wasn’t quite sure what was. “You going back home?”

“Uh-uh.” She shook her head, the lowering sunlight haloing the blonde curls. “I’m going on the road.”

“On the road? Like Jack Kerouac?”

She laughed and stood up, brushing hay from the back of her skirt.

“Yeah, if I can find someone called Neal Cassidy. No, I’m gonna give myself a year to see if I can make it as a singer.” Cherri walked to the edge of the platform and peered down before glancing back at me, her face silhouetted with bright sunlight behind. “You wanna go swimming, Dan?”

I laughed. “God, Cherri, don’t you ever stop?”

“Why would I want to stop? We’ve only got a week, Dan, let’s make the most of our time.” She began unbuttoning her cream cotton blouse, wrinkled and creased after all these weeks but still looking good. She let it drop carelessly on the barn floor, reached down and unclipped her skirt, holding it for a moment before allowing it to pool at her feet. She glanced at me, waiting, dressed only in the dusky pink bra and panties she’d worn on the day we arrived. She was stunning. Unbelievably beautiful.

Cherri cocked her head to one side. “So, you coming, or what?” Waiting for me again.

“I’m coming.” I sat on one of the bales the guys had dragged to the platform and untied my boots, pulled off my socks and stood, still uncomfortable to be undressing in front of Cherri but she’d changed me enough to play along with this game. I unzipped my pants first and kicked them away, slipped from the fishing vest and pulled my t-shirt over my head. My own blue bra and panties hugged my figure and I was aware of Cherri’s gaze taking everything in.

She stepped to the edge of the platform and looked down. Glanced back over her shoulder. She curled her arm behind and slid her finger up beneath the dark pink strap of her bra, pulled it away from her body, released it with a snap.

“Unclip me, Dan?”

I swallowed, took two steps to stand close behind her, enveloped in her scent. My fingers shook when I lifted them and it took me a couple of tried to work the two eyes loose on the catch of her bra. When the back strap fell away Cherri half turned toward me, waiting again. I stepped sideways, slid my fingers under the arms of her bra straps and drew them forward from her shoulders, lifted the cups free of her breasts exposing them to the air and my sight. Sun splashed her skin, her nipples as pale pink as the surrounding areola, the down on her body glowing.

I breathed hard, the air suddenly too thin, then turned around and waited. Nothing happened. I reached back, repeated the same gesture Cherri’d made and waited again. Her fingers touched my skin, sliding beneath my bra strap, hesitating and then loosening me. My breasts sagged a little as they came free but, as Cherri had I waited, turning back to her. She came close, the heat of our bodies filling the gap between us and her hands drew on my straps. The cups of my bra held against my breasts, filling them more than Cherri’s had, resisting and she drew again until they succumbed to her pressure and she tossed my bra aside. Her hand came up, hesitated, almost touching my nipple which strained against the air. Then she dropped her hand and repeated the gesture she had made but with her panties, sliding her fingers inside the front and snapping the waist against her skin with a soft slup.

I knelt in front of her and drew her panties down. For a moment they caught between her legs and I tugged to pull them free, slid the sheer cotton down her legs and Cherri lifted one foot then the other and I dropped her panties to one side, remaining on my knees in front of her, the aroma of arousal wafting around me. Then I stood. My hand went to my panties and I drew them away and released. It was Cherri’s turn to kneel, coming so close her hair brushed my hip and then her fingers worked beneath the sides of my panties and they slid down my legs. I did as she had, left foot, right, stood naked before her wondering if she could smell me as I had her. She sighed, her warm breath brushing through my fine pubic hair and again her hand rose as though to touch me, rose and hesitated and moved away.

As Cherri stood I turned back to the lake. Coming to stand beside me her hand circled my waist and she leaned over.

“You still wanna swim, Dan? It looks awful cold.”

“It is cold, you know it is.”

She nodded. “We could just lie in the sun for a while instead.”

“You want to do that?”

She shook her head as though, no, that wasn’t what she really wanted to do, but said, “I guess.” Cherri smiled and leaned on the heavy beam rising vertically at the side of the opening, crossing her ankles, folding her arms, her body relaxed in display. I noticed once more how her pubic hair didn’t match the blonde on her head, reddish in the sunlight, and without knowing why I said, “D’you dye your hair, Cher?”

She laughed and leaned forward to look down at her bush. “Does it give me away, you think? I guess I ought to dye ’em too, but hey, who’s gonna see? I could always shave everything off down there.”

“Shave...”

Cherri grinned at my shock. “Sure. I’ve seen girls who’ve done that, haven’t you? It’s kinda hot.”

I shook my head. This was the late eighties, I was innocent, and back then a brazilian was someone played soccer. Cherri’s eyes tracked down my body, hesitated on my breasts, moved on.

“Well, at least your drapes match the carpet.

I laughed hard with a sudden release of tension. “I guess,” and stepped across to stand in the doorway.

“God Dan, you really don’t realize how beautiful you are, do you?”

I shook my head, flushing. “Thanks, but you don’t need to flatter me.”

“I’m not, babe.” Cherri took a pace so she stood close to me. Her warmth touched my naked skin and I flinched when she rested her hand in the small of my back, stroking my skin lightly. “You’re absolutely stunning. God, what I’d give for tits like yours.” Her free hand reach across for a third time as though to touch me, not sure if I was relieved or disappointed when she stopped.

Cherri turned away quickly and strode to the bales and draped herself across them, patted the straw beside her. “Come sit next to me, Dan. It’s warm.”

I eased myself onto the bale, making sure a foot of space separated us. The straw had worked loose from the bales and formed a comfortable bed, but stalks tickled my back and ass and thighs. The sun fell hot against my skin and I let my head drop back, raised my arms and closed my eyes, exhausted from the tension in the air.

I heard Cherri shift beside me but kept my eyes closed, knowing she was examining my body, as though permission had been granted with the lowering of my lids.

“You shave your pits, Dan,” Cherri said after a while and I smiled.

“Of course.”

“Me too. Of course. So why do we do that, but not shave, you know, down below?”

I shrugged, relaxing in the heat. “I guess we just don’t, do we.”

“No.”

I heard her lie back, and she moved closer, her arm pressed against mine, her foot touching my leg. I didn’t dare open my eyes now, lay in the heat of the sun trying not to tense up. I listened to small waves wash against the shore, listened to the wind soughing through the trees around the barn; distantly I heard voices coming from people back at camp, sound carrying in the still evening air. Then I heard Cherri moving. Faint sounds. A creak of straw as she shifted. The noise of her breathing, faster than before. I lay still, aware the arm pressed against mine was moving. When I couldn’t stand the suspense any longer I opened my eyes. Cherri was doing what I’d guessed, right next to me, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Cherri’s left hand slipped between her legs, knees raised slightly, and her fingers were moving over her clitoris. Her body undulated softly, hips gently rising to meet her hand. My eyes tracked her body; the bright sun caught her red pubic hair turning it to flame; flat stomach ridged with lines of muscle beneath soft skin, drawn in along the line of her navel; breasts small and firm, up-tilted nipples erect a quarter inch from the pale pink aureole around them. I was staring and Cherri caught me.

“I thought you’d gone to sleep,” she said, her voice soft. Her movement didn’t stop, continuing to rub herself, adding her right hand to the mix by lifting it to a breast.

I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak. My nipples hardened, much darker than Cherri’s, longer, the deep brown aureolae round as a silver dollar.

“Join me if you want, hon.”

“Uhhn…” I hadn’t meant to respond, but some primeval sound escaped me.

Cherri laughed softly and her movement speeded up. “Come on, Dan. I know you do this. I’ve heard you in the night. You must’ve heard me too. I’m always so horny round you I can’t help myself, and you’re my best buddy, and if I can’t do this with you… well…”

“Nuh,” I said.

Cherri lifted her hand from herself and reached over to grasp my wrist. Her fingers were strong, a faint slickness on them against my skin but it didn’t disgust me. Far from disgust. She pushed my arm, pushing my hand down my belly toward my own sex.

“Go on, Dan, let’s do it together. I’d like us to do it together.”

“Cherri.”

“I know, hon, but you know you want to.”

The side of her hand slid over my skin as she pressed my fingers closer to my bush, my skin responding galvanicly, tiny thrills darting from her touch. My hand hardly offered any resistance. My fingertips encountered my pubic hair, fine and soft and short. Cherri pressed on, sitting up to watch, color rising along her neck, her shoulder pressing against mine, her head close and I smelled shampoo and skin, her breath brushing my cheek, the sweetness of her breath filling my senses. Cherri led my fingertips to my clitoris and pressed, her hand never leaving my wrist, encouraging me, moving my hand over myself.

“Like this,” she whispered, sitting up further. “God Dan, you’ve got such a pretty pussy. I love your clit, honey, absolutely love it. I’d like mine to be as big and juicy as yours.” She leaned close and her breast touched the side of mine and I shivered. She laughed gently. “I guess we’re being wicked, ain’t we?”

I nodded, all resistance gone as Cherri rocked my hand. My thighs parted of their own volition and Cherri urged my fingers downward, finding myself wet and ready.

“Go on, baby, do yourself for me.” Cherri spoke against my neck as I parted my sticky pussy lips and slid a finger inside. She sighed, pressing closer against me, her small breast now resting against my larger one and I wanted her to come closer still but too afraid to say a word, unable to believe my perverted lust would be reciprocated. She withdrew her hand, leaving my wrist bereft as she began to pleasure herself once more. She lay half turned toward me, her breasts shivering as she worked herself faster and I shifted position to face her, our breasts touching now and I shifted again until my larger, darker nipples pressed against the sweet pinkness of hers and Cherri gasped, wanting this too but still I held back, afraid of consequences, afraid of rejection, my belly aflame with what we were doing to ourselves.

“God Dan, I want to…” Cherri gasped, pressing against me, her nipple hard against mine and I wanted to touch her and didn’t. This so different, so hot I couldn’t make sense of the emotions roiling through me. I enjoyed sex with Jack, but this was something transformed, something stirring me in a deeper place, and I believe that moment in the barn with Cherri was the moment I accepted my true nature.

“What d’you want, Cher… anything you want…”

“Oh Dan… I wanna touch you, baby…”

“You do?”

“Oh fuck yeah.”

My arm slid against Cherri’s, the arm that led to the hand that pushed two fingers inside myself rubbed against her arm doing exactly the same thing.

“You really want to touch me?”

She nodded, gasping. “Sorry if I’m grossing you out… but yeah I really do.”

This was the moment, one way or another. “I want you to touch me,” I said.

Her arm stopped moving and she looked up, away from what we were doing to ourselves to gaze into my face. “You’re sure about this, Dan?”

I nodded, wanting to lean across and kiss her and I should have because she was about to touch me but I didn’t.

“Oh Dan.”

I slid my slick fingers free of the warm tightness of my sex and let them trail over Cherri’s belly. Her skin trembled beneath my touch, then her own hand came back across and touched me below my navel and I sank back on the straw and parted my thighs wider, letting Cherri know I was hers to do with as she wished.

“Me too?” Cherri whispered, lying back, and I allowed my fingers to drift lower. Her skin was so soft, so smooth. Her hand slid flat down my belly, reached my pubic hair and caressed me, always moving lower until her fingers found my clit and pressed, lightly at first and then more firmly and I pushed up against her hand, rocked against her so her fingers pleasured me and she groaned and moved down and pressed inside my dripping pussy. I found her pretty sex nestled among the tangle of red hair and opened her, finding her equally wet.

“Make me come,” I said.

“Oh Dan, yes please baby.”

As her fingers explored deeper I was moments away, the trembling already starting up, my thighs quivering. I pressed against her side, our bodies touching and sliding against each other, our fingers invading the other’s most private places and Cherri started moaning deep in her throat, as excited as me and I stopped thinking, stopped worrying and allowed the wanton pleasure of the moment to build and peak. I came suddenly, fast and wild, crying out once before biting down on my lip and beside me Cherri hissed tightly between her teeth and the slick muscle walls inside her pussy closed on the two fingers I’d worked inside. She grabbed my wrist and pressed me deeper, gripping my hand between her thighs, quivering and jerking beneath me. I bucked against her hand, stretching my legs out, opening them wide to allow her full access, Cherri knowing what I wanted, pressing far inside me as pleasure washed out from her fingertips, out from my pussy to fill my body, washing in waves through my belly and breasts and arms and fingertips. I jerked and cried out again, relaxing only slowly as the waves became ripples, my body slumping. Cherri’s fingers stayed a moment before withdrawing and I drew mine from her body but left my hand flat on her stomach.

We lay beside each other, bodies sated, unease building inside me as the moments passed, wondering if what we’d done meant as much to Cherri, or if she’d needed only to find relief and I’d been a convenient means of achieving that. Cherri rolled on her side and slid her hand around my waist, kissed my shoulder.

“Fuck, Dan, that was something else.”

I laughed, nervousness giving way to possible hope. “Did you like…doing that?”

“Like? You gotta be joking. That was so different to doing myself. How about you?” She snuggled closer, her hand rising to stroke the lower curve of my breast, triggering fresh arousal.

“It was wonderful,” I said, hearing the passion in my voice, fear rising again, but Cherri only pressed closer and her hand came up and circled my nipple.

“Wasn’t it? You wanna do it again sometime?”

“Sure.”

“When?” Cherri stared at her finger circling my nipple, apparently fascinated at the effect on me. Some effect, her touch electric, my nipple rising beneath her fingertips, a slave to each caress.

“Anytime you want,” I said.

“You mean that, Dan?” She caught my nipple between finger and thumb, pulled softly. I jerked and she laughed. “Sensitive?”

“And some.”

“Wanna touch mine?”

“You don’t mind?”

She laughed again, louder. “I think that’s allowed after what we just did, don’t you?”

“Cherri…” I rolled to look at her pretty pink nipples, my fingers going directly to their target, her firm breast filling my palm perfectly.

“What hon?”

“I’m not sure…” I pulled on her nipple, enjoying the response. “It’s just…” I shook my head.

“You ever done this before, Dan? Touched another girl, I mean?”

I shook my head, fascinated by her body and the way her skin responded, cherishing my touch. “How about you?” A pang a ridiculous jealousy stabbed me at the idea she might have done these things with someone else, but she shook her head too.

“Never. You thought about it, though?”

I tried to shrug, but lying on my side it just made my boobs shake under Cherri’s hands.

“I bet you have. I didn’t have to try too hard to persuade you, did I?”

Only all summer! “You seduced me.”

She laughed. “Hardly. You were desperate. You wanted me to touch you, didn’t you?”

“How about you, Cher? Did you want me to touch you?”

Her face lost its grin and she nodded. “Couldn’t you tell?”

I slipped inside her arms, my breasts flattening against hers, my belly pressed against hers, my thigh sliding between her legs and she put her arms around me and drew me tight.

“I wasn’t sure. If anyone finds out we’ll get thrown out, just like Holly and Tonya.”

“We’ve only got a week left. Fuck ’em. I want to do this again, so fuck ’em.”

“I want to do it again too.”

She stroked my back. “We will, baby, I promise.”

I love you, I thought, but said nothing, the thought so strong in my head I was sure Cherri must hear, but she continued to hold me and somehow I slept, waking to darkness, chilled, still wrapped inside Cherri’s arms.

***

My emotions were extremely weird after what we’d done–happy, ecstatic and tingling all over, but weird. Cherri was her usual self and as we came out from the trees she jabbed me with her elbow and said, “You know the perfect way to finish off the night, don’t you?”

“Enlighten me.”

She laughed. “God, you’re so funny.”

“I am?”

She shook her head. “Come on, let’s go spy on Jeff and Chrissy again. I’m still horny and I’m ready for a show.”

“Cherri,” I said, but when she swerved off the path I followed. She led uphill into the trees until we sat once more on the branch, Cherri in front this time because she was shorter and I watched over her shoulder. The roof window glowed with soft light and shadows moved across the walls.

“You think they’re gonna fuck tonight?” Cherri asked.

I shrugged. “How often do married couples normally...?”

Cherri suppressed a laugh. “How often do your folks?”

“I-” I stopped dead, not even wanting to think about Mom and Dad having sex, the idea way too uncomfortable.

“How about yours?”

“Difficult to say. With each other?”

“Duh.”

“Been a while, I guess. Did I tell you my folks split up?”

“No.”

“Well they did. Two years back. I live with Mom, but I think she’d prefer if I didn’t.”

“You don’t mean that.”

She glanced over her shoulder at me, raised an eyebrow before returning her gaze to the lighted window. “Show’s about to start.”

Cherri hiked up her skirt and slipped a hand down the front of her panties. Insatiable. But a surge of arousal filled me and I loosened the top of my cargo pants.

Jeff Simmons came into view and lay on the bed naked. His cock lay flaccid along his thigh, still pretty impressive. Despite my growing obsession with Cherri I still appreciated his broad chest, flat stomach and thick cock. I loosened my pants more, working them down over my hips, rested my hands on Cherri’s hips.

“Atta girl,” Cherri said, her fingers working herself already. “Where’s Chrissy?”

Jeff was alone. Along the house another window was lit and steam clouded the glass.

“I think she’s taking a shower.”

Jeff leaned over and slid open the bottom drawer of his nightstand, pulled out a card folder.

“He’s working this time of night? Shit.” Cherri’s fingers stopped moving.

“Hang on. Chrissy’s gonna be out when she’s showered. He’s passing time is all.”

“Huh.” Cherri sounded dubious. Then she said, “What the-”

Jeff Simmons held the folder flat on his belly, pulling out sheets and studying them. As we watched his cock twitched then rose. The sight fascinated me, the way blood filled his organ, the way his cock moved as though of its own accord, filling, stiffening, rising to lie upright along his belly, the engorged purple head extending above his navel. He reached down and started to stroke himself.

“That’s better,” Cherri muttered, and her hand began to work inside her panties once more. I slipped my own fingers inside mine, fascinated, aroused, the illicit nature of what we were doing only adding to my excitement.

“I want to make this last,” Cherri said.

“Uh-huh,” I said, a raggedness to my voice, knowing I was unlikely to last long myself. I lifted the hand that rested on Cherri’s hip and cupped her breast.

“Mm, I like that,” she said.

I massaged the roundness beneath my palm, wanting to burrow inside and touch her skin. Then one of the pages fell from Jeff’s fingers and I gasped. “Cherri–those are Jack’s pictures!”

“What?” She had been drifting into a world of her own arousal, jerked back, her hand slipping from her panties, the now familiar scent of her pussy following.

“He’s… he’s jacking off to Jack’s photographs!”

“Ah shit.”

We fell silent, observing as Jeff Simmons continued to rub himself, his fist sliding up and down along his cock. He was stroking slowly, in no hurry to come. Over to one side the bathroom light went out. Below us Jeff Simmons glanced to the bedroom doorway, gathered up the photographs and slipped the folder back in his nightstand drawer. When Chrissy Simmons entered the room naked he lay with hands behind his head, cock proudly erect along his belly.

Chrissy grinned and crawled across the bed, her body glistening in the lamplight where she had moisturized. She kissed her husband’s chest then moved down, taking his stiff cock into her mouth. Jeff smiled, lifting his hips in appreciation and reaching for her small breasts.

“This is wrong,” I said.

“You what?” Cherri had started touching herself again.

“I can’t watch this. I’m going back.”

“Aw Dan…”

I pulled my pants up and worked myself back off the branch to the rock. “I’ll see you later.”

“Dani!”

I walked away. At the edge of the rock I stopped and turned, half expecting Cherri to be staring at me, but she’d turned back to the window. From the way her shoulders shook she was working herself hard. From where I stood I no longer saw the bed, only the far wall where strange dancing shadows gave testament to the act being carried out in the bedroom.

I jumped down and walked back to the cabin, my mind in turmoil, not sure exactly how I felt. Then: How dare they keep Jack’s pictures. They said, I had assumed, they would be destroyed, not used as some pornographic material for Jeff Simmons’s secret pleasure. From the way he hid the pictures it appeared Chrissy also believed them destroyed.

I slammed the cabin door and pulled my clothes off, disgusted with myself because I remained aroused, the dampness still between my legs. I couldn’t leave the pictures where they were. I’d have to find some way of getting inside and stealing them. No, not stealing, liberating. They were the ones who’d stolen them.

When Cherri finally came in I pretended to be asleep. Even after she called my name twice I stayed where I was, feigning sleep.

Chapter 22

After a couple of sleepless nights tossing in my narrow bed I finally worked up the courage to return to the Simmons’s house. No way around it, I had to get inside and rescue Jack’s photographs. I wasn’t worried if Jeff Simmons wanted to jack off over Sara’s pictures, but I did worry their discovery would have repercussions for Jack.

Thursday afternoon, two weeks before camp ended, I ushered my students from the classroom, locked up and wandered out through the trees trying to appear casual. I’d deliberately said nothing to Cherri about what I’d planned, even though she knew about the pictures. If something went wrong I didn’t want anything to come back on Cherri.

I figured sometime between four and five would be a good time to get inside. Jeff was usually with the campers until at least six, Chrissy in the office block or also out with the kids. The house would be empty. Three minutes and I’d be upstairs, take the photographs and away free and clear. Except like pretty much everything else that summer nothing went to plan.

I realized I had problems when I came from the trees and worked my way down past the tree Cherri and I sat in. In daylight I saw our feet had made a faint path through the underbrush. As I slipped down the slope to the narrow area behind the kitchen I glanced back more than once, relieved to see our coming and goings hidden from this angle.

Everything was different in daylight. Cord wood was piled high under the eaves at the rear of the house waiting for winter. The narrow walkway was covered in pine needles and leaves and I walked gently, even so ever footstep crunched until I tried shuffling one foot at a time. A single half glazed door led outside and I tried the handle, eased the door open. I stopped, listening, expecting silence but needing to be careful. My Nikon swung between my breasts and I wrapped a hand around the dented body in case it knocked against the doorframe. Nothing. I stepped inside and pushed the door slowly shut, looked around to familiarize myself with the layout. From our tree viewing platform we hadn’t seen much of the kitchen, concentrating instead on what went on in the bedroom. It was a nice kitchen, surprising me as I had somehow expected neither Jeff or Chrissy to be into cooking, but gleaming pans hung on hooks, chopping boards stacked on work surfaces and, the real giveaway, a collection of top quality Sabatier knives in a wooden block.

Two doors led out apart from the one I had entered through. One to the side probably gave onto a utility, the other showed a wide hallway and a part of the bottom of the staircase.

I eased open the half glass paneled door into the hallway, stopping as I heard voices and laughter. Someone watching TV? Or had it been left on? I couldn’t go upstairs without checking.

To my left a wide opening showed part of the living room and I moved that way, moving as slow as I could, ready at any moment to turn and run. How the hell I’d explain myself if I got caught I had no idea, planning on running and worrying about that later.

The voices grew clearer. The living room opened up as I got closer. Big picture windows looked down the slope to the lake, a killer view summer or winter. I saw the TV set to one side of a big hearth, turned off. I stopped, my heart hammering, and listened.

Three people, at least, and then a fourth spoke. They made no effort to keep their voices down, and why should they? Now I knew the sound wasn’t coming from the TV I recognized Jeff and Chrissy, frowned as another female voice said, “Turn around Jeff. I wanna see him fuck you next.”

The voice belonged to Sara.

I found myself inching along the hallway, hardly realizing I was moving. The end of a heavy leather sofa came into view and I stopped as an arm reached out and laid across the cushion. A woman’s arm, naked to the elbow, then the owner of the arm shifted and their shoulder and upper chest came into view. Naked. Sara stared at something out of my view, leaning back into the corner of the sofa, her naked body glistening with sweat in the light flooding through the picture windows. She pushed her short hair behind her ears, her hair sweat damp and smooth over her skull.

“Okay. But I want to fuck you in the ass after.” Jeff’s voice.

“Deal,” Sara said.

Jeff laughed. “Really?”

“Sure. She loves a cock in her ass.” Greg’s voice. “How about you?”

“Sure.” Two voices in unison, Jeff and Chrissy, followed by a laugh.

“You ready?” Greg said.

“Do me.” Jeff said.

What the hell had I walked in on? I remembered Greg’s sense of entitlement, the way he acted as though nothing he did had any consequence, and now I knew why.

I wanted to turn and leave but instead I started moving forward, more of the living room coming into view presenting a lascivious tableau laid out like some erotic version of Breughel.

Jeff Simmons was on his knees leaning forward onto the cushions of the sofa. Greg knelt behind him while Chrissy squirted clear liquid from a small bottle over his rigid cock. Sara slid across the sofa and said, “I wanna watch.”

Chrissy smiled at her, leaned over and the two women kissed, Chrissy smearing lube over Sara’s mobile breasts.

“Lick me,” Sara said when the kiss broke. “Lick my cunt while Jeff gets his ass stretched.”

Chrissy nodded, her eyes bright and face flushed, the air close and hot inside the house, all of them beaded with sweat. The aroma of their lovemaking filled the air.

So far no one had looked in my direction, each concentrating on the flesh arrayed before them. I lifted the Nikon and cupped my hand over the top as I wound a new frame through, lifted the shutter with the lever beside the lens. I had one chance, hoped I knew how to make the most of it. No time for a light reading, no time for anything. I raised the camera, the viewfinder useless now with the mirror raised, but at least the exposure would be almost silent. Even so I wrapped the Nikon inside one side of my fishing vest, wrapped my palms around the body. The living room was flooded with light. I set F11 and 1/125th of a second, peered above the useless viewfinder and at the perfect moment pressed the shutter.

The camera made a soft snicking sound muffled by my hands and the vest.

None of the four in the living room showed any indication they’d heard, not surprising considering the amount of noise they made, the distractions they had.

I took a step back. Another. Could I get upstairs and retrieve Jack’s folder while they were busy? I hesitated at the kitchen door, the staircase only feet away.

A noise came and I felt behind, turned the handle on the kitchen door and stepped back just as Chrissy walked naked into the hallway.

She walked past me without glancing aside, started up the stairs. A moment later Sara came out and stood with her hand on the bannister.

“Come back, Chrissy. I wanna watch Jeff getting fucked.”

Chrissy’s voice came from upstairs. “I’ve got something up here you might like even better.”

Sara grinned. “Yeah? What would that be?”

“Come up and you’ll find out.”

Sara took the first two steps, stopped and turned back. I ducked down behind the door and when I glanced out again she was gone.

I tiptoed from the kitchen and climbed through deadfall and leaves until I put distance between myself and the house before contouring around the hill back to camp. I locked the classroom behind me and fumbled a developing tank into a changing bag, my hands shaking as I dropped the camera inside and opened the back.

Chapter 23

With a single print resting wrapped in paper beneath my pillow the tension of what I’d done finally exhausted me and that night I slept as if dead, only as dawn brightened the room surfacing to a dream of Cherri. In my dream I experienced those same things we had done in the barn, Cherri’s wonderful slim fingers inside me, mine inside Cherri, the dream so vivid I smelled Cherri’s skin, tasted her sweet pepper-mint breath in my mouth. When the dream began to fade I fought back, not wanting to leave the wonderful sensations, but something drew me to the light and I sighed and rolled my head and stiffened, because half the dream, or something like it, continued.

Fingers traced circles on my stomach. My bare stomach. My top was raised to the bloom of my breasts, my skin cool as though dampened. I lay with eyes closed, trying to work out if I still dreamed or was awake. The hand on my skin must be Cherri’s. Cherri had been in my dream and now, awake or not, a hand stroked my belly, and as I’d slept that hand had lifted my top to bare the blossoming under-curve of my breasts.

I rolled my head, meaning to open my eyes and discover if this was real, not yet awake enough for shock or arousal to register, although arousal remained, had pursued me from my dream and followed me hungrily into wakefulness.

Before I started to open my eyes Cherri’s voice, close to my ear, whispered, “Shh, Dan, stay asleep. It’s okay baby.”

The hand tickling my belly slid upward, caressed the full curves beneath my breasts and I suppressed a gasp.

“Shh…” Cherri breathed again in my ear, fingers exploring beneath my top to discover my nipple, stiffening to her touch, growing ever more sensitive. Cherri’s lips touched my ear, drawing the lobe between her lips, moved away to my neck and returned.

“Mmm,” I breathed, not willing to wake from this dream, fearing that if I opened my eyes Cherri would stop.

“Shh baby… it’s a dream… only a dream.”

I smiled. No dream. No way. Too real, far too real to be a dream, but I didn’t want Cherri to stop so my eyes remained closed. I lay still as Cheri’s fingers explored my body, tracing beneath my breasts, tugging lightly at the tank top to expose them fully. Cherri ran a fingernail down between my breasts and along my belly, my skin shivering in response as Cherri breathed, “Shh…” once more. She circled my navel with the back of her finger, teasing below but not as far as the elastic waist of my sleep shorts. The finger returned, flicked a nipple, both now long and sensitive, tickled the upper swell of a breast and dipped into the hollow beneath my neck. Cherri smeared my mouth with the pad of her thumb and I pursed my lips, trying to kiss her thumb as it drew away.

“Naughty girl. You’re asleep.”

I sensed Cherri move closer, a change in the heat coming from her body, leaning over, and the tired springs of the bed creaked as she added her extra minimal weight. I was desperate to open my eyes, wanted to look at Cherri, to feast on her beauty but I continued to play along with the game until Cherri’s legs straddled my waist and she leaned forward, the back of her wrists against the top of my shoulders and her breasts touched mine, skin against naked skin, the twin buds of her nipples stiff and hard against my own.

I gasped, the sensation too sudden and desperate and my eyes came open to discover Cherri’s beautiful face close to mine, eyes downcast as she watched her breasts play against me, flattening my fuller mounds. Cherri glanced up and smiled, not her usual grin, something deeper.

“Cheating, Dan.” She moved closer, about to kiss my lips I was sure, parting them in readiness but Cherri chuckled and changed direction, pressing her cheek against mine. I lifted my hands, placing them on Cherri’s thighs, stroking upward along the outside of her legs, her skin hot beneath my palms. My fingers reached Cherri’s panties and continued on to her waist. Cherri’s hair brushed my face, my mouth, and I lifted up and tried to kiss Cherri’s chin but she pulled away. “I need to ask you something, Dan.”

“Anything. And the answer is yes.”

“You don’t know what the question is.”

I shook my head. “Whatever the question, the answer is yes. It’s always been yes.”

Cherri made a noise deep inside her throat, a cross between a moan and a growl. “Is that true, Dan?”

“From the very first moment.”

My hands rose from Cherri’s waist, traced her back and sides, moved inward and the heel of my palm brushed the underside of her breast, then emboldened moved to cup them. Cherri made that hoarse moan again.

“You don’t have to ask, Cherri. You don’t have to ask me anything.”

Cherri started to rock on my belly, grinding against my navel. I squeezed Cherri’s breast while my other hand slipped down and ventured inside her panties, the curve of her ass beneath my fingers. Cherri pressed against me, trapping my hand between her breast and mine. Her breath fanned hot against my cheek and I turned my face toward her mouth, wanting her kiss now, desperate for her kiss but Cherri’s lips remained against my cheek, turned aside as though not yet ready to take the next step despite what we’d already done, a kiss too intimate.

Cherri rolled aside, lay beside me and I turned to face her, breast to breast, belly to belly. I stared into Cherri’s eyes, the lust burning within mirrored by my own. Cherri’s irises were even bluer this morning, almost glowing from inside. Her hand pushed against me and a fear shot through that she wanted to push me away, but she only wanted me to roll on my back and as soon as I complied Cherri grinned.

“Are you ready for this?” Cherri asked.

I nodded.

“Really ready?”

I nodded again.

“I don’t know how I’ve kept my hands off you this long, baby.” Those hands exploring me as she spoke, stroking my breasts, lifting and moving them, pulling at my nipples now so sensitive it was almost more than I could bear, wandering wantonly along my belly to tease with the elastic line of my sleep shorts which pulled and creased tight between my legs, hiding nothing from Cherri’s gaze. Cherri played her fingers along the elastic, then wriggled them inside, finding my sparse pubic hair and I pressed against the fingers, wanting them to continue, wanting them to touch me inside.

I wrapped my arms around Cherri’s shoulders and pulled her against me, needing the silk of her skin against mine. I ran fingernails along her back, slid them inside her panties again and this time I pushed, easing them down beyond the glass smooth bloom of her ass and she moved, encouraging me.

“I’m gonna fuck you,” Cherri whispered.

“Yes please.” Beyond restraint, beyond doubt.

Cherri grinned and kissed my chin and I knew the moment had arrived at last, her lips closing toward mine. Which was when we heard Mandy’s door open, stiff against the concrete floor like it had been all summer. We froze, listening. I reached past Cherri and picked up my watch: twenty-seven minutes after six. No kids left in the bunkhouse, only we three remaining in Eagle.

Cherri dropped one leg from my bed and slid out, tiptoed back to hers. I watched her the whole way, eating her body with my eyes. Before she got back into her own bed Cherri pulled her panties back up and slipped her t-shirt over her head. The toilet flushed. A tap ran. Bare feet sounded on the concrete outside, stopped. I glanced at Cherri, at the door, and pulled my own blanket over me.

Our door handle turned and Mandy peered in.

“I thought I heard you talking.” She came all the way in. Like us she wore only a thin cotton tank top and sleep shorts. Her dark red curls stuck out wayward as hell and her face had that vaguely crumpled expression that came from sleep. She came across to my bed and sat on the edge. Cherri sat up in bed, flicked fingers through her hair.

“We were saying it’s going to be strange next week when we can’t see each other anymore.”

“Yeah, I know.” Mandy leaned closer, large breasts moving inside her top, nipples showing through fine white cotton. She twisted sideways, facing along the bed, the movement drawing her shorts tight between her legs, outlining curves and creases. Mandy’s face flushed as she leaned even closer. “It’s like I’ve only started getting to know you both, and now we’re splitting up.” Her English accent had eroded over the summer, but she still sounded nothing like me or Cherri.

“You got anyone waiting back home?” Cherri asked. Her blanket had fallen to her waist and she leaned into the corner where her bed met the wall. Her nipples peaked visibly, her face glowed, and I guessed I looked the same. God, the pheromones in that small room had charged into overdrive. No wonder Mandy was acting oddly.

“There was someone… but we were never serious. I stopped writing. How about you, Cherri?”

“No-one special.” She spoke casually, but I caught the flicker of her eyes in my direction. Was I someone special for Cherri? Just the idea made me wetter, and I was already wet enough after what we’d done.

“Dani?” Mandy looked at me.

I shrugged. “Kind of. But this summer’s been so amazing it’s like that whole other world isn’t real anymore.”

“I know exactly what you mean.”

Cherri’s bed creaked as she lay back and pulled the covers up. “I guess we can probably get a couple of hours in if we try. I’m bushed. This is way too early for me. I’m a night bird, me.”

Mandy laughed. “Me too, usually.” She straightened up, stood. “I guess I’ll let you get some sleep.” She made no move to leave, stood at the side of my bed, her long, slightly plump body still. I tracked my eyes down over her breasts, along the curve of her belly to her thighs. When I glanced back up she stared back at me, a strange smile touching her lips.

I made a show of pulling my blankets up and she turned away. “See you guys at breakfast.”

“Sure,” Cherri said, rolling onto her side.

Mandy returned to her room, closing our door behind her. As soon as the latch caught Cherri rolled out of bed and picked up the single wooden chair from the base of her bed and angled it under the door handle. Then she turned and stripped her top off again, dropped her hands and slid her panties down so when she straightened up she was naked in front of me, unashamed.

“You still wanna do it, Dan?”

I swallowed and nodded. God, did I want to!

“Me too.” A tiny shiver ran along Cheri’s body and she took two short paces to the side of my bed.

I sat up, reached and ran my hand inside her leg from knee to thigh, stopped short of her pussy.

“Move over,” Cherri said.

I wriggled across so my back rested against the wall, twisted awkwardly and pulled my top over my head, my thick black hair drawn up to cover my face. I shook it aside to watch Cherri slip in beside me, not bothering with the covers. She came to me immediately, her arms slipping around me, her hot tiny body once more against mine.

“I think Mandy was up for joining in then.” Cherri suppressed a giggle. “I thought I was gonna get my first threesome. How about that, Dan, not only my first girl, but two of ’em”

“Yeah,” I said, attempting to ignore the tweak of jealousy that flared.

“But not right now,” she said, maybe hearing something in my voice. “Right now there’s only one girl I wanna fuck. If she hasn’t changed her mind.”

I pushed against Cherri’s shoulder, pushing her half onto her back, leaned over her. “Not changed my mind.”

Cherri grinned a Cherri grin and I leaned closer so my hair cascaded around her face, kept coming, not willing to compromise any more. I found her mouth with mine, angled my head slightly and kissed her. Yes, we’d kissed before, but those had mostly been friend kisses. This something different. Cherri’s lips pressed soft against mine. I parted my lips, exploring with my tongue and found her mouth open to my searching, her own tongue coming back, her mouth opening wider. It was so, so different to kissing Jack, so different to any kiss I’d ever experienced before and I instantly knew this was what I had been born to do, to kiss Cherri this way. To kiss her and more.

I grabbed Cherri’s waist and spun her round so now I was the one on top, a naked Cherri under me. I still wore panties and wanted to take them off but wasn’t as sure of myself as Cherri so made no move. Instead I held her face in my palms and leaned down and kissed her deeply.

“You don’t have to do this, Dan,” Cherri said, staring into my eyes as I came up for air.

I laughed, trying to keep my voice low, shook my head. “Wrong. I do have to do this. I have to do this so bad.”

Her mouth lifted on one side. “You do?”

“Oh God yeah…”

She lifted her head, trying to kiss me and I pulled back, not because I didn’t want to but because I wanted to tease. She came again, her stomach hardening between my thighs as she lifted up and I allowed her to touch my lips with hers. I’d waited for this all summer, and now we had finally arrived here I intended to give myself to her completely. Any guilt, any shame could wait, maybe forever, because this felt right… this felt perfect.

“You really want to do this, Dan?” Cherri asked again.

I nodded and kissed her back, kissed her hard and her mouth opened to my darting tongue. “I want to,” I said into her mouth, my words caught on her breath.

Cherri’s hands found my breasts, fondling them, lifting their weight.

“I wish I had tits like yours. You’re so beautiful.”

I shook my head. “Too big. You’ve got beautiful tits.”

“No, you have.”

“No–you have.”

We laughed and Mandy had to hear us, probably knowing exactly what we were doing but I didn’t care and I don’t think Cherri did either. She lifted off the bed and closed her mouth over a nipple, sucking hard, tongue circling the crimped nub, teeth nipping at the very peak and I arched my back, offering her permission to do anything she wanted.

She transferred her mouth to the other breast, continued to stroke the first. Then she slid both hands down to my hips and tucked her fingers inside the elastic of my panties.

“These have gotta come off.”

I nodded. “Gotta.”

She tugged.

I lifted myself from her and she pulled my panties down, revealing my sex to her eyes and I watched her staring at me, all shyness, all reservation gone. I angled myself one way then the other until I was naked and Cherri gripped my ass in her hands and pulled at me, trying to draw me along her body.

“No!” I gasped, becoming aware of what she wanted.

“Yes.”

“Oh God, Cherri, you don’t really want to do that, do you?”

“I have to taste you.”

“Oh God.”

“Please.”

“Oh Jesus.”

She couldn’t pull me to her mouth on her own, not if I didn’t want her to, but I slid along her belly, my thighs brushing her breasts, one of Cherri’s nipples trailing along the slit of my pussy which left a wet trail against her. I leaned forward and grabbed the bed rail and kept coming, staring down, wanting to discover what Cherri would do, angling my neck more as I came higher still, Cherri’s hands insistent on my ass. She wriggled down the bed and I lifted my right knee and placed it beside her ear, my left leg trapped under her arm but she could reach me now, my pussy inches from her mouth.

“You smell wonderful,” she whispered.

I reached back to find her sex with my fingers, reaching further, finding soft pubic hair and then wet heat between her legs. As my fingers parted her she lifted up and planted a tiny kiss directly onto my clitoris and I almost fainted away.

“Oh Dan, I want to taste you so fucking much baby.”

“Please.”

Her lips returned, tongue flicking against my belly, against my thigh, fingers moving down from my ass to brush in my pubic hair, her thumb rolling over my clitoris. I reached behind me and found Cherri’s, smaller but equally as engorged, and from the way she twitched equally as sensitive. Her mouth covered my pussy entirely, like it had covered my lips. Her tongue came out and slid along my slit, slid back, pressing, parting, and then she opened me and her tongue explored more deeply.

“Oh,” I said, once, astounded, shocked and aroused, arousal winning. Cherri’s thumb pressed against my clitoris, bringing me to the tipping point, hardly touched, but oh what touches. I tried to pull away.

“Mm,” Cherri mumbled.

“I’m gonna come,” I gasped. “Wait.”

“Mm-mm,” Cherri held me hard against her, wrapping her fingers around my waist, preventing my escape.

“Oh Cherri, stop, I’m gonna come so hard!”

“Mm.”

I couldn’t wait. My belly tingled, my pussy flamed, Cherri’s cheeks grew slick, wet with my juices and her own saliva and I ground against her face as the tide rushed through me, exploding along my spine. I twitched and shook against her, my feeble attempts at pleasuring Cherri forgotten as the most powerful climax I’d ever experienced roared through me. I cried out, my voice loud. Cherri pulled me down, her tongue reaching deep inside, her hands fire against my skin, her hair against my belly, her legs lifted to tangle against my feet and the world swam away and she sensed when I peaked, releasing the pressure, allowing me to roll away and collapse on my side gasping.

Cherri turned to face me as I slid down the bed, wriggled to bring her face level with mine, came in and kissed me and I tasted my pussy on her mouth, an odd sensation but turning me on, everything turning me on. I touched her breasts, her shoulders, her back.

“Your turn,” I said.

“You don’t need to. You can use your fingers if you want.”

“Uh-uh,” I shook my head.

“You sure?”

I nodded and slipped down to kiss her breast.

“Really sure?” Cherri lifted her head to watch me.

“I’m sure.”

Cherri’s mouth twitched up on one side. “Well, in that case.” She rolled on her back and parted her legs and I laughed.

“You hussy!”

“Me? It’s you wants to lick my pussy.”

“You make it sound so romantic.” But she was turning me on even more.

“Fuck romance, make me come.”

“I’d love to.” I reached down and touched myself, sensitive and ready again.

“Hey, turn round,” Cherri said.

I frowned. “I want to lick you.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, but turn round so I can do you again. I know you want me to.”

I lifted my legs, spun around until we lay head to toe, or rather, head to pussy, squirming and wriggling until we positioned ourselves, both on our sides, both with one leg raised. Cherri’s pink slit hovered inches from my face and I breathed her wonderful scent. Cherri would taste different, knowing how I tasted now, knowing Cherri would be sweeter, her scent hinting at the pleasure to come and I kissed her fine reddish pubes once before moving directly to her pussy. She tasted of nectar, of ambrosia, of everything I ever wanted and all I would ever need.

“Oh Dan, like that, baby,” Cherri mumbled, then her lips found me again, slower this time, and I wondered if she wanted fast or slow because she hadn’t come yet, and wondered if I was doing this thing right, all new to me, remembering how Cherri’s lips and tongue had explored me, recalling what I liked and doing that back to her and I think she approved because her hips ground against my face. She lifted my long thick hair and draped it over her waist so my hair covered half her body, splayed across her breasts and belly and shoulder.

I pulsed against her mouth, Cherri’s hands stroking my ass, parting me and touching my rear, no-one ever touching me on that place before, so sensitive and wicked I twitched and almost came again, Cherri sensing my readiness and pulling back.

“Make me come, Dan.”

I ran fingers along her legs, over her rounded butt, explored her like she had explored me and she allowed me to touch her in places I wasn’t meant to as my tongue explored inside her sweet slick walls and my lips flattened against her labia. She kissed me again, inserted two fingers inside me and used her tongue on my clitoris and I was no longer sure who did what to who, if my fingers touched myself or her, my tongue delved into her pussy or her mine, our bodies melting and becoming one, but always ourselves, doing this to each other, this wonderful thing we were making up on the spot, experimenting, testing, tasting.

Cherri’s belly pulsed against me in a regular rhythm, working herself to a pitch and I allowed myself to follow, pulsing against her, controlling my release this time, waiting for her, teasing until Cherri showed herself ready in the way she stiffened, in the way her thighs closed around my ears. I touched her between her pussy and her ass and she jerked and cried out. I let my own pleasure peak, my own orgasm mixing with hers, losing myself again, becoming Cherri.

Chapter 24

The summer wound down fast as soon as all the kids left showering hugs and tears and promises of undying friendship that would last until the start of class. A still hush fell over camp. I could have left at the same time, over half the other counselors did, but I wasn’t going to leave before Cherri. She and I hung out together the last week, and when I asked her why she wasn’t seeing Brian she said, “Huh, men. Who needs ’em?”

She made me wonder. After the barn neither of us came right out and said anything about what we did together in my narrow single bed every night. Everything so different, for me at least; I wasn’t sure about Cherri, hoped she felt the same.

Suddenly we had less than a week, and then only days. Half the counselors had stayed on, relaxing and enjoying camp even though the evenings were colder and some mornings when we walked down to breakfast–a simple affair now of cereal, toast and fruit because the cooks had departed–frost lay across the grass. September almost over, real life about to start up again but I wasn’t ready for summer to end, not ready for me and Cherri to end. My train left Bakersfield Monday afternoon. Thursday those of us remaining scoured the woods for deadfall and built a bonfire down on the shore. Late afternoon Jeff and Chrissy came down and, wonder of wonders, carried a crate of beer between them. They dumped it away from the fire, popped the caps off bottles and handed them round.

The fire was lit, the big barbecue too and the smell of wood smoke and cooking drifted over us all. My hair would stink all night but I didn’t care. Cherri and I sat together, drinking from the same bottle of beer and although everyone acted friendly they left us to ourselves. Even Jeff and Chrissy accepted what we’d become; maybe because no kids remained; maybe because we’d all changed over the summer. We sat on a coat on the grass and talked about after. It was the word of the evening, everyone talking about what they’d be doing after camp.

“What are you doing next, Dani?” Jeff asked when I went to the grill for a burger with cheese.

“College.”

“And Cherri?” He assumed I was as familiar with her plans as my own.

“She’s going to try and make it as a singer.”

“Yeah? Good for her. Tell her good luck from me.”

“I will.”

I wandered off, guilty because Jeff and Chrissy were so friendly tonight, trying not to think of what I had to do tomorrow, how to get Jack’s pictures back, weird talking to them both, knowing what I knew about them.

Walking back to our spot Mandy came up to me, unsteady on her feet, obvious she’d been taking advantage of the free beer.

“Dani. Hi. Wanted to say bye.”

“You’re not going tomorrow?”

“Early Monday. I’ve got a long flight from LAX.”

“You’re gonna have a long day.”

“Tell me. Fourteen hours with a stopover in New York. And when I get home I’ll be jet-lagged to buggery.”

I laughed, always amused when she unwittingly used an English phrase meaning something else over here. “Write me, won’t you?” We’d all exchanged addresses, I had over a dozen scribbled in back of my new notebook under the f-stop and speed notes. Writing her details under Cherri’s.

“Of course I will,” Mandy said. “I’m going to miss you both.”

Mandy came close and hugged me. Hugged me tight. Her big breasts flattened against mine, her mouth pecked my cheek then moved and kissed my mouth. I didn’t kiss back, but she wanted me to, and I was tempted, Mandy sexy the way slightly big girls sometimes are, comfortable with her body and over summer Cherri and I had worked out she wasn’t into men. She’d never been as explicit as tonight, but an undercurrent had always been around. Like me, the friend back home a smokescreen; although when I thought back Mandy never assigned a sex to her friend.

I felt wetness against my cheek and pulled back.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

She shook her head. “Nothing, Dani, nothing at all. I’m just going to miss you all so much. This summer has been… fucking awesome!” She flushed, the expletive the first time I’d ever heard her deliberately cuss. She grinned. “Oops.”

I laughed and hugged her, let my hand brush against her breast and she reddened even more and I wondered what the hell I was doing because I didn’t want to sleep with her, but I’d changed so much over the summer, like us all I guess. I’d arrived shy and uncertain, thinking I was one thing and now leaving knowing I was something else, not yet sure what to make of the revelation, not sure I wanted to be what I was. Cherri had changed me, but not just Cherri. I had changed myself. Something about the summer had loosened the internal ties to set my true nature free. I had discovered my locked up sensuality. Cherri had released something wilder I was still attempting to come to terms with, unsure if the wildness was a part of me or something responding to Cherri.

“If you ever get to England, you have to call me.” Mandy drew me back from my thoughts. A good thing.

“I will.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

I hugged her, kissed her again, this time I the one leading. Mandy’s lips were sweet, her mouth tasting of mint and beer and when her lips parted I let my tongue explore a little. I pulled away before things went too far and Mandy muttered that I really did have to call her and as I walked back to find Cherri I wondered if I would. The idea excited me, glad Cherri would be sharing my bed tonight because once more wetness formed between my legs and my nipples tingled. I wondered could a girl suffer dehydration from over-arousal?

Cherri was where I’d left her. I passed on Jeff’s wishes, handed her half the burger and she handed me a fresh bottle of beer.

“I saw Mandy,” I said, sitting down beside Cherri. “She’s leaving first thing.”

“I like Mandy.” Cherri’s words slurred a little and she must have drunk more beer while I’d been away.

“Me too.”

“Should’a had a threesome, would’ve been cool.”

A week before I’d have been embarrassed, the old Dani Walker. “Too late now.”

“Probably.”

I glanced at Cherri, face splashed by firelight, a glint in her eye that might have been wickedness or more likely only firelight.

“You don’t mean that.”

“No?” She took a long pull of beer.

“How come you’re the sexual predator all of a sudden?”

“I’m not.”

“You want me and you to fuck Mandy, and you’re not a predator?”

“How d’you know I meant me and you?”

I pushed her with my elbow and she rolled sideways.

“Hey, watch the beer.” She held her bottle upright even though she lay on her side. I reached over and pulled her upright, glanced around and kissed her quickly while no-one was looking.

“Besides,” Cherri said as our lips broke, “it’s only predatory if she doesn’t want us. And Mandy wants us. You know she does.”

The ache between my legs grew more insistent, Cherri dropping images into my mind, the images forming and growing like fractals. I swallowed beer so I didn’t have to say anything, but Cherri was on the case now.

“I bet she’s hot in the sack.”

“You think?”

“English girls. College educated. Everyone knows they’re hot.”

I laughed. “Christ, Cherri, you sure can generalize.”

She laughed. “It’s true! I bet she’s fuckin’ hot. Come on Dan, let’s fuck her tonight.”

“It’s you I… want.” I’d almost gone and said love.

“Me too babe. I wouldn’t fuck her on my own, only with you. But you want to, don’t you? Come on, I know you do.”

I shrugged. “I guess she is hot.”

Cherri roared with laughter, drawing glances from around the fire and I poked her with my elbow again but she was ready this time and stayed upright.

“Are we gonna do it then?”

“What if she doesn’t want to?”

Cherri laughed again, covering her mouth this time. “You’re hot for her, Dan, I know you are. Okay. I’ll take the lead, let’s see what happens.”

I drank my beer, not trusting myself to speak. On the far side of the fire Greg argued with Sara. They’d been a constant throughout summer, something I was grateful for because without Sara Greg would have been even more antagonistic. Now they were falling out. I watched as they stood face to face, their body language obvious, mouths working as they argued and then Sara said something and slapped Greg’s face. As she spun away he grabbed for her, caught her arm and I thought Greg might hit Sara but he only hissed something in her ear and let go. Sara’s head dropped. She turned slowly, moved away, and Greg straightened his shoulders, a smile playing on his handsome mouth. He turned and stared across the fire directly at me and the smile grew to a grin. I turned away, not wanting him to know I’d been watching.

***

Around eleven the fire had burned down to embers, the barbecue coals stopped glowing and white ash caught in the wind and eddied up from the grill. The night grew cold, another frost coming and I stood and offered a hand to help Cherri stand.

“We still on?” she asked as we started up the track to our cabin.

I walked with my hands in my pockets, cold now. “I guess.” I hardly recognized myself any longer, but I liked the new me, liked being able to say what I thought, liked not being timid.

“God, I need to pee like fuck.” Cherri ran ahead into the dark and I laughed.

“You need to get better control of your bladder,” I called after her.

“I’m only small,” she called back, her voice faint.

I slowed my pace, enjoying the darkness, the quiet night around me. Wind soughed faintly in the tree tops. Small waves lapped on the lake shore. Scattered lights shone from the cabins still occupied. I stopped and turned back, gazing down over the camp, arms hugged around myself to retain a little warmth. I’d miss this place, but anticipating college, new experiences, new chances to make a place for myself in the world, wondering if a place existed for Cherri too. We couldn’t just end. I felt so deeply about her–loved her, believed she loved me–this couldn’t be the end for us.

I grinned, shocked and excited, experiencing a sensation which had been coming increasingly to me the last few weeks, a sense of free-falling, of letting go. The old Dani would have been scared to lose control. The new one relished it.

Lights came on in the Simmons’s place and my stomach turned over, remembering something else we needed to work out, and fast, tomorrow.

I shivered and turned back just as something big came out of the darkness and barreled into me. I flew through the air and landed hard on my side, knocking most of the breath from me. Whatever hit me followed through and landed on top. I panicked, scared a bear or a cougar had come from the woods, drawn by the scent of barbecue, hungry and ready for meat. But it wasn’t an animal, what attacked me was worse than an animal, it was Greg.

“Hey, Dani… ready to say goodbye?”

I twisted round and swung my hand to slap him but he caught my wrist easily, pushed my arm back onto the damp grass.

“You want me, Dani. Don’t pretend you forgot how good we were together. I still think about you, I think about you all the time.”

“Let. Me. Go.” I wriggled, grunting each separate word out.

Greg laughed. “I love when you pretend this way. Really turns me on. Turns you on too, doesn’t it? Let’s get these clothes off you.” He grabbed my other wrist, holding both in one big hand, the other unbuttoning the front of my shirt, not trying to be gentle, buttons popping and cotton tearing, cold night air against my chest and belly. Greg grabbed a breast and squeezed painfully.

I took a lungful of air.

“Don’t scream, Dani. Don’t even think about screaming.”

I let most of the air out. “Or what?” This more violent than the first time Greg raped me, but I was a different person now. I’d be putting up a lot more fight this time.

“Be a shame to mess up your pretty face, but I will if you scream.”

“Fuck you!”

“Yeah, exactly. How rough you want me to be, Dani?”

I lifted my knee but despite his drunkenness Greg reacted too fast and rolled aside. Somehow he managed to keep hold of my wrists but my legs worked free and I tried another kick, caught him on the shin and he grunted.

“Bitch.” He slapped me. Not on the face, on the breast, hurting even more than if he’d hit my cheek. Still grasping my wrists Greg used his free hand to unzip his pants, working them awkwardly down his thighs. His cock sprang out hard and ready and he walked on his knees so it lay close to my face. He worked on the buttons of my pants, tugged the zipper down and pulled at them but I pressed my butt against the grass and he couldn’t expose me further without releasing my wrists. We stayed that way for a moment, Greg obviously struggling with what to do next and I wriggled harder, one hand starting to work free.

Greg stopped struggling with my pants and grabbed tighter around my wrists, my break for freedom forestalled. He shuffled closer, the glistening head of his cock brushing against my cheek and I turned my head away.

“No, no, no. You want this. Open up, Dani.”

“You put that anywhere near my mouth and I’ll bite it off.”

Greg chuckled. “Playing rough, yeah, you like playing rough don’t you?” He rocked his hips, his cock sliding across my cheek, thigh pressing against my neck and the smell of his arousal, rank and sharp, made me want to throw up. A fleeting image of Jack arced through my mind, of what his cock might feel and taste like in my mouth, of how I wanted that, of how I did not want this, determined Greg wasn’t going to humiliate me as he had before. I flung myself from side to side, frantic now to break free, Greg’s cock jabbing into my eye socket, tangling through my hair but I kept fighting and he had to use both hands now to hold my arms, had to move away and use his legs to pin me down.

I couldn’t escape.

I went still, breathing hard, Greg’s chest heaving above me.

“My, my, you’ve turned into a wildcat. I might just have to knock you out again.”

I spat in his face.

“Again,” he said, and I almost did until I realized that was exactly what he wanted.

“Get off me!”

Greg laughed. “Or what?”

I drew a lungful of air again and Greg released one wrist and cupped his hand over my nose and mouth. I tried to scream around his palm but the sound emerged muffled. I tried to bite his hand but he moved away, brought it back before I could call out. He put his weight behind his arm, pressing down painfully, my chin pushed sideways, nose flattened and mouth closed, blocking off all airways. My chest heaved, craving oxygen, and I stared up as realization dawned in Greg’s eyes of what he was doing, expecting the pressure to ease as soon as he saw I couldn’t breathe but instead he hunched over, adding more weight and if I could I would have screamed in agony at the pain lancing through my face.

“Now who’s in charge?”

Greg began to move against me, his stiff cock rubbing along my belly. My chest heaved, fighting for air, but none came. Greg watched me closely as I fought, stared into my eyes, trying to gauge when I might pass out. The pain began to ease, not because he let up but because my body started shutting down. Tingling in my fingers and toes bled inward along my arms. The dark night sparked with lights but they were inside my head. Greg spoke again, still humping against me, but his words came from a distance, making no sense and I grew warm, the tingling reaching my shoulders and hips, moving on, coming to still my heart and I should have been afraid but nothing seemed worth the effort anymore. I wondered if Greg would rape me after I was dead.

A flare of light haloed Greg’s short hair then faded. His face lit up as though illuminated and I stared at him, watching his eyes fade, fade away from me, darkness coming from the edge of my vision, spiraling down, taking me with it. A loud bong sounded, like the dull clang of a bell and I wanted to laugh because the bell tolled for me, calling me to the other side, sad because so much remained I wanted to do; I hadn’t even gotten to kiss Mandy’s plentiful breasts, touched her ample belly and thighs. I would never get to kiss Cherri again, and at the thought tears sprang into my eyes.

The pressure had gone now. I stared up at the sky, stars framed between moving treetops, watching as lights crossed the darkness and voices spoke distantly.

“I think you’ve killed him…” Sounded like Cherri, and I wondered if an afterlife existed, if I could stay around and watch the girl I loved more than anything in the world. Maybe that would be enough.

“I don’t think so. I didn’t hit him so hard.”

The ground beneath was cold and I shifted, trying to get comfortable. No point being dead if you couldn’t get comfortable.

“She’s coming round.”

Arms reached underneath me, lifting, and I fought them off. Leave me in peace, let me lie here and die in peace.

“Dani, get up.”

The hands on me strong, fear coursing through me Greg was renewing his attack and I lunged out, hit something soft.

“Oof.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Been hit a lot harder on the hockey field.”

“Let’s get her inside.”

And all of a sudden I was back, sitting up on the hillside, my head spinning, chin and mouth sore from Greg’s hand and I pushed aside the arms of Cherri and Mandy trying to help me stand.

“I’m alright.” I rolled onto my knees, worked my way to my feet. I swayed once, managed to stay upright.

Cherri took one arm, Mandy the other, supporting me. I looked around but no Greg. I turned and he lay flat on his back, eyes closed. I stared at him, waiting. His chest rose, fell.

“He’s alive.”

“I hope so,” Mandy said.

“She hit him with a two by four,” Cherri said, and giggled. Mandy joined in and after a moment so did I.

“His head sounded like a bell.”

“Did, didn’t it?” Mandy said.

“What are we going to do with him?”

“Leave him where he is,” Cherri said.

“What if he freezes? He could be dead by morning.”

“And you’d care?”

“No. Yes. If he’s dead someone’s gonna ask how he got that bump on his head.”

Cherri sighed. “You’re too soft.”

“Help me,” Mandy said, bending over and lifting Greg under his arms. She raised him easily, a big girl, muscle under the padding. Cherri went round to help but made hardly any difference. She was tough, but not strong like Mandy. I joined them and between us we dragged him to an empty cabin. Cherri left me and Mandy supporting Greg and opened the door. We dragged him in, not caring when his head hit the door frame, dropped him onto a lower bunk. The bedding had been stripped from the bunks and he lay on the bare springs.

“Roll him on his side in case he throws up,” Mandy said.

We did as she said, used two pillows from the pile in the corner to prop him up. He lay with his pants around his knees, cock no longer hard.

Cherri leaned in under the top bunk and tugged at his pants.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I said.

“Let’s strip him. Throw his clothes in the lake.”

Mandy grinned. “Yeah.” She bent to join in and after a moment I laughed and popped all his buttons, deliberately tearing them loose.

When Greg was naked we rolled him back on his side and propped him back up.

Cherri held his clothes in her arms and we all three of us stood watching him.

“I guess he’ll live,” I said.

“Worse luck,” Cherri said.

“Don’t move, girls,” Mandy said and disappeared into the corridor. She returned after thirty seconds with a toilet brush.

“What are you… oh, that’s so gross!” Cherri said, but her hand went to her mouth to stifle a giggle.

We turned and left, leaving the lights on.

“Thanks, you two,” I said as we walked back to our cabin, arms linked together.

“It’s Mandy you need to thank,” Cherri said. “I’d fallen asleep and she came in to see if…” Cherri stopped, glanced at the bigger girl. “I’m not sure why you came in, Mandy.”

Mandy flushed. “I wanted to say goodbye.”

I grinned, completely recovered. “We want to say goodbye to you too, sweetheart.”

Cherri glanced at me.

“You do?” Mandy said.

I nodded. “If that’s alright?”

Mandy nodded back. “I’d like that. Like that a lot”

Chapter 25

Mandy’s body was stunning, Rubinesque, skin soft as velvet beneath our fingers as Cherri and I slowly removed her clothing. We stood together in Mandy’s room, an unspoken agreement between Cherri and I that our room was reserved for us. Mandy stood passive, allowing us to uncover her. When I drew her sweatshirt up she raised her arms and as her shoulders appeared I kissed them, kissed beneath them, the skin of her armpits smoothly shaved, smelling faintly of powder. Cherri drew her joggers down and Mandy stepped from them. I touched her breasts, large and overflowing, her body ripe like a peach, succulent. She smelled of firesmoke and sweat and soap. I moved around behind her, ran my hands along her back, down over her wide hips, tracing my fingers over her full ass and back up. I worked the catch on her bra and it released with a snap, the weight of her breasts dropping and I reached around and drew the cups of her bra clear, dropped it and returned my hands, cupping her, overflowing my palms, her nipples large and round, coming stiff to my touch. I slid around, kissing her neck, her chin, kissing her mouth. Mandy was shorter than I by a few inches, but still towered over Cherri who stood next to me. Cherri’s hands came to my shirt, undid the remaining buttons and slid it from my shoulders. I kissed Mandy’s bottom lip, her eyelids which had fluttered closed.

Cherri unclipped my bra and I pressed my breasts against Mandy’s, rotating my hips against hers. Cherri removed her own blouse, bra-less beneath and Mandy opened her eyes and touched Cherri’s breasts. I wasn’t sure whether to expect jealousy or what, but this was only make-believe, a fantasy all three of us were living out, my life turned round so much in such a short time. It was the most natural thing in the world to be here in this small room with these two beautiful, sexy women, removing each other’s clothes, touching and kissing and fondling.

Cherri let her skirt drop and bent to slip her panties off. She pressed herself against Mandy’s hip, pushed her hand down the front of Mandy’s panties and suddenly Mandy gasped and grabbed Cherri’s hand.

“No!”

Cherri frowned. I stopped kissing Mandy’s fat nipples.

“No, don’t stop. I mean… don’t go anywhere!” Mandy dashed from the room. I glanced at Cherri, who shrugged, so beautiful, so wonderful.

“Wanna make out?” she asked, her mouth turning up on one side.

I sat on the side of the bed and tugged my pants off, slipped out of my panties and Cherri came and sat on my lap, snaking her arms around my neck and kissing me deeply. Her stiff little nipples pressed against mine, her hand cupping the back of my head as her tongue flickered into my mouth. She pulsed softly against me, her fine pubic hair brushing my belly.

“You started without me.” Mandy came back, still wearing her panties, a stupidly large damp patch staining the crotch.

“Just keeping Dan warm for you,” Cherri said. “Where did you go to? Did you need to pee?”

Mandy shook her head, shy now, standing back from us, not sure how to proceed. Her abundant breasts swayed as she breathed, the areolae dark brown, the nipples pinker but still dark, each pointing out and up as her breasts separated. Her belly showed a delightful rounding, slipping down to a nipped waist.

“Come here, baby, and tell us what was so urgent.” Cherri reached out with her hand and after a moment Mandy took three paces across and slipped her hand into Cherri’s. Cherri drew her in, pulling her against us and I slipped aside and Mandy lay on the bed. Cherri kneeled on one side and I kneeled on the other. I kissed Mandy’s breasts and Cherri kissed her belly, went back to removing her panties and this time Mandy offered no resistance.

“Oh,” Cherri said.

“Is it okay?” Mandy asked.

“It’s beautiful.”

I glanced down, my mouth full of nipple. Mandy’s pubic mound was completely free of hair, her entire pubic area shaved clean.

“I…” Mandy started, gasped as I nipped my teeth against her nipple. “Back home I shave every day. I’ve got a girlfriend and we both… you know, we both shave. We like the way it feels.”

“Wow,” Cherri breathed, and started planting tiny kisses all over the smooth skin, working her way slowly in and down.

“I haven’t done it since I came here. I didn’t think… anything like this might happen…”

“You hoped?” I whispered into her ear, kissed the soft down behind her neck.

“I didn’t dare hope.”

Mandy was responding, her hands finding my breasts. She pulled me toward her, wanting to tease my nipples with her tongue and I moved across, wanting that too. She gasped as Cherri’s tongue finally achieved its target. I listened to the tiny lapping sounds, almost like a cat drinking milk. I wanted to see what Mandy tasted like, wanted to discover how her pussy felt free of all hair. I let her play with my breasts, Mandy pulling me, wanting me to come higher and I stood and straddled the bed, presenting myself to her insistent tongue.

“Sorry about the hair,” I said, grasping my fingers in her dark red mane.

“Nn-nn-nn-hnnn.”

“Yeah,” Cherri said, coming up for air, “She’s a hairy minx, ain’t she?”

“I like it,” Mandy said, her mouth briefly coming away from my pussy. I wanted her touch back, her lips and tongue different to Cherri’s, the excitement of what we were doing arousing me to fever pitch. A week ago I’d never even kissed another girl. A day ago I’d not kissed a pussy, and now here we were the three of us pleasuring each other, the illicit nature making me tremble, the trembling turning into a shaking I couldn’t halt.

“Oh my God, Dan, you’re coming!” Cherri slid up behind me, slipping her arms around to cup my breasts, grinding herself against my ass.

“No I’m not,” I said as an enormous climax tore through me. Cherri laughed against my neck. Mandy pulled me down hard onto her mouth and forced her tongue deep inside.

“Fuck her mouth,” Cherri whispered in my ear, kissing me.

I peaked, my body jerking uncontrollably, and when it passed I slumped back, half hanging off the narrow cot.

“Mandy’s turn,” Cherri said.

I nodded, pulling myself up.

“I’m gonna fuck you,” Cherri said, straddling Mandy, scissoring her legs between the larger girl’s, pressing her red-gold pubic hair against Mandy’s shaven mound.

“Oh God yes, I like that!” Mandy groaned.

I slid to one side, returning to her breasts, so bountiful, so beautiful.

“Me too,” Cherri said.

I wanted her to do that to me too, later, wanted her to press against me, pussy to pussy, grinding into me, fucking me.

They rode against each other, sucking damp sounds rising from their joining, the scent of sex thick in the air, the taste of flesh in my mouth, hands in my hair and on my body, Mandy’s hands, Cherri’s hands, my own hands pleasuring myself and them, I rammed my fingers down where they joined, pushed hard, two fingers slipping inside Cherri, my thumb inside Mandy, amazed at how different the two of them were, Mandy wider than Cherri, her labia full, the skin slick and smooth, my fist soaked by the juices leaking out of each as they continued to grind against each other. Cherri’s mouth hung open, her eyes glazing as she worked herself hard. Mandy’s head rolled from side to side, her breasts shaking and swaying as she pumped against Cherri.

Mandy came first, shuddering beneath my hand, her large body jerking and pulling into itself. She whimpered, her mouth searching and finding mine, her tongue wild in my mouth as Cherri continued to fuck her. I pulled my hand free of their joining, smeared a mixture of their juices over Mandy’s breast and she grasped my wrist and pulled my fingers up, sucked, licking the slick juice from them.

Cherri gasped, almost coming, and pulled away.

“Dan, you fuck her.”

She dragged me, pulling me down and I slipped one long leg beneath Mandy, who lifted her ass to let my leg slide beneath, pressed my aching pussy against hers, heat radiating from her and I ground down, losing myself in the sudden ecstasy. I lifted myself up and Mandy came to meet me, our arms tangling, breasts touching, belly to belly, mouth to mouth. Cherri knelt beside the bed touching each of us, touching herself, kissing my ear, kissing Mandy’s neck and back as I rode her hard, sudden fire lighting inside me once more, spreading and blooming, washing deep through me and Mandy let a gasp escape her each time we rocked against each other, crying out, “ah… ah… ah…” as I fucked her, still crying out when my mouth covered hers, grunting into my mouth, her breath filling my lungs, our bodies melting into one and I cried out as a second climax hit me, sudden and overwhelming, bit against Mandy’s shoulder and she matched me thrust for thrust, cry for cry until we slumped apart, sated and exhausted.

Cherri kissed Mandy’s breasts, her belly, stroked her fingers over her body and Mandy caught Cherri’s wrist and said, “Mercy, please. I need to sleep.”

Cherri kissed her. I rolled over and kissed them both.

Mandy drifted, eyes closing, breath slowing. We remained a moment longer, stroking her smooth opulent body until she drifted completely, then drew the blankets up over her nakedness and padded naked ourselves back to our room.

Cherri slid against me in my bed. “I haven’t come yet.”

I kissed her. “Want me to make you come?”

“Please.” She kissed back.

“I want to do the same to you. Like we just did to Mandy.”

“Please,” she said again.

“I lo-” I stopped myself, pushed Cherri onto her back and kissed her deeply between her legs, drawing her essence back against my tongue, sliding my legs between hers, pressing myself to her.

“You can say it, Dan,” Cherri said.

I kissed her foot, pretended I didn’t know what she meant. Cherri sat up, reached out and drew me against her, her slim body cradled against mine, our hips rocking against each other, the excitement building inside me again. I kissed her, leaning down to reach her mouth and she spoke against my lips, her words catching against my tongue, “I want you to say it, Dan.”

“I can’t.” I spoke into her mouth.

“Yes, you can.”

“No. I don’t know. Oh Cherri.”

“Fuck me and say it.”

“Uh…”

Sweat slicked us both, juices sucked and lubricated our joining, mine and Cherri’s pubic hair slick with our emissions.

“Oh God, Dan, do me like that.”

I was close, but I needed Cherri to come first, worked her hard, touched her breasts and belly, kissed her neck and mouth and breasts, pulled her nipples, squeezed her breasts, pulling her tight against me, rocking at last, my head buried against her neck, her arms around my waist as she grunted and started to tremble.

“Say it now...”

“I love you,” I whispered against her ear and she bucked.

“Oh fuck Dan, yes… yes!”

“I love you so much.” As Cherri groaned and jerked I finally allowed myself to peak, releasing the pent up flood that poured out of me, seeming to soak our joining even more and I waited… waited… waited for Cherri to say it back… but she only sighed and flopped away from me, a smile on her perfect mouth, her perfect breasts heaving, her perfect belly rippled by aftershocks.

Chapter 26

I tried getting up enough courage to do what I had to do. Cherri was in the cabin packing her things, Brian driving home to San Jose late afternoon said he could drop Cherri in Fresno. She joked, said “Take me all the way with you, I don’t wanna go home,” and they laughed. Mandy had changed toward us this morning, but it hadn’t been awkward. So many changes this summer, I could barely cope with them, seemed to be balancing on a narrow beam crossing from who I was to who I was becoming, unsure if I would make it all the way to the other side before I slipped and fell.

I walked along the lakeshore, idly trending north, thinking about visiting the barn one final time when I realized this was all displacement activity. I couldn’t leave Jack’s pictures with Jeff Simmons, had to find some way of getting them back, but I was scared, as usual, putting off action. I turned round and walked fast back to the cabin. Cherri was off somewhere with Brian, but Mandy was still around and came through to my room, sat beside me on the bed and I remembered her pale, fulsome body and smiled.

Mandy took my hand, winding her fingers through mine.

“You’ll miss Cherri, won’t you.”

I nodded.

“Me too. She’s amazing.”

“She is that. She surely is that.”

“You hear what happened when they discovered Greg?”

I laughed. “D’you think he’ll be coming back next year?”

“What about you?”

“Next year? I guess.” I hadn’t made a decision one way or the other. I assumed I’d be returning, but after what I was planning to do, perhaps not.

“I’m coming back,” Mandy said.

“You are?”

“Sure. I’ve had the best summer ever. The best.”

I smiled, leaned over and kissed her lips. No, I hadn’t forgotten Cherri already, but Cherri wasn’t here, I’d changed so much, and Mandy was right here next to me.

“When are you leaving?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

“Tomorrow.”

“Me too.”

Mandy nodded.

“Something I got to do, but you’ll be around later?”

“Sure.”

“You wanna hang out?”

“Sure.”

I kissed Mandy again, left her sitting on my bed, voluptuous English girl I was planning to get naked with tonight and as I walked down the hill I wondered how I’d managed to change so much. I even walked differently, hips swinging, breasts mobile, limbs tingling with a certainty I’d always lacked.

I called at the office, leaned against the door as Chrissy Simmons worked at putting figures in a ledger. Summer camp accounts, I guessed.

“Thanks for this summer, Dani.” She leaned back and put her hands behind her head and I pictured her as she had been that night, naked and sweaty, sandwiched between Greg and Jeff, a willing and eager participant. “You had a good time?”

“Yeah, good.”

“I wanted to ask, are you coming back next year?”

“I want to.”

“The coordinator job’s yours if you do. Alan’s not coming back, and you’ve done a great job.”

“Thanks.”

“No. Thank you.” She smiled, pretty and contained, showing a false front to the world.

“Is Jeff around? I wanted to say goodbye.”

“He’s taken some of the stragglers into town. You’re leaving tomorrow, aren’t you?”

“Staying on till the bitter end.”

Chrissy laughed. “You need to be here in January to experience the bitter end.”

“I bet it’s beautiful.”

“Beautifully cold. Sorry, I need to get back to this Dani. We’ll catch you tonight. Come round the house, Jeff should be back by five.”

“Sure, I might do that.” No way!

Now was my chance. I strolled to the river and crossed the wooden bridge, walked on into the woods where Cherri and I had gone so often that summer, climbing the steeper hillside through trees to the back of Jeff and Chrissy’s house. Just like last time the back door was unlocked. I’d be surprised if they ever locked it.

The house was silent and empty and I moved fast before my courage departed. Up the stairs and along the corridor, never been here before but knowing the way from watching their movements. The bed was made up, the room smelling of polish, and soap from the shower room along the hall.

I went around the bed and opened the drawer on Jeff’s nightstand. The folder of pictures was pushed down under some magazines. Playboy. Penthouse. Finally the pictures of Sara. I pulled the folder out and flipped through the prints, making sure I had everything. I dropped the folder on the bed and reached behind me into the fish pocket of my vest, pulled out another envelope.

I slipped the single print onto my hand. Ten by eight, black and white, a great composition, and I thought back to the last afternoon I’d been inside their house, light filling the living room almost as if everything had been planned for a photo-shoot. Nothing in the photograph was open to interpretation.

Chrissy Simmons lay against her large couch, legs stretched out while Sara buried her face between Chrissy’s legs. Jeff was leaning forward, kissing her, on his hands and knees beside Sara, one hand fondling her breast. Greg knelt behind Jeff, one hand pressed on the older man’s waist, his cock buried in Jeff Simmons’ ass. Greg fondled Sara, his free hand between her legs, the image a stark testament to their depravity, failing to raise even the smallest arousal within me.

Cherri knew nothing about these pictures. I’d had them two weeks after coming to the house alone one afternoon, something drawing me back, guilt and shame mixing with excitement. But instead of finding Jeff and Chrissy I discovered the reason Greg had been so cocky all summer, the secret I had sensed but not known.

Strangely, I felt sympathy for Chrissy and Jeff, because Greg and Sara were beyond evil, demons who lured people in with sweet words and sweet temptation before seducing them beyond depravity. Possibly Jeff and Chrissy were willing participants to begin with, but I knew how Greg worked, how deceptive he could be, how difficult to resist until too late.

I slid the pictures of Sara back into my envelope, put my single picture in Jeff’s folder and replaced it in the nightstand. I didn’t need to see his face when he discovered the change. He’d know where the picture came from, know who’d taken it. No chance I’d be invited back next year now.

As I closed the drawer and turned to leave voices sounded from below. My heart hammered. Chrissy couldn’t be back already? But it was her voice, and another. Greg’s.

“… be back for hours… no, not here, upstairs…”

A deep laugh followed by steps on the bare wooden stair treads.

I spun round. The bathroom? No, nowhere to hide if they went in. Too late to try another room along the hallway. Only place was a closet or under the bed. Cliche! I dropped to my knees to discover the bed was too low, what space existed filled with boxes. I opened the first closet and closed it. Chrissy’s. Went to the next and pushed in through hanging shirts and pants and coats and closed the door just as they came into the room. I had a narrow view between a fleece and a pair of hiking pants.

Chrissy entered the room, my interrupted view of her figure shattered by the slatted door. Greg followed close behind, and when Chrissy stopped he reached for her.

“Not now, Greg.”

He scowled. “Show me.” Impatient. He and Sara had stayed on even after what we’d done to him, as if wanting to taunt us with his presence. I don’t know what he’d told Jeff and Chrissy, obviously not implicating us or there’d have been consequences.

“In the nightstand.” Chrissy turned away from him, sat on the edge of the bed, arms crossed.

Greg went to Jeff’s side of the bed, pulled open the drawer. He lifted out a magazine and laughed. “A little bedtime reading?”

“Get on with it.”

I frowned, things not as friendly between Chrissy and Greg as they had been.

Greg reached back into the drawer and pulled out the buff folder. His back was to me so I couldn’t see his reaction, but his shoulders hunched and he glanced at Chrissy.

“What the hell is this?” He threw the single print onto the bed.

“Take them and go.”

“This isn’t what I want.”

Chrissy turned, looked at the photograph. Her mouth opened, her eyes widening.

“Who did this?” Greg asked again. “Who the hell took this? Are you trying to blackmail me, Chrissy?”

She shook her head. “I’ve never seen that before. I’ve no idea-”

“Did you get Dani to sneak in and take this? How many others has she got? Fuck, I really will kill her this time.”

“Dani has nothing to do…” Chrissy’s voice tailed off, the working of her mind clear in the changing expression on her face. True, she had no proof I’d taken the picture, but the options were limited and certainty entered her eyes. “When…”

“It’s pretty fucking obvious when. What I want to know is how many others she has. You should be worried about that as well. A hell of a lot more worried than me. You’ve got a great setup here, but if this got out…”

“Things weren’t meant to go this far.” Chrissy dropped her head, staring at the floor.

“As I recall you and Jeff started this. Me and Sara are the poor seduced teenagers. Who d’you think people will believe?”

“We didn’t mean-”

“Fuck it. I’m going to get the rest of these pictures. You do what you want, but I’m not going to let that cunt blackmail me.” Greg strode for the door. Chrissy rose, reaching for his arm as he passed but he pulled away and ran from the room. Chrissy dropped back to the bed, lowered her head again.

She sat on the edge of the bed for an age. I needed her to be gone, needed a chance to escape and get rid of the pictures. I don’t know how long I would have remained trapped if a harsh buzzing sound hadn’t made Chrissy jump.

She reached into her jeans and pulled out a small walkie-talkie, pressed a button on the side.

“Coming past Boulder Creek. Home in ten minutes.” Jeff’s voice emerged, faint and crackled with static.

“Something’s happened. Get her fast. We need to talk.”

“Where are you?”

“At home.”

“Meet me at the office. I’ll get back as soon as I can.”

“Be careful.”

Chrissy stood and tucked the radio back into her jeans, pain and confusion on her face. I was almost sorry for her, but Greg, damn him, had been right, they’d brought this on themselves. Couldn’t keep it in their pants. Couldn’t keep their hands off the staff.

As soon as I was alone I eased myself out, stretching aching legs. I hesitated at the top of the stairs, listening, but the house was silent. Returning to my cabin was out of the question. Greg would be waiting for me. I needed to get rid of the pictures. All of the pictures.

I ran to the photography classroom, unlocked the door and went into the small storage space at the back. I had found a new hiding place, one no-one would discover. I pushed a filing cabinet sideways, knelt and slipped a finger into a knot in the wood floor and tugged. The plank came out with a squeal and I reached in, pulled out a thick package. All the other photographs Cherri and I had taken of Jeff and Chrissy, Jeff and Chrissy and Greg and Sara. All the pictures I had taken of Cherri. The ones she had taken of me. The ones of Jack, of Brian, of us all. The guilty secrets of summer, all wrapped in black plastic. Dear god, what had I been thinking of?

I slipped the floorboard back into place and left, ran along the lakeshore watching for Greg or Sara. By now Jeff would be back, and he and Chrissy might take up the hunt as well. Only one place I could think to go. North through the woods to my place of refuge.

***

The barn door was pushed to one side when I came along the old track. Inside I called out, “Cherri, are you here?”

I heard movement, a thump on the boards above. Cherri’s head and shoulders appeared at the top of the ladder. As far as I could tell she wore no top.

“What are you doing here, Dan?”

“This is where I come.” Anger flared. This was my place, always had been, all summer long. I had discovered the barn. I had made it special.

“Brian’s with me.” Cherri stared down, her face showing no emotion, then something sparked in her eyes and her mouth lifted on one side. “You wanna come up?”

“I’m in trouble.”

Cherri laughed. “No. Not trouble. Not if you don’t want.”

That Cherri. “I got the pictures, but Chrissy and Jeff know I’ve got them. So does Greg. He…” I shook my head. This was so fucked up.

“Wait up.” Cherri disappeared. More muffled sounds then Cherri returned and descended the ladder, straw caught in her hair. A moment later Brian appeared above her and followed.

“I need to destroy these.” I held the thick plastic-wrapped bundle out. “I need to burn them.”

“You can’t. Not our pictures, Dan.”

“What pictures? Those you took that day we were all here?” Brian didn’t know about our secret liaisons, the afternoons in the barn, evenings in the forest with late sunlight angling through the trees, dusted beams highlighting a naked Cherri. And… when on occasion Cherri took the camera and I acted as a model for her… those pictures of me. I didn’t want any of them becoming public. Everything, all the beautiful, erotic, wonderful pictures held in my hand had to be destroyed. The magic of summer had evaporated in those moments I crouched in the back of Jeff’s closet, realizing what I’d done.

“I’ve got to burn them!”

“No…” Cherri shook her head, stepping closer, the smell of sex from her reaching me. Brian stood to one side, a spectator, as he had been a spectator all summer, he and Jack, good guys, great guys, but the summer had always been about me and Cherri. For me, anyway. Maybe not for Cherri. Even through my panic and fear jealousy flared, because Cherri had come to our place with Brian, not with me.

“I have to, Cherri,” I said, my voice softening because I knew what she was experiencing. I wanted to keep these memories too, wanted to carry them away with me, take them out and remind myself of what the summer had really been about. I needed these, but couldn’t have them. “Help me, Brian. If Cherri won’t, you have to help me.”

Cherri took another pace, almost touching me.

“Is this what you want, Dan?”

“It’s not what I want. It’s what I have to do.”

Cherri turned away, held out her hand. “Matches.”

Brian burrowed into his jeans pocket. I noticed in his hurry the brass buttons were still loose down the front, white shorts showing through the gap. He pulled out a small plastic bag of resin, reached back in and tossed a box of matches to Cherri. Cherri piled a handful of dry straw in the center of the floor, away from any bales or wood. She went to the front of the barn and tugged at a loose board. She wasn’t strong enough and Brian walked across to help, his muscles bunching as he tore the plank free. He laid it across the side of a rusted plow blade and stamped down, splintering the wood, stamping again and again until the wood broke into tiny strips. Cherri piled them onto the straw. I tore the plastic open, pulled out black and white photographs.

“We need more wood,” Cherri said to Brian.

He began to pull more planks from the wall.

Cherri struck a match and pushed it into the dry dusty straw. The bone dry straw flared immediately, billowing white smoke to the ceiling. The wood caught fast, crackling, flames rising and I tossed the first half dozen pictures onto the flame. They curled, blackening, but photographic paper doesn’t burn well and they smoldered along the edges without flaring.

“More wood,” I said. I glanced down at the next bundle of pictures. Cherri partially clothed, sitting on the edge of a pool, light reflecting from the water catching her hair and eyes. These were good pictures. No, I told myself, forget any false modesty, these were great pictures. I tossed them onto the flames.

We added more wood, dust dry, sucking greedily the fire into themselves and finally the photographs began to burn. I added more. Cherri took some, looked at them before throwing them into the flames. Brian knelt with us, joining in, the three of us kneeling around the fire as though we were praying. A mixture of surprise and arousal showed on Brian’s face as he glanced at the pictures before adding them to the curling pile.

I pulled out strips of negatives and added them, these catching fast, flaring brightly, instantly obliterated. Sweat trickled along my cheeks. Smoke drifted across me, acrid where the chemicals in the paper burned. I must look terrible, because both Cherri and Jack were streaked with grime, eyes red and watering, clothes stinking of fire. Finally the last of the prints were burned, the last of the negatives destroyed. I had two undeveloped rolls of film in my vest and I tore them from the canisters and tossed them on, opened the back of the Nikon and pulled the film free and added that to the flames. Gone. All gone. Our summer secrets consumed in flame.

I was the first to move. I pushed back on my heels and stood, climbed the ladder to the upper floor, walked across and stood on the platform over the lake. Smoke from our fire billowed out through the holes in the barn walls and drifted across the rippled surface. I heard footsteps. Arms snaked around my waist and Cherri pulled herself against my back.

shook my head. All gone. Everything destroyed.

“I feel like shit.”

Cherri laughed softly. “That’s okay then. You look like shit too.”

Good old Cherri. Making me smile.

Brian joined us, putting his strong arms around us both and I leaned into him, needing his strength, missing Jack. We stayed on the platform a long while, watching smoke roll across the water, holding onto each other silently.

Cherri kissed me first. Reaching on tiptoe her lips touched my cheek and without thinking I turned to find her mouth. Her hand touched my breast and I gasped, lust exploding through me without warning. I kissed Cherri hard, dropped my hand to her ass and lifted her skirt, caressing the roundness beneath. Brian grew hard against my side and I turned and kissed him too, my life destroyed, my summer ended, one last opportunity for us to be together, the three of us, and I wanted them both so badly I could hardly stand, my legs turning weak, head spinning. I turned to Brian and reached inside his open fly, pushing hard until I found his stiffening cock.

Somehow we shuffled across the floor, found the bed we had formed from bales. I lay on my back, Cherri on one side, Brian on the other. Cherri unbuttoned him completely, freeing his cock and I reached for him, stroking as he thrust against my side. Cherri sat up and removed her top, lay back against me, unbuttoning me, freeing my breasts and stomach to her touch. This was our final performance, a farewell to each other, a farewell to summer and I wanted it as much as I’d wanted everything else. I regretted nothing. Not a single moment. I wouldn’t have changed anything.

Only slowly, through a haze of arousal, did we become aware we were not alone in the barn. I don’t know which of us stopped first, but within moments each of us stilled, listening.

Footsteps below. A scuffling sound. A billow of smoke rose through the opening above the ladder.

“Nothing left.” Greg’s voice.

“I wanted to see them.” Sara, her voice whiny, weak, and I wondered how I’d ever thought her beautiful.

“Not now you won’t.”

“Jack took some of those,” Sara said. “I liked Jack.”

“More than me?”

“He was nice.”

I heard the slap, loud, and Sara’s cry.

“As nice as me, bitch?”

“Fuck you!”

“Okay, if that’s what you want.”

“Get off me!”

It was happening again. Greg didn’t understand the word No. He may have been fucking Sara all summer, but a big difference existed between willingness and rape. I’d pretended for years that what he he’d done to me wasn’t rape, that somehow everything had been my fault, I must have led him on, must have in some way wanted him to take me. But that was all wrong, all self-justification. Greg was evil. Simple as that. And I wasn’t going to let him get away with it again.

I rolled off the hay and moved fast to the ladder, stood over the hole, my shirt open all along the front, breasts bared. Greg pushed Sara backward toward one of the stalls. They passed almost directly beneath me, and without thinking what I was doing I leapt through the gap and landed on his shoulders. As he collapsed beneath me I punched and scratched and bit. I was a wild animal, beyond all restraint, my nails drawing red trails down Greg’s face.

He spun beneath me, legs kicking, catching in the remains of the fire and scattering ashes and sparks madly. He grabbed my hands, pushing me away. I squirmed, kicked, brought my head down hard against his nose and his grip loosened. Suddenly fingers curled into my hair, pulling me back. It was Sara. The girl I was meant to be saving now helping Greg. I should have known. Should have let him rape her. I twisted, kicking out, caught her on the shin and she staggered away, taking fistfuls of my hair with her. Behind me a whoosh as bales caught, a sudden heat baking my back. Greg grabbed me, toppling me to the ground. Sara came at me again and I kicked out with both feet, catching her on the chest. I pushed hard and she flew away from me, landed heavily on a pile of straw. The fire spread suddenly, aggressively, sparks and burning straw filling the air, smoke billowing to the ceiling, pouring out through the opening above the ladder. Cherri and Brian were still somewhere above us!

Greg dragged me across the floor, half lifting me to my feet and I squirmed, trying to escape him but I had forgotten again how strong he was, how determined. He swung me hard. My feet came off the ground and he continued the swing, building momentum. Then Greg let go.

I arced through the air, unable to change my flight. Greg had timed the throw perfectly. Flame licked my body. I smelled singeing hair, landing hard among the burning bales, my skin agony, a roaring sound engulfing me. All I saw was fire. Then an arm appeared, a woman’s arm and I grabbed it, was pulled hard out from the flaming straw and dumped damaged and in agony on the dirt floor. Sara stood above me, her own hair smoking where she had reached through the flame for me.

“Stupid cunt!”

Greg punched her hard on the side of the head and she buckled. I kicked out at him, my boots catching his thigh and he stumbled. He turned and lashed out, catching me on the side and I rolled away, away from the flames. Fire filled the whole of the barn now, bales flaring, smoke thick. Above us the planks of the upper floor were smoking, tendrils of flame snaking along their edges. The smoke roiled and moved, the sound of the fire like a wild animal roaring.

I staggered to my feet and stumbled backward away from the heat, away from the noise.

Greg lifted Sara’s slim figure in his arms and swung her as he had me, directly into the burning maelstrom she had rescued me from. Sara screamed as flame fanned around her flying figure. Her hair caught in a rush, flaring around her head. Her skirt followed, a puff of flame at her hips. Sara disappeared, the roaring fire engulfing her completely.

I stopped going backward and ran toward the flame. Sara had saved me. I could do the same for her. But in the short seconds since she’d pulled me free the fire had intensified tenfold. I couldn’t reach her. Couldn’t even see her. Couldn’t hear her. No screams. No cries.

Movement beside me made me turn. Greg came at me again, knocking me forward toward the inferno. My hair caught again, flaring, the smell acrid. I twisted aside, managing to avoid Greg’s hands. Above me something groaned and flaming wood crashed down, blocking my escape through the open doorway. Greg started toward me again, hesitated, the madness leaving his eyes as he realized he too was in grave danger. He stared into my face, eyes locked on mine for a moment before he grinned and spun away.

“Have a good death, Dani.” He ran hard, leaped, soaring over the burning mass of wood between him and the door and suddenly I was alone with the flame. My body felt crisped, my hair and eyelashes remnants. More of the ceiling crashed down. I stared up. The flames had reached the upper floor now. Straw sucked fire to itself greedily. Fire licked and climbed the inner walls like a lover’s tongue. I spun around, surrounded by fire and smoke. I could hardly see, my eyes closing up, convinced this was the end for me.

It should have been.

I went to my knees, my body giving up, pain dissolving away. The fire became distant, happening somewhere else. I stared at the flame caressing the far wall. Through the gaps we’d made to start this inferno lay cool, clear water I couldn’t reach.

I coughed hard, my lungs raw, watched as something moved through the gaps in the barn. Figures moving. The wall exploded inward in a frenzy of burning wood and sparks. Brian rolled across the floor, wet clothes billowing steam. He grabbed me under my arms and lifted, turned and ran back, leaped and we soared through the flames, crashed back through the weakened barn wall and landed in the lake. Inside the barn I’d hardly felt the heat and fire. As soon as the cold water closed over me I was in agony. When my head cleared the surface I screamed. Cherri helped Brian drag me to shore, helped carry me away from the raging firestorm that had been our barn. The roof collapsed as they lay me on the grass beneath the trees. Beyond the woods came closer to the barn and some of the nearer branches had caught.

“Dani.” Cherri leaned over me, her face streaked, her wet hair plastered to her cheeks.

“Hi,” I said. I was starting to drift again, grateful for the lessening of my pain.

“Are you okay?”

I shook my head. “I don’t think so. I think I burned off all my hair.”

She touched my head, laughed, the laugh catching in her throat. “Only on one side. You can start a new trend.”

I began to cry.

Cherri leaned over and kissed me, her lips soft against mine. If I’d known I wouldn’t see her for ten years I’d have kissed her back.

Chapter 27

I was saved from my memories by college, drawn into hard work and distraction, with no time to sit around and mope, no time to miss Cherri, to miss her laugh, to miss the way her tongue poked out when she was concentrating and the way her mouth quirked up on one side when she found something really amusing, didn’t think about any of those things at all. Not much.

Didn’t wonder why Cherri hadn’t written.

Two days before Christmas I was in the darkroom with Dad trying to decide whether to tell him about Jack. I guess I had to tell Dad, and if I was going to tell him here in the darkroom was the place, surrounded by the familiar smells, chemical and sharp, but smells I was comforted by, as I was comforted by his presence. Not a big man, not impressive in many ways until you noticed his eyes and read the assurance in them. My father was the rock in my life. I loved Mom and I guess I loved my brother, but Dad was the sun around which I orbited. Everything was different when I was with him, calm and safe, nothing bad ever going to happen.

I’d started college late, allowances made for my condition. Then in November I’d called Jack. We met on Sunset and took in a band, laughing when we discovered the Himalayans were playing at the Viper but the singer didn’t remember us. I guess if Cherri’d been around he might’ve remembered her, but I didn’t care and I don’t think Jack even noticed the band at all.

My hair was starting to grow out again. The nurses had shaved it off completed, shaved close to my skull, too many burned and mismatched lengths to attempt repair. By Christmas it had grown out to just cover my ears. The first time I saw Jack he’d run his hand over the emerging hair and said he liked the new look, showed the shape of my face, made me even more beautiful. Jack always was full of shit.

Two weeks later I sneaked him into my dorm when my roommate was out, our coupling frantic and rushed, Jack because he wanted me badly, me because I was trying to exorcise the memory of Cherri. Two months without so much as a postcard or a phone call.

I’d been lucky. My skin was singed raw but there were no deep burns. Yes, I’d been lucky, unlike Sara. It was two days before the flames died back enough for anyone to go into the barn. They think they found her. They found something, anyway, a few bones, some melted buttons, one shoe completely unharmed. Dad came up to sit with me in the hospital and take me home but I refused to leave until Sara’s fate was confirmed. The police interviewed Cherri and Brian, satisfied Greg was the guilty party. Greg had disappeared. No sign of him anywhere. They talked to me in the hospital where I lay covered in salve and bandages. That was where they shaved my head. The expression on my father’s face as he sat beside my bed made my heart ache. He sat until I was well enough to take home, well enough to answer my own questions from the police. I told them Greg had murdered Sara. I didn’t tell them he had raped me two years before, seeing little point now. They would find him and punish him for a worse crime. It would be impossible to hide for long. They’d find him and punish him. Lock him somewhere dark and cold, lock him in with hard men who might like a pretty young man. Nothing was too much punishment for Greg. Nothing.

The pinging of the timer drew me back from my thoughts. Dad switched off the enlarger lamp and slipped the sheet of white photographic paper into the tray of developer. He used plastic tongs and gently lifted, washing the liquid over the paper and I watched as the image appeared, an image of me he had taken that day. As it grew clearer I realized how good he was, how much harder I needed to work to even approach his level of skill, to attain the kind of emotion he invested in each photograph.

When he was satisfied he pulled the print free, allowing the excess liquid to drain before sliding it into the fixer to instantly stop the process and set the image permanently. He used tongs again to work the print around.

“Dad?”

“What is it, Dani?” The way he said it was as though he had known this was coming. I hadn’t even known myself, but he had.

“I think I might have a boyfriend.”

His hand stopped moving. The print floated one way, bumped the side of the tray and drifted back. Dad started rocking the tray again.

“Only think, Dani?”

“I have got a boyfriend.”

“I assume you don’t mean Pete?” He continued working the print.

“No, not Pete.”

“Good for you. Do I know him? What’s his name?”

“Jack Bennet. No, you don’t know him.”

“Where’s he live?”

“LA.”

“Local then.” He laughed.

“San Clemente,” I said. We lived in north Santa Monica.

“That could be tough on the old love train, Dani.”

I punched him in the side and he chuckled.

“Is this serious?” The print was ready and he pulled it out, let it drift down in the water bath. He waited to transfer it to the next water bath along and then wash it under the tap. The whole process was slow and certain, a known ritual.

Finally I gave him my answer. “I think it might be, Dad.”

He wiped his hands on his pants and pulled me into a hug. I rested my head against his chest, hearing his heart beating faster than I thought it should and I wondered if I’d upset him. But I couldn’t be his little Dani forever.

He kissed the top of my new short hair and I hugged him back.

“Well, if he’s who you want then I’m pleased for you. I take it he appreciates what a lucky man he is.”

I giggled. “Of course he does. I tell him all the time.”

“That’s my girl.”

“I love you, Dad.”

He kissed my hair again, stroked my shoulders. “I know you do, Dani. And I love you more than anything in the world. You know that too, don’t you?”

I nodded, unable to speak. Of course I did.

“Have you told your Mom yet?”

I shook my head and he felt my answer. His heart sounded loud and sure where my ear pressed against him, slowing now.

“You want me to be around when you tell her?”

“You can tell her if you want.”

His chest hitched as he laughed. “No, Dani. You got to learn to handle the tough things in life as well.”

Epilogue

When the big semi hissed to a stop a thin blonde girl climbed down and dumped a guitar case and rucksack on the shoulder of the road. She turned back and waved at the trucker, an older guy near sixty with a grizzled white beard and long hair.

“Take care, Cherri,” he shouted down over the noise of the idling engine.

“You too Bill.”

With a final wave he put the semi into low and bounced off, each gear change rocking the cab. Cherri hunched down, using her rucksack as a seat. Evening was coming on and she was stuck out on the side of a god-forsaken road somewhere east of Dallas. The ride with Bill had been a good one, and he’d wanted nothing from her in payment. Made a change. Cherri’d gotten used to having to pay for her rides, one way or another.

Sitting on the edge of the road her stomach rumbled, the growl of hunger hurtling her back more than six months to when she sat peeling an apple on the side of another road, a long way from Nowhere, TX, a long way in time, longer it seemed than the number of days between then and now. The day she’d met Dani. The day that changed her life. She didn’t really want to think about it, or about Dani, because thinking reminded her of the pain. Images of Dani in the hospital, her hair shaved and head wrapped in bandage, more bandage wrapped around her hands. Cherri’d sat beside Dani for eighteen hours straight, watching the girl she loved lie suspended in an induced coma while her wounds began to heal. Outside wounds, anyway. Cherri had no idea what kind of hurt was going on inside Dani’s pretty head.

Cherri’d gotten up for coffee and when she walked back saw a man entering Dani’s room, tall man with short-cropped brown hair going gray around the temples, strong face, strong walk, a man sure of himself and his place in the world but not a doctor.

Cherri stood outside the room looking in as the man sat on the chair she’d recently vacated. He reached across like he wanted to take Dani’s hand then stopped when he saw the bandages. Shook his head and said, loud enough for his words to carry to the corridor, “Oh sweetheart, what have you done?”

Cherri put her coffee down on the windowsill and turned away, walked out of the hospital and out of Dani’s life, meaning never to return. She’d hurt the girl she loved too much already. It was her fault Dani was lying in that hospital bed. If she hadn’t been so goddamned horny she wouldn’t have taken Brian to the barn and things wouldn’t have escalated the way they did. She’d have been with Dani to help her and none of this would have happened and Sara would be alive, going to college, getting laid and having a wonderful time.

Sitting beside the road as daylight leaked away to the west Cherri shook her head and wiped a hand impatiently across her face. Fuck tears.

The sound of a truck got her to her feet and she put her thumb out. Maybe the lift’d need paying with a blowjob or only a handjob if she got lucky, but Cherri almost welcomed the fact, welcomed the humiliation as though it offered some kind of payment for the sins of last summer.

She’d told Dani she was going to be a singer. Some fucking chance. Drifting from town to town, getting a little work here, a little there, the occasional open mic night, but Cherri knew something was missing. She could sing and play guitar, sure, but she didn’t have that thing people wanted to listen to, that hurt coming through her voice, that edge.

The truck drove past, for a brief moment its brights lighting up the short blonde girl dressed in ragged blue jeans and sweatshirt.

If only Greg hadn’t done what he’d done.

Cherri’d rung Dani’s number three times, each time hanging up fast before anyone replied. She wanted to hear Dani’s voice again. Wanted to hold Dani in her arms, kiss those sweet, wonderful lips and bury her face in that thick lustrous hair. All gone. Cherri knew she didn’t deserve happiness anymore.

Time passed, the west sucking all the light from the air.

A long way down the road another vehicle showed, formed into a rusted pickup truck with a blown muffler. The pickup slowed and came to a stop. Cherri hadn’t even bothered putting her thumb out.

A thin black guy leaned over and rolled down the passenger window.

“You need a lift somewhere, honey?”

“Tryin’ to get to New Orleans.”

He chuckled deep in his throat. “Ain’t we all.”

Cherri didn’t make any move, night cloaking her and the pickup, only the headlights carving away along the road.

“I’m going that way. You want a lift?”

“I guess.”

“That a guitar or a machine gun you got there?”

“Machine gun.”

“Throw it all in back. Make sure you pull the tarp over ‘cause it looks like rain.”

Cherri tossed her rucksack and the guitar case in back, lifted the olive tarp and drew it over her things, looked beneath and saw two other cases just like hers with that woman shape, another square case with Fender stamped on the side.

“You play too?” Cherri asked as she slid across the torn vinyl seat.

“I little.” The black guy waggled the stick shift, working it past some grinding and started along the road.

Cherri watched him out the side of her eyes, good looking, older than she first thought. If he wanted paying for the ride maybe it wouldn’t be so bad this time. Cherri wanted Dani so much but if she couldn’t have her she didn’t care too much who she had.

“I’m Buster.” He twisted in his seat and reached over and Cherri shook his warm dry hand. Long fingers. “Ain’t my real name, but it’s the only one I answer too anymore.”

“Cherri,” Cherri said. “Ain’t mine neither.”

“We’re a coupl’a ciphers. You any good with that thing in back?”

Cherri shook her head, relaxing, growing sleepy in the warmth of the cab. “Not so’s you can tell. Not really. Guess I need to do a deal with the devil if I’m ever gonna make it.”

Buster laughed that deep chuckle again. “I’ll see if I can remember where I last saw him.”

Cherri closed her eyes, said, “You one of the good guys, Buster?”

“Like to think so.”

“If I go to sleep am I gonna wake up in one piece?”

“Why don’t you just try it and see.”

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Epilogue