bold strokes books

e-Books

E-Books are not transferable. They cannot be sold, shared or

given away as it is an infringement on the copyright of this

work.

Sex and

SkateboardS

Visit us at www.boldstrokesbooks.com

Sex and

SkateboardS

by

Ashley Bartlett

2011

sex and skateboards

© 2011 By Ashley BArtlett. All rights reserved.

isBN 13: 978-1-60282-598-7

This ElEcTronic Book is PuBlishEd By

Bold sTrokEs Books, inc.

P.o. Box 249

VallEy Falls, ny 12185

FirsT EdiTion: sEPTEmBEr 2011

This is a Work oF FicTion. namEs, characTErs, PlacEs, and

incidEnTs arE ThE ProducT oF ThE auThor’s imaGinaTion or

arE usEd FicTiTiously. any rEsEmBlancE To acTual PErsons,

liVinG or dEad, BusinEss EsTaBlishmEnTs, EVEnTs, or localEs

is EnTirEly coincidEnTal.

This Book, or ParTs ThErEoF, may noT BE rEProducEd in any

Form WiThouT PErmission.

Credits

EdiTor: cindy crEsaP

ProducTion dEsiGn: susan ramundo

coVEr PhoTo By mEGan Tillman

coVEr dEsiGn By shEri (GraPhicarTisT2020@hoTmail.com)

Acknowledgments

I can’t skateboard. There, I said it. I can’t surf either. But I’ve

always been impressed by those who can. This is my nod to them.

Mom, Pam, Dad, thanks for keeping my bookshelves stocked

with Nancy Drew when I was seven and Radclyffe when I was

seventeen. I know I made raising me hard, but you guys always

made growing up easy.

Mare, Jessica, Megan, thanks for reading all five hundred

versions of this book. And, Mare, I’m sorry I told you all those

commas were unnecessary. My bad.

Jack, thanks for always cooking dinner for me at midnight. Oh,

and for that roof you put over my head. Maybe I’ll let you read this

book past the acknowledgements page now. Maybe not.

I also want to thank everyone at Bold Strokes. Thanks for

taking a chance on me. And thanks for making this book so much

better than it was. And, seriously, Cindy, I swear I’ll learn proper

grammar someday.

Dedication

For Meg

Sex and SkateboardS

Chapter one

Why was the sun so damn bright? I barely had sheets on

my bed, let alone curtains. When pulling a pillow over

my head failed to block the light, I decided to get up. My bed was in

my living room, and it wasn’t so much of a bed as a futon. Whatever.

I was lucky I had gotten a place at all. Boxes littered the front room

of the small house and I stumbled around them. Even though I was

physically out of bed, I wouldn’t be awake for hours. I still couldn’t

figure out why people got up early on purpose.

The only thing in the refrigerator was a container of orange

juice. I took a healthy gulp straight from the carton. A week before,

I’d found my French press broken in its box from the move. A

complicated coffee machine was buried in one of the open boxes,

but I didn’t feel the need to look for it. I had yet to successfully

operate the damn thing and was not up for trying, even today, when

I was in such dire need for some Sumatran.

The sun pouring in my kitchen window was starting to look more

appealing so I slid the glass door open and tentatively stepped onto

the cold patio. My nipples instantly hardened. As an afterthought, I

slipped on my Vans. If I climbed onto the pile of firewood stacked

against the house, I could get on the roof. The house across the street

was one of the few one-story places on the block, and it was the only

thing between the water and me. The view was fucking awesome.

The morning air smelled like the ocean, but it felt different here than

what I was used to. San Francisco had the damp feel of the sea, but

• 9 •

aShley bartlett

you practically had to be standing in the surf on Baker’s Beach just

to smell the salt. This place was like a real ocean.

The theme song from Three’s Company went off in my pocket,

abruptly bringing me back from my daydream.

“Hey, Ollie,” I answered the phone.

“Wow, Alden, I didn’t expect you to be awake,” her exuberant

voice greeted me.

“Just got up.” I yawned and rubbed my eyes.

“I was just going to leave a message. Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure what the hell is wrong with me.”

“I’m about to head down to the restaurant. The contractor said

we could work in there now. Want to meet me?”

“Whatever you say, boss,” I responded.

“Don’t call me that. It’s creepy.” A playful note crept into her

voice. “Besides, if you’re annoying I’ll just fire you.”

“That’ll happen. Listen I need a shower. Give me thirty minutes.”

“Sounds good. See you then.”

“Later.” I hung up and slipped the phone back into my pocket.

Twenty minutes later, I slung my backpack over my shoulder and

locked the front door of my house. It was just a guesthouse, but the

owner rented both places out during the summer, and my place was

far enough away to separate it from the main house. It was already

an awesome day so I rode my skateboard down Pacific Ave into the

center of town. I turned onto Ocean Front and let myself in the back

door of the restaurant. Ocean Front was just like it sounded, one side

of the road was the ocean and the other was the back of all the shops

and restaurants on South Ocean, really just a glorified parking lot. I

found Ollie in the dining room with her laptop and a cup of tea.

“Dude.”

She turned around. “Hey, how’s it going?”

I sat across from her at the table. “All right,” I said as I dropped

my bag on the floor.

“Here’s all the numbers that you’ll need. Alarm, wireless

password, and our phone number.” She slid a piece of notebook

paper across the table to me. “And, hey, the sound system is getting

installed today.”

• 10 •

Sex and SkateboardS

I glanced over the list as she talked. She also handed me a thick

purple file folder. Ollie was big on colorful shit like that.

“These are all the applications we’ve gotten. I tagged the ones I

think are promising with little pink sticky notes.” That’s what I was

talking about. She loved to color code things. “And I put blue sticky

notes on the ones that I thought were hilarious.” I raised an eyebrow

at her. “I know it’s idiotic, but one of them misspelled California

Polytechnic. So if you have time you should look them over.”

“Okay, but I’m looking at the pink ones first. Can I start

interviewing soon?”

Her eyes traveled from my face to my nipple and stared

pointedly. The outline of the ring was pretty obvious through the

thin T-shirt I was wearing.

“Fine, I’ll put on a real shirt so it won’t show. Do you want me

to wear a pink tongue stud too?”

“The restaurant is named after my grandmother. I think you can

manage to keep it PG.” She didn’t care about the piercings and we

both knew it, so I just rolled my eyes at her. “Does this mean you’re

going to start acting like a big kid?”

“You never said when you gave me the job that I would have

to act like an adult.”

“Alden, you are an adult. I’m just waiting for you to catch on.”

I shrugged in response. Ollie thought that my behavior was an

act. I didn’t and it was too nice of a day to fight.

We turned to our respective tasks and worked quietly. The

silence started getting to me so I started iTunes on Ollie’s laptop.

“In a couple hours we’ll be able to play that on our very own

stereo.” Ollie did a little dance in her seat.

“Thanks for reiterating everything you’ve told me, Ollie. You

know how my memory is going,” I said without looking up from the

file in front of me.

“Bitch.” She smiled.

By the time I worked through the pink, the normal, and finally,

the blue stack, I’d been sitting and staring at paper for way too long.

Why the fuck did I take this job?

• 11 •

aShley bartlett

“Dude, I need coffee.” I stood and stretched. “I’ll start calling

around when I get back.”

“You just want to check out the hot girl who hangs out at

Lucy’s.”

“Ollie, I would never.” I was the picture of indignation. She

scoffed. “It’s not my fault. She’s really, really hot.” Normally I

didn’t linger in coffee shops to gawk at unbelievably attractive

women. I didn’t need to try that hard, and I’m not trying to sound

conceited. If a chick was into me, that was cool, if not, I’d get over

it. But this chick was too cool. I’m supposed to be the one who’s

too cool, who’s laid back, which is a nice way of saying I’m lazy.

Whatever.

“Hey, McKenna.” I hated when she called me that. It brought

me right back to ninth grade gym. “Don’t take too long. And bring

me some tea. The black one with the oranges.”

“Whatever you say, boss,” I called as I headed out the door.

❖

I went outside to wait for my drinks after ordering. The four

tables on the sidewalk were all occupied. The two to the left of

the door were pushed together to accommodate a group of hella

old people. Why did seventy-year-olds travel in packs? On the

right, a couple of sullen teenagers sprawled smoking and drinking

coffee. Beyond the teenagers was the chick Ollie had been teasing

me about. She was plugging a camera into the Mac in front of her.

Not a little camera either, like a half-the-size-of-my-head-camera. I

couldn’t tell where she was looking because she was wearing these

big dark glasses. Her long hair was tucked up under a trucker hat.

Cayucos Surf Co., one of the local surf shops, was tagged in loud

colors across it. Curly, honey-colored tendrils were falling out the

sides. She was at most twenty-five, probably not even that, so I

had at least a year on her. Studiously pretending not to watch her, I

turned toward the geriatrics.

“Hey, Seth,” the hot chick called to the teenager facing her.

“Bum me a smoke.”

• 12 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“Sorry, Wes. Got mine from Kayla.” He pointed to the girl

sitting next to him.

“Kayla. Hook me up.”

“I’m out. He took my last one.” The girl tossed a pack onto the

next table.

With annoyance, the hot girl flipped open the pack, and finding

it lacking, tossed it back on the table.

“I’ve got one,” I said.

“That would be awesome.” Then she smiled. It was all white

teeth and curving pink lips. She had a dimple on one cheek but not

the other. My stomach dropped and resided heavily about six inches

lower than it should.

“Here.” I opened the pack and thumbed one out so she could

take it. She extracted it with two long fingers.

“Can I get a light too?” she said with another one of those

smiles. I handed her my lighter. She looked around as she lit the

cigarette and realized all the tables were taken. “Hey, you want to

sit? I don’t mind sharing.” She twirled the lighter and handed it back.

“Sure, thanks.” I pulled out the chair across from her and sat

down. “I’m Alden, by the way.”

She closed her laptop. “Weston. Wes, actually.”

I just grinned.

Weston smiled again. “You’re new around here. Summer

vacation?”

“Nope. My friend is opening a restaurant a couple doors down.”

I pointed to where the new sign for Delma’s hung.

She turned to look where I was pointing. “Oh, that’s Olivia

Crawford’s place, right?”

“Uh-huh. You know her?” I asked, surprised.

“We were junior lifeguards together for three summers.” She

laughed.

“I guess you’re a local then, huh?” I grinned back.

“I guess.”

I heard my drinks called from inside. “That’s me. Just a sec.” I

retrieved my drinks then went back outside and sat.

“So you’re here to help Olivia set up?”

• 13 •

aShley bartlett

“Kind of. I’m the executive chef.”

Her lips formed a perfect O. She recovered pretty quickly.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but aren’t you a little young?”

That made me laugh. “Yeah, but I promise I’m older than I

look. But Ollie just hired me to be nice. It’s total charity because I’m

not the most professional and I look like I’m twelve.”

“No, no. You look at least thirteen.” She managed a serious

face when she said it. Now that was something to value in a girl.

Sarcasm.

“Great. Thank you.”

My phone rang. That ringtone was seriously embarrassing.

“Sorry. It’s Ollie.” I flipped the phone open. “’Lo.”

“Dude, you get lost?”

“Ha ha. No. But I met a friend of yours.”

“Serious? Who?”

“Weston.” I looked at Weston and waited for a last name.

“Duvall.”

“Duvall,” I repeated.

“Oh my God. Is she the hot chick you were drooling over?”

Ollie started dying of laughter.

“All right, I’ll be right over.” What an ass. What if Weston

could hear?

“Wait, wait,” Ollie said between gasps for air. “Tell her I said

hey.”

“Sure, whatever.” I snapped the phone shut and turned back to

Weston. “I should head back. Ollie says hey.”

“Tell her the same.”

“I will.” I stood and picked up the two paper cups. “Maybe I’ll

see you here again?”

“Probably. I’m here every day.” Score.

❖

I needed activity. I’d been in Cayucos for about a week, so

I booted up my laptop and searched for skate parks. Should have

done it before I even left SF. My search turned up two in San Luis,

• 14 •

Sex and SkateboardS

so I wrote down the locations, grabbed my board and a Red Bull,

and left.

The first looked shady. A big group of guys in their late teens

lounged in front of the fence. Shiny sneakers, jeans that were way

too baggy, and general looks of disgust for anything and everything

moving. Not a single skateboard between them. That meant this was

the park for the dealers, which also meant it was the park to get the

shit kicked out of you. Fuck that. Next.

The next park on my list had me praying. If it sucked, I’d have

to get a baggy sweatshirt and look tough, but not too tough, and go

back to the dealer park. I’d rather not have my skateboard swung at

my head, because I’d seen that happen and you lose teeth, but I had

to skate. No choice.

It was up on a hill so I parked and grabbed my skateboard.

I crested the hill and peered through the metal fence. That was a

motherfuckin’ skate park. It was huge, entirely cement, with two

massive bowls. At ground level surrounding the bowls, quarter pipes

edged the park interspersed with rails and ramps that either dropped

off into nothing or curved back to the ground. Sunlight glinted off

the smooth white cement contrasting sharply with corners and edges

that were waxed and scarred black. Perfect.

My timing was good because it was still early so the park was

nearly empty. I rode around the outside of the bigger bowl getting

a feel for the terrain. After finding the best route for speed, I set

up across from the deepest section of the bowl. From my kick off

point, I pushed hard over a mound in the center, around a bowl

so I was nearly parallel to the ground, picking up speed before I

entered the bowl I wanted. I crouched as I came up the wall. At the

last second I tapped the tail of the board, slid my foot to the nose,

and became airborne in a perfect ollie. Instead of spinning like I

wanted it to, the board fell away from my Vans. My feet slammed

hard into the ground and I fell back on my ass. Skating hurts. If

nothing else, skaters had persistence. I tried again. And again.

The fifth time, I got it. The wheels smacked down and continued

rolling, with me on it no less. I whipped my head around because I

was riding goofy now, effectively going backward. With an abrupt

• 15 •

aShley bartlett

swivel of my hips and the proper shifting of my feet, I was skating

normal again.

Back at the starting point, I did it again with an extra kick for

speed. This time I was going 360. Nope, this time I was falling on

my ass again. I let it happen and ended up on my back staring at the

sun. So I picked my sorry ass up and went back to the beginning. I

totally almost had it. Except I didn’t. When I landed, I really screwed

up. Only one foot landed on the board, dead center. It was already

getting flimsy and that was the last straw. I felt more than heard the

sharp telltale crack as the board gave way under me. Damn. There

went skating for the day.

I lit a cigarette and picked up the pieces of my board. There was

a dilapidated picnic table on the far side of the park. I crossed over

and sat on the table with my feet on the bench. In between drags of

my cigarette, I examined the spent board. The trucks were in decent

condition so I could probably salvage them. But I’d already used

them on two boards so I wanted new ones. The wheels were shot.

Hell, I was in a new town. It was time for an all new setup.

• 16 •

Sex and SkateboardS

Chapter two

San Luis Obispo had a decent amount of skate shops.

Most catered to the surfers, but there were still some cool

places for skateboarders. On Monterey, I found a place with broken

graffitied TVs in lieu of a window display. I was hooked. Inside

had high ceilings and concrete everything. It was real clean, a little

industrial. On the far left wall, a glass counter had all manner of

wheels, trucks, and other skateboard necessities. Behind the counter,

the entire wall was covered in skate decks. I found one I liked with

thick black and white stripes. The kid behind the counter had to

show me about twenty of the trucks in the case before I found some I

liked. They were basic matte black with matching hardware. All the

kids were into bright colors and crazy graphics, which were totally

cool, but it detracted from the board. When I flew off a ramp and

became airborne, I wanted people looking at the cool shit I could do,

not at my gear. Lime green wheels were my only indulgence, and

once they were fitted with the best bearings the shop carried, the kid

behind the counter assembled my board.

When it was done, I tossed it to the ground. The impact made a

sharp crack like the splintering of wood. I love that sound, the sound

of a board slapping concrete. I stepped on, leaning back and forth

to test it out.

“How does it feel?” he asked like he knew what he was talking

about.

• 17 •

aShley bartlett

“It’s all right. A little tight.” I popped the back and slid my foot

up to the nose in a small controlled ollie. “Feels good.”

“You want me to loosen it up a bit?”

“Naw. It’s cool.”

“Sick.” It totally was. “I love that deck. Real simple, ya know?”

Maybe he did know what he was talking about.

After paying for my newly assembled board, I started down

Monterey, testing out my toy. I cut down a side street and back

up Higuera. The sidewalk wasn’t too crowded, which was good

because I didn’t want to ride in the street. That’s just asking to get

taken out by a car. In the large windows facing the street, I checked

myself out. I looked good. Up ahead of me, a door opened into the

street. I swerved enough to avoid hitting it, but the trucks were too

tight to miss the person who backed out the door straight into me.

Hello, cement.

“Oh my God. I’m so sorry.” My assailant knelt next to me.

I looked up into a pair of dark shades and grinned.

“Alden?” She seemed concerned.

“Hey, Weston.” If I’m going to get taken out by someone, it

better be a hot girl.

“Are you all right?”

“Yeah. You know? I think that’s why you’re not supposed to

skate on a sidewalk.” My stomach twisted in the good way when

she smiled in response.

“Probably.” She stood and offered a hand. I let her pull me

into a standing position, surprised at her strength. “So why are you?

Skating on a sidewalk, I mean.”

“New skateboard.” We both looked down at the upside down

board. The wheels were still spinning. Good bearings.

“Cool.”

“Thanks.” With a motion I didn’t even think about, I tapped a

wheel with my foot so it would flip over, then popped the board into

my hand. Ouch. My palm rubbed against the grip tape, making me

realize that my hand was torn and bloody. “Fuck.”

“Damn. You’re hurt.” Weston lifted my wrist to look at the

damage.

• 18 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“It’s not bad.” A drop of blood hit the ground between us.

“You’ve got to be kidding.”

“What?” I shook my hand, flinging off any excess blood. Most

of it was cement rash anyway.

“Don’t act all tough.”

“I’m not.” She so wasn’t buying it. “I get cut up all the time

when I’m skating.”

“Come on.” Her hand closed around my wrist and she started

up the sidewalk.

“Where are we going?” I caught up so she wouldn’t be dragging

me.

“To clean up your hand.” We turned up a side street, a small

one I wouldn’t have noticed. It didn’t have the big flashy windows

of the main roads. She stopped at a large wood door, opened it, and

motioned me inside. For about a second I considered that I didn’t

know her and I had no idea where I was anymore, then I walked

inside. It was a coffee shop. The kid behind the counter scowled at

us. That’s what I value in a barista: disdain. It’s so much more honest.

“What is this place?” The interior was poorly illuminated, and

the dark wood interior that matched the door didn’t help lighten it

up.

“This is where the hipsters go.” Her tone implied that it was

only half a joke. “Bathroom is this way.” I followed her down a

corridor along the far wall and through another door. The bathroom

matched the rest of the building. A bulb above the sink was the only

light. The walls were dark red and covered in graffiti that ranged

from call whoever for a good time to intricate sharpie murals of

dragons and fairies. It was also one of the smallest bathrooms I’d

ever been in.

“Interesting.” I pretended to look at the art surrounding me.

Really, I was just checking her out.

“I guess.” Old news apparently. “Here.” She flipped on the

water and placed my bloody hand under the stream. I made a half-

assed attempt not to press against her, but gave up pretty quickly.

The bathroom was small. Serious.

“I did a photo shoot in here once.”

• 19 •

aShley bartlett

“Really?” I wondered how that was possible.

“Uh-huh. My model was this pale, clean-looking girl, and I

wanted to put her somewhere dirty.” While she spoke, her fingers

rubbed over my palm. Transfixed, I just stared and let her.

“That sounds cool.”

“It turned out okay.” When all the blood was off, she held my

palm closer to the light to inspect the scrape. “This doesn’t look too

bad.”

“Told you.”

Wes turned off the water then methodically dried my hand.

“Here. Hold these. I can’t see.” She slid the sunglasses off her face

and handed them to me. Her eyes were such a bright blue-green

that I would have been able to see them from twenty feet away.

Suddenly, I knew. That bathroom was a trap. That coffee shop was

a trap. Because all the air was sucked out of the room, and my lungs

cried out. Instead of oxygen, my chest filled with her. The tangy,

fruity scent of her hair, I couldn’t identify what exactly, probably

because my brain wasn’t firing right. Her eyes, overflowing with

color, washed over and through me. Between us, the air was stifling.

“Do you want…” she stuttered. Maybe it was the look in my

eyes. “We should…” I held on to every word. She licked her lips.

“Coffee? Can I get you a coffee?”

“Sure.”

Weston licked her lips again. It was more of a sexy dart of pink

tongue between her lips and a slow drag of her bottom lip into her

mouth.

“You’re, umm…the door.”

“Right. Yeah.” Careful not to touch her, I groped for the door

handle behind me and tumbled out, spinning to face the room. She

was still close behind me.

❖

Tuesday’s interviews went decent. Wednesday was a nightmare.

My first interview didn’t know we were opening a restaurant. That

was why I was supposed to do phone screens. My bad. The second

• 20 •

Sex and SkateboardS

flirted with me the entire time even though she was maybe fifteen.

The third wasn’t terrible. The fourth had a tattoo on his neck. I’m

not judging, but I’m pretty sure it was a very anatomically correct

woman. I tried not to stare. By twelve thirty, I was ready to kill

myself. I had half an hour before the torture started again, so I went

to Lucy’s for more coffee.

Sitting on a bench halfway between Delma’s and Lucy’s, a

familiar figure was working on a laptop. Today, Weston left the hat

at home and tons of slightly curling warm blond hair cascaded over

her shoulders and down her back.

“Hey.” I came to a stop in front of her.

Weston looked up from her laptop. “Hey.” She smiled. The

moment passed for her to look away, and instead, her eyes dropped

to my Vans and slowly climbed up my body. She was definitely

cruising me. There was something else, though, like she was shaping

me. Under her scrutiny I became what she wanted, what she saw.

I slid the cigarette from behind my ear and set it between my

lips.

“What?” The unlit cigarette bobbed.

“Just stay there.” Without looking away, she picked up a black

box sitting next to her, just slightly too big for her hand, and cradled

it facing me. Immediately, the device became a part of her. There

was no moment of transition. It was as if she’d picked up a part of

her, like her hand, or maybe her soul, and the two fused. It took a

second for me to recognize that it was a camera, the thing had to be

eighty years old. Deft fingers flipped up the top then slid to the side

where I heard a click. She twisted a knob and stood dropping her

sunglasses onto the bench.

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” She moved around my side and I

heard the click again. “Pretend I’m not here.”

“That’s difficult. We’re standing in the middle of a sidewalk

and you’re taking pictures of me.”

“Ignore it.” The camera clicked twice more. Her face was a

study in concentration. I felt a part of her, connected by the apparatus

in her palm, and I wasn’t sure why.

• 21 •

aShley bartlett

In an effort to ignore her as instructed, I shrugged and dug

in my pocket for a lighter. Weston stepped up onto the bench so

the camera was at the level of my shoulders. As I curled around

my lighter and dipped my head to catch the flame, she clicked and

twisted three more times in rapid succession. As suddenly as she’d

started, she was done. The camera was placed on the worn wood

that she now reclined against and she stretched her feet out across

the sidewalk.

“So you’re a photographer?” I pointed at the camera ingeniously.

“Yep.” Her big sunglasses back in place, she crossed her arms

over a Cayucos Surf Co. tank top. She was fuckin’ built. She wasn’t

that tall and she was thin, but those arms. Damn. I was turned on

and jealous all at the same time. No matter what I did, I was always

scrawny. A lot of people thought I looked anorexic. Not this girl.

She probably worked out or something, probably a health nut. “Can

I have a cigarette?” Maybe not.

“Sure.” I held the pack out to her and sat on the far side of the

bench, her camera between us. “So what type of photography?”

“Thanks.” She lit the cigarette. “I’m the artistic type.” That was

ambiguous. The end of her cigarette flared as she took a drag.

“Right.”

“Oh, hey, is your hand okay?” She uncrossed her arms and

leaned toward me.

“It’s fine.” I lifted the offending extremity. Scrapes covered the

surface ranging from dark red to pink. “It just looks gross.”

“I can’t believe I did that.” Somewhere between disgusted and

impressed, she found her smile.

“Technically, it’s my fault. I was the idiot riding a skateboard

on the sidewalk.”

“I still knocked you on your ass.”

“Could you say it a bit louder please? I still have some of that

pesky dignity left.” I grinned at her.

“Don’t be such a girl about it or I’ll have to knock you on your

ass again.”

“Anytime you like.” Seriously.

“So when is the restaurant going to open?”

• 22 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“July, hopefully. Ollie has most of her renovations finished so

they’re actually letting us in the building. At this point, we just need

staff. I’m doing interviews most of today.”

“Fun.”

“Oh, it’s a blast,” I replied sarcastically. “One guy I interviewed

had tits tattooed on his neck.”

“Was it a guy named Georgie?”

“Dude, you know him?” Did everyone know each other here?

“Yeah, nice guy. Dumb as hell, but nice. You know Jamie that

works at Lucy’s?” She pointed down the street. “He’s her brother.”

“No way. I guess she got the good side of the uterus.”

“Pretty much.” When she laughed, smoke poured from her

mouth.

“Is he any good?”

She shrugged. “He’s a good cook.” He was hired. I’d do

anything she said. I had a hopeless crush and we’d only talked three

times. “So any other interesting interviews?”

“They’re all interesting. Idiots, but they’re interesting.” I

shrugged. “Maybe my one o’clock will go better.”

“One o’clock?” She looked at her watch.

“What time is it?” Damn. I didn’t even get coffee yet.

“Four ‘til.” She was trying not to smile.

“Fuck.” I stood. “See you later.” I took off down the street

sketching a wave in the air behind me.

“Later,” she called.

• 23 •

• 24 •

Sex and SkateboardS

Chapter three

My new sous-chef was hella cool. Ollie was pissed I’d

ditched out on picking up her cousin with her at the train

station, but I had to show Cliff around like right then. I spent almost

two hours giving him the tour and finishing his paperwork. It should

have only taken an hour or so, but we kept getting sidetracked. I

liked the guy a lot. Ollie called somewhere around the hour and a

half mark and said they were on their way. I was just showing Cliff

out the back when she called again. They were waiting for me at

Lucy’s. I locked up and headed down the street.

“’Sup, bitch,” Lauren yelled when I was within sight.

“Slut.” Who didn’t love being called inappropriate pet names?

Especially at top volume.

“Where the hell have you been?”

“I’m working this shit job for your cousin and I had to pick up

her slack.” I sauntered closer.

Ollie was standing behind her. “Thanks for that, by the way.”

She gave me a head nod.

“Yeah, yeah.” It was odd to see them standing there together.

Sure, I saw them together all the time. They just happened to be

dressed similarly, which made them look even more alike. Both

had this pale skin that never tanned or burned, and long, dark hair

that fell into their eyes when they concentrated or got mad. The

only difference was that Lauren was shorter. Ollie and I each had a

couple inches on her. Hey, at least if I lost one, I had a backup.

• 25 •

aShley bartlett

I got closer and Lauren threw herself onto me. She wrapped her

arms around my neck and mine went around her waist. We turned in

a half circle from her momentum.

“I missed you.” She kissed my cheek.

“Whatever.” Most people thought Lauren and I were together or

something because we acted like that. We weren’t. We just weren’t

into each other that way. She was hot in a Banana Republic kind of

way. I was more into skate jeans and less into sweater vests, unless

it was a cool sweater vest.

“So are we getting coffee?” It was the only thing to do in this

town. I slung my arm around Lauren’s shoulders and leaned against

her.

“Yeah. I need some tea to settle my stomach after watching

you and my baby cousin.” Ollie glared at me in a very unconvincing

way.

“Just because you’re attracted to boys doesn’t mean you need

to look down on our love, Olivia Crawford.” Lauren turned up her

nose at her. “Come on, doll face.” She grabbed my hand and pulled

me inside Lucy’s. I hated when she called me that.

I looked out the big window at Ollie who was pretending to

retch on the sidewalk. Very mature. Just past her a black Volvo

parked and Weston angled out of it. I tried to remove my arm from

Lauren’s neck. She still had a death grip on my arm though. The

more I pulled away, the tighter her grip got. We started wrestling

subtly. Ollie and Weston filed into the coffee shop.

“Hey, Weston.” I grinned. My two best friends were in town,

one of which nearly had me in a headlock, and I was looking at

the hottest chick I had ever seen in real life. My day was definitely

going well. Lauren and Weston started sizing each other up. Weird.

“Lauren, this is Weston. Weston, this is Lauren. She’s Ollie’s

cousin.” They said the appropriate things. Lauren gave me the

approving eye. Weston was scowling at Lauren who finally released

me so that she could order a drink. I tossed a twenty on the counter

and asked the barista to throw Weston’s drink on our tab.

“You want a cigarette?” I asked Weston. Ollie was still deciding

what to get.

• 26 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“Sure,” Weston said as we walked outside. “You didn’t have to

do that, you know.”

“I know.” I held my cigarettes out to her.

“Thanks.” She took the pack and my lighter. “So how long is

your friend in town?” When she said friend it sounded decidedly

unfriendly.

“I don’t know. A couple days, maybe a week.” We snagged the

big table. She sat next to me.

“Oh.” We smoked in silence for a while with our legs stretched

out on the sidewalk. I studied my cigarette.

“So we’re all going to San Luis tonight to hit up that, umm,

market thing if you, umm, want to come.” That was stupid. I barely

knew her.

“Thanks, but I’m kind of busy.” Yep, that was pretty clear.

“That’s cool.” I nodded and resumed my cigarette examination.

“Make sure you get some Cal Poly eggs.”

“Huh? Like the school? Why does the school have eggs?”

“It’s an ag school. The students sell eggs at Thursday Night

Market. They’re the best.” Weston leaned forward. She was getting

seriously excited about these eggs.

“Eggs?”

“You think I’m crazy.” She put up her hands and reclined

again.

“No, I’ll check out the eggs.” I don’t think she was convinced.

We fell into silence as Lauren and Ollie joined us.

“All right, what’s the plan?” Lauren leaned over me and stole

a cigarette. Ollie and I looked at each other. We didn’t have a plan.

“It’s your party.” I handed Lauren my lighter.

“I’m hungry. Let’s drop off my stuff and get some food.”

“Works for me.” I stood and shoved my cigarettes into my back

pocket.

“Thanks for the coffee, Alden.” Weston saluted me with her

paper cup.

“Anytime.”

“Come on, doll face,” Lauren shouted as she and Ollie moved

toward the car.

• 27 •

aShley bartlett

I braced one hand on the table and leaned closer to Weston.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?”

“I can’t, but thank you.” She looked sincere so I nodded and

followed my friends to the car.

❖

When we got back from San Luis, it felt like a John Waters

kind of night so we did Desperate Living then Serial Mom. Around three, Ollie went upstairs to crash. Lauren and I talked for another

couple hours, mostly debating whether Mole from Desperate

Living was hot. Eventually, she crashed too. I waited another

half hour to make sure she was out ‘cause I didn’t want to wake

her. I made sure her feet were covered with the blanket and set

her glasses on the coffee table. Then I went to steal some of her

clothes. Walking on the beach in jeans sucks. I found some cutoff

khakis and Lauren’s favorite sweatshirt. Once I was on the porch,

I put my shoes on and tugged the hood up in an attempt to keep

the cold out.

The ride down North Ocean was mellow. The sun was barely

starting to show on the ridge to my left. There were no indications

of life other than the sounds of my skateboard wheels reverberating

back to me. When I hit the empty parking lot in front of the water,

I put my shoes in my backpack and buckled my skateboard onto it.

With my first step on the beach, my feet sank in. The sand was ice.

The cold traveled up until I could feel it in my fingertips. I hurried

to the water’s edge where the ground was at least solid.

What struck me was the smell, or lack thereof. It didn’t have

the overwhelming odor of the ocean anymore. Almost like I had

lived there long enough for the scent to be lost on me. Instead, I

could smell damp grass and the dull bitterness of anise and wild

mustard. The air was light and cool. No harsh wind. Morro Rock

was in the distance to my left, and the pier stretched out to my

right. I turned toward Morro. My place was this direction, as were

the majority of the houses in Cayucos. Most of the houses on the

beachside of Pacific Ave had staircases that led to the sand. In

• 28 •

Sex and SkateboardS

between the staircases, miniature caves were carved into the rock,

a result of the ocean beating on the cliff for centuries. That was

where I found her.

Weston was sitting with her arms wrapped around her legs. Her

back was against a cement staircase and she was staring into one of

the crevices. She was wearing board shorts and a Cayucos Surf Co.

sweatshirt. I was pretty sure they were paying her for advertising at

this point.

“You know, traditionally, when people sit on the beach they

look at the ocean,” I called.

Weston looked at me and smiled. “I’m not a traditional sort of

girl.” Even in the early morning light, her eyes shone. I stopped and

stared.

“Alden?” I realized she was saying something to me.

“Huh?”

“What are you doing out here?”

“I could ask the same of you.” I sauntered closer.

She shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep. Now you go.”

“After we went to Thursday Night Market, we stayed up all

night, but they fell asleep, so here I am.”

“Weird. It must be a sleepover night.” She motioned a thumb

over her shoulder up the stairs. “One of my friends has taken over

my guest room too.”

“Wait, that’s your house? Damn.” I backed up to get a better

look. It was a huge two-story house all dark wood and windows.

“Who the hell do you take pictures for?”

Weston started laughing. “Oh, it’s not mine. It’s more of a

family property.”

“Gotcha. Sooo you want to walk with me?” I nodded up the

beach in the direction I was going.

“Sure,” she said with a quick glance back at the house before

settling her gaze on me again. “I think Trevor can handle waking up

without me.”

“I’m sure he can. Come on.” I grabbed her hand and pulled her

along with me. Surprisingly, she didn’t let go. “So why is he crashed

in your guest room?”

• 29 •

aShley bartlett

She didn’t say anything for a while. We walked down closer to

the water. When we were up to our ankles, she stopped and played

with the sand between her bare toes. “This might sound odd.” She

paused, sizing me up before continuing. “It’s…You know, never

mind.” She dropped my hand.

“Come on. Tell me.” We started walking again.

“No, it’s weird.”

“Okay, but if you get the urge.” I held my arms out to say here

I am.

“Thanks. Hey, you got another cigarette?”

“Yeah, they’re in my backpack.” I started to shrug the bag off

my shoulders.

“Don’t.” Weston put her hand on the backpack. “I got it. Just

tell me where they are.”

“In the side pocket, the left side pocket.” She unzipped the

pocket and fished around until she pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

“There should be a lighter in there too.” I started to turn around to

find the lighter.

“I got it. Stop twitching.” Her hand pressed into my ribs to

keep me from turning. It worked. I went really still. Even though

there were a couple layers of clothing between us, my head went

light and my heart sped up. The hand left my side, and the sound of

the zipper brought me back from the little side trip my imagination

went on. She handed me a lit cigarette.

“Thanks.” Mmm, Weston cooties.

“So did you check out the eggs at the farmer’s market?” She

was teasing me. I was pretty sure.

“Yep, they were pretty much sold out.”

“Did you really?”

“Yes. You told me to so I dragged Lauren and Ollie all the way

to the very end to find out that there weren’t any left. That place is

intense, by the way.” It was. The market went on for blocks, and you

could do anything from buying produce that had been picked that

morning to joining PFLAG or testing your Bible knowledge. And,

yes, the PFLAG booth was right next to the Bible-thumpers. The

market organizers had a sense of humor.

• 30 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“I guess it was your first time there.”

“Yeah.”

“Aww, how cute. A Thursday Night virgin.” She nudged me

with her shoulder. My face started to burn from blushing. Awkward.

“I guess so. Someone could have warned me that it wasn’t

some pansy ass farmers market.”

“First one in California.”

“For real?” She nodded. “That’s cool. Ollie and Lauren never

know that kind of shit.”

We continued down the beach talking. She told me about an art

show she was doing. I told her why I hated San Francisco.

I didn’t even notice how far we were walking so I was surprised

when Weston stopped.

“Oh shit.” Her eyes locked on to something over my shoulder.

“What?” I looked behind me. Nothing was there except a big

rock about a mile away. It was a huge rock, actually, like half a mile

wide huge. “Wait, is that Morro Rock?”

“Yep, we’re almost in Morro Bay.”

“Shit. How far did we walk?”

“Maybe five or six miles.” She was still turning in circles. “I’ve

never walked down this far. Fuck, what time is it?” She patted her

pockets, but came up empty. “Can I use your cell phone?”

“Sure.” My phone was somewhere in my backpack. I dug

around until I found it at the bottom. “Here.”

“Thanks.” She dialed and waited. Trevor must not have picked

up her home phone because she said, “Fuck. Fucking Trevor,” then

dialed another number. “Where are you?” There was a pause. “You

can’t just do that, Trev. I flipped.” Another pause. “I took a walk on

the beach and I didn’t pay attention. I’m in Morro.” She was yelling

at him. I didn’t get what she was mad at him for. That was between

them, though. “No, you can’t just…” I could hear him laughing.

“Fuck off, Trevor.” Less laughing. “No, you’re right. Sorry. That’s

fine. Bye.” She shut the phone shut with an angry little click.

“Problems?”

“No, just Trevor. He’s being an ass. Actually, he isn’t; I am.

Well, he is a little.”

• 31 •

aShley bartlett

A smile started across my lips. I tried to stop it; I really did.

“Oh God. I sound like I’m crazy.”

“No, no. Perfectly sane.” The smile was almost under control.

Her eyes caught mine and we both started laughing again.

On the way back, it seemed like her shoulder touched mine

more than necessary. Every time it happened it felt like electric

currents were running through my body. That felt good. When she

got close her leg would brush against mine. When we finally reached

her house, we stopped in the sand looking up at it.

“So I guess I’ll see you around.” She looked disappointed. I

knew I was.

“Definitely.” I realized I really wanted her to stay. Or something.

Maybe I just didn’t want to leave.

“Cool.”

“Hey, umm”—deep breath—“you want to go out sometime?

Like to dinner?” Why did I ask that?

She didn’t say anything and her face went blank. “I can’t.”

“That’s cool.”

“No, I wish I could, but I can’t exactly date right now.” She

smiled to make it hurt less and placed her hand on my arm lightly.

“Don’t worry about it. I just thought I’d give it a shot.” I

smiled. I did my best for one of those charming, I’m-so-hot smiles

that usually made girls say yes. Why was I trying so hard?

“Listen, I’ll probably be at Lucy’s later. Maybe I’ll see you

there?”

“Totally.”

Then she smiled. She was way better at it. That one dimple

killed me.

• 32 •

Sex and SkateboardS

Chapter Four

I started working normal people hours, like nine to five. It was

weird because I was getting used to the whole getting up at

dawn thing. It was almost becoming a habit. I could skate down to

get coffee and hang out until the inevitable obnoxious phone call

from Ollie. I seriously needed to make her change my ringtone back

to normal. I was going down Ocean when it rang and scared the hell

out of me.

“Dude, you have to change my phone back. I almost fell off my

skateboard that time.”

“Damn, you’re already on your way.”

“Lovely way to say hello, Ollie. I missed you too.”

“Well, if you want to come over here for the interview that just

called to cancel, that’s fine by me.”

“Are you kidding me? Kids these days, huh?” Whatever. It was

my only interview that day so it was cool.

“That one looked older than you when she dropped off her

app.”

“See, the kids are the responsible ones. Very screwy world.”

“Are you on something? You sound chipper.”

“I think the ocean air is getting to me.” I stopped my board so I

could walk up the sidewalk without taking out any old ladies. “I’m

almost at Lucy’s. Want to meet me?”

“I do, but I’m just leaving for SLO.”

“You suck.”

• 33 •

aShley bartlett

“I know. Call me later.”

“Sure.” I hung up just as I reached the door to the coffee shop.

Only two people were in line. I did a double take when I realized

the second was Weston. Instead of the jeans I was used to, she was

wearing a pair of tight board shorts that came to mid thigh and a white

T-shirt. The shirt was almost transparent and the bathing suit top she

had underneath was totally visible. I tried to keep from salivating.

“Cute outfit.”

She turned at the sound of my voice and indulged me with a

slow smile. “Shut up. I’m going surfing.” That explained why she

was built.

“I thought you had to do that at like five in the morning,” I said

oozing something other than intelligence.

“No.” She laughed. “Sorry, you don’t know much about surfing,

do you?” I shook my head. “It depends on the tide, and that changes

daily.”

“Oh. How do you know when it’ll be?”

“You gotta get a tide book.” She pointed to a stack of little

yellow books by the tip jar. Just about every business around town

had a stack by the register. She grabbed one and flipped through.

“See? Tide’s perfect at eight forty-seven this morning so I have

like an hour.” She pointed at one of the many columns filled with

numbers on the tiny page.

I tried to read, but it was already complicated and her hair kept

brushing against my shoulder. The smell of her sunscreen reached

me as she leaned closer to show the proper date and time. I decided

to take her word for it because my vision was a little blurry.

“How about you? Working?” she asked before tossing the tide

book back on the counter.

“I was, but my only interview just canceled.” I grimaced. “So

where are you surfing?”

“You know the beach off Studio at the end of town? It’s decent.”

“Aren’t the waves huge down there?”

“No, they’re only like five feet.” My eyes must have gotten big

or something because she started laughing again. “Don’t you ever

go in the ocean?”

• 34 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“No way, man. In the Bay there are great whites.” I shook my

head emphatically. “Fuck that.”

She looked at me weird. “But you can swim, right?” At my nod

she continued, “And you’ve gone swimming in the ocean?”

“Of course.”

The person ahead of us left and we stepped up to the counter.

Weston looked back and forth between the barista and me like she

was contemplating something. Finally, she focused her attention on

the kid behind the counter.

“Hey, Jamie.”

“’Sup, Wes. Surfin’?”

“Yep, make it two.” Weston tossed a card on the counter.

“Want anything?” Jamie asked me.

“Yeah, I’ll have my—”

“She’s having the second one.” Weston cut me off.

“Right.” Jamie raised an eyebrow at me and walked away from

the counter.

“Umm, what am I drinking?” I turned back to Wes.

“Soy milk, orange juice, and vanilla blended with ice. It’s my

pre-surf meal.”

“Why am I having one?”

“Because you’re getting a private surf lesson.” Her gaze was

on the movement behind the counter.

“Huh?” She had to be kidding.

Jamie set the drinks on the counter and swiped Weston’s card.

“Be nice to her, Wes. Nobody likes that ‘wet suits are for wimps’

lecture you give to first-timers.”

“Very funny. I only did that once.” Weston couldn’t help

smiling as she took back her card and handed me one of the drinks.

“But you guys did it to me!” Jamie looked at me. “Believe me,

you want a wet suit.”

“Trevor and I taught Jamie how to surf when she moved here,”

Weston explained.

I nodded. It was like I was watching a practiced scene, but no

one had let me in on the joke.

• 35 •

aShley bartlett

“We’d better go if we want to make the tide. Come on.” Weston

headed for the door.

I followed, drink in hand. “Wait, you’re serious?”

“Trevor will hook you up with a wet suit and a board.”

I paused on the sidewalk and watched her walk away. I was

starting to think she was serious.

Weston turned on the sidewalk. “Are you coming?”

My legs finally kicked in and I caught up with her. “Yeah.” I

tried a sip of the blended concoction. “Hey, this stuff isn’t bad.”

“I know.” She smiled.

I followed her to the small surf shop on the corner. The flag

above the door said Cayucos Surf Co. The interior was rough wood

and smelled like new clothes and surf wax. There was a short flight

of stairs at the back of the shop. We descended into the rental portion

of the store.

“Tre-vor,” Weston yelled.

“Wes-ton,” returned a voice from the storeroom. A head appeared

above the pile of boxes. “I’m coming out. Just a sec.” He climbed

over the boxes less than gracefully and tumbled into the room.

“Trev, this is Alden. Alden, Trevor.” I looked him up and down

as we shook hands. Dark hair that was in need of a cut hung over his

eyes, his skin had a super deep tan, and he was built like Wes, but

more. He was wearing a dark blue, long sleeve T-shirt with Rip Curl

written down the sleeve and a pair of blue and green plaid shorty

shorts.

“So you’re Alden.” He grinned ear to ear. Weston gave him a

look that would reduce a child to tears, but he just kept smiling.

“Alden needs a suit and a board and we only have like fifteen

minutes. Can you handle it or should we go over to Good Clean

Fun?” Weston taunted him with the name of a rival surf shop.

“Tricks and posers, dude. They’re tricks and posers.” He

clutched his heart and stumbled backward into the storeroom

collapsing on some of the boxes. It didn’t take him long to recover.

He grabbed two wet suits from the line hanging in the storeroom.

“I’ll pull down a board for you. Heads, Wes.” He tossed the wet

suits to her and went outside through a side door.

• 36 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“Turn around so we can see which one fits,” Weston said. I

complied and she held a wet suit against my back. Her hands closed

over my shoulders holding the suit in place. They felt like fire

burning through my T-shirt into my skin. She swapped the wet suits

and, satisfied, hung one of them back up.

“You know she usually charges like twenty an hour for

lessons,” Trevor said from behind us. “Or she makes you pay in

sexual favors.” He started giggling at his own joke.

Wes looked ready to deck him. “Fuck off, Trev.”

“Never. You’ll never get rid of me.”

“It’s true.” She glanced at me. “I keep trying to kill him, but he

won’t die.”

“Never,” Trevor repeated.

“So you ready to hit the waves?” She apparently decided to

ignore him.

I realized I’d overlooked a rather important detail. “Umm, do I

need a swimsuit? ‘Cause I don’t think I own one.”

Wes laughed. “You live at the beach now, so it’s about time. Go

upstairs and pick one out.” I did as I was told and tried not to think

about her skin against mine. Or that she had no idea about the effect

she was having on me.

❖

Ten minutes later, we were on the beach clothed in neoprene

with a ten-foot surfboard between us in the sand. We’d opted for the

beach below the pier rather than the big boy waves down Highway

One. Wes explained that this area was better for lessons.

“We’re going to practice popping up here because in the water

you’ll have the weight of the wave pushing down on you and I want

you to be used to it.”

“Gotcha.” I watched her lie down on the board to demonstrate.

The back of her wet suit was still open, as was mine. A strip of tan

skin and the blue string from her bikini was visible. The sight made

my mouth dry and my wet suit feel very warm.

• 37 •

aShley bartlett

“You’re going to do a fast push-up and use the momentum

to jump to your feet. Like this.” She braced her hands next to her

shoulders, pushed up hard, and landed on her feet. Her feet were

spread wide like she was on a skateboard. “It is harder than it looks

so you can just go to your knees if you want. Like this.” She repeated

the process, but instead of standing, kneeled on the board. “Or you

can use a knee up.” This time she did a push-up to one knee and

stood.

“All right, let me try.”

She stepped off the board grinning. “Good luck.”

I stretched out on the board and placed my hands the way

Weston had. I did possibly the least graceful push-up ever and

barely was able to get my knee under me. Wes started laughing,

which made me laugh.

“You knew that was going to happen, didn’t you.”

“Totally.” She gasped. “You just seemed so confident though.

It was adorable.”

“Great. I’ve always wanted to be adorable.”

“Don’t worry. Everyone does it their first time. Try again but

use your knee to stand up.” I did as instructed, and about five minutes

later, I got my feet under me without the assistance of my knees.

“Am I like a pro surfer now?”

“Just ‘cause you look hot in a wet suit does not mean you’re a

pro.”

“I look hot in a wet suit?”

“You look hot in everything,” she said with detachment. Hands

down, best day ever. “Now try popping up again.” I stretched out on

the board again prepared to pop up. “But this time keep in mind that

the waves are going to push down on you. Like this.” She placed

her palm on my back. “Pop up.” I tried to move. The purpose of the

exercise I’m sure was to demonstrate the weight of the water, but it

was her touch that immobilized me.

“I can’t.”

“Sure you can. Just concentrate.” She resituated her hand and

shifted to the side so that I would have more room to move, but

continued to press down. No swell could match the heaviness of her

• 38 •

Sex and SkateboardS

fingertips on my spine. With the soft touch gone, I was able to repeat

the movement and land on my feet.

“That was awesome. Remember to land with your feet a bit

wider. And use your hands to balance.” She planted her feet in the

sand and held her hands out palm down to demonstrate.

“Like this?” I mimicked her stance in the center of the board.

“Yeah, but you want to be back farther.” I backed up a few

steps. “A little more.” She stepped on the board facing me. Her

hands went to my hips and she walked me backward. I lost all my

concentration and my stance. “Here.” She stepped forward with her

left foot forcing my right leg back into position. Only six inches of

air separated us, and I could smell her sunscreen again. Her hands

grasped mine, palm to palm, and lifted them lightly into place.

“Good.” Her breath whispered across my cheek when she spoke.

Abruptly, she stepped back onto the sand and looked out at the

ocean before I could decipher the look in her eyes. For a moment I

could have sworn she was thinking the same thing I was.

“Should we get in the water?” I struggled back to normal

ground.

“Yes, good idea. Here. Put the leash on.” She tossed the leash

to me and I sat on the board to secure it around my ankle. While I

was occupied, Wes grabbed the long end of the zipper on her wet

suit and pulled it up. Once connected to the surfboard, I did the

same. It looked easier than it was. Wes lifted the front of the board

without making eye contact. I picked up the back end and followed

her into the water. It was fucking cold on my bare feet. The water

swirled around us and took its time seeping into my wet suit.

I was already freaking out. I’m totally afraid of the ocean.

Scenes from Jaws revisit me every time I’m up to my waist in water.

I could see the kelp lolling around in the surf, which turned the

water white and brown. It looked like a living thing with a parasite

pushing to get out.

“Fucking freezing.”

“Try not to think about it.” She halted and looked back at me.

“It isn’t bad once you’re in.” The board was now floating in the

water, but we each kept a hand on it until the water reached our

• 39 •

aShley bartlett

thighs. “You’re in charge of the board now. When you hit a wave,

dip the nose down under it. You should go under now so the water

won’t shock you.”

“Okay, sure.” I ducked under a wave and opened my eyes

under the brown water. Jaws was coming any second. The salt water

burned my eyes and cold water slid the rest of the way into my suit

through the neck opening. I watched Weston do the same thing next

to me. We both stood. Her hair was long enough to stay pushed

back, but mine suctioned to my forehead and more water poured

into my eyes.

I waited for the next wave to get closer then jumped on the

board and pushed the nose down. Miraculously, I came up on

the other side. Wes was waiting up ahead for me. She was still

able to stand, but when building waves passed her before their

breaking point, she half-jumped, half-floated, and only her head

was visible above the water. When I reached her she helped me

turn the board.

“I’ll tell you when to paddle. Remember, you should always

look behind you so a wave doesn’t surprise you.”

“Will you be all right without a board?”

She looked at me with mock offense. “Hey, I was a lifeguard

here every summer since I was sixteen. I think I can handle it.” Her

gaze returned to the ocean behind us. “There’s a good one coming.

You ready?”

“Hella.”

“Wait for it.” She jumped as another swell passed. “Look

toward shore.” She was still watching the wave. “Paddle, paddle,

paddle.”

I started paddling like nothing else, but my board stayed

stationary. I looked back and Wes was holding me in place.

“Paddle, look to the shore.” The breaker came within five feet

of us. Wes gave the board a huge push. I was propelled forward and

I felt the wave catch me. Suddenly, I wasn’t in control of my own

movement. It was the most bizarre and liberating feeling to have

my power taken from me and by something inanimate no less. I just

decided to trust it instead of fight it.

• 40 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“Stand up. Stand up,” Weston screamed from behind me. I

placed my hands and pushed up hard. Wes was right; the water was

heavy as hell and it shoved me down. The board wobbled while I

was struggling to pop up. The nose dipped and I went under. Yum,

salt water.

“Great job,” Wes yelled as I started the trek back to her.

“Yeah, right,” I screamed before ducking under a wave. Once I

was in reach, she placed a hand on the board.

“That was awesome,” she said as she held the surfboard steady

for me.

“Whatever you say. I fucked it up.” I smiled despite the fact

that I blew it.

“No, you just had your weight too far forward. This time scoot

back more when you paddle.” A large swell was gathering behind us

again. “You ready? This one is it.”

“Gotcha.” I tried to concentrate this time. The water started to

move beneath me.

“Start paddling,” Wes said. “Harder, paddle harder.” I felt the

wave carry me again and the push from Wes. “Go, go, go!”

I centered myself and gripped the sides of the board. I started

to push up again and was able to pop into the air. The water tossed

me sideways and my knees connected with the board by pure

coincidence as I fell. The wave passed over my head, and I allowed

the current to push me around until I could stand.

I wanted to keep an eye on the surf so I looked behind me

immediately when I broke the surface. After the water drained out

of my ears, I could hear Wes whooping at me. I pulled my board

within reach again and swam to her. I tried a half a dozen more

times, and each time the ocean kicked my ass royally, and each time

I resurfaced, Weston cheered me on.

• 41 •

• 42 •

Sex and SkateboardS

Chapter Five

When I finally landed on my feet, I lasted about half a

second before the swell flicked me off the board. Wes

was going crazy.

“You stood up!”

“Only for like a second.” I tried to be modest.

“Doesn’t matter. You totally stood up. You’re awesome.”

“I am pretty awesome.” Modesty wasn’t my nature.

“You’re a genius at it then?” She jumped up and pushed me off

the board. I fell backward in the water and came up sputtering.

“Ass.” I was grinning so it wasn’t very convincing.

“Unhook the leash. I’ll show you how it’s done.” I handed her

the end and she connected it to her own ankle. Wes straddled the

board with her feet dangling in the water. She scooted back and

forth finding her center of balance. The image gave me ideas that

definitely did not involve surfing.

The wave grew behind her and she started paddling forward.

She was way better at it than I was. When she paddled, there was

actual movement. The board caught on the crest. Wes popped to

her feet with no effort. She leaned in toward the wave, directing the

board back and forth before diving into the water. When her head

broke the froth, I started whooping in a damn good imitation of her.

Thirty seconds later, she was back at my side.

“Pretty impressive.”

• 43 •

aShley bartlett

“What can I say? I’m a pro,” Wes said. “You think you can do

it again?” She relinquished the board and handed me the leash. I

climbed on and attached myself.

“Shouldn’t you be able to do cooler tricks? Being a pro and all

I mean.”

“You want me to push you off?” She jumped and feigned like

she was about to toss me on my ass. I flinched and held up my arms.

“Naw, I wouldn’t do that.” At my look she started laughing again.

“My board is like half this size. Shortboards are easier for tricks.

Longboards are better for beginners.”

“I’m not a beginner, I’ll have you know. I can totally surf.”

“All right, here’s your chance, newbie. This wave is perfect.”

I started paddling and waited for the push from the wave. The

board was propelled toward shore and I immediately fell off. It took

four more tries before I was able to stand again. When I finally did,

I rode for a whole three seconds before falling off. Weston’s cheers

made people on the pier stare.

About half an hour later, we called it a day. I hadn’t even

thought about sharks most of the time we were in the water, so I

thought I did pretty well. I was so tired by the time my feet hit dry

sand that I didn’t know if I’d make it up the beach.

“Dude, do you feel like you’re dying?” I asked as we traipsed

through the sand to the shower.

Wes just started laughing. Ahead of us, a father and his kids

were rinsing off. That left Wes and me sharing a shower. We propped

the board against the wall next to us and Wes turned on the spray. She

left room for me. It wasn’t a shower stall, just a pole with a couple

showerheads. We had to stand very close to both to be in the water.

“Let me guess. You’re thirsty as hell, your stomach is eating

itself, you’re freezing, and it feels like someone beat you up.”

“That sounds about right.” I watched her grab the zipper of her

wet suit and tug it down. I tried to mimic the motion, but mine was

stuck.

“Turn around.” She unzipped me. “Wait until you’re wearing

warm clothes, you have food in your stomach, and you take a nap. It

will be the best nap of your life.”

• 44 •

Sex and SkateboardS

She peeled her wet suit down as she spoke. I decided said nap

would be much more enjoyable with a naked Weston. She held her

now inside-out wet suit up in the spray until it was relatively free of

sand. The wet board shorts she was wearing suctioned to her legs,

outlining them. Her bikini top was absurdly tiny. For the first time I

could see the muscles in her stomach and arms. It was a good thing I

was already dripping water because I was getting wet just watching

her. I concentrated on stripping off my wet suit and rinsing it like

she had.

“Hand me your wet suit when you’re done rinsing it out.” She

tossed her own over her arm.

“I think I’m done.” I handed the suit to her.

Wes walked to her car about twenty feet from the shower and

spread the suits over the low wall between the parking lot and the

beach.

“You seriously wiped out on that last one,” Wes said as she

joined me again.

“Thanks for reminding me.” I’d ridden too far in, so when I

fell, the ocean floor welcomed me. My neck felt raw from where my

head had dragged across the sand.

“You have sand everywhere.” She reached up and ran her

fingers through my hair. Her approach was purely clinical, just

trying to get the sand out. Didn’t matter her intention because it

sure as hell felt good. “It looks like you brought half the beach with

you.” Her thumb moved behind my ear and rubbed until the sand

caked on my skin rinsed away. My spine tingled. I loved it when she

touched me.

“Thanks, Mom.” Funny seemed the best approach. The other

option was not allowed, especially on a public beach.

“Shit, your neck is all red. Does it hurt?” She made me turn and

pushed my head forward so she could look at it.

“Not too bad.” It just felt like a rug burn, a rug burn with sand

and salt water in it.

“I can’t see. You’re too tall. Come here.” Her hand closed around

my wrist and she dragged me to where our wet suits were drying.

“Sit.” She pushed me down and tilted my head forward again.

• 45 •

aShley bartlett

“Wes, I’m fine. It’s just raw. It doesn’t even hurt.” The tips

of her fingers lightly rubbed it as if she could heal me with her

touch.

“It looks okay. I just wanted to make sure.” Her face was still

bent close to me.

“So you think I’ll pull through?”

So quickly I thought I imagined it, her lips brushed over the

offending area. Fuck.

“There. Now you’ll be fine.” She said it like she’d put a Band-

Aid on my neck rather than kissed it.

“Umm, thanks?”

“Whatever, asshole. I was trying to help.” Playfully, she shoved

me. “You want a towel?”

“Sure.” I stepped over the wall and followed to her car. “And

thank you. You practically saved my life.” My tone was appropriately

reverent.

“I knew you were an ass.” But she was grinning as she tossed

me a towel.

“Thanks.” I dried my hair then hung the towel around my

shoulders. “So you think I could interest you in some food?”

She studied my face for a moment. “That sounds like a good

idea. What’d you have in mind?”

“I don’t know. Why don’t you pick? What’s good? Is there

some sort of after-surfing thing you’re supposed to do?” I was

definitely rambling, but she hadn’t responded so it was making me

a little nervous.

“How ‘bout Duckie’s?” She smiled finally. Why the hell do

chicks do that? Just let you talk and make an ass of yourself.

“Awesome.”

“I have pants if you don’t want to wear your shorts. Nothing

exciting, just sweats.”

“Works for me.”

Wes handed me my clothes and a pair of sweatpants. I watched

as she managed to change out of her wet clothes while holding a

towel around herself. One by one, the pieces of her bikini and her

wet shorts dropped to the pavement. The entire process took about

• 46 •

Sex and SkateboardS

a minute and a half. I was impressed as hell. Sure, I was praying the

whole time that the towel would lose just a little bit of altitude, but

she had skill. It took me ten minutes to accomplish the same task.

Once I had my boxers and a T-shirt on, I lost the towel. As I was

pulling on sweats, I noticed that Wes was standing really still, like

she was watching something. When I looked up her eyes cut back

to the ocean. They totally reflected the color of the water. There was

something deeper though. The teal of her eyes was pure where the

ocean was diluted somehow.

“You ready to go?” she asked as I pulled my sweatshirt over

my head.

“Sure.” I grabbed my wallet and followed her. She stopped not

even a hundred feet away by a little take-out window.

“Seriously? Right here?”

“Totally.” She grinned. “Why do you think we eat here after

surfing? You can order even if you’re still wearing a wet suit and

you can eat on the beach.”

I just laughed.

“What do you want?” Wes was standing at the window already

like she knew what she was getting.

“No, no. I want the whole experience. I’m guessing you get the

same thing every time.”

“All right.” She smiled and turned to the kid waiting at the

window. “Two clam chowders, two fries, and two waters.” Her hand

drifted to her pocket for her wallet so I stepped forward.

“I got it. It was my idea, remember?” At her nod I handed some

cash through the window.

Right behind Duckie’s was the smallest skate park I’d ever

seen. It mostly consisted of a half-pipe and a couple rails. While we

waited for our food we watched the kids skate.

“I didn’t know there was a skate park over here.”

“Serious?” Locals are always surprised when people are

ignorant about their town.

“I guess I just never noticed. I’ll have to try it out.” I was

already scoping the various angles.

“You any good?” Her shoulder bumped against mine.

• 47 •

aShley bartlett

“As long as I don’t run into any pretty girls.” That got her to

smile. “You skate?”

“Nope, I’m terrible.”

We fell into silence again watching the skaters until my name

was called. I retrieved the food and followed Wes back to the low

wall on the beach. There were benches on the sand just below the

wall, but apparently it wasn’t cool to sit there. The thing to do was

to sit on the wall with your feet on the bench. She handed me two

paper containers and a bottle of water. I drained about half the bottle

in two seconds. Water was good. The clam chowder was pretty kick-

ass too. In minutes, we’d both devoured our food.

We sat in silence for a while and just watched the ocean. It was

a comfortable silence. Usually it takes me forever to enjoy sitting

quietly with another human being. She was different.

People started slowly migrating onto the beach. The air was

cold even though the sun was shining. Kids played in the surf

oblivious to the temperature.

“So you and Trevor related?” I broke the silence.

“Me and Trev? No. Why?”

“Because you guys act like siblings.”

She got quiet, thinking about what I said, I guess. “We kind

of do, don’t we?” I nodded. “I guess we sort of are. We grew up

together ‘cause our parents were friends. Like, we always went on

vacation together and stuff.” She shrugged.

“That’s cool.”

Wes nodded. “I guess. How about you? You grow up in San

Francisco?” She studied me. Every time she touched me or looked

at me, it seemed like I couldn’t think or feel anything except for her.

“About an hour outside SF, but I moved there to work in a

restaurant,” I said when my synapses recovered.

“Miss it?”

“Not the city, no. I guess I miss my family.” I shrugged. “Sort

of. My older brother and sister live there. I mostly miss my niece and

nephew. They’re awesome.” Then, for some reason, I told her what I

rarely mentioned. “Thomas is technically my half brother. We all look

identical though. Same boring brown hair and boring brown eyes.”

• 48 •

Sex and SkateboardS

Wes started laughing. “Boring?” I nodded. “I don’t think there

is anything boring about you. You’re just…stunning.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to that. “Well, you’re still out of my

league.”

“Shut up.” She grinned.

“So how about you? Where’s your family?”

She got still. Like really still. “My parents—” She stopped like

she didn’t know what came after that. “You know that morning we

walked on the beach?”

“Uh-huh.” I had no clue where this was going

“That was the second anniversary. Of their death,” Wes clarified.

What the fuck? “Oh, man. I’m sorry, Wes.”

She turned and smiled at me. “Thanks. But it’s cool. I’m used

to it by now. I don’t know if that makes sense.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Wow, that killed it, huh?”

“Nah,” I lied. “I’m sorry, though.” I was lacking as far as the

brilliant and sensitive responses went so I opted for stating the

obvious. “I guess that’s why you were on the beach at five in the

morning.” I wanted to ask what happened. Instead, I let her talk.

Wes grinned. “Yep. The beach always helps.”

“I know what you mean. It’s the same for me and skateboarding.”

I realized it wasn’t exactly so I grimaced. “I’m really doing well

with the whole sensitivity thing, huh?”

Weston laughed. “I think you’re just what I need.” I swallowed

hard and gave myself a quick pep talk about meaning and intention.

“How so?”

“Most people are all cautious, like I’ll fall apart any moment.”

“I doubt you will.”

“Thanks.” She smiled again. “So you miss you’re niece and

nephew, huh? You guys close?”

“Totally. They skate too, so I always take ‘em out to the local

park.”

“You like kids?”

I didn’t register the catch in her voice. “I guess. I like being

an aunt ‘cause when we’re done skating I can just take them back

• 49 •

aShley bartlett

to their parents, you know? I don’t have to deal with bath time and

feeding them and all that shit.” I smiled at her, but she didn’t smile

back. Weird. Time for a subject change. “So are you totally beat

from surfing?”

“Nope.” She seemed to hesitate. “You have something in

mind?”

“Want to walk the pier?” I wasn’t ready to go away just yet. I

wasn’t ready to return to my normal boring life.

“I guess.” We gathered the remains from our lunch and tossed

it into the trash.

The pier was way too shady to go barefoot so we grabbed

our shoes and started the trek down the worn wood. Unlike every

other time I’d walked it, the pier was relatively empty. Only a few

guys had fishing poles set up along the side. We leaned against the

back of one of the newer, thus cleaner, benches at the end where,

surprisingly, we were alone.

“I was out here a week or two ago and these guys hauled up an

angel shark.”

“Did they throw it back?” Wes was close enough that our hands

were almost touching where they rested against the wood.

“No. They were dicks. When they brought it up they put a hole

in its side. Then they just let it twitch.”

“That’s why I never use a gaff. A crab net works way better.”

She was as appalled as I’d been. “Anyway, if you’re gonna keep

something, you have to either kill it and clean it or put it in water.”

“You fish out here?”

“Sometimes. Night fishing on the pier is a requirement in

summer.” She shrugged, which brushed her arm against mine.

“Sounds fun.”

“It’s cool.” She looked over at me and grinned really big. “You

still have sand in your hair.”

“Nuh uh.” I rubbed my hand through my nearly dry hair to get

the sand out, but just ended up scraping the raw spot on my neck.

“Shit, that stings.”

“Stop it.” Her hand enclosed mine and set it back on the bench.

“I got it.” She pushed off the bench and faced me.

• 50 •

Sex and SkateboardS

My legs were stretched out and crossed in front of me so she

had to straddle them. We were close enough that her inner thighs

brushed against the outside of mine. She brushed her fingers through

my hair right behind my ear. A shiver went through me. I tried not to

let it show. It did. Her hand dropped, but she tilted her face up toward

mine. With her sunglasses on I couldn’t read her eyes. I brought my

lips closer to hers anyway. She was inches away. Close enough so

that I could feel her warm breath skittering across my lips. I wanted

to kiss her. I had to. Right as I lowered my face, I heard footsteps

coming up the pier. We both turned to watch a group of guys walk

by us to the end of the pier where they started setting up their gear.

“I’m sorry,” she said as she stepped back. “I should go.”

“Don’t.”

“I have to. I’ll see you later, Alden.” And then she was walking

back down the pier.

Fuck.

• 51 •

• 52 •

Sex and SkateboardS

Chapter Six

I strutted up the walkway trying to remember everything I had

to say. Weston’s cleaned, borrowed sweats were folded under

one arm. I knocked on the door with a bit more force than necessary.

My stomach dropped when I heard footsteps approaching. I stared at

my shoes hoping they might inspire confidence for a moment. When

the door opened, my practiced speech died on my lips as I stared at

the woman standing there. She was about ten years older than me.

Her pale blond hair just brushed her shoulders and she was about a

foot shorter than I was. She definitely answered the door like it was

hers. Damn, must’ve gotten the wrong house. I could have sworn it

was this one, but I’d only seen it from the beach side.

The woman’s light voice interrupted my thoughts. “Can I help

you?”

“I’m sorry I must have the wrong house.” That’s embarrassing.

“Who were you looking for? I know most of the neighbors.”

She seemed nice enough. It was worth a shot.

“Weston Duvall.”

“You’re in the right place.”

“Oh, I…I’m Alden.” I stumbled over my words. “Is, umm, she

here?” Who the hell was this chick? Then it hit me. Weston had a

girlfriend. Shit.

“Oh.” A wide grin spread across her lips. “You’re Alden. She’s

giving you surf lessons, right? I’m Anne.” She extended her hand.

I grasped it while Anne’s words echoed through my head . Wes was

• 53 •

aShley bartlett

giving me surf lessons. That was it. Suddenly, I had no idea why I

was there. “Wes should be back soon. Why don’t you come in?”

“No, it’s cool. I’m sure I’ll see her later.” I had spent the last

few weeks falling all over the girlfriend of the woman standing in

front of me. I had no interest in hanging out with her. I backed away.

I wanted to run, but knew I couldn’t. “Here. I was just going to drop

these off.” I held out the sweatpants.

“Honestly, it’s no problem. She’ll want to see you and I could

use the company.” Anne stood aside and motioned me in. Seeing no

way to politely refuse, I followed her through the house. She took

the pants I was still holding and tossed them on a table by the door.

I glanced around. Most of the bottom floor was open. Everything

was dark wood and glass like the exterior. The far wall was entirely

windows that opened up to a small backyard, and beyond that the

sea.

“So you and Weston own this place?” I wanted to know

everything. Just so I could tell where the deceit was.

“No, no.” Anne started laughing. “Something to drink?” She

opened the fridge.

“Umm, just water.” I felt like my tongue might fall out at any

moment. It was dry and heavy, and it had nothing to do with the

heat. Anne pulled two bottles of water from the fridge and handed

one to me. “I thought Wes said she inherited it?”

She gave me a weird look. “Yes, her parents left it to her.”

“But I thought you said—”

Anne cut me off. “Wes didn’t tell you about me did she?” I

shook my head. A smile crossed her face. “That explains a lot. I

don’t know what I’m going to do with her.” She chuckled in a mom-

like way. “I’m just here for Theo.”

“Theo?” My confusion must have been apparent, but at that

moment the sliding door opened and a little boy bolted into the room

trailing sand and dripping water from his miniature wet suit. Even

though his hair was soaking wet, I could tell it was the same as

Weston’s, honey-colored curls. It reached about an inch past his jaw

and contained a copious amount of sand.

The kid’s blue lips parted. “Trevor says I’m doin’ way—”

• 54 •

Sex and SkateboardS

His words vanished in Anne’s command. “Stop right there.

Don’t even think about walking through the house like that.”

“But I—” His small voice was lost again as she shooed him

back outside.

“Sorry. Do you mind? We will just be a moment,” Anne said as

she stepped out the door.

I nodded, dumbfounded. Of all the things I expected to happen

when I came, this was at the bottom of the list. Hell, it wasn’t even

on the list. How could Weston have a kid? It was good I was alone

because my useless mouth was hanging wide open. I watched the

pair of them walk to a shower behind the house. Anne helped Theo

reclaim his limbs from the navy blue and neon yellow wet suit. She

leaned over and turned on the shower, pointing at his feet. Once Theo

was relatively sand free, Anne wrapped a gigantic towel around him

and led him back inside. Theo’s eyes got wide as he noticed me for

the first time. A grin stretched across his tan, freckled face.

“Hi, I’m Theo.”

“I’m Alden.” I extended my hand to him. He placed his small

hand in mine and shook it with great exaggeration. He looked about

five. I did some math in my head. Weston must have been about

eighteen when he was born. That didn’t make any sense.

“I just got back from surfing,” he proclaimed loudly. “Trevor

says I’m his best student.”

“That’s great, T, but you need to put some dry clothes on,”

Anne said.

He made a dramatic pouting face and ran up the stairs.

“And brush your hair,” she yelled after him.

I found my voice again, but was embarrassed when it cracked.

“I didn’t know Wes had a…had a kid.”

Anne’s brow wrinkled then her expression became unreadable.

“I think Wes just pulled in. Maybe she should explain.”

I nodded and we waited in silence until the door opened.

“Thanks for waiting, Anne. You’re the best.” Weston dropped

her keys on the table just inside the door. Her camera and laptop

bag were next. She was doing the twenty-something business look

today. Dark gray pants and a button up shirt rolled to her elbows.

• 55 •

aShley bartlett

Her hair was straightened so it fell into her eyes. “Is Theo back? Did

Trevor stop in? Did he say how…” She finally looked up and the

rest of her sentence trailed away into, “Alden.”

“Umm, hey.”

“What are you doing here?”

Well, I was going to demand that you go out with me. But

now that I’ve met your wife and child that would probably be

inappropriate. “I just wanted to ask you something. But I should

go.” It sounded like a good idea, but she was between me and the

door and it didn’t look like she was moving.

“No, you shouldn’t.”

“I should.” I edged past her, but she followed me outside.

“Alden, wait.”

“What?” My senses were starting to come back. How could she

not tell me about her little family?

“We should talk.”

“What could we possibly have to talk about?”

She looked uncomfortable all of a sudden. It looked like it was

sinking in for her too. “What did you come to talk to me about?”

“That? It’s nothing.” I tried to contain the acerbic tone, but it

wasn’t ready to be contained.

“Why?”

Because you have a wife and fucking kid, I wanted to scream. I

settled for throwing my hand indignantly up toward the house.

“We can’t talk anymore because of Theo? Kids scare you?

Maybe this is why I didn’t tell you about him.” She looked a little

pissed off now. I didn’t see why she was mad. She wasn’t the one

being lied to.

“You didn’t think it might be a good idea to tell me about your

wife and kid? So that I could stop flirting with you and making an

ass of myself.” The anger and disappointment made every word

rough so I had to force each one out of my throat. “Fuck, how old

were you when he was born? Eighteen?”

“Seventeen.” She started smiling. Not in a good way. She still

looked furious, but the corners of her mouth twitched into a small

humorless grin. “Do you ever wait for anything or do you always

• 56 •

Sex and SkateboardS

just fly off like that?” Definitely rhetorical so I kept my mouth shut.

“I don’t have a wife, or a girlfriend. I don’t have a kid either. I have

a little brother who came to live with me when our parents died. I

also have a nanny to help take care of him.” Shit, my bad. “I’m sorry

you feel you have to run away now that you realize my roommate

is a five-year-old.”

“You think that’s why I’m mad?” Even if she wasn’t married,

I was still pissed that she never mentioned the kid. Everything just

got serious. And way the fuck out of my league.

“That’s why most people freak out. Kids scare twenty-year-

olds.”“Damn right they do.” The tone finally dropped, making me

sound like a child. “It would have been nice to know.” I turned to

leave, but she grabbed my arm stalling my forward motion.

“I’m sorry, Alden.” She was begging without saying it.

I shrugged her hand off and walked away.

❖

I was lying on my futon staring at the ceiling. I’d been too

drunk the night before to pull it out, so my feet hung over the edge.

Ollie’s solution had been to get trashed and roam the streets of

San Luis. I didn’t see why. My life had just gotten easier. Girls were

too much trouble. That’s why I didn’t date much. Like everything

else in life, the trouble wasn’t worth it. I didn’t like to work too

hard, so I didn’t. I didn’t want a wife and kid, so I didn’t have either.

Everything could be answered by one simple question: Was it worth

it? Most things weren’t. Wes was now in that category.

So what if I was a dick for admitting what most people were

afraid to say.

Taking half a bottle of aspirin and drinking my weight in water

wasn’t making the hangover go away. A shower sounded like a good

idea, but that involved moving. Staying very still seemed the best

option. A car pulled up in front of the house. I figured it was the

people staying next door so I ignored it until there was a knock

at my door. I reached for the remote and turned up Billie Holiday.

• 57 •

aShley bartlett

Maybe they would get the hint and go the fuck away. When the

knock sounded for the third time, I went to answer it.

The door swung wide and I leaned against the frame. I let Wes

look me up and down. Her gaze lingered on the worn basketball

shorts that defied gravity by clinging below my hips. My nipples

got hard from the way she was looking at me. When she saw the

reaction through my thin T-shirt, she sucked her bottom lip between

her teeth. My mouth went dry and other places went wet.

“What do you want, Wes?”

“Sorry. Were you asleep?” She looked at my hair. It was

probably sticking out at weird angles. “I thought you’d be up. It’s

like eleven.”

“Did you come here to lecture me? ‘Cause I’d rather not do

that.” I moved to close the door, but stopped at her hand on my arm.

The touch made me freeze.

“I came to apologize. You were right. I should have told you

about Theo.”

I left the door open and went to sit back down on the couch.

Wes followed and sat next to me.

“I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid you’d react like this.”

“React like what? We’ve talked so much. Don’t you think

you could have mentioned at some point, ‘oh, by the way, I’ve

got a kid?’ Seems like something you might want to bring up in

conversation.” My voice was coming out a little high-pitched, and

it kind of sounded like I was yelling. I leaned my head against the

couch and closed my eyes. This was not helping the headache.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say.”

“You know it doesn’t matter,” I said more to myself than to her.

I rubbed my eyes and ran my hands through my hair. “I think you

should go.” I was doing my best not to look at her because I was

pretty sure she could tell I was full of shit.

“No, you don’t.” Yep, she could tell. “And I’m not leaving until

you talk to me.”

I was torn. Part of me was pissed and the other part, well,

Wes looked really hot. She had come straight from surfing because

her hair was still wet and it had started to curl. Her dark blue

• 58 •

Sex and SkateboardS

polo was soaked through from the swimsuit underneath. Since I

couldn’t decide between kicking her out and fucking her blind, I

compromised.

“Whatever. You can talk. I’m going to take a shower.”

“Come on, Alden. Talk to me.”

“Nope. I’m ignoring you right now.”

“Mature.”

Like I’d never heard that before. I shrugged and walked into

the tiny bathroom. She followed and leaned against the door making

it impossible to close. I’m sure her intention was to annoy me into

talking, but her persistence was just turning me on more. Now instead

of a steady throb in my head there was one between my legs. I’d just

have to tell myself to forget she was watching. I hooked two fingers

in the collar of my shirt and tugged it over my head. If not for her

quickening breath, I wouldn’t have known I was having any effect

on her. We saw each other practically naked when we were surfing, I

reasoned. It so wasn’t the same. I leaned in and turned on the water.

It was time to call her bluff so I dropped my shorts and stepped

into the spray. The glass door shut behind me. Not that it did much.

The glass wasn’t frosted so you couldn’t help but see through the

walls. I did my best to ignore her. I lathered my hair and put it in a

Mohawk with the suds. When I sneaked a glance in her direction, she

was staring at the doorframe and trying not to smile. The moisture

soaking my thighs had nothing to do with the water and a lot to do

with her concealed scrutiny.

Finally, I shut off the water and got out of the shower. I dried

my hair then wrapped the towel around my waist. No, I didn’t wear

a towel like a girl. It looks stupid and I didn’t have much in the

way of tits. Wes shook her head and went back to the living room.

I brushed my teeth, styled my hair, put on sunscreen, anything to

make her wait.

When I sauntered out of the bathroom, she was leaning against

the back of the futon. I opened the closet to dig around in my

dresser. Billie Holiday was still playing, and it was more audible

now. I began to mouth the words to “You’re my Thrill.” I didn’t hear

Wes come up behind me.

• 59 •

aShley bartlett

“What’s your scar from?” she asked quietly.

“Which one?” I responded against my better judgment.

“This one.” Weston traced a finger along the two-inch long

ridge of scar tissue along my ribs.

“I fell off my skateboard and landed on a piece of glass.” I tried

to ignore the soft touch that shot straight down my spine melting

everything in its path. The muscles in my face didn’t seem to be

listening when I told them to smile. She nodded and I continued

talking, attempting to hide my arousal. “What about yours?” I

pointed to her stomach where I knew there was a white abrasion

along the crest of her hip.

“Surfing. I was in a rocky area and the rock won.” She lifted the

edge of her shirt showing a flat, tan stomach.

It seemed like I watched myself touch her from across the

room. My hand moved across the gap between us and settled itself

on her hip. Thumb pressed to the soft inner curve, fingers splayed

on her side. Without realizing what I was doing, I pressed lightly,

drawing a small moan from her. Our foreheads pressed together, lips

inches apart.

“Please tell me you aren’t mad anymore because—”

I kissed her so she would stop talking. It was her uncertainty

that got me. Besides, if I waited any longer to touch her I thought

something in me might die. Damn, her lips were soft. They tasted

sweet and a little salty from the ocean. She didn’t pull away. Instead,

she kissed me so that I couldn’t think or feel or hear anything. The

fabric of her shirt was rough against my bare nipples. My left one

was so sensitive from the ring through it that it was skirting the edge

of pain. Fuck. I was so only wearing a towel and we hadn’t even

been on a date and she had a kid and I had no idea what I was doing.

“Wait. We should stop.” It took all my strength to survive

without kissing her because I knew that was where I belonged. But

we had to do this right, which was probably not at all.

“You’re right. I can’t do this.” That wasn’t what she was

supposed to say.

“You can’t do what?” We were both breathing hard. My defenses

were seriously damaged at the moment, and if she didn’t explain

• 60 •

Sex and SkateboardS

herself soon I was going to just fall apart. Maybe fall down and die.

My question hung between us and expanded until the distance hurt.

I couldn’t fill my lungs. Like I was drowning.

“I should go.” She turned and walked toward the door.

“No. Wait. Don’t.” I followed her. For just a second, she looked

at me. Her eyes were bruised and darker than I had ever seen them.

“Just wait. Let me get dressed. We’ll talk.” I held up my hands in

surrender. “Please.”

The nod she gave was so slight that I felt rather than saw it. I

dressed hurriedly. The first pair of jeans I saw and a T-shirt.

“Let me show you something.” I didn’t check to see if she was

following. I just went out the door. I was careful on the firewood so

I wouldn’t get splinters in my feet. On the roof I turned and sat with

my legs dangling over the edge. Wes climbed on the firewood and

took the hand I offered. I pulled her up next to me. We stood using

our held hands for balance. The best place to sit was facing west

looking at the ocean. The sun was just starting to burn the morning

fog, and we could barely see the pier and the oblivion of the bay

giving way to open sea. For maybe ten minutes, we just sat. She

didn’t let go of my hand.

“I…” I didn’t know what to say. Billie was still playing inside.

“I can’t get you out of my head, Wes. It’s like when I’m around you

I can do anything, be anything, because you think I can.” The words

started pouring out and I couldn’t stop them. “Hell, I learned to surf

because of you. I can’t stand the ocean. I’m totally afraid of it, I can’t

swim, I hate kelp, and I’m afraid of sharks. I’ll probably need years

of therapy.” That sounded obsessive. I needed more convincing, less

I’m-stalking-you.

Wes started laughing. Not chuckling or anything, full on

laughing. I didn’t know if I should join her or just jump off the roof

and get it over with. She was gasping for air now. I knew I wasn’t

that funny.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m laughing.” She laughed some

more. “You think I fuck you up?” She was still grinning. Her one

dimple was really pronounced. It was so sexy. “The amount of time I

spend at Lucy’s has tripled since I met you. Hell, I’m going through

• 61 •

aShley bartlett

film like the first time I got a camera.” The laughter stopped. “I was just hoping that maybe, just maybe, you would have something

wrong with you so I could walk away. But I can’t seem to walk

away.” Her tone was appreciative and frustrated. But then her smile

dropped. “But I can’t stay. I just can’t.” Okay, let’s be positive; she

likes me. It was like being in sixth grade and you just got the note

back and they checked yes. Except more painful. Less fun too.

“Why?” I sounded a lot more together than I was.

“Theo.”

“Come on, Wes. I like kids. You have to give me a chance. Give

me something. We’ll all go out, like the three of us.” I must have

been insane. I didn’t know who I was trying to convince. Me or her.

I just decided to roll with it.

“He’s not just a kid you can give back when you’re done having

fun.”

Shit. I might have deserved that one. “I know. But why not give

it a shot?”

“And then what? In six months when you’re bored of having a

kid around or we’re bored of each other? What do I tell him then?”

“I don’t know.” It was the truth.

She let go of my hand and stood. “I’m sorry.” I tried to meet her

eyes, but she looked away and climbed down. Hours passed while

I sat on the roof. The sun finally burned away the mist covering

Cayucos. I waited, hoping her touch would somehow seep out of my

skin and evaporate into the warm salt air. It didn’t.

• 62 •

Sex and SkateboardS

Chapter Seven

Three days passed. Ollie got my coffee every morning so I

didn’t have to go into Lucy’s. I spent my time in the kitchen

cooking and working out our menu with Cliff. I kept drinking Red

Bull and forgetting to eat.

None of it worked.

Ollie eventually forced me into her car and took me to San

Luis. We went into Woodstock’s where she ordered a huge pizza. I

didn’t realize I was hungry until I ate half of it.

“You want to talk about it?” She was only on her second piece.

“Not so much.” Every item on the table needed rearranging. I

diligently stepped up to the task.

“Alden.” I glanced up. “Tell me. You’ll feel better.”

“I don’t think I want to.”

“How about I start you off?” I looked at her curiously. “Three

days ago Weston showed up at Delma’s asking where you were. I

told her where you lived.”

“I kissed her.” My eyes dropped to the table again.

“What?” Her half-eaten pizza hit the plate.

“She came over to apologize, and I’m not sure what happened.”

I shrugged. “We ended up kind of making out and then she took off.”

“That’s good, right?” She started eating her pizza again.

“It could be better. She said she doesn’t want to see me because

of the kid.”

• 63 •

aShley bartlett

“What do you mean?” Ollie finished her pizza and grabbed

another slice.

“I might have, maybe, told her kids were fun as long as you can

give them back to their parents when you get bored. Or something.”

“Dumbass. What else?”

“I don’t know. Something about how I’ll get bored having a kid

around or we’ll break up and he will be devastated.”

“But you love kids.” She said it like it was pure logic.

“I don’t think that’s what it’s about.” She waited for an

explanation. “When my mom started dating, it drove me and Katie

and Thomas crazy. The guys we liked never stayed. The ones we

hated would stick for years. You know?”

“No. I’m not following.” Ollie grew up in a two-parent

household where dinner was on the table at the same time every

night, no questions asked.

“When you have a kid, whoever you date, they date. When you

break up, they break up.”

“So if Weston went out with you then the kid would be going

out with you?” She said it slow like she was trying to keep up.

“Kind of. So I can see why she wouldn’t do that to him.” I

hesitated. “And why I should leave them alone.” I didn’t need to tell

her the last part. Ollie and I both knew the chances of me sticking

around weren’t great. I’d made a conscious decision to never grow

up. That wasn’t going to change.

“Why don’t you just tell her you understand?”

“Because I don’t. There’s no way for me to get that. There’s no

way for anyone to know until it happens to them.” I started talking

faster and a bit louder.

“Hey.” She kicked me under the table. “Shut up.” Her eyes

locked onto something behind me.

“What, dude?” I turned around and caught sight of Wes and

Theo walking in. Both were clad in neon board shorts that came

to knee level. Their hair matched too. Wes had hers in a ponytail,

and Theo’s was pulled away from his face on top with the back

down.

“Damn,” Ollie said. “They’re pretty, aren’t they?”

• 64 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“What do I do?” I tried to turn back, but she had seen me. There

was nothing to do except smile and wave. They came toward our

table.

“Smile. And make eye contact. It makes you hotter.”

“Hey, Wes.” I smiled. Ollie told me to.

“Hey.” Wes smiled too. Damn, she was good at that, smiling I

mean. “This is Theo. I don’t know if you guys properly met.” She

set her hand on his shoulder.

“Hi, Theo. I’m Olivia.” Ollie shook his hand. She looked a

little stunned. Maybe she was figuring out that he was real.

“Hello, Olivia.” He smiled his sister’s smile then looked at

me. “I remember you. You’re Alden.” Every word he said was over

enunciated like he was trying it for the first time.

“That’s right.” This was awkward.

“So what are you guys doing here?” I don’t know why Ollie

asked. It was pretty obvious.

“Just getting some dinner. It’s Theo’s night to pick.” Wes and

Ollie kept talking. I nodded along pretending I was following. I

wasn’t, until I heard my name.

“What?” Okay, I sounded like an idiot.

“I said we almost have a menu.” Ollie was looking at me

meaningfully, but I didn’t get the meaning.

“Uh-huh. We just have to test it out.” Why was she talking to

them about the menu?

“So what are you two doing tomorrow night?” Ollie grinned

at me and returned her attention to Wes and Theo. Then I realized

what she was doing. What a bitch. I kicked her under the table. She

kicked back.

“Not much.” Wes shrugged and glanced at me, confused.

“Great. Then come by Delma’s around seven. We’re doing a

trial run of the menu to narrow it down. Cliff and Alden are making

tons of food. Cliff’s bringing his wife and kids and my grandmother

is coming, but we still need more guinea pigs. It’ll be fun. I promise.”

Ollie was devious. We totally had enough people coming. I was

going to kill her. I’d have to thank her first.

“You sure?” Wes looked at me.

• 65 •

aShley bartlett

Ollie kicked me again. My shins were going to bruise.

“Definitely. It’ll be a good time.”

“Plus, Alden is an amazing chef.” Ollie dramatically closed her

eyes and tipped her head back. “Amazing.” Loser.

“All right. We’ll be there.”

“Wes.” Theo spoke for the first time since he was introduced.

“Weessss, I’m hungry.” He started pulling on her hand.

“All right, little dude.” Wes yanked him closer and pulled him

in front of her. “But ask nice. Don’t be rude.” She settled her arms

over his shoulders and crossed them over his chest. They looked

natural and perfect with their exact features. Their eyes, mouths,

even the freckles across their tan noses were the same.

“Sorry.” He looked up at her.

“Don’t tell me. Tell them.”

“I’m sorry.” He made eye contact with me then Ollie when

he said it. This kid had better manners than me. Not that it was a

challenge.

“We’d better get a table.” Wes released Theo. “I guess we’ll see

you guys tomorrow.”

“Later.” I watched them walk away and snag a booth on the

other end of the restaurant. “Ollie, what the hell are you doing?”

“Eating pizza.” She had already turned back to her forgotten

food.

“Hilarious. I mean inviting them.”

“The longer someone hangs around you, the more they fall in

love with you. So I’m creating an excuse for her to hang out with

you.” Ollie was in the habit of saying crazy things as if they were

common sense. She had the perfect disinterested delivery.

“What?” Who said I wanted Wes to fall in love with me?

“I’m not going to repeat this. I don’t want to inflate your ego.

Listen closely.” She took a swig of soda. “You are charming and

totally hot. You are also an idiot, but you even make that seem sexy.

You follow?”

“You’re on crack.”

“Believe me. Even Grandma has a crush on you. Ask her.”

“Crack.”

• 66 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“Fine. Don’t believe me. It’s still true.” She shrugged. “Want

to get out of here?”

“Sure,” I said as we stood. “And thanks. For inviting them.”

“Just don’t screw it up. I hate when you get depressed.” She

slid her arm around my waist. Automatically, I draped my arm over

her shoulders.

“Whatever.”

❖

Ollie had invited way more people than I thought. Apparently,

she told Cliff instead of me. Ollie sucked. There was plenty of

food, though. Delma, Ollie’s grandma, got there before everyone

and harassed the shit out of us. I guess she thought buying Ollie a

restaurant justified being cruel. It sort of did. She also insisted that

since she was paying me she could order me to hang out with her all

night instead of working in the kitchen. When I insisted on doing my

job, she threatened to fire me. As people arrived, Delma and Ollie

and I greeted them. Lauren got there an hour in and stayed up front

with them so I went back to the kitchen.

When Cliff’s family showed up, I sent him out so he could give

them the tour. After fifteen minutes, he came back in the kitchen

and told me that Delma wanted me back. I gave him my most

exasperated sigh, but he still pushed me into the lobby.

“There she is.” Delma abandoned Ollie and Lauren at the door

to grab my arm and drag me with her. “I can’t be alone that long.

What were you doing?”

“My job.” I smiled.

“I thought I was going to fire you.” She slid her arm through

mine. At that moment the door opened admitting Wes and Theo.

Wes looked around until her eyes locked onto my face. I stepped

forward then stopped myself. She smiled. Theo immediately left

Wes’s side to shake Ollie’s then Lauren’s hand. Very sociable. Wes

sauntered toward Delma and me.

“Hey, Alden.”

• 67 •

aShley bartlett

“Wes.” An elbow was pressed into my side. “Oh, Wes, this is

Delma. She’s Ollie’s grandmother. And this is my friend Weston.”

Delma took Weston’s hand and didn’t show signs of letting go.

“Is this one of those times you say friend when you mean

something else and I don’t find out until two months later?” Delma

asked mischievously. She was evil.

My jaw dropped. Literally. Wes looked straight up, shocked.

“I’m sorry about her,” I told Wes. “She’s getting pretty senile. We’re

putting her in a home next week.” Wes started grinning. At least she

wasn’t running the other direction.

Delma let go of Wes so she could slap my arm lightly. “You are

not. I asked a simple question.”

I hated when Delma teased me. She always chose the most

unfortunate audience. “No, Delma, I said friend and I meant it.” Wes

was still standing there looking a little shell-shocked.

“Perhaps you should do something about that.” Delma smacked

my arm again. “She is absolutely beautiful.”

“Delma!”

“Thank you,” Wes finally chimed in. Anything to get the old

lady to stop talking I guess.

“You’re welcome.”

“It doesn’t matter anyway,” I told Delma. “I tried, but when I

asked she said no.”

Delma’s eyes got big. “Why? You two would look wonderful

together.” Delma pushed me until I was standing next to Wes, then

she linked our arms together. I was pretty sure I was going to die of

embarrassment at any moment. “Look at you.”

That was when Theo walked up.

“Hi, I’m Theo.” He extended his little hand to Delma.

“Hello, Theo. I’m Delma.” She shook his hand.

“This is my brother.” Wes let go of my arm to set a hand on

Theo’s shoulder.

“I can see that. You are very handsome,” Delma told Theo.

“I look like Wes.” You can always tell when a kid is repeating

something they’ve heard.

“You certainly do. Will you be my escort?” Delma was smitten.

• 68 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“What’s a escort?”

“It means you will walk around with me and say hello to

people.”

“Okay.” Theo shrugged. He was easygoing.

“I thought I was your escort.” I wasn’t offended. It made my

night a hell of a lot easier.

“You’re a slouch. And I believe that you will be keeping Weston

company. Will you not?” Was it that obvious?

“I’m not sure I want a slouch hanging around me.” Oh, now

Wes was going to be funny.

“Too bad. You’re stuck with me,” I shot back. “That’s what

Delma wants.” Wes just shook her head and took my hand.

“You better give me the tour then.”

“If that’s what you want.”

“Oh, no, it’s what Delma wants.” Hilarious.

• 69 •

• 70 •

Sex and SkateboardS

Chapter eight

I was running the kitchen. It was my job, after all. The

night was coming to a close finally. We were finishing the

preparations for dessert when Wes and Theo came down the stairs

loudly.

“Weessss. I don’t wanna.”

“Sit.” Wes pointed to a chair and Theo slumped into it.

“I don’t like ‘em,” Theo said to his sneakers.

“I know. But if you want dessert you have to.” I knew this talk.

It was a nightly occurrence with my niece.

“They’re gross.”

I signaled Cliff and got him to take over for me. Wes was

kneeling in front of Theo.

“Hey, guys. What’s up?”

“I’m not doing it.” Theo had his hands curled around the edge

of his seat.

“Vegetables,” Wes offered in explanation.

“I figured. Hey, Theo.” He looked up at me. “You like pizza?”

He nodded slowly. “If I made you one where you couldn’t taste the

vegetables would you try it?”

“What kind?”

“What do you like on pizza?”

“Pepperoni and sausage.”

“All right then, pepperoni and sausage.”

• 71 •

aShley bartlett

“I’ll try it.” He was banking on try, no commitments.

“Cool. You wanna watch me make it?” I indicated the tall

chairs at the counter facing into the kitchen.

“Yeah.” That brought out a bit of excitement. He scrambled up

a chair forcing Wes to jump forward to make sure he didn’t fall. She

looked back at me and mouthed thank you.

“All right, Theo. You can park it on the counter, but don’t lean

into the kitchen.” He sat on the counter. “See the stove here?” At his

nod I continued. “When I’m cooking, it can be dangerous because

of the fire.”

“Cool.” Yep, I was impressive.

“So you want to know what I’m doing?”

“Yeah.”

“All right. I’m pouring olive oil in this pan.” I grabbed the

bottle and poured it from about a foot above the pan then pulled it

up while tapering off the stream. I was showing off a little. “Now

garlic.” I tossed in minced garlic. “And this is rocket.” I held up a

handful of greens.

“Rocket? Like a spaceship?”

“Exactly.” He didn’t need the other names. Arugula sounded so

boring. “And some spinach and basil.” I added a few more leaves

to my cutting board and started chopping. When my oil was ready, I

threw in the chopped green stuff. “Now sit back.”

“Why?” He was already leaning way too close.

“Because I’m going to toss it.” Wes pulled him back by his

waistband. Tossing shit in the air is one of those things that looks

fucking cool, is easy to do, and never smart if you don’t know what

you’re doing. Whatever. With a twitch of my wrist, I threw the pan

forward then up, forcing the contents to do a perfect little twist out

of the pan then back in. A couple more times and I got decent height.

I knew what I was doing.

“Cool.” Theo’s eyes got wide.

“Now we need sauce.” I turned off the heat and disappeared

into the fridge. I returned with a ball of dough and small bowl of

sauce. I left the oil in the pan and stirred the wilted greens into the

sauce. If I added them on top of the pizza the way it was supposed

• 72 •

Sex and SkateboardS

to be done, Theo would be able to pick them off. In the sauce, he’d

never notice. I’m tricky.

I kneaded the dough then started stretching it over the backs

of my fingers. I gave the round a couple tosses in the air for good

measure.

“What’s that?” he asked as I set what looked like a wooden

paddle on the counter.

“A pizza peel. You make the pizza on it then use this handle to

put it in the oven.”

I glanced up and realized Wes was studying every movement.

That was weird. It made my stomach do somersaults. My hands

started to shake slightly as I spread sauce over the dough. I got it

under control for the toppings. Concentrate. I just had to focus on

what I was doing. Spreading chunks of salami, crumbed linguica,

olives, and finely sliced mushrooms over the thin layer of cheese.

Theo asked what each topping was and I would give him a bite to

try. Once the pizza was finished I let it cool slightly, cut it a couple

times through the center with a flourish, and slid it on a plate in front

of Theo.

“Thanks.” He vibrated in his seat. “Can I try it now?”

“Sure, but it’s hot. Be careful.”

Hesitantly, he picked up a piece and took a bite. After chewing

for a second, he grinned. “Tastes like pizza.”

“You like it?”

He nodded vigorously, unable to talk due to a mouthful of

cheese and salami. The pizza was a good ten inches across, just

larger than a personal pizza. Theo put away about a third of it. That

was a lot for a little kid.

“Wes, I’m full.”

“Not too full for dessert, right?” she said.

“No.” He looked sick and excited at the thought.

“We just sent it upstairs. If you want some you better be quick,”

I told him.

“Okay.” Theo jumped out of his seat. “Come on, Wes.” He

pulled at her hand.

• 73 •

aShley bartlett

“Theo.” Wes had that tone down. The one that says you’re

forgetting something and you’re in trouble.

“Oh, yeah. Thanks for making me pizza, Alden.” He smiled

big. “Now can we have dessert?”

“Sure.” Wes let him pull her a bit closer to the stairs. “Thanks,

Alden.” She stopped to reach back and squeeze my hand then

allowed Theo to continue dragging her.

❖

“Will someone get that?” Even from the kitchen I could hear

the pounding on the back door. We were pretty much done cleaning.

There were just a couple guys left helping me close up. I’d sent Cliff

home with his family and Ollie had taken Lauren and Delma home.

“I think it’s for you,” someone called back. Light from the

parking lot painted the floor so I knew the door was still open. No

one came in.

“I’ll be right there.” I skirted around the poor kid who’d gotten

stuck mopping and replacing the floor mats. Finally, I was able

to walk through the dark dining room to the back door. Wes was

leaning against the frame. “Hey.”

“Hey. Are you guys still busy?” She nodded in the direction of

the kitchen.

“No, no. Just finishing up.”

“Cool.” We both nodded. Yep, it was cool.

“So uhh…what are you doing here?”

“I’m not sure.”

“You want to come in?” I held the door open.

“Sure.” She stayed close on my heels until I reached the kitchen.

“Should I just wait out here?”

“Go ahead and snag a table. I’m going to change.” I indicated

the kitchen clothes I was wearing.

“Right. Okay.” She sat on the edge of a chair. It looked like she

was ready to bolt any minute.

I let everyone know they could take off then went to change.

I ditched my stark white chef’s jacket and baggy black pants and

• 74 •

Sex and SkateboardS

pulled on my jeans and Vans. Then I ditched the tank top I wore

under my jacket and pulled on a button up shirt. On my way out of

the kitchen I hit all the lights downstairs. Light from the street came

in through the windows. It was enough to offer her my hand and

lead her up the stairs.

“You want something to drink?” I moved around the counter to

play bartender. “I’m gonna have a Corona.”

“That sounds good.”

Upstairs was dark too. I flicked on one of the lights so I could

cut a couple lime wedges without losing a finger. I placed a piece of

fruit in each of the open bottles I’d set on the bar.

“Here.” I pushed the drink toward her. Then I turned off the

light and grabbed my beer so we could walk outside. We leaned

against the railing looking at the dark beach that was only feet away

“Thanks for earlier,” Wes said without looking at me.

“What do you mean?” I hadn’t invited her. That was all Ollie.

“For getting Theo to eat his vegetables. You were very suave.”

She set her beer on the railing and slowly pushed the lime into the

bottle. Lime juice squirted onto her finger and she absentmindedly

licked it off. The slow dip of her finger into her mouth made me

ache.

“It wasn’t a big deal,” I managed to respond.

“It was.” I nodded along. If she thought it mattered, then it

mattered. “I’m not sure why I’m here,” she repeated. “You probably

want to go home.”

“No, I don’t.” There was no point in lying.

“But Olivia’s grandmother is in town and so is your friend.”

She did the thing where she emphasized the word friend again.

“Do you not like Lauren?” Might as well get it out there.

“What?” For a second I thought she was going to choke on her

beer. “Why? What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. You just seem weird around her. I got the

impression that you’re not a fan.” I was pretty sure she assumed the

same thing everyone assumed.

“No. I’ve got no problem with her.” At least she managed a

little sincerity.

• 75 •

aShley bartlett

“You’re not jealous of her are you?” I shifted to watch her

expression.

That time she did choke. She set the bottle down with a thud

and worked on swallowing. Her recovery was quick. She went from

choking to ice queen in two seconds flat. “Why would I be jealous?”

she asked calmly. I half smiled and pointed to myself. “Oh, get over

yourself.” She twisted to look at me. With her that close, I could

smell her hair. It was like oranges and something else. “It is a little

weird that she calls you doll face.”

“I know. I hate it.” I shrugged. “But it’s not my fault I’m so

hot.” I wasn’t.

“No, it’s not.” She didn’t seem to be kidding. Her fingertips

touched my cheek lightly. Like she was checking if I was really

there. Then she kissed me. Instinctively, I cupped her face in my

palm, drawing her in. I wasn’t letting go. Not like before. Her tongue

pushed insistently against my mouth. I allowed her in just to fight

back. We nearly fell over in our need to be closer even though our

bodies were already pressed together. She backed against the railing

and spread her legs enough for me to stand between them. My hips

seemed to grind into her of their own accord. She sucked my bottom

lip then bit hard enough to draw blood.

Fuck, I was going to die if I didn’t have her right there. I

finally slid a hand beneath her shirt. The material rose, exposing

her stomach. When I felt the bare skin pressed into mine, I glanced

down to see her unbuttoning my shirt with one hand while her other

twisted into my hair. She tipped her head back giving me her neck.

When I ran my tongue along her exposed skin, she jerked a little.

Then she tugged me closer by my hair. That was fucking hot. The

movement made the railing behind her shake. Glass shattered on the

pavement below. We ignored it. Then it happened again.

“Fuck,” I said. She started laughing. “What?”

“Did we just lose the beer?”

“Yep.” Damn.

“That killed it didn’t it?”

“Yep,” I murmured. “Fuck.”

• 76 •

Sex and SkateboardS

She pushed me back just a little. Her lips met mine again, but it

felt different. Like she was saying good-bye, slow and thorough, but

still good-bye. “I’m sorry.”

“I know. Me too.” I think we were sorry about different things.

I stepped a bit further back. My hands were shaking. I tried to button

my shirt. The buttons were way too big for the little holes.

“Come here.” She used my collar to bring me closer. Then she

started buttoning my shirt. With her head bent, her hair tickled my

face. “I’m not sure what’s wrong with me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t seem to stay away from you. I think you’re trouble.”

She was studying my now buttoned shirt.

“The good kind or the bad kind?”

“The kind I need to stay away from.” Fuck.

“Why don’t you then?” I already knew I was making her life

complicated. We both knew that. We were also having the same

issue. Neither of us could leave the other alone.

“I can’t,” she said. Her hand settled on my chest right over my

heart.

“Wes.” She looked at me. “If you want me to go away, I will.

But I don’t want to.” I was surprised to realize I was telling the truth.

“I don’t know what to do.”

“You could always go out with me.” Maybe if I just kept asking

she would.

“I can’t.”

“Seems like there’s a lot you can’t do.”

“I’m sorry.” Her hand fell and she stepped back. “I think we just

need to keep it simple.” She was mumbling, like she didn’t believe it.

“If that’s what you want.” We were way past simple.

“So, friends?” Her gaze dropped back to the floor. It was

probably the least sincere offer of friendship I’d ever gotten.

“Sure.”

The two of us just stood there staring at each other. Neither

believing what the other said. I was also damn sure that she was as

turned on as I was. And I was ready to explode. Making out is fun

and all, but it’s a bit more fun when it leads somewhere.

• 77 •

aShley bartlett

Her phone rang.

“Damn.” She pulled her phone out and answered the call.

“What, Trev?” There was a pause and then she looked pissed. “I

only asked you to watch him for an hour.” I could hear Trevor start

talking again. “So you just wanted an excuse to call me. Fine…

No, I’ll ask her right now.” Wes pulled the phone away from her

ear. “Trevor wants to know if you want to go pier fishing tomorrow

night.”

“Just me and Trevor?”

“No, everyone. Theo, Trevor, Jamie.” Wes had an issue with

frustration. When she was irritated at one person, she was irritated

at everyone. You could hear it in her voice. I’m not sure why I found

that sexy.

“How ‘bout you?”

That got her to smile. “Yeah, me too.”

“I’m there.” She lifted the phone to her ear to tell Trevor. “Tell

him thanks for inviting me.”

She nodded. “She’s in, Trev. She says thanks for inviting her…

He says you’re welcome,” she said to me. “No, I’m not telling her

that.” Back to Trevor. “And you have to tell Theo he’s gotta take a

nap if we’re going midnight fishing. He might listen to you. I’ll be

there soon.” She ended the call. “I should probably go.”

“Do you know yet why you came?”

“No.”

“Did you get what you were looking for?”

“I’m not sure.”

• 78 •

Sex and SkateboardS

Chapter nine

Three guys yelling back and forth to each other in Spanish

were set up about three quarters of the way down the pier.

They were wearing soccer jerseys and cargo shorts stained with

fish guts. It was freezing. They were crazy. I had on torn jeans, a

thermal, and my pea coat. Ollie had dressed me because I’d never

been fishing before.

Two of the three lights at the end of the pier were out. The

remaining one bathed Wes and her little family in an orange glow.

Trevor was bouncing between the poles to check them with an

exuberant Theo following him. Both radiated the same excitement.

Jamie was sprawled in a green canvas chair with a blanket and a

book. Wes leaned back against the same bench where we’d nearly

kissed only a week before. She was watching the poles too, but with

a calmer air.

“Having fun?” I called as I got closer.

“Tons.” Wes smiled and my stomach dropped. That was

becoming a familiar sensation.

“Catch anything yet?” I leaned against the bench next to her.

“Nothing good. Trev’s been here since seven catching bait.”

“Seven?” She nodded. “That’s like four hours.”

“He’s obsessed.”

“Jamie too?” Jamie looked about ready to die of boredom.

“No, she just got here.” Wes lowered her voice to an exaggerated

whisper. “I think she hates fishing. Never catches anything.”

• 79 •

aShley bartlett

“Wes, I’m sitting six feet from you,” Jamie called without

turning around. “At least turn away if you’re talking about me.”

Wes started grinning and turned her back to Jamie. “So she

really sucks, but she comes out here to indulge Trev.”

“I hate you.” Jamie still didn’t turn around.

“You guys should try for sincerity,” I said. “It might look good

on you.”

“Hmm.” Wes scrunched up her nose. “No, I don’t think it

would.” Jamie started laughing. Theo and Trevor finally realized I’d

joined them.

“Hey, Alden.” Trevor looked up from the line he was playing

with.

“Hey, Alden,” Theo mimicked him. He trotted over to us. “Are

you fishing too?”

“I guess. I’ve never been fishing.”

“Never?” Wes and Theo said together. I shook my head. They

were dressed almost identically. Again. Both wore a thick dark

sweater over a white T-shirt with grubby white Vans and had their

hair pulled back. Theo had a little wool jacket over his sweater. He

looked like a Gap commercial.

“Do you guys always dress alike?” They looked at each other.

“Wes told me what to wear. She said I need to dress warm,”

Theo explained.

“I didn’t realize we were dressed the same.” Wes seemed a

little disturbed.

“You guys do it all the time.” I thought they were just being

cute.

“Nuh-uh.” Very convincing, Wes.

“Uh-huh,” I responded in kind.

“I did a ponytail ‘cause Wes did.” Theo pulled at his pretty hair.

Wes stared down at him. “That’s why you wanted a ponytail?”

“Yeah. You’re my big sis.” She kept staring at him. He shrugged

and skipped back over to Trevor.

“How cute.”

“I always forget how much he looks up to me. It’s weird.”

“No, it isn’t. It’s adorable.”

• 80 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“Dude, you guys, I think there’s something on my pole,” Jamie

said. Her book and blanket dropped unceremoniously onto her chair

as she rushed to the pole. The end slowly dipped and straightened,

then repeated the movement.

“Come on, Jamie. It’s your line. It repels fish.” Trevor didn’t

bother to turn around.

“No, Trev. I think she has something.” Wes smiled roguishly.

“I do. I really do.” Jamie bounced on the balls of her feet.

“Set the hook, Jamie. Reel it in,” Wes said.

I followed Wes to the end of the pier. Trevor was still

unconvinced. With a sharp jerk, Jamie pulled her pole up and started

reeling.

“It’s heavy. I bet I got a shark.” That made Trevor turn around.

He grabbed the light and shone it into the water. Wes lifted Theo

and the three of us looked over the edge. The line was centered in a

mass of kelp tangled around one of the pillars that disappeared into

the waves.

“Looks like it’s under the seaweed,” Wes said.

“Totally, babe. Reel it in hard. Bring it to the surface.” Now

Trevor was smiling just like Wes. Whatever they were up to it

wasn’t good.

“All right. It’s heavy, you guys.” Jamie wrestled with the line.

“Is someone gonna get the net?” Trevor and Wes didn’t move. She

wrestled with her line and waited for help that wasn’t coming.

“Jamie, you got kelp,” Theo finally said.

“No way,” she protested. The seaweed started to rise above the

water attached to the line. “Man.”

The light switched off and I looked up in time to see Wes set

Theo back down then erupt into laughter with Trevor. They high-

fived each other before both doubled over.

“You guys knew,” Jamie screamed. “That’s mean.”

“That’s pretty messed up, you guys.” They were unmoved by

my criticism. The effort to stand became too much so they leaned

against each other still howling.

Theo joined Jamie and patted her arm. “It’s okay, Jamie. Next

time you’ll get a shark.” He was too damn sweet.

• 81 •

aShley bartlett

“Thanks, honey.” Jamie abandoned the pole, its line still

hanging over the edge. “Come here, T.” She glared at Trevor. “Trev

will clean my line.” She sat back in her chair and Theo climbed into

her lap.

“You did real good setting the hook and stuff.” Theo continued

to comfort her.

“I thought so too.” The pair settled in to watch.

Wes and Trevor got their giggling under control enough to

reel the line in. They set about the task of removing the kelp and

throwing it into the lone trashcan.

“Alden, you want to rig this with me? It’ll be your pole.” Wes

was holding the line in one hand and a knife in the other. A couple

butchered sardines rested on the railing in front of her.

“No, thanks.”

“What?” Apparently, she wasn’t expecting an argument.

“I don’t think I want you or Trevor teaching me to fish.” Trevor

turned when he heard his name and he and Wes just stared at me.

Jamie started laughing.

“Why?”

“Are you kidding? I saw what you guys did to Jamie.” Even

though I tried to keep it in check, I was grinning.

“Oh, whatever,” she scoffed when she realized I wasn’t serious.

“Get over here.”

“Fine. What do I do?” She let me help attach a couple hooks

and weights to the line.

“You want me to put on the bait for you?” Wes pointed at the

sardines with fluid leaking from their bellies. It was a test.

“I got it, thanks.” I chose a chunk and slid it on the bottom

hook. Hey, I was a chef. Raw fish wasn’t going to get me going.

I was pretty sure she was impressed. When each hook was baited,

Wes walked me to the side of the pier.

“You know how to cast?” I shook my head. “All right, hold

the pole in your hand and with the other, grip right here.” She

placed my right hand above the reel. “Hook your finger around

the line and flip this up.” Her right hand now rested lightly on top

of mine so she could demonstrate the appropriate way to hold the

• 82 •

Sex and SkateboardS

line. With her other hand she flipped up a piece of metal holding

the line in place.

“Got it.”

“So you check behind you before you cast.” We both looked

behind us at the deserted pier. Theo was still sitting with Jamie, and

Trevor was pacing back and forth between the poles. “Now you’re

going to cast it sideways. Brace the pole against your forearm, and

when you toss it out, let go of the line with your finger. Once the

line sinks, you put this back down.” She indicated the piece of metal

she’d just flipped up.

“All right.” I held the pole at the indicated angle and let the line

fly like I was told.

“Awesome.” There was a splash and my line slowed a bit. She

was still standing close with her hand on my forearm. The line was

still going so I stopped it like I’d been told. “Now you set your pole

down and wait. Keep an eye on it. If the tip goes down really sharply

then you probably have something. But don’t get too excited ‘cause

the waves will also make it move a bit.”

“So what do we do now?”

“Wait.”

❖

“Wes, I’m cold.” Theo burrowed into her.

“Are you sleepy?” She brushed a rebellious curl off his

forehead.

“No. Just cold.” He pushed his face further into her stomach.

“You want to know a trick to keep warm?” I knelt next to him.

“Okay.” He abandoned Wes to stand in front of me.

“If you flip your collar up, it will keep your neck warm.” I

popped his collar so it sheltered his neck. “And if you take down

your ponytail, your hair will keep your ears warm.” He tugged out

his hair tie and handed it to Wes. I finger combed his hair forward so

it covered his ears. “Better?”

“Yeah,” he said with a shy smile. “Thanks.”

Wes and I watched him run back to Jamie.

• 83 •

aShley bartlett

“You’re good with him.”

“I’m winging it.”

“Then your instincts are good.”

“Thanks.” Fleetingly, she ran her hand down my arm. “He’s

right. It’s freezing.” It was nearing midnight and a fog was rolling

in.

“Yeah, it’s pretty cold.” Wes was still just wearing a sweater.

“You want my jacket?”

She looked at me like I was crazy. “Then you’ll freeze.” At my

shrug, she smiled. “Chivalrous is cute on you.”

“Great, I always wanted to be cute,” I said with a grimace.

“Besides, if I catch something I won’t be able to do anything if

I’m wearing a jacket.”

“How about my thermal? I’ve got a shirt under it.”

“No, I’m all right.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “I’m

just glad I made Theo wear a coat.”

“Come on, Wes.” I could tell she wasn’t going to give in. “Here.

Hold this.” I shrugged the jacket down my arms and handed it to her.

Then I stripped off the long sleeve under it.

“Seriously. I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” I took my jacket back and handed her the

shirt.

“Thanks.” Reluctantly, she took the thermal. I held her sweater

while she put on my shirt. It was a bit long for her, but it was still

tight enough to layer her sweater over it.

“Better?”

“Much.”

“Hey, Wes. You might have something,” Trevor called as Wes

pulled the garment over her head.

“No way.” We went to her pole. After watching the tip dip

abruptly a few times Wes jerked the pole back and started reeling.

“Oh, yeah. I way got something.”

“What is it?” Trevor peered into the water.

“Dude, it’s so a shark,” she responded.

“Move over, Trev. I got the light.” Jamie muscled Trevor out of

the way to illuminate the dark water.

• 84 •

Sex and SkateboardS

The last six feet of the pier didn’t have railings. Instead, wood

boards created a waist-high wall. Theo was trying to jump up, but

there was no way for him to see.

“Hey, Theo.” He turned toward me. “You want me to lift you?”

“Yeah.”

We moved down far enough so that everyone else would have

room to maneuver. Trevor was behind us untangling the line on the

crab net. Below us, we could barely see the line as it moved in a

circle through the water.

“Whoa. Look,” Theo shouted and pointed. Dark fins were

visible for a second before they dipped back below the surface. “Did

you see that?” He glanced back at me.

“Yeah. That’s way cool, huh?”

He nodded then returned his attention to the water.

Next to us, Trevor started lowering the net. “Keep it steady,

Wes.”

“I’m trying, but I can’t see it.” She gave Jamie the death look.

“I can’t keep the light on it if it keeps moving,” Jamie tossed

back.

“Just shut up and keep it steady. Both of you.” Trevor dropped

the net below the surface. Just as quickly, he started pulling it up.

“Dude, I missed it.”

“There it is.” Theo pointed. The shark turned on its side

displaying the line between dark gray and smooth white. “Cool.”

Trevor dipped the net again and pulled up. “Got it. Got it. Help

me with this.”

Wes set down her pole and started pulling the rope up with

Trevor. “Theo, when we pull this up you need to stay back.”

“Why?”

“’Cause I don’t want it to bite you.”

When the net came over the side, I backed up with Theo still in

my arms. Wes grabbed the tail and dropped it in a clear area.

“It’s a female.” She sounded pissed. “It swallowed the hook.”

“Guess it was hungry,” Trevor responded ingeniously.

“You know what that means.” Jamie joined them in a semicircle

around the shark. “Guess we’re having shark tomorrow.”

• 85 •

aShley bartlett

I set Theo down and we joined them, standing a couple feet

away. Theo leaned back against me and I set my hands on his

shoulders.

“All right, get me the knife.” Wes pushed up her sleeves and

held out her hand.

Jamie handed her the knife and Trevor lightly stepped on its

head.

Wes sliced through the line that disappeared in its mouth. Then

she kneeled down and quickly cut the head off. It sounded like she

was sawing through sandpaper rather than skin and cartilage. “Back

up, Trev.” He jumped out of the way. She grabbed the tail and held

the body over the water, shaking it so it would bleed out. “Theo, stay

with Alden. The head can still bite.”

“Okay, Wes.” The severed end of the head was facing toward

Theo and me. The bloody muscles were flexing, like it was gasping

for air. “Does it hurt the shark?” Theo asked me, his eyes still riveted

to the head.

“Not anymore. Your sister did it quick so it wouldn’t hurt.”

“Why is it moving?” The jaws started opening and closing.

“There’s something called nerves in the head that make it do

that.”

Wes gave the body one last shake and set it back on the pier.

Efficiently, she cut the belly open. Blood and white fluid seeped from

the wound. The knife dropped to the pier and Wes pawed through

the organs until she found what she was looking for. A long, creamy

white sac a little bigger than her hand. She ran her fingers over it.

“Wes? Should we throw it back?” For the first time, Trevor

didn’t sound excited. They were afraid it was pregnant.

“No, we’re good,” she said with relief. With the panache of

a surgeon, Wes picked up her knife and stripped the shark of its

innards. As a chef, I could appreciate how efficiently she gutted it.

Actually, I found it kind of sexy. I was a little warped.

“See if you can find the rig,” Trevor joked, his humor restored

now that he knew they hadn’t killed the next generation.

“You mean this rig?” Wes triumphantly handed him some

slimy hooks tied together.

• 86 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“Gross.” He held the hook up to the light and inspected the

entrails hanging from it.

Once finished with disemboweling the fish, Wes began cleaning

up. Each organ made a nice splash as Wes tossed it over the railing.

She wiped the knife on the railing. For a second, she looked like she

was going to just throw it on top of their gear, but with a glance at

Theo, she slid it into a sheath and properly stowed it. Her hands and

arms were covered to the elbow with shark gunk. With a jerk of her

arms, she tried unsuccessfully to fling it off.

“Heads up, Wes.” Trevor threw a towel to her.

“Thanks.” A look of disgust fixed itself to her beautiful face. “I

don’t mind gutting it, but this is just wrong.”

“Wes?” Theo was still leaning against me.

“Yeah?” The dirty towel landed on top of the gear.

“I gotta pee.”

“Good timing, T. I want to wash my hands.” She smelled them.

“That’s rank. Anyone want to walk with us? That bathroom scares

me.”“I’ll go with you guys.” I finally let Theo go. The shark head

was still on the pier, but he went straight to Wes.

“Cool.” The three of us headed down the pier with Theo running

ahead then back to us. In his high-pitched voice he recounted blow-

by-blow the tale of his amazing sister the shark catcher. At the end

of the pier was a cement structure that looked like it could survive

a nuclear attack.

They sauntered in and I followed closely behind. The bathroom

was freaky. A couple of flickering lights illuminated the stalls, a single cracked mirror, and sinks that had seen better centuries. The

entire place looked ideal for filming a horror flick. Wes kicked all

the stall doors open to make sure it was empty then let Theo run in

to do his business.

After washing her hands, she called to Theo, “T, we’re going

to be outside waiting.”

“Okay.” His voice echoed off the walls.

We’d only been out half a minute before Theo ran out of the

bathroom.

• 87 •

aShley bartlett

“You wash your hands?” Wes asked.

“Yep. By myself.”

I couldn’t imagine who would have helped him.

“Good job.”

With that, we started back down the pier. Where the sand

became the waves beneath us, we stopped by some unspoken

agreement. Theo climbed onto the railing to stare at the water, and

Wes stood directly behind him, holding him in place. Moonlight

caught on the cresting waves below us stretching along the shore

until it disappeared. Everything else remained dark except for that

streak of silver. It seemed to absorb the light rather than reflect it.

“That’s pretty.” Only a five-year-old could use so few words to

describe the ocean in moonlight.

In response, Wes ruffled his hair. Our shoulders just barely

touched so that the three of us were linked.

“All right. You guys ready to head back?”

I wasn’t sure I wanted to, but I agreed anyway. Theo nodded

and took off down the pier again.

“We can leave T with Trev and Jamie and walk on the beach if

you want.” Wes stared straight ahead, keeping an eye on Theo.

“Sure. That’d be cool,” I said even though I didn’t know why

she would want to walk with me. Moonlit beaches were reserved for

old couples and young lovers. Neither applied.

• 88 •

Sex and SkateboardS

Chapter ten

When we reached the end of the pier, Trevor was waiting

with a pole for Theo to help cast. Satisfied that he was

occupied, Wes grabbed my hand and pulled me back down the pier.

She called to them as we walked away, “Guys, we’ll be back. We’re

going for a walk.”

They nodded in our direction before Trevor resumed wildly

gesturing the proper technique for casting on the pier. Theo mimed

the action, earning him a hearty pat on the back. I glanced at Wes

watching him. The look on her face was enough to break my heart.

She seriously loved the kid.

A second later, she turned and continued yanking me down the

pier. When we stepped onto the sand, my feet sank and the chill

seeped into my shoes.

“Damn, it’s cold out here.” I flipped up the collar on my pea

coat and stuffed my hands in my pockets. Wes linked her arm

through mine and directed me into the dark under the pier.

“You should feel it in January.” She glanced down pensively at

her foot. “I can’t feel my big toe.”

Experimentally, I wiggled my toes. “Me either.” Halfway down

to the water I stopped, leaned against one of the wooden pillars, and

held open my coat. “Put your hands in my jacket. It’s warm.” Swear,

I was just being nice.

Wes looked at me like I was crazy.

“I’m serious. Come on.”

• 89 •

aShley bartlett

“All right.” I could tell she was skeptical, but she leaned closer

to me and threaded her arms around my waist. The curve of her lips

lifted into a small smile that was just barely visible in the sparse

light. There was a tug at the back of my shirt and I tensed up trying

to pull away. She pressed her palms against the bare skin of my

lower back.

“Oh, shit, that’s freezing.” My voice was a bit higher than usual.

“Mmm, you’re right. You are warm.”

“It’s my main attribute.” I struggled to keep my breathing even.

I was torn between leaning into the sensation of her hands on me

and recoiling from the cold. When her palms had leeched all the

warmth from my back she drew her hands along my sides to rest

them on my stomach. The feather-light touch just below my ribs

made me jump.

“No way.” Her grin widened until I could see her one dimple.

“Are you ticklish?”

“No,” I said quickly. She immediately squeezed the soft spot

between my hips and ribs. I jumped about and yelped. “No fair.” I

tried to grab her hands and remove them from my shirt, but she did

it again. “Stop, stop. Please.” There was no mercy.

She started laughing so I did too. My back was pressed into the

pillar again so I couldn’t get away from her. Not that I didn’t try.

With every movement, she pinned me harder. I finally got purchase

on one hand, but she twisted out of my grasp until she had both my

wrists trapped. She pulled down on them so I would stop struggling.

The movement brought me within an inch of her face. Bad idea. I

could smell oranges in her hair like before, but also a sweet spice like

Christmas. It seemed her eyes were the only source of illumination

under the pier. All I could see was blue-green light drawing me in.

I leaned closer until my lips were poised over hers. Warm breath

cascaded over my mouth. The heat radiating from her scorched me

and I knew I would never feel cold again.

“Alden, don’t,” she said. The words brushed across my lips like

a wistful caress.

“Why?” I didn’t pull away. I couldn’t. Her eyes paralyzed me.

“You know why.”

• 90 •

Sex and SkateboardS

I did. I knew exactly why. I did it anyway. If her breath scorched,

the kiss incinerated. All I could think about was that she was kissing

me back. Then I just stopped thinking. She dropped my hands and

I slid them into her hair. Her lips tasted the same as before—kind

of salty and sweet. The ocean couldn’t be washed off her. It was

in her blood. Where my thumb rested against her neck I could feel

the push-pull of the waves pumping through her veins. Her hands

migrated to my back again just low enough to tuck her fingers under

the waistband of my boxers.

“Fuck.” I was pretty sure I only stayed standing because she

was holding me there. “I have a proposition.”

“You want to proposition me? I’m sure this will be good.”

There was some serious sarcasm in her voice. Under that, I could

tell she wanted me bad.

Here goes. “Come home with me.” She was smiling. “No,

seriously. You want to. You know I want to. We can have rules if you

want. Break my heart if you feel the need. Just please…I have to touch

you or I think I’ll go crazy.” She needed convincing, I could tell.

“What kind of rules?” Her fingers were still stuck in my boxers.

While we talked, she dragged them back and forth at an agonizingly

slow pace.

“Whatever kind you want.” It would probably kill me, but why

not? I’d do anything she wanted.

“Are you serious?” Her hands stilled.

“Or no rules. We could just get carried away.” I grinned. “That

could be fun too.” I kissed her again. Kissed her until I knew there

wasn’t much sense left in her head. Kissed her until those hands

started moving again. I’d take that as a yes. I did a mental woo-hoo.

Not that I was sure what the hell was going on.

“One night.” Ouch. “One night to try to get you out of my

head.”

“I don’t think one night will get you out of mine.” But worth

a shot.

“I’m not sure I can give you more than that,” she said and

shrugged. It hurt. She knew it was killing me. I nodded. That pain

should have slowed me down. It didn’t. When her lips took mine

• 91 •

aShley bartlett

again, I forgot. I forgot about everything. Her hands slid up and

cupped my breasts, twisting and pulling at my nipples. I leaned my

head back and bit my lip to hold back a groan. Weston took the

opportunity to lick my neck from the collar of my shirt up to the

edge of my jaw.

“That’s it.” I grabbed her arms and removed the questing hands

from my shirt. Then I pinned them to her sides and kissed her. I walked

forward forcing her back until she was up against a pillar. I restrained

myself as long as possible before I touched my tongue to hers. Her

mouth was warm and soft. Our bodies were still separated by a few

inches of air. The only points of contact were our lips and hands. Wes

grabbed my jacket and yanked me closer. Our bodies cleaved together.

I pressed my thigh between her legs, making her moan.

“Alden, stop. Fuck,” she breathed before pushing my shoulders

back so I couldn’t kiss her anymore. From the waist down we were

still melded together.

“You started it,” I complained indignantly.

She held my shoulders back so I couldn’t get any closer. “We

can’t make out under the pier,” she said.

I smiled in what was hopefully a charming way. “Uh-huh. See,

we got the pier and that’s half the challenge. Now we just need to

make out.” I leaned down and captured her mouth again. My tongue

traced along her bottom lip before I sucked it into my mouth. There

is something about making out under a pier that is just so fifteen-

years-old-and-horny that you can’t resist doing it.

I relinquished the soft skin to whisper, “Want to get out of

here? I promise what I have planned is way more fun than fishing

on the pier.”

She bit her lip and nodded. “Let me give Trevor my car keys.

I’ll be right back.”

❖

I thought I was going to die on the drive to Weston’s. Restraint’s

not my strong suit. Not hers either. Two blocks from the house, her

• 92 •

Sex and SkateboardS

seatbelt was off and she was nearly in my lap. I struggled to watch

the road as Wes licked the top of my ear then bit the lobe.

When she pushed her tongue inside my ear, I gasped. My spine

tingled. “Fuck. I’m trying to drive here.”

She laughed, a smooth, deep noise in her throat. The sound

made my clit twitch, bringing to my attention the pressure from the

seam of my boxers. The advantage of sagging your pants is that

usually they’re low enough to eliminate that problem. If you sit at

the wrong angle, you’re screwed. I was screwed.

“Stop, stop. Need to drive.” I pushed her back with one hand.

“Please.” I tried to focus my blurry vision on the road. “Fuck, I think

I’m about to come.”

Reluctantly, Wes slid back to her seat. I risked a glance in her

direction. Her hand twitched on her thigh, and the slightly belligerent

look on her face inspired me to study the road with fervor.

I pushed back in my seat a fraction of an inch so my underwear

would stop rubbing. My knuckles were white on the steering wheel

with the effort of continuing to drive as my body melted. Wes wasn’t

even touching me anymore, but my nerve endings were on fire. We

got to her house and I pulled my truck into the driveway. In one

movement, the brake was on, my seatbelt was off, and I was out of

the car. She watched me curiously.

“Get out of the truck,” I said loud enough for her to hear me

through the window. She looked at me like I was crazy. “We’re not

fucking on my front seat, and if I’m within touching distance I can’t

promise much, so get out of the truck.”

Wes got out and slammed the door as I came around to her side.

“You can’t touch me either.” She held out her arm to push me away.

“Besides, I need a shower.”

“What? Why?” That was like five more minutes of waiting.

“We were just fishing.”

“So?”

“So I gutted a shark.”

“Fine.” That made sense. I tried for a stubborn pout. She laughed.

At the door, Wes turned to put the key in the lock. I brushed her

hair aside enough to suck on the patch of skin at the nape of her neck.

• 93 •

aShley bartlett

She shuddered and pulled away. “If you want to do this inside,

you better stop.”

I just laughed.

Wes pushed the door open. There were no lights on in the house.

She pushed the coat off my shoulders and tossed it in the direction

of the closet. I followed her up the stairs so close behind her we

almost fell back down. In the hallway, I cupped her breasts forcing

her to push back into me. She groaned and pulled away holding me

at arm’s length until we were in her room with the door closed.

“Stay,” she commanded in a tone slightly better than one uses

with a dog. I think I whined in response.

My back was glued to the door. Her sweater dropped to the

ground. My thermal followed. I decided it would be prudent to stay

put. The T-shirt was next. My hands were sweating. They slid down

the door. She lost her bra. There was something so damn sexy about

a chick wearing nothing but boxers and jeans. The jeans were tight

and slung low enough to show a couple inches of her boxer briefs.

I wear boxers, the others are too tight, but I like the view and Wes

made them look damn good. Her hips rose above the tight material

creating shadows across her smooth skin. One of her shoes hit me

in the leg.

“Stop staring.” The other shoe hit me in the stomach.

“Uh-uh. I can’t.”

She leaned against the doorframe of the bathroom to peel off

her jeans. Still wearing her boxer briefs, she disappeared through

the doorway. I waited, attempting to count to ten. The underwear

were tossed out the door. Six, I made it to six. The shower turned

on. In the few seconds it took to cross the room Wes was already in

the shower.

“You can’t come in.”

“Why not?” I was taking off my shoes.

“’Cause I said.”

“I’m watching then.”

“No, you aren’t.”

“Yes, I am. You watched me shower.”

“That was different.”

• 94 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“Too bad.” I adopted a good stance to watch. Feet planted, my

thumb tucked into the waistband of my jeans, my other hand rested

on my stomach under my shirt. As she washed, my hand drifted

aimlessly up and down. The muscles in my stomach started to flutter

so I stopped. I remembered the shower Wes had witnessed. The way

I’d gotten so turned on having her watch me. I think she was feeling

the same way. I sure as hell was. The water shut off. When she

stepped out toweling her hair dry, I panicked. For weeks, I couldn’t

sleep properly, I’d been constantly wet, I’d done everything possible

to get her just talking to me, and then there she was standing in front

of me with nothing except a towel. Since she was drying her hair

with it, there wasn’t much coverage. Fuck, she was sexy. The lines

of her ribs that tilted up into perfect breasts with dark pink, almost

brown nipples. Her skin was an unblemished gold highlighted by a

light dust of freckles down her nose and across her shoulders. She

looked too good, too perfect, too damn sexy. That’s what made me

panic.

When she crossed the room and stopped in front of me, all other

thoughts fled. That towel hung between us, a tenuous connection. It

landed on my now bare feet. Her body pressed against mine. Warm,

wet skin against cool denim.

“You’re getting my clothes wet.”

“Damn right.” Her tongue traced along my bottom lip. “Now

lose them.”

I took a step back. Those damn eyes studied every inch of skin

I exposed until there was nothing left, just me. Solid wood of the

bed frame hit my calves. I didn’t remember walking backward. She

pushed me down, then hovered a breath above me. A knee planted

on either side framed her sex above my stomach. I waited to see if

she would move. Her control was impeccable. I traced my fingertips

up the outside of her thighs, past her hips, around her belly button,

writing a story on her skin. Goose bumps trailed in the wake of

my touch. When I allowed my palms to graze the hard tips of her

nipples, her breathing became erratic. Still she maintained her

stance, suspended above me. She seemed fascinated by the muscles

twitching in my stomach the more I touched her. I had no secrets.

• 95 •

aShley bartlett

My damn body described in every movement how much I was

holding in.

“Do you know how much I want you?” she said.

All I could do was shake my head. Long fingers wrapped

around my wrist and dragged me back down her flesh to the apex

of her thighs. Moisture saturated my hand with a simple touch. Her

eyes flickered shut when I traced a finger around her clit.

“You’re going to,” she breathed as I pressed hard enough to

make her twitch. “Oh, fuck.” I circled again. “Make me come.”

“Oh, no. Not that, not yet.” I stopped touching her long enough

to cup both my hands behind her neck, pull her head down, and kiss

her thoroughly before releasing her. In one smooth motion, I slid

beneath her hooking my arms around her thighs. I bit the patch of

shaved skin. She began to writhe above me. The smell of her desire

seeped into me. I waited.

“Please, Alden,” Wes murmured as she lost patience.

So I took her into my mouth. I sucked on her flesh until she

screamed. Her fingers were twitching in my hair. I licked the length

of her clit, allowing my tongue ring to catch and drag, teasing until a

sob escaped her. The muscles in her legs tightened against my grip.

I continued my devotions until I couldn’t feel a damn thing except

the pressure of her thighs against my head and the soft skin filling

my mouth and the liquid dripping down my throat. The second

before she exploded, I let go and pushed my fingers deep inside

her, milking her orgasm with my tongue and hands until her cries

softened to murmurs and she collapsed onto the bed.

I thought I was fine. I really did. The way she’d fallen, her

lips were inches away, her leg was pressed between mine, and one

perfect hand rested between my breasts. I was watching that hand

when I felt her shift. A warm tongue traced along the edge of my ear.

A shiver spread through my body. That was my spot. How did she

know that? My heart rate went through the roof. She had to feel it

with her palm pressed to my chest.

“You like that?” Her tone was gentle, mocking, and so damn

sexy.

“A bit,” I managed to respond.

• 96 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“You’re shaved too.” The hand on my chest slid down and

started tracing the edge of where I should have had hair.

“You noticed.”

Her hand continued to wander, smoothing down my thigh and

back up again, scratching slowly, carefully along my skin. I shivered

every time she stopped so close to where I wanted her. When she

finally, finally slid warm fingers through the wetness, I arched off

the bed. She kissed me as she teased me. Her tongue tracing over my

lips desperately, fleetingly, pushing into my mouth and pulling away.

The tips of her fingers played at my entrance and I whimpered. I was

close, so close that I knew the second she slid inside I would come,

and I did. Filled, pushed to the point of breaking, control out the

fucking window came with her pressed against my sweat-slicked

skin, pressed deep inside me so all I knew was her.

• 97 •

• 98 •

Sex and SkateboardS

Chapter eleven

Sweat soaked through my boxers, drenching the waistband

of my jeans. The white T-shirt I was wearing also clung

to my damp skin. With every drop into the half pipe, the sea air

buffeted my body making my shirt flap against my back until I came

to rest on the other side of the ramp. My session had started with

simple stalls, resting the nose of my board against the pipe built into

the top of the ramp, holding and dropping in again.

Now, hours later, I was desperately practicing tricks I’d done

for years just to sink into the monotony, the repetition I knew. Grinds

where my board would straddle the edge as it slid away beneath me,

or where I’d balance at just the right angle to glide on one truck

before spinning back onto the ramp and continue to the other side.

Anything, anything to sweat it out, sweat her out.

I didn’t feel it, though. Not the ramp or the pipe or the grip tape

when I touched my board. She ruined me so the only things I felt

were soft skin and a different sort of wetness, the silky, heady kind.

That didn’t make me stop trying. Used to be, when I skated I was

consumed by the speed and rush when I became airborne, lost as my

trucks slid over a waxed bar. Instead, I felt nothing.

After a particularly flamboyant spin that I couldn’t land, I

skidded down the ramp on my knees. My jeans, which had been

wearing thin, finally tore. My knee, exposed now, scraped the ramp

leaving behind a layer of skin. Shit, that stung. I’d already pulled a

similar number on my elbow and I’d smacked the back of my head

• 99 •

aShley bartlett

pretty good. Fuck that. I collected my board, couldn’t find my pride

so I left without it.

“Ollie, you here?” I yelled as I pushed through the backdoor

of Delma’s.

“In my office.”

I followed the sound of her voice until I found her working at

her laptop. “Hey.” Exhausted, I slumped into a chair.

“Shit. What happened to you?” She came around the side of the

desk to gawk at me.

“I was skating.”

“You’re bleeding everywhere.”

“I fell.” She was right, but my jeans were soaking it up and my

elbow was already scabbing over. Perspiration dripped from my hair

into my eyes. I pushed my hair back, then used my sleeve to wipe

my face.

“You look like hell.” Her nose wrinkled. Ollie hated when I got

all sweaty.

“Come on. I’ll drive you home.” It wasn’t an option.

“It’s cool. I got my board.”

“Get your ass moving, McKenna.” Ollie was so touchy.

“Fine.”

“Wait.” She disappeared.

“Now what?”

“Put that on your knee.” A towel was tossed through the

doorway and landed on my lap.

I complied, cinching the towel right below my knee where it

bled the most. Then I followed her to the car. All I wanted was a

shower and sleep. In the front seat, I leaned back and closed my

eyes.

“We’re here.” Ollie shook my shoulder a little to wake me.

“Cool. Thanks for the ride.” When I got out Ollie did too.

“What are you doing?”

“I know you’re not going to clean up your knee or elbow, so I

am.”

“Shit, dude. I’m capable of taking care of myself.”

• 100 •

Sex and SkateboardS

All she did was roll her eyes and keep walking. Whatever.

I left Ollie on my couch and took a shower. A long shower. My

body ached, not from skating for hours or staying up most of the

night, rather the ache in my head, the one from wanting Wes, was

spreading through me. The shower didn’t make it stop.

Covered only by the towel around my waist, I emerged from

the bathroom. Ollie waited until I had boxers and a shirt on then

forced me back into the bathroom. She rooted around under the sink

until she found a bottle of peroxide and some Band-Aids.

“Let me see that.” There was an undercurrent of frustration in

her voice that I didn’t get.

I sat on the counter and let her inspect my leg. The gash

extended from the bottom half of my knee about four inches down

my shin. Most of the bleeding had stopped in the shower, leaving

the skin pink and raw, but blood still seeped from a couple places.

“Hold your knee over the sink.”

“I don’t want to.” I didn’t like peroxide.

“Don’t be a girl. It won’t sting.”

In response, I pursed my lips and shook my head. That made

her grin. With surprising strength, she cupped a hand around my calf

and spun me around on the counter. I closed my eyes and waited.

She poured peroxide straight from the bottle until half my leg was

dripping. Then she dabbed around the scrape to get rid of the excess.

“Don’t touch that. It needs to dry. Let me see your elbow now.”

“Ollie, it’s fine. It isn’t even bleeding anymore.”

“You still need to clean it.”

“I took a shower.”

She rolled her eyes again. “I’m sure that killed whatever lives

on those skate ramps.”

“Whatever, dude.” I turned my arm so she could look at my

elbow. “See, it’s fine.”

“Sure it is.” With that, she saturated my elbow with peroxide

too. It didn’t sting. My aversion was probably psychological. “Glow

in the dark?” She inspected one of my boxes of Band-Aids.

“Don’t mock my Band-Aids.”

“Is your knee dry yet?”

• 101 •

aShley bartlett

“I think so.” Carefully, I probed it. “Yeah.”

Ollie placed a large square Band-Aid right below my knee

where the gash was the worst. Under that she placed two more

across my shin where it was still bleeding. After inspecting my

elbow again, she decided it didn’t need any further attention.

“There. You’re all set.”

“Thanks, Ollie.” I stood. “I’m gonna find pants.” She nodded and

started putting stuff away. I pulled on a fresh pair of jeans, collapsed

on the couch, and waited for Ollie. I might have fallen asleep again.

“Now, McKenna, you can tell me what the hell is wrong with

you.” I opened my eyes to find her standing in front of me with her

hands on her hips looking royally pissed.

“Huh?”

“You only skate until you’re bloody and falling down when

something is going on in that head of yours. I want to know.” We’d

had this conversation before. Ollie thought it was self-destructive. I

thought it was healthier than a lot of other things.

“Nothing.”

“Tell me.” Serious voice. Now I was in for it.

“I umm…” I kiss and tell. So did Ollie. We never left out any

sordid details. That might have been wrong, but it was what we did.

For once, I had no desire to spill. Like if I shared it wouldn’t be real,

or worse, it would. Still, I had to tell her something. “It’s just Wes.”

“Did something happen when you were fishing?”

“No,” I said too fast. “Well, yes. We slept together.”

“What?” she screamed.

“Ollie, don’t, all right? I just…I just don’t want to talk about

it.” Something in my tone must have gotten to her because she

opened then closed her mouth and nodded. I just couldn’t tell Ollie.

I couldn’t tell her that when I left I knew that Wes regretted it,

regretted me, and that hurt like fucking hell.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m cool.” She raised an eyebrow. “All right. I’m terrible. I

just don’t want to talk.”

“Fine.” Uh-oh, that meant she was pissed.

“Come on. It’s not you. I just need to sulk.”

• 102 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“Alone or with me?” With a question like that there was only

one answer. Like if a chick asks if she looks fat, automatic response,

no.

“Alone.” Wrong answer.

“I love you.” She ruffled my wet hair. “Call me.”

“I will.”

❖

A week later, Wes called.

“Hey, Alden.” Her voice cut through me, immediately turning

every cell into fire. My hands started sweating and I nearly dropped

the phone.

“Hey.”

“I, uh, haven’t seen you at Lucy’s.”

“I’ve been working a lot.” It was true, but we both knew that

wasn’t the reason. I’d been avoiding the place. When a girl informs

you that you’re having a one-night stand, it’s a little rude to keep

following her around. Best to disappear for a while. Especially if

you don’t have anything to offer her.

“Oh.” She paused. “Theo is having a sleepover at his friend’s

tomorrow.” So? “And the waves down the coast are supposed to be

killer. Doyouwannacome?” she asked in a rush.

“Don’t you want to take Trevor or Jamie?”

“No. I want you.” Fuck, did she have to say it like that?

“Okay.” Like I had a choice.

A whoosh of air came over the line, like she let out a big breath.

“For real?”

“Yeah, what time?” I was a masochist.

“Come over at one. We can drop Theo off then drive down.”

“I’ll be there.”

❖

As I waited on her doorstep I remembered the last time I’d rung

her doorbell. It was hard not to because my life, it seemed like, had

• 103 •

aShley bartlett

changed then. I was praying in a way that it was about to change

again. My week of solitude had shown me one thing. What it felt

like to truly hunger for someone. What my life could be without

her, a dull ache in my belly that could only be filled with one kind

of sustenance.

“Who’s there?” a small voice called through the door.

“It’s Alden.” The lock clicked and the door swung wide.

“Hi.” Theo stood there grinning. “I asked like Wes told me.”

“Good job.” I ruffled his hair to reassure him of his good deed.

“Wes is out back. She’s waxing her board.” He took my hand

and towed me into the kitchen.

Through the open back door I could see Wes. She looked

fuckin’ hot. The sleeves of her shirt were pushed up so I could see

the play of muscles in her arms as she massaged the wax into her

board. Damn.

“Did you eat?” Theo climbed up to the table. He kneeled on

one of the chairs and surveyed the spread in front of him. Peanut

butter, bread, jam, the essentials.

“Uh, no. I guess not.” Was Red Bull food?

“You gotta. It’s fuel.” He looked at me like I should have

known. “Wes said so.”

“Then it must be true,” I said seriously.

“Uh huh. She knows everything.” We both nodded. “Do you

want PB and J? I can make it.”

“That sounds great.” I wasn’t hungry and I hadn’t eaten a

peanut butter sandwich since I was about seven. “We should make

one for Wes too.”

“Okay.” A big smile took over his face. That killed me, the way

he smiled. It was like watching a little Wes.

“Can you open this?” He handed the bread to me.

“Sure.” I pulled the plastic tab off and handed the bag back to

him. Wheat bread. Not many kids like that. With his small hands,

he pulled out six slices of bread, one at a time, and set them on the

cutting board in front of him. I opened the peanut butter and set the

open container next to the cutting board.

• 104 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“Thanks.” With precision, he took up a butter knife and started

swiping peanut butter over the bread in front of him. He was

concentrating hard, if his tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth

was any indication. “Can you open this?” He handed me the jam.

“Sure.” My role was clearly that of assistant, one I was happy

to fill. “Do you need me to do anything else?”

“Prolly.” He nodded. Slowly, he placed the sticky sides of the

bread together. “’Cause I can’t cut them.” A dramatic frown crossed

his face complete with a furrowed brow and pouty lips. Life was

tough as a five-year-old.

“Not a problem.” I grabbed a big kid knife from the counter.

“How do you want them cut?”

“Like this.” He crossed his hands in an X.

“Like this?” I indicated the cuts with the knife.

“Yeah.”

With the necessary approval, I cut each sandwich as he carefully

placed them in front of me. His knuckles were painted dark red from

the mouth of the jam jar.

“Hey, Theo, your hands are sticky.” He glanced at his palms.

“On the other side, dude.” He flipped them and grinned.

“I got jam on ‘em.” Clearly, he wasn’t concerned.

I picked up the knife that was still covered in peanut butter and

swiped a finger through it. “Oh no, it looks like you got some on

your nose too.” I painted a streak of peanut butter down his nose.

He giggled and looked mildly appalled. “You got it on my

nose.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Uh-huh. Like this.” He grabbed the spoon, wiped off some

jam, and carefully drew it down my nose. Then he erupted into

giggles. A small food fight ensued. Theo ended up on my lap with

me tickling his armpits as he screamed between bouts of laughter

for mercy. I could feel a sticky hand print on my face and I was

pretty sure we both had peanut butter in our hair. Wes came to the

door, probably because we were being loud.

“Hey, you two. What gives?” Wes yelled to be heard over us.

She was grinning almost as much as Theo and I were.

• 105 •

aShley bartlett

“Umm.” Theo gasped for breath. “We made peanut butter and

jelly.” He offered as an explanation.

“I can see that. But why did you make it on your faces?”

Theo started giggling again. “Alden started it.”

“You sold me out.” I tickled him some more.

“Maybe we should eat the PB and J instead of wearing it.” Wes

smiled even bigger. “We have to go soon.” So responsible.

“Okay,” Theo said. “We made you one too.”

“Thanks, T.” Wes pulled out a chair across from us. I lifted

Theo off my lap and onto his chair.

Anyone who wants to reclaim their youth should eat peanut

butter and jelly. I felt ten years younger eating mine, but maybe not

in a good way. Theo carefully dissected his sandwich instead of just

eating it. First, he ate the crust off every piece, then he bit off the

corners of each triangle until he had four circles. The circles were

popped into his mouth with a flourish, like candy. Kids are weird.

“If you guys want to go wash your faces and stuff I’ll clean up

in here,” Wes said as Theo polished off his sandwich.

“All right. Come on, T.” I circled an arm around his waist and

threw him over my shoulder. With my free hand I started tickling

him again, but that made his feet flail around very close to my face

so I stopped. That’s when I saw his ankles. They were bruised and

scraped up. The bruises had been accumulated over time because

some were yellow and some were a fresh purple. I set him on his

feet and was about to ask what they were from when I realized.

“Do you skateboard?”

“Uh-course.” Duh, everyone skateboarded.

“You gotta wear high-tops, dude.”

“I keep telling him that. It looks like I beat him.” Wes grabbed

Theo under his arms and swung him in the air, then turned him

upside down.

“Weessss, nooo.” He giggled and screamed. She inspected the

bruised area then kissed his ankles. “It’s better now. It’s better.” He

continued to protest. Laughing, she set him down.

“Why don’t you wear high-tops?” I asked him. “Vans makes

some cool ones.”

• 106 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“’Cause I can’t tie ‘em.” Duh.

“Got it.” I looked around a bit. I didn’t know where anything

was. “So uhh…”

“Bathroom’s upstairs.” Wes nodded toward the stairs then

grinned. “Have fun.”

I wasn’t entirely sure what that meant so I let Theo lead the

way.

“This is my bathroom.” He flipped the light switch that was eye

level for him. The whole room was Finding Nemo, from the shower

curtain to his toothbrush. “I like Nemo,” he explained.

“Cool. Me too.” I helped Theo wash his face with a washcloth,

which I also used to remove the peanut butter from his hair.

“Uh oh.” Theo was looking down.

“What?”

“I got it on my shirt.” Sure enough, there was a streak across

his shirt.

“Better take it off and find a new one.” I turned back to the

sticky mess that was now my hair.

“Okay.” He stripped off the shirt and placed it in a laundry

hamper behind the door. Instead of going to get a new shirt, he just

watched me.

“Are you gonna get a shirt?”

“I don’t like shirts.”

“You had one on before.”

“It got dirty.” Maybe this was what Wes meant. I wondered if

she was just being funny or if this was a test. Like to see if I could

get the kid to wash and change or not. I doubted it, but still.

“Aren’t you going to a sleepover?”

“Yeah.”

“Have any of your friends come to a sleepover without a shirt?”

It was the best I could come up with.

“No.” He tilted his head to one side, studying me. “Guess I’ll

go get one.” He ran off and returned moments later wearing a shirt.

We went back downstairs to find Wes waiting for us.

“Are we goin’?” Theo asked as he jumped the last two steps.

• 107 •

aShley bartlett

“Don’t jump on the stairs, T. And calm down. We still have to

tie the boards on the car.”

“That’ll take for-eh-verrr.” With each syllable his shoulders

and head dropped a couple inches.

“We can just take mine if you want.” I tried to tell Wes quietly

so Theo couldn’t hear.

She seemed to contemplate for a minute then nodded. “All

right, T, you win. We’re taking Alden’s truck.”

• 108 •

Sex and SkateboardS

Chapter twelve

Dropping Theo off was weird. There were a bunch of parents

with screaming five-year-olds. That was to be expected I

guess. Most of them knew Wes even though they didn’t know me. I

should have stayed in the car. One chick was definitely glaring the

entire time.

“Does that happen a lot?” I asked once we were back in the car.

“What?” She looked confused.

“That mom who was trying to kill us with her eyes.” I’m not

sure why it bothered me.

“Oh, that. She probably thought I got knocked up as a teenager.”

Wes shrugged it off like it was nothing. “And to top it off…we look

gay.”

“We are gay.” Now I was pissed.

“One offense is forgivable here, but two?” She shrugged again.

“Let’s just say a good portion of SLO County votes Republican.”

“That doesn’t bother you?”

“It used to. Now I don’t bother getting worked up because

people are ignorant. Their issue, not mine.” She didn’t even have to

think about it. I wished for a moment that I’d been that together at

her age. Hell, for a second I wished I were that together at my age.

Then the moment passed.

“That’s cool.” It made sense. I was still irritated though. “But if

you want me to go back and beat her up, I totally will.”

Wes started laughing. “Thanks. I think.”

• 109 •

aShley bartlett

We were pretty quiet the rest of the drive except for her giving

me directions. We headed south passing all the tourist places like

Avila and Pismo. Then she directed me down a small road that led,

it seemed, to nowhere. It was cliché, she said, but there was a secret

spot, one her dad had shown her. Hard to argue with that. The place

was secluded, down a long winding road that smelled like cool,

damp wood and sunshine. It smelled like California.

We had to park on the road and walk through the eucalyptus

trees that went nearly to the edge of the water. The beach was

empty; not even birds interrupted the flash of the sun on the water.

Maybe it was just because I was born in California, but there was

something about standing on a beach looking west where, with the

right imagination, you could see the water start to curve away. It

resided in my gut, that knowledge that the world was perfect. I just

had to look the right way.

“Sometimes I just want to come and sit here and…” Wes and

I had both stopped and stared, the surfboards forgotten in the sand

behind us. I took her hand. Five, ten minutes, maybe an hour passed

watching the Pacific. “…I don’t know…never leave.”

All I could do was nod because I felt it too.

We surfed, of course. It felt like we were out there for hours.

Just us, the cool, briny water, and the sun. When we would sit on our

boards and wait for a wave, the heat would soak into the neoprene

on my back, then the cold water would rush back in when I went

under. I started to get it. Not just how to surf, although I was able to

stand up way more, but why people surfed. That rush that felt like

either sex or skateboarding. The waves died down with the sun as

it crawled to meet the horizon until it was pointless to keep trying.

Somewhat reluctantly, we left.

❖

“Maybe I’ll just sell it so I won’t have to clean it.” The carpet in

the truck was barely visible with the amount of sand we had dragged

in. I was a little surprised there wasn’t any seaweed.

• 110 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“That’s not a bad idea. I told you it would be messy,” Wes

said halfheartedly. The beach we’d just left didn’t have showers

so we’d folded our wet suits and thrown towels over the seats.

Saltwater clung to Weston’s chest and pooled in her bellybutton. A

few droplets gathered in the faint blond hairs that trailed down her

stomach and disappeared in her wet suit.

Weston watched the horizon and I watched her and the road.

The sun was getting even lower. Warm light infused everything so

that the only colors were deep, deep blue from the water and orange

from the sky and white where the two met.

I parked in front of her house. My duffle bag was in the truck

bed with the surfboards. It was cleaner than the cab. I grabbed the

bag and followed her around the side of the house. Wes took the bag

from me and tossed it into the kitchen before turning back to the

outdoor shower.

“If Anne were here she would kill me for doing that.” Anne

was rather strict as far as the kitchen went. No one was allowed to

track sand or anything else into the house, and throwing things on

the floor was definitely not allowed. That was cool. I could relate.

“Wow. Living it up while your nanny is gone, huh?”

“Totally.”

I was having trouble focusing because her nipples were

hard now that we weren’t in the warm truck. My hands clenched

automatically. I knew what the hard prominence would feel like

against my palm. The ache traveled through my wrist, up my arm,

until my whole body hurt with wanting. If I couldn’t handle seeing

Weston half-naked and wet, how could I continue surfing with her?

Who was I kidding? The reason I took up surfing was to see her

half naked and wet.

She bent over to peel the wet suit away from her legs. The

view made my head light. She rinsed it and draped it over the fence

behind us, the one that isolated us from the neighbors. I tried to get

my wet suit off and nearly fell over three times before I was free.

While Wes waited for me to rinse my suit, she stripped off her board

shorts. My poorly rinsed suit joined hers on the fence. She took

over the spray again. My gaze followed the water flowing down her

• 111 •

aShley bartlett

body. When I returned to her face, she was staring back with equal

intensity.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“I can’t control it.” I was having serious tunnel vision.

Everything was light and her.

“You better. I’m done. Finish showering.” Wes toweled her

hair and looked like she had every intention of watching me with

those eyes. She bit her lip.

It was too much for me. I kissed her hard and fast. Just a brief

meeting of lips, but when I pulled away she followed like we were

magnetized. I waited and looked at her. Her eyes were over bright.

It seemed like the sunset had been caught in them except she was

staring at me not the sun. She kissed me again. I was going to die if I

wasn’t touching her. Always. Her hot, wet skin sent shocks through

my body that shivered along my spine. Wes’s fingers tugged at my

tangled hair. I slid my hand high on her back and untied her bikini

top letting it fall to the cement.

She pushed me away long enough to whisper, “Inside,” and

shut off the water. I fumbled a towel off the hook behind her and

wrapped it around us. My hands were occupied holding the towel. It

was hard enough to concentrate on that because she was kissing me

again, so when she dropped my bikini top and squeezed my nipples

I almost fell over. We tumbled into the kitchen. My lips were at

her throat licking the cooling water from her skin. I worried briefly

about the lake we were starting on the floor, but she tugged slightly

on my nipple ring making me forget. My board shorts fell then both

our bikini bottoms joined the pile. Somehow, we made it upstairs.

I didn’t remember climbing the stairs or going into her room. All I

knew was dropping that towel and seeing her tan, still wet skin. I

couldn’t touch her enough. Our hands groped and roamed so fast

that we could hardly accomplish anything.

She was biting her lip again. I dropped to my knees and kissed

her belly, kissed her scar, kissed the curve of her hip. I brushed

my fingers around her waist just low enough to spread across

her perfect ass. The smell of her sex made my stomach knot and

challenged my self-restraint. Her pussy was wet and glistening.

• 112 •

Sex and SkateboardS

When I bit her inner thigh she jerked forward moistening my

cheek with a kiss.

“Fuck, Alden.” She threaded her fingers into my still damp

hair and pulled so that I was standing. I pushed against her until

we were lying on the bed. Slowly, I lowered myself. Our legs

intertwined, arms wrapped around each other, and our lips met

again. Her hips gyrated insistently into me. I could only return the

motion. The wetness made our skin slick so we slid harder into each

other. Poised on the edge of nothing and everything, she waited. I

allowed myself to delve into her. Her thighs closed on my hand, the

hot skin taking me in, swallowing me as she gasped for air against

my neck. When she came she bit my shoulder. Hard. All I could do

was tumble after her.

❖

I woke to the shower running. My intention was to go join her.

But when I got out of bed the water turned off. Damn. I started

wandering around the room that I’d spent the night in twice, but

hadn’t paid any attention to. It was completely normal, excepting

the million-dollar beach view out the massive windows facing west.

The opposite end was entirely empty, no furniture or anything.

On the wall hung three black and white photos, massive ones that

looked like they belonged in a gallery. Each was framed simply with

a stark white mat.

One had to be a young Theo. He was standing at the low rock

wall in the backyard facing the ocean. He was wearing a pair of little

boy swim trunks. Small shoulder blades and his spine stood out in

sharp relief against his smooth, tan skin. It was odd because most

pictures of kids show their faces. This one didn’t.

Another picture was taken from the water. It looked grainy and

tilted. A surfer was riding a wave with his board pointed directly

toward the photographer. I assumed it was Wes and Theo’s dad. He

was wearing a wet suit and his face was partially shadowed, but he

had the same hair, slightly longer than Theo’s, and he was smiling

that smile they both had.

• 113 •

aShley bartlett

The final photo was a woman. She was sprawled on the beach

with an arm draped over her face. She was awake because she was

attempting to hide a grin that pulled at the corners of her mouth. It

looked like she was hiding from the photographer. That’s why her

arm was over her face. It wasn’t Wes, although it could have been.

“Is that your mom?” I asked when I heard footsteps behind me.

“Yeah. My dad took the picture.” Her voice was really quiet.

“But you took the others didn’t you?” There was something

about them, a style that screamed Wes. I’d never seen one of her

photos before.

“Yep.”

“You’re good.”

“Thanks.”

I turned to look at her. Bad idea. She was very naked. “Hi.”

“What?”

“You’re naked.”

“And you’re a child.”

“That’s what they tell me.” I leaned close conspiratorially. “But

you’re still naked.” Her neck was inches away and I just had to do

it, just had to taste it.

“Alden. I have to go pick up T.” It was the weakest protest ever.

“How late can he stay?”

“Noon latest.”

“We’ve got time.” And we fell back on the bed.

❖

We were leaving, or trying to. Wes to get her brother and me to

go pretend to work.

“So when can I see more of your photography?” I called as I

waited for her at the foot of the stairs.

“Are you serious?” She stopped on the top step. “You want to

see it?”

From the way she said it I could tell not enough people showed

genuine interest, which didn’t make any sense. “Of course.”

“A friend of mine has a gallery in SLO with some of my stuff.”

• 114 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“Cool. When are you going to show me?” I wasn’t letting her

get out of it.

“Thursday night?” she answered tentatively.

“Do you want to take Theo? The three of us can do the market

then hit up the gallery?” Please say yes, please say yes.

“That sounds good.”

My smile must have been huge. “Perfect.”

“But, umm, if you want I have some stuff here.”

“Do you have time to show me?”

“Maybe one. I think you’ll like it.” She smiled ambiguously as

she descended.

“Lead on.” I followed her to a door that I assumed led to the

garage except when we walked through that’s not what it was. Not

really. I’d never seen such a clean garage. The floor was done in

black stone and the walls were painted white. A quarter of the garage

had a room sectioned off. Some of the corners were taped over with

black plastic or just wrapped in black duct tape. Opposite that, long,

low tables held an assortment of mat and paper cutters and some sort

of heat press. On the wall hung right-angled rulers and similar tools.

“This is my darkroom,” she said at my questioning look.

“Actually, that is my darkroom.” She pointed to the room built in

the corner.

“Very cool. Did you build it?”

“Trevor and his mom helped.” Built under the long counters

were a bunch of wide, flat drawers. Wes opened a couple until she

found what she wanted. “Check these out.” She pulled a few matted

photos out of the drawer and set them on an empty stretch of counter.

It was me. Photos from the day she stopped me outside Delma’s. I

was in various stages of lighting my cigarette or letting it hang from

my lips. What struck me was that she captured me. Obviously, it

looked like me, but it was more like she caught the essence of who

I was on film. I was impressed and a little scared.

“Damn.”

“What do you think?” For the first time, she looked nervous.

“I think I look fuckin’ cool.” She laughed. “How did you know

I would like pictures of myself?” More laughing.

• 115 •

aShley bartlett

“You’re vain.” It’s generally not good when a chick tells you

that. “Don’t worry. You should be.”

“Is that how you see me? Not vain, but that.” I pointed at the

photos.

“Yes,” she responded simply.

“You’re very good, you know?”

Surprisingly, she blushed. “So we should probably go.”

“Ooh, Weston, do we not take compliments very well?”

“No, not so much.” She stacked up the photos and put them

away, but she was smiling.

• 116 •

Sex and SkateboardS

Chapter thirteen

The first couple blocks held the actual farmer’s market with

fresh produce and flowers and honey, that sort of shit. The

next had food, which mostly consisted of massive open flame grills

cooking meat products. College kids manning the grills shouted back

and forth in a rehearsed song that only added to the overwhelming

noise on the street. Smoke from the grills made Theo’s eyes water

so we moved past them quickly.

Booths for just about every community organization in SLO

followed that, and the far end featured a few more local restaurants.

Alleys that branched off were filled with restaurants and coffee

shops. Most of the businesses were open for the people crowded

shoulder to shoulder on Higuera. Wes pointed out the cool shops to

me, the best places for vintage clothes or surf gear or weird T-shirts.

Theo had his own little camera strapped around his neck. One

of those primary-colored, kid’s digital cameras. He took pictures

every few steps and made us look at them on the little viewing

screen. Fuckin’ cute.

When we got closer to the gallery, Wes called her friend.

“Hey, Trish, we’re half a block away.” She waited. I was

surprised she could even hear. “I don’t know. He hasn’t eaten dinner

yet.”

Theo looked up excitedly. “Trish takes me to get ice cream.”

“That’s pretty cool, T.”

“Yeah.” He nodded.

• 117 •

aShley bartlett

Wes shut her phone. “She’s gonna meet us downstairs.” She

started walking up the street with Theo and me falling into single

file behind her as she wove through the crowd.

“Where is the gallery?” The majority of the buildings were a

couple stories high, but most looked like they had offices upstairs.

“Third floor.” Wes turned back to look at me. “It faces down

into the alley.” She pointed to one of the wide alleys.

We stopped by a nondescript doorway in an alcove off the

street. The door opened after a few minutes and a woman stepped

out. Her ash blond hair was chopped at various lengths so it hung

over her eyes. She was young enough to pull it off.

“Wes,” she screamed even though we were standing directly

in front of her. “How’s it goin,’ kid?” She wasn’t much older than

Wes. Trish threw an arm around her shoulders and squeezed then

released her.

“All right,” Wes managed to get in before Trish ignored her and

scooped Theo up into a hug. Wes introduced us. She gave me the

once-over like she was cruising me, but with a more critical eye. I

wasn’t sure if I passed the inspection.

“Where have you guys been?” Trish asked Wes and Theo.

“Around,” Wes responded. They spoke to each other like they

had developed a script over years until it was perfect. Not with

the subtle sibling-like closeness that Wes and Trevor had, more

like they’d dated and found they were better off as friends. Both

were oblivious to the frustrated masses that pushed past us on the

congested sidewalk.

“Sooo? Can I steal your brother?” Trish waggled her eyebrows.

“Yeah,” Theo added.

“I guess,” Wes said with exaggerated hesitation.

“Awesome.” Trish knelt and Theo climbed onto her back. “Oh,

Wes. Keys.” With one arm tucked under Theo, she dug in her pocket

and tossed Wes a set of keys.

“Bye, guys,” Theo called to us as they took off in the direction

we came from as he clung to Trish and smiled.

We watched them walk away in silence until Wes held up the

keys and asked, “Want to check it out?”

• 118 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“Lead on.” I held the door for her.

The door opened to a narrow stairwell. Wes started up the stairs

ahead of me, which meant her fantastic ass taunted me with every

step. We turned a corner and continued climbing stairs.

“Hey, Wes.” Another corner and my sense of direction was out

the window.

“What?” She didn’t turn around.

“You look hot.”

A slight hesitation in her forward motion. “Thanks.” I could

hear her smiling.

“No, like really hot.” I sounded so smart.

“Like really?” She was teasing me.

“Like seriously.” I couldn’t help it. I placed my hands on her

hips, under her shirt at the top of her pants. My fingers automatically

settled into the curve of her hips. Thank you, low-rise jeans and girls

who can pull them off. She stopped and leaned against the wall, one

foot a step higher than the other. Without taking my hands off her

hips, I stepped up and faced her.

“You’re okay I guess,” she said before twining her hands around

my neck and kissing me. Damn, her lips were amazing. When her

tongue pushed into my mouth, the sweet softness made my head

spin. Those hands played along the back of my neck, making me

shiver, lifting me higher. Insistently, I thrust between her legs, our

belt buckles scraped together, and the metal pushed back into my

sensitive flesh. The pleasure-pain reminded me where we were.

“We gotta stop.” She whimpered as I pulled away. Anyone

could walk by at anytime, I reminded myself.

“No.” Her hands fell to my back, spreading over my shoulder

blades. The pressure from her wrists against my biceps kept me

from lifting my arms, made it so I couldn’t resist when she pulled

me closer and took my mouth with such desperation I stopped

breathing. Her hips pressed into me, spinning me down a step

so my back was to the wall and she so had control. The warm

palms left my back and slid down my body. One toyed with my

nipple ring through my shirt, sending shocks down my stomach,

my legs, up into my throat until it surfaced as a moan. The other

• 119 •

aShley bartlett

hand continued down my belly and I heard the rasp of metal as she

opened my belt.

“Wes,” I tried to protest before she pushed past the waistband

of my boxers and slid her fingers over my waiting clit. Then I just

dropped my head back and let her. I couldn’t stop her, couldn’t

stop that demanding touch. She was everywhere. I could feel her

radiating out into every cell of my body. I wanted the sensation to

last forever. I didn’t want to feel her leave. I only wanted her to keep

the pressure, that constant perfect circle, but we were not alone, or

we wouldn’t be for long. Somewhere, a door opened. Wes slowed. It

sounded like the front door, the one that led to the street.

Unmercifully, Wes kissed me again and circled her hand faster.

There were footsteps. Not good timing because I was gonna come.

Wes worked me until my spine started melting, clit twitching,

begging for release. I pressed my face against her neck to keep from

crying out as the waves rolled through me and I whimpered nonsense

and came. The only reason I remained upright was her hand fisted

in my shirt pulling me up into her. Her other hand pulled out of my

pants and my boxers slapped against my skin. The footsteps were

closer. Fuck. She closed my jeans and belt one handed. Impressive.

An older woman rounded the corner and we separated looking

guilty. The hallway smelled like sex. She smiled and continued past

us. We started grinning at each other, and as she rounded the next

corner, we burst out laughing.

“Damn.” I collapsed against the wall again gasping for air.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Me? You started it.” She leaned her shoulder into the wall

facing me. The dimple in her cheek was showing again.

“Nuh-uh.”

“Whatever. Come on.” She grabbed my hand. “I’ll show you

upstairs.”

“Sure.” As if I could just walk after that. “Like that’s what you

wanted to show me.”

“I did,” she said, all affronted and shit.

“I totally believe you,” I said like I didn’t.

“Jerk.”

• 120 •

Sex and SkateboardS

❖

The gallery was unlike any I’d been in. There were no white

walls, no negative spaces, and the lighting was drastic and slightly

shocking.

“Trish did the walls.” Most of them were painted black or blood

red or dark, dark blue. Two of them had massive murals that were

very William Blake meets a Led Zepplin album. The ceilings were

at least two stories tall, and bizarre, seemingly unsafe walkways

were suspended about halfway up.

“This place is insane,” I managed to say. Mostly, I just spun in

slow circles trying to see the upper levels.

“Come check this out.” She dragged me to the wall opposite the

door and pointed out the window. It seemed a little weird because

normally in a gallery you look at the artwork, not out the windows.

Whatever.

Wes started to muscle one of the windows open. It creaked and

crackled and resisted, then flew open. Before I could stop her, she

threw a leg over the windowsill and sat straddling it. “Sit down,”

she commanded so I did. It was wide enough for both of us to

comfortably lean against opposite windowsills.

“Look.” She pointed below us. It was one of the busy, wide

alleyways that we’d passed. People below us milled around, shouting

at each other. “I like watching people from up here.”

The masses below us twitched and flowed with excitement.

Dusk was falling, and in the growing darkness parents gathered their

children, couples from every age group clung to each other as they

jostled through the crowd, and various street musicians attempted to

make rent from the corners of coffee shop windows.

“This is awesome.”

“I know, right?” Her eyes were still glued to the sidewalk

below. “Just wait for it.”

I wasn’t sure what she meant until I heard a familiar voice. “Hi,

Wes. Hi, Alden.” Theo called from directly underneath us. He was

waving erratically and clinging to a child-size ice cream cone.

“Hey, T,” we yelled back.

• 121 •

aShley bartlett

“What are you doin’?” He struggled to be heard. Trish stood

directly behind him as a buffer from the crowds.

“Waiting for you,” Wes yelled.

“We’re gonna come up,” he announced.

“See you in a minute,” Wes replied. Theo began pulling Trish

through the crowds to the front of the building.

“You guys do this a lot?” I asked even though I could deduce

the answer.

“I guess. Trish takes him to get ice cream so I can look around.”

Wes swung her leg back over the windowsill. “Come on. I’ll show

you my work.” I trailed behind her. “It’s up there.” She pointed to

the very top of the northern wall where huge pieces of burlap and

canvas hung. “I’ve been doing this process where I paint the cloth

with a chemical that makes it light sensitive like photo paper. Then

I expose the whole piece and develop it.”

“That’s cool.” I followed her to an old iron staircase, the kind

that spirals in on itself, that led to some of the scaffolding.

“I’m not sure I like it yet.” We stepped onto the walkway. It

felt sturdier than it looked. “This is where I display my experiments.

Trish is pretty cool about letting me put up whatever I want. You

know, see how people like it.”

“Do a lot of people come here? It’s a little out of the way.” If

she hadn’t shown it to me, I would have never found it, even with

directions.

“Not a lot. More than you’d think. It’s one of those ‘if you’re

cool you know about it’ type things. A lot of Cal Poly students beg

Trish to show their work here.” We stopped in front of her work. The

pieces of cloth were bigger than I’d originally thought. Some were

taller than I was.

“These are fuckin’ cool.”

“Thanks.”

“I like that one.” I indicated with a nod of my head toward the

one she was standing in front of. It was the only horizontal shot of

the group. I was pretty sure it was in the skate park in Cayucos. A

bunch of teenagers were sitting on the wooden wall that edged the

park. None of the boys were looking at the camera.

• 122 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“Serious? That’s my favorite too.” She graced me with a smile.

Below us, the door opened and Theo ran into the gallery

followed by Trish. “Hey, guys,” Theo yelled.

“Did you finish your ice cream, T?” Wes asked before he

walked very far into the space.

“Yeah.” He was headed for the stairs closest to us.

“Did you wash your hands?”

“Yeah.”

“No, you didn’t.” Wes called him on his fib. “Go wash them.”

“Okay.” Unfazed, he turned back to Trish who led him to the

bathroom. Minutes later, he rushed up the stairs to us. Wes watched

him every step of the way. She was gripping the rail in front of us so

hard that her knuckles were white.

“Letting him climb stairs alone?”

“I know he can do it.” She was still watching him. “It just

makes me nervous.” She realized I was smiling. “What?”

“Nothing. You’re cute.”

“Why?” She looked slightly irritated.

“Because you love your brother.” I loved that she loved him so

much. It was so obvious.

“Of course. He’s adorable. Have you seen that kid?” she

responded to my half-serious teasing.

“I know, Wes. He looks like you. He’s gorgeous.”

She scowled at me.

Theo finally reached us. He tugged on the bottom of my shirt

and pointed to the images in front of us. “My sister did that.”

“I know. She’s pretty good, huh?”

“Yeah. I’m gonna be a pho-to-gra-pher,” he drew it out real

slow to make sure he said it right. “Just like Wes.”

“And I’ll show the genius of Theo.” Trish joined us. “I

have exclusive right to show your work, right, T?” He nodded.

“Awesome.”

“Hey, Wes. I’m hungry.” Apparently, his attention span was

short.

“All right. You want to get some food?” she asked me.

“Sure.”

• 123 •

aShley bartlett

We said good-bye to Trish and thanked her for letting us look

around. Theo led the way back downstairs.

On the street he grabbed Wes’s hand and she grabbed mine as

he pushed and squeezed his way through the crowd. Wes gave him

vague directions until we ended up at a falafel stand. The rest of

the night was just like that. Theo would decide where he wanted to

go and would lead us there in his lost but hyperactive five-year-old

way.

In the car on the way back he crashed out so Wes and I just sat

in silence for fear of waking him. Periodically, I would catch her

looking at me and she would smile like a guilty kid. When we pulled

up to her house, Wes left Theo asleep in the car.

“Do you want to come in?” she asked quietly. I wasn’t sure if

she was being quiet for her brother’s sake or her own misgivings.

I nodded in response. Hell, yeah, I wanted to go inside, and

since I wanted to so bad I said, “I’m gonna go home.”

“What?”

“Tonight was unbelievable.” I meant it too. I wanted to tell her

a hell of a lot more. I wanted to do a whole lot more. Instead, I just

said, “Thank you.”

Her hand cupped my cheek, the tips of her fingers curling

into the strands of my hair, thumb tracing below my eye. I tried to

interpret the look in her eyes. Nothing. Before she could move or

speak, I leaned close and chastely kissed her cheek. Then I strolled

to my truck without looking back.

• 124 •

Sex and SkateboardS

Chapter Fourteen

Thanks for coming with me, Ollie.”

“You’re weird, dude.” She pulled the keys out of the

ignition.

“What? You know I hate this stuff.” I pulled up the collar on

my polo. It was way easier to hide with my collar up and sunglasses

on. I was feeling anti-social.

“You hate going to a hot girl’s house to hang out with your

friends?”

“When you put it that way it sounds different.” I hated when she

made it sound like I was hella dumb. “Besides, I’m from northern

California. I don’t even know what the fuck grunion are.”

“They’re fish. They mate on the beach.”

“Why do we have to watch them mate?”

“It’s tradition. Stop complaining.” Ollie got out of the car.

“And get the wine out of the trunk, bitch.”

“Whatever,” I said as I got out of the car. The window made

for a decent reflection so I checked to make sure I looked all right.

“You’re so vain.” Damn, how did she always know when I was

doing that? “I like the new sunglasses, by the way.”

“Thanks for noticing.” I grinned at her across the roof of the

car. The glasses were huge and dark with rhinestones on the side, a

little girly and flashy, but in the good way.

“I like the contrast. You know you’re all skater punk and the

glasses are so not. Awesome. Very you.”

• 125 •

aShley bartlett

“I love that you get me, Ollie.” I grabbed the box wrapped in plain

brown paper I’d brought for Theo and the wine and barely got out of

the way before Ollie slammed the trunk closed. Watch the hands.

“I know, right?” She leaned forward and kissed me on the

cheek then followed me up to the front door. Before we could get

to the bell, the door opened. Wes leaned against the doorframe. She

was wearing plaid shorts with a dark V-neck and she was barefoot.

Very Abercrombie. Also very hot.

“You trying to make me jealous?” she asked all quiet and

mocking.

“Sorry, I didn’t think you got jealous,” I tossed back.

“Apparently, I do.” We got closer. I kissed Wes on the mouth

and kept walking. That was tough, continuing to walk when all I

wanted was to press her against that doorframe.

“I guess you misunderstood.” She kept talking to my back. “I

was talking to Olivia.”

“Thank you,” Ollie chimed in. “It’s about time someone noticed

me.”

“That’s cold,” I said as I set the wine on the counter.

Wes walked behind me. Her hand brushed across my lower

back and her warm breath skittered across my ear. “Can you forgive

me?”

“I might be able to manage it.” I turned around to face her.

She pressed me back into the counter. Without shoes on, she was a

couple inches shorter than me.

“So I’ll just head outside.” Ollie let herself out.

“I missed you,” Wes murmured. It was amazing that when she

said such innocuous words they could still hit right to my core. She

stepped closer so that our thighs touched. My heart rate jumped and

I started breathing hard.

“I missed you too.”

Wes slowly pulled off my sunglasses and set them on the

counter. “Damn right.” She did that leisurely smile of hers, just

enough for her dimple to show. Then she kissed me. It was amazing.

The way her lips barely parted before they touched mine. How she

leaned against me just enough so that I could feel her everywhere.

• 126 •

Sex and SkateboardS

And the sweet, salty taste that her lips left behind so that when I

licked my lips after I could still taste her.

“Wes, can I wake up yet?” a tiny voice called from the top of

the stairs.

“Fuck,” I whispered.

“What time is it?” Wes braced her arms on either side of me

and pushed back. I pushed back my sleeve to check the time, but

she got impatient and turned my wrist so she could see my watch.

“Damn, I told him if he wanted to stay up late with everyone he had

to nap until six.” I looked at my watch. It was 5:53.

“It’s seven till.”

“Yeah, but there’s a lot you can do in seven minutes.” Her hips

bumped against mine.

The sliding door opened. “Grill is ready, Wes.” Trevor stuck

his head in.

“Of course it is.” Wes turned and grabbed a plate stacked with

meat. She stomped over to Trevor and shoved the plate in his hands.

“Weesss, can I wake up yet?” It sounded like Theo was about

halfway down the stairs by now.

“Boys.” Wes started up the stairs.

“Dude, what did I do?” Trevor was standing in the doorway

looking stunned. It made me laugh. “What?”

“Nothing. Ignore her.”

“Whatever.” He shrugged and turned around closing the door

behind him. Not much fazed Trevor.

About five minutes later, the commotion on the stairs announced

Theo and Wes. Theo ran through the kitchen and out the back door

shouting hello to me as an afterthought. Wes and I suddenly found

ourselves alone in the house. We had three options: ditch the party

and have wild sex, go outside and socialize, or stand in the kitchen

awkwardly. Option one seemed the most fun.

“I guess Trevor has the barbeque going.”

“Yep.” No on option one then.

“We should probably uhh…” She motioned toward the door.

“I guess.” The fates hated me. Wes headed for the door and

I followed her, probably closer than necessary. She stopped right

• 127 •

aShley bartlett

before she opened the door and turned around. My heart rate climbed

to the ceiling.

“Or we could go upstairs and…” That’s what I wanted to hear.

I opened my mouth to respond when the door opened again.

“Hey, Wes, T says he wants a hot dog and a burger. Is that

cool?” Trevor was still holding his tongs for the grill.

“I hate you.” Wes pushed past him. I couldn’t tell if she was

mad or not.

“Dude. I hate you too.” Trevor looked disgruntled, but also

kind of stoned so it was hard to tell. I followed him outside. It would

seem that I wasn’t getting laid anytime soon.

❖

Anne and Trevor were standing by the grill arguing over the

best way to handle cooking meat. It seemed like she was winning.

He finally threw up his hands and gave her the tongs he was holding.

Jamie went over and started comforting him, but it looked like she

was just teasing him about losing to a girl.

Anne’s daughters and Theo were engaging Anne’s husband in

a reluctant game of football down on the sand. The older of the

girls pushed Theo down and took the ball from him. He wasn’t very

good. Ollie, Wes, and I were sitting on the low rock wall at the end

of the yard that looked down on the beach.

“Theo sucks at football, doesn’t he?” Wes turned toward us.

“No, he’s a genius. See how he let that little girl push him? He’s

just getting her guard down.”

“You’re an ass, Alden.” Ollie slapped the back of her hand

against my stomach. I winced. Wes started laughing.

Trevor and Jamie walked up. Jamie sat next to Wes.

“I’m getting a beer. Anyone want one?” Trevor asked still

looking dejected over the barbeque. Wes nodded.

“I’ll have one too,” I said. Jamie and Ollie shook their heads.

He nodded and ambled off.

“So why is Anne running the barbeque?” I asked Jamie and

Wes.

• 128 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“I don’t know how to use it.” Wes shrugged. “But Trev loves to

grill anything that will stand still long enough. Only problem is he

sucks at it. Burns everything.”

“Anne kicks ass at it,” Jamie piped up. “It happens all the time.

He wants to barbeque, Wes gives the go-ahead, and Anne takes over

ten minutes later.”

“She usually lets him do hot dogs and stuff for the kids before

she crushes his spirit.” Wes smiled and turned toward me. She leaned

her back against Jamie and put her feet on the outside of my thigh.

“Crushes whose spirit?” Trevor asked as he strolled back up.

He handed Wes and me each an open bottle.

“Yours,” Jamie said sweetly.

“Whatever.” He stalked away.

“He’s just pouting. He’ll forget in five minutes,” Jamie said.

Wes nodded.

We watched the kids play football for a little while before

Jamie stood.

“T sucks.”

“I know.” Wes stretched out so she was lying on the wall.

“I’m going to help him.” She started down the stairs that led to

the beach. The game stopped as she approached. They talked for a

minute before Jamie called back up to us.

“We’re not even. Anyone else want to play?”

“I will.” Ollie walked down leaving Wes and me alone.

We tried to follow the football game. I was trying to be

interested, really. Problem was, football was not entertaining.

“This is very domesticated isn’t it?” Wes sat up and straddled

the wall.

“Totally.”

“Whatever.” She lowered the sunglasses she was wearing.

“Is Theo that bad at all sports?” I asked after he dropped the

ball for the twentieth time.

“Not usually. He’s pretty good with surfing.” Wes studied the

game on the sand below us. “For a five-year-old, at least. I mean he

can pretty much stand up on the board, but that’s it.”

“That’s more than I can do.”

• 129 •

aShley bartlett

“True. You aren’t the best,” she said. I scowled at her. “Hey,

what’s with the box you left on the counter?”

“Ohh, sorry. Can’t tell you.” I shrugged like it was out of my

hands.

“We both know you’re gonna tell me,” she responded casually.

“Pretty confident, aren’t you?” She grinned in response. “Here’s

a hint. It’s not for you.”

“That’s a terrible hint.” She reclined back on the wall again.

“Doesn’t matter, you’ll tell me.”

“I’ll think about it.”

❖

Sometime after eating and before dark, I motioned Theo aside.

“Hey, T, I brought something for you. You want to open it?”

“Yeah.” There’s nothing like telling a kid you brought him a

present.

“Come on.” I motioned him inside the kitchen.

“What is it?” He asked as he trailed behind me.

“You’re gonna have to open it to see.” I grabbed the box off the

counter and handed it to him.

“Can I open it now?”

“Go for it.” Theo was like me. He tore into presents so that

the paper fell away in useless scraps on the floor. None of that meticulous shit. When he got to the black and white checkered box

underneath, I prompted him. “Go on. Open it.”

He fumbled the lid open and extracted one of the high-top

shoes inside. “Coooool.”

“Velcro so you don’t have to tie them.”

“And I can skate,” he added.

“Without hurting yourself.”

“Yeah.” He exhaled reverently. “Can I put them on?”

“Do you need help?”

“I got it.” He immediately sat on the floor. I helped him pull

the tissue paper out of the shoes so he could push his bare feet in.

Triumphantly, he closed the three straps on each shoe and stood up.

• 130 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“Do they fit?” I pressed my thumb against the toe of one shoe.

It felt like he had a decent amount of room, but not too much.

“Yeah. Can I show Wes?” He was already bouncing on his toes.

“Sure, go run around. Try them out.”

“Thanks, Alden.” He threw his little arms around me then

sprinted out the door shouting, “Wes. Wes, look what Alden got me.”

I trailed behind him and stood at the door. Theo ran straight to

Wes and made her check out his shoes. She looked straight up at me.

Like the only person she could see or hear or feel was me. I almost

died. She motioned me over to them.

“Very cool, Alden.”

I shrugged. I don’t know how to take compliments. “I didn’t

want him getting hurt.”

“You’re sweet.” She kissed my cheek very, very lightly. “Theo,

did you—”

“He already thanked me,” I interrupted her. “He knows what’s

up.” Theo nodded in agreement.

Wes mussed up his hair and let him run off.

“We should probably get him to put on socks with those,” I

suggested. “He’ll get blisters.”

“Good idea. I’ll go do that.”

I watched her collect Theo and herd him into the house.

“The shoes a hit?” Ollie asked from behind me.

“He thought they were totally cool.” Wes and Theo had disap-

peared inside, but I was still watching the house. It was getting dark.

“Wes like them?” she asked.

“Yeah.” I glanced over at Ollie then back to the house. “But

they weren’t for her.”

“You like him, don’t you?”

“Theo? Yeah, he’s a cool kid.” I still wasn’t paying attention

to Ollie.

“That’s trouble.” At my confused look, she just shrugged and

walked away.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I said. She didn’t respond.

Problem was, I knew what she was saying. I wasn’t just in it for fun

anymore.

• 131 •

aShley bartlett

❖

Jamie was sitting in one of those low beach chairs. Theo had

totally passed out in her lap, wrapped in a huge blanket with only

his curls sticking out. The rest of us were stretched out on blankets

around the fire pit. By some luck I didn’t understand, Wes had

her head on my stomach with her feet practically in the fire. From

Ollie’s breathing, it sounded like she was nodding off and it looked

like Trevor was too. There was no sign of the fabled grunion yet.

Wes lifted her head to look across the fire. “Jamie, I can take

him if he’s getting heavy.”

“Are you sure? He eats his body weight and you have to walk

him like three times a day.” Jamie indicated Trevor with her chin.

They both started laughing.

“Yeah, right. I passed that burden on to you forever ago.” She

dropped her head back onto my tummy.

“Actually, I think I’m going to take both of them up to the

house. You sure it’s cool if we crash?”

“Of course. If you’re heading up I’ll take T and tuck him in.”

“All right. We should probably bring some of this stuff up to

the house.”

“I can take it up later.” Wes stood.

“It’s cool. Trev and I can carry it.”

Trevor woke when he heard his name. “What?” He looked

around.

“You’re helping me take this stuff up,” Jamie explained as if

Trevor wasn’t the brightest.

“Where?” He was totally asleep.

“To the house.” She was still talking to him slowly.

“Right.” Trevor stood and stretched. The movement made

Theo stir a little then bury his head back into Jamie.

“Oh, look at my boy. He’s so cute,” Wes whispered to me. I

grinned back at her. She jumped up and stepped over Ollie, who

promptly woke up.

“Here.” Jamie readjusted her arms so that Wes could take the

little guy. Theo opened his eyes for a second when Wes lifted him

• 132 •

Sex and SkateboardS

then immediately shut them. Automatically, he tucked his head into

the curve of Wes’s neck and fell back asleep.

“What’s going on?” Ollie asked me.

“Jamie and Trevor are going to bed.”

“Good idea.” She sat up and rubbed her face with her hands.

“I should take off. You coming with?” She bumped me with her

shoulder and stood dusting off her jeans.

I shrugged. I was too busy watching Wes with Theo. She

pushed his hair back and smelled the top of his head. That probably

should have been weird, but it just seemed natural.

“What do you want me to grab, Wes?” I stood and looked

around.

Trevor and Jamie started climbing up the stairs lugging some

of the gear.

“It doesn’t matter. I think they grabbed most of it.” Wes nodded

at Jamie and Trevor. Ollie grabbed a blanket and followed them.

There was only one blanket left. “Are you leaving with Olivia?”

My shoulders shrugged of their own accord it seemed. I didn’t

want to go, but everyone else was.

“I’m not tired.” Theo moved and she readjusted his weight. “I

was thinking of just hanging out down here.”

“That’s cool.” She wanted alone time. That was fine.

“So if you want to stay…” her voice trailed off.

“Sure, I’ll follow you up and to say good-bye to Ollie.” My

first instinct was to jump up and down. But that would look pathetic,

so I just followed her up the stairs.

Ollie and Jamie were still in the kitchen when we got inside.

Trevor was passed out on the couch.

“Why isn’t he in the guest room?” Wes asked as I closed the

door behind her.

“He tried to take off his shoes and he fell asleep.” Jamie

laughed.

“Loser.” Wes turned to me. “I’ll be right back.” I nodded.

“You cool, Alden?” Ollie looked at me.

“Yeah, you can take off.” I leaned against the counter and

watched Jamie try to wake Trevor up.

• 133 •

aShley bartlett

“All right. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

Jamie started climbing the stairs with her arm around Trevor.

His head was on her shoulder and he turned to kiss her, but missed

because his eyes were closed. She started giggling again. Wes

squeezed past them empty-handed now.

“You chillin,’ Olivia?” Wes joined me at the counter.

“Nah. I’m hella tired. Thanks for the invite.” Ollie pulled on

her jacket.

“Hey, if the grunion don’t run tonight, you’re totally invited

back tomorrow.” They both started laughing.

“You know I was here every summer and I never saw those

damn things.”

“Me either. It’s tradition though,” said Wes.

I didn’t get it. Maybe it was a SoCal thing.

• 134 •

Sex and SkateboardS

Chapter FiFteen

Let’s go.” Wes grabbed my hand and dragged me outside.

The moon wasn’t visible, but the stars were bright enough

to navigate the stairs safely. At the bottom I added another piece of

wood to the fire before stretching out on the blanket. Wes surprised

me by pillowing her head on my stomach again. I started playing

with her hair. It was soft. She closed her eyes and let me.

“So this is the running of the grunion?” I asked her. “It’s a

blast.”

She rolled her head toward me. “Shut up. I told you they might

not come.”

“I know.”

“Do you see that streak of stars?” Wes pointed at the sky and

traced it with her finger. The cluster ran directly overhead from the

dark house above us down to the horizon.

“Uh-huh. What is it?”

“The Milky Way.”

“No way.” I raised myself up on my elbows and peered into the

dark horizon. The stars just barely glinted off the water. “I’ve never

seen it before.”

“Never?” She was skeptical.

“Naw. You can’t see that stuff in the city.”

“Same with L.A.”

“It looks hella cool.” How had I gotten that far in life and never

seen the Milky Way?

• 135 •

aShley bartlett

“For real.” She started laughing. At me.

“What? Why are you laughing?”

“Nothing.” Still laughing, she continued, “You and Olivia. You

guys say hella.”

“What’s wrong with hella?”

“It’s just so NorCal.” Ouch. If you’re from anywhere else,

California is just California, but if you’re from California you know

there’s a difference between NorCal and SoCal. All right, you had

to either skate or surf to care, and you had to be under the age of

twenty-five.

“Hella. Represent.” I was a twenty-six-year-old skater. Close

enough.

“Oh, I don’t know if we can hang out anymore, dude. I mean

that’s serious.” I was impressed that she managed to keep a straight

face. Well, impressed and just a little worried that she wasn’t kidding.

“I guess I’ll just have to adapt to SoCal.”

“I guess you will.”

We stayed like that for hours. Wes kept talking. I’m not sure

what about. I was happy just to listen to her. While she talked, she

played with me. Either running her fingers over my stomach or

tracing my hands. At one point, she stopped.

“Oh my God.” She lifted my wrist closer to her face and

squinted at my watch. “It’s after four.”

“Dude.”

“Theo is going to wake up in like two hours.” She let my hand

drop.

“He wakes up at six?” Shit.

“Every day. We better go upstairs.”

I agreed and we picked up the blanket. I made sure the fire was

out. We hadn’t added to it in a while.

“So I assume you’re staying,” Wes said as we walked up the

stairs.“I figured I’d just head home. You’ve already got a full house.”

She looked at me like I was crazy. “You don’t have a car and

it’s after four.”

“It’s Cayucos. I think I can walk home without getting mugged.”

• 136 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“No, you’re staying.” She motioned me inside the house.

I considered resisting. “All right. Thanks,” I said. “I just need a

blanket.” I nodded at the couch.

“A blanket?”

“Theo is here. So are your friends.” I shrugged. “Not the best

way to announce something.”

She just stared at me. Then she kissed me. “Thank you for

thinking of that.”

I nodded. It was all I could do.

❖

The light coming in the windows woke me up, I think. I turned,

burying my face in the pillow. Someone’s breath blew across my

cheek. That was odd. No one else was sharing my couch. I opened

one eye, then the other.

“Jeez, Theo.” His face was about six inches from mine. “You

scared me.”

“Hey, Alden.” He climbed onto the couch and sat on my

stomach. A bunch of grapes was clutched in his little hand. “You

want a grape?”

“No, I’m good. Thanks.”

“Okay.”

“Whatcha doin,’ T?” I had to pee and he was not helping.

“I dunno.” He shrugged. “I wake up early.”

“I can tell.” I reached behind my head and grabbed my cell

phone off the table. Almost six thirty. Two hours of sleep. “All right,

time to get up.” I lightly pushed him away and rolled off the couch.

“Where you goin’?” He followed me.

“Bathroom. Stay here.” I held up my hand. He stopped,

shrugged, and headed back toward the kitchen. When I came out he

was looking on the bottom shelf of the pantry.

“I’m hungry.”

“Want me to make you something?” I opened the fridge to

scope.

“Okay.”

• 137 •

aShley bartlett

“What do you like?” He shrugged. “What do you normally

eat for breakfast?” He shrugged. “What does Wes make you?” He

shrugged. This kid would make a great spy. He would never crack

under interrogation.

“I like grapes.” He thought a while. “And bacon.”

“How about waffles?”

He grinned real big. “I like waffles.”

“Great.” I looked back in the fridge, then the pantry. We had to

go to the store. I wanted to let Wes sleep, though. She probably got

up at like six every day. How the hell did she do that? “We gotta go

to the store.”

“Cool. Do we have to get dressed?” We both looked down. He

was wearing boxers with little sharks. That was it. I had on boxers

with little fish and a T-shirt. Cute, we matched.

“Probably.”

“I can do it alone.”

“You sure?” He nodded. “Great. I’ll meet you in the kitchen in

five minutes. Oh, and keep it down. Let everyone sleep.”

“Okay.” Up the stairs he went. I went back to the living room

and found my jeans and shoes. Five minutes later, he came running

back down the stairs. The boxers had been topped with a pair of Paul

Frank boardshorts. Theo was very fashionable. He was also wearing

the Vans I got him. Very cool. But still no shirt.

“How about a shirt?”

Theo looked down. “I don’t like shirts.”

“It might be cold.”

“Okay.” He ran back up the stairs and came back down almost

immediately wearing a sweatshirt. I was writing Wes a note. I

kidnapped your brother. I’m going to feed him junk food until he is

sick. XOXO Alden.

“Can you write?”

“I can do my name.”

“Great.” I handed the pen and the note over. “Put it there.”

He studied the blank space then slowly drew a big T. “Good?”

“Perfect.” The h-e-o was mostly for show anyway. I left our note

where it was easily visible and grabbed the car keys by the front door.

• 138 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“So do you drink coffee?” I asked as we drove into town. The

store was the opposite direction, but probably wasn’t open yet. I was

also going to die if I didn’t get some caffeine.

“No.” He giggled. “That’s for grown-ups.” Good answer. “I

like hot chocolate.”

“Cool.” We parked in front of Lucy’s. “Come on.” I waited

outside his door until he unbuckled his booster seat and climbed

down from the car.

“Can I get whip cream?”

“Do you normally?” I didn’t want to win over the kid with sugar.

“Yeah, but Wes says it’s a treat.” Close enough.

“Then yes.” We got to the counter. It was the first time I’d

seen it empty in Lucy’s. Ever. The chick behind the counter wasn’t

someone I recognized. She and Theo knew each other.

“Hey, Theo. Hot chocolate?” She was leaning over the counter

to see him.

“Yes, please. Alden said I can have whip cream.” He slid his

hand into mine and started swinging them back and forth. Kids had

no reservations. I wondered why that was.

“I’m guessing you’re Alden.” This girl looked like she was

ready to call the cops. Or Wes.

“Yeah. I’m a friend of Weston’s.” She was skeptical. “Tell her

I didn’t kidnap you, T.”

“She’s my sister’s girlfriend.” Oh my God. I wasn’t sure if I

was more surprised or if coffee chick was. Nope, me. “That’s what

Trevor says,” Theo explained in his innocent little voice.

“All right, so I guess a hot chocolate and an iced Americano,”

I said while trying not to hyperventilate.

“No problem.” Apparently, she was taking pity on me, but she

hadn’t let up on the death stare when we left.

Theo’s hot chocolate had more whip cream than milk and

the top was covered in chocolate sprinkles. It was a monument to

chocolate addicts and small children everywhere. Wes would kill

me if he spilled that in the car.

“Do you want to hang here to drink that?” I indicated one of the

tables outside. Theo briefly took his eyes off the cup he was carrying

• 139 •

aShley bartlett

with both hands to nod at me. His tongue was poking out of the

corner of his mouth again. We sat down and Theo started swinging

feet that didn’t quite reach the ground.

I had no idea what to talk to him about. What do you say to

kids? It turned out I didn’t have to worry because Theo was a talker

once he got going. I learned about his school and why it’s necessary

to look both ways when you cross the street and the fundamentals

of surfing. He talked so fast I barely could follow. This one-sided

dialogue continued through our morning coffee and the drive to the

grocery store. He was very informed.

I was kind of in denial about Theo. I liked him, and kids were

so not my thing. Even my niece and nephew I had been afraid of for

the first couple years, but Theo had managed to charm me. I wanted

him to like me. And not just because of his sister. The Duvalls made

me want something I’d never considered before. They were making

me think I’d found something that was worth the effort. Scary.

❖

“Do you want to help me make breakfast?” I asked Theo once

we returned from the store.

“I’m a good helper.”

“I figured.”

We set a chair in front of the sink and Theo started washing the

fruit and placing it in bowls. I watched him as I mixed ingredients

together. He was very meticulous. When he finished, I gave him a

butter knife so he could cut slices of banana.

“Hey, T.” He looked up at me. “When you’re done with that

you want to help me whip the egg whites?”

“Okay.” A look of consternation crossed his face. “What’s that?”

“You know how there are two parts in an egg?” He nodded.

“The clear part is called the white. If we whip it like whip cream it

will get white and fluffy.”

“Will it taste good?”

“No. It will taste gross.” I struggled not to smile at his look of

confusion. “But when we add it to the waffle batter, it will make it

all light and fluffy. That way the waffles will taste better.”

• 140 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“Cool. When are we makin’ whip cream?”

“After that probably.”

“Okay.” He turned back to the task in front of him, hurrying to

finish.

When he was done we moved the chair again so he was next

to me at the counter. I let Theo hold the mixer steady while I held a

towel over the top to contain spatters. Whenever the blades hit the

sides of the metal bowl he would jump in shocked delight at the

noise.

Actually folding the whites into the batter proved to be a

challenge. Theo wanted to help, but it made his little arm tired. After

trading off stirring, he eventually just placed his hand next to mine

on the spatula while I gently folded the batter.

Theo helped me set the table before I started making the waffles.

I set up one place setting and he mimicked the remaining four.

“You’re pretty good at that.”

“Thanks.” He finished setting the last place. “Why can’t I help

make the waffles?”

“Because the waffle iron gets really, really hot, and I don’t

want you to get burned. Besides, you already helped with all the

important stuff.” I didn’t want him to feel left out, but there was no

way he was going anywhere near that waffle iron.

“Really?”

“Totally. You did the fruit and you helped with the whip cream

and the batter.”

“Can I do anything else?” He was very helpful.

“Why don’t you go wake up everyone?”

“Okay.” He hesitated at the stairs. “Right now?”

“Yeah. Right now.”

“I’ll be back.” It was good to be informed.

❖

“Hey, Wes, gotta sec?” I nodded toward the back door. The five

of us had gone through more food than I thought possible, but hey,

we were still growing. The kitchen was a total mess. Trevor and

• 141 •

aShley bartlett

Jamie had offered to clean up, which was awesome because I hated

cleaning up after myself.

“What’s up?” she asked as we stepped outside and shut the

door behind us.

“Umm, I’m not sure how to say this.” I wasn’t. Still, I thought I

deserved to know if she was telling Trevor that I was her girlfriend,

especially if one of them was also telling Theo.

“Say what?” She looked a little worried.

“I’m not sure.” May as well just go for it. “See, this morning

T and I got coffee. Well, he got hot chocolate, and the barista chick

was giving me the death stare.” Get to the point, I told myself. I

wasn’t sure what the point was. “And, umm, Theo told her that I was

your girlfriend and that was why me and him were hanging out.”

Wes just stared. Her mouth was hanging open. Good, I thought

it was slightly unsettling too.

“He, uhh, said that Trevor told him.” She’d been quiet for a

while so I had to say something.

More silence. Then, “Trevor!” She screamed loud enough that

both Theo and Jamie looked up. Trevor looked a little scared. Jamie

gave him the what-did-you-do-now look. With a quick shrug, he

joined us outside.

“What’s up?”

“You told Theo that Alden was my girlfriend?” The volume

had been lowered, but not by much.

“No.” His eyes got big. “Okay, yes. Sort of.”

“Why?” Oh, that tone was scary. It was cold enough to kill. I

was so glad it wasn’t directed at me.

“He asked me.” Trevor shrugged. Part of me wanted to help

him; the other part wanted to deck him. Wasn’t that something

between me and Wes and Theo? “What should I have told him?”

“Nothing. Because it’s none of your damn business.” Wes

looked like she actually might hit him. I didn’t want to be around

anymore for this conversation.

“Come on, Wes. He isn’t stupid. He knew something was going

on.”

• 142 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“No shit, Trevor. That’s why I already talked to him.” Trevor

looked as shocked as I was. She talked to Theo about us?

“What did you tell him?” I had to ask.

“That we’re special friends,” Wes said. Might have been nice

of her to let me in on that.

“Maybe that’s why he asked me. Special friends is a little

vague.”

“Tell me exactly what he asked and what you told him.”

Interrogation. I was at an interrogation.

“All right, fine.” Trevor looked pissed now. “He asked if you

guys were friends like we’re friends.” Trevor indicated himself and

Wes. “And I said no. So he asked if you were friends like me and

Jamie are friends and I said yes. So then he asked if you guys were

married.” Wes and I both stepped back.

“Married?” I choked out.

“He’s a kid,” Trevor tossed at me, like that explained it. “So I

said no, you weren’t married. And then he asked if you were in love

and I said yes.” The second that final word was uttered Trevor’s

eyes bugged out and he said, “Oh, shit.” Then he spun around and

ran. Briefly, he stopped in the kitchen, gave T a high five, waved to

Jamie, and was gone. I heard the front door slam.

Wes and I just stood there.

“So I’m gonna go,” I finally managed.

“We should talk.”

“No, you and Theo need to talk. We don’t.”

“You’re kidding, right?” If I was, then Wes didn’t seem to find

it funny.

“Nope. I’m out.” I turned away.

“Don’t leave just because of Trevor.” She put a hand on my

arm to stall me. “He’s an idiot.”

“Is he? Or are we?” I didn’t know so I figured I’d ask her. The

silence indicated that she didn’t know either. “Right.”

• 143 •

• 144 •

Sex and SkateboardS

Chapter Sixteen

There aren’t many clubs in San Luis, which was good

because I hated clubs and Ollie loved them. Dancing was

so not my thing. The pub Ollie took me to was off Higuera nestled

between a cigar shop and a punk club. It was a kind of posh hole-

in-the-wall. The type where everything is rich brown and burgundy

leather that is about worn through and the only thing you feel

comfortable drinking is scotch or beer. There wasn’t any pansy beer

either, just Guinness and some other shit that would grow hair on

your chest.

We were there because Ollie insisted we play pool. I was

probably the worst pool player in the world. Ever. I only played

because I knew she liked it. That and I thought it made me look

cool. Ollie found us a table in a back room. Actually, it was more of

a wide hallway between the front section of the bar and a room in

the back with another bar. People would occasionally walk through

from one to the other.

I was leaning over, my pool cue lined up next to me so I could

get the right angle, and I felt someone’s hand slide onto my lower

back with her fingertips just low enough to dip under the edge of my

boxers. She leaned close so that half my body was covered with hers.

“Don’t mess up,” she breathed into my ear. That made me wet,

the sound of her voice and the breath in my ear.

“Hey, Wes,” I said all nonchalant as if I was so good at the

game not even she could throw me off.

• 145 •

aShley bartlett

“You’re losing.” The hand was under my shirt now, rubbing

back and forth, driving me crazy with those fingertips.

“How do you know I’m not a hustler?”

“You’re not.” She knew what she was doing to me. My breathing

had sped up and my heart rate was through the roof. Finally, I turned

to look into her eyes and she started laughing.

“Bitch,” I said softly. That made her laugh more. My hands were

shaking so bad my cue stick glanced off the ball, sending it in the

opposite direction. “Fuck.” Wes moved away as I straightened. We

both leaned against the wall and waited for Ollie to make her move.

“Dude, I didn’t think you could get any worse.” Ollie laughed

and chugged some beer. Girl could drink. It was one of the reasons

I liked her. “Damn, you suck.” She moved around the table shaking

her head in disgust.

“Whatever.” At least it was only pool.

“Stop pouting,” Wes said.

“What are you doing here anyway?” I didn’t get the impression

that this was a cool hang out.

“What the hell do you think? I’m here to kick your ass at pool,”

she boasted as Jamie walked up and handed her a beer.

“I thought you were here to kick my ass at pool,” Jamie said.

“Wes has this need to gamble and prove that she’s better than me.”

“I’m addicted. It’s true.” They both nodded somberly like Wes

had a real problem. “Besides, Trevor and Theo are doing a movie

marathon.”

“And eating their weight in junk food,” Jamie added.

“All right.” They hadn’t explained much.

“And that’s how you play pool,” Ollie taunted me from across

the table. While we’d been talking, she’d cleared the three remaining

striped balls leaving twice that many of mine.

“Dude,” Wes was talking to Jamie again, “we have to do it.”

Jamie nodded at her. They took this shit way too seriously. “We

totally challenge you guys to a competition,” Wes stated.

“You are so on,” Ollie returned. “Losers buy.” She saluted the

three of us with the remainder of her beer so I lifted my glass toward

her then drained my beer too.

• 146 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“You guys can do the thing where you set up the balls.” If I was

going to lose, I wanted them to know it was because I was ignorant

and lazy, not because I sucked. “I’m getting more beer.” They

ignored me. Wes and Jamie were comparing cue sticks anyway.

Ollie came up close when I returned with two pints in hand and

leaned her head in like we were strategizing.

“Ollie, you know I suck at this.” I indulged her by lowering

my voice.

“I know. Weston is all cocky, though, so I’m counting on you

to distract her.” Our competitors were watching us across the pool

table.

“Distract her how?” There was no way she meant what I

thought.

“I don’t know. Be sexy or something. Flip up your collar.” I

had my favorite jacket on. Faded black, lightweight, workman

jacket with just the right amount of stiffness in the collar. “And do

that sleeve rolling thing.”

“Like this?” I cuffed my sleeves back to mid forearm then

popped my collar.

“Yeah. And run your fingers through your hair more.” As if any

of Ollie’s stupid antics might work, I did as I was told. My hair was

past needing a haircut so that it hung into my eyes and over my ears.

“Damn, dude. You look hot.”

“Whatever.” Oddly, it seemed to be working. Wes was checking

me out. I could tell. They were pretending to size us up. I started

doing the same to her. She was wearing tight, straight leg blue jeans

with high-tops, off-white Chuck Taylor’s. Her T-shirt was the same

color as the shoes with a dark red Puma logo across her chest. The

shirt was tight everywhere it was supposed to be. She looked good.

“You guys want to break?” Jamie deliberately set the cue ball

down.

“Knock yourselves out.” I graciously gestured toward the table.

With a nod, Wes bent low over the table and lined up her shot.

The edge of her tee came up in the back and I could see a couple

inches of the tight boxers she was wearing. I couldn’t understand

how she looked so damn sexy all the time.

• 147 •

aShley bartlett

Turned out that Jamie wasn’t exactly a slouch at pool either. The

first game was pathetic. They totally killed us. Ollie looked ready to

smack me, but went to replenish everyone’s beers as promised. I

practiced shooting. Nope, not any easier without her yelling. All

three of them would lean down real low to line up the shot they

wanted. I tried that. I was pretty sure I looked more authentic, but I

still sucked. I had to step it up.

A couple minutes into the next game, I leaned against the table

where I knew Wes was going to shoot.

“You want to move?” She stepped close to me with a mocking

challenge in her eyes.

“Naw, I’m good.” I pushed my hair back out of my face. Her

eyes followed my movements and she started to suck her bottom lip

into her mouth. Maybe Ollie was right about the hair thing.

“You’re in my way.” Her body was close enough now that we

were touching. One of her legs went between mine and our faces

were inches apart.

“Yeah?” I could smell her hair. The oranges and spice mixed

with sea salt that I was now addicted to. I leaned in closer to say,

“Good luck getting rid of me.” She pressed closer so that her thigh

was right where I wanted it.

“You’re not as hot as you think.” She said it right in my ear

then kissed my neck in that soft spot under my jaw with just the

right amount of tongue. When I relaxed into the kiss she used her

shoulder to shove me out of the way.

“Neither are you.” I remained where I was so that she couldn’t

make her shot without touching me. It worked. The cue ball spiraled

off at the wrong angle, completely missing what she was aiming for.

“Damn.” She was trying not to smile, but her eyes gave her

away. She was turned on and it was throwing off her game. Jamie

and Ollie pretended they were really interested in the wall. Music

was playing loud enough that I knew they couldn’t hear, but they

weren’t blind. Ollie gave me a discrete high five before sinking her

next shot.

I continued to get in front of Wes whenever possible as well as

touching things I wasn’t supposed to touch while she was shooting,

• 148 •

Sex and SkateboardS

like denim in certain places. It worked. We won. Wes grudgingly

ordered a round of drinks for us. She’d caught on to Ollie’s brilliant

plan though.

I was leaning against the wall watching Jamie shoot. Wes came

up and leaned against me like, oh, are you standing here too? She

crossed her arms over her chest, pressed her ass into my crotch,

and leaned her head against my shoulder. It felt good. I got a little

courageous and draped an arm around her. Ollie raised her eyebrows

at me blatantly. Jamie started smiling at the stick in her hands. Wes

or I would go shoot, but we’d come back and resume some variation

of the initial pose. She tucked her hand into the back of my boxers

again—I was starting to think that was her thing—and her other arm

went around my waist. I wasn’t quite to the point where I was going

to press her against the wall or anything, but I was close. My boxers

were totally soaked. At least it wasn’t making me play any worse

because that was pretty impossible.

Halfway through the next game there was a scuffle on the other

side of the door and a group of guys walked through. Wes dropped

her hands and walked away to take a swig of her beer. Weird. She

did it again a little while later. My arm was around her shoulders and

we heard someone coming again. She removed my hand, walked

over, and started talking to Jamie. The third time there wasn’t

any excuse. A group of women hanging on each other for balance

tumbled through. Wes pushed away and put some of that blue chalk

shit on her cue stick. She could have come up with a better reason

than that.

“I’m going to have a cigarette,” I announced. Ollie looked up

confused and a little concerned. Wes played it off like it was normal.

Fuck that.

All of a sudden, the air in there seemed all warm and

suffocating. I couldn’t get outside fast enough. On the street, there

were tons of people. Some big punk band was playing next door so

the line overflowed off the sidewalk into the street. Mostly fifteen-

year-olds in Hot Topic punk gear with cheap flasks sticking out of

their back pockets. Posers. I walked down toward Marsh Street so

I could breathe. I found a decent patch of wall to lean against and

• 149 •

aShley bartlett

smoke my cigarette, but it went too fast so I tossed the used butt

and lit another.

I’d found our relationship to be an increasing game of truth or

dare. The object was to see who would go the farthest. Who could

act the most like we were together without actually crossing the line

of being together? It worked I guess, but I was aware of this pain

of constant rejection. The problem was that she was with me and at

the same time took no steps to acknowledge me. Not that I’d given

her any reason to acknowledge me. I didn’t know which of us I was

more pissed at.

Why did she act like that? Like I was so hideous she couldn’t be

seen in public with me. I was horny too, and that just fuckin’ sucked.

Even more pathetically, I knew that no matter how she treated me,

no matter how pissed off I was, I knew I loved her. And that was

fuckin’ scary. Even the anger that haunted me as I walked away was

infused with the need for her. It wasn’t one of those seeing brilliant

flashes of color type of realizations, it was more like I realized, as

I stood there angry and sucking on my cigarette, that I wasn’t the

same because of Wes. I started replaying the last month in my head,

trying to see where I went wrong, when it happened. I wanted to find

the exact moment I fell for her and couldn’t go back. There was no

moment.

I so wasn’t ready. Or at least I told myself that. Fuck it, maybe

Ollie was right.

A group of chicks stumbled down the sidewalk toward me.

They’d been drinking. All of them were botoxed to the max and

wearing slutty little dresses. Maybe I was being too critical. A few

were carrying their heels and walking barefoot. Girls like that always

seem to travel in packs. The group stopped and one asked where

some wine bar was. I didn’t know. She stayed and the rest walked on.

“Do you have another cigarette?” She smiled and pulled her

skirt lower. Thank God. I so did not want to see her ass. I held out

my open cigarette pack and let her take one. Maybe she would go

away. I didn’t want to talk.

“Thanks.” She giggled like a teenager. Hopefully, it was the

alcohol giggling. “You’re hot.” More giggling. Great. This chick

• 150 •

Sex and SkateboardS

was so straight it hurt, which meant she either thought I was a dude

or she thought it would be fun to make out with a girl who looked

like a boy. Either way, I so was not sticking around.

“Thanks.” I tossed my butt toward the curb and pushed off the

wall.

“Where are you going?” If I ignored her maybe she would

get the hint. I shrugged in response. “You should stay and talk

to me.” She giggled again and started walking next to me. Her

heels clicked with every step, which annoyed the hell out of me.

I just didn’t have the energy to tell her to go away so I lit another

cigarette and leaned against the wall again. At least it stopped the

heels from clicking.

“You’re, like, super quiet.” She was drunk enough that she

didn’t realize how close she was standing. I could smell wine on

her breath. It made me want to hurl. “I like your jacket.” She started

playing with my collar. I was so done. Carefully, I removed the hand

from my jacket.

“What the hell are you doing?” Wes came around the corner.

I wasn’t sure if she was talking to my new friend or me, but she

looked pissed.

“Uh-oh.” The genius next to me dropped back a step. “Who’s

that?”

“Hey, Wes.” I wasn’t going to apologize or act sorry. I’d done

nothing wrong. The chick backed up another step.

“We should go back in.” Wes grabbed my hand possessively

and yanked me closer so she could wrap her arm around my waist.

I guess it wasn’t me she was pissed at. The girl started stumbling in

the direction her friends had gone.

“Why?” I stopped walking, stopped allowing her to drag me up

the street. “Why should we go back in? To play more fun pool? Or

so you can ignore me publicly?” Wes looked at me like I was crazy.

“Really, Wes, I’d rather not.”

“I thought we were just playing around.” She was lying and we

both knew it.

“We were until random people started walking by and you

couldn’t get away fast enough.”

• 151 •

aShley bartlett

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I couldn’t believe

she was going to act like it never happened.

“Sure you do. And just so you know, it hurts, like actual physical

pain. If you don’t want me then fine. Just put me out of my misery,

all right?” Wes stared at me completely silent. The air between us

was tangible, punctuated with noise from the street. It stretched and

became my world, a world of waiting for her to speak.

“Fine. I’m leaving. Do me a favor. Don’t call.” And then she

started walking away.

She wasn’t supposed to call my bluff. “Wait.” I went after her.

“Where are you going?”

Wes spun back so fast I nearly collided with her. “Don’t put this

on me. Don’t even try. You’re the one who keeps running away. And

I am so done chasing you.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I asked.

“I’m talking about this running loop of Alden phrases that

keeps playing in my head. Kids are great as long as you can give

them back to their parents when you’re done playing. Isn’t that what

you said?” Yes, but I wasn’t going to admit that. “Oh, and you and I

don’t need to talk, but Theo and I do. Like you’re not the reason we

need to talk. Not to mention the thousand fucking times I’ve asked

you something and you just didn’t know. Is there anything you do

know?”

“I’m sorry.” What else could I say?

“That’s great. Thank you, Alden.” I didn’t think she meant

that. “Seriously. That just made it all better.” Nope, definitely didn’t

mean it.

“What do you want me to say?”

“That’s up to you. You’re either in or you’re out.” She turned to

walk up the street again.

“I think we should give it a shot,” I called after her. Damn, but

it was scary to say that. Maybe there was a chance. I had to try.

Wes glanced over her shoulder. “Try thinking about it for more

than five seconds.” And then she kept walking.

“Can you just not be mad at me for a minute? It’ll be a lot easier

to talk.”

• 152 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“Fine.” Wes crossed her arms and waited.

“I’m not going anywhere. You want to talk? We can talk.” I

was actually planning on letting her talk, but she didn’t look like she

was going to say anything else. Apparently, I had the floor. “I like

you. I like Theo. I want to be around you guys. No, I don’t know

about next month, or next year. But right now, I want to be here.

With you.”

“Not good enough.”

That was it. Now, I was pissed. “What the fuck should I say?

You want me to propose or something? Not my style.”

“No. I want you to…” Good, she didn’t know what she wanted

either. “Why do you have to make this so hard?”

“I didn’t make it that way.” It wasn’t my fault. We had to blame

that on God or something. “I can’t help it.”

“You think I can?” Silent little tears overflowed from her eyes

and clung to her cheeks. This was all news to me. “I wish I wasn’t

in love with you, Alden, but I am.” She loved me? This was some

kind of sick joke. My heart was beating so hard and so fast I was

probably gonna die. My hands felt damp and my mouth dry. There

was no way she just said that she was in love. With me. No fucking

way.

“Did you just say you loved me?” In response, she kissed

me long and hard enough that I lost all the blood and oxygen and

common sense in my head. There was only Wes in there sucking on

my tongue, fingers in my hair, and when she pulled away, I could

feel tears on my cheeks. I didn’t know whose they were. “Then why

won’t you be with me?”

“Because you’re perfect with Theo and you’re an ass to me.”

“Huh?” This chick was so damn confusing.

“You have this weird parenting sixth sense with him. You get

him to eat vegetables and wear shirts and I know you’ve never seen

him throw a tantrum, but you would probably handle it fucking

perfectly.” Then why was she so pissed?

“Umm, aren’t those all good things?”

“They’re great at the moment. And it’ll make it that much

worse when you take off.”

• 153 •

aShley bartlett

“Who says I’m gonna take off?”

“You do. Every time you wear your immaturity as a badge of

honor.” Sure, it sounded bad when she said it like that.

“So you love me and I’m good with Theo? Shouldn’t this be

simple?”

“No.” I knew she was going to say that. Knowing it still didn’t

ease the pain.

“Why?” It came out a harsh rasp.

“I have to think about Theo. I made a decision to take him

so now I have to think about what’s best for him.” I knew how

much this was killing me; it had to be doing the same to her. That

knowledge, that she would deprive herself too, made me lose it.

“Then maybe you should have thought about that before you

took him in.” That was so not the right thing to say. I wanted it

back even as I said it. I wanted it back as I stood there waiting for a

response. Her face fell as it sank in. There was no more room between

us for anger anymore. All she had was the pain and confusion that

I’d caused her.

It stretched between us, Wes trying to respond, and me trying

to figure out how to take it back.

“Fuck you,” she said simply. Then she leaned against the wall

and stared up at the night sky. “Just leave, Alden.” I wanted to say

something, anything. There was no way to fix it. So I took off. As

I rounded the corner, I looked back. She’d slid to the ground and

buried her face in her hands. I hated myself.

• 154 •

Sex and SkateboardS

Chapter Seventeen

It was loud. The stereo was bumpin’ The Faint Remixes,

which were pretty damn awesome. A mechanical voice

repeating control, control, control over a heavy beat reverberated

through the room. I was at some party. I wasn’t sure what day it was

or what time it was or how long I had been gone. The past couple

days were a blur of bars and clubs and parties like this one. It was

dark out and the bay leered at me just outside the window. Great, I

was still in the city. The only thing I was sure of was that I hadn’t

been sober from the moment I set foot on the gum-piss-puke-ridden

sidewalk.

Lauren was leaning in a corner drinking out of a plastic cup. I

wasn’t sure what she was doing, but I knew I wasn’t going to like

it. She was giving me a look that I couldn’t figure out, somewhere

between I hate you and I love you and you are really, really stupid.

Fuck her. I needed another beer. The music was still repeating

control, control.

I wandered through the dimly lit house until I found the kitchen.

Kegs were set up on the floor and various detritus consumed the

counter. Classy. Some dude was pumping a keg in the corner. When

I got closer I recognized him.

“Mickey. Bro.”

“Alden. Dude, I heard you were back.” He held out his closed

fist and I bumped my knuckles against his, the type of greeting that

says I don’t know your last name. “You want?” He pointed at the

• 155 •

aShley bartlett

empty plastic cup in my hand. I handed it over. The music was just

as loud in the kitchen.

I straight chugged half the cup of beer. A hand came from

nowhere and yanked it from my lips spilling some down my T-shirt.

“You’re done.” Lauren tossed the cup into the overflowing

sink. Beer sloshed onto the counter.

“Fuck you.” I stared at the liquid on my shirt. “What’s your

fuckin’ problem?”

“Yeah. What’s your problem?” Mickey echoed.

She gave us both disgusted looks. “You”—Lauren pushed

a finger into my chest—“are so trashed you can’t even talk. You

haven’t slept in what? Four days? You can barely walk, let alone a

straight line.” As she talked she backed me into a wall. Her fingers

curled into my shirt and she shook me. “You are fucked up.” Control,

control.

“Dude, Lauren.” I was too drunk to push her away. “Headache.”

“We’re leaving.” She let go of me and started to walk away.

I tried to follow and stumbled. Her arm circled my waist and she

walked me in the direction of the stairs, but ran into Mickey. How

did he get there so fast?

“Dude, you can’t leave. We’re just starting.” He joked, but I

knew that look. Prick. Checking out Lauren’s tits. Control, control,

control, control.

“Way out of your league, dude.” Then I started laughing. I was

fucking hilarious. He was pretty pissed.

“Fuck you, man.” He pushed me and I dropped back a few

steps. But he was drunk too so I did the logical thing. I tackled him.

Maybe Lauren was right, I was a bit fucked up.

He fell back and I landed on top. I got one decent punch in

before he rolled me over and we grappled for a minute pathetically.

Someone was screaming. I started laughing again. He punched me in

the stomach, hard. Asshole. Lauren’s red Puma shot out from my right

and kicked him off me. He curled up on himself. She hauled me up

by my belt and we were in motion down the stairs. The music faded

away. Adrenaline kept me from falling down. Once on the street, I

stopped to lose a gallon of stomach acid and alcohol in the gutter.

• 156 •

Sex and SkateboardS

Her cool hand rubbed my back. “Let it out, babe.”

“Why are you here?” I choked out from my still doubled-over

position.

“Ollie called and told me to find you. Please tell me you didn’t

drive here.”

The taste of alcohol and vomit lingered on my tongue so I spit

as I straightened. I glanced up and down the street. My truck wasn’t

there. “I don’t know where I left it.”

“Huh?”

“My truck.”

“You don’t remember at all?” I shook my head and that made

her laugh. “You are so screwed. Come on. My car is this way.” She

put her arm around my waist because I was shaking.

I spit again attempting to rid my mouth of the acidic flavor. My

legs were starting to come back along with the cockiness, or rather a

sort of drunk desperation. “Hey, Lauren, where are you taking me?

You gonna nurse me back to health?”

She released her hold and continued walking in silence.

“Come on, babe.” I slung my arm around her shoulders and

leaned toward her ear. “You wanna fuck me, Lauren?” My mouth

still tasted disgusting so I turned and spit again.

“I’m taking you to your brother’s.” She pushed me away.

“You’re not gonna fuck me? Come on. You know you want

me.” I held my arms out in an aggressive, come get me stance. I saw

moisture fall onto my T-shirt. It must have been raining.

“What is wrong with you?” She looked at me like I had lost it.

“Why doesn’t anybody want me?” My face was wet too, and

I realized I was crying. I couldn’t even breathe. I half-fell, half-

crouched and buried my head in my arms. She cupped under my

armpits, hauled me up, and folded me into her arms. When I quieted

down she let me go and stood on her toes to kiss my forehead. I

wasn’t going to tell her the story. It was too embarrassing. I was an

embarrassment. The story poured out anyway. The whole pathetic

thing.

“I love you,” Lauren said and then she just watched me in the

sick and meager streetlight. “But you need to grow up.” When I

• 157 •

aShley bartlett

shrugged in response, she continued her censure. “And you’re right,

by the way. You are hella dumb.”

She wasn’t trying to be cruel, just honest. I realized her word

choice and started laughing. “Dude, they don’t say hella in SoCal,”

I said. “They think I’m a loser when I say it.”

A grin crept onto her face. “Come on. Let’s get out of here. You

need a shower and some sleep.”

“Okay, Mom.”

“Don’t give me that. You look like shit and you smell.”

“I missed you.” I meant it too.

❖

Thomas lived about thirty minutes out of the city. We had to

cross the Golden Gate, which sucked. We had just merged when

Lauren rolled her window down.

“Is it hot in here? I’m burning up.” Her cheeks were a bit red.

That was odd because it’s never hot in SF. Ever.

“I’m fine.” We were just starting to cross the water and it was

one of those clear nights. I stared back at the city in the rearview

mirror. That’s the only thing I liked about SF. Watching it at night

when I was an outsider. I sank down into my seat and let the cool air

and the view wash over me.

“I feel kinda sick.”

“Are you all right, dude?” I looked at her again. Her face was

definitely red now. Small beads of sweat gathered on her forehead.

“I think I’m going to hurl. I’m pulling over.”

That got me to sit up. “Lauren, you can’t stop on here.” The fine

was huge. “We’re over halfway. Just wait until we get over the bridge.”

She swallowed hard and nodded slightly. “’Kay.”

“We’re almost to the second tower.” I pointed up. “Just a little

longer. You can stop at that Vista Point thing and ralph all you want.”

We barely made it off the bridge when Lauren vaulted out of the car

and lost it on the asphalt. I staggered around the car so that I was

standing next to her.

“You okay? Where the hell did that come from?”

• 158 •

Sex and SkateboardS

She sank to the ground with her back against the car. Her skin

looked clammy and her eyes were sleepy. “Fuck, I have no idea. I

feel a hell of a lot better now.” A grin muscled its way onto her face.

“Come on.” I held my hands out and she gripped them so I

could pull her to her feet. “You should definitely crash at my bro’s

tonight.”

“Maybe. That was weird. I didn’t even drink earlier. All I had

was water.” She took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes.

“Totally weird. You, uh, want me to drive?”

“Yeah, right. You’re still drunk.” Good point.

We got back on the road and made it as far as Marin before

Lauren started looking really sleepy.

“Are you sure you’re all right?”

“I’m fine. I just feel sick, you know. But the fresh air feels—”

She cut off mid-sentence and her head slumped forward. She looked

dead suspended from her seatbelt.

“Lauren!” I screamed and reached to grab the wheel. The car

flew off the road slammed into a tree. Everything was slow and fast at

once. I kept moving when the car stopped, my body slammed into the

dashboard, but I didn’t feel it. All I could see was Lauren. Her head

bounced off the steering wheel like a sick marionette and her glasses

went flying. Everything went still, but I saw it again and again in my

head. I tried to reach for her and the pain hit. I looked at my arm, the

one I had tried to grab the wheel with, and it was hanging there, bent

in a way it shouldn’t have been. My stomach rolled looking at it, but

I couldn’t make sense of why it looked that way.

Everything hurt and I knew Lauren was dead. Everything hurt

because Lauren was dead. My head was spinning. It took me a

minute to get the courage to touch her. When I tried to reach across

the gap with my right hand, my side erupted into hot, blinding

pain. I gritted my teeth and tried again. I had to know. I slipped two

fingers onto her neck searching for her pulse. I didn’t feel anything.

I tried again. I couldn’t feel the pain anymore because everything

was concentrated on the two fingers against Lauren’s neck. Nothing.

I yanked my hand away, collapsing against the seat. My pants were

too tight to get my cell phone out of my pocket so I opened the car

• 159 •

aShley bartlett

door and fell out. The pain erupted on my side again. On my back,

I stretched out and was able to get the phone out of my jeans to call

911. Tears dripped down my face and collected in my ears. I killed

Lauren. I watched the sky until everything around me went red and

washed away the moonlight.

❖

“Here. Let me get that.” Thomas opened the car door for me.

He looked tempted to help me into the seat. Thankfully, he restrained

himself. As I slid into the car, he walked around the driver’s side. I

was moving slowly because everything still hurt. My ribs were sore

and my left arm was heavy so I held both arms close to my chest

to compensate. The last time I had broken a bone, I was fifteen and

the lime green thing encompassing my arm made me feel like a kid

again, but not in a good way.

My brother glanced at me as the engine turned over. “You

ready to go?”

I couldn’t pull the seatbelt across my chest with my left hand

because it was broken, and I couldn’t move my right side a lot

because of my ribs. I hated this shit.

“I, uh, can’t put on my seatbelt. And I should probably start

wearing one.”

“Don’t worry. I got it.” He leaned over me and pulled the belt

across my chest. “There you go. Let’s get out of here, kiddo.”

I tried not to smile at the childhood endearment. I fumbled with

the little plastic pieces on the side of my seat until it reclined a little

and I stretched my legs in front of me.

I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep when we started

crossing the Golden Gate and didn’t open them again until Thomas

announced that we had passed Marin. I guess the feigning sleep

didn’t fool him.

“Does it hurt bad?”

“Yeah, I had them stop the painkillers once I figured out what

was going on.”

“What?” He looked at me like I was crazy. I was. “Why?”

• 160 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“My blood alcohol level was 0.29 when I got to the hospital.”

“Damn, Alden,” he muttered.

“So I’m laying off the chemicals a bit,” I said weakly. “I think

I’ll try out this whole acting like an adult thing.”

“That’s good. Good for you. Did the, umm, accident prompt

you?”

“I don’t know. Mostly. I guess.” It was only a partial lie.

He reached across the space between us and patted my knee.

He looked identical to my dad when he did it. His movements were

the same, even the look on his face.

“What?”

“You looked like Dad when you did that.” We had different

fathers, but mine raised him. It was odd that he still picked up my

dad’s mannerisms. We both watched the road in silence for a while,

the dark brown and green scenery rushing past the windows.

“So are you going to tell me what happened?” He waited for a

response then plowed on when none came. “I mean a couple days

ago you showed up at like four in the morning, crashed on the couch,

and by the time Lily got home from work. Your truck was still there,

but you were gone.”

“My truck is at your house?” Awesome. I would have been so

fucked.

“Where else would it be?” He gave me that “you’re crazy” look.

“I, uh, didn’t remember the, um, exact location of it.” I paused

and decided to fess up. “I didn’t even know I went to your house.

Damn, I’m a fuck up.” I pushed my hair back off my forehead and I

could feel it sticking straight up.

“That saves us a conversation. I mean if you know you are

being an ass, I don’t have to beat you up about it.” I caught the smirk

at the corner of his mouth.

“So are the kids going to be home?” It was time for a new topic.

“They will be in about an hour. I figured you might want to get

cleaned up before they saw you. Lily took them somewhere.”

“A shower would definitely be a good idea. You’ll have to

help me wrap this thing.” I raised my cast off my chest a little to

demonstrate.

• 161 •

aShley bartlett

“You still haven’t told me why you are here. Last time we talked

you were totally in love with the girl of the week and the restaurant

was about to open. It sounded like you had your shit together.”

The tears rose to my eyes. What the hell was wrong with me?

That damn lump was back in my throat and I tried to swallow it. I

blinked the tears away, but one fell. I hated when that happened.

Thomas looked over to see why I hadn’t answered.

“Alden?”

I pulled the sweatshirt collar up and wiped my eyes on it. “I’m

fine.”

“Liar.”

“She’s not like that.”

“You want to tell me what you are talking about or are we

playing twenty questions?”

“She wasn’t just like some girl. She…” I trailed off trying to

find the words to describe her and failing. “It doesn’t matter anyway

because I fucked it up.”

Thomas turned onto his street and waited for me to start talking.

I kept silent until we pulled into the driveway where Thomas shut

the car off and folded his arms across his chest. The message was

clear: We are not getting out of this car until you tell me.

I gave it a few minutes. My dignity was already out the window,

though, so I started talking. I told him about fighting with Wes and

the subsequent running away. I didn’t tell him I loved her. When I

reached the part where Lauren puked, I faltered.

He let me sit quietly for a minute then broke the silence. “Come

on. I’ll wrap up your arm while we talk.”

I nodded and followed him up the walkway to the house.

“Why did you get in the car with Lauren if she was drunk?” he

asked as he carefully wrapped a plastic bag around the cast on my

arm.

“She wasn’t drunk. Someone at the party slipped her GHB.

That was why we crashed. Lauren’s heart stopped.” I made it this far

without totally sobbing like a little girl. I wasn’t going to start now. I

took a deep breath. “She’s still in a coma. That’s why I took so long

• 162 •

Sex and SkateboardS

to call you.” I’d waited until a nurse explained in a painfully nice

way that they had no idea when or if she would wake up.

“Damn. I’m sorry.” He expelled a big breath of air. “You know

we could have stayed, right?”

I nodded but refrained from making eye contact.

“You think it is your fault, don’t you?”

Why was I so easy to read?

“I know you are doing your whole self-loathing thing right now,

but what happened to Lauren is not your fault. You can’t control

anything beyond your own actions.”

If only I could control those. I was disappointed. And scared.

I’d have to face Ollie. Delma too. They didn’t scare me. It was Wes.

The thought of admitting what a fuck up loser I was to her made

me want to drive off Highway One, the idea of her seeing how

irresponsible I really was. How irresponsible I chose to be. And for

what? So I wouldn’t have to grow up? Pathetic.

“Dude, I put her in that situation. Lauren never would have

been there if it wasn’t for me.”

“No, Alden, the only person responsible for drugging your

friend is the one who gave her the drugs. It is that simple.” I still

refused to meet his eyes so he grabbed my chin and forced me to

look at him. “It is that simple.” He waited until I nodded again then

released me. “Go shower. They’ll be home soon. I’ll find you some

more clothes.”

“There might be some in my truck.”

“Gotcha.” He dug around in a kitchen drawer until he found a

copy of the truck key. I was halfway up the stairs when I heard his

voice again. “You should call Olivia. She’s worried about you.”

“Okay.”

“And Weston…” He paused. “If she means that much to you.”

I continued up the stairs into the bathroom and shut the door

behind me.

• 163 •

• 164 •

Sex and SkateboardS

Chapter eighteen

You got a phone call when you were in the shower.” Thomas

was waiting for me in the kitchen.

“From who?” I asked skeptically. No one knew I was there.

“Delma.”

“Shit.” I shouldn’t have taken such a long shower. “What did

she say? Should I call her back?” Finally, I asked what I wanted to

know. “How’s Lauren?”

“She’s awake. She’s fine, Alden.” Thomas took a step toward

me then stopped himself.

I expected the weight to lift from my chest, but it didn’t. I still

couldn’t breathe. Lauren was safe, but the fear wasn’t what was

killing me. It was everything I’d done. The things I couldn’t change.

“Fuck.” It was all I could think to say. “For real? Is she talking?

Is she mad? Can I go see her?”

“Yes, yes, no. Wait. What were the questions?”

“Asshole.”

“She’s fine. You want a root beer?” Only he could go from

coma to root beer. He held up a glass bottle in my direction. At my

nod, he popped the cap off and slid it across the counter.

“Delma wanted you to call Olivia. They’ve already spoken, but

Olivia wants to talk to you.” He sank into a chair at the kitchen table.

I followed him.

“Shit. She’s mad isn’t she?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “One way to find out.”

• 165 •

aShley bartlett

“How?” I was all ears.

Thomas handed me the phone.

“Right.” I took the phone. “I should call her.”

His head bobbed up and down in agreement. I stood to go

upstairs and make my phone call.

“Not so fast.” Lily walked into the kitchen. “Your brother

already told me how you got here.” She pointed to the chair I’d been

sitting in for the last five minutes. “I want to know about the girl.”

“Well, fuck.” I sank back down. My root beer was still half full.

I drank some, studied the bottle, drank some more.

“Alden?” Lily sat across from me, next to Thomas.

“She’s beautiful. I mean like gorgeous. And smart, of course.

She’s a photographer and sometimes she’ll just start taking pictures

of me when I’m not paying attention.” They looked at each other

like I was crazy. “It sounds weird, but it’s not. It’s more like sweet

than anything.” It was impossible to describe how cool she was.

“Her parents died a few years ago so she is totally raising her little

brother, and she…I don’t know. She’s just awesome. I couldn’t do

that.”

“I’m still a little lost. Do what?” Lily was probing. I’d been

under Lily’s scrutiny before. I knew the drill.

“Raise a kid. I mean they are tiny little people who depend

entirely on you. Especially if they were just sprung on you like

that.” My hand was back in my hair again pulling it out sideways. I

was almost used to the pain in my ribs.

“Damn. I guess we need to call our lawyer,” Thomas said to

Lily. I couldn’t help but hear. I was pretty sure he’d said it for my

benefit anyway.

“Now you’ve lost me.”

“You’re the one who gets the kids if we kick the bucket.” He

had no tact.

“Shut up, dude.” They looked at each other then back at me.

They looked pretty serious. “You’ve got to be kidding.”

“I thought you knew. I mean, don’t you remember us talking

to you about our assets and all that stuff?” Now Thomas was acting

like I was the dense one.

• 166 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“Yeah, but I thought you meant like the house. Why the hell

would you give me your children?”

“Because you are great with them and we trust you.”

“Have you seen me? I’m an irresponsible loser.” That sounded

a lot like yelling, but it wasn’t; it was hysteria.

Thomas started laughing and Lily was smiling. Not exactly

the response I expected. They looked at each other again and Lily

spoke. “Nope. We trust you.”

“That’s it? We trust you. That isn’t a response.” Why was my

voice so damn loud?

He shrugged. “It’s not like I’m planning on driving off a cliff

tomorrow. But if you feel that way, I’ll call our lawyer.”

I leaned back in my seat and sulked a little before something

occurred to me. “Wait. Who gets them if I don’t?”

They looked at each other doing that eye communication thing.

“Probably Katie,” Thomas said finally.

“Katie? No way. That chick is weird.” My sister was fuckin’

psycho. “Last time we talked she told me she was going freegan, and

I’m not sure if she was kidding. Freegan, guys. That’s not healthy

for kids. Or anyone.” I realized that Lily was trying not to laugh at

my tirade. Thomas was struggling not to spit a mouthful of soda all

over the table. “Stop laughing. I’m being serious.”

“All right, fine, you win.” Lily patted my hand reassuringly.

“What just happened?”

“You insisted that you were the best person to take care of my

children if my husband and I become unable to do so.” She sounded

like a damn lawyer.

“Shit. Are you serious? You really would want me?” They nodded

simultaneously. I hated how they always agreed. “Thanks. I guess.”

“It wasn’t a hard decision, sweetie. You love the kids and they

love you. That’s what’s important.” Lily came around the table and

gave me a careful hug. “You can make your phone call now.”

I drained my root beer as Lily left the room. Thomas did the

same then rinsed both our bottles in the sink and tossed them in the

recycling. He gave me what I think was an encouraging smile and

left me alone.

• 167 •

aShley bartlett

I called Ollie.

“I’m going to kick your ass,” was how she answered the phone.

“I’m sorry, Ollie.” That was always a good place to start.

Per the usual, I was quick to apologize for my indiscretions. I just

usually wasn’t sorry enough to change.

“I know you are. Have you talked to Delma?”

“No. My brother did.”

“Well, Lauren’s fine. She’s going home later today.”

“Good.” I let out a sigh of relief. “That’s awesome.”

“You, however, are in trouble.” She used her stern voice. That

meant she was only half serious. “I can’t believe you left me at

that bar alone. And fuck, for what, McKenna? To run off and drink

yourself into oblivion? Grow up.”

Shit. Hard to argue with that.

“I’m sorry, Ollie. Really.”

“Don’t apologize to me.” Ollie paused for emphasis. “She

keeps coming by the restaurant, you know?”

“Huh?”

“Weston, genius.”

“Oh.” I was too shocked to say more than, “Why?” Maybe Wes

did care. Damn, I really fucked up.

“I’m not the only one you ran away from,” Ollie said quietly.

I hated hearing the truth. It was so much harder to ignore it that

way. I was totally feeling guilty over Lauren. It made for a great

mask for my guilt over Wes. Guess that was out the window now.

“I don’t know what happened, but it must have been bad. You

went on a bender. She’s sad. Can’t you just fix it for my sake?”

“Why do you assume it was my fault?”

Ollie was silent.

“Fine. You’re right. I said some stupid shit. And did some stupid

shit. I just wanted…I don’t know what I want.” I sounded crazy. “I

just don’t see why chicks always want to talk about everything.”

“Maybe because that’s what big kids do.”

“Talking blows.”

She laughed at me, in a nice way. “Have you considered telling

her?”

• 168 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“Telling her what?” I asked like a genius.

“How you feel.”

“Oh, that.” Yeah, right. “Maybe when I get back.” I was already

nauseous at the prospect.

“Sure, maybe then.” Ollie let it go at that.

❖

I should have been scared because I knew what was about

to happen. It probably involved yelling. The worst part was that

whatever Wes said, she was right. Actually, the worst part would

be when she asked me to leave. Part of me was already relieved

because when it was over I could at least go wallow in self-pity

instead of having this all-consuming ache. The pain that ate away at

me because I knew eventually she would see me for the loser I was.

The longer it took her to reach that moment, the harder it would be

when I had to say good-bye.

I wouldn’t have to wait long. Today was judgment day.

The thought that beat against my skull, the part that made me

walk up to that door, was how much I missed her. How much I just

wanted to look at her. Be able to hear her voice. It kept me from

running the opposite direction. It had been a week since I had last

seen her. A week was forever. I had come back to say good-bye, to

tell her I was sorry. For what, I wasn’t sure. For everything. The

doorbell rang and I realized that I’d pushed the button. My heartbeat

pounded through me, suffocating me. The door opened.

Damn, she was beautiful.

Wes just stared at me, her stance both defeated and aggressive.

My hands were behind my back and I nervously tugged the sleeve

of my button-up over my cast. She looked me up and down like she

had X-ray vision or something.

“Are you okay?”

The last thing I expected to hear, but I choked out an answer

anyway. “A little beat up but—”

“Then I think I might kill you.”

• 169 •

aShley bartlett

“Can we talk?” I held my right hand up so she wouldn’t

interrupt me. “Just talk I swear. Then I’ll go if you want.”

Wordlessly, she held the door open and I entered. Wes closed

the door behind me and began to walk toward the back of the house.

Even when she was angry, maybe because she was angry, she

looked so sexy it hurt. I wanted to touch her everywhere and knew

I couldn’t. My hands started to shake so I clasped them behind my

back again.

“I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.” I launched into my

apology. “I was wrong. I didn’t mean to say what I said about you

taking Theo. I think it’s amazing that y—”

She turned on me. Definitely pissed. “Stop. Just stop talking.

You drive me fuckin’ crazy.” This was not going well. “I know you

didn’t mean that.”

“You do?”

“Yes!” She was screaming now. Not good.

“Then, um, why are you mad at me?” I almost shrugged, but

realized how much my ribs would hurt so I stopped the motion. It

was probably best not bring that up at the moment.

“Because you panicked and ran. And because you…you, oh

fuck.” She ran her hand through her hair distractedly then looked at

the ceiling as if it might decide something for her. The next instant,

she was on me. Her lips pressed into mine until it almost hurt. Her

hands were in my hair twitching and pulling.

I just let her kiss me. I was too shocked to do anything else.

Then I kissed her back the way I had been dreaming about for a

week. Her tongue searched my mouth and I responded with equal

fervor. I wanted to consume her. My good hand slipped under her

T-shirt and trailed along the soft skin of her side before I pulled the

garment over her head. She reclaimed my mouth and bit my lip

hard, sucking it into her mouth, making me groan.

I pushed her back toward the wall. With each step, I undressed

her more, reveling in the opportunity. Her shirt went first, allowing

me to suck and bite her nipples while unbuttoning her jeans. The

jeans were baggier than the ones she normally wore. Once they were

open, they dropped to the floor. I realized that she had opened my

• 170 •

Sex and SkateboardS

shirt at some point because it hung open revealing my bare chest.

She paused a split-second to stare at the bruises. I kissed her again

and she melted into me. Our chests met in a rush of warm, smooth

flesh that made my stomach twist with arousal. The shock wave

also reminded me rather painfully that I had two cracked ribs. Wes

moaned into my mouth. When my hand slid into her boxers she

pushed her hips into me, making her need known. As I cupped the

wet flesh, she whimpered.

“Please. Just take it.” So I held back. Instead, I lightly circled

her clit until she sobbed my name.

“I’ve got you, Wes. I’m right here.” My fingers were poised

just inside her cunt.

She threw her head back and whispered, “I missed you.”

I filled her, carefully at first, then with everything I had. I went

as deep as I could go. Her weight pressed down against my hand

making my muscles strain as I fucked her.

“Alden,” she cried, “I’m coming.” Her body continued to jerk

before losing all strength and collapsing forward on me. The steady,

fast beat of her heart was all I could feel. Then her skin registered

warm and smooth. I took a deep breath like I was trying to suck her

inside of me. My side exploded, the pain I’d been ignoring finally

making its way to my head.

“Oww. Oh, that hurts.” I groaned. I pulled away, careful not to

hurt her.

She lowered her arms onto my shoulders. “What? I hurt the

broken arm you weren’t going to tell me about?”

I shook my head, but that made everything swim so I just

stopped moving. I concentrated on breathing because my lungs

wouldn’t fill up.

“Cracked ribs.” I managed to gasp. The pain was making my

head spin.

“Fuck. What the hell is wrong with you?” Carefully, she

extracted herself from between me and the wall.

“How did you know my arm was broken?” I asked as I leaned

into the hard surface in front of me. The room started doing loop-de-

loops so I resigned myself to keep still.

• 171 •

aShley bartlett

“You’re not that good at subterfuge. Any other injuries I should

know about? ” She pulled up her jeans and zipped them. I tried to

be serious, but she had the most amazing tits and I couldn’t keep

from staring. At least I was able to focus on something. When I

didn’t answer, she demanded, “Alden.” It was amazing how much

she could do with two syllables.

“Concussion.”

“You want to tell me how you managed to break your ribs, arm,

and get a concussion?” Her jeans were unbuttoned and her shirt was

on the floor. There was still too much of her skin exposed for me to

think rationally.

“Not really.”

“Are you three? What the hell kind of answer is that? Are you

incapable of adult conversation?” Anger banished the concern from

her countenance.

I had a cutting sarcastic remark all worked out, but then Ollie’s

stupid voice echoed through my head along with every circular

argument I’d had with myself since leaving SF. “I’m sorry. I got in

a car accident. I should have told you before.”

“That’s what this bruise is from.” She traced a slender finger

softly down the mark on my ribs. She was barely touching me. I

tried to contain a shiver, but she felt it anyway. “Does it hurt?”

“It isn’t too bad. I just wanna hurl sometimes.”

Her eyes bored into me seeking truth or something else. “Get

dressed. I’ll make some coffee.” She turned and headed for the

kitchen leaving me trying to breathe as I sagged against the wall.

❖

Wes set two mugs on the table and sat down.

“Tell me about the accident.”

I didn’t want to, but I was there and I had nothing left. So why

not? Everyone else knew.

“Lauren found me at some shady party a couple days after I

left. You know, kegs and plastic cups. So she tells me we’re leaving

and I was pretty trashed so I followed her. This guy stopped us.

• 172 •

Sex and SkateboardS

He was acting like he wanted us to stay for the party, but he was

checking out Lauren. We got in a fight.”

“You and Lauren?”

“No, me and the guy. A fist fight.” Wes looked surprised. “Don’t

look at me like that. So Lauren like kicked him off me and we took

off.” “Is it that important for me to know about you getting in a fight

over another girl?” She was half serious. I hadn’t thought about it

like that.

“I wasn’t fighting because I was jealous. He was creepy. I was

being protective.” Wes nodded in acceptance. I launched into the

blow-by-blow of the accident, telling her how each bone got broken

and how freaked I’d been about Lauren until she woke up. Wes

nodded along like she understood. She probably did. And that was

it. That was my story. Or at least half of it.

“Can I ask one thing?” Wes cut in. I nodded. “Why did you

leave?”

“Because I panicked.” I took a deep breath, a really deep breath.

“Because I’m in love with you.” Wes froze. “But I don’t know what

you want from me.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” She sounded pissed.

“I don’t know how to be…whatever it is you want me to be.

But you should know I’m stickin’ around. I’m not leaving until you

tell me to.” I definitely wanted to hurl and it had nothing to do with

physical pain. She didn’t answer. “I don’t think I’ve given you a

whole lot of reasons to trust me, and I’m sorry about that.” Still

nothing. I stood up. At that point, I was sort of hoping for a tearful

I love you. No such luck. “Call me.” She let me walk out the door.

• 173 •

• 174 •

Sex and SkateboardS

Chapter nineteen

How’s it going?” Trevor was perched on the wooden wall

surrounding the skate park.

“I don’t know. The usual I guess.” I vaulted up to sit next to

him. It wasn’t easy to do with a cast on.

“You getting the wrath of Wes?”

“Totally. How’d you know?”

“’Cause for the last week all she’s done is surf and hide in her

darkroom. And the only person she’ll talk to is T.”

“So this is normal?”

“I guess.” He shrugged. “Last time it lasted this long was when

her parents died and she was trying to figure out what to do with Theo.”

“Fuck.” I was officially an asshole. What was I supposed to do

with that?

“Where’d he go?” Trevor asked like I knew what was going on.

“Huh?”

“The little dude.” He jumped down into the skate park.

“Theo’s here?” Where was Wes? Trevor was about to cross the

half-pipe, but he jumped back.

“Duh. You think I just like watching kids skate?” he asked like

I was stupid.

“No, I mean, where’s Wes?”

“Santa Barbara. Some gallery thing. T’s with me today.”

“Oh, got it.” Trevor raised his eyebrow and sauntered away.

When he came back, Theo was dogging his footsteps.

• 175 •

aShley bartlett

“Hey, Alden.” The kid handed me his skateboard and let Trevor

give him a boost onto the wall. “Trevor said I gotta hydrate.” He

settled his skateboard across his gigantic kneepads and unbuckled

his helmet. Curls stuck out at odd angles in between the straps.

“That’s a good idea.” Theo nodded like I was telling him the

meaning of life.

“These are itchy.” He held up his elbow pad-clad elbows. “Can

I take them off?”

“Sure, but if you skate anymore you have to put them back on.”

“I know.” He was already undoing all the Velcro straps. “Pull

this, ‘kay?” I pulled at the loosened pads until they came to his

wrists. After yanking them off he removed his helmet and stuffed

the pads inside.

“You want me to set your board and stuff over here?” I pointed

to the empty wall next to me. He nodded and handed his gear over.

Without the helmet, his sweaty hair clung to his head in parts and

half of it hung in his eyes. “Is your hair driving you crazy?”

“Yeah. It’s really long.” Thanks for pointing that one out, kiddo.

I shrugged off my backpack and pulled out a bandana. “Here.”

I offered the folded red square.

“Thanks. I can tie it.” He was pumped. “Wes showed me how

to do it. See, I got to fold it like this.” He folded it into a triangle then back on itself into a strip about two inches wide. Then he pushed

back his hair and tied the cloth around his temple. The tip of his

tongue stuck out of the corner of his mouth. His eyes were tilted

up like he could see through his skull. Finally, he turned the double

knot to the side so that it was at the right angle.

“You’re pretty good at that.” I was damn impressed. Though it

did seem weird that he couldn’t tie his shoelaces, but he could tie a

bandana.

“Thanks.” His Vans started bouncing against the wall. I

mimicked the motion. Right foot, then left, right, right, and back to

left. “Stop that.” He giggled. “I can do it ‘cuz I’m a kid.”

“Whoa. Who says I’m an adult?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged his little shoulders. “You just

are.” That was scary.

• 176 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“Heads up, dudes,” Trevor said from behind us. He handed me

a bottle of water then jumped up and sat on the other side of Theo. I

gave Theo the sweating bottle after opening it.

“Thanks.” He started giggling again when the condensation

dripped down his arms. He chugged a quarter of the bottle then

slowed. “Trev, I don’t want any more.”

“That’s cool, T.” Trevor took the bottle back.

“Can I skate more now?”

“Sure. Helmet and pads first.” Trevor knocked on Theo’s head.

“Can I still wear the bandana?” He looked at me. I nodded and

handed him his helmet. He smiled and carefully put on the helmet

over the headband.

“Hey, Trevor,” a voice from behind us called out.

Trevor turned around. “What?”

“You gotta help me.” It was a kid who worked at Cayucos Surf

Co. He got close enough so he wouldn’t have to yell. “The bank

called. There’s some problem with our deposit from earlier.”

“What’s the problem, Chris?”

“I don’t know. They’re on the phone. They want a manager and

it’s just me and Nikki right now.” The kid was stressed.

“Go ahead, Trevor. I got this.” I nodded at Theo.

“You sure?”

“Totally. I don’t have anything else going on.”

“All right, thanks. I’ll be right back.” He jumped down to the

street. “If you need me, I’ll be inside.” Cayucos Surf Co.’s backdoor

was literally twenty feet away.

“We’ll be fine.” He took off. I helped Theo put on his elbow

pads and handed him his skateboard.

“Are you gonna watch me?” It didn’t take much for Theo to

get excited.

“Of course.”

“Cool. I’m learning how to grind. Watch, ‘kay?” He waited until

there was a break in traffic on the half-pipe then skated across. There

was a low bar for grinding beyond the pipe. Theo was relentless. He

would ollie up and fall back. He was landing like he was supposed

• 177 •

aShley bartlett

to. Both feet planted on the ground. The move ensured that he could

have kids if he wanted.

“Hey, Alden.” It was Trevor. He leaned against the wall. “I

have to go up to the bank to straighten some shit out. Are you guys

still cool?”

“We’re fine.”

“Chill. It’s that bank up by the liquor store.” He pointed up the

street.

“All right. Take your time.”

“Thanks, dude.”

I looked back at Theo. When he finally managed to grind, he

still didn’t land it. He glanced back to see if I was watching. I waved

and gave him a thumbs-up. Weird. I wasn’t a thumbs-up type of

person. Satisfied, he returned to skating.

Behind him, a teenager set up his board on the quarter pipe.

The kid started down the ramp looking shaky. I got that sick, shitty

feeling when he started gaining on the little guy. Just as Theo ollied,

the older kid sideswiped him. Theo’s hand smacked the ground

followed immediately by his body.

I was already through the half-pipe when Theo landed.

Another second and I was kneeling next to him. His eyes were

big. He looked stunned, like he didn’t know what had happened. The

arm he landed on was still under him. He rolled onto his back and

looked up at me, his arm stretched out on the ground next to him.

“Theo. Hey, kiddo, look at me.” His eyes locked onto mine.

They looked clear and his pupils were normal looking. I didn’t know

what that meant, but that’s what people always check for, right?

“I fell.” Theo sounded freaked. “My arm hurts.” His wrist was

already swollen and that was not good.

“Does anything else hurt?” Wes was so going to kill me. I

broke her kid.

“Just my arm.” He tried to sit up.

“Don’t move, okay, kiddo?”

“Okay.” Then I realized that there was a small circle of skaters

around us. The one who had knocked Theo over was standing there

with his mouth open.

• 178 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“Dude, I’m sorry. Is he cool? Can I help?” he asked, panic-

stricken.

“Yeah, run over to Cayucos Surf Co. Tell Chris to get Trevor

back here now.”

“Right. Got it, dude.” The guy took off.

I returned my attention to Theo. “Can you show me where it

hurts?”

“Here.” He pointed at his wrist.

“Can you move it like this?” I held my arm up where he could

see it and moved my hand back and forth.

He tried to do the same thing. “Owww. No, that hurts.” The

muscles in his little jaw clenched.

“How about your thumb? Like this.” I rotated my thumb. When

he couldn’t do that either, I was pretty sure it was broken. I didn’t

know if I should just take him to the hospital or call an ambulance.

Where the hell was Trevor?

“I want Wes.” So far, he hadn’t cried. When he asked for Wes,

it looked like he was close.

“I know. I’m gonna call an ambulance, all right? Then I’ll call

Wes and you can talk to her.” What the hell? It was better than

taking him and finding out later something else was wrong with

him. As soon as I gave the dispatch chick our location, I hung up.

“Theo, you ever gone in an ambulance?” I tried to make it sound

exciting.

“No.”

“We’re going to. It’ll be fun. Maybe they’ll put on the lights

for you.”

“Cool.” He tried to smile. “Are you calling Wes?”

“Yep.” I hit my speed dial. “I’m dialing right now.” I got her

voicemail. “Wes, it’s Alden. Call me as soon as you get this. It’s

an emergency.” Fuck. Where was she? I snapped the phone shut.

“Theo, she didn’t answer. I left a message.”

“Oh.” There were definite tears gathering.

“Hey, don’t cry. I’m sure she’ll call back soon. You’re being

really brave.” That was what you told kids, right? I was so not

prepared for this shit.

• 179 •

aShley bartlett

“Really?” No tears yet.

“Totally.”

“Hey, Alden?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you stay with me?”

“Of course, T.”

The guy who hit Theo ran back up. “Dude. They said that

Trevor was at the bank or something.” Fucking idiots.

“Go tell Chris to come out here right now. Tell him what

happened.”

“Oh, okay.” He was confused. “Got it.” He so didn’t have it.

I kept up a steady stream of conversation with Theo until the

kid came back. That’s what my sister always did when I got hurt as

a kid.

“What’s going on?” It was Chris. “Whoa. Do you need me to

call someone?” The ambulance pulled into the parking lot. “I guess

not.”“I need you to find Trevor.”

“He’s at the bank.” Not the brightest, this one.

“I know. I need you to go get him.”

“I can’t keep leaving the shop. My boss will get mad.” I was

frustrated and this kid was seriously not helping. I took off my

backpack and pulled out a notebook and a pen. I scrawled my

number down, tore it off, and held it out to him.

“As soon as Trevor gets back have him call me.”

Chris looked skeptical. The EMTs were clearing a path through

the crowd.

“Just do it, please.” Something must have clicked because he

took the paper. “Thanks.” I returned my attention to Theo.

“What’s happening?” Theo was looking panicked again.

“These guys are going to take you to a hospital, T. You fell

pretty hard. Remember the ambulance?”

“Uh-huh.”

“They’re the drivers. They’ll take care of you. I’m going to go

with you and Wes will meet us.”

“Okay.”

• 180 •

Sex and SkateboardS

The EMTs worked fast. It didn’t take long to get Theo’s arm in

an air cast and him on a stretcher. They left his helmet on. It made

him look so small.

❖

At the hospital they told me to turn my phone off. I knew it was

a dick thing to do, but I left it on anyway. I didn’t want to miss a call

from Wes. Theo fell asleep so I just sat there and waited for someone

with a fucking clue to call me. I sure as hell didn’t have one. Wes

finally called half an hour later. By the time I got outside she had left

me a message. I called her without checking it.

“Hello.” It sounded like she was in her car.

“Hey. Thanks for calling me back.”

“What’s going on, Alden?” Uh-oh, she sounded irritated.

“Well, I saw Trevor and Theo at the skate park and so I started

hanging out with them, but there was some problem at Trevor’s

work so I told him I would watch Theo and while he was gone Theo

fell and I think he broke his wrist,” I said in a rush.

“Oh my God. Where are you now? Is Theo okay?” Her voice

was surprisingly calm.

“I’m at the hospital with Theo. He’s totally fine. He was

wearing his helmet.”

“I’m driving right now. I’ll be there in half an hour.”

“Cool. He’s asleep, but he was asking for you.” More like

begging.

“Hey, Alden?”

“What?”

“Thank you.”

❖

The sound of me pushing the curtain aside woke Theo up.

“How you doing, kiddo?”

“I don’t know. My arm still hurts.” He looked so tiny in the big

hospital bed.

• 181 •

aShley bartlett

“Hey, the doctor will probably give you a cast like this one.”

I held up my left arm. “And they’ll let you choose the color and

everything.”

“Really?” I didn’t think he was too convinced that breaking his

wrist was a good thing. Smart kid.

“Totally. And you can draw on it with markers if you want.”

“Why didn’t you draw on yours?”

“I don’t know. I’m not a great artist.” I held up the blank cast

for inspection.

“I am. Wes said I’m a good drawer.”

“You are?” He nodded. “Do you want to draw on mine?”

Anything to distract him.

“Yeah.” He tried to sit up. “Can I do it now?”

“Sure.” Theo was so damn cute it was hard not to smile. “Let

me see what colors I have.” After rummaging through my backpack,

I was able to produce three Sharpies. “I got black, red, and blue.” I

set the markers on the bed within his grasp.

“Cool.” He reached for the blue.

Soon my cast had an ocean motif going on. Red waves with

a blue surfer. There were also some fish and a big surfboard. My

arm hurt like a bitch from holding it up. Between his unsteady hand

and my shaky arm, I had accumulated a decent amount of color

on my skin in addition to the cast. The sheets of his bed were also

decorated a bit. Whatever.

He started getting tired so I packed up the markers and let him

crash. I was beat too so I leaned back in my chair and closed my

eyes. I opened them when I heard the curtain slide open.

“Hey, Wes,” I whispered.

“Hey.” She wasn’t looking at me. “How long has he been

asleep?”

“Not long.” I checked the time. “Maybe ten minutes.”

She pushed his messy curls off his forehead and kissed him. “I

should let him sleep.”

“I guess. He’s pretty tired.” I joined her next to the bed. “You

know he didn’t even cry.” She grinned wide enough for her dimple

to show.

• 182 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“Thanks for staying with him.” I realized that this was the part

where I went home. “You probably want to go don’t you?”

“I don’t know.” I shrugged. I’d been scrambling all day, but I

had no desire to leave. Him or her.

Wes just stood there staring at Theo. For the first time, our

silence wasn’t comfortable. Like a wall had been erected. I wanted to

touch her. I wanted to grab her and shake her until she said she loved

me. I just wanted. Instead, I opted for meaningless conversation.

“Did you stop at the front desk on the way in?”

“Yep, I had to show like fifteen forms of I.D. to get in.” Wes

paused. She still wasn’t looking at me. “Wait. How did you get in?”

“Oh, I’m his step-sister.” I managed to say with a straight face.

“That’s why we have different last names, but I’m family so they

had to let me in.”

“You lied?”

I couldn’t tell if she was pissed or impressed.

“I didn’t know if they would let me sit with him or not and I

didn’t want him in here alone.”

Wes finally turned away from Theo to stare at me. She brushed

her fingertips over the back of my hand.

I didn’t know what to say so I continued in my previous vein.

“I, uhh, tried to fill out the paperwork or whatever, but I didn’t know

most of the information. They’re waiting for his insurance and all

of that.”

“I guess I better go do that, huh?” I nodded. “Would you mind,

umm, never mind. You can take off if you want.”

“I’ll stay with T while you’re gone,” I said. “I mean, if that’s

all right.”

“That would be awesome.” Wes brushed her lips across my

cheek. I didn’t even see it coming. It wasn’t anything crazy, friendly

at the most. It was the best kiss I’d ever gotten. “I’ll be right back.”

When Wes returned it woke Theo up.

“Wes,” he shouted, “you’re here.” He tried to sit up again.

“Of course I am, T. How are you feeling?” She kissed his

forehead again and gently pushed him back down.

• 183 •

aShley bartlett

“Not good. I broke my wrist. See.” He pointed at the offending

arm. “But Alden said I’ll get a cast like hers and I can choose the

color.”

“I guess Alden’s pretty smart, huh?” Wes graced me with a smile.

“Yeah, and she said I can draw on it and she let me draw on

hers.”

“Really?” One of her eyebrows climbed a bit higher.

I held up my cast. “He’s a great artist.”

I joined her next to the bed and pointed out the highlights of

the mural.

“That’s awesome.” She started laughing when she saw the

color on my arm and the sheets.

Wes and I sat next to the bed. Somehow, we ended up holding

hands. Theo went on to update Wes on every detail of the day before

he fell back asleep. We were as alone as we were going to get.

“Thanks for being here for him,” Wes said.

“I was happy to do it.” There was nothing else for me to do so

I said, “I guess I’ll go now.”

“Yeah.” She wouldn’t make eye contact again. “All right. I

guess I’ll see you later.”

I wasn’t sure what that meant so I left.

❖

It got cold once the sun went down and it had been down a

while. I didn’t want to go back inside for a sweatshirt. I had the night

sky and the fragmented thoughts wandering through my head, which

was everything I needed. One thing was missing, but her absence

was becoming familiar, or at least I told myself that. Calling Ollie or

Lauren didn’t seem like it would comfort me. I didn’t want to hear

another woman’s voice. I leaned back against the slight incline of

my roof and stared at the stars. I could barely see them the moon

was so bright. The day felt like it had been a tragedy. I knew Theo

would be just fine, but all that waiting in a sterile room was killer.

Just past midnight, a car drove down the street and stopped in front

of my house. It was Wes.

• 184 •

Sex and SkateboardS

“Hey,” she called. Her body was wedged between the car and

the open door like she was afraid to get all the way out. “You feel

like going for a drive?” It was a peace offering.

“Sure, I’ll be down in a sec.” I missed her. I couldn’t help it. I

knew I’d feel better, calmer, if I could just be next to her.

When I closed the front door behind me, Wes already had the

engine running. I pulled my sweatshirt over my head then slid into

the passenger seat.

We didn’t say anything once Wes started driving. It didn’t take

long for me to figure out where we were going, her secluded little

beach. The moon hung low and heavy on the horizon to the east. It

was full and white and took up half the sky.

When we parked, Wes grabbed a bottle of wine from behind

her seat and led me down the path to the water. It was so damn dark

in the trees I don’t know how she got us through them. We ended

up on the sliver of beach in a wash of silver-blue moonlight. We

sat in the sand and opened the bottle of wine with a pocketknife.

Wes took a swig then handed me the bottle. It made me feel like a

teenager sitting there in the sand passing back and forth a bottle of

surprisingly good wine. Her breathing was light and I would have

thought she had fallen asleep if not for her periodically taking the

wine and drinking.

“I’m in love with you, you know?” Her tone was so flippant

that she could have been discussing the weather.

“So you’ve said, Wes.” I tried to match her tone. It didn’t work.

It just came out sad.

“I’ve been trying to figure out a way to tell you all week.” She

looked at me, drank some wine, looked at the sky. “I don’t need you

to change. And I don’t want you to leave. But I couldn’t think of a

way to make you believe me. I’ve been kind of a bitch.”

I wasn’t sure what the deal was with her little monologue. I

thought I was the bitch.

“I thought about getting a tattoo,” she added conversationally.

“But I didn’t think you would appreciate that.”

We stared at the ocean. Even though the view was amazing, the

image fell flat for me. I drank some wine and prayed for warmth.

• 185 •

aShley bartlett

“So I had this made this morning.” Wes pulled a key out of

her pocket. “I wasn’t sure about it. Would it be fair to T? He’s been

through a lot.” She started flipping the key between her fingers. Was

she saying what I thought she was saying? “But when I got him

home from the hospital tonight I noticed something.” She looked

directly at me. “His cast was green. His favorite color is red. But he

chose green.”

Hey, my cast was green.

Oh. My cast was green. I’m slow. I felt the grin spread across

my face and I could hear her smiling too. Yes, I could hear when

she smiled.

“Still, I mean, who wants to come home to a kid everyday? I

guess that’s up to you.” She tossed me the key. “I want you here,

with me. If you’ll stay.” That should have been the moment where

I ran. Flat out. Instead, I collapsed against the sand behind me. I

didn’t realize I had been leaning forward, leaning into her words

like air.

“Okay,” I said without looking at her. I was clenching the key

so hard I was sure I’d broken skin.

Wes moved into my sightline. “Does that mean you’ll come

home with me?” she asked as her face descended to mine.

“How can I say no to such an original offer?” The smile

implanted on my face grew. I couldn’t stop it.

“You are such an ass,” she said, but she was grinning too.

“Whatever. You like it.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Wes ordered. So I kissed her.

• 186 •

About the Author

Ashley Bartlett was born and raised in California. She is a student

from Sacramento and her life consists of reading, writing, and

studying. Most of the time, Ashley engages in these pursuits while

sitting in front of a coffee shop with her girlfriend and smoking

cigarettes. It’s a glamorous life. She is an obnoxious, sarcastic,

punk-ass, all of which is reflected in her writing. She currently lives

in Long Beach. Ashley was first published in Erotic Interludes 3—

Lessons in Love and is currently working on her next novel Dirty Sex. You can find her at ashbartlett.com.

Books Available From Bold Strokes Books

Waiting in the Wings by Melissa Brayden. Jenna has spent her

whole life training for the stage, but the one thing she didn’t prepare

for was Adrienne. Is she ready to sacrifice what she’s worked so

hard for in exchange for a shot at something much deeper? (978-1-

60282-561-1)

Sex and Skateboards by Ashley Bartlett. Sex and skateboards and

surfing on the California coast. What more could anyone want?

Alden McKenna thinks that’s all she needs, until she meets Weston

Duvall. (978-1-60282-562-8)

Pirate’s Fortune by Gun Brooke. Book Four in the Supreme

Constellations series. Set against the backdrop of war, captured

mercenary Weiss Kyakh is persuaded to work undercover with bio-

android Madisyn Pimm, which foils her plans to escape, but kindles

unexpected love. (978-1-60282-563-5)

Suite Nineteen by Mel Bossa. Psychic Ben Lebeau moves into

Shilts Manor where he meets seductive Lennox Van Kemp and his

clan of Métis—guardians of a spiritual conspiracy dating back to

Christ. But are Ben’s psychic abilities strong enough to save him?

(978-1-60282-564-2)

Wings: Subversive Gay Angel Erotica edited by Todd Gregory. A

collection of powerfully written tales of passion and desire centered

on the aching beauty of angels. (978-1-60282-565-9)

Speaking Out: LGBTQ Youth Stand Up edited by Steve Berman.

Inspiring stories written for and about LGBT and Q teens of

overcoming adversity (against intolerance and homophobia) and

experiencing life after coming out. (978-1-60282-566-6)

Forbidden Passions by MJ Williamz. Passion burns hotter when it’s

forbidden and the fire between Katie Prentiss and Corrine Staples in

antebellum Louisiana is raging out of control. (978-1-60282-641-0)

Harmony by Karis Walsh. When Brook Stanton meets a

beautiful musician who threatens the security of her conventional,

predetermined future, will she take a chance on finding the harmony

only love creates? (978-1-60282-237-5)

nightrise by Nell Stark and Trinity Tam. In the third book in the

everafter series, when Valentine Darrow loses her soul, Alexa must

cross continents to find a way to save her. (978-1-60282-238-2)

Men of the Mean Streets: Gay Noir edited by Greg Herren and

J.M. Redmann. Dark tales of amorality and criminality by some of

the top authors of gay mysteries. (978-1-60282-240-5)

Women of the Mean Streets: Lesbian Noir edited by J.M. Redmann

and Greg Herren. Murder, mayhem, sex, and danger—these are the

stories of the women who dare to tackle the mean streets. (978-1-

60282-241-2)

Cool Side of the Pillow by Gill McKnight. Bebe Franklin falls for

funeral director Clara Dearheart, but how can she compete with the

ghost of Clara’s lover—and a love that transcends death and knows

no rest? (978-1-60282-633-5)

Firestorm by Radclyffe. Firefighter paramedic Mallory “Ice” James

isn’t happy when the undisciplined Jac Russo joins her command,

but lust isn’t something either can control—and they soon discover

ice burns as fiercely as flame. (978-1-60282-232-0)

The Best Defense by Carsen Taite. When socialite Aimee Howard

hires former homicide detective Skye Keaton to find her missing

niece, she vows not to mix business with pleasure, but she soon

finds Skye hard to resist. (978-1-60282-233-7)

After the Fall by Robin Summers. When the plague destroys most

of humanity, Taylor Stone thinks there’s nothing left to live for, until

she meets Kate, a woman who makes her realize love is still alive

and makes her dream of a future she thought was no longer possible.

(978-1-60282-234-4)

Accidents Never Happen by David-Matthew Barnes. From the

moment Albert and Joey meet by chance beneath a train track on

a street in Chicago, a domino effect is triggered, setting off a chain

reaction of murder and tragedy. (978-1-60282-235-1)

In Plain View by Shane Allison. Best-selling gay erotica authors

create the stories of sex and desire modern readers crave. (978-1-

60282-236-8)

Wild by Meghan O’Brien. Shapeshifter Selene Rhodes dreads the

full moon and the loss of control it brings, but when she rescues

forensic pathologist Eve Thomas from a vicious attack by a masked

man, she discovers she isn’t the scariest monster in San Francisco.

(978-1-60282-227-6)

Reluctant Hope by Erin Dutton. Cancer survivor Addison Hunt

knows she can’t offer any guarantees, in love or in life, and after

experiencing a loss of her own, Brooke Donahue isn’t willing to risk

her heart. (978-1-60282-228-3)

Conquest by Ronica Black. When Mary Brunelle stumbles into the

arms of Jude Jaeger, a gorgeous dominatrix at a private nightclub,

she is smitten, but she soon finds out Jude is her professor, and Professor Jaeger doesn’t date her students…or her conquests. (978-1-60282-229-0)

The Affair of the Porcelain Dog by Jess Faraday. What darkness

stalks the London streets at night? Ira Adler, present plaything of

crime lord Cain Goddard, will soon find out. (978-1-60282-230-6)

365 Days by K.E. Payne. Life sucks when you’re seventeen

years old and confused about your sexuality, and the girl of your

dreams doesn’t even know you exist. Then in walks sexy new emo

girl, Hannah Harrison. Clemmie Atkins has exactly 365 days to

discover herself, and she’s going to have a blast doing it! (978-1-

60282-540-6)

Darkness Embraced by Winter Pennington. Surrounded by harsh

vampire politics and secret ambitions, Epiphany learns that an old

enemy is plotting treason against the woman she once loved, and to

save all she holds dear, she must embrace and form an alliance with

the dark. (978-1-60282-221-4)

78 Keys by Kristin Marra. When the cosmic powers choose Devorah

Rosten to be their next gladiator, she must use her unique skills to

try to save her lover, herself, and even humankind. (978-1-60282-

222-1)

Playing Passion’s Game by Lesley Davis. Trent Williams’s only

passion in life is gaming—until Juliet Sullivan makes her realize

that love can be a whole different game to play. (978-1-60282-

223-8)