Anticipation

Lissa Norman and Julie Whitney have the same first love: basketball. Together, they might be each other's second love… if politics don't get in between them. As an assistant coach, Lissa knows she should leave the freshman guard alone. But there's something about Whit that catches her eye. When they realize there's an attraction, will they give it a chance, or sacrifice it for their first love?

Chapter 1

Monday, September 13

Jayd Clarke stands upright and watches the basketbal player sauntering through the door.

She mutters to no one in particular, "Damn."

Lissa's head jerks up, "What?"

The girl points with her chin, "Who's that?"

Glancing over her shoulder, Lissa doesn't recognize the girl right off, "I honestly don't know right off the top of my head." Facing Jayd again, "But I can tell you that she's too old for you. She's probably eighteen and you're sixteen." She stops the girl before she can protest,

"I know it's only two years, but to a col ege kid, that's a decade or more. Don't get your heart set on getting that close to a chick on this team."

The teenager huffs and her gaze falls to the floor, "I just wanted to know her name."

Lissa makes note of the player's height and physical features. At least six feet tal , she has long brown hair, a swagger as noticeable as her broad smile, toned and tanned arms, and strong legs. She wears her basebal cap backwards, a tank top over a sports bra, and basketball shorts. I bet she's got some socks and shoes in that bag because she won't be playing in those sandals. By process of elimination, she conjures a name, "I think that's Julie Whitney, the new point guard. She's a freshman from Texas."

"Isn't she too tall to be a point guard?"

"No." Since Jayd took this internship to learn, Lissa feels she should teach whatever and whenever she can, "Yes, typically point guards are shorter than that. But real y, it all depends on their ability to lead a team and to see what's happening on the floor. Being able to read people is more important than a player's height." Water begins dripping on Lissa's shoes, but she laughs when she gasps, "Jayd! Come on, pay attention!"

"Oh God, I'm sorry Coach!"

The assistant watches for a moment as the team assembles on the bleachers, noticing how individual they are. From their height to their race, they are a conglomeration of backgrounds, abilities, strengths, and weaknesses. But she knows they're different in other ways. Their thoughts, feelings, dreams, and contributions are just as varied as their hair styles, clothing choices, and voices. But there is one thing every player is here for: to win.

The illusive NCAA championship is their common goal, their joint task. And as she analyzes faces and bodies on the bleachers, she's certain that if anyone in the country has a chance at a ring this year, it's the team she's been given the privilege to help coach.

She turns back to Jayd, "Alright, we need to put out the towels and fill the water bottles.

When they throw them down, and they will throw them down, they won't hand them back to you; you pick them up and just drape them over the chair. Most of them will say 'Please' and

'Thank you', but don't be surprised if they don't… especially during games. But remember what I told you? This is a thankless job and there aren't a lot of perks. And I know you love women's basketball just as much as I do, and I know you're going to love being a part of the team. I just hope you remember that there are no small roles on this team, only small players.

And let me tell you, I appreciate you, I swear I do." She recognizes the instant look of fear because it mirrors her own, "I know you're nervous, this being your first day and all, but you'll be fine."

Someone interrupts by calling her name. She waves a hand at Coach Allen before turning back to Jayd, "Alright, I'm up." She smiles and gently touches Jayd's arm, "I'll introduce you to the players individually later. I have to learn them all first!"

Jayd nods with a nervous smile, "No problem. Good luck!"

She mumbles to herself as she walks away, "Luck has nothing to do with it!"

Lissa Norman is in her first year as assistant coach of the Whalen University Women's Basketball team. At the age of twenty-seven, she knows she's blessed to have this opportunity. She paid her dues by working as a program coordinator for her alma mater, Carmen High School, in Alabama. Then she spent another three years in Tennessee. She's come a long way, but knows that you never stop learning. That's why she's looking forward to learning everything Coach Allen has to teach her.

Whalen University has been to the Division 1 NCAA Tournament eight years in a row under Coach Taylor Allen's direction. He's been with the school for nine years and feels that this is the best team he's had since he took over the job. They've just never been able to get to the Final Four. As Lissa approaches the team on the bench, she hopes that this year is different.

Coach Al en puts his hand on the woman's shoulder, "This is Lissa Norman, ladies. Very few of you were able to meet her before today. She's our newest assistant coach and she's here to foster team unity and all of the girly, touchy-feely things I know nothing about." Ignoring the chuckles he smiles at Lissa, "She's a great person to know and I'm as delighted as I can be that she agreed to work with me. I think she's crazy, but I'm glad. Now, she's going to go through a few things with you and then we'l get started on the hard part!"

The team groans and Lissa allows them to wallow a few moments in exaggerated dread before addressing them, "Well first of all, let me just say that I'm thrilled to be here and to have the chance to work with each of you. I think it's going to be a great season and I'm looking forward to it. I'm here to make sure everything runs smoothly for you and please don't hesitate to come to me if you need something."

She opens her notebook and checks the roster, "Alright, because I didn't get to meet all of you before today, I'd like to run down the roster and put a face to these names I've been staring at, okay?"

Thank goodness they're being cooperative. I've been typing and retyping this list for months!

Now I get faces, too! Putting a face with the name is the best way for her to learn. For her, they're not just basketball players. They're not just college students. They're young women who have no clue what they're doing. And although she doesn't think she's qualified to do so, she's the one they're supposed to come to when they need help figuring out life. Starting at the top of the roster, she calls out the first name, “Gayle Andrews?”

Gayle raises her hand, “That"s me.”

Lissa looks up and smiles, “Hello, Gayle. It"s nice to meet you.”

“You too,” the girl beams.

She reads the names off one by one: Cindy Atkins, Jackie Baits, Beth Eddy, Mandy Halpen, Jenny Moers, Stephanie Moody, Laura Moran, Linda Nyers, Gretchen Paine, Tammy Sherman, and Jana Temple.

Finally she recognizes a name off the list, "Well look at this! Dana Tess! You're a freshman just out of Nelson High School."

"How did you know?" The girl acts surprised and giggles.

"Oh, I don't know," she plays along, "I'm sure it's not because I coached you for three years."

"Nah," Dana waves her hand, "You're probably just psychic." She laughs with the other girls and that brings Lissa to the last name on the roster.

"Julie Whitney?"

Julie stands abruptly on the bottom bleacher and salutes, "Julie Whitney, six foot-one freshman guard from Planco, Texas, reporting for duty, ma'am."

I knew it was her. She's so commanding with that tal , lanky frame. But she's got muscles, too. When the older woman looks up, she notices that the girl's at least a half a foot taller than her own 5'7" frame. But her breath catches when she looks into Julie's eyes. Oh hel , she's got blue eyes. The kind of blue you see on postcards. Lissa blinks several times to jump start her frozen brain, "Do people call you Julie, Jules, or something else?"

"They call me Whit, usually." Her eyes twinkle and there's a slight tremor in her eyebrows when she murmurs, "But you can cal me whatever you want."Like baby, honey, sweetheart, fuck buddy..ya know. .pick one.

"Is that a privilege you give everyone or just me?" She smiles and the girl just winks back.

She's going to be a handful."Thank you for being so enthusiastic, Whit. I appreciate that in a player."

Julie relaxes and sits back down. Ah.. she thinks she can outwit me. We'l see. She looks at Lissa's hand and notices there is no ring, "So when do we get to find out about you?"

Having been caught off guard, she stutters, "Um, I. .what do you want to know?"

Julie looks up at challengingly, "You know… the basics. For instance, are you married?"

She grins, "No."

"Got a boyfriend?"

"No," she replies, clutching the roster to her chest.

Julie nods, "Alright, good."

"And you?"

Julie's eyes widen, "Me? What about me?"

"Are you married or have a boyfriend?"And we have squirming, ladies and gentlemen.

"Uh, no, ma'am, I don't have a husband or a boyfriend."

Jackie Baits, obviously Julie's new best buddy, elbows her in the side, "And why not, Whit?"

Julie gives Jackie dagger eyes, wrapped in a smile.I'm going to kill you.A voice comes from behind the two girls, "Coach, she's not exactly dating material." Jenny Moers, a sophomore from a local high school, shoots the evil eye at the back of Julie's head.

When Lissa looks back into those blue eyes, there's anger simmering there. Searching for a way to diffuse the tension, the coach smiles at Jenny, "Well, I don't think that's true." She looks over Julie's body appreciatively, "She looks plenty healthy and fine to me. Any guy should be honored to have her on his arm. And I'm not dating material, either. I'm forever material. Not really the love 'em and leave 'em type."

Jenny scoffs, "Well, Whit has no problem just up and leaving people. See, I think Whit's--"

I will tear your fucking head off! Julie whirls around on the bleachers and growls, the venom in her voice tangible to everyone within earshot, "Just leave me alone, Jenny. No one gives a damn what you think, least of all me."

"Whoa," Lissa puts her hands up, halting further comments. "You all have been together most of the summer, so you've got a head start on knowing each other and I'm the clueless one here. Apparently there's something going on here that I'm not clued in on. So why don't we just drop this for now, hmm?"

The rest of the team nods as Julie turns to face forward again, resting her elbows on her knees and not looking up. Lissa hands out a packet of information to each girl, leaving Julie for last. When she holds the packet out to Julie, she doesn't let go when the girl tries to take it. Julie looks up at her questioningly. She winks at her and Julie smiles a quick smile back, "You'll have plenty of time to get to know more than you'll ever want to know about me.

But Coach Al en didn't give me a whole lot of time with you today, so let's continue, shall we?

This is a packet of information. It's short, sweet, and to some people, it's funny. I want you to take it and read it. You'll notice that there seems to be a lot of rules in here. That's intentional. Every rule in here is a rule of mine. These are not necessarily the rules of the school, the staff, or the university. These are my rules. I'm like the den mother and yes, these are rules you must abide by if you plan on staying on this team."

As the girls flip quickly through the pages, they begin to whisper. The woman ignores them for the moment, "You'll find curfew rules, clothing rules, eating and sleeping rules, and all kinds of other things." The mumbling is now a full-fledged conversation and Lissa turns, "Is there something wrong, Steph?"

Stephanie blushes, "Well, um, I haven't really had time to look at it, but it seems you left one very important rule out."

"I did?"

"Yeah," Mandy pipes up, "you don't have a rule about lesbians."

Lissa stops flipping in her copy, "What are you talking about?"

Having memorized the terminology well, Gayle speaks, "There will be no homosexual activity of any kind between members of the team."

She doesn't hide her shock, "That's a rule?"

Mandy nods, "It used to be. It wasn't a university rule, either, but Coach P adopted that philosophy. You left it out."

This ain't Penn State."I didn't leave it out. And in case you haven't noticed, I'm not Coach P."

Her jaw clenches through the smile, "I have a policy that I adhere to very strictly: If it affects your play, it's out. Until then, it's your life. So until your.. uh.. 'homosexual activity'

affects your playing on this team, I don't care where or who or how much. If you're old enough to do it, you're old enough to choose who to do it with. I just ask you to act responsibly and be safe, no matter what gender you prefer to date. That's all I expect from you, but I won't take anything less. And if someone has a problem with lesbians, they need to come to me and we'll find a university who will accept their transfer request. Understood?"

Mandy points at Lissa with a huge grin on her face, "You rock!"

The rest of the team voices their appreciation as well and Lissa revels in it for only a moment, "Indeed, I do." She smiles a big smile, "Thank you. I'm sure this topic will come up again, and we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I want to make it clear that if any of you need to talk to me about anything, I'm here for you." This is the part of the speech she rehearsed a thousand times, "I'm your best friend when your world's falling apart and you just got dumped. I'm your mom when you're sick and need someone to rub Vick's on your nose. I'm your sister when you need someone to gossip with. And I'm your grandma when you need advice. I'm here for you, each and every one of you. Every week we're going to have a date, and we're the only ones invited. We might go for pizza, eat at my place, go to a movie, or we might have a night where we all go to the library and you study for finals. But I expect every single one of you to be there."

Jana's hand shoots up, "Uh, where do you live?"

"On the back page of your packet is my contact information. You've got every phone number I have, my home address, my office address, and my email. There is no excuse for not getting in touch with me, okay?"

Mandy gasps, "Oh man, you live in a swanky neighborhood!"

"I do?" Having moved to town a mere four weeks ago, she's unaware of the "good" and "bad"

sections of town.

"Yeah, those apartments are the best. Do you have a city view?"

"No, actually, I face the ocean." She was willing to pay the extra money per month for a view of the ocean. What could be better for morning yoga? Or, in her case, for when you're scrambling to find a clean polo shirt for work.

Mandy ribs her a little, "So that means that when we need a place to party, your door is always open, right?"

"Only if you get lucky and I give you a key," she says sweetly.

"And what could we do to earn a key?" Julie, having been silent for too long, asks with a wry smile.

To her credit, she tenses only slightly, "Hmm, you just do everything I tell you to and we'll work on the reward system later, okay, Whit?"

Oohh, man! She's quick! Julie nods, smiling, and looks back down at the packet in her hands,

"Bring it on, coach."

Lissa doesn't miss that remark; she just chooses to ignore it for now. With a clap of her hands, she dismisses them, "All right, you're free. Julie, can I see you a second, though?"

Jackie grabs her gym bag to leave. She pats Julie on the head, "It's alright, frosh, I'm sure she'll be gentle." She grins when she adds, "Unless, of course, you like it rough." She winks at her new best friend and trots away.

Julie shoots the girl a nasty look as she stands to address the coach, "Yes, ma'am?"

Lowering her voice and stepping up to the girl, she offers her ear, "I just want to tell you that if you need anything, don't think twice about coming to me." She throws a look over her shoulder at Jenny, "I don't know what that's all about, but if it gets to be too much, tell me, okay?"

Julie gives her a lop-sided grin, "I can handle her, coach." She leans down, her face only a couple of inches from Lissa's, "But if it makes you feel better, I agree to come to you if she needs punishment other than the cold shoulder or her ass kicked." She winks and adds, "But thanks for the concern, and, of course, for the other."

Confused, she asks, "For what other?"

"For letting us make our own choices and treating us like adults instead of super-tall children." She begins walking away, brushing her shoulder against Lissa as she passes. Then she stops and turns around to add, "And Coach?"

Smirking, Lissa turns, "Yeah?"

"If you're a forever type, is that what you're looking for, another forever type?"

"Yeah. That would be ideal." Testing the girl's bravado she asks, "Got anyone in mind you'd like to hook me up with?"

Hel yeah I got someone in mind. But I'm gonna take my time with you. Julie raises an eyebrow and slowly begins to back away, "I'll keep my eyes open for ya." She turns and struts to the bench.

Oh lord, I'm gonna have my work cut out for me with that one. Lissa shakes her head and mumbles to herself, "Those blue eyes are going to kill me."

Chapter 2

Friday, September 17

Jana closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath, "Oh God, I could get used to this."

Jackie props her legs up on the balcony railing, slides down in her chair, and lays her head back, "Me too. Coach Norman is one lucky woman, huh?"

Jana turns to lean against the railing facing Jackie, "Yeah, she sure is." Her face lights up a little as she watches through the sliding glass door of Lissa's apartment, "Don't look now, but Mandy just let Julie in."

Jackie doesn't move, "I can't believe I beat her. Hell, I thought she'd be the first one at the door!"

Dana giggles from her spot on the lounger, "Don't tell her, but I saw her make at least twenty trips around the parking lot!"

The girls share a laugh, but stop abruptly when Julie's face pokes around the edge of the sliding glass door, "What's up, y'all?" She greets each girl with a nod, "Wow," she breathes, "look at that view!"

Jackie smirks and closes her eyes, "You like that view? You should see coach."

Though her interest is piqued she tries to act casual, "Why?"Oh God, please don't let her be wearing a bikini.

"Whew, damn, Whit." Jana fans her face dramatical y, "She's in a tank top and denim cut-offs. Can you say 'legs for miles'?"

Without thinking, Julie puts a hand over her chest, "Really? She's not wearing one of those stuffy polo shirts?"

Jackie shakes her head, "Nope. She doesn't even have makeup on."

"And her hair is in a ponytail," Dana chimes in. "She's really very pretty when she's not playing the role of coach. You should see her all dressed up."

"You mean she's pretty hot!" Jackie laughs.

Julie smiles at Jackie's joke and stares out at the ocean view, "I don't know if the woman could look any other way."

Smiling, Jackie speaks up after a moment of silence, "Me either, Whit." They let the conversation drop, allowing Julie time to slow her pulse and prepare for the night ahead.

Moments pass before Lissa pokes her head through the door, "Come on, ladies, let's gather in here and get this thing off the ground." Julie spins around and faces the woman, causing Lissa to smile in return, "Hi, Whit! It's about time you got here!"

Jackie whispers to Julie, "See? I told you she's hot."

Julie raises her eyebrows, "Yeah, she is."

Leaning closer, "You should go after her. I can tell you want her."

Julie tries to fake surprise, "What?" She shakes her head and turns away, "You're crazy."

Jackie smirks, "Right. That must be it. ClearlyI'mcompletely unbalanced." She rolls her eyes and drops the topic.

Once everyone is seated around her living room, Lissa takes her place before them,

"Welcome to my humble little home." She looks around the sparsely decorated apartment, "I know it's not much, but it's mine. At least it is for this month! This is not going to be a formal thing. We're not even going to talk about basketball while we're here… not in detail, at least. This is just a night to hang out, laugh, talk, play around, listen to some music, and breathe. No pressure, no coaches… well, at least, no coaching. We're just a bunch of chicks chillin'. So ask questions, open up, don't be shy, and please,please, I beg of you, eat all the chocolate before I get my hands on it! Now," she takes a seat on the floor and notices that Julie's feet are mere inches from her own, "let me tell you as much about myself as I can, and if I don't answer your question, you can ask when I'm done."

Jackie smiles, "Start with the vitals, coach."

"Call me Lissa for tonight, ok?" She gives the girl a beaming smile and begins to rattle off random information about herself, "I'm from Carmen, Alabama. It's on the east border of the state, right next to Georgia. I'd say it's a four or five hour drive from here. If I'm driving, it's four. If my mom's driving, it's five, but who doesn't drive faster than their mom, right?"Good, laughing is good, "I'm twenty-seven and the younger of two girls. My parents are still married and currently have only a cat living with them. My sister, Sherry, is married and lives in Atlanta with her husband and kids. She's three years older than I am, but you wouldn't know it by some of the choices she makes!"This is easier than I thought,

"After I graduated from college I got a job working for my old high school. I was there a year before I got offered a position in Tennessee at Nelson High School." She points to Dana, "That's how I know Miss Dana, here. She was a sophomore when I got there and, well,"

she manages a bit of drama, "I was justsoattached to her that I couldn't bear the thought of her leaving me behind! So I followed her, stalker style, from high school to col ege."

Everyone is laughing, and she likes knowing she's keeping them happy. She winks at Dana, who blushes bright red, "I'm kidding, of course. I got offered this job and since it was a step up, I took it. Having the ocean in my back yard doesn't hurt, either. I'm single, no kids or pets, though I might like to have at least one of each someday. I live alone obviously, and I can make a mean peanut butter and jelly sandwich. You'll taste my spaghetti soon."What else, what else?"Um, this is my natural hair color, I detest working out, and I wear glasses when I read, although I hate them. I love chocolate and potato chips, though, not together. My favorite drink is Pepsi. I had a four point GPA in college and a three point eight in high school. Trig kicked my butt, ya know? Let's see, I don't drink alcohol often, I don't smoke, but I have been known to drop an 'F bomb' or two… or three." Realizing she's lying through her teeth, she laughs, "Who am I kidding? I have a potty mouth when I'm not minding my manners! Anything else y'all want to know?"

"You're a good looking woman, coach. I mean, damn, you're hot!" Jackie points out,

"Why do you live alone? I mean, you must get offers left and right!"

"Oh goodness, Jackie!" Lissa blushes and laughs in spite of herself, "I don't know.

Just…," her throat tightens and she can't continue. Once she swallows, she tries again, "I have bad luck, I guess."

"Further proof that men are stupid," Jackie shakes her head in disbelief, "just damned stupid."

"Well, thank you, Jackie, but it's really more of a personal choice. I'd rather be alone right now than in a relationship with someone I don't love."

"You ever tried women?" Jackie counters, gauging her reaction.

A loud, nervous laugh erupts from nowhere in Lissa's body and then she covers her mouth to hide the smile, "I," not quite sure how to respond, she goes a different route. "Is that something you think I should give some thought to, Jackie?"

Jackie nudges Julie, who speaks up, "Oh, yeah, definitely, coach." She studies the woman's face for a reaction, "If you want, we could hook you up with someone who would be more than willing to devote every hour of the day to coaching you in that arena." Pick me! Pick me!

"Really?" She cocks her head to the side, wanting to see how far Julie will go with this angle, "And what makes you think I'd need to be taught how to please a woman?"

Only slightly caught off guard by the response, Julie counters, "I'm not saying that you do. I'm just saying that if you're open to it, there are people who would…" Julie pauses,

"justloveto show you all the benefits of being with the softer sex."

The group is peppered with soft laughter, but she will not be made a fool of in her own house, "Well thank you, Whit, but I know plenty about how to please a woman. And, just so you know, it would take more than just a phone call to find a woman in this town who could take me on and have the strength to talk about it after. I'm a coach, remember? No one has to teach me a thing, but there's plenty I could teach someone else, sweetheart. Evenyou."

Julie's mouth, gaping from shock, moves but makes no sound.

Her response makes Jackie laugh loudly, "Damn! Whit, she just handed you your own ass!! Would you like a bag with that?"

Julie doesn't utter a sound. Lissa's a little afraid the girl might have lost her vocal chords with that hard gulp. She continues and gives her a moment to compose herself, "Any other questions?"

Like nails on a chalkboard, Jenny pipes up, "Well that's all very interesting, but could we please change the subject? Have you ever played basketbal ?"

Before Lissa can respond, Dana answers, "Yes!" She jumps up and grabs a book off the bookshelf, "And I can prove it!"

"Oh God, we don't have to go there, do we?"I knew she'd get me back for the stalker thing.

Julie, very interested at this new information, insists, "Yes, we do. What's that, Dana?"

"This," Dana says, holding up the book, "is coach's junior yearbook from high school."

She shoots a sweet smile at Lissa. Softly she coos, "You see, ladies, our Coach Norman was an all-star point guard in high school. For four yearsstraightshe held the assist record in Alabama." Her voice falters just a bit, "But in her junior year she suffered a leg injury that ended her career."

Everyone turns to look at their new coach. Her downcast eyes give her emotions away,

"Acute ACL injury."

"But she left her mark, that's for sure. Her sophomore year was her best year and she still holds the assist record in Alabama," she beams, "foranygender of basketball player in high schoolorcollege!" She flips through the pages and finds the picture she's looking for,

"This is her!"

Everyone except Julie gathers excitedly to look at the picture. Instead, she turns to Lissa, "You didn't play as a senior?"

Memories flood her brain like a tidal wave, "Nope."

Confused, Julie asks, "But then, how did you play for four years?"

Dana speaks up again, "She was a starter on the varsity team in the eighth grade!"

Julie's eyes widen, "Damn!"

"Holy shit!" Jackie exclaims, "You started in theeighthgrade?"

“Yes," she nods sadly, the memories still hurt, "I did. And when I got hurt, they kept me on the team for moral support. I was heavily recruited by Alabama, Tennessee, Connecticut, and others, but the doctors told me that if I even tried doing more than my rehab, I'd screw my knee up so badly I might not be able to walk, much less play bal ." Biting her lip she takes a deep breath, "So I quit ball for good. I decided that if I couldn't play, I'd coach." Shaking the emotion off and spreading her arms, "And so y'all have me now!"

Julie motions for the book and when she looks at the picture, she smiles, "You look pretty good on the court."You'd look better naked and off it, though.She looks up, "Can you play at all?"

"Yeah, once in a while I'll get on the court and do a little one on one play with a few friends of mine."

Like a freight train you can't slow down, Dana breaks in again, "Coach knows a lot of WNBA players. I've seen her kick the asses of somemajorstars! She's friends with a bunch of people whose names you'll recognize."

Excitedly Jackie asks, "Who?"

Dana runs off a list, "Yolanda Yarburough, Gail Weatherly, and Haddey Ozment to name a few. But the absolute biggest name she knows is her second best friend," she pauses for dramatic effect, "Deedra Tatum."

Jackie, flabbergasted, turns to Lissa excitedly, "You know Deedra Tatum?"

She laughs.Oh, if you only knew how wel I know Deedra,"Yes. I know Deedra from a long way back. We went to clinics together as kids. And through the years we kept running across each other. Then, the summer before I got hurt, we became the best of friends.

We've stayed in touch all through her college career."And we touched al through col ege, too.

"She's got her cell number in her phone and she had pictures of them all over the place in her other apartment in Tennessee." Dana turns to Lissa now, "Where are those pictures, anyway?"

"I haven't had time to put them up. Plus, I don't have a ladder. Maybe I could recruit a couple of you tall ladies to help me hang them later?"

Dana scoffs, "Coach, you know all you need to do is ask." She's a good recruiter,

"Tammy and I will do them."

"Thanks, ladies. That would be wonderful."It'l be good to have those pictures up again.She's been feeling a little homesick without them. The place doesn't feel like it's hers.

Julie shakes her head and sounds almost hurt, "You played ball and you didn't tell us?"

"Whit, I didn't think it mattered, honestly." She reaches out and puts a hand on the girl's foot, "I mean, you don't have to play the game to understand it. Oh, I admit, it helps tremendously if you've played, but it's not necessary."

"But you were so good!" Julie leans forward, "You could help me a lot, I bet."

"Oh no," Lissa shakes her head fervently; "I'm going to leave that up to our offense coach. I think Coach Gunn's doing a fantastic job."

"But you could give me pointers as a woman who's played. He's a man and has only played against men. He doesn't know how it feels to be a woman playing against women. You do."

When the woman looks into Julie's eyes, she can't help seeing a little bit of herself there…the "old" Lissa from high school, the kid begging for a chance to play. Truthfully, she hasn't played in years and wished to God she'd never have to play again. The fear of failure and further injury is overwhelming, but she knows already that if Julie Whitney asks her to do it, she will, "Look, if at any time you think you need help, you can certainly come and ask me. I'll do what I can, okay?"

Julie, satisfied, nods and lays the open book in her lap, "Cool."

"So where did you go to high school? And where did you end up going to college?" Jana asks.

"I went to high school in my hometown, at Carmen High School. I went to the University of Alabama on an academic scholarship. So I'm a Tide fan through and through."

Beth perks up, "Rol Tide!"

She laughs, "Damn right! You must be from Alabama, too?"

"You got that right!" Beth beams, "Born and raised in Wetumpka."

"Right on!"

Tentatively Mandy raises her hand, "Coach?"

"Yes?"

"Do you plan on sticking around here a while? Or is this just a stepping stone to something bigger?"

"I'm going to be here for as long as they'll have me, honey." Eager to get out of the spotlight, she switches up the conversation, "Okay, you'll have plenty of time to learn about me. Now I want to know about each of you. Just start when you're ready. Give the vitals and anything else you want us to know."

Everyone looks expectantly at Dana, who's closest to Lissa, and the girl blushes, "Oh, boy, on the spot first thing, huh?" She wiggles in her seat and clears her throat, "Well, I'm Dana Tess and I'm from Tennessee. I'm one of three kids. I have a brother and sister. My brother's name is Brian, he's eight. My sister is actual y my twin and her name is Dena."

Jackie groans, "Oh God!" She falls over onto Julie with a melodramatic sigh, "There's two of them!"

"Shut up!" Dana continues with a laugh, "Y'all already know that I knew Lissa from my high school." She grins, "So if you really want the dirt on her, just ask."

Mandy retorts, "Mental note: Make a gab-fest date with Dana about Lissa." She shoots a look at Lissa pointedly, "And I am gettingal the details."

Dana laughs when the older woman groans, "I'll be honest, but will only reveal what I know when directly asked." She winks and continues, "Let's see, I didn't make great grades like coach did in high school. I'm in college strictly because I can play ball! I'm single and haven't ever been in a relationship. I had one crush in high school. It was on a guy named Boyd, he was a writer and I just adored him. I knew he was going to go places and do wonderful, exciting things because he was so smart and cute and talented." Her face falls,

"He's a construction worker who works for my dad now." She laughs, "Life's crazy like that, huh?"

Jackie raises a hand to dismiss that thought and adds, "Honey, men are crazy, don't feel bad for falling for the lie. I'm sure every woman in this room has a story of her own.

Continue."

She looks down at her hands, "I love animals, I dye my hair, and I just…" she shrugs and looks back up, "am really glad to have the chance to play this game with y'al ."

Lissa knows how much being on this team means to Dana. Having been her coach in the past, she knows al too wel what her home life is like. And the version she gave just now is Dana's way of looking on the bright side.

Julie grins at the girl, "We're glad to have ya, Dana."

Dana blushes slightly, "Thanks, Whit."

Jackie jumps right in, "My turn! Jackie Baits, here, ladies. I'm from here in Chestnut and I'm seventeen. My grades sucked in high school, too, but thankfully I can play a little ball."

"Just alittle," Julie mumbles with a smile.

"Yeah," Jackie laughs, "just a little." She continues, "My parents are divorced. I live with my mom. My dad's in Ohio working. My brother is twenty and in the Army being all he can be. I like animals and because black people's hair doesn't take color too well, this beautiful shade of bird shit is my natural color." The whole room explodes in laughter and when it dies down she speaks again, "Just to get it out there, I'm a lesbian. I've been out since the age of thirteen. I had a crush on my teacher, Mrs. Cannel." She sighs, "She was something else. I had my first girlfriend when I was fourteen and we went together for almost four days."

"That's her longest relationship, too," Julie jokes.

"Ha. Ha." Jackie shoots the girl the evil eye and then grins, "But you're about right!

The longest fling I've had was one month, two weeks, and three days long." She shakes her head, "I couldn't bear going to college four states away from her, so I broke it off."

Genuinely curious, Lissa asks, "So she went away to school?"

"Yep," Jackie nods. "She's in Texas playing softball for UT."

"Hey," Jenny speaks up, "we didn't trade your girlfriend for Whit, did we? If we did, can we get a refund? I'll pay any restocking fee they charge."

Julie rolls her eyes and sighs, but Jackie speaks for her, "We tried getting a refund for you, Jenny, but they refused. Said we agreed to take you 'as is'. They didn't tell us some assembly was required." She elbows Julie and whispers, "She should"ve been marked 'void where prohibited'." Julie covers her mouth and stifles a very loud laugh.

Lissa stops the argument before it ever grows wings, "And your parents are okay with your sexuality?"

"My mom's okay with it," Jackie's voice lowers just a touch, "and my dad's working on accepting it. But he left me, my brother, and my mom when I was thirteen. So I honestly don't give a flying damn what he thinks. And, of course, my brother thinks it's the coolest thing since Velcro."

"Hey," Lissa smiles brightly, "you are who you are, honey. And you're a beautiful, smart, fantastic basketball player, and one hell of a young woman. You don't have anything to be ashamed of."

Jackie smiles, "Look, I'm just glad that I made it as far as I have. And I'm really enjoying the ride so far. I'm also really glad it doesn't seem to freak you out that I have an

'alternative lifestyle'."

"Jackie, remember this: every lifestyle is an alternative to dying alone." Lissa addresses the group, "There are always going to be people who talk about you. Inevitably there will be someone who's not going to like your clothes or your hair or who you take home.

And I say, 'To Hell with 'em.'" She winks at Jackie, "I applaud your bravery in coming out to the group. This is an open team. And, again, until your sexual preference interferes with your ability to play basketbal , I don't give a damn which gender you date. Just be safe and smart." Glancing around the room, she asks, "Who's next?"

One by one, each girl reveals as much as they feel comfortable. There are several girls with split families. But Lissa is amazed at how different and yet, so alike they are. Cindy has same-sex parents, Mark and Jim. Several of the girls are lesbians and there are four of them who've had more relationships than their coach. Stephanie was in ballet until her senior year of high school and dropped out of a touring troupe to play bal . Gretchen is a trained deep sea fisherman and has won several contests with her dad. Laura's given name is Laurel April Marie Diane Moran because her parents couldn't decide on one name. Tammy has asthma and Linda, who is the oldest at twenty, has a broken collarbone that refuses to heal. Gayle is the youngest at just barely seventeen, but she's the only girl who's in a serious relationship.

She's been with her girlfriend, August, for almost two years.

Curious as to why she's waited to be last, Lissa informs Julie that it's her turn, "Okay, Whit, it's your turn. Spill all the juicy details."

"You'll learn soon enough that I always save the best for last," Julie gives the woman a drop-dead gorgeous smile. "I'm Julie Anne Whitney. You already know I'm from Planco, Texas. I'm the older of two children, like you, Lissa. My brother, Mark, is seven and I call him 'Buddy'. I'm actual y adopted. The Whitney"s adopted me when I was ten and Mark was born just before I turned twelve." She waits for any kind of comment and continues when no comments come, "You've all heard the horror stories about adopted kids and I was no different, so I won't bore you with the details, but I didn't have a great childhood until the Whitney"s. I adore my mom, Hannah, and worship my dad, Ricky. My real mom died when I was six months old. Obviously I don't remember her, but they tell me her name was Veronica."

When Julie pauses, Dana tentatively asks, "What about your dad? Did you know him at all?"

Julie smiles, but there's a bit of sadness there, "His name was Grant and he was killed long before I was born. I don't know how and honestly probably don't want to know. When my birth mother got sick with cancer, she took herself to the hospital and had me in her arms when she collapsed at the ER. The nurses at the hospital where she died tried to find my family, but" she bites her lip, "they couldn't. So, when I was almost one, I went into the foster care system."

Amazed at the story she's hearing, Lissa asks gently, "So the Whitney's didn't adopt you immediately?"

She takes a deep breath and lowers her eyes, "No. From that day until I was ten, I went through twenty-four foster homes. And they were all different versions of Hell. I've been beaten, burnt with cigarettes, tied to a chair, and starved for eight days straight. I've been in therapy since I was twelve and I still go see my therapist at least once every six months. She's hooked me up with a really cool guy here in Chestnut to continue my treatment. I'll probably be seeing a shrink for the rest of my life. So that's all the bad stuff."

Knowing that divulging this information is hurting Julie's pride, Jackie elbows her,

"Then tell us the good stuff!"

"Okay," Julie stretches her legs out, "I have a dog named Doggie." She smiles and everyone else giggles, "Can you tell I thought of that al on my own? There's also a lazy cat named, of course, Kitty. I'm a lesbian and I've been in a couple of relationships but nothing I want to talk about, thank you. I tan in sun, instead of burning like Dana, have a tattoo on my lower back that's the Chinese symbol for 'chosen', and over seventy scars." She takes a breath and waits for someone to say something. Then, suddenly, she adds, sneaking a look at her coach, "Oh and my curtains match my carpet. Let me know if you want to see."

Too stunned to laugh outright, the girls just snicker. Lissa's absolutely blown away by Julie's story and can't think of a single thing to say. When her mystified brain catches up with her comment, she innocently asks, "The curtains in your room? Wait, aren't the carpets in the dorms a nasty orange color?"

Julie laughs first, followed by everyone else, "No, that means that this is my real hair color. Your hair is the curtain and your… uh…" she can't finish for blushing.

Jackie steps in to help, "The hair in your nether region is considered the carpet."

It takes a moment, but when she finally catches on, she laughs loudly, "Oh my God!

That's a good one."Oh, yeah, I'm going to have to use that one! Farrah will love that!Then she gets serious, "Julie, I think that I speak for everyone when I say thank you for sharing that with us. I knew you were a strong person. But," she shakes her head, "I didn't have a clue just how strong you are. I have to say that you have really stunned me. And I'm just," putting a hand over her heart, "honored to know someone as strong as you are." Her jaw clenches and she's surprised to find that she's fighting back emotions she can't describe, "I haven't been through anythingcloseto what you've been through. And you've become someone who exudes grace, humility, strength, and calm. You're one truly amazing person, Julie Anne Whitney."

When the girl smiles that same beautiful smile, Lissa forgets that she's ever been hurt. And when she lets out a giggle, the woman forgets everything else she ever claimed to know.

Blushing, she asks, "What? Did I say it wrong?"

"No, I just like how you say my name," Julie mumbles and lowers her gaze shyly before looking up into her coach's eyes again, "Thanks."

Their eyes lock for a long moment as the girls talk amongst themselves. Julie eventually turns away, and begins talking to Jackie, leaving Lissa to reflect on her thoughts.She's been through so much in such a short, short time. I can't possibly compare our lives and not feel horrible for ever complaining about something trivial.Sure, Lissa's had hard times; break ups that wounded her to the core, relationships that left emotional scars, but they are nothing to the experiences Julie's suffered through. When Jackie says she's hungry, Lissa snaps out of her reverie, "Okay, it's time to eat!"

When they take their seats at the dining room table, Stephanie turns to Lissa with a confused look, "Why do you have such a big table?"

Looking around at all the expectant faces, she quips, "Because I knew y'all were coming!"

"Will you get a bigger bed when we al get together for a sleep over? One that will fit us all?" Jackie asks in jest.

She pretends to be hurt, "Jackie! What makes you think I want everyone else sleeping in my bed? If we have a sleep over, I want it to be just you and me!"

Everyone laughs at Jackie as the girl fumbles for words amongst the embarrassment and creeping smile, "Oh, uh. Shit." To the group, "Shut up! Yeah, she got me. Shut up!"

Julie pokes the girl on the arm, "I have never seen you speechless before! This is all so new to me!"

"Well it's not every day that the hot new coach makes even a joking pass at you! Damn, give me a little slack!" Jackie laughs, "Besides, Whit, you know you'd fight me tooth and nail to be in my place if that was to ever happen."

Julie blushes furiously but manages a comeback, "Damn right, Baits! You are damn right about that!" She steals a glance at Lissa who's putting food on a plate, acting as if she didn't hear them. And yet, she's hanging on every word with amusement, "You wouldn't mind, would you, coach, if Jackie gave me her spot in your bed?"

For a moment Lissa pretends to think about the offer, "No, I don't guess so."

Jackie nudges Julie and directs her attention at Lissa, "Julie's hands are bigger than mine, coach. That doesn't bother you, does it?"

Catching the innuendo, Lissa gazes directly at the two grinning mischief makers, "I catch what you're referring to, Miss Baits, and I think I should take this opportunity to teach you a bit. When it comes to matters of sex, if the job is done right, almost every woman can handle any size presented."One down,Julie's turn for a stare, "So, Julie, if you work the foreplay right, it won't matter what size your fingers are, I'll be able to handle them. Not only that, but if you're as good at foreplay as you'd like to think you are, I'll be begging for it."

Mmm don't tease me, Coach. You don't know half of what I'd do to you.Her face flushes only slightly now, as she's enjoying the banter, "Well there's only one way to find out, isn't there?"

She smiles at the quickness of the girl's comeback. With a look that"s a little more wicked than she intends, she replies, "Yes."

Feeling Jackie turn to speak to someone else, Julie pauses a moment as the conversations swirl around them. She drops her voice just above a whisper as she leans towards the woman, "Are you saying you'd like to find out?"

Oh, Julie, you'd be surprised at what I'd like to find out.Smiling, Lissa reaches out and puts a hand over hers, "I don't want you to get the wrong idea."

"But…"

She shakes her head, "No 'but'."

"Oh, there's a 'but'. I hear it." Julie leans closer and holds Lissa's eyes with her own,

"You don't want me to get the wrong idea, but the answer is 'yes'."

"You barely know me and yet you think you can answer that for me?" Her voice belies the fact that Julie's got her squirming. She's putting on more bravado than she actual y feels.

"I don't have to know someone long to recognize need in their eyes," she counters.

Lissa removes her hand and her voice takes on a strong undertone, "Julie, there are a lot of things I want in life. My pictures hung on the wall, more time with my mom, and a decent pan to cook frozen pizza on. But there are very, very few things Ineed. And I am not so far gone at this point that I need anyone. Not evenyou."

Ouch. Point made. Maybe I'm going a little too fast.Julie breaks their gaze and places her napkin in her lap, "Of course not." She takes her fork and twirls spaghetti around it, "I'll just sit here and keep my comments to myself."She still thinks I'm a child. That's ok.. I got time, Miss Norman. I'l show you.

Ah, shit. I didn't mean to sound like a total ass, "Julie, please don't be mad. I was just saying-"

"I know what you are saying," Julie cuts the woman off firmly but keeps her voice intimate, "and I understand. I'm sorry if I crossed a line. I'll keep my opinions to myself from now on."

"No, you don't know what I'm saying because you didn't let me say anything." It takes her a moment to find the right words, "I guess I was on the defensive because you're right to a certain extent." Julie looks up at her, but Lissa looks away, "I mean, it's been a while since I've felt…well, anything from anyone. I felt a little transparent because you clearly saw through me."You're saying too much, Lissa. Ah, fuck it!She sighs and adds, "And I suppose I was a little embarrassed about you knowing that much about me that quickly."

The corners of Julie's mouth curl into a slow grin, "I won't tell anybody. I promise."

She reaches out and touches the tip of Lissa's nose lightly, "It'll be our little secret."

Lissa thinks she might have shivered but she swallows hard and smiles to cover it,

"Okay. And don't hold it against me, either. I'm not desperate. I'm just…um," she shrugs,

"waiting on the right person, you know?"

Julie nods, "I know. But, if I were you, I'd stop kicking myself in the ass over being alone. After all, from where I sit, it's everyone else's loss that you haven't picked someone to love. And it's a shame you haven't found someone to take that look out of your eyes. Just a damn shame."But I'l volunteer right here and now if you're taking applications.

Oh my, she's laying it on thick!She can't help laughing at that, "Well, maybe I'll find someone by the time we have another conversation like this." She takes a bite of her roll,

"Then I can redeem myself and that look you noticed will be gone. Replaced, hopefully, by the look of a sexually and emotionally satisfied woman."

Julie smiles at Lissa with that twinkle in her eyes again, "Well, who knows? Maybe I'll be there when it happens and you won't have to tell me."

Over the din of laughter and clinking glass, Lissa holds their gaze, not missing the insinuation of that statement. She smiles shyly and when Whit winks at her, a shiver works its way down her spine again.I wonder what she'd do if I asked to see her carpet. The thought almost makes her choke on her spaghetti.

Chapter 3

Monday, October 18

"I can't believe this shit," Jackie slings her book bag onto the conference room table,

"It's not like we're going to flunk out if we don't pass this damn test."

Julie sighs and takes a seat, "I know, but if we don't pass, we can't play."And God knows, I have to play or I'l go fucking crazy.

"I know," defeated, Jackie plops down in the chair across the table, "Where's coach?"

"I don't know," Julie takes a book and notebook out of her bag and opens them both,

"We can start without her, right?"

Jackie shrugs, "Hell if I know! I haven't had a mandatory study hal before!"

Just then the door opens and Lissa comes rushing through, "Sorry, ladies. I got caught on a conference call." She all but throws her laptop down on the table, "Just go ahead and start. I'll try to be as quiet as possible. I've got some work to do myself. The plans for the season kickoff dinner are going to kill me."Or drive me to drink!She plugs the power cord into the wall outlet and mumbles, "Where the hell is my pen?"

Jackie shoots Julie a smile and then delves into her own notes. Julie gives the coach a long look. I wonder if she knows how beautiful she is.She sighs, probably not.Lissa notices her looking and looks back expectantly. Julie reaches out and gently pulls the pen out of the woman's hair. Holding it up she smiles, "You looking for this?"

Her hand is shaking slightly when she reaches out for the pen, "Yes, thank you." She breaks eye contact.I can't help it! Those eyes are going to melt me, "Um," she ventures another look, "do you need anything?"

She raises one eyebrow, "That's a loaded question, coach."You. I want you.

Oh shit. .now what?Lissa tries to squelch the blush, "Oh, sorry." Her throat is suddenly very dry, "Do you need a drink or anything to write with or.. " she swallows hard,

"anything?"Damn, she's caught me! She knows she's thrown me off and she loves it!

She smirks, "Nah, I've got a pen and a bottle of water." She licks her lips, and notices that Lissa's watching that very deliberate move.Oh God, don't let me throw you on this table right now, but I have to ask you, "Do you need anything?"

If I gaze at her lips a moment longer, I"ll be a puddle on the floor formerly known as Coach Norman.Her eyes jerk back up, "Oh, uh, no," she pats the pile of paperwork she brought, "I've got everything I think." She turns to locate the water cooler, "And there's a water machine in here if I get thirsty. And I am." I want to drink you, Julie Whitney. Slurp you up like a. . FUCK! Don't go there, Lissa. Breathe, damn you!

Lissa turns to the water machine. With her back turned, her shaking hand wraps around a cup and the other begins to fill it. Closing her eyes, she attempts to clear the image of those blue eyes.Just breathe. Breathe.When she feels cold water on her hand, her eyes fly open, "Shit!" She grabs the cup with her dry hand and shakes her wet one in frustration,

"God damn it!" With a sigh, she implores to the ceiling, "Could youpleaselet me not look stupid every time I'm trying to impress someone?" Instantly she realizes that she's said that out loud and wishes she could take it back.Please, please, let them have gone momentarily deaf.Then she feels a hand on her own, taking the cup. She looks at the hand closely, it's darker, stronger, with longer fingers and more pronounced knuckles. Without looking, she can feel Julie behind her and then she feels the girl's breath on her ear.

Julie whispers, "You're too beautiful to look stupid." She takes a firm hold of the cup,

"I got it." Lissa lets go of the cup, but doesn't move her hand. The corner of Julie's mouth curls into a smile and a tiny whoosh of air escapes her lips to blow Lissa's hair a little. The woman inhales sharply and Julie moves a little closer to whisper, "And I'm sure whoever you're trying to impress is plenty taken with you already."God have mercy she smel s the way Heaven would smel . And I bet she tastes just as damn good.

Oh, sweet Jesus.Lissa swallows hard and whispers, "You think so?"

Julie's eyes close a little and she all but moans, "Oh yeah."Oh, baby, you have no idea.

The woman can feel Julie move excruciatingly closer. There is a warm tingle in the areas where her shadow falls on Lissa's body.This is so dangerous! Shit! I think I like it, though! Come on, Lissa, say something stunning and make her think you're witty or sexy.

But she stops Lissa cold, "Don't try so hard, Lissa. All you have to do is smile and the world waits for you, baby."

She turns to look up at her now, "Thank you for saying so but I hardly think that's true." She tries searching her mind for that something witty again even as she searches Julie's face for something else.What do I want her to do? What do I want?Shyly she smiles and whispers, "Can I have my water now? My lips are kind of dry."

As if it were a carefully calculated move, Julie dips her thumb in the water and reaches out. She softly rubs the pad of her thumb over Lissa's lips, wetting the top and then the bottom.

Without thinking about it, Lissa's tongue darts out and licks Julie's finger, partly for the water there and partly to gauge her reaction. Julie's face blanches and Lissa's mind screams.That's it! That's what I'm looking for--the upper hand,"Thank you. I needed that."

She holds a hand out for the cup.

Shit! Oh shit! Warning! Things are getting hot. .and very wet here, Whit!Julie hands it over, "No ma'am, thank you. Your need wasn't the only one satisfied." She turns and walks back to her chair, taking it with a deep breath.

To start with, she seems unaffected by the closeness. But then Lissa notices that Julie's hands are placed flat on the table and she's taking slow, calming breaths.At least I'm not alone!It's now that she notices her own shaking. She sits and attempts to focus her eyes and mind on the computer. But she soon discovers that if she looks just slightly over the left-hand corner of the screen she can see Julie's face. Pretending to read something, she watches as Julie reads over her notes.

Julie"s lips move silently and she's lightly tapping her pen on the page. The tank top she's famous for wearing is layered over a grey sports bra, showing off her arms nicely. And the black basketbal shorts she wears are hanging dangerously low on her hips, showing a little bit of her chiseled abs. She's all muscle and brawn and yet, there are soft curves and seductive shadows there. She's a woman; some would argue a young woman, but a woman nonetheless. And yet, her hair is pulled back in a ponytail and tied with a black shoelace. Its little bits of whimsy like that one that make Lissa like her even more.

She marvels at how young Julie is and then her eyes fall on the light patches of skin on the girl's right arm. She almost winces.Cigarette burns.She grits her teeth as her mind races with anger. I could kill whoever did that to you.Taking a ragged breath, she glances at Jackie, who's immersed in her own book. I'm not going to get anything done if I keep ogling my players.She opens her spreadsheet and tries like hell to focus on work.

Julie can feel the coach watching her but she tries to focus.Get a good look, baby. I'l get my chance later.And when she's sure Lissa's really focused on her work, Julie shifts in her seat so that she can do some sly surveillance herself. It's hard, but she manages to not smile as she watches Lissa raise her eyebrows and make funny faces at her computer. She's dressed like always: polo shirt, khaki pants, and brown shoes. But her hair's pulled up in a really haphazard manner and there's a bit of hair that's being stubborn. Lissa keeps absentmindedly brushing it away from her face and Julie finds it almost comical but doesn't laugh aloud. When Lissa begins biting her bottom lip, capturing it with her teeth and slowly pulling it out, Julie watches as if her life depended on memorizing every nuance. I have to stop watching that, or I'm going to attack her and chew that lip myself!She dives back into her book with a sigh.

Lissa manages to bury herself for two hours. With one hour left, she stands and stretches, "Ladies, I need a break. What about y'all?"

The girls practically throw their books down. Julie yawns, "Thank God, I'm about to lose consciousness!"

Jackie stands and lifts her arms over her head, "My back hurts. These damn chairs aren't good for long-term sitting."

"I agree whole-heartedly with that." A sudden urge comes over her and Lissa gives the girls a sly grin, "Who wants chocolate?" When they hesitate, she adds "My treat."

Julie grins, "Three Musketeers!"

"Yeah that sounds good! Oh, wait, no! I want a Snickers bar!" Jackie laughs.

"Alright," she digs around her purse for spare change. She manages to gather a couple of dollar bills and two dollars in quarters. To Julie's delight, Lissa actually giggles out loud,

"I'll be right back. Get some water." She practical y bounces out of the room.

Julie spins around on her heel and flops into her chair, "Oh, God, Jackie, I'm sunk."

"No!" Jackie exclaims jokingly, "Notyou! I'd have never guessed!" She laughs, "You're something else, you know that?"

"What? Can you blame me? She's so smart and funny and Lord have mercy, she makes me want to do the dirtiest things to her!"Nasty, hot, wet, hard, soft, naughty things.

Jackie shakes her head, "You barely know her!"

"Give me a break, Jackie," Julie playfully throws her pen at the girl, "as if that's ever stopped you!"

Jackie raises her hands in defense and slides the pen back to her, "I didn't say it had to stop you. I was just making a point!"

Julie scoffs, "Well, I'll have you know that I almost kissed her just a bit ago. And our dear, chaste assistant coach didn't seem to be keeping me from it." She smirks, "As a matter of fact, I think she was readying herself to kiss back."

"Whatever, Whit!" Jackie laughs, "She was not!"

"Yes, she was!" Julie insists, "She had her head back and her lips pursed and the whole deal! Just like you see in the movies!"

"I think you read too many romance novels, my friend," Jackie shakes her head. "Plus, if she did lose her mind and kiss you back, she'd freak out shortly thereafter and flee the room in horror, I'm sure."

"You know," Julie says thoughtfully, "I'm not sure there's a rule against player and coach relationships. So I don't think she'd run at all."

Jackie gives her friend a "get real" look, "Whit, I wasn't saying she'd run because of a stupid-ass rule. She'd run because you can't kiss worth a damn!"

"Hey!" Julie protests, "I can kiss just fine, thank you!"

"That ain't what Jenny says," Jackie prods.

Julie's gaze narrows, "I'm going to forget you ever said that. Because we both know Jenny's opinion of me is a bit biased. I haven't had a single complaint until her. And Jenny's level of stupidity doesn't help her credibility. So don't believe anything she says about me."

"Aw hell, Whit, you know I'm just kidding with you!" Jackie stands and walks around the table to sit in the chair by Julie, "Listen, Jenny talks a lot of shit. And not a single person on this team believes a damn word she says. Not one word. Don't sweat it." She leans back in her chair and looks at her friend thoughtfully, "She was real y going to kiss you?"

Julie's smile is lop-sided and playful, "I believe she might have."

"Go on, playah!" Jackie laughs.

Lissa comes back through the door with a big smile, "I hit the jackpot! When I put the money in for your Snickers," she holds up her prize, "I got two instead of one!"

"Dude!" Jackie exclaims as she catches the candy bar Lissa throws at her.

Julie laughs as she peels the wrapper on her treat, "Man, this is going to be the best candy bar I've ever eaten. I'm starving!" She takes a bite and chews slowly, moaning and groaning her appreciation.

Although immersed in opening her M&M's, when Julie moans, Lissa gasps, "Julie!"

Completely oblivious, she responds, "Huh?"

She giggles a little, realizing her mind went somewhere it shouldn't have over an innocent noise, "I just- It sounded like you were doing something naughty."

Julie swallows and licks her lips, "Yeah? Want me to do it again so you can remember it later?"

Jackie chokes, "Shit!" Once the bite goes down, she laughs, "You're going to kill me, Whit!"

Julie laughs, "Nah."

Glad that she's let off the hook by Jackie's near asphyxiation, Lissa leans back in her chair and pops some M&M's into her mouth, "So, do you two think you're almost ready for the test?"

Jackie shakes her head, "Me? No. I'll be back. I have to pee!"

"I think I am," Julie says as Jackie leaves the room. "But I'm not saying that I'm going to pass it. I think I will, but don't hold me to it." She nods to the coach, "Are you done working?"

"I'm never done working," she replies, rolling her eyes. She brushes the hair out of her eyes again. In a huff, she throws her candy on the table and jerks the clip out of her hair. It falls around the woman's shoulders in disappointing waves. She grumbles as she attempts to wrestle it into submission.

Mother of God, what I wouldn't give to bury my hands in that.Julie, completely captivated with her candy bar half way to her open mouth, breathes, "Lissa?"

With the clip in her mouth, she grunts, "Hm?" She gathers almost all of her hair in one hand and twists it roughly.

Julie moves to stand and walks towards the woman with her hand out, "Can I?"

Okay, now I'm completely confused. What's she asking me?She takes the clip out of her mouth, "Can you what?"

Hesitantly she reaches out and takes Lissa's hand, the one holding her hair captive.

When they're freed, the strands tumble down over her shoulders again. Julie asks in the slightest of whispers, "Can I do your hair?"

Mystified, she nods silently before turning and holding still, awaiting her touch, "Just be gentle, I'm tender headed."

She breathes on the back of Lissa's neck, "Okay." She takes the clip from the woman's hand and puts it on the table. Gently, Julie reaches out and runs her hand from the crown of Lissa's head to the ends of the hair. Making the woman's body tingle, Julie runs her hand along the back of Lissa's neck, gathering the hair from the bottom up. She takes her free hand and runs it through the hair, using it as a brush.

Slowly, as if she's being lulled asleep, her eyes close and Lissa finds she's relishing the touch. Her breathing slows and surprisingly, she manages to relax.

Once she has it in a ponytail, gathered at the nape of Lissa's neck, she tenderly twists and clips the hair in place. She uses her hands on either side of Lissa's head, stroking from front to back, smoothing the tiny stray hairs down. When her fingers graze the woman's ears, Lissa can't help the sigh that gets out. Feather-light, Julie traces the outline of the woman's right ear. She teases the sensitive spot behind Lissa's ear lobe and traces the neckline of her shirt until she's touching Lissa's collar bone. Lissa can feel Julie smiling when the woman unintentional y tilts her head to the left, melting under the touch.I know you want me to want something. .want what, though? A touch, a sigh, a kiss? Or do you intend for me to want something more specific? Like. .you. Wel , if that's your intent, baby, you succeeded.

"Ugh, that bathroom has the worst clinical smell," Jackie announces from the door.

Lissa's eyes flutter open and she shakes the cobwebs away, "Oh, really?" Turning to Julie, she tries to sound normal, "Thank you."

Laying her hand over her rapidly beating heart, she murmurs "No," she shakes her head slightly, "the pleasure was all mine, trust me."I'm going to bite through this damn lip if I don't watch out.To Jackie, she quips, "At least we know it's clean, right?"

Since she's failing miserably at composing herself, Lissa decides to let herself - and them - off the hook, "Actual y, if you're ready to go, you two can leave," she stands, but her knees almost give out. "The three hours was just a suggestion, not a rule." They take advantage of the easy out and she has to hold her hand up to halt them from packing up their things, "But listen to me," she waits until both pair of eyes are on her, "I want the both of you to ace this test, do you understand me?"

They both nod and Julie adds, "We'll do our best, I promise."

Lissa looks straight into her eyes, "I trust you."

Jackie opens the door to leave first, "Let's go, Whit."

Julie turns away from the woman and pulls her book bag on, "Give me a second?"

"Yeah, I'll be in the car." Jackie waves at Lissa, "Thanks for the chocolate, coach."

"No problem." Her smile is genuine and she waves back, "Good luck tomorrow." When the door closes behind Jackie, she asks nervously, "Yes?"

Julie comes to stand before the woman, her thumbs hooked on the straps of her book bag, "I just wanted to tel you that I appreciate you working out this deal with our professor.

You saved our asses with this study hal thing. I thought for sure we were going to get benched, but you talked him into giving us another chance." Her gaze falters for a moment and she adds, "And I really enjoyed spending time with you, even if I had to study for most of it."

In one moment she looks so young and innocent. And then, at the very same instant, I see myself reflected in her eyes, the maturity, confusion, the. .is that need?She bows her head shyly, "I enjoyed it, too."

The tension between them is almost palpable, the heat practical y unbearable. Mere inches separate them and Julie seems to recognize the feeling and slowly leans forward.I know what she wants and, God help me, I want the same thing, but I can't.Lissa stops her,

"Please," she puts her hand on Julie's cheek even though she probably shouldn't, "just let me go home with the tingling feeling, okay? That's enough for now, right?"I want so much more.

Please see that I want more.

A slow smile creeps up on her face, "Yes," she agrees, "I think it is." She turns her head slightly so that Lissa's hand makes firmer contact with her cheek and her eyes close momentarily, "The tingling is enough for now." I hope I'm not imagining things, but I think you want more.After a moment, her eyes open and she unconsciously scrapes her teeth over her bottom lip. Smiling, she whispers, "I'll see you tomorrow, then." She turns to go and stops at the door, "Oh, and Lissa?"

Shaken, she looks up, "Yes?"

"I've wondered ever since the first day I met you. And in case anyone ever asks, no, your hair isn't as soft as it looks," she smiles slyly, "it's infinitely softer." And with that, she disappears.

Blindly, Lissa takes a seat, completely astonished. After a moment of quiet thought, she reaches up and touches the hair clip with a faint smile.And your hands are softer than they appear, Miss Whitney, much softer.The memory actual y makes her shiver.

Chapter 4

Thursday, October 21

"V set! V set, Julie! V set!" Coach Allen screams the play from the sidelines, hoping to start a run with five minutes left in the first half. The score, when he takes a chance to look, is decidedly in their favor, but he's not satisfied with simply winning. The team's playing has been lackluster at best, and he's going to give them an ear full at the half.

"Yes, coach," Julie murmurs to herself, her hands on her hips and her eyes on the floor, "I hear you, damn it." She lets out a frustrated sigh and catches the inbound pass from Dana. She dribbles along the sideline and finds her open target. She completes the pass and Gretchen goes in for an easy lay-up.Thank God!Julie takes a deep breath and begins walking towards the bench when she hears the whistle blow for a sixty-second time out.

Before she has a chance to sit down, Lissa grabs Julie by the arm, "Come here. I need to talk to you." She pulls her to the side and lowers her voice, "Is there something wrong?"

When she gets no immediate response, she changes the question, "What's bothering you?

You're spaced out on the court. You're not running the plays he's calling. And you just keep getting more frustrated by the minute. You need to snap out of whatever funk you're in and get your head in the game." She tries to catch Julie's eye, but she's avoiding eye contact like the plague.Okay you're not saying a word. That pisses me off.She grabs her shoulders and again, more concerned this time, she demands an answer, "What's wrong, Whit?"

Something inside her snaps and Julie lashes out in a barely contained voice, "It's not justme!" She begins flailing her arms, "Gretchen's lost four balls so far! Dana's damn near fouled out! Jackie couldn't hit the broad side of a planet tonight! I don't know what more I can do!" She points at the scoreboard, "I've got twenty-seven God damned points and no one else is even in double digits! Thank God we're a decent defensive team or we'd be getting the shit beat out of us!" She's breathing heavily from relieving herself of those worries and seems to instantly regret spewing them. Instead of apologizing, she simply puts her hands on her hips and looks at the floor dejectedly.Fuck, now I've done it. God, just let me die in peace! Don't look at me with those eyes unless you're going to come home with me and hold me. I just need to be held.

A little shocked by the venom in her voice, but not surprised that she had to get that out, she approaches more gently this time, "Okay. Now that you've gotten that off your chest, do you feel better?"

Julie nods and says quietly, "Yes, ma'am."Please, just leave me in peace. I just need a minute.

At first she resists the urge to hug her. But she looks like she could use a little comfort.Wel , maybe that's exactly what she needs.Jokingly Lissa lightly pokes her in the stomach, "So, what can I do to help?" She gives the girl a sly, wicked look and it's not lost.

Against her will, she almost smiles. I know she's just playing but God, I appreciate it.She smiles shyly, "That's a dangerous thing, coach." She looks into the woman's eyes and gets weak in the knees, "There are so many answers it'd boggle your mind. But, honestly, I just want a hug right now, if you're willing."Please be willing. Please.

"Come 'ere," Lissa spreads her arms. Softly she pulls Julie into her body, their arms wrapping around each other.We fit wel together. I fit perfectly into her arms because I'm shorter.

They stand holding each other only a matter of seconds, but for Julie, it is long enough to give her the morale boost she needs.Oh thank you, God. She feels so good. She fits right there like she was made for that spot.When she relaxes, with a sigh, she knows Lissa can feel all the tension drain away, but she doesn't mind showing that to the woman. When she pulls away, she smiles brightly, "Thank you. I guess I just needed a little bit of encouragement."

Returning the grin, Lissa rubs the girl's arm affectionately, "No problem. Now get out there and try to focus, okay? I know everyone else isn't playing well, but you're the leader.

Get them in the game. You can do this. I know you're young, but you're a starter for a reason. You can lead this team, I know it. You know it. He knows it. And they know it. Now take a deep breath, steel yourself, and do it. You can do this, baby."

Another, slower, smile spreads itself across Julie's face as she leans down to whisper,

"You called me baby."

Damn! Did I?"Oh, God, I'm sorry. I didn't mean. ." words fail her. Or perhaps it was her voice altogether, "It was a mistake, Julie, I'm sorry."

She takes the woman's hand, "Hey, hey, it's okay," she pauses a moment, "I liked it."

Lissa's heart is pounding and she's finding that she's quite embarrassed, "Well, let's just forget I said that, okay?"

Julie lets the hand drop slowly away, "Don't think I can do that. But I promise I won't tell anyone else." She turns and trots to the huddle wearing a giant grin.That was almost better than a kiss!

As she leaves, Lissa sighs and finds her seat on the bench. The next ten minutes or so are spent trying to keep herself from visibly kicking her own ass for that verbal slip.I can't believe I cal ed her 'baby'!The rest of the first half, all of half-time, and the remainder of the game are a blur for Lissa.

The Eagles win by a forty point margin, and Julie's still not satisfied. She seems almost more disappointed than Coach Allen. Lissa reminds her that this was just the first exhibition game and although the team gels really well right now off the court, they have a lot to learn about each other on the court. But she just nods and walks away.

After the game is won, coach's speech is over, and showers have been taken, the team walks to the bus in a weary, worn group. Everyone else seems to be on a high from the win.

But Julie and Jackie won't let it go that they feel the team didn't play up to its potential.

Walking side by side with Jackie, Julie laughs, "Well, at least we know we can win even if we play like shit."

Jackie snorts, "Yeah. Thank God for that, huh?"

"I don't know about the rest of you, but I played pretty well!" Jenny smirks.

"Yeah you did," Julie can't cover the blatant sarcasm, but she tries covering it with a laugh, "both minutes, even!"

Everyone but Jenny laughs as they board the bus. Julie stands aside while everyone else loads up. Lissa takes a seat and prepares for a long trip home. If she could have, she would've have thrown her laptop in the luggage compartment and forgotten about it until they reached the city limits!

Julie slides in next to Beth with a sigh, "Can I sit here?"

Beth nods, "Yeah, if your ass fits in the seat." She winks and puts her headphones on before closing her eyes and settling in to sleep the rest of the way home.

Silently Lissa thanks God for the empty seat next to her. She's got a ton of computer work to do. With a heavy heart and eyelids she opens her laptop and waits for it to boot by resting her head on the seat and closing her eyes for a few moments. She tries to clear her mind so that she can focus it on work.. .until she feels warm breath on her neck.

"Coach?" Julie whispers into Lissa's ear.Oh, look at that, she's got goose bumps. I total y gave her goose bumps.

Lissa's honey brown eyes turn to face her and the woman whispers back, "Yeah?"

Shit. What was I gonna say? Come on, Whit! Talk!"Uh, I just wanted to thank you again for hugging me. I know it probably wasn't," her voice trails off as she searches for a word,

"appropriate, but I real y appreciate it."

"Then it was more than appropriate." Lissa can't help but smile at her.She's blushing!"I'm glad I could be there for you to vent to. Don't ever be scared to come to me if you need a sounding block, Whit."

"Hm, back to calling me Whit, huh?" She smirks, "Alright, but if you ask me," she leans in even closer, "I prefer 'baby'."

Even if I'm screamin' it? Oh God, shut up!"Don't press your luck," she jabs.

"Okay, okay." Julie says in mock defense. She motions towards the computer with her chin, "Are you going to work?"

The sigh is louder than she meant it to be, "Yeah. I don't want to, but I've got a lot to do."

Julie frowns, "Oh."Damn. And I wanted to get to know you better. Even if it did have to be through talking.

Whoa. What is that? Is she disappointed?She turns towards around a little more,

"Why? Do you need to talk?"

Her face scrunches with disappointment, "Well, I don'tneedto talk, but I'dliketo." She shrugs as she sits back, "But if you have to work, that's cool. I don't want to bother you. I'll just get some shut eye." She hopes she comes off as convincing, but she really doesn't want to let the woman of the hook that easily.

Ugh! I hate my job al of a sudden!"Okay. If you're sure." When the girl nods, Lissa turns back to the computer.I real y wish I didn't have so much to do because I'd love to talk, too.Her phone vibrates and scares her to death. When she opens it, there's a text message waiting, "Do you have the final numbers on positive RSVPs for the banquet?" She claps the phone and her eyes closed. After taking a moment to think about the answer, she texts a reply and gets to work.

The sounds of music can be heard through the various sets of headphones clamped to players' heads and it's distracting. Lissa pulls out her own headphones and adds the sounds of nature into the mix. She takes a deep breath, finally ready to work. And that's when she notices the smell of shampoo and soap from the player behind her.

Pretending to look for something, she turns around. She watches for just a moment as Julie's head bobs from side to side.She's probably not completely asleep, but I'm sure it won't be long. She looks so innocent and sweet.Her gaze falls to the hands in Julie's lap. Her fingers are laced together and they're tan against the white of her shorts.She's got large, strong hands. I remember her saying that she could palm a basketbal in middle school.She begins to chew her bottom lip and smiles to herself. I should say something to her one day about her hands. Something clever like, "Nice hands, Whit." Or maybe something suggestive like, "What else can you do one-handed?"She looks back into Julie's face to imagine the expression there if she ever said something like that. Her heart stops. Damn. I'm caught. Oh shit, Lissa. what are you gonna do now? She's looking back at me. She's not smiling, but she doesn't look mad, either.

Caught ya, baby!The satisfaction of knowing she was being watched is heightened by the fact that it was Lissa doing the watching. She leans forward slowly, cocking her head to the side. Her voice is low, sort of a growl, but not quite, "Is there something you need, coach?"Please say yes. I'l give you any damn thing you want. Please say yes.

Her mouth is dry, her eyes are wide, and her body is frozen. There is no response forthcoming. She honestly doesn't have a clue what to say, she just stares into those blue eyes and loses herself.Our faces are inches away. I can feel her breath on my face. She's so close. Close enough to. .The low lights in the bus cast shadows on her face that are teasing, tempting. . captivating, to say the least.

She lowers her head, having given the woman plenty of time to answer, and gets ever closer, "Lissa?" She can only blink. The corners of Julie's mouth toy with the idea of curling into a smile, "Is there. ." she pauses for dramatic effect, "anything I can do for you?"You don't even have to say anything, just nod, baby. Just nod and I'l take over. Come on, Lissa.

Searing. That's the word I'd use to describe the way she's looking at me. Her eyes are searing into mine and if she keeps this up, my whole face will go up in flames!Suddenly, as if by intervention of God Himself, her mouth finds the courage to answer just as her body finds the ability to turn away from those eyes, "Not today. I'll let you know."Fucking hel !When she feels the breath on her neck, she closes her eyes tightly and prays she doesn't melt into the floor.

Okay, close enough. You want me, and I know it.Her lips almost make contact with Lissa's ear, "Whenever. Wherever. You just let me know."

Chapter 5

Friday, October 29

I feel miserable and it's only getting worse.She wipes her nose for what seems like the thousandth time in an hour and groans, "I just don't know if I can make a flight and go on a three game road trip, Coach."

Taylor agrees, "Lissa, honey, if you don't think you can make it, you probably should stay behind this trip. It won't do us any good if you go on the trip and make everyone else sick just by being there. I know one thing for sure: you need to get better."

After a week on antibiotics, she doesn't feel a bit better and it's beginning to aggravate her, "I think that's probably the best thing."God, I don't want to send them off without me. But I don't want them to get sick because of me, either.

"Alright, then," Taylor stands and walks her to the door of his office, "I'll let the team know at practice."

She covers a sneeze and shakes her head, "Actually, I'd like to do it if you don't mind."

He smiles at her in that fatherly way he has, "Okay. Whatever you want. Just go home and get some rest, okay?"

"Thanks. I'll go and tell them now. Then I'll go home and rest."

He pats her shoulder, "Do that. And if you need anything, Lissa, please don't hesitate.

Just call Casey and she'll do whatever she can."

"I can't impose on your wife-"

He holds his hand up to stop her, "Don't you hesitate a second. You and I both know that she'd kick your butt al over the parking lot if she heard you." He wraps her in a fatherly hug, "Just call her if you need something, okay?"

She smiles at him weakly, "I will. I promise. Thank you, Taylor."

He chuckles as she leaves the room, "Don't thank me. You haven't had her chicken noodle soup."

The walk to the gym is much longer than I thought. Or maybe it's because I'm walking real y slow. I'm losing energy like it's pouring out of my skin.She finally makes it into the gym and is greeted by Jana who winces at her, "Aw, coach, you look," she pauses, "really bad."

She half-laughs, "Gee, thanks."

"Aw," she walks over and puts her arms around the woman, "I'm sorry."

"Nah, don't worry about it. Could you please call everyone over to the bleachers for me? My voice won't let me do it."

She beams, "Sure!" She turns to the court and screams, "Get over here! Now!"

Julie's eyes fall on Lissa and she gives the woman a curious look as she makes her way to the bleachers with everyone else. Once the entire team is assembled, Lissa turns to them with an apologetic smile, "I can't speak very well or loud, y'all forgive me." She takes a ragged, burning breath and stifles a coughing fit, "I know that we've got a very important road trip coming up. Everyone's supposed to meet up at the airport tomorrow morning really early and won't be back until Monday." She hesitates a moment and continues, "What I've brought you together to tell you is that I'm not going to be going on this trip with you."

Everyone protests at once but she puts her hands up, "I really, really want to come with you, I swear, but I can't. The doctor says that I need rest or these pills won't ever work. Plus, I'm contagious."

Julie shakes her head emphatically, "But if you come with us, we'll take care of you.

We'll make sure you take your medicine and Mandy's really good with massages." The other girls agree and start talking all at once. Julie quiets them, "Please, coach, we need you to come with us. If we don't have you, it's like the whole team isn't there. We'd be missing one of us and we're not a team if we're not all together."I can't do this without you. I can't leave you here. I need you there. We need you there.

While incredibly touched, there is no way Lissa's going to get on a plane with her ears popping the way they are, "Aw, thank you, Julie." With her eyes, Julie pleads, but Lissa can't give in.I'm just too far gone.So she smiles sympathetical y, "That's very nice, but we al know that's not true. You all have my cell if you need me and my home number. Any time of the day or night, if you need me for anything, you only need to call me. I promise I'll answer."I may not be coherent, but I'l answer.

Julie's jaw clenches and she looks at the floor. Jackie takes a turn at trying to convince her to come, "Please, coach? I mean, who's going to help me wrap my ankle and tie my headband?"

This is al very flattering, and I'm so tempted to listen to them. But I have to stick to my guns, "Jayd will help you, Jackie. But thank you for trying." Her eyes skim over the rest of the team, "Ladies, you are all very sweet, and trust me, I appreciate it, but I can't. I've got a fever, I'm weak, and I can't do anything."

Julie's leg is jumping up and down nervously. Lissa knows she's bound to explode and the coach isn't sure she's prepared for it. She braces herself and, as if on cue, Julie bursts,

"Then I'll stay and take care of you."

Alright, I wasn't prepared for that reaction.If her voice wasn't so scratchy she would shout back from the shock. Instead, it's more like a soft bark, "What are you talking about?

You can't do that!"

She stands and Lissa almost expects her to stomp her foot. She gets right in the coach's face defiantly, "I can and I will. What are you going to do at home? You can't stay by yourself! No one will be here to take care of you!" On the verge of spilling very hot tears that are brimming in her eyes, she exclaims, "What if you have to go to the doctor or, worse, the hospital? Who will take you? Who's gonna take you home and take care of you?" Her anger spent, and probably scared she's going to cry, she sits back down and tries to get her emotions under control.

Oh Julie! Please, God, don't let her cry. If she cries, I'l lose it.She kneels in front of her, "Listen, I'll be fine. I swear." When Julie"s eyes fall to the floor and she doesn't make eye contact, Lissa takes her hand, "Julie, I promise I'll be fine. I need you to go with the team. You've got to be my eyes and ears, okay?" She offers the best contact that she can,

"You've got to call me after every game and give me every single detail while I lie in bed and cough constantly."

Julie's jaw clenches with pent up tension. Reluctantly she nods, "Okay." Before Lissa can stand upright Julie tightens her hold on the woman's hand and looks directly into her eyes, "Promise me I can call you every night. Every single night."I need this, Lissa. I need this. Do not deny me this. I will stay here if you say no.

Her face softens as she leans into her, "Every single night. And every morning if you want."

Her eyes are imploring, "And when I ask you how you're doing you won't lie to me to make me feel better or tell me you're okay because you're afraid I'll play badly if I know the truth?"

That's a hard one to swal ow, but I'l do it, "Yes, ma'am. I'll be one hundred percent honest."

She hesitates, looking into Lissa's eyes for any hint of hesitation. Finding none, she nods, "Then you can stay."

Glad that fire is out, Lissa stands and looks around at the other girls, "I'm really sorry, guys."

Mandy speaks up, "Coach, don't apologize. Hell, you didn't want to get sick! We know you'd rather be on a road trip with us than lying in bed feeling like crap!"

Jackie comes to stand beside her, a comforting smile breaking across her face, "And you know we'd rather have you there. But that's the way the ball bounces. Just promise us that you'll get better so you can come with us on the next one, okay?" She laughs, "You can't get out of the good luck trick on every trip."

She rolls her eyes, "I am not painting my fingernails black. I don't care how much you think it's lucky."

"You're such a party pooper." Giving her a friendly, and light, punch on the arm, Jackie lets her off the hook, "Just get better and we'll call it even, okay?"

"Consider it done." She adds, "And I'll be watching the online broadcast of the games, too. So I'll see you even if you can't see me. And when you kick every opponent's ass, I'll be the first one to cheer, even if no sound actually comes out of my mouth."

"Will you at least come to the airport and see us off?" Dana asks.

I'm not going to feel like going but I can't say no. it's useless to try. Hel , I'l probably be lying awake in bed anyway, "I'll be there with bells on." The idea is not appealing, "Well, maybe not bells. Perhaps my pajamas."

No one misses the twinkle that sparks in Julie's eyes again, "What do you mean by pajamas? What exactly do they look like?" She breaks out her best heart-melting smile, "I'm going to need descriptive words."

No, I'm not fal ing for that one. I don't even own anything labeled with a designer's name, "I wear a tank top and boxers to bed, Whit, nothing sexy or racy or even remotely hot."

Julie challenges, "Why don't you wear it and let us decide?"

Jenny scoffs, "God, Whit, you're such a perv."

Not missing a beat and without turning to face her accuser, Julie retorts, "And you're a bitch. What's your point?"

"Enough," Lissa puts her hands up, "I'm not wearing my pajamas to the airport. I'll be dressed appropriately."

"God, please don't wear a polo shirt," Jackie groans.

Before she can defend the polo shirts, Jana speaks up, "Hey, I know what you could do, coach! You could make it up to us that you can't come by absolutely blowing us away with an outfit we'd never expect you to wear!"

Julie nods enthusiastically, "Yeah! You could do that! Come on!"

Loving the spirit of the team coming together for a common cause that doesn't involve making her feel horrible for not going with them, she agrees, "Okay. It's a date, then.

Tomorrow I will meet you at the airport wearing an outfit none of you would ever expect me to be in."

The team claps and cheers, but the entrance of Coach Allen quiets them quickly,

"What's that I heard?" He smiles at Lissa, "You're not going to wear a polo shirt?"

Jackie laughs, "That's sad. It's sad when your boss notices that you wear the same thing and hates it too."

Julie punches her arm, "Shut up. Nothing about her polo shirts is sad. He's just. .um, observant."

Jackie falls backwards laughing, "Right! He's observant!"

"Ignore her, coach," Julie says to Lissa. "She's just jealous that she can't make a polo shirt look good like you can."

Oh honey, I appreciate your half-ass attempt to make me feel better, "Whit, give it up. I know the polo's suck, but damn, I don't have the time to shop, much less wear something more complicated."

She can't stop the coughing fit and once it's over, Coach Allen wraps his arm around her waist. "Lissa, go home. We'll see you in the morning." He addresses the team, "Ladies, say goodbye to Coach Norman."

"I'll walk you to your car, coach," Julie jumps up and grabs the briefcase and purse before Lissa musters the energy to protest.

"Bye ladies," she attempts a smile, "I'll see you tomorrow morning. Get rest and don't forget your toothbrush."

Julie and Lissa exit the gym to a chorus of goodbyes from the team. Once outside Julie chews her bottom lip and tries to think of something helpful to say, "So, uh, are you going straight home?"

"Nah," she answers as she unlocks the car, "I've got to pick up a prescription." She opens the back door so Julie can load her briefcase onto the back seat, "Thanks. So you have my home number and cell, right?"

Julie takes her cell out of her back pocket, flips it open and pulls up the address book.

She turns the phone around so that Lissa can read it, "I've got all of your information right there. All of your addresses, phone numbers, and email." She claps the phone closed and grins, "I'll get you, trust me."Trust me. And I'l get you in more ways than one, too.

"Well," for some reason, she gets a little bashful, "then I guess I better go." She reaches out to take her purse, "Thank you for walking me out. It's really sweet of you, not to mention helpful."

"Eh," Julie waves my thanks off, "it was nothing." She chews her lip again, "So, what are you planning on wearing tomorrow morning?" This is clearly a ploy to get a mental image for later use.

She clicks her tongue as if to reprimand her, "No, I can't tell you that, missy. You have to wait with the rest of them."

Julie fakes a pout, "But I thought I was special."

"Oh, Julie, you are." She shoots her a winning, but weak smile, and gets into her car.

She cranks the car and before she backs out of the parking spot, she rolls the window down,

"But anticipation is good for the soul."

Lissa can hear the girl call as she pulls out of the parking lot, "But what about the rest of me?"She's bad. Very, very bad. And I think I like it.

* * *

"Do you see her yet?" Julie's been asking that since she arrived at the terminal shortly after 5 a.m.

Jackie yawns, "She said she'd be here. She'll be here."

Julie's leg jumps with nervous energy, "What time is it?"

Gretchen checks her watch, "Five twenty-eight, two minutes later than the last time you asked me."

Jana stands slowly, her mouth open, her eyes wide, "Oh my God."

Julie jumps up and looks in the same direction, "What?"

Jana can only point, "That's her. That's totally her."

Jackie squints at a figure down the way, "No, it's not."

Jana shoves her digital camera at the girl, "Try again."

Holding the camera up and using the zoom feature, Jackie's mouth falls open, "Oh my God," she hands the camera back to Jana and puts her hands on Julie's shoulders, "Julie, you need to sit down."

Panicked and confused, Julie asks, "What? Why? Where is she? Is that her?"Oh God, I think my heart's going to quit.

Jackie insists, "Julie, I'm going to ask you to sit down but if you don't, I'm going to make you sit down, because I amnotgoing to pick you up off the floor."

The figure gets closer and everyone can at least agree that it's a woman. As the woman gets even closer, Mandy gasps, "Oh hell!" Her face breaks out in a huge smile, "That's so her! Holy mother of God!"

Every single member of the team is rendered speechless as she makes her way towards them. Lissa spent over an hour getting ready this morning between coughing and sneezing fits. Her plan of laying out her outfit before she went to bed paid off when she woke up and almost cancelled on this little date. But now that she's here, she's feeling a little excited about seeing their reactions.

The outfit was carefully chosen in the few moments of lucidity she had before her meds kicked in last night. She chose skin tight, low cut jeans and paired it with her sexiest shirt. The slip of red sequins with no sleeves is only tied with a string in the back at the neck and around the waist. Bright red stilettos, dangly red earrings, and lipstick to match them complete the ensemble. Her hair is curly and wild. She resolved on the drive over that she won't tell them it's just a little more put together than it was when she woke up this morning. The nerves kick in a little more as she gets closer to them.

When she stops in front of them, she plants a hand on her hip and a smile on her face before greeting them all, "Good mornin', ladies." For a long while, no one says anything. They all stand mute, jaws open, eyes wide, and staring.Okay, someone say something! I'm about to freak out here.

Jackie finally speaks, but she's talking to the ceiling, "Please, God, let her play for our team."

Mandy finally speaks up as she circles the woman, "Coach, I never…" she shakes her head, "God! You look amazing! Jesus! Where have you been hiding those abs?"

Her face goes up in flames of embarrassment, "Under a polo shirt, apparently."

Jackie begs, "Please, please, coach, can I touch them? Please?"

A nervous laugh escapes before she answers, "Yes, Jackie."

Jackie reaches out and places her palm flat against Lissa's bare stomach, "Oh, God."

But Jackie's hand is cold and she reaches out to grab the girl's wrist with another laugh, "God! Your hand is freezing! And you're making me blush!"

"Seriously though," Jackie shakes her head in awe, "I cannot be held responsible for the naughty dreams about you that I'm going to be having all weekend."

Is there a deeper shade of red than the one on my face? "Oh please!"

Jackie shakes her head and walks away, but looks over her shoulder, "I ain't playin', coach. Good God damn!"

The other players take turns telling her how "great" and "sexy" she looks. Almost as if they're taking turns, they voice their compliment, hug her, and move to take their seats again, talking about "the outfit" amongst themselves. Soon she's left standing alone in front Julie, who hasn't uttered a word.

A little uneasy under Julie's unwavering gaze, she slowly walks towards her. The girl steps back until she bumps into her chair, forcing her knees to bend and causing her to fall into the seat. Lissa rushes forward, afraid she might have hurt herself, and reaches out to touch her, "Are you okay?"

Julie closes her eyes and puts her hands up to stop the woman, "Oh, God, please don't touch me."Sweet Jesus, please hold her back. I will take her right here and right now. I will.

God help me, I will.

"What?" In horror, she stops, "Why?"

She doesn't open her eyes, she merely whispers, "The outfit."

Lissa's shoulders droop and she sighs.I went a little too far to 'bring sexy back', "You don't like it."

"No," Julie begins, "I'm afraid I like it a little too much." Slowly her eyes open and she shakes her head from side to side, "Oh my God, what I could do…" her voice quits on her. She takes a deep breath and instantly apologizes, "I'm sorry, coach, I just," her voice trails off.

She inhales sharply, "Let me start over, okay?"

Her blood ran cold when she thought Julie didn't like it. And now that she's clarified what she's feeling, Lissa realizes that the same blood has ignited and liquid fire is rushing through her body. She smiles shakily, "Okay. Start over."

She stands ever so slowly. In jeans herself, she wipes her sweaty hands on her thighs before adjusting her backwards cap. Very slowly she steps forward and then around the woman, looking her up and down with every step, admiring the view.God damn, I could eat you alive, woman. Those arms. that stomach.. those long legs. you are so damn gorgeous.As she comes around to the front, she leans over and inhales deeply with her eyes closed. She breathes in the woman's ear, "You smell good enough to eat."

She comes to stand in front of her with a smirk. Her eyes drift upwards from the deep v-cut of Lissa's blouse up into her eyes, "I would have never dreamed you'd wear something like that. But I have to say," she very deliberately licks her lips, "I'm damn glad you're wearing it now." She maintains eye contact as she takes a finger and traces the line from the bottom of Lissa's shirt to the button of her jeans, leaving a blazing trail of heat on Lissa's skin, "Sorry," she apologizes, but doesn't move her hand from the waistband of the jeans, "but I wanted a feel myself."

Is she real y trying me like this? Doesn't she know it's been too long since someone's touched me or talked to me like that? If she's trying to make me think naughty thoughts, she's succeeded. There's a short list of things I want to do, but she's at the top.She counters, "Yeah? Well, fair is fair, right?" She reaches out, barely breathing, and lightly runs her fingertips up Julie's arm from wrist to shoulder.Ah, are those chill bumps, babygirl?She whispers with a soft moan, "I've wanted to do that since October." Lazily she allows a finger to trace the curved neckline of the tank top. She notices the tanned skin of Julie's collarbone and how it disappears under the fabric. Pulling out a sexy voice she didn't know she had, she leans into her and whispers, "So, do you think Jackie will be having the only naughty thoughts of me tonight?"

She watches Julie's mouth shape itself into a smile, "I'm sure there are plenty of my team members who will be dreaming about this outfit tonight. But I'm not one of them."

Lissa's eyebrows, with minds of their own, raise and Julie takes this as her cue to lean in and all but moan into the woman's ear, "I'm not waiting until tonight. I'm having thoughts right now. And I hope you're not mad at al the things I want to do to you."

Sweet Jesus in Heaven you better take her if you don't want me to keep her. Because I will, damn you! I will!Somewhere in the background Lissa is vaguely aware of a gate attendant announcing the boarding call for their flight. Julie acts as if she's got plenty of time and doesn't move.

"Really?" She asks innocently. Then, leaning forward, almost touching Julie's lips with her own, she whispers, "Keep dreaming, Whit. Maybe one day you'll get lucky." With that, she prepares turns to walk away.Ha! Take that, Miss Temptress!

Quick as lightening, Julie's arm is around her waist, pulling her back and holding her against her. She looks directly into Lissa's eyes, “Ah, Miss Norman, luck has nothing to do with it. And something tells me that I won't be the only one dreaming."You and both know the wetness in me is equaled by the wetness in you.Knowing the woman's watching her lips move, she licks them and makes a show of running her tongue along the edge of her teeth, "You can wear that again when you meet us here again on Monday."

"Oh," giving her best wicked smile, she purrs, "you mean you actually want me clothed Monday? I figured the next step was meeting you in the nude and covered in honey so that you could do what you wish with me." She pushes back and watches Julie's face.

The girl grabs her bag, throws the strap over her shoulder and turns one last time to Lissa, "Of course not." She begins backing away, "Didn't you hear? Anticipation is good for the soul."

Ah, there's that bite on the ass. I wondered when she'd get me back for that. Damn her, she's sexy as hel ! Ugh! What is in that cough syrup that has me al worked up?

* * *

When her phone rings hours later, it wakes her up. She answers with a very groggy, hoarse voice, "Hello?"

"Uh," the voice on the other end stammers, "Coach? Coach Norman?"

A sleepy grin spreads over her face when she recognizes the voice, "Yeah, it's me. Hi, honey. How was the flight?"

Julie giggles, "The flight was okay, I guess. We landed, that's the best part. Your voice is so different, I wasn't sure it was you. You sound like you're getting worse. Are you taking your medicine?"

"Of course I am. I don't have a death wish, you know. I just woke up. This is my morning voice, just the sick version." She tries to laugh but ends up coughing, "Sorry." Her chest feels a little less tight than it did before she passed out.Maybe that means the medicine is working.

Julie smiles, "Oh, it"s okay. That means the medicine is working." After a short pause, she asks, "So you went home and went back to bed?"

"Yep," she rolls onto her back and closes her eyes, trying to picture Julie standing in the airport talking to her on the phone, "I stripped naked, washed my face, and crawled in bed. I used up all my energy getting ready." She laughs out loud at her sudden openness,

"Clearly I'm not really that awake right now. Sorry if I'm giving you too much information here."

"I'm not," Julie quips. "So," her smile is almost audible, "does that mean you're talking to me naked?"

She's so cute, "You're quick, you know that?" She looks at the clock, "What time is it there?"

She fumbles for a second, checking her watch, "Almost 3. Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, I took some medicine and practically died. Did you get any rest on the plane?"

"No," she mumbles, "I, uh, couldn't get my mind to shut off. I had too many images going around in my head. Lots of red cloth and creamy skin, you know. Lips and arms and legs tangled in a heap on some soft sheets."

Even though she can't see, Lissa covers her face to hide the embarrassment, "Oh God, I'm sorry."

"Hell! I'm not!" Julie laughs, "Well, not totally. I mean, it'd help a lot if I could turn a daydream into a well-loved memory."

Her brazen response brings a giddy laugh out of nowhere, "Well, it was probably inappropriate, but I have to say that I loved seeing all of your expressions. Jackie about flipped, didn't she?"

"She couldn't stop talking about it for the entire flight! She's really upset no one got a picture. Over half the damn team has camera phones and not one of us got a picture! You know what that means, right?"

Oh no, what kind of monster have I made?"No, what does that mean?"

"It means you have to wear that outfit again. Maybe on one of our team nights we could go dancing or something. You could wear it then."Please say you will. Please. Even if it's a lie!

Be non-committal, Lissa, you're treading on some fragile ice here. Screw the ice, I'm feeling frisky,"Oh, I don't know. We'll see. That's really more of a private kind of outfit, you know? I have others, but they're not for everyone's eyes."

Oh hel yeah! That's even better!She laughs, "Oh really? What does someone have to do in order to see the private wardrobe?"

"You're impossible," she's enjoying the attention, "but I have to say it's boosting my self confidence."

She scoffs, "Well you should be plenty self confident. You're gorgeous, Lissa, you really are."

My voice softens, "Thank you, Julie."

Her voice matches Lissa's, "Do you think you're getting better? Do you feel any better?"

"Yeah, actual y, I do. I think the sleep did me some good."

"Great! Get some more rest, okay?" Jackie yells to the girl in the background and Julie sighs, "I have to go. We're heading to the arena for practice, I think."

"Okay."I don't want to get off the phone!"Thank you so much for calling me. And don't forget to call me after the game tonight, okay?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Hey, win it for me. Score like, forty points or something."

She jokes, "I'll see what I can do."

"Good enough. Have a good practice and kick some ass tonight." Lissa chews her bottom lip and wishes with all her might that she could watch in person.

She doesn't disappoint, "I'll be wishing you were here. But because you can't be, I'll make the broadcast something worth staying up to watch."

Tears come to her eyes and she can barely manage to speak, "Bye, Julie."

"Bye, Coach."

She lays the cell down on the nightstand and rolls over to cuddle her pillow. I half wish she hadn't ended by cal ing me "Coach".As her eyes slowly close, the image of Julie's stunned expression from this morning burns itself onto the back of her eyelids. Even though she misses the team and the tears she cries have no identifiable source, she falls asleep with Julie's face in her mind and a smile on her lips.

* * *

Her voice is going out, but she can't help herself. She's overflowing with energy, "It was so awesome! I couldn't believe it! I don't know if I've ever been more proud!" Over speakerphone, which Lissa hates, it seems like she can hear the smiles of her team from thousands of miles away, "I am so proud of each of you! Really. Congratulations! Now go get some sleep, get up early, catch that plane, play hard, and I want to be able to say the same thing to y'al tomorrow night, okay?"

"Okay, coach!" Jackie hollers back, "We'll do it if you'll wear that outfit to the next home game!"

The laugh that comes out is stuttering but semi-healthy, "If you win these next two games by eighty points like you did this one, I'll wear that damn outfit to every game from now until the end of the season!"

"Ah!" Jackie screams, "Oh my God, you're on!" Lissa can see her flailing her arms for support from the other girls, "We can do this. Did you hear that? Y'all, we could so do this!"

Julie laughs and turns the speakerphone off, "Hang on, coach." She rallies the troops,

"Alright, everyone out." They grumble and moan, but she insists, "Out!" She addresses Jackie, her roommate for the trip, "You too, out."

Jackie complains, "What?"

Julie stands firm and it takes everything Lissa has not to burst out laughing at the exchange, "Get out. You know you're just begging for a reason tonotkeep me company. Here's your reason. Give me at least half an hour."

The girl protests, but seems to be losing her fight, "But I'm tired. I don't want to sit up all night and giggle. I want to go to bed."

Julie's not falling for it, "Jackie, don't try to bullshit me. You can come back in no less than thirty minutes. That's al I'm asking."

"Fine. But don't ever doubt that I love you." Jackie speaks to a closed door, "I can't believe you're doing this, but I love you anyway, Whit!"

Julie picks the phone back up to her ear, "Hello?"

Lissa uncovers her mouth and laughs out loud, "I'm still here."

"So," Julie plops herself on her hotel bed, "how about that Julie Whitney? How many points did she end up scoring?"

Ohhh, too cute, girl. You are too cute, I'l play along, "I think it was like, forty-two or something outrageous like that."

"Forty-two? No! That's impossible! She'd have to be a basketball phenomenon or something!"And that ain't al I'm a phenom at!

"Well, she's good," Lissa adds with a deliberate pause, "at basketball, anyway."

She groans, "Oh. I bet she's good at a lot more than basketball. She's got big hands, you know."

"Ah," she picks, "but you know how I feel about big hands. I don't believe size that matters."

Oh but it helps, "So you believe it's the motion of the ocean, huh?

"Something like that." The smile on Lissa's face gets even bigger, "I'd prefer to think of myself as a mysterious puzzle to be solved as opposed to a big, turbulent ocean."

"Hmm," she pauses before replying, "Maybe I'll be the person who comes along and puts your pieces back together."

A little stunned, she replies thoughtfully, "Who knows? Maybe."

After a pregnant pause, she lets the woman off the hook, "So, how do you feel?"

"Right now? After my team won like that? I feel amazing!"Thank God I'm off the hook with that one!"And that's in spite of the fact that I spent seventy percent of the game hacking up my spleen!"

"Ew, that doesn't sound good."

"Actually the doctor said that the more I cough the better. Apparently it loosens that crap in my chest and that speeds healing. Besides, I don't think I actually use my spleen anyway."

"Oh," Julie concedes, "then hack away. Just don't lose something important, okay?"

"I'll try." Curious, she asks, "So, how do you feel about the game?"

She shrugs, "I feel okay. We took care of business. I was thinking about how you were feeling the whole time." Her voice changes a bit. She finishes sadly, "I wish you were here so we could take care of you. I feel bad knowing you're there all alone and sick."

"Hey, I'm a big girl. I'm taking care of myself just fine. I have everything I need. I have medicine and tissues and orange juice and plenty of movies to watch and a nice bed to rest in. I'm good to go."

There's another pause as Julie chews her lip, "Yeah but you don't have anyone to snuggle you."

"True. I'll have to work on that. Maybe I should get a Snuggie." Julie groans aloud and Lissa laughs, "I'm kidding. Besides, my sister's coming to visit tomorrow. She'll clean my house and do laundry and go to the store for me. It's the least she can do. I'm the reason she's getting away from her kids for two days!"

Julie chuckles, "Are you and your sister close? What's her name again?"

"Her name is Sherry."How much should I tel her?"Yeah, I guess we are close. We've got a few differences of opinion, but we're working on it, you know?"

"Yeah, I guess I'm lucky like that. Buddy worships the quicksand I walk on."

The girl laughs, but Lissa knows she's picturing her brother in her mind. Afraid she might get sentimental and homesick, Lissa slyly changes the subject, "Oh, watch out, you're quoting my favorite movie!"

She gasps, "Get out! That's my favorite, too! I love Steel Magnolias!"

Lissa offers, "You'll have to come over and watch it with me. But I warn you now, I quote almost every line."

"Oh my God! I do, too!" Julie laughs loudly, "Too weird, huh? We have the same favorite movie."

The grin on her face matures into a big smile, "Yeah, weird." There's a beep on the phone and Lissa checks the ID. She heaves a sigh, "Damn, I have to let you go. My mom is beeping in. Thank you for calling me. And don't forget to call me tomorrow."

"I won't," quickly she asks, "Can I call you in the morning?"

"Please do. It'll give me something to look forward to." Gently she adds, "Good night, Julie."

"G'night, Lissa."

She switches over to her mom who asks all of the usual "how do you feel" questions but she barely hears a word. Her mind is a thousand miles away with a girl in a hotel room who is thinking of her, too. Lissa spends the entire conversation wishing she'd ignored the beep.

* * *

The next two games are easy wins, too. The Eagles win by no less than sixty points each game. Every night Julie calls Lissa to talk about the game and every morning she calls to let her know how practice went. They chat about mundane things, mostly. Nothing too personal and yet, there are little bits of flirting.

Lissa gets her sister on the road and refills a prescription that's finally helping her heal. It's a slow but steady process. At least it's working. She told Julie on the phone this morning that she'd try to make it to the airport to greet them, but that she wasn't sure she'd make it. Little did Julie know, Lissa intends to bust Hell wide open to be there!

She's waiting at the gate thirty minutes before the plane is due. She paces back and forth, anxious for the team to get back. Lissa spent the last two days talking to her sister about the team and the new job, but mostly about Julie. It wasn't until last night that she realized she thinks about Julie an unusual amount. Sherry made the comment that she

'constantly' talks about her. Sherry wasn't being malicious, she was just pointing out something that was obvious to her and something that Lissa had been unaware of. .or something she's been ignoring. Sherry told her she should stop talking about the girl. She's never accepted that her sister has an affinity for the softer sex. She's got her husband and kids and she thinks that every woman should want the same thing. The problem is, no matter how hard Sherry tries, her life is not perfect. .with or without a man in it.

When the status of the team's plane changes to "Arrived", she's almost crawling out of her skin. She's been away from them too long. Rubbing her hands together anxiously, she manages to sit down for ten or fifteen minutes before jumping up again when the plane taxis into place. She watches as the door opens and the plane is connected to the walkway. Mere moments later, she can hear laughter and excited voices.My girls are home. Julie's home.

Jackie elbows Julie, who is standing behind her in the line to exit the plane, "You ready, stud?"

"Shut up, I'm not a stud. It's just coach." Julie tries to sound nonchalant but fails miserably.

"Right," Jackie taunts, "it's just coach."

Julie shoves the girl gently and laughs, "Shut up." As she walks to the gate, Julie unashamedly looks for Lissa's face. When she spots her in a huddle with other team members, she almost cries.Oh God, thank you. Thank you for bringing her here.

Jackie turns to her, "She looks like she feels better."

"Yeah," Julie sighs with relief, "she does."

They make eye contact and the smile on Lissa's face, that she thought couldn't get any bigger, spreads even wider, "Hey girl!"

Julie drops her bag and wraps her arms tightly around the woman, "Hey." She almost wants to cry, but manages to whisper, "God, I missed you." She inhales deeply and is overwhelmed by the warm feeling spreading through her body. She begins to rub her hand up and down Lissa's back, "You look like you feel better."

Lissa grins against her chest, "I do feel better, a lot better." When she looks up into her face, those blue eyes melt her all over again, "How does it feel to be back?"

Julie sighs, "Being back is alright. But having you here and better feels really good."

"Feels good to have y'all back, too."

Julie reluctantly lets go, "I thought you were going to wear that red outfit again."

"Remember the deal? Only if you won by eighty points every game." She winks, "The last two were by less than eighty." Then, to ease the blow, she adds, "But I have other outfits, you know."

Julie picks her bag up and throws it over her shoulder. Wrapping her arm around Lissa nonchalantly, she flashes a lop-sided grin, "So I hear! Do tell me all about them!"

She laughs out loud and shakes her head, "You're too much." She addresses the team,

"Well, y'all ready to load up?"

They groan and grumble, but they herd towards the door. Once outside, they begin cramming their luggage on board and load the bus one by one. Lissa watches and waits for each girl to get on board. Once they've all loaded, she climbs on board and calls for attention, "Ladies, your attention, please." When every eye is on her, she gives them all a big smile, "I just wanted to tell you again how damn proud I am of you. You did great! I couldn't possibly have asked for a better showing from you! Now go home, get some rest, do some homework, and I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning for practice." With wave, she exits the bus with a huge smile.

The vehicle barely pulls away before her phone starts ringing, "Hello?"

"Can I call you again tonight or was I just a weekend fling?"

Hel , I just shivered like winter bit my ass, "You're a big girl. If you want to call me, you can."

"See, now you're just teasing and tempting me." Julie smiles on her end of the line,

"But you're a big girl, too, and if you don't want to answer, you don't have to."

"What makes you think I won't answer?" She starts the car and notices that every muscle in her body is tense with expectation.

"I don't know. I guess because this was a sort of special circumstance. I mean," she clears her throat and lowers her voice, "I'd be calling tonight to hear your voice, not to update you."

"Well," she smirks, "I guess you're just going to have to take a chance and try me."

"Ah, okay. I see how it is. Well, I guess I'll try talk to you later."

"Hm," she jabs, "If you get lucky, Julie Whitney." Giggling, she coos sweetly, "Bye, darlin'," and hangs up the phone.Oh Lissa, Lissa, Lissa, you're flirting with fire, girl. I don't mind burning just a little longer, though.

* * *

When the phone rings around nine that night, she looks at the number on the ID. She counts the rings with a grin, "One." A few seconds later, "Two." Just after the fourth ring, she answers, "Hello?"

"Ah," she sighs with relief, "you answered."

Lissa giggles, "Yep. You got me on the phone. Now what are you going to do with me, Whit?"

Ohh lord, the answers to that are too ridiculous in number to even count!"You could start by telling me what you're wearing and I'll take it from there."

The can of Coke in her hand almost slips out when she laughs, "You're so funny! And I am not going to engage in phone sex with you."

"Damn," Julie mutters, "and I thought you cared about me!"

"I do care about you and that's why I'm not going to rot your brain with talk like that."

She settles her pillows, "So, you're calling to hear my voice and not to update me, right?"

Where's she going with this?"Right."

"Hm. Okay."

After a pause, Julie asks, "What are you thinking?"

"I'm wondering if there's something in particular you want to hear me say."

She inhales sharply, "Oooh, that's a loaded question that has no right answer."

"Yes there is a right answer. The truth is always the right answer." There is a pregnant pause and Lissa revels in it then asks, "Well? Is there something you want me to say?"

Julie ponders only a second, "Yeah. Tell me you could fall in love with me."

"Wow."That's a new slant.She takes a big gulp of Coke and responds, "I don't know if I should say that, Julie."

"I mean, if you were gay and single and interested in younger girls, why not? Would you be lying?" She sounds either disappointed or embarrassed.

Lissa chooses her words carefully, "Um, no. It wouldn't necessarily be a lie. I just don't know if I should spell something like that out."

"Is this that anticipation being good for the soul thing again?"

She laughs in an effort to ease the tension, "No. It's not that. It's more complicated than that."

"Then explain it to me. Because that's what I want you to say and if you aren't going to say it, I would like to know why."

She tries again to dodge the question, "Well, I don't know if I can explain it."

"Try."

"Julie, please don't do this."

"Just give me a yes or no answer to this, then." She pauses, "Could you fall in love with me?"

YES! YES! YES! But I can't tel you that, "I don't know, Julie."

Her voice breaks, "Is it me or you?" I will not cry, damn it.

"What do you mean?"

"If you can't fall in love with me, is it because there's something wrong with me or is it because there's something wrong with you?"

Oh God, please don't let me break her heart, "There's nothing wrong with either of us, Julie." Now her voice, taut with emotion, breaks a little, "And it's not a matter of not wanting to fal in love with you. And I'm not incapable of falling in love with you. I just don't think that Ishouldfall in love with you."

She scoffs, "Why not?"

"Julie," Lissa sighs, "you're a basketball player. I'm your assistant coach. You know as well as I do that it would be. ." her mind frantical y searches for a word, "questionable."

"No," her tone is forceful and strained, "it's not questionable. The question is could you fall in love with me. That's it. And I'd like an answer, please."

Wanting to redirect and buy some time, she turns the question around, "Could you fall in love with me?"

Now or never. You want her to be honest. .you owe her the same."I think it'd be harder for me to try not to fall in love with you."

Her answer, forthright and sure, is shocking, "Real y?"

"Of course. I wear my feelings on my sleeve, Lissa. You know I'm into you. And I think you feel the same. I just want to hear you say it."

There's a long pause and she knows what Julie wants to hear.But if I'm going to share information like this, I have to make sure we're on the same page. We must be discreet about the things we talk about and I have to know that I can trust her, "You know that our conversations can never go any further than the two of us, right?"

"Of course."

With a shaky breath, she answers, "If I were gay and single and liked younger women, then, yes, Julie, I could fall in love with you. Very easily."

The smile that spreads across her face can almost be heard, "See? That wasn't so hard, was it?"

Thank God she's back to her happy self!"Yeah, I guess it wasn't hard at all."

"Now tell me that you're naked and want me to come and keep you company."

Having put herself on the line despite her fear, her eyes fill with tears though she smiles, "Don't press your luck, Whit."

"Damn! And you were making such progress, Miss Norman. I really thought we'd made progress here."

She tries to laugh while wiping the tears that fal , "That's just like me. I go so far and then screw it up."

Is she crying? Oh, baby, don't cry!"Hey, I was kidding. Please don't be sad. I'm sorry I pressed you."

"Oh," she shakes her head, "no, it's fine. There's just so much bullshit in my history and this situation just reinforced those things. God, now I'm getting way personal!" She offers another, less revealing, option, "And the tears are probably a product of my being sick and on medication."

Not willing to let her out of the conversation so easily, Julie asks, "What do you mean?

Are you referring to past relationships?"

"Yeah. Something like that."

"Well, let me tell you something about me, then." She takes a breath and lets out a deep sigh, "You know I don't have a whole lot of relationship experience. And for all I know, you're the straightest arrow that ever flew through the dating pool. But I can tel you that it would be impossible for you to hurt me any more than any other person in my life."

"Is that because you wouldn't love me as deeply or invest everything you have in me?"

"Oh, shit, no! I didn't mean it that way. I meant that I've been hurt a lot and you are a total y different kind of person than any other human being in my experience. You have integrity and therefore you wouldn't hurt me to the core. Because of the way you are, not because of my investment or the lack of an investment on my part." She pauses, "Did that make any sense?"

"Yeah. It did." Lissa considers her feelings, "Julie, since we're being honest, can I tell you something?"

Gently, but eagerly she responds, "Of course."

Taking a deep breath, Lissa allows the tears to fall freely now, "I've only been in love once. And the relationship was so tainted with uncertainty and betrayal that I don't know if it even counts as 'love' anymore. So when or if I ever do fall in love with anyone, it could easily be considered my first."This breakdown has been a long time coming."And I am so scared of being hurt and hurting someone else. I could fall in love, Julie. God, I could fall so far and so hard. But I don't know if I'd get up at the end and be able to follow it through because I'd be so scared that the person wouldn't be there to help me heal the scars uncovered in the landing." Her shoulders literally shake with the release of emotion and for the first time in over three years, she doesn't hide the sounds of her crying. Instead, she lets all the pain and anger flow out with the tears.

Julie doesn't say anything for a while. When she speaks, it's gentle and caring, "Lissa, you are one of the most beautiful people I've ever met. And I can't imagine you falling for someone who doesn't want to stick around and catch you at the end of the ride." She swallows hard, "He'd be a damn fool, to be honest. And I don't know who you've fallen for before, this guy you had a relationship with, but he doesn't sound like the smartest dude in the world. As a matter of fact, from where I sit, knowing you're hurt and single now, he's pretty stupid. But I can't say I'm sorry for him."

She considers telling Julie she used the wrong pronoun, but decides that should wait for another day, "Why not?"

Always one to turn a tense situation around, she picks at the woman, "Because that frees you up for the rest of us!"

She laughs loudly and freely, but finishes with a cough, "Don't ever stop doing that."

"What?"

"Making me laugh." Longingly, she sighs, "You do it so well and I am so grateful for it. I can't even tell you how grateful I am."

"I promise." After a pause, she tentatively asks, "Lissa?"

"Yeah, Julie?" For no reason, her heart stutters at the sound of Julie saying her name.

"I," she starts and stops.Just do it.Then, building courage, she tries again, "I wanted to say that I really want to hold you right now. Because I know you're crying."

A warm feeling radiates through her whole body, "Me too, Julie. I probably shouldn't say that, but I wish that, too."

Fuck! Real y!? Oh my God!Eagerly, perhaps too eagerly, she blurts, "I can come over if you want me to. It would take me, like, ten minutes. I'll do it, I promise. You just say the word."Say it. Just say it. I swear I'l come to you.

Laughing hard, she almost drops the phone, "I appreciate it, Julie. And if I weren't sick, I might take you up on it. But I'm still contagious and I'll be damned if I'm going to make you sick."

She keeps things light, "Wel , just know that I'll do that. Any day and any time you need me, just call. I'm serious. No funny business, just a friend comforting a friend.

Okay?"Unless you want funny business. And then, I still can't guarantee funny, but I'l DAMN sure do the business!

"So we're friends?"

She chuckles low, from deep in her chest, "We could be friends with benefits if you'd like."

Ohhh benefits? Yes, indeed, there would be benefits."Let's just keep it at friends for now, okay, hot stuff?"

It's Julie's turn to chuckle, "Damn right, I'm hot! I didn't think you noticed!"

Taking a turn at making her blush for a change, Lissa groans, "Julie, it's very hard to not notice how hot you are. With those arms and those abs, goodness it makes me shiver just thinking about al the delicious things someone could do with you!"

The thud on the other end makes Lissa worry until she hears, "Shit!" Julie fumbles with the phone, "God damn! I'm sorry! I. .you made me drop the phone!" Breathlessly she asks, "Jesus, is it hot to you?"

Lissa practically cackles, "Damn, Whit, I really needed to laugh. You are so cute!"

Still flustered, Julie can only say, "Thank you."

Yawning from her emotional release, Lissa stretches, "Julie, honey, I'm sorry, but my meds make me sleepy and I think you might lose me any second."

"Hang on," Julie's temperature went through the roof and she's starting to sweat as a result. She pulls her tank top off and picks the phone back up, "Sorry, I had to take that shirt off! I'm seriously sweating!" She reluctantly agrees that the woman needs sleep, "I'll let you go. You should rest. But I've enjoyed talking to you. I really have."And now I need a fucking cold shower!

Wait. What? She's got. .did she just say she took off. . her. is she. . wait. What?When Julie asks if she's still there Lissa snaps to attention, "Oh, yeah, I'm here. I'm sorry."

Gulping, "I guess I got a little spacey or something. I've enjoyed talking to you, too, Julie.

I'm really glad I answered the phone tonight."

"I am, too. Think you'll answer if I call you again sometime?"

"Oh, I think the chances are favorable. Definitely." She giggles when Julie whoops,

"Good night, Julie."

"'Night, Lissa."

She claps the phone closed and leans against the headboard. She stares at the ceiling with a soft smile. Pulling the holder out of her hair and running her fingers through the strands, she recalls the way it felt to have Julie do those things. It's not the same. Dear God, what am I doing?Glancing at the phone in her hand, she mumbles regretfully, "Taking a shower and going to bed alone. That's what I'm doing."

Chapter 6

Friday, November 5

Julie saunters into the elaborately decorated dining room and instantly spots Jackie talking to Mandy and Stephanie. She gives a little nod and starts in their direction. She admires the table settings and decorations, all in the school colors. She takes an extra special interest in the details because they're all Lissa's doings.Great job, Coach. I wish I could congratulate properly. In private. Naked.

The new assistant coach had been put in charge of the entire event. She had complete control of everything except the seating arrangement. That task was taken up by Coach Allen because Lissa is too new to know where everyone should sit. "There's a certain finesse to doing those sorts of things," he'd told her, "and politics suck but we have to pucker anyway."

As she approaches her teammates Julie grins and points, "Is it just me, or do those flowers look like a woman's…" she blushes just a little, "more delicate parts?"

Jackie cracks up, "We were just talking about that! But weweren'tgoing to say

'delicate parts'."

"I like how she did everything in the school colors," Mandy comments.

"Yeah," Jackie points out, "but it's not over done, you know? It's just the right mixture of burgundy and cream, not too much, but just enough."

Julie nods, "Yep. She did a beautiful job."A beautiful woman who does a beautiful job.She looks around, "Where is she, anyway?"

Jackie whispers mischievously, "I heard she might be bringing a date!"

"Ooh," Mandy smiles.

God, please let that be a false rumor. I'm too young for you to break my heart.Julie's pulse quickens, "Where did you hear that?"

Jackie winks, "I didn't hear it. I was just watching your face for a reaction."

"One day," she shakes her fist playfully, "I'll get you back. Just wait!"Damn. Calm down, Whit.

"Well, hell, Whit, you said yourself that you're hooked!" Jackie reasons, "So I was looking to see if you could still drown in a little jealousy."

Even though she's blushing profusely, Julie punches the girl's arm, "And what is your conclusion?"

Mandy laughs, "Get real, Whit! You're so far gone I don't think a deep sea diver could save you!"

"Not even Lissa's own pair of the jaws of life," Jackie jabs.

Julie winces, "Bad joke, Baits. Horrible."

Stephanie, breaking her astonished silence, asks innocently, "Is Coach Norman gay?"

"Jury's still out on that one, Steph." Jackie pats Julie on the shoulder, "But if anyone could turn the woman's head, Whit can."

"I don't know if she'll turn her head my way," Julie smiles, "but I certainly wouldn't mind it!"And I'm damn sure trying!

Mandy motions to the door behind Jackie, "Well, tonight, she'll be the one turning heads."

The other girls turn to see Lissa standing inside the door. When Sherry came to visit, she brought along a dress that was two sizes too small for her. Lissa thought it was perfect for this occasion because it's burgundy. Sherry told her when she tried it on that she

"positively glowed." Lissa was too sick to care if she glowed or not right then. But now, she's worried it doesn't fit right. She spots the girls across the room and waves.

Jackie breathes, "Damn, she's somethin' else, isn't she?"

"No kidding," Mandy agrees.

"I love that dress," Stephanie adds.

Julie's heart, recovering from the previous shock of thinking Lissa would bring a date, has now completely quit on her. She feels a slight shudder in her tummy and her hand automatically goes to her waist. She swallows hard, "She's perfect."Dear God, it's me again, Julie Whitney. Hey, excel ent work, man. On behalf of every sexual fiber of my being, I would like to thank you for the masterpiece that is Lissa Norman. You've outdone yourself and you can retire. By the way, you should hire whoever designed that dress to do the angels'

robes in Heaven. Amen.

"Damn close, Whit. I have to say she's damn close to perfect," Jackie says as she steps past the stunned girl. "I'm going to go say hello." She turns, "You coming with me?"

"Fuck yeah."Try and stop me!

Several donors stop Lissa and she makes small talk. Then she spots Jackie and Julie heading her direction.Save me girls! Please!"Coach Norman?"Oh, thank God!Jackie apologizes to the other attendees, "I'm sorry, could we borrow the coach for a few moments? Thank you." She offers the woman her arm and pul s her away.

Lissa smiles and drapes her arm through Jackie's, "Hello, Jackie." She manages to control her breathing as she turns to Julie, "Hello, Julie."

"Hi." Her tone is subdued.Jesus, Whit! Would you fucking talk already? She's a chick in a dress! Wel . .okay, she's a woman in a dress. Wel she's more than a woman. .a lady?

That's it! She's just a lady in a dress!

A little disappointed with the lackluster response, Lissa panics a bit.She doesn't like my outfit. Maybe she's sick. Maybe she doesn't like her own outfit.

"If you don't mind my saying so, you look amazing tonight," Jackie remarks as she takes the woman to her assigned seat.

"Why thank you, Jackie."I'm now blushing, I can feel it, "I didn't know if this would be appropriate or not." She stands with her hand on the back of her assigned chair, feeling a little over dressed and out of place.

"Oh, it's. ." Jackie pauses and gives her coach a once-over, "absolutely delectable."

And this is when I change to a darker shade of red, "Thank you." She squeezes Jackie's hand before letting go and turning to Julie, "You're unusually quiet. Do you feel okay?"

Jackie speaks before Julie can answer, "I'm going to take my seat, Whit. We'll talk later, coach."

"Okay, Jackie. By the way, you look quite beautiful yourself."

The girl brushes her own shoulder, "Yes, I do, don't I? Thank you." She winks and walks away.

Lissa's attention turns back to Julie, "Well?"

"I-I'm fine," Julie stutters, "Really."

"What's wrong?"Something's wrong with you and I'm going to get it out of you!

"Well, I'm just a little thrown off. What would you say if I told you that you are, without a doubt,themost beautiful woman in this room?"And I want to take you home with me or go home with you. I want to share kisses we can't take back. Touches we won't forget.

And hours spent desperately trying to get enough of each other, to find that we've failed and have to try again tomorrow.

Without thinking, Lissa reaches out and touches her hand, "I'd say we need to get you a mirror." She laughs, "Thank you. That means a lot to me." If you keep smiling at me like that, you're going to make me melt."Let me get a good look at you. Turn around." She does a little turn and Lissa admires her pantsuit. Some people look so different when they get dressed up that sometimes you don't recognize them. But Julie's just a more polished version of herself. Her hair is pulled back tightly with a black ribbon and she's got on the slightest bit of lip gloss. Her eyes are brighter than ever with her hair pulled back.She wore flats, God love her!Lissa deliberately wore heels so that she'd be a little closer to Julie's height. "You look scrumptious," she gives the girl a smile and a wink.

Shocked, Julie leans in, "Scrumptious?"

"Yes. Is that okay?"And you smel as good as you taste, I bet.

Julie nods vehemently, "Oh, yeah! That's totally okay with me!"And if you want a sample, baby, al you got to do is ask. Just say please and I'm al yours.

Hm.. she didn't just ask if I planned on getting a taste. Maybe she's nervous. Maybe I should mention something about wanting to get a taste. No, Lissa, you can't do that. It'l just make matters worse.Lissa chooses to divert attention, "So, do you like the decorations?"

Ah, baby, you're blushing a bit.Wonder what's going through that pretty head of yours."Oh yeah, it's beautiful." She makes eye contact again, "You did a really good job, Coach."

She leans in and whispers, "Could you call me Lissa tonight?"

Julie whispers back, "I'd love to, Lissa."

I'm beaming, I know it."Thank you." When the lights flicker Lissa takes a deep breath,

"That means it's time to take your seat."

Julie smiles and winks, "I know."

"Could you help me with the chair?"And help me with peeing and walking and breathing in this damn dress?

"Of course," Julie grabs the chair and slides it out for her.

"Thank you."Damn, looked right up into those blue eyes again. I'm bound and determined to let those eyes suck me in!"This dress is a little too tight for me to do everything in it."

Julie smirks, "I'm sure you can do more with it off." Lissa's face blanches and Julie just fans the flames, "It looks beautiful, but not too functional, huh? If you need any help getting it off, I'm more than willing." She smiles as she takes the seat to Lissa's left.

"Oh, wait, Whit. It's not open seating."

"Could you call me Julie tonight?" She smiles and then places a hand over Lissa's, "And I know it's not open seating. This is my seat." She holds up the printed card with her name on it, "See?"

Her face brightens and gives the girl's hand a warm squeeze, "Oh! Well hello, table mate!"Oh thank God! Someone I know is at my table! Thank you Coach Al en!

Julie laughs, "Hello!"

"Excuse me, Lissa Norman?" An unfamiliar male voice interrupts them and Lissa turns in its direction.

"Yes?"

"I thought that was you!" The man offers his hand for a shake, "I'm Jeff Reynolds.

It's nice to meet you."

"Jeff!" She exclaims, "My goodness! I've been talking to you for what, two weeks now?

I'm so glad to finally get to meet you!"

I don't like his ass already. What the hel does he want?Julie clears her throat and then introduces herself, "Hi, Mr. Reynolds, I'm Julie Whitney. I'm the new point guard."

His face lights up, "Oh, I know who you are, Ms. Whitney! Very nice to meet you both!

What a lucky guy I am!" He addresses Lissa, "I have to say, Miss Norman, I've never really wondered what you look like. I mean, when we were making al the arrangements, it never crossed my mind. But, I have to be honest, you're absolutely the most beautiful woman in this room tonight."

Is this "How Many Shades of Red Can We Make Lissa Turn" Day? "Oh my! Wel , thank you, Jeff! You can cal me Lissa, though, really."

"Well, Lissa, I mean it, you are…" he shakes his head, “There are no words." He looks at Julie, "Can you think of a word, Julie?"

Julie thinks only a moment as Lissa turns to face her, "Yes." The intensity in her eyes stops Lissa's pulse cold, "How about exquisite?"

"Yes!" Jeff exclaims, "What she said! That's what you are!"

Oh, Julie, I could eat you alive.She blushes, "Well thank you both."

"May I have your attention?" Coach Allen calls the event to a start from the podium.

Jeff whispers, "It was nice to meet you, but I have to take my seat now. Perhaps we can talk later on?"

Hel no. I don't even want tobehere later. I'm not interested. But I must be nice.Always the gracious hostess, Lissa nods, "I'd like that."

"Later, then," he smiles and walks away.

After just a moment, Julie leans towards her. With her lips a mere breath away from Lissa's ear, she whispers, "Do you like him?"

Lissa turns to face her and is met with a sky blue stare. She whispers back, "Hell no!"

"Why not?" Julie asks, "He's kind of cute, right? I mean, for a boy."

But I don't want a boy."Yeah, I guess," she shrugs with a slight smile, "for a boy."

* * *

"While I'm sure you're all aware that these girls can play a little basketbal ," Coach Allen jokes, "we wanted to show you that at least one of them has a talent other than playing a little ball. Right now, I'd like for you to give a warm welcome to Beth. She's going to be singing for us." He motions to Beth, "Ladies and gentlemen, Beth Eddy."

Without warning, something in Julie clicks and she begins to cry. Wiping her face before anyone can see, she excuses herself from the table and makes her way to the side door, onto the balcony outside. She leans on the railing, head down, listening to the song as her tears fall.

Lissa watches her disappear through the doors.Should I go after her? Yes, yes I should.She stands and makes her way to the balcony. She steps through the door quietly and hears Julie sobbing.Oh, sweetheart, what's wrong? You're going to break my heart.Her voice is soft, "Are you okay?"

Julie nods, but makes no sound.Please, please just go.

I cal bullshit.Lissa frowns, "You don't have to be strong in front of me, you know. You can tell me that you're not okay."

Julie looks up and out at the view before them, "I'm fine, Lissa. Go back inside."

Lissa moves to lean against the railing beside the girl, "It's a beautiful song, huh?"

I knew that wouldn't work on you.The girl wipes her face again and nods, "Yeah it is.

I'm not one for country music that much, but it's one of my favorites."

Lissa smiles softly and reaches out to turn Julie's tear-streaked face to her, "Mine, too." She takes a deep breath when Julie's blue eyes finally meet her gaze, "I wanna be loved like that."And I want to love you like that.

You already are. .I just don't know how to tel you."Do you think you'll ever find someone to love you that way?"

"Oh yeah," Lissa nods, "I will. I just hope to God I recognize it when it comes along, you know?" She allows the girl to pull her face away again and her own eyes fall to the floor,

"I'm really good at having something good and letting it go over something stupid." She turns her back to the railing and props her elbows up, "I get into love a lot slower than most people.

And then I love so hard and so deep that," she sighs, "it's really easy for people to hurt me."

Julie smiles and gives a little laugh, "I'm that way, too. If I ever get attached, I'm total y attached. I'm in it one hundred and eighty percent."

Wow. I can't imagine someone loving me that much. That would make us even in the relationship. I wonder what that would feel like.Lissa nods with a grin, "We're a lot alike, huh?"

Julie turns, facing Lissa now, "Yeah, we are." Noticing the woman's hand, she gently takes it in hers, "That's a beautiful ring. Where did you get it?" She doesn't really care about the ring. She wants to hold the coach's hand and saw the ring as an excuse.

You don't fool me, Julie Whitney, you wanted to hold my hand. But I'm gonna let it go because. part of me wants you to hold it."Oh," Lissa smiles, "my dad gave it to me years and years ago. I'm a daddy's girl through and through."

Julie laughs at the sky, "God! I am, too! My dad would walk through fire and over coals for me."

"Over coals, even?" Lissa knows the girl's still holding her hand, and she enjoys the feeling. Mindlessly, they interlock their fingers and Julie's thumb is softly rubbing hers.

"Yeah," Julie smiles, "He's the best dad in the whole world, Lissa. And the really great thing about him is that he doesn't have to love me, you know? I'm not really his," she hangs her head, her eyes misting again, "but he loves me anyway, just as if I was his own."

Lissa removes her hand and places both of them on Julie's face, cupping it gently,

"Julie, I can't imagine a soul on Earth loving you any less than that. You're an amazing, beautiful person. You deserve to have the world at your fingertips. And I know that one day you're going to find someone to love you as strongly as you love them." She adds with a twinkle in her eyes, "And may the good Lord help you, because you two may never come out of the bedroom!"

Julie chuckles, "Sounds good to me!" She reaches up slowly, placing her right hand on top of Lissa's. Her eyes close, her breathing slows, and she exhales, "Can I just say that I've never met anyone like you?" Her eyes open, "Someone I feel so close to. I don't cry in front of people and yet, you've seen me cry a lot. And still, I don't feel as if I need to hide that from you…" she pauses, "emotions and feelings. I know that you won't hold them against me at the first opportunity."

Her heart swells, "Oh, Julie, you don't have to hide anything from me. Yeah, I'm your Coach, but more importantly, I want to be your friend."And if that's al I ever am, that's fine. But I real y, real y want to be more than that.

She takes the woman's hand from her face and brings it to her lips, kissing it gently,

"Thank you."

Lissa bites the inside of her lip and smiles as she takes a deep breath.Julie, Julie, Julie. You're going to make melt al over this terrace, "You're welcome."

"Do you" she smiles nervously, not sure if she should ask this question or not, "really think you could ever love someone like me? I mean, someone with a," she pauses again, "less than perfect past? Who might take a while to get attached and then may never let go?" She avoids eye contact until Lissa finally opens her mouth to speak.

"Yes," she smiles, "without hesitation, yes. And I pray that person doesn't give up on me before I find 'em."Hel , I think I'm wel on my way!

"Coach," Jayd whispers from the door, "it's almost time."

"Thanks, Jayd," Lissa smiles at Julie, "I have to go. But I'm so glad we got to talk."

"Me too," Julie smiles, "Maybe we can talk again."

"I'd love that, Julie." She nods, "I really would." She turns to go and winks at the girl before disappearing into the dining hal .

Julie turns away from the door and sighs into the night.I'm not going to give up on you, Lissa. I just hope you don't overlook me.

Chapter 7

Tuesday, November 23

Jackie smiles, "I like this," she looks around at the rest of the team, "We're all dressed up and the only coach here is Lissa. It really feels like a night with the girls, doesn't it?"

Julie smiles back, "Yeah, it does."

"The only problem is that we had to dress up." Jackie pulls at the collar of her turtleneck, "I hate this damn shirt."

"You look fine, Jackie." Julie laughs, "Stop fidgeting."

Lissa stands, causing all the girls to look at her, "Alright, I know it's corny and most of you won't like it much, but I'd like to go around the table and let everyone say what they're thankful for. This is, after all, Thanksgiving dinner." The girls groan and she chuckles,

"Alright, moan and groan all you want, but you're going to do it and you'll pretend to like it.

We'll start with Mandy and go around." She takes her seat and smiles at Mandy, "Go ahead.

Just tell us something you're thankful for."

Mandy clears her throat, "I'm thankful for my family who came to the kickoff dinner and surprised me."

Cindy's next, "I'm thankful for the new uniforms. The other ones were atrocious."

Jackie comments, "Amen." She looks around, "Oh, it's my turn. Um, I'm thankful for karaoke." She laughs with everyone else, "And we're going out after to do a little karaoke after and everyone has to come." She looks at Lissa, "And that meanseveryone."

"Oh," she can't help but smile, "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Jackie giggles, "Good."

Julie's next, "I'm thankful for all the possibilities in life. Possible friends to last a lifetime, a possible national championship, a possible chance to show the world how great a player I am," she laughs, "all the possibilities."

"I'm thankful for good food," Jana laughs.

Stephanie frowns, "Damn, you took mine, Jana!" She asks, "Do I have to think of another one?" Lissa nods and the girl pouts before smiling broadly, "I'm thankful for good drinks!" She takes a large gulp of her Pepsi, making everyone break out in giggles.

"Oh, lordie," Gayle sighs, "um, I'm thankful for clothes that fit!"

"Amen" Lissa laughs.

Jackie laughs, "That's my line, coach!"

"Sorry, Jackie," Lissa changes her statement, "Preach it, sistah!"

"That's better," Jackie smiles.

Beth licks her lips, "I'm thankful for flavored lip gloss."

"Oh my God," Lissa can't stop the outright laugh, "this is the most eclectic Thanksgiving list I've ever heard!"

“I'm thankful for sex!" Linda wiggles her eyebrows at the rest of the table.

Jackie pouts, "Damn, I should have said that one!"

"I'm surprised you didn't!" Linda exclaims.

Gretchen sighs, "I was gonna say sex, too. But I'll say that I'm thankful for new basketball shoes."

"How about sex in basketball shoes?" Julie laughs and raises her glass, "I'll drink to that one!"

"How about being thankful for great coaches?" Tammy grins.

"Aw," Lissa blushes, "Thank you, Tammy."

Jackie snorts, "She didn't say any names, Coach Norman."

Julie elbows the girl, "Shut up." Then she laughs loudly before saying to Lissa, "Feel free to make her do the dishes alone!"

It's Dana's turn and she hesitates a moment. Lissa gently prods, "You don't have to be deep, Dana, just pick one thing." She gives the girl a reassuring smile, knowing how hard this might be for her.

Dana clears her throat and smiles back, "Nah, I need to let everyone know." She addresses the table, "Um, about three weeks ago, my mom found out," she sighs and tries to stop the tears, "that she has breast cancer." She lets the admission sink in and then continues, "She's going through therapy, though, and so, what I'm thankful for is that they caught it early enough. She's really sick, but she's going to be fine."

Jackie, in a moment of seriousness, "I need to change mine, Coach. I'm thankful for Dana sharing that with us. And your mom's gonna be fine, D. I'm gonna pray every night and day, okay?"

The girl nods and smiles, "Thanks, Jackie."

After a moment's hesitation, Laura breaks the uneasy silence, "I'm thankful I'm not the one who has to have sex with Jackie."

Everyone laughs heartily, but Julie cackles loud and long at that, putting her head on the table, "I don't care who you are, that's funny right there!"

Jackie, not breaking a smile, retorts, "You will never be that lucky, Moran.Never. I was gonna bust a move on ya, but not now." She smiles in spite of herself, "Not now."

Laura pretends to be hurt, "Oh, no, don't tell me I just lost my chance!" She presses her hand to her forehead dramatically, "Oh, woe to me! I can never get a piece of Jackie Baits! I have ruined all my chances!" She leans over and puts her head on Dana's shoulder,

"Hold me."

Dana, in a rare moment of laughter, at least recently, wraps her arms around the girl,

"It's okay. We can't all be part of the chosenthousandsthat Jackie will have relations with."

I love these girls. I do.Lissa laughs, "Jenny, it's your turn."

Jenny bites her lip, "I'm thankful that Jackie's given up her only chance at Laura." She pretends to tackle Laura, "Now she's all mine!"

The whole team erupts in laughter when Laura screams, "I should have been thankful for pepper spray!"

Chapter 8

Tuesday, November 23

"Jackie!" Julie screams over the noise of the karaoke bar, "Did you rent out this place?"

Jackie nods, "Sort of. I told them we were coming and they kind of shut it down for us."

Julie nods, "Right on!" She's enjoyed watching her teammates singing. And then she did her own rendition of "Pretty Baby" which, in her opinion, really sucked.

Jackie steps on the stage and take the microphone, "Alright, ladies, welcome to the stage our next singer. Performing 'Fallin'' by Alicia Keys is the five eleven guard from the snooty state of Connecticut, Miss Mandy Halpin!"

Lissa claps with the rest of the girls as Mandy takes her place on the stage. The girl blushes profusely, "I'm not good at this, but Jackie said she'd kick my ass if I didn't sing, so here goes."

Jackie claps loudly when the girl starts singing, "Sing it, girl!"

Mandy does her best and when she's done, the girls show their love with whooping and hollering. Jackie takes the stage again, "Alright, it's my turn! So grab a partner, and get ready to bump and grind."

Julie, without thinking twice, grabs Lissa's hand, "Will you dance with me?"

The woman protests loudly, "I don't know, Julie, I don't dance well."

She pulls Lissa to her feet, "Come on, give it a chance."

"Oh," she sighs, "Alright. Just be gentle, okay?"

Whatever you want, baby."I wouldn't handle you any other way, coach." She pulls her into her arms as Jackie begins singing.

Without thinking about it very much, Lissa wraps her arms around Julie's neck and drops her head back. Their bodies are pressed together and she rather enjoys the feeling of having someone that close, especially the hot freshman guard who's quickly taking over her thoughts.

Julie watches the woman's face and smiles.You are so beautiful."Do you know this song?"

"Yeah," she smiles, "I know it." To prove it, she begins singing with Jackie, "I don't see nothin' wrong with a little bump and grind."

Julie starts nodding to the rhythm and smiles, "Sing it!"Bump and grind with me, then.

"I know just what you want. And I know just what you need, girl. So baby, bring your body to me. Bring your body here." Lissa finds it all absurd suddenly and stops singing to laugh, "I'm so horrible at this!"

"No you're not! You're doing just fine!" Julie turns the woman around and wraps her arms around Lissa's waist, singing in her ear, "I don't see nothin' wrong with a little bump and grind."

Chill bumps break out on her arms and she shivers slightly when Julie's breath brushes against her neck and ear.Just close your eyes, woman, and let go.She tries to relax and just enjoy the moment.

"You see, you need someone, someone like me. .yeah, to make love to you, baby, constantly," Julie whispers the words to the song. When Lissa's eyes close, Julie takes a deep, contented breath. She spends the rest of the song humming.

As the song winds down, she turns in Julie's arms to smile, "Thank you for the dance, Miss Whitney."

"No, Miss Norman," Julie bends and kisses her hand, causing Lissa's heart to do a little flip, "Thank you for the dance."

Once Jackie's done with her song, she taps the microphone to get everyone's attention, "We are done with the karaoke portion of the night. Now we're just gonna dance!"

She jumps from the stage and grabs an astonished Jana in her arms for a dance.

Lissa excuses herself, "I'll be right back."If you keep those blue eyes on me al night, Julie Whitney, I'l do something I shouldn't. I know it."But I'd like to have another dance later if you don't mind."

"Whenever you want, I'm all yours," Julie smiles.Whenever. Wherever. However. Any time.

"Thank you," she doesn't miss the innuendo. She turns and makes her way to the ladies' room.

Dana walks in as Lissa's washing her hands, "Hey, Coach."

"Hey, girl, how are you holding up?"

"This is fun. It's taking my mind off things." Dana smiles, "I just wanted to, uh, talk to you a second."

"Okay. Shoot."

Nervous, she shifts her weight from foot to foot, "Well, it's a touchy subject."

"No need to be nervous, you know you can talk to me about anything."

"I know, I know. I just," she starts, "want you to know that I haven't told anyone about. .you know."

Confused, she asks, "About what?"

"You being gay," she blurts.

"Oh!" She laughs, "Well, thank you for your discretion. I appreciate it."

"But I want you to know, too, that there are rumors going around that you are. I mean, no one on the team cares! They'd love that! But I wanted you to know, in case you heard some of the rumors that I didn't say a word and I won't until you do."

"I'm sure it'll come out soon," they both laugh at her choice of words, "or rather, I will. Until then, I'm going to enjoy myself and hope that I don't get into any trouble."There are a lot of things I want to get into. The first being Julie Whitney.

Dana laughs, "Well, if I see you heading down the wrong path, I'll stop you."

"Good!" She loops her arm in Dana's, "Let's get back out there and dance our asses off, shall we?"

"Hell yeah!"

Julie watches the two women walk out of the bathroom and smiles at Jackie, "She looks like she's doing okay with her mom and everything."

"Yeah. But it could be a front. Then again, if she's talking to Lissa about it, I'm sure coach is making sure she's facing facts and keeping herself together at the same time. Coach is just like that, you know? Lets you break down in front of her and then helps you stand tall in front of others."

"Yeah."I know that very wel ."She's amazing."

Jackie laughs, "God, damn, Whit, you gotta make a move fast! I can't stand this lovelorn shit!" She punches the girl on the arm and walks off, leaving Julie blushing.

Lissa approaches, singing, "Is your man on the floor? If he ain't, let me know."

She takes her cue and begins dancing. As Julie sings along, she takes artistic license and changes the line to fit herself, "I can definitely show you things that'll have you sayin' I can't be eighteen."

"You're the hottest thing that's in these streets," Lissa turns, rubbing her back against Julie, "so baby, won't you rock me?"

Julie runs her hands down Lissa's arms and back up, wishing the song wouldn't end.

When it does, she laughs, "Thank you for that!"God, I'm al worked up now!

"My pleasure," she takes a swig of her drink with a smile, "I haven't felt this good in a long time, I have to say."

"You've always felt fine to me!" The girl winks and laughs at the blush on Lissa's cheeks, "Aw, don't get al shy on me now! I was just getting to see the party girl in you!"

Jackie interrupts, "Hey, coach, you didn't sing!"

She nods, "You're right! And I'm not planning to!"

"Oh, come on!" Julie pleads, "Please? Just one?"

She vehemently shakes her head, "No! Seriously, I can't."

Jackie pulls her to the stage, "You have to! It's not fair if you don't. Everyone else did!"

"But I can't sing!"

Jackie shoves the song choices at her, "Were youherefor Jenny's version of „California Love"? Pick one."

"Oh, Jesus," she vaguely glances over the list, "You aresoasking for it." She tells the DJ, "Number 54, please. They asked for it."

Jackie goes to sit with Julie, "This oughta be good."

Julie giggles, "Oh yeah!"

Why in the world am I so nervous?She is grateful for the stool that's been left onstage when she begins to sing, "He drowns in his dreams, an exquisite extreme, I know.

He's as damned as he seems, but more Heaven than a heart could hold. And if I try to save him, my whole world would cave in. It just ain't right. Lord, it just ain't right."

Jackie, stunned, turns to Julie, "Damn, she's actually good!"

"Oh God," Julie moans, "I'm so in love!"Is there anything this woman can't do? She sighs. Yes. .fal in love with me.

The song picks up, and Lissa's voice goes with it, "Oh and I don't know, I don't know what he's after, but he's so beautiful. He's such a beautiful disaster." She begins to relax, the way her dad taught her years ago, "And if I could hold on through the tears and the laughter, Lord, would it be beautiful, or just a beautiful disaster?" The song picks up again and when she easily handles the high note everyone saw coming, they begin to cheer, "I'm longing for love and the logical, but he's only happy hysterical. I'm searching for some kind of miracle, waiting so long." The song's tempo comes back down, "I've waited so long."

She pauses with the music and closes her eyes, "He's soft to the touch. But frayed at the end, he breaks. He's never enough. And still he's more than I can take." Upon opening her eyes, her gaze falls on Julie, "Oh and I don't know. I don't know what he's after. But he's so beautiful. He's such a beautiful disaster. And if I could hold on through the tears and the laughter, would it be beautiful? Or just a beautiful disaster?" The song winds down, "He's beautiful. Lord, he's so beautiful. He's beautiful."

Everyone on the team jumps up and screams, leaving her blushing and giggling on stage.

Jackie steps up and takes the microphone, "Wow, and I thought Beth was the only singer we had on the team! That wasawesome!"

"Thank you," she says sheepishly. The music changes to another hip hop song as she takes the seat next to Julie, "I'm glad that's over!"

Julie shakes her head and takes the woman's hand, "You did great, Lissa, really. I am so impressed!"

"Well thank you," the shy smile is unstoppable, "I used to do a little singing in church when I was younger."

"Really?" Julie asks, astonished.

"Yeah, when I was a teenager. Then I realized," she stops and changes what she was going to say, "that I didn't want to sing in church anymore."

Julie nods, "Ah, too much pressure?"

"Something like that."Changing the subject!"Why aren't you dancing?"

"Because you need to rest before I sweep you off your feet again."

"Oh, how nice of you. That's so kind. Thanks for taking it easy on me!"

Julie nudges her, "I can be rough with you, too, but only if that's what you want."

Just then, Jackie pulls on Lissa's arm, "You're dancing with me, now, coach!"

"Okay, okay!" She manages to turn to Julie before walking away, "You wouldn't know what to do with me, Whit, if you had me in that position." She wraps her arms around Jackie's neck and grinds her hips against the girl to the beat of the music.

Julie watches the pair dance and is actually jealous.Oh, I think I have some idea.

* * *

"Ladies, I had such a great time," She smiles at the girls, "but it's two in the morning and I have to go to bed."

They protest a little, but Jackie speaks up, "Okay, be a party pooper if you have to.

Thanks for coming out with us. You'll have to come with us again some time. That's the only way we'll let you leave now, if you promise to come out with us again."

She pretends to be giving in, but is honored they want to spend that much time with her, "I promise, I promise. I will come out with you again."

Julie claps, "Good!" She takes the woman by the elbow, "I'll walk you out. It's dangerous to walk out alone at this hour." She tells everyone else, "I'll be back."

Jackie smiles and jabs, "Take your time, Whit."

Julie shoots the girl a look and then sticks her tongue out playfully.I'm gonna take as long as she lets me, trust me. Nevermind that I'l take whatever she'l give me, too.

Out at her car, Lissa turns to face the girl, "Thank you for walking me to my car, Julie."

"No problem." She smiles and shoves her hands into her pockets, "You're not too tired to drive home, are you?"Please don't go. Or.. take me with you.

"No," she shakes her head.You have me more awake than I have been in years, Julie Whitney. Al over."I should be fine, but thanks."

The girl nods and then slowly bends to kiss her cheek, "I had a great time."

Without thinking, she puts her hand over the spot Julie kissed and smiles, "I did, too."

Julie opens the car door for her and she takes her spot behind the wheel, "Julie?"

"Yes?"

She looks up into the girl's eyes.Ugh, I melt every damn time!"I didn't tell you earlier, but you look really good tonight."

Julie squats and is now just a little lower than eye level, "You do, too, Lissa."

Caught in the intimate moment, she can't stop the movement and something in the way Julie's looking at her says that she doesn't mind when the woman reaches out and strokes her cheek softly. There's so much she wants to say but all of it gets caught in her throat and she can only murmur, "Good night, Julie."

She takes the hand from her face and kisses the palm, "Good night, Lissa." She stands and shuts the door, then, as Lissa backs up, she turns, shoves her hands back into her pockets, and walks back to the bar.

Breathing heavily, Lissa drives home in a daze. When she brushes her teeth before crawling into bed, she smells Julie's perfume on her hand. Later, she smiles as she snuggles her pillow. Her eyes close and she drifts to sleep with the scent of Julie wrapped around her.

A few miles away, Julie col apses on her bed with a sigh. She stares at the ceiling and tries to remember the look on Lissa's face when she'd kissed her cheek. She closes her eyes and concentrates. Within moments and unintentionally, she falls asleep with a smile.

Chapter 9

Friday, December 3

She taps her fingers on the keys of the computer and mumbles, "Why is this so hard?"

She sighs and hangs her head, "What's another way to say, 'We appreciate the offer, but go to hell.'?"

"Do you always talk yourself?" The voice comes from the door to her office.

Her head jerks up, "Huh?" She smiles, "Oh, hey, Julie." Taking her hands off the keyboard, she groans, "Damn, I hate December in Georgia! It freezes my mind and my fingers." She shakes her hands to ease the stiffness and then, almost as an after-thought, asks, "What can I do for ya?"

Julie enters the office, dropping her bag inside the door, and takes a seat in front of the desk. Her long legs stretch out in front of her, her elbows rest comfortably on the arms of the chair, and her hands fall into her lap. She settles herself before shrugging, trying almost too hard to cover her nerves, "Do I need to have a reason to come and see my favorite coach?"

Lissa smirks, “No, I suppose that you don"t, but you"re not one to make a special trip to my office for no reason. I haven"t been around here long, but I didn"t just get here yesterday, you know.”

“Yeah, I know.” Julie seems a little distracted by the pictures on the desk behind Lissa, “Who"s that?” She points with her chin at a picture of Lissa and some other woman.

They"re snuggled up on a couch, looking quite cozy and happy.

Lissa spins her chair around, “Oh, that"s Tara.”Is she going to take this further? How much should I tel her?

“Who is she?”

Lissa tilts her head to the side, “A friend of mine from college.”

Julie nods slowly, her eyes meeting Lissa"s, “Your girlfriend?”

Lissa"s head tilt changes sides before she answers, “You think I"m gay?”

Julie shrugs, “There are rumors goin" around.”

"Are there?" She plays coy, "What kind of rumors?"

"That you're gay." Julie shifts in her seat a little, "Are you?"

Lissa"s breath catches. Coach Allen has previously told her that he doesn"t mind her revealing her sexuality to the girls. But only if directly asked. She never thought anyone would ever directly ask. She swallows hard before replying, “Would it change anything if I was?”

Julie nods, "Of course."Oh yeah, it would change a whole hel of a lot!

She doesn't bother hiding her shock, "What? Why?"

Julie leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees now, "It just would." She follows up with, "Not that it would change things for the worse. It would just change things."

"Well, um," she stumbles over words and turns her chair so that her knees are back under the desk.Why the hel am I sweating?Her left leg jumps up and down nervously,

"Maybe we should have a team meeting or something about this."

Julie stands slowly, "We don't need a meeting." She puts her hands on the desk, flattening her palms to the cool wood and leaning in close, "It's a very simple question. You just need to give me an answer." She pauses and slowly asks again, "Are you gay?"

Those eyes are going to be the death of me. What color blue is that? Shit, what do I say?"Julie I-"

Julie cuts her off gently, "Just. .answer the question."

She bites her lip a second before answering, "Yes, Julie. I'm gay."

Something resembling pleasure crosses Julie's face.You are so mine!"Since you spend so much time with the team, I assume that you're single."

The nervous laugh is louder than she wanted it to be, causing her to blurt, "Why? Are you asking me out, kid?"

Julie grins, "Why? Do you want me to ask you out?"

A little shiver runs its way down Lissa's spine, causing her to stand up. She rounds the corner of her desk and leans against it beside Julie, “Look, here"s the thing. I"m not that much older than you. Speaking quite honestly, I can tell you that Tara back there,” she points with her thumb over her shoulder, “was your age. And that was 2 years ago.” She laughs at a sudden realization, "I seem to have a habit of falling for younger women."

Julie looks up now, "There's nothing wrong with that. I mean, if you feel a connection, right?"

She nods, "Yes, I think it's fine if you feel that connection. Age is just a number to me. It's more important to me that you be mentally mature. The candles on your birthday cake just count down the number of years your body's been around. But it doesn't in any way represent how old your soul is."

"I agree one hundred percent."

"And I'm sorry for calling you a kid." She looks up and down the entire length of Julie's body, "You're hardly a kid." Without thinking, she bites her bottom lip.And God in Heaven knows I want to know every fucking curve of your body to prove it.

Julie blushes and shuffles her feet before looking up into the woman's eyes again. She murmurs, "No, I'm not a kid at al , actually."

I like that I can make you blush."So you'd date someone a lot younger than you?"

Julie chuckles and shakes her head, "Nah, but I'd date someone a few years older."

She curses the blush on her cheeks, "I see." Weighing her words carefully she asks,

"So I can assume you'll deliver this message in a way that won't make me sound like an old dyke, right?"

Julie seems to relax and smiles a lop-sided smile, "Well, I suppose that I could be persuaded to do that," she fakes a heavy sigh, "but I have to say, it'll be hard." She lightly elbows Lissa when the woman sighs, "Yeah, I got your back. Don't worry about it."

"What are you going to say?"

"Something like, 'Hey, everybody, coach is a dyke, but she's not old.'" Julie laughs at her own joke.

She can't help laughing, too, "That's about what I thought you might say."

Julie puts her arm around the woman's shoulders, "Hey, I'm glad you told me." When Lissa looks back up at her, she adds, "Really, I am. It's nice to know that someone in charge is a little more like me, ya know?"You are so beautiful. I want to tel you that, show you that.

Just once, God? Please?

Her shoulder burns under the young woman's touch, "Yeah, I know. And it's good to know I don't have to hide that part of me with you or the rest of the team."

"Yeah, I bet. But don't think you have to hide anything from us. You just be honest with us and we'll be honest with you, okay?" When Lissa nods, Julie reluctantly removes her arm, "I'm gonna get out of here. We have practice." She slings her book bag onto her shoulder. Just before walking through the door, she turns, "Hey coach?"

"Yeah?"

"You never did answer me."

Her face scrunches, "Answer you about what?"

Julie smiles slowly, "About whether or not you're single."

"Oh." She laughs, "Yeah, I am. It's been a little while, too. I think I've forgotten what it means to be in love."

Julie smiles shyly and shoves a hand into a pocket, "Nah, you haven't forgotten. I'm sure there's a little part of you that still remembers."

"Yeah, you're probably right." Curiosity gets the best of her and she decides to ask the question she's been struggling with for months, "So who are you dating?"

Julie leans against the door frame, "No one. I was seein' Jenny off and on during the summer, but she's too high maintenance." And I just think she's a fucking whore, too. but whatever.

Wow. There is no way I'd have put those two together!"Yeah, you two wouldn't be the perfect couple in my opinion."That must have been what was going on between the two for the last month or more. Jenny's too much of the sporty cheerleader type. Julie's an athlete al over.Her eyes scan Julie's long body leaning in the office door.And tan and soft and gorgeous al over, too.

"When I first came out I had a huge crush on a coach. Did you ever get to meet Coach P, my high school coach? She's the assistant coach you replaced."

"I didn't know her when she coached you. But I knew her briefly at my last place of employment. And I don't want to burst your bubble, but she isn't gay."

Julie grunts, "Yeah. Of course she isn't."Denial party of one. More like. thousands.

"You don't believe me," she pretends to be hurt.

Tread softly, Whit.She chooses her words carefully, "Let's just say that I have reason to believe that what you're saying is not entirely true."

She's only mildly shocked that Julie knows Mary Pennit is gay. "So you had a crush on your coach?"

"Yeah, a huge crush."Bigger than life. Anyone's life.

"What was it about her?"The woman is homely as hel ! What do women see in her?

Julie thinks a moment, "I guess it was how she treated me. She had this way of making me feel very special, kind of like I was the only person in the room. And now that I think about it, every time she made me feel like that, I was the only other person in the room."

A hearty laugh escapes, "Well you are very special. Don't ever think differently. And I'm not just saying that because you're the only other person in here. I'd say it in a crowd if I had to." She smiles warmly, "I know I haven't been here long, but I've been around long enough to know that if you're this much of a leader as a freshman, you're gonna be a top-notch senior."

Flattery will get you everywhere, baby..watch it. A blush creeps up on Julie's face again, "Eh, you're just saying that so I won't call you old."

Lissa scoffs, "I don't care what you call me. We both know I'm not too old to whip your ass."

Julie steps forward, dropping her bag back on the floor, "You sure about that?"

Standing up to her, Lissa pushes back her shoulders and her chest forward, "You want to take this outside?"

Not one to back down, Julie counters, "Oh, I want to take something, alright, but I don't think you want me to do that outside."There it is! That little flicker of fire.

Her face, mere inches from Julie's, is tingling from the electricity in the room. Their eyes are locked in a moment that is tense with expectation, wonder, attraction, and need.

Her heart is pounding in her ears and she's sure Julie can hear it, but she doesn't care. Just then, her phone rings. The women separate like they'd been caught doing something they shouldn't be doing. Julie turns to go and just before she leaves the room, Lissa calls after her, "Hey Whit. Remember that you can't take what I'd willingly give you, baby." She smiles at the shocked expression on Julie's face, "Have a good practice, Julie."

Lissa answers the phone as Julie slips out the door with her mouth hanging open and her mind buzzing.Fuck.A slow, devilish grin slides onto her face as she makes her way to the locker room.She's mine. Al mine.

Chapter 10

Saturday, December 11

The team is assembled and stretching for the beginning of the fifteen mile Race for the Cure Marathon in Savannah, Georgia. It's a rather cool day in December, so they're all warming up for the run. Their participation was Lissa's idea, to support breast cancer awareness and a cure for the disease. Having a team member whose mother is currently undergoing treatment for the disease helps to rid the team of any qualms about the weather or the fact that they had to leave Chestnut at four in the morning to make the 9:30am start time.

Lissa gathers the girls, "Now, listen, I know that some of you aren't long-distance runners. God knows I'm not! But do your best and if you have to walk fourteen of the fifteen miles, then by all means, do it. We're here not to win a marathon, but to finish. That's the point, finishing. Show some class, give Dana as much support as you can, and know that every step you take is for a worthy cause, ok?" She eyes the players, who all nod in agreement, "Put your hands in here," she lays her hand out in the middle of the huddle, and the girls add theirs on top in turn, "On ..one. .two. .three!"

Everyone yells, "Go Eagles!"

Four miles into the run, Julie looks around and sees some of her team mates struggling with the pace. She smiles to herself; she's not feeling any kind of strain at this point. And now, since she seems to be running alone, she's got plenty of time to think.

She imagines how she'd feel if her mother were diagnosed with cancer. How would that affect her family? Would they want her to come back home? She stops thinking about that as soon as the image of her brother floats through her mind. It depresses her to think of how hurt and anguished he'd be.

She decides to think about happier things. She imagines she's running a race for a prize. Perhaps she wouldn't have to actually come in first to win it. .just finishing would guarantee that she could have any one thing she wanted. What would she want? What wish would she ask to be granted? She smirks; she'd want to have one night with Lissa. She almost laughs at the thought. .no, she'd want a lifetime.

Ahead of Julie is a woman named Martha. The team met with her before the run.

Martha is a huge fan of the Eagles and it was a real treat making a dream of hers come true-to meet the team she's convinced is going to win it all this year. Julie smiles to herself as she admires the woman's courage. Martha is 45 and has been living with cancer for more than half of her life. But, according to her husband and three children, she never loses hope that they're going to find a cure soon. When Julie asked her what keeps her going, she simply said, "I live every day like it's the last one. I tell everyone I love them, do one thing every day that I haven't done, and go to bed with no regrets. And if I wake up in the morning, I do it al again that day!"

Somewhere in Julie's mind. .way back in the back.. she chastises herself. She's been living with this unspoken admiration for Lissa. These, feelings she can't put words to. And yet, Lissa has no idea how deeply she's touched Julie. Dana's mom, Carol, told her earlier,

"Julie, I've learned one thing from this disease. Life is too short."

She sets her jaw and makes up her mind. She's going to tell Lissa. Just as soon as she finds a good time, she's going to confess what she feels. And if the woman feels the same, they can move on from there. If not, at least she will not have let another day go by without telling her what she feels. Life is too short.

Eleven miles later, with one mile to go, Julie's feeling the burn in her thighs and calves.

But she doesn't let up. She looks around again and notices that she's really al alone. There's no one ahead and no one behind her. She wonders who won the race. She almost laughs at herself with the thought that maybe she'll come in third or, at least, in the top ten. She's never been really good at running, but she's surprised herself this particular day.

With half of a mile to go, someone yells at her, "You're first!" She stares at them as she passes by and gives them a little wave.

Her head spins.I'm first? Surely not. I can't be. Can I? She looks around again and still sees no other runners in front or behind her. Suddenly, the burn is gone and she picks up her pace.

The last quarter mile of the race is a blur of smiling faces, cheering crowds, and disbelief. When she sees the finish line, she's shocked to see the yellow tape still flapping in the breeze. She puts her head down and sprints the last little bit. When she crosses the finish line, she throws her hands up and the smile on her face couldn't possibly get bigger.

The next few people through the line are cancer survivors who, amazingly, congratulate her on finishing. Julie has to stop herself from congratulating them on simply surviving.

A couple of hours later, the entire team is at the finish line to welcome Dana, her mother, and a very exhausted Lissa.

With a gasp, Lissa crosses the line and collapses. Julie and the other girls rush to her side.

"Coach!" Jackie yells as she kneels down beside the woman, "Are you okay?"

Julie takes Lissa's head and cradles it in her lap, "Lissa? Coach? Talk to me."

Her eyes are closed and her breathing is heavy. A medic makes his way to the huddle and kneels down, "Is she breathing?"

"Yeah," Julie says in a panic, "Coach, talk to me. Please." Her eyes are beginning to water, "Please talk to me."

In a raspy voice, she answers, "Water."

The medic gently squeezes some water into her mouth, "That's good that she's drinking." He hands the water bottle to Julie, "Keep putting water in her mouth until she tells you to stop." He checks the woman's airway and pulse. Then he has Jackie elevate her feet,

"Just sit with them in your lap." Someone else, a survivor, collapses just before the finish line and he leaves to tend to her, "I'll be right back, but cal me if she starts vomiting or gets to where she can't breathe."

"Okay," Julie responds, but never takes her eyes off Lissa's face. Softly she whispers as she pours water, "Just open your eyes for me, Lissa." Her voice is pleading, "Please open your eyes."

Softly, Lissa's answer comes, "I can't," she turns her head and squints, "the sun is in my eyes."

Relieved, Julie begins to cry, "Oh, thank God." She wipes her face with her free hand and gives her more water, "Just drink, you don't have to do anything else, just drink."

Within an hour, she's very embarrassed but sitting up and drinking on her own. She hangs her head and speaks very softly to Julie, "I feel so stupid."

"What?" Julie leans forward, getting closer, "Why?"

"I fell out. Most of these people are on chemotherapy and they made it without passing out! I'm not completely out of shape, I should have done better."

"Oh, don't even go there, Liss."

She looks up at the girl with a shy smile, "My dad calls me that."

"Oh, sorry," Julie hangs her head a little.

"No," she reaches out and puts a hand over Julie's, "I like it."

They share a look and bashful smiles before Jackie comes running up and exclaims to Julie, "You won the damn thing?"

"What?" Julie looks up into Jackie's face, "Oh, yeah. I came in first."

Lissa jumps to her feet, "You won!"

Julie stands, "Well, uh, yeah?"

"Oh my God!" She throws her arms around Julie, "I'm so proud of you!"

Julie hugs back in a little bit of a shock, "Thanks."

Jackie pats her on the back, "Congrats, Whit!"

The other team members come by and offer their congratulations as well. When it's time, they al make their way to the stage for the awards ceremony. Julie is announced as the winner and is completely red-faced when she steps on stage to receive her medal. When the presenter hands her an oversized piece of cardboard, a check, she gives him a confused look.

She glances at the amount and her mouth drops open, "Five thousand dollars!"

Jackie screams her head off, "We aresogoing shopping!"

Suddenly Julie gets a little choked up. The presenter asks her what she plans on doing with the money and she gives a weak smile, "Well, I'm going to use some of it to fly home for Christmas. I didn't think I'd get to go, but now I can." She takes a deep breath and adds,

"And this year, everyone's getting a great Christmas present!" The crowd cheers for her and she basks in the glow for only a few moments before stepping off stage and into the arms of her team.

"Whit!" Jackie yells over the crowd, "You can get Buddy that chemistry set he wants!"

Julie grins, "Yeah, I can."

Lissa wraps an arm around Julie's waist, "Congratulations, Julie. I can't think of a single person more deserving." As she puts something in Julie's hand, she takes the cardboard check from her, "Use that," she says, when Julie holds up the cell phone, "and call your family. I know you're dying to tell them."

Julie throws her arms around the woman's neck and, without a thought, kisses her on the cheek, "Thank you!" She walks a little distance from the hustle and bustle of the finish line and dials home.

"Hello?" Her father's voice instantly makes her homesick.

"Daddy!"

"Hey, baby!"

"Daddy! I won! I won the Race for the Cure! And they gave me five thousand dollars!

I'm coming home for Christmas!" Chill bumps break out all over her body when she hears her father crying softly. Then she hears her mother in the background.

"Ricky, what's wrong?"

Her father hands the phone over, he can't speak. Baffled, Hannah Whitney says,

"Hello?"

"Mama!"

"Julie, baby, what's wrong?" She's worried that something horrible has happened and her pulse quickens.

"Nothing bad, Mama. I won the Race for the Cure and the prize was five thousand dollars and I'm using it to buy Buddy that chemistry set and I'm going to come home for Christmas!" Tears and words tumble together and Julie can't hold back the emotion any longer, "I miss y'all so much, Mama."

Her mother begins to cry happy tears, "Oh, baby, that's so wonderful! I can't wait! I'll call granny tonight and everyone else! My baby's coming home!"

"Can I talk to Buddy, Mama?" She wipes her face with the dry edge of her tank top.

"Sure, honey. Hang on." She hears her mother call for Mark and Julie anxiously waits for him to pick up.

"H'llo?"

"Hey Buddy!"

"Julie!" His voice brings the tears back.

Oh God, I miss you so much. Sheimagines him with dirt on the knees of his jeans and chocolate ice cream stains on his shirt. "Hey, little man! What do you think about me coming home for Christmas?"

"But I didn't think you were going to."

"What if I told you that I just won a race and they gave me a bunch of money as the prize?" She smiles, waiting for his reaction.

He pauses, "Well," he thinks, "I guess then you should come home! You can play with me and Robert! We're going to the zoo on Christmas Eve to see the lights. Do you want to go with us? I know you can. I'll just call Robert's mom and ask. That'll be okay," he turns to his mother, "Won't it, Mama?"

Julie laughs, "I'd love to go to the zoo, Buddy. And I'm sure it'll be fine."

"When are you going to come? Will you be here by six on Christmas Eve? We're leaving at six. We can't be late because Robert's mom says that traffic will be a bitch if we leave later."

Julie bursts out laughing when she hears her mother in the background, "Mark!" The woman scolds the boy, "Don't talk like that!" Then Hannah and Ricky both begin laughing.

"Buddy," Julie chuckles, "I miss you so much. I'll make sure I'm there by six, I promise."

"Okay. Good. You want to talk to Mama again? I'm going to go see if your room is ready. Mama says she'll probably have to change the sheets on your bed, but I think they're fine. I haven't jumped on your bed in a long, long time."

She laughs again, "I'll talk to Mama again, sure. I love you, Booger."

"Love you too, Bigger Booger."

The next sound she hears is the phone clanging on the kitchen table and Mark yel ing for his mother. "Goodness, he's a mess," her mother's voice sounds more stable now.

"Yes, he is. But he's his daddy's boy."

"You got that right!" Her mom laughs, "Oh, I can't wait for you to come home, Julie!

Are you tan yet?"

"No," Julie sighs, "they keep us inside too much for me to see any sun."

"Oh, well we'll fix that," she laughs.

"I have to go Mama. I'll cal you later on and let you know which flight I'm going to take and everything. Can you come get me at the airport?"

"Well of course!"

"Good! That's a long walk!" Julie laughs, "I love you. And tell daddy I love him, too."

"We love you, Julie. Bye-bye."

"Bye." Julie hangs up the phone with a smile. When she turns around, she finds Lissa leaning against a tree nearby. She saunters towards the woman with a sly grin,

"Eavesdropping, were you?"

She smiles but tries to act innocent, "No. I don't have to eavesdrop. My phone automatically records every conversation." She takes the phone from Julie and turns to walk away, "I'll just listen to it later."

Julie grabs her arm, "Lissa?"

"Yeah?"

"I-" she takes a deep breath and tries to utter the words, but nothing comes. She can only stare into the woman's captivating eyes, "I'm really glad you're okay." Instantly she feels like a chicken for not going through with her confession.

"Thanks." Lissa smiles, "Ready to go?"

Julie nods, "Yeah."

The team drives back to Savannah and arrives at the gym parking lot late. As they unload, Lissa waves goodbye to each of them. When it occurs to her that Julie hasn't gotten off, she gets back on the bus, "Julie," she calls softly. When she receives no answer, she walks down the aisle, checking every seat. On the very back seat, Lissa finds her sleeping.

She reaches down and brushes hair out of Julie's face.She is so, so beautiful.A finger traces the girl's lips, which are parted slightly. The older woman swallows hard when she thinks about what they might feel like against her own. She leans down and whispers, "Julie. .honey, you have to wake up." The girl stirs a little and she tries again, "Julie, come on, wake up.

We're home."

Groggily, Julie speaks, "Huh?" She moves a little and opens her eyes, "What?"

She smiles and takes the girl's hand, "We're home. You've got to get up now."

"Oh," she sighs and sits up, "I guess I just passed out." She wipes the sleep out of her eyes and smiles drowsily up at Lissa, "I look better in the morning when I wake up, I promise." She smoothes her shirt and tries to make her hair look presentable.

"You look perfectly fine to me."Beautiful. Amazing. Sexy. Gorgeous. Edible.

"Thanks," Julie stands and grabs her bag, "Jackie didn't leave me, did she?"

"No, I don't think so. But if she did, I'll give you a ride home." Lissa exits the bus and grabs her own bag off the ground.

When she steps off the bus, Julie half hopes that Jackie left her, but when she looks around, she recognizes Jackie's car and then sees a group of girls standing around Mandy's car. She points, "There she is," almost sadly, "I guess she didn't leave me."

Lissa playfully pats the girl on the shoulder, "Well I guess I'll have to give you a ride some other time."

Julie perks up, "You ride me, I ride you, it doesn't matter to me. You just tell me when!"

"Oh," she chuckles as she walks to her car, "You're too much, Whit! I'll see you Monday!"

Left alone, Julie watches Lissa's car disappear into the traffic. When she crawls into her bed later, she contemplates what she's going to get everyone for Christmas.This means I can get Lissa a Christmas present! And I know just what I'm going to get her!She falls asleep with a smile on her face.

Chapter 11

Thursday, December 16

The Eagles win the last game of 2004 and they're mighty happy about it. At the end of the game the guys in the press box put on music as the spectators file out. Once the team has showered, they come out of the locker room and gather on the court for a team meeting before dispersing for their Christmas break. It doesn't take long before Jackie gets the girls dancing. The last people to come to the court are the coaches.

Lissa laughs as she surveys the grinding and shimmying on the court. The girls smile back as she walks in circles around the mesh of dancing bodies. Julie's hand comes out of nowhere and grabs her wrist, pulling the woman into the middle of the crowd, "Dance with me!" She wraps her arm around the woman's waist and holds her tight.

Dressed in a pair of tight, low riding jeans, a fitted sweater that matches her eyes, and a pair of brown boots, Julie is very happy Lissa's not wearing the regular outfit everyone's come to hate. The woman's hair is down, falling loose on her shoulders. She smells like shampoo and some sort of soft perfume. Julie inhales deeply when she bends to put her face close to Lissa's. They share a smile and then Lissa turns her back to Julie, putting her arms up. Julie takes this opportunity to wrap her arm around Lissa's waist and puts her palm flat against the woman's stomach. They grind together to the beat of the music, their breath slowly becoming heavier.

Julie's mouth brushes Lissa's ear and the girl can feel the shiver. She smiles and whispers, "You feel so good."

With her eyes closed, Lissa whispers, "You do, too."

"I can't get close enough." She pulls the woman tighter.

Lissa turns and faces Julie again. Sliding an arm around Julie's neck, she doesn't miss the fact that the girl's thigh has worked its way between her own.I should stop, but I don't want to stop.So she lets all her reservations go and begins to really grind against the girl.

She takes a moment to get a good look at Julie so she can burn this memory in her head.

Her top is a skin tight, short sleeved, black t-shirt. Her jeans are tight; by Julie's standards they're tight, anyway. She's sporting her trademark brown boots, too. Her hair, smelling like flowers Lissa can't identify, is pulled back in a ponytail. Their grinding has worked that t-shirt up, showing off a little of the young woman's toned abs. When Lissa gets a glimpse of the undulating muscles, she has to bite her lip to stop her hands from stroking them. The song ends as Lissa pulls Julie's head down, "If you don't mind my saying so, Miss Julie, you're quite hot."

Julie lowers her lips to the woman's ear, "Well if I'm hot, it's all your fault. The way you're grinding on me is making me want to unwrap a different type of present on Christmas morning, if you get my drift." She pulls her head back to gauge Lissa's reaction.

The song ends, but they don't separate. Those blue eyes catch her breath again but she manages, "I get your drift."I should be appal ed. I should storm off the court and reprimand Julie for making a suggestive comment of that nature to a coach.But she doesn't do any of that. Her body won't let her. It chooses, instead, to wrap itself around Julie's body for the next song which is a slow, sultry mix.

Julie takes this chance to let her hands to roam over Lissa's body. Her hands mold to the contours of the woman's sides and back. When the woman presses closer, Julie exhales a breath of appreciation in return.

Lissa's mind has long since abandoned any notion of ending this dance with Julie. Any regrets or second thoughts deserted her brain when Julie's hands began caressing her.

When the next song begins, even slower and more seductive than the last, Lissa pulls back to look into Julie's eyes. Having completely forgotten that they aren't alone, she reaches up and stroke Julie's cheek.

Julie's eyes close at the touch and yet, her heart opens wide to the show of affection.

When Lissa's fingers trace her jaw line, her mouth opens slightly and her head drops back just a little. She can feel Lissa's warm breath on her chest through the thin t-shirt. With every breath Lissa exhales, Julie's skin breaks out in chill bumps.

I'm leaning too close, but I don't care. I can't get close enough.She leans in a little further, until her lips are mere millimeters away from making contact with the girl's t-shirt.

She takes a deep breath in; breathing the scent of Julie like it's a drug to which she's addicted. Her mind swirls with thoughts of taking the girl home and being the reason she misses her flight home.

When the song ends, Julie almost screams for them to play it again. But the guys don't disappoint her. They begin playing yet another song like the last. At some point, Julie realizes, the guys upstairs dimmed the lights, creating little spots of darkness on the court.

She notices, too, that she and Lissa seem to be in one of them. She smiles to herself and then looks down into Lissa's face.

Not quite sure why, Lissa happens to look up right around the time Julie looks down.

She has to bite her lip to keep from kissing the girl. But inside her head, she's begging for Julie to take the first step. Julie reaches out and strokes Lissa's cheek ever so softly. The tenderness there almost makes Lissa's heart sing. When Julie smiles at her, she almost melts completely.

She takes Julie's hand gently and, closing her eyes, places a kiss in its palm just as the song ends. She looks back into Julie's eyes and whispers, "Thank you for the dances. But I really should go now."

"Please don't," Julie whispers back, "I'm leaving tomorrow morning. I won't be able to see you until next year."

She smiles softly, though her heart breaks, "I'll be here when you get back."

Julie seems to search her eyes for something and whispers, "Can I cal you while I'm gone?"

"I'd be hurt if you didn't," Lissa answers.

The courage comes from nowhere, "Lissa?"

"Yes, Julie?"

She lowers her head a little more, their faces an inch apart, "I really want to kiss you right now but I'm afraid you'll hate me for it."

Lust, like an electric current, goes through Lissa's body. Every single pore and cell screams for that kiss, but her mind interrupts, "I wouldn't hate you, Julie. I could never hate you. But I don't think you should." When Julie's face clearly shows disappointment, Lissa pulls the girl's head closer, "This goes no further than you and me, okay?" She waits for Julie to nod and then takes a deep breath. Preparing for the confession, she closes her eyes, "I want you more right now than I've ever wanted anyone in all my life, Julie. Please believe that." She takes a ragged breath and opens her eyes, "But I don't know if I'm-."

Julie stops her, "Lissa, I understand." She sighs, "I'm frustrated, yeah, but I get it."

She tips the woman's face up to her own and looks deep into her eyes, "And I want you just as much, believe that. You are all I think about. You are all I could ask for. And I will respect whatever decision you make or whatever rule you need to have. But know this, Lissa, I don't want a romp between sheets. I'm not a one-night-stand kind of girl. I want you, al of you, for a very long time. But for now, I will take whatever you're willing to give me."

"Oh, Julie," she wraps her arms around Julie's waist and nuzzles the girl's neck. When her lips graze Julie's skin by accident, the young woman gasps. Lissa, overcome with the eroticism of that sound, softly kisses Julie's neck several times.

Shit. Oh shit. Breathe, Julie.Unprepared for the soft butterfly kiss on her neck, she closes her eyes, sways and tilts her head to give Lissa more access. She sighs, "God, Lissa, I want you." She buries her hand in Lissa's hair and groans when the woman's tongue traces the curve of her neck and up to her ear.

For the love of God she tastes as good as I thought she would! Even better!Just before her tongue traces the curve of Julie's ear, Lissa whispers, "Oh yeah? How much?"

Julie shudders, "Oh, I think you know how much." Her hands find their way under the back edge of Lissa's sweater. When the woman's lips close on her earlobe, she shivers and hisses, "Fuckin' hell." She lets her fingers draw circles on Lissa's back, making the woman arch against her.Closer. Closer. I need more of you. I want al of you.

Lissa gasps and groans in Julie's ear, "Yes, I know how much." She rests her head in the crook of Julie's neck and sighs, "I could stay here for a very long time, but I have to go."

She gently pushes away and links her fingers with Julie's, not wanting to lose contact with her, "Please have a great trip home, okay? Eat a lot and laugh a lot."

"And miss you a lot?" Julie gives her a lop-sided grin.

She blushes slightly and can't make eye contact, "Well, I wouldn't want to be the only one." She looks back into Julie's eyes and swallows all the emotion building to a fever pitch inside her body.I will not cry. I can't cry. Do not cry, Lissa.

Julie lifts Lissa's hand to her lips, kissing the knuckles of each, "Believe me, you won't be alone." She smiles slyly, "Can I get a goodbye hug?"

She clings to Julie as if she were never coming back, "I thought you'd never ask!" They stand in the dark hugging for a long while, their hearts beating at the same furious pace and neither of them wanting to let go. When Lissa manages to control her feet, she takes a step backwards. Not sure what to say, she says the first thing that comes to mind, "Come back to me, okay?"Please. And hurry because I don't want you to go in the first place. I better go before I'm tempted to revoke your travel permissions.

"Always," Julie promises.I will always come back to you. I'm not going anywhere.

And with her heart pounding in her ears and her eyes already welling with emotion, Lissa turns and walks away.Keep walking, don't look back. Don't look back.The tears fal down her cheeks as she reaches her car. She leans against it and hangs her head.I will miss you more than you know. Probably more than even I know. God, keep her safe and let her come back. Please.

Julie watches the woman leave the arena. Her jaw tenses and releases with chaotic emotions. She fights the urge to run after her and wins. She can hear Lissa's voice in her head and she smiles.Anticipation is good for the soul.

* * *

The dreamer in Julie thought that maybe Lissa would meet her at the airport the next morning to see her off. The more rational part of her mind knew that the woman would be sound asleep in bed at four in the morning. She sits and waits for her plane patiently, her leg jumping with anxious anticipation. When her cell phone rings, it startles her, "Shit!" She flips it open without looking at the caller ID, "Hello?"

"Hi, honey!"

"Hi, mom. I know you're checking on me, but I'm at the airport waiting. I'm showered, dressed, and ready to come home." She smiles, though it's a little harder than she thought it would be.

"Good! We can't wait to see you, babygirl! We'll all be at the airport waiting on you!"

"I can't wait either, Mama."

"Well, have a good flight and we'll see you in a few hours!"

Julie can hear the excitement in her mother's voice and she tries to match it, "Okay! I love y'all!"

"Love you too, Julie! Bye-bye!"

"Bye." She sighs as she closes the phone. She sits back in her chair, relaxing again. The weight of the phone in her hand causes her to consider calling Lissa. But, given the hour, she decides against it. She puts the phone back in her jacket pocket and checks her watch.

Across town, Lissa rolls over in bed and reads the alarm clock again.Just cal her, damn it. You know she's awake. She's probably waiting at the airport, ticket in hand, al cute and cuddly.She smiles.Fine. I'l cal .She picks up the phone and dials the number for the third time since she woke up at three. This time, she lets the call go through.

Julie jumps again when the phone rings, but she assumes it's her mother when she answers, "You're going to give me a heart attack if you keep calling me like that and making me about jump out of my skin!"

After a long pause of astonishment, Lissa begins to giggle. Then it turns into an outright laugh, "Well, that's a fine howdy doody for first thing in the morning!"

Her jaw drops open, "Lissa?" Her whole body shivers and she breaks out in chill bumps.She cal ed me. SHE CALLED ME!

"I think so. Although I don't know if I'm really me until around six in the morning."

Julie laughs, "I'm sorry. My mom just called and I thought you were her cal ing me back."

"Oh," she pretends to be offended, "how old do you think I am?"

Julie's not falling for a trick like that, "You know what I meant."

"I know," she chuckles, "I just like teasing you."

Julie snorts, "Oh you tease me very well, let me tell you."

Giddy with nerves, Lissa hides her face with her bed sheet, "Oh God, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to tease you! I mean, I did. .but I didn't. .oh hell, what am I saying?"

Julie laughs, "I don't know! It sounded like an apology for getting me al worked up last night and then leaving me without so much as a good night kiss."

She uncovers her face, "I told you the truth, though. I might not have kissed you, but. ." she sighs, "God knows I wanted to!"

A little shiver runs through Julie's body, "I think I got that out of what you said."

Lissa chews her lip and rapidly changes the subject, "So you're at the airport, then?"

"Yep." With a sly smile she asks, "Do you want to know what I'm wearing?"

Giving a little laugh, the woman confesses, "Yes."

Wearing a big grin, Julie runs down the list of what she's got on, "Jeans, my boots, a blue t-shirt, and a denim jacket."

"Is the blue the color of your eyes?"

"Close, but my eyes are a little bit darker."

"Mmm," the moan comes out before she can stop it. Scared that Julie heard, she quickly adds, "And how is your hair fixed? You're not wearing a cap backwards, are you?"

Julie didn't miss the moan, but it shook her too much for her to comment, so she answers the question, "Uh, no. It's down. My mom hates my caps. So I don't even pack one when I go home. But I do have a ponytail holder around my wrist."

"Aw, I like your caps," Lissa says, almost sadly.

"Yeah?"Caps are good. Caps make her happy.

"Yeah. You are so cute in a cap with it backwards and with a tank top on. And if you add some basketball shorts, I like it even better. Because that's the Julie I lo. ." she manages to stop, shocked she was about to say the word 'love'. She finishes, "think of when someone mentions your name."

Julie, recognizing the pause, knows what Lissa meant to say and she quietly stands with a huge smile. She plays it off, though, "Aw, thanks." On her end of the line, however, she pumps her fist in the air and does a little dance.She likes me! She total y fucking likes me!

WoooHooo!

"No problem," Lissa's heart slows down a bit, thinking she's off the hook.Oh that could have been a disaster, Lissa! Jesus, focus woman!

Julie turns the tables on her, though, "You know, I thought you were going to say that's the Julie you love." Her smile hasn't let up and it only grows bigger when Lissa stutters.

"N-no, God, why would I say that?" She slaps her forehead and covers her face with a pillow.

"I don't know," Julie sits back down, but her heart is still soaring, "I mean, I can grow on ya, you know."

"Oh," the woman scoffs, "I don't doubt that for one second!" Lissa closes her eyes, but can't help the little smile that spreads across her face.

After a beat, Julie asks softly, "Want to know the Lissa I think about when people mention your name?"

She bites her lip and uncovers her face, "Yes, please."

Julie closes her eyes, bringing the image to mind, "I see. " she pauses, "honey eyes looking into mine, a sweater that matches them perfectly, parted lips, and your hand on my face. And in the background, if I close my eyes tight and shut out the rest of the world, I can hear a slow song playing."

Her heart, thudding hard against her chest, swells, "Oh, Julie, I'm going to miss you so much."Every minute I'l wish Christmas were still a week away.

"Not nearly as much as I'll miss you."Trust me. Not nearly as much.

"I'll think about you every day. Even when I'm with my family." She quickly asks,

"You're going to call me Christmas morning, right? And tel me everything you got?"

"Of course!" Julie smiles, "I plan on calling you as much as I can." She jabs, "I just hope you answer the phone."

She gets the joke, but decides to be serious, "Julie, from now on, I plan on answering every call you make to me just as quickly as humanly possible. Never doubt that I want to talk to you.. any time you call, night or day."

Oh wow.Her heart beats a little faster. Her throat closes with emotion, "Lissa, I-" She hears the attendant cal for boarding and she curses, "Shit! I have to go."

"Oh," she sighs, "Okay."

"Oh, hey, Liss?"

Her smile broadens, "Yes?"

"Are you going into the office over the break?" She chews her lip nervously.Please say yes. Please.

"Yeah, I have to go in today and get my computer and then I'll go in the day before y'all get back. But as of tomorrow I'll be at my parents' house for the holidays." It occurs to her what a strange question that was, "Why?"

"Because Santa Claus was a little confused as to where you'd be for Christmas. So I'll let him know where you'll be."

"What?" She can only giggle, "You know Santa personally?"

"Oh, baby," Julie laughs, "you'd be amazed at what and who I know!"

When Julie calls her 'baby', she shivers. "I bet I would!"And if I could decide what I want, I'm sure you'd show me everything you know, too.

The second call for boarding comes over the speaker and Julie curses again, "Damn! I really have to go this time!" She grabs her bag and gets her ticket out, "Have a great day, okay?"

"I'm going back to sleep right now, if I can." She rolls over in bed, "You get some rest and don't forget to call me sometime, okay?"

"I won't, I promise," she hands her ticket to the attendant and sighs, "I'm going to lose signal in the walkway, so I have to let you go."

"Okay," she doesn't want to hang up, but knows she must, "I'll talk to you later, Julie."

Julie can't hide the despair in her voice, "I miss you already."

She bites her lip, but remains strong, "Me too, Julie. But I promise I'll be here when you get back."

The girl nods, "Okay. Hey, Lissa, thank you for calling me."

"No problem," she's put off the inevitable long enough, "Good bye, Julie," her voice breaks at the end, but she holds it together.

"No, it's supposed to be 'I'll see you later, Julie'. Try again."

The faintest of smiles emerges on Lissa's face, "I'll see you later, Julie."

"Good girl," she breathes, "I'll see you later, Lissa," it takes everything in her to close her phone, but she does it. She boards the plane still reeling.Damn I want to see my family but I real y want to drive over to her house, shut out the world, and wake up beside her Christmas morning.She finds her seat and settles in, using her vivid imagination to occupy her mind for the entire flight.

Lissa hangs up and places the phone back on the cradle. She rolls over and squeezes her body pillow tight. In a moment of sleepy weakness, she allows a few tears to fall. But she sleeps with smile and Julie's face on her mind.

* * *

The door to her office is locked when she gets there. Her plans are to get the computer, which she left at the office to charge, then leave from there headed home to Alabama. She throws her jacket on the chair just inside the door and flips on the light.

Instantly her eyes fall on a package situated in the middle of her desk.I bet I know who that's from! How did Santa get in here?

As if she's four years old, the woman rips into the wrapping paper. Underneath a couple of layers of wrap is a box the size of a shoe box. Upon further inspection, she discovers that the packageisa shoe box. She takes a seat and opens the box. Inside she finds a top-of-the-line pair of women's basketbal shoes in her size. There's a card on top and she opens it.

"Dear Lissa," she reads aloud, "Since I'm sure that one day I'll convince you to play against me, I thought you could use a good pair of playing shoes. Before finishing the rest of this card, I want you to get up and go to your closet. .I'll wait." She laughs and does as the card instructs. When she opens the door to the coat closet, she gasps. Inside, on a hanger, are a jersey and a pair of basketbal shorts identical to the team's gear. She admires the jersey and flips it over. Her name has been stitched into the fabric just above a big "10.5".

She throws her head back and laughs, because Julie's number is 10. She picks up the card, "I hope they fit. And I know you got a kick out of the number I've assigned you. I thought it was appropriate since you're just a little better than I am. But I suppose we'll have to change the number if I happen to kick your ass in a game of one-on-one, huh?" Lissa giggles, her eyes misting at Julie's thoughtfulness, "I hope your Christmas break is a great one. I know that I'll miss you. Maybe you'll miss me a little bit, too?" She stops reading to breathe,

"More every second, Julie." She finishes the card, "Love and hugs, That Freshman You Enjoy Teasing."

Lissa takes her seat again and, for no reason, pulls the jersey up to her nose. The grin on her face grows.It smel s like Julie.She wipes her eyes and hangs the jersey back up in the closet. Grabbing her computer, she packs her things to leave and just before flicking off the light, she throws everything down in the chair. Lissa walks briskly back to the closet, pulls the jersey off its hanger, and drapes it over her shoulder, "If I can't have her with me, I can at least bring her smell."

Chapter 12

Wednesday, December 22

Some of her favorite childhood memories were created in front of the fireplace Lissa's staring into. The Christmas lights blink red and green in turn and she can barely smell her hot chocolate over the scent of the tree. Holding the cup gingerly, she sits on the opposite end of the couch from her mother. The topic of conversation, as it always does, turns to Lissa's love life…or lack thereof.

"So," Pat clears her throat, "who's got your face glowing like that?" She can't help but smile. Lissa hasn't been this content in years. Every other time Lissa's come home, she's been stressed out, overworked, and cranky. By the time she leaves she's always more relaxed and cheerful, but it takes her a couple of days to wind down. Today when Lissa arrived, Pat was shocked to see her daughter smiling and laughing right out of the car. Her conclusion is there must be a special someone in her daughter's life.

She tries to play stupid, "What do you mean? I'm not glowing."

"Yes, you are. And you may as well just stop trying to fool me, because you're not. I might be getting old in my body, but my mind is still sharp, Lissa Renee. So go on," her mother makes a motion with her hand, "tell Mama al about her."

The blush on her cheeks is unstoppable and very noticeable, "Well, I don't know if I'm ready to talk about it right now." She takes a sip of her drink and hopes that her mother drops the subject, but something tel s her that's not going to happen.

And she's right. Patricia presses, "Honey, who better to talk to than your own mother?

Are you dating this woman? Do you work with her? Is she on the staff or just a fan of the team? Or maybe she doesn't have any affiliation with the team. Does she? Well answer me!"

Lissa laughs, "Well stop asking so many questions!" She wipes her mouth while trying to figure out how to explain the situation to her mother, "Um, well, you might not approve."

Giving her mother a serious look, she continues, "She's actually," she pauses and takes a deep breath before blurting, "a player." She hides her face with a couch pillow.Oh, God, what's she going to say that?

Patricia considers this information a moment and then responds, "Is she legal?"

Lissa nods, but doesn't uncover her face, "Yes, ma'am."

"Then why wouldn't I approve? The girl's got a brain, right?"

"Yes."

"Then she's fine by me. If she treats you right and makes you happy, then I'm sure I'll love her if you do."

She comes out of hiding now, "Oh, Mama, I don't love her."

"Lissa, baby," Patricia begins, leaning closer to her daughter, "you're giddy. Your face is glowing. You're practically giggling." She reclines again, "You're in love."

"Oh, God, Mama, I can't be in love with her!" Lissa insists, "I barely know her!"

"I am not going to have to tell you the story of how I met your father again, am I?"

She loves this story and bashfully asks, "Would you?"

"Oh lord, I suppose. But I'm only going to give you the short version," she always pretends to loathe telling this story. But in truth, she enjoys reliving it any time she can. "It was 1963 and JFK had just been shot. I was single and my best friend, Penny, set me up on a blind date. We met at a little greasy spoon type of place and I got there ten minutes early.

He, however, would end up being ten minutes late!" She laughs, but then her eyes sort of go misty and get that far-away look in them, "When he walked in the door, though, I just knew it was him and al was forgiven. We talked for hours because the diner was open around the clock. And we laughed, oh, God, did we laugh! I fell in love instantly and, thankfully, he did too." She sighs, "Four months later we were married. So when people ask me if I believe in love at first sight, I say that not only do I believe in it, but I live with it every single day."

"Yeah, but it doesn't happen that way for everyone."

"No, because if it did, then stories like mine wouldn't put a smile on people's faces like the one you have now."

"How did you get so wise, Mama?"

"Oh, baby, I raised two hard-headed girls, lost my own parents, and did a lot of growing up really fast. Plus I'm a genius." She laughs at her joke, "Seriously, though, if you feel something for this girl, do yourself a favor. Don't do what Lissa would do."

"What?" She doesn't try to hide the fact that she takes offense to that advice.

"Lissa, ever since you came out to us, you've tried so hard to hide who you are that I have often wondered why you even came out of the damn closet! You were with Tara for almost a year before you ever started using the pronoun 'she' when you talked about her!

And it was a few months after that before we ever got to meet the woman! And no sooner do we get a chance to fall in love with her, than you call me and say that you're no longer in love with her!" She shakes her head, "And then, once you break up with her, you don't even date!

You've had one love in your life…basketball. And with Tara you couldn't have both. Now, with this player, you can. Grab a hold to this chance and don't let it get away." As an afterthought, she asks, "What's this girl's name, anyway?"

Blushing, she answers, "Julie Whitney."

Patricia's eyes widen, "The new guard?" When Lissa nods, she smiles, "Oh, she's terribly good at basketball! And she's not bad looking, either. She's got some really nice arms, you know. And a cute butt, too."

"Mama!" She laughs at the idea that her own mother finds Julie attractive. But Lissa can't blame her; Julie's definitely someone who catches the eye. She takes a moment to compose the question and then asks it quietly, "So you don't think people will think badly of me?"

"What have I always told you, Lissa? People are always going to think badly of you. Hell, people thought badly of Jesus Christ! That has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with them. Do not al ow what everyone else says or thinks affect your life, because you will never make everyone happy. You can only make yourself happy. You're only responsible for making Lissa Norman happy."

Lissa sighs, "I know, but I'm in a position of power over Julie. People might think I'm taking advantage of a girl who doesn't know any better. They might assume that Julie's naïve and I'm just a…" she bites her lip, "child molester or pedophile or something."

Rolling her eyes, Patricia says, "Oh, give me a break. Do you really believe that? If they do think that of you, it doesn't matter as long as it's not true. That's them making assumptions and you can't change their minds. Their minds aren't worth changing if they're thinking such horrible things about you. You're a good person who has fallen in love with someone else you believe is a good person. What they think is of no consequence."

"But what if she gets torn to shreds over a relationship with her coach?"

"Then she knows who to run to if she needs some support or a shoulder to cry on."

After a moment of quiet, she asks, "Do her parents know she's a lesbian?"

"Yeah. She came out at a young age. She's adopted and her parents are really supportive."I wish I had even half her courage at this age, much less at hers!

"Well, see? I'm sure she's thought of all this, too. You're not the only one going through the pros and cons, I'm sure. Is she pursuing you or is this one-sided?"

"Oh," she laughs, "she's made it pretty clear that she'd like to have some sort of relationship with me."

"Is this all that's stopping you? What everyone else will think? Or is there something else holding you back?"

Lissa takes a moment to real y search her heart, "I think that's it, real y. I like her. I think she's smart and funny and attractive. She's respectful and mature. She's everything I've ever wanted in a partner. She's just," she finishes with a sigh, "a player on the team for which I'm an assistant coach."

"Are there rules against the relationship?"

"I have looked just briefly, but I don't think so."Oh God, I hope not.

"Then you have only one thing to do."

She tilts her head, "What?"

"Figure out what will make Lissa happy. And then do that," Patricia smiles at her youngest child. "Everything else will fall into place, Lissa, if you just give in to something that could clearly make you very happy." She stands, "Right now, I have to get to bed and make Patricia's aching back happy." She bends and kisses Lissa's forehead, "Good night, honey."

"Good night, Mama," she reaches for her mother's hand, "And thank you."

"Any time, pumpkin."

Left alone with her thoughts, she allows herself to imagine what life in a relationship with Julie might be like. The images make her smile. When the yawn comes, it sneaks up on her. She turns the Christmas lights off, puts her cup away, and heads to her old room intending to crawl into her old bed.

As she changes clothes, her eyes fall on the jersey she'd thrown over the suitcase.

She picks it up and carries it to the bed, taking deep breaths of Julie's scent. Checking the time, she wonders if Julie will call tonight. She stretches out and lays the jersey on her pillow, right beside her head. A finger traces the number on the back of the jersey and she can't help the smile. Her eyes slowly drift closed and within minutes she's overtaken by sleep.

* * *

"Did I wake you up?" Julie asks, and Lissa can tell she regrets cal ing this late.

"Yeah," she replies with a smile, "but I'm glad you did. We really should talk, if you're up for it."

"Sure. What do you want to talk about?"Ah, shit, what could I have done from way over here?

Calm, Lissa. Just breathe.She rolls over and takes a deep breath, "I don't know if I can do this."

Fuck.Julie's breath catches, "Do what?"

"Talk about this."

"Oh," Julie's voice sounds strained but she's trying to hide it. "Well, I'm willing to talk if you want to."

The sound of her voice is giving Lissa strength and weakening her at the same time.It's now or never, just go for it."Julie, I have some very strong feelings for you. I don't know where they came from, or why they're there, but I need to know if you're feeling the same or if I'm a total idiot."Please don't let her be total y insulted or scared of me. Flirting is one thing. .admitting to feelings is another. What if I'm a harmless participant in her effort to improve her flirting skills?

"Oh, God," Julie's voice is tight with emotion, "I feel it, too. I do. You're not an idiot."How in the hel could you not know how I feel? I'm so in love with you it comes out of my pores like sweat!

"Oh, thank goodness." She sighs with relief and then laughs, "I just knew you were going to throw me for a loop and say I'm gross or something and hang up!"

"I would never call you gross for having feelings for me!" Julie laughs and then Lissa can almost hear the girl's smile falter, "I guess now we just have to decide what we're going to do about these. .feelings."

"To be honest, I think I'm only just now ready to admit that I have them. Where to go from here isn't worked out in my head just yet. I'm just so relieved to be able to talk about them. I've kept them inside for a while now and I feel so much better!"

"Me too!" Her laugh is light and free of the strain from before.

"May I ask you something?" She's wanted to ask this, but never had the courage face-to-face.Now that I have her on the phone and thousands of miles away, I think I can ask.

"Sure."

I know I'm blushing and red is not my color but I can't help it, "When did you start feeling things for me?"

The smile on Julie's face is evident in the way she laughs, "From the moment I laid eyes on you, I think. You know, back in the Prehistoric Polo Shirt days." They both laugh and Julie adds, "Love at first sight really does exist if you ask me!"

She smiles, thinking of her parents' story, "Yeah. I'm starting to believe that, too."

"Hey, Lissa?"

"Yeah?"

"It's not going to be weird between us when we see each other again, is it? I mean, we can still hang out with the team, I know, but can we go out alone?"

You are so adorable, Julie Whitney. "Like on a date?"

"Well, yeah," she laughs, "is that so out of the question?"

She considers the offer and how it might work, "I guess not. I mean, we don't have to tell everyone we're on a date. We could just be hanging out and talking about basketball, right?"

"Are you worried someone's going to say something?"

"Chances are, no one's going to say anything, but I don't want to set off any unnecessary and uncomfortable questions, you know?"

"Yeah, I think I see what you mean. But honestly, if someone asked questions, I'd tell them to mind their own business."

Lissa can't help but laugh because in her mind's eye she can see Julie standing her ground, "I can total y see you doing that! And you'd do it with a smile on your face, no less!"

"Probably so!" Julie laughs, "But they'd definitely get what I was saying to them!"

"Oh, I don't doubt that!" She takes a shaky breath, "I hope you don't mind, but, I talked to my mom about you."

Julie doesn't show surprise but Lissa knows she is, "What did you talk about?"

Even though Julie can't see her, Lissa blushes, "Well, I told her how I felt and all the reasons why I shouldn't or couldn't have these feelings."

"What did she say?"

"She pretty much told me that I think too much!"

Julie chuckles, "Tell her I send her a hearty thank you!"

"Will do!" She laughs, "She's going to want to meet you now."

"Well, tell her that the first chance I get I'll come visit. That is, if you'll take me."

"Nah, I'll give you directions and you can drive yourself. She'll make some fried chicken and y'all can sit on the front porch and drink lemonade while discussing all of the embarrassing childhood stories she's got on me."

"I'd love that. But what would make that situation perfect is having you there beside me."

"Aw," Lissa laughs softly, "what a charmer you are, Julie Whitney."

"Yeah," she jokes, "my dad taught me well."

"Tell him that I said, 'thank you'."

Julie chuckles, "I'll do that." Changing the subject, she gets curious, "So where do your parents live? What's it like there?"

"Well," she shifts in the bed, "they still live in the house where I grew up. My room is still pink and there's still only a twin bed in here. Thankfully the dolls are all gone, but Mama keeps my trophies around because she likes dusting them, I guess. They have a little wood and brick house just outside the city limits of Carmen. Carmen's a little tiny town practical y on the border between Georgia and Alabama."

Enjoying the story immensely, Julie wonders, "So about how many people live there?"

"About five thousand, I guess, at the last census. It's not very big. I had about seventy people in my graduating class. Mama and Daddy own about a thousand acres and most of it is behind the house. But they've got about three-hundred and fifty acres of beautiful land across the highway that runs in front of the house. There's a creek and a pond on the back eighty. That's the eighty acres of land that's the furthest away from the house."

"Did you go there a lot as a kid?"

"Oh, God, yeah! All the time! Once you get about thirty acres from the house, headed to the creek, there's a patch of flat land where we used to play softball and flag football.

And, of course, there was a lot of skinny dipping in the pond!"

Julie giggles, "We mostdefinitelyhave to go to the pond, then!"

Lissa imagines the girl winking at her at the end of that sentence, "Yeah, if you're lucky I'll take you back there."

"Oh, I see! If I'm lucky, huh?"

"Yep!"

"Do you think I'll get that lucky?"I think I just might, no matter what you say.

She pretends to consider the question, "Hm, do I think you'll get that lucky? Hm," she snickers, "yeah, I think you just might, Whit."

"Hot damn!" Julie claps her hands together.

Shaking her head and laughing, "You're so silly! And, something I've noticed is that your accent's back now that you're home."

"Really? No one's said anything."

"Uh, duh, because they al sound like you!" Lissa laughs out loud when Julie makes a funny noise, "Oh, that's mature!"

"Well, I couldn't think of anything smart to say!" Julie laughs at herself and then sighs, "I love talking to you, Lissa."

"I love talking to you, too, Julie."

After a moment or two of silence, Julie speaks up, "So is your favorite song 'Sweet Home Alabama'?"

Lissa covers her face and groans, "You know what's funny? I actually do love that song.

It's just a rockin' out, hard-core song, you know? But I don't listen to it much. I have it on a CD that Tara made me years ago, and when I was driving home, I just got in a mood. So I rolled the windows down, cranked up the sound, and sang that song almost non-stop al the way home! I played air guitar and everything!"

Julie laughs out loud, "I would have loved to see that!"

"Oh, God, no you wouldn't! You would have had stomach cramps from laughing so hard by the time we got here!"

"Promise me you'll crank it up when we drive out to meet your parents."

"I can't promise, but, I'll think about it."

Julie sighs, "Alright, but think hard, okay?"

She grins, "Okay. I promise to think hard."

Without warning, Julie yawns, "Oh man, I think I'm getting sleepy."

"Aw," Lissa moans, "I wish I was there."

Quietly, Julie murmurs, "Why?"

"Because," she pauses and takes a deep breath before confessing, "I'd like to hold you, Julie, until you fall asleep. I'd like to watch you fight closing your eyes until you lose and your eyelashes rest on your cheeks. To watch you open and close your mouth in your sleep, feeling you snuggle closer to me."

Julie responds softly, "I promise you that I'll let you do that any time you want."

A slow smile emerges, "You promise, eh?"

Even though the woman can't see her, Julie raises her hand as if she's taking an oath,

"Solemnly swear."

"Good. Thank you."

"I'm going to ask you a silly question now."

"Okay, shoot."

"Do you consider yourself a country girl?"

"There's a song, a country song, about being born country. I love that song. I believe in most of the words of it, and so, yes, I guess you could say that I am a country girl. I love it out here with the crickets, in the dark where no lights outshine the stars above you. Where you can walk out of your house and not hear a single sound for hours except the wind in the trees, the birds, and the sound of your own breathing. Some nights are so still and quiet you can hear trees grow!"

Wow. That sounds like Heaven!"You're a poet, aren't you?"

"Why do you ask that?"

"Because you just painted the perfect picture for me. It makes me really, really wish I was there with you."

Quietly she mumbles, "Me too."

After a moment of silence, Julie yawns again, "I need to go, I don't want to, but I need to."

"Okay, sweetie, get some sleep and call me again sometime before the end of the week, okay?"

"I sure will."Count on it.

"I'll talk to you later. Good night, Julie."

"G'night, Lissa."

In the moonlight that shines through the bedroom window, Lissa lays awake thinking of Julie and their conversation. Relieved that she revealed her feelings, she wonders what the future holds. After a while, she opens her window just a crack. The music of crickets finally sings her to sleep and the trace scents of Julie on her brand new jersey bring sweet dreams.

* * *

"What's up, hoe?"

Lissa looks at the phone, completely astonished. She picked up the phone on Christmas morning believing that it was going to be her grandmother calling to wish the family a Merry Christmas.Clearly, this is not Nanny, "Um, excuse me?"

The voice on the other end, vaguely familiar, laughs, "Hey, it's me, Lissa."

Still not catching the woman's voice, she fumbles, "Who?"

"Tara!" The woman laughs, "Merry Christmas, honey!"

Relief washes over her and she laughs, "Oh, God! Merry Christmas! How are you? I haven't heard you in so long I didn't recognize your voice!"

"Well, it's not every day you answer the phone and get called a hoe, I guess."

"No, definitely not!"

"To answer your question, I'm doing okay. I actually just had a moment and wanted to call and wish you and your family a Merry Christmas."

"Well thank you, darlin'!"

Tara giggles, "There's that Alabama accent!"

"Ugh," she groans, "don't point it out. I can't stand it!" Changing the subject, she jokingly growls, "When am I going to see you again, hoe?"

It's Tara's turn to laugh, "Well, I was thinking of visiting when I'm in town around the middle of next month. How's that?"

"Sounds good to me!"

"Alright, it's a date then!"

"Tell your family Merry Christmas for me, hug everyone and you have a good day, okay?"

"You too, darlin'," Tara mocks. "I hope you get everything you asked Santa for, Lissa."

She sighs with a big smile, "I think I just might, T. I just might."

* * *

When a phone rings again on Christmas morning, it's Lissa's cell. On the other end is Julie, "Merry Christmas!"

She smiles at her mother who is watching from the other side of the kitchen island,

"Merry Christmas, Julie!" Pat's eyebrows shoot up and Lissa waves a hand at her to ward off any interruption, "What did Santa bring you?"

Julie pouts, "I didn't get the one thing I wanted more than anything!"

"What was that?"

"You."

She blushes bright red and her mother stifles a giggle. Lissa manages to maintain her composure, "Well, perhaps next year."

Julie chuckles, "I hope so. So what did you get?"

"Other than the super fantastic gift I got before I came home?" Lissa smiles broadly.

On the other end, Julie blushes furiously but is delighted the gift was well-received,

"I'm glad you liked your gifts. Does it all fit?"

"Everything should fit perfectly. Thank you, Julie." She adds, before the girl can comment, "You need to check your email."

Confused, Julie asks, "Why?" She doesn't wait for a reason before going to her laptop and checking for new messages. There's one from Ticketmaster and she gasps before screaming, "Oh my God! Oh my God! You got me tickets to see Pink!" She jumps up and down excitedly, "Oh my God! Aaahh!"

Lissa and her mom convulse with laughter at the hysterics. Lissa gets the girl's attention, "Julie, there are three tickets there. One is for you. One is for a friend, who will probably be Jackie, no doubt. And the other is for me. After all, what's a date to the Pink concert without a chaperone?"

"Lissa, oh my God, thank you! This is the best gift ever! And I am three times as thrilled because I get to take 2 of my favorite people in the world!" She sighs, "You.. ” she pauses and swallows hard, "will definitely get a hug from me as soon as possible." Giddy over her now favorite Christmas gift, she asks, "What else did you get?"

"We haven't opened anything yet," Lissa sighs. "We're waiting on my sister to get here first. She's always late Christmas morning because of the kids."

"Well, you can't blame her for that."

"Yes I can! She's the one who had the damn heathens!"

Julie bursts out laughing, "That's so mean!"

"Well, it's the truth!" She laughs, "I'm kidding. But it is kind of aggravating that she's always late thisonemorning of the whole damn year!"

"Well, a little anticipation doesn't hurt, does it?"

Her eyes narrow, "I'm never going to live that down, am I?"

Julie shakes her head vehemently, "Hell no."

Patricia interrupts, "Can I speak to her, please?"

"What?" Lissa turns away when her mother reaches for the phone, "Mama, no."

Julie laughs, "Does she want to talk to me?"

"Yes," the woman answers and then addresses her mother, "Mama, what could you possibly have to say to her?"

"Just let me speak to her, Lissa," Patricia insists.

She warns Julie, "Whatever she says is completely false." Lissa relinquishes the phone and folds her hands as if she's praying.

Cheerfully, Patricia introduces herself, "Merry Christmas, Julie! I'm Pat, Lissa's mom!"

Lissa watches as her mother's face lights up when Julie answers, "Well, Merry Christmas, Pat! I'm Julie, Lissa's most talented and most attractive player."

"So I hear," the older woman jokes, causing Julie to blush furiously on the other end of the line. "Well, my daughter has told me enough about you that I now insist you come and see us some time soon."

"Well, we've actually talked about that, and I think we're planning a trip some time next summer. We've got the whole season to finish out and then basketball camps in the early summer. So I'm thinking around the middle to end of July will be the first chance we can get."

"I'll probably be out for a couple of games late in the season, so I'll get to meet you, maybe. If not, we'll hope to see you in July."

"I'm so looking forward to it! She's promised to take me to the creek. That has me really eager to visit!"

Pat smiles, "I can tell." She gets serious now, playing with the girl a bit, "I have to ask you, Julie, what your intentions are with my daughter."

"Well," Julie clears her throat, "ma'am, my intentions are simply to make her as happy as she'll let me."Is there a wrong way to answer that? I intend to tie her to a bed and do nasty thin----better not say that.

Liking the girl's quick thinking, Pat laughs, "Well, then, you're alright by me! I'm going to hand the phone back to Lissa before she has a hissy fit. Have a beautiful Christmas, sweetheart."

"You too, Mrs. Norman."

"Oh, honey, call me Mama," she hands the phone over to her daughter. "She's a keeper, Liss." With that, she turns and leaves Lissa with some privacy.

"Wow," Lissa gasps, "Julie, that's kind of huge."

"What? That she asked me to call her Mama?"

"Well, yes. Tara called her Miss Pat for the entirety of our relationship. But I was talking about how she called you a keeper." She swal ows hard, "And," her voice drops, "the fact that I let you speak to her this early in our.. " she pauses, looking to the right word to describe their relationship.

"Situation?" Julie tries to help.

"Yeah, in our situation, is a huge thing, too. I dated Tara for over a year before my mom and dad ever met her."

"Well, then, I'm honored." Julie beams at her own mom when the woman comes into the living room. Before her mother can begin complaining she speaks, "Mama, I'm talking to Lissa.

I know I have to help you. I'll be in the kitchen in just a few minutes, I promise."

Hannah smiles and winks, "Take your time. But tel her Merry Christmas."

"Did you hear that," Julie asks Lissa.

"Yes. And tell her I said the same."

"Right back at you, Mama." Julie watches her mother leave, "I've got to go help her in the kitchen. The whole family is coming over and we have a lot of cooking to do."

"Well, I'll let you get at it. Thank you for calling me."

Julie smiles, "I couldn't think of anything better to do on Christmas morning than talking to you."

"Well, I started to call you around six when I woke up. But I thought I'd let you sleep."

Julie laughs hard, "I'd have been awake, laying in bed, and holding the phone. I was up around that time, wondering if I should call you. Then I thought I'd let you sleep."

"I wasn't sleeping," she chuckles, "I was doing the same, I guess."

"Have a wonderful Christmas Day, Lissa."

"You too, baby," the sentiment comes out easier than she thought it would.

Julie's smile is almost palpable, "I like it when you call me that. Do it again."

"Um, okay." Quickly, she thinks of something to end the conversation with, "I'll talk to you later, baby."

Julie responds, "I'm lookin' forward to it, baby."

A cold chill comes over her and Lissa smiles shyly, "Okay, I get it now. And. .I like it, too."

"Good," she smiles, "Bye, Liss."

"Bye, honey."

Chapter 13

Wednesday, January 12

Julie storms out of practice, her face is red and her heart is broken. To add insult to injury, it"s pouring outside. She scurries to her truck, cursing the rain that fal s on her face, but glad for it because people won't be able to tell if those are tears or raindrops falling down her cheek. She throws her bag inside and slides behind the wheel. She looks up just as Lissa comes running through the side door of the gym.

Lissa screams, "Julie! Don't go! Wait!" She runs towards the truck, trying not to fall in the puddles forming on the sidewalk. Her hair is getting plastered to her head and her long-sleeved t-shirt is soaking up water like a sponge.

Julie unlocks the passenger door with a sigh and waits, head down, tears threatening.

Her cheeks burn from the memory of how everyone laughed at her. She closes her eyes against the tears and takes a deep breath.

When Lissa slides into the truck, soaked and breathing hard, she takes a moment to catch her breath before speaking. The silence is overwhelming, except for the sound of Lissa's deep breaths. As she calms, Lissa examines the young woman next to her. She"s clearly upset, even though it seems like such a smal thing that happened. But something in Julie"s reaction tells her that there"s much more than meets the eye. She finally catches her breath and begins to speak, "Look, I don't know what that was al about. Can you explain it to me?"

Julie sighs and turns to look out her window, "It was nothing."

Lissa sighs, "You went running out of practice as soon as it was over. You usually hang out and talk to me but you didn"t. That is something."

Julie wipes her cheek with the back of her hand and turns to Lissa, "Don't worry about it. I'm fine."

Her shoulders slump, "Please, Julie. Talk to me."

God you're beautiful even when you're dripping water and soaked to the bone."Jenny is retaliating because I don't like her anymore. On Thursday, after the game, she asked me out again. I told her I wasn't interested in dating her anymore. She assumed that if I didn't want to date her that I was seeing someone else. I'm not seeing someone else, but I don't like her.” She sighs before continuing, “I do like someone else, though." Nervously, she glances into Lissa's face for a reaction.

“Okay," Lissa responds, urging the girl to continue.

Julie looks at her hands in her lap, "And so she's freaking out. She wants to know who I have a crush on, or the name of the person that I'm dating, or what my problem is. She"s been asking me for days now. So earlier today in the locker room, I told her, in front of everyone, to just back off me." She shakes her head, "But she wouldn't stop. She just kept crying and talking about how much she loves me and wants me. About how I"ve ruined her life by not loving her the way she thought I did." The tears start to slide down her cheeks, "And she keeps talking about how if she ever finds out who is standing between us, she's going to make them regret the day they ever met me and got in her way. She"s treating me like a possession to be „had" and nothing someone to be loved. I feel like I'm in some sort of fucked up soap opera."

Lissa bites her bottom lip, fighting against the urge to hold Julie in her arms. She clears her throat, "So that's why she blurted that out in practice? She"s just trying to hurt you? Or is she trying to hurt…me?”

"She"s trying to hurt me, I"m sure. I never saw that coming. We al came out of the locker room, then you called me over to the bench." She lets her head drop back against the headrest, looking up at the top of her truck, hoping it will stop the tears, "And when you squatted down in front of me, I-" she clenches her eyes shut, begging the sound of Jenny's voice to go away, "heard her ask that damn question.”

Jenny asked, her voice dripping with poison, "Isthatthe bitch who's caught your eye?

What, is she a better fuck than I am? If you say yes, I swear to God I'll have that bitch fired."

Julie buries her face in her hands now, "I can't believe she said that. I am mortified, Coach, I swear I am. Oh God, I wanted to kill her. Hit her. Anything." She wipes her face as she moves her hands and looks at Lissa, "I swear that I never, ever saw this coming. I swear.

If I had, I"d have stopped her. I would have shut her up or not come to practice. Or just…fucking said I"d go out with her."

"Julie, seriously, this is nothing. We've done nothing wrong. We haven't crossed a single line. .imaginary or otherwise." Lissa reaches out for the girl's hand, "I promise, Julie. I don't care what she says. I'm more worried about how you're feeling right now than anything else."Oh, Julie, you're breaking my heart!

She"s sure that Lissa can feel her hand trembling, but she manages to get a reign on her voice, "I'm alright now, I guess. As long as you're not mad at me."

Lissa sighs, "Hon, you have got to stop thinking I'm going to be mad at you for everything. I'm not like Jenny."

She mumbles under her breath, "You can say that again."

Lissa gives her a lop-sided grin, "I'm not like Jenny."

She chuckles and sighs, "I feel better now." She nods, "But I will say this. And you better not tell her I said this."

Lissa holds up one hand, "Scout's honor."

Julie nods sheepishly, "Good. Well, I was just going to say thatanyonewould be better in bed than her."

The woman bursts out laughing, "Oh no! I think that's more information than I ever wanted!"

Julie laughs and looks down thoughtfully at their hands. Their fingers have managed to tangle themselves in a warm heap. Her face falls a little and her voice drops, "Liss, can I confess something to you?"

Lissa gulps, already feeling heat coursing through her body, and realizing that their hands are still pressed against each other, "Sure."

She bites her lip and looks up, "There is a reason why I don't want to date her… I,"

she pauses to take a shaky breath and close her eyes, "want you."

For Lissa, the world screeches to a halt, "What?"

She opens her eyes, "I think I'm in love with you. I have wanted you since that first day at practice, I think." When Lissa slowly pulls her hand away, Julie doesn't protest, though she wants more than anything to pull the woman"s hand back, to take back that confession. But now that it"s out, she braces herself for the backlash.Fuck, fuck, fuck, Whit!

Now you've done it!

"Wow." Lissa searches for words to say, but can't think of anything. "I'm.. stunned."Oh my God! Get out, Lissa! Get out of the truck!

Julie gulps back tears, "Yeah, I figured you would be upset."

"I mean I don't know what to say or do. I don't know how to respond."

Julie leans back against the driver's side door, "You don't have to say anything. It was a dumb thing, me telling you. I"m sorry."

After a moment of silence, Lissa speaks, "I think I should go."

"Are you-"

"No." She looks into Julie's eyes, "I'm not mad at you. I know that's what you think, but I'm not. I promise. I just don"t know what to say. I don"t know how I should feel. I mean, I"m honored, and confused, and stunned. But I am not mad. I promise you that."

Julie nods, feeling the tears threatening again, her jaw clenching and releasing, "Okay."

I think I'm going to have a heart attack. Please don"t hate me. Why couldn"t I just be happy with what I had?

Lissa searches for words and holds herself back from grabbing the girl in her arms and holding her for the rest of the day, "I'll talk to you later. I just need to think." She crawls out of the truck and into the rain.

Julie watches as the woman walks back into the gym and then backs her truck up, tears spilling down her cheeks. She"s so blinded by her tears she can only see the look on Lissa's face when she confessed. When she closes her eyes, even to blink, she can only see red, the color of her own embarrassment not at the words Jenny blurted, but at the ones she spilled into Lissa's lap.Idiot! You're a damn idiot!

What she doesn't see is Lissa walking back into the gym with sobs wracking her shoulders. She doesn't see the woman slide down the wall, hands covering her eyes, her heart thudding loudly in her ears. She doesn"t see when Lissa pounds her fist on the floor of the gym, angry that she didn"t do something more to comfort the girl.

But more important than that is what she doesn"t hear: Lissa whispering her name over and over.

Chapter 14

Saturday, January 22

Julie walks into the gym with a strut. Dressed in basketball gear, she presents herself as a top notch athlete should, confident and self-assured. The top female players from high school teams around the region watch in silent awe as she approaches.

She smiles sweetly as she drops her bag, "Good mornin', ladies." Her accent makes the girls giggle a little. She surveys the faces and recognizes a few of them, "I know a few of you, but if you'll put your name on these name tags and stick 'em to your shirts that would help a lot."Cause I am not going to stress myself remembering al of your names.She hands out the labels and a marker, "Thanks. First off, I'm Julie Whitney, the freshman guard for the Eagles. I'm a starter and am looking forward to winning the championship this year." She smiles at the girls before deciding that was enough information for them, "I'm going to get ready. Y'all just start throwing the balls around and I'll be back in a few minutes." She tries to shake the gloom out of her attitude as she gathers her whistle, headband, and water bottle from her bag.Aight, Whitney, pull it together. Get your ass in gear and put the bitch side of you away just for now.

As Julie walks away, Cassie, a senior from Chestnut High School, whispers to her best friend, "God, she's hot!"

Michel e giggles, "Yeah, she is!"

The girls talk amongst themselves as Julie sets up for the drills she's going to be teaching them.This clinic is the last thing on Earth I want to be doing right now.But she made a promise and she doesn't break promises. Never mind that she hasn't gotten much sleep in the past four days. She can count the hours of sleep on one hand and have a finger left over to twirl a basketball on. The tense atmosphere of practice has left her with a headache almost every day this week. And since she knows Lissa will be at every practice for the remainder of the week, she doesn't see any sleep in her near future.

Sighing with frustration, she turns to the adoring girls again. "Alright, ladies," she flashes a sadistic smile, "let's get dirty, shall we?"

* * *

Sweaty and exhausted, the girls collapse when Julie calls a break. Michelle is the first to speak, "So, is playing college ball always this bad?"

Julie laughs and wipes her face with a towel, "No. It's much worse than this. I'm taking it easy on you today!"Poor thing, she has no idea. Then again, most of us didn"t.

The girl lies flat out now, "Oh, shit! I'll never make it!"

Julie laughs, "Yes, you will. You're just not in college shape yet. What grade are you in?"

"Eleventh. And I don't know if I can get in that kind of shape in a year or two!"

"Just keep at it and you'll be fine. You already have a mean cross-over." Julie turns at the sound of the gym door opening. She nods towards Jackie and excuses herself, "Y'all have five minutes left. I suggest you stretch or you're really going to hate me." She takes a bottle of water and joins her teammate on the opposite end of the building, "What's up?"

"Just wanted you to know that Lissa's on her way. Coach is sending her to check on you." She shrugs, "Thought you'd want to know."

Shit.Julie nods and wipes her chin, "Yeah. Thanks." She fiddles with the top of her water bottle, "Did she seem okay?"

"Yeah," Jackie catches the girl's eyes, "she did. Whit, you're going to have to talk to her sooner or later. Please make it sooner."

The door across the gym opens and Julie asks without looking, "Is that her?"I can feel it"s her without asking.

Jackie nods and adds, "I'll see you later."

Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.Julie turns with a sigh, "Yeah. Later, Baits." She focuses her sight on the girls stretching in the middle of the floor, "Alright, ladies, let's get up and run some suicides. You know how it's done. Let's do ten."

The girls rise and begin their task with grumbles, allowing Julie time to talk to Lissa.

When the woman approaches, Julie's standing on the sideline, pretending she doesn't even see Lissa coming.

Lissa stands beside her and they watch the runners in silence for a few moments.God, give me strength.Not sure what to say, Lissa starts with something neutral, "Are they any good?"

Without facing the coach, Julie answers nonchalantly, "Yeah. Some of them are better than others, obviously. But I think they all have potential. Most of them are just out of shape." When Lissa doesn't respond she adds, "There are two seniors that show promise, though."

Genuinely curious, Lissa inquires, "Which ones?"

"Thankfully," Julie finally looks at the woman, "our recruits are the best two." She points out one of the runners, "That's Bridget. She's six-five and has big hands. The best thing about her is that she's fast." They watch Bridget beat her fellow runners by a full lap and Julie comments with appreciation, "Veryfast."

"I see."Breathe. God, she smel s good, even sweaty.She can feel Julie's eyes on her, but isn't ready to return the favor, "And who is the other one?"

Look at me, Lissa. Please.Julie points to another girl waiting in line, "Sue is the one in blue. She's five feet and change. Fast, good eyes, and really focused. I haven't heard one complaint out of her all day."

"That's always a good thing. Don't forget to let Coach know about them and anyone else we should be looking at in the future." She finally breaks down and shoots a look at the girl. When Julie meets her gaze she swallows hard, unsure of what to say, "Are you, uh, doing okay?"

She nods curtly and turns to face the woman completely, "Yeah. You?"

"Oh, I'm fine," Lissa lies and avoids eye contact.Keep it light. Just keep it light."I was just wondering if you need anything like water, towels, or…whatever. Is there anything I can get for you all?"

Look at me, damn it. Look at me.Julie shakes her head slowly, "No. I think we're fine.

We only have a couple more hours anyway."Lissa Norman, look at me!When eye contact isn't made, she sighs loudly, "Could you just talk to me?"

"What do you mean? Aren't we talking?"

Oh give me a fucking break!Julie throws her towel on the bottom bleacher, "You know what? Forget it. I don't need to be treated like I'm stupid. You know damn well what I'm talking about." She gets in Lissa's face, "And you and I both know there's something you need to say to me. I have already said enough, but you seem to need to get something off your chest." She turns away and then back again before Lissa can comment, "Be mad, get pissed, scream, shout, cry, or just talk to me! Butdon'twalk around me like I'm not here!" She doesn't notice the curious looks from her clinic participants, so she continues, her voice rising, "I know what I said to you was out of the blue and I probably shouldn't have told you because it was personal! But don't youdaremake me feel bad for feeling it!"

Whoa."I would never want to make you feel bad for feeling anything you might feel, Julie. I hope you don't think I'm trying to do something like that."

"Well you sure haven't tried to make me feel any better!" Breathless, Julie takes a seat.Fuck! Why do I have to care at al ?

Oh sweetheart!"Julie," Lissa sits beside her, "I haven't said anything because I thought it was best that I didn't respond at al . I thought you just unloaded something you needed to get off your chest and that I didn't have to or need to respond."

"Oh, that's mighty noble of you." Julie rolls her eyes, "Just ignore it and it'll go away, huh?"

"No!" That comment makes her defensive, "That isn't what I planned to do either. I just…" I don't have an explanation. Explaining why I felt it best to keep my comments to myself isn't something I'm able to do because I can't even explain it to myself.With a sigh, she admits, "I just didn't know what to say."

She seems to search Lissa's eyes for something. She doesn't find it and, in frustration, she stands, "Forget it. We're fine. Thanks for checking on us, coach." She turns to face the astonished girls and with a clap of her hands screams, "Get your minds back on the drill! There is nothing here to see!" Mumbling to herself, "There really isn't a damn thing to see except me making a fucking fool of myself." She calls them all to the middle of the court and tries to get her mind back on the clinic.

The girls assemble themselves around Julie, quietly speculating on what all the fussing was about. A cold chill comes over each girl when Julie addresses them, "Alright. You want to know what it's like to play college ball? Let's play some college bal ." She points as she speaks, "You, you, you, and you are on her team." She points at Sue, "You're the point for their team. Everyone else is with me. We'll go first. This is a full-on scrimmage." As Julie goes to the bleachers to change into her game shoes, she announces, "I'll give you a couple of minutes to get water and prepare yourselves. You'll need it."I need to get some of this out.

Let's see who can handle it.

Bridget smirks at Cassie, "This is going to be good."

Stretching her legs, Cassie laughs, "And what makes you think that it's going to be anything other than an ass whooping?"

"She's got some steam to blow off. And I've been waiting the better part of a year to get on a court with her and show her what I can do."

Cassie laughs, "Anger on her side plus neediness on your side equals a whole lot of trouble from my view."

Julie takes a seat and starts removing her shoes. After a moment, she addresses Lissa, "If you're going to leave, I'll go ahead and say good bye. If you're going to stay and watch, I ask that you not say anything. The last fucking thing I need is you throwing off the players and intimidating them."

Her demeanor chills Lissa to the bone but there's a hint of something else on her face.Okay, I get it. You"re hurt.It gives Lissa courage to lean back and reply, "I'm not going anywhere, Whit. I may not know what to say, but you're not going to scare me off that easily."

Her jaw clenches and her bottom lip quivers just slightly, but her voice is still tense,

"Fine. .whatever you want."Thank you. Thank you for staying. I don't real y want you to go.

As she walks away, Lissa's heart breaks with every step, "I don't know if I'll ever have what I want."

Chapter 15

Friday, February 11

Being chosen as captain of the alumni team for the Alumni game never was Lissa's dream job. Which is a good thing because she's not interested in that position, which would make her the "Coach" of the team. No, instead, she wanted the job of point guard and she got it. The team she coaches is now her opponent, even though they don't have a clue she's playing against them. The members of the "Alumni" team are a secret until the teams are introduced.

She wonders what they'll say when they see she's playing. And a smal part of her wonders what Julie's going to say when she sees who's been assigned to cover her. While waiting to be announced, she feels that old feeling she's missed so much. Just before a game, she blocks everything out. She goes into her head and sets her mind on the game and what she's got to do. She loaded old songs on her iPod. Listening to it now, she's feeling really good about the game. She catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror and smiles as she traces the number 20 on her jersey. In full game mode now, she wipes the smile off her face as she thinks about Julie.Get ready, Whit. This number is twice as high as yours because I'm twice as good. And you're about to feel it.

The announcer is readying the crowd for the introductions and as she lines up last, she can't stop the smile that spreads through her body.. but she manages to keep it off her face as they run through the tunnel one by one.Here we go.

* * *

Julie looks around the locker room for Lissa. She tries to be nonchalant about it, but the closer it gets to game time the more frantic the girl becomes. It's a superstition of hers to see the coach before she does warm-ups. She's afraid that if she doesn't they won't win.

She's still hurt over their last conversation but she'd be willing to let all that go if Lissa would just materialize. She finally breaks down and asks one of the security guards, "Where is Coach Norman? Have you seen her?"

The guard, knowing the opposing teams' members are a secret, simply answers, "I haven't seen her around."

Moments before the team is lead through the tunnel she looks around one last time, mumbling, "Please, Lissa. Where are you? I just want to see you." She hears her team mates'

names called one by one and is on the verge of tears when Jackie is introduced. She's next and hasn't seen Lissa yet, "Shit, where are you?" She hears her name cal ed and puts her game face on as she runs through the tunnel, slapping anonymous hands on the way.

The spotlight is on her as she goes to half court and awaits the Alumni team member who will play point for them and against her. She looks around casually for Lissa's face and doesn't see the woman. Then the announcer speaks, "And at guard for the Alumni team, a five foot, seven inch assistant coach for the Eagles from Carmen, Alabama, Lissaaaaaa Noormmaaaan!"

The crowd erupts as Lissa runs through the tunnel. She slaps hands but doesn't see faces. She high-fives the other members of her team and then trots to half court staring into Julie's eyes, "Good luck," she says to the stunned girl as she hugs her, "you're going to need it." She turns with a wave and catches a ball before putting up a perfect 3 point shot from almost half court.

The crowd erupts again and Julie realizes her feet haven"t moved. She turns and is met by Jackie, who exclaims, "Oh shit! She'splaying?" She looks from Julie to Lissa and back again before screaming, "She's playing againstyou?" The girl shakes her head, "I can'twaitfor this!" She laughs sadistical y and pats Julie on the shoulder, "Get ready, baby! This is the real deal!"

As they go through warm up drills, Julie watches Lissa. The woman is basketball poetry in motion. Every shot is perfect. Every throw is magical. Every no-look pass, screen set, and seam split is a thing of beauty. For the first time in a long time, Julie Whitney feels like she might lose a match-up. Coach calls her over just before tip-off and she has a feeling she knows what he wants to talk about.

"Listen, Julie," he begins, putting his hand on her shoulder, "I couldn't tell you Lissa was playing because it was a secret. Now that you know, you've got a scared to death look on your face. And yes, I won't lie; she's been working out for weeks, buffing up for this game.

She's been practicing hard and often. She knows every play we have and every move you're going to make. But the one thing you've got that she doesn't is confidence in your legs. She's scared of hers. Now, if you hurt her, I'll strangle you. But use her fear against her because it's the only weapon you have. Cut fast, run fast, play up tempo, and pray she gets tired or is so unsure of her legs that she doesn't guard you tight." She nods and he smiles at her, "But honestly, honey, the one thing I want you to do is watch her. I know you'll be staring at her.

But I want you towatchher. Watch how she runs a floor. Watch her hands and arms. She's the best that ever was, Julie. I know because I wanted her on my team. She is the best player I haveeverseen. This is a unique opportunity and you should take advantage of it.

Learn. I want you to win. .but I really want you to learn."

"Yes, sir," she smiles. "Do you think we can beat them?"

He laughs loudly, "Not a chance in hell, honey, but we can make them earn it!"

Unable to hold it, Julie laughs at him, "Damn, Coach, don't candy-coat it for me!"

"Oh, I'm not!” He laughs heartily, “It's gonna be nasty! Just hold on and hope you can still show your face around town when it's all over! That's what I'm gonna do!"

* * *

The Eagles jump out with a 10 point lead right off the bat, just like Lissa predicted when she talked to her team earlier. She knew she'd be a little rusty and nervous for the first few minutes. When Mandy's fouled and gets two free-throws 7 minutes into the game, she finds herself standing next to Julie.

Damn, you"re sexy when you sweat.The girl smirks, "You feelin' alright, ma'?"

Please, little one.Lissa regards her curtly, "I feel fine, Whit. You?"

"I feel great!" She smiles a beaming, cocky smile, "You ready to admit defeat yet?"

The coach looks over at the girl, "Defeat? The only feet you need to worry about are mine when I walk all over that cocky smirk on your face, Whitney."

"Oh,hel no!" Julie laughs heartily, "You trash talking me now, Norman?"

She eyes her opponent, "It's not trash talk if I can back it up."

"Oh yeah?Canyou back it up?"

"Oh yeah," she smirks, realizing that just that little bit of banter has eased all the nerves, "like a Mack truckal over your hopes of winning this damn game, baby." With that, she grabs the pass intended for her and takes off down the court fast as lightning. Julie doesn't catch up until the shot is through the net. Lissa laughs and bumps the girl's shoulder, "Don't be too mad,ma'. It ain't nothin' but a thing, right?"

Julie huffs, "Fuck."

Jackie grabs her around the waist, "Come on, it"s two points. Focus and let's do this!"

A few possessions later, Julie guards Lissa a little too tight and the woman lets her know it, "You need to get back, Whit." She dribbles forward and Julie doesn't move, "You can't stand there, Julie. If I go forward, you'll get the foul, not me."

Frustrated already, Julie grumbles, "Just fuckin' shoot or pass, Norman!"

"Fine," Lissa dribbles forward and takes a shot, knocking into Julie who fal s on the floor, causing the referee to blow the whistle for a foul. The shot goes in as the ref points at Julie, indicating she'll be charged with the foul.

"What?" Julie jumps up fuming, "What the fuck was that? She charged!"

"Julie, come on, step back," Jackie pulls at the girl's arm.

"She charged me!" Julie protests to her friend. The team surrounds her and she complains, "Did you see that?"

Jackie sighs, "Whit, she told you that you'd get the foul! What more could you possibly ask for? She's a coach who happens to know her stuff because she's a damn good player!"

Mandy laughs, "I can't believe how good she is! I am shocked!"

"Let's go, ladies, we can do this!" Jackie encourages them, "Go Eagles!" They break apart and line up for Lissa to take her free throws.

Moments later, Julie directs traffic and dribbles in front of Lissa. She surveys the floor and for a brief moment takes her eyes off her defender. Before she can even react, Lissa reaches out and swats the ball, leaving Julie cursing at her back, "Fuck!"

Lissa races to the other end of the court and gets an easy two points. She high fives her team mates with a smile, "Hell yeah! This feels so good!"

Melissa, who they call MJ, graduated from Whalen University three years ago. She runs up to Lissa and wraps her in a bear hug, "Damn, girl, you're somethin' else!" She shakes her head with a smile, "You aresofine when you shoot!"

She throws her head back and laughs, "Thanks, MJ! Are you hitting on me?"

MJ winks at her, "Do you want me to?"

Pointing at her new team mate, she smiles, "You're trouble. I feel it. You're nothing but trouble with a cute Aussie accent!"

Because she's covering Lissa, Julie manages to overhear this conversation and jealousy doesn't just nip at her heels, it latches onto her entire leg and won't let go. She presses against Lissa as Mandy brings the ball down the court. Her frustration is showing in the way she's using more force than necessary to block any passes.

MJ winks and smiles at Lissa, "Is that a problem, darlin'?"

Lissa giggles way too loud for Julie's taste, "Nah, I don't mind getting into a little trouble every now and again."

"Oh, bring it on, girl!" MJ laughs and focuses on the game.

Julie reaches back and grabs Lissa's shirt. The woman swats at her hand and tries to move around her. When Julie doesn't let go of her shirt, Lissa trips and falls to the floor hard, drawing a foul, "Fuck, Julie!" She stands abruptly and, in pure anger, gets in the girl's face, "What the hell?"

"What? You can't handle a little pressure?" Julie yells back, "Maybe if you'd keep your God damn attention on the game you wouldn't fall all over the place!"

MJ steps in between them, "Come on ladies, cool off."

Jackie, fuming, pulls Julie to the side, "What the hel are you doing?"

"She's not paying attention! I can't help it the bitch can't walk!"

Jackie cal s after Julie, who walks away, "Focus, Whit! Focus!"

With 15 seconds to go before halftime, the Alumni have the lead at 49-34. Julie brings the bal up the court and plans to run time down. She holds the ball over her head, looking for an open player.Come on! Come on!She spots Jackie and throws the ball.

Like she was spring-loaded, Lissa jumps up and grabs the ball in the air. By the time her feet hit hardwood again, she's running and laughing. Julie catches up and angrily swats at the bal as Lissa jumps to make her shot. Julie's body crashes into Lissa's and they both crash onto the floor. Immediately, fear shoots through Julie's body.. she landed on Lissa's legs.

Lissa screams in agony and rolls over onto her back because she can't get up on her knees. She begins to cry and screams, "Oh my God!" The trainers and medics rush to the woman and she tries to be brave, "I'm okay. I'm okay. Just get me up and I'll be fine." When a medic grabs her leg, she screams, "Oh my God! Don't!"

He mumbles to a trainer, "I think the knee is popped out of joint. I can get it back in during the half, but let's take her off the court right now."

Two trainers pick Lissa up and the crowd cheers as they carry her off the court.

Amazingly, Julie isn't cal ed for a foul, but she might as well have been ejected from the game. Mentally she's not doing well. She blindly walks to Coach's side when he calls her to him.Shit. Do not cry here. Do not cry, Whitney.She prepares for a good, hard lecture.

He puts his hands on her shoulders, "Julie, look at me." When she looks up, he holds her gaze, "She'll be fine." Her bottom lip starts to tremble and he asks quietly, "Do you want to go on to the locker room?" She nods slightly but quickly and he says, "Go on. We'll be there in a minute." The last part of that sentence is spoken to her back, as she's already running to the locker room.

* * *

The trainer smiles at Julie a little when the girl runs through the door to the locker room, "We set the joint back. She's fine now, not even in that much pain. She's a trooper."

Julie breathes a sigh of relief with her eyes closed, "Thank God." Then she asks, "May I see her?"

He looks over his shoulder at Lissa in the training room, "I don't care, but she might."

He pats her on the shoulder and leaves the two women alone.

She approaches the door cautiously, "Lissa?"

"What are you doing here?" Her voice is tight but it's anger, not sexual tension.

Wow, she"s pissed.She hesitates a moment, "Well, I wanted to come and say I'm sorry."

"Why?" She doesn't wait for an answer, "If I were a Tennessee player or a Connecticut player, would you be standing at that door right now?"

The girl's eyes drop to the floor, "No."

"Then what thehel are you doing here?"

Julie's voice rises a bit in frustration, "I want to apologize for being an ass! And even though I wouldn't come and apologize to a Tennessee player or a Connecticut player, I'dwantto!"

"There are a lot of things I want to do," Lissa states, sliding off the exam table gently,

"but I don't do them because I know better. You made an adult decision on that floor that hurt an opponent. That's al you did. Forget that it was me you did it to. If I were anyone else on any other team, you'd probably be bragging."

"Yes, but you'renotany player on any other team! And anyway, you're treating me with kid gloves! I know you could have 30 points by now! I'm not an idiot, Lissa! But you're prancing around me like I'm a newborn! If you're going to lecture me about not being so soft, I'll fucking lecture you about not being hard enough!"

You have no idea what you"re asking for, little girl.Lissa shakes her head, "Whit, you don't want me to play hard."

"Yeah," Julie nods and takes a step closer to Lissa, "I do. You want me to play fair and treat you like anyone else? You do the same damn thing."

She studies the girl's face a moment and then nods, "Fine." She brushes past the girl and growls, "You better watch yourself, Whit. I'm about to hand you your ass by pulling it up yourthroat."

Chapter 16

Friday, February 11

War,Julie thinks,this must be what it's like to be in a war. She's three minutes into the second half and Lissa's already stolen the ball from her four times. She's made two blocks that were perfection. And now she's staring the woman in the face wondering what stroke of genius her body can come up with next. Never mind that she looks hot when she's sweaty and in a jersey!

Lissa surveys the court, finds an open player and executes a perfect, jaw-dropping, crowd-on-their-feet no-look pass to MJ for an easy shot. She laughs freely, enjoying the feeling of being "on". She's missed playing. When she gets back down the court and looks into Julie's eyes, she notices the spark is gone and it breaks her heart a little.Alright, make this one and maybe that"ll get something started for y"al .

She notices when Lissa takes a step back. And that pisses her off, "Don't you fuckingdare," she says, just loud enough for Lissa to hear. She stares into the woman's eyes,

"Fair and square, Norman."

Lissa sighs, "Just take the shot, Julie." She doesn't close in on her, even though Julie asked. "Just take the God damn shot and get on with life."

Julie shoots a look at her coach and defiantly turns to the ref, "Time." Once the time out is called, she hands the bal to the ref and turns to Lissa, who is too stunned to move,

"When this time out is over, don't get back on this court unless you plan to mop the fucking floor with me." She turns and walks away.

"What the hell?" Lissa asks no one in particular.

MJ wraps an arm around her waist and guides her to the bench, "She's young and in love with you."

Oh shit.Lissa shakes her head, "She"s a teenager with, at most, a crush. She isnotin love with me."

The woman smirks but looks her in the eye, "Yes, Lissa, she is. She is blindly, madly, passionately, and understandably in love with you."

Lissa takes a seat and covers her head with a towel. As their coach gives tips to the players around her, she replays her last encounter with Julie. In a mindless moment, she stands and stalks to half court in front of the press box to scream, "Whit!"

Julie leans forward, her face showing total confusion, "What?"

Angrily, she points at the floor, "Here!Now!"

"Coach?" Julie asks for permission. When it is granted, she meets the woman, "What?"

"Why?"

Huh?Julie studies the woman's eyes, "Why what?"

"Why do you want me to mop the floor with you?"

The girl puts her hands on her hips, "Because if we win this, I want to be able to brag."

Do not play stupid with me, Whit."You're not going to win this damn game, Julie! And you know that. So why do you want me to mop the floor with you?"

She tries to answer that question for herself and gives the only one she can find, "I never know what you feel. You don't tell me because you think you can't. But tonight, when you let go out there," she points to the court, "I know it's real. The smile, the laugh, the giggle, al of that's real. That's you showing me how you feel. And that makes you more beautiful than you've ever been to me, even if I have to have my ass handed to me to see it."

She swal ows back a bit of emotion, "I don't want to lose to anyone but you."

In a moment of honesty, and hoping she doesn't regret it later, Lissa confesses, "I don't want her, Julie."

Her mouth opens as she exhales a breath she didn't know she'd held, "No?"Thank God.

She shakes her head, "No."

Julie's eyes drop to the floor for just a moment and when she looks back up, her face is a little softer, "She wants you."

The corner of Lissa's mouth raises in a slight grin and she winks, "Doesn't everyone?"

The smile, the one that makes Lissa's heart flop, is unstoppable even though Julie looks at the floor when she nods, "Yeah, I suppose most folks do." She shrugs and looks back up, "I don't know why, though, because you need to work on that fade-away shot. It'snasty.

You should just cut that out altogether."

Lissa chuckles and starts to back away, "Oh, it's nasty, huh? Not your favorite?" When Julie shakes her head and begins backing away as well, she calls out, "I'll show you nasty.

Watch me. . you'll see nasty."

"Bring it, old lady!" She turns with a sigh and takes her place in the huddle.Bring it, baby. I want to see everything you got.

* * *

The two women find themselves taking a moment to catch their breath as Mandy takes yet another set of free throws. With their hands on their knees and their faces turned to the floor, they stand silent for only a moment.

With a laugh, Julie asks, "What the hell did they give you?"

"Huh?" Lissa shoots her a curious look.

"Back in the training room, what did they give you? Crack?"

She chuckles, "No! What makes you think they gave me crack?"

"Because you're running around here like you have a lit match in your asshole!"

Chuckling turns into an outright laugh, "Julie! Damn!" She wipes sweat off her forehead, "I amnoton crack!" She looks over at the girl and their eyes lock, "I'm just feeling good." Tired as hell, but feeling really good.Almost as good as you look, smiling at me with those eyes.

She nods, not breaking their gaze, "And you look good." She points with her chin,

"How's the knee?"

"It's okay. I'm not scared of it any more. If I fall," she looks into the girl's face, "I'm going to go down playing."

"Ah," the girl waves that idea away with a flick of her hand, "you ain't going down!

Fucking hell, you're killing me!"

"Am I too much for you, sweetheart?"

"Ok," Julie stands back up for a moment and tucks the end of her jersey back into her shorts, "now, see, that's got implications of other things and we're just playing ball here, baby."

Lissa reaches out quickly and untucks the girl's shirt with a laugh, "Just playing bal , huh?"

Julie swats at her hand but misses, "Hey!" She laughs and takes a step forward, "If you want, you can take the thing off. All you had to do was ask."

As Mandy takes her last free throw, Lissa winks, "I don't ask, Whit. I'm the coach.

You'll do what I tell you." She bumps the girl's shoulder as she passes and smiles wickedly.

Julie closes her eyes for just a moment and breathes, "Damn."Yes, ma"am!

* * *

With 23 seconds left in the game, the score is decidedly in the Alumni's favor, 76-64.

Julie, disappointed and feeling rather irritated since MJ seems to have turned on the Aussie charm, stands at half court waiting on the game to resume. Lissa called a time out and went to talk to both coaches. She turns on her heel and makes a beeline for Julie, "Hey, come here."

Oh shit."What?" Confused, Julie takes a few steps forward.

Lissa smiles, "I challenge you to a three point shooting contest. We shoot as many threes as possible in the time left."

The idea is insane, but Julie can't help being tempted, "Did the coaches agree?"

"Yes," she eyes the girl. When she gets no immediate reaction, she tries the one thing she knows will get under the girl"s skin, "You don't have to do it if you're too scared."

"Scared?" Julie scoffs, "I am not scared!"

Taunting her and backing away, "Then come on, playah."

MJ claps her hands wildly as the announcer clues the arena in on the plan, "Oh this is gonna be great!" The teams instinctively separate themselves into lines on either side of the court. She shouts encouragement to Lissa, "You got this, Lissa!" She trots over to the woman and playfully rubs her shoulders, "You got this! You're the queen of threes, baby!"

Lissa laughs and waves the woman away, "I can't concentrate with you doing that!" As MJ takes her place on the side, Lissa looks at Julie, "You okay?"

Other than wanting to shove a stick up that woman"s ass and roast her over a fire, I'm just fine.She nods but doesn't smile, "Do we shoot at the same time?"

"Nah, let's alternate whether it makes it or not."

Finally, she smiles, "Okay. You go first. You know, age before beauty."

"Oh," Lissa laughs loudly, "now you got jokes, huh?" She dribbles but doesn't look at the basket. When she pulls the bal up, she closes her eyes and shoots. As the ball swishes through she opens her eyes, "Go!"

They put up ball after ball, some miss, some go through the net so smooth they don't even shake it. In the end, the score is 103-88. When the buzzer sounds on the end of the game, Julie hangs her head in disgust. As the alumni team congratulates each other on the court, the Eagles make their way to the tunnel. When they reach the locker room door, everyone files in except Julie, who disappears around the corner and down the hallway between the visitor and home locker rooms.

* * *

She takes deep breaths, trying to calm her nerves and closes her eyes to keep the tears at bay. Leaning with her back against the wall, she gives herself a pep talk.It's just a game, Julie. Breathe.The images of Lissa and MJ flash through her head and, with every frame she comes undone just a little bit more.Jesus, Whit! Get it together!Fuck, you're not a child!She can hear the other team as they file down their own tunnel and into their locker room. They talk excitedly about going out and having dinner together and she wonders if Lissa will join them. When she hears the conversation that answers her question, she slides, sobbing, down the wal .

"Hey, Lissa!" MJ calls after the woman from the locker room door, "Are you coming to eat with us?"

She turns, smiling, "Sure! I just have to take care of something."

"Ok!" With a beaming smile, MJ disappears into the locker room.

Lissa turns on her heel and rounds the corner towards the home team locker room. She sees a figure sitting against the wall.Julie?She rushes forward and kneels by the girl, "Julie?

Are you okay?"

The girl looks up, "Oh, shit." She shakes her head and tries to hide the tears but it's useless, "Fuck, what are you doing?"

In a bit of a panic, Lissa asks, "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"I'm just crying, damn!" Her irritation is a product of being caught in a weak moment, not really with Lissa.Just go away, please, I don't want you to see me like this. Unless you're going to let me pul you into me, wrap my arms around you and melt al over you, I need you to back off.

Lissa asks again, gently, "What's wrong, Whit? Please talk to me." When Julie moves to stand, Lissa puts her body over her, "I'm not moving." She wraps her arms around the girl's waist and hugs her, "I'm not moving. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings and challenged you. I'm sorry the team lost." She can feel the girl shaking a bit.Cry, baby, get it out.

"I'm-" Julie begins but Lissa cuts her off.

"I'm sorry."

"Plea-"

"I'm sorry."

The girl begins to tremble under the weight of not crying when she really needs to,

"Don't d-"

"I'm sorry." When the first sob shakes the girl's body, Lissa takes a deep, relieved breath, "Let it go, Julie. I don't know what it's about and I don't care. Just let it go, baby."

She holds the girl close and rocks her from side to side as she cries.

She cries every ounce of disappointment, anger, and regret into Lissa's shoulder.

When she's cried all she needs to cry, she pulls back and looks up into Lissa's eyes.Oh, Lissa, I wish like hel I could tel you al the things I feel but, shit, you got me so scared that I can't even think about saying the words! I want you so damn bad.

Unprepared for the emotions that await her, Lissa looks down into Julie's eyes.Oh God, have mercy.She strokes the girl's cheek and realizes her own breathing is harder than it was before.Kiss her. Just fucking do it.She swallows hard and whispers, "Julie, I want to kiss you.

Is that okay?"

Yes! Yes!She breathes, "Please."

When their lips touch, it's too much and not enough. It's hard and soft, light and dark, hot and cold, in and out, and neither of them wants to stop. The kiss that was supposed to be an innocent "first kiss" becomes a heated dispute between tongues. As they duel for position, moans and sighs echo in the hall. Lissa finds herself being pulled into Julie's lap. Julie feels the woman's hands just under the hem of her jersey. Hot skin and cold fingertips. Wet lips and even wetter tongues. Gasps and groans. Touch and feel. Arch and bow. More and more.

And when it's all over, they part without words, each stopping around their team"s corner to catch their breath. Neither sure of what's going to happen but both willing to do whatever it takes to have a million more of those "first kisses".

Chapter 17

Thursday, March 3

With her head down and eyes closed, Julie adjusts the ear bud in her ear. She taps her foot to the beat of the song playing on her iPod. Within moments, she's bobbing her head and mouthing the words. This is her routine. Most athletes use music to pump themselves up before a game and Julie Whitney is certainly no exception.

Lissa watches the girl from the open door of the locker room office.Shit, when I was your age, I'd have flipped out to have someone like you. Damn!A slow smile emerges as she picks up the rhythm of the song and begins to bob her head just slightly.Those blue eyes, strong shoulders, cut arms, etched stomach, curvy hips, and long legs are a package just meant for deliciously evil things! And my God the things I'd do to you! I'd cover every inch of you so wel people would think we're twins!She stares at Julie for the length of the song without realizing Coach Allen's watching her. When she turns back to him, she instantly flushes red, "I'm sorry. Were you talking to me, coach?"

He smiles and tells a small lie, "No, I was staring off into space like you."

Thank God!"It's about that time. I'll rally the troops." When the girls gather around, Julie's eyes land on Lissa and stay there. The woman can feel the stare and it makes her nervous.Jesus, is she undressing me with her mind? Hel , I can't complain. .I was doing the same thing earlier.She tries to focus on the game ahead.

You know I'm watching you. Look at me, Lissa.Julie shifts in her chair and laces up her shoes, talking to Lissa in her head.Just one glance, baby. I need to know you think about me, too.She fights a shiver as her body remembers what it was like to kiss the woman. A cold wall against her back, warm tears on her cheek, hard concrete under her tired legs, and a soft woman in her lap. .she takes a long, deep breath and exhales it slowly. When she looks back up, she's more than ready for the game ahead.

* * *

Waiting to pass through the tunnel, Julie is bumped hard from behind. "What the hell?" When she whirls around, she's looking into Jenny's face, "Do you have a problem?"

"No," the girl smirks, "other than the one I'm looking at."

You taste as bad as your attitude.She struggles against giggling at her own thoughts and addresses the girl, "You're wrong, Jenny, I'm not the biggest problem you have." She leans in to whisper, "Remember I used to be the one who took care of those littleproblemsyou have every once in a while. But since I'm no longer in the shit-taking business, you're going to have to deal with those problems yourself or find another bitch to try handling it. Because I willnevergo there again."Hel , I regret every trip I took there!

Jenny's voice is low and just barely audible, "You aren't invited to ever go there again.

You never did it right to start with."

The laugh that erupts from Julie's chest seems to shake the wal s of the tunnel, "Are youkiddingme?" She bends in half laughing, causing some of her team members to look, "I didn't do it right?" She looks Jenny in the face again, "So when you scratched the paint off the wall I wasn't even close? Or when you cut your palmthrougha bed sheet from clenching your fists so tight, I wasn't hitting the spot? Or how about when-"

Oh my God!"Ok, girls," Lissa's voice cuts her off. And, although she's pretty sure the lights aren't bright enough for the girls to see it, her face is blushing bright red. The announcer signals their entrance and she motions for them to run but holds Julie back. She fights the smile off until Julie looks at her.

"Yeah, coach?"Oh shit, you're beautiful. Focus Whit! Damn!

She bites her bottom lip and doesn't meet Julie's eyes.It will be inappropriate for me to laugh. I can't laugh. This is not funny at al , Lissa.Her jaw clenches and she looks up at the ceiling as she swal ows hard. Then, without a drop of reserve left, she bursts laughing, "She clawed the paint off the wall!"

Julie's own face breaks into a laugh, "Hell yeah she did!" She brushes her shoulder off,

"I got mad skills!" She falls back onto the wall laughing, "Jesus, I probably shouldn't have said that, huh?"

Holding her aching right side, Lissa can't stop laughing, "Oh my God that's funny!" She wipes a tear off her cheek and blinks rapidly to squelch any other drips. "Shit, Julie! I should reprimand you or something but I don't know that I can."Jenny started it anyway.

"Wellshestarted it!" Julie points in the general direction of the court.Go get her! Or take me to the locker room and punish me.

Lissa looks towards the court, "You better get out there. Your fans are waiting." She turns back to Julie only to find that she's barely a foot away. The intense look on the girl's face makes her a little nervous.Oh shit. What does she want now?

The girl reaches out and wipes a tear from Lissa's cheek and notices the woman's sharp breath. She gives her best seductive smile and asks, "Think I could make you claw paint?"

She swal ows hard, "I think you can do anything you put your mind to, Julie."Including me.

The young woman smiles as she backs away, "Oh, but baby I wouldn't stop at using my mind. There are other things I'd want to use."And with that, she exits the tunnel.

To herself, Lissa mumbles with a smile, "I bet mine are bigger."

* * *

At halftime, Julie approaches Lissa in the locker room, holding an ice pack in her hand,

"Coach, can you help me?" She watches for the woman's reaction.Go on and ask me what I need help with. I'l give you the whole fucking list, just ask!

Mayday! Do not respond with sexual innuendo! Calm down, Lissa. Breathe. Just breathe.With one eyebrow raised, the coach smiles, "Sure." She takes the ice pack and Julie holds her hand out. As Lissa wraps an ace bandage around the ice pack to secure it to Julie's hand she softly asks, "We're up by forty." She glances at the girl's face, "Are you satisfied with the level of play?"

"Yeah, I am." She smiles at the woman, "Are you?"

"Oh, I think you're doing just fine!" She sighs and examines her progress, "I suck at wrapping!"

Julie chuckles and mocks Lissa, "Oh, I think you're doing just fine!"

Lissa reaches out and playfully pokes Julie in the stomach causing the girl to giggle.

She finishes taping, "You and Jenny are going to start the second half together. Is that going to be a problem?"

Her blue eyes get strangely darker when Julie answers, "It better not be."

* * *

A player, more than a foot taller than her, cuts in front of Julie at a dead run and with the bal .Ohhellno you don't!She pursues and, as the girl puts up what should have been an easy layup, Julie Whitney comes from behind to swat it away from the basket and into the hands of a fellow Eagle. Her feet hit the floor but she doesn't feel it.Not up in my house, bitch!Mere moments later, she's got the ball again and is putting up a perfect three-point shot.

As those points are added to their score, the opposing team calls for a time out. Julie, breathing hard but smiling brightly, makes eye contact with Lissa and winks.I see you looking Mama. Go ahead, I ain't gonna stop you.She takes her seat and wipes her face with the offered towel. She only half listens as coach cal s plays and "tweaks" things. She can smell Lissa standing behind her. She closes her eyes and slowly leans back in her chair. When she's fully reclined, a smile slowly spreads across her face.

Lissa watches as the girl leans back. She laughs in her head. Julie's ponytail just barely rests against Lissa's stomach.I know what you're doing and I think I might die from how cute you are right now.She doesn't look at the girl, but can imagine Julie's face when she allows her fingers to lightly graze the back of Julie's neck.She shivered!Lissa has to bite her bottom lip to keep from laughing out loud.Oh my God, Julie Whitney, you're going to be the death of me.

Fuck me!Julie's body vibrates with the shiver Lissa's fingers create.Holy Jesus behind Heaven's Gate, protect the woman behind me from the woman inside me!"What?" Julie's eyes pop open when she realizes her name's been called, "Yeah?" She leans forward, chill bumps still spread all over, and tries to focus.God damn, I'm al fucked up now! Thanks, coach!When the huddle breaks, she turns to Lissa and whispers, "Thanks a lot."

"What?" Lissa plays innocent and smiles, "I didn't do anything!"

Julie leans in to whisper in Lissa's ear, "Just remember," her voice, low and husky, makes her breath hot against Lissa's rapidly boiling skin, "payback is a bitch." She pretends to moan in Lissa's ear, "Lissa. ." She watches Lissa's chest as she takes a sharp, startled breath.Oh yeah, I'l have you al over my fingers in no time!Julie smiles and, with her lips actually touching the coach's ear, "And her name is Julie, baby." She turns on her heel and walks away.

Before she notices the pain, Lissa realizes she's clenched her fists so tightly she might be drawing blood. When she uncurls her fingers, they ache. She takes a slow breath but looks up to see Julie staring at her with a smirk. She shivers under the gaze of those blue eyes.Dear Jesus, be a straightjacket. .because my gayjacket is horny as hel !

Chapter 18

Saturday, March 19

Oh shit.Julie"s drink stops mid-air, “She"s supposed to come tonight?”

Jana nods, “Yeah. She"ll be here in a few minutes. Somebody said she was bringing alcohol. I doubt she"d do that, but you never know.” Jana takes a swig of her drink, “Why?”

Julie shrugs, “No reason.” She pats Jana on the shoulder, “I"m going to go in the living room and chill a minute. See ya later, okay?”

“Sure.”

Julie makes her way to the living room where the music is going full blast. She passes couples dancing very close to one another and wishes she had someone to dance with. Even though she doesn"t think she can dance very well, having that closeness and sharing that heat with another person would be wonderful right about now. She nods at a few of her teammates and smiles at everyone who makes eye contact. As she enters the main dancing area, she spots an empty couch and decides that would be a perfect place to sit and watch…people and the door.

Finding out that Lissa was going to be there tonight wasn"t a big surprise for her, but it"s enough to make her heart beat a little harder and faster. She takes a seat on the couch and slouches down, legs spread and her elbow on the arm, holding her cup. She tries to talk herself into relaxing.Just breathe. It's just Lissa. She's just a girl.Pretty soon her head"s bobbing to the beat of the song playing. She catches Mandy looking at her and laughs. She knows she must look terribly silly sitting there all alone „couch dancing". When the door opens, though, her heart and head stop moving.

Lissa pokes her head through the door and surveys the room. She steps through the door and her gaze falls on Jackie. She smiles and yells over the music, “Hey! Where do I put my jacket?”

“I"ll help you.” The girl takes her jacket and puts it in the closet, “Is it still freezing out there?”

“Hell yes! God, I thought it was bad in Tennessee!”

“Yeah, this is humid cold. It gets into your bones.” The girl smiles and points in the general direction of the kitchen, “The drinks are that way. Go pick something and come right back. You have to dance with us!”

Lissa laughs, “I"ll need to fix myself a drink first, but I"ll be back soon, I promise!”

Jackie laughs, “Okay!”

Lissa makes her way towards the door between the living room and dining room, and the kitchen is just beyond that. The dining area is full of people and some of them are unfamiliar to her. She weaves her way through, though. As she gets to the kitchen, a hand falls on her shoulder, making her look back. She smiles, “Hi, Gretch!”

Gretchen, who is slightly buzzed, smiles back, “Hey coach! What did you bring to drink?” She peers into Lissa"s bag, “Ooooh! Wait.” She pulls the bottle out and exclaims,

“Pepsi!”

Lissa laughs, “Contrary to popular belief, just because I"m old enough to drink doesn"t mean that I do.”

“You don"t drink?” This clearly has boggled Gretchen"s mind.

“Nope. It doesn"t thrill me like it does other people.” Lissa finds a clean plastic cup and fills it with ice, “I used to drink a little when I was twenty-one, but as soon as I turned twenty-four, I was done.” She pours herself a glass of Pepsi and twists the top back on the bottle, “Cheers!” She holds up her glass and Gretchen taps it with her beer bottle.

“Cheers!” Gretchen turns on her heel and leaves the kitchen, almost running into Julie on her way out, “Oops, damn. Sorry Whit.”

Julie moves out of the way, “No problem, Gretch.” As the girl passes her, Julie makes eye contact with Lissa, “Hey.” She gulps, her breath shallow, “How are you?”

Holy shit she looks good! I will not get goosebumps. I will not--damn!Lissa notices her own blood pressure rising, “I"m alright. You?”

Julie nods and leans her back against the counter opposite the woman, “I"m alright.”If you don't count that I can't breathe because you walked in the door. Or how you're the most beautiful woman in this house and I can't fucking touch you.

“You had a great game today. Think you"re ready for the NCAA tournament?” Lissa takes a long drink of her Pepsi.God I am so damn thirsty now! Is it hot in here?

“Thanks.” Julie shrugs, “I don"t know, I haven"t been to one. Not even as a visitor. It"ll be something to remember, I"m sure.” She looks Lissa over from head to toe, wanting to memorize what she looks like at an unplanned event. Most of the time Lissa has her hair done, her makeup on, and she"s perfectly pressed. Tonight she has on a baggy tan sweater that sets off her honey colored eyes and goes great with her jeans. Her sandy blonde hair is pulled back in a ponytail, and she has on the slightest hint of lip-gloss. Even from where Julie stands, she can smell her.She smel s like cinnamon and sugar. No wonder I have the urge to eat the woman alive.

“Yeah. It"ll be memorable, that"s for sure.” Lissa sees Julie looking at her, but she chooses to ignore it. She crosses her arms in front of her and then realizes that"s not comfortable, so she puts one hand in her jeans pocket and the other holds her drink down by her side. She clears her throat, “So, is everyone else here?”

A slow smile spreads across Julie"s face.She's actual y blushing!“Nah. Jenny"s not here yet.”Ok, Whitney, grow a set and make the woman dance.She extends her hand for Lissa to take, “Come on. Let"s go back to the living room. They"ll be ready to dance with you right about now.”

Lissa looks at the hand held out in front of her. She"s looked at those hands a thousand times. Like that time in December when they thought Julie had broken her finger. And the time she"d cut it on a piece of glass on that old gym floor. Now, with it held out for her to take, it looks different somehow. It"s not something to be examined or thought about, really.

Now it"s more of an offering to be enjoyed and experienced. Without a second thought, she takes it, “Alright, if I must.”

Julie smiles and squeezes her hand gently, “Don"t be scared.” She begins leading the woman through the dining room.

Lissa comes right up behind Julie and yells to her, “I"m not scared. You"re going to dance with me, so there"s no reason to be frightened.”

Julie stops and turns her head to look behind her. Electricity shoots between their eyes and Julie knows there is no way in hell she"s going to let Lissa out of her sight.I'm not gonna let you go long enough to dance with anyone else. She nods, “Alright.” She moves again and pulls Lissa into the living room.

The song is just fading out, but the beats pick up again as it melts into another song.

Mandy notices the two and grabs her dance partner, moving over to make room, “Welcome!

Welcome!”

Lissa laughs and leans towards Mandy, “I can"t dance for shit!”

"Right! Like you couldn't sing!" Mandy shoots a knowing look at Julie, “That"s alright.

She"ll take care of you. I promise.”

Out of Lissa"s sight, Julie gives Mandy a wink and then, as if she has no fear, reaches out and snakes her arm around Lissa"s waist, “Alright old lady, show me what you got.”

Lissa laughs nervously as she drapes her arm, the one without a drink, over Julie"s shoulder, “I don"t got much, so watch fast.”

Julie laughs and begins to move against her. When Lissa matches her movement she nods, “That"s it. See? You"re doing fine!”

Lissa concentrates on the buttons of Julie"s shirt, or anything to keep her from looking up into those eyes. She knows what she"ll see if she looks into them: adoration, lust, and perhaps even love. And though she wants that more than anything in the world, she just feels that it"s not right to want that from a student. So she focuses on the mundane as she dances.

She memorizes the feel of Julie"s long sleeve, button down shirt. It"s white with thin blue vertical stripes. Under it she has on a tank top the same color blue as the stripes. The tank is tucked into a pair of loose fitting jeans. Her long legs end in a pair of brown boots. Her dark hair is pulled back in a tight ponytail. No makeup, for Julie"s beautiful without help. She"s got all her earrings in tonight. There are 4 in her left ear lobe, 5 in the right ear lobe, one in the left cartilage at the top and 2 in the right. Without thinking about it, Lissa"s eyes fall on the necklace around Julie"s neck. It"s a small silver heart on a silver chain. She decides to make that the topic of conversation. She looks up, “Who gave you that necklace?”Ah shit, mistake!Somehow Lissa had missed that Julie had bent down so that their heads were inches apart. So when she looks up, she"s looking right into those piercing blue eyes. Lissa gulps hard.

Julie smiles at her, “My dad.”Please let me kiss you again. Please? Please don"t ask to dance with someone else. I want to keep you right here. Please don"t stop looking into my eyes. If you give me 30 more seconds without saying anything, I swear I"ll work up the nerve to kiss you. Hold it. Hold it. Please don"t look away.Julie"s head begins to lower towards Lissa"s.

Sexual instinct kicks in for Lissa and she closes her eyes, anticipating the kiss. Her brain is not considering the consequences. Her brain isn"t functioning much at al . She tilts her head back, giving every physical indication that she wants a kiss just as much as Julie wants to give her one.

“Whit!” The voice, Jenny"s voice, calls out over the music. She"s standing on the stairs,

“Hey Whit!”

Who in the hel …?Julie, who had closed her eyes just moments prior to the interruption, opens them in frustration, “What?”

Lissa, having been snapped out of her reverie, pulls away from Julie. Her mind kicks back in.Oh shit! You almost kissed her! Fuck! Abort! Get out! Now!

Julie, furious and seeing red, steps past Lissa without thinking and goes straight to the stairs. She storms past Jenny, pulling the girl up the stairs with her, “Come here.” She growls, “Now!”

Jenny smiles evilly, “Oh, I just love it when you get demanding!”

Lissa shivers as she watches the girls stomp up the stairs. Julie"s anger is almost palpable to her and she wonders if anyone else can feel it. She looks at her glass and notices that it"s almost empty. Suddenly she"s hit with the urge to escape. She stops Mandy who is headed for the kitchen, “Where is the bathroom?”

Mandy points, “Top of the stairs, to the left.” Lissa looks upset by that answer, so Mandy adds, “Don"t worry about her. She"ll be fine. She can hold her own. And don"t worry about breaking up the argument. We do it all the time.” She smiles reassuringly and says, “Go on. Go pee, girl!” She laughs, “Don"t hold back! Go on!” She pushes Lissa towards the stairs.

Lissa mounts the stairs slowly, the sounds of music fading with each step higher. As the music gets quieter, the sounds of arguing become louder. She finds the bathroom and quickly sneaks inside. She finds the light switch and closes the door behind her, pressing herself against it shakily.Breathe.Maybe no one else saw. Just breathe Liss.

Julie shoves Jenny into the first empty room at the top of the stairs, “What the hell are you doing? Are you trying to fucking ruin my life?” She can"t help screaming. She"s shaking, she"s so upset, “I"m so damn tired of you trying to run my life! Why can"t you just get it through your thick skull that I don't want you anymore?”

Jenny"s face disintegrates into tears, clearly having had more than a few drinks, “I"m sorry, Julie, I just love you so much.” She reaches out for a hug, but she receives no sympathy from Julie.

“I don"t give a shit how much you think you love me! You obviously didn"t love me enough to not cheat on me with half the fucking soccer team!” She begins to pace, “We"re going to take care of this tonight. This shit has got to stop. And I mean it!”

Jenny sobs, “But don"t you love me? Did you ever love me?”

“Jenny, I don"t know what I felt for you. But I can tel you right now it"s nothing compared to what I feel right now. But it"snotfor you!”

Almost instantly Jenny"s tears dry, “Who are you in love with?”

Oh God in Heaven, don't play stupid! “As if you don"t know. Don"t play dumb with me, damn it!”

“So the rumors are true? You"re fucking Coach Norman?” Jenny"s voice raises a couple of octaves now, “Is that what it is? You"re fucking the coach? I"m sure that"s against some rule somewhere!”

Lissa can barely make out the words before, but she heard these clearly.Oh no!She swings open the door and stomps out into the hallway. She listens for movement and looks for lights to determine which room the girls are in. When she figures it out, she stops just before knocking. Julie"s voice comes through the door loud and clear.

“I am not fucking anyone! And it"s none of your God damn business who I feel what for!

Furthermore, even if I did have feelings for Coach Norman, it"s not like I have a chance in hell! So you can stop whatever conspiracy you have forming in your head.” Julie puts her hands on her hips, “I mean it, Jennifer Moers. Don"t you fucking push me.”

Lissa gulps, and mutters to herself, “Oh shit.”

Jenny matches Julie"s stance, “And what do you think you"re going to do to me if Idohave a plan to get back at that tramp?”

Julie has to physical y shove her hands in her pockets to keep from tearing Jenny"s eyeballs out of their sockets.I"ll kill you.ButI'm not tel ingyouthat.Her heart works quicker than her mind and she comes up with the only thing she can hold against Jenny to keep her from doing permanent damage to Lissa, “I"ll tell your parents that you"re gay.”

Jenny"s eyes narrow, “You wouldn"t dare.”

Julie steps up to Jenny, inches away, and drops her voice to growl, “You have no idea what I"m capable of if you truly fuck with me, Jenny. I"m one of the best people you"ll ever know. But if you fuck me over, prepare to receive a similar fucking.”

Jenny swallows hard, “You would tel my parents? Knowing that they"d cut me out of their lives and never speak to me again?”

Julie challenges, “Do you really want to find out?”

Jenny shivers and drops her eyes to the floor, defeated. “No, I don"t.” She sighs,

“Fine. I"ll leave you alone.” She looks up into Julie"s eyes, “But I do love you.” She makes her way to the door and Julie's voice stops her.

“Jenny, I don"t doubt you love me as much as you can. Unfortunately for the both of us, that just simply isn"t enough for me.” She clenches her jaw against the image of Jenny's tears, “And we have an understanding about coach?”

Jenny mumbles, “Yeah. We do.”

Julie watches as the girl leaves the room. She sighs loudly and takes a seat on the bed.

She closes her eyes, trying to conjure up the image of Lissa with her head tilted back, ready for a kiss. When it doesn"t come instantly, she lies back on the bed and tries to relax.

Lissa watches from the shadows as Jenny glides down the stairs. She listens intently for sounds of Julie exiting the room, but the girl doesn"t immediately come out, Lissa peeks around the corner. The door isn"t closed completely and Lissa can see Julie sitting on the bed, head bent and shoulders slumped. When the girl stretches out on the bed, Lissa takes a couple of tentative steps towards the door.

Julie scratches her forehead; a hair is tickling her there. She reaches up and plans on tucking it behind her ear, but when she does, something outside the door catches her eye.

She squints, “Who"s there?”

Damn.Lissa"s heart gets stuck in her throat, but she manages to push the door open,

“It"s just me.”

“Oh.” Heart beating wildly, Julie sits back upright on the bed and twists around so that she"s facing the door, “Come on in.”

“Are you alright?” Closing the door behind her, Lissa tentatively enters the room, “I just wanted to check on you.”

Julie nods, “I"m alright. Listen, I"m really sorry about that.”

Lissa approaches the bed, “Oh no, it wasn"t you. God, no! It was my fault!” She sits on the bed facing Julie, “I didn"t mean…I mean, Iwantedto. But…I just don"t know if it would be okay.” She shakes her head, “I"m botching this up.” She looks into Julie"s eyes and sighs,

“There"s just something about you. I swear I don"t know what it is, but there"s something here.”

“What do you mean?” Julie"s heart is thudding in her ears even as she"s straining to make sure she absorbs every word coming from Lissa"s mouth.

“I mean that I'm really, real y attracted to you. But you"re so much younger than I am.

And I"m your coach. And-”

Wait. rewind.What?! “But you want me?”

Wel isn"t that written al over my face every time you walk into a room?Lissa stops talking and simply nods. After a moment of silence, she adds quietly, “But I don"t know if it"s right.”

Julie thinks about that a moment while she looks into Lissa"s eyes, searching for something, anything, that says she wants to try that kiss again. She whispers, “Do you care if it"s right or not?”

God, I need you to physical y pick me up off this bed if I"m not supposed to do this because I'm not strong enough to do it myself.Lissa gulps, her eyes transfixed on Julie"s lips,

“No.”

Julie reaches out with her right hand and presses her palm against Lissa"s cheek. She rubs her thumb over the woman"s bottom lip, watching as it drags lightly across it, “Me either.”

Everything moves in slow motion. Lissa"s head tilts back, Julie"s head drops forward, and when their lips meet, there is no sound in the room. Julie"s lips hold Lissa"s bottom lip hostage as Lissa"s lips suckle lightly on Julie"s top lip. Breathing is forgotten, and tongues tentatively flick over sensitive wet lip skin. They pull back briefly, only to come together again in a more passionate, open kiss. They do this several more times, each time getting bolder, until finally Julie"s tongue slides between Lissa"s, pulling a moan from the woman"s throat.

Lissa pulls back, breathless, “Oh God.”

Julie presses her forehead against Lissa"s and tries to catch her own breath, “Yeah.”

Lissa presses against Julie, pushing her back on the bed, “I"m in so much trouble.” She begins kissing the girl again. These kisses are hot, passionate, and wanting. She stretches herself out on top of Julie and her right arm snakes under the girl, holding her even closer.Okay God, you snooze, you lose.

Julie"s mind is shut off completely. Her arms are wrapped around Lissa"s waist and she"s rubbing her hands up and down the woman"s back. With a heavy swipe, Lissa"s shirt slides up and Julie"s hand touches flesh. She feels Lissa shiver and gasp against her mouth, but since she didn"t stop her, Julie lightly rubs the bared flesh. She"s suddenly very aware of her own body in relation to Lissa"s body parts.

Julie"s legs are spread slightly, Lissa"s right leg is in between them, causing Lissa to straddle Julie"s right thigh. In reaction to Lissa burrowing her arm underneath her, Julie arched her back, pressing their chests together. If she shifted only slightly, their nipples would be rubbing against each other.

Slowly, as not to startle the woman, Julie slides her hands down to cup Lissa"s ass.

When she manages that much, she pulls the woman tight against her. She"s enjoying the feel of Lissa"s weight on top of her. She just wishes there was less clothing.

Lissa is caught only slightly off guard by Julie"s forwardness. She half expected it.

What she didn"t expect was that she"d like it as much as she is.Oh God, yes. Yes. Yes.When Julie pulls her closer, she can"t stop the groan that escapes her lips, “Julie.”

“Mmm,” is Julie"s response just before she pushes herself with her left leg and rolls them over on the bed. Now that she"s on top, she feels more in control. And that"s just where she wants to be when it comes to Lissa Norman. She breaks their kiss to rise up and whisper,

“I want you. More of you. All of you.”

Lissa gulps, her mind racing quickly, “But I"m not-”

Julie presses a finger over Lissa"s lips, “But you"re not ready. I get it. I do.” She moves her finger, “And this is enough. Even if you never kissed me again, just having this would be enough.”

Lissa reaches up and pulls the girl"s mouth to her own for a deep, toe-curling kiss.

When they part, she mumbles, “I don"t think I"ll ever have enough.”

“What do we do now?” Julie places dry little kisses all over Lissa"s eyes and nose and cheeks.

Lissa giggles softly, “Well, right now, we just keep doing this because I quite like this.

And then tomorrow I"m going to scour the rules for information about coach and player relationships.”

Julie pulls her head back, “I hope you don"t find anything.”

Lissa frowns slightly and strokes her thumb against Julie"s cheek as she looks deeply into the girl"s eyes. She whispers, “Me too.”

Chapter 19

Monday, April 11

Julie laces her shoes and tightens the closure, "I can't believe that we're in the finals!" She looks up and around the arena at the capacity crowd, already loud and rowdy.This is unreal!

"Shut up," Jana responds, "or I'll throw up again!"

Julie laughs and pats her on the shoulder, "Sorry, J. Take deep breaths, okay?"

A referee approaches the bench and calls, "Captains, please!"

For a moment, Julie's heart stops, then she turns and catches Lissa's eye. The woman smiles warmly at her and nods towards half-court. Julie nods and smiles back. She stands and rallies the troops, "Alright girls. Come on, huddle up!" The girls circle around her, cheering and smiling. She tries to calm them with her words, "Settle down. Let's settle down. Let's go out there and kick some ass, okay? Keep your head in the game, keep each other accountable, and have some fun!"

They yell, "Eagles!" just before breaking up and finishing with their pre-game rituals.

Julie steps around the bench and comes to stand behind Lissa, "Can you help me?"

Lissa turns with a smile, "That's a loaded question, Whit. .with what?"

Their eyes meet and Julie blushes slightly. She didn't have a particular thing in mind to ask for help on. She makes something up, "Um, with my hair?" She reaches up and pulls the ponytail holder out of her hair. It falls down around her shoulders in soft waves that shine under the lights of the arena. She shoves it off her shoulders and holds the ponytail holder out to Lissa, "Please?"

Lissa's face softens.You"re terrified."You have to go talk to the refs."

Julie looks impatiently towards center court, "Yeah."Shit.She turns back to Lissa,

"When I get back?"

She takes the holder out of Julie's hand, their fingers brushing each other, "When you get back I'll do it." She winks, "Now go already!"

Julie laughs, "Be right back!" She turns and trots towards the group waiting on her in the middle of the court.

Lissa watches the girl run away from her and admires the languid motion of her legs and the ease with which she carries her tall frame. She watches as Julie absentmindedly plays with her hair while listening to the refs. A smile breaks across her face when she sees Julie glance her direction, trying to play it off as if she were just looking around at the crowd. The captains from each team shake hands and then Julie shakes the hand of each ref.

When the girl starts back towards the bench with the other captain, Gretchen, Lissa pretends to not see them.

Gayle stops Julie before she can slide behind the bench, "Whit, will you help me with something?"

"Sure, what do ya need?" Julie shoots a look at Lissa, but the woman's not paying attention.

"I need to know how to do that one play…" she turns to the girl beside her, "what's it called, Mandy?"

Mandy, Julie, and Gayle discuss the details of the play and Lissa helps Jayd fill water bottles. There's 4 minutes until game time, and Lissa can feel the excitement and anxiety mounting inside her. Every couple of seconds she strokes the ponytail holder on her wrist and thinks of the girl a mere 15 feet away who is just as nervous, if not more so. As the time ticks off the clock, it appears that the girls aren't ever going to successfully explain the play to Gayle. But once they run through it on the sidelines, she finally gets it.

Delighted with herself, Julie finally makes eye contact with Lissa. She wipes hair out of her face and remembers that she was going to get help with that. Holding Lissa's stare, she strolls towards the bench and behind it. She gently takes Lissa by the hand and rol s the ponytail holder off the woman's wrist, "You were going to help me with my hair."

Lissa nods, "Why yes, I believe that I was."

She holds the ponytail holder in front of Lissa's face, "I want. ." her words trail off.

Lissa waits with baited breath and then whispers, "Yes?"

With a sly smile, Julie continues, ". .to be alone with you right now."

That would be al kinds of dangerous.A smile crawls onto Lissa's face, "Me too. But right now you have to go out there and kick some ass." She bends and grabs Julie's brush out of the girl's bag, "Sit."

Julie feigns pain, "No 'please' or anything?"

"Please, sit." Lissa pats the chair she'll be sitting in during the game, "Right here."

Julie takes a seat, "You just want me to warm up your seat so you don't have to sit on a cold one."

Lissa snorts, "Right, that's it." She begins brushing out the girl's hair and pulling it back, while Julie takes in the sight of the crowd. "Please stop moving."

"That's not what you said last night," Julie smirks.

Lissa taps her on the head gently, "I didn't even get toseeyou last night, so don't insinuate that I've been naughty."

You sound disappointed, Ms Norman."I don't mean in real life."

Lissa blushes at the thought of Julie knowing what she dreamed about last night.

Which was the two of them in a very unclothed position. She finishes up, "Done!"

Julie stands and feels her head for lumps and bumps, "Good work." She turns to face Lissa, "I meant in your dreams."

Lissa's face turns a bright red, "How do you know what I dream about?"

Julie circles around the chair and comes to stand right next to the woman, "Because I dream about it too." Her eyes search the woman's face for any sign that she's right. And when Lissa's eyes flit away from her intense gaze, she knows. "That's what I thought." She leans down a little further, "Maybe one day we'll graduate from kissing."

She laughs nervously but answers sarcastically, "To what? Heavy petting?"

Julie wiggles her eyebrows, "Ooh, you promise?" She gives the woman a sure smile before adding, "Yes, I think maybe heavy petting. Maybe we"ll even do a little light stroking.

And if we really get bold, we"ll even make it to deep-"

"Julie! Front and center!" Coach Allen interrupts them.

Oh my God!Julie turns quickly, afraid he's heard them, "Yes, sir!" She breathes again when she realizes he hasn't.

Don"t think about that right now. Just focus on getting her ready for the game. Think about the game, Lissa…the game.Lissa grabs her arm before Julie can leave her, "Hey,"

Julie's eyes turn back to her and she gulps, "good luck."

With you here, I don"t need luck.Julie winks at her, "Luck has nothing to do with it, right?" She walks away with that same self-assured gait that Lissa's come to love.

Jayd sneaks up behind her and whispers in her ear, "Somewhere I've heard that before."

Lissa blushes, "Don't you have a water bottle to fill or something?"

At half time, Whalen University is leading by 8. As they head to the locker room, Halley Stillman from ESPN pulls Julie aside, "May I interview you?"

Julie searches for Lissa, "Um, first you have to-"

"It's fine, go on." Lissa's hand falls on the girl's shoulder from behind. She smiles at her and winks, "Just don't spit or cuss."

“Damn, you take all the fun out of everything!”Julie smiles and wipes her brow.

Halley laughs and then goes to speak with her cameramen for a moment, leaving Lissa and Julie alone.

Julie is still trying to catch her breath, "Damn, I can't believe that last shot went in!"

Her eyes shine with pride, "From half-court, Lissa!"

"I know it! You are lightin' it up!" Lissa laughs, "And the look onherface was priceless."

She nods towards the opposing coach just as the woman disappears into the opposite tunnel.

Julie groans, "God, I hate her."

Halley steps back into the conversation, "Alright, so just a couple of questions, nothing terribly hard, okay?"

Julie nods and Lissa steps out of the way, "Okay."

The light on top of the camera comes on and then the red LIVE sign comes on. Lissa looks into the monitor and smiles at Julie's image.She looks great. She looks sweaty, tired, and nervous, but great.

Halley begins, "Thank you, Jim. I'm with the Whalen University's star freshman guard, Julie Whitney. Julie, how do you think your team is doing so far?"

Julie strains to hear the question above the cheers of the crowd, "Oh, I think we could do better, but we're just getting started. There's at least twenty minutes left."

Halley smiles at her, "That last shot was incredible. Did you practice that?"

Julie laughs, "Oh yeah, about a million times in my dreams!"

"But it was so pretty, like you'd done it about a million times!"

"Oh yeah, it had to be spectacular, Halley. Or else you would have seen it when I almost tripped backwards and landed on my rear!"

Halley chuckles, "Alright, what's the key to the second half?"

With a devilish grin Julie answers, "Score more than they do."

Halley throws her head back and laughs at the girl's joke. "Fair enough! Thank you and good luck! Back to you, Jim!"

Lissa shuffles her feet, jealous of the way Halley seems to be flirting with the girl.She needs to stop laughing like that and move her hand.

Julie thanks Halley and motions to Lissa, "We better go. Coach will be mad."

As they walk down the tunnel, kids hang over the railing asking for her autograph. Lissa stops her, "Hey, sign a couple of autographs."

Julie gives her a surprised look, "Really?"

"Yeah, why not?"

Julie signs a few pictures and hats, and more than a few t-shirts. Then Lissa begins to pull her away. They walk towards the locker room, leaving the roar of the crowd behind, and Lissa breaks their silence, "You know, I think you might actually pull this off."

"You think, maybe?" Julie smiles at her as they stop at the locker room door.

"Yeah, I think so." She looks up into Julie's eyes and suddenly the rest of the world fades away, "How do you feel about that?"

Julie's head bobs from side to side slightly, "I don't know. Good, I guess. But I do know that life as I know it would change drastically. And I guess part of me wonders if I'm ready for that."

Lissa nods, "Yeah, that is very true. Demands on your time would increase tenfold." She bites her bottom lip and her eyes slip down to the V of Julie's jersey, "You wouldn't have a lot of free time."

"I don't have a lot of free time now."

"True. But you'd have even less. You'd have to prioritize everything."And a lot less time for me.

Julie smiles, "Well, I already do that. Top three: family, basketball, you." She shrugs,

"Nothing wrong there."

"I guess you're right. But honestly speaking, if you drop anything, it should be me, not the other two. You know that, right?"

Julie sighs, "Look, let's not talk about this right now, okay? I'm about to win a national championship. I don't want to think about droppinganything."

She nods, "Alright, agreed."

Wrapping her arms around Lissa's waist, Julie speaks to her softly, "Now, I also don't want to hear that you can't come when we go out and celebrate, okay? I want to dance with you."

"Do you, now?" Lissa's eyes sparkle with humor, "We'll see, okay?" She pushes out of Julie's arms reluctantly, "But if you don't get in that room right now, coach will kill us both."

Julie sighs, "Alright, fine." She pulls away unenthusiastically and opens the door to the locker room, "Are you coming with me?"

"Nope," Lissa backs away, "I have to help with the water bottles."

Julie laughs and shakes her head, "You're a water bottle fool. Do you know that?"

"Nah, I'm just a fool for you," Lissa winks and turns on her heel.

Julie watches her go and whispers to herself before disappearing into the locker room,

"Ditto."

Chapter 20

Monday, April 11

"How are you feelin', champ?" Mandy flings an arm around Julie's neck and laughs.

"I am not a champ.Weare the champs!" Julie wraps her arm around Mandy's waist, partly to show her affection and partly to hold the drunken girl up.

Mandy shakes her head vehemently, "No. No. No. You were lightin' the world up! Shit girl, we scored eighty-two points and you had thirty-seven of 'em! Youarea champ!" She pulls Julie's head down and kisses her temple, "Thank you for giving me a championship ring my last year. Thank you, Julie."

Damn, I'm not going to cry!Julie nods, her throat tensing with emotion, "Well thank you for letting me be a part of it."

Mandy smiles and then looks around, "Now, where's that woman of yours?"

What?Julie stiffens, "Who?"

"Coach Norman. Where is she?" Mandy turns and twists, looking around the crowded club for Lissa.

"Oh, she's uh.. I'm sure she'll be here later. But, um, she'snotmy woman." Julie shifts on her feet uneasily and hopes Mandy just drops the topic.

Mandy turns back to the younger girl and seems to sober up for a moment, "Listen, Whit, if there's one thing I know better than I know basketball, it's love. And you are so in love with that woman I can almost smell it all over you. And there's nothing wrong with that!

But real y, you should just let go and love her. Because you'll never get anywhere by holding back."

Julie nods quietly, "Thanks."

Mandy pats her shoulder, "You're welcome. Now, party down, champ! I have a girlfriend of my own to intoxicate and take advantage of!" With a wink and a salute with her beer bottle, Mandy disappears into the crowd leaving Julie standing on the periphery of the room alone.

Julie swigs her Pepsi and watches the door.Please come. Please.

***

Down the street Lissa throws her bag onto the bed of her hotel room. Fully intending to head straight to bed and sleep for 3 days straight, she begins to let her hair down. A knock on the door makes her jump, "Coming!" She swings the door open, half expecting and hoping that it's Julie, "Oh! Hi, Coach Allen. Come in."

"The season's over, Lissa." He steps through the door and smiles at her, "You can cal me Taylor."

Lissa nods, "Alright then, Taylor. What can I do for you?" She leans against the closed door and watches him as he walks to the opposite side of the room to gaze out the window.

"Wow, Atlanta sure looks different after winning a championship." He turns to her and leans against the desk in front of the window, "Everything looks different though."

That"s because everything is different. As much as I don"t want things to change, they will.Lissa nods, "Life is certainly going to change. But we're ready for it, right?"

"Yeah. We're ready." He stops speaking, looking for a proper transition into what he's really there for, "Did I ever tell you how I met my wife, Casey?"

Lissa's brow furrows for a second, but she decides to play along and smiles, "Weren't you a college kid working at a day care?" She loves taking jabs at him for the 18-year age difference between him and his wife.

"Funny, Norman. Really funny." He clears his throat and continues, "Actually I didn't meet her until she was eighteen and legal." He looks away from her a second and then back at her, "I coached her, Lissa." He waits a moment for it to sink in before speaking again, "I recruited her and instantly fell in love with her. She was so smart and funny and beautiful.

She had so much promise, not to mention all the focus a coach could ask for. She was my dream come true in almost every way you could dream. My intellectual equal, mature and self-assured, determined and genuine, she was all that and more. And we'd only worked together three weeks before we realized this was more than a coach and player relationship."

Wow.Lissa swallows hard, "And how did everyone else react to that?"

"Well we didn't tell anyone right off. We'd meet in town at small restaurants and talk about mostly basketball. Some people were none the wiser. They had no idea what was going on. But I'd adopted a rule for myself. A guideline to follow because the NCAA doesn't have a rule regarding relationships between coaches and players."

"What's the rule?"

"When we were playing bal , I was the coach, and what I said was the law. In the off-season, I was the lover, and most anything went. So I was all business during basketbal season. We still had lunches and dinners together. She sat beside me on trips, was a couple of people away from me on the bench, and we'd go out together on dates. But when it came to the court and practice or games, I was the boss. Totally in charge and very much business-like."

"And in the off-season?"

"I was her boyfriend in every sense of the word."

Lissa shakes her head in disbelief, "But what did everyone else say?"

"Oh, I got called all kinds of names. We had horrible things written about us and had people talking behind our backs." Taylor sighs with the memories, "But our relationship was burned into our souls during that time because, for four years, we were inseparable. And when we married two months after her graduation, it became irrelevant."

"Wow." Lissa's mind reels as she tries to think of something to say, "Why are you telling me this, Taylor?"

"Because," Taylor sighs, "I see what you're going through. You're killing yourself, trying to convince your heart and brain that you don't love that girl. And we both know damn well that you do." She opens her mouth to speak and he holds up his hand, "And I want you to know that it's not against any rule of mine or the NCAA. The school has no rule or standard for it, either. So you're free to love whomever you choose, Lissa. I just ask that you think about adopting my philosophy about it. When you're playing bal , you're the coach. When you're not," he shrugs, "anything goes."

She knows it's useless to fight or deny her feelings, so she nods, "Agreed. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

He stands to leave, "You didn't need to tell me. But if something negative happens as a result of your relationship with her, please don't hesitate to come to me. As long as you treat her with all the respect she deserves, you'll have my full backing and support. I promise you that."

She smiles and holds the door open for him, "Thank you, Taylor. I really appreciate it.

And tell Casey she's one lucky woman."

"She knows." He winks at her, "Now, last I heard they're all going to this little place around the corner called 'Out on Main'. I think you should go. Dance. Party. Do a little bit of drinking if you need to. Use your head and stop ignoring your heart."

I adore this man.She smiles, "I am so glad I took this job."

Taylor chuckles, "I'll fix that come October. Have a great night, champ."

"You too." She closes the door behind him and presses her back against it. Wrapping her mind around the fact that they'd just won the national championship is nothing compared to comprehending that she is now free to show that she loves Julie. Her heart seems to soar a little bit as she rushes to grab money, her ID, and her credit card. She changes into a lightweight blouse and jeans, shoves the items into her back pocket, and grabs her room card. With a happy sigh and a smile, she heads out.

***

"Can I get another Pepsi, please?" Julie yells over the music.

"Sure, just Pepsi?" the bartender asks.

"Yeah." She holds up her hand, showing him the big black X on the back, "I've been branded because I'm not of age," she laughs.

He laughs, "Pepsi it is, then." When he brings her drink back, he says, "It's on the house. Just because I remember what that was like." He winks at her and walks away.

"Thank you!" she yells after him. She picks her drink up with a melancholy smile and heads back to her spot. Mandy and Jenny are busy kissing. Jana and her "friend" are canoodling in the corner.This sucks. I wish I at least had someone to talk to.When Lissa walks through the door, Julie wonders if that bartender put something in her drink to make her hallucinate.Oh my God! She"s here!

The music is loud as Lissa opens the door, her eyes adjust to the darkness and she scans the crowd for someone she knows. It only takes a moment before she spots Gretchen,

"Hey, where's Julie?"

The girl smiles and points to the back corner, "She's been watching that door for you all night. Start walking towards the Bud Light sign and I'm sure she'll appear."

Lissa gives her a lop-sided grin and starts for the corner, "Thanks."

Julie stands to get Lissa's attention, but sees that she's talking to Gretchen. She watches as the girl points Lissa to their corner. She smirks to herself as Lissa bobs and weaves through the dancers. As the woman gets closer, she breaks out into a full smile. She waits to speak until Lissa's right in front of her, but before she can say anything, the woman is kissing her. Shock is overruled by desire and Julie kisses back. When the kiss ends, she can only muster, "What was that for?" She looks around, anxious about who might have seen that.

Lissa wraps her arms around Julie's neck, "Because I missed you. Is that alright?"

"Well," her arms encircle Lissa's waist, "I'mfine with it. More than fine, as a matter of fact, but aren't you worried about who might have been watching? What if coach found out?"

"He already knows," Lissa says with a smirk. "And he's fine with it. So come on. I want to dance with you."

Julie smiles and allows Lissa to pull her to the dance floor, "Yes ma'am!"

As they pick a spot on the outskirts of the dance floor, Lissa turns to Julie and snuggles up to her, "Are you sure you're not tired?"

"I'm running on pure adrenaline and happiness." Julie presses her forehead to Lissa's,

"I could go all night."

The meaning behind Julie's seductive smile is not lost on Lissa, but she's not even thinking about taking the relationship into a sexual realm, "Right now, I just want to hold you and enjoy being with you. Is that alright?"

Julie sighs, sounding almost relieved, "That's perfectly fine with me."You and me right here and now, holding each other, is perfectly fine with me.

Lissa presses her cheek to Julie's shoulder as Julie rests her chin on Lissa"s head.

They close their eyes and sway to the beat. Even if they'd lost the championship tonight, they'd still feel like winners.

Chapter 21

Sunday, April 24

"I'm calling to confirm a reservation for six tonight." Julie paces back and forth in the living room of her apartment, "It"s for Julie Whitney, a table for two." She breaks into a smile, "Okay, great. Thank you so much." She hangs up and walks into the kitchen. She peels off the top sheet on the "page-a-day calendar" and reveals the date: April 24. Today is Lissa's birthday and Julie has big plans.

She begins by taking a long run by down by the high school. She tops Riley Hill and turns down Oceanside Drive. The day dawned bright and clear, not too hot, not too cool. It's just perfect in Julie's mind. She hits the dead end of Oceanside and breaks through the trees. The view from there is spectacular.

The ground falls away, creating a 150' drop to the ocean below. The white beach is already peppered with sun worshippers. Julie runs along the edge of the cliffs and once she reaches the Stairs of Heaven (the steep wooden steps from the top of the cliff to the sand below), she stretches for a few minutes, preparing herself to run back home.

She watches the kids splashing in the water and smiles. She remembers when life was that simple. When going to the beach with her family was the main event on a lazy Sunday like today.

She starts back home as images of coming to the beach with Lissa flash through her head. She imagines Lissa's sandy blonde hair wet and dripping around her face as they dance in the water. Maybe she could teach the woman how to surf. And Lissa could teach her how to play beach volleyball. They could bring a picnic lunch out to the ravine and eat beside the waterfall on the other side of town.

There are so many things she wants to do with Lissa. There are so many places to go and things to see with her. She wants to catch a WNBA game in Atlanta and go to about a dozen concerts at the pavilion. When her parents come for Christmas this year, she wants Lissa to meet them. Not as her coach, but as her girlfriend. Her parents really liked Lissa when they came last year. She's positive that they'll fall in love with her just as much as she has.

Love, it's something that has eluded Julie in her lifetime. A foster kid at the age of 6, she was struggling in school, getting in trouble at every turn, and being turned away from foster home after foster home. Then she went to live with the Whitney"s. They adopted her just before she turned 10, never mind that she'd already told them 100 times or more that when she turned 18 she was going to run away and she'd never see them again. Of course, Hannah Whitney knew better. She knew that if she loved Julie the right way and hard enough, the child would come around. But just when it seemed there was nothing she could do and Hannah had almost given up, a miracle happened.

His name is Mark. He was born 3 days before Julie turned 12. And on top of being the most beautiful child in the world, he was Julie's saving grace. That baby changed Julie's whole outlook on life. She focused on her schoolwork, participated in more activities in school, and found basketball.

Hal, Julie's adoptive dad, had always known that the gangly kid he'd fallen love with and adopted was something special. But when she had a basketball in her hands, she was magical. The game eased her temper, reigned in her anger, and gave her a mental focus unmatched by anyone her age. Every major college in America recruited her. But one day, late in Julie"s senior year of high school, he and Julie visited little Whalen University in Chestnut, Georgia. As soon as they pulled the rental car onto Whalen University Boulevard, the trees lining the road made it feel as if they were welcoming the next basketbal phenomenon. And Julie heard the call. Her eyes lit up and she said, "This is it, daddy. This is it."

Julie takes the steps to her apartment two at a time and unlocks the door. She kicks her shoes off and checks the answering machine. She has one message.

"Hello, this message is for Julie Whitney. This is Alice Ridley from Ridley's Flowers. I wanted to let you know that your flowers are ready for pick up. We close today at six. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to cal us. Goodbye."

She smiles and deletes the message. She marks that off her mental To Do List. She picks up the phone and her fingers dial the phone number without thinking.

"Hello?"

The voice brings a homesick smile to her face, "Hey, Mama."

"Julie! Hi honey! How are you?"

"Oh, I'm alright. I got your email last night. I thought I'd cal instead of emailing you back. Tell Mrs. Carter I'm sorry to hear about Bo. That poor dog lived way longer than I thought he would, though."I"ll miss you, old buddy.She"s surprised that her eyes actually get a little misty.

Hannah laughs, "After all the hell you and Chuck put that poor dog through from the time you were thirteen, I don't know how he lasted this long either."

A voice breaks in from the background, "Mama, let me! Let me!"

"The boy wants to talk to you, hang on." Hannah hands the phone to Mark.

"Hey booger," he laughs into the phone.

"Hey booger," she smiles and bites her bottom lip to keep from crying, "How's my favorite little man?"

"I'm alright. Bo died."

Her voice softens, "Yeah, Mama told me."

"I saw him dead. He wasn't breathing, but his eyes were open. It was kind of gross. I wonder what killed him."

"It was probably old age."

"Yeah. Do you know daddy's older than Bo?"

Julie laughs out loud, "Yeah, I know he is."

"That means that daddy's, like, 100 or something!"

Oh God, please don't let daddy hear him!"Not quite. He might act like it, but not quite, buddy. How's school going?"

"I got one B and all A's," the pride in his voice makes Julie smile.

"Well, then I should send you a prize for that! What did you get the B in?"

"Spelling. I'm not so good with that. But Mama says that you weren't either and you can spell just about everything now, so I have to keep working on it."

Julie gulps hard to keep the tears back, "Yeah. Just keep plugging away, okay? You'll get better in no time."

"Oh, I have to go. Mama's going to take me to Robert's house to play with his new drums. Are you going to come home soon?"

"We'll see, buddy. Just keep doing what you're doing and remember that I love you, okay, booger?"

"Yep. Love you too. Here's Mama." He drops the phone on the counter and screams,

"Mama!"

She waits just a couple of seconds before her mother picks up again, "He won't ever be a receptionist, will he?"

Julie laughs, "No. More like a footbal announcer."

"That won't be so bad. Your dad would love that. Baby, I have to go. I'm going to drop him off at the Bradford's and let him give Becky a headache while I go to the store."

"Alright. I'll email you tomorrow. I kind of have a lot going on today with Lissa's birthday and all."

"Oh, tell her I said Happy Birthday, will you?" Her mother pauses just a moment before adding quietly, "Um, Julie, can you and I talk about that some time?"

Uh oh."What about, Mama?"

"Are you dating her?"

"Yes, ma'am, in a way I am. Is that alright?"

Hannah thinks a moment, "Does she treat you well?"

"Oh mom, she's wonderful. You'll see. She's great. Coach Allen adores her and so does the rest of the team. I wouldn't be pulling in all A's without her influence. And I know for sure that we wouldn't be the champions without her. She keeps us all sane and grounded."

"Then she's alright with me! I'll tell your dad that you cal ed."

"And tell him that I love him. And I love you, too, Mama."

"Love you, Julie. Bye honey."

"Bye." She hesitates a moment before hanging up, knowing that once she hears a dial tone, the connection with her mother will be lost. Once the phone is in the cradle, however, she knows that the connection is just transferred to her heart and mind. Sometimes she can feel her mother so strongly, even when she can't hear her or feel her. She knows that every part of who she has become is al thanks to the love and care of someone else: her dad, her mom, Mark, and now, Lissa. She takes a moment to thank the universe for them.

The phone rings, breaking her out of her reverie, "Hello?"

"Hey sweetheart."

"Mmm hi birthday girl." Julie smiles and begins to sing, "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to Lissa, happy birthday to you!"

Lissa chuckles, "Thank you, thank you very much."

"Are you ready for a day of surprises and delight?"

"Surprises and delight? Sure!" Lissa grins from ear to ear and Julie can hear it in her voice, "What do you have planned?"

"Duh, silly! Surprises and delights!"

"Okay, okay, tell me what to do, then."

"Alright, you need to be here promptly at 5:30." A knock on the door interrupts her,

"Hang on, babe." She lays the phone down and opens the door for Mandy, "Hey. Come on in."

She waves the girl in, "I'm not ready. I'm on the phone. Give me a sec." She picks the phone back up, "Hey, I'm back. Listen, my ride just got here. Be here at 5:30, okay?"

"Yes ma'am, 5:30. Ooh, are we going someplace fancy?"

"Maybe. It's all surprises and delights, remember?" Julie laughs, "Be here at 5:30."

"Okay. Um, see you then."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye."

Mandy sighs as Julie hangs up the phone, "You still haven't told her that you love her?"

She sips her coffee and it burns her tongue, "Shit."

"No, not yet. It's a big thing to tell someone you're in love with them. Especially me.

But I'm going to. And it's going to happen tonight."

Mandy giggles, "You aresucha romantic."

"Damn right. Wait here. I have to shower, and then we'll go."

"Yes master." Mandy takes a seat on the couch and cal s after Julie, "If I fall asleep, wake me up!"

After her shower, Julie and Mandy drive into town, to Ridley's Flowers. Julie takes a big breath as they walk in, "Man, I love the smell of flowers!" She approaches the counter as Mrs. Ridley comes through the curtain from the back room.

"Hello, can I help you?"

"Yes ma'am, probably so. I'm Julie Whitney. I'm here to pick up an order."

"Oh yes, the roses!" The woman's eyes light up, "I hear that you designed this yourself."

"Yes ma'am. And it took April and I almost an hour to completely understand each other!"

Mrs. Ridley laughs, "Well, I hope this is what you wanted." She opens a cooler behind the counter and pulls out the biggest arrangement of flowers that Julie's ever seen. "We have one dozen red roses and one dozen white roses in a vase with baby's breath, carnations, lilies, and greenery. Is it close?"

Julie's hand covers her chest, "Oh my."

Mandy gasps, "Julie, that's absolutely beautiful! You designed that?" She punches the girl on the shoulder, "You go girl!"

"Mrs. Ridley, that is positively gorgeous! It's exactly what I wanted!" Julie leans over the counter and smells the arrangement, "Oh man, she's going tolovethis."

"Well I'm delighted that you like it so much."

"Mandy, can you please take it out to the car for me?" Julie picks up the vase, "Be careful, it's really heavy."

Mandy takes it from her, "Man, it's a good thing I've been working out!"

Julie takes a card that says, "Happy Birthday", and pays her bill.

The rest of their errands consist of picking up some dry cleaning, buying gift wrap, picking out a shirt for Julie to wear tonight, eating some lunch, and getting their hair cut.

While they're waiting on their names to be called for their hair cuts, Mandy asks,

"What else is there to do?"

"I think we got it al covered." She checks her watch; "It's 3:15 now. They'll probably call us any second now and we'll be done by four. Then I have to get home and get ready. Hey, listen, I appreciate all you've done today."

"Hey, don't mention it. Because when I do this for Jenny, I expect to be able to drag your sorry ass out of bed at nine in the morning on a Sunday too."

Julie's name is called then and she says, "I was up at seven! I don't have a problem with getting up at nine!"

"Oh hell, you're sicker than I thought!" Mandy laughs and flips through her magazine.

Promptly at 5:30, the bell rings on Julie's door. She checks herself in the mirror one last time and then peeps through the door. She calls out, "Close your eyes!"

"What?"

Julie opens the door just a crack, "Close your eyes."

Lissa shrugs and obeys, "Whatever, okay."

Julie opens the door fully and stands in awe. Lissa's hair is swept up off her shoulders in a clip, but a few curly tendrils fall down around her face, which features just the slightest bit of makeup. Her earrings and necklace are very simple and pretty, as well as the plain black, knee-length dress she has on. It's sleeveless and V cut in the front and back. She has a thin shawl around her shoulders, a black clutch in her hands, and black heels on her feet.Oh my God, you"re gorgeous. Breathe, Whit!Julie reaches out and tenderly takes Lissa"s hand to lead her inside, "Come on, and just step through the door."

Once the door closes, Lissa asks, "Can I open 'em now?"

Julie leads her to the table in the dining area, "Just a second." The flowers and her gift are displayed there. She wraps her arms around Lissa's waist from behind and whispers in her ear, "Remember how I asked you right after we started our relationship what your favorite flower is?"

Lissa laughs, "Yeah. I still don't know what my favorite is. I can't pick just one!"

Julie smiles against Lissa's ear, "You don't have to. Open your eyes."

Lissa's lashes lift and she gasps, her hand flying to her mouth, "Oh my God!"

Julie can feel the chill bumps erupt on the woman's bare arms, "Do you like them?" She watches as Lissa's eyes fill with happy tears and her bottom lip trembles with emotion. "Hey, hey, no crying, okay?" She turns the woman around in her arms and hugs her, "I know they're happy, but I can't take that from you. Not today, not ever, okay?" She rubs the woman's back gently and then pulls away.

Lissa's eyes open and she wipes under them before noticing how Julie looks. When she finally does, she exclaims, "Oh my God! Look at you!"

Julie has on a dark blue button down blouse that matches her eyes. Her pants are black as wel as the charm dangling on the end of the silver chain around her neck. She's got on freshly polished loafers and her simple silver "dressy" watch. Her hair is braided, something she's very rarely ever done, and tied with a very thin black ribbon. She blushes,

"Like it?"

"Oh, Julie, you look beautiful." Lissa motions with her hand "Turn around."

Julie turns slowly, arms spread, and laughs, "Alright, enough looking at my ass!" She makes the same motion with her hand, "Your turn."

Lissa spins around slowly, "We look so good! I don't know what people are going to think about us!"

Julie pulls Lissa to her, "They're going to wish they were included, I promise you that.

I want a kiss. Then you have to open your gift."

"Oh, you didn't have to buy me anything!" Lissa scoffs. "But I won't protest the kiss!"

Julie's lips taste like toothpaste and Lissa's lips taste like peppermint. The kiss is sweet, to say the least. When they part, Julie licks her lips, "Mmm you taste," she pauses,

"like minty heaven!"

Lissa laughs, "You do, too!"

"Alright, present!" Julie moves past her and pushes the large box towards Lissa, "Come on, and don't be shy! Rip into it!"

Lissa, touched by the unnecessary sentiments, but honored to have someone make a big deal about her birthday at her age, laughs, "Alright." She rips the paper open to reveal a large white box, "Awww, it's a box! Thank you so much!"

Julie mock laughs, "Ha. Ha. Open it, please."

"Oh, there's something inside?" Lissa giggles, "Alright." She pulls up the top and spreads the tissue paper inside with a gasp, "You didn't!" She pulls out the blanket and unfolds it. It's a Whalen University Championship throw, but with a special "twist".

Julie picks up the other end so that Lissa can see the whole thing, "It's the basketbal blanket, but it's got something extra. See?" She points to the perimeter of the blanket where she's had her mom hand stitch the names of each of the players and coaches in alphabetical order.

Lissa's face turns pale white, "Oh Julie, this is beautiful!" She drops the blanket on the nearest chair and throws her arms around the girl, "This is the best birthday present you could have possibly gotten me!" She pulls back to look into her face, "This and the flowers and you look so good! This is. .just. .amazing. I could not ask for anything more."

Julie wipes a tear from Lissa's cheek and swallows hard, "That's not al , Lissa. I want. ." she takes a deep breath, "to say something to you. I was going to wait until dinner, but I don't know if I can stand it."

Lissa whispers and nods, "Okay."

Julie begins, "Um, well, you know al about my history with family and what-not. And you know that I've only ever told 3 people on the planet how much they mean to me, right?"

Lissa nods and Julie continues, "I never dreamed in a million years that I'd find someone to love me like you do. And I don't even need to hear it from you to know it. You make me feel special. I'm wanted and needed. I'm your equal and not just someone you look forward to teaching things to. You really do seem to want to learn from me. And that's something I've hardly ever had. Every person in my life has wanted to teach me things, from how to love to how to read to how to play basketbal . Andyouwant to learn fromme! Things like how to surf, how to cook pasta perfectly, and how to dribble between your legs. It amazes me, I swear, how you make me feel perfectly capable to teach you everything I know. Like I can do anything if I just think about it long enough." She takes a breath and wipes another tear from Lissa's face, "What I'm trying to say, is that. .I love you, Lissa. I'm in love with you.

And thank you, for making me yours in every little way."

Lissa pulls the girl to her tightly, "I love you, too, Julie. More than I could ever say. I love you, too."Happy Birthday to me!

Chapter 22

Saturday, May 7

Lissa runs to the door, heart pounding loudly and chest heaving. She checks her hair in the mirror hanging in her foyer while calling out, "Just a sec!" She looks in the mirror and studies what she sees.It's just going to have to do, this is about as good as it gets. Please, God, let this work. If it doesn't you better hide Tara! I ain't playin'!She strikes a seductive pose and opens the door.

Julie turns around at the sound of the door opening, "What the hell?" She drops the bag in her hand and quickly bends to pick it up while her face flushes a bright red.What the fuck? Oh my God, just breathe, Whit. Breathe.She can't make eye contact with Lissa when she speaks again, "Um, uh.. hi."

Lissa tries to read Julie's face but is unsuccessful. In her sexiest voice, she says,

"Come on in."

Julie stares straight past Lissa as she walks into the apartment. She's not sure what to think.I'm speechless. I don't have a God damn thing to say! I can't think of one fucking thing to say! It's not every day that a woman greets you at the door wearing only a bikini and a smile.Now, normally it's not a big deal for Julie to see bikini clad women, but this is Lissa.

And her mind is spinning from the shock of it. She can't even speak.

Lissa bites her bottom lip nervously and shuts the door.What's she looking at me like that for? Did I grow another head? I shaved! Shit!She puts on a confident face and turns to face Julie, "Sorry I didn't have time to put on something else or cover up. I'm just trying this on. It's from last year and I need to know if I have to buy another one for this year."

She spreads her arms, "What do you think? Does it still fit?"

Julie's eyes finally turn to Lissa's barely covered body. They sweep from her hair, pulled off her shoulders by a ribbon, to her shoulders.Oh precious baby Jesus! I'm going to need you to be an electric fence around Lissa right now, God. I can't stop my eyes!Julie takes a deep breath before letting her eyes flow down the rest of Lissa's body. The bikini is a dark blue color, almost navy, with little white polka dots that are almost invisible. There aren't enough of them to make your eyes hurt. Julie doesn't miss the toned arms, sexy V at the junction of her collarbones, flat stomach, or strong legs. She manages to catch al of the goose bumps too, "It looks fine to me." She turns away, blushing, "Can I ask you something?"Saints in Heaven, why are you teasing me?

What the ever-loving fuck!?!Lissa drops her arms to her sides and then crosses them over her chest, "Sure." She's slightly disappointed.Okay, blushing is not the reaction I was going for! She's acting like there's a fucking force field around me!

Julie turns to look into Lissa's eyes so that she doesn't look anywhere else. Her brain has totally shut down and the question, though serious, comes out all wrong, "Why are you half-dressed right now?" She motions towards the coat rack by the door, "Your coat is right there, you could have put that on."

What?!Lissa gasps, "Did I offend you by answering the door like this?"

Ah hel , Whit! What the fuck did you ask that for?! Jesus!"No, not at all." Julie stammers, "I just, I'm not, it was a shock."

Lissa growls, "I'll be back."Wow. I don"t think I"ve ever felt so ugly!She storms into her bedroom, slamming her door behind her.

Julie's shoulders slump and she takes a seat on the arm of the couch, "Fuck."I've wanted her for damn near a year and when I final y get her almost naked I ask why she didn't cover up? I have to be the biggest idiot walking erect on two feet!

Lissa sits on her bed, fighting the angry tears without much success. She only feels sorry for herself for a couple of minutes before standing and pulling on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. She puts her hair in a ponytail holder and wipes her face off. As she leaves her bedroom, she puts on a determined face.It's not a big deal. This doesnotmean I'm not pretty. This is not a reflection of me at al . At al . Yeah, right.

Julie stands as Lissa enters the room, "Lissa, listen, I'm sorry."

She puts her hand up to stop the girl, "No need. I apologize for making you uncomfortable."

Sighing, Julie quietly replies, "Just let me explain something, okay? When I first started seeing Jenny, she came on really strong sexually. I fell for it right off because she's beautiful. But I never let her touch me the way I touched her. She got me in bed but couldn't 'bed' me. And after many failed attempts to seduce me, she attacked me one night.

That was the last straw for me. I haven't wanted her since that night." When Lissa turns her head away, Julie reaches out and gently turns the woman's face back to hers, "I want youverymuch." She shakes her head, "But not like this. Not in a forced situation. I don't expect candlelight and roses, but I don't want you to throw yourself at me, either."

"I amnotthrowing myself at you!" Lissa fumes, "I was trying to get your attention! I've been trying to use leading language and a softer touch. I've turned on the charm and touched you all over. But I am beginning to feel rather undesirable!" The tears threaten and she has to blink quickly to fight them.I will not cry. Fuck this. I will not cry!

"You are very desirable, Lissa!" She wraps her arms around the woman's waist, "I swear you are! I desire you! I do!"

"Then what's the problem?" Her voice is pleading and her eyes fill again.

Julie shrugs, "I don't know. My own insecurity? My body image? Not the right time?

Fear? There are a billion reasons. But please don't let my hesitation lead you to believe that I don't want to rip your clothes off. Because I have. I do. More than anything. I just," she sighs, "haven't."

Lissa sighs and wraps her arms around Julie's neck, "Well just so you know I'm ready when you are. You just let me know, okay? And although it's going to feel like pressure, please make it soon! I'm losing my mind!"

Julie smiles, "You'll be the first, without a doubt." She leans in for a kiss and savors the taste. Her hands stroke up and down Lissa's back as their kiss deepens. She initiates the intimacy and can feel the heat coming from the woman's skin even through the t-shirt. Julie slides her fingers under the t-shirt to lightly stroke Lissa's back.

Lissa arches into Julie, offering herself.Please, Julie, please take this further. Al you need to do is show me you want to keep going and I'l be more than happy to take over. Just a single sign, baby. One little something. .fuck. anything!

Feeling the woman press herself closer, Julie tightens her hold.God I want you, woman!

Jesus the things I would do!Her heart's beating rapidly and her mind is slipping into that place again where she completely forgets where she is and concentrates solely on what she's doing. The place where she's the most vulnerable. She wants Lissa so badly, but she can't let herself lose control.Okay, this is too far. Too much. A few more seconds and I'l be too far gone to stop. I'm so fucking weak around her! Damn!Instantly she's upset with herself. She pulls away and takes a few steps back, "Lissa," her voice is husky but flat, "I can't do this.

Not right now. Not like this."

Lissa's stunned, "What?"

Julie angrily spits, "I can't do this! It's just too much!" She retracts when she sees the look of horror on Lissa's face.Shit, shit, shit, NO!"No, I'm sorry. It's not you."

Lissa, on the verge of tears, steps away from Julie when the girl steps towards her again, "I think you should just leave." She is suddenly feeling very defenseless and panicked.

"Lis-" Julie starts.No! No! This is not going wel ! Please God!

"Go." Her lip begins to tremble and her eyes water, "Just go."Get out of my face. Get out of my house. Just get the hel out!

Swallowing all the words she wants to blurt out, Julie turns to go. As she steps through the door and turns to close it behind her, she considers apologizing once more. When she sees that Lissa's face is already buried in her hands, she stops herself. The damage is done.I am so sorry, baby.

Chapter 23

Saturday, May 7

"I don't know what to do, Jackie." Julie sobs into the phone, "I think I totally blew it.

I swear she's never going to talk to me again."

"Oh, I'm sure it's not that bad, Whit. Coach isn't like that."

"You didn't see her face." She clenches her eyes, tears roll down her cheeks, "She was so hurt, so devastated, she didn't understand at all. I hurt her so bad. And I couldn't say it.

I couldn't say that I am uncomfortable with sex. I couldn't say that I don't like seeing myself naked or feeling out of control. I couldn't say anything, Jackie. It wouldn't come out.

And she didn't want to hear it anyway." She opens her eyes and looks up at the ceiling,

"Please, God, don't let her hate me. Please."

Jackie, close to tears herself, feeling horrible for her friend, sighs, "Whit, Lissa is not like that. She doesn't hate you, I'm sure of it. Why don't you call her?"

"I've tried! I called twice on the way home and once when I got here. And every day since! She's not picking up and it's been a week!"I'm starting to feel like a stalker.

"Did you leave a message?"

"The first two times, yeah. But I just felt like an idiot." She leans forward, her elbows resting on her knees, one hand holding the phone and the other pressed against her forehead, "I am an idiot. A complete fool."

Jackie thinks a moment, "Whit, do you evenwantto have sex with her?"

That's the stupidest question in the world! Julie picks her head up and sits up straight,

"Of course I do! Why wouldn't I?"

"Then. .be honest now, why haven't you?" She gets no immediate answer then asks,

"What is holding you back?"

Julie leans back on her bed and sighs, "I honestly don't have a clue."

* * *

In her own apartment across town, Lissa's pouring out her tears the same she has for almost a week. She buries her face in the pillow on her bed and mumbles, "I am so fucking stupid. I'm sorry for calling you and making you come over."

Farrah rubs her back, "Come on, what are best friends for?"

Lissa turns her head so that her cheek is pressed to the pillow and she's facing Farrah, "I don't know what to do."

"Well, to be honest, I don't either." She lays her head on the pillow facing Lissa, "You have to talk to her, though. She can't keep calling and getting a machine. She's spent all damn week cal ing this phone. The team"s had a week off but she hasn"t had a damn away from worry! She'll give up and think you don't love her. And you most certainly do!"

"I know I do. I love her very much. And I'm definitely in love with her."That's why this hurts so damn much!

"Then promise me that the next time the phone rings you'll answer it."

Lissa hesitates but then relents, "Alright, I'll answer. But what will I say?"

"You'll tell her the truth. Tell her you felt embarrassed. That you also felt unwanted.

Just be honest with her. Anyone in your position would have felt exactly the same thing."

Lissa rolls over onto her back and stares at the ceiling. After a moment, she says, "Do you think she still loves me?" She can feel the tears starting again in anticipation of Farrah's answer.

Farrah lays her head on Lissa's shoulder, "She'd be a damn fool not to."

* * *

"You've got to figure out what's stopping you from going all the way with her."

No, I've got to get over what's keeping me from it.Julie runs her hand through her hair, "Yeah."

Tentatively, Jackie asks, "Where you, like, molested as a kid or something? Because sometimes that can hold people back."

"Yes," she answers just as quietly, "but that's not it."

Stifling an outright sob, Jackie presses past that topic, "Well then what is it?"

"I don't know for sure, Jackie. Part of me thinks that maybe it's just the childhood I've had, and not just the sexual parts. I have never been in control really, unless I was on the basketball court. I've never had a girlfriend who wasn't a basketball player and who didn't take orders from me somehow. Are you following me?"

"I think I'm following you. Keep going."

"Well, here's what I think. Tell me if you think I'm just being stupid."

"Okay."

Julie sighs, "I've always been the one in control. Both on the court and off. In the bedroom and out. In the relationship as a whole. But with Lissa, it's like we're equal." Her mind conjures an example, "Like the other day, she asked me to pick up her dry cleaning. I did it without thinking! I wouldneverhave done that with anyone else. It amazes me that I didn't even think about it. No one's ever felt comfortable enough with me to ask me to do that. Most people are attracted to me because I take control. Because I run a room of people and am the star of the show, they are total y content to sit back and let me do what I want."

"Did you not want to do it?"

"Oh no, apparently I'm alright with doing it because I did it!" She laughs, "But it was something total y out of the ordinary for me. And it was only when I was pulling it out of the car that I thought about the fact that I've never done that before."

"So you're saying that you feel out of control? Does that freak you out?"

Julie thinks a moment, "No, I wouldn't say that it freaks me out. But I would say that it's different for me. Enough to maybe make me feel too vulnerable to have sex with her. As if that's the last area that I might actual y have some sort of control."

"Are you scared that she knows more than you about sex?"

"Oh, she probably does. That wouldn't surprise me because she"s so much older than I am. I guess part of me wants to hold on to the illusion of as much control as I can."

"Well, while you're holding on to that control, you could be losing hold of the best thing that's happened to you in a long, long time. And you need to call her and tell her that you're not giving up. That you love her and that's that. And even if you have to leave it on her answering machine, you need to say it."

Losing hold of the best thing that's happened to me ever, you mean.Julie scoffs, "Ugh, you suck. I hate it when you're right."

"Well get used to it. I am always right." Jackie smiles and hopes that Julie's smiling too.

A wry grin spreads across Julie's face, "Alright, alright. So you're saying that I should try calling her again?"

"I'm saying that I'm hanging up on you now and you shouldn't dialmynumber when you pick the phone back up. Duh." Jackie hangs the phone up and whispers to herself, "Come on, Whit. Just do it."

Julie, dumbfounded, looks at the phone in her hand, "Well I'll be damned. She hung up on me!" She clicks the phone off and then presses it against her forehead, "I could try one more time, right? That's not stalkerish." She dials the number and waits.

* * *

Please be her. Please be her. Please.Lissa rushes to the phone and breathlessly answers, "Hello?"

Julie's heart stops beating.Oh shit!She stammers, "H-hello?"

Oh thank you, God!Lissa's eyes water, "I'm so sorry. Julie, I'm so sorry."

"No," Julie begins to cry again, "don't. I'm coming over. Right now." She almost hangs up and then says into the phone, "Lissa, I love you."

"I love you too." The phone clicks and the line is dead. Lissa looks at Farrah, "She's coming over." She can't stop the smile, "She's coming over."She's coming over!

Farrah puts her hands on Lissa's shoulders, "Now, listen here.Nofunny business, do you understand? Because the last thing you want is a mercy fuck. So talk. Andonlytalk. Do you understand me perfectly?"

Lissa nods and wipes her face before wrapping her arms around Farrah in a hug, "Thank you so much. God, I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'd still be lying in that bed smelling bad, probably."

Lissa pulls back and laughs, "Let's never find out, okay?"

She nods curtly, "I don"t plan to." She picks up her purse, "Alright, I'm outta here.

Take it easy on the girl. She's probably been sore since you kicked her out. So make out, feel each other up a bit, and either send her home or make her sleep on the couch." She turns before leaving and points at Lissa, "I'm serious.No sex."

Lissa salutes, "Ma'am, yes ma'am."

* * *

At the sound of the knock on her door, Lissa jumps, "Just a second!" She rushes to the door and opens it wide. The girl on the other side looks about the way Lissa feels: like shit.

Lissa tilts her head to one side, "Aw, Julie," she holds out her arms, "come here."My baby. Oh how I have missed you!

Julie goes to her and wraps her arms around the woman tightly. She's only vaguely aware of Lissa shutting the door behind her because she's crying so hard. She begins to speak, hoping Lissa can understand it all, "I'm sorry. I want you so bad. I need you, I do! My dreams are about you. My daydreams and the night ones, too. I think about it all the time, I swear I do. But I'm afraid when you get me in that position, when I'm finally stripped of every façade I have, you won't like what you see. I don't like losing control, either. That's a huge thing for me. But I realized on the way over here that if I have to lose control, there is no one I'd want to lose it to more than you."

She rubs her hands up and down Julie's back in an effort to comfort the girl, "It's alright, baby. We'll get through this. Hell, it's nothing. I know you want me. Why wouldn't you?" She giggles and Julie pulls back to look into her eyes.

"Can you forgive me?"Please, please say yes. I'l die if you don't. I can't breathe without you, please.

Lissa reaches up and wipes a stray tear from Julie's cheek, "There is nothing to forgive. I was hurt," she nods, "but I'm done being hurt. I know you didn't intentionally hurt me. And that's all I need to know."

"Thank God." Julie cups the woman's face in her hands and kisses her. Their arms tighten around each other and all thought of apologizing further evaporates in the heat of that kiss.I want you. I want you. I want you. God, let me let go.

Chapter 24

Saturday, May 7

Julie's hands go into Lissa's hair as she holds the woman against her. She instantly feels herself returning to that place of abandon and when she'd normally tense up, she lets go. She throws herself deeper into the kiss and lets the smell of Lissa's hair overwhelm her.

Once she's more comfortable in this new feeling, she pushes Lissa backwards and into the wall, giving a clear signal that she intends to keep going.Shit, I want you.

Lissa tenses this time and pushes Julie back, breaking the kiss. Lissa whispers, "Wait.

Wait. Are you sure about this?"

"No." Julie smiles, "But I know that I want you. And you want me. And right now that's more important than any reason I have for not doing this."

"Well it's not very romantic, is it?" she smiles shyly.

Julie leans in and kisses Lissa's neck. Between soft kisses she manages, "Well, romantic or not, I feel like the time is right." She pulls back and looks into Lissa's eyes,

"What do you think?"

"I think you need to kiss me like that again." She smiles at the girl, "Right now."

Julie leans in and kisses Lissa's neck again, eliciting moans. She wraps one arm around the woman's waist and presses against her. Lissa welcomes the pressure and grabs fistfuls of Julie's shirt. Julie's other hand lands softly on Lissa's cheek and strokes it gently.

Their kisses turn passionate, pleading, and deep. A heat is being created that seems to surround them. When Lissa's hands tentatively search for the hem of Julie's shirt, the girl reaches down and stops her. Lissa freezes.

Julie's hands run lightly through Lissa's hair, "I love you. And I want to do this in your room. Not standing in your living room."

Lissa smiles, her heart melting for the girl all over again, "I love you, too." She takes Julie's hand and leads her down the hallway. They move to the bed and Lissa lays Julie down.

She speaks softly, "If you don't like something, please tell me. If you do like something, please tell me." She smiles in the dark, "We'll go as slow or as fast as you want, okay?"

Julie lays on the bed, heart pounding, mind racing, and body screaming in excitement.

She tries to focus her eyes on Lissa's face in the darkness. She's not scared. She's done this before. But never with someone she loved. Always with someone she barely even liked.

And although she's given pleasure numerous times, she's never trusted anyone to return the favor.

Lissa reaches down and starts to unbutton Julie's shirt. Her hands are shaking so badly that her fingers are failing her. She fumbles with the buttons and Julie giggles nervously. Julie raises herself to a kneeling position on the bed with Lissa beside the bed, hands at her sides, fingers aching in frustration.

Julie reaches down and pulls Lissa's lips to her own, "Honey, let's just go slow, okay?

You help me and I'll help you."

Lissa smiles and whispers, "Alright, but you first." Julie smiles back and begins undoing the buttons of her own shirt as Lissa starts kissing her neck.

Chill bumps break out over Julie's skin making her nipples harden. Lissa's tongue traveling the rim of her ear makes her tremble.Ohhh Jesus Christ!As the last button comes undone, Lissa's hands go inside and against her uncovered stomach. She leans her head back to give Lissa more access to her neck and closes her eyes in pleasure. Lissa's hands run up Julie's sides and to her shoulders, slowly pushing the fabric off her shoulders as her lips pepper the girl's neck with little kisses. Lissa can feel Julie shaking and is pleased that she's so responsive. She begins to kiss Julie's shoulders as she feels the girl's hands on her own shirt. Lissa ceases her kisses to allow Julie to remove her shirt.

Julie lifts the top off Lissa's heated body and kisses her neck. Lissa moves to kneel on the bed beside her. In this position they are eye-to-eye, and now lip-to-lip. The kisses are hotter now, more urgent, more exploring. Julie unclasps Lissa's bra and slips it over her shoulders with a deftness that makes the woman giggle a little.

Julie whispers, "What?"

"Nothing, you're just so good at that!" Lissa whispers back against Julie's warm cheek.

Julie smiles and runs her fingertips along Lissa's spine, "Oh. There are other things I'm even better at."

Lissa places a kiss on Julie's collar bone, "Eh, you're alright with three-pointers, but nothing you should brag about."

Julie gently bites Lissa's shoulder, "I'll show you a three-pointer, missy!" She reaches down and firmly grabs a hand full of Lissa's rear end. "One point, " she reaches up and grabs a freshly exposed breast, "two points," she moves her face to within inches of Lissa's face and says, "three points" just before she kisses her hard, squeezing the items in each hand gently at the same time. When the kiss ends, Julie begins to take off her blue jeans as Lissa takes that as cue and removes her own pants. When they come back together, Julie on top of Lissa, they are both naked. Their kisses are wet and feverish; their skin is on fire.

Julie kisses down Lissa's neck softly, carefully. She makes sure she covers every inch with a proper kiss. When she reaches Lissa's breastbone, she kisses down it, between her breasts. Lissa's body arches when Julie's lips close around a nipple. Lissa moans, spurring Julie's lips to grasp the other nipple in the same way. Julie licks around both nipples and grazes them ever so lightly with her teeth. This wrings a deep groan from Lissa, and a whispered plea for her to do it again. She obliges unreservedly. Lissa's hands go into her hair and hold her in place. Chill bumps erupt on the woman's skin. Julie flicks her tongue back and forth on the nipple when it strains upward toward her mouth for more. She can't imagine anything tasting better. The other nipple, now wet and cold, demands more attention. She repeats her successful motions on it and gets a similar response. Lissa's breath is coming in soft gasps, her body undulating under Julie.I feel you, baby.. and I want just as much more of you as you want of me! God, the taste, the feel the smel of you is. .everywhere!

Julie realizes that her knee is now between Lissa's legs and she can feel Lissa's thigh between her own. Somewhere in the shuffle, she inadvertently rubbed herself against Lissa's leg and it felt real y good. She rubs her thigh against Lissa, who responds with a thrust of her hips, signaling that it's a good idea to continue. Before long she's rocking back and forth, grinding her hips on Lissa"s thigh while kissing and licking the woman"s nipples. Lissa is grunting and groaning, her eyes closed, her head thrown back. Julie feels a tightening begin in her body, somewhere deep. Lissa's foot plants itself on the bed, forcing her thigh between Julie's legs harder. As she rubs, the tightness in Julie's body gets deliciously stronger and stronger until she can't stand it any longer. She explodes, her head drops forward and she throws all her weight against Lissa's thigh.

Lissa's arms hold Julie tightly against her and she bites her bottom lip to keep from screaming as her own orgasm hits her. Julie's warm body rubbing against hers sends her body into orbit and she doesn't want to come back down. Vaguely she feels Julie collapse on top of her, panting. As she tries to get her own breathing under control, she opens her eyes and rubs her hands over Julie's back to coax her down from her own climax. When she regains her composure, she asks softly, "Are you okay, baby?"

Julie looks up at her, tears in her eyes, "Oh Lissa, I've never…"

Lissa, surprised, whispers, "Didn't you and Jenny have sex?"

"We did, but I didn't ever do that! That was amazing." Julie lays her head back down and tries to gain control of her breathing.

Lissa chuckles, "Baby, that's just the beginning." She shifts, rolling Julie onto the bed, and lays stretched out on her side beside her. She kisses Julie's lips for the next few minutes. She feels Julie's body radiating heat as she allows her finger to trail from the dip at the base of Julie's neck down to the tip of her right nipple, the one closest to herself.

The nipple instantly perks up, begging for more attention. Lissa squeezes it gently, assuring it that the time will come soon.

"Lissa," Julie whispers coarsely, "I'm burning up al over. God, I've never felt this way!"

Lissa smiles and leans in to kiss her, "Just lay back and enjoy it, okay?"

In the darkness she knows she can't be seen and that helps her admit something she otherwise wouldn't, "But, I'm nervous. I've never done all this before."

Lissa lays her finger over Julie's lips to silence her before whispering in her ear, "Let me love you." She then leans down and licks slowly around Julie's nipple, creating a gasp. Her lips close around the nipple, suckling gently, and then she rolls her tongue over the tip in a flicking motion. Julie moans loudly, gripping the sheet by the fistful. Lissa moves to the opposite side and releases the same admonitions on that nipple.

Julie is now breathing very heavily, Lissa moves from one nipple to the other for what seems like hours. Her body is tight again, like before.Oh shit. Oh shit.With each suckle, every graze of teeth, it gets tighter. When Lissa moves down to her stomach and covers it with wet, warm kisses, she just about comes unglued.Oh my God! Oh fuck that's good!She closes her eyes tightly; relishing the feel of Lissa's lips on the sensitive skin of her hips and then her thighs. She's only vaguely aware of Lissa spreading her legs gently. She becomes more aware when Lissa begins kissing at her ankle, moving slowly back up her body. She looks down between her legs at Lissa.My God, you're beautiful. .

Lissa's on her knees, the light from outside, what little there is, shining through the closed blinds onto her skin, dark and mysterious. She's holding one of Julie's legs in each hand, spreading them as she kisses her way towards the apex. When she reaches the young woman's knees, she lowers Julie's legs, placing her feet flat on the bed.

Julie almost protests, worried and a little frightened of what she's sure is about to happen. She's never had oral sex performed on her before, although she's given it to Jenny several times. That was always her way to get out of having to do more when she didn't feel like doing anything. So when Lissa lies on her stomach at the end of the bed, propping herself up on her left elbow, the thought of stopping crosses Julie's mind. But just then, when she almost finds her voice and speaks up, Lissa whispers to her.

Lissa's aware of Julie's body tensing, she is experienced enough to know that Julie's probably never had anything like this happen to her. Once she's in place, she tells herself again to be kind, go slow, and to pay attention to the subtle changes in Julie's body. She looks up into Julie's face and notices the look of impending fear. She whispers to her, "Julie, baby, just breathe. Remember, if you don't want me to do this, you only have to say the word. I swear I don't want to do anything that will upset you."

Julie gulps and decides that it's now or never, "No, I trust you."

Lissa smiles at her and eases her fingers through Julie's pubic hair, slowly introducing her fingers to that part of Julie's untested body.

Julie's body shudders and her mind completely shuts off all thought. She concentrates solely on the sensations that Lissa is creating.She loves you, Julie. She only wants you to let her show that. Deep breath. Let go.For the first time, she totally lets herself feel loved.

Lissa lightly brushes her fingers over Julie's wetness, barely making contact with actual skin. She's just building anticipation, introducing herself. When Julie's hips rise towards her hand, silently asking for more contact, she lowers her fingers to skin. Julie's hips shudder and thrust hard against her palm. Lissa rubs the pad of her thumb against Julie's clit lightly. A groan escapes Julie's lips and she throws her head from side to side, lost in feeling.

Lissa lowers her head and takes one long lick over Julie's sparse pubic hair, tasting her for the first time. The taste, though not new to Lissa, is different, unfamiliar, and wonderful. She does this a couple more times, allowing Julie to get accustomed to this feeling before delving into her. Julie's hands bury themselves into her hair. At that time, Julie's hips rise to meet Lissa's tongue, driving it between her lips and against her clit. Julie gasps and almost screams.Holy shit! Holy.. .fuck!Lissa decides that Julie's ready enough to continue.

She starts licking Julie's clit slowly, then speeds up a little, then, when she thinks Julie's too close to orgasm, she slows back down.

Julie, frustrated and wanting release, drives her hips into Lissa's face as she grunts and groans; she's more turned on than she's ever been. This feeling is amazing; she's never felt like this. Her body is burning, her nipples are so hard they feel like rocks, her head is spinning, and the tightness inside her is worse than she ever imagined it could be.

Lissa slides a finger inside Julie, knowing that a few thrusts, coupled with some careful licks, will send her over the edge, and she's more than willing to watch her fall over it.One, two, three, four, five. . there it is.Lissa can feel the pressure of Julie's body clamping down on her finger and her clit throbbing under her tongue.

Julie's head is spinning, making the sounds and colors blend and meld into one big bright light. Her heartbeat stutters and her breathing ceases for a long moment. She arches her back and trembles with the feeling pulsing through her body, "God!"

She lets the girl down slowly, bringing her off the climax as gently as possible. She withdraws her finger gently, letting the girl's body surrender it at will. When she's completely free, she makes her way back up Julie's body and nestles herself in the crook of her arm. She smiles with contentment and drapes her arm over Julie's waist.

Julie lies in the dark holding Lissa in her arms and tries to remember a time she felt happier, safer, or more loved. She can't think of a single time in her life when things were going better. She can only remember happy times that pale in comparison to the joy she feels lying in this bed with this woman. She concludes that she's one damn lucky girl.

As sleep steals consciousness from both of them, their arms wrap around each other and they snuggle into the covers. Julie watches lazily as Lissa's eyes drift closed. She smiles.I love you, Lissa. Thank you.

Lissa smiles as she hears Julie sigh, knowing that it's the last conscious breath the girl will take tonight. And she delights in the fact that she was there to hear it.Oh, Julie, I love you so completely. Thank you.

Chapter 25

Monday, June 20

The door to the Whalen University Women's Basketbal suite swings open and a tall brunette breezes through. She smiles at everyone she passes, leaving gaping mouths in her wake. She pays close attention to the names outside the office doors and when she comes to Lissa's, she knocks.

Lissa hangs up the phone in frustration and calls out, "Come in." The door opens and a huge smile breaks across Lissa's face, "Deedra Tatum, you bitch." She stands and rushes around her desk to hug the woman, "God, I am so glad to see you."

Deedra smiles, "You better be! DJ wishes she could be here, but you know how it is being famous."

Lissa shakes her head, "No, actual y, I don't."

"Yeah, you do. Or you will." She puts her bag down, "So this is your office?" She looks around, "It's really nice."

Lissa smiles, "Thanks, I'm really proud of it."

"You should be proud of yourself, Lissa. You have really created something great here."

She laughs, "You're scaring the hell outta my old college coach, let me tell ya."

Lissa crosses her arms over her chest, "Well he should be terrified! We beat 'em once, we'll beat 'em again!" She offers a chair, "Sit. We'll catch up later tonight, but I need to tell you the plan."

Deedra groans and takes a seat, "Nothing worse than Lissa with a plan."

"Oh shush. Alright, we're going to go into the gym and you're going to hang back, hidden from site. They're playing a pick-up game and most of them showed up today.

Tomorrow is Julie's birthday and what she wanted more than anything was to learn how to be the best point guard she could be." Lissa points at Deedra, "That's why you're here."

"Right, right. Is Taylor okay with this? I mean, what if what I teach her is directly against things he teaches her?"

Lissa shakes her head, "It won't happen. You learned everything you know from your college coach and so did he. But I think that it'll sink in more for her if you teach her.

Besides, she's fundamentally very sound. It's the extras she needs."

"Extras?"

"Yeah, you know. The swagger, the confidence, the 'fuck off' attitude."

Deedra smirks, "I have that kind of attitude?"

Lissa takes a long look at how Deedra's sitting. The woman is slumped down in the chair, her blue-jeaned legs spread, hands shoved into her pockets. She grins, "Yeah, you do."

Deedra pulls her hands out of her pockets and sits up straight, "Alright, fine. What time is this game? I gotta change."

Lissa checks her watch, "Right now."

* * *

"Why is it so fucking hot in Georgia?" Deedra whispers as they walk through the gym door cautiously.

Lissa lowers her voice and hides them behind the bleachers, "Because Julie lives here."

She grins when Deedra rolls her eyes.I'm not kidding, I think that's why.

"You're impossible. I can't wait to meet this girl. She better be al that. And worth all of this."

Lissa gives Deedra a serious look, "She's worth this and so much more. And Deera, if I don't remember to tell you later, this was the best week of Julie's life and I'll never be able to repay you for this."

Deedra pulls the woman to her in a hug, "Aww, Lissa, you're welcome. I'm looking forward to it." She giggles softly, "We're huggin' behind the bleachers."

Lissa puts her finger over her lips, "Don't tell DJ and Julie, okay?"

"Hey, I value my life too much to eventhinkabout that." Deedra smiles, "I could barely tell DJ that we had dated before. She didn't seem to mind too much."

“Well you don't have to worry about Julie killing you the way I now have to worry about DJ, apparently." She laughs low, "She doesn't know."

Deedra grins, "Tryin' to keep me a secret, huh?" She winks.

"Not at all. But don't try any funny business while you're here, okay?"With me and especial y not with Julie!

"Funny business?" She acts hurt, "I wouldn't try funny business with you. I'm with DJ."

"Give me a break, Tatum. The last time I saw you, you couldn't keep your damn clothes on! You and DJ hadn't been together in over three months, remember?"And I damned near caved!

Deedra blushes a little, "I remember."

"And you came on to me every chance you got. Don't try to play innocent with me!" She smiles, "But I gotta say.. " she stops herself, "no, I won't say and don't ask." She grins at Deedra's hurt expression, but continues, "Alright, I'm going to cal them to the bleachers and then when you hear your cue, come out."

"Nuh uh," Deedra shakes her head, "DJ says that I can't come out. People would jump all over the story and I'll lose everything I've got."

Lissa rolls her eyes, "Smart ass." She slides from behind the bleachers.

"Better a smart ass than a dumb ass." Deedra retorts.

Lissa cal s out to the women on the floor, "Hey, you guys gather around. Come on, I have an announcement."

The team convenes on the bleachers, chatting about class and basketbal , and the weekend's adventures. Julie catches Lissa's eye as she passes by and she winks and smiles.

Once they're all in place, Lissa stands before them with a sigh. She scans the group, knowing that one of the biggest things to happen to them in their short lives is about to happen. She begins, "Alright, so I know this is just a pickup game and I'm not allowed to coach you at al . But I have a friend of mine in town and she's pretty good at playing ball. So I thought maybe you could include her in your game today. Is that ok with y'all?"

Julie shrugs, "Sure. As long as she can take losing to the national champs." The other girls laugh at Julie's quip and Lissa just nods her head with a knowing smile.

"Right, right. Okay. Well, everyone also knows that it's your birthday tomorrow."

"The big one-nine!" Jackie laughs and punches Julie's arm.

Julie blushes and Lissa continues, "Well, for your birthday I got you exactly what you wanted."

Julie grins, "A convertible?"Or you..covered in whipped cream with cherries. Or you.. covered in chocolate. Or you.. just naked and waiting.

Lissa raises one eyebrow, "Yeah, right." She laughs, "No, but it is terribly cool and looks good topless."

A sharp laugh comes from behind the bleachers and all the girls turn to look. Julie asks, "Is that my gift laughing?"

Lissa smiles and calls to Deedra, "You blew it. Come on out. Ladies," she holds her hand out towards the woman, "meet Deedra Tatum."

Julie's eyes fix on Deedra and she gasps, "Holy shit!"

Jackie shoves Julie excitedly, "Damn! Damn!"

Comparable exclamations come from other members of the equally shocked team as Deedra makes her way to Lissa's side. As she passes Jana, she asks, "Can I have that, please?" She gestures towards the basketball sitting in Jana's hands and the girl hands it over with a stunned look, "Thank you." She comes to stand beside Lissa, holding the basketball on her hip, "So I look good topless?"

Lissa avoids eye contact and shrugs, "So I've been told."

Deedra's eyes and smile immediately fall on the face of the girl in the front row. She's about her own height and weight, with the same long brown hair and big eyes. She reaches her hand out, "I'm Deedra. You must be Julie."

Julie takes the hand and nods, "Yeah, that's me. It's really awesome to meet you."Oh shit! Oh shit! OH SHIT!

Deedra smiles, "My pleasure, totally." She addresses the whole team, "Congrats on the championship. That's so awesome. I was rooting for you once you blew my alma mater out of the water." The girls laugh nervously. She continues, "So I'm told that I'm giving sort of a mini-camp for you." She turns to Julie, "Is this everyone?"

Jackie speaks up, "I'm Jackie." She shakes Deedra's hand, "And we're missing two people. But when we tell them you're here, they'll be here for sure!"

"Well just make sure that only team members know I'm here, alright?" Deedra grins,

"This could get really out of hand if everyone finds out."

Jackie nods, "Absolutely."

Lissa begins backing away, "I'm going to get back to work." She pats Deedra on the shoulder, "They're all yours."

Deedra gives a playful growl and wicked grin, "Thank you. Go me!"

Julie whispers to Deedra as she passes her and follows Lissa, "Excuse me. I'll be right back."

"Take your time." Deedra smiles and starts explaining how things are going to work.

Julie calls out, "Lissa! Wait!" She runs down the hall to catch up to the woman and pulls her into a little alcove in the hallway. She wraps her arms around her, "This is amazing. Thank you so much. I don't even have the words-"

Lissa places a finger over Lissa's lips, "I know. I know what it means to you. And it feels really good to be able to do something for you."

"Are you going to be watching us al week?"

Lissa smiles wickedly, "Nope. Just you." She smiles, "But I'll be keeping an eye on Tatum, too. Just in case she starts acting up. Then I'll have to call in reinforcements."

Julie leans in for a quick kiss, "You don't have to worry about her with me. I have eyes for one woman only. And that's you."

Lissa blushes, "And let's keep it that way, ok?" She winks, "Alright, get back in there."

"One more kiss." Afterwards, she smiles, "Alright, so we're going to see you tonight at the bar-b-que, right?"

"Actually, I'm going to take Deedra out. We've got a lot of catching up to do."

Julie's smile falls a little, "Well alright. When's she leaving?"

"Friday around lunch, I think. Why? Are you sick of her already?"

She laughs, "No. I just don't like that she's taking you away from me."

Lissa hugs the woman tightly, "That's alright. We'll make it. And you can come over and spend the night tonight if you want. She's not staying with me. She got a hotel room."

Julie smiles, "Well then, I'll see you around ten tonight?"

Lissa nods, "Sounds like a plan, gorgeous."

Julie whispers, "Love you."

"Love you."

Chapter 26

Tuesday, July 19

Lissa smiles and takes a deep breath of fresh air. Today she's not Coach. She's not in charge. She's just Lissa, the one who's never been to a baseball game. As she takes her place in line at the concession stand beside Julie, she suddenly feels very normal…and she likes it.

Julie leans over, "What do you want on your dog?"

Confused, Lissa asks, "What?"

"What do you want on your dog?" Julie says it slower, as if that's going to help Lissa understand. When nothing registers on the woman's face, Julie laughs, "Hot dog. What do you want on your hot dog?"

The light bulb goes off, "Oh! I want ketchup, mustard, and mayo."

Julie points to a table on the left side of the concession stand, "That's where you do that. But do you want cheese or relish or slaw?"

Her face scrunches into a disgusted look, "God! No! Who would want that?"Oh my God, who in the hel could eat that on a hot dog?

Julie shrugs and pulls her wallet out of her back pocket, "I like mine with mustard and relish."

"What?" Lissa's eyes widen in horror, "You put pickle relish on your hot dog?"

Julie throws her head back and laughs, "Yes! Have you ever tried it?"

"Hell no! And I'm not going to! That is disgusting!" Lissa shivers at the thought, "God that's gross!"

"To each his own." Julie smiles and places their order, "We want one nude dog and one with relish. Gimme a box of bottlecaps for the blonde standin' over there," she points at Linda. "We'll also take 6 Cokes. Oh, and the blonde wants your phone number, too." She gives a smile to the young guy behind the counter and he laughs.

"I'll put my number on her cup, how's that?" He winks at Julie and then points at Lissa,

"This her first time?"

Lissa gasps, "How did you know?"

He starts filling their drink order, "You have that first timer's look of awe on your face. Nothing wrong with being a basebal newbie."

Julie laughs and grabs a fistful of straws, "We like to call her the Right Field Virgin."

She nudges Lissa playfully with her elbow, "Ain't that right?"

"Why is it that I suddenly feel incredibly stupid?"

"Aw, don't be like that," the guy says, "it's just because they like ya."

Julie leans into Lissa, nudging the woman with an elbow, "Yeah, we like ya."Some of us more than others.

"Alright, this cup is hers." He writes his name and number on the cup and smiles at Lissa, "You're going to have a blast Miss Virginia." He winks, "And hopefully we'll win it for ya." He waves at them as they move to the condiment table, "Y'al have fun!"

After drinks are dispersed, Linda hands out hugs and giggles all around, and hot dogs are dressed properly, they make their way to their seats. After walking what seems like five miles, Lissa asks sarcastically, "Which ballpark are we sitting in?"

Linda laughs, "We have the best seats in the place!"

"We do?" She looks at Julie for confirmation.

Julie turns her baseball cap backwards, "Yep."

They begin their decent into the stands from the concourse and Lissa groans, "Jesus!

We're at the ass end!"

Dana laughs, "We sit below the Marlboro man. That's been Linda's favorite part about coming here. We're right above the right field wall so that when guys hit a homer over here, we have the perfect chance to catch it!"

Lissa holds up her glove, having proudly put two and two together, "That's why we have these!"

"Right!" Julie smiles at the woman and pushes her sunglasses up on her face, "You're sitting here by me, baby."

"Good! I want to impress you with everything I've learned this week! Deedra's been teaching me online!" She takes her seat and turns her cap backwards, too.

Julie smiles, "Looks good on ya, Norman."

"Thank you!" She blushes slightly, "So when does it start?"

"We've got about 3 minutes until the serenade."

"There's music?"

"The National Anthem."

"Oh." She faces forward and checks out her surroundings.

Julie leans over, munching on a bite of hot dog, "Are you gonna eat?"

She laughs at herself, "Yeah. Sorry."

Julie watches as Lissa takes her first bite of a ballpark hot dog. She tries to memorize everything about the moment. The way the sun's shining down on Lissa's very white skin, her own reflection in Lissa's sunglasses, the way Lissa's face turns red when she's choking. She's jolted back to reality, "Oh God!" She starts hitting Lissa on the back, "Cough it up! Come on, cough it up!"

Lissa spits and sputters and finally the bite goes down. She gasps for air and hands her hot dog to Julie. After wiping the tears from her eyes she takes a tentative sip of her Coke.

Julie tries to hand the hot dog back to her, but she refuses it, "I'm not eatin' that! It tried to kill me!"

Julie gives her a sympathetic look, "Aw, are you sure?" Lissa nods and Julie leans forward, "Hey Guy!" The man two seats down looks at her, "You want this hot dog?"

"What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing." She nods towards Lissa, "Newbie can't take it. It's too much for her. It's fixed just like you like it."

He smiles, "Okay."

She passes the hot dog to him and sits back in her seat, "Are you alright, baby?"

"Yeah, I'm alright." Lissa nods and smiles. Seeing that Julie's not convinced, she picks her sunglasses off her nose so that Julie can see her eyes, "I'm fine. I promise."

The announcer comes over the loudspeaker, "Ladies and gentlemen, please rise for our National Anthem. It is being sung today by the Whalen University Gay and Lesbian Choir."

Julie nudges Lissa and points at Jenny, Jana, and Laura, "See 'em?"

Lissa nods, "Yeah! I see 'em!"

Julie shushes her, "Quiet."

As the choir begins to sing, Lissa can feel the heat coming from Julie's body. She gets chill bumps and begins to hum the song. When the song hits its crescendo she shivers and whispers, "Wow, they're really good."

Julie only nods and smiles.

The song ends and everyone in the ballpark applauds. Lissa can't help the big grin that spreads across her face when the announcer screams, "Play ball!"

They take their seats again and Julie laughs as Lissa stands with Linda to sing, "Take me out to the ballgame".

When play begins, Lissa's on the edge of her seat with anticipation. She cheers for both teams because she can't remember which one she's supposed to cheer for. She spills her drink, loses her voice, and cheers wildly for the home team when they finally pull off the 8-6 win.

On the way back to the apartment, she can't stop talking about the game. She thanks Julie for the thousandth time, "Thank you so much for taking me. I really, real y enjoyed it.

We'll have to go again sometime."

Julie smiles, "Sure. Not a problem. I'll get a schedule and let you know when the next game is."

The sheer delight evident on Lissa's face makes the sunburn, the money spent, the all-nighter she's going to have to pull, and the loss of her own voice worth it. Julie soaks up the moment, convinced that they'll have a million more.

Chapter 27

Monday, September 19

“Well I think it"s stupid that you had to go separately.”

No use beating a dead horse.“Mama, I"m here now. I have to go. I love you and will call you later, okay?” Lissa pauses outside the door to the Chestnut Country Club.

“Okay, baby. I love you, too. Bye.”

“Bye.” She puts her cell phone in her evening bag and takes a deep breath, “Here we go.”

***

The reporter smiles at Julie, “So you"re gearing up for another great season. Are you worried about the impact that losing the seniors will have on your team?”

“Not at al .” Julie shakes her head, “We"re a really solid team even after losing Mandy and Steph. We"ve signed some great freshmen. Bridget is bringing some height and Sue will bring speed. So we"re looking forward to it, we"re not going to dwel on what we"ve lost.”

The reporter nods and checks the tape in his tape recorder, “Thank, Julie. I"ll let you get back to schmoozing.” He winks at her and disappears into the crowd.

Jackie slides in beside Julie, “Hey. You look really good.”

Julie looks down at her outfit, a white and black pantsuit, and says, “Thanks. I feel kinda like I"m getting married or something.” She laughs at her own joke.

“Why?” Jackie straightens the collar on her grey button down blouse.

“Because Lissa and I haven"t seen each other in our outfits yet. Kind of like when you get married, how the groom"s not supposed to see the bride until the wedding day, you know?”

Jackie nods, “Got it. Did she even tell you what it looks like?”

“Nope. I don"t know if it"ll be pants or a dress or a skirt or saran wrap.”

Jackie giggles, “Boy, you"d love that, wouldn"t ya?” She takes a quick sip of her drink then a glance at the door, “Well, it"s not saran wrap,” she elbows Julie and nods towards the door, “but she makes anything look awesome.”

Julie turns as Lissa strolls through the door of the ballroom and scans the faces just inside the entrance. She forgets to breathe as she takes in the view. Her gaze sweeps down from Lissa"s hair, pulled up on top of her head, to the dainty earrings dangling from her ears, to the delicate black necklace around her neck, and then down to the dress. It"s black with spaghetti straps and diagonal stripes of tiny rosebuds. There are little bits of flirty lace around the asymmetrical bottom edge, which brush against Lissa"s legs as she makes her way through the crowd.Hel o there, beautiful.

Lissa can feel Julie"s blue eyes on her, but she can"t find them.Being short is a curse, I swear.She smiles at everyone she passes and offers salutations as necessary.Where is she?

Dammit. I hate these fucking heels.She almost steps past Coach Allen but he stops her.

“Oh, Lissa, there you are!” He gently takes her elbow and she smiles. He introduces her to the young gentleman with him, “This is Harold Grayson.”

Lissa immediately recognizes that name as being the gentleman who just recently made a rather large donation to the women"s basketball program. She smiles, “Hello,” she sticks out her hand, “I"m Lissa Norman. I"m an assistant coach for the team. It"s very nice to meet you.”

Just as Harold opens his mouth to speak, Lissa"s eyes find Julie"s smiling face in the crowd behind the man.

Mr. Grayson smiles at her warmly, “You can call me Harry. It"s nice to meet you, too.”

He notices that she"s not really looking at him, and although he"d love nothing more than to continue chatting with Miss Norman, he decides to let her go for now, “We"ll let you get back to mingling. Have a great night, Miss Norman. Go Eagles!”

“Thank you,” she turns her attention back to him briefly, “you too.” She excuses herself and makes a beeline for Julie. As she"s walking, she takes a good look at Julie"s outfit.

She has on a pair of carefully tailored black pants. Her blouse is white and has a soft round neckline that"s cut just low enough to make you want it to be cut just a little lower. Her jacket is black and trimmed in white along the edges, with large white cuffs. Her hair, though hardly ever worn down, is pulled back tonight by a single clip, not in a ponytail. It falls in a soft wave against her shoulders. She"s got little white earrings in her ears and a classy silver watch on her left wrist.Wow. Just…wow.She can"t stop the smile on her face as she approaches the girl.

Julie gives her a sparkling smile in return, “Hello, coach.” She winks, “You look…” she pauses to let her gaze travel over Lissa once again before shrugging nonchalantly, “alright.”

Lissa throws her head back and laughs, “Gee, thanks. You"re looking okay, too. I mean, I wouldn"t wear that, but it"s alright on you, I guess.”

Julie laughs and then looks at her feet. When she looks back up, she shyly whispers,

“You look fantastic. I"m speechless, really.”

Lissa blushes and leans in to whisper, “You look amazing yourself.” She reaches out to stroke the sleeve of Julie"s jacket, “This looks so soft and it is. Oh my God, that"s such a nice outfit, baby.”

Julie shrugs and avoids eye contact because she feels terribly self-conscious, “Yeah, well my mom sent it to me. I didn"t have any idea what to wear, you know.”

Lissa"s jaw drops, “Did shemakethis?”

Julie nods, “Yeah. You know she makes clothes and all. She does mostly kids stuff, but she made an exception for me.” She laughs, “You should have seen me when I was calling her and trying to tel her my measurements. It was hilarious! I had to measure myself but I didn"t have a tape measure, right? So I used a dollar bill because I know that"s six inches.”

Lissa laughs, “You"re kidding!”

“No,” Julie shakes her head with a smile, “I"m not.”

Coach Al en approaches, “Hello, ladies, you two look marvelous. We"re getting ready to start.” He addresses Lissa, “Are you ready?”

Lissa takes a deep breath, “As ready as I"ll ever be.” She takes Julie"s hand, “Have a good dinner.”

“Good luck.” She winks at the woman before Lissa walks away. She watches as Lissa follows Coach through the mass of people who are heading towards their respective tables.

Lissa laughs and shakes hands with people, appearing to mingle, but staying on course towards the front of the room. Her smile never falters; her kind words leave people with a dazed expression and big smiles.She"s truly captivating. God, I love her.Julie makes her way to her own table, watching Lissa all the while.

Along the side of the room, the media photographers camp out in a line against the windows. As Lissa passes, they shake her hand and make nice. As she moves down the line, they turn to each other and give knowing smiles and nudges. Almost every single one of them is smitten on the woman. Julie smiles to herself.They have no clue. She"s with me, boys.She takes a deep, satisfied breath of air.She"s mine. Eat your fucking hearts out.

Lissa takes her seat by the Coach at the front table. As she takes her seat, Carly Gunn, the eight-year-old daughter of David, an assistant coach, gives her a little wave. She is instantly calmed by that little show of support. She waves back and gives the girl a big smile before turning her attention to the room before her.Wow. There are about 500 people here.She takes a big breath.I can do this. I cansodo this. I only have to sit here and answer questions. No big deal. Where"s Julie?She looks around the room and is having a hard time finding her. David, who is sitting to her right, leans over and whispers.

“The girls are at two tables on the left side of the room. Tables 4 and 5.” He sits back up with a smile.

She reaches out, under the table, and squeezes his leg, “Thank you.”

He mumbles with a smile, “No problem.”

She makes eye contact with Julie who smiles at her. She also crosses her eyes and sticks her tongue out. Lissa has to look down at the table in front of her in order to keep from laughing out loud. But there is no stopping the wide grin.Damn her!

Coach Al en stands and takes his place behind the podium. He calls the room to order,

“Ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank you on behalf of the team for coming to this year"s fund raising event. We"re all very excited about the year ahead of us and are very optimistic about what"s in store. As Coach Norman pointed out earlier this summer, that trophy is looking awfully lonely. I think we need to bring it home a twin, don"t you?” The room erupts in applause and laughter. Once the commotion dies, he continues, “I know that there are members of the booster club here as well as the media. And I know you don"t want me to ramble all night about nothing, so we"ll open it up now for questions and then we"ll eat. Please, if you have a question, make your way to the nearest microphone and wait to be called on before asking your question. The team has a microphone too, so if you have a question for them, please feel free to ask it.”

Lissa watches as people move towards microphones. As soon as the first person is ready, Coach cal s on them.Please don't ask me the first question!

“Hello Coach. I was wondering if you are feeling more pressure since winning the championship earlier this year.”

Coach smiles, “Yes. Next?” Everyone shares the laugh and he begins again, “Alright, alright. Yes, we"re feeling a little more pressure than usual. We"ve had alotmore media coverage, as you can tell. And we"re trying to focus on what we"ve got to do to prove that last year was not just a fluke. And I think we will. Thank you for your question.” He points to the next microphone, “Yes?”

“Hello coach, my question is for Julie Whitney.” The speaker turns to Julie and smiles,

“As a former player for a very high profile high school team and program, how are you handling the pressure? Is it harder in college or is this old news to you?”

Julie grabs the microphone from the middle of the table and flicks it on with a smile as she stands to answer, “Um, I"m doing alright.” She shrugs, “It"s just another season to me.

Fortunately, I"ve always been in a spotlight. At times I thought it was a curse, trust me, but now that we"re going through this patch of craziness, I"ve found that my previous experience is helping some of the girls keep a level head. So while it can be considered „old hat" for me, it"s not for them, so that keeps the excitement there for me. Excited without the anxiety,”

she smiles, “that"s the best way to be.” Julie sits as Coach points to another questioner.

“Julie, don"t sit down just yet,” the lady laughs and Julie stands again, “I have a question for you, too. Last year you had a little bet going with Mandy Halpen, which she claims she won. Can you tell us what the bet was and who really won that bet?”

Julie chuckles and glances around the room for Mandy, “Well, if she were here she"d still be claiming to have won. That"s Mandy for ya. But the bet was who could do the prettiest lay-up. And um, Coach Norman,” she nods towards Lissa, “was the judge.” She smiles at Lissa,

“You"ll have to ask her who won.”

I'l kill her. Worse, I'l diss her!Lissa blushes bright red and laughs. She stands just enough to speak into the microphone, “I"m going to have to say Mandy because you still have a few years to perfect your skill, Julie.”

Ah, hel no! That's a low blow, Norman!Julie nods, “Oh, okay, I see. Perhaps I could get some instruction on how to do it better.” She addresses the lady who asked her the question,

“I"ll work on my technique and get some lessons. Maybe by the time I graduate I"ll be as good Mandy was.” Julie sits down giving the evil eye to Lissa, but smiling al the while.

Lissa smiles back.Don"t tempt me to come down there and teach you what I want to teach you.When Coach points at a microphone in the back, Julie turns her head and the clip in her hair catches the light.God, baby, you"re so gorgeous. I love you so much, Julie.

“Coach Norman, can you tell us how the girls have gelled so far? We"ve only lost two people off of last year"s team, so I"m curious as to how they all get along and relate to each other off the court.”

Here we go.Lissa stands and Coach Allen steps away from the podium so that Lissa can speak, “We had six freshmen last year, believe it or not. I think sometimes we forget just how young this team was and still is, in a way. Despite their obvious lack of experience, not just in college level basketbal , but also in college and in life, they have managed to create a team chemistry that most of the coaches in the league are envious of. They relate really well off the court. When we all get together and do team building things, we don"t have to „work"

at all. It just comes naturally for them and it"s wonderful. That chemistry transfers to the court as wel , which is what you get a little piece of when you come and see them play.”

When Lissa steps away from the podium, Coach Allen adds, “Coach Norman has really been an enormous help with team chemistry. It"s amazing the progress she"s made with them.

Most of the things they do sound goofy and girly to me, but who am I to say what college girls like and don"t like? My kids are fifteen and eighteen and both boys!” He laughs with everyone else and points to another microphone, “Yes, sir?”

The young man smiles and blushes just slightly, “Um, my question is for the team.”

“Which player?” Coach Allen asks.

“The whole team, actually, I want to know who"s single and who"s not.” Chuckles can be heard all over the room. But Lissa almost chokes on her water.

Oh shit. What are you guys gonna say now?She waits and watches Julie"s face go suddenly pale.

The microphone lying in the middle of the table is stared at for at least twenty seconds before someone finally picks it up. Dana smiles and stands nervously, “I"ll answer for everyone. Um, we"re all in some form of relationship, really. If it"s not romantic, it"s a relationship with ourselves that we"re trying to work on. Or maybe it"s our team or family relationship we"re concerned with. Regardless, I don"t think there"s anyone on the team who would really cal themselves „single" or who is actively seeking romance right now.”

Jenny stands and takes the microphone, “Yeah, we"re just all working on other things.

We have plenty of time to fall in love. But this,” she motions around the tables, “doesn"t happen every day. And won"t happen when we"re forty. Love might take that long. True love might take longer. So we"re taking time for ourselves, to make ourselves into the best women we can be and that way we"ll have more to offer someone later.”

The young man, a bit dejected, nods and smiles as he takes his seat. Coach Allen laughs, “Basically Coach Norman told „em no booze, bickering, and no boys.”

Lissa giggles, “Right. Exactly.”

The whole team snickers and nods as if it was the truth. Julie covers her mouth to stifle the outright laugh. When Jackie kicks her under the table and mumbles, "Did he say no boobs?" she has to put her head down to control herself.

“Next question?” Coach points at Harold Grayson.

“Coach Norman, we know the dating status of the team. And we know that every other coach in the program is married.” He smiles sweetly, “Areyoucurrently dating anyone?”

Julie"s face goes completely pale and she hears Jackie mutter, “Oh fuck.” Her heart starts pounding as she watches Coach Allen and Lissa exchange a semi-panicked look.Please speak for her. Please. Come on, Coach.

Lissa gulps and tries not to panic. She smiles demurely and gives a glance to Coach who, mercifully, speaks for her, “I would prefer that Coach Norman not answer that. We try to keep the love lives of our coaching staff as personal as possible unless they share it with the public. Lissa"s influence on the team has been one of becoming a strong, independent woman, someone who is self-made without falling into the trap of needing someone to lean on. Then when you join your life with someone else, you can fully contribute to the relationship. She"s working on that and developing her career. And we fully support that.” He smiles, “She"s a beautiful young woman with her whole life ahead of her. Let her live it a little.”

Lissa takes a deep breath and smiles.Thank you, thank you, thank you, Coach. I owe you one.

Julie breathes a sigh of relief.Thank God.She gives a reassuring smile to Lissa and leans over to Jackie, “Crisis averted.” Jackie just smiles and nods.

Over two hours later, Julie approaches Lissa, who is busy saying goodbye to a couple of the other coaches. She gently places her hand on Lissa"s back and softly whispers, “I"m gonna get out of here.”

Lissa excuses herself and walks away with Julie, “Where are you headed?”

“We"re going to Squares, if you want to come out with us.” Julie knows Lissa won"t come. But she likes to include her anyway.

Lissa considers the offer, “What the hell? I"ll go home and change and meet you there.”

She doesn"t even try to hide the shock, “Really?”

Lissa shrugs, “Yeah. I"m not tired. So why not?”

“It"s a dance club,” Julie warns.

“Do you not want me to come?” Lissa laughs.

“No, that"s not it at all. It"s just that you never come when I offer. So for you to say you want to come, I"m pleased, but shocked.” Julie smiles, “But I wouldn"t mind dancing with you.”

Lissa gives the girl a knowing smile and tugs on the lapel of her jacket, “Well, you get a ride with someone. And you can come home with me.Ifyou"re a good girl.”

A wicked smile spreads across Julie"s face, “I'm always good, baby. I"ll see you there in an hour. Wear your dancin" shoes, prissy.”

Lissa salutes as Julie walks away, “Ma"am, yes ma"am!”

Chapter 28

Monday, September 19

Lissa enters the club and pays her cover charge. The bouncer lets her in through the second door, behind which the music is bumping full swing, "Thanks." She puts her wallet in her back pocket as she surveys the room. A couple of guys give her appreciative glances and she just smiles at them without making eye contact. There's a group of women dancing in a huddle in the middle of the floor. As she makes her way around the edge of the dance floor, their hands go in the air. She smiles as she recognizes the National Champions bracelets she bought them.There are my girls.She sees Jana at a table and the girl waves her over. She shouts over the music, "Hey! Is Julie out there yet?"

"Are youkiddingme," Jana laughs, "she's in the damn middle!"

Lissa laughs as another song comes on and the strobe lights start firing. She has to squint, but soon her eyes adjust. She feels the bass from the song thumping in her chest and her body begins to follow suit.

Jana leans over to her, "Want a drink?"

She shakes her head, "No thanks."

"Want me to go get Julie?"

"Nah, let her dance. She'll see me soon enough."

"Okay," she laughs, "I'm going to get a drink."

Lissa nods and begins dancing alone again.Baby you're al that I want…when you're lying here in my arms. I'm finding it hard to believe we're in Heaven.

Julie throws her hands in the air, "Baby you're all that I want. .when you're lying here in my arms." She laughs and closes her eyes as her hips bump against Jenny's. Her body and arms sway to the slower parts and her hips gyrate and grind to the harder ones.This is the last one. Lissa should be here by now.She glances at the door again to check. Then she checks Jana at the table. Only, that's not Jana. Julie stops dancing and screams in Jenny's ear,

"Lissa's here. I'll be back." She makes her way to the edge of the dance floor, her body still moving to the beat, just less obviously. The music changes and she starts singing, "It's getting hot in here. .so take off all your clothes."

Lissa looks up and sees Julie coming her way. Once she reaches the edge of the floor, Julie stops. Lissa's brain freezes, "Oh no…what?"

Julie smiles and gives Lissa a harder look. The woman's wearing a white tank top without another shirt over it, showing off her toned arms. The jeans she has on are low cut, showing off a little bit of her midriff. And she's wearing rather comfy looking dancing shoes.

Her hair's down and worn straight, no frills, just natural, like her face. For jewelry, she only wears a watch.Shit. You are so damn fine.

Damn, I don't know if I can make it home without jumping you.Julie's own clothing is nothing special either, but the girl looks good enough to eat. She's wearing a black tank top and a pair of baggy jeans. The cap on her head is turned backwards, she's added an armband to her right arm and her "everyday" watch instead of the nice, fancy one. To complete the look, she's got on a pair of well-worn tennis shoes and a drop dead gorgeous smile.

Julie steps closer to Lissa and gives her a seductive grin. "You keep lookin' at me like that and I'm gonna have to take you home soon," Lissa smiles.

Julie smiles and nods towards the door, "Let's go then. Cuz I don't think I'll be complainin' about you takin' me home."

Lissa laughs at Julie's attempt to speak "thug", "Oh no?"

"Naw, not at all. You be lookin' all fine like you do. You 'xpect me to be frontin' when you be wantin' me to come home wit' you?" She shakes her head and waves her hand like a gangster, "Naw, ain't gon' be doin' all dat!"

Lissa laughs, "Shut up and kiss me."

"Mmm," Julie pulls the woman into her arms, "yes ma'am." Her fingers hook in the belt loops of Lissa's jeans and as they kiss, she pulls the woman against her. She plunges her tongue into and out of Lissa's mouth, teasing her. When they part, breathing hard, Julie smiles, "Damn, Lissa. I want you so much right now."

Lissa's heart is pounding and she feels the same way. But she didn't get all dressed up without a place to go, "Well I'm sorry tough girl." She pulls herself away from Julie and passes her to walk onto the dance floor, knowing the Julie's watching her ass, "I want to dance." She smiles to herself and doesn't look back over her shoulder as she enters the dance floor, swaying her hips. She puts her hands on her hips and sways slowly to Mya's "My love is like. .WHOA".

Julie takes a deep breath and closes her eyes for a second, "Damn, damn." She follows Lissa, entranced by her body. She gets behind the woman and puts a protective arm around her waist. She leans down into Lissa's ear, "You are so fucking sexy. Damn. You're justtryingto drive me crazy, aren't you?"

Lissa reaches up and behind her own head to wrap her arms around Julie's neck. She leans back against the girl, pushing her chest out and grinding her ass against Julie, "Yep."

Julie's fingers are on the bared flesh of Lissa's belly and she can feel the woman's skin burning under her fingertips. She slides her hands up and just under the hem of Lissa's tank top. She closes her eyes as she takes in deep breaths of Lissa's hair and perfume. They sway like this for a few minutes before Lissa turns around.

She shakes her chest a little bit and laughs. Then she bends her legs a little and puts her hands on her thighs, shaking her ass. Julie shakes her head and snaps her fingers over her head while she watches with a smile. Lissa shimmies and runs her hands through her hair before rubbing them down her body. Julie licks her lips and then lewdly wiggles her tongue at Lissa. Lissa nods and mouths, "Please." Julie laughs and wiggles her fingers in a “come hither”

motion.

Jackie slides up behind Lissa and says into her ear, "Let's show this girl what to do."

Lissa laughs, "Okay."

Julie shoots Jackie a fake evil eye, but watches with amusement.

Jackie turns Lissa so that Julie can get the profile of both of them. Then she puts Lissa's arms around her neck while sliding her leg between Lissa's. She leans in to Lissa's ear again, "Now you gotta work it with me. Really make her jealous, okay?" When she pulls back, Lissa nods at her. They begin grinding together, Jackie with one arm around Lissa's waist and the other on her cap. She watches Lissa's body undulate and suddenly finds herself jealous of Julie. "Damn, work it, girl!"

Lissa's having the time of her life. She grinds against Jackie hard, pressing her hips into her even as her shoulders drop back, pulling Jackie's face into her chest. Jackie doesn't seem to mind; she slides her tongue out of her mouth and wiggles it in the air above Lissa's breasts. Lissa takes her hand and puts it in her own hair, giving Julie an unobstructed view of their "dance". Out of the corner of her eye she sees Julie and the others watching and pointing.

Jackie moves the hand closest to Julie down to cup Lissa's ass. Then she uses it to lift Lissa's leg up onto her hip. Their faces are centimeters apart and if you didn't know them, you'd think they were seconds from smothering each other with kisses.

Jenny punches Julie on the arm, "Okay, now. Go."

"What?"

"Go get her! Fuck! Jackie's gonna kiss her!" Jenny points to the dancers.

"Nah," Julie takes a drink, "she wouldn't do that. That's not Jackie's style. If I wasn't with her, she might, even though she's the coach. But she knows better."She better know better!

The song fades out and Jackie lets Lissa's leg go, but holds onto her by the waist. She speaks into her ear one last time, "Julie's one lucky,luckybitch."

Lissa blushes, "Thank you, Jackie. Anyone who gets you is one lucky bitch herself."

Jackie lets her go, but shakes her head and sighs as the woman walks away.What a woman. Damn.

Lissa saunters up to Julie, "You gonna dance with me now?"

Julie smiles as one of her favorite songs comes on, "Sure, let's go." She grabs Lissa's hand and pulls her towards the floor, but Lissa doesn't move.

"This is country!"

"You can't dance to country?"

"Well, I don't know how!"

Julie smiles and drops her hand to throw her cap onto the table, "Watch me." She turns on her heel and walks towards the middle of the floor. Jackie, Julie's country line dancing student from last year, is already on the floor and ready to go. To Lissa's amusement, they slap hands much like they do on the basketball court. Then they prepare themselves by getting in line. People line up all around and then they count off the beginning.

Julie sings, "Well I'm an eight-bal shootin' double-fisted drinkin' son of a gun! I wear my jeans a little tight just to watch all the boys come undone!" She laughs and twirls. "I'm here for the party!"

Jackie sings, too, "I may not be a ten but the boys say I clean up good!" She points at Julie who just laughs at her as they kick-ball-chain.

They swivel their hips and kick one leg, then repeat the motion on the other side. Then they rock their hips from side to side, then in a circular motion as they rub their hands up and down their thighs.

"Ah ah, you know I'm here for the party! And I ain't leavin' til they throw me out!"

Julie sings with abandon, raising her hand above her head as if she's throwing a lasso. She hooks a thumb in her belt loop and as the song ends, moseys back over to Lissa, "See? Ain't nothin' to it!" She winks, "Want a drink?"

"Nothin' to it?" Lissa laughs, "I'd hurt myself! Yeah, I'll come with you." She turns to the others, "Anyone want anything?" Jackie says she wants to come with them and Lissa grabs Julie's hand, allowing her to lead the way. As they approach the bar, a guy stops them.

"Hey coach!"

Lissa drops Julie's hand immediately because he steps in between them. Jackie runs into her when she stops walking, but Lissa smiles at the man, "Hey! How are you?"

He smiles, "Not bad." He slides up very close to Lissa and looks down at her chest,

"How about you? You're looking mighty good."

Julie looks back and her brow furrows. She tracks back and smells the alcohol before she ever sees the man talking to Lissa. She stops to view the situation before saying anything.She's okay.She decides to just bide her time and hope that he just lets her go. She hopes that having Jackie right beside them will deter him from doing anything stupid.

Lissa smiles sweetly, "Well thank you. I'm doing fine. I have to go, though." She starts to walk away, but he grabs her arm.

"Naw, now, you gotta dance with me. It's only right, me being such a big fan of the Eagles and all." He laughs at his own joke and sets his beer down with every intention of dancing with the woman.

Jackie pipes up now, "Hey, we really do have to go."

Lissa gives her a desperate look and then turns back to the guy, "I really have to go.

I'm sorry." She tries to free herself from the guy's grip, but he's not letting go.

"Now just hold up." He wraps his free arm around her waist and pulls her against him,

"I just want one dance." He begins to move back and forth with her, smiling down at her all the while.

Lissa tries to smile back, but it's weak. Jackie notices and taps the guy on the shoulder, "Hey, sir, I don't think she wants to dance. She's been dancing a lot tonight. Why don't you let us get a drink and then let her rest a minute?"

He sneers at Jackie, "Who the fuck are you? Go away! She's dancin' with me."

Julie steps up now on the other side of him and taps him on the shoulder, "Excuse me?"

The man turns to her and she says very firmly, "Let her go."

Pissed now, he lets Lissa go, but only to get in Julie's face. He's got a good 4 inches on her as far as height is concerned, but Julie figures she can take him easily in strength,

"What the fuck does it matter to you?"

She doesn't back down, even though his breath is horrendous, "She's my coach. And she's here with us. That's why it matters to me. Now step back."

"Boy, you're justbeggin'for an ass whoopin' aren't you?" He shoves his shirt sleeves up on his arms in an effort to intimidate her.

He fails miserably, "It's highly doubtful that you could whoop my ass, sir. On top of the fact that I can bench-press two hundred pounds without breaking my breathing pattern, I think you're too damn drunk to stand back up when I knock your ass to the floor. So I think it's best you don't even try picking a fist fight with me."

Jackie takes off for the door and the nearest bouncer. Lissa just stands and stares in awe. She's not entirely sure what she's supposed to do. She feels so helpless and she's beginning to shake. Her heart is pounding but she's frozen in place with fear.

The man scoffs at her, "Yeah, right! You think you could kick my ass?"

Julie blinks, "Sir, if I reach out right now and grab you by the bal s, I have enough strength in my arm and adrenaline in my blood to pop the fuckers like pimples. Do you really want to try me?"

Lissa almost laughs, but covers her mouth.Damn, she's even scaring me!

Jackie arrives with the bouncer, Jeff, and points at the man, "That's him."

Jeff watches a moment, "Oh hell, that's Gary." He sighs, "What's she saying? Is she scared of him?"

Jackie laughs, "Hell no! I came to get you forhim, nother!"

Jeff laughs, "Oh. Well then, let's go!" They move in and Jeff grabs Gary by the arm,

"Come on, buddy. You've had enough tonight."

Gary points at Julie as he's being escorted out, "She said she could pop my balls like zits!"

Jeff laughs, "Well if I were you, I'd remember that and not mess with her next time."

He tips his hat at the ladies, "Have a good night, now."

Julie nods at him and takes a deep breath before asking Lissa, "Are you alright, baby?"

"Oh my God," Lissa hugs the young woman, "let's go home. Please?"

Julie laughs, "Why?"

"That was the scariest thing I've been through in a long time. Please, just come home with me now. I've had enough."

Julie strokes Lissa's cheek, "Alright baby, we'll go. Let's get my cap."

As they leave the club, they thank Jeff one more time. He says he'll watch them as they make their way to the car so that Gary doesn't mess with them. When they reach the vehicle, they wave at Jeff and he disappears.

They hold hands for the entire ride home. Talk is minimal at best, Lissa thinking about the confrontation, and Julie remembering the jealousy that she felt watching Jackie's hands move on Lissa's body. When they reach Lissa's apartment door, Lissa fumbles with her keys, her hand still shaking. Julie takes the keys from her and unlocks the door. As they enter the apartment, Lissa breaks down into tears.

Julie wraps her arms around the woman and holds her tightly, "Aw, baby, let it go. He scared the hell out of you, didn't he?" Lissa nods against Julie's chest as sobs shake her shoulders. Julie sighs, "Mother fucker. I'm so sorry baby. You're fine. You're safe right here. I'll always protect you when I can, I swear that, okay?" She pulls back and lifts Lissa's face to hers, "You trust me, right? You know I'll take care of you?"

Lissa nods, "Yeah, but you can't protect me from everything. And the scary part is that I," she chokes back a sob, "I couldn't do a damn thing about him. I was so frozen."

Julie nods, "I know, baby. I know." She rubs her hands all over Lissa's back in an effort to comfort the woman, "You're okay now, though. You're safe. I got you."

Lissa wipes her face and calms down considerably. She pulls back, "I'm so sorry I broke down." She looks up into Julie's eyes, melting the woman's heart with her tear-stained face, "Thank you so much for sticking up for me. I can't ever thank you enough."

Julie blushes slightly, "It was nothing really. I always had to stand up against jerks in high school for my friends. I learned how to handle them by not letting on that you're scared shitless."

"You sure didn't look scared." Lissa shakes her head.

She brushes a tendril of hair from Lissa's face and smiles, "I was. I was pretty damn scared. But if he'd really done anything, I know how to defend myself, too. I guess it's the southern girl in me or something."

Lissa takes a ragged breath and wraps her arms around Julie again, "God, I was so scared. But I'm glad you're a southern girl." She kisses the side of Julie's neck, making Julie moan.That has to be the sexiest sound on Earth.

"You keep doing that and you might eventually make it up to me."Oh God, please don't stop!

Lissa keeps her arms around Julie's neck but leans back to face her, "You think so?

You think that little southern girl could come out and play with me?"

"Well," she shrugs, "it's damn sure worth a try."

Lissa leans in and kisses her neck again, softer this time. Then she licks a wavy line along the girl's jaw and to her lips for a kiss. Julie shudders against her and grabs her ass.

"God damn, I want you now." Julie growls before kissing her hard again.

They make their way down the hall, kissing and removing clothing. Once they make it to Lissa's room, they're naked. Julie pulls Lissa into the bed and covers them with the blanket with a yell, "Ye haw!"

Chapter 29

Monday, September 26

Julie playfully punches Jackie in the arm and mumbles, "Shut up!"

Jackie pretends to be in severe pain, "Oh my arm! Coach, Whit punched me!"

Her head snaps up and Lissa gives a menacing look to the girls, "Girls, don't make me come back there. Behave."

Jenny turns around and scoffs with a smile, "Yeah, girls. Behave."

Julie sticks her tongue out at Jenny and giggles. When she looks back towards the front of the room, her eyes catch Lissa's and she blushes. She bites her bottom lip and tries not to remember what the coach looks like naked and writhing on her bed.Could we get away with having sex in her office?

Lissa smiles as she takes a spot in front of the team, "My name is Lissa Norman. Most of you know me, but for Sue and Bridget, our two freshmen, you can cal me Coach. This is my second year here at Whalen and I plan to make it my best so far."

"Last year was pretty good, though." Julie remarks.

Linda laughs, "Yeah, well you kind of had anexceptionalyear, Whit."

Lissa holds up her hand to quiet the snickers, "Alright, enough of that." She can't stop the blush in her cheeks, though. She shoots a look at Julie to let her know to cool it and continues, "I'd like for each of you to introduce yourselves when I call your name. Let the new kids know your rank, age, and position. Gayle, you're first."

Gayle nods, "Sure, pick on the girl at the front of the alphabet. I'm Gayle Andrews.

I'm a sophomore and I play guard when Whit lets me."

Lissa shakes her head with an amused expression, "Cindy."

"Cindy Atkins. Junior. Guard and forward."

"Jackie."

"Jackie Baits. Sophomore. Center. Whit's buddy. Single, chocolate flavored lesbian."

The whole room fills with laughter and Jackie smiles with glee. Lissa smiles but keeps them on track, "Beth."

"Beth Eddy. Sophomore. Center. Also single."

Cindy's hand goes up, "Coach?"

"Yes ma'am?"

"Can I add that I'm single, too?" She giggles.

"Duly noted, Cindy, thank you." Lissa shakes her head and sighs, "Jenny."

"Jenny Moers. I'm a forward and center and also a junior. But I'm taken. Quite happily."

"Laura."

Laura blushes bright red, "Laura Moran. Junior center. And um. I'm kinda in a sexual sorta thing."

From the back, most likely from Jackie, comes, "Booty call!" The room breaks out in spontaneous giggles, much to Laura's horror. She hides her face, but she's laughing.

Lissa gains control again, "Alright, alright. Linda, you're up."

"Linda Nyers. Five-nine sophomore forward and guard. Also single, but straight."

Jenny snorts, "Today, anyway."

Linda shoots her the evil eye, but Lissa preempts any discussion, "Gretch."

"Gretchen Paine. I'm a single senior center who is six foot-one with long fingers."

In a mocking tone Julie adds, "I like star gazing, home cooking, and a woman who cleans up after herself."

Gretchen whirls around in her chair with a fake glare, "Whit, don't make me bring out the laundry you leave at your girlfriend's place."

Lissa covers the smile on her face, "Gretch, let's get back on track, okay?" She nods at the girl who turns back around with a smile, "Alright, Tammy, you're up."

"I'm Tammy Sherman and I'm a junior forward. I'm six two and I have longer fingers than Gretchen." She gives Lissa a proud smile.

Lissa smiles at the girl, "Good lord! Jana?"

"Jana Temple. Senior. Forward. Six one. I'm single, but not a hornbal ."

"That'swhy you're single." Jackie laughs.

Jana laughs with everyone else, "Probably so."

"Dana, you're next." Lissa interrupts the exchange.

"Dana Tess. Sophomore. . barely. I'm a forward and center. And I'm straight and single. So if either of you have cute brothers, hook me up." She smiles at the two blushing freshmen.

Lissa laughs, "Alright." She nods at Julie, "Whit."

Holding Lissa's eyes, Julie stands abruptly, "Julie Whitney, six foot-one sophomore guard from Planco, Texas, reporting for duty, ma'am."

Jackie laughs as Julie takes her seat again, "We call her Whit and she's uh…" she shoots a look at coach, "practically married."

"Thank you, Jackie for letting everyone in on that tidbit of information." Lissa says with a fake sneer, "Okay, enough of that." She addresses the freshmen, "Sue, we'll let you go first. Please tell us your whole name and where you're from."

Sue begins to speak nervously, "Su-" she clears her throat and starts over, "Suzanne Bailey is my whole name, but people cal me Sue or Bailey. Um, I'm from Oregon. I play forward. And," she anxiously glances around the room, "I'm single, too."

Lissa smiles at the young girl, "Sue, in this room, when you don't state a particular sexuality, they assume that you're gay. You don't have to share anything else if you don't feel comfortable, but please believe me when I tell you that it'll eventually come up again.

Would you like to go ahead and get it out of the way?"

Sue shakes her head and manages to say, "No, well, I mean," her voice trails off, "yeah, I'm gay."

Jackie claps her hands and beams, "Hell yeah!"I'm gay.' Right on!"

Lissa waves her hand at Jackie to quiet her, "Alright, Bridget, your turn."

Bridget laughs, "Um, I'm Bridget Napier from New York. I'm about as gay as they get.

And I'm a center."

"And you're really fucking tall," Julie remarks.

"Yeah, I'm really fucking tall." Bridget laughs, "Oh, and they cal me Bridge or Nape."

Lissa nods, "Alright, now that we all know each other-"

Jackie speaks up, "Well who are you?"

Lissa stops cold, "Huh?"

Julie nods, "Yeah, you didn't introduce yourself completely. I mean, we know your name but it's hardly fair that you know more about us than we know about you. Go on. It's your turn. You're up." She leans forward in her chair with a smirk on her face.

Lissa sighs, "I'm Lissa Norman. I don't go to school here, nor do I play basketball anymore. There, happy?"

"No. We'd like to know your relationship status, please." Jackie's eyes twinkle with mischief.

Lissa's eyes narrow, but she smirks, "I'm taken."

"Taken?" Julie chal enges.

Lissa crosses her arms over her chest and smiles, "Yes. I am spoken for. . .attached. I have a special someone in my life."

“Oh, really?" Jackie smiles, "How special?"

The new girls look at their coach eagerly as the others whisper and giggle quietly. Lissa is only slightly amused by the situation, but she's not completely angry about it, either,

"Veryspecial."

“Are you in love?"

"Yes, Jackie, I am."

Julie and Jackie share a look and then Julie clears her throat, "Does your.. special someone feel the same?"

Lissa nods, "I believe so, yes."

"And is this person younger than you or older?"

"Younger." Lissa's not sure how far Julie's willing to take this conversation, but she'll play along if it makes her happy.

Bridge asks sheepishly, "Um, coach? Is this a guy or a girl?"

Lissa clears her throat and takes a shaky breath, "Well," she begins, looking around at the expectant faces staring back at her, "it's a woman."

The girl"s face breaks out with a huge grin, "Are you kidding me?"

She faces the astonished girl, "No, Bridge, I'm not kidding. I'm in love with a woman."

She gives the girl a reassuring smile and attempts to wrap up the interrogation, "Alright, that's enough about me."

"No, just one more question."

Lissa turns to the speaker, "Yes, Whit?"

She smiles a little smile at Lissa, "Are you going to see this very special woman any time tonight?"

Lissa thinks for a moment, "Yes, I believe so. She's got an open invitation to my apartment at any time. And I certainly want her there any time she wants to be there." She takes a breath, "So, yes. I am sure I'll be seeing her tonight. Is that acceptable to you?"

"Most definitely." Julie leans back in her chair, quite delighted with herself. Then she adds playfully, "I hope y'all have a real y.. ." she searches for a word, "greattime getting as close as you possibly can."

She almost laughs out loud at that, "I bet we will."

Jackie giggles and Julie sits back in her chair, "Oh, I bet you will, too."

Lissa addresses the whole team now, "Alright, starting today those of you who call me Lissa in public can't do that anymore. I now put on the title of coach to you. I know it's going to be hard, but you have to abide by the rules of separation here." She immediately allows her gaze to fall on Julie, who will have something to say about this.

"But what about those of us who know you off the court and away from school?"

Yep, I knew you"d have an issue with this.Lissa sighs, "If any of you have a problem with cal ing me coach, I'll have to speak to you individually."

Jackie nudges Julie and whispers, "That's bullshit."

Julie waves her hand, "Nah, it's alright. She won't make me cal her that in bed." She gives the girl a wink and listens through the rest of Lissa's speech.

When the talk is over and the team is filing out into the gym for their first practice, Julie stops to talk to the coach, "Hey."

"Hey." Lissa smiles at the girl and squelches the overwhelming urge to kiss her.

"I don't have to call you coach at home, right?"

Lissa's face softens into a small smile, "Well, actually, we need to talk about that."

Instantly Julie's blood runs cold, "You're not going to-"

Lissa stops her, "No. No. Nothing like that." She watches as the last girl exits the room and then she moves to stand before Julie, "We just have to watch ourselves. See, everything was fine this summer when I'm technical y not your coach because I can't be. But when the season starts, like right now, I'm your coach. And although there is no rule in the books on it, we shouldn't be having a relationship. So to keep up appearances you should call me coach and we shouldn't be seen with each other like that."

Julie, obviously hurt by this news, balks, "But Lissa, I can't just click over like that. .

from love of my life to coach. It's not right or fair."

"Listen, sweetie, I know it'll be hard. But it's the only way this will work." Lissa reaches out and strokes Julie's cheek, "Please understand."

"I'm trying. Does this mean that I can't come over?"

Lissa bites her lip, "It doesn't mean you can't ever come over. But it does mean that you shouldn't come over alone a lot."

Julie gives a sigh and mumbles, "This is going to take some getting used to."

"I know, baby. But that doesn't mean you can't ever come over! And it's only for the season, not forever."

Julie mocks, "Oh yeah, that's right. It's only six months out of the year, not nine or ten or the whole year."

"Look, I don't like it any more than you do. But I like my job and I love you. So I had to come up with a compromise. And this is the best I could do."

Julie sighs and pulls the woman into her for a hug, "I know. It just sucks."

She sighs against Julie's chest, "Yes, it really does." They break apart and Lissa motions towards the door, "You better get out there. They're already going to pick on you for lagging behind this long."

Julie leans in for a kiss, "I don't care. Let 'em pick. They're just jealous."

After the kiss Lissa smiles, "Now get. Don't get me trouble."

Julie ambles towards the door, "Fine, fine. You comin'?"

"In just a second."

Julie leaves the room and Lissa leans against the table with a sigh, "Please God, let this work. And please, God, don't let me get in trouble."

Chapter 30

Tuesday, October 18

"What do you mean?" Lissa shakes her head, "What picture?" I don't remember posing for any pictures.

Coach Taylor tosses the paper towards Lissa, "It's from last week. You took the girls out after the game, remember?"

Lissa stares at the picture with an open mouth, "Oh God."Oh my God! Oh shit! Oh shit!

They'd just entered the bar and never dreamed anyone was watching. The story is not that Lissa took underage kids to a bar. They hadn't gotten sloppy drunk and done something stupid. Instead, Julie had pulled her into a corner just inside the door and smiled seductively at her. They hadn't touched each other in days. But nevertheless, some reporter had managed to get a picture. It features Lissa and Julie locking lips rather passionately. And now it's plastered all over the newspaper.

Taylor sighs, "I know you didn't mean it. So before you start gushing apologies, let me just say that you're not going to be fired. But we do have to take drastic measures with this."

Drastic? I don't care! I'm in!Lissa looks up at him, "Of course, whatever we need to do.

Just tell me."

"I hope you're ready for this." He takes a deep breath, "Obviously you need to cool it with Julie. That goes without saying, I'm sure. But because that picture is not of her face, we're going to say it's not her."

Wait. I'm confused."It'snotJulie?" Lissa looks at the picture again and notices that anyone else looking at the picture might not know for sure that it's Julie. "I guess we could say that." She looks back up at Taylor, "But who is it, then?"

He sighs, "That's the hard part. You're going to have to have a girlfriend now. Do you know Ashley Nihart from Accounting?"

Lissa searches her brain and comes across a mental image of the woman, "Yeah."

He points at the picture, "That's her. She's twenty-three, single, and gay. She's also tall and has long brown hair. That's her in the picture. You've been dating just a little while.

And you don't have to date much longer if you don't want. But for the sake of this, you should date for at least a couple of months. Through the rest of the season for sure, though." She opens her mouth to protest, but he cuts her off, "Lissa, listen, I know that this is harsh. But your situation, though shockingly like my own past, is a lot more delicate. We're dealing with national media now. Since winning the championship we have to pay attention to more than we ever dreamed. This is one of the things we have to focus on. We have to make sure that we're running the tightest ship we can. And although people around here aren't that conservative, they will frown on lesbian coaches dating their players. That's just a fact of life. A hard fact, to be sure, but a fact nonetheless."

She doesn't mean to whine, but it comes out that way, "I've never even met Ashley. I don't even know her. What am I going to tell Julie?"What in the hel am I going to tel Julie?

Oh baby, please don't be mad.

He shakes his head, "I don't know, Lissa. But it should come from you, not from me."

She hangs her head, close to tears, "Okay." After a moment of silence she looks back up, "When should I tell her?"

"Our office is releasing a statement in about an hour. Ashley's agreed to be your cover for as long as you need one. She's being very brave about this. You're to meet with the team in twenty minutes and get your story straight. But it would be a shame for Julie to find out like that. So you should tell her in private immediately." He watches as she almost crumbles, and although his heart breaks for her, he forges on, "And Lissa, you cannot see her any more outside the basketball program. For the remainder of the season, you are coach and player only. Are we clear? This is for Julie's sake. For her future, we have to do this."

For Julie. .I will do this for her. Because I love her.Her jaw clenches, helping her hold back the tears a little longer, "Yes." She stands to leave.

He watches as she walks out the door and wipes his cheek when the first tear falls on her behalf.

She closes the door to her office and takes a seat behind her desk. She lays the paper down and picks up her phone. Her fingers find the numbers and dial it from memory.God, give me strength.It rings once before Julie answers.

"What's going on?" Her voice is panicked, "Jackie showed me the picture. What the hell are we going to do?"

Surprisingly calm, Lissa asks, "Where are you?"

"I'll be there in a second." She closes her phone and pushes through the door to the basketball suite.

Lissa hangs up the phone and hears Julie's steps coming down the hal . She prepares herself for the confrontation ahead.Keep it together, Lissa. This is for her. For Julie's future. For our future. For the team.Julie knocks, and she sighs, "Come in."

Julie enters and closes the door behind her, "I am so sorry, baby."Please, oh please, don't break up with me! Please don't leave me, Lissa!

I want to hold her! I want to kiss her! God! I need strength!"Sit down."

She gulps, "This isn't good, is it? I mean, I know it's not." She takes a seat on the other side of Lissa's desk, "I'm sorry. I can't tell you how very sorry I am."

Ok, just blurt it out. Just get it out!Lissa's eyes rise to meet Julie's, "Julie, we can't see each other anymore. Not in public. Not in private. I still love you very much. And I'm still in love with you. But right now, with all the hype and media attention, we can't risk it as a basketball program."

Oh God, I'm going to faint! It's hot in here! Lissa! Lissa, no! NO! She's too stunned to speak much, but she sputters, "I. .ok."

"The office is going to release a statement today. They're going to say that the woman in the picture is not you. It's Ashley from Accounting. She looks kind of like you. Enough that people will believe it. Because they want to believe it. Very few people will know the truth and we are going to keep it that way." She drops the strong façade and sighs before closing her eyes, "I can't believe this happened."

Julie's brain whirrs on overdrive, "I'm so mad! Who took it? Where was he? Why did he print it? This was a pretty fucking low thing to do."

Lissa opens her eyes again, "Julie, I'm going to cal a meeting of the team and we're going to talk about this. Get our story straight, so to speak. But I wanted to tell you in person because that's only right."

I can't stand this! No! I won't do this!Julie gets up suddenly and rounds the desk. She turns Lissa's chair so that the woman's facing her and kneels on the floor, "I love you, Lissa.

Please don't do this. We can think of something else. Please. I have to be with you. I love you too much to let this be the end of us."

Oh, baby!Lissa cups Julie's face, "Sweetie, thisisn'tthe end. We just have to cool it for a while. I just have to pretend that Ashley and I are dating long enough for the media to forget all about this and then we can move on and be a lot more careful."

Julie shakes her head defiantly, "No! You're going to be pretending to date another woman?" Her eyes fill with tears and she stands, "No. I can't watch that." She clenches her fists in anger, "There has to be another way!" I won't do this! Ican'tdo this! This is worse than being kicked off!

Lissa stands, "Julie there's nothing else we can do."Please understand! Please know that I'm doing this for you!

The younger girl searches for a solution and turns her back on Lissa, "I can't do that.

I'll just come out. I'll tell them that I'm gay and I kissed you in haste to see if you liked me back and you don't." She whirls around on her heel, "But you can't date someone else. I can't watch that! Please,pleasetell me that you won't do that."Please, baby! I need you to be mine!

I can do this without you but I can't do it watching you with another woman at the same time!

"Baby, I don't have a choice." Lissa pleads, "Please understand! This is out of my hands.

This is the only way that I can keep my job and you can keep your position and scholarship! It was their idea, not mine."

Fine! I'l go to the top! As far up as I have to! I willnotdo this!"Then I'll talk to coach."

Julie turns to go and Lissa grabs her arm.

"No. Julie, listen to me. Please." She turns the girl towards her, "Listen to me. This is the only way. Please don't do this. Don't make it worse."

Julie doesn't say anything for the longest time. She simply looks at Lissa with a blank expression.I can't believe you're asking me to do this! Will it be easy for you? Pretending to care for another woman while I'm there wanting and needing you? If you can do that, do you real y love me?Then she responds, "I don't like it. I love you more than anything else on this planet. And I'll go along with this fucked up lie to protect you, not me. But trust me, Lissa; itdoesn'tget worse than this." With that, she storms out of Lissa's office and to the conference room where the rest of the team is assembled.This is bullshit! And someone is going to pay!

Lissa takes a deep breath to calm her nerves. She stands outside the conference room door preparing her speech. There's a low murmur on the other side of the wall and she's certain everyone's seen the picture by now. Her heart goes out to Julie even though she doesn't know what kind of atmosphere she's about to walk into. She mumbles, "Here goes nothin'."Or. .everything.

As she steps into the room, every voice is quieted. All but two eyes in the room are on her. The two eyes that aren't, belong to Julie and they're looking out the window. She's sitting in the back, far away from the door (and Lissa), with her arms crossed over her chest.Please look at me, baby. Oh, God, please let her understand!Lissa sighs and begins, "I'm not going to pussyfoot around. I know each of you have either seen the picture or heard about it. You've all been called here so that we can discuss what the university and our program is going to do to address the situation."

Dana speaks up, angry, "This is so fucked up. Who took this picture? We'll kill him."

Others chime in with their statements of agreement.

Lissa raises her hands, "Girls, come on. Listen to me, okay?" They quiet and she continues, "I'm mad too. And hurt." She looks directly at Julie, who's still not looking at her,

"Trust me. It hurts like hell. Andtrustme, I'm more mad than most of you." She gives up on willing Julie look at her and addresses the rest of the team, "But we've got a plan to reconcile this problem. The person in that picture is Ashley Nihart from Accounting. That's our story. And although most of you were there with us, you didn't see anything. Do you understand me?"

Everyone nods at her, except Jackie and Julie. Jackie shoots a look at her friend and then back at Lissa, anger dripping off of every word, "So you're just going todumpJulie?" At this, Julie's face turns to the front of the room.

Lissa's shoulders slump and every girl in the room is looking at her now, "No." She looks into Julie's eyes, "I love her. You all know that. But there's nothing I can do. My hands are tied." Julie looks back out the window and Lissa wishes that Jackie would make some smart remark about having her hands tied up. When it doesn't come, Lissa continues, "Ladies, I can't take it if you're mad at me. Please, let's talk about this. But please,pleasedon't turn your backs on me. I don't know what to do!" Without warning her tears begin to flow. She takes a seat and buries her head in her hands, "They won't listen to reason, and they won't hear me out! They came up with this plan and it's the only way according to them. I don't have any say in it. But this is the only way I can keep my job and Julie can stay on the team!"Please! Please, someone believe me! This hurts so fucking bad! I'l just quit! I can't do this!

Dana reaches out and rubs Lissa's arm. She speaks to the team quietly, "Alright, we don't like it. And it sucks ass. But I believe her when she says there's nothing she can do.

Now we have to go out there and tell them that we don't know anything. And give them both as much support as possible in private. Now come on. We can't be pansies about this. That's the situation. We've got to take it and make it work. We can do this, right?"

Jenny looks around at the others, "Yeah. We can totally do this. We'll make it through this, coach. You got us."

"Yeah. I mean, they'll probably jump all over the fact that you're gay and forget who you were kissing." Beth bites her lip, "So we'll just act like it's no big deal. Because it'snot."

Lissa wipes her eyes with the tissue that Bridget hands her, "Thank you, ladies. All of you. I just feel so. .betrayed. I want to go home and go to bed and lay there for days." With you, baby.. with you Julie, only you!Her gaze lands on Julie's face. The girl isn't looking out the window anymore; she's staring at the floor, tears falling down her cheeks. Lissa closes her eyes quickly, but Jenny catches her looking.

"Alright, look, I know that this is hard. But the two of you are going to have to keep it together. You are the two most in love people I know. You give me hope that one day I'm going to find someone who loves me and won't cheat on me and will stick with me through everything." She turns to Julie and nods towards Lissa, "Now get over here and give her a hug."

Fuck no! It hurts too much!Julie's eyes fill with tears as she looks into Jenny's face.

She answers, "Drop it, Jen."

Sensing that an argument is on the horizon, Sue pipes up, "So what do we do about our parents? I mean, are you going to come out? What do we do if they want to pull us out?"

Oh God, I didn't think about that."If any of your parents want to talk to me, they certainly can. But no one will get pulled off this team. I'd quit first."

Linda nods at Julie, "What aboutyourparents? What are they gonna say?"

With venom in her voice, Julie answers, "It's notme, remember?" She sighs and softens, "I'm sorry. They won't say anything. I've been out since I was in high school." She turns a pointed look at Lissa, "I'vegot nothing to hide."

Jackie sits up, "Alright, we've got the story. Almost all of us are on board with it. Can we go now?"

Lissa nods and Jackie's the first one out the door, followed closely by Julie. She watches as the two girls walk down the hallway and sees Jackie throw her arm around Julie's waist. She wishes with every bone in her body that it was her arm.I love you.. please know that! I still love you, Julie.

Chapter 31

Tuesday, October 18

Lissa throws her keys on the table by her front door and closes the world out with a sigh. She hangs up her jacket and collapses on her couch. Taking a nap right then and there crosses her mind, but her cell phone rings and as she pulls it out of her pocket she prays that it is Julie. She reads the caller ID display and it's not her. She flips her phone open, "Hey Farrah."

"What are they going to do? Are you suing? What's going on? Should I come over?"

Lissa sighs and recounts the story of her day to her best friend. Farrah supplies the customary gasps and moaning while reserving comment until the entire story has been told.

"So she's still mad at you?" Farrah asks.

"Yeah. She didn't say a single word to me for the rest of the day. I did that damn press conference and got torn to pieces. I would have loved to have her there to hold me after. Even to look into her eyes and know she still loves me no matter what, but," she takes a ragged breath, close to tears, "it didn't happen."I'm not going to live through this. I'm not.

"Well," Farrah sighs, "she's a damn fool, then."

* * *

Hannah Whitney asks her daughter, "So where are you right now? Are you still upset with her?"

Julie wipes the tears off her cheek and tries to not let her mother know she's crying, because it would break her heart. So she lies, "I'm at the grocery store. And yeah, I'm still hurt. Sore, kinda." She glances at her surroundings, hoping Lissa can't see her from the apartment. I want you to feel me, but I don't want you to find me.

"Well, sweetie, you know, there's not a whole lot she could do. I honestly think she did all she could. You know you might have to just accept that this is the best thing. No, it's not ideal, but it might be the best thing for the situation."

"Mom, when you're in love with someone, the best thing is not being apart. And right now, we're about as apart as two people can get."

"No you're not. Because I know you, Julie Anne. And if you're not outside her apartment, then you're on your way to or from. I'm not an idiot."

She bites her lip to silence the fresh tears, "Whatever, mom."

"And you need not bite a hole in your lip to keep from crying. Just go on and let it out.

I know you love this woman. And if you didn't cry or get upset or lose it completely, I'd worry. So go on. Let it go, babygirl."

Oh Mama!The tightness in her throat becomes too much and she lets it go. The tears slide hurriedly down her cheeks and she presses her forehead against the steering wheel,

"God, ithurts, Mama."

Hannah's heart aches for her daughter, "I know it does, baby. I know. But you have to remember that she still loves you very much. Even if she can't show it. Even if she can't touch you or hold you. And you have to let her know any way that you can that you love her too. No matter what. You have to understand that when she says that she did all she could, she means it. I don't think Lissa would have backed down unless she saw that there was absolutely no way in hell that any other options would work."

Julie wipes her face with her sleeve, "She said she tried."

"And you know that she did, sweetie. You know she wouldn't give up without a fight.

Not only that, but she's never given you a reason to distrust her before, why would she start now?"

Julie nods, "Yeah, I know. I was just so hurt and shocked and just…stunned."She's never going to love me again.Her eyes fill with fresh tears, "Oh God, Mama. I messed up. She won't ever speak to me again. I just know it."

Hannah takes a deep breath, "Then get out of your truck, go to her door, and knock on it. And when she answers, tell her that you're sorry. That nothing has changed. And that you respect the university's wishes. But that when all of this crap is over, you'll be there waiting for her."

"Do you think it will work? If I say that, will she take me back at the end of this?"

"If she doesn't, babygirl, she's a damn fool."

* * *

The knock on the door startles Lissa, "I've got someone at the door, I'll call you back, Farrah."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye." She claps her phone closed as she opens the door. Her heart completely stops and then melts. Julie, face red from crying, stands on her front step.Sweet baby Jesus, thank you! Thank you!She gulps, "Hi."

Julie takes a ragged, dry breath, "Hey. I know you can't be seen with me and all. But I wanted you to know that I'm sorry for reacting the way I did. And I'm an idiot. And I still…I mean, you know," she pauses, "nothing has changed. But I'll follow the rules that the university wants me to. And when it's all over, I hope we can go back to what we were."I want you. I need you. I want you. I need you. Please see that on my face.

The woman has to gulp hard before answering, wishing with everything in her that she could just hold the young lady on her steps, but she breathes deeply and finds the words somehow. "Thank you." She looks around to see if anyone's watching, "Do you want to come in?"

Yes! Wait. .Julie looks around, "Isn't that against the rules?"

Lissa thinks fast, "I have to give you that thing, remember?"

Julie's face scrunches, "What?"

"Your leave form, you know, to go home for Christmas?"Please catch on. Please.

"But you-"Wait a minute.Julie smiles, "Yeah. That's right. Do you have it? I need to turn it in."

Lissa smiles, "Sure. Come on in and I'll get it for you." She moves out of the doorway so that Julie can enter her apartment.

Once inside behind the closed door, they're not really sure what to do with each other.

Julie laughs, "Okay, this is weird."

Lissa sighs, "Kiss me. Please. I'm dying here."

They come together and pepper kisses all over each other's face and finally their lips meet. Julie reaches down and peels off her jacket, never breaking the kiss. As the jacket falls to the floor, Lissa's arms wrap around the girl's waist. Their breathing is rough, getting heavier by the moment. Lissa breaks the kiss to get air, but Julie keeps going, covering the woman's jaw and neck with hot kisses. She growls, "I've thought about this all day," between kisses. "I've wanted to hold you and touch you and love you all damn day. Every moment." She presses Lissa against the wall, "I need you. Right now."

Wait. .wait. .Lissa opens her mouth to protest, but Julie's tongue fills it. She can feel the girl's hands undoing the button of her jeans and she is too caught up in the moment to protest. When Julie pushes down those pants and her fingers find Lissa's clit beneath her underwear, Lissa doesn't think about anything other than enjoying it. She spread her legs to allow Julie more access, even puts her foot on the table beside them to spread herself open.

Julie's fingers dip deeper and deeper into Lissa's willing body. She grunts with the force she's exerting to get her fingers in just the right spot. Lissa begins to thrust against her hand and Julie slides her tongue in and out of Lissa's mouth with the same speed her fingers are moving.

Lissa groans, "Julie, oh God. Julie." She arches her back as the orgasm rips through her hard and fast.

Julie slows her fingers and pulls them away while softly planting kisses on Lissa's face,

"Mmmm I love you, Lissa."

Lissa manages to open her previously closed eyes, "And I love you, Julie." She begins to kiss the girl gently, softer this time. She spins them around and presses Julie against the wall, "I want a turn now."

Julie gives her a lop-sided grin, "Do ya?"

Lissa nods slowly, staring up into Julie's eyes, "Yeah." Her fingers make quick work of undoing the button of Julie's jeans. As she pushes the jeans down Julie's slim hips, she kneels on the floor. She reaches up from her kneeling position and ignores Julie's confused expression to pull down the girl's underwear.

What the. oh shit.Realization hits Julie's mind with the same shock that comes from Lissa's thumb hitting her clit. She gasps and grabs Lissa's head, "God. Oh God."

Lissa doesn't waste any time. She drapes Julie's left leg over her shoulder and slides her tongue between the young woman's legs. She flicks at Julie's clit with a lover's expertise. She can feel Julie arching into her and knows that if she keeps going the girl will climax in a matter of minutes.

Julie feels the orgasm close. She tilts her hips forward, "Right there. It's right there.

Yes." She presses her head against the wal behind her when she reaches the crest of the orgasm.

Lissa continues licking until Julie's not moving anymore. Then she stands and gathers the girl in her arms. They stumble over the clothes on the floor and find a comfortable place on the couch where they cuddle each other. Their arms are wrapped around each other, and their legs are a tangled mess. Lissa looks into Julie's eyes, "You're so beautiful."

Julie smiles, "Thank you. But you're way more beautiful than I am." She brushes some hair from the woman's face.

Lissa puts her head back on Julie's chest, "You're crazy."

"No I'm not."

Lissa concludes with a sleepy smile, "Then you're a damn fool."

Chapter 32

Friday, December 9

Julie's heart stops and her blood runs cold, "Holy fuck."Please, God, don't let me faint.

And don't let me cry right here. Oh please. Please.

Jana sighs and surveys the buffet, "Yeah, there's no white meat left. Damn. I told you we should have gotten in line sooner."

Fuck food!Julie nudges the girl and chokes out, "Lissa."

Jana turns towards the door and sees Lissa walking in with Ashley. She looks back at Julie and winces, "Oh, shit."

Julie feels as if she's been punched in the stomach.My God that hurts! Ohhh, my God!She's managed to do okay with this 'break' thing. But seeing the two women together, laughing and walking through the crowd like a couple, makes her physically ill. She holds her stomach, "I'm going to throw up."

"Shit! Go to the bathroom!" Jana follows the girl into the restroom and gathers paper towels for her as she vomits. When it's all over, she hands the dampened towels to Julie,

"I'm so sorry, Whit. I don't know what to say."

Julie's tears start now, "Oh Jana, did you see her?" She looks at her own reflection in the mirror above the sink and allows the tears to flow freely, "She looks so beautiful. Her hair's a darker color now because there's no sun to bleach it out, ya know?"I want to hold her. She should be with me!She wipes tears, "And that red velvet dress fits her like a damn glove. It's so perfect. It sets off her skin and she's like…" she gulps hard, "glowing." She hangs her head and chuckles softly, "We'd match perfectly." Julie's dress has little hints of red roses under a transparent layer of black taffeta.We already do match perfectly.

Clothed, naked, it doesn't matter. She's mine. She's meant for me! ME!

Jana smiles, "You're right. But you always were a good match. No matter what you were wearin'. And you know she'd rather be with you. You know that, right?"

Would she? I know that woman's beautiful. Of course she'd be fucking beautiful!Julie clenches her eyes closed and nods, "My mind says that, I just wish my heart would believe it."

Jana's heart breaks for her friend and she pulls the girl to her in a hug, "Hey, hey, it's alright."

"I love her so fucking much, Jana. So much. God damn this hurts so bad!" She chokes on a sob, "I didn't think it would hurt so much, but I want to be her date tonight. I want to laugh at her corny jokes and walk around with her knowing that everyone in the room is envious. I want to hold her hand and kiss her lips and have her say, 'You look so pretty.'" She chokes on her tears and pulls back from Jana, "I want her to hold me tonight and tell me she loves me and touch me like only she can." She wraps her arms around herself and sways from side to side, shaking her head, "It's like someone's ripped something out of me and I'm blindly looking for it, but I can't get my hand around it. I wish to God I could just turn my feelings off and get through this without giving a damn!" Her face melts again as new tears rush forward, "I'd done that for so long, though, and Lissa made me feel again. Real y, truly feel things for her, you know? And I can't disconnect from her like that. I don't have it in me and I don't want to. But, God damn, this hurts!" She beats on the counter behind her and screams at the ceiling, "This fuckinghurts, God!"

Jana wipes the back of her hand over her cheek, "Jesus, Whit, you're making me cry!"

She laughs nervously and so does Julie, "Look, you know she loves you. Whit, you have something with her that most people don't have. It's something untouchable. They can take you away from each other, but theycan'ttake away what you have for each other. That's impossible."

“But it just seems like I'm losing her without eventrying. I feel like I'm drowning here.

Just sort of floundering around, praying that my head doesn't dip under the water because I'm getting tired of holding my breath for her."I'm waiting. I'm waiting. But I am dying, Lissa. I am dying!She wipes her face with a cold clump of paper towels, "Ah, hell, I messed up Jenny's makeup job. She's gonna be pissed."

Jana bites her lip, her mind racing, "I'll go get my compact. I'll be right back."

Quietly, Julie nods, "Okay."

Jana leaves the bathroom, grabs her purse off their table, and then turns to search for Lissa. She finds the woman waiting in line at the buffet, "Coach?" Lissa turns to her and she blurts, "I need to talk to you." She shoots a look at Ashley, "Alone. Right now."

Please don't let this be bad news.Lissa stutters, "Wha- Uh, okay." She hands her plate to Ashley and smiles, "Can you fix me a plate, please?"

Ashley takes the plate, unsure, "Of course, what do you eat?"

Don't you pay attention at al ?Lissa's smile falters and she waves her hand, "Oh, just a little bit of everything. I don't care." Jana pulls her away and she calls over her shoulder,

"Chocolate is always a safe bet."

Jana pulls her towards the bathroom, "Julie would know what you eat, wouldn't she?"

Caught off guard, Lissa thinks a moment and then laughs softly, "Yes, I suppose she would." Her throat tightens and she wonders where Julie is. She thought she'd seen her when they first walked in, but she lost track of her.Where is she?

When they get to the bathroom door, Jana turns Lissa to face her, holding her by the shoulders, "Alright, I'll stand guard as long as I can. Get in there and tell that girl you love her, damn it." She opens the door with one hand and pushes Lissa through it with the other.

When the door closes behind the woman, she sighs and shakes her head, "Damn women."

Chapter 33

Friday, December 9

Julie, thinking her visitor is Jana, speaks without looking, "You don't have eye shadow, do you? I rubbed all of mine off."

Julie…my Julie.Lissa's heart has stopped and she is dangerously close to tears, but she manages to speak, "You always look better without any kind of makeup."

What the. .Julie almost gives herself whiplash as she turns around to face Lissa,

"What are you doing in here? Where's Jana?"Breathe! I can't breathe!

The woman takes a few tentative steps forward.Keep it light."Hi, to you, too," she points to the door, "Jana's guarding the door." Lissa fidgets with her bracelet and clears her throat, "How are you?"

Chills break out over Julie's body, "Oh God, I told myself that if I ever had you alone like this I wouldn't make small talk with you."

With a gulp, Lissa asks, "What did you want to do instead?"

Anything but talk.Julie looks right into Lissa's eyes, "Make love to you for as long as possible. Kiss you until we can't breathe. Hold you against me so long that I don't forget what it feels like before we can do it again." Her vision blurs with the fresh tears in her eyes, "Lissa, I don't want to be like this. I want to be like us. This isn't us."I just want to be us. Please, please just end this!

Lissa bites her bottom lip, her eyes failing now at holding the tears in, "I know, baby. I know. It's all a mess."

"Fuck, I just want to hold you. To just smell you. To be beside you and feel you there.

Not all the way across a room of people where we can't see each other." She pauses, "And when you came in with her," she groans and looks at the ceiling a moment, "oh God, it was like a kick in the gut! I had this overwhelming urge to run through, scoop you over my shoulder, and not stop running until we were in a place where no one cares that we're in love."If you're still in love with me. Please still be in love with me.

Julie, oh baby, I love you!Lissa takes a few more steps forward, "I'm sorry, Julie. I had to bring her. I have to give the illusion-"

Fuck!"I know," Julie cuts her off, "I know what you have to do! But it doesn't make it a damn bit easier to know that she came with you and she's leaving with you! And that it should beme!" They're quiet a moment and Julie asks quietly, not making eye contact, and scared of the answer, "Do you ever think of me?"Please say yes. Please say yes.

Lissa sighs, "Julie! Of course! All the time! Only every minute of every day." All the time. Every second. Every fucking, aching, alone moment and all the other ones, too. Tears slide down her cheeks, "I think about your eyes and your hair. And how you feel against me when we're cuddling on the couch. Sometimes if I close my eyes and think about it hard enough, I can feel your finger tracing my ears like you do all the time. I hear your voice and smell you on my pillows. I can'tnotthink of you. I can't escape you and I don't want to. Please believe that." Shaking with emotion and making a sound that doesn't seem human, she points in the general direction of the banquet hall, "They're having Christmas dinner out there and I had to bring an imposter to it! And I can't have the one thing I really want. . you! And on top of that, that bitch has no idea that I don't eat dressing!"

Sorrow gives way to anger and Julie almost sneers, "But it feels like you're not eventrying! You don't look at me on the bench, you don't talk to me in practice, and you don't even acknowledge that I'm breathing!" She doesn't mean to sound angry, but her emotions are taking over and she can't help it.

“Julie, I don't trust myself to look at you! If I looked at you every time I wanted to, I've never blink or turn my eyes away from you!" Lissa's voice sounds pleading, "And I don't know what you want me to do! I don't know how to fix this! I'm trying to protect you from all the ridicule and bullshit that everyone else is throwing at me! I take all this shit because I don't wantyouto have to! I love you enough to deal with it and swal ow it and live as best I can, knowing that you can go out there and play the game you love without anyone saying a damn thing to or about you!"I am doing this for you! YOU!

She can't look at Lissa, it hurts too much. So Julie stares at the floor, her voice sounding distant, "I used to feel it, you know, that connection between us. I could feel you watching me or read your thoughts sometimes." She closes her eyes and the tear drops slide faster, "Telling me to calm down, or plant my feet, or box out. I could hear you, almost. We were so close, so connected; I could read your mind and feel your heartbeat on my fingertips without touching you. I could feel it even when it was racing." She shakes her head, "But it's like you broke that." She looks up now, her eyes red and puffy, tears running down her cheeks and dripping onto her dress, "As if you just threw that away and now it means nothing to you, or as if you don't want it back." Her anger spent, she waits for Lissa's response.Please don't hate me. Please, I need you to love me through the anger. See me here, behind the pain, and know that I just want you back. I just want you to love me. Just love me.

Please. . pleasejust love me.

Lissa's voice is tight, "Julie, every minute of my day is spent wanting you back." She whispers hoarsely, "I'm still here, baby. Still thinking things for you, still wanting you to hear me. God, how I want you to feel me. I swear I'm still here." I'm right here! See me? I'm right here, Julie!

They stand in silence a moment and then Julie smiles softly, "You don't eat dressing because you're allergic to eggs."

Lissa can't stop the smile, "I knew you'd know that. She doesn't have a clue and doesn't care." She chuckles softly now that the tension's easing, "We didn't have a clue what to wear. Or what time to meet up. Hell, I had to look her phone number up in the damn phone book!"

The phone book you keep in the table in the hal . The table your grandmother gave you when you went to col ege because she couldn't afford to buy you anything new.Julie raises an eyebrow and grins, "I can dial yours without looking."

Lissa comes to stand directly in front of the girl, "I can dial yours on my cell phone without looking, with one hand behind my back, and my heart breaking knowing that I can't hit 'send' after dialing."With tears in my eyes, in the clothes I've spent 3 days in - without showering, and my pillow over my face to muffle the sobs.

Surprised Julie asks, "You do that too," then she swallows hard.

"Dial your number and wish I could call?" She pauses for Julie to nod, "At least a million times every day, baby."

Ok, that's it, I'm going to lose it right here.Julie's lip trembles, "So youdostill love me."

Lissa closes her eyes and breathes, "Yes, Julie. And I won't ever, ever stop." She opens her eyes just before Julie kisses her. Instantly, she feels more at home and more alive than she has in over a month. When they part, Lissa whispers, "You look so beautiful. You hair is perfect and my God, you're wearing a dress!" She looks the girl over appreciatively,

"You're just gorgeous. Absolutely stunning."

Julie counters, "When you walked in tonight, I knew you were here without looking. The whole damn room lit up. You look amazing, Lissa. Really. I gotta say, that dress just makes me wanna," she stops with a wicked grin, "well, let's just say it would make all of those people out there blush." I want. .I want. I want. . al of you. But this, this is enough for now.

Oh please! Please do what you're thinking! Please!Lissa shivers and decides she shouldn't think about that, "These shoes are killing me," she admits with a laugh.

"That's why I wear flats," Julie winks.

Silent, they look into each other's eyes a moment, memorizing the moment and drinking everything in: the feel of the other, the sound of their mingled breathing, the ache they see in each other's eyes, nothing goes without notice. Kisses are exchanged, along with sighs, longing moans, and whispered, "I love you"s.

A soft knock startles them out of their trance. Jana pokes her head through the door and whispers hurriedly, "Someone's coming!" Then she disappears.

They part quickly and Lissa goes into a stall. A woman comes in to wash her hands and Julie pretends to be reapplying makeup. They smile cordially at each other and the woman leaves. Lissa comes out of the stall and gives Julie another deep, emotional kiss, "I don't know when I'll get another chance, so let me tell you again that I love you and I adore you. I miss you and I need you. And there won't be amomentthat goes by without you in my thoughts and dreams, okay?"Not a day, hour, minute, or breath that you aren't in!

Julie smiles and nods, "I love you, too. Please don't ignore me at games, okay? I know we can't look at each other much, but. .could you just look at me sometimes?"

"I'll try. I'm always so close to tears."

Julie's heart melts, "If it's too hard, I understand. But I'd really, really like it."

"I'll do my best." She presses another kiss on the woman's lips, "I love you."

"I love you." Reluctantly she lets Lissa out of her arms and watches as she leaves the bathroom.

Jana appears seconds later with a nervous smile, "All better?"

Julie sighs, "Much. You're a stinker, but thank you."

Jana laughs as Julie hugs her tight, "I'm a stinker with eye shadow, though."

Chapter 34

Sunday, January 1

Ashley walks up with a drink, "Here ya go." Lissa takes the drink from her with a smile and she smiles back, "I don't think the team likes me much."

Lissa sighs, "Oh, please don't take it personally. They're just upset that Julie and I can't be," she pauses, "well, you know." She looks down in to her drink. Can'tbe. .seen together. Or together at al .

Ashley reaches out and puts a hand on Lissa's, "It's alright. I understand. It's a shitty situation. You know, we haven't really even talked about it. But if you ever want to, I'm here."

Lissa smiles genuinely, "Thanks. I appreciate that."

***

Across the room, Beth mutters to Laura, "She better get her fucking hand off her. I'll seriously kick her ass."

Laura laughs, "You will not! But she better move her hand before Julie gets here."

"Yeah, really." Suddenly she whispers, "Oh my God," she reaches out and grabs Laura's shoulder, "what if Lissa kisses Ashley at midnight?"

Laura shakes her head, "Coach wouldn't kiss anyone but Julie, get real! If she can't kiss Julie at midnight on New Year's she won't kiss anyone."

Unconvinced, Beth mutters, "I hope you're right. If she does kiss Ashley, Julie will, for sure, keel over."

* * *

The doorbell rings and Jackie answers it, "Whit!" The girls hug and Julie hands her a brown bag, "What's this?" She pulls out the contents, "Pepsi," she smiles, "wonder where you got that idea from?"

She laughs, "What, you don't think I came up with it all on my own?" Julie shrugs off her jacket and looks around, "Who all is here?"

Jackie mumbles, "Don't you mean to ask where Lissa is?"

Laughing, Julie doesn't even pretend that's closer to the truth, "Well, shit, you got me. Where is she?"

Reluctant to break her best friend's heart, Jackie takes a deep breath, "You know she had that dinner earlier."

"Yeah?" And?

"And she took La Bitch." She uses the team's nickname for Ashley.

"Right?"

"Well, she brought her here."

Fuck! God damn! I can't get a fucking break!Julie's shoulders slump, "You're kidding."

"No, babe, I'm not." She loops her arm through Julie's and pulls her towards the kitchen, "Let's get you some, um, Pepsi."

* * *

Lissa walks down the hall just in time to see Julie and Jackie going into the kitchen.

She ducks behind a door and sighs.Damn! Damn! Damn!

"You hidin' too?"

Lissa jumps, "Shit! Bridget! You scared the hell out of me!" She puts a hand over her chest and laughs, "Yeah. I'm hidin'. Why are you hiding?"

Bridget sighs, "I'm alone."

"You can have my date."

The girl laughs, "Thanks, but she's a little old for me."

"Gee, thanks! I'm five years older than she is!" Lissa laughs.

"Oh great! Now I've insulted a coach!" She groans, "Could this night get any better?"

"Why don't you have a date?"I can name at least 3 girls on the team who'd love to have a night with you!

The girl sighs, "Well, I was gonna ask someone. But I'm so damn shy."

Lissa laughs and shakes her head, "Try again! I know you're not shy. Did she say no?"

Bridget looks down at the floor, "No, I really was too shy to ask."

This is news to Lissa, "You were too shy to ask? Wow, this girl must be somethin'

special."

She nods curtly, "Yeah."

Lissa laughs, "Well tell me who it is!"

"Oh no," she shakes her head fervently now, "I couldn't!"

"Oh come on! I'm the last person here who will tell secrets! Get real! You can tel me!"

Bridget mumbles something incoherent.

"What? Come on, speak up."

"Dana."

"But Dana's. ." her voice trails off. "Oh."

"Yeah, I know. She's straight. Whatever, right? I mean, it's just a little crush. It's not a big deal." She shrugs, "It's not like I had a chance anyway."

The woman replies softly, "Well you never know until you try."

"But she's straight. That's as helpful to me as if she were dead!"

Lissa thinks a moment, "Do you think she likes you?"

Bridget shrugs, "I don't know. I mean, we room together on trips because she asks to.

And she's helping me with my math because she's good at it and offered. And she calls me to go to movies, just the two of us. But she's never done anything like trying to kiss me or hold my hand or anything. So I don't know."

A scheme begins to formulate itself in Lissa's head, "There are two ways to figure this out. The first way is by asking her."

She shakes her head, "Hell no! I am not going to do that. What's the other option?"

"That's the best one," she smiles broadly, "flirt with someone else and see if she responds."

Bridget thinks about that a moment, "You know, that might work."

"But there's a condition. You have to flirt with someone who knows what you're up to, that way they don't think you really like them."

"Who?"

Lissa's smile gets bigger, "Me!" She grabs the girl's hand, "Come on!"

* * *

Julie walks into the living room where people are dancing and cautiously looks around.

She doesn't want to be surprised by Lissa or Ashley. Or worse, Lissa and Ashley. She finds an empty chair in the corner and occupies it. When Lissa drags Bridget through the door of the living room, her breath catches.Breathe, Whit! She's just with Nape. Damn she's so beautiful. I love you, Lissa Norman.

Lissa pulls her blue sweater over her head, revealing the tank top underneath. She laughs as Bridget does the same thing, tossing her sweater on top of Lissa's with a flick of her wrist and a smile. Lissa doesn't notice their audience in the corner. She wraps her arms around Bridget's waist, because she can't reach the girl's neck, and smiles up at her. Just within her line of sight behind Bridget, she can see Dana watching them. She whispers to Bridget, "She's looking. Let's keep dancing. When the song ends, dip me."

Bridget laughs, "Okay."

On cue, Bridget executes a perfect dip and Lissa laughs loud enough to get Dana's attention if she hasn't already been watching. But she has been watching and is green with envy. She clenches her jaw shut and looks away from the two women on the floor. When Bridget stands her back up, Lissa mutters, "Alright, that's al I need to see. Go ask that girl to dance."

"What? Why?" Bridget sounds nervous because she is.

"She wants to dance with you. Just go ask." She sighs, "Listen, Bridge, life's too short to worry about this sort of thing, babe. What's the worse she can say? No? So what? You'll survive. I promise."

"No," she shakes her head, "I can't."

"Fine." Lissa pretends to look around the room and finally her eyes land on Dana, "Dana, come here please and take my place. This kid's gonna kill me."

Dana flushes bright red, "Me?"

"Yeah, you! You're the only Dana in here! Now come on! She doesn't bite unless you want her to."

Dana comes to stand beside Bridget and shrugs, "Alright."

Lissa smiles as the two girls wrap their arms around each other tentatively, "Well, don't y'all just look like the cutest couple?" She turns and walks away rather proud of herself. In her blind delight she doesn't realize that she's headed right for the chair in the corner until she's looking into Julie's eyes.Ah, shit. I know those eyes.Her breath catches,

"Hi."

Licking her lips deliberately, Julie nods, "Hi."

Lissa tries to think of something to say, but Julie's eyes render her speechless. I have to breathe or I'm going to do something completely inappropriate and lewd!She manages to look away from them briefly, and thinks of a question, "How are you?"

Julie shrugs, "I'm alright." She takes a deep breath, "I was looking forward to this al week. And then you brought her."

She's hurt. Lissa melts on the inside, "I know, I'm sorry. It's just that guy from the newspaper was following us outside to go to his truck and I thought it would look weird if we left in different cars. So I told her to ride with me and then I just said 'fuck it' and brought her. I'm sorry." She squats down in front of Julie, "But she said that she's not even with me tonight. She's got this other girlfriend sort of thing going on. So really, I'm al yours."

Jackie comes up behind Lissa with a wild look on her face, "Coach, Linda just came with a date."

Lissa stands and doesn't understand why this affects her at all, "And?"

"It's Blake from the newspaper."

Julie stands abruptly and pushes past Lissa, "Blake Hunt? The fucker who took that picture?"

"Well, calm down, Whit. Because I never told anyone his name. So she doesn't know.

He's got his camera with him, too. The asshole knows that Linda doesn't know he's waiting on a photo op, so he's hoping we don't know, either."

Lissa shakes her head, "I'm not doing this. I'm leaving."

Turning to Lissa, "Likehel you are." She addresses Jackie, "Where are they?"

Jackie points, "In the kitchen, but remember, Linda doesn't know anything. So don't jump her, okay?"

"Stay here, I don't want you in this if I have to draw blood," Julie makes her way to the kitchen. She can hear a male voice before she ever reaches the door and her blood boils.

When she steps through the door, his is the first face she sees.

He sucks in a sharp breath, "Julie!" He exhales, "Hi."

Through gritting teeth she grumbles, "What are you doing here?"

He points with his thumb over his shoulder, "I'm with Linda."

She looks at his camera, "What's that for?"

He smiles nervously and tries to act nonchalant, "In case you have a Kodak moment."

"Before or after I beat your ass into the ground for the last Kodak moment of mine that you caught?"

He gulps but challenges her, "I thought that wasn't you."

"Don't pretend to have balls, Hunt. And don't toy with me. I am not in the mood. You fucked up my life you lowlife mother fucker. And I am not in the mood for you to do that again. So leave."

A smiling Linda approaches the two, "Julie, you know Blake, right?"

Julie never takes her eyes off the guy, "Unfortunately."

Linda takes a deep breath and pulls Blake's arm, "Okay then. Well, we're going to the living room. The countdown is in 3 minutes." They move past Julie and Blake smiles at her like an ass.

"I'll deal with you later," she barks at him.Right now I have to find Lissa.She's waited two weeks to have a kiss at midnight. Even if they can't be together for now, she needs that kiss to cement their relationship for a little while longer. She's starving for some attention from Lissa and this might be the only chance she has for a while to get it. She searches the dining room, back porch, living room, and all over for Lissa, but there is no sign of her or Ashley. She stops in the kitchen and asks anyone who can hear, "Did Lissa leave?"

Jana calls out so that the whole house can hear, "Twenty seconds!"

In a panic, Julie searches the dining room as the others begin counting down from 15.

At 7 she sees Lissa standing between Blake and Ashley in the living room. When they call out

"Happy New Year's", Lissa turns and kisses Ashley. Julie's world goes from blurry to black.

* * *

"Julie?" Jackie cal s softly, "Julie? Come on, Whit."

Julie's eyes drag open slowly, "What happened?" She realizes that she's lying on Jackie's bed and she sits up slowly.

"You fainted." Jackie goes to the door and opens it, "She's awake. She's all right. I'm gonna give her a few minutes and then we'll be back down."

Julie groans and curls into the fetal position on the bed, "She kissedher."

Jackie sighs and shuts the door, "Julie, you don't know the whole story."

"What is there to know?" She uncurls her body, "I was supposed to kiss her.Me!

Nother!" She stands in a huff, "It's over. I can't keep letting her do this to me! It's driving me crazy!" She storms past Jackie, out of the room, and down the stairs. As she passes Ashley and Lissa on her way out the door, she stops. She looks Ashley in the eyes, "You won.

She's all yours." She looks at Lissa and shakes her head, unable to speak. She leaves and slams the door after her.

Stunned, Lissa moves to follow Julie. She hears someone after her and turns to see Blake with his camera in hand. She growls, "What are you doing?"

He stops, "Um, taking pictures."

"Of what?" She snaps.

"You."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am," he counters.

Something inside her breaks under the intense pressure of powerful, built up anger.

She grabs his camera and throws it to the floor, shattering it into a thousand pieces. Her voice is flat, "No. You'renot." She turns to go and then turns right back around, "And don't think about following me you selfish prick. Because I will catch up to her and when I do, if you're there, I will not be responsible when she grabs your bal s and pops them like pimples."

With that, she turns to leave, calling behind her, "Girls, take care of him."

Jackie smiles wickedly at him as she closes the door behind Lissa, "We have to talk."

* * *

Julie didn't make it past the sidewalk outside. She falls down on her knees in the grass. Tears fall off her chin and nose as she cries without any regard to who might see her or what she looks like.Oh, God, just kill me now. It was mine. It was mine. MINE!

Lissa kneels beside her and tentatively reaches out to touch her shoulder,

"Baby."Please, please talk to me.

Julie roars, causing Lissa to recoil, "Don'tfuckingtouch me!"

Shocked at the girl's anger, tears spring to her eyes, "Julie, please listen to me."

"That was my kiss!Mine!I can't hold you or touch you or spend time with you! The fucking least you could give me was that New Year's kiss! It was mine!"

"I know. I know, Julie, and I'm sorry. But Blake-"

Julie whips her head around, fire in her eyes, pain on her face, and tears not letting up at all as she screams, "It'salwaysgoing to be something or someone, Lissa! Always! You're so fucking scared the world's going to know about you! Guess what! They will one day! Whether it's today or when you turn forty! They'regoingto find out!"

"It's not me I'm worried about! It'syou! It's always been about you. What was best for your future, your career, and your heart. This is not about me!" Lissa wipes tears off her own cheek, "It's about you!"

Julie stands, fiercely wiping her face, "Well you sure fooled me! Because no one fucking asked me what I wanted! No one sought my advice or even listened to how I thought it should be handled!Youdidn't even ask me!"

Lissa searches for words, "I'm sorry, baby! I am!"

Julie's voice turns sarcastic and biting, "Ofcourseyou are!Nowyou are! But what about when I needed you the most? What about in there," she points at the house, sobs shaking her entire body, "when I wanted and needed you the most? It was one fucking little kiss to you.

But to me, it would have kept me going until February or after!"

“Julie-" Lissa moves to stand up.

She shakes her head as Lissa stands, "Fuck it. Fuck it! " She sighs, defeated, "I quit! I give up. They won! You won! I'm done! Don't call me. Don't write me. Don't talk to me," she adds with venom, "Coach Norman." Julie gets into her car and as Lissa watches in horror, drives away.

Chapter 35

Monday, February 13

Lissa sighs and grabs a towel, "Fuckin' hell, Whit. You don't have to dump water all over me to make a damn point." She mumbles under her breath, "I know I'm not your favorite person but shit."

Armed with a towel, Jayd tries to help, "Coach, you want me to just take care of this end and you get that end?"

"No," Lissa sighs and shoots a look at the back of Julie's head, "I'm not going to give in that easily." She approaches the huddle just before the timeout is over and calls out, "Julie!"

When the girl looks at her, she motions, "Come here."

Julie's tone is not friendly, "What?"

The anger comes from nowhere and her eyes show it even though her voice is low, "You know what? I might have pissed you off, but I'm still your coach. And you will not disrespect me on this court. Watch your water bottle, your towels, and your attitude, Whitney, or you'll ride vinyl. Do you understand me?"

A little ashamed, Julie can't make eye contact when she mumbles, "Yes, ma'am."

"What? I can't hear you."

She makes eye contact this time and the venom is back. "Yes, ma'am." Unprepared for Lissa's disdain, Julie opens her mouth to demand the same respect but is cut off by a flash of fire in the woman's eyes.

"You're making this harder than what it has to be and you're acting like a fucking child." She turns to walk away and then she hears Julie's remarks behind her.

"Well we both know how much you like fucking children, don't we?"

Lissa whirls around and barks to the girl's back, "Whitney!" She points at the chair Julie just vacated, "Bench! Now!" She approaches Taylor and addresses him angrily, "Julie Whitney will be finishing this game on the bench."

With pure hate in her voice, Julie storms into their conversation, "Coach Taylor you can't let her do that! She's being stupid!"

Taylor puts his hand up, "Julie, I don't know what's going on, but you will never call one of my assistant coaches 'stupid' ever again. Am I clear?" The girl nods and he addresses Lissa, "We're less than five minutes from the half. I'll sit her until we can have this discussion in the locker room." He sighs, "Julie, take a seat. Lissa, please try to steer clear of her." When the two women make their exit he mutters, "Damn women."

* * *

Julie throws her warm up shirt on the floor of Taylor's office, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"Please God, don't let me hit this bitch! Jesus be Kevin Costner in Bodyguard!

"What's wrong withme?" Lissa shrieks, "What's wrong withyou? You're acting like you're three years old and I just took your baby doll away from you!"I will beat the ever-loving hel out of you! No one talks to me like that!

"Ladies!" Taylor yells to get control, "Listen to me!" Two angry pairs of eyes turn to him and he almost runs but manages to stand his ground, "Ok, I'm going to leave you two in here to settle this. You have five minutes. If either of you leaves this office with so much as a sprainedeyebrow, I'll reprimand you both, understood?" When they nod at him, he stresses,

"Five minutes. Fix it.Now."

When the door closes, neither of them speaks for a moment. Julie, stubborn to the end, growls, "You hadnoright to yell at me like that."

You little bitch!"What? You have no right yelling at me! I am still a coach. I don't care if you and I are in love or not."

"We'renotin love!" Julie shakes her head fervently, "This entire thing has opened my eyes to how much of a manipulative bitch you are!"I do not love you anymore! And even if I did, I'd never fucking tel you!

The laugh is bitter and echoes with sarcasm, "Oh yeah?Fine.I'll stay away from you.

You stay away from me. If that is how you want to play this childish little game, I'll play along." She turns on her heel and flings the office door open, "But let's get one thing perfectly fucking clear, Julie Whitney. You are hardheaded, defiant, and conceited. Your foolish pride won't let you open your ears to hear the truth. Which means that, while your eyes might be open, you're too damn blind to see that the best thing to ever happen to you is about to walk out this door." With that, she leaves the office, slamming the door behind her.Fuck you and the self-righteous pedestal you rode in on!

Shaking with anger and barely controlled rage, Julie sits in Coach Taylor's chair. She tries to calm her heartbeat by closing her eyes and taking slow breaths.Finish this game and go to your room. Just finish it and go sleep.She stands and leaves the office, "Let's get this shit over with."

* * *

Julie's anger spills over to the court. Within eight minutes of the third quarter she picks up three fouls. She plops down into her assigned chair, "Fuck!" She reaches up, snapping her fingers, for a water bottle. The water hits her before the bottle does and she screams,

"What the hell?" She whirls around but Lissa's already at the end of the bench.What a bitch!She huffs and drinks what's left, making a mental note to get the woman back for that.

The Spartans go on a 12-3 run and Taylor puts Julie back in. On the very first possession, Julie starts a tumbling match with the opposing point guard, Shel ey.

Running to separate the two girls, Lissa screams, "Julie! Julie stop!" When Lissa gets a hand on Julie's arm, Shelley takes a swing for Julie's face. She misses, though, and punches Lissa instead, busting the woman's lip, "Shit!"Ow! Oh God, I'm bleeding!

Horrified, Julie wraps her arms around Lissa, "Oh my God, are you ok?" Concern covers her face and her voice, once angry and rude, softens and she sounds very vulnerable, "Lissa, look at me."Please don't be hurt! I'l kill her!

Lissa pushes Julie away, "I'm bleeding, stop. You'll get it on you!"Shit that hurts! Shit!

Shit!

"I don't care about that! Look at me!" When the woman looks at her, she gasps, "Oh God, that tooth might not make it." She grabs Jackie's arm, "Take her." Julie turns and surveys the scene behind her. She finds the girl who punched Lissa and sees nothing but red as she returns to the floor for revenge. With one punch to the jaw she knocks the girl to the floor and spits at her, "No one. . and I meanno onehits Lissa, bitch!"

The referee ejects both players, but Julie doesn't regret the hit until she notices that her fist is swelling. But even that doesn't hurt when she enters the locker room and sees Lissa's face. Her lip is swollen obscenely and her eyes are red from crying. There is blood all over her chin and on her clothes. Shaking, Julie tentatively walks over to her,

"Lissa?"

An ambulance was called for Lissa and she's sitting atop the gurney, preparing for her trip to the emergency room. When she hears Julie's voice, she doesn't even look in the direction of the sound. She puts her hand up and closes her eyes, halting all further communication, "Do not talk to me. Now is not the time."

As they wheel Lissa out of the locker room, Julie Whitney watches. Once the double doors close behind them, she falls onto the chair behind her, "Oh, God, what have I done?"

Chapter 36

Monday, February 13

Her leg jumps up and down quickly as she flips through the songs on her iPod. Deciding on a song with a quick beat and strong bass, she lays her head back against the wall behind her and closes her eyes. The horn sounds on the end of the game and she whispers, "Thank you, God." To say she's nervous would be an insult to the nerves currently raw with emotion making her a jittery mess. She sighs and tries to convince herself she's not about to be benched for what happened to Lissa. She's ready to let the team take showers and then go to the hospital.

"Julie."

The girl picks her head up quickly, having been startled, "Hey! Good job!" The faces that greet her are her team mates' but they aren't as happy to see her as she is to see them.

Jenny is the first to speak and her voice sounds tense, "I know this is going to be a shock, Whit, and I know you're going to be pissed off, but something has to be done." She approaches the girl, her eyes sparkling with angry tears, "I've asked you politely to speak to Lissa about what happened. You've ignored everyone you respect and many of those you couldn't care less about. I think I can speak for all of us when I say that what pisses us off the most is that we're yourteammatesand you won't even listen to us. If you can't trust us to tell you what happened, then who can you trust?"

When Julie tries to speak, Jackie holds her hand up to stop her, "Julie, you will listen.

You willnotargue. You willnotfuss. You will not yell, stand, punch, spit, curse, flail, pitch a fit, break furniture, violate the noise ordinance, wake the dead, scare, annoy, harass, or in any other way interrupt us as we tell you this story unless we permit you to speak when you raise your hand politely. Am I clear?" Julie nods and Jackie continues, "That night, after you ran after Blake, Lissa grabbed Ashley and they were ready to bolt." She turns and points at Dana, "But she stopped them."

"I told Lissa to stay," Dana steps forward, "and when she said she didn't want any trouble, I told her that surely he wouldn't start anything with al of us there and aware of what was happening." She hands her head, "I had no idea." Her eyes are red and tears are threatening when she looks back up, "Whit, I swear to God, I wish now I'd let them go."

Wrapping her arms around Dana from behind, Bridget speaks up, "But Dana didn't know what was going to happen next. None of us had a clue that bastard was…wel ," she laughs,

"such a bastard!"

Linda sighs and takes a seat on the couch by Julie, "You know that I had no idea he took that picture." She looks at her hands in her lap, "I thought he liked me. I was damn stupid, Julie. I thought he wanted to go to the party to be with me." She looks up now, "If I'd known, I'd have kicked him in the groin and told him where to go."

After a moment of silence, Julie asks, "Well what happened?"

No one speaks up immediately, but when the silence is broken, the voice isn't very familiar, "He told us that if we didn't kiss, he'd tell the whole story to anyone who would listen." The entire team turns in the direction of the sound, "And he threatened to get Lissa fired and you kicked off the team for perversion." Ashley walks towards Julie, whose body is now tense with anxiety. She sighs, "Julie, I didn't want to kiss her!"

Jackie mumbles, "Cause you a damn fool" and everyone laughs, breaking the tension.

"Maybe so," Ashley smiles and turns her attention back to Julie, "but she didn't want to kiss me either. In fact, she said that the only way she got through it was to think about kissing you."

"Julie," Jackie squats down in front of the stunned girl, "he threatened to ruin your life.Thatis why Lissa kissed Ashley. He said he'd make sure you never played on another team again. And he would notify the NCAA of Lissa's conduct."

Ashley speaks, "And he could very well have ruined her career. So I told her to kiss me really fast and go find you while the clock was still at midnight. I thought that maybe you wouldn't mind being second as long as you got kissed. And that's what we did. A very quick peck and then she turned to find you. You were standing in the door and then you just…" her voice trails off as she shakes her head.

Jackie finishes, "You dropped like you fell outta the Enola Gay. Disgraceful, Whitney."

"But," Dana sighs with a smile, "Lissa ran over to you, knelt down beside you, and kissed you anyway, Julie." Julie's face blanches and Dana nods, "You got your kiss. And it was still midnight. You just weren't conscious."

"When she did that," Jenny smiles, "everyone in the room said 'aw'. Even Jackie."

"I did not!"

Bridget smirks at the girl, "Don't make me punch you. You did."

Jackie looks at Julie, horrified, "I'm scared of her! I did! I did say aw!"

She laughs only a moment before the realization sets in and she groans. "Oh fuck,"

Julie leans forward with her head in her hands, "y'all, what did I do?"

"You acted like an asshole." Jackie laughs and turns to the team, "Y'all go shower and make it quick! We're going to the hospital after this as a team so that Julie can go. Go! Go!"

"What in the hell am I going to say to her?" Julie's voice is tight with emotion, "I have no excuse for not listening other than being hurt. And I know that might have been a valid excuse a month ago, but today's game shows how damn immature I am."

"No it doesn't."

She turns to the girl, incredulous, "What?"

"Today's game shows you still love that woman very much. And that you have someserioustrust issues. And that you might be slightly crazy enough to get a gov'ment check. If you do, you could probably get food stamps, too."

Julie looks at the floor a moment as a smile begins on her face. When Jackie laughs out loud at her own joke, though, Julie's resolve gives way, "Tell you what, I'll apply if you go first!"

"I only speak the truth, man." Jackie smiles and stands, "I'm gonna get a shower. And then we're going to help you get your woman back. You might have to take a punch to the face to prove your love and devotion, though."

To Jackie's back, Julie cal s, "It'd be worth it, just try not to break the skin, ok?"

Over her shoulder, Jackie replies, "Tell Nape. We voted on who got to hit you. She won."

Julie's eyes widen.Shit!

Chapter 37

Tuesday, February 14

When it's her turn, Julie stands and rubs her hands on her jeans. Jackie, the last girl out of Lissa's room, sighs, "She looks bad. It looks worse than it is but it looks fucking awful."

Julie's face falls, "Is she okay with seeing me?"Please say yes.

"Yeah," Jackie nods. "Don't be a douche. Cause I'll come in there, get you, and kill you.

Understand?"

Death would be a relief if she doesn't accept this apology."Understood." She takes a deep breath and pushes the hospital room door open. The dim light takes a moment to adjust to and when she finally sees Lissa's face, she takes in a sharp breath, "Oh God." Her bottom lip trembles as she approaches the bed, "Liss?"

Her mouth is full of cotton but Lissa tries to smile anyway, "Hi."Ouch! Shit!Her hand flies to her face and Julie lunges for her.

"No! Don't smile! You don't have to smile." She looks closer at the bruising around Lissa's mouth, "God, baby, I'm so sorry." The tears finally flow as she tentatively reaches out and catches one of Lissa's with her finger. "I swear I never meant for you to hurt."Ever.

Not by my hand or any other.Julie stares a moment into Lissa's face, remembering all the times she kissed her eyes, traced her nose, and rubbed her cheek with her knuckles.

Lissa reaches up and gently removes the gauze from her mouth so she can speak, "I know. But, it happened. It hurt." She wipes her cheeks and tries to pretend that she's unaffected by Julie being there.

Okay, you need to move away now so you don"t smother her."Coach isn't going to suspend me." She walks to the window and looks out at the city below, "He knows I'm beating myself up more than anything anyone else could do to me."

"That's good." Lissa closes her eyes and tries to soak in the sound of Julie talking to her. She sighs, "He asked me what he should do. I told him nothing. He did the right thing."

Julie turns, "Thank you." She leans against the window, her arms crossed over her chest, "How much do you hate me?"

"Julie, I don't hate you." Lissa sighs.I could never hate you.

They stare at each other for a long moment, wishing they could say more, wanting the other to speak first. The moment is awkward and tense. Julie breaks the silence, "I heard you broke things off with Ashley. Are-" she swal ows a lump in her throat, "you seeing anyone?"

Lissa takes slow breaths to calm her fraying nerves. She chooses to answer with humor, "Yeah. Shelley asked me out as they were wheeling me to the ambulance. I thought I should say yes since that was the second time she'd hit on me today." She doesn't dare look at Julie's face until she hears the girl giggling. Then she smiles through the pain and watches the girl's body release some of the tension.I love you.She shakes her head and answers seriously this time, "No. I have no interest in seeing anyone else."

The girl's breath catches, "No oneelse?"

You are the only one I want. "No one other than you."

Julie sighs and looks up at the ceiling.Oh God, thank you. She still wants me. Now what? Now what do I do?She bites her lip, "You still want to see me?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?" She takes a deep breath, "I still love you." She swallows hard, "But, God, Julie, you hurt me. I know the kiss thing hurt you but. .the way youhatedme."

She doesn't stop the fresh tears, "And you not only told me to go away but you left me.

Body, mind, and soul, I knew when you left because I was so damn cold after. So. ." she gropes for a word, "alone and empty. I haven't felt so abandoned in all my life."

No! No! No!Rushing forward, Julie insists, "I didn't leave you with my mind or spirit! I didn't! I know I gave you nasty looks and didn't speak to you and probably didn't treat you well at all, but you were always on my mind. You never left my thoughts, I swear!" She sits on the edge of the bed, "I have to apologize to you. I behaved really badly New Year's night.

And I didn't listen to you." She sighs and moves closer to Lissa, "I haven't listened to anyone for a month now. It hurt so damn bad I couldn't stand the thought of hearing anyone out."

She blushes slightly, "They finally nailed me down and explained it to me."

"I wish you'd listened to me that night. I panicked. I didn't know what to do. I saw everything we'd tried to avoid coming true. All the planning and lying and pretending would have been for nothing." She takes a quivering breath, "And then, it happened. And my heart shut down. I felt so incredibly horrible. And then to see your face." She clenches her eyes shut, "To hear you tell me not to touch you. To hear the hate in your voice and see the tears on your face. I just, I died, Julie. Something inside me died that night and I haven't been able to resurrect it." She opens her eyes, "I'm so sorry I hurt you. And I swear I didn't mean it. And every day that goes by, every minute that passes without you in it or around, kills me even more. I positively ache for you sometimes." Drained, she finishes with a shake of her head, "I've said too much. I'm sorry. You should go."I can't do this, just leave. I can't be around you now.

"I'm not leaving."I'm over this shit. Game over.

Lissa sighs again, "Julie, please just go, okay? Because you're not supposed to be here really. What if someone sees you?"

"No. And I don't give a damn who saw me or who might see me."

Shocked, Lissa replies, "What?"

"This is bullshit. You and I both know you don't want me to go. I'm not leaving."

"Julie, this isn't the time to have this conversation."

Anger rises out of frustration and her voice rises with it, "When is, Lissa?

Whenexactly, is the appropriate time to bring up the subject of me not being with the only woman I will love until I die? Tomorrow? Is tomorrow good for you?" She paces at the end of the bed, "How about next Thursday? Are you free around two that day? The first of next month, is that open?" She implores, "Tell me when it"ll be a good time for me to tell you I'm going to love you until I take my last breath? When is it a good day for you to say it back?

When will it feel okay?When?" She shakes her head fervently, "Because this isnotworking for me. How's it working for you? You're in the fucking hospital, Lissa! I threw water at you!

I started a dumb fight over some really stupid trash-talking just to get your fucking attention and then you got punched in the fucking face! You kissed another woman! This plan. . this life. . this fucking lie isnotworking!"

Tempering her anger and voice so that her lip doesn't throb, Lissa replies, "Julie, I love you, too. But we can't fix this with me in the hospital. I'm not thinking clearly. I'm afraid I'll undo everything we've done. I want you to leave."

"Stoplying!Youdo notwant me to leave!" She holds her arms out, "If you wanted me to leave, you wouldn't have let me in here. But there's something stopping you. And that's the fact that you love me. And I love you. With you, I'm typically a push-over. You can get me to do and say anything. But this time," she shakes her head adamantly, "this time it's not going to work. I'm staying. And if you don't let me stay in here, I'll sit outside in the hall. And if you don't want me there, I'll go outside. And if you have me removed from the hospital grounds, I'll be across the street."

"Julie-" Tears spill down Lissa's face even after Julie cuts her off.

Her voice almost breaks, but she measures her words, " No,damn it! Loving you is the hardest, craziest, most painful thing I have ever done. And I would not," she swallows hard but her voice is still strong and loud, "trade this struggle for anything. I have been to the deepest parts of hell, Lissa. I have felt ugly and stupid and dirty and worthless. Then you came along and loved all those things away. I"ve seen some of the most beautiful parts of myself in your hands. The way you look at me makes me feel beautiful. Your arms make me feel worthy of saving. I would have never found those things on my own. I would have never realized that I have potential, or a future, or was capable of giving love and receiving love in return if it weren"t for you. You.. your love. . this thing that we have is the most tragically beautiful thing I've ever witnessed."

Julie wipes tears off her cheek quickly and continues, "And no one, not even you, will get me to give it up. Nothing. No company. No rumor. No truth. No group. No lie. No entity.

Because it'smine. I will not give it up! I will not give you up! I will not giveusup! This love is one of the only things that has ever belonged to me. The only thing I have been proud of more than my basketball ability. Baby, I know you're hurting. And although it kills me, I know you've been hurt. That hurt makes you feel you're unsure. No matter how ridiculous it is, I know you've felt alone and unloved and unimportant. I have felt all those things. I have been thrown away. I know what it feels like to be orphaned in every way you can abandon a person."

She cups Lissa's now tear-streaked face and directs it to her own, "Lissa Norman,” she swallows hard, "I am going to love you forever. And if you let me, I want to adopt your heart.

Take it in as my own and love it until neither of us breathe another breath. Until every drop of life is gone. Until God makes me give it over to Him. For this life…and the next…until there are no more lessons to learn. Until there are no more forevers. Until the end of the end, I will love you that far…plus one more day. And I know that's different for you. But I amnotleaving you. I am not like everyone else. I am not going to just go away."

Oh God. .this is it, isn't it? Am I ready?"Julie. "

She shakes her head, "Nope." She wraps her arms around the woman, being careful not to hurt her mouth, "I'm not going anywhere. Like that night after the game in the hall when you found me and let me fall apart before putting me back together, I'm not moving."

"Juli-"

"Nope."

She sighs, "But Ju-"

"No." She waits a moment and whispers, "I love you."

"Wa-"

"I love you."

Lissa's bottom lip trembles, "Oh God, I love you so much." She hugs the Julie tight against her and whispers in her ear, "I love you. I love you. I love you. No more lying or pretending. If you want to come out and tel the world, if I need to quit my job and find another one, I don't care what has to happen. I want us to be together."

“Look,” Julie motions to the clock and smiles softly, “it"s midnight. Today is Valentine"s Day.” She whispers, “Kiss me like it"s New Year"s.”

When their lips brush together, Lissa's breathing stops, but her hands move. One instantly buries itself in Julie's hair as the other wraps around her waist. The kiss is long and hungry though soft. It's been too long, they've thought about it too many times, and dreamed about it too often to let go before they're done.

Chapter 38

Tuesday, February 14

Clothing is shed, candles are lit, and contented sighs fill the room. Julie snuggles Lissa to her chest and whispers, "God, I've missed this."

Lissa stretches in the post-orgasm bliss, "Me too. I've missed everything about you."

She raises herself up on her elbow and looks into Julie's face, highlighted by the flicker of candlelight, "You know what al I missed?"

Julie puts am arm under her head and smiles at Lissa, "No, what?"

She takes her free hand and traces along Julie's collar bone, "This…the feel of your skin." She lets her finger drift down the slope of Julie's nose, "Your cute nose," she outlines the young woman's eyebrow, "and your furrowed brows." She smiles as Julie furrows them for her, "And these," she traces along Julie's lips, "I have missed more than I can say.

Kissing them, feeling them on my body, watching them while you talk. I've missed them so much." She looks right into Julie's heart-stopping blue eyes, "And those eyes," she sighs,

"they are burned into my memory." She puts her head back down on Julie's chest, "I've missed hearing your heartbeat as I fall asleep and having you here when I wake up." She sighs, "I have missed telling you that I love you before you go to sleep and hearing you say it back. I've missed every little thing."

Julie smiles happily, "It feels good to be missed. But then, it feels pretty good to be here, too, where I'm not missed." She chuckles low, "Want to know what I missed about you?"

“Sure," Lissa's face flushes slightly red and she's glad Julie can't see it.

The young woman very lightly drags her fingertips up Lissa's spine, making her shiver.So fucking cute!"The way you shiver when I do that." She laughs when Lissa picks her head up and scowls at her, "And how you're about to tell me. ."

Lissa's eyes narrow as Julie shifts to stretch out on top of her, "Don't let your fingers write checks. . "

". your lips and tongue can't cash, Whitney." Julie finishes and looks up into Lissa's eyes from her position at the woman's waist, "But my lips and tongue can cash any check my fingers write, Miss Norman." She brushes the fingers of one hand over the woman's nipple, earning a groaned, "Fuck," and she responds, "Oh, I'm going to, but only when I'm ready."

She makes a show of licking around Lissa's bellybutton.I will never get tired of this. .ever."Mmm damn, baby, you must have really amped up those workouts! Your abs are ridiculous!"

"I kind of needed to take my mind off things, so I threw myself into working out." She sucks in a sharp breath when Julie licks up the center of her stomach, "Damn it, Whit!" The girl kisses her hard and passionately, making her arch up for more pressure. When their lips part, Julie kisses and licks Lissa's neck, driving the woman to distraction. She groans, "Julie, please."

"Relax, baby," she kisses the woman's breastbone and then the swell of a breast, "I got this." She winks and gives Lissa a sexy grin, "You deserve so much, but all I can offer is everything I have." She takes Lissa's hands and laces their fingers together before stretching them above the woman's head, "And trust me when I tell you, everything I have is yours."

"Hmm," Lissa smiles, "promise?"

She shakes her head just once, "No." Lightly kissing Lissa's lips, being careful not to hurt her, Julie whispers, "I swear, baby." She moves her lips down to Lissa's throat and shoulders, placing little kisses all over.I love you. I love you. I love you.The woman writhes under her and Julie smiles, enjoying the taste and feel of Lissa's body.

Lissa sighs and presses against the body on top of hers.Jesus I'm going to burn up!Her blood is racing and the sensation of Julie's lips wrapped around a nipple makes her close her eyes with a deep groan, "God." She parts her legs further, wrapping them around Julie's waist. She grinds against the girl and sighs when one of Julie's hands slides down her arm.Yes, God, please keep going.

Oh, no you don't!Julie spreads her legs and rises above the woman, disconnecting their bodies, "Oh, you're playing dirty, baby." She watches Lissa drag her eyes open and she smiles at the woman, "You're being bad." She lightly pinches a nipple, garnering a gasp. Smiling devilishly, she kisses the pink nipple before whispering, "And it's my turn to be bad."

"If you don't hurry up, I'm gonna forget whose turn it is and flip this shit," Lissa smiles. Her hips undulate, proving she has enough lower body strength to full through on her threat.

Julie's eyes narrow, "Oh yeah?" She presses her thumb against Lissa's clit, "Need some pressure there, Mama?"

"Fuck you," Lissa gasps.

"You did," Julie's thumb makes little circles, "don't you remember?" She watches Lissa grit her teeth and can't stop the chuckle, "What's wrong, Liss? You get distracted?" The woman's hips begin moving against her hand and Julie stops cold. When she does, Lissa's eyes fly open, "What?" She all-out laughs when Lissa gives a frustrated sigh.

"God damn you!" Pressing her foot against the bed, Lissa attempts to flip Julie onto her back but is surprised when she can't, "What the hell?"

Throwing her head back, Julie laughs, "Yes!" She stares back down at the woman and drags her tongue along her teeth as she slides her middle finger into Lissa's body, "See, baby," she pulls out slowly and pushes back in all the way, "you're not the only one who worked out." She adds a finger, making Lissa whine, "I did, too." Using her own body against her hand, she grinds hard against Lissa, her fingers plunging slow and deep, "And I had a lot of time to think about what I'd do to you when I got you in this position again." She watches their hips grind together and gasps when she feels Lissa get infinitely wetter, "God damn, I've missed you." Julie dips her head to tug a nipple with her teeth and increases the speed of her hand.

"Oh God, Julie," Lissa whispers over and over.That is good. .so fucking good!When Julie lets go of her other hand, she grabs the girl's neck to pull her down for a kiss that's deep and wet. She closes her eyes and trails kisses from Julie's lips to her jaw, neck, and then her shoulder, where she bites gently as she enjoys the feeling of Julie's fingers inside her,

"Julie, yes." She feels Julie kissing her neck and she turns her face away from the girl to press her cheek against the pillow under her head.So close. I am so fucking close."Don't stop," she breathes.Oh fuck yeah.She reaches down and grabs Julie's wrist with a groan,

"Faster." Using her own hand, she shows Julie how fast she needs it to be.God damn yes!

With her lips against Lissa's ear, Julie growls low and sexy, "Come on, baby. I know you want it as much as I do." She lightly bites the woman's earlobe, "Mmm you are so fucking sexy." Lissa's body gets wetter and tighter, and Julie knows it won't take much more. She smirks as she skips one pump of her fingers, making Lissa grunt, "What's wrong, baby?" She whispers in Lissa's ear and resumes her rhythm. Clasping her teeth together she snarls, "You will cum for me." She skips another pump and Lissa's eyes fly open to give her a desperate but mad look. "You will cumhardfor me," she says, as she resumes the pace again.

Gasping with pent-up tension, Lissa breathes, "Fuck me, Julie."

Pinning the woman down by pressing her whole body against her, Julie bites Lissa's shoulder and demands in the woman's ear, "Now, Lissa. Cum now."

"Fuck. Fuck. Oh God." She arches hard and presses her hips against the warm body above her, "Fuck yes. Right there." She opens her eyes to look into Julie's as she moans,

"Now." Her eyes close, her head drops back, her muscles tighten on the fingers inside her and she shudders hard as she calls softly, "Julie," over and over.

Watching Lissa's orgasm and feeling how tight the woman gets is too much for Julie's overheated body to take. She surprises herself by having a climax of her own, dropping her head into the crook of Lissa's neck as her body trembles. Her lips barely move as her throat gives up very few words, "I love you, Lissa."

A single happy tear slides onto Lissa's pillow as she wraps her arms around the shivering girl, "I love you, Julie."

Chapter 39

Monday, March 6

"Julie?"

The voice is unfamiliar and Julie turns to face the person who called her name,

"Yeah?"Oh shit. What the hel does she want?"Coach Blanton, how are you?" Julie puts her hand out for the woman to shake.

Smiling brightly, the woman takes the offered hand, "I'm well. And how are you? Do you mind if I join you?"

Without waiting for an answer, the woman takes a seat at the table Julie was about to claim, "Not at al ." She smiles but she can't help wondering why the coach of tonight's opponent would want to talk to her. She takes a seat and unwraps her lunch, "You're not about to ask me what our game plan for tonight is, are you? Because Coach frowns on that kind of thing." She gives the woman a slightly amused look as she begins eating her sandwich.

The woman laughs, which isn't a totally unpleasant sound, but she's the enemy and something in Julie says the woman isn't about to change that label, "Actually I was wondering if you were still happy here at Whalen, considering…" her voice trails off.

"Considering what?"What the hel ?

"Considering you're playing for a lesbian," the woman finishes bluntly.

The fuck she say?"I'm sorry?" She shakes her head to get the smartass remarks out,

"What makes you think I wouldn't be happy playing for a lesbian? We play basketball, not shoot porn movies."Though there are times. . shit. Focus Whit.

Tanya Blanton sighs, "I know that, Julie. I just worry for your future since Coach Norman has been so. ." she pretends to look for a word, "vocal with her sexual preference."

She reaches across the table and puts a hand on Julie's arm, "I know you're from a good,Christianfamily. I spoke to your mother and she said that the decision is up to you."

"You spoke to my mother?" She tries to hide the outrage in her voice, but her facial expression leaves no question that she's angry, "You cal ed and spoke to my mother about whether or not I want to play on a team who has an assistant who finds herself in love with a woman and not a man?"This bitch here is about to see me go California ghetto. Let me calm down. Breathe, Julie.

"Now Julie," the woman's hand tightens on the girl's arm just slightly, "I don't mean to upset you."

"Well it's a little too damn late for that, Coach Blanton," she snaps. "I didn't come to this team because the coaches were straight. And I didn't come here in spite of it. And, with all due respect, if you don't move your hand, I might break it." The hand moves and Julie takes a breath to try and calm herself, "You need to know that I don't care who does what or whom behind their own door. I came here to win championships. I've been here just over one year, but I already won one. Now, I don't know what you think you can offer me-"

"Let's talk about that, then!" Eager to make her offer, the woman cuts Julie off and begins to present her package, "We would offer you a full scholarship. It would cover any and everything from a place to live to pencils. Whatever you need will be provided without question."

"I get that here," Julie replies flatly.

"Academical y, Julie, our university is ranked higher than Whalen." She counters, "We rank higher in research, living space, campus size, and many more categories."

Don't laugh out loud, you'll be considered rude. Keep calm.Julie leans forward, "But you're forgetting something," she wads up her sandwich wrapper and stands, "I don't give ashitabout how many dorm rooms you have or the acreage the school owns." She bends to get closer to the woman's face, "You might be ranked above Whalen so high we can only see the shadow you create from how far up you are, but you don't have Jackie Baits. Or Dana Tess.

Or Lissa Norman. And you do not," she slows her words for emphasis, "and willnever, have me.

This team can lose every game from now until I graduate and I will still get my degree here. I could get hurt tomorrow and never hold a ball again and I willstil get my degree here. And Coach Norman can marry a gaggle of geese or fuck a whole soccer team and I willstil get my degree here. And as of right now, the only category I give a damn about is the one I know forsurewe rank above you in. .women's basketball. I am now and always will be a mother fucking Eagle." She rises and gives the woman a chin nod before turning to go, "Good luck tonight, coach.You'l need it."

* * *

Jackie's a little breathless as she and Julie watch Dana take two free throws, "You want to ease up?"

She glances at the score, "No. I don't give a damn if we beat them by a hundred. No mercy." Julie's blue eyes are cold as steel, "No fucking mercy."

A wicked grin spreads across Jackie's face as she whispers to the floor, "No fucking mercy."

By halftime, the Eagles lead Tanya Blanton's team by 43. The Eagles gather around their point guard in the locker room before taking the court again. "Listen y'all," Julie sighs,

"Blanton approached me at lunch today. She was trying to get me to transfer."

"What?" Jackie exclaims, "What the hell for?" The other girls as the same question a dozen ways.

Julie holds up her hands for quiet, "She was offering in case I didn't want to play for a lesbian."

No one smiles. There are no giggles, chuckles, snickers, or laughs. . at first. Once the corner of Julie's mouth twitches, though, Jackie explodes, "What?" She begins to al -out cackle, "Oh shit no!" The other girls break out in laughter and then Jackie pretends to be serious, "Julie, you're. .are you ok? Are you ok playing for a lesbian?"

Playing along, Julie sighs with a smile, "I don't know, Jackie, I mean," she makes her bottom lip tremble, "you know how those lesbians are! They can't play ball for shit!"

That starts a whole new round of laughter. Lissa walks into the room, having heard the entire exchange, and calls, "Hey, it's time to get back out there. Come on." She catches Julie's arm, "Stay here a minute." When all the other girls are gone, she turns to the girl,

"Did she really try to get you to transfer?"

"Baby, I'm not going anywhere," Julie wraps her arms around the woman, "I love this place. I love this team. And I love you."

She can't stop the smile, "And I love you, but I need to say something to her."

"No you don't," she leans down and kisses the woman softly, "I said everything that needed to be said and then some. Trust me."

Lissa sighs and kisses the girl's neck, "Leave it on the floor, baby."

The laugh is deep and throaty, "Nah, baby. I'm gonna leave it on the scoreboard."

* * *

The final score is almost painful for Coach Blanton: 99-47. She clenches her teeth tightly when she watches Julie deliberately miss 2 free throws.

Lissa is looking forward to her chance to shakes hands with Coach Blanton. When they do, she pulls the woman against her in a hug. She mumbles with a smile, "Perhaps next time you're in town, you and I can have a private lunch together, too." She pulls away and gives the woman a knowing smile before moving along, "Good game, Coach."

Waiting at the end of the line, the last person to shake hands with Coach Blanton, is Julie Whitney. When the woman takes her hand, Julie smiles, "Good game."

Plastering a smile on her face and mumbling through it, Coach Blanton pulls the girl into a perfunctory hug, "Why did you miss those last two shots?"

I was hoping you'd ask that.Julie smiles evilly even though the woman can't see it,

"Because, coach, I thought being twice as good as your team was shame enough for you to bear. I didn't want to be a bitch and break into triple digits on you." The woman, clearly vexed, pulls away from her but Julie grabs her attention, "And Tanya," the woman turns, without a smile, "just in case I need to clarify, I won't be transferring to your school. I kind of like being on thewinningteam, you know." With a wink and a killer smile, Julie Whitney turns and struts to her teammates for their post-game chant.Take that, bitch!

Chapter 40

Thursday, March 16

Coach Al en catches Julie in the hallway and stops walking, "How are you, Julie? Where are you coming from?"

Oh. .shit. Smile. Act casual. You were only walking.Julie smiles at him, "I'm alright, coach. I just got done with working out. I'm all nasty and sweaty." She laughs, "How are you?" She slows her pace, but continues to walk towards Lissa's office, past him.

"I'm alright." He's curious now, "Where are you headed?"

Oooh don't lie. Act normal.Julie stops walking and turns to face him fully, "I'm going to Coach Norman's office."

Taken aback, he asks, "Why?"

Fuck!She pauses a little too long, "She called me into her office."

He sighs, "What's the real reason you're going?"

"To talk to her."Mayday! Mayday!

"Is it personal?"

"No, sir."Damn! I should've said yes!

"Then I'm coming with you." He catches up to her and they walk together.

Fuck! Why is he bothering me? What is Lissa going to do? Shrug. Act unaffected.

Donotpanic."Ok."

He knocks on the door first. When Lissa calls out, "Come in!" he opens the door and lets Julie enter first.

When Taylor enters the room, Lissa stands with a nervous smile, "Hey coach. Did you find her wandering the halls muttering things to herself?"

Without responding, he closes the door behind them. He motions to a chair, "Have a seat, Julie."

Julie nods and gives Lissa an apologetic look. She sits in the chair, slumps down low, and sighs.Shit. Here we go.

Taylor starts, "Lissa, what's going on, here? Because I thought it was very clear that you are not to see Julie during the season."

Ok, it's now or never.Lissa looks down at her desk and takes a deep breath before sitting down, "Have a seat, coach."

"I'll just st-"

"Taylor," her voice is firm, "sit."

Sit down, man! She's scary when she's angry!Julie looks up into Coach Allen's face and shivers. He takes a seat, though, without saying another word.Good boy! Whoa. Don't laugh at that.She faces Lissa and prays that Coach Allen takes Lissa's next words in a calm manner.

Lissa breathes, "Alright." She takes another deep breath and addresses the coach,

"We are still seeing each other. And I love her very much. The Ashley cover didn't work.

We're no longer together and haven't been for weeks now." She takes another breath,

"There is an agreement between us that if anything is said about us and our hands are forced again about being together, I'll quit."

He sucks in a breath, "Lissa, d-"

She puts her hand up, "Taylor, just listen." She watches as he shakes his head in disbelief, "Taylor, jobs will come and go. Money means nothing to me. But I am so in love with this woman that it would be worth it to me to give up this job." She lets that sink in before continuing, "And if you're going to fire me, then go ahead and do it. But I will not stop seeing her. I refuse. I'm in love with her and she's in love with me and it's worth it if it means that I don't have to hide how happy I am or how much I love her."

He takes a deep breath, "I don't know what to say."

Lissa nods, "I know I betrayed your trust by continuing this with her. But if you hadn't seen her today, we wouldn't be having this conversation and you would be none the wiser. So we're doing something right in the way we're keeping it quiet now."

"I agree that you're doing a good job hiding it. And I know you're in love. You're very much in love. But Lissa," he leans forward in his chair, "Chuck, the athletic director,my boss, made that rule. I can't just tell him you're not going to follow it and have him not come down with some sort of discipline."

"I understand that, Taylor. I really do. And I know that you might have to let me go.

And I know you don't want to do that. So there will be no hard feelings at al if you have to fire me. My hope was that we could just be proactive and do a press release. But I don't know how Chuck would take that."

He sighs and runs his hands through his hair. He looks at Julie, "Are you prepared to do that?"

She nods, "If I threaten to quit, would that help?"

He sits back in his chair, incredulous, "You would do that?"

Her blue eyes are steely when she responds, "In a heartbeat, Coach. I love her. And you'd do the same."

After a long moment of thinking, he stands quickly, "Let me call Chuck." He points at Julie, "Stay in here. I'll be back."

When they're left alone, Lissa puts her head on her desk and Julie rushes around to rub her shoulders, "Lissa, come on. It's alright."

"He's going to fire me. I just know it."If he fires me, he fires me. There's nothing I can do about it now.

"He might not, baby. Chuck's a cool guy, right? He may just say that we can keep going like we're going and not worry about it until something else comes up. Or he might agree to a press conference and just lay it out on the table."

Taylor knocks on the door and pokes his head inside, "Chuck is coming. Meet in the conference room in five minutes."

Lissa nods, "Okay."Shit! He wants to fire me in person!

Taylor disappears and Julie sighs, "I want to go in there with you."

"I don't think he expected any different." She stands, "Let's go ahead to the conference room."

Julie turns Lissa to face her, "Come here." She wraps her arms around the woman's waist, "We're going to be fine. I swear, if I have to leave, I will. We haven't broken any rule or hurt anyone." She brushes her knuckles against Lissa's cheek, "We're going to be fine.

We'll sleep together tonight, and wake up to each other tomorrow, just like we have for weeks."

She nods, "Okay. No matter what?"

Julie kisses the woman softly, "No matter what."

* * *

When Chuck enters the conference room, he's a couple of minutes late. He breezes in and sits down, "Alright, what is this al about?"

Julie and Lissa look at Taylor, expecting him to speak, and he does, "Chuck, Lissa and Julie have decided that they are not going to end their relationship. They've both said that if this is a problem for the program they'll leave it. I suggest we think of a more appropriate solution."

Chuck looks at Julie, astonished, "You'd do that? You would quit this team for her?"

Julie nods, "Without question."In a heartbeat. Right this minute. Don't test me, man.

He shakes his head, "Damn it! Why can't you just wait two years? Wait until you go pro and then you can fuck whomever you choose!"

Lissa speaks up, "Because I refuse to live in the closet with you, unhappy, depressed, and hopeless. Not to mention loveless." She shakes her head, "I've finally found someone that makes me really,trulyhappy. And I'd rather quit this job now and have that for two extra years than to put it off soyou'l be happier."

What?Julie's mouth drops open and she gasps at Chuck, "You're gay?"

Lissa looks at Julie, "That doesn't leave this room." She looks back at a stunned Chuck,

"Now, are you going to fire me or work out something with us?"

He taps his fingers on the table and sighs deeply, "You're absolutely sure you want to go public with this?"

"The ideal situation would be to wait until someone forces our hand with another picture or story. But I think bring proactive might help us."

The man runs his hand through his hair, debating the choices. Taylor speaks up, "Chuck, listen, she's the best person for this job. We both know that. And I swear I don't think I could find someone who cares as much as she does. And God help us if Julie leaves. We'd fucking crumble. I think it's a no-brainer, here. We should work with them."

Chuck nods and stands, "Stay here."

The three left behind sit in silence until Taylor begins to laugh. Before long, he's crying.

Amused, Lissa asks, "What are you laughing about?"

He wipes his eyes, "I can't see him with another man. Can you?"

Julie laughs, "I almost died when you said that, Liss! I never had a clue!"

"Well, I saw him at Pride in Atlanta just before I did the interview here. I saw him go total y pale when he shook my hand at that first meeting."

"Wow," Taylor says, "that is really funny to think about." He chuckles quietly, "Would he be the top or bottom?"

Julie scrunches up her nose, "Ew."

Lissa laughs, "Taylor, I could have gone my whole life without wondering that. Now, I want to poke out my mind's eye."

When Chuck returns, he addresses the women, "At three today you're going to meet with Shanda Mater, a reporter for the local lesbian and gay magazine. She's going to do a feature story on this. I think that a press release will be a bit much and they might not be as helpful as we'd like. Shanda will do a beautiful piece on you and I trust her. She's a good friend of mine. Any questions?"

"Thank you, Chuck."

"Lissa, I want to make it clear that I don't like this. But I have to say that your devotion to one another is really inspiring. I think the risk you're taking is ridiculous, but you're an inspiration. And I hope it goes well. But please understand that if too much is said about this, we'll have to take further steps. Right now we're just going to bide our time."

Lissa nods, "Understood."

When Julie and Lissa are left alone again, they sit in silence for a few moments. Then Julie turns to look at Lissa, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

The woman pauses on a moment before answering, "I can't imagine my life without you.

Icanimagine it without this job. So yes."

The corner of Julie's mouth crooks into a smile, "Me either." With a sigh she stands to go, "I'm going to get a shower before we have this interview."

"Alright," Lissa stands to hug her, "I'm going to get some work done. Or at least try."

They hug each other for a long time, just enjoying the comfort in each other's arms. Then, with a sly smile, Lissa pulls back from the girl, "Go shower, please. You stink."

Julie gasps, "No you didn't!"

Chapter 41

Sunday, March 26

My Girl

By: Shanda Mater

They call her Coach or Lissa. She's Lissa Norman, an assistant coach for the Whalen University Women's Basketball team. She was hired last year, at the age of twenty-seven, just prior to the Eagle's championship run. The team loves her and it's pretty obvious if you speak to her for any length of time, she loves them, too. They call her when they're stuck on a study question, when they need clothing advice, when they're too sick to practice, or when they just need to talk to someone. And she has never failed them.

"Coach is the most reliable person you'll ever meet." Julie says. But you have to keep in mind that Julie's a little biased. Let's meet her, shall we?

Her name is Julie Whitney. But they call her Whit. She's the starting guard for the Whalen University Women's Basketball team. A star player at the ripe old age of 19, Julie's been featured by ESPN as one of the top draft picks, which is high praise, to be sure. Even higher for Julie, as she's just a sophomore. With skills like hers, you would think that basketball is al she thinks about. Not Julie. Here are some of Julie Whitney's numbers off the court:

7 -number of quarters she's attended Whalen

7 -number of quarters she's been on the Dean's List

3.87 -her GPA

5 -hour of the morning she gets up to work out

3 -number of hours she works out

4 -number of classes she's taking this quarter

3 -number of hours she studies per day

3 -number of times per week she calls her family in Texas 21 -number of months she's been dating Coach Norman

I know, it's shocking, isn't it? She works out for 3 hours, takes 3 hours to study, and still manages to take a class during the day! All right, I know you're more focused on the fact that she's dating the coach. So let's talk about that.

They met in September of last year, when Lissa started her job and Julie started college. Both women are secure in their sexuality, but neither of them really flaunts it.

Especially not Lissa, "I just don't bring it up, honestly. It's not something that everyone needs to know about. But I don't hide it, either."

And now, amid possible controversy over their relationship, Julie and Lissa have decided to sit down with me and just lay it all out on the table. What follows is our interview.

Shanda Mater (SM): How did this whole thing start?

Lissa Norman (LN): Well, (looking at Julie) she had a crush on me and confessed it.

(She shrugs) It wasn't as if we'd planned anything out or that there was a big conversation about it or a strategy. It just happened.

Julie Whitney (JW): (Smiling at Lissa) Yeah, I kind of got tired of hiding it.

SM: (To Julie) So you'd liked her a while?

JW: Well, if you call four months a while.

SM: (Laughing) In college years, that's a long time! (To Lissa) How did you respond to this confession of hers?

LN: Oh, I didn't know what to say! I don't think I did anything for a while.

JW: It took forever! And you have to remember that we would see each other every single day. There were blushing looks and nervous laughing. But she didn't tell me how she felt for sure until…(pausing to think). February.

SM: (To Lissa) You didn't say anything to the child until February?

LN: I didn't know what to say! I didn't know any of the rules for the school or the NCAA. I had no idea if it was just a passing thing or if it was real. I didn't want to compromise my position for a college crush, you know?

SM: (To Julie) Did you think it was just a crush?

JW: (Shaking head) Not for a minute. I came out at the age of sixteen. And I'd had enough female friends who were in love with boys to know what teenage love was all about.

SM: You never had a boyfriend yourself?

JW: No. I didn't trust people. I had a really rocky childhood and when I had my first crush, it was on a female teacher. So, at the age of sixteen, I told my mother. She's my adoptive mother and is the most loving person you will ever meet. My parents totally supported me then and support me even more now. I never felt pressured by my peers or my parents to "try" a relationship with a guy. They just accepted me immediately.

SM: (To Lissa) So she tells you that she has a crush and you don't say anything about it for months. What did you finally say in February?

LN: Well, honestly, I didn't say anything really. After the Alumni game, she was a bit upset and I was the reason for it. We'd gotten closer as people, not just coach and player.

We'd had long talks on road trips and she'd come by the office occasionally and talk to me about her animals at home and her family because she missed them. She's so smart and mature and totally my equal in every way. The other girls on the team are just as wonderful, but (looking at Julie) there's just something that draws me to her.

SM: So what happened?

LN: We kissed. And that was all I needed to say or do.

JW: That's all I was waiting on.

SM: So the sexual relationship started after the alumni game?

JW: (Laughing) Hardly!

LN: (Laughing) Not at all! That part seemed to take forever in college years, as you say.

JW: Shanda, it was May!

SM: Let me get this straight, or as straight as I can. You met in September, (pointing at Julie) confessed your feelings in December, (pointing at Lissa) gave in to the feelings in February with only a kiss, and didn't sleep with each other until May?

LN: (Nodding) That is correct.

JW: Crazy, huh?

SM: I just can't believe it! I mean, most people think that lesbians have sex every free moment of the day!

LN: Well, statistics state that half of all heterosexual marriages fail. But I would never presume to know which relationships will or won't fail. Each relationship is different.

And to be honest, it's none of my business if they fail or not.

JW: Just like it's none of anyone else's business how much sex we have.

SM: Wel it definitely lends more credibility to your relationship that you didn't just jump into the sack with each other. And you don't live together now, either, do you?

LN: Nope. She lives in an apartment with a couple of her team members.

JW: I live with Jackie Baits and Beth Eddy. I moved out of the dorms after our freshman year.

SM: (To Julie) Did you tell your parents?

JW: Absolutely. They've met almost every girlfriend I've ever had.

SM: How did they take that?

JW: They met Lissa in December when they came to visit for Christmas. Then they met her again when they came out for a week in August. They love her. By the time they came in August, we were a really solid couple and it was completely natural. My dad adores her because she likes to fish and mom loves her because she can sew. (Laughing) They really enjoy her company.

SM: (To Lissa) What about your parents?

LN: Same thing, they love her. My mom was able to come down here in August when her parents where here. And then they both came down in December for Christmas. Dad got to meet her, but (pausing to look at her hands) there was a lot going on then.

SM: Let's talk about that a little. In October there was a picture published in the Chestnut newspaper that showed you (looking at Lissa) kissing another woman. The newspaper captioned the photo as being you and an unidentified player. But then the university came out to say that it was you and Ashley Nihart in the photo. You were even seen out at local functions together after you were "outed". So who was it, a player or Ashley?

LN: Well (taking a deep breath) let me first say that the university did what they had to do to protect everyone involved. They meant well and I appreciate their efforts. The person in the picture was, in fact, Julie. Ashley and I knew each other by name only prior to that incident. I think it was a knee-jerk reaction on everyone's part, coming up with that story. And I feel horrible for having lied, but I hope that people can understand why it was such a confusing and difficult time for us. And I hope they can hear us out now and forgive us for misleading them.

SM: (To Julie) It honestly seems like they were trying to protect you more than anyone else. If you'd been out for years to your parents, why didn't you just fess up?

JW: I tried, but when you're nineteen, Shanda, everyone else knows what's best for you, right? You obviously don't have a clue what's good for you and what's not.

SM: (Laughing) I understand completely. So you were pretty wel forced to deliver this story?

JW: Well, I was so hurt and stunned, honestly. I know we both were. It was so out of the blue and so shocking that we weren't thinking clearly. The picture was published and the decision was made that same day. There was no sleeping on it, no waiting for it to blow over, no time to think or ask questions. So by the time the shock had worn off, we were already too deep in the cover story to come out of it.

SM: Why now, then?

JW: After an insane argument on New Year's Eve, we didn't speak for over a month.

Well, we spoke at games and practices only when we had to. But other than that, we had no verbal contact at all. In that period of time, Lissa ended things with Ashley and we'd both slipped into a mild form of depression. We had a game on the day before Valentine's Day. I got into a bit of a scuffle with a player on the opposing team, if you'll remember.

SM: I do remember that, actually. (Pointing at Lissa) Wasn't it you that got the bad end of that deal?

LN: (Laughing) Yeah, that is one of my most memorable games but for all the wrong reasons!

JW: Yeah, I'm not so proud of that game, either. And you can probably tell because I know my face is red just thinking about it! (Laughing) The entire team went to the hospital to make sure she was okay. She was gracious enough (looking at Lissa) to grant me permission to see her last and alone.

SM: I assume you planned to apologize, but was that the only thing you hoped to accomplish? Or did you hope to patch up the relationship, too?

JW: Truthfully, I was going to apologize for everything since the day I was born!

(Laughing) I'd royally screwed up and I knew it! She was sitting there with this horribly swollen and bruised face and all I could think about was how I'd done it to her by being stubborn and reckless.

LN: She couldn't shoulder all the blame, though. Well, (laughing) for the punch, yes!

But for the relationship, we were both at fault to a certain extent. I felt like I'd betrayed her in every way possible, honestly. In an effort to protect her, no one asked her, not even me, what she wanted. Then I emotionally shut down to her because I thought she hated me.

And to add insult to injury, I was prancing around town with another woman! Granted, I didn't like it at al , and would much rather have been with her, but I was out there nonetheless.

SM: (Looking at Julie) Did you apologize first?

JW: (Nodding) Oh yeah! I didn't even expect her to apologize! For a long time I did blame her, at least partially, for the way things were. But by this time, I knew she'd done all she could do. I was just being childish. But once in that room, alone, with the entire story told, the layers of anger and resentment and fear, and all those other emotions, just peeled away. But then, (looking at Lissa), I had to get mean.

SM: (To Lissa) What's she talking about?

LN: I think she's referring to the little speech she had to give me. (Laughing) You have to understand, I was so intent on keeping up the charade that I still wasn't fully listening to what she was saying when she said she was done with hiding. I was still thinking, "We can't be together. We can't be together." But she made this impassioned, beautiful speech and I felt something in me say, "Oh shit, this is it!" (Laughing) I finally heard her when she said she was sick of hiding and being apart. And I told her that my job is not worth losing her for, but she's worth losing my job.

SM: Are you going to lose your job?

LN: (Takes a deep breath) If this blows up in my face, yes.

SM: What do you mean if it blows up in your face?

JW: If the public doesn't take this well and pressure is put on the Athletic Department or the University, she'll either be fired or asked to resign.

SM: You're kidding!

LN: (Shaking her head) No. But it's only right. I have totally made that decision myself. I know how the world views our relationship. On top of the fact that I'm a coach dating a player, I'm a female coach dating a female player. But we both know that if we lose everything here in Chestnut. .my job, her scholarship, our friends, we'll still have our families and each other. So we're doing this to clear the air and put the truth out there. (Shrugging) Come what may.

SM: (To Julie) What do you hope happens after this with basketball and your relationship?

JW: (Smiling) We're headed to another Final Four next week. I hope we win and I get to keep playing and I graduate and go on to the WNBA. And, (looking at Lissa), I hope she's right there with me.

SM: (To Lissa) What about you?

LN: (Smiling at Julie) I hope we win, too! And also I hope she'll be pushing me around in a wheelchair when I'm old.

SM: All right, a couple more questions. You're to answer these as a couple. Do you have a favorite "everyday" kind of meal to eat together and if so, what is it?

JW: That's easy, (looking at Lissa), pasta and Pepsi. We eat it sitting on her living room floor, using the coffee table for a dining table. And we watch basketbal on television.

LN: (Nodding and laughing) She's right.

SM: How odd. (Laughing) Okay. What's the most romantic thing you've ever done as a couple?

JW: (Looks at Lissa) Um..

LN: (Looks at Julie) Oh God, I don't know!

JW: What about when we didn't see each other before the banquet? Because of our outfits?

LN: Is that romantic, though? (To Shanda) We attended the annual fundraiser in September, but we didn't see each other's outfit until the day of the event. We do a lot of really goofy romantic things, but we haven't done one thing that sticks out more than others.

SM: Wel that's fine. When you do, let me know, okay?

LN: (Laughing) Okay!

Call them what you like: perverted, crude, or sinners. Or you can call them: adorable, charming, inspirational, and a testament to strong women everywhere. They honestly don't care what you call them. They are secure in who they are as people and who they are as a couple.

To me, they are beautiful, funny, magnetic women who are completely in love. I envy what they have with each other. They are trial-tested and strong. And I am very glad that I can now call them friends.

I asked them what they call each other. I wanted those silly names that other people never hear, you know? I expected "Schnookums" or "Boo", or some other variation of their name turned into a delightfully sickening nickname. Instead, they smiled coyly at me and said in unison, "My girl."

Chapter 42

Monday, April 3

Calm and steady."Twenty three!" Julie screams the play over the din of the crowd,

"Twenty three!"Breathe. Jackie's open. Dana's cutting.She passes the ball to Jackie who drives the lane and makes the basket. She looks at the scoreboard as the buzzer sounds on a media time out. She slaps hands with other players as they take a seat on the bench. Her eyes sting from the sweat in them. Her heart is pounding and her legs are running on pure adrenaline. She looks up at the scoreboard again when her eyes straighten out.Damn. 79 to 81. Down by two.She checks the time left.Fuck. 43 seconds.

“Julie!" Coach calls her name, "Are you listening?"

She nods, "Yes sir. You want me to take a three."

"Yes." He stresses this next point to the entire team, "Donotfoul and theycannotscore, do you understand me? If they score, you call a timeout if they don't beat you to it…as soon as possible."

They nod and break up. Julie turns to hand her water bottle to Jayd, but Lissa's there instead. She smiles, "We going out after I win this?"

I love how cocky you are in spite of everything.Lissa laughs nervously, "Sure. You buyin'?"

She shrugs as she backs away slowly, wiping sweat off her face with her jersey,

"Depends on what I get out of it."

Lissa laughs, "Well, damn. Aren't we demanding, Miss Superstar?"

"I'll makeyoua superstar." She stops and shakes her butt a little, "We're gonna go dancin'. I'll show you some superstar moves."

As if you have moves I haven't seen.Laughing, Lissa shakes her head, "You better get your mind on the game."

"Eh, I know the game inside and out. But you on the other hand…" her voice trails off as she hooks her thumb in the elastic of her shorts and gives Lissa's body a seductive once-over, "you're another story. I'd like to know you inside and out."

Lissa points to the court with a huge smile on her face and a blush quickly darkening on her cheeks. She barks, "Go!Now!"

Julie winks and smiles before catching up to the other team members and huddling with them, "Alright, we gotta do this. I know what he wants us to do. But here's what we're going to do."

Jackie smiles, "That's what I'm talkin' about. Let's win this thing our way!"

Julie nods, "Damn right. I'm gonna be close to the baseline when the ball is in bounded.

Jackie, you have to get a hand on it and tip it to me. I'll pass it to you, Dana. Run off your five seconds and make the safest pass you can to the next open player. Run as much time off as possible. If they foul you, don't fuss about it. When there's 5 seconds left on the shot clock, I'll be open and y'all get it to me."

Dana asks, "Are you sure?"

"I'll be open." Julie's tone and facial expression indicate she plans to do whatever it takes to be open for that pass, "Pass it to me. I'll take the last shot and then you all have to pray it goes in." She sighs, "Don't foul them. Instead, let them foul you." They all nod in agreement, "Let's go!"

The ball is in bounded and Jackie manages to steal it and pass to Julie. Julie dribbles near the baseline and directs traffic. She passes to Dana and makes a cut under the basket.

She screams for Dana to pass to Linda, "Linda! Linda! Linda!"

Dana passes to Linda who dribbles for a couple of seconds. With 12 seconds left on the shot clock, she attempts a pass to Dana, but a defender fouls her.

Julie pumps her fist in the air, "Yes!" She grabs Linda, "Come on, babe. You can do this!

Just take a deep breath."

Linda nods and wipes sweat off her face, "My eyes are burning, Whit."

"Do you need a time out?" Julie checks the girl's eyes for obstructions, "I think it's just sweat."

"We only have two left." She pulls her jersey tail up to wipe her eyes, but it's not working.

"Wipe with the dry edge. Do you need me to help?"

"Nah, I got it I think."

Julie nods and pats Linda on the hip, "Okay. Deep breath. No pressure, we have plenty of time."

Linda takes to the line and gets the bal . She dribbles and puts the bal up. It rolls around the rim and out. She is instantly upset with herself, "Fucking son of a bitch!" She turns around and walks away from the basket.

Julie calls out to her, "Calm down! Just take this one, Linda. You're fine."Please, sweet mother of God let this go in.

Linda sighs and takes the ball again. She dribbles three times and lets the bal go again. Again it rol s around the basket and out. The upside is that Jackie's there to grab the rebound and clear it from the net. She passes it to Julie who breathes a sigh of relief with the bal in her hands for the final 23 seconds. She calls a time out.

Coach draws out a plan that mirrors the one Julie spelled out earlier. She nods to the team as they take the court again, "We can do this."

Dana inbounds the ball to Julie who dribbles along the perimeter. She passes it back to Dana on the far side then she cuts under the basket as Dana runs around the top of the key.

Julie screams for Dana to pass to Jackie, "Jackie! Jackie! Jackie!" The bal is passed successfully.Hold it, Jackie.She looks at the clock.Eleven seconds. Hold it until eight, Jackie.

With 8 seconds left, Jackie passes to Dana who dribbles. With 5 seconds left, Dana makes a flawless pass to Julie. She gets the ball and with 2 seconds left she jumps to shoot a three, but the defender slaps her hard on the hand. The whistle blows for a foul, but Julie's blinded by pain, "Fuck!" Dana calls a time out quickly and Julie runs to the bench crying and shaking her hand, "It's broken! I swear to God it's broken!"

Lissa's heart lurches to her throat as Julie sits on the bench, rocking back and forth in pain. She feels utterly helpless, but starts wiping Julie's face with a towel. She wipes tears and sweat, praying that the hand isn't broken.

Coach Al en asks Julie, "Do you want to take the shots or do you want someone else?"

Julie clenches her teeth together and winces in pain as David, an assistant coach, checks out her hand. He sighs at looks at Coach Al en, "It's broken. I'd bet my life on it."

Shit.Lissa's heart stops altogether, "Oh no."

Coach Al en kicks a chair, "Fuck!" He takes a deep breath and turns back to the only player he'd trust with the game on the line, "Julie, what do you want to do, honey?" He knows she's their best free throw shooter, but she's got to make all three of them. If she doesn't, the championship goes to the Huskies.

Julie turns a teary-eyed face to Lissa, "Should I do it?"

Lissa looks at the teammates around her and then back at Julie, "If you can, yes. If you can't, we'll all understand. And we'll love you anyway."

Quietly she asks, "Do you think I can?"

Her heart melts, "Baby, I think you can do any damn thing you set your mind to. You are the strongest person I know. And if anyone can do it, it's you."

Julie smiles at her and then turns to Coach, "I'll take 'em."

Even with a knot in his throat and his heart pounding in his ears, Coach manages to smile, "Alright. Get 'em. If you miss 'em, no stress. I still think you're the best damn team in theworld."

As the girls take the court, Jackie nudges Julie in the back, "You're gonna win this, you know that, right?" She smiles broadly.

Julie laughs, "I hope so." She can't feel anything in her hand, which is a blessing and a curse. But it's not really about feel for her anymore. She could shoot these with both eyes closed and her back to the basket. The problem is the feeling burning in her chest. The pain is not an issue. The shots aren't the issue. The rapid heartbeat and pounding in her ears are the issue. It's the same feeling she felt when she first met Lissa. The feeling she had when she found out Lissa loved her back. And it"s the same feeling she felt when she got Lissa back after losing her. It's that excited, nauseous, sickening, happy feeling.

The referee bounces the ball to her and she dribbles a couple of times to see if it hurts. It does, but only mildly. The first shot goes up and in without problems. The crowd goes nuts. She plants her feet again and the referee bounces the ball back. The second shot travels the rim teasingly and then falls through.Okay, God, don't be playin'.

Her heart starts back up and she takes a deep breath. She shoots a look at Lissa who smiles at her and mouths, "I love you." The referee bounces the ball to her and she dribbles it three times without taking her eyes off Lissa. Without looking at the basket to line up her shot, she shoots the ball using her instinct. As she mouths, "I love you" back, the shot goes up and through the net without touching the rim at all.

As the clock runs down the last two seconds, the bench clears and the players and coaches storm the court. Lissa doesn't move, though, she's frozen in place. As the confetti falls down around her, she can only feel a warm, calm feeling in the center of her chest.This is what it feels like. This is what it feels like to be loved.She smiles to herself and walks towards the court.

Julie is swept off the floor by Coach Allen and hoisted into the air. She screams incoherently at the top of her lungs. Then she starts nodding and screaming, "Yeah, baby!

We're number one! Two in a row!"

Coach Al en puts her down and hugs her tight, crying all the while, "You are one of the toughest, most amazing people I know. I love you like a daughter, Julie. And this couldn't have happened to a better person."

Julie nods, tears in her eyes, "Yeah, it could have, and it did. It happened to you." She smiles at him as he puts his hand on the top of her head and gives her a little shake. In a teary haze, she walks around hugging random teammates and coaches and even media reporters.

Someone hands her a championship t-shirt and she pulls it over her head before asking the guy, "Can I have another one? I want another one." He hands her one and she thanks him before throwing it over her shoulder. She finds her parents in the stands and walks to the edge of the court with her arms held high. With a bubbling laugh she screams, "I love you!"

They wave and scream back. It's then that she turns towards the bench looking for Lissa, but she isn't there. She scans the crowd and sees that Coach Taylor has her in a tight hug.

She watches with a satisfied smile and then someone taps her on the shoulder.

Halley from ESPN is there, "Hi, Julie, can we speak to you a moment?"

"Sure!" she smiles a radiant smile for the camera as she throws an arm around Halley's shoulders, "I just won again!"

Halley laughs, "I know! How does it feel?"

Julie laughs, "Like a billion bucks, Halley! Like a billion, trillion, zillion bucks!"

"You've been through a lot this year personally and you've certainly come out on top.

How do you feel about that?"

Julie laughs heartily, "Nice choice of words!" Halley laughs and Julie shrugs, "I am a champion. My parents are fantastic. I attend a great school with great people and amazing coaches. And I have a girlfriend who loves me. It honestly doesn't get any better than this right here, Halley. It really doesn't."

"Where is your girlfriend, by the way?" Hal ey looks over the crowd behind them and Julie turns as well.

She laughs and points at the milling crowd on the court, "She's in there somewhere."

Julie turns back to the camera with Halley.

"One last question. What are you going to do now? Staying out of trouble, I hope."

I'm gonna get al up in some trouble named Lissa.Julie smiles and pretends to think about it a moment, "I'm going to go into that crowd of people and find my girlfriend and hold onto her and not let go until they make me. After that, I'm going to take that same girlfriend out dancing. Then after that, it'll be tomorrow and I can start calling my girlfriend

'Lissa' instead of 'Coach'." She smiles broadly and shrugs, "And then I'll probably have to do some laundry. But," she holds up her finger as a warning and her smile takes on a devilish quality, "after that, it's anyone's guess."

Halley thanks her and lets her get back to the celebration. When Julie turns around, Lissa is waiting a few feet away with a huge smile on her face.

They stand staring at each other for a few seconds before Julie starts to run towards her. She picks the woman up in her arms and twirls her around. Lissa laughs and wraps her arms around Julie's neck. When they stop twirling and Julie puts her back down, Lissa smiles dizzily, "Well you said you'd do it and you did."

"I told you, ma'." Julie smiles, "I don't lie, ya know."

"Apparently not." She reaches behind herself and grabs Julie's wrist to bring the girl's hand between them, "How's the hand?"

Julie smiles, "It feels no pain right now." She remembers suddenly, "Oh! I got you a shirt." She takes the shirt off her shoulder and holds it up against Lissa, "Perfect fit."Just like us.

Holding the shirt against her body, Lissa smiles, "Thank you! But I didn't get you anything."

"That's okay," Julie pulls the woman against her again, "you can give me something right now." She winks and licks her lips before leaning down, intending to kiss the woman.

Twisting as if they were dancing, Lissa giggles, "Nah." She walks a few steps away from the crestfallen girl and turns, "You know what they say, baby." She stops and runs her tongue seductively over her teeth, "Anticipation…. is good for the soul."

Smiling, she almost yells, "But what about therestof me, damn it?"