SHIPS CompanionSHIP, FriendSHIP, RelationSHIP

- SHIPS CompanionSHIP, FriendSHIP, RelationSHIP

- Midpoint

SHIPS

Companionship, Friendship, Relationship

A Novel by K’Anne Meinel

SmashWords Edition

Published by:

K’Anne Meinel on Smashwords

SHIPS

Companionship, Friendship, Relationship

Smashwords Edition License Notes:

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author’s work.

SHIPS

Companionship, Friendship, Relationship

~ CHAPTER 1 ~

Have you ever met a person that you just were so in synch with? You knew immediately that they were someone special for you? Would you know how lucky you were? Would you know they were the one?

Joan was sitting at the convention, yawning. It’s been a very busy day. Signing prints, shaking hands, listening to conversations until her ears rang. It is already 4 o’clock. One more hour and she is released from this prison. Her manager comes up with another print to be signed. Sitting there at the table she glances around. Her booth comprises a 40’ wall of her various prints. She has more but they wouldn’t fit on a 40’ wall. Her originals fetch six figures sometimes. Most only five figures. More than enough to make her life comfortable and indulge in more painting at her leisure. More paintings meant more prints and more money, a vicious, comfortable cycle.

As it is the end of the day there are less people viewing the various artists prints and collections. Her booth is on a corner at the end of the row. First or last depending on where you started in the convention center. Looking around Joan notices a tall blonde woman viewing the only three originals she brought with her to this show. They are new. Not in the catalogs or on the internet yet. The prints are in the works so she can now sell the originals.

This woman obviously likes what she sees as she is smiling and looks as though she is talking to herself, not aloud but nodding to her own thoughts. Intrigued Joan rises and walks over to the woman. Standing out of the woman’s way but in her line of vision Joan gives her a little smile. The woman turns her full attention on Joan and returns the smile.

“So what do you think?” Joan asks with a little nod towards the three new paintings.

Turning back to them the woman answers “Intriguing. I could get lost in the daydreams that that one creates.” She indicates the one with pink and blue clouds and cream. In fact that’s it’s title: Clouds and Cream.

Remembering it’s creation, Joan nods and examines it too. It does have that effect. You look into it and begin daydreaming immediately. For every person it’s different dreams yet the same effect.

“Good thoughts I hope” Joan answers.

“Very” comes the quick answer.

Looking on to the other prints the woman begins discussing the merits of some. Many seem to interest her. Her knowledge of the prints is very good. She indicates a couple that she has copies of. Chatting with her Joan realizes this woman must be a collector. They talk about almost all the prints displayed before Joan introduces herself.

“I could sign your prints if you’d like” she offers.

Amazed the woman turns to her and says “YOUR the artist?”

Not sure if she should be insulted or not Joan nods and gives a tight little smile.

“How wonderful!” The woman exclaims. “I’ve often wondered about the person behind these creations. I’ve seen your catalog and it makes me want more of them.”

Genuine enthusiasm makes Joan relax. They continue chatting about the various paintings and the stories behind some of them. Examining the woman, Joan wonders what it is about her that makes it so easy to talk about her paintings. A very personal thing to most artists.

Joan looks at her as with an artist’s eye. The woman stands about 5’9”. Her hair is blonde and streaked with lighter blonde. A typical site in California for this time. It looks like she has a nice perm in it. It falls to just below her shoulders. She has the sides pulled back with clips revealing small diamonds in her ears and an ear clip on the left one. She is wearing an off white pantsuit with a baby blue blouse. The blazer fits her beautifully. She carries herself well. Her eyes are brown and twinkling. Her nose long and narrow. Her mouth not too thin but definitely not lush. Her face is lightly made up. She is very easy to talk too. Before Joan realizes it they are announcing over the loudspeakers that the day at the art show is over.

Joan’s manager comes over for a couple of last minute signatures and she complies. The manager then begins to drape their booth with the protective drop clothes. Joan helps and the job is finished quickly. Saying, see ya later, the manager departs. The woman Joan has been speaking with is still standing there watching Joan.

“Would you like to catch a cup of coffee, dinner, or something?” The woman asks.

“I don’t drink coffee or tea either for that matter” Joan grins, “but dinner sounds great!” Nodding her head in approval. She has enjoyed the conversation with this woman over the last hour or so.

The woman introduces herself “I’m Grace Monroe by the way, Dr. Grace Monroe.”

Holding out her hand Joan says “Joan Woods, artist extraordinare.” Startled that she has been talking with a doctor all this time.

Grinning Grace takes her hand, her face lights up in an elfin grin. There is a spark that both of them feel. Neither let’s go but startled glances are exchanged. The tingle goes all the way up their arms. The handshake goes on a moment longer than necessary before they both realize. Turning, they head for the exit at the end of the convention center.

Along the way they chat about other artists and their works. As they reach the parking garage Grace asks “Would you like to take your car or mine? Or would you like to go over to one of the hotels?” Her head indicates towards the Hyatt in front of the convention center entrance.

“I’ve been using taxi’s to get around this time. I’m staying at the hotel” Joan answers.

“Then your probably sick of hotel food. Let me take you to a good restaurant I know.”

Grace leads Joan to a sleek forest green Jaguar coupe. Admiring it, Joan catches Graces eye. Grace is grinning like a Cheshire cat. “My one indulgence” she states. Once more Joan is taken by the elfin grin she sees. Pressing her key button the doors unlock for her and they get in. Grace drives smoothly out of the parking garage and to the payment kiosk. Shaking her head as it cost $10 just for parking she says “What a crime!”. Turning to Joan she explains that a family could never indulge itself going to a convention and having to pay the expensive fees that they require and forget trying to eat there too. It unfortunately keeps the masses away from things like this. The sleek car pulls out onto Harbor Blvd. and away from the convention center. Grace and Joan continue chatting as though they are old friends. They pull into a nice hole in the wall restaurant a few minutes later. “They have great steak” Grace states.

Going inside it’s apparent it’s a reservations only restaurant but Grace is spotted and immediately seated. A lot of “Yes, Doctor, How are you Doctor” goes on as they are seated.

Impressed despite herself Joan asks “They know you?” Her right eyebrow raises a little with the question and the small grin on her face makes the sarcasm funny.

Slightly blushing Grace explains that she knows the owner and his family. That she has helped them periodically.

“What kind of doctor are you?” Joan asks.

“I’m a psychiatrist. I work at U.C. Irvine over in Orange.”

Immediately uncomfortable Joan just sits there. Noting her silence and her obvious distress Grace asks “Is something wrong?”

“No offense, but psychiatrists and psychologist have always made me uncomfortable.”

“Really? Me to. Do you know why?” At Joan’s shake of the head she continues “Well we’ve been talking for over an hour now and you’ve been fine. Is it just the title or something else do you think?” Joan shrugs and tries to relax.

The waiter hurries over and takes their order. Joan orders a salad with no dressing but extra croutons. Then for the main course she orders soup and fruit. Grace orders a steak, baked potato, and green beans.

“You don’t eat meat? she asks Joan.

Joan explains that she has trouble if she doesn’t watch her diet. Sticking to fruits, vegetables, and light meats keeps her system in balance. No weight gain and everything runs smoothly.

With a few glasses of wine Joan relaxes and realized that Grace is probably right. The title psychiatrist is probably what was bothering her. Grace turns out to be a very wonderful person. They talk not only about art but medicine, history, and a variety of other subjects. Before they know it is 8 o’clock. They even had desert but they are tying up one of the tables.

Both are reluctant to end their conversation. Their blooming friendship was something both wish to pursue and it was apparent to both. There was also a subtle tension building in the air. Grace offered a suggestion “I’ve been invited to a party, would you be interested in going?”

“I don’t think I’m properly dressed” Joan responded. Indicating her flowing outfit. She was dressed ‘artsy’. Her brown hair with it’s red highlights was long and flowing to below her waist. She isn’t tall but has a fine figure. High bust with wide shoulders and a muscular look to it. Her waist is trim.

“Believe me, your fine. It’s just some friends of mine and they won’t care if you come half dressed.” Hesitating a moment she added “well, maybe the half dressed part they would mind. But not in a bad way” she mused. They shared a laugh as they walked back to the Jaguar. Chatting about friends and their idiosyncrasies their conversation continued.

Grace headed the Jaguar back down Harbor Boulevard towards the convention center and past it heading in the other direction, further into Anaheim. Pulling through a residential area she parked in front of an old house that had been converted into apartments. You could see people were already there as several were standing on the steps with beers in their hands. As Grace and Joan walked up they parted to let them into the front door of the house. Taking their jackets was a guy that looked vaguely familiar to Joan. Grace led them into the living room to meet their host. People were sitting around on everything available. The couches, the chairs, the tables, a few on the floors. Some were standing and chatting. The room was fairly full.

Suddenly a voice aimed directly at them “GRACE!” A short black headed woman with a very short haircut came towards them. Her face was the palest of white and she wore bright red lipstick. Her black hair was shaved as a man’s on the sides and she had a braided pony tail down the back. Her black hair was matched by black eyes. A very striking person. She was dressed in jeans and a tight sweater. Holding out her arms for a hug she grabbed Grace close. Joan looked on in amusement. Something she had noticed earlier finally making itself clear. Most of the people at this party were or had to be gay. Not that gays give off any strange vibes but just how they were behaving and looked made things apparent to Joan. The woman talking to Grace seemed vaguely familiar. When Grace turned to introduce Joan the woman surprised both of them by interrupting with “JOAN? My god I haven’t seen you in like 20 years!”

Surprised Joan looked closer. Thinking back 20 years to when she would know this woman. Indeed she did know her. They had worked together at a parts supply house.

“JO! Oh my goodness. I never thought I’d see you again. This is your house?” Joanne, a close friend once. One alienated by Joan’s ex-husband.

Grace was amazed that they knew each other. Further explanations revealed how they knew each other, how Grace and Joan had met.

Joanne pulled Joan over to others at the party. She knew several people. Stunned to see them again after so long a time had passed. She saw Tina, Addie, and Ken, the guy who had taken her coat. All gay friends from the parts store. Another friend Tracey who hung out with all of them, straight and wild. Due to her relationship with her ex she hadn’t seen them forever. Thrilled they all talked and caught up. Grace stood back and listened.

Joan explained what she had been up to. She was divorced. Gave up on the parts house as it was a no where job. Went back to school. Raised the boys. There were three of them now. The friends were amazed as Joan had been the least likely to have children. They were all so excited to catch up. As parties go, this one went on and Grace wandered off to different friends and groups. She knew most everyone in the house. During the coarse of the evening Joanne and Joan found themselves alone and talking.

“I always wondered what happened with you.” Joanne stated.

“I looked for you but by the time I was free to do so, I couldn’t find a Joanne Chavez in the book. No one knew where you were either and I couldn’t find the others either.” Joan indicated Tina, Addie, Tracey, and Ken.

“Was it hard?” Jo asked.

Joan immediately knew what she meant. Her marriage to Craig. It had been awful. They were young and Craig somehow made everything her fault. They were poor but he made it worse with his irresponsibility. Nodding in answer she took another gulp of her wine. Looking around for Grace absentmindedly. She saw her ensconced in a very undignified bean bag chair in the corner, surrounded by people all talking loudly.

Jo noted where her eyes had strayed. “You know she’s gay don’t you?”

Turning back to Joanne, Joan answered “Yes, I’d have to be pretty obtuse not to realize that at this point.”

“And you two just met today? Joan nodded. “I thought you were straight?”

“I am.”

“Then what be haps here?”

Smiling at the funky way of asking. Joan shook her head. “I don’t know to be honest. I just don’t know.” Looking again at the corner where Grace was she was in time to catch her eye and exchange a smile. One of those party smiles. Yes, I know where you are, Yes, I’m having a good time too.

It was about 11 o’clock when Grace came searching for Joan. Joan had met some of the most interesting people. Not just the few people she knew but others she had talked with, debated with, exchanged information with. Several were invited down to the convention. It was a relief finally to stop talking. She’d seen Grace around the party too they’d exchanged looks a few times. It was odd how intense those looks were.

“Hey you, are you about ready to go?” Grace asked.

Smiling Joan nodded. They headed for Joanne and a last goodbye. Stay in touch. Don’t let it be so long. Joan gave Joanne and the other four one of her cards with her email address on it. Hugging each of them goodbye.

Grace helped her on with her coat and they walked out of the house. The immediate silence was loud. Almost overwhelming. They got into the car and just sat for a minute.

“That was odd” Grace indicated the house with a nod of her head.

“Yes, wasn’t it though. I haven’t seen those people for ages. I missed them.” Joan answered with a little smile.

“Were you involved with any of them?” Grace asked.

Laughing Joan answered “No, not possible. If you had known my ex you’d understand, we were all just friends at work.”

Joan looked at the house with a nostalgic whistfulness. Remembering the young people she had known then. The adults they had all become. Grace watched her face. Finally Joan turned and looked at Grace. Something seemed to connect between them. Almost an electrical current between their eyes.

Grace leaned forward and lightly kissed Joan on the lips. Joan felt a tug from somewhere below her belly button. She kissed Grace back. Opening their mouths the kiss deepened. Grace raised her hands and cupped Joans face holding her there. Joan raised her own hands and put them on the outside of Graces. Then she slid them along to Graces shoulders and under Graces hair. Pulling her head closer to Joans. They had been kissing heatedly and caressing each other for awhile before Grace pulled her head up.

“For a first kiss that was something.” She panted slightly.

Stunned for a moment, Joan sat there looking deeply into Graces eyes. She had never. She had never, ever, had the thought of being attracted to another woman. But what she was feeling for this woman went beyond normal attraction. She felt it deep inside her. Her whole body was tingling in anticipation. Panting herself, she broke off eye contact, and leaned her forehead on Graces shoulder.

Grace kissed Joan’s forehead and just held her close. She’s shocked, thought Grace. She’s fighting this attraction. I know she feels it. I do too. I felt it at the show. I felt it at dinner. I felt it all through the party. Now, I feel lust like I’ve never felt it before. I want this woman. I NEED this woman. I have to take it slow though. She’s scared. She’s in virgin territory, pardon the pun.

Their breathing returned to normal. The windows on the Jag had all fogged up. Joan pulled her head off of Graces neck and looked into her face. Grace could see the puzzlement but she also could see the wanting in Joans eyes. Let her make the next move Grace thought. And Joan did. She took her hand and caressed Graces jawline. Back and forth. Under Graces ear she lightly tickled with her fingers. Her eyes never left Graces. Joan could read the pleasure on Graces face from the caresses. Grace knew the minute that Joan decided to kiss her again. Heated caresses followed.

A loud noise outside the car attracted their attention. They reluctantly pulled apart. Both were panting. You could smell the want, the need, in the air. Both sat back in their bucket seats. Finally Grace turned to Joan. “Would you like to see my place?”

Joan knew what Grace was asking indirectly. It was a big step. Joan didn’t want to lose this person who had come into her life so suddenly. Not trusting herself to speak, Joan nodded.

Grace started up the Jag and pulled away from the curb after the efficient defogger had cleared the windows. Reaching out she touched Joan’s hand. Joan immediately took Graces hand in hers.

Off Harbor Boulevard she turned onto the 5 freeway heading south. Needing her hand to shift she released Joan’s. Immediately she recaptured it when she was done shifting. They resumed their conversation as though nothing had happened. Grace effortlessly pulled from the 5 freeway onto the 55 heading for Newport Beach where her apartment was located.

She told Joan about her apartment and how she had been fortunate to find it through friends who didn’t want to rent it out for summer rentals as it would get trashed. The money was nice but not the headaches. It was one of several they owned in a row. The apartments were actually on the islands in Newport Bay.

The 55 ended into Costa Mesa and they drove through to Newport Beach and over the bridge onto Balboa Island. Multi-Million dollar homes were on these islands. They were crammed into every available space.

Grace told Joan how lucky she was to live in the boonies as Joan had told her of Wisconsin. Joan lived in a central Wisconsin town called Wausau. She had moved there after her divorce with her three sons. She had a gallery there in an old converted building downtown. Her apartment was upstairs and convenient. Her sons were grown now. Her youngest in college. Her oldest had even made her a grandma last year.

As they drove down a street on the island they came to a security booth. The officer looked up and saw Grace. Waving he pushed a button that opened the gate. They pulled up in front of Graces apartment and she parked the Jaguar. Grace walked up to her front door and unlocked it, opening it she let Joan precede her into the front room. Grace showed her around. To Joans right was a kitchenette to her left the living room. Further into the living room a hallway that led elsewhere. Opening her blinds onto a beautiful water frontage Joan asked about the dock in front of the apartment.

“You have a boat?”

“No, I always wanted one. Just never took the time to actually GET one.” Grace smiled.

Grace went into the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of wine. Holding it aloft to show Joan she silently asked if Joan wanted some. Joan nodded and Grace proceeded to fill two wine glasses full. Carrying the wine bottle under her arm and the two wine glasses in her hands she went to sit on the sofa. Joan joined her there. Grace handed her one of the glasses, a deep emerald green with cuts in the crystal. Joan found her hand was shaking a little. Grace noted that as well.

“Relax.”

“I don’t know why I’m so nervous.” Joan lied.

“Don’t you?” Grace raised her eyebrows in question.

Smiling wryly down in to her glass Joan lifted it for a drink. It ended up being quite a gulp and she almost choked. Coughing and laughing she did indeed relax. They resumed their conversation. The talk was easy and non-invasive. Just two people getting to know one another.

Joan told her about living in CA all those years ago. Repeating some of the story that had been told at the party. She told a very small amount about her disastrous marriage. How she had only been 18 when she married. Her first son born at 19. Her second at 21 and her third at 23. By then the marriage had turned very sour.

“What can I say. I was young, naive, and in love with the idea of a happily ever after marriage. The sad thing is once he drained my bank account he went after my mom’s and once that was gone, so was he.”

“Actually, the happily ever after is what a lot of people dream for. They don’t realize that Cinderella or Snow White probably had stretch marks, that their nails broke washing the castle, and that they got fat with age and children.” They shared a laugh at the image this portrayed.

It was relaxing and the time flew. It was 1:00 before they knew it. For Joan it was even later with the time difference. Stifling a yawn, she put down her empty glass. The wine bottle was now empty with their concerted efforts. Joan realized something right then. Her apparent prejudice against psychiatrists and psychologists was gone or at least against this particular one. Grace was easy to talk to. Not only that, Joan liked hearing what she had to say. It wasn’t judgmental. Her life hadn’t been any easier than Joan’s. She was human. She was real. Looking over at Grace she realized how much she liked this person. How attracted she was to this person. How much she wanted to BE WITH this person.

Grace had been watching Joan throughout the afternoon and evening. Talking with her at the show she immediately sensed Joan’s diverse intelligence. That had drawn her immediately. Her body was attractive as well. She had to be about 5’7”. Just 2” shorter than Grace’s 5’9”. She held herself tall and walked with an easy going gate. Her incredibly long brown hair was held back with clips and it flowed past her waist. The red streaks in it looked natural and were. The clothes she wore flowed along her body. She wasn’t thin by any stretch of the imagination. She was big boned but not fat. Her face was round but well defined with high cheekbones. Dark green eyes were framed by dark brown thick eyelashes and eyebrows. Her nose was cute and not too long. Her lips drew you in. It was her smile though that really made her pretty. Her teeth weren’t perfectly straight. She wasn’t beautiful but when she laughed it made her seem so.

Grace had watched her as they talked all evening. She was unconscious about the flow of her own body movements. Grace thought of this as her artistic movements. Joan would have laughed and called these her autistic movements had she but known Graces thoughts. Grace watched her effortlessly fit into the party and chat with the people she had known. Making new friends from complete strangers. She hadn’t been the life of the party but her diverse interests made her easy to talk to. She drew people to her. A lot of people would have had trouble just fitting in at a strangers party, especially a gay strangers party. Not Joan. It hadn’t troubled her in the slightest.

The more she watched and listened and talked the more aware of the attraction she became. Kissing Joan in the car had scared her. She was scared that she had frightened off this intelligent, amazing, woman. So far though Joan didn’t show any signs of bolting. Grace was determined to proceed with care. She wanted to KNOW this woman, intimately.

Watching her hide the yawn she suddenly realized how late it was for Joan. Apologizing she offered her the couch or the bed, whichever Joan preferred.

Caught off balance she stammered her reply “but I thought, I thought that you...” and she trailed off. Blushing at her apparent misunderstanding Joan turned slightly away.

Realizing that Joan was embarrassed Grace quickly went to reassure her. Leaning over on the couch she caught her by the shoulder and turned her back. Joan’s head rose to look her in the face. “I didn’t want to do anything that you didn’t want to do. Okay?”

Nodding but mute Joan looked for that spark she had seen before. It was there in Graces eyes. Again something seemed to reach out between them. Joan leaned slightly forward and met Grace halfway in a searing kiss. It didn’t end. Before she knew it Joan found herself pushed back on the couch with Grace half over her. She could feel the desire in her own body. Her crotch was wet with it and pulsing. Grace’s beautiful body was pressed against her own and her hands were caressing her. Joan’s own hands were kneading Graces shoulders, pulling at her, sliding down her back to pull her even more on top of Joan. Grace deepened the kisses, drawing a half moan from Joan. Panting heavily Grace pulled back. Looking deep in Joan’s eyes she asked “Are you sure?”.

Joan whispered breathlessly “Very.”

At this Grace stood up, pulling herself up and off Joan. It took a second to get her balance. Looking down at a bewildered Joan she held out her hand and pulled Joan up and off the couch. Planting a kiss on her lips Grace led Joan down the hallway. Her bedroom was decorated with modern furniture. Cold and sterile. A small lamp was switched on by the bedside. Joan could see into a bathroom across from the bed.

Leading Joan to the bedside she took her in her arms and just held her. Joan relaxed in her arms, pulled slightly back and looked up into Graces face. Bending slightly Grace met Joan in a kiss. It wasn’t enough for either of them. Grace quickly began to undress Joan. Joan tried to follow suit but was nervous and inept. Stilling Joans shaking hands, Grace put the hands on Grace’s body in mute appeal for caresses. This Joan did understand, want, and could do. Swiftly Grace took off Joan’s flowing blouse. Underneath was a satin push up bra. Surprised at this Grace took the time to kiss along the top of Joan’s breasts. Throwing the blouse to a chair, Grace unhooked the bra from in front and Joan’s breasts spilled out into Graces face. Grace buried her nose between them.

Joan was watching with a detached air. She wasn’t sure what to do with herself. Grace obviously knew what she was doing and Joan tried to follow her lead. Joan’s hesitant hands on Graces body was doing more than Joan realized. Grace was already losing control. She took deep breathes and calmed herself. She didn’t want to scare Joan at the intensity of her passion. Not yet. Not when it was all so new to Joan.

“Are you all right?” Joan asked.

“Yes, it’s just that I want you. Immensely. But I don’t want to frighten you.” Grace breathed in her ear.

“It’s all right, I’m not frightened. If something doesn’t feel right, I’ll let you know.”

With that Grace felt much better and began raining kisses down Joans neck and chest, leading to her breasts that were spilt out of the bra. Pulling the bra off the rest of the way, Grace threw it on the blouse. Reaching for Joan’s pants fastener Joan stopped her. Grace looked up to see the desire flooding Joan’s eyes. Joan reached to remove the blazer that Grace was wearing. That too wound up on the chair. Joan gently began unfastening the buttons to Graces baby blue blouse, a lot more competent and not shaking now. Her fingertips grazed Graces flesh. Pushing the blouse off her shoulders the whole thing was stopped because they hadn’t unfastened the buttons at the wrists. Grace was effectively trapped in her own blouse. Joan’s shoulders began to shake with laughter. After a moment of frustration, Grace joined her in laughing at their predicament. This eased the tension a bit and relaxed both of them. Pulling the blouse back on she quickly released her wrists and threw off the blouse. After a moments hesitation Joan unfastened the bra holding in Graces breasts. This too was discarded. Joan stopped, uncertain and nervous. Grace lifted her chin with one finger and gently kissed her, which soothed her fears, igniting more of her passion. Joan wasn’t sure how this immense attraction had come about but she wanted this woman more than she could bear. In short order they were both standing there naked. Joan shyly looked everywhere but AT Graces body. Grace had no qualms and looked lustfully over Joan’s.

Pulling her in for an embrace, Grace could feel the tension in Joan’s body. The unfamiliarity of a woman’s body was scaring her, despite her wantings. Grace soothed her with gentle caresses. Nothing intimate. Just gentle caresses. Soon Joan was returning those caresses and reaching to Grace for a kiss. Joan surprised Grace with the intensity of the passion that came with that kiss. Grace wondered if Joan was as aware of what she was doing as Grace was. She didn’t think so. The caresses became more fevered and gently intimate. They both wanted it, they craved it. The first touch below her navel had Joan making small moaning noises, unaware how inflaming they were, they coincided with her harsh breathing from the kisses they were exchanging. Graces hand circled lower to Joan’s lower hair. Definitely red in color, her fingers stretched through it, touching lightly. Joan took her own hand and pressed Graces harder against her crotch, slightly grinding it in, her hips pushing against the hands. Surprised, Grace granted her wish.

At the first touch of her clit Joan’s knees began to buckle. Grace lowered her to the bed and began making love to her in earnest. No hesitation. Determined caresses meant to arouse her. Joan was nibbling along Graces shoulder but she actually bit her when Grace touched her wet crotch. Moaning in a pleading sort of way, Joan was on fire. Grace set out to put more fuel on the fire by placing a finger inside of her and moving slowly. Joan bucked up at that hand. Two fingers and she was moaning, shamelessly. Grace knew her own crotch was wet from these goings on. She placed Joan’s other hand on her own crotch and cringed a little at how zealously Joan imitated her. Slowing her down a little to an even rhythm had them both in ecstasy. Grace came quickly. She knew her body well and knew the desires that had been building all night. She captured Joan’s mouth again with her own and deepened the kisses, deeply her tongue plunged, imitating her fingers. She could tell by the gushing moisture on her hand and the moans coming from Joan how close she was to a climax. Grace captured Joan’s scream in her mouth as she came. Grace didn’t stop the rhythm though. She continued until Joan had come a second time. Little cries followed for a time. Grace was amazed at the power of Joan’s climax. Smiling to herself at what she had caused, she lay down next to her, kissing her breasts and her mouth, in a thank you. Soothing caresses followed. Not wanting to frighten her by doing other things to her, Grace decided not to proceed any further tonight.

When their breathing had returned to normal, Grace rose and went to the bathroom to clean up. As she had left so abruptly, Joan was confused. She laid there stunned. Her own insecurities surfaced and she thought she had done something wrong. Joan was about to follow to the bathroom when Grace returned with a warm wash cloth. She proceeded to wash between Joan’s leg’s much to her mortification. Joan reached for the cloth to finish and Grace let her knowing she needed to adjust. Joan was surprised and then embarrassed at the amount of cum that she was cleaning up. It seemed to be never ending. Finally she rose to go to the bathroom and finish cleaning herself.

Shyly returning to the bedroom she saw that Grace had pulled off the bedspread and pulled down the sheets. She was unselfconsciously naked as she adjusted the pillows. Joan watched her from the bathroom door. Grace looked up and with her hand invited her into the bed. Hesitating only slightly, Joan joined her. Grace pulled her into an embrace with Joan’s head resting on her shoulder. They snuggled together.

“Any regrets?”

Moving slightly to face up to her Joan replied “No, should there be?”

“That depends on you actually. I don’t have any.”

“I don’t think I do either.”

Smiling, Grace leaned over and kissed her gently. Laying there together, holding each other was just so nice. Both became drowsy.

“Grace, I must tell you something.”

Instantly awake and looking for her regrets Grace let Joan rise up. “What?”

Her face a mixture of emotions Joan was looking down at her hands. They were entwined with Graces in a hand hold. Disentangling them, Joan took a deep breath and blurted “I’ve never had a climax before.” Her faced flushed with her confession. She looked up to Grace and noted the amazement in her expression.

“Never?” She asked in astonishment. The passion that this woman had shared with her made that statement sound like a lie.

Joan shook her head. Her face was darker if possible with embarrassment.

“But you were married for seven years, you said.”

Nodding in agreement Joan looked back down in mortification. “I know I’ve been close several times but never actually made it over the mountain.”

Blown away at this news, Grace could only stare. Pulling herself together she realized how vulnerable this woman was who lay in her bed. “Not even by yourself?”

Shaking her head Joan looked up. Grace could see the hurt that this news had inflicted on this woman. Reaching over, Grace again took her hands in hers and said “Hey, this isn’t ANYTHING to be ashamed of, okay? I can tell you I KNOW for a fact that it couldn’t possibly be your fault. After what you just showed me you never need to convince me that you can’t orgasm. You may not know it but that was pretty powerful stuff.”

Looking up to see if she was just being placated, Joan smiled. Returning it, Grace again pulled her against her chest, kissing her on the way down, cuddling her close. They both drifted off to sleep.

~ CHAPTER 2 ~

Joan awoke to the smell of coffee brewing. She loved that smell, just couldn’t drink the stuff. She looked around the room, waking up. Something she hadn’t noticed the night before was one of her prints on the wall near the bathroom. Something you could look at directly from the bed. Struggling to sit up, her hair had her trapped and it took a moment to rock until she could sit up and not press down on the length. She looked at the print critically. She’d done better but this one was nice. She wondered what it did for Grace that she had purchased it. Grace. Suddenly everything from the previous day came back to her. Should she be ashamed? No, she wasn’t. A noise from the doorway caught her attention and Grace walked in carrying a tray.

“What’s this?” she asked Grace with a smile.

“Thought you might be getting hungry.”

“You didn’t have to bring it to me in bed, I’d have gotten up.”

“Well, I thought I’d let you sleep a little longer. You said you didn’t have to be there until 10.”

Remembering the show kind of put a damper on things in Joan’s mind. Grace placed the tray across Joans lap as Joan pulled the blanket up to cover herself. Sitting on the edge Grace handed Joan a glass of juice and some toast.

“I wasn’t sure what you’d like and I’ve noticed you eat very light”

“This is fine.” Joan was staring down at her toast which she then took a bite out of.

Grace watched her over her cup of coffee. She wasn’t sure if Joan was regretting her seduction of the previous night. She was sure there had to be something bothering her.

Grace’s intense brown eyes bothered Joan. She wasn’t sure what protocol was after making love that intensely. She did feel a bit awkward. She also felt grateful. Grace had shown her that she wasn’t frigid. She could respond. A lot of self doubts had been dispelled by Grace the previous night. With the self doubts gone a new confidence was born. Taking a grip on that Joan returned Graces look. Still she didn’t like it that those brown eyes could seem to stare into her soul.

“What time does the convention go until today?” Grace broke the silence that had fallen.

“6:00.”

“A long day eh?”

“Very.”

Tired of one word answers, Grace tried again “Is something wrong?”

“No, I just really don’t feel like going back to the convention center. It gets boring. It’s nice for the adoration and to hear the feedback, but the slow times are awful.”

Relieved at this answer Grace tried another tack “Did you have plans for this evening?”

“No, did you have something in mind?”

“Well, if you’d like we could go out to dinner again or something...” This time Grace looked down into her coffee, seemingly unsure.

“I’d like that.”

Grace looked up and she and Joan exchanged a smile. Reaching out hesitantly Joan squeezed Graces hand. It accomplished a lot, it broke the ice. They had no trouble finishing their breakfast and chatting about other things.

Grace offered Joan the shower first while she did the dishes and cleaned up breakfast. Joan felt weird using the bathroom but then what else could she do. If she waited to use the one back at her hotel room she might be late for the convention.

They drove to the hotel so that Joan could change her clothes. Grace agreed to meet her later after the convention for dinner. Joan hurried to change and run across to the show. She arrived 5 minutes before showtime. Her manager was there removing the last of the covering sheets.

The day went very quickly. More people came as it was a Saturday and they were off work. Sales and inquiries were brisk and her manager handled them well. She got writers cramp from signing works as well as autographs. Answering the same old questions about her works and the stories behind them helped things flow. By 2:00 she was starving and her manager went to get them sandwiches. She was gone an hour. Coming back she apologized but explained that she had spoken with a promotions group about Joan doing a tour. Joan didn’t care she was starving, she wolfed down her sandwich between customers. By 4:00 it had slowed down to a trickle. Hiding a yawn, Joan looked up to see Grace standing in front of the booth watching her. Smiling in response Joan stood up to join her.

“Hi there. I thought we were going to meet in front of my hotel?”

“I couldn’t wait anymore. I was bored and wanted to SEE you.”

“That’s very sweet of you. Aren’t you getting bored hanging around here?”

“Actually I’m enjoying myself immensely. I never take time off to look at art. I know your not off until 6 but I thought I’d wander around until then.”

Eager to spend time with Grace, Joan sensed the same eagerness about her. It wasn’t the sex. It was something tangible. They just connected, understood, enjoyed each other. It showed in both their body language as well as their demeanor.

Teasing she answered “You mean you’d actually buy someone else’s work?”

Teasing back she said “Well if I found something I liked....”

“Well!” in a huffy sort of voice then she laughed. Grace joined in.

“I’ll see you later okay?”

“Have fun” Joan watched her walk away, wistfully.

Her manager came up and asked about Grace “Is she interested in some of your work?”

“Yes, she already has a couple of works but we’ve been discussing the other’s”

“A hard sale eh?” The manager smiled knowingly. That’s the thing about these shows. A lot of lookey-loo’s but few real buyers. Now and then you got a run but not enough it ever seems for all the bother that has been put into the show. Fortunately Joan’s work was well known and it brought people in. Her sales figures were good but some artist’s were lucky to sell one or two paintings if at all. Joan’s success came from a good marketing program. Her paintings were made into prints, catalogued, on the web, and were sought after by quite a few collector’s. She was always grateful that she didn’t have to die to make her paintings valuable. A downright shame that those who died didn’t get to enjoy the fruits of their labor.

6 o’clock came quickly. Joan was talking with the promotions director who wanted to show her work around the country. Maybe, even the world. A tour of sorts. Her manager, Madge was covering up the last of the art as Joan continued her discussion with Allan. Allan was sure with her marketing tools already in place, her distribution which was handled jointly by her gallery in Malibu and Wausau, they could do wonderful things together. He was a born salesman. He had Joan enthused as well. He gave her some good ideas to think about. Leaving him, Joan turned to walk down the aisle. She saw Grace leaning against a pylon watching her. Smiling she walked up to her.

“Hi” she enthused.

“Hi” Grace returned.

“You won’t believe who that was I just talked to” Joan was excited and it showed. She explained as they turned to walk out. Telling her everything that Allan had told her and proposed. Going on with her own ideas. They reached the hotel when Joan finally ran out of things to say. Turning to Grace she noted that she seemed a bit relieved.

“Something wrong?” she asked.

“No, for awhile there I thought that you were accepting a date from that guy.”

Confused Joan looked around “What guy?”

“That Allan somebody. I can see I was wrong though.” Grace felt stupid. She had no claim on Joan. Yet the feelings she had had for this woman in the past 24 hours made her feel as though she did.

“Allan isn’t my type” Joan answered with a laugh. Linking her arm through Graces they went through the hotel door laughing together. In the lobby Grace dropped Joan’s arm almost immediately. With questions in her eyes Joan turned to look at her with her right eyebrow raised “What?”

“I’m not demonstrative in public” Grace answered a little tightly. Blushing.

“Oh. I guess I thought you had come out of the closet?”

“I have, but I see no reason to inflict my life choices on the public. They are uncomfortable with it and I just don’t do that” she answered shrugging off the explanation as though it didn’t really mean anything.

“Do you really care what people think?” Joan was embarrassed. She didn’t understand. This was all new to her and she was afraid to make a mistake. She thought she had made one now.

“It isn’t a matter of what people think. No, I don’t care if they know I’m gay. I do not however wish to wear a badge proclaiming it. I’m not going to be a poster child for gay’s.”

Understanding a little at least, Joan let the matter drop. Suggesting they eat in the hotel’s fine restaurant, she led the way.

The meal was excellent. Starving most of the day, Joan ate more than she usually did. Ordering a table wine that she knew, she ended up drinking over half of it herself. She was in an excellent mood.

Grace was afraid she had insulted Joan in some way and tried to explain her position better. She had known most of her adult life that she was gay. She had dated a couple of guys in high school and college, even had two proposals but it never felt right. Her first relationship with a woman had ended badly as the girl had just been experimenting and tried to draw Grace into a threesome with her boyfriend. Her next couple of relationships had become just friendships as nothing really seemed to last. She had been alone a number of years without a sexual partner but with a lot of friends. One friendship had ended sourly when they competed for a job in the hospital. She wasn’t promiscuous. She didn’t want to march in the parades proclaiming her sexuality. She was a quiet person. Then she had met Joan. It was odd that it was happening all so quickly. She sensed it was right. In her logical doctor’s mind, she couldn’t make logic out of this so far. She explained all this to Joan as well as she could.

Joan listened. She didn’t condemn in any shape, manner, or form. She was very drawn to this doctor. A doctor in a profession that made her uncomfortable. Most psychiatrists she had had the misfortune to meet had seemed judgmental, superior, or condescending. It had made her so very uncomfortable. Perhaps she had just met the wrong type. Grace however listened, actually listened to everything. She didn’t criticize. She didn’t judge. She offered sound advice when asked. They had been talking a lot in the 24 hours since they met. Had it only been 24 hours? She still couldn’t believe it. This beautiful, brilliant, woman was interested in her.

By the end of the meal Grace’s worry was smoothed away. Perhaps Joan was still a little naive about the relationship, but she knew she wanted to know Grace better. She was grateful for the confiding that had occurred. That took a lot of trust.

Grace didn’t remember what she had eaten. At the end of the meal she suggested that she head home. Startled, Joan objected. She pointed out that Grace had had a lot to drink and shouldn’t really drive. Since Grace didn’t remember what she had drank, she agreed upon seeing that the bottle was nearly empty. She didn’t feel drunk but better to be safe. Joan suggested that they go up to her suite. She signed the bill and they walked to the bank of elevators.

Joan’s suite was modestly furnished. You entered a living room with a sofa and a TV. The bedroom and bathroom were through a double doorway in one wall. The living room had a small mini-bar and refrigerator. Drinks were $5. Joan threw her card key on the bar and called room service for some drinks. Asking Grace her preference she placed the order. Grace sat on the couch and Joan sat next to her. Before they knew it, between the drinks and their conversation, it was midnight. Regretfully, Grace rose to leave. Joan asked her to stay. Joan lent her the hotel bathrobe to change into. They spent the night getting to know each other more. Just holding each other and talking neither slept until after 2.

Grace awoke at 6 as was her custom to find Joan’s arm and leg thrown over her in sleep. Slipping out from under she adjusted the robe and headed for the bathroom. Coming out she watched Joan sleep for awhile, marveling at finding this person, hoping it would continue in her life. Grace turned on the coffee maker in the suite and prepared it. The smell of percolating coffee awoke Joan. Smiling at Grace’s “Good Morning” she stretched. Cracks issued from her back, neck, and legs. Loudly. Grace grimaced at the painful noise. Joan totally relaxed on the bed and then pulled herself to a sitting position. She proceeded to stretch her arms and legs, pulling one leg and then the other to awkward positions. Grace watched shaking her head.

“Doesn’t that hurt?”

“No, I’m just getting out all the kinks. One more day of sitting too long and I’ll need a cane” she laughed.

“Tiresome are they?”

“Well, they are my bread and butter. I’m not complaining, but if I have to explain the meaning of one more painting, or what motivated me...!”

“It’s usually the ones that don’t understand that ask that don’t they?”

“Nope, unfortunately. You’d think it was...and you never know who you are talking to so you dare not insult them at all....” Joan rolled her eyes. Then, finished with her contortions, she leapt out of bed. Dizzy for a second, she stood there, blinking.

Alarmed, Grace reached to steady her.

“I’m okay, just my morning routine. I’ll be better after I eat something.”

“Want me to order?”

“Yes, if you would. Order whatever you want. I need a shower to wake up”

Grace gave her a quick kiss and turned back to the living room and the phone. Joan headed into the shower, shedding her nightgown as she went.

Joan took so long in the bathroom that Grace signed for breakfast and tipped the room service guy. She never knew how much to tip them. Then she saw the total on the bill, $32 for breakfast? She almost hit the roof. When Joan came into the room, all steamy from the shower, Grace apologized emphatically at the cost. Joan waited until she was done and then explained it was all part of her show expenses, not to worry. Shaking her head Grace started eating.

With Joan all dressed, they were both ready to go by 8. There were two hours to kill before Joan needed to get to the convention. A newspaper was delivered with the breakfast so they sat reading together. Grace even did the New York crossword puzzle. In pen of all things. Joan could contribute a little bit but just shook her head at most of it. She didn’t enjoy crossword puzzles. She preferred that people thought some of her art was a puzzle. Figuring that out was much more fun.

They agreed to meet again and go out after the convention that evening. Tonight it would be over by 4. Joan watched as Grace got in her Jaguar and drove away. The day sped by even quicker than the previous day. Joan spent the ‘down’ time talking with Allan about possibilities for her tour. It would take a long time to iron out the details and she enjoyed talking with him. At 3:30 Joan was talking with a buyer when she felt an odd tingling on the back of her neck. Looking up and around she spotted Grace watching her from the corner of her booth. Madge was talking with her and Grace was pretending to be enthused with the three newer pieces.

The last half hour of the show was spent in taking down the booth. Since it was the last day, many of the pieces were taken by buyers who didn’t want things shipped to them. Two of the three new pieces were sold as well. Joan was happy with this show. Bored, but happy. She eagerly looked forward to her evening with Grace. The last pieces were boxed and placed in Madges truck to be taken back to the Malibu gallery. Madge’s assistant Amy would re-stock the ones they had sold and shelve the ones they hadn’t.

Joan and Grace went to the Jaguar and decided to go to a movie. They stopped at a fast food place first and Joan actually ate a hamburger and fries. The only thing she really enjoyed was the shake which she claimed coated her stomach. The rest actually nauseated her. The movie they saw was a comedy and they both enjoyed themselves. They couldn’t talk during the movie but they did discretely hold hands. The tension seemed to be building. In the car after the movie Grace leaned over and gave Joan a kiss. Wondering at it’s significance Joan pulled back.

Confused Grace looked at her “You don’t want me to kiss you?”

“No, it isn’t that. I was just wondering if you weren’t afraid someone might see us.”

Sighing and shaking her head Grace pulled Joan’s head towards her and kissed her again. Deeply, passionately she kissed until Joan was nearly breathless.

“There. You see, I don’t care what other’s see.” Grace picked up the conversation. “I just don’t wish to make everyone, including us, uncomfortable. Okay?”

“Are you giving me a goodbye kiss?” Joan asked, suddenly afraid.

“Goodbye?” Grace was startled. “What do you mean goodbye?”

“Well, you know I’m supposed to leave tomorrow.”

“No, I didn’t realize that” she answered disappointment clearly showing in her voice. “Can’t you stay a few more days?”

“You want me to?” Joan asked hopefully.

“Well, of course I want you to. Silly.” Grace was playing with the ends of Joan’s waist length hair with one hand and holding her hand with the other. She knew she didn’t want this weekend to come to an end. Three days was not enough.

Smiling Joan answered “I could be persuaded.”

Looking at her smiling face Grace raised her hands to Joan’s face and cradled it. Pulling gently she kissed her again and again, drawing a response instantly. Only when she could no longer breathe normally herself did Grace pull away. She pulled Joan’s head to her chest to hold her close. Awkward over the gear shift.

“I guess I can stay until Wednesday” Joan breathlessly whispered.

“Stay with me?” Grace asked.

“I’ll have to check out tomorrow.”

“That’s fine” Grace let Joan up and they looked into each other’s eyes. Searching for answers from unspoken questions. Both were satisfied with what they were reading there.

Grace started the car and headed down the road towards the freeway. She explained that she would have to go into work tomorrow but that Joan could use her car if she wanted. Not wanting to impose, Joan refused but said she would check out of the hotel and take care of some of the details from the show. She didn’t mention that she would have to drive to Malibu to do so though as she knew Grace would insist on her using the Jaguar.

The next three day’s sped by. Grace worked on Monday and Tuesday. Joan hired a car and a driver and went to Malibu on Monday. They drove into Anaheim and she checked out of the hotel then he drove her to Malibu. She worked out the details from the show and helped to fill a few orders that needed signatures. Driving back down from Malibu took more than the usual hour plus because of traffic. The driver dropped her off on Balboa in front of Grace’s place.

Grace answered before she had finished knocking. Helping her in with her bags which were dropped instantly Grace pulled her into her arms and kissed her hard. Laughing and pulling away Joan looked at the disarray Grace was in. She had been home waiting for Joan for hours. Had missed her. Not knowing where or when she would be there had bothered her. They had made sweet love the night before but both Grace and Joan were in the flush of this new relationship. Eager to see where it would take them. They ended up in bed again that night before they had even eaten dinner. Grace reluctantly went to work extracting a promise that Joan would be around by 5. Grace gave her an extra key to the place.

While Grace was at work on the second day, Joan decided to take a jog. Changing into sweat pants and a sports bra, she walked from Joan’s place to the beach and bike path where she began to jog. She jogged for a couple of miles before she realized that she could well and truly become lost if she wasn’t careful. She walked back looking for something familiar. Relieved to see where she had come on the beach she spent most of the afternoon walking around Grace’s neighborhood looking at houses that she could see, going to the docks where they were open, a lot of them were private and unavailable. By the time 5pm rolled around she had spent most of the day out doors and it showed. Her face was tanned darker, her skin was flushed from jogging and walking briskly. She felt she needed a shower and headed for Grace’s apartment. Grace pulled up in her Jaguar as Joan walked up. Surprised to see her dressed the way she was and standing there Grace got out of the car.

“Hey there”

“Hi, watcha been up to?”

“Jogging on the beach. Spying at your neighbor’s houses. They are beautiful” Joan swung her arm to indicate the crackerboxes that lined the street.

“I didn’t know you jogged.”

To Joan this just showed how much more the needed to get to know one another. They went into the apartment together, discussing their day. Grace had had a schizophrenic patient come into the hospital where she worked. Without giving too many details which would violate patient doctor relationship, she gave some highlights. To Joan it was kind of scary the people that Grace dealt with. Definately not her career choice.

They ate in that night and played cards. Grace turned out to be a fiend for poker. She couldn’t bluff Joan though. Joan explained that she had played with her boys for years to stimulate their minds. She spoke of her son’s so lovingly. Telling Grace about each one, the pride in her voice was unmistakable.

They were still talking about Joan’s sons when they went to bed. Grace sensed the homesickness coming from Joan and just held her. They watched the news together and Joan drifted to sleep in Grace’s arms.

Joan awoke first. Looking at Grace for the longest time she tried to figure out what the heck was she doing here in this woman’s bed. She never would have thought she was gay. Never an inkling. Something though about this woman stirred her. It wasn’t just that she had given her orgasms. The sex alone didn’t draw her. Talking with her just was enough. Then being held by her was just so comforting. She wanted to give so much to this woman. It was strange. The attraction though was unmistakable. Was this what if felt like to fall in love? Joan didn’t know and didn’t want to jinx things by thinking too much on that subject. She was enjoying her extended stay. Was so glad to have met Grace. She had to leave that evening on a plane out of John Wayne Airport. She wished she could stay longer but had commitments to attend to. She missed her boys. She missed her home studio. She missed painting. It had been weeks preparing for this show and other work that she hadn’t had time to paint. She had a lot of ideas in her sketch book that she kept in her purse. Her purse was the size of most peoples briefcases. Hers kept pencils and the pad as well as her wallet and checkbook. Whenever she had a moment she’d sketch a little. She hadn’t had many moments during the show. She thought about a few of the idea’s that had come during and after the show. Her idea’s for paintings came at the oddest of times, she never knew when they would come and didn’t hesitate to stop whatever she was doing to quickly sketch them down. She was looking absentmindedly at the her print on Grace’s wall when Grace woke up and quietly watched her.

Sitting up beside Joan she started to massage Joan’s back. Startled Joan turned to look at her but Grace pushed her shoulders straight and continued the massage. After awhile she pushed Joan down onto the bed and the massage continued down her legs, calves, feet, even her butt. She felt as though she were melting she was so relaxed. As she massaged, Grace was thinking. She had a few weeks coming to her at UCI for vacation time. Perhaps she could visit Joan in Wisconsin for two of those weeks. Pursue this relationship. See where it would take them. She knew that this one was different. She could feel it. Joan herself was different. Unconsciously her hands stopped massaging and started enticing as her thoughts turned to Joan.

Joan felt herself becoming aroused. It was easier the more she made love to this beautiful woman. She had opened up feelings within Joan that she hadn’t known existed. For that alone she was grateful. It wasn’t just gratitude though and Joan knew it. She too knew that this relationship might well be very special. It certainly wasn’t just friendship, especially with Grace’s hand coming so close to her crotch. Her breathing changed, it became a panting as she anticipated the things that Grace would do to her. She still wasn’t confidant enough to take the upper hand.

Grace knew exactly what she was doing. She enjoyed making love to Joan. Joan’s responses were so real and unrehearsed. Her naiveté was exciting. She didn’t get squeamish. She didn’t play coy. She was real. Grace liked teaching her what her body could do. She’d like Joan to try the same things on Grace. Grace thought about introducing her toys to the relationship but felt it was too soon. That enjoyment could come later. Perhaps when Joan was more confidant.

They spent the morning in bed making love to each other. Joan was certain that a part of her had died and gone to heaven. Grace was certain that she didn’t want to lose this spectacular woman out of her life. She discussed the possibility of visiting in two weeks time. Joan jumped at the idea and invited her to stay with her at her studio. They discussed it avidly even as they showered together and dressed for the day. Joan packed and they hauled the suitcase and overnight bag to the Jaguar.

They spent the afternoon shopping in Fashion Island, a mall in Newport Beach. It gave off a sense that you had to dress up to even shop there. It was snobbery at it’s best. They enjoyed window shopping, occasionally stopping to admire and discuss different clothing. Joan definitely was drawn to the flowing blouses with an artsy feel. Grace liked business suits that were very effeminate. It was 3 o’clock before either of them realized that they hadn’t eaten. They stopped by a little bistro and had lasagna, garlic bread, and salad. Joan ate most of the salad and gave half her lasagna to Grace who tried but couldn’t finish it. They both drank mineral water as Grace would have to drive later and Joan didn’t want to get tipped before flying. Her plane was due to leave at 5. The last one she could catch to O’Hare and then transfer to one to Central Wisconsin. She’d get in about 11. A long tiresome trip.

Both were reluctant to end their afternoon but as 4 approached they found themselves heading for the car. Nothing purchased. Grace said that she had never done that before. She had never gone to the mall just to window shop. Joan in turn told her how she had kept the boys amused by doing that very thing at the malls, playing I wish, I dream. Sometimes at Christmas the boys would even get what they wished and dreamed about.

Grace parked the car in the parking garage and leaned over to give Joan a goodbye kiss. Before either one of them knew it it had lasted 5 minutes. Neither wanted it to end. They took Joan’s bags to check-in and Grace walked with Joan to the gate. Joan knew Grace didn’t want a public showing. They announced the flight 15 minutes later. Joan had to go. Grace gave a goodbye hug and whispered “two weeks” in her ear. Squeezing her hands as she let go, Joan got in line with the other first class passengers. One last look saw Grace waving. Joan lifted her hand and was gone.

~ CHAPTER 3 ~

That night when Joan finally got in she was met at the plane by her oldest son Craig. Smiling in greeting he gave her a hearty hug. Kissing her on the cheek he had to bend to do so. Craig stood over 6’5”. A tall blonde man he had Joan’s smile and bright blue eyes. Taking her overnight bag he walked with her to the baggage claim.

“Tough trip?” He asked solicitously.

“Naw, same ole same ole. Just tiring.”

“Well according to Yoshi the orders are coming in. You’d better plan on another catalog next year.”

“Oh yea?” she challenged him.

“I’ve got new ideas too for the portfolio. Your doing well and so am I” Craig answered cheekily. He knew his mother. She demanded hard work but nothing she wouldn’t do herself. In school she wanted A’s but wasn’t too upset if he got B’s. God forbid there were ever C’s. The one time in high school he did get a C was in Spanish. They both suffered through a 3 week Berlitz class to learn it. Not only learn it but master it so they both spoke it like they were born to it. He didn’t let another C show on his report card until his senior year in college. By then it was too late for her do anything. It had been in women’s studies and instead she teased him mercilessly about it. It still could bring chuckles around the dining table when she chose.

Last year Craig had come to work for his mother. He handled her investment portfolio and they had started the Wood’s Foundation. It was all his mother’s money. Again feeling that he wouldn’t dare fail her with a C his work showed all A’s. He had quadrupled the money placed in his hands. The investments were carefully screened by both of them to insure that they made money. Next year they would donate over one million through the Wood’s Foundation to needy causes to keep his mother from paying it out in taxes. Craig was clever that way. If his mother wanted to she could have stopped working and lived off the interest alone from her portfolio with room to spare. Anyone who knew Joan Woods though, knew she wouldn’t stop working. The foundation was a new challenge to Craig. He worked with a seasoned advisor that his mother had found and they were both paid well to administer things for his mother.

The only fly in the ointment thus far had been Craig’s wife Jane who though he should be earning more as it was HIS mother and she didn’t appreciate him enough. Jane thought that Joan was taking advantage of their relationship. Jane didn’t understand.

Mom had worked hard all of Craig’s life to pay off the bills that her husband had accumulated. He was forever stealing from her. When finally he was gone out of their lives Mom had had to work doubly hard to support three growing boys. Her art had been her only relaxation and that had been rare. Still after a few years she managed to save $500 a month to be put towards investments. She let the boys pick and choose. Together they all learned to invest wisely. A few didn’t pan out and they learned from those. The money was too hard to come by to be wasted. Studying the companies that they would invest in was a sound idea. As they learned they made fewer mistakes. When the boys were old enough they worked paper routes for extra money. Any money from the stocks was reinvested until they had a sizable portfolio. Selling at the right time gave them more money to work with. Then Mom’s paintings had begun to sell. As she became more confidant they became better and better and sold for more. The first time mom made five figures on a painting they celebrated by putting the money down on a townhome. A few years later they had enough to buy a real house. Investments in real estate yielded even greater gains and they happened to come across a foreclosure that required them to put their own sweat into fixing it up. This led to other foreclosures. One of them was the Mailbu Gallery. Joan had hung onto that one after they fixed it up and began displaying her work professionally. It had caught on. She became well known enough that she didn’t need to work outside the home. She had a studio in their home and was there when the boys came home from school. She helped them on their paper routes, was there for their homework, went to all their school activities.

When Craig turned 14 it was decided that they would move out of California. The climate wasn’t healthy for the money they were earning. The taxes were atrocious and secretly Joan was glad as she didn’t like the kids that were hanging out with her boys. They sold their house and kept the Malibu gallery as well as a couple of rentals. It was decided that they would move back to Wisconsin where Joan had grown up. Joan had friends there that welcomed them back. Joan’s parents were divorced and both had died at this point. She had no other family but her boys. She found an old building downtown in Wausau that they fixed up for her showroom. It had an apartment that they rented out upstairs. They found themselves a house in the country with a barn and horses, ducks, cats, and dogs. For awhile there was even a llama that they took backpacking with them. The boys grew up happy and healthy. Joan had her art. Several of her friends tried to fix her up but she either wasn’t interested or they weren’t when they found she had three growing boys. She was content to spend time alone. Lonely, but content. She filled her days by watching the animals, painting, enjoying her boys. When her youngest was 18 and entering college she sold the farmhouse and moved into the apartment over her gallery showroom. She turned the loft portion of the apartment into her very own studio with skylights lighting it. The only problem was that she was always at work.

Craig was married right out of college to his high school sweetheart Jane. Adam and Bryan were both in college and came home only occasionally. Joan had her friends but she was terribly lonely. She poured out her feelings into her artwork and as a result it was incredible work. Beautiful pieces were turned out by her hand. Paintings of such heartfelt angst came to people. They thought they knew her as a result. “One of this centuries greatest artists” had been said. Joan knew better. She could paint even better. Her business acumen had made her wealthy. Her paintings had made her even wealthier, and famous. Her children were happy and healthy. She was alone. It was all she had until she met Grace.

Craig had wanted to go to business college from little on. Joan hoped she hadn’t influenced him. She wanted him to be happy in his chosen work. She had paid for his college education cheerfully. She had let him go summers to finish early and then he had topped it off with a masters. He had been offered jobs on Wallstreet. He chose instead to work with his mother. He had taken their money and done beautiful things with it. When he increased the already enormous portfolio she was impressed. When he came to her with the idea of the foundation he won her over. Now he handled it all for her. Nothing was purchased or given away without her knowledge but she knew she could trust him. She paid him handsomely as a result.

Jane thought it should be more. What she didn’t know is that he took much of his earnings and bought stock for them along with his mother’s so that they could buy larger amounts. He refrained from mentioning this to Jane. She lived comfortably, she shouldn’t have any complaints. He loved her and gave her all his free time. This year they had had a beautiful boy named Aaron. She insisted that he be raised Lutheran even though Craig had never been to church except for his own baptism and wedding. Craig didn’t mind. If Jane wanted that, then that would make her happy, so be it. Craig loved his family and that included his brothers and mother. Jane knew that but still slightly resented his mother getting any attention. Craig ended up doing a balancing act. Joan knew he was torn and tried not to interfere.

Asking her about the show, Craig directed her to her Mercedes. Unlocking the trunk he stowed her bags and handed her the keys, slamming the trunk shut he escorted her to the driver’s side. She unlocked the door and slid into the drivers seat. Craig shut the door for her and headed around to the passengers side. They continued discussing the various merits of the show, she told him her ideas for some of her new work. He in turn told her what she had missed the week she’d been gone and the prior week when she had been getting ready and distracted. He asked about the extra days she had stayed in California.

“Oh, I met a friend and decided to catch up with her” she answered. It was true, just not the whole truth. “She’s going to spend her vacation here with me in two weeks.”

“Here?” he asked puzzled. “What’s to do here?”

Laughing at his tone she knew what he meant. If you didn’t fish or hunt or follow the Packers football team things could be limited. Fortunately she had given her boy’s a taste of the arts and they enjoyed concerts and other art and could keep themselves amused. All of her son’s were athletic so she had started jogging to keep up with them. They had gold memberships at the YMCA. She herself would go there to use the weight training room and occasionally run into Craig there.

The short drive to Craig’s house was accomplished and he invited her in. Jane was nursing Aaron when they walked in. Embarrassed she tried to cover up. This made the baby squirm. Joan walked into the kitchen for a drink of juice and Craig followed. He told her Aaron’s latest news which wasn’t much at this age but then as the doting father seemed like much. Jane contributed from the living room. Finished nursing she brought Aaron in burping him over her shoulder. He spit up a little on the diaper rag that she had over the shoulder. Joan wasn’t too maternal. She enjoyed little kids when they had more personality. At this age they threw up, pooped up, and just made noises. She loved her little grandbaby but just preferred to let Jane handle him. She smiled at the picture Jane and Aaron made. Like a flash bulb going off in her head she realized her next work of art was standing in front of her.

Feeling tired she called it a night and left Craig and Janes house. She let herself into her apartment and carried her bags up the stairs. She had thought about getting herself another house but felt that there was no need for it at this point in her life. Instead she would concentrate on her art.

It was well after one when she got herself settled. She thought about calling Grace but knew that Grace had to work tomorrow and it was already after 11 there. Instead she turned on her computer, typed on her internet service provider and typed in her password. She went first to her business emails. The ones with orders she left for Yoshi to sort out. None were older than today anyway. She deleted some spam and then switched to her personal email. There was over 100 emails. Most of it was spam that she just deleted. A few were jokes sent by well meaning friends and family. The boys had wicked senses of humor, inherited she thought gleefully from her! Then looking down she saw an email address she wasn’t familiar with, about to delete it, she read the subject line. It said “From Grace Monroe.” Eagerly she clicked on it. Grace had sent it as soon as she had gotten back from dropping her off at the airport. Funny how a person can pour out feelings in the written word that they might not be able to in the spoken word. Grace already missed her. Was looking forward to seeing her in two weeks. Enjoyed getting to know her over the past few days. Joan responded with a like email, stressing how much she would miss her over the next couple weeks. Clicking send she then captured the address to her address book and buddy list, in case she should see Grace on line and want to chat. With the time difference and their working schedules, who knew. Turning of the computer, Joan headed for bed.

~ CHAPTER 4 ~

The two weeks crawled by. Joan was besieged with requests for prints. The show had been the most successful by far. She was pleased. She spoke several times on the phone with Allan about the possibility of touring. In no uncertain terms she told him that it would have to wait until she had more work to present the public. Firmly in the driver’s seat on this one he backed off but offered other idea’s which she agreed to. It meant more traveling but greater exposure, then in a couple of years the grand tour with her works. It would all have to build.

Joan had meetings with Craig and it was discussed about the possibility of bringing Adam into the firm in a year when he graduated from college. It was up to Adam. Joan would not interfere. It was his choice. The job was there but only if he wanted it. Bryan already had indicated he did want a position in the firm. Craig had several assistants already working for him but family could be trusted absolutely and he looked forward to sharing the burden with his brother’s some day.

She checked her email morning and night. Some day’s there were several emails, and other days depending on Grace’s schedule, there were none. They still called each other daily if possible. Joan had given Grace her personal number, as well as the email addresses, her business number, and even her cell. Grace in turn had given her her home number, the number at UCI and her beeper number. Her first email gave Joan her email address. A few times they even caught each other on line and chatted.

Joan thought a lot about Grace as she worked. She was painting every moment she could. The idea for the mother with child had expanded to two panels, mother with child, and father with child. They were a match. In just a few strokes she captured the beauty of it all. She knew without a doubt that these were some of her best. She was anxious to continue on to other works after these were done. To capture the other idea’s that she had had. Working long into the night she was getting by on naps and looked it. Even when she would lay down to sleep she would think about Grace and the things they had said and done. She couldn’t keep the doubts at bay. She began to think she had imagined it all. She was sure Grace had thought her inept or stupid. Even discussing it a little had been difficult as Grace was sure to say she was imagining things. Joan was sure that she had to of been disappointed at her ignorance. She tried instead to imagine what she could do to make Grace happy. Not just sexually but all across the board, spiritually, mentally, physically. This at least she felt up to. She and Grace were very compatible intellectually. It was what had drawn them in the first place.

Grace could sense Joan’s doubts and knew that the only way to supress them completely was to BE there. No matter what she could or would say the only way was to show her how she felt. Telling her that she was falling in love with her would have less meaning over the phone, over the internet, or by email. Being THERE would be what counted. In the meantime she checked out the possibility of transferring to a hospital in the Wausau area. She just sent out a few feelers to get the lay of the land. She wouldn’t commit until she was certain where this relationship with Joan was going. She too was anxious for her vacation to start. The two weeks apart were agony for both of them.

Joan started her third work since she had come home the morning before she was to pick up Grace. She had done all her preliminary work, prepping the canvas, drawing some of the base lines when she stopped for lunch. It was really breakfast as she had forgotten again to eat. It was then that she realized that the apartment was a wreck. It wasn’t that the place was dirty, she was neat by nature, but it could use a dusting and a vacuuming, thoroughly. Joan called Craig to get the cleaners they used for their rentals. The cleaners agreed to send a crew instead of just one person to be there that day. She’d end up paying double she knew. When they were finished though the carpet had been shampooed, the wood had been polished, the dust had disappeared. They even did the gallery downstairs which had really needed it. Yoshi wasn’t too happy to have the people around but even she had to admit that the windows had needed scrubbing not just cleaning.

Joan was happy to be driving down Highway 51 to pick up Grace in her Mercedes. Craig had had it detailed while she was in California and keeping it clean hadn’t been hard. She parked at the airport and walked in to wait. You weren’t allowed to wait at the gate anymore for security reasons so she sat in the lounge sipping soda. The flight was finally announced and she waited near the concourse. Grace was one of the last people off the plane. She walked right up to Joan and gave her a big hug. For someone who didn’t want demonstrative affection in public it was one whopper of a hug. Joan gave her a huge smile. They both talked at once in their happiness to see each other. Walking over to the baggage claim they talked a mile a minute, sometimes interrupting each other. It took forever for the bags to begin rolling on the conveyor belt but they didn’t mind. For two people who talked almost daily they still had a lot to catch up on. After catching Graces two big bags (she was staying for only two weeks right? Joan thought) they each carried one to the Mercedes. Grace admired the little red convertible with gold highlights. It was a real classy car. An antique too by the look of it, but kept in good order. It almost made Grace wish for one but she was partial to her Jaguar. They put the bags in the trunk and headed into the car. Joan unlocked her door and reached across to unlock Grace’s. She was pulling back when Grace grabbed her hand to keep her on her side of the car. Grace got in, shut the door, and pulled Joan into her arms for a very passionate kiss. It went on for awhile before Grace would let Joan back up.

Blinking fast Joan was breathing hard. She looked around to see if anyone had noticed her kissing this beautiful woman. She knew how it made Grace feel but she didn’t regret Grace’s impulsive action. Fortunately the weather was too cold to have the top down and no one had noticed a thing.

Grace watched Joan look around and laughed to herself. Asking her “There now, does that get rid of some of your doubts?”

Smiling wryly Joan nodded and hugged her “I’m so glad you are here. I hope you won’t be bored.”

“Bored? With you? Never!” Returning Joan’s smile, Grace gave her a wink.

Joan started the engine and drove them to her gallery. She and Grace carried the bags to her stairs but instead of going up they turned and went into the gallery. Joan introduced her to Yoshi, her gallery manager and secretary. Then she showed her the prints and a few originals she had hanging there. Many of the originals were shipped to the Malibu gallery for showing there after they had been copied for prints. The whole process was what made Joan’s works sell. She’d make an original piece. It would then be copied by a digital camera in minute detail. This camera would go over the original inch by inch, faithfully storing each brushstroke and dot of paint. It would all be recreated in the prints which then were mass produced by a printer. The original would hang in either gallery depending on it’s appeal, mostly they went to Malibu as more people would see them there. The original camera print would then also be put on the website advertising the coming prints. Orders would be taken there. Later as Joan produced a new catalog these prints would be added to it. This was the secret of her success. Getting it out there, marketing the prints, backing it all up with the website and then the catalog. It was why Allan was anxious to get her on tour. It made a tremendous amount of money.

Grace admired the smaller gallery. The one in Malibu was twice this size but Joan felt in a small town like Wausau that there wasn’t the market there was in Malibu and they didn’t need a lot of space here. They did a lot of the shipping here though and occasionally Yoshi hired help with that. If Joan eventually did the tour more help would be needed full time.

After showing her the gallery, Joan took her upstairs to the apartment and showed her around there. Leaving her bags in the bedroom, Joan showed her the loft where her creations came to life. The Mother and child and Father and child were standing on easels in one corner. They took Grace’s breath away. She hadn’t seen work like this. It was so raw, so appealing, so incredible. She knew Joan’s work from admiring it over the years and the catalog. Now that she actually knew the artist she took even more interest and had read about Joan on the internet. She knew that these two pieces were by far Joan’s best work thus far. She studied them for a long time. Finally, Joan cleared her throat to get Grace’s attention.

“I take it you like them?”

“Like doesn’t even begin to describe what they make me feel.”

Not sure where Grace was going with that, Joan decided she DIDN’T like the work and shrugged it off. Some works meant more to her than other’s and some people just didn’t like ALL her work. Grace looked up in time to see Joan turning away.

“These have got to be the best you’ve ever done” she stated.

Thinking Grace was placating her now, Joan shrugged and began studying the other piece she was currently working on.

Grace walked over to study it too. Never having seen a work in progress she could see a lot more went into it than she realized. It wasn’t even half finished but the beauty of it came through in just the rough that Joan had done. This one was of a sunset and if Grace wasn’t mistaken it was one as seen in Newport Beach, near where she lived. Turning to Joan she quietly said “Wow, you are really talented Joan.”

Joan turned to her. She had heard this all before over the years. As well as being told how horrible some of her pieces were. However, compliments from this particular individual meant more to her. Searching Grace’s face to see that she was genuinely sincere she smiled.

Grace took this opportunity to pull Joan into her arms and kiss her. Lightly at first but with growing warmth. Her hands weren’t still either. They caressed through Joan’s shirt up and down her back. Joan held her across the shoulders, tightly, afraid this would end. A long time later they stopped and just looked at each other.

“God, I missed you.” Grace stated. “I didn’t want you to leave at all, but when I see what you create I see that your work is important” she gestured to the Mother and child and Father and child paintings. “I would never keep you from creating such as that.”

Blinking back the tears that threatened Joan realized how silly she had been. Imagining things. Grace had been open and honest right from the start. She had told Joan what she thought about her paintings before AND after she knew who she was.

Putting her arm around Grace’s waist she led her out of the loft and through her spare room. The spare room had been converted into a library of all things. Joan had a collection of books, video’s, and tapes in this room on shelves that lined the walls, top to bottom. Grace stopped to admire some of the titles. They found that they had author’s in common as well. Some of their movie tastes were the same and even some of their music. Selecting a movie, they moved into the living room and started the movie. Joan went to put together some supper. Here in the Midwest it was breakfast, lunch sometimes called dinner if it was hot, and supper. When she had been in CA it had been breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Grace didn’t care as long as they ATE. The plane food had been gross.

Joan put together a fruit salad to accompany thinly sliced steak and vegetables. A nice carafe of juice she brought to the table. The talked all through the movie while they ate their supper. After the meal Joan rinsed the dishes and put them in a small dishwasher that sat on top of the counter. It would take two loads to get everything washed but it was convenient. Grace opened a bottle of wine and they sat on the couch continuing their conversation through the movie. As it was a movie they both had seen before it didn’t really matter how much they paid attention to it.

They talked long after the movie was over. Joan switched to the music only cable channel and they listened to that. Finally Joan was hiding a yawn when Grace suggested they go to bed. Showing Grace to the bedroom they each carried in one of Grace’s bags. Giving her half the dresser and half the closet space hadn’t been hard as Joan didn’t care about clothes too much and so didn’t keep a lot of them. While Grace unpacked, Joan went into the bathroom and changed for bed. Stripping she put her clothes in the hamper and pulled her nightgown over her head. It came to her knees. As she brushed her teeth Grace walked into the bathroom. Raising her eyebrow at the invasion however minor, Joan tried to smile around the toothbrush.

“Hurry up, I’ve got to use the bathroom” Grace mocked. For effect she hopped on one foot.

Laughing through the toothpaste, Joan spit and rinsed out the sink. Grabbing some water into the palm of her hand she rinsed out her mouth and wiped it on one of the bath towels. Exiting the bathroom with a wink over her shoulder to Grace.

Joan had the bedclothes turned down by the time Grace came out of the bathroom. She was sitting on the right side of the bed reading the newspaper. Looking up she saw a lovely sight. Grace was in a cream colored satin gown that emphasized her narrow waist and high bust. It was very effeminate and extremely sexy. With a matching robe hanging over the ends of her shoulders she looked as though she just stepped out of a catalog. Joan caught her breath. Shrugging off the robe unselfconsciously and tossing it across the foot of the bed Grace slipped under the covers. Slipped being the key word as her satin gown and the satin comforter weren’t compatible and the comforter slipped right off her. Joan started laughing hysterically. The next thing she knew she was being pelted with a pillow. Her papers slid to the floor when she tried to defend herself. Both of them ended up in a tangle of bedclothes, laughing and breathing hard.

“So WHAT is so funny?” Grace demanded in between laughs.

“You are, here you look so sexy and sophisticated in that nightgown, right out of Victoria’s Secret and then you slip into bed slipping right off the covers. It’s a good thing I don’t have satin sheet’s or you’d have slipped right on your ass.” Giggling uncontrollably she could not continue. An occasional snort could be heard in her laughter in attempts to get oxygen to her lungs. This had the effect of making her laugh harder.

Grace laughed with her for awhile at the image portrayed then laughed at her when she heard the snorts. Finally Joan calmed down and wiped the tears from her face.

“Gawd, thank you, I needed a good belly laugh” she smiled.

“Well, I’m glad I could oblige” Grace answered dryly.

That didn’t help things as Joan started laughing again. Grace couldn’t help but join her and eventually they both stopped. They found they were still wrapped in the sheets around each other. Joan took advantage of this moment to caress Graces face along her jawline. Closing her eyes Grace pressed her face against Joans hand. Joan reached up and lightly kissed her on the lips. Grace increased the pressure and opened her lips, deepening the kiss. Her hand slid up Joan’s thigh to find that there was no underwear to form a barrier. One thing led to another after that and awhile later they lay in each other arms panting from their exertions. After the first time Grace showed her something she had brought. Some toys to enhance the experience. Fascinated, Joan asked countless questions. A lot of the answers caused her to say “REALLY, no kidding?” much to Graces amusement.

Joan wondered why in all the years she had been married that he hadn’t been able to bring her to this state. She was grateful to Grace for teaching her that it didn’t have to be as it was, for showing her what there was and more.

Graces thoughts were quite different. She wondered if she should tell Joan that she was falling in love with her. That she hadn’t ever felt this way about another person. Never felt this way about another woman. She was afraid to tell her too soon. What if Joan didn’t feel that way about her? What if Joan didn’t want a commitment? For now, she decided, I’ll wait and see. The two weeks had just started, she would just take it day by day and enjoy it. Pulling Joan’s head onto her shoulder she snuggled close and went to sleep. Joan soon was nodding off too.

~ CHAPTER 5 ~

The two weeks were a lot of fun. Joan took Grace out riding in the Mercedes. A couple of days were warm enough to have the top down. People couldn’t help but smile at the beautiful women in the red convertible driving along. Joan with her brown hair and red highlights, Grace with her blonde hair streaked. They were both attractive, striking women in their own ways. Joan kept her hair tied up in scarves or leather tied around it’s length to keep it out of the way. Grace let hers fly in the wind her curls getting curlier and tangled.

Joan took her to the river for a picnic. She showed her around the town from the mills to the stores. A real small town feeling. Grace likened it to a hug. She actually found it quaint and liked it. Perhaps she should transfer to the hospital downtown. She’d decide after she got back from the trip. They went to the small museums, to Mennonite shops, to quaint little family owned restaurants. Joan even took them to an old time cheese factory laughing hysterically at Graces face when she walked through the door and smelled it for the first time. They spent a lot of time just talking, getting to know each other and their lives. They had so much to share. It was like being back in school and getting a best friend again.

The third night Grace was there Joan took her to a restaurant to meet her boys. For some reason Grace was really nervous. She had no family that she could introduce Joan to and she knew how important her boys were to her. She spoke with such pride about their accomplishments. The bragging rights of all parents. Joan had chosen a nice little fish fry in a family owned bar. She joked that she always knew when she was in Wisconsin that there would be a bar on 3 out of 4 corners. This was almost true. Walking up to the picnic table with it’s red checkered tablecloth Grace was pleased to see three good looking men rise upon seeing their mother approaching.

The tallest must be Craig, she thought and this was confirmed with Joan’s introduction. The other two were the same height but an inch shorter than their brother. Each boy kissed his mother on the cheek. Joan introduced Grace as one of her ‘BEST’ friends. Jane almost snubbed them both. Joan just ignored her rudeness and Grace took her cue from Joan.

The dinner went well. Grace wasn’t used to the Friday night fish fry. Joan explained about how in the ‘old’ days that Catholic’s weren’t allowed red meat on Fridays and that is how the fish fry had started. Other religions and people had followed the tradition even going now when the Catholic’s no longer were so stringent in following that practice. Friday fish fry’s were the only time they saw some people meeting again and again at their favorite one.

Grace was seated next to Craig and discovered another facet of Joan. She hadn’t realized that Joan invested at all. Joan didn’t give off any signs that she had money. In fact, most people would assume she was a starving artist. Despite all their conversations she didn’t know everything about this multitalented woman. It was intriguing. Craig was an intelligent young man. Grace found his advice to be sound for someone so young. When she mentioned this to him he brushed it off easily and then attributed it to his upbringing and mother.

Adam and Bryan caught their mother up on all their college events. They deliberately neglected to tell her about their partying and such. She deliberately didn’t ask them. They were charming scamps, going through college like any normal guys. Next year Adam would graduate, Joan could tell he was worried about what to do next. She never pressured him or even asked what his plans were. It was totally his decision and she would let him make it. He knew there was a position available in the firm if or when he wanted it. So far though, he wasn’t interested. Sink or swim, fail or succeed, Joan would be there for him and when he stopped worrying he’d realize it.

Jane was a stay at home mom and didn’t seem to have much to contribute to the conversation at large. She knew that telling about Aaron’s latest escapades would wear thin very quickly. She resented that she didn’t have more to contribute. Everyone had something to add but she. It soon became apparent to Craig that he would pay for this get together later. She was almost seething, and then something wonderful happened. Grace actually took an interest in her and the baby. As all the stories were new to Grace, Jane suddenly had the audience she craved. Being a psychiatrist Grace saw plenty of bored housewives and saw the signs in Jane. She was also actually interested in the baby stories they had all heard time and again. She had never had children of her own. She ended up holding Aaron awkwardly and talking to him with Jane looking on adoringly. She made a devoted friend that evening. The boys looked on with grins on their faces. No one ever held Aaron but Jane or Craig. Jane even had a problem with Joan holding her own grandson.

The evening was proclaimed a success by everyone. The boys walked Joan and Grace to the Mercedes and put them in it. Gallantly closing the doors for them. Waving goodbye Joan saw Craig putting the baby in the backseat of their mini-van. Bryan got behind the wheel of the old jeep that he and Adam shared.

“You never told me how charming your son’s were” Grace commented.

Smirking Joan answered “They take after their mother.”

Sharing the laugh Grace answered “seriously though, Craig really knows about investments. Perhaps I should let him handle my portfolio, since there isn’t one.”

“I don’t think you would do that badly. He’s cautious and thorough.” Joan went on to tell Grace how they had invested their first $500 and some of the ups and downs over the years. Grace came to realize how hard it had been for her. Seeing the results though she had those wonderful son’s to be proud of.

~ CHAPTER 6 ~

All too soon the two weeks came to an end. Joan wanted them to go on indefinitely. Most mornings she’d slip out of bed and paint for a couple of hours until the time change caught up with Grace and she woke up. For once the automatic coffee maker was actually being used. Grace would come padding into the loft to watch Joan create her works of art with cup in hand. Joan had managed to finish Sunset while Grace was visiting. It was beautiful with it’s vivid colors and bold use of them. Grace had begun to think that she’d like a print of this one and seeing it created was fascinating. The paintings of Mother and child and Father and child had been digitally reproduced and then boxed and shipped to Malibu. The first day there they had both sold for a good sum. Someone had already seen the print on the internet and had been waiting for them to arrive. Joan was thrilled and yet sad, another of her babies out into the world.

For their last evening they decided to cook and stay in. Joan actually produced a roast with carrots and potatoes. Her salad was fabulous with a blending of lettuce, grapes, cucumbers, and melon. No dressing touched that lettuce. Instead they could dip into yogurt for a surprisingly cool refreshing taste. Grace saw to it that Joan ate normal portions. She worried that Joan forgot to eat so often with her work to distract her. Her figure though was terrific.

After dinner when all the dishes were washed and put away, they sat and held hands on the sofa. Quietly a song played on the cable channel. Grace had her head on Joan’s shoulder. For at least an hour they sat that way, neither speaking, it was so special and they both appreciated it. Lost in their own thoughts.

Finally, after thinking it all through, Grace spoke. “I love you, Joan”

Startled Joan turned so that Graces head fell off her shoulder. Looking deeply into Graces face to see whatever meanings might lie hidden there she answered “that’s good, because I’m in love with you too.” Quietly without a lot of emotion she left it at that.

Grace wasn’t sure of the response she had expected but this wasn’t it. For once Joan’s intent look made HER uncomfortable. Then when she had thought about it for a few moments, what else could Joan have said that could have made her any happier. Smiling she reached up and kissed her. Joan returned the kiss. Raising her head she asked “now what?”

“I don’t know” Joan answered. “I know I don’t want to wait for your next vacation to see you.”

“What do you think about a long distance relationship?” Grace asked testing the waters.

“Long distance?”

“Yeah, a weekend here, a weekend there. Perhaps meeting in the middle somewhere?”

“I really don’t have any desire to meet you somewhere in Nebraska or Kansas.” She answered with a laugh.

Picturing it Grace joined in with that laugh. “Then what do we do?” She knew she might just say that she would move back here but she wanted Joan to suggest it. She didn’t want to tread on her territory as it were. She had everything here, her family, her businesses, her reputation. No one had suspected they were any more than friends but if they lived for any length of time together someone would eventually. Grace didn’t want to ruin things for her in any way.

“I don’t know.” You could hear the sadness in her voice. “I guess I could try to come out in a couple of weeks. Perhaps we could work it out then.”

“That’s a good idea.” Grace decided to let it go at that. There would be time to work it all out later. She had other idea’s right now and decided to pursue them.

Because it was their last night together for awhile or in spite of it Joan didn’t allow Grace to take the upper hand. In all their time together she had always let Grace take the lead. She knew what she wanted and tonight she made Grace gasp in her pleasures. Grace had introduced the toys and tonight Joan used one to good use. When they both wound down Grace turned to Joan in amazement.

“You surprised me tonight.”

“I think I surprised myself with my daring” she answered. Joan was blushing. She wasn’t that bold, she just wasn’t.

“Never the less, you enjoyed yourself as well.”

Now she was actually embarrassed. “We aren’t going to discuss it are we?”

“Not if you don’t want to.” Grace let her off the hook knowing how new she was to all this. She had enjoyed herself immensely as well. She didn’t need to do a question and answer post mortum. Reaching out she raised Joan’s chin. “I do love you Joan” she said quietly.

Grace could see the sparkle in Joan’s eyes immediately. The smile alone was brilliant. Joan reached over to kiss Grace and responded with “I love you too, Grace.”

Spooning up together they slept.

The clock read 4am when Joan awoke. She was wide awake and restless. She couldn’t sleep anymore. Carefully so as not to wake Grace she slid out from under her arm. Grace just turned over and confiscated the whole queen sized bed. Joan watched her sleep for awhile from the light of the skylight. Grabbing her robe off the end of the bed she silently headed to her loft to think. She didn’t want to lose Grace. This beautiful, funny, classy lady was in love with her, but for how long? Joan knew she didn’t have the self confidence to maintain this relationship on what she had going now. Strangely enough where her art or portfolio was concerned she was confidant. No one who knew her from those two worlds would suspect she was an emotional wreck on the personal level. Sitting on one of the stools in her loft she contemplated her future. What to do? What to do? How to hold onto this woman in her life. How to make herself more confidant about it. She sat there for two hours looking at nothing in particular when she realized she was staring at the yellow page book. She kept it in here for the express purpose of counterweights. She hadn’t looked into it for practical purposes ever. Absentmindedly paging through it she came across a spa. Reading the ad Joan realized that this would solve a few of her problems for her. She’d call them tomorrow. Ripping out the page she pined it to a note board. Getting up she padded back to her bedroom. She crawled back into bed and Grace wrapped her warm body around her.

Grace knew something was up the next day. Although Joan was sad to see her go she was also anxious. In between yawns she seemed distracted.

Grace wasn’t sure what to think. She watched for the umpteenth time as Joan brushed out her waist length hair. It was just so very gorgeous. Grace had loved playing with it when they made love. Burying her face in it. Breathing in the silky smell of the shampoo that Joan used. It was just so sexy. Once all the knots and snarls were brushed out Joan would wrap it in either a scarf or a leather tube to keep the snarls out. She claimed if she put it up on her head it would give her a headache. In no time at all she was dressed and ready to go.

Grace had a 10 am flight but she still wouldn’t arrive in Orange County at John Wayne Airport until after 6 PM. Her Jag was with Joanne who should be picking her up. She hadn’t wanted to leave it in long term parking as she wasn’t sure it would still be there when she got back.

Joan drove them in her Mercedes but was very quiet on the way to Central Wisconsin Airport. She was sad that Grace had to leave, that the two weeks had come to an end but she was excited at the spa that she had read about. She made no mention of it to Grace as she wanted it to be a surprise. Grace could sense something but couldn’t put her finger on it. Joan parked the car and they lugged Graces bags to the check-in counter. Joan was grateful that the toys were nicely packed away deep within one of the bags. She couldn’t imagine the embarrassment if they went under an xray and had to be opened. She said as much to Grace after they were checked in and waiting for the flight to be announced. Grace chuckled at the thought, remembering a story she had heard about that very thing happening to a woman. She shared the story with Joan. Although Joan laughed in enjoyment of the story she was still grateful that the bags were gone.

They were talking softly when the flight was finally announced. Joan jumped in her seat and then to her feet. Alarmed Grace stared at her. Joan just shrugged, laughing it off. Grace gave her a big hug and a squeeze. “I love you, you know” she smiled.

Calmly Joan answered with the same. “I love you too, I’ll miss you. Call me when you get in?”

Grace nodded and said goodbye, releasing her. Joan watched her get in line for the security checkpoint. Grace exchanged a couple of looks with her before her purse was on the conveyor belt and she went through the metal detector. No alarms sounded and with one last wave she was gone.

Joan practically sprinted for her car. She was excited to get going with the change in her life. She wondered if she should cut her hair. It had taken 8 years to grow it this long. A very big investment. Pulling the ripped page from the yellow pages out of her pocket she phoned from her cell. She was put on terminal hold for quite a few miles up the freeway. Finally a girl by the name Sheri came on the line. Speaking with Joan for awhile they made arrangements for Joan to come in 20 minutes later for an evaluation. Joan sped up the freeway to the spa.

At the spa Sheri met her at the door, introducing herself. She began to give Joan a tour of the spa. They also discussed what Joan was looking for. Within the hour Joan was being given a massage. She’d had them before and the best had been given to her by Grace. Grace had told her that she learned massage therapy to help with some of her patients but as yet had never needed to use it.

They went over general health care and hygiene at the spa. Common things one should already know and some things that weren’t so common. Joan had a total body wrap. She sat in a vat of sterilized mud. She even consented to her hair being braided into cornrows. When they finished it was in tiny finger thick braids all over her head. The way they wrapped around on the sides kept it from falling into her face. That many braids she was sure would kill her eventually with their length. She was sure that she would hang on them. After a few days though the convenience of them won her over. Sheri assigned her an exercise program and monitored her eating. Joan’s eating habits as Grace had observed were terrible. The good thing going for her was that she ate healthy items and stayed away from fried food. With her broad shoulders and physique she could have easily been fat.

Sheri went with her to pick out clothes. She knew exactly what looked good with Joan’s coloring and size. Joan ended up spending a lot more on clothes that she had in years. Her credit card bill was going to be a shocker to Craig. Over the two weeks they went over etiquette and other things that Joan thought were so effeminate. Surprisingly to Joan was the fact that she wasn’t the hick she had thought she was, her manners were good according to Sheri. They picked out lingerie and cosmetics. Sheri took her to a perfumery. Joan hadn’t known one existed in Wisconsin much less the Midwest. She always thought of that as something you would find in London, Rome, or some ancient city. They found what Sheri and the perfumist assured her was the perfect scent. To Joan it smelled a little musky but invited the person to smell deeper and be drawn into it’s lovely scent. It took awhile to get used to that as well.

Joan had never pampered herself like this. She was loving it. For the first time in her life she felt as beautiful as Grace had told her she was. Her clothes fit her exactly. No need for loose jeans and T-shirts. Sheri had stuck to the flowing outfits that Joan enjoyed but these appeared made for her and showed off her physique. Some became what Joan thought of as power suits.

In the last week of her spa treatment she underwent electrolysis to remove her underarm hair, most of it on her legs, all of it on her feet, toes, and knuckles. It was painful and follow up visits would be necessary but eventually the hair would stop growing and she wouldn’t need to shave. They offered to do her bikini line as well. Laughing, Joan informed them that she NEVER wore bikini’s. They offered to do her eyebrows as well but she only plucked a few stray mavericks from there so she didn’t see the need.

Sheri and her consultants taught her how to appropriately use make up and the right colors for her. With her new hair style they showed how to highlight her eyes and other facial features such as her high cheekbones. She ended up plucked, waxed, exfoliated, cleansed, and a few other words that weren’t at all ladylike. It was a torture chamber and yet she felt great. At the end of the week and half she felt all the money had been worth it and she looked forward to seeing Grace the following week to surprise her. She hadn’t said a word.

The first night Grace had returned and Joanne had met her with the Jag. There was a key scratch on the car that would need to be buffed out and this ticked off Grace but Jo had done her a favor so how could she complain. Jo asked her how it had gone and Grace confided in her love for Joan. Jo was surprised as she had thought that Joan was totally straight. Grace confessed that she had seduced Joan that first night. She was ashamed but very attracted to her. Now however she knew that Joan loved her too and she could let the guilt go. Joanne shook her head at Grace and laughed. Grace had needed a good relationship. Jo had seen her through a couple of bad ones. What she remembered about Joan was that she was an honest and kind person. Perhaps this would work out for both of them.

Grace called Joan as soon as she got in. All she got was the machine. Knowing how late it was there and Joan’s routine she thought perhaps she had gone out with one of her boys or was so involved with her painting that she didn’t hear the phone. She left a message anyway. She went to bed then, exhausted from traveling. She had to work the next afternoon and spent the morning sorting her clothes and putting things away. When she came across her toys she laughed at Joan’s reactions to them initially and then found herself aroused at Joan’s later reactions. They were so open and honest. Joan had surprised her though when the tables were turned. She didn’t ever lose control but Joan had done that to her. It had felt so raw. So different, so unusual, so free. It only deepened what she felt for her.

She fired up her computer to see if there were any messages from Joan yet. She was surprised to see nothing. This bothered her a bit as Joan hadn’t returned her call from the night before either. What she didn’t know was at that very moment Joan was in the vat of mud at the spa.

Joan returned the call two days later. She apologized and left a message. In an email she explained that she was working on a project that she wanted to get it done before she saw Grace in 2 weeks or so.

The next few days were all near misses of phone calls, emails, and even an imail or two. Joan had the rotten habit of leaving her computer on when she got distracted by something and a few of the imails she received from Grace went unanswered. Grace was getting annoyed and frustrated.

She thought about Joan a lot more as time went by and they didn’t speak. Talking to each other’s answering machines was not what she wanted. Thinking about Joan in bed at night got her hot and bothered. She tried taking care of it herself but it wasn’t the same anymore. She needed Joan now. It was getting more frustrating as time went by. One night when she knew it was very late there she called, hoping that she would at least get to hear Joan’s voice. A very sleepy and irate voice came over the phone “DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?”, no hello, no cheerfulness. Grace knew she must be coming obsessed. She apologized emphatically to Joan and explained how frustrated she had been to talk TO her and not her answering machine.

It had been hell for Joan as well. Grace unfortunately chose the day of Joan’s electrolyses and Joan wasn’t in the best of moods. She had taken a Tylenol PM for the pain and gone to bed hoping that by morning it would no longer bother her. To be woken at this hour just simply pissed her off. Grace did not find a sympathetic ear. The conversation was brief and left them both a little angry.

Two days later Joan called Grace at UCI and apologized. She caught Grace in the middle of work and unfortunately Grace wasn’t in the best of moods then. It left both of them angry again.

Grace tried to reach Joan that night only to yet again get her answering machine. Trying to hide her impatience and frustration she just simply left the message “Call me.”

Joan in the meantime in between the spa treatments and shopping was making arrangements to move things to Malibu. She spoke with each of the boys explaining that her opportunities were greater with her art there. They were all adults and didn’t need her on a daily basis. She’d fly back periodically for trips and they could come out anytime. Bryan like that idea as he’d always wanted to learn to surf. Her Malibu gallery and studio was right on Pacific Coast Highway across from the beach. Perfect for surfing. They seemed fine with her plans if surprised. They’d all been surprised by her new look. She explained that it would help her career and she had needed an ego boost. Exchanging looks they later decided she must be going through the change. At 41, had she of known what they said, she would have banged some heads together.

She arranged for Craig to keep Yoshi working at the gallery. The foundation would pay her weekly. She could continue doing what she had done for the last year or so without Joan’s supervision. The new works would continue to get printed and shipped out of the Wausau gallery and Yoshi would handle it for her. Yoshi was fine with that idea as well. She enjoyed the quiet of the gallery with the occasional collector or tourist strolling in to view the works and perhaps to buy.

She sold her antique Mercedes. A collector who would love it as much as she had bought it for a decent price. She’d miss it but it was time to start anew she felt. From the apartment she packed and shipped her old clothes, pictures, and trinkets. Yoshi would find a tenant for it while Joan was in Malibu. She’d arranged for the heat, gas, electric, cable, and phone to be turned off the day she left.

Finally two nights before she was to depart she and Grace reached each other on the phone. Joan was relaxing in front of the cable music station drinking a nice wine when the phone rang twice and Grace answered.

“Hello?”

“Hiya beautiful, what’s new with you?” Joan was smiling into the phone.

“Hey you, long time no speak! Was wondering if you were going to stay mad at me or something.”

“Or something.”

“What?”

“You gave me a choice, I chose ‘or something.’ I don’t get mad, I get angry, instead of getting either I chose or something.”

Laughing at her logic Grace asked her how she’d been. How was her project coming along.

“Fine, a few fine tuning’s but otherwise great.”

“I’m missing you, you know? I love you but your driving me crazy.”

“Well, at least you work in the right department for that.”

They chatted for a good half an hour and agreed to try again tomorrow. Joan smiled when she rang off anticipating the surprise. Her tickets were purchased. The apartment was pretty well packed up. She’d leave the furniture, appliances, and cookware. That much she could buy in California. Her older clothes, pictures, and trinkets were boxed and would be picked up tomorrow by the moving company. They’d arrive a week after her. With all the last minute details she only spoke with Grace once more before flying out. She told Grace she had a surprise for her but wouldn’t tell her what it was. Leaving it at that she rang off.

~ CHAPTER 7 ~

Joan chose the red eye flight to John Wayne out of Minneapolis by way of Central Wisconsin. She thought at least she could sleep away the hours that usually bored her. She could never read or watch TV on a plane, it always gave her motion sickness. Unfortunately for her she couldn’t sleep this time either. She didn’t know if it was the anticipation or what but she was simply too wound up. She knew why they called it the red eye when she arrived and stopped in the restroom and saw her eyes.

They screwed up her rental at the counter too. Two agents and a supervisor later she had them for lunch. Normally a pretty calm person the lack of sleep hadn’t helped and she nearly chewed their heads off. They tried to give her a compact car which she detested. Previous reservations had gone off without a hitch and with the supervisor soothing ruffled feathers all around she ended up with a luxury sedan that was really something. She enjoyed the Mark VIII they gave her. It was heavenly. She’d have preferred a Mercedes or something else along that line but foreign cars were only rented at the exotic counter and the only one of those was in Newport Beach.

She drove directly to Grace’s apartment. It was about 7 AM local time and she knew Grace would just be getting up. Smiling at her little surprise, she hadn’t even told Grace when she was arriving. She hoped her makeover would go over well. She was getting so excited. She still had the guest pass Grace had given her in her purse. She flashed this to security and they waved her through. She drove slowly past the little cracker box houses some worth six figures a few worth seven. She parked in guest parking at Graces apartment. She sat for a moment to calm herself. Smiling in anticipation of what the next few minutes and her surprises would bring.

She got out of the car, closed and locked it up. She wasn’t in the sticks anymore and an unlocked car was asking for trouble, locked ones sometimes too. She was halfway up the walk when to her surprise Graces door opened. A man dressed in a business suit was exiting. He turned back and gave Grace a kiss on the lips. She was dressed in a robe and had obviously just gotten up, coffee cup in hand. He turned and started down the walk, passing Joan where she stood frozen on the walk saying good morning to her. Joan stared at Grace and saw her squint into the morning sun, she then shut and locked the door. The lock was audible where Joan stood. Joan stood there until she heard the man start his car and drive away. Turning around she watched it leave. She walked to her own car and unlocked it. Sliding in she sat in stunned disbelief at what she had just witnessed.

What should she do? She was just simply at a loss of what to do. Should she go and confront Grace? All the anticipation of the last few weeks had kept her emotions high. The let down was hard to handle. She was shaking. Of all the things she had anticipated this had never been on her list. The utter betrayal of being made a fool of made her angry. The tears started after she started the car and left. When she reached LAX on the 405 freeway she could barely see for the tears. Fortunately she hit rush hour and traffic was so slow she could cry her eyes out. By the time she hit the 10 and headed for Santa Monica she refused to let herself cry anymore. The anger became deep seated.

Parking outside the gallery she repaired her face. Her eyes were puffy from crying and lack of sleep. There was nothing to do about that. She hauled her luggage up to the studio overlooking the gallery. It was only 9:30 and the gallery wouldn’t open until 10. She had warned her manager Madge of the impending move so Madge had opened up the apartment. The last tenant left a month ago so it was good timing. If Joan had left it one more month she wouldn’t have been able to have the apartment. Summer rentals ate up the vacancies.

She unlocked the side door and walked down the hallway. To her right was a side door to the gallery. To her left a stairway up to the apartment. Climbing the stairs took her under the apartment and to the door. Unlocking this door as well she dropped her bags within. She was in the kitchenette of the apartment. The apartment stretched over the gallery and garage with large oceanfront windows. The rent in summer was just embarrassing it brought in so much. Joan owned it all. It felt comfortable to be back. She remembered the condition it had been in when her and the boys had found it on the list of foreclosures.

Her first thought had been yuck. It was a dilapidated old building and dirty as hell. The boys and she had cleaned it out well, throwing almost everything out. They had filled quite a few garbage bins with the muck and garbage. They gutted it to the bare walls and started over. They hired a contractor who stuccoed the entire outside a beautiful Mediterranean white and they had plastered the inside after putting up the drywall. Huge windows were put in the front to catch the afternoon and evening sun. They were tinted and cost an astronomical price. The apartment was finished last. Joan had made it into a three room apartment. The living room and kitchen were what one saw first. Combined they were a pretty good size. The living room overlooked the gallery but you couldn’t see up into the apartment from below because of some cleverly placed windows. To the right of the living room was a good sized bedroom that Joan would use as her studio. Across from that bedroom was a full sized bathroom. To the left of the living room was the master bedroom. Skylights lit up the already brilliant white room. A queen sized bed and matching dresser were in the room already. A balcony wrapped along the west side of the room over the garage. Off the east side of the room was another full sized bathroom and walk in closets. Joan threw her bags at the bottom of the bed.

Picking up the phone to be sure it had been installed properly, she checked for a dial tone. It was working all right. She reached for one of her bags and pulled her lap top from it. Hooking it up took a few minutes. Connecting to the internet took another few minutes. She sent emails to Yoshi, Madge, Craig, Adam, and Bryan. She let them know that she was discontinuing her personal email addresses and that they could reach her through the Malibu gallery email or the phone numbers she had given them. She further told them that she would be changing her cell phone number and would let them know when that was reprogrammed. If she received any messages they were to filter through the galleries but at no time were her private numbers, address, or email to be given out to anyone. She stressed this but didn’t want to actually say why or who may be trying to get that information. She emailed everyone on her list except for Grace that a new screen name would be coming and to watch for it. She then copied her email address book and her buddy list to her notepad. She then went on her master screen name and deleted her email address. Thinking for awhile she chose another one and set that up. It took her awhile to copy in the email addresses that she wanted to keep and the buddy list. She left off Graces deliberately. She then sent an email to everyone on the list informing them of her new mailing address both physically and cyber. In the description box she told them it was from her so they wouldn’t delete it. That finished, she signed off and turned off the computer. Her computer had an answering machine on it so she turned that feature back on. Putting it aside on the nightstand, she pulled her clothes off and slipped under the covers. It took a long time to relax. The thoughts going around in her head made it hard to sleep despite her fatigue.

It was 2 PM local time when she awoke. For a moment she didn’t know where she was. When she became more aware the deep disappointment of the day hit her like a wave. Trying to shrug it off so she wouldn’t get depressed she headed for the bathroom. Her eyes looked a lot better than before. She repaired her makeup and covered up some of the remaining puffiness. She realized she was starving and there was nothing in the cupboard here. Not even dishes. She quickly unpacked her bags and stowed them. By the time she was dressed and ready to go it was already 2:45. She had to stop by the gallery or Madge would be sure to think she was slighted. She had to have noticed the car parked by the garage by now.

Walking into the gallery she was struck by the difference from this gallery and the one in Wausau. This one was so very sophisticated. The location alone made it so. The beauty of the displays enhanced it. Madge was very good at her job. Most of what was displayed here was Joan’s work but a few years ago they’d begun to display other local artists’ work and it had paid off very well. One had even gone on to become quite famous. His start he owed to Wood’s Gallery of Malibu and he’d never forgotten that. Madge heard the side door open from her office. She didn’t miss much. She hurried from the office to greet her employer. She stopped in surprise. Standing before her was an elegantly dressed woman with her hair all in braids. She was astounded at the change. She had just seen Joan five weeks ago and the change was overwhelming. Incredible. Smiling broadly she told Joan how great she looked. She practically gushed over her. They chatted for awhile about the gallery and Joan assured Madge that she would still have full control over it and that Joan would just be a tenant living upstairs. Madge was relieved. Some artists tried to control every aspect of their career, Joan was one of the few that recognized the skills of other’s and let them do their jobs. Not all the people who had worked for Joan over the years understood that and Madge was the third manager of the gallery but under her tutelage it had prospered. A few of Joan’s lesser works had even been discretely sold just to get rid of them to heighten the exclusivity of the gallery. Madge knew her job and knew it was appreciated. Leaving her there Joan decided she needed to eat and do a few other errands.

Her first stop was at a local malt shack. Ordering a vegetarian burger with a salad she washed it all down with a cherry shake. Feeling bloated but better she headed off for her other errands.

Malibu didn’t sport the big name stores that she needed so she headed inland across the canyon to Thousand Oaks and the mall. Spotting a Best Buy she stopped and bought a wide screen TV, a VCR, a DVD player with surround system, a stereo, all integrated and all guaranteed to be delivered and hooked up in three days for her. She also found a countertop dishwasher and a stackable washer and dryer set, these too would be delivered and installed. While there she also purchased a convection microwave oven, a toaster, a juicer/blender, an alarm clock radio, and a really cool set of cordless phones. These she had put in her trunk. She made that salesman very, very happy. He thought she was just asking all those questions and looking at the different items. The items she listed and the products she wrote down were for later purchases. When she told him to write up all those items he nearly died there on the spot.

She drove over to a furniture store and purchased a sectional sofa with a pull out bed and some reclining chairs as well as a desk and some lamps. These too were to be delivered in three days. Her credit card was going to have heart failure after all the use it got in the last month.

It was getting late and she pulled into an art store and bought an easel, some paints (they didn’t carry all the kinds she used), pencils, an electric pencil sharpener, notepads, an artists chair, and some ready made canvasses. Because of the size of the easel and the canvasses they would deliver the entire lot the next day.

Heading back she remembered that she needed food. She filled the cart and then her back seat with her remaining purchases. Exhausted she headed for Malibu. The only kind of shopping she ever enjoyed had been with Grace. She pushed that thought away. Her kind of shopping was to go into a store, look at what they had in what she wanted to buy. If they had it and she thought the price reasonable she bought it. She’d dicker on the price if she could. Most stores she never stayed in longer than an hour.

Tired but please that her purchases were mostly done she made several trips up the stairs with her various purchases. She put the fruit on the counter, the vegetables and meats in their bins, and the frozen stuff in the freezer. The concentrated orange, apple, and grape juices she left a can of each out in the refrigerator to be made later. She realized then she had forgotten to buy plates, dishes, napkins, and silverware as well as pitchers and glasses. Kicking the door jam only hurt her toes. She finished putting out the microwave, the toaster, the blender, and left the clock radio and phones for another time. She walked down to 7-11 and bought plastic plates, forks, knives, and cups. Trudging back and truly tired now she made herself eat a fruit cup and drink some apple juice boxes. She tried out the new toaster and managed to eat a piece of unbuttered toast. Another thing she had forgotten to buy, butter. Pulling her sketch pad from her purse she tore a sheet of paper out and began a list, putting dishes, and silverware at the top of it. She washed up and added a scrubber to her list. Going to the bathroom she returned to add towels and linens to the list. Locking up and turning out the lights she went to bed.

Getting up early the next morning because of the time change was a good thing. She got several things in order before she went out for the day. She had her list and headed across the canyon again to Thousand Oaks. She stopped again in at Best Buy. The salesman she had spoken to the previous day was there and she nearly gave him a heart attack when she told him she was there to cancel her order. She waited a silent count of ten to tell him that she was kidding. She needed to buy a 13” TV/VCR combo as well as a 27” TV and a VCR/DVD combo. She wanted one for her studio and the other for her bedroom. Making arrangements for these items to be delivered with the original shipment took some time as they were already in process. She also purchased an intercom system for the studio, the gallery, and the apartment. The salesman desperately wanted his commission so he worked hard to keep her happy. She was sure he was relieved when she left.

She went to Bed Bath and Beyond to buy her sheets, towels, dishes, and silverware. She bought a few bowls and pitchers as well. She could have spent a lot on gadgets but reality set in and she knew she wouldn’t ever need any of those things much less use them. She found a great art table and credenza for her studio. Easy assembly required. Yeah, right. She bought them anyway.

Her third stop was the DMV to change her license over to California. It was a good thing she had had a California drivers license before or they would have made her take the test again. After all these years she wasn’t sure she could pass it without studying the book.

Her final stop was the grocery store again. She was more thorough this time and got everything on the list as well as a few things on sale and things that appealed to her. Now she felt that she was ready to settle into her apartment. She returned to the studio.

She unpacked the car making several trips. Madge came out after the third one and asked if she could help. Thanking her but refusing she did ask her for the name of a carpenter, a plumber, and an electrician. Madge returned with two numbers in a few minutes, friends of hers who could use the work. Joan sat down and called. One was a plumber and electrician. She made plans for him to come the next day. She needed the water and electric routed for her new washer/dryer set. She left a message for the carpenter as he wasn’t at the number.

Sitting down after running all these errands she sighed heavily. She was tired. The emotional upheaval weighed heavily on her. Thinking about it really got her down. Determined not to let it, she changed her clothes and took a jog on the beach. Gorgeous weather for May. The June glooms hadn’t started yet, where the overcast clouds continually left things gray and gloomy. She must have jogged a couple of miles before stopping for a breather and walking back.

On her way she saw a restaurant called Jack’s with those funky little game pieces that the name implied. It had an upstairs for fine dining and downstairs over the beach for swimmers and beach goers to eat. She headed to the lower level and ordered a fruit salad. It wasn’t busy in the middle of the week and she chatted idly with the bored waitress for awhile. She headed back to the apartment to finish setting up everything she could.

She set up the intercom system which were little boxes. She put one in the studio, one in the kitchen, one in the bedroom, and gave one to Madge to set up in the office. They had switches so you could choose which box you wanted to talk to and they had a speaker like a microphone so once you acknowledged whoever was paging you, you didn’t need to stand at the box and talk to them. They sent out little radio signals so it was all cordless except for plugging them in. Madge called her to be sure they were working and Joan explained that 1, 2, & 3 were in the respective rooms so she could write them down. The next thing she hooked up was her cordless phone system. It was really cool. They were the size of a palm pilot or smaller. It reminded her of Star Trek from the 60’s when they used their communicators. She set the base with the answering machine in the kitchen. The two other set’s were put in the studio and the bedroom. She could pick up any of these and clip them to her belt and put on a headset and totally be hands free. She thought this might be a plus when she was painting.

She put some plants she had bought in the living room near the beautiful window that gave her a view of the houses across the way. In between and over those houses she could see the ocean. It was a deep blue today. Peaceful and relaxing.

That was the last bit of peaceful and relaxing that she had that day as she attempted to put her easy to assemble art table and credenza. It was a good thing she had purchased at Bed Bath and Beyond a complete tool kit. She swore and sobbed in frustration until she got it all put together. It took the rest of the afternoon and into the evening to get it all assembled. She was a perfectionist and when things didn’t line up evenly she pulled them apart and tried again. After hours and hours of sweat and tears she got them together and they looked great. The few supplies she had purchased she put away in the credenza which had some apothecary type drawers which were perfect for art supplies. The drawers in the middle were wide and flat, perfect for pads of paper or artwork. The cabinet front below these drawers would hold cans of paint. The table she positioned so that the glare of the sunlight would never hit the top of the table. She could look out and see the ocean when she wanted.

After a full day she went to fix herself something to eat. She ate off her new plates, using her new silverware, drinking from her new glasses. Halfway through her meal she heard a really odd noise. It kept going for 3 or 4 times before she realized it was her phone. She ran to it and found the carpenter on the other end of the line. She made arrangements for him to come and give her an estimate for some work in the apartment on Monday. After everyone else had come and gone.

With her checklist finished and a totally exhausting day behind her, she went to bed. This was one place she couldn’t totally forget about Grace. It was hard. It caused her to lose sleep. Having not had regular loving in years, to have had it and lost it caused an ache she had never knew could exist.

Over the next few days she had the plumber/electrician rewire and route some pipes to her walk in closet for the new washer/dryer set up. She had her new tv/stereo systems delivered. They set up the tv/vcr/dvd system with surround sound in the living room. It took them hours to get everything adjusted just right. While they were doing that her couch and chairs were delivered. Good timing in her opinion since it all would have to fit together. The tv and dvd/vcr in her bedroom took less than an hour for them to set up with it’s sound system. Shaking her head, remembering the days when it was just plug it in and it worked she couldn’t believe the hassle involved. It took maybe 15 minutes for the guys to install her washer/dryer and hook it up to the plumbing and electrical. The dishwasher was so cute and it just plugged in and hooked up to the water supply, easy and simple. She was thrilled with her new toys. She wasn’t too thrilled with all the warranty and instruction manuals. She spent one whole night just reading the ones for the living room entertainment center.

On Monday the carpenter reconstructed her closet space to section off the washer/dryer from her clothes closet. Each would have it’s space and no dust would get from the dryer into her clothing. When he was done it looked like it had always been there.

Her boxes from Wisconsin arrived on Wednesday. She spent the remainder of the week sorting and putting things away. She called the car rental agency and had the car picked up as she no longer needed it. If she needed to go anywhere she’d call a taxi, take the bus, or if it became a big project, rent another car. If that became a hassle she’d buy one. For now she was content.

That weekend she was able to begin painting again. Her settling in accomplished she threw all her energies into painting. All the pain she had been feeling she redirected to her work. In the weeks and months that followed she did some incredible work.

She purchased another digital scanner that could scan pieces up to 10’ across. She and Madge had it installed in a backroom that had been used for storage. Madge was pleased as now she could offer that service to some of their other artists too. Joan was pleased because she wanted the new pieces out on the internet as soon as possible and the prints begun production immediately. It was simpler to send a CD disk to the printer now. All very high tech. Then she decided to hold off on listing the pieces on the internet until the new catalog came out for a larger impact. Meanwhile, they were ready to begin production on the prints and for once were ahead of things.

~ CHAPTER 8 ~

Grace went to work as usual. She didn’t hear again from Joan that day. Wondering about the surprise that Joan had teased her with made her smile. Joan had something up her sleeve and it was making her very pleased with herself. That night she checked the answering machine and no message. Well, Joan knew her hours pretty well, she’d probably call later when she knew she’d be home. Firing up the computer she checked for emails, nothing there so she decided to send her own. Finding a clever joke she sent that as well. She waited until 10 for Joan to call and then went to bed.

In the morning she checked her emails before work and found both that she had sent Joan were back with the posting reading RETURNED MAIL USER UNKNOWN. Puzzled, Grace checked the email address again, sent the mail again, and waited. Sure enough in a few minutes it was returned, user unknown. That was strange. Looking at the time she decided to call Joan, perhaps she was unaware of her email being down. The phone rang twice before she heard a recorded message telling her that the number she had reached had been disconnected, no further information was available. Since she had called the number from her speed dial, she looked it up and called it again. The same recording came on. Really puzzled now she called the gallery and Yoshi answered the phone. She asked if Joan was in and was told no she wasn’t. She left a message for Joan to call as soon as she got in. Satisfied with that, she went to work. She checked her answering machine at noon but no message. She called the gallery again and left a message with Yoshi. That night when she got home there was again, no message. Beginning to worry as she was expecting Joan to fly in and call for a ride she called the airlines. They wouldn’t give her any information. She called Tracey as she worked for a travel agency. Tracey looked up all the available flights that day and they narrowed it down to two airlines that could have possibly flown out of Central Wisconsin. Then she checked the last 48 hours of flights and found that Joan had flown in the previous morning on the red eye from Minneapolis. Now Grace really was worried. Joan had been in town for two days and not phoned, not even a message. She phoned the Malibu gallery and asked Madge if she had seen Joan. Under Joan’s instructions Madge said she could leave a message and she would forward it to Joan. She didn’t lie to Grace, she just didn’t tell her what she wanted to know. Grace left another message there.

Now what? She didn’t know what to do. This wasn’t like Joan. Joan had often sent her irrelevant emails, jokes, or even what could be termed love letters. Not more than a day or two had passed where some form of communication had occurred, but that business with the phone disconnected and the emails bouncing back bothered her. Calming herself she was sure she was blowing it all out of proportion. Perhaps this all had to do with Joan’s surprise. With that thought she went to bed.

After a couple of weeks of no returned messages, Grace was very hurt and now angry. If Joan had changed her mind about their relationship, why didn’t she just come out and tell Grace. Why this? Why like this? Grace even tracked down the Wood’s Foundation phone number and called Craig, leaving him a message that would not be returned. A second call actually got him on the line but he told her nothing other than his mother was fine and he couldn’t force her to return her messages. Now Grace was truly angry. How childish. If Joan had stabbed her in the heart it couldn’t have hurt any more. Her friends and coworkers started noticing that something was wrong. Joanne finally cornered her one day and Grace confessed it all, the hurt, the frustration, the anger. Joanne was ready to beat the shit out of Joan for her she became so angry. How dare someone treat Grace like this. The hardest part Grace admitted was the not knowing, the why.

Joanne even took it so far as to go the Mailibu gallery. She asked Madge if she might see the artist about a special commission. Madge said it might be arranged and that if Jo left her name and phone number she would get back to her. Joan happened to be in the office while Jo was in the gallery and stayed hidden until she left. The name and number were thrown in the trash with instructions that if THAT woman ever came in again she was to have her requests ignored.

~ CHAPTER 9 ~

Joan was getting ready for a big presentation. She’d been contracted to produce artwork for the new addition at the hospital in downtown Los Angeles. Six months ago she was approached by the director Harold Waterman, who told her what they wanted in the entranceway of the addition. She had her sketchbook handy and showed him a picture of the profile of a beautiful woman with wavy blonde hair looking almost angelic and so peaceful. He leapt at having a portrait such as that in the hospital. It was perfect he said, just what he had been looking for. He asked though, could she do it for only $50,000? Agreeing on the price and signing a contract she had the work done in two months. It was a monster piece. The canvas didn’t even fit in her studio upstairs. She and Madge had to place it in the gallery with a tarp over it. Madge hung pieces behind it to hide it a bit but a 20’ painting isn’t easy to hide. Joan agreed to work on it after hours and into the night. What Harold didn’t know was this was actually a second piece. The sketch he saw was the preliminary drawing of another piece she had finished in her studio, a normal sized portrait with the word GRACE flowing across the bottom.

Joan had thought that perhaps by exorcising Grace from her system in this way that she’d get some peace and quiet. It hadn’t worked completely but it had helped. She wasn’t sure if she would ever sell the piece. It hung in the gallery but without a pricetag. In the six months it hung there, they’d had several inquiries about it. Madge let on that it was part of a private collection that they were holding. She wondered about it as well, Joan would tell her nothing other than it wasn’t for sale. The last week before the unveiling of the piece at the hospital she put it back in her studio.

The piece for the hospital was scanned in sections and then delivered and Joan had been invited for the new addition’s unveiling. They were going to have a huge party and Harold made sure she was coming. He’d even provided her with a date in the form of his nephew Simon. Simon had arranged a limo to pick them up. He was due anytime.

Joan looked in the mirror at her reflection. She was pleased with almost all she saw. She’d let herself go this last year in depression and not taken advantage of what she learned at the spa. She’d felt and looked a bit frumpy. Since the piece called Grace was done though she had started coming out of her shell. Taking long walks on the beach, jogging, spending at least two nights a week at Jack’s where she met new people all the time, all of it had helped. Tonight she was wearing a black dress. She’d found it here in Malibu in a small exclusive boutique frequented by movie stars. When she told the woman behind the counter what the evening was the woman said she had just the thing, she did too. The dress hugged her like a second skin, it’s spaghetti straps holding her bust barely in and pushing it up beyond nature. For once her broad shoulders didn’t bother her. The dress emphasized her trim if too thin waistline. It didn’t infringe on her walking which had been a prerequisite when she went to buy an outfit. It came to mid calf leaving her legs looking long and sexy. The matching shoes made her feel so glamorous. She wore a Chinese pendant of jade with oriental script which meant ‘good health’ in fine gold in the center, she thought that very appropriate for a hospital function. She had matching jade earrings dangling from her ears in the first hole and a gold Chinese script hanging from the second hole. The left side had an gold ear clip with a chain attached to the Chinese script in that ear. She’d thought about getting a third hole pierced in each ear and perhaps a nose ring but she was an artist and they would have thought her way out there beyond where they probably thought she already was. Besides the idea of sneezing with a nose ring gave her the shudders.

Her hair she had fixed the braids so they roped around her head in an elegant way. The length down her back hiding the backless dress. She’d roped it with gold beads and it shimmered with it’s red highlights in the light. She grabbed a satin and cotton blend coat that would cover the dress in any possible weather.

She heard a car in the driveway below her bedroom balcony. Looking out she saw a tall, dark, and handsome man get out of the limousine. He was at least 10 years younger than her. Oh, Gawd! He would have made any woman proud to be seen with. She buzzed him in and in moments he was at the door.

Opening it Simon was struck dumb for a moment. He couldn’t believe his good fortune. What a babe. His uncle had commanded this performance and he had hoped that the woman would be reasonably good looking, but wow he had really lucked out. She was statuesque. He’d been expecting a gypsy from what he’d heard of this artist. She was even a good height to his 6’ frame. Introducing himself with a slight bow he smiled a winning smile.

Joan was amused. This was a VERY good looking man. Why in the world his uncle had fixed them up together she did not know. She could see that she had shocked him and that pleased her. She hadn’t had moments like this in her life and she was cherishing this one. She let him help her on with her coat, he made sure he skimmed his fingertips on her shoulders. She wasn’t certain but he could have also kissed her neck, but when she looked back he was looking oh so innocent. Catching up her purse, she grabbed her keys and dropped them into it. He escorted her to the limousine and tucked her in it.

They chatted nicely and got to know each other on the way across the canyon towards LA, but when he put his hand on her knee, she firmly took it off. He raised an eyebrow in response.

“Look Simon, I’m almost old enough to be your mother, knock it off.”

Laughing it off he tried again later. Joan told him if he didn’t behave himself she’d put an elbow and perhaps a knee into his future fatherhood. He got the hint and behaved himself thereafter even though he found it difficult, her perfume was intoxicating and he told her so.

He told her about himself. He was a doctor in the hospital that his uncle directed. He’d started an internship in psychiatry. He was just 30 years old. Next to him Joan felt ancient.

They arrived at the hotel that was holding the reception. There hadn’t been enough room at the hospital with all the invitations. The steps up to and into the ballroom were carpeted in red for the guests. There were round tables everywhere. A dancefloor. In back of it all was a long table where all the directors of the hospital sat with their spouses. In one corner was a covered 20’ picture displayed so that everyone in the room would be able to see it when it was time. They’d hung it within 5’ of the ceiling and had lights trained on it. Below it and also covered was a table containing brochures and pamphlets, also covered. Simon escorted her to his uncle and they were seated at the long table.

It wasn’t long before the room was full of laughing and talking people. It got quite loud until one of the directors stood up and made a speech. That many people though couldn’t remain absolutely quiet and you could hear discrete conversation and people moving about. Four different directors made speeches of varying lengths. Since none of it was of interest to Joan she was quite bored and spent her time looking about the ballroom. It had beautiful pressed wallpaper lining the 30’ foot high walls with wooden panels separating each section of the wall creating a very definite French look. It was really quite beautiful with the chandeliers glistening.

Finally the fourth director sat down and they were served. Joan had roast chicken with asparagus and new potatoes seasoned with garlic. They served champagne in long flutes. Joan made sure she ate before having any of the champagne, she didn’t want to get sick this evening.

Harold gave everyone a good 45 minutes to eat and when he saw enough people had finished and were milling about he got up to give his speech. He kept it fairly short, thanking all the correct people and noting how their contributions had affected LA Medical Center and allowed them to build the new children’s wing with it’s beautiful new entrance. He told everyone that they were fortunate to acquire the talents of a world renowned portrait artist who had painted them a lovely portrait for the entrance. He introduced Joan Woods.

Fortunately she had finished her meal and done repairs to her make up. Harold had mentioned that he wanted her to say a few words before the unveiling. She stood up and headed to the podium in the center of the long table. It seemed to take forever to walk the length. Every eye in the room was on her, hundreds of them. She was well fortified with an excellent meal and two flutes of champagne. She hadn’t written a speech but she felt well prepared. Finally she reached the podium.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to thank the kind directors of this hospital and in particular Mr Waterman for the opportunity to create this portrait for your hospital. It wasn’t difficult and you might say I was inspired. As you will see it’s beauty and realize how special it is, you will understand how perfect it is for this new wing. In fact I’d like to donate the money I was paid to make this beautiful portrait to the children’s wing.” She hesitated a moment to let the applause die down before continuing, “Without a long speech to further keep you from enjoying this gala, I give you Grace, Hope, Charity, Wisdom, and Compassion.” So saying she flung her arm out and the waiters pulled the ropes holding the drapery from the portrait.

There was a collective gasp and then applause began. It rose in volume as people began to stand and gave Joan an ovation. She had changed the final painting and it wasn’t just Grace in the picture, she had painted children around the bottom of it and it looked like the silhouette ghost angel was looking down on them with the title words across the painting in script on three levels. She stepped down from the podium and began to return to her seat but was stopped by the directors and their wives. She shook dozens of hands, was told over and over how beautiful it was, how generous her donation. Mr Waterman made his way to her and gave her a hearty kiss on the cheek, telling her how happy she had made him and the board. The donation he told her wasn’t necessary but she insisted. She finally explained that she would make it back in prints as per their contract she had the copyright.

People took this as an opportunity to socialize. Many people made their way to the portrait to view it closer and to pick up the matching brochure that was on the table below it. It had a copy of the portrait on the front and information about the gala inside. In small print on the back Joan’s Malibu studio was listed for people to obtain prints of the work. The orchestra began tuning up.

Harold began introducing Joan to people from the hospital. Department by department he introduced people she couldn’t hope to remember. It was amazing how many people he knew. She must have been with him an hour when he took her to another table and began introducing them. They were part of the psychiatric department. He’d introduced four of the doctors and two of the interns when he introduced one more, “And this is our newest acquisition, she hasn’t been with us but six months or so, but she seems to be fitting in well, Doctor Monroe!”

Joan felt her heart beating a mile a minute. She became very warm. She hadn’t in any way been prepared to run into Grace face to face. She hadn’t seen Grace standing there with the rest of the doctor’s as Grace had seen her and deliberately stood behind one of the others. She hadn’t even considered that Grace would be at this gala. Her face gave away nothing, it was frozen with the smile and greeting she had been giving the other doctor’s. She reached out and shook Graces hand as though she was any other of the people she had met that night, impersonal. She was saved from having to say anything by Simon.

“There you are my beauty, Uncle you can’t keep MY date all evening. I MUST have this dance” so saying he pulled Joan away from the group and onto the dance floor.

Laughing at his nephews playfulness Harold shrugged his shoulders at the others and turned to look for his own wife. The doctor’s and their dates returned to their seats, Grace included.

“What say you he tries something on her on the floor” one of the younger doctor’s asked the table at large, his head indicating Simon dancing with Joan. They were all watching Simon and Joan dancing.

“I’ll bet he goes home with her.” Another one contributed.

“She’s too old for him” one of the wives interjected.

“She’s female, she’s breathing, she’s beautiful, that’s all Simon needs” the first doctor answered.

Grace listened to this and more as they compared notes about Simon’s prowess. The general consent was that he was too conceited to land Joan. Simon was so sure of himself and his good looks that he’d been difficult to work with. Since his uncle was on the board he tried to take advantage of the association at every turn. He was so smarmy that many of the doctor’s avoided working with him. He made improper remarks about patients and it was rumored he had dated one or two. Generally no one took him seriously. Grace had never seen Joan dance. She was really good. She and Simon looked a match. Joan didn’t look the ten plus years that she was older than her date, five maybe but with her new look it was hard to tell. Grace could feel herself drawn to Joan again, even after all this time. Her face was warm and her hands had become clammy. She had to pull herself together.

Grace had come with one of the other doctor’s from psych on a purely platonic basis. He understood that she couldn’t bring a woman along as a date for one of these functions. He had the same problem with bringing a man. They had been to one other party like this. Some of their colleagues thought they were dating, instead they were really good friends who understood each others situation clearly.

Grace had seen the woman sitting up at the long table with Simon. The woman seemed very familiar. Grace couldn’t place her though. She didn’t know anyone with cornrows and her contacts were giving her such trouble that she couldn’t see clearly from where she sat at the psych table. The features were familiar though. It bothered her for awhile and then when Harold Waterman had introduced Joan her heart nearly stopped. She hadn’t seen Joan in over a year. Reaching into her purse she pulled out her glasses and studied Joan as she gave her short, impressive speech. She couldn’t believe the change. It was the same Joan but one she had never seen. The hair alone changed a lot about her. It gave her such an impressive look, it made her stand out among the other women. Not many could have pulled the look off, but with Joan’s long hair and the way she had wrapped it along the sides and added gold beading she looked like a Grecian Goddess. Standing there under the spot light the red in her hair glistened and the lights reflected off the beading. The dress clung to her figure and she stood proudly. Grace was stunned. This beautiful woman was Joan. Someone who had occupied her thoughts for months in the last year. She had seriously considered hiring a detective to find her when she realized she was becoming obsessed and dropped it. She hid her hurt. Her friends tried to help but to no avail. Joanne had even offered to kick her ass for her, she had laughed. They all knew how hurt she truly was this time, she had fallen hard and quick.

The dance wasn’t even finished before someone else cut in on Simon. Joan adjusted to his dancing as she had to Simon’s. Grace watched as steady progression of men cut in on each other. Joan must have danced for an entire hour before heading off the floor, refusing another dance.

“Something wrong?” her date leaned over to ask.

Startled Grace turned to look blankly at Rob, confused. “What?”

“Your all flushed, I’d say your pulse is racing a bit from your accelerated breathing, and you seem to be staring at someone. Who is it? Someone from your past?”

“Uh, no. I don’t know, maybe it’s the champagne or something. Excuse me, I need to use the ladies room.” So saying, she got up from the table and headed that way. She noted that Joan had headed that way as well.

It was a large ladies room with couches and chairs in an ante-chamber. There was a slight line despite it’s size and Grace never saw Joan in there. She took time to renew her makeup and to calm herself. When she could tell that Joan must have already left while she herself was in a stall she left the room. Coming out she looked around the gala searching for a cornrowed brunette with red highlights. She spotted one by the bar and headed determinably toward her.

Joan had just ordered a Mimosa from the bartender. They were discussing the relative merits of orange juice as he fixed it for her and he harmlessly flirted with the pretty woman. She had just taken a deep drink of it when she heard someone behind her saying her name. At the voice she dribbled a bit of the full mouth of Mimosa and quickly leaned over the bar to catch it. She swallowed the rest in her mouth. Stiffening her spine she turned to look at Grace who with her quirky little elfin smile was watching her.

“Sorry, did it get you?”

Raising an eyebrow in question Joan looked down. The dribble had been caught by the bar and she whipped it with her napkin. Turning back to Grace, her eyebrow still cocked in question, she waited.

Grace looked her over from head to toes. She had examined her on the podium, when she was being introduced to everyone on their way to her table, when she was at their table, when she danced, Grace was very aware of her standing in front of her. “You look fabulous.”

“Thank You.” Joan wasn’t sure of the protocol in this instance. She was severely uncomfortable but looking at her you wouldn’t have known.

“I’m glad to see you looking so well.”

Deciding to take the bull by the horns Joan plunged in, “was there something you wanted?” Shaking her head to emphasize her words.

Wanted, perhaps, needed? Swirling the words around Grace wasn’t sure where to start. “I was hoping that we might talk.”

“Why?” Joan made it sound as though it were the greatest inconvenience in the world what Grace had asked. “What would be the point?” She took another swig of her drink.

Dumbfounded Grace stared at her. Joan kept her eyes determinately fixed on a spot past Grace’s shoulder. Firmly she answered “I’d like to talk to you.”

“I don’t think this is the time or the place. Furthermore, I don’t think we have anything to say to each other.” The tone was very cold.

Grace was saved from a response by Simon showing up. “Hello, my lovelies.” He put an arm around Joan’s shoulders pulling her close. Her drink began to slosh.

“Watch it.”

Loosening his grip he smiled down into her face with all his charm. “How about a dance sweething.”

Grace was nauseated at the thought. He was so smarmy. How in the world could Joan stand him.

“Simon, I just got my drink. I’d like to actually FINISH this one.” She knew what she was dealing with here.

“But you haven’t danced with me forever.” He whined. Trying to look boyish at the same time. His hand started creeping down her shoulder.

“How would you like a good elbow to the larynx?”

Alarmed his hand stopped. He smiled at her winningly. “Come on, let’s dance. I want to talk to you.”

Ignoring him and Grace who he hadn’t noticed practically at all, Joan downed her drink like it was a shot glass. He shot an admiring glance at her, obviously pleased. He drew her away from Grace and the bar. Grace just stood there and watched them go to the dance floor.

Rob had watched Grace watch Joan all evening. Grace had the most intense eyes. Sometimes when she was impassioned by something at work they made her look so fierce. She wore the emotions of what she was feeling at the moment on her face. The brown eyes were depthless. Tonight she had worn blue contacts to match her outfit. She looked very attractive. Her suit was a deep blue and her skirt was cut very high. She wore a tuxedo jacket which made it look like she wore nothing underneath it. Rob joined her at the bar. “Are you all right?”

Smiling wanly she said yes. She told him though that she thought she should go. It was getting late and she was tired. Giving him an absentminded kiss on the cheek she headed for the foyer and on her way out gave the portrait a good once over. Some of it looked vaguely familiar, she wondered if she had seen it in Joan’s studio or something like it. Reaching the table she took one of the brochures and placed it in her purse. She went over to the coat check and fished out her ticket. Waiting for her coat she overheard a conversation:

“So you don’t mind if I don’t see you home?” a man’s voice.

“Not if you have a better offer I certainly don’t.” At the woman’s voice Grace stiffened recognizing it. Joan and Simon. Turning slightly she saw them out of the corner of her eye. They were standing by a potted fern with Simon’s arm leaning against the wall. Joan was looking up at him as she answered. Her chin raised in defiance.

“Well, I didn’t think you were going to offer?” He asked as though considering it.

“Well that’s what you get for thinking.” Joan answered dryly. Grace almost laughed aloud. That’s it, put the charmer in his place.

Smiling and using all his considerable good looks on her he cocked his head sideways to ask “would you have offered?”

Waiting a moment Joan seemed to consider the offer “hmmm, ahhh nope!”

Losing his smile at her definite but flippant ‘nope’ he asked and you could hear the whine in his voice “why not?”

Laughing at him Joan shook her head. “Simon, I’m old enough to be your mother in a redneck sort of way, besides which your not my type and I’m not yours.”

“Not my type?” He stared at her blankly, totally NOT understanding. “Your female, I’m male. Your sexy, I’m sexy.” He honestly believed the line he was giving her.

“Gimme a break sexy boy, you know I’m not your type. I’m sure the ditzy gal you got panting over you will be more than happy to fill the shoes. I’m fine, you leave me the wheels and I’ll make it back to my place, okay?” Being blunt finally penetrated his brain.

He smiled winningly again. So sure of his charisma. “OK beautiful, but you don’t know WHAT your missing.” So saying, he gave her a salute and sauntered away.

Watching him, Joan mumbled “Oh, I know WHAT I’m missing all right. A case of VD, at the least.” She wasn’t aware that Grace could hear every word. She turned and headed back into the gala. She didn’t even see Grace standing there.

Grace was biting her lips to keep from laughing. What a set down. Poor Simon. The woman with her coat was watching her oddly. She’d been standing there for some moments with the coat as Grace shamelessly eavesdropped on Joan. Taking her coat and giving the woman a tip Grace had a thought. Hurrying out to the parking attendant she spoke with him intently. Shaking his head and holding out his hand unobtrusively she handed him a $20. Still shaking his head she pulled the $20 away and handed him a $50. Nodding he signaled someone to get her car. She had to tip that guy when he delivered it the normal $2.

Joan walked back into the gala to see if she could say goodbye to her benefactor Harold at least. She must have been stopped half a dozen times by people to chat with her and her art. Finally, she reached him and his wife and wished them goodnight. She left the hall and got her coat from the cloakroom. Tipping the gal who looked at her strangely she left the hotel down the red carpet. She signaled to one of the parking attendants not realizing that he had been looking for her. “I need my car, thank you, it’s one of the limousines.” She handed him the ticket. Nodding he signaled one of the other attendants who came up and was handed her ticket.

“Ma’am, that limousine has left with someone else.” He stated blandly.

“Left? How in the heck am I supposed to get home then?” She was definitely annoyed now. After Simon said he’d leave it for her too!

“We can call you a cab if you wish?”

“Please” she stated with no hint of her exasperation.

With a signal he summoned the green Jaguar coupe that was parked discreetly along the line of other cars in front of the hotel. It pulled up right in front of them and he opened the passenger door.

Joan had been staring off into space not seeing his signal or the car. When she looked down in front of her she was confused for a moment. Realizing that the car looked familiar she leaned down a little to look inside at the driver. In an instant she realized what had happened. Angrily she gave Grace a look and then the parking attendant who stood there observing them. Frostily she told him “Either you get me my limo or a cab NOW or I’ll make sure you lose your job over this.”

Alarmed he stepped back.

Grace leaned over and said “Joan, get in the car.”

Giving her another angry look she said “No!”

“Joan, get in the car or I’ll make a scene.”

Looking straight into Graces eyes with all her anger she said “Go ahead.” She made as if to walk away.

Grace tried once more, “Please.”

Sighing loudly through her nose she allowed the parking attendant to help her into the Jaguar. He closed the door with a thunk, grateful that this woman was gone. Grace pulled away from the curb.

“What do you think your doing?”

“Driving” Grace responded dryly.

“Too funny, but was it necessary to kidnap me?” she asked sarcastically.

“Well, you wouldn’t talk to me, so yes it was necessary.” Joan was sure Grace referred not only to the gala but to a year ago.

Joan sat there mutely for awhile and then “Do you know where your going?”

“No actually, where are you staying?” she inquired solicitously.

“Malibu” came the short reply.

Grace steered them onto the 405 freeway and headed south to the 10. The silence in the car was unbearable and it went on for the entire length of the freeways. When the 10 ended she pulled on to Pacific Coast Highway heading north. Finally she broke the spell. “So how are you?” She could smell a perfume that must be coming from Joan, it was musky and she inhaled deeply. A jolt of desire swept through her suprising her.

“Fine” came the tight lipped reply. Joan was looking intently out the window at nothing as it was dark and you couldn’t see far. She just stared out at the nothingness.

“I meant it when I said you looked fabulous tonight.” She offered. This wasn’t going to be easy obviously. Joan wasn’t making any effort.

Joan didn’t answer.

“Is that a new hair style?” Grace tried again. Gawd, this was awful.

“No.”

“Oh, so how long have you had it?”

“Over a year” you could hear the tightness in her voice. There was no give here. What she hadn’t intended was to infer to WHAT had happened a year ago.

Grace ignored the obvious inference of a year ago and said “It looks nice, it suits you.”

No answer.

They were coming up on the first buildings of Malibu. “Where are you staying?”

“The gallery” came the tight, quiet answer.

Trying to remember from when she’d been there once before she started looking along the highway at the buildings. After awhile it began to look familiar.

“There” Joan pointed at a driveway and Grace pulled the Jaguar in. She parked in front of a sign that read ‘Private Parking violators will be towed at owner’s expense.’ Joan reached for the door handle and Grace childishly locked the doors from her side. Joan looked over at her waiting patiently.

“Wait.” There was a pleading note in Graces voice that she tried to quell.

“What now?” The anger was apparent in Joan’s voice. She’d been trying to hold it all in on the ride so far but she was on a short fuse.

“You don’t want to talk to me, fine. At least explain to me why you stopped talking to me last year. I think you owe me that much” Grace was getting angry herself now. Not only AT Joan but at the desperation she was feeling. She wanted to hash this out, she needed to know.

“You really want to get into this NOW?” Joan looked at the digital clock on the dash. It was already 11 PM.

“Now would be nice” the sarcasm slipped out.

Joan was quiet for perhaps a count of 30 thinking it over. Sighing she turned to Grace “Would you like to come in?”

Nodding, Grace turned off the engine and unlocked the doors. Locking them again when both were opened. She put her keys in her purse and slung it over her shoulder, she slammed her car door at the same time Joan did. It was cold with the ocean breeze and she pulled her coat tighter. She followed Joan to a door on the side of the building.

Joan turned off the alarm with her thumb print and a code. Very high tech. Opening the door with a key she reached inside and turned on some lights. Grace followed her down the hall and up the stairs. Another key and they were in the apartment. Joan flipped on the lights by a panel near the door, soft music began from the speakers in the living room. Grace looked around curiously. Joan took off her coat and hung it on the rack by the door. Gesturing, she indicated Grace to do the same “Make yourself at home.” She walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, throwing her purse on the counter bar.

Grace hung up her coat and looked around at the soft lighting. The room they were in was a good size. The kitchen on her right the door at her back she looked into the living room with it’s balcony overlooking the gallery. Plants lined the balcony. A pretty sectional sofa faced the gallery with it’s back to the kitchen and facing a wide screen tv and stereo system. A few books lined the shelves that the equipment didn’t. She could see a hallway leading to the right and a doorway to her left.

“So you stay here when your in town?” she asked looking at Joan.

Joan shrugged, neither confirming or denying it. She took out two goblets and lifted the bottle of champagne she had in her hand raising her eyebrow in mute question.

Grace nodded and proceeded into the living room. She couldn’t see down either the hallway or through the doorway as they were both dark. Turning back to Joan who was filling both goblets half way on the counter bar. Joan lifted a carafe of orange juice and again looked at Grace with the eyebrow raised, again Grace nodded as Joan mixed the drinks. Taking them she handed Grace one and proceeded into the living room.

“Would you like to sit down?” She asked indicating the sofa.

“Actually, may I use your bathroom?” Grace asked.

“Sure, go either way it’s on your right down that hall on your left going that way.” She pointed with her finger gesturing while she held her drink. She sat on the sofa with her back to Grace.

Grace put down her goblet on the bar and headed right. Turning on the light in the hallway it too was soft and lit up not only the bathroom but a room that was obviously Joan’s studio across the hall. She quickly used the bathroom to freshen up staring at her reflection in the mirror. What in the heck was she doing here. Joan made it apparent that she didn’t want her here. What, was she going to force her attentions on Joan? She couldn’t see herself doing that. Yes, she acknowledged, she still wanted this woman who sat out there, but at what cost to her own self esteem. Taking a deep breath she washed her hands and left the bathroom.

Joan looked up as she opened the door. Grace indicated the studio and asked “Would you mind?”

Shaking her head she answered in a dry voice with a clear touch of sarcasm “No, go ahead, I said make yourself at home.” Turning back around she reached again for her drink.

Grace looked in the studio. It was smaller than the loft in Wausau but cleaner and much brighter with the windows facing the ocean. You couldn’t see much outside the windows except for the lights across the street and a few from the beach. Joan was working on a canvas that was set on an easel but she couldn’t tell what it was yet. Turning to leave the room she caught her breath. There on an easel in the corner of the room stood a copy of the painting presented at the gala that evening. It was slightly different though. It was the angel ghost silhouette with the cheekbones, the nose, the curly hair to below the shoulders, her right arm wasn’t holding out to children, no children appeared on this canvas but the word GRACE was in bold italic lettering across the bottom. This probably wasn’t a copy she realized but the original. Mixed emotions flitted across her face. Why would Joan have this? Why the word GRACE, was it a sign? Did Joan feel for her what she still felt for Joan? Was this of herself? So many questions, the only one who could answer them though was Joan herself and so far she wasn’t too inclined to answer any. Grace left the room and turned off the lights including the one in the hallway on her way back.

Joan looked up. She had counted the minutes Grace was in the studio. She realized just about when Grace had seen the portrait. She cringed inwardly wondering what Graces reaction had been. What she had been thinking. What was she thinking now?

Grace indicated the other darkened doorway, “May I?”

Joan got up to get another goblet of champagne and orange juice and said in passing “by all means, help yourself.” She was trying to keep her emotions in check. She wondered though if Grace had guessed once she saw the portrait. Why in the heck though was Grace being so nosy? This wasn’t like her, or what Joan had thought of her. Well they’d both changed or perhaps she never HAD known Grace after all.

Grace flipped the lights beyond the doorway. Track lighting lit up a bed with a bench at the end. A dresser opposite the bench held a TV and what looked like a VCR. There were a few speakers set around the room. Next to the dresser was a cabinet that looked like it held jewelry. Next to that was obviously a closet and next to that another closet. Beyond that was a balcony door. To the right of the bed was another balcony door which must overlook where her car was parked, she hadn’t noticed it when they drove in. The room was pretty bare though of furnishing and the only things on the wall was a set of speakers. To her left was another bathroom. Turning around and shutting off the lights she returned to the living room. Joan was just sitting down with another goblet full as she stretched her legs out and flicked off her shoes.

“You live here” she stated grabbing her own goblet off the bar counter.

“Yes” the tone was very dry, slightly sarcastic.

Grace joined her on the couch, sitting at the other end but facing her. “How long have you lived here?”

Joan was looking at the design on the goblet, a cobalt blue with white crystal cut in the design of the cup, the long handle was clear and the base a cobalt blue as well. Looking up she looked straight into Graces blue eyes and answered “over a year.”

Startled Grace could put two and two together. Joan had obviously moved here about the time of the communication breakdown. A slight understatement of what really happened she thought.

Taking the bull by the horns she decided to try again, nothing ventured, nothing gained, “So, why did you stop calling me last year.” She was starting to get angry as well. She looked defiantly into Joan’s face, waiting for the answer that seemed a long time in coming.

Joan turned the words over in her mind. How should she answer? What was the game that Grace was playing? Did she think Joan was a fool? She must believe that Joan wasn’t the wiser about the situation. Taking a deep breath she looked up from examining the goblet and into Graces blue eyes. What the heck? Blue eyes? Startled for a second she hesitated again in answering, finally “I just didn’t want a threesome, I don’t enjoy sharing.” She surprised herself that it came out calmly.

Of all the things Joan could have said this wasn’t anything Grace could imagine her saying. A threesome? What in the world? “What do you mean a threesome?” Her eyebrows frowned, the worry lines between them showing in stark contrast.

“Do you really wish to play this game?” she answered sarcastically taking another drink from the goblet which was only half full at this point.

Shaking her head at the question “I’m not playing a game, I’m trying to find out what happened” she answered quietly. The music in the background was playing a country music song about cheating.

Joan noted the switch in the song and thought it ironic. Standing up suddenly in her anger and agitation she took her goblet with her as she walked to the balcony, turning around and facing Grace but giving her some distance to work with. “I saw you that day you know? I saw you with that man. I’m not stupid or dense” she shook her head “you could have told me that you were involved with someone else. Instead I had to find out for myself.” She shrugged in emphasis. So saying she drank the rest of her drink. There, she had gotten it all out. She headed for the counter to pour herself another drink.

Grace was shocked. What man? What was Joan talking about? Confused she turned to watch Joan stalk up to the counter for another drink. Her own drink wasn’t half done and Joan was on her third. That must be it, she was drunk. “What day? What man?”

Whipping around, Joan was very angry. So she was going to deny it all then? Lie about it? Damn, didn’t that beat all. “Don’t tell me you don’t know? I SAW it. Why lie about it?”

Patiently in her best doctor’s voice she said “I’m not lying to you Joan, I never did. I don’t know what you saw or thought you saw. All I knew is that you stopped calling. You stopped emailing. You stopped everything. I didn’t know WHAT had happened. I was worried.” That last part she could have left off she felt. Oh, well.

Joan turned and finished fixing her drink. The champagne wasn’t going to last with four goblet’s gone already. Shrugging it off she turned and resumed her stance at the balcony. Her dress sexily showing off her legs. “Dammit Grace, I don’t know what game your playing but I’m tired of it, I don’t wish to play.” You could hear the resignation in her voice. She was tired, it had been a long night. Dealing with Grace just now was causing the tension in her to build.

“I’m not playing a game. I wouldn’t do that to you, EVER.” She emphasized the word. “I’m just trying to get to the bottom of this.”

“Fine. I’ve had enough of this.” She nearly spilled her drink in gesturing. “I came to your apartment that morning as a man left it in a business suit. You were at the door, obviously you just got up, and don’t think I didn’t know what that would look like. You two exchanged a kiss. It was obvious you two were lovers.” So saying she took a gulp of her drink. The hell with it, she’d get drunk. She just didn’t care anymore.

Flabbergasted Grace sat there with her own drink about to take one but it was frozen midway to her mouth which was hanging open. Looking up incredulously at Joan she could see that she was indeed serious. She thought she had caught Grace cheating! Ignoring the obvious reference to seeing what she’d look like in the morning she decided to tackle the other issue. “What man? Joan, I really don’t know what your talking about. I haven’t been with a man in about 20 years, not since college for Christ’s sake.”

Joan was sure she was lying. Her anger flared up and she gripped the goblet stem too tightly. It snapped off in her hand cutting it as it did so. She dropped both but there wasn’t much left in the goblet anyway. Blood flowed. “Oh dammit” she exclaimed.

Grace hurriedly rose to help but Joan brushed her off on her way to the bathroom adjoining her bedroom. Grace followed anyway. Joan turned on the water and ran her hand under it. There were several tiny cuts from the crystal and one really deep one. The sink quickly became splattered with her blood. Mumbling under her breath “shit” she grabbed a towel from the rack to wrap it.

“Let me see” Grace reached for her hand which Joan pulled back so she could wrap it. Annoyed at the childishness of the act Graces anger came through in her tone “You need stitches!”

“I can see that. Thank You” you could have skated on her answer it was so cold. Wrapping the towel around her hand she used her other hand to open the medicine cabinet and pull out a box with the first aid symbol on the front. Grace took it from her angrily. “Hey, I can do that!”

Ignoring her and giving Joan a glaring look she opened it to find a very complete kit. Taking out peroxide, padding, tape, and a scissors she reached for Joan’s hand.

Calming down Joan let her tend to her hand. How she would cut with a left hand anyway was what she thought. Grace took the towel off which had been saturated where the hand was and poured the peroxide on it. Joan hissed air through her teeth. Grace then placed the gauze on the palm of her hand thickly. The first few layers immediately filled with blood and stanched the flow. Taking the tape she cut strips to the appropriate size and taped down the gauze to the hand. One or two strips she hooked through Joan’s fingers for added support. She threw the bloody towel in the sink and began to fill the sink with cold water. Joan gathered up the tape and scissors and put it in the first aid kit with her left hand and closed it, placing it back in the medicine cabinet. Exchanging a look with Grace in the mirror Joan was shocked to feel desire course through her body. It was so strong that her knees almost buckled. How inappropriate she thought as she left.

Grace washed out the towel as best she could. That’s going to stain she thought shaking her head at Joan’s pig headedness and left it in the sink. She turned and dried her own hands on another towel. Leaving the room she flicked off the lights and went into the living room.

Joan was cleaning up the pieces of the goblet and the little spatters of the drink with paper towels, double wadded so she wouldn’t get cut. After she had discarded all in the garbage bin under the sink she pulled out another goblet and filled it with just orange juice. Opening the cabinet above the stove she pulled out some aspirin and took 3. Swallowing them in one gulp she looked over the goblet to see Grace watching her from the doorway.

“What?”

“Nothing. Nothing at all.”

Actually Grace had been about to insist that they get the hand stitched but seeing as how Joan was all set for a fight she hoped her ministrations would be enough. She sat again on the couch.

Joan sighed quietly. She joined Grace on the couch but sat at the other end, far enough from her on the 6’ couch as she could go. She knew she wouldn’t be escaping this conversation very long. That was one thing she remembered about Grace. She’d get her teeth in a conversation and away they went. It must be her psychiatric training she thought ruefully. Joan sat looking down at her hand, hoping it wasn’t serious. She was right handed and that could be a problem with her painting. The water had stung when she ran it under the tap and the peroxide had bubbled immediately. She was pretty sure it had stopped bleeding though. It was a real pain as all wounds of this type were. Hell of a lot worse than a paper cut she thought, laughing at herself.

Grace looked at the hand from her position on the couch too. She knew it should have stitches. She knew Joan was right handed and this could affect her painting. Well, she couldn’t force her to go to the hospital. “Joan” she said quietly.

Joan looked up. Graces voice had been so gentle it caught her unawares. What she didn’t know was that Grace could read the sadness in her face now.

“Joan” she repeated “I don’t know what you saw” she shook her head for emphasis. Her face was quiet and concerned “I wouldn’t have done that to you.”

Shrugging as though it didn’t matter Joan answered “I know what I saw Grace.”

“I’m not doubting you, I’m really not. I just don’t understand it. The last thing I remember is the phone call where you said you had a surprise for me and then nothing. I heard nothing from you again.” She said it so gently that Joan could hear the angst in the word nothing.

Annoyed at allowing Grace to manipulate her like this she retorted “if you had changed your mind about us you should have just told me. I’m an adult, I could have handled it.”

“I never changed my mind about us. It was you I thought who had changed her mind.”

Something about this just didn’t make sense. To either of them. Looking puzzled at Grace, Joan replied with that tone “if you weren’t cheating on me then who was that guy I saw you kissing that morning?”

“Why don’t you explain to me what you saw that morning? I don’t remember even kissing a guy.”

Sighing heavily and resigned Joan explained about coming in on the red eye that morning. This Grace already knew from Tracey’s investigation so she knew it to be true. Joan explained that she rented a car and came over to her apartment to catch her before she went to work. She told how when she walked up the walkway the guy had just been leaving and he turned back to give Grace a kiss. How Grace was dressed led to the obvious conclusions.

Something about Joan’s explanation rung a bell. Grace wasn’t quite sure what yet though. She could tell that Joan was telling her version of the truth as she saw it.

Joan finished simply. She described the man as best she could as well as the car he drove leaving Grace to form her own conclusions of what Joan had seen. At the mention of the car Grace realized who it must have been. Not many people drove a mustard colored car anymore.

“That must have been Terry.” She stated. Then added for Joan’s benefit “you know Terry, Tracey’s brother.” As though that explained it all.

Having Grace confirm she knew the man didn’t help at all. It actually hurt more. Joan wasn’t sure what hurt more at the moment, her heart or her hand.

“Look, he needed a place to stay that night. Nothing happened. His girlfriend kicked him out and he couldn’t get a hold of Tracey is all.” Grace leaned forward to emphasize her point. She wanted to reach out and touch Joan but wasn’t sure she wouldn’t be rejected. “He slept on the couch and I made us coffee, that’s all.”

Joan looked back and forth between Grace’s eyes to see if she was telling the truth. She wanted to believe her. She did believe her. After a year of hurt to find out her assumptions were all wrong she was deeply ashamed. She’d jumped to the wrong conclusions. Been judge and jury and not even given Grace a chance to explain. Gawd, what a child she had been, you hurt me so I hurt you back. Only she had done one better, she had cut Grace totally out of her life. With these thoughts swirling around in her head she just sat there.

A long time passed before she finally said quietly “God I’m sorry Grace. I saw him kiss you and saw the way you were dressed, and just assumed the worst.” She looked down at her hands shaking her head at her stupidity she continued “what an idiot I was.”

Grace realized that Joan was berating herself, worse than anything she could say. Joan’s face told of the hurt she had caused and felt. “That was it? That was why you stopped calling?” She was getting angry herself. At Joan’s nod she continued “Why couldn’t you at least have asked?”

Joan looked up, her green eyes pleading “Grace, it was all so new. What we felt, definitely what we did. I thought the worst. I thought you were using me or something. Call it immaturity, call it cowardice, I just didn’t have the confidence for the relationship and what I saw. I think it was natural for me to assume the worst. We were still getting to know each other. It was so intense.”

Grace sat there quietly for awhile thinking over the hurt of the past year. How she had felt when Joan was out of contact. It was still a raw wound. She was glad to know the cause. Damn that Terry, of all the rotten timing. But no, she couldn’t blame him. It was rotten timing but just a coincidence. How could they have known Joan was going to be there at that moment. Their kiss had been as friends, no more. Wow what a mess. It could have been solved so quickly too. If only Joan had demanded to know what was going on. Instead they both had been hurt deeply. All for an innocent kiss. Remembering something she asked frowning “What was the surprise you had for me?”

Joan watched the emotions flick across Grace’s face. The hurt in her chest was easing a bit. Hope was beginning to take it’s place. Blinking for a second at the question she indicated her braids with her left hand pulling a few out to emphasize her gesture. She was studying Grace’s face searching for forgiveness for her stupidity.

“That was all?” Grace asked although she admired the rich beautiful braids.

Taking a deep breath as the conversation seemed to be turning toward neutral territory Joan explained how she had gone to the spa and that she had bought a whole new wardrobe, the morning she was coming to Grace’s was to tell her that she was moving to California permanently and that their relationship needn’t be long distance anymore.

After this recitation was finished Grace asked with a catch in her throat “And now?”

Not sure what Grace meant she answered “Now what?”

“Would you like to resume our relationship, our friendship?” She sat there holding her breath for the answer. She was studying her goblet in her hand.

Incredulous at Grace forgiving her for her unfair stupid actions she sat there a moment and answered very quietly “No, I don’t think so.” Shaking her head.

Grace felt her heart squeezing, she couldn’t believe that Joan wouldn’t be willing to start again.

Joan leaned forward and with her left hand touched Graces hand grasping it. With her bandaged right hand she lifted her chin “I would like to start over though, if you want.”

Joy showed in Graces eyes instantly. Leaning forward she placed her goblet on the coffee table and then she pulled Joan’s left hand farther forward and pulled Joan off balance to give her a kiss. She soon had her hands going through Joan’s braids pulling her head closer to her. She leaned back as Joan fell against her relishing the weight. Joan used her hands for leverage to get better control and her right hand hit the arm of the couch causing her to wince in pain and pull back, hissing through her teeth, she sat back looking in anger at her hand. Grace sat up concern written all over her face. “Are you okay?”

“Yea, but this damn cut hurts like hell.” She was looking to see if any blood had seeped out of the bandage.

“Why don’t you let me take you to the hospital so they can look at that” she offered solicitously.

Smiling ruefully Joan looked up into Graces concerned eyes “No offense, but I hate hospitals” shaking her head slightly she continued “I won’t go.”

Shaking her own head at Joan’s stubbornness she offered “Then let’s look at it properly. If you won’t go to the ER then we should take care of it otherwise.”

“I thought we had?”

Rising from the couch Grace pulled her up and inquired “Do you have any super glue?”

Puzzled Joan nodded and said “In the studio.” She cocked her head in the direction of that room.

Grace grabbed her left hand and pulled her along. Flicking on the lights she looked around, spotted the credenza, and headed for it, still holding Joan’s good hand. Amused now Joan watched her look over the art supplies that were strewn over it. “Where is it?”

Opening one of the apothecary drawers Joan looked inside and reached for the tube which she handed to Grace. Grace pulled her out of the studio, flicking off the lights on her way. She headed for the master bedroom bathroom and flicked on the lights there. She pulled Joan forward and began removing the dressing from her right hand. Joan just stood there watching her. The bleeding had stopped from the thick layer of gauze. Grace put the hand under warm water to ease off the three layers that had blood on them. It started to bleed again, dripping on the towel that had been left in the sink. Grace used the clean gauze to staunch it and had Joan hold it there while she unscrewed the cap to the super glue. Joan caught on to what she was doing and pulled the gauze away while Grace dabbed it down the deep cut on her hand. It bonded instantly. A little blood mixed with it. The cut was a full inch long and Joan held her hand still for Grace. The smaller cuts could be seen but they weren’t bleeding and Grace left those alone. When she was finished a small rise of glue was down the length of the cut. Grace looked up and smiled at Joan as she screwed the cap back on the tube. Remarking on the cleverness of Grace she leaned forward and kissed her. It rapidly became heated as they both realized the relief of finding out the truth this evening.

Putting the tube down on the counter Grace used both hands to hold Joans face still. She moved her hands alongside her face and down her hair in back. Unable to find where her hair ended, it was so long, she brushed it aside to caress Joan’s back and pull her closer.

Keeping her right hand out of the way Joan was pulling at Graces shoulder herself. She deepened the kiss as Grace pulled her closer, breathing in Graces perfume.

Grace kissed along the tops of Joan’s pushed up breasts. Graces hand caressed down to the small of her back then on to her butt to gently squeeze it closer. At the contact on her butt Joan moaned out “Grace.” Joan wasn’t sure if the tingling in her body was due to the champagne or her rising desire.

Caressing each more and more fervently as time went on, it was apparent they wanted each other desperately. Joan tried to unbutton Graces jacket with her left hand but it was awkward and Grace had to help. Reaching into the jacket she started caressing Graces bare skin. Grace could feel the warmth of Joan’s hand, it was sending her into a fevered response. She wanted this woman so badly, been denied her for over a year. She searched for the zipper to Joan’s gown, it wasn’t at the back and she found it under her right arm, she slipped it down in a whoosh. The gown fell away from Joan’s body, the dress had supported her breasts without a bra. Grace felt her knees weaken seeing that Joan wore absolutely nothing under the dress as it puddled at their feet. Joan reached to pull Graces jacket off her shoulders but one handed didn’t work very well and Grace finally just pulled it backwards off her shoulders. Underneath was only a black satin bra. Joan reached for the skirt button and Grace had to help her there too. Grace stood there in only black bikini underpants and bra as Joan admired her body under the bathroom light. Grace took in an eyeful as well. Joan had lost weight since she had last seen her. Grabbing Graces hand with her good left hand she led her to the bedroom and beside the bed began kissing her over and over, caressing her body with her left hand, holding her right lightly on Graces shoulder, fingertips only to keep her balance. Grace took her in her arms heatedly returning caresses. Her knees began to buckle and she sat down suddenly on the bed, tugging Joan on top of her she fell backwards and Joan’s braids scattered about them. Feeling downwards she found Joan to be very hot and wet to the touch. Joan moaned at her touch and reached downwards herself finding Grace equally hot and wet, she didn’t hesitate to insert her finger. Now Grace was moaning with her need. In no time at all she came quite hard. Gasping at it’s intensity she increased her efforts on Joan, kissing her heatedly she caught Joan’s first orgasm as Joan let out little shrieks of ecstasy into her mouth.

An hour later they had pulled the sheets down and climbed into bed to cuddle. Joan leaned the back of her head against the front of Graces shoulder as Grace put her arms around her to hold her. Talking quietly they caught each other up on the past year. What each had done, how they had felt in the separation, what they each had done since.

Grace was happy to hear how much work Joan had done. She hadn’t seen anything new on the internet and she had checked periodically hoping to see something that would give her a clue of the silence. When she saw no new work this had worried her too. Joan explained about a new catalog and how she wanted to put the new items in there and release them on the internet simultaneously.

Grace told her how she had had to look for a new job because when she started looking around to see what was out there and when it had gotten back to UCI they had made things awkward. She didn’t tell Joan that she had looked around in Wausau, perhaps later she would. She’d been at LA Medical for about six months. Then she mentioned that she worked with Simon, hoping to see a reaction out of Joan about that. She knew she didn’t need to be jealous of Simon, given what she had witnessed at the gala, but she wanted to hear it from Joan.

Joan laughed at the reference to Simon telling her how his uncle had set it up and telling her how he had kept hitting on her. He was a charming, irresponsible, BOY and of no interest to Joan. Slyly Joan looked up at Grace, why would she need a boy like that when she wanted a woman like Grace?

Flattered Grace leaned down and kissed Joan. In that kiss was all the forgiveness she could muster. Joan was still kicking herself for it all but the kiss was very reassuring. With that they cuddled and went to sleep.

~ CHAPTER 10 ~

An insistent voice came from the intercom “JOAN!” It was repeated in the kitchen, the studio, and then again in the bedroom. “JOAN?”

Sleepily Joan looked around, for a moment disoriented. It was her intercom system. Reaching for it she hit the speaker button. “What?”

“Joan? Did I wake you?” It was Madge from downstairs in the gallery.

“That’s okay, I should be up. Whatcha want?” she squinted at the clock. It was slightly after 10.

“There’s a car parked in the drive, do you want me to have it towed?”

Thinking for a count of five she answered “a green Jaguar?”

“Yes”

“No, that’s a friends car, just leave it.” She reached for the speaker button to turn it off when she heard Madge again.

“Did you know your phones are turned off upstairs, not even the machine is on?”

“No, I didn’t. Why did someone call there?” She was trying hard to wake up. She went to rub the sleep out of her eyes and instead poked herself in the eye when she saw her right palm again.

“Yeah, Craig called and asked that you call him as soon as your in. Also someone called Jack called and say’s he’s looking for you to stop by?” Questions like this always made Madge sound like Joan was dating a million and one guys.

“Okay, thanks, anything else?” Her eye was smarting and she was blinking rapidly to keep it from tearing up too much. She’d forgotten to remove her makeup the previous evening as well. It felt a bit caked on.

“Nope, nothing else. See you later?”

“Yeah, see you.” She reached over and pushed the speaker button to disconnect. If Madge had pushed hers it would be enough to disconnect but she wasn’t taking chances of leaving the channel open. Remembering last night fully now with her hand hurting a bit she reached across the bed and looked to see it empty. Hearing water running in the bathroom she reached to the speaker phone and auto dialed one of her sons numbers. Laying back against the pillow with her hands tucked under it her face towards the phone she waited for him to answer.

“Hello?” It was Jane.

“Hi Jane, it’s me Joan, is Craig around?”

“He’s been trying to reach you for two days. Hang on, I’ll call him.” With the grace of a pig caller she yelled “CRAIG!” which came clearly through the speaker. Any chance of Joan being sleepy still, was eliminated with that screech. She thought she could hear the baby crying in the background. She heard Jane tell him it was ‘his’ mom.

“Mom?”

“Hey honey, what’s up?” She stretched, cracking her neck and legs.

“Where’ve you been Mom? I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.” Exasperation was in his tone.

“Oh I had that gala yesterday. I didn’t realize I’d turned off the machine. Sorry about that. What’s going on?”

“Did I wake you or something? You sound muffled.”

“Well, actually I was asleep until Madge called. It was kind of a late night.” She tried not to yawn into the speaker.

“Did you have a good time?”

Remembering her evening she smiled at the question and answered “Yes, I did. You didn’t call me though to ask me about the gala did you?”

“No, some old guy by the name of Richardson was trying to reach you at the foundation. He said he was accepting your offer but that he needed the money immediately. By Monday at the latest.”

Thinking quickly she absorbed this information. Sitting up in and swinging her legs off the bed she leaned over the phone. “Richardson you said?”

“Yes, that’s right, Richardson. What’s this all about?” Craig hated being left out of the loop. Information was important in his business.

“Say, you get a $50,000 cashiers check messengered over to him immediately with a standard purchase contract. I want that sown up immediately. It’s some land I wanted and he thought he could get double.” Excitement tinged her voice.

“$50,000 on a Saturday? Come on Mom, I’m not a miracle worker.” Exasperation was in his tone.

“Sure you are, that’s why you do what you do. Don’t tell me you can’t get that money today? Take it from my personal account if you must, but I want that land. You hear me?” With that tone, he was left in no doubt.

“Okay, I’ll take care of it. Want me to look at the land for you?”

“No, just make sure everything is clearly marked as to the property lines and all on the map. I gave your assistant a file folder about a year ago regarding it. It’s clearly marked Richardson on it. Just make sure the property marks line up okay?”

“All set then. Is this anything special I should worry about?”

“No, it’s a personal venture. Just hang on to the land for me.”

“Okay, anything else?”

Wanting to share some of her joy with someone she asked “Bet you can’t guess who I ran into last night?”

“Dr. Monroe?” He didn’t even hesitate to ask. He knew how friendships were important to her. He didn’t know the details of why she had broken off contact with Grace last year just that it had hurt her.

“How did you guess that?” She was quite taken aback.

“Well the gala was for a medical center. How many doctor’s do you know?” He laughed at her.

“Okay smarty pants, take care of my land deal.” Shaking her head at her brilliant son’s deductions.

“Will do, I’ll email you the details. Later Mom, I love you!”

“I love you too, bye” reaching over she pushed the speaker button off. Looking around the room towards the bathroom she saw Grace leaning against the bathroom doorway brushing her teeth and watching her. Smiling she said “Good Morning.”

Grace returned the smile and replied “Good Morning.”

Seeing that elfin smile again made Joan’s heart do flip flops. It had been too long. Looking about for something to put on to cover herself she noticed that Grace was wearing her bathrobe. Shrugging she headed to the dresser naked and pulled out underwear, a polo shirt, socks, and shorts. Then she headed for the bathroom. Grace was still in there brushing her teeth. “Is that my toothbrush your using?” She asked.

“Yep,” came through a mouthful of paste and spit.

“Oooh yuck” she replied laughing.

Grace spit in the sink and washed the spit from the side. Rinsing the toothbrush she returned it to it’s spot in a cup. Turning to look at Joan as she held her clothes she asked “Yuck? Sharing a toothbrush is yuck?” she was grinning.

“Well yeah, that’s kind of personal ya know?”

Laughing she shook her head and reached over to kiss Joan. It was so nice to be there. So nice to have that ease back. Smiling she just looked at her for a moment.

Joan took the opportunity to ask “Were you wearing blue contacts last night?” Her brown eyes were back.

“Yes, I took them out, they were bothering my eyes.”

“They made your eyes seem to match your suit.”

“You noticed.”

“I notice a lot about you.”

Exchanging another kiss, Grace swatted Joan’s naked behind. Smiling that she had gotten Joan to jump she turned and left her the bathroom. As she left Joan called “Help yourself to any clothes in my dresser.”

Joan put the clothes on the counter and turned on the shower. Waiting for it to heat up, she closed the door but did not shut it completely. She noted that her dress and Graces suit were both hanging over an empty towel rack. She turned back to take her shower and get rid of the make up on her face. It took over half an hour to wash out her braids.

When she came out with a towel wrapped around her head holding in her braids she was dressed except for shoes. Padding into the kitchen on stocking feet she found Grace looking through her cupboards. “Something missing?”

“You don’t seem to have any coffee or tea.”

“That’s because I don’t use them.” She smirked, a dimple showing in her cheek.

“Well then, what am I going to use to wake up?” So saying Grace yawned.

Reaching into one of the open cupboards Joan grabbed the cocoa packets. Grace raised an eyebrow at her. Joan then reached into the refrigerator and pulled out some milk. She poured this into a machine that looked like a blender. Then she added four of the packets of cocoa. Plugging this machine into a socket she put a lid on the contraption and stood back.

“I hope you like cocoa?” she asked.

“That’s a hot cocoa maker?”

“Yep.”

“I’ve never heard of such a thing. I suppose though, they have machines for everything else, why not cocoa. How does it taste though?”

“It’s pretty good. Especially when we’ve had a rainy cold morning down here at the beach.”

Taking Joan in her arms she murmured “mmmm” to that thought. She nuzzled Joan’s neck as Joan nuzzled hers. It was quiet except for the hot cocoa maker with it’s whizzing sound. Holding each other quietly was nice, very nice. Joan pulled back first.

“Do you have any plans for today?”

“Well tonight I have a party to go to but other than that the day is free.”

“Would you like to walk on the beach and maybe stop for some lunch?”

“Sounds good, anyplace special?”

“Well I’m a regular at Jack’s, it’s a nice restaurant on the beach. Upstairs is for formal dining, downstairs is more laid back for the beach goers. More of a hamburger shack.”

“This wouldn’t be the Jack that your manager mentioned would it?” Grace kept the jealousy she was feeling out of her voice. She had listened unashamedly at Joan’s conversations. Well, they’d not been together for a year. She couldn’t expect Joan to have remained celibate. Disappointment was what she was feeling. All over a damn misunderstanding.

“You listened?” Joan asked surprised.

“No, more like, couldn’t help hearing.” Actually Grace had been up for over an hour before Joan. She hadn’t had as much to drink and when she woke up she was disoriented until the previous night came rushing back. Turning to watch Joan sleep for awhile she smiled at the remembered passion. They both had been heated, impatient, wanting. It had been an incredible hour and Joan had seemed more experienced than she remembered, more adventurous. She examined Joan from head to waist where the sheet covered her. Joan was laying with her hands tucked under the pillow, her face towards Grace on the edge of the pillow. Her face was so serene in sleep. She snored a little as she slept. Her braids were laying haphazardly over her shoulder brushed away from her face but in long ropes across her back diagonally. Noticing Joan’s back Grace frowned in concern. Almost every rib could be seen clearly. This woman was almost skeletal. It was kind of eery in the light of day. She had noticed a slimmer Joan while making love with her but not this slim. This was sick.

Turning over onto her back she stared up at the skylight for awhile thinking about her day. Finally she slipped out of bed and borrowed Joan’s robe. She hopped in the shower and used some of Joan’s wonderful smelling shampoo and conditioner, some sort of natural botanical stuff. It made her hair feel wonderful. So soft and satiny. When she brushed out her hair, it took her awhile to even find a brush tucked away in a drawer, Joan must not use it often, her hair dried quickly and very very lush, she removed her hair from the brush and dropped it in the waste bin. Her curls from her biannual perm looked so soft. She examined her face in the mirror and could see those darn contacts that had bothered her all evening. Retrieving her purse from the living room she took out her contact case and removed the blue contacts. Reaching for a second case she put in her normal clear contacts, relieved at the difference.

She looked in the mirror again and thought she could see happiness. She knew she felt it. She was relieved that she and Joan had hashed things out last night, the ending of the evening was even better she thought smirking. Leaving the bathroom she went out to the living room and looked around in the light of day. The soft music was still playing around the room. Going into the studio she again examined the portrait. She stood there so long that she jumped when she heard “JOAN” coming from an intercom. Hurrying back to the bathroom she looked for and found Joan’s toothbrush. She ran water over it and filled the top with toothpaste, taking it to the door she watched as Joan woke up and fumbled at the intercom. She was still so sleepy. Grace listened with interest to both conversations, making no effort NOT to. Making no effort to brush her teeth either with the toothbrush in her hand. Joan so casually mentioned sending out $50,000. Gawd, was she really that rich? Grace had never asked. She felt it was none of her business. She supposed though that a woman who owned a gallery in Malibu would have money. Joan didn’t act like she had money though. Her clothes never indicated it. Grace hadn’t seen the new wardrobe yet. She saw Joan look around for her robe or something to wear. She was pleased when she looked up at her and said good morning. Grace returned to quickly brush her teeth.

“Yes, Jack is the owner of Jack’s. He wants me to paint some art for his restaurants. All five of them.” She raised her eyebrows up and down and her eyes twinkled. She thought of something and the twinkle went out of her eyes.

Grace noticed how quickly the twinkle left and wondered at it’s cause. “What?”

“Well I should tell you that Jack’s become a close friend.”

Graces heart took a plunge. It actually hurt. “How close” she managed to get out looking straight into Joan’s face for the answer.

“Well he’s hit on me a few times. Kissed me once even. I explained to him that I wasn’t interested in taking our friendship to that level. I also implied that I had had a relationship last year that had gone bad and I was trying to get over that. I didn’t name names.” She could sense Grace’s unease and wished to reassure her. “Nothing ever happened, he IS just a friend.”

Relieved to have this said, Grace smiled and hugged her close. “Sorry, I don’t have the right to make demands. It has been a year. For all you knew we were over and done with.”

“Grace.” Joan pulled back. “Where are we going to go with this?” She knew how hurt she had felt, she could only imagine what Grace was feeling.

“Well I’d like to think we are starting over. Clean slate. If we take it one step at a time we should do okay. I’d like to ask though that if you ever have doubts about us or me that you just ask?” She smiled a little ruefully referring to last year’s problem.

Kicking herself mentally at her error she was relieved that Grace WAS willing to start over. “OK, total honesty, well not total.” she hedged and then squeaked at Grace squeezing her, “All right, all right” she smiled “I’ll talk I swear I will” she held up her right hand “honest indjun!”

Grace took the opportunity to look at the hand grasping it before Joan could lower it. The glue had held the night through. The shower had taken some bits away and washed the smaller cuts clean, you could barely notice them. She was still annoyed that Joan wouldn’t go to the hospital though for stitches.

“It worked” Joan said unnecessarily.

“Your going to have to watch that for infection.” Grace stated solemnly. As a doctor she probably should have insisted that Joan go in. She didn’t want to start a fight though with the relationship just re-starting.

“I will” she promised.

Just then the hot cocoa stopped swirling, it was done. Joan reached into a cabinet for two mugs and poured hot frothing cocoa from the maker. There was enough for four so the rest she left in the maker. Handing Grace a mug she took her own to the bar counter and placed it down. She reached into the refrigerator and took out some bread and butter. “Would you like some toast?”

“Yes, two please, I’m going to get some clothes on though first. You said I could help myself?” Grace placed her mug near Joan’s.

“Sure, the dresser is your best bet.”

Grace felt weird going through Joan’s clothes looking for something to wear. The bra’s were out as Joan was bigger than she. Underwear, all of it was sexy. She didn’t remember Joan having such eclectic tastes before. She found a fairly nice pair of panties that weren’t as sexy as the rest. A T-shirt and jeans that didn’t meet her ankles were next she was taller than Joan so that was to be expected. It was the style to wear jeans like this though she didn’t feel too uncomfortable in them. She checked in the closet and found that although she was taller than Joan her feet were at least two sizes smaller. A pair of flip flops for her feet she could manage. She draped the bathrobe over the bench at the end of the bed and headed for the kitchen.

Joan looked at her over her mug as she came in the kitchen. “You look comfortable.” She said smiling.

“I’ve noticed something about you. You’ve changed since last year.”

“Well, it has been a long year you know.”

“Yes but there is just something else. I remember things about you from before and then I see things that are definitely not what I remember.” She was not making sense she felt.

Laughing a little, Joan put down her mug and reached for the toast she had buttered. Taking a bite she pushed a second plate to Grace. She reached into the refrigerator and handed Grace two jars of obviously home grown jelly. One of strawberry, one of grape. Joan reached in for a third jar and pulled out cherry which she placed on the counter. She continued the conversation as she pulled three spoons from the drawer and then three knives for the jelly. “Well people change.”

“Yes, but this is subtle. I can’t put my finger on it all yet.” Grace reached for the cherry jelly and noticed a fake frown on Joan’s face.

“Is it good change or bad change?” then with a frown “Hey, watch it, that’s my favorite.”

Laughing a little she answered “Well, I SHARE.” Then “I think it’s a good change.”

“Like what?”

“Well your hair is obvious. Then there is the clothes. I don’t think you OWNED a gown such as the one you wore last night.” Joan was nodding in agreement as Grace went on, “your underwear is sexier.” Joan smirked. “Then you seem more self assured and then I hear about this Jack. Are you sure there is nothing there?”

“Grace, Jack is ONLY a friend. I considered him for about 3 seconds. Yes, I’ve been very lonely this last year but I had no desire to SEE anyone that way. After the spa I wanted to improve myself. I’d been lacking and just plain lazy in a lot of ways for too many years. Maybe I just wanted to grow up. You were the first person in years who took an interest in ME, only ME. At first some of it was to impress you. Since that didn’t come about the way I had hoped I let it be about ME. I haven’t been out a lot this past year really. Few people have seen me other than a jog or walk on the beach. I’ve been a hermit” she admitted this with a self deprecatory smile “but I am more confidant because I like what I’ve done for and to myself.” She took a bite of her jelly toast. She reached into the refrigerator again and looked for her orange juice. Remembering she looked up and saw it sitting on the living room coffee table from last night. She reached instead for a carafe of apple juice and poured two glasses for them.

“Are you happy?” Grace wondered in all that Joan had told her. She finished her first piece of toast and reached for the mug of hot chocolate. It had cooled a little so she could drink it. It was very chocolate and good.

“No” she looked directly at Grace as she said this “I realized how lonely I really was. I needed friends and family about occasionally. I’ve lived like a monk in a monastery. I was grateful to be making friends with Jack and a couple others at the restaurant. The friends I had when I lived here years ago have gone on to their own lives. I thought about contacting you but I was so hurt, so very hurt. Now I’m just grateful your here now.” Her eyes teared up and Grace leaned across to hug her.

“Let’s just put that behind us okay?”

Joan nodded and blinked away the tears. Smiling she finished her first piece of toast “Do you want some fruit or anything else?”

“No, this is fine. Do you always eat so light?” She was remembering the ribs she saw this morning.

“No, I usually have a banana or a fruit cup or both with this and yogurt. Most days that is. Somedays I forget though.”

“You forget more than somedays don’t you?” She asked gently. She didn’t want to antagonize her.

“I don’t know. It depends on what I’m working on at the moment. If I feel the need to work I head into the studio. I eat whenever I remember.” She shrugged it off as being no account.

“That isn’t healthy you know?” She chided.

“Well, it just happens. It isn’t intentional. I’ll catch up eventually.” She shrugged, she really didn’t worry about it except when it made her light headed.

Grace let it drop and they began discussing the day. Grace wanted her to come with her to the party that evening. Joan wasn’t sure she wanted to. Being a hermit the last year had given her a calmness. Last night had really been a big deal for her. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to go out that evening too.

They discussed it as they walked on the beach. They could link arms here and not feel self conscious. Grace had more of a problem about public displays than Joan did but even she couldn’t resist just holding Joan even if it was elbow to elbow. They walked for more than an hour before heading back. Grace wasn’t used to this much or this kind of exercise. The ocean breeze was wonderful and cleared their heads. Joan still had been a bit under the weather from drinking too much the previous evening. She’d noticed that the level of champagne and orange juice was lower than expected as she threw them away. Joan took them to Jacks, downstairs. She introduced the waitress to Grace mentioning that Grace was her best friend. They weren’t there fifteen minutes before a very fit bearded man came rushing over.

“Joan” he said, obviously delighted.

She stood up and he hugged her, trying to kiss her on the lips but she turned her head so he brushed her cheek. Smiling at eluding him she introduced Grace. He noticed immediately how she lit up for Grace.

“Ah, this must be the unhappy love affair you had last year, yes?” He grinned as he seated Joan and then sat himself at the table.

Shocked Joan could only stare.

He laughed outright at her face. “Come come Joan, I’m not stupid. This is a beautiful woman. You’ve been unhappy for as long as I’ve known you, not that that hasn’t been to my benefit eh?” What he alluded to Joan had no idea. “Now this is the happiest I’ve ever seen you, she must be the reason, right?” His hands gestured as he spoke. Happy in his declaration he was so sure of himself.

Joan was very uncomfortable. Grace was looking on in surprise. She and Jack had never had but one kiss. It had been pretty bad for her although he seemed to enjoy it. Anger replaced the uncomfortable feeling. Jack could very well jeopardize the relationship she had just started again with Grace, she wouldn’t let that happen. “Jack, you know very well nothing has ever been between us!”

“Yes, well I did try!” Smiling cockily at her with a wink.

“Knock it off Jack. I don’t find this funny at all.” She was angry clear through.

Surprised at her anger he calmed down immediately. He had been only teasing. He was a little hurt to find that she hadn’t denied that this woman was her lover. Glancing at Grace he was sure she wasn’t too thrilled at the teasing either. “So, you come here to make my restaurant beautiful eh? When will I see the sketches?”

Deciding to ignore what just happened Joan explained her plan for the works he had commissioned. She told him she needed his signature on a contract and a check for half of each of the 7 pieces she had agreed to.

He told her they’d be by on Monday. He left them smiling as he went, happy without a care in the world.

“He’s a bit much isn’t he?” Grace said dryly.

Joan looked at Grace guiltily. She wasn’t sure what to say but was pleased when she saw on Grace’s face that she was laughing.

Grace had had slight concern hearing about Jack. Meeting him though she knew he wasn’t Joan’s type even if he’d been charming. Instead she felt he’d been kind of rude.

“Do you get that often?” she asked.

“Get what often?” Joan was a bit confused.

“That kind of person who expects something personal as well as your art?” Concern flitted in her eyes.

Smiling in resignation “Well it takes all kinds. I didn’t get it much before I did my make over. Yes, I guess I get it more now. My work has improved and we are getting more diverse buyers.”

Grace could see why Joan would make a different impression now. She was leaner, sexier, and her hair made her distinctive. She had been artsy before, now she WAS artsy. A lot of people, usually with money to spare, would flock to her and court her. Her work spoke volumes before now it would speak libraries. These people would assume they owned part of HER for the work they purchased. She hoped that Joan would remain the sweet individual she knew and loved, that part hadn’t changed yet.

They ordered salads and Joan even consented to having a burger. Mineral water only though. The burger filled her and made her slightly nauseous. The grease would do that to anybody she thought. Paying the check Joan suggested they return to the apartment. Grace happily went along, she was just so thrilled to be with Joan again and it showed in her demeanor. She had gotten Joan to agree to even go with her to the party .

When they got back Joan changed into jeans and a flowing blouse. It wasn’t as artsy as what she would have worn a year ago. It showed a sophistication that had been lacking. No more would she be the mousy little artist. She stood out in a crowd. Funny, it had taken until she was 40 to actually begin to blossom. Grace watched her get ready. She saw her lightly freshen the makeup that she hadn’t even noticed that morning. She lightly spritzed some perfume on. Grace had scented the same on her the previous evening, it was intoxicating and she lifted the atomizer to try and read the brand. “You won’t be able to find that on a store shelf” Joan remarked.

“Why not?” Smelling it’s musky but heady scent Grace felt aroused by it much to her surprise.

“It’s a special blend. Made just for me by some perfumers that I met through the spa.”

“That must be some spa!” Grace felt a little envious. She’d worked hard for a lot of years to pay off her student loans. She felt that just in the last few years could she afford to indulge herself as a doctor, the jaguar was just the first indulgence. Money for things like this had never been indulged.

“Yes, I thought so too, I bought it.” Joan stated calmly.

Staring at Joan, Grace was dumbfounded. “You bought it? You bought the spa?”

“Yes, I thought it an excellent investment but undercapitalized. Craig is making sure they receive the marketing that they needed. There is talk now about expanding it eventually.” The way she spoke Grace could tell Craig wasn’t the only one with a head for business in that family.

Grace sat on the bench and asked Joan what she thought was a stupid question but had been bothering her, “Are you rich?”

Joan had been going through her jewelry cabinet when she heard that. It had been asked before. Smiling she answered “Yes and No. No, I’m not Bill Gates rich. Not even close” she laughed. “ Yes, I’m comfortable and don’t have to work. But that’s the thing about money. When you don’t have it you think all your problems would be solved if you did. When you have some or enough you think about making it work for you. My money makes more money for me to make more money. Does that make sense?” She chose some sea shells for earrings and put on another pendant, this one of a crab. “I don’t have so much that I could lose it and NOT miss it but I worked a lot of years to get where I am now.” She pulled a toe ring from her drawer and closed the entire cabinet. Going to sit next to Grace on the bench she leaned down to put the toe ring on. Sitting back up she said “I don’t flaunt it, I don’t think about the total figure. I do things I enjoy with it. That’s why we started the foundation a couple of years ago. The money works for me and I can indulge my passion for whatever I want. If I see or hear of a cause that I want to donate to I can without all the fanfare. People believe the foundation is run by the Wood’s family, which is partially true but it isn’t the Wood’s families money that is given away. It’s mine.”

“So starving artist is NOT what you are eh?”

“No, but I am an artist with a passion for her work. I’d say the best work I’ve done has come about in the last 14 months. This is what I enjoy. The rest” she waved her hand around “is just THERE. A product of the last 20 some years of hard work.” Something occurred to her then, “are you bothered by it?”

“No, I was just curious. It’s not everyday you see an artist living in Malibu in a nice place like this. Mostly people have the belief that an artist is starving.”

“What do you think the hospital paid me for that work I did for them?” Joan asked.

“I really don’t have a clue, it was beautiful, huge, but beautiful.” She smiled.

“They believed they talked me down in price and maybe they did in a way but they handed over a $50,000 check as though it wasn’t a problem. I found that to be a problem for me. I thought with that amount of money instead of a bigger entrance to hold a work of art they should be buying another machine to save a kid’s life. How distorted of them to throw that gala which cost who knows what when they could have donated the money to the cause it was for? Donating the money really didn’t cost me anything. I’ll make it back on my copyright of the prints. I’d be surprised if after all the coverage with the papers and other media that I don’t recoup the money in weeks. Money like that requires responsibility. I’ll put it in the foundation for a better cause.”

Grace was overwhelmed by Joan’s generosity. She truly was that giving. Grace loved her for it. Most people would have taken every penny they could, bought big houses and expensive cars. Joan had reached a level where she didn’t need to do that. It was very humbling. A bit overwhelming too. Grace watched her money carefully and couldn’t compare to some of what Joan was saying. Joan was right, when you didn’t have a lot of money you thought it would solve all your problems, hadn’t she seen that a lot in her practice? Most people didn’t realize that psychiatrists had personal lives too. Insecurities were part of being human, she knew she was very human.

~ CHAPTER 11 ~

They drove down to Buena Park in Graces coupe. Grace had been surprised to find that Joan didn’t own a car. She’d explained how she sold her Mercedes before her move to California. Grace felt a bit guilty about that knowing that Joan had purchased the vehicle because she’d always wanted one. Joan was quick to reassure her that she’d find another one someday, perhaps they could do it together. This made Grace feel good as they were making future plans.

The party was in full swing when they got there. They’d stopped in at Grace’s apartment in Venice Beach so she could change into her own clothes. The place was remarkably similar to the one she had on Balboa. Joan didn’t like it as much though. It felt very dark and dreary after her sunlit place at the beach. She didn’t nose around and waited in the living room looking down at the dock until Grace was ready. The party was set up like a luau at the beach. Considering the beach was at least 15 miles away this was a pretty good feat.

Grace was recognized as they walked in hand in hand, Grace leading the way. Joan didn’t recognize anyone at this party. It seemed that Grace knew half of southern California to her. Being a hermit herself it made her a bit uncomfortable. She could hear whispers spring up behind her some not so quiet either “Who’s that?, who’s that with Grace?” They walked through the house to a patio out back. There Joan saw for the first time people she did know from the previous party and years ago. As a beaming Grace led her towards them Joan noted that they all looked curiously towards who she had brought with her. She spotted Joanne among them with her arm around a shorter woman with dishwater blonde hair. No one recognized her immediately. Joanne suddenly stiffened and said “Joan.” Several pairs of hostile looks were exchanged instantly changed from the curious ones. Joanne got up and said hello to Grace. Tina, Addie, and Tracey followed suit. A couple of other’s that Joan didn’t remember the names to as well. All this and Grace refused to let Joan’s hand go, a bit awkward. Joan looked calmly back at what she was thinking was the gruesome foursome. Finally even Grace couldn’t ignore the silence.

“What” she said looking around at everyone.

Tina asked for all of them “What’s SHE doing here?”

So much for a welcome Joan thought.

“We’re together. Is that a problem Tina?” Graces tone drew some surprise from the assembled jury.

“No it’s not a problem” Tracey reassured her giving Tina a quelling look.

“Yes it is.” Tina said belligerently. “She isn’t welcome here.”

“Tina” Joanne said drawing out the name “knock it off, you don’t know what’s going on here.”

Joan looked with interest to Joanne. She remembered her coming to the gallery in defense of Grace. How could she know? Perhaps she was the only one going to give her the benefit of the doubt? Her hopes were dashed by the look Joanne pierced her with. Just what she needed, a confrontation. She tried to disentangle her hand from Graces but Grace, who had been silent, held tighter.

“Look we all know what she did to Grace, why should we just forgive and forget it.” Tina was the type to actually start a brawl. She was very butch and the steriotypical lesbian with the sides of her head shaved and a mullot hair cut. Her behaviour was crass and she wouldn’t even care if she was in her forties.

“Perhaps because you don’t know the whole story?” Graces tone was quiet but firm. Tina stopped her belligerence at this.

“Well then what is it?” Joanne asked. Her tone could have cut ice it was so hard.

Joan felt like a complete jerk standing there saying nothing. “It was a misunderstanding is all.” That didn’t sound good even to her ears.

Grace gave her a sideways grin, cheering her on. It sounded pathetic to her too. This couldn’t be easy for Joan. It didn’t feel very comfortable to her either. Maybe this was too much too soon?

“You call it a misunderstanding? God that’s real sad, boo hoo.” Tina’s voice was belligerent and condescending.

“Let’s just hear what they have to say okay, calm down.” Tracey sat where Tina had been.

Everyone sat there expectantly as Joan and Grace stood there exchanging a look. Grace started to speak when Joan interrupted her, she was angry too “Look, we don’t owe any of you an explanation for anything we do. If you don’t like it you can lump it. We’re together, we’re happy about it, if you don’t like that go screw yourselves.” With that she turned and broke the hand hold Grace had on her, her braids flying about behind her as she tossed her head she walked through the house grabbing a beer and opening it angrily. She sat on the front stoop, several people stared at her. She just didn’t care.

Grace went to go after her but Tina leapt forward and stopped her by grabbing her arm. Grace looked at her in astonishment, looked down at the hand on her arm and back into Tina’s face. “What the hell?”

“Look Grace, I don’t know what’s going on. She’s right it isn’t my business but I care about you, we all do” several nods from around the people sitting there “we don’t want to see you hurt. She’s not like you, hell she’s really not like any of us. She’ll hurt you again.”

Grace turned back to her assembled friends. They all looked to be in agreement. Annoyed she just hoped that Joan hadn’t left. They had all seen how devastated she was last year. They had tried, repeatedly, to fix her up but she just wasn’t interested. She moped for months. It wasn’t until she had moved and started at LA Medical that she began to come out of that protective shell, becoming the person she had been. They’d all been there for her in their various ways.

Joanne came up to her “Grace, how can you be with her again after what she put you through?”

“I love her” she said it simply without embellishment. Then she smiled and said louder with emphasis “I LOVE her.”

Defeated Joanne backed off shaking her head. She of them all was closest to Grace and she saw only that one of her best friends was going to get hurt again by the same bitch who had hurt her so much in the past.

Tina felt they should scare off Joan at least. She wasn’t worth it. She could change her look all she wanted to. A cat doesn’t change it’s stripes. She wouldn’t allow Grace to be hurt again. She was a staunch supporter of her friends.

Addie hadn’t said anything in all this exchange. She looked over at Tracey and they shared a look. Nodding slightly Addie got up under the premise of getting something. A few seconds later Tracey followed her.

Grace gave up and walked away, looking for Joan. She found her on the front step nursing a beer. “You okay?”

Smothering a snort of laughter “Just peachy” she said dryly, sarcasm laced it heavily.

“I’m sorry about that, I should have thought what it would be like.”

Joan looked up at her “then why didn’t you. Your the Psychiatrist, should you have foreseen their reactions?”

“Well we aren’t telepathic you know” she waited a count of five before adding “do you want to go?”

Joan surprised herself by saying “no.” She realized Grace wanted to talk to her friends. If the friends didn’t want Joan around, so what. She had broad shoulders, she could take the hit. “I’m fine” at Grace’s look she added “really, I’m fine right here okay? Go ahead and socialize.”

Grace knew Joan was letting her off the hook. This was awkward. She wanted her friends to get along. Gawd, this felt so high school and at her age too! Here she was at 46 years of age placating a bunch of immature people. Joan was acting cool though, just sitting there looking out into the evening. “You don’t mind...”

“Hey they are your friends, no one is going to force them to like me. I’m okay right here, just don’t keep me here for hours please. Meanwhile, I’m enjoying this beer and the evening.”

It was lame but Grace decided to accept it anyway. Maybe Joan needed time alone anyway and she hadn’t seen some of these people in awhile. She was really looking to see if Terry was there because she wanted to talk to him and have him meet Joan. Giving Joan a weak smile she grabbed her shoulder for a quick squeeze on her way back into the house. Inside the door stood Joanne, obviously listening from her frown.

Grabbing Joanne’s arm Grace pulled her farther into the house so Joan couldn’t hear what they said. “What is going on Grace? What are you doing with HER? You didn’t say anything last week when we had lunch?”

Stopping in the hallway Grace answered “I think I said it all when I told you I love her. Shouldn’t that be enough?”

Shaking her head Joanne answered “No, I don’t think so after the way she treated you last year. What’s going on? WHEN did you two get back together?” She knew they hadn’t been together last week when she and Grace had had lunch.

“I ran into her last night at that gala for the medical center. You’ll never guess who the artist was they honored.” She looked hard at Joanne as comprehension dawned. “She gave a pretty quick speech, you can imagine my surprise.”

“Yeah, I suppose, what’s it been a year or what?” Joanne was listening intently.

“Just over actually. Doesn’t she look incredible though?” she enthused.

Giving Grace a distinctly annoyed look Joanne nodded and said “Yes, she does look a lot different. What happened, did she tell you?”

So Grace told Joanne everything from the kiss to the spa to the gala last evening. Joanne couldn’t believe how dumb the whole thing was. She still wasn’t sure Joan was good enough for Grace. Grace had to be one of the kindest people she knew. She was funny, intelligent, just so much fun. When they had all seen how hurt she had been by Joan’s silence it had them closing ranks to help. Grace hadn’t wanted their help, she wanted to be left alone. It took awhile before they’d been allowed back into her life. They resented Joan and felt it was all her fault. Now to hear the story it wasn’t quite.

Out of the corner of her eye Grace saw Addie and Tracey listening avidly. Turning she was angered by their eavesdropping. Both looked guilty. Instead of going away though Tracey came right up to her and gave her a hug. “Gawd, I’m sorry about all this. Terry is out back by the barbecue, want me to go kick his ass?”

Shaking her head with a laugh Grace said no but she did intend for him to at least meet Joan so the whole story had been seen through. She headed for the back of the house. Addie, Tracey, and Joanne all exchanged a look and headed for the front steps.

Joan had just finished her beer and was spinning it on the concrete. The noise was irritating and Joanne picked it up. Joan looked up in surprise. Great, they are going to gang up on me. Just what I need.

“Joan, I think we need to apologize for that in there” Joanne indicated with her head.

Surprised at this turn of events she realized that enough time had passed for them to have spoken to Grace and found out what had really happened. Shrugging she said “don’t let it bother you, it was a mistake. To be honest I’m kind of embarrassed about it now.”

Tracey sat down next to Joan on the steps. “Hey my brother didn’t mean any harm I’m sure.”

Shaking her head “he didn’t know, how could he. I’m to blame for this, it was childish. I could have handled it better. The good thing is that Grace and I have worked it out and we intend to start over. Hopefully I’ve learned enough to handle things better.” She was ashamed and looked down at her feet stretched out before her.

They could see how uncomfortable she was and they let it go. Changing the subject they had been chatting about her art for awhile when Grace showed up at the door. A good looking guy in tow. Joan heard them open the door and looked up. She didn’t even recognize the guy right away. She stood up and realized who this had to be. Everyone was watching her. She looked at Grace for confirmation. Grace nodded. The guy put out his hand and said “Hi Joan, I’m Terry, I guess I owe you an apology.” Could this get any more awkward?

Joan shook his hand and just dropped it there. “Don’t worry about it.” She was ready for this to be over. Grace was watching her so she gave her a sappy smile, like okay can we move on from this? The girls resumed their talk about Joan’s art to cover up the quiet moment and after awhile Terry drifted away.

Half an hour later Grace said that they had to be going, they had plans. Joan looked at her in surprise which she quickly hid. Anything to get away from this awkward time. They objected at first but Grace assured them that everything was okay and that she and Joan just needed to take care of some things, together. That was enough for them to relax and wish them goodnight. They watched the two of the head for the Jaguar. Grace grabbed Joan’s hand, unfortunately her right hand and Joan winced, pulling it back. She had been keeping it in her pocket to keep from using it. Grace mumbled ‘sorry’ and they headed for her Jaguar. What they didn’t realize is that by Joan pulling her hand back like that it looked to the other’s like she was being petty and childish about things still. There would be repercussions later.

Grace drove off and said sarcastically “Whew, was that fun or what?”

Dryly Joan answered “or what. Did you KNOW who was going to be at that party?”

“I had a good idea. I wanted you to meet Terry though so you knew that everything was okay.” Grace shifted and reached out her hand to grab Joan’s left hand and squeeze it. “I just didn’t want ANYTHING to be hanging over us, okay?”

Relaxing a little Joan smiled “okay. Where are we going?”

“It’s kind of early to go home, did you want to stop and eat somewhere?”

“Sounds good.” She turned her hand over and clasped Graces, giving it a squeeze.

They drove almost all the way to Venice Beach before Grace stopped at a fast food chain and picked up a pizza, some soda, and salad. The bread sticks they had eaten before they even got to Grace’s place. They ate the pizza on her back patio listening to the water lapping against the docks. That night they made love under the moonlight until risk of indecent exposure sent them into the apartment.

~ CHAPTER 12 ~

For months they took turns staying at one place or the other. Grace had to come and get Joan whenever they stayed at her place as Joan still hadn’t gotten a car. There hadn’t been time. Both were busy with their job’s. Joan had the commissions for Jack’s restaurants and Grace had been pulling a lot of overtime as she was hoping to get a promotion. She’d arrive at Joan’s exhausted. They spent more time at Joan’s than at Grace’s place. It was the nicer of the two apartments. It was easier for Joan because her work was there. Grace figured out the commute time and with traffic and everything it was about 10 minutes more from downtown where she worked at the medical center. Slowly but surely she had been bringing her stuff over to Joan’s. Joan made room in her closet and dresser. Eventually it was decided to hire a moving van and move the rest of her stuff over. There was room in the 3-car garage to store the extra bed, couch, and a few other things. The dresser and other personal items fit fine in the apartment. The move went off without a hitch, very smooth. To celebrate their official moving in together, Joan had a candlelight dinner for two on the balcony. She even cooked, something she hated with a passion. Grace knew it must be love then. The meal was very good and well prepared.

Grace subleased her apartment as she had a lease that wasn’t up for six months. The tenant was someone she knew from the hospital and it worked out well. Joan had her credit history checked to be on the safe side. She had had too many tenants over the years to play games.

They had been living together for three months when Joan decided to surprise Grace with a party. Cautiously while Grace was late at work one night she phoned Joanne. She chatted with her awhile and told her the plan. Joanne agreed to corral all of Grace’s friends and they’d have a birthday party for Grace the following weekend. Joan was suspicious as to why it went so smoothly, unaware that Joanne had lunch occasionally with Grace and could see how happy she was. What Joanne didn’t know was that the other three friends had all decided that Joan was a farce after the hand pulling incident.

The Friday of the party Joan had cleaners come in and take care of the apartment from top to bottom. She also had them take care of the gallery as it could use an occasional thorough cleaning although Madge kept it very nice. She did paperwork, her least favorite chore since she knew she’d get no painting done while the cleaners were there. She had locked the studio so no one would go in there.

Guests started arriving at 6. Joan had instructed them to park on the street so that Grace would be none the wiser. A caterer had set up a buffet on the bar counter and beer and a few mixed drinks were set up as well. At 7 the caterer’s car was hidden down the street and the guests started shushing each other as Grace’s Jaguar was spotted from the balcony. It was a good thing that the living room kitchen combination was so large, there were only about 20 guests or so but they ranged out in those rooms and the master bedroom. A couple had tried the studio door but Joan had left it locked. Grace used her thumb print and the code to turn off the alarm and unlocked the door to climb the stairs. Unlocking the door she opened it and turned on the lights to “SURPRISE!”

The surprise had worked perfectly. She was totally stunned. The cake was brought around the corner all lit up with sparklers. The guests began to sing happy birthday. Seeing Joan standing there singing with the rest brought tears to Grace’s eyes. She was propelled forward and Joan and she exchanged a kiss in front of everyone. Giving Joan a big hug she began greeting her friends who had come to the party. Standing back with a drink in her hand Joan watched her. She hadn’t seen anyone in months. Between work and the daily grind they hadn’t gone out.

Joan sensed someone next to her breathing down her neck practically. Turning she looked right into Tina’s glaring eyes. “Oh, hello Tina.”

“You know, you don’t fool me.” Came a sour reply.

“I don’t?” Joan was clearly puzzled.

“No, you can fool some of these people” she gestured almost spilling her beer “but I can see right through you.”

“That’s good then.” Joan hadn’t a clue to what Tina was talking about. She assumed it was from that last party.

Tracey and Addie must have sensed what Tina was up to. Between the three of them they cornered Joan who stood there listening patiently. She didn’t fool them. She wasn’t going to get away with ‘it’. Whatever ‘it’ was. Tina was getting angrier as she drank more of her beer and as Joan stayed calm. She let her patiently berate her for at least ten minutes. Grace looked over from where she was chatting with Jo. Saying something to Jo they both headed for the corner. As they came up they heard Joan say very quietly “well your arguments are well thought out, but I can’t agree with you. I love Grace, she loves me, it’s that simple. If you don’t like it you can get the hell out of here before I kick your ass out.”

As this penetrated it took a full ten seconds and it looked as though Tina would explode. Her face turned red and Tracey and Addie pulled her away before she could say or do anything.

Joan turned to Grace and Jo and with a big smile at them said “Well, that was fun” sarcastically. Then she hugged Grace, wished her a whispered and breathy “Happy Birthday” and headed for the bar and a drink.

Jo turned to Grace and said “I think we’ll keep her. That’s the first time in a long time Tina has been told off or made speechless, even temporarily. She must really love you to put up with crap like that.”

Laughing Grace had to agree with her. She had been a little worried. Joan had remained so quiet. She usually had an artistic temper. The roof had been raised a couple of times over stupid things but she was impressed that she’d held it in this time. Had she been drinking? No, it couldn’t be that. She’d ask her later. She didn’t get a chance to exchange a word most of the rest of the evening, just occasional glances. Joan smiled at her each and every time, as though they had a secret.

Opening the mostly gag gifts, Grace was truly embarrassed by some. Her friends must have raided some of the ADULTS ONLY stores and this is what she opened. A few more grown up and sophisticated gifts were given by some. What was missing was a gift from Joan but Grace didn’t say anything. Tina in her belligerent drunkenness said it loudly for all “How come you didn’t give HER anything Joan?” Everyone turned to look at Joan who flushed in her embarrassment.

Turning to Tina to answer her she said “because I was going to give it to her in private.” The tone and the way she said it left no one in doubt that Joan had left off the words “you bitch” from that sentence. Instead she walked into the bedroom where she opened a drawer and pulled out a packet. Bringing it back to the living room she quietly handed it to Grace and walked back to where she had been standing by the bar.

Many craned their necks to see what it was that Joan had given Grace for her 48th birthday. Opening the packet Grace found in her hands two first class tickets to Fiji, an island she had once mentioned in passing to Joan that she’d like to see one day. Also enclosed were brochures for first class accommodations for two in several hotels for two weeks. Her name was on one ticket, the other was left blank. The dates were open ended and she was instructed to call a number two weeks in advance of her departure date to activate the entire trip. It would all be handled for her including transportation about the island and to others. Looking up at Joan tears filled her eyes at the thoughtfulness of the trip. Stumbling over her feet as she quickly crossed the room she enveloped Joan in an embrace that left them both breathless. Kissing her all over her face, thanking her and crying slightly. What a wonderful, thoughtful, gift. One person murmured that no one else had gotten such a thank you and the watching crowd broke up with laughter. Grace let Joan go and laughed with them.

If Addie or Tracey had any more doubts they were dispelled with this show of emotion from the couple. Tina was too drunk to care. They left toting her along with their respective partners soon after . The party broke up and Joan and Grace made sure a few got in cabs instead of driving. Joanne was among the last to leave. Looking Joan straight in the eye as she shook her hand she said “Way to go girl. I wish you both the best.” Then to Joans astonishment she kissed her full on the lips. Grace laughed at Joan’s shocked expression.

The caterers cleaned up as Joan and Grace sat on the couch talking. Grace asked her about what had happened with Tina. Joan explained that she had expected this from not only Tina but several others. When it only happened with Tina she had been able to keep her cool. It had made Tina angrier that Joan had not reacted to the taunts and other words that by the time Joan gave her the set down it had been an accurate hit, one that Tina didn’t have time to recover from. Joan had had enough. She wasn’t going to continue to defend herself to these people. Apparently she wouldn’t have to any longer.

Grace thanked her again for the trip and asked her when she wanted to go. She was due two weeks after her one year anniversary at the hospital, in about a month she was free to go.

“You want ME to go?” Joan pretended amazement.

Hitting her lightly up side her braided head Grace laughed at her and they discussed when would be the best time. They wanted to of course avoid hurricane or monsoon season or whatever they called it. Given the time of the year the next month would work out fine and Grace decided to put in for her two weeks the next Monday at work. That made her think of something else.

“Why didn’t you invite anyone from my work?”

“You’ve never invited me to your work. I thought perhaps you wanted to keep your work and home life separate. I guess we just never discussed that....although I had thought I should invite Simon.” She laughed at Graces expression and dodged another hit up side the head.

~ CHAPTER 13 ~

Their weekend was spent very quietly. They both slept in on Saturday after the party. The caterers had cleaned up very well. The extra booze was in the bar. The extra food was in the refrigerator. Grace hadn’t remembered their refrigerator ever being that full in the time they’d been together. They had very different eating habits. Now that they lived together she kept an eye on Joan’s and noted that she had put on some weight at least. Not too much but enough to cover those emaciated ribs.

Sunday they read the paper in bed. Grace did the New York crossword puzzle in pen as she always did. Joan read the comics, sharing particularly funny ones when she found them. They decided to go shopping after reading the ads. They would need more summer things for Fiji.

Joan still hadn’t gotten a car so they took the Jaguar. On the way across the canyon to shop in Thousand Oaks and other cities they stopped at a roadside stand and picked up fresh fruit and vegetables. Grace had learned Joan’s habits well and kept a cooler in her back seat that could plug into her cigarette lighter and keep the stuff cold. They filled the cooler with strawberries, grapes, cherries, cucumbers, squash, and tomatoes. It seemed like a lot but since that was the basics of all Joan ate it would last at least a week or more.

They enjoyed shopping at the stores they chose. Joan normally hated shopping but Grace made it fun. They discussed what to take and what to wear on the trip. Grace was getting excited. She never had traveled. Realizing that she had to get a passport then as well. Another thing to put on her to do list that week if she wanted to go. Driving from one mall to another they were discussing what was needed for the passport when Joan told Grace to turn in at the next driveway. It required some maneuvering but she managed it, thinking that she might put her car out of alignment with any more quick turns like that. What Joan had spotted became soon apparent. The lot carried nothing but Mercedes. New, antique, modern with additions, and Kit Kars. The lot was full of at least 100 different cars and Joan was enthralled. Getting out of the Jaguar she walked quickly over to one. It was cobalt blue and had gold trim. Grace joined her watching in amusement. A salesman began to stroll from the dealership office. Joan walked around several cars. Grace followed her. The salesman stopped to watch. Joan would stop for awhile looking at one car and then go on to another. Grace asked her if she had found one yet but Joan shook her head. She was like a child in a candy shop. The salesman tried talking to her but she held up her hand as she read the stickers and what each one offered. It must have been half an hour before she started looking at a couple of them for a second time. The salesman came over to Grace and asked her if he could help either of them. Grace laughed and said no, she had her toy, pointing to the Jaguar. She said, be patient, she may find her toy and want to buy it, pointing at Joan.

After an hour Grace saw Joan coming towards her with a predatory smile on her face. “I think I’ve narrowed it down to two of them.”

“Really, which two?”

Seeing the salesman standing there with Grace she turned her ‘smile’ on him. “Hi, I’d like to test drive the two I like?”

Almost rubbing his hands he asked her which ones. Pointing to a red convertible that was brand new she then pointed to another one that was almost identical but had modifications done to it. He went and got the keys.

“Why those?” Grace asked.

“They give off a sort of Karma. Does that make sense? Guess I feel it when I look at them.”

Grace looked at Joan. Knowing many of her moods she was sure Joan was highly excited but keeping it under wraps. She was sure that Joan wasn’t too far from an actual, physical climax. Wow, this all over a car. Well Joan had waited a long time to buy another one. She didn’t go many places but then she ended up waiting for a cab, the bus, or for when Grace could take her. It was no longer convenient to wait.

The salesman hurried back with the keys to both of the cars. Since they were both basically two person vehicles with a little bench seat in the back Grace thought she should stay at the dealership. Joan though asked the salesman to jump into the back for them. She and Grace took the front buckling themselves in. The first car was the normal one as Grace thought. The gadgets inside were very nice. Everything was electrical and the first thing Joan did was press a button to lower the top. Admiring the dash gadgets she pulled the car from it’s space on the lot and pulled out onto the roadway. After driving for awhile and the salesman directing her she pulled back onto the lot. They all climbed out and went to the other car. Someone had really tricked this one out. It had rosewood for the all the dash plates. The leather seats just hugged you close and they were so soft. Neither Joan nor Grace could tell what all the buttons were for. After driving this one the same route as the other one they returned to the lot. Joan’s predatory smile returned. Grace stood back to let her maneuver, laughing inside.

Joan told the salesman she was still interested in both but she’d like to know his final, rock bottom price. He looked at the Joan as though thinking it through. She was dressed in jeans and a sexy little blouse so that didn’t tell him what she could afford either. She had come in a Jaguar but Grace drove that, she was dressed in a cream colored pants suit without the jacket, so that told him nothing. After hmm and hawing he said he’d have to discuss it with his manager. Much to his alarm Joan tagged along. He couldn’t shake her no matter how much he hinted. Grace slowly followed and heard him trying, desperately. Joan marched up to the manager and indicated the two vehicles she had driven, she asked the him what kind of deal they could arrange. After hearing him Bs for awhile about the value of the vehicles, how great they were, how much had gone into them she leaned over and said in no uncertain terms “do you want to sell a car or not?” Looking through the price book he only came down $2000 on the first one and $1400 on the second. Joan glanced at Grace and Grace thought she saw a flicker of amusement in her eyes.

“Gentlemen, I’ve been on your car lot for over an hour now. I’ve narrowed my choices down to two of your fine vehicles. I’m sure you don’t want to waste my time and I certainly don’t want to waste yours but if you continue to Bs me on the price your going to lose me as a customer.” She said it sweetly but firmly.

The manager looked from his salesman to this braided woman. He wasn’t sure if he should KNOW her, was she someone famous? In LA one never knew but he could tell by her tone that he was about to lose a sale if he didn’t do something quick.

Writing down some figures and additions to what was already offered he showed her the final figures on a worksheet. Joan sweetly reached across the desk and grabbed a red pen from in front of the man and wrote over the figures already written coming up with a drastically reduced price than they were willing to offer. Opening her purse she asked “Would you like it in a check or credit card?”

The manager swallowed. They certainly wouldn’t be losing money on the deal if they went with HER figures but there was the matter of saving face. “Well ma’am the banks aren’t open today and we couldn’t verify your check until tomorrow. I’m sure your credit card doesn’t go that high” he said in a sweetly patronizing tone.

Grace was waiting for Joan to blow up. She hated men who talked to people this way. Grace had watched Joan go face to face with a grocery store manager who had talked this way to her once.

Smiling Joan took out her cell phone and looked at it’s display. Punching in some numbers she waited while it rang. Talking rapidly into the phone she gave the types of vehicles and the vin numbers, she waited a moment her nails tapping out a tattoo on the desk. The manager and the salesman exchanged a look. Finally she said into the phone a bunch of code numbers, waited, and then handed the phone to the manager. Taking it gingerly he said “Hello, this is the manager of Luxury Motor Cars, may I help you?”

“This is States Bank, I believe you have a client of ours in your showroom?” A womans voice responded.

“Yes?” The man was clearly puzzled.

“Yes, Ms woods is covered for ANY amount up to seven figures on her personal check and high six figures on her credit card. You understand for security reasons that we cannot release the exact amount however if you give us your merchant id number I can verify who you are and that the amount of her purchase would be covered.”

Joan was looking around the lot at the other cars, Grace leaned over and asked “What’s going on?” Joan looked at her, grinned and winked and then shushed her with one finger pressed to her lips. She was listening to the manager.

The manager pulled some paperwork from inside the desk. He gave their merchant id number and answered a few more questions. He was clearly intimidated. He said “but, but’ a few times and stuttered a few other things. The salesman was watching him curiously. Finally he said “thank you very much” and handed Joan back her phone.

“Well ma’am, which car have you decided on then?” He gave her a brittle little smile, he had started to sweat.

Giving a sweet little innocent smile she answered “I’ll take that one, indicating the second one. I want all the additional accessories we’ve agreed on here as well as that price.” She indicated the worksheet with the red pen on it.

Gulping he nodded and asked the salesman to take care of those accessories while he filled out the paperwork on the sale. Looking up at Joan he asked that she please write out a check for them.

Happy to comply Joan wrote a check for the total amount that she had written in red and tore it from the checkbook, handing it to the manager. He seemed to be sweating a great deal now. As he filled out the paperwork Joan and Grace wandered through the showroom.

“What did you do?” Grace asked amused.

“Nothing” Joan answered in a sugar and spice voice “I just had him talk to the bank that owns his lot, the cars, and his merchant accounts. I noticed it on his ledger there. I happen to have accounts there too. A long time ago I found out about that little number and I programmed it into my phone in case of little emergencies such as these. My code numbers verified who I was, his verified who he was. His card shuffle came to an end and I came up with a full house.” She smiled.

“Joan, my god what did they threaten him with?” she hissed

“I’m sure they didn’t threaten him at all, they just pointed out that my well being and satisfaction was more important to them than his was. I’m sure they put the fear of god into him.” Seeing Graces slight alarm she rushed to reassure her “Hey, the price was fair that was some of the numbers I gave. It’s all a shell game. He made money on this deal, the car came up clean. I’m happy, he’s happy, or will be after I leave.” She smiled.

Grace gave her a quirky little elfin smile and shook her head. Just when she thought she knew this woman.

The salesman rushed in holding the keys. The car had been hastily rubbed down and the accessories they had agreed on placed in or on the car. Even now a yard man was polishing the gold. He handed Joan the keys and thanked her for her business. The manager came up with the signed paperwork. He did not make any additions for license or any of their other up charges. He’d actually deducted them to come up with a figure equal to that of her check. She signed the paperwork and returned his pen. He gave her the copies and wished her well. As she left he sighed with relief. He’d almost insulted a very powerful woman. He still wasn’t sure who in the heck Joan Woods was but she had the right phone numbers for sure and knew the right people.

Joan drove the car home with Grace following behind her. They decided not to go to any more malls that day. Enough shopping. Joan pulled into the driveway and stopped in front of the second garage door. Grace pushed a button on her dash and the first garage door swung up. She drove right in. Getting out she went over to the door panel and opened the second door for Joan. Joan drove right in and parked her new toy. Smiling happily she got out of the car. She’d pressed a button and the top was going back on all by itself. She watched from in front of the Jaguar as her car tucked itself in.

They unpacked their purchases and the produce and put it away upstairs. Joan turned to Grace, Grace could see she was in a high state of excitement. Not one to see other’s in pain Grace accommodated that excitement very well. They spent the rest of the afternoon very enjoyably in bed.

That evening Grace asked Joan more about what had happened. Joan explained that her accounts in that particular bank (Grace noted the stress on THAT PARTICULAR BANK) were set up so that she could do large transactions if necessary. Craig had set it up so if she needed to buy a house or whatever that it wouldn’t have to go through normal channels. The bank lost nothing for this service, the merchant made a quick deal, and it kept her happy. Grace was still clearly impressed. She wondered what else she didn’t know about this wild woman she was in love with.

They ate dinner on the balcony watching the sunset. Steamed vegetables and rice for both of them and thinly sliced steak for Grace. A nice sweet red wine to top it off.

Grace went to change out the robe that she had on. Opening the closet she found a complete set of luggage with a huge bow around it. Looking up she saw Joan watching her from the doorway smiling hugely. “Happy Birthday” she said softly.

Thanking her Grace felt uncomfortable. Joan had spent today as much money as most people made in a year if they were lucky. The trip was fabulous and she appreciated it but she couldn’t hope to compete. She tried to broach the subject with Joan without hurting her feelings. Joan finally told her not to even try to compete as it wasn’t a competition. She saw something she wanted, she bought it. She didn’t go overboard. She didn’t buy minks, diamonds, and gold. She didn’t need those things to make her happy. She had seen the trip when she jogged by the travel shop and thought how to make Grace happy. She didn’t do this often so it was a pleasure all the way around for both of them. Grace finally accepted that she couldn’t, wouldn’t compete with this generous woman. She’d accept the gifts and give as generously when she could.

Joan was easy to please. She didn’t get expensive gifts too often. On mothers day she had received cards and beautiful flowers from the boys. At Christmas she had sent them personalized gifts and things she thought they would enjoy. Not expensive, just thoughtful. She’d given Grace a beautiful suit for work, a watch pendant, and a book that she’d known Grace would enjoy as well as a few funny but irreverent gifts. Simple but it showed that she had thought about the recipient. Grace had given her a silly pillow for the couch, all fluffy and squishy. She’d loved it instantly her face lit up with her joy. She loved the other little trinkets and presents from Grace and the boys. Again, nothing expensive, nothing ostentatious. Simple and thoughtful.

~ CHAPTER 14 ~

Grace woke up as usual on Monday at 6 AM. She showered and by the time she got out and was dressed there was freshly brewed coffee ready for her. The coffee maker had come with her from her apartment. It made four cups. Joan didn’t drink any so the extra three she put in a thermos to take with her to work. Joan made sure that there was a variety of different blends on the shelf for her to choose from. Some of the blends just simply spoiled her they were so delicious. She just had to make sure to put what she wanted in the coffee maker the night before and fill the water hopper in the back. Everything was automatic and set to her schedule. She’d read the newspaper and eat some breakfast before going off to work by 7:30. Joan usually shuffled in by 7. She wasn’t really a morning type of person. She’d be wearing her robe and grunt ‘morning’ while she reached for the orange or apple juice. Her fruit cups were home made and she usually had a couple of days supply waiting in the fridge for her breakfast and snacking habits. She’d pop bread in the toaster if she was feeling fancy. Occasionally if Grace had made eggs she’d eat those too. Once Grace actually saw her eat bacon as well, much to her surprise. Joan’s eating habits were terrible but at least Grace was relatively sure she ate breakfast and dinner as she was there to observe them with her.

After eating her breakfast she would shuffle back to the bathroom and wash her face and brush her teeth. Once the breakfast had gotten her body going she’d be less grumpy and more inclined to chat with Grace.

This Monday she reminded Grace about her list of ‘to do’ things which included her passport. She had checked her own to be sure it was in order just yesterday. Grace asked her what she intended to do today. She told her that she would be testing out her new toy, she had some paints she needed to pick up for the last of Jack’s paintings and there was a paint store she wanted to try out up the coast by Port Hueneme. She thought she might even go into Ventura to a store she knew there before coming home and painting. Overall, a full day.

Smiling over her coffee, it was a rich blend of mint this morning Grace thought ahead to her own day. Joan said although she didn’t drink the coffees she could live off the aroma alone. Giving Joan a kiss good morning she could smell the toothpaste she used she said her usual goodbye and headed out the door with her purse and briefcase in hand.

Joan went in to take a shower. Within an hour she was heading down to her new toy. She hadn’t wanted to wash her hair because it would take too long so she had put it up on the sides into a thick pony tail of braids. She finished all her errands by noon. The new paint store was interesting but carried little of the kind of paints she used. The guy behind the counter was kinda creepy and he recognized her. That didn’t happen too often and since she was already creeped out by the guy it didn’t wear well on her nerves. He was a little annoyed that she didn’t fawn over her fans as he assured her that he was one but he pressed on her a small can of paint that he assured her would make her very happy with the results on her canvases. Since he was trying to be so nice she accepted gracefully. She was glad to get out of the store though. Up the coast to Ventura to the other store and she was ready to head home. She zipped down Pacific Coast Highway and had a hard time keeping it near the speed limit. Pulling into her driveway she waved at Madge who happened to be at the window. She pressed the button on the device she had taken from the kitchen that morning and the second garage door opened up, she drove right in.

Taking her purchases upstairs she thought whether she wanted lunch or not. Deciding on the not part she headed right into the studio and started working with her new paints. Putting the can of free paint in the credenza, she painted all afternoon. She was doing the last of Jack’s works. Each one had been different. The first had depicted people as seen from the dining room of Jacks of Malibu. The second a similar scene but at sunset. The third one was one she would never have considered before but Jack insisted. She painted the identical picture of the first one but on glass. This glass when finished would actually be installed in a window in Jack’s dining room and insured up the kazoo. Joan shook her head. What people wouldn’t do when they had too much money. Her other works for him were for the various restaurants that he owned in LA. These last two were for one in Beverly Hills and one new one down in Laguna in Orange County. He told her if he ever opened one in Newport or further down in San Diego, he’d call her first. He was a flatterer and the monies he paid her were good. He’d already had offers for several of her works but he told everyone that they were originals made JUST for him. Her prints sold very well.

It was about 5:30 PM when she sat up to stretch. Grace would be home in about 15 minutes if she wasn’t delayed at the hospital or by traffic. The two pieces were almost finished but the lighting wasn’t right to finish them today so she left them drying on their easels. Looking at the blank canvas on the third easel she remembered the new paint and she decided to try it. Reaching into the credenza she opened the quart with a screwdriver. A terrible noxious smell came out. She closed it quickly, tapping down the lid extra hard. She put it back on the shelf with her other paints. Feeling funny she went towards the door. The smell was still in the air. She flipped on an overhead ceiling fan to clear it. That wasn’t working fast enough and she felt real sick now. She punched some buttons on a panel by the light panel and one of the giant windows that faced the ocean silently and smoothly opened. A cool ocean breeze came into the room immediately but Joan didn’t feel it. She was on the floor passed out.

Grace came home by 5:45. She’d had an excellent day. Several of her co- workers Simon included, had come by with a little cake singing happy birthday. She didn’t tell them that it had been Friday but accepted the well wishes anyway. She’d had time to stop by the post office at lunch to get her passport paperwork and she even had time to get her picture taken for it. She got out on time and traffic was relatively light. She only had a few snarls to fight before she set off across the canyon. She’d tried calling Joan but the canyon was terrible on cell phones and once she did get through Joan didn’t answer. That wasn’t unusual as Joan tended to focus on her work when she was painting. She arrived home and parked the Jaguar in the first garage next to the Mercedes. She admired the car for a moment smiling at Joan’s new pride and joy. She could tell it had been driven that day since the top was still down. Her own top was up today but then she had driven into LA and work wasn’t a good spot to leave wide open like that.

Since she came in the garage door she didn’t have to turn off the alarm or use her thumbprint. Joan was big on security but with the gallery downstairs Grace didn’t blame her. Tossing her keys and purse on the bar she looked for the mail. Grace must have forgotten to get it. She put her briefcase on the desk and called “Joan?” She headed for the studio. She found Joan lying on the floor. Alarmed she kneeled down by Joan and felt for her pulse. It was faint and irregular. Reaching for Joan’s cordless phone she dialed 911. Reporting what she had found she stayed on the line. Holding the phone away she checked Joans breathing. It was shallow. It seemed like it was getting harder for her to breathe. She started convulsing. Grace dropped the phone to hold her. She made sure that Joan didn’t swallow her tongue. When the fit had stopped she let go of Joan to hit the intercom button to Madge.

“Yes Joan?” came the pleasant voice.

“MADGE, it’s Grace, I found Joan on the floor unconscious. She just had a seizure of some sort. The paramedics are on the way, let them up would you?” she shouted into the intercom.

“Certainly, is there anything I can do to help?” Alarm and concern was in her voice.

“No, just let them up please, thanks.” Grace could hear Madge hit the disconnect button from her end. As she watched Joan she wondered what on earth could have happened. Grace looked around to see if Joan had hit her head on something but could see no blood or anything close enough to knock her out. She noticed the ceiling fan going and the window open. Joan rarely did either so something was different. Opening the window alone was confusing as it was all electronic and as Joan didn’t want dust, salt, and sand in her studio it was rarely done, besides the panel was tricky and closing it could be an ordeal. Grace notice another spasm seizing Joan. She went into another convulsion. This one was choking her. Grace raced to pull her tongue aside so she didn’t swallow it or bite it, she was careful with her fingers so Joan didn’t bite her either. She was having trouble breathing. Grace immediately started CPR. She could hear the sirens in the background. She didn’t know how long she’d been doing CPR when she was gently pushed aside by two paramedics one of whom took the vitals. Her heart was racing now, her breathing erratic. As they strapped her to the gurney they asked Grace questions. Did she take anything? Was she on drugs? Had she hit her head? All the usual stuff but Grace could only answer NO. She followed them dumbly and grabbed her purse and keys. Madge stood there wringing her hands. Grace asked her to turn off the fan and close the window. She ran after the paramedics. They weren’t going to let her ride with Joan but then seeing how distraught she was they let her in.

They took Joan to Malibu Medical Center. To Joan this had always seemed a rich man’s nightmare. It was small but had so much money around that they specialized in cosmetic procedures. Their equipment though was state of the art. They rushed Joan into the ER. She had another seizure in the ambulance, this one accompanied by vomiting. A lot of water came up and then she had dry heaves. She appeared to be foaming at the mouth. It was horrible to her see her body arching up like that. Without the straps she might have arched right over the edge. Grace sat there helplessly, watching. They weren’t going to let Grace in the ER room either but they needed to ask questions. They asked the same ones the paramedics had even though the paramedics had already given them all the information they had. They asked what she did for a living. Did she drink? What she could have eaten that day? Her drug habits, they asked several times. It was apparent they didn’t know what was causing this. Grace watched in agony as they pumped her full of their drugs to counteract her symptoms. Finally they determined that she had been poisoned and took appropriate action. Grace couldn’t give them any more information and they asked her to leave, her usefullness to them was over. Pulling herself up she told them she was Doctor Grace Monroe, that Joan was her life partner and that she would have to be bodily removed if they wanted her to leave. The doctor in charge tried to pull Grace aside to calm her down but Grace wouldn’t budge. She stood far enough away that she wasn’t in anyones way but close enough to see Joan and what they were doing to her. It was touch and go for awhile. They finally stabilized her but by then she was in a coma. They would do a scan to determine brain waves to see if there was any damage.

Hours later Grace sat in the intensive care with Joan. She realized it was the middle of the night but she knew she should call the boys. They needed to get here. The hospital wouldn’t listen to Grace and her orders as she wasn’t recognized as a relative in the state of California. They had let her stay with Joan out of respect as a fellow doctor and her statement as life partner.

Getting a cup of coffee she pulled out her cell phone and address book. She only had Craig’s number. Joan had given her the home number for some reason once and she had fortunately put it in her palm pilot. It was still there and she called it. A sleepy voice answered. It was Craig. Grace was relieved as she didn’t want to have to deal with Jane at this time.

“Craig? It’s Grace, there’s been an accident.”

Craig came instantly awake. He knew that Grace was back in his mother’s life. Joan had written them all telling them that they were friends again. “What’s wrong?”

“Your mother is in ICU in Malibu Medical Center. She’s in a coma and they aren’t sure that she will be coming out of it. It’s been touch and go for hours. I’m sorry but this is the first chance I’ve had to call you. They need one of you here to make your mother’s medical decisions.” She blurted this out and then added with a sob “can you come?”

“My God Grace, what the hell happened?” The concern boomed across the miles.

Telling him what she had found and what the doctors believed was all she could tell him. They simply didn’t know.

“I’ll be there as soon as I can. I think the first flight out is at 6, I’ll try to charter something if I can get out earlier. Give me your cell number and the number there at the hospital.” He wrote down both. “Grace, take care of her ‘til I get there okay?”

She was quietly crying as she agreed and hung up.

~ CHAPTER 15 ~

Grace sat next to Joan’s bed for hours. There really hadn’t been any change. They didn’t know what the poison was but they treated the symptoms. It had been tricky as some poisons react differently with some medicines. Joan was intibated so that she could breathe with the help of a machine. The beeping of the machines was driving Grace nuts. Grace watched the rise and fall of Joan’s chest. She could not believe everything that was happening. She felt like someone had run over her own chest with a steamroller. It’s was so tight, she was so hurt. She almost lost Joan and they weren’t certain yet that she was completely out of the woods. The brain scan was inconclusive.

She just sat there looking stunned. Her coffee has long since turned cold. A police officer comes by and he takes her statement. Her information isn’t too valuable as there isn’t much she can tell him. He asks if they may search the apartment tomorrow when she is home and she agrees immediately. Their preliminary search of the scene had turned up nothing and they wanted to do a more thorough search. He lets her return to her lonely vigil. Nurses come and go checking that everything is working correctly. Joan just lays there, occasional muscle spasms hit her. When morning comes Grace calls her hospital to take a leave of absence explaining to her boss that her partner is in the hospital with some type of poisoning, that it is touch and go. He didn’t even know she was dating anyone but she is an excellent doctor and he grants her request asking only to be kept updated. At noon she is dozing with her head on the edge of the bed when Craig, Adam, and Bryan walk into the ICU.

Pulling herself up she looked at them sleepily. “Hello Grace, how is she?” Craig asks politely, concern written all over his face.

“Not too good I’m afraid. They don’t know what they are fighting. We don’t know what the poison is at this point. All they can do is cautiously treat the symptoms. Some poisons react differently with different medicines.” She shrugged tiredly “all we can do is hope right now.”

“Is she in pain?” This from Adam.

Shaking her head “No, she is in a coma right now.”

Just then Joan had a muscle spasm. All three men’s eyes were drawn to her. “Is she waking up?” Asked Adam.

“No, that is just a spasm. She has quite a few, they believe it’s her body reacting to the drugs or the poison.”

Bryan finally asked “do they know IF she is going to wake up?”

Shrugging ruefully Grace shook her head no. Just then one of Joans doctors came in the room. Too many people in the ICU. Grace left so that the doctor could talk to the guys. She waited by the nurses station until they came out. Their faces were identical with concern and fear for their mother. They stood by the door helplessly.

“Craig?” He looked up at Grace and came over.

“Would you like to stay at the apartment instead of a hotel?” Grace inquired solicitously.

“That would be nice. Won’t it be a little small though?”

“Well there is the pull out couch, two could share that and one can use one of the recliners. It will be a little tight but the hotels down here are outrageous.” She knew they wouldn’t worry about money but they needed to be close to their mother right now.

“Yeah okay, we need a place to crash anyway. Thanks.” He seemed a little relieved. She guessed he hadn’t really thought about a place to stay.

Her phone went off as they stood there. Answering it she found the officer she had spoken to last night. They wanted to search the apartment. She told him to see Madge and that she’d arrange for Madge to let them in. Hanging up she phoned the gallery and told Madge the arrangement. She asked that Madge stay there while they searched the place.

After standing around eating bad food from the vending machines and drinking poor coffee and soda they all decided that sitting there wasn’t doing anyone a bit of good. The guys grabbed their bags and they called a cab to take them back to the apartment. Grace let them in. She obviously knew her way around as her palmprint was on the alarm plate and she knew the code. She unlocked the door to find the apartment in shambles. The officers had really ransacked the place. What a mess. The guys helped her straighten up but it took hours. She refused to allow them to help her in the bedroom after she saw that the officers had gone through the toy box. They must have really enjoyed it too as each and every toy was out of the drawer by the bed. She didn’t want the guys to see THAT. There weren’t a lot of toys but the fact that they existed would be embarrassing to them all. Madge came up while they were cleaning up and apologized. She’d been unable to stop them from moving things around and generally creating chaos. Grace found that they’d been thorough in the studio too. Tubes and a few can’s of paint were everywhere as well as other supplies.

Grace called Jack’s and had dinner delivered. She wasn’t up to cooking for the guys. Everyone had pitched in to clean up but very little had been spoken. The meal was hot and delicious but no one felt much like eating. Grace called the hospital several times for updates but there was nothing to tell, no news. Grace and the guys spoke about neutral subjects but it was stilted.

It was awkward when bedtime came around but Grace showed them where extra blankets were and the couch was pulled open to reveal the bed already made with sheets on it. The guys were using the spare bathroom and Grace let them alone as she went into the master bedroom and for the first time that she could remember the door was closed to it.

Adam turned to the others and said “She stays here?”

Amused Craig answered “She lives here with Mom, didn’t you know?”

“Well Mom mentioned that she had moved in but I guess I thought she had her own room. Oh God, have we taken her bed?”

Bryan was amused as well “No, I don’t think we’ve taken her bed. I think we have just found out that Mom and Grace are more than just friends if you get my drift.”

It took a few seconds to penetrate his brain, Adam was horrified. “Your saying Mom is a lesbian?”

“I’m saying that Grace makes Mom happy. If they are lovers, that’s their business.” Bryan shrugged it off as being no big deal. He’d seen a lot at college and he didn’t judge others. He sat in the recliner and pulled a blanket over himself.

Craig was sitting on the edge of the pull out bed. Turning he leaned against the back of it and grabbed the channel changer. Grace had turned on the music channel awhile ago. He turned it all off with a press of the button.

Adam couldn’t shrug it off like that. He made a horrified face and said “how can you talk like that? That’s your mother your talking about you know.” His voice was raising and the other two shushed him. They didn’t want Grace hearing their conversation. “Did you two know?”

Craig shrugged and said that he had suspected. Mom had not told any of them but it was not that hard to figure out when two woman of means moved in together. Besides hadn’t Adam noticed how happy Mom was since Grace had moved in?

Adam got onto the pull out on the other side. He was still horrified at the news.

Craig and Bryan talked things over with Adam for a good hour before he finally conceded that if Mom was happy this way then so be it. It wasn’t his choice. She hadn’t confided in any of them so it wasn’t his business. Beside they all admitted that Grace really did care for Mom.

Each went to sleep with their own thoughts on the situation. How weird to basically confirm that their mother who they had known all these years was leading a private life, and with a woman to boot.

~ CHAPTER 16 ~

Five days had dragged by since the ‘accident.’ The doctors had ruled out a lot of poisons but they still have no way of knowing what caused the incident. The police too had no clues. The theory was that some sort of airborne toxin came in the open window. Grace wasn’t buying that one. She did however make a formal protest at the state of the apartment and received written apologies from the officers involved.

Joan still laid there and they had moved her out of intensive care. The guys had no idea what to do with themselves. They wanted to be there for their mom but they were at loose ends. Grace gave them the keys to their mothers new car. She found in Joan’s purse the new insurance policy that Joan must have purchased that Monday. She warned the guys though if they put so much as a scratch on the car their mother would have their collective hides. They all took turns sitting with Joan and talking to her. The brain activity has risen but the doctor’s were cautious in saying anything. Grace was used to doctor double-talk but the guys were frustrated.

After five days of nothing they no longer knew what to do with themselves. No one wants to stray far from the hospital in case she wakes up but there is only so much to do there. Going to and from the apartment is all anyone seems to do. The guys start to bicker over their mother’s care. Grace who has had conversations with Joan over stuff like this tries not to get in the middle but when it is suggested that they take her off the machines she steps in and blasts them. There is brain activity. She is alive. She is off the ventilator and breathing on her own. Just because there is no quick fix doesn’t mean that she won’t wake up. They can’t give up hope. Craig tries to pacify Grace telling her that Mom had never wanted extraordinary measures. Grace knows that Joan wouldn’t want that and in turn tells him these aren’t. They are humane. The machines aren’t keeping her alive they are helping her, assisting her, monitoring and feeding her. There is still hope. She isn’t brain dead. She is fearful that the guys in their desperation will give up and make decisions that she cannot participate in. She is only here she knows, as a courtesy. If they wanted to make things difficult for her they could.

The doctor was recommending the possibility of long term care for their mother. The boys discuss about moving her back to Wisconsin so they can see her when they want. Grace is terrified they will take her and go but doesn’t voice her concerns.

The guys decide to take the car and head back to the apartment. Craig says he is going to check on some of the property Mom owns in LA and Orange County. He will be gone for hours. Adam tags along. Three people in the convertible is too many so Bryan sits at the apartment channel surfing.

Grace sits by the bed talking to Joan. She has big circles under her eyes as she has slept very little in the past five days. Taking Joan’s hand she pleads with her to wake up, give them a sign that she hears them. She too is frustrated at the waiting game but what else can they do. Sighing she puts her head down for a moment. Dozing she thinks she feels the hand she is holding squeeze hers. Her head whips up to look at Joan. “Joan, can you hear me? Wake up honey, wake up. Joan, if you can hear me, squeeze my hand again. Squeeze my hand, PLEASE!”

She watches Joans hand and then her face for some sign she hasn’t imagined things. Nothing. She must have wished for it or it had been an involuntary muscle spasm. There had been a lot of those. She was about to put her head down again on the edge of the bed when she felt distinctly a movement of the fingers and then a squeeze of her hand. Not tight but a definite squeeze. Joan’s breathing was normal but Grace was sure she heard a catch.

“Joan, darling, wake up. Please wake up. Squeeze my hand again. Joan?” She was almost sobbing in her excitement.

Another squeeze came and no more. Grace tried several times to get another one but a long time passed and she let it go. Joans doctor came in and Grace got up to report what had happened. He was interested but it seemed he didn’t really care. Grace was getting upset with him. She let him know it too. She was telling him off when she heard behind her “Grace,” a throaty whisper. She whipped around to see Joan staring sleepily at her. She went to the bed immediately and grabbed her hand.

“Oh my gawd, oh my gawd, your awake!” she sobbed. She couldn’t help herself the tears started flowing.

Dr Warniac butted in and started asking Joan questions. What did she remember, did she know where she was, how did she feel? He didn’t give her much time to answer before going on to the next question. Joan didn’t answer any of them but looked at him puzzled and sleepily. He pressed a button on the wall and called a nurse in. They went to the end of the bed and began discussing Joan as though she weren’t there.

Joan turned her eyes on Grace. Releasing Graces hand she reached up and caught a tear that was dripping down her face. Cupping her hand to Graces face she gave a little smile before she drifted off to sleep. Her hand fell down on the bed. It was a real sleep this time, they could tell by the monitors.

Grace left the room to go wash her face and call the guys. Bryan was the only one at the apartment and he had no way to get down there unless he called a cab. He could get a hold of Craig on his cell though. He’d be down himself in a few and if the cab took too long he’d run down. He was so excited.

Grace went and sat again by the bed. Bryan came in and sat with her. They whispered occasionally while they watched Joan sleep. A few hours later Craig and Adam came into the room. They were all sitting there when Joan woke up. The first person she saw was Grace and she gave her a sleepy little smile. Her eyes move around the room to each of the boys showing no surprise that they were there.

“Hi” her voice is raspy and not very loud.

Craig gets up and leans over his mother giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Hi Mom, you had us scared there for awhile.” He smiles into her face. She returns the smile. He backs off so that Adam and Bryan can say hello as well. Wiping a tear surreptitiously. Grace sits in her chair just watching it all.

Joan finally struggles to sit up. Her hair and the position of the bed prevent it though. Grace puts in her hand the controls to the bed and Joan raises up to a sitting position.

“It’s good to see you all” she rasps. Her glance encompasses her three boys and Grace, lingering there.

Laughing a little at her they all agree it is good to see her too. Grace asks her what she remembers. The last thing she does remember is painting in her studio before waking up here. This doesn’t help them solve the mystery of how she got here. She is puzzled as to why she is there and Grace explains. Alarmed Joan can only stare. Realizing how much she has concerned everyone she gets angry. She tries to get out of bed, wanting to go home. The boys convince her to stay until she is stronger at least. They physically keep her there until she agrees.

The doctor comes in and seeing his patient alert and talking he orders them all to leave so he can examine her.

Her eyes are shooting daggers at him, Joan rasps to him in no uncertain terms what she thinks about his dictates. She goes on to point out that her sons have traveled thousands of miles to be by her bedside and how dare he order them out of her room. She is getting herself upset and he orders the nurse for a tranquilizer. The boys try to calm her down insisting that they need to catch up on their sleep and they were going to go anyway. Grace has been trying to placate her since she started. Joan finally stops her tirade and agrees to stay calm if the arrogant S.O.B. would please leave the room. The doctor is miffed but complies.

Grace laughed at her in amazement. Joan is so feisty towards the doctor. Amazing woman. In a coma one minute, fighting with the man who may have saved her life the next. Shaking her head she is just so very happy to see Joan awake. HER exhaustion begins to catch up with her. Sitting in the chair holding Joans hand she begins to sob. Alarmed Joan reaches for her to take her in her arms. She nearly falls from the bed but Grace sits on the edge and they just hold each other. Joan begins to rock her back and forth, rubbing her back and shushing her. It’s so comforting to them both. Grace finally gets a hold of her emotions and sits back in the chair still holding Joan’s hand. She tells Joan about the horrible last 6 days. From finding her unconscious to the cops ransacking the apartment to the boys fighting about her care.

She doesn’t leave the hospital until very late and only after Joan has gone back to sleep. They’ve bent the rules about visiting hours because of her status as a physician but even then she didn’t want them to get angry at her taking advantage of the situation. Arriving back at the apartment she presses the button and parks her car in the garage. Turning off the engine she sits there listening to the garage door closing. Suddenly the overwhelming relief hits her and she begins to sob. She is crying there for a long time when Craig opens the door to the Jaguar and pulls her out of the car. Holding her in his arms he asks alarmed if something happened to his mother? She reassures him and understanding how tortured she has been he just holds her close. This perky brilliant doctor who seems so self assured loves his mother. It’s so apparent. Adam still can’t accept it but he at least will not say anything and tolerate it. Craig wants his mother to be happy. Grace is so wonderful to her. He’s watched her bathe his mother’s face and arms, rearrange her braids so they aren’t falling over her face, talk to her as though she was awake. Whatever they have it’s special. He almost envies them. He loves Jane but he wasn’t sure if it was in this way. After awhile Grace calms down and sniffs loudly. Apologizing to him for saturating his shirt with her tears he brushes that off and asks if she is going to be okay now? Nodding she reaches back into the car for her purse and they walk into the hallway and up the stairs, arm in arm with her leaning on him for support. They enter the apartment that way as well. Both Adam and Bryan are sitting there and turn in alarm at the tear streaked face of Grace. Grace walks quietly into the bedroom and shuts the door. They look expectantly at Craig.

“It’s okay. Grace just needs some sleep. It’s been rough on everyone these past few days.” He shrugs and sits down to channel surf.

Adam and Bryan exchange a look and watch the channels flickering by. After awhile the guys start talking about their mother quietly discussing her future care. No agreement is reached.

The next afternoon they are again discussing their mom’s care outside her room. Two want to move her to Wisconsin to watch her there, one objects. They don’t realize how loud they’ve become until they hear their mother yell from her room “I’m not deaf or dead yet!” Sheepishly they file into her room, hanging their heads. All adults they yet toe the line where their mother is concerned.

Grace has been sitting next to the bed talking with Joan. They had both stopped talking abruptly as the boys voices had gotten louder. Grace had been astonished when Joan yelled out to them.

“What’s wrong with you boys? I’m getting better. There is no need to be discussing me as though I can’t make competent decisions.” Her tone is a bit miffed. She has taken care of these boys for the last 20 plus years. They don’t take care of her! Finding herself weak and in the hospital has it’s disadvantages.

Craig steps forward “Mom, maybe we should head back home now that your better?”

Watching him she answers “Maybe you better. I had hoped to visit with you three longer but you’ve put your lives on hold for these past few days and it might be better if you do go.” She wasn’t happy about it.

The boys each take time to spend with their mother before they go. Grace goes back to work. People are treating her as though SHE has had an illness. A few are given enough information that they know that Dr. Monroe’s ‘partner’ is on the path to recovery.

The last day the boys are in town they leave the Mercedes in the garage and take a cab to the medical center. Leaving their bags on the floor by her door they each talk with her a final time before they must leave. Craig is the last to hug and kiss her. Adam and Bryan are standing, waiting by the door.

“You going to be okay now Mom?” He hands her her keys to the apartment and the Mercedes.

“Yes, I’m too ornery to give up now.” She smiles. Putting up her hand she puts an errant lock of his hair back on his head. Her handsome boy is such a man. “My car is still in one piece isn’t it?”

Assuring her it is fine he asks “are you happy?” His eyes bore into hers. No one has dared discuss her living arrangements with her but this is as close as they will get. Adam and Bryan are listening, intently.

“Yes, she makes me very happy. She takes care of me, I take care of her. Thank you for asking” she had been going to say thank you for accepting but thought that would be like asking their permission to have her relationship with Grace.

Kissing her one more time he turns to go. “Hey you guys, don’t be such strangers. You have to visit more often.”

They salute her and pick up their bags smiling at her as they go. Alone once again she sits there and thinks. Shaking her head at the events of the past two weeks. Most of which she can’t remember. Grace had suggested hypnosis but the thought of it made Joan uncomfortable and it was decided that they would see if time could heal her.

Joan waited hours for a nurse, a doctor, or even Grace whom she knew was back at work, to visit. No one came. Getting bored she pulled the sheets back and climbed out of bed. All the bedtime has made her lightheaded and weak on her feet. A nurse finally comes in later to find Joan dressing herself and she tries to stop her. Finally she rushes to find the doctor. He too tries to talk her out of it. They try to take her clothes away from her but at this point all they can get are her socks and shoes. She’s managed to get her underwear, jeans, and blouse on. The socks and shoes had defeated her since she had to bend down which caused a head rush. The nurse pages Grace frantically. When she calls they tell her what is going on and she rushes from her hospital. Joan lays back down dressed except for her shoes and socks to rest. This poisoning or whatever has really taken a lot from her. Her stamina just isn’t there. Dozing a good hour goes by. She finally gets up the energy to make another try when Grace rushes in.

“What are you doing?” She asked alarmed. She went to push Joan back against the bed. Weak, Joan can’t really resist and it annoys her no end.

“Look, I can’t do anything laying in this bed and I want to go.” Tired, frustrated, she pushes weakly against Graces restraint.

“No, no you need to stay here and rest. What if you have a relapse? What if there is something else causing all this? You need to STAY here.” Concern is etched all over Graces face. She is pleading with Joan to make some sense of it all to her.

“Grace, I’m going stark starring mad sitting here.” Smiling lamely she adds “try saying that three times fast.”

“Fine, but you need to be looked after. Your not 100 percent. You need to stay in the hospital for a few more days.”

“No, they don’t know I’m even here. I’m better. I feel better. I want to go HOME!” She’s getting angry now and it brought some energy to her.

The doctor walked in at that point and she turned on him. “You better get the paperwork for me to sign out or I’m just going to walk out of here. Remove this damn cord from my arm” she indicates the IV “I’m leaving and no one here is going to stop me.” She stands up and Grace takes a step back. Joan stands there weaving trying not to collapse back onto the bed.

The doctor sighs and turns to the nurse who has followed him in. “Take out her IV get the paperwork for AMA” He turns to leave but Graces voice stops him.

“DOCTOR! How can you just let her go?” She is alarmed and frowning at him. Anger shown plainly on her beautiful face. Her brows lowered and her eyes flashing.

Shrugging he says “I can’t keep her here against her will. I could send her to a rehab home,” he sees Joan stiffen at that “but I don’t think that wise. She’ll have to come back for a wellness check in say a week?” Joan nods at this as the nurse removes the needle from her arm, taping the spot with a bandage. He turns and leaves the room.

The nurse comes back in a few minutes with the necessary paperwork for Joan to sign. Grace has tried reasoning with her to no avail. Her doctor patient voice in full tune. Joan ignores all her reasons and then turns to her and says simply “I want to go HOME.” The nurse returns her shoes and socks and Joan attempts to put them on herself. Leaning over she almost falls from the bed. Exasperated at Joan’s stubbornness Grace takes the first sock from her and helps put it on. She does the other and then helps with the shoes. Taking Joan’s arm she helps her to the wheelchair the nurse has brought and wheels her out to the Jaguar. Joan unsteadily gets in the front seat. Laying back she sighs. Grace buckles her in and goes around to the drivers side and gets in. Joan is exhausted. Grace never says another word about what just happened and drives them home. It takes forever to get Joan up the stairs and into the apartment. Beyond exhaustion she collapses on the bed and is instantly asleep. Grace checks on her several times while she takes care of other things, letting her sleep.

In the past two weeks Grace hasn’t had time to check the mail and quite a pile has built up. All the bills she places in one pile, ads she looks through quickly and tosses on the recycling pile. A few other odds and ends she goes through and sorts. There are a few letters for Joan she puts aside. Then she tackles the bills. It takes her until after midnight before she is through. All the bills are paid, all the envelopes are stamped and ready to go out the next day. The desk is clean. She makes herself a cup of cocoa the old fashioned way, she microwaves it. She goes into check on Joan again, watching her sleep. She is still worried about her.

Grace has to go back to work the next day but she calls Joan three times a day to check up on her. After a week of this they both begin to relax. Joan has a good appetite, her energy levels have almost come back completely, her mind is active and she certainly has her spark back. She’s restless. After lying around reading everything in sight she decides to take a walk or maybe a jog on the beach, not too far but just to get out of the apartment. She’s got cabin fever. Never one to sit still for too long she changes into jogging clothes and gets her sneakers and goes. Grabbing her keys she slips them into her jogging pouch.

Grace gets home at 5:45. The past few weeks had gotten her behind but she feels she is at least over the hump and caught up on everything. With a happy step she enters the apartment. “Joan?” She calls. No answer. Alarmed she checks the bed which is unmade, not unusual as Joan hardly ever makes the bed, she checks the bathroom, the studio, the other bathroom. No Joan. Going back to the bedroom she sees that Joan has changed her clothes, leaving what she was wearing on the bench. Alarmed she doesn’t know where Joan is. Just then she hears the key in the door and rushes to the kitchen as Joan comes in all out of breath and dripping sweat. Alarmed Grace asks her if she is okay. Smiling Joan tells her about her jog on the beach. How refreshing, how free it felt.

Immediately angry Grace tells her “you should take better care of yourself. Don’t you know that people worry about you?” Her relief that Joan is okay has her behaving a little irrationally.

Surprised at Graces vehemence Joan lashes back. “I didn’t ask to get sick. I’m sorry I worried all of you. I didn’t think though that everyone would be molly-coddling me forever.”

They end up having a rip roaring fight. Both air all their grievances. Grace has been handling Joan with kid gloves. Joan has been deliberately pushing herself. They end up shouting at each other.

Finally Joan stalks off to take a much needed shower. She washes her hair through the braids. She notices in the mirror that her braids need to be fixed and soon. All these weeks of being ill and staying in bed she hasn’t had a lot of time for herself. She unbraids a couple of the braids, brushes them, combs them, and rebraids them. There is over 40 braids on her head so she can’t do all of them tonight but she gets a few done. Even so she takes over an hour in the bathroom.

Grace knocks on the door “are you okay?”

Answering that she is, Joan pulls on her robe and grabs her dirty clothes and puts them in the hamper. Exiting the bathroom she finds that Grace has made dinner. They are still not speaking. Joan doesn’t sit down at the bar to eat but instead heads into the studio to putz, closing the door behind her. Hours later she comes out. She’s tired from her exertions of the day and heads for bed. Grace has cleaned up the kitchen, put away the leftovers, and has been sitting in front of the tv watching the news and a sitcom which she never even saw, so lost in thought she is. She hears Joan go to bed without a word but doesn’t join her. Joan wakes up about 2 AM to find herself alone in the bed. They have never gone to bed angry with each other and this is a new thing. Worried about her Joan finds Grace curled up on the couch with an afghan. She sits down on the coffee table and watches as Grace sleeps. Feeling Joan’s eyes on her Grace awakens. She hasn’t slept deeply anyway as she was disturbed by their fight. They watch each other warily for awhile before Joan leans over and kisses her. Joan trys to deepen the kiss as Grace responds, but Grace pulls away. Thinking that Grace is still mad about the fight, Joan tells her that she is sorry about before. She reaches out to hold Graces hand and pulls it up for a kiss. Grace watches her sadly.

Joan is feeling bad. Her heart feels heavy in her chest. She had sounded petty and childish to her own ears. She desperately wants to make up. She begins to tell Grace about what she is feeling. To her supreme mortification Grace bursts into tears and holds her hands to her face. She quickly sits next to Grace and gathers her into an embrace. Holding her and kissing her she calms her. She is upset too. The last few weeks have left them both emotionally drained. After awhile Grace stops crying and just breathes. Trying to calm the little hiccup in her. Finally Grace looks up and tells Joan about how she is feeling. She opens up as she never has before. She pours out her love to Joan. Her fears over the past weeks, her fear that Joan will leave her. Deeply moved Joan kisses her and holds her close, assuring her that she loves her too. That she doesn’t plan on going anywhere. That she wants Grace with her always.

Calming down Grace is a little embarrassed. The raw emotions have her in tatters. Joan finally leads her to their bed and begins to make love to her. They haven’t made love since before the ‘accident.’ Grace feels fairly numb but Joan is patient and persistant, inventive and loving. Her patience pays off and Grace responds. Desperately she pulls at Joan. Joan gets such a response out of Grace that it leaves them both gasping. Grace feels so wonderful. This beautiful woman that she loves has brought her to such a state. Joan has never worked so hard for them both, exhausted, both emotionally and phsycially she catches her breath. She doesn’t think of it as work though, she thinks of it as fulfillment for both of them. Finally they are able to cuddle up and sleep.

~ CHAPTER 17 ~

Weeks have gone by. Joan finishes Jack’s commissions and digitizes them and delivers them. He’s heard of her illness and crass as it sounds tells her about how valuable it made her work. Shaking her head at his rudeness she collects the last of her money and bids him goodbye. She can’t believe how people assume with an artists death that their work is better or more valuable. Yes, that means there will be no further releases and the ones out there are limited in number but she has always produced consistently high levels of work. To imply they are more valuable from her death is wrong.

She and Grace spend time going to dinner with friends. Among the friends they go out with are Joanne, Tracey, and Addie. Joanne is aware of Joan’s illness as she goes to lunch periodically with Grace but Tracey and Addie are all ears. Amazed at her close shave Joan jokes that someone tried to off her to make her paintings more valuable. Grace is hurt and angry at this joke and tells her so. Making a tense situation until Joan apologizes. She went on to explain what happened with Jack and wonders if perhaps others had thought the same.

Moving on to other topics Tracey asks when they are going to Fiji. Having completely forgot to file her passport paperwork and photo, Grace has to do so now. It should take weeks. The post office said at least six. This may put them into the busy tourist season that they had wanted to avoid. At least the weather should be good. They begin discussing the pros and cons of traveling. Tracey works in a travel agency and is quite knowledgeable. The evening turns out to be a pleasant one for all.

Driving back in the Mercedes Joan and Grace have the top down. It’s late and the Indian summer weather is just what one expects of Southern California. They’ve enjoyed their evening. Their lives are fairly normal for them. It’s just oh so pleasant. Joan notices though in her rear view mirror that a car seems to be following them. Not to alarm Grace she watches it follow them from the restaurant onto the freeways and then through the canyon. Too much of a coincidence that route. Finally she mentions it to Grace. Looking in the side mirror she watches it for awhile. What can they see but the lights. Discussing it Joan decides to stop at the Malibu police department. As soon as they pull into the police driveway the car speeds away. Both of them watch it and try to get the license plate. Only partial is readable. Going inside Joan makes out a report. The officer who had taken Graces report the night of the accident comes by to see what is up. Asking him if there is anything new about that case he shakes his head. It’s a cold case now. Weeks have gone by since the incident and there are no clues. Curious as to why they are there Joan explains about the car following them. They got a partial of the plate and the make of the car but it’s not much to go on. Probably someone saw two woman alone and thought he could do something. The way they shrug all this off makes Joan pissed. Angrily she drives them home. Grace is a bit put out as well. It’s like they are imagining things and the cops just don’t care.

That weekend they go up into the mountains. There has been an early snowfall and they stop to have cocoa and eat. It’s beautiful up here in the mountains. Talking, Joan suggests they get a cabin for the weekend and then surprises Grace that she already has. Joan had snuck a suitcase of winter clothes into the trunk. They have a beautiful weekend, walking in the snow and the brisk air, building a snowman, having a snow ball fight, making love in front of the roaring fire. All too soon they have to go back to the beauty of Malibu. It’s rained that morning and by afternoon the skies are all clear. The waves on the beach are still beating out a tattoo but the air is so clear. It brings home the reason they live there and they are content.

Monday Grace goes back to work. It’s a crazy day for the psychiatric department. Tensions are high due to media coverage of some gang disturbances in the downtown area. Several people have been admitted through the ER for fighting and shooting. A couple end up in their area of the hospital for holds. A thoroughly full day for the staff. Grace ends up doing some major overtime. After her wonderful weekend the contrast is disappointing. She hasn’t been happy at her job in awhile. It’s just exhausting trying to help people who don’t want it. She doesn’t like working down here anymore. It isn’t challenging anymore. It’s frightening somedays. She is always glad to get in her Jaguar and drive away now to go home. Home was where Joan would be. Happy to see her.

Joan was working on several projects that she had thought of while in the hospital. Allan had contacted her again about doing a world tour. She had gone to several different conventions around the country under Allan’s tutelage over the last months. Those weekends away had been easier than the ones that she had planned and promoted. The ease in which he handled things made his fees worth every penny. She wasn’t away for more than a few days. A week at most. Coming home to Grace was always great though. A few weekends Grace had actually gotten away with her. She was amazed to fly first class, something Joan insisted on whenever she could. She felt that was one of the perks she HAD earned over the years.

Joan picked up a canvas that she had started weeks and weeks ago or so she thought. It was odd she remembered starting to work on it but there wasn’t anything on it. Remembering the can of paint she had gotten free months ago she looked for it. With all the chaos over the last weeks and straightening up of her studio it took her awhile to find it. It was pushed to the back of the credenza. Of course it was the last can in there. Why would she continue to look if she had found it sooner, she laughed at her own jest. Pulling the can out she neatly put everything else away the way she liked it. The can looked like it had been opened but she didn’t remember having ever opened it. Wanting to start the new canvas she stood up and opened it with a screwdriver, placing it on the top of the credenza. A noxious fume escaped and she backed away. She put the cover quickly back on but didn’t tap it down. She reached the ceiling fan which she turned on and whipped the fumes around the room. She couldn’t get the window to open. She had trouble focusing on the panel. She could feel herself losing consciousness. She reached for the phone and dialed 911. She could hear it connect but could not answer as she fell to the floor.

Grace was driving down Pacific Coast Highway when she saw lights and sirens about the gallery. Wondering what in the world she pulled up into the driveway. A police officer immediately told her she would have to move. An ambulance was pulling out and she moved her car to the side. Getting out of the car she was again approached by the officer and he demanded to know who she was and what she was doing here. She explained that she lived upstairs in the apartment and she had just gotten home from work. The guy called her Miss and she corrected him with Doctor. She wanted to know what was going on. She saw Madge talking to the police. Suddenly she realized that she didn’t see Joan. Alarmed she demanded to know what had happened. The police office wasn’t very forthcoming but she was becoming hysterical and he told he just wasn’t sure. Running up to Madge, Grace asked her. Madge told her she didn’t know either but that Joan had called 911 for some reason. They had found her on the floor of the studio. Just then a Hazardous Materials Unit pulled up and guys in yellow protective suits rushed up the stairs. The police had the door wide and the alarm was apparently off. Grace made as if to follow and an officer stopped her. It was the one who had taken their report initially. He explained that they had found Joan on the floor. Her breathing was very shallow and the studio had been filled with toxic fumes. They had pulled her out into the driveway and Haz Mat would take care of the apartment. Frantically Grace asked about Joan. He explained that the ambulance had taken her. Turning she ran to her car to pull away. She had to maneuver around the Haz Mat truck. The cop tried to stop her but she screeched for him to get out of her way or she’d run him down. Her car squealed onto Pacific Coast Highway narrowly missing another cop car and she sped off down to the medical center.

Leaving her car parked in the ER bay she ran inside. Frantically she asked at the desk about the status of Joan. A doctor came out into the hallway. He recognized her from the last time. He explained that this time was more serious. That Joan had inhaled more of the toxins and as her system had been bombarded once before her immunity was lessened. Since they had a better idea this time of what happened they were able to treat her differently. Better, more efficiently. Joan was intibated. She was on complete oxygen. Her lungs had totally shut down. Her convulsions this time had been horrific and they would be worried about brain damage later. Right now it was a waiting game. Grace asked to see her, to sit with her. He led her to the bed. Joan looked more fragile this time. The circles under her eyes looked as though someone had beat her. The doctor explained that the toxins inhaled had attacked her thoroughly, more intensely this time. The oxygen in her blood was causing these signs. Seeing the machines, knowing that this was the only thing keeping her alive made Grace weak. She fainted.

Coming to she immediately remembered where she was and why. Trying to sit up suddenly she was assailed by light headedness. She remembered she hadn’t eaten since breakfast that day either. She had to get to Joan. A nurse came in the room just then and she bombarded her with questions she could not answer. Finally the doctor came in and told her Joan’s status. It sounded eerily familiar. Since they now had the guys phone numbers on hand they had already phoned them and apprised them of the situation. Grace felt strangely as though through fainting she had let Joan and the boys down. Dismissing this feeling as being irrational she followed the doctor to the ICU. Sitting down in the chair it gave her another eery familiarity. Only Joan looked worse this time. Perhaps it had struck her harder. Perhaps her immunities were weaker. She looked horrible.

Awhile later two officers asked to speak to her. Leaving Joan was hard but there was nothing for her to do but wait. The officers explained that the Haz Mat was investigating the toxins found in a paint can in the studio. They asked about the paints that Joan used and where she bought them. Grace gave them the name of the Ventura art store that Joan used as well as the one in LA she sometimes traveled to. They informed her that it appeared to have come from the one can but to be safe Haz Mat had confiscated all of the paint. Joan would be angry at that, thought Grace. Asking if it was safe at the apartment now they told her they would let her know when Haz Mat had cleared it. That since it had become airborne they needed to make sure that it was safe.

Grace was sitting for hours. Her stomach cramped and she forced some food into it from the vending machines. She called Jo to cancel plans that they had for lunch and to explain what was going on. Craig walked into the ICU waiting room the next day to see Grace surrounded by Joanne, Addie, Tracey, Tina, and Ken. He had just come from his mothers room. He too felt the weird coincidence of it. Going to Grace he enveloped her in a bear hug. Thrilled to see him she sat him down and introduced their friends. Jack even came by, and the waitress Marie. It seemed their small knit community had heard it all within a few hours this time. Joan was well known and popular. Madge came by, her part time assistant Amy came by. Only Grace and Craig could go in to sit with her but neither could do anything and talking with others helped. Adam and Bryan had stayed home this time but Craig called them every few hours to apprise them of the situation. Adam was at his new job and Bryan was at school.

Days went by with the same sameness as before. Friends trickled in and out. Joans status was upgraded until finally they removed the tube and she breathed on her own. Haz Mat took two days to clear the apartment for occupancy and Grace didn’t care as she was staying at the hospital anyway.

Joan was unconscious for a total of 10 days this time. Craig had towards the end talked about putting her in a long term care facility. The hospital didn’t want to keep her but fortunately she woke up. Grace was angry at both the hospital and Craig this time. She wanted Joan near, she knew how Joan felt about care facilities where a lot of the time they couldn’t keep decent people and the care suffered as a result. With Joan’s previous illness they had talked about a lot of those things. With Graces insight to the medical profession she wasn’t too happy about it either.

Joan woke up on a stormy afternoon. Grace had been sitting there daydreaming with her head on the edge of the bed when she felt a hand caressing her hair. Looking up quickly she was thrilled to see Joans green eyes bright and cheerily looking back at her. She quickly stood over her to kiss her on the cheek. “Hello there.”

A raspy voice responded “Hi.”

Grace sat on the edge of the bed and just looked at Joan. Reaching out with her right hand she held Joans left. Her braids needed attention. The hospital had kept her clean but her hair looked oily. Her face had lost it’s summer tan and she was very pale against her red brown hair. With the illness she was pasty. Grace caressed the side of her face in loving gestures as Craig walked into the room.

Catching them in what he considered an intimate moment he almost turned to walk out then he realized his mother was awake. “MOM” he boomed heartily to cover finding them in this awkward moment.

Grace stood up but didn’t let go of Joans hand. She smiled at Craig.

Joan smiled dreamily at Craig and rasped “Hey.”

“How you feeling?”

“Tired” came the raspy answer.

“Well you’ve been sleeping for 10 days, how can you be tired?” Craig was trying to amuse her.

With alarm Joan looked at Grace who nodded to confirm how long Joan had been out.

Trying to sit up a little she could see Joan was stuck, Grace reached for the bed control and raised her. “I don’t remember.” She rasped.

Grace hurried to reassure her, telling her it would probably come to her later. The doctor walked in just then on his rounds with a group of interns trailing behind him. Seeing his patient finally awake he asked Grace and Craig to leave so he could examine her. Joan shot daggers with her eyes at him for this but Grace and Craig knowing the routine left the room.

Craig asked Grace how long his mother had been awake and she told him only a few minutes. She had just woken up. He was relieved. He too knew his mothers views on extended care. Over the months since her last episode she had learned everything from Grace and the boys about what had gone on regarding her care. In some carefully worded emails she had blasted all of the boys and let her wishes be known in no uncertain terms.

Two days later Craig went home. Joan had him taking care of the California properties now too. With her illnesses and work she hadn’t time to tend to it all and his office was set up for this very thing. Adam and Bryan both sent her flowers and called daily. They wanted to know is she wanted them to come out but she didn’t see the point.

Strangely she was subdued this time and let the therapy people work with her on her recovery. Perhaps it was the police report that showed the Haz Mat report. She’d read it thoroughly and added what she could remember, again it wasn’t much. She did remember the can and where she had gotten it though. It was the freebie that she had been given at the other art supply house she had tried near Port Hueneme. Turned out that this guy was the one following her and Grace that night and his partial plate as well as the vehicle matched their descriptions. He had also given cans such as hers to two other well known artists who hadn’t survived. Their works were immediately going up in value and he hoped to capitalize on some of her work as well. They had him in custody. Joan was feeling ill at the thought of how close she had come to dying from this man’s plans.

Grace was very upset when it all became clear. She wanted to protect Joan but how do you do that with a famous person. The papers sensationalized things and Joan’s galleries both picked up a lot of business. A lot of people came in the Malibu gallery to look around too. Not buyers, just the morbidly curious.

An undercover cop was placed outside Joan’s door for the duration of her stay at the hospital. After a week of therapy though she started to get antsy and they let her go home. Grace and Joan made sure the alarm system was on at all times.

Grace had missed a lot of work and she put in overtime to make up for it. The hospital was understanding but it wasn’t like it had been for herself, her child, or a spouse. They didn’t consider Joan anything other than a friend. There came a point when it became almost impossible to work. Between the gossip and the politics Grace was hating the place more and more. It wasn’t a family place in any sense of the word and they turned out numbers as though the people had no souls. She was sick of the place.

Her passport arrived and she and Joan discussed taking the vacation. Joan was still weak but wanted to get away. Grace was due the two weeks for vacation. She had taken sick days and leave for her time off with Joan. They decided to go at Christmas. Two weeks, just the two of them and they began to plan accordingly. Grace called the number and things were activated. Grace put in for her two weeks of vacation and they were granted. They pulled Joans luggage out of storage and Grace got to use her new birthday presents.

~ CHAPTER 18 ~

The two weeks were fabulous. Never having traveled other than the few weekends around the country with Joan, Grace was enthralled. They were treated almost royally she felt with their first class accommodations. All the best seating, all the best hotel rooms, all the best food. It was exactly what the doctor had ordered. The beaches were gorgeous and Joan worked on getting her tan back. She even dared Grace into going to a nude beach or two. Grace loved looking at Joan from behind her sunglasses. Her nude body stretched out on the sand lapping up the sun. Oiling each other led to other more pleasant things which they took inside to their rooms. They saw fabulous sites and drank exotic drinks. It was a lovers paradise. So open. No one cared that they were two woman. No one cared that they were openly gay here. They still practiced discretion but there was a barrier let down here. She saw it continually around her. Not just gays but people in general were freer here. The nude beaches, the wild partying, the dancing. Everyone was out to enjoy themselves and did. Joan was tanned again with no tan lines and Grace looked wonderful as well. She had been ashamed to realize how old her body had become and sagging but Joan made her feel so loved and so beautiful it just didn’t matter. Grace couldn’t seem to keep her hands to herself either. After two weeks neither wanted to go home.

They arrived home and both had a hard time falling back into their routines. Joan had a series of pictures taken of herself for the next catalog. She wouldn’t agree to a world tour yet but Allan insisted on the pictures especially after taking a meeting with her and seeing her after the trip. The tan had made her look so healthy and alive. Her eyes sparkled. The sun had reddened her hair. She had gone to a salon and had them rebraid her hair. It looked wonderful. She felt wonderful and agreed to the pictures. It was amazing to her how they made her look. At 42 she looked better than she had in her life. Allan got her plenty of publicity too for the catalog and business boomed. It had helped the notoriety of her stalker and the news reports of that but she brushed that under the carpet. The trial would be in about six months, so much for speedy process. Then much to everyone’s amazement the guy plead guilty and got three life sentences. Two for the murders and one for her attempted murder. With California’s over-populated prison’s though he might be out in 15 years, who knew. She was relieved to know that chapter in her life was over.

Grace came back to the hospital to find that there seemed to be a lot of politics going on while she was gone. Between her absences when Joan was ill and her vacation she was low man on the totem pole. Angry she became even more unhappy at her work. Seeing Joan so excited about her new catalog she tried to hide her own unhappiness. She started looking around for another position. Malibu Medical Center had been interested despite her demeanor during Joans illnesses. She spoke several times with the head of psychiatry there about the possibility of coming to work there. She just didn’t feel right about it though.

~ CHAPTER 19 ~

Joan and Grace went in January to attend Bryan’s graduation. Through hard work and some summer courses he was graduating early. He was anxious to go to work at the foundation with Craig. Joan stood there clapping she was so proud of her son. Her baby was graduating from college. She had stood on this very spot two years ago for Adam. Adam had chosen to work elsewhere but he was content. He was dating a woman he had met through his work who happened to live in LA. He had visited with her and she had helped him through things when Joan was ill the first time. He hinted that marriage might be down the line.

For a gift Joan gave Bryan a world tour. He would spend 4 months traveling and seeing anything and everything he could. She wouldn’t give him first class accommodations. She insisted that he was young and would enjoy staying at hostels in Europe. On his itinerary was England, France, Belgium, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Italy, Turkey, Egypt, and more. He couldn’t wait to get started and was truly thankful for the gift from his mother.

Grace gave him a complete luggage set. She had gone with Joan to pick it out. Joan took her to a shop down in Orange County that had nothing but luggage and they had discussed the various merits of different kinds. Hard or soft, large or small, wheels or not. Finally agreeing on what they thought he would like, need, and use they went downtown to LA for the less expensive, right off the ship kind and Grace purchased several pieces. She gave him a backpack for his hostel stays in Europe. Hard luggage for the rest of the trip. All fitted within the largest case.

Craig and Jane with little three year old Aaron and Janes bulging stomach gave him golf clubs that he laughed about. He always said executives only got to be executives by playing golf. He would now have to learn.

Adam surprised them all by giving Bryan the key to his townhome. He told him he was welcome to stay there anytime as he himself was buying a house. Bryan could only give him a big hug in thank you. He realized then that he no longer had a place to live. He had lived in the dorms for all these years, never gotten a place off campus, and his mother didn’t even live in the state.

While in Wausau they stayed with Craig and Jane. Jane disapproved immediately of them staying in the same bedroom but didn’t say a word. Grace went to renew her contacts in Wausau that she had made a couple of years ago. Mentioning her displeasure about working in LA she was offered a position at Wausau Central. Surprised and delighted she told them she would think it over and get back to them. She came in to find Jane and Joan discussing things LOUDLY. Jane immediately stopped in mid sentence but Joan took up the where Jane had left off.

“Where the hell do you think it all comes from?” Grace had rarely seen Joan in such a temper.

She dropped her coat and purse on a chair and came into the living room where they were both standing. Concern etched on her face. She stayed quiet though, just observing.

Jane was reluctant to talk in front of Grace. That became obvious by her silence. Grace finally turned and grabbed her purse and coat and climbed the stairs to the room they had been using.

“How dare you speak to me in such a manner?” If Grace had any thought that Jane had been the demure, quiet type, that was quickly gone with that screech.

Joan lowered her voice but Grace could still hear things clearly in the quiet house. Strangely the baby wasn’t crying. “I’ll dare anything I damn well please. It’s my money to do with as I see fit.”

Words continued to be exchanged for quite some time. Apparently all of this had been building for years. They both vented on each other. Quite loudly at that. Suddenly with a loud bang the door to the garage flew open and Craig came hurrying in with baby Aaron. “What the hell is going on here? I could hear you in the garage with the door SHUT when I drove in!”

Grace decided to stay in their room but then deciding it was gutless of her she started to come down the stairs. Jane was in tears. Joans tan face was flushed. Her eyes snapped. Grace had never ever seen her so angry.

“What the HELL is going on here?” He repeated. Aaron began to cry. Craig put him down and he tried to run to his mother but her crying scared him. His grandma’s face scared him. Spotting Grace he ran to her, she picked him up and slowly carried him upstairs to play in his room.

An hour later Joan joined them. Grace and Aaron had a pretty good Lego and Lincoln Log town made on the floor. Joan sat on the floor with them asking if she could play too. Aaron was suspicious but seeing a pleasant look on Grandma’s face he said yes and proceeded to tell her in a lot of incomplete sentences what they had been doing, what the people were doing, their daily lives. One thing led to another and he had told her the life story of almost everyone in town. She played along and he loved her for it. Grace played too and watched in amusement as Grandma tickled and teased her grandson.

All too soon Craig came in to announce that it was Aaron’s dinner time and would they all please come down. Grace, Grandma, and Aaron quickly cleaned themselves up leaving the town to play with for another time. Hand in hand Aaron led them downstairs to dinner. Swinging between them off the last step. He climbed into his high chair like a big boy and ate everything set before him. He didn’t even realize some of his most hated foods were on his plate. He had the undivided attention of Grace and Grandma and he was loving every minute of it. He even ate extra just to extend the time before bathtime. Jane took him away and he had a slight temper tantrum at that. Craig lingered at the table talking with Grace and Joan.

Craig and Grace had worked out a way to get her portfolio going. She basically turned over her savings account to him and he would invest it for her. It was really a huge leap of faith for her but seeing the marvels he worked with Joans money she was certain she could trust him with it. It scared her not to have the money to fall back on but she needed something for retirement other than her IRA and he promised to take care of it for her.

Joan watched proudly as her son explained options to Grace. What had started as a game as a youth had become a sound business idea to the man. He took risks occasionally but overall he took care of the money. He had a knack for finding weird but profitable deals. She wasn’t always certain she agreed with him and occasionally they butted heads. Overall though she let him have free reign of it all. It was his job.

They cleaned up the table putting away the leftovers and sitting in the living room drinking wine and listening to music, discussing various things when Aaron came down to say goodnight. He went first to Grandma and gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek shyly. Next came Craig, a hug and a tickle there. Then much to her surprise Grace got a bear hug and a squeeze. He told her that she was his favorite Grace. Like one would have a favorite toy. He didn’t realize that the name was Grace and thought it instead as a thing. Jane led him away for his bedtime story.

That night Grace asked Joan what that afternoon had been about that she had walked in on. Joan explained that Jane had gotten it into her head that all the money in the foundation was the family money and that she should have whatever she wanted whenever she wanted as well as a say in how it was spent and where. Craig had been controlling the purse strings she felt. Joan was sure a lot of Jane’s problem stemmed from the hormonal imbalance of her pregnancy and that had set her off. However, some of the problems had been building for years. They had cleared the air between the three of them though and she was relieved. Craig had explained, probably for the millionth time that the money was his mother’s and NOT anyone else’s. He only administered it. He told Jane in no uncertain terms that she was out of line and disrespectful to his mother. Joan had made sure though that Jane knew he wasn’t taking sides.

Grace told Joan about the job offer of that afternoon. Joan was surprised as she hadn’t known about Graces inquiries of two years prior. Grace told her everything. How bad it had gotten at LA Medical, how much she hated it now. The job offer in Malibu. The job offer here in Wausau. She suggested they think about moving back here. Joan was flabbergasted. She thought Grace would never want to move out of Southern California. She’d been born and raised there. Grace explained how unhappy she was in her work. How frightened she’d been at Joan’s illnesses and that she liked Wausau and it’s small town atmosphere. Dangling it like a carrot she mentioned that Joan would see her boys and grandchildren more often. Joan laughed at that.

Over the next two days of their stay they discussed the relative merits of moving back. They couldn’t move to the apartment above the gallery there as it was sublet and way too small anyway. Renting out the Malibu apartment would be no problem. Joan borrowed Craig’s four wheel drive Cherokee one afternoon and took Joan out for a drive. Not knowing where they were going Grace commented that it was way too cold in January to be going for a picnic. Joan drove up the 51 freeway and got off on a frontage road, near the city but not populated. Driving awhile she slowed to take a side road. It was rutted and not paved. She shifted the 4-wheel drive on and continued on. Grace hung on for dear life as they bounced along what looked like a logging trail. Into the woods they went and then were stopped by trees and brush. Joan put on her gloves and hat and asked that Grace do the same and button up. It was January in Wisconsin and cold! She headed off down what looked a game trail going East into the woods. After awhile Grace asked where the heck were they going. They’d been hiking a long ways and although she wasn’t frightened she was concerned that they would become lost. Joan said don’t worry, we’re almost there. They came to a hill full of trees that led down to what looked like a lake. Joan stopped on the top of the hill and asked Grace to look around her.

What Grace saw was trees everywhere she looked. They stood at the top of the hill with it’s slopes and dips down to the frozen waters edge. It was quiet and serene. You couldn’t see anything or anyone. It was a long ways from the road but with the trail that had to of been hard to tell how far they walked. Finally she looked at Joan who had been watching her. Grinning impishly Joan asked her what she thought. “It’s beautiful. Where are we in a park or state forest?”

“No, we’re home.” With that cryptic statement Joan began carefully climbing down the hill using trees to control her decent.

Grace said “What?” and followed but Joan wouldn’t answer until they stood along the lake shore. It was actually a river. Wide enough to be a lake at this point. It was wild and primitive and far away from anything. It was beautiful with the snow covered ice. Grace repeated “What?”

Joan smiled again at her and said “Welcome home” she indicated with her arms spread encompassing everything around them.

Grace watched this mad woman swing about with her arms raised. She’d seen a lot of strange things in her job but Joan was really amusing her. She waited for Joan to stop. She was breathing hard.

“What do you think of living here?” Joan asked her.

“I think we’d freeze out asses out here on the ice” she responded dryly.

Laughing Joan said “No, no. We could build a house up there on the hill and LIVE here.”

Grace looked to where Joan was pointing. Looking around she thought she hadn’t ever seen a lovelier setting. “Do you own this?” she asked.

“Yes” Joan quietly answered with the quiet woods listening.

“Wow, this is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Would you really want to build a house though here?” Grace was overwhelmed by it all. This woman never ceased to amaze her.

Joan went to her and took her in her arms. A cold nose nuzzled under her ear. “I want to live here with you if you really want to move back here, let’s build a home for us.”

Thrilled at the place, excited about Joan accepting the idea of getting out of California, Grace was enthused. All the way back to the Cherokee they discussed what they wanted in a house. The things they wanted inside, outside. Grace had never owned a house must less built one. It was exciting.

~ CHAPTER 20 ~

Over the next few weeks in California they continued to discuss what they would like it to look like. What would go where. Joan sketched out a plan for the house itself from the front view, the back view, the sides. Then each floor. They decided that with the woods surrounding it they didn’t want to cut down too many of the trees. They would build a chalet style of house. It would have three floors including the basement. The upstairs would be for their bedroom, a large bathroom, and a studio for Joan. The ground floor would have a sunken living room. A formal dining room. A kitchen and an alcove for their regular meals. A powder room. A large fireplace. A deck overlooking the river. The basement would have a guest room. A library area with videos, books, and CDs. Joan insisted on a work out area and she confessed that she had always wanted a steam room. They decided on a Jacuzzi as well. Grace was so enthused that she began buying decorating books and watching This Old House on PBS as well as house buying programs on cable.

Joan arranged through Craig to have a roadway built to the property properly. The old logging road was just too rutted. Since the logging road went across state land it took some maneuvering for Craig to get this authorized. Joan had sketched out where she wanted their road leading up to and onto the property to go. She remembered things like certain trees she wanted cut down and wrote them down specifically. Heads would roll if extra was taken down.

They sent their plans to an architect who put them in proper order. He told Joan she should give up painting and become an architect. Laughing she thanked him for the compliment. Joan and Grace poured over the plans and Joan secretly arranged for the architect to build a model. It cost a lot for this doll house but seeing Graces delight she was happy to have done it. It was just fabulous. It showed everything they had discussed and more. Seeing it was better than the plans. Joan sent the plans to Craig and he arranged for her to meet with a builder about them.

Grace accepted the position in Wausau due to start in two months. She gave a months notice to LA Medical. They were surprised but accepted it. She was sorry to see it end but glad to get out while she could.

One weekend they flew back to Wausau so that they could meet with the builder. They borrowed Craig’s Cherokee again and drove it to the site. Craig had had the roadway improved and they were able to drive right up to the site. The builder was impressed with the spot and enthused over their blueprints. He told them in two years they would have it complete. Shaking her head Joan laughed at him and said no, she would like it in six months. He was astounded and explained that the wheels set in motion took a lot of time and permits. The materials, the workers, the permits and the headaches. It couldn’t possibly be done in six months. Joan told him not to worry, he’d be able to get it done. He looked at Grace like Joan was mad. She laughed silently to herself. He didn’t know Joan. He probably could get it stretched to a year maybe but maybe not.

By the time they left that weekend Joan and Grace had signed a contract with the builder. If he finished in six months he got a huge bonus. If he finished in a year a smaller bonus but anything after that he started to pay penalties. Surprised to work with these two woman he signed the agreement and got to work.

Meanwhile Joan and Grace began to pack up the loft in Malibu. The movies that Joan had had in Wisconsin had never been unpacked. Many of her books as well. The ones in the apartment took no time to pack at all. They left all the stereo equipment, the TV, the surround system alone. Joan arranged for someone from Best Buy to come and pack it up for them the day before the movers came. Boxes began to stack up in the garage. Joan packed up her studio.

The portrait of Grace, which they had never discussed was crated up to return to Wisconsin with them. Grace had never realized that it was of her that Joan had painted it. She had thought it was just the prototype of the one for the hospital. She was the only one who didn’t see it. Madge saw it, all their friends including Joanne saw it, Jack had even commented on it but it went over Graces head. She just didn’t SEE it. Joan thought Grace was just being quiet about it and as they had NEVER discussed it, just never brought it up.

They decided to take all the appliances, cookware, and dishes. The bed and dresser that had been there when Joan moved in would remain for the next tenant. The couch and recliners would go as well as the shelves.

Madge had already arranged for a tenant to move in the week after they left for an outrageous sum. This would be handled through the foundation.

The week before they moved they went out with their friends. One night they went out with everyone, including Simon, from Graces work. One night Jack threw them a going away party and everyone came to that as well. They would be missed. Madge would miss having Joan so close. She had been there two years and her work had never been better. Allan would miss trying to sell her on the idea of the world tour but he would continue handling her conventions, promotions, and catalogs.

The night before their move they spent it together in the apartment. A quiet evening in March. The ocean breeze was coming through the patio window, cold and refreshing. They made love in their bed despite the cold, warming each other’s bodies with their passion. Quietly they walked through the apartment talking about this and that, do you remember, what about this, what about that. It was kind of melancholy and bittersweet. Saying goodbye to one thing and starting a whole new chapter in their lives.

They sat out on the balcony for awhile in each others arms looking up at the stars that could be seen despite LA’s lights. Neither wore anything despite the cold but no one could see them because of the dark. Out of the blue Grace asked Joan if she would like to have another child.

Sitting up in surprise Joan looked at her to see that she was serious. “What made you think of that?”

“I was remembering you and Aaron together and was thinking how I would like a child of ours.” Grace looked at her intently.

Thinking she was kidding Joan asked why didn’t she have one. Grace looked down then and said “I can’t.”

Lifting her chin with her hand Joan tilted her head to try to see into Graces face. Between the dark of the night and the weird shadows of it she couldn’t see it well. Suddenly Grace shivered. Joan stood up and pulled Grace up with her. Closing the balcony door behind her she shut the other one across the room. They snuggled under the covers and resumed their conversation.

“Why can’t you?” Joan asked seriously. If Grace wanted a child this was the first she had heard of it since she had met her. In almost two years of knowing this woman they

“Well for one my age is against me.” At 47, almost 48 it would just be physically too much. Furthermore she had tried while in college and couldn’t get pregnant. She told Joan about the pain and humiliation she had endured with her boyfriend trying to get pregnant then. She asked if Joan had ever considered having another child.

“Yes, but I thought that was years behind me. My youngest just graduated from college for crying out loud. I’m a grandmother. I’m too old.” At 42 going on 43 she felt way too old to consider putting her body through it.

Grace was disappointed and it showed. Joan tried to comfort her but between the move and this news she stayed depressed for a long while.

They talked for a long time that night about the possibility but Joan wasn’t enthused and Grace very depressed. They talked about adoption but Joan didn’t want an infant and she was sure that most agencies would hold their sexual status against them as well as their ages. Finally Joan asked her if being a grandmother couldn’t be enough. Grace thought for a long quiet while and finally sighing she realized she was being self indulgent about this issue. Joan had had her children when she was young. She wasn’t particularly maternal. She’d done her duty as she saw it and raised three fine young men. It wouldn’t be fair to put her through it all again when she was obviously not enthused about it. Just because Grace was getting the pangs didn’t mean they were contagious. Joan confessed to her that she had thought once or twice about it over the years but thought she had been given what she could handle and that would have to be enough. She wanted Grace to be happy but in this instance she would have to settle for being a co-grandparent or whatever they wanted to label it. Finally talking it all out Grace settled it in her mind and let it go. It was a pipe dream. She was too old for that but she had this terrific lady in her life to share life with and that should be enough. She’d play Grace the grandma to Aaron and the new baby if they allowed her to and that should be enough.

It was late after they finished talking and they fell asleep. They almost overslept as the movers were coming bright and early in the morning. Taking showers they both dressed hurriedly and packed away the last of their things. The refrigerator would be left but they emptied out the last of the things in it into the cooler in the back of the Jaguar. Their bags were packed into the trunk. The Jaguar was parked on the street when the moving van pulled up. They parked Joan’s Mercedes inside it first and packed around it. All the stuff from the garage that they had boxed and put there including Graces bedroom set was packed into the van. Everything from upstairs that they were taking was moved in an amazingly short amount of time. By noon Joan and Grace were on the road and headed through the canyon. The van would meet them in Wisconsin in a weeks time.

Once through the canyon to the 101 freeway they headed south and went through LA to the 10 freeway. It took forever to get through the cities that comprise LA. Finally they headed out on the 15 freeway towards Las Vegas. They stopped in Baker at the world’s tallest thermometer to gas up and to eat.

They arrived in Las Vegas and stayed at the MGM Grand. That night they went to a show and took taxi’s to a couple of nightclubs. They danced half the night away and two men tried to pick them up but they politely declined. It was after 2 AM before they collapsed laughing into their hotel bedroom.

They got a late start the next morning but they didn’t mind. They were going to take this trip slowly and enjoy themselves. The depression that hit Grace their last night in Malibu seemed to totally be gone. She had even talked a little more about it with Joan, explaining her feelings, hashing it out completely, getting it settled.

The second night out they stayed in a small town in Colorado. Since they had gotten a late start the previous morning they drove long into the night hoping to make Denver but finally fatigue overtook them and they stopped for the night at a dingy little motel. The proprietor apologized but since they were on the truck route he only had one room left and that with only one bed. They pretended that this was an inconvenience they were grateful for. Joan laughed when they were in the room if the manger had only known! They walked across the street to a western bar and grill for a late dinner, starved from their driving.

The next morning they woke to the most glorious site. Since they drove through a lot of it in the dark they hadn’t realized how mountainous it was and the sights that greeted them were breathtaking. The freeway followed along a river and cut through beautiful rock and mountain formations with snow still on the peaks and mountain sides. It took them five hours to make it to Denver and they were both disappointed at the Mile High City. They expected it to be IN the mountains but instead it seemed to be on the high prairie below them. They continued their journey into Nebraska and got a room there.

Nebraska was interesting but dull compared to the previous states. The rest stops were the cleanest either of them had ever seen. They took turns driving for 3 hour stretches, stopping for gas, for a few road side sights. Nebraska is a long state and it took 2 and half days to get through it. Iowa was quick and surprisingly hilly. They entered Minnesota still on the prairie. It didn’t take as long as they thought before they were driving into Wisconsin. One more night in a hotel and they would be in Wausau. They stayed in La Crosse that last night. The Mississippi glimmered just for them as they crossed over the bridge into the state with the beautiful bluffs overlooking the river. Both were tired and seeing things when they finally stopped.

Their last day they took local highways across the state to the 51 freeway which split the state in two. Up 51 they drove to Wausau, arriving there after noon. They went directly to the hotel where they had arranged to stay for a couple of months while their house was still being built. When their boxes arrived from California they would go into storage until the house was ready. Joan would have her car back then as well.

Grace didn’t have to start work for at least three weeks. So they played the tourist and drove around Wausau. They shopped, picking up a few items for the house and storing them with their other items. This got old as they wanted to USE the things so they stopped buying for the time being.

They went out to the house site and saw where big trucks had been coming down the roadway onto the site and dug into the road that had been built. The basement had been dug, the forms for the 10’ walls formed and poured. The first floor was already in and framing for the walls and rooms going up. Busy little bees were working about the site. The foreman introduced himself and apologized that one of the trees they had wanted to keep must come down if they were going to put in the Jacuzzi where they wanted. Another one would have to come down for the carriage house that they were building for their cars. Looking over the plans and him showing them about they agree that the trees would have to come down but the wood from them would be stacked behind the carriage house with all the other trees that had been torn from the house site and roadway. A very large stack of logs stood there and would last their wood burning needs for years.

They visited with Craig and Jane who now treated Joan with the respect due her. Hashing everything out on their visit in January had at least cleared the air. She still didn’t approve of their lesbian relationship but she liked Grace and pretended that relationship did not exist. It was as though Grace were just an old friend of the family.

Visiting with Adam they found him nervous and agitated. He wanted to propose to Gwen his girlfriend in California but he wasn’t sure she wanted to move to Wisconsin. He didn’t want to raise a family out there. Joan chided him on not discussing it with the woman. She herself had finally met her after her last trip. She had arranged to have lunch with her and found her to be intelligent and charming. A good match for her second son if he’d get his act together and ask her. Joan went down and bought him a round trip ticket for Gwen to come out and visit in Wisconsin.

Bryan was on his tour so they didn’t see him for three months. By then Grace was working in her new job and loving it. Joan tried working part time in the gallery but got under Yoshi’s feet and on each other’s nerves. So that didn’t last. She tried renting another spot to paint but found that difficult as well. Nothing felt right. She took her sketch pads everywhere with her and her body of work increased. She had many many sketches that she could turn into paintings when she found the place and time. She became depressed at not being able to paint. She tried not to show it but Grace sensed she was bored. She went to the house site two or three times a week. She never interfered and she drew fantastic sketches but it still wasn’t enough. She need a diversion and it wasn’t forthcoming.

Bryan was due back when she got a call from Allan insisting that she meet him in Miami Beach for a show. Unenthused she went and the show went well but in her depression she didn’t see it that way. She felt it a great inconvenience. He wanted her to do another one in a month in New York and reluctantly she agreed.

Returning from the trip she at least was able to greet Bryan back. He had been thrilled with the trip. He had emailed frequently. Postcards were unending. A few arrived after his return. The service from Asia not as good as Europe. After Egypt and Turkey he had gone to India and seen the Taj Mahal. Then on into China. He saw the Great Wall and the cities, Bangkok and Hong Kong. Japan had been exciting and Tokyo overwhelming. The sites, the sounds, the tastes had all been thrilling and he was so excited. He even looked forward to going to work with Craig in the next month. He settled into Adams old townhome.

Grace was beside herself. They had been in Wausau for nearly five months and she couldn’t seem to combat Joans depression. She knew Joan needed to express herself through her paintings. Even going to the conventions depressed her since she had no new work to exhibit. Joan sank deeper every day. Then they got the news that the house wouldn’t be ready in the sixth month that they had hoped it would. Unavoidable delays in permits and product caused them to run into other problems. One permit would delay work on one part of the house only to cause trouble obtaining another permit in another part of the house. They were unable to obtain some of the fixtures or product they wanted for the house. Joan was frustrated. She got quieter as the days went by and turned into weeks. Grace would often come in and find her sitting in the hotel staring blankly at the TV. Never a big tv watcher this channel surfing numbed her mind. She didn’t even care for her new grandbaby. Jane had a baby girl that they named Jennifer. Never maternal for small babies she basically ignored her.

She was even unethused about Grace. Lovemaking became almost non existent. They would still kiss, cuddle, and caress but it led to no where. Grace became frustrated. They had always been in synch about that and now it was just fading away. Despite her experience as a doctor of psychology she couldn’t seem to shake Joan from her melancholy.

The boys tried to keep her in their lives. Inviting her to places and including her but she was definitely not the life of the party and she refused to go a lot of the time.

In September Grace heard about a national builders convention in Dallas. She bought four first class tickets to Dallas and they took their builder and his wife along to get into it. You had to be a certified builder to enter the building and he vouched for them saying they were his assistants. It amused Joan that he was calling them decorators when there was a stigma attached to most decorators as being gay. Grace got him a nice room two floors below them and she and Joan stayed in a suite. Downtown Dallas was beautiful and they enjoyed themselves. Eating out at fine restaurants their builder escorting them. Tom was a nice guy. He knew the score, that they were gay but they were so nice and fun, he had a blast being out with them. One night they even went to a gay bar and he found himself being hit on. His wife would laugh about this one for years to come. Grace and Joan rarely danced together but it was nice to finally be able to. Joan was an excellent dancer and after they agreed about neither of them really leading they had a wonderful time. Joan loosened up and for the first time in months was not depressed. She danced closely with Grace on slow dances. Murmuring in her ear, kissing her neck, kissing her in public, neither had a care in the world. They were just so happy to be together. Tom and his wife Ellen were just as lovey dovey. They never got away and as this was pretty much an all expense paid trip they were taking advantage of the time together for a second honeymoon of sorts.

That night Joan and Grace made love as they hadn’t in months. It relaxed both of them. They hadn’t realized the tension that was building over Joans continued depression had affected them both. Grace talked with Joan about it and going over the various things in her life with Grace, Joan agreed to try harder and perhaps even go into therapy.

The first day of the convention they all got there bright and early. Joan and Grace dressed in business suits. Tom was more relaxed in a polo short and khakis. His wife Ellen wore a flowing flowered dress. Each of them wore comfortable shoes. Going up one aisle and down another they enjoyed seeing all the different booths of household items and building things. Clever inventions, new ways to build things, faucets, showers, tile. Anything and everything to do with construction was at this show. Joan and Grace got more ideas for their house. A few things would have to be altered but they had Tom place orders by the end of the show for many things that they had delays on back in Wisconsin and for things they now wanted to see in their house. Tom felt the trip was worth it for all the new contacts he made. He found new distributors of product he wanted to offer his clients. He found new product he was amazed to find. Beautiful new items that took ones breath away. Grace and Joan were a headache sometimes but their taste was incredible and he could picture more and better things than what had originally been decided and he agreed to their demands. A couple of things were impractical for their house but he good naturedly talked them out of those. After three days of walking the floor, shaking hands, making deals, and ordering items Tom was sure he could get the house done in just over a month. If everyone delivered as agreed it would surely be a showpiece. He got Joan and Grace to agree to a picture spread of the house, inside and out as well as the grounds and the carriage house with it’s apartment above it. The professional photographer would be there once it was all done.

They all returned to Wisconsin in high spirits. Joan had shrug off her depression with the trip and the enthusiasm of the things they had seen for their new home. She and Grace were working out the financial arrangements so that they both owned it. Since Grace had turned her savings over to Craig they worked it so that ‘mortgage’ payments would come out of the profits until the entire balance was equal.

The landscapers did what they could late as it was in the season. The photographer took tons of pictures. Joan and Grace ended up with a large book of the copies. The builder and the architect received copies.

~ CHAPTER 21 ~

They moved in November. It hadn’t snowed yet but it was getting colder. The movers put the boxes where Joan and Grace directed them. Upstairs, downstairs, on ground level. There was a ton of things to put away. They realized they didn’t have enough furniture. It was fun to shop together again. They put in beautiful oak shelves in the basement for the books, CDs, tapes, and other entertainment items. The wide screen TV went down there as well. In the guest bedroom they put Graces old bedroom set and bought themselves a beautiful new one for the master bedroom. They bought a dining room set with matching display cabinets with leaded glass in them showing off their crystal and other trinkets.

Joan could finally set up her studio. It was the roomiest she had ever had. The skylights lighted it from morning until dusk. It was airy and she was looking forward to creating beautiful works of art within it. Her paints and pencils were all laid out, she had to buy more of everything. She unpacked it all. Her easels, her canvasses, her unfinished pieces, her sketchbooks. Her credenza, her desk, everything was put in this room and still it was wide open and had room to spare. She felt like she could breathe again when she finally finished unpacking it all.

It took weeks to get all the furniture they wanted and things put away. Grace took off an occasional day of work to meet with delivery men so it didn’t all fall on Joan’s shoulders. They hung the painting Grace and the other one called Clouds and Cream. Joan was still amazed that Grace had never asked about the painting GRACE. She never SAW that it was of her like other’s who saw it immediately did. She never asked though and Joan never volunteered. As it was assumed by the family that Grace already knew it was of her no one brought it up.

In the basement they had put in a sauna next to the Jacuzzi and they used it constantly those first few weeks to relax. Joan realized a fantasy of being made love to in the steamy sauna by Grace. They purchased some exercise equipment for them both to work out on and Joan bought a punching bag and a few pads to use as well. The entire eastern wall of the basement was windows and patio doors leading out onto a patio with steps leading off to the gazebo. More steps meandered down the hill to a dock that had been built for them on the river. On the patio a state of the art barbecue was set up and tables and chairs could eventually set out there. Back in the basement in the corner facing the patio they put the widescreen tv in the corner. A half circular couch they placed surrounding it. It had two pull out beds for extra guests. Behind the couch were the oak shelves for their books, tapes, and things. An entire entertainment arena. Across from this on the north and west wall was the spare bedroom.

In their bedroom they could look west out through the windows on either side of their bed over the gazebo where they had another Jacuzzi. The gazebo was small and it’s lattice work beautiful. On the east side of their bedroom was their large open bathroom with it’s two person bathtub that allowed you to sink to below your shoulders. Next to the bathtub was a glass enclosed shower that if you closed the top slat of the shower it became a steam room. The shower heads could blast you away with their massage. Joan had insisted on a huge water heater and plenty of water pressure for these very purposes. A second heater had been installed for the rest of the household needs. Next to the bathroom was a huge walk in closet. Grace had insisted on California shelving and the clothes rods, baskets, and shelves were wonderful for storing all their clothes and shoes. On the north wall were windows that overlooked the front lawn with it’s circular driveway to the carriage house. Joan had placed her jewelry cabinet between the windows. In the corner between the walk in closet and the front windows was a stand for the TV and DVD/VCR combo. In the opposite corner nearer to their bed stood an electric fireplace. In front of the windows sat two chairs.

The skylights strategically placed about the roof brought light into the house at all times in the studio and bedroom. In between the skylights were solar panels on the southern exposure of the house. These panels heated not only their water but the whole house. Joan had insisted on an enviro-friendly house if possible. A headache for Tom but one for which he had been amply compensated. Across the hallway from their bedroom was a set of closets that contained their stackable washer and drier. Joan had seen this once in a house and as most of their clothes would be upstairs anyway it made sense to have that convenience.

On the main floor as you entered the house was a slate entranceway. Beautiful gray stone graced the floor on the outside and into the house. Two oaken doors opened into the porchway of the house. Colored glass within them and on both sides of the doorway. If you turned right you went into the kitchen past the stairwell to upstairs. Another right would put you into the powder room. To the left of the powder room was a little alcove that looked out on the front yard and contained their everyday table. Across from the alcove was the kitchen it’s gleaming pots and pans. Grace had insisted on these hanging from the ceiling and a chopping island in the middle for fixings. Beyond the kitchen was an arched doorway to the dining room.

If you went left from the front doors you went down steps from the slate into the living room which was spread out and large. The couch circled around the fireplace in the north wall. Steps up led to an area that they put rocking chairs in, those cool gliding ones. Joan put her plants here in a charming disarray. To the right of this area was the dining room with it’s new table and display cabinets. Lining the entire length of the east wall were French doors leading out onto their deck. Stairways from each end of the deck let you depart for the gazebo on one end and the garage on the other.

The garage was a departure from their chalet look. They chose as close a mix to a chalet as they could for the carriage house so it wouldn’t look odd and would somewhat match. A three room apartment was up stairs similar to the one in Malibu in it’s design. The carriage house was large enough for three cars and deep enough to accommodate the new longer vehicles. In back of the carriage house was two roll up doors at each end. A boat or a lawn mower could be put in either side. Over this building was a balcony for the carriage apartment. Behind this building was the log pile. Most of the wood just sat there and they would have to make arrangements for someone to cut it up into cords of wood.

It took months to settle in. It was the following February before they felt that enough was enough and threw a large party. They invited everyone they knew and their kids. They hired caterers to handle the food and the clean up. Grace introduced Joan to people from work. They had heard about her from Grace but few had actually met her. Many were left very impressed with the artist. Joan invited her boys and their families. Adam was able to get Gwen to come. Bryan brought a date but no one he was serious about. As a surprise to Grace, Joan arranged for Joanne, Tracey, and Addie to come. She had invited Ken and Tina as well but both had refused. She sent a ticket to Madge and her assistant Amy. She invited Jack but he declined. Allan and Yoshi came.

The party was a huge success. Everyone had a lovely time. Kids were thrilled at the entertainment center downstairs. Men flocked to see it. Their wives weren’t as enthused about it. A lot of people enjoyed using the jacuzzi and steam room. Several even tramped out through the snow to the gazebo to brave that jacuzzi. Refreshing was the word.

Joan unveiled three new pieces which thrilled Allan, Yoshi, and Madge. More work for all of them and it was beautiful. Inspired by their lovely new house Joan was painting frantically when she could. All that bottled up from last year when she could not.

The surprise for Grace was absolute. Seeing Joanne, Tracey, and Addie was wonderful. They even were able to stay the weekend with them. Their respective spouses weren’t able to come but it was fun for the friends. No one felt awkward at the party. No whispers about lesbians or gays. It was a bunch of people just having a great ole time. The house was beautiful and shone at it’s best.

Tom had received a lot of business because of it. He couldn’t claim the design but the book Joan had given him of pictures made a great impression on people. A few from the party that lived locally talked with him about creating their own places. Business was good for him these days.

The party started on a Friday night and some people didn’t leave until Saturday night. Locals and Craig and Jane left and came back, Adam and Gwen stayed over, Bryan would have stayed but for his date.

~ CHAPTER 22 ~

At the end of February they decided to get a part time housekeeper. After several rotten interviews Joan threw her hands up in disgust and let Grace handle it. Grace took off a day from work and scheduled several. The third one was an older woman, a Mrs. Richardson that she immediately liked. After finishing interviews that day she called and hired her.

Her duties weren’t too strenuous. Neither Joan nor Grace had time to clean house so she did that. She’d get there in the morning as Grace would be leaving. She’d wash Graces breakfast dishes and prepare breakfast for Joan. Grace was adamant about Joan eating breakfast. She’d lightly clean and putter around the house until lunchtime. Somedays Joan would eat lunch but most days she forgot about it while she worked. She would do their laundry or shopping in the afternoon. Late in the afternoon she would start supper to be sure it was done for when Dr. Monroe came home. Very often Grace would walk in and sit down just as it was finished. It was uncanny how punctual it all was. Then Mrs. Richardson would leave for the day. Joan and Grace could manage to put their supper dishes in the dishwasher and put the leftovers in their refrigerator.

Every Friday Mrs. Richardson vacuumed. Their hardwood floors were fairly easy to keep clean and with their central vac unit they kept things fairly neat. Upstairs they had wall to wall carpeting. She even took over watering Joan’s plants as well as making sure the water remained pure in the Jacuzzi’s. She’d take their cars in and sit while they were tuned up. A very efficient woman, very capable. They were all pleased with their arrangement.

~ CHAPTER 23 ~

In March Joan and Grace went to Milwaukee to the boat and sports show. They took Aaron with them to give Jane a break and to give Craig time with his wife.

Aaron was about to turn four and he was so excited about the trip. They took the Mercedes. Neither car was good in the snow but the roads were fairly clear if it didn’t snow again. They stayed at nice hotel near the sports arena where the show was to be. Aaron was thrilled to have a couch of his own to sleep on in the suite! Joan and Grace indulged him as Grandma’s should. Grace no longer felt the pang of not having one of her own. Aaron’s absolute acceptance of her cured her of that. She was co-grandma and he adored her as much as his real Grandma Joan. She could live with that happily for she adored him too.

They looked for hours at different boats and different vacation packages. Before they realized it they had been there for hours. They sat down to lunch and to discuss what they had seen thus far. There was even a trout pond at the show with running water. What would they think of next? Discussing the possibility of buying a boat Joan teased Grace about the docks she had outside her apartments but without a boat to put there. In turn Grace said she’d show Joan and buy one today. She was true to her word. Not only did she buy a 15’ boat she bought two wave runner’s and the trailer to haul them with. She made arrangements for the accessories and the boats to be delivered at the end of May. Joan was astonished and argued with her about paying for it. Grace was grateful for everything Joan brought into her life but stubbornly refused to let her pay for everything. In this case she wouldn’t accept a dime. It became a bone of contention between them but Joan tried, truly tried to understand it.

Driving home late that night they tried to hash it out but Grace was stubborn about it and Joan was non chalant about the money which bothered Grace and made her more stubborn. She felt she should contribute financially as much as Joan did. Joan argued that the house was 50/50 why shouldn’t the boats be. Grace argued that Joan owned the land the house was on, the land surrounding it, and when they had purchased the furniture hadn’t thought twice about hauling out her credit card to pay for things. It wasn’t equal but then no relationship is always equal. They both realized they were being foolish and let the issue go. They had worried little Aaron a bit but they had for the most part been able to talk over his head and he didn’t have a clue. Driving back he was soon asleep anyway. They kept him at the chalet until Sunday afternoon.

His first words when he entered his house to see his parents were “Grace bought a boat, Grace bought a boat” he sing-songed. Craig looked up startled and started to laugh. Jane looked up from where she was trying to nurse the baby and laughed. Her hormones were still jumbled but she had calmed down considerably with this baby. She talked enthusiastically about having another one next year. Craig didn’t mind as he wanted a large family. They could certainly afford it.

Joan and Grace filled them in on the show and told them about their new acquisitions showing them the brochures. Grace grandly told them they were welcome to use them anytime much to Joans secret delight.

~ CHAPTER 24 ~

That summer was fantastic for everyone. Long rides out on the river with the boat. Playing with the wave runner’s. Joan found a blow up one for Aaron to use near shore. Grace found a trampoline that they anchored near the dock for everyone to bounce on and jump into the river off of. Barbecues on the patio.

Joan contracted with a guy to bring a load of sand to the rivers edge. She got in trouble with the DNR for altering something or another. She had to pay a large penalty but at least they had a sandy beach near the dock. It was all so ridiculous. The sand did no harm but supposedly she should have checked first, got a permit, and then let DNR supervise or some such. She didn’t bother to tell them about having the weeds removed from the river around their dock and swim area.

Joan was cranking out some beautiful art work. She couldn’t seem to work hard enough or fast enough to take her sketches from the previous year and make them into works of art. The time consumed in digitizing and making prints she now resented and had Yoshi handling all of it. She gave her a big increase in pay and they arranged for an assistant for all the additional work in filling print orders. A museum contracted with them to sell certain prints out of their gift shop. It was an exciting time for them. Allan was pressuring Joan to take the world tour. She just couldn’t see where or when she could fit in it. It was a major commitment. With all her new works and the many more she wished to create she just kept refusing. Instead she worked with Allan to open a third gallery in Miami. They found a wonderful site in an artistic community where a lot of tourists flocked. It was a run down building that Joan purchased outright. She had Craig handle the details but she herself flew down to hire the architect and eventually a competent manager named Richard. It was so very different from her other two galleries. She liked that it had it’s own unique flavor. It inspired her to create different art work that she felt would sell better in that market. Within six months it was declared a success and she was thrilled with the response not only in Miami but in Malibu and through the website of the new designs. She was at the top of her game, it couldn’t get better she thought. It showed not only in her work but in her life.

Grace was loving her job. It had been an excellent change from LA for her. A small town with people who appreciated her and her work. She received compliments on her professionality and compassion. Things had never been going better. Most days she would leave work at 5 and be home by 5:30. Joan may or may not be still working but it was so nice to go up to the studio and find her absentminded, absorbed in her art. Grace was relieved that Joan was enthused by it again. Sometimes she would find Joan at the easel at three in the morning, finishing a detail that had awoken her. There was no sign of the depression of the previous year.

Joan was so happy that she showered it over her family. Her lapses into frazzled artistic absentmindedness were rarer these days as she was focused. She took the time to spend with each individual as they came into contact with her. Even Jennifer would giggle upon seeing her Grandma. At one she was so fun to play with. Aaron loved spending time with his Grandma and Grace. He wanted to spend every hour of every waking day there and Jane finally had to tell him no, feeling that they were imposing. Grace and Joan welcomed them though. Craig, Adam, and Bryan brought friends. It was an easy and fun time.

It began to slow in September. Aaron started kindergarten. Everyone buckled down to work and the parties were rarer. The wave runner’s and the boat were winterized and put into storage. Grace found with the slow down in summer activities that work picked up at the hospital. People didn’t have as much to amuse them and had already started worrying about the holidays.

Joan finally felt she was catching up on her sketches and the work generated from Miami. She did a few different pieces from her norm and much to her amazement one caught her attention from all the others. It was an abstract that she normally wouldn’t have considered but it consumed her time day and night for a month. When she felt she was done she didn’t know why it had consumed her but something had compelled her to create it. It was attractive but she didn’t know why the obsession. Grace was there for it’s unveiling and her reaction was somewhat unexpected. It sent her into a high state of excitement. She and Joan ended up making wild and passionate love right there on the floor of the studio. Joan felt almost as though she had been attacked. Not knowing that the picture had caused Graces state, she assumed it was something from work and doubts made her worry that Grace perhaps had met someone. Grace didn’t know why the picture had affected her so but several times they found that it did indeed affect her that way. Joan finally removed it to have it digitized at the gallery. Yoshi complained that it too affected her but she wouldn’t say how or why. Joan was at first amused about this result but then alarmed. What if by some weird chance of fate she had painted some sort of aphrodisiac. Was that possible? No. Something though stimulated the people who were coming in contact with it. She sent a digitized photo to Allan, Madge, and Richard for their evaluation. All Allan would say was that it was fantastic. Madge complained that it gave her a headache. Richard giggled every time she brought it up. She wasn’t sure what she should do about it.

She discussed it with Grace and they both shrugged it off to other influences, but one night they went out to dinner and Joan needed to stop by the gallery for some signatures. Unlocking the door they went inside, locking it behind them. Joan went to the office where Yoshi had left the prints to be signed. As she signed the prints Grace wandered around the gallery. They were considering expanding it as they took on more artists. Joan’s work was of course displayed prominently but she wasn’t an egomaniac about it. Grace went into the digitizing room and saw the abstract original sitting on an easel there. Looking at it intently as it sort of drew you in to do so she could actually feel herself getting aroused. Her nipples hardened and after awhile she could feel a definite tingling between her legs. Desire ripped through her lower abdomen. Her breathing became altered. Just then Joan came around the corner to ask if she was ready to go. Seeing Graces flushed face she asked her alarmed if she was okay. Grace grabbed her and kissed her passionately shoving her against the wall, hard. She began to fervently caress Joan’s body. Seeing the abstract on the easel behind Grace, Joan pulled her out of the room, turned off the light, and shut the door. Grace again tried to kiss her and fondle her. Joan backed away alarmed. Grace was usually more subtle than this. The abstract didn’t seem to affect Joan the same way as everyone else. Finally Grace seemed to get a hold of herself. Ashamed she held herself and leaned against a wall, moaning. Joan allowed herself to take Grace in her arms and calm her. When normal breathing and sanity had returned Grace asked her to take her home, please. It was quiet in the car as Joan drove. When they got home Grace hopped out of the Mercedes and went into the house, saying nothing. Joan left the car parked in front of the house and followed, worried. She found Grace upstairs in their bedroom sitting on the edge of bed. She was so embarrassed at her behavior.

They discussed it after awhile but could find no reason why that picture should affect Grace so. It wasn’t just Grace though that it affected. Yoshi had confided that she and her husband had never had such an active time in their life after it had been put into the gallery. Joan thought about destroying the abstract. Grace talked her out of it. She said Joan’s work was too important to nonchalantly destroy it. Maybe some of the early stuff but not this one. They laughed. Joan hadn’t thought of a name yet for the work but after careful consideration decided to call it Aphrodisiac and to keep it away from Grace. They made love that night and it wasn’t as intense as the last time the abstract had affected Grace but it was good, very good. Joan teased that perhaps they should keep the painting for their own private collection but Grace shuddered at the thought. She didn’t like losing control of her body or emotions. The picture caused her to do both but way beyond just losing control. She worried, what if Joan hadn’t been there, would she have strayed because of the effect of a painting? These doubts were not good but she was pretty certain that Joan was all she wanted and needed.

Not completely decided on what to do about the abstract Joan had it crated and stored at the gallery. The digitized photos she refused to put on the website for the time being.

She discussed another catalog with Allan. All the work she had been doing this last year needed to be shown. It was so diverse. The catalog needed updating. Allan told her she really needed exposure. He again pressed her for the tour. She discussed it with Grace, explaining that she would be away for months on end, not just weekends here and there. She wanted Grace to go with her but Grace felt that she couldn’t leave her work. An extended leave of absence of that duration wouldn’t be a good idea. She felt though, after four years of putting Allan off, that Joan could no longer do so. It would harm her career. She should go for it. So Joan capitulated to Allan and they agreed to release a new catalog in February and she would start her world tour in Chicago. Two weeks there, then on to Miami. From there they would go to New York, then London, Paris, Belgium, the Netherlands, Germany, Austria, Switzerland. In Italy they would go both to Venice and Rome. He might even be able to work out something in South Africa, in Egypt perhaps Cairo. Definitely Moscow. Perhaps something in Turkey. Then there was Asia to consider. Bangkok and Hong Kong. Tokyo, Japan. Sydney, Australia. He mustn’t forget his hometown of Los Angeles and there was San Francisco to consider as well.

He’d thought about this for four frustrating years and he was determined to do the best job he could for Joan. All his other clients he reassigned to others in the agency and he concentrated full time on all the arrangements for Joan’s world tour and catalog release. He insisted that they include Aphrodisiac. It would be one of the few originals that they would take to the exhibits. He figured two weeks in each city, a few would only take a week. Some might even be more. He assigned a team of assistants to work out the details, find the exhibit spaces, make hotel arrangements. Joan insisted on first class and this helped with her image that he wanted to create. He even subtly worked into her PR about the stalker but claimed no knowledge of how that occurred when Joan cornered him on it. She didn’t want to think about that ever again.

The new printers they used for the release of the catalog and the layout designers they used were fabulous. This would be the best catalog she had ever produced. They worked frantically to have it released by February. Joan received the first couple copies to give to family and friends. The night before she left they all went to dinner to toast her new catalog and the beginning of the tour. She wasn’t certain how long she would be gone, she left the details to Allan. The PR bandwagon was churning out work at levels she wasn’t used to. Already details of the tour were on the website and would be released with the catalog. Her copies had come a week before anyone else’s and the next few days would be busy ones for the galleries as they hit their mailing lists.

That night before she left, she and Grace were sitting in front of the fireplace enjoying their last evening together for awhile. Grace still refused to travel with her but Joan understood how important Graces work was to her. Grace did agree to fly to Chicago, Miami, and New York for a couple of weekends at least so the separation wouldn’t be as intense. Joan did get her to lightly commit to meeting her in Venice for a week at least. It would require a lot of travel for only a week but according to the schedule that would be four months or so down the line. Joan felt terrible about the enforced separation and told Grace her feelings. Grace reminded her how important her work was to both of them. How this inconvenience was only temporary. That Grace loved her deeply and this wouldn’t harm their relationship. Joan loved her too. They sat looking into the flames discussing all the places that she would be seeing. As a going away present Grace had given her a new laptop to keep in contact with. She’d given it to her a week ago so she could work out any bugs before she left. Her old laptop was positively ancient and Joan was grateful at Graces thoughtfulness. It wouldn’t always be convenient to phone with the time changes. An email could be sent anytime from almost anywhere.

Grace reluctantly drove Joan to the airport. Even though the first leg of the trip was in Chicago she felt a great sense of loss. A premonition of disaster as it were. She almost said something to Joan but then thought it would be selfish to put her own problems on Joan’s shoulders. She waved to her cheerfully as Joan went through the security checkpoint. She didn’t let on how lonely she would be or how much she would miss her. In a week she would meet her for a weekend. She convinced herself that it would be good for their relationship which had nothing wrong with it in the first place.

Those first six weeks were hard for everyone. With repetition though the entire crew worked out some of the wrinkles. They smoothly set up each exhibit. The advance work paid off in the amount of people who came to meet Joan and admire her work. Sales were incredible. Joan found her evenings filled with smoozing with people from all walks of life. Mayor’s, congressmen, art collectors, art dealers, the list was never ending. Allan handled all her social engagements. He resented any time that Grace came in the picture because that meant one or two nights where he didn’t have Joan on display. She went to more parties than she had in her life. Her luggage went from 2 bags to 4 and then even more. Eventually it became part of the equipment they shipped to each exhibit. She needed to dress for the various occasions. When Grace saw her in New York they took time to go to a beauty spa together to get a treatment and both came out looking fantastic. Joan’s braids were styled differently. They weren’t in corn rows any longer on her scalp but hung in layers over her head. It required a bit more work to do but Allan had hired an assistant by the name of Kara to help Joan with things like that. To fetch water when she needed it, to make sure she ate.

London was foggy but Joan loved the mystery of it. She met an English lord who had admired her work for some time and was thrilled to finally meet the artist. He took her to the opera, the ballet, and to a play. She made it clear to him that she was committed to a partner but he persisted anyway. He was totally fascinated by this American artist. Her views, her art, her way of life, even her politics absolutely enthralled him. He followed them to Paris, to Belgium, to the Netherlands where she finally politely shook him off. He had just kept appearing. Escorting her whether she wanted to or not. Allan had played up the PR on that and her picture appeared in several London papers as well as Paris. All clippings were added to the website for added prestige.

Joan was exhausted by the time they finished Munich, Berlin, and Vienna. The thought of going to Switzerland didn’t thrill her but after Zurich would be Venice and she had Graces promise to be there for a week. THAT she was looking forward to. She felt she could keep going just for that ‘prize’ at the end.

Grace admitted she was looking forward to Venice as well. She had never dreamed of traveling as much as she seemed to do with Joan. Fiji had been their last vacation together and her passport was in order. Allan handled the travel arrangements for her. The weekends in Chicago, Miami, and New York hadn’t been enough. She truly missed Joan. The emails didn’t tell enough. As time was going on they weren’t as chatty. She could tell Joan was tired. She was homesick. She didn’t really enjoy all the parties, the other social events that were part of this tour. Even signing her work wasn’t fun anymore. She was feeling as though she were a pawn. The PR and everything with the Lord had made her very well known. Europe thrived on gossip such as that. One publication even insinuated that they were having a steamy love affair. Joan emailed Grace frantically about that one, insisting is was all part of the game being played but that it was untrue. Grace didn’t doubt Joan at all. She knew it was all a game that they were playing to promote the work. Joan deserved all the recognition she was getting but she didn’t deserve the crap that went along with it. Hiding her own insecurities Grace kept up to all appearances a strong unfailing loyalty to Joan. But when she was alone some nights she missed holding Joan so badly that it physically hurt. Her doubts would surface and she would worry that Joan would meet someone. Joan had been totally open about the English Lord and how angry she felt about it, Grace knew she didn’t have to worry about THAT one.

She hated being alone in their house anymore. The nights were the worst. She didn’t have anyone to look forward to. She worked longer hours at the hospital to compensate, as a result she missed more than a few of Joan’s calls. They were both so lonely for the other. Each tried not to worry the other with their doubts, their fears, their worries, or their anxieties. They tried to keep a positive note when they did actually speak. It was a balm to actually hear the other’s voice on the end of the line but it was too little, they both needed so much more.

Grace confided some of her doubts to save her sanity with her colleague and friend Jason. He and his wife Linda had been part of the crowd last summer playing on the river. Their daughter Lydia adored Grace and wanted to be a psychiatrist just like her, not like her old man. Jason knew both Joan and Grace very well and could reassure Grace that things were okay, that she wasn’t insane. She began to go out more with friends from the hospital. She met a few new ones as well. One nurse named Beth she had lunch with periodically. They had a lot in common both of them working in the medical field and they could commiserate about patients. Sometimes doctors didn’t associate with nurses but Grace had no qualms about it. It was just nice to have a couple of sounding boards while Joan was gone. She saw Craig, Jane and their family regularly, Aaron insisted. Since Joan had come into Grace’s life, she had FAMILY and she hadn’t realized before that it had been missing, now she wouldn’t give it up for the world. Adam had proposed to Gwen and been accepted. They made plans to marry in September. Grace was thrilled for them and excited as though it were her own son getting married, in a way it had become so. Joan would fly in from Moscow for that weekend and both of them were thrilled at the prospect.

~ CHAPTER 25 ~

Joan spent the day at the exhibit meeting and smoozing. Signing autographs and prints. It had been a long day when Kara arranged for her to go back to the hotel. She was anxious to do so as she knew Grace was coming in today. Kara had arranged for her to be picked up at the airport outside of Venice.

Joan walked into the hotel flanked by Allan and Kara. Her own personal watchdogs she always felt. She was stopped by a fan for an autograph and Allan beamed. Looking around the lobby of the hotel as she signed she spotted a welcome sight. Sitting there watching her was Grace. She quickly finished the autograph, chatting with the woman briefly, she thanked the woman and abruptly left heading for Grace.

Grace saw her as soon as she had come in the lobby. She looked so sophisticated in her French clothes. They made her look taller than her 5’7” frame. With her braids hanging about she looked exotic, important, and very artsy. A woman stopped her. Grace saw the fixed smile that Joan had coined as her ‘fan’ smile. Courteous but not condescending. Pleased but not inviting. Joan looked up and saw her.

They met halfway in a bear hug. Not wanting to kiss her in front of an audience, Grace instead whispered in her ear. “God your a sight for sore eyes.” Joan’s eyes teared up she was so happy to see Grace. Allan and Kara came over to say hello and ask about her trip. Thanking them for making all the arrangements they left the two of them alone. Joan began leading Grace to the bank of elevators. Grace pulled back to gather her luggage.

“Why didn’t have them put that in the suite? You could have waited there for me as well, you have to be tired from traveling.”

“They wouldn’t let me into the suite.” Grace told her.

“What do you mean they wouldn’t let you in the suite. I told them you were coming and to prepare the room for you.” Stopping dead Joan was frowning at her.

“When I arrived in the limo they welcomed me but told me that they had a room available for a Dr. Grant Monroe, not Grace.”

Shaking her head at the stupidity of it Joan asked “They couldn’t see that there had been a mistake made?”

“I was told or they implied they thought I was a groupie or something and that they couldn’t possibly allow me into Madam’s suite.” She smiled and gave a chuckle at the thought.

“How long have you been waiting down here in the lobby?”

“About an hour or so.”

With that Joan strode up to the desk. Grace tried to grab her arm to hold her back. Angrily she banged on the bell. A clerk immediately answered the summons.

“Ah Madam Woods, how may I help you?” He smiled charmingly at her. She was a very important person to the hotel. Very famous. He himself had seen the papers with her in them.

“You can get me the manager, immediately” her tone brooked no conversation or argument.

“Yes, of course Madam, I’ll get him immediately.” The clerk bowed slightly and rushed off. If someone of Madam Woods stature requested anything you obeyed instantly. They catered to the rich and famous here.

“Joan, this isn’t necessary.” Grace pleaded with her.

Looking over at Grace, Joan was again thrilled to see her here. The elegance of the hotel lobby around them, the room had to be over a hundred years old, and with Grace here it added to it’s charm. Joan was struck dumb for a minute realizing that finally Grace was HERE was with her. She could hold her, could touch her. Shaking it off though Joan replied “Yes it is” she raised an eyebrow at Grace and the manager came running up to the desk.

“Madam Woods, I am Leonardo Mancini, the manager here” his arm encompassed the entire lobby as it waved about “how might I be of service to you?” Joan wasn’t sure but she thought his heels clicked together.

“Monsieur Mancini” she began not sure if it was the correct form of address but not really caring at the moment “when I checked in to my suite last week I mentioned that my partner would be joining me in a week.” At this he nodded smilingly, acknowledging the conversation. “I called down a few days ago to confirm that” he again nodded. “My assistant Kara arranged for a car to pick my partner up from the airport with you I believe?” He smiled pleasantly and nodded confirming everything she had said. “When Dr. Monroe, my partner, arrived here though, she was denied the comfort of my suite. It was implied that she wasn’t who she said she was. She has sat here in your lobby for over an hour waiting for me.” He looked alarmed. His eyes flicked to Grace and back to Joan. “Now I ask you Monsieur, is that anyway to treat a guest, much less a guest of MINE?” Joan hadn’t let her voice raise in anger. She had calmly state the facts. She could see the expressions clearly on the managers face and he was sweating.

“Madame Woods I must beg your most humble apologies.” His thick Italian accent was coming through. He sounded so European to her. Turning to Grace he said “Dr. Monroe, I too must apologize for my staff. In their ignorance they have gravely insulted you. I will investigate this incident immediately and I assure both of you” his glance incorporated both of them “that they will be dealt with.”

Joan and Grace both thanked him politely and turned to go.

“Ladies, if I may” his voice stopped them. “I would like to give you dinner this evening” he searched for an expression for a moment and triumphant continued “on the house.”

Joan thanked him and he passed her an extra pass key that his clerk surreptitiously handed him. She and Grace headed with the luggage for the elevator. They were met by a running bellboy who insisted on carrying the luggage for them.

They went up to the fifth floor where Joan’s suite was located, no one said a word. The bellboy refused any tip and left the luggage neatly inside the door. They were alone. Grace looked about at the luxurious suite. She hadn’t ever seen anything like this. Europe was an old country and many things that American’s expected or had at their hotels would never be considered at a European one. The furnishings alone were incredible and must date back hundreds of years. The antiques were incredible. After looking about the suite she turned to Joan and said “Not bad, not bad at all.”

Joan had watched the play of emotions on Graces face. The room was fantastic. It’s old world charm and sophisticated taste was hard to get used to at first. After staying in so many hotels though Joan had become used to certain types of accommodations.

Grace came to stand in front of Joan looking her over from head to toe. It had been many weeks, many months since they had SEEN each other. Grace followed along on her website, seeing pictures of the places the tour had gone, the people Joan met, the newspaper and magazine clippings about her. Kara was sure to post any pictures she could about the trip. Joan had fans everywhere now. It wasn’t the same though as being right here in front of the woman she loved. Reaching out she pulled Joan to her, burying her face in her neck. Breathing in her unique perfume.

Joan hadn’t been sure that Grace would ever hold her. She looked so long at her she wondered at what she was thinking. She knew she had been about to melt. Holding this woman who haunted her dreams, who made her so homesick was so nice, so very nice. Joan kissed her with all the pent up longing and passion she could. Any doubts that either had entertained dispelled immediately. It rapidly escalated as they pulled at each other. Joan maneuvered Grace into her bedroom, another incredible room. Hours later they lay content in each others arms, naked but sated for now. They talked quietly catching up on each other’s lives. The things that didn’t make it into the emails or even the phone calls. Joan considered ordering room service but knew she couldn’t with the manager so eager to make amends.

In Europe you dressed for dinner and Joan and Grace did so after unpacking for Grace. Thank goodness for wrinkle free materials Grace thought. Her luggage had been pretty banged up in transit. Joan was dressed in a gown of black with little drops of colors at the bottom of the dress. It came to her calf in various lengths accenting her legs. A matching shawl accompanied it. She slipped on heels to match her ensemble. Grace dressed in an off white dress that came below her knees. It had pearl beads around the edges and looked wonderful on her tall frame. Her matching shoes and purse made the outfit complete.

Stepping off the elevator Joan was stopped by yet another fan who recognized her from the papers. Signing another autograph gave time to the manager of the hotel to notice them. He signaled to someone who stepped up to Joan and Grace.

“Madam Wooods? Doctoor Monroe?” said the heavy accent.

They looked up at a very tall Italian man with rich dark hair and very Roman features standing before them who immediately bowed with their notice.

“I am Markus, your maitre’d. If you will allow me ladies to escort you to your table.” With that he gathered their arms in his and walked them across the lobby to the dining room. Many a head turned at the beautiful women on his arms. He escorted them to the best table. It was situated so they could look at everyone who entered and be admired by them. Joan asked him for a discrete out of the way booth instead. Charmingly he did so. He handed them menus and left them quietly.

Grace smiled at how easily Joan handled people. She fit in here so well. Grace felt like a duck out of water she was so overwhelmed with the sophistication of the place. She couldn’t read the menu, it was in Italian. Leaning over she saw Joan studying the menu intently. She looked up with her eyes twinkling “lasagna and spaghetti I think are on here somewhere.” She laughed and Grace joined in.

The maitre’d returned with another man. He introduced their waiter for the evening, Gerhard. He looked frightened. Joan was sure the story of her displeasure had gotten around the staff and they were all walking on eggshells to please her and her guest. Grace watched as Joan talked first in English with him, tried a few words in Italian and then laughed with him. His accented English was terrible and as Joan only knew a few words in Italian that wouldn’t help. Listening to his accent though Joan had an idea “Sind sie von Deutschland?” she asked in German. It turned out he was a German student working while studying in Venice. Relieved he answered in German, rapidly. “Nicht so schnell, nicht so schnell” not so fast Joan told him. As he calmed down she slowly told him that they couldn’t read the Italian menu and what would he recommend for two hungry American woman? He looked sorry and told her they didn’t have french fries and hamburgers on the menu. The twinkle in his eye told Joan he was teasing her. The words “french fries and hamburgers” he said in English. Laughing at him she told him to please give them a fine traditional Italian meal but something light. Smiling, he gratefully took that order.

Grace shook her head in amazement. She knew that Joan had studied German way back in high school but it was amazing to hear her speak it so fluently. Joan had just come from Germany, Austria, and Switzerland. Her rusty German had been well exercised.

They chatted awhile discussing what they might do the next few days when the maitre’d hurried up with a bottle and two wine glasses. He explained that he had this extraordinary vintage and would like their opinion on it. Pouring the open bottle into the wine glasses he handed first one and then the other to them. Joan smelled an excellent bouquet before drinking the best wine she had ever tasted in her life. Some wines have a tendency to cling to your taste buds, some are vinegary, some leave an aftertaste. This one was friendly, it was soothing and oh so smooth. Going down it warmed her slightly. Smiling she could see a similar affect to Grace who had surprise and delight written on her face. She thanked the maitre’d and told him how much she appreciated this fine wine. Leaving the bottle for them he bowed and left them, smiling as he did so.

They enjoyed their meal. A light tomato sauce with a vegetable lasagna. There were several items that Joan had no idea what she ate but they were delicious. Grace knew a couple of things and they discussed the relative merits of one kind of food over the other. That was some of the fun of traveling, learning different foods. The wine was an excellent accompaniment to their meal. Signaling that they were done the waiter asked if they would like desert. Both were quite full. Grace had been impressed with how much Joan had packed away. She rarely ate so much. She told Grace quietly though that she had worked up an appetite and that if she was to keep it up she would need her strength. Grace blushed at the innuendo but she was pleased.

All during their long dinner people came and went throughout the restaurant. Apparently the restaurant was well known and many people who didn’t stay there still dined in. Several times their meal was interrupted by people who had met Joan and wished to speak to her. She introduced Grace to everyone as her partner from America. She stressed the title of Doctor, knowing people would be impressed. Besides which she was proud of Grace and didn’t hesitate to show it. A couple of people shyly asked her for autographs and she complied. One woman attempted to talk with her about art for a lengthy time and Joan suggested she come to the exhibit to continue their fascinating conversation. The woman, taking this as a personal invitation from the artist was very flattered and said she would see her tomorrow. Joan didn’t mention that she wouldn’t be at the gallery again until three days from then.

Grace watched Joan with a bit of awe. She had watched her in California handle her fame and notoriety with ease. Now, here in Europe it was as though it counted more. As though she had passed some level of fame. That they respected her was obvious but the admiration was different here. Grace being called doctor was basking in the reflected glare of Joan’s fame. It was a different experience for her.

After dinner they took a walk along side one of the famous Venice canals. Unable to pronounce the name of it Joan and Grace giggled like school girls. Talking, they didn’t realize the time and Grace finally yawned loudly. Due to the time difference and jet lag she was ready to sleep! Europeans in general kept different hours than they were used to and Joan had learned to adapt. She took a lot of naps whenever and wherever she could. Feeling sorry for Grace she summoned a gondola which took them back to their hotel. Joan paid him in lire which Kara had provided for her and explained the value of. Joan didn’t like overtipping and hated not knowing what she was paying for.

They snuggled under the blankets that night relieved to finally be together after all these months apart. It was nice to just hold each other close.

Grace awoke first in the morning. Slipping out from under the blankets, careful not to wake Joan she headed for the bathroom. The tub had claw feet holding it up. The shower was on the end of a long hose so you could manipulate it to your needs, a hook near the ceiling for it. Grace closed the shower drapes around the tub and took a long hot shower. She rubbed her curly hair with a towel to get out most of its wetness. Grabbing her robe she tied it around her middle. Going back into the bedroom she laid out what she would wear today. They were going to play tourist. Looking up from where her jeans, blouse, and jacket were laid she spotted Joan waking up.

“I didn’t wake you did I?” She asked softly

Joan said “uh uh” just as quietly. She looked so beautiful lying there in the white sheets, her braids spread out on the pillows. She sleepily watched as Grace pulled socks and comfortable shoes out and put them with her clothes. Grace felt a little self conscious to be watched so. It was Joan though, she didn’t need to be self conscious or awkward with her.

Joan was admiring the body she could see beneath the robe. She wondered if Grace knew that the bathroom light showed right through the robe, outlining every feature. Grace had long beautiful legs. As she moved back and forth Joan could see them clearly. Her worst feature was her chest. Her breasts had begun to sag and her chest reflected that. Joan didn’t care though. This woman still could stir her. She just laid there watching sleepily as she moved about the room.

Finally Grace sat on the bed watching Joan just as intently. “You tired?” Joan shook her head slightly. Her heavy lidded eyes looked sexy in the light from the bathroom. Grace could see light strongly behind the pulled drapes of the bedroom. “You hungry?” Joan’s eyes sparkled but she sleepily shook her head. Grace laughed at the double innuendo of that question. Joan just smiled, happy that Grace was sitting there beside her. Joan reached over and pulled Graces hand to her. She kissed it and then laid her head along side it, closing her eyes for a brief moment before releasing it. Grace loved moments like these. A person could say ‘I love you’ but it was actions more than words that showed it. Joan didn’t hesitate to show it.

Stretching Joan spread out her arms and legs in the bed. Cracks could be heard and Grace winced. In all their years together she never got used to that sound. She cracked a bit herself but not to the extent of this woman.

They shopped all morning after breakfast. Joan, who hated shopping and was noted for it, enjoyed herself immensely. It must have been the company she slyly said. They stopped at a little bistro for lunch and walked the afternoon away. Little stores that intrigued them they went into. Not looking for anything in particular. They found things to send the guys and the grandchildren. They bought postcards to send everyone. In a jewelry store they found some of the most breathtaking jewelry. Some was very old and obviously had been part of some estate. Grace was particularly taken with a ring she tried on. It looked as though it had been made for her. They looked at modern jewelry but her eyes kept drawing back to that ring. Joan bought some earrings she admired and Grace found a pendant she liked. The prices were fairly steep but they were on vacation and expected it.

They stopped at another little restaurant for coffee, mineral water, and cake. Joan realized she had left a package in the jewelry store and rushed back to retrieve it. It took her awhile and she told Grace that she thought she had been lost for awhile there. Grace wanted to see everything she could. They finally hired a water taxi to take them around the city. As sunset approached it was just beautiful on the canals. Grace mentioned the estate jewelry a couple of times. She was kicking herself that she hadn’t bought herself that ring. She wanted to go back but knew that the shop had to be closed. She wasn’t certain she could find it either in their meandering of the day.

They spent the next day with a guide who showed them about the city and told them about it’s history. A history buff, Joan enjoyed it immensely. Grace liked to just see all the incredible things that were shown them. From the great cathedrals to the incredible private homes, the architecture was astounding, the beautiful homes in the vibrant colors reflecting off the waters of the canal were breathtaking. The tour guide appreciated their questions and was so enthusiastic in his recitations. The three of them got along famously.

Most of the next day Joan had to work. Grace went along to watch but in the late afternoon she took a water taxi to try and find that jewelry store they had gone to. It took her several hours but she spotted the restaurant where they had had coffee and cake. From there she backtracked and found the jewelry store. The proprietor recognized her from the other day. He was so sorry though. The ring was already been sold. It was a one of a kind and could not be duplicated. Grace left disappointed. Joan always said, if you see it, really want it, buy it or you will never see it again and she was right! Oh well she thought disappointed, perhaps the person who bought would love it just as much. She hailed a water taxi and had it take her back to the hotel where she met Joan for dinner. She didn’t mention the ring again.

All too soon the week sped by. Grace packed her bags and reluctantly got into the limo to take her to the airport. Joan looked disappointed but they would see each other again in 3 weeks for Adams wedding. Both of them eagerly anticipated both the wedding and being home together.

~ CHAPTER 26 ~

Grace got home and unpacked. There was a package that she couldn’t remember purchasing tucked into her garment bag. Opening it she found a note from Joan:

“To the woman I love, bet you thought I’d forget your birthday didn’t you?” There was a characture in silhouette of a woman in braids with a sly smile on it drawn next to the words.

In the package was the antique ring that she had seen in the jewelry store in Venice. She remembered Joan going back for her ‘package,’ this must have been it. Sitting down on their bed she shook her head and started to cry. This was so like Joan to give her something like this. Her birthday was in a couple of days and they had both been disappointed that they wouldn’t be spending it together. It would be her 50th and they had wanted a big blowout. Friends were coming from California. The boys were going to make sure she partied despite the fact that Joan wasn’t going to be able to be there. She immediately got on the internet to send a letter to Joan. She told her she was home and thanked her from her heart for the beautiful ring. She already missed her so much.

The party was a riot. Many of the people knew each other from their house warming party earlier the previous year. There were a few new faces such as Beth but she was known by the hospital staff and welcomed by all. Aaron egged on by Craig and Jane sang a rendition of Happy Birthday that cracked them all up with it’s shaky alto.

Adam was filled with last minute preparations for his wedding. Gwen would be flying in the next week and staying with Grace. Grace had thought it silly to put her in a hotel when she had this huge house to herself. She hadn’t thought it proper to send her to Adams house until they were married. One must keep up appearances she joked. She knew though that Gwen’s parents would NOT have approved. She’d heard the story of when Gwen explained that Aaron’s famous mother was gay they had thought it was a disease that ran in the family. Shaking her head at their ignorance Grace’s heart went out to Gwen. Gwen and she got along great despite her parents. Grace had to agree with Joan that this woman was perfect for Adam. They all eagerly anticipated the wedding in a couple of weeks. When Gwens things arrived from the moving company, Grace helped her to unpack them at Adam’s house. Gwen packed a bag to stay with Grace.

At the party Bryan made sure to video tape as much as he could for his mother. Unwrapping some pretty serious gifts Grace remarked that it was too bad she couldn’t turn 49 every year, after all she had stayed 39 for quite a few years. It cracked them up. Tina asked what Joan had gotten her and Grace showed off her antique ring. A few people assumed it meant something especially when Tina asked. Grace shook her head and said no, it was just a gift from the woman who loved her, but it got her to thinking. She’d like to make a gesture acknowledging their commitment, she’d think about it in the weeks before she saw Joan again. People asked about Joan and she caught them up on the news. She was doing fabulously and Yoshi could confirm how busy the galleries were. Her notoriety had been a boon for the other artists showing in the galleries as well. Being famous hadn’t hurt Joan. Overall everyone enjoyed Graces 50th birthday. Before it was over a phone call came in. Bryan had hooked up a new phone that Grace in the living room for Grace. She had thanked him for the gift but wondered why he thought she needed a new phone until she saw Joan’s face on the monitor of it. It was a video phone and Joan had one at her end. Seeing her beaming face brought tears to Graces face. They couldn’t say everything they wanted to with a room full of guests listening in but everyone got the message. Joan missed Grace, loved her, and wished her a happy 50th.

~ CHAPTER 27 ~

Grace was working even longer hours these days at the hospital. She felt she didn’t have much else to do. She volunteered for weekends and even holidays. Many times she had lunch with Beth or Jason. She told both how lonely she was and how much she had been missing Joan. She was invited periodically over to Craig and Janes house for dinner, she even had them over a time or two but somedays she felt it just wasn’t enough. She wanted Joan home. She didn’t mention how she was feeling to Joan, she knew Joan felt the same way from what she wrote but she wouldn’t compound the situation by making Joan feel bad for her.

She and Beth had become good pals. Grace went with her to the Y a couple of times to attend an aerobics class. She could have worked on it in her own basement but sometimes it was nice just to get out. She needed to see people, her friends, the people she catered to at the hospital didn’t count.

One day they were having lunch when Beth casually asked her out to the movies. Thinking nothing of it she accepted. The movie which turned out to be a romance had them both feeling mellow and sappy. Beth gave her a ride back to her car at the hospital and before Grace could get out she quickly leaned over and tried to kiss her. Taken aback Grace could only stare. Beth didn’t apologize, she only looked at Grace, waiting.

“I’m sorry Beth if I’ve led you to believe there is something between us, but I’m in a loving and committed relationship.”

“How can it be considered a relationship if she’s never THERE for you?” Beth looked like she was sulking. Grace hadn’t responded at all like she had planned this, and she had planned the whole evening.

“Joan is doing her work. It’s important. I’m sorry if you don’t understand. I like you as a friend but that’s all there is.” Grace was feeling uncomfortable with how Beth was looking at her, if she didn’t know better she’d swear Beth should be a patient. She KNEW Beth though. She’d been friends with her for months. This was all just a huge misunderstanding.

Beth sighed. Giving Grace a little smile she said “All right, I understand. But if you ever change your mind?”

Assuring her that she wouldn’t Grace hopped out of Beth’s car. Beth didn’t drive off until Grace had started her own car. Sitting there watching Beth drive away Grace thought about what had just happened. She had never even seen it coming. She wasn’t normally that obtuse. She was a doctor of psychiatry for crying out loud, she should have seen it. She worried a little if perhaps the signals were there all along and she had been blind to them. She thought about it all the way home.

~ CHAPTER 28 ~

It was the Friday before the wedding when Joan got in. The flights had been horrible and she was very ill from bad food, turbulence, and jet lag. Kara accompanied her to see to her needs. Joan felt as though she were a watchdog. Kara was efficient but Joan was just sick of the whole tour. Kara was a reminder that she had to be back in Moscow in three days for the last leg of that exhibit. After that they would be back to the United States for a few weeks to Los Angeles and San Francisco. Joan was happy that Grace could join her in Los Angeles for a week. A taxi took them to the chalet. Joan walked in and found Gwen sitting in the living room going over lists. Smiling happily at her new future daughter-in-law she gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She introduced Kara and asked Mrs. Richardson to show her where the entertainment room was downstairs. Kara’s eyes opened wide thinking what an entertainment room in a homosexual’s house would be. She was relieved to find a pull out bed had been provided for her in the TV area. Gwen had the guest room. Joan chatted with Gwen awhile over the last minute details. Confessing a need for sleep before the practice dinner that evening she went to bed.

It had been hectic since Venice for Joan. Rome had been one scheduling snafu after another. With relief Joan was happy to hear that Allan couldn’t schedule the exhibit in Cairo or South Africa. They had gone on to Moscow for the exhibit there. The first week was over and Joan was glad there was only one week to go. She had this three day hiatus to attend her son’s wedding. She should be HERE she thought angrily. She’d been sketching a lot since Venice and she had some wonderful ideas to put into paintings but what she had been really working on had consumed all her free time since then.

She had been sketching a ring she had once seen in a jewelers store in Southern California. Looking for the jeweler on the internet she hadn’t found a site which was possible as she wasn’t sure every jeweler would or should have one. She did find through the white pages their phone and fax numbers. After a series of faxes, emails, and a few actual phone calls she had gotten the jeweler to begin creating some jewelry for her. From their original design she altered it to her taste and they had begun making it to her design for her. The original jeweler had retired years ago but he came back to create her pieces for her. It was a family owned shop. He had at first been flattered at her interest, intrigued by her design, and then excited at the creation. They planned to reintroduce the line she had originally seen some 20 years ago. A healthy deposit insured that it would be ready in time for when she wanted it. The rest of the pieces would come later as it took a lot of time to create these beautiful pieces.

Grace rushed home a little early from work. Seeing Gwen sorting things on the couch and talking to Kara she knew Joan had to be home. Greeting them both she trotted up the stairs to find Joan sprawled across the bed totally naked and soundly asleep. Joans back was skeletal. Grace was angry seeing that. They had finally worked out a system where Joan ate regular and good meals. On time and consistent. Her weight had been kept on. This stupid tour was going to kill her! It was apparent she wasn’t getting enough to eat. Letting Joan sleep she returned downstairs to talk to Kara. She explained her concerns regarding Joans dietary needs and instructed ways to keep Joan healthy in spite of herself. She tried to be patient and in no way condescending. Kara understood immediately. Despite Joans artistic temperament she was really a very nice woman. Kara cared for her boss and wanted to keep her happy. It was what made her so good at her job. It was what drove Joan nuts about her, her very efficiency. She’d do better in the future now that she knew. Kara went downstairs to take a nap. She wouldn’t be going to the practice dinner but she too was on Moscow time and needed to catch up with her jet lag. She called her parents and let them know how she was doing before she went to sleep. They were so excited at the opportunities that had opened up for her and the traveling she had to do with this job.

Joan slowly woke up. She didn’t want to but something was impelling her to. Stretching she cracked her neck and yawned widely. Sitting up suddenly with a fast indrawn breath startled both she and Grace. Laughing at it she was thrilled to see Grace. Grace had come up to wake her. The rehearsal was at 6, the dinner at 7. As mother of the groom she needed to get going. Giving Grace a kiss she headed into the shower. Sitting under the shower heads she let the steam envelop her. Breathing it for awhile she felt much better. Asking Grace to hand her her shampoo and conditioner she worked the first and the latter into her braids cleaning them. It would take forever to get them to dry but she squeezed most of the moisture out of them into a towel. Grace watched her from the bench at the end of their bed.

She watched as Joan put anti perspirant under her bare underarms showing what a good job the electrolysis had done all those years ago. She watched as she put on base, mascara, eyeliner, and eye shadow. She highlighted her lips and brushed blush on her cheeks. She didn’t really need a heavy make up but her tan was completely gone as she hadn’t taken the time or been anywhere that summer to get one. She dabbed perfume on her wrists and on her neck as well as lightly between her breasts and the backs of her knees. Things that the spa had taught her. Dressing conservatively she would still stand out, her clothes from some of Europe’s finest stores. She wore them well if a bit loosely with her weight loss. Using a hair dryer she dried as much of her hair as possible despite the braids. She roped her braids in so that they fell in loops back to a clip and off her face. Going to her jewelry cabinet she chose a necklace with a pendant and some earrings. Her watch she had bought in Rome and its gold glistened in the afternoon sunlight from the window. When she was done she twirled in front of Grace for her approval. Smiling Grace gave her a hug and a peck on the lips “Welcome home.”

Entering the church they were halted by a dark man of about 5’10”. Neither one of them knew him and he wouldn’t let them pass. He told them that it was a private ceremony practicing in the church and they couldn’t go in. Joan sized him up in an instant looking him over from head to toe. Quelling him with a look she asked if the mother of the groom was allowed in or not? For some reason he assumed Grace was the mother of the groom and addressed his remarks to her. She could go in but her friend, his thumb indicated Joan could not. Grace laughed at Joan’s face. Seeing the humor in the situation she joined in shaking her head.

“Look boyo, if you don’t step aside and let us in your going to be a might hurt in a moment.” She told him in a conversational tone.

Surprised at her words he could only frown at her. “Look lady, I was instructed by the parents of the bride that the grooms family was very important and I can’t have everyone and their brother in there. I have to keep the riff raff out okay?”

“I certainly understand your mission” she was being heavily condescending, treating as she would a little errant boy, she laughed as she added “and your right, I am famous, but this is your last warning, get the hell” she winced as she was in a church “out of our way.”

Pulling himself up to his full height 3” over Joan’s own he tried to look down his nose at her. Getting ready for a scene Grace went to speak but was interrupted by Adam sticking his head out the door. “Hey MOM!” He came over and gave Joan a big hug and a kiss. The man backed off astonished.

“Who is this?” Joan asked her head indicating the oaf who had tried to stop them from entering the church.

“Oh, that’s right you haven’t met everyone. This is Tommy, one of our ushers. He’s Gwen’s brother.” Turning to Tommy he tried to introduce Joan “Tommy this is my mother Joan Woods...” he trailed off as he saw the look in Tommy’s eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Apparently good manners don’t run in Gwen’s family.” Joan answered dryly. “He wouldn’t let us into the church for the rehearsal. He thought Grace was your mother.” She arched her brow up at him.

Laughing Adam pulled her forward into the church apologizing. He explained that there had been some particularly pesky members of the press snooping around. As Joan became more and more famous people wanted to know about HER. Grace followed along behind them looping her arm through Tommy’s pulling him along as well. She leaned over to tell him she hadn’t been more flattered in her life that he thought she was Adam’s mother. She let him seat her near the front so she could watch the practice. Joan and Adam went over to Gwen where she was standing with an older couple. Adam introduced his mother to them.

“Mr. and Mrs. Kovoch I’d like to introduce my mother, Joan Woods to you. Mother, this is Gwen’s parents Mr. and Mrs. Kovoch.”

Holding out her hand to first Mrs. Kovoch and then Mr. Kovoch, she said “Please call me Joan.” Mr. Kovoch was friendly but Mrs. Kovoch was examining Joan from head to foot. Apparently Joan’s reputation had preceded her and didn’t pass up to snuff. From her expensive clothes to her braided hair to her lifestyle she wasn’t going to pass muster. Oh well, some people just wouldn’t accept people for who they were. Joan let it go. Mr. Kovoch’s “and I’m Don” should have proceeded Mrs. Kovoch’s first name but she didn’t volunteer it. From then on it was Don and Mrs. Kovoch.

She watched with Grace as the bridesmaids and groomsmen practiced walking into the church. The organist practiced along with them. The minister explained various things he wanted them to do, where to be, etc. Craig and Bryan were groomsmen and they each gave a wave to their Mom. Jane sat further along the pew from Grace and Joan.

Joan suddenly realized that she hadn’t gotten her son a gift. Alarmed she whispered to Grace “did you get them a gift?”

Grace smiled. She had known Joan was usually very good about gift giving. Her ring attested to that but she had also known with Joan so busy she might forget. She had purchased a gift from both of them just in case. Leaning over and whispering back she told Joan about it. THEY had bought the couple an all expense paid honeymoon trip to the South Pacific. Impressed at Graces thoughtfulness and impressed how exactly it was the right gift she would have purchased as well, Joan leaned over to kiss her in thank you. Remembering where they were she pulled herself up before she actually kissed her and instead said a heart felt thank you. Grace discretely caught her hand and squeezed it. She didn’t let go either. Joan watched the rest of the practice happily. Looking around at the church she was admiring the architecture when she felt like someone was watching her. Looking around she saw Mrs. Kovoch glaring at her. Her eyes look deliberately down where Joan and Grace were holding hands and back up at Joans eyes. Joan ignored her and stared insolently back at her amused.

The practice dinner was at a club downtown. A long table where family members and members of the bridal party sat in a semicircle. Before the meal was served Don got up and made a speech about how happy he was to see his daughter had caught herself such a fine man. How he was sure Adam would make her happy, or else. Everyone laughed. Then he asked that everyone tell who they were and how they knew the couple. They would start on his side and they would alternate back and forth down the table. Joan hated things like this. It always made her uncomfortable. She listened as the Kovoch’s introduced themselves, how wonderful they knew their daughter since birth, how happy they were to be here to share in the joy of her marriage.

Then being the mother of the groom Joan stood up and said “Hello, I’m Joan Woods and I’m the mother of the groom. I’ve known Adam for some 25 years now. I’ve been blessed enough to see him grow into a fine upstanding gentleman. A couple of years ago he told me had met a woman. The woman you see sitting beside him. I’m happy to welcome her to our family. She has shown that she loves my son, and wishes to make him happy, to share in his life. To me that means a lot. If no one has said it thus far Gwen, I say it now, WELCOME to our family.” With that she raised her wine glass in salute and sat down. Several other people raised their wine glasses as well.

Much to Mrs. Kovoch’s annoyance Grace stood up. “Hello, I’m Dr. Grace Monroe. I’m Joan’s partner.” Mrs. Kovoch almost had a coronary at that. “I’m lucky to be included in this fine family with it’s three strong young men. I’m happy to say that both Gwen and Adam are also my friends. I wish you both long life and happiness.” She saluted them with her wine glass and sat down.

It took another 45 minutes before everyone invited to the practice dinner finished saluting and having their say. Finally, they could eat. Afterwards everyone felt free to stand up and move around and socialize. Joan overheard Mrs. Kovoch angrily telling her husband that Grace should not be there much less having anything to say. Unfortunately Gwen overheard her and gave her a tongue lashing. Grace was a part of Adam’s life as well as a friend of Gwen’s, she was family, if her mother didn’t like it then that was just too bad. Joan silently cheered her on, she was touched to hear that they all considered Grace family.

Later back at the house Gwen’s nerves were frazzled. Joan and Grace and she had a chatty night and Kara came upstairs to join them. Once the clock struck midnight though Joan insisted everyone go to bed and get some sleep for the wedding the next day. She and Grace said goodnight and went upstairs. Gwen and Kara went downstairs.

Undressing and getting ready for bed Joan was tempted to tell Grace what she had overheard but decided that she didn’t want to hurt Grace, although she was proud of the way Gwen had not only stuck up for Grace but had included her as family. She sat at the vanity in the bathroom staring off and daydreaming. Her clothes were hung up, she was in a nightgown and robe, she was removing her makeup, and she absentmindedly stared off into a corner of the bathroom. Two hands began to knead her shoulders startling her out of her reverie. Looking into the mirror in front of her she saw Grace standing behind her looking back at her. Smiling at that reflection she enjoyed the feeling of Graces hands on her shoulders. Closing her eyes to enjoy it fully she thought of the idiot that she had had the misfortune to meet tonight. That woman would never understand that it is the person and not the sex of the person that mattered.

Grace continued massaging Joan. She enjoyed massaging Joan. The intimate contact, the use of her skills. She’d missed this woman so much. She watched how her ministrations affected her in the reflection of the mirror. Her face relaxed and her eyes closed. Her fingertips moved down her back and she put her lips on the neck where her hands had been a few moments before.

“Mmmm” Joan responded holding very still.

Grace slid her hands around Joans waist hugging her to Grace. Her lips continued to kiss along Joan’s neck. She reached up and began kneading Joan’s breasts through the satin material of her robe and Joans breathe was hissed inward. Joan’s breasts immediately began to harden, the nipples appearing through the thin material. She let her head fall back against Grace and Grace kissed along her very sensitive neck until she reached her mouth. Kissing her deeply Joan could feel her own response. Desire coursed through her. It was a good thing she was already sitting as her knees felt very weak. She could feel a familiar throbbing begin between her legs. Joan groaned in her desire. Reaching up she cupped Graces face. Her arms raised caused her breasts to lunge into Graces hands, pleasuring them both. Finally Grace made as if to raise Joan from the stool. Grace wouldn’t let her turn around and released her lips to nibble along her neck once again. One hand left Joan’s breasts to untie her robe and let it hang open. Grace pulled it off and as it pooled at their feet she immediately returned to knead Joan’s breasts. Joan’s breath was coming thickly. She let her head hang forward so Grace could access the back of her neck. Grace brushed aside Joans braids with her nose, breathing in the perfume on her neck, the scent from her shampoo, and her own unique essence. Desire coursed through Graces body as the scents assailed her. Unconsciously she tightened her hand and squeezed hard on Joan’s breast. Joan’s knees nearly buckled. Grace let go of her breast to begin raising her nightgown. It’s satin brushing against her aroused nipples was sheer agony. She opened her eyes as Grace pulled it over her head and disentangled her braids. Her eyes met Graces in the mirror as Grace looked over her shoulder at her. Grace pushed the robe and nightgown aside with her foot and then the stool the other way. She stood directly behind Joan now and her arms circled around. Now bare skin met bare skin. Nothing was between her hands and Joan’s body. Joan leaned her head back onto Graces shoulder as Graces hands returned to breasts. The breasts seemed to leap into those hands and Grace cupped them firmly. She watched Joans responses in the mirror that they faced. Joan was very aroused by Graces stimulation’s. It was all very erotic to watch. Grace trailed her hand along the long neck exposed to her, watching intently in the mirror. She went down Joans body trailing her fingertips lightly caressing the soft skin where her torso met her leg caressing towards the V of Joans legs. Joan couldn’t remain still. Her knees wanted her desperately to fall. Her eyes opened to look at Grace again in the mirror. Both of them had very dilated pupils. Joan moved again as if to turn around and this time Grace let her. Joan pushed at Graces open robe, almost tearing it in her haste. Once the robe was cast aside she met Grace in a searing kiss. Grace reached down below Joans braids to squeeze her butt. Joan moaned at this. Her tongue was making inroads into Graces mouth. Both of them were panting heavily already. Her desire was overwhelming her. She raised her leg to rub it against Graces. Her hands were caressing down her back. Finally it was too much to stand there any longer and they mutually consented to move it to the bed.

Waking up the next morning Joan was pleased to find Grace still in her arms. She looked forward to today and her son’s marriage. Gwen was a good mate for him and she wished them both well. Thinking about Gwens parents though caused her to unconsciously tighten her hand, squeezing Grace in the process. Grace sleepily awoke.

“Is something wrong” she asked her voice thick with sleep.

“No” Joan kissed her brow “sorry, I didn’t intend to wake you.”

Smiling in remembrance of the previous evening Grace asked “why not?” She turned over to rise over Joan brushing her breasts against Joan as she reached for a kiss.

Joan hooked her leg behind Grace to pull her closer as they began to make love. Later in the bathtub they discussed the coming nuptials and Grace told her some of Gwen and Adam’s plans that Joan didn’t know. Joan had chosen this particular bathtub for this very reason. They could both sit in it’s molded seats. It was long and deep and they could soak in it for as long as they wanted. If they wanted the jets on it would shoot the water in a circular motion reheating it as it sucked some of it into the mechanism. Joan played with Graces toes as they talked. Joan had put up her braids to keep them from getting wet again. After an hour in the tub they were both pruny but happy. Wearing nightgowns and robes they went down for breakfast.

Mrs. Richardson had scrambled eggs, toast, bacon, orange juice, and apple juice ready and waiting on the table for them. They were halfway through their meal when Gwen came upstairs and then soon after Kara. Gwen didn’t look at all as a blushing bride should. Her hair was all in disarray from sleep, severe bed head, her face puffy and creased where it had lain imbedded in a pillow. Kara looked perky much to Joan’s disgruntlement. She too had been in her twenties once but never this perky. Kara wouldn’t be coming to the church but would join them later for the reception. She didn’t know Adam well as she had only started working for Joan at the beginning of the tour. She had made friends with Gwen quickly though and everyone had felt it would be rude to leave her at the house. Mrs. Richardson would be at both the church and the reception. Her husband as well. She was good friends with the boys after the previous summers non stop partying. This summer with Joan gone hadn’t been as wild even though the boys and their friends had used the boat and wave runners.

Joan had finished her breakfast when the intercom from the front gate went off. As she had risen to put her plate in the sink she answered it. A car could be seen as well. A head sticking out of it to push the button at the gate. Seeing that it was Gwen’s parents she didn’t bother talking and instead released the gate which swung wide to let their car through. Joan went to the front door to let them in. Don was jovial this morning but Mrs. Kovoch stared disapprovingly at Joan’s morning attire. Joan invited them to breakfast and escorted them into the alcove but they refused having eaten at the hotel. Mrs. Kovoch told all of them that they had had trouble finding the chalet as they lived so far out. She stared at Joan as though it was all her fault. Joan offered her a tour but she refused and instead turned to her daughter to hurry her along. The intercom went off again and Joan turned to let another car filled with giggling bridesmaids in. Deciding that she didn’t want to be involved in this part of the wedding Joan headed upstairs.

She was standing in her studio for the first time in over five months. Grace found her there just looking around with her head raised to the sunbeams coming through the skylights. Her eyes closed she looked like she was praying. Grace smiled, amused. She thought about the rude woman downstairs who Joan antagonized with just her being. She went and gave this woman whom she loved a hug putting her arms around her from behind. Surprised Joan hugged her arms to her. It was mornings like this she loved best. The closeness, the simpleness of it, she missed it.

All too soon it was time for everyone to get ready for the wedding. It was at 2:30 and the photographer wanted them there early to get a few pictures out of the way. Joan dressed in a dress she had found in Berlin. It was modest and not at all matronly. She ended up looking incredibly sexy after she put the gray sparkling concoction on. Grace certainly appreciated it’s effect. Grace was wearing a suit similar to the tuxedo dress she had worn back at the gala in California. This one was a velvety brown and made her eyes stand out. The skirt was slit up to there, showing off her long legs. Joan thought her very attractive in it. As soon as they both stepped down off the stairs they ran into Mrs. Kovoch. Her disapproving glare encompassed them both. Joan and Grace exchanged a look and almost burst out laughing. Going into their chaotic living room it was full of bride and bridesmaids all chattering nervously. Gwen stopped chattering long enough to exclaim over their outfits. Joans long mane of braids intrigued the bridesmaids, a sister and two best friends from college. Joan was bombarded with questions on how to take care of them, how long it took to grow them, etc.

Finally it was time to head to the church. A limo took the bride and her parents first. Another limo took the bridesmaids and a third took Grace and Joan. Kara had caught a ride with the bridesmaids, all similar in ages, and already fast friends. Mrs. Richardson had left soon after breakfast.

The wedding was beautiful. Adam stood tall and proud in his English morning suit. The pinstriped tux showing off his tall frame wonderfully. Craig stood behind him as best man, Bryan escorted one bridesmaid and a friend from college the other. They promised to love and cherish in sickness and in health until death doeth part. Joan smiled widely, holding back tears, watching one of her babies get married. She was so proud of Aaron as ring bearer. His job finished he sat in front of his Grandma, Grace, and Jane who held little Jennifer. The flower girl sat in front of the Kovoch’s, she was Gwen’s niece. Gwen’s two brothers were ushers. The one they had embarrassed yesterday made sure he didn’t make eye contact with Grace or Joan.

The reception was a riot. There were flowers everywhere. Disposable cameras were at every table for candid snapshots. Joan danced with her son and then with Mr. Kovoch. Adam went over and drew Grace up for a dance as well. Joan danced with her other son’s. They too made sure to dance with Grace. Joan even danced with Aaron much to his delight. The food was delicious. Gwen and Adam had chosen wisely and their guests were well satisfied. Just before midnight they slipped away to their honeymoon suite. The party continued without the bride and groom until well into the morning. Joan and Grace took their limousine back to a quiet chalet to spend a quiet morning together. People would arrive later for brunch.

The caterers arrived at 9AM on Sunday to set up for brunch. Joan was doing pretty well despite the lack of sleep the past few days. With the time change she could tell it would be catching up to her soon. Her butt was starting to drag. Grace watched her closely to be there if she began to falter. The presents were all over the dining room. The caterers set up their own tables in front of the windows and doors to the deck. People began arriving and Joan switched off the security system and gate. She swung the gate wide so cars could just pull into the drive. Everyone who had been invited to the brunch had maps to find the chalet.

Grace had given the newlyweds a hint that they would be leaving this afternoon on their honeymoon but not where. She hadn’t wanted Adam to buy a second set of tickets to somewhere so she told him only that she and his mother had bought their honeymoon as a wedding present. She only told them to pack a toothbrush and a smile. Laughing at them she also told them to pack shorts and swimming suits. She wouldn’t reveal where they were going until their brunch.

Joan sat on the couch as they opened their gifts. Grace was chatting with Jane as the presents were revealed. They got FIVE automatic coffee makers alone. Joan laughed with everyone else. The caterers had done a good job and everyone had plates full. Mrs. Kovoch hovered around her daughter to help keep track of who gave what. The wedding planner stood discretely back so Mrs. Kovoch could help. Finally the last present was opened and duelly noted. Grace stood up and took an envelope that she had hidden. She walked over to the newlyweds in front of everyone and handed them the envelope kissing each one on the cheek, telling them it was from Joan and she. Gwen squealed when it was revealed they were going to the South Pacific. They would be on a boat chartered for their honeymoon and sail among the islands for two weeks. Adam gave Grace a hug and a kiss and then went over to do the same to his mother. Gwen hugged Grace unashamedly exclaiming over the gift. She went over to Joan and kissed and hugged her thanking her. Looking her full in the face she asked if she could now call her Mom? Joan froze and she could see out of the corner of her eye that Mrs. Kovoch froze as well. Laughing she said how about Joan instead? You have a mom she pointed out. Laughing with her, no one could burst her bubble, Gwen agreed.

The honeymooners left around 2 to catch their flight. As instructed they had packed shorts and the like so were ready to go but they had to pick up their passports. The wedding gifts would remain at the chalet until the newlyweds returned from their honeymoon in two weeks.

Joan and Grace said goodbye to the last of their guests soon afterwards and the caterers cleaned up the place. Don thanked Joan for their hospitality and left with Mrs. Kovoch who hadn’t said a word in gratitude.

Joan went upstairs to pack for herself. She hadn’t brought much knowing she was staying for only two nights. Grace was depressed to see her go but drove her to the airport with Kara to catch a 4 PM flight. Grace walked them in and waited until the flight was called. Hugging Joan tight she told her she’d see her in a week or so in LA.

~ CHAPTER 29 ~

When Joan touched down at LAX she felt like she was coming HOME. The palm trees and the warm sun greeted her. The limo took her to the Hyatt and she slept for 12 hours straight. The last week in Moscow had been hellish. She had arrived in Los Angeles days before Grace would in order to take care of some business. The next morning she had the limo driver take her down to Westminster in Orange County to the jeweler she had contacted from Venice and again in Rome and Moscow. The ring she had drawn should be ready to be picked up. The limo pulling into the mall caused some curious glances but Joan ignored them. Allan had insisted she have a body guard in Los Angeles and San Francisco so now a guy by the name of Michael shadowed her. Telling the driver to wait nearby she went into the mall where the jeweler had his store, Michael followed discretely behind her. On the lower level she found a directory and his store. The mall had changed a lot in the 20 years since she had last been there. She walked into the jewelers and three heads whipped up. They seemed startled when she introduced herself and asked to see the old jeweler. He had heard her ask for him and popped out from a back room. He ushered her to a seat and brought out the ring. It was gorgeous. Exactly what she had asked him to create. The stone was incredible and the picture he had sent on the internet hadn’t done it justice. Joan paid the balance due on the ring as well as the deposit on the rest of the pieces she ordered from him. Pulling another drawing from her purse she explained to him what she needed for this new ring. Smiling and nodding as she explained he understood exactly what she wanted. Taking the sketch he promised it in two months. Showing her a few uncut gems, she couldn’t decide and she couldn’t tell until they had been cut what they would look like. He would email the pictures of the stones she wanted when they had been cut. Smiling happily at the ease of their business transaction she slipped the boxed ring into her purse. Shaking his hand she departed. Into the mall she went with Michael discreetly a step behind her. She had told him about the ring and told him she would shoot him herself if anything happened to it. She put it in the hotel safe until she needed it.

That afternoon she went to Malibu to visit her gallery there. She and Madge discussed business for a full three hours before she headed to the beach for a jog. She stopped in at Jack’s first much to his delight. She caught up on gossip with him and Marie, one of the waitresses. He raved to other diners that this was the artist who created his beautiful works of art in the dining room. Embarrassed she just shook her head at him. Finally she headed out for her jog. The limo met her and Michael down the beach several miles. Michael wasn’t much of a jogger and Joan teased him about it all the way back to her hotel room. She changed into a swim suit and sat out at the pool until the sun set. She ate at the hotel dining room and several people stopped by her table to talk to her. Michael sat next to her as though her date. Few would guess he was her body guard.

The next day Joan went for a long jog. Michael had found a bicycle somewhere and he followed better today. The sun was murderous and she could feel it on her bare head. A headache began to pound at her temples from the sun. She jogged back to the hotel to lie down. She took ibuprofen to get rid of the headache. After a few hours and things getting worse such as seeing spots where there weren’t any she became worried and called Kara. Kara panicked and called the hotel doctor. He recommended that she go to the hospital which she refused. After much discussion and arguing they finally agreed to give her an IV there at the hotel. She was laying on the couch with a cold cloth over her eyes and a needle sticking out of her arm when Grace walked into the suite. Alarmed at seeing Joan like this she demanded “What the HELL is going on?”

Joan woke up immediately upon hearing Graces voice. She tried to rise from the couch but dizziness overcame her and she fell back down. The doctor told her to stay there. Grace rushed to her worried. The doctor explained to Grace that Joan was a bit dehydrated, had too much sun, and had refused treatment at the hospital. The IV was to rehydrate her. Grace was furious at this irresponsibility. Joan should be at the hospital not in some posh hotel room. She vented on Kara who discreetly left. Joan tried to calm her but Grace was adamant about this. Finally Joan agreed if she didn’t feel better soon she would go, but the IV worked along with the orange juice and ice she had been sucking down.

Grace waited until the doctor had left before airing her feelings to Joan. How irresponsible to jeopardize her health like this. Joan told her dryly she was happy to see her too and was she as hungry as Joan? Not funny. Grace was furious. It took awhile for her to calm down. She had looked forward to this week in LA with Joan. They had planned to see their friends and go to some of their old haunts. With the exhibit right there they would have plenty of free time. Now she just wanted to hide here up in their suite. Joan persuaded her to at least go to dinner with her. Michael shadowed them as they made their way to the dining room. With Michael eating with them they couldn’t talk about anything personal so Grace told her about her flight and arrival. Michael had sent the limo for her. Grace planned on renting a car for the rest of the week. Joan said why bother when the limo was available. Shrugging it off she guessed she could use it if she HAD too, grinning at the great inconvenience of having a limo at her disposal. She and Joan giggled like school girls.

They returned to the suite after dinner to catch up and as there were no plans to go out that night Michael retired for the night but not before stressing that they should CALL him if they changed their minds about going out.

They sipped wine and looked out at the skyline of LA from the balcony. It had rained several days before and the smog hadn’t had a chance to blur it. The night was crisp and clean and clear. They were up on the 20th floor and had a good view. Joan heard the doorbell ring and went to answer it. She had arranged for her package from the safe to be delivered to her. Checking that it was HER package she signed for it. She slipped the box into her robe. Grace came in from the balcony. She closed the patio doors saying it was getting cold. She went into the bedroom and returned shortly thereafter. Joan sat on the couch with another glass of wine. Grace sat down next to her and they stretched out quietly beside each other, a companionable silence.

The quiet was broken when Grace turned to Joan and asked “Joan, how long have we been together?”

Thinking for a moment she answered “four and half years or so.”

“Have you ever thought of making it permanent?” she asked.

Releasing a quiet little snort of air through her nose Joan answered “well if what we already have isn’t permanent I’d like to know what is.”

Grace tried another tack. She was nervous and it was beginning to show. “Joan, you know I love you?”

Joan stared at her like she was crazy “Of course”

Reaching into her robe pocket Grace pulled out a box and said very seriously “would you marry me?” She opened the box to show a beautiful solitaire gem. The gem was huge at least 5 karats.

Joan was totally surprised and her mouth hung open staring at the ring and thinking. She didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry. She didn’t answer for so long that Grace was becoming even more nervous. Finally, closing her mouth she swallowed and answered looking straight into Graces eyes “Yes, I’ll marry you Grace” she reached into her robe pocket and withdrew the box retrieved from the safe. She opened it to reveal the ring she had had made for Grace as she continued “but only if you will marry me?”

Now it was Graces turn to be astounded. She stared at this incredible ring before her. You could have dropped a pin in the room they were both so quiet. Joan was waiting on Graces answer. She was sure of what it would be but she wanted to HEAR it. Finally Grace looked up with tears in her eyes. She nodded dumbly and said throatily “yes, oh yes Joan I would love to.” She closed her ring box and threw her arms around Joan, unbalancing her.

Joan closed her ring box in time to keep it from falling out as the box tumbled to the ground. Grace kissed her hard and mindlessly. She overwhelmed Joan with her passion. Grace was crying and laughing and trying to kiss her all at the same time. Joan returned her kisses, kiss for kiss. Finally she buried her face in Graces neck under her hair and just held her until she calmed down.

The odd thing about their proposals is how they handled them. Grace had been so keyed up about it. She’d thought about it since she had returned from Venice and seen the ring that Joan had given her for her birthday. She’d been wired for this evening. She hadn’t been sure Joan would say yes and as a result her nerves had been on edge. She wasn’t sure Joan would think a commitment would be necessary. To have Joan propose as well had not been in the equation, it had never entered her mind. When she had thought about this night she had thought about arguments as to why they should have a commitment ceremony if Joan should say no. How joyous she would be if Joan said yes. Never had she even considered that Joan would propose to her. And the ring! How incredible was that.

Joan had been keyed up for her proposal as well. When Grace beat her to the punch she had been astounded and thinking quick thought up her answer and proposal. When she had seen the ring in Venice she had thought of making that an engagement ring but wanted something new for Grace. Thinking of the design from 20 years ago she had fallen in love with it and the idea. She sketched it from memory and had contacted the jeweler.

Finally Grace sat back and reached to the floor for the box Joan had offered her. She looked up at Joan as Joan watched her, her eyes awash with tears that she had shed in her joy. Opening her box for Joan first she took the ring out and very solemnly put it on Joan’s left ring finger. She kissed Joans fingertips for good measure. Then she opened the box that Joan had offered her. She gazed at the ring for a long time, the tears clearing from her eyes. Joan finally took the ring from the box and slipped it quietly on Graces engagement finger. She explained the ring to her. It was two slim hands delicately holding a beautiful lazer sculpted sapphire. The lights caught the sapphire at any angle. The delicate hands holding it were gold. Joan told Grace those were the hands of an artist holding the sapphire that was Graces birthstone and heart. Grace burst into delighted tears again after the explanation of the ring. Later Joan would give her the framed sketch of the ring that had started this ring.

Grace explained that she had gotten Joan’s ring from a jeweler in Wausau. It had taken forever to find a five carat white topaz that she liked. Joan knew it had to have been near to impossible. Topaz was her favorite stone and few people knew that topazes in their natural state were similar in color to diamonds but not nearly as hard. They only turned colors with extreme heat. Looking at the stone it was beautiful on her large hand. Joan never wore rings because of the size of her hands and her painting. She would wear this one always.

They both sat admiring their rings. Joan started laughing out of the blue. Grace looked up puzzled at her. Joan explained how weird it was that they had both had the same idea. How in synch were they? She smiled her huge smile to Grace. Grace leaned over and kissed her, reminding them both of the first time she had done so all those years ago in the Jaguar.

Grace mentioned she would like the commitment ceremony when Joan was finished with her tour after Sydney. Joan looked at her puzzled and asked “what commitment ceremony?”

“Ours, silly. You know the one we exchanged rings for?” She laughed at Joan.

Still puzzled Joan asked “I thought you wanted to get married?”

“I do, but you know it’s only symbolic anyway. Wisconsin doesn’t recognize marriages between same sex partners.”

Realizing finally where Grace was going with this she answered “then we don’t get married in Wisconsin.”

Hurt Grace asked “you don’t WANT to get married?”

“I didn’t say that. I said we wouldn’t get married in Wisconsin.”

“Where do you want to get married then? Las Vegas?”

Joan thought Las Vegas tacky. It showed on her face. It would be the worst place to get married in her mind, but she had somewhere else in mind. “How about Hawaii?” she asked Grace.

“Hawaii?”

“Yes, same sex marriages are legal there. I checked it out.” Joan smiled at her.

Surprise written all over her face it quickly turned to joy over this news. Grace was thrilled. A real marriage ceremony, not just symbolism. Binding both in the eyes of the law and themselves.

“Not too many people would be able to get to Hawaii though” she mused.

“Then that would keep down the guest list wouldn’t it?” Joan laughed.

Grace had never thought that the marriage vows spoken would be real to anyone but themselves and perhaps their friends and family. To know that it would be recognized at least in one state and such a beautiful one at that gave her untold joy. Over the next few days they discussed what they wanted for their wedding, who they wanted to invite, and when they wanted it. Joan turned the entire arrangements over to Grace once they decided to have it after the tour was over. Grace knew her wishes and Joan would have no time to handle the arrangements. They were both so thrilled at the prospect.

The exhibit went well. Joan was grateful that Michael was there to escort both she and Grace to and from it. She was being treated like a star these days. In fact while Grace was still there they went to a star studded party and rubbed shoulders with them.

Allan and Kara both noticed Joans ring immediately. Since she never wore rings they knew immediately about her engagement. Their eyes bugged out when they saw the ring that Joan had commissioned for Grace. Hearing about the sketch Allan demanded to see it and tried to convince Joan to make it into a painting. She refused saying it was one of a kind and would remain that way. She had signed the sketch but it was for her fiancee only. Fiancee, what an odd sounding word she thought and one she hadn’t thought of ever using again.

The night they met up with the girls, Joanne, Tracey, Addie, and Tina they decided not to say anything so they could have some fun. They all went out to eat at the restaurant that Grace had taken Joan to that first night after the convention down in Orange County off of Harbor Boulevard near Garden Grove. The girls thought it too cool that they showed up in a limo and the sight of Michael shadowing them was just too much. They teased them horribly about what snobs they were becoming. Michael sat far enough away from them not to interfere with their meal with friends but close enough that he could get up quickly and reach Joan if need be.

Joanne was the first to notice Graces ring. She brought it to the other’s attention and the girls exclaimed over it. When Grace told them the story behind it they blinked back tears. Joan then showed them her hand which she had kept hidden in her lap until then. She wanted it to be about Grace. Their friends were thrilled for them. When they told them that they would be having an actual wedding ceremony and where, everyone went crazy. Grace told them the plans that they already had made and told them that she expected each and every one of them to be there to share the moment with them.

~ CHAPTER 30 ~

Joan called the boys the next day to share their news with them. Adam was back from his honeymoon and for once he was genuinely happy for her regarding Grace. He understood now what it meant to love someone so much. Adam congratulated her and left it at that.

Craig surprised her when she told him. He asked if she was sure she wanted to take it that far, getting married and all. She knew he was trying to protect her assets but she felt it was a bit tactless for him to mention it. She let him know in no uncertain terms that she was unhappy with him and he backed off.

Bryan was thrilled for both of them and insisted on talking to Grace to congratulate her as well.

Joan was sorry to see Grace leave at LAX at the end of the week. They were going on to San Francisco. She kept saying to herself just eight more weeks, just eight more weeks. Then she and Grace would be married and no more of this damn tour. It had been fun in parts, it had certainly been profitable and good for her career, but it had been entirely too long!

Allan was talking about doing smaller cities but she told him if he mentioned doing a tour again to her she would fire him. The tour thus far had been enormously successful and he didn’t push it. He just left it with the idea that they would do occasional cities in the future, nothing like this non stop eight month monster that he had orchestrated.

They had hauled around the work “Aphrodisiac” all over the world to exhibit. There were several other works as well as prints. They had several offers for it but Joan wanted to have an auction for it after Sidney. Their mailing list and internet work had expanded to quite a size that for now Allan’s office was handling it all instead of the galleries. They would contact everyone after Hong Kong and announce the auction to be finalized after Sydney to the highest bidder. Joan thought they should start the bidding at $100,000. She had a couple of works over the years go for that but not too many. “Aphrodisiac” though she knew was something special. She’d seen peoples reactions from many different walks of life and cultures. She KNEW it was something.

The week in San Francisco was pleasant. The city itself seemed to cater to artists. Many were across the bridge in Sausalito. It was chaotic and crowded from day one. Joan got writers cramp over and over. She loved it when other artists admired and exclaimed over her work, it validated it in her mind. It was her business to sell it to the general public but when a true artist appreciated it as well, it did something for her.

Finally it was on to Tokyo, Bangkok, and Hong Kong. In Sydney Joan managed to contract another suitor. Despite her best efforts he wouldn’t take no for an answer. She showed him her engagement ring, told him about Grace, told him of her love for her but he laughed it all off telling her that she was the one for him. He was cocky and arrogant. He became so persistant she finally told Michael to keep him away from her. He cornered her one night on the way back to her hotel when Michael had been distracted and he pressed himself against her. Pawing at her and quickly putting his hand up her dress he pulled at her panties. Only her quick thinking saved her from being raped then and there against the wall. She punched him using her left hand and ripped open a gash across his cheek with her ring. Michael hauled him off after that. Joan refused to press charges preferring to keep it quiet. Two nights later she was in a bar with various people she had met from the exhibit when he showed up there. Michael had left to use the mens room while he left her with the mayor. Jeremy came right over to her and stood there while she examined the cut on his cheek, it would scar she was certain. He tried charming her away from the mayor and others in their party but she wouldn’t leave, she wasn’t stupid. When her back was turned to talk to someone he slipped something in her drink. Only Michael’s return and seeing what Jeremy had done kept her from drinking it. This time they decided to press charges. The mayor promised to see this through for her. He was embarrassed that someone of Joan’s renown had been bothered in his city.

The last few days of Sydney were hectic. A good sized package arrived Federal Express from the jewelers. Examining its contents Joan was pleased and authorized payment via her credit card for the remainder. The wedding ring she had commissioned and which had been awaiting her final payment was then sent as well. Opening it’s box, Joan was excited. She wanted to tell Grace about it immediately, share it with the most important person in her life, but at the same time knew she should hold in the surprise for their wedding the following week. Wow, they were getting married in a week!

Grace had handled the plans admirably. Getting married long distance was difficult but money spoke volumes. For the first time she understood how Joan felt when she wanted something done she simply paid for it to GET done. The wedding invitations had gone out within two weeks of their engagement and she was pleasantly surprised how many would attend. All the guys would be there, Craig with Jane and their two children, Adam and Gwen, Bryan would come stag. Graces coworker Jason and his wife Betty were excited to go to Hawaii. Joanne and the girls confessed they couldn’t afford it but when Joan heard that she sent them all two tickets so they could be there with their partners. Tina tried to still decline, she had never fully accepted Joan and thought she shouldn’t be there but the girls ragged on her until she accepted. Allan and his wife and Kara would be there. Madge, Amy, Yoshi, and Richard all accepted. Grace was relieved when Jack declined. She found a wedding coordinator in Hawaii who handled a lot for her and she was grateful. Many emails and downloads later it was all planned, down to the flower. Grace just wanted to get there now and get Joan there.

Grace was worried about Joan. The tour had really taken it out of her. She’d been dehydrated in Los Angeles and it really worried her the state she would be in when she reached Hawaii after 8 weeks. Her emails and her calls had become infrequent and not wordy at all. That she was tired was very apparent. She kept telling Joan to just hold it all together for a little while longer.

~ CHAPTER 31 ~

Hawaii was just gorgeous and Joan was thrilled as she looked from the limo. She was HERE! In just two days she would be married to Grace. Grace was already somewhere in town. The limo that the wedding planner had sent had met her at the airport. She shared it with Allan and Kara. Allan’s wife was to meet him at the hotel. He was anxious to see her. She’d traveled with them on part of the tour but couldn’t stand it anymore after awhile and went back home.

Joan was ushered to a suite at the top of the hotel. It looked out over a beautiful beach of white sands. The wedding coordinator met her there. Asking for any last minute details Joan was informed that she wouldn’t be seeing her bride until the ceremony in two days time. Angry at this news she demanded to know where Grace was. She ended up yelling at the woman and the guys walked into this. Surprised to see their mother in such a state they tried to calm her down. She said it was ridiculous that she and Grace be kept apart until the ceremony when it was two days away! They agreed and Bryan left to go find Grace. The wedding planner nervously twisted her hands while they waited. Craig and Adam talked to their mother about neutral subjects until Grace arrived breathless into the suite. Joan went to her and they hugged. Grace asked what on earth was going on and the wedding planner tried to explain her view on things and Grace put the damper on that. It WAS ridiculous to keep them apart until their wedding day. Yes, on the wedding day itself they wouldn’t see each other until the ceremony but in the meantime she hadn’t seen Joan in 8 weeks! The coordinator went over the last minute details and left the suite a bit annoyed.

The boys spent about an hour with their mother and Grace before leaving them alone. Joan collapsed into Graces arms relieved to be finally alone with her. Grace held her, comforting her. The stress of the tour, the final shows, and the upcoming wedding would have gotten to anyone. After awhile Joan began to talk. She told Grace about what had happened in Sydney with that guy Jeremy. Keeping nothing back she told how frightened she had been when he almost raped her against a wall and then tried to drug her. Grace became frightened for her. She hadn’t realized as Joan became more famous how dangerous it would become for her. She finally realized how valuable Michael was but they couldn’t have him around for always. Joan assured her when they went back to Wausau that she felt he would no longer be necessary. Few clients or customers realized she lived in Wausau. Most assumed she lived in Los Angeles, a rumor she didn’t dispute. They thought she kept the Wausau gallery for an inexpensive way to ship out her prints. She didn’t dispel that idea. She hadn’t let Allan promote that she lived in Wausau at all.

Exhausted and finally feeling safe in Graces arms she fell asleep. Grace sat there awkwardly on the couch for a long time just holding Joan. She was very frightened at the close call Joan had received in Sydney despite Joans assurances that the man was in custody and being prosecuted under the supervision of the mayor. Her arm fell asleep in it’s awkward position holding Joan. When she tried to pull it out from under Joan it was only held tighter. Finally Grace couldn’t bear the pain of it any longer and she woke Joan to put her to bed. Joan was so tired she wasn’t even aware that Grace undressed her and pulled the covers up. When Grace tried to leave she woke up enough to protest and Grace shrugged and stripping, joined her in the bed. Holding her close to her heart they both slept peacefully.

Grace left the suite the next morning after a hearty breakfast of room service with Joan. Taking care of last minute details with the wedding planner took most of their day. She and Joan parted to do their own errands. She saw several of their guests arrive for the wedding and she spent time greeting them. By the time she arrived back at the suite it was late afternoon. The door was ajar as she approached it and she stuck her head in and called out “Hello?”

“We’re in here” Joan responded and Grace found her in the bedroom.

What she found was similar to Los Angeles. Joan was hooked up to an IV drip. A Hawaiian doctor was bending over his patient feeling her pulse. No one else was in the room. The doctor turned to look at Grace as she entered. “Are you okay Joan?” She asked alarmed.

Smiling weakly from under the wet cloth on her forehead Joan answered “yeah, I’m fine. I wanted to be done with this before you got back.” As though that explained it all. As though you found her everyday hooked up to an IV.

“What is going on?” Grace demanded to know. Her face was a thundercloud.

“I got a bit lightheaded and the hotel doctor was kind enough to hook me up to the IV.” Joan explained.

“Dammit Joan, why didn’t I get called.”

“I didn’t want to worry you with all those last minute details.”

The doctor was listening unashamedly.

“Do me a favor in the future, worry me a little?” Grace gentled her voice. Shaking her head at Joan she went to sit on the edge of the bed and held her hand. Leaning over her she examined Joan’s face which was very white. “We’re getting married tomorrow, I have a right to worry.”

Smiling at her Joan nodded and removed the cloth from her forehead. The doctor removed the IV from her arm and bandaged the spot. Thanking him Joan watched him leave before looking back into the concerned eyes of Grace. “I’m sorry. Your right, you should be informed. I felt the same way in Los Angeles and thought I’d get it all done before you got back.” changing the subject she asked “well is everything ready for tomorrow?”

Letting the subject drop Grace nodded. “Are you up to dinner tonight?”

“Yes, I’m starved. I’m actually looking forward to it.” She smiled and avoided the worried look in Graces eyes.

The wedding planner had arranged an impromptu luau on the beach for them and their guests this evening. It had taken a lot for an ‘impromptu’ luau to be arranged but with these clients the planner had gone out of her way. The wedding was at noon tomorrow with the reception afterwards. By evening everyone would be on their own. Several guests would leave the following day but many had opted to take advantage of the trip and vacation there.

After resting an hour Joan got up to change into a Hawaiian shirt and shorts. She told Grace she would catch up with her at the luau and that she had an appointment. She wouldn’t tell her what it was either. Grace went to her own room to change for the party.

Joan hurried down to the hotel spa for her appointment. They had a tanning bed that she lay in for twenty minutes totally naked. After this quick fix she dressed and hurried to the luau. The tan wasn’t apparent yet but she had another appointment in the morning for another session before the wedding.

The luau was awesome. No one there had been to a real one before and everyone had a good time. Only one or two of their expected guests hadn’t arrived yet and everyone else was in high spirits. Toast after toast was drunk to Grace and Joan. Joan stuck to mineral water or orange juice as she didn’t want a hangover for tomorrow. Grace was suspicious as to the appointment that Joan had kept earlier but Joan told her she would tell her at the wedding.

~ CHAPTER 32 ~

The day of Joan and Graces wedding was simply beautiful. As most days in Hawaii were paradise this one wouldn’t disappoint. Joan kept her early morning tanning appointment and the two sessions produced minor results. She lost some of the pasty look that she had acquired on tour. She also had them clean her pores and exfoliate them. Refreshed she sat in the steam room for awhile and then had a massage. She arrived back at the suite to find Bryan nervously pacing there. She wasn’t late she still had a couple of hours. Evidently he had been sent by Grace to check on her and when she couldn’t be found it had caused panic in the ranks.

Laughing it off she gave him a package to give to Grace and sent him back to her. She went to bathe when there came a knock on her door. The hairdresser she had hired was there. Sitting there in her robe they unbraided her many braids together. The hairdresser waited while Joan took a long hot bath and washed her hair. It was the first time in over four years that she had seen it loose and it took some getting used to. The hairdresser brushed out it’s length. With the braids in she had known it was long but the braided lengths pulled them up and together. Unbraided her hair fell to mid thigh. The hairdresser exclaimed over it’s red brown color and length. Joan was lucky, heredity had blessed her with no gray hairs as of yet. Grace kept her blonde hair colored the same blonde over the years and no one could tell if she was hiding gray hair. The hairdresser helped her dress and again brushed out the hair. She rubbed it until it shone. Covering up her dress Joan applied her makeup and jewelry and applied her perfume carefully so as not to stain her dress. Slipping on her heels she was ready and none to soon as a knock at the door attested.

The hairdresser let herself out as she let Craig in. Joan came out of the bedroom and he stopped in his tracks. He too had gotten used to her braids and the site that greeted him overwhelmed him. This stunning woman was his MOTHER? Smiling broadly he told her how beautiful she looked. Blinking back tears she thanked him. Going to her room safe she took out the ring that she had ordered last from the jeweler. Handing it to Craig she warned him not to lose it. Laughing he told her she should have warned Aaron who would be carrying it down the aisle for her. He escorted her down a private elevator and hid her on one side of the chapel where the ceremony would be performed. She stood there nervously trying not to faint from it all. Her heart was beating so hard she could hear it. In a few minutes she would go out there and marry the woman she loved.

Grace had awoken early despite the party of the previous evening. She felt so good this morning that she was sure everything would go smoothly. Promptly at 8 the wedding planner arrived to help with the last minute details. Grace had already bathed and shaved. No knicks to bleed all over her gown or to jinx things. She applied her makeup carefully today. She brushed her hair out until it every lock was in place. Her careful coloring over the years made it look natural and soft. It framed her face beautifully. She sat there in her robe talking to the wedding planner. Bryan stopped by to eat breakfast with her. She asked him to check on his mother and when she couldn’t be found she became frantic. Suppose she had passed out from exhaustion or dehydration she phoned the local hospital to find out if Joan was admitted there or a woman of her description only to be told no. Grace spent a very worrisome time until Bryan returned with a package from his mother. She had returned to her suite and was getting ready. Annoyed Grace calmed herself to open the package from Joan. How sweet, a wedding gift. Opening it she found a large jewelry box that contained a pendant, earrings, a bracelet, and even an anklet, all of it matched her ring with the slender hands. The sapphires sparkled in their settings. It was a very expensive and incredible set. Grace was overwhelmed. A note was inside the lid. Pulling it out Grace read:

Something old, an old design

Something new, made just for you

Something borrowed, well that is up to you

Something blue, they are real sapphires

I love you, Joan

She showed the note and the jewelry to Bryan who helped her on with it all. He was adept at the necklace and bracelet but the earrings and anklet he let her do. She started to tear up when she saw them in the mirror. Bryan warned her that she’d ruin her make up and handed her a saphire blue silk handkerchief to ‘borrow’. Such thoughtful gifts so much work had gone into them. She touched her necklace and thought about Joan. She’d be married to her in about a half an hour. She went to get dressed and the planner helped her on with her dress careful not to smudge it with her makeup. She carefully dabbed on her perfume. Freshening her lipstick she was ready. A last minute touch to her hair and they left. She had to run back for the ring she was giving Joan, she had almost forgotten it!

Bryan escorted her to the chapel and put her in the room opposite the one his mother stood in. He took the ring to tie it to the pillow that Aaron would carry. The chapel was already full of family and friends. Signaling the organist he walked to his place. At the music both doors opened to the rooms on either side of the altar. The minister stood there waiting for the brides. Joan came out of the left side one and Grace was on the right. Looking straight into each others eyes they met in the middle. Aaron stepped up to where they stood facing each other, holding the rings on a velvet pillow. He had done this for his uncle Adam earlier this year and knew what to do. Craig, Adam, and Bryan stood across the main aisle. The chapel was small and the aisle not so wide. They were an impressive wall of men.

Joan was thrilled to see Grace walking towards her from her room. She looked beautiful. She had chosen a lacy cream colored gown of layers that flowed about her making her look angelic. It reminded Joan of something she had seen once on an old movie about a harem girl but it didn’t have that sleaziness. Joan wondered though if she had removed all those flowing lacy scarves what she would find underneath. The scarves crossed in front in a deep V. They covered her shoulders and V’d down over them to her elbows and a little below. It flowed halfway down her calves and her long legs looked incredible. Joan caught a flash of blue on her ankle. She’d worn all the jewelry! Her elfin grin was fixed on her face and threatening to explode into a toothy smile. She finally stopped fighting it and smiled beautifully at Joan. She looked into Joan’s admiring eyes as she came up and she met her in the middle.

Grace was sure her heart would cause an attack before the wedding had even started. When she heard the music start it was their signal to go out there and meet. When she caught her first sight of Joan she was sure her heart stopped for a moment. Joan had chosen to wear her hair loose. Not since she had first met Joan had she seen it loose. It was gorgeous flowing down over her back, her butt, below to her thighs. It’s color sparkled in the sun pouring through the colored leaded glass of the chapel. Joan had chosen to wear a silk off white gown that made her appear taller than she was. It was a simple cut but so elegant and sophisticated. As Joan walked towards Grace it was sexy beyond measure. It crossed in front over her breasts and made her waist look incredibly tiny. Her broad shoulders carried it very well without padding. It came to mid calf and her heels made her even taller.

The two of them complimented each other admirably. No one realized that they hadn’t coordinated their finery. They matched beautifully. Joan with her red brown hair loose. Grace with her blonde good looks. Many people that they had invited caught their breath as the two met in the middle.

The minister asked that they hold hands as he began the ceremony. Grace mouthed the words “your hair” letting Joan how much she liked it. Joan mouthed back “your jewelry.” Her eyes took in the earrings, the pendant. Her fingers could feel the ring. She didn’t want to lose eye contact with Grace so she could see the bracelet or the anklet. Grace drank in the details of how Joan looked at this moment and their photographer captured it all on film. The minister asked who giveth this woman meaning Joan and the guys answered in unison “we do.” Joan broke eye contact to look at her son’s in amusement. They didn’t sit down. The minister asked who giveth this woman meaning Grace and the guys again answered in unison “we do.” Tears sprang to both woman’s eyes. Joan looked again at her son’s in gratitude and they sat down smiling cheekily. She glanced down at the ring bearer and met the eyes of her grandson. He smiled and exchanged a wink with her. He’d been working on that wink for awhile now ever since Grace had taught him it.

The ceremony continued and it came time to exchange the rings. The minister leaned over to bless the rings that Aaron held up. He untied the ties that bound the rings to the pillow. The minister had Grace take her ring first to place it on Joan’s hand. Removing her engagement ring so Grace could slide the wedding band on closer to her heart Joan smiled as Grace repeated after the minister “I Grace Monroe take thee Joan Woods as my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness, and in health, until death parts us. This ring is a symbol of that eternal bond, never ending.” She pushed the ring onto her finger. Joan pushed her engagement ring in behind it. Then it was Joan’s turn. Grace removed her engagement ring and Joan took the wedding band from the proffered velvet pillow. Looking down again at her grandson they exchanged a smile as Aaron said “here you go Grandma.” People laughed around the chapel as his clear voice rang out. No one had had trouble hearing him or Grace in the small chapel. The minister said “Repeat after me” and Joan did “I Joan Woods take thee Grace Monroe as my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness, and in health, until death parts us. This ring is a symbol of that eternal bond, never ending.” She didn’t push it on Grace’s finger though. Grace had listened to Joans vows looking down at the ring. Joan waited a moment and Grace looked up as Joan continued “in the olden days a ring was given that had meaning. This ring that I give you spells out in stones what you mean to me. The first stone is a diamond, the second an emerald, the third an amethyst, the fourth a ruby, the fifth another emerald, the sixth a sapphire, and finally the seventh, a topaz. If you take the first letter of each of those stones you will find it spells DEAREST.” With that Joan pulled Graces hand to her heart and said “because that is what you are to me, my dearest love.” Then she carefully pushed the ring on Graces finger. Dumbstruck Grace stood there looking at the ring. Finally, remembering her part she put her engagement ring back on her finger. It fit perfectly with her wedding band which had a notch in it that allowed the flowing hands to hold the sapphire and nest it into the second ring.

The minister as well as the assembled congregation were all touched by Joan’s speech to Grace. Joan’s eyes had never left Graces as she told her the meaning of her ring. Tears sprang to Graces eyes and she tried desperately to stop them with the silk handkerchief that Bryan had ‘lent’ her. No one assembled had heard of the kind of ring that Joan had given Grace. The minister after a lengthy pause continued the service and pronounced them partners for life. “Ladies and Gentleman, I give you two committed and admirable woman. Mrs. Joan Woods and Mrs. Grace Monroe. Ladies you may kiss your bride.” Both of them looked startled to be addressed as ‘Mrs’ but then exchanged a grin as he continued. For the first time everyone saw them exchange a kiss. Many felt squeamish about it but after all they were at a lesbian wedding, what could one expect. Joan and Grace turned to the assembled congregation and the boys started to clap and cheer. Everyone took the opportunity to come forward and wish them well.

The guys each gave their mother a hearty hug and kiss. They took turns to do the same to Grace. Jane and Gwen hugged Grace and then Joan. They were both tearful over the ceremony. Joanne and several others told Joan how beautiful the meaning of the ring was. Many were truly touched by it. The photographer was catching it all for them. He took formal pictures of the two brides. The two brides with the minister. The two brides with the ring bearer. The two brides with the three men who had given them away to each other standing tall behind the brides. The two brides, the men and their spouses, a family. He took single pictures of each of the brides as well. Finally, he was done posing them and they could all go to the reception.

Joan and Grace didn’t really get a chance to talk until that evening. The reception was small and fun. They danced with each other, with each of the guys, with their guests. Joan didn’t sit down for hours. The food was fabulous, the conversations with the guests were exciting. Everyone had a good time. Finally at about five the guests started departing. Joan and Grace retired to Joan’s suite together. Grace’s things had been brought up by the hotel staff during the wedding and waited for her there.

Joan helped Grace carefully remove her dress and then Grace did the same for Joan. It was harder with all that hair but they managed. Grace was amazed at it and couldn’t stop playing with it. They both changed into their robes and sat down with a sigh. It had been an eventful day and it was only 6 PM! They discussed the wedding itself in detail, their feelings about it, their impressions. They shared stories from the reception.

It was after 9 when Grace mentioned the ring and how beautiful Joan’s explanation had been. Grace had been so touched she was still in awe of it. How incredible it all was. She stared at it forever feeling touched right down inside her heart. She felt slightly guilty as the band she had given Joan had been very simple. Joan assured her she loved it. She told her she didn’t wear rings often because of the size of her hands and she was honored to wear these. With love in their eyes, in their hearts, in their bodies they exchanged kisses. It didn’t stop at one and they consummated their wedding in that suite on that bed in Hawaii.

~ CHAPTER 33 ~

Waking up the next morning Grace lay there awhile thinking. I’m MARRIED! Did she feel any different? She’d never been married before so she wasn’t certain. She’d had offers back in college. Two of them. Even then she was pretty certain she was gay and was very glad she had refused them. Turning she looked at her bride of not even a full day. Joan was sprawled out on her side of the bed. Her long hair wrapped and tangled about her. She’d pay for that later Grace knew. Allan had commented on it saying they should get some new photos done of Joan with her like this. He wasn’t one to miss a thing. She looked down at her hand and examined her rings. How Joan had come up with them she didn’t know but she was thrilled that she was the recipient of them. This artist had expressed her love in a truly wonderful way, pieces of jewelry that were art. She could feel the love right down inside her heart. It choked her up somedays it was so intense and after their engagement it had only gotten worse. Now after the story of the ring yesterday she didn’t know what she would do with herself. She could feel her throat choking up already. Swallowing she thought of other things.

She thought about waking Joan and making love to her but knew that she needed all the sleep she could get. The tour had been difficult on both of them. Joan looked too thin, too pale, and too tired. The tan she had gotten from the tanning bed had given her some color but not enough. She’d doze off in a car at the drop of a hat. She would forget to eat if something caught her interest. Grace intended to take care of her now that she would be home for awhile. She knew though that eventually there would be other exhibits and things that would stress out Joan.

She was contemplating what they would do today the first day of their honeymoon when Joan woke up. She simply opened her eyes. She had caught Grace looking at her like this frequently and sometimes it unnerved her. Instead, this time she smiled and said “good morning” in that throaty morning voice.

Returning the smile and answering Grace asked her if she’d like some breakfast and what she would like to do today. She leaned down for a good morning kiss.

Joan said yes to breakfast and that she wanted to go sight seeing today. She’d already arranged for a car for them. Grace leaned over and picked up the phone ordering breakfast for two. Joan tried to get up but her long hair simply wouldn’t let her. She rocked back and forth and finally scrunched down trying to get up but she was trapped. Grace started laughing into the phone seeing her predicament and helped one handed the best she could. Joan finally arose and padded to the bathroom. She was brushing her teeth when Grace came in wrapping her robe about her. Grace offered to help brush out Joan’s hair and she gratefully accepted. If you did it in sections it wasn’t so bad. Joan had a lot of conditioner in it and the snarls weren’t too bad. The problem was that it was simply too thick and too long. Snarls often hid and pulled those tiny hairs at the back of her neck, annoying the hell out of her. They had just finished braiding one thick rope down her back when room service came and Grace went to answer it.

Joan came out of the bedroom belting on her robe as Grace was looking at the dishes. The bellboy had set the cart next to a table near the patio doors so they could look out and enjoy the beautiful day. Chatting, they put away most of the meal. Grace was pleased to see Joan eating as much as she, she wondered if Joan was even aware of it as they chatted.

Leaving the hotel Joan leaned over to a parking attendant and spoke with him for a few minutes. He nodded and ran off. Grace looked at her wondering but Joan didn’t say a word as they waited for a car to be brought around. People came and went as they stood there. A red Ferrari pulled up as they stood there and Grace stood there bemused looking at it until the attendant stood in front of her to hand her the keys. She looked at him shocked until she saw Joan standing there laughing at her. “For me?” she asked and the attendant nodded smiling. Joan thanked him with a handshake handing him his tip as Grace got behind the wheel. Sliding into her own seat Joan remarked, “buckle up!”

Grace couldn’t believe she was driving a Ferrari and in Hawaii of all places. It was fast, it was sleek, it was incredible! How exciting. People stopped to stare at them as they passed and when she got out on the open road she had a hard time keeping it under the speed limit. They drove for awhile and were talking when Grace noticed Joan had become quiet. She looked over and she was asleep. Shaking her head at her Grace mused about it. Here they were in one of the most beautiful spots in the world and she falls asleep. Grace drove for awhile and finally stopped at a roadside restaurant on top of a hill with an awesome view. The sound of the tires getting off the road and crunching on the driveway woke Joan. She looked around sleepily. “Something wrong?”

“No, I thought we’d stop for lunch.”

Joan looked at her gold watch surprised to find it was indeed after noon and was further surprised at the passage of time. They got out and went into the shack styled restaurant. Looking out over the ocean they ordered drinks until their seafood meals arrive. Joan was drinking orange juice and Grace was drinking club soda. Grace left to use the bathroom when a waiter came over.

“Ma’am” Joan looked up started as she’d been lost in daydreams. “The gentlemen at the bar would like to buy you and your friend a round of drinks.” Joan looked over at the bar and saw two good looking men that had to be in their forties looking at her earnestly. She smiled and told the waiter, “no thank you.”

She was looking out at the ocean again, you could hear the waves crashing far below when a shadow fell across the table. She looked up, shading her eyes at the glare of the sun. It was one of the men from the bar. Raising an eyebrow she asked “can I help you?”

“I was wondering why you refused our drinks?” he asked with a kind grin. He was even cuter up close she thought.

“Well to tell you the truth I’m on my honeymoon. We’re driving around and I’d hate to get drunk and drive.” She smiled back at him still shading her face.

“Your honeymoon? Wow, that must be exciting.” He had an off center kind of grin. He turned it on her. He must really be something when he turns his charm on the ladies she thought.

“It is” she agreed.

“Well, I don’t see a husband anywhere,” he looked around for effect “just you and your friend.” She could tell he thought she was lying or making excuses.

Just then Grace walked up. A curious look on her face. Joan smiled and said “here she is.” Grace sat down, a frown of puzzlement on her face.

The man looked at them for a moment. He didn’t get it and Joan hadn’t volunteered much. “So, are you interested in sharing a drink with me and my friend?” He directed the question to Grace.

Joan looked at her with a straight face. Grace could see a twinkle though in her eye. She looked at the man and said very nicely “No, but thank you for asking.”

He didn’t know what to think or to do. His friend came over as he stood there. “So, are we all going to have drinks?” He asked heartily. He threw a charming smile at both the ladies.

“I was trying to explain to your friend here that we weren’t interested. I thank you both for the offer. We’re on our honeymoon and driving around the island sightseeing. We wouldn’t like to drink and drive now would we?” Joan asked patiently.

“I don’t see your husband around” the first one said again. He still thought she was giving them the brush off.

“Let me introduce you to my wife” Grace interjected.

At the word wife the second guy had a look of dawning comprehension on his face and held up his hand “don’t bother. I’m sorry we interrupted your lunch.” Pulling his friend along they left them as the waiter came up with “What was that about?’ Grace asked her.

“Pretty much what you saw. Nothing more” Joan smiled at her. She felt so good. She was with the woman she loved, she was on her honeymoon, she didn’t have to worry any more about that damn tour. She could relax for the first time in months.

The seafood platter that they ordered had a variety of different choices on it. They tried many different tastes and the calamari alone kept them busy for awhile. It was very chewy and seemed to grow in their mouth despite small bites. Watching off into the distant ocean they decided that one of the days they would take a boat tour.

After their lunch they headed back to the Ferrari. All through their lunch the men had watched them. Both Joan and Grace had been aware of it and ignored them. Grace drove them out of there and down the hill back towards their hotel.

They spent the afternoon on the beach walking along. Occasionally they would run into the beautiful water. It was so warm. It reminded them both of Fiji. They ran into Joanne and her partner as well as Adam and Gwen. Keeping the conversations short so everyone could enjoy their vacation. Joan had made it clear, once the wedding was over the guests would go their own way.

That night they spent quietly in their room. Joan fell asleep on the couch and Grace read for awhile. Finally she woke Joan and helped her to bed. A fine honeymoon when my bride is sleeping all the time thought Grace with a laugh.

For three days they explored Honolulu. They took a helicopter ride around the island. A second ride took them to the volcano on one of the other islands which was just awesome. Joan couldn’t seem to catch up on her sleep. She was always dozing off it seemed. Grace wondered if she should worry or not.

Joan and Grace took a ferry to some of the other islands and walked and rode around them too. They looked at the vast sugar and pineapple plantations. Amazing how lush everything was. They took picnics in the national parks. Joan fell asleep one afternoon under the trees. She awoke to find Grace quickly gathering their picnic items as a rain storm swept down on them.

One night they went to a club. They danced until 2 am. Joan was really dragging after that. She tried not to show it but she was simply exhausted. She spent the next day sitting on the beach pretending to read a magazine and get some sun as she dozed. She convinced Grace to go shopping with Jane and Gwen. The boys had fishing to do. She awoke hours later to find a pretty rotten sunburn had gotten a hold of her. Her legs, her torso, her arms. Her face had been shielded by her hat. Annoyed she went and saw the hotel doctor and he gave her a cream. She was laying on the center of the bed trying not to move and smear the cream when Grace came in. She still had her swim suit on for modesty.

Grace, Gwen, and Jane were discussing their purchases. Jennifer was trying to get Jane’s attention. Finally, wandering away she came into the bedroom. Seeing Joan laying there so quietly she thought she had died. She screamed “GRANDMA!” The three woman came running and Joan moved, groaning loudly as she did so. Grace came immediately to the bedside “what happened to you?’

Joan groaned out “sunburn” and tried to rise. It was too painful and she laid back. Trying to hide her laughter the woman snorted. “Oh you poor baby. Can I help?” She looked up helplessly at Gwen and Jane who pulled Jennifer out of the room.

“Sleeping pill” Joans answer was short and to the point.

Grace got her a cup from the bathroom and the two pills necessary. In no time at all Joan was asleep. Grace wasn’t sure that Joan had really needed the pills but at least she wouldn’t be feeling the pain. She was pretty red.

Gwen and Jane were in the living room of the suite when she closed the door behind her. Asking after Joan they joined in her laughter over Joan’s plight. It really wasn’t funny but it was their honeymoon and she was as red as a lobster. The girls left and Grace settled in for a night alone.

Joan was better the next day. A good nights sleep from the pills and the cream had done wonders. She was a bit stiff but could at least get around. They decided to go snorkeling. The salt water on her burns wasn’t pleasant but she was determined to no longer be such a party pooper the remainder of the trip. In her opinion which she didn’t share with Grace, the honeymoon had sucked.

After a couple of days the sunburn and it’s pain faded leaving a darker and healthier tan. They decided to go parasailing. It was incredible rising up above the boat on the parachute. You could see forever. Grace wasn’t as enthused about that activity. Joan had to go first and after exclaiming over it and bragging about it Grace reluctantly did it. She was glad she did too. The scenery was breathtaking and you could see for miles.

Good news came midway through their second week. The auction for “Aphrodisiac” had generated world wide attention. The final bid which had been paid promptly came in from Japan for over $300,000. This made headlines in the art community. Joan remembered the gentleman because he had come to their exhibit and fallen in love with the painting. He’d been very persistant to have them sell it to him. They’d explained over and over again about the auction but he didn’t wish to wait. Joan was glad that he had purchased it as he’d seemed very anxious to acquire it. She didn’t know what his plans were to do with it but she wished him well. She briefly wondered if it affected him like it had others. She quickly squashed that thought, not really wanting to know.

One night before the boys went home they all had dinner together overlooking the terrific beaches. The talk between Joan, Craig, and Bryan was mostly about the foundation. This year had been particularly busy. For the second year in a row they had endowed Wausau Central. The endowment had been pretty hefty and the hospital wanted to give Joan an award but she had refused. Between her schedule and everything it just wasn’t feasible. To her a letter of thank you would have been enough. With Grace working there she didn’t want the people in the know to know of her relationship, she didn’t want it to affect Graces position. Breaking up their serious conversation on so beautiful a night, Craig announced that he and Jane were pregnant again and would have a beautiful baby late next spring. Toasts were drunk and jokes were made. Everyone was happy for them. Adam and Gwen waited until it died down to announce that they too were pregnant and expecting. Apparently Gwen had gotten pregnant on their honeymoon! Everyone was excited for them. A new round of toasts were drunk. It was a perfect ending to a perfect evening. Everyone except for the newleywed’s would be leaving the following day.

All too soon Grace and Joan’s last night came. They walked on the beach as the sun set. They kissed in the shadows of the palm trees as the ocean lapped at the shore. Taking off her sandals Grace talked Joan into walking in the water. Feeling mischievous Joan started a water fight that ended with both of them soaked. Their hair hung in tendrils, their shirts clung to their bodies. They were both wearing sari’s and these became almost impossible to walk in. Laughing hysterically at their condition they had to sit for awhile on the beach to catch their breath and hope some of it would dry. Luckily as they finally made their way back to the hotel they caught up some towels from the pool and covered up as best they could. They were snickering through the lobby, onto the elevator which fortunately didn’t have any other passengers and up to their suite. They burst into genuine laughter when they got back to the suite. Here they had looked so nice when they started out and now they looked like drowned rats. Taking off the towels they exchanged a look as the laughter wound down. Their blouses clung to their bodies along with the sari. It was incredibly erotic and they were both affected. They ended up making love right there in the living room as they peeled each others clothes off of their bodies. A pleasant memory of their last night in Hawaii.

They had to rush to catch their plane the next morning. The Ferrari was returned, their bags were packed. The hotel shuttle took them to the airport. Joan spent most of the flight to LA sleeping. Grace watched a very boring moving and drank more than she should have. In LA they changed planes to Chicago. They had to run to catch the flight and wouldn’t you know it, it was in another terminal. Their plane from Hawaii had encountered headwinds and been late in it’s landing. The flight from Chicago was turbulent due to storms in the Rockies and on the plains. Joan tried again to sleep. The alcohol that Grace consumed didn’t agree with a bouncing plane. She felt miserable. It was a long flight. The one from Chicago to Central Wisconsin was short and for that they were both grateful. Craig picked them up with his minivan and as they walked up to the vehicle Grace threw up. She’d fought it all through the Midwest on the planes but she just couldn’t hold it anymore. When Craig asked them in the car how the honeymoon was they both started laughing, remembering their last night. He didn’t ask anymore questions about it, preferring not to know.

They both agreed it hadn’t been their best vacation but it had it’s moments. The wedding and the reception was the best part but the last night was the funniest.

~ CHAPTER 34 ~

Grace went back to work. She was so happy. The chaos of the plans was over. Joan was home! She couldn’t remember feeling this good in a long time. Many people congratulated her. Everyone had understood that with the wedding in Hawaii that not everyone would be invited. Grace and Joan planned to give a party in two weeks to invite everyone who couldn’t come to Hawaii. It was a pretty busy morning and it was almost 2 before she had a chance to sit down for a sandwich in the cafeteria. She was reading some charts when she heard “may I sit down?”

Looking up she saw it was Beth. Smiling pleasantly at her she said “by all means.”

She and Beth’s friendship had cooled since the movies. Grace had decided to pretend it hadn’t happened but Beth couldn’t forget it. After she had left Grace she had convinced herself that Grace was secretly interested in her and just playing a game. She started following Grace around the hospital. At first Grace didn’t notice but when she did she found she couldn’t ignore it anymore. Everywhere she turned there was Beth. It couldn’t be sheer coincidence. Beth was what they termed a ‘floater’ nurse and had the run of the hospital but it was happening too much that Grace would run into her. Beth always had something to say to her too. It wasn’t just a matter of saying hello but she wanted a conversation each and every time Grace noticed her. Grace found herself avoiding her even. It got to the point where Grace decided to mention it to Beth’s supervisor. The supervisor couldn’t release details but she implied that Beth was becoming difficult to work with and disappeared frequently. Her job got done which was the bottom line but no one could find her half the time. Grace finally requested to the ER attending that Beth NOT work with her when she saw patients. This created a ripple affect and people began asking why.

Grace finally brought things to the attention of her superior. Greg was a nice guy. He really respected Grace and her abilities as a physician. He had been very happy to steal her away from LA Medical. He had been very surprised to find that she was gay. Such a waste he had thought at first, but then he had met Joan and thought how much they complimented each other. He enjoyed socializing with them. He listened to her complaint. She tried to be very fair about things but there was just so much she could excuse. He took another meeting with Grace and with Beth’s supervisor. There just wasn’t enough tangible evidence about Beth. The supervisor promised to try and keep a tighter watch on Beth but since she floated that was difficult to do. They asked though that Grace begin documenting these incidences. Grace found this to be a hassle but she understood, everything must be documented.

Beth was thrilled to see Grace sitting in the cafeteria. Normally she tried to see her somewhere in the hospital a couple times a day but it had been weeks since she had seen her. She heard that she had taken a vacation to Hawaii. There was a nasty rumor going around the hospital that Grace had married her lesbian partner but she knew that couldn’t be true. Going over to the table she asked to sit down.

“Well I haven’t seen you in awhile?” she began joyfully. Her eyes sparkled with her infatuation.

“I’ve been on a trip.” Grace tried not to divulge too much information about her private life at the hospital. She also didn’t want Beth to know anything more about her.

“I heard, Hawaii wasn’t it?” She smiled brightly biting into her apple.

“Yes. It was lovely.” Grace was thinking why it was so lovely. She didn’t realize her eyes became sort of dreamy.

“I’ll bet.” She enthused. “I’ve always wanted to go there myself, but on a nurses salary I don’t think I’ll make it.”

“Oh I don’t know, I’m sure if you wanted to you could make it.”

“So what did you do while you were there?” She asked.

Just then Graces beeper went off. They were paging her to the ER. She had to go. Beth watched her hurry away. She thought of todays meeting as a real triumph. Most of the time they’d only speak for a few minutes like this. This one though was very positive. It made her hopeful.

~ CHAPTER 35 ~

Joan couldn’t seem to settle into a routine again. She was antsy. She had been sending her sketches back to the gallery for months as the books filled up. Yoshi had delivered them all to Grace a few weeks ago and the stack was in the center of her studio. She paged through them. Ideas galore but no spark to get her into a painting mood. She had thought about painting all during the darn tour and now that she had the opportunity, nothing.

She walked around their property. She looked out on the river. Nothing ignited the spark to paint. Instead all that activity caused her to become even more tired which in turn depressed her. The really rotten part was that it affected her menstral period. She’d noticed in the past few months that it had become spotty. She thought that it was due to stress from the tour and the wedding. Then she figured it must be the change of life. She was 45 after all. She should make an appointment to see a gynecologist or general practitioner. She didn’t have one of her own though as she rarely if ever went to the doctor.

The mail came and Joan absentmindedly opened it all without reading the front’s of who it was addressed to. She accidentally opened one for Grace from the bank. Alarmed at what she read she reached for the phone. Asking to speak to the president of the bank and identifying herself got him on the phone immediately. She explained that Grace had received a very rude letter from the bank regarding some overdrafts. He tried to interrupt as she was a different depositor than Joan. Joan informed him quite sternly that Grace and she had just married recently and that she wanted to cover any overdrafts now or in the future on Graces accounts. He was to transfer $100,000 immediately. He valued Joan’s business greatly and complied most willingly. He put a note in Graces electronic file for future reference to anyone who happened on this account. Concluding their business, Joan rang off.

Grace came home in a chipper mood. She was coming home to see her wife. Smiling widely at Joan about that she discussed what she had done that day and asked about Joan’s day. Not wanting to bum Grace out when she was in such a good mood she told her she had walked about the property and looked through all those sketch books. Grace had put the pile of them in the studio so she knew that alone could take over half the day.

A week went by and still the sleepiness persisted. Mrs. Richardson asked her if she was okay, her weird eating habits were even weirder. Finally, Mrs. Richardson mentioned something to Grace. Grace came home early that day. She found Joan dozing on the couch downstairs. Something Joan NEVER did. Worried she convinced Joan to see a doctor. She made an appointment for the next week with a GP she knew at the hospital.

That night they took a walk together in the cold winter woods. Grace was talking that perhaps they should get a dog. Joan was enthused about the idea but didn’t want the hair. They discussed different breeds but left it unresolved. Instead they began talking about their reception party which was scheduled for Friday. They couldn’t have their own barbecue in winter but had arranged for a barbecue through the caterers that they used. Everyone was coming and looking forward to it. Graces coworkers, Joans kids, their friends. It would be a pretty good bash.

Friday turned out to be a great party. It had snowed and the kids sled down the hill in back of the chalet, a few adults as well. Joan turned on the spot lights so they could see and sledding continued until after dark. Grace wouldn’t participate as she was sure someone was going to crack their head on all the trees. The best path to sled on was their walkway but that led right out onto the dock and Joan worried that someone would go through the ice. Nothing bad happened but it was hilarious all the same. The sledders and the snowball fighters all ended up in front of the roaring fire with hot cocoa, hot cider, and coffees. Grace had even found a popcorn popper for the fireplace and it’s steemy aroma filled the room and enchanted the children. The house was really crowded. A few people who knew about the Jacuzzi’s and steam room were using those. It was hilarious to see people in swimsuits use the jacuzzi in the gazebo as they had to dodge snowflakes and the snow on the ground. Bare feet, bare legs, and other bare parts exposed to the cold air and the snow made for funny moments. Brrr.

No one noticed when Beth arrived. It had basically been an open invitation at the hospital to those who knew Grace. Who knew Grace better than she, thought Beth. She couldn’t believe the house though. It was incredible. She could imagine living here herself. She looked into everything. She even snuck upstairs to their bedroom and poked around. The studio door was locked. After seeing an eyeful though Beth left. She hadn’t seen Grace or Joan in the crowd.

The party broke up after 2. Joan and Grace made sure that no one drove who shouldn’t be. Keys had been confiscated and before they would be handed to people they made sure they hadn’t been drinking or that they had a designated driver. One or two objected but overall the party was declared a success. They found one guy from the ER snoring away on their couch in front of the TV. Waking him gingerly they found he had no ride at all. He didn’t have a clue who he had ridden with so they got him a taxi.

Letting the caterers deal with the mess, Joan and Grace went to bed. Joan was exhausted. Grace was pretty tired from the party itself but pleasantly so. They talked for at least an hour, catching up on who said what. Joan was sitting in front of the vanity removing her make up when she realized that the cabinet door was ajar. Looking inside, things were moved around. She was pretty consistent about where she put things so that she could find them again. Then she noticed that her perfume bottle was missing. It had been pretty full and at the price she paid this caused her some alarm. Turning to Grace she asked “have you seen my perfume?”

Grace hadn’t and she came into the bathroom to look over Joan’s shoulder. Joan told her what she had found. They concluded that someone had come upstairs and pawed through their cabinets. Grace found where someone had gone through her clothes but not Joans. It was kinda weird. What could they do though, they couldn’t accuse any of their guests. Annoyed they went to bed.

Joan met up with Grace for lunch on Tuesday before her appointment. They were laughing and enjoying themselves when Beth came up. Joan had never met her before and Grace introduced them. She knew that Beth was a friend of Graces though and had heard her mentioned. She was very nice to her and invited her to eat with them. Grace shot daggers from her eyes at Joan but Joan didn’t understand. Beth was delighted to join them. She chatted for awhile before someone from the lab came to get her. Her break was over and they needed her back there stat. Happily saying goodbye to them she went on her way.

“What was that all about?” Joan asked Grace after she left. Grace was looking at her strangely.

“Aren’t you wearing a bit much perfume?” she asked instead.

Puzzled Joan said no. She only had her spritzer left since the theft and had used that sparingly. She showed Grace her wrist and mentioned she’d just had a dab on. Grace was puzzled now. She’d been almost overwhelmed by the smell for a minute there, then it hit her. When Beth had come up the perfume smell had been very strong.

“Joan, I need to tell you something.” Grace began. She told Joan about her friendship with Beth. It had all started out innocently enough. Two people getting to know each other. Joan wasn’t concerned. Then she told Joan how she had begun to sort of confide in Beth about how lonely she had been while Joan was gone. Joan reached across the table and pressed the back of Graces hand. Knowing about Graces dislike of public displays of affection, she didn’t linger. Then Grace told her about the movie incident. Joan was now beginning to get annoyed. Grace continued telling Joan about the practical stalking in the hospital and how her boss and Beth’s supervisor had become involved. She told Joan how she felt uncomfortable around Beth now. She finished with telling Joan about the overwhelming smell of the perfume.

“So you think this nutcase stole my perfume?” Joan asked her. She hadn’t noticed the overwhelming smell since she was wearing some as well.

Shushing Joan as they didn’t call people that Grace laughed for the first time. Shaking her head at Joan’s outrageous behavior. Joan knew better. “Yes, I think we know the culprit. It’s not like you can buy that stuff off the shelf you know.”

Joan knew that all too well. She had called in an order yesterday and winced when they told her the total. She asked Grace what she was going to do. All Grace could do is report it but she was sure nothing would be done as they really had no proof. She’d write it down in the incidents reports she was writing but it wouldn’t amount to anything. Joan was annoyed that Grace hadn’t told her about this as it was going on, she understood though that Grace had known how much stress SHE was under and had tried to avoid adding to it.

Soon after Joan went to her Doctor’s appointment and Grace went back to work. They met up again that evening and Grace asked her how it had gone. Joan told her that they had took some blood, asked a lot of questions, checked that she had all her limbs. She hated hospitals. Grace laughed at her.

The next morning Grace was paged to Doctor Baird’s office. This was the doctor that had seen Joan. She found Joan sitting in the waiting room fidgeting. Surprised to see her there she asked what was going on. Joan explained that the doctor’s office had called and asked that she come in today. She had asked that Grace be paged. She didn’t feel good about this. For some reason she felt like they were going to tell her she had cancer or something. Grace tried to calm her down.

The doctor called Joan in and was surprised to see Grace there. Joan explained that Grace was her partner and that she wanted her there. He had heard about Grace having gotten married to her partner through the hospital gossip and tried not to show his surprise. He had just thought Joan was a referral by Grace and had known nothing about their relationship. He had them sit in chairs in front of his desk as he sat at it opening Joan’s file. Clearing his throat he looked up at Joan. She tensed for the news, still certain it was bad. It was bad, but not what she thought.

“Congratulations Joan, your pregnant.” He beamed.

Of all the news he could have given her this was never what she had expected. Having expected a cancer announcement at least, this was just as bad. She sat there looking stunned, blinking and said “What?” She shook her head as though to clear her ears.

Still beaming he said “yes, the blood tests confirm it. We’ll have to figure out how far along you are. You should have mentioned yesterday that you were trying.” His smile encompassed them both.

Grace was looking at Joan as though she had grown two heads or something. She didn’t know WHAT to say. Shocked was not the word.

Joan suddenly laughed weakly “okay, what’s the joke?”

With that Grace turned with a smile at Doctor Baird, this had to be some joke.

He looked at them puzzled. Shaking his head he said “it’s no joke, the tests confirm that you are pregnant.” Seeing their faces he realized something was wrong. “Don’t you, WANT to be pregnant?” He realized he might suddenly be treading on thin ice here when he saw the look that Grace gave him and then turned on Joan.

Joan was still trying to figure out the joke. Frowning she said “there has to be some kind of mistake. I couldn’t possibly be pregnant.”

Shrugging he said “well my tests confirm it.” He passed the paper to Grace who took it, reading quickly. The test basically said positive. She was stunned.

Now Joan was getting angry. This joke had gone too far. Suddenly she realized as Grace read her paperwork that it was no longer funny. Looking at the doctor she said “Something is wrong here. There is no way I could be pregnant. Not possible. I’m not buying into immaculate conception.” Her jaw was tight, her eyes were boring into his.

Condescendingly he answered “you do know it doesn’t take penetration to actually GET pregnant don’t you?”

She was really pissed now. She stood up. Alarmed Grace looked up at her. “Do the test again. I’ll pee in a cup. Take more of my blood” she pulled up her sleeve to indicate the vein where they had taken it yesterday. A bruise had formed around the spot the needle had gone in.

Shaking his head at her complete disbelief he said there was no point. The test couldn’t possibly be wrong.

Joan couldn’t remember when she had been this angry. She could hear the pulse in her ears. He was wrong. What was wrong WITH him that he couldn’t see it. Trying to think of something to convince him she looked around the room and caught Graces expression.

Severe hurt was on her face. It was something she had never seen on Graces face. Even when Grace had pleaded for an explanation all those years ago for the silence between them she hadn’t looked this hurt, this vulnerable, this crushed.

Furious that this stupid, idiotic doctor had caused Grace all this pain for nothing and that he refused to run his dumb tests again Joan turned on him. “Your WRONG!” she shouted. “THE TEST IS WRONG!” She was getting out of control and trying desperately not to. “THERE IS NO POSSIBILITY OF ME BEING PREGNANT!”

He looked at her like she was crazy. He certainly hadn’t expected this from his announcement. Seeing Graces face though he thought he understood. Joan must have accidentally gotten pregnant without Graces knowledge. An affair perhaps that she could not cover up now. He thought he understood her anger now. He tried to calm her down but his condescension fueled her anger and unable to stand it anymore she left the office, banging his door hard enough to dent the wood paneling.

Grace raced after her and caught up to her as the elevator doors were shutting. Looking up as they closed she saw Grace standing there. Seeing the devastation caused by that man’s carelessness Joan told her coldly through gritted teeth “HE’S WRONG!” and the doors closed.

Grace leaned against the wall. She WAS devastated. Joan had been hiding something like this? She felt as though someone were squeezing her heart through a straw. As though, someone had punched her in the gut. My God! She had thought Joan was overreacting when she thought it was cancer but to see her reaction when told it was a pregnancy caused her to shake her head at the memory.

Beth was watching her from the nurses station. She had just delivered some paperwork and happened to see Joan leaving Doctor Baird’s office. Her hair was so distinctive there was no one else it could be. She heard Grace calling Joan’s name down the hall but apparently Joan didn’t hear her. She went to talk to Grace when she saw her lean against the wall.

Grace looked up to see Beth approaching her with concern on her face. Not wanting to deal with her today she held up her hand and said rather abruptly “NOT NOW BETH” and with that she went into the stairwell.

Beth turned and went back down the other stairwell towards the lab. She saw Joan leaving the hospital through the glass enclosure of the stairwell and stopped to watch her.

Grace too had seen Joan running from the hospital. She saw her get in her Mercedes and sit there for awhile. Grace saw her look up and see her. What she didn’t know is how much Joan saw. She watched as Joan backed up and then drove out of the parking lot.

Joan rode the elevator down in a mindless numb condition. What the hell was going on? What was she going to do? She couldn’t possibly be pregnant. There hadn’t been a man in her life that way since her marriage some years before. It had been more than 20 years. No way was this happening to her. She ran out to her car and sat there to collect her thoughts. This was crazy. She started to sob and then got a hold of herself. She looked up and saw Grace standing in the stairwell watching her. She saw Beth standing in the other stairwell watching her. The glassed in stairwells were side by side and built so it wasn’t a fire hazard with a firewall between them and they were completely separate. Neither of them could see the other but Joan saw them both. Thinking for a moment she decided to leave.

As she left she grabbed her cell phone and dialed 411. Asking for a number she had it auto dialed, the hell with the $1.75 fee. She made an appointment for a half an hour from now.

Joan made it to her appointment with 15 minutes to spare. She sat in her car for awhile and jumped a foot when the phone rang. It was Grace. The first thing out of her mouth was “are you okay?” Concern came through on the line.

“I’m fine” came the cold reply.

“Are you sure?” Grace asked. She was so worried. She’d never seen Joan like that. She wanted to help her, to hold her, to scream and shout AT her.

“Yes” came an even colder reply.

“Is there anything I can do?” Grace was getting angry now. She should be the one upset at Joan’s apparent infidelity.

“No” Joan waited a moment and then “look I gotta go, I have an appointment.” With that she disconnected the call and switched off her phone.

Grace stared at the receiver for a long time. She hurt so badly. She didn’t know what to do. She had called from her office and now she just sat in her chair staring out into space.

Joan went into the planned parenthood office. She was right on time. She had to walk past protesters who shouted that she shouldn’t go in there. Annoyed she brushed them off. She signed in and filled out the questionnaire. She waited awhile for a nurse to call her in. They took her height, her weight, and all the BS. Her paperwork told them she was there for a pregnancy test and they gave her a cup and pointed to the bathroom. For the life of her she couldn’t pee, she was so upset. Relaxing finally she was able to fill the cup to the required level but she got it all over her hand much to her disgust. She washed her hands and left the bathroom. She handed the cup to the nurse who directed her to a chair in a little doctor’s office. She looked around the cubicle. God it was small. She felt almost claustrophobic. She paced which took only a few steps either way. She looked up as another woman came in the room.

“Mrs. Woods?” she asked kindly. She was tall for a woman, at least 6’. She had blonde hair with brown roots. Sunbleached it looked like. Her eyes were warm and brown. She had a strong narrowed face that came to a dimple on her chin. Her jawline showed a stubborn disposition.

“I’m Ms Woods” Joan automatically corrected her after a lifetime of correcting people on the MS.

Smiling the doctor introduced herself. “Hello, I’m Doctor Kim Warner. I understand your here for a pregnancy test?”

“Yes” Joan answered. She’d stopped her pacing and stood defiantly in the middle of the room.

“Could you sit here please” she indicated the exam table “so we can get some more information while they get me the results?”

“I don’t need an exam” Joan told her rudely. Her nerves were a bit frayed.

“No, not for an exam. Just a place to sit while we talk” she answered kindly. Boy, this woman was taunt. Looking at Joan’s gorgeous hair that was in a single braid she commented on it. She told Joan how beautiful it was, trying to put her at ease.

Joan was stiff and it was visible. She thanked the doctor and proceeded to answer her questions. When it came to the question as to why she thought she was pregnant she answered “I don’t” rather harshly.

Not the answer she was anticipating the doctor asked her “then why were we giving you a pregnancy test?”

Sighing Joan closed her eyes for a moment. The stress of the last hour was getting to her. She was about to answer when there was a knock on the door and the nurses head popped around the edge asking for the doctor.

Doctor Warner gave Joan a sorry smile and said “Excuse me, I’ll be right back.”

Joan hopped off the table and began pacing again. It took the doctor awhile before she returned. Apologizing she explained that they were short on staff and she was doing more than one persons job. All the fun of working here.

Joan stood again in the middle of the room listening but not really hearing. Where were the results of the test? My gawd, 20 years ago the tests only took 5 minutes. Expressing her frustration she asked the doctor about it.

Taking a paper she was holding she looked down and then back at Joan “the test shows negative.” She didn’t smile, not sure if Joan would be happy or not at the news. She was behaving oddly. She wasn’t the sort of person they normally got in here. Her clothes were too expensive. She happened to see Joan pull up in her Mercedes. A car that wasn’t but a few years old. It probably had cost more than her annual salary.

Joan looked relieved and asked “could I have a copy of that and does it have my name on it?”

An odd request the doctor hedged “well we don’t normally give out patients confidential paperwork to anyone.”

“But it’s mine right?”

“Well, technically it’s about you but it’s the clinic’s paperwork.”

“Look, I just want a copy of the paper saying that I am NOT pregnant.” Joan was so relieved that is showed on her face. Her voice had changed from the tight sound to a calm rational one.

“Perhaps Ms Woods you should explain what’s going on?” Dr. Warner’s job was to treat on many levels. This patients demeanor had alarmed her. At finding out she was not pregnant she had totally relaxed. She was behaving very oddly.

Joan went to tell her when the nurse, yet again popped in. Apologizing, Dr. Warner left again. Joan sat there. She knew it. She knew something was wrong at the hospital. She realized it couldn’t have been an elaborate joke from the actions and reactions of both Grace and Dr. Baird. Thinking about it made her angry again though. The arrogance of Dr. Baird to not believe her and order new tests. The hurt on Graces face.

Dr. Warner returned apologizing again. She was sorry but a machine had broken down and she knew it’s personality. “Getting back to where we were, could explain to me what is going on?”

So Joan did explain. She told of her fatigue, how severe it had been, how it screwed up her work. She told about her periods and how they had become spotty, she figured she was going through the change. She told how she had gone to the hospital for tests only to be told that she was pregnant which she KNEW wasn’t a possibility.

“How do you know you couldn’t be pregnant?” Dr. Warner asked.

Deciding to be candid Joan answered “I haven’t been with a MAN in over 20 years.” She stated it simply.

Puzzled at the story thus far Dr. Warner mused “then why would you get a positive at the hospital?”

“I don’t know. Look, I’m exhausted. I just got back from my honeymoon a couple of weeks ago...” At this the doctor interrupted.

“Honeymoon? I thought you said you hadn’t been with a man?” She didn’t understand.

Laughing a little Joan explained “I was on my honeymoon with my WIFE.”

It took Dr. Warner a count of five to go “Ohhh, your ...” as Joan nodded. Now she understood. Laughing along with Joan she still couldn’t see why the hospital tests had come up positive.

Joan asked her if her tests here at the clinic could be wrong. Dr. Warner assured her they couldn’t. “We don’t have laboratory facilities here but the tests we did on you are accurate.”

“Is there anyway I could get a blood test to prove the same thing?”

The doctor told her they could draw the blood but that it would have to go out to a lab and would take two days for the results. Joan didn’t want to wait that long. She asked what did they do in an important case when they needed the results right away. The doctor told her they sent the blood to the hospital lab. While she was pondering this the nurse interrupted again to ask the doctor something.

Joan waited patiently as the doctor answered and then unable to help herself, Joan asked the doctor about the problems in the clinic. The doctor explained that they were so underfunded that they’d had to let some of the staff go. They were under the same regulations as Planned Parenthood. They weren’t officially part of that organization though. It had been thought that their area was too small for the office. When Planned Parenthood had left she had come and started her own non profit business using the same building and leaving the sign on it. They were understaffed, overworked, and slowly going under.

Joan’s heart went out to the hard working doctor. After her recitation she said hang on a moment and left the office. She returned with a copy of Joan’s chart and handed it to her.

Then she told her of another office that did have a lab where the bloodwork could be done TODAY. She went to the wall phone and punched in some numbers. Speaking to someone she arranged for Joan to have the bloodwork done in an hour. Sitting back down she told Joan that a friend of hers ran a small practice over in Wittenburg and that she’d have her results today. She wrote down the directions for Joan. Then she asked if there was anything else she could do.

Joan took a deep breath. She was so grateful to this beautiful and kind doctor. Thinking quickly she said “can I make a call in here with my cell?” At the doctor’s nod Joan pulled out her phone and hit the auto dial.

She got a hold of Craig and told him that she wanted the foundation to messenger a check for 250 immediately down to the old planned parenthood building. Looking down at her chart with it’s address across the top she gave that to him. She told him in no uncertain terms to get it done now.

Puzzled Dr. Warner watched while this eccentric woman called out orders on her phone. She turned to finish up making her notes on the chart, taking advantage of every available free moment. She had no idea what the woman was talking about but when she heard the amount and the address part she listened in on the conversation.

Joan pushed the disconnect button and smiled at the doctor. She thanked her for her time and asked if she could leave. Dr. Warner told her she could. Joan gathered her things including the directions and left, thanking Dr. Warner again. The doctor watched her leave and thought what a different person that one was, well it takes all kinds, we get one or two oddballs a week.

Joan left the clinic with a bounce in her step. The protesters tried to once again stop her and pass her the literature they were clasping in their hands. She brushed them off and got into her car. She nearly hit one of those idiots.

She was over halfway to Wittenburg when her cell phone rang. Pushing the speaker button on the panel she hooked the line into her car. Graces voice came through her speakers.

“Joan, are you okay? Where are you?” Grace was very worried.

“Grace,” her voice sighed as though in an exhalation “I’m fine. I have another appointment. I have to go.” She reached to disconnect and Graces voice stopped her.

Frantic she yelled “WAIT! What’s going on Joan? What are you doing?”

Joan was picturing Graces hurt face. It made her heart hurt. It had been tortured. The hurt, the betrayal of it all, it tore at her. Fighting back immediate tears Joan answered “I’ll tell you later okay?”

Grace could hear the tears in Joans voice. Not knowing the cause she assumed the worst “Your not getting an abortion are you?”

Angry at this assumption of guilt and upset over what she had already been thinking Joan snapped her reply “None of YOUR business. Goodbye, Grace.” All the coldness, all the fury was back in her tone as she hung up and turned OFF the phone. She WAS angry. That Grace would have no faith in her about this. She shook her head and talked to herself the rest of the way to Wittenburg. Still angry she missed her exit and had to turn around.

Grace again stared at her phone. She’d been trying for over an hour to get through but could tell that Joan must have turned it off. Sitting there in her office she had just kept hitting the redial button every few minutes. She had been surprised when it actually rang through. When she hung up her phone she was no better off than before when she hadn’t been able to get through. Instead she felt worse. She could hear that Joan was upset. These appointments that she was supposedly going to. She was convinced that Joan was frantically trying to arrange an abortion. Disappointment at Joan’s betrayal pounded on her heart. What had happened? Then she had a thought. Joan had told her about Sydney and the man who attacked her. What if Joan had actually been raped? Perhaps Joan had omitted telling her to protect Graces feelings. Now, ashamed, she was going to solve the problem the only way she could think of. Yes, that had to be it. Didn’t Joan know how much Grace loved her? Didn’t she know how much she cared? Trust could be such a tricky thing but my gawd, they were married! She remembered back to the conversation they once had about Joan having a child for them. Remembering Joan’s stand on the issue she was positive Joan would go through with the abortion. She was going to be a grandmother again four times over by summer. She wouldn’t want a child at this stage in the game. Hurt, overwhelming hurt hit Grace like a knife. She sat there curled up in her chair wanting to cry but too hurt to do so. Her office door was locked and her phone on do not disturb.

The doctor in Wittenburg was in a dinghy office. Joan was sure at one time this place had to be a mechanics garage or gas station. It gave her the creeps but she was surprised to see the state of the art lab. Obviously this doctor didn’t spend money on anything but his lab. She thought to herself that he might just be a mad scientist as he took her blood. He let her watch as he processed it to confirm that indeed she was NOT pregnant, no chance of it, however she was a bit anemic. Thanking him, she took the paperwork that told her this. She paid his bill and left.

She was so relieved to have two doctors confirm things that she was practically floating back to Wausau. Before she knew it she was home. She went inside and sat on her bed thinking about the events of the day. The two papers she had would prove her innocence but what the hell had happened at the hospital. That incident could irreparably harm her relationship with Grace. How could it have happened?

She remembered something. The vision of Grace and Beth in the stairwells. Suddenly she remembered something else Grace had told her. Reaching for the phone she dialed Craig and asked him to fax over some paperwork. It was an odd request but as the foundation was hers he complied. He asked if there was anything else he could do to help and she told him no. She heard the bell on her home fax machine. She went into her studio and watched the paper fax out. It didn’t take long to have the names she wanted. She called one and arranged for an appointment, today, within the hour. She also requested that certain people be at the meeting. She named their titles and a couple of names. A total of four additional people. Her eyes narrowed in contemplation of THIS meeting.

She stopped in the bathroom to freshen up. Looking at her spritzer she was perturbed. Her perfume was very expensive and made just for her. In the years since the spa had helped her she had become a very confidant, very striking woman. She was ready for this meeting. She still had to tell the butterflies in her stomach though. She thought she might throw up. She went downstairs and grabbed a banana. Mrs. Richardson asked if she wanted lunch but she shook her head. She was lost in thought. Knowing better than to push it Mrs. Richardson watched her employer for a moment. Then she asked if she was okay. Joan smiled wryly as she finished the banana, yes thank you she was. Grabbing an apple as she left she gathered up her papers and put them in her purse. Putting on her coat she grabbed her gloves and her keys and went out the door.

~ CHAPTER 36 ~

Graces pager went off. She ignored it. It went off again. She ignored it. After the third time it went off she heard a pounding on her office door. Standing up she read her pager as she went to open the door. About to pound on it again Greg stood there with his hand raised. Her pager in hand Grace looked at him.

“Where have you been?” He asked.

“Right here. Why what’s up?” She asked him.

“I’ve been paging you. Didn’t you hear it?” He saw the pager in her hand and frowned. Shaking his head he said “there’s a meeting that’s been called. You were specifically requested to attend with me. Come on or we are going to be late.”

Grace knew if she was specifically asked to attend a meeting she couldn’t refuse. Trying to think of why she would be called on the carpet she wasn’t about to ask. Her boss had paged her and she hadn’t answered that page, she wasn’t going to add fuel to THAT fire.

They walked up to the director’s office. The DIRECTOR’S OFFICE? Grace was wondering what in the world was going on. Greg held out a chair for her and then sat next to her. The lab chief was there and then Dr. Baird walked in. What the heck? Grace had little if anything to do with these particular doctor’s in the hospital. Why were they all here? She could tell by their faces they were wondering as well.

Dr. Anderson, the director of the hospital walked in escorting a brown haired woman. Grace turned to see who it was when her jaw dropped to see Joan. The director sat Joan across the conference table to his left. The four doctors faced them.

“Now, we can begin.” The director started off. He introduced Joan to everyone. Neither Dr. Baird, Greg, or Grace indicated that they knew her. The only ones who truly didn’t know her was Dr. Anderson and the lab chief, Dr. Eaol. Curious expressions were on everyone’s faces except for Grace and Joan’s. Joan pulled from her purse her papers and added them to a file that she had carried in.

Grace stared hungrily at Joan. She had worried herself sick all day about her and there she sat coolly in her expensive Italian suit. She could feel herself getting angry.

Joan could see the hurt on Graces face but could do nothing. Watching her out of the corner of her eyes as she was introduced to the other doctors she saw the anger begin and misinterpreted it. Using her own anger at this she funneled it to use in her presentation.

Dr. Anderson explained that Joan was THE Woods of the Woods Foundation and had asked for this meeting to bring attention to a matter that concerned them all. Smiling at Joan he turned the floor over to her and she stood up.

“Yesterday a patient came to this hospital complaining of fatigue. She went to see a doctor about it and he drew blood to run some tests. He called her the next day to come in for a consult to tell the results of those tests that were run in our lab right here at the hospital. Those tests were wrong.” Joan smacked the file in front of her.

Thinking he knew why HE was here Dr. Baird attempted to interrupt. At Dr. Anderson’s warning he shushed.

“The patient requested that the tests be redone and was refused. She was told that they couldn’t possibly be wrong. Tests outside this hospital today proved that the original tests WERE wrong.” Her glance included Dr. Baird and Dr. Eaol. She pulled the two papers from the stack in front of her and put them in front of the stack. Dr. Baird reached for them but she put her hand on them shaking her head.

“Further research indicates that a person working in the lab had access to these tests, had motive, and possibly did manipulate the results.” She pulled another paper from the file in front of her and laid it out.

“I’m here to ask you doctor’s” with this her cold glance included Dr. Anderson. “How such incompetence can occur?”

Dr. Anderson was alarmed. That this had occurred in his hospital was bad enough. That this trustee of the hospital was aware of it was worse. That this generous contributor to the hospital could pull that funding at any time made him shudder. He gulped.

“Ms. Woods. I’m sure there has to be an error somewhere here that we can take steps to correct.”

Joan gave him such a cold look that he was sure they were going to lose the funding she had so generously provided them with in the past.

In her loftiest voice, the one she had learned to deal with the snobs in Europe that she had to associate with she answered him “Dr. Anderson. I WAS THAT PATIENT. I was told this morning by Dr. Baird here that I was pregnant. Which I assure you isn’t possible given my homosexual status.” He sat there stunned at that news although which news stunned him more he wasn’t quite sure. “I requested a second test and was refused. I have two doctor’s reports,” she indicated them before her and handed them to him. “that indicated the falseness of that finding. One by urine, one by blood. What I am telling you,” she leaned over him like a dragon breathing fire “is that a nurse by the name of Beth Chappel was working in your lab” she indicated the third paper in front of her. A copy of a time sheet. “And she has been stalking my wife for quite some time and I believe altered my test results.” With that pronouncement Joan sat down.

Dr. Anderson’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head. He tried to talk, it took him several attempts. He was reeling at the news that Joan had given him. He looked about the table at the other doctors. Varying degrees of shock were on their faces as well. Finally he found his voice “well, well Ms. Woods. This evidence you bring us is compelling. My gawd, would this nurse really do this, worse yet could she?” He looked at Dr. Eaol.

“I don’t know this nurse that well. She’s a floater and only works occasionally in my department.” His thick accent made it sound like quite the announcement.

Greg spoke up “Dr. Anderson, I know of the incident regarding Miss Chappel stalking Joan’s partner. I wasn’t aware of this morning’s incident though.” He glanced at Grace before continuing “In speaking with Miss Chappel’s supervisor though I am aware of some disturbing work habits of this nurse.” Greg wasn’t sure what else to say.

“What about this request for a second test Dr. Baird?” Dr. Anderson asked.

“I felt it was unnecessary at the time. Upon reflection though I perhaps could have handled it differently.” At that Joan snorted air through her nose in disgust at this understatement.

Dr. Anderson turned to Joan, “Ms Woods. I can only say how sorry I truly am at the way in which you have been treated by this hospital. I can assure you this is not the way we do things here and is an isolated incident. I personally will take steps to see that it doesn’t happen again. Furthermore, I promise you that Miss Chappel will be dealt with immediately.”

Accepting that with much grace and dignity Joan thanked him. Shaking his hand she rose and left the room carrying her purse.

Dr. Anderson turned on the remaining four doctors at his table. “This is really a screwed up situation. Do you people realize WHO THAT WOMAN IS? How much she contributes PERSONALLY to this hospital? MY GOD are you people insane? Do you know what she could do to this hospital? She could close it. She has the power to do so. Yanking her funding alone could do that. Other’s would follow. Of all the people to do this too...” he shook his head regretfully. Reaching for a phone he punched in some numbers. He told his secretary to get legal up here right away as well as personnel and the supervisor for one Beth Chappel.

Joan went home feeling victorious. She hadn’t looked again at Grace once she had gotten rolling. She hadn’t been sure she could do it if she looked at her. She’d been precise and told it without a shake in her voice. She was actually proud of herself. She wished she could be a fly on the wall though after she had left that meeting. She got home and asked Mrs. Richardson to fix her a sandwich with meat, something she never ate. She asked for grapes and salad on the side and a large glass of juice. Going upstairs she changed into sweats and came back down. Mrs. Richardson laid this veritable feast before her in the alcove. Joan chatted with her while she ate a liverwurst sandwich. She never ate meat but this pasty stuff hit the spot. Laughing at herself she thought, perhaps I craved it. Finishing her meal she stretched and went out for a long walk. She returned to the house jogging and went downstairs where she proceeded to work up a sweat on their equipment.

Grace found her there pounding the hell out of the boxing bag and kick boxing it as well. She was saturated in sweat. She had stripped off her sweatshirt and only wore a sports bra and the sweatpants as she worked out. She had rings under her eyes that made her look a bit like a raccoon. She stopped when she noticed Grace. Grace had stood there a long time watching her determination on her face and thinking.

After Joan had left, legal, personnel, and Carmen, Beth’s immediate supervisor had arrived. Dr. Anderson had laid it all out for them. Repeating everything Joan had told them. He stressed about WHO Joan was and HOW it could affect the hospital. Everyone contributed, Dr. Eaol, Dr. Baird, and Greg all gave their input. Throughout it all Grace remained quiet, just listening. Dr. Anderson didn’t even notice he was so worked up. It was decided that they could fire Beth Chappel without notice for not doing her job correctly, as Wisconsin was an ‘at will’ work state. They had to be careful how they worded it so it wouldn’t come back on them in a lawsuit. Obviously fearing Joan more, Dr. Anderson wanted Beth GONE and today!

Leaving the meeting together Greg turned to Grace after everyone had gone on. He pulled her aside and said sarcastically “that was fun.”

She shook her head. She didn’t know what to say, what to do. All she knew was that she had to get to Joan as soon as possible.

“Are you okay?” Greg asked.

“I will be. Mind if I take off?” It was a little early but Greg nodded and let her go.

Grace never drove home so fast. She didn’t care if she got a ticket. She roared up their road and hit the button on her keychain for the gate, it closed behind her. She parked the Jaguar in front of the house and ran inside. “Is she here?” she asked Mrs. Richardson. Nodding she told Grace that Joan was downstairs. Grace headed for the steps throwing off her coat and her purse down on the way, she peeled off her suit jacket as well. She stopped on the landing to watch Joan work out. She hadn’t seen Joan work out like this in a long time. Usually when Joan was angry, upset, or frustrated she tried to take her artistic temperament out on the bag instead of the people around her. Joan looked up as Grace came downstairs.

Staring silently at Grace, Joan began to take off her gloves. Wiping the sweat from her brow she looked down to get them off. Another look at Grace and she walked towards her. Grace sat on one of the steps as Joan came towards her. She didn’t say a word, just watched her. She kept her face devoid of expression.

Licking her lips Grace started “what can I say.” She shook her head and bit her lips. Tears were in her eyes. “I don’t think saying sorry would cover any portion of what happened today but I am you know. Very sorry.”

Joan just looked at her silently. She let regret enter her eyes, regret and disappointment. She sighed. She was just so very tired. She looked down. Her emotional ups and downs today had given her a rush that she had taken the edge off by working up a sweat. Now that the rush was gone, she was exhausted again. Lost in her thoughts she didn’t realize Grace was waiting for her to say something.

“Joan” she looked up again. Grace sighed. “When I heard you were pregnant” Joan’s eyes flared. Not to be denied Grace continued “I felt hurt and betrayed. I worried about you, seeing your reaction. Then unable to reach you I assumed the worst.” She gulped, almost unable to go on. She felt so bad. “I don’t know if you can forgive me for what I believed, for doubting you, but you have to understand that I thought you had been raped by that guy down in Sydney.” At this Joan started turning red in anger. “I thought you had lied to me about what happened there. You’ve been so tired for so long that I thought a pregnancy would explain it all.” Her eyes pleaded with Joan to understand, to forgive. “Then I thought you were getting rid of it. I remembered our conversation that one time about having children. I knew you didn’t want more. I would want your child though and I was frantic.” Joan looked at her speculatively now. “You can’t believe how amazed I was seeing you come into that conference room with Dr. Anderson. I still can’t believe what Beth did to you, to US. You were so cold, so articulate in that room.” she shook her head remembering it. She finished “they fired her you know.” Joan sighed at that.

She sat down on the step next to Grace. Grace moved over to make room for her. Grace bobbed her head down to look at Joan’s face. Joan was looking down at her hands held out in front of her. Biting her lip, Joan wasn’t sure what to reply. Baring her soul wasn’t her forte. Finally unable to stay silent anymore Grace pleaded “Joan?” Joan raised her head to look at Grace, there were tears in her eyes. Tears? Joan never cried. Shaking her head to clear the tears Joan said simply “I’m glad” She leaned her head on Graces shoulder and Grace wrapped her arms around her. Joan closed her eyes and sighed deeply. What could she say? Both of them had been through hell today. They sat there for half an hour before Joan yawned widely and said “I better wash up and get to bed. I’m tired.”

Smiling Grace agreed. Joan was really sweaty. Her sweat had ruined Graces silk blouse but she didn’t care. Joan wasn’t angry. She wasn’t hurt. She was here. That had been part of Grace’s fear that Joan would want a divorce now or would leave. The amount of stress that they had both been under today could have done it. They walked upstairs arms across each other’s waists. They continued on the stairs leading to the bedroom. Joan dropped her arm to remove her sweats. Going across the hall she finished stripping and put it all right into the washing machine. Her jogging bra as well as her panties and socks. Her shoes she had kicked off in the bedroom. She started the load. Turning, naked, she saw Grace changing out of her suit from work. The jacket had been removed before and she was removing the sweat stained blouse. Joan headed for the shower. Grace stuck her head in less than five minutes later and asked if she could join her. Joan moved over and turned on more shower heads. Grace began to massage Joan’s neck. Joan stretched and arched into Graces soothing hands enjoying the sensation. Twenty minutes later all signs of sweat were gone and Grace turned off the shower. Joan was almost asleep on her feet. Grace took her hand and grabbed a bath sheet. Enveloping Joan in it she grabbed another for herself and a bath towel for Joan’s hair. Her own hair dripped into the bath sheet she wore. Pulling Joan to the bed she sat her on the edge and proceeded to rub her hair until it was only damp and no longer saturated. Joan just let her. She was so very very tired. Between the hot shower and Graces massage she was so very very relaxed too. Finally, Grace pulled down the comforter and sheet and put Joan to bed, bathsheet and all. She was asleep in minutes. Grace turned out the bedside lamp and got up to put her nightgown and robe on. She toweled her hair fairly dry and quickly brushed it out. Leaving the door closed behind her she left Joan to sleep in the quiet room.

~ CHAPTER 37 ~

Bryan was having a stressful day. A project he was working on for the foundation and hence his mother had fallen through. He’d worked hard on it and to have it disintegrate before him was frustrating. Not to mention the valuable hours of work it wasted. He was going over the last of the paperwork to close the file on it when Craig stuck his head in his office.

“Hey, yo, you got a minute?” He smiled as he came in.

“Yes, I have all the time in the world apparently.” He muttered.

“Someone pee in your cornflakes this morning?” Craig inquired cocking his head sideways as though it were a perfectly reasonable question.

“The Tolber deal fell through, completely.”

“No hope?”

“None.”

Craig knew hard Bryan had worked on it. He too had many deals that had gone sour over the years. “That sucks.”

“Yea, doesn’t it.” Bryan shook his head. He knew his mother didn’t need or want the money it would have generated but he had wanted the deal to succeed for his own self, not financially but for the skill of his own talents. “Was there something you wanted?”

“Oh, yeah, right. Say Mom called and she wants a check taken over to this clinic on 5th street. It’s kinda late in the day, could you take it?”

“Reduced to messenger boy eh?” Bryan laughed.

“Well, you are kinda small, kinda puny ya know.” Bryan was 6’3” to Craig’s 6’5” and he’d never let him forget it.

“Okay, I want to get out of here early anyway. What’s the check for?”

“Not sure, Mom called, I obey. You know how it is. She said to give it ONLY to a Dr. Warner.”

“New, pet project?”

“Don’t know, don’t care. I arranged at the bank for you to pick up the cashier’s check okay?”

“Will do, see ya” Bryan picked up his coat and briefcase. He was wearing a nice Italian suit his mother had sent from Rome. He’d had it altered so it fit him very well. His camel colored coat accented it nicely. His red brown hair glinted in the sunlight.

Bryan drove to the bank in his BMW. It was sleek and very powerful. He enjoyed it. It had been his first major purchase and he was still paying on it but it felt GREAT. He’d liked seeing them on the Autobahn in Germany and had it in his head that it was the car for him since. After six months of working at the foundation he felt he had a pretty good down payment and went for it. He was living rent free in Adam’s old townhome and it suited his needs. His expenses weren’t plentiful. The bank manager must have been alerted as he walked in the bank. He was walking across the lobby quickly, hand held out to shake Mr. Woods hand. Normally they sent some underling to handle things like this but Mr. Woods had come himself? It must be important. Of course they had the check ready for him. Handing it to Bryan they shook hands and Bryan signed for it and then examining the check put it in his coat pocket and was on his way.

It took him awhile to find the address that Craig had hurriedly written down. Twice he turned around, sure he was wrong. He was about to call Craig when he saw the faded planned parenthood sign. He also saw the protesters. Something told him this HAD to be the address. His mother could find more sad causes, he shook his head. Parking, he had to negotiate around the protesters who shouted things at him. He ignored them. They were entitled to their views and he to his.

Walking in he inquired about Doctor Warner and was told he’d have to wait. It was twenty minutes before he saw a beautiful woman in a doctor’s lab coat come into the reception area, clipboard in hand. It wasn’t for him though that she came but one of the half dozen women who sat around the waiting room. He was the only man sitting there. He read the months old magazines. One of them was even from last year. This was sad. He watched as slowly the people left the room one by one. Finally the beautiful blonde came for him.

“How can I help you?” The clinic was mostly woman and children and they rarely had men here except with their spouses or girlfriends. Men of this caliber, never. She had watched him each time she came through, he was very handsome and couldn’t help but notice him. His beautiful suit, his impeccable tie. She had noticed the BMW in the lot. Twice in the same day they got the richies, it must be raining.

“Dr. Warner?” He smiled, totally GQ as he stood up to greet her.

She was surprised to look up at him. Her own 6’ frame usually towered over everyone. It wasn’t too often that she had to look up. She found it pleasant. “Yes?”

“Is there somewhere we might speak? Your office perhaps?” He looked so pleasant.

Oh God, he must be an attorney. Yes, that was it. She was going to be sued for something. Didn’t people realize that she was trying to help? Her beginning of a smile faded as she indicated through the swinging door. She showed him to a tiny cubicle of an office. Most of her space was taken up by file drawers. He waited courteously for her to sit down before sitting down himself. His coat across the back of the chair hung carelessly. Gawd he was good to look at AND he had manners. Too bad she thought.

“Dr. Warner, I have been instructed to give you this.” He reached into the inside pocket of his suit to hand her a piece of paper.

This is it, I’m being served. The annoyance was apparent on her face. He wondered at it as she was really a pleasant looking woman if she wouldn’t frown so. Looking down at the paper she realized it was a check. When she saw all the zeroes she thought this was a fake check. Then she noticed the watermarks. If this is fake, it’s the most authentic fake I’ve ever seen. Looking puzzled now she looked up at the man before her. He sat there studying her as he watched her reaction to the check. “I don’t think I understand. This must be a mistake?” She tried to give it back to him but he held up his hands.

“No, I assure you there is no mistake. I was instructed to deliver that into your hands and only your hands.” He smiled at her puzzlement. Very charming looking.

She studied it again. It said very clearly on it Fifth Street Clinic and then below that Doctor Kimberly Warner. She looked for but didn’t find any small print on the check that if she cashed it she would be indebted for life. Looking up she asked “WHO ARE YOU?”

Laughing, this was what Bryan enjoyed about his mother’s foundation the helping, the giving. It was a challenge to make money but equally challenging was finding causes to give it to. “I didn’t introduce myself did I.” He smiled “I am Bryan Woods” her eyes flicked back to the check which was from the Woods Foundation. “I believe you may be acquainted with my mother, Joan Woods?” She thought for a moment and then realized the reason the name rang a bell, she nodded. “Well, my mother felt that you might have need of this.”

“There is no way I could hope to pay this back” she began.

Shaking his head he explained “none of the money is expected back. It is for you to administer as you see fit. If you’d like to buy a house with it, so be it.” At that she glared at him. He smiled before continuing. “You might want to fix your clinic up a bit though.”

Amazed at this turn of events she was silent for a long time. She couldn’t believe it. Things like this didn’t happen to her. They didn’t happen to anyone. No one just handed over a check for $250,000. She pinched her arm which he noticed and laughed with her when it hurt. She studied him for a moment, she liked what she saw. Finally, she thanked him. She asked that he thank her mother and tell her that yes indeed she would find a proper use for this money. They spoke for awhile, their conversation drifted from the money and to other things. Before she knew it over 45 minutes had passed and she needed to close up the clinic. She had been amazed that they hadn’t been interupted but then it was late in the day.

“Would you do me the honor of going to dinner with me?” He asked. He liked what he saw so far and he didn’t meet so many woman that he could pass this beauty up.

“I would think you were sick of talking to me?” She smiled. She liked him. She really liked him in the small amount of time she had talked with him.

“Not at all.”

“Well, I don’t have any fancy clothes I can change into, it would have to be casual.”

“Would Larry’s suit? I have a hankering for their soup.” Larry’s was a local chain of restaurants that served cheap but hearty meals.

Agreeing she went to get her coat. She turned off lights, locked cabinets and then the front door behind her. The check was in her purse. He escorted her to his BMW. The protesters had long since left. She had never had a guy tuck her into a car before and she was impressed. He solicitously handed her the seat belt before carefully shutting the door.

~ CHAPTER 38 ~

Joan awoke slowly. She could hear the rustle of a newspaper. Frowning she looked at the clock. She had slept a full fourteen hours! She felt pretty good but something was niggling at the back of her mind. Then it all came back to her. Everything from the previous day, her thoughts, her feelings and emotions, all of it. To try and change her thoughts from picking it apart she looked around the room. She saw Grace sitting in her bathrobe reading a newspaper in front of their windows. She looked back at the clock frowning.

Grace looked up as she moved “your awake?” Her voice was soft as she came to sit on the bed.

Nodding, Joan tried to sit up but she was caught by her long braid and it wrenched her head horribly. Laughing Grace helped her untangle as she sat up.

Cracking her neck to work out the kinks Joan smiled at Grace. The cracks echoed in her mouth as she yawned. Looking again at the clock she turned to Grace “Aren’t you going to be late for work?”

Shaking her head Grace said “No. I wanted to stay home with you today.” She sounded subdued.

Joan reached out her hand and Grace grasped it. Looking down at their hands Joan began discussing yesterday. She told her thoughts, her feelings, laying it all out for Grace. She told everything she had done. Listening to her Grace felt in awe of her. The power that Joan wielded so unconsciously was incredible. Grace wasn’t so sure she shouldn’t be frightened of it, but then this was HER Joan. When Joan finished she felt raw. Grace had asked a few questions and had given her perceptions about things as well. She repeated what she had told Joan the previous night as well as speculated about Beth. She told how she felt, now, then, and during. Joan didn’t say another word, just let Grace vent her own feelings. Finally Grace felt talked out and noticing Joan’s silence she too became silent. Unable to stand it too long she felt compelled to speak, she had to know. Did Joan feel betrayed, what now, could they just go on from here? All of that came out in a breathless jumble. Joan silently watched her. Grace felt uncomfortable and asked “Well, what do we do now?”

Joan’s expression changed with that question she looked intently at Grace and she simply said “Grace, make love with me.”

Suprised Grace looked back and forth between Joan’s eyes. They looked like they just might tear up but they were so intense, something smoldering there. She leaned forward and began to kiss Joan. Joan returned the kiss and reached for her. The bathtowel soon was slipped off of Joan. Sighs, murmurs, and moans could be heard. It wasn’t until they had both had their first climaxes that Grace realized it wouldn’t be enough. Not only she, but Joan was still tense and restless. Joan pulled at her frustrated, the climax hadn’t been enough to release her, her body was writhing in passion, almost an agony. It set Grace on edge as well. Grace reached over the edge of the bed and opened their toy drawer. It was much later as Joan was panting “Grace” over and over again that they both relaxed. Finally, recovering her breath Grace looked over at Joan to see that she was silently crying. Joan never cried. Whether this was from the most intense sex that they had had or from the tension of the last day she didn’t know. She gathered her close and just held her. She too felt unbearable relief and tears fell from her eyes as well.

~ CHAPTER 39 ~

The invitations had gone out and the Christmas party was all set. For the last two years they had a nice Christmas Eve with their friends and family and then on Christmas Day they had dinner with just their family. Grace would even be cooking the Christmas goose as they always gave Mrs. Richardson holidays off to spend with her own family. Grace was a good cook and enjoyed it. Joan helped and since this was one of the few times that she had to do this, enjoyed it. Together they had decorated the 8’ tree that Craig had delivered. It had taken all day and they were in good spirits hanging the ornaments that they had collected together. The stereo was cranked up full blast and they sung together off key and occasionally on.

Two days before she had gone to the spa and had her hair put back into braided ropes. She was used to that and could handle it easier. Brushing out the thick braid had given her headaches. She knew Grace enjoyed the luxurious length but to paint she needed convenience. It was that or cut it and Grace agreed that would be a tragedy. She looked exotic again as she had also gotten a tan at the spa. A carefully controlled tan. She felt good too. She tried to get Grace to go but Grace didn’t like the idea. It always seemed like too much bother. Joan found her beautiful regardless.

Coming down after getting dressed Joan found Grace had beaten her downstairs. She hadn’t seen what Grace was going to wear and she was literally blown away at it’s sexiness. Where had Grace gotten THAT. It was a silver colored gown that looped in a daring way in front emphasizing her breasts. It had spaghetti straps and a cinched waist. It hung down to her calves and fell away to show those gorgeous legs. She was wearing the jewelry that were her wedding present. Joan whistled when she saw her.

Grace looked up and laughed at the whistle only to cut it short when she saw Joan. The spa had done wonders for Joan, physically and mentally. The familiar braids had been twisted to create a winding look that was pulled back to keep it off her face. Her makeup was impeccable but could still not completely hide the deep circles under her eyes from lack of sleep that still haunted her. In her ears she wore dripping diamonds. Around her neck she wore a diamond set of necklaces that looked as though nothing supported them the gold was so fine, almost fishwire. She wore her wedding and engagement rings and a simple diamond bracelet. Her gown though set off her hair and figure. It was black in satiny folds. Grace could only liken it to something that Marilyn Monroe had worn in some movie. She quite took away Graces breath. Coming over to where Joan stood admiring her, Grace gave her a lingering kiss smelling her erotic perfume.

Greg and his wife Maureen with kids in tow were the first to arrive. Following them was Jason and his wife Linda who had a son that was friends with Aaron. The boys arrived en mass with spouses in tow, Aaron and Jennifer soon ran off after the other kids. Bryan had asked to bring a date and they were both curious as to this one. He brought dates to all their parties. A few other friends arrived and the party was in full swing by 8. Joan saw Bryan arrive but was called away by the caterer before she could greet him. Grace was introduced to his date and she found she liked her immediately. Everyone dressed for the party and the men in their tuxes and the woman in their gowns looked wonderful. Even the children were dressed up. Most of the children ended up playing Nintendo on their wide screen downstairs. Joan had added a few other video games for Aaron to play with when he was at their house and he shared as well as a five year old could.

Joan was talking with Greg and Jason when Grace came up and slipped an arm around her casually. This was new. They would occasionally exchange a hand caress or a hug in public but her arm around Joan was different. Joan looked at her curiously. Grace just smiled and joined in the conversation with the men. Joan relaxed and enjoyed. Drifting away after awhile to talk to Maureen who enjoyed Joan’s artwork and was always asking about it, Joan came face to face with Bryan. He quickly introduced his date who he had his arm around.

“Mom, I want you to meet Dr. Kim Warner.” He said it proudly. “Kim, my mother Joan Woods.”

Joan had been looking at the woman in studied bemusement for about 10 seconds before she recognized her from the clinic. “Welcome to our home Dr. Warner.” She smiled and shook Kim’s hand.

“Please, call me Kim. I thank you for having me. This place is incredible.” She had noticed the works of art displayed about the room. From seeing the catalog she was sure these were originals and worth a lot of money. The Ring that hung above the fireplace she had never seen before but thought it a departure from Joan’s usual work.

“Mom designed it herself” Bryan told her.

“Wow an artist and an architect?” Kim was trying hard to fit in. It was obvious that Bryan and his brother’s who she had met before this night all adored their mother. The way they talked about this woman you could not help but feel intimidated by her reputation. Kim had done some research on the internet and was amazed at the news articles about her as well as seeing some of the artwork that she had done. She’d even found a news article about the stalker in LA. This woman was amazing. She looked forward to getting to know her but was intimidated and unsure all the same. She looked incredible too. Her braids were to her hips and the style suited her better than the single thick braid she had seen her wear to the clinic.

“Bryan exaggerates. I drew it roughly and then we hired an architect to do the final drawing.” Joan laughed.

Kim soon realized that this beautiful exotic woman was very down to earth. She made Kim feel very welcome in her home. Kim wasn’t sure what she had expected after the visit to the clinic but a woman of all her accomplishments and achievements as well as her money she thought should have been a bit of a snob. She watched her with her grandson and granddaughter, amazed that a woman who looked as she did was a grandmother. She didn’t even blink when she saw Joan catch Grace under the mistletoe for a quick peck. It was obvious that she adored her family. She loved Grace. Joan asked her about the clinic and Kim enthusiastically told her all about it. She had sent a card of thank you for the check but felt that was so small in comparison to the gift. She told Joan all about the improvements. She told her a few of her fears as well. Apparently they had a new landlord and she worried that their lease might not be renewed at years end. Joan quietly informed her that she had arranged the purchase. The lease would be renewed. Kim was really thrown by this but was saved by Grace coming up to talk again.

Grace was an interesting woman in her own right. She and Kim had so much in common. They shared stories with everyone about being residents at their hospitals and they compared notes. She relaxed by talking with Grace, still intimidated by Joan. Grace and she drifted off and Kim was surprised to see The Grace. It wasn’t in the catalog but it was similar to one she had seen called Grace, Hope, Charity, Wisdom, and Compassion. She’d heard about it’s donation to LA Medical. This one though was simpler. Looking at it she realized it was Grace who stood next to her. Wow, a famous artist had painted this woman who stood next her as the model. Grace showed her others in the room including The Ring. She showed Kim the end result of that sketch on her finger, ears, necklace, bracelet, and anklet. Kim was impressed, even more so when the story was explained to her. To be loved so was incredible.

Bryan was very proud of Kim. He knew how she felt about his mother. She admired her but had been sure that Joan wouldn’t think her good enough for Bryan. She was a few years older than he. She ran a clinic. He had told her over and over again not to worry about it. His mother wasn’t like that. All his reassurances hadn’t worked. He’d taken her out dancing one night meeting up with his brother’s and their spouses. They all had a marvelous time. Listening to family gossip about Joan, Kim had felt even more insecure. The only way to get her over it Bryan felt was to get her over here to meet his mother. This had been the only opportunity. When Kim heard it was formal she nearly declined but Gwen went shopping with her and they found a modest but sexy gown that she could wear and afford. When Bryan had picked her up he was impressed and let her know it.

The party went well for everyone. Joan and Grace had funny thoughtful little gifts for everyone, nothing expensive but just the thought that counts. The couples with children left early in case Santa Claus should come. Once people started leaving though it became a constant trickle of good-byes. The caterers cleaned up the snack trays and meat platters. Joan locked up as Grace made sure things were cleared away. Grabbing her under the mistletoe for one final kiss, Grace wished her Merry Christmas. Joan pulled her back for another kiss to wish her a Merry Christmas. Smiling, laughing, they went to bed.

Christmas dawned with snow falling lightly about the chalet. Those big soft flakes that make the best snowmen. For once Joan awoke before Grace. Tiptoeing she took her presents and placed them around Grace. She wasn’t too quiet as Grace woke up. Smiling, she leaned over and gave her a big kiss goodmorning. Grace tried to pull her back to bed but she resisted and shoved a present at her. Grace said that they had to wait until she had gotten Joan’s gifts.

Joan gave her a book that she had been looking for awhile, it was in excellent condition and when Grace looked she found it was a first edition as well. Joan gave her funny gifts, practical ones, and one real special pendant. A sun moon combination that Grace had admired at the mall one day when they were out shopping. Joan noticed everything, Grace thought. Grace gave her her packages. Joan opened funny socks, a computer game she could share with Aaron, several beautiful blouses, music by her favorite artists that she never had time to shop for, and a weird kind of collar thing. Puzzled at this last gift Joan looked at Grace alarmed. They had never been into S&M paraphernalia and this looked distinctly like that. Grace saw her look and pretended she hadn’t. Cleaning up the wrappings from their bed, they quickly got dressed for their guests and to get the dinner going.

Craig and Jane with her bulging stomach were the first to arrive with Aaron and Jennifer. The kids were so exited at what Santa had brought them that Aaron talked for a full 10 minutes before he could be calmed down. Looking under Grandma and Graces tree the kids could see packages. Aaron even made out his name on a couple.

Adam and Gwen arrived half an hour later with her stomach bulging as well. She complained that Jane made it look easy and she was waddling like a duck already. They added packages to the ones under the tree.

Anxious, Aaron asked if they could open them NOW? Laughing they said they had to wait for Bryan.

Bryan arrived kind of late. Joan had just started to worry when the tone sounded for the gate and he let himself in. Carrying packages in his arms Craig rushed to help him remove them and carry them to the tree. He handed one large package to Grace and she walked over to Joan and said Merry Christmas a delighted smile on her face. Joan was taken aback as they had exchanged their gifts earlier and in private. Furthermore, they usually started with the kids opening a gift and then one at a time. Smiling confusedly she went to shake the big box but an alarmed Grace said “Don’t!”

Joan sat down with the package on her lap. The box moved on it’s own. Very clearly and distinctly the box shifted on it’s own. “What in the world?” Joan said as she tore the box open to find a black poodle puppy inside. “Awww” she said reaching inside of the box to pull the frightened pup out. Eager to please, it had been scary in that box, it quickly tried to lick kisses over it’s rescuer. Laughing at it’s antic’s Joan quickly held it close. Aaron and Jennifer made a beeline for Grandma and the puppy, exclaiming over it as it tried to kiss them too.

Craig watched his mother’s happy face and then his children’s equally ecstatic ones. He had wanted a dog for awhile but Jane didn’t want the mess. Looking over at Jane he saw her enjoying her children’s joy. Jane looked up at Grace and said “you know you started something now, you troublemaker you?”

Grace smiled and laughed with the rest. “They will have another excuse to come visit then won’t they?” There had already been trouble a few times with Aaron. Grandma and Grace had all the best toys over at their house. He wanted to always come over here whenever he could. They gave him undivided attention but didn’t spoil him. He loved this house. They would take him swimming in summer, they had the jacuzzi, the widescreen tv and games, and NOW they had a puppy? Wow, what a lucky grandma.

Jennifer gently took the puppy on her lap and started petting it. It had calmed down after it’s initial exuberance. She squealed loudly when it peed on her though. Laughing, Joan helped her up and picked the puppy off of her. Grace ran to the kitchen for towels. Bryan went out to his car for the kennel cage that Grace had bought and they set it up near the back deck. The kids would take the puppy out frequently that day and praise it for doing it’s ‘duty.’

Joan thanked Grace and with her eyes sent silent messages. She was relieved that the collar that she had received this morning now made sense. The kids for once didn’t want to open presents with the excitement of a puppy but Grandma threatened to give the presents to a charity and they quickly opened them. Each adult had given all the other adults at least one gift. Among the exclamations and surprise of each gift, Joan silently gave each of the boys an envelope. It contained equal shares of a vacation house that she had purchased for all of them in Barbados. Thrilled and overwhelmed at this gift they all gave her a hearty thanks. The present giving had come to an end and they all enthusiastically discussed vacationing down in the islands. Plans were tentatively made for spring or fall or next winter. Meanwhile, the house could be rented out to vacationers when they weren’t planning on using it themselves.

They ate dinner to the whimpering of the puppy. It didn’t want to be alone in the living room in it’s kennel. Finally Joan went and brought it to the table to scamper about their feet. As it’s rescuer it decided that she was it’s master and it sat at her feet adoringly. Finally, it drifted off to sleep, leaning against her feet it literally slid down them to sleep.

They ate goose and it’s stuffing. Cranberry sauce and ambrosia, green beans, carrots, and new potatoes. Rich creams and sauces. Grace had out done herself. She so enjoyed fixing it for her appreciative audience. They did enjoy it too! Everyone ate heartily, even Joan. They felt stuffed afterwards as they watched the kids play with their Christmas sleds and the puppy. Craig, Adam, and Bryan challenged each other to sledding races much to everyone’s amusement, but when Adam cracked one of the sleds and almost his head it came to a laughing halt. Joan, Grace and Aaron challenged the big oxes to a snowball fight and were soundly beaten. Joan pointed out that they were adult men and she and Grace helpless woman with an infant. Aaron who was five now protested at being called a baby. Jane and Gwen with their big stomachs and Jennifer watched from the deck with hot cider and hot cocoa standing by.

As the short afternoon became evening Jane and Craig bundled their sleepy children up and took them home protesting for the puppy. The puppy lay exhausted in it’s kennel. Bryan left a little early saying he had some things he wanted to do and friends to see. Joan wondered if Kim was the reason. Adam and Gwen were the last to leave.

Joan turned to Grace with relief. It had been a very full day for everyone. She told her how relieved she was that the collar was for the dog! Grace laughed at her knowing what she had been thinking when she opened that package. She took her into her arms and kissed her soundly. “What are you going to name it?” her head indicated the little ball of fluff in it’s kennel.

Joan hadn’t really thought about it. The kids had all referred to it as ‘puppy’ as though it were it’s name. She didn’t even know if it was a boy or girl. How unobservant was she. Yawning widely though she would have to give it some thought.

Most of the food had been doled out and given to the guys but the few dishes left they put away. They discussed various names and Grace revealed it was a male. Then after everything was put away, Grace handed her an envelope with the dog’s pedigree papers inside.

He was officially named “Sir George of Aberdeen, out of Sir Rufius and Lady Amelia.” Joan nearly choked. The dog had all this behind it and looked like a mop. Grace explained that Bryan had helped her locate a breeder of poodles. She didn’t want a yippy toy around and she felt a miniature would still be too small with the kids around. She was looking for a standard and Bryan had located this particular breeder in New York. Yes, there were breeders closer but discussing it with Bryan and seeing emailed photo’s of the parents and their pups they didn’t find what they were looking for until last week. This breeder was breeding what they called King Standard Poodles and hence the royal name of the pup. They were usually a couple of inches larger than a normal standard poodle. Looking at the little puppy sleeping Joan knew she couldn’t saddle him with the moniker on the papers. After awhile though with a smile on her face she found the exact name that appealed to her. She decided to call him ‘D.O.G.’ it sounded like deeooogeee when you said it correctly. Knowing Joan’s sense of humor Grace could only shake her head, she tried other names but Joan was adamant. So D.O.G is what the little black ball of fluff became.

Grace was worried. Joan still was having so much trouble sleeping. She was convinced it was a sleeping disorder brought on initially by the tour and continued on with the stress of the marriage and everything else. She wanted Joan to go see a specialist. Instead, Joan went to see Kim. After a lengthy conversation Kim agreed with Grace and put Joan on a different diet than she was used to. It included all of the vegetarian items she had been living off of for years but she insisted on adding meat to each meal. Some people, she insisted, could eat vegetarian their whole lives quite happily but she felt Joan was one of those who actually needed the fats and calories as well as the vitamins that meat would endow. As an extra precaution she added vitamin supplements. Joan hated taking pills but even she had to admit to feeling better after a few weeks. Her sleeping habits became better and she could now concentrate on work. She was turning out paintings from her mass of sketches. She even made plans to release a book or perhaps a couple of books of all the final sketches of her body of work over the years. As spring came she felt great and looked it. She started jogging regularly and often D.O.G accompanied her. It was funny at first as he only could make it to the driveway. He never could go very far down the road but as he grew he slowly went farther week by week. By the end of summer he could easily make the miles that she jogged. She complained though that he had four legs and she only two. Frequently Grace would be driving home and find the two of the jogging on the road towards home.

That late spring yielded a wonderful harvest for them all. Two new babies born within a month of each other. Craig and Jane, much to Aaron’s disgust produced another daughter that they named Amelia. Adam and Gwen had a son that they named Don after her father. Little Donny was doted on by all of his grandparents immediately. Mrs. Kovoch frowned upon finding Joan and Grace already fussing over the baby when she and Don had arrived at the hospital. Gwen had been in labor on and off for three days which gave them plenty of notice to get there.

Summer was wonderful for everyone. There was the puppy and the new babies. The boat and the wave runner’s were tuned up and put into play and the trampoline was inflated. Joan didn’t spend much time painting she so enjoyed the time with her children and grandchildren. Almost every day someone was there using the boat or wave runner’s. She got to play with Aaron and Jennifer exclusively for Jane was so involved with her new baby. Grace would take off afternoons if she could and join all of them. Bryan brought Kim frequently and she observed a new aspect of this close family. Friends dropped by and the Jacuzzi’s were in constant use. What a great summer everyone said over and over again.

As summer came to a close, Joan realized she should get her plans for the books in order. She had already contacted Allan about them and he was enthused. He had wondered for years what happened to her sketches and was thrilled with her idea for the books. An explanation along with each of them giving her thoughts, feelings, and perhaps motivations would accompany each sketch in the book. Joan had to go over thoughts and feelings of the decades that the sketches covered, good and bad she had to bring them into her thoughts. Quite a few of the sketches never became paintings but that was a plus they decided for the book. When she came to the thoughts and feelings regarding the sketches of THE GRACE though she hesitated and left that for last. This sketch would be in the second book anyway and released a year after the first book.

Fall came and Aaron had to start first grade. It was a pretty big step. After the first week he came to visit with Joan and Grace to give mom and dad a break and he talked non stop all day. He played roughly with D.O.G and they had a wild time. He’d throw the toys for the dog and they’d play tug of war. Who was more tired when he left Joan didn’t know.

Grace really enjoyed having D.O.G in their life. She talked about getting a cat and naming it C.A.T. but they agreed, no one wanted the hair. Besides Mrs. Richardson might just quit over any more additions to their household they joked. D.O.G had added so much to their lives. Joan kept the food dishes in the alcove out of the way but so that D.O.G could eat with them. She kept kibble in an automatic feeder so the dog could eat whenever it wanted. She felt with all the exercise the dog got that it should eat when it felt the need and not become overweight. When Joan was working D.O.G would watch her all the time. Every time Joan stood up to move anything the dog was aware of her. When she worked too much or too late the dog’s sighs were an amusement to her ears, letting her know that it was enough. Frequently, D.O.G would grab his leash and start bouncing around, time for a walk or a jog. He knew how to tell time by the grandmother clock that bonged in the living room. At 5 PM it was time for Joan to quit work and go for a jog. Most days if D.O.G needed to go out Mrs. Richardson would watch as he did his duty in the side woods away from the traveled paths of their yard. Joan had taught him this in the first few weeks, taking him to the same spot repeatedly and praising him. He soon learned that pooping and peeing elsewhere were not praised. Grace took him to the vet’s after a few months and they had him fixed. Joan took him to a doggy spa and they got him used to the clipper and it’s noise. When Grace would come home he’d gallop to greet her. Discouraging his kisses was useless. You had to stop and say hello or he’d continue until you did. They did work on getting him to sit, stay, lay down, and even shake his paw and speak on command. By the end of the first year they had a well behaved and well groomed gentle dog on their hands. He was so much fun for everyone that Craig and Jane discussed getting one of their own and contacted the breeder that Sir George had come from. They didn’t have a ready litter but perhaps in the spring.

Since she started eating and sleeping better, Joan had made it a practice to jog daily. With the added bonus of spending it with D.O.G she began to keep up a regular regimen. She hadn’t felt this good physically in years. Her arms and legs became very toned, no longer too skinny. Her ribs no longer showed and she even had the hint of a six pack on her tummy. The equipment in the basement became used more frequently as well. Grace joined her when she could, especially after a stressful day at her work. Grace loved seeing Joan so healthy and happy. She loved feeling her body as it subtly changed shape. Joan, no longer sleepy all the time became a vigorous lover. Grace to keep up started taking stock of her own health. They both felt in the prime of their lives with each other.

Joan was out jogging one day when D.O.G started to strain at the leash and growl. A car she noticed was again parked at the end of their road. It was on their land and had been there a few times. She had always thought it was a hunter or a fisherman who took one of the paths off through the woods to the river. She couldn’t deny them the right to fish on a public river but it annoyed her that it was parked on her land. She never saw it park or leave but knew it wasn’t there every day. She mentioned it a few times to Grace as well.

Today as D.O.G growled she thought she saw someone duck out of sight in the car. Feeling creeped out she finished the end of her jog and headed back, pulling the dog along until he complied. The entire length of the road until she went through the gates she had the feeling she was being watched. The hairs on the back of her neck told her so. Grace told her she must be imagining things when she mentioned it to her later. Joan had to agree with her but still she wasn’t sure.

Grace had a problem of her own. Greg had decided to move on and his position as chief of psychiatry was open. She and Jason were both applying for it. They were friends as well as colleagues but competing for this position was creating a strain. Jason had more years here in Wausau but Grace had more years of experience. They knew that it might just come down to them both if no one was hired from outside the department.

One rare afternoon in fall with the leaves turning around them, Grace joined Joan and D.O.G for a jog. She couldn’t keep up the miles that these two put under their belt but she jogged the length of the road and walked until she met them returning. She saw the car that Joan had mentioned parking in it’s spot and with the intention of telling them they were on private land she stopped surprised to see Beth behind the wheel. She hadn’t seen her in months. She’d come by the hospital a couple of times to visit people but Grace had always avoided her and not seen her. Since her firing she had gone to work in private practice. Far away from the hustle and bustle of the hospital. Beth was equally surprised to see Grace there. She’d been coming for weeks to this lonely spot to watch the chalet and had become used to seeing Joan and the dog on this lonely road. She never had seen Grace except as she drove up to the gate as it swung open for her Jaguar. Coming face to face with her was startling and unwelcome.

“Uh, hello Grace” she began. They had never spoken since that fateful day at the hospital.

“Hello Beth” Grace responded quietly. “What are you doing here?” She indicated the well used parking spot that bore the prints of many a parked vehicle. Actually the prints of one vehicle parked here many times.

“Just looking, daydreaming.” Beth was very uncomfortable. She thought she had never been spotted and she was right but her car had been. It wasn’t easy to hide a car.

“You know your trespassing don’t you?” Grace asked her gently. Not knowing Beth’s mental state she wasn’t going to antagonize her. After what she had done, Grace felt she was a bit obsessed.

“Oh really?” Genuine surprise was in Beth’s voice. “I thought this was public land.” Her hand swept the land around the car.

“No, we own it right up to the side road off the highway.”

“Oh, no one ever said. I don’t see any signs saying no trespassing and thought that that land over there was state forest” she said pointing.

“That land is. This land and the road are private.” Grace was sure Beth knew it and was just hedging.

“Oh, okay I’ll go.” She started up the car and turned again to look at Grace, hope in her eyes “it was nice to see you again, Grace.” She drove away.

Grace never said a word to her watching her go. Just then Joan and D.O.G jogged around the corner and had to jump in the ditch as Beth nearly side swiped them. Grace ran back to them as fast as she could. She heard some pretty good swearing coming from Joan in the ditch as she pulled herself out of it. “Are YOU okay?” she asked grabbing Joan’s arm.

Dusting herself off and grimacing at the scratches to her legs and arms she answered “yes, I think so.” looking down the road at the departed car she said “WHO WAS THAT?”

Grace told her and watched the anger begin in Joan’s face. She told her about the conversation as well. Carefully controlled well modulated tones said “Well then I guess we have No Trespassing signs to hang.” Joan and Grace walked back to the chalet to clean her up.

Indeed in the next couple of weeks Joan and Grace put the signs up every 20 feet around the perimeter of their land including along the river frontage. It was costly and they both got really scratched up but they felt better for it with a job well done.

The car though still appeared fairly regularly but Joan didn’t see where Beth was hiding. She checked the car and it was always well locked. She’d head back and by the time the tow truck or police came it was always gone. The police lieutenant she told her story to wasn’t too sympathetic. Lieutenant Gillespie was annoyed that he had been assigned to this case. The police chief though was friends of Craig’s and he had asked as a personal favor that this be treated seriously. Gillespie felt it was a waste of time. When he found out Grace and Joan were ‘married’ he thought this was an even more ridiculous case. Their accusations of it being this Beth Chappel were unfounded. There just simply was no proof. Beth denied it of course and confided that perhaps Joan had an ax to grind because of Beth’s previous relationship with Grace, implying more was there than there seemed. Gillespie didn’t want to get in the middle of a lesbian triangle and resented all of it and as a result didn’t take action. Joan hated calling the police as they felt it was a simple trespassing case. She was feeling frustrated and angry. After Beth had talked to the police phone calls started. Joan would go to answer and then it would hang up. Nothing came up on the caller id and there was no way to prove who it was calling them. She had to let the machine answer them so she could monitor them and answer when she wanted. It was a pain.

She’d go out for a jog, always accompanied by D.O.G and get that creepy feeling again. She didn’t know from which direction it came but she was beginning to get paranoid. It wasn’t just when the car was parked there anymore either. She even had the feeling a few times when she was painting in her studio. She’d look out the front windows and see the car or not and know she was being watched. Grace didn’t feel it the same way but she could see it affecting Joan and that bothered her. They’d even had a couple of minor arguments about it. There was nothing either could do but the frustration had them yelling at each other about it. Grace was working hard to get her promotion and the stress was getting to her, she didn’t need this at home too.

One night Joan went out early without D.O.G but left him in the yard. She went to the spot where the car usually parked and looked around. From her viewpoint she could see the chalet clearly down the straight road. With a pair of binoculars she was certain you could see into the house with it’s wonderful windows. Hearing a car coming down the road perpendicular to theirs she hid in the brush behind the spot. The car pulled ahead and turned out it’s lights so they wouldn’t shine into the house at the end of the road. It backed into it’s parking space and Joan watched as Beth sat there awhile watching the chalet and it’s activities. Beth waited until she saw Mrs. Richardson leave for the day and then got out of her car to hide in the bushes near Joan. Joan didn’t make a sound. Obviously Beth knew the routine of the occupants in the chalet. When Joan didn’t make her usual appearance, Beth got back in her car. When Grace drove down the road after awhile in her Jaguar she ducked behind the dash until Grace’s back was to her. She watched using a telescope as Grace pulled into the drive and through the gates. The gates closing behind her as she went around the circular drive to the carriage house and put away the car. She watched as Grace walked from the carriage house to the chalet and let herself in. Shortly thereafter she started her own car and drove away. Joan came out from her hiding place. She was cold from her long wait and jogged back to the house to warm up. Her thoughts had her pretty steamed.

Grace turned from checking the dinner that Mrs. Richardson had left to see Joan coming into the house. She was swinging her arms and puffing. Concerned she asked “Are you okay?” How odd that she hadn’t seen her on the road. How strange that she hadn’t taken the dog who now was greeting her exuberantly. Joan bent over to wrestle the dog to a sitting position but looked up to answer “Fine.” The dog calmed down and Joan straightened up meeting Graces eyes. Grace could see something was upsetting her but Joan didn’t say anything about what it was. Instead she said that she needed the steam room, she was cold this evening. Grace watched as she headed downstairs, she was puzzled.

Joan sat in the steamroom thinking for a long time. Finally the steam seemed to penetrate her bones and warm her up. Obviously Beth had a routine going. She’d spied on them enough to know what they did when. Now what was she going to do with that information Joan wondered. The police weren’t going to do anything. They’d posted the land. She’d even taken to keeping a journal of when she saw the car parked there as well as her thoughts about it. Whenever she had that creepy feeling or was feeling paranoid she’d jotted it down. Grace said keeping a journal helped people sort things out in their lives but instead to Joan it only served as a reminder of something she couldn’t do anything about. It was frustrating and it made her mad.

She didn’t know how long she’d sat in the steamroom until Grace looked through the glass stuck her head around the door and spotting her through the mist asked if she was going to eat. Turning off the steam and grabbing a terry cloth robe she followed Grace upstairs. Strangely she was starving. They had pork chops, mashed potatoes, steamed carrots, and boiled corn. On the side was a dish of applesauce. Accompanying the meal was a nice red wine that they had come to enjoy immensely. The wine that they had in Venice at the restaurant had made such an impression that Joan had purchased a case of it and they kept it on hand for their own consumption.

Grace shared her day with Joan but Joan was a bit quiet. Used to her artistic distraction Grace thought that was the reason but she wasn’t sure, there may be something else. Also, Joan was never without D.O.G. on her jogs these days. Why hadn’t she seen her? Why did she come in so late after she had come home?

They finished dinner and cleaned up the mess, putting their used dishes in the dishwasher. Joan went upstairs to put some clothes on and Grace grabbed her briefcase to do some of the work she had brought home. She was sitting at the desk working when Joan returned and put on some light music. Starting the fire she sat drinking some wine and staring into the flames. D.O.G. tried to join her on the couch but she pushed him down and petted him. Finished with her work Grace joined her and they sat staring into the fire and idly chatting until bedtime. They did this a lot thought Grace. It was so nice, so quiet and companionable.

The next day while Grace was at work Joan walked about the property. She took D.O.G. along with her as she climbed the stairs to the rarely used apartment above the carriage house. You couldn’t see down the road from the carriage house and it wasn’t visible until you were in their circular drive. You could see into the windows of the carriage house easily because of the angle of the chalet to it. You could also see into the chalet from the carriage house. Joan found evidence that someone had been in here. They kept the apartment furnished for guests to stay in but they had only used it a few times. Mrs. Richardson cleaned it when they needed it. Mostly when someone came for an extended stay and the guest room was already in use. Someone though had been here. Someone had sat at the windows for extended periods of time as the angle of the moved furniture and the dusty smudges indicated. After leaving and locking the door, she made sure it WAS locked, she set the alarm which they never used on the chalet. Their key activator’s for the carriage house roll up doors would allow the cars to come and go but the alarm would protect the apartment and the cars separately.

By late afternoon she was hidden again in the spot behind where Beth would park her car. She waited until Beth parked it and had gotten out of her car after Mrs. Richardson had left. She watched as Beth watched Grace come home. As Beth walked back to get in her car Joan stepped out of hiding and confronted her. She told her that she knew she’d been on the property and stolen things from them. She said the police were now involved and she’d better stop coming around. She told her everyone was on to her and if she didn’t stop harassing Grace that she, Joan would make sure that she did. She didn’t give Beth specifics on what was stolen, who knew what, or what she would do to her but her threats did the job. Beth was thoroughly cowed. Frightened she stammered an apology and sped out of there. Joan was shooken up about it all, she was very upset. She hadn’t known what to do and she hoped this would be the end of it. She jogged down the road to home.

Grace was calling her as she came in. D.O.G. had been loose on the property as she drove in and this was unusual. Grace hadn’t been able to find her and as her Mercedes was in the carriage house and there was no note, where was she? Hearing the tone for the gate as Joan came in she was waiting at the front door for her and opened it for her. In her worry her tone wasn’t the best “where have you been?”

Taken aback at Grace’s angry, demanding tone, and already upset, Joan snapped back “what does it matter.” She brushed by an angry Grace and jogged up the stairs with D.O.G. following her.

Grace found her at their little desk in their bedroom writing quickly in a little notebook. D.O.G. was stretched out on their bed, thrilled to have it to himself. Grace automatically ordered him down and he reluctantly obeyed. Joan looked up and covered the notebook with her hand. Grace ignored her and went into the dressing room to change out of her work clothes. Joan resumed her writing and was finished as Grace came out in jeans and a T-shirt that read “taken the plunge?” a reference to swimming in the ocean. Joan was closing up the little desk as Grace grabbed some sneakers from their walk in closet. Joan watched as she sat at the bench and put them on. D.O.G. was trying to get her attention and finally Grace grabbed him and snuggled much to his delight.

Joan asked “did you have a rough day?” As this was the norm the past few weeks it was a pretty common question.

Grace looked up from where she was rubbing her fingers through the dogs soft coat and remembering the short response of downstairs she raised one eyebrow and answered “does it matter?”

Taken aback as she didn’t remember what she had said to Grace she asked what that was supposed to mean. Grace said that she’d come home and Joan was acting strange for the last two days, she was wondering what was going on. Relieved that it wasn’t anything else Joan told her the discoveries she had made in the past two days as well as the confrontation with Beth earlier that evening. Grace was floored that this was all even more serious than they had suspected with Beth even coming onto the property and breaking into the carriage house. She wasn’t certain that confronting her though had been a good idea. She didn’t need this. The stress of the past few weeks was starting to get to her.

They went down to have their dinner and to discuss their options. Both felt kind of helpless against this. So far nothing could or would be done. Perhaps Joan had scared her off but perhaps not, it was up to Beth.

Joan was due to be gone to an exhibit in New York the entire next week. She wanted to get a gallery going there as well. With the success of her other three she thought it was a good spot to do the same. The exhibit itself would be only three days and she planned on having a real estate agent take her around to galleries that were up for sale or that were in dire straights. She’d decide then or in the coming months. Allan was going to be there and would help.

Grace felt so very paranoid that week while Joan was gone. Yes it was only for a week but given the stress at work and the crapola from Beth she felt very uneasy. She even let D.O.G. sleep on the bed with her. He always tried to take his half out of the middle but he was cuddly and otherwise a good bedmate except when he snored. It was nice to wake up in the morning to his furry body and have him kiss her awake. He must hear the change in her breathing and know she was waking up. At least he was a comfort. She watched Aaron, Jennifer, and Amelia one night so that Craig and Jane could go out for an evening. She felt so like a grandma. Aaron referred to her as Grace but Jennifer called her Grandma Grace and Joan was just Grandma. The baby was so much fun as she was crawling everywhere. D.O.G. was fascinated and protective of the baby. Grace had a blast. With her feelings of paranoia strong she worked longer hours at the hospital. At least that would help her case for the job. She didn’t wish Jason ill and would be happy if he got the position but she wanted it too. She was very happy to see Joan at the end of the week.

Joan was in good spirits. She’d actually found two potential galleries that would meet her needs and she handed them over to Craig to work out the details and so he could play one off the other until they decided on one. Allan had the great idea of having a kind of grand opening after the renovations were done and to include the other galleries in it’s celebration somehow.

Grace received the news on a Friday that she had indeed been given the promotion. Jason was thrilled for her even though he had wanted it for himself. She came home with a bottle of champagne and celebrated with Joan. They had a wonderful dinner and D.O.G. amused them. They were cleaning up the mess when they heard a knocking at their front door. D.O.G. started barking as if they didn’t know there was someone at the door. It was odd though, they hadn’t heard the tone of the gate, the boys knew the entrance code and usually they came right in. There was a useless doorchime button at the door and why they didn’t use that Joan didn’t know. How had the person gotten past the gate? Mrs. Richardson had left a little late this evening for cooking their celebratory dinner, perhaps she had left it open?

Joan opened the front door to find a gun shoved into her face. Beth Chappel stood there smiling evilly. Joan backed away into the foyer, being careful to walk sideways away from the steps down into the living room. They stood there a minute while they looked at each other. Beth had a strange sort of triumphant look in her face. Joan was trying to stay calm, her heart was about to leap out of her throat. D.O.G. was growling but standing down in the living room, he wasn’t sure what to do, he was too young. Grace came around from the dining room where she had been putting away the candle sticks. Open mouthed she halted as she saw who had come through the door and what she was holding on Joan. Distracted at her entrance Beth turned the gun on her. Joan took a moment to back up even more and ran into the paneling surrounding their front window. Reaching behind her she silently pressed a button hidden in the wood, not once, not twice, but three quick presses. By the time Beth swung back to her she had put up her hands.

“I guess I’m not expected eh?” Beth asked. Her voice was malicious.

“What are you doing here Beth?” Grace asked. She had never been so frightened in her life seeing the gun pointed at Joan. She knew though as a psychiatrist that she must remain calm.

“I’m here so you and I can be together.” Beth looked quickly over at Grace but kept the gun pointing at Joan.

“What do you mean you and I can be together?”

Joan was thinking fast. What could she do? Her arms were tiring and she slowly lowered them.

“I figured it all out Grace. You were willing to be with me last year when SHE wasn’t around.” She gestured with the gun at Joan. Grace could see her finger on the trigger, it was already cocked back and ready to fire. She told how she had watched them and realized how unhappy Grace was living here with Joan. She went on for quite awhile in her recitation, all of it was Joan’s fault. She told how she had figured out that the only reason Grace had married Joan was for the power she wielded, hadn’t she gotten Beth fired? “I realized it was all a front so you could stay here. With her out of the way we can live here, together.” With that she threw a smile at Grace. Her body turned ever so slightly and Joan lunged.

A shot rang out and then another. Joan had Beth’s arm up above her head. She tripped Beth with her leg and they both fell. Joan wouldn’t release her grip on Beth’s wrist and the gun went off the second time. Smacking her hand on the slate floor Joan got her to release it. Beth swung at Joan and caught her off balance hitting her strongly on the jaw Joan went flying towards the wall. Beth crawled over, got up and was about to kick Joan when Joan used one of her kickboxing high kicks from her reclined position. Beth was screaming “I’m going to kill you! You’ve ruined it all for me! She loves me! She loves me!” over and over as they fought. Beth went down from the kick and Joan straddled her. D.O.G. was barking frantically in the background. Beth tried to buck her off and then tried to scratch at her eyes scratching her face instead but Joan hung on and began to systematically pound Beth’s head on the slate. She continued until Beth was unconscious unable to stop herself. Finally, Grace grabbed her by the arms and pulled her up and off the prone unconscious body.

Joan stood there heaving from her exertions she leaned over grasping her knees to get her breath back. Just then cops entered with their guns drawn. D.O.G. was frantic and Grace let go of Joan to pull the inexperienced dog back. Joan stood up as the cops looked at the body in front of them on the slate. She put out her hands to the side as one cop trained a gun on her. One cop leaned over to see if Beth had a pulse. Another cop reached over to pick up the gun and Joan said “don’t!” Startled he stopped and looked at her in question. “It’s evidence, use a bag” she offered. He nodded. The cops, seeing that neither Joan nor Grace were armed asked what was going on. Joan said she’d give her statement only to Lieutenant Gillespie, she wouldn’t keep repeating what had happened and that they’d better get him out here. Strangely, they complied.

An ambulance came, it’s siren’s blaring. They hadn’t heard ones on the cop cars. Joan, her surge of adrenaline dying went and sat down on the couch. Grace put D.O.G. in his kennel downstairs, a cop following so they could search the house. She came back up and stood by as the paramedics went over the body. She rubbed her arms to warm them. They put a neck brace on Beth and strapped her to a board. They stopped briefly in the doorway as Lieutenant Gillespie came through. The three cops quickly gave him a report. He looked at Grace standing there and Joan sitting on the couch. Joan was so still and looked shaken. He pulled Grace into the kitchen and took her report of what happened.

Grace told him of the past couple weeks when they had discovered that Beth had broken in and then Joan’s subsequent confrontation. He sent for a team to take fingerprints of the carriage house apartment. It had been weeks and they hadn’t seen or heard from Beth so they had both hoped that it was over. Then tonight Beth had come into their home with a gun. She saw things differently than Joan would. She saw Beth determined to kill Joan. Obsessed with Grace. The fight had been intense and scary. She was worried about Joan. Gillespie wouldn’t let her talk to Joan until he had interviewed her. Instead he sent her to let the team into the carriage house and turn off the alarms.

Joan was sitting there shocked on the couch. She had almost killed Beth with her bare hands. Shouldn’t she feel something. She didn’t know. She didn’t feel anything but a kind of numbness. Gillespie sat across from her. She was turned a little staring into the fireplace as she recited what had happened that night. She told that she had triggered the alarm by pushing a hidden button on the framing of the front window. She told what Beth had screamed at them. She told of the fight and the gun going off. She only remembered hearing one shot though. A team of officers were dusting for fingerprints and another team was looking for the bullets. They found one right away over the fireplace near the sketch of The Ring. Gillespie watched Joan as she told him her version. He recorded it for his later report. He asked her if she had been afraid of the gun shooting her. Looking startled she said no, she’d been afraid that Beth would shoot Grace. Why Grace when it was you she wanted? She felt Beth was out of her mind and would kill them all, herself perhaps included. She didn’t remember anything else until the cops were there. She no longer remembered slamming Beth’s head into the slate.

Gillespie determined that what Joan and Grace told him was the truth but it wasn’t up to him to decide that although his report leaned heavily to their favor. The fingerprints would later determine that Beth had indeed been in the apartment. He was asking Joan a few more questions about the confrontation when Grace returned and sat on the couch near Joan. He finished up and thanked them both for their time. He stood up to leave.

Grace and Joan stood to see him out. He reached out to shake each of their hands. Joan winced when he did so. She went to walk around the coffee table to see him out when she lost her balance and fell to the floor hitting her head on the corner of the table. Her head jerked back painfully and she was unconscious before she hit the ground. Where she had been sitting on the couch was a very large pool of blood. She began bleeding from her forehead. There isn’t anything to protect a forehead, no fatty tissue or muscle and the blood poured down her head.

Shouting for an ambulance Gillespie turned the body over. Grace warned him to be careful of her neck from the blow. He reached for her pulse only to have her sigh and stop breathing. Grace pushed him out of the way and started CPR. He stood up to watch, yelling for an ambulance again. He saw the pool of blood and wondered where that came from. Grace had done CPR for about 10 minutes when the ambulance came up. The paramedics rushing in. They pushed Grace aside and hooked Joan up to a mask. She was breathing but faintly. They found on her arm where the first bullet had struck. In sitting on the couch for so long it had bled down her arm and pooled there. Between the gunshot wound and her forehead she’d lost a lot of blood already.

Grace stood by to let them work but she was frantic. Joan was so white and the blood flowed from both her forehead and her arm. The paramedics stopped both. They put a neck brace on her and strapped her to a board. They carried her out to the waiting ambulance and Grace climbed in. At first they objected but the Gillespie pointed out she was a doctor and could help. Grace watched Joan all the way to the hospital. She never moved. Her shallow breathing scared everyone. The paramedics kept taking her blood pressure. They were reporting her stats to the hospital ER via the radio.

They arrived in under 10 minutes at the ER and the experts there took over. The paramedics gave all the data they had collected, not leaving out anything including their opinions. She apparently had hit her head pretty hard. The neck brace had to stay on. Grace wasn’t allowed in the trauma room although she continually tried. Finally they threatened her with security. She didn’t care. She was finally recognized as a doctor in the hospital despite her shambles. She had Joan’s blood all over her. Her hair had come out of it’s neat clips and hung in tendrils over her face. Blood covered her clothes. She watched as they worked on her frantically. They lost her heartbeat and used the paddles, once, twice, three times before getting it back. They intibated her. They worried over the blood loss and the blow to her head. A surgeon came in to asses her for removal of the bullet in her arm. They rushed her to surgery. Grace followed along looking lost. One of the doctors tried to stop her to question her but she angrily brushed him off. Instead she asked one of the nurses to contact Craig.

Dr. Anderson was called at home and informed that Joan Woods was brought to the emergency room near death from a bullet wound. Eating a late dinner with his wife, son, daughter-in-law, and grandchildren he frantically left to get to the hospital.

Craig received the call as he helped Jane wash the kids for bed. Leaving her with the kids he raced to the hospital calling his brothers on the way.

Adam left Gwen with Donny and raced away.

Bryan answered after a long ringing of his cell phone. He was with Kim and they both went to the hospital.

Jason was on call that evening and working late in his office when he heard. He went down to find a bloody Grace watching from the operating balcony as they worked on Joan. He convinced her to go to the waiting room. She was numb with worry. Craig found her there sitting looking at a cup of coffee that had been put in her hand. He had an incredible sense of deja vu. Except she was full of blood. She didn’t answer when he tried to talk to her. Adam walked in a few minutes later with the same results. Bryan and Kim walked in and asked what happened. All Jason could tell him is what he had been told that Joan had been shot and brought to the hospital. Grace sat there as though waiting for something. Lieutenant Gillespie walked in half an hour later but she didn’t respond even then. She just sat there waiting. Gillespie signaled to Craig that he wanted to talk to him and Adam and Brian followed them out of the room. Gillespie asked Craig if he were related to Grace? Craig explained that he was Joan’s son as were Adam and Bryan. Nodding Gillespie told them about what had occurred that evening. They were horrified having known only about the occasional car sighting and the harassing phone calls.

Dr. Anderson came hurrying up. Recognizing Craig he greeted him and asked what was going on. Craig told him what he knew and Jason came out upon hearing Anderson’s voice. Dr. Anderson went into the waiting room and was surprised to see Grace sitting there covered in blood. Jason had been trying to get her to change into scrubs but she just didn’t answer. Dr. Anderson asked if she was okay, no answer. Startled he looked around with questions in his eyes but no one to answer them. They all sat there and waited, drinking bad cups of coffee. Graces coffee became cold in her hand. Finally the surgeon came out. Seven faces rose to him. Grace got up and the guys stood as well. Alarmed at all the blood drying on Grace he asked if she was okay. She nodded and silently waited.

The surgeon addressed himself to Craig. He explained that his mother had lost a lot of blood, over half her blood had been replaced. He told how he’d removed the bullet. It hadn’t been in her arm but lodged in a rib. It had gone through her arm and barely missed an artery. The bullet in the rib had been difficult to remove. They’d gotten it out but what concerned him most was the blow to her head. It had cracked her skull and he was worried about the snapping back that her head had gotten. There was a swelling at the base of her skull from that. Nothing was broken but with her blood loss and other symptoms she was in grave condition. The hospital had done what they could but they were not hopeful that she would survive the night. Grace sat down abruptly with a sob.

Craig went to her but Kim beat him to her side. She put her arms around Grace and held her as she sobbed, rocking her gently. Dr. Anderson looked on cluelessly. He had no idea why Grace was behaving this way not knowing that Grace was married to Joan but he assumed that she was somehow involved because of the state she was in and her bloody clothes. Craig asked the surgeon before he left if they could see their mother and he said in about an hour one of them could go in. He left the waiting room. Lieutenant Gillespie left soon afterwards. Dr. Anderson left to make some phone calls. The boys all sat down waiting again. Graces sobs subsided and she sat there numbly. Finally Jason convinced her to change her bloody clothes. After she left with Jason, Bryan came to sit next to Kim, holding her close. After about 45 minutes Grace returned. She’d showered and was dressed in scrubs wearing a hospital ID badge. The surgeon returned and said someone could go see Joan. Grace made a move as if to go with him but he told her that only family members could go in.

She looked at him with devastated eyes. Clearly and distinctly she said “I AM family. Joan is MY wife.”

He was startled but seeing the nods that the boys gave him he led her into the ICU Joan lay there hooked up to machines all beeping away with monitors attached about her. She looked so pale even against the white sheets. Grace stood there looking at her helplessly. The surgeon explained what was going on, her chances, possible recovery. Grace listened but did not respond. One of the ICU nurses came over for a signature and noticed Grace.

“Grace, what are you doing here?”

Grace looked up at her. The woman almost took a step back at the misery she could see in her beautiful brown eyes. The woman glanced between Grace and the patient lying there. She knew Grace, she put two and two together.

“Is that Joan?”

Grace nodded.

“Oh my gawd Grace, I’m so sorry.”

Grace nodded, acknowledging the sympathy. The surgeon was confused. Why was Grace in scrubs wearing an ID badge. How did the nurse know her? Tilting his head he indicated he wanted to talk to the nurse. They walked far enough away that Grace wouldn’t hear them. He asked his questions and was told that Joan was Grace’s wife. That Grace was now the chief of Psychiatry. A lot of his confusion was immediately cleared up. He watched Grace for a moment as she rubbed her arms watching Joan. She began to speak to Joan. He moved closer to listen as the nurse left the room. She told Joan what an idiot she had been to fight with Beth. Who was Beth he wondered? Now look at the state she was in. She better recover soon as they all were waiting for her to open her eyes. She went on for several minutes before she took a deep breath and said simply but with great feeling “I love you, Joan.” She leaned over through all the tubes and paraphernalia and gently kissed her on the lips. Turning she silently left the ICU.

The guys, Kim, and Grace all sat in the waiting room. Three times Joan had coded. Three times they got her back. They all looked a bit shell shocked. Jason brought cups of coffee and donuts. At 9 the next morning Jane and Gwen walked in pushing their strollers and Jane had Jennifer by the hand. Aaron walked in by their side. Craig immediately stood up and told Jane she shouldn’t be there. Jane told them all that they needed to know what was going on, no one had called and they’d tried paging them but no one had responded. Both girls sat down and Craig filled them in on what they knew about Joan’s health. He refrained from telling what Lieutenant Gillespie had told them for Grace’s sake. Grace was sleeping with her arm rested on the edge of the couch. Kim had found a blanket somewhere and covered her.

It was touch and go for a few days. The swelling of her brain was a concern. Her neck as well. Finally she seemed to get better. Some of the monitors were removed and she could leave ICU. She wasn’t conscious though and she still was intibated. She looked so helpless laying there. Her body showed the signs of the fight with bruises showing up on her face and arms and the deep scratches from Beth’s finger nails on her face as well as the punch to her jaw. Worst of all was the bandage on her forehead from the coffee table blow. It had required stitches of course but it was almost black in appearance. Against her pale skin it was horrible.

After a few more days they talked about removing the intibation tube. They weren’t certain that she would breathe on her own. Grace asked that they remove it. Craig wasn’t so certain. They got into a horrible argument in the hall over it. Craig knew that Joan didn’t want to ever be hooked up to machines but he felt with a little time that she would overcome all this. Grace felt she’d recover faster if she did it on her own. Furthermore, she knew Joan would hate to have the tube if she was awake to object. Craig thought Grace was trying to ascertain her territory as Joan’s wife. In anger he finally pointed out that their marriage wasn’t legal in this state. The doctor’s who did know Grace sided with Craig anyway and followed his directives. Furious she walked away and went home. Getting out her marriage certificate and a few other papers she went back to the hospital and demanded to see Dr. Anderson.

He was surprised to see his new Chief of Psychiatry. He knew she was a friend of Joan Woods but what she showed him really threw him. She explained that there was a problem in Joan Woods care. A difference of opinion in how it should be managed. She produced the marriage certificate which floored him. She also produced a power of attorney naming Grace as Joan’s protector in the event of incapacitation. The third paper was a DNR to be used under Grace’s discretion. Joan had arranged these after the poisoning in California, afraid that she’d end up on life support for the rest of her days. Grace had the same papers drawn up for herself naming Joan. Dr. Anderson had no choice but to listen to Grace, he certainly didn’t want to draw the courts into this. He went down and directed the doctors in charge of Joan’s care to obey Graces directive, he explained about the power of attorney. He left them to it and Grace requested the tube be removed.

The doctor was removing it when Craig, Adam, and Bryan walked in the room. “What the HELL are you doing?” Craig yelled.

The doctor continued to remove it and Craig lunged at him. A male nurse standing nearby grabbed him and held him back until the tube was removed. Grace held her breath as Joan took her time to take her first unassisted breath. Finally she did. One, two, they continued.

“I told you NOT to remove that!” Craig shouted in the doctor’s face. The doctor told him he’d had no choice. He indicated Grace. Grace looked up calmly at Craig and informed him that she had power of attorney from Joan and that all future decisions regarding her health would be made through her. Furthermore, as Joan’s legally wedded wife he should have let her. She shouldn’t have had to pull out the power of attorney paperwork. He stood there defeated. Adam and Bryan pulled him from the room. How could Joan have done that. THEY were her son’s. Bryan tried to talk to him, to convince him that Grace would do what was best for their mother but he ranted and raved. Much to their surprise Adam finally told him he was being an ass and that his mother wouldn’t have made those decisions about her health without first considering it carefully. Furthermore, Grace was mom’s WIFE and was due the respect that that implied. Craig calmed down and sat in the waiting room. Hours later Grace came in for a cup of coffee. They asked her how Joan was, she told them no change. Craig apologized to her but they were both a bit cold to each other.

Weeks passed and Joan continued on in the same fashion. No better, no worse. Her body healed. Grace made arrangements for a plastic surgeon to look at the forehead but he wouldn’t do anything until Joan woke up and consented to the surgery. Much to the doctor’s relief the swelling at the base of her neck had subsided. The wounds made by the bullet were healing. Joan however remained unconscious, in a coma.

Craig was terrified that Grace would pull the plug. As the only thing that Joan was hooked up to was a feeding tube and a catheter to remove her wastes Grace felt no inclination to do so. She was insulted that the Craig hadn’t any confidence in her.

Grace returned to her duties at the hospital. Her breaks and lunch were spent in Joan’s hospital room talking to her. No response though. Brain waves indicated she was alive but not much more. Grace worried that the longer Joan took to wake up the bigger possibility of brain damage or death. One night after walking D.O.G. Grace was sitting near the balcony doors looking out. It was getting dark and she could see her reflection in the window. She was thinking over Joan’s care. The hospital doctors were making noises about moving her to a long term health care facility. Grace knew Joan could come home and they could hire a full time nurse. She hadn’t thought it all through yet so had made no decisions. Glancing up at the painting GRACE she suddenly realized something. Looking at her reflection in the windows she looked again at GRACE and realized it was her profile on that painting. All these years of having it in their homes and she JUST realized it. What a dope. How could she not have known? All the love and work that had gone into it was apparent. She wondered why no one had ever said anything to her about it, they must have assumed she knew.

Thinking of something else she ran upstairs, D.O.G. following at her heels. Going through the desk she found the notebook that Joan had been writing in. Page by page she read the documented proof of Beth’s terror campaign. She reached for the phone and called Lieutenant Gillespie. The case wasn’t going well. Beth was a virtual vegetable from the blows to her head and the prosecuting attorney wanted to charge Joan with attempted murder. All of Grace’s testimony and what the Lieutenant had gathered wasn’t squat to this prosecutor. The Lieutenant said he would meet her at the hospital tomorrow to pick up Joan’s journal. Remembering her own as well Grace offered it for evidence. When he came by she told him that he could obtain statements from her old boss Greg, and Dr. Anderson as well as Dr. Baird and Dr. Eaol regarding the incident from last year. With all this information he felt better about the case and proceeded to do as she asked. First he asked after Joan and Grace told her that nothing had improved.

It had been more than two months. It was definitely spring outside. It was a warm spring too. Joan continued to make no change. The hospital insisted that she be moved. They needed the room they claimed. Dr. Anderson came and talked to Grace. Grace agreed to have Joan moved to her home and hire a staff of nurses to care for her. She went to tell Joan. She was sitting there talking with Joan when she thought she heard something. Looking up she saw Joan looking around the room.

Rising she gave her a beautiful smile. “Hello, Joan.”

Joan looked at her and said “hello” her eyes continued to look around the room. She examined each detail. She looked at the IV attached to her arm.

Grace realized she must be confused and said “your in the hospital. Do you remember why?”

Joan looked back at Graces voice and then shook her head. She waited expectantly for Grace to tell her an innocent look on her face.

“You were shot. You lost a lot of blood and took a blow to the head. Do you remember anything?” Grace asked her gently.

Again Joan shook her head then asked Grace “are you one of my doctor’s?”

Grace froze. After all this time she hadn’t expected this. Thinking quickly she answered “No, not really. I’m actually your best friend.”

Joan smiled up at her. “Oh, that’s nice. What’s your name?”

“Grace” she answered.

“What a lovely name. You said my name was...Joan?”

“Yes that’s right.”

Nodding Joan continued to look around the room. “How long have I been here?”

“Over two months.”

“Oh, can I leave soon?”

“Well, once your doctor’s say you can go home.”

“That’s good.” She bit her lip and then “Where’s home?”

Not sure of how to answer that one Grace hedged a little and then “Here in Wausau.” She went on to describe the chalet hoping to jog Joan’s mind.

Just then a nurse came in to check on her patient. She was reading the chart as Grace talked to Joan but she was used to it. Grace always talked to this patient whether she could hear her or not. She was startled though to hear Joan’s voice respond. She looked up to see that Joan was awake. Completely. She ran to get Joan’s doctors. The room quickly became full of doctors who asked questions of Joan. Joan didn’t know the answers and became a bit overwhelmed at all of them. Grace finally asked everyone to leave.

Grace called the boys and told them Joan was awake. They each came to visit her. Craig brought Jane and the kids, Adam brought Gwen and Donny, Bryan brought Kim. She remembered none of them. She listened as she was introduced and was polite to all of them but she didn’t really believe them when she was told that they were her son’s, grandson’s, daughters-in-law, or granddaughters. Kim she gave a spark of recognition for a moment but it was lost.

Joan’s doctor couldn’t tell them if the amnesia was permanent or not. He personally thought so given that she remembered nothing of these people and the trauma to her head. The mind though was a tricky thing. He agreed that she should go home, physically there was nothing wrong with her, she was healed. He also recommended that she see a psychiatrist. Grace couldn’t treat Joan so she asked Jason to. He agreed heartily feeling that Joan was his friend and he would be able to relate to her very well. They set up three sessions a week and Joan was cleared to go home.

Grace arranged to take her home herself. The boys wanted to all be there but Grace refused saying she didn’t want to overwhelm Joan her first day home. Joan admired the Jaguar as they drove. She didn’t ask any questions and watched avidly as they drove down the road and to the chalet. She was impressed by the electric gate that swung open for the car. Grace parked in front of the chalet and got out. Joan got out too but slowly, her eyes taking in the place but recognizing nothing. Grace led the way into the house and Joan followed slowly. Mrs. Richardson was there and Grace introduced her to Joan. Joan was polite but had no clue who this woman was who apparently knew her. D.O.G. greeted her enthusiastically and she bent down and petted him until he calmed down while Grace told her his name. He hadn’t seen her in months and it took awhile until he was settled.

Grace showed her around the living room and Joan seemed fascinated by the paintings and sketch hung there. She stood in front of the The Ring sketch for a long time and then asked Grace if this was the same one as the ring she wore. Grace answered yes and Joan moved on to the other’s. When she came to the portrait of Grace she studied that for awhile. Then asked quietly if this was of Grace. Grace again answered yes. She didn’t want to feel she had to follow Joan around and she certainly didn’t want Joan to feel she was hovering so she walked to the kitchen.

Joan wandered around the living room and then onto the deck. She looked out over the river and the dock. She looked out at the trees and the property. She remembered none of this. Since she had woken up in the hospital a parade of people had come through her room telling her outrageous stories that were supposedly about her. She remembered none of what these people told her, she felt as though it was all one big con. Since she didn’t know the truth though she decided to follow along with it all until she knew differently. There were photographs of Joan and Grace, Joan and the men introduced as her son’s, Joan and some children, Grace, Joan, and the same children at different ages. She must live here. This would be such an elaborate set up for a con otherwise. Rubbing her forehead absentmindedly she went inside.

Grace showed her the basement and it’s workout area, the guest bedroom, the entertainment area, the library, the jacuzzi, the steam room. Joan guessed that there was a lot of money as this was so fancy. Grace took her back upstairs and then led her to the upper stairs. She showed Joan the studio. It was light and airy, the sunbeams coming through the skylights were spectacular and the views from both the front and back windows were incredible. It had it’s own bathroom too. Then Grace showed her the bedroom. The bed was queen size and had very beautiful sheets and covers on it. The bathroom was so luxurious. The walk in closet and dressing room blew the mind. All those clothes! Asking about them she realized there was more than one size represented here and asked Grace about them. Grace told her that one side was her’s and the other her own. Looking at Grace she said “You live here?” As far as Joan was concerned Grace was introduced as her best friend.

Looking carefully at Joan, she didn’t want to frighten or upset her Grace said “Yes, I live here with you.”

Thinking for awhile Joan realized the only other bedroom she had seen was in the basement and that unoccupied. Another thought occurred to her but she didn’t want to voice it but then realized she had to. “Where do you sleep?”

Grace had watched her think things through and knew what was coming. She indicated their bed “here.”

“Where do I sleep?” Joan was starting to feel boxed in. She knew they were setting her up for something.

“Here” Grace wanted to explain but Joan didn’t give her an opening.

“Oh” she answered and then walked quickly from the room with Grace following. She went down the stairs and looked into the kitchen where Mrs. Richardson was preparing lunch. Not sure what to say or do she just stood there. Grace put her hand on her shoulder and Joan jumped, twisting away from her, her face fearful.

“Easy, sorry. I thought perhaps you’d like to go for a walk down to the dock until lunch is ready.” Grace was afraid she had upset things with the bedroom. She hadn’t even thought to lie. Jason had agreed the truth only for her recovery. If she never recovered there still must be the truth.

Joan agreed and headed for the deck. D.O.G. followed hopefully and she let him out. They walked slowly down the steps to the deck. Joan stared out at the water and then sat on one of the adirondack chairs that was set there. Grace sat in the other one. They were both quiet for a long while before Joan began asking about her artwork. She seemed confused about it. That it generated money at all. Grace explained about the foundation and her son’s working there. How it had gotten started, what it did, how it generated money. She explained about the art shows, the tours, and the galleries. Joan didn’t believe a word of it.

Finally Joan took a deep breath and asked about their living arrangements. She said she wasn’t sure about things. Grace assured her that they would do nothing she didn’t want to. Not to worry. They’d take things one step at a time and when or if Joan was ready. She could wait, she loved her. At this Joan seemed very uncomfortable. Grace decided this was enough for today and suggested they head back for lunch. D.O.G. led the way.

During lunch they spoke not at all. Grace left her to her own devices that afternoon and found her sitting on the couch in the entertainment area with D.O.G. while reading a book. Over the next few weeks this was a common site. Joan read everything in the library she could get a hand on. Even some of the books she had hated before. She didn’t remember any of them so it was all new to her. She also poured through their photo albums trying desperately to remember the faces and the places that were in them.

That night in the bathroom Grace changed first and Joan who felt so very awkward about things hid and then changed into a set of sweat pants and a bulky T-shirt. Grace, who was trying to be discrete about things had already gotten into bed and turned her back to Joan’s side and turned out her light. Joan turned out the lights in the bathroom and reluctantly got into the bed. Her back to Grace she turned off the light on the side of the bed. Grace said “goodnight Joan” and Joan answered stiffly “goodnight.” She didn’t relax until she was sure that Grace was asleep. The first of many uncomfortable nights for her.

She woke early and watched as Grace got ready for work. She tried not to stare. She averted her eyes as much as possible. Grace had explained that she worked as a doctor at the hospital and she showed Joan how to reach her if need be. She told Joan for the first few days she might just want to relax around the chalet until she was familiar with things. Not speaking Joan just nodded in agreement and then Grace was gone. Only then did Joan get out of bed to change into jeans and another T-shirt. Grace had shown her what side of the closet contained her clothes. There was a lot of flowing things. Not Joan’s taste at all but then she laughed at herself, what did she know of her own taste.

She spent the day reading with D.O.G.. Grace found her out on the dock late in the afternoon. They ate dinner together, quietly. Grace tried to share her day but either Joan didn’t answer at all or all her responses were one syllable. Joan had no comprehension of what Grace did and couldn’t understand what Grace was trying to share. She showed no interest where before she would have given her full attention to Grace.

The boys couldn’t wait anymore and one by one over the next few days they dropped by. Joan met her grandchildren and their honest welcome of their grandmother was the first thing that Joan believed. The grandchildren were so open that she couldn’t help but respond. They taught her to play all their favorite games again. As the games were new to Joan she didn’t become bored as she would have before. She knew that she was watched at all times and it became uncomfortable. She knew she was almost always the topic of conversation, this made her uncomfortable too.

She started going to see Jason three times a week. At first Grace would come home to take her to her appointments but soon Jane and occasionally Kim did. Of all the people that Joan had met she related the best with Kim. No one knew why but they were all grateful that she felt comfortable with her and could talk to her. Kim was getting to know a Joan that no one else had known either. She was always pleasant to everyone but she had no memory of them or the events that they continually asked her to remember. She was tired of people asking her or starting a conversation with “do you remember when...” She was always cheerful and happy but she still didn’t believe a word they said.

When she spoke to Jason she felt it was a waste of time. They tried hypnosis, this didn’t work as Joan was one of those rare people who didn’t go under. They tried many other therapies as well but she grew frustrated and found them annoying. She wanted a quick fix but nothing was working, nothing was triggering the memories she desperately craved and everyone else seemed to want. She was more and more reluctant to go to her sessions. Grace took her out one weekend in the Mercedes to see if she could drive. She did very well and from then on went to her therapy sessions herself.

One day Kim was working hard at the clinic when one of the new nurses came running up telling her that a woman was asking frantically for her at the front desk. Since the remodel the place had really grown. It took her awhile to go from one end of the building to the other. There stood Joan looking totally disheveled and upset, she kept asking “where’s Kim, is Kim here?” Kim took her back to her office to calm her down and ask what was wrong. Joan explained that she had headed for her therapy session as usual today but that they detoured the traffic and she had become lost. She’d driven around for hours but couldn’t find her way. Scared she happened across 5th Avenue. Remembering that Kim worked at the 5th Street Clinic she asked someone where 5th Street was in relation to 5th Avenue. With this information in hand she had found the clinic. Since it was so late in the day Kim drove home with her. On the way she asked Joan why she hadn’t phoned Grace for help. Joan confided that Grace scared her. Surprised at this news Kim asked her why. Joan said she’d show her. When they got to the chalet, Mrs. Richardson was still there. She said that Grace had called several times looking for Joan who had never showed up for her appointment. She’d tried calling the car but the phone was turned off. Just then the phone in the kitchen rang and Mrs. Richardson answered it. She told Grace that Joan had showed up at the chalet. Mrs. Richardson tried to hand the phone to Joan. Joan refused and Kim took the phone. Joan headed upstairs. Kim explained about what had happened and Grace told her she would be right there. Kim found Joan upstairs sitting on the edge of her bed sort of rocking. Putting her arm around Joan she comforted her asking what was wrong, why was she scared of Grace. In answer Joan pulled open the drawer of the side table which contained their toys. She was genuinely horrified at her find. She explained that she was afraid of what these meant. She didn’t know what to do. Kim tried hard not to laugh, she too had been surprised to see the love toys but then she figured why not, they were adults. Joan was really shook up about the find. Kim explained that Grace loved her. That she would never do anything to hurt her. If Joan didn’t want to use these items then they wouldn’t. After speaking awhile Joan seemed to calm down. Closing the drawer she laid down to sleep and Kim pulled a blanket over her and left the room.

Grace made it home within 30 minutes. She’d been frantic when she had been informed by Jason that Joan had just never shown up. Not being able to find her anywhere in the hospital or by phone had scared her. Kim reiterated what had happened and how Joan came to be with her. She further explained that Joan was afraid of Grace. Surprised, Grace asked what that meant and Kim, her face aflame explained about the find of toys, Joan’s fears and what Kim had told her. Grace’s face was red as well but she listened. She drove Kim back to her clinic to get her car. They discussed Joan the whole way. Grace explained her frustrations as well. Joan didn’t talk to her much if at all. She didn’t appear to want to remember. It had been months and she needed and wanted the closeness that she had once had with Joan. Kim told her she must be prepared that Joan may never get back to that. Grace was depressed, she KNEW that, she just hoped.

Going back to the chalet Grace determined that things had to change. Joan was miserable. She was miserable too. Joan didn’t talk to her unless it was absolutely necessary. Many times she’d find Joan sitting on the deck looking off into the distances and rubbing her forehead scar. Grace wanted, needed to talk and be with her. She craved their intimacy. She missed sex but that could wait until Joan was ready, if ever. She missed Joan, she missed the things that made up the complex woman. She realized that she was being selfish and taking it all in decided to talk to Joan about it, whether she wanted to or not.

Upon entering the bedroom she saw that Joan was still asleep. She decided to let her sleep after her stress filled day. She went down and put away the cars. She walked D.O.G. and sat on the dock for awhile. Mrs. Richardson had left a hot dinner for them both and she ate alone. Grace looked over the mail, she’d been opening both their mail regardless of who it was addressed to for weeks. The discrepancy in her account had been explained by the bank. She couldn’t even ask Joan about the money and it frustrated her. Joan hadn’t thought twice about transfering the money to Graces account and Grace felt cheapened by it. The wedding had cost a lot and she’d not realized that her dividend check had been reinvested until she’d become hopelessly overdrawn. When she found out about Joan’s arrangements at the bank, she’d felt like a kept woman and was angered in being unable to talk to Joan about it.

Finally, Joan came downstairs looking for her own dinner and Grace prepared it for her. Leaving her to it she cleaned up the dishes and put away the leftovers. Then, not saying a word she poured a glass of wine for each of them. She left one for Joan on the table and left the room. Joan thought Grace must be angry with her. She usually tried to engage her in conversation about things she had no idea over. She finished her meal and enjoyed the wine. She rinsed her plate and silverware and put them in the dishwasher. Lonely now she went downstairs and found Grace watching the news. She grabbed one of the last books that she had read. She’d read almost all of them by now and sat at the end of the couch with the rest of her wine. Grace never said a thing.

Grace was trying to formulate what she wanted to say in her mind. She certainly didn’t want to leave the relationship. She wanted Joan the way she was but if that wasn’t possible she wanted to start again. Start anew. It would require Joan’s cooperation though. She wasn’t certain that could be obtained. Finishing up the news Grace turned off the TV and turned on some music. Sitting on the couch she poured another glass of wine and offered some to Joan who accepted. Then taking a deep breath she started to talk to Joan who had put down the book she hadn’t been really reading to pick up her wine.

Grace told Joan what she had been feeling. How sad she was that Joan didn’t talk to her. Didn’t ask questions. Didn’t confide. She was sorry about today and wished Joan had been able to call her. She mentioned she thought perhaps that Joan didn’t want her around. At no time did she mention the confidences that Kim had given her. She didn’t want Joan to feel defensive. She explained that she would like to start over. Perhaps, if Joan was willing they could get to know one another again. If Joan didn’t want her to sleep in the bedroom any longer she would move down to the guest room. Grace hated even bringing that up but felt she had to be fair.

Joan listened to it all. She waited until Grace was through and then began herself. She too was sorry that she didn’t feel comfortable with Grace. She was afraid of her. At this Grace asked why? Her face red Joan explained about finding the toys, she assured Grace she hadn’t been snooping, just looking for something to read and found the drawer of them. Grace explained that they were for when they were in the mood to use them, not all the time but sometimes they found they needed extra stimulation. If she wanted, Grace could remove them. They discussed various things that had bothered Joan. Joan had not in the past months since she woke up even spoke this much with Jason. She didn’t know if it was the wine but tonight she felt relaxed enough to talk with this kind woman who had been so very patient.. The bottom line was that she too would like to start over. Perhaps as friends and who knew where that would go. She didn’t want Grace to move out of the bedroom. She didn’t feel it would be fair as it was her bedroom too.

Grace felt the air at least had been cleared. Smiling she told Joan so. Joan agreed and then yawned loudly. Grace said she was heading to bed and turned off the stereo. Joan followed along. That night they chatted awhile before turning out the lights and going to sleep. For once Joan didn’t feel too uncomfortable at sharing the bed with another woman. She still wore sweats to bed but Grace had never even made a pass at her, so why worry?

Joan woke up to find that Grace had her arm around her holding her close in spoon fashion. At first she panicked but then she realized that Grace was totally relaxed in sleep. Inching out from under her arm she got out of bed. Looking down at Grace from what she could see in the early morning moonlight Joan watched her sleep for awhile. Thinking over their talk she realized she had been so wound up about Grace that she had never really given her a chance. Never asked her about anything in their previous relationship. She decided that would have to change. It wasn’t fair to either of them. She may not know this person but she had to give it a chance. She had obviously loved this person once, could she again? As the sun came up Joan went downstairs to make some breakfast.

Over the next week or so Joan spent less time avoiding Grace. When the boys or their spouses came by Joan asked them about Grace as well. For once she was taking an interest in their stories. She no longer just listened but asked questions. Slowly an idea of who Joan Woods had been began to take shape. She wasn’t sure that she could be that person again. She wasn’t sure she wanted to be that person again. She found the person they talked about to be intimidating, self centered, and not someone she was sure she could live up to. One day while Grace was at work she started reading over the notes for the second book. Grace and the boys had explained that the first book was put on indefinite hold until further notice. For lack of anything else to read Joan began reading the notes which were apparently in her own handwriting. When she came to the notes about the sketches for the portrait GRACE she was surprised at the feelings they generated in herself. It was obvious how hurt she had once been and making that painting had been a way to exorcise some of the feelings. The further notes explaining her love for Grace blew Joan’s mind. It was so beautiful. The portrait was such a tribute. She had totally underestimated the relationship. She hadn’t understood.

That evening they were chatting as they got ready for bed. Joan told Grace about what she had read. Grace was quiet. She had never read the explanation of that portrait. She felt so stupid for not having seen that the portrait GRACE was of HER. It never had occurred to her. Joan took her into the studio and showed her the passages about it. Grace was truly touched by it. It spoke of Joan’s agony until they had forgiven each other. It showed how much she loved her. She teared up after finishing Joan’s notes. Joan was watching her closely, seeing how it affected her.

“Grace?”

She looked up where she sat on the floor of the studio.

“Could I ask you to do something.” Joan was very uncomfortable but she was curious about something and screwing up her courage.

Grace stood up and said “of course.”

“I was wondering” she hesitated, she felt silly. Was it fair to ask? Then thought, nothing asked, nothing gained. “Would you, could you, kiss me?” She gulped, looking down at the floor and feeling foolish.

Grace was astonished. Of what Joan could ask her she hadn’t expected this. She bent over and gave Joan a quick peck on the lips. Joan looked up and laughed a little “that’s not quite what I meant.”

Grace didn’t respond. With what she was feeling from the passages she had read and with this woman she loved standing before her she thought, what the hell. She took Joan in her arms and lowered her mouth to Joan’s. At first Joan didn’t know what to do with her hands and lightly held Grace’s shoulders for balance. She didn’t respond at first but as Grace deepened the kiss she couldn’t help herself. She opened her lips and relaxed her jaw and Graces tongue plunged in. Joan thought she would have been grossed out but instead she felt a real delicious feeling inside. The feeling grew, as she stood there with Grace she gathered her close into her arms as well. Finally, Grace stood back and panting she gathered her wits.

Looking straight into Joan’s eyes which were dilated she asked if that was what Joan had in mind. Barely able to think Joan nodded and thanked her. Grace dropped her arms and returned to the bedroom. She went immediately to bed. Joan turned off the lights in the studio and closed the door. She went into the bedroom and saw that Grace was already in bed. Turning out those lights she got in on her side and with her back to Grace tried to sleep.

Grace had trouble going to sleep right away. She was very aroused. It had been so long. She’d suppressed that part of their relationship for a long time now. The kiss and Joan’s response had been such a surprise. She hoped that she hadn’t scared Joan away. Since they hadn’t talked about it, she didn’t know. She stomped down on her desires and emotions and tried to analyze it. She wasn’t too successful. When she finally did go to sleep it was to have dreams that she knew couldn’t be fulfilled.

Joan wasn’t surprised to find that she had trouble sleeping. The emotions that Grace had generated had totally taken her by surprise. She had been playing with fire she could see now. She wouldn’t do that again. It wasn’t fair when she knew that Grace was in love with who she used to be. It had been so nice though. Graces arms around her had made her feel comfortable and safe. That was a surprise. She hadn’t felt safe in a long time. She hadn’t known these people and been afraid for so long in their midst, not knowing them. Now Grace had made her feel safe? With the thought of how the kiss made her feel, she went to sleep. She woke to find Grace wrapped around her. Slipping out was harder this morning. Later Grace spotted her out on the deck with a steaming cup of hot cocoa.

Opening the patio door woke Joan from her reverie. She’d been thinking over the kiss and other things. What people had told her about Grace. The stories of their wedding and her beautiful ring stories. Grace came out with a cup of coffee in hand. It was a cold fall morning, brisk but the hint of a hot day to come. Perfect weather. Joan said good morning and Grace responded in like. She went on though.

“Joan, please don’t take this wrong. Don’t ask me again to kiss you like last night unless you are willing to take it to it’s natural conclusion.” Grace had thought it over and decided the best way to handle it was to be bold about it.

Joan nodded and said “All right. I’m sorry.”

“It isn’t that I want you to be sorry. I enjoyed it, I really did, but I just don’t want the emotions it generates to frighten you.” She knew that wasn’t a complete explanation but she wasn’t about to tell Joan how aroused it had made her.

“Actually, I enjoyed it myself.” Joan surprised both of them in answering.

Changing the subject, Grace and she chatted about the morning and then Grace went to shower and change for work.

Over the next month they really enjoyed each other’s company. Grace took her for rides in the Jaguar on the weekends. She told stories about places they had been and things they had done. Since Joan didn’t remember them they were all new to her. She relaxed as she hadn’t before. Occasionally she had a flash which she wasn’t certain was a memory so much as something one of them had told her. She discussed this with Jason and he said it was a good sign. She didn’t rest on those hopes though. She became resigned to never getting her memory back.

One thing Joan couldn’t get out of her mind though was the kiss that she and Grace had shared. Sometimes it generated in her a longing for she knew not what. Occasionally Grace unconsciously touched Joan. It wasn’t obvious and it was usually in private. A gesture or a slight touch on the shoulder. It was so natural to Grace that she didn’t realize she was even doing it. These didn’t panic Joan any longer. She began to think perhaps she wanted more from their relationship.

She was sitting on the deck enjoying a cup of cocoa one day as Craig and Aaron fished from their dock. All the kids were over today. She’d gotten used to it now. She didn’t feel so closed in with all these people. The grandchildren were a blast and she enjoyed their presence. The adults brought fresh news and occasional remembrances that she hoped would trigger something. She sat there staring off into nothing when she had a blinding headache. It hit the scar on her forehead before passing right through her skull to the base. Her indrawn breath of pain was heard by many. She grabbed her forehead with her hand and dropped her cup. Rushing to her side Grace asked her if she was okay. She asked for an aspirin. Two were rushed to her from the medicine cabinet. Sipping some water to get them down she decided to go lay down. Concerned Grace helped her to the couch inside. She lay there telling them that she was okay, she just had a blinding headache. Kim asked if she had them frequently but she told her no. She really hadn’t had any since she’d woken in the hospital.

Over the next few days she had more and more headaches. She tried to hide them from her family and especially from Grace. Sometimes though Grace could guess from the facial expressions. She found that sitting in the steamroom in the dark sometimes helped. Grace of course wanted her to see someone about it. Joan refused, telling Grace she felt it was all useless and that she wanted to stop seeing Jason three times a week as well. It didn’t help and was a waste of time. Grace didn’t argue with her much to her relief.

Over the next few weeks they became more intense. One Saturday afternoon the pain became unbearable and she tried the steamroom trick, but to no avail. It became so painful that she could feel herself losing her equilibrium. Grace found her sleeping in the robe from the steamroom on the couch in front of the entertainment system. Joan woke up as Grace tried to cover her up. Staring at Grace through one eye she asked her to please get her some aspirin. Grace got her 3 and she gulped them without a blink. It hurt to blink and the nausea from swallowing the water and pills she had to fight. Grace sat and watched her as she settled back down on the couch. After a long time the pain seemed to be subsiding. Grace was really getting angry at Joan and her stubbornness. She needed to see someone about the pain. Who knew what was going on in the brain? Joan ignored all her arguments and announced she was going into the Jacuzzi and then did so. Grace came in 15 minutes later and joined her, wearing a swimsuit. Joan was nude and at first uncomfortable but the bubbling hot water hid it and was relaxing her. Grace watched her and then asked if she’d like a massage. Suprised Joan looked at her. Grace explained that she had learned massage to help calm patients. Joan wasn’t so sure but Grace calmed her down telling her that it would be purely platonic and not to be so uptight about it. Okay, Joan agreed and got out of the Jacuzzi. Grace admired what she saw, missing what they had had but tried not to let Joan know that she was even looking. They went upstairs to the bedroom, Joan wearing a terry cloth robe from the steamroom.

Grace was right, the massage did the trick and the headache was gone. Joan was nearly asleep it felt so nice. So soothing, so relaxing. Then a problem arose as Joan realized she was becoming aroused. Grace wasn’t doing anything other than massaging her and Joan felt something beyond her control. Feigning sleep she found that Grace stopped and went to take a shower. She found herself watching into the glass enclosure. She could see Grace washing her body and this aroused her further. Surprised at herself she kept telling herself she should be ashamed. She wasn’t though. She had thought about the kiss forever and now being in this state she just couldn’t feel ashamed at her feelings. Furthermore, according to the pictures she had seen and what people had told her, they were married. She had wondered about this and what it meant for a long time.

Grace had been aroused by the massage as well. She remembered many times over the years where Joan had turned over during the massage and it led to other more delightful play. Relieved to hear Joan sleeping she hurried to take a shower, totally unaware that she was being observed. The shower aggravated her condition to a degree and she turned the water to cold. It didn’t help after all and she shut off the water. Reaching for a bath towel she dried herself and then her hair. Looking to where she thought Joan slept she was surprised to see Joan watching her. She went to her side of the bed and sat down as she finger combed her hair.

Joan reached up and touched Graces hand, stilling it. She pulled herself to a sitting position looking into Graces eyes. She leaned over and cupped Graces face. Grace froze as Joan kissed her. Pulling back Grace told her not to do that unless she intended to finish it. Joan put her hand on the back of Graces head and pulled her forward until her lips touched Joans. Grace no longer resisted. Her hands were inside Joan’s towelling robe in an instant, caressing, soothing, arousing. Joan hesitated, unsure of what to do but she knew what she wanted. She tugged at Grace’s towel until it pulled free. Kissing along Grace’s jawline she licked at her ear and below it. Grace moaned her enjoyment of the caress. Grace kneaded first one and then the other of Joan’s breasts. Joan was ecstatic at the feelings this aroused in her. She could feel herself becoming wet. Grace took care of that as well as she pushed Joan back on the pillows and covered her with her own body.

A long time later they lay cupped together in spoon fashion. Joan couldn’t believe the things that Grace had done and made her feel. They hadn’t even used the toys she thought with a laugh to herself remembering her fears. She felt so good. She didn’t know how or what to say to Grace. Finally, inadequately she had simply said “thank you.” Grace seemed to understand as she pulled Joan close to her body and held her.

Grace was feeling all sorts of emotions. She couldn’t believe what had just occurred over the last hour. Joan had been like a virgin again. She didn’t know what to do and copied Grace whenever she could with devastating results. Grace had been reminded of the first time they had been together. It had been explosive, good, and satisfying. Grace was sure that Joan didn’t realize that she’d moaned over and over again that she loved her. It made Grace sad to realized this wasn’t the Joan that she had known but a different one. Perhaps someday she would actually love her again. Meanwhile, she was grateful for this small moment of happiness. She truly hoped Joan would have no regrets.

Joan woke a few hours later. No headache but an odd euphoria seemed to grip her body. Stretching she could hear cracks in her ankles, her knees, and her arms. Suddenly she cracked her neck both ways and a blinding flash seemed to envelop her sight. Blinking back the sudden tears that this caused she waited while the pain dissolved. She was dizzy, almost nauseous. Gawd, that had hurt. She hadn’t felt a pain like that in years. Suddenly she realized she could remember the last time she’d felt that kind of pain. It had been in LA when she’d been in the sun for too long and almost had sunstroke. She realized she COULD remember LA. It wasn’t just as a story anymore. Surprised she started remembering other things as well. Oh my God she thought. It’s back, I’M back! She tried to sit up suddenly to tell Grace but the pain had not gone away and her sudden movement caused deep nausea. She lay there a long time breathing deep cleansing breathes to clear her and help with the nausea. She listened to Grace sleeping next to her on the bed but didn’t want to look over in case she threw up. She drifted off to sleep again. She woke and looked at the clock. It was 5AM. Slipping from the bed she had Grace draped over her again and was careful not to wake her. As she went to the bathroom she drew on her robe, tugging it from the bed. Walking downstairs she let out D.O.G.. He must be bursting she thought. He hadn’t been out since yesterday afternoon. She walked down to the dock with a steaming cup of cocoa to watch the sun come up. It was a bit cold in her terry cloth robe but she was enjoying the beautiful morning. She couldn’t wait until Grace woke up to share with her that she remembered everything.

Grace woke to a cold and empty bed. She thought about the previous afternoon. She’d enjoyed herself immensely. She’d waited so long to love Joan again. It had been worth it but now she wondered if Joan regretted it. Looking around she could see that Joan was gone from the room and that really worried her. She grabbed her satin robe and tied it about her waist as she went in search of Joan. She figured wherever D.O.G. was there would be Joan. She was partially right. She spotted Joan on the dock before she spotted D.O.G. on the lawn nosing through the morning grass. She was sure that Joan’s absence from the bed meant she was regretting their intimacy. She debated whether to join Joan or not and then figured what the hell. She fixed herself a cup of coffee and went down to the dock. Joan heard her on the path and turned from where she was watching the sun come up over the river.

Smiling Joan said “Good Morning.”

Grace had expected that Joan was feeling remorse. The smile threw her a bit. “Good Morning” came her own response.

Indicating the sunrise Joan said isn’t it beautiful? Grace agreed watching her, not the sunrise. Joan turned back to watch the sun. A bit of steam seemed to rise on the river. Joan suddenly had an idea. Turning back to Grace she said “how about a swim?”

Startled out of watching her and the sunrise Grace answered “are you crazy? It’s the beginning of October for crying out loud. We’d freeze!” But she was too late as Joan stripped off her robe and dove from the end of the dock. Grace called to her from where she stood as she surfaced “Joan! You’ll die of pneumonia, get back here.” Joan just smiled and dove again coming up farther out. D.O.G. saw the fun Joan was having and running down the dock he too jumped with a huge splash and proceeded to swim to Joan. Joan greeted him but pushed him away laughing. Joan called to Grace to come on in, the water was fine. Grace laughed and said “NO, I don’t think so.”

Joan teased her for awhile and then said “I know a way to get you in here.”

Grace was sure that she wouldn’t be going into that cold river at 6 in the morning on a fall day. “Yea, what?”

“I remembered” Joan called.

“You remembered what?” Grace asked.

“Everything” Joan answered with a beguiling smile. With that she started swimming further out.

Grace called to her but she wouldn’t answer. Finally Grace threw off her own robe and dove into the river. She swam hard towards Joan, she passed the dog on his way to shore. It took awhile but Joan wasn’t swimming hard and she’d heard the splash, she’d slowed down so Grace could catch up. Grace was right the water was freezing but so invigorating. If you didn’t stop and kept moving the adrenaline kept you warm. “What did you remember?” she asked as she came up.

Joan turned around with a smile. Her braids were plastered to her head. Grace could see the sparkle in her eyes. “Everything.”

“Everything as in everything?” She was astounded. She treaded water trying to comprehend it all and what it meant.

“Yes. I think those headaches meant something after all.” Joan felt good. She twirled around in the water in her joy. She started swimming towards shore. It was cold!

Grace swam in tandem with her. Her thoughts were going a mile a minute. Oh my gawd, she had Joan back!

They reached the dock and pulled themselves up. Laughing, Joan rushed for her terry robe and Grace for her satin one which was useless. Joan grabbed Graces hand and they ran up the steps to the chalet. Into the steamroom they ran and turned it on full blast. Joan let D.O.G. into the house but ordered him to stay in his kennel, she’d deal with wet dog smell later. Graces teeth were chattering and they both took a plunge into the Jacuzzi before sitting in the steamroom once it had warmed up. They talked for hours that day, catching up. Laying in bed together they just couldn’t get enough of each other, the relief, the love. They shared it all.

It was 6pm and they were making dinner together. It was so nice, everything was familiar to Joan once again. She still didn’t know where everything in the kitchen was but that was because she never had as she avoided cooking as much as possible. They were joking and teasing when the tone for the gate sounded. Looking at the monitor Joan saw that Bryan was coming to call. She met him at the door with a smile. Accompanying him was Kim. Joan was delighted to see her as well and gave her a hug. Kim had helped her a lot these past few months as well as becoming a friend.

Neither Joan nor Grace mentioned that Joan’s memory had returned yet. Instead they invited the couple to dinner with them. Joan, knowing her son as well as she did, knew something was on his mind. They spoke of neutral subjects, a habit everyone had gotten into so as not to leave Joan out of conversations over the past few months. Kim talked about her clinic, something Joan and Grace both were interested in. She’d had to hire several additional doctors, nurses, and techs. Joan made a mental note to be sure she had the funds for her own lab available but said nothing.

Dinner over they all pitched in and cleared the table, putting their used dishes in the dishwasher. In no time it was cleared away and they were sitting, chatting in the sunken living room drinking wine. Joan got up to let out D.O.G. and watched him from the deck as he went about his business. Joan was enjoying the moonlight and the quiet night sounds, drinking her wine when Bryan joined her.

“Mom?”

Turning towards him she smiled. Her tall handsome son. Something had been on his mind for awhile she could tell. She’d be patient though and wait for him to tell her.

“Mom, I have something I’ve been wanting to discuss with you for awhile.” He looked down at the dog sniffing around at the weeds. “I wanted to wait until, well you know, until you got your memory back, but I don’t want to wait anymore, that may not happen.” He looked embarrassed at this lack of faith in his opinion. He’d waited for months for her to get back to ‘normal’. In Kim’s opinion it may never happen and he’d resigned himself to it.

“Don’t put things on hold for me” she said alarmed. She went to tell him she’d gotten her memory back but he interrupted.

“I want to marry Kim” he said quickly before he changed his mind to tell her.

Not really surprised but very pleased she smiled up at him and gathered him into her arms. She hadn’t been a touchy person since the hospital. She’d been so distant to everyone, holding them at arms length. Not allowing physical contact had been a defense mechanism and very effective. Bryan was surprised and pleased to find his mother hugging him after all this time. He craved knowing his old mom but Kim assured him the new one was just as knowable. Holding him brought back memories of her baby. Her baby was going to get married. Where had all the time gone? Giving him a bear hug as of old, he looked at her suspiciously. The new Joan didn’t hug, didn’t touch. The old one did and he looked at her for a moment and with her grin realized what had happened.

“Mom?”

“Yes?” she answered all innocently.

“Do you have something to tell me?” His tone matched her joking one.

“Hmmm, maybe.” Her smile though told him everything.

Just then D.O.G. returned from his nightly run. The three of them returned to the living room.

Grace and Kim were having a ‘shop’ talk. They looked up and Grace could tell by Joan’s anticipatory smile that Bryan knew.

Joan glanced at Kim’s ring finger but didn’t see a ring on it. Bryan saw her look and looked at her alarmed, shaking his head. She raised her eyebrow in question to Bryan and he knew his old Mom was back, it said a lot but without words. Frowning, he shook his head and then leaned it to the side to indicate The Ring sketch framed and hung over the fireplace. Frowning in return she looked at him in question. She headed for the kitchen where they could talk and he followed.

“You haven’t asked?” was her first question to him.

“No, but we’ve discussed it. I told you I wanted to wait until...” he drifted quiet, uncomfortable.

“What about the Ring?” she asked.

“Well, I want to design one for her but I don’t know where to begin. I thought that was so romantic what you did for Grace.” He felt like a little boy again in front of his mother. “I don’t want to wait months though for them to make it.”

Thinking a moment she studied him, then “well, what do you want it to look like then?”

“That’s part of the problem, I don’t know” he felt very foolish now. He knew he wanted Kim in his life forever but couldn’t decide on what he wanted the ring to look like.

Rolling her eyes at her son’s foolishness she answered “well, why don’t you come by tomorrow and perhaps we can sketch it out together?”

Relief shown in his eyes. His mother was BACK. She had an answer to something that meant a lot to him. He was certain of Kim’s answer but wanted the symbol to be very special. Giving her a quick hug they went back to the living room together.

Grace and Kim were still chatting but Kim looked up puzzled at the two of them as they sat down. Giving Bryan a ‘what’ kind of look. Joan sat there laughing silently at his being uncomfortable. Grace gave her a look too in question.

“So, Kim, you were right” Joan began.

Alarmed, Bryan tried to get her attention.

Kim looked at her with questions in her eyes “which time?” she asked.

Smiling a sideways sort of smile Joan answered “that if I relaxed and let time heal me, things would come back to me.”

“Your getting your memories back?” Kim answered excitedly. Joan could see the relief in Bryan’s demeanor out of the corner of her eye.

“All of them” Joan answered.

“Really, when did this happen?”

“In the last couple of days.”

Kim looked at her speculatively for a moment. She was genuinely happy for this woman. In the months that she had come to know Bryan’s mom, she had come to care for her. In the months since the accident though she’d become a real friend. She was concerned though at the abruptiveness of the return of her memory. “How did it happen? What triggered it?” she asked.

Not about to tell them that making love to Grace had really triggered things, Joan almost choked to suppress her laughter. Grace’s eyes almost bugged out of her head thinking that Joan would do it just for the shock value alone. “Oh, I had a few blinding flashes that led up to it. Then believe it or not the other night...” she trailed off realizing that Grace was about to burst. She couldn’t hold back her laughter for a second. To the listeners of her tale she sounded mad for a moment before she continued “I cracked my neck the other night and it really hurt bad, the worst blinding flash happened then. I realized I could remember things again. The headaches I’ve been having too are gone” she finished. She smiled at Grace over what she thought would be said to have triggered her memory.

Grace shook her head at Joan’s teasing. She grinned in response as well. She’d thought for a moment there that Joan was going to tell them. They had been so discreet over the years it had become second nature to both of them.

“You should stop in at the hospital and have the neurology department run some tests to make sure things are okay” Kim told her seriously. Not understanding the laughter or the looks Grace and Joan were exchanging. She figured it must be because of their joy at the return of the memories.

“What so they can tell me if I have half a brain?” asked Joan in a mocking voice, still amused.

“Exactly” said Grace and Bryan at the same moment. They exchanged looks and joined in the laughter this generated.

Kim and Grace continued to try to convince Joan to get a check up and by the end of the evening had her pretty well convinced to see someone later that week. Bryan and Kim left together and Bryan whispered to his mother ‘tomorrow’ as he gave her a hug goodbye.

Joan couldn’t wait to tell Grace the news and they discussed the couple until they went to bed that evening.

Joan was already changed into a nightgown and in bed as she watched Grace get ready for bed. She watched as Grace brushed her teeth, and her hair, not with the same brush of course. Grace washed her face with water and smoothed lotion on it and rubbed the same lotion into her hands. Rubbing the excess up her arms, she cleaned the sink, turned out the lights in the bathroom and looked up to realize Joan was watching her every move. Walking towards the bed she said “what?”

Shaking her head in response, Joan pulled the bedclothes down for Grace to get in. When Grace was settled in and had turned out the light on her side of the bed, the only light that shown was the one on Joan’s side of the bed at her back. Joan still continued to watch Grace. Grace returned the steady, intense look for awhile and as she began to feel uncomfortable Joan reached out to caress her face. Her fingertips went along the jaw line. Her eyes focused on where her hand touched. She gently caressed along under her ear, the edge of her neckline, her shoulder, her collarbone, to return to her jawline. Grace turned and gently kissed her fingertips. Joan pulled her hand back and continued to watch Grace. Finally Grace could wait no more and asked “what are you thinking?”

Smiling gently Joan looked at her with heavy eyelids. She told her how grateful she was to have Grace in her life. How much crapola Grace had put up with over the years. How much she truly loved her.

Grace felt touched to the bottom of her heart. She told Joan how honored she was to share her life. How lost she had felt without her. That good or bad, she loved this woman to the bottom of her heart.

Embracing, they cuddled and went to sleep.

~ CHAPTER 40 ~

Bryan and Joan worked together on a ring that symbolized his love for Kim. He loved the ring that Joan had given Grace but would not of course duplicate it. She asked him what felt like a million questions about Kim’s likes and dislikes to get a feel for what would be a good ring to create. He rejected several designs. Finally, one day he took her to Kim’s apartment while she was at work and let his mother walk around. He and Kim spent a lot of time here and he had a key so he felt at ease. Joan didn’t rifle through anything but the hangings on the wall and the feel for the place gave her some idea of the woman that her son was in love with. She was surprised to find that Kim was an outdoorsy type of person. She hadn’t felt that before. Using this she designed a sketch that showed flowing water to a gem. Bryan loved the design. The flowing water encircled the finger but flowed until stopped with the gem or started again on the other side. He chose a blood red ruby for that gem. It was Kim’s birthstone and he had it cut into an oval. The jewelers in Wausau promised the design in a month.

Joan couldn’t keep it secret from Craig and Adam about her memories returning and with that in mind within a few days she showed up in both their offices to let them know. Craig was thrilled for her and immediately tried to get down to business. Several items needed her attention but she managed to hold him off until she was finished with Bryan’s design.

Adam was equally thrilled with her returning to normal. He had news for her. Gwen was pregnant again. He was to be a father for the second time. Realizing that they had known for awhile, Joan was grateful that he had finally told her but annoyed that he had waited too. Admonishing him for the delay she also told him to lay off as Gwen needed a longer time between babies. It was fine for him, but Gwen’s body needed years to recover from one baby to the next. He’d better pay more attention she felt. Enough of the lecture sank in that Adam was more solicitous to his wife during the rest of her pregnancy and after as well. He didn’t want to lose Gwen. They wanted a large family, but not at the price it could exact. He even went with her to the doctor’s office to inquire after his wives health. The doctor agreed that perhaps their next one should be a few years after this one. Adam took this all to heart, treating Gwen as though she were a queen. Gwen on the other hand was getting sick of the treatment and finally blew up at him to get him to return to ‘normal.’ It would take awhile but he was careful of her all the same.

Joan and Grace heard personally from Lieutenant Gillespie that no charges would be filed against Joan for defending herself against Beth. Beth was not competent to stand trial and would be in a long term health care facility the rest of her life. Her family had considered filing charges and bringing a lawsuit against Joan but the their lawyer in talking with Joans lawyer decided to convince them otherwise. The police were on Joans side and with the money that would be thrown in defense of Joan, there would be no winning of such a case. It was a pretty clear case of self defense.

Bryan took Joan and Grace with him when he picked up the ring. Grace had seen the sketches but the reality of it was incredible. The flowing water appeared to flow right into the ruby or from which took ones breath away. She told Bryan if Kim didn’t love it, she’d take it anyday. Joan looked at her in surprise but Grace just winked at her.

Bryan had made reservations at Anson’s for the two of them. Grace had made sure Kim had a suitable dress to wear. Kim wasn’t one to worry about clothes for the most part but Grace said Anson’s was a pretty fancy place and if Bryan was going to take her out for a night on the town, she should feel up to it. Kim never suspected. Bryan had taken her many places over the months that they were together. They spent half their time at his place and the other half at hers. They were practically living together anyway. He had helped her to buy several outfits that she asked him to so she fit in with his crowd and family. He was just as content though in jeans and a T-shirt as he was in an Armani suit. You would never know his family had money. He never flaunted it, except for the BMW. He never made her uncomfortable about her not having money either. Although Bryan was several years younger than Kim, he acted and treated her so very well it was soon forgotten. Kim knew she loved this man.

Anson’s was nestled along the river. It had a long banquet hall that faced the river and when not used for a banquet would often be rented out for weddings, parties, or whatever. Bryan and Kim were seated in a corner near one of the fireplaces. Their white linen covered table had a beautiful candle on it lighting their faces. Long rows of windows gave the diners fantastic views of the lawns leading down to the river bank. Boats would dock on the river and people walk up to dine at Anson’s. A nice wine accompanied their meal. Kim was feeling so sexy in the dress she had chosen with Grace. Bryan looked elegant in a suit from London. His tie was just so on his neck. The matching handkerchief peeking from his pocket.

They brought out strawberries and real whipped cream for desert. A nice champagne was poured. Kim and Bryan never ran out of conversation the entire evening. She noticed though how quiet he got as the champagne was poured. She always watched things he did so that she didn’t make social blunders. Since he didn’t drink the champagne, she didn’t touch hers either. They finished the strawberries and cream. Whipping his face he carefully refolded his napkin and the waiter took away their dishes and cleared the table except for the champagne. While Kim was looking out the window at the sunset, Bryan slipped the ring box to her side of the table and waited for her to notice it. Turning back from the view she looked into his intense expression. Funny how his eyes were exactly like his mothers, she thought, not in color but in shape. It took her several moments to realize his eyes were boring into hers for a reason. He reached out and held his hand out to her. She put hers in his as she noticed the ring box. Her eyes opened wide staring at it. Looking up at him in alarm she noticed his eyes twinkling. The little smile on his handsome face reminded her of his mother too. The little smile widened as he asked “Kim, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife and living and loving with me forever?”

Kim was floored. They had spoken once or twice about the eventual possibility but she hadn’t expected it now. It had been months since they last spoke of it. She knew with the upheaval in his life concerning his mother he’d been worried and wouldn’t commit to anything then. Now in the last month or so things had returned to a somewhat normal state. All this flashed through her mind and she stared at him in shock. She realized she’d been somewhat obtuse. Looking down at the box and then back into his beautiful green eyes, her own began to tear as she nodded dumbly. He quickly fell to his knees to wrap his arms around her as she began to silently cry delighted tears. She fought the tears but she was so happy. This beautiful, sophisticated man made her so happy. That he wanted her in his life forever meant so much to her. Choking back the sobs that wished to escape she sought to kiss him. Bryan returned the kiss wholeheartedly. Finally, she got control of the tears and looked down at the box again. Bryan flicked it open to reveal the ring. She was astounded. She’d never seen something like this in her life. Bryan explained the symbolism of it and she saw it even before he finished telling her. He asked her if she liked it. She did, she really, truly did, it was so beautiful and made for her by this wonderful man. What woman in her right mind would say no to such a ring? The water in gold looked so real in it’s own way. She loved rubies, always wanted one but could never afford one. She finally looked up into his beautiful eyes, gulped, and said “yes, Bryan, I’ll marry you.” With that she flung her arms around his neck.

Bryan was thrilled with her reactions. She looked so vulnerable with the tears in her eyes. The ring was beautiful and he was so happy she liked it. This beautiful intelligent woman loved him and wanted to marry him. He hugged her back, hard. After a minute though he set her back looking into her face to see how happy she was, and she WAS happy he could see. He took the ring out of the box and took her left hand. He gently placed it on the third finger looking into her face as he pushed it on the finger to it’s base. She looked up and kissed him.

Other diners began to clap. They both looked up embarrassed and flushed. Bryan returned to his seat from his kneeling position. He didn’t release her hand. They drank their champagne to each other in salute.

~ CHAPTER 41 ~

Allan was thrilled to hear from Joan. He immediately set about the release of her first book. She finished up her second one, reviewing all the notes she had taken. She hesitated to put in the notes about GRACE but felt since Grace already knew about it that it wouldn’t harm anyone. She even began painting again. The horror that she felt during her amnesia she poured out into several paintings. They came out quite scary, haunting, mystical. It was enough, it was a catharsis to her. She closed that chapter in her life and moved on from it.

Craig and she had several meetings over the course of the next few weeks. He didn’t really need her she felt and had handled her investments wisely. He’d even purchased both studio’s in New York and remodeled them according to what he felt she would want. Looking over the plans and pictures she only had a few suggestions to make. One studio would display her works and other current artists’, the other studio would specialize in artwork from other centuries. It was a massive undertaking but Craig and Bryan had enjoyed the challenge. It was new, it was special, and it honored their mothers wishes they felt. They’d done a terrific job and Joan would have to go to some huge parties to open the new studio’s. Everyone who was anyone in the art world would be invited. They scheduled it so that it would coincide with the release of the first book. Everyone invited who would rsvp’d yes would receive a signed copy. Very few who were invited refused. The guest list swelled. Allan was ecstatic. He hadn’t had this much work and fun since the tour. He found an excellent husband and wife team to manage the galleries for Joan, Craig, and Bryan. They flew in to Wausau for a weekend to meet with the three of them. Joan was happy. Craig was happy. Bryan didn’t care since he was more concerned about his upcoming proposal. The party was due to be a success in the next month.

Grace was happy to see Joan so busy. She seemed to hum along when she was this busy. She’d find Joan in her studio daily, absentmindedly painting. Taking no note of the time or her surroundings. She’d find Joan there in the middle of the night sometimes, unable to sleep, some detail that needed finishing. Incredible work came out of those hands. It was nice to have the ‘old’ Joan back, although there were parts of the ‘new’ Joan there as well. Grace was able to settle into her own position. She was busy now that she was chief. One day, no one in her department was available and she had to run down to the ER to assess a patient that they wanted to keep overnight. She remembered meeting with him one day about 8 months ago for another consult. They hadn’t kept him then because he wasn’t dangerous to himself or others but today they would keep him. His behavior was erratic, he was talking with himself, he was not making sense, babbling to someone or something. After signing his admission papers Grace made plans to visit with him later. She had a staff meeting to attend at 3 and wasn’t able to see him in the psychiatric ward until almost 4:30. His behavior had calmed by then. She took off his restraints and began talking to him. Before she knew it he attacked her. It took two orderlies to pull him off of her but by then she was badly hurt.

The phone was ringing and Joan was annoyed that the answering machine wasn’t apparently on. Furthermore, where the heck was Mrs. Richardson. Looking at the clock required her to focus before it penetrated that it was after 5 and Mrs. Richardson had probably left for the day. Sighing, Joan put down her paintbrush in a can a spirits to clean it. She picked up the extension on what had to be the twelfth ring.

“WHAT?” The annoyance and exasperation were clear in her voice.

“Joan?!” confusion at the abrupt answer was apparent.

Recognizing Jason’s voice Joan relaxed a bit but was still distracted looking at her painting and realizing something she needed to do. “Hi, Jason, no offense but I don’t want to see you anymore except socially” she joked.

“Joan, I’m not calling about that. It’s Grace. There’s been an accident here at the hospital. Could you come and get her?”

Alarmed Joan became very calm “what kind of an accident?” Surely it couldn’t be bad if he was calling to have her take Grace home.

“A patient attacked her. She’s been pretty beaten up.” The anger and disgust were in Jason’s voice.

“Is she in the ER?” Joan was trying to remain calm.

His yes had her telling him she would be there in a few minutes as she hung up the extension. Joan ran out of the room tearing off her painting smock. She ran down the stairs stumbling on the last couple, she thought, great I’ll break an ankle if I don’t slow down. She went into the kitchen and turned off the oven which held their dinner. She grabbed her jacket and keys and headed out the door. She pushed the button on her keyring for the door to the carriage house and then the one to remote start the Mercedes. It took her moments to get into it and she didn’t bother warming it up, she just backed out and tore down the driveway, punching the button for the gate as the garage door closed behind her. She sped through the gate which closed behind her automatically and sped down the black topped road. Taking the curve at the end she skidded a little and told herself to slow down. Once on the highway she sped, her European engine revving up the road. She was soon downtown and roaring into the ER bay. She parked in the emergency area and ran inside.

At the desk she asked where she could find Dr. Grace Monroe? She was told if she sat in chairs someone would be with her shortly. Exasperated she dismissed him and began to look around to see if she knew anyone. She started down the hall. The desk clerk was like “hey you can’t go down there!” He sent security after her. She spotted Jason leaving a room and as security grabbed her arms she yelled to him. Trying to unsuccessfully shake off security she tried to tell them to let go but they wouldn’t. With a foot wrapped around one guys leg she shoved him down as the other tried to grab her around the middle. She bent over at the waist and threw him over her. They both lay there stunned as she continued down the hall, she’d barely changed her breathing. Jason looked on in bemusement shaking his head. He held out his hand to stop the guards from coming after her again. Grabbing his arm Joan asked “what happened?”

Jason again waved off the security guards who apparently wanted retribution. He angrily looked over Joan’s shoulder at them until they backed down and limped away. Heads all down the corridor were watching. His glance had them popping back to work. The desk clerk though leaned over the desk watching with his mouth open at everything he’d just witnessed.

“A schizophrenic patient attacked her. She’d been beaten pretty bad by the time the orderlies pulled him off of her.” He looked at her waiting for her to explode. Instead to his surprise she seemed to slump before his eyes.

“Where were the orderlies that they didn’t stop it FROM happening?” she asked.

“They were at the door but Grace was speaking to him next to his bed.”

“Why wasn’t he secured so he couldn’t harm her?”

“He had been, Grace released the restraints, she didn’t feel he was a threat.” You could hear the annoyance in his voice. Shaking her head Joan went to go in the room. Jason stopped her a moment “prepare yourself, it looks bad.”

Alarmed Joan shoved the door open. He was right it did look bad. Grace lay there with her eyes closed. Her blond hair was disheveled. Her right eye was bandaged and beneath the bandages bruising in brilliant reds could be seen. Her lip was cut. Her left wrist was in a cast. A monitor quietly beeped by her side as an IV dripped into her arm. She looked a mess. Joan went to her right side and took her hand in hers. At her touch Grace opened her one good eye. She was relieved to see Joan there. The last hour or so had been terrible. She tried to smile but her split lip was painful. Joan looked at her sympathetically. She held Graces hand and gave it a squeeze as she reached to straighten Graces hair.

“Well, you’ve really done it this time haven’t you?” Joan joked.

A slight nod and a blink in answer. Grace was trying hard not to smile at her. It hurt too much.

A doctor that Joan hadn’t noticed in the room approached the bed. She looked up as she was finger combing Graces hair, nearly poking Graces one good eye.

“Hello, I’m Doctor Macey, are you Grace’s partner?” he asked very solicitously. He’d heard of Joan through the hospital scuttlebutt. She was not someone that you messed with. She had too much money, too much power.

Smiling she nodded. She asked what Graces condition was. He told her that Grace had a cracked cheekbone, a cracked wrist, and a broken rib. Joan glanced down at Graces rib cage but it was covered by the hospital gown. She’d had a bloody nose but it was not broken. A worried expression replaced the joking one she’d had. Her eyes looked into Graces one good one. Grace was trying to tell her that it was nothing but could only talk out of part of her mouth. Joan shushed her with a finger. Dr. Macey told Joan that Grace should stay overnight, Grace protested at this, but he continued saying that with careful care she could go home in a couple of hours but must remain in bed several days. Asking what she could and could not do Joan quietly interrogated him. He was glad to leave her when she was done with her thorough questions. Jason stood there and Joan asked him again about the patient who’d attacked Grace. He repeated what he’d told her, adding little. He told her he was restrained upstairs and would be treated there. He left her and Grace alone. Joan turned her worried eyes on Grace.

“How do you feel?” Joan felt foolish asking.

“How do I look?” Grace mumbled around her split lip. It was swelling horribly. She’d been punched not only in the mouth but repeatedly in the eye socket. They could remove that bandage in a day or two and she’d have to have an ophthalmologist examine it again. They didn’t foresee any permanent damage. Her ribs were taped. She had a cast on her arm enclosing her wrist.

Grinning Joan answered “not your best. Are YOU okay?” she emphasized.

Nodding, closing her good eye, she squeezed Joan’s hand in response.

Three hours later after Grace had taken a nap, Joan took her home. She had pills and bandages for Graces care. They wheeled her out in a wheelchair to the Mercedes. The desk clerk had tried to have it towed but administration had refused to have it towed when Jason had mentioned to the powers that be who’s car was parked there and why. Grace couldn’t get dressed back into her blouse and jacket which were blood spattered anyway but she did wear her pants and scrubs. Joan refused to let her wear her heels. She looked a sight getting into the car. Joan drove her carefully home and got her slowly into bed.

Joan kept her pretty drugged up for the next three days. Jason came by to check on her twice a day. Joan sponge bathed her, careful not to press on the bruises. She fed Grace chicken soup that she actually made herself. No can’s to everyone’s amazement. Grace laughed if this was what it took for Joan to cook... The soup was good too! Bite sized chunks of chicken breast, evenly sliced carrots and celery, noodles cut just so. She made a large pot of it and put it all in meal sized containers to last several days. She even had all the dishes in the dishwasher before Mrs. Richardson could see the mess she had made. She cleaned up the kitchen too. The only way Mrs. Richardson even knew something had been made was the amount of dishes in the washer and the additional containers of soup in the freezer. Joan gave her soup and toast, soup and crackers, soup and fruit, for her various meals. After three days she allowed Grace to get up and take a well needed shower. Grace had had sweating nightmares and the sponge baths hadn’t been enough. She’d been amazed though, this was a side of Joan she’d never thought to see. Yes, Joan had been a parent once to three little boys but she never acted like this nowadays. When Grace had come on to the scene the boys were men and didn’t need their mom for things like this. To be on the receiving end was quite pleasant but still unnerving. Joan kept her amused when she was awake, she had an uncanny ability to know when Grace was awaking. She kept reading materials convenient. She even read things to her. She helped Grace to the bathroom when necessary. She even helped her wash her hair and take that first shower with a bag over her wrist cast. Nothing but impersonal hands helped Grace.

The guys and their wives came by. Kim came by with and without Bryan. Her ring flashed on her left hand and she told both Joan and Grace about the proposal. She thanked Joan for the design but Joan assured her that it was Bryan’s idea, her drawings rendered only from his descriptions. Kim no longer was in awe of this woman. She loved and respected both Joan and Grace. They were becoming like surrogate parents to her. Her own parents were far away and she’d written them, informing them of her engagement and that was all. These two women and the guys and their wives were more family than her own had ever been. They’d welcomed her into the family as their own. She worried sometimes if she deserved these wonderful people. Bryan made sure she knew she was loved by all but especially by him.

Kim removed the bandage after 3 days from Graces eye. Some of the puffiness had gone down but the bruising was shocking. Black, blue, red, and green colors that would all fade to yellow in time made it appear worse than it was. Fortunately, the cracked cheekbone hadn’t caused any further damage. The tapes on her ribs were removed shortly thereafter. It was decided to leave the cast on for a few extra days as well when Joan took Grace in for a check up.

Joan finally went in for her cat scan of her head. She still became dizzy occasionally and had headaches but overall she felt fine. The results though she dismissed and moved on from there to focus on Grace.

During all this time Joan didn’t let on how she was feeling. Her concern over Graces well being was apparent. No one realized how truly angry she was though. When Grace was asleep Joan would go down to the basement and pound the hell out of the bag there for an hour at a time. She’d go until the sweat rolled down her body and she was exhausted. She’d quickly shower downstairs and change. Her nightly jogs she halted until Grace was creeping around the house. It was over a week until she felt well enough to go into work. Joan would have kept her home longer but Grace felt she needed to work with the schizophrenic man who had done this. Since Graces Jaguar was stick, Joan let Grace drive her Mercedes in that first day and Joan drove the Jag back to the chalet. Early in the afternoon Grace came home fatigued from her half day. She found Joan downstairs beating the hell out of the punching bag. Joan didn’t even hear the tone from the gate or the front door opening. She didn’t hear Graces conversation with Mrs. Richardson. She didn’t hear Grace come down the stairs and watch in alarm as Joan worked herself into a frenzy punching, high kicking, and beating at the bag and cushions in the workout area. She sat on the steps watching as Joan repeatedly kicked and punched at them. Her face was a mask of determination. A half an hour went by, Grace had no idea how long Joan had been at it. She watched as Joan slowed down her frenzy and finally stopped, her head hanging down, the sweat trickling down her body. Joan went into the shower without even noticing Grace sitting there. Grace went upstairs and waited in their bedroom for Joan to appear.

Half an hour later Joan came upstairs and put her sweat soaked clothes in the sorter. There was enough for a load so she started one of the sweats and other clothes. She was dressed in a terry robe as she came into the bedroom. Her wet braids hanging down her back on the inside of the robe. She stopped surprised to see Grace sitting at the windows of their bedroom looking out into the woods. Grace turned when she heard Joan in the bedroom and their eyes met across the room.

With a big smile Joan greeted her “Hello there! Your home early.” She gave no indication that she’d been doing anything other than her usual routine.

Grace studied Joan for a second before replying “Yes, I thought a half day would be enough, I’m kinda tired already.” She’d been thinking about what she’d seen downstairs and what it meant. Joan always took her frustrations in her art or personal life out that way so she could calmly handle them when needed. This wasn’t normal though. The sweaty frenzy that Grace had observed had been more fanatical than she’d ever seen. Joan usually was very well controlled when she worked out. Occasionally she punched or kicked longer to alleviate something that was bothering her but this time it caused Grace some concern. She was hoping that Joan would confide in her about what was bothering her. Instead she watched as Joan went to her dresser for underwear, jeans, a blouse, and socks. She sat on the bench at the end of their bed and began to dress. Chatting with Grace she said perhaps Grace should go to bed to rest after she ate, keeping her tone neutral Grace agreed. Her body still ached in odd ways. The assault had been particularly brutal. With sudden realization it occurred to her that Joan’s behavior had altered since the night at the hospital. Whenever Grace had been sick with a cold or flu, Joan had become overly concerned. This time though she’d really taken particular care of Grace. Grace had appreciated it but realized now that they hadn’t really discussed the incident. She tried to bring it up now but Joan, finishing up her dressing, brushed her off and left the room.

Puzzled Grace followed her downstairs. Joan picked at the late lunch that Mrs. Richardson had put out for them. Grace ate lightly, a sandwich and some salad. She was tired, the morning had taken it out of her. Meeting with the patient had been difficult but she had to show him that despite what he had done to her she was still sticking with him. He didn’t remember, his other personality having done the damage to her. It would be a long road with him but she was willing to try. She had to try. Her own fears would choke her otherwise. She tried to explain some of this to Joan but she didn’t want to hear it and abruptly left the table. Grabbing a sweater jacket she held the door for D.O.G. as she went out on the deck and sat watching him chase a squirrel. Grace couldn’t eat another thing, she went and followed Joan out to the deck.

“What the heck is wrong with you?” she asked, disregarding her doctor’s demeanor.

Joan looked up surprised. Grace looked ghoulish with her multicolored skin around her left eye and her normal one glaring at her. Cocking an eyebrow in response she answered “what are you talking about?”

Grace sat down in a chair opposite Joan’s. Leaning forward she took one of Joan’s hands into hers. She tried to explain to Joan about the attack and what happened. Joan tried to pull her hand away but Grace wouldn’t let go. Sighing in resignation, Joan held herself stiffly as she listened. Grace told her about the attack. She told how he punched her over and over, he stomped on her rib as the orderlies pulled him off of her. She told how they had rushed her to the ER fearing that the rib had punctured her lung. She told her fears and how she wanted to help this patient. She ended with telling Joan how much she appreciated her taking care of her. How much she loved her. How she had seen her today in her frenzy.

At this Joan looked up alarmed. A secret had slipped. She’d been so concerned about Grace the past few days she’d worked on auto pilot. Graces desire to go back to work so soon had annoyed her. Her desire to help the patient who had caused all this angered her. Joan’s own inability to do anything about it all had brought on a rage. She’d been keeping things in check over the past days by taking them out on the punching bag and cushions. She wasn’t used to being the one taking care of things of this nature. Write a check, fine, things were fixed. She couldn’t write a check though to fix this. In her frustration she’d stopped communicating with Grace and she knew nothing of Joan’s feelings. Taking a deep breath she told Grace all this, she told her feelings, her emotions over it all. She told Grace how she felt about her job, how she’d always worried, that this incident had confirmed all her worst fears over the years. She hadn’t wanted Grace to know how she hated some of the people that Grace had to deal with. The people that were sick in this manner. It wasn’t often that people like this, this severe, came into Graces sphere of work but it was always a possibility.

Grace was really stunned. She’d known over the years that Joan didn’t feel comfortable around some of her patients, but not to this extent. Joan’s fears, real and justified, had all been confirmed. She couldn’t defend her job. Joan understood her need to help others, her desire to be the best psychiatrist she could. It was the danger involved in dealing with the mentally unstable that got Joan. They could be so unpredictable and this was what bothered her. This attack had brought all she was feeling to the forefront. Her own illness had compounded the worries she felt regarding Grace.

They sat there discussing things for hours. Each other’s fears. Each others emotions. It brought them closer than they had felt since the wedding. Grace understood Joan’s hatred of the job, how uneasy she felt. Joan understood Grace and her need to help others. They finally discussed the money that Joan had deposited in Graces account. Grace explained how hurt, how kept, how insulting it seemed to her. Joan explained that it didn’t really mean anything to her, the money. She was comfortable, she hadn’t wanted Grace to have any worries, what was hers was Graces. It was an uneasy part of the conversation but at least it was aired. They decided they needed a vacation before Joan’s hectic career began to get in their way again. Grace needed a break as well. Before New York and it’s party. The house in Barbados they had never even seen. Each of the boys had been down there but not Joan and Grace. Grace was sure she could get one of her weeks of vacation in the next couple before New York.

Grace did indeed take one of those weeks due to her. She and Joan packed shorts and swimsuits, tanning oil and passports, and away they went. D.O.G. went over to Craig’s welcome household and the chalet was locked up for the week they were gone.

Barbados was a pleasant surprise. Joan had heard of the house going into foreclosure by chance one day and on impulse had purchased the note from the bank. She’d settled with the delinquent owner’s and they’d left the property to her. The management company had assured her that the property was in excellent condition and the furniture intact. The guys had raved over the acquisition and now Joan and Grace could confirm it’s incredible location. The beach was down a four foot drop from the lawns of the property. A private beach. Too far for tourists to walk, occasionally they’d get horses and their riders down this far, but overall it was secluded. The villa was long and low. Built to last through hurricanes and the years, it was over 100 years old and looked as though it had always been there. An old plantation surrounded it and you had to drive for over half an hour to get to town. Joan and Grace loved their impromptu getaway. Mornings were spent leisurely on the patio eating breakfast, attended to by a discreet staff of servants that were hired for the week they were there and for when the villa was rented out to other vacationers. Afternoons they’d go exploring either in town or on their own beach. Running into the surf to swim. Evenings were spent in front of the unnecessary fire in the fireplace but it was so very romantic. Graces bruises were all faded and she became very tanned. Joan made sure there were no tan lines on either of them, she’d convinced Grace to sunbathe in the nude. The week sped by all too soon and they determined Christmas should be spent here!

Grace returned to work and many commented on her tan. She kept to herself that there were no tan lines but grinned when she was by herself at Joan’s insistence of tanning in the nude. They’d even made love on the beach much to Grace’s surprise. It had been so beautiful, so idyll, so private. They’d needed their time alone together after dealing with the last year.

~ CHAPTER 42 ~

The New York gallery was jammed. The party was being held at the spot that contained Joan’s work as well as several other up and coming artists who’s work Joan admired and encouraged. The managers Ella and Frank Fitz were doing a splendid job thus far. Craig, Jane, Adam, a very rounding Gwen, Bryan, Kim, and Grace were all there to see Joan launch her new book and her newest gallery. The place was packed to the rafters with art people, buyers, artists, politicians, even stars. The elite mixed and mingled with the poor. A complex group that all had a great time. Joan was beyond exhausted by the end of the party and her party wasn’t the only thing she had to attend that week. An entire week of parties, social engagements, dinners, meetings. All set to launch both the book and the gallery in fine manner. Allan was at his best. He had Joan up on a proverbial pedestal that rotated the art, the book, the woman into all the circles that continued to bring her such success. The hint that another book would be forthcoming in the next year had everyone pleased. Grace watched from afar as Joan was continually sought after. Her autograph’s in demand, her opinions, her expertise. She was in her element and Grace knew how much she hated it all. The adoration, the falseness of these people. They had too much money, too little time, and many were brainless. Joan far preferred creating her works of art to all the business behind it. She was thrilled though to have Allan handle the details, it was different when she was younger, less well known, but now it was just too much work for her alone. She didn’t mind upsetting her quiet life for a week to be paraded around. As long as it was only for a week. She made that very clear to Allan. He really wanted to do another tour, to hit some of the lesser cities that they had missed. Perhaps South America and Africa. She wasn’t even tempted.

The guys basked in the reflected glow of their mother’s accomplishments. The families picture was taken over and over again. Joan made sure Kim was included as well as Grace. It was finally understood that Grace and Joan were a couple. Ah, she was an artist, it was to be expected. People accepted it more easily in this circle.

~ CHAPTER 43 ~

Kim was uneasy. She hadn’t realized what marrying into Bryan’s family would be like. Yes, she knew they were very wealthy or rather Joan was. She understood Joan was famous. She didn’t know her picture would be splattered over newspapers coast to coast. She’d received a reply to her letter to her parents acknowledging her engagement and asking for a wedding date but that was the last she had heard from them. She wasn’t surprised when she and Bryan returned from New York to find several messages on her answering machine from not only her father and mother but her brothers. Deleting them one by one, she hid them from Bryan. It ate at her and their relationship became a bit strained. Deciding that she was being a coward, she sat down with him one day and explained about her family.

She had nothing to do with them for the most part. They hadn’t supported her when she decided to become a doctor. She was still paying on those loans and the clinic had been run on a shoe string budget until Joan had come into her life. Her family still thought her living hand to mouth and she preferred that they think that. She didn’t want them around her neck. She explained to Bryan how difficult it had been growing up.

Her alcoholic parents had been absorbed with themselves and the bottle. Her brothers didn’t do anything but become career couch potatoes, impregnating girls at random, not caring to improve their lot in life. She on the other hand had been a straight A student. Had wanted to get out of that situation that she had been born into, and go to college. Her family was certain she was from another planet. She was certain she had been left in a basket on their doorstep she was so different from them. Bryan listened to all of this in rapt fascination. He knew Kim’s life from college on but she had never really mentioned her family before. He had felt it was a taboo subject and he was right. She had no love lost for them. They figured once she was a doctor she could support them and she’d disabused them of the notion once she started the non-profit clinic.

She explained to Bryan that she didn’t want him to think she was after his or his mom’s money but that if or when they met her family that impression would be real strong. Bryan assured Kim that no one would think that of her, knowing her. Her commitment to the clinic was substantial. She genuinely cared for these people. Her skills as a doctor were being used to their utmost to help them. Joan’s money assured that the clinic had state of the art equipment for that purpose. Kim continued to fret...she worried how Joan would react to the news that Bryan’s inlaws were money grubbing imbeciles who would expect handouts. Bryan convinced her to take it to Joan. He went along to provide moral support.

Grace and Joan were sitting in front of the fireplace drinking a well deserved bottle of wine between them. They were discussing the New York trip and the people that they had met. Joan was talking about possibly retiring in a few years, perhaps slowing down and releasing new art only once a year or so. Her work was in such demand now that she was getting sick with all the people approaching Allan with deals. She wanted to still be able to create, not produce on demand.

Grace was absentmindedly rubbing Joan’s shoulders with one hand as she listened. Grace too was thinking about retirement. She didn’t think she could though until she was at least 60. She enjoyed her work. She enjoyed her life with Joan too. The trips were fabulous. Joan always stayed in first class now. The public could be hectic but Joan assured her she was just the artist of the moment and not everyone knew her. She put down her empty glass to massage both of Joan’s shoulders. Joan put down her own glass as it was sloshing around anyway. They had replaced the couch that she had bled all over, there was no way that amount of blood could come out of a couch anyway. This one was classier anyway they both thought. The massage led to more interesting things. Grace was pushing Joan down on the couch kissing her deeply with her hand in Joan’s blouse when the front door suddenly opened. They both froze as Bryan and Kim walked in. Everyone suffered from acute embarrassment. Grace sat up, removing her trespassing hand. Joan sat up putting her clothes back where they belonged. Bryan and Kim had turned and shut the door, pretending to look at the design of the doors. A cough and cleared throat announced that Joan and Grace were back in order. The blushes on their faces though told a different story. To hide her discomfort Grace offered their guests some of the wine. When they declined she filled her glass half full and hid behind it. Joan watched her with amusement. Her son and his fiancee sat on the couch where it curved around opposite the couch she was sitting on.

Bryan began to tell her Kim’s fears. Kim let him go as far as he knew before continuing on explaining about her family. She told what a disgrace they were, how tacky, and thoughtless of others. How afraid she was that they would embarrass the Wood’s family at the wedding, or worse yet shame everyone in some way. She didn’t apologize for them but she didn’t excuse them either. Bryan was proud of her. She didn’t need to get anyone’s approval regarding this but forewarned is forearmed and she was stating her case quite clearly to his mother. As he expected Joan waved off Kim’s fears. Joan explained to Kim that she had of course found out where Kim came from after the first check had been delivered. She knew that Kim was a good person or she would have paid off her loans with that money. She knew about her parents already and didn’t care. She asked Kim quite plainly, did she love her son? Kim’s smile and answer were yes. Joan said that nothing else mattered. Looking Kim directly in the eye she asked her plainly, are you after the money? Kim answered NO, emphatically saying she wasn’t. Joan told her that was good because the money wasn’t her son’s it was Joan’s and she’d be around a good many years yet to spend it as she saw fit. Kim laughed with Joan. It allayed Kim’s fears though. Her family could be so rotten. She didn’t want Bryan or Joan hurt by them. She was startled to realize though that Joan had had her investigated and already knew about her. Rather than being offended she thought it good business sense. She had to stop underestimating this amazing woman that she adored.

They began to discuss the wedding. Bryan and Kim didn’t really want a huge wedding. They didn’t want to wait until spring either. Grace and Joan exchanged a look and had the same thought. Why not have the wedding in Barbados? Everyone thought that was an excellent idea until Kim pointed out that no one in her family could afford that trip. Bryan suggested they send two tickets to her parents but Kim explained that would just be the start. They’d whine that they couldn’t afford it, the tickets would arrive and then they would whine that they didn’t have the clothes, then they’d whine that her brothers couldn’t come. It would be never ending. Joan quietly suggested that if Kim wanted her wedding to Bryan in Barbados that they do exactly that and to hell with her grasping family. If Kim wanted to break off all ties with them, she was always welcome in the Woods family. Kim thought this over for awhile and agreed. Her family didn’t want or need her. They only wanted what they believed they could get from her. She didn’t want them around her neck or Bryan’s. She didn’t owe them anything.

The wedding was set for Thanksgiving week in Barbados. Joan had to come directly from a show in Miami and met them all at the airport. Grace had managed an extra long weekend from the hospital. Craig, Jane, and their kids, Adam, a very pregnant Gwen, Donny, Bryan and Kim all set off across the gulf to Barbados. They were met by the minister who would be conducting the ceremony. A few friends had flown in and were staying in town. The second day after their arrival the ceremony would be conducted. The villa was packed to the gills with the Woods family. Everyone relaxed that first day on the beach. Joan and Grace exchanged several meaningful looks remembering their own days earlier in the autumn as they played with the grandchildren on the beaches.

The ceremony was lovely. It was simple, it was festive, and it showed the love of these two kids getting married. It didn’t matter that Kim was older and had no money. It didn’t matter that Bryan was beside himself with joy and kept forgetting his vows. They loved each other. They wanted to commit to each other in front of family and friends. The party went on into the small hours until the newlywed couple slipped away to their honeymoon suite at one of the fine hotels. The few friends that had come took a mini bus back to town. The remainder of the vacation was to be spent among family.

Joan and Grace were sitting on the beach being buried alive by a very dedicated threesome of Adam, Donny, and Jennifer. They were certain that Grandma and Grandma Grace would be more comfortable on the beach buried up to their necks in sand. Suddenly Adam was there, Gwen had gone into labor and he wanted Grace to help. They’d already called a doctor in town and he was on his way. Joan wanted to take her to the hospital immediately but Grace suggested they wait until the doctor came. Annoyed since Grace WAS a doctor Joan snapped at her. Grace laughed at her, she wasn’t THAT kind of doctor. The doctor arrived and he suggested that they all stay put. It would be better for Gwen to have the baby at the villa rather than move her to a strange hospital room. Tense hours filled their afternoon and evening. Just after midnight on Thanksgiving day Adam brought a squalling infant out of the bedroom to show his new son to the grandma’s, aunt, uncle, cousins, and brother. They decided to name him Abel, since Adam was first man and Cain had been in disgrace. Joan laughed at her son, they had never been very religious.

The flight back was very hectic. A new baby will do that to you. To all of them. Bryan and Kim joined them for the flight back, appearing from their honeymoon suite after a week. They greeted their new nephew with some surprise. The flight from Miami to Chicago was nice. From Chicago to Central Wisconsin was not. An early snowstorm made landing hazardous. The taxis that Joan had hired for each family were late and they stood in the terminal with toddlers and a new baby for an hour before they began showing up one by one. Joan and Grace took the last one and off they went into the blowing snow storm. The driver wasn’t thrilled to buck the small drifts on their remote road but the tip that Joan gave him upon their arrival at the chalet made him smile.

They found at the chalet though that the heat and electricity were out. Using her cell phone Joan called Craig to get him onto finding out the why. Joan and Grace left their luggage by the door, it was useless anyway full of shorts and swimsuits. They bundled into sweatshirts and started a fire in the fireplace both on the main floor and in the basement. The electric one in their bedroom would be useless. It took about six hours until electricity was restored. They had sat huddled together on the couch as the fire roared in the fireplace warming only the air around it. The one downstairs however sent warm air throughout the basement. Joan was concerned about the Jacuzzi’s and the water in them. She waited until the storm was over to check the one in the gazebo. She was surprised to find it had warm water in it under it’s cover. Apparently the solar heat worked regardless of the electricity.

Three storms back to back battered the Wausau area. By the time Christmas rolled around everyone had had quite enough snow. Grace had missed a lot of work, unable to get there during the storms, she wasn’t the only one though. Joan had arranged years ago when they built the chalet for their driveway to be plowed after storms such as these but even the plow couldn’t get through for an extra day until roads in their area of the county had been cleared.

Joan had done most of her shopping well in advance and only had a few items to pick up yet. Craig delivered her 8’ tree for the chalet and the grandchildren helped Grandma Grace and Grandma decorate it this year. There was hot chocolate and sledding for the children while their parents were out shopping. An entire day it took to decorate that tree. Joan and Grace were in their element. They had so much to be grateful for. Five grandchildren, three sons, the daughters in law, all to share in their Christmas.

Joan and Grace gave their usual Christmas party to friends and family. Kim and Bryan didn’t show up for it. The phone only had the answering machine on it when they were called. After the wedding, Bryan and Kim had started looking for a piece of land to build their eventual home on. The townhome was not large enough for a family but for now the two of them would be happy in it. With all the storms though, they hadn’t been able to look much. Perhaps in the spring.

The next morning they exchanged gifts. Again Kim and Bryan were a no show until after lunch. Joan had gone back in the house to check on Abel while parents and grandchildren were sledding. She was surprised to see Kim, Bryan, and two strangers entering the front door. Smiling in greeting to Bryan and Kim she was introduced to Kim’s parents. Shaking their hands in greeting she saw them look around in wonder at the front room of the chalet. The 8’ tree in the corner. The roaring fire. The fine art and expensive furnishings. Kim was giving her a look that said ‘I’m sorry.’ Bryan was rolling his eyes and shrugging out of his coat. He took the Warner’s coats and Joan could see they were dressed shabbily. Not at all appropriate for visiting at a strangers house. They were wearing very casual stained clothing. Joan ignored it though and brought them to the deck doors indicating everyone sledding. Grace came in as she was explaining. Joan introduced her to the Warner’s. She thought they were going to have heart attacks when she mentioned that Grace was her wife.

Through the course of the day Joan did indeed see what Kim had been saying about her parents. Almost anything shown to them they asked inappropriate questions about. Usually in regards to how much it had cost or was worth. Joan almost felt the need to hide the silverware. It did give you a very uncomfortable feeling overall. Like you needed to wash up or something after touching something dirty. Grace could see Joan was trying to act the consummate host. She didn’t show her anger when upon seeing the entertainment system Mr Warner announced he was in heaven and it must have cost them thousands of bucks. He sat his saggy butt down and proceeded to order his daughter to get a beer for him. Grace could see Joan’s annoyance when upon showing the dollhouse built of their chalet Mrs. Warner exclaimed how cute, that their shared grandkiddies could play with it. The fact that it was under an acrylic box, obviously for show only was besides the point. Bryan and Kim were vastly uncomfortable. D.O.G. growled at the couple. Neither of the Warner’s could understand that it wasn’t dog but deeooogee. The joke of it totally went over their heads. The grandchildren steered clear of these two unwelcome guests. Jennifer had been shushed when she announced something stank, very clear in her high pitched voice.

Craig and Adam tried to cheer Brian up and he joked along with them but then would see how depressed Kim was and quiet down. Jane was horrified at these two slobs who wolfed down the food that was on the buffet table as though they had never eaten. Mrs. Warner had never tried wine apparently but managed to dribble a lot of it down her front. Gwen took Kim aside and gave her a discreet hug but Kim was just miserable. After a couple of hours Kim and Bryan gathered up the Warner’s and left. Everyone blew a sigh of relief. It took awhile for the odor that accompanied these people to dissipate. Joan was horrified for Kim. Grace felt very sorry for her. The family waited until the grandchildren were asleep or playing before discussing the unwelcome intrusion of the Warners. Into the middle of this discussion Kim and Bryan returned, apologizing profusely. They’d managed to leave her parents at the townhome sleeping off their fine food and drinks. Everyone managed to put the couple back at ease, shrugging off the offensive parents. By the time Kim and Bryan left again, fearful that something might be stolen in their absence, they were feeling much better. Their Woods family had cheered them both up immensely.

Joan was working on a commissioned portrait several days after Christmas. Grace was back at work at the hospital. Mrs. Richardson answered the front door. They’d had to leave the gate open due to deep snow. Mrs. Richardson called on the intercom for Joan to come down. Knowing how her employer hated to be interrupted during work she wasn’t surprised that Joan didn’t answer and she went upstairs to get her. She was horrified to find that the guests had followed her up to Joan’s studio. Her expression plain on her face as they interrupted Joan at her painting easel. Joan looked up to see the Warner’s standing behind a very upset Mrs. Richardson. Letting Mrs. Richardson off the hook Joan dismissed her from the room. Smiling and welcoming the Warner’s into her studio, she noticed they were wearing the same outfits they had at Christmas time although they must have been washed since then. She showed them her studio with finished drying paintings, sketches, and art paraphernalia scattered about the light and airy room. Her pride and her joy. They apparently couldn’t have cared less.

Mr Warner further dispelled her good feeling by saying he needed a favor. He and the wife hadn’t realized that traveling to see their only daughter was so costly and they had run short of funds. Apparently Kim didn’t make much at that clinic she ran and Joan’s son was on a tight budget, neither could give the Warner’s funds for them to return home. He was embarrassed, but what was family for but to help eh? His smarmy, let’s be friends type of smile sickened Joan. Having been warned by the private investigator who had checked out Kim she was ready for this shocking display of greed. Kim, adding the personal touch had indeed pegged them accurately.

Joan informed the Warner’s that they would not now, not ever, get any money from herself, from her son and wife, from anyone in THIS family. She went on to inform them that she’d had a private investigator check into their affairs, not revealing exactly WHAT he had found, she saw though that the insinuation scared them. She was blunt. She was succinct. She told them in no uncertain terms that no money that any of the Woods touched would become theirs in any shape, manner, or form. She informed them that their daughter no longer was a Warner but part of the Woods family and they should no longer bother any of them. By the time Joan was done with them she had them quaking in their shabby moth eaten shoes. They practically ran from the chalet where a beat up old Duster in rusted out condition awaited them.

Mrs. Richardson was thrilled to see them go, something about them had given her the chills. She hadn’t heard WHAT Joan had said to them but an occasional word had fluttered down the stairway. After they left Joan changed her clothes and went downstairs to work out. Mrs. Richardson had a pretty good idea that whatever had been said had upset her and she was taking it out on her exercise equipment.

Kim arrived at the chalet at the same time that Grace pulled up in the Jaguar behind her. Bryan had purchased Kim a new Thunderbird convertible as a gift and this had set the Warner’s on their path to their own destruction. Grace was happy to see her friend and daughter in law. Giving her a hug in greeting she asked to what they owed the honor of the visit. Kim explained that she was there to see Joan and they walked into the house together arm in arm.

They took off their jackets and stomped their boots off as well. On stocking feet both went into the kitchen. Mrs. Richardson told Grace that Joan was downstairs. The way she stressed downstairs had Grace wondering what could be wrong. The two women headed down there. The site that greeted them was a familiar one to Grace but a shocking one to Kim. Joan was covered in sweat. She was doing flying leg kicks to the punching bag and the cushions. She looked to be a whirling dervish. She was panting hard and with one very high kick she slipped and fell on her backside. She didn’t rise right away, panting on her back. Grace stopped Kim from going forward and instead called “are you all right?”

Not looking up Joan just called straight up “yea, fine” but she still didn’t rise until her breathing returned to normal. Grace sat on the steps and hand signaled Kim to do the same. Finally, after a large sigh, Joan began to pull herself up. Looking at the steps she was surprised to see not only Grace sitting there looking mildly interested but Kim looking alarmed. Kim had never seen Joan work out much less in this state. She was wearing a sports bra, her chest still heaving a bit, her abs looked trim and fit and her sweat shorts were saturated. On her feet she wore mid calf socks and some sports shoes. Her braids were back into one bunch, banded together with cloth. She stood there a minute to further catch her breath, staring at the two women staring at her. Finally she reached for a towel hanging nearby and wiped down her face and chest. Not looking up she asked “so what’s up?”

Kim wasn’t sure where to start but taking a deep breath she asked “I take it you saw my parents today?”

Joan looked up at that. Grace could see a undefinable look pass over her face. Since Graces back was to Kim she made a questioning look to Joan. A sterile little drawn out “Yessss” could be heard.

“Did you talk to them?” Kim asked. Gawd, this was worse than pulling teeth.

Joan stopped patting her sweaty body and stood still. “Yes” she answered.

“Would you mind telling me what happened?” Kim asked cautiously. She wasn’t sure WHAT had happened but she knew only one side and it had been horrifically distorted. Of anyone she didn’t want to offend it was this woman standing there sweating up a storm.

Seeing Kim’s discomfort Joan told her word for word what she had said. Grace, who’s face couldn’t be seen by Kim, about dropped off her chin it was hanging open so far. She couldn’t believe the nerve of Kim’s parents and Joan had set them in their place admirably. Kim was truly pissed. Her parents were the limit. They had shown up unannounced and so very happy to see her married and settle in the townhome. It was so luxurious they assured Bryan. They’d had one suitcase between them and brought only sweats and ratty jeans. She KNEW they had church clothes that looked better than what they brought. They immediately started insinuating themselves into Bryan and Kim’s lives. Asking inappropriate questions. Looking into everything. They’d found Bryan’s briefcase and had it not been locked would have rifled through it. Kim had been so embarrassed that she and Bryan decided not to attend the Christmas party. However, Kim’s parents knew about the family get together on Christmas day and they could only avoid it so long. Bryan had tried to comfort her but she was just so ashamed at their behavior. They’d been impressed with the clinic and one of the employees had unwitting mentioned the endowment by the Woods Foundation. Her parents had shown up there uninvited and their eyes lit up like dollar signs at that news. Kim hadn’t been surprised that they had shown up on Joan’s doorstep. They’d been so terrified though at what Joan had said to them and implied that they had packed up and left, much to Kim’s relief.

Joan dismissed it. She told Kim in no uncertain terms that she was a part of THIS family now. Good or bad, she would make it what it was by herself, not her past. Kim was so relieved that Joan had done this for her. She really respected Joan. Her getting Kim’s parents off her back was just one more tally on the good side as far as Kim was concerned. She went to hug her but seeing her state they both laughed off the good intentions. Joan headed for the shower and Kim and Grace headed upstairs for dinner.

During the next few months Joan attended three different art shows. She found these brief intervals to be a nice ‘away’ time from home but was always grateful to return home to her family. She was getting tired of it all and talked more often of accepting no further commissions. To paint for the fun of it when she felt like it.

She and Craig spent a lot of time setting up a separate department for the galleries to handle her work. Over the years she had just let Craig handle the employee payroll, benefits, and the gallery expenses. With four galleries and the amount of work each handled with other artists as well as Joan’s work it had become too big for one person. It was best that a separate department handle just the art related items from the other investments at the foundation.

Joan contacted her attorney and made arrangements for her will to be drawn up. She probably should have had a new one made up years ago with all the traveling and then her marriage but felt now was a good time. They made video’s of the various points she wanted to emphasize regarding the will so there would be no misunderstanding after her death. A depressing subject all around but Joan was determined to settle things. The foundation alone took weeks to sort out the particulars since it was so involved.

Grace talked Joan into having a family sitting for pictures that Easter. Getting everyone scheduled was difficult with children involved. Joan, Grace, Bryan, and Kim took individual and couple shots last so that all the group and family photos could be done first. Grace was sure that the photographer was happy to see them all leave after the hours they spent in his studio. He promised the proofs in a few weeks where everyone could order from.

Joan took the final copies that they decided on and had them framed and hung around the chalet. The one showing all the grandchildren, their parents, and grandma’s she took for her studio and then made a painting of. It was a wonderful almost photographic copy but in oils. It took her months to get it done right to her satisfaction. It hung in the living room of the chalet. The original photo she left in their bedroom.

~ CHAPTER 44 ~

Over the years Joan had become tired of the pace. She made the conscious decision to accept no further commissions. She’d struck while the iron was hot and made a lot of money and prestige with her art but now she didn’t mass produce any longer. Only occasional paintings came out of the studio anymore. In her mind at 55 she was due for retirement. It didn’t mean she was ready to slow down but now she had more time for Grace, her children, and her grandchildren. She decided though that she wanted to spend more time in Barbados, maybe Hawaii again, perhaps even Fiji.

Grace unfortunately didn’t wish to slow down. At 60 she was still running the psychiatric department at the hospital. She found her work challenging and was content with it. She felt that Joan not painting as much was causing her restlessness. She encouraged Joan to take up other interests.

Joan took a hand in the investments at the foundation as much as she could stand. It really was Craig and Bryan’s deals though. She and her money were just part of the formula. They weren’t necessary to the day to day operation. She didn’t get in their way and they welcomed her input but she didn’t feel necessary. She decided, Grace or no, she’d travel more.

She started out in Barbados. After a week alone there she was totally bored. She went on to Jamaica, flew to Miami and bugged Richard for a week. She flew to Malibu and bothered Madge and Amy. Amy had decided to move on. Joan helped Madge to replace her. Joan realized how fortunate she was in her choice of managers. Yoshi, Madge, and Richard had all been with her for years. They’d replaced the couple in New York twice since the Fitz’s had worked for her. The galleries though did well, with or without any new work from Joan. Her prints continued to sell well. Her books had been a smashing success and still were.

While in Malibu Joan visited with Joanne and the gang. They were surprised to see her without Grace but Joan assured them everything was fine. She herself wasn’t so sure. It had been a month and Grace showed no signs of joining her. While in LA Joan went for a checkup. Finding herself older was getting on her nerves. She had that familiar restlessness come over her and decided to go on to Hawaii.

Grace took two weeks off from the hospital to join her there. They hadn’t been there since their honeymoon and it was nice to visit the same places as well as some they had missed. Grace felt she was too old to go parasailing so they didn’t do that or even snorkeling. Spending time together though was just lovely. Grace was worried at the odd restlessness that seemed to have been over Joan for the last few years. Her painting didn’t interest her as much as it once did. She still sketched but it didn’t have the fervor it once did. She spoke vaguely of possibly releasing a third book of just the sketches.

While in Hawaii Joan found a beautiful vacation home. She talked to Grace and they decided to purchase it. It reminded both of them of the villa in Barbados. Why in the world they needed it Grace couldn’t decide but Joan wanted it so they bought it. It really was a good investment opportunity.

Grace returned to the mainland after her two weeks. Joan stayed to decorate the 5 bedroom house they had purchased. Many things that she wanted would have to be shipped from the mainland. Hawaii had all the current things that Joan could want but for some reason she didn’t find things that suited her. Another trip back to CA had crates of furnishings being shipped back to Hawaii.

It took months to get the house in order to her satisfaction. Adam and Gwen came out for a visit and then Bryan and Kim. After seven years of marriage Kim announced that she was pregnant. Joan was so happy for her. Kim had worried for a long time that any children she had would turn out like members of her family. When she finally came to realize the stupidity of her thoughts and that it was up to her and Bryan to raise any children and help shape them to be normal human beings a long time had passed. It took her forever to get pregnant but they joked about trying so very faithfully. Bryan didn’t care one way or the other, he loved Kim. Getting her family out of her life had been one of the best things for her. They heard only rarely from them any more.

Joan returned with Bryan and Kim to Wausau. It had been three months since she last saw Grace and they were so happy to be together again. The guys had been worried about Joan and Grace splitting up after all these years but Joan laughed at them. After what she and Grace had done together over the years she wasn’t about to chuck it away. She just wanted some space and Grace had given it to her.

Grace was finally talking about retiring in a couple of years. The time apart from Joan had reminded her of the almost full year that Joan spent on tour. She didn’t enjoy the time apart but felt that Joan needed something. Was looking FOR something. Trying to talk to her about it gave Grace no results. She really didn’t want to retire until 65 but that was 5 years away. Who knew where Joan would be then?

After being home a month Joan was talking about taking another trip. The hospital wanted to honor her with another plaque for the generous donations from the foundation. Usually Joan sent Craig or even Bryan to these functions. She didn’t like them and rarely went. This year she went with Grace it gave them both an opportunity to wear new gowns and shop for them. Joan had flown out to New York to visit her gallery and to shop on 5th Avenue. The speeches were endless and Joan was totally bored. She accepted the award and made her thank you short and sweet. The trustees, one of which she technically was but had passed on to Craig all these years, had been so thrilled to finally get her here. They weren’t going to allow her to get away too quickly and she spent hours listening to their babble.

Going home that night she slid sideways with the Mercedes and nearly wrapped it around a tree. She’d been thinking about the function that they’d just come from so hard that she didn’t see the ice. Checking to see if Grace was okay she sat there awhile to calm herself. She hadn’t drank very much knowing that she’d be driving tonight and nothing for the final two hours. Grace asked if she was all right and she looked up again experiencing one of her frequent headaches. Smiling to waylay Graces fears she started the car and drove home carefully.

Grace watched Joan all evening at the party. She’d been gracious to the various people who fawned over her. Grace could see her annoyance though. She became more and more impatient these days. She was still loving and thoughtful to the family but people in general annoyed her. She was becoming more and more reclusive. The car ride home had been quiet where in the past they would have discussed the evening. Joan had handled the near accident well but Grace knew her mind wasn’t on driving. She was having a hard time getting through to her these days. Trying to talk about anything was difficult, Joan was in her own little world. Grace had even had the thought that Joan had met someone but dismissed it. Joan was still attentive to Grace when they were together but she just couldn’t seem to stay in one place long these days.

The next week Joan had an appointment with her doctor. He tried to reason with her regarding her blinding headaches but she wouldn’t listen. He wanted to admit her and run some tests. She just wanted relief. They compromised, she refused to come back, he didn’t bug her about it.

By Friday she was getting itchy feet again. Grace watched her as she paced that night. She would go outside to the deck and then come back in when she got cold. Grace was finishing up paperwork from work at the desk. Finally Joan went downstairs and out of Graces sight. Grace found her snoring gently on the sofa a half empty bottle of wine on the table beside her, no glass in sight. This wasn’t like Joan. Yes, they drank wine but never without a glass, Joan was so into things being classy. Grace gently shook her shoulder to lead her up to bed. Joan fell into bed with her clothes on. Grace removed her shoes and covered her up.

The next morning Grace woke up to hearing the shower going. Joan was sitting in the cubicle letting the showerheads pour down on her. She looked up when Grace tapped on the door. “Are you all right?” She nodded and put down her head again. She must have sat there 45 minutes. Grace was dressed and eating breakfast when she came down in her robe.

Grace looked at her strangely. It wasn’t like Joan to get drunk. “Are you all right?” she repeated.

Joan smiled and said yes. She cut herself some peaches and grabbed a carafe of orange juice. She poured a glass and grabbed the aspirin bottle. She shook out four pills and downed them with a gulp. Sitting at the table she ate her peaches. She didn’t say another word to Grace.

After breakfast she started pacing again, deep in thought. Coming to some conclusion she sat down where Grace was finishing her newspaper. Grace looked up. “Grace, I want to talk to you.” Joan began.

Finally, thought Grace as she nodded.

“Grace, I’d like you to retire if you would. I want to travel. I want you with me.” Joan looked at her pleadingly.

They’d had this conversation before. They’d never argued about it but Grace thought Joan had understood her desire to work to 65. Sighing she repeated the same old arguments about working, her commitment.

Joan listened but was visibly agitated. Finally she said she understood. Rising she went outside for awhile. Grace watched in puzzlement. Something was wrong, something had to be wrong after all this time. Joan wasn’t happy. Joan wasn’t, well Joan! She’d always been high strung. Her artistic temperament hadn’t always been easy to live with. She’d controlled it well with her exercise regimen and her creativity. Now she didn’t even get mad. She didn’t even create. Grace joined her on the deck. Joan was looking out over the river.

“Joan, what is WRONG with you?” Grace tried to keep her exasperation out of her tone.

“Nothing is wrong. I just don’t feel like painting anymore. I want to travel now. I want you WITH me.” She smiled but it didn’t quite reach her eyes as Grace saw it.

Grace wasn’t sure but something didn’t ring true. In the years she had known Joan she had seen her deeply depressed once. When she couldn’t paint. Now she was making a conscious choice to not paint and her restlessness was driving them both nuts. “No Joan, that’s not what I meant, something else has been bothering you for months. This traveling you’ve done, isn’t like you. You used to love to paint. Now you try very hard not to even go into your studio or galleries. What is going on?”

Joan smiled. She sat in one of the chairs on the deck and held out her hand for Grace to join her on the double chair. Rocking gently she told Grace how burnt out she was on painting. She was sick of being fawned over. She had a right to peace and quiet in her life now. She’d worked hard all her life to support her boys. She’d gotten to the pinnacle of her profession. She wanted to enjoy things NOW, with Grace, before they got too old, too tired, or perhaps incapaciatated.

Grace agreed that to travel and see new things would be nice but she tried once again to make Joan see how important the last few years of her career meant to her. It wasn’t about money. Craig had made sure Grace had plenty of that with investments. It was about doing a job she was good at. Feeling good about it. Joan seemed to understand. They sat there a long time rocking gently as they discussed things.

Monday morning Joan got a call from Allan. He hadn’t called much in the last few years, understanding that Joan was letting it slow down. The odd thing was that the demand for her few paintings was just as high as it had been when she was producing 12 or more a year. She’d been invited to Berlin for an international art festival. It was going to be big. People from all over the world would be there. Joan was asked especially to be there for her life achievements. Joan didn’t even hesitate which was odd for her. She said yes. Allan was stunned, he’d had arguments galore all lined up to convince her and she just said yes. She was due there in 2 weeks.

The two weeks before the trip was like the days of old. She painted for the first week to finish a painting that had been niggling at her brain. That completed she finished little details for the foundation that required her time and signature. She visited with family and friends. Grace was surprised to see the old Joan again. The two weeks went quickly and all too soon Joan was packing again. It seemed to take more luggage these days than when she was younger. Grace drove her to the airport in her latest Jaguar. The old ones had been traded in one by one over the years. Grace hugged Joan goodbye as she walked down the concourse her laptop over her shoulder with her huge purse with it’s sketchpad within.

Joan called Grace once she was safely ensconced in her hotel room in Berlin. It adjoined the convention center where the art festival would be held. It was huge, all by itself. Allan had told her every booth was taken. They had held one open specifically for Joan and she would be attending conferences to answer questions regarding her art with the public as well as signing pieces. The festival was a week long and by the end of it, Joan was exhausted. She wasn’t so young anymore she realized but even at 55 going on 56 she knew she was slowing down. It was exciting, the adoration was great for the ego. So many people seemed to know her work. She was surprised at how many attended the conference to ask questions. Even with her books of sketches out there they had many astute questions waiting for her. It required concentration to answer these. Joan was in her element. She looked good. The gray in her hair now gave her a look that made as if to say I’m experienced. Since she only produced a few pieces a year now her work took on greater significance to the buying public. The students who came to talk to her she found very flattering. Her work was appreciated on levels she hadn’t thought to address years ago.

Finally the festival show was over. She made a decision to stay in Europe and she emailed everyone with her plans. She didn’t hear back so she shrugged it off and visited various cities around Europe. Seeing things she had always wanted to see and going places on a whim. She made appointments in several cities to meet with people. After 3 weeks though she was tired. No one had emailed her which was strange. She had emailed the boys, even their spouses, but Graces silence really bothered her. Perhaps she’d pissed her off this time with all her traveling. She couldn’t help it. She needed to get out of town these days and see other things, stimulating things. She felt like she had a constant state of cabin fever. She’d invited Grace along. She truly did understand Graces desire to finish her career, but she wanted to enjoy things now while they were still both fairly in shape for it.

She stayed in Zurich for a couple of days at a spa that she had often heard about. In the lobby as she walked in she was surprised to find a print of “Aphrodisiac.” It brought back fond memories of when she had made it, Grace’s reactions, the tour and other people’s reactions. No painting she had ever created had generated such interest or money. The spa director himself showed her around the spa after she identified herself. Her name alone gave her preferential treatment. This spa made the one she owned back in Wisconsin look like child’s stuff. She felt fabulous after her stay there. While she was there she had 28” cut off from her braids. These were then cut to 14” lengths and donated to a children’s hospital which would dye them and make wigs for chemo patients. The spa handled the arrangements for her and were very grateful for her ‘gift.’ Her new length of hair was a surprise to herself the first time she looked in the mirror. The braids now only came to just past her shoulders. The gray was more noticeable and bothering her and she made arrangements for the spa to color the hair back to it’s natural brown with red highlights. The psychological feeling it gave her alone was worth the hassle. She felt and looked great again!

She decided to go to the villa in Barbados for a few days. She emailed everyone her plans and was disappointed to find that no one had emailed her. It was four weeks since she left Berlin and no word! Ticked off, she tried phoning but the lines were mirky from in the air and she couldn’t get through. Touching down in Barbados after all that flight time, all she wanted to do was sleep. A taxi took her to the villa, she had gotten through from Zurich to arrange for it to be opened for her. Arriving at the villa she was greeted by a couple who had taken care of the family many times. She was grateful to see some familiar faces.

A few days later Grace walked into the villa. The Sanchez’s greeted her warmly. They’d met her several times with Joan and the family. Mr. Sanchez took her bags to the master bedroom. She followed, noting that Joan MUST be here with her bags in the closet and personal items strewn about the room. She changed into a bikini top and bottom and put a sarong around her waist. Asking the Sanchez’s where she might find Joan she went out to the beach looking for her. Shading her eyes she looked up and down the beach but didn’t see Joan anywhere. Sighing she sat in one of the double chairs strewn around the beach down from in front of their lawn. She sat there thinking. No one had heard from Joan since Berlin. After a week of that Craig had found where she had gone all over Europe from her credit card charges. They had almost caught up with her in Zurich but she had left for Barbados by the time they found her there. No one could understand why she had suddenly stopped calling or emailing. She’d always had a joke to share or something to tell about the places she was visiting. The last email had told enthusiastically about Berlin and then nothing, absolute silence.

Grace vaguely heard the sound of approaching horse hoofprints before she became aware that they were coming down the beach. Shading her eyes from the brilliant sunlight she watched as four horses came pounding down the beach. The riders were bareback and carrying long croquet mallets and hitting at things on the beach. One rider was hitting a ball or something shaped similar as the others bumped together trying to hit it as well. As they came closer to this secluded beach Grace could see that there were two women and two men playing their game. One of the women hit a mighty smack of the ball like object and another of the women galloped her pinto horse towards it, she was wearing a bikini top and a sarong style skirt hiked up on her thighs and no shoes, she swung her mallet to smash the ball backwards, and overbalanced. Head over heels she landed on the beach. Grace stood up watching to see if they needed help as the others galloped to her. They chatted for awhile until one of the men pulled the woman up. Dusting off the sand that was sticking to her all over she waved as the other’s rode back down the beach leading her horse. Then she turned and started to head towards Grace who stood there standing and shading her eyes.

Graces eyes bugged out of her head when she realized the woman coming towards her was Joan. Her braided hair was only to below her shoulders. Where was the other two feet or so? The color was back with no indication of the gray that had streaked a portion of it over the years. Joan looked good though, tanned from the sun. She had beads in her hair braids at various lengths, she wore a shell anklet and necklace. From her ears dangled even more tiny shells. She no longer worked out so incessantly these days so her body had a more round look than it had had in years. She looked younger than she had in years, vibrant, alive. Her face lit up when she was close enough to recognize Grace. She noted Grace’s face wasn’t showing that she was thrilled to see HER though.

Smiling she said “Hey, you!”

Grace looked at her like she had lost her mind. “Are you okay?”

Looking back at the spot where she had fallen on the beach she shrugged her shoulders which emphasized the length of her hair again. Turning back she smiled “Yea, I’m fine. It was fun though.”

“Who was that?” Grace asked her brows frowning, indicating the retreating horse back riders.

“Oh, just some kids I met while I was out today.” Joan smiled. She indicated that Grace should sit down again on the double chair. As Grace did so, Joan removed her skirt to reveal bikini bottoms and shook out the sarong, a lot of sand falling to the ground. She wrapped it around herself unselfconsciously as she sat next to Grace on the chair. “So what brings you here?” she asked conversationally.

“You, actually” Grace answered remembering the reason she had come down here.

“Oh, you decided to join me eh?” Joan was smiling.

“No, I decided to find out what you were up to?” Grace answered a little coldly. Joan was acting as though nothing was wrong. Grace was becoming distinctly annoyed. No one had heard from her in weeks and then to find her looking so great on the beach with a young guy in tow....

“Oh, thought I’d catch some sun down here before heading home. There’s a hurricane warning though, I’m surprised they let your plane land?” Joan was drinking in seeing Grace. In her minds eye she didn’t see the wrinkles or the fading blond hair. Grace looked good to her. She made Joan so happy when she was around.

“Yes, it was a bit bumpy but I was determined to get here. I was worried” she mentioned.

“Worried? Whatever for?” Joan asked truly puzzled. Her face showed the puzzlement.

“Well you don’t phone or email for a month. Allan said the last he saw you was in the hotel in Berlin. Then nothing?” The annoyance was plain in Graces voice.

“What do YOU mean nothing. I’ve been emailing forever. No one has responded!” A nagging suspicion was starting in her mind.

“What do you mean? No one has been in contact with you for weeks. Ever think of picking up a phone?” Grace was very annoyed. She’d started to worry and when Craig found from the credit card records that Joan was hopping all over Europe and no phone call she wondered again if Joan had found someone else. As Joan’s strange behavior continued Grace had started to wonder. Joan had never given her cause before. Looking at her now though made Grace a tiny bit jealous. Joan looked fabulous. Depressed at the thought that Joan may have been seeing someone else she was hurt, she was angry. Thoughts that Joan looked this good for somone else really enraged her.

“I tried but couldn’t get through!” Joan defended herself. She was angry too. Just what did Grace think she had been doing. She could see the anger in Grace’s face.

“Joan, four weeks have gone by. Your family hears from you several times a week normally. You don’t think they would worry? You don’t think I was worried?” She was angrily stating this as she continued “What was so important in Europe that you couldn’t call or drop us a line?” Finally, jealous and angry she spit out “Are you seeing someone else?”

Joan was flabbergasted. Blinking for a count of ten at Graces accusations she finally managed to collect her thoughts to answer tightly “How DARE you? I would NEVER betray you like that. I would never betray US like that! I’ve been lonely, not hearing from YOU. You come here to accuse me of what?” She shook her head to emphasize her point “Having an affair?” At Graces raised eyebrow in question she answered quietly “No Grace I’m NOT having an affair.” With that she got up from the chair and stalked off toward the villa.

Grace waited a moment and followed after her. She could tell by the hurt look on Joan’s face that she had indeed been telling the truth. They walked from the beach up the stairs four feet to the lawns of the villa.

Joan was so angry. She wished she had an exercise room like in Wausau so she could beat the shit out of something. She stalked into the villa and headed for her laptop in the office. Turning it on she checked her emails. She looked up when she heard Grace come in the room. Angrily she looked back down as the computer booted up and signed on to the internet. Most of her emails she always composed off line and sent later. Something though was missing and the nagging thought finally pulled itself together. She was getting booted off the internet. She started a virus scan as Grace watched. Leaving the computer on she stalked past Grace to the master bedroom.

Grace had seen over Joan’s shoulder as she had trouble going on line. She saw her start the virus scan and followed as she went to the bedroom. She tried to apologize and explain. Joan listened coldly, nodding in acknowledgment of what Grace was saying. She changed into another sarong and a matching blouse that tied at the side. Throwing her other clothes in the hamper she left the room barefoot and went into the kitchen. Grace followed again. Mrs. Sanchez, knowing her employers habits had a fruit spread for them. Sandwich meat and bread were available too. Joan fixed herself a plate and poured some juice for herself. She took that outside to a patio table and sat to eat. Grace joined her a few minutes later with her own meal. Grace chatted a little but Joan’s one word responses got on her nerves and she eventually let the quiet envelop them both. It wasn’t totally quiet though, the birds in the trees were twittering nervously as the storm approached. When they went totally quiet it was unnerving. Joan finished her meal and looked up to see the storm clouds approaching from the gulf. Mr. Sanchez was hurrying about the property putting away chairs into the storage sheds and making sure nothing could fly around the property in the storm.

Joan returned her plate and glass to the kitchen and returned to the office. The virus scan which she hadn’t run in months had detected a virus and fixed it. Grace came in as Joan was reading the results. Indicating the virus she mentioned that may be the problem. Clearing the screen she turned the computer off and then on again and then she attempted to sign on again. This time, no problem. Her mail waiting to be sent folder popped up and she clicked send all. Over 100 plus emails went out quickly. She sat there stunned. She had assumed over the last few weeks that everything she had sent had GONE out. Once the mail was sent she could see she had mail waiting as well. Clicking on that she could see hundreds of emails waiting to be read. Probably three fourths of it was spam and she spent time deleting all that. There was still a lot of emails left from family members. Mrs. Sanchez came in then with a lit candelabra and set it on the coffee table. Grace was looking over Joan’s shoulder watching her work the computer as the lights flickered. The back up on the computer kept it going long enough for Joan to sign off and turn off the computer. She didn’t get to read ANY of her emails.

Turning to Grace she took a deep breath. Apparently the virus had held up the last few weeks of emails. She hadn’t seen any that she received either. Everyone had been out of communication because of a damn virus. The lights went out then and didn’t flicker back on as the storm struck the villa. Grace grabbed the candelabra and they went into the living room where Mr. Sanchez had thoughtfully started a small fire in the fireplace. Sitting there they caught up on what the other had been doing for the past four weeks and more. Their mutual anger dissipated as they had realized the computer snafu.

Joan explained about her hair. Grace caressed it, amazed how different it made Joan look. The color was exactly what she remembered Joan looking like years ago but without the length it gave Joan a softer, younger look. It reminded her of Bo Derek in the movie 10. When she told Joan this, Joan rolled her eyes in mock horror.

Grace couldn’t get enough of caressing Joan’s shorter hair. It was still fairly long but she just couldn’t believe the difference. Wow, 28” had been cut off in braids. She wondered how long that would actually be when the braids would be unraveled. Joan explained how the spa had donated the hair to the hospital. They’d cut to this length which was approximately where the gray started. She’d figured, what the heck, get rid of the gray. It looked so natural. So beautiful. Grace continued to stroke it as they talked. The lights didn’t come back on and the terrific force of the storm was something to behold. They finally got up to watch together. Grace held Joan in her arms as they stood by the patio’s double thick glass and watched the rain come down in sheets, sideways. Finally, they decided to go to bed.

Using the candelabra which had burned fairly low they found their way to the bedroom. Putting the candelabra on the dresser they both stripped and got into bed. There was no point in dressing for bed. Each had the same idea and they quickly forgot their anger of earlier in their attempts to please each other. It had been too many weeks since they had been together. Something can be said for familiarity. They had played this dance for 15 years and knew very well how to pleasure each other. Neither saw the sagging bodies, the wrinkles. Instead they saw someone they loved immensely, and proved it so. Grace though it unfair that Joan’s body still was fairly firm but Joan proved over and over again how much Graces body excited her. Fortunately, the candle gave off enough light that they found the toys in Graces suitcase before the night was over. Thank goodness most either had batteries or didn’t require any, plug in’s would have been useless. Some had been replaced with others they had wanted to try over the years. Many times they didn’t even need them. Their passion for each other stimulated things to a point that outside influences weren’t needed. Othertimes it just added to the excitement. The first night of the storm passed very pleasantly for both of them. Exhaustion finally overtaking them both they slept until noon. The storm continued on for three days.

Joan found out from Grace that she had taken a temporary leave of absence from the hospital. She hadn’t known if she would find Joan here down on the island. Joan felt very bad, knowing that everyone was worried about her. She of course couldn’t be blamed for the virus but Grace pointed out the phone was a modern invention. Joan explained with the time differences she hadn’t called and then when she tried hadn’t been able to get through.

Grace was using this time together to really think about the hospital. In all the years of being a psychiatrist a week hadn’t gone by where she wasn’t bit, spit, or yelled at in some form. Becoming chief had alleviated a lot of that but she still saw patients and it hadn’t improved that aspect of things. She still loved helping people but she was getting tired. Joan’s continued traveling and tempting offers to join her had been on her mind. She was seriously thinking of early retirement now. She knew Jason could fill her shoes at any moment. He was in fact covering for her now.

The third day of the storm Joan got one of her blinding headaches. She was wretching in the toilet from it when Grace found her. Grace of course knew about these occasional headaches over the years but she didn’t realize how frequently Joan had them. Joan wasn’t about to worry her about it either. Joan spent the rest of the day in bed. She’d taken the maximum amount of asprin allowed and slept on and off all day as Grace came in and out of the room to check on her. At dusk the storm went away. The plants and trees all sprung back as though nothing had happened. Soon birds were twittering again. Where they went in the storm, no one knew. Joan awoke and found her headache had abated to a controllable level. She got up, she felt weak but no longer nauseous. Making her way to the kitchen she ate lightly.

Grace and Joan played cards for a few hours and then the power came back on. Joan made her way to the office with Grace and they powered up the computer. Hopping on line Joan began to weed through the emails with Grace. It did indeed prove to be a task. More emails had come in during the three days of the storm. Many in response to her mail sent. Fortunately it listed it all by date and she started at the earliest and continued on until she had read it all. She sent everyone an email explaining what had happened with the computer, apologizing for the worry, and letting them know about the storm. She told them she was fine and would see them soon. Some of the emails caused her concern of course as time had gone on and they had become more anxious. Some of the ones from Grace were pretty angry. Grace felt uncomfortable reading them again with Joan and knowing what she now knew. Joan understood though and they discussed them as things came up. It took hours to clear it all away and they even received one more from Craig while she was still on expressing his relief that she was okay and that Grace was with her.

They spent the rest of the week on the beach together. Sunbathing nude, making love in the evenings. No one was around and they loved being together again. It seemed that clearing the air had been what they both needed. They went back to Wausau together. Bryan met their airplane and gave them a ride back to the chalet. Kim’s due date was soon and everyone was excited. Joan promised to stay home long enough to see their newest grandchild be born.

Grace went back to work. It wasn’t the same though. She too had caught Joan’s restlessness and didn’t want to be here any longer. She discussed it with Joan. Joan didn’t try to convince Grace one way or the other but she was thrilled when Grace decided to take early retirement. The hospital threw her a huge party. Joanne, Tina, Addie, and Tracey and their respective partners all made the trip. The party was immense. Grace had been a doctor for nearly 40 years and made friends from all over. Joan was so proud of how many people came to wish her well in her retirement. Family, friends, colleagues all admired this wonderful woman. Near the end of the party though, Joan, Grace, and the boys had to leave unexpectedly. Kim, near to bursting, had broke her water and gone into labor.

They all sat in their finery in the waiting room. Kim took forever to deliver their daughter. They had wanted to name her Joan but Grandma had vetoed that idea. Instead they chose another first name, Emily and used Joan as the middle name. Years later they would have another daughter they would name Elizabeth Grace to honor the baby’s other Grandma.

~ CHAPTER 45 ~

Joan managed to convince Grace to close up the chalet and travel with her. They booked a world tour on a boat. It was just so incredible. They had the money, the time, and the desire to see whatever they wanted. The boat was so huge that they just barely squeezed through the Panama Canal. It was so exciting the different cities. The incredible experiences. They were gone for months and loved every bit of it. When they got to Hawaii they switched to another ship in order that they could stay there for two weeks in that house. It was like a constant honeymoon. Occasionally they felt sea sick or the usual aches and pains of getting older, Joan had her ‘mild’ headaches, never letting on that they were hellish, she hid them from Grace whenever possible. Downing incredible amounts of aspirin, ibuprofen, and Tylenol. She couldn’t hide them all though and Grace would worry. Being together all the time had it’s drawbacks but they would go their separate ways for a few hours even a few days, the boats were big enough to keep each amused and then they would come together to share their experiences again.

When the months had passed and they finished the cruise Joan made reservations for them all over Europe. They stayed in beautiful real chalets. They stayed in five star hotels. They stayed in some very memorable pigsties. They had a blast. They made sure that they made it back to Barbados for Easter with the kids and Wausau at Christmas. After three years of traveling though they both had enough. They decided to stay in Barbados, occasionally going back to Wausau. The kids came to them on their vacations.

Joan celebrated her 59th birthday in Wausau with the family. Craig brought his crew. Aaron and Jennifer came home from college for it. Amelia came. Adam and Gwen brought their two sons, Donny and Abel, both grown to fine young men. Bryan and Kim brought Emily and Elizabeth. Kim was pregnant again. Determined NEVER to have another child at her age! Grace and Joan had a wonderful evening at the chalet with their family. While in Wausau they both took the time to update their wills, including the investments over the years that they had made. Joan made updated videos, including the older ones with the newer ones. For her birthday, she had kept her hair colored since it was cut and this time she undid all the braids. For once in years her hair was combed out and smooth. Everyone exclaimed over it. Craig had hired a photographer to capture the moments of the birthday. Soon after Joan and Grace headed back to Barbados. They had made a life down there on the island after all these years there. They had many friends at the yacht club. It felt like home as well as Wausau.

Joan threw Grace a huge party for her 65th birthday the next year. She paid for tickets for Joanne, Tina, Addie, and Tracey to come to Barbados. They had never been before and were amazed at the easy lifestyle. The party itself seemed to go on for over a week with all their guests. The guys and their kids all made the effort to get down for Grandma Graces birthday. Kim brought the twins that they hadn’t even seen in all the months since Joan’s birthday bash. Kevin and Jeffery were identical and already crawling into mischief. Kim was always at a run after these two. Aaron and Jennifer both brought friends from college. The house was overflowing and everyone had a good time.

Joan heard from Allan again after all these years. The galleries were run fully by the foundation now. She got progress reports and made suggestions but let them handle it all. She occasionally painted but overall had fully retired. The prints still sold of the pictures that she allowed runs to be made of. Most of her work she had limited the number of prints over the years to create a higher value for them. Allan wanted her to speak at another convention. He wanted to present her with a lifetime achievement award. He too had slowed down over the years but had met some incredible people over those years. Joan though, had been his crowning achievement and he had never forgotten her. Her work had made him very comfortable, financially.

Joan discussed it with Grace and they made their way up to New York for the show. Joan was still always amazed that anyone knew her. Allan was surprised to see the differences in her. Her hair alone without the braids changed her. It was still beautiful. Her body was still incredible despite her age. All the years of working out had paid off. Grace at least looked as a grandmother should but she too was beautiful, elegant, and sophisticated. She was so proud as Joan took the stage. She got a standing ovation that lasted a full five minutes. Her speech was powerful, belying her age. Grace heard murmurs around her complimenting Joan and her work. She was thrilled for Joan. After her speech she stood there for a full hour answering questions before she took herself off stage.

The party afterwards was reminiscent of old. Joan and Grace stood in a circle of admirers and Allan proudly showed her off. People discussed various works with Joan as well as Grace. Grace was famous by association she felt. She knew Joan’s work thoroughly and it showed. It was amazing how much she had accomplished over the years. Some of her oldest work was still being discussed all these years later.

Funny how the adrenaline can keep you going. They were both exhausted the next day as they took a plane to Chicago. They were heading back to the chalet for a long week in Wausau. The foundation kept the place in good shape whether they were there or not. The boys and their families still used it as a weekend getaway. Boats, wave runners, canoes, and other water items were kept up for summer sports for the families. It worked out well as the place was situated on prime land. No one had built in the area over the years. It was like a magic island among the city. One side was the state forest. Joan owned the land on the peninsula all the way over on the other side. She had had some terrific offers over the years but had never even thought to allow anything built on their private retreat. Nothing tempted her there. Grace agreed wholeheartedly. They had some pretty terrific memories in this place and weren’t about to share them outside the family.

Their week turned into weeks and then months and they stayed on the summer at the chalet. They enjoyed the guys, the wives, the grandchildren and their friends. There was always someone visiting it seemed. They celebrated Joan’s 60th birthday with a quiet family dinner. With all the commotion over the summer she just wanted a quiet dinner with everyone. The boys teased her about getting old. Grace showed her that night that she wasn’t. They made love so intensely it brought tears to both of their eyes. If the boys could see me now she thought. Joan lay there for about an hour after Grace had fallen asleep watching her and remembering, a very nostalgic moment.

Joan awoke with an intense headache. It was beyond her usual migraines. Grace awoke to hearing Joan wretch into the toilet. Rising quickly she held Joan’s head as she threw up until she had the dry heaves. Putting a cold compress to her forehead Grace managed to get her back to bed. Joan absentmindedly rubbed her scarred forehead, a familiar gesture over the years. She was convinced it had never healed inside and told anyone who’d listen that it itched from inside. Over the course of the day Grace kept the room in total darkness. Joan’s headache didn’t improve and Grace was getting alarmed. When the next day came she was surprised that Joan agreed to go to the hospital. She complained that the pain was so intense. She wouldn’t let Grace call an ambulance though. She sobbed in pain the entire trip there in the Jaguar.

At the hospital they started an IV drip, giving her more intense drugs to stop the pain. They kept her in a quiet room where Grace sat watching Joan drift in and out of sleep. A Dr. Morris came by to talk to Grace. Grace and he went outside the room so that Joan wouldn’t be disturbed. He had a fairly thick folder in his hand labeled Joan Woods. He explained that he had been seeing Joan on and off for her headaches for years and that Joan had seen other doctors as well. What Grace hadn’t realized is that these headaches had been going on for over 10 years. He assumed she had known that they were caused by the tremendous blow to her head after she had been attacked. Joan had known all along. She had sought treatment around the world and many doctors had told her the same thing. They couldn’t operate without scrambling her brain. She had a blood clot in her brain that could kill her at anytime. The headaches were just a symptom of that inoperable clot.

Grace was devastated. She had known Joan’s restlessness over the years meant something. She’d never been able to put her finger on it. All those trips to various cities around the world. All those mysterious disappearances for a few hours. Joan would bring her odd trinkets and jewelry to hide the accountancy of time. Grace hadn’t been suspicious but now it all made sense. She’d seen the number of times Joan had headaches. Joan had said the doctors attributed it to the blow but had never let on about the clot.

The doctor indicated the brain scans. It showed that the clot had moved to a critical point in the brain. Joan would not be going home from this one. Graces throat tightened up and she felt a blow to her stomach. Something was gripping her heart, squeezing it remorselessly. The doctor stayed with her until she got a hold of herself. After he left she phoned Craig, Adam, and Bryan. One by one they showed up in the waiting room with their wives. She waited until they were all there to tell them the news. How many times over the years had they all met up in rooms like this she thought. Births, grandchildren’s overzealous play that would require stitches or whatever, Graces beating, Joan’s poisonings and Beth’s attack, and a few other less traumatic incidences. The final one that caused the end of a life so full.

One by one they visited Joan when her headache had subsided. Everyone knew it might be for the last time. She spoke with each one, making them feel special. She knew they knew. She could see it in their eyes, the hurt, the devastation, the fear of loss. Time after time they teared up and she joined them. She explained over and over her position. She had known for over a decade that this was coming. She knew that every moment had been precious and needed to be lived to the fullest. She didn’t regret anything except the lack of further time with them. Her grandchildren came to her bedside as well. The youngest two wouldn’t remember this grandma but the family would never let them forget who she was.

Finally Grace was alone with her. Her face showed her devastation. Joan actually felt very good but didn’t want to go home to the chalet to die. She wanted it remembered as a sanctuary to the family. Her affairs were in order. She had made sure of that over the years. Grace understood now, everything. She was hurt that Joan had never confided this one thing with her but Joan made her understand finally. She hadn’t wanted everyone walking on egg shells. She’d had more than ten extra years. That amount of time with everyone knowing would have not been as special. Had they known they might have behaved differently and she hadn’t wanted that burden on them. She wanted Grace to know how much she had loved her, how special their nearly 20 years together had been. She was leaving with no regrets.

Joan died that morning in Graces arms. The blood clot shifted and it happened very suddenly. Graces last view of Joan was as she was fading away, a smile on her lips as she went limp. Grace kissed her cooling lips goodbye as the monitors beeped out the flatline. They unhooked everything from her and covered her with a sheet. Grace left the room and went to the crowded waiting room. Everyone could see by her tears that Joan was indeed gone. She had made her good-byes to them. They knew she had loved ALL of them.

Joan had died only two days after her 60th birthday. Announcements went out all around the world. It even made the papers all over. Her funeral was held a week later in order to allow people from far away to attend. Massive amounts of flowers decked the open casket. Joan had been specific for those final arrangements. A polished wooden casket, simple but beautiful was where she lay. Her casket was open until the end of the service. She wanted her family to say one last goodbye, close the book and move on. Her wake at the chalet was attended by almost everyone who had attended the funeral. Congressmen, art dealers, employees, tons of people, and family all attended the largest party that Joan was involved in. The family joked that she would have loved to attend. Joan would have appreciated their humor. By the end of the day the family sat in the entertainment area as Joan’s lawyer read her will and played two of the tapes. Everyone got copies but the first viewing was for everyone. Joan had made individual tapes for each of the family including her youngest grandsons. Her touch was felt by all. She’d left an incredible legacy.

Joan had left the chalet and grounds to Grace out right. Grace had always owned equal shares but now it was fully hers to do with as she wanted. The foundation would pay for it’s maintenance for life. She’d also left her the shares in the house in Barbados where they had spent so many years together. Her tape to Grace would be watched later in private.

The foundation was left to her son’s out right. She hoped that they would continue on as they had since it’s inception all those years ago. She hoped that her grandchildren might want to continue in the tradition. She made sure a trust was set up for each grandchild to go to the college of their choice. It would pay their way completely through college and any monies thereafter would be given out right at the age of 30. Her personal wealth was immense and she left that in trust for the foundation to avoid paying inheritance taxes. Her art would continue to generate money to be put in the trust. Her galleries as long as they continued to be profitable would be handled by the trust. The trust was to be administered by her wife, her three sons, and their spouses. She named each one specifically. In the event of their death’s a new trustee would be appointed by the remainder so that at no time would an even number of trustee’s exist. That way votes could be taken about issues that would arise.

Her video’s first showed her from years ago and had been updated twice over the years. The difference in her waist length braids to the shoulder length ones to having her hair combed out and straight was a stark contrast. She specifically asked each of her son’s to take care of Grace, her love, her life. The poignant memories that she mentioned brought a new flood of tears to everyone who listened. The youngest grandchildren had been left to sleep and be watched over by Amelia. The adults were so moved by this final gift from Joan. How like her to think of all of them in their time of need. How like her to leave this lasting memento of her love for all of them.

Grace waited a full day to watch her video from Joan. She needed the time to collect her own thoughts. She hadn’t been prepared for this. She had always thought that being the older one in their relationship that she would go first. She had thought they’d have another 20 years. Finally watching the video was harder than she could believe possible. Joan had made it over the last 12 years, continually adding to it as she could when she was in Wausau and wanted to say something. She had driven her lawyer nuts but he was well paid for any inconvenience over the years. Grace watched the changes of Joan over the years. The words, the sounds, the inflections of her voice were like a soothing balm on her heart. This incredible woman had loved and been loved. She reached out from her grave to comfort Grace once again. Grace watched the tapes over and over again until she memorized them.

Grace arranged for all of Joan’s clothing to be taken to the Salvation Army, it was the only charity that Joan believed actually used those type of things and she would have approved. Her personal things such as jewelry Grace slowly gave to her son’s and grandchildren over the years. Joan’s engagement and wedding rings Grace wore around her neck on a chain. Grace wore the set of hands that had been given to her on her wedding day much of the time. The necklace, the anklet, the bracelet, the earings, their matching hands still beautiful after all these years, she had them put in a frame and hung on her bedroom wall, she couldn’t see herself wearing them again, the rings were enough. They so reminded her of Joan’s love for her. She had framed the note that the jewelry came with years ago. She sat down and watched the video of their wedding, repeating the section of their vows and Joan’s lovely words. She went through their wedding album looking at the pictures. She paged through other albums they had kept over the years enjoying what they had shared.

If Grace had thought she would be lonely she was sadly mistaken. Her grandchildren and her son’s and daughter’s as she thought of them continually visited her. There were very few days that she actually found herself alone. Not only had they taken Joan’s words to heart but they truly accepted Grace as their own. She’d been in their lives for the last 19 years and they weren’t going to let her go. Joan’s death had only made them all more aware of the passage of time and how fragile their time with their loved ones could be.

Grace lived to the ripe old age of 85. Her children, her grandchildren, and even her great grandchildren were there for her all those years. The ones who didn’t remember or had never met Joan were constantly being told stories about that great lady. Her art, her books, her legacies, her touch were always around. To Grace’s dying day she felt Joan’s presence in that house. Even going to Barbados and Hawaii she found Joan’s presence beside her. She caught herself talking to her when no one else was around. She didn’t want them to commit her for her idiosyncrasies. She wrote to Joan in her journal. Joan talked to her in her mind. She never again loved another person like Joan, she didn’t even try. As she got older her friends died one by one but she always had Joan to rely on. Quietly one night she just went to sleep. Her grandson Kevin found her when she didn’t come down for breakfast in the bed she had shared with Joan . He was going to UW Stevens Point and staying at the chalet with Grandma.

Graces funeral wasn’t as grandiose as Joan’s. She wasn’t as well known. Many of her friends had died over the years. All of the gang from California was gone. Her son’s, their wives, her grandchildren, and even her great grandchildren mourned the loss.

They say your spirit lingers to watch your body be put in the ground. Many of the family swore they saw Grace at the graveside. Joan came and took her by the hand as they walked in the opposite direction away from the family.

Goodbye Joan.

Goodbye Grace.

You were loved by so many you will be missed by all of them.