The Straight Girl

Andi Cooper had one hard and fast rule that she had never broken. No straight girls! But when Gill Radley moved into the next-door unit and began flirting with her, Andi discovered that a cute smile, some home-cooking and a pair of soft lips can really play havoc with a woman's principles. Then she sees something that convinces her she was right about straight girls all along - but was she? Does she believe the evidence of her own eyes or can Gill convince her that things are not always as they seem.

Chapter 1

“Enough already!”

Anthea ‘Andi’ Cooper ran her fingers distractedly through her hair and wearily closed the online spread-sheet she had been working on for the past two hours. If the way her short, blonde ‘do’ was standing on end was any indication, it was a gesture she must have repeated more than once during that time. For a second or so she debated laying her head down on her office desk and getting a few hours sleep in what was left of the night. Lord knows it would save her the drive time come tomorrow morning.

“Get a grip!” she admonished herself as she hauled her aching body upright and reached for the light switch. “If you spend anymore time in that chair it’s going to become a permanent growth on your butt.”

It wasn’t as if she had far to go. Her tax consultancy business was tucked into the back end of an ugly concrete strip mall in Citrus Heights, a somewhat nondescript suburb north of the Californian state capital of Sacramento. At this hour its streets were relatively free of their usual stop-start traffic snarls and her five year old Chevy pickup made all the red lights on the ten minute drive. Home was a one bedroom, ground floor unit in a block of ten and on nights like this Andi blessed her decision to locate her living and business premises as close as possible.

Andi let herself in the front door and kicked aside the buildup of pizza leaflets and other assorted garbage that was regularly dropped thru the mail slot, despite the fading ‘No Junk Mail’ sticker. Two leftover slices of cheese and pepperoni pizza sitting forlornly next to a quart of milk in an otherwise empty fridge indicated that she occasionally made use of those unsolicited leaflets. She didn’t even bother to turn on the kitchen light, instead propped herself up against the open fridge door and wolfed the food cold, following it up with several swallows of milk direct from the jug. It was tempting to just fall straight into bed as was but a tentative sniff of an arm pit rerouted her tired feet towards the shower stall, clothes scattering haphazardly in her wake.

“Oh man, that feels good.”

Andi groaned as she stood under the stream of warm water and began to soap herself down. Kneading her knotted shoulder muscles she reflected gratefully that at age forty seven she still weighed pretty much the same as she always had, despite her irregular eating habits. Those 140lbs stacked on her 5’6’ frame meant she was neither thin nor heavy, just average and her small breasts were still rounded and firm. Probably more good luck and genetics than good management Andi thought. Her mom was in her early seventies and still cut a svelte figure on the greens of the golf course attached to the retirement complex in Florida where she had lived for the past decade. She had noticed that hers was the age when a lot of women without an intimate partner began to let go and become soft and flabby. It wasn’t hard to follow their reasoning – why spend your spare time sweating in the gym and starving on the latest fad diet, when at the end of the day there was no one else to admire all that sacrifice? Unless of course you were still out there looking. Andi shuddered at the thought. It had been four years since her split with Lana and the subject was still so painful she rarely let her mind travel in that direction. But every now and then, especially when she was tired, it was hard to keep the memories at bay. A bit like after you have had a tooth pulled, she mused; the object that caused the pain is gone but you just can’t stop your tongue from probing the empty space to see if it still hurts.

Back then, to everyone else and especially to Andi herself, it seemed like she had had it all; a solid relationship of over six years and a nice house on the outskirts of San Jose. Between the two of them they had made a decent living. Her tax consultancy business was beginning to get off the ground and Lana was working as a theatre nurse in a local hospital.

“Damn it all to hell.” Andi whispered as she arched her neck and let the hot water run over her head and face. After all this time why did she still let it get to her? Everything she had thought of as a given had dissolved as quickly as ice melting in the July sun. She closed her eyes and once again, as if on the flickering screen of an old home movie, she saw Lana - still in her PJ’s on her day off - laughing and teasing and trying to entice her into playing hooky from work.

“Come on Andi babe, don’t be such a stick in the mud, stay home with me today. I’ll make it worth your while.”

Here Lana leans toward the camera, winking and flirting. Her sultry expression hints at a day spent in carnal delights. It would have been so simple, Andi reflected, to have made a few calls and cancelled a couple of appointments. Just for once she could have let go of the rigid structure that governed her life and taken a few hours out to revitalize a floundering relationship. But she hadn’t, had she? Nope, she’d brushed Lana off irritably with a few terse remarks about one of them having to be the adult, and why did it always have to be her?

Andi shifted in the shower, resting her head on the tiled wall, unable to stop the images that played across the inside of her closed eyelids. Now she watched her own feet walking up the cracked paving of the front walk. She’d come home early, a surprise to make up for the morning’s disappointment.

“No, no, stop!” She no longer knew if she was exhorting her old self of four years ago not to enter the house, or whether her cries were directed at her current self, to stop the torture these recollections inflicted. It didn’t matter did it? The results were always the same. She would still open the bedroom door to find Lana in their bed fucking some stranger, her head thrown back in ecstasy, and Andi would still stand crying in the shower stall until the water ran cold.

Chapter 2

Troubled sleep invariably followed such remembrances and six am found Andi wide awake and staring at the ceiling. She wondered why she still allowed them such power, when in reality she had moved on long ago. Well physically at least anyhow. Lana had stayed in the house and Andi had ended up here to the Central Valley area. She was working twelve hour days to re-establish a client base and make payments on her living and business premises. One more year, she promised herself, and she could start to slow down a little and have more of a social life. Try making some new friends; gay or straight, she didn’t really care -- the last thing she needed or wanted was a relationship. Lana had been some twelve years her junior, though to her credit it had never appeared to bother her. It had been Andi who had always felt somewhat uneasy and awkward in the bar-hopping, partying set of friends that Lana gathered around her. Her own tastes ran more to the occasional film or theater date, dinner in some place where you could actually hear your companion speaking and quiet parties that weren’t advertised on the internet. Sliding out of the tangle of damp sheets she pulled on a t-shirt and shorts, and padded barefoot into the kitchen lip the coffee maker switch. Hell if she was awake then she might as well make use of the time and get in to work early.

A quiet knock on her front door was followed by several louder ones. Andi rarely had visitors and certainly not at this hour, so she peeked carefully out the living area window before opening the door to a young woman she didn’t recognize.

“Hi, my name is Gill, I moved in next door last week. I’m incredibly sorry to be troubling you so early, but I was wondering if that is your truck?”

The girl, who was dressed in the uniform of a national donut chain, gestured behind her to Andi’s pickup which was parked somewhat skewed against the curb. Her tone was soft and apologetic and Andi’s initial glance took in dark brown eyes with a dusting of light freckles across her nose. Although she didn’t appear to be more that twenty five years old there were deep worry lines etched around those eyes and the corners of her mouth.

“Yes, that’s my truck, is there some sort of problem?”

Andi was already moving down the steps, surveying the scene; her natural tendency to take over situations coming instantly to the fore. And there was the problem, staring her in the face. She was parked almost on top of a small sedan in the next spot, What with the lateness of the hour and her tiredness last night, she’d made a real hash of the maneuver and now this poor gal was obviously unable to get out.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry, I’m not usually that inconsiderate. I guess I’m used to having both these spaces to myself. Hang on; I’ll go get my keys.”

Andi turned and loped up her front steps, grabbing her keys from the hall table and, still apologizing profusely, moved her truck a foot or so forward. Sliding out of the cab she was rewarded with a brilliant smile from Gill who had already slipped behind the wheel of her own vehicle and scooted out on to the road. Through the rolled down window Andi heard her yell, “Thanks so much, sorry, late for work!” before she scorched off in a puff of very black exhaust smoke.

“Hell that engine sure needs a tune.” Andi thought, then gave herself a mental shake as she found herself still standing in the street with a silly smile playing on her lips long after Gill’s car had disappeared. “Shows how much attention I pay,” she muttered, walking inside, “didn’t even realize they had rented that unit yet. I hope she hasn’t got a heap of young noisy friends.” The words had barely left her lips when it occurred to her how downright old and stuffy that remark sounded and she wondered glumly just when she had become such a bore.

Chapter 3

It was a refrain still dogging her thoughts come six pm that Friday. Her appointment book was empty till Monday and the work of invoicing and billing just wasn’t holding her attention like it should. Instead the image of a cute smile and a freckled nose kept drifting across the page.

“Oh for Pete’s sake, I give up.” Andi muttered to herself, sweeping the papers off her desk, locking the safe and the front door. “I’m so starved for company I’m obsessing about the new straight gal next door -- a child who works at a donut store at that.”

She was still shaking her head and muttering when she pulled (very carefully) into her parking space, only to see the object of her thoughts straddling the low wall outside their units. Gill had what looked like a large text book balanced on her lap. As Andi exited her truck, she looked up and waved.

“Hi there neighbor, nice to see you can keep between the lines when you try.” Gill piped up cheekily. “Luckily for you I wasn’t late for work the other morning though I just squeaked it in by a hair, so I figure you owe me one. Tell me what you know about Tax Edict 304A as it relates to small businesses with less than ten employees.”

She laughed across at Andi who, as hard as she tried, couldn’t help grinning in return as she swung her leg over the wall and looked at the book Gill was holding in her hand.

“Accounting 2.1, that’s pretty heavy stuff. Are you doing this part time?”

When Gill nodded in reply Andi began rapidly revising her opinion of this girl, she might not quite be the lightweight she had originally presumed.

“Oh and by the way, I apologize for not introducing myself earlier, I am...”

“Oh I know all that already.” Gill smirked happily. “You’re Anthea Cooper aka Andi, you’re forty seven and you run Cooper’s Tax Consultancy down on 8th and Citrus. You live alone, no partner, no pets, no kids and, let me see…” She snatched up a bemused Andi’s left palm and studied it intensely. “Oh yeah, there’s your love line. Gay as they come! How’d I do?”

Andi was blushing and she knew it, hell she hadn’t done that since she was a teenager. Her attempt at a cool and calm response was somewhat spoiled by the way her voice broke on the first words of her reply.

“H…How did you know that? I mean, yeah the basic stuff I’m sure came from Mrs. Johnson, our landlady from two units down right?” At this Gill nodded happily and Andi continued. “But, I mean, how did you know, the other, you know…..”

Good grief she was acting like a tongue-tied idiot around this gal. Since moving in Andi had kept pretty much to herself. She said good morning and nice day and other pleasantries to some of her neighbors but in three years she hadn’t been inside any of their front doors, nor they through hers. Certainly she hadn’t brought any women home here. There had been a few awkward and uncomfortable dates when she was trying to ‘get back on the horse, so to speak, in the early years following her break up with Lana but of late she had resigned herself to being alone. And that is the way I like things, she told herself, trying not to get drawn into whatever game Gill was playing. This gal had straight and trouble written all over her.

“Oh, no great detective work there.” Gill grinned, gesturing back at Andi’s truck.” It was the rainbow dog tags hanging from your mirror that gave you away. So, now we have that out of the way, what’s your take on 304A? I’ve got an assignment due on Monday and I’m not sure I have my head around the concept”.

Later Andi wasn’t sure exactly how it happened; one minute she was outside talking about tax relief and its application to small business and the next she was inside Gill’s unit, drinking red wine and eating tacos at the small kitchen table. This gal was mesmerizing! She produced and served food, took notes, asked questions which showed she was whip smart, all the time looking so damn cute that several times Andi found herself paused in mid-sentence, just staring. It must be the wine, she thought stupidly, they seemed to have got through over a bottle without her even noticing and she wasn’t much of a drinker at the best of times. Finally Gill closed her book and leaned back against the wall with a grin.

“Hell, you are good!” She sighed contentedly. “I’ve got more out of a few hours with you than all the lectures I’ve been to this semester!”

Her face glowed with the obvious satisfaction of conquering a previously confusing subject and Andi, mellowed by the wine, saw the last of her preconceived ideas float out the window. She inwardly chastised herself for falling back into an old habit of labeling people simply from their outward appearances or occupations. Many years back there had been a group of Lana’s friends from the hospital who had congregated at their house most Friday nights playing poker, drinking and unwinding at the week’s end. Andi had taken a particular dislike to a young blonde who seemed to have ‘airhead’ tattooed on her forehead. She was raucous, flirty, drank too much and seemed to inevitably be at the centre of any nonsense that got out of hand. After one particular incident, that resulted in a police call out for excessive noise, she’d had a heated conversation with Lana about her choice of friends, remarking that Karin hardly appeared qualified to be a hospital domestic, much less on the nursing staff. To this day she still cringed recalling the cold disgust in Lana’s voice as she explained that Karin was actually a fifth year med student who worked in Pediatric oncology all week, dealing with critically ill and dying children and their distraught parents. These few hours on Friday nights was all the time she allowed herself as a break from the pain and heartbreak of her daily world.

Not long after that, the group had stopped meeting there and began going to a local club instead. Andi was invited along but she’d been stubborn and convinced herself she was too tired to go out late when she worked Saturdays and that Lana was selfish and unreasonable. In hindsight she knew it had been her pride and embarrassment at their age difference that had been the main stumbling block. Not for the first time she mentally kicked herself for the hard, unyielding attitude that had been the beginning of the end.

“Hey, Andi, where did you go? Wakey, wakey.”

A hand was gently shaking her shoulder and Andi opened her eyes with a start, taking a second to realize that she must have got lost in her thoughts and dozed off. The warmth of another’s touch and the pain stirred up by the memories, plus the wine, all combined to make her feel vulnerable and lost, and neither of these emotions sat at all well with Andi. Jumping to her feet she shook off Gill’s concern and, expressing shock at the lateness of the hour, made her exit with as much haste as possible. Once inside her own four walls she cursed herself for letting down her guard so obviously. Gill was a nice kid but the last thing she needed was to get involved with anyone, much less a kid. She was smarter than that these days.

Chapter 4

Saturday came and went pretty much as it always did. Andi worked till around four pm, and then hauled her week’s washing to the laundromat situated three shops down from her office. While it washed she tidied up her working space, emptying bins, dusting her desk and shelves, restocking the small bar fridge with bottled water and fruit for the week ahead. It was a routine she had established some time ago and it suited her just fine. On her way home she’d swing by the Chinese takeout and pick up some lemon chicken and fried rice and then pop into the video store next door to grab a movie while she waited for her order.

“How very safe and predictable.” a voice muttered in the far recesses of her mind - where the hell had that come from?

“So what’s wrong with safe or predictable?” she rejoined defensively, “It works for me. I’m happy, not hurting anyone.”

Arriving home though she couldn’t help being the slightest bit disappointed that Gill’s little rust bucket Fiesta was nowhere to be seen.

“Oh wonderful Andi.” she grumbled to herself, “What were you planning on doing if it was there? Inviting her in to share your dinner and talk about tax relief?”

Someone as cute as Gill was bound to have any number of fun things to do on a Saturday night. And they sure as hell didn’t include a woman practically old enough to be her mother, she thought disgustedly as she flopped on the couch with her dinner and a cold beer.

Andi awoke to white noise on the television and stretched gingerly. She was stiff from sleeping on the couch and annoyed that she had missed the end of a movie yet again. This was becoming a habit. Looking at her watch in the glow from the screen she was startled to see it was nearly 5.30am. Damn she had slept virtually the whole night away. Now that was a new twist, normally she woke about 1 or 2 am and put herself to bed.

Getting stiffly to her feet she wondered out loud if it would be worth the trouble of attempting to sleep just for the sake of another hour. No, she might as well go for an early morning run. Andi wondered what people would think about her talking to herself this way. Perhaps she should get a cat; it seemed permissible to talk to animals, even if they didn’t answer back. Then again, perhaps not. If her record with house plants was anything to go by, the poor thing wouldn’t last a week. Her Sunday morning run was about the only exercise she got these days. There had been a time when she had run nearly everyday; glorying in the freedom from figures and spreadsheets, letting her mind empty, whilst her feet had pounded the coastal paths near the San Jose house. Since moving here, she just didn’t seem to have the time on weekday mornings.

By six o’clock, fortified with coffee, Andi was impatiently checking the sky outside her window and decided it would be light enough by the time she reached the park. She slipped the spare house key under the lining of her trainer and closed the front door quietly behind her.

“Shoot, I wouldn’t have taken you for a runner, nice legs though.”

As her eyes adjusted to the gloom she saw Gill stretching her hamstrings against the wall, dressed in a grey crop top and matching shorts. She was looking Andy up and down in a way that would have made a lesser woman blush, if Andi hadn’t been doing exactly the same thing herself. “Geez Louise!” she thought heatedly. “What a body!” There simply wasn’t an ounce of spare flesh on Gill’s compact little frame and her breasts, straining against the soft, stretch material of the top, were doing interesting things to Andi’s cardiovascular rate long before she had even started to warm up. Suddenly she was uncomfortably aware of the softness around her middle, which spoke of too many takeaway lunches and dinners eaten at her desk lately.

“You’re up early.” She smiled before jogging slowly off down the sidewalk with Gill right at her shoulder, not sure if she was happy about the company or not. Not that it appeared she was going to be given a choice in the matter. With her sweet smile and big brown eyes Gill reminded her of nothing more than an affable puppy, absolutely certain that its tagging along was exactly what you had in mind.

“Nah, normal for me. I run every morning at this time, too much to fit into my days to spend them in bed, .alone.” Andi wasn’t quite sure if she had imagined the last word and chose to ignore the innuendo, starving her imagination of any visuals. Fumbling to change the direction of the conversation, she decided to turn the tables back on Gill.

“So you seem to have found out all this is to know about me, I’d say turn about is fair play, wouldn’t you? What else is there to know about Gill…?” here she paused, realizing she didn’t even know her companion’s surname.

“Hadley, Gill Hadley. Well leastways that’s my married surname. Not sure as yet if I will be going back to my maiden name of Boulden once the divorce is final.”

Andi’s spirits sunk, though mentally she was annoyed with herself for letting it affect her that way. . Hadn’t she picked this gal for straight from the get go? Her ebullient friendliness and flirtatiousness most likely extended to everyone she met, she was just a natural Sally Sunshine. Gill didn’t seem to notice any change in her demeanor and was happily babbling on.

“We’ve been separated nine months. Initially I stayed in the house and he moved out, but I got to thinking, what on earth did I need with four bedrooms, two bathrooms and all that garden to upkeep? He was gonna fight me every inch of the way so I thought, damn, let him have it. The settlement terms means he pays me enough to cover my rent and utilities. Well, most days anyways”.

They swung through the park entrance and soon settled into a steady rhythm around the soft grass running track. Andi was concentrating on keeping her breathing steady and even, more than glad to let Gill do most of the talking. Not, she thought wryly, that it appeared to be any problem for the younger woman who was managing to talk a mile a minute, keep running and still look as fresh as if she just stepped out of a shower. Andi was very aware of the sheen of sweat breaking out on her face and neck and darkening the front of her singlet top.

“I’m much happier in my little unit than I ever was in that big house.” Gill confided as they headed up the slight rise at the northern end of the park for the third time. “I used to wander from room to room looking for something to clean. I swear the cat used to light out when he saw me coming, I would have polished him if he’d sat still long enough!

She gave an infectious chuckle and Andi couldn’t stop the corners of her mouth turning up, though she tried hard not to laugh out loud, not wanting to betray how labored her breathing was becoming. Was this gal ever going to stop? As they reached the park entry gates for the fourth time, she knew her legs weren’t going to carry her another circuit and that, as much as it galled her, she would have to cry Uncle.

“That’s it for me.” Andy said, puffed and slowing to a walk. “You keep going if you like though.” She groaned as she bent over the water fountain and let the cool spray hit her in the face. Straightening up she found Gill still standing beside her, her eyes glued to the beads of water running down Andi’s neck and over the swell of her breasts. Hell she looks as if she wants to devour me whole, Andi thought embarrassedly and then their eyes locked and a jolt of lustful recognition seared between them for an unspoken second. Shocked Andi dropped her eyes and moved aside so that Gill could access the fountain, wondering if the sudden shaking in her legs and stomach was as a result of the run or something more. She moved a few steps away and dropped down on the grass under a shady tree, purposefully averting her eyes from the sight of Gill’s trim little butt as she bent forward drinking. Oh, this was not good, not good at all, she admonished herself. Damn it, you know the rules.

Chapter 5

Andi had been aware of her same sex attraction from as early on as Junior High, maybe even before that. In the time between then and when she had met Lana, she had had her share of girlfriends. Actually, she laughed inwardly, if she was truthful probably her share and a few other peoples as well! She hadn’t used her Business and Accounting qualifications straight out of college. Sick to death of sitting in a classroom she’d preferred to turn her hand to a variety of jobs that kept her outside and on the go; amongst others a security guard at a shopping mall, park gardener, bike courier and even a stint as a postal worker. Back then fitness and strength had come easily and her image as a tanned, strong, soft-butch meant she had found no shortage of gals to play with, and occasionally, stay with, for short periods of time. And they’d been all shapes and sizes and colors as the younger Andi’s catchphrase at the time had been ‘So many beautiful women, so little time’. But the one hard and fast rule she had made for herself and adhered to almost like a religion was ‘No Straight Gals‘, no how - no way. She’d seen the chaos that generally followed in the wake of these ‘I’ll try anything once’ types. Had seen them flirt and engage and play with the gay gals, only to run back to men when their curiosity was sated or their partner had got serious and suddenly they couldn’t handle being in a minority spotlight. It was a sensible rule and it had served Andi well, so why on earth now, at this age, was she blushing and yearning for a woman on the other side of the fence?

“Whew, it’s gonna be a hot one today!” Gill said as she tumbled down beside her; all the charged air and chemistry that had flared between them seemingly dissipated. “Ten minutes rest then I need to skedaddle for home; I’ve got to study for a few hours before work.” She grinned happily. “God I know this might sound insane, but I enjoy study and I love going to school.”

Andi laughed good-naturedly with her. “You are insane,” she replied, “who ever likes having to study, much less loves it? But seriously Gill, getting back to what you were saying earlier about your ex and the settlement, surely you should have got more than that? I mean, where did you live, what area?” Gill named an up market suburb of Sacramento and Andi gave a low whistle. “Holy shit gal, how could you let him get away that easy? You had to be entitled to at least half of everything, if not more.”

Gill sat up, hugging her knees and looking pained. “I know it doesn’t make sense to you but when I finally got the nerve to leave, I just didn’t want anything from him. I’d been trapped for eighteen years in a marriage with a man who decided every aspect of my life, from what I ate for breakfast down to the clothes I wore and the friends I could see. I just wanted enough so I could be independent and make my own way in life.” Her words were interrupted by Andi’s exclamation of disbelief.

“Eighteen years! How could you be possibly have been married for that long, were you a child bride or what? I mean, how old are you Gill?”

She was dumfounded and guessed that her mouth was probably hanging open.

Gill’s eyes danced as she surveyed the shocked look on Andi’s face. “Not quite a child bride though we did get married just after my seventeenth birthday. I was still in high school -- in fact I never went back and competed my final year. He made enough money and didn’t see the need if he was gonna look after me. I was a little bimbo back then, I thought it a great lark to play house and be grown up - no study and no curfews. Or so I imagined in the beginning.” She snorted regretfully. “Anyhow Ms. Accountant, you do the math. Eighteen plus seventeen makes me…?”

“Thirty five? Hell, I thought you, well, I mean I assumed you were not much more than mid twenties. You wear it well hon.”

Andi’s senses were whirling. So she was only twelve years older than Gill, that wasn’t so bad; the same as the gap between her and Lana. Suddenly she pulled her thoughts up with a jerk. What was she thinking? Didn’t she still blame the difference in their ages for a lot of what had happened in that relationship, though when they initially met it hadn’t seemed such a big deal. She remembered Lana laughing and commenting that Andi was the youngest thirty five year old she had ever met. Something had shifted inside her that day. She was sure Lana was ‘the one’ and all of Andi’s protect and provide qualities had come rushing to the forefront; she couldn’t mess around with her life anymore, it was time to get serious. And she had; renewing her qualifications, taking a clerking position in a large accountancy firm, studying on the weekends, moving up through the ranks. Then came the mortgage and bills and her own company and…oh hell! It was a light bulb moment and Andi couldn’t escape the illumination it was throwing all over her past. It was so patently clear to her now. Quite simply, she had stopped being fun. Stopped being the very person Lana had fallen in love with and got so damn mired down in being an adult and taking responsibility for everything. She had stuffed her inner child so far back in its box, she had never again seen the light of day. She had only been thirty five, the same age Gill was now, and she had become… Old!

Gill sat quietly, watching the shadow that swept across Andi’s face and wondered at its cause, yet didn’t comment. She may have been a chatterbox but she also knew when to shut up. A quiet voice whispered that there was much more to Andi than met the eye and carefully, carefully was going to have to be the order of the day if she was to get any closer to this woman. Oh, but she intended to get very close indeed. From the first moment she had watched Andi getting into her truck outside their units, she had been intrigued and from the day they had spoken their first words, it had been a lost cause. Gill had spent most of her life doing what other people wanted of her but now it was time to have a little of what she desired for herself. And she desired Andi, big-time!

They jogged companionably back towards home, parting company on the front walk. As Gill bounded up the steps she stopped and turned back to address Andi who was retrieving the door key from her trainer.

“I have to work till two pm, and then I’m going to rewrite this assignment one last time. If I make dinner for you tonight do you think maybe you could check it over for me? Seriously, I really need a good mark on this one.

” Seeing Andi’s initial hesitation she ramped up the pleading tone and added exaggerated sad puppy dog eyes for effect. “Please Andi, I’ll make lasagna!” She knew the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach and figured that would most likely work for soft butches too. And it did. She grinned as she watched Andi fight and lose an inner battle with herself.

“OK you got me.” Andi said smiling. “What time shall I come over, seven pm? No worries, I’ll bring the wine this time.”

Chapter 6

At ten minutes to seven that evening Andi, freshly showered and in a crisp pair of chinos and a button-down shirt, stood nervously on Gill’s front doorstep, wondering for the thousandth time that day, what on earth she was doing. It was likely going to be a disaster, she decided, leaning on the doorbell but somehow she felt compelled to go through with it. When Gill answered the door and led her into the kitchen area, she knew the disaster had just reached unmanageable proportions. This gal was plain gorgeous. Although her hair was short, she’d done something to it that Andi vaguely guessed required all sorts of hair product and blow drying, and the effect was like a soft halo around her face. Plus she was wearing a short denim skirt and a pretty pale blue embroidered t-shirt, the scooped neck of which was giving Andi a great view of those deliciously rounded breasts.

“Here’s the wine, I got red, figured it would go with the lasagna.” Andi got this much out then gave up and leaned against the doorframe awkwardly as she watched the other woman move busily about the kitchen. After checking the sizzling dish in the oven, Gill dealt efficiently with the bottle cork and filled two glasses, handing one to Andi with a coy smile. Oh Lord, give me strength, Andi thought to herself, doesn’t she know what she is doing to me? Gill smelled of soap and flowers and her lips were outlined in the softest coral color that had Andi wondering what they would taste like against hers. As Gill clinked their wineglasses lightly she remarked, “To new beginnings.” and once again they both felt that same sizzling arc of electricity they had recognized earlier in the park.

Andi decided that Gill probably knew all to well what effect she was having and took refuge in brusqueness.

“Well, how far away from dinner are we? Do you want me to read this assignment now or later?” she said gruffly.

When Gill indicated that they would not eat for another twenty minutes or so Andi moved to the coffee table and thankfully lost herself in the complexities of tax law. If the truth be told, she doubted her trembling legs wouldn’t have held her up a moment longer.

Gill let her read in silence for a while as she began preparations for the meal: setting the small table with cutlery, plates and napkins and then serving the lasagna, green salad and garlic bread. Andi ate appreciatively; certainly a regime of frozen dinners and carryout made home cooking taste that much better. They made small talk about nothing in particular till finally she pushed her chair back from the table with a groan.

“Oh God, if I eat another mouthful, I will just burst. That was unbelievably good, Gill, thank you. Now, I had better get back to that assignment of yours before I repeat my stunt from last time and fall asleep in my chair.”

“Too true, we can’t have you that” Gill replied with an impish grin. “Just give me a minute to chuck these plates in the dishwasher and I’ll join you. That is…´she paused and gave Andi a slow, searching look, “unless you want dessert first?” The innuendo was unexpected but unmistakable and instantly a red heat washed over Andi, her mind racing with the thought of what it would feel like to hold Gill’s soft body against her own - to kiss her, caress her, taste her. With a visible shudder she pushed away the wave of desire and answered in as neutral a tone as was possible, given her sudden state of arousal.

“No thanks, right now I couldn’t eat another bite.” Andi said as she dropped her eyes back to the papers in her lap. Gill’s mouth curled momentarily in a wicked grin as she turned and began packing up the remnants of their meal. Oh, Andi, Andi, Andi, she thought. You aren’t fooling me one little bit and if you think I am that easily put off, you just haven’t seen anything yet. A few minutes later, she plopped herself down on the sofa, her thigh pressed against Andi’s and, point by point, they dissected the assignment, Gill making red highlight points in the margin where necessary. Not that there were many of these as she had got the bulk of the work down pat. Andi ratcheted her opinion of Gill’s smarts up another notch, knowing as she did now that this girl had never even finished high school. What a waste of intellect! she thought disgustedly, to be married to some dominating man at just seventeen

Gill finally laid the papers down on the coffee table with a quiet hallelujah. “That is great. I can make the corrections in the morning and turn it in by two pm. How can I ever thank you Andi?” The question hung in the air between them: the good food and wine, the closeness of their bodies on the sofa and the previous unstated sexual tension all combined to create a situation that lowered Andi’s normally resolute defenses. Her breath seemed to catch in her throat as she watched Gill’s face move slowly towards hers and felt the soft touch of lips pressed against her own. She groaned audibly, then, no longer able to control the need coursing through her body, slid her hand behind Gill’s neck and drew her closer, deepening the kiss until she felt Gill’s lips part and their tongues begin to dance. They were both breathing heavily when Andi jerked herself away and jumped to her feet; running her hand through her hair in a gesture that Gill would later learn meant she was extremely worried or confused.

“Damn it Gill, this is not a good idea. That is not the sort of payment I had in mind and you know it,” she gasped.

Andi’s hands were shaking visibly and right now she would have killed for a cigarette, despite the fact that she had given up nearly ten years ago.

“We barely know each other,’ she continued resolutely, “and I have no intention of having a one night stand. Not with anyone but especially not some newly separated straight woman looking for a cheap thrill!”

The intensity of her response to the kiss made her speak more harshly than she intended and she immediately wanted to bite off her own tongue as she saw the hurt look in Gill’s eyes. She looked like a puppy whipped for a transgression it didn’t understand, Andi thought, but she couldn’t bring herself to move the few feet separating them and apologize. For several seconds they seemed frozen in place then Andi sighed and tried to explain.

“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so rough on you but its best we just forget this ever happened. Thank you again the dinner, I’d better be getting on .I’ll let myself out,” she said.

As she watched Andi retreat, Gill sank back down on the couch and castigated herself for being every kind of idiot under the sun. She should have explained first, she thought miserably. Being so new to all this somehow she had assumed that Andi’s gaydar would have kicked in but obviously all she could see and hear was what Gill herself had volunteered. That she had been married forever and was not long separated. Now Andi thought she was nothing but a straight gal playing games. Laying her head down on the couch, Gill sighed in despair. This was going to be harder than she had thought.

Chapter 7

Keeping busy had always been Andi’s answer to stress and for the rest of that week she left home early and came back late. Although loathing herself for the hurt she had caused Gill, she was nevertheless determined not to let her heart convince her head to go against her own rules. Still she tossed and turned restlessly at night with dreams of spaniels with big sad eyes featuring prominently. On Thursday night she let herself wearily into her unit and picked up the mail as she headed for the kitchen. Amongst the junk and the bills was a plain white envelope with just her name handwritten on the front and, curious, she opened it first. In an untidy scrawl Gill had written:

Dear Andi, I’m sorry I made a mess of the other night but I’d really appreciate a chance to explain. Would you like to drop by for a drink on Friday night, I promise to stay six feet away from you at all times. J/k OK? Anytime after you get home will do. Gill

Andi sighed resignedly. Whether she deemed it a smart move or not, she knew she would go and listen to what Gill had to say tomorrow night. Just as she also knew she would argue with herself right up to the moment that she went. What was it about this gal that had her so hot and bothered, Andi mused? She may not have dated much of late but it hadn’t stopped her noticing some fine women who came in to get their taxes done, several of whom had reminded her very obviously that she now had their addresses and phone numbers on permanent record. But no one she had met since her break up with Lana had turned her world upside down like this pint-size dynamo next door. Just being in the same room with Gill had the effect of robbing her of coherent speech and thought, as well as filling her body with an ache that demanded to be satisfied.

It was a noticeably subdued Gill who opened her door on Friday evening and invited Andi in to sit on the couch. Gill remained standing; enquiring awkwardly about drinks and seeming somewhat relieved when Andi suggested that a beer would be fine. It distressed Andi to see the strain lines around Gill’s mouth and the black smudges under her eyes and her heart lurched painfully with the knowledge that her harsh words had most likely been the cause of them.. Why hadn’t she been less abrasive in her manner of speech? Invariably she tended to speak first and repent at leisure and somehow age just didn’t seem to be bringing with it the wisdom it so blithely promised. It was time to suck it up and apologize.

“Gill, I’m so sorry for what I said the other night. It was as much my fault as yours and I should have known better than to tear into you like I did. I would appreciate it if you would please accept my sincere apology” She had planned on suggesting that they take a step back and attempt to just be good neighbors when Gill interrupted, her voice pitched a little higher than usual as the words tumbled over themselves in her efforts to be understood.

“No, no, Andi, I didn’t ask you here for an apology. I wanted to explain that I am, I mean that I was, I mean I’m not what you think. Well, I was married, that much is true but you see there was once --” Exasperated by her failure with words, Gill snatched up a photo album from the kitchen bench top and slid it across the coffee table to Andi, pointing to a page of fading Polaroids.

“Here, this is me and that was Kendall, my best friend back then,” she explained, pointing to a page of fading Polaroids.

Two young girls gazed out of the photos: one, dark haired and uncomfortable with the camera, was obviously Gill. The other, blonde, blue eyed and pony-tailed, smiled confidently into the lens. Frozen together for all time, they sat on the hood of an old Mustang, posed in front of the school gym, stood side by side at a football game, played with a pet dog on someone’s front lawn. They could have been any two girls, anyplace, anytime and, after studying the photos, Andi looked up at Gill feeling somewhat perplexed. “They’re lovely, but I’m not sure what it is I am supposed to be seeing here?” she commented.

Her hesitancy finally brought Gill out of her comfort zone on the other side of the coffee table to turn the page to the final photo in the album. It was a group shot of three girls on a blanket at the beach; two of them bikini clad and laying on their stomachs with eyes closed as they dozed in the sunshine. But it was the figure to the side and foreground of the shot that drew Andi’s attention. It was Gill, dressed in shorts and a tank; she sat staring pensively at the closer of the two prone figures. From the blonde ponytail Andi picked her for the same gal in all the previous snaps. What did Gill say her name was, Kendall? Her eyes were drawn to the expression on the young Gill’s face: there was no mistaking the yearning, the longing, and the love shining from those brown eyes. Startled she looked up, and searched those same brown eyes, nearly twenty years on and finally understood what was being told.

Gill nodded gently. “I loved her so much. We’d been friends since we were eight years old and from the day we met, nothing mattered more to me in the world than making Kendall happy. We were inseparable and so miserable when parted that our parents used to joke that we were obviously twins separated at birth. We wore the same clothes, had to have the same toys, read the same books and went everywhere together; if I wasn’t sleeping at her house then she was at mine. Me, I’m an only child,” Gill explained. “but Kendall had three brothers and her parents thought it was good for her to have a girl to play with.” Gill snorted and almost smiled. “Trouble was, I was such a tomboy when we played I was always the cowboy rescuing her from the Indians, or the knight slaying the dragon. Just the same I still suffered through quite a few Barbie parties because that’s what she wanted. Hell, I couldn’t deny her anything.”

Gill was now sitting on the edge of the coffee table, her body tense and her eyes fixed on a spot somewhere on the back wall. Andi knew that posture and the far away look in Gill’s eyes only too well; she had been to that place herself, suffering the pain of recalled memories, so she sat back and quietly waited.

“It was the year we were both thirteen that I began to realize what I felt for Kendall was not quite the norm.” Gill addressed the wall as she spoke. “Sleepovers excited me and I found any excuse to touch or stroke her skin and cuddle up. Eventually our parents decided that we were too old to be sharing a bed and I had to be content with just being in the same room, talking and giggling, listening to her fall asleep. It was enough. Well for a few more years anyway, until Kendall discovered boys, or should I say the boys discovered her. I didn’t really blame them in an odd sort of way, she was so beautiful.” Gill’s voice trailed off and her fingers gently caressed the photo on her lap.

“I was losing her from then on; no matter how hard I tried she was slipping away from me. Looking back it was rather pathetic.” Gill finally looked up and caught Andi’s eye with a wry smile. “I pretended to be happy about each new boyfriend she found. We sat up late at nights extolling all their finer points when she was ‘in love’. And even later nights discussing what bastards they were when they broke her heart, or she dumped them. It became such a pattern that I started to believe she would always come back to me. I’d buy her flowers or chocolates, pick her up for movies, take her out to eat and insist on paying. Kendall would always laugh and say that I made a much better boyfriend than any of them. We were so very young, too young for me to realize that it couldn’t last.”

After a few moments silence Andi enquired casually. “Did you two have a falling out then? Over one of the boyfriends?”

“Yes and no.” Gill replied somewhat shakily. It was obvious tears were not far from the surface.” The boyfriend came later; it was what happened first, between us that changed everything. One night, she came home from a party in tears because some jerk had stood her up. She’d been drinking and she crawled in through the window and into my bed. Oh God, Andi, she felt so good in my arms. I was holding and stroking her, wiping her tears like I had so many times before and that was when it happened .She kissed me! Just hauled off and kissed me full on the lips and I kissed her back. I wasn’t thinking about anything other than someone had finally opened the door to heaven and let me in. I remember her whispering in my ear that she had been right, I was much better than the boys she had been with.”

The room was silent for several minutes till Andi spoke up again.

“Hey, so what happened then? You’ve told me this much, there’s no point in stopping halfway.””

“Nothing happened.” Gill’s voice was flat and devoid of emotion. “Nothing at all. After kissing me Kendall passed out and in the morning she pretended nothing had ever happened. Who knows, maybe she didn’t even remember. But after that, she began distancing herself from me, bit by bit. She stopped coming over, stopped calling, made excuses for anything I suggested we do and very quickly found herself a new boyfriend, the captain of the football team. I started waiting by her car after school, desperate to see her; I was crazy enough to think I could talk her out of this infatuation and win her back. What a stupid little idiot I was.” The vehemence with which Gill spat out the last few words startled Andi into taking her by the shoulders and shaking her gently.

“No, Don’t say that about yourself hon. you weren’t much more than a kid, you couldn’t help how you felt,” she admonished.

The warmth of Andi’s hands melted a little of the ice that had been crushing Gill’s heart and she gave a watered-down version of her usual high- powered grin.

“Oh, I was stupid all right, these days I’d most likely be arrested for stalking. I used to leave notes in her locker, waylay her in the corridors, camp on her doorstep, ring a dozen times a day. I had totally lost the plot. Eventually things got nasty, really nasty. Kendall’s boyfriend and a few of his buddies cornered me one afternoon in the gym. They told me if I didn’t leave her alone they would tell everyone in school that I was a dyke and make sure my parents heard it too. You need to understand, that back then I didn’t even have a name for how I felt. All I knew was I loved Kendall but these crazies were threatening to destroy my world. I panicked and began cutting classes, days, sometimes whole weeks. I told my parents I was ill and in a way I was. I couldn’t eat, I wasn’t sleeping well, so scared that any moment someone would look at me and see the word ‘queer’ tattooed on my forehead. Panic was rapidly giving way to paranoia and it was during this time I met Rick.”

“Your husband?” Andi prompted and Gill nodded in reply.

“Rick worked in the market down the road from my home. He was seven years older than me, already a Manager and very ambitious and hardworking .Plus a nice looking guy. He started talking to me whenever I went in and seemed interested in why I wasn’t in school, that sort of thing,” she said sitting back with an expression that clearly said how could I have been so stupid? Andi was rapidly coming to the realization that there were no artifices at all surrounding Gill, everything she thought or felt showed as clearly on her face as if she had spoken the words out loud.

“Soon he was actively courting me. He knew just how to charm my parents by coming around in the early evening and sitting talking to them, before requesting permission to take me for a walk or down to the Dairy Queen. He never kept me out late or gave them anything to worry over”. Gill explained. “Well, I guess they were concerned about the age difference but at that time they just didn’t know what to do with me and were grateful for his intervention. What they didn’t know was that he was coming around to the house during his lunch break and we were…” Gill’s voice broke slightly and she flushed before clearing her throat and carrying on. “We were having sex. I was bowled over by his interest and his persistence. I wanted to be normal, Andi, you need to understand that. Back then I had some half-assed idea that if Kendall knew I was going with a guy, somehow we could be friends again! But she just didn’t want to know me period. I guess I was an embarrassment, a reminder of something she wanted to forget.”

Gill was on her feet now, pacing the floor. “Getting married just kind of happened. I had missed so much school that I was suspended and looking at having to repeat, but I was truly terrified of someone outing me there. Rick offered me an escape; he wanted a wife, a very traditional wife, to stay home and keep house, cook his dinner, darn his socks even, and I grabbed it with both hands. Looking back, I can only guess that I was in denial about my sexuality, figuring it was just a phase that I’d grow out of. And for the longest while, it seemed to work. I cleaned, polished, baked, sewed and gardened like I was about to be awarded Homemaker of the Year status. Richard got promoted, several times in quick succession and when he got a transfer interstate, I was as pleased as he was. It got me away from Kendall. I couldn‘t handle seeing her around, it still hurt too much.”

Chapter 8

Andi had been keeping quiet and letting her talk but when Gill paused for breath, she quickly interrupted.

“Girl you are making me dizzy pacing back and forth like that. How about you grab us another beer then come park your butt before you wear a hole in the floor?”

This attempt at levity had the desired effect of dissolving some of the tension coiled in Gill’s small frame and she visibly relaxed as she popped off the bottle tops and handed Andi another cold one, before settling herself back against the cushions and taking a long swig.

“Ahhh, damn that is good! So there we were,” she continued, “new town, new job, new friends and for a while things were pretty good. Several times I thought about finishing up high school but Rick always had reasons why it wasn’t feasible right then. I mean he never actually forbade it as such, but he always managed to convince me to put it off to a later date. He kept me on a pretty tight rein those first ten years or so. In the beginning I didn‘t actually mind much, he seemed so mature and smart and I felt I needed him to tell me what to wear and how to act when we went out socially. Most of the time it was with people older even than him, so I was way out of my depth and I guess I saw his attention to every little detail of my life as caring about me.”

Gill paused and looked cautiously at Andi, as if expecting to see disgust or annoyance displayed across her features, but Andi gave her a sympathetic smile and reaching across the space between them, she smoothed the lines on Gill’s brow.

“Don’t look so worried, hon, it’s only natural you would think like that. I’m guessing that he didn’t encourage you to keep regular contact with your family back home either. Am I right?”

Gill nodded her assent. “Spot on, he liked me to be available for him and him only. Rick could throw a tantrum better than any two year old if he thought I was letting anyone else come before him. As I got older and began making some friends in the neighborhood, they didn’t understand why I got so anxious about anyone dropping in for a visit close to dinnertime. Truly it wasn’t worth the consequences and the days of walking on eggshells afterwards, wondering when he would stop being cold and snappy with me. But I was also beginning to look at the way my friends and their partners interacted and realize that the way Rick behaved was not the norm. I saw that these women had independent lives away from their marriages that their husbands actively encouraged.”

Gill raised her beer bottle to her lips and expressed surprise that it was empty.

“Shit!” She shot a devilish grin at Andi. “Boy that disappeared fast, must be all the talking I’m doing. Wanna go another?” Her normal good humor was returning and Andi couldn’t help enjoying that smile, so quickly chugging the last of her beer, she proffered the empty and took the refill offered without protest.

Andi sighed and stretched her arms above her head. Finally it seemed she too could relax after a week of unhappiness. Not that she intended to let this get anyways out of hand, but the story unfolding was intriguing. Her original concern that Gill was a straight girl playing games was dissolving with each new revelation. And she was pleasantly buzzed from the beer, so what harm could there be in sliding her arm along the back of the sofa so, when Gill sat down again, it was perfectly placed to stroke the back of her neck and shoulders? No harm at all except for the little jump of fire in her belly that radiated throughout her body at the feel of Gill’s warm, soft skin under her fingers. Andi swallowed hard in an effort to distract herself from the unnerving sensations and prodded Gill verbally to continue her story.

“So you started your own little rebellion then? I mean, you must have because here you are, as free and independent as they come. So tell me what happened that put such a bomb under you,” she teased.

Gill chuckled out loud at this turn of phrase. “Not a what but a WHO! Sarah Jane Wyatt is who. I used to read a lot and she was the new librarian one summer. The word was she had recently moved to the area from L.A., single and very cute. And very, very gay and not at all afraid of flaunting it. Oh God, that feels good, don’t stop!”

Gill’s storytelling was momentarily silenced as Andi’s hand rubbed the nape of her neck and shoulders and she shuddered noticeably, before resuming with a slightly huskier tone to her voice.

“Sarah Jane! What can I say about that woman other than she knew what she wanted - and what she wanted was me. Lord knows why, or what she saw that indicated I would be receptive, but see it she did.”

Gill paused and took another long pull on her beer, using the moment to twist her body sideways, indicating that Andi should use both hands to massage the tense muscles in her shoulders. It was, she acknowledged to herself, getting harder and harder to keep her place in the story. The feelings Andi’s hands were stirring up had turned the blood in her body to something approximating warm maple syrup, as well as having a delicious effect on certain other parts of her anatomy.

“In the end, it was pretty simple actually. She pursued, I retreated, she pursued some more, I stood there blinking like a deer caught in the headlights, she pounced - and I don’t recall struggling at all. It was as if all those years as a wife and straight woman just peeled away, like a dress-up costume, the moment her lips closed on mine.”

Andi’s hands were now roaming down the length of Gill’s arms and back to her shoulders. There was a distant part of her brain trying to penetrate the heat haze enveloping her body, screaming something about this not being a good idea. But it never had a snowball’s chance in Hades as Andi grinned to herself and leaned forward, her lips almost brushing Gill’s ear.

“So, she woke you up, little one. Tell me about it, was it good, your first time?” She almost growled the words and had the instant satisfaction of hearing Gill groan as she leant her body back into Andi’s and quivered from the recollection.

“Ahhh, yeah, it was so good”. Gill replied. “She took me in her apartment one sunny afternoon with the windows open and the sounds of everyday life drifting in though the curtains. I may have been a late-bloomer but you better believe I was a fast learner. It felt so good, so natural and right.”

Twisting around in Andi’s arms, so they now faced each other, Gill smiled and continued.

“Suddenly I knew what had been missing all those years. It felt just like coming home but there was pain too. Subconsciously I had made myself forget Kendall but now the floodgates were opened and I was forced to deal with all the memories, including the sense of loss and hurt I had felt at her actions. Hardest of all, I had to face the fact that my marriage had been a sham. That there had been no real love for Rick, just thankfulness for the escape route he had provided.”

Reaching out Andi wiped away the suspicion of a tear from the corner of Gill’s eye, before pulling her into a gentle embrace and whispering softly, “But I can see you’ve come a long way since then and I’m sending up a prayer of thanksgiving to Sarah Jane Wyatt, wherever she is!”

Her lips were dropping soft kisses over Gill’s neck and cheeks; she was breathing in the clean, warm smell of her skin and she could feel her own heartbeat pounding in her ears. Caution and reason, hallmarks of the life she had lead the past four years had been cast aside and it didn’t feel scary at all, Andi thought wonderingly. She slid a finger under Gill’s chin and tilted her face up. Blue eyes met brown and recognition of their mutual want and need was silently acknowledged before their lips met, gently at first, then more urgently as they surrendered equally to those twin passions.

Soft kisses, hard kisses, gentle tasting and urgent taking, joyful giving and grateful receiving. Andi was unable to remember when something in her life had ever felt as good as this but somehow she was managed to subdue her innate need to control the situation completely determined to let Gill set the pace of their lovemaking. Because that was certainly what this initial collision of lips and tongues and feverished stroking over clothed bodies, would become. Eventually they would end up transferring from the confined space of the couch to the relative luxury of the bedroom but she wanted this to be something they both desired equally. Her line of thought was interrupted by Gill placing a hand on either side of her face and pushing back slightly, a maneuver designed to separate two pairs of lips that were in danger of becoming fused.

“Andi, babe.” Her breath was coming in gasps and Andi couldn’t help leaning in and stealing another kiss from those trembling lips as they struggled to form the words.

“Hey, don’t cheat, unfair” Gill exclaimed breathlessly. “Listen there really is one more thing you need to know before we, well, you know, before things go too much further here. Ah!!!”

Gill groaned as two hands slipped around her butt, one from each side, and pulled her even more tightly against Andi’s body which was now stretched the length of the couch. She wriggled futilely for a moment, and then stopped when she realized from the satisfied smirk her struggles were invoking, that Andi liked that way too much. Panting, she lay quietly, enjoying her entrapment, before trying one last time.

“Look, it’s not that I don’t want you. Hell, I’ve wanted you since before you even knew I existed! But I feel there is one more thing I should tell you…” Yet again her remonstrations were cut short by a finger laid softly against her lips.

“Hon, you have said more than enough for the moment, we have a long time ahead of us to catch up on life stories. Heaven knows I have a few confessions of my own.” Andi smiled and tried to look coy, not succeeding for a second. “Right now, I definitely have a few better ideas about how to spend the rest of this evening, but they don’t include the spring that is poking into my lower back. So if you wouldn’t mind taking me into your bedroom, I could no doubt expand on my plans more coherently in a soft bed.”

Andi struggled to a sitting position, then up to her feet, pulling Gill with her into an embrace that started at the couch and ended up with the pair of them tumbling across Gill’s bed.

Several hours went by in what mysteriously seemed like a much shorter time interval to the bemused Gill, as she lay, wrapped in Andi’s arms, sleepily eyeing the bedside clock. Her body felt heavy and sated. Her partner had proved to be a considerate and thorough lover, both on the giving and receiving side of things, but the need for total honesty was still giving Gill little pinpricks of conscience. Maybe it would be easier to disclose her secret here, with the darkness leavened only by the faint light coming from under the bathroom door.

“Hon,” she whispered. “It’s only fair that you should know this one thing about me because it’s really important.”

She had been talking for several minutes before she realized, partly from the lack of response and mostly from the loud snoring just above her right ear, that Andi was fast asleep and wouldn’t have heard a word. Sighing, Gill gave up the task and let herself sink slowly into slumber, relishing the warm soft body wrapped around hers and sending up her own silent prayer of thanks to Sarah Jane. Her last coherent thought was that there was really no need to worry, she’d tell Andi about Jason some other time.

Chapter 9

Andi was vaguely aware of swimming up through the layers of consciousness once again. She had already made this attempt earlier, only to find her head pounding; her mouth feeling like it was stuffed with cotton wool and the sunlight, streaming through the side of the bedroom blind, burning her eyes like a laser beam. This time she was better prepared. The knowledge that she had a hangover and wasn’t in her own bed had percolated down into her brain, so she was easing herself gently into the waking up process.

“Ouch, Andi girl, you gotta keep tabs on those beers next time.” she muttered quietly to herself, groaning as she slid out from under the sheet and looked groggily around the room for something to wear. As bad as she felt, she couldn’t help smiling at the assortment of clothing items tossed to every corner of the bedroom as she crept around quietly retrieving everything but her bra. A vague memory told her it might be somewhere in the bed itself and she didn’t want to take the chance of waking up Gill by looking for it. That lady was curled on her side, looking so young and innocent that for a moment Andi felt almost guilty about taking advantage of her last night. Then again, she grinned wickedly, Gill hadn’t exactly needed any coercing in that department. No, she’d let her sleep. It was only seven am and Andi needed to slip back to her own unit to shower and dress for work as she had several early appointments. In the living area she found a pen and wrote a short note, which she anchored beneath one of the empty beer bottles, the number of which, she reflected wryly, accounted for the demons beating tom toms inside her skull. Still the memory of the pleasure she and Gill had found together was making her smile despite her condition. It was early days she knew, but Andi just couldn’t help believing that this was so much more than a one night stand. Fighting off an insane urge to whistle, she quietly closed the front door and went home to get ready for what was suddenly looking like first day of the rest of her life

Next door Gill slept on, through the sound of Andi‘s truck departing and the persistent beeping of text messages on her cell phone. The sleeplessness of the past week, too many Buds and the blissful after-effects of the lovemaking was a powerful combination and it was almost midday before she finally rolled onto her back and stretched blissfully. Blessed with a metabolism that could handle just about anything she rarely suffered from hangovers or stomach upsets so, after a quick trip to the bathroom, her next foray was into the kitchen. Fortified by a bowl of Cheerios, Gill settled down on the couch to read Andi’s note.

Good morning Sunshine! Hope you had a great sleep. I’ve got clients all day and won’t get finished up at the Laundromat until around 5pm. Maybe you would like to see a movie?? See ya later, Love Andi XXX

Gill grinned to herself, was this a great Saturday or what? A little bit more work and then her assignment was out of the way, plenty of time to potter round and tidy up the unit and she had a date for the movies tonight. It just couldn’t get any better than that. And after the movies? Oh Lord, she groaned feeling the heat rush through her just at the thought of what she and Andi might do later that night. Perhaps it was time to drag her mind out of the gutter and get dressed. The beeping of her cell phone interrupted her lustful reverie and she grabbed it off the coffee table, wondering if that sexy woman from last night was texting her, also unable to concentrate. Her eyes widened in surprise as she read the message.

Hi, B there by 5. Can’t w8 2 C U Luv Jason

Holy shit, but he was supposed to be in L.A.? Just then Gill noticed the earlier messages that had arrived whilst she slept. The first read:

Surprise! Got lift with buddy, arr. 5, stay over OK? Keep hugs warm, luv Jason

And the second:

On road making good time, C U soon, Luv Jason

Oh wow, Gill thought, I knew I should have come clean last night, this was going to be interesting. A little of her earlier enthusiasm for the day was tempered by anxiety at whether this would change things in Andi’s eyes. But surely not? It would just have to be alright; after all she had no intention of pretending Jason didn’t exist. Andi would just have to learn to deal with it. And she got to see the person she loved most in this world totally unexpectedly. Gill’s good humor returned and she threw herself into cleaning up, whilst mentally running through a dinner menu for three. Andi was broadminded, she was reasonable, she’d handle this okay.

Chapter 10

What Gill’s limited knowledge of her new gay world had not equipped her to understand was that butch women don’t share - no how, no way, with no one. And make them mad enough and they were not reasonable, especially when it came to finding their woman in the arms of another, especially when that ‘other’ was a man! And it was precisely this scene that met Andi’s eyes as she drove past Gill’s front door a little before five that afternoon. Her last appointment had been a no show, allowing her to hit the Laundromat like a whirling dervish and be in and out in record time. Dinner from the Chinese was steaming on the seat beside her. They’d eat first and then catch an early movie Andi decided, her go-to personality taking charge, that way there’d still be plenty of time left in the night. Time in which she wanted to...

Kiss Gill! Only this wasn’t something that would occur later, it was happening right now on Gill’s front step, in full view of the street. Framed in the truck windscreen, Andi could only stare in disbelief at the tall, well-built guy who was picking up Gill in a bear hug as he rained kisses on her face. Through the open window, she could hear Gill squealing in mock protest but it was clear, from the tone of her shrieks, that she was more than pleased at his actions. Without thinking Andi planted her foot and kept driving but was unable to tear her eyes away from the image in her rearview mirror of Gill being thrown over the guy’s shoulder and carried into the house. Her shaking foot on the accelerator was matched by her hands on the wheel and the hot tears crowded her eyes. Pure adrenalin got her back to the office and inside before she broke down completely. Harsh sobs tore through her body as she shook violently, almost unable to believe that it had happened to her again. The scenes of Gill in the stranger’s arms began to intersperse with her flashbacks of Lana in their bed, and Andi wept unceasingly until she collapsed and slept, from sheer emotional exhaustion, on the office couch.

Some hours later she dragged herself upright in the darkness and slowly made her way back to the truck. Her mind was still enraged but her heart felt strangely numb. “You trusting fucking idiot.” she savagely castigated herself. “How many times will it take before you learn not to break your own rules? She is straight. It’s just a game for them and you’re lucky you found out before it went any further than a casual fuck. Wake up and smell the coffee, Andi.” But down deep within her soul, almost unheard, a small voice sobbed ‘but I wanted this to be real, it felt real.’ She drowned it out with a heavy stab on the accelerator, laying a solid strip of rubber across the parking lot and out onto Citrus.

No lights shone from Gill’s window though her car was still parked out front, when Andi pulled up and let herself into the quiet emptiness. Sleep was out of the question but a bottle of Jack Daniels, some microwave popcorn and a few action DVDs would keep her company through the long hours until dawn. She’d run in the morning, get her life back on track and forget Gill Hadley ever existed. The fact that the gal lived next door was a situation she would deal with later.

Chapter 11

At 6am, red-eyed but resolute, Andi gently eased open her front door, only to close it almost immediately as she caught the sound of voices from the next unit.

I’m obsessed she thought grimly, easing back the curtain on her corner window in time to see the guy from yesterday getting into a car double-parked in the street. Worse still was the sight of Gill, dressed in a sleep tee and shorts, waving goodbye till the car was out of sight. Any minute doubts Andi might have had about the situation vanished like exhaled smoke and she swallowed, trying hard to hold down the fury beginning to rise unchecked through her shaking body.

He had stayed the night! How f**king dare she! Damn all these game-playing straight gals to hell and back. Andi paced and raged as she tried to keep her temper under control. It was a battle she was fated to lose: all the anger and pain she had kept contained since Lana’s betrayal bubbled to the surface like molten lava ejected from a volcano. Without consciously remembering how it happened, she found herself on Gill’s doorstep, hammering on the door and yelling her name like a maniac.

The door jerked open and Gill stood there, her face registering surprise and then more than a little alarm, as Andi pushed past her into the room without as much as a by your leave.

“Andi, what on earth is going on? You said five pm last night but you never came home. I was worried,” she began.

Gill’s anxious enquiries came to an uncertain halt as she took in the look of sheer fury on her lover’s face. Next moment she was backed up against the inside of the front door and Andi’s hands were gripping her shoulders shaking her violently.

“Oh, you were worried, were you? You must have fretted for all of ten seconds I’m sure. Long enough to decide that your little game with me had been fun but it was time to get back to the REAL thing! Couldn’t you wait even 24 hours before you had a man in your bed? Did I mean that little to you?”

As she spat the last words contemptuously into Gill’s face, the realization of what she was doing began to register and Andi’s hands dropped to her sides. She took a step back and all the fury drained from her body, leaving her white-faced and shaking. The look of terror on Gill’s face shamed her; no matter what had happened between them, verbal abuse and physical violence were never the answer and Andi knew it.

“I thought you were special,” she whispered, before turning abruptly and fumbling with the door handle which was hard to see for the sudden flood of hot tears filling her eyes.

“No, wait! Andi please wait!” Gill’s voice was high-pitched and desperate. “For God’s sake, you’ve got this all wrong. I tried to tell you this the other night but you fell asleep. Please let me explain. I had every intention of telling you about Jason, I just didn’t expect to see him quite this soon.”

“No, obviously you didn’t.” Andi sneered. “Tell me, just how did you plan on telling me? Were you going to wait till you had me really hooked then just casually interject the fact that you had another lover, a male lover, into the conversation? Let me guess, I should have known. He wants a threesome, so you have been playing up to the gay girl so he can have his little fantasy. What a pity that I saw you outside the house yesterday before you got him inside. I would have walked right into it. How pathetic do you think I am?”

“Lover? You think Jason is my lover? Oh my God Andi, are you crazy?” Now it was Gill who was yelling as she slammed shut the half opened door. “Sit down, now, and listen to me you bull-headed butch idiot!”

She could see that Andi was holding herself together by sheer force of will only; her body was still trembling with reaction to her angry outburst. But there was no fight left in her anymore and she allowed Gill to lead her to the couch where she collapsed; eyes fixed rigidly on the floor beneath her feet.

“Andi, babe, look at me, please.”

Gill’s tone was soft and pleading and despite her misery Andi felt compelled to raise her eyes, surprised to see what looked like the beginnings of a smile hovering round Gill’s lips.

“I honestly meant to tell you before, I should have and you will have the right later to forgive me or not on that count. What you need to know first off is that Jason-” Gill faltered for just a second, then took a deep breath and announced with obvious pride, “He’s my boy. Jason is my son.”

Her son? Gill had a child? But, Andi thought confusedly, that didn’t fit into the story Gill had told her - or did it? As if she were reading Andi’s mind, Gill began talking quietly.

“I know it’s a shock but I guess I wanted you to get to know me as a person first, before you found out I was a mom. My experience on this issue with Sarah Jane left me a little gun shy. You see, she wanted me to leave my husband and live with her, but she didn’t want Jason. Everything I told you about my life was true. I just omitted the part about me being five months pregnant when I got married. Jason’s eighteen now and going to UCLA in the fall. A buddy of his was making a quick trip up to Sacramento yesterday and he jumped at the opportunity for us to catch up, even if it was just overnight. ”

“He’s your son? That great big six foot-something, broad shouldered lump of a man is your son?” Andi knew she sounded incredulous but her mind was awhirl with all this new information and her emotions had been pitched every which way in the past thirty six hours. First the highs of their night together, the absolute lows of seeing Gill in another’s arms, the fury of seeing him leave this morning, her red-hot temper tantrum… Oh no, what had she done? She groaned inwardly. Would Gill want anything to do with her after seeing her so out of control? Andi’s heart sank as she looked at the woman she knew she was beginning to love. Had she lost her already, before they had barely begun? She realized that Gill was asking her a question and forced herself to concentrate on the here and now.

“Can you forgive me, babe? I’m so sorry I upset you, it was never my intention to do that I didn’t mean to hide anything from you; I just figured there was time. I was just scared of losing you before we had even begun”.

Andi let go a breath she hadn’t even known she was holding, scarcely believing she had heard her own thoughts from Gill’s lips and her heart said a silent thankful prayer that she had been given a second chance.

“It’s me that should be asking your forgiveness.” Andi replied as she slid off the couch and knelt at Gill’s feet, taking hold of both her hands and staring straight into those melting chocolate brown eyes. “I’m so sorry for scaring you and I promise never to lose my temper like that again. I just went crazy thinking of you with someone else. In case I haven’t mentioned it before, you are very special to me Gill Hadley and I never want to lose you.”

Her answer came in the form of the gentlest of kisses and a smile that lit up the room. Then Gill laughed. “Get up off the floor you doofus, it’s not a position that suits you. From the looks of your eyes you pulled an all-nighter, and I didn’t get a heap of sleep myself. What with Jason being so tall I had to give him the bed and I slept on the couch. So here are your options. I can cook us some breakfast and you can ask me any questions you might still have and then we can slide under the covers and catch us some Sunday morning shut eye. Or,” she said, slipping her arms around Andi’s waist and drawing their bodies closer, “We could always do it in reverse. What do you think?”

Andi grinned back at her “I think it must be your bad influence” she answered, “ but lately I seem to have lost the knack of doing things in the correct order. Lead the way babe, I‘ll be right behind you.